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I mean, I've gone out with bums, but they were gorgeous. It's the only reason to go out with a bum.
This food's delicious. You're a wonderful cook. And you have a lovely home.
This food's delicious. You're a wonderful cook. And you have a lovely home.
Jack, he's starting a conversation...
Well, it's funny! Whatta want from me?
It's not funny. It's... sophomoric and mindless... and dumb.
It's not funny. It's... sophomoric and mindless... and dumb.
Then why the hell do we watch all the time?
Then why the hell do we watch all the time?
Because it makes me feel good to see how not funny it is and how America doesn't know the first thing about funny which makes it easier not being a famous funny TV celebrity because that would just mean that I'm not really talented.
I can't tell you how distraught I was. All night long. What the hell happened?
I was attacked.
I was attacked.
<u>What</u>!
<u>What</u>!
Two kids tried to set me on fire.
Two kids tried to set me on fire.
<u>Oh my God</u>... <u>What did they do</u>! <u>My</u> <u>God</u>!!!
Oh, I used to be such a Catholic.
You still believe in God?
You still believe in God?
Oh sure... Gotta believe in God. But I don't think God made man in his own image. No. 'Cause most of... the bullshit that happens, is because of men. No, I think man was made out of the devil's image and women were created out of God -- because women can have babies which is sorta like creating, and which also expl...
I was not with a woman last night. I was out with Parry.
The moron?
The moron?
He's not a moron.
He's not a moron.
And who's Lydia?
And who's Lydia?
Lydia is the girl Parry likes... And I thought, if I could get them together I...
Lydia is the girl Parry likes... And I thought, if I could get them together I...
What? The curse'll be lifted? <u>Will</u> <u>you please</u>!
What? The curse'll be lifted? <u>Will</u> <u>you please</u>!
I... You're not going to understand this.
I... You're not going to understand this.
Don't treat me like I'm stupid. It pisses me off.
Don't treat me like I'm stupid. It pisses me off.
All right... Sorry... I feel indebted to him.
All right... Sorry... I feel indebted to him.
What does that mean?
What does that mean?
See, I told you!
See, I told you!
Well, what the hell does that mean?
Well, what the hell does that mean?
I thought... if... if I can help him in some way... you know?... get him this girl he loves... Then... maybe.... things'll start changing for me... My luck, ya know... Maybe... Forget it... It's a stupid idea.
You know, I can't believe I did it. You think it'll work out?
Who's knows. My Aunt Marge used to say, "some matches are made in heaven, some are made in hell and some are made in hardware stores".
Who's knows. My Aunt Marge used to say, "some matches are made in heaven, some are made in hell and some are made in hardware stores".
Nothing it's just...I begining to understand you.
Nothing it's just...I begining to understand you.
Well...I think you should feel very proud. You did a real nice thing for somebody else. I'm very proud.
Well...I think you should feel very proud. You did a real nice thing for somebody else. I'm very proud.
You were great. Thanks alot.
... I'd like to focus on my career - - now than I can, now that everything's all right... Parry's taken care of... and... Like I said, I feel like I know a lot more now and I don't...
First of all, let me tell you something -- you don't know shit. Second of all, as far as <u>we</u> go, what time do you need? What have we been doing here, except <u>time</u>? Have I ever... ever pressured you!?
First of all, let me tell you something -- you don't know shit. Second of all, as far as <u>we</u> go, what time do you need? What have we been doing here, except <u>time</u>? Have I ever... ever pressured you!?
No.
No.
No. So what time do you need? I love you -- you love me -- you want to get your career going, great! I'd like to be a part of it -- I think I deserve that! So what do you need to figure out alone!?
You can't even give me that?! What were you gonna do, Jack?... Just gonna organize your life... ... walk out that door, move in by yourself and what -- drop the news when you find somebody else? What were you planning to do, Jack?
I didn't know. I just said all I want is some time.
I didn't know. I just said all I want is some time.
Bullshit! If you're going to hurt me, you hurt me now -- not some long... drawn out hurt that takes weeks of my life because you don't have the balls!
Bullshit! If you're going to hurt me, you hurt me now -- not some long... drawn out hurt that takes weeks of my life because you don't have the balls!
