Split (1)

train · 64k rows

text stringlengths 21 20.4k
alright. this is yours. how about one for grandma? here's one for grandma. and one for grandma. here Steve. [she gives him forks] put one fork in each. one fork for da mommy. one fork for grandma, and one fork for me and one fork for daddy. and here are the knives. I'll get a knife. [puts knives on table next to the forks on right of plate] one knife, for mommy, and one knife for grandma, one knife for me, and one knife for daddy. okay. now, what else do oh boy, and then I'm gonna start off with me. okay. and mom, do... [she cuts in] yes dear? do we, do we need any other things? I don't think so. just knives and forks for the time being here. that one goes oh, on your side. Steve, lets try moving it over a little bit so that this one, will have more room, see, and then you have room on, that side. [moves the places around the table] here, one more napkin. and put a few extras in the center of the table, in case ah, you need a few extras. and maybe somebody else. [puts extra napkins in center of table, and pushes them, just out of his reach]
yeah. mom when ya here it is it's in the center. alright. now should, I set up anything else? how about some glasses? yeah. I, I want a big... put those little short ones... one. well I only have three big ones and one short one. [she gives him glasses] oh alright, I have two short ones. alright, put one down, whenever you wanna put it. two short ones? you wanna short one? I think the short ones are easier for you to hold, Steve. oh. that's fine. is this yours? anyone. daddy's or mine or grandma's, it doesn't make a difference. daddy didn't get one so I hafta give this one to daddy. okay, we need one more, one more ah... one more, here's one more. that one is for you. this... okay. that's who missed it, you. what are you putting your hands in? [Steve tries to wipe water out of the wet glass with his, hands]
it's so I can get the water out. I think I'll dry it off, I think I'll rinse it again. [she washes glass again] then go wash your hands. you think that's a good idea? I don't wanna wash my hands. you hafta. you can't eat with out washing. because we washed them when... [Missus cut in] well that's okay, that's okay. I don't wanna wash my hands. Steven before we sit down at the table at the table we wash our hands... I don't... I'm washing mine, daddy's washing his. [Missus leads Steve to the bath+room] after me comes you. mommy careful with this hand 'cause it hurts. alright I'll do it I'm not going up so far. [she washes his hands] okay, we're just moving it up to there, here, alright. mom will ya open the light? alright. so I can see what I'm doing. alright. don't make it well don't wash my face. not even a small rinse? that's right. mom how come you have wet hands? what?
how come you have wet hands? I washed yours, and so mine are wet too, they were also in the soap and water. I have a great idea. go in and see daddy a minute. I have a great idea. what's your great idea? you, you, you dry your hands now, I use this bathroom and and you use the kitchen to wash your hands. mine are washed all ready. [Steve goes into living room where his father is watching, tv Steve climbs onto his knee] I washed them together with yours. I ran in by daddy, Steve, for a few minutes. you can have a little conversation with him. am I heavy? are you heavy? yes. I guess so. you're getting big aren't you? know who I saw? Adam. who's Adam? the Adam that invited to a birthday. the Adam that what? invited me to his party. I don't know him do I? yes. I know him? yes you do, you know what my mommy told you. she said Steven's going to Adam's birthday. yeah but where does Adam live? oh, Adam 'll tell us.
but I don't know Adam, do I? yes you do. the Adam... you don't know but I do. well I said, I don't know him. I do. [Steve watches tv as he talks to his father] I don't know any of your friend, well I do know a couple. I know Felicia and Lisa. one, two, four, after one comes four. why? what happened to two and three, they went to sleep? no. so how could you say one and then four? well after, four comes six, seven... no, you're being silly. and one... what comes after four? two, three, four, five. right. well this one well I don't wanna do to with this one. [counts on his fingers] I don't wanna count five, one. one, two, three, four, five, six. no, one, one, two, three, four. one, two, three, four, how come I just have four fingers now? you must have hidden one. I tried the thumbs. [whispers. Steve slips off his father's knee. father still watching, tv stands up faces his father and climbs back on his knee, still facing him] I can count xxx one, two, three, four, five.
one, two, four. five. now I hafta count one, two, four, five, 'cause I forgot the thumbs away. two, four, five. one, two, three, four, five. two, four, five. after one comes two and after two comes four and after four comes five, and after five comes six, and after seven comes eight, and after nine comes ten, and after that comes eleven. how much is thirty nine, how much is thirty nine o'clock? how much is... there's no such thing as thirty nine o'clock. yeah. I never heard of anything like that. oh, oh, ah, ah, ah. thirty nine o'clock, isn't why don't you take your shoes off, you're gonna fall over your laces anyway. take that off and put on your slippers. after I go in my room to turn my t... [Steve whispers inaudibly Steve sits on the floor a couple, of feet from his father's chair and takes off his shoes. then sits on father's knees again. mister picks up a shoe, and unties the lace] magic xxx it's like you're wearing socks so I wanna... I can run around with my socks. I don't feel cold. Steve! [mr comes out of bed+room. stands at kitchen door] what? wanna give grandma a call, see what's keeping her? ye, you, you... I'll dial and you you talk to her on the phone, okay? I never had a turn to dial. do can read the numbers? no. okay, so I'll dial and you talk.
you're good at talking. see if there's an answer. maybe she's not home. if there's no answer she must be on her way up. [Steve walks into living room with phone] Steve where are you going with the wire? come back. 'cause I wanna stay next to daddy. um, that must be grandma. that's must be grandma coming to the door now. okay Steve, bring back the phone. after she answer. she's not gonna answer Steve. it's not grandma but ah... hello? Steven. fine. well, well, what's keeping you so long? know what I'm doing? setting up the table, I set it up all ready. okay, here's the telephone. she answered, she said hang up. mom? [he gives the phone back] what she say? she said she's dropped all the dishes. oh you're kidding? she dropped all the dishes? isn't that terrible. with all the food?
nah. alright, alright, good thing you didn't fall down in the hall. the dishes didn't break. [Steve sits on father's knee again] they didn't? it they did... how do you know, you didn't ask if they broke did you? bye bye. mom! ask her if the dishes broke! I don't know, she said the roast beef fell down. the roast beef fell down. the roast beef fell down, Steve. oh boy. do you think the roast beef got hurt? roast beef, no food gets hurt. [father rubs Steve's shoulders] what's the matter, you don't wanna be like a football player? you wanna rubdown like a football player gets? no. no? I wanna play football dad. you want the rub down like they get? well I wanna play football. now you're not gonna play football. well I'm gonna play tackle. no. when the football season comes on. there's no more football now. even they rest.
I know how they get on tv. how do they get on tv? a special way. how? Graeme, you must think I never cook. no. you just been here three evenings. I'm a great cook, really, and three evenings my mother in-law has made supper, hahaha. oh no. it's been a good week, huh? terrific. they, they, they, know how? it's attached to the coop. hafta go in a special room and then you're on tv I'm gonna be on tv af, after... you know I forgot to ask you that same silly question I ask you every night. what? what did you do in school today. Steve? I'll tell you. oh Willem zonked him one, Jackie. Willem hit me. why? he... yeah I came up, he was crying. you were a bad boy? no, I, didn't do anything. well why did he hit... and know what? I was telling Lisa to hit him with the cast. I thought Lisa isn't your friend?
she hasta be now. 'cause I want her to hit Willem. at least whatever they're going to get out of this will be good for a few chuckles. oh well, now you can't take care of yourself any more? huh? 'cause I'm not too strong to hit back. well I don't want you to fight at all, but why did Willem hit you? no reason. oh don't tell me no reason. [Steve buries his head in his father's lap] why do you hit Robbie? he tries to hurt me. no he doesn't try to do anything to you, you tell me you just go over and hurt him. now get your face out of my, my shirt please. everybody get up you're all on my knitting. I'm not on your knitting. yes you are. no I'm not. you're not, that's what I said. [picks up her knitting which no one was sitting on] that's what I said. so you were crying? yeah. why, it hurt you? yeah, but the next time, Willem'll get hurt from Matthew, this time. Willem any body can hurt, even me. don't you want Willem to be your friend? no more 'cause he hit me. so what? you hit people too, and then sometimes they come back and still play with you.
okay, thank you. [this is Steven Lastname at dinner with his mother, father, and grandmother] [dinner time] did you tell your daddy how you set the table for him? he put tell him what he did. I put down all the nah... who? Steven yeah I can tell the way the napkins are folded. Steven set this table. see? right? you set the table and everyone got what, a what, a what did everyone get? they got knives and forks that are crooked. do I sit like this and eat? or do I, sit this way? ah, he made a very good job. he worked so hard. for him it's perfect. see? here's a glove here. okay. you leaving? yeah, I'll see you in about forty five minutes. goodbye Graeme. [Graeme leaves] it's staying on? bye, yeah the tape is going to be running. fine. no that's my glove. you sure?
