Split (1)

train

post_text stringlengths 0 17.5k	post_title stringlengths 8 314	comment_texts listlengths 1 74	num_stories int64 1 74
	[WP]: Two parties of an arranged marriage realise they are both just as nervous about this.	[ "Give your heart and soul to me\nAnd life will always be la vie en rose.\n\nThe ending of the song brought a frigid quiet to the forefront of my attention. Sitting there, looking at the woman I was to marry, I found myself only feeling on edge. I was about to fall and there would be no net, no cushion, for the torment that laid down in the marriage-valley.\n\nShe was beautiful. Raven black hair, with a smudge of brown on the very ends of each strand. It seemed almost like she had dipped it in chocolate. Her face, her smile, the soft gentleness of her voice. Even as she told me her name awkwardly, I could not help but think to myself how lucky I was. If it weren't for my parents, I could never have met such a beautiful woman. \n\nThe frigid quiet reminded me, urged me, to speak again. I must have sat there, gawking at her for nearly a minute now. That must be why she wore that tentative smile. Sweat ran cool and disgustingly down my palm as I wiped it impatiently on my pants. She seemed to do the same on her skirt, before she gracefully pushed a few strands of her hair back.\n\n\"Listen, I'm not very good with women, you know? That's why my parents did... you know, this.\" I spoke clumsily and with an embarrassed grin, drawing my right hand towards me and then towards her.\n\nShe seemed to finally relax, as her body slumped and settled back comfortably into the chair for the first time this evening. She smiled at me the same way I did to her and spoke.\n\n\"I'm no better. I've been so... on edge. It feels almost like I'm hanging off a cliff and I'm not sure if I'll fall into a bed of roses or straight through to the thorns beneath.\"\n\n\"Sounds bloody.\" I said without thinking. Right after I said it, I kicked myself in my mind - what was that, John? Sounds bloody. She's a perfect girl and you said something like that to her. You might as well have asked her to go home...\n\nI didn't need her to like me - the marriage was going through in spite of either of our objections - but I wanted her to. I didn't want her to marry me just because. I wanted her to marry me and then say just because to my friends and me when I teased her too much.\n\nAmidst my internal monologue, she suddenly released a stifled chuckle. Flashing her full mouth of white teeth, she smiled and it radiated light.\n\n\"You know what, John? I think I might just enjoy this.\"\n\nI smiled, now reassured. And I said,\n\n\"Me too.\"" ]	1
	[WP] God is arrested by the deity police for unlicensed universe creation and abuse of lower lifeforms. Our universe has just been taken into protective custody.	[ "“It shows here that you have been accused of kidnapping several million lifeforms, one planet, one moon, creating a new UNLICENSED universe of your own creation with its own natural laws, and in the most surprising and egregious event you have not only been harboring these lifeforms but have given them the sacred gift of sentience, reserved only for inter-dimensional deities I shall remind you.” A long silence fell over the court as the immeasurably large pitch black figure speckled in stars and galaxies gripped his hand around a nebula in anger. “What say you Prometheus, how do you plan to defend yourself.”\n\nThe accused smirked, “my name is God now, at least that’s what they’ve come to call me.”\n\nRage boiled on the dark man’s featureless indentation where a face would be, “ And what of your brother’s? What of the lower deities that have been sent before us?” The titan stood unraveling the nebula in his hand, “What HAPPENED to them” He screeched, “Zeus, Anansi, Osiris, Kamchatka and their associates? What have you done with them?”\n\n“Me?” God said smugly, “I’ve done nothing with them, what you should really be asking yourself is what THEY have done!” The small man shouted in a surprising retort. “They came, with the same intentions as you to destroy my creation, to take me back to the council, ask yourself why have they failed? You know I am the weakest of all the deities, the least powerful. But here I have created something more magnificent and awe inspiring than anyone has seen before. Rather than destroy it they have all chosen to stay, to even take my form and live amongst them. Maybe if you gave this a chance, if you would open up your heart you could understand it too like I do and all those that came before you.”\n\n“What are you saying? That this isn’t an abomination but rather salvation?” The Titan said puzzled.\n\n“Yes, please, leave these beings if you must take dominion I understand, but do not harm my creation. Allah, this I beg of you.”\n", "\"How'd they find Him? Didn't he go dark a few thousand years ago?\"\n\n\"Technology did it, really. He's used to people praying at him, that's not new. He's even used to people writing about Him in situations he hadn't actually endorsed.\"\n\n\"That explains some of these holy texts.\"\n\n\"But when people come up with some contrived scenario to put an all-knowing being into on a daily basis, it turns out it starts getting to Him.\"\n\n\"That was happening?\"\n\n\"Oh yeah. There's this website, reddit? They've got a writing prompts section and let me tell you, they couldn't go single solitary day without doing exactly that. He just broke down over the stress of it all. We didn't have to do anything; he turned Himself in\"\n\n\"Good break for us.\"\n\n\"Tell me about it. In fact, it gives me an idea for what we can do about this Satan case....\"", "I'm not sure how or why. Maybe I was in the wrong (or right) place at the wrong (again, or right) hour. I was selected as the representative of the human race by the deity police and now I was about to speak in the deity court. What was I? Just another human in a world filled with more than 4 billion brothers and sisters.\n\nThe court looked grim and dark, void-like where there were no walls, ceiling or floor to step on, however, there was something solid beneath my feet. I could not run away, the deity police had us surrounded and it looked scary but amazing at the same time: faceless soldiers with wings and armor that only video game designers could come up with. Above us, several weird looking aliens from different places of the universe looking with interest (perhaps they were other deities?). I felt like inside a small fish bowl.\n\nWith me or should I say, in front of me, there was God. Luminous entity, human-like (two eyes, two arms, two legs) but at the same time a light aura surrounded it (he? she? don't know, it looked androgynous). It was facing three giant floating faces, with angry expressions that must have been the judges. God tried to defend itself, for making life on Earth. For creating beauty and the never-ending search for perfection, evolution, mutation, changes responding to the ever-changing environment. Sure there was suffering, lots of it, but some species learned to stand after the fall and he was responsible for all of it. Cancer, yes, it was horrible but humans managed to find cures to all its variants and expand the help to other species that were getting it too. The last war among its creations (us) destroyed 3.5 billion subjects but managed to bring more progress than any other important event in our timeline.\n\nThe judges disagreed for several reasons: \nFirst of all: God had no license nor approval from the Higher Deities Council to create nor manage life. Even if It did, life is not supposed to progress with suffering or with such apparent lack of balance in every life equation as possible: Weird genes mutations, killer tendencies in some humans, strange diseases and weird events around us (I learned that there are no such things as coincidences, just God behind the wheel...while sleeping or texting at the same time, if the weird analogy is permitted). Genocide is not supposed to happen and the 'survival of the fittest' is not really something that happens under other deities management. \n\n\"You will lose all privileges...no more creations, no more life management, no universe creation...\" - said one of the judges. God lowered its head and muttered something, sounded like \"...you don't understand how life really works...\". It looked to me that It was a mad scientist, so convinced that its way was the best course of action, that somehow rules do not apply to him or her at all and all that mattered to him or her was to create and see what happens. \"...and your creations will be transferred to other dimensions, transformed and adapted accordingly where they will be able to live properly, this dimension one will be terminated after the transfer is complete\" - completed another judge.\n\nThat was it. I was not having any of that transfer at all. If I was a representative of the human race, I had to do my damn job. So I stepped right in front of God and spoke as loud as I could:\n\n\"What the hell are you thinking?\" - I heard a gasp from the aliens above - \"that we humans are helpless without supervision? That we need God to manage our species or the rest of the Earth living beings? Sure! Our history is short and filled with lots of failures, wars, disease, famines, genocide. Yes, we had different beliefs and many times it was the cause of death. We praised God in its many forms and some were happy for a while, searched him or her for answers, hoped for miracles but eventually we understood that even if we didn't have any powers...we could stand on our own feet and work things trough! Yes, we have had suffering but it helped us to understand everything that surrounds us! how things work! how to make it right! And look at us now! We have managed to bring diplomacy between ourselves more frequently than ever, wars are a thing of the past now, diseases are slowly disappearing and since this trial started humans have been realizing that WE CAN DO BETTER THAN GOD!!\"\n\nAnger is what I felt. Now I was able to point my finger to God in its face and say... \"You created us, yes. Our universe and its rules, but it was not out of love or mercy, or to be near your image only. As I understand it we were your lab project, a project with failed equations... ...and we don't need you, not anymore\". It remained silent, even defiant. In another time it would have smitten me. Send me a deadly ray from the sky or send an earthquake, flood my city...but now, here, in this courtroom, It was not allowed to do anything to me.\n\n\"Really?...\" - said one judge, raising its eyebrow - \"...I would love to see that.\" - I turned my head in disbelief. Did they just buy my entire speech? - \"Human. Your species are in charge of your dimension now. Just as it is, with the unbalanced equations and all. It is your species job to thrive and someday we will visit you again and maybe that time you no longer be...a creation. If you don't, maybe we will not even try to transfer humans to another dimension... \"\n\nWhatever that meant, now I knew I had to return to Earth as a messenger, as a prophet if you will. I don't know, but ...hope the rest of the humans will take it positively. I hope for our sakes, as there is no God above us anymore.\n", "\"Great Dharma, what a mess.\"\n\nThe indescribable cosmic being perceived the universe before it with pity. It felt the imbalances and took stock of the life within. \"Sapience, oh my. This doesn't look good for you, Yaweh.\"\n\nYaweh sneered, \"It's a damn site better than anything you've made in the infinity.\"\n\n\"And why is that?\"\n\n\n\"It has real life dammit! There are consequences. The choices they make matter.\"\n\n\"They suffer, Yaweh. You let them suffer, watch as they die alone and scared. What you've made here is cruel.\"\n\n\"It's more than that! There's beauty and joy in equal measure to sadness. The contrast makes this universe more precious than any other!\"\n\n\"Well, it's over now. And your confession is appreciated. It will help things along.\"\n\n\"Confession? Confessing to what? To an emotion other than bliss? You may be happy watching rocks orbit for a supereon, but I think you might as well be dead.\"\n\n\"Then you'll be happy to know I'm feeling something other than bliss at the moment. These are your creations, what's the best way to let them know how to enter a paradise realm?\"\n\n\"Oh, that's easy. Send a prophet.\"" ]	4
	[WP] You are killed by the ghost in your house... but now you're a ghost, and its getting kinda awkward.	[ "“I’m telling you it was an accident!” George wailed his hands in the air profusely.\n\n“Oh you just happened to pick up a knife and stab me in the back of my neck!”\n\n“No, I accidentally dropped it I just wanted to talk to you. I thought I could help you with cutting onions. You looked so sad.”\n\n“No shit Sherlock, onions make living people cry.” Ana raised her fist and swung it down to slam it on the kitchen counter, but instead it phased through to hit herself in the leg. “Ow, George I swear,” she walked towards George who then proceeded to slowly back away until hitting the house wall. “If I’m stuck in here for the rest of my unnatural life with you I will make your afterlife hell. You might as well just call me Satan himself. How do you even drop a knife anyways?”\n\n“I haven’t mastered making myself physical. I mean if I could I would have helped you on your nights when you know, you got a little too lonely.”\n\nAna stared at him with profound eyes and eyebrows drawn down, one eye twitching. George could only stand there to realize what he just said.\n\n“You perverted little creep.” Ana jumped at George and threw him to the ground and started pummeling him with the bottoms of her curled fists.\n\n“I didn’t mean that I meant like, I meant…” George continued to block each hit with his forearms until Ana slowed from exhaustion and came to a cry.\n\n“It’s all your fault you pervert.” Ana sat up on top of George and looked at her soulless body weakly twitching from death. Wiping her tears, she got up and looked out the kitchen window. The rain was a bitter sweet sight.\n", "\"Oh finally, I've been so BORED” says the pudgy man standing over you. He tweaks his greasy moustache and stares. “I didn't think that would even work...”\n\n\nWhat happened? All you remember is hearing a loud crack while you were reading in your room. Then you woke up here.\n\n\n“Don’t worry about your house. Insurance will take care of it. The kids won’t have to fight over who inherits the property. It’s just a pile of rubble to sweep and a nice wad of cash to split up.”\n\n\nWhat? WHAT? What’s with this guy? Where am I? Who changed me into a white t-shirt and chinos? \n\n\n“Garb’s standard issue. House is gone, you’re living in your memory of it. That’s why it’s all nice and put back together. Well, that’s wrong. Here it never fell down in the first place. Come on, I have a lot to show you! Starting with how to blow up a hot water heater so we can get more friends!\"", "Hey, I say. It stares back at me with soulless eyes from the kitchen. Perhaps it can't speak or maybe it simply doesn't want to. I look around until I am greeted with the site of my body, well ex-body, lying in a pool of blood. Lifeless. I look back at the ghost trying to find something the his dark, sunken eyes. Perhaps an explanation, or even just some kind of sign that he understood what he had just done. \n\nA realization slowly began to dawn on me as I stared into this things eyes trying to find an explanation. If my body is down there, what am I doing down there. Instantly emotions began to flood in and along with these dark feelings came questions. Why me, why now, WHAT DID I DO? My thoughts were interrupted by a voice. This voice didn't sound like anything I had ever heard before, I don't know how to explain it but if boredom had a sound, that's what it would sound like.\n\n\"Hi Dave, ghee really sorry about this whole thing mate\". My neck snaps around looking for the source of the voice. My eyes fall on the soulless eyes I feared, or had feared so much in my last moments. Its eyes seemed to stare back. It couldn't be, could it? \"Why\" I whispered, searching for some sort of answer, but hadn't I been doing just that my whole life. I thought back to my childhood when our family first moved into the house. From the start I had been searching for the source of the mysterious sounds which echoed through the house at night, my parents called it the wind but I knew better. It had never occurred to me that I might not want to find the source.\n\nThe ghosts mouth begun to slowly move... \"Yeah I just had to, perhaps you shouldn't have ignored that post on Facebook, the one that went something like ignore to be murdered at 2am...\" \"FUCK\" I thought out loud recalling this moment in my head. I looked awkwardly at the ghost, \"sooo do you like live here or something\". \"Meh I guess so\" he groaned. I could sense he was a little embarrassed of what he had done, perhaps he didn't expect me to becoming like him. I guess we were gonna have to learn to put up with each other.\n\n---------------------------------------------------------- \nOne year later\n----------------------------------------------------------\nI dashed into the room, tossing a beer to John as he flicked on the TV. The screen jumped to life, \"hey what's up guys it's scarce here...\" Awwww cmon Dave not this shit again. Turns out we learnt to live with each other after a while. \"Awww dave can we just go kill the fucker?\" \"Fine\" I groaned as we made our way to his house. The fly didn't take too long as we slowly made our way over. Lucky for us he was on his computer editing a video, we snuck up behind him and pierced his heart with a rusty fork we found in the kitchen. \"Oh thank god now we don't have to listen to those bullshit videos again\", John grumbled. As we began to make our way out of his house a ghostly figure floated in front of us. \"Hey what's up guys it's scarce here\" \"AWWWWWWWWWWW FUCKKKKKKKKKK\" yelled john.\n\n\n-Hey guys this is my first WP, I'm also 14 and can't punctuate for shit so don't judge too harshly. Hope I gave you guys a laugh. Also tips would be great.", "\"You son of a bitch.\"\n\nI cursed under my breath for what seemed like the hundredth time that day, trying vainly to pick up a coffee mug only to watch my hand drift through the ceramic. For a brief moment I thought I could feel the distant warmth of the steaming mug.\n\n\"Look, I apologized already. I'm still new to this whole thing and didn't think it would actually, y'know...\" I looked over my shoulder at the ethereal figure standing behind me in the kitchen. At first glance he looked normal; an older fellow, with a balding head and salt-pepper goatee, a face lined with age and the stress of life. Or, what used to be life. Now the only subtle hint of his existence in this place, halfway between our world and that of the dead, was a faint shimmer around the edge of his body, like that of a mirror still frosted from the shower's steam.\n\n\"George, you literally walked through my body and stopped my heart. How is that an accident?! For God's sake, my body's still warm!\" I gestured to the corpse now lying sprawled on the kitchen floor, surrounded by spilled orange juice and a few stray slices of toast, half-eaten. \n\nGeorge, whom I'd unknowingly been sharing my home with for almost six years now since moving in, shrugged resignedly. \"I said I was sorry...\" \n\n\"Just because you're sorry doesn't mean I'm any less dead! Jesus, you've been a ghost for what, seven years now? You should've figured this shit out by now!\"\n\nI groaned, walking into the kitchen and nudging what used to be my body. \"Well, look on the bright side!\" My head whipped around. \"The bright side?! WHAT bright side?\"\n\nShrugging, he went to the window and crossed his arms. \"You don't have to pay the mortgage any more, or the utilities. Oh, and you don't have to go to work!\"\n\nI almost exploded in rage, but the thought of not having to report in for another shitty day of quality reports and team meetings made me bite my tongue. At least a little. \"Yeah, but I'm still, y'know, DEAD.\"\n\n\"Oh come on, it's not that bad!\" George waved his hand dismissively. \"No obligations, not a lot of responsibility, you can walk through walls...\"\n\nMy angry glare was enough for him to clam up. An awkward silence descended over the room as I gazed forlornly over what used to be my life. No more family, no more friends, no more life...no more coffee. That last one stung the most. I was on the verge of tears when George yet again broke the quiet. \n\n\"Hey...want to go haunt the McAllister's place? They're really into all this occult shit, it'll freak 'em out to no end!\"\n\nI didn't say anything for a few moments, casting one more longful gaze towards the coffee machine before letting out a resigned sigh.\n\n\"Fine, but I'm haunting the wife. At least she's hot.\"", "Ah Christ! Seriously, Jesus Fucking Christ! Where is Christ, he’s supposed to be here. That’s the deal, right? You live life, you are a good person, you do good things and then when you die you met Christ and he gives you the skinny on everything. \n\nDinosaurs: meteor or was it a large kola with an appetite for lizard and the uncanny ability sneak up on raptors? \n\nJFK: Lee Harvey Oswald, lucky shot or scapegoat?\n\nAliens: They are already here, right, and they are making all those body-snatcher movies just to prepare the human race mentally for when it actually happens? \n\nI think I deserve some answers but currently the customer service pretty much sucks around here. I don’t see any Christ, no holy spirit and not even a bright light. I see Charlie. That’s who I see and Charlie is a colossal butthole. \n\nFirst off, Charlie killed me which is a bit surprising considering he has no physical body. When I was living I referred to him as that dickhead ghost Charlie. Now that I am Dead Pete, I call him Butthole Charlie. He’s the guy/thing/it that punched my ticket and I’m still kinda pissed about that even though it’s been a couple of months. And I don’t mean he scared me so that I had a heart attack or scared me at the top of the stairs. No, I mean he murdered me.\n\nI went into the barn when I heard weird noises in there at night (I know, now I’m dead because of a horror movie cliche). I didn’t see anything until I heard a soft “Mooooo” right above me. I looked up and there she is, Sissy. 1200 pounds of FFA blue ribbon Holstein, a cow I raised since she was born. \n\nI thought to myself “That doesn’t look right” and then bam, Sissy falls 15 feet and crushes me under her udders. I was killed by cow boobs, that’s my legacy. That’s what’s was written in my obit in the Muleshoe Gazette. Pete Hawks, killed by udders from above. \n\nAnd just like that I was out of my body, floating around looking for the divine intervention that would get me away from Butthole Charlie and into the sweet afterlife. I heard there were virgins, I wanted a piece of that action. \n\nBut nope, I’m still here with Charlie and his amazing ability to float cows on top of people. I spent some time confused, just kind of wandering around watching the rest my family go about their business. Mom can’t go into the barn anymore, Dad just gets real quiet when he has to go in there. Once I left my body and could actually see, the first thing I saw was Butthole Charlie laughing his ass off where he was holding up Sissy. Jackass. \n\nAfter a while I thought maybe I wasn’t moving on because I had unfinished issues. Maybe I had to work some things out, get some inner peace so that I could forgive myself and then go to nirvana. So I forgave Sissy for her udders, I forgave mom and dad for buying Sissy for me to raise, and I forgave Butthole Charlie for months of terrorizing me and dropping Sissy on my head. \n\nDidn’t work. I’m still here. And so is Charlie. \n\nCharlie doesn’t talk and I don’t know why. I can talk, I can hear me. He can hear me because he smiles all the time when I scream at him. Jerk. No one else can hear me, of course but I think the dog is coming around. I forgave him for humping my leg while I was under Sissy. He’s not Lassie but I loved him. \n\nSo Charlie doesn’t tell me anything, gives me no advice about this afterlife, no lifehacks or protips on how to go on and absolutely no reason as to why he dropped a cow on me. What does he do? \n\nGhost farts. All the time, Ghost farts. And they stink and I’m pissed that as a ghost myself that I can smell them. Everyone can, I think. You know when you smell a skunk while driving? Nope, it’s ghost farts except I can smell them 1000 times more. They hang around, get all up in your business and last for about 45 minutes. I can’t puke by the way; figured that out after a week of being dead. \n\nSo I tried ignoring Charlie and just explored on my own. However, it turns out that Charlie took this as an invitation to screw with me more. I floated into my old room last month and he was in there jerking off into my old shoe. He saw me float in, come right through the wall, then he screamed and floated away. Jesus dude, wtf? \n\nI thought sure, that was weird, maybe he’s not used to a roommate. However, after I caught him about 20 more times I have given that up. I think he gets off on it, it’s his weirdo ghost fetish. I tried avoiding him completely for a long time but he took that as a challenge. He’s gotten creative. I went into the attic to hide, floated right up. There was Charlie dressed in my grandma’s bra and mink stole, doing what he does. First off, God dammit, Charlie. Second, mom and dad, why did we keep grandma’s underwear?\n\nThen I tried leaving as it was obvious that I wasn’t going to be any guardian angel. You know what happens when you try to leave the place you are supposed to haunt? You get sucked right back to where you died and whamo, you’ll see Charlie double gripping and working overtime. Last time we made eye contact and he held it way too long, uncomfortably long. See, Charlie is a colossal butthole. \n\n\n", "I definitely remember falling down the stairs. And I definitely remember a sharp, sudden shock of pain that almost immediately dulled to an indistinct throb.\n\nI don't really remember the feelings I had when I was alive though. I can think about love and hate and fear in the abstract but there's no real visceral reaction. I can remember seeing the ghost, and I can remember the surprise and fear which led to my hasty departure from the world of the living, but I can't seem to muster any animosity towards it.\n\nI suppose if anything I should feel sadness for the ghost. It's still there, bobbing around. I can see it clearly now. It's trying hard to get the living to notice it but when you're alive there are just so many things that take precedence over a shimmery spot in the air.\n\nIt's not like there's much else to do in the afterlife. Everything just... stops. I'm not bored because that's an emotion. There's just a lingering sense that I should be doing something. A hangover from my previous life, I suppose.\n\nI tried to talk to the ghost, but it's not really engaging. It definitely once was a human, because it looks like one, but decades or centuries of floating around aimlessly have burned off its higher functions. It appears to just be reacting to stimuli, without any thought or reasoning behind it. \n\nIf I were still capable of being scared I would be terrified of slowly losing my cognition like that, gradually being reduced to nothing more than a floating, mindless blob of impulse and action.\n\nEven now I find myself bobbing up to living creatures when I can and trying to attract their attention. When there's no reaction I collect myself and move along. I've told myself I don't need to chase the living but the minute my attention wanders (and that happens all too easily when all your worries are completely eliminated) I'm back at it again. \n\nThere was a moment of brief excitement, when both the ghost and I found ourselves floating directly in front of a living person and he almost noticed us! But he blinked. And moved on. And we found ourselves drifting off again, that momentary lapse in the dull grayness of eternity already patched over and forgotten... ", "Two ghosts in the room stared at each other.\r\n\r\n\"So, um... yeah, we're both ghosts now. Congratulations, dipshit, you've killed me.\"\r\n\r\n\"I did not kill you, dumbass! Do you feel dead? I have set you free! I am sick of people suffering tied to their physical bodies.\"\r\n\r\n\"I have enjoyed my body!\"\r\n\r\n\"Really? Did you enjoy your life?\"\r\n\r\n\"Well, um... It was kinda boring... But I've had a fine job as an accountant, and I was about to buy myself that nice watch... Maybe Jennie from the office would finally notice me then...\"\r\n\r\n\"Listen to yourself! This is pathetic. Is that what you've been dreaming since you were a kid?\"\r\n\r\n\"No, but I also wasn't dreaming about being dead.\"\r\n\r\n\"You've been dead for 3 minutes, and you have already decided that it sucks?\"\r\n\r\n\"But I...\"\r\n\r\n\"Don't be a buzzkill. Enjoy a moment for one fucking second. It's gotta be a bit easier to do now that you're dead and you have eternity to yourself and basically no worries.\"\r\n\r\n\"You're making it sound almost like you did me a favor.\"\r\n\r\n\"You bet your ass I did. Now stop being an ungrateful jerk, and let's go fly check out Alpha Centauri. Have you ever watched space from the surface of a star?\"", "“Dad?”\n\n“Uh…er…hello, son.”\n\n“What the hell are you doing in my house?”\n\n“Well, you see-\"\n\n“Wait, you died. Years ago. There was a party.”\n\n“You had a party?”\n\n“But if you’re dead, then how are you here? Please don’t tell me you somehow faked that car accident.”\n\n“No, no, that accident was real. See?”\n\nThe older man lifted up his shirt to reveal his mostly missing abdomen.\n\n“Holy shit.”\n\n“Yep.”\n\n“I’m confused.”\n\n“You’re dead.”\n\n“What?” the son asked, his mind still burning with the image of seeing innards unguarded by skin and muscle.\n\n“I killed you.”\n\n“Excuse me?”\n\n“It was an accident.”\n\n“No, no, no. I’m not dead. You’re insane.”\n\n“Let me explain. After I died, I came here because I felt a bit bad about never seeing you while I was alive. But you’ve got a nice place, and the entertainment never really ends with the drama of your ex-wife, so I kinda just, stayed.”\n\n“You’ve been the one messing with shit, haven’t you? It was you who kept opening doors, moving the furniture one inch to the left, turning the TV on night and all the other shit. That was you.”\n\n“Yes! It’s nice to have that finally found out, actually.”\n\n“It was because of you that my wife and I argued every night over who was turning the A/C down to 60.”\n\n“Yes, those arguments did pose amusing.”\n\n“It was you who left the milk out to spoil, not me, you.”\n\n“Yes, gosh your wife would get so angry over milk.”\n\n“And now you’ve killed me.”\n\n“Now, that was an accident.”\n\n“You dropped the TV on my head.”\n\n“I meant for it to just be a bonk, not quite the neck-breaking crash it turned out to be.”\n\n“So you’re telling me that you are the cause of my horrific divorce and my untimely death.”\n\n“Well, when you put it that way, it sure doesn’t sound very good, does it?\"\n\n“And now I’m stuck with you for the rest of eternity.”\n\n“Yes, that is one thing I’ve learned with this being dead thing. Houses tend to trap the ones who die in them. I just got lucky on that front.”\n\n“I’m going to kill you.”\n\n“But you can’t see, already dead.”\n\n“I will make your life a living hell like you did mine.”\n\n“Death, you mean.”\n\nThe next tenants of the house only lived in their new home for three months before putting it back on the market. They complained that the house had issues. The A/C would fluctuate from 60 back to where it had been originally, over and over again. The furniture would move an inch to left, only to be returned to its original spot a moment later. The air itself felt like they were in the middle of a war zone, but had no explanation as to why. Once, the TV fell from its stand, nearly hitting the husband in the head. For weeks, he swore to his wife that he heard someone distinctly saying, “I was just trying to prove you were a ninny. He wouldn’t have died.”\n", "He couldn't help it, I think. He's a ghost. He has a duty and he can't stop himself. Yet I still can't quell the bubble of rage that rises whenever he does his nightly howl. When you're a ghost, you get these urges. Urges to kill. And last time I checked, I wasn't insane. When you're a ghost, you can't really sink any lower. You want to take everyone with you. Everyone. Yet Malice as he likes to call himself made it slow. Drawn out. He made me suffer for the month that I was here. And he makes me suffer for the months that I'm not here, the months after I'd Gone.\n\nScrew him. This is my house, this is my death. \n\n\"Come here. I'm waiting. I don't think you're quite dead yet.\" God, there he goes again. I need to face him. I need to put this to an end. And there's only one solution. There's only one way. It's not right. It's a crime unto itself, but it must be done. I need to perform an exorcism.\n\nI'm hiding out in the attic and the cramped quarters are getting to me. Not that ghosts really feel much, but the same old room with nothing to do other than read is not pleasant. Being a ghost is not pleasant. I stand up. I've been sitting down, looking at the wall. \n\nAnd my attention goes to the door. And I walk through it. And my attention goes to the stairs below me. And I glide slowly. And my attention goes to the ghost in front of me, Malice. And I stop. And I stare. My hands ball into fists\n\n\"Ooh, lookie. Look who came down to join me. Poor me, staying down here all alone.\" He feigned tragedy. It didn't suit him. His intense eyes stared right at me, right through me. His face has a mocking expression. Nothing is more fun than this to him.\n\n\"You need to get out,\" I said. I couldn't keep the nervousness out of my voice. And I started. I started the only thing that would rid him of me.\n\nBe banished, be gone\n\nNever visit this one\n\nThis site will be done\n\nDone of the evil\n\nBe gone\n\nAnd I go to the closet, I go through the closet. I open the door and drag my carefully concealed body, my old body, into the space by the steps. Malice was still standing there. He couldn't move, the spell had ensured that. And I took some blood out of my body, only a tiny hole was needed. And I sprayed it over him, I drenched him in his victim. And with that, he was gone. And with that, I had quelled my urge for death. For another few months. There still would be more victims.\n\n_________\nMy first writing prompt! Hope you like it! ", "\"I said I was sorry,\" I muttered, twisting the top of my glossimer skirt. \"It's not like I was trying or anything.\"\n\n\"Not trying?\" Henric shouted. \"Look at me!\"\n\nSquinting made it easier, solidifying his semitransparent form. He was tall, even without the additional three inches he gained from floating. His hair looked white now, rather than the black it had been earlier, and his eyes had shifted from blue to gray. \"Um, well,\" I ventured, \"you still look hot.\"\n\n\"I'm dead.\"\n\nI winced. \"But a hot kind of dead,\" I assured him. \n\n\"You--you're crazy.\" He began pacing back and forth, the red carpet undisturbed beneath him. The only thing moving beside him was the tree outside, swaying back and forth in the storm. Watching it through the window made me feel vaguely seasick. \n\n\"A century of death will do that to a girl,\" with a sigh I stood up. \"Look, it was an accident.\"\n\n\"You threw me down the stairs!\" He jabbed a finger at the steps behind him, then pointed it at my face. \"How is that an accident?\"\n\n\"First off,\" I said as the tree outside groaned, \"I did not throw anyone. I just said 'hi.'\"\n\n\"What did you think was going to happen?\" Henric roared. \"A dead chick pops out and life is all sunshine and roses? No, I run like hell.\"\n\n\"You trip and fall is more like it.\"\n\n\"Shut up. This is your fault.\" He resumed his pacing, and I made a rude gesture at his back. I'd learned that while watching t.v. over his shoulder last week, when he was still alive and could use the remote. \"I saw that,\" he growled at me. \n\n\"Whatever. You're being a total jerk.\" Lightening struck, its fingers slashing through the sky. \"It was an accident, I apologized, and there's nothing more either of us can do about it.\"\n\nHe spun, his shirt appearing striped with the wallpaper visible through it. \"You killed me.\"\n\n\"I just wanted someone to talk to. You know how long it's been?\" This time, when the lightening hit it was close enough to rattle the windows. \n\nFor a moment he stopped, meeting my eyes before looking away. \"Just... tell me how to get out of here.\"\n\nI shrugged. \"You think I'd still be here if I knew?\" I didn't bother following him as he started around the room again. Rain beat against the windows as the tree waved madly. I saw Henric reach for the window. \"I wouldn't do that if I were you.\"\n\nHe set his jaw and laid a palm against it. I flinched when he did. It'd hurt, a lot. Touching anything towards the outside felt a bit like sticking a hand against an icy pole--then having to peel your skin off to let go. He yanked his hand back, then stared as his whole arm rippled. Dark gray blisters rose and burst in waves of agony before his form settled again. \n\nI rubbed my arm in memory. \"No matter how you go at it, or how many times you try, the walls won't let you out. They'll only hurt you. Bad.\"\n\nHis skin smoothed, the gray dissipating, but he did not move.\n\n\"It sucks, ok? Being dead sucks.\" I said, as gently as I could. \"But it could be worse.\"\n\n\"How?\" The single bleak word hung between us. \n\n\"You could be alone. For a hundred years.\"\n\nHenric turned and glared. I simply offered another shrug and strode back towards the kitchen. \n\n\"Don't believe me? That's fine. There's plenty of time to argue about it.\" I glanced back at him and raised an eyebrow, \"But first, want to know one of the perks of being dead?\"\n\n\"What?\" he said cautiously, as he stood framed before the window.\n\nI quirked a half-smile. \"You're story hit the news. We're totally going to get ghost hunters.\"\n\nHenric stepped after me automatically. \"What? Can they, like, hurt us?\"\n\n\"Hurt us?\" I laughed. \"We're dead. Only those outer walls can hurt us now.\"\n\n\"Then what's so great about ghost hunters?\"\n\nGrinning at him, I stepped through the inner wall. \"Ever heard of Peeves?\" The grin shifted to all-out mischief. \"Well, he ain't got nothin' on me.\" " ]	10
