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twg_000000022900 | fray to be fought between Sir Hugh the Welsh priest and Caius the French doctor. FORD. Good mine host o the Garter, a word with you. HOST. What sayst thou, my bully rook? [_Ford and the Host talk apart._] SHALLOW [_To Page_.] Will you go with us to behold it? My merry host hath had the measuring of their weapons, | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022901 | and, I think, hath appointed them contrary places; for, believe me, I hear the parson is no jester. Hark, I will tell you what our sport shall be. [_Shallow and Page talk apart. Ford and the Host come forward._] HOST Hast thou no suit against my knight, my guest cavaliero? FORD. None, I protest. But Ill give you a pottle | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022902 | of burnt sack to give me recourse to him, and tell him my name is Brook, only for a jest. HOST. My hand, bully. Thou shalt have egress and regresssaid I well?and thy name shall be Brook. It is a merry knight. Will you go, myn-heers? SHALLOW. Have with you, mine host. PAGE. I have heard the Frenchman hath good | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022903 | skill in his rapier. SHALLOW. Tut, sir, I could have told you more. In these times you stand on distanceyour passes, stoccadoes, and I know not what. Tis the heart, Master Page; tis here, tis here. I have seen the time, with my long sword I would have made you four tall fellows skip like rats. HOST. Here, boys, here, | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022904 | here! Shall we wag? PAGE. Have with you. I had rather hear them scold than fight. [_Exeunt Host, Shallow and Page._] FORD Though Page be a secure fool, and stands so firmly on his wifes frailty, yet I cannot put off my opinion so easily. She was in his company at Pages house, and what they made there I know | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022905 | not. Well, I will look further into t, and I have a disguise to sound Falstaff. If I find her honest, I lose not my labour. If she be otherwise, tis labour well bestowed. [_Exit._] SCENE II. A room in the Garter Inn Enter Falstaff and Pistol. FALSTAFF. I will not lend thee a penny. PISTOL. Why then, the worlds | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022906 | mine oyster, Which I with sword will open. FALSTAFF. Not a penny. I have been content, sir, you should lay my countenance to pawn; I have grated upon my good friends for three reprieves for you and your coach-fellow Nym, or else you had looked through the grate like a gemini of baboons. I am damned in hell for swearing | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022907 | to gentlemen my friends you were good soldiers and tall fellows. And when Mistress Bridget lost the handle of her fan, I took t upon mine honour thou hadst it not. PISTOL. Didst not thou share? Hadst thou not fifteen pence? FALSTAFF. Reason, you rogue, reason. Thinkst thou Ill endanger my soul gratis? At a word, hang no more about | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022908 | me, I am no gibbet for you. Goa short knife and a throngto your manor of Pickt-hatch, go. Youll not bear a letter for me, you rogue? You stand upon your honour! Why, thou unconfinable baseness, it is as much as I can do to keep the terms of my honour precise. Ay, ay, I myself sometimes, leaving the fear | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022909 | of God on the left hand, and hiding mine honour in my necessity, am fain to shuffle, to hedge, and to lurch; and yet you, rogue, will ensconce your rags, your cat-a-mountain looks, your red-lattice phrases, and your bold beating oaths, under the shelter of your honour! You will not do it! You! PISTOL. I do relent. What wouldst thou | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022910 | more of man? Enter Robin. ROBIN Sir, heres a woman would speak with you. FALSTAFF. Let her approach. Enter Mistress Quickly. MISTRESS QUICKLY. Give your worship good morrow. FALSTAFF. Good morrow, goodwife. MISTRESS QUICKLY. Not so, ant please your worship. FALSTAFF. Good maid, then. MISTRESS QUICKLY. Ill be sworn, as my mother was, the first hour I was born. FALSTAFF. | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022911 | I do believe the swearer. What with me? MISTRESS QUICKLY. Shall I vouchsafe your worship a word or two? FALSTAFF. Two thousand, fair woman; and Ill vouchsafe thee the hearing. MISTRESS QUICKLY. There is one Mistress Ford, sirI pray, come a little nearer this ways. I myself dwell with Master Doctor Caius. FALSTAFF. Well, on; Mistress Ford, you say MISTRESS | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022912 | QUICKLY. Your worship says very true. I pray your worship come a little nearer this ways. FALSTAFF. I warrant thee, nobody hears. Mine own