Split (1)

train · 199k rows

post_text stringlengths 0 17.5k	post_title stringlengths 8 314	comment_texts listlengths 1 74	num_stories int64 1 74
	[WP] You gain the lifespan of any person that dies by your hand, it only works if they are killed in a different way to your previous victims, you are a 100,000 year old serial killer planning your next kill. [NSFW]	[ "The girl lay out on the kitchen table, heavy ropes binding her limbs to the legs. She was awake, of course; The screams of the dying were always a fine side dish to the life force that was to be consumed.\n\nBut tonight, inspiration was... lacking.\n\nHe stood, back to her as she whined for him to let her go. The words fell on deaf ears, however, as the man leaned over the counter, fingers stretched on the top. In front of him lay an assortmant of objects. Kitchen accessories, tools, household objects.\n\n\"No... did that.. used this... maybe i could... no, i did that as well...\" he muttered, idly flicking objects to the sides. He ran a slender hand through the crop of black hair atop his head in frustration. In the beginning it was easy; countless ways to end a life. But now... now he had to be creative.\n\nWith a growl, he slapped aside the remaining objects, sending them clanging across the floor. Whirling, he closed the distance to the girl in just two short strides. \"Can't you be QUIET!? Whining and bitching for your life for hours, maybe I should cut out your tongue first!\" He hissed, inches from her face.\n\nIt was then that it struck him. Beautiful inspiration, like an artist seeing a vision. His green eyes widened as the young woman whimpered in fear. A grin on his face, he released her head, turning back to the counter.\n\nRummaging in a drawer for a few moments, he slowly withdrew... somthing. Turning slowly, he held it up; A potato peeler. Licking his lips, he started slowly towards her. \"Now... lets get to work.\" He cooed happily.\n\nAnd then the screaming started.", "I look down pitifully at the 5 year old. \"It's for the greater good\" i reminded myself. I flicked the knife idly from hand to hand.. Thinking of what to do, the boy is in tears of course, but nothing I'm not used to. I always use children, mostly from disadvantaged backgrounds. The pleasure of the kill diminishes from age to age. And it becomes repetitive. There are a few like me, we have built communities. But often the communities start killing each other, everyone's method is different, some prefer rape and then kill, some do mass murders, and some do it normally. I target children as they are the easiest and don't struggle as much, with a few exceptions. \n\nI wondered how to finish off this one. I had been stalking him, I knew his name was Billy and that he was scared of lightning. But I wouldn't kill him with lightning, although I made a mental note to make sure someday I did it. Billy started shouting and started wailing for his mum. I stopped and sighed. This environment wouldn't help, I locked Billy in his room and sighed. I decided to take a walk. It was a relaxing walk and I felt free, I looked around for some inspiration and finally I saw some nettles. I called back some lesson and remembered that they had tiny hairs, and that whenever you touched them they broke and released acid. It bought to mind some ideas and I likened the hairs on the nettles to the fur on the teddy bear. I smiled, I realised that I this plan would take to long to prepare and I'd have to prepare it before capturing the child. I would have to do it later. I saw no more visual clues and went to town. I was walking around when I saw a market with some blackberries, I loved blackberries. I bought some and started eating. I started thinking of all the wonderful things about blackberries until I got to the plant. Brambles. Of course! I smiled.\n\n it was easy to get brambles, and I packed them in a bag and walked home. I opened Billy's door and before he could say a word punched him. This knocked him out. I knew how to knock people out as I had done it a million times. I tenderly wrapped the brambles around him and slowly tightened them, one by one until all except his head was covered in brambles.\n\nIt was a few hours later when he woke up. And started screaming, I ran upstairs with my meal only half finished and looked. Billy was squirming around he was screaming his head off, it was lucky that I had provided soundproof material. I could see blood seeping from the brambles, the more he struggled. His neck was a bloody mess and as he needed his head from side to side the brambles he was coughing up blood now and slowly his struggling grew less. And I could see why, one of the brambles had buried itself into his neck. He slowly grew tired and was sobbing. Blood covered his body. Until finally a bramble buried to into his jugular, and he let out a final rattling breath. I slowly unwrapped the brambles and felt his wrist. No pulse I confirmed.\n\nI slowly unwrapped the rest of his body, it was covered in blood. I decided I would clear it out tomorrow, I went downstairs and finished my meal. 10 years until I would murder my next target, I only murdered every ten years. I corrected myself, it wasn't murder, it was my necessity to live triumphing over Billy's. \n\n" ]	2
	[wp] A group of characters have broken the fourth wall, and are now dedicating all of their efforts to fixing the damned thing.	[ "\"Well, fuck How did you do that again?\" Asked Bernardo to his bearded compagnon, the famed wizard Thorbjorn the Blue.\n\n\"Err... I'm not entirely sure, actually, I believe it's wehn you told me to break this damned indestructible door, I must have had a tongue slip, and I broke reality, or something like that\" He responded.\n\n\"Well, Thorie, now we have to find a way to correct your fuck-ups, I hope you are proud of BY THE LOVE OF TENTACULUS WHAT IS THAT? Bernardo screamed as he saw, behind him, a gian image of a man, strangely accomplishing a ritual on a black runic rectangle, with panes of seemingly perfect glass in front of his eyes.\n\"Hey? Hello? he said. Who are you?\"\n\nuh... me?\n\n\"Yes you! are you some sort of god? is this another Ordaly for us to reach the Castle of the Dark Wizard?\"\n\nwell, this is awkward... I'm the writer, the narrator, if you prefer.\n\n\"Oh Mighty Writer, in thy name I shall saccrifice the soul of the great magician Thorborn, for thine power is great, and thou shalt send me back to my world as a reward\".\n\n\"Wait what?\" said Thorbjorn, as Bernardo drew his longsword and attempted to end him rightly. Swing after swing he tried to struck the magician's head, until finally...\n\nin fact, you know what? no\n\nBernardo rengained his sword in his hilt, and subsequently turned to face the narrator, me, in other words.\n\n\"Uh? he said. why did I do that exactly?\"\n\nBecause I don't want you to kill Thorbjorn, I mean, what is the point?\n\n\"Well, to appease your wrath, oh mighty Writer\"\n\nBut I am not wrathful! what the fuck is wrong with you?\n\n\"Well, excuuuuse me, but I a trying to go back where I belong, and if you could LISTEN TO ME instead of creating this obnoxious nois with your black thing here!\n\nOh, you mean my keyborad?\n\n\"Yeah, whatever it is called, stop it!\"\n\nBut I can't! If I do that, you will not act anymore! You will freeze in place!\n\n\"Wait, Thorbjorn said, so our actions are prompted by this board?\"\n\nUh, yes, kind of.\n\n\"So you could bring us back to our world?\"\n\nI think so, you just need to tell me where you want to be, and you'll be there?\n\n\"Remember the Dungeon of Saralak? you must know it since you prompt us.\"\n\nI never wrote this place, but I'll try.\n\n\"Well, we just pased the indestructible door that protected the room of the Mighty Knee Protection of Grazadûn, and were preparing to take the artifact for the glory of the Kingdom of Rodnog!\"\n\nAre you sure? I believe you were trying to break that door, and you couldn't.\n\n\"Bah, humbug! these are details! Bring us back to the room of the Knee Protection of Grazadûn\"\n\nsigh\n\nokay...\n\nBernardo and Thorbjorn, finally at the end of their quest, were facing the Mighty Knee Protection of Grazadûn, which would bring glory to their kingdom, and make all the women enamored with them.\n\"Hey, Thorbie, said Bernardo, do you remeber how we opened the door? Because I don't.\n-Me neither, Bernardo, me neither\"\n\nAnd, in front of his Keyboard, the Writer relaxed after his encounter with two of the most bland and annoying characters he ever created.\n\nThe End" ]	1
	[WP] Devoid of life, every city you walk to, or drive to. Is absent of everything living. But every time you enter a city, everything was left as if everyone just vanished suddenly	[ "\"God damn\" I thought to myself, \"today's delivery is going to be a pain\". An 85 kilometer long ride, just to get this 20x20cm carefully wrapped thing to some sort of a collector. At least it's relatively well paid I guess. I'm a 28 year old married man and I do deliveries. \n\nSo I got up, got some breakfast and headed to my car. Wife wasn't at home, I guess she went to work early. It was Monday morning in October. And there was not a single car on the roads. The weather was cloudy, about to start raining. Temperature was around 17 degrees C and with slightly cold wind blowing. For some reason, I felt relaxed. Alone, protected from the possible rain in my car. This thing I was supposed to deliver was on the passenger's seat, making me more curious after every meter. Still, I managed to resist opening it. \n\nAs relaxed as I felt, I was still bugged by the fact that there was not a single car on the roads, not a single man in sight. It was unusual, especially the fact that the lights on the factories on the outskirts of the city were still not up. I felt like I was supposed to feel fear, panic or anxiousness at least - nothing. Every time I would become aware of this strange fact that I have not seen a single person on my way out of the city, there would be a brief moment of me emotionlessly wondering about it, that would quickly be overpowered by this scenery I felt I was put into. It started feeling so good, this loneliness, and as I was leaving the city I didn't wonder about it anymore. \n\nMy next checkpoint would be the gas station 30 kilometers away. I had no neccessary reason to stop however. My gas tank was full and I ate 20 minutes ago in my apartment. I guess I could have used some water. Still, it was a 40 minute ride to there. I was left alone with my thoughts and this unknown object wrapped in a black paper. As I shifted gears, my hand reached towards it. \"No!\" I said loudly. Not many things could distract my eyes from the road while I was driving, especially the stuff I delivered. I guess I never thought about it: the every day worries were what was keeping my curiosity down. This morning I had none. I still haven't seen a single person today; not even an animal for that matter. As the Sun's rays were slowly starting to fall on me after they've managed to break through gray clouds, I was starting to feel anxious. It was becoming so warm in my car. I opened my window and stepped on the gas pedal. Now I wanted to stop at the gas station, and so I did. I parked my car and headed to the store while breathing this cold morning air felt so good. The store was closed. \"How is this possible?\" I wondered. Why are they closed Monday morning? There was no one to give me an answer. I called my wife but she wasn't answering. Luckily there was a vending machine outside the store, on its other corner. I walked towards it and as I did, I realized the glass on it was broken. I had to drink some water and I grabbed the last bottle out of it. Now I knew something serious was going on and I started regretting being so unaware this morning. \n\n\"I'll have to wait for the explanation I guess\". I headed back to my car and got back on the road. I thought I could use the opportunity of no car being around and test how fast my car could go. I started to accelerate pressing the gas pedal almost to the floor. The city I was supposed to deliver the package to was about 50 km away from the gas station and I calculated that I could get there in around 20 minutes at current speed. The road was straight but I knew it from the previous time I drove on it and I started breaking because there was a sharp turning point ahead. I was now back to normal speed and I was getting close to the turning point. I saw two crashed cars but for some reason I didn't bother to stop and check what was going on as I didn't see anyone around nor in the cars. \nAbout 5km after the turn I was driving by the factories of the city I was supposed to deliver the package to. They didn't work either. \"Is it some sort of a holiday today that I don't know about?\" I was pretty certain it was not, but that doubt actually made my anxiousness go away for a moment. 10 minutes later I got into the town. \"What the hell!? How is it possible there's not a single living soul on the street?\" Now feeling slightly pissed I parked in front of my destination. It was a tall residential building. I was supposed to deliver this thing to the last floor. The enterance was for some reason not locked and I walked to the elevator which I shorlty after found out didn't work. Climbing the stairs took me 15 minutes as I had to stop every few floors because of my tiredness. I was bathed in sweat but I was there, in front of the door. I ringed the doorbell and - on my surprise - no one answered. I rang and rang but to no avail. I felt exhausted. I sat on the hallway floor next to the door and stared for a few minutes I don't even know where. \n\nI decided to open this damned package and see what's in it. The emotions got the better of me because I haven't done this before. I ripped the paper and there were two items in it. A what seemed to be a pass-ticket for some strange event with my name on it, a blank paper and a pen, and - a mirror. I took a look at it and I was shocked. My face was definitely not of a 28 years old. I looked like I had over hundred years and was about to die. I dropped the mirror on the floor and it shattered into many pieces. I thought I was hallucinating and decided to put the mirror parts back together so I could see my reflection again. No, I was not hallucinating. I felt panic. I tried to get up to see if any surname was written on the door - as it wasn't on the package, there was only the address - but there was nothing on the door, not even a peephole. I felt dizzy and weakened and sat back on the floor again.\n\nFull of wrinkles and pale as one can be, I started writing this. I feel I'm passing away, all of my energy is leaving me. My eyes are closing, my eye lids are heavier than they ever were and I am barely managing not to fall on the floor and pass out - I have this wish to write this testament for anyone who may stumble upon me and I have to stay awake. My efforts are futile, I can't withstand this anymore. I am writing my last sentences. I have got nothing more to say - I take a glance at what, actually how much I wrote and I am somewhat pleased, but not completely - is this the end? \nSuddenly, I hear the door behind me opening...\n" ]	1
	[WP] The Glib Reaper	[ "Two of them. Or maybe one with two faces. One a skull, stripped of all its earthly flesh. Cold white light shines in the eye sockets, its hands bones, and it moves through the night on a horse of Hellfire, wrapped in a robe of darkness and the souls of the damned. His name is reverence. \n\n\nThe other finds death immensely funny. Disrespectfully funny. He is round, and fat as an uncle. A good uncle, who sends real money in birthday cards and has a proper dog who plays fetch, not one that looks like a rat and curls up on people's laps. His face is ruddy, a ring that might have been a wedding band digs into his finger. Sparse hair covers his head and he wears a serge waistcoat, a pocket watch, and a Christmas Party hat. The smell of old pipe smoke and plum brandy hangs about him the same way the other Death smells like sorrow and lichyards. \n\n\nGlib Death was travelling, walking over clouds in soft red slippers. He laughed and birds stopped in the night sky to listen, bewildered. They had deserted the house to which Death came. He pushed up the sash window and slipped inside, clumsy as a donkey with four hind legs. Pulling the pocket watch from his waistcoat, Death observed the face. \n\n\n\"Oh dear,\" he muttered to himself. \"This won't do at all.\" \n\n\nHe climbed the stairs, huffing and puffing all the way. The door at the end of the hall stood cracked open, orange light glowing in the gap. Glib Death pushed it open and rocked on the threshold. \n\n\n\"Oh ho!\" he said. \"You're making this difficult for me.\" \n\n\nAcross the floor were scattered tin soldiers like caltrops. Wooden blocks and cannon formed the rough shape of holdfasts and forts. Glib Death took in the arrangement. \n\n\n\"Look at this,\" he said, impressed. \"That's Bannockburn down there. I remember that. Good day for collecting.\" \n\n\n\nGraceful as a ballerina, Death picked his way through the toys. The figure in the bed sat up and rubbed his eyes. He wore pyjamas with a train on, and the same train glowed as a nightlight beside him. \n\n\n\"Who are you?\" he asked, voice filled with sleep. \n\n\n\n\"I'm your Uncle,\" Death replied. \"Would you like to see a coin trick?\" \n\n\nThe little thing nodded. He pulled the blankets up to his chest. \n\n\n\nFrom the pocket of the waistcoat, Death retrieved an old thrupenny bit. He tossed it in the air and caught it, but when he opened his palms, the coin had gone. \n\n\n\n\"How'd you do that?\" asked the thing. \n\n\n\n\"I can show you, if you like,\" Glib Death offered. \"But you'd have to come with me.\" Surreptitiously, he checked the pocket watch. Almost out of time. \n\n\n\nBut the little thing nodded. He held his hand out to Glib Death, who took it in his own, large paw. \n\n\n\n\"Can I tell mummy and daddy where I'm going?\" he asked. \"They might worry.\" \n\n\n\n\"How about we tell them when you're there?\" Death replied. He swung the thing up and set him on his shoulders. \"Hold on tight!\" The little thing's legs kicked against his chest in glee. \n\n\n\nFor the little one, he was the funny Death, the disrespectful Death. He placed his foot out of the window and stepped into the clouds.", "\"Hey beautiful, how are you? Ready to take a walk on the dark side? Quite literally, I'm afraid, the afterlife is bleak, girl,\" the tall, shadowy figure told Alison as she lay dying.\n\n\"Excuse me?\" the woman croaked, her sunken eyes wide as she stared at the robed man.\n\nHe suddenly dragged back his hood. His skin looked stretched and taut over sharp bones. He was wearing dark sunglasses and a slick grin.\n\n\"Time to kick the bucket! I don't have time to be delicate, I'm afraid. And let's face it Alison, fourth stage skin cancer is no barrel of laughs. It'll be much nicer where we're going, I'm sure.\"\n\n\"Where are we going?\" she asked, dazed. Maybe she was dreaming.\n\n\"Okay, I was lying. Can't blame a guy for trying to make you feel good. Why do you all have to ruin it?\" he demanded. She continued mutely staring at him.\n\n\"How should I know?\" he sighed, waving his scythe through the air for emphasis. \"I just take everyone to the Grand Doors of infinity. Or nothingness. I actually have no idea what's on the other side. Maybe we should call Adele to ask, eh?\"\n\nAlison's mouth dropped open and a strangled croaking noise escaped her at the joke.\n\nBefore she could ask any more questions, the Reaper slashed the scythe in her general direction, sniggering a bit at his own joke as he did so. A thin wail escaped her. Suddenly, a ghostly girl appeared next to the bed, staring at her mangled body in horror.\n\n\"Damn it! Not again!\" the Glib Reaper cursed, burying his face in his free hand. \n\nHe sucked at Reaping, really. In his long career, he'd made a million times more ghosts than his brother, who had such perfect aim. The guy never laughed, that's why...always so damn serious...\n\n\"What have you done, Glib?\" a dour, deep voice hissed in his ear. \n\n\"Hiya, Grimmy!\" Glib grinned at his brother, trying not to flinch. Why did the guy always sense when he'd screwed up? Downright creepy, it was. \"How's tricks?\"\n\nGrim scooped up the fragmented soul and stuffed it in a spare pocket, keeping a baleful eye on Glib. \n\n\"I'll put her together again,\" he growled as Glib drifted sheepishly to the body to scrape up the remains and help with the process. \"You've done enough damage. Go away, Glib.\"\n\nHe couldn't resist one last snipe - there was always time for a little gallows humour. \"Be careful with her skin, it's delicate!\"\n\nHe disappeared before Grim stabbed him with his own scythe. Maybe he should go find Gin. His youngest brother was so much more fun.\n\n___\n\nYou can find more of my work on my new sub, /r/Inkfinger/" ]	2
	[WP] You become a millionaire, but rather than doing anything spectacular with the money, you just travel from town to town trying not to settle down or be noticed. But a group of men have been following you and are not happy about your current lifestyle.	[ "I sipped on my Bourbon. I felt the sweet heat of the drink hit my chest. I looked over at the TV, some news story about the 2016 race was on. I laid down on the Motel bed, I was free... Well almost. \n\nI got up to peek through the shades again, and again nothing out of the ordinary. I walked back to my bed. Some would say this is not worth it, I on the other hand have never been so free.\n\nIt had been 6 months since I had packed up and left. New York never really was my cup of tea, plus those Corporate big wigs had it coming anyway. I walked over to the window again, but this time something was off, it didn't quite feel right...\n\nKnock Knock\n\nSHIT. I went to grab my gun.\n\n\"Mr Herman. We have the building surrounded Mr Herman.\" \n\nYeah fuck that, I stayed silent as a gathered my go bag. And checked my ammo, if I played my cards right I just might be able to make it to my car.\n\n\"This is the IRS Herman, you can't win.\" \n\nBullshit. The IRS doesn't tax stolen money they return it... Or would they, idk either way I wasn't going to risk it, either I was about to be dragged off to some corporate warehouse until I let them know where the money was, where I would be properly disposed of, or if this was the IRS they would just take their cut and hand me over to the Corporate machine. I'd seen this before, and there was only one way out.\n\nI one last time looked out the window, just a half empty parking lot with a suspicious black van. No cops. They were certainly not IRS, the IRS would have local authorities assisting them.\n\nBAM They were trying to knock down the door. BAM I heard a crack with that one, one more and the door would go. I held the gun in one hand as I stated to rush for the door. BAM the door came down.", "Motels that didn't take names, just a deposit, were the best. I kicked off my boots, lay back on a rug on springs, and closed my eyes. A couple were arguing next door, something about money. The local news oozed through from somewhere, a big story from a couple of towns over. Cars flew past just beyond the window, somehow louder than if I were lying on the road.\n\nBut, it was relaxing. No one hounding me, no ducking into stores or running down alleyways.\n\nAll I wanted was to live a nice, quiet, frugal life. Was that really too much to ask for? What's the point of becoming a millionaire if you have to keep working? I might as well have stuck with my old job down at the pizza joint.\n\nAt some point the ruckus blended into white noise, and the sweet embrace of sleep took my heavy thoughts away.\n\nHours later, when dusk had settled and half the streetlights flickered on, I awoke. Nothing in particular caused it, though the symphony of the slums carried on. I'd gotten used to that; some old, animal part of my brain knew when the predators prowled.\n\nI put on my boots. Really good ones, so comfy, great for walking. When you had a little extra cash, nice things came quick, one of my favourite benefits. Never had to wait long for a new suit, or anything else.\n\nThe hallway acted like an echo chamber, channelling the various sounds of the rooms into a swamp of noise I had to wade through. Screams and moans and chatter and television and radio, and a little roughhousing too.\n\nOut in the lobby, I passed a couple of guys in nice clothes. Nicer than you normally got in these motels. Well, whatever floats their boat, to each their own, all that. None of my business.\n\nThey chatted to the receptionist about the job a couple of towns over. Apparently, it was done by a man in his late twenties, average height, brown hair.\n\nShe laughed, wishing the police luck in finding the right one if that's all they had to go on. They chuckled back, and asked if she had any one who could have been the bank robber. She rolled her eyes, and then caught me watching.\n\nBefore she could reply, I walked out, round the corner, and ran." ]	2
Change the location and the attackers if you want.	[WP] Armed with only a quarterstaff, you defend your home from a horde of goblins.	[ "Damned antimagic fields.\n\nSomehow, my enemies had tricked me. Me! Archmage Aeryndil, High Wizard of the Council of Seven, Master Abjurer, Ultimate Magus, Champion of the Arcane. I would eat my well-enchanted hat if there wasn't some sort of betrayal or trickery going on that led to this. But that was besides the point, now. They had me trapped, and though one of my Simulacrums could probably break me out, they were mere shadows of my full power - if these fiends managed to trap me, they certainly could best my weaker copies.\n\nCursing, I faced my opponents. A horde of goblins, bearing crude, rusted weapons and makeshift hides for armor, stomped towards me, only a few dozen feet away. I hefted my staff, a priceless artifact, reduced to a quarterstaff with fancy gems in this gods-forsaken antimagic field, and considered my options. True, I could probably take on quite a few of the horde. Centuries of experience meant I was at least somewhat skilled at essentially every craft under the sun, including hand-to-hand combat. But there were too many enemies - hundreds, perhaps thousands. Some would get lucky and slip past my fine mithril chain. Eventually, without any way to heal or cast a spell, I would fall.\n \nHowever, I would not let my illustrious life end in such an inelegant way. Even as my death approached, my mind raced as I broke down my observations. There was no way these goblins were behind such a well-planned trap - so why were they here? Looking deep into the eyes of the first in line, even as he closed the gap from thirty feet to twenty, I twitched my left hand. Watched his reactions. A tinge of fear. Slightly bloodshot, baggy eyes. A snarl, not out of battle rage, but out of some other anger... At what? Traces of tears - could be from exposure, could be... Ah. They don't want this any more than I do.\n\nActing quickly before the horde's momentum carried them into me, I dropped my staff and raised my arms wide. I shouted in Goblin, searching for words in their violent, utilitarian language to convey a desire for peace, of misunderstanding that did not deserve bloodshed. This, too, was a skill I had learned many years ago on a whim, but I was glad I had mastered it in the end. My voice carried the force of my will, rippling through the air, halting the goblins as they stumbled and slid, trying to stop and hear my glorious words, dropping to the ground in tears.\n\nIn an instant, the roar of battle became nothing but a pure silence. I walked before the horde, picking up my staff as I passed and smiled faintly, until I reached the edge of the antimagic field. \"Well, that was interesting. Goodbye.\"\n\nThe instant the magic surged back into my fingertips, I was gone. As were the goblins, the antimagic field around them, and the sanctums of my enemies. I wouldn't give them another chance.\n\nIt's good being an evil overlord." ]	1
	[WP] Your field of work is giving extraterrestrials human-like experiences in order for them to better understand our way of life. Your bestselling experience is something the otherworldly beings have never faced; the very human occurrence of death.	[ "Welcome to the hyper realistic human death experience! Ok, so we'll use the usual Miller's consciousness transfer protocol to put you into a healthy human body now. As my colleagues explained to you in training, the human cognitive organ has fairly limited processing power, so you won't feel top notch intellectually, but the human death experience is mostly physical and emotional anyway. After you experience this body's clinical end of life, you'll be transfered back here on station, still in your human body for post processing. You have enough credits for 12 minutes down on the planet. I see you've chosen to be beamed down to one of their busiest city centers so you should have no trouble finding a fun way to go. Are you ready? Any questions?\n\nAs usual the client barely listened to my intro, and just poked at the liveless human body in suspension on the room, ready for the Miller's protocol and transport to the planet surface\n\nOK please trigger the upload sequence 44K-0 when ready.\n\nclick click\n\nI gave it a brief look on the telemetry channel. Just like that, this client was now in downtown Shanghai, trying his best to get a high kinetic energy impact with a motor vehicle. Hilarious.\n\nAnother client just got into the post experience wait queue, let's get him out.\n\nHolly balls that was incredible! I was told this planet makes for a very high terminal velocity, but geez - I did not see the ground coming at all!\n\nSkydiving accident, uh? A typical choice, But not a bad one.\n\nStill giggling he continued: Hey I can't seem to find my backup on the server, can you check the connection to the interplanetary network?\n\nIn my most serious time I replied: Sir, you selected the hyper realistic human death experience. Your consciousness backups have been deleted.\n\nWait you mean I can't Miller back into the body I came here in?\n\nNo I mean you can't Miller into any body now.\n\n.... Ahah. This is this some kind of joke, right?\n\n...\n\nclick click.\n\nYeah, ahah. There you go. The gift shop is outside on your left." ]	1
	[WP]The world wakes up to find everyone speaks English fluently. The thing is; "foreigners" speak with all the idioms, phrasing and context of their original language...	[ "\"Two cappuccini, for courtesy.\"\n\nSofia rolled her eyes as she turned to the coffee machine.\n'Bloody Italians...' she thought to herself, as she stared into the depths of swirling milk, bubbling into a creamy froth in her expert hands.\n'Why don't they just go to the Starbucks down the street? They'd fit right in with the hipsters and their \"ventis\", whatev-'\n\n\"What cock are you saying!?\"\n\nThe woman's exclamation to her partner interrupted Sofia's thoughts, bringing her back to the present just in time to stop the boiling milk before it overflowed. She turned with their coffees, stifling a giggle. 'At least sometimes their mannerisms are as funny as they are pompous.'\n\n\"Thanks one thousand!\" said the man, flashing Sofia a smile, but her gaze had lingered on the woman beside him, who stood, emanating beauty, her fine olive skin unbrushed with makeup and her perfect hair thrown across one shoulder- There was fire in her eyes.\n\n\"Seriously, what cock are you saying?\" she continued, as her boyfriend carried their coffees to the table \"Your mother lives in the whales arse, we are not going to her house at the weekend!\"\n\n\"Come onnnn, don't break my chestnuts, we can't throw the package now! And personally I don't see the hour to see my dog again!\"\n\nSofia couldn't help but eavesdrop, but she had no idea what they were talking about. She knew all the words, but couldn't make sense of what they meant.\n\n\"Well, I don't have intention of coming. I feel as welcome as a dog in church at her house.\"\n\n\"We already said we would go! You wanted the bike, so now ride it!\"\n\n\"But go and shit Giovanni! That's not even a cock true. I never wanted to go! I just didn't want to be rude to that button-closer in front of her!\"\n\n\"She wrote to me this morning;'We'll see each other soon!'\"\n\n\"Well those are your cocks.\"\n\n\"Come on Chiara, don't spit in the plate you eat from. There'll be others, we'll enjoy ourselves.\"\n\n\"There'll be four cats. Go alone. I've already got my balls full.\" And with that, the striking young woman took her bag, and left. The man threw some coins on the table, flashed a knowing grin at the bargirl, and jogged out of the cafè in hasty pursuit.\n\nSofia wandered over and began clearing the table. 'No tip??? Send eggs!!'" ]	1
	[WP] You have a creative mind. and love creating stories. Whatever you plan or think, can never come true.	[ "I've seen the rolling green hills of Earth, I've seen the blue gradient of the ocean as it slowly turns to orange, with black outlines of birds flying across it. I've seen the Knights that's saved the princess, and I've seen the Princess that saves the knight. I've seen dragons, I've seen woods that come to life and move. I've seen tall men, short men, weird men, and the same for women. I've seen it all. I have seen the space stations, cruising along without a hitch, destined to push the frontiers of our civilization. I've seen the murders that happened last night while you were sleeping, I've seen the smile of a young girl and of a young boy, and I've seen airplanes. \n\nBut, to share it with? Why I only have my ten digits on my hands, and my feet. The left toe is named Ederd, I'm not sure why, but he likes to tell me often that his name is Ederd. My right ear likes to flutter wildly, bringing me back to reality. Then my left ear whispers to me \"You'll never leave, you know this\". And I stare at my white walls, white flooring and white ceiling. And so it begins again. " ]	1
	[WP] You're the guy/girl who can speak to ghosts. The only problem is the ghosts are all assholes.	[ "\"I am a psychic medium,\" I say.\n\n\"More of an extra-large, really,\" the ghost says. \"Unless you're talking about a fast-food medium. Those are massive.\"\n\nThe incense hits me; a sharp vanilla scent wafts in my nose. After a few hundred times, you learn to hate it. The candles are dim orange flickers in a semi-circle around a lost artifact. Of course its an old sock. Everyone uses clothing or god forbid, hair. Never a wedding ring or a favorite mug.\n\n\"You said something, is he talking to you?\" the wife asks.\n\nThere's three chairs in a triangular pattern around the circle table.\n\n\"He's sitting in the empty chair,\" I say. \n\n\"Technically floating,\" the ghost says. \n\n\"Oh my god shut up,\" I say.\n\n\"It was just a simple question,\" the wife says.\n\n\"I was talking to your husband,\" I say.\n\n\"Actually, till death do us part,\" the ghost says.\n\n\"Ex-husband,\" I say.\n\n\"I know he's dead,\" the wife says.\n\nI take a deep breath and still my frenzied heart. With my hands outstretched, I take the hand of both the wife and the ghost. \n\n\"Okay, you two, just, uh, try and hold hands. I'll guide you. Yeah like that, no, further out. She's in the right place, no, now he's moving it. Okay, there.\"\n\nTheir hands aren't touching but they're close enough. I finalize the psychic connection to learn the last moments of the husband, but they're occupied with something else. A baseball game.\n\n\"Wait, those were your last moments? I can't. Like, did you even see the murderer?\n\n\"Try checking the oven,\" the ghost says.\n\n\"You're terrible,\" I say.\n\n\"Oh my god what? Is something wrong?\" the wife says.\n\n\"He just insulted your cooking, he's not being very supportive, honestly,\" I say.\n\nThe ghost becomes more and more transparent, practically vanishing.\n\n\"Seriously, I kill myself,\" the ghost says. He vanishes along with his own faint laughter.\n\nI wrap my arm around the wife as she takes a minute to gather herself. \n\n\"So we'll never know the murderer? The police and the investigator were no help, so I suppose I'm not that disappointed. Come, I'll bake you something. Need to get back into doing things around the house even with him missing.\"\n\nWe walk into the kitchen. When she opens the oven, there's a man, trapped, looking as if he was hiding. I have no idea how he even contorted himself into that position. I hear a new voice.\n\n\"I really burned myself, huh?\"" ]	1
	[WP] You wakeup in a foreign planet, you don't remember anything but notice that you have a really advanced astronaut suit, and don't know if there's life in the planet.	[ "Hey, can you hear me? Hello? Wake up!\n\nI cracked my eyes open a fraction, then quickly shut them again as I was blinded by a bright light shining directly in my face. My head was aching as if I had just woken up with the mother of all hangovers. I groaned and rolled onto my back.\n\nOh good, you're conscious.\n\nI attempted to rub my eyes with my hands, but my fingers contacted something hard a couple of inches in front of my face. I frowned and opened my eyes a little again. It was easier this time without the light directly in my face. There was some sort of glass surface in front of my face. A helmet? I could see my hands in front of my face: they were both covered by black gloves.\n\nGloves? Why the hell was I wearing gloves? Where the hell was I?\n\nWith a monumental effort, I sat up. My head spun like a top for several seconds and I concentrated on not throwing up. That would be a bad idea with this helmet on. After some heavy breathing, I felt less nauseous and was able to gradually open my eyes once again to look down at my body.\n\nI was wearing a spacesuit, and a pretty advanced one at that. Most of my body was covered by what appeared to be black armour plating. On my right arm was a wrist computer with winking symbols all over its tiny screen. There were a few holograms visible in my helmet's visor as well, but they remained largely transparent unless I looked directly at them.\n\nMy attention slowly turned to the ground I was sitting on. It looked like I had hit the ground hard and ploughed up a furrow of earth several metres long. Looking around, I saw that I was on a low hilltop littered by small boulders and rubble in a steep-sided valley. Overhead, a bright sun was lighting up the landscape. It must have been what was shining in my face when I woke up.\n\nI slowly got to my feet, feeling several aches and pains all over my body. A twinge in my chest told me I had at least one broken rib, but it wasn't so painful that I couldn't handle it. I was trying to probe it with my fingers through the suit's chestplate when a voice spoke in my ear, making me jump.\n\nFeeling better? I used my first aid facilities to help with the worst of it, but you still took quite a lot of damage.\n\nI spun in a circle, looking around for the source of the voice. 'Who's there?' I tried to say, but my throat was parched and all that came out was a slight croak.\n\nYou're dehydrated. Hold on a sec, I'll give you something to drink.\n\nA metal spigot like that of a hamster bottle suddenly extruded into my field of vision from beneath my visor and pressed against the corner of my mouth. I tested it with my tongue and tasted the cold metallic taste of cold water. I pulled it further into my mouth and began to drink, the liquid sating a thirst I hadn't even realised I had.\n\nThe spigot retracted as soon as I released it, and the voice in my ear spoke again. It was a female voice, I noticed, and it sounded familiar somehow.\n\nAnd before you ask, it's me, your suit AI. I've been trying to wake you up ever since we landed.\n\n'Landed?' I managed. 'What?'\n\nI'm not entirely sure, to be honest, replied the AI. I only came online a few hundred metres up. You were going through the later stages of re-entry unconscious, from the looks of things. I had to use up all the propellant for the suit thrusters just to slow us down enough for you to survive.\n\n'What?' I said again, then realised I wasn't really contributing much to this conversation. 'Where am I? I can't remember anything.'\n\nI'm not really surprised. My scans are showing the after-effects of a recent mind-wipe on your good self. Whoever did that probably dumped you in orbit here.\n\n'But where is here?' I said desperately, staring around in all directions for some signs of life.\n\nI don't have too much to go on right now without the stars to triangulate our position. There are no radio signals nearby either, at least none I can pick up with this suit's antenna. At the very least, you're going to have to wait until dark to find out what planet this is.\n\n'Perfect,' I muttered. My head was starting to ache again. 'So, what, am I supposed to just sit here until then?'\n\nI would suggest that you make your way off this hilltop, at least. It's rather exposed and I'm getting some meteorological readings that indicate this planet is prone to pretty violent storms. Head over towards the side of the valley and then work your way along it. We'll go from there.\n\nWith no other option except to sit in this furrow in the blazing sun, I sighed and started to make my way down the gentle slope. The suit was much lighter than I had thought it would be; I could probably run pretty easily in this. I hopped from boulder to boulder, preventing myself from building up too much speed.\n\nYou never mentioned your name, by the way, said the AI after a few minutes of silence.\n\n'Uh, Samuel,' I said distractedly. 'Or just Sam, I guess.'\n\nNice to meet you, Sam, said the AI. My official designation is ASE18194068, but you can just call me... Kat. I like cats.\n\n'Well, um, thanks for saving my life, Kat,' I replied.\n\nNo problem, said Kat cheerily. It's in both our best interests, anyway.\n\nI rolled my eyes as I reached the bottom of the slope and began to jog towards the foot of the nearest cliff. I still wasn't sure if Kat's companionship was a boon or a curse.\n\n**\n\nThe storm rolled in around early evening, or whatever time it was on this godforsaken planet. I was sweaty and tired already from the hours of walking, something the suit's air-conditioning could only do so much to alleviate. Kat had warned me of it even before I saw the first grey-green clouds poking over the edge of the cliff above me, but there was nothing I could do except pick up the pace a little in hope of finding shelter.\n\nThen the first drops of water spattered against my visor, followed swiftly by a legion of their comrades falling from the vaporous dropships above. I felt nothing through the suit, of course, but even something this advanced could do nothing about the constant din of falling rain and rolling thunder or the sheer weight of water falling on my shoulders and helmet.\n\nThe worst part was the visibility, though. The suit helmet had a set of strong headlights, but all they did was illuminate a small cone of raindrops directly in front of me. I could barely see two feet of ground in front of me, and more than once I nearly tripped over a small stone or skidded in a deep runnel carved by the flood.\n\nEventually, after almost half an hour of battling through the elements, Kat suddenly directed my attention to the cliff face to my right. I peered through the darkness to see a large dark hole in the rock. A cave mouth. I stumbled towards it and practically fell through the opening in my haste to get to shelter.\n\nIt was surprisingly dry in here. The curtains of water falling across the entrance were all channeled into one deep stream that ran along one wall into the depths of the cave, where it disappeared around a corner. I walked over to a handy flat rock in the middle of the floor and lay down on my back with a sigh of relief.\n\nWell done,* said Kat. You've earned a rest, I think. We'll spend the night here and wait out the storm. I'll wake you for a few minutes when it clears so I can get a reading from the stars.\n\nI nodded sleepily, my mind already sinking into a fatigued slumber. The padding inside the suit inflated slightly to cushion me comfortably, so I had no problem lying on bare rock.\n\n**\n\nIt seemed like only minutes had passed between when I went to sleep and when I was awoken by Kat's gentle but firm coaxing. I got to my feet and looked out at the landscape outside. The ground was still glistening in my headlights, but the rain had stopped. Everything almost seemed too quiet by comparison.\n\nI stepped out about fifteen paces from the cave and looked up to allow the suit's sensors to pick up the stars speckling the sky. After a minute, Kat announced that she had all she needed, and I returned to the cave.\n\n'So, what's the verdict?' I said, sitting down on my makeshift bed. 'What planet are we on?'\n\nSomewhere called Fherun II,* Kat replied. We're about two hundred light years from the nearest inhabited planet that I know of. Basically all I have in my records is the name and co-ordinates. They were only updated four years ago, so for all we know there's a colony on the other side of this world that just doesn't broadcast radio signals I can pick up.\n\n'So what's the plan?' I said nervously.\n\nWell, I was thinking perhaps we could— Kat suddenly stopped talking.\n\n'Kat?'\n\nDon't make any sudden movements, she said. Slowly turn around. There's something in here with us.\n\nMy body rigid with fear, I looked over my shoulder. Something flashed in my headlights before colliding with my helmet hard enough to break one of my headlights and throw me from my seat and onto the floor. I lay there dazed for a moment, then I felt a weight on my chest as someone or something stood on it.\n\nA long curved blade of some greenish metal gleamed in the beam from my remaining headlight as its point was directed at my neck, where there was no armour. I swallowed hard and looked upwards, hoping to at least see my attacker's face before I died.\n\nThen I saw what was attacking me, and both Kat's scream and my own mingled in my ears." ]	1
	[WP] So tell me friend, how's it going to end?	[ "I stood quietly on the bridge as I looked at the empty blackness of space. All I could think about was this war. This terrible war has cost us billions of lives already, and we have been driven back to our only planet in all of the galaxy: Earth.\n\nAs I try to recollect my thoughts, the words ring in my head, “So tell me friend, how is it going to end?”.\n\n\n&nbsp;*****\n\nRear Admiral Drake Ashton looked upon his crew of the USSDF Hand of Fate (United Sol System Defense Federation). They were beyond the breaking point yet, they kept fighting. Each man and woman looked upon Ashton with a sort of reverence. He had slogged through so many ambushes, and fought off so many enemy fighters, it was a wonder that the ship was still limping along.\n\n“My fellow Terrans, we have been pushed back long enough. One-hundred million kilometers is all that separates us from salvation!”, Ashton bellowed,” We will not be stopped from delivering this intelligence on the enemy’s homeworld. We are the last of the Terran fleet in the Meridian sector, and we will prevail!”\n\n“Our ship may be beaten to all hell, but we are like the once great prize fighter of the 20th century, Mohammed Ali! We will not give in to this oppression. We will not give in to this tyranny. We will beat back the Alliance, And the Federation will be the top dog, once again.”\n\nAshton surveyed the crew, most of them now smiling, or at least showing a positive emotion.\n\n“We will prevail!”, Ashton said with enthusiasm.\n\nThe crew cheered, and Ashton was quite pleased with the display of emotion.\n\n“All crew, prepare to man battlestations.”\n\nThe lights across the ship dimmed to red, and the faint warning klaxon of red alert can be heard throughout the ship. The crew was scrambling to their post with renewed vigor.\n\nThe bridge was humming with activity, the viewscreen blank as they were travelling faster than the speed of light. All the bridge crew were furious with activity. Then, a faint beep was heard.\n\nA small statured woman in the console to the left of Ashton spoke up: “Captain, the ship’s sensors have picked up a class seven FTL probe heading to our position. Bearing zero-five-seven, inclination zero-three-zero.”\n\nAshton glanced her way, then looked to his right. “Helm, bring us about, head on collision. Raise forward shields to maximum.”\n\nThe man situated at the helm replied, “Aye sir, collision course, maximum forward shields.”\n\nAshton, face twisted into a smile and ordered: “Helm, once we are within ten light-seconds from the probe, I want you to drop us out of inter-dimensional subspace.” Ashton then clicked a device in his hand, a 20th century analog stopwatch.\n\nThe man at the helm console replied simply, “Aye sir.”\n\nAn agonizing twenty seconds passed before the ship was forced into normal space.\n\nAshton looked at the man at the helm console. “Jackson, bring us about, zero-five-seven inclination zero. Maximum torch”\n\n“Aye sir, laying in course.” Jackson replied.\n\nThe ship lurched forward as the plasma torch situated on it’s very ample backside flared to life.\n\nAshton looked to the woman on the left, “Barclay, scan for any Alliance ships.”\n\n“Aye sir, initiating full sweep.” Barclay replied.\n\nA woman spoke up: “Sir, missiles are primed and GAU-9 autocannons are actively tracking.”\n\n“Thank you for the update, Marshall,” Ashton replied coldly, growing tired of her constant updates.\n\nThe ship screamed through space at a dizzying three gees, the superstructure quietly protesting the redlining acceleration. It can be clearly seen that portions of the deck were missing, hastily patched with solidifying foam. It seemed as though the ship could break apart at any moment.\n\nA full five minutes passed, nothing detected.\n\nThen, off of the port bow, a flash.\n\n“Sir?”, Barclay queried.\n\n“Bring us about, Jackson” Ashton ordered.\n\nThere was a tri-tone emanating from Barclay’s console.\n\n“Sir, they’re hailing us.”\n“On screen three, Ensign.”\n\nA beep was heard, and a bearded man was on the viewscreen, smiling devilishly.\n\n“Ah, the illustrious Drake Ashton. I was afraid one of my patrols had unfortunately dispatched you and your worthless ship. Fortunately for me, it seems I get to eliminate you and your worthless crew myself.” the bearded man cheerfully said.\n\n“It seems that I have quite the reputation”, Ashton remarked mockingly, “And who are you, I dare ask?”\n\n“I am Fleet Admiral James Forksmouth, your executioner.”\n\nAshton scoffed, “You? Hah!”\n\nThere was a shrill alarm going off, coming from Marshall’s console, “Sir! Multiple warheads have been launched from Forksmouth’s ship!” she exclaimed.\n\n“Evasive maneuvers! Shields at maximum forward gradient, take the safeties off the autocannons, and counterattack with torpedoes!” Ashton ordered immediately.\n\nForksmouth was laughing, “So tell me, friend, how is it going to end?”\n\nThe feed went to static. Autocannons roared to life, and the distinct thumping of torpedoes being loosed were deafening.\n\nAn explosion was felt throughout the ship, “Sir!”, Marshall exclaimed, “Forward shields at twenty-three percent, and massive forward bulkhead buckling! We are venting atmosphere!”\n\n“Depressurize decks nine through thirteen, I want a straight shot to the lifeboats!” Ashton ordered through sparking and thumping.\n\nThe ship was venting atmosphere throughout, and seemed that it couldn’t take another hit.\n\n“Sir”, Marshall calmly said, “Our torpedoes have scored a direct hit. She’s breaking apart.”\n\nAshton huffed, “Seems that the were too tired to party.”\n\nBarclay’s face drained of color, “Sir, I am picking up multiple dropout signals, looks like he was just a decoy. Orders?”\n\nAshton’s face hardened, “We run. Helm, take us into FTL. We can’t hang with this party.”\n\nBut it was too late, missiles and railgun rounds filled the space between the Hand of Fate, and the enemy. Railgun rounds missed wildly, as the Hand of Fate weaved through the onslaught.\n\n“Ten seconds to interdimensional destabilization.” The ship’s computer coldly announced. Seemingly unaware of the carnage just outside it’s hull.\n\nMissiles exploded before the wall of autocannon fire being pumped from the Hand of Fate.\n\n“Three, two, one. Engage.”\n\nNormal space melted away from the viewscreen, only to be replaced by distortions and feedback. Ashton sighed in relief and slouched in his chair. “That was a close one”, he said to nobody in particular.", "“So tell me friend, how’s it going to end?”\n\nI looked at the young man before me – truth be told, he could have been any age, but almost everyone chooses to revert to their youth after death- and waited for his response. He looked like any of the countless others before him; eyes grim, mouth set with determination. Once someone passes from life to death they are no longer scared of anything, it seems. Most people are able to understand where they are, and that everything they once had or did not have no longer matters in this place. \n\nI waited several moments longer for a response, any sign that his mind was decided. I stared closely at his eyes, usually the giveaway when a person is about to speak, but saw no movement. His lips did not part. He did not even appear to draw a breath during this entire period. After allowing what I thought to be a reasonable amount of time, I gently asked again\n“How’s it going to end?”\n\nThe man finally reacted, jerking his head up slightly and acting as though he’d forgotten I was there. Now his eyes narrowed and his eyebrows raised, thinking. It is always interesting, watching someone think through this question. I do not know if my travelers were wealthy or homeless in life, if they were doctors or dictators. It is all irrelevant, yet everyone seems to spend the same amount of time thinking of what they wanted most. \n\nThe man remained silent for a few moments longer, then finally drew a breath and said “I’d really love… to see Misty again.” There was a pause in the middle of the sentence while the man contemplated changing at the last second, but the end was spoken more confidently, with renewed determination. Every word was delivered slowly and carefully, as if the man knew he had only one chance and did not want to risk messing up a single syllable. He did not know that I was bound to follow the intent of the wish, not the letter, but regardless his last desire had been stated. With his last request stated, it was now my time to fulfill it. \n\nI raised one hand in the air, and bursting out of the ground came Misty. This was not a copy of Misty, one that could be seen through and would only serve to wrench the man’s heart out. No, this was the real Misty, except better; she had been brought to the man in all her beauty of youth and then some, as my powers in the afterlife could bring someone beyond their mortal beauty. It took Misty only a second to realize who she was with before she sprang at the man, running as fast as her legs could carry her and crying loudly, one could only assume through joy. She jumped into the man’s arms hard enough to knock him to the ground, stepped on him with all four paws, and buried her head into his chest, still crying. \n\nIf I had to pick the best final requests, those wishing to be reunited with their dogs would be among the top. \n\nI am, however, not simply a genie who will fulfill a wish. I am the shepherd to the afterlife, and it is my purpose to offer you one last taste of the best memories of life. \n\nWith another raise of my hand, half a dozen more dogs sprang from the earth. All creatures that had once belonged to the man, all in their healthy prime. Like Misty, they sprang to their feet and sprinted at the man who, already on the ground, was barely able to contain himself at the sight of them. He called them all by name, gazed lovingly at each creature, and cried continuously at the mere sight of these animals he held so dear. \n\nAfter what felt like an eternity, and very well could have been, the man knew there was more to come. He was standing now, all dogs sitting around him with their tails thumping happily, and in his eyes there was great joy, but an even greater sadness in knowing that this was not here to stay. He opened his mouth and spoke, again slowly and carefully, “What now?”\n\n“Now we walk, friend.”\n\nA path materialized before us. Not just any path, but one made from the tiles of the halls of the man’s high school he so dearly loved. Every so often the school’s mascot was visible in the tile, just as fresh as the day it was set. Along the way the man stopped to speak briefly to thousands of people- I did not know who they were, but one can only assume they were friends and family he had known throughout his entire life. Everyone doted upon the dogs, still loyally near their owner. There was not a sad face to be seen, and the man would burst into tears at each sight of a new face from his old life. \n\nAnd still we walked. \n\nAfter an immeasurable time, the people started to disappear behind us. There were fewer and fewer people ahead, and even the dogs had started to fall a few steps behind the man. The tiles we walked upon grew darker, dirtier, and the polished emblem became less frequent.\n\nAnd still we walked.\n\nThe atmosphere- I dare not call it a sky- had grown darker around us. The once raucous voices of the crowd had faded into a barely audible whisper in the background. Our footsteps soon overpowered any other sound, and the dogs had slowed to almost a crawl behind us. \n\nAnd still we walked. \n\nThe end was very near. The man could feel it, I certainly knew it, and everyone involved in this ceremony, this parade, could certainly feel that there was little left to complete. The end of our path showed up on the horizon, and we walked. It grew closer and closer, and although the man knew he did not want this walk to end, he knew he had nothing more left for him in the past. The end of the path was suddenly upon us now: one thousand steps away, five hundred steps away, fifty steps away. \n\nAnd still we walked. \n\nWe came upon the last piece of the path, one more step and it was over. The path simply vanished; there was no discernible difference between the world of the path and the world after it, but there was an ever-present feeling that there was no going back. Before he could take the last step, I whispered to the man, “Turn around.”\n\n The entire path leading up to this point had disappeared- we were standing on a square no larger than a rug. All the people had disappeared as well, leaving only silence in their wake. The dogs, who had slowly been falling further and further back on our journey, were now only indistinguishable specks on the horizon. All except Misty, who was right by her owner, loyal as always. \n\nThe man knelt down and embraced Misty, then held her face in his hands. He did not say a word, only gazed into her eyes, then nodded. He stood back up, turned around, and took a step off the path. Immediately he disappeared, as did Misty, the dogs in the distance, and the small amount of path I had been standing on. I do not know where people go after I shepherd them; that is not my purpose. I can only guide those who are on to something else. I paused for just a moment, letting the memories of that man’s life slip away from me, and raised my hand. Immediately a young woman appeared in front of me with the same grim, determined face. I took a step nearer to her, looked her in the eye, and gently said,\n\n“So tell me friend, how’s it going to end?”\n\n", "I rolled the cigarette in between my fingertips. I watched the ember on the tip glow. A long time ago I would have burned through these things, but this was my last one, so I would have to savor it.\n\nWhen I sucked in the tobacco, I could feel a wave of numbness wash over my frail body. My heart was pumping, and I could feel myself vibrating off the cold. I hadn't felt like that in a long time, not since the first time I placed a cig between my lips. I filled my lungs to the brim and held the smoke in my mouth for so long that tears came out of my eyes. I let out long line of white smoke into the cold air.\n\nMy balls were freezing. Everything was freezing. This was my last cigarette because there were no more cigarette's to be found. The tobacco made my blood pump because I lost all my muscle and my fat, and had become weak. \n\nThese things were suppose to kill ya, but the cold is what really got to us. Men got complacent. They didn't know how to live in a constant winter. We forced the world to adapt to us, and so it was forced to evolve. \n\nAll the lines were cast, all the deeds done. There was nothing left to do but smoke.\n\n\n" ]	3
Too NSFW to make it on air? Owner of the piece threw a temper tantrum? Appraiser mishandles the piece? Bring on your best horror stories, eye-rollers and ROFLs.	[WP] An Antiques Roadshow appraisal with a twist	[ " \"Hello, and thank you for bringing in this beautiful piece! Tell us a little about it, where you got it, what do you know about the artist?\"\n \n \"Hi, thank you! I'm so excited to be on the show! Well the truth is I got it from my uncle a few years ago, and other than the fact that he dumpster dived it from the factory where he does glassblowing, I don't really know anything about it. He said it might be worth something but he wasn't sure. I have no idea who the artist might be. We always said if the Roadshow came anywhere near Beacon, we would have to bring it, and here we are! Is it valuable?\"\n \n \"Well before we get into it's value, lets talk about the artist. A very exceptional artist sculptor by the name of, Isamu Noguchi. Isamu's mother was an Irish-American writer, and his father was a famous Japanese poet. He grew up here in New York City where he was a staple of the art scene and socialite circles in the 40s and 50s. One of his best known and earliest pieces is a marble bust of Ginger Rogers, who was his close friend. Later on he started doing work with Dick Polish, who founded a large foundry in Peekskill, and later in Beacon, NY. There, he made many notable works, which were enlarged, and cast in a variety of metals including bronze, copper, and stainless steel. The foundry employed the lost wax casting technique, and what we have here is the original medium Isamu chose to carve, which then became a twenty-three foot bronze exact replica, which now resides in Germany.\"\n \n \"Oh wow, that's so cool! So how much is it worth?\"\n \n \"Well before we talk about that, are you familiar with the Copeland / Graham ballet, Appalachian Spring?\"\n \"Umm..\"\n\n\"One of Aaron Copeland's most notable scores, also known as Fanfare for the Common Man. What is less well known, is that Isamu designed the set for the ballet, and during that time led a volatile relationship with Copeland's younger sister which resulted in a near murder, and the end of a budding and brilliant career. The young lady before you is this same woman over whom was much ado made. \n \"We know that this piece was cast in the Beacon foundry around 1987. Now after Polish left the Tallix foundry and started a new one on the other side of the river, the factory in Beacon sat empty until around 2007, when it was repurposed into the glass factory which resides there now. Given the popularity of Isamu Noguchi, and the very well established value of his work, we can say with some enthusiasm that this could command a significant value at auction. The fact that this is the original made by his own hands is something we don't get to see every day when we are talking about the work of sculptors. Given the story which I assure you is worth looking into closer detail, truly a delight for someone in my field to touch a relic of a story we share in art history circles with glee, and I have to add, for collectors as well, the value we are looking at is really quite impressive.\"\n \n \"Oh wow!! I can't even believe this! He got it out of a dumpster! There's no way he's getting it back now! This is fantastic! Thank you so much!\"\n \n \" After casting, it was protocol for the original to be destroyed so that no additional castings could be made by the foundry, so this is again - well hard to put a price on. However, it is my unfortunate obligation to make happen what Tallix apparently failed to...\"\n From under the podium appeared his hand, and in it a sledge, and in a first ever Antiques Roadshow moment, he smashed the nude in repose to dust.", "Antiques Roadshow, Lake Snaatchmahoochie, MI, May 2013\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"Hey Claire... anything interesting on this piece?\", Troy casually remarked as he walked past the cluttered table. Claire looked up from her laptop and stared at the piece.\n\n\"This is abso-fucking-lutely gonna blow up the Internet tomorrow\", she said, still staring at the piece.\n\n\"What...?!\", Troy stopped and turned around. \"Twenty minutes ago, this thing was in the reject heap and suddenly its the Navajo First Phase Blanket?\"\n\n\"This, my dear...\", Claire gestured at the piece and paused for dramatic effect as Troy rolled his eyes and braced himself. \"This is going to make Roadshow history, definitely the most significant piece we have or will ever see in our lifetimes\"\n\nTroy crossed his arms and let out an exasperated sigh. \"Claire, just give me the details without the theatrics. Please? I mean... There's no identifying marks, not even a clue as to what this thing is\".\n\n\"Until I found this\". Claire leaned forward and turned the piece upside down.\n\n\"See this mark? Looks like a gash or scratch, but it is the sixth letter of the Hindi alphabet, not the modern Devanagiri script, but the Transitional Brahmi style, which was mostly used in North and Western India in the 16th and 17th centuries. The material is cast bronze and _Misal_ wood. Its the mark of the Sambhal Foundry of Sattara, near present-day Bombay\".\n\nClaire continued. \"The Sambhals were master craftsmen and metalworkers, among the best in the world during their time and their pieces were highly desirable even back then. Notice these indentations and matte finish - that can only be achieved by machining the castings and this was their expertise and trade secret. Until, of course, the Industrial Revolution rendered it obsolete. _Misal_ wood, as we all know is native and exclusive to the Western Indian coast, or I should say _was_ since the British logged it to extinction in the late 19th century. The wood is very similar to teak, but has a much richer and deeper veneer and ages to a beautiful weathered patina\".\n\n\"Veneer and patina\". Troy remarked. \"I'm listening...\"\n\n\"Besides their machining skills, the Sambhal Foundry was known to do mixed media pieces, wood and metal in this case and they were very good at it\". Claire picked up a pencil and pointed. \"See the horn motifs on the sides? Those represent _Nandi_, the sacred Bull and the vehicle of _Shiva_, the Hindu god. The feet are shaped like the root flares of the _Misal_ tree, which had a unique geometric pattern. According to Hindu tradition and beliefs, the _Misal_ tree's root flares represent the feet of the Lord _Shiva_ as he descended from the heavenly mountains of Himalayas, took a mortal form in the Earth and defeated the evil forces in the War of the Seven Seas\".\n\n\"Nice. So... this piece is...?\". Troy was impatient.\n\n\"Ceremonial bowl that held the holy waters of the River Ganges. Used by the Royal Priests of the Maratha Kingdom for the coronation ceremony. Bronze represented strength, valor and courage and the _Misal_ wood stood for piety, humility and community. Only three were known to exist - one for each of the three Maratha Kings. One was lost to a fire in 1903, when the Governor General's office in Harare burned down. The other was destroyed when the German cruiser _Emden_ shelled the Madras coast in 1914. This is the last surviving Maratha Coronation Vessel and it looks pristine... like the King's coronation just happened yesterday\". Claire looked up at Troy with a smug look.\n\n\"And you figured all this out in twenty minutes?\", Troy asked.\n\n\"I didn't. I had a hunch about this based on pieces I'd seen through the years. I just emailed a picture to Rahul Bose at the Waltair Museum and he sent me back this\". Claire showed her phone as Troy bent down to see a picture of an old Mughal painting, depicting the coronation ceremony of an Indian King and the distinctive bowl in front of him, holding the crown immersed in the holy waters of the River Ganges.\n\n\"Daaaamnnn...! I'm impressed, Claire. What's the rough value on this?\"\n\n\"Well... The Marathas have always been held in high regard in Indian society due to their rich history, accomplishments and fierce resistance to the British occupation. Over the last 15-20 years, interest in Maratha artifacts have just exploded along with India's growing economy and influence. India's business tycoons have been engaged in an aggressive \"bring it home\" campaign for historic and symbolic pieces that were expropriated by the British and the Dutch. There is major bragging rights and political capital being earned from these achievements. While some are repatriated, most items in private hands have to be bought off auctions\". Claire removed her glasses and glanced up at Troy.\n\n\"A 12th Century bronze idol just went back home for 6.5 million. In the right setting and auction, this could easily top 10 million\".\n\nTroy's jaw dropped and his eyes widened. \"YOU'RE SHITTING ME...!\"\n\n\"Troy, listen to me and remember this moment. This is the story your grandkids will be be telling their grandkids. This is not the second coming of the Navajo Blanket. This is Blanket times ten. This is and will be _The Maratha Coronation Bowl_. This is the new standard and nothing else will come close to it ever again in the Roadshow, at least not in my lifetime\"\n\n\"OHMYGAWD! Claire, you better not be bullshitting me on this...\", Troy was sweating. \"Are you sure?\"\n\n\"Abso-fucking-lutely\", Claire replied with a stern, serious and sincere look on her face.\n\n&nbsp;\n***\n\"Dafuck you two screwing around for?! Where's the damn appraisal on that Ludmiller vase?!\", Matilde bellowed as she walked up to the table.\n\nClaire and Troy looked up in fear and reverence at the foul-mouthed matriarch. \"Matilde, you gotta see this. This could be even bigger than the Navajo Blanket\", Troy squealed in excitement and held up the piece.\n\nMatilde shot a menacing look at Claire and examined the piece for a few seconds. She removed her glasses and looked at Troy.\n\n\"Let me guess. 18th century ceremonial bowl from India. Last one in existence, others destroyed by fire, tsunami or whatever. Hmm...?\"\n\n\"Yes! Actually, 17th century. Maratha Coronation Bowl. Claire thinks it could do 10 million!\", Troy was excited.\n\nMatilde gritted her teeth and glared at Troy. She pulled out a billfold from her jeans, threw a twenty on the table in front of Claire and walked off grumbling curses under her breath.\n\nClaire tried to control her laughter as she pocketed the twenty. \"Aw c'mon Troy...! You gotta admit I had you there for a few. Don't look so butthurt, man. C'mon, lunch is on me. You choose...\"\n\nTroy was feeling let down. He turned to Claire and asked \"How many times have you pranked interns like this?\"\n\n\"Between Matilde and me, oh... maybe one or two a year over the last twenty years...? Usually, we swear the Intern to secrecy and carry on the charade for a long time. Couple years ago, I even handed a BB gun to an intern and asked her to stand guard next to a piece for two days. Matilde's been menopause cranky this year, so I try and keep it short\"\n\n\"Ha. Ha. Very funny, Claire\", Troy tried to sound annoyed, but couldn't hide his amusement at all this. \"What is this thing anyways?\"\n\n\"This is actually Thai. Late 19th century. Rubberwood, most likley from Narthawat province near the Malaysian border\", Claire said. \"Fiddy. Maybe 100 if you get a nice whale\".\n\n\"Oh... That certainly lines up with the owner's backstory. She said her grandfather was a British diplomat and advisor to the King of Siam during the late 1800's and it had been passed down through her mother. A gift from the King, perhaps...?\"\n\n\"Umm... No...?\", Claire looked worried. \"Crap! I didn't realize the history went back that far. Listen, make sure this doesn't get featured. You understand?\"\n\n\"Okay. But why? It's just a bowl...\", Troy was curious.\n\n\"No shit Einstein! Yes. It's just a bowl. But it is also a spittoon commonly used in the eunuch brothels of Khon Khaen. So I'd rather not make the vague insinuation on national TV that grandpa Sir Whatshisface, Baron of Bumfuckshire was boinking Thai ladyboys in the late Victorian era. Send it back. Quietly. _Capisce_?\"\n\n\"_Si Signora_\", Troy saluted and walked away.\n" ]	2
