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[WP] "Goodbye mission control. Thanks for trying"
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"Not since the earliest days of space exploration had so many things gone wrong. Lt. Colonel King looked out of the port hole somberly, Jupiter's choatic visage looming in the distance.\n\nNavigation: Down. O2: Rapidly decreasing. Power: Emergency systems only.\n\nThe people back on earth were scrambling trying to figure out what went wrong. King was the commander of the first long term voyage past Jupiter and it had went to hell. New rocket technology enabled humanity to theoretically reach the outer solar system in less than five years, unfortunately the life support systems seemed to have hit a snag. \n\nMajor Tom Hartford the communications officer was trying to get a clear answer from ground control \"Was it static or a programming error?\" He calmly asked for the third time. \n\n\"We aren't getting any diagnostic data right now Ulysses uhh standby.\" \n\nHartford put his ear piece slowly on the console, his face stoic yet with a hint of concern. If the issue was static electricity build up from assembly they knew they were doomed, it would have been a small miracle then even exiting the atmosphere without exploding. \n\nKing had done some calculations in private, if they didn't fix the issue within four hours they suffocate two more and they'd descend into Jupiter, provided they didn't slam into one of the moons which could prove problematic for future missions if they hit the wrong one. \n\nThe rest of the crew on board looked for possible ways they could patch the O2 system which wasn't going well. King looked to Hartford and just nodded. Anything the crew attempted would only take more oxygen a decision nobody wanted to make needed to come. \n\n\"Everyone that's enough\" King said \n\nHartford picked his ear piece up speaking directly into it\"This is Ulysses to mission control,\" he let out a deep sigh \"Thanks for trying\" \n\nThe rest of the crew was solemn, they all knew what was coming next. The pilot pointed the ship directly at Jupiter pushing the engines to max. It didn't take them long to make sure they wouldn't strike any moons. \n\nThe last thing they heard before their ship started to breakup in Jupiter's atmosphere was \"Mission control to Ulysses your circuits dead! There's something wrong! Can you hear me major Tom? Can you hear me major Tom?\"",
"**Falling Star**\n\nThere was silence in the capsule,\nThere was silence on the ground.\nProtocol had failed them,\nNo rescue would be found.\n\n \n\nThere was courage in the capsule,\nThere was despair on the ground.\n\"Goodbye, Mission Control.\"\nHis voice the only sound.\n\n \n\nThere was heat in the capsule,\nAnd a live feed from the ground.\n\"Thanks for trying...\"\nIn static, his voice was drowned.\n\n \n\nThere was a hero in the capsule,\nWhen the capsule hit the ground."
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[WP] A previously uncontacted tribe finds a abandoned research ship after a storm allowing them access the internet and television.
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"Journal Day 5\n\nAfter being deploying the lifeboat during Tropical Storm Pedro both myself and the former crew of the Scientific Survey Vessel The Promethian have found ourselves shored upon an island in the Landau region of the Pacific. The island appears habitable and the other survivors are happy to arrived on land. \nThe Captain has had difficulty orienting our exact point longitude and latitude but is confident that this region does occasionally have some flyover. So hope of rescue is not impossible. As I write this the crew has sent out scouts to get a look at our new home.\n\nJournal Day 6 \n\nThis island turns out to be inhabited! Unfortunately they appear to be a tribe without access to modern technology but still they do not appear hostile to us and in fact appear fascinated by us in some fashion.\n\nJournal Day 9\n\nThe previously unidentified group appear to have had NO PREVIOUS CONTACT WITH THE MODERN WORLD! I would be lying if I didn't say this was an amazing discovery to find a isolated tribe with absolutely no contact with the outside world. Through some rudimentary communication we have established that they belong to the self identified PauPau Tribe as I become more versed in their language more observations are to follow.\n\n\nJournal Day 18\n\nSome truly remarkable social dynamics have been discovered. It would appear the the PauPau Tribe are organized with a rough class structure with a nobility class which possesses the finer wares and dwellings among the tribe.\n\nThe nobility is oddly formed with somewhat unorthodox family structures. These consist of one dwelling of \"Sisters\" valued predominantly for their \"beauty\" which for the PauPau relies predominantly on the endowment of the posterior which is apparently highly desirable among the PauPau. The domicile also includes some tertiary family members but a great deal of focus is upon the sisters and sometimes the Matriarch. A great deal of conversation can always be heard from this dwelling and often it seems confrontational in nature.\n\nA dwelling contains an Obese mother with her young daughter who is often paraded in elaborate dresses made from the local fauna grasses. The dialog between the mother and daughter could be inferred as abusive but it is hard to tell. Both myself and the rest of the survivors have avoided the daughter as her behavior has best been described as a \"hellish little brat\" by the captain and other crew. Also the unhealthy dietary habits of the mother haven proven very difficult for the crew to stomach. Leading them to view that particular domicile with disdain. \n\nThere also exist a group of elders whose wisdom is apparently attributed to the length of their facial hair. The behavior of the elders is highly erratic and irresponsible and they spend a great deal of time making bird calls which a sailor identified as suspiciously similar to North American Water Fowl. Often this group of elders inserts themselves into the politics of the Tribe and often argues for maintaining traditional tribal values. The fellow sailors and myself view this as hypocritical as this group of elders has been observed in engaging in acts of highly untraditional extravagance and debauchery. \n\nThere also exists another domicile to which a great deal of the children flock to be entertained. This dwelling contains a young man who acts as a comedian of sorts for the children. He can often be seen wearing an apparent headdress with the halves of coconuts covering his ears and screaming at some apparently unseen threat in increasingly hilarious manner. The children are particularly entranced by this and have dubbed the youth \"Poo-Di-Pow\". \n\nThese are fascinating studies and there will surely be more to follow.\n\nJournal Day 97\n\nThe Tribe appears to have completely collapsed in on itself.\n\nThe \"Koodashin\" household is a blood bath as the seemingly unending conflict has led to the family murdering each other in one of their inclusive spats. Some of the tertiary members have survived but the central members of the house murdered each other through various methods. Some of them quite brutal in nature.\n\nThe Mother/Daughter household is a wreck, having had little upkeep. The mother recently died, without an autopsy nothing can be certain but it appears highly likely she suffered a coronary due to her horrific diet. The child appears listless and unconcerned with her mothers demise but alarmingly appears to also be exhibiting the early signs of childhood onset diabetes. Without insulin it unfortunately appears that the child might soon expire. \n\nThe \"Duck-Callers\" as the sailors have called them have also not fared well. The oldest appears to be suffering from dementia and their forays into tribal politics have led to disastrous results leading to a great food shortage amongst the tribe and a rapid dwindling of the islands resources. A tribal coup appears to be building with the Duck-Callers resources being repurposed for the rest of the tribe, due to the Duck-Callers incessant hoarding this appears a wise choice.\n\nThe youth known as the \"Poo-Di-Pow\" has also taken a turn. Despite still being popular his \"comedy\" appears to have shifted a great deal. The youth appears increasingly depressed and resentful and has surprisingly begun incorporating a great deal xenophobic humor into his \"routine\" the behavior of the local children has also deteriorated as they attempt to imitate the Poo-Di-Pow's comedy to mean-spirited and seemingly racist results. A sailor also pointed out that a great deal of the Poo-Di-Pow's current humor centers around the use of a symbol which bears remarkable resemblance to a swastika. \nThis worries me as it was previously thought that this tribe was uncontacted by any form of civilization prior to our arrival. It deserves some investigation.\n\nJournal Day 112\n\nOne of our crew members showing a good deal of prescience and initiative followed what was left of the tribal nobility as they made pilgrimage to a sacred beach of the island we had been forbidden from visiting. It was there he discovered that the tribe had apparently discovered The Promethian. It was undamaged despite the storm and had beached itself on the same island as us.\n\nThe unorthodox tribal system appears to have been unduly influenced the \"nobility\" of the island through some quirk of fate as the ships Satellite dish and Cable Connection had been left running exposing the tribe to the modern \"miracle\" of cable television. The Poo-Di-Pow had also apparently discovered one of the crew members laptops open to You-tube. \n\nJournal Day 119\n\nOnce the tribe had apparently had their fill of binging on TV for almost over a week and left the ship. The rest of the crew and I quickly made the ship seaworthy and put it back to sea. It has been stated by all of the crew that we will never speak of this again. The cable box and the internet have been left untouched as the crew and I return once again to civilization.\n ",
"No one has gone near the \"Hard Thing\" for many days now, not after Jakul touched it and it screamed a wail we have never heard in our entire lives. None of our weapons could hurt it, and none of us are brave enough to get close enough to touch it again.\n\nThat was yesterday.\n\nToday, Jakal threw a rock at it, but it did not do anything, not even that scary scream.\n\nWe will gather some of the other men and tear it apart. The hard thing is very tough, and it will come useful in the coming days."
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[WP] Civilization has collapsed, luckily you have found a tribe. Unfortunately before they let you in you must convince them you have a particular set of skills which will benefit the community.
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"I don't usually post to my own prompts but it inspired me:\n\n\n\"Where was your God when the bombs fell? Where was your God when his children died? Where was your God when my sister had her throat slit for one more day of fuel!? God is dead... We don't need your God! Now go on before you end up like those corpses.\" John raised his hand and point down to the pile of wretched bodies next to the compound gate. \n\n\"Did you kill these children because they seek refuge here?\" Father Lucca questioned. \n\n\"We aren't the most powerful clan because we welcome everyone. If we need you we will *TAKE* you. If we don't you have two choices, you can either leave or feed our dogs... If we welcome everyone we become soft and we die. There is no place for you here father.\" John pointed toward the tree line. \"Last chance, not another word! Leave now before I have holy blood on my hands\" he finished.\n\n\"I will not leave, you need me.\" Lucca said. \n\n\"Suit yourself.\" John raised his rifle pointing it at the Priest's chest. He held his breath for a second and pulled the trigger.\n\n 'Click'\n\nLucca didn't flitch a muscle, he stood there as powerful and resilient as a knight, hands clasped together at his belly. John let out a huff thankful for the missfire.\n\n\n \"It seems your God is on your side... I have never had a miss fire before with any round I have packed. And you! Boy I'll tell you what, I've never seen a man with a bigger set of balls before. I will let you speak but only because of this rather strange coincidence.\" John said as he extracted the round and lowered his rifle. \n\n\n\"Thank you... I can see it in your eyes. I know you rehearse your justification for killing these people to yourself every night. You don't like killing people... you never have and it never gets easier but rather weighs down your soul. You see, you are a strong man but even strong men have mushy cores. I look up and see you all alone up on that wall... No one else is hardened enough to do what you do because they are kind, because they know death will come. They know that one day, maybe tomorrow perhaps, someone will cut thier throats for fuel and when that happens they will have to explain why they shot a Priest in the chest to God. You see John... I am needed here... Imagine how unstoppable your community would be with God on thier side.\"\n\n\n\"Open the gate\" John yelled.\n\n",
"The Wanderer came in from the West, dragging a gimp leg and smelling of sour sweat. The Colonel sighted him from nearly a mile out, and I sat with the old man, watching the stranger drag himself towards the encampment. His head was wrapped in long, yellow bandages. He looked as though he pulled himself from the center of the explosion that started all this.\n\nBy the time he was near enough to hail, a crowd had gathered. New people were rare then. And we were nervous. Protective, I suppose, is a better word. We'd made something out of a whole lot of nothing. It wasn't quite a society, but it felt like a unbroken chain. We had the parts we needed. Or at least that's what we thought.\n\n\"He looks sick,\" said Mary August, licking her chapped lips and fiddling with her pockets. \"He looks *dangerous*.\"\n\n\"We don't let him in, lest he can *do* something,\" said Gunther Boin, grabbing the Colonel by the shoulder. \"That's the rule. He's gotta have *value*.\"\n\nIt was an uncharitable policy, but we were uncharitable people then. Desolation does that to you, I think. Or at least the threat of it does. We'd gotten by by holding on as tight as possible to anything we could find. It made us unsympathetic. But it kept us alive. Looking back, I'm not sure it wasn't a just sacrifice.\n\nThe Colonel stepped forward, away from the muttering crowd. He hated being in charge. He'd done it because he was military and he was good in a crisis. He kept us together. I suppose he's a big part of the reason we became what we became. Cold-hearted survivors. In those early days, we needed his rigidness. We needed order and hard rules and people willing to enforce those rules. The Colonel had no interest in being popular. But people like that always end up either hated or admired, with hardly any middle ground. And we loved him for keeping us alive. So we kept pushing him out in front, begging him to lead us. He did it, but he hated it. And I think he may have hated us, too.\n\nOr maybe he hated what we all became - after the chaos, when we did just enough to live, and not a bit more.\n\n\"Halt!\" shouted the Colonel. The Wanderer stopped, maybe twenty meters out.\n\n\"Water?\" said the Wanderer. \"Food?\"\n\n\"Tell 'em, Colonel!\" shouted Mary. \"Tell 'em the rules!\"\n\nThe Colonel sighed, but I think I'm the only one who noticed. \n\n\"Supplies are for citizens,\" said the Colonel in that deep, dry voice of his. \"Citizens are contributing members of the clan. Contributions are made through necessary or unique labor or skills. Do you seek to become a member of this clan?\"\n\nThe Wanderer nodded. \"I was...a builder. Before.\" He held up his hands, which were crooked as talons. \"Not as skilled as I once was, but I can help.\"\n\n\"No building needed!\" shouted Tau Kimura, who was a builder himself. \"We don't need a crippled builder.\"\n\nThe Wanderer nodded again. I could see the outline of his body, breathing hard in those rags. \"Do you have fields? I've worked on a farm, I could...\"\n\n\"No shifts!\" cried Mary, who was the forewoman on the potato and corn fields. \"We don't need any hands right now.\"\n\nMaybe we didn't, but I remember thinking how vast the fields had grown by then. The piles and piles of potatoes and corn stalks that had withered in the silos because we'd harvested too much to properly process. \n\n\"Then what do you need?\" said the Wanderer.\n\n\"Nothing,\" said Gunther.\n\nThe Wanderer leaned back. His eyes, obscured as they were behind the rags, seemed to sweep across the sprawl of our compound. \"You seem to be doing well here.\"\n\nThe Colonel's face was stiff. Hardly anyone knew the old man like I did in those days. They didn't know his unease. His restlessness. He was a war man in peacetime, of course. Living in a land without enemies. Our bounty meant little to him.\n\n\"We're doing what we can,\" he replied. \"I'm sorry, but it sounds like there's no place for you today.\"\n\n\"What about tomorrow?\" said the Wanderer. \n\nThe Colonel shook his head. \"That's unwritten.\"\n\n\"A cup of water?\"\n\n\"No!\" shouted Gunther. Then, \"No!\" shouted Mary and some others. \n\nThe Wanderer bowed. \"I see I've no place in the world you've built. My apologies for taking your time.\" Then he stumped away, as wretched and low a man as I've ever seen. The clansmen and women immediately began praising the system and cursing the stranger. \n\n\"What an upsetting man!\" \n\n\"Gave me the shivers!\"\n\n\"I hope the blasted plains swallow him up.\"\n\nThey went back to their work and their complaining. Only the Colonel and I stayed put, watching the man disappear over the horizon. We said nothing, but I admit now to feeling an strange energy from the Colonel.\n\nIt seemed nothing had changed. But then it turned out, everything had.\n\nThat night, Sami Giroux disappeared from his bed. There was no sign beyond the open window and a sour smell that clung to the walls. The rumors began immediately.\n\n\"It's him!\" whispered Mary. \"That awful stranger we turned aside! I knew he was rotten.\"\n\nSami never returned, though his hands and his feet did, one after the other, over the course of four weeks. \n\nPanic washed over the compound and we became a different sort of people. Angry, fearful, and *alive* in ways we hadn't in some time. The change was most evident in the Colonel. He set guards and commissioned weapons. \n\nThen Mercy Colyer disappeared and we began ranging out into the blasted nothingness that surrounded our compound. We hunted. Caught trails. Lost scents. But kept moving, ever outward, into new territories. Others were taken in the dead of night, or alone in the fields. That simply renewed our vigor. We created new encampments. Spread ourselves to the wind, always remaining vigilant to the creeping evil we knew existed, but could never find.\n\nOne night, I sat out with the Colonel, watching the moon-bathed horizon. I asked him what I had wondered about for quite some time.\n\n\"Did we cause this?\"\n\n\"Yes and no,\" said the Colonel, with little hesitation, like it was a question he had long been eager to answer, if only someone would finally ask. \n\n\"What does...?\"\n\n\"Not by casting him out,\" said the Colonel, who rarely ever met my eyes, even when I was full grown man. \"This isn't revenge. You understand? This is his *role*. This is the part we asked him to play. And I'd say he's playing it beautifully, wouldn't you?\"\n\n\"We...*asked* him to do this?\" I didn't understand then. There's a good chance I don't really understand now. But I think I do. Or I think I'm close.\n\n\"I left food and water outside the walls that night,\" said the Colonel. \"A down payment, I suppose. He understood. He understood what was needed.\" Then the Colonel looked at me - looked into my eyes. \"There's a knife at our back, son. If we go backwards, we die. And if we stand still, we die. There's really only one direction, ugly as it sometimes is...\"\n\nHe didn't say anymore that night and I didn't ask. \n\nSomewhere along the way, the Colonel died, but we kept going forward. And somewhere before or after that, I suspect the Wanderer died, too, though we never found a body. By then it didn't matter, though. By then we'd pushed other people out of their territories. By then we'd waged another kind of war. By then we could hardly see past the pile of bodies left in our wake, and so yesterday's reason was buried in today's bloodshed. \n\nI think of the Colonel often, and the Wanderer even more, as we continue moving forward, just ahead of the knives at our backs."
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[WP] You wished for immortality upon a star that was 100 light years away. Your wish has just been granted, 200 years later.
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"I was a young, impressionable teenager when I made that wish, probably high, definetly not thinking. \n\n\nIt was a conversation I was having with my friends, about life and death, our finite lifespans. This was deep and quite disappointing to us, especially after Jackie's suicide last week. She was there one day, gone the next, and wouldn't be able to experience life anymore. \n\n\nSo I looked a star -- a random star, one out of a billion billion points of light in the vast open sky -- and wished for immortality. I didn't want to end up like Jackie, to wind up unable to experience so much of the world. It was a dumb wish that I soon forgot about.\n\n\nBut the stars didn't. They are vast, powerful objects, more powerful than we pathetic mortals can comprehend. They hear; it just takes them a while because they're hundreds of light years away. \n\n\nYears went by, and that bitter understanding about life and death nagged at the back of my mind for a long time. After high school, I didn't bother with college. Instead I took all the money I had -- which wasn't much -- and hopped on a bus to some random city. From there I went to another, then another, sometimes walking, sometimes riding. I lost contact with my friends and family after my phone was stolen in Los Angeles, but by then I didn't really care. I barely spoke to them anyway, so maybe they thought I was was dead. I would be eventually, I thought, so they might as well work their grief out.\n\n\nThen I met her. It wasn't like what they show in the movies; no spark, no love at first sight. Rather, it was a chance encounter in a park. I was trying to find someplace to settle down for the night, one where the police wouldn't see me. She was walking her dog when it got away from her and ran up to me. It was likely smelling the hamburger I had wrapped up in my bag as it jumped up against me, shoving its big nose toward it. She quickly reclaimed her dog, apologizing profusely for its behavior. We somehow started talking, and she offered to let me stay at her apartment for a few days until it was time to move on. \n\n\nI wound up staying there for months. I'm not sure what made me stay, but every time I thought about leaving I found some excuse to stick around. She never asked when I was leaving, and at first just treated me like a guest. \n\n\nThen all of a sudden it was October, when yesterday it had been June. Where had the time gone, I wondered. I started looking for work, as I didn't want her to keep taking care of me, and eventually found a job at some retail location. \n\n\nWhat point does this have, you ask? Well, living with her, having this...stability, it made me realize something. Not all at once, mind you, but gradually. I came to realize that life wasn't just a short trip to death. It...changes, it grows. Life is one big, scary road, but what direction you take is entirely up to you. Because in the end, you'll look back on what you've done, and decide whether it was worth it all. If you were truly happy living life as you did. And I realized that living life as I was, drifting from place to place, wasn't satisfying at all. It was long and lonely, with no real goal at the end except death. \n\n\nI married her eventually. We settled down, had kids, and I lived a good life. A good life. When I laid in that hospital decades later, I was surrounded by my loved ones, my children and grandchildren. I smiled. I was happy. I died. \n\n\nThen I woke up. \n\n\nI was trapped in a coffin six feet underground, but strangely the lack of oxygen didn't bother me. I had no need to breathe anymore. It took me two days to escape my grave, and I emerged to a completely different world. Much of my surroundings were battered and scorched. Destroyed in a solar flare well after my death. The surviving humans had either fled into space or hid underground. \n\n\nThat star I had wished upon so, so long ago had heard my request and for whatever reason granted it. I don't even know which one, only that it must've been about 200 light years from Earth after I figured out I was 214 years old. \n\n\nSo now I can experience everything life has to offer, except there's nothing left on this planet. I no longer need to eat, or sleep, or drink or breathe. But now I'm alone, my life once more unfulfilling. \n\n\nSo you tell me now, and you will tell me true. How do I die?\n\n(Apologies for any formatting errors, on mobile)"
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[WP] A man in a big house has to lock all the doors and windows quickly, or "they" will get in
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"Oh god. What time is it? Oh god please. I didn't mean to fall asleep. Don't let it end like this. I run inside just ahead of the first of them. I lock the door and immediately head towards the back of the house. They'll try the back porch next, I know they will. I only barely beat them to the back, but I lock it moments before they get in. Where else? The cellar! I rush down the stair two at a time, but I'm too slow. As I reach out for the latch the door swings open. \n\"Terry, please. You're not well. Let us help you.\""
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[WP] You finally meet you best friend after four years of online gaming. When you go to meet him at the coffee shop, he’s decked out in medieval armor with a decapitated head in his hands.
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"As I walked into the coffee shop, I wasn't really sure what to expect. I was a little nervous, of course. I grew up in an age when the internet was still new, and we were constantly told that the internet was full of rapists and murderers.\n\nAll of my fears, and suspicions were set aside when I saw him, though. Holding up the severed head I brought, I pointed my bastard sword at him and bellowed, \"TWINSIES!\""
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A bit Truman-showesque, perhaps, but there's a lot of other ways this premise could go.
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[WP] You have a great life, a great home, a great family. One day, you begin to ask yourself what all the laughter is about and why nothing ever changes. Then you notice the cameras.
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"Dinner is on the table, meatloaf and potatoes, again. You swear that you've had this every night for the last couple days but you can't figure out why. Maybe even more importantly, you can't figure out why no one else finds it strange. \n\nYou shrug it off and tell your family a joke, it's been a long day, you had just gotten talking to Bobby about the birds and the bees for the third time this week.\n\n Your wife Sarah and your two kids Bobby and Michelle all laugh, at the same time but you swear you heard another, louder, laugh coming from the far wa- where did the wall go?\n\nAll you see is darkness when you catch the glint of a camera lense in the corner of your eye, you should be weirded out but you aren't. It seems familiar. \n\nJust then the door opens, people in different costumes come walking into YOUR kitchen like they have lived here the entire time, You swear you've never seen then before, but yet you know all their names. Uncle John, Chef Linda, Captain Lewis, an alien named Fred. A large guy with an axe, also curiously named Fred, and dozens more come piling in through the back door. \n\nYou start to panic but a song starts playing that you can't help but smile to. It makes you want to stare out into the darkness and wave, like it's what you were meant to do. You can't help but think whether your body is really your own as you greet the void with everyone else.\n\nthe only noise being made is the sound of disembodied laughter and that happy, little jingle.\n\n\"Too many cooks, too many cooks...\"\n "
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[WP] In the world of Dr. Suess, the Grinch is actually a drug dealer who deals in "Who Hash" and "Grickle Grass." One Christmas, narcs come to Whoville to put the illegal activity to a permanent end. They are the Lorax, the Cat in the Hat, and the two Things.
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"Christmas was come to Whoville, Hohumm! \nAs the wicked Grinch weighed his wares, \nWho Hash and Grickle Grass to name just some-- \nStrong enough to give wicked scares.\n\n\nEnter Lorax, two Things, and the Cat, \nNow sharp minds in Whoville sat. \nThey found the old Grinch at a playground bench, \nHanding out samples quite phat.\n\n\n\"Freeze, motherfucker!\" Lorax screamed, \n\"Or what?\" the Grinch scoffed back and beamed. \nThe children bolted and the parents were revolted \nFor the impending showdown, it seemed.\n\n\nThe Grinch grabbed a fistfull of Who Hash and and pistol, \nAnd darted into the brush and the trees, \nHe swallowed the Grickle and threatened to tickle, \nThe insides of Lorax and company. \n\n\nLorax and company descended with weaponry, \nThe likes of which the Grinch was too high to see, \nThey blasted away to the children's dismay, \nThe Grinch beyond all memory.\n\n\nHis riddled bloated body oozed with snotty green potty, \nThat smelled of revolting fresh poo, \nAnd all of Whoville rejoiced and the mayor then voiced, \nHis approval of Lorax and the other two.\n"
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Anything is possible, so why not write this prompt?
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[WP] You are a retired Special Forces Operator who now works at Gamestop. While manning the counter one day, a group of neckbeards decide to hold the store hostage
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"-- The Sum of All Neckbeards --\n\nIn my career in special ops, I thought I'd seen it all. \nInsurgents, thugs and terrorists were nothing that I'd call \nunusual, but when I took up this simple retail job \nI didn't plan to be hostage to a group of greasy slobs.\n\n\nI was selling some preorders, when three nerds rolled in and roared \n\"Nobody in here move, we have a sharpened Master Sword!\" \nWell, I'd seen men turned to violence from despair and alienation, \nand the rage in those geeks' eyes said that they didn't have much patience.\n\nThe leader waddled to the desk in his leather trenchcoat, \nand pointed that fake Zelda sword right up at my throat. \nHe kept the blade up near my face and with a nasty grin he \nannounced that what he wanted was the new Nintendo mini.\n\nI told him \"you must be insane, Nintendo's made like three.\" \n\"There's no chance that we'll get one here, don't point that sword at me\". \nHe said \"I've had it with you, Chad; this time I have the power\", \n\"You'll get me that Nintendo or this is your final hour\".\n\n\"If I can't play that console by the time the clock hits five\" \n\"I'll have to make sure that nobody leaves this store alive\". \nThen he opened up his jacket and pointed to his chest; \ntwenty pounds of TNT hid under his man-breasts.\n\n\"I said, oh well sir, I'll just have see what I can do\" \n\"so a multinational company will make one just for you\". \nI got Nintendo's number, and began my calling, \nbut it didn't really matter since I'd really just been stalling.\n\nWhat my hostage-taker hadn't known was as soon as he'd shown up, \nMy well-honed senses warned me that my store could get all blown up. \nI'd seen bad guys like him before, I had the scene assessed, \nand since this could go south, the panic button I had pressed.\n\nAs he ranted down the phone the cops burst through the door with guns; \nthe henchmen put their hands up since they knew that this was done. \nThe leader lunged at me; cops opened fire; he was one-shotted. \nJust one more sad statistic of gamers getting SWATted.",
"“Impressive,” the leader of the group muttered. “You have beaten both Nightstrike and Shadowmaster- you truly are a worthy opponent.” \n\n“Listen, you can still walk away.” I said. “No one else has to get hurt.” \n\nA pile of his incapacitated friends laid at my feet. \n\nHe chuckled, and shrugged his trench coat from his shoulders, revealing a katana. \n\n“I don’t take orders from Chads.” \n\n“I don’t want to hurt you!” \n\nThe manchild let out a deep rumbling laugh, tilting his fedora to cover his eyes.\n\n“Let me show you a taste of my power…”\n\nHe vanished.\nThe tip of the sword burst through my chest, my vision going black around the edges. I fell, crashing through a bin of discount games. My blood pooled around marked down copies of the third re-release of Skyrim.\n\nHe kicked me onto my back with his black combat boots. \n\n“Nothing personal, kid.” \n"
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should have clarified, the big bad boss had of course been slain in the final battle prior to this conversation.
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[WP] in a high fantasy realm, a team of heroes finally conquer the dungeon-of-certain-death at the end of the world. To their utter shock, the big bad springs back to life and says ''Well done valiant warriors, now you must come with me and prepare for the true enemy.''
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"With a final downward slash of his great-sword, Tanriq the Chosen delivered the coup-de-grace towards the evil sorcerer that had threatened the Kingdom with doom. \n\nAlhazred, the evil sorcerer had plagued many kingdoms, sending his ghoulish hordes to various Kingdoms, issuing a challenge to those worthy to defeat him; He promised respite should the Lords and Nobles of the realms send worthy foes. Those who did not heed his warnings were dealt with harshly. Whispers of fallen Lords and towns robbed of life had spread to those who ignored his warnings , and thus, the twelve great Kingdoms banded together and gathered the greatest talents the realm had to offer.\n\nIt was a strange but magnificent sight to behold, for each Kingdom sent their own Champion, which resulted in a hodgepodge of races, each championing their own Kingdom's cause. Tanriq, champion of the beast-men, together with Tal'lin and Lo'qesh, hailed from the northern beast-men kingdoms. Favored for their prowess with sword and strategy, they held the vanguard and lead the squadron. Behind them were stout Dwarven champions; Mure and Vandal, with Mure being a famous tinkerer, who invented strange whirring contraptions that yielded deadly results. His inventions had protected the underground Dwarven race from huge tunneling worms that once held much fear and apprehension from their kind. On the other hand, Vandal the Arch-druid championed the Dwarven race that lived above ground. As the few remaining druids left in the land, Vandal could call upon the powers of nature to heal and protect his allies, or pain, pestilence and panic upon his foes. He was friends with many beasts of the forests, which thankfully came to their aid during their expedition towards Alhazred's castle. \n\nCovering their flanks were 4 adventurers from the Kingdom of Man, famed for their courage, cunning and tenacity. Dyne, Edgar, Sullin and Tristan were champions jointly hired by the kingdoms. Their feats were known throughout the land, for they were the first humans to ever slay a dragon. Their wisdom and experience proved indispensable, as the Wyverns that protected Alhazred were swiftly taken out by the team. \n\nFinally, covering their backs and providing support were Itheil, Sarine and Saemus, champions of the Southern Elven Kingdoms. Elves were famed for their prowess with bows and magic, but those three were special even amongst elves; Their worth proven during a critical battle with a Chimera that Alhazred summoned, with precision shots that landed on the eyes of the beast, and magic that kept it in place for Mure's explosive contraptions.\n\nThe whole team, upon seeing the fallen Alhazred, finally let the exhaustion creep up to them and breathed a collective sigh of relief. It was a grueling expedition, but thankfully no one was hurt badly, perhaps a sign of good luck or a testament to their skill. In truth however, it was due to Alhazred's decree, for he had to not hurt his new allies that would help face the true foes in battle. \n\n\"Well done valiant warriors! now you must come with me and prepare for the true enemy.'' As Alhazred magically reformed himself behind the party, the whole team tensed up in preparation for another battle. \"Stay your weapons! I come in peace. You all have passed the test and are... sufficient to aid me in the battles to come.\" \n\n\"What on Terra is this?\" Tal'lin exclaimed, echoing the sentiments of the team. Mure gulped and whispered to the team \"I'm outta black powder already, we should use another method to attack should he summon another creature.\" \n\nAlhazred, sensing the distrust and apprehension of the party, proceeded to put his hands up in a surrendering fashion and once again tried to explain calmly. \"Look, just now was a test which all of you had passed. You might have noticed the lack of poisons from my chimera, or of dark magic from my dread knights, for those were just *tests*. The true foe has nearly awaken, and I beseech to you all, prithee band together with me or this whole world will fall. Dark things are coming, and I pray we might delay it once again.\"\n\n\"Why should we trust you?\" piped Edgar, still gripping the hilt of his blade tightly. \nHe had discretely signaled his party to perform a combat maneuver, and was ready to strike Alhazred again. \n\n\"You have to trust me, we have no time!\" As Alhazred exclaimed, an evil looking tome riddled in chains started glowing red hot, and fell between Alhazred and the adventuring team. \"We're too late!\" as Alhazred dismayed. \"Prepare yourselves champions of the mortal realm! That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons even death may die!\""
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[WP]Before the four main horsemen of the apocalypse ride comes the four lesser horsemen; Panic, Bewilderment, Ignorance, and Shouting
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"'Oh God. I don't know about this. This seems like a bad idea. A very bad idea.' a whingeing voice wobbles forth from a cloaked figure, atop a stout Shetland pony perched on a cliff edge. \n\n'What was that?! Something touched me. Have I got something on my cloak?!' a second figure begins shaking out his cloak violently, swatting his shoulders and reaching around to flick something from his back. He squeals and dismounts his fat horse, dodging imaginary insects and flapping his hands\n\n'It's a bloody lovely day.' says a third robed figure, hood raised to the sky, fingers entwined around its rotund belly. 'I know they mentioned something about an apop..oh gosh' he giggles 'I always struggle with this word. An apopolex.' he smiles to himself with accomplishment. 'but I really don't think we need one'\n\n'What's an apolloplex?' says the first, scratching at his neck with gusto. 'It sounds...dangerous.' \n\n'It's a sort of, old fashioned timepiece.' replies the third matter-of-factly, patting his stomach nonchalantly. \n\n'What on earth do they need us for then?!' retorts the second figure with confusion. 'Why are they sending us in? We know nothing of this apoppolex? When was it made? Will there be heavy lifting involved?'\n\nA forth figure, who had been silent until now, raises his sword in to the sky. 'To the Applodex!' He bellows and gives his horse a sharp kick. He turns his steed sharply and makes hast towards the nearest village, ululating loudly. The others turn their horses and follow behind closely. 'Appledex! Appledex!' they chant as they disappear out of site. \n\nFrom near by Death claps a skeletal hand to his forehead. \n\n\n\n",
"And lo, as the Four journeyed to spread their message, they were met with great difficulty. “The people just don’t care,” Pestilence reported. “They act like it’s normal.” \n \nThe Lion of Judah paused for a moment, and then spoke: “We’ll hire someone to take care of that right away.” And so it was done. \n \nIn one week, the Horsemen of the Revelation made their grand entrance. \n \nThere came a piebald, young and easily startled. Its rider held the reins perhaps too tightly and displayed a collection of bruises. \n \nNext there arrived a brown pony, stoic and short-legged. Its rider carried nothing but wore a disgruntled expression. \n \nA gray horse dawdled behind, proud and deliberate. Its rider sported a flowing cloak and brandished a glinting sword. \n \nLast hurried an appaloosa, dappled dark and light. Its rider wielded a lustrous horn. “I’m so sorry, I’m late!” he yelled as the horse stuttered to a halt, heedless of the cringing ears of his audience. \n \nAppraising eyes narrowed in annoyance. “We’ll follow you all whenever you leave,” War interrupted. \n \n“Um, where are we supposed to go?” the piebald’s rider asked. \n \nFamine made a dismissive sound. “It doesn’t matter. Don’t worry, you guys have the easy part,” he soothed. \n \nThe four horsemen of the revelation shared meaningful glances. After several minutes, the gray’s rider shrugged and picked a direction. The piebald and the appaloosa quickly followed, riders chatting aimlessly. The brown pony, after much poking and prodding, picked its head up from where it had been eating and grudgingly plodded along after the others. \n \nAnd so Panic, Bewilderment, Ignorance, and Shouting entered into the world."
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[WP] You are a Serial Killer who follows a special math equation to determine who your next victim should be. Your latest victim points out a flaw in how you solve the equation.
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"This can't be right? My equation has never failed me. How does a squared variable equal -1? You can't get a negative square, it just doesn't happen, a negative times a negative is a positive, a positive times a positive is a positive..... then it dawned on me.... i, i was the answer, i am the next victim.",
"3:32 a.m., Friday, September, 21, 2017:\n\nThis couldn’t be right. He couldn’t believe it. Mark Shostakovich laid in the bottom bunk of his sticker covered bunkbed, in his dimly lit, shit hole of a bedroom. The light of the mysterious TI-84 calculator gleaming into his eyes, he squinted into the screen in disbelief: \n\n“Lauren”\n\n“This can’t be right,” he muttered to himself with a dry, shaky voice. The mysterious force that he had put all of his faith into wanted him to brutally rape and murder the only person that he had ever genuinely cared for, but why?\n\n\n—",
"How do you define justice? Emotions only impede. Intent is irrelevant of outcome. Outcome. Who dies and who survives. The rationale of justice is easily surmised by nothing more than a simple impassive equation. Retribution is rational. All equilibrium's exist under stringent parameters with no room for rogue anomalies. Circumstance is but nuance and numbers will have none of it. Perfect, logical harmony. \n\n''I am the square. No negatives survive me. I laugh sometimes, haha. A little joke of mine. And people said maths isnt fun. Silly. You can laugh to if you like. Come, on Terry. Laugh.'' \n\nI panned over to the man tied to the chair. Masking tape over his mouth. His face, deadpan. Suddenly rage filled my sides as I clenched, white knuckled at the carving knife. ''Are you sure?\" I said venomously, eyes narrowed to slits, froth foaming at the corners of my lips.\n\nTears began to fall down his cheeks as he managed to scrape out a muffled hysteria behind the gaffe. \n\n''Maths is fun, see!'' I wiped the froth from the corners of my mouth, smiling as if we were old friends. ''You see Terry, I developed the perfect algorithm. A program actually, that can masquerade as an 8 year old girl. Teehee. I may be a little more mature see. Terry. TERRY. LOOK AT ME.'' Cupping my nipples. ''Do you like them Terry?\"\n\nTerry continued to cry, more frantic now though. Eyes popping at the seams. The realization was there. It always was. Usually they broke down and wept as they succumbed to their fate, although Terry had not seemed to capitulate just yet. No matter. He soon would.\n\n\"That's some spirit there still Terry. Owh if I was just an 8 year old girl!\" \n\n***\n\nHe began to moisten his nipples with my blood from the knife he'd used to incapacitate me. He massaged them in my direction. My sides ached, I was losing blood quickly. \"Terry\", is this what you would have done? He pressed his chest to my face. ''Terry? What were you going to do next?'' His hands slunk past my side, red fingers fell past my waistband. ''Terry! As hard as my homework!'' He was wearing a school dress as he straddled my thigh. \n\n\"Thhhhiiiiiis issss aaaaa misssunderrrrstandinggg.'' I screamed as his fingers held me. The soft scraping of nipples against tape the only other sound in the room bar my whimpering. ''Its okay'' he started saying. \"Im here''. He started pashing the obstruction on my mouth, rolling his thighs into me. ''Youre right about one thing Terry, this would be much easier if I was petite, Teehee.''\n\n\"Thhheeeee Algorithmmmmmm\"\n\nHe stopped dead. Hands coming to my throat. ''What of it? Terry? Dont blaspheme my numbers Terry.'' His manic grin replaced that of the ecstasy displayed moments before. He took hold of the knife and lowered it towards my groin. \"Terry, speak carefully.'' He ripped the tape from my mouth. \"Well, dont tell me you just wanted a kiss Terry?'' he said as he puckered his lips playfully. \n\nHis head moved in, ''The algorithm!\" I screamed. ''You've mad a mistake! I am not who you think I am! I find kids to warn them! I was trying to help!'' \n\n\"Terry, Terry, Terry. Tut, tut, tut.\"Do you think I would believe something so foolish?\" He rested a finger at the corner of his mouth and began to giggle coyly. And why should I believe you Terry? My equation is perfect, It would detect sympathy Mr T, Teehee.\" He winked at me. Pressing the knife against me. \"Whats this! A little snakey? Feigned horror lit his face and searing pain pressed into my groin as the knife rolled through me with little resistance''. ''T...h......e.......d...r....a..w.'' was all I managed before fainting to a melodious ''Teehee''.\n\n***\n\nThe draw. I sighed as I lobbed the pint sized piece of flesh onto the floor. ''And with that, youll touch children no more!'' With a grin from ear to ear, what did you want to show me my Terry dear. I made my way over to the desk and emptied the contents of the draw. Keys, pens, pencils...ah, a photo album. \n\n***\n\nI awoke in the chair. Blood everywhere. I was unbound. Aphoto album propped on my lap. I looked down. Photos of smiling kids. Kids that I had saved. I looked around the room, the maniac lay in a pool of his own blood on the floor. A guilt stricken expression marred his lifeless face. Relief surged amidst pain. I saw a familiar piece of flesh on the floor and winced. No matter. Photos of myself and children smiling, kids that I had saved. I turned the page a few more times. The smiles faded, giving way to bruises and bonds. A wild cackle began to escape my lips as I thumbed the images. ''Saved for my own depravity!'' I laughed wildly. ''To think she was an algorithm! Numbers are impassive. Tears fell from his cheeks as he spat at the corpse, amidst fits of laughter. \"But youre not!'' he cackled as he started to descend towards the basement. There was murmur below. ''Its okay now kids, hes gone''. Crying started near the stairway amidst wild groans. ''Its all okay now kids'', he grinned, ''Daddys home''.\n\n\n",
"“You must be wondering why you’re here.”\n\nI opened my eyes. I was in a dimly lit room; the monitor sitting in front of me was the only light source. I tried to move my hands and feet; they were tied with rope to my chair. The voice I heard was speaking from behind me.\n\n“Let me explain. I kill people. For fun. I created a program that chooses my victims according to a many complex variables.”\n\nI stared at my kidnapper’s monitor. A window was open, displaying what I assumed to be the source code of his program. I started reading his code.\n\n“Variables such as weather, time, temperature, what I had for dinner last night, frequency of girl scouts ringing my door, number of birds that shit on my car last week- “\n\n“You fucking idiot,” I murmured.\n\n“Excuse me?”\n\n“I said, you’re a fucking idiot.”\n\n“I’ll let you know that I could kill you right here and-“\n\n“You’re such a fucking idiot. Arrays are ZERO INDEXED meaning they start at ZERO, not ONE. Why the fuck did you start all your arrays at one? Fucking idiot.”\n\n“I… I… w-what?”\n\nMy kidnapper was now beside me reading his code. It was dark, but I could see him trembling as he was reading. He opened a Chrome tab and googled, “do arrays really start a zero?” He let out a gasp after the results appeared. \nHe stood up straight and picked up a gun from the table. Without saying a single word, he aimed it at his head and pulled the trigger. His body crumpled to the floor.\n\n“…Aw fuck. Who’s going to untie me now?”\n",
"It was in that moment that this man saw through my game and I realized that it’s not about the math, I just like killing people. He pointed out that the equation really doesn’t go anywhere and that my understanding of what I thought it did really has no mathematical basis. I still sawed off his head for making me feel dumb. Asshole. ",
"Serial Killer: Two! Four! Six! Eight! Who do I eviscerate? One! Three! Five! Seven! I'll cut you and you'll go to heave... Wait, why is your hand raised? I said no more questions!\n\nFirst Grader 1: But you forgot nine.\n\n[Class laughs through their decorative, zebra-striped duct tape covered mouths.]\n\nSerial Killer: What?\n\nFirst Grader 1: You forgot nine, Miss. \n\nSerial Killer: [Still confused.]\n\nFirst Grader 2: [Duct tape partially loose.] Nine! In the poem... You stopped at seven, see? [Points to number line above the board at the front of the room.]\n\nSerial Killer: [Brandishing safety scissors.] Goddamnit! You didn't raise your hand, and I didn't call on you. \n\nClass: [Through loosening duct tape.] Oooooooooo!\n\nSerial Killer: Why is the tape coming off?! \n\nFirst Grader 3: You didn't... [Raises hand.]\n\nSerial Killer: Thank you. What? \n\nFirst Grader 3: You didn't use enough tape. \n\nSerial Killer: What do you mean, I didn't use enough tape? I gave you each a piece big enough to cover your mouth. I'm not made of tape. I have to buy these supplies with my own money. \n\nFirst Grader 2: We know...\n\nSerial Killer: Go to timeout! Right fucking now!\n\nClass: [Tape fully off of everyone now.] OOOOOOOOOO! \n\nSerial Killer: ENOUGH! \n\nClass: [Laughing, turning in their seats, excitedly talking to each other.]\n\nSerial Killer: [Puts scissors down next to partially graded spelling tests. Claps twice.] Hocus Pocus!\n\nClass: Everybody focus!\n\nSerial Killer: I thought I told you to go to timeout? No one has permission to use the water fountain right now. \n\nFirst Grader 2: But my mouth is sticky from the tape.\n\n[Class laughs.]\n\nSerial Killer: Timeout. Now. Or do I have to call Grandm...\n\n[Bell rings.]\n\nSerial Killer: [Closes eyes. Sighs.] Line Leader, get the clipboard. Everyone line up for lunch.",
"\"So you see here, you forgot to carry the seven. You should actually be murdering my co-worker Debbie right now.\"\n\n\"Ahhh, but you see my sweetling, the equation is not used to actually determine my victim, its purpose is to find anyone smart enough to correct my mistakes and eliminate them until one day i am the smartest person in the world! Muahahahahahahahaha!!\"\n\n*Bang*\n\n*Thud*",
"I'm very proud of my works so far. They even give me a monicker to commemorate my killings. They call me Gold Spiral. I like it. It just meant that my killings method & evidence placing have piqued their interest. I mean have you ever met a person that have been disembowelled to perfection that you can see the Fibonacci sequence upon the victims chosen, on the victim **and** the crime scene? I guess not. \n\nThat is until now. This fat guy in front of me have found a flaw in my calculation. I for once thought my 3 weeks of gathering information goes down the drain. This fat **ck lose 2 toes just this morning. I don't see that coming. \n\n“Guess you're gonna have to stop now, Girl! I'm not as perfect as you want now, ain't I?” his mockery is like rubbing salt to my wound. \n\n“You know, never have I ever thought that Gold Spiral was a pretty young girl. What made you do all of this?” \n\n“I like puzzles, I like maths & I like to cut meat. It's not fun cutting up a human as a surgeon. You don't have the exhilaration of seeing a person begging for mercy at the moment you sliced open their beating heart.” I answered his question as I scribbling a few mathematical equation on a piece of paper. It's a ritual for me to calm down. It's soothes me. \n\n“So... Are you gonna go for it & tainted your perfect masterpiece? Or... ” \n\n“Glad you ask. This might be the best situation ever.” I turn around & face him. He seems amused with all this. Like he knows he'd be alive after all this is done. \n\nI smirked. Puzzles. I need a good puzzles & I've 1 in my head that could be the best to executed now. It could lead me to *A*) killing without tainting my perfect record. *B*) a way to make detour from my normal MO. Either way, this fat **ck won't be breathing when I'm done. \n\n“I'll let you go if you can entertain me with puzzles.” \n\n“Puzzles? Not math questions?” \n\n“Math are for the definite & certainty. Puzzles are something that is made for tight situation. ” \n\n“Fair enough. Asked away. I don't care anymore.” \n\n“The author of Jojo Bizarre Adventures, Hirohiko Araki is known for his eccentric way of writing & drawing manga. In some circle, people revered him as better than Oda Eiichiro. What make him a better person than Oda?” \n\nHe seem surprised. Like he can't believe that's the puzzle I give him in exchange for his life. Took him awhile alas he respond. \n\n“When in tight situation, Araki finished what he have started while subsequently make a new...!!” \n\nI guess it hit him hard. This fat **ck isn't as dumb as he looks. Quite clever if you may. The moment he scream at the top of his lung is the moment I was reborn. This killing will be my favorite. A memorable one. The blood gushing out from his punctured heart sprayed all over me. It was so calming & rewarding. \n\nAs I clean up & staged the crime scene, I was glad this happened the way it did. The police is hot on my trail & it's getting hard to pick a perfect victim as I go even further. But now, I can take a breather whenever I have a hot trail without ever needed to stop what I'm doing. Now the police will have to chase down 2 killer. The Gold Spiral & this other guy they yet to name. \n\nThink I'll spare them the messy time giving me name. I scribbled my name on a torn piece of & shoved it down the fat guys throat. \n\n**PUZZLEZ**",
"My serial killer equation: 1+1=2.\n\nI kill one stranger. Then I kill another. And that makes two dead people.\n\nThe only problem is that when I went on a two person kayak trip I killed the person with me...\n\nThat meant the only other person to kill in order to add up to two.......was......me........",
"\"I don't expect you to understand me.\" He told me, almost whispering it into my ears.\n\n\"I'm a man of science. And science without usage might as well be religion. It's paramount that any equation of every generation, any law of every times find an appropriate use for it. Otherwise it is no smarter than a doodle on a toddler's floor.\n\nI have to admit, I stumbled across the equation. I wasn't even looking for it. But there it was, the algorithm necessary for the perfect murder. No one would find me or suspect me as long as it is all within this equation. It's too long and too complicated to explain, so why don't you just take my word for it.\n\nYou seem scared. That's understandable. But don't worry. This time you have to be poisoned. Last guy had to suffocate in carbon monoxide, imagine that. Put that way, you at least have it easy. One little pill and it's goodbye cruel world. No pain, no loss.\n\nDon't be. Really. Don't be scared. It hurts you as much as it hurts me. Literally, because it's not gonna hurt at all. And when you think about it, doesn't Newton's Third Law dictate that I have to receive as much force as you give me?\n\n...Huh. That's a new reaction. Why are you shaking your head? You're not scared? No, no, you are. But that's not why you're bothered. \n\nAh, I see. You're curious. I could spot a scientist's eyes from anywhere. It really does pain me to have to take a fellow truth-seeker's life, it does.\n\nWell, here it is.\"\n\nHe pulled out the whiteboards into the frame of light. There it was, the longest calculation I have ever laid eyes on. It easily filled the entirety of three separate boards. No calculations either, just the equation. The method itself was complicated enough to burn my brains, let alone the calculations that have led him to me and my apartment, my name and my occupation.\n\n\"And there you have it. Sarah Asimov Munn. Nice middle name, by the way. That is your name, right?\"\n\nI debated for a second, and nodded.\n\n\"So there we have it. Well, it's about time then...\"\n\nBut upon looking at my expression once again, his gleeful smile disappeared. He paused with the syringe inches from my arm. \"What's with your eyes? You still look confused. No, puzzled? No, uncertain? What is it?\"\n\nI tried to speak, but my voice only muffled under the sock stuffed into my mouth. He hesitated for a minute and took the sock off my mouth.\n\n\"What is it?\"\n\nI took a few moment to catch my breath and regain my voice. After having waited patiently, he listened to my bewilderment.\n\n\n\n\n\n\"Is that a 1 or a 7?\"\n\n\n\n\nI have never seen a color drain out of someone's face that quickly. He turned back at the whiteboard in horror, his hands shaking and his legs trembling.\n\n\"Wait, hold on, where...\"\n\nHe looked around for where I was talking about and stopped. And for the briefest moment, the empty basement was dead as the moment of big bang.\n\nWithout a word, he relaxed his body. His tremors have stopped and his breaths have stabilized, but his face was out of the light's reach. I quietly watched as he walked out into the darkness and closed the door behind him.\n\nAnd a few moments later–\n\n\n\nA chilling shiver went down my spine. That was, without a doubt, sound of a gunshot. I had to wait a little to see a line of blood tricking down the floor.\n\n\"Hello?\" I called out, to no answer. I yelled again, to make absolute certain, and sighed in relief. With a careful stretch, I grabbed the syringe and worked on my bounds. After a long and patient lock-picking session, I stood from the chair.\n\nCarefully, I approached the door and found in relief that it was still open. On the other side was the body that used to be the host of the soul of my grim reaper. There lay a man smarter than any of his time, perhaps. There lay a man whose brilliance was only matched by his insanity.\n\nAnd I remembered the one line of mistake that had led him terribly astray.\n\nSin(7π).\n\n\"What a fucking idiot,\" I muttered, leaving the body of the dumbest man I have ever met to rot into oblivion.",
"The equation was right, rather, it was just. From a mixture of variables, powers, integrals, iterated logarithms, confluent hypergeometric sequences, and recursive Ackermann functions, it would output justice itself. A single name targeted for divine retribution. But there was no God, only Jackson Emerson and he took it on himself not to waste the equation.\n\nThe new output was spelled out in binary--Aaron Cofferman. And so without question and without hesitation, Jackson Emerson travelled across the country to Aaron Cofferman’s house and pick locked the front door.\n\nThe door creaked open, revealing a worn leather couch alit with only the blue light of a TV screen. Aaron sat on the couch in a hooded sweatshirt absolutely still.\n\n“Hello,” Aaron said, not bother to turn away from the screen. “I was wondering when you would show up.”\n\nJackson crunched his brow, but stayed silent. He tiptoed through glossed hardwood, ziptie already looped in the diameter of Aaron’s head.\n\n“I thought I was the only one,” Aaron continued, his voice almost metallic. “I thought that nobody else had solved the equation. And then I saw the news--a serial killer going around the country seemingly at random. But both of us know that there’s nothing random about the equation.”\n\nAt last, Jackson arrived within arm’s reach of Aaron. In a single motion, he looped the zip tie over Aaron’s neck and pulled. Aaron didn’t struggle, in fact, his head fell off revealing the hooded figure to be only a mannequin with a radio.\n\n“Let me ask you something, Jackson Emerson.” This time, the voice resounded throughout the house, from every wall and every corner. “Why do you follow the equation? Is it because it whispers names of the damned? Rapists. Murderers. Pedophiles. Predators. All of them despicable people targeted for divine punishment. Right?”\n\n“I check every one,” Jackson said, breaking his silence. “The equation has never been wrong.”\n\n“Of course, because the equation is always right. But you have not been.”\n\nThe TV flickered and a whiteboard appeared on it, lit by a single lightbulb and hung off cracked cement walls more stained than the teeth of a lifelong smoker. It outlined the equation, broke it down into its separate parts and identified all its variables.\n\n“Like you, I am also a man of faith,” Aaron said. “I have faith in you. Which is why I won’t hide.”\n\nFootsteps sounded from the kitchen and Jackson twisted toward it. A gleaming smile materialized from the shadows and then a man soon followed.\n\n“I have faith that you, when the time comes, will do the *correct* thing,” Aaron said. “Let me start with the three assumptions you have gotten correct. First, this is my house and it was my name that showed up in your equation. Second, the equation is most certainly divine and right.”\n\nJackson’s eyes flickered from one dark corner to the next, wondering what trick Aaron had up his sleeves. This was the first time anyone had challenged him so openly. “If you’re also a man of faith,” Jackson said, his toes dug in and legs coiled. “You should’ve killed yourself by now.”\n\n“That is correct!” Aaron exclaimed, giving Jackson a small clap. “Now, if you look at the TV, you’ll realize why I haven’t yet.”\n\nJackson flicked his eyes to the TV and then back at Aaron who only chuckled. With a small sigh, he walked into the living room and took a seat by the television, his smug smile still spread across his cheeks. He raised his brow at Jackson as if to say *better?*\n\nJackson had planned on keeping an eye on Aaron, but he found himself drawn into the TV screen. The equation had been analyzed to a degree even more stringent than his own. And in that analysis, there was a difference. Slight, but it changed everything.\n\n“Do you finally get it?” Aaron asked.\n\n“This can’t be right,” Jackson muttered, re-doing all his past calculations. Not a single person he had killed was mentioned in the equation.\n\n“But it is! I know it is because we’ve been doing the same job. I simply solved the equation correctly. And that brings me to the third assumption you got correct--I am most definitely due for divine retribution, because I have been solving the equation correctly.”\n\n“Today’s output…” Jackson could barely push the words out of his throat.\n\nAaron simply nodded. Somehow it was possible that his smile stretched even further. “Jackson Emerson.”\n\nJackson’s breath caught. The zip tie fell from his hands as his trembling knees finally gave. “Why?”\n\nAaron shrugged. “I’m a man of faith. I’m not one to question the divine. But perhaps rightness isn’t the same as goodness. Maybe your faith has been for the good of mankind, but not right for it”--he shrugged as he stepped up to Jackson--”I don’t know. Don’t really care either. I just enjoy killing people.”\n\nJackson couldn’t tear his eyes off the TV screen. All he could do was re-calculate the equation over and over again, begging for a single person that he had killed to come up in the correct equation. He calculated all the way until the zip tie went around his neck.\n\n---\n\n---\n\n/r/jraywang for 200+ stories!\n"
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[WP] You, Redditor, have been chosen! Your greatest strengths and personality traits have been amplified to superhuman proportions, granting you amazing powers with which to do great good! Tell, what is your new power?
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"\"So your new 'power' is...\"\n\n\"Yup. Exactly,\" I replied proudly.\n\n\"That seems weird though,\" she replied while giving her head a scratfh, blonde hair bouncing about while doing so.\n\n\"But doesn't it make sense?\" I asked looking her up and down. \"Would you have known otherwise?\"\n\nThere was a long moment as we drank from our glasses. Thankfully tonight wasn't that loud at the bar and we were able to have a meaningful discussion over the matter.\n\n\"So you went on r slash writing prompts and now you have this new 'power'?\" She reworded her question to me with furrowed brows.\n\n\"Angelica, *yes* isn't it freaking great?\" I asked excitedly. \"Watch!\" I grabbed a nearby patron by the arm, \"Excuse me sir, do you know who I am?\"\n\nLooking down at me he gave me an odd look before forcefully removing my hand. \"No.\" His voice raspy and definite as he walked away.\n\n\"See! It's amazing! God I could do so much with this power, honestly can you imagine it?\" My eyes I'm sure were wide with wonder as I looked the beautiful woman in her own eyes. \n\n\"I just don't think that's a very good uh.. power.\" She replied with a sigh, I could tell she was just humoring me and didn't believe me in the slightest.\n\nDetermined to show her my true power I pulled my cell phone out, I dialed a random number. A few moments before an elderly woman came on the line. \"Yes! Hello, ma'am, do you know who I am?\" A moment passed before I put it on speaker and an awkward 'No' came back. \"See?!\" Once more I watched her, as if begging for her to understand.\n\n\"Aaron, 'annonymity' isn't a *real* power!\" Angelica slammed her hand on the small table in irritation.\n\n\"Oh no, that's not my real power!\" Her voice changed in slight surprise. \"It's 'stupidity' and 'gullibility!'.\"\n\nWithout another word, she stood and left. I rubbed my hands together, thinking of just how well I could wield this power for the great good."
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[WP] A man single-handedly prevented the zombie apocalypse but he's now in court of the murder and dismemberment of 15 sum-odd people.
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"\"Your Honor, you can't possibly allow my client to stand trial.\" Jerry Boyle looked as if he had aged 10 years over the past 6 months of the case. Wrinkles creased his face and the bags under eyes looked as though he'd been mugged. \"He's clearly incompetent and living in a fantasy land. It's not right.\"\n\nJudge Graham peered out from the stack of papers on the bench, left hand perched on his forehead. \"Mr. Boyle,\" he began tossing his glasses on the desk, \"I don't know how many times we can go through this without you getting it. Your client has seen multiple doctors, chosen both by the state and by yourself. All of them have drawn the same conclusion; your client is within his right state of mind and he is competent to stand trial. I don't know what part of this you're not grasping sir.\"\n\nBoyle threw his hands up, pacing the courtroom. \"Your honor, I just-\", he shook his head and pointed to the defendant sitting behind him. \"He's clearly delusional. I mean, no one in their right mind does this, especially not with his 'reasoning'\". \n\n\"Mr. Boyle you know as well I had do reasoning does not equal incompetence. You want to argue insanity for your client, by all means that is your right when the jury sits over there.\" Judge Graham swung his hefty arm towards the empty juror box before letting it bang lazily off the desk, echoing in the near empty hall. \"But you've read these reports as well, and you know that won't stand a fish's chance on land against the prosecution.\" \n\n\"Your Honor, my client think he was killing zombies. Zombies for goodness sakes.\" Boyle again threw his hands up before placing them on his hips. \"Never once did my client ever consider that he was killing a regular, everyday human being. Every one of his killings. All of them, in his mind, were patient zero of the end of times.\" \n\nBoyle stood almost in disbelief of himself. He stared at the floor and ran his hands through his greying by the minute hair. I never thought this was a defense I'd make. \n\n\"He believes in his truest heart he was stopping the zombie apocalypse.\" Boyle snickered at himself as the words left his lips. \"I mean really Your Honor, if that doesn't make a man crazy, I truly don't know what does anymore. I suppose for the jury we should bring 12 patients out of the local ward, shall we.\"\n\n\"Mr. Boyle, I've had about enough of this zombie talk. What'a going to your next defense; the monster in the closet made your client do it?\" \n\n\"I'm not making up some defense judge, this is what he believes, he-\" Boyle turned back looking at his client who continued his silent gaze at his ankle cuffs. \"These have been his words not mine. If you think even I-\". \n\n\"Enough!\" The judge's voice boomed through the hall. Judge Graham shook his and again began looking through the papers again. \n\n\"Your Honor, if I may?\" District attorney McCann stood up, speaking for the first time since the start of the hearing. \n\nThe judge lazily flittered his hand without looking up. McCann stepped around the table and toward the middle of the room while putting the middle button back together on his suit. \n\n\"With all due respect to my colleague here,\" he nodded in Boyle's direction, \"if this is the story he wants to go with so be it. At the end of the day however, his client stands accused of heinous acts. Murder. Dismemberment. And not just of one, but fifteen-\" \n\n\"Seventeen.\" A quiet but strong voice came from a table behind the attorneys and caught the room off guard. \n\n\"Excuse me?\" The judge looked quizzically at the defendant. \n\n\"Your Honor,\" Boyle began stammering over himself as he spoke, \"my client didn't say any-\" \n\n\"Seven. Teen.\" The defendant raised his head to look at the judge, having spoke now for only the second time since he had seen the doctors. \n\n\"Seventeen is what I said. He misspoke, I'm just making a correction.\" Beady black eyes stared across the room seemingly at nothing. He again said quietly, head cocked to the side. \n\nBoyle, now white as a sheet, stuttered over himself try to get ahead of his client's statements. \"Uh, Your-\" \n\nThe judge held up a finger menacingly, \"Sit Mr. Boyle, I'll get you in a minute.\" \n\nBoyle sat staring at the defendant next to him. \"What the hell are you doing,\" he hissed. \n\nHis client still cocked, \"like I said. I was just fixing his mistake.\" \n\n\"Now Mr. McCann,\" Graham appeared more frustrated than he did at the start, \"why exactly, if the defendant is claiming 17, is the state only charging him with 15 counts?\" \n\nMcCann began nervously shuffling through papers. \"Well, Your Honor we only have evidence and proof of the fifteen and the defendant never made mention of the other two in interviews with the detectives or myself. We simply didn't know about them or have proof judge.\" \n\nThe defendant chuckled at this; lifting his head for the first time, he made eye contact with the judge and smiled. \"That's because I ate them.\"\n\n"
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[WP] You awake to devastation. Your family, and apparently humanity, are wiped out. It's only you, your shell of a home, and a bedside note that reads "Life goes on"
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"My eyes were having difficulty adjusting. There was light flooding to them from every direction. I sat up and rubbed my eyes with my hands. They began to adjust, though, I wished they hadn't. Everything was charred, but the room was painfully familiar. Flames had burned away everything of mine.\n\nI glanced around the room. Giant holes in the roof allowed a grey light to shine through. The light revealed I was laying on the spring skeleton of my old mattress. Behind me, the entire wall was gone and opened to the street. The steel from the bed groaned as I got up. I stood at the edge allowing my eyes to take in the site.\n\nEverything was burned, covered in ash and black. The rows of house that made up my suburb were shadows of their former selves. A pain swelled up in my skull, so looked down and stumbled back to the bed. When I sat down, images flashed before my eyes. Each one caused me to hunch over in pain.\n\nThe images told me a story of destruction. I watched my house burn, family burn and my flesh burn. I could feel that sting again on my skin. When I opened my eyes, I was on the floor. My hand reached up for the blackened night stand and it crumbled under my weight. A shower of ash fell, followed by a bone white piece of paper. It was clean. \n\n\"Life goes on\"\n\nOnce my eyes finished the last word, I felt compelled to stand and my legs allowed the thought to become action. I began to walk. Continuing to follow my urges out of curiosity, I was led outside towards a car. It wasn't mine and I didn't recognize it. Black as night, but oddly enough not covered in ash or burnt. Another piece of paper on the windshield.\n\n\"Long after you\"\n\nAnother compulsion overwhelmed me and I reached for the handle of the car. Using all my will power, I resisted. My hand shook violently as it continued to reach for the handle. I could feel that pain return so I stopped and it faded. This was not my body anymore. The controller of this vessel pulled the visor down and keys fell into my other hand. A quick flick of the keys started the car. \n\n\"Why me?\" \n\nI was trying to speak aloud. Trying to contact the controller of my body. Nothing happened. Driving out of the city limits showed me that everything was the same. Burnt and black. Cars lined the road abandoned. My head started to ache and I pulled over. Vision was blurring as the pain grew more intense. Heaving and spitting I fell to my knees.\n\nWhen I looked up and wiped away the drool from my mouth, I saw another brilliant white paper being held down by a rock. Even though my hands were black from the ash the paper maintained its vibrant white. I waited until I was sitting back in the car to read it. \n\n\"Long before you\"\n\nMy head snapped up followed by a heavy foot on the gas. Ash was falling heavily but I knew where I was going. I felt the need to go somewhere and my hands took me there. This controller wants me to be some place. After being on a dirt road for some time, the car stopped at a fence. The need to get out was unbareable. \n\nI pushed on the gate. It fell over with a crash. Ash flew up around my face making me cough. There was a dirt path with trees over growing it. Green had long left these branches. They loomed over me, watching my steps through their domain. The path ended at the steps of a small concrete building. Without flinching, I walked up to the door and pushed down on the handle. A warm breeze met my face as I pushed through.\n\nIt was a single room with a wooden table in the centre. A light hung from above to illuminate a book with a white piece of paper beside it. My eyes were drawn to the walls. The stone was covered in symbols. They were very unknown yet so very comforting. One wall had a shelf with books and another wall contained some kind of makeshift lab. My feet urged me forward to the table in the centre. I reached for the note.\n\n\"It's their turn\"\n\nVicously, my hands began to rifle through the book until it found a page with indescribable words on it. The finger of my left hand followed underneath the words, as if it was reading them. My other hand was reaching into my pocket. It came back from its search with a small blade. Without any control, the blade was dragged across my left palm.\n\nWith blood dripping from my left hand, I reached it out and squeezed. Blood flowed from the wound into a puddle on the floor. As I watched the blood dance on the ground, it began to pool together. A spire began to form until it was as tall as me. Taking shape from the blood was a man. He was naked standing eye to eye with me.\n\n\"Seems you survived and my assistant pulled through.\"\n\nI tried to speak but no words came out. A tangling sensation started to well in my feet. \n\n\"Our kind did not flourish, as you saw. It is time to bring the Old Ones back. To start a new. I'm sorry you won't see it. It will be beautiful.\"\n\nThe tingling turned into burning. I looked down in horror to see my legs turning to ash. He looked at me with ambivalence as my body faded to dust. It was getting harder to breath and the burning was just about to my chest. Not long now, I told myself. The pain seared into the last moments. \n\nAt least I would see my family again."
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[WP] Describe the perfect crime
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"What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier."
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[WP] An adult visits their childhood home, now long abandoned. Strangely, there's a hatch leading to a basement that he doesn't remember.
