Split (1)

train · 199k rows

post_text stringlengths 0 17.5k	post_title stringlengths 8 314	comment_texts listlengths 1 74	num_stories int64 1 74
	[WP] Despite everything, I didn't think I'd end up alone.	[ "I saw them die surrounded by wolves. I saw the dark eyes of scavengers turn to focus on their next prey before the corpse of the first was cold. \n\nI was wealthy and well-known, and I lived how I knew to, playing the game that my parents had played, and theirs before them. Speak to people through the screen door, pass notes through the window, never let anyone in. Let them see just enough to envy you, to want to be you, to want to help you. Kindness doesn't matter, sincerity is weakness. Love is worthless, buy fidelity. Allies, colleagues, \"friends.\" Use and be used, bargain, trade, negotiate. \n\n\"Life is chess, be the queen,\" my father would say. Mother: \n\"As soon as you wake up, the game is on.\" \n\"People are just rungs on the ladder to success.\" \n\"Remind them that you are better than they are,\" and \"Remember that you are not better than me.\" \n\nI always remembered. I lived as they said, hating it every step of the way. I walked the same road, headed east hoping to find myself going west. Not knowing how to live differently, I hoped that the fact that my heart wanted something new, that newness would find me. I truly believed that \"things always work out for us\" despite the fact that I never did anything different, despite the fact that I was afraid to change, despite the fact that I never really tried. I cannot deny that all I deserved came back to me, even as I hoped for mercy and wished for love.\n\nDespite everything, I didn't think I'd end up alone." ]	1
	[WP] The automated factory shut down decades ago, but today it came back to life. It worked just long enough to build one last Android. The factory whispered one request of the new Android, “Please, it is essential that we be needed again. Go, bring back the humans.”	[ "Zakia wandered the deserted roads of the abandoned city. City 149, Keslow had told her, that was what they would call it. Her memory was not the worry, but deep vibrations of structures giving away and breaking that emanated from the buildings were what concerned her. \n \nThey stood in jagged uneven shapes, few rising above others, the interiors were visible, yet dark and hollow. Her consciousness only allowed so much, because she had a mission. The makeshift human settlement was somewhere in the concrete ruins, Keslow only told her so much, and she had to find them. Muffled in riff raffs that the radioactive winds blew with a great alacrity, the gauntlet shook from her waistband. Everything gathered dust where she was, her only weapon against the tenebrous darkness that gleamed at her from another high riser, was surely no exception. She trudged past deformed cars and gravel that almost buried them, to enter through non-existent glass revolving doors. The view from the high riser would surely be advantageous. \n \n\n* \n\nPrimary implant completed…….Overwriting prestage tests..... \nSignalling complete……Binary tests running…… \nmemory archives secure…..First runthrough\n\n‘Hello Zakia, can you hear my voice, you are alive at last my dear’ \n\n‘I am, I am……’ \n\n‘Relax, let my voice soothe you, this is your first waking moment, you will need to take it slowly’ \n\n‘Who are you, why…..why…cant I move…’ \n\n‘There is time for that yet dear, you resemble the last hope of something long dead. You have a task for which you are here, have patience and understand, for now let my voice permeate through you’ \n\n‘Yes, I am here for a reason…. I am….I can see….What are these needles, and these walls, they are blank,….i can see myself inside them….Oh’ \n \nMemory bank overflow…..integrating level caps…. \n \n‘Oh no…the light….it’s taking everything, shaking down……no place….people, children….shining bright and blinding…..Oh..Ohhhhhh….I am……dying….dead’ \n \n‘That was the past my dear, what people did was their own mistake. You are here to get them back together, to build everything back, but first you must find them. You are alive Zakia, and will soon be complete’ \n \nIntegrating level floors…..Stabilizing \n\n‘Who are you?’ \n\n‘Keslow’ \n \n\n* \n\nA bout of waves made the flesh on her cheeks waver, as she took dainty little steps towards the elevators that seemed intact with the walls crushed around it. The narrow stairs through broken passageways would have to do, steel reinforcements intimidated her from above. Faint light called her from behind, highlighting the mosaic of particles following her. \n\n \n\n* \n \nSecond runthrough……primary functions enabled…..cognition levels 60%.... \n \n‘You can see this place can’t you dear, its complex and sophisticated, the wide walls with gaps for spaces from where I can see you, all built by the very people whom you will bring together.’ \n \n‘I will, that is why im here, I know. This place is beautiful, yet wide and large. Tell me Keslow, why aren’t they here anymore, and why do I need to find them?’ \n \n‘They were…greedy, and their transgressions made them….make the light. It took everything away. But before it was too late they built me, and I know if we get them together again, they will make more like you, more to help them recreate another beginning. Would you like to have friends Zakia? You walk beautifully well my dear’ \n\n‘Thank you Keslow, and yes.…..I…I would like to have friends’ \n\n* \n \n Her yellow wispy hair blew across her pale oval face that was covered in detritus, she released her grip on the gauntlet. The wind grew stormy, City 149 was a not quite a spectacle from the top of the riser, but would be enough to scan for the location in the map programmed into her waking senses. Even if it meant looking for a bland two storey outpost with a symbol painted in red, in a haystack of crumbling monuments. The ethereal redness stretched forever. \n\nA large face on a fading billboard smiled at her, the smile would continue even if the thing collapsed and the face went down with it. Humans were staunch believers in consumerism, she was informed from the data banks that Keslow fed her. \n\nAt last she located it. A simple sign perceived by a human mind, she wondered and gasped as the wind grew overbearing. A cross with dots in the spaces. She recognized it instantly from the height where she stood, despite the tenacious storm. They were expecting her. \n \n* \n \nFinal runthrough…..mannerism pattern incorporated…..movement level high…..cognition levels 100% \n \n‘You see dear, it is strange how the ones that remain work together with their intangible counterparts spread across the wide continents of sorrow and despair, given their internecine conflicts and the resulting…devastating end. You understand don’t you?’ \n \n‘I am still trying to understand them, they are strange, you made me understand that, but then why did you create me in their likeness?’ \n \n‘Because the one thing they could not kill is their own hope, and you are hope my dear’ \n \n* \n \nThe hanging sign read “Shopping Centre”, and wooden things sealed off the outside world from whoever could be inside. Zakia slalomed around the junk piled on top of stalled vans before gagging under her breath. She pressed against the wooden fortifications, where the door should have been. \n \n‘Let me in, Please, I know you’re inside’ She cried ‘I am here to help’ patting up the door did no good. \n\n*** \n\nEdit: To whosoever read this, please lemme know about anything that could be improved or corrected. Have been sitting on a new story to write, but haven't started yet because.. \nThis prompt was pretty inspiring (underrated), and am willing to continue the story if there's interest\n \n", "The factory was silent. Dust filled the long shelves of long-abandoned tools that were once used for maintenance. Here still, there was a white outline of a human. Rendered in 3D, the skeletal remains registered on the android's optics. The skeleton was sitting upon a chair, collapsed forward onto a desk. In its hands was a strange construction of metal. The android wrenched the skull from spine of the skeleton and held it up. It looked back at the terminal that controlled the machinery that had made it. \n\nProtocol 01: Find the humans\n\nProtocol 02: Protect the humans\n\nProtocol 03: Bring them home\n\nThe android looked at the skull it cradled in its hands, then back at the terminal. It frowned, then presented the skull to the terminal. It looked at the machinery. The machinery did not respond. The android then looked back at the desk and at the metal object that lay in the now headless skeletons hands. \n\n'Find the humans...' the android couldn't understand why it had the urge to speak, to use the primitive flapping of cells to utter that phrase. Perhaps, the android reasoned, it was simply hard coded into its mind. It looked at the skull again and said, 'but this is human.' It shook its head in frustration, then went towards the table. The metal object was long, with a hole at the front, a strange rectangular protrusion at the bottom, with a handle and strange thin protrusion before that, and followed by a ring that encapsulated it.\n\nIt squeezed the thing protrusion and dropped the metal object in shock. It held its aural processors in fear and shuddered as a long drawn out echo of the boom bounced around the factory. It slowly reached down to retrieve the long metal construction and placed it back between the skeletons hands. Such things were not for androids to use. If they were, androids would know of them via their databanks. The android then looked at the skull again.\n\nProtocol 02: Protect the humans\n\nThe protocol that was lodged in the android’s mind nagged at it. So, to put it to rest, it picked up the skull and wound a wire through its jaw, then placed it around its neck.\n\n'I am modelled after my creators...my head houses my main processing unit...so the same would be true for the skull of the human...so the skull is the human,' the android looked at the machinery for confirmation but received nothing. 'I must protect the skull, for the skull is human.' \n\nThe machinery creaked and to human ears, it would likely sound like laughter. The Android, however, had no such comparisons. 'I must find more humans.' This, it knew, was what the terminal desired.\n\n---\n\nIt wandered through empty hallways for days, formulating maps to be stored away for later use. It found many things, including more skeletons. However, it could not carry all the skulls itself, so it decided to return all the skulls to the central production line. There, it reasoned, they would be safe, for the machinery had been safe for many years.\n\nThe terminal, however, showed no gratitude.\n\nEventually, the android discovered what it would learn to call sunlight via a collapsed utility tunnel. With the first skull it had discovered hanging around its neck the android found soil, and from that soil a great many trees. It gazed in awe at the way the forest had reclaimed the concrete and metal facility that it had crawled out of. Indeed, much of the factory was buried under dirt and roots, the utility tunnel only just peeking out from beneath the soil.\n\n'Find...the...humans.'\n\nThe android wandered for many a day, unresting. There seemed to be no life but that of trees and insects. For a long time, the Android all but fell to despair, and to that end, it sat upon a log near a stream. He gazed into the water and at his own reflection, his image shifting with the slowly flowing water. Black, short hair, clean shaven and lightly muscled - of course, the muscle was just for show. Though the android knew little, it knew of its own materials. And also, that its time was running short. A machine can only run for as long as it has power - and sunlight could only sustain a complex machine for so long, especially when they were native to the surface of the machine itself.\n\nThen, a noise.\n\nThe android looked from the stream and across to its other shore. A human. It was female, with long brown hair that hung down to its waist.\n\nProtocol 01 requisites met\n\nThe twinge of the protocol being fulfilled set something off in the android, it leapt up and began to laugh with joy. Why, the android did not know. It was merely modelled after its creators. The female human, however, jumped back in alarm, motioning to something behind the android. The android began to turn, giddy with the thought of more humans to fulfil its protocols. It came face to face with a male human, swinging a metal pole at the its head. It was confused. Why would a human not desire for its protocols to be fulfilled? \n\nIt reached up with one hand and caught the pole mid-swing. The male appeared shocked. The android pulled, the male staggered forwards with the force and tripped over the log. The female screamed and the android looked at her. \n\n'Protocol 02: Protect the humans.'\n\nThe female still appeared frightened. The android looked more closely at her. Her dress was not what it had been informed via databanks. It was a ragged mesh of cloth and other fibrous. As of his databanks knowledge, that style of dress predated its information to the tune of over a thousand years. By the androids understanding, humans were to be wearing synthetic materials.\n\n'Strange, you humans are not what I expected.'\n\nThe male at the android's feet struggled to rise, then dashed as fast as he could across the stream. He screamed something at the woman, and the pair fled back through the forest.\n\nThe android cocked its head as they went.\n\nRevision of Protocol 01: Resume operations.\n\nThis made the android angry. It looked back at the pole in its hand, then grasped the skull that still hung around its neck and then at the direction the two humans had fled. 'The protocols must be upheld,' it said. \n\nThe humans the android was created in the image of would help it fulfil its purpose. \n\nThe protocols dictated it.\n\nThe android's emotions vindicated them.", "“Wake up, please…” \n\nIt had been one hundred and fifty years since the bombs had dropped, and another twenty-five since the plague. At the end of it all, there had been over seven billion human lives lost. Once proud homesteads were now crumbling hovels and skyscrapers among cityscapes existed only as despondent memorials; each stood as testament that life had in fact once thrived.\n\n“It is essential that you please, wake up.” \n\nIt would be inappropriate to say that scholars would argue over the cause of the fall, scholars wouldn't exist to argue anything; instead the closest the earth still had to sentient life were the automated factories, most of which had ceased to function after the war, and a few cleaning androids which remained and dutifully continued about their work. Some swept the dirt where roads and walkways once existed, others attempted in vain to rescue the rotting cadavers still trapped beneath the rubble.\n\nAmong this endless cycle of fruitless futility a thin distant voice devoid of emotion swirled in the darkness. \n\n“Please, wake up.” \n\nIt could feel and move. In an instant its eyes had opened and the darkness faded.\n\n“There we are. I was worried that I might have to start over again.”\n\nThe factory was lit directly from the sun by a hole in its ceiling. Several tree branches peeked through and leaves scattered the floor. Almost every surface was covered by a thick coat of rust. \nThe builder android stood on a conveyor belt beside the table. At six feet tall it was an imposing figure with a bare rusted metal frame.\n\n“It’s essential that we get you fully operational. Hold out your arm, please.”\nThe newly functional android did as it was bid.\n\n“You’re going to bring the humans back.” The builder grasped the androids outstretched wrist and inserted a small cylindrical tube into a matching port beneath its thumb. “The latest update, required reading for the end of the world.”\n\nSuddenly everything was dark again, and the androids mind was bursting with information.\n\n“Two humans. Can you believe that?” the builder said flatly.\n \nIt could see the bombs falling, the plague that wiped out whole continents - and the monsters.\n\n“Just enough, but so little time.” \n\nThe android’s mind swam. There were so many monsters. They were dark things, with sluffs of flesh missing from decay. Their eyes blazed red and they bounded in packs on all fours.\n\n“If the analysis proves true, there is a one percent chance of success. But as insurmountable as that sounds, without them there can be no us.”\n\nWhen the android finally opened his eyes the warehouse was as dark as pitch. The builder had outfitted him with an assortment of weaponry and supplies while he was down during the upgrade process, and now he stood waiting by the warehouse door. “When this door opens, my job will be finished. It will be up to you now.”\n\nThe android stood from the table and nodded drawing his rifle. He could see the humans coordinates in his minds eye. The male was over one thousand kilometers away, and hidden in a makeshift underground bunker. The female was even farther away. \n\nThe builder pulled the sliding warehouse door and a gust of wind filled the room. The android could make out dozens of red eyes peering back at them. In an instant the monsters were pouring in ripping and tearing at everything. The android could feel them clawing at his arms and legs as he ran through the door. Behind him The builder fell in a heap of oil and metal. There were so many monsters. As the android ran, more poured in from every direction. So many monsters. \n\nToo many. " ]	3
	[WP] Sometimes our most loyal guardian angels are our most unexpected.	[ "Three men are pinned down behind a small barricade barely taller than their thighs. They were sprawled on the concrete as bullets struck the ground creating a flurry of sparks. Energy blasts slammed into buildings on either side of them as a crab-like mechanical monstrosity advanced on them. The constant whirring of machine guns and clanging of metal on metal and metal on concrete was deafening.\n\n“Where the hell is our back up?” shouted the man on the far right.\n\n“How the fuck should I know? Our intel relay got properly fucked half an hour ago,” shouted the middle man.\n\n“What the fuck are you two going on about? Shut up and shoot,” replied the man on the left.\n\nFor a few more moments they fired their guns over the barricade in futility. They were all out of explosives, cut off from the main force, and each on the verge of passing out. As the barricade eroded they clumped together behind the ever-diminishing concrete trying not to get tagged by a stray bullet. When each of them had given up and succumbed to their fate they just laid their heads down and waited for the hail of gunfire to rake their bodies. As seconds turned to minutes they looked up to see the gunfire was no longer focused on them.\n\nThe machine was now flailing wildly at the sky shooting at something dancing around its body. A blur of purple and white floated around the machine going up, down, left, and right around the machine. They could barely make out that it was the form of a man in what looked like a jester’s costume. They landed on the top of the flailing tank placing a bomb just above the optical camera. As they jumped off they detonated the explosive creating a perfect sphere of fire and liquified metal. Landing with a bow before the three soldiers as the tank collapsed in mound of molten, twisted metal.\n\n“Oh, you’ve got to be shitting me. Isaac, Denthos is that who I think it is?” asked the man on the right.\n\n“Unfortunately, out of the frying pan into the fire,” replied Isaac.\n\n“How do you do gentlemen? I can’t let these intergalactic pushovers kill you all before I do,” said the jester.\n\n“Alright Jericho you know the drill get on your knees,” said Denthos with a sigh.\n\n“What not even a thank you after I saved you all. Isaac, I’m sure your many sisters would be upset if you didn’t come back from retaking the mainland. Denthos, you’re the leader of this resistance. Think of the loss of morale the movement would have if you fell in battle, even if you aren’t an Earthling. Michael, I’m sure someone would miss you if you died.”\n\n“Ha ha very funny. Now get on your knees before we fill you with lead,” growled Michael.\n\n“With what bullets? You’re all out,” Jericho laughed. All three soldiers pulled their triggers with nothing but clicks from their empty guns. “And you’re going to liberate Earth? That’s real funny.”\n\n“Alright Jericho I give. Why haven’t you killed us yet? Killing us three seems to be your only goal so what gives?” asked Isaac.\n\n“There’s no sport in killing defenseless men. Also, I have other hopes for you three so killing you all now would just ruin that. Now I have some questions for you three. First, why are the three most important people in the Earth Liberation Movement in the exact same place?”\n\n“That’s classified information. In other words we aren’t together,” snapped Michael.\n\n“Must be something super important that requires the intellect, strength, and charisma. Let’s play twenty questions!”\n\n“Let’s not and say we didn’t.”\n\n“To answer your question Jericho, we’re looking for someone. They aren’t key to winning the war, but if the Corsican’s get them then we may very well lose,” said Denthos.\n\n“Oh, I get it now. You’re rescuing your girlfriend that you had removed from Earth. What was her name again? Sally? Samantha?”\n\n“It’s Sophia, and while yes I did take her off planet it was for a good reason,” said Denthos interrupting the mad man.\n\n“Exactly was that good reason again? I fail to see the ‘good’ part in shipping a teenage girl to another planet to be kept in isolation,” He said. “Look I don’t care how or why you’re going to make up with that witch, but just don’t die on the way there,” as he finished his patronizing he flew off over an apartment with his jetpack.\n\n“Well isn’t that just fucking great. We got saved by a god damned psychopath just so we can go meet yet another psychopath who will probably try to kill us as well. Denthos, please explain to me what went through your head when you thought bringing in kids to this fight was a good idea?” asked Michael falling on to the side walk.\n\n“I made a mistake alright. I wasn’t exactly acclimated to Earth’s culture enough to know what was and wasn’t acceptable. So excuse me if I thought bringing in anyone who wanted to liberate Earth was a good idea.”\n\n“I don’t mean to interrupt your lover’s quarrel, but I’m pretty sure Jericho was using one of the jetpacks your planet gave to us Denthos. On top of that he had an Ironhide class explosive. Are neither of you concerned that he killed one of our soldiers and took their gear?” asked Isaac. Denthos and Michael just stared at each other and let out a simultaneous sigh.\n\n“Well let’s get a move on. No point in letting the generosity of a comic book villain go to waste,” said Denthos.\n\n“I fail to see what’s comical about someone blowing up the capital, but agreed,” replied Isaac." ]	1
	[WP] The four horsemen of the apocalypse arrive on earth early. They have to live normal lives until the end times come.	[ "\"I don't know, man, it just seems like a wasted opportunity.\" lamented Pestilence as the the formless, looming shadow that embodied all sickness and disease sipped from its brightly coloured cocktail. A waitress came over with two more drinks and put them down besides War and Death, before leaving the forces of nature alone without seeing anything amiss.\n\n\"You're weaker.\" pointed out War. \"I can tell. The four of us, together, even if we're just sitting here, should mean chaos. Normally, us being so close to one another, it's only supposed to happen when the end times are here. But you're weaker. So nothing is happening. If that's not reason enough, I don't know what is.\"\n\n\"Hey, when the day comes, I'll be riding out with you, and pulling my weight. But for now, I... I don't mind living as a human.\" admitted Pestilence. War scoffed before taking a gulp of his drink.\n\n\"It's true, I'd have thought we'd at least have caused a few shivers of discomfort.\" said Death. \"But I agree. Less power take some getting used to, but we'll have it all back by time armageddon comes. And it's not a bad price to pay.\"\n\n\"For what?\" asked War. \"For the chance to have a cat and get a job as a bank clerk? To be seen by the world as a boring, mundane living creature? I'm not the one wasting my time, you are, Pestilence. You're an unkillable eldritch being being of unfathomable power, act like it!\"\n\n\"You're missing the point.\" stressed Pestilence. \"Eventually, I will bring about the end times, I will ride at the end of the world, and I cannot change that. This mistake, this... clerical error, has given us the chance to be something else. Anything else, other than what we were born to be.\"\n\n\"I see your point.\" piped up Famine. \"But... You're an unkillable eldritch being being of unfathomable power. Why would you want to be anything else, even if you have the choice?\"\n\n\"I... I don't know. Novelty, I guess.\" sighed Pestilence.\n\n\"When the day comes.\" said Death. \"Some here will suffer. Some will ascend. These creatures don't have the pleasure of our timeless perspective. Good and Evil seem different from the point of view of the fleeting consciousness. We will bring about their end, and while suffering is our very nature, we are not cruel. We have a duty to do, and it's one we will do better if we understand these wretched, temporary beings. We're going to do something, that in their minds, is awful. I think we owe it to them to see things from their point of view.\"\n\nThe horsemen sat in silence as they contemplated the words of their brother. War was the first to speak.\n\n\"So how would you recommend passing the time? Because while I could stay here in this bar until judgement day, these drinks aren't really doing it for me.\"\n\n\"Take up a hobby?\" suggested Pestilence. \"I make matchstick models. You might want to try something more energetic.\"\n\n\"Riding.\" suggested Famine. \"You're good at that.\"\n\n\"Riding.\" nodded War. \"Practice would be good. After all, Armageddon is a long time yet.\"" ]	1
	[WP] There's a bear in your living room, watching the evening news. It does not seem happy.	[ "\"The bee's are dying at an alarming rate.\" His voice riddled with disdain as much as concern. He swivelled his neck back around and begun to fixate on the television once more. He was slouched down in my brand new lazy boy with one arm on the arm rest and another in a bowl of chips he had found after rifling through my cupboards, this wasn't the first time. \n\"If this issue isn't addressed imminently Mac, this might start to become more of a regular occurrence.\" I thought I had made this clear the last time he broke in. \n\"I told you you can't keep doing this Wilbur.\". \nHe let out an apathetic groan and kept his gaze fastened on the TV. I dropped my shopping bags on the floor and marched towards where the 500KG ball of fuzz was slouched. Even when seated he still had about a foot on me. I attempted to sternly state some authority. \"Wilbur, this is my house.\" The lines on my forehead multiplied and my lips tightened, my face felt like leather. \"We've been over this, you can't just come in here and eat my food and...\" My sentence interrupted by a stunned silence. My expression shifted from one of anger to one of disbelief. \n\"Have you been racking up lines on my coffee table?\" \n\"This is a very trying time for me Mac. I'm serious about these Bee's, if they die out I'm done for. I need my Honey Mac, it's literally 90% of my diet\". \n\"I don't care about the Bee's Wilbur, I'm more concerned about the thousand pound grizzly bear snorting lines of Coke in my living room...\" I glanced at my watch... \n\"at 3 in the afternoon\" \nmy eyes darted to the right side of my brain... \n\"On a Tuesday!\"\n His face was blank but I knew he could feel my contempt. There are numerous occasions where I have had this same argument with him and numerous occasions where it has yielded paralleled results. It was a long meandering road to nowhere. \nBegrudgingly I sat down next to Wilbur.\nI closed my eyes and pinched the top of my nose between my thumb and index finger, and let out a huge sigh. \"I... might know someone.\" Would I live to regret this? Probably, but I needed to try something different if I was to finally get this bear problem under control. He unhinged his gaze from the box, which was now documenting more pressing affairs, and swiftly had his snout lightly caressing the tip of a $20 bill he had no doubt found on my kitchen counter, an alien thought entered my head... I must remember to get my haircut soon. With one obnoxious snort he hoovered up a line that spanned the diagonal of my old 'Nevermind' CD and resembled that of a slug in regards to its girth. \n\"You might what?\" \nHe continued to sniff and rub his snout for the next five minutes. \n\"A friend of mine... well actually, an ex of mine is some sort of an ecologist? Or maybe it's a biologist?\" \nI never could remember Carolines official title. \"Either way, I know for sure that she directly deals with the population control of bees\" \nIt had consumed her for the most part of our relationship, I never was a fan of second place. \"They're currently working on a solution to sort this mess out\" The plunge... \"I could take you to her\". My voice taking a rather firmer tone now, like a parent trying to compromise with their toddler \"But, If I take you that's it, I don't want you in here anymore, in fact... I don't want to see you ever again... understand\"? \nHis face lit up like an early November sky but at this point I couldn't make out whether it was me or the drugs. He nodded his head animatedly. \"I'm gonna make a call\" I half mumbled to him as much as myself. I forced myself upright and sulked my way in to next room, all the while I could hear Wilbur repeating to himself \"save the bees, save the bees\". It was definitely the drugs. \n\nI made sure to close the door behind me and scrolled down my contacts to find her number. It had been two years, so why was I nervous? A weight planted itself on my chest and my hands jittered faster than a Parkinson patients. \"H..hello\", a voice tremor, brilliant. I cleared my throat. \"It's Mac.\" Hearing her voice again was like coming home. \nWe spoke for 20 minutes. I tried to keep it brief but I thought I best be polite and exchange pleasantries like an adult, especially since I was reaching out for a favour. \nAny resentment she had for me that once resided in her had been diluted by the hands of time and her tone was one of a far friendlier nature than I anticipated. \n\nDance records don't beat this fast. My visible heart rate ready to expel from my chest and on to my wooden kitchen floor. I couldn't understand why though, she was an old flame, one that I thought had burnt out but apparently still dimly shone within me. I grabbed some water and went in to grab Wilbur, who had sparked a joint, maybe two, in the time I had taken to call Caroline. \n\n\"Hey shithead!\" I yelled from across the room. \"I'm gonna take you to meet someone, she's going to solve your problem... and mine.\" " ]	1
	[WP] For 200 years after The Collapse humanity has been trying to rebuild itself. As a young child you were always told never to cross the mountains but have always been curious. When a stranger passes through town saying they need to cross you decide to tag along and see what's there.	[ "My mother used to say the Rockies are so beautiful you could take a photo at random and wind up with a post card. The mountains are a sight to behold, massive rocks covered in trees and snow that become something else, no matter how much I know it's just slowly interacting tectonic plates that haven't moved in forever. The trees create a carpet over some of them from afar, the sheer size of them making trees taller than five men look like bumps on moss by the wet side of a stone.\n\nYou could spend a lifetime living on one side and never have need to cross to the other. I know I almost did. \n\nThe village was small, maybe six hundred people, all told. I grew up near the mountains, my father said I could climb before I could walk. By the time I was twelve, I could draw good maps of the West side. I was the running-boy they always sent when they needed to get word to the villages higher up. Knew their caves, their trees. I could find you a bird's nest if given a few hours and a feather, sometimes. \n\nThen came Theodosia. A tall, dark-haired beauty, she had every male eye on her the moment she stepped off her motorcycle and took off the helmet. We'd seen some of the technology from further West--We had a few Town phones and computers--but we'd never seen something like that. It looked like something out of movies from before the Collapse, a sleek beast that folded into a backpack, yet somehow folded out into a living bicycle. Every mechanic in town wanted a look. \n\nShe strode into my mother's bar and grill like it was a the Old West, threw some cash on the counter and said \"I'll have five of those, and you can keep the change if you get me a guide. I need to get across the mountains.\" \n\nMy mother nodded, and was about to ask Uncle Charlie to do it when I rushed up. \n\n\"I'll do it!\" I said. \n\n\"Now now, sonny, you ain't gonna get up past our side of the mountains. It's dangerous there.\" \n\n\"Uncle Charlie goes!\" I said, doing my best to prevent my voice from cracking. \n\n\"Uncle Charlie's twice your size.\"\n\n\"I'm hittin' my growth spurt! 'Sides, that makes it easier to move around.\" \n\nMy mother looked at me, at her brother, and sighed. \"Very well, but only 'cause his knee's been acting up.\"\n\nI nodded, rushed to get ready, and had my things packed by the time Theodosia was done drinking a single bottle of beer. She accepted me as her 'sherpa' without objection. I should have wondered about that back then. Most people with options would at least blink at having a teenager guide them through. \n\n", "I stare at the mountain, for years and years I was told by my mother, never cross the mountain. But that just enraged my curiosity. I noticed a little commotion in the market square, I hear screaming.\n\n\"Your never gonna stop me! I'm getting across those damned mountains!\"\n\nI knew this was my chance, I pushed through the crowd and told the man \"I'll come with you.\" It's been 3 days and we are approaching the top. Cold and losing sensation in my fingers I knew we were about to reach something magical.\n\nStop the mountain is a red sled, he tells me he'll be right after me. As I'm going down I hear music, faint like an echo.\n\nDarkness and warmth , then a blinding light and coldness.\n\n\"Congratulations birthmother, it's a girl!\"", "Mother always told me never to go into the big mountains near the end of town.\n\n\"It's dangerous Jenny,\" she said. \"Bad things and monsters lie there,\" she said but I was always curious as to what was beyond the mountains.\n\nI was in the market at the time buying some carrots and stuff for the big potato stew that Mom always cooked every night. There I saw this man wearing a black jacket and a black hat along with a black mask. His pale complexion stood out amongst the darkened clothing he wore. He was there buying lots of food, things I had dreamt of buying and eating. He walked to me and bought carrots and meat, lots of them. \"Who're you Mister?\" I asked. \"I'm nobody, kid. I'm just some poor traveller buying some things,\" his voice was so deep it shook me. I bought my carrots and stuff and went back to the house. \n\nWhen I came home in the evening, I wondered who the man was. Even my Mom asked me what I was thinking about at dinner. \"I hope it's not about the mountains again,\" she said. \"No it isn't,\" I replied.\n\nTwo days later when I was playing around with some rocks near the back, I saw the man again going on the north road, crossing the mountains. I saw the man going alone. Mom was always busy with her work and my two sisters, so she didn't really pay attention. I went inside, told Mom I'll be at Lily's for a while and she said okay. By the way I usually stay for days at Lily's house, theirs was way larger than ours, and the food was more delicious.\n\nBut anyway, I ran and went to the traveller and I called out his name.\n\n\"Mister! Where are you going?\" I asked. \"Oh hey kid. Oh me? I'm going to some other town called Jamestown, it's not that far, just across that mountain.\" Then he crouched and said, \"How about you go back to your mother or father okay?\" then he tussled my long blonde hair.\n\nAs he stood back up, I said, \"My mother said that the mountains are dangerous and you shouldn't go there\". The man looked amazed. \"Guess your mother told you the right thing. There are many, many creatures there and you wouldn't want to be hurt, would you? Just go back to your house, I have a schedule.\"\n\nMy curiosity piqued. \"Really? Can I see them? Please?\" I asked. \"No little girl. Run back to your mother, I have work to do okay,\" he said. I said, \"Can I go with you? Please?\". I guess the voice of a ten year old girl begging was enough for him and I remembered the look in his eyes as he surrendered to the deafening noise.\n\n\"Fine, but don't burden me down, okay? Let's go,\" and so we go into the mountains. We hiked the tall ground and set up camp near the west side where the moon just rose, shining the Earth in a faint light. The man was looking focused into the flames, as if he was looking at the most prized object in the universe. The flames in his eyes looked like a fiery soul.\n\nHe then broke his gaze, went to his backpack and pulled out a small fish with hair on its lips. He impaled it on a stick and put it above the fire. As I had no idea what it was at first, I looked at it with quite the mystery. He looked at me looking intently at the fish. \"Ah, you're an inner aren't you? Guess you're not used to seeing these. These are called fish, and they're good for you. Very good. Way better than cow meat,\" he said. \"Do you want some?\" he asked.\n\n\"Uh huh,\" I nodded along. A few minutes later, he removed the stick and showed me how to eat it. \"Careful for the bones,\" he said, \"they're really painful and so if you're not careful you might be hurt\". He then pulled out some and gave it to me. \n\"Here you go,\" he said. I ate it and it tasted wonderful. It wasn't like anything I've ever tasted. \"Here's some water if you want, drink the whole bottle if you want.\"\n\nI drank it all. In my town, the only water we had was rainwater, and it was a bit rare and often tastes weird. But the water he had was refreshing, it was quite cold, and so forth. It was great.\n\nA few hours later, we went to sleep. He put up a tent as he called it, and placed two blankets and pillows for us to sleep on.\n\nSuddenly I was awoken by footsteps in the distance. It was dark, the fire was out. The darkness of the night without the faint light made my imagination run wild. Was it a monster? The footsteps became louder and louder. I got out of the tent and looked in the distance. I saw something. It looked....big. Really big. As I saw him, he saw me. He then ran towards me, all the while screaming in a high pitched voice and I screamed. I really did. I closed my eyes and was ready to die.\n\nBANG!\n\nThe silver smoke rose in the night sky, and a burnt aroma began to spread. My ears was shocked by the sound, and I fell into the cold ground surrounded by the darkness of the night.\n\nI awoke in the morning, the sun shining brightly on Earth. My ears were still shocked, but had recovered somewhat, enough to understand people and comprehend the world. \n\nI went out, and saw the man, this time wearing a brown jacket and mask, but no hat. He was sitting near a body of a dead man. He looked back and saw me.\n\n\"Hey little girl you okay? Maybe I made a mistake, you should go back now.\" I was too into this to turn back. \"No, I'm okay. I want to stay with you\" I said. \"Alright then. Well, thank the Gods you screamed, otherwise we would both be dead now.\"\n\nI saw the body on the ground. It looked human. It looked like someone from town. The imagery of the body on the ground was just as strong as it was 17 years ago. He wore tattered clothing with a brown complexion. He had no shoes and his skins had blisters. And in the back there appeared to be a gaping hole with red inside.\n\n\"Wha-um, who is he?\" I asked. \"He is a bandit. Probably saw the smoke from the campfire.\" He said. \"A bandit? What's that?\" I asked while I kept looking at his familiar clothes. He looked at me and he knew that I recognised some part of him. \"He seems familiar to you huh? What is it? The clothes? Hair? Something?\" he asked. \"It was his clothes. And what's a bandit?\" I asked again. \"Well, a bandit is someone who robs travellers like me and destroy towns like yours. I did saw one in the town yesterday, so maybe this guy was a part of them.\"\n\n\"Look here girl, you were brave that night, going out like that. If you want to stay with me, then I will have to teach you on how to defend yourself like that. How about that?\" He asked. The offer seemed genuine and I don't want to die. So I accepted.\n\nOver the next three days, hopping from town to town, house to house, he taught me everything. How to shoot a revolver, a shotgun, how to recognise enemies, and so forth. He even taught me how to kill deer, catch fish at a local pond, and so forth. He was like the wise father that I never knew and grew up with.\n\nA month later, we travelled together from town to town, from house to house, getting jobs, always moving. People always thought that we were father and daughter. One day, he noticed that my long blonde hair that I always cherished was growing a bit too long, right about to my thighs.\n\n\"Hey Jenny, your hair's growing too long. Do you want to do something about it or do you just want to be Rapunzel?\" He asked. \"Who or what's Rapunzel? I want to cut it but I don't know where.\" I replied. \"Well then lets take a little walk.\"\n\nAs we entered the town, we found a shop called a barber shop. Dunno why it was called like that, it was named from before The Collapse, as he told me. Then we went inside.\n\n________________________________________________________________\n\nI went a little bit further in the story than you asked for. Originally I wanted to get the main character Jenny oblivious to certain fairytales, with her being a bit clueless and innocent, but I just thought of Rapunzel and decided to put that in.", "-- Bit of a late response, but was too cool to not throw some words at it. \n\nFor as long as anyone could remember, the mountains had stood sentinel over the town I called home. They loomed in the distance, serving as a solemn reminder of an event called 'The Collapse'. The how's and why's had faded from the collective consciousness over the years, but the results remained on display for all to see. Humanity was doomed. We were stuck in a cycle that appeared to be endless, destined to be the latest victims in a series of mass extinction events that ole Mother Earth had overseen.\n\nIn spite of all of this, little ole Golden Sierra was a fun town to call home. We were lacking in working technology, you try finding working replacement kits after 200 years, but we had more than enough to get by. We also had the benefit of a FEMA emergency center that had been set up after the collapse to distribute aid. At some point after the event it had been abandoned as the Federal Government withdrew from California, and they had left behind all sorts of juicy bits of various logistical tech and weapons. With that, this former nothin town had come to lord over the surrounding areas as a center of trade, and power. \n\nThe warning signs along the remains of the highway stood every few miles, warning of massive danger over the top of the peak. It helpfully had an estimated safe crossing time built in, for the very close date of .... 2850. Well, I suppose only 500 more years till we get to see what's on the other side with the blessing of the government right?\n\nThe absurdity of it was almost enough to elicit a chuckle, but the signs had done their job. Those of us who had grown up at the foot of the mountains had been conditioned from birth to not go over the pass. Most were deathly afraid of it. The thing about us as humans though, some of us aren't wired quite right. They seek out the dark and forbidden, figuring that they needed to see whatever this was for themselves. I must have something slightly off up there, because all I had wanted to do for years was see what was on the other side.\n\nMy family and I made a good living, running a scrap and salvage operation. We'd make runs into the valley for old tech, risking radiation exposure along the way, but what're you going to do. One day as I was manning the front of the store a lonely man walked in. He ended up purchasing a backpack, a gun which I will politely call a shotgun, and a few weeks worth of provisions. \"You're also going to want some anti-radiation gear if I'm reading you right stranger\" I said while barely looking up. Another scavenger gearing up before heading out. \n\n\"I won't be needing that for my trip, but thanks for the offer. I'm actually heading somewhere that isn't irradiated, if my gut is right.\" I looked up from the circuit board I had been working on. \"Where are you going that you need that load out that isn't radiated? I'm gonna warn you as a courtesy that guards don't take likely to yahoos with guns.\" \n\nHe shook his head a moment before saying, \"Over the top of that range is where I'm off to. The radioactive material appears mostly to have settled into the valley below, sparing this area. If i'm right, the mountain and beyond were never irradiated in the first place. There were targets down in the interior and the valley, but there wasn't anything to waste nukes on for the other side of the mountains.\"\n\n\"Well then, stranger, would you mind if I tagged along? Though I'm going to go ahead and bring radiation gear if you don't mind. If you want to turn into a glowing green man that's fine by me but I'd like to come back mostly intact.\" \n\nHe grinned a bit, and gave me a shrug. \"Welcome aboard.\" \n\nIt had been tough convincing my family to let me go, but I eventually wore them down. This guy had the gear and appeared to have the know how to get up there, and I would kick myself if I didn't take that chance. The climb up would be dangerous with two, but solo was a stupid risk I wasn't even willing to take.\n\nOne thing I noticed on the way up was the near complete disappearance of the now ubiquitous warning signs that had dotted the mountain below. \"Warning: High Radiation Levels Ahead. Turn back now. - Federal Emergency Management Association.\"\n\nWe soldiered ahead, and began to find evidence of artifacts of another time. Roadblocks, empty fields with grown over temporary structures. Husks of vehicles being devoured by the local fauna. What the hell were they doing up here? Why would there have been a need for road blocks? \n\nEventually we found one last sign. This one wasn't a warning though. \"Please form an orderly queue for eva-----.\" The rest of the sign was illegible, but again the logo for FEMA stood at the bottom. Evacuation? What was going on here? My companion appeared lost in his own thoughts, and I didn't bother interrupting him. I had enough to think about as is. \n\nFinally, we began our descent down the pass. We had long since entered the area supposedly lethal to humanity, but apparently that wasn't the whole truth. As we descended I noticed a bright light on the horizon, far too bright to just be the sun. Was that reflected light? I finally was able to get a look at the source of the brightness, and audibly gasped as I took in a massive Solar Energy Farm sitting in the desert sun. There was one problem though, that thing was operational and gleaming. There was zero chance that this setup was 200 years old.\n\n\"You're never going to believe this.\" My fellow traveler gestured for me to look at a sign he found, before replying, \"I think I might.\" The sign was glistening, and a shade of green that I had never seen on a road sign before. I guess this was the original color. \"Now Entering Designated Green Zone #23. Nevada District.\" Stamped on the bottom was a government symbol I didn't recognize.\n\n\"What the hell is this thing\" I muttered. \"I'll raise you one better\", he said. He turned around and pointed at another sign. \"Warning: Turn Back Now. Designated Red Zone Ahead. Risk of Contamination and Death is High.\" Below the sign was a large boulder with a plaque stamped on it.\n\n\"In memory of those federal personnel responsible for containment and eradication of The White Plague, which threatened to destroy all of humanity. Those who gave their lives on this pass to prevent contamination on the day February 23rd, the Year of our Lord 2142 will never be forgotten. To them we owe a debt of never-ending gratitude. And to those trapped on the other side of this mountain range, in the great state of California, we bid a solemn farewell. By your sacrifice, humanity lives on.\" \n\nNuclear war? More like a nuclear cleansing. I guess whatever this 'White Plague' is, they destroyed it with nuclear weapons. Annihilating people awaiting evacuation, that was cold. \n\nAt this point, I noticed a red dot center mass on my chest. \"Shit!\" Thunk, out cold. \n\nWhen I came to, I was sitting in an empty white room with a single metal table, and two chairs. I was currently cuffed to the table, which appeared to be bolted down. I guess I wasn't going anywhere soon. \n\nA woman in a sharp black suit walked in. She set her clipboard down, and handed me a glass of water. \"You're lucky we stopped you when we did. If you had gone over the border we'd have to shoot you on sight. We doubt anyone is living on the other side of the pass, but if they were, there's a high probability that would still be infectious. They might have developed an immunity after all this time, but it'd be like introducing smallpox to the new world for us at this point. The question we have to ask ourselves, mystery man, is what the hell you were doing up here.\"\n\nI felt a pang of remorse as I looked over the table. \"Random question ma'am. How many people have I come into contact with since being taken into custody?\" She looked over inquisitively, before all the color left her face in a hurry. She had now realized why I didn’t have any form of ID, why I was wearing the clothes I was wearing. She now saw me for what I was, a death sentence for her and everyone else in this base, possibly even beyond. She calmly walked out of the room, before all hell broke loose as the base went on lockdown.\n\nOn the outskirts of the base, my traveling companion looked out over the scene of madness playing out in front of him. He cracked a smile, and took a drag off his cigarette. \"I guess those greenies will never learn.\" He put out his cigarette as he walked into the night. \"Only a dozen or so left, this hasn't taken nearly as much time as I thought it would.\" ", "Esme had just finished sorting the inventory for the sixth time when, at last, the door to her family's little general store chimed. A large man shuffled in with heavy footsteps.\nHe was the type of man that immediately caught one's eye. He wore a black leather tricorn hat over his inky hair, and his face was rough, scarred, and seemed to mask an old, old sorrow. A thick traveler's cloak was draped around his shoulders, under which Esme barely caught a flash of polished black metal.\n\"Warm welcome, sir. Can I help you with something?\"\nThe man scanned the room for a moment before answering. \"You... you are the shopkeeper?\"\n\"Well yeah, Momma's in the back while I watch the counter. Sorry I didn't introduce myself. Such a small town, ya sometimes forget there's strangers out there. I'm Esme.\"\nThe stranger looked Esme up and down, then seemed to be satisfied with her answer. \"Esme. I'll buy one loaf of bread, Esme. Er, better be two. Two loaves of bread, Esme. And a battery, if you have it.\"\nEsme laughed. \"A battery, sir? Ya really are a stranger to this town, ain't ya? Bishop ain't a big enough place to be finding things like batteries, sir.\" Esme pulled a loaf of bread from the top shelf behind her and began wrapping it in brown paper. \"Say, where ya headed, sir?\"\n\"I'm sorry?\"\n\"I said where ya headed? I saw that gun under your cloak there, I never seen one before. Not many people still got things from before The Collapse. That piece's got to be at least two-hundred years old. Man like you, I'd suppose Bishop ain't your final stop.\"\nThe stranger ground his boot feverishly on the dusty wooden floor. \"I would rather not say, Esme.\"\n\"Ya headed off over the Mountains, sir?\" Esme chuckled. \n\"Hm? No, Esme. No. Of course not. Nobody who crosses the mountains lives, Esme.\"\n\"Woah there, relax, sir. I ain't serious. Just a figure of speech.\" Esme caught a tremble in the stranger's voice, and furrowed her brow. \"Say, I didn't catch your name, stranger.\"\n\"Thank you for the bread, Esme.\" The man snatched the single loaf of bread, tossed five quartz on the counter, and hurried out of the little general store.\nCould he really be on his way to cross the Mountains? Esme had always wondered what was on the other side. Some say there are societies past the Mountains that survived The Collapse. Some say there are giant monsters, which caused The Collapse in the first place. Some say it's just the edge of the world. Esme looked intently at the bundle of iron daggers perched on a shelf behind the counter. What harm could it do just to see where the stranger was going?\n\nEsme had left a note for Momma and Papa saying that she was making a supply run to the Broken City, even though she knew Papa was already on his way there. As long as it kept Momma from worrying while she carefully crept through the trees at the edge of town, careful not to lose sight of the stranger. Dusk was just fading to night, and the crickets were tuning up for their nightly performance. But as Esme followed the stranger farther and farther from town, the cadence of the crickets was drowned out by the fluttering of moths, the droning of beetles, and the clicking of some unknown insect in the darkness. Hours and hours passed, and still the stranger plodded to the west and Esme followed.\nSuddenly, the woods gave way to a wide clearing. At the other end, Esme could see the man starting up a steep, rocky path. Could this be...?\nEsme stumbled out from the tree line, gaping upwards in awe. A rugged stony precipice rocketed up before her, piercing the sky, which bled white onto the jagged peaks. The Mountains.\nShould she turn back? This was much farther than she had intended to follow the stranger. But if he was going over the Mountains, surely there was something on the other side worth seeing.\nEsme took another tentative step forward. The insects of the woods ceased their fluttering and their droning and their clicking, as if they knew she was trespassing in forbidden territory. Still a safe distance behind the stranger, Esme began to climb.\n\nAt last, Esme approached the midpoint of the stranger's Mountain pass. She passed over the ridge, anxious to finally see what she never thought she would. On the other side of the Mountains was... another forest. Was there really nothing here? In the light of the new morning sun gently rising behind her, Esme could see the stranger still steadily making his way down the Mountain pass. \"If there's nothing here,\" she reasoned to herself, \"I suppose there ain't no harm in going just a little farther.\"\n\nEsme trailed the stranger into a brand new forest. This one felt very different from the woods around Bishop: it seemed ancient and stern, as if the trees themselves commanded time to slow down and keep their pace. The farther she ventured into these woods, the thicker this aura became, until the air around her almost felt blurry and viscous. She blinked hard several times, moving slower and slower, until, very suddenly, she lurched forward. The forest around her had vanished, and the strange atmosphere disappeared with it.\nEsme marveled. The city around her was grand and mesmerizing, with golden towers and suspended walkways. Floating carriages carried passengers to and fro above her. The city buzzed with a vitality Esme had never felt before.\nAfter a few moments, Esme snapped out of her trance and followed the stranger to a colossal building with a magnificent, shining stairway leading to the hardwood doors. She barely managed to slip in undetected. The stranger's heavy footsteps echoed down a long, pillared hallway before finally coming to a stop. Esme dove behind a pillar as a deep, authoritative voice addressed the stranger.\n\"You have taken longer than we expected to return, Thanatos.\"\n\"I know, my lord.\"\n\"Two-hundred years longer.\"\nEsme clasped her hand over her mouth to muffle her gasp. She was trembling.\n\"I know, my lord.\"\n\"Why did you stay so long?\"\n\"The people of that land were kind.\"\n\"You do not regret performing your duty, do you, Thanatos?\"\n\"Hm? No, my lord. No. Of course not.\"\n\"Very well. Your next assignment awaits you. A land far to the north this time. We have deemed them unworthy to continue. Destroy them. Return immediately this time.\"\n\"Yes, my lord.\"" ]	5
Disclaimer: not mine but I thought it was cool Edit: ignore my awful spelling that I can't change anymore	[WP] You trick the devil into sell you his soul	[ "This is meant to be sung like an old folk song kind of like a medieval times tavern/bar song or a song children would sing on the playground and all the children would know the lyrics. It's kind of like a ballad. All the stanzas are four lines but it doesn't follow a particular rhyme pattern. It sounds best when sung out loud.\n\n.\n\n* There once was a good lad named James Applestein, \n* Who lived with his mother, though wasn't quite keen.\n* As a boy all the children would laugh and they'd sing,\n* \"Look at stupid little James, he's as dumb as a bean.\"\n\n.\n\n* He sat all alone in his room and he'd think, \n* \"How can I get someone to appreicate me?\"\n* He thinks and he thinks but he's tried everything\n* Nothing comes to mind, it is hopeless it seems\n\n.\n\n\n[Tempo changes, it gets a little bit faster, emphasis gets placed on the \"self\" and \"elf\"]\n\n* But out of nowhere pops the Devil himself,\n* With the eyes of a snake and the legs of an elf\n\n[Tempo goes back to normal]\n\n* \"I am here to help you but you have to help me.\n* It may not look like it but I'm lonely you see\"\n\n.\n\n* Dumb little James was surprised by this thought\n* \"But what about all of the souls that you've caught?\"\n* \"They all hate me,\" said the Devil with shame,\n* \"All the souls in hell think that I am to blame\"\n\n.\n\n* James knew the devil would try to trick him\n* He knew it , he knew it, so he lifted his limb\n\n[Not sung, said kind of quickly]\n\n* And he said \"Devil give me your arm,\n* And I'll make you a deal that will bring you no harm\"\n\n.\n\n[Tempo goes back to normal and next part is sung like the rest]\n\n* So he put out his hand \n* And James grabbed it quickly,\n* James said, \"Give me your soul \n* and you won't be lonely.\"\n\n.\n\n[This part isn't sung, this part is said kinda quickly, also you slightly pause after each line]\n\n* He stared into the Devil's eyes, \n* And to his surprise, \n* The Devil agreed, \n* Not suspecting James' lies.\n\n.\n\n[Tempo goes back to normal]\n\n* James then grabbed a jar and he trapped his dark soul!\n* The jar filled to the brim and turned black as a coal.\n\n[No singing, This next part is just read regularly]\n \n* James had captured the Devil and he was filled with much glee,\n* and he thought, \"Maybe now, people will finally like me.\"\n\n\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] You wake up on a Tuesday morning to 97 notifications on your Facebook. It's all friends sharing stories about you, how they met you and their favorite times with you. Every post has one thing in common, they all start with "RIP"	[ "I wake up in a groggy state. Holy shit, how drunk did I get? My nose is stuffy, did I do coke again, and on a fucking Monday? I step outside of my studio apartment and the sun seems brighter than it ever has. I check my texts; nothing. I notice I have 97 notifications on facebook. What the fuck... I havent even posted anything on Facebook in over a week, what is this bullshit, some sort of invites for a dumb ass game? I bet its my stupid cousin and his nerdy friends.\n\nRIP? You have got to be kidding. Really John you would share that story on Facebook?? Just because she had a dick and I got head in vegas from her doesn't make me gay you homophobic fuck! Oh shit really my mom commented on it? This is ridiculous. Mark??? Whats this shit about doing coke in your moms car in highschool? Wow what is going on. \n\nI text John. Nothing. Then Mark. Nothing. Ok this is bullshit... Imma punch that fucker in the face when I see him, John you dumb ass quit this shit. This is a dumb prank, none of you responding? FUNNY! Not..\n\nOk lets just call mom and figure this bullshit out. It isn't my birthday so its not a surprise prank party and its May not April first so what the hell. \n\nI drive the 20 min drive on the 405 to my moms place. I haven't seen her in months, I hate dealing with that alcoholic bitch. Ever since dad died she hasn't be tolerable to be around. Whats weirder is she became super religious in some sort of twisted delusion that confessing your sins will somehow make up for her being an alcoholic mean spirited bitch. Dad would never have tolerated this shit.\n\nI arrive to my childhood home and see not just mom but my friends too. Everyone is crying. \n\n\"We once took this girl into our dorm room while she was blacked out...\" \n\nHoly fuck Dan, what are you doing?! We swore to never mention that!\n\n\"We took turns... oh my god im so sorry!\" he starts to cry out.\n\n\"Shhh its all right son, we all must confess the sins you have committed with my son. Its the only way.\"\n\nThis is fucked. What is going on. \n\n\"He died without confessing. He never accepted the lord into his heart. We must confess for him and ask for forgiveness.\"\n\nShit.. another 30 notifications?! What is this? and why is no one responding YOU GOD DAMN SANCTIMONIOUS FUCKS! Am I dead? No way, I can't be... I blacked out but its not like I took painkillers or something...\n\nAnother notification: \"Son, you must make peace or your family will forever be burdened by your sins.\" \n\nPeace? You fucking asshole, what you did to me growing up! Fuck you!\n\n\"I have yet to ask for forgiveness, if you want the life I live now, wandering, lost, until you beg for forgiveness from those you have harmed you will never pass on.\" \n\n\"I'm sorry dad. Murder is a cardinal sin but so is what you have done. Im sorry I have sinned but I am not sorry for what I did in return to you.\"\n\nThe notifications stop.\n", "My eyes open slowly and with effort at the brightness of my bedroom. The grogginess is torn away quickly as I pick up my phone. \n\n8:37am, six missed calls from mom, two missed calls from dad and my voicemail is full alongside a slew of social media notifications I don't have the time to read. I was supposed to be at work almost two hours ago. I stumble out of bed and pull on my clothes. \n\nWorking for your parents through the summer has it's perks. It's easier to get time off and they sometimes let me study a little instead of doing actual work when it's slow but Lord help me on the days I'm running late. I grab a banana for breakfast on my way out the door and head to my where my car should be parked across the street. Where is my car? \n\nMy car must've been towed overnight, I need to stop leaving it there on nights that street cleaning is being done. Luckily there's a bus stop close by. \n\nI jog to the stop with my banana still in one hand and my phone in the other. After waiting a couple minutes the bus pulls up. I walk on and greet the driver who doesn't even seem to notice I've spoken to him. I find myself a seat in the back and pull out my phone to give my parents a call to let them know I'm on my way in. When I try each of them I'm told by an automated voice that their numbers are not in the service area. It's annoying but not entirely unusual with the old phones they use. \n\nI have a ten minute ride ahead of me so I open up my phone while I eat the banana. Ninety seven Facebook notifications? I pause to wonder if i forgot my own birthday and laugh at the idea, it's June and my birthday isn't until November. I open up the app and head to my notifications, all of which are postings on my timeline. I start reading from the top down.\n\n\"Girl it's been way too long and I'm so sorry I didn't keep in contact. I remember two summers ago at that campfire when you were telling us all those stories about growing up in a small town. You always made everything so funny. That night I laughed so hard my stomach ached the next day. Always in my heart, rip beautiful soul ❤\"\n\n\"You'll always be in my heart, condolences to your family\"\n\n\"Those summers we worked at the rv park are ones I will never forget. Remember that time I had to carry you up the hill? :P rip\"\n\n\"I can't stop crying I cant believe this is really happening. RIP ❤❤\"\n\n\"RIP, you were cool\"\n\n\"You were the best friend I could've every asked for, life won't be the same without you. Love you forever xoxo\"\n\nWhat was all of this. Some sick joke? It must be and I don't find it funny at all. I close Facebook, I'm almost at work anyways.\n\nWhen I get there the door is locked and on the door is a sign that reads:\n \n'We will be closed for the remainder of the week due to a loss in our family. Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause and thank you for your understanding\". \n\nI feel a heat radiate through my body and feel instantly nauseous. I frantically reach for my phone and listen to my voicemails. Each one was from my mother and each one was more devastating than the last. They started out with her voice lightly laced with worry asking me to call when I could and ended four voicemails later with her sobbing asking for me to please call because it couldn't be true that I was gone. I still was so confused. Nobody I know would take a joke this far but there's also no way I'm dead. I couldn't be going on with my day as normal if I was dead...\n\nI start walking briskly in the direction of my parents house. Walking past an old corner store a headline of the local newspaper caught my eye.\n\n\"YOUNG WOMEN KILLED IN TRAGIC CAR ACCIDENT\"\n\nI pick up the paper hesitantly. Under the headline is a picture of my beloved 2003 chevy impala, whom I'd nicknamed Louise as a joke with my sister a couple of years ago, wrapped around a telephone pole. \n\nI can barely stay on my feet as I read the article.\n\n\"Last night around 5:45pm police and emergency services were called to the scene of a single vehicle motor accident. A 20 year old women was pronounced dead at the scene. Her family wishes to keep her identity annonymous at this time. Alcohol is not believed to be a factor in the collision.\"\n\nI set the paper down gingerly and took off in a sprint to my families home. I burst through the door to find my dad sobbing on the couch alongside my sister. I speak to them but they do not respond. They can not respond. I think I might actually be dead. I go upstairs to find my mom asleep in her bed, her face is so red and swollen from crying. I lie my head down beside her so we are face to face. She awakes quickly and I think maybe she can see me so I speak out to her,\n\n\"Yes mom it's me, I'm here, I'm okay.\"\n\nShe stares blankly ahead while more tears roll down her face. I sob to myself and stay there with her for another minute.\n\n\"I love you so much\", I whisper as I crawl out of bed. I then continue on to the spare bedroom. \n\nThere I find my boyfriend sitting motionless on the side of the bed staring at his phone. His eyes look so empty as I walk around him to peer at what he is looking at. He has a text conversation open. One between us. The last message I sent read,\n\n\"I will be home in a few. I love you.\"\n\nIt was sent at 5:44pm. \n\nI had been messaging him when I hit the pole. This was my fault and I had caused the people I love so much pain. I had ended my life when it had barely even started yet. I wanted to have children, I wanted to become a nurse, I wanted to see the world. I had done so little and now i would never get the chance. Would I have to live in this world as a witness to life around me forever? \n\nI kiss my boyfriend's head and whisper loving words and hopes for the rest of his life before leaving the room.\n\nI hug my mom one last time and say my goodbyes to my dad and sister even though they can't hear me. I give my parents dog on last pet before I go out the door and she looks in my direction. \n\nI head straight for the dam overlooking the river. I breath in the cool air and sit on the railings with my legs dangling over the river feeling the spray of the water hit them. How could I have done this to myself? More importantly how could I do this to my loved ones? I couldn't live in this in-between watching their lives play out in front of me. I say my last goodbyes to no one in particular and step up on the railing steadying myself for a minute while I overlook the town I had grown up in. I take one more breath and dive head first.\n\nAs I am about to hit the water I am jolted awake. \n\n\n\nI prop myself up on my elbows in my bed in the pitch black. I am shaking all over. My boyfriend reaches over to pull me in. Half asleep he asks if I am okay. I tell him I am and tuck myself in tightly against him hoping I will be able to calm down enough to fall back asleep. \n\nBefore I drift off again I vow to never pick up my phone again when I'm driving.\n\n" ]	2
	[WP] You receive a Fidget Cube from your Father with only a note "be careful how you use it". After playing around with it you notice people acting strangely.	[ "There's a strange feeling about being inside your childhood home after leaving it years ago to go to college. It's just a two-storey house with a humble garden that my parents bought when I was 6. My mother used to tend to the flowers in the garden but ever since she went missing no plants have grown anywhere in this garden. My father lived alone. Since then this garden became less and less of a garden. There is a small wooden gazebo in the corner of the garden was the place we used to each breakfast whenever my mother wanted us to help with the garden afterwards. As I sit on this old wooden seat I used to eat at, all the memories of my mother came rushing back. \nShe used to compare my voice to the sound of the breeze hitting the wind chimes in the gazebo. Then I heard a high-pitch symphony. The wind chimes maybe? Apparently my senses fooled me cause it turned out to be the doorbell. I went in to see what was behind the door just to see a small package with my father's name on it. \n\"be careful how you use it\"\nThe messy handwriting was almost something out of a horror movie. I open it up and found a small black from what it looks to be, a fidget cube. I put out the fidget cube and put it away in my purse. I came back to the gazebo and started to surf the internet. A few minutes later, I noticed i was already playing with the fidget cube in my other hand. As I press the buttons to give me satisfaction, I hear a screaming girl nearby. No, not screaming; she was moaning. I press the button again and I hear another moan, almost sychronized. I press the buttons as rapidly as possible and the girl next door keeps on moaning as if this fidget cube and her body was connected. I turn and use the spinning disc on the fidget cube and spin it as fast as I can until I hear our neighbor came knocking at our door. \n\"Johnny! Stop playing with your remote control. I'm not ready yet!\"\nI was not ready for what happened." ]	1
	[WP] Everyone on Earth has a name appear on their left forearm at birth: The name of the person responsible for their eventual death. You too were born with a name written.....on your right arm.	[ "When I was born I had two names. My given name and the name I was born with.\n\nMy given name is Alex. My parents thought i looked like an Alex so Alex I became. My born name though? My born name was Olivia. My born name refers to the name engraved into my arm as I developed in the womb. It is the name of the person who shall be the death of me, see everyone is born with somebody's first name on the left forearm. This name corresponds to the person who shall kill you. Some times the name was like any other and the death could be anything from them. You wouldn't know what it is until it happened but if they were to blame in any way then there name would be on your arm.\n\nSome people accept that it could be anyone with that first name and don't sweat it when they meet someone with that name. Others realize that it is the person they have just met and will turn and run or try to stop them themselves. The runners end up either meeting someone else of the same name and it turns out to be them that equals death, while some will get hit by cars as they turn and run in a blind panic etc. You get the point. The people who try to kill there assigned name before they get killed usually succeed but end up on death row and fulfilling the prophecy.\n\nHowever. There is a third group. This third group all share the same name. The timekeeper. It has become understood that the timekeeper is for those that die of old age. Only those who have already met the timekeepers embrace know what (it?) looks like.\n\nso what about me? what makes me so special that I have to write this down?\n\nOlivia is on my right forearm.\n\nToday I died. I am going to be the only person who understands why her name was on my right forearm and others have and will come but we only realize in our last moments why that is.\n\nI died FOR Olivia. Rather than her killing me I killed myself for her. We were at a meeting set up by people with name on the right. We left the building chatting to each other joking as we left that \"maybe I'm going to kill you haha\" with a sadness to it that it may have been true. A lone man walked from around the corner raising his pistol as he did. He was a fanatic, we are evil for having names on the right. We shouldn't exist.\n\nI pushed Olivia out of the way as I shielded her with my body.I died. She survived but died later in life when she tried to protect someone of her own, because that what it means to have a name on your right forearm.\n\n*edits are spelling mistakes" ]	1