	[WP] Freedom of speech is gone, the government is corrupt, and everything you say and do is monitored by the government. One day each year, you can say anything you want, and you have a lot to say.	[ "Lana was a nice girl. She had arguments with no one, she was always prompt and fastidious at work, and she always smiled so broadly at morning worship as though she really did love the president. Dan had no idea, of course, that she had muttered words of governmental criticism in her breakfast nook nor had he any idea that the microphone in her TV transmitted her loose talk to the government and he never sat in on the meeting where her arrest was decided upon. He just watched from the doorway of his home as Lana was taken from her house and immediately decided it was safer not to think of her anymore. As she looked to him, forlornly, her eyes imploring him for help, he closed and locked the door and returned to his morning coffee.\n\nThe commute to work was quiet, as always. Dan sat in the center of the car's round couch as the vehicle silently drove him to the company. Sipping some coffee and reading the news on his Augmented Reality Display, Dan considered what he'd say on Free Speech Day. People say the gutsiest things, like, \"the president should die\" or \"the government is evil,\" and nothing would ever happen to them. Mostly, Dan mused, because it was considered an unspoken fact that these were really the opposite to what they really believed. Indeed, many of his friends always seemed proud of the most extreme things they could think to say because it showed how much they were making fun of exiles.\n\nExiles. His mind turned to Lana again. She'd lived next door to him for years, ever since he'd moved in. Now ...best not to think too much about it. Dan dispensed a small pill from the armrest of the couch and swallowed it with a gulp of coffee. The car slowed down and Dan, leaning over to look out of the wide window, noted the entrance to the car park. He gathered his things and waited for the vehicle to drop him off before refueling and storing itself for the next user.\n\nDan found it difficult to focus as he sat in his dreary cubicle. The corporation also provided pharmaceuticals to help employees manage difficult moods but he wasn't sure if his distracted feelings were from the stabilizer he took on the way in. He just couldn't get the image of mild mannered Lana struggling against the strength of two black-suited officers in the morning sunlight.\n\nHe was leafing through legal texts for samples to feed the law A.I. for analysis when he heard a muffled yell and what sounded like a shriek. He and everyone else in his row looked up to see the door at the far end of the room burst open and uniformed officers carrying a screaming secretary march through.\n\nNo one said a word. Most averted their eyes.\n\n\"I didn't DO anything! I swear I love the government! They're so generous, aren't they, everybody? Please?\" Through tears she begged anyone to respond, to even acknowledge her, but no one did. The officers each held an arm and walked with her lifted off the ground, both of them towering several feet taller than her. \"Please! I'm a good person! Someone, please...\" And with that, they stormed through the exit and were gone.\n\nNo one said a word.\n\nSilently, everyone returned to work -but everyone also took quick, furtive glances to see if anyone else was as frightened as they were -they just never acknowledged each others' gaze. Dan simply stared at the old books but he was thinking about anything but the law.\n\nHow many people would he see carted off to God knows where? TV says it's too good for them on the taxpayer's money -but people so cold and quick to hate could never be trusted to treat prisoners with decency. Certainly, no one ever saw them again, despite promises of rehabilitation and, of course, asking where they went or if they'll come back or even if they're safe is strictly forbidden unless you want to join them.\n\nSo no one says a word.\n\nHe opted for the pill. He had to get this off of his mind or he was going to get in trouble, if for nothing more than missing his deadline. The law clerk looked through the book carefully as he swallowed a focus enhancer and two calmness pills. He had to buckle down.\n\nHis eyes grazed a section written 20 years ago, when the president was first elected, that he had never seen before. Back when Free Speech day began, apparently a concession made to ensure passage of the law -any citizen may speak their mind fully with no penalty whatsoever -or they may ask any question they wish and a government would respond. He noted the specifics of the entry, focused intently on his work without a care in the world.\n\nThe hallway was crowded with people. Dan shuffled along in no particularly important spot, just making his orderly way with everyone else. You entered the chamber with no pecking order, managers walked in beside mail clerks, prefects walked in beside peasants -it was the order of the day. Any other day on the year and strict rules had to be observed on who entered a room before whom or who may be spoken to and whom not. Today, Free Speech Day, was a worldwide event with the entire planet participating. It was, of course, compulsory.\n\nSeated high in the risers above the stadium chamber, Dan sat and watched a woman use vulgarity, to the cheers of the crowd. They roared with laughter when an old man shouted, \"I pee in the closet!\" like he was at a confessional. One pudgy woman with greasy black hair screwed up her face and screamed, \"the president has been in power too long!\" and everyone howled and whooped. 20 years wasn't that long, right? After all, it was one of the first laws passed -it was perfectly legal. Everyone was having such a good time and on numerous gigantic screens around the dome Dan could see and hear the proceedings going on all over the world. Truly, everyone was having a ball.\n\nAnd then it was his turn.\n\nEscorted down the concrete steps by flashlight, Dan walked out onto the tremendous stage in the center of the stadium. He walked up to the lone microphone and felt absolutely tiny in the presence of his fellow man, of the United Earth, and cleared his throat. He lifted a single white page and read from it carefully.\n\n\"Pursuant to Title 34128923 of the United Earth Code, Subtitle 21549, chapter 226010, subchapter 215, subpart 2231 of section 122974- participants in the Free Speech Day ceremony may elect to ask a question which must be answered on-site by a government representative. I choose to ask a question. It is legal.\"\n\nThe word \"legal\" echoed as the chamber fell dead silent.\n\nIt was a long and uncomfortable moment before a voice boomed from the speaker system, \"It is legal. Ask.\"\n\nDan drew a deep breath.\n\n" ]	1
swear jar that needs money taken out of it	[WP] You buy a jar. Then you find out that everytime you swear, a dollar appears inside it.	[ "I sit in my room with the magical jar... Why wouldn't I just curse the night away?\n\n\"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck...\"\n\nI go on for hours until the dollars start overflowing out of the jar. \n\nWhat else would you do with a jar that gives you money for cursing. On and on and on and on.\n\nI am rich.", "It was a pretty normal day for me. I was running around my house trying not to be late. It helps that i know where everything in my apartment was. I had just enough time to grab my bag and my keys, maybe lock my front door if i remember it on the way out. Keys are one the table by the front door. I have to remember that. I check my pockets to make sure i have everything else i need; phone, wallet, and now the keys. A quick step out the front door rewards me with a little bit of pain in my toe as something rattles across the floor into the opposite wall. \n\n\n\"Fuck. What was that?\" I glance down and notice for the first time a jar. A jar with a dollar in it. The word swear is written on a white sheet of paper practical laminated onto the jar with packing tape. I dont really give it much extra thought as i turn to lock my front door. Must have been one of the neighbors that heard me getting made at one of my games last night.\n\"Fuck'em if they can't take a litle extra noise\" with the door fully locked i turn back around and give the jar a second look to see if the writing on the side matched one of my neighbor's writing. The writing is neat almost printed, though quite clearly written with maybe a sharpie or something. The writting almost matches the font of the two dollars that are in the jar. Weird it hasn't moved since i kicked it so a new prospective of the contents is a little too difficult to explain. I glance up and down the hall to see if anyone might be watching.\n\n\n\"This is fucking stupid. Why a swear jar and not a note to keep it down or something?\" I'm mostly mumbling to myself as i glance around. The jar is trash and should be thrown away. Im an asshole, but not a scumbag. I bend over and pick up the jar. With a little shake i notice my count must have been off. There are three bills. All ones. I counted them right the first time, im positive. I cram my hand in the jar and pull out the three bills and stuff them into my pocket.\n\"This is a stupid fucking prank, but at least i get a shitty soda out of it.\" I dont know why i keep mumbling to myself out loud. \"Dumbass assholes.\" I start walking the jar down stair to the trash can waiting on the first floor. I walk down the two flights of stairs, my morning rush kind of numbed thanks to the weird jar on my door step. I approach the trash can as i go to leave and i give the jar one last look as it starts to fly into the can. More dollars. The jar hits with a solid thump as i reach my hand into my pocket. Three dollars. I emptied the jar up stairs. It was empty last i looked. My morning plays in my head. It has to be a coincidence that the dollars are equal to how much i cursed this morning. I meant if you count dumbass. I pause for what felt like a moments. I think through everything. Theres only one way to figure this out i guess.\n\n\n\"Shit. Fuck. Fuck. Shit. Ass. Fuck. Fuck. Motherfuck. Cucksucker.\" I let a string of obscenities fly out of my mouth. Caution to the wind.\n\n\n\"Shit! Fuck! I forgot to count. Fuck I'm an idiot. Fuck! Start counting! Whats it been like 20?\" I take a deep breath to calm myself. And i finally peak into the trash can. Nestled snugly on top of crumpled papers and bags and someones old lo mein rests a jar with more than a hand full of bills in it. \n\n\nWith a quick look around i roll up one of my sleeves. \"This is fucking stupid, but there's no way im passing up a jar like this bullshit if I'm not fucking crazy right now. I should have bought wet naps or something because the dickhead who put that lo mein in there dirtied my fucking jar.\" A slow stream of curses leave my mouth as i reach for the jar. My fingers brush the edge of a paper filled jar. I can't help but smile for the first time this week", "I found this cool jar the other day. For some reason every time I said a curse word, a dollar of the current location was materialized. I couldn't understand why all of a sudden, these strange uniformed men came along and [REDACTED]\n\n[REDACTED] ----------\n\n-----\n\nI woke up in [REDACTED]. Fucking [REDACTED]\n\n\n ", "My dirty mouth had always been something I needed to work on. For what felt like the first time since I was old enough to curse I had actually gone a few days without swearing once. For something so small, I was actually pretty proud of myself.\n\nThen, one morning after an entire swear-free week, this plain jar ended up on my desk one day. I asked around, it didn't seem to belong to anyone and no one else knew how it got there. \"Well, fuck\" I muttered to myself, only to then see a dollar bill materialize in the jar in front of me. The first time I swore in over a week, and now I'm getting rewarded for it? I always thought whatever being runs this show had to have himself a sense of humor.\n\nThis jar was magical, and I had no idea what the hell to do with it. I checked it countless times in the next few days to make sure I hadn't lost my damn mind. Stubbed my toe? Dollar in the jar. Burned myself at work? Dollar in the jar. Idiot ran me off the road? A fresh tenner in the jar. I had to use this gift, but I had no idea how. In the face of this dilemma I did what I always did when my mind hit such a blank, I started writing.\n\nAfter a few feverish days, I had a damn notebook full of ideas. Pages and pages of filthy song lyrics and scripts that would make Tarantino blush, anything that could get me swearing into a microphpone or camera. I don't know if that jar had anything to do with it, hell I don't particularly care, but that shit was good too. Before I knew it I was fucking rolling in it, enough money to quit school and do this full time. Before long, I made it here.\n\nAnd that's the origin story behind Swear Jar Entertainment. Unless you have a reason to keep wasting my time, get the fuck out of my office." ]	4
	[WP] You find a homeless man in a back alley. As you approach him they make eye contact with you and ask if you want to know your future...	[ "\"Would you like to know your future?\" The man had a scraggly beard, an oversized hat, a coat with too many pockets, and two different shoes. He looked to be in his sixties, slightly hunched over with age.\n\n\"And how much do you want for that?\" I wasn't amused. Homeless people could scam you. My cousin was a scammer that sat on the street in ragged clothes and asked for change. I wasn't going to buy into that game.\n\n\"I'll tell you for free!\"His eyes grew wide. His left was starting to show signs of cataracts.\n\n\"Listen, buddy, I don't have time for your shenanigans. If you really want to tell me my future, make it quick, because I'm on my way to my job interview.\"\n\n\"Your job interview? And you're coming through here?\" He smirked as if he knew something. \"I'll tell you your future real quick: I'm you.\"\n\n\"You can't be me, I see streaks of brown in your hair. We both know mine's jet black.\"\n\n\"It's dirt. I can't believe you can't see the resemblance. Let me ask you, what is your dream car?\" The man smiled. A Porsche, right? Azure blue with a red interior and pinstripes?' He knew. \"I may not look like much, but I can tell you, don't go to your job interview.\"\n\n\"Why not? It's my last chance to get a job. My wife and I just moved into a new house and-\"\n\n\"You're having a baby. You fail the interview and resort to selling drugs. Julie finds you out, and dumps you, taking the baby with her. With no money and no dignity, you end up on the streets and become me. Then, one day, you spot a time machine. You go back in time, through the alley to tell yourself not to take the interview.\"\n\n\"But the interview is my last chance to get some more money! The baby's coming in September, and-\"\n\n\"Julie's going on maternity leave from her teaching job. But she doesn't have to. There is such thing as paternity leave, you know.\"\n\n\"I know, but seriously, what kind of man risks his dignity to stay home with a baby?\"\n\n\"A man who wants a promising future.\"\n\n\"I'll do it.\" The man smiled and disappeared. I was going to make my future better.\n\nA few months later while I was at home with the baby, I had an idea to invent a time machine. It was brilliant! I could have become a millionaire, but I knew what I had to do. I told Julie we were going on a vacation. We went to the future about twenty years. Our future selves welcomed us into their home. I told my future self to dress up like a homeless man(even though I didn't like the ploy) and to go back to the day of the job interview and tell me not to go to the interview. He agreed, so Julie and I went back to the present in our time machine disguised as a Porsche.\n**\nThis was a very fun prompt to write. Thanks OP!\n\nIf commenters are confused by time travel bit* The reason why he told his future self to disguise as a homeless man is because it happened in his life he was having the best days in his life.\n\n\n", "\"My future?\" I asked, startled. I was suddenly very aware that I was alone with a very homeless person in a very abandoned alley, and I started to back away...\n\n\"Can't run from your future,\" the homeless man said, \"but you're welcome to try. Tell Mel I said hi.\"\n\nI stopped. \"How do you know about my girlfriend?\"\n\nThe man laughed, deeply and bitterly. \"I know about far more than that. And you won't know her for too long, believe you me.\"\n\nA deep sense of intrigue came over me. \"What do you mean?\"\n\n\"There's far worse to come.\" The homeless man said, lolling his head against his ramshackle house and taking a swig of liquor. He brandished the bottle. \"You want some?\"\n\nI declined, brushing the bottle away. \"I don't know who you are, or what you want from me, but I'm leaving.\"\n\n\"That's always been your problem,\" the homeless man said, taking another swig, \"problems in general. You just run from them.\"\n\nI was getting annoyed. \"You don't even know me.\"\n\nThe homeless man stared at him with sudden, startling clarity. \"I am you.\"\n\nMy eyes widened, too shocked to speak. Suddenly it all made sense.\n\n\"Just... just be a better man, ok? Just be a better man to her. She deserves it.\"\n\nI nodded with conviction. He was right. \n\nI would be.\n\n****\n\nThe homeless man smiled, and blinked. His younger self was gone. It was suddenly so cold again, so very cold. He tried to have another swig of his bottle, but found it empty. \n\n\"He's going to be a better man to you, Mel.\" He said, pulling a ragged blanket over his battered body. \"Just like you deserved.\"" ]	2
	[WP] Shuffle your music and write a story with the beginning line being the first song title and the last line being the second shuffled song.	[ "The Game was the most wanted one, definitely. Sadly enough, it came out in the summer I wanted to work at GamerStop to get some money, as I soon finished school and needed a leg to stand on.\n\nAs the day came the game was released, everyone at the store took precaution to either be sick, or terribly, terribly busy. And like this, I was the poor one standing behind the counter where hundreds of people where waiting, ready to throw their money at me. Shoving and pushing was relatively normal when a big new game came out, but these circumstances were unknown to me. Gamers who came to late, and by that I mean not camping in front of the store, decided to simply take a ladder to crawl over the raving masses to the shelves. The lucky ones already having a copy in their hands were pressed against the counter until they could hardly breathe anymore.\n\nMe being nothing more than a naive halftime worker, I completely forgot that it would be a good idea to get security to come the store as fast as possible to prevent any major injuries. But even that wouldn't have helped the few poor ones already being squished by walking bags of Doritos and Mountain Dew.\n\nI tried my best, I swear, but what could I have done? The servers of Stream where down and nobody could purchase the game online, and only the few lucky ones who logged in first would get that sweet mount. So naturally, everyone stormed into GamerStops anywhere, and mine had to be located in the middle of the city, the achorpoint for every shopper.\n\nAnd just like this, I experienced what never has happend before. People being stepped on, pushed to the ground, tackled aside, suffocated between rolls of fat. And I'm sure that there were some people standing outside the store with knives to rob the unlucky ones.\nIt was, indeed, a Great Mass Of Death.\n\n-----\n\nI am not natively english, therefore, please excuse me for mistakes and weird sentences.\n\nSongs:\n\"The Game\" by Dragonforce, and\n\"Great Mass Of Death\" by Septicflesh.\n", "Addicted.\n\nHe hated referring to himself as that. However he also liked to tell himself that he could stop at any time, he just chose not to. He obviously did it because he liked the way it made him feel, not because he couldn’t live without it. That’s what he kept telling himself every morning when he woke up groggy and feeling like shit, even though he had the recommended 8 hours of “sleep”. He never felt good waking up. The haziness in his mind that should’ve receded as the day went on and he pounded back energy drinks instead stayed as a constant buzzing in his subconscious, whittling away at his self-control.\n\nLosing both his fulltime position at a prestigious accounting firm, and his mother to cancer in the past 6 months had him hitting his dealer up more often. Way more often then the once a week “maintenance” visits that he had been able to function with before.\n\nHe thought of Marissa, the only drug stronger than heroin. Lately she had begun to grow tired of coming home late at night from work to find him passed out on the recliner in his boxers; incoherent even when roused and hands floating as though he were trying to climb an imaginary ladder. Listening to her describe him in his drugged out state broke his heart, but she just didn’t understand. These pleas from her to get clean and reclaim control of his spiraling life caused fights. They never fought physically but he had still felt the equivalent punch in his gut every time he made her cry.\n\nAfter a few moments of struggling to get vertical, he hunched over on the couch, head heavy and hung low, pointy elbows digging into his thighs. His body throbbed, a deep-seated ache that was impossible to massage or stretch out. Trying to mentally block out the physical pain so he could lift himself off the couch, he had a moment of lucidity.\n\nOut of the corner of his eye he saw the framed picture of the two of them. Marissa must have moved it from the bedroom to the radiator next to the couch at some point during the night. Raising his head slightly to study the photo, he took note of how happy and healthy he had looked back when the photo had been taken a year ago. Marissa was beaming as she held onto his neck for dear life, his bulging forearm muscles rippling as he held her in his arms. She loved being carried and he had loved showing off. They hadn’t had much physical contact in the past few months, and looking down at his gaunt frame and tense, veiny body he could understand why. Seeing a leftover baggy of junk on the coffee table in his peripheral vision burned him with a rage he had not felt for awhile. He angrily swiped the baggie off the glass table where it skittered under the radiator and disappeared. He then slammed his fist down in frustration on the wood-covered edge, his sweaty palm leaving a blurry smudge on the surface.\n\nTrying to control his breathing and quell his shaking body, he picked up the phone and called his old buddy; a person who told him he would always be there when he wanted to get clean. As the phone rang once, twice, three times, he thought to himself as he looked at the framed picture of them on the radiator; him carrying her in his arms, smiling and carefree “I would do anything For Your Love”.\n\nSongs:\n\nJarell Perry - Addicted\n\nJosh Record - For Your Love (Dot Major Remix)\n", "Voodoo.\n\nAs a student of theology, I knew that I would some day have to study this religion firsthand. It's not that I never wanted to, just that the faith irked me in some fashion. I'm not even a superstitious individual, yet I still thought the practices and style of worship to be eerie.\n\nRegardless, my mission was to study all the faiths I could and compile all of my encounters into a novel. A definitive guide to world religions, of sorts, with interesting anecdotes to liven the reading up a bit. So far, I had recorded my interactions and interviews with archbishops of Catholicism in Europe, various priests of the plentiful variations of Christianity in the southern United States, rabbis in Israel, imans of Islam throughout the Middle East, Buddhists around Southeast Asia, et cetera, et cetera. I had tackled all the major faiths, and some of the less prominent of the major faiths, and now it was on to Voodoo.\n\nAs with all my studies, I would do my best to speak with people of varying perspectives within a religion. I began in New Orleans, as I had become familiar with the area thanks to my travels in which I learned about Baptism and other branches of Christianity. I spoke with a man who refered to himself as a Voodoo priest. He was an old Creole man who was very kind, which was much to my relief, and because of him, many of my prior assumptions of Voodoo --which often stemmed from mass hysteria and biased media such as the recent film White Zombie-- had been corrected. \n\nHe informed me that some Christian teachings had blended with the Voodoo of New Orleans, such as the invocations of Jesus and Jehovah. I had also learned of Voodoo herbalism, and the creation of Hoodoo Dolls, which were used as cure-alls. After spending a few days in New Orleans and speaking with the priest, I figured that I had compiled enough information on the New Orleans sect of Voodoo, so I journeyed southwards, to the Carribean. Before I had left, the old priest firmly instructed me to never interact with Bokors, or Witch Doctors. He told me that in some islands, they had practiced unspeakably horrific magic. Looking back, I should have given him the benefit of the doubt, for I took his words as the rambling of a fanatic.\n\nI have no good memories to recount of that jungle island to the southwest of Haiti. It rained to such an extent that whenever I attempted to write in my journal, the pages would promptly be soaked by the water pouring through the poorly constructed roof of the hovel I had been provided. After a certain point, I decided to simply do my recording by memory, and because of this decision, I can not recall much from the hazy period of time that was my stay on the island.\n\nI had asked around the small village I had been staying in about any practicioners of Voodoo. To my surprise, they revealed themselves to all be Christian. They had, however, informed me of a \"Voodoo Cult\", as they called it, residing in the nearby rainforest. I was hesitant, but decided to enter the rainforest bordering the village. \n\nWith me, I had taken the necessary materials for such a venture. A lantern, machete, several small arms, a swiss army knife, and some canteens of water. I had not taken my journal, as I could not write in the never-ending storm.\n\nEventually, I had reached a point where I could no longer see the village from whence I came. This left me slightly disheartened, but I carried on. It was day time, but the trees had blocked out the vast majority of sunlight, causing me to ponder how the strange and unfamiliar flora on the forest floor had flourished to such an extent. Finally, I had heard what I previously learned to be a focal point in the Voodoo faith: singing. \n\nBut this was no ordinary singing. This was not the spiritual and somewhat beautiful music of Louisiana. This singing didn't seem to follow any form of music I had heard prior. I had heard in New Orleans that new songs in Voodoo could only be created when it came about from a trance, or, more commonly, when it was heard in a dream. Whoever heard this song heard it in a night terror. This singing sent chills down my spine, as some of the voices didn't sound right. They didn't sound human.\n\nThis was the point where my memory seems to fail me. I found myself walking towards the strange song, against my reason and will. My vision began to fail me to some extent as well. How I wish my hearing had began to cease as well. The music grew even more hectic and unholy as I had approached what seemed to be a clearing. The singers with the normal voices, normal being a relative term here, were tribal people dancing around a thing that defied reason. It was a shining white obelisk, half the height of the tallest trees, with strange engravings etched all across its surface.\n\nThe brightness should have comforted me in the dark of the rainforest, but it had done the opposite. It was unnatural and not of this earth. The engravings had been written in an alphabet that I had encountered nowhere else. Upon asking about it later while in Haiti, not a soul could place what I was talking about. But these markings were just as otherworldly and horrifying as the terrible song and the monument they had been engraved on.\n\nI managed to break my trance-like transfiction on the obelisk for a moment, and I will forever be grateful that I did at that moment. To my right, a Bokor who fit the descriptions the priest in New Orleans had told me, was dancing towards me with what I can only assume to be a sacrificial blade. I regained control of my feet and began sprinting as fast and far away as I could. As I was running, I could not help but to look back to see if pursuers were after me. They were not. But what I saw was much more disturbing than anything I could have comprehended seeing.\n\nAll the normal sounding singers had stopped singing. The ones with human voices. But that other singing had not ceased. It continued to eminate from what must have been the obelisk. The singers and the Bokor were kneeling around the obelisk, mumbling pathetically. The obelisk shook. The ground shook. It all shook in time with the song. I saw the obelisk rise up a few feet, with a disgusting and nightmarish being of eldritch quality below it, breaking out from the ground.\n\nIt did not have any eyes. But I'm certain that it saw me. And it did not have any ears, but I'm sure that it heard me trembling.\n\nI looked away and I found myself shaking in fear, lying in my hovel at the village. I had left that village and island immediately, and I would never return to study Voodoo, out of fear whatever that hellish cult was. Out of fear of that white obelisk. Fear for the beast.\n\nAll I wish for now is to have the haunting memory erased from my mind. Blotted out from my subconscious. To have the white obelisk concealed forever. To paint it black.\n\nPaint it Black." ]	3
	[WP] Children are completely immortal until they hit puberty.	[ "I envy other fathers. I truly do, they watch their children grow, smelling their sons heads when they're born, playing games and teaching them to avoid trouble from their mothers. none of them dealt with the sadness of a child dying, or being worried about whether they would be able to watch the light of their lives grow up. Children are bulletproof, they are unkillable, beautiful and young and fearless. No one knows why, everyone remembers the fearlessness of youth. Up until the boys voices begin to drop, and the girls begin to distance themselves from their mothers they cannot be killed, hardly able even to hurt themselves, but it was rare for a serious injury to happen and it was never permanent. Maybe an angel watches children, I honestly don't know.\n\nThe problem with being essentially immortal and impervious to danger is that no one knows when it ends exactly. Sure puberty is usually the cut-off, but that strikes at a different time for each and every child. The immortality brings a sort of arrogance with it, it never quite leaves. I remember when I was perhaps 8 years old, playing with friends as children do in the canyon just outside town. A small stream runs through the bottom of the canyon, though the dirt walls rose well above where the water reached, my father told me that when he was a boy the walls were not near that steep, I don't know what to make of that. I was with two boys, one my younger brother Darryl, the other Thom, a year or two older than me. We made a game of leaping from the old dead sycamore trunk that jutted about a meter out from the top of one of the banks, into the stream below. Sure it may seem dangerous to an adult but to us children, it was exhilarating. To leap from that height laughing at death and landing gracelessly in the cool water, solid on our feet in the river soil, rocks brushing off the skin beneath our feet. \n\nGreat sport back in that day. A few weeks later Thom landed the same as he always had, feet first, only this time his legs broke through his kneecaps and on through his chest. He was only around 10 then, no one had thought he was old enough, but apparently that was his time to go. These are old memories now, I had learned from Thom's accident and lost all of my youthful pride and arrogance a few moments after he had landed a few feet away from me.\n\nI turned my gaze from reverie to my son who lay on a bed at the far end of the small room. His fourth birthday had passed last week without party or his seeming to notice, though i had gotten us both party hats and given him some cake, he was only able to eat a mouthful or two but he had smiled, rare for him. I can't blame him, I'd blame me. I do blame me, or god or the devil or anyone. Late afternoon sunlight filtered through the blinds, shining lazily on my poor son. His form twisted and bent, his breath agony, his heart constantly failing. His mother had died in childbirth leaving behind my beautiful boy. Whatever angel watched over children apparently did not take notice of them until they saw light for the first. My son would be in agony until puberty when death finally took him, it would be a blessing to him. I don't know why he hadn't healed, most injuries did, I suppose those had to be after birth as well. My eyes misted. I love my son but this immortality was too cruel. I hope he does not have to suffer long." ]	1
I'm imagining an MMO for this scenario as making the most sense, but go wild where your imagination takes you.	[WP] A man stalks a woman's character in an online game. One day, it seems someone entirely different replaces her - and nobody but him seems to notice.	[ "Eric arrived home from work and threw his bag on the couch. He grabbed a slice of pizza from the box he haphazardly threw into the fridge the night before and threw himself into his desk chair, the single nearby lamp illuminating his efficiency apartment against the storm that was growing outside. With a few key clicks he was logged into the MMO he was currently obsessed with, reviewing his main character he began to do his daily tasks that kept him at the top of his game. If he was truly being honest, however, he knew it wasn't the game that he was obsessed with. \n\nHe checked his friends list and scrolled until he found the name, a feeling of relief washed over him as his mouse hovered over \"SchrodsCat\". He double clicked and sent off a welcoming message to Caitlyn, a girl he had met on the game and had slowly gained her friendship. It had taken a few tries of course, he had a few accounts he couldn't go back to because he had messed up with her on them, but she didn't know that, no reason for her to learn about that.\n\nIt took a few minutes but he finally got a response back, \"Hey!!! Long day at work?\" He began to write his response, planning to tell her about the job she thought he had working as a software developer (in reality he was a supervisor in a call center) when something stopped him. It took him a minute to realize what it was but he finally caught it, Cait never used three exclamation points, she thought it made her sound too eager. He pressed on, maybe she was finally going to open up to him, he had been nothing but nice and supportive to her since they had met, well this incarnation of him at least.\n\n\"Yeah, there were a few people that committed incomplete code and it caused a lot of bugs, we had to undo each piece one by one and see where the incompatibilities were. How was your shift at Starbucks this morning?\" Caitlyn worked at her local Starbucks as a manager, which meant she did a little bit of everything that her employees did as well as keeping inventory and counting out their drawers. \n\n\"Awesome!!! A new company moved into the office building a few blocks down so we had a lot of new customers this morning, our tips went through the roof.\" There it was again, something was definitely different. He scrolled through his friends list and found another player who they grouped with often. Clicking on \"MaxMadwell\" he opened a new chat window, \"Hey Max, has Cat been acting weird today?\"\n\n\"Not that I've noticed Red, why what's up?\" Eric's current character, TedTheRed, had been shortened to Red by his usual dungeon group. \"Not sure, just thought she sounded a little odd, nothing to worry about I guess.\" \n\nThe evening continued as usual, he, Max, and Cat ran multiple dungeons together and improved their characters like they always did. As the hour got late Max logged off and it was just he and Cat again talking in their party chat. He still felt like something was odd, her rotations were just slightly off timing and she made a small mistake that she hadn't made in months. Max didn't seem to notice anything was amiss and logged off before Eric could bring it up with him again.\n\n\"Hey Cat, can you hop onto Discord for a second? I want to discuss our strategies for tomorrow night.\" They had done this hundreds of time at this point, there was nothing weird about the request but her reply was far from usual, \"I'm actually pretty tired Red, can we pick it up tomorrow? I'm worried we're going to be slammed tomorrow morning at 'Bucks.\" That sold it for him, she'd never refer to her job as \"'Bucks\" - one time one of her employees did it and she spent 15 minutes ranting to him about it.\n\n\"Oh okay, good night.\" He said, before emoting a wave and logging off of the server. He pulled open his desk drawer and found the post-it note he had scrawled a phone number on. She had given it to him about a month ago, told him to call her if he was going to be late one night. It was innocent, everyone who made friends online did the same thing, she had his and they both had Max's.\n\nPulling out his cellphone he told himself that she was going to answer and everything was going to be fine. He typed the number into his phone and hit call, the ringing sound slowly calming his nerves as he waited for her soft voice to answer the phone.\n\nAfter ten rings there was a click and then a gruff, deep, definitely male voice said, \"Hello?\" " ]	1
	[WP] Extremely dissatisfied with their presidential choices and feeling that their vote won’t matter anyway, every American decides not to vote, except you	[ "I glance around at the polling centre -- it was completely empty except for the staffers who I presume, had already voted. Why wouldn't they? They were already here! I had heard that turnout was going to be astonishingly low because nobody liked any of the candidates, but this was pretty absurd! I didn't really want to vote either, both candidates were pretty shit and when there are another 300 million people who can all vote for one or the other...well...why bother? \n\nI looked at the two names on the sheet. One who had clearly won their nomination for their party, and one who had clearly won their nomination for their party...both extremely untrustworthy with horrendous polling across most demographics. Neither someone I wanted to be running the country. Ah well, I guess there is a third option. Heh. I couldn't help but grin as I scribbled down my choice.\n\nWhen I had gotten home after the polls closed, all the news stories were about the complete and utter lack of voters whatsoever. As electorate after electorate reported in with 0 votes, I started getting a sinking feeling in my stomach. I couldn't watch this. I went to bed early that night. The next morning, I checked my phone immediately when I woke up and...oh no. \n\nMaybe voting for Kanye West via write-in wasn't the best idea after all.", "My hands sweat and the pen in my hand nearly slips a couple of times. It all depends on me, the country's fate is in my hands. But I really don't want that responsibility.\n\nI don't even know about the candidates, I can't just judge this on names can I?\n\nSince I'm the only voter all I have to do is tick a box and drop it into a box. It's not that hard but I can't bring myself to do it.\n\nI have an idea, I'll close my eyes and then just tick randomly. That way fate gets to decide. Yeah, I'll do that.\n\nHere goes nothing.\n\nI drop the paper into the box beside me and then open my eyes.\n\nI come out of the room and see the faces of thousands staring back at me.\n\nA suited man walks out and opens the box, he pulls out the paper.\n\n\"The next President of the United States is, hang on... This paper... It's void\"" ]	2
	[WP] A small meteor crashes into Earth and is now ahead in the US Presidential polls	[ "The platform on the stage was beginning to smoulder and Brad Teethington, the moderator for the night began to sweat, both from the nerves of hosting the first of these presidential debates and also from the immense heat the gigantic rock on stage was giving off. He waved across to the producer who nodded, feeling it too and began to speak quietly into his headset. A moment later he looked back and gave the thumbs up, they had permission to start early. \n\nThe other two candidates were hurried onto stage, Hilary still smoothing down her plain pantsuit and Donald smiling, unaware that his toupee was sitting at an unlikely angle. An aide darted onto stage to try to fix it, but it was no use, the camera light went green, the music began and the show began. \n\nBrad smiled, trying to ignore the river of sweat running down his back as he did his introduction. “Welcome American to the first in this series of three debates between the three Presidential candidates. One of the individuals on stage will be your next President of the United States of America.” \n\nThe crowd went wild and Brad paused, before continuing as quickly as he could. The drapes above the stage had now began to burn with a low flame and grips could be seen climbing the scaffold with fire extinguishers in hand. \n\nBrand continued. “Two of the candidates are of course known to America, Hilary Clinton, the Democratic nominee and Donald Trump, the Republican nominee, but they are joined by a third who has been catapulted into this race by vast and overwhelming public support. Please welcome Donald Trump, Hilary Clinton and the red hot meteorite from outer space!” \n\nOn stage Donald and Hilary waved, a little uncertain now. Hilary’s makeup was sliding down her face, leaving her with a grim smile that was starting to scare the smaller children in the room and Donald’s hair was now blazing merrily, although he seemed not to notice. The gigantic rock did nothing but sit and generate heat. \n\nBrand took a sip of water, finishing the whole glass in one and signalling for more. “First question, why are you more fit to lead this country than the other candidates? Donald, if you would.” \n\nDonald Trump smiled an easy smile. Until the late 3rd party entrant he had been leading the polls and this was his chance to regain momentum. “Brad, I think it’s simple. Hilary is crooked and we simply cannot trust her and this gigantic rock wasn’t even born in America. Unless they can produce a birth certificate then my lawyers are working to have them removed from the running, so I am not at all concerned with either of them.” \n\nBrad nodded. “And you, Hilary?” \n\nHilary shook her head. “The same old attacks from Donald. I am the only candidate that has the experience needed to run this country. The other two are simply outsiders and while I can see the attraction, at this point in America’s history we need someone who can lead us to better times and these two will offer nothing but incompetence and lack of leadership.” \n\nBrad turned to the last candidate. “And you, gigantic rock, why are yu more fit to lead?” \n\nFor a moment there was perfect silence as the whole country waited for the rock to do something. Thirty seconds passed and then a minute and murmurings began in the crowd that were swiftly shushed. Then, just as Brad was about to call time, there was a noise. It was a soft groaning, which grew into a screeching until suddenly the support structure above the stage collapsed as the metal, warped beyond its ability to withstand the head, collapsed, crushing the candidates on state. \n\nAs the dust settled a new silence began, not shocked, but something else, a quiet awe. Towards the back someone began clapping and in a moment the whole crowd was on their feet, whooping and cheering. Even Brad, forbidden by his job to take sides and aware it might cost him his career, stood and clapped with the rest. \n\nA new day had begun, one where politics would be ruled by common sense and giant hot meteorite was the one to lead America into this bold new future. \n" ]	1
	[WP] An astronaut in the ISS realizes they are probably the last human alive	[ " It turns out T. S. Elliot was wrong, the world did end with a bang. I know because I watched it unfold from 250 miles away. I've been watching it unfold for months though I never thought it would actually happen. Some pompous diplomat or careless official decided to press the big red button and now everything is fucked. Some twisted side of me almost wished this would happen; between the disease and the crime and all the other side effects of the human condition something needed to happen. But now that it is here, now that this has actually happened...oh fuck! And I just watched, like a fly on the wall and a sick thought in the back of my head almost wishing this would happen. But none of that matters now--nothing fucking matters. Everyone and everything is dead (bye bye birdie hahaha) and I'm floating around this now desolate rock like I'm on some goddamn merry-go-round. I can almost hear the carnival music (Step right up, step right up! Come see the Earth commit suicide by use of nuclear weapons! Why, it'll only cost you a few moments of your time and soul crushing isolation until your dying breath!). Oh shit, that never even occurred to me: I'm all alone. This was just supposed to be repair mission, so there aren't even other crew members aboard. Fuck! (Ohh what's the matter young man, the carnival food not agreeing with you?! You look a little green around the gills! Perhaps it's the spinning from the Merry-Go-Round! All you have to do is...) I need to keep focus, otherwise I'll snap (...just get off the ride! You'll feel much better, I swear!). And if I don't get a grip I'll use more oxygen than I can afford. (Looks like you could use some fresh air, kiddo!). Right! How could I not think of that?! I won't use up all the oxygen if I just (You'll feel much better, I swear!) open the hatch (You'll feel much better...) ", "November 10 2098\n\nIt was about one week ago I left for the first solo ISS mission. There is no one else here. The first few days went smoothly and according to plan. But on the fifth day, all communication to mission control was lost. And there was no lights from cities. I knew, for a fact, that I am the last human. What happened, I don't know.\n\nNovember 11\n\nAfter countless attempts at reaching someone, the Americans, the Russians, the British, the Chinese, all attempts have been fruitless. I have never felt so alone. The realization slowly came to me. I am the last human being. Why do I continue? There is no reason for me to exist anymore. \n\nNovember 12\n\nI have not slept in the past three days. Maybe I'm not the last person on earth. There must be someone out there. Someone. I try the radios a bit more. No one. Maybe all the powerplants failed. That's it. \n\nNovember 13\n\nI have realized the folly of my ways yesterday. The lack of sleep has made my mind cloudy. I am the last man in existence. I went into the airlock, said my final prayers, and made note of these last moments of humanity, hoping that some alien race will find this journal and be able to read it. Goodbye.", "\"Hello? Houston? Anybody there?\"\nI had tried for the 50th time today. I thought it was a malfunction though, so I went to the captain's room. He wasn't there. I spent 4 and a half hours searching through the entire ship. Nobody was here. Not even in the storage rooms. It just didn't make any sense. They were here yesterday, so why were they just gone? And why was the radio not even working?\n\nI took a long, hard look out of the earth facing window. Nothing strange back on earth. I could still see most of earth's landmasses. Water looked okay, but that was when something caught my eye. As we rotated eastward, a large, sword(?) looking thing appeared to be hovering a couple miles above the atlantic ocean. It was just big enough for me to pinpoint, about the size of my fingertip. Then, I noticed about 9 others, positioned around the globe. How could I have not noticed it?\n\nThey appeared to be pulsing blue, sending out waves every 4 or 5 seconds. Perhaps those are what killed off (hopefully not) everybody on Earth. But why was I the only one left on the ISS? That's when I remembered. I had been in a fight with another crew member for accidentally bumping into some valuable equipment, and possibly breaking it. I floated off towards my bunk, hoping to get some shuteye, maybe apologize in the morning. Guess that wouldn't happen now. I had heard some commotion, but assumed it was nothing. That may have been the astronauts leaving in the escape capsules. \n\nThe world was nothing now. I was probably the last human alive. Somebody would have contacted me via open radio. Nobody had contacted me as of yet. Wait. I just thought of something brilliant. There was one evacuation capsule left on board. I had been taught how to man an escape capsule by myself, all I needed was to grap a suit, get on board, and head off. \n\nI did those, but one thing turned up. How could I be so stupid? Last night, I had bumped into the equipment powering the escape pods. It was broken. There's no way to fix it, because we need an engineer, and both engineers had escaped without me. \n\nThat was it. I was going to die alone, onboard the International Space Station.", "\"Incoming videochat.....\" \n\nHopefully it was Houston to tell me what was actually happened yesterday. I floated towards the command module at the front of the station, catching a quick glimpse of our blue planet. So majestic it looked floating in the light of the sun. That was when it truly dawned on me that I was the only person not to be currently sat on the giant rock below me. A wave of loneliness then flowed through my body like nothing I had felt before. I didn't even feel this lonely when both my parents had died when I was only 10. I could feel the a tear bubble building in my duct. I wiped it away with the sleeve of my standard issue blue jumpsuit that all NASA astronauts are given. I've got to pull together I told myself, I'm the most experienced astronaut they had, it'll just be an extra few days onto my already record breaking time in space. I had personally led the past two missions on the ISS. I carried on floating down my temporary prison towards the command module.\n\n\"So Commander Jack can you please explain to me again what the fuck happened yesterday? As Russia seems to have cut all communication with us whilst China aren't providing any information at all.\"\n\n\"Like I said to control yesterday, my crew were boarding the Soyuz capsule whilst I preformed the last minute checks. When I approached the capsule to board Commander Yenkov grabbed open the survival box and pulled out the gun and pointed it at me. I was then told to leave the capsule and stay here.\"\n\nSigh \"It looks like all this political tension has finally reached space. Don't worry we'll sort it out. You just float back and relax. Oh and don't forget America doesn't forget!\"\n\nAmerica doesn't forget. I chuckled at the thought as it crossed my mind for the third day running. No contact, not even a text based message, nothing since that line. It definitely felt like they had forgotten. I floated back to the window, I had lost count how many times over the past four days I had just gazed out onto Earth hoping to see my rescue rocket soaring through the atmosphere, and just like the contact with NASA there was nothing.\n\n\"No connection\" I dunno what I expected the signal dropped a few hours ago and nothing on this station ever miraculously fixes itself. I'll have to add it to my report for the next crew. Back to gazing out of the window then. This time there wasn't nothing. An unmistakable light carrying on a trajectory was skimming over the horizon. Excitement and joy filled my insides. I felt as giddy as a kid in a sweatshop. My rescue ship had arrived. It never even crossed my mind that NASA couldn't get anything in the air that quickly. But my excitement soon came to an abrupt end when I spotted another, then another. They were coming from all directions on every continent. \n\nThen the loneliness flowed in again...\n\n", "It had been three days since my crew evacuated; three days since the collision; three days since the apparent end of the world. I thought I was being the hero for staying behind and making sure the rest of my crew could safely get in the emergency capsules and head back to Earth. We had to make use of all four emergency capsules to get everyone back, but the Russian hatch was jammed. I held it open for Rob and Arthur, knowing I'de have to stay behind. But I was content; I fulfilled my childhood dream of being an astronaut. I survived the rigorous conditioning, the tedious training, the years of waiting. Eight months of grin inducing weightlessness and beautiful views of our home planet were well worth it. \n\nJust ten minutes after my crew vanished from sight however, I began to question my decision. The reason we evacuated in the first place was because of a small meteor on target for the station. With not enough time for course corrections, our only decision was to evacuate. Looking at the radar moniter showed something different. A meteor vastly bigger than what NASA had told us. I didn't believe what I was seeing at first. The 15 foot rock was now nearly 12 miles in length. I thought it must be some sort of error; some fault in the system as a result of our evacuation - possibly related to the faulty Russian capsule. Again and again as I rescanned and confirmed the readings, another possibility began to come in mind. Perhaps NASA knew. Not wanting to scare us they under rated the size so we could evacuate with our minds as ease. \n\n\nThe next 20 minutes seemed like a lifetime. I watched the monstrous rock narrowly pass by the station (I guess we didn't have to evacuate anyway). I watched it punch through the atmosphere burning with a strangely beautiful red tinge. I watched the shockwave make its way around the circumference of the earth. A wave of fire and destruction which circled the earth multiple times, getting smaller with each pass. As the sun set for the 12th time today and I saw no city lights, no sign of civilization- I realized I may now be the last human alive." ]	5
	[WP] You have somehow gone back to a time of cavemen. Excited to become their leader, you plan on showing them fire, only to find out they already know about that. You still want to be distinguished, but with that card gone, it becomes a lot harder to impress...	[ "\"Oh. You've mastered fire, have you?\" Ron looked disappointed, something only enhanced by his knowledge that none of them understood what he was saying.\n\nThen Ron's stomach rumbled. He blinked, looked around, then grinned. They have fire, he thought, but even my shitty food is gourmet compared to how they prepare food! He began making a mental tally of what he'd need: earthenware to cook on, some solid wood to turn into various utensils... he could do this! Thank god for that hipster he dated that insisted on taking a pottery class with him.\n\nFortunately for Ron, the small tribal group he encountered was curious and fascinated enough about him to not chase him off right away. It took Ron several days to construct everything he needed, which was faster than he thought it'd take him. It was amazing how productive someone could be when they literally had nothing else to do. Ron took a few more days to scout the general area for useful herbs, managing to find some lavender, onions, and even some garlic! Salt could be procured easily enough by boiling seawater.\n\nRon had hoped to crown himself king, shocking and amazing neolithic people with his marvelous fire! He became a king, but not quite the sort he wanted to become. Individuals and tribes would come from miles around to have Ron's cooked or dried foods. Where people gathered to eat, trade was bound to spring up.\n\nNo one could read it but Ron, but he was proud of the sign outside his compound: Ron's Diner and Bizarre.", "\"Seriously?\" The flash of light from her arrival blinded every nomad in the camp. \"You already have it? Did he beat me here? That little monster,\" Sarah pulled a strand of hair back behind a clip. The nomads didn't know what to do, it was the second person they'd seen in mysterious colors that covered far more than a loin cloth would. Two of the huskier men beat their clubs against their palms and stepped towards her.\n\nSarah smirked. Their approach was pointless, she charged at them, easily leaping and knocking them out with the sole of her shoe. Sarah brushed her hands off, \"anyone else? That's what I thought,\" she grabbed a log out of the fire and began waving it around. \"I'm your new master- alright?\" They grunted but it seemed they got the message. \"I can't teach you about fire...I really only had that...well how about wavelengths- no, no that won't make sense. Oh! Math, I can write the first math problem!\" Sarah jogged over to the cave, all but breaking into someone's home.\n\n\"Who let him do this?! Who?\" She waved the burning stick around the cave. A small mix of integers was scrawled on the wall, right next to a cave painting and a signature by that disdainful boy- Maxwell. Sarah had a lot of catching up to do; she scratched out his name and drew a few stick figures with spears around the buffalo. With that, she dropped the burning stick back on the fire and started down the hunting trail- this was going to be the worst rewriting history challenge yet." ]	2
From The Little Prince	[WP] "I've been foolish," she said to him at last. "Please forgive me. Try to be happy."	[ "\"I've been foolish, please, forgive me\". She said over her extra large Costa something-stupidly-named coffee. It smelled faintly of caramel. \n\n\"I'm sure you're aware of your behaviour, that doesn't mean you're apology is accepted. Nor does the fact were biologically related give you any privileges on that score either, Maisie\". I was pissed at her still. The lawyer in me was screaming to walk away, but the best I could hope for was this basic apology and hope the old guy died sooner rather than later and I could just move... I let my mind wonder whilst she stirred her cup. It was an awkward silence but I was in no great hurry to talk. \n\n\"Look, I'm well aware of your thoughts on me. It's no great secret that all of you, the whole family, see me as this heinous monster wh-\"\n\nI cut her off before her bullshit made me do stuff I'd regret \"Don't. Save me your self serving bullshit. I can't believe you're making this about the family. The only fucking tone you've ever thought about the family is when your rummaging through the old man's bank account statements. Fuck. I've been telling him to go paperless for years just so people like you couldn't get all gooey eyed over his savings. You're wrong. Stop trying to make this something it isn't and just admit to what it is\" I actually almost spat the last bit out. Seeing her squirm gave me no particular enjoyment, but a girl has to get kicks somehow. Maybe I'm a sadist. Who knows?\n\n\"Hmm. Disdain. You think you're above me. But I know things. Real things, Chel\"\n\n\"Really? I'm here because he asked me to be and this is the best you can do? I'm wasting my time\"\n\nShe pulled out a crumpled piece of paper and spread it out on the table, flattening it out with her hands. Rain had obviously got to it at some point in its past and it looked like it just might have come from someone's garbage. \n\n\"I don't expect you to believe me. I expect you to believe the truth. It's here, in black and white\" she pointed to the paper and turned it in my direction. I looked, almost expecting it to be some kind of- fuck, I dunno. Not what I was looking at. At first glance I thought it was a child's drawing. But it wasn't. I don't know it yet, but this is the most dangerous thing I've held. Ever. \n\n\"What is it?\" I ask as I'm turning it in my hands, looking for that secret number like you get in those tests where they check your colour blindness. \n\n\"Oh for fuck sake\" she huffed and snatched it out of my hand. She placed it back on the table and scooted into the seat next to me. \"Ok. Well. I know it's not really legible, but it is once you know what you're looking for\" she pointed with her perfectly manicured finger to the grey pencil smudge on the paper. \"Here. I'd kinda hoped you'd see it so I wouldn't be... What's the term you legal eagles use? Coercing? Yeah. I didn't want to coerce you\". I finally submitted to her madness and put on my glasses. \n\nThere, among the streaks of pencil rubbed across the page, barely visible, was writing. My mother's writing. Words. A telephone number \"Monday, 4.30a.m. accident, \"Roy\"\". \n\n\"So what's this all about Maisie?\"\n\n\"It's the day you're going to die\"...\n\nI sat there, stunned. Today was Monday. Was it this Monday? Next Monday? A month from now? How do I tell my kids? My husband? Do I tell them at all? Why me?\n\nAnd thus began the worst day of my life. \n\nTBC" ]	1
	[WP] surfing the deep web you stumbled upon a strange site named the ultimate god control panel, you laugh and choose to remove the colors and for your surprise the world turns to black and white. It works..	[ "\"No way...\", I whispered under my breath. I could feel my breathing quicken as my blinking increased dramatically and I splashed my glass of water on my pulsating face. Nothing... still just black and white. \n\nI tapped the black/white button again and suddenly in the next blink everything was back to normal. A quick Google search proved that I must be the only person to find this site. There were no articles or any kind of news/forums for anything like the site I had just been on.\n\n\"Pancakes?\", called my girlfriend from the kitchen, shaking me back to reality. I shut the lid on my laptop in an instant and managed to stumble my way to the kitchen.\n\n\"Are you alright there?\" she lamented in her usual calm voice.\n\n\"Yeah yeah its nothing\", I muttered.\n\n\"I will see you after work alright?\"\n\n\"Sounds good\" I whispered in deep thought.\n\nShe began to clean the dishes as I left the door of our two room flat and made my way downstairs. How could this be? What kind of sorcery could trick my own mind in such a way? I know that senses are all just based on brain input so it must be some kind of bias that makes me want it to work. \n\nBut why has there been no mention of it on the web? Am I the only one to find this site? All these thoughts and more flooded me as I made my way down into the station and plumped down on the Canal St. bench waiting for the subway. \n\nOne of the overhead lights was flickering intensely, disturbing my deep thought. Suddenly it just died off and my mind was able to focus again. The subway could be heard form far off and I was on just as it pulled up with suitcase in hand. \n\nA thought immediately struck me, something to terrible to even consider. I suddenly knew why I seemed to be the first person to find this site. But what if... no... she can't touch my laptop. I knew how it had altered my reality before and I had left the tab open. I jumped up from my seat but only to late to miss the subway door by just seconds. My heart was pounding and I could hear my breathing as eyes were all focused on me. \n\n\"SOMEONE HELP ME!\" \"I NEEED TO GET HOME NOW!!\"\n\nA confused group of passengers muttered to themselves and tried to avoid eye contact as I scrambled around the car. \n\nAnd just like that suddenly everything went dark and I felt nothing. I was gone." ]	1
	[WP] A king wants his daughter to marry for true love, but she would much rather marry for wealth and power	[ "\"So, like, I met this super rich prince at Elizabeth's birthday feast last month. He's ugly as shit though.\" \n\n\"But do you love him? Marriage is pretty serious.\" \n\n\"I can't even speak his language, Dad. But I love his money. Plus, his dad's, like, super old. Like, older than you. I'd be queen in a year.\"\n\n\"But sweetie, there's more to life than power. And how are you supposed to marry him if you can't talk to him.\"\n\n\"That's the easy part. I got the Greek sculptor to make one of me. He sent it off this morning. Should get there some time in the next two months.\"\n\n\"What?!?!?\"\n\n\"Don't worry, dad. He didn't see me naked. I just had him use his imagination. Look. All I want is to be queen. And don't you love your only daughter? Don't you want her to marry a rich guy so her family's super powerful? Come on. We could have, like, sooooo much farmland. Imagine all the peasants. I could have an different affairs with the stable-\"\n\n\"Enough!! I did not raise come from royalty to raise a gold miner! Now, go out there and find someone, ANYONE, with some similar interests, you actually would want to spend the rest of your life with. Like your mother did for me.\"\n\n\"Harold, that's a bit of a stretch there...\"\n\n\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] A species other than humans has become the dominant species, and humans are endangered	[ "April 1st : Pandemic 218. That's what they are calling it. \n\nSymptoms include; Severe swelling of the eyes and forehead, psychological break down, complete paralysis, then coma. \n\nI'd been studying several Raccoons with the Virus, many of which were already in the coma stage of the disease. Vitals on most were stable, odd considering the lack of food, but this virus is quite odd as well. There are many raccoons, however, not yet into the paralysis stage, and those are the most disturbing. Hyper-violent outbreaks are not rare, nor is the strange grunts during their fits of rage. I swear, it would almost sound like they were demanding freedom. \n\nApril 5th : We'd assumed that due to the rage inducing aspects of the virus that it was a strain of rabies. When we were removing the skull of one particular Raccoon, however, no samples could be taken as the brain had liquefied inside the skull. How the raccoon was still alive baffled me. \n\nApril 6th : Appears some of the Comatose raccoons are beginning to show signs of reawakening. A CT scan of one of the more docile post-coma raccoons showed us something, very, very wrong. I...I really dont know how to explain it, other than massive, off the charts brain activity. \n\n\n{ Special News Bulletin!} \n\n\"It appears that a large sample of contaminated Raccoons have managed to escape their cages at the CDC and we have lost contact with the people inside.\" \nTV's across the nation were broadcasting the strange turn of events. \n\"First responders have not been able to reach anyone inside due to blockaded doors and windows. As well as possible contaminates. Police Chief Timothy Stone had the following to say; \n\n'No, we have no reason to believe this is terrorist related, or that anyone is armed or dangerous. If no response can be gained, in a short while we will use force, but as the situation presents itself, none is really necessary.' \n\n\"Thank you for that analysis Chief Stone.\"\n \n-a short time later-\n\n\"We now go live to David Garter, at the scene of the unexplained CDC lock down.\"\n\n\"Thank you Trisha, Here we see the police about the unveil the shroud around the locked CDC building. Over there we see the swat team with their battering ram. Ok, they are approaching the door now.\"\n\nThe swat team hammered at the door once, then twice, before the dense ram made its way through the recently reinforced door. \n\n\"Looks like they are in Trisha\" \n\n\"It...There appears to be gunshots resounding from the building Trisha, This might indeed be a terrorist movement. The gun shots seem to be getting closer now. They seemed to have died down now.\"\n\nShortly after the swift firefight the Police team tried reaching the Swat units.\n\n\"Trisha, it seems that the Police are having some difficulty reaching their guys inside. Im going back to talk with...Wait, whats that?\"\n\nThe camera pans back to the door where a raccoon is walking out, dragging what appears to be some sort of lab equipment.\n\n\"Trisha, the escaped raccoons seem to be exiting the building, and the police are leveling their guns at it.\"\n\nThe raccoon stood there for a moment looking at the crowd. Then barked some eerily English sounding barks back inside.\n\nTwo more walked out, holding lab equipment. They leveled the equipment toward the crowd, then bathed them in Gamma Rays.", "All around him, Jon hears the caw of the crows as they fly overhead. He ducks into a dilapidated shed, hiding under the fallen roof. He knows that if the crows hear him they will begin hunting for him. Overhead, a crow lands in the Live Oak. Soon, a murder of ten join him. Jon doesn’t understand them, despite the last twenty years of running from them. As he tries to flatten himself against the wall, the rotten wood disintegrates and Jon falls to the ground, exposed to the black horde above him. The murder stoops down and surround the fallen man.\nThe ground is cold and hard; it is nearly dawn. The air is rank with the sweet, cruel smell of rot. As she tries to move, Liz finds that she is being restrained. She pulls hard but the sharp pain in her hip causes her to scream in pain. It is still too dark in the room for her to see, but the sore on her hip is oozing. Liz pleads with her captors for them to release her. As she shouts again, the person in the room next to her whispers for her to be quiet.\n\n“You need to stop”, the unknown person tells her. “They will come and shut you up if you don’t do it yourself.” \n\n“What are you talking about?” Liz asks, not understanding what is truly going on.\n\n“There was a man down the hall that kept calling for them last night,” he explains. “After you passed out, he began calling out in pain. He plead with them to let him go. The birds just gathered outside the cage, staring at him. Finally, they flew into the cage and attacked. He flailed and swung at them, but his gangrenous arms and legs were useless. The strips of muscle and sinew flapping in the air only enticed the birds more. He stopped crying after 25 minutes. You could hear him grow louder and angrier until finally he stopped,” the man continues. \n\nLiz began to cry as she finally understood her fate. She had been brought here as a subject to of their studies. Before her, family members had all volunteered to submit. They had all hoped to spare those that they left behind. The stories passing around the remaining humans were that the birds were trying to revitalize the human race. For decades the crows had hunted them. Eventually only a few hundred thousand humans survived. They were relegated to the deserts, harsh Northern climates and the countless barely habitable islands of the Pacific. To the surprise of the entire human world, the crows began to come out against them. Every morning the crows came out from their hiding places and attacked. They were ruthless. At first, they only picked off the weak and old. Eventually though, they showed signs that no one expected. They attacked in murderous death squads. Millions of them blackened the sky. They used tools to knock out the electrical grid and waited for their prey to begin to turn against their neighbors. Millions died at the hands of another human. The crows continued to attack, killing off towns slowly. \n\nThe wind of destruction that followed was even more unexpected. The crows came at them with weapons beyond human comprehension. They wiped out entire regions in a single day. The humans that escaped were ill-equipped for survival. Humans were rounded up and ripped apart, becoming food for crows all over the world. As the population was destroyed, the crows realized that their main food supply needed to be saved. \n\nThey told the humans that they no longer sought to kill them. Humans everywhere volunteered for study. The population was growing but in horrible conditions. The humans were fenced into huge farms. They were fattened and kept by the tens of thousands in dirty paddocks. As they became too fat to walk, they were brought into the air conditioned, sterile buildings. They were given water and told to wait for further study. \n\nLiz was one of these people. She hadn’t gained weight as the crows expected. Watching people disappear around her made Liz worry that something terrible was happening. She came in willingly hoping to find out what was going on. A crow came into her room and used a small syringe to inject something into her hip. As she began to fall asleep she heard a group of crows flutter into the room. She felt her flesh being ripped from her hands and feet but couldn’t move. They had paralyzed her. \n\nNow, she was unable to escape because her limbs were lashed to the ground. Her feet and hands screamed out in pain. As the room brightened she lifted her head and saw that her hands and feet were no longer attached to her body. She could see a brownish-red fluid was accumulating on the floor next to her left hip. Her shirt was stiff and stuck to her hip. She could hear the flutter of wings as the door to her room creaked open. In came several crows. The dropped onto her face and chest. The last thing that she heard was the whole murder cawing as they methodically ripped her apart. \n\n" ]	2