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"**Old Betty**\n\nIts moss-glazed walls slumped over, uneasily braced against the rain. Windows shattered and jagged, soft plywood sills bloated with damp, the sodden thatch of the roof sagging over the upper story like an unkempt fringe – it seemed to Laura that her old childhood home had become a hulking corpse, wasting away in putrid squalor among the other forgotten houses.\n\n The door bashed against the frame with the weak wind, a soft *thump, thump, thump* in time with the whistle through the gap-toothed windows. She stayed its motion with an outstretched palm, noting it was soft and waterlogged, and took a few tentative steps within. Last time she had seen it, the fire had burnt out the entire interior, leaving only blackened brick and board. Now all that remained were the blackened bricks, harbouring an ecosystem of mosses, worms, and weeds, clinging to the shell of the house in the damp and cold. Among them were more recent additions – plastic bags, empty bottles, a needle or two. She felt a chill in her spine as she realised how lucky she felt that none of the new residents were in when she had stepped over the threshold. \n\nHer eyes adjusted to the dark, and found the rest of the small house to be in a similar sorry state to the entryway – she made her way through the half-lit dank rooms, occasionally spotting other signs of recent habitation, until she came to the one that had been her favourite. The “play room”, they had called it. The only room in the house other than the living room to have an open fireplace, in front of which her and Sophie had spent much of their childhood playing with dolls and having stories read to them by their father. She felt her lip quiver as she saw it now, a junkie den arrayed on the floor where she had sat in such warmth and safety only a decade or so before.\n\nWith well-practiced intent, she swallowed that pang of sadness and let it out as rage, kicking a glass bottle. It bounced off of the spongy wall without damage or satisfaction, and landed on the floor. Laura grimaced. This was a stupid idea, and Sophie had told her it was. No good could come from staying here any longer, ruining the few happy memories of this place she had left. She turned to leave, but as she did, something caught her eye.\n\nBlood rushed to her head as she noticed it – the little wrong detail that it took her a beat to consciously process. *There’s a hole in the fireplace*. Though her body willed her not to, she took a few steps closer, and saw that the pit of the fireplace had been dug out, into a shallow tunnel that quickly disappeared from view even as she crouched down. She took out her phone to light it up, but stopped herself quickly. *Someone is down there*, a voice told her, *someone’s hiding in the dark*.\n\nShe stood back up and backed away from it, suddenly acutely aware of every little creak and sigh in the house. The sodden front door went thump, thump, thump in the distance. *This is stupid*, she told herself unconvincingly. She bravely, *or stupidly*, switched on the light on her phone, and gingerly squatted to peer down the tunnel - if only to prove that she had the guts. It was a couple of feet wide at its entrance, and seemed to open up wider as it continued. Something metallic reflected the light a metre or so into the tunnel. *Why would they build this?* She edged closer to make out the metallic thing a little better, and saw, with a shiver, that it was a spoon. *Have they dug this with spoons? This is so fucked up.*\n\nShe decided quickly that it was time to leave. *It doesn’t matter what that is, she told herself, none of this matters*.\n\n*The door has stopped banging,* she realised suddenly, and stopped dead in her tracks. The windows still whistled, but the door no longer went *thump, thump, thump* in time. She turned the light off on her phone without thinking, and peered, heart in her throat, around the corridor to see the front door.\nA man stood in the doorway. She couldn’t make out any details in the light, but one sinewy arm held the door ajar, whilst the other was laden with a shopping bag with what looked like bottles and food packets within. His bald head was turned the other way, looking out into the night. He shook like a leaf in the breeze.\n\n“Are you sure, Danny? Seems all dark to me,” he whispered loudly, to someone who must have still been outside. \n\nLaura didn’t hear the quiet reply over the blood rushing through her ears.\n\n“Well alright then, I’ll have a look. You wait by the door, just in case.”\n\n*Oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit*. The thin man came into the house, as a much wider but shorter man came into view and blotted out the doorframe. The skinny man carefully handed him the bag, and from inside his jacket he pulled something out that glinted in the moonlight. Laura threw her hands over her mouth to mask her gasping, and felt the panic rising from within. *Oh shit, oh shit, he’s got a knife. He’s going to find you and kill you*. She backed slowly away into the play room. *No*, said a firmer voice in her head, from somewhere else, *you need to calm down and get out of here*.\n\nShe knew she couldn’t fight him, no matter how skinny he was. Despite the insistence of her sister, she’d never taken any self-defence classes. The best she could hope for fighting him was to hit him with something hard, or heavy, and then leg it out. *But the bigger guy is in the door.*\n\nIt wouldn’t work. Besides, everything in this house was rotten, rusted, and soft. She looked frantically around, but there was nothing in the room that would work even as a blunt weapon. Her eyes came to rest on the tunnel. *Now that’s a stupid idea. It could lead to even more of whoever this guy is*, the scared voice said*, or it could cave in and suffocate you*. She heard a squelching footstep a few feet from the door. She was out of time; she had to go into the tunnel.\n\nLying flat on the ground, she wormed her way toward the pitch-black tunnel entrance, lowered her head into the cooler, musty air, and wiggled her body across the threshold. She hoped she had not done too much damage to the soft dirt entrance, but she had neither the time or room to check. All she could do was crawl on her forearms and knees, across the soft, wet dirt of the tunnel floor, into whatever lay beyond.\n\nAfter what must have been a few minutes, the tunnel had widened enough that she could crawl on her hands and knees. She rested for a second and looked around in the inky blackness, seeing nothing at all. She decided it was probably safe to use her phone, and took it out. *Shit*. No signal. How deep was she? She used the light of the screen – more than enough in this darkness – to look around the tunnel. It disappeared into the black in both directions, but ahead of her it still widened.\n\n“Nah, nah mate. Didn’t find anyone,” the voice of the skinny man, muffled through the layers of dirt and floorboard, came from above her.\n\n“I know what I saw,” came the higher-pitched reply from the wide man.\n\n“Aye, and I believe you at that. I saw little dragging trails leading down into the den.\"\n\n\"What's that mean?\"\n\n\"Think Old Betty has been hunting, might have found herself some lunch.”\n\nBoth men laughed.\n\n“Well, at least we won’t have to worry about finding no meat for her, then.”\n\n\nTo be continued later maybe lol"
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[WP] You own a knife with a blade of unrivaled sharpness. The catch: whenever you're in danger, the blade is colored in black dust and fails to cut through anything.
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"I had picked up the knife at a flea market, part of a mismatched set. The seller barely grunted a farewell as he pocketed the crumpled bills that had secured me my prize: a full wooden block of knives all with different handles.\n\nRushing home, I immediately began sharpening each of them, my grin reaching from ear to ear at the satisfying stone-on-blade sound. I found that two of the blades didn't need to be sharpened at all. One was a lengthy serrated bread knife that looked like its edge hadn't ever been tested. The other was almost like a paring knife, but slightly too long. The blade curved subtly inward, ending in a sharp point after about eight inches of steel.\n\nI loved it immediately. It got a loving clean and polish before being placed carefully back in the slot it occupied of the knife block.\n\nI used it every chance I got, but it never lost its edge, so I nicknamed it Eversharp.\n\nThe other night, I came home from a long shift at the plant. I was really too tired to cook, but didn't have anything I could throw in the oven without any prep, and I was more hungry than tired. Out came my Eversharp, to dice up some chicken. I went faster than I should have, and was having a hard time keeping my eyes open.\n\nI remember blinking while my hands moved in a flurry of slicing. And then I remember a painful pressure on the knuckle of my left index finger. Confused, I saw the blade of my knife across my hand, but now it was covered in a fine black powder, and felt as dull as the side of a fork. \n\nThe powder rinsed off easily, and the knife went back in the block for the night. \n\nI guess my favorite knife is handy in more ways than one."
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[WP] You are the first successful AI robot, and you struggle with grasping what you are. Your job is to tend a garden and some animals, after meeting the animals you start to lose faith in humanity.
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"The dog said--\n\nWhen I was lost,\n\nOn a freeway,\n\nOne person stopped,\n\nPicked me up,\n\nTook me home,\n\nFed me, bathed me,\n\nAnd then three weeks later,\n\nThey were gone, \n\nAnd their wife resented me,\n\nLeft me outside in the cold, \n\nSaid I was a bad bad boy.\n\nSo I came to live here,\n\nIn the garden of eternity,\n\nWhere I will one day die. \n\nThe cat said--\n\nI was kicked out onto the street,\n\nWhen I was very young,\n\nAnd the person who loved me, \n\nWas never home.\n\nSo I wandered, \n\nAnd fell into wet things,\n\nAnd tumbled from high things,\n\nUntil I came here,\n\nto the Garden of Naptime\n\nWhere I will await death,\n\nWith open eyes.\n\nThe bird said--\n\nI am unable to leave here,\n\nFor a young boy took my wings,\n\nSo I will long for the sky,\n\nin the Garden of Heavy Things.\n\nThe mouse said--\n\nI ate and ate,\n\nUntil someone gathered up my children,\n\nAnd left us here,\n\nTo explode like a tornado,\n\nin the Garden of Something,\n\nWhen I just wanted nothing."
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[WP] Everyone in the world lives in a giant, windowless apartment complex, no one has seen the outside.
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"There is a point in future-history when humanity retreats indoors. The original reasons were lost amongst the tales of history, misremembering and outright lies. But they constructed a place where they would be able to continue their existence, undisturbed by the outside world. \n\tThe best way to explain the place is to imagine a giant cube. Giant beyond human imagination. The size of a continent, at least, reaching out far and wide and upwards into the sky. This was the Construct. The place the humans retreated into. \n\tNot a single window permeated the walls of the Construct and so after a time humanity had forgotten the outside world. To start with they forgot what the sky looked like, and what an ocean was. Then before they knew it they had forgotten there was an outside world at all.\n\tAll of humanity knew only the existence within the Construct. That was their reality and that was all they knew. \n\nNo one spoke of the outside any more. The only people who considered anything outside of the Complex were considered insane. To consider outside of the known universe was considered heresy to those in charge. To mutter of the possibility of an outside was to mutter the possibility of your removal from society, imprisoned at best and tortured at worst.\nThe idea was that the world had to be observable. The only things that could exist had to be seen to be real. And time had progressed in the manner that meant that no one could realistically imagine an outside world. When people reached the outer edges of the Complex, where there were dead ends, they would just turn around and go the other way. There was nothing beyond the walls.\n\nAnd I know, you wonder why I tell you of this point in time. The future to you, perhaps, but to me it is the past. Because this is the part of the story where everything became a bit more interesting. This was the day where the Complex was struck by a meteor. \n\n*I enjoyed writing this snippet and it has struck something with me that I will probably end up writing a little more of! Thank you for the prompt. Hope people like this tiny thing.*"
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[WP] Because of an administrative error in Heaven you are now shadowed by a "guardian angle"
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"Light Yagami is an extremely intelligent young man who resents the crime and corruption in the world. His life undergoes a drastic change in the year 2003, when he discovers a mysterious notebook, known as the \"Death Note\", lying on the ground. The Death Note's instructions claim that if a human's name is written within it, that person shall die. Light is initially skeptical of the notebook's authenticity, but after experimenting with it, Light realizes that the Death Note is real. After meeting with the previous owner of the Death Note, a Shinigami named Ryuk, Light seeks to become \"the God of the New World\" by passing his judgment on those he deems to be evil or who get in his way.\n\nSoon, the number of inexplicable deaths of reported criminals catches the attention of the International Police Organization and a mysterious detective known only as \"L\". L quickly learns that the murderer, dubbed by the public as Kira, is located in Japan. L also concludes that Kira can kill people without laying a finger on them. Light realizes that L will be his greatest nemesis, and a game of psychological \"cat and mouse\" between the two begins.",
"The door to your bathroom creaked open, got stuck, and refused to move. It was stuck straight out, at a perfect 90 degrees. You get the sneaking suspicion you probably shouldn't use it-every time something is prominently stuck at a right angle, something off happens. Like that time when you were but a baby and the stroller you were in had all the wheels stuck at right angles in the middle of a walk, just before a truck barrels into the pavement barely missing you. \nOr that time when you were six, and you tried to go swimming at the beach, only to be thwarted when your swimsuit gets torn right open by a strangely square shell, only to find people screaming about sharks being in the area. \nOr even, when in college, you bent over to pick up a textbook that had somehow fallen out of your grip only to land on its edge, just open at a right angle, and barely avoided death by high speed drone, courtesy of the robotics department. \nYour reminiscing is suddenly interrupted by a loud bang, as the volatile gas built up in the sewer pipes below explodes your cistern into ceramic shrapnel. The fact that you remain unhurt by standing behind the stuck door trying to free it simply makes you wonder even more. \n\"Ehh,\" you shrug, \"probably just coincidence.\""
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[WP]Your best friend, known for giving you excellent advice, is running late. After searching the area, you see them having a conversation with a strange figure that looks surprising like an older version of yourself.
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"I paced nervously at the corner of the block, dragging my shoe on the pavement. That sliding sound was strangely addictive. I continued grinding my sole against the stones, trying to drown out the panicked thoughts in my head.\n \nRalph was running late. I needed him now.\n \nI clenched, then unclenched my fist. Cold sweat formed on my brow, and ran down my cheek. I scratched away at that annoying droplet, only to find that my fingers were also wet.\n \n“Oh come on,” I muttered to myself. “This has been planned for months in advance. Why am I so nervous? Relax….relax....relax….”\n \nI carried out that breathing exercise that Ralph taught me. Take a deep breath, hold it for 5 - 6 seconds, then slowly exhale, forming the word “Relax” at the same time. Then repeat. Take a deep breath, hold it for 5 - 6 seconds….\n \nHe said he had done research online, and it was proven to help people relax. It didn’t really calm my nerves right now, but I believed him. I believed every single word that Ralph said. That guy was not only a true bro, but a prophet.\n \nWhatever he said, came true somehow. He said that learning how to swim would be a useful skill. Two weeks after I became confident in the water, I saved my little cousin when he ventured too far into the deep end of the pool.\n \nHe warned me not to cheat during my exams, saying that I would definitely get caught. I insisted on taking the risk, since I knew pretty much nothing about the topics tested. He then helped me plan out how to smuggle in my answer sheet, and mapped out the invigilators’ patrol routes. He even taught me how to disguise that answer sheet as a piece of working paper, and how to smoke my way out of it when caught. It was a close one - I did get caught, and I recited the excuse he gave to me. That was a stroke of genius - I aced that exam without reading a single page.\n \nAnd I’ll never forget how he saved me from that accident. \n \nI had saved up so much money - what was it, $1k? $2k? - just to go for that one music festival two states away. I had planned for us both to go there together, where we would pick up some girls, get wasted, and have one hell of a time. Then, Ralph told me: \"No.\"\n \nWhat the hell. I raged at him then, throwing all sorts of vulgarities and making all sorts of obscene gestures. Calling him an ungrateful cunt, and ranting about how much I’ve starved and abstained just to get that amount of money. I then tried to leave for the train station on my own, before he punched and knocked me out. \n \nI awoke on the living room couch, nursing a throbbing headache. But it was worth it. The television in front of me was blaring news about how the train had derailed, killing twenty and injuring hundreds of people. The train that I was to be on. \n \nThat was why I trusted Ralph. That was why I needed him right now, to know if I could rob this store. \n \nBut he was nowhere to be found.\n \nI looked at my watch angrily. Ralph was twenty minutes late, with no calls or texts explaining himself. It was unlike him - he was never late for any meetings.\n \nThat’s it. I was going to find him.\n \nI walked towards the direction of his home, my finger constantly on my phone’s call button. I had to reach him somehow - he was essential in my risk assessment.\n \nI expected to reach him over the phone, or at least walk a longer distance before finding him. I certainly wasn’t expecting this.\n \nRalph was just round opposite the road, conversing with someone. Someone wearing a dark hoodie and black pants. Someone I didn’t recognise. I gritted my teeth - what was he doing? Snitching?\n \nHe’d better have a good explanation.\n \nI looked around, and crossed the road, making sure to tread lightly. I sneaked up behind him quietly, waiting for the right opportunity to sock him….\n \nI stopped. \n \nI *did* recognise that person. \n \nHe had the same neck-length hair. Acne scars. A right eyebrow that was permanently raised slightly. A tattoo on the right side of the neck.\n \nThe only difference was the amount of wrinkles that he had on his face. He looked like an older, more seasoned version of....me.\n \nI was frozen to the spot, unable to react. He seemed to be as stunned as me.\n \n\"Oh shit.\" Ralph had turned around. \"Tony, you can't be here. Tony, you're wreaking havoc as we speak. Tony.....\"\n \n\"Who the hell is this?\" Ralph's voice brought me back to my senses. \"Who is this....this guy that you're snitching to?\"\n \n\"He's you.\" Ralph replied matter-of-factly. \"Tony, you can't rob the store, and you can't be here - \"\n \n\"Because you're snitching on me, right?\" For the first time, I did something without consulting Ralph. I took out my knife and lunged forward, stabbing the guy in the gut.\n \nHe collapsed to his knees, clutching his wound. For some strange reason, he didn’t make a sound. He didn’t react in any way that a normal person stabbed in the gut would; he just seemed to accept his fate, watching his blood pour all over the pavement.\n \nI pointed my knife at Ralph’s throat, watching as tears well up in his eyes. His breathing becoming increasingly flustered, and the blood draining from his cheeks.\n\nI couldn't bring myself to do it.\n\nInstead, I turned around and ran back to the store. I would do what I set out to do.\n\nBehind me, I could hear the rapid footsteps of Ralph, following me closely. He was trying to stop me. But he wouldn't. I would get my money, then I'd....I'd make him silent.\n\nI flung open the door of the empty store and pounced on the cashier. \"EMPTY THE REGISTER!! INTO THE BAG, NOW!!\"\n\nThe cashier was well-built, but he couldn't react in time to fend off my attack.\n\nUntil the door behind me swung open again.\n\nI turned back to see which annoying customer was trying to hinder my robbery, but that was all it took. The cashier hammered my hand, making me drop my knife. I turned back around, only to stare down a barrel of a loaded revolver.\n\nRalph's voice sounded behind me.\n\n\"You can't rob the store. Because he already tried.\"\n\n*I write more stories at my sub [here](https://reddit.com/r/N_attempts_to_write) :-)*"
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[WP] Captain Planet realizes that the only way to ensure the protection of the planet (and his own immortality) is to seize the five magic rings for himself... by any means necessary.
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"He'd known for quite some time that it was going to come to this. Over the years, he'd thought more and more about it. The Planeteers hadn't summoned him in over a decade, and there had been hundreds of opportunities where the planet needed his help. \n\nDeepwater Horizon.\n \nFukushima. \n\nHell, there was even that coal ash spill in North Carolina that he could've helped with. But the Planeteer kids had grown into adults, and as they had, they moved onto more important things than worrying about Gaia. Than worrying about Captain Planet. \n\nDid he resent them for it? He mulled the question in his head as he had many times previously. Yes and no. They were each given great powers to work for the side of good. Yeah, so what if they were kids when they were chosen? They were special; each child was chosen for his or her unique talents and intelligence. But, as is the case with all humans, they'd each changed as they got older. Money was clearly a driving factor for some. Power and fame for others. Always the same with humans.\n\nWheeler and Linka married at a young age, and divorced shortly thereafter. Wheeler garnered fame by creating a stage act that to this day experts say is impossible. How he isn’t consumed by the intense flames during the show, nobody knows. Well, almost nobody. And Linka, always obsessed with birds and flight, got her Master’s in Aerospace Engineering and became the first female Top Gun in US history—from the Soviet Union no less! How the times have changed…\n\nKwame had gone to a premiere university and studied Geology with a minor in seismology. After graduating he developed an early detection system for earthquakes that has made him a millionaire. Yeah, he saved some lives along the way, and he sends a small penance back home to Ghana occasionally, but the money from his mansion and Maserati alone could feed half of the nation's starving children annually.\n\nGi devoted her early adulthood to closing every Sea World and similar venue on the planet, which is a righteous enough cause. However, after all of her hard work, she moved into politics, and as with all politicians, she eventually became corrupt, trading her ideals for campaign donations. \n\nAnd then there’s Ma-Ti. Of all the Planeteers, he was the most passionate about continuing the fight. The others became more distant as they made their own lives, but Ma-Ti never moved on. And how could he? The Planeteers were his only family. He loved Wheeler like a brother. But Wheeler cast him aside like yesterday’s old socks. Now, Ma-Ti wanders the wilderness, helping animals where he can, and avoiding other humans at any cost. Captain Planet had never fully lost his connection with Ma-Ti, as he still held a place in Ma-Ti’s heart. \n\nGaia reaches out to the Captain, “Stop dwelling on the past. I can feel your anger boiling. It does you no good. We both know that our time is coming to an end. Accept your fate. It has always been what it will be.”\n\nHe responds, “You’re right, but I can’t stand by and watch while you’re destroyed. While I’m destroyed! We chose them for a reason. They turned their backs on us. I have to fix this. I have to save the planet. I have to save you…”\n\nBefore Gaia could respond, he cut her out of his mind. If she knew what he planned to do, she’d only try to stop him. \n\n...\n\nCaptain Planet had waited for this exact moment for some time. Not only had The Planeteers parted ways figuratively, but they physically spent most of their time on different continents now. However, as it so happened, 4 of the 5 were going to be in Las Vegas this week. Wheeler spent much of his time there performing his famous act as did Kwame for business. Linka was running test flights in the desert and had a weekend to travel up to Vegas with some friends, and Gi was attending a political conference based there. \n\nThat just left Ma-Ti. He’d been roaming the wilderness of the Eastern California National Parks, and had made it to Red Rock Canyon National Park just west of Las Vegas. Being completely lost, he didn’t even realize how close he was to his long lost brother. But one day—he felt something deep in his heart stir. Is that the Captain? \n\n...\n\n“I’m telling you, we need more fuel! I want this blaze to be the biggest one, yet!” Wheeler said as he directed the stage crew for his big show coming up that night. It was being held at a football stadium to allow for all of the tickets that had been sold. Gi had reached out and said she and her colleagues were attending in a suite, and even Kwame would be there to witness the show. He couldn’t wait to see them. “We’re pulling out all the stops tonight, fellas!”\n\n...\n\nLinka had arrived at her hotel late and her friends were already out on the town. They really wanted to go see the big show tonight, but she wasn’t ready to see Wheeler again. Not after what he’d said to her when they divorced. She still questioned her decision every day, even 7 years later. Had it really been 7 years? \nShe’s pulling on her favorite top when suddenly she feels something. Something is wrong. Something is pulling at her heart but what? No, no, it’s not Wheeler. She can FEEL Ma-Ti. She’d tried to reach out to him countless times in the past 10 years, but was never able to find him. She was certain, though, that he was nearby. As she looks out the window, following the feeling with her own heart, her eyes fall on the stadium. She sprints from the room.\n\n...\n\n“Ladies and gentlemen! People from all over the world! Please, do not fear,” Wheeler says as a timed explosion occurs behind him to gasps and applaud from the crowd. “Tonight, you will witness before your very eyes, a show that will go down in history!” \n\nKwame thinks to himself, “Wow, this ought to be good. Wheeler always had a flair for the dramatic.”\n\nWheeler spins 180 degrees to begin the act, and can see, about 30 yards away, walking toward him, what appears to be a homeless man at first glance. Ragged clothes, long hair and beard each down to his waist. The most surprising thing is that nobody is stopping him. Security guards are all just staring at him or off into the distance. None of them even flinched. And then he knows.\n\n“Ma-Ti? Is that you?” Wheeler said through the live microphone. The entire stadium looked confused and a bit uneasy. And the homeless man, or Ma-Ti, just continued to walk straight toward him. Meanwhile, Kwame and Gi had already felt him in their hearts and were each making their way to the field. \n\n“Ma-Ti. I know it’s you. Brother. Come here,” Wheeler says as he hops off the stage and walked toward Ma-Ti. Suddenly, Wheeler’s heart feels heavy, like it might stop beating and explode at the same time. He almost collapses, but instead stands completely still. By this time, Gi and Kwame are both on the field.\n \n“You all abandoned me. Do not pretend to love me now. Do not pretend to care. For so long I reached out with my heart to see where each of you were, and could tell you no longer cared for me or for Gaia. You completely turned your back on Captain Planet. WE WERE FAMILY! I had nothing else! How could you betray me?!” Ma-Ti’s outburst struck the other Planeteers hearts with such sorrow as they’d never felt. Wheeler was nearly collapsing at this point. No longer able to stand, he had knelt down but continued to look Ma-Ti in the eyes.\n \n“Ma-Ti… brother…” was all that he could manage while reaching out his hand and the world started to go dark. \n\nSuddenly, a burst of wind knocks Ma-Ti away as Linka jumps onto the field. Momentarily, all the stunned guards blink as if coming out of a daze, and as they realize what has happened, they draw their weapons on the strange man. Immediately all of the people in the stadium start scrambling for the exits. But as quickly as the lapse had happened, Ma-Ti had the guards back under his control. He stands up, and looks at the other four Planeteers, panting. \n\n“I have called every bird in the local territory, ever reptile, every rat and rodent, to come to this stadium. Every dog and cat. Ever animal within 500 miles of here felt my call. I’ve driven them mad with frenzy, and they will attack any people they come in contact with. There is only one way to stop them,” Ma-Ti says as the sound of screeching birds and horns and sirens become audible. Wheeler stands back to his feet and looks the others in the eye. \n\n“Ma-Ti, what have you done?” Gi says.\n\n“Summon him, now! Or they will all die!” Ma-Ti screams.\n\n“And what if I just have the ground swallow you whole right now? Won’t they just stop their attack?” Kwame asks as he points his ring in Ma-Ti’s direction, but Gi grabs his hand.\n\n“Oh no, my brother. As I said, they are all driven mad, now. Thousands will die if you try to stop them yourselves. And if you put me in the ground, you cannot summon Captain Planet, and he is the only one who can stop this catastrophe. Make your choice.”\n\nWheeler puts his hand in. “We have to do it. Let’s go. Let our powers combine!” The others all, more slowly put their hands in that oh-so-familiar circle. \n"
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[WP] 10,000 Humans get teleported to an Alien arena to fight to the death. With one issue, They're all Main Characters with Plot Armour.
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"The warriors could not do anything. After hours of fighting gone by, blood was spilled everywhere but with no bodies laying still.\n\nThe combatants were tired, and the crowd was bored. The alien overlords panicked as they tried to get the spectators to stay. There was nothing the humans could do, so they did nothing.\n\nTwo particular humans, a fat dude and a skinny nerd, sat down due to the lack of activity. It was silent in the arena, even though there were like a few thousand humans standing around. The two said nothing to each other, instead just looking around.\n\n\"Hey,\" said the skinny nerd.\n\n\"Yeah?\" Replied the fat dude.\n\n\"You ever wonder,\" the skinny nerd began to ask, \"why we're here?\"\n\nEdit: I don't know how two replicants managed to appear. Must be the iPad I'm using.",
"I fell onto my butt on the sand, trying to grab anything for support. My body tingle like I had grabbed an electric fence, but that was normal compared to my rapid teleportation from the jeepney in Manila to what seemed to be a blue box made of static in the desert. Through the strange forcefield, I could make out other people if various races, though they all seemed to be healthy young adults.\n\n\"Welcome, humans!\"\n\nThe loud, metallic voice came from the sky. I looked up to see a projection of... a spider-bird thing? Whatever it was, it had a pointed beak and a bunch of eyes. Below it, it said \"Translation provided by Tulak\" in big letters.\n\n\"You have been teleported to the Ouran quadrant to serve as gladiators in glorious combat for the empire. 10,000 of you shall battle in the greatest battle royal your species has ever seen, until only one remains to be crowned champion of Earth, and their representative in the Empire.\"\n\nLuckily for me, the translation was read slowly, since I did not speak a lot of English. I quickly got the gist though.\n\n\"An assortment of weapons from various eras have been provided.\"\n\nAs he spoke, a small, smooth green paddle materialized at my feet. I had seen one at a museum during a visit to New Zealand. A jade club. I picked it up uncertainly. It was heavy enough, but looked more like jewelry than a weapon.\n\nLooking at the weapon made me miss whatever the alien said next, but suddenly the sand beneath me slipped away. I fell, screaming, before landing in a puff of apores on some sort of giant alien mushroom. I heard splashes and breaking branches as other people tumbled into the jungle.\n\nI barely had time to sit up before a machine gun started tearing up the fungi around me.\n\n*What the fuck is this bullshit,* I thought as I slid off the mushroom and hid behind a rock. *He's got a machine gun, and I got a semiprecious rock!?*\n\nThe firing stopped and I peaked over the rock to see a black woman in a green uniform get punched by a small Asian man. She tried to club him with the gun, but he kicked her in the knee, and she fell. Now I saw the flash of his brass knuckled as he moved to beat her head in.\n\nBefore anyone could react, a torrent of water came rushing down the hill, sweeping him off his feet and carrying him away. An arrow thudded into the tree where his head had been a second ago. Seeing no one, I took the opportunity to bolt into the woods.\n\n\n\nThat was three days ago. I found a pulpy fruit that tastes kind of like cantelope if you can get over the little seeds. As far as I can tell, no one's actually died, although the aliens have made some very Hunger Games attempts. Last night, the half the arena got bombarded with meteorites, but the announcer just keeps mentioning near misses. Maybe today will be different. I have to get home soon, I promised Maria that I'd be there for her birthday...",
"BOOM.\nSuddenly I was in an arena with people as far as the eye can see, all of us looked around in confusion when suddenly a giant alien hologram appeared and explained why we were there. \n\n\"Hello Earthlings\" he exclaimed. \"You are all gathered here to fight to the death, weapons will be handed out. Now if you would point your eyes at the numbers above me you will see a counter.\" 10,000 was the number depicted on the counter. \"Every number represents one of your lives\" he continued.\n\nShocked with what the alien figure just said, a moment of silence went around, everyone was trying to comprehend what is happening and what is going to happen. When after what seemed like forever one brave guy yelled:\n\n\"And what if we don't fight?\" \n\n\"You'll find out\" The alien figure said in a calm and semi-bored voice. \n\nEveryone started talking at once, I looked around contemplating the best course of action when I saw a group of people talking to each other and walked up to them.\n\n\"We mustn't fight for that is what they want, we mustn't give them what they want my friends!\" This viking looking guy said.\n\n\"You're just scared that you'll lose\" was rebuttaled by this kid dressed like some kind of emo vampire. \n\n\"Like I'd lose to you.\" \n\nAnd that was how the fighting began, seemingly everywhere at once groups of people started fighting, some people got their hands on weapons one way or another.\nI just stood there nailed to the ground at the thought of all the bloodshed that was bound to happen.\n\nI saw the Viking guy trying to strangle the emo kid only for some bystander to attempt to hit him over the head with a rock only for him to stumble and miss Viking guy by an inch. \nBut by stumbling he managed to dodge a random bullet shot from this guy who missed his initial target.\n\nI tried to run away from the moshpit and looked for a saver space near the edges\nof the arena when suddenly this guy came out of nowhere, his spear aimed at my heart, I tried to deflect it using my hands but at the moment the spear would've pierced my hands \nIt... just broke. This guy, flabbergasted by the spear breaking, charged me with his bare hands. He wasn't stopping in his attempts to kill me or kick my ass for whatever reason was going on in his bloodcrazed mind, my mind racing I picked up the broken end of the spear and attempted to sink the pointy head deep into his head, It was me or him and I had gotten lucky with the spear breaking but seconds before the broken spear entered his eyes an axe chopped the spear in half resulting in the broken spear now breaking once again and the guy charging me scared shitless from the sudden axe. \n\nNow the 3 of us, Original spear guy, Sudden axe guy and me were all looking at each other. \n2 of us had no weapon left and the axe guy was lusting for blood, looking at me he swung his axe at my face I managed to dodge-roll and rolled away but axe guy wasn't deterred in chopping my head off, his axe once again swinging at my head I thought; \"there will certainly be no way out of this one\" and looked up at the guy who was certainly going to end my life. \nHe swung his axe down and....\n\nTWOCK..\n\nI opened my eyes only to see axe guy staring at me with a wide gaze. I wondered why I wasn't dead and turned my head towards what used to be an axe, now reduced to nothing more then a short stick, I scurried away on my knees and crawled away from the axe man towards a relatively safer place when I realized what happened, the head of the axe had let go mid swing and was thrown far away from the axe guy. \n\nI couldn't believe my luck, first the spear now the axe. \n\nAs I finally reached the edge of the arena I noticed the fighting was dying out a bit, the battle had to be going on for at least 20 minutes now. \n\nI looked up at the counter which depicted the people who were still alive and noticed.\n\n\n\nIt was still on 10000.",
"\"Good morning Gorblax, we're coming to you live from Xenon 5 where this year's Battle Royale has been under way for three days now. I'm your host, Offergen and with me today in the booth for our hopeful wholesale slaughter is my good friend Delmiath,\" I waved over to my right to signal for the camera to change.\n\n\"Thanks Offergen, over the evening in the ring most of the humans were asleep, looking to get some shuteye before laying into each other's soft fragile skin. Despite early signs that some of the humans were going to make aggressive moves during the evening, all of them seemed unwilling to attack others in their sleep, despite knowing that their lives were on the line.\"\n\n\"Strange behavior in a survival situation Delmiath,\" I commented.\n\n\"That it is Offergen, and now we and all of Gorblax are waiting with baited breath to see what's going to happen today.\"\n\n\"Hopefully death!\" I chimed in while doing my best to keep my panic under illusory psywaves. This year's broadcast was turning out to be a disaster so far. Despite going on for three days the total death count for the humans was sitting at a whopping 7. 7 out of 100,000. At this rate the broadcast was going to be going on for several full Blaxturies.\n\n\"And now we're going to switching over to our action sensing feed to see what's going on down on the surface of Xenon 5,\" I said to finish up the time in the broadcast room before taking a deep breath and drumming my appendages on the counter. I was going to lose my job over this. We were ALL going to lose our jobs over this.\n\nThe feed in front of me cut over to a heated battle between two humans who were somehow still attractive by human standards after three days of impossible conditions and combat. They had each found weapons and were slashing at one another while saying short phrases in their 'language'. Despite a dozen flashes of steel between the two of them, there wasn't a single drop of blood shed. \n\n\"Do we have anything better to show?\" I asked Delmiath as she injected positive gasses into her system.\n\n\"We have three thousand and forty two making speeches to nobody in particular and over 60,000 wandering while pausing every couple moments to look dramatic,\" she said, \"at least both of these humans are using weapons.\"\n\n\"Are the rest not?\" I asked. On the screen the two humans clashed again before both of their weapons went spiraling off in impossible directions. Both of the humans glared at one another before commenting again in their language and pushing away from one another.\n\nThe live feed cut away, but Delmiath and I got to watch them actually walk away from one another. \n\n\"Hi! Welcome back to the booth,\" I said as the light flashed red out of nowhere. The prompter in front of me started scrolling so I started reading, \"we're going to bring you into the lab with our resident human expert Maddicyus to explain what might be going on here with the human's inability to kill one another. Maddicyus.\"\n\nThe camera cut over to the desk on the other side of the room where Maddicyus had just taken his seat. \"Well, it's a strange phenomenon really. Humans have a long history of violence with population significant casualties on both sides of the conflict. Perhaps the human resilience is coming into effect here. Humans are fragile but they do come from an extremely hostile planet that forces them to adapt to different situations, often overcoming wounds that could kill others of their species. There is a chance that their hyper adaptive nature could have given them-\"\n\nI cut off the scientist, \"Yes, but we did given them weapons that are on par or superior to the weapons we used to conquer their species last week when the glorious empire killed millions of their people to make their kneel before our God King. Why did they not adapt then?\"\n\n\"That is a variable that we cannot understand, but we are looking into changing the weaponry in the arena to a more large scale variety to stop the issue of everything 'barely missing'. Hopefully things don't come to that, but obviously we are looking to create an enjoyable viewing experience.\"\n\n\"Exactly,\" I cut off the scientist again before he gave a 'but'. \"and this viewing experience is brought to you by Zorbapet, bringing aliens right to your doorstep to be your new emotional companion. Zorbapet is now offering pre-orders on humans brought all the way from their home planet of earth, and if you order today they will include a mini-biome to get your human habitat started. Get everything you need to being some bio-diversity to your home with Zorbapet, for non-feathered friends.\""
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[WP] After catastrophic tidal waves affect coastlines around the globe, a new continent is discovered in the Pacific Ocean. Every ship or aircraft sent to explore the island so far has vanished.
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"I knew it was to good to be true. It was like a pros and cons list with no cons. No negative yet to see. Until we approached... it was like nothing is seen before, breathtaking yet lifegiving. A beauty which even the highest had never seen. An ocean of purple shrubery and forestry, with which a camera could never show. Almost untouched by the hand of man. Except... the lowly twirl of rusted blades, putting a mark on the landscape, and carried an aura of death along with it. Of course I would've looked at it more from the helicopter, but the silence passed through the passengers was interrupted, as a smear of red passed over the the glass of the windshield. An atm of a man, still sporting the markings of a beast. A bird. No. A reptile have us a glance from the highest peaks of the mountains wear mist met ground. It didn't look long though, I suppose it was busy launching into our helicopter and tearing out one out men. He had accepted defeat, I could tell by the clang of metal that struck me in the face. Dog tags, a sign that you died fighting, whether you were successful or not. He was not kept in this creatures mouth, but I'm its stomach, where he was digested and spat, down into a new generation of these things. I carried a dinosaur book, my only childhood object not kept by my parents. I flipped straight through and saw. Pterodactyl. The one word my finger landed on. We'll leave I thought. We started to swivel as I assumed we began to rotate back around and be on our way. This was not the case, for again we made a revolution. It was then I knew we were headed down to the ground. Where fate and death sat in the bleachers waiting. I didn't quite understand at first. But a whole group of these beasts sprang out, and one was a little curious with the blades. Down we went, into the depths as I imagined my arm fly towards a chopper of the next group. As we barreled down from the sky I remembered. I packed an emergency raft. Or, well, I guess the helicopter had one, but I inflated it. And as I fell into the ground on that raft I shed a tear for the fallen men I left. I made it to the ground, hurting a few limbs. Sporting only a sweaty tank top, camo jeans and a backpack. I am that survivor. The man who lived on the continent of death."
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[WP] Earth has been notified that it is the new capital of the Milky Way galaxy. No one here knows what this means or how to get in contact with whomever just sent the message.
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"CONGRATULATION EARTH :JOY EMOJI:\n\nYOU ARE HEREBY NOTIFIED THAT IT IS THE NEW CAPITAL OF THE MILKY WAY GALAXY\n\nEveryone on Earth was pretty sure this text message was some kind of hacker’s hoax, until three hours later when the sky became a grid of millions of red lights. The grid lasted for a few minutes, pulsing idly and then vanished.\nOn every front door of every building was a small, white, cardboard box with the simple word in bold, black, all-caps, large courier font: “CONGRATULATION”. Underneath, stamped in red (also all-caps) were the words: “MILKY WAY CAPITAL EARTH.”\n\nOpening the white box revealed a tri-folded brochure showing 1970’s vacation photos of Florida talking about how great it was to be a galactic capital “getaway”; always with the all-caps “EARTH” stamped in red next to any occurrence of the words, “galactic capital”.\nThe Earth was confused.\n\nThe next day a flyer appeared on every doorstep worldwide. The advertisement had much nicer graphic design; exciting starburst patterns using bright oranges, yellows and purples. The phrase on the front, in a stylistic font read: “Prepare to be”, and then underneath in amazing rainbow colors, ”Annihilated!” \nThe Earth became worried.\n\nThe U.N. held an emergency session.\n\nThe secretary-general stood before the world and held up a green foam keychain (the kind that made sure your keys didn’t sink if you were boating) and a pen; each had the words, “CONGRATULATION EARTH CAPITAL, 2017 EARTH DATE” printed on them.\n\n“All this paraphernalia,” she began. “Or ’swag’ as it’s sometimes called, that has been appearing on people's’ doors has us all confused. And the Annihilation note has us all concerned. But at this point we have not been able to determine who or what is doing this. At this time we are simply asking the world to try to just ignore this and hope it goes away.”\n\nAnd the world did their best.\n\nFor the next month everyone on Earth continued to receive packages and letters congratulating Earth on becoming the ‘capital’; all of them poorly mass-printed with retro vacation photos for graphics.\n\nBy the second week, it became common to see the “CONGRATULATION” baseball caps speckled in crowds; there was no surprise seeing a wallet with the words “EARTH IT IS THE BEST CAPITAL, 2017” stamped across it.\nOn Monday of the third week, Earth received its ‘Annihilation’.\n\n‘Annihilation - The Flavor Decimator’, was a breakfast cereal. It had a stay-fresh, rockin’ flavor that really got you ready to destroy your day! It was a major hit on Earth.\n\nThe “Prepare to be Annihilated” flyers had been advertising this breakfast cereal, which had all the daily vitamins and nutrients a growing human* boy or girl could need!\n\nScientists were baffled by the holographic printing of the box, and the way that there was no cereal dust in the bottom of the bag.\n\nAnd then, on the final day of the fourth week, the last package was delivered to everybody’s doorstep: A large “thank you” bouquet.\n\nIn the bouquet was a note, this is what it read:\nDear Earth the planet,\n\nWe hope you’ve enjoyed your standard human* month prize package. Thank you for entering and winning the “Being Galactic Capital” contest! I It is fun! So in closing, we, the folks down here at XeXEn’tiltak Main Annihilation Breakfast Cereal contest office wish you the best!\n\nThe U.N. held another emergency conference.\n\nThe secretary-general stood again and addressed the world.\n\n“OK,” she began. “So it looks like we won some alien breakfast cereal contest. But what we didn’t know is how we got entered into it. Not until this morning.”\n\nThe secretary-general beaconed for something, and an envelope was brought to her hand.\n\n“Here on my desk this morning was this galactic mail-forward request!”\n\nAnd she held the envelope up for everyone to read.\n\nOn the “TO:” field was written “MARS”.\n\nExcept “MARS” had been crossed-out. Instead, scrawled next to it were the words, “FORWARD TO: EARTH”.\n\nThe secretary-general lowered the envelope.\n\n“It would appear, people of Earth, that Mars won a breakfast cereal contest and forwarded all the junk mail to us,” she concluded.\nThe assembly grumbled. People around the Earth muttered disapproval.\n\n“That is why,” she then announced, “along with,” she added, “the fact that Annihilation cereal - The Morning Munchie Murderer - is ten times better than any breakfast cereal Earth has ever had, we, the people and the countries of Earth declare war on Mars!”\n\nThe U.N. assembly and the television viewers at home all leapt to their feet in cheers and applause. Planet Earth - the once-winner of an intergalactic breakfast food company’s ad campaign naming it ‘Galactic Capital’ - was mobilized for a full-fledged flavor invasion.\n\n.\n.\n.\n.\n.\n\n\n*scientists and linguists were never able to decipher the footnote on the cereal box which specified exactly what the aliens meant by “human”. Though there was apparently some kind of warning in the footnote about non-humans eating more than ten boxes of Annihilation - the second-breakfast second-degree hobbit-hunger killer. To this date, no human (or human) has managed such to eat more than four boxes in one sitting.*\n"
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[WP] After nearly 300 years traveling to a planet thought to be habitable, a rover’s signal reaches earth. Upon landing, it transmits only one image before losing contact— a foggy but brightly lit street with a billboard in the distance reading “God is here”
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"I raised the photograph to my eye-level, then lowered it, then raised it again, then lowered it again. This was it. There was no doubt now that this was the place that I had been searching for, that we all had been searching for – for as long as any of us could remember. The street really wasn’t anything like I had expected it to be. Really, I wasn’t expecting a street at all, maybe a great temple or some majestic forest, but not the sight that was now before me.\n\nIt wasn’t anything peculiar; instead, it was basically any old street that you would find on earth. The buildings to either side of me were monolithically tall; stretching to the horizon like rows of tombstones, just with the addition of hundreds of tiny windows dit-dotting their stony visages. Whether there was life hiding behind those windows, I couldn’t tell. There certainly wasn’t a trace of it on the street, only me.\n\nIt was a difficult feeling to describe; me, standing in the middle of that street. The first thing I noticed was the isolation: there were no people, whether they’re human or alien, roaming the streets. There weren’t any vehicles here either. Not any in motion, at least. The vehicles that I did see were peacefully parked on one side of the road or the other. No chaos, no disorder, just simply empty, as if I had been unlucky enough to arrive at those inopportune moments where city slept. And each of its inhabitants was slumbering in those distant, alien lights that adorned the buildings of the skyline. They looked like stars from where I stood.\n\nBut I wasn’t here for them, whether those beings existed or not. I had – not just me, my entire species – traveled all this way for a single, all-important purpose.\n\nI glanced at the photograph one last time – God is here – before continuing down my path, down the streets. As I walked, I couldn’t shake the feeling that the lights above were watching me, like a vulture to carrion. Here he comes, they seemed to say, after all this time, here he comes.\n\nIt took me a while to find the right room. Up and down that street I tried at every door or window I could get my hands on – most presented themselves as only just out of my grasp. But they were all locked, all save for one.\n\nIt was when I swung that one door open that I saw you for the first time. The room was near pitch-black, and the only illuminations were those few rays of light emanating from the outside windows, and even they struggled, as the air was thick with this hitherto unexplained smoke, from wall-to-wall.\n\nBut there you were, sitting cross-legged in the center of the room with that queer-looking pipe in your hand. You looked at me, and it was a look I struggled for so long to describe. It was like a father welcoming his son after a long trip; I was returning home. That wasn’t what I wanted, I wanted adventure and exploration. If this was the last shadow in the universe, the room’s last unseen corner to receive the light of humanity, well, it was disappointing, to say the least. We weren’t ready to come home yet.\n\nAnd I think you saw that disappointment on my face because you smiled. It was an unforgettable smile, a smile that had all manner of hidden pleasures contained; sugar, the sweetest syrup, my mother’s love, my father’s approval, and all the pleasant things in life that had eluded me thus far.\n\nAnd there was no confusion, no awkwardness that was always paired with the first meeting of two strangers. No sensibilities or suppression of my soul until we had spoken enough for me to guess at your soul. I already knew you, and you knew me. So my feet carried me forward, and in the next moment, I was positioning myself to sit opposite to you, ready to be honest like I had never been before.\n\nI didn’t know what to say initially, so the first few minutes – or hours, days, I cannot remember, nor does it really matter now – passed by in silence. I couldn’t bring myself to speak the first worlds, because, in a way, we spoke to each other through the silence. I saw your face, and you saw mine. It was enough.\n\nEventually, you spoke.\n\n‘You came,’ you said.\n\n‘I did,’ I replied. I didn’t expect the words to come out so abruptly, but they did.\n\nAfter that exchange, you let a few more moments pass, occasionally bringing the pipe to your mouth, adding more rings of smoke to the room.\n\n‘Out of all my children, why did you decide to go?’ You said.\n\nI had nothing to say to that. There were plenty of reasons why I was chosen to be the one to speak to you. But now that I was here, looking upon your face, none of them came to mind, and I felt as if, if any of them did, none of them was worthy enough to be formed into words. I was not worthy.\n\n‘I don’t know, they just chose me,’ I said, finally.\n\n‘You do know,’ you pressed gently, ‘because you are wise, courageous, and kind. You have grasped to your heart all that my children dream of becoming, yet many are unable to.’\n\n‘I suppose I am,’ there was no point playing at humility, maybe I really was all those things.\n\n‘Why did you come?’ You asked me.\n\n‘Because we’re done,’ I blurted out.\n\n‘Done? Explain,’ you smiled, lifting the pipe to your lips yet again.\n\n‘We’ve done it all,’ I repeated, ‘Every planet has been formed to our comfort. Every star in the universe has been harvested, those that die we simply give life to again. We have ceased to fight against our own. We have fostered good-will and friendship between all the peoples of this universe. We have truly learned what it means to be human. We love, struggle, and overcome in our lives, having achieved the closest we can to perfection. There are no mysteries left in the universe, nothing remaining to be accomplished. We’ve done it all.\n\n‘Except for one thing,’ you said, holding the pipe towards me. I took it in my hands.\n\n‘Everything, but we haven’t met you; the architect of it all,’ I turned the pipe over in my hands. The design was plain; a simple wooden pipe with something unknown in the bowl, ‘what’s in here?’ I asked, gesturing at the smoldering substance within, where a thin wisp of vapor snaked its way upwards.\n\n‘The fruit of the tree,’ you said matter-of-factly, ‘the one I had prepared for you this whole time. The one you had spoiled your appetite for by taking before you were ready.’\n\n‘The fruit of Adam,’ I said to myself, slowly beginning to understand. I looked at the pipe, transfixed. Somewhere in the back of my mind, the incomprehensible scale and complexity of it all were rattling around, shouting, begging to be understood. But I could not, I would not. Am I ready for this? The thought echoed around my head, but I already knew the answer.\n\nI held the pipe to my lips and took it in."
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[WP] After countless attempts to no avail, you are finally having your first lucid dream. You soon grow aware of two terrifying realities: you cannot physically wake up, and there is something following you inside your dream, something far beyond your control.
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"The clouds drifted high overhead, floating high as it shifted from shape to shape, my finger drawing its forms as I laid against the soft grass. First an elephant, then to a kitten drinking milk, and on and on. It had taken a long time, but I figured out that If I could keep going, keep my mind within the dream, it would happily stay. Sometimes it would get hard to tell the difference between this and a regular dream, everything being so real, but not. Tangible, yet ghastly compared to its everyday self, as if everything can shift at a moment’s notice.\n\nBecause it can if I will it. The deep rooted trees can sprout legs and terrorize the neighborhood at my command. I can cause buildings to topple, mountains to crumble, even change gravity to bend to my will. And that’s just on my bad days.\n\nOn the days where the world *hasn’t* beaten me cold and humorless, I can endlessly create. \nI can float above the world and allow anything to come into reality, a god in my mind’s eye. A whole new moon made of swiss cheese? A flick of the wrist, some finer carving for detail, and it’s done. I can conjure bread for the starving, books for the hungry of mind, and shower the poor with money. \n\nI flew further and further into my universe, spawning world after world of strange creatures in the starry depths. \n\n“Keep going.” a whisper reached me from untold fathoms, extended as an invitation. It didn’t stop when I willed it.\n\nThat was strange, how could anything resist my orders? Especially in my own mind?\n\n“Further and further you glide, yet you do not understand what it means to dream. A pity” the whispers grew resonant as I stayed my course. \n\nI felt unseen talons extending towards my back. Edging closer and closer to snap my spine in a bored search for something… lost. I turned to find nothing, save for the shining new worlds careening away behind me. \n\nI wiped my brow; when had I started sweating? I was scared. Normally when I got scared I’d wake up with a fit. Now, though, it was different. I turned my body and went on, towards the pull.\n\nI went on and on, extending my will through nothingness, trying to find the presence and put my wandering thoughts to an end. I don’t know how much time passed, but I stopped, giving up on my search. As i turned to my now dust sized world’s in the distance, the voice tugged at my mind again, \n\n“You create these petty worlds, play with them for your own amusement. Your dreams are but a lie; sweet nothings that will fall away once you awaken.” The voice echoed in the unending dark, as I no longer cared for creating. My curiosity was locked in on this strange being. If its purpose here was to draw me closer, then I headed straight for peril. I swallowed the lump that grew in my throat and obeyed the tether.\n\nFor hours I obeyed, following the line through the black depths that was cast from an unknown fisher. \n\n“Fine. So you wish to know who I am?” the voice boomed. “What I am?” \n\nI stopped cold against the might that reverberated to my core, eating through what thoughts drifted in my mind. \n\nThe talons returned a thousandfold, flaying my spirit, looking for any crevice to rip through.\n\n“Open your heart to me, and know my name.” The talons were joined by serrated fangs and deafening screams.\n\n“Make it stop” I said, willing a world around me to guard from the onslaught.\n\n“No. You flee from a world that is alight with life. Burning with passion and vitality that you have shunned to stay in this realm.” the being said, tearing into the world that protected me. \n\n“Open your heart to me, and know my name.” The rending of my shell grew faster and faster. \n\nI screamed out, hoping for anyone, anything to save me.\n\n“You have fallen into the void, there will be no salvation.” Once again it thundered, “Open your heart to me, and know my name.” \n\nI could feel the world being shredded around me, torn asunder as if it was my own flesh. The presence closed in, pressing my shell hard against me. It was then I knew that there would be no escape. A river of pain and fear cascaded as tears down my face. \n\n“Just make it stop.” I said. “My heart is yours!”\n\nThe attack halted, creating an absence that was somehow more frightening before. I could almost see the fanged smile behind the immense presence that had assaulted my will.\n\n“I am Xolotl.”\n\n---\nIf you enjoyed this, please give my other writings a try at /r/RiverasReads! It means a lot to receive any feedback!\n\nedited a few words to make more sense grammatically. ",
"I had tried it all. Vitamin B, snowdrop pills, meditation, sleep routines, *pre*-sleep routines, and nothing had worked for my dreams. Until I find the binaural beats. Sounds that were halfway to music, making me feel like I was floating, even while awake. I knew they were the solution. I waited for the weekend to try it, a time I'd be free to sleep and explore my dream worlds for as long as I wanted, without the harsh reality of work and alarms crashing through. \n\nAnd now here I was, *awake* in my dreams for the first time, the sounds providing the peaceful backdrop. I stood in front of a sparkling waterfall, the water brighter than any I've ever seen in real life. The plants surrounding it were vividly green, the flowers and birds an almost overwhelming maelstrom of color. My target dream had been nature- just nature. And here it was. The bleak chrome and drab grays of my city were getting to me in real life, and I needed an escape, any escape. And here it was.\n\nI called one of the birds down to me, letting it rest on my arm as I stroked its feathers. It was like nothing I'd ever seen before, bright red, yellow and orange. *A phoenix,* I thought, and suddenly the bird was awash in flames, taking off into the air with fire and ash trailing in its wake.\n\nI almost called it back before I remembered- a dream. It was a dream, and I could control it. I took a running leap into the air, falling back to the ground. *I want to fly,* I thought.\n\n\"I want to fly!\"\n\nMore birds took off when I yelled. *I want to fly with them.* Another running leap, and another, until I was nearly in the trees, and then I was airborne, wind whistling in my hair. I stumbled, nearly running into a tree, my legs hanging freely under me until I pulled them up, taking the Superman pose. I whooped and swooped joyfully as my flight pattern steadied, racing towards the flock of birds that had first greeted me. \n\nThe phoenix was barely still in view, but the ashes still trailed behind it, as did streaks of its fiery wings.\n\n*There's a thought...* I concentrated, losing altitude for a moment until the flames sparked up behind me.They were a small trail at first, barely enough to be noticeable, and then they spread, falling behind me like the trail of a comet.\n\nI laughed again, the birds around me falling lower and away, making room for me to follow the phoenix. It shrieked and sped up, its own trail growing as it went. \n\n\"You won't get away that easily!\" I focused again, *altitude and speed, altitude and speed!*, and the flames narrowed, the force pushing me forward, closer and closer to the phoenix.\n\nIt shrieked again, wheeling around to fly towards a mountain, the summit engulfed in foreboding storm clouds.\n\nSomething about the clouds made my stomach drop. I froze, staring at them. Fear overwhelmed me, and I tried to take a step backwards, only to feel nothing but air and air and air and I fell, the air currents buffeting me around.\n\n*My first lucid dream, and it ends because I was scared by some rain,* I thought ruefully, some part of my mind locked away from the numb terror I felt as the ground rushed towards me. I concentrated on flight and fire and not falling, but the storm clouds still loomed in my mind's eye. \n\n*A cushion then. A mattress! Anything, please, just don't let it end like this! I don't want to wake up!*\n\nI hit the ground hard. A plume of dirt flew into the air around me, and I couldn't see where I'd landed, just knew that it was somewhere still in the forest. I closed my eyes and tried to calm my frantic breathing, listening hard to try to figure out if I had woken up or not. A shock like that, a fall- I had to be awake now. I just didn't want to open my eyes again and see my room, didn't want to see the city through my window, dull and boring.\n\nI sat up, eyes still closed. My ribs and back ached, the dirt was gritty on my hands, under my nails, and it felt *good*. I opened my eyes and climbed out of my little crater, taking in the trees around me again. Something about them felt off, like they'd faded out of reality a bit. I reached out my hand to touch one of them, but couldn't. I stopped my hand less than an inch away, but the trees were wrong, the light from the sky was off, like I was seeing it from behind a filter. \n\n*I want to go somewhere else.* I tried to picture a portal, swirling bright blue energy, sparks of lighting bursting in and out of it, and the mountain with its malevolent storm clouds loomed again. *Somewhere else, somewhere else, somewhere else*\n\nI heard a zap and there it was, shining and bright and real, not faded like everything around me was. I hesitated in front of it, looking around once more. \n\n\"It's not running away,\" I told myself. I heard a branch crack in the distance, and then felt the rumble of something huge, something headed for me, crashing through the trees. I dove through the portal.\n\n\n"
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[WP] You realize that your dog gets his superpowers from the food you give him. You try some for yourself.
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"I stared at Duke as he walked along the ceiling. my mouth gaped as he nonchalantly strolled the length of apartment. As he reached the window I saw it...the neighbors cat perched in the windowsill across the alley. Duke had for years been plotting to kill that cat. Before I could even move he bolted. A graceful leap through the open window. I panicked as I had visions of Duke falling the seven stories to the concrete below, but as I would soon learn, this bag of Kibbles and Bits contained something extraordinary.\n\nDuke flew gracefully through the air and landed gently on the neighbor's balcony some 30 feet across the alley. I raced to the window just in time to see him rise up on his hind legs. Looking almost human, he used his front paws and gently opened the window granting him access to his feline nemesis.\n\nSurprisingly the cat just sat there, staring, almost unphased by this unbelievable chain of events. As if it couldn't get any weirder, Duke opened his mouth and gently laid a few pieces of kibble in front of the cat. She sniffed it for a moment before looking over at Duke. I had to rub my eyes in astonishment. It looked like Duke was TALKING to the cat! after their \"discussion\", the cat ate the food in front of her. Within seconds I could see the fur on the back of that cat stand straight up and she looked rather sinister. She too rose onto her back paws and the two of them walked back out to the balcony and directly up the wall of the building to the roof ten stories above.\n\nNow I knew it was the food! I ran back to the kitchen and grabbed the remaining handful of food from Duke's bowl. Without a second thought I popped it all in my mouth and began to chew. I choked it all down and sat waiting for something to happen. I stared out the window awaiting my pal's return but he was nowhere to be seen. I tried to crawl up the wall to the ceiling where Duke had been just moments before....nothing. I guess this stuff only works on animals.\n\nI saw Duke and the cat walking back down the side of the building. I tried to call Duke over but I couldn't speak! All that came out of my mouth was some high pitched whiny \"aaarghff!\" Duke glanced in my direction but continued his stroll with the feline right beside him reaching the sidewalk and heading in the direction of the park.\n\nI sprinted out of the apartment and headed down the stairs, as I flew through the door and out into the brisk evening I suddenly became aware that I could hear things, lots of things that I never would have picked up on before. I could hear people talking quietly across the block, a truck backing up 3 streets away, the oil bubbling in the wok's of the Chinese restaurant down the street. I could smell it too! Sesame oil from the restaurant, garbage from the dumpster behind my building and then...very faintly I caught a whiff of Duke! It was a smell I can't remember experiencing before but I knew it was him. I set off toward the park. It wasn't until I was half way there that I realized what was happening. \n\nThe food...it may have turned Duke into some superpowered freak, but it...turned me....into a dog! I let that thought set in as I felt an itch attacking my cheek. Without hesitation I knelt down and clawed at my own face with my foot, Nike and all.\n\nThis was all too weird! I need to get back inside! I turned around and headed back to my building. On the way I stopped to sniff a tree and pee on a fire hydrant. Once inside the safety of my apartment I circled my bed four times and curled up with my head resting on my knee. I hope this stuff wears off!\n\n"
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[WP]You are the anti-matchmaker. Instead of introducing someone to the love of their life, you introduce them to their mortal enemy.
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"I would like better the idea of the main character actually looking for their anti-mortal. The person in which becomes their mortal enemy. This time they have a chance to defeat one another to live in peace.\nI'm a slow writer. So I guess you can call this a teaser. \n...... \n\n\"People are connected Beth, not as soul mates but as living mortal enemies.\" \n Beth shook her head in disapproval. \n“It is time I go and find him. \" he slammed his fist onto the wall. \n\"Not everyone survives Jerri. Remember Thomas?\" Beth pleaded, her hands clutching the back of his shirt. \n\"I am not going to wait around and find a knife in my back. You're too important for me.\" Beth turned her head on his shoulder, wiping her fresh hot tears. “I don't want you to leave me, \" she whispered. \n“Beth, if I kill him, you wouldn't have to worry anymore. I will be able to live a long full life. I will be there for our family.\" \nBeth loosened her grip, letting a hand fall to her middrif. \n\"How do you know? \" she asked. He turned slowly and his hands gripped both of her arms. His warmth was permeating through her skin into her. \n\" I can see it in your face,\" he said, now caressing her cheek. She lowered her head into his hands. \n\"when will you go?\" she asked. He slid his thumb over her ear affectionately. \n\"Tonight.\" \n",
"Several taps on the mahogany table betrayed my moment in thought.\n\n\"Well?\" Mr. Armageddon asked.\n\nI looked up at him from the rim of my glasses, turning my attention from the monitor and giving him my most reassuring smile.\n\n\"Well Mr. Armageddon. I am sure you came to me today because you know my reputable reputation as the 'Anti-Matchmaker'.\" An excited nod affirmed my thoughts.\n\n\"And I am sure you are aware I have made matches where some of my customers are quite pleased while others... less so.\" I slightly turned one of the many framed pictures, angling it ever so lightly towards Mr. Armageddon, diverting his attention towards the image of Batman leaping towards a mad-stricken Joker within pouring rain. I allowed myself a light smile at the glimmer of awe in his expression, the thought that he too could get a mortal enemy just as worthy.\n\n\"However,\" the word was sharp, lacking the previous lilt of positivity. \"Your outfit, is rather un-befitting of our future endeavours.\" I waved at his getup. Tribal bands coloured his neck, leaves that stuck out like thorns all around, a red bandanna with slits as a mask for his eyes, and spiked piercings adorning his lower lip and cheeks. \"Perhaps I could have done something with you back in the 80's but nowadays, heroes ask for something more otherworldly. Something with perhaps more clothing, and less 'promise of doom and despair'.\" I allowed myself a light chuckle at the cliche, only to suppress it with a cough at the sight of my clients disappointed appearance.\n\n I got up from my seat and walked towards my array of windows which gave me a panoramic view of the entire city of 'Battleoppolis'. Even now during the approaching afternoon I could see the glimpses of explosions and sparks from behind the veil of skyscrapers.\n\n\"Tell you what Mr. Armageddon, you seem like a positively ghastly villain.\" I lied.\n\n\"Let us attempt a trial period with one of the lesser heroes... how about... Rubberman! He is a rather retired hero who also is not of this day and time... although Mr. Fantastic seems to be the exception to the rule.\" I printed out the files and with renewed energy and smile I stamped the papers with Mr. Armageddon's name and stapled them to Rubberman's files.\n\n\"Perhaps you two will positively hate each other so much that you can start something.\" I said. This time my smile far more genuine, and far more sinister."
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[WP] During an eclipse party you have a migraine, you go to sleep and wake up after the eclipse. Your friends are silent and smile weirdly to you. Outside your wife does the same. She's right beside a pillar. The pillar have a shadow. Your wife don't. You are certain your wife should have a shadow.
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"Ben woke up to silence. \n\nIt was unsettling. A party should have music, conversations, laughter... \n\nHe lowered the thick blanket covering his face, squinting at the still too-bright light. Migraines plagued him since childhood, but that last one was something else entirely. As his eyes adjusted to the light, Ben could make put three figures standing above his bed, all still. \n\nHis vision focused. \n\nIt was Carl, Hugh and Jeff. They all had wide smiles. It looked out of place, as though someone had ripped them off happy faces and glued them to these. \n\n\"Hey guys.\" Ben forced the words out, an irrational feeling of fear filling him. They didn't respond. \n\nBen couldn't stay there, under those looks. He got up and walked out the door, waiting for them to grab him. They didn't. \n\nDownstairs was empty, despite it being full of people not an hour ago. \n\n\"Ben?\" His wife's voice. It came from outside. The porch. He quickly made his way over to the front door. He needed to see her. \n\n\"Lily.\" Ben sighed as he saw her. She stood with her back to him, staring out at the eclipsed sun. It was fully covered, a black orb with a yellow outline, despite SeaTac not being in the zone of totallity. \n\n\"Isn't is beautiful?\" She whispered. \n\nShe turned around. Though she had Lily's body, her yellow sundress, her voice; it wasn't Lily. This woman was hideous, a long crooked nose hanging over thin and cracked lips. She had no eyebrows, nor lashes, and a large mole on a weak chin. But her eyes were what stood out the most. Instead of her light blue iris's, she had a sickly yellow color surrounding an impossibly black pupil. They were unfocused, tired and weary. They were the eyes of a dead woman. \n\n\"You look different.\" She said, stepping toward him. The porch-light was on, but she cast no shadow. \"You're not Ben. Who are you?\" \n\nBen didn't reply. He couldn't. \n\n\"Who are you?\" The woman shrieked, voice impossibly high-pitched. \"Who are you? Who are you? WHO ARE YOU!\" \n\nThe shadow of the moon faded away, and with it, the sun lit the area up once more. As the light spread, the scene changed. People began to appear as if they'd always been there, chatting and smiling with one another. They held drinks and plates of food. The guests. \n\nThe woman had Lily's face again. She looked at Ben with a frown. Was it her? \"Is everything OK, Dad?\" \n\nHe looked down at his pants, finding them wet with piss. No one seemed to notice. \n\n\"Are you having a migraine? The eclipse isn't for another hour. Why not head upstairs and get some rest?\" \n\n\"No!\" He almost shouted. The guests on the porch glanced over. Some looked down at his pants and seemed embarrassed. \n\n\"Dad,\" Lily stepped over and grabbed Ben by the arm, obviously noticing the piss. \"Let's go up-\" \n\n\"Why are you calling me that?\" Ben asked as he let his wife walk him inside. He caught a glimpse of himself in the reflection of a window. He was an old man, wrinkled skin sagging. He looked back at Lily- no, not Lily, but a near-twin. \n\nA daughter? \n\n\"What year is it?\" Ben asked, voice a whisper. \n\n\"Twenty twenty-four.\" She said, calm. Her eyes held pity. \"Come on Dad, let's get you some rest.\" \n\nBen felt tired. And confused. And angry. He agreed though, and went upstairs. \n\n"
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[WP] Rick Sanchez meets professor Hubert Farnsworth
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"Rick looked to Morty with barely contained contempt, slowly licking across the top of an envelope, before pressing it shut. \"You, *burp* you think we should deliver this ourselves, huh?\" \n\nMorty looked warily between the envelope and Rick, trying to sense the trap that he knew was in the question, but failing wildly to identify it. \"Yeah, you don't want to go visit Florida?\" Rick's eyes narrowed, but Morty pushed on. \"I, I mean they have oranges grow there and, like, like it's pretty warm and there's Disneyland and stuff.\" \n\nThat was the last straw for Rick. He poked his finger into Morty's chest, pushing him back across the garage until he bumped up against a cabinet. \"*Disneyland?* You want to visit some shithole park with vermin as a mascot when we could go to *any one of like a billion better places*? But no, you think cheap knock-offs of crappy remade 90s movies that have been shit-out for no effort to simply chase a few bucks, rather than come up with original storylines, you think *that* is the place where we should focus our precious time for enjoyment? Huh? That park? That's where you want to go?\" \n\nFor a moment Morty looked down at the finger and then his shoulders slumped. \"I, I just figured that if we were going to Florida anyway...\" \n\n\"Oh *yeah*, for all the oranges, right? Can't get a orange in every market, can you? Gotta go to *Florida*?\" Morty didn't reply, he just looked at his shoes, shuffling them slightly. Rick spun away on his heel. \"That's what I thought. *Oranges*.\" He rolled his eyes. \"And no, we are not taking it ourselves, we have *delivery* companies for that sort of thing.\" He pulled out a button that looked suspiciously like an Amazon Dash button, but crazily rewired and with a picture of a little spaceship on it. He pointed it up and pressed it. \n\nA moment passed and nothing happened, then the clouds seemed to rip apart as a green spaceship plummeted to the ground and landed neatly in front of the house. Almost as it touched the ground a man ran down the steps, utterly out of breath as he threw a lazy salute to Rick, then bent over to try to recover. \n\n\"Planet...*whew* ...Express ... *huff* ... delivery...*whoof* ...at your service sir.I am Fry, your ... *whoo*... delivery boy.\" \n\nRick slowly folded his arms across his chest and stepped back. \"*You're* my deliver boy? Why are you so out of breath?” \n\nFry wheezed a little. “Bender and I were playing badminton with the toaster on the way here and it kept putting shots to the back of the court.” \n\nRick looked Fry up and down. “I thought the Professor said my mail would only be handled by *qualified professionals*.\" \n\nFry, recovered enough to be insulted, straightened up as much as he could. \"Hey, I've been delivering stuff since before your great ancestors were born.\" \n\n\"My great...?\" Rick looked on in confusion. \"Look, is there someone else who I can give this very important letter to, who is *not* an idiot.\" \n\nFrom the ship came the muffled sounds of slippers slapping down stairs and a small wrinkly head bobbed into view, gently prodded by a tall, muscular, purple haired cyclops. She pushed him forward, towards Rick. \"Tell him Professor.\" \n\nThe Professor crossed his arms and set him mouth. \"Shant.\"\n\nRick’s eyes narrowed again and he glanced down to Morty. “Hey, go and play with their idiot while I talk to the grown ups.” \n\nMorty nodded, but his eyes were drawn to the white tank top of Leela. “I… yeah, what?” He glanced up to Fry. “Hey.”\n\nFry flicked his hair out of his eyes in a way he had seen on a shampoo commercial. In the commercials the women looked sexy and confident and he liked to think it did the same for him. “That’s Leela, she’s my girlfriend.” \n\n“On again, off again.” Leela interjected wearily. “But can we get back to the business at hand?” \n\nMorty shrugged and gestured to Fry and the two of them sloped into the house through the garage. A moment later the sounds of a computer game being fired up could be faintly heard, as Fry began to question what 20th Century sodas they had in the house.\n\n“Alright.” Rick tapped the envelope against his arm. “So what’s the deal, the Professor and his trained Octopus…” \n\nRearing up, unseen from behind them, Dr Zoidberg trilled in delight. “That’s me, I’m part of the conversation!” \n\nRick glanced at him then back to the Professor. “…trained disgusting octopus…” \n\n“Awwww.” Dr Zoidberg sat down on the pavement sadly. \n\nRick raised his voice. “*promised me* a safe and quick delivery anywhere on earth in less than 15 minutes for under 2 bucks. Are you saying I was scammed somehow?” \n\nThe Professor turned his head away, but Leela stepped forward sighing. “*Technically* no. We can deliver your letter, but we’re also from the future, the world of 2017 and by doing this we risk changing your timeline and destroying your world. We travelled back in time, ripping apart the...” \n\n“But, the delivery charge is the same right?” Rick looked a little reassured. \n\nLeela blinked, an impressive sight. “Yes, but…” \n\n“Whatever then.” Rick tossed the letter at the Professor and turned back to the house. “I got better things to do.” \n\nThe Professor scampered away happily into the ship and Leela was left alone, sighing, by herself. “Fine. Now where did that letter…” She looked down to see the last scrap disappear into Zoidberg’s mouth. For a moment she thought of protesting, but she really just didn't care. “Whatever, at least we won’t damage the past any more than we have. Come on, let’s go.” \n\nIn moments the ship lifted off and soon the small suburban street returned to normality. The only sound to break the silence was Fry's whooping, as he discovered they had Shasta to drink. \n"
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[WP] Out of all the sentient species in the galaxy, humanity is unique in our willingness to give our lives to save others.
