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- Ed!
- Oh, my God.
Oh, Ed, I'm so happy, sweetheart, I have to thank you.
Why's that?
You don't know what you've done for me.
- No, I don't.
- Oh, Ed, you big lug!
When you tracked that grease into the house today, you spilled some on my cotton balls.
But instead of tossing them out, I put the greased ones on the runn... |
Get your boots off my bed and go to your room!
I didn't want to get mink oil on my bedspread.
You got mink oil in your head.
Two books.
Leland...
- Leland, stop it!
- We have to dance, Sarah.
We have to dance for Laura.
- Leland, stop it!
Give it to me.
- We have to dance!
Leland!
Leland, give it to me!
What is going... |
I was changed.
I took the entire arm off.
My name is Mike.
His name is Bob.
Mike?
Mike, can you hear me?
"Catch you with my Death Bag."
You may think I've gone insane.
But I promise...
I will kill again!
But it...it is Laura Palmer.
Are you Laura Palmer?
Harry, it's Cooper.
Meet me for breakfast, 7:00 am the hotel lob... |
- Jerry, back from Paris?
- Ben, what a nightmare!
Right there!
No, right there.
What is with you guys?
I've got a sandwich in there, I want all those bags open.
We're looking till we find it...
Hey, Audrey, Uncle Jerry's back.
- Sylvia...
- Benjamin!
OK, OK...
Gone!
Goodbye!
Brother Ben, this is the best damn sandw... |
Always a pleasure.
Jerry...
Leland's daughter was murdered, and the Norwegians left.
- Did they sign?
- Deal's off.
We had those Vikings by the horns!
What happened?
We're not a hundred percent sure, they took their translator with them.
Did you say Leland's daughter was murdered?
Yes.
I'm depressed.
I can fix that.
Th... |
- OK.
- Good night, James.
- Good night, sir.
Hi, sailor!
Good evening, Mr Horne.
Ben, we're not gonna go in the casino first?
Jer, I didn't come here to lose my shirt, I just came to take it off.
- Kim, the Horne brothers are here.
- I'll tell Blackie.
I'd like to order two drinks.
One double scotch on the rocks.
And ... |
Well...
Donna, I don't think that what we're feeling or doing is wrong.
Why not?
Because it's the truth.
Because I think it would have turned out this way anyway.
You do?
Yes.
I remember a time in school, in the hall.
We were suddenly alone, and we looked at each other.
I almost told you I loved you then.
It's true.
I... |
I pursued, but he got away.
Maintain an around-the-clock watch on Ronnette.
We'll speak in the morning.
Got it?
Supposed to leave it in this stupid football.
Is it in there?
Not all of it.
Cash on delivery, Bobby.
He's got a gun.
- Hey, Leo.
- Hey.
Who's that?
- Is someone with you?
- Never mind.
Toss it over here, qu... |
We won't take delivery on the drugs until you get the cash.
- Do I look like a bank?
- I appreciate your position.
How could I anticipate this thing with Laura?
Laura was a wild girl.
Tell me about it.
Maybe.
Someday.
Take your hand out of your pocket, Mike.
- What is your problem, Leo?
- Problem?
You want to know abo... |
We'll get the cash, and everything will be square.
- Go out for a pass.
- What?
- Go out for a pass.
- OK, just...
- Run.
- Take it easy.
Run!
Run!
Damn it, I'm done, Bobby.
Let's get the hell out of here.
- Ed!
- Sorry, I didn't see it.
You stepped on my drape runner!
- It was in the middle of the floor.
- Think that... |
- The big, bad bobcat.
Are you crazy?
What are you doing here?
I just passed Leo out in North Bend.
- We've got at least twenty minutes.
- Where's your car?
Parked in the woods.
Open Sesame!
Somebody might see me out here, and that'd be worse.
Bobby, you cannot come by here like this.
We can't meet, for a while.
What ... |
- Anyone for a warm-up?
- Oh, yeah!
- You bet!
- Thanks, Lucy.
Damn good coffee!
And hot!
Would everyone please take a seat?
By way of explaining what we're about to do,
I am first gonna tell you a little bit about the country called...
Tibet.
An extremely spiritual country, the leader of Tibet is known as the Dalai La... |
- Ready?
- Ready.
James Hurley... secret boyfriend.
James Hurley.
Josie Packard... was instructed in English by Laura.
Josie Packard.
So there's no check next to either of these names?
That's correct.
Please continue.
Dr Lawrence Jacoby...
Laura's psychiatrist.
Dr Lawrence Jacoby.
You did it!
You hit it!
Lucy, make a... |
Coop...
Tell me...
The idea for all this really came from a dream?