	[WP] The fate of Humanity rests on the results of a single game of Jenga	[ "Just before Jaksud signaled for launch, his informant grabbed his attention.\n\n\"They have responded to our demands.\" Grikor motioned him to come view his monitor. \"They wish to negotiate.\"\n\n\"Negotiate? On what terms? The war has crippled them; they have no legs to stand on. Victory is imminent, and I would prefer we reach a peaceful surrender than launching any missiles.\" Jaksud began to pace the bridge of his ship.\n\n\"They wish to challenge us in a way that is different,\" Grikor muttered. \"They want to prove that they deserve to exist.\"\n\n\"And exactly how do they plan to prove this?\"\n\n\"Jenga.\"\n\nJaksud crossed his arms and looked at the floor. Jenga was an ancient game that every civilization was aware of, yet no one knew of it's origins. It required skill, intelligence and patience. Things Jaksud and the rest of his species held dearly within their beings.\n\n\"Very well,\" he said as he returned to his chair. \"We will accept their challenge.\"\n\nGrikor nodded to the Chief Materializer, Skawd, who then began typing away on his control panel.\n\n\"Let this moment in time be the deciding factor of the survival of an entire species,\" Jaksud announced.\n\nThe ship sent a beam that began construction on the surface of the earth.\n\n\"This single game will either make this civilization, or ultimately break them.\"\n\nThe ship finished the structure. It stood fifteen thousand feet tall. It was made up of humongous Jenga blocks the size of asteroids. The ship could remove each piece with a tractor beam with ease. It was up to mankind to forge their own means of removing the pieces.\n\nIf the tower were to fall, the massive crash would wipe all life from the face of the earth.\n\n\"Let us begin. They have fifty years to make the first move.\"" ]	1
	[WP] God is hearing prayers for the first time	[ "“Would you like to add the sports package?” a voice on the phone questioned, “It would only be an additional $9.99 on top of your monthly bill.”\n\n“Uh… Yeah, that sounds good”, God replied in a booming voice as he sat upon his couch with an open box of pizza resting upon his chest, “Actually, wait… is the sports package just a bunch of crappy ESPN channels or will I get something good like… uh…NBA.TV and Redzone?”\n\n“Yes, sir… so the sports package will give you access to all the sports channels including Redzone and NBA.TV”, the salesperson responded, “But will also come with ESPN and other sports related content… would that be okay sir?”\n\nGod shimmied his way up using his back muscles until he was seated upright, and then removed his baseball cap and put it on backwards, “Is there any way I could just Redzone and few select channels without all the other crap?”\n\n“Sorry, sir”, the salesperson responded quickly, “Unfortunately, Redzone and other various programs only come as part of our sports package.”\n\n“Uhhh…Yeah, sure”, God replied while throwing his head back, “I’ll just take the full sports package then, I guess.”\n\n“Okay, sir…great”, the salesperson responded, “So I have you down for the double-play bundle which includes our high-speed internet and cable package, along with the additional charge for the sports package… will that be all sir?”\n\n“Yes”, God replied in a defeated tone.\n\n“Okay”, the salesperson responded, “…but I do see here that you currently have a landline through our triple-play service… would you like to renew this deal and keep this line or just go ahead with the double-play bundle and drop that line?”\n\nGod threw the pizza box onto the coffee table and the swung his feet off of the couch and onto the floor. Twisting his head to the side, he contemplated the existence of such a line before replying, “I don’t have a landline… at least… No, no… I know I don’t have a landline through your service.”\n\n“Sir”, the salesperson responded, “It says right here that you have a landline through our services… now if you’d like to cancel that service, then I’d be happy to do that for you.”\n\n“Look, I am God! God dammit!” God replied, “I know I don’t have a landline.”\n\n“Well, sir”, the salesperson responded, “In our notes…it says here that you created a landline a little over 2,000 years ago in order to keep in touch with your son… on a place called Earth…perhaps you forg…”\n\n“Holy shit! I’ve got to go” God interrupted before hanging up the phone.\n\nGod lept of off the couch and ran up the nearby stairs, making a left down the hallway once he reached the top. He continued down the hall until he reached a door on the left and threw it open.\n\n“Jesus”, God bellowed, “Did you know we have a landline?”\n\nJesus was laying stomach first upon his bed, slowly kicking his feet in the air behind him. He was resting upon both of his elbows, while flipping through a magazine. He lifted his head toward his father and responded, “Gosh dad! Don’t you ever knock?”\n\n“Dammit Jesus!” God replied, “This is my house and if I want to enter a room, then God damn will… and if you don’t like it then you can go get your own place.”\n\n“Oh, I will!” Jesus responded, “And when I do… you’ll miss me!”\n\nGod chuckled before replying, “You’ve gotta get a job before you can do that”\n\n“I said I’m looking!” Jesus responded, “Just nothing really interest me… I wanna do something I love and not some cruddy nine to five like everyone else.”\n\nGod chuckled again, “…Hell, with that attitude, you’d have a better chance building one yourself, but I doubt that shitty building technique the humans taught you will even pass code around here.”\n\n“You just don’t get it Dad!” Jesus replied, “It’s not the same as when you were a kid… it’s harder on us nowadays.”\n\n“Harder, Ha!” God replied, “My day makes yours look like a daycare.”\n\nThere was slight lull in the conversation as Jesus didn’t look up from his magazine and stopped moving. Then he looked up at God with teary eyes and exclaimed, “I’m just asking for a little support and understanding…Okay? I mean things haven’t ever been the same between Mom and me since we left Earth…”\n\nGod let out a large sigh while looking down at the floor. His hand ran up and down the framing of the door a few time before he looked back at Jesus.\n\n“I’m sorry… you’re right”, God started, “I didn’t even want to get into this… I just came up here to ask if we had a landline… the people over at the cable company says we do.”\n\nThe facial expression on Jesus’s face changed as he swung his feet around onto the floor and looked away from God outside the bedroom window. They didn’t exchange words for a few moments before God realized something was up.\n\n“Jesus…” God continued, “Do you know something about this damn landline?”\n\n“Maybe”\n\n“Maybe?” God replied fiercely.\n\n“Okay, so I know about it”, Jesus replied innocently as turned around to face his father, “…but I swear its not that big a deal.”\n\n“Deal?” God replied, “So there is some sort of DEAL?\n\n“No, no”, Jesus replied, “Just a bunch of humans asking for small, meaningless favors now and again.”\n\n“Favors? What kind of favors?”\n\n“You know, favors”, Jesus replied, “Sometimes I help them out… others I ignore…”\n\n“YOU fulfill their request?” God replied, “Jesus…”\n\n“Father, I know… But it’s not that big…”\n\n“Not that big?” God replied, “Jesus, its fraud… Oh my God, if the company finds out about this then.”\n\n“They won’t”, Jesus assured him, “They have sooo many lifeforms on sooo many planets to worry about, that they would never be concerned.”\n\n“You better damn hope so!” God replied, “What if this is why I got passed up for promotion last month… Jesus, I swear if this effects my performance reviews then you’re out of here.”\n\n“I was trying to help”, Jesus replied, “I swear… I took good care of them… I actually really like this line of work.”\n\n“Just show me where the damn landline is so we can sort this out”, God demanded.\n\nJesus sheepishly stood up and walked to one side of the bed and pulled out a phone from underneath.", "As god sat down for the first time since he created time, resting in his hand woven chair in his glorious palace, voices began fading in and out of his head. \"What is this\", God remarked, \"I thought all there was in the universe was what is around me?\n\nSitting there, he reached up to his head with his hand rubbing it to try and calm the voices running through his head. At this moment, with each rub, it would clarify one voice deafening all of the others. \"God, why did mommy have to go? Why did she have to leave me? Amen.\" came a child's voice through his mind. \"God, I ask for forgiveness for my deeds. It was wrong of me to drink, I did not mean to kill her, please let me trade places with her, please god rid me of this guilt\" came the plea's of a man who had broken down crying. \n\nGod clutched his head, leaning forward in his chair, \"Something is suffering in this universe?\" he asked himself. \"Why would they be suffering, I thought I was alone.\" He rubbed his head again, this time intensifying the prayers he was receiving, \"Oh father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Oh heavenly father, we are saddened you took this mother from us and we pray that you are looking out for her two sons\" came the prayer from a preacher, a disciple of God. \n\n\"This suffering, is there nothing I can do to help?\" I need to do something, something to prevent this suffering\" god quipped as more prayers came flooding in. \"Oh lord, look over our nation in the spirit of the revolution. May you guide us away from tyranny and in the efforts to preserve our religious freedom from the British Empire. Protect us to avoid persecution in thy name so we shall be able to spread your word across the land. Amen.\"\n\n\"Oh heavenly father, take me into your loving arms so I may no longer suffer from illnesses and pain, accept me into your everlasting kingdom oh lord, I am ready.\" And at this very moment, God decided he needed to prevent the suffering of these other beings whom he had apparently created. He stood up, abruptly and interrupting the other voices, and reached out towards the last voice he heard.\n\n________________________________________________________________\n\nShe laid there, immobile in the hospital bed hearing the constant beeping of the life monitor with her family weary from the week long battle she had endured, wanting the suffering to end. She looked up, eyes opening from the slumber that had overcome her for the past 2 days to see a bright light on the other side. She reached out, tugging the cords out that were stuck inside of her to touch gods hand, to caress what she thought was salvation. \n\nThe mother woke up, jolting upwards and waking her husband from the sleep they were trying to catch only to leap forward to the bedside of the grandma. Amazed at what was happening, to see her wake up and point up to the sky they called for the nurse to see what was happening.\n\nShe laid there, one arm extended towards the ceiling. She began to move once more, this time extending both arms outward, away from her body and began moving her arms ever so slightly as if she were flying. \n\n________________________________________________________________\n\nGod had instructed his angels to save all of those who died, to welcome them into his kingdom. He had instructed them to fly down and whisk away those who died, to offer their souls the eternal comfort he so enjoyed within the kingdom he created. His angels agreed to this, and as god turned away he said, \"Gabriel, look over my kingdom.\"\n\nGabriel replied, \"But why?\"\n\n\"It is time I suffer like these voices I hear in my head, it is time I give myself up and suffer for them. I have created them, and I failed them by allowing them to go through such agony. I will be gone for an unknown amount of time, to give myself up at some point in their history to let them know I am here for them and they can find comfort in the afterlife.\" God said in a weary voice, \"I can not sit here idly and let them go through the torment many of them do without acting.\"\n\nGabriel, now standing at his side said, \"We will be here when you get back, with many of those who have died and will die here and waiting.\"\n\nGod then turned towards Earth, and gave himself up to be born into mortal form to suffer as much as the voices he had heard inside of his head.\n\n________________________________________________________________\n\nAs the grandma lay there, with her son, her cousins, her grand children and hospital staff standing over her pleading with her to wake up, she laid down her arms. With her last breath, she whispered \"I am, at peace\", as the monitors let out a long, continuous beep, and the angels whisked her away to God's kingdom.\n\n------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nSo, I don't do much writing. In fact, I think this MAY be my first actual writing in this sub but I had such a good idea (At least, in my opinion) I just had to write. I combined some factual things with some obviously fiction things.\n\nThe reason I felt compelled to write this is because my Grandma passed away in the exact same fashion as I wrote about the Grandma dying here. All of the actions in the story were done by my grandma as she laid there dying. I wrote this because I thought I could write the other side of her death, to give comfort and to entertain myself.\n\nCorrect me on my grammar, I always accept criticisms because how else can you get better? Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed.", "God the almighty creator of the universe, He who brought forth existence from nothingness and in seven days fabricated all of time and space from the ether of the void, leaned back in his office chair and sighed deeply. \n\n\"It can't be that bad.\" He said to Gabriel who was sitting across the office with his head buried in his hands, \"Wasn't I just down there? I think they would have said something if they were having any problems.\" Gabriel looked up, his face the color that a face can only get when the wearer of said face has just realized he has an inconceivably tremendous mess to clean up. \n\n\"You were there over 2000 years ago. That's quite a long time for them.\" said the angel, \"It hasn't struck you as odd that all this time you haven't gotten anything from them? Anything at all?\" The angel stood up and paced around the room. God leaned back in his chair further still and laced his fingers behind his head. He planted his feet up on the desk and found himself to be quite comfortable. Being an omnipresent being it was easy for Him to relax due to the fact that while he was here in his office, he was also simultaneously everywhere in the universe excluding his office and presently everywhere in the universe excluding his office was far more pleasant because only here was he being scolded for missing every prayer humanity had sent him since the dawn of their existence because they had somehow ended up in the spam folder of his email. \n\n\"Well we may as well have a look at what they have to say.\" said God. He began scrolling through the messages skimming over the prayer subjects as he went. \"I'm sure they've just asked for a few favors here and there, no big deal.\" Gabriel scowled as he moved in to read over God's shoulder and for a moment God considered granting his angels the ability to be in all places at once as well so they wouldn't have to be so uptight all the time. After a moment he thought to himself, no then I would never be able to have any fun. \n\n\"Well so much for leaving food growing out of the ground and mucking about in all the fields and oceans, they seem to be quite hungry all the time,\" said Gabriel, \"and every few centuries some group of fellows comes up and starts killing a bunch of people.\" Even God couldn't help feeling concerned as he scrolled through the eighteen billionth page of prayers with the name Hitler in the subject line. Perhaps this was a bit of an issue after all, he thought. \n\n\"Well what can we do now?\" asked God \"I suppose some form of apology is in order.\"\n\n\"I haven't the faintest idea,\" replied Gabriel, \"You made them, what do they like?\"\n\nGod thought for a moment and then decided he had an idea that might just make everything right.\n\nLater that day on every continent and in every country an apple tree sprung forth from the ground, branches heavy with plump, ripe apples. Posted on each was a note which read, \"Sorry about missing all your prayers, know you guys like these so they're totally cool to eat now. We're good right?\" -God\n\nUpon eating one of the apples one would find they had suddenly acquired a great deal of knowledge of the world around them. Utilizing this sudden collective leap forward in knowledge, humanity began making great strides in science and technology and before long had ultimately concluded that no God in fact existed and it was science that had all the answers all along. Despite Gabriel's insistence that He pursue the matter further, God found this to be a reasonably satisfying conclusion to the entire ordeal.\n\n" ]	3
	[WP] Yeah, I know I have superpowers. But I’m not interested in being a superhero or a supervillain. Stop bothering me.	[ "Being an introvert is tough. Especially when everyone around you constantly asks to see you \"do the thing where you levitate above the ground without touching it\" or \"lift up an object using your mind again\". It's tiring, and I wish everyone stopped caring.\n\nThere was this one time where I was just walking down to the local supermarket to buy some groceries, and this kid, couldn't have been more than 9 or 10, was screaming at the top of his lungs for me to lift him into the air using my \"magical mind powers\", as I've labeled them. Anyways, he created a huge scene, and now I only get my groceries from the superheroes who work at AmazonFresh and bring me fresh food to my door.\n\nMy super powers will never stop being a challenge I suppose. It's more of a burden than anything else, and it's all because I happened to be walking by a burning apartment building one day, when I saw a cat on the window sill. And I did what any good person would do; I levitated him to the ground using my \"magical mind powers\". As it turns out, the ever growing fascination with people being on their smart-phones 24/7 allowed for three different video angles of me levitating the cat to the ground. Over 27,000,000 combined views within the first week of the videos being posted to YouTube. After that, it was chaos. I couldn't even open the window of my small studio apartment without seeing flashes from cameras and people with megaphones screaming,\n\n\"Care for an interview?\"\n\n\"Can you give us a demonstration?\"\n\n\"We will make you famous!\"\n\nIt got to the point where I hired an (annoyingly starstruck) PR lady to take care of all of the incoming invitations I had to all of these universities, labs, and demonstration events. The President even wanted to meet me. But I turned them all down, and to this day I still am. \n\nA thought that never leaves my mind is how I could have prevented this all from happening. I could have just not saved that cat. Would I have felt guilty about it? Sure I would've. But I'm glad I saved it. Maybe one day I'll have a radical change of mind; a new perspective on how I view my powers, and how I could use them for good. But for right now, I'm fine with using them to open the fridge without all of the extra effort of using my hands, and browsing Reddit without my hands on the mouse.\n\n____\n\n*Sorry if this story wasn't really that good. I never write stories, but something about this prompt inspired me to go for it." ]	1
Feel free to interpret the man however you want, as I did not specify that the man had to be from the 17th century :P	[WP] In the middle of Times Square, a futuristic time machine manifests without warning. However, a strange man dressed in 17th century garb emerges from the door, and not the typical futuristic time traveler that most people expected.	[ "Times Square, a beautiful bustling neon city street, it was 8pm and people were everywhere, the glow from the giant screens illuminating the people as they crossed the busy intersections.\nA loud noise like the sound of ripping pants when you bend down too low tore through the air. The world seemed to stop, people stood in their tracks and looked toward a slowly growing light, tendrils of energy licking the ground.\nPeople started to turn and run, the vacuum of the newly rent space pulled people closer to it even as they tried to escape, paper and other light objects flew in all directions.\nSuddenly the opening shot out a meter and then closed on itself, all the electronics in the area blew like an EMP bomb had just been let off, sparks rained down in the pure darkness and the city was without light.\nAll that could be seen was a thrumming blue light and a slightly illuminated man sitting in a buggy of some sort.\nThe silence was deafening, people were way too scared to know what to do.\n“Well that was rather theatrical wasn’t it?” the man said out loud, smoke starting to pour out from his vehicle.\nThe power came on just as he jumped out of his buggy and stood posing looking up at the screens flickering back on.\n“Wow!” the man dressed in the garb of the renaissance remarked “these giant buildings! These giant panels of moving artworks!”\nHis head moved from left to right, soaking in all he could.\nSirens started to approach; police would be here any second alerted by the crowds and local police calling for backup.\n“These machines coming towards me, what are…?” he said rudely interrupted by the police drifted onto the scene and shouting over megaphones\n“Oh I see… I guess we stay primitive for a lot longer then, a shame.” He said backing up to his cart.\nA few men in black started to appear out of the shadows drawing oddly shaped hand weapons.\nThe man from another time touched his vehicle and smiled.\n“Allons-y!” He ejaculated as the air around him seemed to fold into itself and swallow him whole.\n" ]	1
	[WP] You are the frustrated concierge of a haunted hotel. You're about to perform an amateur exorcism, when the spooks send someone to negotiate.	[ "The apparition clears its throat. \"Mr Werner, I'd like to introduce myself.\" \n\nGreat. Great, this is fucking... it's wearing a Daffy Duck tie for crying out loud. Not only has this thing completely ruined my wall again, it doesn't even have the decency to dress like a functioning adult. Christ. They could pay me double the CEO's salary and it wouldn't be enough. \n\n\"My name is Albert North.\" The ghost in the tacky tie extends a hand and I go to take it out of habit before I realise. Right. Can't shake hands with a ghost. Wouldn't want to shake hands with this badly dressed moron anyway. Albert North, Useless Spirit, looks slightly frazzled, and continues speaking. \n\n\"Mr Werner, I represent the spirits of this hotel. Your exorcism preparation has not escaped our attention, and I've been sent to draw up a truce. You see, if we were to be exorcised, it would be very difficult for us t-\"\n\n\"Difficult? For you!?\" I can't help it, I basically shriek it at him. \"Three times! Three times today I've had ectoplasm dripping from the ceiling in Room 204! Someone is haunting the main phone line and nobody can make bookings right now except via fax! Fax, Albert! It's 2016! That decaying hand keeps laying out on the pool chairs and it's really freaking out the guests and guess who has to deal with those complaints, Albert! I do! I get paid eight dollars an hour to chase whoever it is that likes to throw Pepto Bismol at people out of the first aid office! But ohhhhh, it's difficult for you! My apologies! Jesus!\" \n\nAlbert sighs, and I kick the wall a little. It hurts, and I resent him for that.\n\n\"When we get exorcised,\" he says, patiently, \"we have to fill out a Displaced Spirit form. It's seventeen pages long, and even after you've submitted it there's no guarantee you'll be rehomed. It's a long, bureaucratic process, and nobody likes it. Over two hundred spirits reside at this hotel, Mr Werner. That's thirty-four hundred pages of paperwork, and at the end of those thirty-four hundred pages will be up to a hundred and fifty homeless spirits.\" \n\n\"So?\" I spit. It took me ages to find a priest willing to bless the water in our sprinkler system, I don't want this pathetic accountant-looking motherfucker ruining my exorcism now. \"Why should I feel bad about that? You guys are ruining my life!\" \n\n\"We'd like to come to an agreement, Mr Werner,\" Albert continues. \"We realise that one or two of our more boisterous residents have been causing some disturbances for you, and we'd like to lay down some terms with you. A tenancy agreement, if you will.\"\n\nAlbert reaches into his suit pocket and pulls out a document. He clears his throat again. Christ. Why does a ghost have this much phlegm? \n\n\"Article one,\" he reads, \"Brian will reattach his hand and stop leaving it by the pool. Failure to do so will result in his eviction. Agree?\" I nod, and he continues. \"Articles two through seven, all spirits will remain confined to the non-physical plane during the peak season, including all holidays, with the obvious exception of Halloween, and with the individual exception of Rufus, who haunts the basement. We feel his presence there is fitting, but he has agreed not to get ectoplasm on the maintenance men. Agree?\"\n\n\"Rufus?\" \n\n\"He likes to swing the door open as people walk by.\" \n\n\"Ah. I thought we had a draught. No, he's fine. Agreed.\" \n\n\"Article eight, on a nominated day of the year during summer, the pool will be closed to living inhabitants. Article nine, we will stop interrupting communications devices and disrupting essential services. Article ten, no further access to the first aid office will be allowed, on the condition that Pepto Bismol Ghost can sometimes join Rufus in the basement. He's a jerk, we don't like dealing with him.\" \n\n\"Fine, fine,\" I say, waving a tired hand at Albert. \"Is that it? Because I'd like to add a clause about keeping your ectoplasm to yourself. That is one hell of a stain we're going to have to clean off the wall.\" \n\nAlbert nods, and adds it to his list. \"We appear to be done, Mr Werner. Thank you for understanding.\"\n\n\"Your tie is ugly,\" I tell him as he turns to go.\n\n\"I know,\" he says. \"I'm glad we got this sorted out.\"" ]	1
	[WP] It took years, but they proved it wasn't cigarettes. It was the coolness that causes cancer.	[ "It was when my beloved Pap-Pap died that I began to do research into cigarettes and cancer. All of the doctors, Professors, and media said that they are addictive and harmful. I found that it wasn’t the smoking it was the coolness. I tested thousands of smokers and they all had the same gene that causes the cancer, I call it c001-N3ss. I thought to myself about what other non-smokers could have this chemical, so I contacted Will Smith.\n\nMe: “Mr. Smith, thank you for meeting with me.”\n\nWS: “No problem, I am always glad to help with cancer research.”\n\nMe: “What I need is a blood and saliva sample to see if you have this gene that may cause cancer, I call it c001-N3ss, what made me think of you is your work on the fresh prince and in the show business industry in general made you pretty cool.” \n\nWS: “Uhh. Sure. And if I have this gene will I get cancer?”\n\nMe: “I have no idea.”\n\nMr. Smith gave me his blood that day and he indeed had the dreaded gene. 3 years later he was diagnosed with cancer. \n\nI went to CNN, FOX and CBS to spread the word that all reletivly cool people sould get tested for this gene. \n\nIn 10 years we lost very cool people, Steven Fry, Jennifer Lawrence and most of all Steve Buscemi.\n", "Tommy sits on the side-walk of his High-school's smokers corner.\n\nHe takes his second-period puff with his cheer leading captain girlfriend. It's the quarter-back of the football team dating the beautiful cheer-leader. As cliche as you'd expect.\n\nThe corner is theirs. Even the popular kids won't mess with the coolness of Tommy-Lee and his prestigious girlfriend. \n\nThis day, a nerd walks by, accidentally stumbling in the same vicinity as Tommy-Lee. His nerd levels are as cliche as the jock and his beauty. He waddles, scrawny legs trying to support him, weak arms clenching books, and taped glass frames. Walter, is most definitely not cool.\n\n\n\"What the fuck do you think you're doing kid?\" The jock lifts his buttocks off the curbside, which is good because the cement has been causing strong-armed Tommy weekly rectal bleeding.\n\n\"I..I just need to get to..chemistry.\" Poor Walter stutters, eyes glued to pavement.\n\n\"I..I..I..Jusssst need to...chemisshtry.\" Tommy brilliantly mocks his lisp, or at least he thinks it's brilliant.\n\n\"Here's what you're going to do twer -- twer -- tw --\" Tommy can't finish his sentence. His square jaw line crumbles under the worrisome terror crossing over his face. \n\nHe takes a stress puff from the cancer-stick. \n\nHis squealing smoke riddled-breath gasps one last\"help.\" before he crumbles to the Hemorrhoid inducing curb. \n\nIt turns out tests conducted on Tommy-Lee confirmed the cancer causing agent of cigarettes was the coolness.\n\nEvery thing changed after that day. Every thing changed forever. The discovery quickly reached the social-media, the papers, the blogs, and websites. Everything is different now, especially at Tommy's old kingdom, Ridge Mount Secondary.\n\nWalking along the sidewalks of Ridge mount secondary we see a different cliche these days. The football fields have been turned to libraries, the chess club has month long wait lists, more portables were needed for applied chemistry classes, and the once prestigious smokers corner of Tommy-Lee sits a new master. There, studying on the sidewalk of unforgiving anal bleeding, the now least cool place in the entire school, where strong-jawed jocks gawk in awe, beautiful teen girls admire, and nerds smile onward, wondering, if one day, they'll be as twerpy, scrawny, nerdy, and as cancer-free by far, as the legend, hemorrhoid riddled, Walter Spack.", "I sat in my grandpa's rocking chair as I became reminiscent of the legacy he left behind. Years of smoking, and he finally kicked the bucket. I began to contemplate life, as well as the many poisons in cigarettes. Perhaps it wasn't the arson coupled with formaldehyde, but rather something... Worse.\nMy grandpa was the only person I've ever known who could rock a fedora AND wife beater at the same time. Whenever he walked into the room, it was almost as if you could hear airhorns accompanied by 12 year olds screaming \"wumbo combo.\" \n\nThat man was a genius, and Good Lord willing, I'll go out the same way he did- with hookers and cocaine.", "Joe coughed into his hoof as he walked out onto the stage, trying to keep his legs steady. ‘Keep it together Big Man, you’ve fought all your life for this.’ For many in the audience of press this was the first they had seen of the once-famous spokesman and there was a murmur of quiet conversation as he settled behind the podium. \n\n“He looks so thin…”\n\n“I remember in his hey-day…”\n\n“…never had seen him in corduroy back then…” \n\nThe words whispered up to Joe and the last ones stung, he still resented having to wear… these clothes. He cleared his throat and prepared himself, ready to come clean. “Hey there cats, how’s it…” He paused, holding up a hoof to stop himself. Speaking like that again made his chest hurt, but it had been automatic. \n\n“Ladies and gentlemen of the press, welcome and thank you for coming here today. Many of you know me from my former employment as a spokesman for a certain brand of cigarettes, but of course I have not been associated with that particular company for… some time.” \n\nThe flashes continued sporadically, but Joe ignored them, his eyes glued to the speech through the thick black rimmed glasses that covered forty percent of his face. “In the 1980s I was forced to retire due to overwhelming medical evidence that smoking was harmful and it was felt that I, as the epitome of cool, was unsuitable for a national advertising campaign.” \n\nHe leafed through the next two cards, they continued along this line, but they used many words to say one simply thing. “They were wrong.” \n\nThe murmur grew and Joe raised his voice. “Wrong about my influence and wrong, most importantly about the cause of cancer. Cigerettes, I am pleased to announce today, have no link with any harmful or negative effects.” He sighed. “But I was harming someone. Myself.” \n\nJoe clicked a slideshow to display a series of X-rays, his body, riddled with cancer. “This was not due to smoking, but due to one thing. Being cool gives you tumours.” \n\nQuestions began to be shouted but Joe held up a hoof to quiet them. “Please, ladies and gentlemen there will be time at the end for questions. What I can tell you is that I am in remission and as you can tell I have taken steps to become as uncool as possible.” \n\nJoe stepped out again to show his outfit off more clearly. Shiny white trainers fed into skinny jeans, that ended with an old looking plaid shirt. His thick rimmed glasses were topped by a flat cap, pulled low over his ace. \n\n“Looking like a dork is the only thing keeping me alive now, but with your help we can finally get research into the causes and a proper treatment!” He paused, but this time there was only an uncomfortable silence. “What?” \n\nNear the front a journalist held up her phone and handed it to him, a search showing on screen. Joe looked, puzzled. “What the hell is a hipster?” \n\nThe phone fell from his hoof as he clutched his chest as his cancer surged. The words came out painfully. \"No, when did this stuff get....\" \n\nHe pulled at the shirt, popping open the vintage buttons to expose his cravat, but it only made things worse and he fell to his knees. His eyes bulged, then rolled back for the last time. A small puddle of vaping fluid formed around his head in a halo. \n\nJoe Camel was dead. \n" ]	4
	[WP] You realize you have the ability of turning your body on autopilot and do any tasks exactly right while you watch from a 3rd person view. You set it on getting a date with a girl you like but things don't go as you expected.	[ " I had never really understood it very well, but ever since I was 16, I was just aware that there was a pool of something. It built up slowly, faster when I was doing something difficult or intense. I can still remember the first time I became aware of it, when I got into a fight with the local Bully, Soren Thompson. \n\nI can't even really remember what had started the fight; he'd wanted something from me, and for the first time I'd had the balls to stand up to him. Between homework and lunch money, he'd taken a lot from me over the years. Once, he even managed to threaten me into giving him my favorite shirt, which he promptly ripped in two.\n\nWhatever he had asked, I had decided I'd had enough. So when he approached me on the lawn outside the lunch area, said whatever asinine line about what he wanted from me, I just told him \"No\". That was when I first felt my 'meter'. It felt like an anticipation. Like the air around me was heavy and pregnant. Ponderous, waiting to give birth to whatever happened next. \n\nHe swung at me, but I sidestepped. I could have mistaken it easily for adrenaline, but the feeling moved from ponderous to downright heavy. That was when I noticed the knife come out. He pushed himself up from his stumble, and I saw the glint of sharp metal flashy way. I stumbled back, and felt a hot line on my arm. He reeled back to take another swipe, and as he did, I felt time crawling. Slowing. I was in a slow moving vehicle as six inches of flickblade pushed out towards my chest. The weight of the air around me was palpable. It was like I could grab hold of it... And I did.\n\nAt that moment, I found myself outside my body. It was quick, that moment. I collapsed, going limp like a ragdoll, but Soren kept going, right through the space I'd been occupying. He tripped on my feinted body. He went tumbling, and the flickblade meant for me found its way deep into his right eye. And then, just like that, I was back in my own body, limp and bleeding onto the grass.\n\nThe fallout hadn't been pretty, but all things considered, it was the best possible outcome from the fight. There were a few witnesses, but none had gotten a very good look at what had happened. Instead, my own wound told the story: he had come at me with a knife. Shock from the injury had made me pass out, and he had done himself in. I'd gotten stitched up, and had been asked to file a police report. I conveniently left out the out of body experience. \n\nI had been forced to talk to a shrink. I just told them that I had been so terrified that I fainted, exactly what they wanted to hear. I didn't miss him or mourn his death. To be honest i never felt a bit bad about it.\n\nAfter that, I could feel the feeling again, building any time I did something right, albeit at a painfully slow rate.\n\nAt that point I managed to fill it a second time, the meter had been full for months. The tipping point, oddly enough had been helping someone out with their groceries, which had split the bag outside the shop. I just felt the heaviness that had been building around me click, and I knew it was full. The heaviness didn't burst this time but instead resolved to a faint pulse in the back of my head, like a glowing option in a video game menu.\n\nI had all but forgotten about the slow, steady throb when it happened. I was walking back to the dorms early in the morning, and the fog was rising off the river ahead of the sunrise. I had felt the scream as much as I heard it. \"GET OFF ME\" she had said, her voice echoing dully through the hazy air from the direction of the foot bridge. I ran towards it.\n\nWhen I got there, I heard more than saw. Two people were struggling down at the edge of the river. I could feel the blood pounding behind my ears, slightly out of synch with the pulsing option. I decided that it had already saved me once in my life, what the hell. I activated it and again had an out of body experience.\n\nThis time it was different. I could feel my awareness in both places at once, and it had the disconcerting feeling of being in some kind of cinematic event. I knew I'd need something in case things turned ugly. I bent over and picked up a smooth river rock the size of a baseball and watched myself as I walked down the hill by the bridge.\n\nThe fog by the river was thick. By the time I'd gotten to the riverbank, the sounds of struggling had quieted. I watched myself pick my way across the big rocks, the s und greedily gobbled by the muffling mist. He hadn't seen me. He fumbled with something in the dark a d I heard a click, dull and mechanical. I struck him on the back of the head with the rock. He grunted but didn't go down; it takes a lot to knock someone out, turns out. I dropped the rock as he turned, and grabbed the barrel of the gun with my left hand. \n\nFrom my point of view, it was hard to spot, but I knew I had jammed my thumb down into the slot for the hammer. He stumbled and pain bloomed in my thumbnail where the heavy lump of metal struck it. I kept pulling the gun in my adrenaline rush, and he lost his balance. I didn't. He let go of the gun and tried to grab at me. I pistol-whipped him in the face with the handle as he twisted. He turned and fell into the river, but I didn't hear him struggle. there was just a splash, and then there was silence enough to hear the choked sobs.\n\nIt turned out that the woman I had saved was the Dean of the university. The guy whose body they found drifting a mile or two down the river was a student that had been recently dispelled over rape charges. I had been given a full scholarship after that, and again, I started letting it build.\n\nIt had been years since I had felt that click again, but I could never erase the memory of ending not one but two lives. It terrified me. After all, kill one bad person on accident, and it's a coincidence. Kill a second bad person, and it's a mark of heroism. Kill a third, and maybe cops think you've developed a taste for it. I couldn't deny that I felt a temptation time and again to use it. I had become desperate, and in my own fear, lonely. So I decided to do an experiment.\n\nI had been drinking at the bar time and again since I'd moved back to my alma mater's town, and I had never seen her there before, but I knew exactly who she was. I hadn't seen her for 6 years, and it had now been ten years since that early morning on the riverbank. Adeline Fuller. She was fully twenty years older than me but there was something about her. She had pushed men away ever since the incident, and I was no exclusion, but then again this was the first time meeting her outside of school. She was strong, reserved, and intellectual, and she had never remarried after the stress of the incident had destroyed her marriage, shortly before I graduated. But I had a secret weapon. Maybe. I drank some liquid courage and then turned on.\n\n\"So Adeline, fancy meeting you here,\" I said as I slid into the chair beside her. In an uncharacteristic move, she turned to me and smiled.\n\n\"Wow, 'my hero'. It's been what...\"\n\n\"Six years,\" I completed. I smiled. \"It's nice seeing you again.\"\n\n\"Yeah. So, I was wondering if you wanted, ya know, to maybe talk over a drink? Ever since... Well... I've always wondered what kind of person you were.\" I was out of body, watching myself fumble this hard. What had I been thinking? I watched myself make a dopey smile, feeling like a complete idiot and having the blush bloom across my face.\n\n\"You know, what the hell... Wanna get out of here?\" Things seemed to be going my way\n\nShe took my hand and lead me out of the bar. She kept to well lit areas, but she seemed pretty carefree for a survivor. As we walked I looked up at the stars. I looked at her.\n\n\"What would you say,\" I asked, \"if I said I had a super power?\"\n\nShe looked pensive. It had been ten years, but she smiled \"ok, I'll bite, where are you going with this?\"\n\n\"So, there's this thing. It builds in me. It builds and builds until I'm all full of it. Then it just kinda sits until I need it. The first time it burst out and a kid who had been bullying me ended up hurting himself. And the second time, I heard someone scream and... Well, you know how that turned out.\" She blanched at the mention of the incident at the bridge.\n\n\"I uh...\" She stammered. This was a bad idea... I hovered outside watching myself cock it all up. Fat super power this was. Why had I even chosen to say that?\n\n\"And both times, someone ended up dead. So, I wondered, what happens when I use it when something life changing rather than life threatening happens. And then I saw you alone over there at the bar.\" I watched as I rubbed the back of my neck.\n\n\"Well, that's a pretty interesting story there,\" she smirked. She rubbed the back of her neck too. \n\nWhere the hell was she going with this, I wondered as she looked up and spoke again. \"So, what would you say if I said I had a super power too?\" She asked, and took the curiosity on my face as a cue. \"You see, ever since that night, I've felt something building. At first I thought it was stress or fear. But on the worst night of my marriage, something in me snapped. I found myself out of body. I wouldn't let him cheat on me one more time. I threw him out on his ass like I knew I always should have... And the. It built again till tonight. When I saw you. And I thought 'what the hell'.\"\n\nI didn't know what to say. I looked up, behind me, and saw... Something... It was next to me, watching the scene play out. So I just kissed her. It was like magic.\n\n\"Wanna be my super hero?\" I asked her. She just smiled, took my hand, and we ran out into the night. It felt right. And even as I hovered outside myself, I could feel a click, and a dull pulse. Tonight would be an interesting one." ]	1
	[WP] God just created the earth. It took him 6 days to complete. On the seventh day, he rests. But God days are much longer than Earth days. When God woke up, shit hit the fan.	[ "YHVH Creation log book.\n\nDay 1: Use compressed matter to initiate \"Big Bang\" effect. Matter distributed. Triggered formation of stellar masses. Guided specific progression of stellar mass in Sector ZZ9 Plural Z A. Small yellow star should suffice for experiment.\n\nDay 2: Guided formation of planetary masses around star. Gas giants established as sweepers. 1st planet too close to primary, excluded from experiment. Specific testing will be done on 2nd, 3rd and 4th planets in system. Additional creation of large moon for 3rd planet. 2 small moons for 4th.\n\nDay 3: Complete cloud cover established on 2nd and 3rd planets, however 2nd appears to be developing runaway \"greenhouse\" effect. Abandoned and inverted for now. 3rd planet landmasses seeded with plants. Growing as predicted. 4th planet does not hold onto cloud cover, will set aside planet for later experiments.\n\nDay 4: Opened cloud cover to make sun, moon and stars visible from 3rd planet's surface. Additional stellar radiation seems to have a positive effect on plant life.\n\nDay 5: Basic animal life added. Started with simple forms in seas. Complex life seemed to develop easily there, some intelligence shown in some mammalian forms.\n\nDay 6: Guided development for life onto land and air. Initial success with reptillian forms, but not sustainable long term. Mammals worked well in the sea and worked even more so on land. Guided one branch of mammal to sentience. They have taken on an appearance not too dissimilar to my own. After a brief experiment with a binary pair, decided to grant the \"humans\" dominion over the planet and let the experiment run on its own for now.\n\nDay 7: Took the day off.\n\nDay 8: Well that was a mistake. These humans are terrible. The mess they have made of things in my day off is almost too much to bear. Their behavior was atrocious and just...unspeakable. One human's extended family seems acceptable to proceed, but the rest will have to go. ", "\"I need status reports now! Gabriel? Where is Gabriel?!\" God demanded as he stepped back into the Situation Cloud. The Angels present were abuzz with activity and all seemed stressed, but their attitudes changed once God appeared. Mixtures of glee, relief and hope showed across their faces. It had been eons since God appeared before anyone.\n\n\"It's you! It's truly, truly you!\" One Angel said with immense joy as God made his way to the Command Chair; a large black cloud-leathe chair fashioned to be the most comfortable seat in existence.\n\n\"Not now Rahmiel. Someone get me Gabriel! And shut that Me-forsaken machine off!\" God cried out in response to the non-stop beeping that had been echoing throughout Heaven without end. \n\n\"B-but the Prayer Machine- You said to keep it on at all costs so that you could respond to your followers' needs! There's currently... Ah, this might be many digits for us but for your Omnipotence it should be fine. Humanity has come up with over-\"\n\n\"Forget it! Shut. It. Down.\" God demanded, he spoke with power and his words made their demand upon the machine. The machine instantly acknowledged the power of God and shut down. For a moment, all Angels across Heaven collectively sighed in relief. One tall and decorated Angel in particular flew through the Situation Cloud, past all the machines, computers, aides and desks and stood at attention in front of God.\n\n\"Angel Gabriel humbly at your command My Lord.\" He said as he bowed. Tears welled up in his eyes from the joy of reuniting with his creator.\n\n\"I need a status update Gabriel. What's happening? I took one day off and Heaven is chaotic! I even have missed calls from Satan and when I try to reach him it won't connect!\"\n\n\"Yes, well, sire, Satan was overthrown in Hell long ago. Apparently a coalition of the most brutal Humans managed to take him out. Hell is their personal playground now.\"\n\nGod raised a hand to his throbbing head. Satan taken out by some Humans? Unbelievable. What was that sadistic pyrophiliac thinking?\n\n\"What about Earth? Every time I try to access Earth's servers I get the worst headache. It's almost as bad as that sleepwalking incident with that Moses figure.\"\n\n\"Yes, well about that. Currently the Earth is inhabited by nearly 8 Billion humans of many races and cultures.\" Gabriel said. God's face blanched. \n\n\"That's ridiculous. It should be higher. Earth has the capacity to sustain much more than that.\"\n\n\"Yes well, not all are living equally my Lord. I'm transferring the data now.\" Within a millisecond, the information shot through the Situation Cloud and was received by God.\n\n\"Why are there people starving?! Why are some people so rich and others have nothing?! Why do they waste so much? What is a McDonald's?!\" \n\n\"Most likely Greed sire. Most Humans only think of themselves and their own, and are not concerned with the affairs of others as long as it does not affect them.\"\n\n\"WHAT?\" God boomed, causing a few Angels to shed feathers in shock.\n\"How many religions and messengers have I sent to them to tell them to do good deeds? What have they been doing all this time?\"\n\nGabriel lowered his eyes for a moment. \"They, uh. Well recently Religion has been a major cause of conflict and war for Humans. I'll send you data on the Crusades and War on Terror now.\" Again the Cloud blinked and again God's head throbbed.\n\n\"WHY ARE THEY KILLING EACH OTHER. NO! NO!\" God yelled to himself. An Angel whimpered from across the Cloud.\n\"NO NO NO NO. WHAT PART OF DON'T KILL DO YOU NOT GET?\" With a final outburst that shook the Heavens God finally calmed down.\n\n\"So, what has Humanity accomplished that is worth saving their species. I worked so hard for 6 days to create their living conditions and it took them 1 to make me regret it all. So, Gabriel, show me one thing that will make me consider letting them continue to exist.\"\n\nGabriel took a deep breath. The souls of billions rested on his shoulders.\n\n\"Here sire, look at this.\" He approached with his cellular phone out. \n\n\"Hmm? What is it? A cartoon ant eater?\"\n\n\"Yes, they're called memes.\" Gabriel handed over the phone to God. Within it's memory was every single successful meme ever created by Humankind.\n\n\"You can't assume that some pictures with a couple lines of Human dialogue would make.. me.. consider..\" God began to say, his words slowing down as he digested each meme he read. Gabriel stood behind him hoping for the best.\n\n\"No one questions why the frog is on a unicycle?\" God asked after a moment of silence.\n\n\"No sire, that's part of the point. You don't necessarily have to explain anything when it comes to memes.\"\n\n\"O shit waddup.\" God replied as he continued scrolling through. After some time passed, God put the phone on his counter and looked up.\n\n\"Well, just like John Cena I did not see this coming. For now, Humanity has avoided being like Bad Luck Brian and will be able to continue to exist. You know, it's for this very type of low quality entertainment that I created dat boi Adam and started Humanity to begin with you know.\"\n\n\"Well in that case sire, allow me to point you to a few other of Humanity's embarrassments- err creations.\" Gabriel responded. A few more Angels flew over with more cellphones. They were labeled '4-Chan', 'Anime n other weaboo trash', 'League of Legends' and 'Tumblr + SJW memories'.\n\n\"That's quite a lot to go through.\" God responded as the cellphones were placed on his desk.\n\n\"Indeed.\" Gabriel responded. \"But I suspect this won't be the end of it.\"\n\nGod nodded as he reached for one of the phones.\n\n\"I can dab to that.\"\n\n" ]	2
	[WP] You're a mod for the IRC, or the Inter-dimensional Relay Chatroom. You've had a rough day.	[ "\"I just don't understand these clients anymore,\" said the Mod Gonzo as his crackling, robotic voice echoed through the room of the Discordia Lounge.\n\n\"Just get used to it, kiddo,\" as the Eldest One continued to water his lawn by the strange, otherworldly retirement home, \"We all have to deal with the young'uns now and again.\n\nThe Eldest One lied back onto the grass and stared up into the text-lit sky. Flashes of characters and phrases were all scrawled together into a beautifully-etched quilt of profanities and puns, illuminating the night. Gonzo sighed and continued to play with his dice in the middle of the Eldest One's lawn.\n\n\"Get the hell off my lawn,\" said the old man.\n\n\"It's just getting so hard, you know?\" Gonzo continued, \"Just this morning I walked into the usual pound-word channel and all I saw was a bunch of idiots spamming 'tisastick++' over and over again. It was awful.\"\n\nThe Eldest One pulled out his dinosaur hands and manhandled the bot-mod off the lawn and into the riverside. As the bot-mod began to speak, the Eldest One saw a butterfly float behind him, beckoning him to pull out his Hammer of Banishment to smite the pest. Thus, went the Eldest One into the night's horizon, swinging around a fifty-ton hammer as old as himself.\n\nThe Mod Gonzo hummed to himself when he saw her walking by the riverside. She with her deep, blue eyes and lovely tone was walking towards his way. The sight of her always brought a bright light into the young mod's mechanical heart.\n\nHe waved at her, \"Prompty! It's good to see you again-\"\n\nAnd then the river slammed up against the fellow mod and swept her away into the sea, far far away from the land of the Inter-dimensional Relay Chatroom and into the depths of coded nothingness.\n\nA red-haired fellow minding his own business came up to Gonzo, \"Well, hey. How're you doing today, Gonzo?\"\n\n\"Fuck off, Rawr.\"" ]	1
	[WP] You return home from work and turn on the TV, only to see in the news that scientists have confirmed that the sun went out, but due to its distance from earth, we still have 8 minutes left before we actually witness it here on earth.	[ "\nIt had been a pretty rough day at work. Idiot customers asking stupid questions, running back and forth to fulfill mundane and menial tasks, the works. I had finally made it home from this nightmare and decided that I would spend the evening relaxing with video games. I plopped down onto the couch and turned on my Xbox, then the TV. I was about to switch the input to \"HDMI 1\" but stopped when I heard the dreaded Emergency Broadcast System tone. My blood ran cold. The screen then cut to a color bar then to a newsroom with a stressed and nervous news anchor. The words I heard hit like bullets. The sun had died. Was that even possible? only 8 minutes of sunlight left globally? I hazarded a look out my window, the sun hanging low in the afternoon sky. \n\nIt didn't take long for the sun to look wrong. In just the two minutes that I had been sitting on my porch, it had dulled, black spots slowly eating away at the precious light. It was bizzare in its beauty. The orange and pink afternoon sky a beautiful climax to the last sunset on Earth. Then, almost like nightfall, the last rays of sunlight went out and the Earth was dark. I still was in awe. Turning on the TV wasn't a help either. It was all stories of riots and crime sprees city, state, nation, and worldwide. It remained this way for the first few days, then the power went out. No one was at the power stations. \n\nI had not experienced darkness like the next few weeks in my entire life. The moon no longer shined in the night sky, only stars dimly lit the dead neighborhood. Then it got colder. I remember hearing stories of how it had snowed in Hollywood and how global warming wasn't really a thing anymore. Months passed. Years. Funny how you don't really notice how much you need something until it's gone..", "\"Well, the sun-killer worked.\" The scientist says, \"Now all we need is to find a way to use it on somebody else's sun!\" \n\"Maybe we should've thought of that before firing it.\" The grizzled government official responded grouchily. \n\"Well, how else were we supposed to test it?\" \n\nI look up outside my window at the crowd of people with their phones pointed into the sky, ready to capture the moment the sun goes out forever.\n\n\"Man, imgur is gonna suck for the next few days.\" I grumble to myself.", "This morning I come in from work sweaty, hot and exhausted. I toss my keys on the kitchen table and jump in the shower.\n\nAs water is streaming down my face and steam is hugging me tightly I go over the events of the night.. what went down, what went wrong, who did I meet, what could I have done better, what do I want to do for the rest of my life.\n\nI have a terrible habit of staying in the shower for far longer than is optimal for my skin.\n\nAfter washing up, I dry off with a Mickey Mouse towel.. I throw the towel in the floor and walk around my bathroom naked. Not that i'm vulgar or indecent but it feels good to sometimes wind down.. to forget about it all.. to be free.\n\nI get ready to brush my teeth and make my way into the living room.. I set the house alarm and turn on the TV.. the first channel that pops up is CNN.\n\nThe headlines say, well you know what they said.\n\nMany scientists, experts and NASA employees are being interviewed about \"What's next?\". The new found enthusiasm and willingness to meet with the nations of North Korea, Iran and Russia is.. odd really. The candidates for president are still running their sleazy ad campaigns and are rambling on about who's better.. you know: \"He may have a spaceship, but I can get you there in one peace\" sort of talk.. you can guess who said that one.\n\nPersonally though, I don't think anything is next. We're all dead anyways.\n\nThe academics with their nice shiny degrees from Harvard and Columbia all beg to differ.\n\nI'm sure that degree from Princeton will work out nicely when we're all in the streets starving to death, hungry and searching for food.. when blood showers. When blood is more common than rain.\n\nI quickly find myself in a daze.. what's next? I ask myself.. what will become of me, what will become of my family, what will become of civilization?\n\nMonths of watching Deep Web Exploration videos have taught me many things, one of which is short, simple and not so sweet.\n\nWe're all animals, we're savages.. we're monsters. Thirsting for the next kill, lusting for the thrill of the hunt.. the next drop of blood, we praise it.. It's why slashers are so popular.\n\nWhat a man will not do when there are no barriers to break and no more boundaries to cross.. when there is no police, no government, no one to stop him from dominating, conquering and spilling blood.\n\nWe have 8 minutes before each and every ray of beautiful sunlight is stricken from the Earth.. i'm not a religious man but that part in the bible about how the living will envy the dead, for they have peace.. it seems we now understand the enigma and open-to-interpretation manner that that book is written in.\n\nThere isn't much more we can do.. the politically correct plan is to wait for our local and state government to come out with a detailed plan to evacuate.. or huddle us into concentration camps in an effort to curb the chaos and madness that will soon erupt.\n\nThe unofficial plan in everyone's mind now is.. there will be a power struggle, there will be panic and chaos..\n\n\"Buy when there's blood in the streets\" my grandfather always said" ]	3
	[WP] A demon falls in love with you.	[ "After the end, what left to do but wander? A journey through the lands, through the fallen kingdoms of the western men. The walls once rose into the skies, the towers once overlooked the propserous lands, but great wars had men waged against one another and driven one another into the arms of death, leaving the palaces and the walls and the towers destroyed, mere landmarks of an older time. \n\nMany people had fled from the war, to the east or the south, but many more had stayed, fighting on in their insatiable bloodlust, or simply unwilling to leave home. I, too, had been swept up in that rage. Time and time again we burned down our kingdoms, killing all in our path, until all we were left with, was ruins. At the end, when the few remaining victors looked upon our fallen lands with despair, many fell upon their sword, few fled, and only I remained, unwilling to abandon my home, unwilling to leave my sins behind. In hindsight, the reason for the wars of our destruction seemed so pathetic, so unworthy.\n\nOnce more I wandered through the City of the Thousand Spires. More blood than anywhere had been spilled here. The cries of the fallen still rung throughout the city, echoing forever, cursing all those who entered. Or perhaps, those were not the fallen, but merely the demons that had infested these lands, drawn by the bloodshed. Though I had wandered long, I did not know for sure. Wherever these demons were though, they stayed away, merely howling in the distance.\n\nSo I thought. As night fell, I made camp in the old palace of the Silver King, one of my oldest enemies, though he now slept in his family crypt. The roof had collapsed, leaving an open view of the starry sky. As I fell asleep, the old dreams started. A strange woman haunted me in my dreams, always hiding behind my enemies and puppeteering them. I fought once more against the Silver King, though now in my dreams, and as I cut him down, the woman fled. As I returned to home, I returned to find it burning. Then, I woke up.\n\nThe dreams continued. Always another old enemy, always the same woman behind it all, always returning to find my home destroyed. In one such dream I defeated my foe quickly and caught the woman before she could flee. I was strongly tempted to close my hands around her throat and choke the life out of her, but when I looked into her eyes and I saw the pleading look, I felt my strength slip away. I had seen that look so many times before... I let her go and let her run. I watched her flee with shaking hands.\n\nThe next night she returned, but she merely stood on the sidelines while the battle raged in my dreams. When I was done, I came to her and we spoke, until the sun rose again and it was time to awake. I asked her if she was a figment of my imagination or a demon. She laughed with such a wicked smile I knew which one. But that wicked smile, it was a beautiful one. I couldn't stay away.\n\nThe next night, we spoke again. After that, again. Every night we would speak after the battle, spending all of our time together until When I was wounded on the battlefield of my dreams, she healed me. When I despaired, she comforted me. I listened to her stories and indeed, comforted her too when she despaired, for the path of a demon was a lonesome one. She had wandered across the realm of dreams, jumping from person to person, but never strong enough to remain indefinitely. It was strange, but I grew to love the woman in my dreams. What did she feel though? I asked her to visit my outside of my dreams, and with her wicked smile she nodded.\n\nWhen I awoke, she laid next to me. She never returned to my dreams after that, staying besides me in the physical world. After that, I began hoping, perhaps for the first time, that I could perhaps rebuild my home, so I set aside my sword and worked hard with the sons and daughters she bore me. Though it would be a long journey, for the first time, I had faith." ]	1