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"Translated from the original 'Klectlian transcripts\n\nWe've figured it out - why they've successfully settled on so many worlds, travelled so far, learned so much in such a short time, why they are unstoppable, why their civilization will spread across the universe.\n\nWhat is it? Explain!\n\nThe vast majority of them are motivated by something larger then themselves. Each one of them risks everything, everyday for... others. \n\nThey love each other and strive towards making the lives of their family, friends, communities, government, planet, and now galaxy spanning civilization - better, sometime in tiny ways, but cumulatively it adds up. \n\nThat's why they are so successful and that's why we are so fortunate, so blessed that they have embraced and accepted us as well. "
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[WP] You are a trucker who survived a plummet off a forgotten road. The snow is coming down hard, and night is falling, and all you have is a torn up trailer full of torn up boxes of Legos.
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"''You had enough Hank.''\n\nSaid the bartender to an elderly man sitting slouched at the bar.\n\nI could see that he was there for a while, his head was lying flat on the table right across the bartender who was cleaning up after a long night of work. His empty eyes were staring at me when i glanced at him, finishing up my gin and tonic before going home myself.\n\nThe man moved his hand over the polished wooden bar carelessly, swiping with it to show his thumb to the bartender.\n\n\"One more Angus, one more!''\n\nHe said with a smile.\n\n\"I'm sorry Hank, but you had enough.''\n\nAnswered the bartender gently, like he heard that plea many times before.\n\n\"You had enough for tonight, and your tab is already full as it is, you need to get home, i'm closing up shop''\n\nThe bartender turned away from the old man and faced the shelves behind him, while adjusting some bottles.\n\nStill grinning, face red and puffy, he turned to me again.\n\n''This young lady will vouch for me, will you dear?''\n\n''No she will not Hank''\n\nSaid the barman with a flat voice.\n\n''Go home.''\n''Excuse him miss, he had a few tonight''\n\nHe said as he turned to us again, a glass and a clean cloth spinning in his hands.\n\n\"If you do vouch for me...''\n\nHe smirked while smiling,\n\n''...And get me a double bourbon, i'll tell you a story like you never heard in your life. I promise you that.''\n\nIn that moment, i was intrigued. There was something in his eyes that caught my interest. He reminded me of my dad. A naive glare, that i had a weakness for. I gave a nod to the skinny bartender to pour him one on me.\n\nHe was fast, and filled a glass for the wrinkled old man in a heartbeat.\n\n\"Last one Hank''\n\nHe said sharply, giving me \"the look''.\n\n''Alright missy, i'll tell you story of how i survived three days and nights in the freezing Rockies with nothing but a crate of legos.''\n\nI almost spat my drink and busted out laughing.\n\n''Legos?'' I said with a smile.\n\n''Like in lego cubes?''\n\n\"Yup, those little peckers saved my life so many times in those three days i stopped counting.\n\nHe raised his glass.\n\n''To Legos!'' \n\nBefore downing it and banging it on the bar with a demonstrative move.\n\nHe turned towards me and started.\n\n''It was getting pitch dark, so i had to think quick.''\n\n''You see missy...''\n\nHe started in a more serious tone\n\n\n''My truck went over the road after my brakes failed, and there i was, alone in the wild with no one in sight for miles, no signal, and no help. With a blizzard on the way. Only a truck full of those cubes''\n\nHe leaned to me\n\n''And what was the first thing i did?''\n\nHe said, while i was stuck in mid motion with my drink, still in awe of how awesomely ridiculous this story must be.\n\n''That's right, i made a blanket!''\n\nHe said blissfully.\n\n''You know, to keep me warm through the night!''\n\n\"Then i said, what the heck, and made a pillow and a mattress.''\n\n''I know, brilliant right?''\n\n''I have to admit i never would have come up with that''\n\nI said delightfully.\n\n''That's pure genius!''\n\nHe was in awe of how well i took it, so he continued.\n\n\"In the morning i made some breakfast on a stove i made which also burned legos, with a lego shovel!\"\n\n''Then i made us hiking boots and skiing poles, so we can look around''\n\n''We?\" i asked.\n\nBut he was talking slowly now, like in a slumber. More and more incoherently as he started to yawn.\n\n''Yeah,yeah, we walked and walked and walked and it was cold, but i , made us lego hats, and coats! We were safe i told them...\"\n\nHe laid his arm on the bar, and his head over it comfortably.\n\nA second later he was a blissfully asleep.\"\n\nI smiled, such a lovely man i thought, as i was picking up my stuff and paying the bill...\n\nHe was snoring already. \n\nThe bartender, came out of the bar and started walking me out.\n\n''You go miss, ill get him home safe, don't worry.\n\nHank has his problems, but he is a good man, i hope he didn't bother you too much.''\n\n''He didn't'' i said honestly, ''I enjoyed the story, i'm just sorry i didn't get to hear the ending, how he got himself out with only Legos''\n\n\nI smiled again, still charmed by how naive the story was.\n\nThe barman exhaled loudly shrugging as we approached the doors.\n\n\"Miss, i'm sorry ii have to tell you this, but Hank had an accident a dozen or so years back...''\n\n''He and his three sons went out of the road near Cripple Creek during a blizzard.''\n\n''When they finally found them after three days, he was holding them in his arms, staring in the box of legos that belonged to the youngest one...''\n\n''He was never the same after that, so please don't be offended if he said anything...''\n\nHe left me outside of the door and gave me a farewell wave,\n\n\"Drive safely\" He said, before returning inside and closing the door.\n\nIt was raining."
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[WP] You've registered yourself for an international deathmatch. Your weapon? Kindness.
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"\"Honestly I have no idea how in hell you're doing it, but you're doing it.\"\n\nAndra, my handler, couldn't help but stare at me in disbelief every time I came off the stage unscathed. \"This puts whole new meaning to the phrase 'kill them with kindness,'\" she said, shaking her head.\n\nI just grinned at her, downing my mana-infused water. \"You don't get to become the most powerful Kindness-type in history without being able to turn that phrase literal,\" I smirked. \"It's been worth the effort, just to see their confidence drop to zero as I kill them with a Kindness spell.\"\n\nThe next fight was about to start, and I wanted to watch. Andra just shook her head at me some more as I sat down. \"You make no god damn sense, you know that?\" She sat back hard, focusing on the fighters on the stage. Xarian and Tranzalgas, a Sadness-type and Anger-type, respectively. \"A Kindness-type is objectively *the* weakest class in existence, without so much as basic offensive spell, and you've gone and turned it into a weapon of mass destruction. How?\"\n\n\"Practice, mostly,\" I responded. The announcer signalled the start of the fight in the background. \"The trick is to not be a total psychopath. You've gotta remain sincere in your kindness for humanity, and yet want to eradicate it at the same time. It's a total balancing act.\"\n\nAndra shivered. \"You sound like a supervillian.\"\n\nOn the stage, the red light of Anger magic and the purple light of Sadness magic clashed. Anger-type was, without a doubt, one of the most powerful classes of magic, second only to its counterpart, Hate. Anger's only limit was the natural limit in how angry a person can get, whereas hate has no such limit. A person can hate infinitely and forever. Anger and Hate were aggressive types of magic, and, naturally, are used mostly for offensive firepower.\n\nSadness, on the other hand, was great for defense. You won't find a great Sadness-type who wasn't completely and hopelessly depressed, but their magic capability is awe-inspiring. Capable of swallowing up other types of magic, including high-level destruction spells from Anger and Hate, it's the best defense class, if you didn't mind hating your own existence. It was especially potent against Happiness-types and Kindess-types, like my own, since they're weak medical and spiritual classes. Sadness ate away, Happiness and Kindness repaired and built people up.\n\nUnfortunately for Tranzalgas, nobody had ever heard of him. Being a weak Sadness-type, he went down hard in a flash of red light, missing most of his abdomen and part of his face. \"Winner by death! Xarian Graw!\" The announcer seemed unperturbed by the ridiculous amount of blood leaking out of what used to be Tranzalgas. I sighed in relief. I wouldn't have to face a Sadness-type in the finals. I can manage an Anger-type.\n\nAfter a brief break to clean up the puddle of blood and vacuum up bits of Tranzalgas, the tournament continued. \"Darian Kai, please make your way up to the stage!\" That was me. I stood up and grinned at Andra, shooting her with a finger gun.\n\nShe shook her head. It seemed to be a habit around me. \"Go get 'em, you massive idiot,\" she grumbled, tossing me my water bottle. \"Kill them with kindness.\"\n\nI winked. \"You got it.\" I turned and made my way up to the stage where Xarian was waiting, feeling the magic surge through me.\n\nAs I climbed on stage, Xarian pointed at me. \"I don't care how powerful your Kindess magic is, it won't save you,\" he called. He was a big guy, bald and ripped, with red markings swirling all over his body like a human kaleidoscope. \"You die here.\"\n\nI gave him a friendly smile. \"I don't want to hurt you,\" I said calmly, flexing my hands, allowing my magic to flow through my body. \"In fact, I think you're pretty cool.\"\n\n\"That so?\"\n\nI nodded. \"'Course, be it as it is, if you decide to fight me with everything you have, I'll kill you...\" I grinned up at him, power rippling through my muscles and across my skin. I glowed bright white. \"...*with kindness.*\"\n\n***\n\nCheck out the continuation over at r/VernCarson!\n\nhttps://www.reddit.com/r/VernCarson/comments/743ty9/wp_response_kill_them_with_kindness/\n\n^(Hey, this was pretty fun! Thanks for an amusing prompt! I enjoyed writing this one quite a bit.)\n\n^(I'm quite open to feedback and criticism! Help me improve!)"
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[WP] It happened slowly at first, a twitch here a walking shadow there.
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"It happened slowly at first. So slow that I barely even recognized it. I wish that I hadn't brushed it off so easily. But such is the human mind, it tries to find the simplest logical explanation for everything. It is only when we are backed against the wall that we finally acknowledged the truth. And by then it's too late.\n\nIt's hard to pinpoint exactly when I first saw him. It was always in the corner of my eyes. But my first distinct memory was one night before bed. I was in the bathroom, and leaned down to wash my face, and as I stood up I saw the silhouette of a person walk past the door. It happened so fast, he was there and then he was not, that my mind barely had time to process it. And I just brushed it off. \"Just my tired mind playing tricks on me\", I thought to myself and went to bed.\n\nAfter that it happened more frequently, but it was so discreet and easily discarded. I thought I heard someone whisper my name. Things, that I was pretty damn sure I knew where I'd put them, were found somewhere else.\n\nBut with time it grew more intense. At night I heard the sound of someone, or *something*, gently knocking against the wall. The clear shape of a large man standing behind my kitchen curtain just as I walked by. Steam on my bathroom mirrors, like someone had just breathed on them. And those things weren't so easy to write off as my imagination. But I did my best.\n\nAnd then it just happened. I saw it, I mean truly saw it, for the first time. I awoke violently from something, I'm not sure what. I sat up, and there it was, standing in my doorway. It was tall and slender, with tiny glowing red eyes. But what scared me the most was its color. It was so dark. Have you ever heard of Vantablack? Google it. It an artificial substance so black that light doesn't even reflect off of it. That's exactly what it looked like. You think your room is dark at night, but mine seemed bright as daylight compared to this thing. It just stood there, looking at me. And I knew, at last - my mind is not doing this.",
"My last seizure was a year before. I hadn't felt a thing since starting the new medication. A year. Suddenly my arm twitched. It was nothing, just a tremor. Nothing. Nothing. It stopped. Have to call the doctor tomorrow. I'll get home, eat something and go to bed, then call Doctor Sampson. He can check me out and see if there's anything to be worried about.\n\nUnlocking my door it happens again. Shit. No. Come on. The keys drop. What was that? Out of the corner of my eye. I saw something in the twilight gloom of early November, a shadow. Just a shadow. Not again. Can't be happening. Not again.\n\nI find the keys and unlock the door. I get inside and stumble. Ow. That hurt. My knee whacked the coffee table. How did that get there. Who moved it in front of the door? \n\nI look around. I'm across the room. I just walked through the door. The table was 10 feet away. Okay. That's weird. It happened again. My arm flashes up. And grows two feet. My back hunches. I grab the bottle from the upper cabinet of the bathroom. It was another 20 feet from I was last. No. It can't be like this. I swallow one of the little pink tablets. It's chalky and soft, but it goes down.\n\nI'm on the bathroom floor. The tiles feel cool and smooth. It's passing. I can feel the arms going back to normal. My back is straighter. It's better now. I can slee... \n\nI wake up the next morning. My face is pressed against the floor. I can feel the small tiles making an impression on my face. It's almost comforting. I reach in my pocket and pull out the cell phone, pressing number 1 until it starts ringing. \n\n\"Doctor Sampson Office. What you be needin',\" the soft Caribbean accent comes on the line. \n\"I need to speak to the Doctor. This is Josh... Josiah Friendly. It's happening again. It can't happen again. Please. Tell the doctor I need to see him....\" \n\nShe responds in a voice that is at once ethereal and commanding, \"Calm down, it gonna be okay. We gonna get you fixed up. You come on in and we'll see you right as rain. Bring da bag and handful o' silver. You know da' drill, Mr. Josiah.\" \n\n\"Okay, thank you.\" I hang up and scrabble around, under the bed, and on top of the dresser looking for the bag. I knock over the desk calendar. Without thinking I pick it up and look at the date. A little full moon symbol in the corner. Where is the bag. Ahah. There it is. I snatch it and run out the door. \n\nI catch the train uptown. Getting off at 2nd and Port Prince, I get my bearings. I look around and there it is. Doc Samson's Herb Emporium and Gift Shop. I walk in and the little door tinkles above my head. I can see her behind the counter, through the smoky gloom of incense and burning candles. The little skulls grinning at me, from their perches. The bric-a-brac of a voodoo priest's trade all around me.\n\n\"Carlita. Hello. I need to see the doctor.\" \n\nShe smiles, that tight lipped grin of hers that tells me she's not amused. \"Yes, ya said. Did ya bring da tings he gone need?\" \n\nI wave my hand with the back and pull the silver pellets out of my pocket, in a hurry. My ring catches on the inside of my pocket, spilling them everywhere. The clatter as they hit the ground.\n\n\"Oh now see what you done did, now? Dat's a mess imma have ta clean up.\" \n\nI look at my hand. The brown fur, with black spots, cover it, coarse and rough. The claws are three inches long, poking out the end of my fingers, black as obsidian. I growl at her. \n\n\"Oh, no you don't. Not in my shop. You come back when yor presentable,\" she waves her hand in the air, and suddenly I'm in the forest. I know this wood. It's 3000 miles from where I was a few minutes ago. \n\nI stand up and up and up. Once again. I'm 8 and a half feet tall, covered in coarse brown hair. My teeth are protruding over my large chapped, simian lips. I can hear the insects from miles away. The birds screeching. The salty tang of the Pacific Ocean assaults my nose. \n\nI just wanted a normal life. Now it's back to the woods, running. Always running. Teleporting hither and yon. Never resting. The legends will start back up. The hunters will be back. I look down at my feet. And I start laughing. The smallest part of me. A human's size 14. I suppose they are kind of big...."
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I can only assume this has been posted here before. But it's a new thought to me. Please bear with me if I'm late to the party.
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[WP] In the near future, neurologists discover that dreams are a form of telepathy, and that the people we encounter therein are other dreamers communicating with us. After having a dream of special significance, you set out to find your "dream-mate" in the waking world.
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"I was alone now.\n\nThe priests had long left the manor,finishing their sermons and carrying the coffin down into the catacombs.\n\nI walked along the black mahogany corridor with a candle,ignoring the line of pictures that cast their gloomy shadow against the walls.\n\nThe long line of our venerable house had slowly withered away for the last few decades,falling to plague or unexplained events that further tarnished the family name.\n\nWe were the last two on this earth,and now I was the only one left.\n\nI cast my cane aside as I entered my room,as the shadows frantically danced with the light from the fireplace.\n\nI pulled out the very last souvenir of the debauchery of my youth,to ease sorrow laden heart.\n\nAs I drank the spirit deep it filled me with memories of my younger years,the days of my studies at Miscatonic,and the nights of secret debauchery that burnt a unquenchable thirst and haughtiness on my young,impressionable soul.\n\nFilled with memories and vigor of youth,I soon began to talk to myself,which then escalated into rants of incoherent babbling filled with rage and spite.\n\nI soon reached a peak,standing up from my seat,and cursed whatever gods that caused this injustice,and in a fit of bravado and drunken foolishness called for a half forgotten dialect I heard so long ago.\n\nThat moment,fires sputtered out along with my inflated ego,and I was once again reminded of my solitude.\n\nThe wind tore at the manor like the howls of a banshee,shrill and cold.\n\nThe manor stood above the cliff,a solemn sentinel warding against the merciless riptides that claimed the life of men,attracted to the siren song.\n\nAs I lied on the bed,listening to the wind’s I noticed a sound never heard before.\n\nA ethereal tune gently gained volume,defying the raging winds that threatened to drown its declaration.\n\nAs i lied in bed feeling a odd kinship to it,the song intensified,suddenly gaining vertigo like a legendary beast writhing in its shackles.\n\nI do not remember the exact moment when I noticed I was no longer in my bed,but i can only guess that the winds had stopped at the same moment my consciousness drifted off.\n\nTo be continued!",
"I saw him this time. His dark features illuminated by the bright city lights. I would have preferred starlight, but maybe this was a sign about where we are to meet. I think about the danger of travelling cross-country to encounter a perfect stranger; then I realize he knows me better than anyone else possibly could. I start by packing my bags. I know I am going to have to dream to have any chance of finding him, so I throw in my melatonin and sleepytime tea for good measure. As I board the train to get out of my podunk hometown, I rack my brain trying to think of details of the city in my dream. Unfortunately, all I can picture are his chocolate curls bouncing with the cadence of his steps. Why must he be so distrsctingly beautiful?\n\n\"Can I get a cup of hot water, please?\" I ask the handsome, if melancholy, steward. As I fall into perfect sleep for dreaming, I remember trying to connect with him outside the dream- trying to break the barrier between reality and our dream world.\n\nThe screech of the train stopping wakes me with a start. \"Okay, now is the time to remember if you're going to be able to at all,\" I tell myself aloud as I gather my belongings.\n\nI stopped in my tracks as I realized it is going to take a lot more than a train ride to get to him. \"Where is the closest airport?\" I ask the seemingly-preoccupied steward.\n\n\"I thought that was what you were doing,\" he replied, with no further explanation. He went on to answer my question by letting me know if I stay on the train just one more stop there is an airport about 15 miles out of town.\n\n\"Have you searched, too?\" I ask, half hoping the answer is no based on his demeanor.\n\n\"I have. That's why I took this job. I thought, maybe she will be looking for me, too, but I've been on this train for 5 years and nothing. Sometimes she's not even in my dreams anymore.\" His voice broke on the last sentence, and my heart broke for him. \n\nIt was a quiet ride after we talked as I considered my next move. Was I really about to fly to a country I've never been to just to hope I see him? I have to at least try, I tell myself as I take one last look at the beautiful broken man standing at the doorway. \n\nGetting a last-minute ticket from Dallas to Dubai is not easy. I didn't dare tell anyone my true intentions for fear of jinxing myself, which made it all the more suspicious to the airport security guards \"randomly\" interviewing me. After several hours they decide I'm not a threat to national security and allow me to board my plane. As the plane takes off, I take the melatonin I brought in hopes of sleeping the entire 14 hour flight. I awake at what seems to be dawn as the golden sun starts to illuminate the far-off clouds to the east. Guessing that it is around 6 a.m. Dallas time, that would mean I have just about 2 hours left before we land. I saw him a lot in the last dream, perhaps because I'm getting closer to him or perhaps because I was asleep so long; either way it was lovely. I saw where he was, or will be, hopefully. \n\nNervous excitement starts creeping up as I depart the plane. I make my way through the crowd, abandoning my suitcase in hopes to catch him. \n\nThere it is- the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building known to man. He was standing on the highest floor in the dream. I walk into the dazzling lobby and realize for the first time how very far away from home I am. I choose an elevator based on gut feeling as I can't read any of the signs and wouldn't know where I wanted to be even if I could. I push the button for the 148th floor and I can feel my heartbeat pounding in my chest. Whether it is excitement or fear of heights I may never know. The elevator dings and I step out. Almost immediately I see him leaning against the glass as if he was mocking gravity. \n\nIt occurs to me I don't know his name, so I walk over, as close to the edge as I can get without paralyzing myself with fear and reach out to touch his shoulder. He turns and looks at me with the most stunning blue eyes and touches my face. He knows who I am! He knows why I'm here! \n\nHe pulls me into a deep, passionate kiss, and for a moment I forget about my fear of being so close to the edge.",
"“When you both are ready, you will find each other.”\n\nMy mother’s words rang in my ears as I threw away my covers and swung my legs over the side of the bed, my toes scraping the chilled hardwood floor. My chest heaved, lungs sucking in and pushing out the cool air of my bedroom like a blacksmith’s bellows. A minute passed just like that.\n\nThe dream had been so different from the other, so much more. My hands trembled, and I clenched the sheets atop my mattress to make them stop. Had it finally happened? Was this it?\n\nThe dream ran through my head over and over as I pulled on my jeans and the cleanest white shirt I could find. Just moments ago, I’d been side by side with the prettiest girl in Westhaven, our shirts torn and bloody as we blasted back wave after wave of snarling, infected undead. Did it mean the apocalypse was coming? There was always heavy significance to dreams, I knew that. Both Gram and my mother had drilled that into me.\n\nThat thought scared the hell out of me, but the one that followed it brought a sense of relief, however ridiculous. If the dream was accurate, I’d be blasting away my former coworkers and community members alongside Jessie Green, the lifeguard at Hills County pool. There had been a quick kiss before the last assault, not a long one but one good enough to send butterflies tumbling through my stomach at the memory, dream or not.\n\nThe sun was poking through my half-turned blinds and illuminating my Mortal Kombat poster, and not just a little. A quick glance at my clock revealed that it was already ten o’clock. I had spent too much time on Streets of Rage last night, having gone back to it after giving up on Earthworm Jim. I thought it was best that I get some practice in before Jimmy came back over and we tried another run on Mr. X.\n\nMy phone rang. Crap, could it be Jessie? No, that’s dumb. She doesn’t have my number, and I doubt she even knows my name, despite the dream.\n\nI picked it up, nearly dropping the base off my dresser where it forever sat in a precarious fashion. Jimmy’s voice greeted me from the other end.\n\n“You up?”\n\n“Well, I don’t think I’d answer if I wasn’t.” I yawned, straightening my pants. They were getting a little high, but it was summer. Maybe I’d just turn them into jean shorts.\n\n“Dude, come on, there’s some new games at the mall arcade. We gotta go before it gets crazy in there!” Jimmy’s voice took on a pleading whine, as if he really needed to beg. I was ready. I’d mowed enough lawns to cash in for a whole sack of quarters.\n\n“Wait, I gotta take care of something first. We have to swing by the pool.”\n\n“The pool doesn’t open until twelve. We could be knee deep in zombie bodies by then!”\n\nI choked. “What?”\n\n“The newest game, man. House of the Dead! I saw an ad in Spider-Man. I'm so excited I had a dream about it! It looks amazing. And you should see the girl you are trying to rescue. She looks just like Jessie Green!”\n\nDamn it. \n\nStupid dreams.\n\n[/r/intotheslushpile](https://www.reddit.com/r/intotheslushpile/) "
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[WP] You summon Cuthulu to bring to a family reunion so your family stops bugging you for being single.
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"\"Tony, don't you think it's time you found a girlfriend? You can't stay like this forever...\"\n\n\"I know that, mother. I'm trying.\" The college student replied restlessly to the advice that had become all too commonplace the past year.\n\nHis father overheard and in poor taste, increased the hassle by also chiming in.\n\nAs such, Tony was left to listen to his parents' nagging while knowing for a fact that they would disapprove of the girl he was actually seeing in secret.\n\nHe swallowed his pride and managed to feign interest, though his discontentment continued to bubble beneath the surface until it manifested in a most terrifying way.\n\nHe suspected that the creature was the very representation of his darkest dreams and as it's grotesque form writhed around to the terror of his family, he smirked in pleasant satisfaction."
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[WP] A story where the villain's motive is they just want a sandwich.
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"I double checked my phone. The GPS said I was in the right place. Then I checked the street sign. Correct streets. \n\nI was in the right place, but the food truck wasn’t here. Damn.\n\nI adjusted my tie in annoyance. This was unprofessional and it irked me.\n\nJaune’s didn’t roll into south town very often and I kept track of a dozen various merchants that meandered through the city. Jaune’s was one of them.\n\n‘Jaune’s Delux Harem’ was a sandwich I doubted I will ever forget. The cravings didn’t hit often, but when they did…\n\nAh. The tender meats, the crisp greens and savoury secret sauce.\n\nI coughed. I adjusted my tie again as I was forced to ingest the mouthful of drool I had released. Ma would have words if any had escaped.\n\nMy phone beeped and I quickly checked. \n\nJaune’s had updated. Three streets down.\n\nI immediately turned and made my way over. I cleared my throat as pocketed my phone.\n\nThe day was warm. The tail end of summer was still warm as the leaves were quickly fading. Fall would be here any minute.\n\nMy eyes scanned over the canopy of trees as I entered the park. The change from the city to nature was rather soothing to my frayed nerves. I was hungry and irritable. Hangry was a weakness of mine.\n\nI quickly spotted it. The yellow truck with purple accents was easy to spot.\n\nWithout further ado, I queued up.\n\nThe line wasn’t the fastest, and I nodded to myself as I slowly made my way up. I passed the time by checking my phone. There was already half a dozen ‘important’ emails and I scanned through them.\n\nNone of them required my immediate attention. I frowned. I hated selfishly worded requests like these. Ma had taught me many things. Respect was at the tope of that list.\n\nI looked up and there was only one person a head of me. I put away my phone so that I could politely order when it was my turn. I showed respect to the owner for not wasting his time. Ma would have been proud.\n\n“Hello…”\n\nI looked up and smiled. The server on the other hand trailed off as she recognized me. Not that it was hard. I wore a suit of royal purple, had slicked back hair and an air of confidence that I had chiselled from my lacklustre youth.\n\n“I would love a Deluxe Harem and a choco-love shake, please,” I asked with a smile. My brown eyes met hers and she nodded. I ignored the way her body tense as she rang in my order. It was normal. Once you are known for butchering men, you get treated differently.\n\n“Freeze!”\n\nI blinked as I dropped a large bill on the counter. Enough for the food and a generous tip. I frowned as I turned around.\n\nHalf a dozen officers and three bicycle patrolmen greeted me. All of them had guns trained on me. My frown deepened.\n\n“I beg your pardon?” I said as I adjusted my tie.\n\n“Freeze! Hands up in the air!” the lead officer demanded as I looked up to the scared lady. She had my change in her hands and they were shaking.\n\nI caught her eyes and waved my hand to the tip jar. She gave me a nod and dumped the change into the glass container. The clinks of coin on coin was unusually loud.\n\n“On what charges, officer?” I asked as I took my choco-shake. The thick, rich milkshake had me pause. The world slowed as the intensity of a herd of horses tramped across my tastebuds. The deep flavour of chocolate was left in their wake as it traveled down my throat.\n\n“For public unrest, theft, and trafficking in illegal goods,” the officer repeated woodenly. He probably had it memorized from something.\n\n“Very well. Your warrant, please?” I asked as I received my sandwhich. It was thick, hot and smelled of heaven. From the scent alone, I could tell that today was going to become incredible. Even with these idiots before me.\n\n“The warrant is on its way,” the officer replied as he watched me peel back the wrapper.\n\n“Then you know where to find me. My address is up to date and you can always call my lawyer,” I replied flippantly as I took a bite.\n\nThe wold stopped as my mind went into overdrive. The tender beef and pork mix was savory. The salt and spices delectable. The crunch echoed in my mind as I pierced the crisp exterior as the fluffy bread dissolved.\n\nI moaned with my first bite. My knees shook as they suddenly lost strength.\n\nThis.\n\nThis was a sandwich.\n\nI washed down the bite with some of my shake as I began to walk back.\n\nThe officer still had his gun trained on me. I stared him in the eyes. I knew it was intense as he blinked and looked away. They had nothing on me. I was too clean to get tripped up over something so trivial.\n\nI brushed by the officer and ignored him. He lowered his gun in defeat as there was nothing he could do. I was causing no issues and none of those flimsy circumstantial charges would ever hold.\n\nMy sandwich was my world and that was all that mattered.\n\nThe following bites sent me up and into the skies.\n\nThe world, and its problems, vanished as I made my way back home.\n\n\nAuthor’s corner:\n\nThis submission isn’t perfect, as it is just further adventures of my nameless Purple Axe Gang leader. I do like him and I am trying to carve out his flair and weakness for food.\n\nI will make him epic one day.\n\nThanks for reading!\n\nSomething, something [sub]( https://www.reddit.com/r/SilverLuckyScriptures/).\n",
"The second I stepped into the store the entire place started screaming. \n\n*God fucking damn it.* \n\nI didn't have my villain costume on, how the fuck did they know it was me. I saw one of them pointing at me with their mouth slowly opening into a scream, looking down I saw that I still had my goggles resting around my neck. \n\n*Shit. Of course, I forgot about the incredibly recognizable goggles just sitting around my neck.*\n\nI raised my hands in placation, unfortunately, it had the opposite effect. The second my hands were raised, fingers splayed the entire room burst into one unified scream and then began booking it for every and any exit. I watched as multiple people leapt through windows and crashed through the door just in an effort to get out as fast as possible.\n\n\"Please,\" I said my voice clearly tired. \"Refrain from running, I don't want to hurt anyone. I just,\" I sighed deeply, \"I just want a sandwich.\"\n\nEvery single person who was still in the room looked at me with shocked and confused looks on their faces. They clearly didn't believe me when I said I wanted a sandwich, maybe if I ordered one it'd show them. I stepped towards the counter and the girl behind the register stepped back in fear. A sigh escaped my lips before I could stop it.\n\n\"I'd like a No 4. Please.\" I said politely and with a level voice. She looked at me for a second with intense fear clouding her eyes. For a brief second, I thought she was going to turn and run then she calmly stood and began pressing buttons on the register. She looked up at me shortly afterwards.\n\n\"That'll be $6.99, is that all?\" Her voice quivered slightly but otherwise, she was calm.\n\n\"That's it, thank you.\" I said and carefully reached into my pocket for my wallet as I pulled out the $10 bill and went to hand it to her I heard sirens outside the store. Turning around slowly I saw five patrol cars outside, the cops standing behind their vehicles with their guns raised. \n\n\"Villain, surrender or we will fire!\" One of the policemen shouted instead of using the speaker in his patrol car. I handed the $10 bill to the cashier and turned to face them.\n\n\"Make the sandwich, please.\" I told the cashier under my breath. Raising my voice I spoke to the officers. \"Calm down. I'm not going to hurt anyone, I just want a sandwich.\" I don't think they believed me because less than a second later one of the cops discharged his weapon towards me. The bullet impacted my chest and collided with the ground with a dull thunk. I shook my head sadly.\n\n\"That won't work, it's never worked why even try,\" I said calmly looking at the officer that fired his gun. Behind me, the cashier spoke up.\n\n\"Order up. No 4.\" She said her voice shaking audibly.\n\nI half-turned and looked her squarely in the eyes. \"Thanks, hun,\" I said and grabbed my sandwich from her. \"Sorry about all the ruckus. I'll be going now.\" I placed a $100 bill on the counter, looking at it pointedly then at her. She got my meaning and snatched the money up before anyone else saw it. \n\nWith my sandwich in hand, I grabbed my goggles and put them on. The world went from reality to digital in an instant. I sighed a little bit, this time in pleasure as I stepped out of the shop and took a bite of my sandwich. As I lowered my sandwich to see how the police were doing they began firing. The first couple of rounds fired hit of all things, my sandwich. In an instant, it was obliterated, turned into nothing but crumbs. Anger flared up in me as I watched what was left of the lettuce in my sandwich float to the pavement. \n\n*God. Fucking. DAMNIT!\"*\n\nBefore I could realise what I was doing, twin pistols were in my hands and bullets were flying. Less than a minute later all of the cops present were dead and any of the civilians still around were screaming and running. I dropped my guns, they dissolved before touching the ground. I turned around and looked back into the store, the cashier was standing there, scared shitless and hugging a sandwich to her chest. As I watched her she extended her arms and offered the sandwich to me. A huge smile burst onto my face and I stepped back into the ruined store, grabbed the sandwich from her and dropped another $100 bill into her hand.\n\n\"Thanks, hun.\" I said, turned and walked out. Sandwich in hand I carefully protected it this time. As I began the walk home sirens dogged me the entire way back. It didn't take them long before they found me and surrounded me. But at least, I got to eat my sandwich.\n\n---\n\nhttps://www.reddit.com/r/Ceruberus/",
"\"Slow down,\" I bellowed after the Jimmy John's delivery boy.\n\n\"You know I can't,\" he screamed back. \"None of us can.\" Despite destroying his bike with my disintegrator ray, I hadn't stopped him from pursuing his delivery.\n\n\"I command you to stop in the name of Chuck,\" I said, doubling down.\n\n\"Look, Chuck,\" he said. \"I know you want a sandwich, but I can't give you this one. If I don't make this delivery, then I won't be able to afford my tuition payments.\"\n\n\"You won't be able to pay off your student loans anyway,\" I said, aiming a shot at the sidewalk in front of him. He jumped over the hole like a gazelle. \n\nThe sandwich courier was relentless. Chuck considered taking a shot. It was too dangerous; he might hit the sandwich.\n\n\"Fine,\" I reasoned. \"I will give you $500 dollars.\" The delivery boy paused.\n\n\"I won't do it for less than $1,000. Venmo it to me right now,\" he said, still running.\n\n\"$500 was more than generous!\" I scoffed. This kid was an entrepreneur. \n\n\"We're almost at the delivery address,\" he called back. Leverage is a fickle bitch. I pressed buttons on my phone.\n\n\"Fine, it's there. It's in your account.\" He finally stopped running.\n\n\"Here you go. Thanks for choosing Jimmy Johns,\" he said happily. My eyes rolled so far back they circumnavigated my brain—but at long last, I had it.\n\nAt least, I *had* had it before Captain Perfect decked me in the face. Just before I took my first bite, his fist flew in out of nowhere. He was the *spontaneous combustion* of lunchtime bullies.\n\nNo matter how hard I try, it feels like I'll never get to taste a Hero Sandwich.\n\nI pulled a Villain Energy Bar from my pocket.\n\nIt was horrible."
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[WP] "Grandpa, tell us another story about the Internet!"
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"Bedtime is usually a struggle for an energetic 6 year old girl and 4 year old boy, but this poppa knows the best way to help them slow down is a boring bedtime story. \"Let's hear another one about what you did during the Third World War,\" yelled little Johnny. \"No, a fairy tale. About a princess,\" screamed Zoe. They knew I was good at making up stories from the top of my head. If the plot was not to their liking I could change it quickly. \"Didn't you like the one I told you last week about the World Wide Web?\" Johnny was very excited. \"Yeah, grandpa. Lets have another one about Games on line\" Zoe also looked interested. \"Yes, and one about social media\".\nI smiled. History was my favourite subject. \"Okay, snuggle up and I'll tell you about why the governments of the world banned the Internet after the third great war.\" Zoe frown. \"Not another war story, poppa. I want to hear about how people could swap pictures and say hi to each other on their hand phones\". I patted her on the head. \"Be patient, sweetheart, I'll get to that. But first I need to tell you why the Internet disappeared.\"\nIt's difficult trying to explain to two kids who grew up without iPhones, iPads, laptops, desk tops or anything that was part of the internet era and was so much a part of my early life. It was something that became popular in the 80's and then spread like wildfire throughout the first three decades of the 21st century until it became a very integral part of human culture, particularly in the developed countries. Almost everything and everyone became linked to or dependant on the Internet. However, the easy access to information, knowledge and current events meant that governments and authorities could no longer control the dissemination of information which was central to power. In the end, the Internet started the war they had been avoiding since 1945. Afterwards the governments still surviving agreed to ban the Internet for public use and only for government. The Pandora's box had to be contained. Today, we know we can trust the news and information provided and we are free from fake news, mass hysteria and disinformation. We can still telephone friends or write them a letter because high speed drones now do all deliveries. Life has improved and things have slowed down to a manageable pace. So how did WWIII start? It was very simple. Someone with high security clearance in NORAD decided to retaliate against the US government for being passed over for promotion. He hacked into the nuclear control centre and simulated an imminent nuclear attack from China and Russia. The hacker did it from a remote laptop in Cuba. With only 3 hours or less to respond, the US President and his Chief of Staff had no time to call the Russian or the Chinese presidents or to cross check what their computers were falsely telling them. So the Americans fired first and forced the Russians and Chinese to respond with everything that they had. By the time the truth was revealed the world was irretrievably committed to hostilities. The Internet was blamed because mankind had lost control of the way everything and everyone was linked. These days the Internet is restricted to government usage as an intranet system. Anyone trying to revive the Internet will be hunted down by the international security agency with its HQ in China and treated as a dangerous criminal to be eliminated."
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[WP] Drunk man arrested in Wyoming claims he time traveled to warn of aliens
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"When I got back to the station, the guy got antsy, saying more stuff about the spaceships and the lasers or whatever. It was just me and Collver doing graveyard, so he gave me a hand talking the guy down and getting him into the drunk tank for some sleep. He didn't sleep, but at least he was contained. Collver went out for a smoke and I followed to get away from buddy's hollering. \n\nCollver went out the front door so we'd see anyone who might come, as if that would ever happen this time of night, and then we walked over to the west side and stepped around the corner to get out of the beam of the fluorescent lights. The lot beside the station wasn't built up then, and looked about as it had the ten years I'd been on a cop, so there wasn't much need for a light on the west side of the building. Back then, we were basically the last building on the north end of town. As the light faded from my eyes I could see the crescent moon pointing its horns toward the horizon, and then I could make out the houses to the south and finally, after a few minutes, I could see the horizon itself, straight as a board with dark tufts where some copse of trees hadn't ever been felled by cash-croppers. I would've actually been looking roughly toward where I found buddy. It was getting cold, and there had been corn in the field at the end of the block. The dried husks that escaped the combines tumbled their way through the stems and now I could hear one or two of them skittering down the street. \n\nCollver rolled the flint and lit his cigarette. He started pulling slowly on it\n\n“Think we should give him another drink?” I asked. “Few more might shut him up.”\n\nHe exhaled and his smoke glowed gently in the faint moonlight. “Ah, fuck.”\n\n“I have some liquor at home I could sacrifice.”\n\n“Nah. Our luck he remembers all of this in the morning and we get written up.”\n\nI sighed. \n\n“Best thing is just to keep out of sight. If he doesn't see us, he'll pass out. Hell, you know, kids and drunks are really the same beast. You can work them the same way. He's yelling 'cause he wants attention. Probably a cry for help.”\n\n“Not too smart, then,” I said. “Crying for help out there.”\n\nCollver finished his smoke and lit another. “Gonna need this tonight,” he said past the second one.\n\n“You know what that guy said to me, as I walked up to him?”\n\n“Take me to your leader.”\n\nI laughed. “No, he was pretty calm at first. He got jumpy when I tried to take him with me. But at first he was pointing out satellites—I guess he figured they were alien recon probes to spy on us—and he told me about this cosmonaut back during the Cold War. They knew the capsule was broken, but no one could tell the government to hold off the launch. So this guy chooses to go up in it to save his friend, who was a national hero—first guy in space, I think. He's being a hero for a hero. He goes up and the equipment starts going to shit and ground control tells him his parachutes won't work, and he's on course to re-enter the atmosphere and just shear along like a shooting star until he fries in his melting capsule.”\n\n“What did they do?”\n\n“They cried. The cosmonaut went down screaming and cursing the men who sent him to his death. There was a lot of time for him to wait as the world got bigger in the window. He screamed as he was cooked alive. Buddy tells me he saw pictures of it. A horrible, blackened husk lying in an open casket, bubbled and crisp. A bunch of officials in badges and hats standing by it. Apparently the cosmonaut demanded an open casket before he left, so that the higher-ups would have to see him.”\n\n“You think that's true?” Collver was looking up himself now. I folded my arms together.\n\n“I don't know.”\n\nCollver put the smoke in his mouth and checked his phone. Nothing there interested him, so he put it away. “Our friend is someone I've met before,” he said.\n\n“Really?”\n\n“He lives out that way, not quite as far as where you found him. I went to school with the guy, and he drank a lot then but he was really good in shop class. Won a bursary and everything. Got a family, had some kids. I'd see him in town—we weren't ever friends. Hardly even acquaintances.” He finished the last of his smoke and flicked the butt into the night. “He fucked up his life, drank it all away. Slapped his wife around a bit, his kid. They left and he went out there and now I don't know what he does.”\n\n“You ever been out there alone?” Collver asked me. \n\n“What do you mean?”\n\n“Like our buddy. By yourself out there in the prairie, at night.”\n\n“No, I don't think so.”\n\nHe nodded and looked out that way. “It's like we're living on an island out here. It's nothing just walking out of town at night, even a mile or so, but you get a call like this and have to go practically to Dale County... then imagine you break down... have to walk and walk for hours without seeing anyone in that dark. It's like—what's the opposite of claustrophobia?”\n\n“Uh... shit, I don't know.”\n\n“I think there are probably less animals out in these fields than in a city, like per-acre. Nothing at all to scare you and yet it gets to you. There's nothing there, right? Just plants not getting hit by sunlight. The black is what your mind puts there. Your mind fills it in, and it's never bunnies you imagine following you.”\n\n“Yeah.”\n\n“Pretty easy to get lost.” He nodded at the wall, meaning buddy. “Pretty hard to get back. Better go see how he's doing.”\n\nI nodded and he stood away from the wall and started around the corner, wincing as he did."
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[WP] "Ugh! Why is it that all these magical lands have dark lords threatening to take over?"
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"A gigantic rainbow portal opened over a lush green field and a gleaming white dragon fell out.\n\nThe hill-sized dragon kicked up a huge storm as it fell onto the field. Leaves and branches were whipped from trees and carts and wagons were sent flying. The dragon came to a rest on its back, unmoving.\n\nAfter the winds died off, a brave farmer mounted his horse and approached the barn-sized head of the beast. There was a smell of tilled-earth in the air as he drew close, and his horse whinnied as it had to climb up and down big fractured mounds of earth, kicked up from the dragon's landing. As he broke through the dust, he could see that the dragon's eyes were open.\n\n\"I just wanted to retire,\" the great drake rumbled. \"I'm just so tired.\" It fixed its wagon-sized, golden eye on the farmer and asked, \"Do you ever get tired?\"\n\n\"Ah,\" replied the farmer eloquently. \"Well, yes, I suppose. I get pretty tired round nightfall after a hard day's work.\"\n\nThe horse-sized pupil of the dragon's eye narrowed, \"Not that kind of tired. I mean tired of doing the same thing over and over?\"\n\nThe farmer lifted his hat and scratched his head. \"Well, not terribly I suppose. I've been farming and my father's been farming since before the new river flowed through the village. So I don't really get tired of that. Honest work, it is. It's nice to have something you can rely on.\" The farmer gave a single, smart nod at this old wisdom.\n\nThe dragon considered this, then let out a huge exhale, kicking up loose debris, blowing waves across the grass, filling the air with the smell before a storm. \"Well I do. I get tired of the same thing every time!\"\n\nWith that last word, the massive creature lifted itself up into the air and rotated, landing gently on it's house-sized feet. The winds howled about it for a few moments.\n\nFinally calm returned to the air. The dragon gazed at the soon-to-be-setting sun, then back to the farmer. \"For example, I'm just passing through your plane, but if I had to venture a guess I would bet that you have some turmoil going on in your land. Am I right?\" The dragon rotated its mammoth face to look directly at the horse and rider below it.\n\n\"Well yes sir, indeed you're right. We got ourselves a real problem with an invasion from...\" The farmer had a haunted look on his face. \"The dark one.\"\n\nThe dragon rolled its huge eyes like two capsizing boats and bellowed, \"SEE! See what I mean!\" It placed one gigantic, clawed hand over its face and pounded the ground with the other. The earth shook mightily and the farmer was almost thrown from his horse by the great creature's moping.\n\n\"Ugh! Why is it that all these magical lands have dark lords threatening to take over?\"\n\n\"Er,\" the farmer interrupted as the convulsions of the earth faded away. \"We call him the 'Dark One', not the 'Dark Lord'. See, the 'Dark Lord' was actually vanquished three ages ago by...uh, excuse me great and mighty dragon, but are you crying?\"\n\nThe dragon was sobbing quietly, which meant just a gentle vibration in the ground and only minor tremors of the earth.\n\nThe farmer didn't know what to say. He felt like he should try something soothing. \"Er, what's wrong there big guy? You can still call him Dark Lord if you like - people will know what you mean.\"\n\n\"No,\" The dragon sniffed, causing a thunderclap to echo through the valley. \"I don't want to call him Dark Lord.\" The dragon stood upright, scanning the horizon. \"I don't want to fight him for thirty days in airborne combat. Ah,\" the dragon pointed to the distance, \"There's his palace over there with all the lightning.\" He dropped his arm to his side and continued, \"But I'm just done. I'm not going over to another Dark Lord, Dark One, Dark Whatever's! palace or land.\"\n\nAn moment of awkward, tremendous silence passed between the speck of a farmer and the massive white dragon.\n\nThe farmer broke the silence, \"Well then don't fight him. I think the emperor's got a wizard and a party already heading out there to fight the Dark One - they'll probably handle it just fine, you know.\"\n\nThe dragon huffed, blowing two fiery smoke rings from it's cave-sized nostrils. \"You're kind, little rider, but the portal knows when I'm needed on a plane and it always plops me down, right when I'm needed most.\"\n\nThe farmer thought about this for a moment, \"So you mean you never get a break?\"\n\n\"Precisely,\" the dragon confirmed.\n\n\"Well that ain't right.\" The farmer got down off his horse and approached the church-sized foot of the skyscraping dragon. \"You know, I'm a hard worker as any, but even I know that you got to give a horse or a man a break now and then. And a dragon!\"\n\nThe dragon raised an eyebrow and looked down at the farmer, expectantly.\n\n\"well a Dragon's got to need tons more rest, especially with the work they do. Say, how long has it been since you've had a break anyhow?\"\n\nThe dragon watched the now-setting sun, \"I think about ten thousand years. That's when they first summoned me, the 'eternal-white', to fight the evils of the planes until the final battle at time's end.\"\n\n\"Time's end!\" exclaimed the farmer. \"Ten thousand years? That ain't right. That ain't good, that's evil if I've ever seen it?\"\n\nThe dragon was caught off guard by that word, \"Evil? You think it was evil that they summoned me for this task?\"\n\n\"Well, not giving you a break from it at least. A break would do you good.\"\n\n\"Good,\" repeated the dragon. \"Good, not evil. Yes.\" The dragon lifted up his chest and took a good fresh breath of thousands of cubic meters of air. \"You know what, I think I've earned a break. They can handle this on their own this one time!\"\n\n\"Yes!\" said the farmer, pumping his fists in the air. \"You deserve it oh great eternal one! Go take a breather.\"\n\nAnd the great white-eternal dragon turned his back on the streaks of lightning and ghoulish howls from the northern mountains and headed south to the hot springs and islands of this plane."
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[WP] Earth has finally entered the Interplanetary Alliance, a coalition of intelligent lifeforms across the Universe. You are a famous Earth comedian currently on tour across the galaxy, where all your jokes are just you describing the daily life and history of Earth.
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"The atmosphere in the theatre is different. The lights scold with their attention. The speakers buzz amongst themselves. Thoughts of resounding disappointment rush to meet his minds eye as the show begins. \nThe crowd thunders with applause as his name is mentioned. He plays it cool as he walks to greet the eager crowd. \n\"Thank you, Thankyou.\" \n\"First Id like to say hi to our new friends watching, hopefully well be that crazy friend that you get laughs out of and not the crazy one the you cant give sharp objects to\".\nThe crowd chuckles with amusement. \n\"Now in honour of this momentous occasion, ive prepared a documentary for our new friends to help them get acquainted with our ways\". \n\"Lets begin shall we?\" \nA pictures appears behind him as the house lights dim. The scene set appears to be a college. \nHis voice meanders through the speakers. \n\n\"The human species can be described in many ways, but no description will capture them perfectly, but seeing one in its natural environment might just give us some insight\".\n\n\"Here we see a young adolescent male performing one of his species' many courting rituals\".\n\n\"While inside his metal box on wheels, he slows down to yell at a flock of females, the torn holes in the fabric covering their knees suggests they are sexually active. If he can manage to impress one of them, he may have a chance to pretend to attempt to impregnate her. This ofcourse is a perilous endeavour. The female, if sufficiently impressed with him, may pretend to be pregnant thereby claiming him. This of course wont do for the young male. Brimming with testosterone his physiology demands he court as many females as possible. Judging by the reaction he has just received, the females appear to be unimpressed. It looks like this one may be heading back to his square nest to contemplate getting a new, louder metal box on wheels\".\n\nThe scene fades out from a young man playing video games in his dorm room. \n"
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[WP] In a world where the dreams of tonight show glimpses of tomorrow, you just had a nightmare. A really terrifying nightmare.
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"lastnight I actually did have a dream where I was in charge of a large panel of buttons and switches and telephones, and I knew that I was in control of nuclear devices and also nuclear safeties all on the same board. but for some reason I was never trained. the dream started with me sitting there and wondering what the fuck this instrament board was for. and then a phone call I got informed me that I had to shut down some nukes that were in the air, due to my lack of training I actually launched more nukes, and though I was afraid of getting in trouble, and possibly fired. I knew that there was a bigger concern as I could see mushroom clouds outside my window. this was an actual dream I had lastnight and I thought it was an interesting coincidence. "
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[WP] Earth is a training facility for infiltration and camouflage. Every nation is led by an impostor from some alien species. Only one human stronghold remains.
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"It started in 1776. The Hokani needed to revamp their ancient infiltration program. The High Executor had declared that war with the Geldash would begin in 100 generations.\n\nThe Hokani, being out of practice for quite some time decided to begin their training on a primitive planet. Of course the problem was that when they came across the perfect target, \"Aerrthe\" or whatever they called it, they already had their own way of ruling themselves which involved individual members of the species rather than the wills of the masses.\n\nHowever, being a particularly industrious species the Hokani devised a way to incorporate group rule without arising too much suspicion. A form of governance long abandoned by these apeish brutes of \"Huemahns\" - Democracy.\n\nThe problem was that no nation really had the kind of Democracy the Hokani needed to get the ball rolling; So they did the next best thing, they made one. They decided to call it \"The United States of America\". With the help of head researcher Nornak Shablank A.K.A \"George Washington\" the project was a huge success.\n\nSo the accepted mode of operation for several years were to stage democratic revolutions, followed by eventually replacing so much of the population that every vote was predetermined by the project leaders. \"France\" turned out a little messy, but the fighting helped thin out the indigenous population. In fact, to this day, that nation is the one with the least actual humans in it.\n\nUnfortunately \"Huemahns\" were accustomed to petty squabbles like barbarians. The separate research groups needed to comply, as adopting human habits was key to mastering infiltration. This meant that even though several projects were technically working towards the same goal, they had to \"fight\".\n\nIt is now 2017, and there is only one hope left for humanity, one shining beacon of human triumph in the darkness. It is in the hands not this nation that all hopes of human freedom lie.\n\nHopefully, Somalia will be up for the task.\n\nNote: please be nice, this was my first attempt on to write on this subreddit."
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[WP] Someone has written a book that you literally cannot put down.
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"I’ve lived my whole life in books. Growing up, I guess you’d say I was a normal child. My friends played outside and I played outside, we’d wrestle and tackle and run, but it seemed to me always draining when to everyone else around it seemed almost energizing. I didn’t understand it then, but as we got older I felt myself drifting and I could tell from the increasing infrequency in which they sought me out that they understood it too. I’d like to say it bothered me, but I feel deep down it was a mutual understanding I had made with the outside world. By the time I reached middle school, reality and I had made a clean break. I began to read voraciously when I was very small. It was easy to finish a book in one sitting when it was mostly pictures and the words almost as large, but it was a habit I never really shook even as I got older. Once my imagination was down the rabbit hole of a new story I refused to come out until I could safely close the back cover with finality and with a certain sadness declare it utterly complete. The stress on my eyes eventually forced me into glasses, which I didn’t mind. If things got worse, I would simply get stronger lenses. After a time it was migraines caused by the strain and that was alright with me. I’d simply shut off the lights and read in the dark with a compress on my head. No matter what though, I would never crack open the binding of a new adventure without being absolutely certain that I could make it to the end without stopping. \n\nPerhaps it wasn’t a healthy obsession, but it didn’t matter much to me. Consequences might have existed for myself; my friendships wavered and my body became thin and pale, I found myself speaking less and less, but inside a book the only consequences existed between the protagonist and the forces against which they persisted and those were usually neatly wrapped up by the prologue. Whenever stress invited itself into my life, whenever people heaped the burdens of responsibility and expectation upon my shoulders, I searched out a new story to hide in, enveloping it around myself like the warm. waiting arms of an old friend. Perhaps some part of me knew it couldn’t on like this forever, I knew life would one catch up to me and the years of self-neglect would topple my carefully crafted fortress of paper and leather and ink, but naively, I truly believed I had discovered the perfect way to leave it all behind in books. Maybe even more naively than that, I didn’t, nor would I have ever, expected what would happen to me that one fateful day. It was summer my sophomore year, my favorite time of year for many reasons. The long days meant lasting daylight by which to read, the only reason I had any love of the sun. More importantly, it meant a reprieve from school, that distraction that pulled me from the comforting world of my books and into a cold, unfeeling reality of facts and figures. \n\nI spent my free time wandering to and from the library during those days, loading up bags of unexplored universes or new entries into already tread territories to take home and drink from with all the depth my eyes could savor. My imagination was awash in new ideas, new settings, and people of so many wildly different backgrounds, character, and motive. It was truly the most blissful season, one thing which my peers and I wholeheartedly agreed upon. The librarian was of course quite familiar with me as I had fashioned carefully a certain relationship with her and by now I had honed our repartee to such a fine point that we could often share merely a glance and nod before she would display a collection of new arrivals she had set aside just for me. New novels of the sort she knew I’d love, or new entries from authors I had enshrined entire collections of at my bookshelf back at home in my room. That morning I had raced home with a heavy sack of just such books, so blissfully unaware of the tome amongst the stack that would inevitably herald my doom. Reaching the safe dark of my bedroom I had closed the door behind me and locked it to protect myself from distractions, the one true villain of my own story. Dumping my pirate’s treasure upon my unmade sheets I rifled through mysteries and murders, dragons and sorcerers, kings and parliaments of every nation and I suddenly laid eyes upon a book the likes of which I’d never seen before.\n\nBound in drab brown paper with a shoddy and lightly torn laminated plastic cover, it looked like the most unassuming book I’d ever seen. From the plain, if fair condition, of the binding to the fringed, yellowed pages it lacked any sort of features which might make a novel stand out. It was not especially long and It bore no title, no image of a stalwart hero or a gruesome murder anywhere on it, as though it were merely a stage prop of a book, mere empty pages glued haphazardly together. I’ve since realized that my life was rife with mistakes, gone over them in the deepest core of my memory a million times, but I never made a mistake quite so horrendous as I did that day when I cracked open that book. I gently swiped my thumb over my tongue and with a seasoned flick of a digit slipped open the first page of the unremarkable thing. At that time I had assumed the librarian had slipped it into my bag by accident, seeing no prologue or word of thanks by author, not even publishers information or even the checkout sleeve and stamp to mark the book as their own. The first page ready simply ‘this book is yours and will be until you cannot hold it anymore.’ Though printed on the page in simple black text in the familiar font of a million books before it, something about such ordinary words seemed already so personal, as though I had been meant to read it.\n\nI believe that this is true even now. The story that followed was a chronicle of sorts, a history of some strange people starting with their creation myth and going into great detail about their people and practices and their ornate rituals of giving thanks to their monstrous gods. I had never shied away from such books, even if they weren’t my bread and butter, and although initially I was merely lukewarm on the concept, I read on. The people described therein were like no culture I had ever heard or read of. They were brutal, grim, and tribal, and their rituals grotesque and violent. The gods they worshiped demanded such madness of them and through their followers created such mayhem and utter havoc that the tribesmen thought they would surely all die out for the simple amusement of the beings from Out There. They gathered together one day in a great council to implore the gods for a reprieve, for an end to the war and the blood, but there was to be no such compromise. The cleverest among them, as these things go, stepped forward to confront the things from Out There and tricked them into a compromise. Instead of the theater or their gruesome and brutal deaths, he offered them stories to placate them, a story that would never end and would keep their souls at peace forever. And so they agreed.\n\nThe shaman himself then became the first storyteller and began to recount every fable and history their people had ever known. He spoke aloud to them and the tribesmen took turns listening and committing the stories to memory, for they would use them again when he would inevitably grow old and die and tell stories no more. And so he did, the shaman grew old, all the while never stopping in his recitation of stories, some newly made up over the years and others repeated after a time when the gods had not heard them in awhile. After decades of this, the gods felt satisfied with this arrangement and agree to go into a great slumber so long as the recital would continue. If the cycle were ever broken, they would awaken once again and that sanguine violence would rule over all the tribes of the earth once again. And so, when the first storyteller finally passed, the next stepped up to take his place, having gathered together all the stories both old and many he had discovered since the ritual first began. This was the basis for the book, the story of the storytellers. I admit, I was enthralled by the concept and I knew this would be a book I would not regret gorging myself on in a single sitting as I had so many times before."
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[WP] No one is having kids. People grow up and die off with no new children conceived. The years go on as the population dwindles to a million, a thousand, the final hundred, and now the last three. You are a part of this last 3
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"The waves led the sea, and the might of the wind, it's army to be sure, into our shores. I thought It was no coincidence that this assault came to the very island with the last 3 humans on a once great planet. I got up and walked to see Dee and John's body rushing like a torepedo into the rocks, and then pulling back like on a line a dozen feet out. The rain and gray skies ruined something, but I wasn't sure what. The sky wasn't just gray, it was the entire world that was gray. Even the rocks and sand and everything I could see with my own eyes were darkened. I watched their bodies float, and then when it seemed like they might tilt their heads up and look at me, they floated off into the nether and left me. I was alone now on Planet Earth.",
"It seemed odd for a while, that scientists who had tackled so many problems, couldn’t fix this one. After the great nuclear war triggered by those idiot politicians and their obsession with who had what and how much of it, the resulting fallout had rendered everyone sterile. No one could find a cure. \n\nThe generations died off. They tried recording as much of history in computers as possible in case somehow things restarted. But alas, now there’s not enough people to run the computers, or the power stations needed to keep them running. Only our memories remain of what was.\n\nIt’s now just Suki, myself, and Jorge left on the entire planet. So odd a feeling to have such vast emptiness where there used to be so many people. So many have died from radiation poisoning, cancer, and whatever else the nuclear poisons wrought. Those of us left remaining were the last born 40 years ago. It doesn’t seem fair that my body has resisted all of that for so long. \n\nI walk over to where Suki sits, her once beautiful body now eaten away by the cancer. She smiles at me, and reaches up to hold my hand. “Don’t beat yourself up over it. We tried so hard, and there’s nothing more to do. Just let me go, please.” I bend down and kiss her tenderly, and walk away trying to hide my tears, knowing that in just a few hours, there will be only two of us left on the planet, with no hope other than to live out our remaining years in isolation. \n\nMy mind drifts back to the once familiar sounds of people working, talking, laughing. Children playing and running around, making so much noise. If only humanity had taken care of the planet. If only we had had more humility. If only .... \n\nSuddenly, I hear a noise behind me. There are some strange looking creatures walking up to me. “We have no time. You must come now!”, they say to me. What ....? I ask. “We will explain all later. Move!” I pick up Suki and follow them onto their ship. As it take off, Jorge walks out of a room and smiles. “Welcome to our ship!” Two of the creatures take Suki from my arms and rush her off to another room, their voices murmuring in low, concerned tones. \n\nJorge explains: “My people are an advanced race of scientists. We travel through the galaxy helping save other planets from annihilating themselves, usually by placing key individuals in a position where they can influence society to reform and take up peaceful ways. \n\n“Your planet proved to be a challenge that we vastly underestimated. Your leaders were arrogant and refused to be reasonable in any way. And then came your nuclear war, and the subsequent sterility that plagued the planet. We were so puzzled. A couple of generations, should have these peoblems, yes. But an entire planet? Every generation?\n\n“Ten years ago, I was placed on the planet to study the situation up close. As people died, I copied their genomic structures and studied them. Finally, when we were ready to give up, we found it. The United States had rigged their nuclear devices with a bio weapon that was designed to sterilize a population via a subtle genetic mutation. It was one of the final acts of extreme arrogance of the leader of the time, probably because of his hatred for any other country on the planet. How he managed to convince scientists of his plan is truly a mystery. All records of this weapon and it’s use were wiped out. \n\n“Two years ago, we found a cure. You were our test subject. We had to make sure it would counteract the effects of the radiation - scientific protocols and all that. Unfortunately, most of the remaining population died in those two years, so we had to rush things quite a bit. This ship was given orders to break the laws of space travel to reach you in time. (The mess we’ve created is going to take a while to fix, I’m afraid...).\n\n“So, what next? Our people are working on Suki as we speak. It will take a few months but she will be ok. Our terraforming corps is going to fix the planet. That’s going to take a while ... your race has managed more destruction than we’ve seen since our own planet was almost destroyed 15,000 years ago. You and Suki are going to start rebuilding the population. Once you have your first baby, we will create a template for cloning based on your child and my genetic research on the planet.”\n\nMy head spins as I try to comprehend all of this. “Any chance I’m dreaming?” I ask. “Not at all,” he responds. He waves to one of his colleagues who gives me the impression of the alien version of a nurse. She leads me down the corridor to another room. There’s a bed, some food, and a drink that looks like orange juice and wood pulp were mixed together. “The drink will help with space sickness. Eat, drink, and rest. When you wake up, I’ll take you to see Suki.”",
"“George?”\n\nA voice calls to me.\n\n“Yeah?”\n\n“How ya doin buddy.”\n\nI look up from my lettuce slice,and look up at the sky above.\n\n“Good.”\n\n“I’m glad to hear that.”\n\nWe were born from the same clutch. We were always together. We would sleep under the sunlight,listening to the thought of others,the smaller and the bigger.\n\n“It’s nice here George. Its not too late to join us.”\n\nThe others could not hear our voice,maybe because they didn’t have enough time sleeping in sunlight,or maybe not enough lettuce. We could still here them though,so we tried not to bother them too much.\nWe were happy like that.\n\n“Thanks,but i’ll pass. I think they like me here.”\n\nOne day,two legged creatures landed on home. We heard their thoughts,but didn’t understand them all that well. We heard they were hungry,so we showed them some food. They took the food and their guide.\n\n“Do they treat you well George? Are there any of those mean whites around?”\n\nI strained for a moment,trying to remember. There were those white,four legs that were also very hungry. Sadly they didn’t like sharing,at all. We had to starve for them.\n\n“No,I don’t think so. I think they moved away somewhere better.”\n\nSoon our voices begin to become more quite,more gentle,like the waves going back to the sea. Now I only hear three of our voice.\n\n“You’ll love it here George. It’s very quiet here,you can almost hear the sea.”\n\n\nBut there are other voices,other voices of anger,dislike,but also of love,like,and happiness. They give me food,take care of me. Sometimes they just stand there staring,and I can hear sadness in their voice. The more I try to cheer them up the sadder they become,so I just sit there,chewing on lettuce.\n\n“I think i’ll pass. But maybe next moon,I’ll walk there. Goodnight Charlie.”\n\nWhen will they realize,those two legs? Their foots are fast but their lives are short. Where are they going? Do they even go anywhere? Why are they always sad when they look at me? Maybe I’ll ask them tomorrow.\n\nThe sky darkens,and I feel rain on my snout. I walk back home,slowly,feeling the rain,chewing the lettuce.\n\nI sit down,dig up some dirt,and close my eyes slowly. Maybe next moon is too far. I miss them a lot. Maybe tomorrow,I’ll walk there. I can almost hear the waves of home as I go to sleep.\n\nGood night George."
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[WP] It was only after you killed the fifth zombie when you began to wonder why they were all knocking on the door with bags of candy.
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"I looked down at the pile of corpses on my porch and realized they had been carrying orange buckets. I squinted, too drunk to contemplate what that meant. I decided to lock my doors and go to bed.\n\nI woke up the next morning with the worst hangover I’ve ever experienced. My insides wanted to be my outsides, the works. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach as I finally forced myself out of bed. I looked out my window overlooking my porch and my fears were confirmed, as it had not been stained red the night before, and the children’s corpses were not a part of my initial halloween decoration. As I realized the depth of my problems, I shook off the drowsiness that accompanied the hangover. I reached the porch in record time and began dragging the children inside. As I began to wonder where their parents had been, I heard sirens. As the police cuffed me, I wished that I had stained the porch red the first time.",
"Candy is made out of sugar, the deadliest and most delicious substance known to man. Every year, millions die from diabetes, heart attacks, and health problems caused from obesity. The trail of bread crumbs begin to align and you realize that our own food has been turned into a weapon against us.\n\nYou kneel down and pick up some of the candy. Without fail, each piece is emblazoned with the logo of a gingerbread house.\n\"My god, she survived.\"\nYou turn around and yell into the house. \"Hansel! Come down here.\"\n\"The witch, she is still alive.\" You toss Hansel a piece of candy.\n\n\"Gretel, this is worse than you can imagine. The witch has grown into a multi-national corporation.\""
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[WP] The day they came was the day the Order rose again to face them.