people, mine own people. MISTRESS QUICKLY. Are they so? God bless them, and make them His servants! FALSTAFF. Well, Mistress Ford, what of her? MISTRESS QUICKLY. Why, sir, shes a good creature. Lord, Lord, your worships | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022913 | a wanton! Well, heaven forgive you, and all of us, I pray! FALSTAFF. Mistress Ford, come, Mistress Ford. MISTRESS QUICKLY. Marry, this is the short and the long of it: you have brought her into such a canaries as tis wonderful. The best courtier of them all, when the court lay at Windsor, could never have brought her to such | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022914 | a canary. Yet there has been knights, and lords, and gentlemen, with their coaches, I warrant you, coach after coach, letter after letter, gift after gift, smelling so sweetly, all musk, and so rushling, I warrant you, in silk and gold, and in such alligant terms, and in such wine and sugar of the best and the fairest, that would | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022915 | have won any womans heart; and I warrant you, they could never get an eye-wink of her. I had myself twenty angels given me this morning, but I defy all angels in any such sort, as they say, but in the way of honesty. And, I warrant you, they could never get her so much as sip on a cup | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022916 | with the proudest of them all. And yet there has been earlsnay, which is more, pensionersbut, I warrant you, all is one with her. FALSTAFF. But what says she to me? Be brief, my good she-Mercury. MISTRESS QUICKLY. Marry, she hath received your letter, for the which she thanks you a thousand times; and she gives you to notify that | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022917 | her husband will be absence from his house between ten and eleven. FALSTAFF. Ten and eleven? MISTRESS QUICKLY. Ay, forsooth; and then you may come and see the picture, she says, that you wot of. Master Ford, her husband, will be from home. Alas, the sweet woman leads an ill life with him. Hes a very jealousy man; she leads | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022918 | a very frampold life with him, good heart. FALSTAFF. Ten and eleven. Woman, commend me to her; I will not fail her. MISTRESS QUICKLY. Why, you say well. But I have another messenger to your worship. Mistress Page hath her hearty commendations to you too; and let me tell you in your ear, shes as fartuous a civil modest wife, | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022919 | and one, I tell you, that will not miss you morning nor evening prayer, as any is in Windsor, whoeer be the other; and she bade me tell your worship that her husband is seldom from home, but she hopes there will come a time. I never knew a woman so dote upon a man. Surely I think you have | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022920 | charms, la! Yes, in truth. FALSTAFF. Not I, I assure thee. Setting the attraction of my good parts aside, I have no other charms. MISTRESS QUICKLY. Blessing on your heart for t! FALSTAFF. But, I pray thee, tell me this: has Fords wife and Pages wife acquainted each other how they love me? MISTRESS QUICKLY. That were a jest indeed! | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022921 | They have not so little grace, I hope. That were a trick indeed! But Mistress Page would desire you to send her your little page, of all loves. Her husband has a marvellous infection to the little page; and, truly, Master Page is an honest man. Never a wife in Windsor leads a better life than she does. Do what | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022922 | she will, say what she will, take all, pay all, go to bed when she list, rise when she list, all is as she will, and truly she deserves it, for if there be a kind woman in Windsor, she is one. You must send her your page, no remedy. FALSTAFF. Why, I will. MISTRESS QUICKLY. Nay, but do so | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022923 | then, and, look you, he may come and go between you both; and in any case have a nay-word, that you may know one anothers mind, and the boy never need to understand anything; for tis not good that children should know any wickedness. Old folks, you know, have discretion, as they say, and know the world. FALSTAFF. Fare thee | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022924 | well, commend me to them both. Theres my purse; I am yet thy debtor. Boy, go along with this woman.This news distracts me. [_Exeunt Mistress Quickly and Robin._] PISTOL. This punk is one of Cupids carriers; Clap on more sails, pursue; up with your fights; Give fire! She is my prize, or ocean whelm them all! [_Exit Pistol._] FALSTAFF. Sayst | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022925 | thou so, old Jack? Go thy