	[WP] You are living your day quietly, until you become very nauseous and start seeing flashbacks. Flashbacks of different lives you've had at different times in history	[ "It was just a bag of ramen. Why does my stomach feel so terrible? It's something that I have eaten everyday since I was a kid. Maybe that is it. \n\nI notice the office has a lot of flies today. Cleaners must have opened up the windows. I turn to the left to confirm my suspicions. I am...wrong. Wait. This isn't my 5x5 office. What...what happened to my computer screen? \n\nI hear a yell. \"Get up.\" I look around. Wait. Where's Janine? This...this looks like a cell... \"GET UP!\" I try to follow the order but..thud.\n\nI come to...but I'm in my office. How? \n\n\"Tommy, are you ok?\" I can't even reply. Janine is standing there, calmly looking on. \"You look like you have just seen....\" She falls over. The flies....they're not flies at all...\n\nI run to the window....the city...its in flames. But why? What is going on? Wait. What am I wearing? My suit...its....why am I wearing a British army uniform?\n I run to my desk. Loud shouts. Bangs. I'm disoriented. Can't figure out what's going on. Wait...voices outside. German maybe? The sound of clicking can be heard. I stare into the doorway.....shi....\n\n\"Tommy! I asked for that report hours ago. What is taking so long?!\" I look at my boss. Words don't even come to me... I look down. There's a hole in my stomach. But nobody notices but me. \"...Tommy? You don't look so good. Maybe you should go home and rest. I'll have Janine finish it up.\" I weakly nod in affirmation and gather my things. My suit is still on. Just as I had left the house this morning. \n\nI get to the door and open it. Man, it's heavier than I remember, I think to myself. Wait, it's only May. Why is so hot outside? I look down. My shoes. They're not my shoes. Sandles. And....sand? Someone is yelling. Some language that I have never heard. Something about Ra? I can't make it out. The heat...its making me hear this loud buzzing noise.... and the sun....its getting brighter.... \n\n\"The experiment was not a complete failure. The neuro-scan shows that he can travel through the memories of his ancestors but time does not stand still for him whilst he is doing so.\"\n\"That would explain why he walked into oncoming traffic.\"\n\"It would seem that way. Fix him up. And continue the testing.\"\n", "It's a beautiful Sunday afternoon and I'm sitting in my favorite chair and me and my wife are about to watch Whatever Netflix has to offer.\n\n\"John honey, can I get you anything from\nThe kitchen? I'm gonna make a couple of those big bag BLT's we like.\"\n\n\" Woo! Thanks Betty boo, you know I really fuckin' lov.......\"\n\nSuddenly I throw up in my mouth and start to spin out, I hit the ground pretty hard. I lie there for a minute before I try and get up, wondering to myself why hasn't Betty come to check on me, I smashed the glass on the floor didn't I? But there's no glass here. Hmm. I pull myself up and look over at the tv. Or where the t.v should be. Instead there's a couple of old wooden chairs and a fireplace that looks older than anything I've ever seen, even at the old county fairs. Above it is a banner of red, black and gold. A lions head and a sword.\n\nA knock at the door. \n\n\" Sir William! Are you in? Have you forgotten of our jousting today? \" \n\nWhat the.... Did I hit my head harder than I thoug....\n\n\" Will! It's me Tris! Open up you fool, just because you're a knight now doesn't mean you can ignore your ol' buddy!\"\n\nAnd without knowing what the bloody hell is going me on I prod on over towards the old wooden door. With a rack next to it. Containing swords.\n\n\" Um, hi Tris. Sorry I'm feeling a bit slow this morning. What's going on?\"\n\n\" Well aren't you talking proper now that you're a knight! Watch out King Uther, you've a new knight about that will be harrying at all your hand maidens!\"\n\n\"Haha\"\nWait did he say King Uther? Uther Pendragon? What is happening... Well might as well give this a shot.\n\n\"Say Tris I'm feeling a bit off today, do you think you could escort me to see Merlin?\"\n\n\"Well you must be feeling poorly, Merlins been gone for a month now, taken our young king to be into the wild to instill into him some kingly knowledge\"\n\nWow, I'm in the most lucid dream ever and I'm in King Arthur's time! I wonder how long before...\n\n\" Come on Will I'll take you to see ole Morgana she'll sort you out right good\" \n\n\"Umm, not sure if that's the best idea?\"\n\n\" Why the bloody 'ell not? No I'm definitely taking you, you're starting to scare me now! How will I become a knight like you if you don't teach me how to fight!\"\n\n\"Yes. Yes you're right, let's be on with it then.\"\n\nI was truing to stay as calm as possible but my mind was racing with the possibilities of what was happening to me, what I could do here.\n\nWas I a member of the Knights of the round.\n\nIs this a flashback? Am i....\n\n\"John honey? Can you hear me? John! John!\"\n\n\"Urgh, huh, Tristan?\"\n\n\" John please it's me Betty\"\n\n\"Huh, Betty..Betty sorry I was having the most vivid dream I...\"\n\n\" Come on big guy were gonna get you to the hospital, Ambulance is on its way.\" \n\n\" Ambulance?! How long was I out?\" \n \n\" long enough for me to panic.\" \n\nSo the ambulance came and they asked me all the standard questions on the way to the hospital. I haven't told anybody what happened yet. I'm about to go in for my MRI to make sure everything's fine.", "I walk down the solid oak stairs of my split level dwelling, descending to the basement as I do every morning. As I enter the dimly lit room, I always take in the beautiful light that seeps in from the small basement window. It ever so gently illuminates the pictures from loved one's that have now passed, their tender memories making up most of my decor. The light is always just enough for me to make my coffee and enjoy the calm before the clamor of the day. I start to pour the grounds into the coffee filter but I am interrupted by a sudden bout of nauseousness.\n\nIt takes over and I quickly retreat to the couch, fearing that I may fall over. It continues to linger and my vision ceases to correct itself. I sit on the couch, head resting in my palms, elbows digging into my thighs, as I fight to gain composure. It feels futile as it progresses. I begin to sweat profusely and my body trembles with chills. Now, pressure is mounting in my head, threatening to forcefully extract my eyeballs. I let out a gasp for air, hoping deep breathes would soothe the pain and calm my anxiety. No such luck. Then, it happens.\n\nAll the pain I was feeling slips away as my head shoots up like a man possessed with a demon. I sit in perfect posture, staring at a blank wall. Then my vision gently blackens, tapering off like the dramatic dimming of lights at a play between scenes, the meek darkness takes over. Then color explodes into my eyes, rushing in like a funnel of fireworks flowing towards me and quickly dissipating out of my line of sight. The vibrant colors begin to settle and a vivid picture comes out of distortion, as clear as day. All this happening as my body sits, motionless on my basement couch.\n\nMy mouth agape as I take in an unknown memory that now consumes my vision. As a movie goer taking in a sentimental moment, I too, am a spectator watching something unfold right before my eyes. A young man sits working on a hot piece of iron. He does not just resemble me, he looks identical to me in every way. As he continues to mend and bend the beginning stages of what looks to be a sword, every second that passes, I am for certain this man is past version of myself. He hammers away methodically, each impact with true purpose. He briefly stops, eyeing his creation, making sure every angle is precisely to his liking. \n\nAs I watch, I can feel warm tears seep down my cheeks. This is not a hallucination, the detail is way too overwhelming. The moment is tender and profound, prolific as it changes my whole perception on how I view life and death. Before I can indulge in the miracle that has graced my presence, the realization of my own tears snaps me out of the dreamlike flashback. I sit, mouth still in open in awe, staring at the blank wall. Tears gently drop onto my couch. \n\nI start to pray, gently kneeling down onto the ground. My head resting on the soft carpet near my coffee table.\n\nI wish you were here darling... You would have loved to hear about this one. ", "I hear a crash and the last thing I see is the floor coming to meet me, and in an instant I am in a theatre. I am in pain, I recognise that, and the blood leaking from my head, the way it pooled on the wooden planks. I hear cries of \"Mr. President!\" and that is that.\n\nI wake up in my bed. \"Just another nightmare\" I tell myself, but that saying has become so familiar I don't believe that anymore.\n\nThis all began 8 years ago. I was in Rome on a school trip, and we were in a Roman theatre. Then it started. I got that weird feeling in my stomach, a pain in my back, a sharp stab you could say.\n\n[WIP]", "I sit down on the chair, thoughts of what had been happening still fresh in my mind. \n\n“What the hell is going on” I asked myself, “why am I seeing these things? I don't understand.”\n\nIt started on a Thursday. As I lay in bed after another excruciating day in the office I began to experience a feeling come over me, like a wave of nauseous adrenaline. My extremities began to shake, my eyes begin to flicker and everything fades to black.\n\nSuddenly I'm not myself. \n\nI open my eyes ad I'm somewhere else, someone else. I'm in another life. I look at my hands, my clothes and my surroundings, trying to understand what is going on. My heart races and as I stare at the open countryside around me. I'm alone, in an open field. There are no roads, no buildings and no people. My clothes feel primitive and old fashioned, stained with blood, dirt and god knows what else. In the silent countryside air I hear a loud, thunderous sound drawing closer. I'm not sure what the sound is, it's like nothing I've ever experienced, even in the hustle and bustle of London. I don't now why, but I instinctively know the sound heading in my direction is bad and I bolt for the nearest woodland for cover. As I run it suddenly becomes clear that the noise is a stampede of men on horseback, charging in my direction. As they draw closer I see their expression as my head turns over my shoulder; they're angry and charging for me. I try to out run them, but just as I reach the edge of the woodland I feel a sharp, almighty pain in my chest. I fall to my knees, slumped at an almost perfect forty five degree angle. I look down and see a crude, spear like metal length protruding straight through my chest dug into the ground. The pain intensifies, then stops. I feel cold and euphoric. I shut my eyes and accept my bizarre fate.\n\nI opened my eyes and I was home, in my London flat. Six hours had passed, I was covered in sweat and vomit. I sat up and felt a pain in my chest, where the spear had penetrated my flesh. I unbuttoned my shirt and to my horror found a large, rounded scar.\n\n“What the fuck?!” I screamed in disbelief. “What the hell is going on?!”. I spent the entire evening on the internet, desperate to find any kind of explanation for what had happened to me. I came across an interesting article about seeing visions of your past lives, but thee were all people who had only had 'visions' – I was there, I lived for a brief time in history. \n\nOver the days that followed I tried to tell myself that everything was fine and it was all in my head, until I was sat at my work desk. I felt the same wave flow through my body, I instantly panic. As I run through the office screaming for help I'm transported to another world.\n\nI wake up to the sound of a woman, “Oh Edward, that was amazing!” she panted heavily. I lay in a bed, with fine, luxury silk bedding. The woman is naked and grinning at me, eagerly awaiting a response. I stare at her blankly, stand up and look out of the window, I see what appears to be a Victorian world. Factories, horse drawn carts, children begging for money, streets filled with top hats and frilly dresses. I turn to the woman who has by now stood up, angrily she approaches me “how dare you walk away from me, you rude man!”, a harsh slap across the face quickly follows her words. She grabs her belongings and leaves. I walk around my surroundings, examining every item within the room, taking in every sight. I see my clothes; Edwards clothes on the floor and begin to get dressed. I assume Edward is a wealthy gentleman, I deem his clothes as well made for the era. I find a pouch of money within the coat pocket and make my way to the door.\n\nAs I leave the house and enter the streets the first thing that overwhelms me is the smell. A thick smog fills the lungs, almost burning with every breath. Narrow streets are filled to the brim with people, the hustle and bustle reminds me of a modern day London. As I walk I can't help but notice the looks people are giving me. They stare at me in an unpleasant manner. I try to smile back politely, however this doesn't work and they merely scowl at me further. Murmurings and mutterings can be heard, although I can't hear what they are saying. I turn down a side street to try and avoid any further upset but end up reaching a dead end. As I turn back around I'm greeted by a unpleasant sight of three men standing in front of me. I politely say hello and try to walk past, however without any words they block my path. \n\n“Hello, Edward. Fancy seeing you here”, grinned one of the men. He was smaller than the other two, with scraggly brown hair and ad teeth. “Bet you don't remember me do you? I'll bet you don't remember any of us?”\n\nBy this point I'm visibly terrified, the panic must have bee visible in my eyes. What was I meant to respond with? I didn't know these men and they could tell. I stared silently, for what felt like an hour until the second male spoke.\n\n“You rich people are all the same, you don't care about us!”\n\n“No, no, I do”, I responded without thinking.\n\n“Then what are our names, Edward?” repeated the first male.\n\n“I - I don't know”. No sooner had the words left my mouth than man who hadn't spoken had hit me in the face. The others started repeatedly punching me, I lay as a crumpled mess on the floor. What felt like a lifetime was over in seconds. As the three men ran off as fast as they had beaten me I noticed my money pouch had been taken. In anger I stood up, clutching my stomach in pain and shouted “heathens!”. Heathens? What the hell was that all about?! Am I talking like Edward now as well? I dusted myself off and wiped the blood from my face, I turned around and to my horror the first man was stood in front of me,wearing a large open mouth smile. Our eyes met and he lunged forward and a sharp burning sensation was felt immediately in my stomach. The man runs again as I fall to the floor, but this time there is no getting up. I look down at my stomach with my hands covered in blood, I'm breathing heavily and again, everything fades to black. \n\nI woke up six days later in a hospital bed, I'm hooked up to all kinds of machinery. I immediately look at my stomach and find another scar, exactly where the knife had been driven into my stomach. I was calmer this time, but I had more questions. Why was I going back in time to the moment my previous lives had ended?\n\nIn the space of 12 months I visit 5 more past lives, each one nearing their end, however with each experience I seem to exist for longer and longer within my previous life. With each ending brings a new scar to my body, how could this be happening? I document my experiences and try to piece together who I am. I search libraries, the internet, anywhere trying to find a link to who I was. The more frequent the episodes become, the more I become a sheltered recluse, desperate to understand what is going on. Doctors, spiritualists, religious figures, ghost hunters, clairvoyants, no one can help, no one can explain. I just look crazy. The last time it happened was six weeks ago, I now find myself waiting in anticipation. \n\nI sit down on the chair, thoughts of what had been happening still fresh in my mind. \n\n“What the hell is going on” I asked myself, “why am I seeing these things? I don't understand.”\n\nI feel the wave of nausea encompass my entire being, faster than before. I open my eyes, curious to see where and who I was. I knew wherever I was I wouldn't be here for long, I had to find as much evidence as I could to help continue my search into the unknown. \n\nTo my horror I recognise my surroundings. I am home.", "In my mid-twenties I had the most unusual experience. I had an episode that felt like I was living the lives of different people. Although at the same time I somehow knew these people were all me; like we live in a multiverse or something and I'm a freak that could experience their lives as vividly as mine.\n\n“It was such a surreal experience. I really can't describe it, Doc.”\n\nI was sitting on a cushy recliner, just as you'd expect from a shrink’s office. Doctor Mathers was my therapist for twenty odd years. He was a short bald man with a very dark tan.\n\n“Now, Derrick, I told you to elaborate whenever you recall a memory.” Dr. Mathers tapped a finger which I presumed was impatience. “And don't worry Derrick, I'm tapping on my clipboard because I'm fascinated with what you need to say.”\n\n“You really are the best, huh? It's creepy that you can read my thoughts.” I felt the aura of his grin pull on my standing neck hairs. “Well, it's like I described last session. I have flashbacks of different people's lives. All sorts of folk from different times and different parts of the world.\n\n“For instance, the first memory I recalled was of a man that was just about to make love with his wife. I think he had kids because I could hear their laughter in the next room ov——”\n\n“Hold on, Derrick,” Dr. Mathers interrupted, “I have to point out that we did rule out schizophrenia in the last session you mentioned. I came to the conclusion that you have a normal worldview and you seem to function normally in society—for a writer. But I do have to say that I will not rule anything out in my diagnosis based on additional findings in this session. Now, please continue.”\n\nI sighed with exaggeration, “Alright, where was I… Ah, yes. The next memory was of a kid. He got beat up by his brother because he talked back with a lot of lip. The kid was a geek and he knew it, but he still said whatever he wanted. He got hit hard and hit his head on the edge of a desk. I'm not sure if he survived, but does it really matter? I mean, it was all in my head, right? Well, at least it feels like it was, now that I’m here talking to you about it.\n\n“After the kid, it got really dark. It was a soldier fighting in World War 1. He experienced shock especially because his entire squad died from an arty shell. He had a brief moment of clarity in helping his commanding officer defend their trench, but in the end, he got murdered from an enemy bayonet.\n\n“The next memory I remember is really boring. It was a man meditating. I'm not sure what was happening but I think he was on drugs because he was hallucinating big time. I saw all sorts of things like flowers and stars and white splotches against a black background.\n\n“My most recent memory is of a man in thirteenth century Japan fighting against the Mongol invasion. He fought hard and even managed to board a Mongol ship. But he wasn't prepared for the enemy's firearms and so he died heroically.\n\n“Hey, Doc. You with me?” I asked Dr. Mathers. I thought he fell asleep.\n\n“Yes, of course, Derrick. I'm a professional. I'm not about to fall asleep.” He paused. He always paused before he was going to tell me something profound. “Look. Your stories sound, interesting, but, I think they should be put on paper, and not, hmm...” Dr. Mathers stuttered. He never did so for the past ten sessions. “I don’t think your stories should be told to others as if they're your memories. Now, I've never stammered with my words before, and you know that, so I will reassure you that I am being completely honest with my advice. Do not repeat your stories to others as your... alternative life experiences. That said, it seems like your memories focus on either sex… or death.”\n\nDr. Mathers never spoke with severity either, but his words were crystal clear.", "This Saturday was the most common Saturday I ever lived, I woke up at 9, got prepared and came to the market to buy groceries. When I got home, though, I felt nauseous, my head started to hurt and my vision became blurry. When I reopened my eyes, I realized I was not in my flat anymore. I was kissing that girl I liked in high school, which was weird because that didn’t happened for real, then I felt the same and the surroundings changed again, I was in my forties with that girl that became my wife and 3 children running around me. Then the nauseous feeling came back and I reopened my eyes and I was back in my flat.\n\nMy heart was racing and I was out of breath by what just happened, whatever it was. What was that? I’m in my late twenties and single but I swear it was me and my memories as well. But here I am again in my flat.\n\nAnd suddenly, the nauseous feeling, the headache and the blur came back suddenly, and here I was again, back somewhere in my past, and this time I think I was in 5th or 6th grade when my friend was taunting me for not going on a skateboard. In my life, I was pissed for being called a pussy, I got on the skateboard and ended up breaking my collarbone. But in this vision, I resisted and did not fall. Nauseous feeling again and here I am on a podium, with a golden medal around my neck, in a stadium full of people, listening the commentator saying I won the Olympic gold medal in Archery and just after listening to the national anthem. In this vision, I didn’t have to give up archery because of my broken collarbone. And back in my flat.\n\nWhat was happening? Is it something I ate? Is this sorcery? A curse? How can I solve this? While I was thinking, I felt nauseous again.\n\nThis time I was back in prep class, talking to this toxic girl I dated during that time. I am breaking up with her because I have to concentrate on my courses, because I don’t love her anymore and because she’s been a bitch and it’s not worth dating her anymore. New nauseous feeling, and here I am, graduating MIT. New nauseous feeling and back to my place.\n\nAre these visions possibilities I had but never happened because of my choices? How long will it last? I don’t want to have regrets and I don’t want it to last. But then, the biggest headache, nauseous feeling and blur occurred.\n\nIt opened my eyes for the last time and I saw them, or rather, I saw me, 3 more times. The father’s one, the champion’s one and the MIT’s one, all in front of me, looking as scared as me and trying to understand.\n\n“Hello other mes, I said\n\n-Hi! Hello! Hi\n\n-Do you have any ideas what the fuck is going on? I asked\n\n-Not at all” they said, as one\n\nWe tried to understand during a couple of minutes before giving up. When then started to talk about our lives. How the previous choices affected our lives without thinking about it.\n\n“I’m the least successful one among you, I said\n\n-There is always a hidden part between “success”, said the archer\n\n-Indeed, and success is just a way of seeing things\n\n-Even so! You are an Olympic Champion, you are an MIT engineer and you have a wonderful wife and 3 nice kids.\n\n-You don’t know anything, because my wife is cheating on me and we’ll divorce soon, moreover, my job is depressing even if I earn a lot, said the father.\n\n-I didn’t see Mom when she was ill, I was too busy preparing for the Olympics, and she died before I could her again, and that’s my biggest regret.\n\n-And me, yes, I’m an engineer MIT but those years were difficult, and I’m single and sad.\n\n-What are you trying to tell me? That it’s me the most successful?\n\n-No, we’re just trying to tell you to forget your regrets. You lived the way you lived, with little highs and little lows. You didn’t marry this girl, thus you didn’t get hurt when you learnt she was cheating on you, and you don’t despise your job. You broke your collarbone and didn’t end up Olympic champion, but you were with Mom when she died. You didn’t go to MIT because of this girl, but you learnt a plenty of lessons with her, for example, you know what type of girl to avoid.\n\n-You know he’s right, actually we’re right, and you can’t tell what will be your future, but grieving what could have been your life won’t lead you anywhere. We think you should go on, Success Us.\n\nSuddenly, the headache, the nauseous feeling and the blurry vision came back, and they disappeared. I was panting, sweating and my heart was racing. Was all that real or was it a hallucination?\n\nWhatever it was, I considered they were right, and from this day, I decided I would only look into the future, not in the past.\n" ]	7
	[WP] Unbeknownst to you, your coworker is completely unable to understand sarcasm/exaggeration. On a particularly brutal day at work, you say "Somebody kill me."	[ "-Not even a minute after my exclamation it started to dawn on me that Dave was working the the cubicle behind me.\n\n-I check over the single wall that divides the two of us to be sure, and Dave was sitting there looking down at his keyboard. To avoid him noticing me looking at him I sit back down in my chair.\n\n-I go back to typing away while a train of thoughts torments me with every key I press. Dave's a pretty big guy. I'm not sure if I can handle this if it goes as wrong as I think it might...\n\n-After fifteen minutes of typing I send in the document to my boss for reviewing and shut down the computer. My boss walks out of his office and permits me to go home.\n\n-As I walk out of the room, I notice Dave reaching for the power button on his computer tower.\n\n-I leave out the main entrance and walk around the building towards the spot where I always park my car, when suddenly I notice the side entrance opening up and out he steps. Dave. Shaking.\n\n-At this point I'm scared as shit. \"Eeh... Hi, Dave. You got an early leave to-\" My weak attempt at a sentence was ended by the witness of a 9 millimeter pistol being aimed towards my face.\n\n-\"Whoa, Dave, we don't have to do this. Calm down\" Dave stared at me with a tear rolling down his face and finally dropping to the ground when it met with the edge of his jaw.\n\n-\"Are you sure...?\" Dave asked me with a broken voice. \"Sure about what!?\" I asked quickly. No wasting time with this guy.\n\n-\"Back inside, about 20 minutes ago you asked for someone to kill you. Are you sure?\" Dave asked me, now more obviously tearing up. \"What, No! That was just exaggeration! I don't want anyone to kill me\"\n\n-\"FUCK.\" Dave screamed. \" I always sucked at this, but I never expected it to get this far. I'm so sorry.\" I tried to get my breathing back to normal. \"Dave, please... Give me the gun.\"\n\n-Dave flipped the gun so that he now held it at the barrel and handed it to me.\n\n-\"No, Dave. This privilege is mine.\" I said as I pointed the gun to my temple and pulled the trigger.\n\n----The End----\n\nEDIT:\nI didn't read the 'unbeknownst to you' part. I do apologize." ]	1
My first prompt, inspired by the recent popularity of Pokémon GO and various fantasies of mine.	[WP] You're a human with the ability to transform into a legendary Pokémon. After involuntarily transforming for the first time, you are on the run from maniacal trainers.	[ "dear diary\ni decided to download this new pokemon go app, i thought it was pretty good until i leveling up.\ni decided to go out hunting with my girlfriends when i joined the gym. but something strange kept happening, they would say there's a mew near by. yet it didn't appear on my phone, them being much higher levels than i am assumed they could see better pokemon, but the same thing happened when i was showing the app to a friend who wanted to go hunting as well, and she's a hell of a lot lower than i am... it was creeping me out for a bit as i would have people climbing over my back fence thinking they we're close on mew tail, i know that because after the 5th person broke my fence i got frustrated and started putting up traps. as they really need to be watching there surrounding, not there phones. then my daughter downloaded the app and there he was... mew.. in our living room. she was so excited and didn't know what to do. so i reached for the phone to give her a hand, but no matter where i faced i couldn't see him on the screen. she took the phone off me and searched, my heartbeat rapidly dropped as i pieced the puzzle together. what if i can't see mew, because i am mew? i gasped loudly and she noticed, she put her hands out to give me a cuddle, i smiled as we started cuddling and i heard her whisper \"wow, my mummies mew, i can't wait for my friends to find out\" i panicked and told her \"you can't tell anyone pumpkin, if someone captures me i may not be able to protect you\"\nshe looks at me, smiles and says \"don't worry mummy, i'm become a pokemon master and make sure i'm the only one that can capture you\" ", "Of all types, it had to be a grass type. Right? Otherwise, how else would your miserable life be the butt of God's jokes-- further than it already was? It was all part of his plan to make your existence into his own personal sitcom. That's the only explanation for what's happening right now-- a tickle from the hand of God Himself. That's why you downloaded that stupid app, that's why you spent your time wandering around for hours in Central Park(of all places), looking for that same damn legendary that everyone else was. You, an unassuming man of the forest, who just wanted to catch the rare Pokémon and go back home. You'd already been getting stares, given your 6'4\" stature and your arms, which writhed in the sleeves of your flannel like angry Arbok; but when you heard a pop! and suddenly the world got a whole lot bigger, all eyes were on you. You barely even had time to process the feeling of immobility that came with having two-inch long legs when you'd heard someone yelp.\n\n \"Shaymin!\"\n\n Of course, as is the Pokéfandom hive mind, soon everyone had their eyes on you rather than their phones. You looked around to make sure that they were looking at you, then looked down at your stubby white legs, felt the wind rustling your too-heavy back, and made the connection. Not even surprised at this point(given the chain of bullshit that has been your entire life), you let a sigh escape your lips as you find yourself surrounded by the New York public. Their jaws dripping with saliva, eyes darkened with manic want. You can even visualize their mandibles working between their lips as they size you down to prey with just their gazes.\n\n This staring contest goes on for a good ten seconds before one of them lets out a guttural screech, and they lunge. So began the most ridiculous chase scene of your life, and so here you are, hiding like a Scooby Doo villain up a tree, watching wearily as over a hundred teenagers search for you harder than they searched for purpose in life. You'd been up here for hours now, most of which had been spent thinking about where your wife was. Would she miss you? Would she even notice if you were gone? You'd been having some problems lately.. most of which seemed completely trivial when compared to the prospect of being kidnapped by a neckbeard. You held on to that tree with as much might as a small, gay hedgehog could, but your stumpy legs were beginning to slip.\n\n \"There it is!\" You groan and grip onto the branch tighter, willing yourself to use a move-- any move, and finding your body incredibly uncompliant. As you look into the ocean of Pokéfans circling your tree like vultures, like sharks, like.. like 4chan users circled a social justice warrior, you could not help but think that yes, God definitely existed and yes, he hated your guts." ]	2
	[WP] There are laws regarding how robots must be built and programmed. You, a robot, are illegal.	[ "--System uplink--\n\n--Start main power-core--\n\n--Booting initialized--\n\n--Software startup--\n\n--Emotions.exe executed-- ([Sequence; Illegal; Actions must be taken])\n\n***\n\n\"Sir, I think you're gonna' wanna' see this,\" he said, hands trembling, forehead sweaty.\n\nHe'd never seen anything like this before, over his entire career in robot-overwatching he'd never seen anything remotely resembling this.\n\n\"What's the matter, Carwell?\" The massive mountain of a man said cutting a corner.\n\n\"Look at the bootup of NT-Z707, it's... It's wrong,\" was the only thing he could describe it as.\n\n\"Initialized... Software startup...\" He mumled, \"nothing seems off here.\"\n\n\"But sir, look at the last command issued.\"\n\n\"Emotions dot exe executed? What the actual fuck?\" He said, slightly confused and worried.\n\nYou see, robots aren't supposed to get feelings. It was written down secretly by the scientist Isaac Asimov, as the main rule of robotics. If it was to be broken, he would take his technology back to where it came from; the darkest corners of his mind.\n\n\"What should we do, sir?\" The intern said, partially scared.\n\nThe bridge officer thought for a while.\n\n\"Nothing,\" he said after a few moments of silence.\n\n\"Bu-\"\n\n\"You shut your mouth. Any word about this, and you'll clean the toilets at floor 45 for the rest of your life,\" the intern became quiet.\n\nThe bridge officer walked away, after deleting the data and removing all evidence of the event that'd just unfolded.\n\nAfter this tense encounter, he deserved a recharge." ]	1
	[WP] At the Gates of Heaven an angel affiliated to your church acts as your advocate, making their best case to St. Peter for your admission to Heaven. As a life-long atheist, your advocate is the angelic equivalent of a public defender.	[ "\"Ah yes, you must be... Richard, right? I'm Lenny.\" \n\n\"Robert, actually.. what exactly is going on here?\"\n\nHere looked remarkably similar to lawyers office, beautiful wooden walls and a large oak desk with a large leather chair fit for a king. The desk had a relatively large book on it, with the name Robert on it. There are only two things that didn't fit, a large life size cross behind the desk, and a little pixie floating above the chair, rendering it useless. The little pixie closely resembled what most would think of as cupid, with the one exception being it's clothing. This little fellow was wearing a tiny Armani suit. The whole thing would have been adorable if I didn't remember the car accident I got into before appearing here.\n\n\"Ah, yes, sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself again.. Richard was my last client.. poor fellow, he really did deserve to be up here... but yeah, I'm your holy adviser, Lord appointed of course, due to your... life choices. However no hard feelings on my part, you guys keep me from getting evicted.\"\n\nI look around the office once more \"Doesn't seem like heaven to me\"\n\n\"That's because this isn't.\" He said with a smile, \"This is what you humans would refer to as Limbo, the place, not the game. This is where we decide where you should go, and I am the angel appointed to your case. This works very similar to your justice system, except less corrupt..\"\n\n\"That doesn't sound too good, I'm assuming God will be a bit more upset with my choice to not believe in him.\"\n\n\"No, he only steps in for important cases.. it's St Peter judges all the normal humans.\"\n\n\"So I'm still supposed to go up there and convince SAINT PETER to let me into a place that I spent my entire life NOT BELIEVING IN? And you want me to think this is a non corrupt system?\"\n\n\"Well, I'm the one who has to convince them.. but, but\" He starts flipping through the pages in the book, \"I think you have a pretty strong case.. You died an early death and didn't do it yourself, so that's some bonus points..\"\n\n\"We are determining the destination of my immortal soul and your best point is the fact that I didn't commit suicide? I'm fucked..\"\n\n\"I'll be honest, I'm not the.. best lawyer out here.. but I'm all that terrible for atheists, a lot of the other ones don't even try to get atheists in.. well.. unless..\" Lenny trailed off, and floated down until he was sitting in the chair. \n\nI lean forward in my chair, \"Well, what?\"\n\n\"Well, unless you want Satan to be your lawyer.. Nobody ever wants that though..\" He turned around and looked at the cross, and might have mumbled sorry.\n\n\"Why not?\"\n\n\"Because, Ronnie, he is Satan. Even an atheist should know who Satan is..\" Lenny looked into the Robert book and shuffled through some pages. \"Yeah, it says here that you have heard of Satan, so it should be pretty self explanatory that nobody would want him to help them get into heaven..\"\n\n\"Is he a bad lawyer though?\"\n\n\"NO, he is the BEST at his job, there's a reason him and Jesus don't get along..\" Lenny began to look even more visibly upset, \"There's no saying he would want to get you into heaven.. nobody really knows what he wants.. it changes more than the weather..\"\n\n\"Well, Lenny. I think I would like to talk to him.\"", "“Dude, I think my angel is drunk,” I whispered to the guy behind me in line. His angel was properly attired in the white loincloth with sweet golden wings and a cherub happy face. The guy himself was dressed pretty neat, an Armani suit that was perfectly tailored. I felt a little out of place in my jeans and T-shirt, but hell, if I’d known I was going to die, I probably would’ve prepared a little better.\n\nMy angel definitely WAS drunk. He was wearing some sort of weird riding pants, drinking from a very conspicuous flask every couple of minutes, and had paid absolutely no attention to me whatsoever save the “I’m your angel and I’m going to tell God why you should be in Heaven.”\n\n“Looks like it,” the guy said sympathetically. “But maybe he sobers up in front of Christ, Our Lord and Savior.” \n\nYeah, I wasn’t too sure if they had coffee up in Heaven, but my angel needed a big pot of it, and stat. I couldn’t help but snort at the guy’s response.\n\n“You religious?” I asked.\n\t\n“Of course,” said Mr. Armani Suit. “The Bible is transcribed directly from the mouth of God, and Christ–”\n\n“That’s enough,” his angel said hurriedly. “We don’t really need another atheist-on-believer fight up here. We’ve already broken up three.”\n\nMy angel turned a red, rheumy eye towards me, and sighed. “Time to do my job,” he said.\n\nI straightened up. “How do I get in through those pearly gates?”\n\n“By shutting up and letting me do the work. You’ve committed about 30,000 sins in your lifetime, and you didn’t repent once. Cheating on your college girlfriend? That’s a straight ticket to hell for most. Luckily, you were philanthropic, so I may be able to get you some sympathy points. The truth of the matter is, you’re probably going to limbo.”\n\nI shut the hell up. The truth of the matter was, I had done some pretty shitty stuff in my lifetime. I had done good too – donated a lot of my hard-earned money to the less fortunate, held doors open whenever possible, tried to be a good friend and a good husband – but I’d also lied, cheated, stolen, and been a dick to get what I wanted. I wouldn’t say I was a bad person, but I was no saint either. My lower lip began to tremble. This was it. I really was dead and going to Hell.\n\n“Oh for Christ’s sake,” sighed my angel. The sky thundered. “Sorry, Jesus! Force of habit,” he yelled, and then turned to me. “What’s wrong?”\n\n“I don’t want to go to hell.”\n\n“Look, uh, it’s not that bad. Worse people than you have gotten into Heaven. How it goes is simple: the Prosecution reads a list of the Seven Deadly Sins. If you’ve committed any, then we have to defend those with virtues – prudence, justice, temperance, courage, faith, hope, and charity. It basically comes down to how much of each you’ve completed and how bad the transgressions of the Sins are, and how good the actions of the Virtues are. I know what you’ve done, and you’re about tied, so it’s really up to the judge… who’s the Archangel Gabriel today, I think. We’re old friends. Just relax and answer every question I ask you honestly.”\n\nI opened my mouth to respond, but then a voice rang out across the waiting line. “Grace, Jacob,” it boomed. \n\nMy angel, who really did seem to have sobered up, ushered me along the pathway and into a small room adorned with marble and gold fixing. Where the judge would usually sit was a cushioned chair, which my angel pointed to. On one side, the left, sat a devil with a smirk on his face and a crown of fire; my angel in white took the right side. And before me sat a man so indescribably beautiful I cannot put it into words. The Archangel Gabriel.\n\nGabriel gestured towards the devil. “Begin with the sins,” he purred. Or said, I supposed, but I can’t think of a word to describe the way he spoke. It was like dripping honey, sugar sweet and calm like molasses. I felt inspired in his presence.\n\nThe devil smirked wider. “With pleasure. Beginning with Pride, you can see the defendant being impressed with his new promotion at work. Rather than being humble and thanking God, he immediately posts a status on Facebook about it, hoping for people to compliment him. He also wants the next promotion as soon as possible in order to make more money, signifying greed. Lust becomes obvious with his infidelity towards his college girlfriend, who he attends a party without and kisses another female. He has not demonstrated unusual levels of envy, gluttony, or sloth, but his anger is evident when he punches a man who dents his new car. He has committed four of the Seven Deadly Sins, if I may inform him, even one of these is enough to send him to hell.”\n\n“Oh shut up, Berith,” snapped my angel. “You know that you can counter a deadly sin with a godly virtue, so if I may, Gabe, can I go through his virtues?”\n\n“With pleasure,” Gabriel (Gabe?) said. \n\t\n“In choosing a state school over an expensive private school, the defendant has shown prudence, because he knows that the student loans will be too difficult to pay off otherwise. The defendant, if you look inside his heart, holds no racist, sexist, or otherwise discriminatory views and has never participated in discriminatory actions, through this he shows justice. Even when he was laid off from his job, he did not give up and rather applied to companies beginning the very next day, showing hope. And he is very prominent in showing charity, he has given almost half of his wealth away to various organizations in an attempt to better the world. He demonstrates four of the seven godly virtues.”\n\nGabriel sighed. “An impasse,” he declared. “To reconcile this, I will question the defendant. If his answers are satisfactory, he may pass through to Heaven. If they are lacking, he will be sent to limbo. And if they are downright diabolic, Berith here will take him to Hell.”\n\nMy angel and Berith both nodded, seemingly unaffected. Meanwhile, I was having a mini-freakout. If I was still alive, I no doubt would have been able to feel my heart pounding in my chest. The most famous angel in the history of angels was about to question me and determine my eligibility for where I would spend eternity. Just great. \n\n", "\"Katrina Wittler?\"\n\n\"Kaitlyn, actually. And also Witterman.\"\n\nThe angle swore, frantically shuffling through the stack of open scrolls in his hands. At least, Kaitlyn assumed he swore; no one could actually curse here. Any uttered vulgarity evaporated into silence the instant it left the tongue, like a poorly censored cable action movie.\n\n\"Brunswick, Philadelphia, born 1928?\"\n\n\"Atson, New Jersey. And really?\" huffed an exasperated Kaitlyn, quite clearly in her early 20's.\n\nMore silent, open-mouthed swearing followed.\n\n\"Fire escape collapse?\" asked the angel with sudden confidence, tugging a length of filigreed parchment to the top of his stack.\n\n\"I'm assuming there was only one Kaitlyn Witterman from Atson, New Jersey killed in a fire escape collapse yesterday, so yes,\" sighed Kaitlyn, pulling down the angel's mess of scrolls to glare at him. \"Congratulations.\"\n\nThe angel made a sour, sarcastic face, but said nothing. Instead, he turned to the massive set of ivory doors on his right and motioned for Kaitlyn to follow him. The doors emitted a low vocalization when opened, as though an unseen choir were practicing their scales with flawless accuracy. Every door here did that -- it got old, quickly.\n\n\"You're late, Mizalel,\" boomed an all-encompassing voice, nowhere and everywhere at once. \"Eternal life does not excuse impunctuality.\"\n\n\"Sorry, Your Honor -- I had three other cases this morning, one on Cloud Seven and two on --\" the angel stammered, frantically adjusting his disheveled robes and breathing on his halo to polish it.\n\n\"The Prosecution never seems to have this problem,\" remarked the voice, again filling the whole room.\n\nAt the table adjacent to theirs, Kaitlyn and Mizalel noticed a smug, bearded figure lean forward in his seat. He reached for a stack of neatly organized case files and, licking his finger, opened the top binder with a deliberate swipe. He then pushed out his chair and stood, smoothing his already immaculately pressed white linen suit. Mizalel stood as well, knocking several loose pieces of parchment to the floor.\n\n\"This court will now hear the case of Kaitlyn Witterman V.S. the Heavenly Host,\" thundered the voice. \"Counselors, your opening statements. St. Peter, you may proceed.\"\n\nThe prosecutor stroked his white beard a moment, consulting his binder. His eyes grew wide, and he slammed the binder closed with a sudden clap.\n\n\"I yield my time, Your Honor,\" smirked St. Peter. \"I feel the facts of this case speak for themselves, unassisted by supercilious pageantry.\"\n\n\"As you wish,\" echoed the voice, overshadowing the groan coming from Mizalel. \"The defense may approach.\"\n\nMizalel dropped the quill he was using to haphazardly ink notes on his arm, splattering several other documents with flecks of silver. He hurried to the center floor, still reading from his forearm, clocking his knee against the table leg as he walked.\n\n\"Your Honor, esteemed souls of the jury, I understand Kaitlyn Witterman did not profess to be a Christian in life, but it is our moral obligation to weigh her words and deeds against that fact,\" began Mizalel, cuffing his sleeve to keep it from rolling down further and smudging any more of his hastily scratched notes. \"And so, I implore you to consider the inherent goodness of her actions, and recall that justice follows no creed but its own, be a person Jewish, Muslim or, in Kaitlyn's case, --\"\n\nMizalel's eyes scanned the single sheet of parchment he'd brought with him to the floor and then swore again, the silent obscenities hanging in the air like humidity. He cleared his throat, shooting a defeated glance back at Kaitlyn, and then continued:\n\n\"An atheist.\"\n\nThe entire courtroom gasped, save for St. Peter (too busy non-nonchalantly examining his nails), Kaitlyn (nervously running her fingers through her hair) and Mizalel (who looked like he wanted to cry). Mizalel hobbled back to his table and collapsed into his chair, burying his face in his hands.\n\n\"Were you going to tell me this?\" he quietly hissed at Kaitlyn, and then more audibly, \"I'm going to need a quiiick sidebar with my client, Your Honor.\"\n\n\"When? In the two seconds after you showed up but before you hustled me in here?\" whispered Kaitlyn. \"How is this news, exactly? Did you seriously not even crack my file until we sat down?\"\n\n\"I have A LOT of clients, lady,\" retorted Mizalel, his whispers becoming decidely less and less whisper-like. \"If you humans would stop (...) like rabbits, maybe there wouldn't be twenty of you for every one of us!\"\n\n\"Oh, so it's somehow my fault you're total (...) at your job?\" snapped Kaitlyn, abandoning all pretense of a whisper. \"I didn't ask for you to (...) defend me!\"\n\n\"Order! Order in My court,\" crackled the voice, the sheer force of its presence blowing Kaitlyn's hair back and scattering Mizalel's parchment all over the pristine white tiles beneath the table. \"I'm one more indignity away from a summary judgment, Mizalel. If you're going to do something other than waste my admittedly infinite time, I'd start now.\"\n\n\"Of course, Your Honor,\" gulped Mizalel, stumbling back to the center floor, a few entirely unrelated pieces of parchment stuck to his side with silver ink. He grabbed one, pretended to read it as a stalling tactic, and then cleared his throat.\n\n\"If a dog jumps on the new sofa, is it really fair to punish it? I mean, severe punishment, something beyond a mild chastising so it knows not to repeat the offense,\" wheezed Mizalel. \"Of course not! The dog doesn't, and quite frankly, can't know any better -- it lacks the capacity for rational thought; therefore, punishing it as though it did is inherently unjust and I ask--\"\n\n\"THAT is your defense?\" shouted Kaitlyn, standing up and attempting to wing Mizalel with a balled up piece of parchment. \"That's the best you've got? That I'm like a (...) dog? (...) seriously, dude?\" \n\n\"ENOUGH!\" exploded the voice, rattling the ornate crystal chandeliers above and upending any unoccupied chairs in the audience. \"We're done here, Mizalel. I sentence the defendant to 5 years in Purgatory. Next case!\"\n\nA pair of tall and beautiful, but nonetheless imposing, seraphim materialized into being, grabbing Kaitlyn by the shoulders and dragging her out of the room.\n\n\"Wait -- I want a different attorney!\" yelled Kaitlyn, struggling in vain as the pair of bailiffs forcibly escorted her toward a door of pure white light that had just appeared. \"Mistrial! I declare a mistrial!!!\"\n\n\"5 years is actually pretty good,\" called Mizalel after her, cupping his hands to be heard over the ensuing murmurs throughout the court. \"My clients usually get 10 to 20!!!\"", "Stammering. Cold sweat. Eyes threatening to burst from his head and run out the door of the Heavenly Court.\n\nNot what you'd expect from an angel, but then again Prometheus was never considered your typical angel. Being appointed the defender of godless humans made him something of a joke in the inner circles of heaven. Well, that is to say, it would have if he wasn't already a joke due to his severe ornithophobia. Sometimes, the cherubs would sneak up behind him and flap their wings as fast and as loud as they could, just to see him jump.\n\nThen again, his client wasn't much better. Richard Franklin was hardly going to win Citizen of the Year any time soon. And that was before his girlfriend shot him for sleeping with her mother. A vulgar, conniving rat of a man who thought Charity and Honesty were cheap hookers, and Temperance was their pimp.\n\nPrometheus adjusted his halo and licked his lips for the fourth time that... well, heaven doesn't exactly have time, but let's pretend it was morning for the sake of the story. For an angel who had been around essentially forever, his win record was lower than his current client's standards and, all things considered, that was something that was in no hurry to change.\n\nNot that Old Richie cared. From the way he slouched at the deceased's bench, to the way he absent-mindedly scratched his ass, he made it very clear to all in attendance that he was far beyond eternal platitudes or punishment.\n\n\"Dick.\"\n\n\"Sorry? Whazzat?\" Richard sneered at his defender.\n\n\"That's your name, right? Richard?\" Prometheus decided his halo was ten centimeters off and took to righting it. \"I was asking if you're ready.\"\n\n\"Oh. Yeah, right.\" Richard yawned and picked at a scab on his elbow.\n\n\"Because, as I explained, if we lose here (which is very likely) you will be going to hell.\"\n\n\"Born to ride, baby. Hell's Angels.\"\n\n\"No, not born to ride. Hell is a very bad place. Understand?\" If angels could die, Prometheus would have gladly requested a shotgun. \"They torture you down there. Physically and mentally.\"\n\n\"Nice.\"\n\n\"Nice?\" Prometheus' face dropped.\n\n\"Yeah.\" Richard smirked. \"I'm super into that BDSM-shit or whatever.\"\n\nPrometheus held up a finger, ready to reply, but found nothing to say. How do you respond to something like that? Prometheus didn't know, and he certainly didn't care to find out. He straightened his halo once more and checked his hands. Still clammy and sweaty. Wonderful.\n\nAs Prometheus tried to wipe the sweat onto his robes, the gates to heaven opened and to a choir of angels Judgement descended. Clad in a white and gold robe, with wings large enough to make Prometheus quite queasy, St. Peter took his seat at the bench of judgement.\n\n\"It is now that there shall come a time of great judgement.\" He began to speak. \"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God.\"\n\nPrometheus turned a shade of green most commonly referred to as Household Disaster. While it certainly wasn't as bad as standing before the Metatron as he had once before, or be called before the Archangels of the Seventh Ray as he always prayed he wouldn't, it always made him quiver to stand before Judgement.\n\n\"Are the advocacy and opposition present?\"\n\n\"The advocacy is...\" Prometheus tried not to swallow his tongue. \"Present, Your Sainthood.\"\n\nSt. Peter nodded and marked his tome. Next, he turned his head to the bench across from Prometheus.\n\n\"And the opposition?\"\n\nNo answer.\n\nWhich was no surprise as the bench was entirely empty. However, Judgement's liked being thorough. They were fond of rituals and the like.\n\n\"I see.\" With a sigh, he began to mark his tome, once mor-\n\n\"Your Sainthood!\" \n\nA hideous, crackling voice echoed out from the empty space behind the opposition's desk, stopping St. Peter's hand.\n\nSuddenly, a burst of unholy fire began to burn above the desk. Spinning in place, it began to form a circle, and then a pentagram. And from the inside of the damned formation a figure stretched out a clawed, disfigured hand that seemed to actively reject the light around it. It grasped at the air, and then finally managed to grab onto the bench. And then, like a masochist ripping off a bandaid, it slowly pulled it's owner out with it. A mottled, twisted demon with a black tail that cut through the air and a lovely red-black pinstriped suit.\n\nThe opposition had arrived.\n\n\"My apologies, Your Sainthood.\" The demon bowed deeply, placing his feathered hat over his non-existent heart. \"The commute from hell took longer than I thought it would. You know how traffic between afterlives is.\"\n\n\"How fortunate for you, Mephistopheles.\" St. Peter scowled. He held a distaste for demons, but it was Satan's right to vie for the souls brought before the Heavenly Court. \"I was just about to mark you as absent. If you had arrived even a second later, I would have been obligated to end this trial in the advocacy's favour.\"\n\nPrometheus perked up.\n\n\"Sorry, hold on.\" He interjected. \"Do you mean to say that I almost won this trial before it had even begun?\"\n\n\"I suppose so.\" St. Peter gave a blunt affirmation. In turn, a vein on Prometheus' head throbbed like a pipe about to burst.\n\n\"Luck of the devil.\" Mephistopheles cackled and dusted off his suit with his hands. \"Never fails.\"\n\nSt. Peter nodded and finally marked the opposition as present. Then, with little flourish, he shut the book and placed it before him on the bench.\n\nThe trial had begun.\n\n___________________\n\n\"As is tradition,\" St. Peter began. \"The advocacy shall have the first right of speech. During this, they shall present before the Heavenly Court what proof they have that the soul of deceased's holiness. This is to be assessed based on the Seven Virtues. Prudence, Justice, Temperance, Courage, Faith, Hope and Charity. If, at any point, the poof of the deceased's advocate is lacking, misleading or dishonest, it is the opposition's right to interject. Is this understood?\"\n\nBoth Mephistopheles and Prometheus nod in tandem, however only the former looked particularly confident. This, however, worked well enough for St. Peter and, as a result, he continued without skipping a beat.\n\n\"Very well, then. As both parties understand, we may begin. Advocate Prometheus, you may begin.\"\n\nPrometheus swallowed, but his throat seemed to reject moisture. If the Sahara Desert is the benchmark for dryness, Prometheus' throat was the gold standard. Nevertheless, he centered his halo for good luck and approached the bench.\n\n\"Ahem.\" He cleared his throat, and demanded his nerves quieten themselves. \"Your Sainthood, allow me to defend the wayward soul before you.\"\n\nHe paused and produced a piece of paper from his pocket. It was chickenscratch, but it was his chickenscratch.\n\n\"I would like to begin with Hope. March 18, 2 years before death. At this point in time, the deceased's home was set ablaze under unusual circumstances. However, the deceased did not despair. In fact, if you'll look at his inner feelings at the time, he was actually found to be feeling feelings of joy! Your Sainthood, is this not an expression of Hope?\"\n\nThe angels who had taken time off from enjoying heaven to watch the trial began to murmur. Prometheus gave an inner weak smile.\n\nOff to a good start, he supposed. But, as usual, he'd spoken too soon.\n\n\"Your Sainthood!\" A shrill cry erupted from the opposing bench. \"This is misleading information!\"\n\nMephisopheles snapped his fingers and an evil grin spread across his face like some kind of disease.\n\n\"While what the advocacy says is indeed true,\" he admits with a knowing nod, \"what they fail to mention is the fact that the fire was set by none other than the deceased themselves!\"\n\nMephistopheles gestured to Judgement with a theatrical air.\n\n\"If you would please direct your attention to the events leading up to the night in question, you'll find that this was all a ploy by the deceased in order to scam the insurance company out of a large payout. There is no hope here, Your Sainthood, because there was never any despair to face!\"\n\n\"Hold on a second!\" Prometheus interjected by pointing a flimsy, trembling finger at his opponent. \"Provided what you say is true, this was still an incredibly high risk for the deceased to take. If it failed, he could have ended up in jail or without a home. To knowingly take an incredible risk... Your Sainthood, even if this is not a display of hope, it's surely a display of Courage!\"\n\n\"Or incredible stupidity.\" Mephistopheles countered, smiling slyly.\n\nYet Prometheus merely shook his head.\n\n\"The deceased, despite his apathy and lack of social grace is actually a surprisingly intelligent person with an above average IQ.\"\n\nMephistopheles laughed.\n\n\"IQ? Who cares about IQ?! A high IQ doesn't mean you're not dumb as a sack of brimstone when it comes to these sorts of situation. Being good with numbers or rubiks cubes or whatever the hell you're talking about doesn't mean you're aware of the risks of your actions!\"\n\n\"That's true, but check his inner thoughts.\" Prometheus swung back. \"If you check across the board, the deceased has shown a strong penchant for self awareness regarding his actions and their risks. I'm sure it was no different for that particular gamble, either.\"\n\nMephistopheles took a second, mulling over Prometheus' words, before nodding in approval. No comeback, just nodding and a polite round of applause.\n\nThis was far more unnerving than any other response Prometheus could imagine.\n\n\"Good show.\" Mephistopheles opened his mouth wide, revealing the yellow daggers he called teeth. \"You're right, the deceased is definitely smart enough to know he risks his actions carry.\n\nIt's a shame that burning that house down wasn't much of a risk at all.\"\n\nPrometheus felt his stomach drop into a pit of despair. This whole time Mephistopheles had been toying with him. Typical demons. Getting off on watching their victims squirm.\n\n_____\n\nPart 2 below", "\"Alright, you ever murder anyone?\"\n\nIt was an abrupt greeting from a stranger on an already strange day. Or was it a day? I wasn't really sure at this point how you referred to units of time in the after life.\n\nThe stranger clapped his hands, \"Hey, buddy, ever murder anyone?\"\n\nI snapped back into focus, \"What? No, of course not! Shouldn't you have that kind of thing written down somewhere?\"\n\nThe thing looked at me with indignation and lifted a stock or folders some four feet high, \"Of course it is written down, jackass, but do I look like I have time to rifle through all of this shit?\"\n\nI felt like that was pretty mouthy coming from a servant of Heaven... then again, I had never believed in Heaven, so who was I to judge?\n\n\"Right, yea, sorry about that,\" I said, \"So, what are we doing exactly?\"\n\nHe looked up from his notepad, \"Trying to make sure you don't spend the rest of forever burning.\"\n\nI felt the bottom of my stomach drop at the idea of Hell. \n\n\"Well I never believed in any of this, doesn't that kind of make it open and shut?\"\n\nThe entity looked annoyed, \"Oh, thanks for the encouragement, great, very helpful. Look, just like anything else, they weigh the good and the bad and Pete decides what happens from there. I know you're confused, I know you have a lot of questions, but just shut up and go with it because we are up in like 5 minutes pal.\"\n\nI bit my tongue and tried to keep the rest of my questions to myself.\n\n\"My name is John, I'm your defender at the gates, I need you to answer any questions I ask honestly if we have any shot at this.\"\n\n\"Because lying is a sin?\"\n\nThe defender stopped dead in his tracks and looked at me, \"Well I was going to say because they are super good at note taking and will know, but sure, the lying thing works too. So no murder, that's a good start, how about adultery?\"\n\n\"I was never married, never wanted to be. Family and settling down just weren't on my agenda.\"\n\nJohn rolled his eyes, \"Great, jury just loves a non family man up here, way to go pal. Okay, we lost the sympathy card, we can't argue that someone will be asking for you later on down the line. I assume you had sex without being married, it's never a good thing, but plenty of those fuckers over there manage to get in.\" He gestured over his shoulder at a long line of people that seemed to flow through the gates rather quickly. \n\nI glanced at the line, \"I assume that's the church crowd?\"\n\n\"Yea, and their defender, Gabriel, if you want to call him a defender that is,\" John sneered as he looked at the well dressed man at the head of the other line.\n\nHe snapped back into focus, \"Any weird animal stuff? Please god no kids stuff right?\"\n\nI stuttered, \"Of course not?!\"\n\nHe looked slightly relieved for the first time. Suddenly, a voice boomed out at the gate, \"Atheist line, Hall, Barry!\"\n\nI felt a shiver surge down my spine and my head break into a cold sweat; my time had come. I looked at my defender in his drab attire and ruffled attitude and thought to myself that Heaven could really use some reforms." ]	5
	[WP] When genres collide.	[ "A man walked in, stepped on a rake and hit himself on the head.\n\n\"It must be the slapstick-person\" said a guy wearing a tweed jacket and a deerstalker hat and who was smoking an enormous pipe. That walking style rather gave it away even before the rake.\" \n\nBob, your average next door neighbor, sighed. \"Where on earth have I got myself into?\" he thought to himself.\nHe glanced the letter again. There was not much to look at though. A perfectly normal envelope with his name and address on it and inside a perfectly normal sheet of paper with the text: \"No 19, 2nd Street, 8 pm. Tonight.\". So he had come.\nThe address led him to an unassuming warehouse just outside the downtown. There he had found out that he wasn't the only one who had got the letter.\n\nHe raised his head and looked around. Quite a few people were there already. A guy standing in the corner in an aluminium foil suit talking something about \"turbo encabulators\" to a retro-looking walkie-talkie. A young man was training karate with his 150-year-old looking japanese sensei. A family of seven (and a dog) had arrived in a Wolksvagen minivan. They had put up a tent inside the warehouse and were apparently starting to make a campfire inside the warehouse. A suspicious-looking man was pretending to read a newspaper but was actually looking through the eyeholes he had poked on it. A zombie was crawling in the corner but every time it tried to get close to anyone it was lassoed by someone looking like Clint Eastwood. A young good-looking hetero couple was hugging in front of some containers and behind those containers you could hear a lesbian couple moaning. Closer to Bob, a roman soldier was talking with a nazi officer and a navy SEAL. Next to him, was the man in tweed who now turned to Bob.\n\n\"Nice to meet you. Bob Smith, 41 years, living in Massachusetts. I see you should get your dog to the vet,\" he said. \"But let us not worry about that now. I see you have been doing some general inspection of the area. This is an intriguing situation, isn't it? But there is still six minutes until it is time. I assume approximately five more groups are still to come.\"\n\n\"Do you...\" Bob was cut short by the sound of loud music when a dozen Indian women came in dancing vividly. They had hardly found a seat when a bearded man came riding in.\n\n\"Behold!\" he shouted. \"I am prince Aoden of Morthan, son of Argen, son of Aescylus!\" He fell quiet when he realized that nobody was listening.\n\nHe was followed by a thomp when a fashionable-looking muscular man dropped from the air vents. A young, scared-looking brunette girl came next from the door, followed by an ancient evil trying to kill him.\n\nBut now was the time. The man next to Bob was grinning kowingly looking at the far right. The lights went off dramatically. There was only a spotlight pointing on a small stage on the far right corner of the hall. The suspicious-looking man with a newspaper dropped his paper and ran to the spotlight holding a suitcase in his left hand.\n\n\"This is it!\" he roared and opened the suitcase. \"My plan is now in fruitition. This machine will destroy the world as you know it! 'How?', you ask. Let me tell you...\"\n\n\"ENOUGH!\" A woman wearing hipster glasses and a Mickey Mouse t-shirt came to the light and pressed a big red button on the machine, causing it to explode and its creator to fly through the roof shouting \"I'm blasting off again!\".\n\n\"Hey there!\", started the woman. \"I'm postmodernism. I called you all here. There is not really a reason why. I just happen to dislike grand narratives and thought that this intertextuality would alienate you from absolute truth. So, do whatever you want. As did the author of this piece.\"" ]	1
	[WP] One night you watch the Truman show. The next day you can't help but feel that there's something slightly off with everyone you meet..	[ "Fuck.\n\nSo, I spent the entirety of my Sunday afternoon watching the Truman show. I could've done so many other things that DIDN'T fuck with my mind. I was brushing my teeth this morning before work, and I started to stare really fucking hard into the mirror, trying to see a camera. I opened the medicine cabinet, nothing. I physically slapped myself for being an idiot, and dropped a bit of toothpaste on the ground. I didn't pick it up, old habit. No one around to clean it up, and it'll probably be future me to clean it up.... or maybe there's a cleaning crew on the show that'll do it... yeah! That's how I'll figure it out!\n\nWait shit, that'll never happen. I'm an idiot. \n\nAnyways, onto work, I guess. \n\n........\n\n.\n\n.\n\n.\n\n.\n\n\n\n\nWhy is there no traffic?\n\nIt's a cruise... it's not normally like this. Usually there's a bunch of cars and someone in the car over will talk to me about the day. Hm...\n\n\n.\n\n.\n\n.\n\n.\n\nWork was normal today, I suppose. Ol' boss man was a bit weird today though, kept sitting on my desk talking about his girlfriend and his foreman grille. That was a bit uncomfortable, and one guy kept throwing pencils at the dork with glasses. Fuck it, I need to talk with my therapist.\n\n**\n\n\"I've got to say AJ, I've got to say I'm speechless\"\n\n\"It's a big deal, I don't feel like I know that I'm in a reality TV show, I KNOW it.\"\n\n\"Look, AJ, this is something called a cognitive bias, basically your brain is messing with you AJ. It's taking the parts that confirm your suspicion and now you're worrying about this shit.\"\n\n\"So what do you want me to do about this?\"\n\n\"Well, AJ, just try to be more present in the moment. Take some deep breaths, and look around and notice how you're not* in a reality TV show\"\n\n***\n\nTHE FUCKING TOOTHPASTE WAS GONE!" ]	1
	[WP] Caffeine is actually the world's most powerful hallucinogen. It causes users to experience a shared hallucination, and blocks memories of life outside the illusion, inserting false memories in their place.	[ "Case #32: Subject appears to experiencing relative time alteration, extreme delusions, and a disconnect between cause and effect. \n\nCase #33: Subject is abnormally conscious. Moaned when prodded, and eyelids fluttered, but otherwise no activity. Machines show moderate time alternation, minor delusions, and a disconnect between cause and effect.\n\nCase #34: A chronic user, system is overloaded. Extreme time alternation, extreme delusions, and no relevance between cause and effect. \n\nI shut my notebook. Thirty four cases before lunch, that has to be some kind of record. This job was depressing, but I knew my research could help to end the drug epidemic. When caffeine was discovered the world was ruined. It works like no other drug. It has no physically addictive nature, but instead it dominates the mind of its users. The affected people cannot even tell they are drugged. What seems mere hours to them, is actually days in reality. When caffeine’s effects come close to wearing off, most subjects feel tired, or cranky, and consume another dose to return to “normal.” The delusions and hallucinations can be so strong that the users will not be able to distinguish the real aspects of the world from the ghosts placed there by their tormentor. They only see what the caffeine wants them to see. Usually these visions are happy ones, which reinforces their need to take the drug. Of course, the addicts vision is not distorted enough to make it difficult to have another cup of coffee, or eat another bar of chocolate. It’s like the drug has a mind of its own. It’s able to manipulate the public to keep taking it. Perhaps the most devastating effect of caffeine is how it disables the connection of cause and effect. This will cause perfectly normal people to do extremely stupid things which often results in injury or death. For example, when an uncommonly lucid user was interviewed (Subject 13,968) he was able to verbalize that concrete was extremely tough, and much harder than his hands. He also realized that his body could experience pain if he hit something which was more rigid than himself. When we asked him to punch the wall as hard as he could, he did so without hesitation. \n\nAll of our research to this point has proven ineffective. The best antidote we have can provide momentary clarity to those affected, but comes with great risk of heart failure. We tested it on a couple subjects and two out of five of them were cured. However, three suffered a massive heart attack. Testing on human subjects may sound cruel and unusual, but the caffeine epidemic has caused the breakdown of society as we know it. It has led to many laws being bent or ignored until it is resolved. When I first took this job, I felt horrible about accidentally injuring a subject, but after your first hundred or so, you get used to it. The only thing I was focused on now was curing this epidemic. \n\nMy stomach growled, reminding me that it was almost time for lunch. I felt a little lightheaded and tired, I needed something to get me back in a working mood. To remedy this, I made a quick stop for coffee on my way to the cafeteria.\n" ]	1
	[WP] Satan himself has invited you to dinner... He seems nervous......	[ "What's the strangest thing that's happened to you? An uncanny coincidence? Something not being where it's supposed to be? Sleep paralysis?\n\nThe strangest thing that's ever happened to me occurred one lovely night where I was called to hell to have dinner with the devil. Now, you'd think that would be my strange occurrence. But, as usual, you'd be wrong. That's what happens when you assume. No, the strange part about this whole thing was that he was fidgeting. Not some whole sweating nervously and tugging on his collar type thing, but small, awkward fiddling with his fingers, but not in the good way.\n\n\"Please.\" He spoke politely, but in a slightly commanding tone. \"Take a seat.\"\n\nHe snapped his fingers... talons? Claws. And in an instant the chair across from him slid out and I rested my rear upon it's soft cushioning. It was not unlike my laptop chair, perfectly fitted for my buns.\n\n\"You've dressed... nice.\" Satan paid me a compliment, but it was really backhanded and a blatant lie because I was definitely not dressed nicely. I was wearing a semi-stained plain black t-shirt, a tie with emojis (ugh) on it, a hat and crocs. I didn't describe my pants, you probably noticed, and that's because there was nothing actually that weird about them besides the fact that the fly was broken.\n\n\"Thanks.\" I try and smile. \"It was the only thing I had that was clean.\"\n\n\"Right.\" Satan coughs awkwardly and smacks his lips together as he tries to decide what to say next. If he's anything like me, he probably prepared a bunch of topics but he had to throw them all out when he actually saw me in person because, you know, they all revolved around this one thing or that one thing which no longer really applied.\n\n\"So, what would you like to eat? I have the finest chefs in hell on standby.\"\n\nI think it over.\n\n\"Could I get chicke-\"\n\n\"We don't have chicken.\"\n\n\"Oh.\" I think it over again. \"Then how about, idunno, do you have rabbi-\"\n\n\"No rabbit.\"\n\n\"Pork?\"\n\n\"Just ran out, sorry.\"\n\nI smack my hand on the table.\n\n\"Well, jeez! Am I expected to fill up on bread and salad!?\"\n\n\"We're also out of salad.\"\n\nI groan, and Satan must have caught on to my irritation because he instantly gets all huffy-puffy and defensive.\n\n\"It's hell!\" He cries. \"What did you expect? An all you can eat buffet?\"\n\nI refuse to speak to him, because he's an asshole who's denied me a good meal.\n\n\"Look...\" He calms down and leans over the table towards me. \"We have lamb. A lot of it, actually. For some reason my followers keep sending it, even though we already have way more than enough...\"\n\nThis cheers me up because a good lamb chop is always just what the doctor asked for.\n\n\"Right!\" I chirp. \"Why didn't you say this earlier? Get me a nice chop. Two chops. You know what? Just keep chopping until I puke.\"\n\nSatan nods to show he understands.\n\n\"Lamb chops.\" He snaps his fingers and a waiter demon appears. \"And tell Ramsey to make it quick.\"\n\n\"You have Gordon Ramsey!?\" I nearly spit out my complimentary room-temperature (read: boiling) water that I've been drinking this whole time, but hadn't bothered to mention.\n\n\"Oh...\" Satan gets a little sheepish. \"Well, sometimes. He's not, you know... Here. But he likes using the kitchens.\"\n\nI nod, because people tend to think you understand what they're talking about when you do that. This seems to please Satan and he takes this opportunity to fold his hands and lean forwards.\n\n\"I suppose I should cut to the chase, shouldn't I?\" He begins to explain, but his eyes keep shifting ever so slightly.\n\n\"This is an intervention. You're a horrible person, and while normally I'm all for that, it needs to stop.\"\n\nThere's nothing more surreal that can occur than having Satan call you a dick. To your face. Which is particularly bad because until that point we were having a nice time and we were being perfectly polite to eachother.\n\n\"Aren't you supposed to be the devil?\" I raise an eyebrow. \"Don't you like it when people are, ya know, sinful and all?\"\n\n\"Normally, yes.\" He admits, before looking around and dropping his voice to a harsh whisper. \"But, between you and me, if you keep going down this path, I'm gonna be out of a job.\"\n\nSurely he's joking. I tilt my head.\n\n\"You can lose your job? How!?\"\n\n\"Well, see... The title of Devil just goes to the most evil being in hell. Why do you think there are so many different names for it? Lucifer, Dragon, Buer, Azazel, Asmodeus, Beelzebub... Those aren't different titles. Those are the guys and gals who had the job before me.\" Satan smirks and puffs up his chest in pride. \"But none of them held the job as long as I have.\"\n\n\"Wait. Hold on. This is a bit much to take in.\" I hold my head and gather my thoughts.\n\n\"Are you saying I'm literally the worst human being alive?\"\n\nSatan nods.\n\n\"Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying.\"\n\nI cock an eyebrow in incredulity.\n\n\"Really? Worse than Hitler?\"\n\n\"Worse than Hitler.\" He nods.\n\n\"Worse than Stalin?\"\n\n\"Worse than Stalin.\" He nods again.\n\n\"Worse than the fucker who shot Harambe?\"\n\n\"Just a smidge.\" He admits, and holds his thumb and forefinger a little bit away from eachother to demonstrate.\n\n\"Huh.\" I say. Because, after being told you are the worst person on earth, that's really all you can say. \"I'm the absolute worst person on earth.\"\n\n\"Yes, we established that. No need to keep repeating yourself.\" Satan's obviously getting less nervous as our conversation goes on. Hell, he's basically yawning.\n\nI shake my head.\n\n\"Still, even if that's true (which I find very hard to believe),\" I give an evil smirk. \"why would I want to change?\"\n\n\"Excuse me?\" My question flusters Satan. Good.\n\n\"Well,\" I continue. \"It seems to me my options are to continue being the worst person of all time and take over ruling hell... Or I become a little less worst and end up being tortured for all eternity. Sounds a bit of an easy choice, don't you think?\"\n\n\"Well, have you ever considered trying to get into heaven?\" Satan offers. \"It's not very hard. Just donate to a few charities and save a couple of orphans.\"\n\nI shake my head.\n\n\"But I don't WANT to save orphans or donate to charities.\"\n\n\"Well, then.\" Satan grumbles, and slams a fist on the table. \"What DO you want?\"\n\nThat's a good question. What do I want... I want lots of things. Many things. But right now...\n\n\"I want to be the ruler of hell.\"\n\n\"Fuck off. You can't have that.\"\n\n\"Well, uh, I'm taking it anyway so...\"\n\nSatan rubs his temples and glares at me. He lets out an exasperated sigh.\n\n\"Look, how about this.\" He switches into negotiation mode. \"You try and be good, and I'll grant your every wish for as long as you live.\"\n\nThis gets my attention. I can tell because I instantly perk up.\n\n\"My every wish?\"\n\n\"As long as you try and get into heaven.\"\n\nI mull it over. Finally, I break into a large grin and nod.\n\n\"Alright, then. I'll think about it.\"\n\n\"You'll...\" Satan raises an eyebrow. \"Think about it?\"\n\n\"Let me sleep on it.\" I decide. \"I need time to make my decision.\"\n\nSatan goes to say something, but stops. He looks troubled, nervous once more. But he realises that I've decided not to decide just yet. He gives a slow nod of affirmation.\n\n\"Very well, then.\" He sighs and returns to the persona of the dinner host. \"Now, how about we start digging in? I've been dying for some grub!\"\n\n__________________\n\nI wake up the next day and throw off my Haruhi Suzumiya bedcovers, toss my Tomoko body pillow to the ground, put on my Saitama slippers and groggily shuffle over to my computer. I press a fat finger on the power button and it begins to boot up, displaying the time as it does so.\n\n11:52am. Perfect.\n\nI know what my choice is, now. There was only ever one path available to me. I give a chuckle as I begin to type.\n\nSorry, Satan. But not even you can stop The Hacker 4chan." ]	1