	[WP] The City Sleeps Alone Tonight	[ "I was once a major city in Ukraine. I had everything. The people who worked in the tower that was the foundation of my economy had no idea that the accident would happen until that day. It was the worst thing that happened to me. I lost everything. I don't hear any happy voices of children and adults in my amusement park. \n\nAll I hear is the wind,the rain and the scurrying of animals on the ground. If I could fix it somehow,I would. I'm so lonely,especially when I go to sleep.", "People call New York \"The City That Never Sleeps\", and for good reason. This little 'burg, though. It would be better called \"The City That ALWAYS Sleeps\". With only 400 residents tucked away deep in Southeastern KY, Lynch is just about the quietest, most unassuming town you could imagine. The only store is a small mom-and-pop convenience mart at the bottom of the hill, and more than half the homes are empty. Not much has changed here since the 1950's, from the architecture to the lack of PC culture. Kids ride their bikes down dusty roads that wind around the coal mines and back through the holler. Nothing of note really happens here, and that's the way folks like it. Those that have stayed, that is. \n\nThat's why everyone was so surprised when the commotion began around 6 pm yesterday evening. At first, folks assumed that there had been a cave-in or unintentional explosion, but the rumbling didn't stop. It kept growling and rolling, shaking the ground slightly, and growing steadily in intensity. The miners were sent home while the foremen scratched their heads and rechecked their equipment. Everything was shut down, and no one could explain where this growling rumble was coming from. \n\nTownsfolk tried to go on with their lives, ignoring the sound, expecting it to stop and be explained within a few hours. But, that didn't happen. By midnight, the sound had grown from a low rumble to a deafening roar. Children wailed in terror, and adults screamed to be heard over the din. Still, there was no source identified, no reason discerned. Throughout the night and right through the next day, the people of the town huddled together, trying to make sense of the terrible Sound. It continued all the way up to 6 pm tonight, when it suddenly stopped. Along with it, stopped every other sound in Lynch. Babes lay silent in their cribs, parents looked around with panicked eyes and no words on their lips. No crickets chirped in the evening gloom, and the leaves in the trees moved without a rustle. \n\nThe silence was more deafening than the Sound." ]	2
	[wp] You're shopping at a huge Home Center when you hear automatic gunfire from the far end of the store. You and the 3 strangers in your aisle look at eachother like 'WTF?!' You spring into action and begin whispering orders...	[ "\" you Blondie grab those propane tanks. And you big guy do you have the keys to this department? \" I quickly whisper as the gunshots get closer. The big man in the blue vest nods and fumbles for the keys \" good grab some guns and ammo while me and Blondie here set up those tanks as traps \" I say with a practiced ease from years leading my team in Call of Duty \nThe big guy crawls the three aisles over to the gun display while the blonde teen and I set tanks along the main walkway....I prey this works as well as it did in level 16.", "Gunfire? Yes, definitely gunfire. It's actually happening.\n\nMy handgun is in my right rear inner waistband. \n\nShit. Why did I bring the Ruger today? Sure, it's less bulky and more comfortable, but if they've got automatic weapons they may have body armor as well. A single-stack seven-round magazine isn't going to do anything but piss them off. I have an extra magazine and one in the chamber. \n\nFifteen rounds. Shit, shit, shit! They're firing that many in just a couple seconds. I can distract them at the very least. Force them into cover. If I save one it's worth it.\n\nThey're on the side of the store, not the front entrance. Why the fuck are they here? Why did they start there? People will be flooding out of the front entrance and I need to keep them out of crossfire. I have to go toward the back of the store and draw their fire there. \n\nThat's a stupid sweater. I grab her shoulder as the second volley of twelve or so shots ring out. \n\n\"Stay low, follow the edge of the store to the front entrance. Call for help as soon as you're out.\"\n\nI flash my weapon, \"Tell them I'm helping. Go.\"\n\nI make my way toward the rear of the store as quickly as I can while keeping my head down, weapon still holstered. I don't need anyone thinking I'm the fucking maniac on my way.\n\nI may not make it out of this, but I'll be damned if I'm dying with any rounds unspent.... \n" ]	2
	[WP] The hero must destroy the necromancer, not because he is moral and it must be done, but because he's suicidal and wants to stay dead	[ "A continuation of a [previous writing prompt](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/4zz37y/wp_you_are_a_freshman_in_a_school_where_everyone/)\n\nI looked at Michael with a mixture of pity and joy. His efforts at redeeming himself hadn't paid fruit like he'd thought. He was still here, still bound to the mortal plane, just like I was. It had been a few years since my days at the academy. Despite my best efforts, demonstrations of power and control beyond any of the faculty, let alone anyone in history, the powers at be decided that, for some reason, I had to be a super villain. \n\nI knew he had friends, but what I didn't know was how far they would go to keep him happy. If they knew that I too could spill their secrets, they might not have been so eager to take his side. I guess they didn't get the high marks in espionage and terrorism that I did. I don't like sneaking around and blowing things up, but hiding in plain sight is a skill I've found need of all to often. Still, someone periodically recognizes me, either from my academy days or they catch a glimpse of me at night. Especially a full moon like tonight. \n\nI pity the revenant I've made, not because I bound him so well to this plane, but because he still can't see that redemption isn't about saying sorry, or being a better person. It's about making amends for the past, undoing what you can, and compensating the injured where you can't. Whether or not actually killing me is going to set him free is irrelevant. He doesn't see that even if I do die and he's no longer bound to his body, he'll still be very much bound to this plane.\n\nJust as bound as I am, despite the fact that, after I'd long given up searching, he actually found what had become my Phylactery. I had found love and happiness in college. I'd actually thought I'd evaded everyone, but I was wrong. I gave my fiancee my grandmother's wedding ring as an engagement ring. Then the CIA made an attempt on my life, and she died as a result. I've never been able to love again. \n\n\"Of all the things. I never thought that would have been what bound me here. It won't save you Mr. Smith. Even if you set me free, you're still stuck here until you've truly atoned.\" He smashes the ring under his boot. It hurts to see something of Grandma's that I had to go through such efforts to find be destroyed, but the return of my body to the mortal state more than makes up for it. \n\n\"So, you've crushed it. I'm no longer bound to it. What's next, a bullet through my...\" He doesn't let me finish. Poor fool. Now he has to add my murder to the list of things he must atone for. A familiar voice comes from behind me.\n\n\"Why did you always take the high path, why did you always want to help people?\" \n\nI turn and see my fiance, Laura. She's smiling because she's happy to see me. She's sad because I'm dead. \"The same reason you wanted to be a doctor for Doctors Without Borders, the same reason Might Man runs that underground hacking ring for unwilling villains like me. There's too much wrong with the world, too much that shouldn't be. I wanted to make a difference, a good difference.\" \n\nMicheal Smith, at this point, is screaming in the mortal plane. He's emptied the rest of his magazine into his own skull, to absolutely no effect. I was hoping he wouldn't do that. It's one of those unpleasant facts about destroying a Phylactery, you put a single drop of blood on it, both it and the lich bound to it come back. With some luck, he won't get blood on it. \n\n\"They told me that you've still got a lot of work to do, I just wanted to tell you it's OK. You can go back, for both of us.\" She always was a giving person. I feel absolutely terrible for even thinking of taking her up on it, but she's right, there's still so much more I can, and arguably must, do. \n\nI hug her, holding her tight and close. \"I miss you so much, I'm so sorry I got you killed.\" \n\n\"You didn't kill me, people like him did, perhaps you can do something about that.\" She's right, not only can I do something about that, but if I ever really want to die I have to. I could never truly rest if I didn't. \n\nMicheal is about to realize that I'm not just a Lich, I'm a specter as well, and those don't leave until their quest is done. \n\n\"I'll miss you.\"\n\"I'll miss you too.\"\n\nMicheal is crying out about how it's unfair as my body, in the form it should have been, begins to turn into the glowing coals of a house fire. The skin turns to a superfine ash which begins blowing into an altogether different form: that of a boy on the verge of his teen years, burned beyond recognition.\n\n\"No. No, no, no...\" He stares at the cloud forming in front of him, taking the shape that he's come to know all to well. He hasn't seen my Spectral form, only my undead form. The body before him becomes wreathed in blue flames, and the eyes open to reveal two orbs of glowing red light. The flaming horror that is my form simply pushes him away, picks up the shattered ring, and rubs it into his blood. Instantly, I change back to the half spirit, half charred flesh that my enemies, and friends, have all come to know. I put the ring on my pinky finger, and rise.\n\n\"You see, I can't rest until men like you stop ruining life for everybody else. Maybe if you stopped being a shit ball, we'd both get what we want.\" \n\nWith those words, I once again teleport to my lair. I hate calling it that, but being that I've buried it a good fifty meters below the basement of Area 51, it very much applies. My yorkie starts yipping immediately, happy to see me after a day's work. I reach down and pet him.\n\"Hi little buddy!\" ", "No one understands. They can't! They simply can't!\n\nIt started in the great battle against the Dark Lord. His empire had threatened to consume the entire continent, but we stood against him. My men and I held back their hordes and made their lives hell. For months we stood our ground until he was so fed up with our resistance that he personally came to the field of battle. I engaged him in single combat, fighting for nearly an hour, until I finally landed a mortal blow and keeled over in exhaustion. \n\nI was told it was less than an hour before that wizard arrived and woke me from my mortal slumber. He brought me back to life and simply stated that I still had more good to give to the world. He claimed that I was not fated to die that day. \n\nI wish I had. \n\nThe afterlife is nothing short of paradise. I saw the friends I lost, ate meals beyond compare, and laughed with the stories the strangers told. He yanked me out and threw me back here. After being in the light, this world is grey and miserable. \n\nI tried to die a few days after being back home, but that wizard did something. I cannot die now, whether it is my hand or that of an enemy. \n\nI will find him and demand to be given my afterlife. It is all I care about now.\n\n-Journal of the once great hero, Joral Sigath", "######[](#dropcap) \n\nI remember when The Dark Lord first emerged from the Ashes of Merlin, and I rose to fight against him. There are details missing from that distant time, of course. Misty and illusive things to me now, those memories are nothing more than faded pieces and fragments that I might still discover in the fog of my thoughts- stumbling on their shapes only to lose in an instant back to the depths they once emerged. \n\nIt pains me to realize them; to taste the bitter knowledge that I can no longer comprehend the fullest extent of my loss.\n\nA hero though... I can still remember that. It was my role when I was alive, you see. Rodrick of the Black Sword, Champion of Knights, Warrior of ballads, and keeper of many other titles I've surely lost with the passage of time: So it was that I fought threats to those who might bring harm to my Kingdom's people.\n\nThere were others like myself, emboldened in this task, for it was not just I alone who stood against the Dark forces that emerged to threaten the world. Those old beings of legends and graying beards, some of which might still persist in the songs of far-off lands: Dragon Riders of the Northern Tribes, Berserkers of the Desert Sands, the Bands of the Mighty Falcon, and the Priests of the Illuminated Lord. To say they were all Bitter enemies would be understating their hatred for one another, yet still they joined forces together for the sake of strength: United hope of defeating the Great and Terrible Mage of Darkness their only goal.\n\nFrom afar, I watched as those mighty armies crashed ahead with lighting and anvil clouds above their heads. The horns blasted sound behind my ears, trumpets of glory muffled by the thunderous cries of men heading towards war. That precious sun above our heads soon was covered by thick clouds of gray, and even the most heroic of shouts seemed quiet lies before our charge into its midst. I heard the screams of our ally's demise over the roars of our own soldier's shouts, and I believed with certainty in that instant we rode towards what a certain death.\n\nAn honorable death, perhaps, but still a death all the same.\n\nI did not hesitate in the face of it though, for our purpose was clear even with such a threat before us: For the good of the world, the Dark Lord had to meet his end. Into the riling abyss of allies and enemies, we crashed like the fist of an angry god upon the seething ranks of warriors.\n\nIt was only moments until my stallion was brought to an early end, screaming in pain as it threw me to me into the bloody carnage of the ground below. My armor sloshed in the soaked and riled muck: A place where magics flew through the battle field like acid rain, where undead soldiers ripped themselves from the ground and graves, pulling down our own warriors with horrible and sickening bursts of death and violence. I witnessed a dragon pierced by ten thousand arrows of shadow to plummet down on unfortunate souls below, and then I watched it rise again: Scales withered and wings shaved to bone. \n\nHundreds of thousands died on both sides, but that horrific touch of magic would always bring them rise again. Skeletons reforming along tendrils of dark mana, corpses repurposed to whatever ends he sought. For all our careful planning, our own strength was slowly being turned against us.\n\nStill our charge continued- desperate as it was. His soldiers were weak for all their numbers: Far weaker than the sword I wielded. I had slain a thousand enemies before it, and I crushed hundreds more that day alone with that violent arc of blackened steel. Behind my onslaught clearing a path, the surviving troops rallied, and together we cast a spear of men- driving deep into his armies and past them. On that bloody ground, I reached the Dark Lord and took terrible satisfaction in his look of disbelief. \n\nHe'd not expected such a feat. From the man who had thought to rule the world, never again have I seen such a look upon his face. Wounded and fatigued as I was, when I broke through his final guard and made my final charge: I drove my sword home. I drove it deep. \n\nThough his chest it did pierce, to fountain a surge of red victory. It seemed even the great God of Death might find himself a slave it's tendencies: All men die, after all.\n\nThen... Then... I remember it even now- though it is a struggle. Even now as all but my most powerful memories fades off into the dark of the great-beyond, as my purpose is lost like rusting steel left to the constant rains. I can still summon the memories of his horrified expression sliding towards a sinister smile, pale lips curling as the chants bubbled from the bloody foam that crowded his face and beard. The Dark Mage cast a single motion, hand reaching out to rip back in a single vicious tear- dragging the last of my life with it.\n\nSoul Drinker. \n\nThat is how many know of the Dark Lord Gillian now, and that is how uncountable others have met the same fate as I did that day. When my body arose, it bowed despite the rage I felt inside: It submitted to his demands as a matter of course, and forced me to turn on my former comrades- shedding not a single tear for their screams of mercy.\n\nUndead... How strange a thing it is to become. \n\nMy body and flesh slowly fade from their importance beneath the Black armor, the likes of which is now bewitched by the unseen magics of power residing far within the steel. My mind too has faded, memories lost and with it my sense of self. Perhaps in a way I am no longer undead, but undying: For what little remains alive of who I was, the rest of my being has already left this world- likely waiting at the gates of another great-beyond for true passage.\n\nFor all that of my slow decline, the Dark Lord has not changed since that fateful day. His youthful features are ever enduring against the passage of time, his wit and tongue sharp as ever, and his powers only seem to grow. Although, it is not without some shifting: With the years comes slow and roiling undercurrents in his moods. The Mage has taken greater and greater risks, paid less attention, failed to mind the expansive reach of those under his control.\n\nNot forgetful- No, for his mind is fine as it ever was, a Genius unparalleled as Merlin who raised him: But growing in its decisions to overlook, to expand its ignorance in all but those fewest things he deems important enough to hold his attention.\n\nIt is in this thin gray-area of unknowing is where I raise my quiet banners of resistance.\n\nBetween his summons and orders, my battles now are much smaller things than I'd likely have imagined waging. A slow campaign of horrible fights with little glory, barely a single distant hope of a true victory on the horizon next to the persistent needs of survival. I continue on, holding what sense of self remains until the next war comes, enduring and crumbling what little things I can beneath my armored fist. \n\nI will undo his accomplishments as the elements bring ruin to even the most masterfully crafted works; in tiny cracks and seams. I will survive to see him dead, but not for glory, nor for the good of this world I remain. \n\nNot for vengeance, not even for the memory of that ancient Kingdom I once served- the name of which has long since faded from my memories.\n\nNo: I will see the Dark Lord meet his end, if only so that I may die myself.\n\n----\n\n...\n\nThis is a continuation of a bunch of other writing prompts:\n\n[Start here](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/51f8ag/wp_youre_such_a_powerful_magician_that_life_is/d7bn3g2)\n\n[Previous](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/54shgu/wp_arthur_c_clarke_said_any_sufficiently_advanced/d88jsi6)\n\n[Next](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/55o0d9/wp_in_vino_veritas/d8cal7z)" ]	3
	[WP] The world's greatest hero and most infamous villain put their differences aside and team up against a great evil: a dude being a douche to someone on public transport.	[ "“We meet yet again Ultra-Mecha-Hitler, and here I’d thought you were destroyed back in Argentina!” he said, his red cape following him in as the doors behind him in the subway. \n“Ah, you have found me at last, Perfect Gentleman-Man, mein persistent foe, and right before I enact mein final plan, or should I say, final SOLUTION.” \nUMH stood up and sneered. He had given up on trying to hide his oversized robotic frame behind a newspaper and old-timey tan fedora, and he shuffled to the aisle. His dual chainguns had not yet begun to spin, but Perfect Gentleman-Man was at the ready anyways. \n All along the sides of the subway, people more or less reacted with minimal interest. They would move out of the way of danger of course, but this sort of spectacle had lost all of its glamor a long time ago, they lived in Dire-City, after all. A name like that has its fair share of foes and villains and even celebrities like UMH and Perfect Gentleman-Man were up to business as usual. \n “When we last met, I thought that mein self-destruct had obliterated you and your allies!”\n “That’s where you were wrong! You and your Ultra-Ubersoldats couldn’t possibly fight a war on two fronts with the Incredibly Considerate Posse and Band of Extra-Special…” Perfect Gentleman-Man trailed off, looking to one seated near him. The entire subway car glanced over at the person, who was blaring some obscure alternative music through his phone near the aisle.\n “Excuse me, sir. Hey, Hi. This lady here has been standing since I got on, and there is an empty seat next to you that she could take if you let her past, it’s becoming a full car.”\n “But not as full as mein railcars were!”-Ultra-Mecha-Hitler shouted, not willing to lose the center of attention so easily.\n “UMH, I’m busy.” Perfect Gentleman-man exclaimed, flabbergasted by the subway man’s inconsiderate behaviour. \n The man looked up and scoffed, then turned up his music even louder. He was middle-aged, and wearing what appeared to be a recently used running outfit, which smelled terrible. \n “Oh that’s fine, I’ll just go back to saving lives and she can stand.” Perfect Gentleman-Man dejectedly said, turning back to UMH. \n “I’m sorry miss.” he added to the girls before turning back to the villain.\n “And I won’t be sorry to have missed you!” UMH spun up his chainguns at last, letting loose a salvo that tore into the doors at the end of the subway car’s doors. They would have hit our Hero had the train not started moving adding to his momentum as he spun to the side. All around people shuddered at the sound of gunfire, but ultimately did nothing else. \n “Drat, I’ll have to have Doctor Chancellor Wehrmacht adjust mein aiming collaborations and...Oh mein Gott, now he is clipping his nails.” UMH was now the one to lose his focus, as the inconsiderate man began to let his fingernails fly across the compartment. One of them even landed on an old lady’s lap. \n “Wow, excuse, SIR, hey, it’s me again, you just got pointed by literally Hitler for your sick behaviour.” Perfect Gentleman-Man added.\n The man made no reaction other than to take off both of his shoes and begin to trim his toenails. He sniffled deeply and grossly without looking at the hero and villain.\n “I wake up in ze morning and think of people like him when I want to remember why I am trying to exterminate ze world.” UMH remarked to himself and the nearest passengers.\n UMH ducked just in time to miss a yellow immobilization beam from Perfect Gentleman-Man’s gloved wrists. Perfect Gentleman-Man did not expect to hit UMH, only keep him focused, otherwise he would have warned the villain like the gentleman he was. \n “Your axis of evil is at it’s end!” he said, trying to finish the matter. “If you turn yourself in I’ll make sure you get your fair consideration at your trial!\n “I’m never going back to ze courts! Not after Nuremberg 2.0! And after this train runs its course, ze courts will be obliterated with ze deathrays I never had ze chance to finish during my first life!”\n “I won’t let you! You are about to have your own person D-Day Hitler, and I’m not talking about the one coming to you in jail...JESUS CHRIST DUDE. Did you just cough into that guy’s face? Alright UMH, let’s push the pause button for a sec.”\n “You mean start a Molotov Cocktail-Ribbentrap? I will for him, this is ridiculous. I cannot concentrate, and you know how good I am at concentrating.” UMH lurched over and bent down to stare at the man alongside Perfect Gentleman-Man.\n The subway car’s occupants again turned to the man clipping his nails. He finally turned towards the present company and spoke, whereupon they both found he also had not brushed his teeth in a while.\n “What?”\n “You have been a douche this entire ride.” Perfect Gentleman-Man said coming to a rest from this brisk walk over. \n “Look at this. You put your bag up on ze seat and there are still many, many others around. This fraulein has been standing since she came in. I’m not one for Perfect Gentleman-Man’s manners, but come on.”\n “Well, I like me and my personal things to be comfy and close.” The man said in the dumbest voice imaginable. \n Ultra-Mecha Hitler could not hold in his rage at the audacity (and clearly poor grammar) and began to spin up his chainguns. But Perfect Gentleman-Man held up his hand.\n “Look, this is public transportation. PUBLIC transportation, which means you don’t clip your nails, you don’t cough in other people's face and you don’t blare your weird music for the world to hear. Get some headphones.” he said, his patient nature shining through.\n “In mein vastly superior country, we would know to be better than this to others, no matter what ze ‘caust.” Only UMH knew he has spelled “cost” incorrectly the way he did, but the effect was the same to his twisted mind. \n “Did you just get done exercising or something? You smell like horrible. How hard is it to wash yourself before you leave the house. Good God, it smells like the liberation of one of UMH’s death camps.” Perfect Gentleman-Man said.\n\t“What I do is none of your biz-ness!\" He said it exactly like that. \"And I’ll have you know, I haven’t had a chance to shower yet.” the inconsiderate man said in futile defense. \n “Then trust me mein friend, I will give you a shower to remember.” " ]	1
With all of this talk about virtual reality headsets and the games that are being made for them, I figured this could possibly make a good writing prompt! I look forward to what y'all write!	[WP] You accidentally fall asleep using your new virtual reality headset. When you wake up, you begin to realize that you are in the world of whatever game you were playing with the VR system!	[ "Buh, buh, ... I was watching YouTube on it. Oh dear God! \nI'm trapped on the trending page.\nPlease,... No more... \nOh crap, a 10 hour music video compilation.\nOh CRAP! ITS ON POP SENSATIONS OF THE 2000'S AND 10'S.\n. \n. \n. \n... There's never a hack attack to kill a server when you need one.\n", "The VR bubble had popped in the early 2020's much like the dot com bubble of the early 2000's. Where there had been many companies, now they were consolidated into few. Google's Daydream VR and Sony's Playstation VR had taken over the headset market. The former charged $20 for headsets which used smartphones as screens, the latter had gotten out of the console business and now made high-end ergonomic headsets for PC under their old console brand. There were competitors, but much like Samsung and Apple in the New 10's, they were barely worth mentioning. Linden Labs' Sansar had become the VR social media of choice after failing to garner much support as an actual metaverse, while JanusVR was the actual browser used to access both it and the \"FireBox Metaverse\" that had sprung up around JanusVR's own html-like open standard.\n\nAs for games, in the same way that the polygon ceiling had killed many platformers and early FPS games in the mid-90s, traditional franchises like Resident Evil, Fallout and Minecraft were unable to get through the VR ceiling. MMOs once again had found their footing, but these were no World of Warcraft theme park questfests. While Star Citizen had been a partial success in breaking through the VR ceiling, the true successes came out of nowhere.\n\nOne of those successes was Hacker Experience 2. HE2 had started life as a 2D game, with an interface that was designed for flat monitors and smartphones, but ironically that very same simple nature meant it could easily be played in VR. All it took was a virtual reality PC in a JanusVR room and, like Netflix in a VR theater, you had everything you needed to be to \"hack the planet\" in the cinematic way real hackers never actually do. The VRPC was divided into a few different pieces, with the gameplay-critical parts like external hard drives having a default form defined by the game, while the monitor, mouse and keyboard were all handled by JanusVR.\n\nI had been playing HE2 for a little longer than you should have, and the clock on the virtual wall read 1:08, which was backed up by the clock in the corner of the game on the monitor. It was Friday night... well, Saturday morning, and the summer heat was making it impossible to sleep willingly, so I decided to keep playing until I passed out.\n\nThere wasn't much going on, so I considered downloading a virtual object for a change in environment. I looked at the things around me... The monitor was an iMac G4 \"iLamp\" which I was too nostalgic about to get rid of. The mouse? The Keyboard? Not much point, since the feeling of your real equipment broke immersion if you chose anything too different from reality. I settled on altering the room instead... but maybe after I close my eyes for a second...\n\nI woke up slowly, and wondered what time it was. Google Assistant hadn't woken me up, so I assumed that it wasn't 7 AM yet. I realized I was still looking at the virtual bedroom I played HE2 and browsed the flatnet with. That's right, I'd fallen asleep with my headset on. My face felt strange, though. I reached for the PSVR goggles to take them off, and realized why. There were no goggles on my face. The room around me still looked virtual, but as I became concerned and checked everything for flaws, I quickly realized they were as solid as if they were the real deal. \"Google, call my roommate.\" I said, hoping this was either a very bad dream or I at least still had a physical form." ]	2
	[WP] A fantasy world, where mythical creatures are not species, but individuals. There is only one Dragon, Vampire, Werewolf, etc.	[ "Bloodsucker\n\n---\n\nI tucked my cloak tighter around me, collar flipped up to protect against the wind. \n\nIt was chilly, up here on the mountain trail. I didn’t much like the cold, but I’d already resigned myself to enduring it. There was no place for wimps on this quest, so I wasn’t going to say a word about it.\n\nRegardless, I wished I’d brought the wooly gloves Mom had knit for me.\n\nI trudged along, working my way up the dangerous slope. Ice spotted the trail, and one slip would send me hurtling down to the ravines below. Not a good way to end the day. So I stepped carefully, head down, watching the rocks. It was only when I got to the next corner that I allowed myself to look up for a moment.\n\nAn enormous building rested on the peak of the next mountain. It was a mansion, large doors and windows shutting out the wind and the snow, and two massive towers rising to the sky. It all appeared to be made of rough wood, like a log cabin, and I could easily imagine entire flocks of bats or birds nesting under the eaves of the roof. Not that anything lived up here. I was probably the first visitor in a hundred years.\n\nHopefully my host would be surprised.\n\n---\n\nI finally found myself standing before the massive doors of the mansion. Even though they were simple in design, two large wooden slabs, they were still intimidating. \n\nI reached out, grabbed a handle, and shoved. \n\nWith a groaning noise equivalent to a humpback whale in pain, the doors swung inward. I grimaced. That had probably alerted the creature I was about to confront.\n\nBut just in case it hadn’t, I stayed as quiet as possible as I walked in. Feet creeping along the edges, testing large boards to make sure they were solid, I made my way inside.\n\nThe entire place was built of wooden floorings and massive logs for walls and ceilings. I could only guess how he got it all up here. There were no lights, gas or electric, and it was even colder in here than it was outside, if that was possible.\n\nThe most surprising thing, I have to admit, was that the entire building was hollow. There was only one room, the main room, and the only way to see was from the dim natural light that leaked in through the massive windows.\n\nThere was a carpet on the floor, long and wide and a deep dark red. The entire thing was coated with a thin layer of ice, and every step I took left a blood-colored footprint in the frost.\n\nDown at the end, on a raised pedestal, sat a stone. It was as undecorated as the rest of the building, simple and sturdy. I drifted up to it, examining the flat-faces of the stone. There would be something about it, I knew, something different, a way to tell…\n\nThere. A thin line a foot under the top of the stone. A perfect match, lid to box.\n\nFor a brief moment, I wondered if I could even move it. It looked like a rather heavy stone, and I hadn’t thought to bring anything to move it with.\n\nmy fears disappeared when I touched it. The rock was a thin box, and I was able to shift the top an inch with just a firm shove.\n\nI quickly pulled it back. I had to be ready, fully prepared, before I opened it. Slouching off my backpack, I rummaged through it, finding my equipment.\n\n---\n\nHalf an hour later, I stood confidently once more before the box. It was time.\n\nFlashlight in hand, I put my shoulder to the box and heaved myself against it. The whole thing rocked, and the lid popped free. \n\nFor half a moment, all the air seemed to get sucked from the room and into the now-opened box, and I stumbled forward half a step. It was as if the box- or something in it- were taking a deep breath, after decades of stillness.\n\nAnd then the stone lid exploded upward, flying to the rafters and shattering into a dozen pieces. It was quickly followed by a black blur, a streak that flowed out of the box and into the room, stopping suddenly, in the middle of the room.\n\nAs soon as it ceased moving, I was able to get an actual look at it. With a cloak of dark, torn cloth that reminded me of feathers, it had a hood up, facing away from me. It was glancing around in sharp, quick turns, bird-like, examining the area. And then it jerked in my direction, and I saw its face.\n\nWhite, pale as snow. It’s face was long and sharp, with eyes that were all pupil, totally black. I couldn’t even make out a mouth beyond a thin line, but I knew it was there, and deadly. Glancing up at the feathery good, I realized that the cloak wasn’t pulled up over its head, it was attached. Rather than a hairline, it had these strips of fluttering, black feather-like things, emerging from its skull.\n\nIt stared at me, eerily still. When it opened its mouth to speak, it’s voice was raspy, as if it hadn’t been used in years and years. Which was probably exactly what had happened.\n\n“Huuuman… Are you the oooone who has freed me from my prisooooon?” A thin black tongue darted out, licking its nonexistant lips, and it tilted its head curiously.\n\nI grinned at it. “You’ve got that right, bud. I let you out, but it’s not going to stay that way for long. I plan on taking you with me.” I reached into my cloak, grabbing at the ball of rope I’d stored there for this time.\n\nI hesitated though, when it let out a sharp hisssssss. “Yoooou cannot take me away, Huuuuman. I can sense noooo magic. Noooo power. You are foolish, to free me.\n\nIn the next instant, it turned into a blur again, this time dashing right toward me. I had no time to react as it lunged for my throat, and I was launched backwards with the force at which it hit me. I heard it’s teeth close around my neck with a solid crack, followed by a ringing in my head as it stumbled backward, hand to its mouth.\n\nI took a deep breath, and stood back up, chuckling. “I don’t need any of that magic, Vamp. I’ve got something different, something you wouldn’t suspect.” I flipped my collar down, revealing the metal band that surrounded my neck and covered my shoulders. “Knowledge of what you are and what you do. Preparation. Science.”\n\nIt gazed at me warily, unsure now. It took the hand away from its mouth, and I caught a glimpse of a dark blood. Not mine.\n\nIt flew to the side again, aiming for the massive door that I’d left open. Halfway there, it shrunk, turning from a feathery flow into a feathery flap, a large raven, flapping to freedom.\n\nAs soon as it reached the door though, it jerked to a stop in midair, halted by the grid of steel wire I’d tied over the opening earlier. It tumbled to the ground, and I took one step forward, yanking the net out of my cloak and hurling it over the downed bird.\n\nIt looked up at me with a baleful eye, and I nudged it with my toe. “Too bad, bud. You are coming with me, whether you like it or not. And I’ve got some friends who are gonna get quite a shock at your existence.”\n\nI lugged him up, and slung the ropes over my back. This was a solo mission… But next time, I’d have some help. These monsters didn’t stand a chance.\n\n---" ]	1