Yes.
It did.
Jack with One Eye...
Maybe it's the letter 'i', but there's no 'i' in Jack.
I think it means he only had one eye.
Sounds like Nadine, Big Ed Hurley's wife.
No, there's a casino up north called One-Eyed Jacks, across the border in Canada.
W... |
Hi.
Hi, Donna.
So my parents said they saw you at church today.
I didn't see you.
I came by because of Laura.
What do you mean?
I didn't think you liked her.
There were things about Laura I didn't like, but she did take care of my brother Johnny.
I loved her for that.
Do you like coffee?
Yeah, with cream and sugar.
Ag... |
Albert Rosenfield.
R-o-s-e-n-f-i-e-l-d.
Sheriff, this is Lucy.
- Is Agent Cooper with you?
- Yes, he is.
Are Albert and his team here, Lucy?
- Yes, he is... they are.
- We're on our way.
- Agent Cooper will be right with you.
- I can hear perfectly well, Curly.
Albert and his team are cream of the crop.
Albert's a for... |
- That's good.
'Cause normally if a stranger walked into my station talking this crap, he'd be looking for his teeth two blocks up on Queer Street.
Good night, Ed!
- Ed, is that you?
- Yeah, honey, it's me.
- Ed!
- Oh, my God.
Oh, Ed, I'm so happy, sweetheart, I have to thank you.
Why's that?
You don't know what you 'v... |
Here's the key, the ledger's inside.
- Thank you.
- You betcha.
Didn't he ask for me?
Yeah, but we said you were on a world tour he should contact your press agent.
Get your boots off my bed and go to your room!
I didn't want to get mink oil on my bedspread.
You got mink oil in your head.
Two books.
Leland...
- Leland,... |
We lived above it.
I mean it like it is, like it sounds.
I, too, have been touched by the devilish one.
Tattoo on the left shoulder.
Oh, but when I saw the face of God,
I was changed.
I took the entire arm off.
My name is Mike.
His name is Bob.
Mike?
Mike, can you hear me?
"Catch you with my Death Bag."
You may think ... |
Two books...
When youleast expect it...
We have to dance, Sarah.
We have to dance...
For Laura.
Leland!
Leland!
Give it to me!
Harry?
It's Cooper.
Meet me for breakfast, 7:00 am, the hotel lobby.
I know who killed Laura Palmer.
Diane, 7:15 am.
I'll be heading for the Sheriff's after breakfast.
From there we'll be ... |
There is?
Youslipped this note underneath my door the night before last.
I did?
I wanted to help you.
For Laura.
Yousaid youand Laura weren't exactly friends.
We weren't friends, but I understood her better than the rest.
- What is "One-Eyed Jacks?"
- It's a place up north.
- Men go there.
- What about women?
Women..... |
It is an absolutely beautiful morning.
Griddlecakes, melted butter, maple syrup, lightly heated, slice of ham.
Nothing beats the taste sensation when maple syrup collides with ham.
Griddlecakes, slice of ham.
Who killed Laura Palmer?
Let me tell youabout the dream I had last night.
- Tibet?
- No.
Youwere there.
Lucy, ... |
I was old, sitting in a red room.
There was a midget in a red suit and a beautiful woman.
The midget told me that my favourite gum was coming back into style, and didn't his cousin look exactly like Laura Palmer, which she did.
- What cousin?
- The beautiful woman.
She's filled with secrets.
Sometimes her arms bend bac... |
I just ask youto get out, so I can finish my work!
We are here to conduct Laura Palmer's body to the cemetery.
If youthink we're gonna leave without her, youare crazy!
All right, all right, all right!
Mr Rosenfield, please.
Leland Palmer couldn't be with us today, but I know I speak for everyone, the Palmer family incl... |
Is that clear?
I've had just about enough of your insults.
Oh, yeah?
Well, I've had about enough of morons and half-wits, dolts, dunces, dullards and dumbbells.
And youchowderhead yokel, youblithering hayseed, you've had enough of me?
Yes, I have.
That's nice.
How appropriate.
Wait in the car, Harry.
The old rustic su... |
Jadr, what a surprisr.
Maddy?
Is it you?
Uncle Leland...
I am so sorry.
I'm sure Hank appreciates your unwavering devotion.
Your husband has been a model prisoner, an inspiration to guard and inmate alike.
He greets the day with a smile and confounds adversity with a kind word.
Hank's parole hearing is scheduled for t... |
We'd like to ask you a couple of questions.
So ask.
"Leo".
Is that short for "Leonard"?
That's a question?
- Did youknow Laura Palmer?
- No.
- How well did youknow her?
- I said I didn't.
You're lying.