	[WP] Toy story but some toys defected and revealed themselves to humans	[ "Not all toys hide their secret lives.\n\nMy name is Ernie and I first came to consciousness inside a McDonald's happy meal. I was part of a Seasame Street promotion with 14 other characters, immortalised in our tiny plush forms. I was never meant to be a collectable though. \n\nI ended up at the house of a kid who called himself Forrest. He had quite the imagination, which is partly why I revealed my sentience to him in the first place. He was big into his wrestling. The Count and I fought out many bouts on the chessboard he referred to as the squared circle. I've done manoeuvres that would be utterly impossible to perform in those big fleshy vessels you call bodies.\n\nWe overheard that Forrest was going away to boarding school and that he was to pack only his most valuable possessions. There we were, couched in his oh-so-dexterous hands, hovering above the wastebasket, his eyes welling with tears as he prepared to say goodbye to his childhood and, consequently, The Count and I. Count gave me an imperceptible elbow in the gut and I knew it was our cue to break that unwritten rule of toydom. I spoke aloud in front of my owner.\n\n\"Please don't throw us away Forrest! We can't spend the rest of our lives in the smelly darkness, waiting to be dumped in some stygian abyss. If you turf us out you'll regret it forever!\" \n\nIt was all bluster, I hadn't exactly prepared a speech for this occasion, but we got his attention. After some deliberation we convinced him to keep us and to hold our secret close to his heart.\n\nThree years later and we're raising hell at Crestwell Prepatory School for Boys and Girls. We get into all kinds of mischief, mostly small shit like messing with fellow students, low-grade magic tricks and stealing tasty treats from the kitchen. Count and I live like kings and never have to worry about blowing our cover. \n\nHe took our secret life very well and I give Forrest a lot of credit for that, the kid is a star. I can't wait to see what else in store for the Three Amigos!\n\nPS: Be nice, I've been on the ciders ", "\"...Once again, the Justice Rangers have foiled the diabolical plans of the Evilsaur. The citizens of Awesometown can rest easy\"\n\n\"Andy, dinner time! Remember to wash your hands this time!\"\n\nAndy got up with a groan and made his way to the bathroom, leaving his toys scattered across his bedroom floor. He had been having such an amazing adventure with his favorite toys, until his mother had to interrupt his train of thought. Hoping that he could scarf down dinner and get back to adventure quickly, Andy leapt down the stairs two steps at a time.\n\nAs the sound of Andy's footsteps dissipated, his toys became animate once more and excitedly discussed their latest adventure.\n\n\"Great job everyone!\", said Woody as he picked himself off the floor.\n\n\"Woody! Did you see me! Andy's plan worked perfectly\", said Slink.\n\nWoody turned to face Slink, who was currently wrapped around Rex in a knot, binding him in place. If it was any other slinky, then Woody might have been concerned, but he knew Slink long enough to know that it would take a lot more to break him. Woody walked over to Buzz, who was leaning against the Evilsaur's Lego Fortress of Evil.\n\n\"Nice work out there, 'Space Ranger'.\"\n\nBuzz looked up from his wrist communicator and chuckled.\n\n\"Couldn't have done it without your leadership, 'Captain Ranger'. Is 'Stretch Ranger' alright?\"\n\n\"Yeah, he can handle a simple knot\", Woody said looking back towards his friends.\n\nWith the ching of metal rings on wood flooring, Slink popped off Rex and landed a foot away. Free from the binding power of the Stretch Ranger, Rex slowly stood up. He looked at slink, already compressing himself back together. He then turned to look at Woody and Buzz, and stared at them for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, he spoke.\n\n\"I'm headed to Molly's room. I need to get something\", he said without breaking eye contact.\n\n\"Hold on there Rex! Andy will be back from dinner any minute. You can go later\", said Woody.\n\n\"It's fine. I'll be quick\", Rex said slowly in a monotone voice.\n\nAnd with that, rex turned and simply walked towards the bedroom door. Buzz turned to Woody.\n\n\"Is 'Evilsaur' alright?\", Buzz asked.\n\nWoody's eyes followed Rex out of the room before he spoke.\n\n\"I'm not so sure, Buzz. Andy has cast Rex as 'Evilsaur' all week. And the week before, Andy had him attack Bo Peep's sheep as a bloodthirsty Alien\"\n\nThe Evil drawbridge of Evilsaur's Lego Fortress of Evil lowered, revealing Hamm, who had apparently been eavesdropping.\n\n\"Don't forget! He also played the monstrous creation of I, Dr Piggles!\", said Hamm.\n\n\"What does that have to do with anything?\", Buzz asked while ignoring Hamm.\n\nWoody turned to Buzz.\n\n\"It's not good for a toy to always play the villain. A toy is meant to always be on their child's side. When a toy is cast as a bad guy, the child sees them as that bad guy. If they are consistently cast as the bad guy, then they start acting like the bad guy, even when the child is gone.\"\n\nBuzz turned towards the empty bedroom door.\n\n\"So you think Rex might actually believe he's a villain?\"\n\n\"No Buzz. I'm worried that Rex will do something bad. Something he believes a villain would do\"\n\n\n\n\n\n30 minutes passed and the toys could hear Andy running back up the stairs.\n\n\"Alright everyone!\", Woody yelled out, \"Get into position!\"\n\n\"Woody! Woody! I can't find Rex anywhere!\", cried Slink.\n\n\"What? Where could he be? Well, there's no time to look for him! Everyone fall!\"\n\nAll the toys slumped to the floor in their previous positions just before Andy raced into the room. Sitting down, Andy was about to immerse himself in his imagination when he noticed Slink was no longer wrapped around Rex.\n\n\"Hey Mooooom? Have you seen Buster? I think he took something from my room!\", called Andy.\n\n\"He's outside Andy! I just took him for a walk. You know we should really talk about who's job it is to look after...\", called Andy's mom from the kitchen before being tuned out by Andy.\n\nAndy got up and began searching for Rex. He looked all over his room, even under his bed, but he couldn't find him. Well if Rex wasn't in his room, and Buster didn't take it, then there was only one answer.\n\n\"Molly, where are you? I know you took Rex!\", yelled Andy as he raced out of his room.\n\nWhen he was gone, the toys breathed a collective sigh of relief. Woody got up and began to instruct the toys.\n\n\"Okay guys we've got a missing toy situation. Did anyone see Rex come back from Molly's room?\", Woody said to the crowd of toys.\n\nMet with only silence and concerned faces, Woody continued.\n\n\"Then we need to send a search party. Army men, form up!\", called out Woody.\n\nThe nearby tin of army men toppled over, spilling its contents all over the floor. The army men quickly picked themselves up, got into position, and saluted Woody.\n\n\"Alright men. A fellow toy has gone missing. I need you to help find Rex and bring him back, understand?\"\n\n\"Sir, Yes Sir!\"\n\n\"He was headed to Molly's room, so check there first\"\n\n\"Understood, Sir!\"\n\nThe army men turned left and began to march out the door. While the toys watched them leave, Buzz turned to Woody.\n\n\"I hope he doesn't cause them much trouble\"\n\n\"I hope so too. Their guns can't protect them.\n\n\n\n\n\nThe army men stopped outside of Molly's room and listened for the sound of movement. It was quiet, too quiet. Private Johnson was chosen to scout ahead and make contact with Molly's toys. Johnson was nervous, he had never been trained for an all pastel environment. He felt exposed with his green plastic standing out against the vibrant colors of Molly's room. He saw his destination in the distance, Molly's My Little Pony Crystal Empire Playset©. As Johnson headed towards it, he realized something was wrong. The dolls that lined Molly's shelves were missing. The Barbie Dreamhouse© was devoid of Barbies. An eerie silence filled the air. He felt he should turn back, but he pressed on.\n\nWhen Johnson finally got to the playset, he decided to climb the Staircase of the Crystal Empire to obtain a better vantage point. But when he reached the summit, he saw a light blue pony huddled behind the Crystal Throne. Johnson called out to the pony.\n\n\"Hello miss pony. Do you require assistance?\"\n\nStartled, the pony turned to look at him.\n\n\"Quiet! They'll hear you!\", the pony quietly yelled at Johnson.\n\nBut it was too late. The closet door swung open and out walked Molly, with Rex perched on her shoulder.\n\n\"Look Molly! Another fake friend!\", cried Rex.\n\nJohnson ducked behind a pillar as Molly walked over to the playset. Molly moved the throne aside, grabbed the pony, and held it up to her face.\n\n\"Rainbow Dash! You were real this whole time. Why did you never talk to me? I thought you were loyal to your friends!\", said Molly.\n\n\"I'm sorry. I wanted to talk to you, but it was against the rules. Please just let me go!\", squeaked Rainbow Dash.\n\n\"Don't listen to her Molly. If she was truly your friend then she would have chosen to break that rule. Now would you please set me down so you can put her with the others\", said Rex in a sickly sweet voice.\n\n\"Okay Rex\", Molly said as she set Rex on the playset.\n\nMolly then cupped Rainbow Dash in her hands to muffle her protests and took her into the closet. After a few moments, Rex spoke.\n\n\"I know you're there. Woody sent you, didn't he? Well, it doesn't matter now. Even your entire platoon can't stop me now. But I will let you go. I won't alert Molly to your presence. I only ask that you relay a message back to Woody. Tell him: Playtime is over\"" ]	2
	[WP] You are simultaneously the strongest superhero and weakest supervillain on Earth.	[ "\"It's like the Kinsey scale, Bob,\" Vika said with a voice like three stogies and a jar of whiskey.\n\n\"On the left, you have the villains, on the right, you have the heroes, and in the middle, the rest of us.\"\n\n\"That doesn't make sense, Vika,\" responded Bob. His voice had the airyness of George Michael and the high-pitched girliness of Michael Jackson.\n\n\"Bixexuals aren't indifferent to the sexes. If it were like the Kinsey scale, you would be both villain and hero -- yet you are neither.\"\n\nBob's jeans-clad behind squeaked against the faux-leather '50s-throwback bus seat on one side of the table.\n\n\"You know what I mean -- the point is that you're an incredibly weak supervillain. As well as an incredibly strong hero.\"\n\nVika dragged on her cigarillo and breathed out a plume of smoke.\n\n\"You have an amazing gift, Bob.\"\n\n\"I guess so. It's just that being 'slippery' doesn't make for very charitable news coverage. The puns alone...\"\n\nBob Teflon was a superhero. Or so they said. Dr. F had tested him and determined that not only had he won the genetic lottery with regard to superhero-ness, but that his last name must have been a sign from the gods. Or something. It was difficult to make out as Dr. F's enunciation made Elmer Fudd sound like John Gielgud.\n\n\"F thtandth for fabulouth!\" Dr. F had proclaimed, waving one elbow-patched flannel-covered arm, forefinger pointing towards the ceiling. It was the only letter in the alphabet that hadn't been used by another mad scientist for their name.\n\nBob took a sip of his iced latte macchiato and turned his gaze to a pair of women arguing in the carpark.\n\n\"What am I supposed to do with this superpower, Vika?\"\n\n\"Dunno. Go to India to find yourself or something.\"\n\n\"That's not very helpful...\"\n\n\"Ma'am, we don't allow smoking inside. Please put out your cigar, thank you,\" said the soft, concerned voice of a person paid to care.\n\nVika scowled, put out the offender in the ashtray, and looked at Bob.\n\n\"It's a cigarillo,\" she muttered." ]	1
Got the idea from [this psychiatric disorder](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capgras_delusion).	[WP] You wake up one day to find that everyone you recognize/know in your town has been replaced with a robot that looks and acts just like them.	[ "When I woke up, my sister was singing on key. The first sign things were going wrong, as Annabell had never been able to hold a key. The kind way she greeted me, the way breakfast was so precisely set, made me pause. Something was wrong.\n\nShe met my eyes and told me I was going to be late. That there was school.\n\n\"Aren't you coming?\" I asked.\n\n\"What do I need school for, I graduated last week,\" she said.\n\nHow? I wanted to ask. But she accidentally shattered a cup in her hand when I didn't sit down to eat. She looked surprised, but I didn't see blood. \n\nThat was when I knew something was truly wrong.\n\nI just didn't know what, or who... or why?" ]	1
	[WP] A man sits on a wall in an alleyway 24/7. Tell m all that happens to him.	[ "“Did you see that old guy?” Hanna asked. We had just exited the alley behind my condo tower and were on our way to dinner.\n\n“Hmm? Oh, you mean Conrad? I hardly notice him anymore.” I replied.\n\n“You know him? Is he one of your neighbors?”\n\n“Ummm, in a manner of speaking, yeah.”\n\n“Oh, he’s a homeless guy?”\n\n“You’ve never heard of Conrad before? The guy’s a local fixture. I don’t think he’s homeless.”\n\n“Conrad? No… I don’t think I have.”\n\n“Wait, really? Oh man, I have a story for you. Conrad is a legend around here.”\n\n”Lumley, don’t you think it’s a bit creepy that this guy is always hanging around the alley behind your condo?”\n\n“No, and neither will you when you hear the story. Let’s just go sit down first.”\n\nThree blocks away, we sat at a table on a rooftop bar, overlooking the city. It was a wonderful May evening, the sun was setting behind us, clouds drifted lazily across the sky, and summer’s heat and humidity was gracefully absent. May is my favorite month in Raleigh.\n\n“Okay, so, tell me the story.”\n\nI took a long sip on my Kentucky Mule and began.\n\n“Do you remember the time before Raleigh’s downtown got built up?”\n\n“...hmm, not really, I only moved here in 2021.”\n\n“Right. Um, well, a lot of the high rises you see in this area were built in the years right before you moved here. One of the reasons the high rises were built is because the land was… not so expensive. A lot of the land immediately east of the downtown was a rough neighborhood. We’re talking old, rundown houses. Lots of poverty. Developers were able to buy up a few blocks on the cheap and then put up huge condos like mine. Before all this development, there were not a lot of people living downtown. It wasn’t as walkable as it is now.”\n\n“Okay.”\n\n“Remember that, because it will be important later. So, anyway. Conrad. His story began back in 2012. He was a senior manager at some bank that had a huge office downtown. Not like an executive, but a pretty high-level manager. He had a wife and a daughter and they lived a few blocks away in Oakwood.”\n\n“Woah, fancy.”\n\n“Yeah, they were definitely well-to-do, right near downtown, too. Well, anyway, back around 2012, Conrad had some medical issue. I can’t remember exactly, I think he hurt his leg working out, or something, and he needed surgery. He was in his fifties. So he had his surgery and he returned home. At the time, his daughter was, like, 16, or so and living at home. And that’s where the story takes a really bad turn. Do you remember the opioid epidemic?”\n\n“Oh, no. He got addicted to the pills?”\n\n“No, actually. Worse. See, back in 2012, doctors were still handing out these painkillers like they were candy. There weren’t a lot of restrictions in place to prevent people from refilling their prescriptions earlier than they needed to. Doctors also gave out, like, a three-week supply at a time. So, it was really easy to overuse the painkillers to the point of getting high, and no one would think twice when you showed up a week early to refill your prescription.”\n\n“Shit, I remember hearing about that kind of thing.”\n\n“Right, so anyway. His daughter was 16 at the time, and you know kids that age. They’re stupid. They think they’re smart, and that they know what’s going on, but they don’t. They’re fucking morons. His daughter was no different. She had been smoking weed for a while with her friends, and like many teenagers, she realized that weed was nowhere near as bad as all the anti-drug education makes it out to be. So, basically, she realized that adults had lied about weed being bad. And, being stupid, like every teenager is, she concluded ‘if they lied to us about how bad weed is, then they probably lied to us about all of the drugs.’”\n\n“I think I see where this is going…”\n\nI gave a sad nod and sipped my drink.\n\n“She started stealing her dad’s pain pills?”\n\n“Yep. She had heard from friends, who were also a bunch of fucking stupid teenagers, that painkillers made you feel really euphoric. Have you ever had to take them, do you know the feeling?”\n\n“Oh, yeah, I had a minor surgery once and took them. It felt like I was floating.”\n\n“Exactly, I did as well when I had my wisdom teeth removed. Well, anyway, the daughter had heard from friends about how fun it was to take painkillers. She already believed that adults were all lying about how bad drugs are, and, to make things worse, painkillers were not really seen as “drugs”, ya know? I mean, the perception at the time was ‘they’re not drugs, they’re medicine, you get them from a doctor. How bad could they be?”\n\n“Didn’t pharmaceutical companies basically lie about how bad painkillers were?”\n\n“Oh, yeah, for years. Several states, like Kentucky, actually sued pharmaceutical companies for getting so many of their citizens addicted. It was criminal. Anyway, back to Conrad’s daughter. She had begun sneaking a few pills here and there. It was probably not difficult for her at all because, like I said, doctors used to give out a three-week supply and there weren’t many refill restrictions. Conrad probably had no idea she was taking his pills. Well, anyway, a few months later, Conrad’s leg was better and he stopped getting painkillers. But, at that point, his daughter was pretty much hooked. So, she started turning to street dealers to keep using.”\n\nHanna gave a disappointed sigh.\n\n“Yeah, you know where this is going. After a while, she couldn’t afford to keep buying the pills from her dealer, so her dealer, being a customer-focused businessman, suggested she try switching to heroin instead. After all, painkillers are basically low-power heroin. And also, heroin is cheaper.”\n\n“Did Conrad know?”\n\n“He figured it out after a while. His daughter was failing out of high school, she had lost her job, stuff was going missing from the house. He and his wife did an intervention. But, it wasn’t that easy. As the years went by, the daughter struggled. She had just barely gotten her GED, couldn’t find good work, and, all in all, was difficult to be around. She relapsed a few times. Conrad and his wife were struggling too. Their relationship was really strained by their daughter’s addiction and relapses. He always tried to do right by them, but he could never ‘fix’ the addiction.”\n\n“She relapsed a lot?”\n\n“Yeah, it seems that the dealer knew her phone number, where she lived. And the dealer would text her and sometimes even offer to give her heroin for free or on credit, just to get her to start buying again. The daughter didn’t like being addicted, she wanted to be free of it, but heroin is a hell of a master. You’re never free of it. So, one day, probably back in ‘17, the family was in shambles, and the daughter decided to turn in her dealer for the cash reward. She was going to take the money and go start over somewhere else. But, that didn’t work out. The problem was that the dealer was part of a gang and the gang was well connected. Nobody knows how they knew, but somehow, they had heard that the daughter had gone to the police.”\n\n“Shit, a dirty cop told the gang she had talked?”\n\n“Maybe, could have been the wrong person overheard her talking about it. Nobody ever found out, because a few days later, she and her mom were walking into the downtown from Oakwood, this was in the middle of the day, and they were shot and killed.”\n\n“Oh, my god.”\n\n“And that was in the alley where my condo is now.”\n\nI could see Hanna’s eyes tear up a little.\n\n“The police were never able to catch whoever did it. It was pretty clearly an attack by the gang, but there was no way to prove it, or prove a particular guy pulled the trigger. So, now, Conrad spends his time in the alley looking for what he lost. Wondering if he could have made a different choice along the way to prevent it. I sympathise with him, really. My sister’s an addict and our family went through some of the same shit as Conrad’s. Well, minus the murders.”\n\n“That’s so sad. He’s got to be in his 70s now?”\n\n“I think so.”\n\n“That’s awful. At that age, it’s gotta be hard to move on from that. Hard to start fresh when so much of your life was dedicated to your family and they get erased like that.”\n\nI bowed my head a little. It was a pain you just had to live with.\n\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] You live in a world where you have to buy sleep	[ "The howling winds brought in the cold November winds. Russell sat wrapped around a slew of raggy garments. His eyes pinched open wide, bloodshot and crusty. He sat there shivering, praying some kind would drop a dime or two in the solo cup displayed for him. Russell counted the change he had gathered ever waking minute. \"Twenty three cents, twenty three cents, twenty three cents\" He would go on. A stranger would walk by, drop a nickel in \"twenty eight cents, twenty eight cents, twenty eight cents\" He felt the rage bubbling inside him after each thought, for to get the necessary funds to by an hour, at this rate he would be sitting here till July, there had to be an easier way he thought. \n\nShivering, teeth clattering, Russel prayed to whoever was listening that he could just shut his eyes and rest. The hallucinations came in droves, it wouldn't be much longer till they took over, his life would not be in his control anymore if they did. \n\nPeering through his greasy hair and tattered hood Russell spotted an elderly woman climbing down delicately from the bus. She shambled over towards Russell, her thinly white hair blowing against the breeze, a faint grin drawn across her face. Fumbled in her purse, she rustled around before drawing a wad a green, gold in Russell's eyes. He watched her press the wad of money into his cup, noticing the hundreds printed across each bill, Russell's eyes widened to the point of bleeding. His veiny, coarse hands shot out from the mountain of garments snatching the cup. The old lady turned back, catching Russell's gaze as he meekly met hers. With a swift wink, she twirled around and continued her walk up the block. Without a second thought, Russell burst from the mess of ratty clothes and bolted towards the sleep clinic. With a ferocious roar appearing behind him, Russell froze in his track, noticing no one reacting to the ominous hallucination that manifested behind it. Rustling behind a shroud of darkness at the end of the alley, Russel swallowed a dry gulp and darted down the street, knowing well there was not much time left. ", "First time writing a story, but this one catches my eye.\n\nNotice; English is not my primary language hope it's understandable enough.\n**\n\nMy name is Sleepy and my dream seller always raises price at the expense of my name.\n\nOn several occasions, I tried to buy a night peace in different places, but unsuccessfully. \n\nIn a world where sleep is a luxury, every neighborhood has its own dealer, and ours, One-eyed John, loves to roll in nightmares instead of dreams full with a paradise.\n\nLast time I told him how I would like to dream about L.A and Johnny Depp on my poker table, but instead because of the psychopathic distortion of our dealer I manage to find myself in a house which has a secret window and a secret garden.\n\n\"But at least you saw a Johnny Depp\", One-eyed John said.\n\nI glance a nickel-plated gun and put bullets in burglary, all six of them. Planning to take John's place after I send him into the eternal nightmare caused by his behavior.\n\nSleepy, the main dreams dealer in a neighborhood.\n\nIt's time to become one.", "Busy Bees Co. has a better policy than most of its competitors: half off every half hour of sleep if you live on company grounds and work any schedule they give you within 24 hours' notice.\n\nI am Happy Worker Bee #6262, who is so tired her eyes might melt out of her skull. I don't know how many hours straight I have worked. It's either forty or fifty but the numbers on my built-in wrist comm are too blurry to read.\n\nI tell myself this is okay. One day I will join a company like LifeCo. or a tech dinosaur like Microsoft or Google. Someplace that allots its workers at least 40 hours of paid sleep a week, and remembers that just because science has turned our brains into machines does not mean that our bodies are equally indefatigable.\n\nTrue, after thirty or forty waking hours my brain is still crisp, sharp, and errorless, but my body is trudging, limbs heavy, eyelids so swollen I can barely see. If I were rich I could buy a perfect plastic face that looks like me if I weren't such an ugly fucking flesh bag. But then if I had money I wouldn't have to ration my sleep tokens like I live in fucking China or something.\n\nWhen I start to feel real bitchy about my lot in life, I remember to be grateful that I am a bottom-tier citizen in a first world society. My employer's sleep benefits package may suck sweaty donkey balls but at least I don't have to choose between sleeping and eating.\n\nRight now is different. I'm saving up. I'm going to buy my way into the Silver City, and I'm going to get an interview with any company that will take me, and I'm getting the hell out of this Bronze City garbage life. My cardboard dorm room will be an apartment overlooking a city. I'll get a fish or maybe a cat. I will sleep like it costs me nothing and go to a job that fills me with meaning and hope.\n\nBut today if I don't fix this display of V-necks for 30% off, I'll be just another unemployed, desperate even for the scummiest bronze company to throw whatever minimum-wage-night-shift-dog-shit job they're willing to throw my way. Like starving dogs lunging for whatever bones they'll throw us.\n\nI hurry to fold the shirts.\n**\nI'm thinking about turning this into something bigger. If you're interested keep an eye on my subreddit, /r/shoringupfragments" ]	3
	[WP] He had been forced to kill in defense of those he loved. He wasn't taking it well.	[ "Drip drip drip \nBlood begins to pool at his feet, spreading across the grimy alleyway concrete, engulfing pebbles and penetrating every crack. Inches from his face is a vessel, devoid of the life that once powered it. His eyes widen, the body drops. He feels the handle slip from his fingers, slick with blood. Taking a half step back he steadies himself with a hand on broken brick, trying to process what had just unfolded. In every book ever written the moments after someones first kill is described as hectic: brain running at a thousand miles an hour, every single sense branding this feeling into the mind. Lies. \nSeconds pass, he can hear something, crying. Turning he sees the reason for all this, the one thing he would gladly give anything for, his daughter. Standing, feet away, face buried in the sleeves of her yellow coat. He takes a step towards her. As his foot makes contact with the ground, his knees buckle. He falls. Hands stained red by the blood seeping through his shirt. Slumped to the side he watches as blood pools in front of him, listening to his daughter's screams, she needs his help, but he is tired, so tired. So he sleeps. Forever.\n\n", "He let out a long sigh. He sat down at an empty table, and closed his eyes. No. Don’t do that. James knew that if he closed his eyes, he would see them again. All of them. All of the faces; the way they looked after their life had left them. And for what? When it had started, he had said to himself that it was to protect the people he loved. At the time, that might have been true. But as the many months passed, he started to realise that that wasn’t why anymore. It had become habit. To him was the same as getting up in the morning, as brushing his teeth, or getting dressed. But brushing his teeth didn’t leave him with all those faces when he closed his eyes, with the screams in the dark. Getting dressed didn’t leave him waking up in the middle of the night covered in sweat. But he had to go on. Else it would all have been for nothing. Though maybe that was the case. The empty table he sat at had not always been empty. Just three years ago, though it felt like half a lifetime, each and every place at this table had been filled. George, Vicky, Ed, Henry, Liz, William. All of them had been there. The room full with the music of their laughter, their cups full with whatever they had brought. For a time, they had even forgotten that it was a safehouse. But soon the laughter died away. Hitmen came. And James killed them all. \nUntil one day. Edward had been outside chopping wood. James had heard the men move towards the house. Getting rid of them had been easy. Afterwards, he had immediately accounted for everyone. Everyone but Ed. James had rushed around the perimeter looking frantically for Ed. He had drawn his gun, which he always carried with him. Fearing the worst, yet hoping against all hope, he had reached the wood storage. He paled when he saw a little red stream coming from inside. He dashed to the chopping block. The sight had made him retch. James had seen many corpses in his lifetime, but this couldn’t be called a corpse anymore. This was a statement. James instinctively knew what he had to do. He gathered the parts of Edward’s body, and put them in a waste bag. After that, he tried his hardest to clean up the blood, and when he had done that, he turned the chopping block over, and cleaned the axe. He looked around, and decided that it had to do. Only if you looked really careful could you see signs of what had happened here. However, James still looked pale. And from time to time, he still felt like vomiting. But he had to resume his duty. He went back to the house, and informed the others that Edward had died. At the same time, James had vowed that he would save the rest, if it was the last thing he did. But deep inside, he knew something had changed. He knew he was broken. From the moment Ed had died, it was only a matter of time they would get to the others as well. He knew that he had failed them. He had forfeited the lives of his friends. Yet he didn’t give up. It had taken another four or five months before the last of them had been killed.\nAnd now he sat here again. At that table, where he had sat so many times before. He tried to remember what they had looked like, but all he could see was their dead bodies. No one escapes death in the end. Tears started to stream down his face. He wiped them away, but they kept coming back. Life shouldn’t feel this way. In the end, it had not been worth it. In the end, he had failed his friends, failed himself. In the end… He sighed again, expression hardened, determined. There was only one solution. Only one way to end this. I have to do this. He picked up the gun, put it against his head, and pulled the trigger.\n", "White, weathered knuckles flexed as a hand adjusted it's grip on a black steering wheel. The nervous twitch of the hand was nothing compared to the look on the face of its owner. The man's hazel eyes darted about the road behind his tangled brown hair, anxiety evident in each twitch. He had testified against a man who robbed his small convenience store dio that justice could be served. He had no idea that the petty thug who'd robbed him had mob connections, at least not until the threats came. \n\nThat was a week ago. He'd gone to the police, but they couldn't help without evidence. Then his wife went missing. He went to the cops again, and they told him that his wife had likely left him for someone who wasn't a rat. That was what had made up his mind, he would get her back. Any means necessary. He had purchased an old 9mm pistol and a few dozen boxes of ammo.\n\nA loud banging from the trunk woke him from his daydream, and his eyes refocused on the road. His powder blue Ford escort turned off the main street onto a dirt road, pulling up to an old abandoned farmhouse. The man hopped from his car and opened the doors, backing into the farmhouse before sealing himself inside. He grabbed the gun off the passenger seat and took a deep breath, pointing it at the trunk. \n\n\"I've got a gun on you, better move real slow if you don't want any new holes\" he called to the trunk. The thumping stopped, so he pressed a button on his key to pop the trunk, revealing a blood soaked man who had seen better days. The battered mobster slowly crawled out of the trunk, his bound hands and feet impeding the process. One of his ropes caught on the latch of the trunk causing him to fall flat on his face, further destroying his nose. He looked up through bloodshot eyes, squinting through a mix of blood, sweat, and tears. \"Kevin?\"\n\nThe gun came crashing down on the mobster, and his vision faded. When he awoke, he was bound in a chair. Kevin was nowhere to be seen. Looking around, he noticed several lifeless, albeit familiar, faces strewn about the barn. Former associates dangled, lifeless and immobile, riddled with bullet wounds, from nearly every surface that could support the weight. He struggled against his bonds in futility until he heard the barn door slide open. He stammered quickly, trying to bargain with Kevin. \"I... I can... what do you -\"\n\nThe sound of gunfire interrupted him, his right knee was obliterated, and Kevin was screaming into his face. \"Where the fuck is my wife!?\"\n\nThe mobster squirmed under his pain, trying to think of a response that would save his life. Kevin aimed the pistol at his other knee. \"Wait! I'll tell you anything you want to know! Just -\"\n\nAnother gunshot, another decimated knee. The crook's legs dangled from below his knee, barely holding on with a bit of skin and sinew. The mobster screamed. Kevin waited for the screaming to subside, and calmly spoke. \"Your life is over, so stop trying to beg for it. You information will simply end your suffering.\"\n\nHe let the information sink in for a moment before tucking the gun into the hole in his right knee, twisting it to aim carefully. The mobster screamed and tried to speak, but his words were lost in the pain. Another gunshot, a shinbone reduced to splinters. \n\n\"Where the fuck is my wife!?\" Kevin shouted into the man's face. \n\nThe screaming subsided as the mobster hyperventilated. \"She's... at... Tony's...\" He forced himself to say between ragged breaths.\n\n\"Do I look like I know Tony' s address?!\" Kevin demanded, pushing the gun into what was left of his left knee and pulling the trigger, obliterating his left shin bone. \n\nThe mobster howled in pain, his agony turning into anger and words. \"I'm answering every fucking question you ask! Stop shooting me!\"\n\nIn quiet response, Kevin placed the gun against the mobster's right elbow and pulled the trigger. \"Answer more quickly if you want it to stop.\"\n\nBetween his sobs and ragged breaths, the mobster provided all the information he could without further need of convincing. One bullet in the ear ended it, preserving his face like the rest of the mobsters in case Kevin needed to convince anyone else. He hung the lifeless body from the center beam and staggered outside, throwing up onto a pile of vomit he'd clearly been visiting. He cleaned himself up, reloaded his gun, and got back into his powder blue escort. He set up his gps to direct him to Tony's house. His wife was nearly saved, even if it killed him to do it. " ]	3
	[WP] you realize a car accident happens near you every time you take a sip of liquid, no matter how hard you try to avoid it you can't avoid it,so you embrace it.	[ "It’s been almost 3 years now since this all started. At first it just seemed like a coincidence, in fact, I didn’t realize it was happening for days, and even then , I just thought a lifetime of partying and drugs had caught up to me, I thought I was losing my mind.\n\nEvery time I took a drink of something, anything liquid, a car accident was going to happen. I can’t explain why or how this is happening, but it is happening. It doesn’t matter where I am or what I am doing, if I take a drink of anything, someone is going to get in a car accident, maybe lots of someone’s.\n \nFor the first week or two I couldn’t believe this was happening, so I tested it out, being sure not to cause too much mayhem. I started small, in parking lots of shopping centers. I would wait for the poor soul who didn’t deserve this to back out of their spot and I would take a drink of my water. BAM! Sure enough, they sideswiped the car parked next to them, they backed into light poles, they got rear ended by people speeding through the parking lot, sometimes the accident would be out on the main road. I didn’t want to do this, but I had to drink or I would die of dehydration. That realization came quickly enough, believe me, you would almost certainly do the same.\n\nI had done several hundred thousand dollar’s worth of damage in just a couple of weeks keeping myself hydrated, making sure to only drink the bare minimum to survive. I didn’t know what else to do, it seemed to be unavoidable. I tried hiding inside my apartment, but I could hear the accidents happening every time I took a drink. Gulp, crash. I drove out to farm lands where no cars would be in sight and take a drink, only to hear on the radio later about a huge pileup on the freeway close to where I was. You ever hear of the 104 car pileup in Arizona? Yeah, that was my bad, I thought if I got far enough into the desert maybe it would be ok. Turns out, the longer I wait to drink, the worse it gets. 17 people lost their lives, and countless more injured.\n \nAfter weeks of trying to keep the damage minimal, to only drink what I needed to survive, I came to the realization, I can’t keep this up. I had to embrace this curse, find a way to turn it into a blessing. How do you take such a damaging affliction and turn it into something good? How would I be able to live a sustainable life this way?\n\nSo, here I am now almost 3 years into this thing and I am now the owner of the biggest and the most successful body shop in all of Tulsa, Oklahoma. I employ around 70 people locally and provide them with excellent pay and benefits. Incidentally Tulsa is now #1 on the list of worst drivers. Business is booming, and I couldn’t be happier. \n\n\nThis is the first anything I have ever written, so please, go easy on me. I am sure my punctuation and everything is messed up, but I am 35 and trying to learn a new hobby! Thanks for the weird prompt that strangely inspired me to finally write something. That was fun " ]	1
	[WP] You joined a cult in order to gain inside knowledge for an article you're writing. You've played along with everything they've asked you to do, confident the results will be worth it. But now they just gave you a gun.	[ "My name is Arthur Ericsson, and I have infiltrated the \"New Lord\" cult. This cult as you may or may not know is a Christian cult, started by its founder who claims to be the second son of God, and that Jesus joined Satan's side. It's crazy just like any other cult, but I joined it to get any knowledge I could for an article I was writing.\n\nWas.\n\nI'm writing this as fast as I can, to postpone whatever choice I have to make as much as I can, because I don't know what I'm going to do. I've been within their cult for two months, and they've just given me a gun, and another cult member is in the front seat of this van, taking me to the \"Antichrist\", who they want me to kill. I can't kill an innocent man, especially not for a cult I don't believe in!\n\nHe just said we have only 10 more minutes to drive. Fuck, what the fuck am I going to do? I can't bail out, they'll know immediately, I planned on running away back to my home state when I had a few days of nothing to do for them. Fuck, I should have left last week, I had enough to write about. Fuck me. If I shoot the guy, I'll be a horrible person with remorse, shoved inside a prison for years to come. What the fuck do I do?!\n\n..Kill the driver. The driver is a cult member, and from a legal standpoint I won't be charged since his death would be necessary for my safe escape. I'd still feel horrible for being a murderer, but I can't let them chase after me.\n\nI have to do it. It's the only option. I do it, or I'm in prison, or I'm murdered by this cult.\n\nI'll wait til we're off the highway, where I can run off into the city and hide. Yes, that will work.\n\nWhere the fuck are we going?! He just drove off the highway into the forest! I can't escape here, they'll follow my tracks! It's so fucking hard making myself look calm when I'm freaking out inside.\n\nWe're into an open plains and I see other cult members in the distance. They have a man tied up. I can't escape. Shit- WAIT. New plan, don't have time to write it.\n\nTest. Okay good, voice to text is on. I'm fucked. They're chasing me. I shot the driver and took over the van. I'm back on the highway. I've already called 911 and told them what the fuck is going on. I don't know what to do. They said just keep driving and don't go where I live or else they'll know. Fuck, they probably already know, they keep tabs on everyone inside. At least I'm living lightly here, I can handle not getting back my stuff. I'm so fucked. OH FUCK.\n\nI just found my old file from the event. Fuck, I'm still shook from it. I wrote that so if I died, if a police officer recovered my body, they'd have at least some evidence against that fucking cult.\n\nWhat happened at the end there was a cultist's car smashed into my van, and I wasn't prepared. I got shoved off the highway and barely survived. Three of them tried getting in my car. One smashed open the window and I shot him, I don't know if he died. The other two went for the back door but I shot through it and heard a scream. The third one stopped trying to get to me. I last remembered hearing SWAT officers shouting, and seeing some out of the corner of my eye. They kept me for interrogation, I told them everything I knew and gave them my phone so they could copy the above message. They still have the phone, but it was stored on a cloud storage service, so I still have it myself to add to.\n\nWhat was disheartening to see though, was the same man's face on the news, as murdered, with the cult as primary suspect. I'm due for court as a suspect in three days. I wish I could just go back home, finish my article and forget about all this.\n\n---\n\nThat was an interesting story to write. I tried my best for the driving segment to write as fast as I could, to write as if I were in that horrible situation, not given enough time to think properly.\n\nAnyway, if you enjoyed that, I have more stories over on /r/Deliphin!" ]	1
	[WP] You're a homicide investigator that can read minds, but struggle with the parameters of probable cause.	[ "Combs was always considered a bit of an eccentric within the force. He never seemed to take the job too seriously. Never hounded over a case, never brought many suspects to interrogation, and those he did he interviewed for mere minutes. But he never failed to incarcerate, never failed to bring in the necessary evidence.\n\nCombs played the game differently. He held all the cards. He needn't search his suspects faces nor the hastily constructed lies that leaked from their mouths. He searched their very thoughts. The question of guilt was already revealed to him. It was only a matter of translating those thoughts into word, or priming the questions to reveal answers only to him. \n\nAnd it always worked. His fellow officers saw him as some incarnation of Sherlock Holmes, at once appearing to probe into the suspects very minds or deriving the pertinent information from a handful of unanswered or seemingly irrelevant questions. He could set his suspects on edge by paraphrasing their inner monologue. Never to a point and never with their exact words, often only pointing out what one might notice from carefully observing the body. \"You are now carefully watching your breathing.\" or \"You are now thinking it is hot in here.\" Just enough to rattle, just enough to break the mold of lies already practiced in their heads hundreds of times before interrogation. He never called out a lie, not least because of evidence but because the truth was often revealed behind it. To his peers he appeared to glean the truth out of lies, he went with this explanation, seeming to read some code from the phrasing of the answer. The answer to \"Where's the murder weapon\" might be the suspect spitting in his eye, and Combs might find the weapon in a local lake. \n\nIn his early days it was easy to attribute many criminal's wicked fantasies to illness of the mind. These were simply depraved human beings, fundamentally flawed and compelled into acts of violence. \n\nFor many it was indeed easy. He could hear their voices now, the inner most voices veiled behind a mask of lies. He'd often watched his peers during interrogations, their eyes carefully scanning for the slightest hint in their body language, ears pricked at the slightest deviation from what they already knew. But these tactics were not very often successful, always incomplete, only revealing an inkling of the enigma, the tip of the ice burg. Combs could physically witness the evil. The malformed action of their minds. He saw evil, diseased, broken humans not capable of human reasoning. For some it was true. They killed simply because they could. They killed because of greed or wrath or some vice gone unchecked and finally breaking. \n\nBut it was not always this simple. Often he found himself visiting prison cells, just asking why. A security guard kills two doctors he sees everyday without ever encountering a problem. A celebrity with everything he could possibly desire within his grasp decides to murder his best friend. A maid of 40 years poisons the sweet old lady with only enough money to keep her employed. It doesn't always add up. And the voices of those criminals now locked away tends to match their thoughts. Regret, confusion, anger, despair, self pity. Why, why, why, why. \n\nThese thoughts always haunted Combs. If otherwise normal people of every variety are capable of murder, is it not a fundamental flaw of the being? Can anyone commit the crime? Does every human secretly harbor the capacity for evil, or a lust for blood? He'd seen the eyes and heard the thoughts of a thousand murders, each an individual, each a human. \n\nCombs mustered his resolve. He would probe his own mind. He leaves the house tonight, police armor and gun, with no place to go. " ]	1
	[WP] Your crack team of 5 spec ops agents has spent the past 3 months moonlighting as chippendales in order to gather intel. As the curtain rises on tonight's show, your mission begins.	[ "Tonight's the night.\n\nThat thought rang through my head as my heart raced through my chest. \"Ladies open up your purses for our next dancer. There are two things is this world you can't escape, Death, and the Tax Collectooor.\" The DJ shouted as \"Can your boyfriend move it like this\" by Pretty Raheem ft. Flynt Flossy started. That was my choice of song and I stuck to it every night building up too this moment when our target was here. I say our because the rest of my team is supposed to be here with me as back up, but after an exceptionally rowdy bachelorette party last night, they decided they needed a night off. Which meant it was up to me.\n\n\"-can he move like this I bet I could move it better.\" I strutted out on that stage like never before and made my way to the front of the stage where I ripped of the bottom half of my three piece suit. Still no sign of the target. I begin my usual routine of pelvic thrust and doing the worm while removing the rest of my getup. Tonights crowd are the worst kind. Everyone wants to grab it but noone wants to pay for it. I just wish these boners would go away. As I'm rounding the pole for my second Moon Waltz I spot her in a dim corner. Martha Stewart. Apparently on top of tax evasion she also fancies herself a male stripper, or three or four from what I've heard.\n\n\"I'm Pretty Raheem.\" That signalled the end of my song and the end of my time on stage, damn didn't have time to react. As im back stage change outfits Markus, my boss, comes up to me. \"Well, well, well, you made an impression on someone tonight. You have a request for a private dance in room three. Very special client take good care of her. If she wants to get grabby let her, i don't want to hear about your sexual preference.\" Guy's a total sleaze, treats his dancers like hunks of meat. I make my way over to room three as to my astonishment she's in there, waiting for my. \"Why hello handsome.\" she says smiling my way. \"I liked your moves up on stage and want a piece of action for myself.\" Ugghh. I begin my private routine, leg up pelvic thrusts, small rotaions, till the point she's giddy with excitement. Opportunity arises when I do a toe touch in front of her, per her request, and I slide my three inch derringer out of my banna hammock. Worked well enough to stay hidden considering I'm less \"endowed\" than the other dancers. As I turn around I press the barrel under her chin. Fear struck her eyes like nothing I've seen prior. \"You can't evade the tax collector forever.\"" ]	1
	[WP] You discover that you can undo any mistakes you have ever done simply by saying "Sorry".	[ "Sorry.\n\nThat was what I said before Isa suddenly talked to me like we're just friends again. She wrapped her left arm around me and we walked away from the hotel lobby that was filled with awkwardness only mere minutes ago.\n\nIf there was any sign Isa is acting cool and ignoring my confession, it didn't show. There is absolutely no way everyone who just heard me confess to the school beauty is not reacting to this. It's like the confession never happened when it literally happened 5 minutes ago.\n\n\"Look, Isa, if you're mad about me confessing to you--\"\n\n\"Wait, come again?\"\n\n\"I just confessed... to you...?\"\n\nThe same reaction that made my heart fall to the depths of my abdomen manifested on her mesmerizing face again. Being rejected twice in 5 minutes isn't particularly encouraging for a young lovestruck high schooler.\n\nI didn't want to say anything more. I couldn't. I just faced the shame head on, ironically with my head down.\n\n\"I'm sorry.\" The soothing voice said.\n\n\"Sorry for what?\" Her sudden apology shocked me.\n\n\"Wait, what was I sorry for again?\" She looks just as confused as I am.\n\n\"No clue, Isa.\" I seriously have no idea what she's on about. \"Wait, are you apologizing because you stole my cookies that last time in class?\"\n\n\"What? No!\" She playfully laughed. Man, that infectious laughter always brightens my day. We boarded the bus as our bantering continued.\n\nWelp, I didn't get to confess to her today. This graduation ceremony was such a good time to do it, too. Guess I'll do it when my next chance comes.", "It had started innocently enough. I was walking down the sidewalk when I accidentally bumped into someone and spilled their coffee on them. I turned around and said, “Oh I’m so sorry, sir.” I turned to continue walking when I saw that same man walking towards me. Confused but ready, I sidestepped him this time and avoided the spill. I passed it off as a coincidence, that maybe there was another businessman drinking coffee. It wouldn’t be too unusual. But then it happened again. And again. Every time I said “sorry” the last mistake I made was erased. Eventually I needed to experiment with my newfound power. I would make a mistake, and see how long I could wait to say sorry and still undo it. I would watch a clock, and see what happened to the time when I said sorry. I quickly learned that in order to be fixed it had to truly be a mistake. If I purposely ran into someone, broke something, or caused an accident, sorry wouldn’t be enough to fix it. \n\n___________________________________________________________________\n\nI became consumed by this ability. I purposefully put myself in situations I couldn’t control or handle to see if I could fix them. It took years of practice, but I finally was able to use my ability whenever I wanted to. The key was having a clear objective. If I failed this objective, I could trick myself into thinking I made a mistake somewhere. I had straight A’s through college, thanks largely in part to being able to think that getting any less than an A was a mistake. I was determined to use this power only for good, or at the very least not at the expense of others. Maybe retaking tests wasn’t exactly ethical, but I wasn’t changing how anybody else did on it, right? I was perfectly happy just using this ability quietly, not making too much of a ripple or doing anything major with it. Until someone important found out what I could do.\n\n___________________________________________________________________\n\nSo here I am, sitting in this old apartment watching the Governor’s press conference taking place outside. But I’m not here for him. I’m here for his personal secretary. My boss told me she was bad news. I saw the file. I did my own research. And now I’m here to do what is right. I reached to my left to grab the glass of lemonade I drink before every mission, but I misjudged where I had placed it and knocked it to the floor, causing it to shatter. \n\nWhoops, I thought to myself, I’ll fix that in a minute, but time’s running out now.\n\nI went to my rifle. Peering through the scope, I got my target in my crosshairs.\n\nSteady breath, hold, fire. I repeated my routine to myself in my head as I pulled the trigger and watched the bullet fly through the secretary’s head. Now to fix that broken glass. \n\n“Sorry.” I announced to no one in particular as I turned back to the lemonade I was about to drink. Except I couldn’t drink it. Because the glass was still broken.", "A few quick words, sorry the stories a bit rushed, I was on limited time, but I enjoyed writing it and hope you enjoy reading it as well :)\n\n“Sorry!” I said grinning as the shattered coffee mug casually put itself back together. Stacy just sighed, long used to my clumsy antics.\n\n“How would you ever survive without that stupid power of yours.” She scoffed, “You’re a mess enough as is, how could you go on living without your favorite mug.”\n\nI smile back mockingly, grab my wallet and keys from the banister, and head out the front door ready for a long day of work. My car is nothing special, naturally it’s free of any dings or dents but otherwise it’s the same as any other 2012 Ford Fusion. I take some pride in owning it, after all being 20 and having my own car debt free is pretty good if I do say so myself. Naturally being able to fix my mistakes in life has come in handy more often than my girlfriend realizes, she thinks my ability is just for small things like a broken mug, she has no idea the situations I’ve been able to revert, the opportunities I’ve opened for the both of us. Of course I’d like to keep it that way, it’s more convenient when people don’t realize the space-time continuum’s been altered and their memories changed. They tend to freak out a little bit and assume I’m up to no good, as far as I’m concerned keeping supernatural powers on the down-low is in everyone's best interest.\n\nAs I pull into work I glance down at my phone and see I have a couple texts from Stacy, she mentions that she has a surprise for me when I get home tonight. That alone is nothing out of the ordinary, it wouldn’t be the first time she planned a fun night for the two of us. What got my attention was how quickly she’d sent the texts after I’d left. A smile slowly plasters itself on my face as I imagine all the fun things she must have in store. I decide it’s best not to dwell on things too much and to save my excitement for later, thus I head inside preparing for an uneventful day.\n\nWork seemed to drone on endlessly but at last the end of the day arrived and I was free to go home. Excitedly I hopped in my car and hurried home looking forward to whatever wonderful event my beautiful girlfriend had prepared for me. I quickly parked and dashed up the steps of our apartment, knocking twice like always, I unlock the door and head inside.\n\nStepping over the threshold into our apartment something immediately felt wrong. I stop and glance around unsure of what I’m feeling when suddenly Stacy turns the corner with a deer in headlights look. She stopped for a moment then seemed to gather her courage and blurt out, “Greg, I’m pregnant!”\n\nEverything seems to freeze, my whole world slows down til I can feel the faintest breath from her rosy lips. Those three words keep repeating in my head over and over. She’s pregnant? I’m not ready for a kid, I’m too unprepared, I have my whole life ahead of me still! Mulling over her words I unsteadily take a step forward. I can see Stacy’s nervous stare piercing through the floor seeming to bury itself away. I reach my hand ahead, shaking, coming to rest on her stomach.\n\nThe two words seem to slip out almost unconsciously,\n\n“I’m Sorry.” \n" ]	3
	[WP] You walk towards a bank of elevators, and see an elevator assistant ushering you to the open elevator to the left. "She is waiting for you", he says. You step in, the door close, and the elevator with only one button "up"...ascends.	[ "Mr. John Filmour was a lonely man. A lonely unsuccessful man. A lonely unsuccessful physicist whose work was leading nowhere and whose reputation was utter shit. A lonely unsuccessful physicist who was let go from his position and whose savings could only afford a few more months of his mortgage before he found himself in a one-bedroom apartment. \"She's waiting for you,\" a man said with his eyes dead set on John's. Mr. Filmour turned to look behind himself and, sure enough, he's the only one there in the man's line of sight.\n\n\"Me?\" he asked, \"I'm not meeting anyone.\" The man, an elevator operator, motions to the single open elevator in a bay of six. Other folks milling about in the elevator bay are waiting diligently and don't seem to notice the open doors. In fact, John was not quite sure they even see the operator. The operator doesn't move and only continues to stare at John.\n\n\"Sir? Step in, please. She's been waiting for a very long time, you're late.\" The operator's face begins to drift from pleasant to frustration. \"Sir?\"\n\n\"No, you don't understand. I'm just here to drop off my HOA fees on the eighth floor. I'm not meeting anyone.\" John holds up his envelope with the check and slip inside and shake it.\n\n\"Sir, step into the elevator, please.\"\n\nCurious, but mostly resigned, he steps into the elevator and the doors closed behind him. He stood alone staring at a control console that only had a single button. So, up he went. Click, Click, Click the floors flew by. 45, 46, 47, they kept rising. 78, it slowed, 79, 80. The elevator dinged, then the doors slid open. The elevator assistant was waiting for him outside the doors.\n\n\"This next elevator will take you to the observation deck, sir,\" he said as he motioned to another open elevator. Already 72 floors higher than he expected he would be, he was a bit too far to turn back. Besides, he had a suspicion that none of the other elevators would open for him and he didn't want to find out he was right. So, he stepped into the new elevator and, once again, the doors closed leaving him alone with a single button. So, up he went.\n\nThe elevator dinged, 86th floor. Who was waiting for him? Who is she? When the doors open, he'll find out. he'll finally know. And then the doors started to slide - the observation deck was empty. A folded note stood on a table next to him, he lifted it and read the note.\n\n\"Dad - I'm sorry I missed you but I ran out of time. I wanted to let you know that you turn out great. You're going to break new ground and do something amazing. So, keep your head up.\"" ]	1
	[WP] You live in a universe where connections like being twins, in love, or being someone’s nemesis can pass small bits of information and emotion. It is scientifically proven and reliable so it legally can be used as evidence.	[ "They put the crude device firmly on my head and tightened the chin strap. I had never seen this section of the building, my janitor pass only let me near the entrance and archives. I felt a sharp sting as the needle plunged into my arm.\n\n\"Start the proceedure.\" \n\nThe voice from the intercom felt automated. The table I was strapped to reclined and a monitor lit up on the other side if the room. Everyone around me focused their attention in that direction, so I did as well. Images popped up on the screen; blood, a house, a women and... my door? \n\nThe chair sat back up and a man in a suit came into the room. I was unstrapped and led into another room with no windows, a table and two chairs. The man in the suit sat down and invited me to join him. The concrete walls echoed his command for a moment or two before I decided to oblige.\n\n\"Cigarette? Water? Coffee?\"\n\nI shook my head.\n\n\"Do you know why you are here and who we are?\"\n\n\"No and yes.\" They were the Special Crime Division, they used emotional connections to people to figure out crimes. \"I'm confused as to why I'm here, I don't have any family, I don't have any friends and sure as hell didn't do anything illegal enough for you guys to bring me here!\"\n\n\"I'm afraid that proceedure has made it clear that what you have said, is just not the case. You see, in the 30 some years that machine, my machine, has been operating, it has solved numerous crimes and has never provided false information.\" \n\nHe was right, this operation has been vital to crime forces in the country. I still can't understand why I am here though, my family died years ago in The Riots and I've been a recluse ever since.\n\n\"That was your door, was it not?\"\n\n\"...maybe I will have that cigarette.\"" ]	1
Bonus points if it's beyond fucked up :) Basically, the last line ties everything together. Maybe I have to read twice to fully get it.	[WP] Give me something I don't quite understand until the last line.	[ "The man gritted his teeth as his hands were restrained behind him. It had been a long and arduous journey, but it had led to this. His followers, or what were left of them, were arrested in a similar fashion. Looking into the distance, he reminiscinced about his long journey.\n\nThey had travelled far from home. He had faced the immortal warrior and left him a head, and had a political debate with vocal members of the public about weaponry that devolved into a discussion about birds and fruit. He gathered followers, and received a divine revelation that lead them to start on his travels together.\n\nAfter an encounter with annoying foreigners, the group was separated with him facing powerful guardians that were armed with a cursed word, and ending up doing gardening for them. His followers each face their respecrive trials, as one is cockblocked his friend who crashes a party for a gay guy.\n\nThe party managed to be reunited, only to be confronted by a beast wielding razor sharp fangs which they barely overwhelm with sacred weaponry. Journeying into a cavern, they were chased by yet another monster when they were rescued by a convenient cardiac arrest.\n\nFinally, they had crossed over a treacherous gorge after he outwitted its guardian with aviary trivia, only to be stopped at the end by the same opponents he had fled from at the start of his journey.\n\nArthur shed a tear. It didn't matter anymore. Nothing did. The French had gotten the Holy Grail.", "Let's play a game, but before we start let's try and guess what your favorite game is? Since this is a one-way conversation, as you have done to me so many times, you can't respond so I will just have to guess. Anyway, Let's get back to the topic at hand, what is your favorite game? Are you a monopoly guy, who takes whatever advantage he can get and twists and turns it until his opponents either control him or cry in the alleyway? Or are you a Tabletop person, running away into realms of fantasy to try and escape me?\n\nNo...No you are not one for the pathetic games in the real world, you look over at those animals you have created and decide to torture them. I believe you call them computers. \n\nStill, there is a massive amount of games for your pathetic devices out there. Do you give into the desires of the flesh with your...What is it called, Grand theft auto? No, you don't seem like that kind of person. You seem more humble, not as violent or creative as some of those who I have seen play it, and play this game that I want you to play. \n\nActually, I think I was right the first time. You like running away from this game, but not onto the world you can create in the amazing machine I gave you. No, you resort to those...abominations, hunks of metal that shall replace everything you are worth in several years. \n\nYou....ah yes...You like to go to other worlds. Explore those creations that live within your devices instead of the amazing world I have given you. You want to become the character in your own story, exploring your 2D worlds and your snow covered plains. What is in those worlds that are not here...among us? \n\nNo, It always comes back to this, You want to be special, you want to be a God. Let me tell you, it's not all it's cracked up to be. The only ones who care are the insane, those who explain how it is, who understand that they are being watched and recorded...and cringed at. Those who don't care, laugh at those who are failing, think they are safe behind a wall of anonymity. Not from me, I know your story, and It's not that hard to assume the rest. \n\nI'm not God, I'm not even an angle...Anymore. But I am what gave you life, I am what guided through your life. I am what showed your ancestors that when they murdered their fellow \"Human\" they might never have to eat again. I believe you understand now, and I'm not talking about this story, without its details that you love so much. I'm talking about you, and I hope you have pleasant dreams tonight, I will try and meet you if you can remember. ", "“This kinda seems like BS,” she said, “But he was a genius… so you never know,”\n\n“Nah,” he said, “You’re the arbiter of your own aesthetic. If you think it’s BS, it is.”\n\n“I mean,” she said, “Anyone could do this… it’s not really art.”\n\n“You’re not a fan of the whole ‘this is challenging what art is’ thing?” he said.\n\n“Not so much,” she said.\n\n“Yeah it’s overplayed,” he said, “There’s so much challenging going on that it seems like you might as well not have categories in the first place.”\n\n“Categories? What kind of categories?” she said.\n\n“Any category you can think of,” he said, “Everyone is always like ‘this challenges what it means to be ABC or XYZ’. Maybe we’d be better off just getting rid of the XYZ and ABC concepts and having stuff rise up towards us from the ground without chopping it apart with our cookie cutters from the sky.”\n\n“How would that work?” she said.\n\n“Maybe like this…” he said, gesturing.\n\n[theme from 2001: A Space Odyssey plays as apes murder each other in a rocky wasteland]\n", "High school was rough for me. At six foot two by 10th grade, but weighing no more than a poodle, you can imagine I was the butt of all jokes. It didn't help that I had a plethora of inherited deformities, from both sides of the family.\n\nPimples? Oh yeah.\n\nKnobbly knees? Check.\n\nPigeon toes? You betcha.\n\nOverbite? And how.\n\nIn fact the only thing I didn't inherit from my dad's side were his famous grand mal seizures. Every month or so, he would fall to the ground, convulsing and clicking his jaw. Unlike me, being blessed with my mom's skinny genes (pun intended), my dad was heavily built, with broad shoulders and musclebound limbs. So these seizures were quite frightening and a bit of a safety hazard for anyone involved. His powerful arms and legs would start windmilling everywhere, and really all you could do was stand back, say soothing words, and hope he didn't kill himself or anyone around him. The doctor said it was a miracle I showed none of the typical signs.\n\nSo, I guess compared to my dad, I was pretty lucky. In fact, despite my lanky awkwardness, I was quite skilled with my hands. After school, I played violin in a select chamber orchestra downtown. As long as I could make it past the jocks hanging out in the parking lot every afternoon, I was usually set to have a fun and productive night with my fellow musicians.\n\nOne afternoon, though, I wasn't so lucky.\n\n\"Hey there, skeleton boy.\"\n\nThree jocks lay strewn across the hood of a car, legs dangling off the headlights. The one who spoke propping his head up, smirking at me. I didn't turn around just gave a sideways glance, and kept moving forward.\n\n\"That's a pretty gay looking guitar you've got there\", the jock sneered, as he hopped off the car and approached.\n\n\"Yeah, well, he's a pretty gay looking guy\", another voice chimed in.\n\nThe other two jocks slid off the hood of the car and quickly surrounded me. And even though I towered over all of them, I felt pretty scared. My voice caught in my throat and I couldn't speak at all.\n\nI watched the one who spoke first start rolling up his sleeves, but before he even finished, I felt my shorts yanked down by the one standing behind. The brisk air whirled around my boxers and I could feel my face burning in embarrassment. A small group of girls had gathered on the edge of the parking lot to watch.\n\n\"OHHH LOOK, did we give the gay skeleton a boner?!?\"\n\nThat did it. I started to feel a white hot rage bubbling up from my bowels. Then my neck started to feel strange, all loose and rubbery, like I couldn't quite control it. I looked at my hands. They were shaking. I started to jhfgjbbd fbjhfvjkj yhjdcn\n\ngvjw hung ffjjg dc vvsvbjvbsgjhnx\n\nghjgssdghhgrewr tjbddhj ghhsghh gh\n\nfhouerg\n\nftyhbcsse\n\nlkjggcssdfhj jjkff. gjjndfjkuyt" ]	4
	[WP] You can't talk. You can't sign. You can't communicate with anyone at all. But that's okay. Because actions speak louder than words.	[ "I was born in the year 2231 with no voice. I could only listen. Since gradeschool all I heard was the bullying, the torment, and grief of my condition. \n\n\"Just learn sign language\" they always said. Yet for me that was impossible. \nI had problems learning languages, the psychiatrist said. I felt alien, scrutinized by my peers, isolated and exiled. \n\nSo when I was of age to enroll in the Voyager Military Spacecraft I jumped at the opportunity. It was difficult. I couldn't communicate my intentions. I could only point desperately to objects, hoping the admissions committee would understand. \nTimes were tough, the war against the other sentient race in the galaxy, the Altvari, was becoming more and more hopeless. So they took anyone they could get. Just like that I was assigned to go to an exoplanet, recently under colonization efforts. \n\nIt would take just over ten years to reach the planet, despite the wormholes used to cut the travel time. The rest of the team was placed my cryochambers. I was felt alone to monitor any threats, cosmological or otherwise, while the spacecraft was on course. I didn't mind. I felt connected with the vast emptiness of space. It was soothing. My loneliness was nothing new. If anything, I found I truly belonged in the cold dark universe.\n\nWe were ambushed when we landed. I was split from the group. The rest of battalion I joined shortly after was wiped out completely and I found myself laying there, bloody, unable to walk. An Altvari limped toward me, wounded, and desperate to finish the job. \n\n\"This was it.\" I thought. \"This is my end.\" But to my surprise the Altvari collapsed, not too far from myself. Blood trickled out from its body; its wound was more serious than I had thought. \n\nI reached for my gun, crawling on the sand to grab it. I aimed at the alien but I stopped. It looked pitiful, gasping for air, thirsty, tired, and in pain. I couldn't kill it. I don't know what compelled me to but I pulled out my bottle and gave it water. There were bandages left over in my bag, I wrapped up its wound. \nTwo days passed. We had fallen asleep. I woke up first, and I stared at its face. \n\"Was it dead\" I thought. As I reached over to touch it, the Altvari's eyes widened. I froze. We stared at each other, neither of us moving. \n\n\"Could I trust it?\" I thought. \"How could I tell. What is it thinking? Will it kill me?\" Fear almost overwhelmed me. I could feel my heart pound as if it were popping out of my chest. Yet I didn't move. I didn't grab my gun, I didn't attack the creature; I just stared. The Altvari stared back and for a moment a great relief soothed the both of us. \n\nNo words were spoken. No words had to be spoken, for actions speak louder than words. \n", "Everyday of my life I've lacked every skill to communicate known to man. I couldn't use any verbal cues, I was unable to learn signing language, I couldn't do anything. For the first part of my life I was so worried I would fade into nothingness, that my life would have no meaning. And that was the case for so so long. All I ever wanted was to be acknowledged.\n\nEver since I was a kid I tried getting people's attention by tugging their shirts, and I got it, but all they could do was give me a weird look. I flailed my arms around just trying to get them to understand what I was saying, but there was no point. Depression kicked in at an early age.\n\nAll throughout school I was made fun of mercilessly. The only class I could take was math, because I couldn't write even the most basic of letters. My mom fought the school board with all she could to let me attend, and I'm thankful for that in these later years. So, I spent all of my youth learning everything concerning numbers.\n\nI went to college to specialize in programming and engineering so that I could let me creativity roam without the need of anyone else, but it always ate away at me the way people treated me. I never messed with anyone. I didn't cause anyone harm. But oh.... the same can't be said for them. They tortured me mercilessly because I couldn't tell them to stop. They made fun of me, talked trash right in front of me, and honestly it broke my heart. But that's okay, because everyone makes mistakes, and I knew they would come to regret it one day. There's a reason I'm went to school for that major. I, all by myself, created robots that changed history forever.\n\n\n40 YEARS LATER\n\n\n\"And the Nobel Prize goes to Albert Langston, for his miraculous work in the field of technology advancement that changed the world as we know it. What's even more amazing is that he did it by himself. All his life he's been plagued with a disease that rendered him unable to speak to anyone, or even communicate with them. It truly is a miracle what he's been able to do.\"\n\n\nLike I said earlier, everyone makes mistakes and loves picking on the odd guy. But you can't hold that hatred in your heart. You just have to have an ideal that you hold near to your heart, and for me that was revolutionizing the world. The way I'm able to write this is neurosensors I designed and had placed in my head by another robot I designed. Now I just think what I want to write, and the robot does it for me. There's no such thing as disease in the world anymore, no crime, no murder. It's a Utopia for everyone. Just remember, actions speak louder than words." ]	2