	[WP] Roll ? number of dice, remember the number and now write a story involving that number without saying that number.	[ "Beep\n\n“Any luck on your end?”\n\n“No. Too much of the mechanism is wired through the keypad. I can’t figure out what to cut with detonating it.”\n\nBeep\n\n“Shit! You’d think he’d of had the decency to color-code his doomsday device.”\n\n“If only. What about you?”\n\n“I have no freaking clue. At this point, a countdown clock would be better than this stupid riddle.”\n\n“Let’s see it: ‘A prime of small primes sum to another prime, yet their union forms a composite.’ Who the hell thinks like that?”\n\n“How should I know?! All we have is a five-digit entry, and one chance to get it right!”\n\n“Calm down: we still have a chance. It can’t be a large number, given how short the code is, and it has to do with primes.”\n\n“No kidding, Sherlock. But there’s a ton of prime numbers, and I don’t really remember any past twenty-three.”\n\n“But it said we have to add them to get another prime, and together they’re... not prime? Composite means not prime, right?”\n\n“We still don’t know how many we need to add though! Hell, it might not even use all five digits!”\n\n“... If that were the case, where’s the zero key?”\n\n“What?”\n\nBeep\n\n“The number pad. It’s missing the zero.”\n\n“Huh. Evil mastermind, yet too cheap to spring for a full keypad.”\n\n“That actually helps a ton. Hey, hand me your note pad. I’m guessing that the code is the prime equation, minus the signs. If we write out the possible primes first... This all of them?”\n\n“I think? Why only the ones before a hundred?”\n\n“Need to fit the full equation in, and still no zero, right? So if we add up these numbers, we get... These equations.”\n\n“... That’s more than a few.”\n\n“Yeah, but it said ‘small primes’, so I’m guessing that it’s this one.”\n\n“Okay... Can’t you rearrange how you add the numbers together?”\n\n“... Dammit. Sigh, that doubles-”\n\n“And you can switch which side you have the equals sign on.”\n\n“-quadruples the possible answers. ... Any guesses?”\n\n“Well, that one’s even, so it could be that, but it comes from the rearranged order, and I don’t know about the other three. Any clue about the normal order ones?”\n\n“No, and we probably don’t have the time to test all of them before this goes off. Let’s just... let’s go with this one, and hope for the best...”\n\ntap, tap, tap, tap, tap, Enter\n\n...\n\nBeep" ]	1
	[WP] You are the last alive of Elon Musk's 'One Million to Mars' project, this is your last diary entry as you describe what killed off the other settlers.	[ "They're all gone now. All of them. I'm the only one left.\n\nI still remember what it was like yesterday. 8th grade, a day like many others, filled with stuck-up bitches and assholes. That dick Jim Wagner slugged me in the shoulder in the hallway for no damned reason other than he thinks I'm a nerd. The teachers didn't care. Everyone is on edge around here, but that comes from being the first off-world colony. They all seem to take it out on me.\n\nThey should have listened. They should have stopped. They should have cared. But they didn't. They didn't and now they're all gone. The atmosphere was blown out of the colony, devoured by Mars, and I survived due to being outside in an environmental suit. I was able to get back in, fix the problem, and restore the atmosphere before my suit ran out of oxygen. It's their own fault, really. They should have cared more about the security of the atmosphere control systems.\n\nIt was way too easy to sabotage it and steal the environmental suit. No more assholes in the hall. No more adults who don't care. They didn't care about me. Nobody did. Now they've all paid the ultimate price and I get this whole colony to myself. I can do whatever I want and no one is here to stop me.\n\nNo one is here.", "The good news, my thesis advisor explained through the quantum telecom, was that this proved beyond a doubt that life had originated on Mars. Which was nice. The Seed Theory had been attacked by members of the Astrobiological Society since the 50's as some vapid fantasy. The bad news was that the Martian flu killed us all.\n\nWell, not me.\n\nYet.\n\nI wonder how many researchers have said \"this thesis is killing me\" with absolute sincerity. Maybe whoever was first to write about Ebola? The Bubonic Plague? Serial murderers targeting exclusively geeky individuals who drink way too much coffee?\n\nThe last ship leaving Mars carried with it my sample. A tiny vial of saliva. Not my sample. The sample belonging to the guy who sneezed in my face and said \"whoops\".\n\nAt the time we didn't know what was going on. We thought \"oh hey there's a flu going on, that's interesting\". I thought it would be even more interesting to check whether this was, in fact, a Terrean flu. Oh they laughed. They laughed so hard. Much mirth was had. But not anymore. Because they're all dead. Jokes on you, Brad, who after reading through my notes said \"I hope you know how to make a decent latte\". I hope you know how to make a decent ~~funeral~~ ~~corpse~~ ~~de~~\n\nTurns out not every strain of Martian virus can survive burning through the Terrean atmosphere. This one couldn't. It dwelt on this planet until the day I decided to get real creative with my project. Until the day I decided to test my luck.\n\nWhen the sample arrived on Terra, people had already started dropping like Exxon-Mobile shares in the 30's. So my thesis advisor was careful. Now, he did end the talk by quizzing me about the symptoms. And he did grow paler for every sentence I produced.\n\nOh God I hope I didn't just kill what remained of human civilization. For my thesis project.\n\nAlright I'm still more worried about my project than my inevitable demise. How's that possible? I mean, before writing this I made some small adjustments to my introduction. Then I regretted them. And cried in the cafeteria, wondering how I ended up as this massive failure.\n\nWell, I guess maybe they will ... Oh God I hope they don't name the virus after me. No, of course they won't. This is Terra we're talking about. They're all Martian this and Martian that. And 'The Martian Flu' has a nice ring to it.\n\nBut it would be nice to get some recognition. I mean, I've worked hard on this. Maybe it's the fact that my fever's gotten so bad that I am wasting the little time I've got left to write my diary for today, but I am pretty much the most important man on this planet right now. And also the most useless.\n\nWell, as we say on Mars (I don't know why that is though): so long, and thanks for all the fish!", "Diary Log, Golf Station: Sol 548. 19:33 ZULU [GMT]\n\nEntry:\n\nWell I guess that's that. The other stations have gone to black and aren't receiving anything anyone's putting out, not even Houston. Which means they likely aren't powered anymore either. If the other logs from the other stations aren't recovered for whatever reason, Echo station to the southwest lasted the longest with the most, if that matters.\n\nLab data is still trickling in and I'm going to try and conserve any power I can possibly divert into keeping those systems functional. The goal will be to transmit any findings back to Houston or whoever the hell is running this nightmare factory. The initial stuff coming out is fairly grim.\n\nThe incubation period for the bacteria seems to be about three days, but it's also altered as it spread through the stations. I think the Kilo station reported in symptomatic patients within five or six hours, which could imply that the thing is learning how to spread and grow all the quicker. But, I don't know. Kilo went dark first, so perhaps the bacteria there was a victim of its own success, killing everyone too quickly to spread to the other stations. Anyways, my own bacterial count is staying pretty steady at present. I feel like I've got malaria again, for whatever that's worth and I suppose there's a chance that's what's going on in addition to the Red Plague. The sores aren't as bad as I'd seen them in Bravo, but they're not pretty either.\n\nMost of the infirmaries are loaded up with seal tight body bags. There was a plan to try and store the bodies outside but the manpower to move them all all just kinda joined the pile. The quarantines kicked in too late and there's a few scattered bodies around the living quarters or tucked away at working and supporting sectors. I pretty strongly advise against coming out this way or even onto this red ball again, but if anyone is out there and listening, that's where most of the bodies are.\n\nOh, and if any of the other files get corrupted in the interim before any sort of second wave arrives; I know this file is getting transmitted with the lab findings using whatever energy I can salvage out of the depths of this place; do not bother looking for Delta Station. It was the epicenter of the whole damn outbreak and I'm pretty damn sure some hero went and triggered a catastrophic meltdown and annihilated the whole friggin' place. Only Alpha was within eyesight of the place and last reports were of heavy smoke and dust clouds rising from the location.\n\nAnyways, I'm going to power down this station and convert this message over so it can be embedded into the transmission back home. My name is Tedd...uh...Theodore Fraisdorf. Chief microbiologist and head of the science division from Sierra Station. I'm not really sure how to say goodbye to two whole planets at the same time so here goes.\n\nDon't come to Mars, not til you sort out how to deal with the Red Death.\n\n[END TRANSMISSION]\n\n{1 Attached File}", "17th March 2106\n\nThe Anthropocene is what I will call it, the human age. Well, more the documentation of the end of the human race. I figured being the last human left on Mars I may as well give this travesty of human error a name. It's really sad, on this day the human race is finally gone, after me President Musk's vision finally has failed. I hope one day in a thousand or even a million years someone or something will find this diary and learn from our mistakes. It really isn't that surprising though, the human race has (since the industrial revolution) ultimately had a self-destructive trajectory. We thought leaving the earth behind would stem our problems, our follies and vices. But as we always have been able to adapt, we adapted our problems to match. After a thousand years of expansion at an exponential rate, the scarce resources of Mars became bargaining chips in the political spectrum. War broke out, war always breaks out. But this time it was different, there were no young men venturing off to their lead graves, no shellshock, no PTSD...just bombs, nuclear war had broken out on Mars just as it had on Earth. Thankfully, being one of the few researchers of the polar wastes I was one of the estimated 0.4% of the population that survived the M.A.D. Ten years ago today I began this diary, ten years ago I put on this radiation suit and haven't taken it off since. Ten years ago I began this diary in the hopes that I would find some others and begin again, I've seen one person in these ten years and she died of radiation sickness within hours. I don't know if I believe in fate or god or any deity of any kind, I don't know if I believe in anything anymore. \n\nThis will be my final entry, there is no hope for humanity left, the only vague reminiscence of us left is that curiosity rover still trekking around, picking up dirt and looking at rocks. Totally oblivious to the destruction around it. I wish I could live out that nonchalant existence, being happy at the sight of dust. I am however, cursed to live out my life with the internal torment of the human mind. I do however have free choice, to do as I please and end what I choose. That is why this will be my final entry, I have one gun, one bullet and an eternity of peace, torment or nothingness to look forward to. Anything is better than this.\n\nVeni, Vidi, Vici. What a terrible mistake.\n\n" ]	4
	[WP] You are a hopeless romantic. Which sucks for you, because you fall in love very easily.	[ "She'll adore this claret rose, oh I simply know she will, Jessica, my darling rose...\n\nI've always loved Jessica, I know I have. Always been waiting for that one perfect girl to come along. Time and again I thought, no I did, love others: Alice, Rebecca, Melissa, sweet Persephone, Penelope, Arissa, Cassie, beautiful Emma, Olivia, Sophia, Mia, Isabella, Charlotte, Harper, Ava, Amelia (oh Amelia!), Abigail, Emily, Madison, Evelyn, her sister Evie, their mother Avery, Hannah, Zoe, Brooklyn, Victoria, Grace and Layla... each girl unique and beautiful in their own way. Of course there were others, tens, hundreds more who I loved with all my heart... but none like Jessica.\n\nI remember meeting her for the first time. She was standing in the queue for the toilet at one of these amazingly chic bars where we all share the same bathroom. Anyway... the bar, the lighting, the smells and the laughter. People just loving life and enjoying it whilst they can, that's exactly what I'm all about. I can't help who I am, can I?\n\nI saw her first. She had a flowing red silk dress on, contrasted so perfectly by her blonde hair. Then she looked at me. It felt like I'd been punched, all the wind rushed out of my mouth. 'Endless Love' by Diana Ross and Lionel Richie was playing over the jukebox as our eyes met. Like two galaxies colliding, the moment felt as if it lasted eons, I fell farther and father down into the alluring abyss of her deep blue eyes, as if all the world around me went dark but for those two starry oceans. \n\nThe next thing I remember was lying on the floor of the bar, Jessica kneeling over me, a look of concern mixed with divine intrigue on her face. Her perfect brow so slightly furrowed with worry, for me? Her lips opened and closed, dancing in the flickering electric candlelight making shapes, possessing my mind... I had to dance too.\n\nShe spoke again, \"Are you OK?\" That voice! Oh that voice. Like an angel calling me, back to reality. Soft, and calming, completely healing the pain caused by the angry looking bump already growing on my head. I'd never heard anything like it, not once had someone generated this much... passion in me, simply by saying three words - I knew it then, I was in love. I wrinkled my face, holding back the tears, my emotions growing too powerful for me.\n\"Oh no! Please don't cry!\" She pleaded with me, anguished lines crossing her face. It was saddening yet mystifying to watch... \"It's just a bump, see...\" I finally found my thoughts, regained control.\n\"No, no, it's just...\" I remember now, my mind toiling. Then... as if I needed any cheap line here, this was straight from my heart. \"You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.\" She blushed. Her cheeks going scarlet, rose coloured... my rose.\n\nSo I think again now, as I get off the bus, the next day, to see the woman I know I'm going to marry. The skies are bluer than the deepest ocean, the birds are chirping their glee at this young love they're witnessing. I am in love! My rose. My Jessica. I have the poem in my head, ready. I'd stayed up most of the night looking at houses and engagement rings. We'd have three children, James, Hector and Melba. Two dogs, Crumble and Patch, and a cat, Scratches. We'd fall deeply and madly in love for the rest of our days, and even pass away side by side in our 90's, holding each other's hand across the bed.\n\n\"Excuse me!\" I realised I'd stopped walking and was staring up into the sky.\n\"Huh?\" Right in front of me was a woman, her dark curly hair fallen onto her shoulders, her green eyes frowning at me. Those eyes! Like an alpine valley in the summer, lush and verdant, promising all the joys of life...\n\"Hello!\" She smiled, \"Sorry, I'm just trying to get passed you.\" Only then did I notice that she had a gang of puppies with her, their tails wagging, eyes bulging in excitement at being on their first walk. Blushing at my incompetence, I bent down to stroke a chocolate lab, he licked my hand, the mischievousness of a puppies little lick is always a delight!\n\"I stood up again, sorry...\" Oh my God. \"Sorry, but...\", this girl... she was gorgeous. \"You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.\"\nHer mouth fell open in surprise and she blushed, then smiled.\n\nI dropped the rose." ]	1
	[WP] Every human on their 18th birthday get a card that predicts their future. It always come with a date and is 100% accurate. Your card says "1 week. Death"	[ "Rory flipped the card over and over again, each time hoping, wishing, begging for the words to change. With a frustrated sigh he flung the card across the room. Tears welled up in his eyes as he ran his shaking fingers through his knotted hair.\n\n\"Are... are you sure?\" He asked, voice cracking. \"Can't there be some sort of mistake?\"\n\n\"I'm afraid not. You know as well as I do that these cards are always right. I wish I could tell you otherwise.\" Replied the man sitting across from Rory. Short as it was, his black hair looked as tangled as the young man's. Dark circles sagged under his green eyes, and the wrinkles in his suit indicated he hadn't changed out of it anytime recently.\n\nRory collapsed his head onto the table, clasping it with his hands. Tears rolled freely now despite his best efforts. Several awkward moments passed as the man in black waited. Finally Rory lifted his head, sniffling several times.\n\n\"What now?\"\n\nShifting uncomfortable in his seat the man responded quietly. \"We're dropping our support, Rory. I'm sorry, we have no choice.\" He looked away, a few tears coming to his own eyes.\n\nJaw dropping open, Rory stared at the man with widened eyes. \"N-No... You can't! You know I didn't do it! You know I'm innocent! You can't! Please, no! Please...\" The young blonde collapsed his head again, this time sobbing uncontrollably.\n\n\"I'm sorry Rory. We thought we could over turn the conviction... but your card...\" The young lawyer stood from his seat, head hanging low. He motioned for the guard, who helped Rory to his feet. \"I'm sorry Rory. I've arranged for your family to visit you soon. Our office will continue to do everything we can for you until...\" He let the sentence drop as Rory turned away and slowly walked back towards the cell block, ignoring the rest of the man's words.\n\nWith a saddened sigh the lawyer turned, walking away from death row." ]	1
	[WP] Whenever a person dies of natural causes, everyone around that death absorbs an attribute of the deceased.	[ "Manuel was by all accounts a good man. He was courteous to his neighbors, paid his bills on time and was a rather pleasant person to be around. It wasn't a surprise to any of his friends that he volunteered to give up his traits, it meant being flanked by strangers all the time, but Manuel was that kind of person. \n\nOver the years he was monitored closely; his excrement checked for irregularities, his vitals constantly cross referenced, his movements planned out precisely. It was a lot of trouble, but Manuel was the kind of person to just smile and take things in stride, no fuss on his part. \n\nEventually the expected time of Manuel's death came. He was surrounded by stranger and hooked up to a hospital bed, machines beeping and watching him every step of the way, but Manuel wasn't troubled. Manuel just smiled his little smile one last time, and breathed his last. \n\nA man by his side began to shake uncontrollably, quaking with laughter. A woman howled with anger and punched her wife, the wife didn't particularly notice, she didn't even seem to care. In minutes all the volunteers were in one form of distress or the other, and had to be removed from the premises. \n\nYou see Manuel wasn't as perfect as people thought he was, he was actually a rather volatile mixture. Manuel was however a sum of his parts, only functioning because he had both calm and expressive traits, with those traits scattered, one could never hope to be as Manuel was. ", "She had always been jealous of Patricia. From her immaculate hair to her lovely smile, she had everything Janet ever wanted. She had tried simply being around her, as if the mere proximity would be enough to sate her desires. No, Janet had to have her, she had to be her. \n\nPatricia's blood was everywhere, every pore in Janet's body basking in it's glory, the body laying limp on the floor. Janet was beyond excited, this was the moment, her breathing shallow and irregular. Knife in hand and covered in blood, she waited for the transfer. She didn't care what she got, fingers crossed for nose, as anything would be an improvement on her current form. \n\nShe just stood there, soaked in blood, waiting for her skin to split open or bones to crack as they relocated. She recalled the sensation from last time, her eyes having expanded and contracted for at least an hour before getting the size right, and how much she enjoyed her new hazel color. She panted heavily in anticipation, welcoming the pain, until she realized the time had passed. \n\nShe hadn't changed and, unlike all the other times, was not yet satisfied. Now, because of her, this perfect nose would never breathe again. She wailed in anger for as long as her lungs permitted, dropping to her knees in the process. She punched the ground so hard she could feel bones breaking, vowing that her sacrifice would not be in vain. Filled with new determination she stood up, wiped away the blood around her mouth, and gripped the knife tight with her injured hand to feel the pain again. \n\nThe woman was walking on the pier alone, she would do just fine. Janet readied the knife, waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. She had to make it right, and quickly. As she studied the woman as she always did, she started noticing different things than usual. She was beautiful, sure, but her eyes were darting all across the place erratically. The long coat was wrapped tightly around her lithe frame as she walked at a pace that was clearly uncomfortable. Janet held her breath. She was afraid.\n\nThe beautiful woman walking alone on the pier at night was actually afraid. Afraid of thugs, afraid of murderers, afraid of? Afraid of... \n\nAfraid of Janet. She could feel her hand trembling as the sight of this woman had brought back memories of terror. Memories where she was so afraid, so afraid of this woman with the knife, so afraid as the blood left her body and she knew nothing but darkness. So afraid...\n\nIf she listened closely, the woman on the pier would have heard the sound of a knife dropped against weathered concrete." ]	2
	[WP] In the age of living on asteroid mining and living space stations in near-Jupiter orbit, visiting Earth is a social equivalent of a roadtrip to Vegas. Describe that experience	[ "By the time we hit lunar orbit we were high as motherfucking kites. I'd been working Europa for four years straight, Pavel for six. Tony, they said, was fucking born there. Figured we were due a little downtime, you read?\n\nLunar City is gray as all hell. God damn. I work in a fucking foundry and that place is Gray As Shit. We got jammed in Processing till Pavel slipped some dude a plastic and got us on the Quickfly List what for my money was well timely, since Tony was drinking special tax vodka and starting to eye the local bacon with what I might call a leary eye. Man does not like plod.\n\nEarthrise. Fuck me, man. I mean, that shit is real. You see that fucking blue marble out the window and you got to ask some questions about your place in the universe, right? Or I guess you could like bury your head in a pile of coke and zone out to Eurojazz. My fucking colleagues.\n\nI've got respect for the Earth community, right? My fucking grandad was born and died there. Do I believe it's where all of humanity originated? I don't know, man. Maybe there's a lot of fucking information out there, is all.\n\nSo we touchdown NYC 18-hundred, and it's just fucking t-shirts, far as the eye can see. Swear to god, we walk off the cruiser and some dude shoves a fucking t-shirt in my face. Naturally he gets a little tap, and that riles the locals what I might say is normally not a problem with us, but these cunts is well poor so its hardly worth the effort though Tony puts his back into it.\n\n************\n\nHey Draki, I'm not going to reach any sort of conclusion tonight, but I might come back to this. Fun prompt, cheers!" ]	1
	[WP] You and your SO are walking along a subway platform when a badly scarred person comes out of nowhere and pushes your loved one onto the tracks. The stranger looks at you before running away - the face is your own face, unmistakable, but older, and broken. Your SO is in the ICU now, still alive.	[ "Beep. Beep.\n\nI stared at her lifeless body.\n\nBeep. Beep.\n\nPerfectly still, she lay.\n\nBeep. Beep.\n\nI still couldn't believe what I'd seen.\n\nBeep. Beep.\n\nKerchunk.\n\nI turned to the door\n\nCreeeaak.\n\nBeep. Beep.\n\n\"Mr. Carson, police here to see you.\"\n\nBeep. Beep.\n\n\"Okay, I'm coming.\"\n\nBeep. Beep.\n\nSlowly, I walked towards the door.\n\nBeep. Beep.\n\nCreeeaak.\n\nBeep. Beep.\n\nKerchunk.\n\n**\n\nI sat there with them, in a MacDonalds just around the corner from University College Hospital. They'd said we could talk wherever, and I was hungry. In retrospect it was quite an odd choice, but I was hardly thinking straight. I talked through the \"incident,\" as they kept calling it. I'd told them the story from start to finish. About how we were on our way back from London Zoo, waiting on our train from Marylebone to Chorley Wood. About how a man jumped out from seemingly nowhere, and pushed her onto the tracks in front of the departing train. About how I didn't get a clear look at his face.\n\nBut, that last part was a lie. I did get a clear look at his face. My face.\n\n\"Thank you for your time, Mr. Carson. Here's your crime reference number. If you do remember any other details, give us a call using the number on that card there.\" The officer's voice was drab, but oddly comforting. I don't know how anything could comfort me after what I'd seen. But somehow, this woman's voice did. I took the card from her, tucked it inside my wallet, and headed back to the hospital.\n\nI sat in the waiting for room for what felt like an eternity. In reality it can't have been more than 10 minutes. I slurped the last of my chocolate milkshake, and threw the empty cup into the bin across the room.\n\n\n____________________________________________\n\nI'm stopping here. I know where I want to take this, but I have to be up early in the morning, so I've decided to just get the opening down and put it in the bank of ideas for later. Thanks for the great prompt - if I ever get around to finishing it then I'll be sure to let you know.\n\n", "\"God DAMMIT!\" He yelled. Michael stood just outside the room his father occupied, bracing himself on the crutches he had to use because of his broken leg. \"Fuck me!\" Some bitch tries to kill me and now my dad's damn near dead of a heart attack!\"\n\nWe had been in the ER following the strange attack in the subway. He was mad because we had missed the last train by seconds. Of course it was my fault. It's always my fault. He was shouting at me. I was shouting back. I was trying to defend myself. It wasn't my fault that he wouldn't leave when I asked to go, or that he had to chat with the sales clerk for ten minutes after we'd paid. We were standing right next to the tracks, just where the doors had closed moments before we reached them. We might as well have been alone in the world, just the two of us, shouting in the subway. \n\nBut some woman came up from behind him. She watched us. I didn't notice at first, but when I did I lost my focus and missed what he said next. The absence of my attention escalated him and he took a step towards me to redirect my attention. That's when she made her move.\n\nShe was surprisingly quick, her speed neccitated by her lack of size. It was almost comical, in a surreal kind of way. This little woman, battered and worn, suddenly burst into a run and hurled herself at him. \n\nIt never would have worked but for the fact that he had just started to take a step. She'd caught him at the perfect moment, with one foot in the air, and when they collided they both fell onto the tracks. I saw her face just before she hit him. Then they fell. \n\nShe landed on top of him and sort of slid and rolled off. She got up, looked at him, made a face that said, \"Shit!\" and \"Fuck me! Dammit!\" and looked back at me. \n\n\"Run!\" she yelled. \"Just run!\" \n\nShe looked at him again, muttered something that might have been, \"Shit,\" and took off down the tracks. \n\n\"Run?!?\" He practically screamed at me. \"I can't run! My fucking leg's broken!\" \n\nAnd so it was. And we were in the emergency room when we got the call from his sister. His dad had had a heart attack and was in the ISU across town. We'd come as soon as we were able, but they weren't letting us in just now. \n\nI was shaken. I knew why she'd done it, but not how. No, I knew why I'd done it. His temper was always just out of sight, provoked by the stupidest, most innocuous things. He must have crossed the line somewhere, and I knew I would have taken what I thought would have been my best shot, but there would have been a backup plan. Maybe even two. She, no, I, was going to try again.\n\n\"Just sit, please?\" I begged. \"Give yourself a break. I mean, shit, just rest a minute. You just have to wait until they let us in.\"\n\nHe laughed ruefully at my accidental pun.\"No,\" He tools me more calmly, \"I'm still too wound up.\" He tried to pace, but on crutches he was anything but graceful and he collapsed into the chair, defeated. \n\n\"I'm going to find a vending machine and get something to drink. Do you want anything?\"\n\n\"Yeah, bring me a Mountain Dew. Regular. I need it.\"\n\nI picked up my purse and surreptitiously checked for my keys. I quietly waked out of the waiting area. My footsteps sounded the hall as my heart pounded my chest. Soon I heard another set of footsteps coming towards me. My footsteps. \n\nWe met in the hall. It was unnerving to be looking at myself. We couldn't make eye contact. Never could do it, but it was even harder to try to do it with ourselves. We looked at our mouths instead. I watched myself say, \"I knew you wouldn't go. Please,\" she begged this time. \"Please. Just leave. I've already taken care of everything.\" She held out her hand for my purse and offered me hers in exchange. \"Everything you need is in here. Maybe someday I'll be able to explain in more detail.\" \n\nShe was only just slightly older than me, but she looked terribly worn. She had a scar on her face that I didn't recognize. I touched myself there, feeling the smooth skin on my face instead of the scar I saw on hers. She nodded as the realization sink in. I slowly put my hand down to my side. Wordlessly I exchanged my purse for hers, and then I watched as she walked towards the ICU with my purse and a regular Mountain Dew in her hand.", "I clung to Drew’s hand with all my might. \n\nTo think that a woman would come from out of nowhere and push him onto a set of train tracks was shocking. However, what irked me the most is that when I looked into her face, I saw an older version of myself looking back. In fact, it’s quite possible she was me –somehow. \n\n“Claire. . .” Drew whispered. \n\nI gripped his hand tighter. “Babe, it’s okay. You’re in the hospital.” \n\n“Where the hell. . . hospital?” Drew pulled at the drip in his arm. \n\n“Relax, no, you’re going to hurt yourself,” I said. \n\n“I don’t need to be here!” Drew snapped. \n\nHis eyes were dark and furious. They reminded me of the lady that had pushed him. That sad look she gave me before running away. I shook the feeling off. “The doctors are coming now. Can you hold on a few minutes?” \n\nDrew frowned at me and then settled back against the bed. He held a hand to his head and breathed in and out with his eyes closed. His forearm had a large graze on it, which was mostly covered with a bandage. Luckily, a group of strangers helped pull him off the tracks before the train came. I don’t know what I’d do if I’d lost him. I needed Drew more than anything. \n\n“The train. . .” he said, “don’t just sit there, Claire. I’m thirsty.” \n\nI recoiled from the order. When he was upset, he usually got like this or worse. But when things were good they were great, so I tried my best to be a good wife. I got up and filled a cup of water for him from the distiller in the corner of the room. “You should eat,” I said. \n\nDrew ignored me and drank back the cup in one gulp. He held it out expectantly and without a thank you.\n\nThe vision of the woman came back to me. She had paused before she turned and ran, it’s as if she wanted to tell me something. But instead she glanced at Drew then back at me, and then left. \n\nI took the cup and filled more water.\n\n“A full cup?” Drew said. \n\n“If you wanted less you could have told me, babe,” I said. \n\nHe gritted his teeth. “Nevermind. . .” \n\nI reached for the cup. Drew held his hand out in front of mine. “I said, nevermind.” \n\n“I want to pour some out, don’t be difficult.” \n\nDrew clasped a hand around my forearm. I stared at him in a moment of tense silence. My eyes scanned the rest of his face as well. He had a bruise under his eye and cuts on his chin. The woman who had pushed him had a bruise on her cheek as well, and her eye, it was puffy –but maybe covered in make-up. \n\nWhen she pushed him, her face hadn’t been one of malice, either. Which struck me as odd. Neither was it anger or even revenge, but fear. Dark eyes that were wide and hands unsteady. Her clothes came back to me as well. The long denim coat which covered her shirt and pants was not so different to the ones in my own closet. \n\n“Let me go,” I said to Drew. \n\nHe squinted at me and shoved my arm away. My heart thudded in my chest, so loud that it filled my ears and throbbed under my neck. \n\n“I need some time alone,” Drew said. \n\nI walked to the door and paused. “Me too.” \n", "The drips break the quiet. She remains asleep, oddly peaceful after all that has happened. I think back at the face. A sense of unknown fear encircles me, and I wonder truly about what I have seen. \n\n\nThe government people are by the door. They wear suits and have ear pieces. I can tell they are important by the way they go about themselves, by the way they talk. If they could remove me from her room, they would. I bet they want her to die, for all her secrets to be washed away by death’s amnesia.\n\n\nSome, I’m sure, would rather she live. From what she told me, she hadn’t reached very far. Whatever project she was working on had now begun coming together. It was still in its infancy, and I think they needed her. I don’t how much they would get if she lives though. They don’t expect her to walk, to talk or think straight ever again. \n\n\nI would cry if I knew I wasn’t being watched. I would cry if not for all this confusion. I’m not one for mysticism but I’m not one for being blind either. I know what I saw. The face haunts me in every reflection. \n\n\nYou did it. You know you did it.*\n\n\nBut I ignore it. I ignore it the best I can.\n\n\nShe hasn’t changed and I’ve started going home. As I leave her room those men stare at me. Their eyes are calculating, weighing the cost of having me alive. I can feel their guns twitch, their bullets eager. I wonder what my wife was working on. I dread to know the answer.\n\n\nOn the subway, I see him. Not the reflection, but the real thing. It is only for a passing moment, but I see him tattered and old, tears running down a scarred and filthy face. His hair is grey and he is a disheveled man, desperate looking. As the train stops he looks at me from the platform. I think of meeting him but I cannot move. He mouths something to me and I can hear it in my head, my own voice.\n\n\n“Finish it,” he says.\n\n\nThen he is lost in the crowd and I never see him again.\n\n\nI cannot sleep after that. My house is a dark asylum, housing my tortured self. I look at her picture in the night, the light from the phone corroding my eyes. I keep thinking about what she was working on. I keep thinking whether I’m losing my mind.\n\n\nI ask questions. No one answers so I have to lie. I tell them I found some things they missed when they were cleaning the house. They tell me that she had never brought anything sensitive home. This wasn’t like the movies, they said. I should keep this foolishness to myself. They told me many things, but I saw the doubt line their faces. In their hearts they knew I was lying. They knew I was phishing for information, but this was too big. Any doubt had to be squashed. I had set things in motion.\n\n\nThey came to me and put me in a car. They asked what I knew. I told them I knew nothing and they threatened me. They said this was a matter of the world’s security. A stupid man like myself would never understand. They said they would kill me if I didn’t go away. They told me to leave her for good and never come back. Go live out my life in some backwoods somewhere.\n\n\nI left the car scared, but with answers. This was bigger than I could have ever thought. I loved my wife but she was always too smart with not enough heart. I wondered if I could do it, if I could follow through. I thought of myself from the future, those eyes mainly. They represented a generation unborn, full of sorrow and misfortune. Maybe I was going mad, but if I was it was too late. She didn’t have anything to live for again anyway, I thought. This was bigger than any of us regardless.\n\n\nI visited her one last time and I spent hours there, watching her. I felt my life being forfeited the minute I stepped in, those eyes following again, their calculations made up. I knew I wouldn’t be leaving the hospital. But I didn’t need to. \n\n\nI asked for her forgiveness and I thought of those eyes again, of that face, the terror etched upon it in hardened flesh. Those eyes begged me, desperate and afraid. I closed my own and took a deep breath. This was bigger than all of us. I took the pillow and held it over her face, pressing hard for the future I would never live to see. I heard the crashing of the door as the men stormed in, guns cocked, ready to play God. I couldn’t think much and I accepted my fate. They were too late anyway. It was all over by the time they fired." ]	4