I knew who she was, all right?
Everybody did.
- Do youhave a criminal record?
- Nothing.
Youcan look it up.
Illegal ... |
It's a filthy habit, especially for a varsity athlete.
I've attended my share of funerals.
Too many.
Any time a man dies in war, he dies too soon.
Laura died too soon as well.
Yeah, she did.
But we have a responsibility to the dead, Robert.
Responsibility is the linchpin of our society.
Each man responsible for his own... |
Keep trying.
He's out there somewhere.
If anyone can find him, Hawk can.
- He's a tracker?
- The best.
OK, Albert.
What have yougot?
Enough forensic spadework to save your butt and get mine out of this godforsaken burg.
What have yougot?
OK, first of all, contents of envelope found in Palmer diary: cocaine.
Toxicology ... |
Look, it's trying to think.
Finally, a small plastic fragment from her stomach, partially dissolved by digestive acids.
I'm taking it back for reconstruction, as the local facilities give new meaning to the word "primitive".
I note with some interest what appears to be the letter "J".
Good work, Albert.
A couple more d... |
Youbet.
This a new one?
Yes.
Isn't it beautiful?
How do I look?
- Well, youlook fine, Nadine.
- Oh, Ed!
Last night was wonderful.
Oh, my darling Ed, youcame back to me.
Now I feel like we're really together again.
In high school,
I used to watch Norma and you at those football games.
She was so pretty.
Youmade such a h... |
- Johnny doesn't know what day it is.
- We have to be patient, Ben.
Yoube patient.
I have waited 20 years for some sign of intelligent life.
I'm clear about this, Sylvia.
I have my limits.
Don't I know it?
Fine, let's all spray venom in my general direction.
- Youtake it with no problem.
- Taking it is a speciality of... |
I baptised Laura Palmer.
I instructed her in Sunday school.
And I, like the rest of you, came to love her with that special love that we reserve for the headstrong and the bold.
Laura was bright.
She was beautiful, she was charming.
But most of all Laura was, I think, impatient.
She was impatient for her life to begin,... |
Get off me!
Youare dead, man.
Dead!
Youare dead, man.
God...
Dead!
Get off me!
Ah, my baby.
Laura!
Laura!
Laura!
Lee, hang on.
The whole thing has gone haywire.
Don't ruin this, too!
My baby!
Laura!
Laura!
Here's the father and this is his daughter in the coffin.
I'm telling you, Harry, he's just not gonna figure ... |
Norma, slice of huckleberry pie, heated.
- Vanilla ice cream, coffee.
- Coming right up.
Big Ed, how long have youbeen in love with Norma?
Ed, looks like pie and coffee's on you.
What did youcall me in for besides the highlights of the menu?
You'd better tell him.
Somebody's running drugs into Twin Peaks from across th... |
- I'm with you.
- Twin Peaks is different.
A long way from the world.
You've noticed that.
- Yes, I have.
- That's exactly the way we like it.
But there's a back end to that that's kind of different, too.
Maybe that's the price we pay for the good things.
- What would that be?
- There's a sort of evil out there.
Someth... |
Cooper, youknow James.
- Agent Cooper.
- James.
- This is Joey Paulson.
- Joey.
- Who's this?
- Bernard Renault, Jacques' brother.
Janitor at the Roadhouse.
Bernard came across the border this morning with an ounce of cocaine.
Thought we'd ask him a few questions.
- Did yousell drugs to Laura Palmer?
- I don't sell dru... |
Why in the world would youtell us where and when to find him?
- Yeah?
- Leo, it's Jacques.
- What's up?
- The light.
The bust light's on.
- Bernard's in trouble.
- Yousure?
I saw it, man.
Yougotta get me out of here, Leo.
Border run.
- Where are you?
- Phone booth by the Cash Carry.
- And I don't like waiting, man.... |
- Who?
Who wants to hurt you?
Catherine.
Catherine and Benjamin Horne.
What makes youthink so?
I heard Catherine on the phone saying I'd never suspect.
Just like with Andrew's death.
- Andrew's death was an accident.
- Was it?
Catherine keeps the mill account books in her safe.
Two books, different numbers.
Andrew bui... |
I'm a terrible person, Agent Cooper.
I pretend that I'm not.
But I am.
Oh, I sit and listen to their problems.
Day after day.
These people think of me as their friend.
Truth is, I really don't care.
I thought nothing, no one could ever reach me again.
Laura changed all that.
I couldn't come today.
I just couldn't.
I ho... |
Dream souls...
- Where do they wander?
- Faraway places.
The Land of the Dead.
Is that where Laura is?
Laura is in the ground, Agent Cooper.