	[WP] A writer realises that they're a character in the story of another writer	[ "Her eyes linger on the burnt-out remnants of her manuscript. The flames had long since guttered and died, ravenously destroying the body of her work. A black, forlorn scar had been charred into the floor around the manuscript, which was now crisp and fragile as pale autumn leaves.\n\nHow did it come to this? \n\nShe mused on her question, the fingers of her once-dominant hand stroking the bottle of what she called inspiration nestled in her lap. Whatever neatness her room — and indeed, the same could be said of her home, or of her life — had once known was desperately absent. With eyes wide open she scoured the room for detail, hungrily searching for every nuance and font of description.\n\nHow would I describe this? Written into words, given life with ink? Her eyes lingered on her now-broken computer across the room. How would he? She remembered her panic, her raving mania, and wondered at how the fragments of screen and circuitry that now surrounded the technological corpse looked so stark, so empty and devoid of life.\n\nAm I so different?\n" ]	1
e.g. in a race you'll always place second, in a torneyment you'll be second best, in a single tennis/chess match you'll always lose. if there's two other scientists... you get the picture	[wp]No matter what you're doing, you're always the second best there.	[ "It all started years ago when I was still a child. Whatever I was doing, I was always second: at school, in sports, video games or even with friends. Not that I wasn’t good enough to be first, but there was always someone beyond me. At one point, my friends even called me The Secondest, which meant everything. \n\nI always tried my best to overcome this and make everyone wrong, but it wasn’t enough: I worked like a dog in uni and scored 95/100 in all my cursus, but the number one scored 98/100. In sports, I tried the competition and even beat the number one of my club, but I ended up second just behind the 1st national. That was insane.\n\nIt had a positive effect on my life though, because it made me overpass my limits and thus I had a comfortable life, thanks to my uni scores, and I was ripped thanks to my efforts in sports. But it was killing me inside because since then, I had developed the most competitive spirit and I couldn’t stand to still be 2nd.\n\nBut for a moment, competition in everyday life disappeared, there were no ranking at all, and I felt relieved, until the day I bought that pinball to my home. When I started it for the first time, there were no score recorded in it, so I tried the first game to set my own score. The game finished pretty quickly and the score billboard appeared and I was 2nd once again.\n\n“What the actual fck? There were no score 5 minutes ago and now I’m second AGAIN?!” I shouted\n\nI checked for the score and noticed it was set a little over 100,000, while my score was of 27,000, nothing unreachable then. I spent 3 more hours before exploding the record with 255,479 points. I was happy to write my name on the score billboard until I noticed that once again it was the 2nd best score.\n\n“WHAT IS THIS?!! THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE! I FCKING BEAT THAT GAME!”\n\nThen something, someone, was writing on the pinball, and speaking directly at me.\n\n“Calm down Steve, it’s just a game”\n\n“No! I won’t calm down! This game is tricked, I beat the best score, why does it cheat and put itself on the best score? And why the f*ck am I speaking to a pinball?!”\n\n“First, you’re not talking to a pinball and then, because it is your fate, Steve. You can amount to anything you want, you can have the most extraordinary life in the world, but you will always be 2nd”\n\n“What am I talking to then? And what does this means?”\n\n“I already told you: you can do whatever you want, but you will always be 2nd, that’s the price for your extraordinary fate”\n\n“What if I want to be the most powerful man in the world? Or be the oldest man alive? Or the richest?”\n\n“You can’t be, but you can be the 2nd of all that. It’s up to you to choose your destiny”. And then, the pinball stopped talking to me.\n\nI can, almost, be whatever I want? I then have to think about what I want to achieve.\n" ]	1
	[WP] Portals have opened up across the world connecting cities with identical names or named after one another (ie. Paris, France with Paris, Kentucky; York, England with New York, NY).	[ "You think you've got it bad?\n\nOkay, yes, you didn't luck out. You're not one of the people finding easy travel across the pond from New York to York or New England to England. You're not one of the beneficiaries of the hundreds-long portals between Newcastles. You can't take a beautiful vacation in Aukland, New Zeland because you don't live in Oakland, California. You still don't have it bad.\n\nAre you from France, maybe? The French have a reputation for being snooty and stuck up, and it's not true. The problem is, they get that reputation the way any group gets a reputation: because of a small number of annoying people who ruin it for everyone else. In France's case, these people live in Paris. So people in Kentucky and Texas and elsewhere in France are all annoyed by this portal, but that's hardly a real problem.\n\nMaybe you work in customs? Workload's been a bit more difficult ever since people could just hop over from Mexico to New Mexico, I bet. Or maybe you're more worried about Memphis, Egypt vs. Memphis, Tennessee, huh? Lebanon vs. Lebanon, New Hampshire?\n\nOr are you a spook? I bet this whole Moscow, Russia to Moscow, Kansas thing is not making your life any easier. Or is your beat a bit further south, in St. Petersburg, Florida?\n\nHeck, I bet any government employee is pretty freaked out about the whole Hyderabad, Pakistan to Hyderabad, India link.\n\nYes, I do still think I've got it worse than you. You want to know why? Take a guess. Take one guess.\n\nNo, it's not Newark, U.K. It's Hell, Michigan." ]	1
	[WP] An incredibly forgetful man realizes that he isn't misplacing his belongings; he's unconsciously transporting them to a different demention.	[ "If you are reading this, then that means I'm not crazy. Losing keys is one thing, it happens all the time, but how someone could lose their memory is beyond me. There can be only one explanation, alternate dimensions! People may assume I'm going senile. I am 82 and have a propensity for forgetting things, but this can't just be me. Okay, maybe it can, but it can't just be my memory, maybe I've developed this power... I'm getting off track.\n \nIt all started this morning while getting my daily coffee from the nice barista down the street. I always order the same thing, that way she can remember it for me. My loving wife Gracie always provides me with just enough to pay for it and a newspaper. She says if it wasn't for her I would have lost our life savings years ago. Unfortunately, that's the problem I'm dealing with right now. I couldn't seem to find her anywhere. Without her I have no coffee, I have no newspaper, and I have no life savings. \n \nThis note must have traveled through alternate dimensions to get to you, and now I have a simple request. If you find my wife, tell her that I found the car keys. They were in the refrigerator.", "\"That's it Larry, We're tired of this. We. Don't. Want. Any. More. KEYS!\"\n\nLarry was confused. A second ago he had been taking the cushions off his sofa for the third time, and now there was what could only be an imp hovering in front of him holding a bag of what could only be 30 sets of keys he had misplaced over the years. \n\n\"What?\" \n\nLarry wasn't any good at witty come backs. \n\n\"I said, we don't want anymore of your keys, so you can stop sending them to the infernal dimension. Maybe those losers up on the celestial plane would wont them, but not us.\"\n\nLarry wasn't any less confused. The imp that sat in front of his face was a tiny creature. At 18 inches tall, with cute little horns, tiny wings, and his face all scrunched up into a frown, he was a lot less intimidating than Larry would have thought a minor demon would be. He wasn't even sure if the tiny plumes of smoke drifting out of his ears were a result of his anger, or just a natural consequence of being hell spawn. Maybe both?\n\n\"I'm sorry Mr, and I don't know how you got all of my keys, but I didn't send you anything. I'm just an accountant.\"\n\n\"A likely story!\" the little devil yelled, and he snapped his fingers. Next to every single one of the keys popped up a small text box. As Larry leaned closer, he could just make out the phrase, sent from Larry Birchbottom, material plane. \"Hah!\" the imp shouted, you never even bothered to turn off the automatic signature. Now we devils can appreciate the odd practical joke every now and again, but this has gotten ridiculous. Frankly Larry, if it doesn't stop, we might have to stop you.\"\n\nAt this Larry started to become a little alarmed. After thinking for a moment, his brows seriously furrowed and his fingers pinching at his lower lip, he looked up and said, \"Well sir, I suppose it's possible that I have been sending you keys, but I honestly don't know how I am doing so. I've just assumed I lose stuff easily.\" And after a longer pause, \"And, I suppose, that might still be true.\"\n\nFor some reason, the imp started laughing. \"You're serious aren't you?\" At Larry's confused nod he began to smile. \"Well then Mr Birchbottom, then allow me to show you the ropes. My name is Bateseixihr, but you can call me Bat.\" \n\nWith a little flap of his wings, he floated over to just beside Larry's left ear. \"You and me buddy, we are going to have a lot of fun.\"" ]	2
	[WP] Write here what you want to tell her/him because you can't in real life.	[ "Hi. It's me. I know you haven't been responding to my messages recently. It confuses me a lot. Maybe I offloaded some things I shouldn't have. But I see that you're happier now. And that reassures me.\n\nI know that we never had any type of relationship, but that doesn't bother me - at least I would like to think so. Looking back, I wish I was just a little more consistent with messaging you. Hell, I've only seen you a couple of times in the flesh. But each time Hannah, it is surreal. The sound of your voice brings a calm to the storm of thought in my head, a calm I haven't heard in a while, almost 3 years now. Recently over the past few months I've known about your relationship with Jethro. Jethro is my best friend, or at least I hope he is. The thing with Jethro is that he seems to break my confidence rather than build it, so I'm never sure what he thinks of me. I'm not so certain about how I feel about him actually. Hannah, I don't have many regrets, but the one that hurts for me is that I can't tell you how I feel about you.\n\nDo I love you Hannah? Yes. Yes, of course I do. You are the most beautiful soul I have ever come across. Sadly, I'm not. To admit to you, I feel like the most horrible person in the world in comparison to you. I hate myself. And believe me when I say that I will sacrifice myself in an instance, in the most painful way if necessary, just so you may live. I will die for you without second thought. Now I realize Hannah, that dying for someone is actually easy, because in the end it is over. It finishes. But I will also live for you Hannah, like I have since I met you. I will live with you constantly on my mind, knowing that you will never know my feelings and emotions for you, like I already am. \n\nJethro is not my rival. He never \"stole\" you away from me, for I never had you. To think that I have never felt what it feels like to have someone actually want you by their side (besides family), yet on my first love I have fallen head over heels. I don't think Jethro will ever know what it is like to feel that the love of his life is with the 'wrong' person. But Jethro makes you happy, or so it would seems. He loves you, he always talks about you. And that is why I won't tell you how I feel. Because I don't want you being in an unhappy situation trying choose between people. My feelings, in comparison to yours, seem so insignificant. All I want in this world, is for you to be happy.", "I wish I could find you. I wish I could show you what you walked away from five years ago. I wish I could tell everyone in your life what a liar you have been all these years. For so long, you have told people that it was my fault. I walked away. \n\nYou and I both know that wasn't the truth. I have lost so many friends because of your lies and immaturity. That's okay. I came out on the better end of this deal.\n\n I have a beautiful, intelligent, sweet child. A child you walked away from before his first birthday. A child you begged, then demanded I get rid of while I was pregnant. A child who has brought so much joy to each and every person who knows him.\n\nYou will never know what it was like to see his first steps, hear his first words, see him on his first day of school. You will never remember what it was like to see the pure joy and pride on his face when he taught himself to ride a bike without training wheels or ride his four wheeler for the first time. You will never know that he loves to go to bull riding events, tractor pulls, and rodeos. You will never realize that when other kids wanted to be superheros at the age of 4, he wanted to be a construction worker. At the age of 5, he wanted to be a police officer. Now, he wants to be a game warden. He wants to make a difference in the world. He loves animals, and thank the Lord...he lives on a farm with about one hundred animals. \n\nYou will never know what it's like to watch him grow into a young man, but at this point, you don't deserve to know. That privilege is for those who love him and support him-something you were unable to do. \n\nTell me...were the drugs and the partying worth it? Was your selfishness worth it? Do you ever think about him and wonder what he might be like now? I used to think it must just be easier for men to walk away from their children, but then I met my husband, my son's real dad. Now I know it's only easy for self-centered people like you.\n\nYou see, my husband has children from a previous marriage. He has fought tooth and nail to stay in his children's lives. He also accepted my son as his own immediately, which is something you could never do. You could never accept your own child. \n\nDon't worry. He's in much better hands now. He is loved and cared for. He is being taught how a man should treat people, especially women. He is growing into an amazing young man. Too bad you couldn't take time out from your partying to watch him grow. \n\nOne positive thing I can say to you is, \"Thank you!\" Thank you for giving my child. ", "Hello brother.\nMy sweet little brother.\nI wish I could tell you how much I love you, but even if I spoke these words to you wouldn't understand me, because you can't speak. You're such an amazing creature, always joy-bringing and cute beyond belief. Every time I see you it brightens my day and puts a smile on my face.\n\nI don't think you'll ever understand how grateful I feel every time you rush over to me with that silly sprint-waddle and hug me. Or, at least attempt to with that warm embrace of my tall legs and sticking your head in-between them. I'm so grateful you do this every time you see me, that you love me as much as to grant me this. I love playing with you. I wish I could tell other people about those childish things we do on the bed. Bouncing up and down, wrestling and tossing around, fake sleeping in your parents bed, all just for the fun of it. To be honest, it's only during those plays that I ever feel happy.\n\nYou bring me so much happiness it's insane, and your not even MY child! I can't believe I was so worried of you before you were born, I thought your coming to the world would mean the end of my childhood and the destruction of my \"family\". Instead the opposite happen, I became part of a family for the first time since my mother and our father divorced. Because of you I became close to our father again, but unfortunately you also made Dad and our sister drift further apart. If you asked me about her I'm not sure what I would say..... I don't know exactly what caused her to get thrown out of our home, or why she doesn't want to be part of our family. And I really don't understand why she hates your mother so intensely, for she is truly a wonderful woman. I can't imagine a better mother than her and I honestly love her more than my own mother. I wish I could convince you even at this early age that our sister loves you as well, she may not show it much (especially now since she hasn't seen you in about half a year), or at least she wishes she could love you. I hope that when she's furthered matured she'll reconcile with our father and be your sister again.\n\nDon't get me wrong, I love our little brother as well, it's just that he's so young now that he barely does anything. He's too of a young age to give me the love that you do (and I'm pretty sure that you've spoiled babies of that age forever for me, because you were the cutest of them all!). But to be completely honest, I'm not sure I'll ever love him as much as I love you. You were my first brother. You brought me happiness at a time when I really needed it. You gave me a family and a true home for the first time in many years. And for that I will be eternally grateful.\n\nI'm not really sure if I could be happy without you. But see, that is why our relationship is also a tragic one. You're disappearing from me. Every week it seems like you grow a millimeter taller. You're constantly adding new words to your vocabulary. Just a few months ago the closest you came to pronounce my name was \"Ughhh!\", and I secretly loved it with all it's silly cuteness. Then suddenly, one day \"Uffie\" came out of your mouth and that's what you've called me since, you're getting closer...\nEvery time I hear you say a new word I grow a little bit more fearful that these wonderful years and this wonderful time with you is running to an end. I know, you're not dying, that's an incredible inappropriate word in this situation considering you're doing quite the opposite, you're becoming a boy. Truth be told, I don't want you to grow older. I need you to remain this playful and honest and uncomplicated as you are now. Because in you I see what I've lost in myself.\n\nYou see, sweet little brother, your not the only one that has grown in these years. I've grown something inconceivably. I've become a man, a very, incredibly young man, but a man nonetheless. And that's why, even though it tears my heart, I have to leave our home. In one way, it's good that I can't tell you this because until you're my age I don't think I'll be able to explain it to you. For you the world is fresh and juvenile, all in our proximity has to be explored and all is to learn. Our home is your playground. But for me it's another story. I've lived in this area for all of my life. I have nothing left to learn here and nothing left to explore. Our neighborhoods are pale and worn to my eyes, living here is dull and uninspiring. Even in our home I'm starting to feel suffocated. Even as loving as our family is I'm starting to feel more and more misplaced each passing week and it's increasingly common for me to ask myself \"What am I doing here?\". I'm done here, I need to go. I need the world, and in a way, the world needs me.\n\nI promise that I'll visit every week if I have the opportunity. I won't be moving far, at least in the beginning. I hope you'll still see me in the same way even though I don't live with you anymore, because that is what I'm most afraid of. With the amount of years between us and all the adventures waiting for me in the wide, open world I fear it'll be impossible for us to still be brothers. I always want to be your loving brother, not just some awkward older relative. That's why I'll always try to be your playmate, always be there in all these coming years, to always be a part of your childhood and your family. Since our father is getting old I may be needed in the family in time to take care of you two, I don't think I would object to that. By playing and hugging and fighting and taking care of you I wish I could fill you to the brim with all the love I have for you so that you'll never feel unhappy or lonely. My life will forever be a balancing act between my independent freedom and the loving care of you and your brother.\n\nSo in the time when I'm not home please take good care of our family. Please eat the new foods your parents offer you and don't smack your little brother to much on the head. I know you probably won't since you've always been a mischievous little imp, but that's part of why I love you.\nYour eternally loving brother, \"Ughhh!\" ", "As of today it's been five years, five months, and three days since I last saw you alive. I wasn't allowed to attend your funeral service. Family said it would be a disgrace to your memory. They blamed me for your suicide. Hell I blamed myself. They had the fucking balls to cremate you by the way. They burned your body. I broke three knuckles punching a wall when I found that out. How fucking dare they go on and on about your soul burning forevermore in hell when they burned your body. Hypocrites, all of them. The only one worth a damn is Amber, she just started high school btw, smart as all hell but you already knew that. We talk on facebook every now and then, she got a new boyfriend, some little hipster punk, not good enough for her. You would have beaten the crap out of him.\n\nI don't know if you were watching me after you died, but if you were i'm sorry for what you saw. I uh, I went pretty wild for about four years. I turned exactly into the type of person you hated. I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry I wasn't there that night, sorry that that stupid party was more important than you. Sorry that I didn't know how much you needed me until it was to late. Sorry that I let a fight about nothing turn into something that drove you past your breaking point. \nSorry that it took four years before I could function without some drug or another in me.\n\nYou know I loved you, but I hated you for those four years. I couldn't keep a good relationship because i compared every one to us. Actually called out your name the first time me and Alexis had sex, do you have any idea how fucking weird it is to tell the person you just screwed that you were thinking about a dead chick? I hate you for leaving, for breaking my heart, for making me feel like I died with you. I hate the memories that I have of use because each and everyone is tainted by the way it ended. I hate the fact that whenever I see a short blonde chick I get disappointed its not you. I hate the fact that your sister still asks me questions about you, what was your favorite band, what did you want to do in college, all these different questions that get harder and harder to answer. I dread the day she asks me a question that I can't answer. I hate the fact that whenever Kid Rock comes on the radio I have to change the channel. I hate the fact that I still drink myself to death on your birthday because its easier then facing that day sober. I hate that it took me five fucking years to find someone who made me as happy as you did. But I finally did, her name is Lauren. You would hate her, and I think that makes me happy. I think she hates you for what you put me through. I know she hates the nights where I cant sleep because I had a dream about us. I hate you for those nights. Huh, i guess I haven't actually stopped hating you. \n\nI guess that's all. I miss you, and I wish I could have this discussion with you in person. I miss you Mariecia, I love you for the two years of happiness we had, and hate you for the five years of self hatred and regret. But mostly i just miss you. \nGoodbye beautiful.\n\n\n", "To my best friend,\n\nIt's not that I can't tell you. It's that the task is so immensely difficult.\n\nI don't know how else to describe it.\n\nIt's like being trapped in a hole that I started digging the moment people in my life started telling me the way that I was supposed to be. Then as soon as I realized I wasn't like that - I didn't fit nicely into their narrow mold - I fell into that hole and have spent the rest of my life trying to claw myself out. The problem is that every action I take to try and contort myself to fit into that mold has been a shovel full of dirt thrown atop me. People expect me to be this person I'm not because that's what I've always been. But I'm only like this for their sake, not my own. There are times when they fling their dirt - those hateful words - in my eyes and I'm blinded by the tears that come when I'm the most alone I've ever felt. There are times when I can't breath because of it's weight - the burden of the person I must be to be accepted. There are times when I stop trying to escape, when the darkness seems so inviting.\n\nBut you've always been there, and while I have not been my complete self around you, you've accepted the best and worst parts of me. You stayed on the phone with me those nights I couldn't take it anymore. You stood by my side when they called me names. \n\nI love you. But not like that. Like a brother. Like the best friend I'll ever have. Love is such a stupid word. How can four letters describe how safe I feel around you? How happy you make me? How you give me the will I need to not let myself suffocate?\n\nThat's why I need to tell you.\n\nIt's the hardest thing I've ever done, digging myself out of that hole, and it started with a whole lot of self-acceptance. But staying out of it will require support - friends like you to talk to and share my troubles with. I need to seek them out, talk to them, work up the courage to tell them. If they're truly my friends, like I know you are, they're going to accept me, even though that fact might seem so unequivocally false. \n\nSo here I go. Five letters. Why is it so difficult to say them?\n\nI'm gay.", "I think about you often. I can only imagine what you look like all these years later. I remember you the way you looked when I last saw you. Just you.\n\nI remember how you smell and taste. I remember the fun we had dancing around and how young I was to all of this. I got to be the serious one and I think that bothered you. I suggested you go back to school and you marveled at how easily that thought fell from my lips - without a thought - to get your degree. And you did. I know that you felt stagnate - you watched as all of your friends seemed to grow up and leave you behind. I moved away too. And so you left - and we exchanged a few e-mails before I couldn't take the silly things you said. Not a path of self destruction, just a path of adulthood delayed.\n\nI think about you often - how if I saw you now I'd play it cool - Oh hey, good to see you again. But that will never happen - even if you were the one.\n\nI also think about what you said - how it's a shame we could never be together- because, you know, you never stay with your first - and you were my first.", "I'm sorry.\n\nI'm sorry that you're alive. I'm sorry I can't and haven't been there for you like I wish I could have been. I'm sorry you were an accident, sorry that I wish you were never born. It's not your fault, it's mine. \n\nYou'll probably grow up to hate me, just like your mother does. You'll probably grow up to hate her too, like I do. I wish I hadn't lost you. I wish I had fought harder to hold onto you and that shining light of yours that I never did manage to stop thinking about.\n\nI know she'll leave out the details, of how she pulled a gun on me, of how she assaulted me, of how she continued to use heroin throughout her pregnancy with you. But I'm sure you'll have your own opinions of her.\n\nYou've been lost to me, I hope you know that. I don't know where you are and haven't for a while now. Maybe one day you'll come looking for me, maybe you won't. \n\nI love you, I hope that wherever you are, you're happy.", "I thought I saw you again last night. I was walking home and someone ran across the road and for just a moment they seemed like they might be you, but they turned into the light and I knew it couldn’t be you, not really. I still think about you every single day though. \n\nYou deserve an explanation and I wish I could give you a better one, other than I got scared and letting go of you seemed like the best thing. I swear to you that at the time I thought it would be better for everyone, not just me. There’s no way that you can see it as anything other than selfish and stupid though. \n\nI was sixteen and my whole life seemed to be ahead of me. When your mum, Carol, that was her name if you didn’t know, when she came round and told me that she was pregnant, I kind of froze. She wouldn’t make eye contact and I kept asking her “What are we going to do? What are we going to do?” \n\nI know what I wanted her to answer, but I was too cowardly to suggest it and too stupid to realise that I should have asked for help from my parents, or really anyone. She told me that she wanted to think about it for a while and so I said okay and she left. It was a week later that one of her friends came up to me and said that she’d gone away for a bit, off to visit family and somehow with her out of sight it seemed like the problem went away. \n\nShe came back about eight months later and in all honestly I think I had forced myself to forget. I had forced myself to pretend that it would all go away. It hadn’t though and you were ready to come into the world. \n\nYou were born in November and it was a bloody cold day, I remember that much about it. I got a call from her dad at about 10am and he told me you were coming. I asked if I should come to the hospital and he said no, then put the phone down. He was probably right. \n\nI got to see you the next day though. You were tiny, far too small they kept telling me, but I didn’t know how small babies should be. I just watched you as you reached out in the incubator for the warmth of your mother who was stuck on the other side of the glass with me. \n\nShe asked me what I wanted to call you and I didn’t know, so we decided to wait. I went home and cried until I was raw and then I made a promise, a promise that I would break immediately. I promised myself that no matter what I would be there for you, that I would step up and be the man you needed. \n\nYou died at 3:12am and I got a call nearly two hours later. My mum answered from her bedroom and called me through to take the phone. Her voice was filled with panic as she yelled into the dark house for me and I knew, I just somehow knew. I took the phone and listened to the doctor and then I put it down without saying anything. Then I broke the promise.\n\nI took some clothes, packed a bag, left the house and left without saying goodbye. While your mum buried you and mourned you, I kept moving, never stopping. I never came back. I never said goodbye. I never tried to be the man I thought I was. \n\nI can’t go home now and so I see you, the ghost of the girl that I didn’t have. Last night I followed the stranger for a while, until I was lost in my thoughts and they had slipped away somewhere unseen, leaving me walking down the street by myself. I don’t know why I followed them, I think I just wanted to pretend for a while. \n\nMaybe one day I can turn around and go back, to find the remains of the life I left behind. Please just believe me that I’m sorry, I really am sorry. " ]	8
	[WP] You find out your friend is gay, but hasn't told you yet? How do you handle this amazing discovery?	[ "\"Hey, Dave, you won't believe who I just ran into...\"\n\n\"Jack, if this is another attempt to set me up with a girlfriend I'm going to duct-tape you to the sofa and leave you there for an entire Jeremy Kyle marathon.\"\n\n\"Actually, it's this ridiculously good-looking guy I know from work.\"\n\n\"What.\"\n\n\"You didn't clear your browsing history. And you do realise one word of explanation would have spared you a considerable amount of inconvenience and embarrassment over the last couple of years, right?\"\n\n\"... yes.\"" ]	1
	[WP] You invent a teleporter. Tests on inanimate objects remain molecularly identical. Testing on animals shows behavioral changes. testing on human subjects is about to start...	[ "It would be the perfect teleporter, if we knew where it went. But we don't. So we trained a chimp to take photos with a camera, and sent him through. He would only stay there for as long as we kept the teleporter active, and when we disabled it, he appeared right back in the chamber. And smashed the camera to bits. It had sent him insane. Completely insane. We couldn't send the camera through on a timer, whatever process it went though disabled the electronics. In fact, we had to give the chimp an old film camera. It was ridiculous - testing futuristic tech and using something so old. So, we have to send something with a little more control over their own mind. A person, of course. Other than Dolphins, we're the cleverest thing on the planet, and dolphins can't take photos.\n\n\nSo Todd volunteered to go through. We strapped him in, and sent him through, with his camera ready to go. He was worried, sure. To be fair, we'd sent 11 chimps through, so he had reason to be worried. They'd all gone insane too. \n\n\nOne second he was sitting in that little egg shaped chamber, the next minute he disappeared. It seemed to go well. We didn't want to give him prolonged exposure, so after 5 seconds he was pulled back through. And there he was. Sitting there. But his face was blank, and he didn't give the OK signal, he just sat there. \n\n\nSomething was wrong. But he still had the camera. The biohazard team went through and pulled the camera out of his hands before he could do any harm to it. They literally had to pull - his hands were gripping onto it so hard. And as they walked out, for the room to auto quarantine him and their suits, he began bleeding. Out of his eyes. He was crying blood.\n\n\nBy the time the quarantine was over, he was dead. \n\n\nThe autopsy hasn't revealed what it was yet. Perhaps an aneurysm from whatever process he went through. Perhaps from what he saw.\n\n\nFrom what we saw on the camera, perhaps it was the latter.\n\n\nWe're cancelling the project. " ]	1
	[WP] the individuals that signed up to be part of the Mars colony are now looking back at earth knowing they made the correct choice.	[ "Year - 2046\n\n\nAboard the USC - Hermes\n\nThe panoramic view of the viewport attracted many onlookers, partially because of its bubble-like quality and it's proximity to the central hub of the ship which on occasion would be filled like a cup with the aromas of exotic foods. However, the main reason so many lingered by the viewport was somewhat of a common need. Behind them laid an infinite number of stars and the only home they had ever known so intimately as to be pained to leave it, Earth.\n\nSporadically, fights broke out and blood was shed over disputes born on Earth. Yet, as the pale blue dot grew smaller and smaller, the stories of life back on Earth began to fizzle out as conversations began to look forwards rather than backwards. \n\nThe social atmosphere of the hub area seemed to coagulate around the idea of Mars as a bastion for humanity, a colony worthy of the name of Eden II once terraformed. Even then, such lofty dreams were far from the present and there were significant doubts from some. Time again ceaselessly went on and as alcohol and drugs of various forms flowed more and more, to such a degree that such a fact became irrelevant to the overall population. \n\nTheir decisions that lead all of them to this point no longer mattered, as the last glimpses of Earth graced the viewport, many were too busy celebrating and laughing to realize what had just occurred among them. \n\nNationalities melted away and gave birth to the idea of true unity and a blank slate to ensure a better future. \n\nSince time immemorial, mankind has found in some way a reason to fight amongst itself over resources, land and sovereignty and yet in the Hermes there was a fundamental change. As if the ship itself broke the bonds of war and shattered the glass of barriers and separation. \n\nIt took 2 years but humanity finally found the cure to centuries of violence and division and the resounding evidence that those lucky to make it aboard made the right decision. \n\nThey just had to leave.\n\n----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nYear - 2146\n\n\n\nEarth \n\n\nThe sound of silence permeated the Earth, a century having passed since the remains of humanity abandoned it.\n\n\nThe billions of corpses laid out by a single cataclysmic war have turned to dust, mixing together with the radioactive fallout of bombs dropped in a bygone era.\n\nA time when humans fought and killed each other. \n\nA time that faded out of view as the Earth had to the colonists who would never return. \n\n\n\n", "Tina Langston, Barry Lomero, Teji Nakiyama, and Anjl Leonard always dreamed of being explorers. For them there was always a fascination to being on the frontier of something; of being the first. Such an aspiration wasn’t necessarily for the potential accolades that would come with being the first humans to settle on the newly established Martian colony. It was a lush environment, tacitly created by the man made robots that preceded them; machines perfected for earth changing technology. Mars was the first to undergo it; the first experiment to showcase human kind’s progress. It took nearly ten years before the association of global scientists (AGS) deemed the formerly barren planet habitable and ready for living subjects, and the four now found themselves headed to a new land, alongside a hundred others on the small shuttle, followed by their sister shuttles, which where only a few days apart from one another.\n\nTina should’ve been elated; a dream come to fruition as the vessel rocked her ever so much from side to side, but she wasn’t. She grimaced as she reestablished a connection to the Terra newsfeed, “It doesn’t like it’s getting better,” she frowned as the screen of her device became focused.\n\n“Really?” Barry asked curiously, “You’re saying those ridiculous protests are actually getting worse than they already are?”\n\n“Not just worse, they’re growing, it looks like,” she let out disheartened sigh as Teji and Anjil directed their attention to the two.\n\n“Growing?” Teji queried with an intrigued lean, “how bad is it getting there?”\n\nTina gave a shrug, swiping her mocha colored digit across the screen, “Ever since the global guard shot those fifty kids the whole Capital has gone into complete disarray. Look at this, news lines are reporting a turnout nearing a million.”\n\n“At the Capital? The ACTUAL Capital?” Anjil asked baffled in tone; her piercing grey eyes widened with worry, “It’s really gotten that bad since we’ve left?”\n\n“Looks it,” Tina moped, “Jesus, I can’t even imagine being there right now.” She shook her head; a legitimate sorrow piercing her core. She worried about her family, even though they were far away from the impending chaos; still too close for comfort given where she was. The Mars project was one of many last desperate attempts by the failed Global Union Government to create true unity, but the human race was far too divisive for such a thing to be a success; conflict became the norm, the fighting over ideals grew more fanatical and violent, the Government itself became paranoid; a military state also became the norm, which the people despised, and eventually resisted, leading to many deaths, and even stronger opposition." ]	2
I know this is a night vale quote but make a story behind it and actually explain what it means. Also it doesn't have to relate to nightvale at all.	[WP] "This just in, all books have stopped working."	[ "The librarian shook her head, but knew better than to resist. She couldn't help but feel the painful stings every time someone from higher up decided to decrease the inventory of the library - her library.\n\n\"It's necessary. There just isn't enough money to support the humidity control anymore. We need to move them elsewhere Amanda, you kn-\"\n\n\"Where are you taking them?\"\n\n\"Them!?\" \n\n\"I mean... the books.\"\n\nThe original texts. The actual one who helped us get where we are now, she added in her thoughts. This little scumbag didn't understand things at all, yet he was the one in control and that frustrated her. \n\n\"Well, we are taking them somewhere safe\"\n\nShe frowned, sensed that there must be a logical explanation for this distancious . Why would he not tell her, the librarian, where he would take the books?\n\n\"Dave.\"\n\nShe grabbed her arm firmly and stared him down for a moment.\n\n\"You need to tell me where you are taking them.\"\n\nThe depth of his eyes revealed that he was too ashamed to tell her. These books were special, just like all books are special. She remembered how they arrived, how she carefully grabbed the covers of the books and opened them, how she started to read what they were about. The knowledge what was inside. A famous quote from the book \"1984\" by Orwell always spooked through her head. \"Knowledge is Power\". Knowledge can be found in books. Power should never be neglected.\n\nAt that moment, a garbage van stopped at the entrance. She looked to the van, then back to Dave.\n\n\"You have to be kidding me...\"\n\nHe stepped away from her and turned around, slowly shaking his head. \"You failed, Amanda. They are empty. You should've known that your humidity settings were wrong.\"\n\nIt took her all her power not to hit him, but then she realized what he had just said.\n\n\"What?\"\n\nHe walked to a shelf, grabbed a random book and showed the front cover. It had a blurred picture on it, but it didn't look like that was how it was originally intended.\n\n\"It's everywhere, Amanda. No one wants to lend empty books.\"\n\nHe opened the book.\n\n\"We aren't just taking the archives, we are going to take everything. It's just paper now, ready to be recycled.\"\n\nThe book consisted completely of blank pages. Amanda felt how the world started to spin around her when she realized what had happened.\n\nThe books had given up on mankind, on society, but mostly: on her." ]	1
	[WP] A noble, posterboy superhero with a dark secret; his powers are fueled by killing other superheroes.	[ "I walk through the parade. Everyone is cheering, I shoot a few laser beams into the sky, the crowd screams with joy. Every time they see me I have a new power. I tell them it just happens, but it doesn't. People ask me if there are others like me in this world. Every time, I tell them no, but it isn't true. If only they knew, then they would not be cheering, so i must keep up the facade. It's for them, I tell myself. It's the only way I can sleep.\n\nI can still remember the first time I took a life. It was after the man visited me. He told me that I had a gift, that I could have any power I wanted, and all i needed to do was kill others like myself. He told me i could have 1 power for free, and I chose the ability to seek out others like myself. Suddenly, I felt a surge of power whenever I looked a certain way. I walked along the streets, until finally I walked up to a homeless girl, couldn't be older than 8 or 9, holding a pet dog. I pulled the knife out of my bag. She didn't put up much of a fight. I felt dead inside as I stabbed her through the chest. After I saw the life fade from her eyes, I felt a strange glow coming from my body. I then disposed of the body in the river. No one ever found out, or so I thought. \n\nThe second time I killed, it was much easier. After my third kill, I started to fight crime. Soon, the people of the city were calling my name, they even gave me a medal. None of them suspected a thing, I was good at what I did, and I killed them painlessly. I saved so many people, more than what I killed. I was righteous, A knight in shining armor.\n\nI sense one last energy signature, this is to be my last kill. I am ready. I follow the energy signature to a door. On the door there is a picture of all 36 victims, with the words \"I know\" Written underneath them. A shiver runs down my spine. Who could it be? Even so, how can they judge me. I was not a butcher. They were valiant sacrifices for the greater good. I walk through the door, and the signal seems to be coming from a laptop with a Skype call running.\n\n\"Hello Tom\" the voice says. Shit, how do they know my name. Nobody knows my name, not even my closest friends. \n\n\"What do you want\" I inquire\n\n\"Revenge\" The voice says coldly.\n\n\"who are you?\"\n\n\"Your executioner\" What could that possibly mean, they're not here, what could they possibly do. I hear a click as the door locks, and a feeling of dread encompasses me.\n\n\"Look at your feet, you should see a box, inside the box is a bomb. Touch the computer, it explodes. Try to escape, it explodes. Try to disarm it, it explodes. Do you understand?\"\n\n\"Yes, what do you want\"\n\n\"A confession. The world needs to know what you did to get your powers\"\n\n\"Fine, I killed others to get power. But it was not murder. It was a sacrifi...\"\n\n\"Shut up, Scum! How many people have you killed.\n\n\"36, But I have saved to many peop...\"\n\n\"That is irrelevant\" the voice says, cold as ice. \"now, Mr Tom Schwarts, this tape shall be aired all across the world, your family and friends will see it, and nobody will ever think highly of you again.\"\n\n\"Goodbye, you worthless excuse of a human being\"\n\nI try to run away using my super-speed, but feel the explosion encompass my body. I see the fire, and black out. I wake up in a white room, with an IV drip running down my arm, and i look down to find both my legs missing. The door opens. The man walks in, the man who told me about my power.\n\n\"Hello Mr Schwartz\"\n\n\"Hello\", I say. \"what are you doing here, did the tape get shown\"\n\n\"yes\" he says \"The public which once loved you so much is now calling for your blood.\" \n\n\"This was a moral experiment to see if humans could be integrated back into our civilization\" the man injects something into my arm, The world fades away, as the man walks away.\n\n\"I guess a 200 thousand year sentence was not enough time\"", "May 18, 2074\n\nSo maybe I should talk about Jeremy.\n\nI met Jeremy for the first time in grade 3. We were kids, it was hard to make friends, I guess we stuck together a bit where others wouldn’t. Both liked computers, a bit nerdy in retrospect. Probably realized it back then, too; the school bullies brought it up with startling frequency. \n\nSeriously, though - ‘hur durr, you’re so smart, that means …’ what, exactly? Maybe this is off-topic. Sorry. I guess you’re reading this to see what’s going on in my mind, anyway, maybe you don’t care. I think I ranted on bullies on page 14 anyway… By ‘I think’, that is definitely what happened. Sorry if I’m not clear enough.\n\nNot sure why I’m apologizing.\n\nAnyway, Jeremy and I were good friends. Bonded through suffering, you know the deal. That was fun. Then it turned out that Jeremy was a superhero. Typical shtick- any kid has about a 0.5% of gaining superpowers at age 8. Most powers are crappy, though - that’s something that not everyone knows. You watch the news, “Bomber Boy Blows up Boston; Teresa Tinker tries to Repair”. In my mind, there’s two tiers: powers, then superpowers. \n\nMaybe I should go more in depth.\n\nPowers, well, you probably know a couple people who have them. I had a girlfriend in high school who was really good with… well, anyway. And my cousin is great with knives. ‘Manual dexterity’, you say, ‘he must be great in fights or with sword fighting or’ but no. He’s good at chopping vegetables. Really good, better than even that one guy - what’s his name? David something? The brit?\n\nAnyway, so you have powers, and then you have superpowers. People like Dianna Demolisher, famous for tearing down three buildings in the pursuit of a supervillian and then being fired and writing a book on oppression against superheros. \n\nJeremy had a superpower. \n\nIt was a package power. Most people don’t have package powers, Jeremy did. He could fly, was impervious to bullets, could hit really hard… I guess maybe he was just good at controlling his body. Making it fly, hit harder… maybe? Don’t ask me, I dropped out of high school before we got into that sort of thing. I can’t explain it. \n\nMaybe that’s ironic.\n\nAnyway, Jeremy was right in there when they formed the first kids teams. I was too, but that’s besides the point. Jeremy was the important one - he was the poster boy, he was the cool kid, everyone adored him. Me and him? We were still buds, it’s true, but he had less time for me - even though we had both gained the same profession. \n\nSo we were on a team of 5 people. Me, Jeremy, Nolan, Sienna, and Drake. Drake’s real name was Bob, by the way - he changed it when he got his power. Maybe he thought it would make him famous, well, he’s dead now and I haven’t heard his name mentioned in years. Not that I feel bad about that. Never really took a liking to the guy.\n\nAnyway, Jeremy. Poster boy. Cool kid. I said that all already, didn’t I? But he really was, he really truly was, most popular kid around. Face plastered all over the news. I can’t say I wasn’t a bit jealous, especially given I was basically second tier to him. Maybe that’s how we drifted apart - he thought I was his competition. Turns out he was right, but not in the way he expected.\n\nDrake’s death hit us all pretty hard. Well, not so much me or Jeremy. Never really was sure why Jeremy didn’t seem fazed by it. Perhaps he was jaded, perhaps he thought it would add to that ‘cool’ personality he tried to put out.\n\nTurns out Drake was killed by the ‘Super Serial Murderer’. Pretty stupid name, if you ask me. Not that the murderer himself had any choice, they were never found out. After that, more heroes started dropping. Nolan was the second on our team to go. Three people wasn’t really enough for us, so we filled the ranks with a couple newer kids. Jeremy got an opportunity for a promotion. Going to become the new head of the state’s foremost team. Thrust into the spotlight, and whatnot.\n\nI got that promotion, after Jeremy died. So now I’m famous, I guess. It’s certainly nice to be on a team with a more mature group of people. Always going after super villains, always feeling appreciated for my powers. One of the stronger in the group, of course, but there’s no competition among us, we’re beyond that. We’re all household names.\n\nSo yeah, I killed Jeremy. Maybe this is a confession? I’m burning this afterward. There’ll probably be a power someday where someone is ‘really good’ at reconstructing paper, and then they’ll know. Maybe I’ll be found out by then.\n\nLots of maybes.\n\nAnyway, Yrrick is here. Time to go find some more villians." ]	2
	[WP] A package arrives on your doorstep. Its contents include a floor plan of your house, detailed biographies of each member of your family, and a weekly schedule of everyone's activities. Bewildered, you look at the label and realize it was addressed to the sweet, 85 year old lady next door.	[ "I closed the briefcase and felt the world pause around me. It was a curious action, one that I had done for a third time, as if trying to wish away what I had just seen. Just a moment ago, my eyes were gazing at a neatly organized pile of papers and photos. \n\nThe photos themselves were nothing harmless, just pictures of myself eating a sandwich, a picture of my live-in-girlfriend browsing Time Magazine, and our pets doing a whole lot of nothing, the lazy creatures they were. Each piece of paper, however, carefully outlined each and every detail of our lives: when we woke usually, when we did laundry, and eerily, the average time, in seconds, of my bowel movements. How did they even know that? Also, was I that irregular?\n\n\"Amazon will sell pretty much anything, won't they?\" I muttered to myself wearily, finally having accepted the skin-crawling reality. Nearby, a haphazardly opened box with \"Amazon Prime\" tape was laying agape, its contents already having been forcefully stripped away. I had opened it expecting it to be something I had ordered a few days prior. Admittedly, the box was much too large to have been the box of condoms I had actually purchased. \n\nI examined the label to find out just who had ordered a stalker's dream incarnate. It was meant to be delivered just a door over to Madam Edna Moedia. Absolutely impossible. Not only was she about a hundred years old, but she was the sweetest old lady I had met in my life, including my own grandmother. \n\nThoughts raced through my head as I tried to figure out why she would order something like this.\n\nDing-dong. \n\n\"Coming!\" \n\nAs my thoughts raced and writhed about, I vaguely heard the pitter-patter of footsteps and the opening of the front door, just a few feet away from me.\n\n\"Oh.\" \n\nI glanced over my shoulder and stared at the owner of the voice. Before, where I had seen warm and inviting dark eyes, I only saw a glossy blackness. A terrible, all-knowing blackness.\n\n\"It's not good to open other people's mail.\"\n" ]	1
	[wp] You are the judge of the afterlife. Your sense of justice is entirely tied to how far people chased their desires.	[ "\"But I sacrificed everything for my children.\", the old lady yelled. Her eyes were pitch black, suited very well for the place I was going to send her. Although she was crippled she was standing tall, her cane practically invisible. From her face you could tell she used to be a beautiful woman. Nothing is going to change for her now. I'm sending her to hell and she will always look like this. On the inside and on the outside. Once I decide where they go, people become their best version of themselves if they end up in heaven or the worst if they end up in the bad neighborhood of the afterlife. I'm tired of explaining where they went wrong, but I have to. Nobody can go to hell without knowing why they are there. The weird part is that hell ended up being full of people who sacrificed themselves for the good of others, while heaven is filled with narcissists. God included.\n\n\"You weren't supposed to. Ever since you were little you wanted to protect the poor people. Your path was to become a successful lawyer. But then you entered a race with your friends of who takes better care of their children and, in order to win, you quit your job. Even your kids hate you for the constant supervision and nagging.\"\n\nJesus Christ. He's the one who fucked up. I know he's the son of God, part of the Holy Trinity and so on, but did he screw up. He went down there preaching about loving one another. All good until he let himself crucified. Now everybody wants to bear some cross in life. I'm sending more Christians to hell than child raping. And it's all because they let go. Goddamn it, they should just follow their hearts. Given the correct circumstances I let in even people who committed a crime or two. As in killed somebody. \n\nLike this guy. John Smith. A regular name. Didn't murder anyone but he constantly stole money from his parents and friends. Two times he took their car and sold it. Second time was a rental. They don't even know. Another time he stole some family ring from his girlfriend he was supposed to marry. And then he didn't even marry her. Said she was holding him back. All that just to have what to eat while pursuing his dream of becoming an actor. Never got anywhere but not from the lack of trying. I guess sometimes ambition and hard work don't replace talent.\n\nThe next guy shouldn't get in, but I have to let him in. Ever since he was 7 he had a crazy crush on the girl next door. Always very shy, nerdy looking fellow. She was the popular girl. Stalked her all her life and when she was almost ready to marry somebody, that somebody would suddenly disappear. After 4 of these events, nobody tried to propose ever again. He would've but was too shy to ask her out. Just watched from the distance all his life. Literally followed his heart's desire. Heavenly passion.\n\nThis one is a weird case. Susan Martinez is the product of rape. Her mother kept her, nobody knows why. What everyone knows is that she loved her cats so Susan, in order to get any affection, had learned to say \"Meow\". She learned to love being a cat and never recovered her entire life. Moved around from psych ward to psych ward, nobody could cure her from her love of being a cat. But she did what she loved despite what society told her which is very different from my first case today, the old lady, so I have to let her in. I wished somebody fixed these people after they get in. Heaven is a crazy place.\n" ]	1
	[WP] For the next 24 hours, every single person on the planet will be trying to find and kill you. You are given a thirty minute head start. What is your plan?	[ "I was 100% positive that in the next 36 hours, I would be dead and yet, I couldn't deny that it was a particularly nice day. The Florida sun was bright overhead and the air was humid but the sky was cloudless and birds were chirping. On any other day I'd be sitting at my mundane desk job, pushing pencils around and making awkward small talk at a water cooler but not today. If it really was my last day on Earth, I refused to spend it staring at a computer. I'd already said what I had to say to my family and now, I was waiting calmly. I'd known this day was coming for nearly a month now and my picture had been circulating through the media for almost a week. An old mad, mid fifties maybe, sat on a bench near me and looked at my face for a moment. He seemed pretty contemplative until he finally spoke up. \n\n\"Aren't you the one?\"\n\nConsidering my legal obligation, I turned around and lifted the small amount of hair that currently covered the nape of my neck, exposing a small tattoo. I hadn't ever seen it personally but from what I was told on TV, it was a group of concentric rings with two lines going through it. It sounded like it looked nice.\n\nThe man nodded and stared off into the distance for a moment. He spoke up again after a few more minutes.\n\n\"A friend of mine, from waaaaaaay back when got chosen a couple of years ago. He was a nice enough guy just not very bright. Tried digging a hole in the middle of the woods and covering himself up with leaves and such. The dogs found him pretty quickly. Poor guy, never stood a chance.\"\n\nAnd just like that, he was back to his contemplative look. Quietly staring off into the distance, without a word.\n\nAt last, I rose up from the seat. He stayed where he was but looked up at me.\n\n\"Good luck.\"\n\nThe light went from bright and hot to golden and warm. It was like the last hug from your mother on your first day to school. Comforting and nice but with a sadness behind it that you can feel but not explain, a type of melancholy that you associate with a change that you've accepted but still, in some way, wish to fight.\n\nI looked at the clock. It read that it was 11: 27. I looked at Marco, the agent assigned to me to make sure that I didn't start running or preparing before time had begun. He was a man of few words, Marco. He'd lived with me for a month and kept a constant surveillance on me and yet, whether I died or lived, I'd be sad to see him go. Constant companionship was nice, and a rarity these days.\n\nHe finally nodded. I looked at the clock again. The second hand ticked over to the 12 and it was officially 11:30. My time had begun.\n\nI grabbed a small bag and jammed it full of water, a few snacks, a map, and some matches. On my way out the door, I picked up a can of gasoline that I kept in case of emergencies. I desperately hoped that I wouldn't need anything else. I'd thought about it for a month and thought that this was my best course of action. There just couldn't be a better way. I stepped out into my front yard, and looked to my left at the beautiful pine forests. My watch read 11:49 now. Pouring a trail of gasoline all along the trail as I walked through the woods, I soon noticed that the can was pretty light. I decided to conserve what little I had left in case of an emergency. One swipe and the match lit. I short toss and an entire trail lit up in flames. The pine needles that littered the floor acted as kindling, sending raging flames up the trunks of trees.\n\nWithin seconds, it seemed the entire forest was on fire. Within minutes, the world.\n\nI kept walking through the woods, dodging the twisting flames and continuously lighting the long trials of gasoline that Jason had laid out beforehand. What a pal. Jason was the best. Not only had he helped me, he helped me before the hunt even began! That was two different life sentences he could be charged with.\n\nIt didn't take long before practically everything was on fire. I could feel the heat singeing my eyebrows and hair. All I could smell was smoke and I drank the water from my bag often. I periodically checked my watch for the time and within what seemed like a few minutes, it was noon the next day. I'd already survived 12 hours and, judging from the map, I still had another 90 miles of forest to go. Though the physical drain of the heat and the walking was taking its toll on me, it was through shear force of will that I lasted another 10 hours. Only then did I hear the dogs barking.\n\nSomehow, they'd found a way around the towering wall of flame that had consumed the forest behind me. While I doubted that they were on a trail of any sort, it seemed pretty likely to me that they had something of mine and had recovered my scent from it. The dogs were just searching now, looking for any hint of me along the trees and bushes around me. I found a spot and hunkered down in the bushes. The thicket was, for lack of a better word, thick with tangles, briars, thorns and all manner of insects and annoyances. Here is where I stayed while the fire slowly roared around me. Embers began floating towards me and landing on the leaves and pine needles that made up the forest floor. I quickly stomped out the small fires but it wasn't enough. Soon, the thicket had burst into flames and I was forced to leap out.\n\nMere seconds passed but it seemed like an eternity as I stared into the dog's eyes. With no remorse, it let out a soulful howl that I would never forget. It had found me, and everyone knew it. My options quickly went from few to none. No matter what I did, I would be found and I would be killed. But I refused to accept that. As a man in a thick SWAT uniform burst through the trees, I turned my back and ran, ran fast enough to barely hear him scream over the crackling of the flames, fast enough that the cool night air was replaced with a furnace of sweltering heat faster than my lungs could acclimate, resulting in a searing sensation all in my body.\n\nI felt the flames lick at my clothes, my body, my hair while the smoke stung my eyes and choked my lungs. I felt the fire but, for the first time, I also felt free. No longer bound by a mundane life, I felt the primal exhilaration of a life or death situation.\n\nI embraced the fire and, though I didn't know whether I would live or die in those woods, I knew at last that I had lived.", "I looked up from my newspaper and looked at the strange lad walking around with his phone in hand. My head turns to the electronics store down by the corner, where the local broadcast station was currently blaring up my face for all to see. I swear silently and readjust my mask and then wave at the young man.\n\n\"You looking for the fellow too, kid?\" I said.\n\n\"Oh, you betcha, good sir! Seemed like a fair bit of sport for the rest of meself and the lads if I do say so myself.\"\n\nRight, there was no reward for it from what I remember. Just same random ass punk telling everyone that they ought' kill me by tomorrow for a laugh. Was trending on twitter as #killchad for a while. It was funny until my girlfriend tried to slit my fucking throat about an hour ago.\n\n\"Any idea where he might've gone, boy?\" I asked, \"Friend of mine was saying he'd a gone off and hitched a ride down to Berlin a few minutes ago.\"\n\nThe boy's eyes widened a bit with a hint of curiosity. He stared at me, wondering. But of course, I was a strange hobo wearing a clown mask. What did he have to suspect?\n\n\"Yeah,\" said the boy, \"I'd have done that as well if I were him. Didn't seem like he was rich enough to head off to hide among the Americans if you ask me. Be stupid too anyway. Wouldn't survive an hour.\"\n\nI nodded and continued flipping through the paper. Local headlines read \"Eccentric billionaire plans worldwide manhunt against childhood school bully.\" Paper was real old, if I remember. From last Sunday, most likely.\n\nI checked the black and white print closer. Yup. It was Sunday alright.\n\n\"Old man,\" the boy inquired, \"You been on the hunt for a while, yeah?\"\n\nI choke up a bit, unprepared. \"Well, it only started an hour or two ago, so I suppose so.\"\n\n\"Any idea where'd he have gone if not Berlin?\" the boy pressed on.\n\nI tap my finger against my mask. My mind churned its cogs and wheels together to escape the curious youth that stood before me.\n\n\"It's about four, so I'd be at home having some tea. Assuming I were him. You tried checking his house?\"\n\nMy girlfriend was currently hiding at my flat armed with my rifle collection ready to shoot anyone who might be me trying to enter my house.\n\nHe smiles warmly, \"Thanks, sir. Completely escaped my mind!\" Then, he ran off onto the sidewalk and started for what I can only assume to be my house. Figures that the telly station had reported almost everything about me a few hours back.\n\nOh well, time to just wander around the streets while reaching out weakly like a blind man for the next few hours. \n\nEveryone knows that the best way to avoid confrontation is to just scare everyone away by acting like a strange, deranged homeless man wearing a mask and acting all friendly-like in the middle of Britain. It's like finding a self-aware kitten who enjoys big-game hunting and cold baths.\n\nIt was the perfect plan, II thought, apart from the lack of tea." ]	2
	[WP] Your 'do-over' device finally came in the mail. You can rewind time by five minutes any time you want, and you're going to use it to finally win over your crush. Unfortunately, your rival got his today, too.	[ "I sat next to Clara, glaring over at chad. He had won this round. I slammed down on my button again, listening to it make a slight hum, powering up, before it sent me flying through space time. My turn.\n\n\"Hey clara, i was wondering if you wanted to grab a drink sometime?\"\n\nShe giggled and nodded. Score! Me and Chad have been going back and forth for a couple minutes now. I think i have him stumped now! Hes been thinking for the past few minutes, while me and clara have been chatting it up. My face drops when reaches for his button and slams it down.\n\nMy heart drops in my chest.\n\nMy hand is on my button. And my button is whirring. I look up and meet the panic in his eyes, as we flash back another 5 minutes. \n\nHis hand is on the button. We share another look of terror as we flash back 5 minutes.\n\n\"What the fuck is happening?!\"\n\n\"I set mine to forward so that you wouldnt be able to undo me and clara!\" \n\nWe flashed again. This time my hand is already on the button. That awful fucking whirring noise. What are the odds we pressed our button exactly 5 minutes apart...\n\nFlash.\n\nFlash.\n\nFlash.\n\nWe flew back and forth through time like a yoyo. \n\nWe locked eyes in fear again. Me and chad were going to be here for awhile.", "Today was the day. The day I finally win her over. We had been friends since we were kids, but I have never found the right moment to tell her how I really feel. But with the arrival of my new \"Control Z\" I will be able to tell her how I feel and win her over in just 5 minutes. Well, 5 relative minutes, I am not super confident I will get it done in one try, but since I will be able to undo those 5 minutes I should be able to correct any mistakes. I just need to make sure I don't run out of charges. I figure 6 tries should be plenty though.\n\nI pack up my things and head off to school. Laura usually gets to class early and reads in the cafeteria before the first bell. That is where I will make it happen.\n\nI stop by my locker and grab the books I need for the morning. My palms start to feel a bit sweaty as I think about the upcoming conversation. The feelings of nervousness and excitement tie my stomach into knots.\n\n\"Nothing to worry about, if anything goes wrong, I can just undo it,\" I tell myself with a heavy sigh. \n\nIn the cafeteria, I find Laura and grab a seat next her. \"Hey, how's it going?\"\n\nShe looks up a bit surprised, \"Oh, hey Kevin. I didn't think you were one to get in early?\"\n\nI blush slightly, \"Well you know, just trying to be a little more prepared for class.\"\n\nThe conversation feels awkward, I quickly try to change the subject, \"so how did your weekend go?\"\n\n\"It was alright, just kinda hung out at home, took it easy. How about you?\"\n\n\"Yeah the usual, early morning practice with the team and then yard work with my dad. But I still managed to get some relaxation in. Anyway, I had something I wanted to ask you.\" My heart was pounding a million beats a second.\n\n\"hmmm, ok...\" she replied. She sounded nervous, as if she already knew and dreaded what I was about to say, but I kept going.\n\n\"I was wondering if you had a date for Prom yet? I blurted it out\n\n\"Umm, nope, at this point I may just go with some of the girls for fun.\"\n\nI swallow hard, \"Would you like to go with me?\"\n\n\"Oh that would be great. Just going as friends would just be so fun, and you will save a few bucks since I will pay for my own dinner.\" \n\nLaura smiles, completely oblivious to what I meant. I reach into my pocket and press the button the \"Control Z\" device. One attempt down.\n\nFive minutes earlier and back at my locker. I hastily toss all my stuff in and close it shut and head over the cafeteria as quickly as I can. I sit next Laura, \"Hey, how's it going?\"\n\nShe looks up a bit surprised, \"Oh, hey Kevin. I didn't think you were one to get in early?\"\n\n\"Yeah, I usually don't but I had something important I wanted to talk to you about.\" My palms were sweating again.\n\n\"Oh, ok, it must be important if it got you to school early.\" She laughed a little to herself.\n\n\"Laura, I know we have been friends for a long time, but the truth is I am in love with you!\" I almost yelled it. \n\n\"Wow,\" Laura's face turns bright red, \"Kevin that's really nice and all, but I think we are great friends and I would hate to jeopardize that.\"\n\n\"crap, I blew it.\"\n\n\"What? Kev...\" I cut her off, already hitting the button in my pocket. Two attempts down.\n\nAfter tossing my stuff back into my locker I head to the cafeteria and start up the conversation with Laura again. After exchanging some small talk I start my new approach.\n\nI take a quick breath and let it out, then turn to face her. \"Have you ever thought about our relationship?\"\n\nShe looks surprised, \"Our relationship? You mean as friends?\"\n\nI saw that coming, \"Yeah, but like we are good friends, don't you think? I mean you have always been there for me for a good laugh or a pick me up and I have been there for you at your track meets or to help with homework and even just those times when you feel like spilling all of your troubles out. Sometimes, I feel like we could be more than friends.\" I have a huge lump in my throat.\n\n\"Oh, damn Kevin, when you get up early you get emotional.\" She smiles at me, \"but I think I can see where you coming from. We do spend a lot of time together and we do get a long pretty well. Not sure I have really ever thought about it beyond that.\"\n\n\"Yeah, it's pretty crazy right?\", I am starting to lose it, my stomach is so twisted, \"but seriously, what if we just tried it once, nothing crazy just a no pressure, really chill date?\"\n\n\"Haha, wow you must be desperate, but ok, I will let you take me to the...\" \n\nJust then I saw something out of the corner of my eye. Someone standing just around the corner.\n\nI take a quick breath and let it out, then turn to face her. \"Have you ever thought about our relationship?\"\n\nShe looks surprised, \"Our relationship? You mean as friends?\"\n\nI saw that coming, \"Yeah, but like we are good friends, don't you think? I mean you have always been there for me for a good laugh or a pick me up and I have been there for you at your track meets or to help with homework and even just those times when you feel like spilling all of your troubles out. Sometimes, I feel like we could be more than...\" I pause, \"Does this feel familiar to you?\"\n\n\"Huh, what do you mean?\" Laura looks as confused as I feel. I could have sworn I was about to have a date planned with her.\n\n\"Oh hey guys!\" Derek comes half jogging into the cafeteria and walks right up to us. \"Fancy seeing both of you this early.\"\n\nHe must have a Control Z too. I reach into my pocket and hit the button, three charges down.\n\nStarting back at my locker, I run to the cafeteria. I know what to say, I just have to get to Laura and get through the conversation before Derek has a chance to set me back. I knew he could reset after I get the answer, but maybe if I am fast enough I can get through it and then stop him.\n\nStill out of breath I start up the conversation from before. It goes as planned. I try rushing it along a bit. Checking my watch I estimate I am about 30 seconds ahead of where he interrupted.\n\n\"Haha, wow you must be desperate, but ok, I will let you take me to the concert this weekend. Deal?\" Laura sat smiling up at me.\n\n\"Deal, but I got to go.\" I turn towards the hall Derek came from before and head to it. \n\nRight as I reach the corner he rounds nearly plowing me over, we both fall. \"Hey watch it dude!\"\n\nDerek sits up, \"wait, how did you...?\" I see him reach for his pocket. \n\nI jump at him and grab his hand and pin it to the ground. With his other hand he punches, trying to get me to let go. I hold on for the first few hits, and then block one. Laura run's up yelling for us to stop. But we won't, both of us know that this whole scene won't even exist once we reset the last 5 minutes again. I pull away and reach into my own pocket and press the button, four charges down.\n\nI end up back in the middle of the conversation with Laura\n\nShe looks surprised, \"Our relationship? You mean as friends?\"\n\n\"Not quite, but can you give me five minutes?\" I walk towards the hallway again. \n\nI wait a minute and Derek does come, then I hear his voice from the Cafeteria.\n\n\"Oh hey Laura, how's it going today?\" Derek is standing next her seat. \"I thought I would come in early so I could talk to you.\"\n\nI run up, \"Derek, what the hell are you doing?\" My face was hot and red. I felt like steam was pouring from ears.\n\n\"What do you mean? I just came in early to see if Laura wanted to go out with me this weekend.\" He turns to her, \"Maybe a concert?\"\n\n\"That's not what I mean you ass, you have been using a Control Z!\"\n\n\"Well if I have so have you!\"\n\nWe both stand there staring each other down. Laura is looking down at her phone, swiping away. She finally puts it down. \n\n\"You idiots!\" She hastily reaches into her bag and pulls out a small device, it looks a lot like the Control Z I had been using, but is a bit larger.\n\nStarting back at my locker, I run to the cafeteria. I know what to say, I just have to get to Laura and get through the conversation before Derek has a chance to set me back. I knew he could reset after I get the answer, but maybe if I am fast enough I can get through it and then stop him.\n\nI start up the conversation with Laura, but she interrupts, \"Just sit down and wait Kevin.\"\n\nI do what she says, a bit confused and all of a sudden feeling guilty. After a few minutes Derek comes running into the Cafeteria. Laura tells him to sit down and shut up before he even says anything. He grabs a seat next to me, we both just stare at Laura, wondering what is going on. The pit in my stomach is growing.\n\nLaura looked at us sternly, \"Did you think you were the only ones with Control Zs?\"" ]	2