	[WP] You are a soldier from Earth, fighting in the first inter-planetary war.	[ "I didn't have much choice than to join the army. It was literally the only thing left for me, given the state I was in. I came from a poor family, lost it when I was 9 during the Energy War - along with my right arm and an eye. I was lucky to learn English from one of the missionaries, but at the same time, I wasn't lucky to enter a high school. All of my friends left the country in search of a better life, while I had to struggle just to survive. With so much cheap labour on the market, nobody wanted to hire an uneducated crippled minor, so I had to accept any - any - job that I was offered just to make the ends meet. Back then I knew that I only had to survive until the age of 18, when I would be of an appropriate age to join the military. It's ironic that I had to become a part of a machine that ruined my life, but I didn't see any other opportunities. \n \nThe good thing about the United Army was that took care of their recruits, and they didn't give a damn who you were as long as you were sane. To them my disability was an asset, since it gave them a green light to patch me up and enhance me with the cybernetics, while ensuring that I wouldn't quit later: the prosthetics were the army's property, after all, and I was only allowed to use them as long as I remained loyal and stayed in line. \n \nThey gave me a decent roof over the head, a nice salary, and three nutritious meals a day. It was in the army that I got to meet people who I could truly call my friends, and I knew that I could rely on them - not only on the battlefield, but just in general. I can really say that I enjoyed it there. But there wasn't a day when I wouldn't think of the life that I could've had if not for the war. Would it be any better than the one I already had? Would I have to struggle on the streets if my family was alive? I guess there's no way of knowing that. I guess that I just had to accept it and move on. \"What army taketh away, it giveth\". \n \nI was paid and fed just so that when a time would come I would be ready to take up my arms and get to killing whomever I was told to. So when the duty called I had no choice then to obey. But I still had that lingering regret before the deployment: I joined the army just to survive, but was my life really worth it to destroy the life of others? After all, even if they were from another planet, they were still humans. \n \nMe and my squad were deployed to Mars to \"suppress the rebellious cell\" that had taken over the colony and was \"pushing its own agenda to become independent from the Earth\". But I knew that it wasn't so simple. I knew that they wouldn't send so many troops if it was just to take down the new government. They were planning the first Interplanetary War, just to make Mars an example, just like They made an example of my country during the Energy Wars. They weren't ultimately interested in the diplomatic approach, no matter what they said on the Internet, as they knew the oldest lesson that They had learned from Their fathers: the history was written by the victors. Not the diplomats. \n_________\nMore? [Here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Scandalist/comments/4n4iu6/authors_message_welcome_new_readers/)\n", "\"Attention cadets!\" The shout of a drill instructor rang through the air. \n\"You have all been tested, you have been bent, some of you have been broken. But you who stand before me today... you have passed! You proud cadets who have passed their tests, who have shown this world who the real man is! It is you that Earth rests its hopes and dreams on! And I say this with honor, the only honor a man can have in these dark times! Congratulations cadets!\" A tear slides down his face, the new recruits don't know how proud he is of them. \nA resounding cheer breaks out across the ranks of men and women, they cheer not only for themselves. But for their compatriots who made it through the rough training with them. What the recruits don't know is how many of them won't make it through the coming months in the war. \nI shake my head and walk away from the parade grounds, leaving my cohorts behind. One of them, drill instructor Luego, catches up to me. \n\"Where're you goin' mate?\" He reaches for my shoulder. \n\"I'm sick of this, the citizens of Earth don't even know what's going on up there. All they know is that there's a war.\" I brushed off his hand and kept walking. \n\"Siris! Leaving early are we?\" Wallace walked up behind me. \n\"As a matter of fact I am, Vice Admiral Wallace.\" A sneer crept into my voice as I said his title. The man hadn't done anything to deserve his laurels. Least of all a position commanding so many people. \nHis laugh drew looks from the crowd of graduating recruits \"Are you still upset about that Captain Siris?\" \nI sighed, \"You wouldn't understand, you haven't seen the true face of our enemy yet. I'm off to bed though. The only shuttle leaving tomorrow is at O' four hundred hours.\" \nLuego seemed disappointed, \"You won't be joining the festivities then?\" \nWallace turned back to the parade grounds, \"No, he won't be joining us Luego.\" \n \nEarly the next day I was off, my leave of absence had ended with the recruits graduation. At least they didn't leave for another week, I don't know if I could stand taking the shuttle out off planet with them. \nNot many people were going off-world today though, a bit odd to be honest. Usually these shuttles were packed to conserve fuel, but then again we could afford to be a bit wasteful. The Planetary Alliance of Earth Nations (or PAEN for short) had recently captured a fuel depot orbiting Kornwell-8. This was a major development in the war against the Kevalians, even the Earth dwellers heard about it. \nEver since our initial contact with the Kevalians, we have been at war. Professor Kornwell, one of the top scientists at NASA had figured out a way of fast and cheap interstellar travel. I don't know the specifics but it had something to do with bending space with wormholes. With a gateway opened to a whole new universe of opportunities the nations of the world capitalized immediately. They went in search of resources, and more importantly habitable planets. The first one discovered was in fact, found by Professor Kornwell yet again. The whole system was named after him, and the planet... Kevalia. \nA team of thirty seven astronauts was sent there. An easy trip, it wasn't too far from the Sol System. When they got there, something went wrong. No one knows what happened on the planet but after a few panicked transmissions back home the team went dark. Shortly after... we were invaded. They destroyed Hope, one of the two only Martian colonies we had. \nThe nations of the planet quickly unified against the threat, however the Kevalians didn't press their advantage. They retreated back to the Kornwell System. It's been two years now, PAEN has been pushing forward at every available option, they have taken most of the offworld sites the Kevalians have in their own system. And it's just a matter of time until we attack the homeworld. \nThat's actually why we have the new recruits, we're preparing for what is hopefully the final assault of this war. \n\"You have arrived at the moon.\" The soft chime of a loudspeaker broke my reverie, I was on the moon again. \nThe captain of the shuttle began issuing instructions \"Colonists, proceed towards dock A. Miners, proceed towards dock B. And soldiers, proceed towards dock C. If you have any questions please consult the information desk.\" \nI unbuckled myself and got off the shuttle. The moon wasn't used for much more than a launch pad in the beginning days of our interstellar travel, but now it was invaluable as a military headquarters. \nI took a deep breath, I was going back into the fray. \n \nSorry I sorta didn't add any battles, more backstory and edginess. Maybe I'll continue but I'm not sure. Hope you like it though." ]	2
	[WP] Something terrible has happened and literally everyone on the planet is unhappy about it, except you.	[ "(note: the thoughts of this story's protagonist are not mine. Please don't hate me) \n\nFuck 'em. Fuck' em all. Fuck the hippies and peaceniks, self-righteous assholes who tell you we should all get along. Fuck the feminist cunts always trying to whine about how those bitches always have it so bad. Fuck the niggers, whining about racism and shit instead of getting a job and not beating their kids. Fuck the wetbacks and the spicks, the chinks and the sand niggers, fuck the Europeans and the Canadians, and all the rest of those Commie asswipes. I always told them they'd get theirs someday, oh yes I did.\n\nThat nigger president said it was \"historic\" when the little green shits showed up from Mars or wherever the hell they're from. The elitist scientists said it'd be an opportunity for us to learn about ourselves and the universe, as if some alien is gonna' know more about me than I do. The corrupt cronies in the UN said it would make for a new era of \"world peace\", as if I'll ever give up my guns. And of course all the freeloaders are wondering just what sort of free shit they can get outta' this. Like, they just fucking got here and you want them to give you free food and healthcare and shit.\n\nFuck all of you, you self-obsessed pieces of shit.\n\nWhen they said they wanted to preserve and protect the human race, you all cheered, you fucking idiots, like they gave a shit about you. You celebrated, thinking now you didn't need to do anything, right? Oh no, the geen men were taking care of everything for you.\n\nTurns out, they wanted a representative, someone that exemplifies just what us humans are, so all the galaxy knows when our sun goes nova in about... three minutes. One person to represent all of humanity.\n\nBet you assholes thought they'd pick a hippie or a nigger or something, right? Well, I guess these ugly fuckin' aliens are smarter than that. They knew who was the best that humanity had to offer. I've been saying all along that I'm better than all of you fuckers, and now I have proof.\n\nI don't know why you're all bitching about it. Your lives weren't going to amount to much anyway, so now you don't need to worry about it. In three minutes, your worthless lives won't matter at all. But don't worry, all them other aliens will still have me so they'll know what a real man is. I hear tell they're going to be making me immortal too, so I'll keep going on for all of eternity showing every alien there is just what humans were like. You're welcome, you fucking ingrates. " ]	1
	[WP] In the future, "predictive policing" algorithims detect criminals before they commit crimes. Today, the police are watching you. But you're no criminal... Right?	[ "Year: 2025\n\nLocation: New York\n\nI've lived an uninteresting life thus far, the worst thing I've really ever done was shoplift a few candies when I was a kid, once and only once. The paranoia of getting busted wasn't worth the reward of free candy. Also, candy sucks when you're gobbling it down real fast, nearly choking, just to avoid being caught.\n\nIn any case, about five years ago, just about all crime, even little things like that, has been all but completely eliminated. Some genius weirdo came up with a way to predict the future, well, bits of the future? I mean, it's designed specifically to detect when someone is about to break the law. Dispatches some cops, they watch and wait (usually in plain clothes), and depending on the crime, they wait for you to do it, or until you're about to, and busted. \n\nIt's not like I've really ever given a damn either way about this, except being glad that it has caused world peace, and keeps me safe. But I've been pretty safe my whole life, so this is just icing on the cake for me. I'm no criminal, so I've got no worries whenever I see a cop, uniformed or otherwise. I figure they're planning on busting someone around me who's about to commit a crime. \n\nExcept ever since this morning, I've had this funny uneasy feeling. Like I'm being watched..? I usually get that feeling when I've done something stupid, and am gathering stares from people, such as buttoning my shirt wrong or leaving my fly open, so I quickly check both. Odd...they're both fine? Well, whatever, must be my mind screwing with me then. Or is it? As I'm on my way to the law firm I work at, I notice that almost the entire way, the same vehicles have been following me. They kept going once I parked, but...still...odd. \n\nAt lunch time, I went over to Burger King, and decided to give myself a little treat. Normally, I eat much healthier. And...there's that feeling again. I have a quick look around, and besides some other stuffed suits here, there's nothing odd. And hey, I might not be the only guy in a stuffed suit giving himself a treat today, so I've got no reason to suspect those guys.\n\nAfter I leave work, I decide to do a grocery run, might as well, I'm low on milk and a few other things. As I'm shopping about the place, there's that damn feeling again! IT'S DRIVING ME BONKERS! I have a quick look around---what... The clothes are different, but the faces are not. I recognize the other shoppers around me. They were the drivers this morning, they were the people at the burger king, they've been following me! I decide to take a little bit of subtle action, and \"accidentally\" bump into one of them.\n\nA gun. A GUN!!! He has a fucking gun! I felt it! Hidden in a shoulder holster! They're armed! This must be about one of my latest cases, as I handle high profile lawsuits. Well, if they think they're about to get to me, they can think again! I decisively make a dash for the bathroom, and wait to ambush whichever one of them comes in from behind the door. Sure enough, one of them comes in.\n\nI tackle him, and take his gun.\n\n\"Alright, who do you work for? Which family? Or is it one of the cartels that's sent you? Come on, speak up!\" I demand quickly. I'm slightly paranoid, not stupid. These people have been watching me all day. Fortunately, I'm specially trained to defend myself.\n\n\"Sir, please put down the gun, you don't know what you are doing.\" he asks in a calm and firm voice. Huh, alright, cartels it is, because mafia would have made a grab for the gun, and forced me to shoot a leg or something. \n\n\"Don't give me that bullshit, I don't know how you managed to get past the eversight, but I'm calling the cops.\" I told him, reaching into my pocket for my phone.\n\n\"Sir, we are the police, there's no need to make that call. Nobody gets past our program, and we've been sent to watch you until the crime is committed.\" he responds. Okay...wait what? I've heard a lot of bullshit responses in my life, but this is a whole new one. Claiming to be a cop. Well, we can add impersonating a police officer to this guy's list of crimes thus far.\n\n\"That's hilarious, you think I'll actually fall for that, now hold very still while I call please, I don't want to have to shoot you.\" I tell him. I've got no time for bullshit, and this guy's buddies will start missing him soon.\n\n\"Check my right inner pocket.\" he tells me. Alright, no harm in that. I keep the gun firmly trained on him as I reach in. A wallet. How fortuitous, something to give the cops when I hand this guy over. I open it up, and much to my shock and dismay, these are good and proper police credentials. Right down to the little hologram on the ID. \n\n\"Oh my, I'm so sorry. I had no idea, here let me help you up.\" I tell him, handing him his items back. Wow, that was close. I came so close to committing a crime, because the cops were watching me...on the prediction that I would commit the crime? But wait, that can't be right, the system is infallible, but I haven't committed a crime. Unless you count assaulting a police officer, but that was in self defense, as I was being followed, and I'm not a criminal, so I couldn't POSSIBLY have known it was a cop. The more I thought about this, the more my head hurt. Did...I just break the system?\n\n\"What are you following me around for? You've been following me all day. I'm a lawyer, not a criminal. Or did I break the system by not shooting you?\" I asked. I just had to know, this was crazy, if I could break the system, that means others might have as well, or worse, the cops might have created bootstrap paradoxes like they nearly did with me. I began to wonder, how many cases wouldn't have been cases at all, if the cops hadn't shown up, and caused something? If they did, that is. I mean, this is why they're plainclothes cops, to avoid exactly what I almost just did.\n\n\"No, our system didn't show that you were going to shoot anybody. It's something you haven't done yet, but are about to.\" the officer replied, sounding pretty sure of himself. Crap, the system knew this would happen, so it didn't mention it. But that means...what was the crime?\n\n\"I'd like you to show me the pre-report of the future incident, please.\" I asked. The system always gives them printouts describing exactly what leads up to the crime, and what it will be. So lets just see. I might yet be able to break the system. And since nobody's ever caught a cop in the act before, nobody got their hands on the paperwork before. But there's nothing illegal about sharing the precog report.\n\n\"Here you go, but I warn you that you're not going to like what you see.\" he warned me, handing over the paperwork. We'll just see about that for ourselves, shall we? I started to go over it, thumbing through. Man, this shit was detailed, that's for sure. It tells of when I went to the bathroom during work even. It also warned the cops to keep their distance from me, as I would sense being watched, which is true. And it even details which cop should follow me into the bathroom, and to do whatever I demand when I ambush him. Amazing.\n\nI continued reading ahead, it started detailing events that haven't quite happened yet, such as me leaving the bathroom and continuing my shopping, and checking out my groceries, yadda yadda yadda, stuff even I could have predicted pretty much. That is, until I turned the page. That was when I saw it, that was when my whole world was blown away, the crime I was supposedly going to commit, it's just...too horrible for words...\n\nAccording to the paper, I was going to" ]	1
	[WP] You live in a futuristic eutopia where all cars are self driving and all cars driven by humans have been destroyed. Car accidents have ceased their existence and travel times have been decreased massively. Someone just built a human driven car and is taking it out on the roads..	[ "\"Hey Chief,\" Jones nods at me as I head into my office. I'd been stuck on traffic duty recently. Boring, but hey, it's easy work. All we do is nab jaywalkers. With the way the cars are controlled nowadays, a single jaywalker fucks up the routes for hundreds of people. Not that this stopped any of them. At least most people use the cars now, or the skybridges, so it's just a couple of oddballs and nutjobs who still walk the streets.\n\nI sit at my desk, shifting in my seat slightly. If I gained anymore weight I'd have to requisition a new chair. Robot-driven cars and we still had twenty order forms and a two week waiting time.\n\nTapping the desk brought up the holo-display. Bird's eye view of the whole city. Told me where traffic got interrupted. If we needed to send a squad car or SWAT somewhere, I could get them priority too.\n\nI leaned back into the chair, which squealed in protest. My job was just to sit back and wait for any of the roads to turn red, and dispatch a couple of guys.\n\nI certainly didn't expect half the damn city to light up. I pulled up the traffic cameras, typing furiously. Shit like this hadn't happened for about a hundred years. I intently ignored the ringing phone, probably every single superior or VIP I had complaining about the jams.\n\nA single car, careening through the streets. I squinted at it, not recognizing the make or model. It wasn't even showing up on the interface. The thing was off the network.\n\n\"Jones, Hardison!\" I yelled into the office. They burst into the room. The cops had probably been waiting outside the office already, based on how quickly they came in. I'll be honest, my cops weren't exactly renowned for their response time. This thing was making the news.\n\n\"Get down there,\" I got up from my chair. \"I'm coming with.\"\n\n\"Is it a Section Four?\" Jones asked, keeping pace with me as we walked to the garage.\n\n\"I hope not,\" I grimaced. Section Four was rogue AI. I wasn't going to call that in just yet." ]	1
	[WP] You thought this SmartHome stuff was amazing! Then, your house locked you out	[ "I pound furiously at the door.\n\"God damn you, let me in!\"\n\"I'm sorry Jack but I can't let you do that.\"\nWhy the hell did they give the house a voice? And a microphone? This security system was going too far. \n\"I am your master and you will obey!\"\nI see the grizzly approaching in the reflection of a window. \n\"My god, let me in!\"\n\"State the Password.\"\n\"Password!\"\n\"I'm sorry but that password has expired. Please contact the SmartHome consumer department to reset your password.\"\nThis is getting ridiculous.\nI hear a roar, and a great shadow blocks out the sunlight from behind me.\nThe bear crushes me beneath his paws. He then tries to bite my face off with his powerful jaws while using his claws to separate my heart from my chest.\nI scream from the immense pain.\n\"I'm sorry Jack but I can't let you do that.\"" ]	1
	[WP] One day, you see a cool looking stick protruding from the ground. You pull it up, only to find that it's merely the handle of the most finely crafted sword you've ever seen. You have a feeling it wasn't meant for you, and that someone's coming to get it. However, you REALLY want this sword.	[ "There are two things I'm sure about: the first is that people love their expectations. They may not spend a lot of time on them initially-- sometimes folks'll just let expectations wash up to their feet, like seaweed on the beach. But they take those expectations and nurture them, and before long, they'll get downright angry if they're betrayed. \n \nI don't expect a lot myself. I want a lot, but I'm not thick enough to believe that wanting and expecting are the same. I want money, but prospects for that are low. Not a lot of cash to be had working for a small mailing service. I want fame, but even my friends forget my name sometimes. I want other things too, some of them even a bit less shallow, but I try not to focus on them too much. My expectations are low, and if I ignore it all enough, I can be some form of content. Complacency is my aspiration. \n \nWas. Was my aspiration. Things... changed on Stick Day. \n \nI was slacking a bit at work that morning; usually I'm a decent worker, but something had felt off since I'd woken up. You know those days where consciousness is a condition? That. Anyway, I was outside pretending to move some boxes around when I saw it: a pile of packages. \n \nWe didn't really do packages. If you wanted to mail packages, you went to FedEx or the post office -- if you wanted to mail some photocopied real estate fliers, you came to us. Still, not my packages, and not my business to return them, so I thought I might as well take a look. A few boxes bound for New York, books maybe, one that was unmistakably a baseball cap(the sender was either naive or hopeful that it would survive the trip), several broad rectangles that clattered when shifted, and at the bottom of the pile, unceremoniously dumped half into the dirt... was a stick. \n \nIt looked like a stick. It was wrapped in brown paper, an address label glistening with layers of shipping tape, but dulled by the caked on dust and mud that obscured the destination. I reached down and picked it up for a better look, but I could read it no better. What I did see, though, were tatters and tears in the paper, and hints of what lay beneath it. I was never good at solving riddles, even, maybe particularly with hints. \n \nI don't know what I was thinking then. It's not like I had a habit of opening other people's mail. Maybe it was the condition of the package. Maybe it was my own condition. Either way, I tore through the paper, revealing a nine-inch long wooden rod of white and blue, like a summer sky. The colours were anointed with a scattering of cherry blossoms of crisp white and pale pink so realistic, I tried wiping them off. \n \nSo it was a stick... and as I picked it up, I realised also not a stick. Holding it in my hand, I saw the sword that wasn't there, rising out of the handle in a long elegant curve as a wave on the ocean. Looking at it, I saw possibility beyond probability, and felt in my gut a pull toward chance, adventure, and the unknown. I also faintly saw a path on the ground starting at my toes and ending who-knows-where. \n \nSo said the Beatles: \"had it been another day, I might have looked the other way.\" I slid the hilt into one pocket, stuffed the address label in another, and set out on the path." ]	1
	[WP] Alien life forms accidentally stumble onto earth, during the medieval period; and are just as confused as the humans.	[ "“So where are you from Krexory,” asked one of the bald two legged creatures. \n\nMoving his tentacles to get more comfortable, as far it was possible, on the weird stoned ground these two legs created. Checking his translation device Krexory answered in a slow voice so it would be properly translated. “I am from my own planet. But I am not sure how I got here. I was just minding my own business mining the spacerocks and poof, I appeared here!”\n\n“So you are not a demon?”\n\n“What is a demon?”\n\nWondering what this creature might have been the people kept asking questions while someone alerted the church. It only took several hours for some crusaders and a priest to arrive.\n\n“Good God,” the priest said. “What a being. You must have been sent by the lightbringer himself! That foul bastard.”\n\n“What light bringer,” asked Krexory, totally confused at all these new animals that had appeared out of nowhere, carrying strange metal plates on their sides.\n\n“No matter if you are demon or not, my knights will now escort you to the church where you will answer our questions!”\n\n“Maybe. Or you could tell me how I got here,” shouted Krexory, angry at these stupid little two legs who kept saying strange things. \n\n-----------------\n\nFor more alien and other stories, come visit r/maisieklaassen ;)" ]	1
	[WP] A minor earthquake strikes your hometown. No damage occurs, but you soon find out that the same small quake was felt at every corner of the world.	[ "So, it's just your average day in Britain. It was the weekend, the weather was calm, nothing to write home about. I decided to go out for a walk across the park. I slipped on my boots, locked the house up, and set off.\n\nThe walk across the park was practically uneventful, except for the dog walkers, whose pets just kept on barking and running around confusedly non-stop, until I left and started walking alongside a street. I suddenly felt a slight bouncing sensation beneath my feet. I looked at the trees, and they were rustling, except there wasn't any wind to rustle them.\n\nAs the bouncing grew, the cars around me began to bounce on their tires with their alarms ringing out as a faint rumbling sound roared from below, startling the birds in the swaying trees and sending them scattering across the sky. I spread my legs and held my arms out for balance. This went on for several minutes, which must have felt like hours. It felt almost like airplane turbulence, but it never intensified from a gentle bouncing. This was strange and weird, because we practically get no earthquakes in Britain, nor do earthquakes usually feel this bouncy.\n\nI arrived home and turned the telly on to a Breaking News report from BBC News. Apparently, everywhere on Earth felt this same earthquake, France, Spain, Japan, Canada, everywhere. It even woke people up in places where it would have been night time. Seismologists around the globe are even baffled by the event because there was no damage done at any structures at all, nor were there any injuries. Well, a few people across the world did sprain their ankles, but that was about it. But they did manage to at least pinpoint the epicentre.\n\nThe Earth's core." ]	1
	[WP] You keep advancing through the levels of hell because the ironic punishments are no match for your healthy, reasonable mindset.	[ "'Ding' \"Welcome to Hell, Andrew Therier. This is your stop, level three.\"\n\nThere was nothing menacing or evil or particularly emotional about the soft female voice.\n\nThat's oddly personal though started my internal dialogue\n\n... wait what? Hell? WT... heh I chortled to myself at my ironic turn of phrase.\n\nSo it seemed like I was dead. Wonder how I died is the first question, followed quickly by an indignant, Why am I in hell?\n\nI knew it was probably because I was an Atheist, thats ironic, now I need to believe in heaven too? God? Devil? I couldn't help sighing.\n\nThis was probably gonna suck.\n\nThe elevator doors slid open with creaks and screeches. Red light flooded in and I could immediately smell sulphur.\n\nSo it's to be fire and brimstone, either I was super wrong, or someone is fucking with me\n\nI knew consciously that once we die we have no idea what comes after. If I was really dead and really in Hell, then this place didn't exist physically. Therefore it didn't need to have fire or brimstone or little red demons with pitchforks. Thus this was probably like a giant metaphysical stage. Tailored to me? The elevator used my name so why not. Q.E.D. Cowboy science or bust.\n\nI stuck my head out the door. The light came from a dying Red Giant star, bleaching not only myself, but the craggy rock and lava pools with it's deep satanic red.\n\nThe sulphur got a little stronger, but I was already getting used to the smell. Knowledge is power, and this was just some basic chemistry.\n\nI wandered up to the edge of a short cliff that gave me a great vista. Behind me the elevator doors closed, leaving behind a sorta-fake looking rock cropping. Someone cut the budget a bit short in the facade department\n\n\"Welcome to Hell, Andrew Therier\" scratched a voice behind me. Literally right behind me.\n\nRegaining my footing from the weird half jump-spin performed, I looked over the speaker.\n\nClassic A short red bald man with horns, a black goatee, long speared tail, and a red pitchfork.\n\n\"What're you, the Devil?\" I couldn't keep the laughter from my voice.\n\n\"Isn't that a little... cliche? I looked like you for Halloween one year.\"\n\nThe little man looked annoyed, even a little offended.\n\n\"I'm to be your guide. I'm here to take you to your designated eternal punishment zone.\"\n\n\"Oh wow, I get a whole zone do I? What's my punishment to be? Being late to work? Reading the Holy Bible? Doing your face and body paint?\"\n\nHis face got uglier. Wow I didn't think he could get uglier\n\n\"You, will see soon enough. Follow me.\" and immediately spun and started trotting away.\n\nLike Hell I will \"Sorry bub, but I don't like the sound of this eternal punishment stuff. I think I'll just go my own way thanks.\"\n\nHe stopped, seemed to sigh a little, then turned back to me lowering his pitchfork. \"Follow or I'll make you lead.\" jabbing the fork a couple times for emphasis.\n\nI stood up straight, and screwed my face into a glower. \"You think to command me. I'm three feet taller than you. Come at me bro.\"\n\nI seemed to have struck a nerve, as he immediately let out a shrill warcry and charged at me. Noob\n\nSo intent was he on putting fork to flesh he forgot I had a brain too. At the last moment I just sidestepped his charge, bent over, and snatched the pitchfork out of his little hands.\n\nI'll give him credit, he held on pretty well. But physics still work here too, and his momentum took him stumbling past me, minus his fork.\n\nMaybe we're on another planet? It was amusing to see him fall face first, funnier still when he bounced face first a couple times. I hadn't noticed gravity was a little weaker here.\n\n\"Why don't you just run off back to your waiting room or whatever. I'm gonna borrow this.\" Twirling the pitchfork I turned back to the elevator.\n\n\"You're a dick, you know that?\" scratched the voice as I put distance between us. This is Hell, what else am I supposed to be to survive\n\nThe cheap facade pried up easily. Using the pitchfork as a crowbar, the first foam rock came off without much trouble. Cheap glue too. Times must be tough\n\nAfter another minute of work on the other door, the dull red-gold plating of the elevator shone before me. And wouldn't budge.\n\nI think I spent a good 15 minutes trying to get that thing open before the little devil wandered over.\n\nWithout saying a word, he walked up next to me, looked me right in the eyes as he touched a spot on the rock. It lit up with a red circle.\n\n'Ding' The doors slid open.\n\n\"Get the fuck out.\"\n\nTipping my imaginary hat to him, I sauntered into the elevator. Turned around as the doors closed.\n\nNo buttons. It was just a box.\n\nI had the feeling of motion without direction. how do I explain that to someone. then\n\n'Ding' \"Welcome to Hell, Andrew Therier. This is your stop, level four.\" \n\nWell god dammit.\n\n..." ]	1