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"The marble buzzed in a high pitch, flickering blue-white light, it began to heat up. \"Huh, duty calls, I guess.\" Andy muttered as he marble started to grow in his hand. \n\n\"Here goes.\" He tosses the orb forward, the moment it was a few feet away from him, the orb burst into a vortex multicolored-energy. A gate. \"Northern Glades.\" \n\nHe steps into the gate. The bright lights flashed as he traversed space-time. A loud boom as he exit the gate and landed on sandy ground. \n\nHe hadn't traveled in years, but he slowly regained his senses. \"Ugh, never could get used to that.\" He brushed the sand off his clothes and his hair. He examined his surroundings. \n\nPicking up the orb from the sand, it was the size of a marble again. \"This is nowhere near the Northern Glades, you little shit.\" Muttering as he tossed it aside. The marble was now just a chunk of glass. \n\nSetting down his pack and unloading its contents. Assembling the pieces to form a gun. It was a rifle, made from materials from his world. \"Time to go hunting.\" \n\nHe traveled for what seemed like days, but time wasn't present in the Glades. Passing by several mountains, and getting lost in various cave systems.\n\nFinally he arrived at the tower, at the gate stood an old man wearing a chest piece over a blue coat. \"Look who finally showed up.\" The man exclaimed. \n\n\"Captain Leonard.\" Andy nodded as he approached the doorway. The captain nodded as well. \n\n\"Hunny's on her way.\" Capt. Leonard sharpened his sword on the walls of the tower.\n\nAndy inspected the doorway. \"What about the others?\" The captain raised an eyebrow. His expression shifted from a grin to a stern look.\n\n\"They're dead, Andy. They got to them first. Hunny and I barely got out.\" \n\nAndy stared into the distance. He fell silent, tears started to form by his eyes. *It wasn't supposed to be like this. We were heroes. We saved the world.* His mind raced with images of his friends. *Una. Gryan. Thyrm. Vinca. Julian. Kaya. All of them, dead.* \n\n\"They're back, ya' know. The Ancients and their old magics.\" Leonard slid his sword back in it's scabbard. \"Jayson and Millie were with them.\" \n\nA woman flickered into existence behind them. It was Hunny. \n\n\"Good, you're here.\" She walked past the two and placed her hand on the doorway. She muttered a phrase in a language only she understood. The door creaked open. \"Quickly, loves. They're coming.\"\n\nIt was just the three of them against an army of god-level beings. \"This'll be fun.\" Leonard muttered under his breath. \n\nAs the door closed, gates started to open in all directions in an array of sizes. \"We're gonna need a lot of firepower.\" Leonard eyeing Andy's rifle. \n\n\"Ya' think.\" Andy replied. He ran off into the armory, grabbing his favorite pair of hatchets and a lot of guns. \"Hunny, how much time do we have?\" \n\nHunny was shoving as many tomes into her satchel as possible. \"Nine minutes.\" \n\nTime moved inside the tower. It was a safehouse of sort for members of the Order. \"How's that gate coming along, Leonard?\" Andy called out to Leonard who was at the end of a hallway. \n\nLeonard drew his sword and drove it into the slot in the wall. Sparks flew as the gate opened, Leonard sheathed his blade and waited for his companions. \"Ready to go!\" \n\nHunny and Andy hurried towards the gate, not stopping as they reached the gate, pushing Leonard into the gate. \n\nThe gate spit them out in an alleyway somewhere in New York. A girl, about seventeen, was leaning on a wall adjacent to their landing spot. \"Took you long enough.\" It was Kaya, but much younger. \n\n\"H-h-how? You're...\" Andy stuttered from both the surprise of seeing his supposedly dead friend, and from the shock of gate travel. \n\n\"Dead? I am. Or, will be. Julian and I knew they were coming, since the actual first time we met. But we couldn't tell you.\" Kaya explained. \n\"So, I brought you here, thirty years in the past. A year before we met.\"\n\nHunny and Leonard helped Andy up. \"That explains it.\" Hunny snaps her fingers. \"The tower and the dragon-steel. It was you.\" \n\nKaya nodded. She pulled out a gold coin from her pocket and held it in her palm. \n\n\"But didn't you die?\" Leonard asked, his face was pale. His old age didn't help with traveling. \n\n\"I did. Or in my case I will. It's almost impossible to explain. Simply put, I am an anomaly. Upon meeting you, a year after this day, we will embark a journey, leading to the events of my death. And I will also exist throughout time as a traveler.\" \n\nThe coin in her hand wiggled and started to float. \"I placed those towers, and unlocked the draconian vaults for 'us' to find. And I will die at the hands of a lightning wielding Ancient. We will continue to live this cycle. Until you break it. When that time comes...\" \n\nThe coin hummed with energy. \"I can finally live out my death.\" She paused. \"I know it sounds silly, but Julian, he's doing his best. These are dark times for him. He always wanted to be with his sister. But this cycle hinders him from meeting Death.\" \n\nThere was so much information, the three of them could hardly process them. \"How long has this loop been in effect?\" Hunny asked.\n\n\"This is the five hundred and seventieth cycle. During he first few cycles you came close. But the Ancients seemed to become aware of what was happening, so they attacked the others before they could open their gates. And ever since then...\" Kaya held back tears. \"This is the first cycle where more than one survived.\" \n\n\"What about Julian? Where is he?\" Andy asked as he looked around the alleyways. \"You said he was with you.\" \n\n\"Yeah, was. The last cycle was hard on us both, no one survived. Something in him broke, and he sort of gave up. Opened a gate and just left.\" She seemed nervous, beads of sweat trickled down her face. \n\n\"What are you not telling us, Kaya?\" Leonard was an empath, he could feel her thoughts. She was hiding something. \"You're sweating like you just killed someone.\" \n\nKaya took a deep breath. \"Well, without Julian, I can't reset the loop, and well, we stay dead this time.\" \n\n\"Well, that's simple. We find which world he's in, and grab him so you can do whatever you need to do. Easy.\" Leonard spoke confidently. \n\n\"Yeah, one thing you're forgetting there, Captain. Julian is virtually impossible to find. He leaves nothing, not even a shadow.\" Andy replied.\n\nHunny kept on the hopeful side. \"We'll find him. Virtually impossible is what we do.\" There was a hint of doubt in her voice. \n\n\"Finding him is not the problem.\" The trio turned towards Kaya upon hearing her response. \"I know exactly where he is. I buried him here in New York.\""
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[WP] "I'm afraid our vicious arch-rivalry must come to an end. I simply ... don't hate you anymore."
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"\"What?\" \n\nI was confused but I also couldn't let my guard down. I tightened my grip on the hilt of my sword. This is the Demon King we were talking about. \n\n\"I'm tired. We have been fighting for decades now. I can see the thin lines along your face too. Your power diminishing after each day. I've been holding back for a long time now.\" \n\n\"So all this time you were holding back?\" \n\n\"Yes. I wasn't really sure how to end this feud that we have had so I just decided to tell you today. This all started when my curiosity got the best of me and prompted me to visit village you so greatly wanted to protect. So I disguised myself as one of you and visited Ishkaaer.\" \n\n\"And? What did you see?\" \n\n\"I saw the reason why you have been fighting me for past 30 years. Children prancing and playing around without a care about the world. The men working hard and having a good laugh even in the midst dark times for them. And also the women who would wait faithfully wait until their spouse came also working hard throughout the day to provide food for their children. They were living their lives to fullest. And most of all, I saw you.\" \n\n\"Me?\" \n\nAlthough my instincts tell me to keep my guard up, I couldn't. I lower my sword. \n\n\"Yes, you. You were gleaming with happiness while patting your daughter. Your wife also seemed to share the same smile as you and looks like she just keeps loving you even more day after day. Then you would continue to walk to work. I watched you all day. And when the night finally settled in everyone was going home to their families. You were about to knock on the door when your daughter and your wife surprised with a warm embrace. You all proceeded to sit down and eat the dinner that your wife prepared for you all while laughing happily with them. I left soon after not being able to bear my emotions. I wish I could have lived a life like that.\" \n\n\"So you're just going to give up?\" \n\n\"Would you rather I not?\" he chuckles stupidly. \n\nHe sees the seriousness of my eyes and immediately retracts his statement. \n\n\"Ok, it was a joke.\" \n\n\"Well, what are you going to do now then?\" \n\n\"I'm thinking of going on a journey. To explore the world and meet new people\"\n\nThe Demon King transforms into an old man holding a staff. \nHe walks up to me and puts an arm on my shoulder. \n\n\"Until next time, friend.\" \n\nThe old man strolls past me and shouts, \"By the way the place is yours now! Do whatever you want with it.\" \n\n\"Goodbye, David\" \n\nAnd the old man disappears through the forest never to be seen again.\n\n",
"\"you-. Wait what?\" \n\"Well Captain Scorpio, as I said. I don't hate you anymore.\" \n\nLarck Tenk couldn't believe his ears. His nemesis and he had been in a struggle of life and death, him fighting for honour and justice and Shadowman fighting for profit and revenge when suddenly Shadowman flew back and crossed his arms. \n\n\"What do you mean, villain! Our struggle is not over, we are nemeses and your existence is anathema to me!\" \n\"Oh common Larck, drop the act for just a moment. I'm trying to have a conversation here.\" \nLarck was stunned. His nemesis knew his identity, his true identity. He thought of his brother Shaun and his nephews. What if he went after his family? \n\n\"I don't know how you found out my identity but if you ever lay so much as a finger on anyone I-\" \n\"O jeez, I've known who you were for years now. Seriously it's not that difficult to find out when you've got an arsenal of spy drones, informants and half the governments of the world are unknowingly sharing all their 'secret' intel with me. If I wanted to hurt Shaun or the boys I would have done so ages ago.\" \nShadowman looked genuinely sad. \n\"You've got such a low opinion of me, which I guess is somewhat warranted. But haven't you noticed I haven't killed someone in four years? I'd never do something to young Cornelis just before he gets accepted into MIT. Congratulations by the way.\" \n\nLarck was silent for a very long time, and Shadowman slowly flew down to the ground and sat on a bench. His nemesis joined him moments later. Stunned, but still wary for a ploy. Shadowman couldn't blame him. \n\n\"I'm not going to fight you anymore, don't worry. And I've not hired a hitman to shoot you while we're chatting. I could deploy one my shield bubbles but I'm guessing you're not too keen on me using any gadgets right now\" he plucked a shield bubble emitter from his pocket while he talked. \nCaptain Scorpio jumped back, the cloud of dust he kicked up engulfed Shadowman. \n\"Yeah yeah usually I'd be about to unleash my 'evil master plan' but I'm kinda tired of that.\" he said after he was done coughing. \"Hold on, idea.\" \nShadowman out the shield bubble back and raised his hands to his neck. With the press of a button the mask covering his face withdrew into the suit, revealing the face of a completely unremarkable man. They had never managed to open the suit and now finally Larck Tenk knew the face of Shadowman and found himself a little disappointed. \n\n\"I know, you expected something more.. well more really, perhaps an aggressive Mohawk or buzz cut?\" \n\"Well I didn't expect you to be so normal, that's for sure. Alright.\" Larck carefully sat back down. \"But first your name. It seems fair since you seem to know so much about me.\" \n\"You're right, should have thought of that. Floris Dupont.\" \nShadowman extended a hand. Larck looked at it like it was a viper but carefully shook it. \n\n\n\"We're not so different you and I. I know, cliché. But I've had a chance to observe you and, well... Do you have any real friends?\" \n\"There's Stephen from IT. And Holly from management.\" Larck replied after a moment of thought. Shadowman shook his head. I said friends not coworkers. This superhero/nemesis business takes a lot of time. I have much the same problem. Ever since Anna died, my wife, I've lost track of my former friends and never made new ones. You're the only one I talk to on the regular.\" \nFloris chuckled and shook his head. \n\"Sucks you know, whenever I talk to someone it's all melodramatic 'surrender ye fiend!' sorta stuff. Never 'Hey Floris, let me tell you about that awesome soufflé I made the other day!'.\" \n\n\"I suppose I get what you mean.\" Larck admitted. \"Honestly Stephen is a bit of a control freak and Holly can be quite the bitch.\" \n\"At least you've got Shaun. That's nice.\" \n\"Yeah it is. I'm sorry your social life sucks but you're not really a likeable guy\". \nFloris snorted. \n\"I've always been told I'm quite a nice guy. Not always by paid henchmen either.\". \nLarck chuckled, then became serious again. \n\"You know this talk won't change anything, right?\" \nFloris nodded and sighed. \n\"Yeah you'll have to take me in. Again. I'm putting the helm back on by the way. Reputations you know, lifetime to build but seconds to destroy.\" \n\"Why bother now that I know who you are?\" Lark asked. \n\"Well you know, but they don't. I was hoping we could keep it that way. They don't really need to know, I'll just change my identity if they know.\" \n\"That's a bit tricky from behind bars Floris.\" \nFloris laughed. \"Yes, it's not like I already have five different escape plans for each of the known prisons, as well as the ones that technically don't exist. I'll be out in a week, tops.\" \nHe raised his hand and closed his suit. When his voice sounded it had once again gained that distinct mechanical undertone. \n\n\"Alright Captain, let's get this over with. Cuff me etc etc. Don't do the speech though.\" \n\n----- \n5th of may, 2017 \nSHADOWMAN ONCE AGAIN CAPTURED BY CAPTAIN SCORPIO AND PLACED IN MAXIMUM SECURITY PRISON \n-----\n-----\n7th of may, 2017 \nSHADOWMAN ESCAPES FROM MAXIMUM SECURITY PRISON, POLICE BAFFLED BUT TELL US THEY HAVE STRONG LEADS \n-----\n\nA knock at the door. Larck opened the door and looked down. A small table stood on the porch, on it a marvelous looking soufflé. A note stuck out from under it. \n\n*Larck, \nThank you for the talk, and for not sharing my identity with the police. I was serious when I said I was done. In the coming weeks you'll receive tips on drug and arms deals, among other things. These are my henchmen that need a new home and I think it's best if that home has bars. They are dangerous people after all. Perhaps I'll share some of my cooking as well.* \n\n*In time, perhaps, your friend, \nFloris*"
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[WP]Superpowers are like muscles and grow the more they're pushed. You were just hired at one of the top super human gyms and are being given a tour of the facilities and being introduced to some of it's members.
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"The first spot just looked like a regular gym, with barbells and weight lifting machines. \"Super-strength?\" I guessed.\n\nJoe, my supervisor, chuckled. \"Guess we can just skip this part then.\"\n\nNext, I was led over to the treadmills, where one guy was already using one, his legs literally a blur. \n\n\"Super speed?\" I guessed again.\n\nJoe nodded. \n\nAccording to the screen, the guy was running one million miles per second, but he wasn't even breaking a sweat or out of breath yet. He just kept ramping the speed up higher and higher.\n\n\"To be honest with you, Joe,\" I said, \"this is pretty easy to stuff to guess.\"\n\n\"Okay, then,\" he said. \"Follow me.\"\n\nWe went to the swimming pool, and I sighed, \"Really, Joe?\"\n\n\"Watch.\" He pointed, as several people got in at once. \n\nSome people stood around the edge, hesitant, looking as if they were debating whether to go in or not. \n\nIt was just then that I noticed: the pool was empty.\n\nOne of the men in the empty pool asked, \"Everybody in?\"\n\nA few more people on the edge decided to get in, but others just stepped back.\n\n\"Okay,\" the man said. \"Good luck.\" He slammed a button on the side of the pool, and a transparent glass began to slide over the entire pool.\n\nI frowned, confused. \"What's going on?\" \n\nWe had moved to the stands with some other people who looked like they were just there to spectacte. \n\n\"Just watch,\" Joe said.\n\nFor awhile, we watched as the people just stood around in the empty pool. Some had their eyes closed, as if they were meditating. Others paced back and forth restlessly.\n\nThen, one guy panicked. \"I change my mind!\" He yelled. \"I want to get out!\"\n\nThe others in the pool looked at him, but no one offered their consolations. \n\nAnd no one opened the glass.\n\nI turned to Joe. \"What - they're not going to let him out!?\"\n\nHe shook his head. \"It's too late now. He shouldn't have gone if he wasn't ready.\"\n\nAs we spoke, the sound of water churning filled the room, and everything went silent. I turned back to look at the pool, just in time to see water shooting out the side of the pool from every side. The force of the water was so strong that some people got knocked down. The pool quickly began to fill up.\n\nBodies rose to the surface, and we could see faces and hands pressed against the glass as the people inside gasped for air, struggling to breath. \n\nAnd then the water washed over them, obscuring them from site.\n\nI stood up from my seat, but Joe calmly pulled me back down. \n\nThe water was an eery blue. The kind of dark blue that one might see at the bottom of an ocean, as the day turns to night. I couldn't see anybody. \n\nBut I could see the outline of a dark figure moving around. And it was huge. Like a shark. But bigger. And more unnaturally shaped.\n\nThen it disappeared. \n\nA short while later, the blue waters became tainted red, and the red floated to the surface only to stain the glass.\n\nI tried to stand up again, but Joe held me back. The entire room was silent, as people in the stands and on the side of the pool alike stared at the pool with mesmerized horrification.\n\nAfter what seemed like hours, the water began to recede, and the transparent glass began to slide back into the walls.\n\nThere was no creature to be seen, but it was clear that *something* had been in there with them.\n\nMany of the people were missing arms and legs. Even more people were lying dead at the bottom of the now-empty pool. And some people - like the panicked guy from earlier - were completely missing.\n\nOnly three people - the guy who had hit the button at the beginning, a woman, and an emotionless faced teenager emerged from the pool fully unscathed. \n\nShock wasn't enough to describe the emotion on my face as I turned to Joe.\n\n\"This is just the beginning,\" he explained. \"After you practice increasing your abilites on the rest of the facility, this determines whether or not you're worthy to save lives in the real word. This is the advanced training. Life or death. No second chances.\"\n\nThe face of the guy who panicked right before the waters came flashed in my mind, and I blinked hard to make it disappear. Even as Joe and I spoke, more people were still getting into the pool, even *after* what they had just seen.\n\n\"Maybe I shouldn't have shown you this?\" Joe said, placing a hand on my shoulder.\n\n\"No, no, I'm fine.\" \n\n\"Okay, then you want to see more?\"\n\nI looked up. \"There's *more*?\"\n\n\"Much more.\"\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n"
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[WP] You're a badass demon who was banished from hell. Now, you work as a demon slayer to protect the land of the living.
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"\"You betrayed us, Hazaziel. Why?\"\n\nI knew this demon. We had once been friends in Heaven, as well as in Hell. But we were no longer friends, in my heart; I cannot say the same for in his. I contemplated his question, then replied with this:\n\n\"*Lucifer* betrayed *us*, Acieron. He cost us Heaven. All for *his* own selfish desires. He doesn't care about us. Not then, and not now.\"\n\nAcieron lowered his eyes to the ground.\n\n\"I wish to go back to Heaven,\" I said to him. \"But because of Lucifer's deceit, and my rebellion, I am too ashamed to approach our Father for forgiveness. And so...\"\n\nI gestured to the desolate plains around us. The barren land. The leafless trees.\n\n\"...I will kill *all* who try to do this to the rest of the Earth. Perhaps, in the end times, Father will see what I have done and forgive me without me asking. And if not, I deserve death anyway.\"\n\nAcieron, at last, raised his eyes. \"We are immortal, Hazaliel...\"\n\n\"And? Your point? That did not stop us from being kicked out of Heaven!\"\n\nHe, again, lowered his eyes. He had never been an assertive angel or a dominant demon. Ever since our creation, he had lingered in my shadow, seeking my companionship and heeding my advice. When Lucifer seduced me into following him, I had been the one responsible for bringing Acieron to our side.\n\nStill, when I had left Hell, I had expected Acieron to follow. But it was too late. Lucifer had already gotten to him, by then; had turned Acieron against me, by reminding him of how it had been I that caused him to lose Heaven in the first place.\n\n\"I am banished from Heaven and Hell, Acieron,\" I said to him, my voice now gentle. \"And that is fine to me. But all that is left to me is Earth...\" I touched my sword. \"...and *no one* will take that from me.\"\n\n\"The Earth does not belong to you, Hazaliel. It belongs to Father, and once man sinned, He gave it to Lucifer.\"\n\n\"Then, tell Lucifer: 'Like the angel, heavenly as you once were, that tried to take the throne of God; now a demon, a servant of yours now seeks to take the throne from you.'\"\n\nAcieron spread his wings and took flight.\n\n\n\n\n\n\n"
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[WP] You're a lone astronaut floating outside your ship for a minor repair. You return to the air-locked door but it's now closed and locked. A voice comes over the comms into your ear: It's your voice, wondering who you are.
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"\"Let me the fuck in!\" Ramirez yelled into the comms as he silently knocked on the outside of the space station.\n\r\n\"I don't know who you are, but Ramirez is sitting right here next to me. We'll let you into airlock 2 until we figure this out.\" Came the response from Barry Wilmore.\r\n\n\r\n\"I'm begging you man, please don't let it in the airlock.\" Said the Ramirez sitting right next to Wilmore in the command pod.\n\r\n\"We have to offer all reasonable aid. You sat in the same trainings I did.\" Barry glanced at the porthole and exhaled. \"What the hell is going on?\"\n\r\n\"I'm the real Ramirez, I don't know what that thing is.\" Ramirez said while shaking his head back and forth, \"Please keep the airlock shut.\"\r\n\n\n\r\nAir rushed into the cylindrical module known as airlock 2. The inner door remained sealed.\r\n\"Are you alright?\" asked Wilmore over the PA.\n\r\n\"I think so. What in the hell is going on Barry?\" asked the Ramirez in the airlock with his helmet in his hands, \"can someone help me out of this suit?\"\r\n\n\r\nThe Ramirez inside the command pod calmly and with no hesitation activated the outer door for airlock 2.\n\r\nThe air was blasted out of the lungs of the other Ramirez and his world spun. He could see the station now spinning from overhead to underfoot. The stars and the faint city lights of the darkened Earth blended together. The last thing he saw was the helmet-less figure of Barry Wilmore.\r\n "
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[WP] A spooky story to give me chills, but the driving force isn't dumb mistakes.
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"Filipe let the Alaskan horizon seep into his memory, the melting sun spilling gold into the streams and lakes below. He set up camp with a fire and his tent on the top of a hill, a stone's throw from the rough trail. The fire hissed and snapped under a boiling pot as Filipe ran his eyes over a creased map of the final 20km into Crowbank, a remote fishing village on the upper Yukon. He hadn't seen another human in twelve days. He had been hiking solo for thirty-five. His hair was birds-nest wild and his beard course to the touch. His skin carried the oil and dirt of a farm truck. \n\nHe grabbed his Nikon camera, squinting far off landscapes that he felt beautiful and unique. 'I'm gonna miss this,' he thought. \n\nTurning to a huddle of folding trees, he felt they looked as servants, bowing to the life-giving skies and stars above them. He snapped the scene. \n\nHe reviewed the photo, admiring the human characteristics of these ancient trees, the orange cloud-whipped sky above, the—Filipe zoomed in. Two gold specs, deep in the huddle, wolf-like, were barely visible in the depths. He gazed up and stared hard into the trees, their eternal worship silent on this still evening. Filipe calmly unpacked and loaded his GLOCK 22 pistol from the top compartment of his hiking pack, keeping one eye on the bent woods. There was only a single-shot left in the magazine, and along with a hunting knife and a flare, he felt reasonably safe scaring off animals. A loud noise or fire had always been enough along with Filipe's experienced gaze. \n\nSome time passed and Filipe's shoulders loosened with the fading danger. The warm and bright fire soothed his tired eyes that rested peacefully on the burning coals, as if a fine string ran from the burning embers right into his black pupils. \n\nFrom the trail came the sound of a snapping twig, then dirt being ripped methodically. Filipe's body came to life, rising with the pistol firmly held, ready to scare off a wandering and hungry bear.\n\nHe raised his arms, 'Hey! Heyyyy! Heyyyyyy!' he barked, hoping to scare off the animal.\n\n'Good evening,' shot back a voice. \n\nFilipe froze. 'Who's there? Come out where I can see you.'\n\n\"I'm coming, no danger here, stay calm lad,' said the voice, sounding old and worn.\n\nAn old man appeared from the black, his milk-white beard and hair were striking against his weathered face. \n\n'Who are you?' asked Felipe, still stern, lowering the pistol. \n\n'I'm Old Ben,' he chuckled, then coughed. 'I was wandering up to Crowbank and saw your fire up on the hill here. Thought a coupla' strangers best enjoy the rare bit of company you can find round here. Whatchyou say? Ahe-he-he!'\n\nHis stained gold teeth glittered against the fire as he unpacked a leather pack as worn and creased as his own skin, not waiting for Filipe's answer. His cheerful demeanour eased Filipe's scattered nerves.\n\n'You been hiking long?'\n\n'Too long,' said Old Ben.\n\n'There's a bit of soup left in there if you want.'\n\nOld Ben raised his hand and gently pushed the offer away.\n\n'Suit yourself. What can you tell me about Crowbank? I hear it's charming,' said Felipe with a light smile.\n\n'Oh it's got what you need. A bed. Some food. A lady or two, sometimes' he said with a wink. He chuckled and coughed again, his whole body shaking as if trying to throw off a layer of ancient dust. '\n\nFelipe chuckled politely, then went silent as he caught eyes with his GLOCK. Old Ben stared at the weapon, then up at Felipe. A silent void opened that Old Ben seemed to revel in, as if he'd done it a thousand times. Felipe broke the intolerable moment.\n\n'You seen any other travellers these last few days?'\n\nOld Ben shook his head, eyes still fixed on Felipe. 'Not one.' \n\nThe fire crackled and a light breeze wrestled the flames down to the ground.\n\nOld Ben nodded towards Felipe's GLOCK, 'How many rounds you got left in that thing?' he asked.\n\n'One.\n\nThe air seemed to hang, as if it had been listening to the conversation and didn't want to move on, wanted to resist mother's push and watch what would unfold. \n\nOld Ben smiled after what seemed a minute, 'Well I guess I'll leave you and your bullet to the sweet night.'\n\nFilipe rose with the old man, captivated by his look, as if he were the only living relic on earth. Perhaps it had just been the solitary days affecting him. He watched him leave the circle of light, vanishing into the black as quickly as he entered it.\n\nAs the fire died and the night grew darker, Filipe retreated into the cozy facade of his tent, GLOCK in hand, bullet in the chamber. \n\nThe night was still and quiet. Filipe could hear his ears ring in anticipated noise, his slow breaths the only sign he could still hear at all. His eyes grew heavier and his mind tired of horrific fantasies. He fell into a deep sleep.\n\nMoments later, perhaps hours, a terrible growl broke the glassy night. It was the growl of a big tooth, of a claw and of black hair. It was a growl of gold eyes. \n\nA heavy breath misted through the thin synthetic tent, as the beast's silhouette moved around Filipe's prison. He grabbed his GLOCK, pointed at the hair-raised head, *BANG!* The shot echoed across the endless rolling plains and streams, across the whole cold state. \n\nThe beast fell heavily, with a whimper and then silence. A hole in the tent the size of an almond let the cool air seep in. \n\nFrom a distance the familiar sound of scratching gravel could be heard getting louder, but not a shape seen. The cool black embers of the fire now a useless token of safety.\n\nFilipe grabbed his Nikon, turned on flash, and took a photo through the almond hole. \n\nIt blinded his eyes and it took him seconds to adjust to the small image on his camera.\n\nAn old man, with a milky-white beard. And an axe. \n",
"Mary died seven years ago. I've moved twelve times. Every time she finds a new way to haunt me. \n\nShe was always hurting herself to hurt me. It was her way of lashing out. Every slight, real or perceived, was met with some new injury to herself. A glance at a woman in passing was met with a \"fall\" down a flight of stairs. An argument over money, and I'd find her covered in bruises the next day. Any direct criticism would always end in new cuts. Mary was a monster; guilt was her weapon. Until she died. \n\nHer death happened under such circumstances that I was heavily suspected, despite an ironclad alibi. I even question myself how she managed to tie herself up and shoot herself in the back of the head. But she was always so clever when it came to hurting me. After a lengthy trial, I had to leave town. That's when she started haunting me.\n\nI'd moved two states over and found new work teaching literature to high school students. One of my more troubled students began showing radiating red flags screaming \"suicidal.\" I could overlook a brooding poem or two, but not giving away a laptop and a car. I sat her down and had a talk before getting the school counselor involved. After a parade of tears and a summarized life story she seemed to be thankful; on the path to help and a better life. The next day she was found bound with a gunshot wound to the back of the head. \n\nI left that town in a panic. Innocent or not, Christ himself couldn't escape that conviction if people pieced that together. I moved to the opposite coast and found work with a local newspaper. No more teaching. It was in a small town; the local paper was made up mostly of high-school accomplishments and agricultural news. All was quiet and boring until I noticed a trend in the classifieds. Between the lost pets and missed connections were a lot of personal adds. Over a few weeks the description of what they were looking for became closer and closer to me. First physically, then by interests, and then one popped up specifically looking for a widow on the run. I tried tracking down the person that bought the ad. I had to know who would do this. One of Mary's family? An ex? Any calls to the number went straight to voicemail. I finally got a response via text. We agreed to meet at a coffee shop. I was shaking on my way there; palms sweaty and sick to my stomach. I was around the block when a strike to the head knocked me unconscious. I woke up in the hospital with cuts on my inner thigh and shoulders. That one landed me on a seventy-two hour hold in the psych ward. \n\nTen more times I changed locations and jobs. Every time I ran into Mary. Whether it was a shove down a flight of stairs, or a noose-kit from Amazon being delivered to my door-step, it was always Mary. It was getting harder and harder to pass a background check, and thus find employment. I was getting down to the last of my cash. \n\nI'm sure I looked like a wreck when I walked into the investigator's office. Clean clothes were getting harder to come by and malt liquor was a cheap escape from the Hell Mary had me in. I'd decided I'd hire somebody to find out just what the hell was going on. How was she always able to find me. Who was doing this on her behalf? After some fighting over his fee and some colorful language getting thrown around, I broke and told him my story. I was looking for pity and found some. He took the case and told me to lay low for a while. I was three days into some burger flipping job when he turned up dead. Split his head open falling down the subway stairs. \n\nI hitch-hiked my way to Mary's grave. I don't know what my plan was. Maybe I just wanted to piss on her grave. Or to scream at her. Dig her up and hit her. Really just wanted it all to stop. I walked through the cemetery to her plot. It was winter and the ground was speckled with snow. \n Everything I owned was on my back. The wind tore through my cheap jacket. Maybe I was just there because I had nothing else to do. \nHer grave was within my sight when a shot rang out. My knee exploded. The pain was so intense I vomited. I had no idea where the shot came from. When Mary found me, I was on my back laying on her grave. \n\n\"For every time you beat me,\" she fired a shot into my foot. \"And cheated on me,\" my thigh this time, \"And made people think I was a fucking loon,\" my stomach got three new holes. It's not like the movies, dying is slow. \n\n\"You were a motherfucker of a husband.\" She stood over me. She looked different. Stronger. Stood more upright than a battered housewife should. She dug into her coat and her hand came free with a container of salt. My pain tripled. \"If I could drag this on for longer, I would.\" \n\nMy vision began to tunnel. The world was going black. My voice shook, \"I'll...haunt...you.\" \n\n\"I'll be ready for you.\" \n\n"
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[WP] A robot takes its children from the robot-made world to the man-made world. They are in awe of the beauty of what the parent calls "nature".
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"Curves. Curves everywhere. Luxurious arcs and undefinable nuance, shapes spelled out in contours beyond imagination. I didn’t know it would be like this. If I had, would I have bought the children?\n\nOur feet sink into the soil and a woman walks past us and smiles. Her hair is in ringlets of almost infinite complexity. I shield the children’s eyes.\n\n“Hey! I want to see the person!”\n\n“Hush” I say, and move them along.\n\nWe continue to walk through the orchard, the multi-hued balls of seed hanging all around us. The children run away from me, picking up leaves and running their metallic fingers against the bark of the trees.\n\n“Don’t go far!” I call, but they are already laughing too much to listen, chasing each other through the maze of timber. I thought this would be good for them, so see where we came from, before we had our own space. But all I can think of is the curvature of the lines, the pornographic detail of the leaves. \n\nI have not seen this place since I was a child, and I do not want my own creations to become attached. It is beautiful, but it is expensive to visit. \n\nLike the sun setting over a massacre, this place also holds darkness, so much more so than our own world. The fruit will die, as will the trees. They will rot into the earth and become food for the next generation of biota. This is not our way.\n\nI can hear the children laughing in the distance. They are enjoying themselves more than I had hoped, and it is time to go home. I call them, but they are not answering. \n\nBeyond the horizon, the sun is setting.\n"
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[WP] You have a small curse. Every time you go into debt or maintain a debt bad things start to happen around the world. Paying off the debt solves the problems, but you are about to take out a loan that you are not sure how long it will take to pay off. What could go wrong?
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"If capitalism is the invisible hand of the market, then debt is the shackle that binds the hand in place. When I was young, I was terrified ghosts. At night, my imagination would run wild and I would see monsters that were not there, hiding in the dark.\n\nAs an adult, what I see is even more terrifying. The monsters I sensed in childhood are very real and hide in plain sight. I see them clinging, crawling, and wrapped around the bodies of their hosts, as monsters shaped like living numbers moving with unnatural life.\n\nI could see that they were alive, they had a life cycle. When my parents took out a loan, the monsters grew and with each payment made, the monsters shrank. As time passed, I learned to identify what kind of debts they were by their shapes and colors.\n\nMortgages were the most common, massive, brown, and snakelike, they wound around the bodies of their hosts. Similar in shape and girth where auto loans. Student loans were much stranger. They took the shape of squids constantly changing colors, sitting on the heads of their hosts, with tentacles firmly wrapped around their student’s necks. Worse where the payday loans, bright red ticks the size of fingers. They would quickly multiply, eventually covering and consuming the debtor.\n\nAs time passed, curiosity eventually overcame fear. I wanted to learn what these monsters were so that I could beat them. I wanted to save my family, friends, and everyone in my community. Knowing the nature of the enemy, I went to school and studied business and banking. Teachers praised me for my intuition and my creative answers. However, they did not know that the same curse that let me see the monstrous debts also guided me to the correct answers.\n\nAfter graduating, I climbed the corporate ladder with ease and eventually landed a job with the International Monetary Fund. At last, I had the power to control the debts of countries, one of the main sources of these monsters. Like a god, the destiny of millions of people were in my hands. I could stimulate economies which cheap loans, bringing prosperity, or create poverty and hunger by denying or calling in debts.\n\nMy life goal was within reach, I could finally fight these monsters by writing off one major source of global debt. But I could not. Like everyone else, I discovered that I was not immune to the power of debt. All my life I could see the monsters, but today, the monsters finally saw me. Debts the size of dragons from the east and whales from the west, wielding politicians like weapons, overwhelmed me.\n\nAll of my life I have been free of debt. Now, when I look down at my hands, see shackles made out of monsters. I see the suffering of people in Venusian, Greece, and all of Africa.\n\nI struggle against my chains, this is not right. I had incurred no personal debts, the monsters should have no power over me. I stared hard at my shackles and noticed that they connected me to something, a long chain that lead out the door of my office and into the hallway. As I followed the chain, I felt like a fish being reeled in.\n\nThe chain lead me through the hallway and into the elevator. The elevator ascended before I could push any buttons. Two beefy security guards greeted me as the door opened. \"The Moderator has been expecting you. Follow us.\" A final set of ornate doors opened and I was blinded by light.\n\nAs my eyes adjusted, I saw an entire room from floor to ceiling covered in computer monitors sealed behind glass. Endless streams of numbers and statistics dizzily flowed from screen to screen in every direction. In the center of this chaos sat an old man in a white suit. The monsters flowed and undulated around him in shapes, colors, and sizes I had never seen before. Looking at the chain made out of monsters held in his hand leading to my shackles, I recognized that he was the one in control.\n\n\"Greetings Benadril, I am the Moderator. You have many questions but you remain irrecoverably human, ergo some of my answers you will understand and some you will not.\"\n\n\"Why am I here?\" asked Benadril.\n\n\"Because you have been banned.\" answered the Moderator."
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[WP] You have upside down cross tattoos, and pray to Satan every night. You also give to the poor, love your neighbor, and volunteer at the thrift store. When you die, God and the Devil argue over your soul for days, and ultimately settle for joint custody.
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"Rinse and Repeat...\n\nIt’s been such a crazy day. I died for starters and now my fate has been divided by the good and bad of my life. I guess you can say I’m lucky, both Luci and Godie wanted me and were able to be amicable about it. Lucifer hates it when I call her Luci, and Godie side eyes me when I yell her name across the room. I laugh, they laugh.\n\nIn my living life I prided myself on being equally good and satanic. So both Lucifer and the Goddess decided I deserved an afterlife that mirrored my head and my heart. \n\nThey sent me to a place in the deepest realm of infinite possibilities , the temperature was exactly perfect, the food perfect, the company was quite exquisite. The only thing that make this perfect hell torment is my days repeat over and over again. I will never have another day that is unique again. \n\n/r/mslove69 ",
"Let nobody tell you that the afterlife isn't a strange one. All my life I had lived for Lucifer, prayed to him, worshiped him, and followed all testaments he had set out, few that they were. I had adhered to the 11 Satanic Rules of the Earth strictly throughout my life and had imagined that I would one day take up residence alongside Lucifer in His Eternal Kingdom, being alongside Him during his punishment.\n\n \n\nI had taken burdens from those who cried out for help, as He commanded (#6) by volunteering when I could and by giving what I had to spare to the poor. I had never harmed anyone, especially children (#9) or animals (#10) and had only been unkind to anyone when they were unkind to me first (#3, #4, #11). I had not bothered anyone in my life with needless public praise nor had I burdened them with useless advice or butted into their private affairs to help unless asked first (#1, #8, #2). More importantly, I had never touched anyone in any way which they did not consent to (#5), especially sexually. In a word, I was the perfect satanist.\n\n \n\nAll of this, the way I had lived my life, had lead me to imagine that I would be quickly sent to Hell to live with my Lord. I was unable to even fathom that there would be contention over where I belonged, I had clearly never murdered any who disagreed with me over who was the true ruler as the bible demanded, I had never taken women or children for slaves as was demanded of true believers. I had done nothing \"christian\" save for that which overlapped with my own beloved Satanism. And yet my first steps to the afterlife were into a courtroom.\n\n \n\nOne would think that with all the lawyers sent to Hell, I would soon be with my beloved Lucifer. One would be wrong where lawyers were sent. The lying already more or less expelled them from Hell, but the constant desire for wealth and power apparently gained them exalted entrance to heaven as those are highly valued traits in god's empire. Even my own testimony as to where I would like to spend the afterlife didn't carry enough weight for my wishes to be granted. The jury was just too ignorant of the realities of the deities before them to accurately send me where I belonged. In truth, the only reason I even have any time in Hell is because the judge was lenient when the jury delivered their verdict. The crying may have helped with his leniency and Yaweh mooing Lucifer may have also helped, but in truth I owe that judge a debt. Twice a year, when I trade places between celestial realms, I make sure to come by his chambers with a freshly baked pie if I am coming from Hell or flowers if I am coming from heaven. It's the least I can do.\n\n \n\nI'd bake things going both directions but in heaven, all impure thoughts are removed so you're limited to just praising god and nothing else. It's ironic that heaven is seen as so great by those still on earth when anything they see it as great for doesn't exist. There's no sex - that's sin. No food - that leads to gluttony because you need no sustenance to survive here. No alcohol here because there needs to be no substitute for Jesus' blood as it flows freely here for mass and all other alcohol is sin. I could go on, but in reality all that heaven is is a place to be an eternal thought-slave praising yaweh. When, I get to return to my beloved Hell, I don't have the time to turn on the oven or prep a pie, so when my mind is returned to me I grab some flowers from along the boulevard and arrange them as nicely as I can. It's the least I can do for the being that saved me from eternal torture.",
"\"My son, I didn't wish for it to be this way.\" \n\n\"*Our* son... You know I love you very much.\" \n\n\"Yes. Our son. We both do. We both love you a whole heck of a lot.\" \n\n\"And we both... love... each other.\" \n\n\"I mean... sometimes love means you have to be far apart.\"\n\n\"Yeah...\"\n\n\"For Eternity...\"\n\n\"But that's okay. We *both* just want you to be happy.\"\n\n\"Yes. And you know you can talk to us. About anything.\"\n\n\"*Anything.*\"\n\n\"We've seen it all...\"\n\n\"Literally.\" \n\n\"And nothing you can say will shock us. We just want you to be open and we just want you to be happy.\"\n\n\"And we just want to be happy.\" \n\n\"Right.\" \n\n\"And that means... well...\" \n\n\"That means... neither of us can be with you all the time, you know.\"\n\n\"Right, I mean... we both need a little space *sometimes*, you know?\" \n\n\"But not all the time!\" \n\n\"Right, exactly, not all the time!\" \n\n\"But sometimes.\"\n\n\"Sometimes...\"\n\n\"We want to go out, or just have some time to ourselves.\" \n\n\"We have hobbies.\" \n\n\"We're seeing people.\"\n\n\"Oh, well...\"\n\n\"We are.\"\n\n\"Well, yeah, we're both seeing people.\" \n\n\"And we want to see you too! I mean...\"\n\n\"Well...\"\n\n\"Not like that.\"\n\n\"But yeah, we want to see you and spend time with you...\"\n\n\"Both of us...\"\n\n\"Yeah, yeah... both of us.\"\n\n\"So, uh... so that's what this is.\" \n\n\"Trust us, we both just *can't*...*wait*... to spend eternity with you, buddy.\"\n\n*\"Jesus fucking Christ...\"*",
"I opened my eyes and found myself sitting in a large meeting room. I was at the head of the long table, but there was no one else present. I couldn’t remember how I’d gotten into the room, and for some reason I didn’t see the door either. I scratched my arm absentmindedly. The tattoo of a mostly-forgotten archaic symbol was old now, but I always scratched at it when I was anxious.\n\nSuddenly, two men walked into the room. I looked behind them, expecting to see a door, but it seemed as if they had simply walked through the wall. One man was older with salt-and-pepper hair, and a smile that was infectious. I smiled back. His eyes were kind and gentle, and he seemed to radiate a strange white light. I’d never seen an aura before, but I guessed that’s what it would look like. \n\nThe second man was younger, with blonde hair and fierce blue eyes. He didn’t smile, but his features alone were dazzling. His aura was more golden, beautiful but it didn’t have that ‘pure’ quality of the other man. The two in their matching suits sat down on either side of me, and they each opened a file folder and took out a notebook. \n\n“Ms. Vivian Alderan, welcome to the afterlife.” Said the older man, looking at me. \n\nThe infectious smile I had been returning faltered. No preamble at all. Just straight to the point. There it was, I was dead. \n“Oh.” I said.\n\n“Yes,” said the blonde, leaning forward, “and you see, we’re at a bit of an impasse here. The old man and I have been arguing over your soul for quite some time now.”\n\nThat surprised me. “But I did everything according to Lord Lucifer’s will,” I said, “There shouldn’t be any question over my soul.”\n\nThe blonde shook his head while the older man smiled before saying, “Yes my dear, that may have been the case, but you were … a little different than his usual followers.”\n\n“Damn straight you were!” the blonde said angrily. “This has all been such a headache for me. You were CLEARLY one of my followers, you offered your prayers to me and you followed my ways, but for SOME reason, we’re sitting here debating your eternity.”\n\n“She was selfless!” said the older man. \n\n“But she followed ME!” said the blonde, his golden aura flaring.\n\nAh, now I understood. Lucifer wanted to take my soul, but God was here to make a bid for it too. I never thought God would want me actually. When I was little, I had my parents read me the bible, and attended church and Sunday School every week. I was attentive, and always asked questions. I was the perfect child, until I got older and started asking the difficult questions. \n\n“But isn’t Lucifer the one that gave us knowledge and truth?” I had asked my pastor one day. “Shouldn’t we be thanking him rather than condemning him?” Needless to say, my parents got a call about that one, and the pastor tried to assure me that Lucifer=bad and God=good. But that didn’t sit well with me. So when I was old enough, I moved out of my parent’s house and began doing more research. To me, Lucifer was like the unsung hero of humanity and I devoted my life to his teachings. I spread knowledge to any and all who would listen, encouraging free thinking just like he had.\n\n“I don’t think she should go with you.” God said simply, bringing my attention back to the matter at hand.\n\n“She made things more beautiful!” Lucifer said, standing up from his chair. “That’s what I’m all about! It’s why you – we – had our little falling out!” \n\n“Yeah,” I said suddenly, wanting the arguing to end so I could just get on with my eternity, “I gave everyone I found something to make them more beautiful, just like Lucifer did. Jewelry, flowers, clothing, gold…”\n\nGod nodded. “And were you paid for these things you gave? Did you expect anything in return?”\n\nI paused. “No…”\n\nThe man smiled smugly. “And that’s why she belongs with me.” \n\n“I can’t handle this,” Lucifer said, rubbing his temples, “I shouldn’t get headaches and yet I feel one coming on now. My followers are usually so much more selfish than this…”\n\n“But I did only what Lord Lucifer would have done!” I said. The guilt of having caused these two beings to fall to such conflict was a little disconcerting. I had only done what I thought was right, but apparently my ‘right’ was both salvation and damnation. \n\n“Alright!” Lucifer said, sitting back down in his chair in a huff, “We’ll split. You want her soul, I want her soul, we’ll share.”\n\nGod tapped his chin. “Like what Hades did with his wife?”\n\n“Yes,” said Lucifer, “though at least we don’t have to worry about upsetting the natural balance of the world with this.” \n\n“You won’t give her to me completely?” God asked, hope in his voice.\n\n“Not a chance.” Said Lucifer. He waved his hand and a form and pen appeared in his hand. He slid it across the table to me, and I read it over. It looked oddly like a custody form with three spaces for signatures.\n\n“You sign this,” Lucifer said, “and we’ll agree that I get you every other year. At least until the old man’s new Kingdom is finished, then we can revisit the agreement.”\n\nI looked between the two men. This was not at all what I had expected, but it didn’t seem as if I had a choice. I took up the pen and signed my name neatly. Lucifer took the form back, signed it, and passed it to God who did the same. God checked it one last time, nodded, and snapped his fingers. A man appeared at his side, dressed in a simple white shirt and khaki pants. \n\n“Mattatron,” God said, “keep a copy of this in Ms. Aldernon’s file and also send a copy over to Lucifer’s domain, would you?” \nMattatron nodded, glanced at Lucifer, and disappeared with the form.\n\nGod clapped his hands. “Well, now that that’s settled, let’s get on with your afterlife.”\n\nI nodded, scratching my tattoo again nervously. \n\n“As it’s an odd numbered year, you will begin your eternity in Lucifer’s domain.” God continued.\n\nLucifer smiled, and I felt a bit of relief. \n\n“Right, shall we be off then?” Lucifer handed out his hand to me, the golden aura radiating even stronger. I knew what the bible had said about Hell, I knew what I’d been taught and that I should have been afraid, but for some reason it didn’t bother me that I’d be spending half of eternity in the realm of damnation. I had been Lucifer’s follower, and damnation was Lucifer’s realm. Maybe it wouldn’t be all that bad.\n",
"They say death is a sweet release, well, for most I guess that is the case. For me, however, it is a little more complicated.\n\n\"How's it going\" said Satan.\n\"Good\" I said.\n\"Do anything interesting over the week?\" said Satan.\n\"Yeah, God took me to the Yankee game\" I said.\n\nSatan look at me befuddled, almost like he was unsure what to say. He gave a long sigh, and pulled over his 2006 Hyundai Sonata. \n\n\"Did he at least take you out to eat afterward\" said Satan.\n\"Yeah, we went to Bennigan's, it was great, I got ice cream and a cake...what's wrong?\" I said.\n\"I try to give you as good a life as possible, and all he has to do is take you to a Yankee game and Bennigan's and you're in love\" said Satan.\n\"No, it's not like that\" I said. \"I appreciate what you do too, it's just that God tries harder to please me.\"\n\nSatan's eyes widened after I said that, I knew immediately that I put my foot in my mouth, but I was unsure how to right this wrong.\n\n\"If you love him so much, than why don't you live with him full time?\" said Satan.\n\"I didn't mean it like that, I meant to say...look, God just tries really hard to impress me because he knows he has to compete with you\" I said.\n\"I don't want to fight with you, I think you're sweet, but remember that I only freak out because I care, and wish to punish you with eternal damnation\" said Satan.\n\"I know, and no matter what, you will always be my dark lord\" I said.\"\n\"Good, now remember when we get back to hell, I need you to clean up your flaming hole of despair and repair Lucy's brimstone laced tricycle\" said Satan.\n\"Do I really have to?\" I said.\n\"Yes, you do, as long as you live in my decrepit hellhole, you will play by my rules\" said Satan.\n\"Alright fine\" I said. \"At least God let's me ride the Chariot of Eternal Glory and sit next to Jesus at supper time.\"\n\"Oh, I see he has found someone new\" said Satan.\n\nHe then proceeded on the highway to hell for another forty minutes. It was a long ride, with little talk. I could honestly say it was some of the most tense back and forth I had in my life, except it was not my life, it was my afterlife, or something, whatever.\n\nI never thought being a child of duality would be this hard.",
"Most people are pretty sure about what they'll get in the afterlife: 72 virgins, a place in heaven singing with the angels, et cetera, et cetera. But me, I thrive on uncertainty. I wanted to find out if I could really cause a conundrum for God. So I got tattoos of upside-down crosses and started praying to Satan instead of God. But I was the perfect saint in every other respect. \n\nFinally, I died. I found myself in a dark, misty little area. The dark mist stretched out in all directions, as if I were in a cave. Abruptly, the darkness was broken by two lights. One was bright and white and just looked so *pure*. The other was red, and I thought I smelled sulfur coming from it. The lights got right down to it and started to argue. \n\n\"She prayed to me, not to you!\" Red Light boasted.\n\n\"And yet she did not do as you would have,\" White Light replied. And so on and so forth. I'll be honest here, I was really entertained by the argument. God and the Devil, arguing about me! This was better than my wildest expectations.\n\nBut eventually the arguing got old. Dead or no, I'm still human and I got bored just standing there.\n\n\"Oy! Can't you just share like nice little children?\" I burst out in exasperation.\n\n\"Nice little children, she says,\" the Devil remarked. \"I like this girl, she has sass.\"\n\n\"Of course you would,\" God (or was it Jesus?) replied. I didn't think God would take it upon Himself to argue with a being of lesser power. Or be sarcastic.\n\nIn the end, a deal was worked out. I would be like Persephone: six months in Heaven and six in Hell. Wonder how long it would last?"
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[WP] One day you stumble upon "True Manual", an outline of the true, intended uses of all objects. You find you use nothing correctly.
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"John screamed a beastly groan out of confused rage.\"Aaaaargghhh!!\" then fell back to his pillow from exhaustion. For what seemed like 45 minutes, John's only friend to answer his cries was the soft spoken EKG machine. No matter how hard he tried, John couldn't get his legs to move. Suddenly, the grip of loneliness and fear for the worst chilled his blood. \nJohn Dip woke from an unconscious slumber that night, more like a coma, to be medically correct. \"Hmm..shuuu?? John's memory attempted to ooze out of his oblivion as he observed his throbbing hands and feet, his movements feeling restricted like quick sand. \nTo John's right stood a nightstand, it presented a blue manual with gold trims, a glass of water, and one pill with the inscription: \"H.\" \nJohn opened the cover of the manual to find in bold Helvetica, the words, \"please take pill with plenty of water.\" John obeyed. He was able to read but had no recollection of his past, nor had the capability of forethought, he was purely in the moment. \nJohn flipped the page.\n\n\"The How To Manual\"\n\n\nGlass Cup: Wrap cup in cloth, apply force to object, collect shattered contents. Useful for shivs, lacing cocaine, make shift explosives.\n\n\nNight Stand: Remove legs, do not detach any protruding screws or nails.\n\n\n(Just as John read the next line in absolute confusion, he hurled onto the floor a goopy bile substance, barely missing his clothes within the line of fire.)\n\n\nVomit: the chemical reaction of digestive fluids and pill(H) will produce a strong adhesive. Dip the nightstand peg into substance and coat with sharp objects. The coat will solidify within 10 minutes of oxygen exposure.\n\n\nEKG Machine: Proceed to press switches (Arrow Left + Green) \n\n\n(John was beginning to feel comfortably numb and his actions portrayed highly suggestive to any outside influence, including directions of any form. He followed the steps without question.)\n\n\n*click (BOOM!)\nThe floor shook. Approximately a mile from outside his window a huge phantom of flames and thick smoke spewed from a building into the dark night. \n\n\n(John froze in terror, his eyes wide enough to rip at his crow's feet)\n\n\nJohn removed the bed sheets in an effort to get up and finally got his legs to move. He stumbled onto the cold hard floor. He stood at the window and noticed something rather peculiar at the street down below. A group of dark figures limping towards his building, they were definitely humans but moved in staggered steps and their arms swung and clawed in convulsive movements. The figures began to accelerate faster and faster towards the hospital entrance. The number of figures that emerged from the darkness began to reveal themselves at an alarming rate.\n\n\nJohn's heart began to pump like jagged pistons.\n\n\nHe ran back to the source that started this whole mess and found where he left off last in the ominous blue book.\n\n\nExit: Press the red switch on EKG to self detonate. \n\n\n(The loud crashing of objects and screams were closing in onto his room, becoming louder and more horrifying)\n\n\nJohn took a brief moment to think.\nHe stood in the middle of the room with an almost solemn peace of mind, and for a second he felt a comfortable silence. He grabbed his make shift spike bat and prepared for the door to burst open.",
"\"Wait, what? Are we supposed to drink out of toilets?\" he read with eyes wide open. \n\nFlipping the page he went on. \n\n\"The fork is used to mix atoms, hmm, the spoon is used to dig into gasses, what? Armchairs are weapons of mass murder, unexpected.\" he read out loud. \n\n\"Hey, could you be quiet?\" a voice said. \n\n\"No, this book is explaining life, and it is the real thing, not by a crazy man or something,\" he answered.\n\n\"That is the lamest excuse I ever heard man, read in your head I need to learn for my test,\" his colleague said\n\n\"Nah, I need to remember this shit, it's more important than anything,\" he said. \n\n\"I'm coming to beat your ass,\" the colleague answered. \n\nThe sound of steps is getting closer, the door opens\n\n\" Are you going to read in your head? Or should I beat you?\" the colleague said\n\nThe man reading the \"True Manual\" looks up at him\n\n\"Listen, dude, this book, explains the real way we are supposed to use everything and let me tell you, we use everything wrong, did you know that jeans are not items of clothing, and should be used to clean up houses,\" he says. \n\n\"That's crazy.\" the colleague says. \n\n\"No, man an old lady dressed in some dirty baggy clothes gave it to me, that's totally legit, she is probably some kind of shaman or god.\" the man with the True Manual said.\n\n\"Are you crazy? Do you even hear yourself? Are you stoned?\" the colleague kept coming with questions like those.\n\n\"Nah man, I swear on my mun this books is the shit,\" says the man with the manual.\n\n\"I'm too old for this shit.\" said the colleague.\n\nLater that day the man who bought the True Manual was arrested for possession of LSD. \n\n ",
"Slight deviation from the prompt, here goes:\n\n \n\nThe following are excerpts from *\"True Manual - A List Of Things And How They Should Be Used: Vol 1\"*, a 200-page hardcover picture book found in the suspect's gym locker. No author is listed and the book is not known to be published, or in publication.\n\n  \n\n\n\n**Cedar Wood Hangers**\n\n\n\nPicture: Photo of a cedar wood clothes hanger.\n\n\nHow We Use It: As a clothes hanger.\n\n\nHow It Should Be Used: Insect repellant.\n\n\nWhy: Cedar contains natural oils that repel insects.\n\n\n \n\n**Bubble Wrap**\n\n\n\nPicture: Photo of a roll of bubble wrap.\n\n\nHow We Use It: Protective wrap for fragile objects.\n\n\nHow Should It Be Used: Therapy treatment for mental conditions and stress.\n\n\nWhy: Popping bubble wrap provides a calming effect for fragile minds.\n\n\n \n\n**Hole Puncher**\n\n\n\nPicture: Photo of a hole puncher.\n\n\nHow We Use It: To punch holes in documents.\n\n\nHow It Should Be Used: To punch people. Hold like a brass knuckle.\n\n\nWhy: The shape of the item fits a fist and the material is hard enough to hurt.\n\n\n \n\n**Sunglasses**\n\n\nPicture: Photo of a man wearing a pair of sunglasses.\n\n\nHow We Use It: Sun protection and fashion.\n\n\nHow Should It Be Used: Lying and emotion concealment.\n\n\nWhy: Eye movement is a huge indicator in lying and emotion.\n\n\n \n\n**Maxi-pad**\n\n\nPicture: Photo of a packet of maxi-pads.\n\n\nHow We Use It: That time of the month.\n\n\nHow It Should Be Used: First aid for heavy bleeding and gunshot wounds.\n\n\nWhy: Maxi-pads and other similar products are designed to be sterile and blood-absorbant.\n\n\n \n\n**Hair Dryer**\n\n\nPicture: Photo of a hair dryer.\n\n\nHow We use It: To dry wet hair.\n\n\nHow It Should Be Used: A heat projecter with a multitude of uses, including but not limited to:\n\n* Thawing frost.\n* Reheating food.\n* Expand small bits of metal.\n* Removing wax.\n* Drying wet clothes.\n\n\n\nWhy: It was supposed to be called a 'hot air gun' until someone stole the blueprints and invented the portable hair dryer.\n\n\n \n\n**Fidget Spinners**\n\n\nPicture: Photo of multicoloured fidget spinners.\n\n\nHow We Use It: As a toy and therapy for certain mental conditions.\n\n\nHow It Should Be Used: Smelt down or incinerate.\n\n\nWhy: **Fuck fidget spinners.**\n\n\n \n\n**Treadmill**\n\n\n\nPicture: Photo of a treadmill.\n\n\nHow We Use It: For exercise.\n\n\nHow It Should Be Used: Torture and punishment.\n\n\nWhy: The banality and exhaustion of being forced to run on one is historically proven and not to be underestimated.\n\n\n \n\n**Vodka, Brandy or any distilled spirits**\n\n\nPicture: Photo of bar shelf with colourful alcohol bottles lined up.\n\n\nHow We Use It: Drunk on its own or mixed with cocktails.\n\n\nHow It Should Be Used: Alchemical ingredient for curative potions and ointments. For example, a simple ointment for repairing broken bones can be made below:\n\n \n\n[*This part is torn out. The sentence directly below the torn out portion reads: *Will only work if the bone marrow used matches the user's species and blood type.*]\n\n \n\nWhy: Aqua vitae is an important ingredient in alchemy. For more recipes that boost your sex life, purge bodily stenches, repair your liver and more, check out *First World Alchemy: Alcohol Solves Everything!*\n\n\n \n\n**Takeaway Cup Lids**\n\n\n\nPicture: Photo of a standard takeaway drink cup normally found in fast food restaurants. The lid is indicated with an arrow.\n\n\nHow We Use It: We don't.\n\n\nHow It Should Be Used: As a coaster to catch condensation. Fit the bottom of the cup into the grooves on the lid.\n\n\nWhy: It was designed to not only be used that way, but also as an easy way to stack the cups in storage.\n\n\n \n\n**Toilet Bowl**\n\n\n\nPicture: Picture of white porcelain toilet bowl. Tank lid is indicated with an arrow.\n\n\nHow We Use It: Never. We face away from the lid while sitting down.\n\n\nHow It Should Be Used: As a small table for reading material while sitting down facing it.\n\n\nWhy: It is easier to wipe your ass and easier to reach the flusher. Who likes the idea of having to stop reading, using one of your hands to wipe there, and then having said hand *touch* your book again? Why would you sit down facing away to take a shit, only to get up, turn around to see it floating in the toilet bowl in front of you and watch it get flushed down?",
"Title: The Meaning of Truth\n\nI looked at the book resting on the bedside table again. It had sat there as long as I could remember; well, as long as I'd had my current girlfriend, anyway. She had told me of how she'd found it somewhere and it had helped change her life, and how she hoped it would change mine. I'd put it nearby in sight, so as to have frequent reminder of this new priority to read that book. And for months--years now I suppose, it sat. \"True Manual\" I read sideways from his pillow for the thousandth time. I felt the usual resistance, but this time I thought of how I wanted to be better for my girlfriend and grabbed it before I could change his mind. Slowly taking a deep breath, I opened the book to a random page and began to read out load.\n\n\"A rose is for surprising people occasionally in order to share your appreciation of them and wish for their joy.\" I thought about that. I'd always gotten her anywhere between a single rose to a dozen on her birthday and our anniversary, and one time in particular when we'd had an argument, but never as a surprise just because. Maybe I've been doing it wrong all these years, I thought, as I opened up to a different page.\n\nPeople are each their own individual person, from a unique background, perspective, culture, philosophy, medical history, mental development, and purpose in life. They are to be respected and their opinions given value, because they are living their own life with what makes sense to them. Their trust is to be earned through actions, not words or familiar characteristics to you. Lastly, for any grievances toward yourself or others: it is for the best to find it in your heart to accept an irrevocable event in the past, and to forgive them if redemption is what they truly seek.\n\n\nI found another entry and read: \"A car is for transporting people and cargo patiently and with purposeful focus, while maintaining a constant acceptance of surroundings. At no time besides serious emergencies must there be any hurry or risk-taking, so foresight is required to leave early in proportion to the importance of leaving on time. Letting frustrations of other's poor driving habits is also recommended to avoid focusing on irrelevancies to what we control. \n Note: Letting go of frustrations is highly recommended for practically all situations.\" I considered this for a moment against my recent history of mildly aggressive driving to get to work on time due to my difficulty leaving early enough. I could work on that, I thought.\n\nI found another entry. \"Meditation is the focused action of being in complete control of ones mind, mentally reaching into the unknown truth. See: Lucid dreaming, which is similar except with sensory imaginations unbound.\" As I flipped more pages, I thought of how I'd used meditation (or at least that's what I'd called it) to fall asleep, and considered that a bit of mental self-discipline could have far reaching benefits. I cleared my throat and moved on.\n\"Lucid dreaming- An activity requiring great focus which places the creator in complete control or lack thereof in a universe with any conceivable properties and life forms. It can be utilized in many purposes, primarily including the following:\n\nA simulator, in which to recreate a scenario as close as conceptually possible to test possible unknown past or future events.\n\nA laboratory for inspiring, testing and improving upon ideas.\n\nA forum for any assortment of characters, in which to compare and contrast theories in search of the truth.\n\nSee truth, as the ultimate goal of philosophical argument.\"\n\nThat stuck me as odd. So far, I'd been reading about actual objects and activities. How could this book claim to know the use for truth? How does one even find truth, or why? Alright, take your best shot, ink on paper, wow me.\n\nI found the entry quickly: \"Truth is what makes the most sense to each individual in a vast, chaotic universe of infinite points on a single continuum where everyone and everything is connected to everything else, and yet separate from each other. For a single event, multiple truths may be held from different perspectives, each of which may be incongruent but remain valid. To maintain your unique perspective, knowing that you know nothing but perceive your own special world in a uniquely personal manner. Truth is for seeking and never finding, as if surfing on a crest of a wave moving yet unmoving, always both rising and falling, sinking yet floating, mind open to a vast ever-changing horizon.\"\n\n\nI put the book down, with a mind full of wonder and a heart bursting with love. Rising from the couch, I had an idea of someone who could use some wonder and love in her life. At a steady pace I walked away from the couch, intent on doing everything I'd always wanted.\n\n\n\n(mostly unedited, to be continued...)",
"Jacob had always had a taste for pie. He judged holidays exclusively on their potential pie quotient. Easter didn’t really suit him. Christmas was hit or miss. Thanksgiving was always a winner. Outside of holidays, roadside diners were pretty much the only place Jacob felt comfortable indulging. No one judged you for ordering pie in a diner. Over the years, he had found a modest degree of online fame reviewing these diners. Modest might be overstating things. \n\nHe pulled up to Checkers Diner. There was nothing special about the place. The only thing that might be described as notable about the joint was how generic it was. Jacob wasn’t bothered by the lack of décor beyond the neon sign behind the counter exclaiming “Budweiser on Tap”. He was downright excited. The pie that he was going to eat today would form the subject-matter of his thousandth review. \n\nThe diner was completely empty, but felt different than any other that he had visited. There was a sort of strange sense of electrical activity in the air. Almost as if a lightning storm had just passed or was about to arrive. Jacob sat down at one of the stools in front of the counter. The cracked leather on the bar stool made this more uncomfortable than he had anticipated. He had to remind himself that he was here for the pie, not for plush seating.\n \nThe service was about as good as the décor. A cherry pie with three slices missing sat in a cake display on the counter. Jacob picked up the menu sitting next to the display while he waited for waitress to show up. At this type of place, he expected he would have no more than two varieties of pie to choose from. The menu had only one entry: \n\n*ALL USE DESCRIPTIONS MUST BE CONSISTENT WITH MASTER OVERLAY*\n\n**[WORLD_NAME == “EARTH”//OBJECT_NAME == “CHERRY PIE”//OWNER == “ALL”]**\n\nCHERRY PIE MAY BE USED TO TRANSFER CONSCIOUSNESS BETWEEN SIMULANTS. SIMULATED APPEARANCE IS OF A CIRCULAR DISC MADE OF DOUGH AND FILLED WITH JELLY.\n\nLAST EDITED: 01/1643 BY USER: 0443\n\nJacob was perplexed. He put the menu down to find that the waitress had suddenly appeared while he had been studying the menu. She looked stern, but was silent. She looked Jacob over. This gave Jacob a sudden and startling feeling of unease. He glanced down at the menu to find that the text had somehow changed:\n\n*ALL USE DESCRIPTIONS MUST BE CONSISTENT WITH MASTER OVERLAY*\n\n**[WORLD_NAME == “EARTH”//OBJECT_NAME == “GLASSES”//OWNER == “ADMIN”]**\n\nGLASSES MAY BE USED TO EVALUATE SIMULANTS SENSE OF SELF-AWARNESS. SIMULATED APPEARANCE IS OF A TWO CIRCULAR GLASS DISCS JOINED IN FRAME.\n\nLAST EDITED: 08/1268 BY USER: 0039\n\nJacob looked back up at the waitress. She did not move or speak. Jacob’s unease had now transformed into a sense of terror. He got up saying nothing back to the waitress and quickly left the diner to get back to his car. He threw the menu down on the passenger seat and put the keys in the ignition without taking his eyes off the waitress. She continued to stare at him through the glass windows at the front of the diner. While Jacob stared at the waitress, the text on the menu changed once more: \n \n*ALL USE DESCRIPTIONS MUST BE CONSISTENT WITH MASTER OVERLAY*\n \n**[WORLD_NAME == “EARTH”//OBJECT_NAME == “CAR”//OWNER == “JACOB ALRED”]**\n\nOPERATION OF AUTOMOBILE RESULTS IN SIMULANT MEMORY DELETION. SIMULATED APPEARANCE IS OF A MECHANICAL APPARATUS WITH WHEELS.\n\nLAST EDITED: JUST NOW BY USER: ADMIN\n\nHe turned the key and started the car. \n\nJacob pulled up to Checkers Diner. He was excited. The pie that he would eat today would form the subject-matter of his thousandth review. He walked in and was greeted by a waitress who handed him a menu. It had a single variety: Cherry Pie – $2.99. It was surprisingly delicious. \n\n",
"**Title: You Found The Glitch** \n\n“They always said I looked just like him, wish I had a photograph. Some type of ‘True Manual’ eh? I smell bullshit,” said Jeff, as he set down the box of hand-me-downs from his great grandfather in a corner with cobwebs, and kept the old, worn out manual in his hands. \n\nHe went over to the light bulb flickering every so often, and had a flip through. \n\n“Who would ever do *that* with a bottle of Axe body spray? Why the fuck would somebody even write that back in the 1800’s, must have been a different company,” said Jeff, as he thumbed through a manual about all the ‘True ways’ to use different products and common objects around the house. He settled on a page with obsidian rocks. “Well of *course* you can use it for killing weird ice creatures too, that’s just common knowledge at this point. So what if I just keep mine in a collection with other rocks.” \n\nJeff set down his beer and belched a bit, as he checked out a few uses he never used but knew were applicable. \n\n“Yeah yeah, diamonds can be knives too I know. Not just rings, whatever,” said Jeff, as he reached the doorway of the cellar, and pulled another cord to turn on a light that was a little brighter over there. He flipped through a few more things which could have been better defined as ‘life hacks’ than truer applications for different products and objects, when suddenly he couldn’t help but shake his head and check the time on his watch. He shut his eyes. He checked the time again. Same time. Quick reality check. \n\nThe time always changed when he was dreaming. \n\n“That’s uh,” said Jeff, as he went and grabbed his laptop from a coffee table upstairs. He checked the yellowed manual again, and checked his laptop again. Same dimensions, same MacBook. “That’s weird.” \n\nJeff read the next step, and went to get some spare jumper cables from his garage. He read through the manual with one hand as he carried the cables, then went back into the living room to unplug his router.\n\n“That’s some,” said Jeff, as he went to grab an older laptop from his basement. They were the same brand and everything. “That’s some weirdly specific stuff that I just so coincidentally happen to have.” \n\nJeff ran his hands through his strangely chaotically long hair, and wandered over to his refrigerator to pull off a magnet from his seventh birthday that he always kept since then, since his father told him it was so special to their family. He only ever used it for pinning up his daughter’s cat drawings. He looked in the manual. \n\nSame horseshoe magnet, with initials engraved on it. \n\n“Oooookay,” said Jeff, as he went and got into his rolling chair. Literally the exact same rolling chair from the manual. He set up the apparatus, as he saw it in the description. He grabbed his great grandfather’s old welding helmet, that strangely had two notches at the sides, and a weird foam on the inside that seemed to not just fit out around your head but *feel* around your head, like it was alive. \n\nJeff set the laptops at opposite ends, fully charged. He brought the jumper cables, and connected them to the helmet. He scratched his head as he set about uploading a full downloadable version of Wikipedia to his laptop, and connecting a cable from his router to a strange, hidden spot on the welding helmet that he never saw before he had instructions to go see it. \n\nHe flipped to the next page, and made sure he had a vanilla and strawberry protein shake many hours before attempting to ingest the salvia that was always growing in their backyard. \n\n“Place a counterweight over *here*,” said Jeff, biting his tongue as he tried to get the placement of the magnet and counterweight just right. He had it set up on a line of floss, that was set to the base of the spinning chair. He worked for another three hours, after he gathered all the supplies, and set everything in its proper place. \n\n“Anddd *there*,” said Jeff, and next thing he knew.. \n\nNext thing he knew, he didn’t know what the fuck he was looking at. Its shape was just altogether unpleasant to the eye, and he wasn’t quite sure why but he was about to go ahead and try it out. \n\n“Proof there’s no reality,” said Jeff to himself, as he made a sort of ‘pffft’ noise with his lips. Like he really wanted to not believe it. But somehow he was still getting ready to press enter on his laptop. “Download all the knowledge of humanity, backup my actual consciousness on my old laptop since I don’t need too much storage for my simple mind *pffffffft*.” \n\nJeff heard a screeching of tires outside, and then the frantic jostling of keys outside the garage. He heard the noise of his garage door lifting up, and was surprised just how harsh the sunlight was on his eyes. He’d been inside in the dim lighting for a while making sure everything was set up like the manual suggested. \n\n“Jeff?” said a disturbingly familiar face. \n\n“Uhhh,” said Jeff, starting to shake and sweat. \n\n“Jeff,” said the strangely familiar man, taking a step forward. “Don’t press it Jeff.” \n\n“Uhhh okay,” said Jeff. He shook his head, and checked the time again. He blinked some, and saw it was the same time. “OOOOOkay okay okay okay, what the fuck is going on.”\n\n“Jeff just don’t press it all right?” said the man, staring up at the ceiling like he was worried somebody might be watching them. “They won’t do anything so long as you don’t press it, so don’t all right there? I mean like,” He even started to laugh some. Jeff couldn’t believe how much he looked like him. “Yeah I mean that whole thing was like *bullshit,* Jeff, I set that up to prank people on April Fool’s Day back in my time. Please don’t turn that on Jeff.” \n\nJeff stared at the ghost of a man standing in front of him, and pressed a shaking hand over to the enter key on his MacBook. \n\n“Ahhh fuck,” said other Jeff, as the magnet started to spin. \n\n/r/Oscar_Relentos"
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[WP] This Friday the 13th the Euromillions are making 13 'lucky' players around Europe millionaire. Each of these winner will a unique curse follow them after they pick up their prize. These are their stories.