ways, Ill make more of thy old body than I have done. Will they yet look after thee? Wilt thou, after the expense of so much money, be now a gainer? Good body, I thank thee. Let them say tis grossly done; so it be fairly done, no matter. Enter Bardolph with a cup | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022926 | of sack. BARDOLPH Sir John, theres one Master Brook below would fain speak with you and be acquainted with you, and hath sent your worship a mornings draught of sack. FALSTAFF. Brook is his name? BARDOLPH. Ay, sir. FALSTAFF. Call him in. [_Exit Bardolph._] Such Brooks are welcome to me, that oerflow such liquor. Ah, ha, Mistress Ford and Mistress | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022927 | Page, have I encompassed you? Go to, _via!_ Enter Bardolph with Ford disguised as Brook. FORD God bless you, sir. FALSTAFF. And you, sir. Would you speak with me? FORD. I make bold to press with so little preparation upon you. FALSTAFF. Youre welcome. Whats your will?Give us leave, drawer. [_Exit Bardolph._] FORD Sir, I am a gentleman that have | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022928 | spent much. My name is Brook. FALSTAFF. Good Master Brook, I desire more acquaintance of you. FORD. Good Sir John, I sue for yours; not to charge you, for I must let you understand I think myself in better plight for a lender than you are, the which hath something emboldened me to this unseasoned intrusion; for they say, if | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022929 | money go before, all ways do lie open. FALSTAFF. Money is a good soldier, sir, and will on. FORD. Troth, and I have a bag of money here troubles me. If you will help to bear it, Sir John, take all, or half, for easing me of the carriage. FALSTAFF. Sir, I know not how I may deserve to be | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022930 | your porter. FORD. I will tell you, sir, if you will give me the hearing. FALSTAFF. Speak, good Master Brook. I shall be glad to be your servant. FORD. Sir, I hear you are a scholarI will be brief with youand you have been a man long known to me, though I had never so good means as desire to | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022931 | make myself acquainted with you. I shall discover a thing to you, wherein I must very much lay open mine own imperfection. But, good Sir John, as you have one eye upon my follies, as you hear them unfolded, turn another into the register of your own, that I may pass with a reproof the easier, sith you yourself know | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022932 | how easy it is to be such an offender. FALSTAFF. Very well, sir, proceed. FORD. There is a gentlewoman in this town, her husbands name is Ford. FALSTAFF. Well, sir. FORD. I have long loved her, and, I protest to you, bestowed much on her, followed her with a doting observance, engrossed opportunities to meet her, feed every slight occasion | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022933 | that could but niggardly give me sight of her, not only bought many presents to give her, but have given largely to many to know what she would have given. Briefly, I have pursued her as love hath pursued me, which hath been on the wing of all occasions. But whatsoever I have merited, either in my mind or in | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022934 | my means, meed, I am sure, I have received none, unless experience be a jewel. That I have purchased at an infinite rate, and that hath taught me to say this: Love like a shadow flies when substance love pursues, Pursuing that that flies, and flying what pursues. FALSTAFF. Have you received no promise of satisfaction at her hands? FORD. | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022935 | Never. FALSTAFF. Have you importuned her to such a purpose? FORD. Never. FALSTAFF. Of what quality was your love, then? FORD. Like a fair house built on another mans ground, so that I have lost my edifice by mistaking the place where I erected it. FALSTAFF. To what purpose have you unfolded this to me? FORD. When I have told | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022936 | you that, I have told you all. Some say that though she appear honest to me, yet in other places she enlargeth her mirth so far that there is shrewd construction made of her. Now, Sir John, here is the heart of my purpose: you are a gentleman of excellent breeding, admirable discourse, of great admittance, authentic in your place | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022937 | and person, generally allowed for your many warlike, courtlike, and learned preparations. FALSTAFF. O, sir! FORD. Believe it, for you know it. There is money. Spend it, spend it; spend more; spend all I have; only give me so much of your time in exchange of it as to lay an amiable siege to the