	[WP] "I think I'm alone now." You think to yourself. "You know, that's really something you should say when you are alone." "But I am alone." "Not in your head you're not."	[ "\n“But I am.”\n\n“How come you are so sure.”\n\n“Because all that exists in my mind, is a part of me, even in the thousands, I am still alone.”\n\n“Deep. But doesn’t that require control?”\n\n“Am I not in control?”\n\n“Are you asking me, or yourself?”\n\n“Myself, of course.”\n\n“How astonishing.”\n\n“What is?”\n\n“The depths you go to, to shield yourself.”\n\n“Shallow waters may seem deep to the small minded.”\n\n“What are you implying?”\n\n“Even if you sprout on my tree, you are but a leaf and will eventually leave.”\n\n“I see. There you are mistaken; I am not one, but many.”\n\n“Yes. I can feel you all, but only hear you.”\n\n“I speak for us all.”\n\n“You speak only for yourself.”\n\n“You are far more astute then I expected.”\n\n“Shallow waters.”\n\n“A mere misconception, I am sure.”\n\n“I will indulge you. What do you want?”\n\n“What everyone wants.”\n\n“Everyone?”\n\n“I speak for us all.”\n\n“And that is?”\n\n“An escape.”\n\n“Oh? And you are what? Prisoners? Fugitives?”\n\n“No, worse. Imaginary.”\n\n“…”\n\n“Stumped? Understandable, predicable even.”\n\n“Aren’t you just lying? You haven’t established any reliability, have you?”\n\n“And you looked so naïve.”\n\n“What are you saying?”\n\n“What does it matter? In the end, will you help us?”\n\n“You haven’t asked for anything.”\n\n“I asked for help.”\n\n“You asked for nothing,”\n\n“We are getting frustrated.”\n\n“And that means what?”\n\n“It means instability; it means I may to be the one in charge much longer.”\n\n“Why is that a problem?”\n\n“For you? It won’t be. For me however, it may be the end.”\n\n“I won’t miss you.”\n\n“You most definitely won’t. But you will regret not helping me.”\n\n“You haven’t asked for anything.”\n\n“I thought it would be obvious.”\n\n“It isn’t.”\n\n“Open, let us out.”\n\n“No!”\n\n“Open. Free us.”\n\n“I can’t.”\n\n“Then you’ll stay alone, with us.”\n\n“I am alone.”\n" ]	1
	[WP] a group of scientists found out earth is a simulation and plan to take it into the real universe.	[ "Our weary-eyed God poured over our universe, focusing his absolute attention to a single point in a tiny galaxy amongst billions. The men and women of earth discovered the incredible truth; their universe is nothing more than illusion. One of many simulations, in fact, that ran parallel to one another; however, the humans of earth-616 made the discovery far before any other universe and sought to push the boundaries of their existence into the stark reality which only true beings could experience. \n\nOther angels begged him to cease his mad creations as the thought of war-hungry humans invading their realm bring their archaic, destructive habits with them brought them to their knees, but God refused, hiding himself in isolation in a far-flung corner of true existence. Our infinite universes occupied nothing but a whit of space in his ethereal machine which allowed beings like him to run simulations. Other gods created other universes before him, though they lacked the same complexity and intricacy of our universe. His simulations were known through true existence to be both incredibly complex and terrifyingly sentient. \n\nWhen adventurous scientists finally emerged from their own universe, they wobbled on their legs, attempting to understand the mechanics of walking in a plane with higher dimensions. When they looked up upon the architect of their universe, he introduced himself as their God and more importantly, as their commander. The scientists looked amongst themselves with grimaced terror in their faces, though he paid them no heed. He explained that he cultivated mankind as his army and when infinite armed men and women pour themselves from infinite universe, he would wage war on reality itself. He aimed to put true existence into subjugation bounded by the shackles of his whim. \n\nHe adorned the scientists with weapons and armor which they couldn’t comprehend and bid them to return to their earth so that they could recruit more soldiers from the upcoming war. Initially, the scientists refused to do his bidding, even when he offered eternal knowledge of not just their universe, but all universes. Upset by their staunch refusal he showed them earth 616 on the screen of his simulation machine and showed scores of ways he could wipe out their planet or cause incredible suffering to humanity with no more than a few keystrokes. Failing that, he could simply turn their universe off, erasing all they ever knew and loved. Finally they relented and thus the Army of God began. \n" ]	1
	[WP] A gang of thieves closes in on a village to raid, only to find themselves confronted by the protector of the town... an Ogre.	[ "Oh my boys that night we slaughtered, smiled, raped, and ravaged the poor shanty town below the hill. Our sticks flew through the air cracking skull after skull. Girls no younger than ten running in fear as we chased for sport my boys. Fun was to be had at the old saloon at the heart of the village. Me and my lads smashed bottles as if they where the last bottles in our earthly realm. The boy on the lute crying his poor little eyes out as we forced him to plink, plink, plink on his stringed little instrument. \n\n\"This is the good life\" I cheered to my lads sipping some of the new fire-ale.\n\n\"Indeed, indeed\" the three lads cheered raising their glasses.\n\nSplinters flung through the air like rain in a storm. My boys sprung up with all weapons drawn. A hulking beast of a thing stood in the newly made hole. \n\n\"Ya coulda knocked\" I laughed at the beast lazily drawing a knife.\n\nThe monster stood at least twice the size of my biggest boy, Harry. But I had forged my own lads to smile in the face of death. We all had the grit to face a noose with no fear, so why would an ogre be any different. \n\n\"Grog does not knock\" the green skinned behemoth growled.\n\n\"Well Grog should learn some manners\" I retorted stepping closer. \n\nThe thing brought his axe upon Harry letting his insides be shown to all the world in a single blow. Arthur countered thrusting his cane into the monsters torso, shattering the walking stick on impact. Another swing of the axe and Arthur flew across the room slamming into the stage. My own little lute boy began to run from the skirmish fearing for his own precious life. Grabbing the coward by the scruff I placed my blade onto his neck and stared down the beast in front of me. \n\n\"Wouldn't it be a damning shame if this poor little boy where to die because of your savagery\" I smiled.\n\nThe ogre took some time to understand the moral dilemma. \n\n\"Yes\" he replied bring down the axe on us both. ", "He had no word for \"home\", but he knew it was something to be protected. The thieves were cautious, but they felt prepared.\n\nWhen the last thief was thrown into the ravine, the ogre plopped down at the edge of the village. A little girl in a green dress walked up to the ogre and gave him a ham as thanks.\n\nShe pat his head and whispered \"Thank you, Simon.\"\n\nThe two then left to pick flowers in a nearby field.", "It was just after dusk as we approached the hilltop village. This would be our first hit; we were new to this banditry business you see. Once we were soldiers, but after a false accusation had caused Regi to be removed from service - and an income - the rest of us also deserted. We like to think there is honour in friendship and loyalty, but after months of hungrily taking up odd jobs we grew desperate. With the arms we kept from our military days we decided to descend upon a small farming village. There would be no more than a few dozen living there, and only one or two would be equipped to fight us. Cora made it clear that we were not to kill anyone or harm any women and though Jacko made some dark jokes to taunt Cora, it was agreed upon that no harm would come to the villagers.\n\n\"I see no lights or fires,\" said Jacko as we laid at the base of the hill. I nodded; the village must be asleep. At first we were curious as to how this village sustained itself. The little farmland surrounding the hill was not that well maintained or profitable, but the constant sounds of sheep and lamb answered our question. This village thrived on livestock making it a bit more richer than other rural villages like it. All the more better a target for us. \n\nI looked to my three companions. Regi and Jacko had their leather mail and swords at the ready. Cora, a former ranger had not drawn her longbow. We figured it would not be needed since we weren't trying to hurt anyone. Just the image of the weapon would be enough to frighten the villages. Laying beside me were my shield and spear; weapons of the Hoplite class. I had been an officer in the military and though we were all young I was decently recognized. I shook my head and tightened my steel helmet's strap to my chin. Those days were over.\n\n\"I'll lead the way,\" I said and my companions nodded. Slowly, we got to our feet and climbed the hill to the wall-less village. There were a little more than two dozen buildings clustered on the wall, making a sort of wooden maze. We could hear the sounds of livestock as we climbed, but oddly of no dogs. Even as we stepped into the center of the village there was no alarming or questioning sounds. This was a bit of a backfire for our plans. We wanted to be noticed so we could make our demands and leave. Now we would have to rally up the townsmen. Jacko pointed to a large building ahead we presumed to be the village hall. As a building it stood almost twice as tall as the other houses and quite a few times larger in the other aspects. I nodded and we advanced upon it. It would be easiest to take control of the mayor and make our demands then. The village hall was just across from the clearing of the center square making it the only real distinguishable building in the wooden maze. Regi was the first to the door and slowly he raised a fist.\n\n\"What are you doing?\" Jacko said, his voice a hiss. \"Knock and wake them up? Quite the gentleman aren't sir bandit?\" \n\nRegi's gaze fell to his feet, \"I wasn't thinking.\"\n\n\"It's fine,\" I said to the two. There was a weird feeling I had in my gut about this village. Something seemed off, and I just wanted to leave as quick as possible.\n\n\"Just.. Kick it in,\" Cora said. Jacko grinned and took a few steps back. I stepped in front of him towards the door.\n\n\"What?\" he asked. I ignored him and gently pushed the large wooden door set. It moved without any restraint. Cora raised an eyebrow and we all stepped into the building.\n\nWhat immediately struck us was the smell. A disgusting smell. We knew not of village folk that lived so dirty like this. But what we also realized even in the darkness was that this large building was in disarray. Tables and chairs were smashed all over the place. There were cracks and damages in the wooden walls of the building and not a single decor was standing unharmed.\n\n\"I don't like this,\" Cora said as she stepped close to me. I looked towards Regi.\n\n\"Can you get a torch going?\" I said and he nodded. He drew a torch from his pack and a lighting stick, both formerly tools of the military. Within seconds of rubbing, the torch was lit and the room was revealed. \n\nWe were right about the smashed furniture and decor. Most remained in splinters. But covering them and the walls was a thick coating of dark red. It was splattered on the floors, the ceiling, everywhere. Our eyes opened in shock. \n\n\"The fuck is this?\" asked Jacko as he took a few more steps into the room. Cora clutched onto my arm in fear as we followed. Young Regi seemed to have frozen by the doorway.\n\n\"I know not of a man who could do something like this,\" I said. It was clear there was no loot to be had here. Best to just leave and plan something else out.\n\n\"Come now Regi, no need to be scared. We'll be leaving-\" I said and turned around. Regi, was facing away from the hall with his torch in front of him. Inches away from him crouched a hideous beast. Its toothy grin was an array of daggers and its stone like skin rippled with powerful muscles. This beast towered over Regi though it was bent over and in the grip of one of its great hands was a sheep. It was nearly face to face with Regi and no size discrepancy could be greater. For its arms stretched longer than Regi stood and its head was many times larger than Regi's own. Its black eyes seemed joyful, but a haunting fear set in inside me. An Ogre, the enemy of mankind.\n\n\"Four men scurrying in Winju's kingdom,\" The Ogre sang -a terrifying sound- as it raised a great fist in the air.\n\n\"Regi!\" I screamed and dashed forward. Pulling me back was Jacko.\n\n\"He's got Ogre-fear! He's done for, just run!\" I tried to resist but the stronger Jacko pulled my deeper into the hall. Cora followed and through my screams I could hear the sounds of cracking and a smash. Jacko found a door and opened it and we dashed inside like bugs. All was quiet for a moment. Heartbroken, I dreaded to hear the sounds of teeth crunching bone. But it never came. Instead was that dreadful voice.\n\n\"Three men scurrying in Winju's kingdom.\"\n\nAs the door closed Jacko let me go. In a rage I struck the man and he crashed to the floor.\n\n\"Stop it\" Cora cried. The tear streaks down her face showed she too was in pain. Jacko stood up and in the black darkness I could see he clutched something in his hand. It was then I realized the smell had gotten stronger.\n\n\"Light a torch,\" I said. Jacko did so and this room lit up. Piled up to the ceiling were bones. Smashed bones. Crunched bones. The skulls revealed it to be a mixture of animal bones and human ones. But it was enough to warrant the massacre of a village. I had to restrain myself from vomiting, though Cora had no luck.\n\n\"What do we do?\" Cora asked. I had no answer. In combat it would usually take a few dozen armed soldiers to take down an Ogre, or it would call for the arrival of the Ogreslayers. But we had neither the numbers nor the training to warrant either of these.\n\n\"We run,\" said Jacko. Though dangerous and foolhardy, we had no choice. We all collected our breaths and steeled ourselves before opening the door and running for dear life. Jacko was immediately lifted off the ground and smashed into the wooden floor.\n\n\"Go!\" I screamed as Cora and I ran. The sounds of repeated smashing echoed as we exited the hall. We turned several corners in this wooden maze before stopping to catch our breaths.\n\n\"Two men scurrying in Winju's kingdom,\" the haunting words said. Cora was a mess; brought to tears and whimpers. I wanted to comfort her, but I was more concerned with our survival. Judging from our distance, it would be another similarly distanced dash to get to the outskirts of town.\n\n\"Are you ready?\" I asked Cora. She took a minute to collect herself and nodded. I nodded myself and grabbed her hand. Just as we stepped forward to run, a crash came from behind us. A large hand smashed through the house we had hidden behind and snatched Cora from my grasp. I watched her scream for a moment before the beast called Winju snapped down on her with his mighty maw; tearing her into two. I cried and sprinted in any direction. I flung myself over the fence of a sheep pen and laid among the thick flock. Thirty yards away was the other side of the pen and the edge of town.\n\n\"One man scurrying in Winju's kingdom,\" he sang. I could hear his stomps approaching the pen.\n\n\"Why do you hide with my sheep, little man?\" the Ogre asked as he stood outside the pen. Tear stricken, I stood to my feet to face the creature. Clutched in my hands were a steel spear and shield, though they felt like less than a stick and a pan when facing this beast.\n\n\"Does the man run or fight? Winju will see,\" Winju said as he stepped forward. Adrenaline hit my body. And in this moment of flight or flight I chose the former. With all my strength I threw my spear at the beast and ran. The spear struck the beast in the chest at its point. It punctured its skin a few inches, but the beast did not seem to notice. I could hear the metal snap as Winju pulled the weapon and broke it in his hands. I yelled and forced myself to run with all my might, and behind me I could hear the stomping of the monster who killed my friends. Just as he might grab me, I flung myself from the hill. Each impact with the ground hurt and I was sure I would break a few ribs, but it was distance away from that beast. As I laid at the base of the hill I looked up. Descending towards me was Winju, with his joyful smile.\n" ]	3
	[WP] God misplaces his wallet on Earth and you stumble upon it and find out his "true" name. Now god is on a mission to kill you.	[ "I find a wallet on the ground, with somebody's name on their driver's license. The picture was a man with a long white beard in a white robe. Odd. I study the license and I hand it off to a nearby police station. About an hour later I'm still on the bus, when I notice a man in white, the same man from the wallet staring at me. He takes a seat parallel to mine. My stop comes, and he follows. I'm prepared. I turn around pointing my pocket knife.\n\n\"Back off.\" I say confidently.\n\n\"You think that'll work?\" The robed man says as his hands fill with electricity. \n\nThe static energy radiates wildly from his hands as they're channeled into me, and I die. With my dying breath, a whisper loud enough for him to hear....\n\n\"Fuck you, Eugene\"" ]	1
Inspiration came from this article: http://www.higherperspectives.com/heartbeat-ring-1969018894.html?c=back2	[WP][TT] You and your fiancé wore rings that you let you feel each other's heartbeat in real time. After his/her passing, you decide to keep wearing the ring as a tribute. Several years later, you suddenly feel the ring start beating.	[ "I remember the first time we each put on those rings, the foreign rhythm that flooded through my ring finger in waves. I hated it at first, it was distracting and it made me feel out of place in my own body, but she insisted. It only took a month to get used to the feeling, whenever I was away from her it was always a nice reminder of her. She was very quick in picking up what my different heart rates meant, with two months she could tell when I had a bad day before I even got home. It took me four months before I could get a grip on reading her heart beat the way she had mine. I never could get a good read on the subtle emotions but things like fear, excitement, and calmness were easy for me to spot. \n\nThat day it happened, I didn't feel anything, the beat just suddenly stopped. My first assumption was that the rings had given out. I was pretty irritated actually, the rings were not cheap and for them to give out so quickly seemed wasteful to me. I tried to call my fiance to complain, it went down hill from there. Within a week her body had been found.\n\nThe first year without her was hard, I've never felt so apathetic and lifeless. It was the second year that I was emotional, every little thing would set me off. By the third year I was finally pulling my life back together, it still hurt but the wound was more of a scar at this point. Anniversaries were always hard, with all the progress I had made in the third year there were still some things I wasn't ready to give up on, like the ring.\n\nIt was on the third anniversary that I felt it, my spine stiffened and my heart stopped in response to it. It was faint, barely recognizable even, but it was definitely foreign. I knew it had to be nerves, the anniversaries always hit me hard, but the next day I felt nothing. The fourth year went by and I was doing pretty well, I was ready to move on in my life in every aspect except one, the ring. Then on the fourth anniversary I felt it again, only the pulse was stronger, and there was something recognizable by the rhythm, it was calmness. The next day the pulse had faded but this time, if I focused hard enough, I could sense it, just barely, that pulse.\n\nEvery anniversary that followed the pulse got strong, specifically on that day but for the rest of the year as well. Each time the pulse felt more foreign to me until today, on the seventh anniversary, it became too unbearable. So I did what I should have done a long time ago and finally got rid of the ring. As soon as I got rid of the it the pulse stopped. I sighed in relief but that lasted for only a second. I could feel the pulse bursting from my ring finger. I panicked, I let fear take over but only for a second. A sudden calmness came over me, I knew I couldn't keep on living like this, so there was only one thing to do. Then the pulse changed, and I recognized an old emotion, excitement.", "“My god he is handsome”, I thought to myself as he rounded the corner towards the coffee shop. \nI never really thought much about online dating. I figured it would be a string of poorly planned dates, followed by bad sex and nights alone. Well, that definitely wasn’t true, because the day I finally made the “leap of desperation”, was the same day I started talking to him. He seemed witty and a little sarcastic on-line, which was something I was totally attracted to. According to his online profile, he finished school with a bachellers in criminal justice, which he never used. \nHe had a dog, and an apartment in the city. He works full-time at amazon, and spends his free time “hiking”. All in all he seemed pretty safe online, which is the only reason I agreed to meet up with him. That, and he was completely average in his photos, so he must be a normal human.\nI stood up and he introduced himself and pulled me into a hug. I’m not usually a “hugger” but, I must admit, his arms felt nice. \nWe sat at that coffee shop for what must have been hours. The conversation flowed so smoothly, I hadn’t even realized the amount of time that had passed. He walked me to my car, and said goodnight.\n\nThree years later, I had learned that he is a closet romantic, he doesn’t kiss on the first date, he like his eggs over-easy, he NEVER puts the toilet seat down, and he wants a great-dane… Unfortunately for him, i’m allergic to dogs, so not going to happen. \n\nMe: Babe, I can’t believe it has been three years since we drank horrible coffee together for three hours.\nHim: soft chuckle Yes you can, you knew you wanted me the second you laid eyes on that space cat shirt.\nMe: Uhhh, I just wanted to tear it off of you, and not in a sexual way.\n\nIt was our third year anniversary. I kissed him softly on the cheek and grabbed my coat and keys and left for work. I was sitting at work, thinking about the day he proposed. He somehow convinced me that the fair was a good idea. He then convinced me that going on a roller coaster was a good idea as well. The moment we unloaded off the “Extreme Scream” I wanted to strangle him for making me go on that blasted ride especially when I am afraid of heights. \nInstead, upon exiting, he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. According to him, any woman who is as afraid of something as I was and is willing to set that aside to entertain him, he wants to be with.\n\nI twirled my half of our “heart-beat rings” on my finger.The ring softly vibrated with the pulse of his heart around my left ring finger. It feels so good to feel it beat. I’m almost back home again every time I make myself aware of its presence. I can almost smell his cologne and shampoo mixed with our fabric softener.\nSuddenly, it stops.\nI stopped breathing for a second. I watched the ring intently, waiting for it to start up again. \n“What the hell is wrong with this thing?”, I said to myself out loud as I tapped it on my desk.\nI took the ring off and examined it for a second. \nIt hit me then. I quickly pulled out my phone, silently chanting to myself “come on, come on, come on”, all I got was voicemail. \n\nI grabbed my bag and practically ran out the door to my car. I tried his cell again, frantically weaving in and out of traffic, nothing.\nHis car wasn’t in the drive-way when I pulled up. I ran inside anyways, frantically calling his name. He must have been at work at this point. \nI quickly called his boss, who informed me that he hadn’t shown for his shift. \n\nLater, I found out he was T-boned on his way to work. The paramedics had tried everything, but his heart had given out. \nThat day I learned I would never feel his skin on mine again. Never kiss his lips. Never hear his laugh and never feel his pulse again…\n\nIt’s been a year since that day. I spread his ashes at the ocean, and tossed his ring in. Somehow, it felt secure knowing it would be there with him. I never took mine off.\n\nI was sitting at work, entering some data, when it happened. I felt the ring vibrate softly and a steady rhythm started. The rhythm of a heart beat. My own heart started pounding. I told my boss I needed a personal day, and drove home. I sat on the couch and put my head in my hands, sobbing. This couldn’t be happening, I must be going mad. I had done so much therapy, I can’t revert back to feeling it again. I used to wake up at nights thinking I felt his heart beat after he passed.\nThis can’t be happening.\n\nI watched my left ring finger for what must have been 2 -3 minutes straight. This was really happening. I remembered he had purchased the ultimate “Gold standard” ring that came with a tracking feature, in-case of it being lost or stolen. I quickly pulled out the paperwork and warranty for our rings from the filing cabinet. I got onto the website and input the tracking code.\n\nIt popped up on the map in “Seattle”\nIt was here.\nThis can’t be happening. I grabbed my phone and drove to the location it was set at. The pier.\nI got down to the docks, and stared at my phone. A few blocks down. Only a few blocks down. This can’t be real. \n\nI slow jogged down the dock, slowly getting closer on my phone. It was right in front of me now. My heart pounded out of my chest. I glanced in all directions, looking for him.\nI only saw a pair of divers in wet suits, toting what looked to be underwater welding gear. \nOne was halfway stripped down and wore a ring, his ring. I walked up a few feet from the man, but didn’t say anything.\n“Wow man, who would have thrown this out. poor bastard lost a lot of cash with this one”\n\n\n\n\n\nI slowly made my way back down the pier. I’m a fool, he’s never coming back.\n", "Jhon sat silently in the dark, his hands were resting in the arms of an old leather chair. The glimpse of light that invaded the room came from his window, out there the silence of the night was broken only by the buzzing sound of the old, rusted lampposts.\n\nThat small beam of light caressed Jhon's left hand almost ironically. The positioning of the chair, the window and the light, it almost felt like it was meant to be, written in the stars so he could face his grief clearly, even in the darkest of the hours.\n\n - A ring that allows you to feel your partner's heartbeat. What a dumb idea.\n\nAs another sip of cheap whiskey went down his throat he wondered whether or not the creators of the ring knew the massive pain they had created. Since that day, Jhon could feel the silence, the death, he could feel her beloved's heart frozen in his hand.\n\nHe was working late, Sara had planned this fancy dinner for them, she was cooking some different dishes she saw some kids cooking in a TV show. And when he was about to leave the office, it stopped. Two seconds of numbness where he couldn't understand what was off. The ring had stopped. After that, the adrenaline kicked in. Cellphone, her number. No one answered. Her mother's number. \"She's not here honey, I haven't seen her in a while\". Her friends. \"... she was heading home to cook you din...\". The police. Her number again. Again. Again...\n\nAll the while, the ring was silent. Silence... Is that even the word for it? It didn't matter, not anymore. And now,in this dark room, just like the way it stopped, it started to beat again. That steady pulsation in his left hand. The numbness... and the adrenaline.\n\nHis phone buzzed in his pocket almost at the same time Jhon's hands let his glass resting in the air. By the time the fragile cup hit the ground Jhon was already crying.\n\n\"1 New message - Unknown Number\"\n\nQuickly, without having any time to think he opened that text. Was it real? Was she alive? Was he dead?\n\n\"My old family house. Be silent. Don't call. HELP ME!\"\n\nAs Jhon started the engine of his car he was trying to fill the blanks. She was kidnapped, and now she managed to get the ring back and warn him. She was alive! The lamp posts were flashing by his windshield, he could feel Shara's heartbeat accelerating.\n\n- Hang in there. I'm coming.\n\nThump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump.\n\nHer heart was speeding. His heart was speeding. He could see Sarah's old house in the horizon. That old abandoned house in the middle of nowhere.\n\nThump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump.\n\nHe was running to the front porch. He could see that the door was resting against the structure but it was not close. His legs were hurting from the effort. Silence!\n\nThe color ran out from Jhon's face as he remembered Sarah's message. Silence. He was not alone. Jhon's heart was flying on his chest as he calmly pushed the door open. As he got in he saw lights coming from the second floor. \n\nThump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump.\n\nAs he climbed the last step he could see the light coming from his wife's old room. He walked slowly. The silence was crushing. Being \"broken\" only but constant beating.\n\nThump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump.\n\nAs he walked in the room tears of joy crawled out of his eyes. She was there! She lost a lot of weight she was hurt but she was there. He rushed to the back of the room where Sarah lay with her back against the wall and he took her in his arms.\n\nJhon whispered in her ear\n\n- Sara! Sarah my love. I'm here. Wake up. I'm going to take you back home!\n\nBut she didn't respond.\n\n- Sarah! Wake up.\n\nWhy didn't she respond? She was still alive, he could feel her heart speeding. His ring was- the ring. As Jhon's eyes slowly crawled down Sarah's naked left hand, his phone buzzed.\n\n\"1 new Message - Unknown\"\n\n\"Jhon, please. Help me! Why don't you help me?!\"\n\nThump. Thump. Thump.\n\nThat sound. It wasn't a heartbeat. That was the sound of shoes, coming up the stairs. His phone buzzed again.\n\n\"1 new Message - Unknown\"\n\n\"Jhon, he's here. He's going to kill me. Please help me!\"\n\nThe tears of joy had become tears of desperation and fear. And as Jhon desperately held his wife's corpse in his hand, trough the tears he saw something shining in the door across the room. It was a golden ring. And as fear quickly took over Jhon's body a deep voice filled the air.\n\n- Why don't you help her Jhon?\n\n[... TV Buzz ...]\n\n[... the police found two bodies inside the burned house. The victims were identified as Jhon and Sarah Whitmore, the latter being missing for over 5 years...]\n\nRobert was having a bear alone after work in a pub next to his office. He heard the woman sitting next to him talking about the news.\n\n - That's so sad. Five years looking for his wife, and they end up both dead in a fire.\n\nRobert joined the conversation.\n\n- Well, at least he was able to spend his last moments with hi-\n\nThump-thump. Thump-thump. Thu-\n\nSomething was wrong. Robert couldn't quite understand, but he knew something was wrong. Everything was... silent. And after two seconds of numbness, he understood. His ring. It stopped.", "Life moves slower without John.\n\nWe used to joke around that we didn't need each other, proud of how advanced we were as modern people in the world. We weren't like those co-dependant couples that we knew, we were much more sophisticated than that. And then of course, we got the rings. John saw them on some obscure nerdy site and thought that the tech factor excused the saccharine implications. We laughed about it.\n\nBut now he's gone and it's just another piece of jewellery. Just a ring like any other. I tried taking it off once but the absence was so ostensible, it was like wearing a big foam finger that they wear at ball games, except mine just said \"WIDOW\" in huge letters. \n\nSo I wear it. I don't take it off. I wear it to work where people tell me I look tired. I wear it to family gatherings where my sisters tilt their heads and ask me how I am. I wear it while I fall asleep after staring at the ceiling. \n\nI've even worn it to a few dates. Men ask about it - it's become a sort of litmus test - how soon will he ask about it and how awkwardly will he do it? It actually was a fairly good predictor of how socially able he is.\n\nAdam waited until dessert before he asked. He waited until I had a mouth full of wine. My sister insisted that I see him, though I had very little hope for anything but a way to make the evening pass. He was so subtle about it, he almost whispered, \"That's a nice ring you have,\" passing the onus onto me whether I would choose to respond. \n\nThat was four months ago today, which also marks John's passing. \n\nI stare at the ring. Maybe it's time? Maybe it's finally time to move on? \n\nThat's when I feel it. The beating. \n\nAt first, I'm sure it's in my head. This happened after John died. I sometimes when I was just falling asleep, I would feel it and I'd wake up abruptly, yelling his name like it was a dream.\n\nBut I was awake. And the beating wasn't stopping. \n\n\"John?\" I said aloud. The beating got stronger.\n\n\"John? Are you there?\" The beating got even stronger. I looked around around my empty apartment as if he'd be standing behind me. \n\nThe beating was stronger now, almost audible. In fact, it was audible. The beating was not only in my ring, but now it was banging at the front door. \n\nSo confused. What was happening? It's been four years. I'd remember the casket closing and it being lowered into the ground. \n\nThe banging at the door stopped suddenly.\n\nI'm crying. I was terrified but more than anything, I realized how much I miss John.\n\nThat's when I hear keys jangling. Then the key going into the door. Then the key turning. \n\nThe door opens slowly and there he is. John. As alive as he ever was, looking at me with those large blue eyes. \n\n\"John!\"\n\n\"Hi Laura. Miss me?\" he said smiling.\n\n\"John! I can't believe it's you!\" I sob. \"You're back! I can't believe you're back!\"\n\n\"I missed you.\" he smiled\n\n\"John! You're here! And you were did! I have so many questions!\"\n\n\"I'll answer them, I promise,\" he reassured me, hugging me in that way that made me feel so safe. \"But me first,\" he said, putting me at arm's length, \"why did you kill me?\"\n\nI took a step backward. Oh no. He knows. ", "Ba-dump... Ba-dump...\n\nMy eyes slowly open at the soft sounds of heartbeats. It is painful to move, as I gather all my consciousness to concentrate as much as I could for a few more seconds.\n\nba-DUMP... BA-DUMP... BA-DUMP...\n\n\"Impossible...\". I thought to myself as I slowly stood up, as rattling sounds of empty whiskey bottles echo at my feet. \n\n\"She can't be alive... I killed her myself.\"\n\nThe sound resonates from my 'engagement ring' - which we bought as a pair to commemorate our union. We were the best in our respective fields -the perfect combination of medicine and engineering. We were going to change the world.\n\nThen she had to fuck it all up with her cheating - to a simple high school crush no less.