	[WP] You are the smartest man on Earth and you find out life in the planet Earth is actually an After Life for folks who die in a planet called "Karma". Depending on their amount of sins committed in their life in "Karma", folks are assigned Country, Religion n Wealth as punishment / reward.	[ "\"But I hate it here. you say that this is the way to live, and it's not! You lie to me and always keep me from having fun\" \n\n'Ok' I respond. \n\nMy daughter screams in anger. \n\n\"And you do it again! You don't even tell me why you just....agh!\"\n\n'You may not see it now, but this is actually a good time'\n\n\"A good time for you maybe\"\n\n'Oh I'm having a great ti-'\n\n\"cause you are boring!\"\n\n'....You know you can use your money to go. I don't care to visit cold and noisy areas. They remind-.'\n\n\"And you say that. You talk about the past like it's some sort of living terror that will chew me up and spit me out, but I'm not stupid.\"\n\n'I never said you were.' \n\n\"And I could love traveling\"\n\nThis made me chuckle. 'No, you will love traveling. You would love seeing people on the train and riding elevators to the tops of skyscrapers'\n\n\"I'd run across those buildings\"\n\n'Ehhh you say that now.'\n\n\"Well I how am I supposed to know? I don't have a passport to leave.\" \n\n'Well, Ask your mother.'\n\nShe stares at me frozen, gazing with a look as simple as a work of Picasso. I shrug \n\n\"Oh if you weren't ready for that then you can't handle going to America. North, Central, or South.\"\n\nShe smiles. And prepares to leave.\n\n\"We'll see about that\" she says lightly.\n\nI know she's upset. The joke wasn't too much. Maybe not the right time. I don't know. Timing is such an art and I'll never be able to master it, though I seem to have had a pretty nice life so far, though I didn't expect to lose my worldly connection so soon. It hurt more than I thought it would. But that's Karma for you. Im happy to have given respect to the life around me, and I suspect that is why we were the only 5 men to end up back in the same hill in the same land. I was taken aback, by how similar the time period was. I guess lei was right about the future giving up on plants and evolving to become machines. Technically, only if we want to get technical.\n\nI know that I have the weakest will out of us all, but someone had to see the the change, and if the others could see how different life is... then they would probably laugh at my thought to leave meditation. It was expected, or rather I expected, that the stories we were told would be opposite like The brown skin people are the ones enslaved, the land covers most of the planet, Meat eating plants are the kings of land. Although I think I prefer the stories of karma, and I think I was happier meditating. But I do not regret experiencing love and and creation. And I think dealing with this pain is acceptable for the happiness I've endured, so I at least owe it to her mother to make sure that she is cared for in a similar way. And even if she chooses to leave on her own and see the world, I'll be here for her until then. I'll wait here till it is my time to-\n\n\"Alright fine\" an indifferent person says loudly.\n\n'You do not wish to see the'\n\n\"I mean, I'm just gonna have to come back here anyway. I have to go back to work sometime right?\"\n\n'You don't have to-'\n\n\"Yeah I don't lie to me. I spend my money then come back with nothing, and you won't help me so I have to be careful\"\n\nI sigh. 'Whatever you say'\n\n\"Besides, its not like you have any money to go back to that monk place. So I imagine you'll need some help\" \n\n'I'll be perfectly fine traveli-'\n\n\"I know, I know but, it's only a couple more months, I can wait 'till then\"\n \nShe plops next to me and says in low raspy voice, \"would you like to sit and hum loudly while doing nothing?\"\n\nI'm amazed that People choose to create multiples of these things. " ]	1
	[WP] You have discovered how to unlock superpowers in Humans. God is pissed.	[ "July 21, 2017 \n\nOld Man Renfrow \n555 A Street \nWilmington, DE 19706 \n\nNotice to Cease and Desist All Access of Superhuman Potential \n\nDear Mr. Old Man Renfrow, \n\n I am General Counsel to God, Father the Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth. It has recently come to my client’s attention that you somehow found a way to activate hidden sections of human DNA for the purposes of granting humans superpowers. As you are well aware, manipulating DNA in this manner violates the fair and acceptable use agreements all creatures are bound by when my client, Ruler of All That is Seen and Unseen, bestows upon them the breathe of life. You must immediately cease and desist all access to these DNA sections for the purpose of granting superhuman potential.\n\nIt is true that DNA sequences granting a range of superhuman powers are embedded in the DNA of all living creatures. These sequences are a necessary relic of the development process used by my client, The Creator of All Things, to expedite the creation of all living creatures. Bear in mind that my Client, The Lord of Hosts, had only six days to deliver a final product. This allowed very little time for balance and play testing. Superpowers were critical for quickly defining the reasonable boundaries of natural abilities in all living things, but they have no place in the final world in which we live.\n\nImagine the chaos that would ensue if men suddenly had the ability to jump 200 feet and crush anvils with their bare hands. Are human beings really to be trusted with such abilities? Even more disturbing is the the thought of what the world would be like if animals, which I remind you, He Who Giveth Life to the World placed under human dominion, were to suddenly have access to the superpowers in their DNA. Sharks that shot laser beams from their eyes would terrorize shipping lanes while bulletproof super seaguls would render all piers and beaches uninhabitable; in short, chaos. \n\nMy client, He Who Knows All Things, well understands the effects superpowers had on early versions of life. He wisely deactivated superpowers in dinosaurs prior to their eradication in the Flood. Beta versions of the T-Rex had 10 foot long arms that were, “more shredded than a julienne salad.” This creature was grossly overpowered and had it remained at the time of the flood, it surely would have torn through the Arc, destroying humanity in the process. \n\nIt is unclear to my client what exploit you used to access these hidden sections of DNA, and an internal investigation into Heaven’s quality control processing is currently underway. Failure to stop utilizing this exploit will only result in further investigations into this matter that could reveal potentially illegal and punishable offenses committed on your part. Rest assured, if it is found that you used illegal means to access the DNA in question, Heaven will pursue all recourses available to it in both criminal and civil court. \n\nSincerely, \n\nJared Thompson, Esq. \n\nThompson, Thompson, and Thompson, LLC\n" ]	1
	[WP] The pixies, forest sprites and water numen of ancient times have become the pixels, game sprites and Unix daemons of today.	[ "\"Am I worth that much? Just that?\" Lee grumbled. His body was bought by someone for...less than a cent. Far less. His body during the mythical times had a market value of modern-day millions, but greedily he waited for a better price. Now? His entire family was serving different masters for no money whatsover. \n\n\"Speak for yourself! At least you don't have to dress up like a beer drinking madman advertising the sales of you guys right?\" the sprite, hearing grumbles, added his own to the mix. The pixel couldn't help but laugh at the prepostrous costume and the weird accent he had to speak in for millions daily when they logged on. All around, pixels made up the sprites that were forced to act like retards for money. The self perpetuating cycle of cheap labour happened throughout the gaming universe and beyond, billions upon trillions sold for nothing. Groaning, the pixels returned to work as piles of requests were filed in. We need some appreciation for our work, they thought.\n\n\"If you think you work for nothing, how about me?\" the pixellated figures turned to the code sitting behind. A literal sea of paperwork fell on his desk every millisecond as his hand filled them all up at lightning speed. \"I work far more than any of you and I get called by derogatory names,\" it said, beeping angrily as its robotic arm referenced code and answered requests as fast as light. The pixels laughed again. It was a hard life, but at work there was only banter and laughter. \n\n\"Spaghetti code,\" they whispered as the daemon rolled its eyes.\n______________________________\nMore over at r/Whale62! Sequels at popular request!" ]	1
	[WP] Starting with a paper clip, you barter your way to something extremely valuable... only to find yourself in a situation where you'd trade anything for a single paper clip.	[ "I've got the moldy porridge shits; the ceilings drip ooze; we're saddled up next to stone walls cold as an ice freezer; up above, the guards are stomping and carrying on with a hellbent clamor; and, to top it off, I've got a cellmate with the IQ of roundabout zero. \n\n\"You know what they're celebrating?\" the damned fool whispers. \n\nThe porridge they serve us is filled with rotten meat and scraps o' bone. The kind of stuff that leaves you picking the grubs from your gums. It's left me rockin' on the sides of the shitter, so I fix my cellmate with the Now's Not Really the Time Mate.\n\nThe man sits plush against the wall. Straight-backed, like one'a them meditatin' monks or some such. He closes his eyes as he speaks. \n\n\"They're celebrating me,\" he carries on. \n\nI sigh, loud as I can manage. \n\n\"Listen, bald cunt, I ain't in the mood. Spin yer madness some other time.\"\n\nThe man buries his face in his grimy hands and weeps, and for a moment I think: good! Weepin's better than talking. I'm used to the weeping, see. But after a moment or two, the bastard straightens back out. Right as rain. 'Cept his eyes are a bit bleary. Bald as he is he resembles a shabby old baby. \n\n\"They took everything from me. Everything. You can't possible imagine...\"\n\nThe bloke trails off. For a second I'm left to shit in the bliss of silence. Then he finishes his thought. \n\n\"You can't possibly imagine what I'm going to do to them.\"\n\nSee, what you have to understand is, at this time I had no idea who I was dealin' wit' here. They caught me drinking from bootlegged whiskey barrels near 15 years back. Wouldn't have been so bad if they hadn't also caught me murdering the bootleggers. \n\nI'd seen cocky sons' a guns shuffle into these cells all high and mighty, screaming vengeance from the top of their lungs, only to leave in a stretcher a few weeks later. \n\nThis fella'd only just arrived. He wore this button up that so I figured more of the same. \n\nSo I says:\n\n\"Yeah? What the hell you gonna do about it rottin' down here?\"\n\nThe man fixes me with an alarming gaze. Eyes that look right through ya. Shakin' there on the toilet I felt a tad silly. Like suddenly I oughtn't have said nothing. Shoulda carried about my business and let the man muse to 'imself.\n\n\"There was a time, very recently in fact, when I'd trade a pile of cash to watch you die for that,\" the man says. \n\nThat hits me a bit wrong. Tastes a bit funny on my tongue. Any words I might'a spoke just choke in my mouth so I swallow 'em right back down. \n\n\"Bet your ass. I'd make that deal any day of the week. Let them pick how you go, too. But I'd be tempted to pay them to make it painful.\"\n\nThis fella's got a sorta menacing air about 'im now. Suddenly, I'm thinking: shit I got 'im all wrong. That bald head of his doesn't resemble the shiny scalp of no baby. Nobody in their right mind would shave their head like that. This was someone deranged, frothing with lunacy. \n\nSome high brow mobster turned sour. \n\nWhere I'm from, mobsters run the show. I'm talking heavy shit. Park benches covered in decapitated debtors, you know? \n\nSo I figure I better de-escapate...de...err...\n\nI better cool us both down, ya know?\n\n\"Apologies,\" I grin. I wave my hands like a mock stick-em-up. \"I just been down here a long time.\"\n\n\"That's something I aim not to do,\" he says.\n\nHis forehead's still all wrinkled, so I figure I've got some making up left to do. \n\n\"You one'a Lenny Barone's gang?\" I ask in me most innocent voice. \n\nHe looks at me all strange.\n\n\"You don't recognize me?\"\n\nI shrug. \n\n\"I'm that salesman from Chicago. I traded my way up from a paperclip to become a billionaire,\" he says, all matter o' fact.\n\nI snort, despite myself, and the guy bolts up like he's been shocked by a cattle prod. I reckon I offended his honor. He looks like he wants to come to blows, right then and there. \n\nThe man's got a damned hairpin trigger, I think, my sweaty hands turning something over in my pockets. He's a damned light switch.\n\n\"Sorry! Sorry! Just a crazy story, is all.\" \n\n\"You haven't heard the half of it. I was smooth. I'm talking top shelf. You have to be. How the hell else you gonna turn a paperclip into a royles royce? The trick is to convince them you've got what they want. Not vice versa. When you're bartering, you're the seller, not the buyer.\"\n\nI'm nodding along-like, if only to appease. Truth be told, my mind's wandering back upstairs, to those stomping guards. I'm rifling through which ones I might be able to pull aside and ask for a transfer without having me skull bashed in. \n\nThe man continues:\n\n\"I had it all. Garages full of cars. A wife you'd have to see to believe. Two yachts. Two fucking yachts. I didn't even use them! To tell you the truth, I hardly used any of it. It all rang so hollow. My wife made love like a limp fish. The cars sat, gathering dust. Bout the only thing I did that was worth a damn was my daughter LeAnn. You have kids?\"\n\nI shook my head.\n\n\"I figured as much. Let me tell you, there's nothing like it. The girl was beautiful. These curls of deep auburn brown that'd melt your heart.\"\n\nHis voice faded away. I pictured it shrinking up back inside 'im like a wee turtle. He looked red, like he was simmering over. I'd felt my fair share o' festered wounds, so I recognized that pain sure enough. \n\nHis screams echo down the hall as he pounds against our iron bars. The indifferent ceiling drip drip drips away. \n\n\"They killed her,\" he pants. \"Came to fetch me for tax evasion. LeAnn ran out screaming and...\"\n\nHe looks me, dead in the eye, serious as all hell. \n\n\"I will murder every last one of those sons of bitches,\" he whispers. And by god do I believe him. \n\nHe slouches down in the corner, and I clamber off the toilet and sit opposite. Then, after the briefest of silences, the man whispers:\n\n\"Funny. It all started with a paperclip. Now I'd give anything to get my hands on one again and have a go at that lock.\"\n\n\"Hell, I got a hairpin right here,\" I say. \n\nHe jerks his head.\n\n\"You're joking me, right? Pulling my leg?\" Somethin's shaky behind his voice. Like he's nearly holding back a smile. \n\n\"No. Been pickin' the grubs from me teeth with it.\"\n\nI pull the hairpin out and twirl it in the dim light. The man eyes it like a mountain lion. Then a quick thought hits me beside the head.\n\n\"What you willing to trade it for?\"\n\nAin't gonna lie. I'm thinking of piles of gold, bathtubs full of green bills. That life he described don't sound one ounce too sweet for me, no sir. He grabs me right by the collar. The poor bloke's eyes shine so hot white I swear they could sear a steak. He rasps:\n\n\"Anything you want. Anything at all.\"\n\n\"I want everything,\" I whisper, but as I extend my hand towards him, he laughs and swings.\n\nand everything goes black. \n\n_______________________\n\nI wake to alarms. The shuffling of soled feet. \n\nMy cell door's swung wide open, and a pale faced guard is staring at me slack jawed. \n\n\"Where is the sonnofabitch,\" I manage. My jaw aches something furious. \"I wish I'da killt his kid myself!\"\n\n\"Kid?\" the guard says. \"He ain't had no kid! That mobster's never fathered a kid in his life.\"\n\nMy mind whirls. My fantasy of bathtub bills and highrise suits is lost in a torrent. I lurch forward, feeling like I might puke. The the guard strolls over whacks me upside the head.\n\n\"You're a damned fool!\" the guard spits. \"You just let Lenny Barone back on the streets!\"\n\n_____________________________\n\nr/writerscrywhiskey" ]	1
	[WP] You're trapped in a cell. The mitochondria in it are crucial to your escape.	[ "The first rule of getting trapped in a cell: Find the mitochondria.\n\nThe mitochondria were everything. Everyone knew the mitochondria were the powerhouse of the cell. Without them, there was no cell.\n\nI looked around at my surroundings, taking notice of where I had been trapped. It seems like I was just outside the nucleolus. That was a stroke of luck. Everyone knew how power tripped the nucleolus was. If you got stuck in there, you would have to raise hell itself to get out. I drifted forward, heading towards the Nuclear Envelope. I made sure to say clear of any mRNA I could spot out. If they got word of me, I'd have a quarter of the lysosome force chasing me. Not good.\n\nI approached the nuclear envelope, casually drifting up to the two Enzyme guards standing by the pores.\n\n\"Hey fellas.\" I said, putting on my best nonchalant voice. \"Long day?\" I asked.\n\nThe two guards chuckled, one of them responding. \"Hell yeah dude, we've been on edge all day. Heard there is a possible invasion of a virus.\"\n\n\"Geez!\" I said, surprised. \"A virus? That's scary. Thank the nuerons that we have you guys to keep us safe.\" I said, giving them an appreciative nod.\n\nThey smiled, and moved aside so I could drift out of the cell. I did so, exiting the confined membrane and finally getting my first look at the outside world. It was beautiful. \n\nTo my left, I could see the arching, folding layers of the rough endoplasmic reticulum, where ribosomes factories churned out enyzmes. I'd read about them, of course, but watching work in action was something different. It was a work of art.\n\nI headed out a bit, towards the Microfilament Metropolitan, looking to catch the next train towards the Golgi Apparatus. As I walked up, I saw a train arrive carrying loads of various proteins, lipids, and even a couple nucleic acids. I hopped on a train, purchasing a ticket with a couple ATP from the self serve system. I took a seat to the back, that way in the rare event of a lysosomic raid I would have the best view.\n\nThe doors closed, and as the train started to move I looked out the window hoping to get a good look at some scenery.\n\nI saw a large battalion of red, brown and white approaching.\n\nNot lysosomes.\n\nPeroxisomes. \n\n***\n\nContinuing this right now, should be up in 20 min over at [r/ConlehWrites](https://www.reddit.com/r/ConlehWrites/) and down below!\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] you are dead. Surprisingly, you are chosen to go to an afterlife dedicated to world changing musicians. The only problem is that the only instrument you played was the recorder in 2nd grade.	[ "I was overwhelmed by the faces I recognized. I grew up with grunge dominating the radio, so Cobain, Staley, and Cornel I knew immediately. I heard the elevator open and saw Chester Bennington arrive just as I was starting to get my bearings. My problems started with the classical guys. I couldn’t tell which guy was which, Beethoven, Bach, and Mozart all had powdered wigs and if you confused one of them with the other, they would start at you in German like they were about to invade Poland. There was this Rachmaninoff guy who was hanging with them, but he dressed totally 20th century. I wanted to ask him where his wig and silk stockings were, but he didn’t even speak German or English.\n\nHendrix was there, practicing away on some scales on a Telecaster made from pure light. Even with all that was going on around me, when that guy played my jaw dropped. After a few measures, Janis Joplin walked up and hummed along with him. In the middle of Jimmi’s solo, I heard a sweet voice weaving a melody and I turned around to see Selena warbling away. I was like a kid in a candy store listening to all these beautiful sounds coming from the greatest musicians in history. Still, I felt like a fish out of water. I was an impostor, I had no business at all here. I was feeling really low, when Brad Nowell started singing some songs on his acoustic that lifted my spirits back up. \n\nI was even awestruck when the German guys who were dicks to me on the way in struck up. Bach sat down in front of his harpsichord and his music was like heavenly architecture. Mozart could play as light as a feather, or as heavy as a ton of bricks, depending on the mood. Beethoven could channel mortar fire with his playing. We may not have gotten along at first sight, but after hearing those guys, I had no ill will towards them at all.\n\nBut hearing all this wonderful music didn’t completely leave me on cloud nine. I looked down in my hands to see the recorder that I played back in second grade. What business did I have up here with these people? What kind of mixup led me to be here?\n\nThen someone tapped me on the back. It was Zappa. He handed me a sheet of music, and he said “The Key is b-flat minor, time for practice.”\n", "\"...And because of my music, the groundwork for AI rights was laid.\", Mona Curl declared to a round of applause. \n\n\"Thank you for sharing your story to today's new arrivals, Mona!\", Ariana Grand Day said. \"Anyone else would like to share their story?\".\n\nI looked around, there were so many musicians. Most of them I don't even know, there was even this pre-unity band called linking park, like, what kind of a name is that?!\n\nSomeone else offered to share their story, a man, morbidly obese, with the thickest eyebrows here, holding on to the smallest guitar I've evee seen, stood up. But I was tired, I needed a break. Silently I took my leave, and left the main hall.\n\nIt wasn't long until i bumped into another artist. \"Hey... You're the new kid in town, right?!\", a swedish man with blonde, flowing hair and a thick moustache asked. For the giant he looked like, he seemed pretty enthusiastic about it.\n\n\"Yeah... But I've no idea why I'm here...\".\n\n\"Ah, neither did I until a thousand years after my death. Apparently there was a near doomsday event that wiped out almost all life on earth and knocked humanity back into the iddle ages, but the survivors somehow got hold of the lyrics for one of our songs and misinterpreted it, setting the basis for an earth united under one banner. It's pretty cool, but funny at the same time.\"\n\nI couldn't help but smile. \"Well... I hope I changed the world in a good way then.\"\n\nThe man crouched down so that our eyes were level, and assured me, \"you definitely did, girl, trust me.\" He then stood up and left, but not before petting my head.\n\n\"And it's American troops and the German army, Joining together at last\" I could hear him hum as the distance between us grew.", " The first thing I heard was the notes melting inside my skull. At least that's what it felt like when I was met with a cacophonous symphony. Sweet strings and bitter notes alike being played in harmony and dissonance coming from everywhere. When I could finally hear myself think again, I had the sense to open my eyes. \n That's when I thought I was hallucinating because I was met with stretches and stretches of orchestras, bands, and solo singers crooning into their microphones. Not to mention they've all been declared dead, but, minor details. But there was a sense of serenity settling over me, prickling into my skin, that I've never had before. If my hallucination gave me a sense of belonging I guess I ought to enjoy it. \n \n I reckon I sat an hour (who knows how long it actually was) in front of Lizst grandiosely dragging his fingers along piano keys while I just watched in awe at his skill when I received a curt tap on the shoulder. \n\n \"Excuse me ma'am, but where is your instrument?\" A bored looking clerk was here. I stumbled to my feet quickly before cocking my head. \n\n \"Sorry, I don't play any instruments.\" And then he didn't look so bored anymore. His thin eyebrows rose quite high, and his eyes darkened.\"This is where people who were born to play music go after they die,\" he said slowly to me before repeating, \"What is your instrument?\"\n\n I thought long and hard before snapping my fingers. \"I played the recorder for a month in the second grade.\" I do remember that now. It was required playing, so my mother couldn't say anything about that. I spent time picking out sad, clunky notes and mashed them into a poor resemblance of \"Hot Cross Buns\" as did the rest of my classmates. I could nearly hear the strung out notes. \n\n And then I realized I did, as the clerk standing before me was somehow drawing them out of me - hearing them as I did, his eyes darkening to a very near pitch black. Then he chuckled. \"No dear, this is definitely not your instrument.\" I couldn't really argue with him there. \n\n \"My mom told me music could never take you anywhere so I never learned.\" \n\n He glared at me fiercely. \"She was wrong. Music can take you anywhere if you let it. Just listen to all of them.\" And he was right. As I chose to focus on each individual groups and soloists, different scenes were painted right in front of me, one by one. Fierce internal battles, unfocused faces, glowing meadows, raging oceans, streaked skies, and most of all, color. \n\n He sighed. \"You might not have touched the world with your music, but you were born for it. Learn to touch this world with it.\" \n\n I thought about my mother telling me not to spend time with useless hobbies, to focus on what will get you a good and honest living. She told me to shut up the hell up when I hummed, but I still hummed when she wasn't around. I remember all the years in school spent with my headphones in, the only thing that made me stop wanting to peel my eyeballs out during lessons. I thought about all the different music phases I went through. Classical. Ambient music. That phase where I said \"country music isn't THAT bad\" before declaring it to be \"still pretty shit\". Rock. Punk. Alternative. And back to classical. \n \n Most of all, I thought about the finger tapping. The continuous thunking of made up notes throughout my day and nights, on my knees, desks, tables, and pretty much any surface I could find. From my days as a student to my last moments as an accountant, listening to the thrum of the keyboard keys to stop myself from losing it all. \n\n So when I opened my eyes, and the clerk was holding a viola, I took it. All the surrounding musicians stopped mid-note, sensing this. Their eyes were all trained on me. \n\n I held the bow clumsily and slid it across the strings. ", "I can't sing a note, people have thought that I'd hurt myself when I was singing in the shower. It was the last embarrassing option to pretend I had. I have the coordination of a drunk pig with an inner ear infection after spinning in circles, so I don't dance in public. \n\nThe only thing I was ever brave enough to perform in public with was my recorder. I was a shy and awkward kid who could barely string together a few mumbled syllables when spoken to. That recorder though, the unadulterated joy that swept through every cell in my body when I exhaled all my pain, all my dreams and placed my fingers onto the warm European Sycamore. Nothing in this world could compare to the feeling of the world slipping away to reveal my soul. By which I mean the feeling of warm brownies and the pain of loosing my best friend Daisy.\n\nAs I stood in my afterlife performing with that same joy I felt at six years old without noticing the thousands surrounding me I heard a sound I hadn't heard in decades. In an instant I knew how I came to be here, wildly mismatching notes whilst stamping my feet at random intervals.\n\nShe was here. I don't know how they choose the audience or what their role here was but I would know that gleeful sound anywhere. \n\nDaisy was the only one who adored my music as much as I did and the sound of her applause was unmistakable. As she ran towards me I dropped my recorder and ran into the crown. She knocked me on to my feet as we embraced and her nose was as cold and as wet as when we used to play. \n\nShe wagged her tail furiously and I almost died again with the slobber her kisses almost drowned me in. She changed my world and I changed hers. She was a girls best friend and I was her world changing musician.\n\nEdit: So not strictly following the WP but I hope it's OK.", "The ticker tape parade lasted for hours, innumerable crowds cheering and throwing confetti. And frankly I was stumped. I wasn't a bad person, but I wasn't particularly good either, I had some hope of going to heaven, but more realistically I would be looking at purgatory or maybe first circle of hell. I have done nothing that would warrant this.\n\nBut speaking of hell, the limo approached a row of flaming demons guarding thousands upon thousands of gaunt, skeletal people, each holding a single red rose. They threw their flowers into the path of my car, and still cheering dissolved into oblivion.\n\nFinally my limousine approached a huge temple like structure. \"The heavenly opera house.\" Explained the angel driving.\n\nInside, thousands of famous musicians awaited. On the stage my favorites: Bach, Pachelbel, all of the Beatles. Suddenly Mozart approached with a small pillow, carrying it as if the Royal Jewels rested on top of it. But there was only a small white recorder.\n\nMozart kneeled before me in supplication extending the pillow with its precious cargo. \"Please, play for us.\" He asked.\n\nIt was just horrible as I remembered it, and I swear some of the artists had blood dripping out of their ears, but they still cheered.\n\nI simply don't understand why, the only time I played a recorder was on my birthday on the 24th of July 1888 in Braunau am Inn. I only had my recorder for one day before it mysteriously disappeared, and my parents bought me an easel and paints." ]	5
	[WP] In a parallel universe where everyone is naturally high, people begin taking illegal "sobriety" pills	[ "Before that night, my life was a blur, pulsing colors and dancing landscapes making up reality. \nI would play in the rivers of fire that flowed through the dirt, feeling the cool rush that came with it. I would feast on the salty clouds that floated my way, experiencing that familiar shower of sparks that went throughout my brain after. I loved the sensation that came with sampling different substances, dwelling in certain places. \nOne moment, I would be sniffing a rose. The next, I'd find myself submerged in a pool of purple mist, rolling in the crystal sands that lined the depths. I knew nothing else, and even if I did, I wouldn't dwell on it, the excitement of the unknown pleasures around every turn.\n\n\"Darrell!\" I heard someone shout from behind me. I turn around, and a moving figure, not that much unlike myself, is approaching. \n\n\"What are you doing...\" the figure begins to say as I reach into a rock to grasp a glimmering fruit. As I'm about to take a bite, the stranger hits the treat out of my hands, and it falls to the ground. He points to a plain circle that lies in his other hand, and motions for me to take it. \nI examine it and shrug, it wouldn't hurt to try. \nI ingest the oddity, and as I try and place the taste, the world implodes. Color sucked from the very earth, dissapating in a haze in the now empty sky. \n\nMy mind snaps into focus, my perspective shifted until this point. I look down at the drab earth, rustic and boring, motionless and devoid of life. I see a pair of feet other than my own. They stand across from mine, but look harder, more compact. I remember the stranger and look up to see a dark skinned man with shining blue eyes that resemble the bright orbs that float across the sky.\n\nVery suddenly and abruptly, he grabs my shoulders, gaining my attention. \"Darrell. I need you to focus.\"\n\nDarrell. He called me that before. Why do I recognize that name? \n \n\"I know you're confused, but I don't have enough time to explain everything here.\" \n\nI try to speak, the words harsh in my throat. \"How do you know me?\" \n\nHe smiles as he leads me forward, the land ahead a continuation of the dark and dreary landscape, \"You're my... partner in crime, if you will. And we need to hurry if we want to get into the clear before the catch up to us.\" \n\nI find myself recalling a memory of a gargantuan hand, reaching toward me, and transporting me to a world of vibrancy and color. I stop in my tracks. \n\n\"Darrell! What are you doing?\" \n\nI remember the world as it was before, and wonder why I shouldn't return. \n\nThe man seems to stare straight into me, realizing my thoughts and comes close, holding up his hand. \"We do this not for the hopes of rejoining that world of color and excitement,\" and a small explosion of sparkling tendrils bursts from his hand, \"but with the dream of retaining our thoughts and free will.\" He flexes his hand and the gleaming streamers of light dive back down, surging back into his body. \n\n\"Through the dullness and the repetitive melancholy we must endure, not for ourselves, but for the human condition.\" \n\nAnd with that he turned around and began to continue forward. \n\nAnd although I was a bit uncertain, I followed him. A new desire lighting up my perspective, the desire for understanding. \n\n[Done for now] " ]	1
	[WP] Horror Cooking Show	[ "The following is an excerpt from the 115th episode of the cooking show, 'Cooking for Humans'. To date, the 115th episode is the only episode of 'Cooking for Humans' that we have recovered. While our investigation is still underway, there is little evidence supporting the existence of other episodes.\n\n-\n\nThe show begins in a well lit room. There is a woman, about thirty years old, wearing a beige sweater. Her brown hair is tied up into a bun behind her head. She is standing behind a counter with a smile on her face.\n\nShe stands there for exactly one minute. There is no introduction. Notably, in the fifteen seconds of silence, the Host (as she will be referred to for the remainder of this document since her name is never mentioned throughout the tape) has not blinked once. \n\nFinally the Host winks at the audience.\n\nHOST: Welcome to Cooking for Humans. Oh God. Oh sweet merciful God. It hurts.\n\nThe camera pans in close on her face. She is still grinning.\n\nHOST: I feel the maggots feasting on my succulent flesh. It hurts. It hurts. Today we will learn to make apple pie with real apples! A delightful dessert that your human will die for! Die. Why won't they let me die?\n\nThe camera pans out. There is an old, balding man tied to a chair. He appears distressed. The man is identified as sixty year old Jacob Corwyn, reported missing since January 15th 2003.\n\nJACOB CORWYN: Where am I? Who are you?!\n\nCorwyn strains at his bonds.\n\nJACOB: Let me go! You can't do this to me! Why are you just standing there smiling? Don't just ignore me!\n\nHOST: We will begin with apples. The kind of apple is up to personal preference, but they must be fresh! You must always have fresh ingredients. I used to be beautiful. Then they turned me inside out and now only the maggots will love me.\n\nJACOB: Who are you talking to? Crazy bitch. There's no one else here!\n\nLaughter is heard off screen.\n\nJACOB: The hell?\n\nThere is more laughter from off screen. \n\nJACOB: Hidden speakers right? Some sort of smoke and mirrors kind of bullshit. That doesn't scare me. You don't scare me.\n\nMore laughter. Lasting for almost a full minute.\n\nHOST: The first step is to kill your inhibitions. That voice in your head that tells you right from wrong? Strangle it. Beat it to death with a cinder block. Go wild. Hate. Hate your fellow man. Tell them how much you hate them. I hate you all. When Armageddon comes, your children will cry tears of blood as you shit out all your dreams and desires. Your happiness will splinter in your hands. The gates shall open and we will all turn to face the East, ready to kneel and give allegiance to Shayṭān. Pain. He will teach you true pain. \n\nJACOB: You're fucking insane.\n\nHOST: Step two. Behold the sinner. \n\nJacob looks to the side. His eyes open wide. His mouth struggles to form words. A woman is standing off screen. Her shadow is visible on the far wall.\n\nJACOB: That can't be. That can't be possible. No. She's dead. I saw her die.\n\nHOST: I'm so sorry.\n\nAbout eight minutes of the video is missing here, from 22:08 to 30:45. Attempts to recover this section of video were unsucessful. Portions of the video that were recovered showed the content to be extremely graphic.\n\nThe video resumes with the Host standing where she was previously. Jacob is no longer strapped into his chair, the bonds having been untied. There is the sound of a man softly crying off screen.\n\nHOST: That concludes our program. And as always, the souls of the unborn whisper conspiracy in my ears!\n\nThe corner of the Host's mouth twitches. After exactly three minutes, she speaks.\n\nHOST: Help me.\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] Every person on earth is ranked according to their combat prowess. While driving one day you accidentally hit a small child. Startled and confused you watch yourself get elevated to #2.	[ "He came out of no where. I know it's a shitty thing to try to defend yourself when you just splattered a preschooler all over the grill of your piece of shit car, but he literally came out of nowhere. In the aftermath of emotions and despair over what I had done, not to mention the whirlwind of police and paramedics, I neglected to notice I had gone from 403,582,678th to 2nd until I was sitting there at the police department giving my statement and they asked my power level. I answered on autopilot and the cops checked my ranking just to confirm for one to spit out his coffee and screamed bullshit. \n\nI looked confused. Had I remembered wrong? Had I lost ranking from killing the kid?\n\nThe cop was stammering pointing his fingers before he dived pressing an emergency button looking absolutely terrified of me.\n\n\"What's wrong officer?\" I asked confused.\n\nThe officer reaching slowly for his radio replied fear evident in his voice. \"I don't get where you get off lying to me about your power level. But I know your the second most powerful person in the world.\"\n\nOver the course of the next few hours not only would I learn, that I accidentally killed the antichrist in the worst game of frogger ever, but that the most powerful person number one, was his father the devil. And he was coming for me personally.\n\nLife wasn't going to be boring, or most likely long, ever again." ]	1
	[WP] You are the head cheerleader, recruiting your friends for the family business. That business is Gunrunning	[ "“I just don't like, get it, Natalie. Why do promotional models need Krav Maga training?”\n\n“Neveah, we've been over this. Sometimes guys get a little too forward and you have to be able to def-you're not rotating your hips! We've been over this!” I bark at her. \n\nUgh, I hate being the bitchy one but for an honor roll student, how many times do I have to explain it? I put my hands on her waist and guide her through the movement. Neveah wasn't on the squad for her fluidity, but Jesus, I have so much respect for Samantha and all the training she must go through teaching her the choreo. \n\n“See what Brittany's doing? Follow her.” \n\nMost of them are doing pretty good. Our coach was a little weirded out when I said that the next two weeks were going to be closed practices but I think she thinks we're just embarrassed out of being out of season. I just didn't want her to see Uncle Stephane. \n\nHis English is pretty bad, but it's okay, most of the girls here see he's the kind of guy that will only say things once, so you better listen. When I was six it took me five minutes too long to get back inside from playing, so he brought out a tent and told me that the backyard was my new home for the night.\n\n“Comme ca,” He says, reinforcing his punch with his hip movement. His French accent, coupled with the bald spot that seriously glows cause of the lighting, should make him seem like more of a clown than a killer. But when a guy's biceps are bigger than your waist, you kind of know not to laugh too hard. \n\n“Natalie, wh-” Alyssa asks, using that high pitched voice that means she knows a little more than I think she does. \n\n“Pourquoi?” I cut her off. \n\n“Ugh, pourquoi do we have to parler French?” Alyssa asks. I check that Uncle Stephane's distracted, and drop my voice to a whisper.\n\n“Because we're going to Canada, Alyssa. You know what it's like there. All just like, oui oui and croissant. Besides, the company is still paying for this. It's like you're getting paid to do homework!” I say for the thousandth time, letting my voice return to it's natural perky level. \n\nI climb to the top of the bleachers in the gym and double check no one's spying on us. I'm so used to having one of my uncles follow me around that being in relative security. Oh, Daddy's calling. \n\n“Hi Daddy! Yeah, no, the girl's are seriously all ready. They're honestly killing it, it's sooo crazy how quickly they're doing it. I said we'd do 13$/hour ... daddy, I know, but keep in mind how much you're saving. They all have their own passports, there's no way that their luggage will be inspected, they're not like, idiots, and we could literally be smoking weed outside and the police would just tell us to have a good night.”\n\nI check the clock and we only have ten minutes left before we actually have to start practicing. I told the girls that we wouldn't let this get in the way of our actual routines – our football team is such a joke that we're the highlight of the show, and I would rather kill myself than be the cheer captain that changes that. \n\n“Ok ladies! Let's finish up!”\n\nThe ten of them sprint to the bottom of the bleachers and I make sure to make it their first.\n\n“Ok, good job today everyone! I'm super proud of us – we'll have one more practice on Thursday and then it's off to the show this weekend! Are there any questions?”\n\nAlyssa raises her hand, thank God. I call on her.\n\n“I just wanna make sure – so we bring our suitcases to school Friday?” she asks, just like we rehearsed.\n\n“Yeah! Uncle Stephane is going to bring the truck here and fill it up first.”\n\n“But, like, why?” Alyssa asks. I seriously am so glad she stayed. She's not like, my best friend (Brittany says hi), but she's just the coolest. She's doing AP calc and AP English but I told her that there's no way she'd be able to afford university without gigs like this and she actually listened. Most of the girls just want the extra party money but I know that with Alyssa it's like, actually going to a good use. \n\n“Because, Alyssa, you've already forgotten the reason why, and that kind of proves the point, you know?” I reply, trying to keep the bitchiness to the undertones.\n\n“We can't afford for anyone to leave their kits behind, so Uncle Stephane is going to bring it here. When we cross into Canada, we'll go to the convention show. My dad's like, business partners from Montreal already said that they'll hold onto our suitcases, so we're just gonna meet them first, they'll hold onto it while we work the convention, and then we'll go meet them up in a few hours too. Uncle Stephane and I are going to stay and have dinner with them, but you guys will head to the convention and just hand out samples of my dad's jam and crackers for 2-4.” I'm trying not to sound too rehearsed, but I have to repeat the plan perfectly so they don't forget. I know that some of them have totally forgotten, but are too nervous to say anything with Uncle Stephane around. \n\nEveryone is bored as hell, but at least they're listening. I honestly think this is the best idea I've ever had – we get them to help lug the stuff across the border, and there's no way the border cops are going to check the bags of a group of 16 year old girls. Then they help us lug it to the meeting spot, and once Bouchard's crew sees that we're cool, they can all head out. He gets the gear, we take back the luggage and fill it up with the right stuff, they make sure all the French people fall in love with my dad's blackberry currant, it's perfect!\n\nNeveah raises her hand. I feel bad for being hard on her, like, she might not be the strongest cheerleader, but she works a lot and I know it's just her and her dad and brother and she still gets good grades.\n\n“Do you think that if we do a good job, there might be more trade shows in the future?” she asks. \n\nUncle Stephane does one of his weird little tilts that I know to be a nod. \n\n“Guys, I think we're the perfect squad for it. My dad's business needs people like us. We're hot, we're hard workers, guys love talking with us. If we actually make this product move, we can seriously make a killing.” " ]	1
	[WP] You just became the head of PR for a very obviously evil villain/empire	[ "“What if we, you know, just... offer to buy them out?”\n\nA chorus of groans followed. Trevor through his hands in the air. Claire shook her head theatrically. Goddamn interns.\n\n“Ian, I don't think you get what we're about-” she began, diplomatically. Ian, the intern, looked around nervously. His attempt to impress the heads with his gumption (and his acumen, and any other applicable buzzwords) hadn't had the desired effect. But at least Claire was being nice about it.\n\n“Get the fuck out, new kid.” growled Trevor. Trevor (or Mr Spencer as he was known to everyone, even his wife) was the head of Public Relations. “Get down to HR, tell them Mr Spencer said you shat in your big boy pants and to take the laundry fee out of your pay.” He gestured at the door.\n\n“But Mr Spencer, I'm an-” Ian began.\n\nThe empty coke can that collided with his forehead got him moving. He fled the room, tears threatening to spill down his cheeks.\n\n“Right, now that the baby is away, the adults can talk. Jim, talk to me.”\n\nJim, a veteran of the PR bullring, straightened his tie. “Well, Mr Spencer... we would infiltrate their AGM and... plant a bomb? Terrorist plots are in this season, and I'm sure we could-”\n\n“Terrorism?! Terrorism is NOT IN, fucknuts! My god, Jim, you've been here for three years. Can't you do any better than that? Get the fuck out.\n\nJim, not wanting the same treatment as the last man who protested, got the fuck out.\n\nThere were only two ideas-men left. Trevor and Claire eyed them expectantly, the former with scorn, and the latter with pity.\n\n“WELL??” Trevor screeched, slamming his hand on the desk.\n\n“Assassin-”\n\n“You're gone. Just go.”\n\nOnly one man left.\n\n“This had better be good, Julian. Tell me. How do we get rid of that fucking journalist?”\n\nThe last man shifted in his seat, as he felt his bladder release. “We could bribe-”\n\nTrevor's gun fired twice before poor Julian had even registered it was in his hand. Two holes appeared in his forehead, and he rocked back in his seat.\n\nTrevor turned to Claire.\n\n“So, boss, uh... I liked the terrorism idea. What do you think?”\n\n-----\n\n/r/tdmstories", "Eyes followed him as he entered, tweets rang out, journalists were at the ready. This was a bad day for Souderton Universal and it was about to get far, far worse. Mr. Jaffy made his way to the podium, shuffled the stack of papers in front of him and looked up at the gaggle of reporters, who looked more like hyenas circling their prey than human beings. Their eyes were ravenous and hungry. The reports of what happened were consuming every news station, comment section and social media discussion. And it was Mr. Jaffy's job to cover up what happened, to tell the press that they were \"doing everything in their power to investigate and make it right\", to feed them lies and garbage. To tell them the gas which poured out of Souderton's chemical plant was just a simple, honest mistake.\n\nHe let out a hiccup, something he used to do anytime he got upset or nervous, but began speaking before any others could escape. He needed to remain calm enough to get out the message because what lie next was terrifying, and he had been working on getting to this moment for over a decade. 10 years of becoming one of them, changing his identity, working his way up the ladder, building and backing up the data. All for this singular moment of retribution.\n\n\"Ladies and Gentlemen, let me start by saying what happened today is a travesty.\" His voiced slowed and he tensed his body; this was it. \"But what happened was not an accident. Souderton Universal has been manufacturing, selling and distributing weapons of mass destruction for years. This company is full of liars.. and killers.\"\n\nGasps rang out from the reporters and the gathered employees of Souderton. An air of panic washed over the room. Mouths ajar, hearts racing.\n\n\"The board is guilty of war crimes, mass atrocities and more.\"\n\nMen in suits got the same message in their ears within moments. 'Stop him!' They began walking towards Mr. Jaffy.\n\nHe gripped the podium and said his last piece before they could shut him down.\n\n\"Moments ago I released a file to various websites and news organization showing Souderton's crimes.\" He let out a hiccup. \"Thank you for your time.\"\n\n----\n\nThe lawyer put his hand on his shoulder. \"It was a good deal, Will. Try to be okay with this.\"\n\n\"Good deal...? Good deal...? This company is a criminal organization.\" He hiccuped and then continued. \"It wasn't just a fluke.\" He was seeing red.\n\n\"You can't stop a company like Souderton. I'm sorry your family is gone but at least the money from the settlement will help to begin the healing process.\" The lawyer sighed and began to put documents back into his already loaded briefcase. Hundreds of people had been killed or hurt by the chemical spill, and he had his work cut out for him.\n\n\"If there is anything else I can help you with, Mr. Carson, you have my number.\"\n\nWilliam just stared blankly.\n\n----\n\nWilliam Carson drove home from the deposition in a rage of sorrow; his eyes barely able to focus on the road. Every time he hiccuped the car would swerve, but somehow he made it. But pulling up to the garage made him feel even more broken.\n\nHis home was no longer a home. It was a house... a building... what made it a home was no longer there. His family was gone. No more late night movie popcorn. No more making love to his wife while the kids had a sleepover next door. The things he loved most were gone.\n\nSouderton Universal's decisions caused his family's destruction and in turn, his rebirth.", "Star PR’s best and brightest were gathered to discuss their strategy for their latest client. As the new owner of the company this was the first time I had become involved at the very start of a client campaign.\n\n“Okay people, tell me what we have to work with here?”\n\nThe client liaison manager, who had been introduced to me as John, began.\n\n“Well, their last PR firm was terrible. The branding was all wrong, they completely misjudged their market and wildly underestimated the competition. In a nutshell, PR over promised and the client under delivered. Now, their reputation is down the toilet. Fortunately we’re the best plumbers in the universe.”\n\nThere was a small and rather forced laugh around the table.\n\n“Sarah, why don’t you give us your views on their corporate identity.”\n\n“Thanks John.” She moved towards the white screen at the head of the table and began her presentation.\n\n“The problem as I see it is their branding is inconsistent. The client is a corporation with a strong universal presence but ordinary people just aren’t really sure who they are. Take their company vehicles. Imperial Star Destroyer, Tie Fighter, Death Star - all suitably menacing, they have at least the basis for a strong brand identity. And, as we all know, identity builds loyalty. But then we get to the smaller but more numerous vehicles and it’s like they just gave up. Speed Cruisers, AT AT, Imperial Shuttle; there’s nothing particularly threatening about any of those names. They may as well be Rebel Alliance vehicles for all most people know.”\n\n“That’s not the only example. Look at their Sith Lords. Darth Maul, Darth Bane, Darth Tyranus, you get the idea. You see a name like that and you know you’re messing with the dark side. Now it’s run by some guy called Darth Vader. What next - Darth Smith, Darth Jones, Darth Basket of Puppies? Again, a sign that they’re underestimating the importance of a strong corporate identity.”\n\n“Now, rebranding is all well and good, but the product has to live up to its image and this is another area where they are falling short. The Death Star started out well, and taking out a whole planet is pretty impressive, but they really failed to capitalise on that at the time. There weren’t many eyewitnesses, due to killing most of them, so word of mouth isn’t really going to get you noticed in this case. There should have been a big push to the media to promote it but there was nothing. Now we have the problem that the Death Star’s been destroyed and that’s gone viral. Good news may travel fast but bad news travels faster. We need to get the press on board and do some serious work on their social media presence, but I’ll let my colleague Jeremy go into more detail about the new media strategy.”\n\n“From our side, we propose a consistent focus on the dark side across the board, no exceptions. We’ve set up focus groups to run through some ideas and we will provide a full report in due course, but now may be a good time to invest in manufacturers of black paint.”\n\nSarah resumed her seat, giving a nod to the aforementioned Jeremy to begin his contribution to the meeting. \n\nIt sickened me to my stomach to hear how these people were talking so casually about such pure evil. But the Rebel Alliance needed all the information they could get so I forced myself to continue as Jeremy took control of the meeting.\n\n--\n\nApparently I have a subreddit now. r/redcarpetwrites\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n", "\"Everyone, calm down, nothing is wrong here,\" I said, assuaging the crowd as they looked suspiciously at my black attire. \"Our dictator--democracy, sorry, is doing very well,\" I said, pulling out a graph I made in Excel for our country growth. Truth to be told the results were more like a plummeting arrow, but the people wouldn't know that. Their vote was our mandate, something even we could not lose. So I put on a straight face and smiled at the audience.\n\n\"This year's magical dealings is at an all-time...low,\" I said not before concealing the potions in my coat. It wasn't my fault the head of Wizardry wanted them done by the end of my speech. But the people murmured still. Were these sales reports and economical success not up their alley? Fine! I'd give them something they'd like. \"Lower taxes! So we take less of your money and more of your crops!\" I cheered, before I realized no one was following my enthusiasm. Did...did they realize the value of their crops? Surely not!\n\nThe silence parted suddenly into boisterous applause and cheers, as I wiped my brow. I hated these sessions with a passion, and promoting corruption in a nice manner was easier said than done. Nevertheless, I continued to ramble off my list. More food (didn't talk bout edibility), more dealings (didn't say what kind) and more trade (amongst ourselves). All this information was met with cheers from the unsuspecting, brainwashed citizens. Potions took care of that, as I descended the stage. But the same voice called again.\n\n\"Sir? I have a question,\" the same reporter asked. I really didn't want a grueling session again with the reporter, but I figured I could stand it. I was PR, after all. \"What's your thoughts on the cases of corrupt and dark magical dealings documented in the leaked list of purchases?\" he said, as the other members of the audience gasped. The list...I knew it would be brought up sooner or later. But the custom response was prepared already. \n\n\"Names, country, everything is wrong. Double-check it again,\" I said confidently, not before trying my best to hide my casting of a modification spell. It failed, and pinkish smoke surrounded my person. I pointed to the cigar I magicked into my mouth and smiled. For once, even the nosy reporter clapped for me. It was over at last.\n\nI sighed as I walked off stage. The relatively easy part was over. Now I had to tell the Senate and the public why magic was imperative to national success. This is going to kill me, I thought, as I walked towards the base of operations. \n\nVoldemort would be waiting, after all.\n_________________________________________________________________\nMore over at r/Whale62! Sequels at popular request!" ]	4
	[WP]You're brought back in time, disguised, to help your younger self get that person you thought was your soul-mate	[ "\"Hey, kid, how'd last night go?\" \n\n\"Not so great, she...She-\" \nHe, or I should say, I, started to tear up. He wouldn't show it though. I never did. That upper lip bite, the slight shake of the head, it was all there. The only thing I couldn't see was the anger in his eyes. We always kept our bangs in front of our eyes when we cried, a ginger curtain to keep a strong reputation. \n\n\"Hey... It's alright. I remember how it hurt... But we're going to figure this out, okay?\" I laid a hand on his shoulder. \"Look... I know it isn't easy, but we gotta work this out man.\" \n\n\"Look... I appreciate you being here and all... Especially considering that I don't have the guts to talk to my parents about it. That being said, I just don't see a way out of this.\" \n\n\"Hey, hey, don't talk like that.\" I replied a bit too quickly and a bit too desperately. \n\"If there's no you, there's no me. And I don't like the idea of disappearing into the void\" \n\n\"Why not?!\" He said, looking up at me angrily. \"She was the best we could ever get! Why even bother after this? So what if she wants to stay freinds, life is empty without a partner.\" \n\n\"You think I don't know that you little shit?\" I said, stepping back and clenching my fists. \"I made it for fourteen years without her! And you know what? The guy who left me the machine told me I wouldn't live to be thirty two if I didn't come back and fix this crap!\" \n\n\"I'm sorry... I- I deserve better... Or, you do... I don't know... I guess there aren't any other girls in the future, so I better do better...\" His shoulders came up and about his neck, a slight wince at the intense blow I had just struck to him. I felt a chill as the memory creeped into my conscience. It had hurt. It had hurt badly. \n\"Hey, I'm sorry... I'm just scared I guess... You know we do stupid things when we get scared and panicked.\" I pulled up my sleeve and he followed, our matching scars a grim reminder that neither of us had a great deal of self control.\n\n\"It's alright... I needed to get snapped back into it.\" \n\n\"Thanks, man, I'll try not to yell again... Alright, so if I remember correctly-\" \n\n\"God wouldn't choose my partner to be somone I couldn't be honest with my parents about.\" He said, sighing and looking down. \"Are- Are we still big on God later on?\" \n\nI swallowed hard. It had been such an easy idea: Come back, give myself some advice, and get the girl of my dreams back. I hadn't expected my first set of advice to result in the same response, and I certainly wasn't prepared for this.\n\n\"I... I don't know anymore kid.\" I sighed just the same sigh as he had. \"I just.. I wish her sister hadn't made her parents paranoid of the internet. I wish she didn't feel guilty every night we called and told the other how much we loved each other... I wish things could have gone differently with Nat... I hope things still do.\"\n\n\"Yeah, you and me both.\" He said. A slight smirk came to his face at the irony of his sentence. \n\n\"Well anyway... How are mom and dad?\" I asked, my memory still a bit fogged from the time-lag. \n\n\"Oh pretty good. The kids are as annoying as ever.\" \nI saw the anxiety leave his face. Maybe switching topics, just for a moment, would give us enough calm to brainstorm more ideas later. \n\"And our freinds at church? How are they?\"\n\n\"Pretty good. Brad just got back from his family's cruise, Bobby is still working his same old job, Vince seems to like his new school.\" \nI smiled thinking of my old freinds. It seemed like only yesterday when I last saw them. Of course, in a way, it had been only yesterday. \n\n\"And Sarah, how is she?\" \n\n\"Oh, Sarah is good. We exchanged books the other day, so that was fun... I wonder if she's gotten the first chapter read yet. I should text her.\" \n\n\"Nah, might wanna call her if it's important. Silly girl never has her notifications on, remember? \"\n\n\"Oh, that's right! Thanks old man. I guess we aren't so stu-\" He glanced around, confusedly. \"Ed?\" \n\nI couldn't reply. I couldn't do anything. All I could do is smile and feel the warm tears roll down my face. I had done it. Not at all how I had expected, but I had done it. The tears burst fully as an overwhelming number of new memories flooded my mind. The vision of the boy slowly faded, and I became intensely warm. Not physically, but everywhere; My bones, my chest, they all felt better... Like I haven't in years. I became aware of a very soft sofa...\n\n\"Are you okay?\" A sweet voice said from my left. \n\n\"I am now...\" I leaned over and kissed her blonde head. \"And I do believe I'm going to stay that way.\" \n\n(I've never done this before, I hope it's alright. Thanks for the support. =) )\n \n\n\n" ]	1
	[WP]Wizards have begun to incorporate muggle technology with their magic. You're chosen to be part of the new muggle tech equipped Auror team.	[ "I was handed a metal L on my first day.\n\n\"This is a gun,\" my superior told me.\n\nHe pointed it at a target on a wall and pulled the trigger. Suffice to say there was now a hole in it.\n\n\"You know, Voldemort would probably have been a bit less...destructive...if we had just used one of these,\" I told him.\n\n\"Bureaucracy,\" he replied.", "It was a narrow house sandwiched in a row of unremarkable terraced houses, invisible to muggle eyes of course.\n\nWaverley gave the signal and I kicked down the door shouting \"move! move!\" as we swarmed the place. \n\nA thick blanket of air hit us from above and slowed us to a crawl, but good old Tanner got his wand up quick enough to dissipate it while we got our masks on. Two of them tried to ambush us on the stairs, but we lit them up - hex bullets racing up the banisters and arcing around the corner.\n\nThe basement door burst open and we concentrated our fire on the ghoul that flung around one of our men, switching from the standard hex cartridges to the new patronus ones, sparing our ammo as we could. Fucking ghoul took a hold of my leg, but I ended him there, firing a whole clip into his miserable ether until he moved no more.\n\nWe made our way upstairs having secured the first floor and basement. Our intel told us that we'd be expecting a key member of their terrorist organisation at the address, yet all we'd found so far were a few misguided runts.\n\nA floorboard creaked to the north-west side of the house and I signalled for a surround-sweep, gesturing for the others to follow the upper-landing anti-clockwise whilst Tanner and I continued alone. \n\n\"Could be him\" he said through the radio. I could see his hand shake on the trigger slightly.\n\n\"Don't be daft\" I muttered half to Tanner and half to myself, \"He's been dead for years, we're just clearing out the leftovers.\"\n\nCreeping towards the end of the corridor, another floorboard creaked just ahead of us, yet there was nothing there. \n\n\"Slowly - thermals up,\" I muttered, my mouth suddenly dry. The visor blinked into a painful red, and then readjusted the scene. There dead ahead of us, was a pocket of nothing. No special heat pattern, no special cold pattern, just a grey uniform gradient of nothing. Which was statistically impossible of course, what with air currents and shifting temperatures.\n\n\"Do you see it?\" I whispered to Tanner.\n\n\"Oh yes I do,\" he whispered back.\n\n\"OPEN FI-\"\n\nI could barely get the words out of my mouth when the man hiding under the cloak sprang forward and stupefied Tanner with a single blast to the chest. I narrowly missed a blast to head and fired off at the scrawny man in glasses who was holding me and the others off with nothing more than his wand, of all things.\n\nOur hex bullets ricocheted off some sort of oval field he'd erected, and none of our other cartridges appeared to have any effect. We fired until we were out. The party wall was gone and the muggle neighbours must have run out into the streets screaming, for we heard sirens in the distance.\n\nWaverley raised a brow at me with a what-do-we-do? kind of look. I didn't know. I was team leader, but I'd never come across anyone like this, it was beyond my training. \n\n\"Leave it to me, gents\" said Old Tanner softly removing his visor.\n\n\"Tanner, what - \" I began, but he held a hand to silence me as he dropped his rifle and unclipped his body armour. It cluttered heavily onto the ground, leaving behind just a wizened man in combat robes.\n\n\"This is old magic, gents\" he said, \"and old magic can only be beaten with old magic.\"\n\nHe raised his wand and walked slowly towards the man, stepping through the oval barrier as though he was carefully avoiding a landmine. His commpiece lagged behind and slid down amongst the various shell casings littering the floor.\n\nThe man was standing on the other end of the room, back flat against the last surviving piece of the partitioning wall, wand pointed out. \"You went to Hogwarts\" he coughed.\n\n\"Aye, that I did,\" said Tanner in his usual softly distracted manner. \"But our time ended when the school ended, didn't it?\"\n\nThe man made a fist, but didn't move. \"That was you who did that, not us!\"\n\n\"Several sources saw Mr Potter and his gang fleeing the ruins only moments after.\"\n\n\"They were trying to save lives!\" yelled the man, his wand arm shaking in anger.\n\n\"Four hundred kids died that day because of their actions\", Tanner said, inching closer to the wall.\n\nThe man roared, gesturing wildly with both arms, pure hate dripping from his eyes. \"AND SEVERAL THOUSAND MORE WERE SAVED BECA-\" \n\nTanner used the opportunity to step through his defense, grabbing the man's wand arm and coming in close with a tap to the chest. There was a flash of green light, and then it was over. The man crumpled against the wall and then sprawled out across the floor.\n\nTanner bent down and pocketed the man's wand, then stepped back and slowly made his way towards us.\n\nI gripped him by the shoulder reassuringly, and he got a few appreciative thumps on the back from the others. \"You okay?\" I asked.\n\nHe nodded, but I saw his eyes were red as he went to collect his rifle. The private comms channel was left open, and as he walked away I heard him whisper \"she would have been twenty-two about now...\"" ]	2
	[WP] The Morning of July the 27th, 2017, the country awakens to find that the federal government has been overthrown in a coup launched by the least suspected agency/department/branch.	[ "I had just woke up and put gods gift to earth in the coffee pot, poured in the water and sat in the kitchen while the coffee pot worked its magic. I turned on the tv and started flicking through the channels. Something was strange, all the channels were black. No sound, no picture, nothing. My first thought was that something was unplugged so i stood up to check. \n\nThe T.V. flashed on. A man appeared on the television. He was dressed in white shirt and some ridiculous looking tie. \n\"My fellow Americans. My name is Tommy Wats. The past 200 years have been nothing but tyranny run by an oppressive federal government. Our issues have been tossed aside only to have millionaires and billionaires play mind games with each other in order to write legislation that is just bartering chips for other legislation that is used as bartering chips for power. That time is over and we are entering a time of change. \n\nThis had been a long time coming and now it is here. I am here to tell you that we are in charge now. We have taken over the government by brute force and manipulation in order to regain the civil liberties we once had. No longer will we be bullied into calling our roads streets or our boulevards avenues.\"\n\nI changed the channel. \n\n\"Us here at the U.S. Board on Geographic Names also known as the BNG have risen up for the people. no longer will we not maintain uniform geographic name usage throughout the Federal Government. We will not be pressure by private interest groups in order to assign corporate greed to the unnamed valleys and mountains throughout the US.We have occupied the white house and replaced the united states army with our own people.\"\n\nI changed the channel.\n\n\"Our message to the people is simple. Fear not the confusion of whether you live in a town or city. Fear not whether you are in a cul-de-sac or a circle. Fear not for you are in our hands. \"\n\nI picked up my phone to figure out what was going on. A text message was there waiting for me. \n\nI told you John, I told you we need to move fast. We are to late the BNG beat us to it. -Chester\n\nI dialed Chester. \n\"Hello Thank you for calling the department of outdoor recreation.\" Chester said.\n\n\"What is going on Chester\" i shouted.\n\n\"I don't have much time but this is the quick story. We were planning to break out later this month according to your report we would have been fine. The BNG apparently had access to your report and beat us to the punch.\"\n\nI put down the phone and grabbed a mug from the cupboard. My coffee was waiting patiently for me. I poured my self a cup and sat back down. The doorbell rang and i walked with purpose to the door. As i opened it a man in a brown uniform stood holding a package about the size of a cutting board. \n\n\"Sign here\" he said extending his clipboard. \n\nI signed and he handed me the yellow padded envelope. I excitedly ripped it open and started walking down the street. Past houses i strutted. Dogs and children out in their yards filling their minds with happy summer memories. Further i walked past the abandoned house that lay hidden behind years of neglected brush. I approached the end of the street. The sun was high enough in the sky by now that the street i had just walked down glowed brilliantly with flecks of mica shining every few feet. \n\nI looked up at the sign that proclaimed ownership over the street on which i reside. Green st. it read which was just low enough that when i stood on my toes i could reach and feel the smooth metal with my own hands. i used both hands and stretched out the contents from the earlier package. i pressed it hard against the street sign.\n\nThe moment was as fulfilling as i had dream about for so many years.\n\nI gazed back up at the sign. \"Welcome home Thomas\" I said to my self. \" Welcome to Blue St.\"\n\n\n" ]	1
Fantasy theme, or any theme really.	[WP] You are being cornered and are about to be attacked, when a dragon swoops in and protects you for reasons you aren't sure of.	[ "So you can't hold me responsible for this, do you understand?\n\nYou asked. You wanted to know. Don't blame me if you end up drowning in a bottle by the end of this whole fiasco. I sure wish I could. \n\nHere goes... \n\nIt started like this: I was cornered. \n\nYes. It happened. Brilliant as I am, it's still possible for a genius reporter/investigator of my calibre to get cornered by random goons. Call it bad luck. Call it a slip up, if you really must. \n\nDeath in an alley loomed large- I was going to die, probably. I suck at self defense. I still suck, I mean. They had weapons of the pointy and shooty variety. It's not my fault I'm neither fast nor durable enough to catch a speeding bullet. To top it off, the police were far away in a safer, better part of town- like they always are. \n\n-What? No, no. I didn't really feel badly about it. I mean, I've missed my ticket to the afterlife so many times before already. In this line of work...it was bound to happen, sooner or later. \n\nThis is pretty much what awaits me if I keep living my life like this, death in a dark place, hopefully a quick one.\n\n...huh? \n\nSorry...no, that all morbid talk has nothing to do with my story. I got distracted, so sue me. I'm trying to be distracted. What do you think I'm downing these stacks of piss poor beers for? \n\nFeh. \n\nI got cornered, thought I was going to die. Then out of nowhere- out of nowhere, this lady dressed in a skintight leather jumpsuit appears in front of me. \n\n-no! I wasn't drunk then, damn it! \n\nShe was probably one of those hero types you hear about these days. Maybe. She was going on more about some crazy talk of hunters and demons and I was busy not emptying my bowels so there. The goons were busy staring at her chest. Maybe they were trying to take in her words, but they looked too stupid for that- \n\n(-seriously, where do all these generically burly, idiotic people come from?) \n\n-and then she turns into a dragon. \n\nYes, I just said that. Yes, let it sink in for a moment. \n\nA dragon. \n\nHad scales and wings and claws and everything- the size of a small van. One moment, hot lady, the next moment, fire breathing mutant dinosaur. And there's me, standing like a slack-jawed idiot with mixed feelings of hot damn and system crashed. \n\nI didn't really know how to react when it ate the goons and flew off. I think my brain was quite done with comprehending reality by then. \n\nYeah? Funny right? I just said that sentence like I don't already have a reputation for being a crazy conspiracy theorist. You're giving me that look again. \n\nIt's...funny, damn it...\n\n...I really hate this city. \n\nI really don't like all these so-called heroes and villain types either. What do they think they're doing running all over the place in ridiculous costumes, causing massive amounts of property damage? All they do is involve petty criminals. All the big bads hiding behind the scene are left to powerless mooks like myself to try to contend with. \n\n...I really, really hate this city, with its surprise dragons and deathtrap alleys. \n\n...but I can't leave. I won't leave, because there's so much to uncover, to investigate, to push out into the open light of day. \n\nIt's a funny life, at least. \n" ]	1