yeah. oh, yeah. oh, okay. see you in a while. alright, okay. daddy here's the cheese. Ma, you're going to have chicken too aren't you? yeah, yes I am. I don't know if I wanna give you any. ha a ha a haha. Steven he's a nice man isn't he? yeah. you like him? yeah. see? now tell daddy what you did here today. you helped me serve. it's alright. [refering to the recorder] it's on already. listen, Steven, did you tell your you know what we did today? he watched his television. what's the name of the program you watched Steve? I don't wanna tell you. ah ah. come on. that's a good program. I said I don't wanna tell you. I know that program too. [father cuts in]
I useta watch it. what show? I don't wanna tell ya. oh. no I don't wanna tell you what kind of show. why? I don't. you're sposta tell your daddy what you're doing all day long. come on. come on. Ma don't ham it up so much, just leave it alone. just, just alright forget about it. that's not mine! oh I'm sorry. you're right. haha a ha. yeah that's not yours. excuse me. Ma I don't know what you oh wait, wait here's another piece. there's cheese over there if you want. Steve do you want a meatball? mhm. that's a giant. yeah? uhuh. meatball? that's always giant. I'll hit you, I'll... [the mother interrupts] Steve do you want a piece of chicken too?
or you just want meatball and spaghetti. I want meatball and misghetti. [the father interrupts Steve as he trys to mock him, but, Steve continues] just meatball and... just meatball and spaghetti. ha. okay. alright. just meatball and misghetti. meatball and misghetti. meatball... how do the big people say it? meatball. no, not a meatball. I'm talking about pisghetti. how do the big people say it? oh boy, oh boy xxx, Steve it's hot let it cool. spasghetti. spasghetti or spaghetti? spasghetti. spaghetti. Spaghettio. that's right. Spaghettio. ah, oh... haha. oh, Spaghettio. ha ahhah a ha. ah oh Spaghettio. alright I think I lost the fork here.
there's one right here, there's an extra one here? an extra setting. oh, can I have it? mommy, I'm cutting mine. okay, just be careful with the knife. [the mother is referring to the fork she misplaced] oh mine fell into the chicken. there it is. one of these days you'll find a what a do a you a call a a roasted fork. yeah. ah, oh spasghettio you had chickidy duppidy do a do a do. [Steve rattles off some nonsense] a do a do a do. Jackie there's sweet potatoes too. [ and are simultaneous] now, I can I'm all done with spaghetti. you've had it? we can hold the sweet potatoes for tomorrow night if you want. yeah. you're right take them out so they won't get too well done. ya a o a padudio. [again Steve speaks nonsense] Steve you want a piece of sausage? no! I don't want any. Jackie you want a little piece of sausage? why not? it's the same price. yeah. no, not me.
I'll have Steven's sausage. no I don't any! well, I'll have the piece mommy wanted you to have. that's all. that's good. yeah, thank you. good for you, but but don't like it. for some people have their own taste. I just burned my thumb. why don't you be a little carefuler? [blows] whew! careful. Steve how about sitting down with your feet in front of you? I think it'll be easier to eat that way. no? uhuh. is it good? oo. I need another napkin! [Steve is drinking and eating, making his speech inaudible] I thought you set the table if you set the table here's your... come on Steve sit the right way. come on Steve. really. Steve please put your feet down in front of you. uhuh. I don't wanna. I wanna be higher. Steven!
so you know what I'll do? wait, sit down I'll put you on a um... what? stool. no, I'll sit you on a, a phone book. no? you don't want a phone book? where's my phone book? yeah, ah ah oh spasghettio. aren't you comfortable the way you are? here sit up. sitting on the chair? now you hafta get off first Steven and then you'll sit down. here, okay. I don't like it. no, Steven that's not the way you get on a chair. how do you sit on a chair? that's the way. I think that's very stupid. what's... why, he wants to be higher. you'll see. again my fork vanished. ha a ha you left it in the thing there. you probably left it in the thing. no, I left it outside. is it good? yeah. yes. did you put cheese?
I bet you didn't see cheese. [mother cuts in] mommy I'm even bigger than Matthew. yeah? a, snowball. mhm. good. I don't taste any spice at all in this piece of chicken. really! is it good Jackie? yeah! no, it absorbs in the ah... cooking. this is Liz's xxx this is Liz's recipe. I honestly don't taste any spices in it. there is no my love. that's all you had there, there's no more? sure there is. ah, oh spasghettio. garlic and lemon juice, that's the whole thing. yeah. let's go eat! and a little oregano. [the talk between the grandmother and mother is in the, background] not that I don't know the answer Steve but what did you do in school today? Barbara was making it tonight? Carol. oh. hit Robby. alright just wanted to see you didn't change.
is your chicken good Jackie? you like it? it's a kind a nibble chicken you wanna bite the bones around. yeah, yeah this is more what they would put on a smorgasbord table than ah... good? hm, tasty. first nice I think. now how was that done with lemon sauce? lemon juice. lemon juice and what else? and oregano. garlic. mhm that's the way Liz makes it too. I spoke to Lizzy the other day. well, I didn't meet the giant today. what? I said I didn't meet him today. well, well did you meet the dragon? mhm. not today right? too cold. the dra'... they didn't have galoshes big enough to wear. ha, it's the fire went out. ha, it was so cold. know why you didn't meet him? Ma, today Robbie didn't come. what was the matter with Robbie? 'cause... wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, what did I ask you before?
[father interrupts] yeah. what did I ask you before? yeah, that's right wise guy. what did you do in school? and what did you tell me? I hit Robbie. now you just said Robbie didn't come. who are you lying to? oo oo ah. you made a fib. you're caught kid. huh, huh, well who are you lying to? never mind the karate chops. look at that look, look at that look, that no a good look. now I'll ask you again what did you do in school today? hit Robbie. that means Robbie was in school right? right. [Steve whispers this almost inaudibly] okay. do you want another piece of chicken now? no thank you. so I hit him. [Steve is interrupted by his mother] I'm higher than you dad 'cause I'm sitting on a... mhm. you more comfortable Steve on the um... you want a little more spaghetti Jack? yeah.
[Steve is responding to his mother] there's more on the plate. yes, yes, yes. alright. what a cute little shirt that is? thank you. I'm gonna wear it when... no you're not! [Steve interrupts] why not? it doesn't fit you. how do you know? it just doesn't and you can't wear it. alright. 'cause you can't talk through the micrephone it's... [Steve is interrupted by his father] when it gets cold and you wanna wear one of my sweat shirts, I'm gonna say " no you can't 'cause mine is too big." oh, I forgot all about that. let the hot water run mo'. uhuh. uh a ah. [mimics Steve] Jackie I'm so glad you like your chicken like this. will you have another piece? I'm gonna have two other pieces. alright. how is it Steve? good. dad?
are Joey and you have on my shirsts on I'm not gonna let you. sue what time do I hafta be at that place tomorrow, three forty or something? do you know? I hafta check the ah, time. that means I won't get to Alan 'til maybe five o'clock tomorrow or so. give me your plate. mo' the idea is to pick it up with the tong so that doesn't happen. yeah, I see. yeah. that's enough take it, you take it. I'm, I'm done. darn. that doesn't do anything because I gotta bring the plates back for the sauce. well, I have enough on mine thank you. will you try supper? mine is loaded. [the grandmother and mother are both talking at the same, time, making both inaudible at times] here's another piece of chicken. honey you don't have xxx. yeah? I've got plenty let's finish up the sauce. why you can't hold off on it? look what's here. [the mother is interrupted by both the father and the, grandmother] this has been frozen. this is what I made... ha a ha freeze it again? here's your fork in here. dad? they doesn't listen.