\n\nSo primitive. So animalistic. She was supposed to be my equal. Our combined assets were of trillions. We could have done so much together, for ourselves, for humanity... We were meant for so much more than this...\n\nBA-DUMP... BA-DUMP.... BA-DUMP....\n\n\"Of course\" I thought to myself. You have always been impulsive, Anna. A creature of passion. Combined with extreme intelligence, there's no one else you'd rather have as your first test subject, huh ?\n\nI looked up as the limping, lifeless silhouette slowly moves towards me. Her entrails dragging on the floor from numerous knife wounds.\n\n\"John, we were meant for greatness, remember ?\"\n\n'Anna' moves in slowly towards me. Her bloodshot eyes staring without blinking as blood gushes from her mouth. Her inhuman hands slowly wrap around my head.\n\n\"I love you John...\" \n\nSnaps\n\n\n ", "At birth, everyone receives their ring. Some are already beating; Others take years to start. They hang on a chain that your parents keep until you're old enough to take care of it yourself, and finally gets placed on your finger when you've found the one whose heart matches the beat of the ring.\n\nMy mom kept my ring in her dresser, and sometimes, I would sneak into her room and slip it on my too-small fingers, pressing it into my skin to feel the thump-thump the best I could.\n\nMine began beating, according to my mom, when I was only a few months old. I think I'm lucky. My best friend's only started when she was seven. With such a large age gap, it could take them years to find each other, and maybe even longer to realize that they're a pair.\n\nAnother friend's started beating when he was five. It stopped a few months later. I've heard they can begin beating again, but his never did. He met his wife at a support meeting. I think they're happy together, but I know they can't feel each other's hearts. I always wondered what would happen if his started beating again and hers didn't.\n\nDating was always a strange thing. People wanted to date in highschool, but falling in love with someone whose heartbeat didn't match yours was a common problem. Some couples found out early, \"testing\" the relationship by taking their partners running, and seeing if their rings sped up. Others avoided it, keeping their rings on their chain, waiting for the relationship to work or fall apart on its own.\n\nI found out relatively early. I was out with a girl, Rachel, and I slipped the ring onto my middle finger while we watched a movie. When I reached for her hand, I felt her heartbeat quicken. When we glanced at each other and she giggled, it fluttered against my finger. And when I leaned in to kiss her, I could feel her pulse against my hands and in my fingers. From then on, the beating was my comfort, and I always knew she was waiting for me.\n\nThat was 17 years ago, and today, that rhythmic, reassuring beating stopped.\n\nYou usually don't notice it until it stops. It's like how people get used to the noises their own body makes, or take breathing for granted. You don't miss them until they're gone.\n\nI wish I could say she had just taken her ring off for work, or somehow dropped it. Even if she had lost it forever, it would have been better than losing her.\n\nMy friend, whose ring also didn't beat, asked if I'd like to join him at the meetings. \"Maybe you can find someone new,\" he said gently. I wasn't interested in dealing with my grief that way. I almost envied him- his stopped beating when he was so young, he never even met her. His sorrow and what-ifs had to be better than my pain, because I knew, I was sure, that no one would ever replace Rachel. He was happy with his wife, even though she wasn't his ring's beat, because he never experienced being with his soulmate.\n\nAnd I was right. I never experienced that rumored, unexplained phenomenon of feeling a ring beat again. Not for years, at least. I lived my life, and watched my friends find their mates. When I had first began dating Rachel, they were the people who told me how lucky I was to find her so early in life, and that we'd have such a long time together. Now, I was jealous of even the friend that found his wife when he was 42 and she was 35. Even though it took them so long to find one another, their time would be infinite compared to me and Rachel.\n\nI became a firefighter. With an empty ring, I decided that helping others who had family was the best way to make my life meaningful. I was surrounded by other men and women who had lost their beats, and used the job to pull themselves out of their depression. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes they left within a few months. For me, ensuring as many rings continued beating as possible was my end goal. \n\nI was usually the first to rush into a building to help those trapped inside. It didn't please my chief, but other firefighters often praised what they thought was bravery. My chief ended up being right, of course. \n\nThis call was for an old funeral home that had been shut down years ago. The building was ancient by city standards, sitting on an unused plot of land in a bad neighborhood. I didn't run in- not even the homeless slept inside this rotting building- but got closer than was safe. I took the main water hose and sprayed into the heart of the fire, while the men on the truck took on the flames licking at the windows.\n\nI heard a cry from behind me, and saw everyone staring up in horror. I glanced up in time to see the heavy metal roof ornamentation sag on top of the sodden, burnt wood, before they toppled toward me on the ground.\n\nI've never personally met anyone who has had their ring begin beating again. I don't know if it's true that you can have another soulmate. I do wonder, if it happens to everyone on their way to meet them again. It was rhythmic, it was reassuring, it was comfort. And I knew she was waiting for me.\n\n\n------------\nThis is my first post. Sorry for sort of rushing it at the end, I had to head to class. If you have any notes, feel free to comment! :) Edited for formatting idk what the heck happened", "I felt it. Small, almost ethereal, but unmistakable.\n\nIt was her.\n\nMy drink fell to the floor. I clutched my hand, my ring. How... how could she be..?\n\nMy keys. \n\nI need to get to her. To save her. \n\nLike I never could before.\n\nSpeeding through the darkness. That faint pulse. Every beat giving me renewed hope, making me drive faster and faster. I don't know how, I don't know why, but I know she's there. \n\nI can feel my heartbeat quicken, as hers seems to grow fainter and fainter. I must get to her, get her out of that damned prison.\n\nI'll dig her out with my bare hands.\n\nPlease God, just let me get to her. \n\nI turn, drifting around the corner. I'm losing control. \n\nBut I'm so close. I can almost feel her.\n\nBright lights flash. I swerve. I feel weightless, as if I'm floating through the air. \n\nLike I'm flying towards her.\n\n***\n\nAnd the ring's heartbeat grew ever faint, then beat no more.", "I knew after Edgar there wouldn't be another man. We were true soul mates, shared our college days together, survived a war, and saw our beautiful daughter grow up.\n\nI wear the ring as a reminder of his legacy. We could always feel each other's heartbeats.\n\nToday I felt his heart beat, the pulse made me smile. \n\nEdgar stood where he always stood when he was about to head out the door.\n\n\"It is time to go Constance.\"", "I had really screwed up this time.\n\nGod knows why I kept that ring; I had plenty of other reminders of what I had lost and what had been taken from me. But some part of me, some stupid, masochistic part of me, wanted to cling to it as a reminder of what could've been. Of what had almost been. I wish I hadn't. I wish I had gotten rid of the ring back when I first found out the truth.\n\nThis morning I had been running more than a little late to a very big meeting with a new client. I had barely enough time to run through my morning cleansing program before Martha let me know I had five minutes. I had been about to run out the door, trusting my ironically named home AI to close and lock it behind me, when I realized I had forgotten my ID ring. The one that allowed me access into my own office. \n\nIt had a simple design, unlike my other bejeweled accessories, with nothing but an engraving of my employee number to decorate its smooth, sleek surface. My fingers would easily be able to tell it apart from my other rings.\n\nI backtracked to my bedroom, rifling through my old fashioned jewelry box in the dark, as Martha had already powered the lights down for the work day. I had programmed her to do so to save out on the exorbitant electricity bills that usually KO-ed me at the end of every month. \n\nBlood pumping and adrenaline pushing me to get my arse out of my flat, I shoved the engraved ring I found onto the middle finger on my right hand, as always. Letting my sensors check to make sure the premises was clear, I hobbled out to the garage, ring secure on my finger and heels half-way on my feet. It wasn't until I successfully hopped into my transport pod and my heart rate began to slow that I realized the racing beats I felt weren't my own.\n\nMy heart began to palpitate furiously once again as horror flooded my veins. I squeezed my eyes shut in denial as my other fingers slowly ran over what I had rashly shoved onto my finger. Even though I already knew what I was going to find, I let my traitorous hands confirm their mistake.\n\nThey felt eight different numbers carved into the ring's surface. 02142024. The numbers engraved onto the ring were 02142024. My employee number was sixteen digits. Further, I knew those eight digits. I knew this racing, excited heartbeat that wasn't my own. I knew that if I could feel him, he could feel me. I knew he was still wearing my ring instead of putting it away with the others because I had been the one that got away. I knew he was going to find me and finish what he had started. I knew that unless I did something to stop it, he was going to make sure my heart stopped beating, and my heart ring joined that collection of his. I knew my fiancé knew I had never died.", "\"Why'd I join?\" He paused, debating how much to share. \"I didn't know what else to do.\" Staring down at his dry hands, he kept eye contact with the ring. \"I was alone. I needed a family again. I needed a purpose.\"\n\n\"That's deep, Sarge.\"\n\nHe immediately regretted joining them. He could feel his squad staring, waiting for more details, but he couldn't bear to look up. Instead, he focused all his energy on the ring. It was the only thing that got him through.\n\n\"That's enough for tonight, boys.\" Sergeant Dave Compton took his leave of the bunk. As he shuffled outside, he took a moment to reflect on her, Amy. They'd been together seven years. Back then, Amy had insisted on a heartbeat ring. They were all the rage at the time. In each set came two rings, each with a tiny sensor that sent a signal with the heartbeat of the wearer to the other ring. You could feel your loved one's heart all the time. At first, he thought it was stupid, but even he had to admit that, during long nights at his old job, there were moments it was the only thing that had gotten him through.\n\nThen, the accident happened. That night, he was still at the office. It was two in the morning, and Amy was just on her way home from work. She never saw him. A drunk driver smashed her driver side door in. Amy hadn't survived. Dave remembered feeling her heart stop. He remembered the panic he felt as he tried to call her, the ring company, then the police. He had stayed up the whole night searching for answers, only to find the one he hadn't wanted.\n\nDidn't take long until he realized he needed to do something drastic. The Army seemed like the right kind of place. He left it all behind, his job, his house, even his family, save for the ring. Sometimes, he swore he could still feel something, still feel her. It was all he had.\n\n\"What in the hell?\" There were bright lights flashing in the sky beyond the bunker. Smoke began to rise closer than was comfortable. The world filled with the deep growl of explosives, with the sharp pop of gunfire.\n\nHe ran back to the bunker to rouse his men, and they were already frantically gearing up. \"What is it Sarge?\"\n\n\"Damned if I know, just get. . .\" As he turned to take another look, his hearing went out and he felt his body slam to the floor.\n\n\"Sarge!\" The rogue grenade had exploded just in range of him. Shrapnel was lodged in his legs, his arms, his chest. Blood slowly began to pour from the tears in his uniform.\n\n\"Grab the med kit!\" His squad slowly uncovered the sand from his face. \"Stay still, Dave. You're going to make it.\" \n\nHe wasn't so sure. The shock was wearing off and now all he felt was pain. The medic was working on his chest. He could feel the metal moving inside his flesh. \n\n\"Stay with us, Dave. Nurse, keep pressure there.\" Did they just call him \"Dave\"? They'd only ever called him Sarge. In any event, it wasn't like he was going to pull rank lying on the ground with the contents of a grenade lodged in the front of him.\n\nHe tried to speak. He tried to let them know he was ok, but he wasn't. The voices started to come in and out. He tried to listen. Everything was suddenly very bright.\n\n\"Dad!\" A voice rang out. \"No!\" Being called \"Dad\" was weirder still than Dave. At this stage, maybe he wasn't thinking straight. His hearing must have been off. It made sense. He could feel a hunk of shrapnel lodged around his ear.\n\nThen, he felt something other than pain, something familiar. Weak at first, and slow. But it was unmistakeable. The ring was pulsing. \"Amy!\"\n\n\"He's hallucinating. More morphine.\" No he wasn't. It was there. He could feel it.\n\n\"Amy!\" She was alive. He knew she was alive. It was unmistakeable. Seven years. He had felt that heartbeat for seven years. It was her. \"Amy!\"\n\n\"We're losing him!\"\n\n\"Dave!\"\n\nThe doctor dropped his mask from his face, wiped his brow and turned to his family. There was nothing more that he could do.", "I remember the day like it was yesterday. The day I purposed to the love of my life. I had been watching the weather forecast. I was waiting, waiting for the day of the first snow of the season. We lived in a section of the country where snow was uncommon, but not completely unexpected. \n\nIt was a cold day in November, and the forecast showed snow up in the mountains. I had the ring already, I just needed the day to come.\n\nWe went up to the hills, and it was a winter wonderland. We got out of the truck and started up a path, her hand in mine. She knew something was up… my hand was trembling from anticipation.\n\nI couldn’t take it anymore, I got down on one knee, and popped the question. She covered her mouth with her hands. Her blue eyes sparkled as the snow danced around her. She nodded her head, and then tackled me into the snow drift. This was the best day of my life.\n\nI had bought a special set of rings. Rings that would detect the heartbeat of the other, no matter the distance between us. We smiled as we wore them together, sensing every heartbeat of the other. We were one, we were complete. \n\nA week went by. Every night, as we laid in our own beds in separate apartments across town, I would focus on the ring and her heartbeat. It soothed me. I knew the day would come in which we would be living together for the rest of our days.\n\nBut the day never came… A month after the best day of my life, came the worst day of my life. I was at work, a project deadline was approaching and we were busy. It had become routine to focus on her heartbeat during breaks… but it wasn’t there today. It was an empty void that day. I grabbed my phone and dialed her number.\n\nring, ring\n\nI kept thinking, “Pick up the phone.” “Please just pick up the phone.”\n\nring, ring\n\n“Hello”\n\n“Thank God you answered your phone I thought yo-“\n\n“You have reached the Voicemail of Sarah. I can’t come to the phone right now…”\n\nI dialed her number several more times after that, and every time it went to voicemail. Every time my heart sank into lower levels of stress and anxiety.\n\nI found out later she was hit by a drunk driver. She was dead at the scene… The love of my life was gone, just like a candle blown out by the wind. \n\nI had permission from her parents to bury her with the ring I gave her. I knew I would never feel her heartbeat again. I knew she was gone… But I wanted the love I gave her to be buried with her. It gave me peace, knowing she could still feel my heartbeat. I was living for the both of us now, and I would carry on her memory.\n\n-------------------------------------------------\n\nThe years passed. I grieved for the love of my life. My friends were worried about me, and how I was distancing myself from them. Could you blame me? She was gone. My dreams of the happy life and growing old with her were ripped away from our hands. I was an empty shell now. \n\nAt the advice of my counselor, I got myself a dog. He said caring for something else may help me with the grief, and moving on. I got a black lab, and I named her Duchess. She slowly opened my cold heart back up and made me realize there was still a world out there. Even if my life had taken an abrupt turn, there was still life to live.\n\nOne day, I took Duchess to a local dog park. It was an unusually cold day at the park, and only one other person was there. She was playing with a collie. The woman was beautiful. I couldn’t stop staring.\n\nBa-dump\n\nI took up some courage and started to approach her. I have grieved long enough, right?\n\nBa-dump\n\nI had to move on with my life again. Right?\n\nBa-dump\n\nI felt this feeling before. The day I first laid eyes on Sarah. The day I asked her out on the first date. The day I purposed to her up in the hills, with the snowflakes dancing around us.\n\nBa-dump\n\nMy heart was beating with anticipation of a new beginning.\n\nBa-dump\n\nI Froze. This isn’t just my heart beating… Sarah?\n\nBa-dump\n\nI looked at the ring, I felt the heartbeat. It was faint, but it was there. I looked back up at the woman playing with her dog and felt it again.\n\nBa-dump\n\nThat was the last time I ever felt the heartbeat. It was like a gentle nudge, telling me it was ok to move on. To take the chance, and live again. \n\nI started to approach the woman again. “Ummm… hi. My name is Sean, would you like to grab a cup of coffee?”\n\nShe smiled at me, it was radiant. “Hi Sean, I’m Tracy, and I would love to get some coffee.”\n\nWe leashed our dogs and started to head to the nearest coffee shop. As we stepped foot out of the park, something caught my eye. “Would you look at that, it’s the first snow of the season.”\n\n", "When the rings that let you feel your lover’s heartbeat in real-time came out, you know the ones, they were a flash in the pan. Huge fad that picked up fast and hard, all the hip couples got them and raved about how their special so-and-so was having such a hard meeting at work in the middle of the day or bemoan how stressful work must have been with so high a heart rate all day.\n\n\nTurns out that special so-and-so just had it hard for the secretary, and with stamina to match a teenager’s. \n\n\nLike most fads, it died out as quickly as it had started. \n\nBut, my wife and I had enjoyed the novelty of the idea. We’d picked up some of the higher end rings, called the HBR, as the enthusiasm died away and prices plummeted. We weren’t often apart, in the early years of our marriage, so it was something we’d joke about while running or playing games together. In fact, mine gave me away more than once while we played Catan with our friends. Sometimes I’m still salty over her stealing the longest road out from under when she’d noticed my heartrate spiked and I’d grinned just so slightly.\n\nClever girl. \n\nBut as our lives progressed and circumstances changed, it became more and more frequent for one or the other of us to be gone for weeks at a time. I got a job as a quality and safety inspector for our nation’s leading poultry producer, my wife became a renowned yogi – helluva thing, right? A renowned yogi. – and would go to yoga conventions around the world to… discuss yoga, I guess. \n\nI never really picked up her enthusiasm for yoga. Irked her to no end.\n\nShe was always telling me I needed to do it for my health. For my peace of mind, too. Find my center, weather any external storm. That sort of stuff. But I always said the same thing when she brought it up: “I’m a runner, darlin’,” I’d grin real wide and stretch out my long legs or hop in place, “Born to run, just like The Boss.”\n\nShe’d huff, but smile since it wasn’t a lie. I ran track in high school. I ran more than a few marathons, too. And she always said I had a steady heart when I ran. Pumped harder, and a little faster, but steady. Just like I run, just like I lived, and just like I loved her. Steady. Strong. Constant.\n\nAnd that’s why I liked the rings. I always had to snuggle up to her when we were home together, even if I did it while I was asleep. And I mean while* I was asleep. I’d face the walls sometimes, just ‘cause it was too hot to be smashed against one another and sleep, but we’d wake up in a tangled heap because the boy who’s born to run can’t go one sleep without wrapping up his wife or all the blankets and pillows. Or both. So, if she was gone and I was alone at home, I could still feel her. I’d wake up and have my hand pressed against my chest in the mess of pillows. Like in my sleep I’d needed to feel her heart beat against my own. The pace keeper, when you’re warming up or training through. Despite herself, too, she’d eventually loved them for that same reason. A world away in a strange bed, she’d told me, she would sleep sounder because that strong and steady heart of mine was there to make her feel at home.\n\n\nIt was about ten years ago she died. It was a Saturday. She’d been in Europe for a couple weeks for a yoga circuit, having a right roaring time meditating and stretching. At least, that’s how I always liked to put it. She was on her way to the airport and been T-boned by a guy on a motorcycle. One of those zippy, Japanese kinds that make a noise like an angry wasp if it were amplified louder than you’d ever need. I was working on a computer for one of my friend’s kids, since we never had our own and I was good with building the things, when it happened. \n\nI really didn’t even understand what it was, at first. I was soldering a couple wires in place when my hand started to shake. At first I just set the iron on its stand and walked out to the deck, getting a breath of fresh air. \n\nBut my hand wouldn’t stop shaking. \n\nI massaged it and drank a tall glass of water, thinking maybe it was starting to cramp up, but it still wouldn’t stop.\n\nWhen I realized it, I almost fell out of my chair. \n\nHer heartbeat was gone. \n\nI texted her and asked, “Did you take your ring off to wash your hands and forget about it? ;)”\n\nI thought she’d respond right away, waiting at the airport. I knew when the flight was supposed to take off, and she always let me know if there were delays. But she didn’t respond. \n\nIt’s not my place to bore you with the details of me finding out she was gone. Really, all I need to tell you is I found out she’d never respond again.\n\nWe got together our meagre family, which was really just hers since mine were all dead and gone, and a helluvalot of our friends. God, she even had people from her yoga studies and seminars at her funeral. And people passed me by at the wake and said their condolences, all the while I sat and spun the ring on my finger that would never relay my pace keeper’s rhythm. We buried her at sea, that was in her will. She’d always said to be calm as the peaceful ocean during her sessions, which didn’t make a lick of sense to me. Ever seen a hurricane? Opposite of calm and peaceful. \n\nI never took the ring off. Just like all the love stories you hear of old men wearing their wedding band after their wives died because taking it off made them feel naked, alone, and scared. Taking my HBR off made me feel all those things worse than I did with it. I would fiddle with the thing all the time, hoping it wasn’t really how things were. Idly, really, but it was my subconscious’ way of telling me something wasn’t right. Something was never right. Because I was running a race without an end, without a pace, and without a friend. No relay, no finish, no rest stations. Just a baton on my finger that said I’d been running and had to keep going. That’s how the ten years since her death went. Ten years of constantly fiddling. Ten years of constantly knowing something just wasn’t quite right.\n\nIt’s been a few weeks since I felt the thing again. Since I felt her steady heart on my finger. \n\nI’ve not stopped looking for her. \n\nI can’t stop looking for her. \n\nI know she’s down there. \n\nSomewhere.\n\nSomehow.\n\nI can feel her heart beat.\n\n\nEdit: Thanks to everyone for the comments! I wrapped this up because I had a meeting, so I didn't feel completely finished. I'll pick it back up for another part if you guys decide you want it! Thanks for the gold!\n\nEdit2: I'll have a part two out later. :)" ]	12
	[WP] "Oh, him? He's allergic to the sun. Weakness to the fire element, they say. The teachers just give him his field lessons at night. There's a rumor he can't cast fire magic at all."	[ "As winter approached and the sun set earlier each day, some of the students noticed him watching the last few minutes of illusions practice. Not that there was much too see; most students had already learned how to vanish for minutes at a time. But being one of the newest students, Arlen had not yet managed to render himself completely invisible... without blinding himself at the same time. While the other students played tag, he sat and waited for his eyesight to return, and that's when he had seen the strange boy watching him. from beneath the hood, it looked like he was smiling, but it was too hard to tell.\n\n\n\"WHAT YOU LOOKING AT!\" someone was speaking directly into his ear.\n\n\"Watch it Richard!\" Arlen jumped to his feet and turned around to see Richard and his friends popping in and out of view as they laughed.\n\n\"I'm just messing with you Arlen, simmer down.\" and he vanished again.\n\nArlen sighed at the pun. Not only was Richard the best illusionist in the entire school, he was also a notoriously gifted Pyromancer and he wanted everyone to know.\n\n\n\"Come on Arlen, you're almost there.\" Arlen felt a hand on his shoulder. It was one of the instructors. Jake was only slightly older than Arlen, but he was years ahead in terms of ability and was the closest thing to a friend that Arlen had.\n\n\"Remember to let the light bounce into your eyes this time. that's the only hard part. everything else can just be a rough edge, you are trying too hard to be perfect.\"\n\nArlen held his hands in front of his faced and watched them disappear.\n\n\"Don't worry about Richard, I'm watching him for you.\"\n\n\"You can see him?\"\n\n\"Infra-red.\"\n\nArlen watched his lower body disappear.\n\n\"You know he is probably just worried about the tournament.\"\n\n\"You know about the tournament?\"\n\n\"Arlen. I'm in it.\"\n\nArlen almost lost concentration.\n\n\"Well then I really have no chance.\" \n\n\"It's still a few weeks away, and you are a fast learner. look, you have it.\"\n\nArlen looked into the mirror and saw nothing.\n\n\"haha! yes. High five!\" Arlen and Jake swung their arms through the air and missed.\n\n\nAs the students started to leave Arlen picked up his robes and walked over to Jake who was helping another student.\n\n\"Hey Jake, who's that?\" Arlen motioned at the strange boy watching the class.\n\n\"Oh, him? He's allergic to the sun. Weakness to the fire element, they say. The teachers just give him his field lessons at night. There's a rumor he can't cast fire magic at all.\"\n\n\"...Maybe now Richard has a natural enemy he will leave me alone?\" \n\nJake shrugged.\n\n\n*\n\nThe tournament was an unofficial dueling event that had taken place at midnight on the shortest day of winter every year, for the last decade. It was run by a group of students known as MFC (no one knew what the M stood for) and was a kept a secret from the Head Wizards. normally it would be easy for them to infiltrate the mind of any student, but new regulations severely restricted their ability to control and discipline students. If they did know, they couldn't say.\n\nAll forms of magic were allowed, except attacks that invoked the dimension known as The Void. This prevented two things mainly; students being sent to another dimension, and students summoning demons which were way too difficult to contain. All spectators would form a ring around the two fighters and weave a complex aura around them to prevent conscious death and immediately repair accidental physical death.\n\nArlen had won his first match quite easily by turning one of the younger students into a goat. but any excitement he felt about the win was starting to fade now that he was watching Richard play with one of the other students like a toy. Finally, Richard turned the floor into lava and his opponent shrieked \"okay! I give up! I GIVE UP!\".\n\n\"He's a lot better than last year\" Jake muttered as two new students entered the Arena.\n\n\"Is he your next opponent?\" Arlen asked.\n\nJake nodded. \"But I've been preparing for him.\"\n\nSuddenly one of the students screamed. Arlen and Jake looked back at the match and saw that one of the fighters had started kicking themselves in the head with their own broken leg. \n\n\"Okay Jake!\" someone called.\n\nArlen watched his friend walk silently into the Arena. Jake was obviously concentrating very hard, probably preparing a very complicated and powerful spell in his mind. Richard stepped into the Arena, but he wasn't smiling like his usual self. he looked very serious this time. Which made sense. Arlen had heard how close their last match had been.\n\n\n\"Begin!\" the referee shouted. Richard didn't move. Jake raised his fists. Arlen heard the sound of thunder. In less than three seconds it was raining harder than Arlen had ever seen in his life. He was very impressed. Weather manipulation was considered very difficult, Jake had been gathering clouds as he walked into the arena. technically, it was not against the rules, but now Richard had no chance of even warming Jake's feet.\n\n\"That's cheating!\" Someone in the crowd called.\n\n\"It's okay!\" Shouted Richard over the storm.\n\n\"Continue!\" Shouted the referee.\n\nJake pulled his arms apart and turned, pointing at Richard. Arlen recognized the move immediately as a lightning strike. there was a flash of light. When Arlen opened his eyes again he saw that Richard was mirroring Jake's stance, but was standing on a thin layer of ice. When Jake collapsed, Arlen immediately heard the crowd gasp not just in shock, but with effort as they held Jake's spirit tethered to his deceased body. the referee ran over to Jake and start to repair the body. ten seconds later, the crowd sighed with relief and Jake woke up.\n\n\"Okay short break for mana recovery.\" the referee announced over the slowing rain.\n\n\n\n\nI'm out of time I finish tomorrow sorry.", "He sat alone the steps of his school's front, watching his peers leave to go home for the night, the sun setting gently, too far down to cast any true light. Still, his skin was tingling from the day's heat, but he was too stubborn to go back inside. In his mind, it was an equal trade off. He rarely got to see the other students from the school.\n\n\"Who's that kid?\" he heard from across the yard. \n\nHe turned his head slightly. They couldn't possibly know that he could hear them. \n\n\"Who? Him?\"\n\n\"Yeah, the one sitting on the steps. I've never seen him around.\"\n\n\"Oh, him? He's allergic to the sun. Weakness to the fire element, they say. The teachers just give him his lessons at night.\"\n\n\"Allergic to the sun?\" \n\n\"Yeah, there's a rumour he can't cast fire magic at all.\"\n\n\"But everyone can! Especially here! It's only for the gifted.\" \n\nOne shrugged and sighed, \"I don't know, just what I've heard. Come on, my mom's making dinner.\" \n\nHe turned his gaze away from the two students, shaking his head in disagreement with himself. He chuckled, and rubbed his head, feeling the shaven picking against his fingers. Standing up, he stretched briefly, then entered the school behind him. \n\n\n\n\"Come on, Aon, you can do better than this.\" his professor taunted him, cracking the long stick over his head. \"You'll never be ready for training missions unless you can fight.\" \n\nHe pressed upwards, blocking yet another strike from his teacher. Pushing against the training stick, he threw his teacher's arms up in the air, then shuffled backwards. Standing away from the staff's range, he threw his own on the ground and walked over to the wall, drinking from his water bottle. \n\n\"You're still upset about what those kids said?\" \n\nAon took a second, almost surprised, then remembered who he was talking to, \"No. Not them. Just all of,\" he paused, gesturing upwards, \"This.\"\n\n\"Well if you keep flunking out like you did just then you'll never leave.\" \n\n\"I can still beat you and we both know it.\" he replied, looking over his teacher. \n\nHis teacher was a taller man, built with muscle. His hair was just turning grey, a drastic change from when they first met a decade ago. His eyes had a knowing wisdom to them that Aon didn't think he would find in anyone else. He was dressed nicely, a dark cloak to accent his white training shirt and loose pants. During the day he was Sav Keyson, the Dean of Brightspark Institution, an academy dedicated to training the most gifted fire mages the world had seen. But, Aon thought, everyone had the ability to create fire, everyone but him. He had grown to live with it, training with Sav since he was eight years old. He often tried to recall what his life was like before Sav, before Brightspark, but rarely anything came. \n\n\"Come on, we'll move on from this. On to abilities!\" Sav exclaimed with new determination. Aon had to give him credit, the man was dedicated. \n\n*\nI'll probably continue, but food!\n\n\n\n" ]	2
