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Imagine a film that begins as a Seven rip-off , only to switch to a mix of The Shining , The Thing , and any naked teenagers horror flick from the 1980s .
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Most of the dialogue made me want to pack raw dough in my ears .
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Costner 's warm-milk persona is just as ill-fitting as Shadyac 's perfunctory directing chops , and some of the more overtly silly dialogue would sink Laurence Olivier .
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It 's coherent , well shot , and tartly acted , but it wears you down like a dinner guest showing off his doctorate .
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Directed by Kevin Bray , whose crisp framing , edgy camera work , and wholesale ineptitude with acting , tone and pace very obviously mark him as a video helmer making his feature debut .
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turns a potentially interesting idea into an excruciating film school experience that plays better only for the film 's publicists or for people who take as many drugs as the film 's characters
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High Crimes is a cinematic misdemeanor , a routine crime thriller remarkable only for its lack of logic and misuse of two fine actors , Morgan Freeman and Ashley Judd .
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Set in a 1986 Harlem that does n't look much like anywhere in New York .
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The chocolate factory without Charlie .
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Long on twinkly-eyed close-ups and short on shame .
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Hip-hop rarely comes alive as its own fire-breathing entity in this picture .
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A dull , somnambulant exercise in pretension whose pervasive quiet is broken by frequent outbursts of violence and noise .
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Deserving of its critical backlash and more .
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Still , it just sits there like a side dish no one ordered .
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The Sum of All Fears is remarkably fuddled about motives and context , which drains it of the dramatic substance that would shake us in our boots -LRB- or cinema seats -RRB- .
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The movie spends more time with Schneider than with newcomer McAdams , even though her performance is more interesting -LRB- and funnier -RRB- than his .
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This low-rent -- and even lower-wit -- rip-off of the Farrelly brothers ' oeuvre gets way too mushy -- and in a relatively short amount of time .
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It recycles every cliché about gays in what is essentially an extended soap opera .
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May offend viewers not amused by the sick sense of humor .
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It aimlessly and unsuccessfully attempts to fuse at least three dull plots into one good one .
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If you 're not fans of the adventues of Steve and Terri , you should avoid this like the dreaded King Brown snake .
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Personally , I 'd rather watch them on the Animal Planet .
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Cherish is a dud -- a romantic comedy that 's not the least bit romantic and only mildly funny .
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All of the filmmakers ' calculations ca n't rescue Brown Sugar from the curse of blandness .
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... post-September 11 , `` The Sum Of All Fears '' seems more tacky and reprehensible , manipulating our collective fear without bestowing the subject with the intelligence or sincerity it unequivocally deserves .
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The exclamation point seems to be the only bit of glee you 'll find in this dreary mess .
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Godard 's ode to tackling life 's wonderment is a rambling and incoherent manifesto about the vagueness of topical excess ... In Praise of Love remains a ponderous and pretentious endeavor that 's unfocused and tediously exasperating .
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Humorless , self-conscious art drivel , made without a glimmer of intelligence or invention .
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The movie 's progression into rambling incoherence gives new meaning to the phrase ` fatal script error . '
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Solondz may be convinced that he has something significant to say , but he is n't talking a talk that appeals to me .
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More tiring than anything .
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Nelson 's intentions are good , but the end result does no justice to the story itself .
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It 's horribly depressing and not very well done .
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... the efforts of its star , Kline , to lend some dignity to a dumb story are for naught .
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A good-natured ensemble comedy that tries hard to make the most of a bumper cast , but never quite gets off the ground .
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Is n't it a bit early in his career for director Barry Sonnenfeld to do a homage to himself ?
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And it 's a lousy one at that .
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Overly long and worshipful bio-doc .
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I 'll go out on a limb .
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It is n't quite one of the worst movies of the year .
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It 's just merely very bad .
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Writer-director Ritchie reduces Wertmuller 's social mores and politics to tiresome jargon .
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Everything about Girls Ca n't Swim , even its passages of sensitive observation , feels secondhand , familiar -- and not in a good way .
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Feels aimless for much of its running time , until late in the film when a tidal wave of plot arrives , leaving questions in its wake .
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In my own very humble opinion , In Praise of Love lacks even the most fragmented charms I have found in almost all of his previous works .
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The script is too mainstream and the psychology too textbook to intrigue .
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Muddled , simplistic and more than a little pretentious .
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A disaster of a drama , saved only by its winged assailants .