I know, I said it was in the chicken. ah, oh! that's it gang. xxx do you wanna poke him? I'm gonna have another piece. xxx wash all these dishes. [the grandmother are talking almost together again to each, other] I'm I'll shmoosh around. daddy. yeah? yeah one chicken isn't enough. [their conversation continues as the father and Steve, begin one] I usually when I I make two chickens. with the spaghetti? daddy I want soda! I want soda. let's see if I have some. are you eating? yeah. jump way up. eat. eat. Jack you like another piece of chicken? and down. a little cookie to munch around? give me your plate. you're taking my plate. take your own plate. well, if I'm giving it to you... [the mother is interrupted]
yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. ah nuts, and two make four. what did you drop now? my fork? a fork! my fork. yeack. what are you waiting for? a soda. in the meanwhile you can still eat your food. ah Steven you eat meanwhile and then you'll get your soda. give me soda, give me soda, bu, bu, bu. [Steven sings with nonsense syllables at the end] Ma you want another piece of chicken? no, no I have enough. can I have my fork? don't lie. you didn't have enough. no! I had the piece of steak. ha a ha a ah a ha. ha a ah. what do you think I'm ashamed? if I want more, I'll get it. alright, then I'm going to have the other one. I shave. [the grandmother is still talking to the mother, as Steve, continues his nonsense] I shade. I shabe.
but you don't hafta psaghetti xxx... spaghetti, I'm talking like him already. I skeddy a shave. you hafta use about a chicken and a half because they're small pieces. yeah, I know. when you went to school today did you see all the snow on the street or was it all gone already? so I think you oughta take the potatoes out. [the grandmother talks in the background as Steve and his, father try to talk] the snow wasn't when I came back... what should I do with them? you should of seen my car this morning. [the father interrupts. the grandmother and mother, continue to talk between themselves] let them cool off. put them in the refrigerator. what? the taxi, my goodness. oh god they're mushy already. I couldn't see the car. I couldn't. there was so much snow on it. there good, I love them when they're like that. be careful. anybody want a sweet potato? [now the mother asks Steve a question] Steve? what? want a sweet potato? uhuh. no? uh uh?
I want soda. alright you'll hafta wait a minute. because I'm in the process of taking out the potatoes. wait. spaghetti sauce is delicious today too. I think it even tastes... ow! [the mother interrupts as Steve begins to talk also] daddy I... be careful! it even tastes better the following ah day. it's not the day Ma. whatever it is. this is frozen two weeks already. always when it freezes it's better, I think. mommy, did you burn your hand? I did it already Steve. put it under cold water. no, I'm alright. no, cold water will hurt your hand. no cold water's good or even ice. here Ma why don't you go around with this piece? on the nice, nice piece. Steven knows about ice. what? my mother says good for and ice is better. hm, Steven knows about ice. he's learned to live with it. yeah. yeah.
is it's because one time I hurt myself so I put ice. uhhuh. where did you hurt yourself? re remember where I dived off the bed. oh yes how well I remember. which bench? the bed. the bed. his bed. you did those things when you were a little boy, now you're a big boy right? and so he does worst things. yeah he was... when you're four years old... [grandmother interrupts. father interrupts her] right yesterday he was a little boy, yeah. you do things. hm. yesterday he dived off the bed? no. well, so it was two days ago? haha. huh? how about a month ago that happened? hurt himself huh? holded it under cold ice. hey Ma will you give me soda? oh I'm sorry. what do you say? I don't hafta say... [Steve is interrupted by both his grandmother and mother]
when you ask for soda? that magic word. please. okay. low. [Steve is interrupted again] gram why did you make that magic word? now... meanwhile you are eating... Steven I'm afraid I have bad news for you. [the mother interrupts the father but he continues] you are eating the giant. no. all I have is club soda. er, he'll eat that. all I have is club soda. right? oh. do you want that? or you rather drink water? this has bubbles, it makes your nose tickle. give me, give me, give me. daddy would you open it please? he's eating the giant. it's always giant meatball. hm. xxx around here if this is what you must do all the time. [this is inaudible because Steve talks with his father at, the same time] I'm not eating this dad. you are.
xxx all these pieces. [the grandmother starts talking to the mother] xxx this is the guts. I'm not eating meatball. I had chicken. ha. is I, I thought I rinsed it out. no hafta take all these guts out. see all this. I'm not eating meatball. blurp. but that that's not guts Ma that's the backbone. [the mother and grandmother are still having a separate, conversation from Steve and his father] I'm not using to that piece. daddy's a giant chicken. these pieces over here at all times. alright something new do you hear. always make sure you clean that off. alright alright okay. and this is another thing. I had kids throwing snowballs at me all day today. yeah. yeah. who was? all day. who was? kids, as the car went by, they were throwing at the car. I had, I had a poor guy sitting in the car with the window open in the back. he got hit. yeah?
about like, you know, he had the window open about this. oh wow. I'm glad he didn't hitted another one of the lights. your customer from this morning got hit? huh? they hit your customer from the morning? yeah. that's very good xxx. and if it hit the light, the car would be smashed. yeah, well it's soft snow today. tomorrow it will be icy and then it gets... how about opening this up? [the mother interrupts] it's open. how about what do I put it in? oh. wait I'll hand you some glasses. mommy! dad could you open this? it's open Steve, that's all. hey a bungga. that's it. [the father whispers this] open it. when are you gonna be as strong as Bambam and open it yourself? watch it, watch it. hurry, hurry can I close this? dadum. you want a sweet potato? no, no.
Bambam! let me taste a little bit. I wonder if these are as sweet as the other ones. do you have the smile glass there or any small glass? or any glass at all? bam. [Steve says this very softly] ah, these aren't as sweet already as the others. [the mother coughs making this inaudible] I xxx. ah, he can drink from those. okay have fun. that's not enough. very, very good. tha', that is enough. well, that's enough for you. I've got a twitch. hm. xxx delicious yeah. it's cold, it's cold. [father talking to Steven about the drink] be careful. slow Steve. that's very cold. alright? let him finish his his supper. he's doing a good job. let me have my mother's glass please? me and my big mouth. [sound of plate being scraped in background]
who took my chicken bones away? oh I did why? you wanted them? oh mom, I don't know what to do with you. you want the chicken bones? since when do you eat chicken bones? my wife is a fantastic cook mother dear. your wife is a fantastic cook? hm. hm. next to your mother! next to my mother. hm. yeah. haha. let's match how much this I have more. Steven tell the truth. Steven, who's a better cook grandma or your mother? my mommy. thanks Steve. I'm not talking to you either. thanks kid. can't be. whose a better cook gramma rose or gramma Libby? didn't you say I make the best cook? oh well. huh? gramma rose or gramma... mommy! mommy, hee hee, he's neutral.
mommy's still a better cook. how are the sweet potatoes? not sweet as the other ones are. but alright. that's the best one you ever... [Steve talks as his mother and grandmother continue their, conversation] the other ones xxx you know. not so xxx. ah, why not, got nothin' better to do. live it up. gotta waste the night here. hey, I'm standing on the cheese to punch it back in. that's snow, that's not cheese. yes it is. haha. thank you, thank xxx. [Steve makes a swooshing noise] wheek whu. want a hot pepper? yeah. dive off. are the skins good to eat? sure. hm, you washed it off didn't you? olee, olee, boop, bu, boy. are you eating Steve all you ah um... eating. alright. hee ha hee. mom are you eating or are you worrying?
you're eating Spaghettio? spisghettio! not spisghettio, spaghetti. no spisghettio. yee. now you're being silly. ah, oh, spisghettio. Spaghettio. yeah. [Steve begins to cough] drink slowly. take it easy. easy, it's very cold. take sue take a potato. good. oh. not the potato, the xxx is too long. come on stop fooling. put it down. boy that sauce was delicious. maybe Steve will eat one. it's cold you're fooling around. [the mother and grandmother have a conversation while, Steve and his father talk also] it'll snow? if Steve eats the other one. soon you'll be coughing. it's hot, it's hot. whooe! they were expecting xxx. [the mother, grandmother and Steve are all talking at the, same time]
I nearly burned myself. I never burn myself from hot potatoes. come on let's go. I can put them under a fire and put my hand in. put under a fire ya burn yourself. no I won't. yes you will. no I won't. these are good I love 'em like this. you know what? you wanna make a real good one. not as sweet as the others but they're good. yeah. if I keep it outside it will really be harder! and I'll really touch this. uh, your lemons are gettin' spoiled. blup, blup, blup, mom one and one are two. and then a ones and ones are four. what's what? what? ones and onesa make four. one ones and ones? know what that means? one and one and one and one make four. oh alright. you're right, three ones. yeah. four ones. four ones make four. four, four.
teach, teach gramma. that means four, four. that means four one, four one, four one, four one. that makes four. one two three four. that's right. four ones, know what that means? he just taught you that. there is four one. that's right. right. see? a smart boy. a four one to make one. uhhuh uhhuh. one, one, and one and one. that makes four. right. you didn't hafta say one two three four. you can say one and one are four. this means these two hafta be one and these make one. that makes four. that's why you count on your fingers. but you're suppose' to say one two three four. well, one and one make four. okay, you say so. except what I said. what's the matter? I got a bad spot on the potato. a bad spot?