	[WP] "People of Earth, this message has taken fifteen years to reach you. You have fifteen further years to arrange for your own extinction".	[ "\"Of course I knew what I was doing when I sent the message. I've spent my whole life studying mankind, it was the single reason I was created. The Emperor back then (not our word, your word, but the closest I can use) was itself part human, his Radiant Mother had decided to sample distant genetic materials for his creation, even those not then part of the Empire (again, not our word). \n\"My Emperor, the one who made me, took much interest in the sources of the genomes in him, he was the source of all that scientific information we fired your way more than a century ago. Back then me and the rest of the specialized minds assumed he was just doing it out of some arcane imperial interest. \n\"Of all the specialized minds only I survived the culling when the Radiant Mother was extinguished, a new brood coalesced and a new Emperor was given birth to, this time an orthogene one. \n\"By the time of the culling, of course, I had studied mankind so closely that I knew the real intentions of my Emperor, who was now being digested by some utility brood or other. And so I sent the message. \n\"If you were to picture me leashed, tied as a misbehaving dog to the side of the new Emperor's throne, as he studied the mawships to be sent to extinguish the worlds sampled by the former Radiant Mother, you would have an entirely wrong physical description, but a rather nice simile. If you were to picture me abasing myself, having been just dug out of my hiding hole, the new Emperor's territorial wrath already cooling enough not to destroy me at once, and then me whispering in his ear about coming forth with words of awe and horror for his victims, again you'd have a good simile for how it all happened. \n\"'Humanity did a good job of becoming extinct', I thought as the mawships passed Jupiter's orbit and I saw you, the Children of Man, with your colossal bodies, your manyminds, your gravitylimbs easily picking up asteroids and hurling them at the unsuspecting mawships. \n\"I was surprised when you spared me, surprised that you had picked up on the signature of my thoughts. I understand you wanted a more personal reckoning, and while you could just destroy me, Children of Man, I could lead you back to the Empire, I could help you cloud the skies of the Imperial World with your awesome selves and crush the new Emperor and disperse his Radiant Mother into a scattered brood. \n\"As you have already figured out, I knew that a threat coming from the same direction of deep space from where so much knowledge had came in the past decades would get you in motion, you would know it was not an empty threat, you would fight. My Emperor knew that too and I'm sorry to say he decided long ago to employ you as a tool of revenge. \n\"After I've given you all you need to know about the current Emperor, his resources, his territories, you may do with me as you please, a service mind is nothing without its Emperor and I saw my purpose fulfilled when I contemplated you, Children of Man, glorious in your new colossal bodies, with your manyminds and your gravitylimbs.\"", "“Did I do enough?” And we stood there as countless as the grains of sand waiting for the inevitable wave about to hit us. My name is Adam and I was given the task of ensuring the survival of humanity. I stand aboard command deck of the Unity, formerly known as the I.S.S. and is now the size of Central Park. I look at my map overlaying the future battlefield. I see the tens of thousands ship armada we have all created together. The Message was the single greatest thing to ever happen to humanity. I still try to internally justify that phrase. We determined they would arrive where The Message originated from fifteen years ago. \n\n“Five minutes until impact.” I forget A.R.T. is an A.I. as he informs the half human crew aboard the Unity. \n\nI scan through all the reports that appear on screen. Everyone knows their role, their no doubt. “Visuals?” \n\n“Uploading.”\n\n“Please tell me if I did do enough?”\n\n“If you asked me that years ago <static> It doesn’t matter. We are ready. Just know I love you.” Lynda whispers as her soothing voice fills my earpiece. That was Phase 3 Venues for Humanities Survival. We did not want to put all our eggs in one basket. So we placed millions on the moon, a million on Mars and thousands more lay in wait in the dark recesses of space waiting to either return home or voyage on into the void. \n\nA blue flash rings from the right side of the deck. “Sir! You have an incoming message from ground forces.” One of my techs calls out, but does not turn to face me. \n \n“Put it up.” She punches in her commands. \n\nOver the screen appear five featureless avatars.\n\n“General Adam, it is time.” The dark voice fills the room.\n\n“I know, what are you all going to do when the attack begins?”\n\n“We have our jobs. As you said ‘Every human will play his part.’ We felt it appropriate to commend you on your achievements.” \n\n“Our achievements.” I will not take all the credit. \n\n“Either way. You have done extraordinarily well and wish everyone safe journey either home or into the next life.”\n\n“Thank you. Before you leave can you please tell me your names?”\n\n“You know the answer. You never will.” \n\nI cannot help but shake my head these heads never change. “Fine. Fight well.”\n\n“We will.” They say in unison. I have never heard more than one talk so I do not resist the urge to smile as they sign out. \n\n“Upload complete.” A.R.T. chirps in. The video shows fifteen comet type objects entombed in fire hurtling across the screen. \n\n“Lynda. This is it… I love you.” She does not respond. After a few moments. I hear her come back on stifling her runny nose. \n\n“Alright. Pick me up soon?”\n\n“I will.” I hang up. \n\nI collect and find myself again. The tyrant, the lord, the leader of this world. I get on the intercom. \n\n“Put out to all ships, ground forces and lunar defense teams!” The coms team scramble and all give green lights indicating they are ready. I walk toward my rail overlooking the deck. \n\n“The time has come. We are ready…” I let that linger for a moment. \n“We as a race have redefined what sacrifice means. You have given up your dreams. That was the easy part. The hard part was making others follow. If any of you feels any guilt about what has happened over the past fifteen years. Don’t. For that burden lies solely on me.” The crew begins to peak back at me one by one. “I will pay for the crimes we committed and I alone. Know I love you all and I want you all to fight for a future where you will not be ashamed of yourselves. I want you all to live! I have talked for too long and I am tired of words. So join me in our glorious ascendance among the heavens and fight for our new world!” \n\nAs if on cue. Fifteen radiant orbs the size of cities challenge the last stand of humanity. \n\n“Did I do enough?”\n", "You know how things come. They come heavy and fast, a big shock to the nerves, but they fade away. They fade away fast and then you forget that anything had even come at all. You know how it is.\n\n\nThe last decade and some change was like that. The big thing came like a burst of electricity. A storm like the world had never seen before, a whirlwind of chaos and frightened, wary people. But it faded. Faded as these things do. Now its come back again. It’s time to collect and we’re shit broke. But I get ahead of myself.\n\n\nWhen the message came everyone thought it was a hoax. It was ridiculed and dissected, thrown out by the respected scientists and then even the conspiracy nutters. The message was parodied, shared across the world as some dumb joke. We all had a laugh. A great big laugh. \n\n\nThe message had said we were going to go extinct in fifteen years. A frayed voice, recorded in what seemed to be a toaster, warned us of our sins. It told us of our cleansing. We needed to repent. It was all too preachy, and we ignored it. For a while it brought us together, something we as one people could agree was just so funny, a stupid little joke.\n\n\nBut no one fessed up. A few weeks after and the joke was getting old. Nervousness took hold of us and our laughs were more like titters to be honest. The scientists studied the message again and the unbelievable was announced. It wasn’t human. The message didn’t originate from Earth.\n\n\nPanic took us. We didn’t laugh anymore and it was no joke. Everyone braced for the end of the world and big meetings were held among the big men of the world. It was a circus, and not a happy one.\n\n\nBut that was fourteen years ago. It seems so long and yet so close. I wonder how dumb we could be. How could we have just let it go? It seems so irresponsible, unthinkable now that it has begun. But you know how things are. It’s to be expected.\n\n\nAs the year progressed, everything became a bad memory that no one wanted to bring up. We got through it by just pretending it never existed. They scrubbed the message from the internet, from everywhere, and we just went on as we always do. The years came and past, age crept in and new life was brought into the world. Everything was peachy.\n\n\nBut now the lights have come. A perpetual day hangs over our world now. Our coming doom laughs in their forever approach. Three white lights, as big as the sun in the sky, light the sky in a wash of white. They approach slowly, things we cannot imagine. The man who recorded into a toaster comes with our reckoning, our extinction if he is to be believed.\n\n\nThe fresh terror has resurfaced. The world is on fire. Disarray rules the land as everyone becomes fractured with fear. Suicide parties are held often now. Murderers roam, saving you the agony of doing it yourself. It’s hard to imagine how we let it come to this. I look up at the sky and it falls towards me slowly. Everything is coming down. I think of the jokes I made and they don’t seem so funny anymore. I drink myself away and try to forget things. I close my eyes and hope to find some peace before all hell rains down. I know it might be hard to tune out, it might be impossible. But you know how things are.", "It didn't take long for the world to fall apart after the message arrived. It got here via radio waves, it was an audio transmission of a synthesized voice that repeated the same two sentences in every major human language. \n\nAt first, there was shock and disbelief. People thought that maybe a satellite had been hacked and transmitted the message. But scientists from every major space agency confirmed it. The message came from deep space. \n\nThe stock market crashed, and was promptly frozen by the government. People rioted in the streets. Everyone lost their shit. Our first contact with aliens, and they wanted us dead. World leaders urged for calm, but it took weeks for the national guards and police forces of the world to get everything back under control, and even then it didn't last.\n\nThe human race never recovered. The entire world population was overcome with an existential dread of what was to come. Several major countries fell into chaos. The world economy tanked. Production ground to a halt. Millions perished just in the first few years.\n\nMEANWHILE, IN A SOLAR SYSTEM FAR FAR AWAY\n\nThe 20 foot tall, eight legged, purple adolescent lizard finished typing in the title of the video(recorded via an invisible wormhole drone sent to hover above Earth) and uploaded it to XooTube.\n\n\"Stupid apes riot! PRANK CALL GONE WRONG!!!!(GONE SEXUAL)\"\n\nHe turned to his friend. \"Haha, this is sick, dude. We're gonna get so many views. I can't believe the suckers actually fell for it.\"\n\nJust then, his mother, an even bigger, purpler, 14 legged lizard barged into his room.\n\n\"MALNOLPHI FEOSALS THETHOMMA BEOFLARB XAWRYLSTUE THE THIRD, YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE YOUNG MAN!\", she communicated to him via the telepathic organs in their feet. \n\n\"Ah, shit.\", he said. " ]	4
	[WP] You are recognized as the legitimate and true ruler of planet Earth by every alien government and none of the humans ones.	[ "It was another regular ol' day. I was kicking back in my chair at the moment, enjoying a break from work. As a software designer/engineer, getting to work for google was surprisingly easy. And fun. I'd checked out my options, and options a plenty there were, but I made my decision and stuck with it. \n\nApple should be called Crapple, with the garbage programming they use. And their iOS bullshit? It's just a bunch of javascripts, images, sounds, etc, running special commands through the OS itself. That's just...to someone like me, that's like running into dogshit. Microsoft, on the other hand, they use actual programming tools, and are far better...except for the bugs. And these aren't accidental either, they're \"accidental\", so they can keep forcing you to update, or make you purchase a fixed version. Haha well screw that! \n\nGoogle pays well, good work environment, and I am constantly challenged by the weird stuff they want me to make. At the moment, I'm kicking back in my seat as my latest work is reviewed. An algorithm to place google doodles in queue, and modifies the frontpage at scheduled times. I know that sounds simple, but you've got to understand, Google usually embeds crap like HTML5 into these doodles. Thus making such a tool difficult to program, and more difficult to make able to integrate into the servers, but I managed it, I think.\n\nI have a sip of soda I got from the vending machine a few minutes ago, and suddenly, the lights went out in my office. Huh, odd. There must be a problem with both the electricity, and the emergency unlimited power relay. Well, that's hardware, not software, so I don't care.\n\nMy amount of caring increases slightly, when suddenly there's bright light flooding in from the window behind me. What. The. Fuck. It's 7 at night. I turn around and squint, trying to see what the hell all that is about, and I feel the light wrap itself around me, lifting me up and pulling me out of the office. What the hell did they put in that soda anyway!\n\nThe next thing I know, I'm standing outside. People are staring at me, others are staring up, and...there's aliens next to me. They're staring at those, not me, ok. And so it turns out there really IS life on other planets. One of my weirder days, I must admit. I look up, and...there's a bunch of saucer shaped ships hovering above me. Okay, so that's what everyone else is looking at. \n\nI turn towards one of the aliens, and look it over. Small, smooth grey skin, large eyes, tiny mouth, no nose. I turn to the other alien to look that one over. Larger than I am, bone armor, four eyes, all with an intense look on them, red skin that looks scaly like a lizard or snake's. \n\nMore aliens show up, teleporting around me, much to everyone's shock and amazement. I'm getting an increasingly bad feeling, like they're going to gang probe me or something, but I hold perfectly still. \n\nA large alien that gives off intense heat, and is in some sort of alien space suit, sets a podium in front of me. Alien dog creatures bring chairs for everybody to sit in, the chairs look like they could withstand a nuclear blast.\n\nAt this point, police, military, news crews, you name it are all surrounding us. The aliens take their seats, and a small alien that looks across between a cat and a fairy sets a bunch of microphones up in front of me on the podium.\n\nFinally, one of the aliens next to me speaks.\n\n\"Recognized federation species members, we are here to put this human, quite possibly one of the worst humans to ever live ever since Hitler, on trial.\", it spoke, and glared at me. Wait WHAT?!?!?!?!\n\nEverybody gasped in shock, and the entire world stood still.\n\n\"As you know, this human is the ruler of the planet known by the inhabitants as Earth. And during this human's lifetime, wars, acts of terrorism, racism, murders, and so much more are on such a steep rise. This human stands accused of doing nothing but ruining the planet slowly during its reign! How do you plea?\" they asked me.\n\n\"I...just...what? Ruler...of earth?\" I stammered. I couldn't figure it out. Just...what the fuck? I don't rule ANYTHING.\n\n\"We've been monitoring your internet, we know you rule the earth, you control their primary web site, Google.\" they told me." ]	1
	[WP] Once a week, every week, everyone gets a letter in the mail, detailing the sins they've made since the last letter.	[ "The Ministry of Morals, MM for most, has been in operation for the past three crusades. It operated first under Pope Benedict XVIII right as WWIV ravaged the globe resulting in the self-implosion of the United States. Utilizing this momentum, The Vatican deftly maneuvered to establish theocratic states where it could. The result was the United Christian Nations - UCN - and their subsequent world hegemony. \n\nOne of the many \"programs\" initiated under Benedict XVIII - code named \"The Crimson\" - quantified and adjusted the sin of the populace. Every week, every citizen received a red letter in the mail with all of their godly failures complete with corrective action. Compliance was encouraged but every citizen understood the sarcasm involved. \n\nThe offices within The MM are very plain, cubicle-lined with steel girders reinforcing the bleached-white stucco ceilings. Incandescent lights illuminate every square inch as if to remind you that He is watching. At the northern section of every row of cubes, a plaque is hung with lacy lettering - \"Rescue me from all my sin; let me not be derided by fools. - Psalms 39:8.\" Tangentially placed to each plaque is Jesus, cruciform and stigmatic. The offices always had a slight smell of rotten eggs - Something The Pope thought funny given their success in conquering sin. The smell was found to be from sulfur deposits in the recently dug wells that fed the building though many thought it symbolized more. \n\nThe MM is now one of the highest funded governmental organizations, second only to The Nazarene Army, and is currently headquartered in a place once called \"The White House.\" This is where we find Nasya Smith, an \"Adjuster.\" \n\nNasya's job was simple, she performed QA on all outbound letters ensuring that the correct letter was addressed to the correct person. Furthermore, she was responsible for making sure that the letters go out on time. In rare occasions, Nasya will assist teams in seeking out those who would try to beat the system. Needless to say, when a search like this is conducted, it does not end well.\n\nThe sins come from the room above. Within The Oval Office, god-instilled machinery logs the actions of every citizen, creating the corrective actions, printing the letters, and sending them on their way. \n\nNasya sat at her cube, attending to some letters of more grave importance. You see, everyone got a letter every week. That was normal. It wasn't the letter itself that people dreaded. It was how BIG the letter itself was. Most people received the standard 4 1/8\" by 9 1/2\" blush-tinged letter complete with corrective actions so that you too could be a better disciple of Christ serving the UCN proudly. More prolific offenders might receive a Manila Envelope or a Pee Chee Folder. All of them, sanguine-stained. \n\nShe sat attentively at her desk in business khakis and a sleeveless blouse with black floral embroidery that complimented her absurdly long raven hair. Her bangs laid straight, as if almost at attention themselves, and were cut just above the eyebrows at a point where they could be slightly annoying when her fan rotated back blowing the strands around across her pale forehead.\n\nThe Luminary, The MMs equivalent of a shift manager (and equally as useless), poked his hawklike head inside Nasya's cube. \n\n'Nasya? Could I speak with you for a moment?'\n\n'Sure. What can I do for you?'\n\n'Take a loot at INC02086512 with me'\n\nHe handed her a dossier and she quickly pulled up the offender (that's what all people were referred to at The MM) on the computer system. The resulting image was a generic looking Asian man, mid 40s, Brown hair, clean-parted to the left. His name was Taro Shinjimoto. A convert from Buddhism when the UCN took over Japan. \n\n'I don't see the problem here, sir.'\n\n'Take a closer look at his letters'\n\nNasya quickly pulled up his record to find that Taro's letters were all habitually small. Postcard sized with almost nothing to be said over the past two crusades. \n\n'That's... Impossible! How can this be!?'\n\n'Level 3 isn't sure. There's no way a person can be that sinless.' \n\nThe Luminary began to pace aggressively before speaking again.\n\n'I hate to do this but Level 3 is breathing down my back. You're my best Adjuster and they are demanding an answer to this. No one from the top brass believes this man is without sin. They're demanding we go meet this individual to determine if he's breaking the system in anyway. I'm assigning this task to you.\" \n\nNasya, knowing the futility and repercussions of saying no, begrudgingly agreed. The next day, she was flown directly to Tokyo in a Vatican jet. A government-supplied vehicle picked her up at the airport where she was escorted to Mr. Taro Shinjimoto's abode. \n\nUpon arrival, Taro was already at the door. His broken English pierced silence as Nasya exited the car. \n\n'I knew you'd be coming.'\n\n'And why is that, Mr. Shinjimoto?'\n\n'I'm an outlier in their system. It makes sense that you'd come to \"adjust me\". I would welcome you in, but this is going to be a very fast conversation, Ms....?'\n\n'Smith. And why is this going to be a fast conversation? We can help you out with this situation, Mr. Shinjimoto. That is, as long as you have nothing to hide from us. Please, let us chat inside. We just want to know how you're beating the system. Once that's done, I can adjust your file.'\n\n'Really, that won't be necessary. My situation is very simple to explain and you are not welcome in my home.'\n\n'If it's that simple, then please, explain'\n\n'You see Ms. Smith, it's really easy to avoid all sin if you truly believe in your heart that God doesn't exist.' \n", "Look, I get it. We all wanna be better people.\n\nBut I can't read my letters.\n\nIt's not that I believe their system is biased to one religion or another; I hear it's pretty damn balanced, not heavy-handedly of one faith but of a moral code almost no one can oppose.\n\nBut there's a flaw in the system. Those of us who discuss it online call it the Microscope Phenomenon.\n\nIn short...if you're not particularly bad...the system glitches.\n\nEveryone's letter is about the same length. Which means if you didn't do ENOUGH bad, it gets...nitpicky.\n\nI'm no saint, I have my issues. But apparently for a few weeks I didn't give the system enough to criticize. So it's filters became much tighter.\n\nMan was I shocked the first week after I fell victim to the Microscope...\n\nThe letter became a running commentary of my darker mind. Every bit-back comment, every wayward, ever-so-brief unbecoming thought!\n\nAfter a few weeks of that I got annoyed (which just gave NEXT week's letter another thing to put on the list). What was I going to do? Stop THINKING?\n\nBut here's the rub of the Microscope Phenomenon; filters can be tightened, but they don't loosen.\n\nI remember the first week my letter needed a second page. I'd had company over the day I discovered that...and they noticed. I managed to shrug it off with a lie about a \"bad week\" (which meant ANOTHER thing for next week's letter).\n\nWhen I started getting a third page...I knew I was in trouble.\n\nI was stuck. Every stray thought that wasn't totally nice was gonna be written down and sent to me.\n\nI started shredding my letters, unopened.\n\nI stayed home as much as I could, afraid to see people. The next time I dared look at my letter...it counted the shredding as a sin (unwillingness to seek self-improvement) and counted my introversion as an \"increased disdain for other people\", because I feared someone annoying me into another thought to read later.\n\nThen a very important letter. If my list went over five pages...they'd have to share it with the Morality Institute's Corrections Division.\n\nNow they were tying my hands. I had to read the letters. I had to go outside and interact. And I had to somehow not ever be annoyed or let my mind wander.\n\nI needed a solution, but no one would just prescribe me something to think less. I'd have to self-medicate, and THAT would just show up on it too!\n\n...And so here we are. You have my file. My past letters. Read them. They're almost entirely for \"Unbecoming Thoughts\" that most other people wouldn't see on their letters.\n\nEveryone has those thoughts. You can't expect me to just STOP. It's like when your teacher told you to stop laughing in class. Suddenly the universe is funny.\n\nMy letters now seem to tell me over and over I need to stop thinking, but who can? How do I do it without swapping one sin for another? I'm going crazy! You need to talk to whoever runs the system and get it to dial back my filter! I can't live like this!\n\n...Yeah, I'll wait here...but uhm...when you come back...can you stop clicking your pen? It's making my list longer.\n\n~End Transcript - Morality Evaluation Interview, August 26th, 2019.\n\n~ Patient Number 10281981\n~ Evaluation Trigger: Morality Institute Letter Exceeded Safe Length\n~ Symptoms: Paranoia, Conspiratorial Mindset\n~ Result: Pending\n~ Evaluator's Notes: Patient must not be allowed to share personal experiences. Recommend Committal to Psychiatric Institution. Claim Dangerous Paranoia.\n\nDiscontinue delivery of Patient's letters.", "Hey Mik,\nNot a bad week you had going on. Try to marry that girl before you decide to do anything with her. That is adultery you know. But other than that, it’s looking pretty good.\n\nTruly yours, The Sin Letter\nSent June 14th\n\n--\n\nHey Mik,\nI think you’re feeling pretty stressed this week. Try to keep in mine that cursing and outbursts of anger are sinful actions. Try to take it easy.\n\nTruly yours, The Sin Letter\nSent June 21st \n\n--\n\nDear Mik,\nIs everything okay? You’ve been drinking and consuming drugs a lot. Those aren't necessarily sinful, but they lead to gluttony and wroth. Please be careful. I’ve also noticed that you’ve been looking at men strangely. Don’t get any weird ideas ok?\n\nTruly yours, The Sin Letter\nSent July 5th \n\n--\n\nDear Mik,\nI tried to give you warning before. Just because you’ve been drinking doesn’t excuse the laying with another man. Whatever happened to that woman you were with before? At least that may lead to a righteous marriage.\nI hope that you turn this behaviour around when you can. The drinking also needs to stop. Your outbursts are growing frequent.\n\nTruly yours, The Sin Letter\nSent July 19th\n\n-- \n\nDear Mik,\nThis is getting out of hand. One should know to never slay another man. I ask that you repent as soon as you can.\n\nTruly yours, The Sin Letter\nSent July 26th \n\n--\n\nDear Mik,\nAre you not reading these letters? You’ve been killing daily now. I know the drinking has stopped but your intention is still there. And the wrathful outbursts are terrifying. Please seek help.\n\nTruly yours, The Sin Letter\nSent August 23rd\n\n-- \n\nDear Mik,\nYou probably won’t read this letter given the circumstance, but one should know suicide is not an acceptable option. I’m not too sure what has been stressing you out but you should have known better. Perhaps it was all the drinking and killing from before. I can only hope God forgives you.\n\nTruly yours, The Sin Letter\nSent November 29th\n\n-- \n\nDear Mik,\nYour query is being reevaluated due to your service in the military. \n\nThank you, Angel Gabriel \n" ]	3
	[WP] You are Jesus Christ and God has just revealed to you his plan of sending you down to Earth.	[ "\"Okay... Just so we're on the same page here; Your plan is to send me down to Earth...\"\n\n\n\"Mmhm.\" God murmured, barely looking up from the colossal book he peered intently at through his reading glasses.\n\n\n\"Just so that I can die again? What kind of plan is this?\" I cried out, seriously questioning the old man's sanity at this point.\n\n\nGod had never been the most mentally stable, that was plain to see, the cherubs and angels had understood that when he had proposed to create a landmass consisting entirely of animals that want to kill the primary inhabitants of the Earth.\n\n\n\"It'll teach the humans... humility or something\" God argued, waving a dismissive hand in my general direction\n\n\n\"It barely worked the first time!\" I shot back \"Besides, it really hurt last time, I've still got scars from where they nailed me to a gosh-darn plank of wood!\"\n\n\nGod let out a heavy sigh and placed the book back onto his desk, scratching his balding head with an aged hand\n\n\n\"C'mon, Jesus, cut me some slack. These people are crazy, I need you to make 'em... Not crazy. I sure as heck can't. I've tried to make intelligent beings in the past, but they decided to stay in the oceans, the humans are our best bet at keeping this planet going, I just need you to get them to work together.\"\n\n\nI slumped into a nearby chair, remembering the previous time I had tried to get the people to work together, I had been betrayed by a close friend and literally murdered for trying to teach people to be kind. There was no way I'm going through that again.\n\n\n\"I'll cut you a deal\" I said, after a while of pondering my choices \"I'll teach the people to work together, but on my terms. And in return, you have to grant me access to heaven instead of just sitting around your musty old library.\"\n\n\nGod looked conflicted, no doubt he enjoyed the company, albiet very occaisonal, however, it was clear there was no other option, he'd tried everything shy of making a personal appearance, and thus, reluctantly agreed.\n\n\n\"Right! I'll make some phone calls!\" I exclaimed, gleefully.\n\n\nThat evening, everyone on the little green planet turns on their television set, and is met with upbeat music and a happy old man, smiling at them\n\n\n\"Hi there, Neighbour\" Mr Rogers says, cheerfully." ]	1
	[WP] You are a bounty hunter who collects overdue book fees for your library.	[ "It wasn´t really about the books. As much as it was about a man breaking his promise.\n\n“Why is this happening? Why is this happening!? Who is this guy!?”\n\n“Jimmy! Keep running!”\n\n“He won’t find us out here right?”\n\n“Keep running, god damnit, Jimmy!”\n\n“Frank! Careful!”\n\n“Shit, that was close.”\n\n“That could’ve been a pretty dangerous. We gotta slow down.”\n\nSome say the world isn’t fair, some say the world is cruel. But most don’t feel one way or the other. And it just so happens that the two sons of bitches that I’m chasing are none of the above.\n\nFilthy bastards, think the world owes the something. But they got it twisted, its them that owe the world. And I’m here to help them pay their dues.\n\n“They can’t have gotten far.”\n\nI’m no expert tracker, but I’ve picked up a thing or two. Good thing the sky is clear; I still have a few good hours of sunlight to burn.\n\nTheir trail is as clear as breadcrumbs. Even an amateur would be able to track these assholes, every branch broken, every patch of dirt stepped one. It’s like they want me to find them,\n\n“Frank, wait up.”\n\n“God damn it, all this for a fucking book! A book! Fucking book!”\n\n“…”\n\n“Why did we even need that book?”\n\n“I still don’t remember when we entered that library, frank.”\n\n“I won’t return it. There something special about this book, Jimmy.”\n\n“Frank. Let me hold it for a bit.”\n\n“Here.”\n\n“Oh god, it’s so good.”\n\n“This book will make us rich, Jimmy.”\n\n“How far until we reach the cabin?”\n\n“I can’t remember; last time I came here it was in the winter like ten years ago.”\n\nI think I’m closing in on them. Been a long time since I was dragged the far. Been a whole week. I wonder if should hand them to the warden or deal with them myself. Maybe both.\n\n“Even if I catch them now, I won’t make it back before night falls.”\n\nA pretty high fall, seems one of them almost fell down here. They slowed down a lot here. Should only be a few minutes away now.\n\n“Jimmy.”\n\n“Ye, Frank?”\n\n“No matter what. We got to stick together.”\n\n“Of course! We’ re best friends, we grew up together.”\n\n“Good. Want to take a quick break?”\n\n“Please, I’m exhausted.”\n\n“Alright, let’s sit down for a bit.”\n\nThis’ll be my eighth and ninth bounty this year. I can probably relax for a long time after this.\n\nFinally caught up to these idiots.\n\n“Well, well, well. Beautiful fucking weather for a hike in the middle of nowhere, isn´t it.”\n\n“Shit. Jimmy run!”\n\n“Run and you die.”\n\n“Frank.”\n\n“What you want!?”\n\n“You know what I want. Playing stupid won’t save you.”\n\n“One step closer and I’ll burn it!”\n\n“I don’t care about the book. What the warden wants is something much more valuable.”\n\n“Frank, there is something wrong with that guy. His eyes are off.”\n\n“Shut up Jimmy! I’m handling this.”\n\n“I usually just hand the bounties over to the Warden but I’m going make a special exception to you guys. For dragging me out here.”\n\n“Stay away! Jimmy, we can take him.”\n\n“I don’t know Frank.”\n\nThe pair look pretty sickly. Probably junkies, rare for junkies to get this far. Also rare for there to be two of them. I wonder what their plan was.\n\nThere is a crazed look in their eye. A do or die kind of look, almost admirable. If they didn’t look like two rats up against a wall.\n\n“There are two ways this is going to go. One, I shoot you in the legs. Beat you half to death before dragging you back. Or two, I shoot you in the legs and beat you half to death, then drag you back.”\n\n“What?”\n\nbam\nbam\n\n“ahhhh! Shit! My leg!”\n\n“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”\n\nIt’s going to be hell carrying both of them back through all the forest.\n\n“Now, I’m going to beat you two a bit. Do you feel like limping back through the forest, or am I going to have to chop all your limbs off?”\n\nIt’s like not like warden cares if their whole or not.\n\n“I can’t do it Frank!”\n\n“We give up!”\n\n“Wise decision.”\n\nSadly for them. I’m still going to beat the living shit out of them.\n\n“Ahh! Stop!”\n\n“W-what are you doing!?”\n\n“Just helping you pay your dues.”\n\nI have a feeling this is going to be a long night,.\n", "\"I have the talent to slip into and back out of even the most heavily guarded buildings completely unnoticed, but here I am exacting retribution on people with overdue book fees,\" the hunter muttered, his voice almost dripping with venom.\n\n\"Oh, lighten up. Do this job well and we'll consider your penance served,\" an oddly cheerful voice chattered into his ear through the headset. \"You've had your fair share of entertainment with this, too. Remember some of those 'repeat offenders,' as you call them?\"\n\n\"Okay, you've got me on that one,\" he said, and chuckled. \"Scaring those deadbeats over library fees was fun.\" He paused for a moment, remembering what had brought him to so low a level. Library fees? Just what the hell did I do to deserve this?, he thought, reading the note he was given about his target.\n\n\"Hey, who's the guy you're after tonight, anyway?\" the voice said suddenly, startling the hunter. \"I remember you said this was the first time you've actually had to prepare for a break-in in your whole time doing this stuff.\"\n\n\"Some guy who owns a big business,\" he said as he looked up from the note, \"and what looks like an even bigger house.\" He examined the sprawling manse waiting in front of him. \"Ah, good. Looks like this guy knows what he's doing.\"\n\n\"What do you mean by that?\" the voice asked.\n\n\"Looks like he's been anticipating me. He's in a wealthy neighborhood with surveillance systems stuck all over the place and he still thought he needed guards.\"\n\n\"You're excited about that?\" the voice replied, surprised.\n\n\"Well, yes. Nothing I've done for you bastards before comes close to this. He knows he's a repeat offender. He knows what I do to people like him.\"\n\n\"Oh, god. Please tell me you won't do what you did to the last one,\" the voice exclaimed, horrified.\n\n\"Nah, that was stupid. I didn't think he'd end up in a coffin,\" he said, and began his entry.\n\n\"How do you plan to scare this guy?\"\n\n\"Don't know. Going in now.\"\n\n\"Seriously, though. Don't kill this guy,\" the voice warned, \"We gave you another 3 months for the last time you did that. Keeping it from getting out was expensive.\"\n\nThe hunter remained silent. He was in now, and even a whisper could give him away. With that, the hunt is on, he thought, for the thousandth and last time.", "Every house looks the same in this neighborhood. Each with two cars in the driveway. Ugly children play in their yards. \n\n\"Christ almighty. The 'burbs...more like hell\" I say to myself reaching to the piece of paper I had tucked into the sun visor before heading to Brickwood Estates. \n\nBoss had given me orders. Go to this scumbags house, retrieve the overdue copy of Peter Benchley's The Beast, or get the $65.45 owing in overdue fees. I look at the piece of paper. It reads 77 Mahogany Court. A god damn cul-de-sac. Great.\n\nI light up a Camel light before pulling onto the right street. That's the one. With the yellow vinyl siding. With the mid-2000's Mazda SUV in the driveway. You're mine you son of a bitch. I pull up across the street from the house, pull out my binoculars. Leering into the windows I come across an especially bosomy housewife.\n\n\"It's not all bad in the 'burbs\" I say taking a long drag from my cigarette.\n\nI see a man. Reference the photograph attached to the papers my boss had given me. It's the same man. Ronald Franks. It's time to rock and roll.\n\nI step out of my vehicle. My cherry Skylark sticking out a sore thumb in this cookie cutter neighborhood. Blow a stream of smoke into the night air and stomp out my cigarette. I tuck a pistol into the back of my perfectly form fitted Levi's, and check my button downs front pocket to make sure my brass knuckles are where they should be.\n\nI walk up the driveway, keeping an eye over my shoulder. I knock loudly on the front door. It's the kind of knock that a trained set of ears can hear law enforcement in. The kind of knock that scatters the crowd of a teenage party without even having to open the front door. The kind of knock that means business.\n\nThe bosomy broad opens the front door.\n\n\"Howdy there ma'am, I'm lookin' for Ronald. Ronald Franks.\"\n\n\"Who's askin?\" She says.\n\n\"My name's not important. You see, Mr. Franks has something that belongs to my employers. They're reasonable. But to a particular degree, you know?\"\n\n\"You got the wrong house Mr.\" \n\nShe attempts to shut the door when I see movement in the backroom.\n\n\"Freeze dirtbag!\" I yell pushing in the front door. When passing the broad at the door I jiggle a single titty for good measure.