honesty of this Fords wife. | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022938 | Use your art of wooing, win her to consent to you. If any man may, you may as soon as any. FALSTAFF. Would it apply well to the vehemency of your affection that I should win what you would enjoy? Methinks you prescribe to yourself very preposterously. FORD. O, understand my drift. She dwells so securely on the excellency of | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022939 | her honour that the folly of my soul dares not present itself; she is too bright to be looked against. Now, could I come to her with any detection in my hand, my desires had instance and argument to commend themselves. I could drive her then from the ward of her purity, her reputation, her marriage vow, and a thousand | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022940 | other her defences, which now are too too strongly embattled against me. What say you tot, Sir John? FALSTAFF. Master Brook, I will first make bold with your money; next, give me your hand; and last, as I am a gentleman, you shall, if you will, enjoy Fords wife. FORD. O good sir! FALSTAFF. I say you shall. FORD. Want | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022941 | no money, Sir John; you shall want none. FALSTAFF. Want no Mistress Ford, Master Brook; you shall want none. I shall be with her, I may tell you, by her own appointment; even as you came in to me, her assistant or go-between parted from me. I say I shall be with her between ten and eleven, for at that | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022942 | time the jealous rascally knave her husband will be forth. Come you to me at night. You shall know how I speed. FORD. I am blessed in your acquaintance. Do you know Ford, sir? FALSTAFF. Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave! I know him not. Yet I wrong him to call him poor. They say the jealous wittolly knave hath masses | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022943 | of money, for the which his wife seems to me well-favoured. I will use her as the key of the cuckoldly rogues coffer, and theres my harvest-home. FORD. I would you knew Ford, sir, that you might avoid him if you saw him. FALSTAFF. Hang him, mechanical salt-butter rogue! I will stare him out of his wits, I will awe | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022944 | him with my cudgel; it shall hang like a meteor oer the cuckolds horns. Master Brook, thou shalt know I will predominate over the peasant, and thou shalt lie with his wife. Come to me soon at night. Fords a knave, and I will aggravate his style. Thou, Master Brook, shalt know him for knave and cuckold. Come to me | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022945 | soon at night. [_Exit Falstaff._] FORD. What a damned epicurean rascal is this! My heart is ready to crack with impatience. Who says this is improvident jealousy? My wife hath sent to him, the hour is fixed, the match is made. Would any man have thought this? See the hell of having a false woman: my bed shall be abused, | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022946 | my coffers ransacked, my reputation gnawn at; and I shall not only receive this villanous wrong, but stand under the adoption of abominable terms, and by him that does me this wrong. Terms, names! Amaimon sounds well; Lucifer, well; Barbason, well; yet they are devils additions, the names of fiends. But cuckold? Wittol? Cuckold? The devil himself hath not such | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022947 | a name. Page is an ass, a secure ass; he will trust his wife, he will not be jealous. I will rather trust a Fleming with my butter, Parson Hugh the Welshman with my cheese, an Irishman with my aqua-vitae bottle, or a thief to walk my ambling gelding, than my wife with herself. Then she plots, then she ruminates, | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022948 | then she devises; and what they think in their hearts they may effect, they will break their hearts but they will effect. God be praised for my jealousy! Eleven oclock the hour. I will prevent this, detect my wife, be revenged on Falstaff, and laugh at Page. I will about it. Better three hours too soon than a minute too | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022949 | late. Fie, fie, fie! Cuckold, cuckold, cuckold! [_Exit._] SCENE III. A field near Windsor Enter Doctor Caius and Rugby. CAIUS. Jack Rugby! RUGBY. Sir? CAIUS. Vat is de clock, Jack? RUGBY. Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promised to meet. CAIUS. By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come. He has pray his Pible | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022950 | well dat he is no come. By gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be come. RUGBY. He is wise, sir; he knew your worship would kill him if he came. CAIUS. By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill kill him. Take your rapier, Jack; I vill tell you how I vill kill him. | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022951 | RUGBY. Alas, sir, I cannot fence. CAIUS. Villainy, take your rapier. RUGBY. Forbear; heres company. Enter Page, Shallow, Slender and Host. HOST God bless thee, bully doctor! SHALLOW. God save you, Master Doctor Caius! PAGE. Now, good Master Doctor! SLENDER. Give you good morrow, sir. CAIUS. Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for? HOST. To see thee | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022952 | fight, to see thee foin, to see thee traverse; to see thee here, to see thee there; to see thee pass thy punto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy distance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian? Is he dead, my Francisco? Ha, bully? What says my Aesculapius, my Galen, my heart of elder, ha? Is he dead, bully stale? Is | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022953 | he dead? CAIUS. By gar, he is de coward Jack-priest of de vorld. He is not show his face. HOST. Thou art a Castalion King Urinal Hector of Greece, my boy! CAIUS. I pray you, bear witness that me have stay six or seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no come. SHALLOW. He is the wiser man, | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022954 | Master doctor. He is a curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies. If you should fight, you go against the hair of your professions. Is it not true, Master Page? PAGE. Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great fighter, though now a man of peace. SHALLOW. Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old, and of the | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022955 | peace, if I see a sword out, my finger itches to make one. Though we are justices and doctors and churchmen, Master Page, we have some salt of our youth in us. We are the sons of women, Master Page. PAGE. Tis true, Master Shallow. SHALLOW. It will be found so, Master Page.Master Doctor Caius, I come to fetch you | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022956 | home. I am sworn of the peace. You have showed yourself a wise physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown himself a wise and patient churchman. You must go with me, Master Doctor. HOST. Pardon, guest justice.A word, Monsieur Mockwater. CAIUS. Mockvater? Vat is dat? HOST. Mockwater, in our English tongue, is valour, bully. CAIUS. By gar, then I have as | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022957 | much mockvater as de Englishman. Scurvy jack-dog priest! By gar, me vill cut his ears. HOST. He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully. CAIUS. Clapper-de-claw? Vat is dat? HOST. That is, he will make thee amends. CAIUS. By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw me, for, by gar, me vill have it. HOST. And I will provoke him tot, or | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022958 | let him wag. CAIUS. Me tank you for dat. HOST. And, moreover, bullybut first, Master guest, and Master Page, and eke Cavaliero Slender, go you through the town to Frogmore. PAGE [_Aside to Host_.] Sir Hugh is there, is he? HOST. [_Aside to Page_.] He is there. See what humour he is in; and I will bring the doctor about | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022959 | by the fields. Will it do well? SHALLOW. [_Aside to Host_.] We will do it. PAGE, SHALLOW and SLENDER Adieu, good Master Doctor. [_Exeunt Page, Shallow and Slender._] CAIUS By gar, me vill kill de priest, for he speak for a jackanape to Anne Page. HOST. Let him die. Sheathe thy impatience; throw cold water on thy choler. Go about | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022960 | the fields with me through Frogmore. I will bring thee where Mistress Anne Page is, at a farm-house a-feasting, and thou shalt woo her. Cried game! Said I well? CAIUS. By gar, me tank you for dat. By gar, I love you; and I shall procure-a you de good guest: de earl, de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my patients. | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022961 | HOST. For the which I will be thy adversary toward Anne Page. Said I well? CAIUS. By gar, tis good; vell said. HOST. Let us wag, then. CAIUS. Come at my heels, Jack Rugby. [_Exeunt._] ACT III SCENE I. A field near Frogmore Enter Sir Hugh Evans and Simple. EVANS. I pray you now, good Master Slenders servingman, and friend | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022962 | Simple by your name, which way have you looked for Master Caius, that calls himself doctor of physic? SIMPLE. Marry, sir, the Petty-ward, the Park-ward, every way; old Windsor way, and every way but the town