All right... I'll pack my stuff tonight.
Um...I've got to run. I've bee doing this all day. Are you going to be all right?
Oh please!...I was born a Catholic in Brooklyn... I've been to hell and back.... I'll be fine... ....Thanks...You're a gem.
You shouldn't hang around this neighborhood.
I... I was just leaving.
I... I was just leaving.
People spend a lot of hard earned money for this neighborhood. It's not fair... looking out their windows to see your ass asleep on the streets...
People spend a lot of hard earned money for this neighborhood. It's not fair... looking out their windows to see your ass asleep on the streets...
Yes... I... I agree...
Yes... I... I agree...
Good. You believe this drunk?
This is it. I'm in hell. Damned to an eternity of idiotic conversation.
Great place huh?
Pretty impressive huh?...Don't let it scare you. I'll admit it's formidable but everything has it's weakness.
You can't just break into Langdon Carmichael's house. This man has done nothing.
You can't just break into Langdon Carmichael's house. This man has done nothing.
O.K...let me explain this one more time...The Holly Grail is in -....
O.K...let me explain this one more time...The Holly Grail is in -....
All right! Listen - please...don't start drooling or...rolling your eyes when I tell you this but - You shouldn't do this..There is no Holy Grail.
All right! Listen - please...don't start drooling or...rolling your eyes when I tell you this but - You shouldn't do this..There is no Holy Grail.
Of course there is, Jack. What do you think the Crusades were - a frat initiation? I don't think so...There has to be a Grail.
Of course there is, Jack. What do you think the Crusades were - a frat initiation? I don't think so...There has to be a Grail.
Look, you're only sort of insane, really. People like you can lead semi-normal lives. You could get a job...
Look, you're only sort of insane, really. People like you can lead semi-normal lives. You could get a job...
I don't need a job. I have a quest.
I don't need a job. I have a quest.
I take it back - you're fucking deranged... And you're going to get yourself killed trying to get in there!
I take it back - you're fucking deranged... And you're going to get yourself killed trying to get in there!
Tch. You are so sweet...Now I know why you're saying this. ...You're afraid I'm in danger and you're trying to protect me.
Tch. You are so sweet...Now I know why you're saying this. ...You're afraid I'm in danger and you're trying to protect me.
No. I think you're a moron and I don't want to get into trouble.
Isn't it great up here... He's gone now, but we had him on the run! We would've had his ass if we had horses! He's running scared!
WHO! WHO'S RUNNING?!! WHO HAVE WE BEEN CHASING!?? CAN I ASK THIS QUESTION NOW!!!
Holdin' my penis...
<u>Parry</u>! Close your pants...
Unhand that degenerate - you adolescent ass of a one balled donkey!
It's just a bum...You know, there's enough in here for the two of you.
It's just a bum...You know, there's enough in here for the two of you.
Ha, ha, ha, ha rubbish...now begone...before somebody drops a house on you!...
You a fag too?
<u>Fag..a</u> <u>fag</u> <u>you</u> <u>say!?</u>... <u>"Curst</u> <u>wolf!</u> <u>Thy</u> <u>fury</u> <u>inward</u> <u>on</u> <u>thyself</u> <u>Pray</u> <u>and</u> <u>consume</u> <u>thee!"</u>
<u>Fag..a</u> <u>fag</u> <u>you</u> <u>say!?</u>... <u>"Curst</u> <u>wolf!</u> <u>Thy</u> <u>fury</u> <u>inward</u> <u>on</u> <u>thyself</u> <u>Pray</u> <u>and</u> <u>consume</u> <u>thee!"</u>
Fuck you.
Come on! Go for it! What the hell are they gonna do? They can't do nothin!
<u>Nothing!</u> <u>They</u> <u>can</u> <u>do</u> <u>nothing!</u> <u>Gentlemen!</u>
You can't leave me tied up out here alone, you fucking faggot!
You won't be alone for long.
Give 'em the horn, Bob.
Look at these assholes! What the hell are they doing?!
Tell me what in the hell's going on, Elton!
I got accused a robbin' a fillin'station down in the Indian Nation, didn' I tell you...
