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Sometimes makes less sense than the Bruckheimeresque American action flicks it emulates .
1
One of those films where the characters inhabit that special annex of hell where adults behave like kids , children behave like adults and everyone screams at the top of their lungs no matter what the situation .
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There 's only one way to kill Michael Myers for good : stop buying tickets to these movies .
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The movie is about as humorous as watching your favorite pet get buried alive .
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In other words , about as bad a film you 're likely to see all year .
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Five screenwriters are credited with the cliché-laden screenplay ; it seems as if each watered down the version of the one before .
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The whole thing comes off like a particularly amateurish episode of Bewitched that takes place during Spring Break .
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Well made but uninvolving , Bloodwork is n't a terrible movie , just a stultifyingly obvious one -- an unrewarding collar for a murder mystery .
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So we got Ten Little Indians meets Friday the 13th by way of Clean and Sober , filmed on the set of Carpenter 's The Thing and loaded with actors you 're most likely to find on the next inevitable incarnation of The Love Boat .
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The movie 's blatant derivativeness is one reason it 's so lackluster .
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Kids do n't mind crappy movies as much as adults , provided there 's lots of cute animals and clumsy people .
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It 's the humanizing stuff that will probably sink the film for anyone who does n't think about percentages all day long .
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Ken Russell would love this .
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In one scene , we get a stab at soccer hooliganism , a double-barreled rip-off of Quentin Tarantino 's climactic shootout -- and Meat Loaf explodes .
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This is absolutely and completely ridiculous and an insult to every family whose mother has suffered through the horrible pains of a death by cancer .
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The premise of `` Abandon '' holds promise , ... but its delivery is a complete mess .
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A little too ponderous to work as shallow entertainment , not remotely incisive enough to qualify as drama , Monsoon Wedding serves mostly to whet one 's appetite for the Bollywood films .
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Unless Bob Crane is someone of particular interest to you , this film 's impressive performances and adept direction are n't likely to leave a lasting impression .
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The bottom line with Nemesis is the same as it has been with all the films in the series : Fans will undoubtedly enjoy it , and the uncommitted need n't waste their time on it .
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The lousy John Q all but spits out Denzel Washington 's fine performance in the title role .
1
The whole thing feels like a ruse , a tactic to cover up the fact that the picture is constructed around a core of flimsy -- or , worse yet , nonexistent -- ideas .
1
What a stiflingly unfunny and unoriginal mess this is !
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The film is so packed with subplots involving the various Silbersteins that it feels more like the pilot episode of a TV series than a feature film .
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Opera on film is never satisfactory .
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The art demands live viewing .
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The innate theatrics that provide its thrills and extreme emotions lose their luster when flattened onscreen .
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Despite all the closed-door hanky-panky , the film is essentially juiceless .
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It is parochial , accessible to a chosen few , standoffish to everyone else , and smugly suggests a superior moral tone is more important than filmmaking skill
1
The Sweetest Thing leaves an awful sour taste .
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It 's lost the politics and the social observation and become just another situation romance about a couple of saps stuck in an inarticulate screenplay .
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Terminally bland , painfully slow and needlessly confusing ... The movie , shot on digital videotape rather than film , is frequently indecipherable .
1
As dumb and cheesy as they may be , the cartoons look almost Shakespearean -- both in depth and breadth -- after watching this digital-effects-heavy , supposed family-friendly comedy .
0
Aloof and lacks any real raw emotion , which is fatal for a film that relies on personal relationships .
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A low-rent retread of the Alien pictures .
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Its initial excitement settles into a warmed over pastiche .
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A big meal of cliches that the talented cast generally chokes on .
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The story has little wit and no surprises .
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The Merchant-Ivory team continues to systematically destroy everything we hold dear about cinema , only now it 's begun to split up so that it can do even more damage .
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What should have been a cutting Hollywood satire is instead about as fresh as last week 's issue of Variety .
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Hey everybody , wanna watch a movie in which a guy dressed as a children 's party clown gets violently gang-raped ?
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A little more intensity and a little less charm would have saved this film a world of hurt .
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-LRB- T -RRB- his slop does n't even have potential as a cult film , as it 's too loud to shout insults at the screen .
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The movie 's plot is almost entirely witless and inane , carrying every gag two or three times beyond its limit to sustain a laugh .
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... may work as an addictive guilty pleasure but the material never overcomes its questionable satirical ambivalence .
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as in aimless , arduous , and arbitrary .
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Plays like a glossy melodrama that occasionally verges on camp .
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A puppy dog so desperate for attention it nearly breaks its little neck trying to perform entertaining tricks .
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Just about all of the film is confusing on one level or another , making Ararat far more demanding than it needs to be .