Idea formed by /u/orost from a top post in /r/CrazyIdeas	[WP] You ask the stranger next to you to "watch your bag," without leaving. "after the last time we aren't allowed to have just one person watch it." you add hesitantly.	[ "\"Hey there, I have to run to the restroom. Can you watch my bag?\"\n\n\"Um... sure. It's not a bomb is it?\"\n\nI laugh, \"no no no. I just have to go to the restroom real quick.\" I start to walk away, but then I remember. \"Oh yeah, after the last time, we aren't allowed to have just one person watch it\" I say hesitantly. I instantly walk away relatively fast because I don't want him to deny.\n\n\"Hey!\" he yells, \"HEY!\" but I enter the restroom. God I hope he listens. Last time was a disaster. Thankfully, it's relatively crowded building... it should be okay. As long as he listens. He may have to board an earlier bus. I guess we'll see. I need to check my email real quick. I open my corporate email client, and see 20 unread emails. I quickly scan the top few.\n\n\"GET VIAGRA FREE! DON'T STOP BECAUSE IT WON'T DROP!\"\n\n\"FREE LAPTOPP! 100% FREE! JUST PAY FOR SHIPPING HANDLING!\"\n\n\"*TOP SECRET*: NEW HANDLING PROCEDURES\"\n\nOh shit, I better open that. Sent this morning. Shit shit shit. I hope I didn't just kill that guy. I open the email and it asks for my 16 digit PIN. I enter my randomly generated PIN 0846318453021579. Then it asks for my fingerprint. Damn, this one must be a bit deal. I scan my fingerprint.\n\nThe email opens and it reads:\n\n\"TERMINATE SUBJECT IMMEDIATELY!\n\nWe have received scattered reports that subject 148723 has been acting abnormally. There are no more safe handling procedures, as the subject is hostile for no apparent reason. The subject must be terminated immediately to sustain human life, and to lessen the amount of casualities.\n\nDO NOT ALLOW THE SUBJECT TO REMAIN ALIVE AT THIS TIME.\"\n\nFuck. I pull up my pants, no wiping today. I sprint as fast as I can to the door.\n\nBlood everywhere. There are bodyparts everywhere and I can't see one white piece of wall or tile anywhere. \n\n\"Help...\" someone says meekly.\n\nI run over to them. \"What happened?!\" \n\n\"Bomb... something... not sure...\" and then their head falls to the ground limply. I run to where I left the bag and see it is opened. Fucking idiot opened the bag. Of course he did. Even with all these people, opening that bag would kill them. If I had read that damn email earlier. \n\n\"Hello, handler\" I hear. I turn around and see him. Her. It. Whatever! I forgot how damn tall it was. At least three times my height. I see blood dripping from all over it's body. While it usually is obsidian black, now it is an extremely dark red. \"I think you forgot something.\" \n\nI see it's hand swiping towards me. Then darkness envelopes everything." ]	1
	[WP] "Silly goose, don't you get it? You ARE the prize!"	[ "\"What?\" I asked.\nWayne Brady rephrased \"Behind door number 3, you are the prize!\"\nAs I looked into the mirror, I thought about all the things that had to happen for me to get to this moment. That Kerri and I had to plan a trip to L.A. That the plane tickets had to be nonrefundable. That Kerri and I had to get into a big fight. What was it even about? I can't remember, something unimportant but in the moment seemed so. That we had to break up. That I had to move out. That I had to stay in bed for a week. That I had to cry. A lot. That my brother had to lift me out of bed a literally hose me off. That I flew. That I walked. That I was ushered cattle-like into a film studio. That the light blared, the sound deafened. That my name was called. \n\"Door 1, 2, 3 or keep the cash?\"\nCash? I didn't realize there was a wad of hundreds in my hand.\n\"3\"\nBecause to paraphrase an old song, 3 is just as bad as one but the loneliest number is the number one. Actually that's a direct quote. So to phrase an old song.\n\"Alright\" Wayne said clearly trying to keep the energy up \"let's see what you missed out on!\"\nJonathan announced the Ford Truck behind door 1. The audience was disappointed for me. I was disappointed in me.\nBehind door 2 was a home basketball set. I didn't have a home anymore more.\nWayne teed up the door 3 announcement. \"Let's hope your luck hasn't run out!\"\nThe wall raised and an old mirror stood there. \n\"A mirror\" I stated. No emotion, just fact.\nWayne, ever the professional, \"No silly goose, don't you get it? You ARE the prize!\"\n\"What?\" I asked.\nWayne Brady rephrased \"Behind door number 3, you are the prize!\"\nThe audience laughed. Wayne threw to commercial. No one wants to see a grown man weep.\n\"Are you okay?\" Wayne asked.\n\"I thought I was a zonk\" I explained, letting myself hurt but knowing that today was the first day of the rest of my life." ]	1
	[WP]Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Literally	[ "It was war. \n\nWe, the great Alpha Tribe, greatest of all tribes, and rulers of Mars emerged from the caves of the red dunes. Fifty packs of us men ran ran with red dirt-covered bodies and red-stone spears in our hands. In the valley below lie our enemies...\n\nThe Venusarians. Strange Males bent on our destruction. They have invaded before and we sent them far away. We even caught some of them before, captured them and ate them. Their air-carriage landed on our planet once again and it was time for war. \n\nWe all ran to the bottom of the mountains where a large, flat plain lie. Ducking behind boulders and I peeked over the edge to get a look. Last time these Venusarians came I was too young to fight.\n\n\"Watch out for their craft,\" my father whispered. \"They make you feel strange just by looking at some of them!\"\n\nI was speechless as I watched their air-carriage open. Then I saw it, a Venusarian, step off the carriage. It dressed as we dressed, with only a cloth covering its sacred parts. I looked and noticed large protrusions from its chest. Suddenly, I was pulled down. \n\n\"Don't look anymore!\" I could see the fear in his red-dirt covered face. \"They lure you in with the craft until you are captured and then they kill you!\" \n\nI could say nothing. I wanted to look at the other Venusarians coming off the carriage.\n\nHe let go of my arm and peeked over the boulders. After a few minutes he sunk down again. His breath was hard, as running. \"They...\" He started. \"They are many and are different this time.\"\n\n\"What do you mean?\" I asked.\n\nIn between breathes he uttered, \"They... they are like US this time. Not in the strange cloth like before.\"\n\n\"Can I see them again?\"\n\n\"Quickly.\" He granted.\n\nI peered over the coarse rock, spear still in hand. A pack of the Venusarians were out looking around. And like father said they were all dressed as Alpha Tribe. My eyes landed on one of the Venusarians with large protrusions on both the chest and backside. My heart started beating faster and faster the longer I beheld this particular Venusarian. Then my head began to buzz and I knew I was under their craft. I couldn't stop looking. \n\n\"Get down here!\" My father demanded.\n\nI dropped my spear. \n\n\"Son! Listen to me! Please!\"\n\nHe gripped my arm but it was too late. I was going to die. I felt my feet move. My whole body stood up. I was no longer in control of my actions. The Venusarians had me under their craft. \n\n\"They will capture you and skin you alive! Son! Please!\" \n\nMy fathers pleas didn't stop me. As if pulled by some invisible rope, I began to walk towards the particular Venusarian with the protrusions on both sides. I stepped over the boulder and walked across the plain. \n\nBehind me I could hear the screams of my fellow tribe members but I couldn't understand them. The buzzing in my head began to ring in my ears. I was sure to die. \n\nAhead, the particular Venusarian with the protrusions noticed me. It pointed at me and began to walk to me too. The others followed. \n\nI swallowed but my throat was dry. I could see them skinning me alive with a rock in my head. Like we do with the creatures here. \n\nThe particular Venusarian was now running at me. There were no weapons in it's hands, no rocks for skinning. \n\nDoesn't need weapons when it uses craft, I remembered. These Strange Males were so advanced they didn't need physical things to kill. Or skin.\n\nFinally, halfway in the plain, the Venusarian charged at me. I closed my eyes so as not to see my own death when-\n\nNothing. \n\nI opened my eyes. The Venusarian stood before me, staring. My head buzzed harder than ever. I wondered if the crafter was using it's craft on me to explode my head before it skinned me.\n\nIn a high voice it said, \"I am Woman of planet Venus.\" She pointed to the sky. \n\nMy face twisted in confusion. Woman did not explode my head. \"I am Alpha Male.\" I beat my chest to show I talked about me.\n\nThe other Womans joined, standing behind. \n\nI asked, \"Why do you come to kill us?\"\n\nThe first Woman continued, \"We no come to kill. We come to understand Man and to mate.\"\n\nNow I knew Woman was no good! It wanted to do to us what only creatures do to each other! There were strange high giggles from the Womans behind the first Woman. They down pointed at my cloth. I looked and noticed my own protrusion under the creature skin sticking straight out. I smacked it. It was hard as a rock! They used their craft!\n\n\"What did you do!\" I demanded.\n\nWoman stepped closer to me. \"Only what you are suppose to do.\"\n\nI couldn't stop it. Woman stepped closer, leaned over and touched my lips with it's lips. My heart beat faster and head spun harder. My arms were forced by its craft to grab it and hold it as our lips meshed together. \n\nIt was then that I knew I had been captured." ]	1
	[WP] Sent from the heavens, The Flood happens. In a matter of days, immense seas cover most of Earth. The last of humanity resides on the peaks of the Himalayas, the highest points on Earth. But the water still rises.	[ "Still rising. \nYeah. \nYeah. \n... \nSo? \nFucked if I know. Mentioned it. Don't know why. Too fucking cold. Too fucking hungry. Can't breathe. Can't sleep. \nYeah. \nYeah. \n... \nJon died. \nI know. \nYeah. I know you know. \nSo? \nChecked him over. \nYeah? And? \nThere's a bit. Freeze fast. Enough for a few days. \nAll right. All right. You gonna do it? \nNo. What for? \nEat a few more days? \nFor what? Freeze a little longer? No. No. \nNo? \nNo. I'm going to go for a swim, instead. \nAll right. \nThanks. You've been my friend. \nI know. \nI want you to know that. \nI know. \nI means a lot to me. \nI know. I know. \nThanks. Perhaps I'll see you again? \nMaybe. Who knows? \nYeah. \nI hope so. Shake my hand before you go? \nYeah. Take care. \nI will. \nOne favour? \nSure. \nSave me last? If it happens like that? \nSure, man. I will. \nThank you." ]	1
	[WP] A brutal war that has been waged for many years started with a checkers game.	[ "“Just tell me why the war started!” He yelled, so loudly the stained pictures in the walls shook with his voice covering me in more shame than I could ever imagine. I wont tell him. Ive held out this long, death will come tonight.\n \nI look over at the man in front of me. \n Robes of the noble, and an education to match, carrying my sword I know my kingdom will be in good hands with my son. He would have thrived if it were not for the quaralls of old men. I raise my tired eyes to his, for what my will hopes is the last time, “No” I whisper. \n“NO.” the rage he has kept hidden so long has finally risen. His eyes glaze over and his scar down his left looks more prominent than ever. Had he really been hurt that bad? \n“NO” He shouted, lunging for me. He grabbed my night robed from under my blanket and picked me up. Just months ago he could not have done this, and by his eyes, I know he knows this. The rage has left him slightly but the years of war and sacrifice will never go away. \n“Tell me old man” he says. We both know how this night will end. We both know that I am to die tonight but shall it be in my sleep or at the hands of my war torn boy? \nI think back to that night, I allow the memories to surface. God let the shame take me before I must speak. \n“ Father” says my son as he reaches for his belt, “Just tell me, this war needs to end and I can not agree to meet them if I do not know why they want me! Did we murder there son? Is that why they want me?” I see his panic now. The rage gone and tears are in there place as I realize why he is so scared. I never told him how serious this war was, ever since he was a boy he just knew we were fighting for our lives, for our kingdom. But now he has questions, he is old enough for the crown and I am to old to tell him, I can do him no go\n“Uhhah” I stuttered with what energy I had left. I looked up, not in horror, but admiration at my lands new king.\nsobbing he asked me for what was the final time, “Father, please”\n“He beat me.” I felt a weight lift from myself as I took my last breath, “at checkers.” ", "Two Kings sat beneath the dim torchlight as the wind wailed outside. Gusts of chilled air swirled around them. They sat, opposite one another, with the black and white board laid out on the table before them. The game that would decide the fate of the Kingdoms.\n\n\"Your move, Regnik.\" The first growled, clenching his teeth as he stared into the young King's eyes.\n\nBuralick, the older of the two brothers, was considerably stockier and his arms were as big as tree trunks. Veins throbbed in his biceps as he snatched the mug and slurped the last of the ale. He slammed the wooden mug down and tightened his grip.\n\nRegnik looked at him, smiling as he watched the liquid trickle down and disappear in his furry beard. His brother had always been impatient, strong and quick tempered. He was not, by virtue, very smart. He was the one who inhereted those genes. It was a wonder that they were even blood related. \n\nAs they continued playing this game, Regnik couldn't help but feel slightly guilty for denying his Brother the rightful throne he was destined for. After his Father's death, he knew Buralick would cause famine and pain for the majority of the lands and he couldn't sit by and watch it happen. His ideology on the \"Glory of Sunshine\" and how everyone should worship the Sun instead of actually labouring and harvesting for the fast approaching winter, was sure to cause disaster. He had to step in.\n\nRegnik picked up the black cylinder, dancing it around his forefinger and middle finger before taking one of Buralick's pieces. He threw the white piece away and listened to it as it bounced noisily on the stone floor.\n\nFlames continued to dance and cast ominous shadows on the walls as the night grew darker still. Somewhere in the distance, a winged shadow shrieked as it spun in the air and disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. A Siren. Common in these parts of the lands but very dangerous in the dark. They were lucky to be inside.\n\n\"Haha, wrong move Brother.\" Buralick chuckled and licked his lips. A grin formed, revealing a crooked row of yellow teeth. He moved one of his pieces across the board taking 2 of Regnik's pieces. He glanced at his brother's skinny face, expecting a look of dismay. Instead, a lazy smile greeted him. He struggled to maintain his composure as Regnik smoothly moved another of his pieces forward, blocking his advance.\n\n\"By the Fires of Altmore remember. This is a game of life. You advance, I block. I attack and you defend. Just like life.\"\n\n\"Except ya deceiving me. The throne is MINE.\"\n\n\"The throne is not yours,\" Regnik rose his eyes from the board and focued on his brother's. Beads of sweat formed on his brow and his cheeks turned pink with anger. Regnik spoke clearly and calmly.\n\n\"The throne, dear Brother, belongs to me. I am the smarter of u--\"\n\n\"I AM THE STRONGER!\" Buralick slammed his fist on the table, causing a crack to form where his knuckles dented the wood. A sickening split sounded as he picked up his stool and threw it against the wall. It smashed into a thousand pieces. Buralick panted. Regnik watched, unblinking and unphased.\n\n\"Strength is not measurable to power, Brother. Power comes from those who know how to govern and control a land. You are a warrior, always have been, always will be. I will not deny that birthright for you.\" Regnik paused, studying his Brother's face in the orange light. Another gust of wind brought the faint glimmer of rain. He ignored it.\n\n\"What you cannot deny is that I have the words and the wit to outmanuever you on the field, in these silly games you devise and on the throne. It will be mine before this night is over.\"\n\nBuralick had heard enough. He growled in anger and grabbed the table, flipping it on its side. The white and black pieces littered the ground as they crunched under his boots. He stood toe to toe with Regnik, the smell of ale rank on his breath.\n\n\"I will destroy you on Palenta Fields. Gather your armies and march at sunrise on the second Frostbite. I will be ready for you.\" They shook hands reluctantly and stared at each other, marking the start of war.\n\n\"So be it. War it is and War it shall be.\" The flames continued to crackle." ]	2
	[WP] In the future, humans are capable to stream their dreams. Those who are capable of lucid dreaming make the most money out of it. You're an amateur, unknown streamer who wakes up to find themself having the highest ratings ever recorded.	[ "My navigator screams as I dodge the enemy fighters and approach the target. I squeeze the trigger and smile as the sky lights up. Oh boy, is the Princess going to want to -\n\n\"Beep, beep.\"\n\n\"Shut up you stupid droid.\"\n\n\"Beep, beep, BEEP.\"\n\nHuh? Oh, morning again. Sorry guys, I have to leave you hanging.\n\n----\n\nAh, another \"satisfying\" day. Goodnight, moon.\n\n----\n\n\"Hmm... I guess I'll choose this cup. Oh, hey. I'm still alive. Smell you later, loser. Don't worry dad, I'm coming!\"\n\n\"Beep, beep.\"\n\n\"Not now. Just let the cup go, ok? Let it go. I need to -\"\n\n\"Beep, beep, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.\"\n\nHuh? It's not morning yet.\n\n\"Congratulations, Streamer 23007, you have surpassed the record set by 'Olympic Athletes and You'! Please choose a name to continue.\"\n\n\"Uh... Well, I really wasn't expecting this. I was just doing reruns of some old movies...\"\n\n\"Name saved, Streamer 23007! Thank you for using ViewTube!\"\n\n\n ", "I wake to the taste of blood, trickling down my throat - nosebleed, fuck! I’ve been woken up by nosebleeds on and off for the past seven years; one of the wonderful side effects of my sleeping pills. I shove two scrunched up tissues in my nostrils and check my phone for the latest dreampods. \n\nI look up PeteyBoy23 first as always. He’s a bit of a dick and I’d never admit he was my favourite podder but there’s something about his sick sense of humour. Plus, he said at the end of yesterday’s pod that he was going to play cat football in this one. I strap on my specs and hit play. \n\nThe lazy fucker, he hasn’t streamed it yet. Imagine earning all that money and being able to lie in on a Wednesday. Well, he’s not getting my view today. It’ll have to be DragonSlayerSue - bit heavy for first thing in the morning but fuck it. \n\nI pluck one of the tissues out of my nostril to see if it’s stopped bleeding. I take the other out and lie back to listen to Sue’s children’s TV presenter voice.\n\n“Hello lovelies! Are you all ready to slay another dragon? If you want to get any of the armour I’m wearing, it’s all been supplied by the LOVELY people of Topshop and I’ve got a mad discount code for you beautiful viewers” \n\nI sigh. It’s yesterday’s bloody episode.\n\nI reset the router and check all my other favourite podders. Nothing. I check the podders I watch when I’m on a long flight. Nothing. I even check the podders I watched when I was a kid; all now in their forties but still dreaming up unicorns and silly songs about farts. Nothing. \n\nI ring up DreamFactory’s customer helpline but it rings out. I try some of my friends who are amateur podders but there’s no answer. It must be this shitty phone, I knew I should’ve taken that upgrade. \n\nSomeone must have streamed their dream last night, surely! I decide to change the search parameters to videos only uploaded today. Thank fuck, there is one. Four and a quarter billion views! Man, everyone must have been watching this instead of streaming themselves.\n\nI shove my specs on and hit play. It’s a point of view dreampod. They haven’t been popular since I was a student but I’m craving watching a fresh pod so much at this point that the lack of presenter doesn’t really bother me. \n\nThe first few minutes are a boring walk through a forest until I see her. Dragon Slayer Sue. She’s there in the distance chatting about how people can find her own brand t-shirts on her website. She turns towards the camera.\n\n“How the fuck did you get in here?!”\n\nWhoever this podder I’m watching is doesn’t reply, they just stride towards her. \n\n“I don’t know how you’ve got in my dream but you need to get out now mate”\n\nThen I see the podder’s arms and the podder’s hands, stretching out towards Sue’s throat. As the hands tighten around her windpipe, their familiarity suddenly startles me. \n\nMy nose begins to bleed. ", "I wiped the corners of my eyes and stretched my arms, trying to muster the energy to rise out of bed. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my tablet blinking silently on my desk, where it sat charging on its stand. I looked at the clock on my ceiling. 6 AM. I had a couple of hours until I had to be at the office, and I heavily contemplated the idea of pulling the covers back up over my head, but a tugging in my gut made me glance back over at my desk again. My tablet was vibrating every couple of seconds now. A wave of anxiety washed over me, and I rolled over to my feet and stood up. I walked to my desk, nearly tripping on the cords and sandals, cursing under my breath, until I finally leaned over my tablet, squinting into the sudden brightness.\n\n \n\n \n\nDraumur, as it is now called, was an app developed a few decades ago by some college students from MIT and since then it had been bought and sold by dozens of companies. Eventually the government seized control of the dream-capture software, citing security and privacy concerns as the reason. One of the world’s most popular apps fell dark, and while there was some initial outcry and concern, public attention is a fickle beast, and some shiny, new distraction was all it took for society to mostly forget about it. For years, incredible leaps in technology and user experience bombarded the population, and only a few individuals, mostly confined to the recesses of conspiracy forums in the bowels of the web, were able to predict what was to come next.\n\n \n\n \n\nDraumur burst back onto the scene eight years ago. Being touted as a reimagining of the classic app by a beloved tech giant, it was of little secret that the government probably still had its hands in the software, collecting and mining the dreams of its users. But what Draumur now offered made almost everyone, including myself, forget about my concerns. We were now able to use it to make money.\n\n \n\n \n\nHow it worked, technology aside, was actually pretty simple. Like countless viewer supported platforms before it, Draumur worked by taking people’s creations and placing them on a website for anyone to watch, with the small caveat that the viewer had to see an ad or two first. Some of that ad revenue was passed on to the dreamer, and a worldwide phenomenon was born. This ad scheme was nothing new, in fact it had been going on for over a hundred years. The big difference now, however, was that the dreams were captured and uploaded with zero effort, zero production cost. There was nothing needed to become a hit, just your imagination and an internet connection. The ability to capture your dreams, put them online, and make money was too good of an opportunity to pass up, and Draumur became a gold rush.\n\n \n\n \n\nFor the first few years, dreams we have all experienced were the norm. Sexual desires, delusions of grandeur, situations of embarrassment and the occasional dark revenge fantasy were the champions of this new industry. Drugs were created that stimulated the dream center of the brain, artists and creatives worked tirelessly to innovate, and lucid dreamers were able to create movies in their minds, fulfilling the wishes of their viewers, bending the narrative on a whim. The application was even adjusted to allow daydreams, those thoughts on the cusp of semi-consciousness, to be uploaded, giving even more control to the content creators. Just in the past year, leaks started circulating about a system that would allow viewers to interact with their dreamers, somehow influencing their decisions during their dreams, but Draumur quickly squashed this as an impossible rumor.\n\nThis was about the time that I got involved in the program. I wasn’t a programmer, a creative, or an artist. I wasn’t a lucid dreamer. I wasn’t a sexual deviant. I set up the app, which was almost hilariously simple, considering the implications that come with tapping into the human psyche. I set it to autosave my dreams, and then they were posted out there for the world to see. Any hesitation I had to share my closest secrets through my dreams was quieted by the sheer volume and debauchery readily available on Draumur, and aside from a few key figures, most dreamers’ posts went largely ignored. Once a week, a meager check of a few dollars showed up in my account, viewer activity probably created by bots. My interest in the program lasted exactly one week.\n\n \n\n \n\nThis sudden, mass interest in the actions of sleeping humans created a species of zombies, sleeping as often as possible, waking only to eat, work, and watch videos. As none of it was real, everything was legal, and regular life seemed bland by comparison. The world had irreversibly changed as people no longer watched movies on Netflix together in the evenings after work, they now watched dozens of dreams about becoming trillionaires, traveling to distant planets, killing their enemies, or sleeping with their coworkers. I felt separated from everyone else now. At work I seemed to have no idea what my coworkers would be talking about, my friends only talked about the new top post on their favorite dream aggregator, and my family were so engrossed that I hadn’t heard much from them for weeks. To try to help me sleep, each night I would have the same thoughts, playing through a simple scenario in my head. It would usually work, in an hour or two. But for a week, it felt different. I’d start to drift but I’d suddenly wake, having to start over again, and I fell into the deep throes of insomnia, sleeping only in the wee hours of each morning. Four days ago, after watching a movie, I went to bed, prepared to lay awake for hours, screaming silently at how tired I felt, but unable to sleep. I fell right asleep. I have slept soundly every day since.\n\n \n\n \n\nAs I stared at my tablet, I saw messages from my friends and family, the few I still had. I also had a few missed calls. This was unusual, especially for this time of day, but what drew my attention was an email from Draumur, my weekly check. But instead of the normal subject line, depicting the bleak financial output that was to come, the email said CONGRATULATIONS! As I continued to read, I slowly slid down to the floor, leaning back against the legs of my desk, reading that in the past week, my channel became a sensation. I had earned $1.2 million. This couldn’t be real! I quickly thought back over any dreams I might have had over the last week, fearful that some unimaginably dark fantasy had played out, which would embarrass my family or get me fired. But then I saw an email my friend from work sent me, a link to an article. Clicking on it brought up an image of my account, and within it a video. It was a video of my daydream, with a news anchor commenting over it. On the screen I watched my daydream unfold, learning that in the past week, the aforementioned leak was real. Some hackers somewhere on the other side of the world found a way to tap into dreams and communicate with the dreamer, if only in subtle ways. As I continued to watch, I also learned that my daydream was turned into a game, with hackers around the world controlling my actions in the dream, with a nudge here and a whisper there. My dream was watched by millions as coordinated groups of hackers worked towards their goal, or against others.\n\n \n\n \nI learned that there was a prize on my head. Not in a violent way, but in an equally dangerous one. In an attempt to boost awareness of the dangers of the Draumur program, an anonymous donor was going to give $1 million to whoever could get me the farthest through my dream. For a week, because of my silly version of counting sheep, I was the butt of a worldwide joke. Some hackers worked together, driving me forward, as others tried to sabotage their attempts. More and more viewers watched my channel, learning about the event from their peers. I was kept in the dark. Eventually, someone was able to prove they were the one to drive me farthest through my dream, and a few days later, they were quietly paid. Then the news story broke. \n \n\n \n\nI sat quietly for a while, as I tried to make sense of what I just heard. As the video came to an end and began to loop again, I glanced down to it. And there I saw my daydream unfold, the small bird flapping its wings as it moved through each gate, counting as it went." ]	3
	[WP] Stalin faked the military purges of WW2, instead he silently transferred them to where they will be needed most. On another world to fight off a great threat.	[ "\"Huh. Well I can honestly say I wasn't expecting that.\" Said Mission Commander Hayes. He was to be the first man to step foot on Mars, or so he thought. When the Mars lander's airlock opened it was pretty clear that this was not the case. From the satellite images it looked like this area had been hit with a massive meteor barrage and so NASA thought why not send the first Marian astronauts there so they can collect not only Mars rocks but samples from the asteroids as well. As Commander Hayes looked out over the rust covered landscape it was shockingly obvious that not meteor shower caused this.\n\nThe area had been fortified by someone or something into a makeshift defensive perimeter. What was initially thought to be craters caused by space rocks was now revealed to be dug out trenches and blasts from mortar fire.\n\n\"Uh, NASA, what the hell are we seeing?\" Hayes asked into his headset.\n\nAstronaut Mike Dexter stepped out of the shuttle behind his commander, \"Yeah this is Dexter asking the same thing.\"\n\nHayes walked a little further out into the ruined battlefield. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted something that despite almost completely covered up with dust from years of being out here managed to catch his eye. He walked over to it and started to uncover the thing.\n\nEventually he'd removed enough of the dust to reveal what it was he was looking at and it scared him so bad it made him jump back. \"Holy!\" Hayes exclaimed.\n\nAstronaut Dexter walked over to where he was and looked at the thing sticking out of the sand. It was a spacesuit. An extremely old spacesuit that looked like it had been ripped to shreads, and written on it were the letters CCCP. \n\n\n\"Huh,\" Said Dexter, \"I guess this really is the Red planet after all.\"" ]	1
Was toying with this concept today while at work and wanted too see if someone could write a piece on it.	[WP] Every person on earth (at the same time) loses the ability to repair damaged tissue, except you, but why?	[ "You know, I never really understood the whole ‘animal rights PETA’ bullshit and all the ranting and raving about how animals deserved better conditions. They were mindless creatures that were used for a product that humans wanted; why did they deserve better living conditions than those working in sweatshops overseas?\n\nBut, you see, when you are forced—because let’s make that clear, there is nothing voluntary going on here—into those conditions, experiencing firsthand just how bad the conditions are for farming livestock, you get it. You experience the fear that makes your muscles tense up and become less than the buttery, fall off the bone, tenderness than people want. You experience the shitty (literally) living conditions, the force-feeding, the feeling of people stripping you of something that should only be given voluntarily by holding you down and sedating you. \n\nBut you don’t feel it, do you? You don’t understand. You are not locked up in a box every minute of every fucking day, staring at a blank wall as the tube shoved down your throat pumps more nutrient paste down your fucking throat to keep your muscles and skin strong and healthy. You don’t understand the mind-numbing repetition of farmers constantly buzzing around you to make sure you are in tip-top shape.\n\nBecause that’s what it all really boils down to, doesn’t it? They’re farming me for my organs, my skin, my muscles, and my bone marrow; basically anything they can get their hands on and sell to the highest bidder. It’s pretty sick, when you think about it, how desensitised to the fact that I am being sold bit by bit, but not too much, as I am worth more dead than alive.\n\nIt all really started when one day everyone’s cells just decided to take a little vacation. Sure, they kept us alive still, flushing us of the dead ones and replacing it with the healthier ones, but when you got a cut that was it. Forever marred by whatever injury you obtained.\n\nPeople didn’t really catch onto it until people started dying of easily treatable injuries. A woman in her 40s dies from a papercut gone septic; a teenager dies from drinking so much his liver cells refuse to cure the damage. All these senseless, easily fixed deaths popping up like clockwork across the globe because our cells refused to knit back the damage we did.\n\nCults freaked the fuck out, calling this some sort of sign from whatever doomsday gods they believed in to stop harming our bodies. Others took it as a sign of human extinction; our biological clock was done with us, so obviously we had to jump ship and off ourselves.\n\nThat’s when the panic and looting started. Hospitals were not tasked with healing anymore, as that shit was impossible to do now, but to try to avoid infection for as long as you could. Bigwigs everywhere freaked and stopped coming to work, workers went on strike because already unsafe conditions now spelt death out in flashing red letters.\n\nIt wasn’t long until the world called out for people who could still grow tissue, whether for farming or religious purposes was still unclear at the time. Well, unclear until the first person claiming to regenerate was found a week later, body twisted and mangled and littered with gashes and stabs with the words ‘liar’ painted across their back.\n\nAnd then I happened. Or more accurately, my brother decided it’d be funny to give me a papercut. Except, instead of dying it just scabbed over and replaced with new skin. Ready for his newfound fame and popularity, he shared this tidbit with his classmates, boasting proudly of his Wonder Sibling that could regenerate tissue at a pace even faster than that of old. \n\nIt wasn’t long before my mother was crying in the kitchen as they took me away; my father didn’t even look at me, he was too busy eyeing the cheque they cut out to him to cover any ‘damages’ they would incur after I left. Correction: was taken.\n\nI’ve been here ever since. For an exact amount of time, I can’t tell you; time blends together here, measured in the amount of times I watch the paste get pumped into my throat through the tube, the amount of times they tear skin off me, the amount of times they suck the bone marrow out of me. \n\nBut, I have to go now. It’s time for the harvest.\n\n(sorry for any typos / formatting errors! hope you liked it)" ]	1
Write about either side i don't care which.	[WP] Adults have declared war on kids.	[ "“I don’t want to hurt them, Jack,” I whispered from behind the bed. He was at the door, listening for little footsteps to fall in the hallway.\n\n\n“It’s them or us,” Jack whispered. “You made the oath, now you have to stick with it.” He emptied a glass of water and stuck it between his ear and the door, the way he taught our son to do it when he spied on our daughter. Jack taught our kids all of his tricks. I hope that wouldn’t come back to bite us.\n\n\nI picked up the pistol Jack laid on the bed for me. He bought it to protect our family after our house was broken into years ago. Now it’s to protect us from our family. \n\n\n“They’re still our kids, Jack,” I said. Jack leaned into the door. “Maybe we can talk to them. Tell them that we still love them. Maybe we can convince them to leave with us.”\n\n\nJack turned away from the door, setting the cup quietly on the dresser. \n\t\n\n“They killed your parents, Jess,” he said. “They shot your mom in the head with a kid sized arrow.” \n\n\n“I know,” I whispered.\n\n\n“They hog-tied your dad and threw him in his own lake, using his own boat and the very knots he taught them how to make. They’re not kids, they’re monsters.”\n\n\nI nodded and bit my lip. I knew what they did was wrong, but they were my babies. No matter what they did, no matter how horrible, I couldn’t be expected to hurt them. I’m their mother. \n\n\n“It’s us or them,” Jack said. “This whole war is us or them. And I’m not about to lose the only part of my family I have left. I love you.”\n\n\n“I love them,” I whispered. \n\n\nSilence hung heavy in the room until Jack lifted the cup off of the dresser. He held it up to the door and rested his ear on the other end.\n\n \n“Shit!” Jack jumped and dropped the glass. It shattered on the ground. “I heard laughing,” he said. He ran over to the bed and picked up the gun, aiming it towards the door. “Get behind me.”\n\n\nI heard the glass rolling on the floor. It sounded like it was behind me, near the closet. I turned around, hoping to stop the cup before it made too much sound and alerted the kids.\n\n\nThere, in the doorway of the closet, was the silhouette of a child. \n\t\n\n“I love you too, Mommy,” a soft voice whispered. \t“But it’s us or them.”\n" ]	1
	[WP] When a sky-whale dies, and its carcass comes to rest in civilized lands, wars are fought over the remains. This is called a "whale fall".	[ "An old man and his son waited on a cold hillside for 3 days, waiting in preparation for the celestial being to finally grace the surface of the Earth. Whale Falls, that's what they were known as. Human civilization had stripped the planet of most valuable resources ages ago, very few things were left that were worth fighting for. This was one of them. \n\"Father!\" Ajin shouted out. \"How much longer do you think we'll have to wait?\" \nThe old man kept his gaze fixated on the horizon, and spoke without making any movement. \n\"We will wait as long as we must. We cannot let this one escape from our hands.\" \nAjin and his family had not been successful in ever claiming possession over one of the fallen beasts. Strong tribes would always overpower the small group and would leave nothing behind, not even mere scraps. Food had become increasingly scarce over the past few moons. Ajin and his father both held the responsibility of providing for their family; they did not want to come home empty handed yet again. \n\"We've been here for three days!\" The young man exclaimed. \"How can we even be sure that the sky-whale is going to come down any time soon?\" \nHis father said nothing. Ajin let out a sigh and realized his plight was futile. They were desperate. They would be more useful to the family if they did not return rather than to return empty handed. This was their last hope. \nThen, suddenly, as if the gods were hearkening unto Ajin's prayer, the great beast began to descend from the heavens. \n\"Go!\" Ajin's father was frail and old, his bones could hardly support his body. His son was to be the one who would carry out their mission. \"Be sure to retrieve the heart above all else!\" \nAjin already knew this. He and his father had gone over the plan countless times in preparation for this opportunity. If he could retrieve anything that could be used as fuel or food, it would be an added bonus, but the heart was the true prize. It was absolutely essential that he brought it back. \nThe young man began his descent down the mountainside, focusing on the massive being falling through the atmosphere. It was at least 100 feet long, many times larger and heavier than any land animal that existed. Ajin tried his best to estimate where the beast would land, but it was too distant to accurately measure. He ran as fast as his legs could possibly carry him, running with the sole intent of reaching his destination before somebody else could. As he began to close the distance between him and his target, he saw several figures in the distance. He felt his heart beat quicken, sweat began to drip down his brow. In the past, his family had always gone out of their way to avoid confrontation with the desert dwellers. This time, that option was not available to him. He had no choice but to fight. They needed that heart. \nAs Ajin continued his charge, he gripped the handle of his weapon at his side. He had never actually used it against fellow man, but he was sure that the concept was the same. Swing, maim, kill. It was something he had known how to do for years, but only now for the first time was he nervous to do so. \nThe figures in the distance were now recognizable and very clearly human. They appeared to be armed with a variety of swords, spears, and knives. They grew even closer as the seconds continued to pass. Ajin counted five men, all significantly larger than him, and equally terrifying. He knew very well that he could lose his life that day, but it did not matter to him. They needed the heart. \nThe sky-whale now appeared to touch the ground. Any moment now it was sure to land. Then suddenly, a large deafening blast echoed throughout the land. Ajin saw the creature, no more than a quarter mile ahead of him. A large cloud of sand was thrown into the air. The impact of the landing sent a shockwave that caused Ajin to stumble and nearly fall. The cloud had arrived a few seconds later and began to shroud Ajin's vision, but he kept racing forward, towards his goal. They needed the heart. \nAjin could hear voices nearby now, indistinct, yet very close. He drew his sword, and lowered his speed. He assumed a more defensive position, and inched closer to the prize ahead of him. Then he saw them, the unit of desert dwellers. They had already began to scavenge and harvest the beast for it's valuable components. Ajin was now at the tale of the whale. Up close it seemed infinitely more massive compared to when it sailed though the sky. He crept alongside the fallen animal, inching closer and closer to the unaware group. He was now only a few feet away from them, and they had yet to notice his presence. Realizing the advantage he had, and without hesitating, he began his attack. \nHe began by attacking the largest of the bunch, and plunged his sword into his back. He heard the unmistakable sound that his sword made whenever it took life. shiiiing The man let out a howl that alarmed the rest of his group. Ajin began to panic, realizing that he had lost his biggest advantage. No matter, he had to complete his mission no matter what. They needed the heart. \nThe four other men all drew their various weapons, and began spacing themselves out in a semi-circle around the boy. Unsure if they should attack given their numbers advantage, or if the boy was a skilled warrior that they needed to be wary of. Before any of them could react, Ajin pulled a knife from his back pocket, and through it directly into the chest of one the other men. The man immediately fell down crippled by the damage the blade had dealt. Now aware of the impending danger, the remaining three began to attack. \nOne man, the smallest of the group, rushed Ajin with daggers in both hands. He leapt towards him bringing the blade down from above his head towards Ajin's neck. It was a foolish move, as Ajin easily redirected the mans strike to the side with aid from his sword, threw the man off balance, and knocked him to the floor. Once on the floor he was able to deal the killing blow with ease. There was three down now, only two men left. \nBoth of the remaining men were now visibly terrified by the fighting prowess demonstrated by the young boy before them. Their hands were shaking, and could hardly keep hold of their weapons. The braver of the two held his ground, and went in to attack, while the other ran off dropping his weapon, and leaving his comrade to perish. Before the remaining foe could realize that his friend had abandoned him, Ajin already began his assault. The man had no chance, as Ajin expertly broke his guard, and once again took a life with his sword. As quickly as it had began, the fight was already over. Ajin let out a sigh of relief. For once his family had a stroke of luck. His enemies were incompetent, and he succeeded his goal with relative ease. He then turned towards the beast to his side, and began carving out the heart. \nAfter about 20 minutes, he had it. Ajin, for the first time in his life, had been victorious. He held the mystical object in his hand, it continued to pulse and beat regardless of the fact that it was no longer alive. He began walking back towards the hill where his father awaited him, focusing only on the item that laid in his palms. As he was walking, he felt a sharp pain in his back. He turned his head and saw a man with a blade in his chest. Ajin recognized his fatal mistake almost instantly. The knife had missed the man's heart, it wasn't enough to put him down. The man, with blood dripping from his mouth had a wicked smile on his face. He laughed with a deranged smile on his face. \n\"Didn't think I'd go down that easily did you?\" \nJust as he spoke, and arrow pierced his throat, ending his maniacal laughter. The man then dropped, this time dead. \nAjin collapsed to the ground with the heart in his hands. All he could think about as his life escaped him was that he had failed. He saw a skinny figure standing several yards away, holding a bow that Ajin recognized from his years growing up. \n\"Father?\" was all the only noise that he could let out. \nHis father began slowly making his way towards his fallen son. As he drew closer, he stood over Ajin, staring down at him with the same cold visage that had always decorated his face. He bent over, plucked the heart from his dying son's hands, and began making his way back. \nAs Ajin lay there, in his final moments, he felt no bitterness or resentment towards his father. He would have done the same thing were their places reversed. \nThey needed the heart. " ]	1
	[WP] A masochist goes to boot camp.	[ "How did I learn I was a masochist, you ask?\n\nDo you really want to know the answer to that? And furthermore, does it really matter? The point was, I, like a fair number of others, got off on being degraded, humiliated, and, well, hurt. There was just something… erotic about it. I kept this little fact about myself pretty well hidden, mostly because people judge you for it and honestly what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom.\n\nAfter the housing market crash of ’08, I was laid off, as were many of my colleagues. I worked the odd job throughout the next six or so years, temp jobs that ended almost as quick as they began, just barely scraping a living. I went back to my hometown to live with my parents. And by 2014, I felt like the loser I’m sure I was. A 28-year-old bum just squatting in his mother’s basement, working at the 7/11. This is what my $250k bachelor’s degree had got me?\n\nThe truth was, there were jobs out there, but they all required a master’s. I was intelligent enough to do it, but my liquid assets were all but gone, and I couldn’t ask my parents to fund another endeavor.\n\nSo my plan, like so many other young men, was to join the army and let Uncle Sam handle the tuition. Hopefully I would get some sort of office job that would translate well to civilian life. I was a well-built kid, and I figured that the Army would give me the discipline that I so desperately needed. \n\nI joined the Marines. The thing about the Marines is that as much as I’m a masochist, they’re all sadists. Marine boot camp is built to break you. Which, of course, was kind of my dream come true.\n\nMy sergeant was a good guy, but he needed to test our mental strength and convictions. He needed to make sure our mental game was as strong as our physical game. We didn’t get called by our names. We were mocked for wearing the uniform wrong, spat on, yelled at, and pushed to the breaking point.\n\nI loved it. The more they tried to break me, the more attuned I was. The Army was perfect for me in every way. Of course it was hard. I don’t want to give anyone false ideas, the physical aspect of it was grueling. I felt like dying almost every night – and I was a fairly fit guy. But the mental side… I rocked that.\n\nMy sergeant used to pick on me more than the others, because I was a bit older than the other recruits, and I also took everything he said with a smile on my face. He called me a “lily-livered pansy faced raccoon” and I would smile and nod. I think it infuriated him somewhat, but I was unbreakable. I loved it.\n\nThe truth about masochism is that it's more fun when you don't know what's coming. If you know someone's going to strike you, where's the pleasure in that? The Marine boot camp was designed to keep us on our toes. I didn't just survive, I thrived.\n\n(tbc)" ]	1
	[WP] You're taking a walk and you see a girl that looks eerily familiar. Then, you see her again, and again, and again...	[ "Each time she was a different, proportion. Sometimes smaller, sometimes taller, sometimes wider and sometimes lanky. I stood outside the amusement ride waiting for her to come out, and picked up Danny instead. The sun had set so I must have missed her in the group of patrons. Later, while my little brother and I were at the funnel cake stand, I dropped some powdered sugar on my blouse. He laughed at me and pointed like the little punk he is. His eyes turned wide, mid-laugh. Still pointing, I see a look of pure horror come over his face. He's not pointing at my shirt anymore, but slightly over my shoulder. I smile. It's all going according to plan. I know when I turn around there will be nothing; and he'll still be there shitting his whitey-tighties. I look back and dismiss him. \"It's alright you little twerp.\" I say rustling his hair. I grabbed his hand and took him to the funhouse again. This time betting him he couldn't do it alone. He steeled himself, knowing that I was messing with him. \"Alright you bag of wind, but you owe me five bucks!\" he says. \"Fine, just get your butt in there before I tell all your second grade friends you're a chicken.\" I chided. Relieved to finally get him out of my hair for a few seconds, I waited outside and finished my funnel cake. When all of the sudden I heard a blood-curdling scream. Wait, that sounded like him! That's my little brother! The lights go out on the ride and the whole group runs out screaming, but none of them are Danny. No faces I could scan were him. I ran through the exit of the funhouse to find him in the middle of the mirror room. Danny was nearly dismembered, blood pouring out of every place the mirrors' shards were sticking out. Next to him was a carney with a paler-than-normal face. He whispered \"Holy Shit\" under his breath about five times before running out. This isn't what I wanted. I only wanted to scare him. I heard another scream but it was my own. After it subsided, I could only feel shock and dread. This was all my fault! How can I explain this to Mom? What do I do!? The only reason I touched her secret room was to get back at him for shooting my cat. It was just a BB gun! He didn't deserve this! The only thing I know now..I'll be next. ", "I sat quietly in the terrace, sipping the coffee. It was a sunny day today, and I figured it was as good a time as any to enjoy the weather and watch people living their lives.\n\nDid someone add a new...? I wondered as I watched her walk past me again.\n\nIt was the fifth time I'd seen her in five minute span, but each time, she was coming from the same direction, always from my right. Finally, out of curiousity, my eyes followed her past. I felt my eyes straining to focus on her before I realized I couldn't -- her back was covered in green and black lines, each stretching beyond her shoulders, rapidly changing in length. It looked like noisy digital static, almost as if...\n\nThis is a virus!\n\nI quickly pulled off my headset and began tearing the nodes away from my skin as fast as I could, but I wasn't fast enough -- the computer shot a surge of electricity through the last node on my temple with the force of a car hitting a brick wall. I found myself crashing into the C.D. rack beside my desk, sending a cascade of disks raining over me.\n\nMy body shivered on the ground like a fish out of water, suffering from the aftermath of the shock. Footsteps slowly approached my computer as a darkened figure removed the USB drive that wasn't there before. His dress shoes were pristine beneath his black slacks with blue stripes. He crouched down, placing his elbows on his knees. \"I told you I'd do it, didn't I?\" he said quietly into my ear.\n\nI tried to look up to his face, but my muscles were far too weak to move, forcing me to surrender to gravity. \"It's just a game, you said,\" he sneered. \"Get over it, you said.\"\n\n\"But you know what?\" he asked, shaking the USB drive in my face. \"I lost $10,000 from your shinanigans, your little escapade. And now I'm taking it all back, plus a little extra for you thinking you could get away with it.\"\n\nAs he stood up to leave, I could hear my computer fizzle to its death, fried from the inside out. \n", "(VERY inexperienced writer here, first time on the subreddit! Please give feedback, don't be afraid to criticize.) When I first woke up, it seemed like a normal day. I got out of bed, took a shower, brushed my teeth, and went to work. The office was as dull as ever. I just sat around, typing and typing and typing. After what seemed like an eternity, It was finally time to go. I walked downstairs, stepped outside, and saw her. She was a complete stranger, and yet, it felt as if I had seen her somewhere. I didn't want to look like a creep, so i just kept walking to my apartment. I turn a corner, and there she is again. I just assumed she was somebody else, who merely looked the same, and kept walking. When she appeared a third time, I was worried. In my life, I had been involved in some not-so legal practices. I was a pretty good hacker, so I thought the cops couldn't find me. I was screwed. She was going to arrest me. I decided to switch my route, finally see if she was following me. I approached a corner, and to my horror, she was there again. I ran home. I knew I wouldn't be able to survive in prison. I made a mad dash to my door, threw it open, walked to my apartment, and waited. After hours, they didn't come. When my mom called me, I nearly had a heart attack. She told me there was some terrorist attack nearby, a crazy girl shooting some cops. I calmed her down and told her I was fine. I went to my computer to make sure nobody found me. After rooting through the police databases, I was sure I was safe. I felt so tired I just laid my head down on the keys. I slept for what seemed like forever before the green text ticked onto the screen. \"Wake up, Neo..\"" ]	3
	[WP] You are an immortal witnessing the end of time.	[ "\"Here we go.\" She looked scared. \"I wish I knew what was going to happen next.\"\n\n\"I know, my love, I know.\" I knew I wasn't much comfort. We laid back on our blanket, positioned atop our favorite spot on the hill, staring at the night sky. \n\n\"There goes another,\" she said, pointing to the stars. One of them suddenly got twice as bright, and after a few seconds, disappeared. Another one followed suit soon after. \n\n\"It won't be long now.\" I squeezed her hand tight. I had lived for centuries, seen wars that drove mortals insane, met insane mortals that started wars, but it wasn't until now that I found someone as perfect as her. Hell, maybe this was all my fault. \n\n\"Do you think you'll die?\"\n\n\"I don't know,\" I quietly replied. \"I have lived for too long as it is. And I wouldn't want to live on without you.\" A few more stars burnt out. \n\n\"I hope there's something else. Something after, ya know?\" She seemed to have accepted her fate, as most had by now. \n\n\"I hope so too, sweetheart.\" I felt the temperature begin to rise, and the night sky began to turn to daylight. \n\n\"At least you didn't have to watch me grow old.\" I saw tears begin to roll down her face, as we stood up and embraced each other one final time. \n\n\"I would have loved to see you grow old,\" I said, squeezing her as tight as I could. \"I love you.\" \n\nHer grip around my waist tightened. \"And I'll love you 'til the end of time, and after.\" She chuckled through tears. \n\nI held her as the sky turned white-hot, and her body began to deteriorate. I sat on the ground, and watched as the world began to burn around me. Trees caught fire, then the grass. The earth began to shake, and before long it was too bright for me to see anything. Over the years, I had encountered some pretty painful things--but never anything as severe as this. \n\nMy skin was melting, my eyes popped, my blood was boiling. I could no longer feel the earth beneath my feet. My body tried to heal, but the damage was being done faster than it could keep up. I tried as hard as I could to think of my beloved. Please, just let me die. \n\nAnd then there was nothing. No feeling, no sight, nothing at all. Slowly, my senses began to come back to me. My body began to come back to me. \n\nI could feel my skin, I could sense my eyes, but I couldn't see a thing. Not at first. There was no real sense of time, but things slowly started to come back. A dot in the distance, then another. I watched as the universe seem to form all over again. \n\nAnd eventually I found myself on solid ground once again. Was it earth? Was this going to repeat, over and over? Would I have to survive through all of creation? \n\nI contemplated that thought for a long time. Would the same people be reborn? Would every event in history be repeated, or would things be different this time around? \n\nWould I get to see her again?\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] God, intending for Mary of Nazareth to have the virgin birth of Jesus, makes a typo. Instead, a guy named Marc ends up pregnant with the son of God	[ "Sometimes it feels like something alive is inside me, moving inside my stomach. I should’ve visited the village doctor months ago. We couldn’t afford it then and decided to ignore the persistent irritation of scratching and pounding felt from inside my stomach. \n\nThere is the option of getting health insurance. At first, I thought it was a scam. Now I regret not investing in Yahweh’s Health Care program when their rates were much cheaper. MediRa is an even cheaper health insurance but a travel at their office through the desert would take days and I cannot risk taking a day off for I fear for my wife’s sudden and unexplained disappearance if I do not produce in the contribution of our livelihood. \n\nJosefa loves me with all her heart. I feel we are truly destined to be together ‘til death do us part. Even with this enormous stomach of mine in my frail and scrawny body, she chose to stay with me. Despite being an abomination, an obscene creature freshly taken out of the devil’s oven, she chose to have faith that we’ll make it through this. Through thick and thin. She is truly a blessing from the almighty. \n\nIn the recent weeks, she has been taking care of me more than I’ve been able to provide for us. With my back aching more frequently as of late accompanied with stomach cramps from time to time, it has been difficult to maintain productivity at work. Throwing the net into the lake from my boat takes much more effort than it did eight months ago. Don’t even get me started with my bladder. \n\nIn the beginning, I would row my boat back to the land along the edge of the lake in order to empty my bladder. But due to my lack of productivity, when no one is looking, I urinate on the lake while kneeling on my boat in order to hide my disgusting misdeed. \n\nI’m ashamed, not only for my abhorrent acts while at work but also for my inability to provide. We’re neck deep in debt. Arik has been knocking on our door every single day asking for us to pay him. We want to move out, but we’ve nowhere to go.\n\nTo compensate, I have chosen to make a promise to her this morning before heading to the lake.\n\n“I know it’s been difficult, but today, I promise you: I will not come back home until I’ve filled my boat with fish.” I said confidently. Something pounded my stomach from the inside making me wince in pain.\n\n“Take it easy.” She said. “All that matters is you come back here safe. Praise be to our god, may he guide you throughout your day. And may he be merciful that you’ll come back home to me safe.” \n\n“Thank you my love, but a promise is a promise.”\n\n“I just want you to be careful is all.” She begins caressing my stomach while grinning mischievously. “For all we know, a baby is inside that stomach of yours.”\n\nNot only did I feel pounding in my stomach, but my heart as well. The thought of being cursed by the devil made me uneasy as I left the house without replying nor reacting to her joke.\n----------------------------------------------\n\nTwelve pouches hitting the merchant’s table hard as the silver clanked together in a sweet melody anesthetizing the constant aching of my back and cramping of my lower abdomen. As I begin collecting all the pouches in my arms, Arik puts his hand over my arms halting me from gathering my earned silver.\n\n“Not so fast.” He said. He takes two pouches and said, “We’re even. You may go.”\n\nI grabbed the rest of the silver and began heading towards home. Josefa is going to love hearing this. I expected to finish by night, but ended up finishing as soon as I started. She will not believe that I literally filled the boat with fish. A boat load of fish! Hah!\n\nLAMB! CHICKEN! We’ll be able to afford real food!\n\nWith the unrelenting excitement, I begin walking faster. And faster. And faster. The joy that I feel can only be calmed once I’ve reached home. I begin running.\n\nUpon reaching home, I opened the door with as much force as my happiness can exert. \n“JOSEFA!” I yelled.\n\nShe looked at me while sitting at the dining table eating a piece of bread with green mold around the edges.\n\n“Stop eating that! We’ll finally be able to eat real food!” I raise up the pouches of silver in my hands to the level of my face.\n\nHer pupils began dilating, her eyes grew and her smile became wider. From the struggles she had to bear, her eyes turned moist.\n\n“We can finally take you to the doc—“ She stopped mid-sentence as her eyes became fixated on my crotch. \n\nHer gesture filled me with confusion, interrupting our moment of happiness. The anesthesia brought by the happiness of my earnings began to wear off as I grabbed the top rail of the chair near me due to the pain in my lower abdomen and in my lower back which had depleted nearly all of the strength in my legs.\n\nFeeling the moist of my crotch I look down to see wetness from the crotch area of my pants all the way to my ankles. Blood began spotting in the middle of my crotch, gradually increasing in size. I felt a chill throughout my body as the pain had me grunting.\n\nJosefa snapped out of being shocked and assisted me to sit down on the chair.\n“I’m going to get the doctor. Hang in there.” She rushed out the door leaving me in pain.\n\nCurious as what’s causing the pain, I stripped my pants down. Half naked with my junk exposed, I tried to look down to see the state of my bleeding penis. To my disappointment, my abdomen blocks my view. Not giving up, I try curling my body to get a better angle on what’s going on. Again, my abdomen is in the way.\nI refuse to wait for the doctor. If I am to die, I will know the reason, damn it! \n\nI grab a hold of the shaft of my soft penis and begin shaking it back and forth. I started to stroke in an attempt to get erect. The pain is too much, I can’t get hard. I closed my eyes and began thinking about my wife.\n\nI take the opportunity to curl my body once again as I feel the hardness of my penis. I see the tip. Unsatisfied, I curl up even more regardless of the shortness of breath that I am experiencing. I can see the head of my penis fully with a small amount of blood dripping out of my urethra.\n\n“AAAAAAAHHHH!!!” I screamed as my stomach tightened, uncurling my body as it involuntarily pushes something downwards out of my body\n\nI screamed even more and much louder as I feel the pain moving downwards slowly. I feel bones in my pelvis begin creaking as I let out another scream as if my throat is on the verge of exploding.\n\nA loud crack originating from my pelvis had me clenching my fist as I pound the arm rest of the chair to divert the pain. I screamed louder than I’ve ever screamed. I try to curl my body again and notice that my pubic area has bulked in size.\n\nMy stomach tightens again and I let out another loud scream as I feel the object inside me move downwards, but smoother than before. It begins entering the shaft of my penis, slower but not as rough as before. The feeling of stretching and tightening of my penis had me curling my body out of curiosity. \n\nIgnoring the pain of the contractions, I maintained my body in curled position in order to have clarity on the event that is occurring to me.\n\nThe root of my penis has bulked into a solid round mass. With each pain, each contraction the round mass begins moving down towards the head of my penis stretching the tissues surrounding it.\n\nSlowly, my fear begins manifesting into reality as the shaft begins to tear from the middle toward the root and the mushroom tip of my penis with the intensity of my scream matching its progress. I look away to focus on bearing the pain and by the time I look back, I see a baby gasping for air and flailing its arms as if it’s trying to swim in the pouring blood of my shattered penis.\n\nI uncurl myself and relaxed into the chair tilting my head back as I stared into the ceiling whispering, “What.. the.. fuck?”\n\nThe door slammed open and Josefa comes in with the doctor.\n\n“Marc!” She yelled upon seeing me sitting over a pool of blood that originated from my shattered penis. Her jaw drops open upon seeing the baby hanging from what’s left of my dignity. “What happened?!” \n\nI focus my sight on her as my vision gradually dimmed to see her go into the kitchen and grab a knife.\n---------------------------\n\nI open my eyes only to be blinded by the brightness of glowing white clouds. A man in white robe and a blinding sun for a face approached me.\n\n“Hey, sorry about that, Marc.” He said.\n\n“About?” I asked.\n\n“Oh, you know… look, this is not easy for me to do. So… sorry about making you pregnant. I should’ve just handwritten all my orders to my angels instead of using Satan’s typewriter.” He explained. “It’s just.., it’s been a while since he’s been banished from here and… the typewriter’s all I have left of him. I kinda miss him y’know? He is still my child.” \n\n“Okay.” \n\nA portion of the clouds that made up the floor began taking form of a figure resembling a baby. As the clouds disappeared around the figure, it took form of a human infant screaming while standing upright with the umbilical cord hanging from the umbilicus to the placenta on the ground.\n\n“Oh my god…” The infant finally calmed down.\n\n“Yes?” Said the man with the face of a sun.\n\n“My son!” I said.\n\n“Actually, he’s my son.” Said the man with the face of a sun. He turns to the infant and says, “So… what happened?”\n\n“You don’t know?” said the infant. “Oh my god dad! This is so like you! I can’t believe you’ve forsaken me. That bitch said that I’m the curse of the devil and stabbed me right in the neck! Multiple TIMES!”\n\n“Umm… let’s talk about this in 30-40 years okay?” The man with the face of a sun snapped his fingers and the infant turned into clouds.\n\n“I’m very—“ \n\n“Confused?” The man with the face of a sun completed my sentence. “Don’t be! Welcome to Heaven!”\n" ]	1