That's the only thing I'm sure of.
To Laura.
Godspeed.
- Will youdance with me?
- Sorry.
Please?
Dance with me?
Please?
- Dance with me.
- Leave us alone.
Dance with me, please.
... |
"IT'S A DUCK BLUR"
"MIGHT SOLVE A MYSTERY"
"OR REWRITE HISTORY"
"DUCK TALES"
"OOH OOH OOH"
"EVERY DAY THEY'RE OUT THERE MAKING DUCK TALES"
"OOH OOH OOH"
"TALES OF DERRING-DO"
"BAD AND GOOD LUCK TALES"
"D-D-D-DANGER"
"WATCH BEHIND YOU"
"THERE'S A STRANGER OUT TO FIND YOU"
"WHAT TO DO?
JUST GRAB ONTO SOME DUCK TALES"
"O... |
HERE AT LAST!
I HAVE A MAP THAT WILL LEAD ME RIGHT TO IT.
SO?
SO, APHRODUCKY WAS REVERED AS THE GODDESS OF LOVE.
AND LEGEND HAS IT THAT HER TEMPLE CONTAINS
THE GREATEST TREASURE OF ALL.
CAN WE COME?
PLEASE, HUH?
NO!
THIS TIME YOU ARE STAYING HOME.
THIS TRIP IS TOO DANGEROUS.
NOW BE GOOD.
WE'LL VISIT WHEN I GET BACK WI... |
AND YOU'RE AN EXPERT ON BOTH.
NOW GO FIND ME THAT TREASURE.
IT'S SO HARD TO GET GOOD HELP,
ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU DON'T WANT TO PAY FOR IT.
Ouch!
OK!
COME OUT NICE AND SLOW, YOU STOWAWAYS!
DON'T SHOOT, UNCLE SCROOGE.
DID I NOT TELL YOU THIS TRIP WAS DANGEROUS?
WE LAUGH IN THE FACE OF DANGER.
OH?
LET'S SEE YOU LAUGH IN T... |
HELLO, APHRODUCKY.
WHERE HAVE YOU HIDDEN THIS TREASURE OF YOURS?
LOOK.
IT'S CUPID.
ISN'T HE CUTE?
SAY CHEESE.
CHEESE.
WHAT'S THIS?
HEY, IT'S GREEK TO ME.
SOMEBODY HAD TO SAY IT.
OUT OF MY WAY.
AH, THE GREATEST TREASURE!
QUICK!
OPEN IT, LADS.
IT'S EMPTY!
EXCEPT FOR THAT.
WHAT'S PILIOS?
IT MEANS LOVE.
LOVE?
THE GREATE... |
SAVE THE KIDS.
HEY, FISH FACE!
OVER HERE!
I'M GONNA HATE THIS!
YAAAA!
WHOA!
WHOA!
HEY, STOP!
WE'VE GOTTA HELP HIM!
FOLLOW ME AND STAY LOW.
YEOOOW!
YUK!
NOW!
LAUNCHPAD!
SAY SOMETHING!
BABY!
BABY?
- BABY?
BABY?
HI, WHAT'S YOUR SIGN?
NO, NO, LET ME GUESS.
PISCES?
I'M AN ARIES.
ARIES?
YOU MEAN AIRHEAD.
HANG ON TO THIS... |
I THINK HIS MIND HAD A MELTDOWN.
THAT'S NEVER STOPPED HIM BEFORE.
YEAH, BUT HE'S NEVER TRIED TO KISS A TWO-TON FEEDING MACHINE, EITHER.
LAUNCHPAD STARTED ACTING WEIRD
AFTER HE GOT JABBED BY ONE OF THOSE.
YOU DON'T THINK...
THOSE REALLY ARE CUPID'S ARROWS.
AH, GREETING-CARD GARBAGE.
BUT THAT WAS THE TEMPLE OF APHRODUCKY... |
I HAD TO MARRY THAT HOTHEAD!
WHAT!
MY MAGIC LAMP'S LIT!
THAT MEANS SOMEONE'S IN MY TEMPLE.
BETTER TAKE A LOOK WITH MY MAGIC MONITOR.
YOU OVERGROWN MACKEREL!
YOU'VE RUINED MY RUINS!
AH!
THAT'S CUPID'S QUIVER.
VULCAN MUST HAVE HIDDEN THE ARROWS IN OWN TEMPLE.
ONLY THEY'RE NOT THERE NOW.
I'LL REWIND BACK THROUGH TIME TO... |
[ KNOCKING ]
NOW WHAT?
LOOK!
WHO ARE YOU?
!
WHY, SILLY PERSON, I'M APHRODUCKY.
APHRODUCKY?