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A little less extreme than in the past , with longer exposition sequences between them , and with fewer gags to break the tedium .
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There 's a heavy stench of ` been there , done that ' hanging over the film .
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The biggest problem with Satin Rouge is Lilia herself .
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A quaint , romanticized rendering .
0
A potentially good comic premise and excellent cast are terribly wasted .
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Woody Allen used to ridicule movies like Hollywood Ending .
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Been there done that .
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There is only so much baked cardboard I need to chew .
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A movie like The Guys is why film criticism can be considered work .
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Even if it made its original release date last fall , it would 've reeked of a been-there , done-that sameness .
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A loud , ugly , irritating movie without any of its satirical salvos hitting a discernible target .
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A movie version of a paint-by-numbers picture .
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We can tell what it is supposed to be , but ca n't really call it a work of art .
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Bravado Kathy !
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... Liotta is put in an impossible spot because his character 's deceptions ultimately undo him and the believability of the entire scenario .
1
Too bad .
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Unfunny and lacking any sense of commitment to or affection for its characters , the Reginald Hudlin comedy relies on toilet humor , ethnic slurs .
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This romantic\/comedy asks the question how much souvlaki can you take before indigestion sets in .
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Squandering his opportunity to make absurdist observations , Burns gets caught up in the rush of slapstick thoroughfare .
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It has no affect on the Kurds , but it wore me down .
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The actors improvise and scream their way around this movie directionless , lacking any of the rollicking dark humor so necessary to make this kind of idea work on screen .
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Co-writer\/director Jonathan Parker 's attempts to fashion a Brazil-like , hyper-real satire fall dreadfully short .
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A superfluous sequel ... plagued by that old familiar feeling of ` let 's get this thing over with ' : Everyone has shown up at the appointed time and place , but visible enthusiasm is mighty hard to find .
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If there 's a heaven for bad movies , Deuces Wild is on its way .
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Comes off like a bad imitation of the Bard .
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What 's missing in Murder by Numbers is any real psychological grounding for the teens ' deviant behaviour .
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An uninspired preachy and clichéd war film .
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Horrendously amateurish filmmaking that is plainly dull and visually ugly when it is n't incomprehensible .
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A movie that harps on media-constructed ` issues ' like whether compromise is the death of self ... this Orgasm -LRB- wo n't be an -RRB- exceedingly memorable one for most people .
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If Festival in Cannes nails hard - boiled Hollywood argot with a bracingly nasty accuracy , much about the film , including some of its casting , is frustratingly unconvincing .
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The movie is too impressed with its own solemn insights to work up much entertainment value .
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I have n't seen such self-amused trash since Freddy Got Fingered .
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Little more than a well-mounted history lesson .
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Rob Schneider 's infantile cross-dressing routines fill The Hot Chick , the latest gimmick from this unimaginative comedian .
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A horrible , 99-minute stink bomb .
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The film is weighed down by supporting characters who are either too goodly , wise and knowing or downright comically evil .
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The film is so bad it does n't improve upon the experience of staring at a blank screen .
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Sheridan 's take on the author 's schoolboy memoir ... is a rather toothless take on a hard young life .
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It jumps around with little logic or continuity , presenting backstage bytes of information that never amount to a satisfying complete picture of this particular , anciently demanding métier .
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When it comes to the battle of Hollywood vs. Woo , it looks like Woo 's a P.O.W.
1
The Chateau has one very funny joke and a few other decent ones , but all it amounts to is a mildly funny , sometimes tedious , ultimately insignificant film .
1
It 's dull , spiritless , silly and monotonous : an ultra-loud blast of pointless mayhem , going nowhere fast .
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The mushy finale turns John Q into a movie-of-the-week tearjerker .
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Content merely to lionize its title character and exploit his anger - all for easy sanctimony , formulaic thrills and a ham-fisted sermon on the need for national health insurance .
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The movie turns out to be -LRB- Assayas ' -RRB- homage to the Gallic ` tradition of quality , ' in all its fusty squareness .
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Its message has merit and , in the hands of a brutally honest individual like Prophet Jack , might have made a point or two regarding life .
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-LRB- Seems -RRB- even more uselessly redundant and shamelessly money-grubbing than most third-rate horror sequels .
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It 's hard to imagine that even very small children will be impressed by this tired retread .
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Neither as scary-funny as Tremors nor demented-funny as Starship Troopers , the movie is n't tough to take as long as you 've paid a matinee price .
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If swimfan does catch on , it may be because teens are looking for something to make them laugh .
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The Master of Disguise may have made a great Saturday Night Live sketch , but a great movie it is not .
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It 's quite an achievement to set and shoot a movie at the Cannes Film Festival and yet fail to capture its visual appeal or its atmosphere .
1