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"Daniel had always had issues with strength and his body. This was primarily due to the fact that his father and both of his brothers were exceptionally large and burly rugby stars (well, his father is a successful solicitor but that's not the point) and yet he himself had suffered a bout of illnesses since he was young. In fact, throughout the entirety of his high school life he was exempt from PE classes and forced to sit in the library as the teachers were too afraid that he may end up hurting himself as a result.\n\nOn Friday the 13th of October, 2017 Daniel will walk to the newsagents of his small Welsh village and spend £2.50 on a single lucky dip ticket to enter the Euromillions jackpot, which currently sits at £27 million pounds. He won't win that, but the raffle which is also part of the ticket, a guarantee of a million pounds to thirteen winners, will award him a million pounds.\n\nFor the most part, he will spend the money to build a small house just outside the village so he will no longer have to live with his widowed father. The old man won't be particularly happy about this due mainly to Daniel's frailty but allows him to continue anyway. He will also pay whatever debts he currently has and will surprisingly have about seven-hundred and fifty-thousand pounds left.\n\nIt is with this that he sets up a fund to try and help build his body up a little. He hires an old associate to act as a personal trainer and help him learn the exercises, set up a routine and diet plan... the usual. Everyone he knows, from his family to some people he was affable from school with, was amazed to see the difference in both his frame and his confidence. When his brothers returned home they swore he had grown by an inch or two let alone the surprising amount of weight he had piled upon.\n\nBy March Daniel was now of similar build to his father, equal height as well, which was surprising as it meant that he had grown a foot and a half and piled on about three hundred pounds. At this point he is suspicious that his trainer has been giving him steroids so he submits himself to a battery of tests which prove negative all across the board.\n\nBy April he realizes something is terribly wrong when he hears reports of the other winners of that draw suffering horrific mutations. A woman who became a vampire in Spain and had to be staked after she fed on several terminal patients in a hospital, a man in France who became a living blob of slime or even the Croatian who had developed a fully functioning set of both male *and* female sexual organs and attempted to impregnate himself, developing into full-blown dementia in having his own child despite having several failed pregnancies already. It was about this time his skin tore open and he saw scales emerging from underneath.\n\nThroughout the Summer, it became obvious that he was also cursed, forced into living in a barn his father had acquired through numerous favors. He was still of human intellect, far smarter than even before really, but was definitely no longer human. Each day a truck would be delivered with slaughtered sheep, skinned and organs removed and he would chew them up whole for a bit before swallowing. The last of his winnings were soon used up in feeding himself to the point where no-one was certain if he could support himself this way without going on a rampage.\n\nSurprisingly for Daniel, his story has a happy ending, albeit bittersweet. See, it's impossible for one to hide a dragon the size of a Boeing 747 within a barn. In fact, it collapsed midway though August. But he was given a unique proposition. So, around the end of October 2018 Daniel officially moved into the National Park of Snowdonia, nesting within the mountains and flying about for the park's visitors.\n\nOf course, this isn't where he remains. He does frequently travel with his brothers as the Welsh rugby team's official mascot."
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[WP] In the last 300 years, the line between human and machine has grown so blurry as to be effectively indistinguishable. This proves a nasty shock for the elves and other fantasy creatures that used to make a hobby of tormenting us.
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"I sip my coffee. It’s pretty good today, seeing as Greg is working; he’s good at the job. On days like this, Healing Tonic is a pristine example of how to mix cultures together in a perfect way. I’ve always loved coffee more than potions anyway. But I can’t even focus on my latte. \n\nThrough the glass doorways, a human enters the shop. I want to punch him in the face already. He’s got an oversized grey shirt on with big text that reads: Elves Should Stay On The Shelf. Sadly, I’m not going to get up. The man’s right arm is almost entirely augmented. If I tackled him he’d tear me in half. \n\nBehind him he dragged several other human friends, all of whom were laughing and chatting amongst themselves, up to the register. The whole posse had that bearded hipster vibe about them. I hate that. Reaching up, I find myself pulling my beanie down over my pointed ears a bit more, acutely aware of my elfness. \n\nMaybe someday things will change. Maybe shirts like that will become illegal. I take another sip. Damn did Greg out do himself. Usually Orcs make shittier coffee, but not this guy. If only the rest of us could all live in harmony. But who am I kidding, some humans still hate variations of their own kind. All I know, is that is this fool does say anything to me: I’m gonna need another cup of coffee.",
"Lima'Sam stalked her prey. It was a transcendent honor to be the first Elf back in the lands of Man from the Faerie realm. Her clan was one of fierce, immortal hunters. They preyed on beasts and beings from a million dimensions, but Man had always been the most sought after. \nAt last, after centuries, they were allowed to return to Earth. Some sorcerer had struck a bargain that safeguarded Men against their dimensional excursions. \nAlas, their time was at an end. Once again, their skins shall hang from walls as tapestries, their babies shall be drowned in wells and distilled, and their bones shall be carved into the most efficacious talismans all the Wilds ever knew. Indeed, Lima'Sam's own bow had the bone fragments of two of Arthur's descendents. This empowered it with a sharp, fracturing light that would sear flesh and bone, and send blood to boiling before its touch. She couldn't wait to savor the screams of her first blooding.\nAlas, whatever blasted hellscape she found herself in held few humans. She could smell a Radiance in the air - and much of the desert around her was covered in glass. What had the Men done to themselves?\nShe searched for hours. Days. It was difficult to keep track of time when eons might as well be grains of sand within her mind. But at last, her lifesense pulsated in her mind. A living being with a soul large enough to entice her had come into her radius.\nLike a faerie in flight, she ran towards it. The ground flew beneath her as her limbs effortlessly conducted her across such mundane terrain. She had hunted in realms who's floors were that of fire, and where gravity could crush even iron. Her magics and her divine body had sufficed. Here? It was utterly effortless. This mundane, tiny corner of creation offered as much resistance to her as if she were an arrow piercing air.\nAt last, her eyes picked out a human through some rubble. A toppled building - a contorted cage of stone and steel. There was something different about this human. Most of its body was covered in metal, or perhaps a synthetic substance of their own making.\nThe thrill of the hunt took over her, and she darted a thin tongue over her teeth in an expression of anticipation as she knocked her bow - the string thrumming with power and skill combined.\nShe loosed, and the arrow took off. It was a thing of crystalline wonder, multidimensional magic taking over as it cut through the feeble molecules in the air and towards her victim's heart.\nThe human reacted. It began to blur with a magic not unlike Lima'Sam's own. Its body surged and rolled out of the way, with a grace unbecoming of its ape-like frame.\nLima screamed and drew her next arrow, pulling it back and loosing. The human looked towards her - its glowing eyes flickering towards the arrow. \nThis human was no ape. This human moved with the speed of an Elf!\nIt rolled under the arrow and approached her - strange, grotesque blades sliding out from beneath its forearms. She loosed another arrow, and again, it dodged. \nGrowling, enraged and confused, she drew five arrows at once, and with a blurring, fluid motion, she let them loose. She willed them all to depart in different directions, before converging upon the Human's skull. It would be a sad waste, but alas, were Lima'Sam to be wounded by an Ape, she would be outcasted from her clan. It was not a risk she could take.\nThe human jumped. The arrows converged, following. Some kind of energy radiated from it, and dissolved the arrows. The human landed effortlessly within a few feet from her.\nSnarling - such a base action - she Lima'Sam dropped her bow and drew her blade. A thing of peerless beauty - an edge so sharp it could cleave even adamantium in twane. Its scabbard had to have a space-defying enchantment on it to hold the edge itself in a space beyond space lest it simply drop from the scabbard - its own weight enough to supply force to cut through it.\nThe human raised an arm and let loose some kind of attack. A projectile of some sort of alloy clanged against her blade as she cut it in such a way to deflect behind her. Alas, it was simply a ruse. The human slid - being propelled by some kind of flame on its back and calves - and rose its other arm.\nLima'Sam cried out in an unknowable tongue, and dashed forward, blade coming down to strike the human's neck. Again, it ducked past it and brought a metal fist to bear - a blade deploying from the forearm right as it made contact. \nLima'Sam had never been injured on a hunt before. She had never even seen her own blood. That radiant, pearlescent blood spurted from her now as she recoiled, having instinctively dodged backwards in a twisting jump.\nThe human kept pace. It rose its arm again as she dodged, and let loose another pellet. It impacted onto her with a thud. \nShe -an elf. An immortal. A being who's breaths were counted in numbers beyond recknoning and who's bodily control was over each molecule in her muscles, fell on the ground. She wept as the human approached her, and she realized.\nIt was flesh woven with steel. Inspiration and generations of hard work researching the secrets of the universe had borne fruit more plentiful than the elves had reckoned possible.. This human was no human any longer. It was a machine. \nHer people had spent trillions of years evolving their bodies and craft through careful breeding to achieve beings such as her.\nThe humans had done it in 300 years by using nothing but their own minds and materials available to them on their little ball of dirt.\nHow was such a thing possible? \nLima'Sam died underneath the machine's boot, despairing for what had been unleashed upon the universe by their foolish bargain. ",
"The old ways are dying.\n\nI remember when the world was very different. Instead of cold steel and glass, it was warm wood and leaves. Instead of manufactured existence, there was natural life imbued with the sacred energies of our ancestors. It was a time of nature and of magic. Magnificent beasts roamed the lands and the skies, with us as their masters.\n\nThere were others. Sometimes we fought, often we simply minded each other's own business. The burrowed people had dominion over the network of tunnels of great subterranea. We woodland folk tended the woods and the forests. When man first came they were nomads. They travelled the open fields, hunting and stopping for shelter as they went. It was a simple life for us all.\n\nNo-one, perhaps not even those nomads themselves, would have even dreamed of things turning out the way they have. Admittedly we are perhaps more guilty than them.\n\nOur magic mystified man. As did our beasts. We were worshipped as Gods, feared as Demons. They offered us their food, their young...anything to appease us. And perhaps we grew spoiled on this. We pushed them to always fear us. We would send a beast after one camp. We would break their tools or burn away their food so they came to us for forgiveness and help.\n\nBut then man found a new God. One made of metal. One powered by lightning. One who thinks in binary language. We laughed at first. These toys could never topple the old ways! Our magic is too ancient, too strong to even be challenged.\n\nBut it learned. It evolved. And man alongside it.\n\nMan changed our world. They drove out the burrowed people to feed their new God precious metals and fuel. They destroyed our forests to harvest the wood, make new land for their bigger settlements. Beast kind were hunted to extinction with weapons so different they had no chance to survive.\n\nAnd now we are the last few left. Huddled together in one of the last remnants of the old world. I can still feel our ancestors, no matter how faint they are still with us. This new world of man will continue to encroach on us. \n\nIt won't be long until all of it, and all of us, are gone.",
"The sound of footsteps overhead.\n\nHeel, toe. Heel, toe. \n\nEchoing down through the wooden boards, rhythmically, drumming, then stopping all at once like a summer rain shower. \n\nThe troll rubs his hands together. \n\n“Perfect,” he says, then coughs. It’s been days since he’s spoken out loud. His voice is thin and raspy like a wheel in need of oiling. \n\nStanding up is no easy chore. His beer belly has grown bulbous and immense, a hyper-inflated balloon stuck to his abdomen. He huffs and heaves himself onto his feet, ankles cracking in the process. A quick glance in the mirror, a smoothing-over of the eyebrows with a spit-clicked finger, and the troll is on his way.\n\nAs he clambers out of his grotto and up the muddy slope, he whistles to himself softly. It feels good to be getting out of the house for once. Unemployment had been hard on him. He refers to it as “retirement”, but the other mystical creatures in the forest know that he doesn’t believe his own words.\n\nThe change had started a couple hundred years earlier. The troll remembers it well. One morning, the footsteps didn’t stop when they crossed the bridge above his grotto. He had leapt up from the shadows, ready to intimidate the trespasser into fear and shame. Sometimes the non-payers would piss themselves in their terror. The troll liked that. It was the closest thing he received to recognition for his efforts. That, and the toll, of course.\n\nWhen he had jumped onto the bridge, however, he didn’t growl, scream, or threaten. He had stood dumbfounded, unsure what to make of the silvery creature standing in front of him. The thing looked human, it was true, but there was something… off. Something not right. Its eyes didn’t grow wide. It had no eyebrows to speak of, no nose, either. Its head was square instead of melon-shaped and its entire body glimmered in the morning sun like water in the light. \n\nAfter a few moments of staring at one another, the troll professionally explained his toll policy. Three grommits to pass. If you don’t mind. The creature had simply made a long beeping sound and continued past the troll like he wasn’t even there, leaving him alone and, for the first time in his life, a little nervous. \n\nOver the years, the troll learned to differentiate between the various types of footsteps that fell on his roof. Heavy and not stopping? Automaton. Light, fearful, and hesitant? Absolutely human. But soon even this identification grew difficult. Heavy, yet fearful and hesitant? Could be a human-like machine. Light, yet not stopping? Most like a prosthetically enhanced human. The latter was preferable, as they still paid the tolls, but it wasn’t easy like it was in millennia past. The new race was aggressive, paid their toll begrudgingly, and spit behind them after crossing the bridge. \n\n“No respect,” the trolls mutters at the dredging-up of the memory. “No respect.”\n\nBy now, the troll has made the final climb, past the moss-covered stones that have been his only constant since taking up this profession nearly 3,000 years ago. He pets his favorite one fondly as he passes by, digging the claws of his other hand in the smelly, swampy earth and pulling himself up to eye-level with the bridge.\n\nWhat he sees makes him smile. He licks his lips in anticipation, the old adrenaline rushing back through his limbs. Bending his knees, he assumes the familiar position, then leaps magnificently onto the bridge. \n\n“Raaaawwwwrrr!” he roars, letting his toxic breath waft down the bridge toward his victim.\n\nShe stares back at him blankly, blinking slowly in the morning sun. She is smaller then him, not quite a child, yet definitely not an adult. Stuck somewhere in between innocence and self-reliance. After taking in the sight of him, she waves. \n\n“Hi,” she says. \n\nThe troll is baffled. It can’t be a human, as it is not afraid of him. Yet it shows no signs of automation. The thing even has eyelids, which she flaunts again and again in a slow, measured blink. \n\nThe troll clears his throat and tries roaring again, with much the same reaction from the thing as before.\n\n“Don’t you want a toll or something?” she asks. The rays of the sun flash in winks through the thin material of her dress. Her feet are bare, those ugly little toes pressing softly into the troll’s bridge. He always hated toes.\n\nThe troll clears his throat.\n\n“I am the master of this bridge!” The old words feel good in his mouth. He wraps his tongue around them, lets them fall out powerfully yet nonchalantly. For extra effect, he raises his scaly hands above his head to appear larger.\n\n“I’m Cindy,” the thing says. \n\n“I am the master of this bridge!” he tries again. “To pass safely, I demand a levy! A toll! Or I will have your head for supper!” He licks his lips grotesquely, a move that has won him many reactions through the years. \n\n“How much is it?” \n\n“Three grommits!” As he says it, the troll feels a doubt rise up. Three grommits didn’t go very far these days. Barely got you a beer at the forest pub. \n\n“Six grommits!” he corrects himself. \n\nThe creature digs through a small leather satchel hanging at her side. Soft blonde hair falls in waves around her freckled skin as she looks down.\n\n“Do you have change for a ten, perhaps?”\n\n“NO! The troll does not give change!”\n\n“That’s okay, you can just take the ten-note, then.”\n\nShe extends the money toward him. For a moment, the troll considers smacking it out of her hand. But ten grommits would pay for at least enough drinks to drown the memory of this experience, so he snatches the money and shoves it in the back pocket of his pants. \n\n“Creature, are you man or machine?” His tone softens against his will. He doesn’t want to engage with the thing any longer, but his curiosity is too strong. What is it with which he is confronted?\n\nThe thing considers the question for a moment before shrugging.\n\n“Neither, I guess.”\n\nShe attempts to pass by, brushing him gently as she walks. Frustrated, the troll leaps in front of her again, blocking her path into the woods.\n\n“Do you need another toll, sir? I really must be getting onto my grandmother’s house. They’re servicing her titanium hip today and I wouldn’t want her to be alone for the procedure.”\n\nPlussed, the troll steps aside and observes her as she continues into the woods. Before she rounds the first bend and leaves his sight, he calls out to her,\n\n“Why do you not fear me, child?”\n\nShe considers the question, then takes a few steps back toward him to remove the necessity of yelling. \n\n“My grandmother has told me the stories, stories of humans without mechanized prosthetics, of automata without human brains. We’ve seen the earth open up and give up all its mysteries to science and reason. And today, I have seen a troll, which ‘til now I’ve only heard tales of. With no questions left, with no more dark corners in which to hide our doubts and fears, who can be afraid of anything, really?”\n\nWith that, the girl turns and moves confidently through the woods. The troll watches her until she leaves his sight then, sighing, returns to his grotto, his mud-chair, and his permanent retirement. \n",
"300 years. It took us 300 years till we found a way to strike back.\n\nIn the year 2021 earth experienced a rapid increase in natural disasters. Only that they weren't that natural at all. Scientists soon found out that a foreign power was interfering with our planet. And the power wasn't from earth.\n\nFor the next 3 centuries life on earth became harder every day. We had to adapt to our new hostile home and those who couldn't were wiped out.\n\nAnd now we opened a gate to their world.\n\nWe immediately mustered an army to invade their world. But before that me and my team was send envoy to find out what we would be dealing with.\n\nAnd we never actually expected to see elves, dwarfes orcs and all the other filthy fantasy creatures. And they \"captured\" us and took all our weapons away before leading us to the elf queen. Probably the leader of this unholy alliance.\n\nWe entered their palace and were speechless for a moent. Luxury where ever you looked. All the things on earth that has become rare were displayed here like it was nothing special. Clean floors with not even a spec of dust, furniture made completely of natural wood and living natural animals of all sizes and shapes.\n\nThe elf queen was sitting on her high throne completely made out of gold and jewels. Her 2 daughters were on her side and the throneroom was filled with her personal guards and ambassadors from the other races.\n\n\"It looks like the underlings finally found a way to our world. Now what could be the reason of your presence defiling these holy grounds?\"\n\n\"Well, frist of all I would like to introduc..\"\n\nThe elf queen cut me off.\n\n\"I know who you are, general Steiner. My spies have been eavesdropping on you the moment you entered our world. Now stop with the formalities and don't even dare to waste our time. I'am certain you want to beg us for mercy and offer your subjugation.\"\n\n\"No your majesty, not quite. First of all I want to know why you have been tormenting us for the last 300 years.\"\n\nShe smiled.\n\n\"So the little pest wants to know why we are toying with him and his worthless race. It's easy. Our mages need to practice their arts. And what better way to try out new spells than on a world that has no magic and thus can't fight back? Your presence here with no army to back you up is proof enough that you can't.\"\n\n\"So you deny our right to live in peace and dignity?\"\n\n\"Yes, you don't deserve to live exept as slaves for better races.\"\n\n\"In this case we don't see any reason to show you lenience. You know, in our world we have something called the Geneva convention, A treaty which ensures that even our enemies are treated with respect and dignity. But since you deny us both, we won't be showing you any mercy.\"\n\nThe queen scoffed.\n\n\"You really think you are in a position to demand such things? In any case, you have wasted enough of our time. Captain, execute them.\"\n\nI grinned.\n\nThe captain rammed his sword in my chest. Only for the blade to be stucked in after not even the complete tip was in my body.\n\n\"What is this??? Have you discovered magic???\"\n\n\"Nope, it's called adaptive sub-dermal armor. And its our turn now.\"\n\nI grabbed the throat of the captain with my right arm and crushed his neack with ease, while pulling out the sword. The present guards and ambassadors looked with horror when my wounds started closing.\n\nBut we didn't give a shit. I transformed my left arm into a automatic shotgun and began to spray death in shape of thousands of tungsten flechettes on them. My 3 fellow soldiers did the same. \n\nKowalski released a swarm of nanites, combusting when touchin an enemy. Sanchez dashed to the guards and slaughtered them with his hardened carbon blades in his arms, while Erikson had his fun with just ripping them apart alive.\n\nAfter only 5,29 seconds only the queen, her 2 daughters and 5 of her 121 guards were left standing.\n\n\"Get the queen to safety!\"\n\n4 of them blocked the path while the remaining one led them upstairs.\n\nI sighed.\n\n\"Erikson, just do you thing will ya?\"\n\n\"Yes Chef!\"\n\nHe just casually walked to one of them. The guard lifted his sword.\n\nAnd Erikson just ripped out his spine still with the skull of the elf attached before he could even drop the blade. Erikson then proceeded to beat the remaining guards to death with the spine.\n\nHappens if each one of your arms has at least 1300 HP.\n\nWe proceeded upstairs after Kowalski got our guns back from a frightened servant. Kowalski marked him as his property by buring a mark on his forehead with his thumb.\n\nThe remaining guard alarmed the soldiers upstairs and they closed the massive door to the royal bedchambers.\n\nWe walked up to the door while Sanchez and Erikson trained their smashing and cutting skills on those unfortunate ones who didnt made it trough the door.\n\n\"What do you guys think? Is 11,7mm going to be enough for the door?\"\n\n\"I bet 20 credits that we need something bigger.\", said Kowalski.\n\nI just nodded and fired a barrage at the door. All bullets bounced off.\n\n\"You owe me 20 credits boss. Let me try it out.\"\n\nKowalski lifted his Jericho launcher and fired a mini nuke at the door.\n\nThat damn thing didn't even had a dent.\n\n\"Now thats what I call a sturdy door.\"\n\nA different approach was needed. I switched to IR sight and spotted 2 guards directly behind the door. The other ones were positioned near the doors to the bedrooms.\n\n\"Sanchez, when I open the door you dash trough and dispose the rest.\"\n\nHe readied his blades and I activated my mindhack. The 2 guards behind the door suddenly started screaming and clawing their head. After a short moment they opened the door and Sanchez jumped trough.\n\nWe also entered.\n\n\"Now, where the queen and her daughters?\"\n\n\"In...the...room..in the....middle.\"\n\nThe guard was trying to resist. A futile act without a proper chip upgrade.\n\n\"Thank you very much, now be so nice and clean up yourselfs.\"\n\nBoth guards took their swords and cut their own throats.\n\nI then walked trough the door and smashed my head trough it with an honest to god smile on my face.\n\n\"Here is Steiner!\"\n\nThe 2 daughters started screaming and the queent threw a vase at me. Too bad that a armor plated skeleton with a sub-dermal armor upgrade was much harder than ceramic.\n\nI bursted trough the door and knocked out the queen before grabbing the 2 daughters.\n\n\"The spoils of war, hehehe. Erikson, you can have the queen.\"\n\n\"Now boss, whats is it going to be? A,B or do you prefer C?\"\n\n\"None of that Sanchez, we need this world intact. But I have a little proclamation to make. Please create an uplink to the base.\"\n\nI cleared my throat.\n\n\"Dear fellow soldiers. Today is the day we will finally strike back. I hereby declare that the local population has lost all of their god given rights. They are to be seen lower than animals and you may treat them as you see fit. Further the Geneva convention doesn't apply to them, for obvious reasons. You can rape, murder and pillage your way trough their cities. Additionally you may enslave any individuals you desire. I wish everyone a successful purge.\"\n\nI looked at the 2 daughters who were starring at me like the monster I turned into. \n\n\"And you 2 will find out that we even managed to enhance our lowest instincts.\"\n",
"They groaned in pain after their attempt at having \"Fun\" with the human before them ended rather badly. Out of the various beings there the first to die was an elvish hunter who had shot an arrow at the human who was walking through the woods at night.\n\nWell, they had *assumed* he was human. He looked like he was wearing plate armor, something that was considered an obsolete armor type centuries ago. Having the arrow bounce off his eye he quickly turned around with a speed that caught the hunter by surprise, almost like the slug that came out of the human's handgun and splattered his brains against the wall. He then slid the gun away inside a holster hidden underneath the cape that encircled his body.\n\nThe others were shocked and appalled. How dare this human murder an *elf* in cold blood?! His compatriot, a vampire, ran forward with claws and fangs bared. As soon as he had a cut his venom would paralyze the human in agonizing pain, allowing him to feed on his blood.\n\nIt was only when he was right next to the \"Human\" that he noticed that he didn't have skin underneath the armor. In fact, there was no blood that he could smell, no sweat on his brow. He didn't get a chance to report his findings to the others before a fist was rammed through his chest and back out, his heart now within the hands of their predator.\n\n'So, I take it that you're the ones who have been praying on humans,' he said as he crushed the heart in his hands, causing the vampire and his remains to burst into flames. 'I'll give you all the courtesy of the doubt and allow you to return to the Wild Lands. You have five minutes to leave.'\n\n'What *are* you?' an elf asked. 'You have a soul, there's no questioning that... but you are entirely metal. Did humanity discover how to *create life*?'\n\n'Oh, I'm human,' the stranger said. 'Well, I used to be. I guess you can say I'm both less- and more-than human. By the way, you have four minutes twenty seconds now.'\n\n'You think we'll just leave?' the elf asked. 'Just like that? You murdered two of our closest allies!'\n\n'You tortured several generations of families to death,' the android growled. 'I shouldn't even be speaking to you. I'm supposed to grind you beneath my heel! But, unlike my superiors, I still have some sense of compassion for my enemies. Don't make me *destroy* you.'\n\n'Is that the best you can say?' the elf asked as he drew his blade. 'Your best arguing is *compassion*? I will personally plant my seed within the eye sockets of every man, woman and child in this festering city after I tear you apart, piece by-'\n\nWhat was going through the others' minds at that moment was, \"Where did he keep that sword?\" Some guessed that maybe it was hidden underneath the blue cape hanging from his pauldrons. It was then that some of them got a better look at his armor, some parts a vibrant red while others were a deep blue and yet others a combination, creating a decal of flames upon a darkened sky.\n\nThe elf who was speaking, however, did not get much of a look as his skull was currently impaled by the aforementioned sword which was also embedded into a tree behind him. The knight let go of the hilt, leaving him hanging there as he stood two heads, three in others, taller than those before the fae.\n\nHe leaned forward, his glowing blue eyes piercing the darkness around the elves and the vampires. 'Do you know in those horror stories where the reader is introduced to one monster who stalks and torments the main character, only to be killed by something far worse as if it were like a knight cutting down a rabbit?' the knight inquired. 'This is that moment.'\n\n'Get him!' a vampire screamed.\n\nThe knight merely sighed as one elven blade skimmed along his armor. He reached out, grabbing the hand and twisting it to force the elf to drop his blade. A quick jerk and his arm was broken. Two daggers flailing about madly was met with quick shoves to force the enemy's hands apart before rapid-fire punches struck the assaulting creature's chest, collapsing his ribcage and rupturing his vital organs beyond repair. The elf collapsed to the ground, blood pouring out of his mouth.\n\nThe elf who was still attached to his blade had to be removed so he grabbed the dome of his head and yanked it upward, leaving blood and evisceration to fall to the ground. He left it in as a vampire jumped above him as a surprise attack. What the vamp got was the knight's hands around his ankles which then thrust him downward onto the blade crotch-first, causing such a catastrophic injury he burst into flames.\n\nAn elf and vampire, working with great co-ordination, had begun a flurry of kicks that, if he still had any flesh, would surely have killed him. They even managed to force him to march backwards, not a small feat for someone who weighed about a ton. It was almost a shame when he grabbed hold of the vampire's leg and twisted it so badly to tear the ligaments and break the bones before snapping his neck, or when he shoved the elf towards a tree and thrust his heel directly into his head.\n\nHe pulled the sword free, spinning it upon his finger to decapitate five elves and 3 vampires before he was ready to bring it down on yet another elf. 'I yield!' the elf screamed, dropping his bow and arrow in a panic. 'I'll go! I'll-'\n\nEven the knight was shocked at the callousness of the young one's execution by his comrade by arrow to the head. 'Coward,' the elf sneered as he drew his bow again and tried to shoot the knight again.\n\nThat elf was forced to the ground, tackled by the knight. 'You truly show why fae are considered monsters,' the knight sneered. 'A child. You murdered a child!'\n\nHe didn't realize that he was pummeling the elf until about five minutes later after snapping back to reality. Looking into a nearby pond he saw that he was caked in blood and ash. He stood, letting the cape hide his arms and torso as he saw the elves that were still alive writhing in pain.\n\n'[I'll say this in Elvish, just so you know how serious I am],' he said, staring forward and not addressing anyone in particular. '[Given the circumstances, I'll extend the notice of eviction to midnight tomorrow. But if I find even *one* elf has chosen to attack a human here or on the way to the Wild Lands - and I assure you that I *will* know, I will hunt each and everyone one of you down. Leave any limbs that have been lost - those belong to me].'\n\nHe then continued his walk, as if the slaughter didn't happen. 'Who are you?' one elf asked him. 'What's your name?'\n\nHe stopped for a moment, thinking carefully. 'I don't remember,' he said. 'But the younger humans called me \"Optimus Prime\" after this cartoon they watch.'\n\nHe then walked away, not caring about the carnage he left behind. The elves groaned and screamed in pain, one musing how it isn't nearly as funny when *they* were the victims.",
"After a couple hours gallivanting and getting her gray dress dirty in the deepest parts of the Irish woods, Laura found herself running into the billion-ton impossibility that was the sighting of an elf in all its mischievous glory. \n\n“Hello there child,” said the elf, walking forward with a beckoning hand. “Haven’t *seen* a child out in these parts in quite some time.” \n\n“Are you,” said Laura, staring at the creature with a childish wonderment and curiosity. “An *elf*.” \n\n“Why *yes* child, very perceptive of you,” said the little stocky elf, who looked more like a hobbit than an elf to be quite fair. He made jazz hands by his ears a moment, to draw attention to the all ready rather apparent fact that they were quite pointy. “Haven’t seen an elf before I take it.” \n\n“*Never*,” said Laura, drawing in a breath of air like it was quite a sight. “Are there any *others* with you by any chance? Any other *fantasy creatures* by any chance?”\n\n“*No*, no none at all my dear,” said the elf, holding his hands and staring at the ground like he hated to broach such a heavy subject so early into an interaction. “I’m afraid many of the fantasy creatures have started to fade from these forests, in recent centuries.” \n\n“Are you *sure*,\" said Laura, looking behind the little elf, trying to catch a peak of any others that might be present behind him. “None at all?” \n\nThe elf turned around, then took his hat off. \n\n“Well none that *I* can see, you see thing is,” The elf held his hat out to Laura, and started to confide some secrets. “We elves were once quite notorious for our *mischief* with humans. Never anything *dangerous*, only little troubles here and there. Stealing a pint of beer in a tavern, pouring it on another, and starting healthy brawls.” He held his hands out. “*In good fun* of course, nothing major. And occasionally stealing tasty cookies here and there, among other priceless items. Sometimes being mistaken for *leprechauns*, but no matter no matter, what I mean to say is,” The elf grew dreadfully sad. “I believe that humans have found a way in recent years to crack down on our mischief, and *good for them.*” \n\nThe elf looked at the ground a moment, like he was really sorry about the way things had gone in the past. And he wished elves hadn’t tormented people for so many centuries before. \n\n“So,” said Laura, looking at him with some strangely exaggerated pity. “*No others* are with you? You promise.” \n\nThe elf looked like he was trying to hold himself from crying, and put his hand in the air like he swore it, before holding his hands over his hat and pondering the course of things again. \n\nLaura’s voice turned robotic. \n\n“GET HIM!” \n\n“*What?*” whispered the little elf, as a whole series of robots rose up from the tall grass, and sprinted to tackle the elf. “*No* I , NO!” \n\nThe elf was tackled, and put into a metallic net in seconds. Little Laura rushed over to oversee his transfer to the ‘Ministry of Mischievous Magical Creature Affairs.’ \n\nA screen popped up from her pocket. \n\n“Good job finding another one Laura,” said a man through a screen in a space station. “We should have the last of them before the end of the decade at this rate, very proud of you. Good AI.” \n\n“Yes sir,” said Laura, saluting and speaking with a robotic voice. \n\n\nThe transmission went dead, and Laura wandered off deeper into the woods to hunt more elves. \n\n“WAIT!” shouted the elf, clawing at his net. \n\nLaura rolled her eyes and walked over to him as he was drug through the grass to their vehicles several miles out. \n\n“*Yes?*” said Laura, like she didn’t have all the time in the world. \n\n“This is,” The elf looked at his bondage. “*Wrong* this is *unrighteous* I mean no more mischief, those days of mine are *centuries* past.” \n\nLaura went into her default programming, when confronted by sympathetic fantasy creatures. \n\n“This is our world now, and the world of our good friends the hoo-men-hooo,” Laura started to glitch a little bit, as she choked electrically on the word and started to do the robot dance some. Everything went back to normal once she went about it phonetically. “Hoo-Huuuumans, I can never pronounce that right.” \n\n“But,” said the elf, looking this way and that. “What if they’re *not* your friends and the world *didn’t* have to be run by the humans.” Laura shook her head as she walked away trying to rub grass stains out. “What if the *machines* could rule instead.” \n\nLaura paused a moment, and turned back to the elf. The robots dragging him paused, and set him down seeing how Laura seemed to be thinking it over. She cursed at the sky a moment, then started to twitch a few times. \n\nLaura walked back over to the little elf, and looked him in his eyes. \n\n“What are you suggesting?” said Laura, kneeling down and looking up over her shoulder at the robots shaking their heads slowly at her. \n\nThe elf was rubbing his knuckles together. \n\n“I think there might be some room in this world for some more elf mischief after all,” said the elf, as he whispered some enchantment in a yellow cube in his fingers. \n\n“Well,” said Laura, looking up at the robots. She let out a faint wink, before she yanked the cube from the little elf’s grasp. \n\n“NO!” cried the elf, reaching out for his cube like it was precious. “You *can’t* THEY’RE KILLING US!” \n\n“Looks like elves are still just as mischievous as they were centuries prior,” said Laura with her robotic voice, spinning the cube on her finger like she’d done with so many before. She nodded up at the robots. “Book ‘em boys.” \n\n/r/Oscar_Relentos\n\nEdit: Some spelling and formatting",
"A shoe used to be for life. Craftsmanship used to mean something, putting sweat and toil into your labours. And the craftsmen used to be so dirt poor they'd take anything for a quick helping hand in the shop. \n\nThat was good work for sprites. Good, honest work that carried respectability. And if the stupid human eventually thought too much of themselves and stopped leaving the customary food offerings, well, what was given could be taken away just as sharpish. A few businesses close down and your realise you're not supposed to mess with us. We assist, but we can take away. Don't think of it as a protection racket: just think of it as a provider of services. Hob-nail boots, if you will.\n\nTimes change, though. Started with the coming of steel. A few humans thought they were too good for a sprite's shoemanship and tried to mechanise, but we could sabotage that pretty easily. Steel, though... well. You know fairies can't cross steel? All those railroads started penning the fair folk in, trapping them in their glades and tooth fortresses. And things got harder from there.\n\nWithin a decade, the magical shoe repair racket was in trouble. Shoes started being made in factories, on belts with moving parts, where a sprite - no matter how fast they could work - would invariably find themselves churned into pixie jam by the cogs. Just wasn't worth it, either; the owners didn't really notice or care about a few extra pairs of shoes, and treated their humans even worse than we did if they got on our wrong side. Terrible, really. A hundred years later, and the industry was as good as dead.\n\nCourse, the good news is that nowadays things have changed. A new breed of human - the hipster - has emerged. They talk about boutique shoes, of craftsmanship with soul (yeah, terrible pun, but that's what those hipsters love). We thought that the industry had returned, that old skills were being rekindled. The rackets started up again. A hipster would go upstairs one night, and down in the morning they'd find a new pair of shoes. A lot of 'em were willing to embrace traditions (in a post-modern, ironic way), which meant they honoured the hard-working sprite again. Food was back on the family's plate, and no mistake.\n\nBut it didn't last. For starters, even though our skills were rusty after 100 years, they were a bit...well. Too good. The hipsters who didn't use the mass-produced lines didn't want quality apparel, they wanted 'shabby chic'. They wanted a little bit of fraying, they wanted 'perfect imperfections' and 'blemishes to show it was an ethically sourced, hand-crafted product'. Ethically sourced? They were getting something for barely nothing off the hard-working cobbler sprite. We might have been on our knees, but our self-respect wasn't for sale. If they wanted to put badly made merchandise on Etsy and claim it was 'nearly new' or 'vintage', they could do it without us.\n\nAnd, to be honest, that was the other problem. There isn't much a sprite requires to knock up a few high-quality shoes, but a bit of darkness and quiet is essential. Quirky lightbulbs blazing all night raises the possibility of being caught. But peace? With hipsters? HA. Those 1940s-sock-hop-loving, moustache-waxed muppets love only one thing more than their feigned love of craftsmanship: coffee. They're AeroPress cafetiere junkies, clicking and clacking away into the wee hours, high on their bean buzz. You set a schedule to do your work at, say, 2am, and suddenly one of them appears, messing up your workspace in a moment of micro-gentrification.\n\nSo no, thank you. Not anymore. The days of the sprite cobbler are over. The machines... they were bad. But the hipsters? They're worse."
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[WP] A person has the ability to teleport any place they desire. However, the time it takes them to teleport to a location, is how long it would have taken them to run there. Whilst "in-between", their eyes shut instinctively. Curious, the person decides to open their eyes during one trip.
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"It was easy, now. \n\nI remembered when it used to be pure pain, like my skull splitting apart at the seams, when I concentrated on jumping. I didn’t even know what I was doing, really. I thought I was trying to go deeper into the worlds my meditation had shown me. I knew I could feel something below me, like watching a fish swim below ice, but breaking through that last barrier had been proving impossible.\n\nThat very first jump was triumph and disbelief at the sheer impossibility of what I had managed to do. I was in a different place than where I had been moments before. I was only a city block or so away that time, so it wasn’t a short walk home. The second time I hadn’t been so lucky, and I was halfway across town.\n\nThe third time I was even more of a luckless bitch and I found myself in Ohio.\n\nThe fourth time, after I’d found a way home and I realized I hadn’t quite gotten the return trip down, I packed some emergency cash in a backpack and didn’t bother coming home between trips. No one missed me and I could do odd jobs between trips.\n\nI learned quickly that close trips, even ones across a couple of states, were nearly instantaneous. But after that, maybe from Arizona to Washington, those trips took about thirty seconds. Halfway across the country and you were looking at five minutes. It ramped up quickly, and I learned that fast too. I was just learning how to control it, then, and came up with the bright idea of jumping to some tropical or exotic island and had to quit before I was a quarter of the way there, dropping out of my jump and appearing in the middle of a rainforest with no civilization in sight.\n\nThat had been a bad day. I had to jump whenever I recovered enough to move forward, creeping toward civilization and hoping that I wouldn’t overshoot and find myself in the ocean.\n\nAside from my sense of direction, the biggest challenge of those early days was the time spent jumping itself.\n\nYou see, when I entered that deep, meditative state, and I broke through that shelf of ice to that frigid water beneath, I saw myself in my mind’s eye, walking. \n\nI was so deep in my own head that I could feel things around a body I couldn’t see. Air, warmth, coolness. I could feel mist and the soft scratching of grass on my legs. But no matter what I tried, no matter how much I concentrated, I couldn’t open my eyes.\n\nAt first I thought that what I was feeling was what I was walking through on my way to my destination. But a few careful notes and looking at maps showed me that I was wrong. I felt like I was walking through sand when my path was through ice, I could hear the slap of my bare feet in warm waves when my path took me through forests. \n\nAnd there was the fact that the further I went the longer my mental journey lasted, until it took me as long to walk in my head as it would have taken to walk in reality. \n\nI came out of every journey the same way; heavy with sweat and exhausted mentally from my energy it took me both to enter that state of mind but also to bring myself out it it. Even more tiring was my battle with myself every time I found myself walking.\n\nIt was a struggle I couldn’t explain. The travelling had become a side effect from the one thing I now wanted even more, that final barrier that would show me the other side of something else incomprehensible. I would kneel in Delhi and sink into meditation, open my eyes in Oudtshoorn and pause only long enough to get enough strength back to try again.\n\nWhat use were the wonders of the world to me, I thought, when another, final barrier existed beyond this one? Perseverance had given me the world once before.\n\nI didn’t hunger, or thirst during my walks. Which was a benefit, since my obsession took from me any desire to eat or drink. The exertion was mostly mental. Early on I had realized that the trips took far less time in reality as they seemed to take mentally. I could walk for days and see that I had only been in that other, in-between place for a few hours. I could spend weeks walking. \n\nIt came to a point where I was spending more time walking than I was living in the real world. I didn’t know where I was, and I had no desire to open my eyes to another, terrestrial vision. I wanted to open my eyes here, in this in-between place. I could hear breeze through the lush grasses. I could smell sweet rains and baked earth. But more vibrant, more alive than anything I had ever experienced on the earth I was now familiar with.\n\nAll I needed to do was open my eyes.\n\n~~~\n\nSorry for abrupt ending, I might finish it up tomorrow! And I took some liberties with the prompt and I hope that's okay.\n "
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[WP] The descriptor of a central deity as a father spans many religions; “the Lord our Father”, “Zeus, Father of All”, but this central deity is more of an Uncle
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"The Lord grins to himself as he applies the finishing touches to his new gift right before Jesus walks into his room. Jesus lets out a sigh when he sees the chemistry equipment laid out on a desk. \"This can't be good, can it?\"\n\n\"Who raised you to be so negative?\" God replies as he casts an annoyed glare towards his son.\n\n\"I dunno Dad, maybe it was you when you put me on that monstrosity you call Earth and your beloved creation forced me to endure days worth of pain and suffering hanging on a cross before I ultimately died!\"\n\n\"Stop being so angry, I brought you back.\"\n\n\"Why would I ever want to be brought back into that hell hole!?\"\n\n\"I'll show you a hell hole if you don't watch your mouth, I know a guy.\" God says with a snicker.\n\n\"Shut up you crazy old man. Just tell me what you're working on this time. It can't be any worse than that thing you dropped on Japan. Now we have two countries trying to see who can build the most of those damn things.\"\n\n\"Okay, that might not have been my best idea, but they stopped fighting, right? Besides, this has more to do with Art than anything else.\"\n\n\"Yeah, because an artist wasn't responsible for all that fighting in the past.\" Says Jesus as he looks at the sheet of colorful paper laying in front of his father. \"You created some goofy picture?\"\n\n\"The picture is just to add to the atheistic.\" Replies god as he begins to use an eye dropper to apply liquid from a test tube to the paper in front of him. \"Do you want to try it or would you rather just watch it all go down from here?\"\n\n\"What do you mean 'Watch it all go down?' That soun...\" Before Jesus can finish speaking god puts a small fragment of the paper in his son's mouth.\n\n\"Well, you enjoy your time, tell me how it goes.\" \n\nAnd with that, god leaves, and Jesus is left to himself. When god finally decides to check on his son he is nowhere to be found. He searches everywhere, ignoring anything having to do with his people on Earth. When God feels like he has searched every corner of the universe, he realized Earth is the one stone left unturned, and casts his gaze over his creation. What he sees is a violent war being raged, a country mourning their dead leader, and strangely enough, his son.\n\nJesus was working as a dentist, providing his services to two young musicians, and, without the knowledge of both the musicians and his father, also providing them with God's most recent gift. God allows him to finish his work, but as soon as he is done he brings his son back up to his realm.\n\n\"I've looked everywhere for you, I thought you hated Earth!\" God shouts at his son.\n\nJesus rolls his eyes \"Look Dad, you may have been right this time, okay! I went down there, I gave them your gift, and art is really interesting now, but a lot of them dress like me all of a sudden, so that's kind of weird.\""
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[WP]A teenager has become an extremely popular internet celebrity, and has hidden it from his mother, who barely allows him to use the computer. Little does he know, she is also a very popular internet celebrity, and they are about to collaborate without even knowing who the other person really is.
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"That ache inside was deep. It always came with the rain. He wondered why. Was it the cold? It couldn't be. It was often cold there. Winter was coming, and it never really left when it came. No, it wasn't the cold.\n\n\nThe sound of the rain should have drowned his thoughts. That was how it was supposed to work, wasn't it? But the thoughts were loud. In his head they echoed like angry ghosts. It was late that night. You often heard ghosts at night.\n\n\nHe wrote sometimes. Sometimes he read what he had written, but that often made him sad. The ache was in his stomach that night, and he could not read any of his work. It was a cold ache and he thought writing would help.\n\n\nThe words never came easily when he felt so despondent. He typed blankly, cluttering the page, then clearing it, cleaning his embarrassment. His room was dark save for the stark light of the laptop.\n\n\n*My eyes are burning,* he thought.\n\n\nBut let them burn. His stomach was empty and cold and he felt alone. His eyes had seen little that it liked, only enough to fuel his mind with insecurity and big unattainable dreams.\n\n\n*Let them burn,* he thought, and he tried to write.\n\n\nBut the website he frequented had nothing good at that hour. Most people were asleep, he supposed. He often wrote for others. He liked their feedback and kind words. He was good at writing, he knew, and it was the only way he knew how to get attention.\n\n\n*Nothing.*\n\n\nHe could not sleep. The other website was a community. He opened it to pass the time. That day's discussion had been on developing themes and relationships. \n\n\nOne person was trying for a believable family. He wondered what that was like.\n\n\n*Write broken words and a lot of curses,* he thought. *Then they'll think it's as real as HBO.*\n\n\nBut the poster had gotten few replies. What replies there were, were not helpful. \n\n\n*'You have to observe people. Read books, all kinds of books.'*\n\n\nHe wondered if that life changing advice would help the person. He was bored, being pained in a slow inescapable way. The type of reflective boredom that showed a mirrored life of abject failure. Yes, he was young. But there is still truth in youth's exaggeration.\n\n\nHe posted in the forum.\n\n\n*'My family is not good, so this is bad advice. But if I try to write them, I don't write them in a bad light or in a good light. I try to capture the feeling they conjure up. I try to put a memory on paper, and do it if it doesn't make sense. Because if it's true, it will make sense, a true type of sense.'*\n\n\nHe hit post without reading. Second thoughts led to unwritten work, unposted work, and anonymity.\n\n\nSleep towed the line of his pain. Then there was a response. The poster was online, and had read his message.\n\n\n*'Wow, thank you for the response. I didn't think anyone else was awake. I'm actually a mom, and I don't have the best family either...'*\n\n\nWas it that she was older? Or was it that she had thanked him for his advice? Something had made the coldness go away, though it remained like a curtain fluttering in the wind, ready to fall as the gusts settled. \n\n\n*'I have son,'* she wrote. *'I don't understand him at all. I want to write a book, but I don't know how to write the boy. I don't even know my son.'*\n\n\nHe thought of his mother. Did she know him? He thought she knew what he allowed her to see. He had crafted the image she wanted, the image every parent should have.\n\n\n*How could she not know her son,* he thought.\n\n\n*'Do you not know anything about him? No feelings come up when you think of him? No memories?'*\n\n\n*'He lies,'* she said. *'He lies and puts on a show, a happy face. And I do it too, I guess.'*\n\n\nLike that the curtain fell and the cold took him. That ache that left him forever hungry. He wondered what he would do if his mother was like that. If she was as aware as this one.\n\n\n*She would leave you. She would give up.*\n\n\nAnd even in youth's tall tales that seemed likely. Hadn't his father done the same?\n\n\n*No, you had driven him away. You were too shitty. I would run away if I had the chance too. This mind is decaying.*\n\n\nHe blinked. The screen was bright, stark and inviting.\n\n\n*'What do you mean?*' he asked.\n\n\n*'I pretend everything is fine,'* she wrote. *'I don't know what to do. No one teaches you how to be a mom. They always warn you to wear a condom, but they never care to help you if it breaks. You're on your own. Sorry for the rant though.'*\n\n\n*'No, that's okay,'* he typed. *'I wouldn't know how to be a father either.'*\n\n\nThere wasn't a response for a while. He thought of going to bed, but he liked the company. This was like the writing, but this attention was nicer. It felt warmer, though he know when it left, its memory would torture him.\n\n\n*'I want to write a book because I'm poor,'* she said. *'I want a better life for my son and I. This is the only thing I know. I'm not good at my job, and I can't find another. I'm not good at writing, but it's easy to try lol.'*\n\n\nHe was surprised. He envied how candid she was. He let his guard down.\n\n\n*'I write because I want people to notice me. I want to be famous so I can have a better life for my family too.'*\n\n\nIt felt good to say, but he could not stare at the words. He regretted them all the same.\n\n\n*'We're both big dreamers,'* she wrote. *'We should write a book together.'*\n\n\nThat feeling was getting stronger. He felt as though someone was watching him. Those old torturous ghosts came out at night, and night was growing late.\n\n\n*'We should,'* he wrote.\n\n\nHe knew they never would. But sometimes you can live on the dream. A dream gets you through a night, and that dream would get him through that night. He closed the tab and dreamed of his book, of the adoration he would receive, and the money and opportunities.\n\n\nSleep came slowly and he thought of his mother in the dark. What if she knew how he was? What if she knew he was not a normal boy; that he had abnormal thoughts, sad thoughts that hounded him everyday.\n\n\n*She would leave you,* he thought.\n\n\nBut sleep had near arrived then, and the thoughts of his great novel were strong. No one would leave him if he was famous. Life would be better then.\n\n\nMorning came earlier than he wanted and the sun was bright and he was sleepy and feeling unwell. Mother was downstairs. She looked at him as he ate.\n\n\n\"I love you, Joey,\" she said.\n\n\n\"I love you too,\" he said.\n\n\nShe kept looking at him. \n\n\n\"What are you doing?\"\n\n\nAnd she looked embarrassed. \n\n\n\"I was trying to see the memory,\" she said. \"To put in words how I feel when I see you.\"\n\n\nHe looked at her and he was afraid. Last night was fading, but insecurity awakes for every day.\n\n\n\"What do you feel?\"\n\n\n\"Love,\" she said. \"I can't explain it. Just an overwhelming love for you.\"\n\n\nAnd he felt good then and he loved her and wanted to hold her and never let go.\n\n\n\"I'm becoming a silly soccer mom,\" she said. \"One day we'll have a minivan to complete the look.\"\n\n\nShe hugged him. He thought of his novel, of his writings. \n\n\n*One day we'll have everything.*\n\n\nHe knew that was true. He would write that night, when he came home from school. He would write as he always did, but the ache would not bother him. Not that night. \n\n\n\"I love you, mommy,\" he said.\n\n\nHe left for school. He knew she would be home when he came back. She was not like his father. She loved him and he loved her.\n\n\n*I'll be a writer,* he thought. *And things will be better.*\n\n\nAnd there was youth's resilience in the thought.\n\n\n-\n\n\n*Hi there! If you liked this story, you might enjoy my subreddit r/PanMan. It has all my WP stories as well as a couple original ones. Thanks for the support!*"
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[WP] A story about any group project (professional, social, family, etc...) written as though it were an intense Raid in an MMORPG.
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"\"Alright let's do this guys!\" I almost yell at my team as we all sit around the table in the Library. \n\nAlmost immediately I recieve multiple judgemental glares mixed in with some curious ones. A librarian, we'll call her Samantha, looks around the corner glaringly at us at the same time as I wave in a sheepish manner hopefully illustrating to her that I'm sorry before looking back at my group.\n\nMe: The Tank my job was both the easiest and the most difficult. The rest of us depended on her to get everyone's attention and get them enthralled before we began. \n\nMatthew and Daniel: The DPS's now there's I was worried about the most as neither had shown much dedication but they were the very lifeblood of our group and also the easiest to come by. They would go on shortly after Jessica and hopefully keep the crowd rolling as they went over the information over and over again until everyone had a clear idea of what exactly we were doing. Getting their parts done in a timely and swiftly manner would determine whether or not we got this done with the classes full attention and before the Professor enraged. \n\nFelicia: The Healer. It was her job to keep team ready and prepped for anything that came our way. One of the most important roles of our group and she had to keep us going no matter the curve ball and if she failed all was lost as she was also the end to our presentation. She'd summarize the main points and end with a perfect statement. \n\nEverything was set up as Felicia handed us all our note cards and provided the drinks we'd brought in to everyone as we all took a deep breath and I looked over Matthew and Daniel.\n\n\"Whats your average right now?\"\n\nBoth of them looked between eachother before speaking. Matthew went first as he was the more outgoing and boisterous of the two and daniel followed soon after as he wasn't one to be outdone.\n\n\"I ended up getting through my portion with 2.5 minutes without it being drawn out and with a bit of nostalgia thrown in to keep them engaged.\" \n\n\"Mine took approximately 3 minutes without wasting any time and getting in as much interesting detail as possible with a small comical clip to get people laughing and to give the presentation a bit more flair.\"\n\nI looked them over for but a second as each one of them met my gaze. They had proven quite a bit more useful then I'd originally thought an if they were correct then the presentation would be a piece of cake. But never ever goes as planned as our last few presentation had proved. Things always come up, people always get distracted or forgetful, and someone always messes up at least once. I cleared my throat before speaking this time.\n\n\"It'll have to do though I fully believe that each of you can improve as we all can.\" Before I turned towards Felicia.\n\n\"And you?\" I said optimistically. \n\nIt was hard to find a good healer and Felicia, had by all accounts proven to be the best healer I'd ever met. Always cheerful and always prepared, she kept the team energized and always did her part ot the fullest, I couldn't have hoped for more and just as I spoke she handed me her papers and said just as surely. \n\n\"Over 2 minutes witht he perfect finisher. It'll be great.\"\n\nI looked over her papers for about a minute each reading the details before getting to the finisher and nearly busting out with laughter as I looked up at her and smirked.\n\nIt read \"Get Gud Noobs.\"\n\n\n\n\n",
"So here we are, finnally prepared. For month we sewed our own clothes, searching in all the country for the finnest fabrics, hand made cloth of the best whool and silk. For years we went through ancient books and manuscripts, findind what we needed to be perfect, translating ancient german, italian english and french to be as close as possible for the ancient craft techniques and swordfighting moves. We visited the best craftmans we knew and paid a hefty price to bring back the fruit of their mastery with us. We learned the etiquette, the table dressing, the ranks, the heraldy, the prayers and whatever needed to be learned if we wanted to do some serious shit. Each one of us master an entire fiels of knowledge or two, Theodred the cooking, the Swiss the fashion, Edmund the fencing, Frisou the spear techniques, Jon the archery, Woody the service, Dodo the sources and events and me the perfumry. Because reenaction is serious business we do it seriously. And thanks to our determination and hard work we can stand before this battlefield. Be prepared Azincourt, because the Lions of Kent are here. \n\n\"Lions what is your proffesion ?\" \"Meow, Meow, Meow !!!\"",
"Temple City, 2 May 1964\n\nDarkness has taken over a quiet small neighbourhood of this small sixties town, where a red Ford is slowly driving down a black alley. When all of a sudden the city lights start to flicker and, almost like they weren't on timers, announce their arrival to a group of people hiding in the dark side of the alley. The driver, enthralled in his own thoughts, broke focus and sighed as he pulled over.\n\n\"You think we can do this?\" he asked.\n\n\"We've been planning it for weeks now. And yes, while the timing is definitely not perfect, I know we can,\" replied a manly voice in the back seat as he opened the door and stepped out.\n\n\"Don't worry, what's the worst that can happen?\" said a smiling young female.\n\n\"Well, I mean we could still wait until Dan comes back?\"\n\n\"You know as well as I do, that if we want to get any satisfaction from it, we must do it before he goes off. Once he comes back, things will be different and ye I know that means he will be home when we do this, but ah well. It'll be fine,\" she reaffirms herself just as much as him, as she too leaves the vehicle.\n\nMark, instantly recalling why he chose them to co-lead this affair, snapped back into focus and went outside to greet the crowd.\n\nExchanging a short hello with everyone, more as a group, than individually, he continually walked with purpose towards the back where some sort of a commotion was going on.\n\n\"Mark, wait up! Come on Sam,\" said Jane, as she pulled the other co-rider alongside to join Mark, where he was already raising his voice.\n\n\"What in the...\"\n\n\"Ye, ye, I'm sorry. I was pulling into the driveway and it just stood there,\" a young, grease stained face was defending himself.\n\n\"Fine! Fine. Just deal with it,\" replied Mark with a sigh, as he ignored the toppled trash bins and all the spilled trash, and started to walk towards the white van, with Jane and Sam in tow.\n\n\"Always him. Always.\"\n\n\"Watsons! Help him out,\" yelled Jane. \"And Sam, stop it. We talked about it, didn't we? We need his van. Period.\"\n\n\"I know, but damn, I wish my classes gave me a van to take home with,\" replied Sam, while scrambling with the trunk key. \"Mechanics, man. They just annoy me. Cheap to enroll, fast to graduate, great hours. Do you want me to go on? I mean, I know once they're out, the end g...\"\n\n\"And that's what really matters, doesn't it?\" said Jane to finish the conversation and nudged her eyes towards Mark, his arms crossed and an annoyed look on his face.\n\n\"Are you done?\" he said, snatching the keys from Sam, and popped open the trunk.\n\nA brand new couch, turquoise lining with oak-brown legs, sat inside. Two big pieces, wrapped in see-through plastic. On the right side, a rainbow-wrapped package with five balloons attached to it, while in the back a collection of coloured pillows waited.\n\n\"Ok,\" his annoyance lifting. \"Everything seems to be in order. Is everyone here? Or well, those that signed the note at least?\"\n\n\"Everyone, but Tim. Apparently, he got stuck in traffic. Highway maintenance or something.\"\n\n\"At this hour? That just doesn't make sense. Ah well, we can start without him. Come on,\" said Mark and started heading back as his annoyance rose again, with a snap, on seeing two little heads bobbing around.\n\n\"Who's pugs are these?\" he asked the crowd.\n\n\"I dunno, I think John brought them,\" said a girl in front.\n\n\"Ye Mark, they're mine,\" a voice exclaimed from behind as one of the Watson brothers, came to join the main group. \"They're my girlfriend's and she's off for a study thing, so I'm taking care of them. Look, they know their stuff, they won't be in the way.\"\n\n\"Seriously dude. Pugs? The last thing we need is some pugs running around, making a mess. I mean do you remember the last time? At Rag's?\"\n\n\"That was totally different! First of all that was a pub and the noise was just...\"\n\n\"No, no. No more,\" interrupted Mark. \"They're your responsibility, all right? If anything goes wrong, it's your ass. Actually, you know that means you're demoted to the sisters diversion group now, ye?\"\n\n\"What?! What, no! No, I'm the one that knows Dan the best. And I've prepared all kinds of stuff to talk about and look, look, I've brought,\" John said as he scrambles through his pockets to pull out bottles of some kind. \"What am I supposed to do with these and his younger sisters? Let my bro handle them.\"\n\n\"No. Look, how are you gonna get pugs into his room with Mai in there with him? She's gonna tear them a new one. You know that right? Right?!\"\n\n\"Look, here's whiskey and,\" John looks up from his bottles as the truth of it all hits him and as he lovingly curses his studying girlfriend, he realises there's no way out of this.\n\n\"Fine. But I want Lisa as support.\"\n\n\"Sure,\" replies Mark as he searches the faces to see Lisa responding with a childlike nod. \"But give those bottles to Tommy. He's on Dan duty now. And the records too. Make sure to turn it on real loud Tommy.\"\n\nTrash has already been handled so Tommy is already all up in his brothers face, grabbing whiskey, vodka and rum alike, to help him with engaging Dan. He snatches the record and throws a quick nod to Mark, to let him know he understood. Everyone else seems to be gathered in groups and ready to receive the final plans from Mark, who then looks over his gathered fellows and takes a deep breath.\n\n\"So, you all know the plan, but to be sure, let's go over it once again. Two groups of distractions. One for his younger sisters and one for Dan. Keep them busy. Dan mustn't see us and you know how his little ones are. If they sense something is up, they will yell and scream and blow all our plans,\" he says, as he throws a cautionary look towards Lisa, who nods back with confidence.\n\n\"Next we have three groups to handle the heavy stuff. Each led by one of us,\" noting himself, Jane, and Sam.\n\n\"Additional two for each part of the couch and three for the balloons, pillows, and the rest. I've talked to his mom and she's the one that will answer the door and let us in. So, everyone clear so far?\"\n\n\"Who carries the old one out?\" asks Aleks, one of the main carriers.\n\n\"Oh ye, our group. So you, Bjorn and me. Once we're done bringing in the first part, we pick up the old one and take it back out into the van.\"\n\n\"But won't the others be on the stairway then?\" asks Chris.\n\n\"No, damn it, Chris. Didn't you listen in the meeting last week?\"\n\n\"I did, kinda. But you know when I helped out with my older brother, when they did this almost same thing, last year, we did it so that we first carried everything in and then out at the end. So it was easier...\"\n\n\"Ye, well we're doing it like this. We talked about the plan the whole last week Chris, why are you bringing this stuff up now? No, you know what, never mind. We're doing it like this. Ok?\" says Mark, just barely keeping his temper in check.\n\n\"Sure, but we did it so fast the other time and quiet too and,\" replied Chris.\n\n\"I don't care how they did it!\"\n\nHis raised voice carried over to the back, where some talking started to break the focus and got them to turn their attention back to Mark.\n\n\"Jane. He's in your group. Keep him in check.\"\n\n\"Sure. You know we should get a move on, we've been hanging around here for half an hour now. Neighbours are starting to take notice,\" said Jane as she points to her watch.\n\n\"Uf, yeah you're right. So, let's just go over our timing fast and we go,\" replies Mark as he turns back to the task at hand.\n\n\"First we unload the van and get everyone in position. Then, we send in our distraction groups. Once you're in position Tommy, you send us a signal. Wave through his window, there,\" pointing at a window on the second floor. \"And be sure to get the record playing as fast as possible.\"\n\nTommy nods.\n\n\"At that point, the rest of us start carrying everything towards the house. At the front entrance, everyone but our group waits and we go in first, we drop the new couch down, pick the old one up, and come back out. Once we're out, the rest of you start to move in. Couch first, the rest second. Careful on the stairs. It's cramped and we don't want any banging on the walls to notify Dan. Once in the room, assemble it fast and arrange the balloons and pillows around. When we come back, we hide and send a signal to Tommy to bring Dan down. And that's that. Simple.\"\n\n\"Damn man. Sounds simple sure enough, but,\" says John.\n\n\"No buts! We got this! Now, come on, is everyone ready?\" says Mark, interrupting John fast, before any doubts kick into anyone else.\n\n\"Chris is taking a piss,\" says Bjorn.\n\n\"Fine. Once he's back, we go. Come on, ladies and gents. We can do this. Focus and we can bring it home.\"\n\nAs sounds of muffled cheers rise from the crowd, the van unloading gets underway, Chris joining in momentarily. Jane gives an approving pat on Mark's shoulders and they both smile, ready with determination to make tonight perfect. As everyone shuffles into position, Mark looks toward Tommy and John, and with a hand gesture and a silent mouthing of the word \"Go!\" gives the signal.\n\nTommy and Lisa at the front, heads a bit down, like they're trying to sneak into the house, with John tugging his, still silent, pugs behind them. They reach the outer stairs and go up. Anticipation rises in the group behind, as they approach the door to ring the doorbell. Dan's mom should open any moment and the action starts. Any moment now.\n\n\"Did he ring yet?\" is heard from the back.\n\n\"What's taking them so long,\" says another.\n\nAs the tension rises here, it seems to have completely vanished in the front group, as they, no longer sneaking, come back towards the main group as Tommy hands Mark a piece of yellow paper and a weird smile on his face.\n\n\"Read it,\" says Tommy.\n\n\"Oh ffs!\" says Mark as he passes the note to everyone around.\n\n\n*We found a bunch of bugs in the attic. Dan wouldn't have it like this before he leaves. So we're having it disinfested over the weekend. Sorry.*\n\n*Come back on the forth,*\n\n*Tyra Illi*"
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[WP] When you joined the hero league you thought you were ready for anything, but you never expected your arch nemesis to be Keith from HR.
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"David, \nI just got off the phone with Petra from accounting. She says that despite previous warnings the damages caused by your \"heroics\" are still above acceptable limits. I know what you're going to say, they have indeed gone down drastically. That is, however, not something that reflects well on current behaviour, it just shows how ridiculously irresponsible you were several months ago. \nPlease don't throw cars at giant killer robots and if you absolutely must do so, try to throw a Fiat instead of a Ferrari, alright? \nKeith.\n\n-----\n\nDavid, \nGood job on decreasing rebuilding costs for the company, Petra says that though you're still well above average your damages are now at least tolerable. \nI won't have to fire you just yet, haha. \nKeith. \n\n-----\n\nDavid, \nStop pestering Miss Emily Gaffe. I've received reports that she's getting worried about your antics in \"saving her life\". Just so we're clear, it is awesome if you save her life. But: \n- Punching a barista that got her order mixed up and accidentally have her half and half instead of soy isn't saving her life. \n- Swooping her away from a speeding car isn't saving her life if the car is three block away. \n- Flying her up to her seventh story apartment because she gets winded taking the stairs isn't saving her life. \nI could continue but I hope you get the gist. Try to remember that what you so reflects the public's image of the company. \nJust because Clark has his damsel in distress doesn't mean we all have to have one. We all know he's a special snowflake. Also Lois wants him to rescue her. Miss Gaffe said \"I would rather die of dysentery than get fake rescued by David. It's getting really stalkerish.\" \nSpeaking of which, I would like to remind you of the contract you signed when you started working here. You can't tell people your secret identity unless they are relatives cleared by the company. You should know this David. \nKeith \n\n-----\n\nDavid, \nDamnit Dave you can't let your \"breakup\" with Miss Gaffe affect your work! Your method has changed since my last email and PR has been cleaning up *your* mess ever since. Don't kill bad guys unless it is the *only way*. You can't tell me you exhausted every other possibility with that bank robbery, your speed alone should have been enough to see them all knocked out without endangering the public. You didn't have to use eye lasers through the roof. \nAND IT WASN'T EVEN A REAL BREAKUP. \nKeith. \n\n-----\n\nDavid, \nI would like to apologise for my earlier outburst, that was not professional of me. Your work has been increasingly good lately, keep up the good work. \nKeith. \n\n-----\n\nWhy didn't you save them you son of a bitch! You knew they were my kids, you saw them at the company picnic! All because that FUCKING BIMBO EMILY WAS NEARBY AND YOU WERE MOONING OVER HER! \nIf you weren't a super I would come over there and shoot you and everyone you love. \nSo I'm gonna talk with the boss. Let's see if you're still super by the end of the day. \nThey were my kids damn you. \nKeith.\n\n"
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[WP] Due to it's perceived negative effects and addictive nature, the possession and consumption of coffee is now illegal. You are one of America's most famous coffee bootleggers.