a little rotten spot? yeah on the skin, just here. oh. just between you and the garbage pail you're sposta save it for tomorrow haha. yeah that his now. let's see another one. oh, they're very good. I am vodka? [singing] finish eating Steve. how's about eating? yeah, forget about the counting right now. huh you're gonna hey you did fall off didn't you? no. this is what I must've bit into. oh, the end, sure. you want a piece of this? he has his own. he has his own. hm, hm, ut ah. [Steve speaks nonsense] I know he has his own. do you want a piece of this? no, I have my own. yeah, it looks very nice there doesn't it? oh! he's talking to the potato. doesn't hurt. doesn't burn. look daddy it doesn't burn.
get your hands off me! ha ah. don't squeeze! ha. [the father talks in a very high voice] I'll chop you in half. take the potato and chop it in half. you have the knife there. you had enough or you didn't have enough? are you kidding? not with a karate chop. dad? I ate two potatoes. I ate spaghetti. I ate steak. how much could you eat? I was hungry. I can chop it in pieces. ah, chop it in pieces if you gonna eat it. to get up late it's a pleasure, so I have one slice of toast with a piece of american cheese over it ah, ah, you know, um melted and that's it. dad do you wanna throw a pie in your face? kwa. huh? that was good. I'm gonna throw a pie in your face, cream puff pies, kwick. haha. he he he ha. right in your face. haha. tell me, where do you see that?
on tv he falls over with the pies. and you think that's very funny huh? it is. you should see him fall down the steps. it has everybody xxx loves Bambam. with a lemon, lemon meringue pies. uh um. he drops the pies. well, I'm squeezing you potato. haha haha. oo oo! ouch, ouch. oo oo. haha. you better stop squeezing me or else I'll call Zoey's? [talks in funny voice] giant. haha. Zoey's giant. Jack will you eat a plain tuna salad tomorrow and I'll make lox and xxx cheese and butter. [the grandmother, mother and Steven all talk at the same, time] how about it? we have so much veal already it's coming out of our ears. huh? I'll bet you work very hard. you mean I hafta eat your cooking mother? haha. er er er. I'll hafta sacrifice I guess so. look dad.
sue what do you think? tonight I'm having the tunafish for a change? look dad! yeah, it's not hot. alright it's still a little hot. he's not gonna eat it anyway. hey here's the knife. here's the knife. that's the knife. I don't need it. dadum. unless maybe I take a walk and bring some fish tomorrow. what do you think? don't eat my potato! no! hm. alright. I think I'll bring some fish. I'd rather have the other stuff. I'll give you the tunafish. we'll have fish, Suzy and I. just hafta be different right? I saw a cute little sign in a fish store today. what did it say? no fish allowed. no, I'm a fish, I was born to fry. haha. really? yeah. fry me.
that's cute. fry me. haha. fry me. that's cute. fry me, fry me doody fucker pee pee. doodalalee. haha. Steven, I don't like that. that's not nice to say. pee pee poo. silly. doody fucker pee pee, doody fucker pee pee. come on, you eating or not? I'm eating doody fucker pee pee. what time do you hafta leave tomorrow sue? me? nine o'clock in the morning. poo poo. you wanna go pee pee. pee pee is back. hey o bop a pee. what's tomorrow? I hafta be out interviewing. bare. oh tomorrow is it? I went today to pick up the work. oo, oo, oo. that's my work, is in that envelope. don't you hafta do the other thing tomorrow too?
or is it next week? next week. thursday? tuesday and thursday. I think I should clean up these interviews tomorrow. oo bah pee. what type of interview are they? nice. ha, that does me a lot of good. ha, I hafta go down to the development houses. I have this certain machines. well, what time do you figure to be back? in time for supper? ah, I sure hope so. tomorrow, I'll probably be a little late. well that's alright. xxx said it's just a half hour inspection. that's what she said. don't starve? 'til I get back it'll be fun. where is this? long island city, I think. yeah. let's see who has some soda. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. the bottle does.
nope mommy does. I say this has. nope. you have none! I have none now. this coop club soda is the worst. is it really? why no bubbles? some of the other ones your eyes water, when you drink it right? yeah. not this one. took all the fizzy out of it. how's the club soda? fizzy. that kind of fizzy? yeah. what kind of club soda is that? fizzy. like the club that I belong to? no. you drink soda at my club too. does he? yeah. yeah. in the soda machine. I saw ah what's his name is back? ah, Dave. yeah, he's all tanned. yeah. I saw him at the club ah I don't know.
said hello to ya? sunday, yeah... yeah? [grandmother interrupts] 'cause as a matter of fact Steven asked him permission if he could go into the club to play the pinball machine. what was he there? yeah Dave was out there, this guy Murph and someone else I asked them to go over there. I'm glad they didn't let me 'cause it's broken. you like to play the pinball machine Steve? yeah. now he's got a new game. what game is that? pool. pool. oh yeah? now where could he have inherited such a trait? pray tell. ah, it wasn't me. xxx dad promised me that he expects I'm gonna play pool. it wasn't me. what's that? it was not I. I did not bake again I was too tired. so what? there's little cookies there. I... I think I'm gonna go down for about twenty minutes, I'll wait a few minutes. I finished you potato! all gone, you sure did. he did, how about that?
he ate the potato? it's good. oh, there's a little more Steve. squeeze it out. but... [the mother interrupts] that all is a good potato in there. ow! you bit me! haha. oh, can I see somethin'. well what do you know? what? congratulations! what do you mean? you don't have dirt on your nose. oh no I don't. you oughta wash his face. you don't. no I don't. I said you don't have dirt on your nose today. Steven, you told your daddy a fib today? uh um! yeah he couldn't... told him about the little boy and the boy wasn't there. [the grandmother interrupts the father but he continues] oh my! he couldn't make up his mind. he's still not sure. you didn't yo, you didn't needta say a fib.
did ya? oh my. Steve how about eating up a little more? I like to fool people dad. yeah? who do you like to fool the most? you! oh. you don't want this for anything? nothing to do with it Ma. it's bad. well, I fool you sometimes. toot. no you don't. toot, toot. dad? what? ah, will you play with me? I'll think about. maybe I'll fool you and say yes and I won't. ha. no. how about some coffee? will you? when I come up. yeah, after I go have a cup of coffee. anybody for coffee? tea. and then I'm gonna go down for a few minutes... uh huh.
[Steve interrupts but the father continues] and I'll come up. just for one minute? I'm only going down for a few minutes. for three minutes? got any milk for desert? [the mother and grandmother are having one conversation, while Steve and his father are having another] oh, about ten. no. sue, any kind of desert? yeah about. that's not so much. no four. if you want open something. I don't have anything open. no. I should like some jello. I'll bring up a package from my house. go to four minutes alright? right. four? three. you mean out of all the packages there's not one around? five. I think there's one. three! five. three. six. find one I'll make it.
three. haha. two. three. two. three. two. four. what is he doing? two! he's telling me how many minutes I'm allowed to stay down. three. oh. just three. you want me to stay down only three minutes? you wanna make a deal? finish whatever's on your plate. no. otherwise I stay down five minutes. yep looks like I'm gonna stay down five minutes. no. looks like you're gonna stay down five hours the way he's eating. ten minutes. haha. there goes Zoey's giant. crunch. eat up, eat up he's good. I have a plate like this for you but a smaller version with a cover. if you want it? daddy he tastes good dad.
oh yeah. I see you cracked it already. don't say that I did it. oh, that's been cracked a long time. that's all. what did she crack? what did who crack? a dish. my dish. let me see. ah ah! sue get me one of the ah things for... boom boom. what's a thing Ma? a Brillo? a Brillo pad. it's right underneath here. boom boom. I didn't see it. you put oh yeah and he put up water. du du bu dup beep. that won't help xxx. what's the matter? I want don't go boop da boop. ha ho. just throw out these things right? yeah. boom boom. I'll throw out the garbage. that's...