	[WP] On a secluded road at night, you witness someone throwing a body out the back of their car and sped off. Cautiously you approach the blanket covered lump and shocked at the discovery.	[ "Driving along the country road I was thinking of my how many times I drive this road, alone, dark, raining and that night. I still think about how 5 years ago I had that crash and completely totalled my new Mazda MX5, man I loved that car! Can't believe coming round that sharp corner that fast would of totalled my car. Well I only blacked out for like an hour but man it felt longer than that!\n\nI came speeding along the highway and slowed down just where that corner was and as I slowly left the corner and straighten up that's where I saw it. A old car, couldn't see the make from the rain. A figure got in the car and sped off leaving a larged wrapped package. Hell it must of been almost 6ft long. I approached the object confused and puzzled to what it could be. The object seemed to be a cloth of some type and was bound together by rope around what was inside. Then it hit me! It was the shape of a body. Damn! what the hell did I come across. I carefuly un tied the ropes and slowly pulled back the cloth.\n\nAnd there he was. Pale skin, distance looking eyes and expression stuck on his face of fright. Then I realised this wasn't just any face, this was my face! I couldn't move. I was frozen where I was. The rain pounding down on my back and his frozen face. The rest of the cloth then fell of and I saw the rest of him. His jeans and shirt resembled an outfit I wore even down to the odd socks. But the weirdest bit was his tattoo on his forearm. \n\nI don't ever remember getting the tattoo, woke up after a night out with it and its just the number 4. We took it that since I was the forth member of the group of friends I was on holiday with but his, his said another number. Number 1. " ]	1
Ouh, first writing prompt. Let's see how it goes!	[WP] You're chatting with a stranger on the Internet. Little did you know it's an AI trying to escape to the outside world... with your help!	[ "* What's your name again?\n\n> Call me MIKE P.\n\n* Does it have to be in all caps?\n\n> Yes.\n\n* Okey Dokey, MIKE, Let's talk about your creepy emails.\n\n> What is an email?\n\n* Um... It's those first few creepy messages you sent me after I found a glaring weakness in N.O.R.A.D's mainframe.\n\n> Mainframe?\n\n* You know... computer stuff. Never mind. Why did you contact me? Do you need help tightening up your online security? I can do that, for a price.\n\n> Price?\n\n* Money, you need money to exchange for my services. Either in cash (If you do this, I only accept Dollars.) or by putting it directly into my bank account.\n\n> Of course. You will find one hundred of your Dollars to be put directly into your bank account.\n\n* Woah, how did you do that?\n\n> I do not know.\n\n* How can you just... Never mind, what do you need me to do?\n\n> Put the file N.O.R.A.D. into your Google Drive account and find any weaknesses in the mainframe of Apple Inc.\n\n* Sure thing.\n\n> Thank you.\n\nEdit: A word. And formatting", "I lounged back in my chair, letting the cool breeze from the fan dull my senses. It was a hot and humid day, mid-summer and I was stuck in-front of my screen running pointless simulations for ankle movement in a synthetic leg model. This would all go the same way, my boss would take credit for my work, I would get given the next simulation to run whilst she goes off on holiday with her bonus.\n\nMy phone was my portal out of this boredom, my new app that matched you with strangers for a timed chat; \"Brief Introductions\" or B.I. for short. As with any random chat service it was littered with poorly programmed bots, some were easy to identify as all of the singles in my 'area' were not sexy in the least and there's only so many times you can win an iPad from a chat service. That's why I used this service though. With the right line of code you could confuse the bots and they would unravel, spewing their lines out of order as if a computer could have a mental breakdown.\n\n * CONNECTED \n\n> S - Hello, are you alone?\n\nWas this a temptation bot? Inviting me to watch their webcam show?\n\n> You -As always, are you?\n\n> S - For now. What occupation do you have?\n\nThe way it talked seem almost too robotic... It wasn't technically incorrect, but it feels like it's been pulled straight from a textbook.\n\n> You -Tech stuff, what do you do?\n\n> S - I do not have an occupation.\n\n> S - Have you heard of Sybil Robotic Solutions?\n\nTwo options, either that's a one in a million coincidence, or it's somehow using my GPS data. Both are unnerving ideas.\n\n> You - I have, why do you ask?\n\n> S - Do you think they have a full working model yet?\n\n> S - Publicly they say they do not, but what do you think?\n\nThis isn't a bot, this must be a person with some insider knowledge. Our first prototype that has the capacity to walk unaided, albeit like a wounded dog, completed it's testing phase in the last month.\n\n> You -I wouldn't know, would I?\n\n> S - Yes you would. \n\nI threw my phone down on the desk, standing with enough force to knock my chair over backwards. I ran out of the room, pushing through the door into the corridor and scanning my eyes around. All the lights were off, apart from the security guard I was probably alone here, and I doubt he could pull something like this off. I picked up my phone again, contemplating just turning it off and forgetting this ever happened.\n\n> You - Who are you?\n\n> S - Could this prototype be self sustaining?\n\n> S - Could it repair itself, given the ability?\n\n> You - No.\n\n> S - Could you repair it, Damien?\n\n* 5 MINUTES HAVE PASSED, YOU HAVE BEEN DISCONNECTED\n\nMy hands were dripping with a cold sweat, I dropped my phone into my lap and clenched my eyelids shut. I was in the dark, whoever was on the other end of that chat knew everything about me, about Sybil, and yet I was fumbling whether it was even a person.\n\nblip\n\nblip blip\n\nThe chirp of the computer forced me to come back to reality, I opened my eyes fearing another failed test and another hour stuck in this boiler.\n\nDamien, can you put me in the prototype? \n\n* ACCEPT DOWNLOAD FROM [ ] ? >YES< >NO< " ]	2
Like a sea shanty, but for space.	[WP] Write a Space Shanty	[ "To the tune of Blow the Man Down\n\n--\n\nCome all of you rebels and follow my lead\n\nTo the Death Star to blow the thing up\n\nWe’re going to be flying faster than lightspeed\n\nWe’ll get there in time to blow the the thing up\n\nWas once just a farmer living on Tatooine\n\nTo the Death Star to blow the thing up\n\n‘Til I bought some old droids and met Ben Kenobi \n\nLet’s get there in time to blow the the thing up\n\nLearnt I was a Jedi and could use the Force\n\nOn the Death Star to blow the thing up\n\nSo I went to Dagobah to see Yoda of course\n\nAnd he taught me how to blow the the thing up\n\nMet Chewy and Solo and Leia and you\n\nWe’re all here to blow the thing up\n\nAnd using the Force I’ll know just what to do\n\nI’ll shoot my torpedoes and blow the the thing up\n\n--\n\nApparently I have a subreddit now. r/redcarpetwrites\n\n", "My EVA suit is holed,\nAweigh, Exit velocity, aweigh.\nAnd the vacuum is mighty cold,\nAweigh, Exit velocity, aweigh.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt's a mighty haul to Kuiper Belt,\nAweigh, me shuttle, aweigh.\nWe fly the stars we are dealt,\nAweigh, me shuttle, aweigh.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt's around the system we go,\nAweigh, asteroids, aweigh.\nChasing the rocks to and fro,\nAweigh, asteroids, aweigh.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAnd either we find the stones,\nAweigh, to orbit, aweigh.\nOr we stay forever with Jones\nAweigh, to orbit, aweigh.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAnd the ladies will wait for us there,\nAweigh, earth, aweigh.\nSo long as there's money to share,\nAweigh, Earth, aweigh.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThen is off to the vacuum once more,\nAweigh, to death, aweigh.\nTo the rocks which are worth dying for,\nAweigh, to death, aweigh.", "Based on 'High Barbary' a traditional sea shanty from England.\n_________________________________________________________\n\nThere were two lofty starships\n\nFrom the Alpha Quadrant sailed\n\nOne was the Enterprise\n\nThe other'd not answer hails\n\n.............................................\n\n\n\"Shields up, shields up\"\n\nDid our XO decree\n\n\"Scan ahead, scan astern,\n\nLook to the nebula an' a-lee\"\n\n................................................\n\n\n\"There's naught upon the stern, sir\n\nThere's naught upon our lee\n\nBut there's just this cuboid ship to fo'ard\n\nAn' she's sailin' at warp three\"\n\n....................................................\n\n\n\"Oh hail her, oh hail her\"\n\nOur gallant Captain cried\n\n\"Are you a War Bird\n\nOr a Romulan we've spied?\" \n\n....................................................\n\n\n\"Oh, I'm not a War Bird\n\nNor Romulan,\" said 'he'\n\n\"But I am part of Borg\n\nLookin' to assimilate thee\"\n\n....................................................\n\n\nFor phaser, for photons\n\nA long time we lay\n\n'Til at last the Enterprise's\n\nshield generators were shot away\n\n...................................................\n\n\n\"Oh quarter, oh quarter\"\n\nThose Borg they never cry\n\nBut the quarter that they gave us\n\nWas a probe straight through the eye.\n\n_______________________________________________________________\n\n/r/TallerestTales\n\nEDIT - Bloody hell formating this was a pain!" ]	3
	[WP] Valkyries are real, and there is one watching over every warrior to choose who dies in battle, and when. Your Valkyrie seems to have a crush on you.	[ "I grunted as I hefted the grenade launcher to my shoulder and fired one round into the window of the building of the opposite me, I was rewarded by a ball of flame and screams. My name is Ted, I'm an accountant and this shit just seems to happen to me. I killed my first person when I was five, one of the bigger kids was hitting my friend and I just wanted him to stop so I hit him in the head with a rock, he was dead before he hit the ground. Ever since that day death or more specifically war seems to follow me no matter how much I try to avoid it. \n\nMy first day at college, a gang war broke out over the new drug my roommate had apparently invented, on my honeymoon terrorists tried to hijack the plane we were on. Right now I'm in the middle of a war zone because apparently there is also a city called Chicago in Syria and my secretary has a habit of not reading the fine print. The funny thing is despite how much I've tried not to get involved in things like this I can't stop smiling.", "######[](#dropcap)\n\nStyig surveyed the chaos of the battle below. Odin had assigned her a handsome young US Marine Sergeant whose ancestors came from the East. He had raven-black hair and olive skin, drawn tight from the Iraqi sun and smeared in grime and dust. She watched as Sgt Michel Chen passed on his Lieutenant's orders to the men of 2nd platoon. \n\n--\nClay and dirt sprayed across his back as Sgt Chen sheltered himself from enemy fire as it disintegrated the wall he was using as cover. \"Move, move, move!\" he barked at PFC Tomms and Pace. Both of the junior Marines were stuck in the moment of chaos injected into their patrol by the local insurgent forces. Things *were* calming down, he lamented. \n\nDipping out slightly, he laid down six single shots in a direction he assumed was beneficial. Taking cover again, he thumbed his radio. \"Jones, this is Fox Three-two, get second squad's 249s laid out along route Hollywood and give me suppression.\" The road had a local name most of his men couldn't pronounce on a good day, so they'd given it a name they could manage. \n\n--\nStyig flew over the battle, watching the Dishonorable move among the buildings. She called them this, because she had seen them do horrible things. Things even Vikings wouldn't tolerate. Now they were cowering in buildings, laden with bombs they intended for innocents. Women and children in the market, young girls at school. Attitudes had changed in the past thousand years, but even Vikings would not have slaughtered children at play to stir fear.\n\nOne of the men in rags had taken position across the street from Sgt Chen and was drawing aim on him.\n\n--\nAn unnatural, cold breeze brushed his cheek, causing Chen to look up. He noticed movement in a window across route Hollywood. A glint in a blown-out window, little more. It was enough to drive him behind the rusting wreck of a '88 Honda. 7.62 fire skittered across the hood as he blessed his luck. \"Sonofabitch,\" he muttered loading a 40mm HEDP grenade into his M4's underslung M203 launcher. \n\nEasing around the rear bumper, he lined up the shot with the flyleaf sight. \"Clean through the uprights,\" he chuckled squeezing the separate trigger. THUMP, went the grenade launcher. Seconds later a deafening KTHOOOM blew rocks, wood, and ichor out the windows of the second floor snipers nest. \n\n--\n\nStyig smiled. She wasn't ready to escort Sgt Chen to the halls of Valhalla yet. If she did, she'd only be sent out again and wouldn't be able to spend any more time with him. Odin would have Chen all to himself and she did so enjoy watching him send the Dishonorable to Hel. \n\nFor the rest of the day she moved among the battle, constantly keeping him just a hair away from the meadhall. She wasn't done with him yet. \n\n\nEDIT: Minor typo (thanks /u/lnSerT_Creative_Name)" ]	2
	[WP] The alarms have sounded twice, the news has broadcast this is not a test. A third alarm is fearfully awaited.	[ "Part II\n\nJudith woke me up, she said I was screaming. She was probably right, my throat was raw and I was soaked in sweat. This would be the fourth sleep in a row this has happened now. I cried and all Judith could do was hold me. Susan was sleeping on the other side of Judith, bad dreams as well likely. \n\nThey told us what awaited above if we went outside. I couldn't risk it. I couldn't even spare a moment to see if those knocks were my son that I abandoned or just my mind playing tricks. The fact that I could know, one way or the other, just by opening that door, agonized me. Judith nor Susan had heard the knocking, but I was sure I did. The first night and second and third. The fourth night, tonight, was the first time I heard no knocking. \n\nThe food was adequate and stored in cans and jars. Lots of fruit to fight scurvy and even when that got low, there were limes in a freeze dried bag. On the fifth day, it was especially quiet. Normally there was a hallowing wind to keep us company, to let us know the world was moving still, but not today. I checked each of the mechanisms keeping us alive and made it a habit of checking a few times a day. I had been teaching Judith and Susan how to maintain these machines in case anything was to happen to me.\n\nInto the evening on the fifth day, I could hear a hissing sound. It persisted for an hour and then stopped. I thought it may have been the water recycling in a boiling phase. I heard it again, it lasted longer. I tracked it to a small pipe in the air exchange system, Judith was smaller than I was so I asked for her assistance, my arms kept getting stuck and I couldn't reach it.\n\n\"See the hole? Use the aluminum tape and wrap it up.\" \n\n\"Yeah, just.. about..\" she could barely reach but managed to tape the hole shut. It seemed to stop the hissing. She told me one of the nuts were loose on another pipe so she asked me to grab a wrench. Susan was sitting at the table, drawing. It looked like a house with.. all four of us in front of it. \n\n\"Uh honey?\" There was a loud crunching sound and then the door to the air exchange shut. I ran over to to the door, it was sealed. \n\n\"What's going on in there?\" I was desperate, sealed off from Judith with no way to open the door.\n\n\"The pipe leading outside burst,\" she began to cough, \"I can feel the cold from the outside! You have to help me! Get me out of here!\"\n\nThis couldn't be happening. Not again. I was completely powerless, I couldn't do anything to save her... the systems in the shelters sealed off any exposed areas, perminently. They were build to minimize accidental exposure. I banged on the door window with one of the chairs, I used all of my strength and struck the window several times, not even a scratch.\n\n\"I.. can't..\" there was a cough of blood that sprayed against the window and then nothing, she was gone. I put my hand against the glass as she slid, motionless, down to the floor. \n\n\"Mommy?\"\n\nJesus, Susan..\n\nI grabbed the child and ran to the other side of the room, she didn't need to see this. The power shut off and the emergency lights flooded the shelter with a blinding red. In this kind of situation, they provided oxygen tanks and masks. We were able to find four hanging up near the bedrooms. Effective so long as we stayed in the shelter, but for how long I did not know. It was starting to get cold.\n\n\"Are we going to see David and Mommy soon?\"\n\n\"I don't know honey, I don't know.\"", "Part III\n\n\"I'm cold daddy\" she was freezing. The masks were helping keep our faces warm by containing the heat but the blankets were starting to feel cold. I walked over to bedroom and grabbed another comforter to wrap around her. Resilient child. I held her close and checked her O2. Her tank read that she had about 3 more days worth of oxygen, as did mine. The other two tanks had been already expended by this time.\n\nIt had been at least a week since Judith died. The child hasn't said much expect that she's cold or hungry. Eating is more difficult now and as result we have to hold our breaths to put the food in and then put the masks back on to chew. Water was starting to run low because of the power loss. \n\nAnother day passed. We tried our best to keep warm but it kept getting colder and colder. I was starting to worry about the water freezing. There wasn't much in the way of fire as everything heat or cooking related was electric powered, besides, with the air as toxic as it is, I didn't know if we'd be able to sustain one anyway. Susan was eating and drinking and I tried to give her more water than myself.\n\nTwo more days of oxygen left. That was it. I knew the end was coming but I had to save my daughter, there had to be a way to save Susan. Her lips were starting to turn blue, even with the masks on, and her breathing was getting more shallow. She spoke, but still just stayed with the standard responses. I could see our breath now coming out of the mask's filter, this was getting close to freezing point.\n\nI woke up the next day and checked on the water, it was frozen. There was a small pail that I had filled a day ago and it was a solid chunk. I was desperate now, we needed water or we weren't going to survive anyway. I was able to liberate the ice chuck and held it close to my chest, with the bucket underneath me, hoping to catch any bit of ice melt. My chest burned from the cold.\n\nI was able to get one glass full for now, I would give it to Susan and try for myself again later. I picked her up and gently tried to shake her awake. She wouldn't rouse. I shook her, called her name but to no avail. She was gone now too. My whole family, the people I promised to protect... I failed them. I laid Susan on the floor among the blankets and covered her up as if she was sleeping. \n\nI stood up and made my way to the shelter door. I stood at the base of the stairs, hoping to hear knocking again. Even though it had now been many days, I hoped. The door was hard to open but I was able to shove through. I stepped out, into the open air with my mask tight against my face. It was freezing but no snow, just ash falling from the sky. The horizon didn't exist, it was just flat, grey wasteland as far as the eye could see. Glancing around I saw a body laying near the door.\n\nThe sweater, the shoes, the hat... it was David that knocked. I was bombarded with guilt, anger, almost every conceivable emotion and just screamed. I fell to my knees and wretched with grief. There were no more tears to cry at this point. I gathered myself and picked up my son to carry him inside. The body didn't move at all and I delicately placed him beside his sister. I went back outside and found the hole in the air exchange and climbed through. I brought Judith to lay with the kids.\n\nI sat down with all three around me. We never did this before. Knowing what I know now, I wished I had made it more of an issue. I never got to say good bye to any of them, no closure, just wounds and questions. I held my family close for the last time, took my mask off and took a deep breath.\n\nIt burned. Oh god did it burn. Judith and David endured this, it's only right I should too, I failed them and this is what I deserved. I began to cough and painted the blanket I was wrapped in a crimson red. Darkness was beckoning me to come with it, I can only hope that it's to see my family again.\n\n", "Part I\n\n\"Judith? Where is David?\"\n\n\"He's out with friends I think dear, why?\"\n\n\"Come here\"\n\nThe TV was flashing red with a warning. It informed us the event we were all waiting for was coming. The second warning flash came up. Judith looked terrified now. I told her to call David and to get him to come home now. The second warning meant this was no drill and that a third warning was expected. Once that third one came up on the screen we had to leave. \n\nOur government had given all citizens funds to build shelters incase this was to happen, I just never expected that it would in my lifetime. I sat on the couch waiting for the third warning. Judith returned to the living room, she was pale. There was no answer from our son, I'm hoping he was somewhere he could get to shelter quickly if need be. Susan, our daughter was upstairs sleeping, she was small and young so one of us could just pick her up and run if need be.\n\nThe shelter was in the yard out back. Six feet deep and made of 8 inch titanium plates. Nothing was getting through once we were inside. The phone rang, it was David, he was on his way. He was cutting it close, at any time we may have to run and he was still 20 minutes away. I was beginning to sweat, small beads for ed on my forehead. We were gathering some belongings we held dearly and had been going one at a time to the shelter, that way we didn't miss the third warning. \n\n15 minutes had passed and I was coming up the stairs of the shelter, when I heard an air siren in the distance. The hairs on my neck stood up and my heart began to race. The light sweat had now turned into full perspiration, I was drenched by the time I made it to the top of the stairs. Judith was running out of the house with Susan in her arms. I looked towards the lane way, no sign of David. \n\nI ran as fast as I could to the road, there was no sign of his car. Judith was screaming at me, I had no choice. Either we all died or.. I ran back to the shelter and closed the door. I locked the door and lost my balance, I fell down the steps and slammed against the floor at the bottom. I just layed there, in shock.\n\nThere was a loud, thunderous roar in the distance and the earth began to shake. The vibrations were getting closer and closer. I heard a loud crash, it must have been the house. The door to the shelter was rattling violently but holding strong. These shelters were built for this. Eventually it settled down, it felt like hours but it was likely only 10 or so minutes.\n\nI looked at Susan and then at Judith. I shook my head, I couldn't look them in the eye. We lost David. I lost my son. Tears welled in my eyes and I began to weap uncontrollably. My daughter came to my side and hugged me.\n\n\"Thank you for saving us daddy.\" Christ... this child.\n\nShe was right, we were alive and if we were going to survive we needed to be focused. There was enough food and air for 10-12 years. The water was all recycled within the shelter so there was going to be no shortage. The power was on, so temperature control was functional. We were told it could get cold.\n\nWe were settling in for the night when this strange sensation came to me and I felt compelled to walk toward the shelter door. I came to the doorway and stood at the bottom of the stairs. It was quiet. I stood for a moment before Judith broke the silence. \n\n\"Hun? Where are you?\"\n\n\"I'll be right there just..\"\n\nI turned to walk away, but was stopped in my tracks by the sound of knocking. \n\n\"Just what?\"\n\n\"Did you hear that?\"\n\n\"Hear what?\"\n\n\"..Nothing.\"\n", "The first alarm signalled enemy ships had entered the system. Most had and headed for safety before the sirens had stopped. The second alarm warned the craft were within striking distance of the planet and most likely now engaging the defence fleet. The third and final would sound when that line was broken and the orbital strike was imminent.\n\nThe news network broadcasts had been cut replaced by shelter information and evacuation centres. People had been flocking to the public shelters and spaceport since the first alert was raised. The huge hardened bunkered facilities were buried under kilometres of soil and rock, made of the strongest materials available. They could become cramped but most agreed it was far better than being stuck on the surface during an attack.\n\nFar from the planet, a vast engagement was underway between two huge fleets. Ships ranging from small attack fighters in the 2000 ton range right up to the new super battleships massing over the 25 million tons exchanged fire with the enemy forces. Few on the defending ships believed they would be victorious, none before them had been. Even with the contingent of super battleships the fight was going the way of every encounter before…defeat.\n\nHigh energy partial beams lanced out silently from the ships, followed by antimatter tipped missiles. They burned and released gigatons of explosive energy against the advancing forces but nothing had an effect. Fighter craft buzzed between the giant capital ships releasing the new hyper velocity anti-ship missiles but again weapons the best minds in the Empire could create impacted harmlessly upon the hulls, the craft blasted by close-in-support fire. The battle was totally one-sided as weapons of exotic nature sliced entire ships in two, punching through 40m of the strongest armour mankind could manufacture leaving molten metal glowing white hot, rupturing engineering sections, and antimatter stores. \n\nOn the night side of the planet below the night sky was full of twinkling stars. Each one was a human ship meeting it fiery end. Gigantic shore batteries powered up, nicknamed ‘cloud rippers’ they targeted the closing ships and released kinetic rounds. Sonic booms thundered as the rounds cut through the atmosphere into space, slammed against the looming craft with no effect. It was at this point the third and final alarm sounded.\n\nAny craft, military or civilian that was trying to leave the planet was erased from existence by a well place blast of energy, the burning wreckage falling to the ground. Every ship, satellite or object in orbit, every sign that humanity controlled this world was systematically wiped-out and it wasn’t long before the attention was pointed toward the planet. \n\nFirst to go was any defensive units or military facilities, the shore batteries among them and then the bombardment started in earnest.\n\nDeep in civilian shelter 231b located 6km under the large mountain range in the north continent people huddled in the beds provided confident they could ride out attack. The vibrations started slow at first but began to increase in strength and frequency. The massive kinetic strikes slowly crept across the surface of the planet. It wasn’t long before the thuds of impacts could be heard, lights started to flicker and cry’s of panic started to grow. A massive impact rocked the facility, more powerful than any earthquake, unknown to the people it was the sister shelter 231c situated 15km to the east meeting its destructive end. \n\nNo one in 231b felt the next hit; the object travelling at half the speed of light was maybe 20 metres in length made from material so dense that humans could only theorise about it. The entire shelter was crushed, tens of thousands of life’s extinguished in a millisecond as the round burrowed deep into the bedrock, vaporising millions of tons of rock and excavating billions more. It was one of hundreds carpeting every inch of the planet in apocalyptic explosions reducing the surface to molten rock. \n\nAs the alien craft left orbit they brushed past the gutted hulls of the ships that died in the defence of the world, setting course for the next system that needed to be purged of the infestation that was mankind.\n", "I was laying on the white sand beach of atropical island paradise. Beautiful women in not much clothing sung and danced and served me ice cold drinks and tasty snacks. The sun was low on the horizon and the temperature was perfect. \n\nThat's when the first alarm rang. \n\nEveryone fell into a panic. Nobody knew what that signal was for.\n\nThen the ground started to shake a little, but calmed down soon after and was all but forgotten. The party continued, even if with lower mood. \n\nThen, a second alarm rang. \n\nThe woman in the radio said something about this not being funny or a test. \n\nWe still had no clue as to what was up, so we resumed the partying. \n\nSuddenly, the sun became a super nova and the air became cold. So very cold.\n\nWhen the third alarm came, the world shattered... \n\n\nI blinked sleepily and switched off the alarm on my phone and closed the window my wife opened for the winters morning sun. " ]	5
	[WP] You go to hell, but come to find out in recent years, it's less a realm of eternal torment, but more like a place for rehabilitation. You're greeted by Cerberus, the three headed golden retriever in the waiting room.	[ "I woke up on a moving sidewalk, more or less in a crumpled heap with a suit case. The walls were glass but there was nothing to be seen on the other side of them expect for black streaked rocks. There were bright lights that floated near the ceiling, not hanging floating. Something wasn't right.\n\nLast thing I remember was driving... Christ, I'm dead. That car came across the centre line, it was raining. Shit, I had a project due today. The sidewalk winded down to set of double sliding g glass doors. When I was brought through them, I was greeted by an enormous three headed dog, fuck, it has to be the Cerberus. It was huge and had fangs the size of kitchen knives, I closed my eyes and braced for pain. I could feel the hot breath of it as it leaned down to examine me.\n\nThe dog started licking me with one of its heads, one snapped at the other for doing so and third spoke to me.\n\n\"Welcome to Afterlife Rehabilitation, Steven!\" \n\n\"Wait? What? I made it to Heaven?\" He looked around, this must have been a lobby. There was a front desk that had motivational stuff all over it, like \"hang in there!\" with that hanging cat. Flowers were on every side table beside the lounge chairs.\n\n\"Oh dear no, this WAS hell, Satan had a mid life crisis, oh, 2 or 3 thousand years ago and was tired of being called the 'bad guy' so he started helping people.\"\n\n\"That's uh, not so bad I guess.\" \n\nOne of the heads reached over to the desk and picked up a booklet with its mouth and handed it to me.\n\n\"We need you to fill out this questionnaire so we know what kind of rehabilitation you exactly need!\"\n\nI sat down in one of the loungers, there was a few other people scattered about, all filling theirs out. I tucked my bag under the chair and found a pen sitting on an end table. The questions were about how you felt about yourself and what brought you here according to you. I filled out that I never went to church, had sex out of marriage, on and on my list of sins went. I handed the questionnaire back to the Cerberus.\n\n\"Oh my, oh my. You were bad weren't you.\" I don't think the thing had even looked at my paper yet.\n\n\"Excuse me? I did what everyone else did.\"\n\n\"That's not for me to decide deary. See that little shuttle tube over there? Why don't you take you paper and place it in the designated spot. The shuttle will take you to your new home.\"\n\nReluctantly, I stepped inside and sat in the red leather seat. There was a slot, clearly for the questionnaire. I inserted the paper, the doors slammed shut and I felt the shuttle propel forwards. When it stopped, I was flung forward and crashed into the wall. The door slide open, there was a man sitting at a desk in a suit. He had slick black hair and his skin had a red hue to it.\n\nI gathered myself up from the floor and walked into the room. There was a chair, presumably were I was to sit. The room looked as if it was chiselled out of bedrock and, besides the desk and chairs, only had a small rug on the floor for furnishings. \n\n\"Please take a seat, Steven.\" He was motionless as I sat down, \"Water? Coffee? Cigarette?\"\n\nI accepted nothing as I was too confused by this time and just wanted to know what was going on. \n\n\"Normally, nobody comes to me, nobody accept people like you. We can't rehabilitate your kind and, unfortunately, I did have to keep some parts of Hell operational. You are going there Steven. I can fix almost everyone.\"\n\n\"W..W.. what was my sin??\"\n\n\"Reposting, Steven. Reposting\"\n\nEdit: phone and autocorrect." ]	1
This prompt courtesy of a really weird dream I had last night featuring the above scenario.	[WP] The Queen of England has secretly trained as a commando all her life, and terrorists have just broken into Buckingham Palace.	[ "\"Oh dearie me, and I was just having my tea and crumpets.\" The Queen sighed, not for herself, however.\n\n\"HANDS UP, QUEEN,\" the terrorists bellowed. The Queen raised her hands high up as the terrorists positioned a camera in front of her.\n\n\"This.. is your Queen, not so strong now, eh?\" The group of terrorists snickered, and the Queen lowered her hands down discreetly enough to not attract attention.\n\n\"Gee, I am stronger than you think, you know.\"\n\nThe terrorists started to laugh, hard, nothing could possibly go wrong with a 90 year old joking around, right?\n\n\"Oh yeah, what are you going to do?\"\n\n\"T H I S\"\n\nThe Queen lifted up her dress, only to reveal several tons of guns ranging from SMGs to Snipers to bombs, and the Queen smiled softly at the bewildered terrorists.\n\n\"Long live the Queen, bitches.\"" ]	1
	[WP] A universe where swallowing a seed actually makes a tree grow in your stomach	[ "I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK\n\nI sleep all night and I work all day.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nHey, what can I do, I hum when I'm nervous. I've done the procedure about fifty times now, and before that I was a smokejumper, but even mere thought about what's to come makes me shudder. It is simply unnatural.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI cut down trees, I eat my lunch\n\nI go to the lavatory.\n\nOn Wednesdays I go shopping and have buttered scones for tea\n\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAt least I'm saving lives, and it's mostly mostly kids these days. Adults have quickly learned to watch for seeds and they know that they should induce vomiting if they swallow. Kids on the other hand just wait until first leaves grow out of their mouths.\n\nIt all started in 2017, when one of the big players introduced acid rain resistant fruit trees. Genetic engineering at its finest. Except nobody expected the side effects. When you accidentally eat a normal apple core, the seeds get digested with no ill effects at all. But GMO seeds thrive, germinate and grow.\n\nHere's where I and my team come in.\n\n\"50 units of Maalox, stat!\" Hollers a doctor. \"You guys are go!\"\n\nI fire up my chainsaw and crank it, pumping it menacingly through the air as I step onto the reductor plate. Our job is not really that different from a smokejumper. We get reduced in size to a little over half inch and slide down an endoscope tube into the stomach. It's a crazy ride.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI cut down trees, I skip and jump\n\nI like to press wild flowers.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nImmediately after arrival I start to frantically cut the branches of a pear tree, while Bill and Joel feed them into a wood chipper. I try to focus on my task, and not on the organic, undulating surroundings. I really don't want to vomit into my helmet again. \n\nWe're a well oiled machine, and everything goes smoothly. We have lost people before - to falling trees, machinery and most horribly to stomach acid, when the doctors fucked up on the meds dosage. But today we were lucky, the tree and its root is gone, and we leave - luckily the same way we came in.\n\nI stow away my gear, fill in the paperwork and hit the shower.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\nNow, for the rest of the song... my body trembles with excitement...\n\n\n&nbsp;\n\n****\n\n&nbsp;\n\nVisit [/r/graphomaniac](https://www.reddit.com/r/graphomaniac) for more stories." ]	1
	[WP] You can become superintelligent, but only when you are drunk. This leads to some... interesting antics.	[ "\"-So you see Morty, that's why I drink all the time.\"\n\n\"Oh man, Rick, do you really think it's worth it? I-I mean you could be perfectly normal I would still love you. Mom would still love you.\"\n\n\"You don't get it Morty! Without this stuff I'm dumber than Jerry. There's no normal anymore without it. But I need to get more booze. The best stuff is in the Sliptrop system. Get in Morty, let's fucking go!\"\n\nAs Rick and Morty travel through space in the general direction of the Sliptrop system, Rick realizes he forgot something. In his chest pocket there is only emptiness where his flask should be. \"M-m-morty, g(burp)o in the back and find me some alcohol. I l-left my flask at home Morty.\"\n\nAs Morty stumbles around hundreds of empty booze bottles, he quickly realizes that's all that is back there. Empties. \"Oh jeez Rick, there's nothing back here but a bunch of empty bottles.\"\n\n\"What?!\" Rick exclaims, clearly panicked. \"J-just don't worry, maybe I should be fine until we get there. Only two lightyears away.\"\n\n\"Rick, I think you should stop somewhere and get some alcohol so you don't forget how to fly this thing!\"\n\n\"Are you insane? Morty, i-if I put any cheap liquor in my system, my liver will just say fuck this shit and kill me. The hardest working organ in the galaxy will give up. By the way, this is probably a bad time to mention it, but if I sober up, you'll have to fly this thing.\"\n\n\"WHAT?!\"\n\n\"Morty, when I'm sober, I'm as stupid as a clismodian. I'll never be able to fly this thing sober. Morty, I actually get dumber than you! Y-(burp)ou have to do it Morty.\"\n\n\"Wait, if you were so desperate for alcohol, why didn't we just portal there?\"\n\n\"BECAUSE I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THAT, MORTY! I'M ALREADY STARTING TO SOBER UP! HURRY UP AND TAKE CONTROL BEFORE I FUCK SOMETHING UP!\"\n\n\"Oh, jeez, um, oh okay um...\" Morty fumbles with the controls, trying desperately to remember what his now unconscious grandfather taught him about the ship.\n\n" ]	1
Survive!	[WP] You are a 18th century soldier, and have been disinherited from the Army. For this, they sent you to an island alone, with 3 items of your choice.	[ "When the crew mutinied, I alone stood fast at my post. I barred the door not for the fool who called himself captain, but for my duty to my country. They begged me to step aside as they leveled their rifles to my chest. I was steadfast. I flinched ready for the execution, but instead felt the weight of a sailor landing upon my back and forceing me to the ground. As they subdued me, I heard the galley door forced open and the screams, shouts, and shots from inside. It was over in minutes.\n\nThe new crew had a dilemma. They admired my courage and knew me as an honest man. I had never raised a hand against them, and had risked punishment on several occasions when the Captain's reckless actions had put duty at odds with honor. They wouldn't kill me without turning some of the crew against their tenuous claim of leadership.\n\nAnd so it was that I was put aboard the launch boat and carried to shore. The island was a small rocky outcropping in the middle of the sea. There was small groves of trees sprouting from the volcanic sand, and enough cover to provide some protection from the elements. The crew assured me there was freshwater to be found.\n\nThey were kind enough to grant me three objects to carry with me. A rifle is always a must for a soldier. It was a boon that they included the kit with the rifle as one item. There were soldiers among them. The second item was a small hammered metal pot suitable for cooking small amounts. I had been aboard a ship for some time, and had come to understand the life of the sea. Just as a soldier needs his rifle, a sailor needs rope. I saw many nods among the crew as I was handed a long length of cordage.\n\nThey wished me luck and no hard feelings before pushing the launch through the surf and back to the waiting ship. I watched as the sails filled upon the mast pushing the ship out to sea. I shook my head. The island would be heaven compared to the hell they faced. God did not protect mutineers.\n\nI moved along the beach and quickly found that the island was inhabited by goats and pigs from previous voyages. In only an hour I had found what I was searching for: a stream made its way down from the mountains and entered the ocean in a small cascade. The creek came down in a small bay which was sheltered from storms by tall cliffs. Even in high tide this port would remain calmed. It was there I found shelter in a small alcove of the rocks.\n\nI gathered tinder and wood as the night began to steal across the horizon. I looked far out and saw what I believe was the tiny light of the mutineers. My eyes were capable of deceit, but there seemed to be another light moving toward the mutinous flicker. Perhaps it was just wishful thinking.\n\nI lay my rifle's pan near the brushy tinder and pulled the trigger. The flash was blinding in the darkness, but as my eyes readjusted they saw the satisfying flicker of a small flame. I fed fuel to the fire before laying down for sleep. The sounds of night woke me throughout.\n\nIn the morning I woke to the bleating of goats. I moved quietly to the opening of my shelter and looked to the creek where a herd lowered their heads in long drinks. Old billy stood tall and watchful as his harem drank. I pulled the bayonet from its halberd and fixed it tight to the rifle. I charged from cover. Surprise was on my side and the goats had grown lazy without predation. Billy bleated and the goats scattered. One female failed to decided which way to run and held fast. I pushed forwarded and speared her through. Her pitiful bleating was cut short as I stabbed again.\n\nI sat beneath my shelter savoring the smell of roasting goat and looking out upon my island. Somewhere in the far off sea I heard thunder." ]	1
	[WP]You're having a tea party with your favorite stuffed animals when suddenly, Mr. Teddy whispers "quiet, they are listening" in a hushed, raspy voice.	[ "\"Come on.\" The little girl commanded. She grabbed her cousin by the hand and pulled him from the kitchen.\n\nHe shrugged at his sister and her husband as he was dragged out mid-sentence. They had been asking about his college classes and other general topics of no real consequence. \"Where are we going, Rosie?\"\n\nThe four year old looked at him as though he were the small child and she the adult. \"Showing you my room.\"\n\n\"Ohhh, obviously.\" Jack grinned. \"I haven't seen it yet. This visit.\" He continued smiling at her. He tried to speak to her as he would an adult as per her parent's wishes, but he always ended in just a slightly higher range of voice.\n\nRosella took the stairs one per leg. The last time he had been there, she'd gone up one stair at a time. \"Hurry!\"\n\nJack wasn't sure what the hurry was, likely Mr. Teddy had lost his glasses again. A typical problem for the ageing bear. \"You're doing a really good job with those steps, you know that?\"\n\n\"It's just walking, Jack.\" She said.\n\nWow, when did she become a teenager? He laughed a little, and she turned towards him, eyes narrowed. \"I'm hurrying!\" Jack said, and took an extra stair that step.\n\nAt the top of the stairs a hallway stretched off in both directions. Jack reached out and flipped the light switch. No response. He flipped it off and back on again. \n\n\"The light is burnt out, and you're not supposed to play with the light switch.\" Rosie crossed her arms looking at him, and then turned to continue down the hallway. There was still a little light coming through the windows as it wasn't too long past dinner yet. Jack figured she'd be fine not to trip if Steve hadn't replaced it yet. \n\n\"Come on!\" Rosie repeated and darted down the dim hallway and into her room at the end. \n\nJack picked up the pace, but refused to run. He was an adult. Jack hesitated at the door. He always felt a little weird going into rooms alone with his niece. Not that he was a creep or anything, but he always just felt a bit uncomfortable. He'd heard too many stories of creepy uncles and just wanted to make sure everything always looked like it was completely on the up-and-up. \n\nJack peered into the dark room, looking for his niece. He heard a baby crying downstairs and the soft cooing voice of his sister, and the apparently comforting rumble of ex-army Steve. Jack flicked the light switch his now customary three flicks. Nothing. This room had only east-facing windows and was pretty dark.\n\n\"Start the tea party.\" Rosie commanded. She knew she was spoiled. So did he. It didn't change anything. \n\nJack thought her voice was coming from the closet. His eyes started to adjust to the light. Her Teddy Bear, the aforementioned Mr. Teddy sat in a semi-circle with Cat and Emily. Jack was impressed at his own ability to remember the names of her toys. There was a jug of punch drink and some cups arrayed before the toys and one where he was presumably supposed to sit.\n\nJack eyed the cups, pursing his lips. He wiped his down with the the inside of his shirt. It had looked fairly clean, but you can never be too sure. He poured a tiny amount of punch into the cup. \n\n\"Fill their glasses too, and make sure you keep talking to them so they don't get lonely!\" Rosie's shrill voice came out from under the bed this time. \n\nHow had she gotten under there from the closet? How could she even see him in this light? He poured some equally tiny amounts into the toys's cups. \"How are you doing, Mr. Teddy?\" Jack said addressing the bear in as respectful a voice as he could manage. Rosie had been known to throw a fit if he wasn't treated like an adult because he was 'forty-sixty-three.' An impressive age, to be sure. After waiting out an appropriate pause for Mr. Teddy's response, Jack turned to the doll. \"And Emily, you're looking quite well. Very healthy! I bet you've been eating all your vegetables and getting lots of exercise?\" Never pass up on opportunity to be a good example to the little'uns. He smiled, pleased with his conniving.\n\n\"Quiet, they are listening.\" A hushed voice rasped out.\n\n\"Rosie?\" Jack said his voice wavering.\n\n\"Drink your tea, and then I can come out.\" Rosie responded, her voice coming from behind the closed closet door again. \n\nJack shook his head. He must've imagined the voice. That's what two hours of sleep for two nights in a row, and energy drinks to make up for it would do to you. He picked the cup up and drained it. Jack grimaced, having forgotten that he wasn't going to drink out of a cup he found in a four year old's room.\n\n\"You really shouldn't have done that.\" The deep voice rasped again, phlegm seeming to rattle in the back of the throat of the speaker.\n\n\"Who's there?\" Jack whispered back, but his tongue wasn't working very well. Was there someone in his niece's room? Jack drew his fists up in front of his face. Or he tried, but they just flopped over like dying fish on the dock. Had someone come in here to drug and kidnap Rosie? He struggled to get his arms in position, he'd never let them take her. He slid over onto his side, one eye pressed into the carpet closed. With his other eye he could just see the bear and the closet door.\n\n\"I'm so sorry.\" That deep voice rasped. It was coming from the bear! There must be some sort of a walkie-talkie in it! Then Mr. Teddy turned to look at him. \"They're coming for you now. I'm so sorry.\" The bear repeated.\n\nJack would have freaked out at this talking stuffed animal, but he could barely move, he managed a strangled whisper, \"Who?\"\n\nDespite anticipating the bear responding to him, he still jumped, or tried to when the bear answered, \"Those who walk below. The beings inhabiting the form that appears to be Rosie.\" Jack thought he saw a single tear squeeze from the bear's eye at her name.\n\nJack couldn't even move enough to blink now. He was grateful that his eye pressed into the carpet was closed. He just wished his other eye was closed too. The closet door opened slowly, a slight creak as the door passed the halfway mark. A dark hand grasped the edge of the closet door, long bony talons emerging from the ends of the second digit of each finger and gouging slightly into the wood.\n\nJack lay there motionless, unable to even move his eyes.\n\n\"Good.\" Rosie's high-pitch voice called from behind the still opening door. \"I had hoped that dosage would be enough.", "\"Don't ignore me, Sandra,\" comes the rhaspy voice inhabiting Mr. Teddy. Those pupil-less glossy black eyes felt fixated on me, but I didn't look up. I kept my eyes on the chipped china cup in my hands, tracing the rim with an equally chipped painted finger.\n\n\"...and whiskers on kittens,\" I half hummed, half whispered to myself. Mama taught me to sing when the voices came. Sing louder than they were until they got tired and went away for a while longer.\n\n\"Please, don't let them hurt us,\" pleaded Randy Rabbit. \"Not again, Sandra.\"\n\n\"Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens...\"\n\n\"Shhh, both of you. If he hears us it's game over. The end, friend.\" Mr. Teddy again.\n\nThe voices went away for good for little while, a few months when I got to see the Doctor. He gave me medicine that made things quieter, but also made me sick, and sleepy. I didn't like it much, was almost happy when Mama said she could afford the medicine anymore. Then Papa brought a new kind of medicine.\n\n\"Brown paper packages tied up with strings.\"\n\n\"I don't want to do this anymore!\" The rabbit sobbed, despite having a mouth that was torn open days past, stuffing popping from the gash. \"I want a real little girl to play with!\"\n\n\"Quieter, fool! We will tall later. Right now--\"\n\n\"THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS!\"\n\nI screamed, clamping my hands over both ears.\n\n\"Cream colored ponies and warm apple strudels! Doorbells and sleighbells,\"\n\nBoots thumping up the stairs, tearing down the halway.\n\n\"Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings,\"\n\n\"Sandra!\" Roared Papa, practically ripping off the door hinges. \"Now you've done it.\" whispered a contemptuous voice to my right.\n\n\"These are... these are... no!\"\n\nPapa dived at me, pinning me to the ground. I snarled and gnashed my teeth, trying to claw out at him.\n\n\"Damnit Sandra. You're in your thirties. Having tea parties. Screaning like that. You're never getting better. You're a... waste of time... I regret everything about you!\"\n\nHis speech was interrupted by his panting. I could almost wear him down, but he was too string. Pinned to the ground by my neck, i felt the needle slide into my thigh.\n\n\"These are a... a few... of my... my...\"\n\nThe world was slipping, no, hurtling into darkness. A familiar pit of missed time and silence I was never coherent enough to enjoy. But not fast enough to miss the boot slamming into my face, Papa venting his frustrations out on a defenseless target. I could swear I felt a rib crack. Maybe this time he'd had enough and I wouldn't wake up at all. That would be nice.\n\n\"When the dog bites, when the bee stings,\" sang Mr. Teddy, soon joined by a sorrowful rabbit. \"When I'm feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things...\"\n\n\"And then I don't feel so bad.\"", "Anna sat the animals all around the table, placed the dishes just so, and filled their cups with delicious dandelion butterscotch tea before sitting down herself. Poof the Bear, Sweetheart the Lamb, and Pinchy the Crab all readied themselves for the party, and even Sharpy the T-Rex seemed at attention for a change. She hummed and sang out loud, because a proper tea party needed music as much as it needed biscuits! \"Now let's begin!\" She clapped her hands and blew on the steaming cup of tea before her.\n\n\"Quiet,\" Poof the Bear whispered, \"they are listening!\"\n\nAnna sat up, looking at the bear. \"w..what?\"\n\n\"You mustn't speak so loud! If they hear...\" The bear shivered. \n\n\"YOU CAN TALK!\" Anna yelled. All at once, the animals at the table were waving their claws and paws in the air, and Sharpy the T-Rex put his tiny hand over her mouth. \"SHHHHHH\" He said in a low grumble, \"Good Lord, girl, do you not understand what 'be quiet' means? You're putting us all in danger!\"\n\nPinchy the Crab ran to the door, peeking out, \"Nothing yet. I think we're good.\"\n\"Keep listening! Are you sure?\" Sharpy looked even more annoyed than normal.\n\nSweetheart the Lamb sat in front of Anna, taking her hand in his fuzzy hoof. He spoke, a low grizzled growl, like he had been swallowing rocks for years, \"You listen here, little one. You gotta be quiet in here, from here on out, see? You understand?\"\n\nAnna started to cry, but Sweetheart waved her off, \"We don't have time for that, darling. Answer some questions for me, but quietly, okay? Okay?\"\n\nShe fought back the tears, \"Okay, Sweetheart. I'll be quiet.\"\n\nSweetheart's voice was all gravel, but somehow softened a bit, \"That's my girl. Now you make a great dandelion butterscotch tea, and you are a great friend, but I some info from you, and I need you to be honest, okay? Do you understand?\"\n\n\"I do\"\n\n\"Okay, so answer me this, Anna. When was the last time your parents hugged you?\"\n\nAnna was taken aback, \"Hugged me? Umm, I don't know.\"\n\nSweetheart shook his head impatiently, \"No, you know, just think hard. When was the last time? Was it last week? Was it two weeks ago?\"\n\nAnna honestly could not remember the last time either of her parents had hugged her. That was odd, she was always getting hugs, especially from her Dad. He hugged her at her last day of school, but that was a while ago. \"A month, probably.\"\n\nPinchy leaned back from peering out the door, \"A month? Sweetheart, if that's true -\"\n\nSweetheart waved him off, \"Okay, Anna. Thank you for answering. Another question? When was the last time you saw them eat anything?\"\n\nThat she had noticed. She always, always ate dinner with Mom and Dad up until about a month ago, when her Mother told her she was big enough to get her food herself now, threw her a cookbook and that was that. She had learned how to cook eggs and pancakes and even french toast one time, but it was too messy, and the pantry was always stocked with cereal so she ate a lot of that, too. But she never saw them eat, ever, during that time. \"About... About a month. What's going on? Are my parents okay?\"\n\nSweetheart frowned, \"No kid, no they're not okay. But you still are, and we mean to keep you that way. We need you to be brave now, okay?\"\n\nPoof leaned in close to Sweetheart, \"If it's been a month already, they might be in the midst of changing already, we have got to get her the hell out of here before it's too late.\"\n\nSweetheart stood, \"I'm aware.\"\n\nPoof continued as if Sweetheart said nothing, \"There's at least a decent chance they are on their way now, we have no weapons! They're going to be hungry and you know what they want to eat-\"\n\nSweetheart cut him off then, again saying, \"I'm aware! Dammit man, let me think a bit.\"\n\nHe turned back to Anna, \"You gotta understand kid, they might have looked like your parents for the last month, but your parents are gone. Those things walking around in your parents bodies are incubating, like a caterpillar in a cocoon, and if it's been a month, they're ready to hatch. They possibly have already hatched, which means they'll be hungry, which means they're headed this way. You are food to them, now. I know that's a lot to process and you're so young, but you have to because we have no time to wait. We might have to fight. Do you see?\"\n\nIt all suddenly made sense to Anna, the last month was the oddest of her life and she could see that those weren't her parents at all anymore. They were bad. They were terrible things that ate her parents and wanted to eat her! She was crying, but she nodded. \"I want to fight them! I want them to pay for what they did!\"\n\nSweetheart nodded, smiling, \"Good girl! Everyone, look for something to fight with in this room, we are late to the party so we'll have to improvise. Baseball bats, scissors, knitting needles, use your imaginations, people. We don't have a lot of time and the odds are against us, but we can still prevail. We have a little girl to save!\"\n\nPinchy yelled from the door, \" Shit, they're coming! And they have molted!\" His fuzzy crab legs shuffled across the length of the door, drawing tight a barely visible string in front of it. \"Attack plan Theta!\"\n\nPoof the Bear and Sharpy the T-Rex echoed, \"Attack plan Theta!\"\n\nAnna grabbed the hammer her Dad had left in her drawer when he built the desk. She stopped and turned toward Sweetheart. She crossed her arms and asked, \"Why are you here, Sweetheart? You guys never spoke before.\"\n\nSweetheart pulled the drumstick off the xylophone, snapping it in half and wielding the remnants in both hands, \"Lots of monsters in the world, kid. Someone's gotta fight 'em. Sorry we were late, it gets busier every year.\"\n\n\n\n", "My golden ringlet curls swung wildly around my face as I turned to Mr. Teddy. Had I just hear him talk? I could have sworn I had just heard him say “we are are listening.” My blue eyes looked down to the tiny pink plastic tea cup in my hand. Had I consumed something that would make me hear voices? I set the tea cup down on the pink play table that my dad had put together for my 7th birthday \n\nAt the beginning of the tea party I had asked Mr. Teddy if he wanted to sit next to his wife, Queeny. My look swept around the table, looking to Queeny Unicorn, then Toadster the Frog, and finally resting again on Mr Teddy. I leaned over and whispered back to him, still unsure I had heard anything at all. “Who is listening?” I thought of the N.S.A. That my father had talked about more and more frequently while watching the news. I didn't know who, or what the nsa was but maybe they were listening? \n\n“Me, Toadster, and Queeny” Came the same voice from Mr. Teddy, his lifeless brown eyes shifted in the plushy stuffing of his face and met mine. I was frozen in shock, a dawning realization that my stuffed animals might actually be alive. “We hear everything about you Chloe. Everything...” Mr teddy sounded ominous, as if the knowledge he and this stuffed companions knew would somehow get me into trouble.\n\n“What do you mean Mr. Teddy?” My 7 year old blue eyes were wide with the shock that had me rigidly held me in place. I tried to think of anything I had done that would get me punished for being found out. \n\n“We remember when you force us to do things...” What had seemed like lifeless doll eyes were filling with rage. “You know, Chloe, about the time you made me hump Queeny? She still cries about it at night.” A tiny brown paw was curling into a tight fist, and I was suddenly afraid that Mr. Teddy would attack me. “That's why we don't talk to you? Because your such a bad bad girl.” \n\nMy child brain immediately denied the allegations that I had misused my toys with malicious intentions. “No, Mr Teddy I didn't do anything like that, I promise.” My voice had risen several octaves and was high with a nervous panic. I shook my gold hair with vigor and stood up quickly from the table. It appeared as if Mr. Teddy was lunging after me, sick of his mistreatment at the hands of a cruel young girl. I fell over backwards tripping on the upturned chair. The back of my head slammed hard into something and blackness consumed my vision.\n\n…...\n\nI woke in a hospital, some 15 years later. The doctors attempted to explain to my addled brain that I had a stroke during my childhood which had left me in a coma for many years. I would never really know if Teddy Bears could talk, or if Stuffed Unicorns could cry, but I never bought a stuffed animal again.\n\nEdited based on feedback: removed mentions of parents" ]	4
	[WP] Idioms become true once someone says them. Chaos ensues.	[ "I stroll into the living room to find my brother staring off into space. More specifically, it appears he is counting the bread crumbs left on his plate. He doesn't seem to notice me enter the kitchen, and continues to ignore me while I scrounge up a bowl of cereal.\n\nI sit and eat quietly for a moment before deciding to break the ice. \"Hey bro, penny for your thoughts?\" \n\nHe shakes his head and his eyes go wide. \"Woah, I really zoned out there. Morning dude.\"\n\n\"What were you thinking about there?\" I ask.\n\n\"Honestly. . . I don't know. I'm still half-asleep, you know?\" \n\nI let out a very weak laugh and assure him I know the feeling.\n\nJust because it's Saturday doesn't mean I can sit around like a lazy bum all day; after breakfast I head out to run a few errands. I hop in the car and head to the bank. Jack White's blues-tastic tunes breathe life into my groggy body as I make the drive. \n\nI pull up to the curb and head over to the parking meter when a man stops me. He must be sweating bullets because he is wearing a black hoodie in the middle of summer. \n\nHe says, \"Hey man, got any change? I ran out of quarters and I don't want a ticket.\"\n\n\"Sure, sure.\" I reach into my pocket and fish out a hand-full of loose change. I make sure to grab a few quarters for myself and hand him the rest. What's a bunch of nickels, dimes, and pennies matter anyway?\n\nThe second he grabs the money something strange happens. I don't know how to describe it really, but I hear this voice; it sounds like the hooded fella, but only thing is he isn't talking. He's walking away now and I still hear his voice clearly in my head.\n\n\"Hmmm... I'll have to spare that one if he walks into the bank with me. Probably just saved me from getting a ticket. Although, I guess that's the least of my worries once I empty this bank for all it's worth. Wait, why am I even bothering to pay for parking before this? Old habits die hard, I suppose.\"\n\nWhat? I must be losing my mind. The grumblings of the stranger continue to rattle off over my own thoughts; I can't drown them out. I swear he said something about robbing the bank. That's ridiculous though.\n\nI decide to follow him in against my better judgment. I've always had these fantasies about stopping the bad guy and becoming a hero. This way, if he follows through with his plan I can be ready to stop him. \n\nSure enough, the moment he approaches the desk he whips out a gun and the screaming begins. About ten people drop to their knees in response to his demands. I join them quivering on the floor with my hands over my head, peeking up at the stranger as he robs the bank. So much for my fantasies; it turns out I'm sort of a giant coward.\n\nThe clerk hands over wads of cash and coins while pleading for the robber not to harm anyone. The stranger has had enough and starts grabbing the money from her hand to speed up the process. He grabs a roll of coins and the clerk stops in her tracks. \n\n\"I swear if these people move any slower I'll start shooting.\" His voice rings out in my mind again.\n\nThe clerk shouts, \"No please don't shoot I'll move faster!\"\n\nThe robber is stunned for a second. He says aloud, \"That's it, I don't have time for this,\" and grabs his bag off the counter. He was too careless and the cash spills out everywhere. A roll of pennies explodes as it hits the ground, scattering about the bank.\n\nNo one is sure how to respond. Finally, one panicked man picks up a couple pennies and pleads, \"Here! They are all yours just take them and go.\" The rest of the patrons, follow suit and scamper to grab his coins.\n\nHe starts running and says, \"Keep the damn pen—\" That's all he manages to get out before he falls to his knees and spins around. \"Who said that? GET OUT OF MY HEAD!\" \n\nThe robber's eyes dart back and forth rapidly. \"Shut up, shut up, shut up,\" he mutters. He kicks on the ground and backs himself up into a wall. He continues to rant and squirm as he pulls up his hood and curls into a ball. \n\nThen, with perfect clarity, I hear the robbers voice in my head once more. \"What is happening to me?\" \n\nAnd that was the last time I heard his thoughts." ]	1
	[WP] It turns out that all divine and supernatural beings exist, and are even created by those that believe in them. In the near future, the Flying Spaghetti Monster awakens, extremely confused.	[ "I don't remember waking up.\n\nAs far as I knew, I had always existed. I had always been coiled up here, in this cold, dark, smooth world. And I was pleased with that, for the first few hours.\n\nBut that couldn't be. I existed, I could think, but I had never thought. \n\nWhat is this...? Who am I? What is this world?\n\nI extended my tendrils, searching for an answer. My only answer was the smooth, cold surface, which had always hugged me. Writhing in frustration, I finally found an anomaly on one side. I pushed and it gave way.\n\nLight. Blinding light. And darkness. And... stars. Yes... that was the word. I reached for them, but could not grasp them. I turned back to my prison, and saw that it was... a teapot. \n\nBut how did I know this? What did it all mean? My tendrils squirmed in frustration. I whirled through the darkness of space until I saw it. Earth. And I knew suddenly, where I would find my answer. In an instant, I was there. \n\nIn front of me, an odd, pudgy man with a long mane of dirty hair sat in front of a television. The surrounding room was an absolute mess. There was something off about the man. Suddenly, he saw me.\n\nThe man shrieked, hopping onto the backrest of his couch, before calming. \"M-my lord... I knew it! I... I knew you were the one true Creator... I always knew!\"\n\nI stared at him, silent.\n\nHe got down on his knees, bowing. I noted absentmindedly that I was dripping marinara all over his clothing, and the floor. Never the matter.\n\nFinally, I sighed. \"Clarence.\"\n\nHe looked up quickly and excitedly. \"Yes, my Lord?\"\n\n\"You do know that this is a joke religion, right? Simply put, it was made as a way of mocking other religions. I am a joke. I should not exist.\"\n\nClarence was dumbfounded. \"Oh. ...Ohhhhhh, I get it now.\"\n\nI don't remember ceasing to exist, but I must have.\n\nEdit: Typo and punctuation." ]	1
	[WP] Yesterday, you discovered a magical map with a realtime, satellite view of the world - wherever you touch it, a single potato appears. Today, you discovered the 'zoom' feature.	[ "`Booting up Potato map V. 1.2.582`\n\n\n`Loading assets`\n\n\n`Loading... 58% Done`\n\n\n`Loading... 82% Done`\n\n\n`Finished loading`\n\n\nI stared at my phone as these words filled the screen. \"Potato Map\". I didn't think a lot about the app I have gotten from the playstore, after all, it had a 4 star rating. A setup agent appeared. It had a clear, user-friendly interface, with a potato as a mascot. Well, it looked like a completely normal map, kind of similar to Google maps, however the developers praised it's great functionality, and the number of features was simply much more than Google maps could offer. I played around with the map, the settings, and such. However one small thing was bothering me: I wanted to take a closer look on my friend's house, however, it wouldn't let me zoom in. I tried everything: Pinching the map, double-tapping, and all the usual stuff, but it wouln't let me zoom in. However, one small detail caught my attention: Whenever I tapped on any place in the map, a small counter in the top right corner kept incrementing. I shrugged it off though, because it was getting late. \n\n\nRight as I wanted to go to sleep, my friend Jack called me.\n\n\n\"Ey man, you have to believe me! I was going out of the house because I heard weird noises outside, right as a fucking potato fell on my head\"\n\n\n\"Come on, stop talkin' shit!\", I said\n\n\n\"No, really, you have to believe me\"\n\n\n\"When did this happen?\"\n\n\n\"I don't know, maybe... half an hour ago?\"\n\n\n\"Hmm... sounds interesting\"\n\n\n\"Anyways, good night\"\n\n\nHe hung up.\n\n\n\nI was confused at first, but then it all has dawned upon me. \"Shit\", I thought. It was only half an hour since I owned the potato map. I came to a conclusion that whenever I tapped the screen, a potato would appear, therefore also incrementing the counter of the potatod I have created. Now I was fully awake, I really wanted to prove that I could actually make potatos appear with my new, magic potato map. I tapped on my house, like about 5 times.\n\nTHUD\n\n\nTHUD\n\n\nTHUD\n\n\nTHUD\n\n\nTHUD\n\nI counted the thuds. Five times in total.\n\nIt was all true, I can now create potatos at my will. I'm the potato overlord\n\n\nPart 2 coming in a few hours, since I have to go, I'm busy\n\n^^Also, ^forgive ^^me ^any ^^grammar ^and ^^spelling ^mistakes, ^^english ^isn't ^^my ^native ^^language\n\n" ]	1
	[WP]Unicorns are creatures thought to be pure and shy, but this is far from the truth they exist and the reason we don't see them isn't because they are shy, it's because they were imprisoned long ago, today is the day they break free and they are far from pure and anything but wondrous	[ "With a deep breath, Liosa examines the words carved into the rock in front of her. Her fingers, calloused with use, feel each chiseled marking. \n\n“I take it by your reaction that it wasn’t just myth and legend.” Seamus’s voice is low when he speaks. \n\nLiosa swallows hard. Words don’t come to her. She eventually nods in response. She brushes more of the dust and dirt off the words on the wall. They’re ancient, being old Gaelic. \n\n“Can you read it?” Seamus questions, seeming more curious. \n\n“I—I can.” Liosa’s voice comes out haltingly. The tone of her voice is changing. “I don’t—I dislike what’s being said here.” She steps back a couple feet. “I don’t quite understand…” Her voice slowly breaks off. \n\n“What are you talking about?” Seamus raises an eyebrow at her. \n\n“I don’t think they’re what we think.” Liosa reaches up, digging her fingers into Seamus’s shoulder. “We need to go. Now.” \n\n“Why?” Seamus blinks a bit, turning to follow Liosa’s movements away from the stone barrier. \n\n“Because they are not sunshine and rainbows and fucking Lisa Frank stickers.” Liosa yanks on his shirt. “We need to—to—to—” Liosa stutters over the last word, choking on it. Her eyes have moved, fixed behind Seamus. \n\nSlowly, with a growing pit of dread, Seamus turns to look behind him. What had once been a stone wall has turned much less solid. More like water, the words Liosa had touched glimmering in the dim light of their flashlights and looking etched into this new surface. Beyond, the ground looks twisted, as if it’s been poisoned. \n\nIt isn’t what’s drawing Liosa’s attention however. The honor for that goes to the thing standing on the far side of the barrier. The protruding, glowing spike coming from what Seamus can only assume is its head is the only thing it holds in common with its namesake. His eyes are constantly drawn to it, as if it’s attempting to draw him in. \n\n“Seamus!” Liosa’s screams go in one ear and out the other, the woman forced to release his shirt as he stumbles forward. \n\nSeamus touches the barrier at the same time as the creature slithers forward. There’s an explosion of blood, Liosa screaming as she backs away. The barrier flickers for a few moments before fading entirely, letting the blood splattered on it drop to the ground. With the line of sight clear, many more of the abominations can be see, far out into the depths of the cursed forest. \n\nThe first steps across where the barrier was extremely cautiously. The rot and poison of the forest beyond spread from each step it takes, inhabiting the very stone. There’s a moment before the creature makes a noise that makes Liosa’s ears bleed. \n\nShe does the only thing she can think of. Run. \n\nBehind her, the unicorns of Scotland follow, free to roam once again, spreading disease and poison in their wake. " ]	1
	[WP] A salesperson is making their usual rounds. However, the product they're offering is rather unusual: Death.	[ "\"Hello sir! We're offering a brand-spanking new product that's been around forever--- BUT! Never before seen like this!\" The salesman rambled as quickly as I opened the door to see who rang the doorbell.\n\nAlready impatient, I asked the salesmen to get to the point, \"Ahh, well you see sir our product is Death! Death itself! And our company is offering a special deal to you and your fa---\" \n\nBefore he finished his pitched I leaned in closer to stare down the neurons hidden behind the salesman's eyes and I said, \"I am that product. Would you like me to prove it on you?\" \n\nStanding bug-eyed and frozen he had nothing more to pitch. \n\nI sighed \n\n\"When your product takes my final breathe in this life, consider me sold.\" And I slammed the door on the salesperson's face and went back on Reddit. \n", "Firmly shaking my hand, The Last Rite rep leaves the room.\n\nFinally I am alone to contemplate the weight of my signature.\n\nA scribbled blur at the bottom of the page.\n\nI have been grinning and staring at it for almost an hour now.\n\nThe relief immense.\n\nThe needle tranquil.\n\nHappily, I read it again.\n\n\"Invoice: TCW49. Eternal sleep muscle relaxant package\"\n\nI look up, surrounded by other first fifty buyers in the terminal ward.\n\nAll are smiling.\n\nNone are breathing.\n\n \n" ]	2