!
APHRODUCKY?
!
YES.
I'M IN A BIT OF A RUSH
SO DON'T BOTHER TO GROVEL.
JUST GIVE ME BACK MY ARROWS.
YOUR ARROWS?
YES, I USE THEM TO SPREAD LOVE AND JOY THROUGHOUT THE WORLD.
THANKS, BUT WE'VE GOT ALL THE LOVE AND JOY WE CAN STAN... |
LEAVE MY UNCLE SCROOGE ALONE!
UNCLE SCROOGE!
ARE YOU OK?
AH!
THE ARROWS!
HE'S FINE.
YOU'VE RUINED MY MONEY BIN.
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?
DARLING!
DARLING?
THERE.
IS THAT COMFY, SUGAR PLUM?
NO!
IT IS NOT COMFY.
AND I AM NOT YOUR SUGAR PLUM!
LOOK!
I'VE HUMORED YOU LONG ENOUGH.
LEAVE ME ALONE!
BUT, DUMP... |
AND MAKE SURE THE NEXT PERSON SHE SEES IS HERSELF.
SCROOGEY-WOOGEY.
WHERE ARE YOU?
OK, WHEN THE DOOR OPENS
WE DROP THE TAPESTRY
AND MAKE POINTS WITH APHRODUCKY.
SHHH.
I HEAR FOOTSTEPS.
OOOH!
OOOH!
UH-OH.
THAT DIDN'T SOUND LIKE APHRODUCKY TO ME.
YOU CALLED?
UNCLE SCROOGE!
YAAAA!
SWEETHEART!
SWEETHEART?
!
EXTRA!
EXTR... |
AND HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT US.
WELL, I STILL CARE ABOUT HIM.
UNCLE SCROOGE!
UNCLE SCROOGE!
HUH?
I WAS GONNA GIVE THIS TO YOU TOMORROW ON VALENTINE'S DAY,
BUT I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE IT NOW.
A VALENTINE CUPCAKE?
LOVELY.
YOU LIKE IT?
YES.
ENOUGH TO GIVE IT TO MY DEAREST APHRODUCKY.
OH, HOW...
SWEET.
UNCLE SCROOGE!
THA... |
!
WELL, THIS IS ME SAYING GOODBYE.
ARE YOU RUNNING AWAY FROM HOME TOO?
DON'T TRY TO TALK ME OUT OF IT.
I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT IT.
THE SHARK AGAIN?
I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING BUT MY FINNY LITTLE VALENTINE.
SO I'M GOING BACK TO OFFER HER MY HAND.
SHE'LL TAKE YOUR HAND
AND THE ARM THAT GOES WITH IT.
BUT IF YOU LIVE UNDERWATE... |
AA-AAA-AACHOO!
UH-OH.
SOUNDS LIKE SHE'S GOT CASHITITIS.
CASHA-WHAT'S IT?
IT MEANS YOU'RE ALLERGIC TO MONEY.
FIRST YOU START SNEEZING...
AACHOOO!
THEN YOUR SKIN TURNS GREEN.
AAAAH!
AND THEN YOUR FEATHERS FALL OUT.
YAAA!
GIVE IT AWAY, SCROOGEY.
ALL YOUR MONEY IS MAKING ME SICK.
BU-BU-BUT, MY MONEY?
OH NO!
IT WAS AWFUL, ... |
WELL, THAT'S EASY TO ANSWER.
APHRODUCKY, MY GODDESS OF LOVE.
WHAT?
!
WHAT?
!
AH, SCROOGEY POO.
AFTER ALL, WHAT GOOD IS MONEY
WITHOUT MY HONEY?
SO I'M GOING TO MARRY HER.
OVER YOUR DEAD BODY, BUDDY!
WHICH WAY IS DUCKBURG?
THANKS.
WHEN WILL YOU RETURN, SIR?
OH, NEVER.
HEH HEH HEH HEH.
I'M OFF TO SPEND THE REST OF ETERNI... |
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
AS MUCH AS WE LOVE YOU, WE CAN'T GO.
BYE, UNCLE SCROOGE.
GOODBYE?
YES, THAT'S RIGHT.
SAY GOODBYE TO THE LITTLE MORTAL PERSONS.
BUT THEY LOVE ME.
HEY, WE'VE GOT A PLANE TO CATCH.
WHATTA YOU THINK THIS IS?
IT'S BAR-B-QUE TIME!
VULCAN!
AH, LIVE LONG AND PROSPER.
AND I LOVE THEM,
AND THEN AGAIN, I ALS... |
YO-HO.
OVER HERE.
COME AND GET ME.
SAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, DEAD DUCK!
YAAAA!