[father interrupts Steve] oh by the way today's wednesday already. what? already. da da Daddy! wait. what did he say? what? the micrephone is not on. well just leave it alone. how come? when Graeme comes up he'll probably put it on. when is he coming up? I don't know. I know. when is Graeme coming up? a little while. a little while I guess. I think he hadta go somewhere. no he didn't. is that his name? I didn't even know. I thought his name was Melvin. what is his name? his name is Graeme. oh. he's one of my teachers. oh I thought he was a cracker. haha. he'll appreciate that.
haha. oh, look at that look. he, he's not a graham cracker, right? right, ha ah. aw oo oo oo. you stop that. can I go out with this five cents now. yeah. stop that dad, silly. Jackie you lost your job back. his name is Graeme. yeah, the best job you could've lost. you lost your job carrying the xxx. ah I got my I have my suit on or else. haha. ah haha. kongaer. [Steve is saying nonsense] Hong Kong phooey. oh, you know what you just did? what? look at that. you got sauce on... oh on the shirt. oh my. ya got sauce on your Hollywood shirt. we won't tell. you better stop. haha. hold onto my hand.
because you're getting a little too strong for me. Steven are you finished eating? no, he's eating slow. oh. am I getting a little too strong for you? ow. haha you'll die. come on. [Steve chokes a little bit] now all kidding aside, you wanna tell me the truth. was Robby in school today? yeah? alright. that's all. okay. see what happens when you fool around? oo oo. see? what happened? hey wait, I wanted to... he tried to be a wise guy, he took all the soda... [the father interrupts Steve. then Steve interrupts his, father] dry my shirt! it's not wet. took all the soda... it's not wet. [the mother interrupts] it went into his mouth and tried to hold it, yow... [but the father continues] oh wise guy.
and he almost choked. [the mother interrupts again as the father continues] down here. yeah. I would've but I then went erk erk erk. [Steve makes a noise as if clearing his throat] can't do that with soda. fish on rice s'pose to wash with Brillo. uh oo oo. what are you tryin' to do? look like a gorilla? what? not with Brillo with, ah, this. why? er er er err! [Steve's sound completely blocks out what the grandmother, says to the mother. again the same thing happens] that's a gorilla! instead of spaghetti next time we'll give you bananas. see if you left anything in this xxx. da Dad! I'm not a gorilla! you're just a big monkey. no! I'm not! you are. no I'm not, mommy is. wait 'til you're finished eating 'cause it stinks up the house. very hard to inhale. oh. poison you know.
mommy's just a dummy erk. mommy's just a dummy fucker ass. yeah, they tell you do it. xxx you're not s'pose to use Brillo on these. I'll kill him. mommy is a dummy fuck... Steven! [Steve's mother interrupts but Steve attempts to continue. Steve is interrupted again] I don't wanna hear it. I don't wanna hear it! alright, alright. [Steve begins to hum] alright. alroar. lalada alright mom, hmmerhmm... are you gonna eat? [Steve's father interrupts] now you're starting to get silly. wha', what did you say? alright let's go. what did you say? [the mother and grandmother are talking to themselves as, Steve and his father talk together] we'll hafta run away from town. you gonna eat this? yeah boo, yeah. if I don't you gonna go down for five... twenty minutes. [Steve's father interrupts] no, you're not! forever.
forever, my foot? you're going down for two minutes. are you going down for two minutes to get listen! uh, what are you doin' wipin' it on the shirt? I'm not. I'm out... no, you're wipin' it on the pants right? [Steve's father interrupts] you have napkins here. oh boy I need another napkin. well here's a clean one. toot daddy... [Steve sings this in a high voice] here's another napkin Lisa. [his parents make fun of him] Lisa hey Lisa. Lisa, here's another napkin. I'm not Lisa. you act like her. you sound just like her. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, bam, bam! [Steve changes his tone to a more bass like growl] now you're getting silly. bam! Steve you getting silly? right. you are. duer doody, daddy, deedy... dadu. I rate in that coop.
look at this. I got a double bag. they're not sposta... normally you don't get them? [the grandmother interrupts] no. I get a double bag. of course you might be his partner. ha ah. ha ah. you also pay nine dollars more on every order. oh I do not. ahhah. right. charging xxx. you do so! chicken is fort' eight cents a pound in the key food so what kind of favor do they do you? it's ninety five cents at the post. they're over priced. unless maybe he gave you the xxx chicken xxx? no he it to the referee. they're over, they're over priced there. you know that. haha ah. you said a bad word. what bad word? referee. doody. I didn't say that. you said cockie doo doo.
no I didn't stupid. that's very stu'... yeah... [Steve begins to interrupt. but his father interrupts him, back] why are you tryin' to be so silly? haha huh haha. haha. nothing silly, he's acting like a little baby. and he's not a baby. no, ah, ah, er oo. are there any more dishes left sue? can I have your plate? you don't want this leftover Ma? no, I don't mind. how are you? drink it, it's your glass. brerrrrbrer! come on, you're leaving out the best part. brerererr. let him finish up. you can go down for two minutes. [cuts in] how come there's only one more here? oh they're both here. that's all that was left and I looked. dad when I count to two you're gonna come back. [Steve talks to mister gm is talking to Missus] I hope you didn't lose it. no they were both here when I came up. yeah?
are you sure? I didn't see any. when I count to two you're comin' up alright? I am. one, two! I'm back. good now you can't go down again. maybe I'll go down again, I stayed down for such a short time. yeack. Steven finish your meal huh? if you go down, I'm gonna jump out the window. I don't know, you're always complaining that you like to win and when I beat you, you complain. how come you're the last here? you always lose when it comes to eating. 'cause I don't care. oh this game you don't care I see. I don't care for eating. you know who won in horseshoes? me. you did daddy, right? me! nope I don't believe it. me and I... when I walked out the other night... [the mother interrupts] the score was six to one. daddy! see I I left it was ten to one. no, steven! daddy is the better horseshoe player.
ah, that's right. uncle... no! [Steve interrupts but his father continues] yes! uncle, uncle mike saw me put it on. yeah and you just hurts you to admit it Steven, that's all. can't admit it. there was two times I said blap and he xxx. what did he do? haha. if I got it on, he got mad and went blap. haha what? haha. but daddy won. but then he cheered for me. who went thook? Steven. Steven. I won one time right? won six to one, right, you had me. I was tied then. you had one, I had six. six is bigger than one. haha. no. yes. ten is more than six. yes then is more than six right. but you didn't have ten.
well if I did I would really be good at it. yep, if you had ten you would be as good as your mommy. she's the best ring toss player there is. no. mom, when you, when you and daddy play... she's pretty good at throwing things too. [Steve's father interrupts him] dad will you play ring toss with me? when? when I come back. and mom will you too? play ring toss with us? alright, yeah for a little while. I'm gonna go to sleep with this. with what? with this. with the shirt? you can't. I wanna! Graeme will probably leave it here, you gonna wear it tomorrow morning again. it's my turn to wear it tomorrow. uhuh you you can't w, wear it anymore. well maybe they have a big shirt. one that fits me. and if you kick me once more I'm gonna punch you right in the nose. haha. haha. Willie Lumlum. oh yeah. Steven Lumlum.
no you are Willie Lumlum. you know I hafta go up there at school tomorrow. yeah? yeah. when I come home everyday it's the same thing. what did you do today Steven? I hit Robbie. I hi... I'm gonna find out if you have a special class it's called hitting Robbie. oh you know what? [gm and Missus talk while Steve and mister talk] I have piece of another cake left. uhhuh. I forgot about that. if that's all you do then there's no sense in me letting you go to school anymore. I did, do you want me to hit you? see when you're desperate you look. you even cut a piece from this cake? yeah, I got that to serve. well I mean, that's, that's getting to be stupid already. all I hear from you is I hit Robbie and I hit Robbie and I hit Robbie. ah see you got xxx. just knock yourself out and rush it ruins the place. don't you do any playing during the day? I didn't really feel up to it Ma I was glad that the chicken was made. well what do you play? get rid of the cake and don't bring no more for awhile anyways. I play on the loft. on what? on the loft.
on the loft? yeah. and what is on the loft? w we don't play with anything that's on the loft we run around like Super man. who's we? in school. who? Asher and Todd and Lee and also Zoey you know what we did? does does Zoey... we went under mom we went under Zoey and we climbed under the things that we sit on. [Steve interrupts] what things? don't you know what you sit on? to wait your turn? no. dad that's what we climbed under and we climbed over! do you want any sauce for this? or ice cream for this? we climbed over that. you hafta be careful you didn't fall and hurt yourself. do we have or do I want? do you want or do we have? I imagine we have a little of that strawberry, vanilla, chocolate stuff. I don't want any more! dudu toot. come on Steve. what do you want? I don't want anymore toot toot. where are you going? come eat one more.
let's no you don't have spaghetti. what was that? I thought that had a stain of spaghetti on it. come over here. come over here Steve. Steve please come here. nope. want some more ice cream? one more time. Jack you want ice cream? Steven wants ice cream too? ye yeah. now Steven doesn't like ice cream. I want a Danny? Steven wants a Danny? alright. 'cause we don't have any ice cream. yes we do, we have a little. guess what I saw Beame deliver to the coop today? Haagendaz [ice cream]. Howard Johnson's. Howard Johnson! who the hell... I never heard of it. the coop they had Haagendaz they never carry Howard Johnson. well they're not gonna get it from Alan. the typhus. they're not getting it from Alan I know. I know. sue how about you?