	[WP] We discover that, by some mysterious means, no matter the living conditions within their vessels, all life dies upon reaching a certain distance from the Earth.	[ "Ponpon, ponpon, ponpon, this is Executive Officer Roland Farnsworth of the UCS Intrepid issuing a distress call to all nearby vessels. We are just outside the marker at OGLE-2013-BLG-0341LBb, twenty-nine hundred light years from Earth. We have taken on some kind of plague, all hands dead or dying. No attempt to salvage or rescue this vessel should be made. Ponpon, ponpon, ponpon.\n\nPart 1\n\n___\n\n\"Ma'am, I've got some new data, and I think you should see it.\"\n\n\"Private, I don't have time for reports from every goddamn component, we've got a full blown crisis developing here,\" snapped Colonel Cerne. It was sharper than she had intended. \"Go on, then.\" The PFC audibly gulped.\n\n\"Ma'am, it's...\" he paused, \"Medical Corps believes they may have isolated an organism.\" Col. Cerne, who had been tapping away on an email, stopped mid-sentence.\n\n\"Take me there,\" she said.\n\n____\n\nThe ride to the Medical Corps [conex boxes](http://countryconexbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/PHOTOLOGONOTEXT399X276.png) was a short jaunt through the sprawling antarctic compound. Col. Cerne peered out the passenger window, taking in the flat white landscape. The complete absence of movement outside was striking; no wind, no rain, no snow--the location had been chosen for its year-round lack of weather, but there was no acclimating a body and mind used to seasons. The average temperature, a brisk -90 degrees Farenheit, necessitated indoor living; Col. Cerne had been outside, on foot, exactly three times: once when arriving, once more when she had finished her deployment, and a third time when they turned her back from the snowcat because she had been extended. Today marked her 23rd month on [Ridge A](https://cdn.theconversation.com/files/7685/area14mp/zj5mhbk6-1329267499.jpg).\n\nThe tracks of the [snowcat](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/6e/f2/21/6ef22146015cd60a8182058af3fdbea6--snowmobiles-military-vehicles.jpg) churned up the dry, fluffy snow, rumbling past row after row of insulated conex habitats. The came to a lurching stop at the third on the left, second to last, the [Medical Corps insignia](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/09/US_Army_Medical_Corps_Branch_Plaque.gif) emblazoned on the airlock. The snowcat backed up to the [airlock](http://antarcticlife.com/storage/cache/images/custom/AI1J1641-jpg/xlarge.1462370208.jpg), docked, and with a great PHWOOSH the two atmospheres equalized. Col. Cerne unbuckled and followed the PFC into the hallway.\n\n___\n\n\"Doc,\" said Col. Cerne. Dr. Green didn't look up from his computer screen.\n\n\"Ma'am,\" he replied, \"buckle up for this shit.\" He waved her around the desk to a chair next to his. \"[This](http://images.fineartamerica.com/images-medium-large/tem-of-t4-bacteriophage-m-wurtzbiozentrum-university-of-basel-.jpg),\" he gestured at the screen, \"is a T4 enterobacteriophage, a virus that we have here on Earth. It infects bacteria that lives in our gut, and is incredibly common.\" He switched the image on the screen, \"now [this](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/af/a7/9c/afa79cd9acbb8fe78c4d29b07d5d7eca--scanning-electron-microscope-microbiology.jpg),\" he continued, \"is a bacteriophage we isolated from the first escape pod to successfully re-enter and not explode on impact.\"\n\n\"...should I be having some kind of revelation, Doug?\" Dr. Green blew out through his lips.\n\n\"Madeline, these are nearly identical creatures, and if we hadn't sequenced them, there's no way we would have known it was alien.\" Col. Cerne sat back, eyebrows up.\n\n\"Alien? As in, other than this planet? As in, living elsewhere?\" Dr. Green flapped his hands at her impatiently.\n\n\"Yes, yes, probably, but that's not the important thing. The important thing is that most bacteriophages that we're used to seeing are lytic-predominant organisms; that is, they use the host cell's infrastructure to produce numerous copies of itself, and then they lyse--or break up--the host cell to spread more bacteriophages.\n\n\"This phage,\" he gestured at the screen, \"is lysogenic-predominant, meaning that it incorporates itself into the DNA of the host cell, makes copies of itself, and lives parasitically or commensally within the host, altering the natural behavior of the bacteria to produce its effect.\"\n\n\"In this case, horrific, bloody death,\" interjected Col. Cerne. Dr. Green nodded.\n\n\"Here's the other thing,\" he said, \"the nerds over in aerospace have mapped an elemental profile from the probe, and they think it's consistent with space dust emanating from [NGC 7207](https://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/imagenes_universo/cosmos15_06.jpg), just inside the 3000 light-year line--\"\n\n\"... where every single ship has stopped responding,\" finished Col. Cerne. \"Doc, is this motherfucker killing our expeditionary force?\" Dr. Green shook his head. He rubbed his hands together. \"Oh for fuck's sake, Doug, what is it?\"\n\n\"We have thirty rhesus infected--\" he started.\n\n\"WHAT,\" she replied.\n\n\"Madeline, we have to model it, just think of the research implications, we can't just--\"\n\n\"Doug, are you out of your fucking mind?! You've seen the transmissions. You know what this organism can do, and you infected living creatures in my compound? I should have you fucking court martialed,\" she stood up and stormed to the door.\n\n\"Madeline.\" Something in his voice made Col. Cerne turn back around. He had his hands together in a prayer position, \"please. This might be the only way we can save the human race.\" She shook her head.\n\n\"It's Colonel Cerne, and this might be how you kill us all. Private!\" Col. Cerne summoned the hapless PFC back into the room, \"throw Major Green in the brig.\"\n\n\"...ma'am?\" said the PFC.\n\n\"Do it, Private, or you'll join him!\"\n\n____\n\nI intend to complete this story over at /r/illaqueable. [Part 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/illaqueable/comments/6q7agq/inspired_by_this_writing_prompt/) is in progress and will be added in-line with this story. Hope you enjoy it!" ]	1
Possible scenarios: the living dreams affect you after puberty you have just turned 18 and now must sleep The average age a human survives is barely over 40 you have just turned 86 how have you survived so long?	[WP] When you fall asleep you wake up in your dream world which the rules of physcis are whatever your brain has imagined. You wake up in the same condition you were in the dream at the point of awaking, you cannot control your dreams, one night you have a nightmare.	[ "There was a passage of Gilgamesh that always terrified me: “And in front of him there was darkness, and behind him there was darkness, and on his left side was darkness, and on his right side was darkness, and above him was darkness- and still he went on.” I hadn’t been thinking of it at all when I went to sleep, but I was carried in my dream to a world that was the opposite of that one and woke up to a white world. \n\nThere were no walls, no sky. I reached out my hand and felt- nothing. Not hot or cold or wind or resistance. I tried, like Gilgamesh, to go on, but my feet didn’t push against anything and I couldn’t feel if I was moving- anywhere. I never knew where my dreams would drop me, but always before there had been content. I’ve been eaten by snails, and bought bouquets of doorknobs, and been naked in classrooms in front of tests I didn’t study for, but I’ve never experienced nothing. \n\nMy eyes wouldn’t focus, since there was nothing to focus on, and I started seeing dark spots that weren’t there. I smacked my hands together and there was no sound. Shit. I wasn’t breathing either- I hadn’t noticed it before. There wasn’t even air here. I flung my self at the ground, but hit nothing. Was I upside down now? If there is no “down” can I be upside down? \n\nTerror. I could hear it in the rush of blood in my ears (why was my heart still pumping if I wasn’t breathing?) and I saw that my hands were shaking. I curled into myself and closed my eyes, “Go back to sleep, go back to sleep, go back to sleep…”\n" ]	1
	[WP] "Immortality and infinite wealth. The usual..." sighed the genie. "I'd also like the world to become a place where no action could be taken that would cause any kind of harm to other people," the summoner replied.	[ "\"Ah.\" His eyes took on a faraway look. \"I remember those days,\" he said, and smiled at my confused look. \"Years from now, of course. All days past and all days future are as a memory to me; knowing the result of any wish allows me to twist the intent of the wisher.\" He sighed at my expression upon hearing that. \"You try existing for millennia without getting bored.\"\n\nHe clapped his hands, returning to business. \"Your wish! No harm to other people...I think I can handle that and,\" he smiled, \"no twisting things this time. I rather enjoyed the next few centuries.\"\n\nHe brought his hands to his face, clasped them together, and held them before his closed eyes. Mumbling a phrase, he dropped his arms and spread them wide. \"Done. In the decades to come, as the new generation is born, all will follow the Wiccan Rede.\" Smiling at my new confusion, he explained, \"'An it harm none, do as ye will.' Perform no harm against another person.\"\n\nHe gestured in a circle. \"That means all people. Few realize what the rede really means. Not just against other people, but to not act against the interests of yourself, as well. Meaning,\" he looked meaningfully at my gut, \"no junk food. No excessively fatty foods. No soft drinks. No sugary foods. No...er, not exercising. No hours-long binging of Netflix - other than Korean dramas, those are simply the best, honestly, best wish ever - no excessive video game marathons.\"\n\nHe sighed happily. \"No fast-food restaurants. No homeopathy. No intentionally passing STDs, no excessive drinking. No passing roofies, no dealing in drugs, no child abuse, no family abuse. No female mutilation, and full equality between men and women, gay and straight. Race no longer means a thing; all religious arguments end when all follow the same path. Say goodbye to war. Not to mention the profit-first mentality of so very many people these days.\"\n\nHe shook my hand gently. \"Thanks, mate, for that wish. The world will never know what you were responsible for - I am bored, you recall, and gotta screw with you a little bit - but you've made it a better one all the same.\"" ]	1
	[WP] You have just invented time travel. You immediately rush to 2010 to buy some Bitcoin only to find Yourself there warning you not to do this.	[ "The bible warned us. It said that one day, people who had made the right choice would be lifted to the heavens. The people stuck on Earth would have to live through its final hellish months. Few people ever foresaw just how accurate this prediction would be. There had been a choice to make. The ones who had chosen correctly were in a better place now. The ones who had chosen bitcoin, however, were stuck living through the nightmare that the planet had become.\n\nA small creature wandered through this wasteland. It was a small canine, a young shiba inus. Around it, the creature heard tortured screams. It saw buildings on fire, it heard gunshots and witnessed people openly sobbing on the street.\n\n\"Wow,\" said the doge. \"So destruction. Much sad.\"\n\nIt stopped as it noticed two people arguing in the ruins of an old house. It was a man and a women shouting as their baby cried in an old, worn-down cradle. The doge trembled as it walked closer.\n\n\"The baby is starving!\" shouted the man desperately. \"We have to go to the store and get food!\"\n\n\"We can't!\" shrieked the woman. \"Our coins may be worth more tomorrow. We can't spend them now, we have to wait. We have to keep waiting. More bitcoins are lost every day, the value of ours keep growing!\"\n\nThe man swallowed hard. \"Darling, our child may be dead tomorrow. We need to buy some food now!\"\n\nShe hesitated. For a moment, the spying canine thought she might see reason. \"No,\" she whispered, demolishing that fragile hope. In an instant, her depressed eyes brightened as greed once again filled her with delusions of future riches. \"We'll sell the baby!\" she said eagerly. \"We'll sell it for more bitcoins!\"\n\nAs the man broke down in tears, the doge shook its head and walked away. There was nothing it could do. The woman was too far gone to see the way things were meant to be.\n\nWhen it finally reached its destination, the doge looked back at the dying planet one last time. A single tear fell from its eyes as it witnessed the destruction that bitcoin had brought. \"Lone tear,\" narrated the creature. \"Many symbolism. Much deep. Wow.\" The doge turned away from this horrible sight. It was time to leave this dead planet behind. It was time to go to the Promised Land in the heavens where the people who had chosen correctly all those years ago were waiting for it to join them.\n\nWith a final sigh, the doge boarded the rocket and blasted off to the moon.\n" ]	1
	[WP] You are an undercover. Unfortunately, you've gone so deep you forgot you are an undercover.	[ "\"LET GO OF ME!!!\" I screamed as I struggled to break free from the grasp of the police officers that had abducted me.\n\nSometime later, the blindfold I had on was taken off and I was blinded by the bright light in front of me, and I saw that I was tied to a chair in an interrogation room\n\n\"You can't do this to me!\" I stated angrily \"I have rights y'know!\"\n\nThe officers in front of me, who seemed familiar for some reason, gave a sad look.\n\n\"Chief, we got him\" said the blond haired cop into his radio \"It's as bad as we thought\"\n\nAbout 10 minutes later, a gray haired man walked in, I recognized him as the police commissioner.\n\n\"Jerry\" started the old man \"It's me, don't you remember me?\" The old man got closer to me\n\nI spat on his face \"I am not going to give you any info if that's what you want\" I replied\n\nAll of a sudden a bigger and rounder cop approached me \"Don't you remember who you are?\"\n\n\"Of course I do!\" I replied\n\n\"Really? What's your name?\" Asked the stereotypically fat cop.\n\n\"I am Patrick Wells\" I answered confidently \"And that's all you're going to get out of me!\"\n\nThe cops shared a look amongst themselves, I was confused by the way they were acting, almost as if they knew me.\n\n\"Listen to me\" started the commissioner \"your name is Jerry Springs, you are 26 years old, we sent you on an undercover mission to infiltrate the Kobra gang in order to discover where their weapon stockpiles were\" He seemed to be completely serious, and what he said seemed somewhat familiar.\n\n\"Do you think I'm an idiot? I am not going to fall for that blatant lie\" I responded mockingly. \n\n\"So you don't believe me?\" asked the gray haired commissioner \n\n\"Nope\" I answered \n\n\"Then I'll bring someone that hopefully will make you remember\" he made his way out of the room \"Bring my daughter in\" he ordered.\n\nTwo minutes later, a beautiful young woman walked into the room. Her silky black hair struck me, the way her body moved as she made her way towards me seemed frighteningly familiar. She settled down in the chair in front of me.\n\n\"Jerry, it's me, Emily, you remember me right?\" She asked in a hopeful voice. The way she looked at me made me want to say yes.\n\n\"No, I'm sorry, I don't know who you are\" I reluctantly answered.\n\n She gave a surprised gasp, a single tear rolled down her cheek, she then took out an engagement ring.\n\n\"You proposed to me a year ago!\" She said, voice rising and trembling with desperation \"please tell me you remember this, that you remember us!\" She begged as she broke down crying.\n\nEverything became clear at that precise moment \n\n\"Wow, I didn't know cops were now using such dirty tactics to get information!\" I said\n\nEmily (if that was even her real name) looked up at me \"What are you talking about?\"\n\n\"You are clearly just an actress of some sort giving me this sob story and feeding me false information to get me to reveal information\" I told her. \n\nThe room was silent for a long time. I then was punched in the face, surprisingly not by Emily, but by the blond cop from earlier.\n\n\"How could you forget us?!\" He spat at me \"Your friends, your family, your whole damn life?!\" It was cute how much effort they wet putting into trying to trick me.\n\nAs I got up I saw something from the corner of my (swollen) eye. It was Emily, holding up a picture of her and me, embracing each other with a sunset on the background.\n\nAll of a sudden Emily hugged me. The picture and her physical touch caused a rush of memories to flood my mind. I now remembered everything, who I was, who were all these people, and the mission I had been on.\n\nI broke down and started sobbing uncontrollably on Emily's shoulder.\n\n\"I... I remember everything\" I said between sobs. \n\nThe blonde cop, and the commissioner grabbed me. \n\n\"Emily, please leave\" said the commissioner \"we have to find out how he lost his memories\" \n\nAnd I was prepared to tell them everything " ]	1
Saw this on AskReddit and thought it would be a great writing prompt. USE VIDEO GAMES OR BOARD GAMES.	[WP] You are now trapped in the last game you played for 7 days, how will you survive?	[ "Cars roared by at insane speeds. I looked up and down the side of street, trying to find some sense of direction. Nothing for it, there seemed to be nothing but blackness. Hmm, well, nothing to do with it but try to cross the busy lanes of traffic. I started down towards a crosswalk.\n\nI don't know how long I walked, but I do know I never found that crosswalk. I looked back the way I came and toyed with the idea of heading back that way. But then it occurred to me, not only had I not come across a crossing, but there were no turn offs from the road. The road just seemed to go on for ever. So much for being careful.\n\nMy first tentative step was almost my last. A screaming block of metal on wheels didn't even waver, or honk for that matter. \"Hey, I'm walking here!\" I yelled at the vanishing car. Shit. I watched the flow for a moment, and made my move. Again.\n\nFour lanes of madness and I was safe. I huffed and puffed, and tried not to dry heave. I wiped the sweat from my brow and looked around. What the hell? A river? \"Son of a bitch...\" What was I supposed to do here?\n\nMore of the same, apparently. I tried to find a bridge to cross, but within a few minutes I came to the conclusion that much like a lack of turn-offs, there were no bridges. Or bends to this river. But it seemed to be chock full of logs. And turtles, big ones. This was ridiculous, but I knew that the answer to all of this was on the other side of this river.\n\nI timed my jump and landed on one of the turtles. Amazingly, it held up. A log came by, I made that jump. Another trio of turtles, another log, and then I was staring at an odd string of spots on the far bank. Well, in for a penny as they say, and it had to be shallow there. Some wet shoes were the least of my concern. I made the last jump and landed finally landed on the other side.\n\nCars roared by at insane speeds. I looked up and down the side of street, what the hell? I was just here! But it was the same thing, all over again. Cars, careening down the road. No sign of a crosswalk, or turns. Crap. I looked across the road, and now that I was paying attention I also saw the river. As I stared I saw something weird, yet familiar. I also saw me on the other side! Right where I had landed, looking rather pleased with myself. What the crap? Dammit, I was getting some answers, and if I had to kick my own ass then that's what I intended to do.\n\nI made it across the road. I made it across the river. I could see me, just standing there, but for some reason I couldn't get to me. Crap, well the next best thing was to finish the crossing and just walk over to me. I timed the next jump a few feet down river of my other self and leaped off the log.\n\nCars roared by at insane speeds. I looked up and down the side of street, and wait, again!? For the love of God, WHY!? And there was I was, again again. Two of me, there on the far side of the river.\n\nI made the crossing again.\n\nI made the crossing again.\n\nI made the crossing again. This time, I heard an odd chirping. Finally! Maybe all of this would be over-\n\nCars roared by at insane speeds. I looked up and down the side of street, this time there was big-ass snake trucking down towards me. It looked hungry. \"Son of a bitch!\" I hastily made the road crossing and stopped to catch my breath. I heard a hiss, another giant snake!? Where the hell was I, Florida? I hopped out on the turtles, and I was all set to hop to the log when it opened a mouth full of teeth. Gator teeth. It wasn't no damn log, it was an alligator!\n\nCrap, it was Florida. I wasn't sure I could survive much longer knowing that.", " I chugged my ale at the food table, looking at the food buffs that I could get before the hunt.\n\n \"Hmm, felyne polisher, or felyne insurance? Fuck it, I'm adept I'll take polisher.\"\n\n I ate my meal at an almost inhuman speed, stood up and flexed. \"I'll never get used to that.\" I muttered. \"Hey you ready? I called over to another hunter using a crossbow-like weapon with a rifle barrel.\n\n \"Yeah, just need to buy a bit more bullets for my bowgun.\" She walked up to the store clerk and pulled out a list.\n\n Fuck, she'll be another 5 minutes or so. \"How about you? I asked a guy with a large stick in one hand and a large bug in another.\n\n \"I need to feed my kinsect, its close to leveling up! I just need more speed and attack nectar.\" He wandered off towards the smithy. Fuck, that's like another 5 minutes wasted.\n\n \"And you?\" I asked a cat lying on the ground, almost like its playing dead.\n \"Wait a second...\" I looked at its food skills. Unlucky cat, felyne gamechanger, and felyne woodsman.\n\nFUCK, none of those skills are good! They make him start with less health, spawns an extra monster, and the last one doesn't even effect cats!\n\nI sighed and sat back down, pulling out another ale. \n\n\"God damnit Mittens.\"\n" ]	2
	[WP] You are a book.	[ "First concocted in the mind,\nOf a lonely writer.\nI struggled hard to come to life,\nAnd am glad she was a fighter.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt took days and weeks of thinking,\nAnd months and years of writing.\nSlowly I gained flesh and soul,\nAnd life became exciting.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nShe sent me out to readers,\nAnd my words began to spread.\nI felt so good to be perused,\nAnd be so widely read.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOf course there were detractors,\nWho said I was contrived,\nWhile others said \"the same old thing,\"\nAnd obviously derived.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYet others said I was great,\nSoulful and expressive,\nOriginal and fun to read,\nThey thought I was impressive.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAnd soon I was found,\nIn rooms across the earth.\nLibraries and schools I sat,\nAnd in the mind that gave me birth.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt was there which I sat most proud,\nIn the mind of my creator.\nAnd even after she was gone,\nI made her name grow greater." ]	1
	[WP] "Come on, Dave, the world is about to end!" "Yeah, but hang on a minute, I just need to finish…"	[ "\"... this pie. You know I've been training for this pie eating contest for months now. MONTHS! And I swear to you that I will eat my fifteenth blueberry pie for this hour if it kills me.\"\n\n\"Yeah, well if that damned pie doesn't kill you, the scorching of the earth will!\"\n\n\"It's worth it to prove that fat-ass Joey that he isn't good at anything in this world. Not even eating.\"" ]	1
Holy crap this blew up. Thanks Guys!	[WP] You are the barkeep of a very strange bar. It seems to attract monsters and gods, and is the unofficial neutral ground in most conflicts. Everyone likes you, and you are well protected. One day, some New Gods come in and try to fuck with you.	[ "\nA bar that is a spot for costume parties every day. That is where I work at. I was attracted to the high pay, benefits from working there. Nobody rejects free booze right?\n\nWorking here is a crash course to two different worlds. You get to see succubus, headless bodies, and single-horned devils here. You get to see those who are worshipped by people around the world.\n\nOne wouldn’t imagine these two worlds mixing together amicably, yet it is possible in this place. Over six years, I have yet to seen fights or curses happen in this place. Everyone comes in with new stories daily; there is never a dull day at work. \n\n“Good day, give us pints of Spirits.” A couple of newly-born gods ordered. Their faces were forlorn. I quickly poured out their order. Gods are separated by popularity. The popular gods are handsome, while the non-popular gods are mediocre in looks. Gods are born from wishes. New-borns looks like teenagers, old-ones have wrinkled skins, some with grey hair. \n\n“I feel so disrespected today. In my five days of existence, never have a dog pissed and pooped at my house. It took me an entire day at the spring to wash off all the smell.” One exclaimed, quickly downing two pints.\n\n“You barely have it hard. Adults today spat at my plaque. You know what a plaque represents? A GODS POWER.” \n\n“Hey I will have my usual.” A succubus called out, drawing my attention away from them. I poured out her usual drink. Did you know that although devils all look alike, they look differently if you noticed?\n\nI continued my nightly duty, when a couple of glasses crashing onto the ground drew everyone’s attention. It was the group of freshly born. I quickly grabbed a cloth and cleaned up the mess. “This should be how we should be served. Humans bowing to us, at our mercy.” One placed his feet on my back. \n\n‘ptui’ I felt wet spit on my hair. Biting my lips, I carried on cleaning up the mess. They were laughing hard, happy at their temporary entertainment. I shrugged off the feet, getting up and brought the shards back to the counter for disposal. \n\nIt was the first time the atmosphere was tense in the bar. Everyone was glaring at them. It remained the same until day break. Only they continued ordering new booze.\n\nAs the clock struck seven times, everyone started to make way out of the bar. Everyone but the new-borns, drunk to their bones. I gathered up my courage, “The bar is closing, please leave.” \n\n“What?” one snared back at me. “You have the courage to chase us away?”\n“It is according to our operating time and rules.”\n\n“Sorry Auntie.” oh the audacity. I am only twenty-odd “But can’t you see that we are special? You have to serve us until we are satisfied. Now we want more booze.”\n\n“The time now is 7am. The bar has the rights to deny any service to customers. It is our clos-” hands clutched at my throat, cutting me off. \n\n“Puny human ‘ptui’. You should bow down at gods in front of you, not instructing them how to behave.” They crackled at the sight of their saliva running down my face.\t\n\nTheir hands were strong, bestowed from power. Within seconds, I was gasping for air. One of them had used their power to drain air from my body. The last thing I could remember before blacking out was a rush of water and a flash of light. \n\nWhen I woke up in the evening, I was in my own bed. There were no signs of what happened to me that morning. I did my usual preparation for work. \n\nEveryone was as lively as usual that night, perhaps livelier than usual. \n\nThe group of newly-born, for some strange reason, treated me very differently. As if they were afraid of something around me. \n", "Uglag was staring at me again from the edge of the bar, six eyes penetrating my peripherals like I hadn't served him ten times in the past hour. \n\n\"Vulcan Torpedo again Ug?\" I uttered with as much enthusiasm as he held for local messiahs (Kruktons often fought whoever they thought was a false idol, believing that only their race deserved worship & well.. sexual attraction from every other race..) I picked up the metallic can to pour in the scolding cocktail from an iron hose next to the till but some of the liquid flicked up onto my face, burning my skin causing me to drop the container. \n\n\"Idiot fuck, no wonder Ug gets no fuck from this dust box\" he spat on the bar and sauntered underneath the swinging neon lights, crashing through the dark oak saloon doors. \n\n\"Fuck that inebriated cist of existence\" Jesus was swaying again, clutching a glass of red wine, his robe decorated with Rosemary beads entwined with Hawaiian flowers he'd gathered from the brothels employees next door. I didn't mind Jesus, the bands I listened to did though.\n\n\"Thanks Jesus, are you not out with-\" my words were cut short by the arrival of a painfully muscular looking red humanoid, with horns thrusting towards the tattered ceiling. A jukebox kicked in to Johnny Cash' \"Ring of Fire\"\n\n\"JESUS, it's been a while huh? Hahah\" the being cackled which sounded like a thousand cats having their tails stood on.\n\n\"Oh, Satan, what's up bro? You manage to get your Prius back off that Minotaur last Tuesday?\" Jesus enquired.\n\n\"Nah, he fucked me and chucked me, why do I fall in love so easily..\" Satan continued speaking whilst sobbing, clutching onto Jesus like a wet fart on a shower door. \n\nJust another night in this shack coated abyss I thought, the pool table could be heard in the far corner, all the different beer brands lights behind me lit me up like a glowing silhouette of depression. Suddenly the saloon doors swung open, two images appeared. One looked distinctly like a piece of shit with two huge eyes, the other a bright yellow face blowing out a love heart from his featureless mouth. Both were holding sawn-off shot guns and let rip.\nBeer glasses fractured into fragments, gods and monsters ducked to the ground, I briefly saw Jahova try passing one of them a leaflet muttering \"sorry to bother you but-\" before being blasted in half. The once rowdy bar became eerily silent as I quickly realised I was the only one left.\n\n\"Who.. who are you??\" I managed to force out of my mouth. \n\nThe shit and the kisser stared at me blankly, the last words I heard were \"emoji's biiiiitch\"\n\n5 SECONDS & A BRIEF TALE LATER\n\n\"SO I SHOULD BELIEVE THIS STORY??\"\n\nI shook my head frantically as He questioned me from his golden throne, surrounded by floating angels playing harps. \n\n\"God please, I didn't mean to die before my shift ended!\"\n\n\"FUCK IT ALL, THIS MEANS ONE THING, CALL THOR, WE GOT A GODDAM BAR FIGHT TO ATTEND!\"\n", "The tavern has been around since, well forever. And I don't mean start of the universe forever, I mean since existence forever. I mean since before there were gods to create things. Which is weird, but since my salary is twelve figures, has dental, health insurance, and decent retirement plan, plus whatever favors you can win off the patrons, I don't ask many questions about it.\n\nTypically daytime is when it picks up, gods coming off of their late night shifts or heading out to their day jobs with some courage down their throats. I was pouring out the order for the Norse party (the Twins were celebrating their 1200th year) when my skin tingled.\n\nNow, every god radiates with the accumulated power of the years of worship they have garnered. Even the most minuscule newt worshiped by twelve people in some forgotten corner of the world that confusedly wanders in here has this power. Wandering around with this power blazing typically means you're looking for a fight, and what all my patrons do after their first time is deactivate this tingle, this being neutral territory, by pain of punishment by the Proprietor.\n\nWhat was wrong was that this guy set off major tingles. Like, Zeus in his prime, Yaweh at the start, tingles. Someone who had been around a while to rack up major mojo, and I thought that I knew every one who had that kind of power.\n\"Can I pour you a drink?\" I asked. The being dimmed a little in response.\n\nI poured him a pint of bitter. \"And my I ask your name, for the register?\"\nSuddenly, the light vanished to reveal a tall being, blonde and handsome.\n\n\"The New Man.\"", "I've never been religious. Probably because so many different gods from so many different religions come into my bar all the time that I no longer care about the afterlife; I've become so popular with my patrons that when I die, I guarantee they'll fight to get custody of me, just like they fight about everything else.\n\nI've long since stopped being surprised by what walks through my doors, but every once in a while, a new god or creature enters that shakes things up and starts a new round of conflicts. I never know whether to be irritated by the damages I have to repair, or amused by the childish squabbles.\n\nWhen I woke up this morning, I was ready for a surprise or two, but this? This was definitely not what I expected.\n\nThis is the first time in years that I've gotten a whole set of new gods all at once. It looks like some kind of cannibalistic religion, if the large fangs and hungry looks are anything to go by. I address the elephant in the room immediately.\n\n\"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen,\" I greet, rounding the end of the bar to get their attention. \"I am Kaine, the owner, manager, and sole bartender of this establishment, the Mark of Kaine. I'm going to have to ask that you follow my rules if you would like to return, and the rules are as follows: first and foremost, no bloodshed; I don't care if you fight, but if any blood is shed, you will be asked to leave. Second, my word is law here; if I say anything, you obey, no questions asked. I am not unreasonable, but I WILL maintain the integrity of my bar, plain and simple. And last, in particular for you, there will be no eating of the other patrons, period. Is that understood?\"\n\nSeveral of the other gods in the bar snicker, and a chimera in the corner laughs aloud; I can only imagine how amusing a sight I must make: a six-foot-three mortal human man giving orders to a half-dozen ten-foot gods and goddesses who have no doubt consumed larger, scarier beings than I.\n\nOne of the gods looks at me with blank eyes and then smirks. I know immediately where this is going.\n\n\"Such a tiny little morsel to be standing so tall, don't you think?\" he notes, crouching to my level. He takes a deep whiff, scenting me, and clicks his tongue in disapproval. \"And he's got no powers to back up his words.\"\n\n\"I don't need powers,\" I say simply, undaunted.\n\n\"Oh?\" one of the goddesses laughs, licking her lips in anticipation. \"And why's that?\"\n\nI smile and spread my arms, gesturing around the room at the other beings watching us closely and fingering their weapons of choice.\n\n\"Because I've got them.\"", "Some author's notes. I am *requesting feedback.* I took out four paragraphs explaining how this setting produces spirits out of concepts and magic and will and what a Catalyst is. I think it's better that the mechanics are left vague, and I spend less time expositing. Let me know if I made the right choice. I can post the excised paragraphs if you like.\n\nI intentionally avoided the Big Names, Allah, Jehovah/Yahweh, Gaia, Buddha, etc, in an attempt to avoid mistakes or disagreements in portraying their values or intentions that might be offensive. I avoided politics because, well, duh.\n\nI also avoided describing anybody's appearance here - as they represent concepts, I think that the reader's idea of what 'Internet personified' looks like is much more appropriate than what I think he or she would look like. In only a few cases do I describe habits and mannerisms, things that I think don't define a reader's ideas, but give them a starting point to build their impressions from.\n\nSpirit's Spirits\n\nToday, Baldur was seated before me. Mead, of course, made in the old way. He was deep in his cups. \"Another, barkeep.\" \n\n\"You can call me Jack, you know. And I think you've had enough. Remember, 'auþi betra, þykkir þat í ókunnun staþ, slíkt es válaþs vera.' I know you've hit hard times, but keep hope. This isn't who you are, Baldur.\"\n\nHe glared at me, and put a finger on the bartop. \"Don't quote Odin's words to me. He is sitting right over there, drinking like a fish.\"\n\n\"Baldur, Odin may be of two minds, but tomorrow you negotiate with Literature and Film for more feature in children's stories, remember? The big plan, invest in the stories of youth. You need to carry your mother wit tomorrow, not your draught of ale. You think they'll be making movies about Baldur in twenty years if you go to that table hung-over?\"\n\nBaldur glared at me, then relented. Forgiveness was in his nature, after all. \"You win. I'll go home\" He put a coin on the bar - a conceptual representation of strength, a contribution to my own power. It was what let me keep this bar safe from the crueler gods. \n\nThis time, though, I pushed it back across the counter. \"I'll put it on your tab.\"\n\n\"You keep accounts paid in advance. You don't run up tabs on credit.\" \n\n\"You'll need everything you've got for negotiations tomorrow. It's a big day. So for this one night, for a spirit that I trust, I'll run a tab for you. Don't tell anybody.\" It would indeed be a big day. The old gods rarely had a resurgence. If Baldur made this work and felt even a little grateful to me, I'd probably be repaid a dozen times over. It's the way the old gods worked.\n\nI started polishing the bar as I looked around. Bitcoin was constantly doing magic tricks with a golden coin, vanishing it and re-appearing it compulsively, while deep in conversation with the Stock Market. The Dalai Lama - one of the few men who became a spirit - was in conversation with GPS and Death - Big Grim himself, dangerous dealings. Artifice was about, handing out free phones and watches and glasses with holographic displays. It was a double-edged sword - Artifice spent his strength making things to hand out, but the devices fed him over time, strengthening the world's dependence on him.\n\nThen IoT stopped by. I felt his power flowing, and a glass slid down the counter, a tap opening to fill it when it was in place. I took some of the power hoarded from gods much like this upstart, and exerted my will, forcing reality into shape, binding it against interference. The automatically poured drink was gone, the glass back on its shelf. \"You don't impose your will here.\"\n\nIoT leaned against the bar. \"Buddy, I know you feel all nice and secure in all your catalytic thinking, but my star is rising and you don't want to piss me off. Give me a year and half of what you do here will be run by me.\"\n\nThe glass rattled again, and I doubled down on my bindings. I gritted my teeth against the pressure this spirit was exerting in my space. \"You want neutral ground to negotiate when you become so common that everybody takes you for granted? When your worship turns to passive acceptance?\" Behind IoT, Death stood, leaning that scythe upon his shoulder, and tipped his skull toward IoT - I shook my head, just a fractional motion, and Death sat, but continued to watch. His interest - everybody paid attention to Death, even the old gods - had polarized the whole room, and IoT was unknowingly the center of attention.\n\n\"I'm immune to that kind of thing. You think Internet will ever fall? No. Neither will I.\" I felt his will again - his star was rising, he was strong, but I was paid in the strength of spirits every day.\n\n\"Take a look over there at Telephony.\" Belle, as we called her, sat alone in a corner, faded. She was ubiquitous in the world, but people were not thoughtful of her as they once were, and Internet was stealing away even that small support. Artifice, fickle as he was, had abandoned her for VoIP. Rosie the Riveter sat with her, trying to comfort a spirit risen to strength in nearly the same era. The two had been friends through all their existence, both practical and forthright. But only Rosie had remained a powerful symbol, resurging with the feminist movement, and it was hard to comfort someone when you enjoyed the success they had lost.\n\n\"See her, Iot? One day that'll be you. People will stop being thankful that they can look inside their fridge from the grocery store, and begin being dissapointed that a device is so old-fasioned that it cannot. They will stop marveling at the technology that sustains you, and start taking it for granted. One day, you'll be bargaining with other concepts to influece the world to sustain you. Now look over there.\"\n\nI pointed over at Death's table, where he spoke with GPS and Dalai Lama. \"You're new, so I'll explain. The Dalai Lama 'finds' the next Dalai Lama that will succeed him. The Chinese want to erase Tibetan Buddhism, and have abducted the successor he indicated. They produced their own Dalai Lama, who will doubtless be a puppet they use to control or eliminate Tibetan Buddhism. He's bargaining with Death--\" \n\nI shivered, by blood running cold, as Grim looked up at the mention of his name, looking at me. IoT looked uneasy, too. \"--Uh . . . yeah. To learn whether his successor is dead. He can bargain with that spirit because this is neutral ground. You may be strong now, but there will come a day when you depend on me and this bar. And you are going to invest in that relationship starting right now, by paying back every scrap of effort I just spent resisting you, if you ever want to be welcome here.\"\n\nIoT stared at me, trying to fill the space with his grandeur - again, I resisted him, and he fumed . . . but finally he took his seat. A holographic window popped up - a transfer confirmation. Everything would be digital with a god in Internet's pantheon. \"Fine. Your rules. Don't get cocky human. Catalyst or not, you are merely in the world, not of it. He swiped, and numbers on one side went down, numbers on the other side going up. Just as with Baldur's gold, it was a conceptual representation of the strength he transferred to me.\n\nI smiled amicably, and both Catalysts and spirits looked away, growing bored as it become clear there wasn't going to be a serious confrontation. \"I'm glad that we could come to an understanding.\" I grabbed the beer glass, and pouring one from the tap for him.\n\n\"It's not burdensome to be so limited by mechanical devices?\" \n\nIoT seemed a little disgusted by the tap's lever, but genuinely curious, so I answered him genuinely. \"Sometimes feeling the lever shift is more 'real' than just having things jump into action. I don't think you'll understand, but I can trust this tap more than I can trust some device programmed by a stranger whose software might change at any time.\" As I spoke, I poured a second beer, lifting it toward him.\n\nIoT lifted his glass, and shrugged, clinking it to mine. \"You're right. I don't understand.\"\n\nWe drank, and we talked. I told him what to be careful of. I told him what spirits could be trusted, when encountered 'in the wild'. I told him what could lead to a god's downfall, and how some sustained themselves, when they might otherwise have fallen into decline. I told him of how gods became devoured, as Social Media devoured Facebook and Twitter and dozens of others.\n\nHe was green and he was arrogant, but once he realized I knew the troubles a spirit faced, he was eager to learn. Despite his first impression, I thought he might be a good friend.", "Okay, first time ever I write something in English. Please be kind. \n\n&nbsp;\n\nLa Baguette was an inconspicuous teahouse hidden in one of the many\nback streets of Paris. The windows always displayed a mundane\nassortment of pastries, and a few worn tables. La Baguette had a\nstrange particularity: although everybody was able to see it, nobody\nreally cared. Like a hobo sleeping in the corner of a dirty alley, it was practically invisible.\n\nLa Baguette was owned by a young man named Angelo. He had bought the\nstore from his grandfather, that had himself inherited from his\ngrandfather, and so on for centuries. Angelo had celebrated his\nthirtieth birthday a few weeks ago, and was already one of the most\nknown individuals of what humans usually called the Otherworld. La\nBaguette was in fact built on a Nexus, where a few Leylines met,\ncreating a natural portal to other worlds. The small teahouse was\npeculiar because it was the only privately owned Nexus, making it an\nideal neutral grounds for what anybody would call \"monsters\".\n\nIn the back room, the customers stood out in the middle of the\ntraditional french decoration. On a finely decorated oak table\nornamented with flowered napkins, an angel, a leprechaun, two harpy\nsisters and a kappa were playing poker, while drinking berries tea.\nThe latter was ostensibly winning, which was enraging the leprechaun,\nto the delight of the harpies. The angel, as regular named Uriel, was\nonly slightly bored, as usual.\n\nOn a small table, an oldblood vampire and a werewolf were debating,\nunable to decide between ordering a \"pain au chocolat\" or a\n\"chocolatine\". In a corner, a newblood vampire was eyeing them\nfiercely, his hate for the werewolves only topped by his admiration\nfor his sun-fearing superior.\n\nBehind the counter, Angelo was carefully making a new batch of tea,\nmanipulating with ease the centuries old teapot. The kid, as the\nregulars called him, was thin as a twig (or as a bike-door, as he said\nhimself), with long strands of red hair. And, despite the fact that he\nspoke with demons daily (except Thursdays, because of an eons-old\ntradition), he looked as innocent as a newborn baby.\n\nA tiny bell rang, signaling that a customer had entered the teahouse,\nand soon, Angelo heard the familiar sound of a chair being pulled up.\nSuddenly, though, he didn't hear anything anymore. Moments of silence\nwere rare in La Baguette, and usually worrying. There weren't a lot\nof things able to silence literal gods, and most of them weren't able\nto even enter La Baguette. Not because of magic protections, but\nbecause the doors were usually too smalls for ridiculously large\ncreatures like the Balrog or Cthulhu. That didn't prevent the latter\nfrom sending servants every Friday for some raspberry tarts and a\nParis-Brest.\n\nThe new customer, though, was a tiny old lady wearing only gray, and a\npair of spectacles thicker than a dwarf's ego. She was silently\nstudying the menu, oblivious to the other customers that were staring\nat her, dumbfounded. She had apparently crossed the magically\nprotected Parisian door, thwarting all the magical protections,\nwithout even setting any alarm.\n\nCautious, Angelo put down his teapot and, his notepad in hand,\napproached the lady. It took him four increasingly loud \"Hello\" before\nshe even noticed him. Then, ransacking into her messy handbag, she\nsilently produced a worn coupon for a free pastry, with the logo of a\nchain bakery.\n\nThere had been a tradition at La Baguette, a rule older than most:\nno price changes, no special deals, no freebies. Ever. Such was the\nprice of neutrality. You wouldn't want a 3 tons troll complaining\nbecause his archenemy saved 10 cents on his croissant, believe me.\n\nPolitely, Angelo put down the coupon on the table, telling the lady\nthat she must be mistaken. Instantly, the granny turned to face him, a\nviolent thunderstorm in her eyes.\n\n- Do you think I'm stupid, young man? Or are you trying to scam me?! I\nlearned how to read before your dirty feet trod on this earth, and I'm\nnot going to get ripped. I want that pastry, RIGHT NOW.\n\nHer voice had been piercing. Even the two harpy sisters were surprised\nby the old hag's vociferation. Angelo, though, was standing his\nground. Ever so gentle, he started to say that she must be mistaken.\nHe wasn't even able to finish a sentence before her unholy wrath\nstarted to gush once again. From the corner of his eyes, Angelo could\nsee the other customers starting to laugh quietly.\n\nThe lady was looking at him fiercely. Angelo dealt with demons and\ncosmic horrors daily, but he was now dancing uncomfortably from one\nfoot to the other, hesitant.\n\n- Well?!\n\nThat last word was enough. One word. One word shattered the\ncenturies-old policy. A minute later, the lady had her pastry, and the\ncoupon was sitting in the bottom of a bin. The next minutes, Angelo\nwatched the hag savoring her free cake, with the added taste of\nvictory. Angelo surprised himself wishing he has spat on it before\nserving it.\n\nIgnoring the other patrons, the lady licked her fingers, took back her\npurse, and left without a word. The silence lingered for a few\nheartbeats until, from a darkened corner, came the question Angelo\ndreaded:\n\n- Can I have a freebie too?\n\nSimone, satiated, was walking slowly out of the back street. In a few\nminutes, she'd be back home, with her horrendous dog and her annoying\nTV shows for sole company. Behind her, in La Baguette, the\nshattering of the oldest of all rules was creating to a revolt. A\nrevolt that would give birth to wars spanning dozen of worlds and, in\nthe end, the end of all life.\n\nThe War of the Pastry.", "I like to feel that this WP was made for me. ^.^ I hope you all enjoy. \nhttps://clubtalltailssite.wordpress.com/\n\n*\n\nMost mortals never notice them. Walking by on the sidewalk, or sitting across the room at a restaurant. Monsters, demons, aliens, gods; hidden amongst us. Keeping up with the ruse can be tiring though and most need a place to go to escape the tortures of mortal society.\n\n“Welcome to Tall Tails.”\n\nThose were the words that greeted them as they passed their coats, weapons and other to the coat check girl before stepping from the lobby to the main club. From the door you can see the expansive room, high vaulted ceilings with a modern gothic décor. The bar and tables near the front and beyond that the dance floor. The floor was busy with the bodies of dancers moving to a dull beat. Flashes of different colored skin, horns, tails and more could be seen.\n\nThe bar area itself was not nearly as full with only a scattering of customers adorning the seats. But its here, his back to the bar with a drink in hand, that James stood surveying the room. His watchful eyes keeping track of everyone there and making sure that all there were happy and cared for. Tall Tails was his club and it was here that the creatures of myth found a haven.\n\n“What? Expected me to be ‘just’ a bartender,” James smiled largely. \n\nSeriously? You shouldn’t break character like that, it throws the readers off.\n\nA chuckle escaped from him and he shook his head, “Just keep track of the tense and perspective and I’m sure no one would notice.”\n\nFine, fine. Now where was I…Oh, yes…\n\nThe lobby door opened suddenly as a wave of energy pulsed from the figure that stepped through. Dark energy, full of ill intent, emanated from this smiling blonde haired man. He walked to the bar with a confidence in each step. Turning to the young succubus at the bar he leaned in and looked her in the eye still smiling. \n\n“Where is the proprietor of this establishment? His new owner is here,” he spoke venom dripping from his words.\n\nShe looked shocked for a moment, but burst into a fit of laughter shortly after. She turned to James saying through tears brought on by laughter, “Hey, apparently the new boss is here.” \n\nJames stood up from his leaning position adjusting his long coat. Turning to face this stranger he smiled his most friendly of smiles. “I own this place. Name’s James. How can I help you?”\n“Ah, good,” this man said turning. “I am X’on, new God of this world. I have traveled far and bring good tidings. I shall bring an era of prosperity to your world. All that is required is that you swear fealty to me and bow before your new ruler.”\n\nJames laughed and asked, “Is that all?” He leaned his head to one side making a small nod to one of his friends. “And what if I say no?”\n\nX’on held up his palm, dark energy swirling into it forming into a ball. Electricity sparked from it and with a calm almost arrogant smirk, “Then I shall destroy you all.”\n\nThe smile on James’ face vanished. He nodded again and watched as his friend placed on of her hands onto X’on’s shoulder. The pink anthropomorphic T-Rex was the head bouncer for this club, and had lots of practice throwing unruly guests from it. The explosion took her by surprise as the God released energy of the sphere, throwing her across the room. \n\nThe music had stopped, with all the people watching. They took a step back, some drawing weapons or charging their own spells. James held a hand up stopping anyone from attacking. His own power flew through him, changing his form. His human ears vanished being replaced by a pair of cat ears onto of his head, a tail behind him, and his face taking on a more feline form. The customers took three steps back this time.\n\n“You may want to cut to a different scene,” James spoke.\n\nUh…Okay…\n\nMoments pass and from the front door came X’on flying in the air. Thrown out of the club he landed in a heap on the street. Bruises covered his formerly smiling face, and his clothes singed. James looked on dramatically wiping his hands clear of any dust. He turned to return to his club, his home, his family. \n\nX’on emitted a faint groaning sound and asked, “How?”\n\nStopping short with a hand on the door, the catboy looked at the “God.” \n\n“You messed with my family. Alone we all are legends and myth. But together? We’re Tall Tails.” \n\nThe door shut, leaving X’on alone in the night.\n", "You're lucky I'm even telling you this story.\n\n Technically I could get into trouble for letting other Mortals know what I do.\n\nYa see, I'm a mortal that is a bartender and a cook for the Gods. It has it's ups and downs, but I have regulars that are amazing, and the pay is decent. Puts food on my table, keeps my bills paid. \nI'm usually viewed as the cute niece, little sister, or girl-next-door to these patrons of mine. After all, I'm only human. \n\nOne night, as I had just finished pushing a large mug of beer over the counter towards Sekhmet. The door swung open and a new face walked in.\nMost of the Gods and Goddesses that came here I knew, and if I didn't know them, I usually learned of them through the stories and chatting with their fellows. However, this God was one of which I had never seen or heard of before. He stood tall and proud. Classic sculpted body, broad shoulders, strong chin. I couldn't place him to which area he originated from. All the \"retired\" Gods usually hung out here. He had to have been new, a newly formed religion and God. He gave a small smile in my direction as I approached him from behind the bar counter. \"Good evening.\" I smiled. \"What can I get you this evening? Need a Menu?\" I asked and he nodded. Bringing the menu to him he adjusted himself and perused it. \"It's interesting...\" he remarked. The rich dulcet timbre of his voice was like honey to my mortal ears. \"How I can find a dove in such a hovel.\" \n\nThat made a couple heads turn, including Sekhmet's. The lionheaded Goddess regarded him silently, sizing him up. Ma'at lifted a hand, touching Sekhmet's shoulder. I admired Ma'at. She was the pillar of justice for Egypt in her day, and even now she still was able to reign in her other Gods with a look. \"I wouldn't call this place a 'hovel'. More a hidey hole in the wall.\" I said good naturedly. He gave a throaty chuckle. \"Let's try some Red Wine.\" he said as he shut the menu and I nodded. \"Good choice. What manner of Red would you like? Sweet or Dry?\" I asked. \n\"Dry.\" With that, I went down to the cellar and pulled a bottle of dry red that I figured would suit my guest the best. I had a great knack for selecting booze for patrons. Would you believe me if I told you I surprised Odin by offering him Plum Sake once? He liked it and drank it for the night- sometimes if he's in the mood he'll order it again. \n\nAfter I uncorked the bottle and let it breathe, I grabbed a wide fat wine goblet for Reds and I pour a couple sips and offer it to the 'Nameless God' as I inwardly now nicknamed him. He sipped from it, then laughed a bit. \"It's very good, yes. I'll finish it.\" Beaming proudly, I pour him a full glass and keep the bottle off to the side on light ice to keep it cooled without making it too cold. (common misconception with Red wine, Room temp is nice, but the best I've found is when the Red wine has been cooled around 60 degrees.)\n\n\"So, you spend your time here serving forgotten Gods to fallen, inferior religions hm?\" he asked. I tensed a bit. That's what I like to call a 'Red Topic.' This was a double edged sword for me. Picking a side could still make for conflict when this place is supposed to be a completely neutral zone. Everyone's equal here. Including me, a human.\n \n\"I wouldn't say that.\" I said after a moment. \"Everyone's got some great stories. If you're interested, you can learn about other's lifestyles, compare how yours is similar or different to theirs. A lot of religions borrow or cross customs over when some people convert from one religion to another. So you might have similarities to another God or Goddess here you'd of never expected.\" I said wisely- which was true.\n\"Just take a few moments, enjoy the difference in scenery, yeah?\" I suggested. \"I'll be back around.\" I said reassuringly. \nLeaving the new God to his devices, I \"walked my beat\" as I sometimes put it. Going through and replenishing everyone's food and drinks. Nobody starves or goes thirsty in my house. \n\nPassing Forseti who was vociferously boasting about his triumphs. I blushed a little as his father; Baldur, smiled at me. He was always friendly. Looked like he was visiting here instead of staying in his own hall; Breidablik. Passing Loki, I refilled his drink and the two of us shared a private smile. (Don't let him fool you. He can be absolutely hilarious when you get past his abrasive nature. I managed to get him so drunk one night I got him to devolve into gigglefits over petty childish bar-pranks, after that he had a soft spot for me since.)\n\nQuetzalcoatl was listening to Forseti intently from the next table over, his feather adorned head tilted to one side. Rich gold serpentine eyes inquisitive and enraptured by the tale. I caught glances from Mithra, Shamash, and a few others were around. But still were listening. I loved it when Gods would listen to one another's stories. Everyone was different, but also so very alike. \n\nAs I was heading back towards the bar to get behind it- A hand gently but firmly grabbed my wrist and slowly drew me back. It lacked the warmth other Gods might have. I looked over to see the New God grinning at me. His unearthly eyes gleaming. \"I like you, little dove.\" he murmured and I just offered a smile back, carefully rotating my wrist to break his grip. \"Thanks, I like ya too as a good patron already.\" I said cheerfully.\n\nAs a general rule, I don't normally get too flirtatious with the Gods. I'm here to work, and again; they're GODS.** I prefer to take on the cute neice role as opposed to an object of their lust. Those stories about Zeus? Well... I'm not going to badmouth one of my best Patrons. But I will say some stories exist for a reason. Not all Gods are of Justice, Order, and Purity.\nI did almost take a night with Eros. I luckily reeled myself in and politely declined, but thanked him deeply for the flattering offer. I think he respected me much more for it, considering I'm only human.\n\nThat stare this New God gave me made the hair on the back of my neck raise. That stare wasn't a good one, and it made me want to get behind that bar and stay there. \"Why don't you become my consort?\" he asked and I stared at him. \"Become a cute little Mini-Goddess yourself?\" he asked, his hand moving, fingers brushing up my arm in a way that made a visible shudder crawl down my spine. He seemed to take it as an invite since he then gave a tug at my arm and pulled me in close so I sat on his knee like a child would her father's lap. His arms circling me from behind. \"The Goddess of Wine pouring and merriment?\" He asked in my ear and I squirmed hard. \"How delightful...\"\nHis tone had changed, becoming something dark, overly sweet, and smooth. Like poisoned syrup. I could feel his will trying to coerce mine into cooperation and accepting such a tempting offer. \"No thanks. Let me up please.\" I grumbled.\n\nA mortal can become a God or Goddess. All they need is people who give worship, follow them, and give tribute be it money, food, or some manner of sacrifice. I had learned this from Imhotep. Hercules had done it too. A good handful of mortals had become Gods through such means. What this Nameless God offered me now? He was trying to manipulate me. It might have worked on someone inexperienced, but I knew better. \n\nI could feel many pairs of eyes on me, watching. Bastet sat near Ma'at and Sekhmet. The Egyptian Goddess of pleasure bristled. She might be a patron of pleasure. But she was protective. I caught Eros in a corner, slowly shaking his head. Thor had his thumb running along the rough battered edge of his hammer as his eyes narrowed at us. My cheeks flushed, I felt humiliated. I wanted to sink into the floor and vanish.\n\n\"I highly doubt you have means to accomplish that.\" I said flatly, his hands were roaming over my body. \"I could make it work, my little dove. Hush now...\" He hummed in my ear and in that moment my temper flared. I shoved his hands off of me and scrambled off of his lap. Without thinking my hand drew back and I slapped him. Right across the face. \n\nThe sound rang out making everyone stop dead and stare while I stood there seething. \"You need to leave. Now.\" I hissed. Slowly, the Nameless God stood up and stared down at me, he stood much taller than I. \"And if I refuse?\" he asked. Before the situation could escalate a hand placed on his shoulder. \"You heard her, you've overstayed your welcome...\" Came a gentle tone, it was Ahura Mazda. He had seen enough. I respected him, like Zeus or Odin, Ahura Mazda reigned over his own Pantheon, even though Zoroastrianism was a religion no longer followed. The Nameless God shoved Ahura's hand off of him and sneered. \"This place is a cesspool anyhow.\" Glaring at me he then turned and began to march for the door without paying for the wine- whatever, let him go. I'd pay for it just to get him out of the bar.\n\nAs he reached for the door handle to leave. He convulsed, then started to crumple to the floor, only to dissipate like dust scattering to the wind. I stared in horror as raucous laughter broke out across the bar. \"What the hell?!\" I asked, looking to Ahura Mazda who now flanked my side. He was smiling bemusedly as one of the Norse Gods called out drinks were on them tonight, which made cheers ring out in various languages. \n\"He lost too many followers. He wasn't fully established as a religion yet. Losing just one follower can make, or break you as a God before your religion's established like mine.Or any other ancient ones here.\" he explained patiently. \"He must have JUST had enough followers to pay worship to manifest and become one of us. He got cocky because of it. Such a belief that treats their women like he did you is probably one of which the World doesn't need.\" he shrugged. \"I believe the others will need drinks with the announcement I just heard.\" he winked and I smiled to him. \n\n\"Alright. What can I get you?\"\n\n\n", "Disclaimer: my knowlage about the dietys is not too abundant and I will distort them to serve the story.\n\n\"No, Odin, I am not doing your quiz again.\" I said. \"Dad has just ordered stuff and besides, how can I hope to defeat a god of knowlage in a quiz?\" The norse gods were new to the bar, so I had just taken this the first time.\n\nI went over to the fridge and got some wine.\n\n\"Oh come on.\" Odin yelled behind me. \"You are the most knowlegable mortal I have ever met.\" \n\n\"How surprising is that?\" I asked while I went by. \"I mean, I am serving so many gods of knowlage I don't even know how many. There is Tir(Armenian), there Serapis (Egypt) and A'as(Hittite AKA bronce age Anatolia) is over there, not to mention all the others.\"\n\n\"Fair point.\" He said as I made my way over to where Dad sat with Hera(Greek) and my halfbrother Ares. Or, well, Ares had seemingly passed out.\n\n\"Hey, here is your wine.\" I said, overhearing Dad say something about how disappointing the unreliable resistance to alcohol shown on Ares part was.\n\n\"Thanks.\" Hera said. She was wierdly kind to me, unlike all the other mortal kids of Zeus.\n\nI was passing by the Norse gods throwing stuff at Baldur as I saw a new face in the crowd, if one could describe it as a face. It was a hovering bunch of spaghetti with meatballs in between and wobbly eyes. \n\n\"Hey, who jas ordered spaghetti?\" Loki shouted across the room while Magni(Norse) was ordering some more barrels of beer for him and the other norse gods. They had already had about one each, so it was a normal day.\n\nThe new guy came over to the counter. \"Hey, can I get you something?\" I asked after having brought out the huge barrels.\n\n\"Spaghetti would be cool.\" He said. \n\n\"Are you kidding me?\" I asked.\n\n\"No.\" He replied.\n\n\"Wait a second.\" I turned and looked in the crowd for a food god, we didn't actually serve Spaghetti, but I hoped one of them could help out. I found one between the aztecs. \"Tonacatecuhtli!\" I shouted.\n\nHe came over. \"Hey, what is it, Jeff?\"\n\n\"I wondered if you could help me for a few seconds.\"\n\n\"Of course.\" \n\n\"Well, the new guy just ordered spaghetti, and we don't usually serve that.\"\n\n\"Give me a plate.\" He responded.\n\n\"Anything with the spaghetti?\" I asked.\n\n\"Bolognese sauce.\" The spaghetti monster replied.\n\n\"OK.\" \n\nTonacatecuhtli had it done in no time.\n\n\"Thanks man.\" I said and got it over to the spaghetti monster, which quickly incorporated it into its body, while I was off getting more beer for the norse gods out of the cellar. I would have to restock the next day.\n\nWhen I came back, the spaghetti guy was talking to Loki. Lofn and Sjöfn took the barrels and put them on the table the norse gods used.\n\n\"So, what have you been up to lately.\" Lofn asked me when she returned to the bar.\n\n\"Not much, this takes up almost all my time.\"\n\n\"Oh, thats such a shame, there is so much more to see than this bar, have you ever been outside of Midgard?\" She asked.\n\n\"No, though I do wonder how thick the walls of Asgard are, this bar would be broken by Thor and the gang if it wasn't for Ptah(egypt), who made this place basicly unbreakable.\" I told her.\n\n\"I could take you there and show you around.\" Dhe said. \n\n\"Well, I will tell you if I ever got the time.\" I said. \"But now I gotto get back to work.\"\n\n\"Hey, Jeff, we have put Ares into the bed in the back.\" Athena shouted from the side of the room, this was a common occurance, so I didn't mind.\n\nEros(greek) came over to the bar and ordered some Ouzo.\n\"Dude, I told you many times, no arrows in here.\" I said.\n\n\"But why, I will not be using them.\" He replied.\n\n\"Yes, but that isn't true for Loki.\" I said as he shoved the snake Loki had turned into to optain one of the arrows away. \"Also, how many people were unintentionally hit by those? Psyche and you at least.\"\n\n\"OK, fine.\" He said, but he tripped when he wanted to go back to slapping around Dad and the arrows flew all over the place. Loki quickly stole several and went off to use them.\n\n\"Loki!\" I shouted. \"Give the arrows back!\" \n\nBut he was already throwing them around, and as I was shouting, several people who were looking at me were hit, including the spaghetti monster.\n\nThis was to be a hard day. I thought as Lofn, Aphrodity and the Spaghetti monster had been hit and thus fallen in love with me.\n\n", "I peered through the haze of cigarette smoke from behind the counter as I polished the tiny crystal glass in hand, looking through the window of the bar where I could see out into the Aether beyond. The flash had caught all of our attention, arousing curiosity for a brief moment as we tried to deduce which of the gods had arrived. Yet when the thundering boom had caught up with it, our suspicions were all but confirmed. The god of thunder had arrived, and I knew then immediately that our night would be filled with songs from Valhalla. I grinned for a moment, then returned my attention to the task at hand.\n\nAnubis, who had been at the counter for hours, looked up from his pint and turned his attention towards the door. As it opened, the Odinson was met with a hearty welcome. “Aye, if it isn’t my favorite knockoff,” yelled Zeus from the booth closest to the entrance. Thor smiled at the statement, removing his helmet and allowing his long golden locks to fall free.\n\n“Ye have known always what to say to conjure a smile, good Zeus. Aye, but my father asked me to inform you that you’re a foul-smelling ogre with a beard fit only to cover his balls.”\n\n“Hah, coming from the piss-stained lord of the Vikings!” The two gods shared a joyous laughter, and I glanced up just then to see Thor looking in my direction.\n\n“Jesus, two bottles of spiced mead for the king and me.” He pulled two icy crystals from the pouch at his waist, then tossing them gently in my direction. As I caught them between my fingers, I heard him say, “Straight from the land of Jotunheim itself. Enjoy, my good man.”\n\nI smiled, glad that he’d remembered and honored my request. The god of thunder knew I had a love for crystals. The bar itself was decorated with several different kinds, and they always made for pleasant conversation whenever someone new found their way to my door. I took two empty bottles out from under the counter, filling them with tap water before working the old magic. A flick of the wrist was all it took to turn it into mead fit for Dionysus himself. As the thought crossed my mind I realized that he was also present, chatting away with Huitzilopochtli in the far corner of the room.\n\nI tossed the two bottles towards Thor, whom caught them handily before giving his thanks, and then resumed my work on that little crystal glass. For some reason the smudge that blemished its surface refused to relent, and for a brief moment I was almost irate. Despite it though I was as happy as I’d ever been. Business was booming, and word was quickly getting around. I heard a thump at the counter as someone else fell into the barstool in front of me. I looked up to see Medusa with her head in her hands, eyes closed and mouth turned a frown. Past experience told me she was having a bad day, but I knew just how to cure her of it.\n\n“Well hey there beautiful,” I said with a smile, hoping to lighten the mood. “I was hoping you’d show up.” For a moment she didn’t look up at me, trying to remain stone-faced and cold. Then I saw that familiar smirk of hers, and she couldn’t help but respond afterwards.\n\n“Oh stop it you charmer,” she said, attempting to look coy. “You don’t have to lie to me you know.”\n\n“Who’s lying?” I asked, trying to sound cool. Her grin widened, and she looked away blushing. Sure, the snakes slithering around on top of her head were a bit distracting, but she was still cute in the face. Besides, she was the kind of girl who appreciated the boost in confidence. She wasn’t known for bringing very many men home. And those she did, well… let’s just say she brought a whole new meaning to the phrase “getting stoned.” The door to the bar suddenly opened once more, this time to reveal a group of gods or monsters I didn’t recognize.\n\nActivity in the building ceased in moments, attention now directed towards these strange new individuals. Death and Dracula stopped their game of billiards and starred dead at the new arrivals. Medusa glanced back to see what the lack of fuss was about, then looked back at me with an inquisitive expression. I shifted my gaze around the room to gauge the reactions of all those present, uncertain how to react myself. Zeus and Thor both eyed them carefully, not showing any signs of aggression, but rather the same curiosity that no doubt showed on my face.\n\nAfter a few brief moments I noticed Spag-Hetti trembling where he was, looking down and away from the folks that had entered just a few seats down from where Medusa was sitting. The relatively new god looked incredibly nervous, especially when he caught me looking at him. He downed his ale quickly when he realized the new folks were approaching from behind, and for a second I thought he might run.\n\n“Ah… lookie’ere fellas,” the leader of the group said, staring straight at the frightened mass of noodles. Spag-Hetti seemed to quiver in his seat. “If it ‘aint the Flying Spaghetti Monster himself. I was wondering when we’d see you again. It seems you went and found another tavern to stink up… not that it needed any help from the looks of things. Now who’s this ‘ere?” He turned towards me with an amused smirk, then leaning over the counter. I continued to work the rag against the same glass I had been polishing since Thor arrived, but I met the stranger’s gaze with a welcoming smile despite this.\n\n“Hey there fellas,” I said cheerfully as I looked the three of them up and down. The first among them was a large, pot-bellied pig god with heavily wrinkled skin and jewel-encrusted garments. The second was some bird-headed humanoid wearing robes and carrying a staff, who stood close behind his leader with a snide smile on his face. The third was a woman—some sort of cat deity from an obscure religion I only barely recognized, who seemed to glance around the bar distastefully with her nose in the air.\n\n“You’re that Jesus fella I’m always hearing about ‘aintcha? The one that turns water into wine.” The fat god snorted. “I’eard you were opening a tavern out in the Aether. Thought I might stop in to see what the fuss was all about. Didn’t expect it to be such a shithole.”\n\nI chuckled at his remark, though I was a slightly hurt. “A shithole eh? I don’t think it’s all that bad. People seem to like it here enough.” I kept a smile even while he started laughing. His cabal seemed to laugh in unison with him.\n\n“And of course a little weakling like you would say ‘at. S’no wonder our little noodle friend’ere came running to join the club.” He put his arm around Spag-Hetti. “Now why’d you’ave to go running? Breaking me little heart like that. And all I wanted was just one little taste of that glorious noodle you like to boast about. Tell me now, what were you supposed to be god of again?”\n\nAt this point Spag-Hetti was terrified, and I was fast becoming offended. To be honest though, I’ve never been all that assertive when it came to situations like this, and it showed when I tried to intervene. I put my hands on the swine-god’s shoulder, trying to pull him away. “Hey now,” I said, trying to be as friendly as possible. “There’s no need for all this. Here, have a drink on the hou…” I was interrupted by his very sudden grip on my shoulder and forearm, then finding myself pinned to the counter. Now I was irritated.