TALK ABOUT LEAVING AN IMPRESSION.
UNCLE SCROOGE!
NOW I'M REALLY ANGRY!
DON'T YOU TOUCH MY SCROOGEY!
COME ON.
WE'RE GONNA SETTLE THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL.
OH, NO!
SHE'S STILL STUCK ON UNCLE SCROOGE.
WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT!
LOOK, VUL.
I LOVE SCROO... |
♪ You're not by my side [ indistinct talking ]
She's ready to...
Right?
Man:
I'm...
I remember my dad used to say,
"you have three strikes against you in this world.
"Every black man has two...
"that they're just black, and they're a male.
You're gonna have a hard [Bleep] time."
And he said, "if you're gonna do this,... |
I just rule it now...
With a soft glove.
And it's important to me to be the mother, 'cause there's so many little kids that I have to look out for.
Although they don't listen to me, and they buck my authority,
I still think I rule it pretty well.
They like me.
I'm one of the more popular ones, and I've been around for ... |
I'd always see the way that rich people lived.
And I'd feel it more, you know... it would slap me in the face.
I'd say, "I'd have to have that."
Because I never felt comfortable being poor.
Or even middle class doesn't suit me.
Seeing the riches, seeing the way people on "dynasty" lived...
And I would think,
"these peo... |
They don't have a home to go to.
But they'll go out, and they'll steal something and get dressed up and come to a ball for that one night and live the fantasy.
[ Up-tempo dance music plays ]
Man:
A ball is the very word... whatever you want to be, you be.
So at a ball, you have a chance to display your arrogance, your ... |
That's... you know, it feels good to them.
An Oscar.
A Oscar, right.
It's the same thing.
You know?
Become a legend...
you have an Oscar.
It's the same thing.
Man:
I don't really consider myself a real legend.
I...
I've been at the balls with the legendary children, and I've stamped myself with the legendary children... |
Statement... future legend.
Kim and me have...
we've been together... and it's more or less me,
I'm the one that's Kim's protége, because I go with Kim to the balls, help him out, help him iron.
'Cause if I don't go to a ball with him and iron,
I mean, he'll be here wrinkled.
Or he'd be there ironing.
But, you know, it... |
In a sense, so am I.
But a very much different quantity.
No magazine's gonna run up to cover me if I go to a premier.
But it's still a fame.
It's a small fame.
But you absorb, and you take it.
And you like it.
You like the adulation, the applause...
The people cheering you on...
The winning.
It's like, uh, a physical h... |
Everyone couldn't be a Las Vegas show girl.
Everyone couldn't put on a stack of feathers and a big headpiece.
So they made the categories where everybody... that's what really made the balls change.
So there was more involvement.
Everyone that goes to one of these affairs now damn near participates.
Eventually, over th... |
Do she look like a girl going to school?
Town and country.
Exclusively done.
Dupree!
Dupree!
Dupree!
...get into their suits.
I said, the well-dressed men of the '80s, get into the suits and get into the pumps.
Corey:
In real life, you can't get a job as an executive unless you have the educational background and th... |
Trim!
Model!
The category is...
You know what I mean!
You know what Paris means.
Exactly!
Butch queen!
Butch queen.
Butch queen!
[ Crowd cheering ]
Butch queen.
Butch!
First time in drag at a ball...
that's what I wanted for me.
[ "The star-spangled banner playing ]
Man:
The military scene is a basic scene.
It doesn't... |
I've been to several balls, and they've actually had categories...
"dynasty"... you know, want you to look like Alexis or Krystle.
And I guess that's just, um, a statement of the times.
When I grew up, you wanted to look like Marlene Dietrich,
Betty grable.
Fortunately, I didn't know that I really wanted to look like L... |
Looking like the boy that probably robbed you a few minutes before you came to Paris' ball.
Corey:
The idea of realness is to look as much as possible like your straight counterpart.
Shake the dice and steal the rice!
Right here.
Come on, baby.
[ Crowd cheers ]
Yes, daddy.
I got my food stamps and card waiting.
All ri... |
One that say, "you know, like, um, hey.
I saw a bunch of those things walking down the street."
Corey:
It's really a case of going back into the closet.
10!
10!
10!
10!
Are there any more?
Okay, girls, have we come to a decision?
Man:
They give the society that they live in
Rather than have to go through prejudices... |
"How could you have breasts bigger than mine?
"You're growing nails.
"You're becoming a woman right before my very eyes.
"I can't hold my head up.
And she still loved me, but the nagging and the... oh, my God, about this women's clothes.
And when I had women's clothes stashed in my closet and she found them, she would ... |
When someone has rejection from their mother and father, their family, they... when they get out in the world, they search.