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Director Elie Chouraqui , who co-wrote the script , catches the chaotic horror of war , but why bother if you 're going to subjugate truth to the tear-jerking demands of soap opera ?
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Dong never pushes for insights beyond the superficial tensions of the dynamic he 's dissecting , and the film settles too easily along the contours of expectation .
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If there was any doubt that Peter O'Fallon did n't have an original bone in his body , A Rumor of Angels should dispel it .
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An occasionally interesting but mostly repetitive look at a slice of counterculture that might be best forgotten .
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What could have been right at home as a nifty plot line in Steven Soderbergh 's Traffic fails to arrive at any satisfying destination .
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The movie is like Scorsese 's Mean Streets redone by someone who ignored it in favor of old ` juvenile delinquent ' paperbacks with titles like Leather Warriors and Switchblade Sexpot .
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This pathetic junk is barely an hour long .
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Nevertheless , it still seems endless .
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It is n't that Stealing Harvard is a horrible movie -- if only it were that grand a failure !
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It 's just that it 's so not-at-all-good .
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Is it possible for a documentary to be utterly entranced by its subject and still show virtually no understanding of it ?
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It 's supposed to be a romantic comedy - it suffers from too much Norma Rae and not enough Pretty Woman .
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The leads are so unmemorable , despite several attempts at lengthy dialogue scenes , that one eventually resents having to inhale this gutter romancer 's secondhand material .
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Staggers between flaccid satire and what is supposed to be madcap farce .
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Not that any of us should be complaining when a film clocks in around 90 minutes these days , but the plotting here leaves a lot to be desired .
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Plays like the old disease-of-the-week small-screen melodramas .
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Like life on the island , the movie grows boring despite the scenery .
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The truth about Charlie is that it 's a brazenly misguided project .
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So exaggerated and broad that it comes off as annoying rather than charming .
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An awkward hybrid of genres that just does n't work .
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The latest vapid actor 's exercise to appropriate the structure of Arthur Schnitzler 's Reigen .
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Snipes is both a snore and utter tripe .
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Ritchie 's film is easier to swallow than Wertmuller 's polemical allegory , but it 's self-defeatingly decorous .
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Chalk it up as the worst kind of hubristic folly .
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It 's the kind of under-inspired , overblown enterprise that gives Hollywood sequels a bad name .
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Rosenthal -LRB- Halloween II -RRB- seems to have forgotten everything he ever knew about generating suspense .
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Even Murphy 's expert comic timing and famed charisma ca n't rescue this effort .
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A sleek advert for youthful anomie that never quite equals the sum of its pretensions .
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Some Body smacks of exhibitionism more than it does cathartic truth telling .
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Apparently , romantic comedy with a fresh point of view just does n't figure in the present Hollywood program .
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Depressingly thin and exhaustingly contrived .
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Only masochistic moviegoers need apply .
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A movie that 's held captive by mediocrity .
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What 's next ?
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David Spade as Citizen Kane ?
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The problem , amazingly enough , is the screenplay .
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It 's a Frankenstein-monster of a film that does n't know what it wants to be .
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Upper West Sidey exercise in narcissism and self-congratulation disguised as a tribute .
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On its icy face , the new film is a subzero version of Monsters , Inc. , without the latter 's imagination , visual charm or texture .
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I ca n't say this enough : This movie is about an adult male dressed in pink jammies .
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It 's a mindless action flick with a twist -- far better suited to video-viewing than the multiplex .
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After a while , the only way for a reasonably intelligent person to get through The Country Bears is to ponder how a whole segment of pop-music history has been allowed to get wet , fuzzy and sticky .
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The film is grossly contradictory in conveying its social message , if indeed there is one .
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Often lingers just as long on the irrelevant as on the engaging , which gradually turns What Time Is It There ?
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into How Long Is This Movie ?
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Too bad Kramer could n't make a guest appearance to liven things up .
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Deuces Wild is an encyclopedia of cliches that shoplifts shamelessly from farewell-to-innocence movies like The Wanderers and A Bronx Tale without cribbing any of their intelligence .
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It 's a barely tolerable slog over well-trod ground .
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Epps has neither the charisma nor the natural affability that has made Tucker a star .
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A dull , dumb and derivative horror film .
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An awkwardly contrived exercise in magic realism .
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Demme gets a lot of flavor and spice into his Charade remake , but he ca n't disguise that he 's spiffing up leftovers that are n't so substantial or fresh .
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