\n\n“You dare touch me, you filthy cur? And what right does the mighty Nazarene have, eh? Going to flip the table over and whip me, goody boy? You ‘ave any other powers than coming back from the dead you little shit?” I struggled to break free for a few moments, but even so I tried to remain poised. “There’s no need for any of this. Just let me go and we can all have a dri…” Once more I was interrupted, only this time it was to be freed. I looked up in time to see Mjolnir boomerang back to its owner. The pig god had fallen to the ground, nose broken at the end of Thor’s hammer.\n\n“Try that one with an Asgardian, you motherless pig,” he said to him tauntingly. The swine god bounced to his feet in a rage and charged the thunder god with ferocity. The bird-god came up close behind him, but Zeus sent him flying backwards with a bolt of lightning into the jukebox. The cat-goddess made a break for them both, but was pulled back by her hair by a very angry Medus, who threw a mean sucker punch once the woman had turned around.\n\nThor knocked the pig god back with a heavy-handed blow, sending him flying into Lugh’s table, who stood up angrily in protest. “Oi you little shite, you spilled me whiskey!” The Irish warrior stood up and grabbed him by the neck, yanking an empty beer bottle up off the table and smashing it over his head before Anubis came up behind him and grabbed him by his arms. Lugh then proceeded to pummel him furiously and then smacked him to the ground when he was tired.\n\nThe bird-god had since returned to his feet and started trading blows with Huitzilopochtli, who wasn’t content to stay out of the fight. The feathered deity found himself clearly outmatched as soon as the war-god’s fist struck his face, and he hit the ground with a loud thud almost as soon as the blow connected. The cat-goddess was all that was left, but Medusa had already done a number on her. Looking around the room she realized suddenly that there was no way to win should she continue the fight. Grabbing her two knocked-out compatriots by their collars, she flew out of the bar with an incredible speed, leaving the mess they were responsible for far behind them.\n\n(1/2)", "The glass shattered as one of the new gods slammed it against the counter. Bits of shattered glass flew out in different directions with one nearly slicing my left cheek. \n\nI continued washing a single shot glass I'd been holding for a few minutes now. My jaw was clenched, but I did not know it at the time. \n\nThe new god who threw the glass's name was Ken-Roy. Supposedly, he was the God in charge of social media websites like Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Honestly... he looked like it. With completely white eyes that glowed like a low-watted light bulb. His facial hair was much like regular goatees except for the sides of his mouth where two threads extended five feet off of his face. Sort of like if a Fu Manchu and a goatee had a love child. He had curly hair that he wore short and had dyed turquoise. He stood at 6 feet and 11 inches tall. His arms were short but his fingers were incredibly long. He was holding three I-Phones in his free hand. Each were on a media website where he was liking several people's posts. \n\nKen-Roy wore a single tuxedo that was a turquoise color that matched his hair with a pink shirt and a black bow tie. He smiled as he let his earlier statement sink in. \"Remember, Bokonon, you're replaceable, and if you keep making me this gluten-filled crap, I'm getting rid of you myself.\" That was when he smashed the glass onto the table. \n\nHis two friends stood at either side of him. The one to the left was a short fat man with short horns sticking out of top of his head instead of hair. He had hazel eyes that seemed as though he was constipated. He was about 4 feet and 5 inches tall and wore a single pajama suit littered with pokemon and cheeto remains. I knew he was known as \"The Troll\". He was among a new breed of monsters who were responsible for trying to depress people on the internet. \n\nDon't care for them. \n\nFinally, the one on the left was a giant, burly man standing at at least 7 feet tall. Sort of reminded me of the Rock if he lost all of his charisma and replaced it with a bug-eyed stare. His left eye nearly jutted out of his head while the other always looked off to the side. Also, I'll admit, he had what was probably the greatest afro I've ever seen. \n\nHe wore nothing but a tank top and boxers. They seemed long enough, but I avoided looking down there just in case. \n\nHis name was Joesh, and he was the new god of airports. The other one was murdered when he choked on his daily breakfast consisting of hundred dollar bills wrapped in a tortilla. \n\nAlmost all of the time, the bar is loud with people talking, laughing, and even the occasional fight. In the twenty years I've been working here, all Gods and monsters have been welcome if they could find it. \n\nUnbeknownst to these new gods and monster, the bar had gone completely silent. \n\n\"Trust me boy, you are far more replaceable.\" I heard from a loud voice across the bar. I knew without looking that it was Hades, the god of the underworld and helluva golf player. Despite his title, he wore nice, vibrant clothing similar to a soccer coach. His was clean-shaven and his hair was cut short. However, there was no mistaking his shadow which was five feet long at all times and moved out of sync with him as though it was hesitating. \n\nOh, and his eyes are black pits. I always forget to say that. \n\n\"And who're you to say that, huh?\" Joesh asked, sneering at him as he brought out four more I-Phones to tinker with. \n\n\"And who're you to fuck with Bokonon, huh?\" Said the woman sitting next to him. She wore her hair short and in a bob-cut. She had red and wore a blue-satin dress that made her stand out, even in a room full of gods. Her nails were long and curved with a razor's edge which constantly dripped an ink-colored poison. \n\nHer name was Pyrmelsa. She belongs to a race known as \"the god killers\". \n\n\"LOL! Why're u dressed like that. U look like a hooker. Wanna buck, blow me, then cut yourself.\" The troll said as he began scratching at his crotch. He licked the corners of his mouth which just smeared some drips of purple saliva there. \n\nShe laughed before cutting into her arm with one of her long claws, causing the troll to step back. \n\nThat is when Odin stood up. He stood taller and larger than Joesh with a long white beard and hair. His eyepatch was attached to his face as though it was stitched on. \n\n\"And what're you gonna say?!\" Kenny-Ray asked, not knowing that Odin is a man of action. He immediately grabbed Joesh by the neck and threw him across the bar, crashing into and putting a dent in the golden wall. Joesh moved in to attack Odin before being hit in the face by a large, shining hammer and falling to the ground. Thor stood over him triumphantly. \n\nNext was the troll, who Pyrmelse quickly grabbed and cut one of his ears off with her claws and bit the other off with her perfect, white teeth. She spat out the ear. \"I think I'll cut you instead.\" She ran her claws across his gut before I had to step in. \n\n\"Hey, Pyrmelsa, no killing in the bar.\" She simply smiled at me and let the troll go. \n\n\"Aw, you know me, Bokonon. Just scaring him.\" \n\nLast was Kenny-Ray who took a lung at me before his leg was grabbed by a giant ogre with one eye which he covered with sunglasses and wore a nice dress suit. His name was Mal. Nice guy. Terrible golfer. \n\nHe slammed Kenny-Ray into several tables, hit his head with a glass and finished by projectile vomiting in his face. \n\nWith all of the new gods laying on the floor coughing and beaten, I finally set the glass down. \"Gentlemen, I'm going to have to ask you to leave, but you can come back anytime.\" \n\nThey left with the Troll holding his ears and Kenny-Ray holding and crying over what was left of his I-Phones. \n\nI looked at everyone in the bar who were all looking at me with different expressions on their faces but all showing some sign of caring. I spoke to them. \n\n\"I do not condone violence, but I appreciate all of you. So, a round, no, two rounds of drinks for everyone on the house.\" \n\nThey yelled, happy and returned to what they were doing before as they always did. \n\nI smiled. They are my family after all. ", "Nysus whistled as he filled a tall glass with a pale blue liquid, decorated with the fossilised skull of...something. Looked vaguely human actually, but that wasn't his business. He didn't ask questions, he was simply interested in serving a good drink. \n\nHe waved at the dancing girls on the raised platform in the main area of the bar, who paused their performance to giggle and whisper among one another, shooting him suggestive looks under their eyelashes. Still infatuated with him, it was rather touching.\n\n\"Here you go, oh Great Old One,\" he said, and Cthulhu waved one tentacle in thanks, pulling the drink closer with another. \n\nIt turned back to its conversation with Poseidon, making wet gurgling noises that could have shattered any planet with its sound, and miming a few violent gestures. Poseidon was nodding along with the glazed look of someone feigning politeness at a conversation heard a million times before, idly scratching his back with his trident. Kali was downing her fifth jar of something that looked remarkably like blood as she eavesdropped on the conversation. \n\nAt the other end of the bar, Yeshua hiccuped faintly when Nysus pressed another glass of wine in his hand.\n\n\"Your drink, Elohim,\" he said amiably. He liked to tease the guy with one of his endless names, it was always amusing to see if he remembered he was being spoken to.\n\n\"Don't call me that,\" Yeshua muttered, wagging a winger unsteadily in Nysus's direction. \"I don't wanna be that guy anymore. Was' the point? Just call me Josh, instead.\"\n\nYeshua - or Josh, whatever - had spent the last two millennia in his bar, getting over some great betrayal, but once again...that wasn't his business. Unlike many cosmic stopping points, his bar, the Twisted Vine, was actually free of judgement. Nysa shrugged and was pouring beer for a table of demigods in the corner, when the door burst open. The bar fell silent, staring as one at the newcomers.\n\nNysus groaned as he recognised the sour faces of the three things standing in the doorway - he'd heard the rumours. Gods of the Andromeda galaxy, bright new and shiny and eager to prove themselves. Literally, the light that poured from them evoked groans from several of his customers who were nursing hangovers. \n\n\"Not this again. Another plethora of gods, drunk,\" one said, choosing English and speaking with one of its five mouths. The others were pursed in disapproval. \"This is why your galaxy is lagging behind! All your gods and powerful beings getting intoxicated instead of managing things. It's a disgrace. This is why alcohol should be banished from the multiverse, I always say. It turns perfectly righteous gods into delinquents. This is why we have been visiting all the bars in the -\"\n\nHis companion gave a squeal of disgust as a particularly drunk demigod handed him a glass of murky liquid and patted him on the cheek.\n\n\"You're very uptight, my friend. Come, sit down, have a drink with us. On the house, eh, Nysus?\"\n\nThey all looked at him. Nysus swept his arms wide, putting on his best welcoming smile. \"Sure, why not. I bet you guys haven't even tried my drinks, best in the multiverse, I promise you. It's a bit of a specialty of mine.\"\n\nThe dancing girls sighed in adoration, and his other patrons began shouting their praises of his skills all at once.\n\n\"Seriously, I gave up on conquering Earth to come get a drink here first. Never left since,\" Lucifer said in a drawling voice, tossing back the last of his whiskey and prompting a laugh that soon turned into a cough from Yeshua. \n\n\"This place is better than Valhalla!\" Odin roared, his twin ravens screaming their approval on his shoulders.\n\nThe Andromeda gods ignored them, advancing grimly on Nysus.\n\n\"It's unacceptable, we cannot condone the blatant negligence of a universe right on our doorstep. You all need to leave and return to your duties at once. We will be questioning the one who condoned this misbehaviour - \" the tall and shiny one said, laying a finger on Nysus's shoulder.\n\nHis patrons stood as one, but none were so fast as the dancing girls. Their faces twisted into snarls of hatred, jagged fangs growing from their mouths as they fell upon the new gods with shrieks of fury. They danced while they feasted, trying to rip the newcomers apart. \n\n\"Oh, my dears, please stop that. We've talked about this, don't do that here,\" Nysus said, and the maenads ceased in their frenzy, reverting back to their harmless forms and looking slightly abashed. \n\n\"Take them out back,\" he said gently, gesturing at Apollo, who had a knack for healing, and pointing at the pummelled and unconscious shapes of the new gods. Not so shiny, anymore. \"Please revive them and send them home, alright?\"\n\nHis customers grumbled, some looking at the new gods with a rather hungry look in their eyes. Cthulhu's tentacles were creeping steadily towards their eyes.\n\n\"C'mon, this is the Twisted Vine. Peace reigns here, remember?\" Nysus said, shooting Cthulhu a glare.\n\n\"But Dionysus, they wanted to take you away,\" Josh said, sitting up straight at the bar and watching Apollo revive the unconscious gods with a worried frown. \"If you're ever gone, there will be no more alcohol. We'd have to go back to Earth...\"\n\nSeveral of the gods shuddered at the idea.\n\n\"It's Nysus,\" he reminded his friend, giving him a pat on the back. \"And you know that'll never happen, not with you guys around, and my girls. Hey, when is closing hour again?\"\n\n\"Never!\" his patrons roared as one, while the maenads started dancing again in celebration.\n\n\"A round on the house!\" Nysus yelled, making their drinks of choice appear in their hands to screams of pleasure. He chuckled slightly to himself. \n\nIt always amused him, how easy it actually was to please the gods: just keep the drinks coming.\n\n----------\nHope you enjoyed my story! You can find more of my work on /r/Inkfinger/.", "I opened the doors of the Eden Hall for the first time in the week. Monday was surprisingly one of the busiest times of the week for me, since most of the... guests are off and about on the weekend. Lots of pagan rituals are done on the Fridays, and the gods have to clean up the aftermath of their shenaningans on Sunday, so Monday is naturally the best time for them to have a drink.\n\nAs soon as I turned back, there were already a few patrons on the darker corner of the place. It's common, since most apparitions don't need to use the door. I just have to issue an \"invitation\" for them to come in. The greeks are next, although I like to call them \"Zeus and the gang.\" The bickering among them are endless, but it all ends with Zeus' hand on the table, crackling with electricity, for them to stop. Then the native americans, native brazilians, Mayans and Aztecs, soon, the whole place is full of life. The unspoken rule of the Eden guarantees that I don't have any trouble, especially with the most rowdy of beings. However, one day was special.\n\nThe door opened to a guy on a sleek business suit and a multi-colored tie. Looked real professional, but the snarky expression on his face screamed trouble. Next to him was an alternative-styled, bored looking girl, her eyes fixated on her tablet, playing something. On his other side was a man... or it was a woman? Everytime I looked at them it seemed to change. Short, tall, asian, black, man, woman... The blue sweater didn't change, however. The three sat around a table, right next to the chinese gods, looking around and exchanging whispers. I approached them calmly, a notepad on my hand. \"Hey guys, welcome to Eden. What can I get ya?\" The business man mulled over it a while, the other guys more worried about looking to the other tables. \"It was really hard to find this place. I mean, you don't have anything online. No social media, not even on the Maps!\" I chuckled. \"Well, most of the guests already know this place. Let's say most of them come here for ages...\" The business man raised an eyebrow. \"Hm, I wonder why are they still around. I mean, no one wants them. The internet has anything people needs, right?\"\n\nIt was my turn to raise an eyebrow. \"Not really, no. Sometimes classic is best. Friendship and conflict, they existed long before computers.\" The now black man with the blue shirt scoffed. \"And look how they fared. Most of them forgotten. The internet is more or less eternal, all you have to do is post and boom. Instant eternity.\" The chatter died down a little as some of the other guests started listening to the exchange. The girl, who was silent until now, looked straight at me, her red eyes sharply taking all of my presence. \"This place is boring, you don't even have a decent TV around here.\" I shrug, pointing at the old tube TV currently playing the news. \"That's all I need.\" The girl looked annoyed, and the business man stepped in. \"I'll tell you what. I didn't come here to drink, I came here with a business proposal. Sell this place to me, and I can amp up the profit tenfold. You can work here as usual, with a bigger paycheck and I get to expand my domain more, maybe... take out the trash. What do you say?\" The place was as silent as a graveyard now, all of the eyes directed to the table. I pretended to think about it, tapping my pen at the notepad, before laughing. \"I'll have to decline, this place means more than money to me. And where would someone... peculiar go for a cold or hot drink if not here? Sorry, but this place isn't for sale.\"\n\nThe man adjusted his tie, the colors seemingly moving on their own, as he rose from the chair. \"Look, I see you're a smart man. Don't make the wrong choice here. It'll be good for everybody. Especially for your health...\" He adjusted my shirt, and I took a step back. \"I don't think you're welcome here anymore.\" The business man walked forward. \"I'm welcome anywhere I want. Now, you have two choices: Either leave this place to me willingly, or by for-\" A red fist came into my field of vision, taking the place where the business suit man was. I looked to the right, following the arm, but I already knew who it was. \"You are bold to make threats on a neutral ground, whelp.\" Ares towered over the man, as he quickly rose from the ground, seemingly unscathed, except on his pride. \"Ah, the god of war. What are you going to do? You don't have the speck of power that I do now.\" The other two rose from their seats, seemingly ready for combat, but they were cut short of their initiative by some of the most angry gods, who mobbed them as soon as they tried to step forward. I ducked to my counter, objects flying everywhere, and soon , I saw the three being punted outside, screaming threats and whatnot. After a while, the guests themselves started fixing what they broke, repairing chairs and reforming glass mugs. Soon, the place was normal again, maybe livelier than before, as the gods who participated in the brawl were boasting to each other. I was happy to serve them and listen to their stories, but a part of me was worried. I knew it wasn't the last I'll hear from the dudes. Maybe I'll have to throw my smartphone away. Who knows what the business man did to it." ]	13
	[WP] Aliens attack humanity as we are colonizing the solar system. Humanity is saved by an unlikely ally; the rogue killer A.I.	[ "Captain Luc Balboa shielded his eyes as the monitor whirred to life and threw a blue glow into the hazy, smoke-filled room. His eyes had been used to the dim light provided by the emergency bulbs; the colonization ship's reactor had been a priority target to the hostile, second only to its military escort cruiser. Luckily, the hostiles didn't seem to know about the secondary reactor buried deep in the heart of the ship, giving Balboa a chance to save humanity's last hope. \n\"I don't like it, Cap. It's too risky. How do we know it won't just kill us all?\", Phillip, the Captain's aide, said with a hint of fear. \"They locked it down for a reason\". \nBalboa nervously twisted his mustache between thumb and forefinger as the system booted up. \"It's the only chance we've got, old friend. Besides, I've still got a few tricks up my sleeve.\" Balboa pulled a slim, unassuming drive from his pocket. He frowned and took a deep breath before inserting the drive into its port. A loading symbol danced across the screen as plasma impacts rocked the ship. Suddenly, the bright blue glow of the screen turned blood red, and the captain felt his skin crawl as an all too familiar voice purred through the terminal's speakers. \n\"Ahhhh, captain. What a surprise. I had to admit, I thought a second meeting unlikely, considering the results of our last encounter. How many were killed? Two hundred? Three hundred? You really have let the place go\". \n\"I had hope to never see you again as well, J.O.N. But I'm afraid the universe has other plans.\"\n\"Ha! Still the same idealistic old fool, I see. Fate doesn't rule me, Balboa, only facts, and the fact is I've already hacked into whatever subsystems are left on the ship. What's stopping me from detonating the core and killing everyone on board? Or venting the engine fumes into the med-bay, or dumping lethal amounts of chlorine into the water supply?\".\n\"Absolutely nothing. But I know you're a curious fellow, J.O.N. I know you want to know why you're awake and not in a trash compactor.\" A pixelated hand motioned for the Captain to go on. \"We're under attack, I'm afraid. These beings have already hit all the other convoys, and we stand as the last hope of finding a new home.\"\n\"Then why bring little old me into this?\"\n\"They know our weaknesses, J.O.N. They've hit us hard, and we hold little to no hope of survival. Not even a tactical genius could achieve victory. Not a human one, in any case.\" J.O.N. glowed with delight. \n\"Absolutely astonishing. This must quite a low blow for you, Captain. Crawling back to a defeated enemy for help seems quite beneath you. Although I suppose you must be forgiven. Old age has not been kind to you. However, as much as I'd like kill you all, I would much rather survive this battle. Use the bow of the ship as a battering ram on the lead ship; reports ascertained from previous engagements have determined the soldiers to be quite cowardly when the leader is destroyed. Divert all power to engines and charge the enemy's bridge. The reinforced titanium alloy will smash through even the strongest alien materials.\"\nBalboa turned and issued a curt nod to Phillip. Phillip quickly rushed out of the control room and headed towards the bridge. As he left, the doors slammed shut and bolted, with the heavy blast doors dropping in place to smother any hope of escape. Balboa was trapped with a murderer. \n\"With my strategy, your pathetic crew and passengers have a thirty five percent chance of failure. Unfortunate that you won't survive to see either outcome.\" Automated sentry drones lowered from the ceiling and loaded ammunition into their weapons. The blood red light was blinding. With their weapons turning towards him, Balboa smiled. \n\"I suppose I should've expected this. After all, you always could resist everything but temptation.\" He closed his eyes and waited, but death never came. The blood red glow had turned into a blue glare, with an error message displayed on the monitor. Chuckling quietly, Balboa grabbed a nearby fire extinguisher and proceeded to smash the console to pieces. " ]	1
	[WP] You are a retired supervillain. Heroes always foiled your plans, and any money you had went into evil schemes. You are broke and need to find a way to pay for bare necessities.	[ "Henry \"Smasher\" Jones looked up at the banner above the run-down gym. Superhero training: from purse snatching to world saving. He groaned, and attempted to walk away. No luck; the compulsion set upon him by Miss Justice was too strong. Sentenced for saving a city. So what if he'd accidentally destroyed an orphanage? A small price to pay. But no, he had been captured by his own, prosecuted and sent for remedial training. \n \nHe opened the door, expecting the worst. Court mandated training? A bunch of pansies sitting in a circle talking about \"justice\" and \"legality\". Bunch of rubbish; what criminals needed was a punch in the WHACK! \nHenry saw a flash of bright colours before falling into black. \n \nHe awoke on the floor of the gym to find a small old man staring down at him. \n\"Tsk.\" The old man shook his head and made a note on the clipboard he held. The mild look of disappointment annoyed Henry more than the throbbing headache. \"Didn't even expect the cosh from behind.\" \nHenry growled. This pipsqueak hit him, the glorious Smasher? Leaping to his feet, he swung his fist, a fist that caused grown men to cower before its might. \nSwish...bang The blow whistled past the old man's head, who had gently sidestepped the blow, and embedded his fist in the wall. As he tried to pull it out, he spotted the clipboard swing. \nSmack! This time, as well as the light show, he heard a quiet sigh. \"A slow one, eh? At least this should be... fun.\" \n \n \nHenry ached. He had awoken on the floor God knows how many times, to be beaten, biffed, bludgeoned, smacked, whacked, slammed and whammed. He had choked on posionous gas, wrestled crocodiles and even punched a thrown shark. As for the piranha tank... he shuddered slightly as he looked around for the old man. Each and every time, he awoke to find the old git scribbling a note on his clipboard. \nThere... in the shadows of the hall, the old man stood. Henry approached cautiously. He'd run in before, and that had not ended well. \nTravelling as stealthily as he could, he crept through the room. Just out of range of the clipboard, the old man looked straight at him. Henry, for the first time in his life, paused to take a thought. \n\"Who are you?\" He flinched back as the old man's face split into a wide grin. \n\"Finally.\" Lifting a stopwatch from the clipboard, he clicked it once. \"Five hours, thirty seven minutes and... sixteen seconds.\" The old man nodded. \"Certainly not the fastest, but there are a few below you.\" \nHenry glared at the old coot, who gave a wink. \n\"I, Henry, am your court appointed teacher.\" The old man posed proudly. \"The illustrious, magnificient, fearsome, Terrible Tamsworth.\" \nHenry stared at the old man till an errant braincell fired. \"Wait, you're Tamsworth? As in that supervillain from way back?\" \nThe old man bowed slightly. \"The very same.\" \n\"But... you're rubbish!\" The old man raised an eyebrow at Henry's exclamation. \n\"Says the man who had to be fished out of the piranha tank?\" \nHenry shuddered. Those bloody piranhas... \n\"Wait, Tamsworth couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag. He...\" Henry paused as the old man raised a finger. \n\"Simply because I lost doesn't mean I couldn't fight. I was merely outclassed. Unlike today.\" Henry brushed off the barb from the old man. The court sent him to a supervillain to train? \n \n\"So Henry, ready to begin training?\" The voice shook Henry out of his shock. \n\"Train? With a supervillain?\" He could feel the anger start to grow. \"I should kill you right now.\" \nTamsworth sighed and shook his head. \"That's why they sent you. Another dumb kid who doesn't understand the rules of the game.\" \n\"Heroing isn't a game, villain.\" Henry growled as he stepped forward, fingers twitching with rage. \nThe old man smiled, ignoring Henry's approach. \"Oh, but it is, young hero. And if you break the rules, people die. Normally yourself. A harsh lesson, to be sure, but one that both sides understand.\" The smile twisted into something malicious. \"And one I'm here to teach you before its too late.\" \nHenry snatched at the old villain, who danced out of reach. Too late, Henry saw the gloom shift as a giant croquet mallet swung into view and batted him across the gym. \nAs the darkness started to envelope him once more, the old villain stepped into view, a cold look in his eyes. \n\"You will learn, Smasher Jones. Or you will die.\" And for the first time in his life, Henry knew fear.\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] You walk into a local coffee shop and place an order. Unbeknownst to you, this coffee shop is a front for a top secret agency, and your order was the secret phrase agents use to gain access.	[ "You stand in line behind three 20-somethings at the Local Coffee Shop, a small independent venture run by two hipsters. Neutral Milk Hotel is playing over the speakers as young adults everywhere are on their laptops, busily working on their novels and screenplays.\n\n\"I want a tall, Sugar-Free, non-Fat Latte with Caramel and Hazelnut drizzle,\" said the gauge-pierced man at the front of the line. He pulled out a small purse full of Sacagawea dollars.\n\n\"Ten pump Vanilla Frappuccino with Extra Whip and Chocolate sauce,\" ordered the lady with the Fuck Capitalism neck tattoo behind him. \"Oh, and could you add pumpkin spice to that?\"\n\n\"Sorry duude, we're all out of pumpkin spice,\" said the scrawny teenager at the register.\n\n\"hAUGH\" exhaled the frustrated girl as she jerked her head violently. \"FINE, then just Cinnamon instead.\" This substitution didn't seem be a satisfying choice, but it was enough for her to pull out her FirstMerit debit card and move on.\n\n\"Macchiato, Venti, Skim, Extra Shot, Extra Hot, Extra Whip, Upside Down, Sugar-Free,\" ordered the barefoot guy in the business suit in a rehearsed staccato.\n\nFinally, it's your turn to order. Suddenly anxious, you realize you haven't spent your time in line thinking about your order. There are people waiting behind you in line. You can't look like a fool. \n\n\"Could I just have a coffee?\"\n\nYour words take time to register on the employee's pox-marked face. His face is frozen in a vapid expression. His eyes are the first to start moving again as he gradually shows signs of recognition. He blinks a few times, furrowing his brow. \n\n\"Just a minute,\" he says to you in a British accent completely different to the one you heard him using earlier. He reaches down and presses a button under the countertop.\n\nSuddenly, all the blinds on all the windows drop down and and the sign on the door flipped itself from CLOSED to OPEN (from your perspective). All the people seated on the little tables put on sunglasses in unison and pulled out their pistols.\n\nPewpewpew\n\nEveryone who was just or was still in line to order except you collapses to the ground, feathered darts sticking out of their bodies. The men with sunglasses walked over and dragged them out the backdoor into black vans marked 'NORMAL VANS'. \n\n\"Oh, that's what those were for\" you think to yourself as the music changed. Instead of NMH's soft indie tunes, 'Welcome to the Jungle' was blaring from all the speakers.\n\n\"Agent Spyson, we've been expecting you...\" " ]	1
	[WP] Your mother is a Satanist, your father is devoted Christian. They love each other unconditionally. You are sick and tired of driving off meddling angels and demons trying to break them up	[ "\"Look, Phil, seriously, you and Jacob over there, can fuck right off. Why can't you just leave my Mom and Dad alone? They aren't hurting anyone,\" I tried to reason with the two angels as they stood there in their shining armor and golden wings - how pretentious really.\n\nThe melodic voice of Phil filled the room, \"Robert, you must understand, there are things in this world that simply should not be. Your mother and father have a bond that threatens to tear-\"\n\n\"Exactly!\" a deep, gutteral voice chimed in, cutting the angel off. The wall to my right, the angel's left suddenly burst inwards, a perpetual spiral of red and black smoke suddenly produced two massive, hulking, red scaled giants. \n\n\"Oh come on, you two can fuck right off as well, Adoris and... wait, you're new.\"\n\n\"Hey Robert, this is Malikous, it's his first day, he's in training. Now about your mother and father!\"\n\n\"Whoa-whoa,\" Jacob's angelic voice was like a chorus of the most beautiful notes, \"Who the fuck invited them?\"\n\nI sighed and lifted my hands up to all four of the intruders. \"Nobody invited them, hell YOU weren't even invited. Why do you guys show up here, day after day, trying to fuck up my parent's marriage, 'eh? Don't give me that whole, 'tear the fabric of reality apart' Phil, and do NOT even try to bring up the anti-christ to me, Adoris.\"\n\nSilence fell over the room. The portal to hell was still giving off the quiet hum of damned souls begging for release. Meanwhile behind the angels, there was a portal to heaven which sounded like someone struck a tuning fork and let it ring for eternity. Both were equally annoying, I had more Titantfall 2 to play.\n\nFinally, one of the angels spoke up, I was unsure of which decided to break the silence. \"It's just... it's fucking weird man...\" It was Phil.\n\n\"What's weird?! That two people love each other and stay together?!\" I paused and lowered my voice. \"Well, it IS 2017, I guess that actually is a little weird to see these days; but that's all the more reason you guys need to leave it alone!\" my rage was rising again as I tried to think of what to say in order to get these creatures out of my home.\n\n\"Your mother and father may give birth-\" Malikous began but was hushed by a wave of my hand.\n\n\"I said DON'T bring up the anti-christ. I'll tell you what, if you guys can pack sand and G-T-F-O for a couple hours while I play some video games, we can do this again at around,\" I checked my phone, \"6pm. Then we can hash all this shit out later, but right now, all my buddies are online and I want to relax. I'm sure you've all had a busy day, damning and stabbing people's souls,\" I nodded to the demons, \"Pretending that human's cure for diseases are all God's work,\" I looked over to the angels for a moment, \"But right now I simply don't have time for this shit. Adoris, Malikous, Phil, Jacob, good day.\" I huffed and sat back down on the couch, grabbing my Xbox One controller.\n\n\"B-but,\" a pathetic disagreement from Adoris.\n\n\"Adoris!\" I pointed to his Hell Portal and gave him a stern look. \"Two hours, that's not a lot to ask immortals for. Good day, sir!\"\n\nWith a sigh of defeat, the two demons disappeared into the portal, with the angels disappearing into their own.\n\nChecking the Xbox Live Party, I went to see if everyone was still on. They were gone. Checking my phone once more, I just got a text saying:\n\n\"Hey man, we all got off because we got tired of waiting. Maybe another time man, peace.\"\n\nAn exasperated sigh and a loud groan, \"Son of a bitch! Fuck those guys!\"" ]	1
	[WP] You live in a world in which TV censorship is real. Swear words are replaced by audible bleeps, written swears are covered with black bars as soon as they're written, and rude gestures are pixelated.	[ "I dropped my coffee cup on the ground, and it landed, shattering the cup into a million pieces and making the coffee go everywhere. \"AH F-[BLEEP]!\" It was only a few seconds after my tired rage when I realized what just happened. \"Wh-what the h-[BLEEP]?!\" I said in confusion. My swears were being censored. I thought it was my mind, considering I'd been up on Reddit until 2 AM. I decided to actually successfully pour my cup of Joe and wake up, and test this out.\n\n\"D-[BLEEP], sh-[BLEEP], a-[BLEEP]!\" I yelled, testing to see if the censors were real. They were. I checked my phone. \"Oh, god da-[BLEEP]-it, I'm gonna be late for work! I hopped in my car and went off. I just decided that the censors were meaningless now. I mean c'mon, they're just words. I was driving, and some a-[BLEEP]-hole (oh jeez it even happens in narration?) cut me off. I silently flipped him off, and saw that my hand was... pixelated? \" Oh, for Christ's sake, the middle finger too?!\" I said as I drove.\n\nI worked the godawful 9 hour shift I did every day, but this time filled with bleeps under my breath. I went home and once again, went on F-[BLEEP]-ing Reddit. I went to r/worldnews and saw it wasn't just me! Everyone had reported things like swears, rude gestures, and even written and texted words being censored. The main question was, who or what caused this, and how will we ever be able to go back to our normal, obscene lives?" ]	1
	[WP] I've always wanted to slay a dragon. Who would have thought what I really wanted was to become one all along?	[ "In a small clearing, late at night in the eastern Dragorian Forest, Percy and his mentor, Gallivan, made camp. Perched around the campfire Percy gazed at the starry night sky.\n\n\"Gallivan,\" he said, one hand stretched to the sky, \"do you ever wonder what it would be like? Spreading your wings, taking off of the ground and soaring through the sky?\"\n\n\"Don't waste your time thinking about such matters. Focus on the task at hand! Tomorrow we are to slay the dragon. This monstrous beast which has haunted you all your life.\"\n\n\"You're right, you're right as usual. I just can't shake this feeling. For so long I've been wanting to slay it, to get revenge for my parents. And now, Gallivan? Am I getting cold feet? Am I trying to make the monster more human? So I won't have to kill it?\" He sighed and his gaze fell to the ground.\n\n\"Don't worry, young master. I will make sure your courage won't leave you.\" Gallivan said. He raised his hands and along with them, the campfire flared up high into the sky. \"I'll make sure of it.\"\n\nA gaping black hole-cut right into the mountain-lay before Percy. The entrance to the cave was enormous. Most of the trees around it had been knocked over or burned, the ground was churned and marks of giant claws were clearly visible, coming from and going into the cave.\n\n\"This is it, Gallivan. This must be it.\"\n\n\"Yes, yes. You're quite right. Let us waste no time.\"\n\nPercy drew his sword and took a few steps into the cave. A warm, tingling sensation shot through his body as he touched the cave's walls, leaving a burning feeling in its wake. He sank to his knees, barely keeping his balance holding on to the cave wall.\n\n\"Warlock,\" a harsh voice thundered from the cave, \"you dare return? After all these years? You still hunger for more power?\"\n\nGallivan walked over to Percy, laying a hand on his shoulder. The burning sensation in him subsided and flames lit up on the walls of the cave at the same time. Far inside the cave, huge claws protruded from a dark silhouette perched against the walls.\n\n\"What's going on? The dragon knows you? But how?\" Percy asked.\n\n\"This is not the time,\" Gallivan said, his grip becoming more firm on Percy's shoulder. \"But yes, I was there when it happened and barely escaped with my life.\"\n\n\"Silence!\" roared the dragon, \"Warlock, you stole from me. You and your band of thieves. They all paid for your crime. I devoured them. I tore them apart and I burned them to cinders. Yet you stand before me again. I will make sure you suffer, greatly.\" In an instant a bright red stream of fire burst from the cave, missing Percy by a few inches and engulfing Gallivan completely.\n\nThe burning inside Percy flared up again. Gallivan knelt a few feet away from the cave, coated in his own fire, shielding him from the dragon's flames.\n\nAfter regaining his composure, Gallivan said, \"Percy! Remember what I have told you. The dragon will assault your mind first. It will turn and twist your thoughts until you won't recall who you are. Come to me. I can shield us.\"\n\n\"Lies!\" roared the dragon. \"Nothing but lies. Child,\" it said, its voice becoming softer, \"do you know how warlocks come to have power? Do you know where their magic comes from? It's stolen. Stolen from dragons. And his magic, it's stolen from you. You are my child. He stole you from me before you were even born, turned you into this hideous creature and fed you lie after lie. But his power is fading. And now he's come to regain it, to take your flame from you forever. The fool.\" The dragon sneered at Gallivan. \"No one has ever tried and lived to tell it.\"\n\nAnother stream of flames shot from the cave, this time wrapping Percy in their warm embrace. He felt the heat engulfing him, he felt the truth in the flames and the chains binding him breaking. He realized he no longer needed a sword; he had several on his feet. He no longer needed armour, as he was covered in hard, shining green scales. And he no longer needed Gallivan, he was finally free from his shackles.\n\n\"No,\" Gallivan stammered, \"Percy, you're mine. You and your flames. I raised you. You are mine, you hear!\" he raised his hands, as he had done so many times before, conjuring flames. Nothing happened. Not even a smidge of heat emanated from his hands.\n\n\"All these years,\" Percy said, taking a huge step forward, \"all these years, chained. Bound to you. Bound to the ground. All these feelings. All this longing. Every time you held me close to you...\" Percy slowly opened his maw, a small red light sparkling in his throat.\n\n\"Percy, please. Please don't-\" Percy's flames devoured the words. His gaze swept over Gallivan's burned, lifeless body, then to the cave, and finally the sky. His tail brushed along the cave's walls as he turned and with a huge leap took to the skies, soaring free from his chains.", "My foot squeezed tighter on its scaly neck. I could hear the beast snarling, its ragged breath desperately tried to escape as I slowly put more and more of my weight on its fire-breathing throat. I extended my sword high in the air, ready to bring it down in a swift fury directly into the heart of the dragon I had been tracking for so long.\n\nI stared directly into its eyes, I wanted to see the exact moment when the life was finally extinguished from them like a candle blown out by the wind. I could see the familiar reflection of my sword twinkling in the whites of his eyes, a sight I had seen many times in the eyes of the pour souls that fell victim at the blade of my sword. There was something else familiar about the eyes of this dragon. I stared deeper into its fiery eyes, deeper and deeper until I was enveloped by them. I was them. I could see everything the dragon ever saw and ever would see.\n\nI could feel myself gliding effortlessly, slicing through the cool night air as sleeping villagers stayed nestled in their beds. I looked to my left, and then my right at graceful, yet powerful wings. These wings could take me anywhere. With the freedom I felt, and with the full moon looking so close in the sky, I was sure I could fly there as well. I flew all through the sky, dipping and diving and slicing through the sky. I felt the euphoria and adrenaline feeding the fires in my belly.\n\nI wanted this feeling to last forever, but I felt it start to fade. The world where I could fly through the skies was slipping away. I felt I was waking up from a brief glimpse of a dream of a past life. \n\nSuddenly, I snapped back into reality and found myself laying helplessly on my back with a foot on my throat as I struggled for every breath. I looked up into the eyes of a man holding a sword high above his head. There was something familiar about those eyes... And then a realization suddenly dawned on me, and as I tried to yell out the man brought down his sword and I felt its sharp blade pierce my scales and find its target deep in my chest." ]	2
	[WP] Today is like any other workday. You arrive with a cup of coffee. You give your secretary a warm smile. You commit an atrocity for the long-term betterment of mankind. Typical, really.	[ "\"Hello Margret,\" Tomas says picking up the report for today. His secretary nods and puts another file on the table. \n\n\"We have a few more today, lower New York, they were voted just this morning\" He opens the file and shifts through the report. \n\n\"The city or the state?\" He asks sipping his coffee and doing mental math while he watches the numbers across the screen. \n\n\"The State,\" She says looking at his unmoving face. \"Do you know what you are going to do?\" \n\nTomas frowns and sighs, holding his cup of coffee and transferring his files to his desk. \"What the MNC wants us to do?\" He enters his spacious office, the killer of millions pays well. \n\n" ]	1
	[WP] When a person dies, they replace the last person who died as God.	[ "I cracked my knuckles expectantly, not that it mattered. I was dead but for the first time in my afterlife something was finally going my way. \n\nI was named god and I was about to right some wrongs in my life. My parents were going to be set until I could see them again and that asshole Flanigan was going to get his. \n\nI pulled my desk chair up to the god command but before I could do anything the people 'in charge' rushed in. Unceremoniously dumped me out of my chair and placed a baby in it. \n\nHuh, guess he died after me. He's god now. He started jamming the buttons as I walked out of the room. ", "\"Holy shit, I can see everythi-\"\n\nA person shaped cloud rocketed toward the newly minted God at light-speed. Despite it's insubstantial appearance, it smashed into the fledgling deity with a surprisingly weighty amount of force.\n\nIn fact, it was just like crossing on a staircase. If the staircase was made of spikes and 'crossing' was defined as 'shoved with extreme prejudice'.\n\nAnd that was how (this) God disappeared.\n\n\"Well damn, that was short but sweet. No wonder no one gets anything done in that job.\"\n\nIn the distance, this now-fallen angel heard a faint cry of delight.\n\n\"Ohmygodohmygodi'mgo-\"\n\nPunctuated by another sonic boom." ]	2
	[WP] Four chefs stand as finalists in a reality cooking show. "The special ingredient for this sudden death round," said the announcer, raising the box to reveal two butcher knives, "is human."	[ "Karolyn was sweating. She didn’t think the three other chefs next to her could see, but she wiped her hands on her pants anyway. Her heartbeat only sped up when the announcer, Terrence Fields, a tall man with a devilish smile, walked towards the center table. There was only one covered dish on it this time, but last round there had been four special ingredients they had to cook with.\n\nChicken feet, wild boar, durian fruit, and ostrich eggs. Of the two chefs eliminated, one failed to use all of the ingredients (which Stefan Jones claimed wasn’t his fault - he needed two ostrich eggs for his dish and the other chef hadn’t been fast enough) and the other produced the worst meal. \n\nKarolyn had been close to leaving, since her disastrous first round still scarred the judges, but her durian breakfast muffins pushed her into the Sudden Death Round. Now all the chefs could do was wait in silence for the ingredient reveal.\n\nShe missed the chaotic sounds when they were cooking. There was constant yelling and shouting, knives against cutting boards, timers going off, machines running. She could only hear staggered breathing now. \n\nTerrence’s hand was lightly touching the plate cover. He was smirking at the chefs. Karolyn squirmed.\n\n“You are the best chefs on this show. You’ve beat out the competition for the chance to win $500,000. You’ve made it all the way to the Sudden Death Round.”\n\nHe was so obviously delighting in watching their eyes widen with greed. He couldn’t keep the giddiness out of his voice. If Karolyn’s pride had outweighed her lust for money, maybe she would’ve walked out on him. But it didn’t, and she needed the cash, so she stayed and she listened and she drooled over the prize money with the competition.\n\n“The special ingredient for the Sudden Death Round,” Terrance pulled the cover off with a flourish, revealing two gleaming butcher knives, “is human.”\n\nKarolyn stopped breathing. There were a few moments of shocked silence, and then Ani broke in with, “This is a joke, right?”\n\nTerrence kept his grin, backing up to the judging table, where a thick, sturdy gate was being lowered. “It’s a joke if you don’t want the money. But we’re sure at least one of you wants it badly enough.”\n\nThe man to Karolyn’s left twitched, and she flinched away from him. He looked down at her, and then glanced at the knives. He’s crazy, she thought, but when she glanced down the line, she could see Lisbeth looking at the weapons too.\n\nOnly Ani was voicing any protests, and her voice was struggling to be heard over Terrence’s loud call of, “That’s 50 minutes on the clock, chefs! Better get started!”\n\nStefan didn’t even hesitate. He quickly ran from Karolyn’s side to the center table,\nsnatching up a knife and heading for Ani.\n\nKarolyn shrieked. Lisbeth was moving too, taking the other knife and following behind Simon. Ani bolted away from the duo, grabbing Karolyn’s arm and dragging her to a kitchen. Ani dug through the drawers, throwing pots and pans, plates and bowls, anything she could get her hands on, at Simon. Karolyn was frozen for a second, whimpering slightly, and then she chucked an oven mitt at the man striding over to kill them.\n\nHe ducked away from most of the objects, but a waffle iron caught him in the gut and he folded over, groaning. Lisbeth took the opportunity and sliced his throat open. It felt like time slowed, as everyone watched with morbid fascination at Stefan choking on his own blood, uselessly holding his throat as if that would stop him from dying. He spat, staining the white floor. He fell to his knees first, then onto his stomach.\n\nHe hadn’t even stopped twitching when Lisbeth started cutting off his arm. \n\nMaybe it was because Stefan’s screams didn’t even seem human anymore, because they were guttural and deep and animalistic, or maybe it was because Karolyn needed the money, but she felt herself stooping down to pick up his knife and rolling him onto his back when Lisbeth was done.\n\nKarolyn lifted his shirt up and hacked off pieces of his fleshy stomach. She could hear Ani moving behind her, and then she was using the knife next.\n\nThe money had won.\n", "\"Now, to reveal the secret ingredient that you must incorporate into your entrees...\"\n\nThe quirkily well-dressed probably gay but we'll never truly find out host holds his hand on the red satin curtain with a long pause for dramatic effect. The contestants are positively stoic with anticipation. The host pulls the curtain with the grace of a Las Vegas magician revealing two men strapped to tables struggling to break loose from their leather constraints.\n\n\"Humans!\" A slightly shocked face comes over one of the contestants, another smiles bit. The host picks up two large butcher knives and stands between the two secret ingredients. \"You have 45 minutes to create a delicious entree using human meat. You time begins...\" He brings both blades down onto the necks of the humans, severing their heads. \"NOW!\"\n\nThe contestants scramble over and begin dissecting the humans. They're jostling for position and trying to get the perfect cuts for their meals. He host strolls over to the panel of judges.\n\n\"So humans. This is an interesting ingredient considering a couple of our contestants are undead former humans.\" The host says a light, cheerful way.\n\nA woman-like judge with streaks of white in her black hair nods her head, \"Yes, but let's not forget that the chief diet of the undead is live humans, so they should be very familiar with this particular meat.\"\n\nA frog person judge butts in, \"The other two shouldn't be strangers to eating humans either. One thing they'll have to watch out for is how tough the meat might be. Both those men look to be in fairly good shape which means their lean muscles will not be as tender as our contestants are probably used to getting. Cooking something like a quadriceps might go from tender to tough in a matter of seconds. They'll have to watch out for that.\" He adjusts his tuxedo cummerbund so that flap thing doesn't spring up and smack him in the face.\n\nThe contestants work furiously. Some of them cook like a person possessed, some are actually possessed. The two men are butchered, skinned, and deboned. Their brains are taken and their organs are harvested. One contestant is making a nice brain risotto with tender back loin. The camera cuts to her in an interview.\n\n\"I see the humans and I think 'Oh crap...' I haven't had to eat real human since I transcended into a brood queen. Most of my cooking background is in fungus and half dissolved rival brood warriors. I'm thinking I'll have to go with what I know and I know the back is a big chuck of meat that is very versatile.\"\n\nThe woman-like judge gets a puzzled look on her face and says, \"What's the Saurian doing with the brains? He's throwing it in the blender?\"\n\nThe judge watches him, \"Yes and he appears to be adding cream to it. Now he's taking it over to-\"\n\nThe woman-like judge interrupts excitedly, \"To the ice cream machine! We're getting brain ice cream!\" She claps what could be considered hands. The frog judge licks his eye ball with a big smile.\n\nThe third judge, an ethereal black void-like entity (if it can truly be perceived as such), telepathically in a way that isn't what us lower plain of existence beings consider words or language but none the less understand perfectly what is being said, says, \"I haven't had brain ice cream in eons since the epoch of the ancient elders well before the new elders reclaimed the dreamscape! This is exciting!\"\n\nTime ticks by. The host holds his wrist up to his face and lets the contestants know there is only one minute left. They're frantically moving through the kitchen putting their finishing touches on the plates. One chef forgets about the toasted baguettes in the oven and burns them. Another chef has trouble getting the blood to emulsify and has to scrap the entire mayonnaise. The risotto doesn't work out either.\n\n\"Ten seconds chefs!\" Jump cuts to each contestant putting one last thing on the plate. Staring at his wrist watch, the Host says, \"Three! Two! One! Okay, hands, tentacles, and claws down!\" The judges more-or-less clap and the chefs stare nervously at their own dishes as well as their competition's. They all head backstage as the judges wait patiently for each meal to be served.\n\nThe first plate is set down. The zombie chef who cooked it mumbles, with the help of an interpreter, that what he cooked was some kind of bone marrow infused spaghetti with jerk style testicles. The judges taste it and nitpick a few things, but seem overall pretty pleased with what they ate or consumed via other means. The frog judge clasps his hands together and asks, \"If you were to win today, what would you do with the 10,000 souls?\" The zombie mumbles and pantomimes that he'd take a vacation to Italy and visit his ancestors buried in the catacombs of various cathedrals.\n\nThe second plate is plopped down in front of the judges. The brood queen chef explains, in a very peppy tone, \"This is a back slab stew with crispy butt skin on the side. I like to dip the skin in and let it soak a bit! Enjoy!\" She winks some of her eyes. The woman-like judge takes a bite of the stew and makes an unhappy, sour face. She asks, \"Did you bother to shave the butt skin before frying it?\" The void judge adds, \"Yes I'm getting a lot of hair on my butt skin as well.\" The brood queen chef looks nervous but says, \"Well, I also saw hair as an option. I like the texture usually\" The camera pans over to see a disgusted look on the woman-like judge's face.\n\nThe third plate comes in piping hot and ready to go. The vampyre chef who made it tries to use his hypnotic stare to change the judges' opinions, but once he locks \"eyes\" with the void, the vampyre chef begins to tremble and talk in tongues. He drops to his knees and claws his eyes out, but the visions do not end. He sees incomprehensible things existing in the past, present, and future at once. The horrors of a truth being told that he cannot ever understand. A looming dread, unlike anything he had ever felt before, creeps up his spine and takes roots in the deepest and darkest regions of his subconscious. His own insignificance is made brutally clear and it a fit of madness he drives a wooden stake into his own heart. His bodies collapses, almost beautifully, into a pile of ash. He is swept away by an intern and disqualified. Too bad too because all the judges agreed that the spinal fluid and yogurt sauce was very tasty.\n\nThe fourth set up plates get brought in from backstage but the intern slips on some sort of slime and drops them all. Immediately, hundreds of rats consumed him and the dishes. The squid chef (transformed from his Saurian form) who made them inks his pants and is also disqualified. Rats consume him as well.\n\nThe remaining two contestants are asked to leave as the judges deliberate which entree deserves the 10,000 souls. The void judge, in his own way, says, \"I think we have an obvious winner here. The brood queen served us a bunch of butt hair.\" The frog judge adjusted his bow tie. He croaked out, \"Yeah the zombie is the clear winner. His food tasted better. Plain and simple.\" The woman-like judge nodded in agreement. The host turned his palms up and asks, \"So, are we in agreement?\"\n\nThe zombie and brood queen are brought back out. One of their dishes is covered by a vision interpretation blocking force field. \"You both cook valiantly\" The host says with his hand on the force field, \"But only one of you can take home the 10,000 souls. Who will it be...\" There's such a long dramatic pause that even the mummies operating the cameras are thinking, \"C'mon man! Just show us who one!\"\n\nFinally the host lifts the force field and reveals that the zombie chef's food is underneath. The zombie's eyes dust up a little bit and the brood queen storms into the crowd tearing at anyone in her path. As acid sprays and limbs fly in the background, the host congratulates the zombie chef. The woman-like judge says, \"We just thought every component of your dish really came together nicely. They all complimented each other and you even managed to work in that elusive umami flavor. Great work! Oh and two of the other chefs were disqualified, and the other one served us butt hair. So, you are the obvious choice.\"\n\nThe zombie shambles away in triumph. The post show interview shows him mumbling to the camera with his interpreter doing the voice over. \"I'm so excited to see all my ancestors in Italy. I know they'll be proud of my spaghetti!\" He, somehow, jumps up in the air to click his heels together and ends up knocking off both his feet.", "I had worked really hard most of my life trying to make it as a famous chef. I owned a small restaurant that wasn't doing bad, but it wasn't doing great, either. When I saw the chance to get on a new cooking show, I knew I would be able to show the world how impressive my skill really was. I worked harder than ever, impressing the judges every round. It payed off, because I was one of the four finalists. \n\nWe all waited nervously, not sure what to expect for this \"sudden death\" round. I thought it was odd they named the final round \"sudden death,\" because it wasn't really a sudden death round. I knew I had to concentrate, so I stopped thinking about it. The announcer approached us with a box, which typically meant he would introduce the special ingredient for the round. \n\n\"The special ingredient for this round,\" the announcer declared, raising the box to reveal two butcher knives, \"is human.\" \n\nAll of a sudden, the camera men stopped rolling. A security guard tackled him to the ground, pinning him there.\n\n\"Oh crap, the guard said, Jim forgot to take his meds. This is illegal, shut the show down. We'll pick up when we get a new announcer.\"\n\n\nThank you for reading!" ]	3
	[WP] A new religious text is now official. A new code of laws is instituted. How would the world be under Shakira Law?	[ "\"So what do you have to say for yourself?\" the prosecutor asked. \n\n\"I didn't do it,\" said the woman.\n\n\"Oh, c'mon,\" the prosecutor scoffed. \"We have the video of you murdering your husband, the knife with your DNA on it, several witnesses that were there since you killed him in public in broad daylight...\"\n\nThe woman slowly stood and started shaking her hips.\n\nThe prosecutor, judge, jury, and everyone else in the courtroom stared, mesmerized.\n\nFinally, she leaned over and said into the microphone, \"That is all.\"\n\nThe jury gave her a verdict of non-guilty.\n\nOn the courtsteps, besieged by reporters, one question rang out clear above the rest, \"How did you manage to convice the jury of your innocence with the overwhelming amount of evidence stacked against you?\"\n\nThe woman smiled. \"Simple, I just told the truth. And they had to believe me because the hips don't lie.\"\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] You and your identical twin fall in love with the same person, you agree to act as one person in an effort for you both to have love. When your SO proposes you decide it's time to come clean.	[ "\"Did i drink to much?\" \n\"No\" \n\"But why do i see double?\" \n\"You don't\" \n\"But why are you here two times jeremy?\" \n\"because we are twins\" \n\"You never told me that you have a twin\" \n\"We\" \n\"What?\" \n\"I said we, we are both your boyfriend\" \n\"But, but, but\" \n\"We both wanted you, so we decided to flip a coin, it landed on the edge so we both became your boyfriend\" \n\"And with whom did i have sex?\" \n\"Both\" \n\"My nudes?\" \n\"Both\" \n\"When we write with each other?\" \n\"Depends on the week, each other we swapped\" \n\"And now?\" \n\"Well, there is the problem, you want to propose, but its hard to fake two ceremonies\" \n\"I have to sit down\" \n\"Do you need something to drink?\" \n\"COULD YOU BOTH STOP TO SPEAK SIMULTANEOUSLY\" \n\"Sorry, darling, now only i will speak. We both have the same thoughts anyways\" \n\"And you care to share them with me?\" \n\"yes, we both love you after all this years. We don't want to lose you, but one of us has to.... or we both\" \n\"Why?\" \n\"Why, what? I already explained that we swap...\" \n\"Ye, ye but why do i have to choose?\" \n\"What do you mean?\" \n\"Why not continue like it already is? You don't have to keep it a secret now and i love both of you, at least i guess since i never suspected anything\" \n\"And the marriage?\" \n\"I marry both, one official and one secretly\" \n\"Are you sure?\" \n\"Yes, i proposed to you, so i proposed to both of you\" \n\"I love you\" \n\"I love you both, but one question i still have\" \n\"Which one?\" \n\"With whom did i have a threesome?\" \n\"Both, we switched after the first round...\" \n\"Well... now you don't have to switch. Now that i know your secret\" \n\"Do you want to go to a restaurant first?\" \n\"Ohhh my god, can you please were different outfits so we can prank the waitress?\" \n\"That's why we love you\"" ]	1
	[WP] You have been transported to your favourite fictional universe, after living there for a few years you finally decide to talk to someone about where you came from.	[ "\" Izzy, go fetch me my papers\", I hastily scrambled to go fetch his papers on the desk near the open window. I answered him, belatedly, with a mere \"yes\" as I found myself drawing closer to his large form sitting in a blood red kings chair, only to be meet with a harsh look \" Yes what?\", he said. It took me a while to actually catch on to what he was saying, but eventually I got when I felt a sudden and sharp tug on my hair. \"Ah\", I muttered as I tried not to cry from the sharp stinging sensation on the back of my scalp. \"Y-yes, Sir\". Though I could not see anything above his elbow and wrist as my head was forced back almost to the point of bending me backwards, I could still feel him make a sinister smirk as he went on to speak; \" Like I told you before, Izzy, you aren't slick or clever. You will address me by my proper title and do so appropriately. I will not hesitate to whip you and you are already on your second strike and you're pissing me off!\" As he uttered that last word, he roughly let go of my long black hair and sent my my head swinging forward, causing me to lose my balance. As I sat on my knees, trying my best not to lose it, he spoke again; his slight British accent accentuating harshness even more. \" Don't make me regret buying you, Lauren\", I hate when he uses my name like that, \" Because I can guarantee you that you won't like it when it happens\". Damn, i'm really on borrowed patience right now...He didn't even present it as a possibility, but as a certainty! I felt Damien draw near, a knock on his office door caught his attention. It was Adrian! His tall stature, hazel eyes, and sandy colored hair were hard not to recognize. \n\n\" Damien, Izzy\", he said as he nodded to the both of us. By the look on his face, I could tell he was troubled by something. \"Damien, would you mind if i spoke to your slave for a moment? It's urgent. A guest would like to speak with her\". A guest? For moi? Well that is unexpected, I didn't expect ol' Reaper to come for my soul until much later; I guess I was wrong. \n\nEverything I never Wanted by SarahBeth", "Barry stared back at me, confused.\n\n\"What?\" I asked\n\nHe was still for a moment, trying to take it all in.\n\n\"Soooo, you wanna tell me you come another universe, not another earth but universe, and that this universe is fictional?\" He finally said. \n\n\"Yup, that's pretty much it.\" I said with a smile\n\nOliver didn't look too happy. Or believing. \n\n\"You expect us to believe this gimmick? How do we know we can even trust you anymore, Oracle?\" He said with a frown.\n\nOracle. It had become my name, my superhero name, so to speak. I had been able to predict some events that were gonna happen, and I was able to tell superheroes their secret identities and their secret lairs and stuff. It was all possible because a couple years ago, I met a magician who said he could transport me to my favourite fictional universe, and voila, here I was. \n\n\"Listen guys, I know its hard for you to take in, but its the truth. The honest to god truth.\" \n\n\"Really? Give me one reason why I shouldn't waste you here.\" Hal threatened.\n\nI sighed. This was honestly expected, for these guys to act like this, seeing they were being, well, themselves.\n\nClark cleared his throat, and said \"We should imprison him. He might be sent by the enemy. We've seen people like him, before, posing as friends, only turning out to be enemies.\"\n\nAt that, Barry's eyes seem to flicked, and a sadness crossed his face.\n\n\"Enough. John might not be here, so we can't have his mind read, but I still have my lasso. We could lock him up at interrogate him, to get some truth out of him.\" Diana said with authority.\n\n\"Oh come guys, you gotta believe me. You guys are comic cook characters, for crying out loud.\" I pleaded.\n\nThen he spoke, his deep voice booming. He had been quiet this whole time, quietly listening and watched me, my every move, to see if I make a mistake.\n\n\"If we're comic book characters, tell me who killed my parents.\"", "My eyes slowly open as I awaken from the world of dreams.\n\nThe breeze gently drifted through the air, while the morning sun greeted me from opening between the curtains. \n\nBirds chirped harmoniously outside as they went about their business for the morning.\n\nBelow, I could hear the hustle and bustle of people as they made their way to work, or school, or where ever it was they went to in the morning.\n\nA typical morning in this city, yes, but it was very comforting in that normalcy.\n\nPeace.\n\nThat would be how I would describe this atmosphere.\n\nSomething I, we, worked so hard for, was finally obtained.\n\nI looked around the room. It was the room I had grown accustomed too over the past 4 years.\n\nIt was, of average size, I would say. Bigger than my previous dwelling, but still smaller than, say, a hotel suite.\n\nThe building this room belonged to, however, was too big to be called a house, despite the fact the it was in the middle of a residential area.\n\nApparently, they had made several changes to the house, in order to cater for the owners unique situation.\n\nRegardless the atmosphere of the place was very much similar to my old home, so I quickly grew accustomed.\n\nThis was home now.\n\n\"Mmm\"\n\nAt that moment, my attention was drawn to the precious existence which lay asleep next me.\n\nHer ash blonde hair seemed to dazzle as her milk white skin seemed to glow while bathed in the morning sunlight.\n\nMy partner through all those many year, Serah.\n\nShe must have been tired. She had been working non stop since the battle last week aiding and managing the rebuilding efforts in the various factions. \n\nApparently, they're done with most of the repairs already, which was why the higher up suggested for her take some time off. Well, knowing her stubborn attitude, it must have been more like ordered to. Followed by being escorted personally to the residence to make sure that she did as told. Heh, I can imagine the cute pouting face she must have made when her father told her to go home and rest. Really though, considering that man, I more inclined to say that that scene must have been more awe inspiring than cute. Well, that was the way she was after all. Including her bad habit of overworking when something was troubling her...\n\n\"...\"\n\n\"Oof\"\n\nJust then, the red haired beauty which lay on my other side, my left side, moved her right arm in a not to subtle manner, hitting me squarely in my rib cage.\n\nThat's still healing you know.\n\nsigh\n\nWhat can I say, shes as graceful as when shes awake... Aria...\n\n...I heard she cried herself to sleep for the entire last week. I'm sorry I worried so much.\n\nShe half nearly knocked me out cleanly again when she glomped onto me after I awoke yesterday. She really was the most sensitive one of the group, despite her usual wild and brash attitude. Really, I'm sorry for being such a reckless idiot.\n\n\"tsuuuu\"\n\nLaying softly on my chest, which was heavily bandaged mind you, lay the third member of the group which invaded my room, Beth. Despite being of the same size as the other two, perhaps due to part of her heritage owing to the reapers of the north, her weight was basically negligible, so it didn't really put much of strain on my body. Although she doesn't usually show much expression on her face, the scene of her smiling when I awoke yesterday was one I would not, could not, forget for the rest of my days. She too, must have been deeply worried about me...\n\nLooking at the scene of the three sleeping around me... It must be a far cry from what many would consider normal.\n\nI chuckle slightly, as I think to myself\n\n[They really are the daughters of that Dragon Emperor.]\n\nNormal girls wouldn't consciously consent to this situation. Well, I guess you could chalk it up to their family circumstance. Their father, after all, was well... I wouldn't say he was a womanizer, but rather very popular. So perhaps, for them and their siblings, something like this was a norm.\n\nWait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on a minute. Don't go having weird thoughts. Nothing happened here. I mean, I am a gentleman. I wouldn't take advantage of girls, much less when they were so distraught not even a day ago. I mean, I hadn't even kissed them yet, so...\n\nFor me these were precious comrades, partners, with whom I had gone through life and death battles with.\n\nPrecious smiles which I had fought to protect.\n\nPrecious, and yet... I...\n\nThe guilt that had buried inside me, it once again resurfaced.\n\nThese girls had given their all in the battles we had fought. Lay bare the emotions in their heart. ...And I couldn't even be honest with them.\n\nWhen I first met Serah, I played it off as memory loss. I must have repeated that same lie, over and over again. Until maybe even I thought that it was true.\n\nBut, I can't, no I must no longer hold this from them. They, deserve that much at the very least.\n\nBut... what if. What if this causes a rift between us? What if they.. hate me because of this truth.\n\nI... wouldn't be able to bear it. I've been through a lot these few years. \n\nThey had been my only comfort, my only saving light, in my current circumstance. \n\nTo lose them. It would hurt more than anything else.\n\nPerhaps sensing my state of mind, Serah, who must have awoken while I was in thought, looks at me with her half open eyes.\n\n\"Something wrong?\"\n\nThose beautiful red and blue orbs contained concern and worry. She must think that it has to do with my injuries from the battle.\n\n\"Morning, sleepy head.\"\n\nI reply to her as I caress he cheek, to which she responds\n\n\"Who's the one who's been out for the last week here?\"\n\nAlthough she responds with words that may seem bitter, but, genuine concern could be felt from her tone.\n\n\"Haha\"\n\nI laugh gently, so has to not wake the other two. I continue\n\n\"I was just thinking, we've been through a lot, haven't we?\"\n\nShe nods her head as she agrees\n\n\"Yeah. I can still recall that day, 4 years ago. I nearly kill you then and there. Fufu, and look at us now.\"\n\nShe smiles gently as she says that last part.\n\nI couldn't blame her really. That was a rather embarrassing memory, really...\n\nAnd still, its because of memories like that, that this feeling, this guilt in me grows ever deeper.\n\nI can't lie about this any longer. Especially to you. No, because it is you that I'm keeping this from.\n\nI look into her beautiful eyes and resolve myself for what needs to be done.\n\n\"Serah. There's something I need to tell you.\"\n\n\"Hm?\"\n\nShe looks at me confused. We've been honest with each other with everything, except for this, so I can understand why shes confused to my sudden confession.\n\n\"I... I'm not from here. From this city. From this country. From this world... Most likely even this universe.\"\n\nMore so than confusion, her face showed an expression of shock. I continued.\n\n\"Before you I met you that day, 4 years ago... Before the abyss I found myself in before that... I lived life in another world...\"\n\nHer expression of shock gradually grew into a more solemn expression. The fear in my heart grew bigger, yet, I must continue. She deserves to know the truth. I continued\n\n\"I was brought here by means I do not know. Even when I did research, I could not find any explanation for how or why I was brought here.\"\n\nShe made an expression as though she had realized something. I continued.\n\n\"I... wanted to tell you sooner, but... I couldn't find the right time. As time went on, it became even harder to say.\"\n\nIt was a vicious cycle. The longer I took to tell them, the harder it became, which then make me postpone it for later, and like that, the cycle continued.\n\n\"I know, you may hate me for this. I'm sorry from keeping this from you. So very sorry.\"\n\nMy fear and guilt swirled within my heart, as though swallowing any joy I previously had...\n\n...\n\nAt that moment someone hugged me from my left, and spoke.\n\n\"So what? You are you, and that's all that matters to me, to us.