They search for someone to fill that void.
I know this for experience, because I've had kids come to me and latch hold to me like I'm their mother or like I'm their father.
'Cause they can talk to... |
She's gone.
Where's your father?
He's gone, too.
So who you live with?
With a friend.
And you too?
I live with my mother in the Bronx.
And y'all just hanging out like this at...
Just hanging out.
Right there inside.
they come from such sad backgrounds, you know - broken homes or no home at all.
And then the few that do... |
The people that the houses are named after were ball walkers who became known for winning.
Emcee:
Work...
Paris...
Dupree.
Corey:
After the first few houses were started and named after people who had won trophies, they also would create houses.
Like, a new group of kids would just create a house, then they'd work a... |
And that kind of sunk into my head.
And I guess that's why it kind of made me want to even do it more.
They treat each other like sisters, mm-hmm.
Sisters...
Or brothers...
Or mothers or...
You know, like, I say, "oh, that's my sister,"
because she's gay, too, and I'm gay, and she's a drag queen or whatever.
Man:
My m... |
♪ My mommy is a drag queen, look, I say ♪
Emcee:
From the house of xtravaganza, for "mother of the year,"
keeping her children intact, can we have Angie xtravaganza?
[ Cheers and applause ]
Work for us, girl.
Work that runway.
This is from Andre Christian, girl.
Man:
My birthday will come, and I always get a birthday ... |
We come out to assassinate.
The house of Labeija is the legendary house above all of them.
I have the most members, I'm the most popular.
New York City is wrapped up in being Labeija.
So...
It speaks for itself.
And I am the fiercest mother out of all of them.
[ Chuckles ] Labeija?
I wouldn't be caught dead in that ho... |
"I'll walk when I want, not when you want.
I'll walk when I want."
And so far, I don't know when I'm gonna walk.
I'm thinking somewhat around the time of the legends ball.
But don't quote me on that.
I mean, it really causes hate, actually, between two individuals.
It's like a war on the floor.
Like world war III.
[ La... |
They're throwing shade at him.
I can't believe it.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute, now.
Let's not get loud.
Now, David.
David.
David.
That's the one thing that I find faulty with the balls.
After they've laid down these little categories, then they try to become a stickler for exact interpr... |
What is wrong with you, Pedro?
Are you going through it?
You're going through some kind of psychological change in your life?
She went back to be a man.
Oh, you went back to being a man.
Touch this skin, darling.
Touch this skin, honey.
Touch all of this skin.
Okay?
You just can't take it.
You're just an overgrown oran... |
That's just a fact.
So then we talk about your ridiculous shape.
Your fa... saggy face.
Your tacky clothes.
Let me see what you are...
spreading lies!
Let's see.
Oh!
No paint!
Yes, it's paint!
It's paint!
No mother[Bleep] paint, girl!
What?
She wears more makeup than my mother did!
Then reading became a developed for... |
Vogue.
Dip.
Go...
Turn...
It...
Out.
Ninja:
Voguing came from shade because it was a dance that two people did because they didn't like each other.
Instead of fighting, you would dance it out on the dance floor.
And whoever did the better moves was throwing the best shade, basically.
Emcee:
No touching.
Neither one ... |
Don't knock Paris.
[ Laughs ]
[ Hip-hop music plays ]
Come on, baby, take your time.
Bring it to the judges.
Judges, get into the form and the style.
Work.
Let's hear it for her.
Ninja:
The name was taken from the magazine "vogue,"
because some of the movements of the dance are also the same as the poses inside the ma... |
Work!
Work!
Work!
Work!
Work!
the dance takes from the hieroglyphics of ancient Egypt.
It also takes from some forms of gymnastics.
They both strive for perfect lines in the body, awkward positions, but it goes one step further.
It's starting to make a name for itself, but I want it to be known worldwide, and I want... |
We'd all have to go.
I'd want to charter a plane, and we all fly to Paris.
[ Orchestral music plays ]
O-p-u-l-e-n-c-e... opulence.
[ Laughter ]
You own everything.
Everything is yours.
This is white America.
Any other nationality that is not of the white set knows this and accepts this till the day they die.
That is ev... |
Of course, I do want the money because I want the luxury that goes with it.
But...
I want to be wealthy.
If not wealthy, content, comfortable...
You know?
I want to be somebody.
I mean, I am somebody.
I just want to be a rich somebody. [ Laughs ]
Emcee:
You ain't gonna tell me, you see her in the supermarket, and you'... |
"Watch this, I'm here..." "Oh, dear." "Bang."
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
This way.
Finally, I made it to to the Buddha's car park.
Victory is mine!