you want ice cream? no, no. mom do you want dummy? no. what? candy? Ma get me the, the big one there. the vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry. here get it. I wanna put it on, ah, the piece of cake. alright so here. oh you put it there. yeah, put it on the cake. you want one to toast that cake? huh? no, I wanna put it on the cake. I'll cut a piece for you. oh I cut two pieces. isn't it a pleasure sue when you cook, when you cook supper the night before there's no problem. put it in, put it in, throw it in. yeah! everything is so easy for you. Steve do me a favor? what? get me ah spoon please? oh yeah. hey, hey, hey. dad I will! tell daddy... [doorbell rings]
here hu. oh, that's Graeme. thank you. Graeme. I will get it. can you reach shortie? oh that, he'll never get in with that. Graeme, Graeme, Graeme, Graeme. Graeme. just before he knocks... he said forty five minutes. he lives around here? yeah. ask him if he wants coffee. burrurs. mom what is the other one for? who's who? other one what? the other button there. would I... the other button is to talk and here this one is to press to open the door. [the mother interrupts] who just rang the bell? mister cracker? no. Graeme. graham cracker. no. haha look it. graham cracker?
oh well you just stop that dad. silly dilly! his name is Graeme, not graham cracker. gramma. grampa. doody oh, dad you just stop that. and I know what else you're gonna say. what else am I gonna say? you're going to say I wing right? [the doorbell to their apartment rings] I wing right? go open the door. go ask who it is. ask who it is. who is it? Graeme. it's Graeme again. thank you Steve. ha, crazy kid. ha. welcome back here. thank you. see? just in time for coffee? how would you like a cup of coffee? okay great. thank you. alright. he takes it black. alright, alright.
Steve did you fin... whose is this Steve? [Steve is in the kitchen having dinner with his mother, father and grandmother] tell us, tell us! it's my mom, it's my mom, that's my daddy's place! haha okay, now that we told her, that's all. that's all I'm switching plates now, now she can have that 'cause there's only a little left, he, he, he, look what I I get. oh boy, joy, see, paper and all. paper and all. I was just going to say. give that to daddy. I don't like this plate xxx. no that doesn't do anything. the big plate, ahhah! that's it. alright so you'll have enough there if you take another piece. I'm Popeye the sailor man. [sings] no you're not... well I will when I eat my spinach. well you're not Popeye. Susan I'll give you another piece. no, I don't want it. Popeye can't really pick up things. huh? everything that he pick' ups falls on his, on, his wife. is this all the cream you have? no, there's another container. no. there is more?
yeah. sure. sure? yes mom, in the back of the refrigerator there's another. isn't that funny, I was going to buy you another one. no I have. here you are. today you got a real Popeye supper. supper supper. well he still can't hurt me, don't you know that? don't you know that? [mimmics Steve] xxx I'm going to ask you the same silly question I ask you every day. don't ask him, don't ask him I did already. but I don't know his answer. what? what did you say? what am I going to ask you? what did you do in school today Steve? I know. [the school tape recorder] heard the taperecorder. that's what you did in school today? yeah. you hid the taperecorder? no I heard, I heard it. you did? no! I said I... okay I'll see you a little later.
what? I'll see you a little later. [gb leaves] okay, fine, okay then. but we each had a turn saying everything. know what that means? we keep having turns playing with the taperecorder. okay. know what that means? what? sue here. everything that... no mom, no I don't want it. really. e, everything that we said the tape recorders hada say. I wont press you. yeah. yeah. you mean you were so busy you forgot to do what you always do? I know, I can, hit Robbie, right? [sound of oven tray rattling. gm speaks in yiddish] no we, no we did it! we heard it at test time. oh I see, but you hadta do it, right? well, Linda would have had a nice supper here, if she didn't have that big lump with her. no Lisa would. your father's moustache, how does this go? [gm is still struggling with oven tray] you're saying the wrong word! you're saying Lisa.
oh, leave it out, instead of... yeah, alright, let it cool off. shouldn't this go around the other way this pot? you mean Lisa! no. so why doesn't it? mom, because, lift it a little bit. higher? [she gets the tray in] no, lift the thing no. alright that's it. it's bent on one side, it hasta go... take it out Ma, see if you can do it again. keep quiet, Gracie, Gracie! alright, let's eat. you know that Steven played so nicely with the little the little girl. Lisa. they were such angels. today I didn't even know I had two children in the house, that's the truth. you didn't, they were probably in the hallway. no no, he was very good, he really was. he? left the country. when he's with her alone and, and I tell her to behave herself, the minute, anyone else comes in another little girl came why don't you like the other little girl? I do like her! so why'd you say you didn't want her? who was the other little girl? so why did you say you didn't want her? Felice? yeah.
no I'm talking about Lisa! I like Lisa alright I'm... no I don't like Lisa, I like Felice! [Steve cuts in] oh, Felice you like. so why did you get excited when she came in? 'cause Lisa started fighting with me, so I was angry at Lisa. oh, so she did start up with her? no Lisa start up with me. I know. I'm saying that. I, start up back. she thinks she's the only one who's allowed to hurt me. but you play nicely in school don't you? no. you still fight? yep. that's terrible. I want some... mom pass the napkins please. you have any soda, mom? no dear. I'll have water. I guess you will. thank you. do you have soda? I don't have Steve. if you would you would give me? Steve I was not in the coop today dear, I was busy working. now we have sour cream on that shirt to go with the the spaghetti sauce from last night.
haha. no, mom, you know what you to can do? what is it? you want a glass of water I'll give it you. yes. I know what you can do you can get a napkin. my pants are xxx. yeah. not a napkin, a tissue I mean. no, a napkin. how did this break? what broke? glass, went right through, did you have this anywheres? did you bang it? if you're talking about Steven he just has... I did it. there's plenty more where that came from. I'm loaded with those up on top I have two dozen of them. break one, I don't care. drink water, it's nice and cold. would anyone else like a drink in this family? no not me thanks, not right now. I am full. [some one drops a knife on a plate] easy now don't bang it against that thing. we have corn you know. ahhah it's really delicious that salmon. it's the best fish, mom. when you sit down I move over. dad, know what you said before?
yes. what? when, when I, when grandma said start I could sit on... you're not on the you're still on the corner. [gm cuts in] Steve here, don't you see. you're still on the corner honey. eats like a big boy. you'll have muscles. you'll look like your grandmother Steven. like you're grandmother Locky? no. haha. there you go insulting me again Steve. your best grandma! I don't care. what? he loves good fish like this. give him another fish. mom did you make the fish? grandma made it. okay, this is ready, and the other one's... Graeme must think I never cook, that you move in here to cook for me. no, I told him that I don't see you only once a week. now it just happens that I'm... I don't want this fish! this is delicious. it's the same fish. no. the same thing.
come on. you're so silly, oh, it's the same fish, we all made the the same fish. two bones xxx check it out. check it out. umaumaumaum. is there any bones? no. no, not in this piece, oh boy Steve, does that look good. did you like it? [Steve spits it out] did you like it? yeah it's good. delish. nothing like a little piece of fried chicken and fried dumpling. mhm. much as I hate it. I'm a fish, fry me xxx. [sings] that was cute. huh, so... and you. oh no, are you joking, or what? or what? are you are you crazy? or what? are you crazy? did you eat the peppers? huh? all of them. I see they disappeared.
dunky, dunky, dunky. [Steve mutters to himself] [talks with mouth full] good idea talk to me xxx. [grandmother] what's that, dear? saturday, before I think of bringing it to the... achoo! [Missus sneezes] bless you. see it's a good idea, that's all. thank you what is it? before I think of bringing it to the guy for the tune up, which will now be my mechanic, I'll stop by the garage first and wait then for one of the mechanics to check it out, that's all. [Steve whispers to himself] five. [mister coughs] were you on Broadway today? I looked for you, all the passing cabs. right in front of two Broadway is a hack stand. swallowed a bone? eleven... he did? take a piece of dry bread, Jack. ten after eleven. what's that sposta do? helps it ah absorbs the ah bone. grunchy munchy I want this one. ten after eleven I was on the ah... all my years I did it when I swallowed it. [Missus doubts her remedy]
it gets tangled in the bread. the bone. ah I want this one. [Steve trys to talk over the conversation between Missus and, gm] oh, when you're in midst of choking on a bone how could you possibly swallow dry bread? grandma, I want this! they tell you right away to take a piece of dry bread. I want this grandma, I want this piece. no it's the worst thing, mom. alright. you're not supposed put any other food in your mouth if you're choking. ten after eleven I was in the area. [mister still answering wife's previous question] ten after eleven. ten after eleven? yeah I was down there, I was down there at ten o'clock. grandma? am I eat supper with the bread? yeah, but have your fish there. why bread? it helps the throat. [no verbal resp] yummy, isn't it Steve? good that way. she likes it. it's a like a piece of toast. [Steve cuts in] toast is not soft put a little butter on it for you, Steve? would you like a little butter? that's all.