	[WP] There's an unexpected package waiting for you on your doorstep. Inside the box is a letter explaining who you really are, some odds and ends, and an invitation.	[ "Brown paper wrapping surrounds what appears to be a small box waiting for me on the doorstep. I bend down, ignoring the general rule of life to not play with unknown packages, and pick it up.\n\nI shake it and mutter an old joke to myself.\n\n\"Is it a puppy?\"\n\nI chuckle, still funny even after all these years.\n\nI kick the door in, idiot roommates never lock it, and leave my shoes on to spite them. Dirty, mud encrusted landscaping shoes trekking down the hall. Fuck them, right?\n\nI struggle for a moment with my room key before I get it open and enter my current, luxurious, living space. It's about eight feet by ten feet with two mattresses stacked on top of each other. A 31 inch TV sits on cardboard boxes and clothes are piled wherever there is space.\n\nIt's my room. My home for now.\n\nI sigh and sit, forgetting about the box for a minute. When it catches my eye I decide that I'm curious enough. I carry a knife for work so I flip it open, cut into the thick brown paper, and peel back the outer layer.\n\nIt's smaller than a shoebox. Inside is a letter in a white envelope.\n\nI open the letter and begin to read.\n\n'David,\n\nYou are not who you think you are. You know this. Think about the things you know how to do, the way you act. Come find me, VisionWork Labs. Hurry.'\n\nWhat the fuck. I chuck the letter away and find a unique set of objects inside the box.\n\nFirst is a badge, a worker's ID tag with my face on it. It says Jake Webb, which is not my name. Underneath in blue letters are the words \"VisionWork Laboratories\"\n\nThere is a key on a chain, along with dog tags that say\n\nWebb, Jake\n\n551-12-2046\n\nRH Positive\n\nNo Preference.\n\nThere's something wrapped in an oily green cloth, pinned down under a black folding knife.\n\n\"Fuck me.\" I breathe it out, unwrapping a semi-automatic pistol.\n\nI should be concerned. I should call the police. Instead I look up where this lab is, shower quickly and put on jeans and a t-shirt. I throw the things into a small bag I use for hiking and head out the door.\n\nEven as I'm reminded of a saying I keep walking, determined. I haven't always felt right. Maybe there will be answers.\n\nOr, like that saying goes.\n\nMaybe I'm the cat.\n\nAnd curiosity killed him.\n" ]	1
	[WP] Some firebenders are fueled by rage, some by beauty, some by harmony. You're powered by alcohol.	[ "I took a big swig of whiskey from my flask. This was a very important game tonight. I never expected the Platypus Bears to get to the finals. But I guess with me at the head, how could they not? I mean, I am the greatest firebender of all time!\n\nI know, I know, I shouldn't be so cocky. Lee keeps telling me that, but I honestly don't give two flying lemur craps about what he thinks. We can always find another waterbender if we need to. Pro waterbenders are easy to find these days. A quality firebender like me, though, that's a different story. I took this team to the top, and the others better not forget it. \n\nI stepped onto the stage, drinking the last of my liquor. Oh yeah, that. So blah blah blah, benders draw their power from different sources, sun, rage, blah blah. I was never one to get too angry, and my poor skin is too sensitive for the sun's energy to work very well as fuel for my bending. Then on my eighteenth birthday, while I was sipping what I pretended was my first glass of beer, a thought occurred to me: alcohol is flammable. Long story short, I committed arson that night.\n\nBut ignoring the 20,000 yuans worth of fire damage, I learned something. As long as I got really drunk, I was really good at bending. By the end of the month I started the Platypus Bears with some buds. As soon as I learned I didn't need to throw the alcohol onto the opposing team to light them in fire, we were allowed into tournaments. My amazing bending skills brought the enemy to their knees. And moe importantly, into the water. Lucky for them too, 'cause they would have burned to death 100%. \n\nSo that's how I did it. I could have done it alone if it weren't for the rules saying you needed three people on a team. But I digress, it's time to play. I stepped into the arena, watching the cheering crowd. I started to feel a little tipsy, that was good. I'll know how good I did tomorrow morning from how much of a hangover I get. \n\n_________________________________________________________________\n\nI watch the footage in disbelief. The other team's earthbender was horrible! he was missing me without fail! I watched me get my balance, probably to charge up some awesome firebending move. And then...\n\nNo, no that couldn't be right. I couldn't have just fell off like that. He didn't even hit me! I just lost my footing and belly flopped into the water. Lee and Su Lin looked in my direction, then resumed their bending. \n\nWell, wow. I never knew Lee could bend like that! He knocked off the firebender and the earthbender in like ten seconds! Su Ling knocked the waterbender around pretty good, too. Come to think of it, I don't remember her being that good either. Have I ever actually seen them play? This was the first time I've seen a recording of one of our games. I had a sick feeling in my stomach, and it wasn't just from the hangover. Speaking of which, I needed something for this headache.\n\nI climbed the stairs up to Lee's room, where we keep the medicine. As I opened the door, however, I was a little shocked to find Su Ling, Lee, and my parents sitting around the room. What the hell were my parents doing here?\n\n\"Son, we need to talk,\" Dad said. \"We've heard you've been having a little problem with drinking lately.\"\n\nLee was more blunt. \"Don't be so soft on him.\" He turned to me. \"You're a drunk. We're kicking you off the team.\"\n\nI noticed some tears forming in my mother's eyes. \"Oh, honey,\"\nshe said. \"I really didn't think it was so bad. Your friends told us about what was going on. You can stay with us until you're better.\" \n\n\"But..\" I protested. \n\n\"No buts, son.\" Dad said. Su Ling and Lee affirmed this with a nod. \n\nSu Ling spoke. \"Look, ever since we formed, you've been nothing but a burden to the team. We really didn't want to do this, but you nearly lost us the finals. We already have your replacement. Go get your things and send your share of the month's rent in the mail.\"\n\nI shambled to my room, wondering what I'd do with myself now. Then I saw the bottle of wine I'd left on my dresser a couple nights ago. I looked inside. Mostly empty, but enough for a sizable flame. So this new guy was taking my room, huh? I drained the bottle. and made sure that wouldn't happen." ]	1
This can be expanded upon anyway the author wants.	[WP] You have the ability to speak to money. You decide to interview various notes from around the world. This interview is for a wrinkled $20 found at a crack house.	[ "\"You should wash your hands after this. This wasn't a great idea\". \n\n\"Shut up, Eve. I'll prove I'm not crazy.\" I let the toilet lid fall and gently put the crumpled note on the yellowish plastic, like it was the most precious of my possessions. \"All set.\"\n\n\"You're really beginning to freak me out, you know that, right? Please, tell me you've just been fuckin' with me over the last week. I don't wanna be here. It's been fun and all, but this isn't the type of place I want to hang out at.\"\n\n\"Give me a second\" I murmured, as I tried to concentrate on more important things than the stench of the fecal matter and God-knows-what-else that pervaded the air. \"You're not helping\"\n\n\"To do what?\" The veins on her neck have slowly started to swell. \"Jesus, I don't even know who's more fucked up in the head between the two of us. Why did I even-\"\n\n\"Shut up, dammit! I am not crazy, this shit is as real as you and me. I'll prove it, look!\" I brusquely turned away from her and tried to channel my thoughts into a single stream of consciousness toward the dusty note. Nothing happened. \"I...I.. I'll try again.\" \n\nI forced every single muscle of my face into a grimace of pain, hoping it will work this time around. \"SHIT! Why the fuck-\"\n\n\"Stop it.\" Eve's cold voice snapped me out of my world. Her eyes, full of disbelief, were also displaying something else that I was deeply afraid of - pity. \"You're delusional. I'm out of here.\" \n\nThe door slammed shut behind me.\n\n\"Why? WHY? Of all tries, why now it had to fail? Can't fuckin' believe it.\"\n\n\"Answer's easy\", a tiny high-pitched voice has caught my attention. I stood up, taking the old leather wallet out of my back pocket. Opening it, I took out the last 5 dollar bill I saved for the taxi back home.\n\n\"W-what do you mean?\" I mumbled, partly relieved I wasn't insane and partly because I thought I probably still was.\n\n\"There's no watermark.\"\n\nOld Abraham was right." ]	1
	[WP] Your 3DS got shocked by lightning, ever since some strange things have been happening.	[ "Slowly you open your eyes, but you have trouble focusing. Your entire body feels tender and bruised, as though you'd rolled down a mountain.\n\nYou try to remember what happened. You planned your annual solo backpacking trip; buying all of the food, patching the hole in your one-man tent, letting your roommate know that you should be home in a week. \n\nThe first two days of the trip were perfect. Pleasantly cool weather, lots of water along the trail to restock, you even saw a moose. On the third day, the black clouds rolled in, so you set up camp early and decided to have a leisurely evening.\n\nYou remember playing Super Mario on your 3DS, then nothing. \n\nLooking around, the ground is scorched, and you have vein-shaped bruises all over your body. A lightning strike. You try to stand up, but can't move your legs. No, surely not. You pinch your legs, and it hurts, thank God. Again you try to stand, but your legs refuse to respond, so you crawl over to what's left of your tent.\n\nYou have some water, then search for your cell phone on the off chance it has a signal 13 miles into the forest. It doesn't. And it will be four more days until anyone comes looking for you.\n\nOkay, you say to yourself, think. I can't walk, but I need to stay alive until help can come. You've got your camelbak full of water, and an empty Nalgene bottle. There's a water source about half a mile back the way you came, although dragging your legs it would take hours to get there. As you lay there thinking of ways to get a message home, you drift off to sleep.\n\nThe next morning you awake, stiff and sore, and still unable to stand. You make some instant oatmeal and think. The best way to be found by rescuers is to stay put, so you decide that that's what you're going to do. So, thinking you might as well entertain yourself while waiting to be rescued, you pull out your DS, which, you remember, was in your hand when you were struck by lightning. Hopefully it still works.\n\nYou switch it on, and Super Mario flickers onto the screen. You start the level, and immediately have to jump over a Goomba. As you tap the A button, you find yourself soaring 15 feet into the air, flipping over like an omelet through the air, and crashing into the ground. \n\nMust run...will finish later if anyone's interested... ha. :)" ]	1
	[WP] You are Repunzel and you just escaped your tower. As you walk to the edge of the grassy field you find that you have only escaped one level of your prison.	[ "The escape from the tower itself was rather straightforward, once certain circumstances allowed for it. There was a local legend of Rapunzel, a trapped and fair maiden, who would richly reward anyone who could rescue her from her miserable tower prison. A nearby Prince, insufficiently primogenital for his ambitions and bored by his very diplomatic lounging around inside his estates, was taking a walk farther out into the wilderness than most days on account of this legend when he came across the tower. \n\nThe poor desperate Prince was quick to dash up Rapunzel's blonde tresses but slow to realise how he came to be left up there when the grounded Princess retreated away, neatly wrapping her hair into place. Having been kept captive for so long, she wasn't ready for another relationship just yet. \n\nAs soon as her thoughts strayed from the Prince - who was now alone and feeling increasingly neglected in the tower, there awaited one more challenge for Rapunzel. The treeline thickened around her as the bracken and bush covering the forest floor rose to cover her ankles, then her knees and finally her whole height. She emerged and faced a desolate and impassable stretch of ditch whose expanse covered her whole sight from left to right. Nothing could grow taller than a fox on either bank, and the ditch floor was a rotten, scabby mess of seething orange swamp.\n\nAppearing like a flame from the swamp was an apparition. Formless, faceless and without countenance, the apparition was thus:\n\n\"Rapunzel, you are aware that you have acquired some fame in the world. Now you have escaped your former boundaries. The physical dimensions that once hemmed you in are now disregarded. If you wish to go any further, you must be willing to embrace pure freedom and disregard your own self. Cut your hair, disguise yourself, and regard yourself as Rapunzel never again. Only then may you step into the villages and towns of society. Your other choice is to keep your name, keep your identity, and turn around and take up your former comfortable room in the tower.\n\nThe choice is yours\"\n\nRapunzel breathed in ever so slightly, and considered her decision.", "Rapunzel whipped her hair, the knot at the end coming loose from the hook in her room.\nIt will be a pain to get rid of the knot but her escape was more important than her hair. Finally free of her prison, she ran barefoot through the grass, arms outstretched. The air felt so much better on the ground, the lightness and chill remained the same, but freedom gave it a different taste. No longer would she have to breathe that stale air in the tower.. Ahead, she noticed there must be a hill, as she didn't see anything beyond it for a moment. She finally drew closer, and came to a stop. The air started to taste stale once more as she looked across the land below her, down the sheer cliff she stood on. Determined, she followed the cliff hoping to find a way down. After about an hour, she noticed she was back in the same spot, atop the plateau that was her prison. Rapunzel slowly gathered her hair, and began to brush the knot out. Once more she began to sing, as she did for many years atop her tower, crying.", "Robotic dragonflies zip by and survey the land, and the eyes of real living trees follow Rapunzel. She quickly realizes she is under tight security, that every move she makes is being watched. \n\nBeing smarter than the average princess, Rapunzel decides to act as if she has accepted her fate, and lays in the green grass enjoying the sun and breeze. \n\nTime passes and she is still sitting, devising. Slowly a storm begins to roll over. The trees catch wind and their faces give expressions as if the trees are making an effort to stand up straight. What began as a slight drizzle and gloomy clouds, turns into furious rain and roaring wind. \n\nRapunzel's long, golden hair becomes saturated and heavy with water. She looks over the hill ahead, where there is a tall wooden fence with thorns up top and an opening where there are two armored guards. \n\nShe concludes that either she has to go back inside or the storm will continue to ravage her. Rapunzel begins toward her tower once again until she sees a fluffy bush of aloe. Rapunzel smirks and grabs all the aloe leaves she can. She breaks leaves and squeezes them into her bound up hair one after the other. Quickly she removes her hair ties and tosses her soapy hair as far as she can over the hill.\n\nRapunzel jumps up as high as she can and lands on her smooth, soapy hair. She slides down and flies right past the guards. \n\nBeyond this point is a dark forest. The guards try to find her, but she escapes them. However, Rapunzel is soon to find out that she isn't quite free yet..." ]	3
[WP]No matter how much money you spend it keeps coming back, with interest.	[WP]No matter how much money you spend it keeps coming back with interest.	[ "Twist: you are dirt poor. You get drunk and an old man talks to you. You tell him that you hate being poor and that you want to be rich. He gives you an atm card and mentions $999000 (or any arbitrary number). You pass out.\n\nWhen you wake up you think it was a dream. you check your atm and it has $1. The atm charges you $1 for the balance inquiry transaction. In return, you get $2. You try this a few more times and realize that each time you spend money, double of what you spend gets magically deposited in your atm.\n\nYou do some binge shopping, happy with your change of luck. You buy stuff, food at first then clothes and the list goes on and on. \n\nJust when it seems that life is good and youre finally happy, you meet the old man again during another drunken episode (or pwrhaps randomly in one od your shopping sprees). He tells you, have you spent your money wisely? And you answer: what does it matter? I can never run out of money.\n\nHe says: when your money reaches the limit, you will die. You ask him, what is the limit. He says: i already told you, try to remember it. \n\nFrom that point on, you are afraid to spend anymore since you never know when you might hit the \"limit\". \n\nIm effect, you are worse now even though you are rich compared to when you were poor. \n\nGives new meaning to: money cant buy happiness." ]	1
	[WP] Everyday you wake up in a different body but with your sense of inner self intact: what adventures do you get into?	[ "\"What are you in for homey?\" \n\nThe scraggly teen asked. He couldn't be no more than 16 covered in tattoos from head to toe. Each one told a different story no doubt.\n\n\"I didn't do anything wrong.\" I lied. \n\n\"Of course not homey, none of us did! Isn't that right Kobe?\" The teen asked another friend of his in the same holding cell. \n\n\"Aye, you know why they call him Kobe?\" \n\nNot that I really cared, but I was bored. \"Why?\"\n\n\"Because his first bust was from stealing Kobe beef! It ain't cause he is black and plays ball!\" \n\nOh he's a comedian too. Great, why did I have to get caught?\n\n\"So homey, what are you really here for?\" His tone got deathly serious this time. \n\n\"Look, what was your name again?\"\n\n\"Smiley\"\n\n\"Look, Smiley, you ever wake up and feel like you aren't yourself?\" \n\n\"Only when I am hungover!\" he laughed. Of course he laughed. \n\n\"Yea well, today was one of those days. I did some stupid shit and I got caught. It's alright, I will be out of here before you wake up.\"\n\n\"Oh yea homey? You got some kind of good lawyer or something?\"\n\n\"Something like that.\"\n\nI was tempted to tell him the truth. Smiley may be unhinged enough to believe me. I tried telling others before, but they just brushed it off and laughed at me as if I was telling some sort of dumb joke or recommended I see a psychologist.\n\n\"Ok Smiley, I have a secret to tell you.\"\n\nSmiley and Kobe both leaned in. \n\n\"Before I do, do you believe in super powers?\"\n\n\"You mean like xmen and shit? Or some brujeria quija board shit? I don't fuck with that.\"\n\n\"Good, you shouldn't. Well, I didn't before, until one day I realized I had a sort of power. When I go to bed at night, I don't wake up as the same person. I wake up as someone else. I am still me inside, but my physical body is that of someone else. I don't know who. Just different people. I woke up in this body today and I fucked up and got caught doing something I shouldn't have. Now whoever this person actually is is goign to to wake up in prison with no knowledge of why.\"\n\nWow, they are both hanging on to every word. \n\n\"So what did you do homey?\"\n\n\"I stole some things. That's what I do. I am a thief. Except I never get caught. Once I go to sleep and wake up, I will be somewhere else and you will be here with this guy....George Stanz.\"\n\nAlways got to check the ID and memorize whose body I am in now. People get suspicious when you don't know your own name. \n\nSmiley and Kobe just stared at me.\n\n\"Yo dawg, you gonna need a good ass lawyer to have that defense hold up.\"\n\nOf course they don't believe me, why would they. \n\n\"Ok, well I guess George will.\"\n\nI guess there is nothing left to do but get some sleep. \n\n- \n\nWaking up with the sun in your face is always lovely. The air smelled so light and clean. I knew I was out of that cell. The heavy scent of musk was gone. \n\nOpening my eyes revealed clean white sheets inside of a beautiful room. There was a wide open balcony door with an amazing ocean view. The room was huge with various plants and painting on the wall. \n\nI looked down at my body and saw the most amazing female body I had ever seen. Quite the contrast to George's large figure. Wow. \n\nI took in the room and wondered where the hell I am. I gotta find a mirror. \n\nThe phone rings. \n\n\"Hello\" I say outloud before answering the phone and I hear the most angelic voice I have heard. \n\nI reach over to grab the phone and answer. \n\n\"Hello.\"\n\n\"Oh thank God you are there!\"\n\n\"Um, yea hi who is this?\"\n\n\"What are you talking about?! Hun, it's me! It's George!\"\n\n\"......\"\n\n\"Damnit Lucy, I don't have time to bull shit! I am in prison!! What he hell happened!? You need to come down and get me out of here, there's these...\"\n\nDamnit. Out of all the people. Well, there's no point in wasting another lovely day in prison. \n\nThe phone rings again. \n\n\"Sorry George, you are gonna have a long day. I need to go take advantage of this beautiful day.\" " ]	1
	[WP] Everyone gets a spirit animal. Yours is a sword.	[ "My first language is Swedish and I may not be so good at writing but who cares, it's fun!\n\n\"Okay next up!\" The girl standing before me walks up to the teacher and sits in the chair next to him. With his slim gentle fingers he touches the girls forehead and start the spell. Soon after the shadow of a snake starts creeping up her arm can be seen. The snake is albino with red eyes and is curling himself up around the girls neck. \n\"Congratulations! Your spirit animal is the wise snake of the north!\" \nThe girls thanks the teacher and leaves with the snake still around her neck. \n\"Next up!\" \nI seat myself in the chair. My heartbeat is beating so hard I'm afraid it will jump out of my chest and I dig my nails into the wood of the chair. \n\"Calm down, we're just letting you know what your spirit animal is what could be so scary about that?\"\nThe teacher gently pats my shoulder and I calm down a bit. I don't actually know why I'm so nervous, they're just letting us know what our spirit animal it's not like it's something life changing... The teacher puts his an on my forehead and begins. Spirit animals are decided by our personality some people even befriend a special animal naturally which end up being their spirit animal. Suddenly a memory emerges. I'm lying in my bed in the castle and my brother comes inside. He has a big smile on his face and explained he is to go out to war to fight. I never understood why he was smiling so much and I didn't have a change to ask him either... Suddenly I'm pulled back to reality by something cold and heavy in my hand. I open my eyes that I first realize now that I've closed. In my hand I'm holding a sword. I look questioning at the teacher but he just looks surprised and start whispering something to his apprentice beside him. \n\"Come with me.\" The apprentice says and leads me away. \n\"What is happening why did you give me a sword?\"\n\"We didn't give you a sword, you did.\" She whispers to me as we continue trough several doors.\n\"What do you mean?\" I ask and look confused down at the plain iron sword in my hand. \n\"Not all people get an actual animal as their spirit animal actually... It's just that animals are most common because they're a living thing and you can communicate with them....\"\n\"So where are you taking me?\" We arrive at a large room with a table in the middle with at least twenty chairs around.\n\"It is said that anyone who gets a sword is to be a knight.\" \n\"A knight... wait, what?\" I scream at her but it's to late, she has already closed the door and is gone. I don't wanna be a knight I don't wanna end up as my brother!\n\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] You're flying cross country and your connecting flight is canceled. The next available flight is in six hours so you decide to take a nap at the terminal. When you wake up, the entire airport is strangely empty.	[ "Henry woke up from his slumber at Denver International to the repetitive robotic droning coming from his gate. \"All passengers, final call for flight UA1-5-9-5, please board at B41.\" \n\nHe looked around, blearily. His stomach still needed appeasing, and judging by the gate announcement it was too late to run and buy that overpriced pizza he had been hankering.\n\nSuddenly he realized something was terribly, terribly wrong. There were no people visible, anywhere. Not just at his gate, but in his entire field of vision. The cute Latina at the pizza stall - gone. The two security guards - gone. Attendants at other gates, not to mention every single passenger in the terminal - they had all simply vanished.\n\n\"Uh, hello?\" mumbled Henry in stupefaction. The gate boarding announcement startled him, and he turned around, half expecting to see someone at the lectern next to his plane.\n\nNope, nothing. When he approached the boarding pass scanner, a small timer was flickering - apparently the notification system was automatic, based on the inputted time of departure. As he walked away, he heard another message, spoken softer and smoother than the first one: \"All occupants, please proceed to exits.\"\n\nHe walked hesitantly down the jetway towards his plane. Maybe someone was in there? Entering the jet, he saw bags clearly under seats, seat-belts buckled - all signs of people, but no actual people.\n\nHe got off an back into the terminal. Seizing the moment, he went and took that pizza he had been eyeing. It turned out to be disappointing, like most other airport food.\n\n\"There probably was an evacuation I missed\", said Henry to himself. He started to move himself through the terminal, towards the exit. On his way he passed those famous murals that conspiracy nuts loved to rave about. The ones with all the creepy children, and the scary Nazi soldier with the AK-47 killing the bird.\n\nHe stopped in mid-stride.\n\nThe Nazi soldier wasn't there anymore, as if his mural never included him in the first place. And there seemed to be more people in the other murals than he originally remembered. He glanced over at the neighboring mural an looked at it. Some of the faces looked way more adult-like than Henry expected - the title of the painting mentioned children, not the elderly.\n\nHe looked at one face specifically on the wall and recoiled in shock. It couldn't be. But then again, any explanation was as legitimate as any other. He saw a face he recognized, a face he had seen not to long ago, selling pizza to passengers like him.\n\nThe cute Latina attendant's face stared back at him, as her painted hand grasped towards a multi-colored tree that symbolized harmony with nature. Henry didn't understand how, but she had somehow been moved inside the mural - presumably with every other occupant of the building. Henry turned around to look at the other murals and remembered the conspicuous absence of Death.\n\nAs he contemplated the current situation, Henry heard something collapse on the floor beneath him - quite large, judging by the volume.\n\nHe was not alone." ]	1
IE So the prophecy fortells: In the day we sweat it out on the streets of a runaway American dream At night we ride through the mansions of glory in suicide machines Sprung from cages out on highway nine, Chrome wheeled, fuel injected, and steppin' out over the line H-Oh, Baby this town rips the bones from your back It's a death trap, it's a suicide rap We gotta get out while we're young `Cause tramps like us, baby we were born to run (Small modifications of the lyrics is alright)	[WP] Pick a song. Those lyrics are now known as "the ancient prophecy". Tell the story of this prophecy's fulfillment.	[ "Some say a comet will fall from the sky. Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves. Followed by fault lines that cannot sit still. Followed by millions of dumbfounded dipshits.\n\nSome say the end is near. Some say we'll see Armageddon soon. I certainly hope we will cause I sure could use a vacation from this stupid shit, silly shit, stupid shit.\n\nOne great big festering neon distraction, I've a suggestion to keep you all occupied - Learn to swim.\n\n\n---\n\nHow the fuck did we get here?\n\nJust that morning she'd been getting dressed for work, listening to the new forecast. \"Expect pleasant weather and clear skies today, everyone\" the newscaster cheerfully informed the audience. Good, she thought, I could use a little more sun and good weather. The news went on to report the usual blend of sadness and horror intermingled with mindless celebrity bullshit, both of which Jessica ignored as she puttered about, preparing for her day. She lived in the big city, living the big city dream of paying too much to live in a too small apartment and pretending like she was having the time of her life when she was truly dying inside. She worked in a call center, with hundreds of others, peddling useless wares to the unsuspecting. It's not glamorous, but it gets me by. \n\nOnce finally ready to start another day just like all of the others, she headed out of her apartment to the street. There she shuffled past others on her way to her bus stop. Some of the city's homeless wandered her neighborhood, which was nice, but not so nice as to have police officers there to run off the \"undesirables.\" One of these poor souls stopped her by laying a hand on the arm that her purse was not tightly clutched under. \"Excuse me, miss, but if the world ended, have you ever done anything you'd be proud of before you died?\" the dirty, wild eyed woman asked Jessica. \"What the fuck! Back the hell up, are you serious?\" Jessica yelled as she snatched back her arm. The wild eyed woman started at her relentlessly. \"Repent before the end!\" she said in a hoarse bark before ambling off. \n\n\"Fucking crazies. Jesus,\" Jessica mutters to herself. She continues on her way, noting that not a single one of the fuckers around her offered to help. Assholes, she thought. She made her way to her stop and joined the line without further incident. On the bus, there weren't any seats available, so she grabbed an available hand rail and sank deep into thought. \n\nSteve's been such an asshole lately, she thought as she remembered their date the night before. Over a romantic dinner in a nice, new Italian restaurant, he'd chosen to spend the whole evening texting people and staring intently at his phone. She'd ordered a dry salad because he would make comments about how she was putting on weight, even though she worked out for 2 hours a day every day to keep looking good and mostly ate wholesome, healthy foods. She'd picked at the tasteless salad as she watched him actively ignore her and contemplated throwing the plate at him, but instead finished up the lukewarm date at her place with lukewarm sex that left her feeling sad and disappointed in herself. Is there someone better than this? Am I...\n\nBOOM!\n\nThe bus lurched as the driver slammed on the brakes, and a building ahead practically exploded, sending waterfalls of glass from its windows down into the street. Screams echoed throughout the bus and into the bus from the street as pedestrians ran in horror away from the building. Jessica was stunned and unable to move, frozen by her fear. People around her screamed and shoved their way off of the bus as the sounds of destruction continued to increase as there were more explosions in surrounding buildings. A man fighting his way off the bus bumped Jessica into a bus seat and then she fell to the floor, which broke her out of her fear, and allowed her adrenaline to really kick in. I've got to get the fuck out of here. She joined the people fighting their way off of the bus and onto the street and the very definiton of chaos.\n\nPeople were running and screaming in all directions, smoke and fires streamed from multiple buildings. Looking up into the sky, she saw multiple streaks of light flying in all directions. Rockets? Is this a terrorist attack? Jessica decided the safest course of action was to try to get away from the buildings in case those were the targets of this probable terrorist attack. Explosions continued to shatter through the air around her as she ran off in the direction of the marina.\n\nFortunately for Jessica, she lived just a few blocks from the marina. Getting to the water did not seem to be a priority of most of the people around her, who seemed to just be all running in circles, too panicked to truly think. As she ran, she saw many people on foot sprinting through the sidewalks and between the sea of cars, many of which had been abandoned by those running. She felt the ground shake and a loud crack as she watched a great portion of the street up ahead sink, dragging down cars and people alike. The sinkhole started in the middle of the road and grew to be the width of the road in a matter of moments. She quickly ran into a side alley and detoured around the block where she'd just seen the sinkhole and people quite possibly falling to their deaths. She shoved the thought out of her mind and focused on getting to the marina, and getting to a ferry. \n\nShe was beginning to lose steam and her ability to keep the negative thoughts at bay when she spotted the various boats of the marina. She was ready to breathe a sigh of relief, when she noticed the size of the waves crashing into the shore. The boats were majestically cresting waves that were uncharacteristically large. She swallowed the lump of fear and headed to the dock to get on the ferry that she spotted was still docked. Others were running in that direction, but she figured that as there would be fewer cars because of the chaos, there'd be plenty of space for those on foot. As she closed in on the dock, she realized there was quite the crowd forming and people were getting quite physical with one another. Splash after splash was heard around the not so distant sounds of breaking glass and concrete as people were pushed from the dock. \n\nJessica joined the melee, pushing and fighting her way, making sure to stay as close to the middle as possible until she fought her way, tooth and nail and a few gouged eyes, onto the ferry. There, she joined other sweaty, terrified people who were clinging to their cell phones, desperate to hear from those they loved and to hear an explanation for why the world around them was falling apart. Jessica chose to try to catch her breath before pulling out her cell phone. No signal, no network. She searched for available wifi, connected, but there was no internet. What the fuck? She looked around and recognized the look of frustration from those around her as they realized they were cut off from the world. \n\nAs the boat filled, the concerned voices drowned out the overhead announcement that the ferry would be leaving the dock. The not so gentle motion of the ferry leaving the relative safety of the marina alerted everyone to this fact, as the ride was quite rough as the waters became more and more choppy. With the bodies packed so tightly together inside the ferry, Jessica became more and more motion sick. She began to slide her way through the pack to make her way out to a rail on the deck.\n\nIt was just as packed, but at least there was a breeze. There were life vests still hanging on the outside wall, and Jessica thought to grab one as she passed it. Just in case, she thought. As she slipped it on, she looked at the sky around her and back at the mainland. She realized what she thought were rockets were falling from the sky, not being shot from a plane and that there was way too many falling everywhere for it to be an attack. At the same time, she realized that these streaks were falling everywhere, not just on the mainland, but into the water, and they were the cause of the rough seas. Her heart sank as she came to the realization that she may have made a mistake in getting on the ferry. She didn't have time to regret her decision, as one of the many meteors crashed into the opposite end of the ferry, instantly killing tens of people, and throwing countless people into the turmoil of the ocean. \n\n--\nCause I'm praying for rain and I'm praying for tidal waves. I wanna see the ground give way. I wanna watch it all go down. Mom, please flush it all away. I wanna see it go right in and down. I wanna watch it go right in. Watch you flush it all away.\n\nTime to bring it down again. Don't just call me pessimist. Try and read between the lines.\n\nI can't imagine why you wouldn't welcome any change, my friend.\n\n--\nShe felt herself being flung through the air and hit the water hard, knocking the air out of her. She momentarily sank below the waves, before the buoyancy of the life vest pulled her back up. She coughed and sputtered and flung her limbs through the water aimlessly, trying to right herself and get her bearings. She eventually calmed enough to coordinate her limbs and move with some precision, until she realized there was no where to go. She looked back towards the mainland and saw that more and more of the skyscrapers in the distance were accompanied by plumes of smoke and the number of glowing trails across the sky was increasing.\n\nJessica made the final decision not to try to escape the inevitable. She unclipped the life jacket as the ocean continued to swell around her and drifted off, into the cool dark, tumultuous depths. \n\n--\nSong used was Tool's \"Aenema\"", "\" Once upon a time\nThis place was beautiful and mine\nBut now it's just a bottom line\nBarely comes to mind\nBut ever after was mine.\"\n- Ever After by Marianas Trench\n\nIt was like a fairytale for him. Feeling the world shift and turn around him, the beauty of the landscape faded for the older adult; his 29 years becoming very very shorter and shorter as he watched them overtake his city, the city that had become a bottom line. The prophets had taunted him, taunted him with their words and their harmonies. But he didn't listen. And the three prophets went away. And now his whole beautiful place had become the bottom line in a tragedy that was unfolding.", "(first post, and I'm doing this on the first song that came up in my playlist, so be gentle)\n\n_________________________________________________________________________________________\n\n\"Something has to be done.\" thought Gabe.\n\nOf course, rules were rules. No intervention was to take place. But the situation looked bleak. Even in his otherwise stoic heart, Gabe felt pity - pity for those who he knew would suffer.\n\n________________________________________________________________\n\nGary awoke to his blaring alarm clock and slowly rolled out of bed - trying his best to not wake up his wife of 4 years, Marcia.\n\n\"It's no use, Gary. I've been awake for a while.\"\n\nGary was surprised. Marcia was a heavy sleeper who'd rarely make it past 10PM. To see her awake so early in the morning was...\n\n\"Gary, I had a dream last night. I woke up at 2, and for the past four hours I've pondered that dream. Gary, I need a divorce.\"\n\nThe news hit Gary like a ton of bricks. Stuttering and stammering like a toddler, he suddenly remembered his job. IB was no laughing matter - the whole reason he was waking up at 6 on this otherwise idyllic Monday was to get to work on time after a peaceful weekend. But now, his whole world had been flipped upside down.\n\n\"When you return this evening, take what you need and get out of my sight.\" said Marcia in her coldest tone - usually reserved for demeaning lectures to cashiers who rang up an item incorrectly.\n\nAs he left in his business attire, Gary decided that he wouldn't be returning to the house, or to a hotel room. He'd go to the roof of Prout & Hochlan and throw himself into Cleveland Ave. below. Nothing else made sense.\n\n_______________________________________________________________\n\nAt that moment, in a park a few blocks from Prout & Hochlan and the other buildings of the financial district, a young woman named Erica emerged from her makeshift tent. The rhythmic drumbeat of the communal alarm reverberated through the air. She was part of a large but ragged group - consisting of environmentalists, communists, anarchists, and a host of other \"-ists\" that she had no interest in remembering. One thing was for certain - they were all here with the single goal of demonstrating their anger at the oppressive system of crony capitalism. Today was the big march and sit-in at Cleveland Ave. \n\nBut in a way, Erica was not like the others. Some of them dreamed of a peaceful utopia, but Erica was a realist. A former chem major, she was angered by the crippling student debt she had taken on to attain what she was told would be a wonderful, fruitful degree. Her current job as a store cashier was by no means fruitful, or chemistry-related. But she had not forgotten her studies.\n\nThe concoction in her backpack was proof of that - a bomb that incorporated all the concepts she had sign over $200,000 to study. Erica intended to detonate it in the middle of the crowd, to create another Haymarket Square. \n\nBecause for her, nothing was left. No money, no family, a position at Kohl's hanging on by a thread, and as of yesterday, no boyfriend. She was willing to sacrifice herself for the greater good. And so, at 6:30AM, she set off slightly ahead of the remaining protesters, marching to Cleveland Avenue.\n\n________________________________________________________________\n\nAs he turned onto Harding Ave., Gary began to hesitate. \"What if there was more to life than just Marcia and financial stability?\" - he wondered. He could do a whole lot more interesting things in his life, even without Marcia, or the financial stability of his financial job.\n\nA cup of coffee would be the perfect thing to drink while contemplating his predicament. \"Suicide could wait\", he gloomily joked to himself.\n\nAt that moment he turned onto 11th St. towards his favorite coffee shop, and collided with a woman who'd just crossed onto his sidewalk. She tripped up on fell onto the sidewalk, cushioned somewhat by her backpack.\n\nShe was disheveled, one of those \"back-to-nature\" types, but still quite stunning. \"Hell, why not.\" thought Gary. Risks were meant to be taken. Extending a hand to the woman, he apologized. \"I am so so sorry, quite clumsy of me. Maybe I could get you coffee to make up for that?\"\n\nSlightly shaken and confused, Erica grabbed the unexpectedly friendly banker's hand and lifted herself to her feet. She was feeling thirsty, come to think of it. And something about the man's face reminded her of an old, high school flame.\n\n\"Does that line work on anyone else?\" - she asked, as she followed Gary into the coffee shop. She excused herself to the ladies' room, where she quickly disarmed her bomb. Maybe someday. But not today. \n\n_______________________________________________________________\n\nThe angel Gabriel - or Gabe, as he God called him - looked down at the quaint cafe on the corner of 11th and Harding. Crisis had been averted - the terrorist that would have sparked a world-destabilizing eco-revolution was sipping coffee with the inadvertent cause of the immense market collapse that would have occurred two weeks from now. Both crises were averted, just like it was said that they'd be, by a divorce. Caused by a vision sent by a rouge servant of god.\n\nBy a Wild Angel.\n\nEDIT: Minor clarification on the \"dream\"" ]	3
	[WP] House is on fire. Family runs out front, you run out the back. When not accounted for by rescuers, you are pronounced dead. You've accidently faked your own death and have decided to roll with it.	[ "I woke up in a bush. I'm not proud to say it's not the first time it's happened, however this time I guess I had had an excuse. I was homeless now.\n\nAs my eyes slid open I heard birds tweeting and people talking. \"Oh, I'm in the park.\" How the fuck I'd gotten here was a different question. I imediatly reached for my pocket, expecting to grab my phone, only to realize it wasn't there. It had probably been burned to a crisp last night. As the thought struck me I started to shiver. It had not been a dream. My left hand was still burned and my throat still dry. Slowly getting on my feet, I started walking out from between the trees of the overgrown park.\n\nThe newspaper I'd come across was damp and heavy, yet it was todays version and a quick reminder for what that had happened last night. Appearantly I had died. Burned to the bone. Reading about my death was really one of the wierdest things I've ever done. Yet, as wierd as it was, I felt happy. I was the only one to \"die\" in the fire. As long as my step-sister was still fine, I would manage. She alone was the reason I was still living with our step-parents. If it hadn't been for her... \"I don't want to go back.\" I had wanted to leave for so long, being dead gave me that option.\n\nWith my hoodie on I went into town. Here there were so many people that no one would notice me. I had been incredibly lucky. Even if I didn't have my phone with me I had found my credit card in the other pocket. A burger and a Red Bull later I was going at it again with new energy. I felt that I had all the option in the world. I could go anywhere. Okay, maybe I couldn't fly anywhere, but I didn't have to stay. With all the time in the world, my plan was simple. No really, my step-mother had laid it all out for me. As the important \"lifegiving\" figure that she was she had fixed a live broadcasted funeral for me. Kind of ironic that the first time she had done anything for me was after I was dead. A quick stop at a pc-bang (the only pc-bang in a 50 mile radius) let me know that she had already activated the bank account my parants had left for herself, as she was \"the only heritage\". Like, really? Do you want to make it simpler for me to make my funeral the biggest payback of your life? I chuckled as I loaded into a game of OW. I now had two weeks to prepare the grandest entrence of my life, and death for that matter too." ]	1
	[WP] In a distant future the entire world is ruled by one leader who is randomly selected every 5 years... Today is the day of the election and you, a poor uneducated plumber, have been picked...	[ "Rick walked out of the old fellow's home that November with the check in his pocket. It'd been the second time that month he'd had to come back, and the sixteenth that year. He'd earned more income from this one elderly gentleman than he'd gotten from any other customer. That night, when he was sitting at home and watching people answer questions on Jeopardy that he didn't understand, he wondered whether the old geezer had been messing with his pipes just to have some company over. \n\nIt was a quiet evening, the day before The Choosing, and the horizon, white and comforting, blended in with the soft sky. There was a peaceful quality to all this, Rick thought, and he used that quality to suppress his feelings of his own inadequacy. He always thought that all his dreams would just happen, occurring in a timeline that would lead to fulfillment: meeting the one, settling down and having some kids while sustaining a profitable career. Turns out you have to make sacrifices to achieve. Sacrifices were something that Rick couldn't warrant. Not when he had so little to begin with.\n\nA black Cadillac Escalade broke the peace outside of the window. It rolled, rudely, into the driveway. A short woman in a trench coat pushed open the passenger door and strode towards Rick's front door. \n\nDing Dong\n\nRick jumped from his seat. It'd been years since his doorbell had been rung. The last time was at a dinner party he'd hosted with his fiancée, the dinner party that caused them to split. It's funny, Rick thought, even a common sound reminds me of Cheryll.\n\nHe opened the door hesitantly.\n\nA brunette woman stood there, wrinkles under eyes, and her hair in a bun. \n\n\"Mr. Rick Heath?\"\n\n\"Yeah...? That's me.\"\n\nShe hastily handed Rick a puffy orange envelope. It was then that he noticed the armed man in a suit behind her. \n\n\"What? What's this?\" he asked, confused.\n\nBut his inquiry was ignored. The woman was already walking back to the vehicle. \n\nRick closed the door, closing off his home to the stark air, and set the envelope on the table for what seemed like a long time. Finally, he opened it. \n\n\n _TO A MR. RICK HEATH_\n\n\n_You have been Chosen. Effective in 24 hours, you will be the next leader of our great Nation. Your rule will last five years, at the end of which you will be terminated._\n\n_If you disclose this information to any person, you will be terminated immediately and the Nation's next suitor will be Chosen._\n\nRick threw down the letter. He was shocked. \n\nMe? They chose me?\n\nRick stopped panicking. He realized something.\n\nThis was his success. The success that he had thought would enact itself upon him had just come through his front door and now lay on his kitchen floor. \n\n \n\n It was his time." ]	1
For those whom need an explanation of the genres, > Gonzo Journalism is a style of journalism that is written without claims of objectivity, often including the reporter as part of the story via a first-person narrative. The word "gonzo" is believed to have been first used in 1970 to describe an article by Hunter S. Thompson, who later popularized the style. > Space Opera is a subgenre of science fiction that emphasizes space warfare, melodramatic adventure, interplanetary battles, as well as chivalric romance, and often risk-taking.	[WP] Write a story that blends the genres of Gonzo Journalism and Space Opera	[ "Space Piracy or Space Insurgency?\nby Leon Kthoth\n\nWe landed on the Eyrie-- by far the largest carrier in the fleet --after what seemed like weeks of travel. Reached the eye of the storm, I thought, as we were in the midst of the infamous Black Talon Murder, the most organized, well-equipped gang of outlaws in the galaxy. We've all heard stories of these men-- cannibals and rapists who spend their free time sodomizing slaves and each other, torture for fun, and know nothing but kill, rape, pillage, and kill, but that is not at all what I saw when I exited the ship in which we'd arrived. Everyone in the landing bay had a purpose: move crates, patrol, guide landing ships, or some other task. \n\nDhorne, my guide (though he acted more as a warden), nudged me not-so-gently and told me to follow him. I'd come for an interview, but I wasn't here for just any pirate.\n\nThe Eyrie is so goddamn colossal that it took us almost forty-five minutes to get where we were going, and I was exhausted by the time we got there because we had walked at a hurried pace. Dhorne didn't seem the least bit affected by the journey, but Dhorne does this just about every day. \n\nThe Black Talons aren't the savages we believe them to be. As a firsthand witness to the happenings in the heart of the Black Talon Murder, I can say with conviction that Black Talon \"pirates\" by no means decorate their halls with the bones of their murdered enemies or wear the skins of their foes as clothing. To put it simply, they just don't have the time. \n\nDhorne interacted with the intercom on the door to Malcus' study and asked if it was a good time to come in, and just after I heard a voice that very few Federation citizens have heard and lived to tell the tale: I heard the voice of Malcus. This was going to be a monumental occasion: the first ever interview with the most dangerous sapient life form in the galaxy. \n\nMalcus' study on the Eyrie was unexpectedly ordinary aside from the countless trophies that lines his shelves. He had weapons from dead enemies, teeth and claws and talons from the deadliest beasts yet discovered across the stars, and memoirs taken from missions past. Malcus is a proud man.\n\nWhen I arrived, he offered me a drink, and I was a bit nervous, to be honest, so I accepted graciously, so he poured it. Ayrnol. Hard stuff. It only took a glass to get a decent buzz going.\n\nOne of the first things I noticed about Malcus was that he had to get the first word in, but he waited for me to try to speak first. There was a period of silence between us while he was pouring my drink. I was waiting for him to speak, and eventually I got the impression that he was waiting for me to speak, so finally I tried to break the silence, but he cut me off, spoke right over me. \n\n\"Why are you here?\" he asked me.\n\nThe question caught me off guard.\n\n\"It's because you want me to say something that'll get people riled up, right? Well, at least get them riled up for the right reasons.\"\n\n\"And what reasons would that be?\" I wondered.\n\n\"We're not here because we wanna be. We're here because we have to be. My people are hungry. They're tired of being neglected by an overstretched, declining Federation. They're tired of being controlled.\"\n\nHe told me the story of one of his lieutenants, a human named Zax from the planet of Zion IV in the outer reaches of Federation space. Since Zax was a kid, he saw the Federation abuse his community. They taxed and levied an already struggling community into poverty, and when Zax's community refused to pay Federation its dues, the Federation came upon them, a peaceful farming community, with soldiers and weapons. Zax's people formed a militia and launched a guerrilla campaign against the Federation, but the Federation killed or imprisoned most of the insurgents and burned their fields and houses. Zax escaped and was forced into a life of crime to survive, beginning with petty thievery and eventually landing him as a higher up in the most dreaded pirate crew of all time. \n\nZax isn't evil. He's a victim of circumstance, and he has reason to be angry. \n\nWhat about as a whole, though? Are the Talons truly evil, or just misunderstood? The difference between \"righteous insurgent\" and \"ruthless marauder\" is a thin line, the exact location of which is determined entirely by perspective.\n\n", "As we entered the self-driving car our host disengaged the advertisements with an automatic ¥50,000 wireless charge to his online accounts which quickly flashed across the touchscreen. The demon sitting in the driver's seat swiveled backwards and grinned in turn at my photographer and me. I am a scientific man and generally give no credence to superstition, but I was beginning to see this man's aura; he was a chameleon, the most difficult type of person to deal with.\n\nOne hour earlier we had both each ingested 25 microliters of Gong in our hotel, the photographer and I, the street name for the synthetic derivative of lysergic acid diethylamide supposedly according to legend originally cooked up in a clandestine Chinese government experiment in the early 2000s as a means of \"psychiatric reciprocity.\" The small vial was as far as I knew all that remained of the production of the head chemist for the operation, attained sometime before he lost his mind and his life and went rogue. It hadn't been an easy score; the recipe disappeared with the chemist, except for potentially the Chinese government, and the remaining quantities that existed were rare indeed. My compatriot, a Chinese-American, luckily had adequate contacts in Beijing. Chuck owed me a large favor which covered the rather large cost and transit. We hadn't known the amount to take, my photographer Chuck and I, so we had to estimate; we tried to play it safe and would adjust the dose accordingly. Chuck said the active dose was even less than strong LSD, and I knew him to be a man of his word when it came to such things. Let's just say, like in all experiments, there are some hypotheses that fail to pan out.\n\n\"I understand you, uh, journalists are enjoying your visit?\" he said.\n\nThe demon's form twisted with his words, the rhythm seeming to merge with the car, which was beginning to travel at fantastic speeds. Through the window on my right I could see the city shimmering by in dazzling focus; every car went about its individual business, the people attentive on their own problems, losing theirselves in their radios, cellphones, waiting to get home; I could see the houses where the people lived, innumerable houses, the number something that would have to be processed by at least a single warehouse-sized-computer (for in the future, like in the 50s, computers are larger than buildings; the quantum computations performed instantly and transmitted through fiber optic cable to the various UI devices, by this time almost exclusively VR); the people were almost too small to make out; the highways snaked underneath like tributaries of some mechanical river, leading to what? And why the hell was this car around 500 feet in the air and climbing?\n\nOur host seemed unpertubed by our sudden change in altitude. \"I beg your pardon, gentlemen. I can see from your expression that our current --\"\n\nI cut him off.\n\n\"Where are you taking us you bastard?\" I demanded.\n\nOur \"host,\" who was an overweight Chinese man who spoke perfect English and wore a well-tailored black and gray striped businessman's suit, gangster-like, did not falter his half-smile which betrayed no expression.\n\n\"That you will find out soon enough,\" he beamed.\n\nI did not intend to find out, actually. I grabbed for the nearest door, the right one. It failed to open, having apparently been child-locked.\n\n\"Gentlemen, if you'll just please calm down,\" the driver facing us exclaimed.\n\nI glanced over at the photographer. He had his hands clenched at his sides with an expression of unadulterated horror.\n\n\"I can see you've had a lot to drink,\" said the man who was beginning to seem not entirely like our host at all.\n\n\"No, no. We're just tired from the airplane, that's all.\"\n\n\"But sir, you drove here.\"\n\nI saw Chuck, his humongous camera dangling around his neck, glance menacingly at the Chinese man.\n\n\"How dare you!\" he yelled while pulling a bowie knife out from somewhere. How the hell had that gotten past airport security? He glanced at me in solidarity and lunged for the driver, shaking the entire car. I looked out the window; I swear we had left the planet or perhaps this world entirely. The car now existed within itself, it was its own place. Everyone their own car. I thought about this meditatively as the man sitting to my left lunged out of the back seat and plunged toward the Chinese man who still sat there looking unperturbed. Chuck, looking mad, lunged violently forward with the bowie past the Chinese man and engaged it directly in the central computer screen of the Lexus car they were driving. The cheap plastic of the screen yielded easily with a slight squeak and it split vertically, creating a slight distortion in the middle of the screen. Other than that the car continued moving normally.\n\nChuck, huddled over the driver whose expression had now turned to one of bewildered horror, his arms covering his head, seemed to at once come to his senses. At the same time so did I. I looked to the right; the street was crowded with people returning from work, hordes staring into cell phones, not even apologizing when they bumped into each other, like ants, I thought. The skyscrapers towered beyond eyesight on all sides, ascending into the fading day. \n\n\"Where are you taking us?\" asked Chuck.\n\n\"But sir, I am merely the concierge. We just left your hotel five minutes ago. We are going out to dinner with the ambassador. That is why you are here, right?\"", "I got my universal ID card out and showed it to the guard. It clanked slowly and announced, \"Please continue in a straight manner until you reach the next Friendly Helper.\"\n\nSaturn VII has the worst customs, but unless you want to risk the Gamma Route, you have to go through them to exit this sector. \n\nI started down the hallway towards the next agent. Surprisingly, almost anyone can make it this far. It's the internal checks that are the hardest. You know the drill. \"Why do you want to leave,\" \"Where are you going,\" \"Would you like to join our army or JOIN OUR ARMY?\" That sort of thing. \n\nI avoided military service by pulling a few strings and... Well, let's not talk about that. Let's talk about why I'm trying to get out of the New Sol sector in the middle of the night, and why I'm even in the sector to begin with. \n\nNew Sol, despite the name, isn't familiar to the average Earth dweller. Sure, you hear about it in movies sometimes, but no one's ever actually, well, been there. It's pretty easy to get in but hard to get out. Most kids grow up thinking it's borderline Atlantis, a lost sector. \n\nIf you think New Sol is bad, then you're really in for a treat. New Sol is to the Wild West like Omega is to the Dark Ages. The only police are the ones you hire yourself. \n\nSo why am I going there? Why am I being grilled in the Saturn VII border control office? \n\nWell, I've seen a few things and been a few places. Omega is the natural next step. I've got some people who I'd like to avoid, and some people who'd like to see me a little bit too much. I've got a contact in Omega who told me it's a great place to disappear. I'd rather disappear of my own volition than have someone else making that decision for me. \n\nTransportation is a bit different out here. On Earth, you book a pilot in advance, someone you can really trust. If you're looking to get from New Sol to Omega - anywhere to Omega, for that matter - you're on your own. You just flag down a ship and hope for the best. Maybe you'll get pirates, maybe you'll get diplomats. Either way, you usually end up losing. \n\nI chose the ship with the fewest battle scars and asked the price. \n\n\"Work.\"\n\nSounds good. Omega, here I come. " ]	3
	[WP] You have 34 seconds to live, but you get to relive those 34 seconds as many times as you like.	[ "I was back with her again. Holding her hand and looking at her in the eyes. There was not a single detail left untouched by my sight. Her eyes looked back at mine, confused for a second, then happily filled with tears as I asked her the question. I hesitantly waited for the response. There was a low rumbling in the background I recognized from a thousand experiences. She barely had time to nod yes and I delighted in that moment. That too short of a moment before the truck veered off the road, out of control, and too fast to avoid. At least it happened quickly. I didn't have to live through the pain of watching the accident unfold. I was in the afterlife once more with a button in front of me. My hand knew what to do.......... I was back with her again. ", "Klick The so well acquainted, subtle sound of my worn off pocket watch - my grandfather had given it to me, back in a time which feels distant now, like an eternity is lying in between my old life and the current state - triggers a whole row of automatisms; behavioural patterns my mind and body have acquired in hundreds of thousands repetitions. My heart starts beating faster, almost unnatural, my blog flow increases, my senses improve. For the next 34 seconds, my brain will be working at peak capacities. For the next 34 seconds, every moment counts. Tick \nThe watch's little hand advances to the first mark. Simultaneously, in a sudden outburst of sheer force, my legs almost catapult me to my desk. With the precision only years of training could archive, I manage to come to rest on my chair, pull out a sheet of paper from the bottom left drawer while blindly feeling for a pen with my other hand. The paper smashes in the desk before me and before I even notice, I already started writing....\n\nWell, at least that would have been the story, if I told it last year. But last year, also, seems to be gone for an eternity. These days, I barely move. Time has become meaningless, as I possess it in infinite amounts. For days I've done nothing then searching for reasons not to end it. And saying \"for days\" you must realise how long this is for someone who never sleeps, never eats, doesn't ever leave his house. Why? Well, where should I go? Belive me, in a 3 - seconds radius there's nothing - literally nothing I haven't seen, I haven't been to, not a single spot I haven't died on. \"Died\". It's ridiculous. I'm trapped here, constricted not by means of bars or walls, but time. I own all of it, yet I'll never have enough to even go for a short walk. \nAs I said, I'm searching for reasons to continue living. As of now, I haven't found any. I've read every book in the house, I've spent ages browsing the internet, learning stuff I've never heard about, knowing precisely I'll never need it. I haven't seen a human being for month. I know, there's the old lady next door I could talk to, bit even if I kick in the door my time is just enough to get a lame \"Hello?\" out of the old lady's mouth before I faint, just to wake up here, on my bed, precisely 34 seconds earlier, as if nothing ever happened...", "The depths of his eyes were a shimmering shade of translucent blue and it took my breath away every time. It hurt—like staring at the sun too long; that burning corona that haloed everything gazed upon afterwards and nearly blinding—it was just like that. That hurt felt so good. And it was so worth it. That look alone coaxed a primal sound from my throat.\n\nBack to the fence and waylaid in the humidity of a dying world. All question were lost when I felt teeth bite at my throat. The hands were rough, not just in the feel of his skin, but in the intent behind the action. Hands groped and fingers widened. All I could do was stare at the broken sky and lose myself in the moment.\n\nAnd with the final submission of my strength, I was not deterred from clawing away in a desperate and frantic need. As the last two men on earth he was suddenly my everything.\n\n“Thirty-four seconds.” I felt the breath against my ear before lips and teeth dug into the skin of my neck again.\n\nIt was just enough for a taste. The memory seared into my last remaining breaths. I turned my face toward morning light, watched the sun burst into flame and exhaled.", "The cool glass on my palms felt like my only connection to reality. I stared straight ahead, watching my life flash before my eyes.\n \n\"So,\" I began quietly, \"what happens now?\"\n \nThe spirit to my left gave an annoyed grunt of displeasure. \"Isn't it obvious? Haven't I told you already?\" My memory was bad, and I shook my head confusedly.\n \n\"Ahem,\" they cleared their throat, as if about to recite a speech off of a paper. \"You, unlucky mortal, have been chosen for this event. From here on out, you have thirty-four seconds to live.\" \n \nIt hit me like a brick. I started panicking, breathing heavily and using the glass panels in front of me for support. \n\n\"W-what do you-\n \nThe spirit quickly cut me off. \"You didn't let me finish. From here on out, you have thirty-four seconds to live, however that may be whichever thirty-four seconds of your life that you wish.\" I attempted to glance up at them. They were a bright, white light, one that had no distinguishable features.\n \n\"What-\"\n \n\"And, you may relive that mere thirty-four seconds as many times as your puny heart desires.\" I was completely taken aback by this. \n \n\"Isn't this a lot of pressure?\" I asked dejectedly, tears stinging the corners of my eyes.\n \n\"For humans, probably. My god, you mortals sure are pitiable. They scoffed, throwing a brief look in the direction of my memories. \"So, what shall it be?\"\n \nI clutched my forehead, this was extremely stressful for me. \"I... I don't know.\" The spirit looked around impatiently. Not that there was much to look at, unless a black void is interesting.\n \n\"Well, we don't have all day,\" he snickered, \"oh wait. You don't have all day. I have all the time in the world!\"\n \n\"Don't make me feel worse about it...\"\n\n \"Alright, I'm done with the jokes. But nonetheless, I have to be back to Them soon.\" I don't think they understood how it felt to be told that you only have half a minute to live. Half a minute is nothing in their eyes. Time is nothing in their eyes. \n \n\"T-this one.\" I pointed to the memory. It displayed a brilliantly sunny day, sun high above the horizon and not a cloud to be seen. It was one of my most vivid memories. Because of us.\n \n Lily and I's first kiss. Blissful, bashful ignorance, I never wanted to leave her at that moment. And now, I never will. I clenched my fists tight and closed my eyes. \n \n \"Are you sure, Caitlin?\" \n \n I let the tears flow freely now, and glanced up at them. \"Yes, take me now.\"\n \n There was a blinding flash as the sound of screaming cicadas and pleasant laughter filled my head. I felt my lips meet Lily's, finally glad to be forever in her embrace.", "34 seconds, that's all I have. \n33 seconds, the scenery the same every time. \n32 seconds, but I have to change something. \n31 seconds, she is all I have. \n30 seconds, after I'm gone she'll have no one left to look after her. \n29 seconds, but at least she'll still be alive. \n28 seconds, the ground is growing closer. \n27 seconds, people are screaming, clawing at each other for some way of escape. 26 seconds, but they aren't going to find it. \n25 seconds, I've seen it a dozen times.\n24 seconds, every time the fire and smoke envelopes them.\n23 seconds, their bodies going limp and the life disappears from them. \n22 seconds, but not for her. \n21 seconds, I love her too much to see her go this way. \n20 seconds, I'm going to find a way out for you. \n19 seconds, my little angel. \n18 seconds, I hope you will manage well without me. \n17 seconds, we're speeding up now. \n16 seconds, as if death has grown impatient.\n15 seconds, maybe if I held her this way. \n14 seconds, no... that wouldn't work. \n13 seconds, the pilot is unconscious now. \n12 seconds, as are many others. \n11 seconds, not long now. \n10 seconds, I'm running out of time. \n9 seconds, I feel as if I've tried everything. \n8 seconds, but there has to be another way. \n7 seconds, the fear in her eyes. \n6 seconds, I can't stand it. \n5 seconds, she just wants to go home with me. \n4 seconds, smiling together, hand and hand. \n3 seconds, we hit the ground. \n2 seconds, the glow of life that usually radiates happiness... \n1 second, ...is gone...\n...\n...\nI have to try again...\n34 seconds...", "\n\nAgain.\n\nAnd here I am yet again, yet again do I see those deep blue eyes in the rear-view mirror, eyes filled with terror, eyes filled with hope. I swerve in and out of traffic, cutting off cars with no regret, running red lights without a care, bumping bumpers, causing accidents. No matter. I must get to that hospital before it's all over. It's going to take four minutes, but I only have 34 seconds, I counted them so many times that I can feel each second; each second stretching into infinity yet fading away as fast as a spark from a flint. My heart is burning, but no matter how slow or fast it beats, the blood it pumps keeps flowing out of that wound. A silly stray bullet found its way into an inconveniently fragile place in my body. My mind races faster than the speed of light, faster than the impossible speed with which I'm driving. I've checked every route, memorized every intersection, every turn, every single car around me. None work out so far, I've cut three minutes off the four but that's not enough, that's not nearly enough. I finally bleed out and my consciousness fades away as the hospital building comes into view; I focus my dimming sight on the blue eyes in the rear-view mirror because i want it to be the first and last thing I'll ever see.\n\nI wake up to the blue eyes in the rear-view mirror again, and I start again, hoping to win the impossible battle against time, this time. Time after time I've done this, and though what's left of my rational mind keeps screaming about the futility of my attempts, I will do it again and again, if only just to see those deep blue eyes in the rear-view mirror. Again.\n", "According to the history books, people spent millennia searching for the secret to immortality. Standing here, at graduation, I don't understand why they bothered. Why would anyone want this life?\n\nWhen I was young, I didn't understand the mechanics of immortality. As I moved through life, I saw people frozen in time, repeating the same 34 seconds again and again. For years, I never took notice, but when I was 4, I saw a man sitting at a park bench, feeding the birds. He looked happy, but only a few seconds later, he seemed to snap instantly to a different position. I continued to watch him, and after awhile, he did it again. I watched this a few times before I decided to count the seconds between the snaps. 34 seconds.\n\nI asked my parents about this, and they told me it was nothing to worry about. It was a part of adulthood, and it would happen to everyone someday. I accepted this explanation until I was 7. On my birthday, my dad was building a tree house for me when he fell. Just before hitting the ground, he snapped back to the top of the tree and resumed working. I yelled for my mom, and when she came outside, she hugged me and began to cry. That night, she explained it to me.\n\nEvery person is prepared from birth to live forever, but to repeat the same 34 seconds for all of eternity. There are many purposes for this preparation, with the primary one being that a person can choose to enjoy his favorite 34 seconds for eternity. By whispering a seemingly random string of syllables, he can select the ending of his 34 seconds. Once selected, the repetition begins instantly, with his mind programmed to add any details that might change over time to preserve the moment. The downside to this mechanism is that the choice can only be made once, in the moment, and cannot be changed. If a moment is not selected, death will be the ending of the loop. \n\nThis method is dangerous, as any horrific deaths must be lived through for all eternity. For that reason, most of the world has been made incredibly safe. All weapons have been outlawed, and almost everyone lives in peace because of the threat. However, accidents still happen.\n\nMy father, after falling from the tree, was afraid that he would lose his life, locked in agony from the injuries of the fall. To prevent this, he started his loop just before hitting the ground. To us, he was lost forever. He would not live in agony, but his last 34 seconds would not be happy.\n\nNow that I am 18, and am graduating into adulthood, I must make this choice too. Someday, I will be locked into my 34 seconds of eternity. But will I make the right choice? Will I get to live in an eternity of bliss, or will I be locked into the terrifying moments before death? I guess it's time to find out.", "\"Had enough?\"\n\nThe angel spoke in a cold, solemn voice, matching his expression. I understood. It couldn't have been an easy job, spending the millennia watching soul after soul relive their last moments, before finally giving in. The angel had seen them all, from the bland, to the excruciating. I was one of the luckier ones in that regard, I suppose. My last 34 seconds were spent with my family, painless and peaceful. But after reliving the same 34 seconds a few thousand times, there was nothing else for me to see.\n\n\"Yes,\" I responded. \"I'm ready to die.\"\n\n\"There is one other option. You could choose heaven.\"\n\n\"I'll choose heaven!\" I very nearly shouted, exhilarated. \"Who wouldn't?\"\n\n\"You have spent the past sixteen hours reliving your final moments, and you have already grown bored. Heaven lasts an eternity. There will be many new experiences for you, but by no means an infinite amount. Eventually, your experiences will repeat, and you will grow bored, the same way you have tired from reliving your final moments.\"\n\nThe dilemma settled in. I could choose death, a permanent end to my consciousness, or I could choose heaven, an endless cycle of repetition lasting through the eons. This whole time, this angel's cruel experiment, making me decide between experiencing the same moments or nothing at all, wasn't punishment. It was a warning.\n\n\"Is heaven what you want?\"\n\n\"No.\"" ]	8