But that wasn't the finishing line.
Go where?
Where?
Run!
Come on, go, go, go!
Just leave it, leave it, leave it!
That's not a temple.
We were now converging on th... |
Oh, yeah.
Congratulations.
How long have you been here?
Really not long.
Genuinely?
Honestly?
Three minutes 12 seconds.
That is so close.
Thanks, Buddha.
You looked after him.
Disappointed!
Wait for it.
TRANSLATOR SPEAKS JAPANESE Which is?
That's the Japanese...
For? "Oh, cock!"
Now, look, we do arrange those races ... |
- It should be just ahead.
It?
Let's move.
They haven't a clue what they're about to encounter.
Thermographic studies indicate the presence of an advanced life form.
Stay close.
- Hey.
- You bitch.
It's a haunted place.
Get her!
Get down.
Got her.
Shh shh, keep it quiet.
Keep it quiet.
Shut her up.
- Quiet.
- Shut th... |
This thing gets loose... it's game over.
I know just the place.
And that's Phase One.
Thus begins Phase Two.
Well, it's early, Deborah, but everything seems just fine.
For the morning sickness.
- What is this?
- Reficul makes giving birth as easy as getting pregnant.
Oh, no.
You know how I feel about the whole pharmace... |
Frank Sanders's ex-wife Helen Green has found herself in a maze so intricate she couldn't find her ass with both hands.
Patience.
I know.
Hello.
No, she can't come to the phone.
We're in the middle of a birthday party.
Leave a message.
I'll be sure she gets it.
Okay, hang on.
Coldwater Cafe, right?
Wednesday, 10:00.... |
Thinking herself to be a budding journalist, she goes about her business blissfully unaware that she is but a carefully supervised prototype.
But the programming is wearing off along with the rose-colored glasses.
I will scoop her up in a butterfly net.
Help me!
Help!
Somebody help!
The boy was next in line.
Help me! ... |
Mm, one of my sources is this woman from Phoenix Pharmaceuticals.
I think we really hit it off.
Yes, Mommy, I'm fine.
The baby is fine.
The F.D.A. Is corrupt.
Everything is where it should be.
All right, Mom, I gotta go.
I gotta go, Mommy.
Okay, I'll talk to you later.
Kisses.
Bye.
Speak of the devil.
Dr. Logan?
Momm... |
Mm, bad.
Oh, is this your girl?
You could say that.
I could say whatever I want.
Mm, yeah.
This better be good.
All right, I'll be right there.
I gotta go.
- Go?
- Yes.
Oh, give me a spankie for the road.
One more.
Gosh, you're so hot.
It wasn't my call.
- Hey, Alex.
- What's up?
The call came in around 5:00.
5:00?
I ... |
Bullshit.
That looks like a bunch of gang graffiti if you ask me.
Wrong.
When are you gonna let go of that conspiracy crap, huh, Russo?
About the time you wipe that frosting off your chin.
Hey, Professor Colbert, got a minute?
Oh, no.
No no no, not so fast.
Something's rotten at Edgewater, Professor.
Deborah, don't go... |
- or polio.
- Wow.
I took you for a serious journalist, and here you are with all this Area 51 crap.
Creative Writing's on the third floor.
I'm late for a lecture unless you have something else.
Yeah.
And Reficul is?
A replacement for spinal epidurals during childbirth.
- A maternity drug?
- Mm-hmm.
Why would Edgewate... |
So I'm gonna give you a break, you mutt.
I'm gonna give you a break.
I'm gonna let it go in through your skin.
Your skin's as smooth as a baby's ass.
There you go.
Yeah.
That's right.
You are really something.
You are the heir apparent, aren't you?
But you're not.
You're the stepbrother.
We're gonna take your daddy a... |
Can we get to the point, please?
More lessons on the Ancient Hebrew.
Another child missing, I presume?
You know, it took me weeks to find out what this ancient text really meant.
I doubt if there are 10 souls on earth who would know those symbols.
The text is from the Chiseled Tomb of the Nephilim... angels gone bad, a... |
Don't speak.
I'm back.
Gordian Labs stands at the forefront of pharmaceutical innovation.
With our I.P.O. Going public tomorrow, coupled with Reficul's F.D.A. Approval in less than two weeks our wonder drug will hit the marketplace between New York and Beijing.
Our investors reap the benefits of 20 years' worth of Gord... |
You know, I told your mother and father
I would take great care of you, Deborah.
Oh, good.
I'm sorry, how did you get in here?
Oh, you left the door unlocked.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Wow.
Okay,
I don't mean to rush you off, but I've really got to get some stuff done.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Okay, all right.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye.
- ... |
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