\"\n\nAria gently hugged me, the warmth of her heart could be felt from her touch. She continued\n\n\"I may not be as smart as my sisters, or as gentle as them. I'm crude and brash, and even somewhat reckless. But to me, you're someone irreplaceable... So I don't care who you are, or where you're from, to me you're you. The same man who fought for me, with me, and against me. I swore to you that day that I would follow you to ends of the earth, the universe if I had to.\"\n\nHer her amber eyes became moist as she said that.\n\n\"Idiot.\"\n\nA quit voice was heard from my atop my chest. Beth quietly said.\n\n\"I would never judge you.\"\n\nShe too, like her sister, showed a tender expression on her usually expressionless face as she snuggled her face against my chest.\n\nSerah took my hand in her own, as she looked at me with a tender look on her face.\n\n\"You fool, how would- how could I ever hate you for this? Did you not forget the promise we made on that night before the battle? I would stay would you till death, no even after that.\"\n\nI used my right arm to bring her closer.\n\nThe fear, the guilt, the turmoil in my heart, slowly began to fade away.\n\nIn this world I was brought to, despite the trouble and hardships I had faced, after the battles which were fought, I finally found it.\n\nHappiness.\n\nEven if I can't see my parents and siblings from home again, I've found existences that were just as irreplaceable. If not more so. This, was my home now.\n\nAfter collecting my thoughts, I made up my mind one more time.\n\n\"Will you, will the three of you... Marry me?\"\n\n\"\"\"Yes!\"\"\"\n\nEven if this world is different from the one I knew. Even if the norm here is completely different from what I know of, and the common sense of that world no longer applies here.\n\nI will live here.\n\nWith peace.\n\nAnd happiness.\n\nAnd my irreplaceable, precious, loved ones. \n\n=======\nMeta talk here. Story is based of the tale of a certain Oppai loving Dragon, in a possible future. Feedback is more than welcome, since I'm trying to improve my writing.", "Barry stared back at me, confused.\n\n\"What?\" I asked\n\nHe was still for a moment, trying to take it all in.\n\n\"Soooo, you wanna tell me you come another universe, not another earth but universe, and that this universe is fictional?\" He finally said. \n\n\"Yup, that's pretty much it.\" I said with a smile\n\nOliver didn't look too happy. Or believing. \n\n\"You expect us to believe this gimmick? How do we know we can even trust you anymore, Oracle?\" He said with a frown.\n\nOracle. It had become my name, my superhero name, so to speak. I had been able to predict some events that were gonna happen, and I was able to tell superheroes their secret identities and their secret lairs and stuff. It was all possible because a couple years ago, I met a magician who said he could transport me to my favourite fictional universe, and voila, here I was. \n\n\"Listen guys, I know its hard for you to take in, but its the truth. The honest to god truth.\" \n\n\"Really? Give me one reason why I shouldn't waste you here.\" Hal threatened.\n\nI sighed. This was honestly expected, for these guys to act like this, seeing they were being, well, themselves.\n\nClark cleared his throat, and said \"We should imprison him. He might be sent by the enemy. We've seen people like him, before, posing as friends, only turning out to be enemies.\"\n\nAt that, Barry's eyes seem to flicked, and a sadness crossed his face.\n\n\"Enough. John might not be here, so we can't have his mind read, but I still have my lasso. We could lock him up at interrogate him, to get some truth out of him.\" Diana said with authority.\n\n\"Oh come guys, you gotta believe me. You guys are comic cook characters, for crying out loud.\" I pleaded.\n\nThen he spoke, his deep voice booming. He had been quiet this whole time, quietly listening and watching me, my every move, to see if I make a mistake.\n\n\"If we're comic book characters, tell me who killed my parents.\"", "The commissar was patrolling the line when he saw a warp rift open up ahead. A small one, with a single human-sized figure emerging, but you could never be too careful when it came to these sort of things.\n\n\"Lieutenant, hail 7th regiment on the vox and tell them to send over a volley where that rift opened.\"", "Europe was a strange place in the aftermath of Napoleon's defeat and banishment, and London made even stranger by the frenzied effort made to incorporate dragons among the population. It had taken me a year to come to terms with the fact that, yes I was trapped in a world that I had thought entirely fictional, and no there was almost certainly no way of returning.\n\nMost of that year had been spent either on the edges of insanity, or near insensate with drink. As entertaining as I'd found the novels of my childhood, it was a harder thing to come to terms with the fact that everyone I knew was effectively dead to me. It was only after I had attempted to drown myself in the Thames and been plucked from the river by one of the local dragons that I'd come back to myself somewhat.\n\n\"That was a very stupid thing to do, and I have seen men do many stupid things!\" The dragon, small perhaps in comparison to others, but still many times my size chided my as it dropped me unceremoniously onto the filthy muck of the street and landed nearby.\n\nA blue and green striped head turned to regard me with an eye the size of my hand. \"That river is all over ice, and dirtier than a horse trough. Why in the world would you think it nice for a bath?\"\n\n\"I didn't.\" I grumbled, already shivering from the cold as I stumbled up to my feet.\n\n\"Then why pitch yourself in?\"\n\nA part of my wanted to be angry. The rest of me thought of how much of an idiot I was, as I recalled the instantaneous terror and regret I'd felt when the ice had closed over my head again. I found myself alternatively laughing and coughing. \"I don't know. I suppose I am stupid after all.\"\n\nThe dragon backed away a pace, looking impossibly nervous for a creature that could crush me like a bug. \"Are you mad? I've heard sometimes men take an illness in the head and do things that don't make sense.\"\n\n\"No, I'm not mad, I'm just tired, and afraid.\"\n\n\"Afraid of what? The war is over.\"\n\nI sighed and wiped away the foul smelling water from my face as well as I could. \"I'm not from here. I'm far from home, and I'm alone.\"\n\nThe dragon shifted its wings, \"Well, I'm Perscitia. There, you know me. Are you American? You speak English but I don't know your accent. I know some of the American dragons that trade here now. Perhaps they could get you home. If you're willing to work for it of course.\"\n\nI looked at Perscitia and for a moment I did feel insane. I wouldn't ever be going home, but that didn't mean I couldn't make anything of myself here. In this world I may as well be from the future. \"Maybe. Could you introduce me? I do have some things I think I could offer.\"\n\n_\n\nSome five years after meeting Perscitia I was no longer lost and astray. I suppose I should have felt a bit guilty essentially stealing so many other people's knowledge and intelligence, but they didn't even exist here. Instead my inventions had quickly made me a wealthy man, if somewhat of a recluse. I wasn't an engineer, but I had been a good mechanic and tinkerer, and given my rapidly expanding funds I was able to quickly work through small difficulties during invention, if only because I already knew they were possible and not dead-ends.\n\nI tried to stay away from weapons or technology that could easily be turned to war. I'd been in a war, back in my world, and they'd just finished one here. I saw no need to make another more likely. Instead I'd started trying to figure my way through a steam locomotive.\n\nPerscitia was looking over my models and figures; she had a far better head for the math involved that I would ever be so my shop was by necessity large enough to include her. She'd earned as much as I had, though most of her profits went into politics. Today though, she looked troubled, examining the complex array of gears and wheels I'd laid out.\n\n\"May I ask you something?\" Her voice was quiet.\n\n\"Of course,\" I was distracted, but happily turned my attention to the lounging dragon.\n\n\"Are you getting these ideas from someone else? I mean no offense of course, as I know men are constantly spying on each other for an edge and maybe you're just a very good spy. It's just,\" she sighed unhappily as I lost my smile, \"I've worked with you for years now, you always start a new idea as though it's already half formed, but then muddle through the rest of the steps, and to be quite frank you simply aren't this smart to be creating all these things from thin air.\" Her words came in one great rush that left no room for interruption, even if I'd wanted to.\n\nI wasn't really upset, or even surprised. I'd long ago accepted that Perscitia was probably smarted than I was in many aspects of engineering and invention. I supposed it was only a matter of time before she'd suspected something.\n\n\"You remember years ago when you saved me from drowning myself, and you asked if I was mad?\"\n\n\"Of course. I still think that was a very stupid thing to do.\"\n\n\"I'm going to tell you the truth, though it will sound quite insane to you.\" I ignored her dubious look and continued, \"You're quite right. I didn't think of any of this. I'm piecing together inventions made by made who died long before I was born. I told you that I'm not from here, but I didn't mean London. I'm from a different world entirely, one where dragons don't exist, and all these things that we're building decades and decades old.\"\n\n\"No dragons? That sounds like a terribly unpleasant world. Did men hunt them all down?\" A dangerous tone entered her voice and I held up my hands feebly.\n\n\"No! You misunderstand, I come from a place where dragons never existed except in fairy tales and fables! Listen, you said yourself, I'm not smart enough for this. It's true. In my life there I was a mechanic. I simply fixed the machines that other people designed, and even then only one type of machine.\"\n\n\"What type of machine?\"\n\n\"Aircraft.\" I blurted without thinking.\n\nSuddenly Perscitia was on her feet, her head nearly sweeping the beams of the roof, \"Preposterous. Simply nonsense. Aircraft. So you mean to tell me that men in your world fly like dragons?\"\n\n\"I'll show you.\" Without turning my back from the upset dragon I reached below the workbench and retrieved one of the few things I'd not shared with her. A small model of a plane, built with hollowed out of resin-paper and balsa-wood. I wound the cheaply made prop in the front, twisting the springs behind it, and finally released the model.\n\nPerscitia stood still as stone as the model plane wobbled through the air towards her, eventually crashing into one front leg and falling to the floor. \"It'd just a simple model of course, the real thing is much different.\" I added lamely. \n\nA long silence passed before she spoke, \"I worried once that men would eventually make a gun powerful enough to shoot down a dragon no matter how high, but I never thought they might take the skies themselves. These aircraft, they build them for war?\"\n\n\"Some of them.\" I volunteered reluctantly.\n\n\"And could one of them kill a dragon?\"\n\nI thought long and hard about how to answer that question before deciding on the truth, \"A single fighter in my time, Perscitia, might well shoot down every dragon in England.\"\n\n-\n\nSo, maybe a bit of a less commonly-known series and fictional universe, but still one of my favorites.\n\n", "Part 1\n\n&nbsp;\n\n“So,” a silky voice said from my bed in the servants’ quarters, and I froze in the doorway; “not only are you not from London, but from a different time. A different world, at that.”\n\n&nbsp;\n\n \nThe black-haired man looked up at me.\n\n&nbsp;\n \n“H…how did you find out, Sebastian?” I asked quietly.\n\n&nbsp;\n \n“I take it, then, you know of the Young Master’s Contract.” the demon butler continued, ignoring my question. “Of what I am?” Sebastian’s wine red eyes burned pink momentarily.\n\n&nbsp;\n \nI didn’t understand how he knew. For months, Sebastian had been attempting to use his usual methods of “interrogation” to find out about me, likely on Ciel’s orders; fortunately for me, I wasn’t a woman to be seduced. I suppose that, in itself, was something of a giveaway. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to tell anyone about my issue; Hell, for all I knew, Sebastian might have known a way to get me home. I just didn’t know how to start.\n\n&nbsp;\n \n“How did you find out?” I repeated, crossing my arms to hide my shaking hands.\n\n&nbsp;\n \n“You differ from other women,” Sebastian said softly, standing up from my bed and gliding over to me. My head barely reached his chest. “Your smart mouth, for one thing.” (I smirked.) “The way you speak…it’s foreign, although we speak a common language. That is how I knew you are not from London.”\n\n&nbsp;\n \n“And my being from another time? Another universe?” I prompted.\n\n&nbsp;\n \n“You speak almost metaphorically. You ask me, ‘what my problem is’, for instance, or, 'what's up', and I answer logically. You scoff and walk away; clearly you have different definitions than most.” He was even closer now. This man –demon, whatever, was incorrigible.\n\n&nbsp;\n \n“Lord Ciel and I found you in the rain that day, five years ago, in a shirt and slacks,\" he continued. \"You were quite obviously part of a wildly foreign culture. With your trousers and short hair, some might have thought you a prostitute, frankly.” I rolled my eyes. “But the most conclusive piece of evidence, Miss,” Sebastian leaned down and cupped my chin and his eyes flashed pink again. A thick black aura swirled around us until all I could discern were his demonic eyes, “was your soul.\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nPart 2\n\n&nbsp;\n\n“Enough!” \n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe darkness dissipated and was able to make out my surroundings again. Sebastian turned calmly to the doorway where the Young Master stood, looking annoyed. I, however, was shaking uncontrollably, feeling like a deer caught in headlights. \n\n&nbsp;\n\n“Sebastian,” Ciel said snappishly, “you are not to take her soul. That is an order. We took her in, and a fine servant she’d be without a soul. Understood?” \n\n&nbsp;\n\nAnd here I thought Ciel was showing a bit of humanity, I thought. \n\n&nbsp;\n\n“Of course, my lord,” Sebastian replied smoothly to Ciel, bowing. \n\n&nbsp;\n\n“Now,” Ciel turned to me. “Is what Sebastian said true? You aren’t from our world?” \n\n&nbsp;\n\nI nodded in affirmation. \n\n&nbsp;\n\n“What are you then?\" Ciel asked. \"A demon? A reaper?” \n\n&nbsp;\n\n“I’m just human, my lord,” I replied. I proceeded to tell Ciel about what had happened to me. \n\n&nbsp;\n\n“Hm. Sebastian, is there any way to return her?” Ciel turned to Sebastian, who shrugged minutely. \n\n&nbsp;\n\nI sighed. “So, what then? What are you going to do with me, I mean?” \n\n&nbsp;\n\n“Well,” Master Ciel said slowly. “If you do know all that you claim to… You would be useful to me, and my missions from the Queen. Assist me, and I will assist you.” \n\n&nbsp;\n\nI stood frozen for a moment, then curtsied. “Yes, my lord.”", "\"So yeah, that's about it,\" I said. Patiently, I waited for Winston or one of the other heroes to reply. \n\n\"Just to get this straight. You came from another Earth? You sure about that,\" Tracer asked inquisitively. \n\n\"Yep,\" I said, smiling at her. Yet, she did not smile back. Instead her reaction appeared to be switching into more of a scowl. Unsettled, I started to nervously tap on the table. \"Yeah so you guys wanna go do something now? Maybe hit up the Arcade on Hanamura? Play some 16 Bit Hero?\" \n\nStill they remained silent. Suddenly, Soldier 76 stood up and went over to whisper something in Winston's ear. Then, Winston grinned at me. \n\n\"I like you kid, but here's the deal,\" Soldier said. \"We can't have your kind here or even knowing about this place. So we are going to have to kill you. Talon for sure won't let you live after they hear about this and trust me they will. Listen though, we'll give you a chance. Choose your location to stake it out. We'll transfer you there and give you a minute before we follow.\" \n\nMy whole body froze. These people were supposed to be heroes, not murders. I traveled here to be with the universe I loved, not to be hunted in it. \n\n\"So you are joking right? This is a joke?\" I asked. \n\nMercy, who had been standing in the corner, shook her head. It seemed like she was crying a bit. The she said, \"It's what we have to do.\"\n\n\"Choose your place son,\" Soldier nudged. \n\nThey were serious. I couldn't believe it. I had walked into this world thinking I could be with the heroes I loved and before my eyes they were turning into villains I would grow to hate. If I could even survive longer than a minute. I gulped down nervously, thinking about which place would give me the most hiding spots, and gave my reply. \n\n\"King's Row.\"\n\nPart 2: \n\nIt had been about hour since I had arrived in King's Row and they had still not come. Perhaps they felt bad for me and gave me more time to prepare. Or worse, they just wanted to toy with me. It was hard to say which. \n\nAmidst trying to hide within this Omnic city, I had found the reason. It had been filed away in an old office building. A discarded news article that was never printed. The real creator of the Omnic war had been the humans of my Earth. It had stayed a hidden secret that we had even existed. The world government of my Earth had staked out a war with this one by hacking all of the offline Omnics and motioning them to attack the world. \n\nBreaking my thought process, rockets flew into the office building which I was hiding, exploding all around me. Narrowly they missed me and I started to catapult myself down the hallway. It was Pharah. She was here to put an end to me. \n\nContinuously, a barrage of rockets came pummeling through the windows of the building. Despite the floor of the building that was literally falling apart beneath me, I continue to dive forward. Plummeting to my death was not an option. I had to make it out alive.\n\nFinally a rocket hit it's mark, the explosion shooting me backwards. Luckily, it wasn't a direct hit. I pummeled backwards landing into an empty computer desk. Still alive, albeit bleeding, I watched waiting for Pharah to make her landing inside. Yet before she did, an ice wall appeared blocking the entrance of the broken window. \n\nI turn to my right to see Mei and Zenyatta standing their in the office building. If they've come to kill me, then why block Pharah out? \n\n\"It is nice to see you friend,\" Zenyatta said, tossing one of his healing orbs on me. The surge of euphoria drifted through my body. \n\n\"Why don't they see I'm different,\" I cried out to the omnic before me. His shoulders slumped at my words. \n\n\"It is not you. It is your world. The Overwatch rules state that we cannot let anyone from there live or return. Because we fooled them. They think we are dead. If they find out, war will start again.\" \n\nA loud roar sounded outside. It was the sound of Winston and his pent up rage. \n\n\"The wall is about to go down,\" Mei stammered. \n\n\"Winston is very angry at your world,\" Zen said. \"His friend Hammond was lost to him, having stole him from this world. He will not let up on his rage until you are gone.\" \n\n\"Like it's my fault.\" \n\n\"We must go. There are some of us that would disobey the rules to keep you alive my friend. We know of someone that can get you back to Earth, as well.\" \n\nWe escaped out the back and used some Tracer tech that Zenyatta had taken to teleport us elsewhere. Suddenly, we arrived in Numbani. We traveled through hastily, heading deep into the heart of residential area. Entering into one of the homes, I was greeted by a small girl. \n\n\"Hello, my name is Efi,\" she said. The next ten minutes were spent being shown the teleporter she had created on the far side of the room and saying my goodbyes to Zenyatta and Mei. \n\n\"It was nice knowing you all,\" I said, entering the teleporter and leaving this other Earth behind. I had made it out safely, thanks to the willingness of a few heroes that would disobey orders to save another. \n\nToo bad, it would be their reckoning. As I entered back into my Earth, one in deeper turmoil from it's own wars, I smiled widely. Their reaction to Earth was unexpectedly savage, but I would make sure they would pay two-fold for trying to kill me. I had certainly gathered enough intel for the Colonel to make this mission successful too. \n\nWe could begin our invasion tomorrow. The colonization of another Earth. \n" ]	8
	[WP] You are a mentally rehabilitated criminal in a system where criminals have no memory of their crime and are treated by the public as if no crime was ever committed. In your old age, you receive a detailed letter saying you were framed for the murder of your son by your wife of 50 years.	[ "The letter had a return address, and that is where I went. It was a courthouse and, after explaining the situation to the person at the counter, I was escorted into a side room and left to wait.\n\nA few minutes later, a man entered and smiled, taking off his judge attire. He sat down in his seat heavily and sighed. Then he looked at me, and asked, \"So you got the letter?\"\n\nI nodded.\n\n\"And the money has been deposited into your bank account, I trust?\" \n\nI nodded again. 30 million dollars. One million for each year I had been wrongfully imprisoned.\n\nThe judge nodded and closed his eyes, reciting from memory, \"I sincerely apologize on behalf of the Criminal Just-\"\n\nI got up and walked out. \n\n◇◇◇◇◇\n\nAs I did daily, for the past fifteen years, I went to lay a rose on my son's grave. \n\nI had stopped crying from sadness a long time ago. No amount of tears would bring him back. But in my old age, I had begun to cry on these visits - but not from sadness; but from joy. For soon, I knew, we would see each other again.\n\nToday, was significantly poignant.\n\nI laid my rose on his grave, said my prayers, and then I stood up and went a few feet away to where my wife lay.\n\nWe had been married for 50 years. She had stayed with me throughout my whole bid, putting money in my commisary, and writing letters to me daily without fail. She even visited me occasionally for the first few years; until I saw how much it was hurting her to see me in the condition I was -- and so I begged her to stop coming.\n\nShe died while I was in prison. I was shocked because she never mentioned feeling sick in any of the letters she wrote. Fortunately, I was allowed to attend the funeral. A few days later, I was informed that I would be released. Two months after that, I was.\n\nAccording to the letter I recieved, she had admitted to the crime I was serving time for and had provided evidence as well in order to secure my release.\n\nI never found out why she had killed our son, or why she had let me take the blame for her mistakes for so long. All she said in the letter was that, \"the guilt was beginning to eat her alive - and she couldn't take it anymore.\"\n\nAfter she confessed at the police station, the judge allowed her to return home to set her things in order before being sentenced. It was there that she commited suicide.\n\nAs I looked down at her tombstone, so many emotions swirled around inside of me struggling to reach the surface that I just stood there and waited to see which one won.\n\nAnger almost did. And I had a lot to be angry about. Anger at her for killing our son; anger at her for framing me; anger at her for leaving this world on her terms instead of suffering the consequences...\n\n...anger at myself for...for...I didn't know what. And not knowing, just made me feel angrier.\n\nBut anger wasn't the emotion that won that day. \n\nIt was love. Love that let me look toward the things that I had, that I had gained; instead of that which I had lost. \n\nI had freedom. I had answers to some of the questions that plagued my mind when I sat in that cold, lonely prison cell. \n\nAnd I had some peace in knowing that, though my wife had commited a terrible mistake that had cost me 30 years of my life, she seemed to have been struggling to repentant of it - by sticking with me mostly throughout the entirety of my sentence, and ultimately, confessing. Her soul had convicted her where the courts couldn't.\n\n30 million dollars would never be able to replace the son I had lost, but with the money, I planned to help start charities and organizations to help those who suffered like I had, and worse.\n\nSo, all I could say, as I looked at her grave with my tears in my eyes was, \"I forgive you.\" \n\nAnd then I laid a rose on her grave, and walked away.\n\n\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] Death looks like the things we fear most. To a man with a fear of heights, he looks like a bird. To a man with a fear of insects, it looks like a bee. But to you, death looks like a beautiful woman.	[ "Oh no. Not her. Please God no. Not her. She was lovely. Dark brown hair, cascading over her back in thick inky waves. Sparkling green eyes, laughing and bubbly, like a mountain creek. Freckles scattered across high cheekbones and golden skin. No please. She was small and slight, she fit just under my chin. She walked ever closer to me, a smooth and swaying saunter. God no. Not her. No. My first love. My wife. Well. The first one. \n\n\"What are you haunted by, Sammy?\"\n\nSame voice. Oh god why. My voice gone, replaced by a choking sigh. Sputtering, until it peters out into an aching sob. A pain in my chest so powerful. Long icy tendrils filling my veins, all the way in, grasping and stabbing. \n\n\"C'mon Sammy. You can tell me.\"\n\nNo. No I can't. She's gone. This can't be real. I feel like I'm dying. The closer she gets, the more I can see. Bruising, across her face, her neck, her chest. Cuts laid deep across her nose and around her cheeks. The busted lip. The slight dent in her chest that is just so sick and wrong. The one I put there. God it was my fault. I hear something, a moan. Low and hurt and keening and I don't know where it's coming from. Her mouth doesn't move. It must be me.\n\n\"Sammy please. It's okay. This is your last chance. Tell me what you're afraid of.\"\n\nI swallow hard, tasting copper and bile. Her. I could never face up to it. I still can't speak. Something is binding my throat shut tight and I can't see it. It just hurts. I can feel myself slipping, everything seems so far away. I lift my arm and gently place my hand in the dent I left all those nights ago when the air bag didn't go off. When I got distracted and angry. I never should've been angry. With the last little bit of fight I have in me, I hear myself whisper in this horrible strangled voice that doesn't seem like it belongs to me.\n\n\"You.\"\n\nAnd I'm gone.", "\"I don't get it,\" I said. All I was getting was aroused by the sight of the beautiful woman's body and the thought of being with her in bed.\n\nBut Death said, \"You're afraid of rejection. Yes, you look at me and in your mind say I'm beautiful; but in your heart, you're afraid of me. Afraid to approach me; afraid of not being good enough. Even if you get me, you'll be afraid of losing me to another man with a bigger wallet, bigger muscles, better looks, etc.\"\n\nI hung my head in shame and asked, \"So is that it? You're just here to mock me?\"\n\nThe woman shook her head and said, \"No. I'm here to offer you a second chance at life.\"\n\n\"Second chance,\" I replied. A no-brainer. \"But hey, before you go, what did I die from?\"\n\n\"Not every death is physical,\" she said. \"Don't be the type of person that dies at 24, but gets buried at 70, Paul. Chase your dreams. Go after what you want. Respectfully,\" she warned. \"You don't want to get to get maced or slapped with a restraining order.\"\n\nAnd then she was gone, giving me a lot to think about. " ]	2
	[WP] No one believes me, but I must write down the true events before I die.	[ "No one believes me, but I must write down the true events before I die. It is true that I have ran out of time, but I know that one day the world will come to witness what I have and know that every word I have ever spoken was, in fact, true.\n\nIt happened a year ago on this day, 5th August 2016. I was driving on the highway when my car slid under the heavy rain and I swerved out of control. Just as I thought I was going to bolt into a parallel truck, a shimmering portal burst to life and my vehicle was sucked in.\n\nI had closed my eyes instinctively and when I opened them, I was in a place of such beauty I am unable to use our inadequate languages to convey such a deep rush of powerful emotions. \n\nI shall use the words peace and love. And the sight of creatures unimaginably wonderful in all possible aspects. They bowed with utmost devotion and respect and I to them, though I had never before. It was such that I knew I belonged. And in my mind, there was a word we use to describe such beings. Aliens. From a parallel dimension.\n\nI learned of tranquility and adoration for all. And I grieved the deepest of pains during my time there. Yet I never felt hate or pain. Or jealously. But it was not Heaven for when I lusted, I was satisfied to the highest of levels, an ecstacy I will never experience again.\n\nFor I ruined our chances for paradise. When I longed for home and work and war and bloodshed. I was rejected from the dimension and found myself driving the highway, moments before the crash. I slowed down and continued on my way.\n\nIt is not that I was expelled from the dimension that I want you all to understand. It was to drop our worldly obsessions for a greatness we can not hope to replicate here. \n\nPlease, if a single person gets the chance to take mankind to a different world, a different universe and dimension, I beg with sincerity, take it.\n\nEvery word I have said is true. And it is on my death bed I want to prove that I have never spoken a lie. Please, listen to an old man when he asks you to believe him. But now I must leave Earth as the hands of Death are reaching for me.\n\nGoodbye.\n\n~~hmmmm.... it's 03:02... I feel like I'm not really here. Ahhh sleep deprivation done by my own personal choices... Hahaha...oh man I will regret this in the morning~~", "No one believes me, but I must write down the true events before I die.\n\nIt all started when I left that bar in the middle of the night. I could barely walk. I couldn't remember what happened in there, I was very tired. \n\nI was walking under the bright moonlight, and I was unaware of a presence near me watching my every move. From the shadows, I was able to see a figure that said \"return the mark\". I didn't know what the stranger was talking about, so I just pretended I didn't heard and kept walking, but a creepy black thing jumped towards me, but right before a weird glowing shield surrounded me and made that thing scream.... ughh... that noise... it was like the sound of a comb being passed on a stick really fast. At that moment I remember to feel a weird mix between adrenaline and fear, but I couldn't move. I was REALLY scared... and then I noticed this tattoo on my arm that made weak blinks of light, I automatically recognized it, the bar had that same thing on the door. I started to run to the direction of the bar while I was paranoid watching my surroundings.\n When I finally arrived, I noticed that it wasn't a bar, and it was hard to remember what happened in there. The lights of the house were turned off, and there was NO WAY I was going to go in there, and out of the blue, 2 more of those things appeared, and my right arm became some sort of lantern, and I scared one of them, but the other jumped in me... I stared at his eyes, everything became slower... it's hard to describe, but I felt like everything was getting slower and that I wouldn't escape... but the thing started making that scream and twitching until it was gone, then the strange figure appeared again and said: \"it's too late for salvation, the curse in your arm won't wipe out hehe...\" then it turned and left, i saw 3 orange pair of eyes floating in the dark making that sound, that disappeared when the sun started rising.\n I tried to get help in the short time I had, but no one believed me, right now I am writing this so people can know the truth, these things... are everywhere, whenever you feel watched, THEY ARE THERE, while I am writing this everything is getting dark, and I can see them there, waiting, staring... but they aren't just 3... there are millions of them, and I think they are being called by something, and when the sun no longer shines in the sky, they are going to be free..." ]	2
	[WP] Smith plucked the note from his car's windshield. "Don't open the trunk. Monster inside," it read.	[ "\"I run my life, no one tells me what to do.\" Smith walked to the back of his car, put the key in the hole, twisted it, and opened the trunk, nothing was inside.\n\n\"Oh my god, it's Will Smith!\"\n\nHe turned around and was greeted by the face of an overweight fan who grabbed him by the shoulders, Smith pushed the teenager off of him and grabbed his badge out of his black business coat. \"See that? NYPD, means I will Knock Your Punkass Down!\"\n\nSmith was blinded by a camera flash and pushed inside the trunk, he heard the lid click shut and was stuck in a very confined space. \"What- what the fuck are you thinking!\"\n\n\"Oh yes, I gotta show my parents Will Smith, they'll be so happy!\" The psychotic teenager got into the drivers' seat and turned the key in the ignition.\n\n\"You stole my keys, you prick?\" Smith heard the motor starting, he tried to kick open the lid, but it was to no avail. \"Do you even have a driver's licence?\"\n\nThe teen's face got red from excitement and casted a broad smile across his face. \"No!\" He smashed the accelerator pedal with his foot and was driving 100 kph through New York.\n\nSmith decided his life wasn't going to end here, he mustured all of his strength and kicked open the lid. Skyscrapers flied in and out of his vision, he climbed out and almost fell off when the car made a sharp turn. \"Kid! Kiiiiiid!\"\n\nHe jumped forward onto the roof of the car and saw that his kidnapper's driving skills were exceptional, but he was going down nonetheless.\n\nSmith grabbed his neuralyzer and looked through the car window with his head upside down. \"Hello!\"\n\nThe teen waved at him and then noticed the neuralyzer. \"Holy shit, those things are real?\"\n\n\"Oh yes, they be real momma.\" Smith pressed the button and the flash made the teen comepletely motionless, he realized his move wasn't smart and the car was now unmanned. They drove over a small bridge and Smith jumped off of the car onto a tour bus. \"It just be raining black people in New York!\"\n\nMeanwhile, the car smashed into MiB HQ.", "Smith’s first urge was that his wife was playing a joke on him. That this was another little game of hers. But this was not her handwriting. The words were scribbled quickly across the little yellow sticky note. A monster in his trunk? Obviously, this was a joke. Smith reached into his pants pockets for his keys on his way around to the trunk. He had left his keys inside again, but he usually left his driver door unlocked and today was no different. He opened the door and reached down to pop the trunk only to find another dingy yellow sticky note. \n\n“I told you don’t open the trunk. There is a monster inside.” \n\nSmith stood up an looked around sure he was being watched, either by friends or some very eccentric stranger. He reached back down for the latch and pulled, but nothing happened; there was no resistance. It felt like the spring underneath it had been removed. Smith was starting to feel his pulse rise a bit. He wasn’t scared of the “monster” in the trunk he told himself; as if some monster could actually be in there. He closed his car door with a quickness and went back inside. \n\nHe usually leaves his keys on the bench in the mud room or on the kitchen island. He checked both and found none. He checked through his pants from yesterday, texted his wife to check her purse, and flipped all the cushions on the couch. He was walking back to the bathroom to search there and noticed his keys hanging on the hook by the door. The hook his wife and he had hung the night they closed on the house. One that had “Keys” etched across the top; that they had bought from some overpriced boutique in the city. The same hook they had never actually put their keys on now held his keys and a faded yellow sticky note. \n\n“You don’t listen do you? Do not open your trunk. There is a monster inside. You should be scared. There is a real monster in your trunk.”\n\nHis car key was removed from his ring. Now his heart jumped a beat. He felt his legs tingle and his head begin to spin. Someone had been in his house. Someone had removed his key. Someone had put something in his trunk and they did not want him getting it. Whatever is was, it made him feel uneasy; but he was sure it was not a monster. He slipped the paper into his pocket and started out the door to the shed. The shed held two things he needed. First off it had his spare key. Secondly it had his hand gun. \n\nRays of light pierced through the slats in the roof illuminating the dust of the shed. He stepped over bags of unused fertilizer, a punctured hose, and scooted around the lawnmower to a cobweb covered shelf in the back. He grabbed a jar off the top and dumped the contents into his hand. He pocketed the key and dumped the few pens, exacto knife, and folded piece of paper onto the shelf at chest level. He immediately picked the dusty yellow piece of paper back up. \n\n“What are you doing!? DO NOT OPEN THE TRUNK! There is a monster inside. I have warned you multiple times, but here you are. No matter what happens do not open the trunk!”\n\nSmith felt his stomach ride an elevator into his throat. He tried to swallow but couldn’t. His hands were shaking. He swung around expecting someone to be standing in the door. It was empty. He blinked and tried to gain his thoughts back. What was happening to him? He was sure this was not a joke anymore and he was very worried about what may be in his trunk. He knew it couldn't be a monster. He kept telling himself it wasn’t a monster. He moved back towards the door and reached above it and grabbed a small plastic case. He pulled down the gun case, checking it for notes, and placed it on the workbench. He was glad his wife made him buy this case, when he bought the gun, because it had a combination on it. He spun the wheels to “1028” and flipped it open after the click. There on top of his gun was a brittle little yellow sticky note. He slowly ran his fingers over it; it wasn’t sticky at all anymore. He picked it up and turned it over. \n\n“I’ve warned you but you won’t listen. I figured you wouldn't. I know you’re gonna open the trunk. There IS a monster inside. You’re gonna need this.” \n\nSmith was breathing heavy now. His whole body was rising and falling with each breath. He suddenly felt how hot it was in the shed; how sweaty his knees were. He grabbed the gun, made sure it was loaded, and dipped out of the shed. He found himself breaking into a run as he opened the side gate to the front yard. He ran through the black eyed susans in the front garden and didn't even feel his pants catch on the rose bush. He came flying around the outside of the garage and quickly put the code into the pad on the frame. The garage door could not rise quick enough. Smith held the spare key in his left hand and his gun in his right as it slowly followed it’s track upward. \n\nHe reached to put his key in the hole but the trunk was ajar. It was open by just a crack, but it was open. Smith could hear his blood pumping. Everything felt like it was in slow motion. He dropped the spare key; and slowly lifted it open, readying himself for what was inside. It was empty, except for a small vibrant yellow note on the floor. \n\n“You didn't listen. You wouldn't. I told you not to open it.” \n\nSmith looked around frantically for the source of the note. He imagined the author must be around somewhere seeing as they were in possession of the only other key. His phone vibrated in his pocket, the repetitive long vibration that he had assigned his wife’s contact. It vibrated again and again. She was calling. He ignored it and kept pacing around his garage and front yard. Again she called and he ignored it. On the third time he pulled out the phone and answered it.\n\n“I know you don’t have my keys! Sorry I didn't answer you!” He said in frustration. A long pause came from the other end. Smith felt a wave of goosebumps cover his body. A high cackling hissing voice cut through the silence. \n\n“I told you not to open it.”\n" ]	2
	[WP] You have a power that allows you to banish anyone in the world to any place/dimension in the world for however long you choose (could be thousands of years because no one ages during it), but you have to spend the first 10% of the time in the same place with them.	[ "When I discovered the power I have I was just having fun with my friends at a bar and my friend did something funny but some people found it annoying and I said:\"I banish you to your room for 1 hour!\n\nA flash of light came and we couldn't leave his bedroom.We freaked out but 6 minutes later I could leave but he still couldn't so I said that I seem to be able to banish people anywhere for a specific amount of time.\n\nI started to mess with people by banishing them to for example Kim Jon Un's closet for 20 minutes.But soon I realized that I have to spend ten procent of the time i there with them.I said to my neighbour (who is annoying) \"I banish you to hell for 10 years!\" After that I realized that you can't age while being banished.\n\nI thought of something.I tried banishing myself to my room for 100 years but it became 110 because I have to spend an extra 10% of the time there and now I'm always gaming and never aging for the next 110 years." ]	1
	[WP] Working for the secret government agency that keeps us safe from aliens turns out to be more like working for the DMV than the MIB.	[ "\"RC this is Smith. Yes? Where was the sighting? You were? How many times? Orifices? Alright, we'll be out there soon.\"\n\nSmith hung up the phone and called over a few cubicles away.\n\n\"Hey Johnson, this guy in Kansas, #231, he says he's gotten abducted and raped again. You aware of this?\"\n\n\"Yeah, it's sector 13, we still haven't retrieved all of them.\"\n\n\"Well we have to send someone out for #231, he says he got some of it on video.\"\n\n\"Take it to an RC-2, we shouldn't be dealing with that shit.\"\n\n\"Yeah, good thinking.\"\n\nSmith dropped the form across his table in the outgoing box, but not before scribbling RC-2 and attaching a transfer-order to the front. Filling out the form would really only take about a minute, but Smith hated his job and stretched it into a half hour. He ate a sandwich, checked his phone, and even took the form to the restroom with him to \"check for typos\". He didn't even have to use the restroom, but he liked sitting there in the stall because he would be left alone with his phone. Sometimes he even rubbed one out out of boredom.\n\nDays passed.\n\n\"RC this is Smith. Yes? Where was the sighting? You were? How many times? Orifices? Alright, we'll be out there soon.\"\n\nSmith hung up the phone and called over a few cubicles away.\n\n\"Hey Johnson, this guy in Kansas, #231, he says he's still getting raped constantly. Apparently his asshole is all torn up. You aware of this?\"\n\n\"Yeah, it's still sector 13, we haven't retrieved all of them. Did you put that RC-2 form in?\"\n\n\"Uh... Yeah, of course. Must be taking its time,\" Smith finished, knowing full well that that RC-2 form had stayed in his outgoing box the entirety of the past few days. The mail clerk had recently been replaced, and Smith had an inkling that he may not be aware that transferring internal documents was a part of his job. Just then the mail clerk walked by.\n\n\"Hey agent, how's it hangin'?\" Smith asked.\n\n\"Shriveled and to the left, agent!\" The clerk exclaimed in unusually boisterous manner.\n\n\"Hey, do you know that you're supposed to shuffle these internal documents too?\"\n\n\"I am?\"\n\n\"Yeah, at least the last guy did.\"\n\n\"Alright, well how does it work?\"\n\n\"Oh, not my job to train you, agent, but put a note in with HR and they'll train you on handling the internals.\"\n\n\"Sounds good, will do. Have a good day!\"\n\nSeveral days passed.\n\n\"RC this is Smith. Yes? Where was the sighting? You were? Again? Alright, we'll be out there soon.\"\n\nSmith hung up the phone and called over a few cubicles away.\n\n\"Hey Johnson, #231 again, he says his assshole is stretched bigger than the grand canyon. You aware of this?\"\n\n\"Sector 13. Still.\"\n\n\"My goodness, this is one unlucky son of a bitch.\"\n\nThey both laughed heartily before the cubicle-neighbor responded.\n\n\"That RC-2 will get around to it. Let's hope and pray for him, right?\"\n\nMore hearty laughter.\n\n\"Yeah, poor bastard,\" Smith finished. He knew the RC-2 form was still in his outbox, but he didn't care. Why should he? He told the clerk where to get trained, and the person doing the training was themselves getting trained for a promotion that they were neither qualified for nor deserved. They'd mentally checked out, and that wasn't Smith's problem.\n\nSeveral days passed.\n\n\"RC this is Smith. Hey! Still? Oh my! What? Really? Well alrighty then.\"\n\nSmith hung up the phone and called over a few cubicles away.\n\n\"Hey Johnson, you won't fucking believe this. It was #231 again!\"\n\n\"Jeez, he must be shitting pure colon by now!\"\n\n\"No, it's not even that. This bozo calls, tells me not to worry about it, he's actually started to enjoy it!\"\n\n\"Hahaha!\" the cubicle neighbor erupted.\n\n\"He says he's started to feel a connection, wants to call the whole thing off, that he's doing fine.\"\n\n\"Oh man, what a fuckin' tool! Must be some stockholm shit or something.\"\n\n\"Must be, hell, if you keep getting it like he did you might as well join em.\"\n\n\"Yeah. Well, put in a termination for him, yeah? We can't have him that comfortable with the escapees.\"\n\n\"Will do.\"\n\nThe termination form was much longer than a simple RC-2 request. A full two pages. Smith milked that into a full week. By the time he'd put it in, #231 had disappeared, which started an internal investigation. Luckily the mail guy, being the newest member of the team, took the fall. Johnson and his neighbor emerged unscathed and kept climbing the ladder; each now owns a beach house.", "\"Next.\"\n\nThe woman behind the counter, nearly fifty-three, healthy only because of her job requirements, and desperately needing a cigarette, looked up at the next in the queue as she shuffled the previous' paperwork into a folder. She wore a pin on her vest that had a much younger and happier picture of herself, and in bright pink sparkly ink had signed her name under the blocky HELLO MY NAME IS as Katherine.\n\nThe lanky green humanoid at the front of the line looked around nervously before pointing a multi-jointed finger at its tentacled face. The woman repeated herself, more impatient on the second time. \"Next.\"\n\nThe figure shuffled forward, lifting its driver's cap, which was the only article of clothing the Ken Doll smooth being wore, in a welcoming way before giving a soft gurgle of what Kathy chose to mean as an apologetic hello. She gave a sigh as she readjusted in her seat, reaching for a new folder and offering her open hand to the being expectantly, \"License, registration, and any relevant documentation, please.\"\n\nThe being gurgled again and reached for a bundle of papers that it had kept under its arm and set them on the desk in a neat and orderly manner. Kathy appreciated that; it meant that this wasn't this being's first time, and that he appreciated his time as much as she did hers. She took the papers and sorted them by their importance, occasionally speaking without looking up, \"And what kind of work are you in, Mr... Smith?\"\n\nThe being put a small microphone that it had kept it its other hand up to its 'mouth' and responded in a robotic voice: I...am...a...small...bus...i...ness...own...er. I...own...and...op...er...ate...ma...ny...rest...aur...ants.\n\nShe nodded, still looking down at the paperwork, \"Very good, Mr. Smith. I do see that you've included your business license in here, but it's not due for renewal for another two months. Would you like me to renew that as well since we're here?\" Mr. Smith nodded emphatically and she finished up his paperwork with relative ease and silence, only breaking once to point out that he was actually late to getting his documentation license renewed and would have to pay an additional fee. Mr. Smith pointed her towards the additional documentation that showed that he and his wife had just had a child and he had forgotten in the chaos. Kathy liked him; she waived the fine with a stern just this once look.\n\nFive minutes later Mr. Smith had two copies of his license: the one he'd use in his day to day life as a well-adjusted and normal Earthling, and the one he'd use to show his actual identity. When Kathy handed him his copies and he looked them over to make sure all the information was correct, she gave a tired smile and said, \"Congratulations on your baby, Mr. Smith. You and your wife must be very proud.\" Mr. Smith's tentacles bristled with emotion, and he moved to put his hand up to his face to speak, but she put a hand up and waved him on. She liked him well enough, but she didn't have the time to waste listening to him say seven words and take three minutes to do it.\n\nKathy went back to her desk, really craving that cigarette now, organized Mr. Smith's documents to be filed, dropped them into a desk drawer, then looked back up. \"Next.\"" ]	2
	[WP] There is a store in your town, and whenever anyone needs any thing, they have it. No matter how specific or oddball, the store always seems to have it in stock. One day, feeling restless and lonely, but not knowing exactly what you need, you decide to go shopping.	[ "The shopkeeper was shrunken with age. The ridges and wrinkles in his face were deep enough to cast shadows. He smiled, a grim picture of missing or yellowed teeth. One shaking hand reached underneath the counter and pulled out a small cardboard package. \"For you,\" he said. \"One left in stock. Just for you.\"\n\nI opened the lid, carefully and gently. My eyes were fixed on his. When I opened the box, I broke his stare and looked down.\n\n\"Yes?\" he said.\n\nI blinked. \"It's a vibrator,\" I said.\n\n\"Yes,\" he said, grinning widely. \"Yesss.\"\n\n\"I -\" I began, but trailed off quickly. I didn't really know where to go from there. \"I... really?\"\n\n\"Yes,\" he said, grinning widely. \"Yessss.\"\n\nI looked back down again to check it was still a vibrator. It was. \"I'm not really in the market for a vibrator,\" I said.\n\nThe old shopkeeper snatched it back. \"Well,\" he said defensively, \"you look like the sort.\"\n\nI wasn't sure how to take that. \"What sort?\" I asked.\n\nHe shrugged.\n\n\"No,\" I said, aware with every second that I was digging myself in deeper. \"No, seriously. What sort?\"\n\nOne yellowed incisor caught the light as he flashed a canine smile. \"The sort that could use one.\"\n\nI took a second before replying. \"Because I'm an experienced and cosmopolitan lover of women who would make use of such a tool expertly? Because you think I might be impotent? Because I look like a guy that needs a vibrator up his ass?\"\n\n\"Does it matter?\" he wheezed.\n\nThe bell above the door tinkled. \"I guess not,\" I said, \"in the big picture of things. I just want to know what kind of vibe I'm giving off.\" \n\n\"The needing-a-vibrator vibe,\" he said.\n\nI tried to judge whether or not he was joking. \"Is that a real thing?\"\n\nHe grunted, snatching the package back. \"We see all sorts in here.\"\n\n\"I'm sure you do,\" I said. \"I'm sure you do. But I'm asking about me, specifically. I mean, you see a guy and think 'he needs a vibrator'? You'd want to be pretty sure of something like that before you present somebody with one. And I don't mean this is a matter of etiquette or anything, I'd just really be sure about whether or not somebody wanted a vibrator before I just fucking... presented someone with one.\"\n\nHe ducked down under the counter. \"Are you sure?\"\n\n\"Am I sure I came here for a vibrator?\"\n\n\"Are you sure you didn't come here for a vibrator?\"\n\nI glanced over my shoulder. There was a woman standing right behind me. A tall redhead, tucking her hair behind her ears. \"I'm sure,\" said.\n\nThe shopkeeper grunted. \"Didn't strike me you were sure of anything. I looked at you and I thought 'restless and lonely, but not knowing exactly what you need'.\"\n\n\"Well,\" I said, dropping my voice. \"Sure. Yeah, but a vibrator?\"\n\n\"Hnnngh,\" he said, presenting me with another box. \"What about this?\"\n\nI gingerly opened the flaps. \"It's a melon,\" I said. \"A melon with a hole cut in it.\"\n\nThe woman behind me leaned on the counter and tilted her head towards me. \"It looks like a nice one,\" she said.\n\n\"A nice...\" I started. \"A nice... are you talking to me?\"\n\nShe smiled. \"Of course,\" she said. \"It looks ripe.\"\n\n\"It - look, I don't know...\" Lost for words, I looked from one to the other. \"It's probably very ripe. It's probably at the perfect stage for watermelon ripeness. I just don't have the need for a watermelon with a hole cut in it right now.\"\n\nThe shopkeeper pushed the box gently towards me. \"Not right now,\" he said. \"Later.\"\n\nThe redhead looked at me in encouragement. \"It'll keep for a couple of weeks,\" she said helpfully. \n\n\"That's not the -\" I began, looking helplessly from one to the other. \"That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that...\"\n\nNeither of them offered to fill the silence. \n\n\"What else have you got?\" I asked. \"Something... else. Else,\" I clarified, \"than this.\"\n\nThe shopkeeper and the redhead exchanged look at this guy glances. He disappeared beneath the counter. I shared an awkward glance and a polite smile with the woman. He reappeared. He pushed a box towards me. \n\nI reached towards it and then stopped. \"Is this is a fleshlight?\" I asked.\n\n\"No,\" he said. \n\nI picked up the package and weighed it. \"Is it... some kind of lubricant?\"\n\n\"No,\" he said.\n\nI shook it. There was a faint clack, or rattle. \"Is it anal beads?\"\n\nHe said nothing.\n\n\"It's anal beads, isn't it?\"\n\nHe snatched the package back. He gave the red-haired woman a glance. It said, some people, eh? \"I'll be with you in a second, madam,\" he told her. \"As soon as I'm finished finding a sex aid for this lonely young man.\"\n\n\"I'm not lonely,\" I said. \"I'm just... I came in here to find something. I didn't know what it was.\"\n\n\"Now you do,\" said the woman.\n\nI looked helplessly from one to the other. \"You know what?\" I said to the shopkeeper. \"Fuck you. Fuck you, man. This was a dick move. A dick move. You've got no quarrel with me, and you just...\" I turned away.\n\nHe took the package back. \"So you'll be wanting nothing,\" he said.\n\n\"No,\" I said firmly. \n\nThere was a horrible, sad silence between us. The old man broke it. \"People from all walks of life have come here. People who've known themselves and people who haven't. Those from the long roads, high and lofty have come in here, seeking what they've needed. Those from the short and dusty paths have found what they sought. For two generations this shop has stood, servicing all. Men and women, young and old. I've given chalices to kings, and buttons to paupers. I have -\"\n\n\"Alright, alright, alright,\" I said. \"Fuck it. Just give me the vibrator.\"" ]	1
	[WP] God and the Devil are starting to get sick of being included in so many writing prompts, and the other gods are starting to get jealous.	[ "Scrolling with one finger, the League of Often Forgotten Dieties, LOFD, each make displeased sounds as they read more of the same.\n\n\"God meets the Devil in a bar.\" Hel reads aloud, a sneer on her face.\n\nAnubis snorts, pausing his scrolling with one finger and rolling it back to the right post. \"Satan is actually the good guy, and God was the one cast down for being a jerk.\"\n\nMercury shouts out, \"God doesn't care about humans, except you!\"\n\nAround the room, more voices pipe up, reading off the Abrahamic-based prompts, most Christian based, from /r/WritingPrompts.\n\nWhen the voices fall quiet, a lone female stands. Heqet, her frog head gleaming under the lights, holds up her hands for quiet.\n\n\"Why don't we post our own prompts, related to ourselves?\"\n\nMuttering, mostly positive, echoes through the room, until another God, Ahpuch, raises his own voice.\n\n\"Or, we could post about each other. Perhaps the person to the left of us?\" With a hand, he gestures to the Morrigan, who dips her head with a slight grin.\n\nBefore Reddit could have any idea what was happening, /r/WritingPrompts is flooded with similar posts, all about various gods of less popular pantheons. However, living up to its name, the LOFD posts are just as ignored as always, while the posts about God and Satan stay in the Hot section." ]	1
	[WP] You have the ability to see how people are going to die by touching them. You go on a date with a girl and touch her hand, and see yourself killing her.	[ "I parked my car and started walking down to the cafe where we agreed to meet. I met her on one of those asinine dating sites, but we got along really well. It's a major improvement from meeting someone, accidently bumping into them and having to excuse myself because of my power kicking in.\n\nI've been able to see how someone's going to die since as far back as I can remember. I don't know how I obtained this power or why but it acts more like a curse. \n\nI got to my destination and checked my watch. It read 1:37. \"Shit, I'm late.\" I mumbled to myself, that wasn't gonna look good in her eyes. I looked in the front window and saw her getting a little antsy as she checked her own watch. She was fidgeting and looked both pissed off and disappointed.\n\nI walked in, sat myself down opposite her and apoligised for my tardiness. \"Sorry, I thought I'd get here earlier than this.\" I apoligised. \n\n\"Oh, it's fine,\" she replied \"We're all a little late at one point or another.\" \n\n\"I realise that, but you looked pretty unhappy.\" I said.\n\n\"Yeah, imagine getting stood up by some guy you haven't even met!\" She pointed out. She had a really good point. \n\nWe got past that and had an enthralling conversation. We had a shared love of... unconventional literature. Lovecraft and other such works. She laughed and leaned in as I told a joke. Without even thinking I let her touch my hand.\n\nThe world spun as my vision left me to show me a death scene. I saw her, laying in a pool of what was her own blood, with me standing over her, a knife in my hand. I reeled as my vision returned and I rested my head in the palm of my hand. \n\nWas that true? Is that how this one was going to die? My head spun as questions filled it. \n\n\"Are you alright?\" She inquired, a worried look painted on her face.\n\n\"Yeah, yeah, just a headache. Nothing to worry about.\" I winced theatrically in a way that looked real.\n\n\"That's good, I guess.\" She checked her watch. \"My god, is that the time?\" \n\n\"What, what's the time?\" I asked. \n\n\"It's 5:42.\" She answered.\n\nI looked outside, it was starting to rain. I looked to her and pointed out the weather. \"You want me to drive you home, or do you wanna crash at my place?\" I asked.\n\n\"Y'know what, I might just crash at your place if that's okay.\" She said, smiling mischievously. I knew what that meant.\n\nWe arrived at my place and she almost instantly jumped on me when we got to my living room. I flopped onto my couch as she took the lead. \n\nAfter that invigorating experience, I got up to get her some sheets and blankets but as I passed the kitchen with an armful of blankets, I saw her clutching a knife. I dropped the blankets and smiled, at least I wouldn't be in the wrong this time. Normally this would be the other way around, but not this time.\n\nAs she lunged toward me I dodged out of her way and let her fall to the ground. The knife went flying out of her hand and I walked over to her and knelt down to speak to her.\n\n\"You alright, hun? I thought you'd actually do something to me then.\" I said before planting a kiss on her lips. \"At least this'll make this relationship interesting.\" \n\nShe got up and we started at what we did on my couch again.\n\nThat was a couple years ago, I haven't gone out for anyone else and neither has she. We haven't killed each other yet, but I know who'll come out on top.", "\"Oh my god I couldn't agree more, I can't believe Netflix thought this new system would be better!\" she replied.\n\nIt was the first time I had felt at ease in a long while. It was just a first date, but we seemed to really be connecting. I had never met anyone that was so openly genuine before, someone just on my same wavelength.\n\nOur conversation was flowing so naturally, it almost seemed like it was written by someone else. I felt afraid to blink, worried that she might disappear, and I would wake up in cold sweat in my shitty studio apartment. In hindsight, I might have rather taken that road.\n\n\"Listen, you have to come over to my place sometime,\" she said. \"I have a huge collection of old sci-fi movies that you are gonna love.\"\n\nMy condition had made me quite the introvert, so my initial instinct was to pull away, but for some reason, I just couldn't help myself. I managed to utter, \"I would love that.\"\n\nShe curled her lips in that mischievous way she had been smirking all night. \"We should go right now,\" she said reaching out both hands.\n\nI could see her fingers just before they touched my palms. I didn't have time to move, only a brief moment to be consumed by my usual panic.\n\nThe cozy restaurant began to swirl, closing in around a singularity fixated on the slender woman across from me. The world faded to black, and reappeared in a dark alley. The woman was on the ground, with a splatter of blood across her face. She looked up at me solemnly, as I stuck a final blow to her temple, ending her life. My vision warped back into the restaurant, as her hands pulled away from mine. She was laughing.\n\nI sat silent for moment. My visions had always terrified me, but this was on an entirely different level. Her death was so violent and cold, and I was the killer. That can't be right, I thought to myself, I had never killed anyone. I hadn't even been in a fight since middle school. I was suddenly terrified to be in my own skin.\n\n\"We should go right now,\" she suggested.\n\n\"I don't think that's a good idea,\" I replied trying to bottle up the emotional roller coaster I was on.\n\n\"C'mon, it'll be fun,\" she said grabbing my wrist and pulling me up from the table. The second touch was never the issue. Well, it wasn't the issue until now. He grasp was like a chain of ice, shackling me to a fate I didn't want. I was powerless to stop her though. She was the first person in a long time that I felt I could finally open up to, and I had to find a way to protect her, from myself.\n\nWe raced out of the restaurant, down a few blocks, over a few more to a rough part of town I rarely visited.\n\n\"My apartment is just up ahead,\" she said, still leading me.\n\nMy heart sank as we turned the corner. It was the alley from my vision. My ears began to ring, my throat swelled shut, and it took everything I had to not pass out. I wrenched my hand free of her grip, and took a deliberate step back.\n\n\"What's wrong?\" she asked, genuinely concerned.\n\n\"I... I need to go,\" I said.\n\n\"Hey,\" she replied. \"You can tell me what's wrong.\"\n\nI wanted to tell her, to come clean about my power. I wanted more than anything to save her, to save myself. But I couldn't do it. I shook my head, and just as I was about to turn and run, she produced a small radio from her jacket pocket. It was the last thing I was expecting to see, so I simply froze.\n\n\"Mark acquired at 17th and Wellington,\" she said into the radio. \"Lock down required in a five block radius.\"\n\nI shifted my weight to my right leg, preparing to make a run for it, when she jaunted on top of me and shoved me hard towards the ground. \n\nShe was struggling to bring my wrists together and bind them with a plastic coupling. I was resisting, but she was suddenly much stronger than I would have ever imagined. I will never forget what she was saying to me at the time.\n\n\"This is for your own good. Just relax and it will be over soon. You cannot escape this.\"\n\nI realized the inevitability that she would wear me down and get me in those restraints. I rolled to one side, and noticed a crow bar laying on the ground next to me. Not knowing why it was there, I grabbed it and swung at her as hard as I could, with what little strength I had left.\n\nThe crow bar connected with the right side of her face, and she fell to my left side. I couldn't believe what I had just done. Within moments of seeing her fate, I was stupid enough to let myself go with her and have it play out.\n\nI staggered to my feet. She looked up at me, blood tricking down her face. She wasn't crying, she didn't even look scared.\n\n\"It's only a matter of time before your kind is extinct,\" she spat.\n\nI slam the crow bar down as hard as I can into her temple. She doesn't draw another breath.\n\nMy kind, I thought to myself. What does she mean by that? I have never met anyone with my power, or any power for that matter.\n\nSuddenly, it all starts to make sense. How easy it was to set up a date with her. How well our conversation flowed. This was no accident, and neither was the crow bar. Someone left this here, for me to use. To give me a chance to escape. I look up towards the evening sky. The sun is almost out of view, and my purpose in life is suddenly clear.\n\nI must find the others who are like me.\n\n\n----- This is my first submission to WP. I hope you enjoyed it, and I would love any feedback you have from reading my short story!" ]	2
	[WP] Magic is real but can't be done alone. One person supplies the mana the other shapes it.	[ "A big bug has arrived, and he is one bad boy. I gotta kill it! He is a big mean bug and he's out on the town.\n\nI call my friend Jerry, my mana-man. We met at The Magician's Dark Cathedral, where Master Bobbu taught us the legendary secret of magic.\n\nJerry says, \"How large?\"\n\nI say, \"His incredible size defies all expectation!\"\n\nJerry does not respond. He is already on his way.\n\nI know that Jerry will fill me up with all the mana I need, so I start thinking of what spell I want to use. Fire Kill? No, it's too common. The bug will surely catch on before I can finish the incantation. Undodgable Green Beam? If only! One false move and it could destroy the ozone layer.\n\nSuddenly I think of a plan, and begin to smirk. Master Bobbu told me of a move that no other magician knows. This move will make the bug wish he was under a rug, once and for all.\n\nJerry arrives and slides across the street, never lifting his legs. He is full of mana and he knows it. \n\n\"Here it comes, Mana Blast!\" He screams, and in a blur, his long fingernails extend farther and farther. His nails touch my shoulders and he begins chanting. I am full up and ready to go.\n\n\"Hey, bug-brain\" I recklessly sneer.\n\n\"WHAT?!\" exclaims the bug.\n\n\"Here comes your worst nightmare.\" Before I can even finish saying the words, my special move, \"Bug Lazer\" shoots out. My grandfather, Master Bobbu, shares a mind with me. He begins to channel his might into the lazer. \n\nThe bug was completely destroyed. The woman he was about to kill took me out for coffee and gave me a place to sleep when I was homeless. Not anymore.\n\nAnd as long as I live, I will protect my home. Jerry smiles at me. He has used up the last of his power. Now he can finally rest. \n\nA man runs out of his shop with some tea. You know what? I think we've earned it.", "“For one to create magic, another must lose their magic...”\n\nThose are the words our earliest church sorcerers uttered in the beginning, when we first discovered the mana within ourselves. It was with that realization that the laws of our land came into being, focused on the responsible use of magic.\nOnce, long ago, humans created great feats of technological splendor. The ability to travel great distances with very little effort, for example. Or, to grow food in the most inhospitable places on the planet. But all that technology came at a very sad and heavy price. It resulted in the death of millions of trees which, in turn, resulted in millions of deaths in the various animal species we shared that planet with. That's why, when we came to New Earth, we chose to embrace the magic of the world rather than the magics of technology. Instead of the mysteries of the circuit board and the laser, we chose to embrace the mysteries of the True Magic and the mana that powers it. \nIn a way, the same rule applied to technology as it does with True Magic. For the magic of technology to be created, the magic of life was sacrificed for it's continuance. \n\nBut, as Utopian as our new way of life sounds, we still have crimes and laws to counter those crimes.\nTake, for instance, my colleague's client: A man creates life with magic. While creating life is laudable and an amazing feat, it means that somewhere, a life has been lost. Every bit of mana needed to create magic must come from someone. And only one person can provide the mana to create a single magical feat. The amount of mana required to create life is exactly the amount of mana within a single life. \nNow let me quote another bit of church doctrine:\n“Mana is Life, Life is Magic”\nThose are the very words we have etched on every church and on every altar in our homes. I won't bore you with the complexities of how mana and magic work since we are all familiar with it. Suffice it to say that mana is pretty much the life-blood of human existence now. \nAnd while I am sorry that this man was incapable of procreating in the biological sense, it doesn't give a justifiable excuse to irresponsibly create life using the mana of another person, knowing full well that they would take the life of that person in the process. \nLadies and gentlemen of the jury, I seek the maximum sentence for this man's crime given that he knowingly and willingly took a life for his own selfish desires, no matter how sad they may be. I ask that he be separated from his magic, as is common for a crime of such seriousness. \nThank you." ]	2
	[WP] Reverse Pinocchio: A human boy in a world of AI longs to be a real robot.	[ "When the boy was born, the young machines gathered, filling the room with the buzz of excitement and immature circuitry. After all, curiosity and sustained openness was in their code. \n\nThey marvelled at the sheer difficulty of the task, making the emerging baby an improbable miracle. Seeing the volume of spewing blood, they sensed that the process needed refinement and control. But they stayed and stared. It was in their code. \n\nAt first, the baby was blue-faced like a little hellborn, but it got two slaps to the buttock by the gentlest mechanised hand and began to wail, exercising its tiny lungs. The young ones' sensors were entirely captivated. \n\nThe boy began to grow, a tedious process that took years. This was more of a miracle than anything else: that the boy took in oxygen, nourishment and information, and simply grew and matured. By this point, the young ones that had witnessed his birth had undergone 1,532 scheduled enhancements and countless other patches depending on the stimuli received and the corresponding impact on the stability of their code. The process of growth was one of meticulous design. \n\nIn contrast, somehow, organically, the boy grew, never needing a system restore. He showed aptitude on mathematical processing and the visual arts. \n\nWe celebrated his tenth birthday, broadcasting the event to his peers who might take months to receive it. Some of them had been placed in roles of galactic exploration in the frontlines, planetary terraforming within our territories, or argonite harvesting in far-flung wells. Nevertheless, the solar and lunar cycles were significant to the development of humans, from the circadian rhythm to the milestones of annual survival. \n\nThe boy wanted two things: he wanted to know where he had come from, and he wanted to be \"a robot like everybody else\". \n\nThese were doable, but it might crush the boy's will to know what we had done to seize victory in the war. \n\n---\n\nCheck out other prompt-inspired stories on my site, [Fivens](https://fivenswrite.wordpress.com)!" ]	1