How 'bout if I just cut off your damn water?
I'm too moved by your gentility to speak.
Why'nt you take 'at sign off your tit, Ray, an' let's go on out.
Out where?
I can't help it, honey, the ball just keeps goin' cocky wobbly on me...
Will you just do what the hell I tell you...
Will you just do what the hell I tell you...
I did, didn' I, El?
I did, didn' I, El?
You got another ball comin'.
Come on, DiPesto. We can still have a good time.
You're the pathetic one, not me.
You're the pathetic one, not me.
I'm going on over there...
I'm going on over there...
I'm not some piece a crap.
I'm not some piece a crap.
I know you're not.
I know you're not.
You treat me like I was.
You treat me like I was.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
You go slippin' around in front a my face, an' in front a Elton an' Stoney. What do you imagine they think a someone you treat that way...
You go slippin' around in front a my face, an' in front a Elton an' Stoney. What do you imagine they think a someone you treat that way...
Now, hand...
Elton and Stoney know how I feel about you. An' they're just goin' to think I'm not too nice a guy, which I'm not, an' that you're a hell of a person puttin' up with me, that's all.
You're goin' a find me dead one time.
You're goin' a find me dead one time.
Sssh, come on now... Be a good girl.
Sssh, come on now... Be a good girl.
If you really want a get up an' leave me, you can read about it in the newsprint.
If you really want a get up an' leave me, you can read about it in the newsprint.
I'm not going to get up an' leave you. Now let's go over to El's an' have a good time.
I'm not going to get up an' leave you. Now let's go over to El's an' have a good time.
Do you love me, Bobby?
Look at my car! Piece of shit! I just bought it brand new from a used-car lot, and the steering goes to the pot on me!
You're lucky no one was hurt.
You're lucky no one was hurt.
Seven hundred dollars, down the toilet! I'd like to go back and punch the son of a bitch out! Can you give us a lift?
Robert, I think you better just...
You're all full of shit!
Haven't you got a jacket or anything with you?
No, I don't, I uh... it got burned up. Everything in the car got the shit burned out of it. All I got left is what I have on...
No, I don't, I uh... it got burned up. Everything in the car got the shit burned out of it. All I got left is what I have on...
I've got an extra jacket behind the seat, if you want to put it on.
I've got an extra jacket behind the seat, if you want to put it on.
No, it's okay.
No, it's okay.
Suit yourself. But I'll tell you, where we're headed is gonna get colder'n hell.
Suit yourself. But I'll tell you, where we're headed is gonna get colder'n hell.
It's all right. I'm fine.
There'd never be a hole big enough. Now took at me, for instance, when I was just one person, before Bobby, I had so much garbage collectin' onto me every day, I was thinkin' about gettin a dispose all...
A dispose-all, what's that but more crap? I've never seen such crap. Oofh, I don't know how people get up in the morning.
Don't fuck wit' me! Don't fuck wit' me. My lawyer's so good he'll have you workin in Alaska, so dress warn.
Aaron, how you doin'?
Aaron, how you doin'?
Fine.
Fine.
Look at me.
Look at me.
What?
What?
Why you have an attitude for?
Why you have an attitude for?
Not now, I'm busy
Not now, I'm busy
God, I just wanna speak to you. I just wanna speak to you the way I feel about you.
God, I just wanna speak to you. I just wanna speak to you the way I feel about you.
Hurry up, you're wastin' my time, what the fuck.
I wanna go out with you, I want to be part of your life. I want you to treat me the way a girlfriend should be treated.
Then don't go out with me.
Then don't go out with me.
For once in your life have some respect for me, don't even curse at me or nothin'.
For once in your life have some respect for me, don't even curse at me or nothin'.
Now she's tellin' me what the fuck to do.
Now she's tellin' me what the fuck to do.
God, you drive me crazy. I just want you to know how I feel and you don't understand.
God, you drive me crazy. I just want you to know how I feel and you don't understand.
Just get the fuck outta here.
What are you going that way for?
I'm not goin' to 10th Street, people piss and shit in that pool,
I'm not goin' to 10th Street, people piss and shit in that pool,
Where you goin'?