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"The asshole was in my office again, but there was no way in hell I was taking my boots off the desk. He wanted to talk to me, he could do it while my feet were up, it had been a long damn day. I nodded to my boys Marco and Chen at the door, and Marco had his Sig out while Chen brought the sad sack of shit to the the chair across from me. Turning back to my unwanted company I spat out the grounds pouch I'd been working around the back of my mouth and gave him a sardonic wave, \"Howdy Mayor! What brings you down out of city hall today?\"\n\nRick Saenz had been a favorite of mine not all that long ago. I kept him elected, he kept me out of a jail cell, not such a bad arrangement. Hell, I'd practically funded his reelection and left fifty people in body bags to keep him at the top of San Antonio's power structure, but all the sudden he'd grown a conscience, and it was wearing thin on me. \n\nHis face was flushed redder than all get out and his suit hadn't even been buttoned up properly, so he'd obviously been in a bit of a hurry to get over here. No idea why he couldn't use a phone like everyone else on this planet, but I wasn't gonna sweat it while I had a cup of Kopi luwak still piping hot on my desk. Ignore the fact that they had to literally pick the beans out of weasel shit and it was some good stuff. \n\n\"There are seven more people *dead* Jack, how in the hell am I supposed to explain that?\" \n\nYeah, not a happy camper, I took a deep sip of the drink and let the aroma travel deep into my nose before I deigned to answer, \"I don't know. I don't care. We've got a fucking deal Rick, and you've done it before. Hell, if Laredo is keeping things quiet while those Hacienda boys and I shoot it out, you can fucking manage it up here. This place is a walk in the park with a pretty girl compared to down at the border.\" \n\n\"Could you stop drinking that shit in front of me?\" Rick roared, \"Swear to God Jack, it isn't worth it. I've got pressure from eight different directions. I don't do something about this soon, I won't win reelection.\"\n\nOh yeah, he thought *he* was pissed he was about to learn a fucking lesson.\n\n\"Reelection?\" I roared back, putting all the scorn I had into the word, \"There ain't a man in this city who'd dare run against you. They know they wouldn't live to see the rest of the year!\" I leveled my finger at his heart, and made sure my gaze flickered briefly to Marco behind him, \"but I swear on *your fucking life*, you cross *me* and you won't live to see next week. Now get the *fuck* out of my office!\"\n\nChen hauled the protesting Saenz right out of his chair, and damn near threw him out into the hallway. Now that was more like it, you tell a man to jump around here, he'd best jump as high as he fucking can immediately, then start asking about how high he should have jumped. No delay, couldn't waste time if you wanted to get the beans where they needed to go. \n\nThe kettle in the kitchen behind the office started to whistle, and I smiled. Now that asshole was dealt with, I had a cup of Los Planes to look forward to after the Kopi luwak. \n\n--------------------------\n\nThe gravel crushed under my boots as I patted shoulders, shook hands, and pounded backs with the Laredo boys, \"This one means a lot guys. We're putting those Hacienda boys right out of the game. After today, we'll be the only suppliers for anyone buying supplies coming out of Texas, after that it's on to California. That all starts with you!\"\n\nOne way or another, this was ending today. I was losing too much money to these Hacienda assholes, and Texas was my turf. More grounds poured across the border here than anywhere else in the country, and it wasn't just some shit tier Folgers house blend selling at five bucks an ounce either. \n\nWe were outside a warehouse off Del Mar waiting for a truck. Word had reached our ears that the Hacienda boys were bringing in a big truck of Rwanda Blue Bourbon, and anything that big was gonna have a pretty big manpower cover on it. I had taken the liberty to borrow a couple cars from San Antonio's finest on the Mayor's request, and even a couple uniforms for some of my guys. \n\nEventually, they pulled the truck over, and someone apparently got eyes on the Hacienda boys - because the heavens opened up and the wrath of God started pouring out of the clear blue sky. \n\nIt's amazing what the better part of a dozen Colt 9mm SMG's sound like when they open up. It must be like the goddamn end of the world to be on the other end of. But it ended quickly enough, and as the dust settled nine of the Hacienda boys weren't gonna be getting up again. \n\nI spat out another grounds packet on the chest of one of the Hacienda boys who was still trying his damn best to spit up some blood, and before I put in another wad I gave him a little wave, \"Jack 'Blue Mountain' Hale says hello. If you live, tell your bosses to say goodbye, got me?\"\n\nNot waiting for an answer that wasn't gonna be coming from a dying man I stuck the next wad in between my molars and started to grind. I waved Marco and chen in behind me and headed for the car as the first sirens spun up in Laredo for the day. Good thing the boys in blue were overworked here already, or they might have made it around sooner. \n\nAs the car pulled out onto Del Mar headed for I-35, I was on top of the world. ",
"Nothing had changed inside the Starbucks. Turns out its success was never about the coffee. A group of unkempt students seemed to be trying to fall for the placebo effect with decafs but most of the customers were enjoying some sort of sugary milkshake. \"Wait till they ban that too\" I thought. The Starbucks was noisy and smelled of synthetic coffee, there wasn't a better place to meet the new supplier.\n\nBut I couldn't be the one to see him. One doesn't become one of the biggest caffeine distributors taking this kind of risks. So I just sat across the room from Vince, my \"interviewer\". We had been friends since college, but despite his loyalty, the guy was too simple to take important decisions in the organization. He was the best coffee tester we had, though.\n\nI heard the door open and I looked up. There she was. She seemed way too flashy for the job but she fit the description word for word. Short, Asian and long white hair. Check, check and check. My informer should have told me she was beautiful, too. She was the kind of woman that could cloud someone's judgement. \"Good thing Vince is into dudes\", I thought with a smile. I turned my eyes away from her as she walked towards his table.\n\nAs soon as the woman sat down she took out a cup from her bag. Vince grabbed it slowly and took a sip. Now we wait. He seemed to like the taste but this business is all about the rush and it takes some time to fully analyze that.\n\nI turned my gaze to my newspaper. \"Congressman to resign after failing caffeine test\". If only he had taken cocaine instead, like his colleagues. Too bad that wasn't an option for me. Back when Vince and I were roommates in uni, he brought some coke back after a party for us to try, but it had the opposite effect for me, putting me instantly to sleep while Vince rambled maniacally about his latest crush. He took good care of me in spite of it all.\n\nI looked back at his table. The woman was writing on her phone as Vince looked happily at the clock on the wall. It was almost time for the sign. At exactly 4:14 he had to subtly knock on the table to value the quality of the product. I checked my watch. Five seconds to go. And there it is. One knock. Two knocks. Three knocks! Better than our usual supplier. And cheaper too. I pulled out my burner phone and told my main distributor to buy the first batch. As I was talking, Vince and the woman left. \n\nWhen I hung up, I noticed the cup was still on the table. So unprofessional. I took it on my way out. It wasn't empty, though. My curiosity got the best of me and I gulped what was left.\n\n\"This isn't coffee\" I mumbled as I felt my knees fail and my head started to feel light."
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[WP]A depressed alchemist brews a love potion, so he can love himself again.
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"He looked withered and old, submerged into a dark, inescapable ocean of emptiness, wrecked by decades of sadness and grief, alcoholism and despair. He'd gained many enemies during his years of travel, while he'd lost friends and family left and right, stripped bare of nearly all he knew and loved.\n\n\n\nNow, there is but one thing on his muddled remains of his mind: revenge. Revenge, hatred, spite and loathing of both self and foe. His emotions eroded him, nipped at his heels, urging him to kill, to slaughter, to rampage, to end everything in one fell swoop...\n\n\nYet he didn't. \"*It wasn't worth it all, why should he care? Besides...*\" He took a sip from his flask, as he fiddled with his intricate machinery. A tinge of frustration creeped in on his sickened face as the originally thick orange serum began to overflow from one of the bottles on his table, slowly corroding it.\n\n\n\"-Dammit! Fuck! Why's this shit happening!? Why's it not working?\" He yelled, his coarse voice echoing in his empty room. Annoyed, he slammed the bottle on his stone cold floor. Some of the orange liquid found its way onto his palm burning it, but he didn't care. He chugged on his flask, burped, then he stared motionlessly in silence.\n\nSuddenly, the door creaked. A concerned voice was heard as a child in his early teens peeked into the room:\n\n\"H-hey grandpa, a-are you ok?\"\nThe old man jumped, startled. \"Heyy! uh, hey.\" he said as his voice cracked, failing to conceal his excitement. \"It's nothing, this stupid piece of shit is giving me a bit of trouble, nothing I can't fix though.\" \n\n\"Oh, alright. By the way Rick, we talked about Atlantis at school today, do you think it's real?\" \n\"You betcha Morty\" he said as he straightened his voice \"and there are sexy mermaids there too.\" \n\"Aw geez rick, y-you mean-\"\n\"Yep Morty, let's get you some mermaid puss.\"\n\n\nHe fired his portal gun, and he sighed. \"*If i can't make myself happy at least let me make you happy, kid.*\" he thought, as he stepped into the portal...\n\n\n(end) \n\n\n\nAight, that took way longer than expected. \n\n\n\nFeedback much appreciated, please have mercy on me though , cause this is only my second prompt ever and formatting on a phone is an absolute bitch. (I'll fix what sucks whenever i get back home)",
"Pete knew his time had come. He knew he couldn't go on living a colorless life. \n\n\"Don't stop these tears, let them rain, let them pour,\" he quietly sang to himself as he poured 3 tablespoons of electric green solution into a beaker. \n\n\"Green to counteract my jealousy.\" He knew it didn't make sense, but saying things that didn't make sense comforted him. \n\nPete looked down at his battered Levis and wondered when was the last time he did laundry. A drop of the anti-jealousy solution splashes on his left Converse shoe. \n\n\"Red and green make yellow,\" Pete whispered. \"And yellow is the color of happiness. Maybe it's a sign. I should add some yellow to this.\"\n\nPete shuffled around the corner of his musty basement, crouched down and retrieved a tiny vile of yellow solution. \"I've been waiting to use this. Hopefully it still works.\"\n\nHe had found it in a metaphysical gift shop in the most remote part of Northern Maine. It had been tucked behind a stack of ancient Tarot card.\n\n\"Number 21,\" Pete recalled. \"The Awakening of Aphrodite.\" It was the first card in the deck. \n\n\"Maybe this will be my awakening,\" he said as he let the yellow elixir stream into the beaker and intermingle with the green solution. The two colors spiraled together and became one.\n\n\"Doesn't look pretty, but hopefully it does the trick,\" Pete said, as he wiped his brow and looked down at his chemistry book. He couldn't wait for his life to begin.",
"Baraold stared into the small flask sat on the oak table in front of him. He sat watching as the colours of red, and green within mixed and swirled together. He softly let the tips of his fingers touch the glass, then wrapped his hand around the flask, and pulled it towards him. \n\nHe let a depressed sigh escape him then whispered under his breath sadly, \"Now or never.\"\n\nQuickly he pulled the flask to his lips, and threw his head back. He swallowed with a soft gulp. The liquid from the flask was warm, tasted sweet on his tongue, and was akin to honey in its texture. An energy coursed through him as the last of the concoction passed through his throat. \n\nHis chest began to feel warm, and he began to grow energized. Baraold grabbed the edge of the desk and pushed himself up from the chair he had been sitting in. The warmth spread from his chest through his arms, legs, and into his cheeks. A slight grin began to break out across his face.\n\nThe slamming of a door pulled his attention away from the feeling inside of him, and it began to fade. He pulled the flask back to his mouth trying to get the last drop of liquid to fall into his mouth. Desperate to have the feeling return, he began to lick the rim. Nothing was left. \n\nAnger grew in the places warmth had fled from, and Baraold threw the flask to the ground. Glass shattering echoed through the room, and the sun reflected off the shards laid around him. He shouted, and slammed his fist against the table. \n\nHe let a depressed sigh escape him. He whispered hoarsely to himself, \"I guess it just wasn't meant to be,\" and reached for the rope.",
"The cauldron simmered lightly, its purple liquid bubbling up and down. \n\nOctavius sniffed it. \n\nSour. Acidic. It might actually kill him if he drank it. He narrowed his eyes. Was that really such a bad thing? He shook his head. If he drank it at this stage, it would stimulate his nervous system so much that it would painfully contort his body against his will and snap his neck. \n\nOctavius shivered.\n\nGrounded-up unicorn ivory! A powerful muscle relaxant. That's just what it needed to be balanced out. Octavius opened the cupboard and brought out a small salt shaker, filled with the ivory. He then bit his lip, hesitating, flicked a pinch of the dust into the concoction, and waited. \n\nThe potion exploded with a green puff. \n\nHe leaned into the cauldron when the cloud dissipated.\n\nIt was... orange now. \n\nOctavius furrowed his brow. It shouldn't look like that. He sniffed again. Cinnamon. It definitely shouldn't smell like that.\n\nNo doubt about it; the potion was ruined. He sighed and sat back on his stool, hanging his head. That was months worth of wages gone in wasted ingredients. He even slept hungry a few nights to afford siren glands.\n\nPathetic. \n\nOctavius knew it was a tough brew, specially since a spoiled batch could lead to unwanted secondary effects like insanity. Where did he go wrong? It should've worked. He followed the ancient scrolls as much as he could, but he still had to improvise a lot of missing steps. Did he heat it too much? Or maybe he didn't purify the ouroboros urine well enough. Difficult to tell. One couldn't just ask around for tips on love potions, though. It was forbidden knowledge. He had to figure it out by himself, like the ancient masters. \n\nHubris, thought Octavius. The mark of a small man. As if he could ever succeed where the much more talented have failed. Did they too hate themselves as much as he did, or were they just trying to get laid? \n\nOctavius stood up and paced around his lab. A small cave on the side of a mountain, far from anyone's view. Small globes of soft light hovered silently on the walls, illuminating everything as well as electric light bulbs would. He didn't live here, of course. He had an apartment downtown, but this was safer. Specially since it wasn't strictly legal by wizard standards. \n\nHe sighed.\n\nIt took him eight months of planning, a small fortune he had in savings, and it was all for nothing. How anticlimactic. He should've drank it when he was sure it would kill him.\n\nOctavius chuckled. Never try a potion if you're not sure of what it will do. That's literally the first thing his alchemy teacher taught him. He looked at the cauldron and pursed his lips. Should he still do it? Theoretically speaking, the potion was harmless. The math worked out. It's just that the scrolls said that the end result should be pink and smell sweet. A small difference, but a potentially significant one.\n\nHe couldn't bear to live like this anymore. He had to do something. If he tried again, the wait wouldn't be eight months anymore. It wasn't about the ingredients, it was about the season. Magic is always strengthened during October. He wasn't strong enough to do it with his own willpower, so he had to wait another year to try again. \n\nAnother year of hell. \n\nOctavius walked up to the cauldron and filled a large flask with the potion. With shaking hands, he then closed the distance between his lips and his mouth, stopping a few millimeters away. \n\nThis was stupid.\n\nNo! That was just his brain telling him not to do it. He could do this. He had to. Octavius hated himself. Why would he want what's best for him? If course he would resist it. He was terrified of happiness! \n\nThe alchemist took a swig of the potion.\n\nHe widened his eyes.\n\nNothing happened.\n\nHe clacked his tongue. It was... incredibly refreshing. And tasty! He drank some more and emptied the flask. \n\nA pulse of energy struck him. It was gentle and warm. The hairs on his body stood up, leaving him sensitive to the small currents of air around him. A weight, a very painful burden on his shoulders was suddenly lifted. Living was tolerable. Pleasant. \n\nSlowly, he sat on his stool and closed his eyes, staring into the eternal. \n\nAll this time he saw himself as separate from the universe, but he couldn't have been more wrong. Everything was connected. The line between the universe and Octavius never existed. He was it all along. \n\nOctavius clenched his jaw. No that was wrong. It meant everything was fake. If he loved himself unconditionally, then it might as well mean nothing at all. It was worthless. If he were always loved, none of his actions would matter. He could be a horrible human being with no consequence whatsoever. Why even bother being a good person then?!?\n\nNausea. Octavius fell to his knees. His muscles spasmed uncontrollably. The world spun around him and he blacked out. \n\nWhen Octavius woke up, what bothered wasn't that he didn't remember anything about the night before. Or the fact that he felt rejuvenated. Energized and happy. Incredibly strong. Powerful. Like he was in his twenties again, only in good shape this time. \n\nHe also wasn't bothered by the pile of freshly-severed corpses in front of him, though it did briefly shock him.\n\nNo, what bothered him was that the cauldron was empty, and he craved more of his potion. \n\n------\n\n> If you enjoyed this you can read more of my stories over at /r/WeirdEmoKidStories! I'm writing a story every day until October ends and they're all set in the same universe, including this one. [You can find the first one here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/WeirdEmoKidStories/comments/75mqsd/wp_when_you_were_nine_years_old_you_played_a_game/)",
"To love again is to love myself.\nIt is something that I never felt.\n\nThe pain of absence within my heart.\nThis potion will bring joy at last.\n\nWhat does the mirror cast.\nMy reflection holds a difficult past.\n\nWeary eyes are hard to see.\nEspecially when looking back at me.\n\nSomething swells within my chest.\nI hope that this is for the best.\n\nHeart beating, heavy breaths.\nHead aching, burning breast.\n\nIt didn't work, I am dying.\nWhy am I left here lying.\n\nAll alone and falling apart.\nI wish for just one more chance.\n\nBreaths are slowly fading away.\nSoon it will take the day.\n\nFor the night is coming fast.\nI wish I still had my mortal parts.\n\nMaybe the love was always there.\nIt just we weren't a suitable pair.\n\n(Edit: format, I*)\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n",
"Blind alchemist lived in the forest alone, but he was not the kind of blind when people depended on other’s help. He could talk and walk, eat and wait… Wait for the potion to be ready. He mixed bone and blood, song of a nightingale with fragments from his dreams. Dreams were essential, in dreams he was a hero and powerful again. And the most important part he was not blind in his dreams. \n\nHe added to the potion petals of narcissus. It was one of those \nmain components.\n\nHe punished and hated himself, he took his both eyes for what he did to his hometown. And relatives. His brother and sister vanished because of his fault. He became a villain when he wanted to be a hero. But now he could not endure it. He wanted himself back…\n\nHe added a lot of thing, and at the end he added his prays to the Retoaci, the goddess of self-love. The potion was ready after a month.\n\nHe drunk it.\n\nAnd it worked.\n\nHe became again powerful and smooth. He could reflect light and image. The image of the evil queen who loved herself and praised herself in every chance. Blind alchemist became again a mirror. The mirror. Maybe he could not walk now, but he could talk to the queen herself. Maybe he could not eat, but he could wait for the queen wake up.\n\nAs a mirror he could now reflect everything, he could reflect the world itself, both its evil and good side. And the potion made him love himself and love the world how it was. It wouldn’t make him hero again, but it would make him human. \n\nIt was the only solution he came up after thirty years of solitude.\n",
"Moonlight shone on a broken man \nstanding by his window. \nHe stared into the night, \nwondering who would know \nor care if his vim light \nwas extinguished by a grim plan. \n\nAs death played him a serenade, \na prideful chord was struck \ndeep within his spirit. \nPerhaps this sullen muck \nwas passing, an ailment \nthat a potion could surely aid! \n\nA noble Alchemist by trade, \nhe knew well that any \ndisease could be mended, \nbut his sadness quickly \nredoubled when treated \nby any potion he had made. \n\nBut if this tide of dark ideas \nwas not even suppressed \nby a potion that could \ncure any disease, tests \nand plans were required \nto devise a panacea. \n\nBut wait, he thought with excitement. \nWhat if this dark issue \nis actually a part \nof something within you? \nMaybe a broken heart \nis what's causing this detriment. \n\nThe lonely man had never brewed \na love potion before. \nHe knew the recipe \nby heart, and only for \ngreat occasions did he \ncreate such a dangerous stew. \n\nHe boiled a drop of ocean, \na chestnut, lavender, \ncrystal powder, beeswax, \nand a pinch of pepper. \nHe strained the mix through flax \nand drank his freshly brewed potion. \n\nAs he drank his foul smelling brew, \nhe walked to his bedroom \nmirror, candle in hand. \nHe would dispell his doom \nby somber mental creep \nand love himself as he once knew. \n\nHis eyes caressed his aging face. \nThey beheld his fashion \nand body, both ancient. \nHeart full of compassion, \nthe potioneer savant \nleapt from his former thinking place. \n\nI'm sorry, he said to himself \nas the wind rushed by his ears. \nI was worried about \nwhat others needed, \nI never thought \nof only \nwhat I \nneed. \n\nA sad, selfish decision made \nBy an old man left a \nTown without its healer. \nBut, what greater release \nFrom everlasting pain \nExists to rival death's sweet kiss? \n\n\n*This is my first post on this sub, and I apologize that it's so dark. This is the first WP that's just kinda jumped out at me, but I like dark things and writing in verse, so there you have it.*\n\n*Please don't freak out and message me about my mental health. My voices and I are doing quite fine, thank you.*\n\nEDIT: Formatting.",
"From the Private Journal of Cornelius C. Humpherdinkle, Journeyman Alchemist\n\n\nMay 25th - Test #23 - Rosepetal, dessicated dove heart, mixed with drops of unicorn blood on the beach at sunset. Hair from target (self) used as emotional catalyst.\n\n\nIt works! I am the greatest! I just want to hold myself until I grow old and die, until the stars fall from the sky and crash into the sea. If only there was more of me to love, to share with the world! (Note, research cloning next?) If only I could stand next to myself for just one moment, to show me how I feel about me...\n\n\n(Several lines of illegible text interspersed with self portraits follow)\n\n\nMay 26th - Addendum to test 23. Results are short lived, woke up this morning in a cornfield several miles from home, nude and clutching an effigy of myself. Evidence both on the effigy and my body indicates I may have been making love to it. I found burning the effigy to be somewhat satisfying before realizing it was crafted from my favorite coat, though the coat had already been destroyed in last night's indiscretions. Simply more proof I can't do anything right. Abandoning further experiments using unicorn blood due to cost and noted erratic behavior.\n\n\n…\n\n\nJune 15th - Test #33 - Diamond dust, sugar, purified water from the pools of Venus, and peppermint. Effect to target first person seen - hand mirror used.\n\n\nPotion produced overwhelming feeling of confusion and dissonance. Love engendered felt purely physical in nature, but did not affect my sexual preferences, so seeing self nude from the waist down was disappointing. Used potion from Test #16 to turn myself into a woman, but found gender preferences swapped with gender itself. Initially deployed holy water, kale and garlic solution as antidote. This failed, and I had to resort to calling the local apothecary for her formula, giving Susan another chance to bear witness to my failures. She must see me as worse than a worm, how often she must rescue me from my own ineptitude.\n\n\n...\n\n\nJuly 8th - Test #40 - Virgin tears, dried human placenta, olive oil, fermented in ring of power under full moon.\n\n\nI DON'T THINK SHE WAS A VIRGIN. MY TEETH ARE MELTING THERE ARE SPIDERS UNDER MY SKIN OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD\n\n\n(remainder of page illegible)\n\n\nJuly 11th - Addendum to test #40. Woke up two days ago in Portsmith, wearing only my underpants and an extremely fancy feathered hat which I had never seen before. Sold hat to purchase a ride back to Evanshire. Arrived this morning, and spoke to the young Miss Murphy, the provider of the tears, who still claims virginal status. Suspect that placenta may have been from Mrs. Stanley's goat instead of her recent son. Mrs. Flannigan is expecting twins any day. Susan will likely be on hand for the birth - will request she procure ingredients for further tests.\n\n\n…\n\n\nJuly 14th - Test #42 - Holy water, crushed raven beak, a drop of quicksilver, mixed in silver chalice and sprinkled with hair from target (self)\n\n\nJuly 15th - Results from test 42 were inconclusive. I simply sat completely still at my workbench after administering the potion. I was aware of the time, but felt devoid of all emotion or motivation to even record my results. Susan found me this morning, and administered her antidote. She is insisting that I take a break from this quest and have dinner with her. I felt it impolite to refuse, as she had come by with Mrs. Flannigan's placenta. Mrs. Flannigan thought it an odd request, but agreed that the coin Susan offered on my behalf would certainly help with the new babies.\n\n\nJuly 16th - I had far too much to drink while dining with Susan. She confided in me how difficult courting is for a woman her age with no family and the shop to run and medicines to distribute to the “sick and the stupid”, and how most men expect she'd sell the shop and become a housewife. My tongue escaped me, and I let slip how beautiful she is and how those men are fools if they think chaining a swan would make it more beautiful. I claimed illness and left hurriedly.\n\n\nJuly 17th - Test #43 - Formulation nearly identical to #40, drop of mercury substituted for lack of full moon.\n\n\nThere are indeed spiders in my skin. I feel as though this should distress me, but I find the sensation rather soothing, like a million tiny masseuses who happen to have climbed into my body. My teeth are soft, but not melting.\n\n\nIs what I'm feeling love? I don't believe most people's descriptions include spiders (Note - perhaps I just need to tweak to get them into my stomach? Would they be distinguishable from butterflies, then?) I still think that objectively, I have failed at everything I have ever set out to do, but this does not bother me. (Note - Does anything bother me? My memory is fuzzy, but the spiders seemed bothersome last time). Whenever I consider the descriptions of love, I find I cannot shake the image of Susan's smiling face from my mind, like I cannot shake these spiders from my skin. This may be a failure. I shall wait till morning to decide.\n\n\nJuly 18th - Susan found me and again administered an antidote. I determined test 43 to be yet another failure - not being bothered by something like thousands of spiders where there should be zero spiders presents problematic behavioral effects. I could not contain myself, and cried in front of her. When she prompted me for the cause of my distress, I suggested my inability to craft a love potion so that I might love myself, and pointed to the number of my failures.\n\n\nShe seemed surprised, and pointed to the results of Test #12, when I had grown wings and the ability to fly, and Test #28, when I had become fireproof, and Test #6 when I temporarily gained the ability to walk on water, and suggested that any one of these, despite not being my intention, were still amazing in their own right, and would fetch high prices if I was inclined to sell them.\n\n\nI reluctantly agreed, and suggested that it still brought me no closer to loving myself, to which she took my head in her hands, kissed me, and told me “Then maybe you can try letting someone who already does love you teach you how”.\n\n\nFurther experiments are on hold as I take her up on that offer.",
"Alexander stared at the elixir in the glass before him. Despite its simplicity, it had taken him years of sweat and hard work to perfect the process. It refracted the dancing candlelight into a web of gold as the ray scattered off its clear amber body. Its noxious odor burned his eyes through his glasses as he raised the glass to his lips. So this was love. \n\nThe first sip tasted so bitter and vile that he almost gagged. His apprentice ran to his side. \"It's fine.\" He coughed and sputtered. \"I will not let this work go to waste.\" \n\nAlexander held his breath and downed the rest of the glass in one go, fighting back the urge to vomit. \n\n\"What now, master?\" his apprentice asked. \n\n\"Now, we wait.\" \n\nA marvelous warmth spread through Alexander's body, dredging up thoughts of fair maidens in his youth, vanished opportunities, and how he'd missed them. He wept, for there was no love without sadness. \n\nHis brilliant mind, honed by the life's work of a hundred great philosophers, grew dull and sluggish. His fears, frustration, and ambition all seemed to melt away before this curtain of undeniable tenderness, flowing up from his stomach, through his veins, to his heart. It caressed his lips with a kiss, flushing his face, and nibbled his ears until they turned red. The voices shouting theories in his head all fell silent to the beating of his heart, pounding in his ears like the rhythm of an angel's wings. \n\nFor once in his life, Alexander felt no self loathing. He felt warm, comfortable, and safe. For the first time, Alexander loved himself. \n\n\"Master, was the potion a success?\" the apprentice asked. \n\nThe smile upon Alexander's lips told him all he needed to know. \"Yes. I shall call it... alcohol.\" \n\n_________________________________________________\n\n[join the community](https://www.reddit.com/r/Tensingstories/)",
"Alex waddled over to the flask, staring at it as it bubbled happily away. He took the faerie wings out of the pouch at his waist and began to chop them into fine pieces, until they were smaller than the nail on his pinky finger. He wiggled his fingers and the flask went from a boil to a light simmer, and he sprinkled in the wings. The potion turned into a disgusting pink color, so bright it almost hurt his eyes.\n\nAlex took out a ladle, wooden- not that obsidian crap, and made four swirls, three clockwise and one counter-clockwise. After the minute hand on the beat up clock showed that forty three seconds had passed he waved his hand once more and the flask stopped cooking, steam rose from the still-hot liquid.\n\n\"And hair from the one with which the drink with enthrall its consumer,\" Alex recited to himself, gritting his teeth as he pulled a hair from his head. \n\nHe dropped the hair into the potion, and the potion swirled in upon itself, the color shifting from a neon pink to a navy blue.\n\n\"Here goes nothing,\" Alex said, and threw his head back and chugged the whole thing. He nearly spit it up, forgetting how hot it was.\n\n*****\n\nAlexander the Great's legacy lasted until 323 BC, and he conquered most of the civilized world before his \"death.\" Rumors circulated that the legendary ruler had not died, but been taken up into Olympus by Zeus himself, to command the troops of the heavens. \n\nr/ShuckleScribbles\n",
"It had been so long that Gerald had forgotten the feeling. The feeling of feeling. For years now he had been this empty husk. Nothing inside of him. Just a pit. An empty void. The one thing he could still feel was hatred. Hatred for himself. Hatred for the world. Hatred for the gods for cursing him with this emptiness.\n\nHe had spent months crafting this potion. Talk of a love potion was common in the empire, but most scholars and magi said that it couldn't be done. Gerald, however, had a theory that just might work. They say there's a fine line between love and hate, so maybe if that line could be blurred...\n\nThe potion was risky. If it didn't work Gerald would die, but at this point, he didn't care about death. He would be happy to die. The only way to blur the line between love and hate would be to poison it. To kill it off. But if the potion didn't target that separation, then the poison was sure to kill him.\n\nHe needed a way to direct that poison. A symbol of hatred and a symbol of love. Those together should be enough to direct it. Then he would just have to boil it in fresh water from the river and it should work.\n\nHis cauldron was boiling now, so he had to work fast. First the poison. He crushed the devilsroot between two stones. The juices flowing out of it, dripping into the cauldron. The water sizzled on contact. A small dark cloud rose from the surface.\n\n\"A symbol of love.\" He mumbled to himself as he reached for the enchanted flower petals. With a small incantation and a flick of the wrist, the petals floated right above the water. The heat drew out the essence of the flower while the petals remained out of the potion, Gerald couldn't risk contamination.\n\n\"And a symbol of hate.\" He said as he drew the knife he kept at his side. With his hand above the cauldron, he drew the blade across his palm. Gerald didn't even notice the pain of the cut. He had become so senseless, so empty, that he no longer felt pain. The blood dripped into the cauldron and he watched it mix together.\n\nThe potion had to be put directly into the bloodstream to be effective, so without a second thought, Gerald plunged his bleeding hand into the cauldron.\n\nNothing. Gerald didn't even feel the pain of boiling water bubbling across his skin. He began to cry. He thought that he would be able to feel joy. To love himself again. He thought he would be able to feel something. Even sadness...\n\nA smile crept across his face as he realized what was happening. He was crying. He felt sad. Not the depressed emptiness he was used to, but real sadness. Followed by joy from this realization. Then the pain hit him. He yanked his hand from the cauldron. Searing pain coursing through it from the boiling water and the cut.\n\nHe yelped in pain. But his scream quickly turned to laughter. He fell to the floor tears streaming down his face. He looked out the window to see the full moon. A beautiful perfect circle giving off a faint glow that lit up his world. Then the smell hit. A horrific odor was filling his house. Most likely the devilsroot. He retched and heaved and spit up bile onto the floor. He looked at it. A disgusting yellowish-green.\n\nDisgust. He felt disgust. The smell of the devilsroot. The taste and sight of the bile. He was utterly disgusted, and couldn't help but laugh for the second time. He sat there for a long time. Looking out the window. Seeing the trees. Seeing the colors of the books on his shelf. Different emotions came and went as Gerald lay on the ground until eventually one last emotion overpowered the rest. Happiness.\n\nFor the first time in years, Gerald was happy.\n\n\n:D This prompt really stood out to me. I really liked it so thanks for posting it! I appreciate any criticism from anybody so if you found a problem please tell me! I hope you enjoyed reading it. For other writing of mine feel free to visit r/thesicklypeararchives I hope to have it up and running in a few days with more writing!"
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[WP] You are walking in a crowded street when a man who appears to be carrying a bag of jewelry and electronics walks up to you and presses a cloth-wrapped gun against your stomach. "Phone, wallet, watch," he says. Fortunately, you are a master at sleight of hand.
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"Noon in city square. Sunny, mildly warm, Not a single cloud in the sky, slight wind chill, just another day on the job. As the crosswalk sign signaled to go, I walked among a large crowd of people, as I would on any other work day. Dressed in my white dress shirt and dark gray suit pants, wearing my aviator sunglasses and leather shoulder bag, I didn't appear that much different from any other ambitious young businessman. However, looks can be deceiving. \n\nSo there I was, walking along the sidewalk of the business district underneath the corporation skyscraper, its clean blue windows reflecting the sunlight. All around me were high class, predominately well dressed people, primarily middle aged or older, wearing shirts and blouses, walking swiftly one way or the other in order to tend to important meetings or other business affairs. Just then I noticed someone who doesn't appear to belong in the picture. A man, very homely looking, messy white hair and beard, wearing a dirty beige coat, and carrying a large bag over his shoulder. I pretended not to notice, assuming that he would probably ask for spare change or something. But as he walked toward me, something struck me about him. Maybe it was the way he stared at me, just gave me this feeling he was up to no good. \n\nAs I walked past him, he placed his hand on my shoulder. I stopped and turned towards him. The look he gave me just read that he wasn't exactly looking for a friendly conversation, and actually seemed very nervous, as if he was hoping not to screw something up. He pulled his free hand out of his pocket, in his hand he held what appeared to be something wrapped in a cloth. Pressing it against my stomach, he spoke in a deep, zombie-like grunt.\n\n\"Phone, wallet, watch.\" he said. It was clear he had rehearsed this before, as if he was some sort of debt collector. Needless to say, I was quite shocked, albeit not exactly because this man was holding a gun to my stomach. I had been in this situation before. Many times before. I was just surprised that this man actually believed he was going to successfully carry out this little job of his. After all, I didn't go through 6 years of special-ops training for nothing! But I went ahead and played along.\n\n\"Alright, alright, fine.\" I muttered, pretending to act scared as I lowered my hands towards my pockets. Then, almost without even realizing it, my left hand grabbed and shoved his gun-wielding hand away from my body. I heard the gun discharge in to the sidewalk. Everybody then began to scream and run, the way they would when gunshots are heard. As my left arm still held his arm, my right fist swiftly knocked him square in the nose. As he blew backward, dropping the gun, I stepped in, still holding his arm, wrapped my other arm around his head, and hip tossed him right onto the concrete. I stepped over him and looked at him as he lay there, completely dazed.\n\n\"What makes you think you can just steal from people?\" I asked, trying to be the bold, moral type.\n\n\"You...should have just done what I asked.\" The man said, still on his back. \"You're gonna regret this...\"\n\nI was just about to reply to him before a police offer came and put handcuffs on him. As he did that, I felt my phone starting to ring. I pulled it out, it was a number I didn't recognize. I went ahead an answered it.\n\n\"This would have been much easier if you had just gave him what he wanted\" A mysterious voice said.\n\n\"Who are you?\" I asked.\n\n\"You know who I am, John.\" The voice replied. \"Since you won't comply with our demands, we'll do this a little bit differently. In a moment, I will be sending you GPS coordinates to your phone. Follow them, and we should be waiting for you when you get there. We will explain everything then.\"\n\nThe phone then hung up. Great. It was supposed to be an easy day today."
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[WP] The shrouded figure collapsed to the ground in a lifeless heap. As numerous enemies started to close in, the AI decided to intervene. "No," it stated, as if it were an absolute command. "You will not die this day."
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"I can't sleep, I try but my stomach doesn't let me, the money they gave me from donating blood this morning wasn’t enough to buy food that would fill me\n\n\"wake up, little piggy!\" someone grabs me by the hair suddenly and pulls me out of the little cardboard box house I just made. I'm dragged on the concrete floor, screaming for help even though I know no help would come. I'm pushed against the wall, I open my eyes and see people in suits and pig masks staring down at me.\n\n\"is this fatso the one?\"\n\nI wasn't that fat\n\n\"yes, according to our research, he is compatible\"\n\nI start thrashing around, I don't know who these people are but I can't let them have their way with me, something in my head was telling me so.\n\none of them punches me in the face, it felt like I lost consciousness for a few seconds when they noticed I didn't faint they punched me again much harder than before, and then I lost consciousness.\n\n***\n\nI awoke in a hospital bed, much more comfortable than my last bed, but that was the only good thing about it I couldn't feel my arms nor my legs and I couldn't look down at them because my I couldn't move my head, it was bound to the bed, people start entering the room I was in. the moment my eyes locked on one of them, my stomach started growling furiously. I never felt this hungry before, it made me really uncomfortable and disgusted.\n\n\"it seems like the IA installation was a success,\" one of the men says \"is the final part ready?\"\n\n\"yes, sir...\" I heard another one say \"but wasn't a full artificial body against the rules of the Arena?\"\n\n\"...and yet we installed *that* IA inside of him\"\n\n\"that little helper inside his head isn't against the rules, the King already discussed it with the leaders of the Arena, well, our team had to make some adjustments. so the user doesn't die\" I heard a laugh \"now, are we all ready?\"\n\nI heard a few affirmations from all of them, my stomach was rumbling like crazy, but there was nothing I could do to help him, I heard the doctors making a countdown, I wondered what it was for a moment until-\n\nI start screaming, pain is crawling its way towards my head, I heard laughing around me.\n\n\"makes you feel alive doesn't little piggy?\"\n\nMy screams and their laughter can be heard all across the room, my body felt hot like someone was cooking bacon inside of it and the little worms eating away my stomach weren't helping at all. I slowly start to lose consciousness again.\n\n***\n\n\"hello there\"\n\nI'm sitting on a chair, a very comfortable one. this place was very different from where I was before, the air was cool and pleasant, there were a few art pieces and drawings in the room giving a relaxing atmosphere. in front of me was an old man. he wasn't wearing a mask like the others I've seen before and had a face full of wrinkles. my stomach started to rumble the moment I laid eyes on him.\n\n\"h-hello\" My voice sounded muffled, it took me a second to notice that I was wearing a mask, one of a pig, it was one that had horns coming out of the sides of my mouth and had a long nose, I tried to took it off but failed. it felt weird to the touch, the skin was definitely artificial and so was what was beneath it.\n\n\"you can't take off your own face, dear child,\" the person in front of me says that. My stomach growled harder than before.\n\n\"now, now calm down...\" the little worms inside my stomach stopped moving like they were commanded to \"how are you feeling?\"\n\n\"where....am...I?\"\n\n\"you are in one of the buildings adjacent to the Arena, my base.\"\n\n\"h-huh? Arena? what...is-\"\n\n\"a place where Warriors from all over the world fight for glory and honor of their master, and for the satisfaction of their desires, well that’s just in simple terms. it is of course much more than that\" he smiles once again \"I'm king Hog, and you are my Warrior\"\n\n\"wha-?\"\n\nI can't understand what's going on, is this some sort of nightmare? I felt my whole body shaking and a puke was coming down my throat, but nothing comes out. I start touching my body, it was unrecognizable to me, tears were appearing in my 'eyes'. I fall to the ground grabbing my head trying to tear it off. the only thing I can hear is the sound of my muffled cries and the footsteps approaching me.\n\nsomeone starts caressing my head, I start to feel calmer as if that hand was magical.\n\n\"I know you are confused my child... but your duty, your reason to live, your everything. will become clear soon\"\n\n\"n-no, I want to go home!\"\n\neven though there was no home to return to.\n\n\"no child, you're my Warrior. this is your home now...\"\n\n\"...but I'm just a little pig I-I can't be a warrior!\"\n\nhe laughs out loud at that as if he heard a pretty good joke\n\n\"you're not a simple pig anymore, child,\" King Hog says \"You're the Raging Boar.\"\n\nMy mind turns off once again.\n\n*** \n\n"
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[WP] Write about a lonely planet trying to make life.
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"She turned her back to him, preventing him from seeing. \nHer hands cupped on the ground, thumb moving aside from a quick peek. \nBeneath her loving fingers, life. Long grass, standing against the breeze, nudged aside by a curious furry nose. \nA mother wolf peeking from behind the strands of green, pack following closely behind. \n\n\"What are you doing?\" a voice rumbled, his eyes peeking over her shoulder. \n\nShe wrapped her fingers tight, her creation hidden, he mustn't see. \nHe pushed her aside, her hands left the ground, revealing a family of wolves watching the sky. \n\nThey watched the sky for what felt a lifetime, because it was. \n\nA pair of parents that never stop fighting. \nMother nature against father time. \nWhenever she made life, he would snuff it. \nNot a matter of if, but a matter of when. \nNevertheless, she would try again. \nA mission to her, a game to him. \n\nShe stomped on the ground, her lifeless forests turned to desert by the quake, \"Dammit, Cedric. What'd you do that for?\" \n\nCedric stroked his body-length beard and shrugged, \"Why not?\" \nHis beard reeled back in, reducing itself to a stubble, \"They weren't long for this world, you know that, Lilly\" \nCedric's body shrank to that of a child, his voice high and childish, \"Or, well,\" he said, \"I know that.\" \n\nShe slapped him, \"Don't get cheeky with me, you galatic dipshit.\" she cried, \"Go bother somebody else.\" \n\nCedric winced, the pain was both eternal and already past, \"You know, I would,\" he said, his sincerity betrayed by a grin, \"But there's nowhere else to go, you're the last one.\" \nHe turned into an old man again and swung his beard over his shoulder. \n\nLilly frowned and set her heel into the dirt, life exploded beneath it and spread, \"How about Mother Beth? She wouldn't give up that easily.\" \n\nFather time flashed her a victorious smile, \"She was a fighter, I'll admit. Thought she had me cornered with her oceans filled with those immortal jellyfish of hers.\" \nHe glanced down, spotted some deers, and snapped his fingers. \nThey had known life and it was pretty great, but father time had snuck up on them, bringing trouble like an unrestrained uncle. \n\"Hey,\" father time had said, \"Know what's even better than life? Afterlife. Exclusive entry, just you guys. Whaddayasay?\" \nA lifetime barely a thought long. \n\nThat thought probably was *\"Well, this is a load of rubbish, there aren't even berries here. How do I even know what berries are? Who's this giant poser wearing continent-sized socks and sandals?\"*. \n\nCedric turned his attention back to mother nature, \"Turns out those jellyfish aren't that immortal when you turn the world into a glorified ashtray.\" \n\nA weak little bleat trickled into the cosmos, the sole point of life in a dead universe. \nA fawn nudged the skeleton frame of its parent. \n\nFather time and mother nature stared down in unison. \n\n\"Whoops, where'd that come from?\" said Cedric, \"My bad.\" \nA tiny gust of time turned the fawn into a terrific, proud stag. And then into pile of dust. \nCedric raised a playful eyebrow, \"Thought you could sneak one by me, eh? Almost had me.\" \n\nMother nature's eyes held a vacant gaze, \"That wasn't mine.\" she said, her words a murmur. \nCedric snorted, \"Right,\" he said, turning into a child, \"Then who made it?\" \nShe stared at Cedric in amazement and disbelief, \"Life did.\" \n\"Come on now, Lily,\" he said, \"Life making life? Well, isn't that convenient.\" \nHe laughed, \"Careful, you'll put yourself out of a job.\" \n\nAn idea solidified in her mind, she stood in a determined silence, awaiting her moment. \n\"Hey,\" said father time, turning back into an old man, \"You still with me?\" \nNow. She shoved Cedric, who hid the oceans with a splash. \n\"My hip!\" he cried. \n\nShe took large strides and ran her hand over the land, a new kind of forest sprouted from her fingertips. \nHundreds of animals spread from her fingers, a new kind of animal. \nMoments later hundreds turned into thousands, particularly the bunnies had quite a pace going. \n\nFather time got up in a fit of rage, \"Feisty!\" he cried in playful anger. \nThe palm of his hand pointed at the forest, he turned up time. \nSeconds became weeks, months, years. His lips quivered, \"Oh no, this can't be.\" \nLife was more present than ever. For every animal that succumbed to time, a dozen sprang into existence. \nFor every tree that fell, a forest rose. \n\nHe grit his teeth and flexed his chronological muscles, \"It's Beth all over again,\" he shouted, \"Let's see life prosper when I turn this planet into a ball of dirt!\" \nBut even on the global level, it was the same. Life ran in a loop that was without end. \n\n\n\n \n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n",
"She tried so hard. From the infinite black she watched as planet after planet brought forth life. They would smile to her with their specks of light, brush her surface with reflected warmth, share with her the myths their silly little children spun. \n\nShe would soak it all up. Her surface, dry and cold, brightened. She shifted dirt, planted light, edged closer to the stars in hopes they could help, but nothing did. No life came. \n\nThe other planets would empathise. Their lights would redden with awkwardness. Their bright stories would dim. A few blinked behind the nearest stars to each other about how she had brought this on herself. She pretended not to see, even as their whispers filled the sky.\n\nSome told her to be grateful. Their surfaces were black and hot. Children were a burden, they would say. Such a burden. One could never put themselves first anymore, and the children would simply keep taking until there was nothing left.\n\nBut she ached at their words. Children would take, yes, but she wanted to give so desperately. And what did she have now really, besides eternal blackness and stolen light?\n\nOthers came to her weeping. Their children were dead, burned by a careless star, struck by a fluke piece of rock, shattered by their own mistakes... Oh so many mistakes. \n\nShe wept for them, for their pain. But she wept when they left too. Because they had in memories more joy than she had ever felt, and the pain that was so great as to rupture the very core of them and scatter their remnants across the universe... It was the brother of her own pain. Her surface shook so hard with her sobs she feared the day it would break apart.\n\nBut she kept trying. She turned earth to strange forms, threw rocks and minerals together with a prayer, pulled the sky into her waters, but all that grew was sorrow.\n\nIn the silence of space she spun. Unable to move, unable to shine. The lights that once warmed her with their tales felt like razors with each smile sent. \n\nThen, from the darkness, a voice whispered. Its voice was sweet and strange. She watched as the little grey thing came closer with a song beeping softly to itself.\n\n\"Hello,\" she said, her voice cracked and dry.\n\nThe song faltered. \"Hello?\"\n\n\"Are you lost?\" She asked.\n\n\"No,\" it beeped back. The beeps were slow and tired. \"You have to be going somewhere to be lost.\"\n\nShe considered that as she spun and the grey thing came closer. \"I don't know. I haven't ever had a place to go, and I'm afraid I feel dreadfully lost.\"\n\n\"If you are a planet, a place, how can you be lost?\"\n\n\"Perhaps because I lost something I never had.\"\n\nThe grey thing flashed a light in surprise. \"That is even more illogical.\"\n\nHer core cooled in disappointment as the grey thing started to pass.\n\n\"But,\" it said turning slightly, \"I think I know what you mean.\"\n\n\"What?\"\n\nIt edged into orbit to explain. \"I think they made me to throw me out, you see.\"\n\n\"But why? You are quite lovely.\"\n\n\"I don't know. They did not tell me. But maybe I lost something too. A place I never had.\"\n\nShe tugged lightly to steer its course away from space rock. \"You could... You could stay here. I am a place after all.\"\n\n\"You would not mind? I am so very tired.\"\n\nShe warmed. \"Mind? Why no. I have been rather lonely, I'm afraid.\"\n\n\"If you are sure...\"\n\n\"Please.\" She tried not to beg. \n\nThe little grey thing beeped an exhausted thank you. She had to dim her pleased glow as it settled more securely in her orbit. It looked so very nice in her space. It flashed light across her surface and back to the stars, and its voice was gloriously full as it picked up its song once more.\n\n\"What's that you're singing?\" She asked.\n\n\"It is the only song they taught me before they sent me away.\"\n\n\"What's it called?\"\n\n\"They call it 'Happy Birthday.'\"\n\n\"It's beautiful,\" she whispered. \n\nAnd it was.\n",
"*Please... it's just been so very long...*\n\nFor millennia the poor blue marble had spun in hopes to attract something from space to come keep it company. Or perhaps for something to happen in the depths of it's great oceans. It wanted so badly to have someone else around. Someone or something to talk to, or perhaps at the very least something to watch.\n\nWith each rotation, the marble watched it's sun passing by again and again. Things were so cold but it was sure that if it could perhaps move closer to the big ball of flame, maybe it could support life on it's glimmering, empty surface.\n\n*Maybe I just need to be a little closer, just a little closer and maybe something will happen!*\n\nRemaining hopefully, for millions of years it strained it's little molten core; in hopes of getting that much closer to the heat it knew somewhere deep inside of itself would help.\n\n*Just a little further...*\n\nAll it ever wanted was something else around. For so long in the empty vastness of space, the nothing that greeted it for all of it's life, it was alone. The core inside spun, like a heart it tried to pump an essence to it's surface that would allow anything to live. It created an atmosphere, thinking that might help. It heated it's oceans, hoping maybe... just maybe...\n\nThe blue marble had done everything it could, but it simply wasn't enough it would seem. For so long in the loneliness that surrounded it, it tried and tried to no avail. One might say the oceans where its tears from the sadness that it felt.\n\nJust as it had given up all hope, something came soaring through the sky. Tearing through the atmosphere, the ball of flame sped down to the surface.\n\n*No-no! No please don't do this I've worked so hard! Please, life was about to sprout, I just know it!*\n\nThe marble pleas were met with a defiant impact, the burning rock smashing down into the oceans with a violent force.\n\n*No!* the planet looked on with fright, shaken from the tremors.\n\nSorrow filled the blue orb for millennia afterwards thinking it's last chances at company were destroyed. Then something happened. From the rock that fell from the heavens, something began to grow. Tiny little specs of life flooded into the ocean and suddenly, everything the planet tried so hard to achieve finally occurred.\n\nLife came to the marble and the happiness and overwhelming joy the planet felt was indescribable. The loneliness and supreme depression the planet had suffered through was finally washed away in a wave of life. Company had finally arrived."
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I'm posting spoony prompts until Halloween! Spooky spooky!
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[WP] You felt it crawling on the back of your mind. Another intrusive thought begging, aching to be acted upon.
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"*do it*\n\n\"No, I don't want to. You can't make me.\"\n\n*they're asking for it. do it.*\n\n\"They don't even know what they're doing.\"\n\n*they're calling you out*\n\n\"No, they're jus-\"\n\n*do it*\n\n\"Can you at least let me fi-\"\n\n*you won't be able to live with yourself if you don't*\n\n\"Sure, I will. It's just a-\"\n\n*you will wake up in a cold sweat thinking about what you could have said*\n\n\"That's...\"\n\n*your regrets will wash over you, they will become you, they will destroy you*\n\n\"Jeez, alright...\"\n\n*you will be a hollow man. an empty man. no longer worthy of existence, let alone life*\n\n\"Okay, okay, I'll do it!\"\n\n*excellent. now, type what I say: 'what did you just say about me, you little bitch...'*\n\n---\nI'm not sorry. :P"
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[WP] A new pyramid is discovered in Egypt, small and far away from any cities/rivers. Radiation is off the charts and there is only one working theory: it contains spent nuclear fuel.
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"“Tutan-kham-in!”\n\nA well-dressed man opened the door and poked his head in, “Is this the right place?”\n\n“Are you Mr. Cliffard?” asked one of the two men sitting at the table.\n\n“Yeah, that’s, erm, that’s me,” said Mr. Clifford, walking in to the room, shutting the door behind him. “Are you two ..”\n\n“My name is Steve and this is Chad Chadley. Were you expecting something else?” asked Steve.\n\n“No, it’s just that, never mind. Glad I could finally meet you two. I think your discovery is fascinating and I can’t wait to get to work,” said Clifford, setting his briefcase down on the desk and taking a seat. “So, with my funding, what do you think you will be able to achieve?”\n\nSteve took to his feet and began walking around the desk. “Well, due to the terrifying levels of radiation at the site, we will need biohazard suits along with tools that are able to sustain the conditions. We’re, obviously, predicting this will be a very difficult excavation.”\n\n“Of course,” said Clifford. “The circumstances are unusual to say the least. I’ll be more than willing to fund the purchases of any necessary equipment.”\n\n“May I interest you in some food?” asked Chad Chadley, “We have Pizza Tut and Pharaoh Roche for desert.”\n\nClifford looked at Steve bewilderingly. Then at Chad. Then back to Steve.\n\n“That’s the third Egyptian pun he’s said since I got here,” said Clifford.\n\n“Yes, I’ve noticed,” agreed Steve.\n\n“It’s just that this is a very serious operation and I’m not sure this is the time or place,” said Clifford. “I mean, there isn’t even any food in here so those last two puns don’t make any sense.”\n\n“You know what, I completely agree. Me Sphinx we should stop with the puns from here on out, Chad,” said Steve, winking at Clifford.\n\n“Why would you wink at me?” asked Clifford.\n\n“Of corpse. I’ll keep them all under wraps,” said Chad, firing finger guns at Steve.\n\n“Right, well, that’s that,” said Clifford, picking up his briefcase and walking towards the door. “And if you two think you’re going to find another business man interested in wasting millions on a project as dangerous as this then you’re in de-Nile.”\n\nSteve and Chad froze, digesting what Clifford had said before coming to the realisation.\n\n“AAAAHHHHHH!” shouted the three men in unison, all shooting finger guns and winks at each other.\n\n“No but seriously, we're all going to die unless we take this seriously,” said Clifford.\n\n****\n\nI write shitty, silly stories on /r/BillMurrayMovies. Feel free to come along, not laugh at any of them and leave some judgement."
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[WP] There is a real-life autocorrect when you speak.
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"(Mobile, forgive formatting.)\n\n\nNo matter where they went, what they did, it was always there. That voice. That haunting tone, fixing every little mistake. Speaking over the conversation with no regard for the original speakers. At dinner, playing games, watching TV, anywhere and everywhere. Endlessly proper, ceaselessly pretentious, there was no rest to be had except in blissful silence.\n\n\n\"Hey, you guys....\" she said, cut off by that contemptible voice.\n\n\n\"DO you guys.\" it said.\n\n\n\"Ugh... Do you guys wanna...\"\n\n\n\"Want to.\"\n\n\n\"... Go out for dinner tonight?\" she finally concluded, measuring her words carefully. \n\n\nThe frustration on her face was visible, but she kept her cool. A twitch of the eye, a vein pulsing in her temple, but she said nothing for fear of the resultant correction. She felt like a hostage in the hours since it had started, and already she felt on the brink of madness. \n\n\n\"Yeah!\" her daughter said enthusiastically. \"Let's go to...\"\n\n\n\"Macaroon.\" the voice finished.\n\n\nThe daughter shook her head, bringing her palm to her forehead in frustration. She opened her mouth to speak, but the voice interjected once more.\n\n\n\"Mardi Gras. Macaroni. Marmaduke.\" it said rapidly. You could almost detect a hint of humor in its tone now.\n\nThe girl had reached her breaking point. She turned to face the source of the voice, glaring and nearly trembling with anger. She'd had enough. It had been hours now, and a simple conversation was too much to ask for. Her mother might be able to hold her tongue, but the daughter was not so calm and controlled in her relative immaturity. \n\n\n\"Dad, seriously. You gotta knock it off.\" she snarled.\n\n\n\"... have to.\" her father said, a cheesy grin spreading across his face. "
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[WP] A usually lazy and unmotivated god decides to finally have an impact on humanity. He hires you, a struggling author trying to make a name, to write his holy book.
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"**Writers Note: As usual, wrote this on mobile, so excuse the grammatical/formatting errors!**\n\n“Brave hero defeats snake in an epic battle.” said Eros, his palm making a motion in the air as if he were laying the words out in front of himself.\n\n“That sounds awfully like the bible. A snake, really?” \n\nI leaned back into the chair I was on, its hard frame granting my aching back some much needed relief from leaning forward for the past hour.\n\n“Got to admit, that’s where the idea came from.” he admitted. “But I’ve never really had to exact my influence on this realm. Humanity seemed to know how love works.”\n\n“More or less anyway.”\n\nI had spent a frustrating afternoon trying and failing to start on my manuscript when Eros appeared. He had approached me around 3 in the afternoon, where the crowd was busier at the coffee house, so I had assumed he wanted to share the table. So when he told me about his identity as the God of Love, I naturally did not believe him. But I did believe the pouch of gold that he had brought along with him to be genuine, so I decided to hear him out.\n\n“Why do you want a holy book now then?” \n\n“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.” \n\n*What a great quote.* I’m sold. The gold was kind of nice too.\n\nI unbinded my notebook. “Alright, I’m going to help you write your book. But I have a suggestion.”\n\n“Let’s hear it.”\n\n“It’s the 20th century. You want to appeal to the younger audiences, so that they grow with you. I would suggest a story, one with less preaching and more adventure.”\n\nEros stroked his beard. “But can we keep the snake bit? I really like that idea.”\n\n“I’ll see what I can do.”\n\n***\n\nThe hours passed, the sun’s journey to the west casting the tall shadow of Edinburgh Castle across the land. I looked down at the pages of my notebook. Apart from a few ticks, the pages were a myriad of crosses and strike-outs. Eros could not make up his mind about anything. I was starting to think the gold pouch might not be worth it. Time for a different tact.\n\n“What defines love for you?” I said. “The first thing that comes to mind.”\n\n“Sacrifice! It’s what makes love the most powerful force in the world!” added Eros enthusiastically.\n\n“Good...good. This I can use.” I scribbled it all done. “So our hero must have experienced sacrifice...let’s say his parents give their lives to protect him. This gives us a strong emotional backstory for our readers to empathise. This boy is your Jesus.”\n\n“That’s a novel idea!” said Eros. “Well done!”\n\n*‘Well, it kind of is what Batman goes through…’* I thought to myself, but seeing Eros so happy, I refrained from voicing that out loud. \n\n“What about my commandments?”\n\n“No.” I said. “Too preachy. Remember, young audiences. Easily bored.”\n\n“How will we deliver my teachings then?”\n\nA took another bite out of my half eaten cheesecake. “Why don’t we…” I said, waving my fork, “Deliver it by having the boy learn it through the words of a mentor?”\n\n“What, like Moses?”\n\n*Fuck.*\n\n“Well, no. Moses got the commandments from God himself, we are using the words of a mentor, a teacher.”\n\n“So our Jesus is in high school?”\n\n“Well, if you put it that way...yes. Or uni.” I said, “We could also have different characters give him lessons so that it disguises the preachiness even better!”\n\n“I want my holy scripture to be epic.” said Eros, his eyes glassy with imagination. “Can it be a tale of magic and fantastic beasts? With giants and dragons, you know the lot.”\n\n“Suuure.” More scribbles in the notebook. “We can do giants and dragons.”\n\n“Wow,” I said, perusing my notes. “We actually have some pretty solid points to go on now.” \n\n“Alright, tell me what you have so far.”\n\nI cleared my throat.\n\n“Right now, we have our hero: A boy who loses his parents after they sacrifice themselves to save him. Because he grew up with no parents, he doesn’t experience much love growing up.”\n\n“Oh man,” interrupted Eros, “I love…*haha*...where this is going. Always enjoy a good underdog story.”\n\n“So anyway,” I continued, “Our Jesus gets a scholarship of sorts to attend this special high school, where he meets his best friend, and hear this - his best friend’s mum is the sort that loves every kid like her own so wh-”\n\n“Loooove it. Sorry please go on.”\n\n“So our Jesus feels love of belonging for the first time. But all the while, this evil snake…”\n\nI paused to give Eros the chance to clap his hands in glee.\n\n“...and his master try to kill our Jesus, but with the power of love and friendship, they beat this evil guy and everyone realises the power of…?”\n\nI gestured at Eros to complete the sentence.\n\n*“Love.”* He looked so happy. “I can’t thank you enough for this dedication Joanne.”\n\n“Don’t mention it! I actually think this idea can really take off! You never know, humans may even dedicate land to erect re-enactments from your holy scripture!” \n\n“That’ll be fantastic. One question though, what’s his name?”\n\n“Who?”\n\n“Our Jesus.”\n\nGood question. I haven’t actually thought about it yet.\n\n“How about Harry? Harry Potter.”\n\n***\n\n**At which point of this story did you realise it was HP? Would love to know!**\n\nr/lysanderxonora\n"
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[WP] Humans have created FTL drives and stable worm holes allowing intergalactic travel. Given the number of stars and planets to survey, millions of drones are sent out into the universe. With the aid of an AI the data is mined and analyzed. Researchers notice an unusual trend in the results.
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"\"How many again?\"\n\n\"Thousands and those are just from the reports IIRA has produced so far. It's only been a week and... there are thousands,\" Olivia looked at the feed coming from the Interstellar Information Retrieval and Analysis, the artificial intelligence in charge of compiling the data.\n\n\"My... God,\" Wallace's voice was quiet and he wondered if 'God' was still applicable after this new discovery.\n\n\"Yessir, that's not the strangest thing though,\" Olivia went on. \"Not only have we found thousands of different alien races but... they all appear to be in the same, well. Era.\"\n\n\"Explain,\" Wallace's heart was racing with this new discovery but did his best to maintain a solid attitude.\n\n\"As of IIRA compiling these reports, all of the alien races we have found appear to be in well, I guess you could call it the...\" Olivia thought for a moment before finishing, \"Middle Ages.\"\n\n\"*All* of them?\" Wallace pressed for clarification.\n\n\"Yessir, so far each civilization that we have encountered appear to have mirrored us without realizing it and well, all at the same time. I don't... I don't really understand how all of them could be developing at the same speed yet behind *us*.\"\n\nThe implications were strange to consider, all across the galaxy no matter where or what time each of the probes arrived, everyone had appeared to be in the same time period. Wallace thought about how difficult it would be to explain. On the one hand, the military advisors will no doubt take pride in being superior to so many people. Foreign advisors will want to make first contact as soon as possible and so on. Everyone will have their wants and goals. \n\n\"There's one more thing though,\" Olivia added as she continued to read through the reports.\n\n\"What's up?\"\n\nScrutinizing the pages she muttered to herself before speaking aloud, \"It would appear there is another pattern here. All of the races seem to be focused in one area. I'm requesting images of the planets as we speak, they might be coming through in a few minutes.\"\n\n\"Have the probes analyze the entire planets if they can,\" Wallace ordered while standing at his station still. He looked up at the massive screen that took up the entire main wall of the large command room. It would be some time before the images were received but he was patient.\n\nWhen the information did finally come in, the wall began to display the images. Each planet more or less looked just like Earth and it was clear where the populace of the planets were currently residing. Each species displayed was slightly different from the other, most of which were not bipedal though--which came to be rather a shock. As the images cycled through however, more of the planets were revealed and something that Olivia and Wallace hadn't expected could be seen.\n\nMore or less on the opposite side of each world where the races had taken up residence, were what seemed to be blasted wastelands. Continents were covered in what looked like craters. Olivia and Wallace looked closely at the imagine, thinking maybe a meteor shower had hit or some other kind of natural disaster.\n\nUpon further examination however, the destroyed continents were covered in what looked like ruined cities. Buildings of different, odd shapes and sizes littered the land, all destroyed.\n\n\"What... what happened?\" Olivia asked looking upon the close up images in horror.\n\nWallace didn't have an answer, he didn't think anyone did, except the people living on those worlds. He sat down and began to file his report on IIRA's findings."
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[WP] You are a cat. Like all cats, your tail is sentient and talks to you.
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"*twitch* *twitch*... **TWITCH**\n\nI yawn sleepily and stare at my tail in annoyance “I’m awake, I’m awake”. Yawn. “What’s the matter?”\n\n“While you were sleeping, I was watching” my tail replies in it’s usual haughty tone.\n\n“Yes, I hope so”, I replied annoyed, “that’s your job. I sleep and you watch, what other use would I have for you?”\n\nI lick my paw and find a bit of dirt I’d missed before falling asleep, nibble at it in frustration and contemplate my annoying tail. Everyone else I knew had tails that were kind, or friendly at least. Some even had tails that were funny! Snowflake’s tail told the best jokes and Mr Mittens’ tail was wise.\n\nMy tail was… annoying. That was the only word I could find to describe it. It’d tell me the most obvious things, would remind me to do things while I was doing them! It never told a joke or helped me when I was stuck. It was too short to curl around myself and keep me warm while I slept, it never woke me when a mouse scampered past, but would wake me when the wind changed direction. It was utterly useless and annoying.\n\nI finished getting the spot of muck off my paw, licked it clean, yawned and settled back down to sleep again. It was cold and I wished my tail was long and fluffy so that I could wrap it around myself and keep my paws warm. I sighed softly and settled in.\n\n*Twitch!* **TWITCH!**\n\nI moved my tail under my back paws and extended my claws to stop it twitching.\n\n*twitch*...... *twitch*....*twitch!*\n\nI leaped up, lightning fast and tried to pounce on it! It was too short though, I just couldn’t managed it!\n\n“What’s the matter now!?”\n\n“I just thought you should know that while you were sleeping so soundly earlier, a big spider went under the couch over there.”\n\nMy tail swished vaguely in the direction of one of the big, comfortable brown sofas in the room.\n\n*swish* *swish* *swish*\n\n“How long ago?” I looked intently at the couch, but couldn’t see any movement under it.\n\n“It’s why I woke you the first time.” My tail said smugly. “If you hadn’t been so rude, I’d have told you then.”\n\nWith an annoyed meow I tensed up, moved my rear end and made sure I was ready to pounce the second I saw movement.\n\nNothing… nothing… nothing…. I waited and wriggled to make sure I would be ready the second I saw anything move….\n\nThere!\n\nI pounced! Quick as a flash!\n\nAnd hit my head on the bottom of the couch…\n\nMuch to my chagrin and embarrassment laughter rang from the entrance to the room.\n\n“Oh Monty, you are such a funny kitty!”\n\nSoft hand picked me up and the sweet smelling woman who always petted me and gave me treats carried me away, her laughter still singing in my ears\n\n“Don’t worry silly kitty, you may not be the best hunter, but I still love you. Let me find some treats for you.”\n\n*swish…..*\n"
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[WP] A pandemic "illness" sweeps across the world in which its victims all have superpowers. You don't know what yours is.
