text
stringlengths
1
9.88k
- The coffin !
Where's the coffin ?
We buried him this morning.
And ever since, Uncle Harvey's been having the auction.
First thing he sold were the slaves.
He separated the families.
- Come on !
- Where are we going?
- Got any friends out in the country ?
- Yes, the Lothrups.
Why ?
If I tell you somethin', promise not to come back here until 1 0:00 tonight.
- Now, why would I do that ?
-Just promise me, MaryJane !
All right, I-- I promise.
Say... what happened to your accent ?
Those uncles of yours ain't no uncles at all.
They ain't even English.
Dr. Robinson was right.
Them two are liars and frauds.
- What ?
- Don't you worry !
I got the gold.
When this all blows over, I'll write and tell ya where it's buried.
Oh, no.
I'm gonna get those two right now and get 'em tarred--
No, you're not, MaryJane.
You promised me.
Why until 1 0:00 ?
'Cause there's a good-hearted fellow I gotta save, and at 1 0:00, we'll be gone.
Come on.
Well, why do I have to leave town ?
Why can't I just pretend I don't know ?
Because there ain't an easier book to read than your face.
You'd give it away for sure.
Even $225... $225... $225... $2 40... $27 5... $300... now higher...
- $350.
- $37 5... $37 5...
- Yeah.
- $37 5 and a $400.
Even $400.
Sold, $400 !
Let's sell the next lot.
MaryJane was safe, the gold was safe, them reptiles would soon be in jail, and at 1 0.00 tonight,Jim and me would be on a steamboat... headin'for Cairo.
All I had to do was find that deputy, steal his keys, and break Jim oouut!
- Oh, I told you...
- Let me go !
- not to disappear !
Didn't I ?
- Let me go !
Oh, now, don't kill him...just yet.
Answer up, and quick.
- Were you in our room last night ?
- No, your maj-
- Unh !
Where is our money ?
I ain't seen it since MaryJane gave it to ya.
Honest, your majesties !
If I stole it, would I still be here ?
No, I guess not, unless you're a complete numskull.
Uh-oh.
Here's another set of Wilks brothers !
Just got here on the Mississippi Queen!
Ya pays your money and ya takes your pick !
Now is the hour of your demise, you impostors !
What's this all about, my good sir ?
- Please let the man through!
- That's right!
I'm with you, Harvey.
I am Harvey Wilks, and this is my brother William.
And you two gentlemen are quite a surprise to us.
And you to us, sir.
But I must say, you should have worked on your English accent a wee bit more !
For this town has few fools, and only a fool would be fooled by that foolish accent.
That's the worst English accent I ever heard.
- Ain't nothin' like yours, Harve.
- I'm not very well fixed... to show proof of these frauds at the moment, for last night, all our bags were put off by mistake.
- Convenient mistake, huh ?
- Yeah, convenient.
What are you doing ?
What's he doing ?
Making deaf and dumb signs, that's what he's doing.
- Don't your brother know how ?
- Those are just nonsense !
And of course William can do real ones, only he broke his arm in a fall.
Ah-ha-ha !
Broke his arm, very likely, for a man who's got to make deaf signs to prove himself.
Oh, wait, wait, wait!
Now, I'm not sure these two are the real Wilks brothers, but by God, I know them two sure ain't.
By the way, Adolphus,
- are you from England ?
- Why, yes, I am.
Speak the truth now, or by God, there's gonna be one less idiot around here.
That is to say, sir,
I'm originally from Missouri, but several years ago, I was sent to England... to live with my great-grandfather,
- the Duke of Bilgewater.
- Bilgewater ?
But he died last year, and his good friend,
Mr. Harvey Wilks here, took me in.
Personally, I think you're just a damn good liar.