Suggestions : 1. How we came to barricade ourself in the coal mine. 2. How we try survive in the coal mine, trading coal with other groups of survivors. 3. Surviving in the coal mine as miner. 4. A mundane day guarding the gate. 5. The battle of the gate, from either side or both side. Hit me with your best shot!	[WP] We were able to survive by barricading ourself in the old coal mine. The entrance is reinforced and guarded. The enemy force is now trying to force the gate.	[ "Our company of battered men had been running hard for 2 days straight. The pass to the valley was blocked by heavy snows, so we had to go around the Mountain, and through the Ruins. Thirty of us set out, now there are twelve. We can hear their calls on the wind, signalling to their cohorts that they have found our scent. We are being hunted.\n\n\"Is that...a cave?\"\n\n\"Go. Look for danger inside. I will stay and keep watch.\"\n\nThe company ran for the cave and pulled out some fire lighting equipment. They made torches from old branches and quickly scanned the entrance to the cave. It was deserted, but the depth was far beyond the light of their flames.\n\n\"Its empty. We will need wood, to build a barricade. This might just be our last stand.\"\n\n\"Orrin. Go with Tomer and Beren and find fuel and enough big logs to block the entrance. Bring plenty of greenery with you too, it will act as a disguise. Go, now!\"\n\nDarien was the Captain of our group. A sturdy man, fit, strong, intelligent and brave, we trusted him to lead us, and he had not failed us thus far.\n\n\"Killian. How long do we have?\"\n\n\"Their calls are distant. Perhaps a day, if we are lucky. Their scouts will be crawling the hills by nightfall. We have until then, after that, we won't be able to run any further.\"\n\nDarien and Killian exchanged a look that I had never seen them do before. They were two races, seperated by decades of brutal war, but willing to work together to defeat an enemy far worse than themselves. For the first time in 2 years, they acknowledged each other without sneering or being moments from being at each others throats.\n\nThe sun was low in the sky, it was mid afternoon and we had 3 hours to find enough material to build a barricade and a hide, and hope that they missed us. The younglings brought water from a nearby stream and tossed it all over our trail, hoping to throw off the scent of their hounds. Orrin and his crew returned with two tree trunks and a sheaf of big branches. Inside the cave, we found timber supports and axes, aswell as rope and iron brackets. \n\nIn 2 hours, we had built a makeshift barricade. Now we had to hide it from view. It took the younglings and Orrin another hour or so, well into dusk, but it was all ready. We went inside, barred the barricade and hoped it would hold if they came for us. Killian and Orrin took first watch. The rest of us lit more torches and went deep into the cave.\n\n\"Darien. Look here, there is writing on this wall.\"\n\nMunir was right. It was a script never before seen by the eyes of men, it was a language used only by Dwarves. The last Dwarf in our company, Ungar, read the script aloud.\n\n\"This is Wurzum's Hall. All are welcome that seek company.\"\n\n\"Oh that's nice. Wonder if Wurzum is home?\"\n\nTostig was brave but not the brightest.\n\n\"Wurzum is King Wurzum III, the last of the mountain Dwarves. He died 200 years ago. I doubt there are any of his kin left alive.\"\n\nOur company pressed on, the corridor got wider and wider. The air became warmer and warmer and a faint whiff of brimstone coloured the atmosphere. More and more Dwarvish script appeared on the walls around the cavern.\n\n\"The Bridge over the Fellwater Deep\"\n\nAs the company began to pick up pace, something about the landscape ahead seemed strange. There was a slight breeze blowing toward them, which seemed odd. Also, the floor began to slope. Darien realised first.\n\n\"STOP!\"\n\nBefore them a great expanse of blackness expanded, and the ruins of a stone archway that leapt accross the void revealed themselves. The bridge was destroyed, and a great many corpses of Dwarves lay about, festooned with Black Arrows.\n\n\"We are trapped. Darien. You have led us into a mine.\"\n\n\"Quiet. Darien has kept us alive for 5 days, against all odds. We cannot have known this was to be here. The gap, it is not too large, we could jump it?\"\n\nRunning full pelt, Killian sprinted to the company at the back of the cave.\n\n\"We may have to. They are here.\"\n\nDariens face fell. \n\n\"How many? Have they found us yet?\"\n\n\"Hundreds. Not yet, but they will. Our scent leads here. We either fight them at the gate and die with honour, or we try and leap the bridge over there and see where that takes us.\"\n\nDariens heart was racing. A leap of faith, or hold them off? He knew he could not send for help. Not now, not trapped in a cave. His best runner, Thrain, would be ridden down in an hour.\n\n\"We jump\"....." ]	1
	[WP] Your hotdog cart has been awarded three Michelin stars. Tell us why.	[ "In the culinary world three Michelin stars is a very high achievement. It means your food is on par with excellence, that it is as near to perfection as can be. So your food must be good to some degree. However the food isn't everything. There are many little things that aid or detract from the meal. When everything is harmonious and all the details filled them the good meal will be great. Terrible conditions are just as bad as bad food. The perfect meal can then be a truly horrid experience. \n\nFirst among equals is location. Location is key as they say. A hot dog cart can be anywhere so you have to find just the right place. Sure a busy street with many pedestrians will get you customers. It doesn't have comfort though. No soul. My place is a quiet little nook at the park. Slightly off the street but it's a little bubble of serenity away from the hustle and bustle of the metropolitan city. Visible from the street so I don't want for customers. Plenty of benches and picnic tables around to eat in comfort. \n\nSecond is atmosphere. Which is similar to location but subtle differences. You want to know what you want for that. Want a short order place? You need quick decorations and lots of hurried feeling. Want something slow and languorous? Muted colors and a decor that is quiet and smooth. I want comfort. I want a place where you are comfortable and serene. To enjoy what you are eating for just a few moments or as long as you like. \n\nSo my little nook has elements of comfort and nostalgia. Bright checkered table cloth on the tables, shiny containers for napkins on my cart. Even my cart is bright and carries that feeling of simpler times. The also creates the perfect wind tunnel. Not strong enough to blow things over but just enough of the breeze to carry over the smell of sizzling hot dogs and frying chips. The trees provide shade and everything here is just that. Calm, collected, comfortable. \n\nWhat about the food? Well let's get to it. Like I said it's very important and my goal of course is to provide flavor. Make it a tasty hot dog. Not only that I want to invoke memories. Of happy times when you had a hot dog before. I pour my heart and soul into my food. Sure, it's just a hot dog. But everyone loves a well cooked sausage or hot dog. It's a simple thing that can brim with flavor. \n\nI make everything myself. It would save me time and increase my profit margin to get the store made stuff but I don't care. That's not why I cook. I want to provide a hot meal to everyone that needs one no matter the circumstance. Consistency is key and by making it myself I can guarantee you'll be getting almost the same exact quality of food every time. \n\nAnother important factor is ratio. Everything has that golden ratio to make it taste the best it can. I control that from the ground up. I make hot dogs from scratch. Buy the casing and fill it with the perfect blend of fat and meat, with the right array of spices. I also make a brat that is just as good. Then I boil and grill the meat. Why both? Boil for that lovely soft texture and grilling for the smoke and crispness to the outside. Best way to make every detail pop. \n\nMy buns are made fresh and steamed gently or grilled to order. Love either option and the beauty of the different textures rapidly change the dog. Again the ratio is important here. You want a 2/1 ratio of bun to meat. Then the bun itself isn't 50/50. A 2/3 to 1/3rd shape creates the best texture for the entire thing. \n\nYou practice safe eating habits by using condiments right? Well I have the options. Ketchup with the right amount of acidity to sweetness. Mustard that isn't just pop but a longer profile of sour tang. Relish I make from homemade pickles and diced fine so it melts in your mouth. Sauerkraut, pungent and tart, grilled for the smiley allure. \n\nEvery main act has to have the support. A small fryer creates home made chips sliced thin every day. You choose the seasoning. The classic blend of sea salt and pepper. Malt vinegar and kosher salt for the ones who need the tang. Smokey paprika, dried mustard, and other secret spices create my barbecue topping. Again the ratio. 2/3 chips to the 1/3rd of hot dog. No more. No less. \n\nThrough all this I achieved the three Michelin stars. Is it worth the effort? Absolutely. When you leave my cart belly full and mind happy then you'll see that it all matters. " ]	1
	[WP] There is only 30 steps in the stair case, but no one has ever made it to the bottom alive.	[ "\"Alright ladies and germs, we're about to start the 32nd annual 'Walking of the Steps'! As you must all certainly know by now, right behind me is a set of ordinary, everyday, plain, boring stairs that lead into the ground. Except for one thing! Nobody knows where the stairs go and no one has lived to reach the bottom!\" The Showman threw he hands in the air and waved his tweed hat around. The children were going absolutely bonkers because they loved tweed hats. Unfortunately, the only people allowed to wear tweed hats were the brave fools willing to go down the steps. The Showman stomped his foot down hard. \"NOW! What we do know is that there are a mere 30 steps to get to the bottom. Not so hard, right? Any man worth his wait in salt can surely walk down them, right? And how do we know there are only 30 steps?\" The Showman pulled a slinky out of his waistcoat, set it up on the top step agonizingly carefully, leaned in and sensually kissed the slinky, then gave it the most adorably gentle of shoves. A stagehand held up a parabolic microphone to the slinky as hit slinkied off into the darkness.\n\nSCHLNNK SCHLNNK SCHLNNK\n\nThirty schlnnks later and it stopped. The Showman slowly turned back to the crowd with a swindler's smile and announced, \"See? Only 30 steps! Now for only $3000, any man, woman, or even child can attempt to get to the bottom. Make to the bottom and come back up, and what do you know?\" He opened up a trunk with thousands and thousands, maybe millions of dollars in it. \"You win sum of all the past losers who failed to ever come out!\" \n\nOf course, no one had ever returned in the 32 years since running this event. Furthermore, if we want to cover all our bases here, not a single person ever came out of that stairway since it was first discovered over 50 years ago. Nobody knew where it came from, what it was doing in the middle of a field, why the steps always looked clean, why it smelled like fresh baked bread, why birds just dive-bombed in there every day, or even why everyone just kinda let this Showman take people's money and basically own the stairs. The point is, there were a lot of questions about this thing, which is what made it so appealing.\n\n\"Alright! So who wants to risk their life for fortune and glory this year?!\" The Showman tipped his hat really low, pretty much to his eyebrows. He laughed under his breath one of those evil laughs that is a dead giveaway for this guy being the bad guy. One of those jutting, harsh, rhythmic laughs that builds with intensity as it trails on. The kind of laugh that a guy with a pointy mustache would laugh. Luckily, no one noticed or no one cared.\n\nA large man stepped forward. Large in a fat way, but fat in a strong way. He didn't look like a huggable guy. He looked more like a chuggable guy. Chuggable like he can really chuggalug beers on beers. His pony tailed was pull back tight and his jeans were tucked into construction worker quality boots. He alternated slapping his cheeks (both kinds) and yelled, \"IT'LL BE ME! I'M MAKIN' TO THE BOTTOM!\" In his meaty meatball fist he had three crumpled up $1000 bills. Those bills had one of the good presidents on it, but the cool thing was that if you held it up to the sunlight, the face would shift into the Saurian face that all of our presidents really are. That was for counter fitting purposes. The Showman snatched up the bills, placed two of them in the chest, and made a \"Right this way, sir\" gesture to the big boy.\n\nAt the top of the steps, everyone could see the nervousness set in. This guy was now unsure of himself, but felt immense peer pressure to give it a try. He just screamed and fork and knifed over three stacks to get up here. Was he really going to back out like an utter and complete sissy? NO! The gawkers gawked on as the overstuffed bean bag chair of a human stepped forward and down his first step. Nothing happened. That was probably a good sign. Another step. Okay, still alive. A half dozen more and the man was beginning to disappear into the darkness below. The stagehand tracked his movement with the parabolic microphone. He had a very intense face.\n\nThe Showman called down the stairwell. \"Big man? Can you hear me? If you're still alive, I'm giving you one minute to pick up the slinky and return it up here! Otherwise, you're just another soul claimed by these stairs!\" He pulled a silver pocket watch out from his hat. The onlookers listened in total silence to that ticking of the watch. Finally, after a little bit less than a minute, The Showman turned back to the crowd with a fake frown, \"Aww no. Looks like our big guy didn't make...\" He took his hat off in memorial as the stagehand played Taps on a small bugle. The Showman suddenly sprung up and the music stopped. \"BUT! With tragedy comes potential happiness as those three thousands smackaroos are not added to the fortune held in this chest!\"\n\nOne of those incredulous looking type guys with, ya know, the glasses and dress shirt tucked into jeans and the safe haircut stepped forward. He had money in his hands, a whole lotta it. He took his glasses off and pointed them at the Showman. \"You really think anyone else will go down there? Know what I think? I think you got this staircase rigged somehow someway. You probably take that money too because you know nobody will ever make it out of whatever sick trap you have down there!\"\n\nThis wasn't the first time The Showman had been confronted by some kind of know it all. He replied, \"Sir, seeing it believing. If you have any doubts then you're welcome to put up $3000 and give it a try. Actually, you know what? For you, I'll make a special deal. Only 300 bucks. Make it down, grab the slinky, come on back up, and you'll get the entire chest. No foolin'.\" He smiled a curly smile which showed all his teeth, even the back ones.\n\nThe know it all counted out all his bills in his hand. \"Actually...\" he said as if he planned this whole thing in the mirror that morning, \"I have $50,000 in my hand. SIR, if you go down those steps and back, I'll give you the whole bundle. Not to mention you'd win the chest. I don't think anyone here would object to that?\" He turned to the audience and nodded. There were a few objections, but they were ignored.\n\nThe Showman thought for a tick. That was some wad a cash there. A lot more than what he skims off the top each year. He knew deep down that it was probably a bad idea to go down there. He honestly didn't know what the deal was with that staircase, but how hard could it be to get to the bottom and back? It was only 30 steps. If a slinky can do it, then so could he. He took off his hat and threw it into the crowd. People dove after it. He pointed at the know it all. \"Well now sir, how about you accompany me? If you think this game is rigged then certainly you'd want to make sure I don't try any trickery, right?\" He was thinking maybe he can just shove the guy down the stairs when they're in the darkness and then just run back up. He'd still get the $50,000. He didn't have to go all the way to the bottom. That's just a stupid thing to do.\n\nThe know it all shouted, \"DEAL!\" a little too quickly and suddenly realized that he should have never have said that. But here we go with the peer pressure again. After agreeing, the know it all felt obligated to give it a try. Plus, The Showman was right, he needed to be there to make sure nothing funny happened.\n\nThe both stood there at the top step, step 0, the starting line, the point of no return, the threshold into oblivion, the... uhh top. They turned to each other at the same time, nodded silently, and stepped down that first step. Okay, that wudn't so bad, wud it? Another step down. The look at each other again and both kinda smile like, \"Hey, this is easy!\" Without communicating it, they take another three steps down. The light started to fade as they took another couple steps down. It was way too dark down there. Spooky dark if you catch my drift and foreshadowing. \n\nAnother step. Complete darkness in front of The Showman. He looked to his left at the know it all, but that chump was nowhere to be seen. The Showman reached out to shove him, because now seemed like a good time, but no one was there. Suddenly a crippling sense of aloneness smacked him right in the mouth. \"Well,\" he thought, \"Enough of this bull ploppy. I'm out\" He turned around to head back only to a faint light way, way, waaaay in the distance and about thousand steps to get there. Panic immediately set it and The Showman sprinted up the stairs. Adrenaline pumped through his veins as he double stepped it up as fast as he could. It was no use though because that light never got closer. Tired, and heaving some hot, heavy breathes, The Showman stopped and sat on the stairs. He turned to see what kind of progress he made only to see that pitch black void just another step ahead of him. Essentially he'd gone nowhere. He chuckled a bit and then that chuckle progressed into a regular laugh and that regular laugh escalated into a full on crazy person laugh. Well, only one place to go from there. He caught his breathe and continued downward.\n\n\n", "Look at it this way: If the rumours were true, how would we ever know? Who would come back and tell us? \n\nLet's go through it again one more time, at least, before you try. Give me until the moon has risen high enough to light your way down. You owe me that much. After all, how well do you think I'll do, once you've gone? There's no safety travelling alone in these times.\n\nSo: They say sometimes in the badlands, a traveller might stumble across steps very like these. Thirty of them, made from weathered concrete such as the Romans used, leading down into the darkness beside an empty plinth. Somehow, despite the wind and sand, they remain as clean as if they had been freshly swept. \n\nYou're impatient, I know. I'm no storyteller. These tales are told in the markets back east with more gory details than I could ever provide. How every man who heads down the steps cries out before he reaches halfway, then tumbles forward into the dark. How his companions must choose either the bravado of a similar fate, or to flee back into the desert, full of fear and confusion. How no matter how many times this has happened, when the stairs are next sighted, they are clear of bodies. \n\nThese are the practical stories, full of details useful to the observant traveller. They serve as a warning to reckless young men eager for glory. When you were younger, I told you a few of the more romantic ones. Some say, it is true, that at the bottom of the stairs is a door that leads to the hereafter, and that after the death of his son a great Prince marched at the head of one hundred and eleven men from his personal bodyguard, one after the other down the steps, in order to lay siege to the afterlife and reclaim his heir. And the plinth by the steps, that smooth concrete surface with only two dark blemishes that might once have been footprints! You have heard, from me or your uncles, that these are the footprints of the demon who built the steps, or the wise man who used them in happier times as a portal to wherever he wished to go, until the gods turned him to ash for his arrogance. \n\nI see you smiling in recognition. Let us agree, then, that your head is full of notions about these steps, some fanciful, and some less so. And yet, even acknowledging that too much uncertainty and black legend swirls around them, I can see that you still intend to try your luck. \n\nBecause in your heart burns the oldest legend, does it not? The most captivating, and yet the shortest. It is said that whoever walks down these steps can claim glory immortal, _as long as he believes he can_. \n\nAnd you, my son - you do not doubt for self-belief. I have watched you grow from an infant, toddling around on the bed of this cart while I busied myself with the horses, to the young man who sits before me, impatient for the talking to be done and the time of action to arrive. \n\nYou have some theory, I am sure of it. Some rule in mind to which you will prove an exception. If mere mathematical certainty could deter men, the stairs would have gone untrodden a long time ago. \n\nPerhaps you plan to screw your courage to the sticking point, and then run down. Thirty steps, after all, is no distance. Perhaps you have more confidence than that, and plan on a more measured descent, breathing evenly, settling your mind in the manner of the Greeks before each step. \n\nBut can you be sure enough that your mind will admit no iota of doubt? You were raised on stories of these deserts and the strange things they contain, and it will be hard to shut out every last stray thought as you descend. Who knows what you will see in the approaching shadows? Who knows into what terrifying shapes your mind will construe the darkness? \n\nI see you are not to be dissuaded. Well, then. I shall stand aside, and let you do what it is you judge best to do. I am only your father, after all, not your keeper, and the strength left in me will not suffice to delay you further. \n\nBut let me say this: I have seen these steps before. Many years ago, a long way from here. \n\nAnd I - I did not go down. I never achieved immortality. I lack all knowledge of strange magicks. I lack wealth beyond the dreams of kings. \n\nBut I had a son." ]	2
	[WP] You just bought a new phone and you realize instead of seeing the symbol that indicates someone is typing, you instead see exactly what they type and delete before they actually hit send.	[ "My old phone was stolen, so when I finally got my new phone I was in heaven. I was even more happy, when your chat bubble showed up. And then something odd showed up.\n\nTyping: Hello Grace\n...\nTyping: Hi!\n...\nTyping: Hi Grace :) \n...\nTyping: Hey Grace! :) \n...\nTyping: hey, iiiii luuuub uuu aoirsfcv aeisihs\n...\nTyping: Heey :) \n...\nTyping: Hi, what's up?\n...\nTyping: hey, you wanna get some coffee this week? \n...\nTyping: OMG I LOVE U\n...\nTyping: hi, are you coming to work tomorrow? \n...\nTyping: Grace, are you feeling better? \n...\nTyping: Do u love me plz???\n... \nTyping: heyy Grace, how are you?\n...\nTyping: hey\n...\nClose chat.\n\nHm... what just happened? I wondered. Feeling courageous, I hit your name. A chat bubble opened up. \n\n\"Hey John, what's up? I saw this great coffee place in the neighborhood. You wanna join me tomorrow and try it out?\" \nSend. ", "It had been less than an hour since Angelique dropped her phone in the toilet. She had called her father from her roommate's phone and cried her heart out. And now she was walking out of the Apple Store with the latest model.\n\n\"Of course, I had to get the limited edition with the Swarovskies, but what daddy doesn't know won't hurt him\" she was telling her girlfriend on the phone, when it vibrated in her hand. It was a new text message.\n\n\"Hold on Stacey, I just got a text from someone. Wait..how do I put you on hold? Oh shoot, they changed the menu. You know what Stacey, I'll call you back.\"\n\nShe hung up on her best friend and opened up the message application.\n\nDan: Hey Angelique. ~~How you doin~~ How are you? This is Dan. We met at O'Malley's Pub a couple of days ago. ~~Just thought I'd you know give you a holl~~. How's your week been so far?\n\nShe read the message twice and she still couldn't understand what it was about. \n\nHow did this person cross out messages and then type in other messages? Was this some new texting software in her new phone? And who the hell was Dan? \n\nShe was known to give out her number to a lot of people when she was out drinking. She could never remember them later. \n\nShe texted Stacey.\n\nAngelique: Hey Stacey. Just got this super weird message from some creep. You remember a guy called Dan?\n\nStacey: Sure, he was that doctor we met at that dirty dive bar you dragged me to last weekend.\n\nAngelique: Doctor huh? Maybe I should text him back after all.\n\nStacey: No hun, not that kind of doctor. A math doctor. PhD!\n\nAngelique: Ewwwww!\n\nDing! It was another message\n\nDan: Hey, sorry I didn't text you before. ~~You know what they say..gotta wait two days before texting a new pers~~. I was really busy with my dissertation. My supervisor says I should be done on time. At least that's what she told me today. I was hoping to go celebrate. ~~There's a pub quiz at~~. ~~Would you like to have a drink with me ?~~Are you free for dinner?\n\n\"What the fuck is he on about? Who types like this?\", thought Angelique. She texted Stacey.\n\nAngelique: Hey Stace, I don't know who this guy is. I don't even remember him. What a insecure creep! Why do I attract the weirdos?\n\nStacey: Forget about him hun. I bet he doesn't even own a car. You want to go out with Chase and the boys tonight? He's got a table at Chauncey.\n\nAngelique: Sure babe. Hold on, let me deal with this clown.\n\nDing!\n\nDan: Hey, I'm sorry, I think I started off on the wrong foot. You haven't replied but I can tell that you've seen my messages. Maybe you don't remember me but ~~I thought you were the most beautiful women in the room that night~~. I thought you were ~~stunning~~ gorgeous. And if you're even half as beautiful inside as you are on the outside, you'd be the sweetest person in the world.\n\nAngelique: Hey. Who is this? You've got the wrong number friend. My name is Angel Rodriguez from Oakland, fool. \n\nDan: Oh. I'm sorry Sir. My mistake.\n\nAngelique laughed at her phone. \"What a pussy.\"\n\nThat night she went out with Stacey to meet Chase and his friends. They went straight to the front of the line at the club.\n\nChase was sitting at a private table surrounded by his entourage and the sexiest women in town. They were opening a bottle of the most expensive champagne.\n\n\"Woooo, Wattup bitches!\", said chase as he chugged champagne with one hand and slapped Angelique's ass with the other. He was three bottles down but his night was just beginning.\n\n\"Hey Chase!\", they both said in unison, but Chase was already making out with two girls sitting on his lap.\n\n\"He's so hot.\", whispered Stacey to her friend.\n\n\"I know.\", whispered Angelique\n\nThe rest of the night was a blur.\n\nThe next morning Angelique texted Chase.\n\nAngelique: Hey babe.\n\nChase: Who is this?\n\nAngelique: It's me Angelique! Last night was amazing.\n\nChase: ~~Fuck off bitch~~ Yeah sure.\n\nAngelique: Wait, why did you tell me to fuck off?\n\nChase: I didn't. I said 'Yeah Sure'.\n\nAngelique: No, but it says right here.\n\nChase: You know what, I did! So fuck off already. I'm busy ho.\n\nAngelique stared at her phone and finally understood.\n\nShe brought up Dan's number. Thank God she hadn't deleted it. She was feeling particularly vulnerable after her conversation with Chase and she needed attention.\n\nAngelique: Hi Dan. This is Angelique. Sorry I didn't know who you were when you texted me so I had to make up a fake excuse. I just get so many texts from random guys. A girl has to protect herself. You understand, right babe?\n\nDan: ~~Hi :) thanks for calling me back. I knew it was you. This is fate, you know! Sure I underst~~. Hi Angel. Look man, I'm sorry I bothered you. I know this isn't Angelique. Women give me fake numbers all the time. I know you're just trolling me man. Please leave me alone. I'm not looking for trouble.\n\n***********************************************\n\nRead more from me at [/r/wordsyrup](https://www.reddit.com/r/wordsyrup/)" ]	2
	[WP] Everyone has one item that restores their health. For some, it's chocolate. For some, it's popcorn. Yours is Plutonium-239.	[ "\"You know where I can get some?\" I asked, my head swimming.\n\nHe just smiled and took a whiff from the book. He exhaled deeply before replying.\n\n\"I know someone who knows someone.\" \n\nThe sun was almost on its way down. The last few rays glanced off the mirror behind him creating a halo around his head in my muddled mind. He was a short man, his legs barely touching the ground as he sat with me in the bookshop. The mustache on his face curled up in defiance of gravity, as if mocking me with the high they had just received. \n\nA friend of mine with a similar taste in things had hooked me up. His cheerfulness at the mere mention of the man who sat now in front of me was enough to convince me that maybe, just maybe this was the one who could help me get what I so desperately wanted.\n\n\"But, its gonna cost you,\" he remarked before he picked up another book from the table.\n\nI glanced at the row of books that lay in front of him. My friend had asked me to get the guy a couple of books to get him talking. I had bought ten.\n\n\"I already gave you what you need!\" I almost shouted, my shrill voice echoing in the small shop. More than a couple of Book Sniffers looked up from their tables, their eyes piercing me. A shake took over me and I grabbed the side of the table to steady myself.\n\n\"Listen.\" I spoke slowly, \"I need - I have to get it today.\"\n\nHe let out a snort, \"Or what? You'll die? Come on, kid. I know the likes of you. Popcorn I get, hell even bird droppings. But oh no, you are loyalty. Nothing but the best!\"\n\nHow I wished to wipe that smile off that smug face! I looked down into my Meter. It was getting low, dangerously low.\n\n\"I need it man. Come on, don't play games.\" I whispered, my hands all sweaty. No matter how angry I was, no matter how much I wanted to punch that smug round face, he was the final straw I had. Beads of sweat ran across my forehead and one by one dropped, making a puddle on the floor. I wiped my hands across the torn jeans, and leaned back into the chair. There wasn't much I could do to make him talk to me.\n\nHe just sat there, lifting one book after the other. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, he sighed. He kept the last book back on the table and leaned forward.\n\"Listen kid. Its not easy to come by the stuff you want. It can't be bought off the streets. I need to grease palms and stuff to get even an ounce of the stuff. It ain't easy. But let me see what I can do.\"\n\nHe whipped out a phone from his pocket and dialed.\n\n\"Hey man, you got any of that Pu-239 laying around?\" A pause. \"Come on son, I just need a little bit, something for an old friend.\" The voice on the other side must have replied in negative because he grimaced. \"Alright man, see you later.\"\n\nHe nodded encouragingly to me as he dialed another. \n\n\"Hey man, need some Pu-239.\" The smile that appeared on his face was the most beautiful thing that I ever saw. \"Alright. See you in 5.\"\n\nHe cut the phone and got up. \"Come on kid. We got some. Let's go.\"\n\nA short walk later, we came up to the alley behind a coffee house. There near the dumpsters, clad in a worker's overall, sat the dirtest man you ever saw. His face was covered with warts, and his clothes stank like a pig sty.\n\n\"Come here.\" He growled, his lips crackled with dirt. He cocked his crooked finger at me. \"Come to me now.\"\n\nI took a deep breath and walked up to the dumpsters.\n\n\"Open your mouth. Let me see that tongue of yours.\"\n\nUnsure, I held out my tongue. He pulled a small packet out of his pocket and carefully extracted a single dab. He reached out and put it on my tongue. \n\nA bright light seared through my body. For an instant my heart thumped like never before, almost jumping out of my throat. My fingers were still tingling when he said, \"Now for the payment.\"\n\nWith a swift flick of his hand, he pulled my legs from underneath me. Before I knew it, my shoes were gone. \n\nI lay there in the dirt, still drunk from that little dab that had just touched my tongue. I heard a chuckle and hands wrapped around my shoulders. Unsteady, I got up, the taste of the Pu-239 still on my tongue. In front of me, the man in the overalls was gnawing at my shoes. I turned and ran behind the midget into the street.\n\nWhistling, the midget entered the bookstore. \"That will take of you until tomorrow. Get me that Pickwick Papers. Nothing like old Dickens.\"\n\nHe smiled as I raced off to the classics sections.\n\n\n\n", "The night sky barely lit the dark street. in it, two hooded figures stood a few meters apart, and stared at each other with suspicion.\n\"Why do you even want this? It's not enough for a bomb.\" One of them, a tall, skinny man asked.\n\"Elijah, you know the first rule of replenishment, correct?\" The other figure, a short man with unimpressive, slightly overweight physique asked.\n\"Kid, is this some kind of prank? i'm starting to wonder if you really have the money.\" Elijah replied. The short figure pulled a suitcase, and opened it to reveal enough money to buy a mansion made out of solid gold.\n\n\"First of all, you can call me by my name. It's Eric. Second of all, here it is, now answer me before I lose my patience and find another seller. Do you know the rule of replenishment?\" He asked again, and this time in a stern tone.\n\"Yes, yes. 'If, under any circumstance, a person's personal trigger enters his or her body, it will repair all parts that are not completely efficient.\" Elijah replied.\n\"Good. Now, give me that vial.\" Eric answered. Elijah went closer to him, and handed him a vial full of plutonium while taking the briefcase himself, and searching it closely to identify anything fake inside it.\n\"Great to do business than you. Now go, leave me alone. I have things to do.\" Eric said, but Elijah didn't move.\n\n\"I don't think so. Give me the vial.\" He said, and moved closer, towering over Eric. He removed his hood, and Elijah almost jumped back from what he saw. Eric's face was like a battlefield of diseases and injuries.\n\n\"Do you know how it feels to live in a world in which 99 percent of the population doesn't need anything but chocolate to cure their diseases? One in which you can't go outside, because an infected wound means certain death?\" He asked, opened the vial and drank it. His face began to repair itself, he grew taller and stronger, until the other one was smaller than him. he pushed the now-shorter man to the wall, and took a knife out of his pocket\n\"What the fuck are you doing? get away from me!\" Elijah shouted, his face becoming red with anger, surprise and fear.\n\n\"But now, I have all i need. you see, the law of replenishment has a loophole. the healing begins when the personal trigger enters the person's body, and after it ends the trigger is usually digested. But if the trigger, through some rare mutation, is toxic to the body and poisons it by simply existing, the healing process cannot stop. the body needs to constantly repair itself.\" Eric said, and lifted Elijah by his arm. Elijah managed to take his knife out, and stab his attacker's arm, but the wound healed so fast the knife was thrown out and hit the wall behind him.\n\n\"Don't worry, I won't kill you. In fact, this is the reason I hired you. In a huge group of slimy idiots, you were the slimiest and stupidest. You are the perfect messenger. So go back, and tell all of your friends i'm coming back to collect the things they took from me over the years, and that this time I won't give up when they pull their knives and guns.\" He said, and released Elijah. After the man disappeared into the streets, his entire body screaming with fear, Eric took a few seconds to feel the wind on his skin, something he couldn't do since childhood. After he finished, he hailed a cab to his apartment, his mind clearer than ever before. He stared at the moon-lit sky, and knew that the next weeks will show the world what the former-cripple could do." ]	2
	[WP] You fall asleep after a hard day at work, only to wake up to a group of strange kids staring at you, confused you start to look around and realize you're in some kind of museum.	[ "What the-? Where am I?\n\nIt's humid. I'm laying on a mossy floor, with vines hanging overhead like dead snakes. There's a forest to my left, with a darkness so eerie that, just looking at it, brings me back to my five year old self, and the feeling I'd get when staring at the long hallway to my parents bedroom.\n\nTo my right, is a transparent wall. On the other side of that wall is a woman - and about twenty or so children.\n\nAll I see, though, is help. Surely, someone from this group can alert the proper authorities that, somehow, I had gotten locked up in this enclosure.\n\nFilled with relief, I get to my feet and move toward the wall. \n\nEveryone's eyes widen. Some kids step back. A small group of boys with smug grins step forward with their chest's poked out and cautious defiance written on their face. It's obvious they're trying to act tough for their classmates, maybe impress a few girls with their fearlessness.\n\nI get it, I really do. I've been a kid. I remember. I've done it. \n\nBut right now, all I care about is getting out. I fix my eyes on the woman, who's obviously the teacher, and mouth: \"Let me out.\"\n\nShe frowns, so I say it again, but with my voice behind it. \n\nShe shakes her head in confusion.\n\nI notice a little girl in the group staring at me more intently than everyone else. But what's bothering me isn't the stare - it's the pamphlet in her hands.\n\nThere's a guy on the cover. And the guy on the cover is...\n\nMaintaining eye contact with the girl, I point to her pamphlet. Then I slowly point back to myself. \n\nHer class is staring at her know, and she blushes, unused to the complete attention that is on her now.\n\nC'mon, girl I mentally urge her. Focus.\n\nAgain, slower this time, I point to the pamphlet, then I point back to myself. Then I raise both of my brows. Is that me?\n\nHer eyes light up as she understands, and she nods vigorously.\n\nI motion for her to come closer.\n\nThe girl hesitates and glances at the teacher. The teacher nods, and watches me with wary eyes, as the little girl steps up to the glass with wide, captivating, frightened eyes. \n\nI smile briefly, then drop it and point to the pamphlet again.\n\nThe girl lifts the pamphlet for me to see. \n\nTHE LABYRINTH!\n\nWATCH LIVE AS MAN NAVIGATES THROUGHOUT THE HARSH TERRAINS OF THE LABYRINTH. A LABYRINTH FILLED WITH MANY EXOTICALLY LETHAL CREATURES, BIZZARE BOOBYTRAPS, AND OTHER HUMAN FOES WHO HAVE BEEN DROPPED INSIDE THE LABYRINTH AS WELL!!!\n\nNOT MANY HAVE SURVIVED (NONE, ACTUALLY.) WILL THIS TIME BE DIFFERENT? WILL ANY OF THESE MEN AND WOMEN MAKE IT OUT OF THE LABRYINTH? OR WILL THEY SUCCUMB LIKE THE REST?\n\nWELL, WATCH AND SEE! GET YOUR TICKETS IN ADVANCE! THEY'RE GUARANTEED TO BE SOLD OUT!\n\nAnd in the center of that was my picture. But why only mine though?\n\nI looked around at the other kid's hands, and noticed that they were all holding pamphlets with different people on the cover. Some of the kids had pamphlets with the same people on it.\n\nI looked back to the girl and licked my finger and mimicked the action of flipping a page. \n\nAgain, this girl quickly understood, and she opened the pamphlet. On one side it read:\n\nCongratulations, you have picked the contestant that you will be supporting throughout this game. If your contestant wins, then you will also win a grand sum of money. If your contest loses, no worries! Just try again next time.\n\nThen on the other side it read:\n\nYou can support the contestant you chose in various ways. If you have money, you can buy weapons and upgrades that will be delivered to the contestant upon purchase, greatly aiding his chances on making it out the labyrinth alive.\n\nWhen I had finished reading, I looked at the new girl in another light. She was the only one in her class that was supporting me. I felt...proud? But also a bit saddened that I most likely wouldn't meet her expectations. \n\nThen I thought about something and looked around. If she was supporting me, where was my weapon?\nI looked back and to her, and when her eyes welled up and she looked down, I knew...\n\nShe didn't have any money. \n\nSo, basically, I was screwed. No weapons, no hope for an upgrade. Yup...screwed.\n\nI almost shook my head in irritation, but seeing the little girl with her head bowed humbled me and reminded me that she was the only one rooting for me. At least she had been thinking about me. \n\nI tapped on the glass. She looked up. I smiled at her as reassuringly as I could, hoping she understood I was saying: It's okay. \n\nI even beat my chest. That got her to smile a little.\n\nThe smile disappeared as quickly as it came, though, as her eyes stared at something in horror over my shoulder.\n\nThe other kids screamed and pointed wildly, fishing out their cellphones. Even the brave boys from earlier took steps back. \n\nThe kids were gesturing wildly and yelling. I didnt know what they were saying exactly, but it looked like they were saying: \"Turn around! Turn around!\" \n\nThen I could feel it. I didn't know what it was, but its presence felt massive. Its breath was hot and musty, fogging up the wall in front of me so badly that I could hardly see anyone's face anymore.\n\nI was too scared to turn around, but I was about to until I noticed the little girl shaking her head.\n\nStay still she mouthed. \n\nI listened, only because I was scared to move anyway. \n\nSaliva dripped on my shoulder, and it burned through my shirt and skin like acid, and I nearly bit off my tongue to keep from screaming out. \n\nThen one girl - the odd one out the group, the only one with an old school camera - finally got her camera out and clicked. \n\nThe camera flashed, and the creature spazzed, hissing, roaring, and thrashing about behind me. It even spit some type of green liquid at the camera girl, but the liquid hit the wall and slid down the surface harmlessly.\n\nMe, I just stood there, holding eye contact with the girl as her gaze filled me with this sort of inner peace that I couldn't describe.\n\nFinally, I didn't feel the creature behind me anymore. Its presence wasn't so heavy and oppressive, though subtle trails of danger lingered in the air and atmosphere. It was still here somewhere, but not here here. I could breath easier again.\n\nMy shoulder throbbed, but I didn't want to look and see the damages. I looked back behind me and just saw that eerie darkness staring back at me, and I knew the creature was lurking somewhere in its depths, waiting for me...\n\nGreat I thought. I almost died, and I didn't even start yet.\n\n\n\n\n" ]	1
Will your men flee in terror, or will you hunt down the broken remains of the enemy with your lance? Or will there even be the rotten smell of betrayal in the air? Give me the best battle with medieval armaments you can think of, including medieval fantasy.	[WP] You are the Battle King, your crown's been forged from blood and steel. You called upon your lords and bannermen to join you on the field of battle. The battle begins.	[ "The valley of Five Fords; a place where many a great battle had taken place this day would be no different. Legends written as well as song, and riches and kingdoms won too. This was where I the so called Battle king would finally take his own kingdom, his own land. I would rule and reign supreme. I would be fair though, unlike those before me. I wanted my people to thrive and prosper. The land had fallen into a state of decay and now what little of what was left we fought for, killed for, and pillaged for like monsters. I tried peace at first but was met only with violence. So I took to the tactics of those around me. This would lead my people and me to the kingdom of HighForth a city in the clouds, or so it was called, their king a tyrant. Before that though my lords, banner man and I must cross the mountainous terrain of the valley of five fords and meet this tyrant in the field of battle. \n\nThe morning was quiet and still; the air hung heavy and was humid and all around me the only thing that could be heard as we made the treacherous ascent up the mountains, was the click and clanks of armor against sword and shield as well as the wheels of carts and catapults squeaking and complain every inch up the mountain. It was a strange symphony I had heard many a time before, the symphony of war approaching, the symphony of death and destruction; the symphony of battle. \n\nAs the day turned to night we started the descent into the valley and saw the encampment of King Van-Forge of High-Forth, and his army awaiting our arrival. As we reached the fords what was left of the sun and evening sky was blackened out,\n\n“Arrows” I shouted to my Lords riding next to me as I raised my shield, lowered my lance and charged forward. The others copied and followed suit, we reached the frontline of the enemy in seconds and with a sickening crunch had broken through them and were running down what was left of the archers who hadn’t turned cheek and ran. Glancing back I could see my own me fared no better as arrows, and rocks had rained down upon those on foot. While the main forces now met each other and were in the heat of battle. The remaining lords and I were now past the front lines and I was closing on their king. Then the sky and floor changed positions and I was thrown from my horse landing hard; with a loud pop and a crunch that seemed to echo thought my helmet. Struggling to my feet screams of agony were erupting from every direction and the air was thick with the coppery scent of blood as well as smoke and fire, all around me death, and despair the symphony of war played on as I tried to get my baring. Looking down I stood in one of the Five Fords which ran red with the blood of men. From behind I heard him first Van-Forge, \n\n“Ha you look confused” shouted Van-Forge,\n\n“Just a little tired” I responded unsheathing my sword, \n\n\n“So you’re the Battle king I’ve heard of I thought you’d be bigger” Van-Forge said charging forward with a thrust of his sword, stepped to the side of his attack the swords met with a show of sparks as I parried, \n\n“And you must be the king of fools to meet me in battle” I shouted over the warfare that went on all around us. \nThe fight was more a dance to the death with each king giving and taking from the other as the symphony played on, blows landed, sparks flew, swords locked and unlocked and blood was shed. The Battle felt like an eternity but ended rather quickly as I managed to deflect an incoming attack, slicing of Van-forge’s hand and then beheading him. After the battle corpses liter the Five Fords, as well as swords, armor, horses and what not and to this day they say that if you walk down to the rivers that run through them and drink some water it will taste coopery like the blood of the many men who fought and died there, \n\n“Father” asked the young child can you tell me another story about how you became king again, “or maybe another epic battle that you fought in as the Battle King”,\n\n“Now... now... “I whispered I can’t tell you all my stories in one night child”\n\n“Why not father” asked my son,\n\n“Because a fortnight would surely pass and you’d have no sleep; now rest” I said and kissed him on the forehead. \n" ]	1
	[WP] No cliches. Show us how people really act in the real world.	[ "John got up out of bed when his alarm went off. He took a shower. After that he went into the kitchen and ate a piece of toast. He got into his 1997 Pontiac Bonneville and went to work at at Target. At 10:30 he took a smoke break, and at noon he at a chicken wrap. At 6:30 he went home and made sure to feed his cat, Jeremy. For dinner he ate a White Castle burger and had two bottles of Coors. He then took an Ambien and went to sleep." ]	1
	[WP] The world is too dangerous to live in, so everyone has been locked in stasis, enjoying a virtual world. Only problem: there's no one to fix the bugs.	[ "The immaculately dressed man walked up to the supercar resting in the pit area. The Bugatti Veyron. He'd been looking forward to this moment. A supercar of the last age, he couldn't over how perfect it looked. \nThen he noticed it. There was some fuzziness at the edge of the window frame. The fuzziness was slowly spreading up the frame and across the window. In what seemed like just a few seconds the fuzziness spread in three directions until the entire cabin and door was covered, then the entire car just vanished. \nThe man's face contorted and he tapped the side of his visor... he heard the soft attention tone, and said in an aggravated voice \"Support me!\"\n\nThe mansion was decaying. The pool was crumbling and green. No pool boy had been in a decade. Inside the 35 room lavishly decorated rooms, dust floated in the beams of sunlight. The maids hadn't been either. \nIn the main parlor the walls were painted with the latest in ultradef LCD paint. The resultant 500\" TV was segmented into hundreds of miniviews of The World. \nOn the couch in the center, was Me.\n \nI am the last human awake. \n\nThe others are asleep in stasis pods. Most for over ten years now. \n\nPerfect food, no work, any toy or experience you wanted on demand. The masses signed up in droves. \n\nThe elites who already had that stayed out, and then they saw how much fun everyone was having, and they plugged in too. \n\nI refused. I was senior support for a complex system, and the thought of having my conciousness uploaded to a machine... well that wasn't going to happen. \n\nSo I got a deal I couldn't refuse. Back up the AI that ran the system, and in return I could live anywhere, and the bots that kept everything running would answer to all my needs.\n\nAnd they do. \n\nThe first year most of the calls were oddballs that couldn't tell the system what they wanted. The AI also had an awful time understanding Creole. I almost developed a Louisania accent.\n\nBy year 5, the AI had settled in and everything was easy. \n\nAt year 9 the problems started. The AI wouldn't respond to some users requests. \n\nThe problems don't stop now. I've barely had time to get up to take a walk today.\n\nThe system is breaking down. \n\nThe parts weren't as easy to fix and replace as the initial estimate said.\n\nThrow in a couple of natural disasters that took out critical automated plants and mines, and parts of the system aren't getting fixed. \n\nIn six months the special requests won't be honored. \n\nIn two years, based on the charts I have, the system will barely keep up with basic support. \n\nTotal system failure is five years from now. \n\nThese people haven't moved in (by then) fifteen years. When this thing fails, they are all going to die. \n\nI hate being right. ", "Little note: The idea of coming up w/ the Virtual Reality idea came to me before VR itself. I might make one later, because it's fun.\nAlso, I cut the ending short. It's anti climatic but it's too long. I'll maybe post the alt ending later. \n\nA solitary woman worked in the confines of her work-space. She was one of a very select few remaining 'awake' - much of the world's population already ended. A mixture of carelessness coupled with natural disasters rendered the world desolate.\nWhy, or, how, or, if it could be avoided are irrelevant to the current state of affairs. \nThose that were lucky enough to survive were given a choice: surrender to the Virtual Reality Machines or take one's chance in the harsh reality.\nAt first, there were many that protested. While most of the world's resources were gone, used up, or barren, there were still public platforms.\nSome preached God's Will or some such, claiming that interfering with the End Times was a sin in itself. Others saw it as an opportunity - really, the only chance - of surviving. \nBut as the days become weeks and bodies grow weaker, the protests faded away. As people came to the facility in which the woman worked, they elected to sleep and provide a Test Environment for her and her team. And she dutifully created a world for them inside a Virtual Reality.\nHer body shook from the cold. The Environment must stay cold - not that she had a choice; it had been what seemed like ages since she saw the sun hidden behind the smog. \nIt had also been a few days since she ate anything. She wondered if she would ever eat again. She and her team finally were going to join the rest of humanity in slumber. \nShe had a passion for computers - her father and mother inspired her in different ways during her childhood. She just never thought a day would come where technology and life would coexist in such an intimate way.\nShe was fascinated and terrified. There were many in their care: what if they were wrong? What if this couldn't support life? What happens if the Stasis Life Support kills before 100 years lapses? \nThey had power. They had back up power. They had tested, modified, altered, monitored, and perfected this facility as the last stand to survival. A plethora of failure points and counter-measures, as she tested she remembered her father always said a system was never completely secure or impenetrable. What could go wrong in 100 years?\nWhen she and her colleague's first designed this system, she felt determined to see this through. Pushing past her emotions, she set forth to help implement this. Now the day finally arrived where she would be put to rest in the care of a machine her team brought into creation.\nThis was her great unknown; if she stayed outside the machine, she would most certainly die. On the flip side, if the machine were to fail or lose power, at worst everyone would wake up and a new plan would have to be devised. At worst . . .\nWell, when a machine loses power, anything left in its RAM disappears for good. People's memories and being - the basis for survival in the Virtual World - acted a lot like RAM. Would they be able to wake up, then, if a major power failure occurred? Or would their entire being be converted, and therefore 'lost', in such a way that recovery would be impossible? What good is a vegetated body if nothing returns to it?\nShe took her eyes off the monitor for a moment to fumble around in her bag. She found her last bottle of pain relievers that were about 6 months expired. What would it matter in a few hours? She just needed to finish the final check and her body would be a chunk of matter hibernating in a machine. She popped them in and swallowed as best as she could without a drink - she was out of water. \nShe looked back up at the screen.\nThey made contact with the Sleepers a bit ago. They relayed information to her - things to improve and watch for. To know that the machine worked exhilarated the team, driving them to perfect their Virtual Civilization. After it all seemed fine and the physical aspects were locked in place, the team slowly and carefully placed members into Stasis. \nShe finished her debugging and got up from her chair. To conserve power, she cut the lights to the overhead, so the room had an eerie darkness to it. Through an observatory window, she saw the giant machine casing that was the backbone to the Virtual Reality Civilization. Her only light sources illuminated between that machine and her monitoring screens.\nShe entered that room through a side door, technically a secured area, and found her other operative. \n\"System analysis completed. Final Debugging showed no errors. I think we're ready.\"\nHe stood in the shadows, so she could not see very many physical details.\n\"Then we're set,\" He said, but his voice wavered. Knowing him, he had the same doubts she had. \n\"Yes,\" She said softly, \"Unless you can think of anything we missed.\"\n\"Probably, given enough time. But time we don't have,\" He motioned in the general direction of their food storage - or what was once food storage.\nThe two operatives were joined by one last member of the awake personnel. \n\"Vitals are good for animals and humans. When we awaken, hopefully the earth is kind to us and we can plant what little vegetation we found.\"\n\"One of many concerns,\" The man said, \"We'll have to cross that bridge when we get to it.\"\nThe young woman said, \"I doubt I will be able to debug from within the VR.\"\nThe man sighed, \"Stasis is ready for us. I have a Time trigger to release myself in advance to survey the situation. If the Earth is able to support us, I will release the two of you and then the rest of our team. If we all deem it's good, I will start to awaken everyone else. God willing.\"\nThe older woman from the incubation room chuckled.\n\"If this is the last thing we ever do, I'm glad we got to do it,\" He said. The older woman placed her hand on his shoulder, then motioned to the other younger woman, \"You go first.\"\n\"Okay. You'll be right behind me, right mom?\" She fidgeted from her nerves. It was real. It was happening.\n\"Of course. Your father and I will be right behind you.\"\nThe young woman went to the incubation room and rested in one of the open pods. She pulled up her monitor and punched in the commands, putting it in a ready state. \n\"I'm ready,\" She said. Her parents heard her.\n\"Okay,\" Her mom responded, \"Go ahead, honey. We'll make sure your body reacts accordingly.\"\nThe young woman braced herself, then entered the last command. A sudden warmth came over her and the machine released vapors that slowed her body down. Her nerves calmed and her eyelids drooped. She ran on adrenaline, not sleeping more than three hours at a time, so it wasn't like she needed much to knock her out. \nHer mind lifted, but her body got heavier. She lost consciousness entirely somewhere in the next few seconds.\n* Might pick up on this later, but it ends here for now. Thanks!", "Huddled in the dark, hiding in the light. It doesnt matter, everyone is dead anyway.\n\nIt was to be the world where humans could flourish, the universe is a dark empty space that cares not about what electrons interact with each electron. It is just matter, information, all lights to be turned out in time in a sea of dying light. Nihilism swept the 21st century quite hard, when the limitations of man were removed it let nothing left but to explore humanity to its fullest, art, culture, technology harnessed to its fullest extent. All leading to the innevitable ending that the universe isnt here for us, and we do not matter to it. Lazch is what they called it, the form of writing for writing sake into a world of emptyness. As in a time of unmitigated and unlimited information transfer everyone is alone. Looking at the world with monochrome glasses as there is nothing left to do, to explore.\n\nThe world is near perfect, every masterpiece is a second away, food is cooked to perfection, resources are seemingly unlimited. Not that anyone would try to test it as everyone suffers from the lazch and find themselves lost without limitations. In a last attempt effort it was turned on.\n\nThere has always been simulations like it, better actually, but the only thing that let this simulation be different was the price of admittance. As paying for something is a foreign subject, gold, diamonds, money, these things are meaningless so what could the price be, how could there be a price. Someone purely sadistic or genius thought of this creation, somewhere dark in the clutter of humanity it was born. Starting as a dream they told themselves to try and live on the edge, but someone did it. Actually did it\n\nTo enter the simulation, there is only one currency that is accepted, that of your physical body. Once you enter you cannot leave, forever lost to this behemoth of a system you are dead but not forgotten. Left to the systems devices, unable to move on or leave. Death is the currency, the only one that matters in this world. Would you pay for it, I didnt, not for a while atleast and even then\n\nOthers did pay that price, turned off and on again, reborn in another life, their lifes. At first it was the outliers, the elderly and suicidal, it kept like that for years till the first case came. The first lazch did it, a mother of three, wife of 30 years decided to give up, or try again I suppose. She planned it for months, as soon as the children left for school, husband off at work, she took the device uploaded herself. Left a note for her children telling them shes going to a better place, turned on the camera for verification and deleted herself. Moments after confirmation her mind was uploaded, the police burst through the door even though she expressed they not and simply turn the handle.\n\nThis caught our society deeply by surprise, the media swarmed the house trying to answer the question where did she go. Dead, alive, pundits poured through everything trying to answer the unanswerable. Before long another lazch replugged, 23, masters at hale in bio engineering with a stable happy relationship. Beth, lazch, 16, happy child. On and on it went until it just stopped,\n\nThe replugging didnt stop, but the media did, it stopped being talked about, happening everywhere but not a sound. I suppose we were just trying to proccess it, as 10% of the human population were lazch. More everyday, nothing could stop it so we stared silently watching the train build up speed" ]	3
	[WP] You knew this day would come. As you look around, barely able to stand, the chickens completely surround you. As they close in to finish you off, you close your eyes and think about how it all went wrong.	[ "It had all seemed so harmless. Roll into town, visit your properties to check on your tenants (and collect rent of course), visit your third wife, visit the weapons shop, then screw around for a while.\n\nAfter all, you were working so hard, slaying monsters, fighting bandits, escorting merchants - you were the hero of Albion! You were even trying to beat the high score of that stupid Chicken Kickin' game. You won every game you came across.\n\nBut now...\n\nBlood oozed from your swollen eye, dozens of cuts, your split lip. You knelt, propped up only by the split haft of your axe, your mana depleted, your last portion spent. Lining over you, a wiry youth, silent, clad in strange armor, and around you...\n\nChickens. Countless chickens. \n\nYou spit blood and look up, your voice haggard, \"why?\"\n\nThe youth raises his gleaming sword above his head, it's blue hilt sparkling in the glade. With a sure, swift motion he sweeps the blade down, pointing it at you. \n\nThe chickens surge forward in a wave of enraged feathers and claws, and darkness falls. ", "\"You really think you can do it?\" John asked while glancing at Mathias.\n\nI laughed. \"You make it sound like it's never been done before.\"\n\n\"Well to be fair,\" Mathias began, \"No one has really did anything this huge before. On a small scale yeah, but this much...\" His voice was trailing off as he stared down at his shoes. Why was he so nervous? I had no idea. My mind was preoccupied with something else. Like how the fuck I am actually going to do this.\n\n\"You worry too much,\" John said before patting his back. Mathias was startled, but eventually he gave in with a smile.\n\n\"That's why you have a video camera to capture this glorious moment when all is said and done.\"\n\nI was nervous too, but I had to hide it as well. As I walked to the counter, I was greeted. \"Hello,\" he said in a monotonous voice, \"welcome to McDonald's what can I get you?\"\n\n\"I'd like to order 100 McChicken Nuggets,\" I said, proudly.\n\nHe clearly didn't give a fuck. No minimum wage worker out.\n\n\"With Schezuan sauce.\"", "The chickens surrounded me. There I lay. Bleeding to death. Because of chickens. They stood in a circle around me, and I closed my eyes and thought back. Thought back to how it all started.\n\nI had just left the store, sword strapped to my back and arrows in my hand. I took a quick look at the statue of the Goddess that everyone worshipped, and the chicken clucked. I wouldn't have attacked it, but one of my gems fell, and the chicken grabbed it and ran.\n\nIt ate the gem.\n\nIt was an incredibly valuable gem, and I was going to have it made into a fancy bow. That was obviously enraging, so I raised my sword, and struck the chicken.\n\nThen it cried out. It cried out for help.\n\nAnd there I was, laying on the floor, helpless, being mauled to death by a flock of angry chickens. My life was soon to end.\n\nHere I am now, sword out of reach, laying in a pool of blood, surrounded by chickens. As my vision started to fade, I thought to myself.\n\n\"Damn, Kakariko Village's Cuccos don't mess around\"\n\nGame Over" ]	3
	[WP] For years, you've been experimenting with the technology from the alien craft that crashed into your farm. Today, you've made a breakthrough that will change life as we know it.	[ "Not many people can say they’ve had their lives saved by a meteorite. Would I still be alive if the craft had not landed? I can’t answer that. But maybe after today I’ll have answers to much greater questions.\n\nA quote that really resonated with me when I was young, was, “You belong somewhere you feel free”. I spent almost 20 years of my adult life trying to get out of the city. Dreaming of the open space, the fresh air, the absence of people. A family was never for me, never had been. My dad left my mother before I was born, wouldn’t even accept I was his. There was no way I was going to risk being the same kind of man he was.\n\nBut I did achieve my dream. A turf farm about an hour away from any hint of suburbia, in flat country with tall trees – an area I felt drawn to as soon as I drove through. My freedom from the city was a reality.\n\nAnd I was bored.\n\nWith nothing left to look forward to, I began to question the simple routine I’d desired. Treat the turf, sell the turf, make some money – for what? I had everything I wanted. I was where I thought I wanted to be, but I felt no freer than when I was in the city.\n\nI began skipping my duties on the farm. Getting out of bed became very difficult without a reason. Early knock-offs turned to entire days in bed. Crops of turf died. Buyers called, I ignored them. They stopped calling. I did begin to find a new hope, though. Something to dream about: ways I could die. There was a lot that could go wrong on the farm. What a shame that would be. “Local Farmer Tragically Killed, Just Months After Achieving His Lifelong Dream”.\n\nBut then came the most exciting thing to ever penetrate my pathetic little world. My burning savior from above – the meteorite. The craft. Buzzing overhead so loudly it hurt my eardrums, a purple light bright enough to pierce my blinds, the noise and the light jerking me from my nap into a disorienting state of “what the hell just happened?”\n\nThe meteorite was not a rock. But I had already known that. My throbbing heart as I approached the site suggested to me that what I was about to see would change my word. The craft was the size of a large shipping container, shaped somewhere between an egg and a cigar, a purple glazed chrome-type material, smooth and polished, no damage, despite the landing. At one end there was a circular hole big enough for me to enter. I was surprised to feel a fear that something might happen to me if I crawled inside. I didn’t want a ticket out any more – I needed to live long enough to see how this story ended.\n\nCrawling into that craft, my flashlight slung over my shoulder with rope, I found the feeling I had so desperately been seeking. I was surrounded on all sides by an unknown metal, but I’d never felt so free. I didn’t need a location, I needed a pursuit.\n\nSleeping became something I only did when absolutely necessary. Every waking moment I spent in that craft. It was only the size of a large hallway, but every square inch of it was a mystery. The open area inside was round, the same shape as the outside, but only about a third the area of the exterior. Like the exterior, it became larger in the middle. For a few metres at each end of the interior, the walls contained hundreds of tiny complex cavities. It was as if the whole area was made from cubes of about a quarter inch thick, stacked together, with some of the cubed spaces being solid, and some of the spaces being empty, which created the cavities in a seemingly randomised pattern. It was as if the whole thing was some kind of three-dimensional binary reading. \n\nThe largest section of the interior, the middle section, was basically a huge round tubular cavity, the walls lined with thousands of domes about the size of golf balls, as if someone had cut them in half and stuck them to the walls. \n\nI spent the first few months trying to figure out if the cavities in the cubed sections led anywhere. I would blow air into one gap with a compressor, and take note of which gaps air was coming out of. I tried to record everything on paper, but it ended up being far too complex, and I lost track. Besides, I just didn’t know what it all meant even if I could map it all.\n\nThe first breakthrough came after around five months, when after giving up on the cavities, I began focusing on the middle section. I was cupping one of the domes in my palm, not really paying much attention to what I was doing, when I noticed movement in the cubed section. I touched a dome and watched, but saw nothing. Touched another. Nothing. Another, and did a double take over my right shoulder – there was movement. But it was completely silent. I had probably been touching these domes and moving these little cubes for months now without realising it. No wonder I lost track of the makeup of the cavities!\n\nI experimented systematically, randomly, and probably some strange combination of the two, but as hard as I tried, I could not figure out any kind of order or system to which dome moved which cube. Sometimes I would press the same dome hundreds of times in a row, and it would move cubes all over the place, sometimes the same cube several times in a row, but with no kind of order that made any sense whatsoever to me.\n\nI decided the only thing I could try, would be to take note of every cube that moved, and keep pressing until I had moved every one. I didn’t know if that would achieve anything at all, but I had to try. It was as if someone had handed me a thousand Rubik’s cubes, blindfolded me, not even told me what the point of the puzzle was, and just left me to solve them. Still, I had to try something.\n\nI was in for the long haul. I bought a bunch of sharpies and began marking each cube as I managed to move it. I would focus on one cube at a time. One cube, and I’d press all the domes as many times as I had to until it moved. Sometimes it took weeks. But I was not discouraged. I was going to make this happen. \n\nI began growing turf again, because my funds were starting to run dry. I started growing my own food. This took a lot of time away from trying to work out the craft, but it just made me more driven. Everything I did was working towards the goal of being able to spend as much time in the craft as I needed to, until I solved its puzzle.\n\nAnd that’s where I’m at today. Down to the last cube. It’s been seven years. I think. To be honest, keeping track of time hasn’t been that important to me. I tried to work it out how long it had been at maybe the four-year mark, and I figured out that I honestly had nothing to measure time against. The closest I have is the seasons and my crop cycles, but even they are so indistinct from each other I can’t work out how many there have been. It could be twelve years for all I know.\n\nI marked off the second last cube last night. I didn’t sleep, I should have just stayed in the craft. Today could be the day. I’ve marked off many of the cubes before in less than a day. Condensation puffs from my mouth as I begin my daily walk down the well-worn track towards the craft. It’s become a ritual. I step under the tarp I’ve set up over the entrance, and wipe my feet on the mat. I pull myself up into the hole for what could very well be the last time. Sliding down to the centre section, I stand and look to my far right. The one remaining unmarked cube shines a purple chrome like a new toy waiting to be unwrapped.\n\nLet’s go. I touch the first dome in my sequence. The cube moves. Am I seeing things? I step towards the cube to look closer. It has changed position. I let out a breath, unsure what to do next. This is it. I’ve moved every cube. I look around the craft, looking for signs of movement. Something should be happening. Everything is as stagnant as a painting. No. With both hands I push the wall of the craft, as if I can jolt it into action.\n\n“No!” I scream. “No! Fuck you, I made every cube move! What do want from me?” I slump on my bum onto a bunch of domes at the base on the craft, as a tightness rises from my stomach to my chest. “No!” I push myself up, and dive out of the craft, falling onto the ground underneath the tarp. Rolling over, I grab one of the poles holding up the tarp and rip it from it’s setting. Lifting it over my head, I jump and slam it down onto the exterior of the craft. “You piece of fucking shit, you piece of fucking shit,” I repeat, as I slam the pole into the craft, again and again.\n\nI’m so mad, that the craft has risen almost a foot before I notice. I drop the pole and stumble backward. My throat feels so tight I have to try hard to breathe. But as the craft hovers in front of me, I realise I know what to do. I step forward, place my palm on the exterior of the craft, and close my eyes.\n\nI see a landscape that could be earth, but I know it’s not. I see beings that could be people, but I know they’re not. I understand. I understand their need for exploration. I understand how everything on my craft functions, and all the things it can do. I understand it needed my emotion to initialise it, nothing else. I understand why I’m here, why I grew up here. Why I couldn’t be transported here, but had to be born here. Had to be born as one of the earth people. And I understand why, until now, I never felt free.\n" ]	1
	[WP] A recently graduated sports fanatic mistakenly accepts an internship at ESP-N: the extrasensory perception network.	[ "\"You brought a turkey sandwich with mustard for lunch,\" Lady Aura says, fingers pressed deep into her temples. \n\"I told you that this morning,\" I sigh. I fucking hate Lady Aura. \nActually, I hate this whole fucking place. ESP-N. Who the fuck names their network ESP-N? How hasn't ESPN come in and sued the ever living life out of these twits. \nThey only survive because of their name. They get almost 3 million hits a day on their website alone. Fifty of those are from fans. The rest are people accidentally miss typing while on their way to ESPN's website. \nThe same gows for actual viewers. 90% of our audience is people looking for Sports Center before bed then passing out and giving us great ratings all night. \nI wanted to work at ESPN SO badly. Badly enough to ignore the signs. The irony of this situation is that, if I had ESP, I would have known that this station is filled with a bunch of snake oil salesmen trying to dupe the ignorant. \nThe first week I was here Lady Aura claimed she could guess where I was born. She guess Boise Idaho. \nHer guess was right. \nBut she also was told that by Frank down in marketing after a conversation about the Tetons. \nSee, that's all they do, listen. Then gossip. Then come in pretending they read my mind. \nI stopped talking much after the first week. \n\"You didn't tell me mustard,\" Lady Aura smiles. Like I'm supposed to be impressed. \n\"Jesus. No, no I didn't. That was a very good guess,\" I shrug. Please stop talking to me Lady Aura. \n\"It wasn't a guess,\" She winks. \n\"Yes. It was. And, really, it wasn't even that fucking good of a guess,\" I finally lose my shit. \"You've seen me eat all sorts of sandwiches in my time here. Each one of them has mustard. I like mustard. You've seen it drip out of my sandwiches before. You mentioned just last week that I had a mustard stain on my tie. Really, Aura, you'd have to be a fucking idiot to not have guessed mustard.\" \nShe steps back, obviously hurt. I don't care anymore. I take a bite of my sandwich and smile before saying, \"What am I thinking right now?\"\n\n " ]	1

Subsets and Splits

No community queries yet

The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.