Steve was a very good... hey grandma, wipe that off! wipe what off? it's butter, your daddy just had butter on it. no it was cream. cream. big deal. oh is that a fuss pot this kid. I'll put the thing on his head one of these days. I'll pour... alright! alright. alright, that's enough! only margarine you can put on his head. I'll put... why? 'cause that's the tradition? it's like wearing a crown or something. I'll put cream cheese... hey watch! I'll put cream cheese on your head. oh no. are you looking for a movies contract xxx? I'll put cream cheese on your head. I wanted him to read a little bit the commodities. don't reading? [Steve shouts] me! yes. no!
Willie Lumlum. Willie Lumlum. grandma, you're calling people names. your name isn't Willie Lumlum? that's right. what's your name? Steven Lastname. well you act like Will Lumlum. you do. alright let's eat, and let's be nice to each other. what's the occasion? says you? and where's my napkin? you set the table so nicely Steve. yeah. yeah, like big boy. [Missus goes out to get Steve a napkin] great table setter, my son. [cough]. what happened here? water! [asking for water] well drink it. why do you hafta cry like that? every third time you open your mouth you're whining like a baby. 'cause I swallowed the bread. yeah. well what else are you sposta do. yeah that's all, I'll give you more water, okay? I like bread, it's like a toast bread just eat it slowly.
is it toast? uhhuh. it is toast? sure. it's black bread toasted in the oven. toasted pumpahnickel. [says with heavy jewish accent] no offense. you had you like it this way? yeah it's good. Ma! what? where's my napkin? I got you one. [angry tone of voice] you must have used eighteen napkins already. [Missus leaves the kitchen] 'cause my grandma keeps taking them. I didn't touch your napkin honestly. eat like a big boy and then we'll give you a nice whatadaya call it. hot corn! [says in a voice that mimics a hot dog vendor at a sports, game] hot corn! I'll get a hot corn. I'm got hot corn also. the whole family's gonna... aft, after I've finished mine, everybody gets it at the same time. right. that's one of my favorites... we're waiting for you to finish your dinner.
that's one of my favorites also. hot corn! oh, we're gonna have corn not hot dogs. well is the, is the corn hot or is the corn cold? hot, cold. hot. cold. cold, cold corn, cold corn. it's frozen when you don't put it in the oven. yeah. well what happens after you put it in the oven? it gets hot. right. so it's called hot corn right? [mother sings this Campbell soup jingle, she stops] Steve's got an answer for the theory there. [father takes up where she left off and finishes jingle] oh boy! do we have delicious corn! mmamm good! mmamm good that's what... hot corns are mmamm good. mmamm good. go ahead, sing a song. [sings] go a mma good. that's what Campbell's soups are, mmamm good. good, good Campbell's soups are yuck! they're delicious! I hate it.
what soups are good? bingo. [sings] bango, bingo, bango! what soup is good? Jack, finish the potato. tomato soup. that wha'? soup? taste like tomato soup! what's that song that goes like that? with the potato or tomato. how many more do you have? what? corns. four more. oh, but they looked like there was three over here? that's alright. potato tomato tomaeto you say potato, I say tomato tomaeto. [sings] potato... patato potaeto tomato tomaeto tomato tomaeto ah haha. [sings in british type accent] you say tomato ei go ahead, I say... tomato tomaeto. tomato tomeito. I say we finish singing and we continue eating. [sings] let's call the whole thing off. [sings]
we say potato poteito. you say potato potaeto you to say tomato tomeito and I say... potato potaeto you say. tomato tomaeto. and I say you better eat. tomato tomaeto tomato tomeito... I say you better eat. I am. I hafta eat alla those? yes. no you're not. I'm not? why not? there's only three of them. they're small. grandma! what! my daddy said he's gonna eat... just finish yours, I have yours all for yourself in your pot there, 'cause you're my best boy. are you gonna eat alla those? no I am not going to eat all of those. he's only fooling. one for me, one for grandma, one for mommy, and there's one in the pot for you too. for the whole family! I know why it's still in the oven, cause mine's gonna be good, right? it's still in the pot to stay hot 'cause you're still eating. grandma! what dear? take mine out of the pot. I'm taking it out of the pot, okay.
now this one's, this one's really yours, right there. 'cause it's... daddy's fooling. here. we'll leave it right here okay? all fer you. how about that, Steve? right here. it'll cool off now. where's your mother? somewhere in the back. bedroom, or bathroom I don't know. grandma, you are getting the one that's in the pot. right. and there's jist one more left and that's for mommy, right? you know what I think I'll do, Steve? what? while we're waiting. yeah. shall I butter it up for you so it will be ready when you want it? no! I shouldn't? that's right, no you shouldn't. not unless you put salt with it. will you, grandma, put salt here! alright you want salt on the table. put salt on the table so daddy can get it ready. okay little Steve! with the butter and salt. first finish your fish and your baked potato.
no, this has gotta cool off. come on. dad. here, finish this. dad, dad, will you put that on so it'll be ready? yes. I'm glad it didn't fall on the floor. [the corn almost rolls off plate] yes, so am I. I'm glad went falling onto the... 'cause I caught it. no you didn't. well, it fell on the dish, right? I would have caught it any way. when we practice playing, we learn how to catch! some day we'll hafta play catch the hot corn. I wanna go clean my bedroom. when I catch it I'm gonna really throw it high! let's see how fast you can finish your food. ah you just stop that. aren't you eating, sue? I'm full already. wanna eat your hot corn, sue? I'm what dear? aren't you gonna have hot corn? I'm full. want cob corn? corn, on the cob! her xxx cold. corn on the cob.
corn on the cob okay. you get very strong from that. from this? yeah? you get muscles. from corn. who told you that? nobody. from spinach you get muscles. no! when you eat spinach you throw up. you're gonna, you're gonna get sick. not from spinach, spinach is very healthy. no it isn't. you're gonna wind up eating so much bread. that you won't, you won't be able to eat anything else. you like the toasted bread, Steve? grandma. what! did you enjoy your supper? finish your fish and then you have corn. no! well... I hate this supper. why did you make this old dummy suppa. Steve we were gonna invite your little friend too. don't invite Lisa, invite Felice. right, but we didn't have enough for all of them. oh I see that, what adaayouacallait tissue. if Felice comes mommy, daddy I want Felice to come up tomorrow.
Steve did you see the tin foil anywheres? I must be getting cockeyed, I can't see it. the tin foil, go see, sweetheart, where, where can put it, in the closet. in here! no, tin foil isn't there. yes. must be by the sink. what the heck did I do with it? this is the one you're looking for. oh there it is! no, no, there it is Steven see! on the floor. go pick it up sweetheart. in the box there Steve, the aluminum foil. yeah. that's it Steve. oh boy! mommy took that off there, I don't know why. [before dinner] yeah. [dinner time] thank you very much Steve. I opened it. yes you're a gentleman. [gm wraps something in the foil] finish your fish and you'll have a nice delicious pudding. I don't like, this. such good fish. you made this with yucky things. oh it's so good everybody likes it.
except me. you always say that you like grandma's food. what happened all of a sudden now? you know you forgot how it is to be a man, you're acting like a little baby now. [Steve drinks noisily] I want you to stop that when you drink. you know what happened yesterday. what? with the soda. you almost choked when you put it in your mouth like that. he doesn't realize it. hm, this is delicious. oh yeah, I gotta smell. I never, choke. Steven, can I ask you to please finish this? ah, that's yucky! no it's not yucky, it's delicious. it is yucky for me. you don't want any more? huh? no, he'll eat it. I'm eating corn. yeah I know that. well you better stop eating the bread before you won't any room for the corn. where's his corn? right here. oh. oh you you. do you want me to take off his socks to find it? yes since I want my socks off off.