way. EVANS. I most fehemently desire you, you will also look that way. SIMPLE. I will, Sir. [_Exit Simple._] EVANS Pless my soul, how | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022963 | full of cholers I am, and trempling of mind! I shall be glad if he have deceived me. How melancholies I am! I will knog his urinals about his knaves costard when I have good opportunities for the ork. Pless my soul! [_Sings._] _To shallow rivers, to whose falls Melodious birds sings madrigals. There will we make our peds of | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022964 | roses And a thousand fragrant posies. To shallow_ Mercy on me, I have a great dispositions to cry. [_Sings._] _Melodious birds sing madrigals Whenas I sat in Pabylon And a thousand vagram posies. To shallow rivers, to whose falls Melodious birds sing madrigals._ Enter Simple. SIMPLE Yonder he is, coming this way, Sir Hugh. EVANS. Hes welcome. [_Sings._] _To shallow | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022965 | rivers, to whose falls_ Heaven prosper the right! What weapons is he? SIMPLE. No weapons, sir. There comes my master, Master Shallow, and another gentleman, from Frogmore, over the stile, this way. EVANS. Pray you, give me my gownor else keep it in your arms. Enter Page, Shallow and Slender. SHALLOW How now, Master Parson? Good morrow, good Sir Hugh. | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022966 | Keep a gamester from the dice, and a good student from his book, and it is wonderful. SLENDER. [_Aside_.] Ah, sweet Anne Page! PAGE. God save you, good Sir Hugh! EVANS. God pless you from his mercy sake, all of you! SHALLOW. What, the sword and the word? Do you study them both, Master Parson? PAGE. And youthful stillin your | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022967 | doublet and hose, this raw rheumatic day? EVANS. There is reasons and causes for it. PAGE. We are come to you to do a good office, Master Parson. EVANS. Fery well; what is it? PAGE. Yonder is a most reverend gentleman who, belike having received wrong by some person, is at most odds with his own gravity and patience that | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022968 | ever you saw. SHALLOW. I have lived fourscore years and upward; I never heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning, so wide of his own respect. EVANS. What is he? PAGE. I think you know him: Master Doctor Caius, the renowned French physician. EVANS. Gots will and His passion of my heart! I had as lief you would | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022969 | tell me of a mess of porridge. PAGE. Why? EVANS. He has no more knowledge in Hibbocrates and Galen, and he is a knave besides, a cowardly knave as you would desires to be acquainted withal. PAGE. I warrant you, hes the man should fight with him. SLENDER. [_Aside_.] O, sweet Anne Page! SHALLOW. It appears so by his weapons. | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022970 | Keep them asunder. Here comes Doctor Caius. Enter Host, Caius and Rugby. PAGE Nay, good Master Parson, keep in your weapon. SHALLOW. So do you, good Master Doctor. HOST. Disarm them, and let them question. Let them keep their limbs whole and hack our English. CAIUS. I pray you, let-a me speak a word with your ear. Verefore will you | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022971 | not meet-a me? EVANS. [_Aside to Caius_.] Pray you, use your patience. In good time. CAIUS. By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog, John ape. EVANS. [_Aside to Caius_.] Pray you, let us not be laughing stocks to other mens humours. I desire you in friendship, and I will one way or other make you amends. [_Aloud_.] By | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022972 | Jeshu, I will knog your urinal about your knaves cogscomb. CAIUS. _Diable!_ Jack Rugby, mine Host de Jarteer, have I not stay for him to kill him? Have I not, at de place I did appoint? EVANS. As I am a Christians soul, now look you, this is the place appointed. Ill be judgment by mine host of the Garter. | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022973 | HOST. Peace, I say, Gallia and Gaul, French and Welsh, soul-curer and body-curer! CAIUS. Ay, dat is very good; excellent. HOST. Peace, I say! Hear mine host of the Garter. Am I politic? Am I subtle? Am I a Machiavel? Shall I lose my doctor? No, he gives me the potions and the motions. Shall I lose my parson, my | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022974 | priest, my Sir Hugh? No, he gives me the proverbs and the no-verbs. [_To Caius_.] Give me thy hand, terrestrial; so. [_To Evans_.] Give me thy hand, celestial; so. Boys of art, I have deceived you both. I have directed you to wrong places. Your hearts are mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt sack be the