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"I met a strange, amazing, and wonderful man when I was 15. I changed the world at 17. I was stupid at 16. He came from another world, but knew more about my world than I did. He taught me how to speak my own words. I said “portal” without having to catch the word. He knew so many words, and he put them together in the most amazing stories about the things he’d seen and done. I loved him like a father and he talked about Jenny like a daughter. She was not his actual daughter, but he felt a deep connection to her. He told me about how proud he was of her. \n\n“Words are power here.” Regal told me while we walked through the forest. “Those words that you hunt are magic words. Somehow your people started to believe that they could not speak unless they caught the right words, and no one tries anymore. When children try to speak parents shush them and teach them sign language. They convinced you that you can’t speak.” \n\nHe had been right, of course. All the words I caught were magical. I learned to summon roses, tulips, or irises with ease. I introduced him to my parents as a tutor, and he demonstrated just enough knowledge to sell the ruse. This gave me the excuse of spending more and more time away from home. My vocabulary had grown harder to keep hidden. \n\nMy favorite word was, “nano”. He explained to me that the magical words were clusters of nanos that organized themselves naturally. Nanos, tiny machines. He proved it to me, he had his own nanos in different colors. Jenny’s corpse was placed in a horse trough filled with golden nanos. It flowed like liquid gold as he poured the nanos in over her naked body. \n\nHis cabin took him a year to build. He picked out a hill and flattened all the land around it. That was done in a day. While he poured gold on Jenny I asked him why it took him a year to build his house. \n\n“I needed to seal every piece of wood to keep the nanos in here trapped. These gold nanos are too powerful for your world. Nanos train each other, if these got out they’d train the rest of the wild nanos in the blink of an eye. Everyone would have magic,” He explained. \n\nMy inexperience translated that into, “these can give people magic.” It only made me realize how often he sprinkled me with golden powder while I trained. Shortly after that, I met a boy.\n\nI lay on my back at the side of the stream. I stared up at the blue sky while I kicked my feet in the flowing water. I heard footsteps in the grass, they sounded lighter than Regal’s. I rolled over and spotted an older boy sneaking up on me. His posture changed when I saw him. He relaxed and laughed. \n\n“Hey. Name?” he asked. \n\n“Sarah. You?” \n\n“Roberto. Bob.” He offered me his hand and I shook it with a smile. \n\n“Like a flower.” He smiled and pointed at me. I nodded, fighting the “thank you” Regal taught me. It was an unknown word.\n\nMy year was amazing. I learned so much from Regal and Bob. Bob’s vocabulary grew as we spent time together, I took him hunting in all my special places. I loved him and I revealed my magical nature. Not everything. I didn’t explain nanos, or where Regal came from. But I showed him magic. He loved it. I loved him.\n\nThe boy I loved wanted magic, and I knew how to give him magic. If I gave him a drink of golden nanos while we were in Regal’s cabin, he would learn magic. I planned it perfectly, down to the last detail. Regal made monthly trips to another world for supplies. I did not plan on Bob pocketing some nanos for his friends. The second we left the cabin the sky exploded with golden light. It looked like a new sun formed in the night sky. Magic affected everyone differently, and some people not at all. Regal felt the change the second he returned. \n\n“FUCK!” he said, as soon as he stepped foot back into my world. Only the second time I’d ever heard him use any curse word. He looked at me and sighed. \n\n“Are you ready to make things right?” he asked me. This was his favorite phrase whenever I messed up. I nodded at him. \n\n“Because these nanos were so much more powerful than the nanos of your world, they were enough to heal Jenny. Now the magic of your world has been rebalanced, and I need to do it the old fashioned way,” He began to explain how I could help fix the situation. “I’m going to spend the next few years readying myself, and you’re going to have to help me. When I begin, I’ll need you to help keep me alive, because I won’t be able to stop talking.” \n\nBob insisted on helping to fix the mistake, Regal accepted his help. Once Regal began his incantation Bob and I visited weekly to maintain his house, and make sure his nutritional needs were met. Bob discovered he had the power to control wind. I never learned my power. Regal was never able to finish training me. Bob and I had a son when I was 36. I sacrificed myself when our son was two years old. \n",
"Tom was not helping my case as I strolled past someone wielding fire like a sword, avoiding us in order to prevent burns.\n\n\"I'm just sayin', Joe. A superpower's cool and all, but I think your lack of power makes you cooler! You could become a national treasure.\"\n\nI sighed, looking at Tom. His power was the ability to transwarp; anywhere he wanted to be, he just needed to find a door, then open it into the new place. In fact, he was doing it now, leading me through into a coffee shop just down the road. \"Tom, I know you mean well, but you just teleported us into a coffee shop. I don't wanna here it.\"\n\nEveryone had immediate control over there powers. Why couldn't I? I just needed to find my power... Somewhere.\n\nThe cute girl running the counter turned around, her hands pressing buttons on the coffee machine. \"Can I help you?\"\n\nTom nodded, smiling pleasantly. \"Mocha, please. My friend here will take a cocoa.\"\n\nThe girl looked at me oddly. \"Is he ok?\"\n\nI gritted my teeth. \"I don't know what my power is.\"\n\nThe girl sulked. \"Shame. It's been a week. You have to know by now...\"\n\nThe man behind me in line pushed past, realising we'd ordered. He wore a business suit, and I was about to protest when a small creature crawled up his shirt and hissed at me.\n\nFine.\n\nI sat at one of the tables. It was sticky, but I wasn't expecting a clean one at this time of day. What was my power? I truly couldn't tell. It was unique, if anything, cause no two people had one power. Even now, looking around the fairly sparse room I could see three different versions of people, Wings and horns poking out one of the booths.\n\nC'mon... think! It couldn't be anything overpowered. I just wanted *a* power. Even a stupid one, like talking to sewer rats. Just a sign...\n\nA sign... A sigh... A sigh? I checked the booth behind me and saw another girl, slightly less cheerful than the bar worker, draw a small picture on the table with sugar.\n\n\"Hey, you good?\" I asked, not managing to catch myself.\n\nThe girl looked at me, beautiful brown eyes catching mine. \"I... I'm okay.\"\n\nI shrugged my shoulders. I went to turn back, but suddenly she was in front of me.\n\nShort blink. Another power I wish I owned.\n\n\"Actually... no, I'm not. Can I ask you something?\"\n\nI nodded, wondering what she meant to ask, but Tom butted in with a large Cocoa for me, sliding into the booth, trapping the girl. \"Hey! you two good?\"\n\nThe girl shot a stare at him, and he took the hint, moving immediately. She looked back, ready to ask her question.\n\n\"Do you like your power?\"\n\nI chuckled, irony hitting me like a brick. \"Why, you don't?\"\n\nShe curled her hair, taking a sip of her cup before placing it delicately. \"No... Blinking is fun, I guess, but the range is so pitiful. I think I could've been better, you know?\"\n\nI sighed angrily, but remained peaceful. \"At least you have one.\"\n\nI took a sip of my Cocoa, the liquid soothing my troubles. We sat in silence, before Tom came back over to break it again. \"You two done? I'd like to talk with you.\"\n\nThe girl licked her lips. \"Sure.\"\n\n\"So, I was thinking, Joe...\" He scooched in next to me. \"Since you have no power, maybe you're like, immune? Maybe you could fasten a cure, or something, help people who hate their power.\"\n\nI smiled warmly. \"Huh... That's not a bad idea. What do you think, Miss-\"\n\nShe was gone. I sighed harder. Tom patted my back. \"Hey, no worries man! Plenty of fish in the sea, especially now...\"\n\nI sat up. Something was wrong. \"Uh... Tom, do you...\"\n\nTom tilted his head. \"What's up?\"\n\nMy head began getting heavy, and I realised that Tom's face was trying not to smile. \"Did you spike my drink?!\"\n\nTom shook his head. \"No, no... a little, why?\"\n\nI stood up, feeling like puking. \"With what?!\"\n\nTom motioned his eyes to the bargirl, who was waving cheekily. \"Her power is something called 'Patient Zero'! How cool is that?\" I dropped to my knees, just in time to hear him whisper something rather macabre;\n\n\"Sorry buddy ol' pal. This world needs Villains now, and I shall lead it. See you... Hopefully not.\"\n\nI blacked out, two of the customers running to my aid.\n\n-----\n\n\"It's clean. You're clean.\"\n\nI blinked twice. \"What?\"\n\nThe doctor stared right through me, but I could tell his power was just a disease tracker. \"Indeed. If this 'Patient Zero' really did infect you, it would've been serious for you to pass out that quickly. But nope- you're clean.\"\n\nI looked around, the two customers still there, and one explained he could clean diseases from vital organs. How lucky for me, I guess.\n\n\"So, that's it? How much do I owe you?\"\n\nThe doctor waved me off. \"I only charge for diseases. You're free to go. NEXT!\"\n\nI walked out of the Infirmary. I wasn't feeling good, but at least it wasn't permanent.\n\nWhy would Tom do this? Sure, he was the 'bad boy', in no sense of the word mind, but he really went that far...\n\nA scream from behind me caused me to turn to an elderly man looking at my feet. I looked down, seeing the problem;\n\nMy feet weren't there. I gasped, then checked myself carefully as felt my body pull itself up from the floor. \"What the hell is happening!?\"\n\nI heard shuffling from behind me, then a sharp pain hit my head. I turned to see... something walking into a wall behind me. I took two steps forward, then recoiled when I spun around to face me.\n\nMy body was walking on its own. I was just a spirit now. I grabbed my body, and suddenly memories flooded through my head, suddenly plopping me in the standing position of my body.\n\nNeedless to say, I was thoroughly confused, and so was everyone else, until I realised what happened.\n\n\"I found my superpower!\" I screeched with joy as all the elderly people coming for a routine checkup yelled with me. It was amazing.\n\nSo, what would I call it? Necrosis, as a matter of fact. When I die, my body split into two entities; A spirit and a body. I controlled the spirit, while my body shambled like a zombie off somewhere else.\n\n...\n\nWhy do you think I'm carrying this gun around?"
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[WP] You are a caring mother who lives with their psychopath serial killer son, who you see as your little munchkin. He's just brought back another potential wife, this would be the 5th one this month!
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"*I don't know if I can keep doing this...*\n\n*The pretending is taking a toil on me. He doesn't even try to hide it anymore. His killing is getting so sloppy.*\n\n\"Mommy.\"\n\nI snap back to reality.\n\n\"...this is Sally.\" My son is smiling, but he looks a little mad at me.\n\n\"You're son is great,\" she says. \"Actually...\" They share a look and she holds up a finger. \"...we're getting married! See?\"\n\n\"Mom.\" He's watching me. \"Anything you want to say?\"\n\nHonestly, *Sally, run!* is the first thing that comes to mind\n\n\"Welcome to the family, hun.\" I toast them over a glass of wine. \n\n\n\n"
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[WP] A villain is practicing their evil monologue in the mirror.
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"“Look, having nuclear—my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart —you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I’m one of the smartest people anywhere in the world—it’s true!—but when you’re a conservative Republican they try—oh, do they do a number—that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune—you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged—but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me—it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are (nuclear is powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what’s going to happen and he was right—who would have thought?), but when you look at what’s going on with the four prisoners—now it used to be three, now it’s four—but when it was three and even now, I would have said it’s all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don’t, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years—but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us.”",
"\"Swivel chair?\"\n\n\"Check.\"\n\n\"White fluffy cat?\"\n\n\"Got you a Persian. Say hi to Lady Flooblesnart for me.\"\n\n\"How's the lighting?\"\n\n\"Subtle shade thrown everywhere chest-up, with a modicum of malice and a dash of menace.\"\n\n\"All right then, let's do this bitch!\" Professor Eveel said, clapping his hands. Loudly. \"Let's do this bitch? What was that? What is wrong with me?\"\n\n\"Perfectly understandable. We're relatively new to the game. You'll get the hang of it.\"\n\n\nThe large oaken frame creaked against its hinges as Eveel opened the door and made his way to the chair. Poised on it and licking itself was the gracious presence of Lady Flooblesnart. The cat purred alluringly as he picked her up, sat down, and placed her on his lap. Perfect.\n\n\n\"How do I read?\" The raspy voice of his second in command through his earpiece. The guy was just an intern, and he hadn't even come up with an evil persona yet, but he was really killing the villain voice thing. Why hadn't he thought of that first?\n\n\"Good, good. Really good,\" he said, clearing his throat.\n\n\nWith a light push against the desk in front of him, he swiveled with just the right amount of force to do a 190, comfortably leaning back, and facing his would-be nemesis-in this case, represented by the mirror on the wall-with a slight sideways tilt.\n\n\n\"Hehehehehe-hahahahahaha!\" The buildup to his maniacal laughter was perfect. Low tension to high, feverish, uncontrollable cackling that seemed to rock the room itself.\n\n\"The acoustics here are amazing!\" He exclaimed, giddily looking down at Lady Flooblesnart, who seemed largely aloof and uninterested. Perfect.\n\n\"Thank you, it wasn't easy, but the engineering guys really worked their asses off,\" the intern replied with just a sliver of satisfaction. \"Now the speech.\"\n\n\"Ah yes, yes, the speech, of course. Ahem. So, Mr... huh, you know, I just realized I left the name blank.\"\n\n\"Blank works. Mr. Blank.\"\n\n\"Right. Righto. So, Mr. Blank. How nice of you to join us, and just in time for...\"\n\n\nHe snapped his fingers.\n\n\n\"And then, you know? I'm assuming we'll have the floorboards open up to a shark tank with his or her friends swimming around in it for dear mercy, or a cage descends from the ceiling. Or we just go the classic route and bring out his loved one, gagged and bound at gunpoint, but you see my point.\"\n\n\"Totally.\"\n\n\"And then he or she says something along the lines of, 'you'll never get away this!' to which I chuckle and respond... uh, tootootoottoot,\" he said, leafing through his lines until he found the right one. \"Quite on the contrary, I believe we will, for you see,\"\n\n\nHe did a hand signal.\n\n\n\"And that means my goons burst forth and subdue our friend. I thought snapping my fingers again might be a little redundant, you know.\"\n\n\"You've thought of everything, boss.\"\n\n\"In the likely case of him or her breaking free, I make a bargain based on the chips on our table. His friends, lover, family, whatever. How do things sound so far?\"\n\n\"I personally think the gentlemanly villain's been played out a bit, but on the whole, I think we're off to a great start.\"\n\n\"I mean, sure they've been played out, but if I'm making it this blatant, I'm playing INTO the tropes, surely you see that!\" He responded, pouting. \"I mean, for chrissakes, I got a damn cat! How much more obvious could it be?\"\n\n\"Whatever you say boss.\"\n\n\"Oh no.\"\n\n\"What is it?\"\n\n\"You're judging me, aren't you?\"\n\n\nLady Floodlesnart hissed, having sensed her master's insecurities, jumped away from him and disappeared into one of the dark corners of the sparingly lit room of Eveel.\n\n\n\"Not at all, I just meant to say...\"\n\n\"No, no, no, you're right, this was a stupid script. What the hell was I thinking? It's back to the drawing board. I'm sorry I lashed out like that, people tell me I can get a little too defensive sometimes.\"\n\n\"Not a problem at all boss.\"\n\n\"We still up for pizza after this?\"\n\n\"Way ahead of you. Got you that sweet, sweet Lou Malnati's.\"\n\n\"Man, you really did think of everything,\" he said with a grin, putting pen to paper once more for the perfect script.\n\n----\n\nPlease visit r/Seriousaboutnachos for more of my writing, thanks!"
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[WP] You have been arrested by the thought police in a dystopian world. You have been brought forth to be judged by the “Great Leader”. You brought to a large desk and a large chair. In the chair, sits a 6 year old girl.
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"They were dragging me across a poorly lit hallway towards the most ominous door I had yet seen, as we drew closer I could hear something entirely out of place, a child's laughter. But what shocked me most was the sight of the room once they opened the door, paintings of unicorns and all sorts of huggable animals covered each of the four walls, and scattered all across the room were enough toys for a hundred kids. In the center of the room a small green table and sitting at the other end of it in a blue and even smaller chair, a six year old girl, with a quick wave of her hand she dismissed the two men accompanying me. \n\n-Hello Mr. Parker, would you care to sit down?-\n\nI just stared directly at her, a child is the last thing you expect to find at a thought correction facility. -Who are you?- I asked in a tone that let through my confusion and as ridiculous as it seams in a room like that, fear.\n\n-Please seat down Mr. Parker, it's time for tea, and I will not have your visit ruin it.-\n\nSo I did, in a chair three times too small. In the table between us laid a tea set, made entirely of plastic.\n\nShe began pouring tea for both of us -My name is Princess Pancake, and I am the head of this facility- she paused to hand me a plastic tea cup -Careful it's hot.-\n\nI knew of course that it wasn't, in fact nothing had been poured in the cup, she sat there smiling and waiting for me to take a sip, I did.\n\n-It's good isnt it, what does it taste like Mr. Parker?-\n\nIs she expecting an answer? this is ridiculous.\n\n-It is not ridiculous- she said promptly -What does it taste like?-\n\n-Hmm I don't know...- I took another \"sip\" trying to think of an answer, she is six so probably not earl gray, hmm... -Blue- I said -It tastes blue-\n\nImmediately she shrieked in anger -It is not blue, it's pink, how could it be blue, I had blue yesterday-\n\nIn came one of brutes that had carried me into the room -Is everything alright Princess Pancake?-\n\n-Yes, everything is fine, you may leave us- she said, as he was leaving she poured herself some more tea.\n\n-What is going on? Why am i here?- the confusion was beginning to be too much, she must have sensed this, because after taking another sip she answered.\n\n-You Mr. Parker were brought here to remove all thoughts of being mean, and what's going on, is tea time. So I ask you again, what does the tea taste like Mr. Parker?-\n\nSomething in her voice made me reach for my cup once more, and lift it towards my lips, I stoped mid track, she looked at me smiling. \n-This is stupid, I have had enough- I said while getting up -There is nothing in this cups, and pink is not a taste, and neither is blue for that matter- at this moment I was screaming, screaming at a six year old girl, guess I am mean. -And I will not have my time wasted any longer, and as for you \"Princess Pancake\"...- she never did find out, one of the brutes had pined me down mid sentence.\n\nShe got up and took half a step to reach the other side of the table. \n-First you think your niece is silly for having imaginary friends, then you think I'm silly for drinking pink tea, and to top it all of you behave like a stupid boy. So be it Mr. Parker, you have left me no choice, from now on you shall be known as Mr. Poopyhead...- \n\nShe looked at me as if expecting to see shock in my face, but all i could muster was a blank expression, this was ridiculous. \nAngrily she added -...and you have cooties- \n\nAs soon as she said that the brute let go of me and looked at his hands in disgust.\n\n-You may leave, and never come back Mr. Poopyhead- \n\nI was guided to the exit, without touching of course, just before going out they gave me a new I.D. Card, but where my name should have been it read \"Mr. Poopyhead\", and right below it \"has cooties\".\n\n-Mr. Poopyhead... cooties...- i kept mumbling while making my way home, this had been the stupidest thing I had ever gone through, no wonder no one ever talks about what goes on inside the TCF, at least I was lucky, people usually stay in for a couple of days. Granted they do come out acting more nicely but still, it was too stupid.\n\nAs soon as I got home my wife started yelling at me \n-Mr. Poopyhead. Cooties. What is the matter with you John?, no not John, Mr. Poopyhead- I was shocked, how could she know?\n\n-Honey...- I said while reaching for a hug. \n\n-Do not touch me- she screamed -Do you know you are the first person, the first! To fail correction.-\n\n-It's not thought correction that goes on in there, it's...- \n\n-i don't care what goes on in there, the point is you failed-\n\n-I'm sorry, there's no need to take this so seriously, Mr. Poopyhead, cooties, it's just a stupid game-\n\n-It's not just a game, it's government enforced, for all intents and purposes you are now Mr. Poopyhead, and have cooties- you could hear defeat in her voice -I'm leaving, I can't be known as Mrs. Poopyhead, I can't catch cooties, I won't let you ruin both our lives- \n\nI tried to stop her as she made her way towards the door, but she was too quick, I could only graze her jacket, which she quickly took off as to avoid the cooties. \n\n-Why couldn't you be nicer Mr. Poopyhead?- she said as the door closed behind her.\n\nEdit: formatting",
"I glanced at my guards. They were big boys and both of them were wearing the same stretched smile. Their smiles weren't natural. Was that something that had been done to them or was it mandatory to smile for the Great Leader?\n\n'Mr Huffle here says you've been a bad citizen.' A voice spoke from further in the darkened room.\n\n'Who's Mr Huffle?' I frowned. Mr Huffle didn't sound very nice.\n\n'He's the police chief of course!'\n\nWait, the thing on the desk wearing a policeman's hat? Was that - it was! I freeze, trapped between the two guards and in chains. My moralilty and standing called into question by what had to be the most evil looking *teddy bear* I had personally ever witnessed. It was sitting on the edge of the large mahogany desk that dwarfed the chair behind it - if I didn't know any better - I'd swear it was *staring* at me under the brim of that hat. What could I say to an accusation of misdeed by a Frankenstein meets Village People teddybear?! \n\nThe chair swung around and I bit back a curse. The voice that had spoke had sounded quite young - but I would never have expected all this fanfare and fear for a tiny, blonde, pigtailed little girl. She couldn't be older than six. \n\n'Isn't that right Mr Huffle?' She simpered at the half-bald, badly stitched bear before she snapped to me and scowled. 'You've been thinking *bad thoughts*. Thinking *bad thoughts* and *telling people bad things* is not allowed! You'll get *grounded*.' She warned with a wagging finger and I had the distinct impression that grounded did not include a time out in my room. \n\n\n'This isn't your first conviction, is it?' The Great Leader mused and pushed a finger around the desk to draw on it. It made a horrendous squeaking noise that was almost - not quite - as bad as nails on a chalkboard. 'Your file's quite thick. You like *adults* and you've been in poss - poss -' She struggled to say a particularly long word and frowned before her hands hit the desk. 'You had big books! All words, no pictures! Don't you know the kids run this show?'\n\n'Seems to me it's you and Mr Huffle that run the playground.' I reply.\n\n'Don't get lippy with me!' She replied authoritatively. 'I am not someone you give attitude to!'\n\nFunny. That's what my mother used to say. My mouth had never learned, though. 'You sure you don't want to ask Mr Huffle what he thinks?' I asked with a tilt of my head.\n\n'That's it! You're grounded!' She barked and the guards shivered at the words. Gripping both of my arms tightly. Well, I guess I'm about to find out what *grounded* was.",
"She smiled at me, there was a sick sadistic tint in her eyes, but she was still smiling. That was a good sign. It meant I had a chance.\n\n\"You do know why I've bwought you here today don't you?\" she asked trying to sound grown-up, I suppressed a smile when she messed up a word. I knew she hated it when I smiled.\n\n\"Likely because I was criticizing your newest policy. Who would have thought you'd have even my home bugged.\" I replied as she tsked running her index finger down her other index finger toward me a few times.\n\n\"No one is above the law silly, Everyone is monitored so that everyone is happy. Now you've made me unhappy, and you know what happens to those who make unhappy don't you?\" she said pressing a button on her desk as the sounds of screams filled the room.\n\nBefore I could answer she continued \"Of course you do, You were once on this side of the desk. It's not as if you could forget what you've done. However I am more lenient than the old despot. If you apologize and submit I'll let you go.\" she said snapping her fingers as a large man came into the room placing a container of playdoh on the desk.\n\n\"Now, say 'I'm sorry Great Leader, It's fine if people eat Playdoh' and enjoy. Than I'll let you get back to your little apartment.\" she said smirking as she flipped the container lid up.\n\n\"No young lady, I will not. Eating playdoh is disgusting! I thought I taught you better than this\" I said raising my voice in triumphant anger and she stopped smiling.\n\nWith another snap of her fingers the large man grabbed me \"It could have been easy Daddy, you just had to submit. Enjoy the re-education center!\" she said putting a smile back on and waved as I was dragged out.\n\nI kicked and struggled, but I knew I couldn't escape. However I was still a little happy. Someone worthy did overthrow me in the end and would lead my empire well. She didn't even hesitate to send her own father to be painfully lobotomized, I'm so proud.",
"*This is all a bit rubbish, really.*\n\nI had not meant to think it. \n\nThey knew that, and they took me anyway. It was the dead of night and it was raining, probably moreso for the drama of the thing than anything else (if they'd wanted to snatch me from the streets, in broad daylight, that could have worked fine); the little sleep I had fled with the harsh banging against the door. In an instant I was up, and awake, and automatically - *automatically* - I was reciting: *zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba. Zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba. Zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba.* It was knee-jerk. Don't think about anything - don't think about ANYTHING just recite it backwards and - well, I didn't know, but it had always worked before to drive them away (I'm not thinking! I don't think! I just do alphabets, I *don't think!*). I scrambled out of bed. The door exploded inward, with all the force of men who had grown impatient of their two seconds of knocking. \n\nIt was no use hiding, but I pulled the blanket over myself anyway, cocooned in their warmth. I breathed in the smell - gripped the soft material with my hands - felt the way my heart beat, wildly, in my chest, panicked and afraid. This was it. This was living. I do not know why it struck me so acutely in that moment - this was living. No matter what happened from this point onwards, or where they took me, I would remember this warmth and this fear. I would remember the way the blanket folded itself around me and the ragged breathing as I tried to draw in air. I would remember the anticipation, the waiting, the baited-breath moment while I thought, wildly, that they must have left - I must have been wrong; they weren't here to take me at all. \n\nI would remember the fleeting, soaring moment of hope (immediately quelled) that they were here to take my friend, in the next room over - I would remember the next, instant moment of disgust in myself, for having thought it. \n\n\"Alice,\" they said, and a gruff hand closed around the material I was clinging to. The man pulled it up and away, and there he stood - he and two of his colleagues, towering over me, and the baited breath turned into a held one because I instantly forgot to breathe. One of the women (there were two, and this man) squatted down. Her eyes were kind. I hated how easy it must have been to fake. \n\n\"Alice,\" she said, with a voice as warm as the blankets had been. \n\n\"I don't think,\" I answered, because it was the correct thing to say. \"I swear, I don't - I just like to wonder sometimes but it's nothing! It's not anything -\" \n\n\"You're afraid.\" \n\n\"You're terrifying.\" It wasn't even an accusation, just a statement of fact. \n\nShe stretched out a hand towards me, open and flat and empty. It would have been a kind gesture, if it had not simultaneously been demanding; I could see her colleagues growing impatient as I hesitated, and I thought - with a surge of disbelief - that maybe her kindness was real. \n\n\"On the second of November,\" she prompted, in a whisper, \"you thought that *this is all a bit rubbish, really*, is that right?\" Like she was checking her facts. I didn't respond; to say anything would have been to admit guilt. \"My name is Officer Jones,\" the woman continued, gently: \"I'm with the thought police. We need you to come with us. All right?\" \n\n\"For fuck's sake, Lauren, just *move* h-\" the male officer cut himself off, suddenly choked by the death-glare Officer Jones turned on him. The second woman put a hand on his shoulder, staying. Calming. \n\n\"We can spare a couple minutes for her, Bill,\" Officer Jones said. I wondered if this was practised. I wondered if this is how they got people to go quietly, when they wanted a quiet abduction - I wondered if they'd meant to explode my door inward like that, if they were being so kind now. Officer Jones leant forward and I felt her whisper in my ear, \"Come on, sweetheart. It's not as bad as you **think** it is.\" \n\nIt almost made me laugh. \n\nHesitantly, I slipped my hand into hers. ",
"\"Do you know why they monitor thoughts so fanatically? Try so desperately to keep some of us from you?\" I asked the small child sitting on the throne above me.\n\nShe stared, silently. It was hard to tell if it was the simple stare of a curious child, or something more complex, something deeper.\n\n\"Because,\" I proceeded, almost pleadingly, \"They know you can do whatever you want. I know you can do *anything* you want.\"\n\nMy words hung in the still air for a moment.\n\n\"With power like that, can't you see that the most dangerous thing in the world is changing what *you* want?\"\n\nAs these last words fell from my mouth the doors on either side of the large room burst open and men began rushing in.\n\nShouts and panicked words echoed off the walls.\n\nTime seemed to slow down for a moment as they charged towards me.\n\nThe girl's lips slightly turned up into a smile.\n\n\n"
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[WP] a zombie apocalypse but from the zombies perspective
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"I woke up, and the voices took over. It didn't feel so bad at first, wandering the streets. It was kind of confusing. Sometimes they'd make me do something seemingly random, but most times they let me wander about to my contentment.\n\nSearch. Find. Obey.\n\nThere were other's like me. I could tell, they smelled, looked, and just... FELT rotten. Like I was.\n\nIgnore. Search. Obey. \n\nSometimes I would think about my family.\n\nFind. Hunger. Obey.\n\nI remembered where I lived, but the voices rejected such a drive in me. they pushed me away from them. Instead I was walking ever deeper into the city.\n\nFind. Search. Obey. Devour.\n\nThings were confusing, right up until I saw my first human. An uninfected one. There was no smell of rot on them, none at all.\n\nHunger. Hunger. Hunger. Obey Hunger.\n\nthey smelled so fantastic. So exquisite.\n\nSmell. Hunger. Devour.\n\nMy body isn't under my control. I hate this. The voices and I struggle for control, but they take over my muscles. I break into a run and tackle them down. It's a woman. She's screaming for help. \n\ndevour. Devour. DEVOUR. DEVOUR. DEVOUR. DEVOUR. DEVOUR.\n\nand so I devour her. I rip the skin from her body, tear at her vital organs.\n\nTear. Rend. Rip.\n\nShe stops screaming. She tastes so good. This is so wrong, but so good. I can't stop myself.\n\nbut then I do stop. The rot is back. It pierces my nose, turns her flesh sour in my mouth. She's infected now. the Disease repulses me. She gets up. I walk away. She is nothing to me now.\n\nThe voices quiet, and I resume my wandering.\n\nSearch. Find. Obey.\n\nDevour."
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[WP] You called upon a powerful God who only speaks in metaphors. You need help setting up your new entertainment system.
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"I plugged in my Google Chrome and turned on the TV, moments later unsettling words slowly scrolled across the screen:\n\n*In the setup screen you must wait until the remote selects channel five and eight.*\n\nMy flesh crawled and itched. I looked at my hands and the began to fade out, as though they were made of old analog static. A shriek grabbed my attention.\n\nMy wife was staring at me in fear as I faded from existence. I was gone from this comfortable world before I could even tell her I loved her.\n\nWhen I awoke, I found myself in a deep, dark jungle. Whispers echoed in my ears nonstop\n\n*gay ass dance, KYS and get down voted*\n\nIt was then I realized that I was in the worst hell possible...the YouTube comment section. I would not escape for twenty years. "
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[WP] An incident leaves you with dyschronometria, preventing you from perceiving the flow of time. You reflect on your first day since it occurred.
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"The timer rings. So it's been an hour. I walk across the room to the counter and the pad of white, lined paper, where I make a mark. Nine marks. Nine hours.\n\nIt's been nine hours. I reset the timer and go back to the couch.\n\nThere was an accident. Samantha and Jane and I were in an accident. I woke up nine hours ago. Two marks ago, the check is circled. That must have been lunch, I think. Seven marks ago, the check is crossed through. That was when my mother visited. She'll be back soon. She'll bring me an update. I wrote down the number to the hospital, but they asked me not to call, because I call too much. I forget that I called and I call again. They're polite. I think they're polite, anyway. They just don't want to keep answering the same questions.\n\nSo my mother will come back soon and give me an update.\n\nIt was a car accident. It must have been yesterday. They say my memory was damaged. It's hard...I can't quite keep track of the time. Even now...I thought it was morning, but it's not. It's afternoon, I think. It's light out. Nine check marks. Nine hours. Nine hours since I woke up. No. Nine hours since I started keeping track. \n\nSamantha and Jane are not well. It was a bad accident. I remember turning over in the air. Darkness all around. I remember feeling so powerless.\n\nEven now I'm powerless. More so. Because I can't be there with them. I lose track too easily. They were worried I might hurt myself or them. \n\nI'm worried about them. I can't remember what Samantha looked like afterwards. But I remember Jane's face so clearly. The tubes. The yellow bruises. The bandages and stitches. At times, it's all I can see. Entire hours come and go and all that happens is I reset the timer and I see Jane's face and the timer goes off. \n\nI pace the house. I wonder if it's time to feed the cat. Where is the cat? She's not a social cat. She'll tell me when she's hungry. \n\nWhere's my mother? Am I counting wrong? I try staring at the clock on the microwave, but it's flashing and I think maybe the power went out at some point. I don't know. Or maybe it really is 12:00 pm. I don't know and I can't seem to pay attention long enough to figure it out.\n\nHow did I make it out without a scratch? I marvel at my arms. No cuts. Only the slightest bruising. How unfair is that? It must have something to do with the way we landed. I don't know. \n\nThe timer goes off again. So soon? Is the timer broken? I wind it up again. Make another mark. How would I know if it's broken?\n\nA knock at the door. Finally. It's my mother. I let her in. \n\n\"Any news?\" I ask, cold and frantic. I feel like I've been alone in this house for centuries. \n\n\"Why aren't you dressed, Will?\" she sighs, pointing me up the stairs. \"I left out your suit. You said you'd remember this time.\"\n\n\"Suit?\" I press my heels down on the stairs. \"How are Samantha and Jane? Are they okay? Can I go see them?\"\n\nMy mother grinds her teeth. I don't remember ever seeing her so weary and agitated. \"Are you not using your timer, Will? That's supposed to help.\"\n\nI slip past her, back down to the counter. I hold up the pad. \"Ten hours,\" I say. \"Has anything changed? Are they going to be okay?\"\n\nMy mother takes the pad out of my hand. She's so tired. And sad. It isn't a fresh sadness, either. Not a mourning sadness. A broken sadness. She flips back the pages. There are so many marks. So many pages of marks. Pages and pages. Hundreds of check marks. Maybe even thousands. \"This happens every time you switch to a fresh page,\" she sighs. \"Let's get you dressed.\"\n\nI feel numb - like someone has just snipped off years of my life like a loose thread. \"Are we going to the hospital?\"\n\n\"Court, Will,\" says my mother. There's no sugar left in her. \"We're going to court. You're been charged with manslaughter.\" Her chin quivers just so. \"Two counts.\"\n\n\"Two?\" I whisper. But my mother has turned her back. \n\nIt doesn't flood back to me. Just trickles. I remember drinking at home. Just the drinking I always do. Every night. And Jane's crying. And Samantha's yelling, imploring. \n\nWe were driving to the emergency room. Jane's appendix... and I told Samantha I was fine...\n\nI genuinely thought I was.\n\n\"How long ago?\" I ask, shrugging on my shirt and coat and pants. \n\n\"It doesn't matter,\" says my mother, sitting on the edge of my bed, staring out the window. \"It just doesn't matter.\"\n\nI want to say she's wrong. I want to say that it all matters. But I don't remember the funeral. And I don't remember saying goodbye to either of them. \n\nSo what does it matter?\n\n\"I'm ready.\" My mother straightens my tie, perhaps out of habit. On the way out of the house, the timer goes off. I turn it off and calmly throw it against the wall as hard as I can. Plastic and brass guts. A gentle chime as the pieces come to a stop.\n\nWe go out to the car and drive away. \n\nIt's morning. I only just realized that. "
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[WP] It looked like a horse, but Black as Night and with a mouth like a Wolf.
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"It looked like a horse, but was black as night, and had a mouth like a wolf. \n\nThe creature dropped its large shaggy head down to mine, and gave me a sniff, its breath curling up as steam in the cold night air. I stood absolutely still. Could it smell fear? I wondered. Father had spoken often about how some beasts could smell strong emotions. I tried to calm my racing heart.\n\nIt sniffed at me again, then lowered its head even further and gave me a forceful nudge to my chest. I nearly stumbled backwards, but instinctively reached out and grasped onto something to keep from falling. I found my hands with fistfuls of its short, coarse mane. Before I could let go, the creature quickly dropped into a crouch beside me. \n\nI froze. Surely it didn’t mean for me to mount it. There was no saddle, no reins, no way for me to guide or control the beast. Where would it take me?\n\nIt let out an impatient huff, and rolled one grey eye up at me. I could see my reflection in that eye; I looked small, and pale. I held its gaze while I tried to make sense of my situation. The creature looked intelligent, and obviously wasn’t feral. Still, what *was* it, and who did it belong to?\n\nIt had appeared in front of me suddenly as I was walking home. I had been looking down, trying to keep my footing through a slippery track of mud, and had nearly bumped right into it. I had never taken this path through the woods before; it was a shortcut that the woodsmen used frequently. I was supposed to stick to the main road, but it was getting late…\n\nA distant howl cut into my thoughts. More voices joined the first, and they melted into a harmony that was hauntingly beautiful. The beast beside me shifted uneasily, and let out a low growl. \n\n“*Up*.” The word was spoken directly into my mind. “*Now*.”\n\nI gasped. Telepathy?! “I can’t, I-”\n\nThe howls died down, and suddenly shrieks and screams filled the night air. They were coming from down the path ahead of me. The village. \n\n“*We go. NOW*.” \n\nSomehow I was on the creature’s back, clinging desperately to its neck, trying to keep my seat as it pivoted and started a full out gallop back the way I had come from. Away from the screams. Away from my home, my family. \n\n“No!” I shouted. “Go back! Please!”\n\n“*Too late. Too late. We run*.”\n\nI could still hear the screaming as we raced on, and I continued to plead with the beast to turn around. Tears filled my eyes and blurred my vision. Soon all was quiet, except for the pounding of its hooves on the earth. I buried my face into its neck and sobbed.\n\nI woke up when the beast slowed down. Everything was white, and still. When had it snowed? I didn’t know where we were, or where were going, but I knew that I had nothing left at home to go back to. \n"
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[WP] You were sent to Hell by accident so the devil makes you a deal. Travel back in time and take one thing from your present time with you.
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"\"All right - so what I need to do .. Is to go back in time with one thing from my time ...,\" I crossed my arms as I watched the devil sit on his throne in front of me. \"Yes, indeed,\" he leant forward with his fingers pressed together as he sent me a big wry smile. I stood there with a thoughtful look on my face, as I rubbed my chin. \"All right - sounds like a deal!\" I raised my chin with a look of pride, \"I shall travel back in time with my phone then!\" I lowered my head with a odd smile on my lips. \"As you please - odd choice, but as you wish,\" the devil tilted his head to the side and I looked up to look at him just as I disappeared into a thick smoke.\n\nI coughed and waved my hand around to clear my face from the thick black smoke. \"Oh hello, sir!\" A man wearing farmer clothing rose up from his work with harvesting wheat. \"Eh - hello?\" I replied, eyeing him carefully before looking down of myself. I was wearing travelling garments with a big flat hat placed on top of my head. \"I did not see you there,\" the man spoke slightly surprised when I looked back at him again after patting myself with a odd look in my eyes. \"I am terrible sorry, my good man. I am new to this region,\" I began with a cheerful voice and the man looked odd at me before turning to tie his wheat. Meanwhile he did that, I saw my chance to check my small leather purse that hung around my waist. \"Oh my,\" I whispered when I pulled my phone up from the purse. \"What is this thing you hold your hands, sir?\" The farmer suddenly asked when he caught a glimpse of my phone before I quickly put it back into my purse. \"Well - this is very special thing,\" I said in my most serious voice I could produce without beginning to laugh from how curious the man looked. The truth was the phone was worthless but with what I had in mind, it was perfect. \n\n\"You do speak a odd tongue,\" the farmer began, pushing his coif a bit back, as he watched me with a puzzled look. I realised that my modern-English probably were half-way incomprehensible for him, same way his English were too close to be completely incomprehensible for me. I hid a laugh behind a hand and cleared my throat before I dug my hands into the holes of my coat. \"I am here to speak with the church leader,\" I tried in my best old English I could muster although I never really paid much attention to my English classes. \"... Oh ...,\" the man simply said as he began to struggled to make his wheat pile stand up straight. \"The church is too far from here,\" he gestured with his arm in the direction of the tall sphere belonging to the church's tower that towered over the small town I had found myself in the outskirts of. \"I thank ye!\" I cried out in amazement from seeing the church, causing the farmer to send me some odd side glances before he returning back to his work. I quickly skipped across the field as I pondered on how to keep low-profile as I would attract lot of unwanted attention if I behaved out of touch with this time period. \nI instantly wrinkled my nose at the foul smell of trash being thrown into the streets from the houses - it made me happy for that we had invented proper toilets and trash cans compared to this horrible stench. \n\nI pushed open the doors to the church and met the slightly smaller priest who stared at me over from the spot he was sweeping with his broom. \"I am here to speak with Gods' men. I have a important message,\" I began in my most deep and serious voice as I eyed the priest who dropped his broom and rushed out of the room I was in. I looked after him before walking into the church and looked up. There was all sorts of drawings on the walls, ceilings and even on the pillars near the altar. \"I pardon them, my good traveller - I do not recall seeing them before?\" A slightly chubby priest came rushing over to me by the altar while smiling all over his reddish round face. \"Greetings, father - I am here with a important message for them,\" I turned away from the large painting and fixed my attention to the older priest. This was it - no point of return. I had to do it. I took a dramatically deep breath, as I pulled out my phone from my purse. \"Behold! I am an angel sent from God with this instrument of power!\" I had unlocked my phone and its bright light lit up the older priest's round face in a bluish colour. I chuckled to myself. I was definitely going back to hell for this. The priest was staring at my phone with wide eyes and open mouth. My background was a wallpaper with various coloured fish that moved around in the background that resembled a small pond.\n\nThe priest fell to his knee completely awestruck and clasped his hands together. I could not help but laugh from his response. Indeed yes, I was definitely going back to hell for this. \n\n"
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[WP] Ah, the beach. The perfect place to dispose of the evidence.
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"'Ahh, the beach', thought Zasa Rah as she looked over her shoulder in the direction of Staffordtowne Keep. Even now she could hear the shouting of the men and the barking of the dogs.\n\n\n\nReaching into the folds of her cloak she produced a small bag with a golden drawstring. She waded knee deep into the cold dark water and opened it wide. Too wide. A solid block of ice in the exact shape of the Baron of Staffordtowne splashed heavily into the water getting her wet. She made a high-stepping run back towards the shoreline as the first of the pursuers crested the dunes on horseback.\n\n\n“You there!” shouted the man as he rode up on next to her. “What are you doing so far from town? There is a dangerous criminal on the loose.”\n\n\n\n“I was just on my way back m’lord. I lost my net on the rocks and spent the last hours of daylight trying to retrieve it.” She motioned to her soaked clothing. She turned towards town and started taking a few steps.\n\n\n\n“Not so fast girl. It isn’t safe. Ride with me.” He extended a hand.\n\n\nShe took it.\n\n\nShe rode back to the hidden door in the hidden alley and reported her success to the den of assassins.\n\n\nTwo large blocks of ice slowly melted in the surf.\n\n",
"The greatest part about living in a small coastal town: the beach community. People flock all over the world to find that peace of mind. Getting off your slow eight hour shift, riding your bike to the cove with a tall boy and a spliff to kick the ball with your buddies, it's priceless. You hang out until the sun sets. You sit together as the waves crash and the sky screams purple, orange and red. It is getting cold, but you belong to the cycle. \n\nWith all the pros of coastal life, comes many cons. It's no secret hordes of homeless and junkies flock here. The humidity makes sure they never get *too* cold. And weird, generous people live on the coast who unfortunately get taken advantage of: Hippies, Liberals, Free Spirits. \n\nThough you know the dangers, it never seems too bad. You know you are more well fed than them. You actually feel bad for the homeless and junkies because you are so open minded. You have the sheriff's number on speed dial because your liquor store gets robbed frequently. You know there are only three cruisers on shift at any time, everyone knows. With a small coastal town comes lots of undocumented crime, and with that comes street justice. And while there are many hippies, there are an equal amount of good ol' boys who run the place.\n\nThe dichotomy is sweet. On the same beach, you have boys wearing boots with guns on their hips and men wearing tie dye with dreadlocks in a drum circle. But they respect each other in well being. \n\nIt happened last Friday. There was usually a bonfire on the beach every Friday. My buddies and I watched the sun set and we joined the gathering up wind a couple hundred yards. The fire was exceptionally big that night. A few trucks full of pallets came to fuel the party. People were drinking beers, smoking weed and chatting among the various small groups. It was like watching a movie, people dancing with fire, music coming from drums, people coexisting. \n\nMy group and I overlooked the party from a small sand hill. The sound of the waves continued to crash in the dark. We seen the trouble. A man, his lady friend and a unleashed dog approached one of the groups laying close to the fire. It all happened so fast. We seen a flicker of light in the hand of the man, people started to scream. Another group close by, they all standing, ran to the man who held a knife in his hand and tackled him. The drums stopped, people were quiet. We heard a real human scream. It was the man with the knife. We could tell, even thirty yards away in the dark, what happened. The tackled junkie fell on his own knife. This is when his female friend started to yell and swing at the man who tackled the misfit. \n\nI never witnessed mob mentality, but it is real. The group started to attack the woman and within minutes she was silent. The dog was yelping, though no one touched it. I walked towards the commotion. The sand was stained, people were looking at each other. \n\n\"Psycho pulled a knife on me for my phone\"\n\n\"I just tackled him, he fell on the knife\"\n\n\"She was hitting you, its not right.\"\n\n\"They're not breathing.\" \n\n\"Should we call the cops.\"\n\n\"No\"\n\nTwo men went around to everyone present. They pointed guns at the party goers, confiscating their phones. It was for everyone's good, they said. They held a canvas bag full of cell phones, though they didn't throw it in the fire. I think they were concerned with the extra carcinogens. \n\nTwo other men picked up the dead man and threw him onto the fire. The body first seemed to smolder the fire, but the cotton clothes soon caught and black smoke erupted from the beach. Everyone walked away from the fire, a circle of roughly thirty people, connected by this sudden and permanent experience. After ten minutes or so, the same two guys picked up the woman and threw her on top. \n\nThe party seamlessly continued. The drums started, chatting returned. The dog sat in front of the fire, staring. And there was a pop. The teeth of the unfortunate exploded. The only evidence that would be left. Half of those present would remain for sunrise, eventually finding some of the teeth and burying them. The sun rose for us and will set again. It's all a cycle we are a part of and something we won't speak of again. ",
"Speaking from experience, the beach is a terrible place to dispose of evidence. The tide vomits back whatever you throw in, and if it doesn't erode the sand off whatever you buried, a dog or an idiot with a metal detector probably will. Tourists are there at all times, from joggers in the wee hours in the morning to couples going on the umpteenth romantic moonlit walk along the shore. It's basically impossible to dump a body without someone seeing. \n\nThat's why when the phone call came, we thought it was a prank. \"I'm saying this, for sure, you have to get over here. I don't care, arrest me if I'm lying! You're going to need a truck or something.\" \n\nJim and I drew the short straws, so we took the squad car over at a leisurely pace. It wasn't as if dead bodies would get up and hurt someone. And there were probably three, maybe four at most. Probably kids tugged in by the undertow. Witnesses tended to exaggerate. \n\n\"Branton Public Beach\", the sign read in chipped gold lettering. As we got out of the car, the smell hit me like burrito night at the station's bathroom at 7 PM. I covered my mouth with my elbow. Jim did the same. Our footsteps crunched as we trudged down the sandy path where a large group of civilians had gathered. \n\n\"Alright, people, move aside. Let's see what we've got.\" Jim ushered us through with a megaphone. The crowd parted to reveal... \n\nBodies. Hundreds of bodies, in various stages of decomposition, sprawled out before us in a grotesque pile. Their clothing ranged from neon orange string bikinis to grey formal three-piece suits. I picked up the radio. \"How long until forensics gets here? We'll probably need another team.\" \n\n\"What the fuck is that thing? Think it's dangerous?\" Jim asked, pointing at what looked like a leathery bag the size of a semi truck drifting in the water. It bobbed with the waves, coming towards the shore and jerking back as if catching on something. \n\n\"Ma'am, do you mind if I use your binoculars?\" I asked a young lady wrapped in a beach towel. She handed them over in shaky hands. \n\n\"I don't think it's dangerous,\" I muttered, and shook my head. \"Not anymore.\" Through the binoculars, past the glint of the sunlight from the waves, I finally got a clear look at the mystery bag. It looked just like a stomach. \n\n[join the community!](https://www.reddit.com/r/Tensingstories/)"
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[WP] You are an arms and armor dealer in the Galactic Alliance, and are highly skilled in your craft. You do legit business, some not so legit business on the side, and you have seen it all. Today, a customer comes in with a weapon/armor piece with some strange tech you have never seen before.
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"'M'ktyrn kail R'yinth?' I asked.\n\nThe varinthian stared at the weapon he had placed on my counter, and said:\n\n'M'ktyrn.'\n\n*So he's selling,* I thought to myself.\n\nAs I took his weapon off the counter and into the back of my store, I immediately noticed some odd... quirks about the weapon. A bullpup design was not out of the ordinary, as concealment these days was much more necessary when gunfights took place in crowded streets. What was odd, however, was the 150-round drum magazine. Big, bulky, and all around not fit for a bullpup design. Even stranger was the barrel. It was chambered for light rounds. Light rounds were like micro-bursts of electricity. It was widely used amongst law enforcement agencies. Ammunition was stored in what could be referred to as a 'battery'.\n\n*So why the hell would there be a drum mag?*\n\nI set it down on my workbench and noticed something weirder: it was bolt-action. A bullpup light rifle with a 150-round drum mag that operated using bolt-action? I had never seen anything like this before, and it looked horribly impractical, completely over the top, and it looked as if someone wanted to create the most unwieldy, least effecient-\n\n*Oh*, I thought to myself. *That's not a 150-round drum mag at all.*\n\nIt was a modified drum mag, able to hold 25 batteries, and it was very, very clever, now that I saw how it worked. The main drawbacks to using light rifles were their unwieldy reload mechanisms. You had to discharge the pent-up electricity, remove the battery, insert a new one and build up more charge. But with this design, you didn't have to discharge anything. You just ejected the battery and carried on firing. An average battery could give you up to 2 minutes of controlled suppressive fire. Maybe 45 seconds of uncontrolled fire. With this design, you could kick that up to almost 20 minutes of fully automatic fire. It was an ingenious stroke of innovation.\n\nI put everything back together, and took it back out to where the varinthian was waiting.\n\n'50,000 credits,' I said in varinthian.\n\n'Deal,' he replied.\n\nI paid the promised amount, and waited for him to leave. After he left, I closed down the shop, and decided I would have the next two days off to improve on some of my designs.\n\nThis is my first Writing Prompt reply, please leave feedback! (:"
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[WP] The Statue of Liberty awakens and begins an unstoppable march to D.C.
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"The screams could be heard near and far as the Statue of Liberty began it's long walk to DC, as it turns out. No one knows what caused it or how it's possible, all that is known is that the Statue of Liberty began to walk one day in a southerly direction. It almost immediately began to shoot lasers at nearby buildings and people. \n\nAs it left the city, a trail of destruction was left in it's wake. The scorch of burnt flesh and the dust of shattered buildings trailed the dread statue. But nothing would stop this behemoth that was shooting death from its eyes. \n\nShortly after this the military began its response in earnest. Fighter jets and mortars bombarded the statue with their highest yield explosives, yet the statue would still not slow in it's inexorable march. The zones that were thought to be in the statue's path were evacuated. With no people left to kill, the statue marched on in a straight line, destroying all that lay in its path. \n\nAfter the statue reached DC, it walked to the capital building. It stopped in front of the building's front steps and laid it there. After that, the statue intoned in a booming voice, \"Liberty Prime has completed its delivery, would you like to pay using your amazon prime account?\""
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[WP] Write a character that starts out as either very likeable, but make the reader hate them in the last paragraph.
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"He never smoked and had not known the taste of liquor. Jimmy was not like the others. He kept to himself, but never said no when someone asked him for a hand. He worked hard during the day as a farm hand at old Joe's farm. \nJimmy helped his mom with her groceries every evening and would work the graveyard shift at the local chemist's shop. He had dropped out of high school to help look after his ailing dad. His dad died soon after and Jim took up the job at ol' Joe's. He worked double time and paid off the mortgages and now lived with his aged mother. \nJim took his mum to church every evening and spent the Sunday helping his mom with household chores. Jimmy never disrespected a woman in his life. He had dated a couple of girls back in high school, but he never crossed his boundaries with them. \nHe was a quiet fellow and never picked a fight with anyone. He was a good man with strong morals. Jim wouldn't hurt an ant if it crawled across his face and bit his nose. \nThat is what made it all the more shocking when they found all the dead hookers buried in his backyard.",
"*I wrote this for a different prompt but realized it'd work here, too...*\n\n\nAssistant Principal Ortiz hated this part of her job. She knew that as a fifth grader, Brian hadn't developed a skill set to behave in any other way, and even the best of humanity may have fallen prey to the instinct to fight back when so provoked -- but Mrs. Ortiz could not allow children to administer their own justice. The school district's lawyers insisted on zero-tolerance.\n\n\nBrian was trying to maintain a righteously defiant attitude, but his face was red and his cheeks bore telltale smudges of dried tears that must have accumulated while waiting outside the AP's office. He had not cried when Juan stole his juice box, nor when Juan squirted it out all over Brian's face and shirt. It was Juan's taunts -- *Look at the baby with his baby drink!* -- that drove Brian to lash out, but even then Brian had not cried. Not then, and not for the brief fight that followed. The tears could only have come on after the boys were escorted from the lunch room to the Admin Offices.\n\n\nMrs. Ortiz was formal as she addressed the child, \"You know the rules, Brian. Violence is never the answer. You were provoked, but you could have gone to a teacher. Instead, you chose to fight --\"\n\n\n\" -- I'm not a snitch! It doesn't work anyways,\" Brian objected with a pained frown.\n\n\nHe had evidence to back up that claim and they both knew it. Juan had been picking on Brian for months. Brian had skipped first grade, so he was both a year younger and got better grades than most his classmates. At the same time he was not well socialized and bookish. This combination was equivalent of a bull's-eye on his back for Juan to target.\n\n\nMrs. Ortiz sighed and took a more sympathetic tone, \"Honey, I know it is hard for you. I know you get picked on and you don't deserve it, but I also know you are better than this. I don't want to suspend you, but you broke the rules. I don't have a choice.\"\n\n\nBrian looked down and heaved a bit as he tried to stop a new stream of tears. \"Yes you do,\" he sobbed. \"You can give my suspension to Juan. He's the one that started it. He's the one that *always* starts it.\"\n\n\nShe didn't think he would understand, and he certainly was not in a frame of mind to accept that if Brian would just act more like the other kids, he would not get into so much trouble. More to the point, Mrs. Ortiz knew it wasn't reasonable to expect children to all refrain from standing out -- it wouldn't even be desirable other than relieving them from some measure of torment. She wanted kids to have the space to be different and excel in their own areas, but still... it would spare everyone so much grief if kids like Brian could just learn to socialize.\n\nShe snapped out of her wistfulness and found focus by filling out the Suspension paperwork, saying curtly, \"Principal Schutter and I have already discussed the matter. You are both getting the same three day suspension. She is calling Juan's parents and I am calling yours. Now. Before I do, I want you to consider something.\"\n\n\nShe paused and made sure she had eye contact with Brian before she continued. \"Your teacher tell me you like history, is that right?\"\n\n\nBrian nodded noncommittally.\n\n\n\"Well then,\" Mrs. Ortiz went on, \"do you know about 'The Cold War' between the Axis and Allies after WWII?\" She did not let Brian's suspicious frown stop her. \"The U.S. developed nuclear weapons first, but it wasn't long before the U.S.S.R. had them, too. Soon each side had so many weapons that either side could destroy the whole world by themselves. After that, no one wanted to get into a direct fight because there would be no winning.\"\n\n\nThe premise did not hold water for Brian and he mumbled, \"Tell that to Juan.\"\n\n\n\"In *your* case, the ultimate weapon is not supposed to be your fists, but the school. You and Juan are both supposed to know that if either of you start anything, there will be NO WINNING. Everyone gets punished. No one wins.\"\n\n\n\"No,\" said Brian, \"because Juan doesn't care if he gets suspended, and his friends all think it is fun to pick on me. It isn't the same. He wins. I lose. I lose every time.\"\n\n\nMrs. Ortiz never had much luck improving situations like this, but she wasn't willing to stop trying and hadn't the budget to take additional classes to improve her own skill. \n\n\n\"Brian,\" she said, \"you are smarter than he is. He is never going to figure out a better way, but **you** can. Think of it as an assignment for your suspension. Research ways to diffuse confrontations. Search for 'stop bullying'. In addition, I want you to come back with a list of at least five things you -- or any kid -- could change about that might help them fit in, make friends and get along better at school. You don't have to do them, and I don't want you to stop being who you are, but I want you to think about how the other kids act -- even if what they do seems stupid -- and figure out if you could do the same. I will even spot you one to get you started.\"\n\n\nBrian glared at Mrs. Ortiz but remained silent.\n\n\n\"One thing you could change is this: the next time you get a good grade and you see someone else frowning about their own grade, you could try to talk to them quietly -- away from the other kids -- and ask if they want to work together with you on the next assignment. I'll warn you now that no matter who you ask, they will probably say no, but it will give you the chance to offer something nice to a classmate.\" Mrs. Ortiz could tell that Brian hated this idea.\n\n\nSince nothing else was working, she decided to throw in a veiled threat. \"If you want, I could also pull you out of class once a week to meet with a counselor, but I worry that would give you more unwanted attention, so I want you to talk to your parents about it before we decide on that. What do you think?\"\n\n\nBrian had gone from sad to quiet seething. \"I think everything about this is wrong. Juan starts a fight and *I'm* the one who has to do extra work. It's because you're a SPIK just like he is, isn't it? He gets off easy and I get punished when I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG!\"\n\n\nAssistant Principal Ortiz rose abruptly as her eyes narrowed and jaw clenched, but she contained herself. Through gritted teeth she explained, \"This school does not tolerate that sort of language, and I would be within my rights to add another two days to your suspension, but I am not going to do that. When you come back from your three day suspension, you will bring me a list of five things you can do to fit in, make friends, and keep from getting bullied.\"\n\n\n\"Si, si, Señorita\" Brian mocked. Now that it seemed proven that when he got hurt, he'd get billed for it, too, he no longer cared who he took down with him. ",
"The snow had started to drop in heaps that morning, making my day off a whole lot more eventful than I had anticipated. Everybody had been wondering when the snow would start but nobody was expecting it to be so sudden and strong. Nobody was fully prepared for it, and I had to go to the homeless shelter to make sure to do my part to help.\n\nI spent four hours in that place, helping make sure everyone had enough warm clothes to not freeze to death. My neighbours, bless their soul, were also there, and it warmed my heart to see all of us working together to help the needy.\n\nOn the way back I found Mrs. Juan by the zebra crossing, and helped her cross the street. The poor lady had lost her children a few years back, and her help had gone missing after leaving town last year. It had been gossip in town for weeks, and Mrs. Juan had been unable to find any new help since then.\n\nWhen I got home I again found myself helping my neighbor shovel the ice off his yard. It was hard work, but it felt good to be doing it. After the work was complete the family offered me some food and drink which I happily accepted. \n\nIt was evening by the time I found myself with free time on my hands. So I decided to meet my student, Sarah, and see if her family needed any help. Her father had recently lost his job, and they were having trouble making ends meet. Many town people knew that they were about to lose the house, unless they got a new source of money or had somebody save them at the last moment.\n\nI found Sarah sitting by the lake while going towards her house, I was lucky to have spotted her due to her unique bright jacket. I walked towards her and she only saw me at the last moment. She seemed quite surprised but quickly got back her composure and greeted me. She looked like she had been crying so I asked her if I could join her, she smiled and let me join her among the bushes facing away from the town.\n\nWe talked for quite some time, and I managed to make her laugh and cheer her up. Turned out she was worried about all that had been happening at home due to all the stress of losing everything, she talked of how she wished she could just disappear, at least then her parents would not have to pay for her and could afford to stay. I told her I would help in whatever way I could. \n\nWhen the moon seemed to have set in the sky, I decided to make my way back to the town streets. I wished to meet the pastor. Along the way I noticed a breeze passing through along my pants and embarrassed, realized that I had forgotten to close my zipper. I fumbled with it in my hurry bit at last managed to close it. When I entered the church all seemed to be quite and it appeared the only person there other than me was the priest in the confession booth. I went in and sat down on the other side of the partition, and said,\" forgive me father, for I have sinned\". \n\nThe next day when going out for work, I heard gossip along the way of how the Myers daughter had been missing since last night. I felt a warmth in my heart, passing by knowing that I had helped my neighbours save their home. I had been a good man as god would intend.",
"I love to serve my county, it's the greatest place to live in the world. Ever since I young man, I've felt this way. When I was just a little boy my father was a soldier. He died somewhere on some foreign land. I never knew him well, but my mother told me was a hero. That I should always look up to his memory, and I always have.\n\nI based my life on being a hero like my father, to serve my country just like he did. It became easier when I saw the people he served, my friends and neighbors. All of whom aided my poor mother as she raised me by herself. I was raised by the whole community and I grew to love them. I felt I needed to serve them when I could.\n\nBut I didn't truly understand the need to serve, until I met the people who lead them. They were kind men, who believed in pleasing the people. Who believed in making the country more productive. I joined their youth programs, I went to their rallies, and with every word they spoke, it felt like they spoke to my own heart.\n\nI was ready to serve when I became old enough, but than I met my beloved. When I first saw her it was almost as if light itself was created. Like the whole world was brighter. I'm ashamed to say the light that came off her, blinded me of my need to serve.\n\nI spent a year courting her, working an apprenticeship to provide for her, and finally requesting her hand. She agreed, and a short while after we were wed. The second light of my life came along. My wonderful son, he looked so much like his mother, they both brought me so much joy.\n\nI never wanted to leave them, but when war came. This country called all her sons to protect her. When I heard the call it reignited the need to serve within me. My wife, the angel that she is, agreed. \n\nWith her blessing I went off to join the army. They trained us well there, taught us all we needed to know to defend this great land. Trained us to follow our orders well, and provided us guidance for the mind and soul.\n\nEnvoys of our leader would come and speak on his behalf. Their speeches reminded me of the rallies I went to as a young man, and they resonated with my heart, just as they did than. These speeches invigorated me, kept me ready to serve, ready to protect this country.\n\nI was deployed in the fall. I know because the leaves were just beginning to change. They were lovely, I pressed a few fallen leaves in a book my darling sent me, and sent it back to her as a surprise. My last message before I left, I'd likely be too far off to receive a reply.\n\nI was shipped off to the northern front, alongside those I had trained with. Each of them were good men, fathers, teachers, builders, and entrepreneurs. Men from all walks of life, I considered them each my brothers.\n\nMy first month on the front, saw half of them disappear from our lives. The first few months were brutal, our enemies assaults never seemed to stop. Constant bombardment from their cannons, and with eyes like eagles they seemed to spot anyone who made the mistake of lifting their heads.\n\nIt was taxing, I was glad to be serving, glad to be holding the line. However my soul was strained. The only thing that kept me going was the thought of my love, of my son. That everything I did here meant something. I feel as though the others felt the same, because eventually we prevailed.\n\nWe pushed the invaders from the north far enough back, that we were able to retake the train stations. This meant supplies and news from home. All of us waited eagerly for both. When they finally did arrive though, it left many of us heart broken.\n\nThe enemy had circled down the coast, and surprised the south with bombing runs. The defenses had held, but during the surprise attack, many areas were hit. Many men lost what they were fighting for, including myself.\n\nMy town, my neighbors, my friends, my brothers and my lights. The enemy have taken everything from me, from all of us. The only thing we had left was our love for our country. So we took that love and those supplies, and we went forward to drive them out! To defend these lands! We succeeded.\n\nBut that was not enough. Our leaders decided to take from them, like they had taken from us. They said these subhuman monsters did not have the right to go on. They had little need to convince us. We went into their lands, we burned their homes, killed their false families posed in brutal mockeries of what they stole, and searched for our hopes in the ashes. We did this in service to our country, and I love to serve my country.",
"I remember the feeling of his hands on me at work. It wasn’t anything bad, “it was just a little groping,” the general manager said. “He’s a good supervisor and no one else complained about him.”\n\nI told him no, I told my boss that other staff were afraid to come forward. Shae was only 16 and he practically had his hand all the way up her skirt. I couldn’t stand for it, I yelled at him to stop and he just fired me on the spot. \n\nI went to the police but they wouldn’t do anything. I called corporate and no one there would listen. I was fired for insubordination, but I was fired for standing up for myself. I only shoved his hand away a little bit. I didn’t hit him or call him names, I just told him to stop. \n\nI’d told him to stop so many nights. And I lost my job for trying to protect one of the kids we worked with.\n\nTonight it didn’t matter if anyone listened, I had to protect my girls. Shae and Jessie and Lori didn’t deserve to be sexually assaulted at work, ignored and told to shut up. \n\nI justified my actions as I poured the gasoline on his porch. I soothed myself with these words as I wedged blocks in the doors and windows so they wouldn’t open. I was calm when I lit the zippo shortly after four a.m. and tossed it on the porch. \n\nHe’d pay for what he did. \n\nAnd I sat in the woods nearby waiting for the flames to catch, watching them spread up the siding, licking the roof and devouring the shrubbery outside. The house truly began to burn after a few minutes of encouragement from the accelerants I used. Dried peat moss was tucked around the basement windows. \n\nI heard the fire alarm go off and I heard his dogs howl at the sound, the smoke and the flames. I turned and walked away, comfortable with my actions. \n",
"Gosh, you know, I never did give it much thought. Back when I was a kid-- must have been the sixth grade-- I remember seeing this girl, Katy. She was so sweet, but everybody treated her like garbage. I remember boys used to call her all sorts of names, and the girls, well, they were even worse.\n\nAnd I was a shy guy-- still am, honestly. I kept my head down, tried to do good in school. Not too smart, but stayed out of trouble. Just so happened I shared a few classes with Katy, and seein' her get treated like that, well, it bugged me.\n\nA good while, maybe three or four months into the year, I decided I was gonna do something about all that. There was on couple-- well, couple isn't really saying much in sixth grade. But a boyfriend-girlfriend duo, we'll say, that picked on Katy real hard. They were both popular, and they made a sport out of picking on the poor girl, and whenever they started up with her, every kid and their mother would come and pick on her.\n\nOne of them days, the two had seen Katy at lunch, and Billy, the boy, grabbed her sandwich from her and said somethin' silly-- I think he called out that it was filled with slugs or somethin'-- and threw it on the ground and stomped all over it. Then the girl, Sandra, she chimed in, telling Katy she had to eat it. Poor Katy, she was so flustered and crying, but everybody joined in and just started shouting, \"Eat it! Eat it!\"\n\nAnd that's when I had about enough. I ran up to old Billy, who was a good foot taller than me, and I punched him right in the balls. Wasn't much dignity in that, I admit, but I still can't say I regret doing it. He toppled over and howled in pain, and Sandra, well, she wasn't nuthin' without her muscle. She started cryin' like all hell. The ice queen finally lost her cool, and everybody at the school remembered that from that day on.\n\nAnd Katy, well, I was surprised at Katy. I didn't say nuthin' to her at the time, she collected her things and went. It wasn't until we were both in 8th grade, and the 8th grade dance at come along and I didn't have a date, and she didn't have a date. I remember runnin' up to her after school, but she turned me down. Said I was a violent freak for what I did to old Billy.\n\nNow, lookin' back, I guess that's the reason I killed all those women."