[chants] yes siree I want ack ka ka. kae. you hafta go into the bathroom? I'm cleaning in there. oh go ahead. clean, clean, clean, honey clean. Jackie I haven't done it yet. it's a good time, honey, a very good time. ah ahhah. [singing to himself] doado, ooaoo. was there any business today? wipe you nose Steve. give it a good blow so you'll be able to eat. Jackie. yeah. there's something I want you to do. I'm busy. I want you to go down to the credit union, because if I go down there one time, I'm gonna put a bomb... I'm not going. in the window. Jackie please go down, I can't get down there to pay it they are closed constantly. oh I'm not going to have it rain on me. oh stop being silly. they're open again from I went in again this morning, quarter after nine before I left. they were closed, don't open 'til ten. I came back I went at a quarter after four they close at four they don't open again 'til seven. they're driving me nuts. two weeks I'm walking around with the money.
so walk downstairs. they're not open yet, not 'til seven o'clock. seven eight. [Steve counts] one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, [swallows] nineteen, twenty could it be open at twenty o'clock? what about twenty o'clock? there's no such hour Steve, as twenty o'clock. finish that corn if he don't want it. yes there is. Steve. Steven, come on, at the table. like my haircut, Jack? yeah very nice. too short? no. dad, will you give me my water? you drank it. no you drank it yourself Steve. no I didn't! oh you know he forgets he really does. are you gonna eat this or not? I am. well come on. oh, I don't like that supper, I don't like that. I'm not asking you to eat that, you've finish that! eat this now eat the corn. dad, I wanna wait till it cools off. oo! oo. is it hot?
a little bit. I don't even need it h even a little bit hot. [mister whistles] ah oo, oo. duh, did you say oo? x yes? did you say oot? no. oo, that's what I said. dad, do it again. touch the corn again. no, it hurts. ah I can touch it. it doesn't burn me dad. maybe it burns you but it doesn't burn me. oh ho ho ho hoahoa hoaho. [singing] dad, eat that other corn that's on the, the plate. oh I don't think I want it. then who's gonna eat it? maybe mom will have it later. 'cause I would never do it. I'd never eat two oo. want a cup of coffee Jack? good idea, good idea. it tastes yucky when I eat two. [Steve whispers to himself] wha! Steven. finish your eating like a big boy, then you'll go in and you'll watch a story.
you have a program on at this hour? no. what the programs that you listen to all day long? you didn't watch too many of them today. yes I did. what time did they go on, early, huh? yeah. uhhuh. you know son, he was a very good boy today. uhhuh. you really were. is that so? did you tell your father what games you played today? games he played where? they played in the house here, he played with little... oh. we played two games. what games did you play? dad, tonight will you play ring toss with me? I don't know. I may to go down to the club tonight. where? there's a meeting tonight and I may hafta go down. well go. thank you. go! thank you. go go. well I don't know that I wanna. go, man go!
I don't think I wanna. are you gonna go? why it's nice to attend the meetings. are you dad? I don't know. they argue amongst themselves there? nah. if you don't that means you won't? who's the president of that club? ah it's getting too cold. Jacky's brother. yeah he's a nice guy, Jacky's brother is a he's a certified accountant, you know that? changed his name though. what's his first name? Jacky's is Rasmitsky. yeah, what's his name? Rad. who? Rad. shortened it. oh. look dad. but he's a nice feller. does he know who you are? yeah, I think so. know what? his wife's name is Helen. she ever come into the club? no, I don't think it's hot anymore Steve. go, eat your corn Steve.
they're having a bingo party next week there. you wanna go? I wouldn't go for two cents. I don't do anything they do. huh? I don't do anything with them. you'd be bored anyways, playing with the bingo. oh boy, any doody. but Steven goes in to shoot pool there doesn't he? oh boy, I'm a doody. [Steve cuts in] Steven. you go into shoot pool in the club? you said golf, not pool. you said golf. it's pool. pool? and what else do you play, the pinball machine, right? we coul'n't play the other time cause it was broke. oh yeah, did you hafta pay for pay for it, Steven? we didn't break it! no but I'm saying do you hafta pay when you go to play pool? do you hafta put money in the machine? do you? that's what grandma wants to know. in the pool game? yeah do you? no, in the, pin ball. pinball no we don't hafta put any money. oh no, play for free huh?
I want you to know you enjoyed your piece of corn. [Missus returns] thank you dear. you're welcome. dad you're eating it! I am? yeah. not only am I eating it young man, I finished it. oh, Steven didn't even eat his corn. and it was delicious! I can't believe it, Steven didn't eat corn. I am gonna eat it! it was the best piece of corn I had all night! you wasn't fair, you eat two of them, I... well, I'm a little bigger than you, since mommy didn't want it... I'm telling... mommy knows, she told me to. but mommy might eat one later. mom! what dear? would you ever want ta eat a corn later? [gm talk to mister in background] no I don't feel like having any corn Steve I had enough. it'd be ready. Steven are you finished with your fish? yeah. yes. okay. mommy said it was alright? yeah.
oh, I'm so glad. what's alright? I didn't say anything. that I ate your piece of fish. oh, your piece of fish, got me bugged already, haha. Steven! you want me to throw this out? no, don't throw Steven out! huh Steven? yes are you sure you don't wanna to eat it? that's right I don't... such delicious fish, it's a pity to throw it out. [gm cuts him off] I hate the fish. hate yourself, I think. gefilte fish you know what gefilte fish means? that means it has gefilte that means it has mud on it. gefilte... fried fish and bread and butter! [calls out in loud voice] fried fish and butter and butter? oo! oo stick butter on fish? blev. if I would oo oo. you got me coughing. Steven finish it so we can get through the dishes. hey grandma, what is this for? [picks up a spoon] we left them, maybe we'll have some dessert later.
after I eat we're having dessert? right. hey maybe you're right, maybe we should eat later. no let's eat now, anyways. finish up. we're gonna eat now, alright? we're all finished. you know what I said? Steve finish you corn so we can get through with the dishes. everything? oh boy. so what did Liz hafta say? [mister and Missus have brief conversation from bath+room. Steve, eats] what dear? you know that is it alright it and mom are you gonna what if you want it later? want what later? corn later. no dear. I don't feel like having any, you can eat it. I said later. I won't want it Steve. 'cause then then when you'll be starving. mom, is Graeme coming back now? yes. what? today? yes, in a little while. you waiting for him? yeah. alright.
how much... sue, you mailed everything today? yes. Jackie, you going down? how, how much is this? no. one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. one two three four five six seven. [as Steve counts mr and mrs continues to talk] no I have seven! Jackie please go down to the bank, you can just go round... do I hafta go right now? because today I'm paying for two months... well I must go right now? I can't go an hour from now, or a half hour from now, it must be right this minute? one two, three, four, five, six, seven. oh I thought you usually go down now. but I'm not going down, I have no intentions of going down. seven seven. one, two, three, four, five, six, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight is these eight fingers? yes. four and four. how much is this? count these. eight, I see, 'cause you have your two thumbs there. one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. [Steven sneezes] seven, oh yes. bless you, get a tissue and give it a good blow. wipe it good.
that allergy is really somet'ing isn't it? oh, that's more that was like a cold. yeah. yeah. that's an allergy. yeah. it's an allergy. he's sneezing though. eat over the table. what? eat over the table, so it it falls, it'll fall on the table not on the chair. okay? nah. yeah. blow good so you'll be comfortable Steve. [Steve sniffles] what's sue doing, Jack? she's cleaning up the, bathroom. bathroom. Steve why don't you just take it and leave it on the table instead of on the back of forth with it. [refers to the tissue] no. I'll get the box. good. that's a good idea. then, when I wanna get the tissues I just pull them out. so I don't hafta go all the way there. right. eat over the table. I know.
you like that corn. when you were a little, little, I'll get it just close your eyes. that's it, you got it, you got it. there you go. he always loved corn, you remember Jackie, couldn't give him enough of it. yeah. I remember we couldn't pull we couldn't pull it away from him once. you were a little baby Steve, and you were on the high chair. you were sitting on the terrace and we gave you a piece of corn. and you ate that corn. and you ate every little bit of it, and there was nothing left, and we tried to pull it away from you and you started yelling and screaming, you wouldn't, wouldn't let us pull it away. you did it when I was finished you tried to grab the cob away. yeah wouldn't let you wouldn't give us the cob. and because there was still more corn. I don't know but you liked it so much, it was the first time you ate corn. what's this. oh, it's really not a summons you said? huh? it's a summons, but it's not a summons that cost you. oh oh. so you haven't fixed it. who are going, Ford people? it's not the real summer right? oh I might. no, my warranty is up. everything I hafta pay for now. oh my. try again and see. how many months is the warranty? miles.
oh what is going hafta be checked? dad, could I have water? what? water. dad could I have water? grandma will give you water. no you give me. car can go a hundred years now it'll never happen. I want you to give me water. I don't know, Ma. why must I get up... this is once before you had that problem, right? no no, no. with the speedometer. dad give me water please. would you give Steven a glass of water please? yes. I want you to. why, the water's any different? I'm standing up Steven. daddy's sitting. isn't that silly? that's so silly. water's not reason, know why? why? 'cause grandma uses it. it's a pity 'cause she makes all the water go out. she makes all the water go out? I don't know. what ever you said doesn't sound too smart to me.

Subsets and Splits

No community queries yet

The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.