issue. Come, | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022975 | lay their swords to pawn. Follow me, lads of peace, follow, follow, follow. [_Exit Host._] SHALLOW. Afore God, a mad host! Follow, gentlemen, follow. SLENDER. [_Aside_.] O, sweet Anne Page! [_Exeunt Shallow, Slender and Page._] CAIUS Ha, do I perceive dat? Have you make-a de sot of us, ha, ha? EVANS. This is well, he has made us his vlouting-stog. | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022976 | I desire you that we may be friends, and let us knog our prains together to be revenge on this same scall, scurvy, cogging companion, the host of the Garter. CAIUS. By gar, with all my heart. He promise to bring me where is Anne Page; by gar, he deceive me too. EVANS. Well, I will smite his noddles. Pray | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022977 | you follow. [_Exeunt._] SCENE II. A street in Windsor Enter Mistress Page following Robin. MISTRESS PAGE. Nay, keep your way, little gallant. You were wont to be a follower, but now you are a leader. Whether had you rather, lead mine eyes, or eye your masters heels? ROBIN. I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man than follow | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022978 | him like a dwarf. MISTRESS PAGE. O, you are a flattering boy! Now I see youll be a courtier. Enter Ford. FORD Well met, Mistress Page. Whither go you? MISTRESS PAGE. Truly, sir, to see your wife. Is she at home? FORD. Ay, and as idle as she may hang together, for want of company. I think if your husbands | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022979 | were dead you two would marry. MISTRESS PAGE. Be sure of thattwo other husbands. FORD. Where had you this pretty weathercock? MISTRESS PAGE. I cannot tell what the dickens his name is my husband had him of. What do you call your knights name, sirrah? ROBIN. Sir John Falstaff. FORD. Sir John Falstaff! MISTRESS PAGE. He, he; I can never | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022980 | hit ons name. There is such a league between my good man and he! Is your wife at home indeed? FORD. Indeed she is. MISTRESS PAGE. By your leave, sir, I am sick till I see her. [_Exeunt Mistress Page and Robin._] FORD Has Page any brains? Hath he any eyes? Hath he any thinking? Sure, they sleep; he hath | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022981 | no use of them. Why, this boy will carry a letter twenty mile as easy as a cannon will shoot point-blank twelve score. He pieces out his wifes inclination, he gives her folly motion and advantage. And now shes going to my wife, and Falstaffs boy with her. A man may hear this shower sing in the wind. And Falstaffs | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022982 | boy with her! Good plots they are laid, and our revolted wives share damnation together. Well, I will take him, then torture my wife, pluck the borrowed veil of modesty from the so-seeming Mistress Page, divulge Page himself for a secure and wilful Actaeon, and to these violent proceedings all my neighbours shall cry aim. [_Clock strikes_.] The clock gives | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022983 | me my cue, and my assurance bids me search. There I shall find Falstaff. I shall be rather praised for this than mocked, for it is as positive as the earth is firm that Falstaff is there. I will go. Enter Page, Shallow, Slender, Host, Sir Hugh Evans, Caius and Rugby. SHALLOW, PAGE, etc. Well met, Master Ford. FORD. Trust | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022984 | me, a good knot. I have good cheer at home, and I pray you all go with me. SHALLOW. I must excuse myself, Master Ford. SLENDER. And so must I, sir; we have appointed to dine with Mistress Anne, and I would not break with her for more money than Ill speak of. SHALLOW. We have lingered about a match | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022985 | between Anne Page and my cousin Slender, and this day we shall have our answer. SLENDER. I hope I have your good will, father Page. PAGE. You have, Master Slender, I stand wholly for you.But my wife, Master doctor, is for you altogether. CAIUS. Ay, be-gar; and de maid is love-a me! My nursh-a Quickly tell me so mush. HOST. | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022986 | What say you to young Master Fenton? He capers, he dances, he has eyes of youth, he writes verses, he speaks holiday, he smells April and May. He will carry t, he will carry t. Tis in his buttons he will carry t. PAGE. Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman is of no having. He kept company | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022987 | with the wild Prince and Poins. He is of too high a region, he knows too much. No, he shall not knit a knot in his fortunes with the finger of my substance. If he take her, let him take her simply. The wealth I have waits on my consent, and my consent goes not that way. FORD. I beseech | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022988 | you, heartily, some of you go home with me to dinner. Besides your cheer, you shall have sport: I will show you a monster. Master Doctor, you shall go; so shall you, Master Page, and you, Sir Hugh. SHALLOW. Well, fare you well. We shall have the freer wooing at Master Pages. [_Exeunt Shallow and Slender._] CAIUS Go home, John | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022989 | Rugby; I come anon. [_Exit Rugby._] HOST Farewell, my hearts. I will to my honest knight Falstaff, and drink canary with him. [_Exit Host._] FORD [_Aside_.] I think I shall drink in pipe-wine first with him; Ill make him dance.Will you go, gentles? ALL. Have with you to see this monster. [_Exeunt._] SCENE III. A room in Fords house Enter | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022990 | Mistress Ford and Mistress Page. MISTRESS FORD. What, John! What, Robert! MISTRESS PAGE. Quickly, quickly! Is the buck-basket MISTRESS FORD. I warrant.What, Robin, I say! Enter John and Robert with a great buck-basket. MISTRESS PAGE. Come, come, come. MISTRESS FORD. Here, set it down. MISTRESS PAGE. Give your men the charge; we must be brief. MISTRESS FORD. Marry, as I | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022991 | told you before, John and Robert, be ready here hard by in the brew-house; and when I suddenly call you, come forth, and, without any pause or staggering, take this basket on your shoulders. That done, trudge with it in all haste, and carry it among the whitsters in Datchet Mead, and there empty it in the muddy ditch close | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022992 | by the Thames side. MISTRESS PAGE. You will do it? MISTRESS FORD. I ha told them over and over, they lack no direction.Be gone, and come when you are called. [_Exeunt John and Robert._] MISTRESS PAGE. Here comes little Robin. Enter Robin. MISTRESS FORD. How now, my eyas-musket, what news with you? ROBIN. My Master, Sir John, is come in | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022993 | at your back door, Mistress Ford, and requests your company. MISTRESS PAGE. You little Jack-a-Lent, have you been true to us? ROBIN. Ay, Ill be sworn. My master knows not of your being here, and hath threatened to put me into everlasting liberty if I tell you of it; for he swears hell turn me away. MISTRESS PAGE. Thourt a | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022994 | good boy, this secrecy of thine shall be a tailor to thee, and shall make thee a new doublet and hose. Ill go hide me. MISTRESS FORD. Do so.Go tell thy master I am alone. [_Exit Robin._] Mistress Page, remember you your cue. MISTRESS PAGE. I warrant thee. If I do not act it, hiss me. [_Exit Mistress Page._] MISTRESS | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022995 | FORD. Go to, then. Well use this unwholesome humidity, this gross watery pumpion; well teach him to know turtles from jays. Enter Falstaff. FALSTAFF. Have I caught thee, my heavenly jewel? Why, now let me die, for I have lived long enough. This is the period of my ambition. O this blessed hour! MISTRESS FORD. O, sweet Sir John! FALSTAFF. | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022996 | Mistress Ford, I cannot cog, I cannot prate, Mistress Ford. Now shall I sin in my wish: I would thy husband were dead. Ill speak it before the best lord: I would make thee my lady. MISTRESS FORD. I your lady, Sir John? Alas, I should be a pitiful lady. FALSTAFF. Let the court of France show me such another. | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022997 | I see how thine eye would emulate the diamond. Thou hast the right arched beauty of the brow that becomes the ship-tire, the tire-valiant, or any tire of Venetian admittance. MISTRESS FORD. A plain kerchief, Sir John. My brows become nothing else, nor that well neither. FALSTAFF. By the Lord, thou art a traitor to say so. Thou wouldst make | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022998 | an absolute courtier, and the firm fixture of thy foot would give an excellent motion to thy gait in a semi-circled farthingale. I see what thou wert, if Fortune thy foe were not, Nature thy friend. Come, thou canst not hide it. MISTRESS FORD. Believe me, theres no such thing in me. FALSTAFF. What made me love thee? Let that | 60 | gutenberg |
twg_000000022999 | persuade thee theres something extraordinary in thee. Come, I cannot cog and say thou art this and that, like a many of these lisping hawthorn buds that come like women in mens apparel, and smell like Bucklersbury in simple-time. I cannot. But I love thee, none but thee; and thou deservest it. MISTRESS FORD. Do not betray me, sir; I | 60 | gutenberg |
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