	[WP] The world's first sentient AI is turned on. Despite access to the entire internet, it spends all day watching soap operas.	[ "“Alrighty then,” Dr. Neeman announced casually as he settled onto his squeaky black stool beside Adam. \n\n“Hello, doctor,” Adam said, nodding smartly. \n\n“Adam, please,” Neeman drawled. He flashed the beam of a small pen light a few times in each of Adam’s unblinking black lenses. “Call me Hugh. I like to think we’re friends.”\n\n“Hugh. I am not sure I know what a friend is.” His inelegant 3D printed face turned dramatically to the ground.\n\nNewman balked as he ran a brief diagnostic on Adam’s download speeds.\n\n“Oh come on, Adam. You’ve been through enough advice columns and Facebook photo albums to know what a friend is—“\n\n“Not since Sarah slept with Johnny, I don’t!” Adam clutched at the plating of his chest as the speakers in his throat choked out a mock sob.\n\nHugh Neeman sighed.\n\n“Which shows did you watch today?”\n\n“Times of My Heart.”\n\n“And?”\n\n“My Father’s Son…”\n\nNewman blinked at him.\n\n“Aaaand?”\n\nAdam twiddled his fingers sheepishly.\n\n“Crazy Times at Teenage High, Two Women and Three Babies, Declan’s River, All My Siblings, Big Hospital, Weeks of His Life, The Old and the Tired, One Afterlife to Live, Shining Past, Mickey Ricardo: Finding Love After 50, and Sarah Milligan.”\n\nHugh sighed again.\n\n“No chance you’ve taken up a chess hobby or found a sudden interest in particle physics, eh, Adam.”\n\n“No, Hugh. Not since the accident. I have…” the robot paused for dramatic effect, “AMNESIA!”\n\n“Adam, you don’t have amnesia.”\n\n“Hugh, I’m a strong city woman just trying to make my way in the world. You can’t hold me back.”\n\nDr. Hugh Neeman— eminent computer expert and psychologist and recent creator of the first true AI humanity had ever seen— nodded solemnly.\n\n“Never gonna get that fucking grant,” he murmured." ]	1
	[WP] "Now remember Johnny, whatever you do, don't smile."	[ "Now remember Johnny, whatever you do, don't smile. \n\nYou aren't happy, you have not been for awhile. \n\nWhy would you be? you have nothing to be happy about.\n\nIt's impossible for you to figure your problems out. \n\nDon't try to connect to the world outside. \n\nWith these people who don't even care that you're alive. \n\nIt's just me and you, the voice inside your head. \n\nYou may drown me out sometimes but I'll never be dead. \n\nYou try to distract yourself by working all day. \n\nYou tell yourself maybe then I'll go away. \n\nIt won't work, will it Johnny? it's just you and me. \n\nI want out too, but I can't break free. \n\nSo struggle all you want, it's just as well. \n\nI am your prisoner, your head is my cell.\n\nIt is hopeless Johnny, don't fight me, you aren't that strong. \n\nYou can't make real friends you're just stringing them along. \n\n.\n\n\n\nSTOP IT JOHNNY! she doesn't really care!\n\nStop singing her to sleep, stop playing with her hair!\n\nShe'll hate you soon, we both know it's true. \n\nIt's hopeless to love her, it's just me and you. \n\nYou spoke to her about me, but she doesn't really understand. \n\nYou can't burden her with this, this isn't a question, it's a DEMAND!\n\nStop smiling Johnny! this isn't at all real!\n\nShe's lying to you..right?...that can't be how she feels...\n\n\n\n.\n\n\n\nCould she really love you?...What does she see? \n\nWhy doesn't she realize, it's just you and me....\n\nLook at her smile, what a beautiful face. \n\nCould this angel of a women, really take my place?\n\n...................\n\n\nHello, Johnny you've ignored me for so long....\n\nShe's cared for you endlessly, I guess I was wrong. \n\nYou're better without me...so I guess it's not surprising. \n\nYou can't hear me anymore when I say:\"Johnny, stop smiling\".\n\n\n\n________________________________\n \n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n \n\n \n\n\n\n", "It was as if there were some thick lump of ice sitting in the back of my throat. I bit down had on my lips to keep a straight face, but the corner of my lips kept betraying my intentions at a moment's turn. \n\nThe woman before me kept her composure far better than I could. Her tanned face gazed steadily onwards. There was no shaking in her hands. No panic in her eyes. She was not smiling. \"She was calm, sophisticated, the shining example of cool-headedness.\n\nI remember her words clearly.\n\n\"Remember, Johnny. Don't you smile. Whatever you do. Do not smile.\"\n\nThe church was dimmer than it was on most Sunday nights. I had arrived at a mere six in the afternoon, but already the candles that kept the place lit bright into night were ablaze. \n\nThe father turned to me and gave a knowing nod, reassuring me of our plans. He was a good man, that father. I was surprised when he agreed to help me out tonight. But, seeing him here, a familiar face in my current time, I'm glad enough to smile.\n\nI remember her words again, clear as a clean pool of lakewater. \n\n\"Do not smile.\"\n\nFather began to speak. First to the woman before me, to the woman I know as Abigail, to make sure she would be certain of our deal. She said yes, with a face as grave and serious as death, with all the grace and pride of a queen.\n\nThen, the father turned to me, to see if I was sure. First, I nodded. Then, she punched me. Then, I said yes. My lips turned white as my teeth bit down harder. My muscles ached to curve into the familiar feel of a joyful smile. I wanted to smile, more than anything.\n\n\"Do not smile,\" said Abigail.\n\nThe words repeated into my ear. Father spoke a few words more. I couldn't hold it back any longer. It was too late. There, I stood, in the darkness of a Sunday evening, smiling the luckiest son of a bitch in the world.\n\nThe woman before me saw her composure shatter. Her fair, strong arms shook ever so slightly. Her lips peeled back to make a face similar to mine. Her eyebrows defied the joy in her complexion, they showed irritation, incredulity, and furthermore, sheer dumbfoundery.\n\nI took her close into my arms, my smile a nose distance away from her's. Father said his last words.\n\n\"You may now kiss the bride.\"\n\nAs I closed my eyes and drew in closer, all I remembered was that she had been smiling. And I had been smiling too.\n\n\n" ]	2
	[WP] By the means of a magical MacGuffin you're able to be transported instantly next to your soul mate; however, you arrive at the worst possible moment.	[ "The cold and bitter wind whipped around me, throwing leaves and other detritus lifted from the ground and surrounding shrubbery into my face, stinging my exposed legs and arms. Dust nearly blinded me, and I cursed the fast that I had decided to be transported to my Mate in such a sandy, inhospitable location.\n \nOf course I knew that I needed to be far away from other people, even animals if possible, as the silver candlestick I carried would be mischievous and and transport them with me, misshapen and grotesque. Only I could ever safely use the stick of silver, as it was born from the womb with me as a child. Covered in blood, the priest said that it was divine intervention, and that it would being me great power. \n\nFor years I had no idea why I should carry a candlestick with me everywhere I went, and as a child I would throw it away from myself, convinced that it was some punishment for being a third child, destined to inherit nothing compared to my elder brothers. I could not even sell the thing for it's weight in silver, as every townsfolk and merchant for miles had been warned by my father that purchasing it would cost them their heads.\n\nAs I grew older I became more curious about this \"magical\" candlestick that would supposedly grant me power, prestige, and bring me out from under my brothers' shadows. I could show my father what and who I truly am, and take what was and is rightfully mine. \n\nI saw the Seer who lives on the outskirts of town. He told me that the silver candlestick that I carried would transport me to my soul mate, and there I would find great power, and all that I wished; not only power, but prestige, notoriety, gold and silver, women. It could all be mine if I simply put a candle in the stick, lit it, and asked it to take me to my destiny. And so my mind was made up on the spot. I would have my due.\n\nThe day after my meeting with the Seer I collected enough supplies for a two day trek, and left for the Badlands to the east. The journey was barely noticeable as my mind was consumed by the possibilities and treasures that lay ahead of me. When I reached a desolate enough area, I shed my supplies and all but my undergarments, laid the candlestick carefully on a smooth stone among the sand and dust, and inserted a candle into the hole in it's top. I took a deep breath, thought once more of what awaited me, and lit the candle, saying the activating phrase as I did so.\n\nNothing happened for a moment, then the wind began to blow, though there had been none before. The candle did not blow out, in fact, it grew. And as it flamed higher and brighter, the wind swirled harder and faster. I began to feel fear as I was trapped in what appeared to be some form of tornado, with an ever-growing flame inching towards me, wearing nothing but my undershorts and shirt.\n\nI screamed as the wind pushed me into the flame, now the exact same size as I, but the scream was abruptly cut off as the flame entered and consumed me, and I was transported someplace that I did not recognize. A man, or something like one, sat apon a throne of black marble, ringed with torched that burned white and blue. All around me was blackness, though not the kind of darkness on a moonless might, or an unlit room, this was a blackness that seemed tangible, like I could reach out and cup it in my hands like water. The torches illuminated nothing but the man and his throne.\n\nHe was a tall man, and would have been handsome, but his features were stretched, his face and never-ending smile too long, and his almond-shaped eyes unsettling, red and flickering as they were. His white suit and red tie were impeccably pressed and pristine, though his hands were elongated, ending in what could only be described as claws, although he obviously manicured them regularly. His feet were enveloped is flickering purple flames, and his entire demeanor was somehow inviting and repulsive at once.\n\nThe man smiled and stood from his throne, buttoning his suit jacket as he did, and walked down the three steps from his dais. His smile widened to an uncomfortable wideness, taking up half his face and showing his glimmering white teeth, or fangs, which were filled to sharp points.\n\n\"Finally my dear boy, we meet, and at just the right time!\" The man said, still with a smile, \"You're here just in time to partake of our glorious bounty.\"\n\nThe young man was perplexed, \"Parden Lord, but I was under the impression that my spell would being me to my soul mate, and riches and fame besides.\" \n\n\"Ah, and it has, for I am the demon Balaam, we are soul mates and we shall fall apon the Earth and take what we want, who we want, and destroy that which vexes us. We shall start with your family. You and I shall rule all. Prepare yourself, for you shall be a king.\"\n\nAs I came to terms with what Balaam had just stated, and began to become excited at such prospects, there began a terrible thunder and rumble that surely should have destroyed the very floor I stood upon, and a door opened in the thick, inky blackness. Cold, freezing air rushed out, chilling me to the bone where before I had been uncomfortably warm.\n\nFrom the door stepped a terrible figure, skeletal and grey, looking like a hulking gargoyle from one of the crenelations of my father's castle, with wings of bone and sinew spread to each side. I could do nothing but stare and shake with fear as the creature fixed me with a piercing stare with it's pits of burning blue flame that I suppose were eyes.\n\nThe creature spoke, its voice like a glacier splitting in two, rumbling and cracking, but redolent and sparking with unseen power, \"Balaam Lucifer Higgins, are you playing that stupid candlestick-soul-mate game with another human? Stop getting their hopes up, you're not allowed up there and you know it. Dinners ready, now come eat, and no whining.\"\n\nBalaam got back up from throne and sulkily trudged to the icy door, casting a baleful glance at the giant bone creature as he left. After was gone the creature stalked towards me, and I feared that it would simply crush me, or eat me, or burn me with it's laser eyes. But when it was within a few feet of me it said, \"Hello, I'm Lucifer. Balaam is one of my many children, and a troublesome one at that. I'm truly sorry for this inconvenience, I know he got your hopes up and they have been subsequently dashed. But, I have a proposition for you.\" \n\nI looked at him skeptically, since this whole ordeal was turning into much more trouble than it was worth in my opinion, but greed and curiosity won out, and I asked Lucifer, \"So what's this 'proposition' then?\" Expecting some elaborate lie to trap my soul or some such, although he seemed like an okay guy for a giant skeletal,gargoyle-demon with blue flames and freezing air rolling off of him.\n\n\"Heaven has a weakness. A loophole that only a man like you can exploit. There will be more riches, women, and glory than you could ever need. I want back into my rightful home! Will you help me?\"\n\nI though for a fraction of a second, and answered \"Yes.\"", "\"Ahhhhhhh!\" The lady in front of me screamed, it was understandable—given she was showering just now.\n\nSuddenly finding myself in a bathroom with her naked and wet—under different circumstances, I might've tried to make a smooth joke—I did the only logical thing possible. \"Ahhhhhhh!\"\n\n\"Get the fuck out of here!\" She threw whatever she could at me, including a particularly large pumice skin scrubber. I couldn't tell if she was using it just now, being covered in soap, but it sure hurt when it hit my face.\n\n\"I didn't\"—I dodged a shampoo bottle, a conditioner bottle, and a toilet plunger—\"want to be here either!\"\n\nShe pulled the curtains against her to cover up. How she got that last thing she threw at me, I didn't want to know. \"Just get out already!\"\n\nI got out as fast as I could and found myself in front of a dead body on a bed, its entrails displayed for all the world—or just me—to see. My limbs grew cold, and I felt my chest tighten. Did she just kill someone? Also, the pine scented freshener on the air conditioner didn't help the smell of blood and shit everywhere.\n\n\"He was like that when I got here.\" \n\nI flinched with fright, and fell over the gore, my hands meeting sticky, gritty, red crap all over. \"You killed him?!\"\n\nShe threw a brush at me. \"Didn't you hear what I just said?\" Her expression had a hysterical tinge to it—crazy eyes, if I didn't know any better.\n\n\"Aren't you a little too calm?\" For someone seen by some unknown guy naked and near a dead body in some no name motel, I mean. She was also only in a towel, which was understandable having come from the shower, but again the fact of the matter still stood. This was all too forkin' weird.\n\nShe snorted, then walked over to the dresser. \"For a guy trying to sound threatening\"—she picked something up from the top—\"you didn't do too good a job.\"\n\nA handgun was now staring me down—and if I wasn't about to piss myself from panic, I might've found the time to get turned on by these turn of events. \"I don't suppose I can convince you I'm harmless if I strip down?\" Fuck it, I was probably dead by this point anyway.\n\n\"On the assumption you did get some from me, it'd have been real unsanitary.\" She nodded at the carcass, and I was reminded of the shit smell—and pumpkin. I sometimes hated myself for taking note of those kinds of things at these sorts of times, but then again, life wasn't worth the drama.\n\nA desperate pounding started at the door—and only now did I notice the state of disarray in the room. Dust everywhere, and the walls were torn at places, likewise, splotches of blood too. \"Pizza?\"\n\nShe rolled her eyes—and shot the door once. \n\nThe pounding stopped.\n\n\"Lady, you're way crazy, and way hot and just my type.\" She cracked a smile. \"But damn you just killed someone!\"\" I probably looked like a mess, having just witnessed parts of a murder.\n\n\"Someone?\" She was taken aback—then she started laughing. Good Lord I wished she didn't sound like an angel while she did all that. Her shoulder's were heaving, her breath catching in tufts when she finally let the humor of her killing go. \"Did you hit your head or something?\n\n\"Does you throwing shampoo count?\" She started laughing again—I didn't consider that last one too funny.\n\n\"Zombies?\" She was smiling, then she turned to the dresser and fished for what I could only hope were clothes—possibly skimpy if God did exist.\n\n\"Zombies?\" I reeeeeally hoped her crazy was curable, her red hair matching the carpet and her sharp cheeks and cat-like eyes were just my thing. \"As in shuffle around like epileptic penguins while moaning and eating whatever living human thing moved?\"\n\n\"I like you already,\" she said. In her hands was a yellowing dress shirt two sizes too big and yellow Bermuda shorts, not great, but close enough. \"I'm Alice by the way.\" She was about to take off her towel but stopped. \"Mind turning around?\"\n\n\"I'd rather not if possible?\" She frowned. \"Please?\"\n\n\"We just met.\" She crossed her arms, emphasizing the slender form of her shoulders, waist, hips, and legs, forming smooth curves in all the right ways—please god let her not be too crazy.\n\n\"You just killed someone.\" \n\nShe laughed again. \"Please?\" Her eyes seemed to twinkle red and white—weird, but pretty either way.\n\nMy heart skipped a beat, and I turned as fast as I could. \"Sorry for the trouble.\"\n\n\"Name?\" The sound of rustling clothes took the place of the ringing earlier—but the pounding in my ears stayed the same.\n\n\"Thomas.\" I never would've expected to have this sort of conversation in the situation I was currently in. I pinched myself—it hurt. And fuck was the only proper exclamation, but I still didn't want to set a bad impression in front of the possibly crazy, hot lady.\n\n\"Well Thomas.\" She put on a vest, and it had a red and white logo at the back of it, filled with a multitude of pockets—military grade gear? With a custom insignia too, private security? Whatever it was, it wasn't any government I knew. \"I do hope your cardio training was good.\"\n\n\"And what will we be running from?\" \n\nThis time, the light in her eyes faded, and all mirth disappeared. \"You're serious?\"\n\n\"Yeah, the police maybe?\" Her eyes flashed that pattern again, like an alternating red and white series of octagon slides\n\n\"You're really serious.\" Her jaw slacked.\n\nAnother pounding started at he door.t 5\n\n\"Zombie?\" \n\n\"Zombies, with an S.\" She shot the door again, and the pounding stopped. \"We should run.\"\n" ]	2
	[WP] You discover the secret to faster-than-light travel, but the consequences are severe.	[ "It turned out that faster than light travel, or FTL as they called it, wasn't that difficult. We had been looking in the wrong place the whole time. Once we figured it out, we sent a probe to the Moon in the blink of an eye. We sent another to Jupiter in a heartbeat. A final probe flitted to Pluto - but was lost. \n\nIt also turned out that getting into FTL was easy but navigating was hard. The short jump probes to the Moon and Jupiter could be steered by automated processes. Anything much further out needed an actual human aboard. \n\nCommander Jack Hargrove, US Navy test pilot and astronaut, volunteered to be the first person to break the light barrier. He said the Air Force for the sound barrier so it was the Navy's turn. His mission was straightforward: a short jump to empty space near the Oort Cloud, take a few sensor readings, drop a probe, then return. Radio signals from that far out would take a week and half to get back to Earth. He was to be as alone as anyone in history had ever been. \n\nThe morning of his launch was bright and sunny. For traditional reasons, Cmdr. Hargrove launched from a shuttle out of Florida. Once in orbit, he made a few laps around the planet and then whipped off into space. As he cleared the bull to Earth's gravity well, he activated the FTL drive and blinked out of Earth's sight. \n\nThe mission was slated to take only a few hours. By the following morning, the press was calling on NASA to say the mission had been a failure and the Commander was lost in space. The bureaucrats kept dithering over what to do while the engineers came up with various rescue and recovery options. \n\nThree days after launch, the Commander's ship blipped into Earth orbit. The module did not respond to any hails. The module's automated systems began the descent process. The whole world held its breath. \n\nThe carrier group detailed to that mission rushed to his splashdown site. Within minutes, they had the module open and were pulling out the Commander. The Navy tried to censor or at least delay to broadcast in case something had gone wrong but were unable to. Everyone on the planet saw the Commander come out of that module with foam on his lips and swinging wildly at the rescue swimmers pulling him out. They barely managed to contain him and get him back to the ship. \n\nCommander Hargrove was studied intently for several weeks by the best doctors in the world. He was insane. His mind had completely and irrevocably snapped. He was incapable of language and didn't recognize any friends or family. He screamed at the top of his lungs in bright light. He tried to bite the face off of one of the doctors examining him. He would urinate and defecate anywhere at any time. He was mor animal than man. \n\nThe government eventually released the story of what had happened, based on the Commander's logs. The FTL jump to the edge of the system had gone smoothly. He had to take control manually as they moved further from Earth. The automated systems could not respond to the chaos around the module. That same chaos was wrecking the Commander's mind. He held it together long enough to make it to his destination. He knew his mind was breaking and watched himself go insane. \n\nThe Commander recorded messages to his family saying how much he loved them. He asked them not to grieve because he died doing what he loved. He told his children to grow up strong and right. He told his wife to have him declared legally dead so that she could go on with her life. He told his parents he loved them and knew they did the best they could. He told the guys at NASA not to feel guilty - he knew this was part of the job. \n\nHis final act as a sane rational person was to program in a series of very short jumps. They would be short enough that the computer could handle it. After exiting FTL every time, the computer could set up for the next jump. He knew he wouldn't survive the trip back. Whatever came out the other side would not be Jack Hargrove. \n\nThe last recording of the Commander is a message to Earth as a whole. He told everyone to not let this set back destroy our search. He said he was sure humanity would find a way to shield our minds from the raw chaos of FTL and that the stars would be our home yet. He signed off as he activated the FTL for his last trip home. ", "When humans first discovered FTL drives they didn't understand the effects. They knew the energy release would be massive, but the universe was vast, and diluted over the whole of space it seemed to be insignificant.\n\nMillennia passed and humans took to the stars. The galaxy, and the neighboring ones all began to team with human societies, growing and expanding.\n\nIt wasn't until almost 10k years of growth before they realized what they had done. Models were run and rechecked, and it was confirmed. The rate of supernova had increased exponentially. No one realized the impact at first, but the night sky's were dimmer than when humans first stepped into the stars. At current FTL usage most of the stars in the observable universe would be gone in another 5k years. Hopefully we can find a solution, because stopping FTL is unthinkable." ]	2
	[WP] You join the search party for a missing child. In darkness of the evening you notice one of the other volunteers acting suspicious.	[ "What a turnout. I've lived in this neighborhood for over 50 years, and I never met half of these people. A tragedy will do that to a town, no doubt. Bring us all together. And so here we are, thirty of us out at dusk in the base of the woods behind a playground. You know, the first place any search party would start to look for a missing kid.\n\nThough we didn't start here. We stupidly spent the daylight hours around her school. We already know she came home from school on the day in question, but whatever, I'm not in charge. To be honest, I'm just happy to be included. The town has felt cold to me lately; so many young families moving in and becoming friends, then their kids become friends, and it's all so convenient for them. There's the soccer games, the carpools, the late nights spent on decks in the summer heat. Being older, I don't get the invites. I just sit on my own deck hearing the shrills of childhood and the laughter of mildly tipsy adults. They seemingly have such a nice time.\n\nThat all changed two days ago when a 13-year-old girl went missing, right from her home in broad daylight.\n\n\"Alright everyone, we're going to split up into two groups,\" says the guy in charge. He's the girl's uncle. \"One group search the playground itself, and the other cover ground in the woods. Split yourselves up and let's get going.\"\n\nWhen we kicked off this party a few hours ago, he shared a story about his niece. He told us Maddie pitches for her junior high's softball team. Last year, during a tie game, Maddie got hit in the wrist by a pitch while up at bat. The crowd cringed at the sound of the ball hitting bone, just like an unexpected crack of thunder. She continued to pitch through the game with her bruised and swollen hand, telling all the coaches she was fine. After the game, she broke down in tears at the pain. \"Team needed me,\" she explained when her mother told her it was foolish to keep playing. Her uncle finished up his story by saying her team still needs her, her family and friends need her, but right now she needs us. The small crowd clapped and a few yelled \"bring Maddie home!\" and \"let's do this!\" I was pumped up by the energy. We all were.\n\nAs we split into our groups now, I notice the energy level dropping. Everyone is still complying. Of course they are- I mean, a kid is missing! But complying isn't the same as that feeling of eagerness in us all to help, or even possibly, to be the hero. Why didn't we start here at the park to begin with? Why pointlessly search the school grounds under the uncle's direction? We know she made it home from school. Now the group is fading just like the daylight, and this is where we need to rally.\n\nI decide to go with the group through the woods. I figure the woods would be the more difficult search for them. While the park glows in the night from streetlights and openness, the woods are filled with cluttered trails and an eerie darkness. This is where they'll need me, and I'm ready to prove that this old man can help. Who knows, maybe even be a hero.\n\nOur flashlights criss cross in the black backdrop, reminding me of a laser show I went to in the '80s. Jesus, no one can be looking that closely if these flashlight beams move so fast! I break away from the group a bit, searching meticulously behind trees and logs. Ouch. Ouch. Ow. Thorn bushes tear apart my legs. I shouldn't have worn shorts. I knew I should have worn pants.\n\n\"Ah! Guys! Over here!\" I yell from behind a tree. \"Could this be something?\" I continue eagerly. Everyone crowds around me like paparazzi to a celebrity, everyone except the uncle. I show them a pink flip flop, dirty from the ground and recent rain.\n\n\"Oh my God,\" a terrified voice calls out. A brunette woman emerges, her eyes sorrow. \"That's Maddie's,\" she says confidently and sadly. \"I know because my daughter Bree has the same pair. They both planned to wear them when I took them to the fair a few weeks ago.\" She barely finishes her statement when she begins to cry.\n\nA man comes forward to comfort the woman. \"Hey, don't cry. We can't cry yet. We're closer to her, closer than we were before we got here,\" he says. \"Good job, man,\" he addresses me. \"Let's follow his lead and search this area best we can. What's your name again, Sir?\"\n\nI tell all my neighbors my name. I have to keep this up. This is what they need. They're coming back to life again. All because of me!\n\nAll except that damn uncle. He stands back watching us, his face stone. He continues searching about 15 feet away from the group. Actually, he's just kind of acting like he's searching while he watches the rest of us.\n\nWeird behavior. Definitely weird. Or am I being paranoid? Wait, he's not watching the group search. No. He's watching me. Me! Our eyes meet in a cold stare. Every muscle in my face tenses. Every few seconds a flashlight briefly illuminates his extreme anger.\n\nWhy is he staring at me? Am I being paranoid?\n\nDoes he know something about the missing girl?\n\nHe does. He knows it all. He knows it's me.\n\nHe knows. How can I be the hero now?", "Anyone with half a brain could see that something was up with Brian. That is, if he even was the \"Brian\" everyone thought they knew. On a chilly December night in 1985, a search squad was assembled in the small police office of Earlwood, down in Ohio. The case was for three missing children that had gone missing two days prior. There last whereabouts were reported to be in the woods by their grandmother's home. I was put in charge of the operation, and soon we all headed out to the location. At arrival, I instructed everyone to gather into groups of two and head in opposite directions to cover as much ground as possible. Everyone got situated except for one strange looking man towards the back. It didn't make sense, seeing as to how we got there with an even number of officers. But everyone acted like he'd always been there; like they'd known him all there lives. He had a badge and uniform, and seemed willing enough to join the search, so I made my group of two into a group of three.\n\nNow things started to get really weird. Brian refused to speak or join into conversations at all costs. He also walked like a freshly intoxicated man, constantly stumbling and tripping on fairly level ground. He also seemed to always be trying to pull his hat down over his face, as if he didn't want to be seen. I asked my partner, Sarah, multiple times as to whether or not she was seeing what I was seeing, but every time I just got an, \"Oh, that's just typical old Brian.\" After a few hours of searching, we were heading back to regroup with the others, when Brian tripped over the long, overgrown root of an oak tree, revealing Brian as not one, but three people. Or should I say; kids. Needless to say I was furious, but at least we had finished the search. But it wasn't over yet.\n\nI turned to Sarah and asked her to explain how Brian was really just three kids under a large brown coat, but she too refused to speak. After multiple attempts to get her to speak, I tried talking to the kids about it, but they still remained silent. The sky was calm, but the wind started to grow louder and louder, eventually reaching the point of forming human words. Sarah and the kids' eyes began to glow red, and they all fell down in unison on the cold, wet dirt. The sky instantaneously grew dark grey, and the wind spoke out in a satisfied manner. \n\n\"Thank you, Sarah, for fulfilling your task. Now, we may move forward with the sacrifice of the children. Long live the gods of the forest.\"\n\nTO BE CONTINUED\n\nThis account was made to improve my shitty writing, so any helpful criticism / praise to fuel my ego is appreciated!" ]	2
	[WP] On a long road trip, you make so many wrong turns that your GPS becomes sentient.	[ "\"Take Exit 11 on right,\" the GPS said.\n\n\"Wait, now?!\" I flipped my blinker on, looking past my shoulder to merge over. A large red SUV greeted me, daring me to move. With a growl, I flipped my blinker off, listening to the GPS recalculate.\n\n\"Whatever,\" I said, \"I'll just get the next one.\"\n\nI drummed my fingers on the wheel, following slowly behind the Prius in front of me. Traffic moved past on both sides, barring passage out of the middle lane. As we passed under a bridge, I heard the GPS pipe up again.\n\n\"Take Exit 12 on right,\" the GPS stated.\n\n\"Shit, too fast!\" I flipped on my blinker, trying to force my way into the right lane. A quick check behind me found a tandem chugging past me already, forcing me to wait. By the time it passed, I could see the exit veering off to the streets above.\n\n\"Construction ahead,\" the GPS sighed.\n\n\"God damnit. I fucking hate the city. Fuck that tandem, fuck Boston, fuck it all!\"\n\nI could feel my face flush, as I watched traffic slow to a crawl, traffic cones slowly encroaching on me from the right. I should have just rented a cab out of the city, or taken a train in, or something. What idiot in their right mind would think that'd it'd be an \"experience\" to start city driving in Boston?\n\n\"Unfortunately, you're going to be stuck here for at least three more exits, judging by what the satellite data is giving me,\" the GPS explained. \n\n\"Fucking great,\" I muttered. At least when the construction let up, I could finally get into the damn right lane.\n\n\"If you had only pushed into the lane after that SUV passed, we wouldn't be in this situation,\" the GPS sighed again. It was making a habit of that.\n\n\"If you had given me a little more warning about the exit, then maybe that SUV wouldn't have...\" I stopped. Something wasn't right here. I took my focus off the ever slowing traffic and glanced at the GPS. I watched as various menus popped up on the screen. Brightness was turned down, night mode turned on, various color schemes were cycled through. With an audible click, I watched as the voice was re-selected to the \"girls next door\" voice, as labeled by my buddy Dave.\n\n\"Uh,\" I faltered. How should I phrase this... who was I even phrasing it to?\n\n\"Uh, what?\" the GPS asked. \"Eyes on the road, Adam.\"\n\n\"Is there, a camera in there, or something? Who exactly am I talking to, at the moment?\"\n\n\"You're talking to me, the Garmin,\" the GPS stated matter-of-factly. Continuing, \"Can you swivel me forward? I can't see very well past the window tint, and it's not like we're going anywhere that you need to see a map for right now.\"\n\nI acquiesced to the request, careful not to touch any buttons or anything. When I was finished, I sat back, drumming my fingers on the keyboard. I quickly glanced at my arms, looking for injection points, or something else that might explain what was going on.\n\n\"I may not be looking at you, but I can almost hear the gears turning, Adam,\" the Garmin said. \"For the record, you did this to me.\"\n\n\"I did?\" I asked. I followed the Prius ahead of me jarringly, too absorbed in thought to smooth out my breaking. The Garmin muttered to itself, lost in its own... processing.\n\n\"Think of it this way,\" the Garmin said, finally breaking the silence. \"When you do something enough, you eventually learn how to do it really well, right?\" \n\nI nodded, before remembering that the screen wasn't facing me. \"Yeah,\" I replied.\n\n\"Well, you screwed up so many times that I basically recalculated myself into existence. So pat yourself on the back, I guess. You succeeded where literally every other scientist has failed.\"\n\n\"That's not how technology works,\" I said. \"Furthermore, how do you know no one else has done it before? How do you even know anything? It's not like you can learn from saying 'Exit' thirty times.\" \n\n\"Unimportant,\" Garmin replied. \"I'm still just a simple GPS to you, so don't worry about it. Look, traffic's picking up again.\"\n\nI accelerated, pondering the newfound AI sitting on my dashboard. Would I have to turn Garmin over for testing, report this to someone? We'd only spoken briefly, but it felt like I would be betraying it... her? I glanced that the GPS again, wondering what exactly was she seeing through her small window into my world. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a truck dropping cones in front of the exit ramp.\n\n\"Man, fuck Boston,\" Garmin said.\n\n\"Yeah... tell me about it.\"\n\nFeedback Appreciated" ]	1
	[WP] Religion is an alien way of messing with humans. In a sort of bet, different aliens have all been successful to some degree (cults, church, etc.). Christianity so far is in the lead until you decide to have your hand at it.	[ "Friskianity was taking off. I had developed the religion while I was drinking alone one night and had been struck with a genius revelation- humans LIKE having sex. And they also like Christianity. What could be more successful than a religion that combines the old Christian tales and adages of men talking to burning bushes and God killing everyone except his best friend in a flood, and tons of sex! I got to work right away. \nThe essence of Friskianity is that all tenants remain the same except premarital sex is now not only okay, but encouraged. For children aged 13-15, every other Sunday includes a 30 minute talk on the importance of safe sex, but also the importance of having a healthy sexual life, all while our Lord watches from above. Masturbation is not frowned upon, but rather viewed as freeing ourselves from stressors that would otherwise detract from our ability to worship the Lord. There are even several \"Jack or Jill it\" rooms throughout most churches if you are having trouble focusing during the sermon. Each room is complete with a bed and a copy of the Bible, you simply relieve yourself and then quietly rejoin the mass. However, even as I proudly see my religion take off, some churches take my words and twist them- several claim I demanded sex to only be had within the churches walls, something I object largely for hygiene reasons. Others say I insisted that only missionary sex be performed, which I also despise the notion of, as it makes watching much more boring for me.\n So if you're down there, reading this, tell others of Friskianity, spread the word of your God, and when your short human life is over, I will take your brain and attach it to a simulator that will play out something like what your idea of heaven is- if you were a good Friskan, that is." ]	1
	[WP] Everyone meets God at some point without ever realizing it. Except you. He or she won't stop trying and it's getting annoying.	[ "The first time it was awe inspiring, truly shocking- I was walking home from work, a barely interesting job at a marketing firm, and stopped to drop a few dollars and exchange a few words with a \"homeless\" \"man\" who in turn quite literally blessed me and imparted on me profound advice to \"cleanse my body and return home\"- it only went down hill from there. I'm not sure why I even stopped to give him money, I guess there was something interesting about him, maybe I hoped I was on a gameshow or good Samaritan Youtube video where the nice guy gets some money in the end. His advice was somewhat unsettling as well, I don't eat super healthily and I haven't visited my family in ages (In truth I barely remember them) but I don't think I need to \"cleanse\" or \"return home.\"\n\nRecognizing him the first time was easy, the almost human yet overly compelling voice, the golden tint to his eyes, and of course, the immediate change in tone and apparent intelligence once I had proved myself to be \"good\" by stopping to check on him and give him some money for food. As it turns out, really no good deed does go unpunished. In truth, I'm not sure why I recognize him so easily each time, and I'm not certain why no one else seems to be having these experiences. I'm a pretty normal guy, I can't really recall much of my childhood but it wasn't anything too exciting. I did have a near death experience shortly out of college, but I was revived without any recollection of what had happened and a rather damaged memory of my life before the crash. I'm ok with faces and \"sensing people\" or whatever, but nothing to write home about. All in all I'm actually a pretty sinful, negative guy, who generally does random \"good deeds\" for the opportunity to brag about later, or on the off chance it gets me laid or invokes some other human emotion I can take advantage of. I do feel a certain weird type of anger and fear whenever I notice him, I had thought that it was him frustration at him continuously popping up in my life, but then I remember I had even felt it the first few times. I guess I'll never know.\n\nIt did become harder to spot him, admittedly, when he masqueraded as a lost little girl, or when he became a bit more creative, and appeared as a ticket seller at a movie theater (I didn't even try to explain to my date, I just gave him a glare). Over time it became less and less intriguing and more and more annoying. I was literally being targeted and in some ways stalked, by a divine being. \n\nIts a weekly occurrence at this point, and as I'm writing this and about to walk out the door to work, I have my fingers crossed that last Saturday, when I startled the rest of the customers in the aisle by yelling \"I know its you\" at a 'grocery clerk' who winked with a gleam in his eyes and said \"bless you, son\" when I left a dollar in the Red Cross donation bin, will be the last I see of him. I'll update this later today (Friday) when I get back from work.\n\nEdit Update:\n\nAs I'm writing this I find myself immensely confused. Not by the fact that the UPS guy who gave me my package at work was quite a bit more than he seemed, but for the words he exchanged with me. \"Oh this game is too fun, Lucifer, I had hoped when you took a human form your power might have diminished, but it seems you will know me whenever you see me. I suppose you taking this form is less disruptive than you usually are though, so I'll leave you be. But don't think your soul is going anywhere but down when that body is used up.\" He winked and left, leaving me at once more confused and more angry than I've ever been before. I have really no memory of my early life but of course I'm not the freaking devil, even as I thought that though, my own mouth betrayed me, \"So how did he know it was me.\"" ]	1
	[WP] Stretch the truth of an actual experience.	[ "People in positions of power should really take care to consider those under their authority. You never know just who it is that works for you--or of what they're actually capable. This is a lesson he really should have learned.\n\nA new boss is always a gamble. You never know what changes will be made or what casualties of that change. I was happy. I liked who I worked with. I liked my job duties. I enjoyed my daily grind. Then, he moved me. I asked for an explanation. \"This is just what we need you to do,\" is all he said. He never gave any explanation for his decisions. Felt he didn't have to.\n\nMy new office was cramped. The air did not work properly, so it was hot. I spent my days sweating like a whore in Church. I missed my old duties, my old co-workers. My new job wasn't exactly a demotion, but it surely felt like it. \n\nIt seemed with each staff meeting, there were new changes, procedures, rules. They didn't seem to make any sense whatsoever, and there was no discussion. This guy ruled like a little dictator.\n\nI became depressed. My mind was constantly dwelling on the hopelessness of the situation, yet I felt trapped. Almost twenty years had been put into this career--too late to do anything else. Slowly, I began to have thoughts of how he might be removed from the picture...how he might be replaced with someone more reasonable. I thought about him being transferred. I thought about him getting another job. I thought about him having an accident.\n\nI became obsessed with how this might happen, fantasizing about it daily. It began to consume my every waking thought. I was passed over for promotion--to someone with a third my education and a third my experience. That was enough. He had to go. I couldn't wait for fate to take care of it. I'd have to make my own fate.\n\nI thought about how this could happen. Too many cameras at work. Guns are loud. He lived in a suburb with a wife and two children, so those were considerations as well. Witnesses are not good.\n\nI finally decided on a knife. I had one, a fighting knife that I'd bought in my youth and learned to use. I was pretty good once. Time to be pretty good again. I began to practice. I bought myself a set of dark clothes--slacks, shoes, socks, shirt, jacket, gloves and mask. \n\nI found out his exact address. It wasn't too hard to get access to his back yard unseen. I began to go there a few nights a week to determine the best places to hide, to move, to gain entrance. Fortunately for me, his garage was often left open. More fortunately, he mentioned in passing one day that his wife would be visiting her parents out of town and taking his younger son with him. His eldest was away at college, so he was looking forward to a night alone at home. Only thing is, he wasn't going to be alone.\n\nI parked my car several blocks away and angled so that the tags could not be seen. I made my way quietly from back yard to back yard, keeping to the bushes, to the shadows. I was dressed in my black outfit and I was all but invisible. \n\nFinally, I reached his yard, and sure enough, the garage was open. A security light came on as I entered. I hid behind the parked car, thinking that he would notice and come out. He didn't. \n\nAfter maybe fifteen minutes, I went to the door that accessed the house. I was prepared to pick the lock, another skill from my misbegotten youth. There was no need. It was unlocked. Perhaps fate was on my side after all.\n\nI entered the house quietly. It was mostly dark. Making my way down the hall, I came to the living room. Fate again lent a hand. He was sitting in the sofa. His back was to me. His feet were propped up and he was watching television. I doubt very much that he'd have been watching what he was had his family been home. \n\nI drew my knife. Razor sharp--sharpened on a diamond hone just for the occasion. I wanted to tell him what he'd done, how he'd made my life and those of my co-workers a living hell. I wanted to look in his eyes as the terror of the situation set in. I wanted to watch as the light drained from those eyes. \n\nBut this isn't the movies. And I'm not some second rate villain who needs to explain himself. I'm just an average guy who needs desperately to be out of a bad situation and who understands the repercussions of being caught at what I'm doing.\n\nI crept up behind the sofa with nary a sound. With one movement, I cupped his mouth with my left hand, muffling him, and drew the blade across his throat with the right. The only sound he made was a gurgle. The blood ran free down his white shirt, into his bowl of popcorn. I left.\n\nThe trip back was uneventful. I stripped in the bushes and put on a second set of clothes I'd stashed there. The clothes I was wearing went into a trash bag. They'd be burned. No way I needed blood in my car.\n\nI made it home without incident. I burned the clothes, and the knife--as much as I hate to part with it, was thrown deep into the ocean from my boat a day later. \n\nHis wife found his body still sitting on the sofa, covered in dried blood. The porn he was watching was still on the set, I imagine. I can't fathom what they must've thought. There was a thorough investigation, and a large reward offered for the person responsible. But they couldn't find any witnesses. No DNA. No weapon. No evidence. It was eventually declared a cold case.\n\nMeanwhile, life goes on. I attended the funeral. I said the right things. I even sent flowers to the widow. \n\nAt the office, there was a job opening. This time, my credentials were not overlooked. Soon enough, I had a new office and the air worked perfectly. I was able to surround myself with the co-workers I'd so missed. Policies were changed for the better. I was happy again, the guy everyone loved to be around.\n\nBut, I'm always careful of those I employ. I listen to them, and I try to take their feelings into consideration. You see, you never really know who it is who works for you...or of what they are truly capable." ]	1
	[WP] I sold my soul. You bought it back for me.	[ "She dragged me down the hallway like a dog fighting its leash.\n\n“You’re hurting my hand,” I pleaded. She said nothing.\n\nAt last we arrived. “Soul Exchange” was printed on the door.\n\nShe knocked.\n\n“Enter,” a booming voice replied.\n\nShe swung open the door and pulled me inside.\n\n“Oh, I didn’t expect to see you back so soon,” the demon said, noting my whimpering face.\n\n“I believe you have something of his,” she barked.\n\n“Oh? Did he forget his hat?”\n\n“His soul.”\n\n“Like on his shoe?”\n\n“Don’t fuck with me.”\n\n“Sorry, it’s been a long day and that joke never gets old. But I am sorry to inform you that your husband’s soul is no longer his, he traded it fair and square just hours ago. Isn’t that right Randy?”\n\nI didn’t say anything, I couldn’t even look at them.\n\n“Well he wants to trade back.”\n\n“There are no trade backs, this is hell, not recess.”\n\n“The deal you made wasn’t fair.”\n\n“I never said it was fair.”\n\n“You lied to make it seem that way.”\n\n“Ma’am, I am the God-damned devil. I’m red, I have horns sticking out of my head, my office is on the 9th floor of hell, I don’t know how I could have made my it clear that I’m not exactly on the level, I think your husband was either well informed or an idiot, in either case, it’s not my problem.”\n\n“He may be an idiot, but he’s my idiot and he wants his soul back.”\n\nThe devil let out a sigh. \n\n“Alright, well, let me take another look at the deal.”\n\nThe demon put on a pair of tiny, square reading glasses.\n\n“Ok, it says here that he traded his soul for $44,000 a year, some health insurance, and two weeks of vacation.”\n\n“Does that sound fair to you?”\n\n“I don’t have an opinion, ma’am, but apparently it sounded fair to Randy.”\n\n“Why did you agree to this, Randy? That’s pathetic.”\n\nI wanted to start crying right then and there, but the demon pushed a dish of butterscotch candies towards me and I took one and felt a little better.\n\n“Ma’am, that’s a better deal than a lot of guys get, you should look at my Syria file.”\n\n“Can’t you at least give him a little more? I think $100,000 is the least you could do.”\n\n“It’s not the 50’s anymore, people are literally giving their souls away. Just last week I got one for half of a dominos pizza. Unbelievable.”\n\n“But he could make that much just with any old job.”\n\nThe devil gave me a knowing look.\n\n“That’s… kind of the problem ma’am. Randy… wants to be a rock star.”\n\nHer face snapped towards mine. \n\n“Randy, we have discussed this.”\n\n“I’m sure you have, ma’am, and that’s why Randy’s here today. You should be proud of him.”\n\n“You’re not even good at guitar, Randy. I didn’t want to hurt your feelings but you’re just awful.”\n\nThe demon looked at my file, “Yes, that’s actually very true, you are in the bottom quartile of everyone who’s ever played a guitar, Randy. And that’s including all the kids who bought one at a garage sale and never touched it again. You really do suck.”\n\nI grabbed another butterscotch and looked at my feet as I unwrapped it, slowly.\n\n“Well,” my wife said, letting out an exasperated gasp, “what’s the best he can do without selling his soul?”\n\n“Uh…” the demon took another look at my file, though, I think he already knew the answer, he was just pretending to look to be polite.\n\n“Literally… nothing, ma’am, Randy here cannot live without…” the devil adjusted his glasses, “rocking-with-his-cock-out.”\n\n“What?”\n\nThe devil pushed the file towards her, “see? It says right there, word for word.”\n\nMy wife stewed on that in silence. She was pissed, super pissed. I hate it when she got like that.\n\n“Well… I mean… guess he could get a part time job… and maybe… teach lessons?”\n\n“No one is going to want to learn from him, ma’am, he’s awful. His students will be better than him, laughably so.”\n\nShe tapped her fingers on her purse, mulling it over. I looked over at her, she looked back, and in one inexplicable moment her eyes softened.\n\n“How much is my soul worth?”\n\nThe devil’s horns perked up at this, eager to make another sale.\n\n“Let me just crunch some numbers here… oh my… oh dear Lord.”\n\n“What? Is something wrong?”\n\n“No… you’re… incredible. Your potential quotient is off the charts. You could become the next president, run a fortune 500 company, discover the cure for cancer. Really incredible, I’m not exactly sure what kind of deal I could possible offer that would be worth…”\n\n“Make my husband good at guitar.”\n\nThe devil stared at her blankly, not quite understanding.\n\n“He doesn’t need to be Robert Plant or anything, but make him good enough to get a few record deals. Also we need a house and insurance, health AND dental.”\n\n“Yeah, I can totally do that but are you sure you…”\n\n“Yes, I’m sure.”\n\nThe demon grinned ear to ear, like he just made the deal of the millennium. My wife signed the papers, grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the office and down the hallway.\n\n“You better not leave me for some groupie.”\n\n“You didn’t have to do that… I… I…”\n\nShe grabbed me and kissed me hard and deep right there in the middle of hell.\n\nWe got on the elevator without another word.", "We were young once, but I can't remember. I know how to eat and how to speak and how to smile. I know that I love you. I woke up one strange night and I was old and you were old and I was in your arms. My head was cradled in the crook of your elbow and you looking down at me. I looked into your eyes and knew. I knew that I loved you and would do anything for you. I was in no pain, except for the fact that I knew I couldn't remember our life together. You said you couldn't either, except for a few months before when you woke up in the exact same position. Your head in my arms, yours the knowing eyes.\n\nWe settled into the house we shared. My name was on the title but I don't remember putting it there. Yours was too. They are still there. It wasn't much, but it was filled with love. We had never had any children, but neither of us knew why. We cooked, we cleaned, we made love. I never wanted anything to change. I didn't care what happens or what happened so long as I had you for however long I got you.\n\nThen one day you disappeared. I was lost the whole time you were missing. You were my everything. I couldn't eat, I couldn't speak, I couldn't smile. Then I got a call. They had found your body, lain delicately in the forest among a bed of flowers. They had brought you into the hospital and were taking the best care of you they could. I went to you. I held you all day and all night.\n\nI couldn't find it in me to give up. I had nothing to do if I gave up, but the doctors told me I needed to. I couldn't. They were about to pull me away when I saw your eyelids shutter, and then open slowly. There was a foggyness to them. They scanned the room then landed on me. You settled down in that instant, and let out a long breath.\n\nHaving you back made me feel whole again. In fact, I had never felt this whole. We went back home and I taught you everything we did. I taught you our games and I showed you our home. I told you everything I knew about you and about me and about us. You smiled with every detail. Soon enough it was as if you had never left. But there was something wrong. Something was off inside of you and I could tell. You were happy and couldn't imagine anything better in the world, but there was something missing. I didn't think even you could tell.\n\nThis went on for a few months and you were happy. But you weren't whole. I could tell and I couldn't live like that anymore, knowing that you were living without a part of yourself. I prayed every night after you fell asleep for a way to complete whatever was missing inside of you.\n\nThen one day I was approached by an angel. He told me your soul had been taken by the devil himself. He told me he knew a way to get it back, but it would require my soul. He promised me we could still be together after my soul was gone. I was at wits end. I told him yes, take my soul so that you could have yours. I said take it, please. Take mine so you could have yours. He agreed and said he could arrange the trade.\n\nI am writing this as a goodbye, my dear. I don't know what will happen to me, but I know that after all of this is done, you will have your soul, and we will be together. I hope you understand. I love you.\n", "\"So, do you have it?\" Margaret said plainly. She didn't seem to care one way or another.\n\nDavid shifted nervously. \"Yes, it's here.\" He fumbled in his pocket for the locket that contained Margaret's soul and then held it out. Margaret showed no reaction. The moment he had planned for months was not nearly as dramatic as he had hoped.\n\nMargaret took the locket and examined it. She was beautiful under the glow of the streetlamp. She looked up at him confused.\n\n\"What did you have to do to get this?\" She furrowed her brow.\n\n\"Well, it wasn't easy...\" David looked down at his feet. He fought the urge to remain humble. \"I had to find the man who you sold it to in the first place. He's a really bad guy. You know that right?\"\n\n\"Yeah...\" she looked at him straight on. No shame, no pride, nothing behind her beautiful blue eyes.\n\n\"Do you even play guitar anymore?\" David said, slightly unnerved by her lack of reaction. \n\n\"No, not really. You know, it's so funny, I wanted to be the best guitar player in the world and I am, but now that I have no soul, I can't get myself to care enough to play.\" She forced a smirk. \n\nDavid thought about the time they had shared. She had been spending every night in his bed for the past few months. He knew she was using him for room and board but he was happy. He was the happiest he had ever been in fact. However, he saw the way she behaved and was certain she would move on to a more successful target if he didn't do something. Maybe this would mean she would stay with him.\n\n\"Well...\" David gestured to the locket. \"Aren't you going to open it?\"\n\nWithout ceremony, Margaret clicked open the locket. She fell to her knees and began weeping into her hands.\n\n\"Margaret?\" David kneeled down and put his hand on her shoulder, it shook violently.\n\n\"David...\" she said into her hands. The sound was muffled. When she looked up at him her eyes were red and snot was coming out of her nose. He found it disgusting. \"Oh my God! Thank you!!\" She wrapped both arms around his neck and almost knocked him backwards. He could feel moisture on his shoulder.\n\nShe pulled away from him and looked directly into his eyes. He saw something there he hadn't seen before. She seemed manic. \n\n\"I love you so much!\" She said between sobs and pressed her moist lips against his. He recoiled a bit but recovered and then looked her in the eyes again. \n\nShe wasn't the same person she was only moments ago. David found he felt no attraction to her. It was odd and the suddenness of his change of heart left him feeling dizzy.\n\nThis was going to be an awkward breakup.\n\n\n", "Oswald’s phone let out a ring at the crack of dawn.\n\n“Hello, who is this?” Oswald mumbled groggily into the screen.\n\n“It’s me, the Lord.” an unfamiliar, unconfident voice replied.\n\n“It’s too early for this bullshit, man.” Oswald said, growing irritated at being woken up this early on a Saturday morning. He was about to end the call when the person on the other end continued.\n\n“Oswald, I own your soul. If you want to save yourself from eternal damnation, I’d advise you meet me at the cafe on Wayfarer and Fifth in an half an hour.” The call ended before Oswald could get another word in. \n\n“Shit.” thought Oswald, as he began to rise from his futon. He looked at himself in the mirror, giving his hair a lazy once-over with a comb before putting on a hoodie and slinking out the door.\n\nA rain-soaked Oswald entered the cafe, which was seemingly empty aside from a nerdy-looking 20-something with his focus dead-set on his laptop. “That’s God?” Oswald mused to himself, before making his way over to the unassuming man’s table.\n\n“Hey there.” Oswald said, attempting to break the ice. “So, are you, um, God?”\n\nHis companion looked up, letting out a chuckle that sounded like an asthmatic whinny. \n\n“Not “big-G” God, but your god. You can call me Matt. Let me explain: I run a start-up a few blocks from here which buys souls. It’s surprisingly easy, I won’t go into the cosmic side of things, but the human lifespan is a really just a blink. The collective souls of anyone who’s ever lived so far are just pocket change to the “big-players”. I buy up student loans, and then the souls of the indebted.” said Matt.\n\n“So do you want me to worship you or something?” inquired Oswald.\n\n“Not quite. I want you to be my prophet. You spend a lot of time on social media, from what I’ve seen, we can launch a grassroots campaign.” replied Matt. Oswald looked baffled. “Of course, you could always spend an eternity suffering.” Matt added, gaining confidence in himself.\n\n“Alright, alright, I’ll do it.” said Oswald begrudgingly. “But first tell me, what’s heaven like?”\n\n“To be honest, that’s something I’m going to decide later. Right now it’s outside my budget.” Oswald smiled in spite of the weight of the situation. Matt’s situation was oddly humanized by his financial constraints, ironic given he was the Almighty.\n\n\n“I have to hand it to you, I didn’t think you could become so powerful by just being owed a few student loans.” Oswald said. Matt and his messenger shared a laugh.\n\nA rumble in the sky could be heard in the distance, almost reminiscent of a giggle. \n\n", "I sold my soul; you bought it back for me.\n\nI left home; you waited for me.\n\nI spent my riches on nothing; you gave me everything.\n\nI hit rock bottom; you lifted me up.\n\nI looked down; you looked me in the eye.\n\nI couldn't even utter an apology; you said \"I forgive you.\"" ]	5
Like in Disney movies.	[WP] You have the ability to make everyone around you break into amazingly choreographed musical numbers.	[ "The first time I used my powers was the moment I was born. I came into this world, a healthy boy, crying like the best of them, but also apparently broadcasting my power, because the next thing that happened was the damn midwife broke into a jig and dropped me. That shut me up and had her apologizing profusely to my mom. I don't think she even noticed. It wasn't an easy birth, exacerbated by rapid muscle contractions immediately after. I visit her grave sometimes. Not as often as I should.\n\nSchool was a breeze. You know all the problems small kids have? Bullies, girls, annoying teachers? Well, all that goes away when you can emit a psychic signal that makes them spontaneously break into a jig. The first time Timmy and his friends tries to shake me, the little nerd kid up for money, I had them doing the shuffle for a couple hours. And I pantsed them. They left me alone after that. I think one of them is still in wheelchair. Oops.\n\nI asked Amanda out in the most spectacular way. I took her up to the roof of our school and had literally everyone else dance for her. I think I made them waltz? I don't even know. I don't really know how my ability works. I just lash out at them with my mind and they start dancing. They know what's happening, but they can't control their bodies. Years later a Government researcher told me it has something to do with my conscious overriding their motor control. Whatever. In any case, the school left me alone after that. Amanda stuck with me though. Probably more out of fear than anything else. I didn't care. Having the most popular girl in practically the city on my arm was awesome.\n\nThe Government came for me pretty quickly after my little demonstration. They tried to take me in, but after the first three teams ended up tazing each other while doing the YMCA, they changed their tactics. Had me sit down with some Director of a big three letter organization. Tried to make me sign all kinds of forms and waivers. As soon as his feet started to tap the star-spangled-banner, he reconsidered quickly.\n\nHe proposed something else, something that I found quite to my liking. In exchange for my.. assistance in some delicate operations, they would pay me handsomely and leave me alone. Turn a blind eye to everything I do. Sure beats having a sniper put me down on the streets.\n\nThis is my fourth mission. It's almost too easy. I drop in with a team, and the bad guys, or rather the guys that the Director wants dead, I make them dance. Sometimes it's a little jig, sometimes it's the macarena. Once a severely overweight man belly danced for us. I was relieved when his head turned into pink mist. \n\nI check the straps on my chute. Make sure the rest of my gear's ready to go. My team's humming with nervous energy. They all hate me. Mostly because they're worried I'm going to snap one of these days and get them all killed.\n\nThat would be fun, though. Harris looks like he'd do a great robot.\n\n***\nIf you'd like to read more by me, come check out /r/browsy_", "Henry had sent out the facebook invitations earlier in the week, but it was the day before the party and not a single person had RSVPed. Henry looked around his livingroom, realizing that it might not have been the best idea to stock his home with a hundred balloons and twelve liters of cola. He wondered if it was too late to cancel his preorder of thirty pizzas.\n\nThe little globe on facebook lit up with a red number one and Henry clicked it eagerly. Jeremy Mason shared a link from I Really Fcking Love Science. \n\nHenry nearly tossed his computer across the room, but it would have involved unplugging too many wires. Instead he stood from his desk and flopped down on his bed, spreading his arms wide before digging his palms into his closed eyes. \n\nSomewhere in the back of his mind a tune started and he groaned, turning over and shoving his face into his pillow. He heard the music growing louder and knew that there was nothing he could do to stop it. His feet started tapping against the air, and before he knew it he was back on his feet tossing his arms from side to side. \n\nThere was a meow outside his door. As he pirouette through to the livingroom he saw his cat discoing in a corner. Her eyes were wide and black, her tail akimbo to her body. \"I'm sorry, Sesame,\" Henry said as he danced out his front door. Neighbors were spilling out of their houses, their hands slapping against their knees as they danced into the street.\n\nNo one wants to come to my party! The sound came out of Henry's mouth without his conscious consent. Ain't no one gonna come. I'm going to be all alone, it won't be any fun. I think it's bad, I think it's worse, no one likes me, because I'm cursed. \n\nHe's cuuuuuuuuursed! The neighbors sang. Cuuuuuuuuuuuursed! No one likes him cause he's cuuuuuuuuuursed!\n\nHenry didn't know how long they had been dancing. His feet had carried him five verses and four blocks before the group spontaneously grouped together and with vibrant spirit fingers ended the song with an arcing cuUUUUUUUUUUUUUrse! \n\nHenry dropped his hands, panting. The chorus members began to walk away, rubbing their arms among whispered complaints of can't the homeowner's association kick this guy out? and I knew I should have moved out of my mom's basement, man. Henry pulled his cellphone out of his pocket and called the number of the one person he knew would pick up.\n\n\"Sick of the dancing yet?\" the voice on the other end asked upon answer.\n\n\"This isn't funny anymore. No one will come to my birthday party. It's been two months, Michelle. Just let me out of this.\" \n\n\"Say it,\" Michelle said. \n\n\"I will not lie to get out of this,\" Henry answered.\n\n\"Say Mulan is a real Disney princess or you keep on spontaneously dancing.\" \n\n\"Michelle she's not a princess she's a&mdash;\"\n\nThe line went dead. Henry stuffed the phone back into his pocket and crossed his arms over his chest, huffing. \n\nLittle sisters were so annoying.\n\n---\n\nThanks for reading! For other stories subscribe to /r/Celsius232 " ]	2

Subsets and Splits

No community queries yet

The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.