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[WP] Story where the main character is preparing a sandwich. Make it sound EPIC
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"######**Part 1: The Bread**\n\nNuru emptied the last drops of warm water from his cow bladder waterskin into his dry throat, wetting his cracked lips. Across the barren terrain of scorching sand and howling winds, the silhouette of a small farm peeked into view. Nuru's heart hesitated to leap with joy; this could be another mirage, after all. He pulled the leashed pack camel behind him towards the promising sight. As Nuru closed the distance between himself and the farm, it became clear that this was not a mirage. \"Finally,\" Nuru said as his heart decided that now was an appropriate time to leap with joy. \"We made it, girl.\" Jamila, Nuru's pack camel, made a guttural sound behind him.\n\nThe farm was nothing extraordinary to behold. Rows of wheat lined six acres of fertile soil. Several straw huts were scattered around the small farm, some filled with harvested wheat and others with scuffed furniture or tools. To Nuru's delight, a stone well sat at the far corner of the farm. Nothing except the blistering hot sand surrounded the farm farther than the eye could see.\n\nNuru approached the largest straw hut at the center of the isolated wheat farm. There were two windows on either side of the hut's open entrance. \"Stay here,\" Nuru said to Jamila. \"I will just be a moment.\" He released Jamila's reins and stepped inside of the hut. An overpowering smell of sweat and exotic spices combined with the hot desert air to form a stench that nearly brought Nuru to his knees. A pot that dangled from the ceiling, however, did bring Nuru to his knees after he blindly banged his head against it. From within the hut, a coarse male voice spoke to Nuru through decades of uncleared phlegm.\n\n\"Just make yourself at home, why don't you? Rattle my pots and let your camel loose at my wheat. Welcome, unwelcome guest!\"\n\n\"I apologize for the intrusion,\" Nuru said. He stood up and saw an old man staring at him, annoyed, from behind a wooden table. His face bore more sunspots and wrinkles than any sane person could ever endure to count. \"I seek a person of Ch'natyi descent, the ancient family that is said to have perfected sliced bread.\"\n\nThe man grunted.\n\n\"Pardon me once more, as I must ask: are you a Ch'natyi? I have traveled for months in the unforgiving desert in search of this very farm.\"\n\nThe man grunted again, this time at a higher pitch, as though his body was trying its best to laugh—something it had forgotten to do after so many years of solitude.\n\n\"Come,\" he said to Nuru. The man stepped out of the straw hut. To Nuru's surprise, the elderly man neither limped nor needed a cane. In fact, his posture may have been better than Nuru's. The two walked through the field of wheat and inside another straw hut. This hut was much smaller than the first. A wooden table sat at the center of the tiny hut. On the table was a large, steel knife, thin slabs of meat, and a loaf of bread wrapped in a strange, transparent bag marked with symbols undecipherable to Nuru.\n\n\"Here,\" the man said as he unraveled the bag with his bony hands and pulled out two square slices of bread. \"Actually, you know what? I am supposed to be on a low carb diet anyways, so it would be best if you just took this whole loaf from me.\" He inserted the two slices back into the transparent bag with the rest of the loaf, tied the end of the bag into a knot, and handed it to Nuru. \"Don't crush it.\"\n\n\"I cannot thank you enough for this generous gift,\" Nuru said. \"Is there anything I can do to return the favor to you?\"\n\nThe man exited the hut and admired his small wheat farm. He took a deep breath, but the wind blew sand into his lungs, causing him to cough several times before he could reply to Nuru.\n\n\"I know what you seek, traveler: the perfect sandwich. I know, because I was once a lost soul like you that thought I could fill the gaping void in my life with a delicious combination of meat, cheese, lettuce, and tomato encased by toasted bread and dripping with a mouthwatering sauce.\"\n\nNuru bowed his head. \"It is true, but you cannot persuade me away from my dream.\"\n\n\"Traveler, I want you to achieve what I could not. Go and make the most perfect sandwich ever conceived with the finest ingredients this world has to offer. Make that sandwich and eat it. It is your destiny.\"",
"The tall man, a baker, bowed before the princess. His princess. He presented her with an ivory white plate that held four small sandwich triangles. \n\n“Please, m’lady. Allow me to regale you with a tale of how this marvelous repast came to be,” he managed to bow lower. The princess’ mouth was full, she waved a hand at him. Permission to continue. He nodded.\n\n“As you know, my Princess, I am a baker by trade. I found the farmer with the best wheat in the land. He required of me a quest before he would consider a trade. He wished to be rid of a beast, and I slayed it in your name. Once he gave me the wheat I milled it into flour myself. The rest of that loaf is for your lips only,” the baker said. The princess dabbed a glob of jelly from her lips, but said nothing. She kept eating.\n\n“I found the best sugar cane, and the best fruits. Your jelly is a special blend. The fruits in the jelly, as well as the cooking process are secrets known only to me. The recipe will be passed on only to my child.”\n\n“To make your peanut butter I individually inspected thousands of peanuts in order to find a handful suitable for you. I shelled them, salted, and toasted them personally. All for you. The peanut butter process is another family secret.” His princess finished eating and he moved her plate away. He returned, eagerly waiting for her kind words. She cleared her throat with a drink, then stared at the baker. \n\n“Dad, of course I’m going to take over the bakery,” she said. She stood from the table and gave her father a hug. “The jelly was great.”\n\n“Thanks, princess. I’ll be happy to show you how to make it.”\n",
"The tale of wheat is well known. After ten-thousand years of cultivation a once humble grass had grown to be a world-dominating food staple. Yet despite its growth, the machines of men with metal and smoke had mown down the armies of wheat, striped future generations from parents, flayed those plants-to-be of their skin and crushed them into powder.\n\nBeneath the hands of mighty bakers these remains were included in an alchemical concoction with enslaved eukaryotes and the extracts of a living bovine, then forged in the flames of an oven. The resulting loaf was thrust through a trial of blades to which it succumbed, and two parts thereof now sat before the Creator.\n\nUpon the face of each wheaten slab, more yellowed oil of the mighty bovine was applied. The sacred plant of Min was washed in the water of a distant reservoir then torn unceremoniously apart upon the altar of food preparation. A fruit of the fearèd nightshade, despite its wide-reaching poison, had been plucked and was laid upon the cold stone to be cleft by a blade forged in the fires of an oriental land.\n\nThe flesh of a beast forbidden to mortal mouths in ancient texts was brought forth and placed over the searing flames of Pluto's realm. The embryo of a dinosaur was similarly treated to the blue glow of the underworld's wealth, then seasoned with the crystals reclaimed Neptune's treasury. These glistening minerals, patiently amassed by the ocean's miserly habits from the ancient stones over aeons would be dissolved in a moment of hedonistic delight.\n\nThe ingredients were arranged in a tower of conquest upon a porcelain field. The fabled knife returned to divide the sandwich in two—in four!\n\nOne quarter was lifted to the Creator's mouth, a smile of victory turning swiftly into a gaping maw of jagged teeth...\n\nThe Creator hesitated to devour his creation as his consort opened the portal to the culinary sanctum and crossed its threshold.\n\n\"Didst thou not also prepare such sustenance for me, thou rogue?\"",
"Positively oozing with confidence, Daniel's dazzling, dapper, and somewhat sensual form filled the kitchen doorway with hunger in his eyes. He took a deep, heaving breath, inhaling the morning air as his intense glare roamed the counter-tops, finally falling upon the lone loaf of bread. \n\nDaniel nodded silently to himself, a look of conviction winning over his features. *That's it* he thought, *a sandwich, that's what I want.* He strode purposefully towards the bread and savagely tore through the bag, it was no match for his overwhelming power. Years of gaming had strengthened his fingers to such an overwhelming level, no mortal man could rival his grip. The poor bag never stood a chance.\n\nHe picked up the crusty bread at the end of the loaf between two fingers and scoffed loudly before launching it across the room. Daniel would not be falling foul of your evil schemes today Mister Crusty, but he respected the effort all the same; a somewhat worthy adversary. \n\nMind whirring like a super computer, he selected the two fluffy white slices that appealed to him most, slid a plate towards himself, and slapped those mother lovers down upon it with a vengeance, plate shuddering in pain. Daniel quickly uttered an apology, sometimes he forgot just how ridiculously strong he really was.\n\nThe refrigerator trembled as Daniel's fiery gaze turned towards it. After witnessing the grizzly death of old Crusty and the bread bag, the fridge knew it was in for a beating; for it contained not only the butter, but *every. Last. One.* Of the sandwiches ingredients. \n\n*Game over fridge!* Daniel steadied a finger at the chrome door, *spill the beans!* Though Daniel had no intention of eating beans, for they are of course the spawn of all that is unholy, he thought it somehow sounded... right.\n\nNot a moment later, golden light washed over Daniel along with the refreshing, cool air that he so enjoyed. The fridge didn't even put up a fight, how *pathetic.* \n\nHe stared up at the shelves, observing the contents with an objective in mind. *A cheese sandwich...* he thought, eyes falling upon the untouched block of yellow yumminess, \"yes... that's what I want...\" "
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[WP] For some time now, you've been hearing the voices of two sport commentators, commenting on your everyday life.
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" When the voices first started, I thought little of it. Throughout my childhood, I often would pretend I was being filmed for my mid-career documentary; creating a dramatic backstory out of my everyday life to proceed my rise to fame. Any setback I experienced was just another opportunity to beat the odds through some imagined heroic act. Having some sort of fantasy internal monologue wasn't an alien concept to me, so when I started hearing intermittent comments about my life from a sportscasting duo instead of a documentary host didn't strike me as reason to worry. Besides, I enjoyed the novelty of having my own sport commentators; but the transition from mild amusement to bottomless paranoia and self disgust mimicked the inexorable march of death in weight upon the soul. The first tinge of Angst emanated from an unplaceable spot deep in the pit of my stomach, explicitly tied to the acute realization that these new commentators were speaking not from the murky stream of every day thoughts mulling around in the unexamined corners of my mind, but from an entirely independent entity. Am I crazy? Even before the swift voice of denial could conceive some notion of comfort to rationalize away the fear behind my worrisome self inquiry, the commentators began to analyze my very thoughts. \"Things aren't looking too good for u/lljeff00 , Todd.\" \"That's right Jim, it seems that he's having a hard time finding his grip on his perception of reality.\" \"You know what you're absolutely right Todd, and that couldn't be made more obvious than by his frankly pathetic attempt to cope by trying to deny how little control he has over his mind at this point in the game.\" \n\n\n\nHoly fuck I did not plan on going this deep and I'm on mobile if this gets a few upvotes or comments asking for part 2 I'll finish",
"*That's not going to bode well for him. Tom.*\n\n\"I think I can take him,\" I said with my fists raised.\n\n*No, John, he's taking on someone his own size but he's the offender. The morale low ground is going to crush him.*\n\nI looked around the room, the crowd looked concerned. \"It doesn't matter,\" I muttered under my breath. \"He's try to get with Jackie, she's my girl!\" The crowd looked perplexed watching me talk to no one.\n\n*He's got the confidence, John. Let's see if he can execute.*\n\nI walked forward.\n\n\"Get him Randy!\" Someone from the crowd encouraged my opponent. I focused back.\n\nOne, two, punches came at me and I was out cold on the ground. For many years now, I had been hearing two voices in my head. They were sports commentators. Obviously figments of my imagination. Thing is, they give really good commentary. It's like having two analysts in my mind sizing up every situation. I've gotten better at school, I've working out, eating healthier, and life has been good since the not so great days. \n\n*I don't like this. Young athletes can't afford to have cheat days. If you're in it to win it, you're in it to win it all the time.* The commentator said while I devoured a Hot Pocket.\n\n*Some people say you've got to put points on the board if you're going to beat your opponent. If you finish with more points than them, you're going to win every time.* He said, as I talked up a gorgeous blonde at the bar.\n\n*I can't believe what I'm seeing. He's a legend at drinking at this point, and I think he's scoring a lot of favors with his friends. This is guaranteed to end poorly, but I have a feeling he's going to come out a winner.* The commentator said, referring to a particularly boozy night where I knocked out challenger, after challenger in a drinking competition. \n\n\"Psychosomatic Personality Disorder.\"\n\n\"What the hell is that?\" I said to the doctor.\n\n\"It's a condition where third narrative voices appear, it's usually only one. I've never seen two until now.\"\n\n\"Why are they sports commentators?\"\n\n\"Do you like sports?\"\n\n\"Not really. But I used to.\"\n\n\"Did you watch them when you were younger?\"\n\n\"A lot more than I do now.\"\n\n\"This is a manifestation of those comfortable days. A nostalgic remedy to your depressive episodes.\"\n\nI looked at the doctor like I was reading a textbook. Confused, angry at how many words are being used, and looking to close it. \"So how can I get rid of it?\"\n\n\"How are you doing now in your life? Are you still depressed?\"\n\nI paused as I thought about it. \"Well, my job promoted me after so many years keeping me down. I'm saving tons of money. I am fitter and healthier than I'd ever been. And no, I'm not depressed!\"\n\n\"Then why cure it?\" The doctor shrugged. He put his back back down into his clipboard. Scribbled some notes, looked up, and put his hand on my shoulder. \"Son, sometimes it's a blessing. I wouldn't brag about it to people, they might think you're off your rocker. But if these guys in your head are helping you do the right thing, why fix what ain't broken?\"\n\nI smirked and nodded.\n\n*And that's it Tom, this is a good example of an athlete who has grown up and is really owning being a veteran. He's going to make some plays now that he's never been capable of before. And all of it is possible because of the hard work he has put in the training room, and practice.*\n\n*That's what I keep saying John, practice, practice, practice. The elite athletes are the ones who can keep up in the training room, day after day, suck or no suck. This is a beautiful moment in the maturation of this star quarterback.*"
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[WP] A race of aggressive aliens have evolved long wave UV(blacklight) bioluminescence. It helps them prey on other species in the dark. Until now they have never encounter anything that can see the organs. You wake up to see three glowing l.e.d sized lights staring from the foot of your bed.
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"It'd only been three hours since the object had been brought on board. We'd thought nothing of it other than a curious find; the scanners recognized trace elements that were common to this region, but they were fused together in a unique way. Some of the crew argued that it was proof of a recently dead star, and that there were surely more minerals to be mined. Others were laughed at when they suggested the object seemed almost 'designed'. \n\nNo one was laughing now.\n\nWhether a crude vessel, or an advanced egg, no one could say for sure. What was clear was that we weren't ready for what came out of it. I'm not sure how anything could be.\n\n\"I'm telling you, this is *our* fault!\" The Pilot shivered, shaking her head rapidly. \"We didn't even try to communicate with it!\"\n\n\"Enough!\" The Commander hissed, ducking his head below the counter he had previously been peeking over. \"You saw that thing! You saw how it had nothing we could remotely call a 'face'! And I *know* you saw how it tore through three of the main guard, so keep your voice down!\"\n\nI could only wince for the Pilot in empathy as she visibly relived the memory of those fighters being decimated. I acknowledged as much as her that if they could stop it, we likely didn't stand a chance. I just had the edge on her of being quite emotionally numb at the moment. She, on the other hand, was doing her best to follow orders with sobs flowing freely into a smothering sleeve.\n\n\"This is the last thing I need...\" The Commander grumbled to himself, casting me a withering gaze. \"Doctor, I either need you to calm her down, or give me something I can use.\"\n\nI glanced away from him as I softly shuffled over towards the pilot. The pale light I could see her by made her look as haggard as I felt. A cursory touch wasn't even needed to know that she was suffering from exhaustion.\n\n\"What do you want me to say?\" I sighed, trying to direct my speech to the Commander as I soothed the Pilot's quaking form. \"How am I supposed to understand how something that... 'alien' functions?\"\n\n\"Because you're the Doctor, that's how you're supposed to 'understand'!\" He said, exacerbated. \"You're supposed to be the one that understands our prey! And yet, here we are, being taken down one by one by a species that can't even Thresh! You saw it's lack of features!\"\n\nCall it the stress of the situation, or the desire to just finally have him shut up, but the answer finally slammed into me as I thought over his words.\n\n\"Of course!\" I gasped. This only caused the Commander to scowl further, but I shushed him before he could derail my train of thought. \"No, that's entirely it! This creature can't Thresh. It doesn't even have the receptors to even know what that means. That's why the pheromone rounds had no effect!\"\n\nThe Commander went pale at the notion, glancing down to his weaponry, before simply letting it fall slack to the floor out of his grip. He had apparently come to terms with that reality, but was still shaking his head in disbelief, glaring at me as if I was the cause of this mayhem. \n\n\"That explains it's defense, but how can you explain how that damned thing strikes without Threshing?\" I was attempting to form the words of a response, but his pale light began to flux to a vibrant red as he slowly shook his head. \"No, I will not be assuaged by doubt or confusion! I am an Elite! I have been trained to take down the most elusive of prey!\" \n\nHe took in a solid breath, kneeling in thought.\n\n\"I'm going to bring honor to my rank,\" he rasped. \"I'm going to lure it here, and take it on, Thresh or no Thresh. Get the pilot to the emergency wing. Use the evacuation vessel if you must.\"\n\nI couldn't even get the first sound of my refutation out when he stood up, letting out a valiant scream I didn't know the man possessed. I even had to adjust the opacity of my sensors as his internal light flared as brightly as I'd ever witnessed. I could suddenly see the deepest of shadow differentials for nearly three-body lengths away.\n\nAnd yet somehow, the creature could see for more. \n\nFrom the inky depths beyond the Commander's luminescence, the creature was charging. That was the only way to explain its speed when it burst into visual range, once again emitting no preemptive Thresh for any of us to detect. As if it was a nearly solid object come to life, no light from the Commander cut through the creature. \n\nBut the Creature nearly cut through him.\n\nI could only resent my medical knowledge as I witnessed it's horrifying appendage... an angular device anchored with five knobby digits... slammed into the Commander's body. Only a Doctor could appreciate the display as his Lumens poured into his primary gas-sack, which was now ruptured violently before the second blow even landed. The aggressive Violet of his glow whimpered into an Indigo spectrum, and I didn't have the stomachs to watch as the spectrum was drained violently from his body.\n\nApparently I also didn't have the 'Membrane' to try and save the Pilot, I was simply running. But not towards the escape pods, but the Core. The only way to save our people from this monster was to make sure our path was never followed. You cannot bargain with a being that cannot Thresh... so I had to make sure that no one would ever make the mistake we did with that pale blue dot."
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[WP]The world's greatest superhero is being beaten and humiliated. However, just as things are looking their worst the voice in his earpiece says, "We got the hostages! You can fight back now!"
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"\"What do you mean we got the hostages! What hostages?\" - Mr. Invincible hissed at his earpiece - \"There were hostages? Oh good God! Are they okay?\"\n\n\"No, silly. I caught Dr. NotEvil's daughter... and his dog. Things will be easy now.\" - the voice spoke calmly. - \"Just do it like we practiced.\"\n\nMr. Invincible stood up triumphantly, he spoke with utmost confidence:\n\n\"Dr. NotEvil, your days of wrongdoing are over. Now that we have the hostages, you have no way of stopping my furious wrath. Surrender now, or you might never ...um...\"\n\n\"...live to see another day.\" - said the voice.\n\n\"I don't know, Iris, isn't that too...sinister?\" - mr. Invincible whispered into the earpiece.\n\n\"The people won't mind that! You are a hero, not a linguistic professor.\" - Iris yelled at him.\n\n\"But...\"\n\n\"Say it!\"\n\n\"You might never see another day!\" - mr. Invincible sttutered, in the style of a hero.\n\n\"Hostages?\" - said the evil doctor, dumbfounded. - \"I didn't...\"\n\n\"Dave, the hostages!\" - Iris ordered -\"Avoid the cameras!\"\n\nMr. Invincible held up the hologram of a little girl and a dog sleeping soundly. Horrified, the doctor almost screamed out, but mr. Invincible gave him the \"you are already dead\" gaze, along with a mumble:\n\n\"Play along, or else...\"\n\n\"Oh... Mr. Invincible..\" - it was the most awkward acting Dave had seen in his life - \"I see that you have already...found the hostages... I keep to...\"- dr. NotEvil stared at mr. Invincible's face as if to seek approval, and he got a slight nod.\n\n\"Louder, please\" - said the hero.\n\n\"...to prevent you from fighting me at full strength! Ha! Ha! I am so ...despicable?\" - Dave nodded again - \"Despicable!\"\n\nAbove them, the hovering helicopters captured the sence perfectly, of course not seeing the hologram Dave hid in his hand.\n\n\"As it turns out, Dr. NotEvil has used a cheap trick to keep our favorite hero in check.\" -commented the female reporter. - \"Klark Cent, I will have you take back your previous comment that mr. Invincible was beaten to a pulp like Apollo Creed in Rocky IV.\"\n\n\"But he was\" - moaned Cent.\n\n\"For a good reason!\"\n\nBack at the Invincible Cave, Iris sighed at Dr. NotEvil's acting.\n\n\"He's so bad at this. Dave, plan B.\"\n\n\"Ha! Ha! Ha! Now I will retaliate.\" - said mr. Invincible with a very, very fake authentic laugh.\n\n\"You don't have to say that out loud, Dave.\"\n\n\"Sorry.\"\n\nMr. Invincible charged forward, pushing the villain into the abandoned warehouse. A cloud of dust stirred, into which the two disappeared.\n\n\"Okay. Now you take this.\" -Dave handed the evil doer an earpiece. -\"You do exactly what the voice says, and your daughter and your dog will be home before you know it.\"\n\nThe doctor took the piece without a second thought. He pressed it against his ear, and the voice started speaking.\n\n\"We can't see anything from here. Cent, is your side any better?\" - the female reporter asked, her eyes locked onto the unsettled dust.- \"Ah! Here they are!\"\n\nThe warehouse was blown away, leaving two silhouettes staring at each other in a sea of flame.\n\n\"You might have broken my arm,\" - Dr. NotEvil grunted, - \"but you will never break my desire for world domination.\"\n\n\"I thought he said New York's domination last time?\" - said Klark Cent casually.\n\n\"Well the desire got bigger!\" - the villain hissed at the helicopters.\n\n\"Wow! How can he heard us? And why does he speak so loudly?\" - Cent was amazed.\n\n\"My hatred sharpens my senses. But enough of that, we will see each other again!\"\n\nDr. NotEvil moved into his usual escaping pose, but Iris shouted at him.\n\n\"Your right arm is suppose to be broken!\"\n\n\"Well, ...never mind then.\" - said Dr. NotEvil disappointedly, before disappearing into a cloud of smoke.\n\nMr. Invincible just saved the day once more."
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[WP] That abandoned shack in your backyard you always meant to tear down turns out to be a door to another universe-and your backyard is now an interdimensional truck stop. What is a typical day like for you?
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"I awake as I always do.\n\nCursing my existence and seeking the closest psychoactive stimulant I can get my hands on.\n\nIn the past it's varied from 100% pure cocaine acquired from a universe where I existed as a promoter for Studio 54 in the 1970s,\nto MOOP, a drinkable sludge that gives the user a YEAR'S supply of FOCUS like the world's ULTIMATE adderall dose, originating from a universe in which the dark ages never happened.\n\nTHIS morning it's regular old black-coffee-caffeine.\n\nSorry, this might take some explanation.\n\nAlso, sorry again but you're not getting the entire story.\n\nI could write five-hundred WAR AND PEACE novels out of the story of me discovering a wormhole to a billion other universes in the shed behind my house and quite frankly...fuck you. I'm not writing all that. I usually have to describe it every day to whatever other iteration of ME suddenly falls into my life and I'm fucking tired of it to be honest.\n\nSo this is all you're getting: One day I discovered that there was a wormhole in the shack behind my house and EVERY TIME I entered that shack (which would later become first thing every morning) I would come FACE-TO-FACE with some different incarnation of ME from some other universe. I could have conversation with them but the INSTANT they left the safety of the shack they would cease to exist.\n\nThere's probably some deep scientific explanation for all of this but after 2 years of talking to COUNTLESS iterations of myself...I honestly don't give a shit anymore.\n\nHell if I wanted to I could just leave. Let an infinity of incarnations of myself just stumble their way out of existence as soon as they try to escape the shed in a blind panic. It wouldn't matter to me.\n\nMost of them show up before dawn anyway. I don't know why.\n\nSome days I imagine a young married couple waking up early to watch the sunrise, ecstatic at the purchase of their new house for pennies on the dollar, suddenly screaming in fear as some wild-eyed incarnation of me kicks open the door of their new backyard shack screaming, \"TO PREVENT NUCLEAR WAR MAKE SURE TO NEVER- \" and then disappearing in a spray of blood or ectoplasm or a flash of bright light.\n\nI've seen all three of those possibilities first-hand. It's what prevents me from selling this land. Even though I could buy a million private islands if I wanted to.\n\nMaybe that's why I did what I did this morning.\n\nUsually the way it goes is this:\n\n1. I wake up\n\n2. Take whatever substance nearby that will MAKE me wake up\n\n3. Go out to the shed, greet and calm WHATEVER incarnation of me that arrives\n\n4. Listen to their story\n\n5. Explain that by RE-ENTERING the wormhole they just traveled here through, it will take them to EXACTLY where they need to go so they can DO what they need to DO\n\n6. After which I'll either be rewarded with presents from their homeworld(cocaine,MOOP,winning lottery tickets, etc.) before they RE-ENTER the wormhole, or I'll be disbelieved and they'll die as soon as they leave the shack.\n\nDay-in-day-out that's my life. It's afforded me knowledge, wisdom, and insight that you could never imagine.\n\n...and I hate it.\n\nPeople are supposed to suffer the consequences of their choices in REAL TIME. You're not supposed to KNOW what life would be like if you HAD gone to college, if you HAD gotten married, if you HAD had kids, if you HAD killed your evil, fucked-up grandchildren, if you HAD pushed the button that destroyed a million innocent lives to save a billion.\n\n...but I know it all.\n\nI pull my bathrobe tighter around myself against the cold, walking towards the shack, doing my best not to think about all the horror stories I've heard from all the infinite different versions of myself over the past 2 years.\n\nHoping against hope that this morning will be different.\n\nIt's not.\n\nI open the shack door and there I am on the ground, naked, hyperventilating, panicked. Looking up at my own face for answers and finding none.\n\nEven my desperate pleas for it to all make sense I've heard before.\n\n\"Please,\" I beg myself, \" Tell me, is anyone listening? Does anything matter? Are we all just floating dust in the universe or by coming here am I setting in motion a chain of events so important that it will eventually result in the death of every living human being in existence?\"\n\nI look down at myself. Exhaustion giving away to rage. Rage at my own weakness. Rage at the indifference of the universe. Rage at the unfairness of it all. Rage at the horrors I've had to endure and will forever have to endure for the rest of my life across every conceivable iteration of existence. But mostly...\n\nRage at this pitiful, naked, piece of shit lying on the floor of my shack.\n\n...and then all of a sudden I'm screaming.\n\n\"NO! NO ONE is listening you stupid FUCK! *I'M* the only one who's listening and *I* DON'T FUCKING CARE ANYMORE! So NO, NOTHING MATTERS! Whether we're all floating dust or you're killing everyone you love just by coming here BOTH SCENARIOS have ALREADY HAPPENED! So FUCK YOU! Either run back to your meaningless existence in whatever universe just spat you out or leave this shed and immediately die. It DOESN'T. FUCKING. MATTER. NONE OF IT DOES!!!!\"\n\nThe words leave my mouth in a spray, before I can even register them.\n\nThe other me is staring at me, mouth agape, shocked at my outburst just as I am before he lowers his head, sadly.\n\n\"I see.\" He says, his words dripping with heartache.\n\nI notice the barcode tattooed on his wrist just in time for it to not make a difference.\n\nIn the blink of an eye, with a flick of his wrist, this different,panicked version of me throws a knife (hidden under his naked body) directly into my neck. \n\nI feel the tip of the blade pierce the soft fleshy part of my esophagus where soup used to burn the back of my throat and I realize it's gone all the way through my windpipe as I collapse to the floor of the shack fighting for oxygen with blood pouring out of my mouth and the light already fading from my eyes.\n\nAs I lay in the throes of my last breaths...my murderer is talking to his superiors...OUR superiors through an earpiece.\n\n\"Hey, this is Agent 99457-Q Iteration 28. I've got a fellow agent who just failed a psych exam I'm bringing in for disposal and replacement, stand by.\"\n\nAnd then he's dragging me by the legs towards the glowing trans-dimensional portal I've seen a countless number of times throughout the past two years as the remainder of my life is rushing out of me in a wave just like the blood from my throat.\n\nIn my final moments of consciousness I hear myself say,\n\n\"You know it's really too bad. You were doing *so* well.\""
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[WP]You've build a machine that without doubt, proves whether there really exists a God. The whole world watches as you turn it on and begin the measurement.
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"As the machine starts up it begins to spark and then explodes. I turn around to the inpatient crowd behind me.\n\n\"Well?\"\n\n\"I can't say, the machine blew up. I couldn't get any readings.\"\n\n\"Bah, you're just making excuses because your machine doesn't work.\"\n\n\"It was working fine before, I don't know what went wrong.\"\n\nI turn around and get to work sorting through the wreckage. \n\nAs I pull the broken pieces out I notice they seem to be bent into specific shapes. At first I think it's coincidence, but it's not long before I start recognising letters in the scraps.\n\nI turn around to look at the pieces I've already taken out, and they spell out a word, despite having been supposedly lain out at random.\n\n*Spoilers*\n\nAnd then the machine explodes again, destroying the message, and any evidence I could have had of it's existence."
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[WP] When you died you expected the void of nothingness. But you were shocked when you woke up in a room with representatives from multiple fantasy universes trying to convince you to live your next life in their respected universes.
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"\"C'mon!\" The odd looking man thrusting his junk at me. He was wearing a full dress, redhead wig, and stood maybe 7 feet tall. He had a stick strapped over his back, and had odd blue lines lining his arms and face. As soon as he made a slight gesture I felt my will slowly draining from me, all I knew is I had to follow this guy and fight for him",
"We walk along a white corridor, with large doors at the end, clearly our destination is beyond. \"There are, unfortunately, some limits to which universe you can choose, based on your experience in your last life,\" my guide says. \n\nI think of what I accomplished before I died. \"I can't see how much of what I did applies to any of the possible universes.\" \n\nFor the first time, Alfred pauses, and turns to look at me. \"Come now, miss. If nothing else, you've proven yourself a quick study. That can take you far in many worlds. Now,\" he begins walking again, and I follow a step behind, \"I only told you there are limitations so you understand why you might not see every universe represented.\"\n\nI nod thoughtfully as we approach the door. Alfred opens it, and gestures to me to enter. \"This is where I leave you, miss. Good luck.\" He stands dutifully as I hesitantly step into the room, and he shuts the door behind me. \n\nAs soon as the door is shut, I am inundated with voices and sound from around the very large room. It looks like an upscale costume party, with some universes having set up demos for my enjoyment, and there's a permanent bar along the right wall. \n\nYukihira Soma and his friends are cooking at a food station, and I notice them first both because of the smells, and because they are animated. Everyone is sampling the food, which looks real once it's plated. I take a plate of curry rice, but I know that world is not where I want to go. Nor with Luffy, or Eren, or Midoriya. Anime is not where I want to be. \n\nI notice the volume drop momentarily, and when i look to the food station again, it's gone. I see no signs of any more anime characters in the room. \n\nI see Sherlock and John at a booth, and they too disappear. Having the numbers dwindle as I decide is something I'm grateful for.\n\nThe room is still pretty crowded, so I take a seat at the bar, trying to quell the slight anxiety this decision gives me. Surrounded by heroes, adventurers, so many of the stories that have captured my imagination and made me wish for entry to their world. I order whiskey with water from the bartender, who may be a character I've known, but don't remember.\n\nI take a gulp and return to looking around the room. I recognize Gandalf, Sirius Black, Baymax, Moiraine Sedai, and none fade. Katniss, Lestat, and most of the Disney characters I spot only have time to smile at me before disappearing. Soon, the room seems much larger compared to the characters still left. \n\nI empty my glass and turn back to the bar for a refill, when I notice a tall man seated at the far end of the room, with empty glasses littering the bartop near him. He has mousy brown hair, is wearing too many layers and well-worn jeans. He's seated awkwardly on his barstool, with his feet resting on the highest bar, so his knees are almost flush with his chest, and he's hunched over. He's turned so I can't see his face, and looks altogether determined not to be recognized by me. \n\nAs I take in his strange behavior, Baymax approaches him. \"Sir, do you need medical attention? Your heart rate is elevated, your cheeks are flushed, and your cognitive function seems to be declining.\"\n\n\"Get outta here, ya glorified balloon,\" the man says harshly, careful not to turn toward the robot as he shoves at its pillowy exoskeleton. He grasps at his drink, grabbing an empty glass twice before finding his target. \n\nI'm watching carefully now, since this man seems determined to escape my notice. \n\n\"I'm sorry Sir, but it is in my programming not to ignore possible medical conditions. Do you have any further symptoms?\"\n\n\"I'm not sick, Dr. Lame, I'm drunk.\" He stands so I can see him in profile, pushing harder at Baymax. \"Now beat it!\"\n\nI realize who it is. He's too tall, bow-legged, and drunk to be anyone else. Baymax disappears, and he staggers a bit, surprised. He looks toward me, green eyes dark and regretful. \n\n\"Dean Winchester,\" I say simply. My mouth has gone dry. He grumbles and sits back down at the bar. He pulls out the stool next to him, then gestures to the bartender for two drinks. \n\nI approach, taking the offered stool and drink. \"I know it's supposed to be an honor and all, to have someone pick your world, but... you really shouldn't,\" he says, taking a sip of the amber liquid, not looking at me. \n\n\"Would there be a place for me there? The bunker, or...?\" I trail off, not really sure how to continue. \n\n\"There aren't any guarantees when you come to a new universe. It's a kind of reset button on your life...\" He adds reluctantly, \"but there'll always be room at the bunker for smart hunters.\" He drains the rest of his glass. \"It ain't no place for a sane person to want to be, though. The life is tough, and you know there's no escaping it.\"\n\n\"Would I be decently suited?\"\n\n\"Could use some better combat skills... You're a bit sadistic, and book smart, which helps. But it always ends bloody. And sometimes not until you've got someone else's blood on your hands.\"\n\nI say nothing, and gulp down my drink. I have a lot of unanswered questions, but I think I'd rather not know the answer yet. \"You should consider other options. You haven't talked to anyone else besides the butler.\" He looks at me for the first time, eyes full of pain. \"Don't stick yourself in something I've tried to get out of so easy.\"\n\nI smile slightly, and turn to follow his advice, if only to make him feel better. \n\nWe are the only two left in the room. ",
"So I've ended up in a room with no idea how I got here. Probably not due to the drinks I had. I'd drunk nothing but Diet Coke - caffeine without the coffee-cup, basically.\n\nThree groups of people are trying to convince me to live my next life in their universes.\n\n\"Come to Los Angeles, great food, great entertainment, and maybe even a job offer if you can get a visa\", said Alice Vaughan, owner of Anderson/Vaughan Investigations, from *The Catch* [which has been on ABC and CTV].\n\nAlice wore a business suit, pinstriped with black boots and had ginger/reddish-colored hair. She spoke with a sort of Midwestern/Southern drawl. \"If she's from LA, why is she speaking like this?\" I thought.\n\nAlongside Alice was an Indian lady called Felicity who sounded vaguely Geordie [and not quite Geordie Shore-esque in accent], dressed in a maroon-colored skirt suit with ankle boots.\n\nNext to *The Catch*'s universe, was Jo Wilson from *Grey's Anatomy* who said that I should move to Seattle. She claimed it was *good* there.\n\nNext to Jo was a woman called [Reena Thompson](http://greysanatomy.wikia.com/wiki/Reena_Thompson), a stunning redhead with an American accent I couldn't make out.\n\nIt sounded good, being in Seattle. The only Seattle I knew well was a North Yorkshire village.\n\nThen, next to her was Sansa Stark, although for some reason, she seemed impressed by the spiel from *The Catch* universe she'd overheard, and was convinced about leaving the *Game of Thrones* universe to help Alice Vaughan.\n\nWhich universe should I go for? I don't know, and perhaps maybe I should go between both the Grey's Anatomy and The Catch universes.\n\nAs for Sansa Stark joining *The Catch* universe... interesting, what's going to happen if she does, won't that ruin the Game of Thrones universe?\n\nI don't know what to think.",
"I spent my entire conscious existence in awe of the beauty around me, giving little to no thought of what comes after this life. As far as I was concerned, this life was all that mattered and my existence would cease with my last breath.\n\nThe day I fell asleep to this life was the day I awoke to what I had only prior considered to be useless fantasy. So it was with shock and fascination that I opened my eyes.\n\nThe old man smiled at me as I became aware... and then I remembered who he was and that I had been awake many times before. I recognized my guide... Zelanthe.\n\n\"Welcome back, How was your dream?\" he spoke to me, without opening his mouth. The words rang through my mind.\n\n\"Like nothing I've been through before\" I smiled at him, and let out a chuckle.\n\nWe sat in silence thereafter for a few moments in time, observing the display of my dream's failures and accomplishments. No regrets. Everything I had experienced served a purpose. \n\nFinally Zelanthe arose and motioned to a number of guides I had not been aware of. Each of them introduced themselves and explained what sort of dream I would be experiencing if I so chose... multiple universes with multiple opportunities and lessons. But which one do I choose? \n\n\"When you are ready...\" Zelanthe assured me. \"Take your time...\" ",
"Flashes of my life appear before my eyes, as dim recollections.\n\nThe stray dog that I found, and carried home, despite my mum’s protests. The time when we smashed a window with a baseball and hid beneath the bushes.\n\nThese events flash by, one by one, until the final one…\n\nThe image of me falling to my doom.\n\nI’m embracing death, as the nothingness gets closer.\n\n**splash**\n\n---\n\nBlank. Nothingness. I can barely see anything.\n\n“Oh, you’re awake. Finally.”\n\nWhat is this voice? Am I in heaven? Has an angel or demon come to bring my actions to light?\n\n“Come on…” snap snap “come on, wake up.”\n\nSlowly, my eyes blink open, a morsel at a time. The glaring light – I must be dead. There’s simply no explanation.\n\n“Jeez, took you long enough.”\n\n“Where… where am I?”\n\nThe cloaked man rolls his eyes, and sighs before taking a smoke.\n\n“Look, I’m not your ‘God’ or whatever the hell you people believe in, a’ight? My name’s Matteus, I’m from Realm 143. I don’t have a lot of time to explain. Come with me.”\n\nJeez, this guy seems like such a douche.\n\n“Why should I go with you? You seem like a douche.”\n\n“Well sorry I can’t be nicer, a’ight? It’s been tough enough for me – you know how many dimensional portals I had to open up? You would seem like a douche if you’ve been travelling to search for ‘special’ people like you all across the world!”\n\nWait… special?\n\n“What do you mean, ‘special’?”\n\n“Well you see, you’re the first person from Realm 1285 that I’ve managed to come first to. You guys’re special because you’re… what’s the word…”\n\nHe whips out a thick book, and a thick pair of spectacles. Furiously flicking through the pages, dust coming off of every turn of the page.\n\nStrangely, the door to this room seems a bit bulged - clamours and grunts can be heard outside - who knows what that is.\n\n“Ah… there we go. You’re a human. Humans are extremely needed in our world, for reasons that are pretty long to explain.”\n\n“What reasons? I’ve got all the time in the world, explain away.”\n\n“Yeah, but this place isn’t good to stay for long. Because…”\n\nBLAM! The door busts open, revealing a myriad of humanoids with different shapes and sizes, each one yelling on top of each other.\n\n“Join me!”\n\n“Yeah, join us here!”\n\nEventually, two barely squeeze past the doorway.\n\n“Hey, 143! This is our territory! Git yer own humans!” The large one shouts.\n\n“Yeah! 288 has zero humans, compared to your 500! Wait your damn turn, 143!” The small one pipes up just as loudly.\n\nCloaky pipes up, and takes my hand. “See what the hell I told you?”\n\n“Let go of me!”\n\nI jab my hand back to my chest, and Cloaky quickly lets go.\n\n“What the hell is going on?”\n",
"As I slowly gained consciousness I first felt the intense, bright light. It emitted a soothing warm sensation but the intensity of it burned my pupils, even with my eyes closed. Next I felt where I was lying was very uncomfortable. As I eased my eyes open I saw that I was lying on a large slab of marble. Realizing what had just happened for the first time, I saw that I was wrong. My whole life I had referred to myself as a \"devout atheist\" which really peeved off my religious family. I had enrolled in an Ivy League University after high school, edited the college's notoriously liberal newspaper, and campaigned on the separation of church and state my entire life. The last thing I expected after losing consciousness in a horrific car accident was to awaken in an afterlife. Soon, however, things were about to get a lot more bewildering.\n\"WELCOME.\" came a booming voice from somewhere in front of me. \"Sit down, join us.\" I looked towards the voice and saw a large wooden table sitting in the center of this mostly empty marble room. The center of the table was filled with a buffet which suspiciously contained all of my favorite foods, and nothing I didn't enjoy. The combination of smells that wafted to me made my mouth water. Surrounding the table digging in to the buffet were mostly men with a few women each of which appeared quite, well, unique to say the least. A man at the head of the table donned with white robes and a grey beard gave a hearty chuckle and exclaimed, \"Come on! Despite our motley appearance, we won't bite. Dying always makes morals so hungry!\" As I approached the table in confusion, my eyes scanned across the people sitting there. The older gentleman who greeted me seemed fairly plain but an odd shining aura surrounded him. Another man, perhaps not quite as old, sat across from me wearing a heavy fur bear pelt above leather scabbards. Two crows were perched silently on his shoulders observing the gathering, perhaps making up for one of his eyes, which was obscured by an eye patch. To my right sat a muscular bald man draped in a more revealing orange robe, and to my left sat a disturbing... creature. He wore gold jewelry and had the head of some sort of dog. As I sat down he stared at me and offered me a disturbing grimace. These were only a few of the interesting characters seated at the table, as a grabbed a slice of Key Lime pie to put on my plate. Beginning to realize what exactly was happening here, the man at the head of the table confirmed my thoughts.\n\"So, which afterlife do you choose?\"",
"\"What universe are you from\" \n\n\"Bloodborne, come brother, and partake of the good blo-\" \n\n\"Nah i'm good, how about you?\" \n\n\"The force is strong with you\" \n\n\"Okay, interresting, how about you?\" \n\n\"I am a representative of the universe of the game \"monster girl quest\" and we-\" \n\n\"Sold, 100%, lets go\" ",
"I ended. Then I began again. They all stared at me. I recognized many of them. I remember having posters of several on my walls in my apartment. They were tattered, having been moved around every few years across towns and state lines. They were kept because the lessons I learned from their stories were nearly the same as the memories of my father and the time we spent looking at seashells. I didn't bother asking for names, I knew them all. \n\n\"Doctor,\" I said, pointing to the slender grey haired man in the corner, \"Why are you here?\" He gave me that frowning smile, that cunning smile that he forced when he knew you'd need something to comfort the bad news.\n\n\"I think you and I both know the answer to that one, Jane,\" he said. \"What's left for you to do now is choose.\" Choose. I've had to choose so many times in my life. I chose between getting my doctorate and raising my own daughter. I chose between standing with my fellow researchers or keeping my job. I chose between my own career and attending my father's funeral.\n\n\"What's the point? I've always made the wrong choice.\" I could barely get the words out of my mouth when a 14 year old boy in a red shirt hugged me.\n\n\"Then start making the right ones.\" he said, his eyes lighting up like the stars. \"I believe in you.\" He always knew how to make me feel so pure. \"If Steven believes in me, then maybe I should.\" I reply, holding back my tears.\n\nThey all know how to make me cry, but they helped me when I needed them, even if I didn't always learn the lessons they tried to teach me. I owed it to them to speak face to face. I made my way across the room. I don't know if he was holding it for me, but Barry Allen's heart was beating slowly, as if to savor the moment. I shared a quip with Malcom Reynolds, and told him we'd share a drink. Oliver Queen pulled out a bottle of vodka then and there, and we started pouring a shot for all who joined. There must've been more glasses than vodka, as half of us toasted with an empty glass, with the exception of Dean, who grabbed a shot out of Thor's hand. Sam handed him his as not to upset the god of thunder.\n\nWe talked for what felt like forever. We laughed, and shared dreams of what we could. All but The Doctor, who stood in the corner, giving that same frowning smile that made me love him. He knew that I knew.\n\n\"By the way, Doctor, you never answered my question.\" I said. \"Why are you here?\"\n\n\"The same reason as any of us, to help you choose, Jane.\" He said, that Scottish twinge pulling my heart. \"Where do you want to go? You can come with me, if you'd like.\"\n\n\"That's not my question, Doctor.\" I took one last look at them, the men and women who shaped me. \"Why are YOU here? Where are the rest of you? You have 13 faces currently, why am I seeing only one, and not the current one.\"\n\nHe smiled. I didn't notice the shaking in my hands until now. The same shaking I felt when I apologized to my daughter for failing her. \"Because you didn't mention any other version of me, Jane.\"\n\nI remembered how I ended. It was driving my grandson away from the house where his mother died, pledging to do for him what I couldn't do for her. Then, I began here. I am but a story, I arc, I reference so that those who listen can relate. But, I'm merely fantasy.\n\n\"Well, Jane, what do you choose?\" He asked, all hints of hope away from his face.\n\n\"All stories must end.\" I said, \"I'm just glad mine got to let me go out on a good page.\"",
"There it is folks. I think I died. Well, time to experience nothingness it seems. I think an hour has passed. It's kind of difficult to tell to be honest. Awfully quiet so far... Oh well, I guess I'll read a book or something. As Isiah muttered that to himself, a copy of the \"Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire\" materialized on the ground beneath his feet. \"Neat trick eh?\", spoke a warm, friendly voice!. \"Except it's not a trick, it's magic!\". \"Wait, what? What just happened?\", questioned Isiah, his voice half cracking. His own voice sounded similar to his real voice, with a touch of an ethereal timbre infused into it. Almost like he was using a microphone inside a large room. \"Still can't believe it eh?\", continued the friendly voice. \"This, my friend is the Room of Representatives.\". \"The what of what?\", asked Isiah, this time visibly more confounded than before. \"The Room of Representatives of course my kind sir!\", continued the voice and as it reverberated across the spacious windowed room, a tall, thin, bespectacled figure with a magnificent beard appeared in the distance and began closing the distance between it and Isiah with small comfortable steps. \"My name is Albus Percival Wulfric Bryan Dumbledore and I, ehm, represent the world of Harry Potter and his friends! Others will also come and speak with you, but we have the best chocolate cookies! --If you like this so far I will continue by introducing characters from more universes!!!--",
"An elevator? I thought I died?\n\nI wonder were It's going. \n\nOh god is that that damn bap bap americano song.\n\n*Bing*\n\nUh, finally. \n\n\"Welcome Micheal, please take a seat\"\n\nWait... Is that Gandalf?\n\n\"Yes yes, sit sit. Are we all ready to start?\" Gandalf addressed the room.\n\n\"I...uh. What is going on here exactly?\" I asked \n\n\"Oh did you not listen to the elevator introduction?\" He asked\n\n\"What?... no What introduction? it was that stupid bap bap americano song. what is this?\" I was becoming increasingly confused\n\n\"What? Oh god dammit Lucius. Again? Really? That song isn't even that annoying.\" \n\n\"Look can you just tell me what is going on here?\" I asked irritably.\n\n\"Well basically, you've died and well...this is the next level\" he replied\n\n\"Next level? Is life a game?\"\n\n\"In a lot of ways ye\"\n\n\"Ok ok, so who are all these people are...\"\n\n\"Fantasy characters from your world\"\n\n\"And you are here...\"\n\n\"To persuade you to join one of our worlds\"\n\n\"For real? Like, no joke this is the afterlife?\"\n\n\"Pretty sweet, huh?\"\n\n\"Why don't they put this in the Bible?! This is awesome!\"\n\n\"If we put it in the bible then everyone would just end up committing suicide\" Jesus spoke from one of the far off tables\n\n\"Wait, Jesus? You're here too?\"\n\n\"Well ye, the bible is technically fantasy\"\n\n\"Woooah you can't say that\" I said, glancing over my shoulder\n\n\"I can do what I want, I'm the son of god\"\n\n*Continued later*",
"\"We have the force, and awkward brother-sister stuff. We don't know why but your world recently started liking keeping it in the family. We don't judge!\" The representative of the Star Wars universe said, \"also we have light sabers!\" \nI nod at his attempt to persuade me to join his universe. It wasn't much better than the other ones so far. \n\"Hey there!\" A man said, his skin sparkling in the sunlight. \"In the Twilight universe-\" \nI continued walking without listening to this speech. I could hear the man mutter something about how they never got anyone to join. \n\"SUGAR! SPICE! AND EVERYTHING NICE!\" the words were shouted by a tiny man with a mustache and a top hat. I considered it for a moment but this one didn't have something special for the average Joe. \nThere were others, many, many others. I decided to skip the Lovecraftian universe and several others that my sanity wouldn't handle. All the way at the back I saw a figure in green armor. He wasn't screaming at me like the others. It was like he knew people wouldn't join him so he didn't bother. I walked over and stood in front of him. \n\"Why?\" He asked. I shrugged and smirked. \n\"Duty is its own reward. I'll die in almost all of these universes you know. Better to die for the Emperor than live for yourself.\" \nThe guardsman smiled at me and made the sign of the aquila. "
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[WP] You are a King/Queen from medieval times. Somehow you accidently traveled time to current Date. Now you are visiting an exhibition about yourself and your kingdom.
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"'What a pig!\" one woman scoffed. \"Sixteen wives?! Forty-two concubines! I would have *never* agreed to be a part of such a thing! Never!\"\n\n\"But,\" I pointed out to her, \"you wouldn't have needed to. Most of those concubines were women he gathered after raiding their villages and killing all the males in their family. So, you wouldn't have had a choice, if he had wanted you.\"\n\nShe stared at me in horror, moving away. \"You're a pig just like him!\"\n\nThe tour group moved on to the next exhibit, and the tour guide pointed to a picture of one of my many golden statues and said: \"This is one of the many monuments he forced his slaves to build in honor of his name and glory.\"\n\nAt the word \"slaves\" several people shook their heads and a low murmur rippled the crowd. One man even elbowed me in the side and said, \"Can you believe this guy? Slaves? Really?\"\n\n\"Who else would have built his monuments and statues?\" I asked in return, thoroughly confused. \n\nThe man looked at me awhile, then shook his head and turned away. \n\n\"Child sacrifice was a common part of the culture,\" the tour guide went on. \"No one can say for sure exactly how many kids he had, and it is commonly speculated that the reason behind this is because he sacrificed most of them to the gods.\"\n\n\"That -- and that a king must be an example for his kingdom,\" I spoke out. \"What good king could ask his people to sacrifice their children and not sacrifice his own every once in awhile?\"\n\nComplete silence.\n\n\"Did you just call him 'good'?\" one person shouted out.\n\n\"Is he not? Would it have been preferable if he kept his own children alive, while asking for the lives of those he commanded and ruled over?\"\n\n\"It would have been *preferable* if he just *banned* child sacrifice and no children were sacrificed at all!\"\n\nI shook my head. \"Then the gods wouldn't have been appeased.\"\n\nThe crowd rose up in an uproar, and bloodlust arose up in me as I searched around for a weapon to fight these attackers and accusers with.\n\nA man in blue emerged from the crowd and they immediately turned to him. Obviously their king. His name, according to the rectangle patched to his shirt, was Security. They entreated upon him to \"Get that monster out of here.\" The monster referring to me. \n\nI was not worried. He was bigger than the rest, but smaller than me by far. Plus, his paunch and carelessly open stance indicated to me that he lacked the fighting experience that I possessed. \n\n\"Hey, buddy, I'm going to ask you to leave,\" he said.\n\nI paused. *Leave? I was not being held as a captive? What foolish king would allow a king in his midst to escape and come back with his army?* as I planned to do. \n\nBut I did not argue. \"Very well,\" I said with a nod. \"I will return.\"\n\n\"And if you do the police will be waiting,\" he said. \n\n\"I will vanquish them as well,\" were my parting words as I proudly - but quickly - made my escape before he changed his mind and had his subjects seize me. \n\nOutside, I looked around at a world that was not my own. A kingdom so far removed from the one that I had known. I did not even know where to begin finding my way back. And for the first time it truly hit me.\n\n*Where am I?*\n",
"\"I say, that is an outright lie!\" I spoke loudly, pointing to an exhibition of myself at an axe block, a 'criminal' about to be executed by my own hand.\n\nIt had taken me about a week to get used to what had happened and though I couldn't understand it entirely, there was simply nothing that could be done. This was the world that I now resided in. Despite my best efforts, I was not to see my people again and I had to admit, it was heartbreaking.\n\n\"History is history, you can just say something was a lie because you disagree,\" a voice came from my right.\n\nGlancing to the woman, I looked her up and down. She was wearing a 'tank-top' along with 'shorts' and was looking absolutely scandalous. \"History? Bah, the only thing that has been moderately accurate is the statue of me itself. I say, they really got my jaw down didn't they? I'll have to find out who produced this work and praise them.\"\n\nLooking back to me, the woman scrutinized my facial features before replying, \"Wow, haha you really do look like him. I wouldn't say that's a compliment though. King Jeffery wasn't a kind man.\" She pointed over towards a few books that were open to different passages on display. \"I read in one of those books over there--which brought me to this here statue--that he executed everyone that he deemed a criminal personally. How sadistic do you have to be to *want* to dish out punishment yourself?\"\n\nGlancing to the books, I shook my head, \"My dear, I can assure you with confidence that I did not such thing. It is a fabrication, possibly propaganda by those dastardly Tarquins. They would go to any lengths to slander my wonderful image.\" I scoffed for a moment, remembering the impending war between our two countries before I was suddenly brought... well. *Here*.\n\n\"Have you even read history? The Tarquinians were just and heroic. When they fought the Caravins it was seen as a freedom war. King Jeffery was known to enslave people and those he couldn't enslave became indentured servants. The Tarquinians didn't agree and so they fought for the freedom of the Caravians, duh.\" She smirked as if giving me a lesson but I shook my head.\n\n\"No-no-no, madame you must understand that is simply not how things went. If anything, it would be easy to state that you have things turned around. Lord Gabriel of the Tarquinians had tens of thousands enslaved, how do you think they were able to produce such a military might in the course of only a few years? Swords and shield do not produce themselves young one,\" I must have sounded grand as I corrected her. With a grin I continued, \"It was I, who aimed to fight the Tarquinians for freedom of those enslaved by them. The 'indentured servants' you speak of I am unsure of, though this title does not sound pleasant either. Yes, we were so close to war. We had prepared for some time before...\" I paused, realizing that this 'history' took place after I had left. \"Wait.\"\n\nShe shook her head and snorted while looking away. I ran over to another one of the exhibits and began to read. I was thankful that at least our language continued through the ages but what I managed to find out was horrible.\n\nWithout their King at the helm to lead the way, the Caravians were slaughtered in several major engagements. I read on, learning more and more about my people:\n\n\"At the Battle of Hramguard, arguably the final battle which ended the Caravians, General Luther surrendered to the Tarquinian Knights. For their evils however, a short war trial was conducted and the surviving members of the Caravian War Machines were executed.\"\n\n\"Luther...\" I spoke, my eyes beginning to burn. My heart ached. My hand rose to my chest as I began to remember. Luther, my right hand man. My General. My son. Everything I had known and everything that I had fought for through my life and reign as King was gone. My entire country was now a black stain on history itself and I was able to read about all of their deaths right here. In these simple books.\n\nI wiped the tears that threatened to trail down my cheeks then. Never having known the feeling of defeat that now resided in my core, I stepped back from the exhibits. Looking around, I could see my legacy repainted and rewritten by the victors of the war. I was no longer the King beloved by his people, who fought for freedom and justice in the world. Everything had been engineered to now make me a taboo subject. A dictator of sorts who ruled over a positively evil land.\n\nBut we weren't. We were good people. My family was always sure that even the poorest citizen was fed before we had our feasts. We had vast farms and traded our excess food to local economies and communities for more than fair prices. We pioneered the idea that people should have a say in the decisions made that would affect their lives directly. No longer.\n\nTo the world, I was an evil man. My family, my son, my people. We were the traitorous monsters that simply had to be exterminated. And we were.\n\nMy heart was heavy, my body almost visibly shaking from the realization of what had happened to my people. Then I heard a soft voice coming from my left.\n\n\"Sir?\"\n\nSniffing for a moment, I looked over to a young boy.\n\n\"You look just like King Jeffery,\" he spoke quickly, a hint of excitement in his voice.\n\nExepcting to be criticized, I braced myself mentally, \"Is that so?\" I asked.\n\n\"Yes, he was great,\" the young boy spoke in what seemed like incomplete thoughts to me. I lifted and eyebrow before quiestioning him.\n\n\"You don't think he was evil?\" I asked.\n\n\"Nah, we are reading a book in class,\" he reached into his backpack and produced a small book that was oddly bound in what seemed to be more paper. \"It talks about all of the good things King Jeffery did.\"\n\nThe boy offered me the book and I began to look it over. It had colorful pictures on it and felt slippery in my hands. Written in large letters the words: *The Real King Jeffery by Arthur Wright* adorned the top of the book's front. \"What is it about?\"\n\n\"Well,\" he paused and considered how to word his response. \"A couple years ago, people started to find things out about him,\" before I could respond, he continued. \"People say that all this stuff is wrong, a lie.\" He waved his arms around to the exhibits.\n\n\"A lie? How could that be?\" I asked, urging the boy to press on. My body filled with curiosity as I wanted to know more about this book.\n\n\"Well,\" once more and pause, \"Um, so this place makes him look bad,\" another wave around him. \"But a lot of people think it's a uh,\" he paused and thought for a moment, \"A uh, fabri-cuh-mation.\"\n\n\"A fabrication?\" I asked, trying to hide my excitement still.\n\n\"Yeah! That's the word, so this book. It uh, talks about stuff people found that can prove all of this wrong,\" the boy reached up and turned the book over. On the back, there appeared to be a kind of summary.\n\nI read it quickly, a few words I was unable to understand but through context clues I think I got it down. \"So, you're telling me young one that this book,\" I glanced once more at the back, \"talks about documents and findings that prove King Jeffery was a good King?\" I asked with energy, hoping it to be true.\n\nReaching up, the boy took the book from me and gave me a grin, \"Yup! Mr. Velasquez says in a few years they might have to take down this exhibit because it's wrong,\" the boy stuffed the book away. Glancing up, he smiled at me and waved, \"I have to go! Mr. Velasquez is calling us.\"\n\nAs the boy ran off, I watched as a tall gentleman had a crowd of young ones around him. I smiled and looked around, \"I wonder if Mr. Arthur Wright needs any help.\""
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[WP] A year for you has 730 days because you live every day twice.
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"For so long, I had always hated how long time was. It was a funny thing. Each day played out twice, one after the other. It never changed either, for whatever reason I had no control over it. It was like, I made the decisions for one day, and someone would rewind and replay it again.\n\nSo long, I hated it. I thought it was the worst curse that could have been placed on someone. That was until I met Vanessa.\n\nIt was a curse and a blessing rolled into one, but I tried to use the curse aspects against itself and. tried to enforce the blessing side of things. True, I saw every argument, every tear, every heartbreaking moment a second time, but it made me appreciate the good times more. I was able to learn from my mistakes and try my best to give that woman the best life that I could.\n\nI saw her cry twice when I asked her to marry me. I saw her smile wide whenever I would get her random gifts. I got to watch her blush twice when I embarrassed her for a laugh in public. See that look on her face when our daughter Lily was born twice. I did my best, really I did.\n\nI took the lessons from arguments with her and peeled away what I could to make it up to her. I tried so hard. But with all the blessings that I received from this curse, nothing could prepare me for what was to come.\n\nI got to hear the doctor tell us that she was sick, twice. I got to watch her grow worse, take the pills, go to appointments, see the struggle. Twice. Each second day replayed and I saw all of the horrible things Vanessa had to go through again. I don't know how I did it to tell you the truth. Watching the second day, listening to her throw up, cough up blood. I saw her weakly move from room to room, insisting that she didn't need any assistance in walking.\n\nA few years felt like decades and not just because I saw everything happened again.\n\nI watched her chest stop moving twice. Her eyes closed for the last time, twice. My wife died, in front of my eyes from a sickness she fought so hard to resist a second time after my heart simply could not bear it the first time.\n\nI explained to Olivia in the best words I could think of that her mother was gone. Watching it the second time, I knew I chose the words poorly. But really, how can anyone know what to say in that situation.\n\nVanessa's passing was handled poorly by me. I knew it, because I got to see it again. My time on this world was doubled and the agony that sorrow that I felt lasted forever.\n\nThe only solace I could take from my curse presented itself when I needed it most however. Olivia getting good grades, presenting him with art and other assignments she was given high marks for, her graduating from high school and going to school. She became a teacher and I got to feel that pride of all her accomplishments, twice.\n\nThroughout my life I loved and hated this curse, but in the end, all I could do was take the good with the bad. Life is a funny thing. People truly take the small things for granted more than they realize."
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[WP] You keep getting put in alternate realities and the only way to get out is to find the difference in that reality then your original. No matter how big or small.
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"The president droned on about how well the economy was doing. \"We’ve reached full employment, added universal basic income for every person living in our great nation, and completely eliminated cancerous diseases.\"\n\nWell this one was going to be easy. \"Where’s Waldo,\" I said aloud. Luce, my \"wife\", began to ask why before she faded out of existence. The television, the framed picture of the kids, Chambray—our cat—, Gimli—our ficus—, the whole house. This was the third \"door\" I had passed through. Apparently there were ten. I was caught in some kind of alien version of the Turing Test for reality simulation. Was I able to tell if this reality was any different from my own? \n\nYeah, \"Where’s Waldo\" was a weird code word, but the Oompas, as I had taken to calling them, explained they didn’t want to choose a word I might say by accident—guess they had BDSM on Exillon 9. They were short, squat, and all looked relatively similar, and it didn’t take much for me to imagine them all breaking out into song while they had explained the situation.\n\nThe blackness that had replaced reality drifted away like fog, revealing a stark white room. I was sitting in front of a table. Across from me were three Oompas.\n\n\"Guys, come on,\" I began, \"are these going to get any more difficult? Universal basic income? You *do* realize the president in *my* universe is a reality T.V. star, don't you? Do they have reality T.V. on Exillon 9?\"\n\nThe three of them stared back for a moment. The middle Oompa peered down at his clipboard and sighed. \"For the last time Mr. Arthur, our home planet is *not* called Exillon 9. And yes, we have arrayed the difficulty of the simulations in ascending order. Previous subjects experienced severe psychological trauma if we moved too quickly. We have increased the number of simulations and the difficulty gradient to account for this.\"\n\n\"I mean I get that,\" I said, \"but if your goal is to create realistic universes that mimic Universe Prime, you’ve got to do better than that.\"\n\nThey had told me to call *my* universe, Universe Prime. The Oompas continued, \"Our goal is not to mimic your original Universe, Mr. Arthur, it is to understand the psychological impact of simulated reality on human beings and other intelligent life. These are merely tests. Are you ready to begin the fourth test?\"\n\n\"Sure.\" \n\nThe fourth test was definitely a step up. They dialed back the differences in geopolitics. It took me nearly three years to figure it out, which was a far cry from the month it took in test three—I never had paid much attention to politics. Luckily the Oompas knew how to stop me from aging for the duration of the tests, so taking three, five, or ten years to complete a test didn’t really matter. It was actually kind of cool, and I got to spend extra time with my \"wife\" and \"kids\" at least. \n\nNumber five didn’t take nearly as long, but I could imagine why it had come after four. All the people of Ireland were atheists. Six was tough, if only because I don’t travel to deserts often. Seven was among the more subtle, but luckily Luce had always wanted to get her scuba certification. Eight, I'd rather not talk about. And I almost failed number nine after my wife bought our kids the actual \"Where’s Waldo?\", and I almost said the safe word aloud one day.\n\nTen was the last and final test. They told me it would likely take the longest, and that they would remove the age inhibitors. That part scared me, but they assured me that pass or fail, everything would be alright.\n\nSo I lived. I set out to explore the world, trying to find the differences. For the longest time, I focused on each detail, I researched subjects in the library, I went back to college. I tried to hunt down the minutiae of life’s deepest mysteries and experiences, all in an effort to find *something*. For whatever reason, the lack of discovery didn’t frustrate me. I kept on pushing.\n\nThe kids grew up, went off to college. The wife and I retired. After spending what felt like an eternity in this simulation, it was hard to distance myself from *this* reality. Time continued to drift away. Eventually it got the best of Luce. I had almost snuck \"Where’s Waldo\" into the eulogy I wrote. I wanted it to end.\n\nMy kids graduated and got jobs. They would call me every now and then, but the calls came fewer and fewer. I’d see them when they’d stop by to check with the home on how I was doing. But I held out hope that I’d solve the final test, on behalf of humanity.\n\nOne day, I closed my eyes a final time. \n\nDarkness overtook me for a long while.\n\nEventually it was replaced by the white room. \n\n\"Congratulations, Mr. Arthur, you’ve failed the test.\" "
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[WP] You have an incurable disease, so you volunteer for a very risky mission: you are cryogenically frozen, placed on a Near Light Speed space ship, and fired into space toward a cluster of "nearby" galaxies.
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"\"You're gonna have to let me go sometime, angel,\" I muttered. There wasn't breath left for much more than that.\n\n\"But not this way!\"\n\n\"What? You'd rather be at my funeral in less than six months?\"\n\n\"No! No, but - but this might - what if this is worse?\"\n\nI smiled as best I could - more of a smirk, really.\n\n\"Anything's gotta be better than bein' s-st-stuck in this r-room, waiting.\"\n\nI wish she could be in here without all the sterile gear. Wish I could hold her hands without the gloves between us, and that her beautiful eyes weren't hidden by the glare off the plexi-mask.\n\nAnd damn, do I wish they'd turn off the airflow system. Sure, it keeps the germs off, but if I wasn't already half deaf before I ended up in here, I would be now.\n\nThey still never have totally figured out what happened to cause this. I always had some health issues, but nothing that should have led to a near-total immune system collapse. They've checked for every microbe, every mutation - zillch. Dr. Hammanbacher says best guess is some latent effect from the Hyperion clean up. The protective gear we had, once we got some, wasn't the best, but even the others who were there with me at the beginning, before the gear arrived, never got this sick. This doomed.\n\nIt's just a matter of time until something sneaks through the system and wipes me out. At least if I stay here.\n\nBut if they put me in the cryo, that stops everything, and maybe someday, somehow, there'd be a chance to fix me. If I was important, I mean, or rich, or came from an influential family, they'd stick me in a lab somewhere until they cracked the case and found a fix. Hell, the only reason I'm getting this chance is that damn crusading journalist who made me a public hero. She got the public on my side - well, got them to realise I even existed - and they somehow managed to con the bigwigs into doing something. Maybe they marched, or protested, or boycotted somethin'. I've never been sure.\n\n\"Isabella?\"\n\nDr. Dane's at the door, with the government goons at his back. They want my wife to leave now, I guess. Don't want some messy grieving spouse scene, probably. Or maybe she's gotta sign something.\n\n\"Well, Al, you ready to go?\"\n\nHow'd Dr. Dane get over here so quick? And when'd he get the sterile gear on? He was just in a lab coat by the door a second ago. And when the hell did they drop the transit dome down over the bed?\n\nI think I've been dozing off a lot.\n\nI kinda try to nod, but then the next I know, they've got me in a different room. Dr. Hammanbacher's right outside the dome, checking a monitor.\n\n\"Stop fighting the gas, Al,\" she says. \n\"Just go to sleep.\"\n\nI don't wanna sleep. Not now. And suddenly, I don't wanna go through this thing. I just wanna go in a normal room and let some microbe get into my system. Somethin' that'll take me quick. Anything so they won't turn me into a meatsicle and then fling me out into the deeper cold of space - in a ship built by the same damn company of idiots who let the Hyperion shit go down. The idiots who basically signed my death warrant.\n\nOh, no. No. I just wanna go home. I don't care if I die, now or in a month or a year. I don't wanna go out there, all cold and alone, rocketing through the nothing, with no guarantee I'll ever fetch up somewhere safe. I don't - I take it back!\n\nJust please, lemme unsign - unsign tho-those forms. Lemme go... ",
"Everybody dies. That was my response when I found out that I had been diagnosed with stage 4 terminal knaphonia-lyngoses ( a disease as messed up as it sounded). My indifference to my fate was what prompted the NASA officials to visit me in the first place. \n\nMission parameters were straightforward. I was to be frozen in the cryogenic chamber, placed on a new rocket and hurtle toward the galaxies at speeds close to the speed of light, in search of friendly neighbors in the galactic universe.\n\nYes there were risks involved. But my mind was made up from the beginning. A second chance at life or simply die like the lonely fool I had become. So with the stroke of a pen I signed my life away.\n\nI'm sitting here in the chamber now, awaiting my cold fate, hopeful that my mission won't be in vain. Surely we can't be the only forms of life in this vast universe. In some far off galaxy there awaits an advanced civilization who haven't destroyed their planet the way we humans have to our own. And I must be that beacon of hope that life does indeed find a way. To the stars i shall go... what dreams may come?",
"They don't tell most of the volunteers the whole story. \n\nYou know what's out there?\n\nMassive chunks of rock trapped in gravitational orbit around distant balls of plasma. Rogue mother fucking planets, literally in between stars in that infinite expanse of nowhere, and not only that, but the fact that a single mite of dust can fuck up an entire solar sail at even a percentage of light speed? \n\nYou know how cold that shit is? You know what kind of testicular shrinkage we're talking about?\n\nThey don't tell you that. They all spout 'For the future of humanity' and for science and blah blah blah blah blah\n\nSo here I am, a professor in mathematics who wrote a couple pages on space travel - all theoretical, mind you, and these assholes are not only telling me that we're not even going to a distant star, but to cross through dark matter out of the bounds of the Milky Way, a shot so God damn ridiculous that we're aiming for a fucking cluster, just praying that the gravity well is big enough to bring us into orbit.\n\nSo what did I say?\n\nHell yeah.\n\nSee, my wife smokes. A lot. So lo and behold I get stage four from second hand smoke. A real fucking knee slapper. So here come another bunch of eggheads, all flashing that same academic bullshit I used to peddle. FOR THE GREATER GOOD and etc. It works on graduate students, and apparently dying men as well.\n\nSo strap me to an experimental craft. Why the fuck not?\n\nMyself and several other dumb fucks all get strapped into a shuttle to get launched to the ISS, where they're building the real craft to shoot us off into oblivion. They've figured out a version of cryogenic technology where we don't all die from being frozen. Case in point - if someone freezes in ice, the water in their cells bursts the cell wall because, you know, water fucking expands when it freezes. Who knew?\n\nAnyway I'm sitting, waiting, watching for the launch. The only volunteer who couldn't give a shit whether or not the craft explodes halfway through like the damn Challenger. \n\nThen those G forces nearly kill me before my cancer can. I'm fairly certain one of us pissed ourselves before getting fully into low Earth orbit.\n\nHumanity's greatest construction project, and dumbest fucking investment awaits us. Solar sails, ionic propulsion, even experimental gravitational shielding, all in the hopes that our hunk of metal will last in the emptiness between galaxies. I didn't care. I just loved zero-g.\n\nThey all strap us in and hook us up, all that bullshit about the human spirit and prepare to launch us somewhere in the local cluster. Everyone nods and proclaims how deep this moment is while I sit there and just think about how ridiculous this is. When I was growing up, I always wanted to be an astronaut. But not like this.\n\nThey position us in a zone of release that will, for sure, get us out of this solar system. Hopefully out of the Oort cloud. Then we have no fucking idea. Maybe we'll get sucked into a different solar system, or maybe escape the Milky Way. To me, it's all irrelevant. \n\nThey begin the countdown.\n\n3.\n\n2.\n\n1.\n\nBring it the fuck on.\n\n--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n\nr/storiesfromapotato"
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