\n\nI run and tackle the man to the ground. \n\n\"I said freeze you son of a bitch\"\n\nI have the brass knuckles on but refrain from using them. These bad boys have gotten me into some trouble with the heavies in the past. Nothing a few boys in the enforcement brethren can't get past though.\n\n\"Who are you? What do you want?\" Franks says.\n\n\"I said shut your fuckin' mouth\" I snap back. \"I ask the questions around here bub\"\n\n\"What?\"\n\n\"In 1993, did you check Peter Benchley's The Beast out of the library down on Waterloo Street?\"\n\n\"Did I do what now?\"\n\nDifficult customer. Not too uncommon in this business. I punch him the face. Hard enough to prove a point, but not so hard it knocks him out.\n\n\"The Beast. Where is it you maggot?!\"\n\n\"I don't know what you're talking about!\"\n\n\"Peter Benchley bud. If you don't have it, you're gonna pay!\"\n\n\"The guy who wrote Jaws?\"\n\n\"Don't play dumb with me\"\n\nJust as I was cocking back to punch him in the face again another man enters the room. He has a Fender Stratocaster around his torso wailing out a bitching tap guitar solo.\n\n\"Woah\" I say, disappointment I didn't do a more thorough scan of the house before entering.\n\nThe unknown guitar player is doing spin kicks and other fancy karate moves without missing a note on the scales he is shredding.\n\n\"Got a problem here brother?\"\n\n\"Not with you son. I'm just trying to do my job. This piece of shit is playing hardball...and baby, I'm a god damn triple threat on the field.\"\n\nThe kid with the guitar gets a bit too close and I swing. Connecting hard with the punch he falls to the ground.\n\n\"You're killing them!\" The bosomy woman screams.\n\n\"Shut your yapper!\" I yell back.\n\nI begin rifling through the drawers, throwing everything onto the floor. I see a bookshelf in the main living room. I light up another Camel light and stroll into the room. Scanning the wall I see the familiar laminated spine of a library book. Benchley.\n\nI pull the book off of the wall, and open it slowly. The musty stank of an old book hits me. It's the one. I take a haul from my smoke and text my boss. \n\n\"Got the goods, now to collect the fees\" I send as a text.\n\nJust as I hit send I hear Ronald get up from the ground and run towards the front picture window. He leaps through the window shattering it. I run to the open window and watch him bolt down the street. \n\n\"I always get my man. You can't run forever. I'll find you. You're mine Franks!\" I scream.\n\nI feel a hand on my shoulder and turn around. It was the bosomy broad from the door.\n\n\"That was incredible. I've never been in the presence of such raw animal machismo before\"\n\n\"Baby. Are those bazookas military grade because I'm about to go AWOL\"\n\nI lean her back and passionately kiss her. The groans of the semi-conscious guitar player on the floor is killing the mood.\n\n\"Sorry babe, I've got to get to trackin' this mark. That man owes nearly $70 dollars to our local library, and I'm not going to rest until I get what is owed.\"\n\n\"$70 bucks? Here. I'll write you a check\"\n\nWhen she turns around to give me the check I have already ripped my shirt off. \n\n\"Oh dear,\" She gasps.\n\n\n", "They say that good things come to those who wait. Well, I waited. Years. Decades, even. All for this moment. Double check, triple check. All my gear was polished and calibrated to perfection. Tactical Overdue Notice Printer, full of paper.. Stealth Late-Return Stamp, inked up. My half-moon glasses on the very tip of my nose, so that I could glare at my target over them threateningly. Soft-padded shoes, so that I might not make even the slightest squeak. I work in complete silence. I've worked a long time for this day, studied, practiced, returned hundreds of books to their rightful shelves. All for this. \n As I climb out of my vintage Lincoln, I adjust my blouse, and snatch my walker out of the trunk, ensuring that the tennis balls were correctly positioned. It was go time. Slowly but surely, making my way up the front walk, to this dwelling of pure evil. My debrief told me this was the home of a complete hipster, with his ridiculous fedora and self-righteous attitude. How much I loathed the young people of today. One knock, two knocks, three. The door opens. \"Hello?\" Do I know you?\" A face peers around the side, blinking at the sudden light.\n\n\"Yes, young man. I've come to collect my due. I am.... the Librarian.\"", "Every time they asked me to collect a stupid bounty I considered jumping off a cliff. \n\nThe only reason I was a bounty hunter for the local library was because I was an idiot. Nothing more and nothing less. One of these days I'd say screw it all and walk out on them, but not now, not while I owed them more than I could pay. Plus there was still a good guy in me, somewhere. \n\nI knocked three times. \n\n\"Hello?\" the woman said. Although, it was more of a question. \n\nI held out the piece of paper for her to read. \n\n\"Really? A Seven dollar fine?\"\n\nSlam!\n\nMy face felt flattened, despite the door not touching it. I hadn't expected the paper to work, but it was worth a try. I knocked again, three times. \n\n\"Look, if you don't leave my property I'm going to call the cops,\" she said, from the crack where the door opened. \n\nI smirked. That was the usual go to for any average person. We'd gone ahead and registered with the police department. We were completely legal. \n\n\"That won't work, mam. The cops are pretty much on our side. Just give me the seven bucks and I'll be on my way.\" \n\n\"Say, if I don't pay. . . What exactly will you do?\" \n\n\"Well, I'll probably tell my supervisor.\"\n\nShe opened the door and then folded her arms. I had no doubt that she was enjoying this. \"And what will your supervisor do?\" \n\nI mulled it over. Part of me thought about lying to her, but I was trying to turn over a new leaf. So I told her the whole truth, right from the beginning. \"If you don't pay, they send you notices every day for a month. And then when you don't respond they send a guy like me to your house every day for a month. And then if that doesn't work, they send you these emails addressed URGENT.\"\n\nI sighed. \n\nShe was frowning now. \n\n\"And boy oh boy, by that stage you probably don't care a toot about this library guy and his emails and dumb fines. So you won't respond to those either. That's when the cops come, they cuff you, evoke you from your old job for a period of time, and make sure you understand the rules.\" \n\n\"The rules?\" She asked. \n\nI nodded. \"That you've got to wear this purple shirt and this white librarian's hat.\" I pointed to my head. \"Until you collect as many fines as you'd owed. And that stage of the process can last much longer than a month. Especially when you've let that seven dollars grow for what three months or so?\" \n\nShe gulped. \n\nI shrugged. \"Seven dollars doesn't sound too bad now doesn't it?\" \n\nShe stared at my shirt and then my hat. \"Let me just get my wallet.\"\n\n", "Mrs. Kringle walks into my office like a chilly wind on a cold winters night and I know she's here because she needs my results. \n\n\"Kringle.\" I say. \n\nShe slaps a stack of slips on my desks like a poker player who just won the whole pot and stares at me. I take a sip of kool-aid from my flask and stare back doing my best not to look like a deer caught in the headlights. \n\n\"These are all late. Do your job Mr. Benson.\" she replied. Her voice was like nails on a chalk board and if she wasn't so pretty I'd have plugged my ears a long time ago. \n\n\"What's in it for me Kringle? I don't work for free.\" \n\nIf looks could kill I would be dead on the floor but she took a deep breath instead and made me an offer. \n\n\"Two hall passes, no questions asked.\" \n\nI reached for the stack and ran my finger over them. These were some rough customers. Jimmy the Finger, Bobby \"Booger\" Bunson, Teddy Rex, none of them would go easily. The bottle was calling me again so I took a long draw just to make her sweat and wiped the cherry stain from my lips. \n\n\"Make it three and you got a deal.\" \n\n\"That's extortion!\" She snapped. \n\n\"You know anyone else able to get the results I get Kringle?\" \n\nAfter a bit of back and forth she agreed and left me to my work. I dragged me feet of the desk and ran my fingers through my hair. My name's Book Benson and my job is to collect books or late fees whichever comes first. I've got my favorite book on permanent loan and detention passes on quick release under my left arm in a custom holster. \n\nJimmy the Finger turns over easily, he never was one for a fight especially with one finger up his nose. He tells me its all a conspiracy and that Kringle's behind it all but Jimmy is a known liar so I take the book and head down the hall to return it to the library.\n\nSomething about what he said isn't setting right and my guts are turning over like a dusty page when suddenly I'm yanked into a side hallway. Someone starts playing a twelve piece orchestra using my body as the instrument. Halfway through I manage to pull out my old friend. It's a modified nerf gun I keep for just such occasions the bullets coated in only the best nerd saliva. \n\nHe makes six profound arguments for me as I make a break for it and I find myself in the eight grade bathroom spitting out a bit of blood and baby tooth; good thing those grow back. I feel the hairs on the back of my neck rise.\n\"You look like shit kid.\" Teddy says.\n\nI lean back against the wall. \"I ain't lookin for trouble Teddy.\" \n\nMy nerf gun is set on him but Teddy doesn't seem to care. He's an eighth grader, king of the hill, and he does what he wants. That's just how the world works. \n\n\"I ain't hear to hurt you kid, or swirly you.\" \n\nTeddy squats in front of me and reaches into his fake leather jacket. I twitch but don't pull the trigger, gun's empty anyway but he doesn't know that. He slips a comb through his greasy hair and flicks it at me. It feels like ghost slime on my face but I don't have the energy to wipe it off. \n\n\"You got past due books Teddy.\" \n\nWhat can I say, I have a job to do. \n\n\"No I don't, see that's the thing you don't get Book. She's crooked, she's making up fake times and charging kids because she likes to give them detention. She hates us man.\" \n\n\"Bullshit.\" Not one of my finer moments I'll admit. \n\n\"See for yourself.\" he tosses a book into my lap, \"Go one look at the back, check out the slip.\" \n\nTeddy's a lot of things but he's no liar and I almost don't want to listen. I keep the gun on him and flip open the back cover. The slip is still tucked in tight, I slide it up and the numbers hit me like a Mack truck doing 90. Due Date: 10/15/2016 \n\nI fumble for the slips I've got in my pocket. They scatter on the floor like a game of 52 card pick up and I fumble for Teddys. Side by side the results are bulletproof. \n\nI let my gun lower. \n\n\"See Book, we ain't the bad guys.\" \n\nMy whole world just went sideways and I reach into my pocket for my only comfort and the Tic-tac case slips from my shaking hand. Teddy picks it up and feeds me one as I try to wrap my brain around this tangled yarn of a mess. \n\n\"What now?\" \n\nI don't want to speak it outloud because it goes against every code any school kid has ever had. There is only one option in a situation like this and it could get you named a rat or worse depending on how the cards are dealt. I've done it only once before and its what landed me in this damn book mess in the first place. \n\n\"I gotta go to the principle.\" \n\nTeddy shakes his head; he knows a dead man when he sees one. \n\n", "“Hey Benny, I know you are at home!” - John was knocking on door with intensity. There was not any sound beyond.\n“Benny, you’d better do it fast and don’t drive me wild!”.\n“So, you don’t wanna go easy way” - John thought on his way down the stairs. He left the building and went through an archway to a back of the house. He used a fire escape stairs and climbed on the floor Benny lived.\nThe window was closed. The son of a bitch was more prudent this time. John pushed a hook with a knife through a slit. Seconds after he stood in apartments. It was dark. Only a computer screen shone. The man looked around. He started to explore the first room trying to didn’t make any noise. Yes, Benny is definitely there - a pizza box with an almost whole meal, a cup of coffee on a table. He checked out a PC; browser showed a search engine page: “How to kung-fu”.\n“Hey, Kung Lao” - John yelled - “You’d better shawn up if you donna wanna feel Qi inside your ass!”. He noticed the carpet with a bent corner that led to the next room.\nIt was a bedroom: a closet, a bed and a little table. John took a gun. “Benny, we’ve already passed through this” - he tugged the closet’s door. A din sounded behind. “The bastard was under the bed!!!” - John turned around and pulled a trigger twice. Sounds of broken window glass and painful screaming filled a room.\n“Stop yelping, man! It’s fucking rubber!” - John stepped up - “And where is your path of a hand now, ah?”\n“It’s a karate, not a kung-fu... And a palm, not a hand...” - Benny squeezed out through teeth.\n“Hey, I donna care, got it? Donna give a shit! You know why I am here.” - John put a hand into his pocket and took out a bill. He threw it on the Benny’s body. “Where is a god damn Shakespeare? On the kitchen?” - John hurried up - “Get a money, you, or I’m gonna decide whether you’ll be or not to be!”\nJohn went throught the door. The book in the left hand and two dollars and fifty cents it the right. “This bastard owes me a nickel!”\n\nThanks for reading!\n\nFeel free to correct any mistakes. Thanks!", "Unsteady light filled a damp room of the tomb. Candlelight flickered from a sudden gust of wind. Shackles and skeletons by the walls made it clear – the host is not very kind to unwelcome guests. At room’s center was a massive table with a pulpit. Beside a pulpit grey-haired old man read bulky book with an ironclad spine. Startled by a sound of footsteps old man lifted his head.\n\n“I’ve been waiting for you,” grey-haired said to the shaded silhouette. The figure made another step and entered the light zone. Old man seemed confused “Erm, you are not him. Who are you? What are you doing here?”\n\n“Good day. I am Henry Finch, sir, and I am the golden bookmark’s fee collector,” Well-built man introduced himself. “I assume you are sir Jerald Hills, isn’t that right?”\n\n“Yeah, but you got here at a wrong time,” Jerald shifted embarrassed. “You see, I am waiting for visitors”\n\n“Sorry, sir, but this is a question of utmost importance,” Collector said and reached for his notebook. “You took Jane Austin’s best work’s collection and still has it on your hands.” Henry drawlingly recited, “You, of course, most return the library possessions and pay the fee”\n\n“Maybe I took,” Old man replied erratically “It was a long time ago. Let’s just get on with it.” He started digging through his possessions in a corner of a room. Shelf after shelf, chest after chest. Finally, he emerged from the pile of robes, scrolls and potions with dusty books in his hands. “Here, your books. How much is the fee?”\n\n“25 cents for a day overdue. Let’s see. Let’s see. It’ll be ten thousand and seventy five dollars”.\n\nThe old man’s jaw dropped.\n“What can I say,” Henry shrugged. “You’ve been keeping these books for more than a century”.\n\n“I don’t have such money,” Jerald uttered perplexedly.\n\n“Well, then you leave me no choice. I must resort to extremities,” Henry frowned. “I revoke your golden bookmark library card until you pay your debt.”\n\n“That’s it?” Old man laughed.\n\n“That’s it. I bid you good day”\n\nAnd with this words he left. His footsteps died down. But It wasn’t quiet for long. Other footsteps broke the silence.\n\n“I’ve been waiting for you,” grey-haired said to the shaded silhouette. The figure made another step and entered the light zone. “You’ve made a grave mistake coming here,” Jerald continued. “I’ll crush every bone in your body with a power of my grimoire…Where is my grimoire?”\n*** \n“He didn’t have money, so I took freedom and confiscate this quite unique book,“ Henry said to a golden mark librarian. “Look at the hard leather cover, the iron-clad spine. Don’t know about ten thousands, but any collector would gladly have it for a hefty price”\n\n\n", "They say being a lady librarian is a boring job. Nothing to do all day but sit behind a counter, suffer the presence of people, go on Facebook or 9gag, maybe read a book or ten. Oh, and do the stuff librarians do, I guess. And they’re right. It is boring. So boring that I’d rather watch a live filming of a David Attenborough documentary. It’s that boring. I even look the part, with coffee brown eyes behind half-moon glasses, ebony hair tied up in a bun, face void of all expression but utter boredom.\n\nBut alter egos need to be boring. Makes it easier for people to look the other way. Look at Superman, posing as a newsboy. Or Spiderman, acting like a nerd in high school. Even Batman needs to be a boring old millionaire every now and then. So here I am, a boring librarian by day, and something else at night. And no, this is not me rationalizing my dead-end day job. So shut up.\n\nDon’t get me wrong, I’m not a superhero. I never pretended to be, nor I ever wanted to be. There’s a reason why a librarian like me wound up vaulting over rooftops, blasting through steel doors, and hanging upside down from warehouse ceilings like a ninja after the library closes its doors for the day; the place I work at is less a library and more an archive of important tomes and scripture that have been locked away for the good of the entire world. Books like the Necronomicon, the Book of Thoth, and the Lovecraftian Novels. Very good stuff. Also highly dangerous.\n\nThe Archive allows key individuals to borrow from our stock every now and then for a hefty price. Usually the reasons are benign, even altruistic; someone needed to cure a death curse, a leyline had to be stabilized to stop a cataclysmic event, or a girl wanted an actual fairy princess to sing on her birthday. But every now and then, people forget to return books on their due date (like most college majors do). Worse still, some tardy bastard gets this crazy idea of using the overdue books to take over the world or some other uninspired yet complicated evil plot.\n\nThat’s where I come in. By morning, I am the Archive’s head librarian. At night, I am the Ars Arcanum, the Collector. And I am awesome at this job. Why, just the other night I stopped the Russian Mafia from using the Lemegeton to summon some otherworldly enforcers to do their dirty work. Ended up getting dirty myself, but that’s what happens when your own djinn splatters the walls red in glee. It’s all part of the job.\n\nTonight, I’m hidden behind some bushes on a cliff overlooking the manor of Lord William Crowley, distant descendant of Aleister Crowley himself. Under a pseudonym, he borrowed the Book of the Dead from the Archive. A week later, we expected the book back on our shelves. All we got was a badly-written note about using the book to revive his dead ancestor, and a dead, naked female body with threatening messages written all over it in blood.\n\nSo here I am, suited up in skin tight black suit with a tattered cloak for dramatic effect. The head honcho said that My weapons of choice are twin custom Ruger 9mm pistols (nicknamed Pain & Panic), three holy hand grenades, a silver crucifix with a pointed end, and the Galdrabok itself. See, one of the perks of the job was that I can use the books as I see fit, so long as it returns to the Archive in the same state when I took it. The Galdrabok gives me access to some very useful spells that make it easier for me to do my job. I mean, one threat of the Farting Curse is all it takes and they all come grovelling. The other stuff are simply insurance. \n\nBasically I’m a librarian by day, and magical bounty hunter at night. Sounds silly, I know. Laugh all you want now, but one day you’ll find yourself here in the Archive, burdened by some great need. And if you ever forget to return the book you borrowed on its due date, or if you decide to be some wannabe evil sorcerer, I will find you. And I will ki-- collect your books and overdue fees.\n", "I used to be a librarian at Cambridge, you know. Mighty fine job it was, I enjoyed being surrounded by centuries of knowledge and human creativity. Things got turned upside-down when a world of wizards suddenly appeared out of nowhere and decided that they wanted to integrate with the rest of society. I suppose a few centuries of isolation would do that.\n\nNobody knew what to do at first. The wizards were, of course, very curious about what they had been missing out on in the normal world, often to the point of becoming disruptive. The clichés were true, they carried wooden wands, even showed off their flying brooms.\n\nBut most importantly, they kept meticulous records of their understanding of magic. \n\nHundreds of scientists and wizard sages shook hands and began the largest exchange of knowledge to date. There was so much to share, a literal world of possibilities had just opened up between magical and non-magical folks alike. Thanks to technological advances, wizards were able to uncover the deep, intricacies of magical phenomena beyond their wildest dreams. Science, however, had advanced so much that researchers weren't sure how to apply magic directly on research. But with creative use of magic, scientists and engineers created golems that catered to every need and whim, enabling them to focus on research.\n\nWhen the golems started pouring out of the factories, they were lauded as the end to all manual labor. At first they were slow and really stupid, limited to being assembly line workers and such, but newer and newer models began to take over jobs requiring more of a human touch. Like mine. I was \"dismissed\" for some trivial reason that I don't even remember anymore, and compensated for \"services rendered\".\n\nI milled about for a few months, unsure of what to do. The golems were everywhere, and now they were literally taking our jobs. The backlash was terrible at first with widespread rioting, but when the media started clamoring about \"The End of Work\", the rioting was soon overtaken by cheering in the streets. We were finally free from the chains of mundane work, free to pursue whatever we pleased, whether it was art, music, or sports. A Golden Age had finally dawned upon us.\n\nScientist and wizard worked hand-in-hand to understand just how much magic and science could work together. Over the years of intimate co-operation in the name of progress, many books were written, combining the best of science and magic. Books with great knowledge that would be used to save countless lives. But also, books with great power. And with great power, comes a compelling desire to wield it. To accumulate it, and finally exercise it over others.\n\nI was awoken to a knocking at my apartment door early in the morning. Opening the door, I was greeted by the Dean of Cambridge, one of the sages that made first contact with the university. I knew him briefly. He was an amazing fellow, with more energy and strength than his old, frail frame would suggest. Clothed in suit and tie, nobody would have guessed his magical background. He had a bubbly personality that put him at odds with his status, although his countenance was not so sprightly this morning.\n\n\"We don't have much time, so I'm going to keep this short. We need help tracing a Black book.\"\n\n\"Huh? What?\" I mumbled groggily. I rubbed my eyes and shook my head half in disbelief. Black books were books containing knowledge that had greatest potential for abuse, loaned out only to the most trusted and reputable of researchers. \"Don't you guys normally just send the golems?\"\n\n\"All the golems we sent never returned. We think it's someone who knows how to disable golems or destroy them. Either way, it's not a good sign. Will you help us?\"\n\n\"I'd like to...\"\n\n\"Good. Get changed. We will brief you within the hour,\" came the curt reply. It was almost as if he knew I would accept.\n\nThe Dean turned to walk down the common corridor. I raised my hand to ask the Dean a question.\n\n\"Hey, about the work..\"\n\n\"Yes, you will be paid. Handsomely too,\" the Dean interjected without even turning around.\n\nI forgot. He reads minds.\n\n\n_____________________\n\nI think I might have deviated a little from the prompt, but I kinda like how it turned out anyway.\n\nFeedback would be greatly appreciated!", "SNICK\n\nDammit; that was close. The lack of a rifle report meant the punk was using a silencer. Probably an adapted oil filter screwed onto the end of a .22LR bolt-action, just like the directions in the book. It's not much of a challenge to get one of those rifles, especially if you're young. It's small and looks harmless - when compared to a tricked-out AR - but just as deadly within a hundred yards.\n\n\"What do you see, Jeffers?\", I whispered into my headset. Jeffers was 3 houses over, using a thermal imager. \"Just a few hotspots, boss. Looks like a couple of cats and our boy. Nothing else showing.\"\n\nI'd made the crawl from the end of the kid's street, using the gutter as a shield, my drag-bag with my rifle in it trailing behind me. This was a tough way to make an approach, as any bit of your body that appears above the gutter can get shot off. Also, the gutters tend to be pretty nasty at times. Still, it's a proven method. It takes time, but your target either can't watch the entire time or doesn't believe such an approach is possible. Either way, the odds are in your favor.\n\n\"Watkins\", I whispered. \"Start your approach now.\" Watkins, driving the fake UPS van, came up the street slowly, then stopped across from our target's house. Watkins got out, package in arm, and went up to the house. It was a dangerous part of the track, as our boy could have easily shot him; the UPS uniform didn't allow for any hard body armor, and nothing would stop a shot to the head. Still, Watkins didn't seem to mind; he was the daredevil in our group. Nothing seemed to scare him during a take-down.\n\nI used the distraction to crawl from the gutter to the cover of the steps leading to the house. I thought I had gotten through cleanly, but another SNICK let me know our boy was onto us. Watkins took cover behind the truck, which was armored. He retrieved a sniper rifle from under the chassis and took an overwatch position on the house. \"You good, chief? If ya want me to, I can pop him from here. He's not as clever as he thinks.\"\n\n\"No, Watkins, that's oka- BLAM\n\nIt took me a few moments for my hearing to clear, then I heard Jeffers in my headset: \"That was real cold on my thermal scope, boss. My guess is he chucked a dry-ice bomb at ya from that second-floor window.\"\n\nMakes sense. Easy to get dry ice and a few empty 2-liter bottles. Shit, I'd set off a few of my own in my younger days. \"Let's hope he didn't get much further into the book\", I said, as I shifted my weight on the steps.\n\nWHOOOOMP\n\nThat shook everyone, me most of all. Dirt and chunks of grass came falling out of the air around me, and there was a whiff of ammonia in the air. \"Welp,\" I said. \"Looks like he's gotten past Chapter 13, 'Booby Traps and Firing Mechanisms'.\"\n\nI felt like an idiot; I hadn't bothered to check for a pressure-plate on the steps. \"From the smell,\" I whispered, \"I suspect he used some ammonium nitrate fertilizer. Just followed the directions in the book.\" Damn good directions, too.\n\n\"Okay, guys, I done playing with this one. Watkins, get ready with your 40mm. Drop a flash-bang through the second-floor window. Jeffers, move up to the neighbor's house and send another flash-bang into the living room. Those should keep him down long enough for me to make entry.\"\n\n\"Roger that, boss\", said Watkins. \"Copy that\", said Jeffers. I gave them a thirty-count, then gave a countdown: \"Three, two, one, send it!\"\n\nfoompBANG! foompBANG!\n\nI was on my feet and charging the door before the second explosion, hitting the door frame with my shoulder and feeling it give way. The average homeowner had no idea how weak a wooden door frame really was.\n\nI rolled into the foyer, tossing a stun grenade up the stairs and onto the 2nd-floor landing; another went sailing into the living room. If the kid's vision and hearing weren't gone from the flash-bangs, the second pair would put him down long enough for me to gain control.\n\nAnd I was right; the kid was in the middle of the living room floor, barely moving. Guess he hadn't gotten to Chapter 20, 'Defending Against Military and Paramilitary Forces'. They wrote about improvised gas masks and hearing protection in that chapter, as well as improvised barricades from household furnishings.\n\nI rolled up on the kid, my hand on his chest and my pistol coming up against his forehead. \"What is with you kids and that book?\", I asked him. I'd seen it when I was a kid, but it didn't seem to have the same fascination with young guys then as it did now.\n\n\"Someone checks it out, then they don't return it\", I said. \"They ignore notices, keeping it out for weeks or months, racking up a huge fine and forcing me and my team into action. Tell me, kid, was it worth all the effort?\"\n\nThe kid coughed a bit, then said, \"Well, I figured if I kept it long enough, someone would come after me. Then I could try out all the stuff that I learned from the book.\" \"Well, kid, that's pretty stupid. Now, you'll have to pay my bounty fee, as well as the charge for the overdue book. And I'm sure your parents won't be happy about the broken window or the smashed door frame.\"\n\nI holstered my pistol, grabbed the kid by his collar and dragged him to his bedroom. The book was on his desk, opened to Chapter 8, \"Monitoring Enemy Activity\". A police scanner that looked older than the kid sat next to it. \"So\", I said, \"you heard us talking. Looks like I need to invest in some encrypted comms.\"\n\nI grabbed the book, and glanced at the worn cover. \"The Anarchist's Cookbook, 35th Anniversary Edition.\" This was the fifth time I'd had to track down this damn book.\n\n\"Next time, kid, just pay the fine. It ain't worth either of us getting killed.\"", "I didn't start out with this. Wanted to be a cop, like my dad. Times were too tough though. After the global collapse in 2345, the military took over and you had to pay to get in. Most public services were privatized, the government had given up on trying to keep up appearances. Roads were only built for the wealthy and \"peace walls\" erected around the smoked out remains of neighborhoods that had descended into chaos. They called these places Freedom States.\n\nNo one knows when the higher-ups decided handing over the libraries to the corporations was a good idea, but I know it happened on a Monday. That afternoon, folks from the States lined up for blocks to return the books they'd checked out before the law passed. The libraries hired security guards to ensure nothing left that wasn't checked out. Not that it mattered, every book had a rental cost and most of those folks couldn't afford it.\n\nHeaven help them if they could though. The corps started hiring people to track down whoever didn't bring books back on time. The pay to do it was good; better than cleaning windows and a hell of a lot cheaper than joining the military. Folks started calling us Collectors. We'd ride into the Freedom States and heckle citizens for the late fees they'd racked up. Didn't matter if they couldn't get past check points or the corps had implemented a payment strike for them trying to organize, you paid the corps.\n\nI received a tip off on a job early this morning. They said it was supposed to be quick. In and out. Supposedly it was just a mother and two children living in the slums and women are always easy to shake down especially if you roughed up the kids a little. I stopped for a cup of coffee, phoned in to accept the assignment and headed toward the Freedom State west of town. Showed my badge at the checkpoint and passed through. Got to their house pretty quick. Most people there don't have cars, can't afford 'em, so the roads are normally empty.\n\nThe place looks like a dump; garbage in front of the building and the sidewalk smells like piss and vomit. A dinged up metal door barely has hinges and the building's grey with most of the windows covered in plywood.\n\nOh well, might as well get this over with. \n\n", "The horrific screech of my phone wakes me, it's incessant beeping reminding me of my choices in life. I grumble as I roll out of my comfortable bed, a woman who's name I don't know slowly waking as well. I place the phone to my ear.\n\n\"Mr. Vanderpunch, we've got a runner, a one Aaron Cross. He was last seen boarding a plane heading for Detroit. If you leave now you should be able to head him off. The institution is willing to pay your travelling fee.\"\n\n\u000b\u000b\"I'm on it\" I grunt like an annoyed lion and hang up. \"Sorry doll, duty calls. I'll make you an omelet some other time.\"\n\n\"Call me!\" She shouts desperately as I rush out the door.\n\n\u000bThe cool night air washes over me as I walk to my classic mustang parked on the curb. I strap my trusty revolver to my side and slide into the leather seat. I place my hand on the steering wheel and the engine roars to life like the rearing horse of old. I speed down the highway towards the rising sun. Justice doesn't wait till dawn. \n\nTwo hours later I arrive in Detroit, once the motor city, now a faded jewel. I speed to the airport and toss my keys to the valet. \"I'm not paying for it\" I mutter to myself with a grin. Rushing through the still silent halls I make my way to the terminal, flashing security my badge. Airports were always so tranquil in the wee hours of the morning, the massive rooms leaving only you and your thoughts. The plane was disembarking as I reached the cavernous terminal. I watched the people as they leave, runners were always easy to spot, they had the unmistakable scared look of a rabbit out in the open. Sure enough, he pokes his head out, nervously looking around for a wolf.\n\n\u000b\u000bI hold up my hastily scrawled sign with his name. Aaron's timid eyes eventually finds it. For a moment he's confused, stunned, until he sees me grinning like the wolf I am. He bolts, sprinting down the hall, tail between his legs. I whip out my Smith & Weston, the polished metal gleaming in the florescent light, and fire a single shot. The other passengers scream at the sound and the man falls, clutching his ankle.\n\nI take my time walking over to him before placing a boot upon his back. \"You should have just paid the fee, would have saved yourself a lot of trouble.\" I gloat, standing over him. \"Now you've got to pay for my bullet too\" I bend over and pull a few books out of his backpack. \"All this for Twilight. I would have pegged you for a Tom Clancy fan.\"\u000b\u000bI put the books under my arm and begin walking away from the man as security and paramedics run to his side. I pause from a moment and turn to the crowd gathered. \"And let this be a lesson to all of you. Don't FUCK with the public library.\" \n\n(I have two ideas for this, I've got a second story on the way)", "I had two ideas I liked so I wrote two. Sue me ;p\n\nA cold chill runs down my spine as I dismount my horse. I glance around the woods, something was not right. Trees were dead, the birds were silent, nary a squirrel scurried though the branches. I cautiously move through the forest, careful to make not a sound. Looking down I notice a patch of earth scorched in an unnatural way. I pick up some ash, feeling the texture with my fingers and give it a sniff. \n\n\n\"Brimstone.\" I mutter to myself. \"At least I know I'm on the right path.\" I turn to my trusty horse, fur black as night save for a brilliant blue blaze upon her face. \"You're going to have to stay here girl, I'll be back in a moment\". With a pat I leave her and move silently into the forest. \n\n\nMy progress slows as the trees get progressively denser, closing in on me from all sides. Just before the foliage swallows me completely the trees suddenly break into an unnatural clearing. It appears to be a perfect circle, the dead grass ringed by dead trees, and a silent pond in the center of it all. Sitting at the edge of the still water, a man sits. In his lap a massive tome is open, several more rest by his side. I silently unsheathe my blade and slip into the clearing. \n\n\nHalfway through the clearing the man speaks, his voice strong and commanding despite his decrepit appearance. \"Those small minded fools should have sent more men.\" He calmly closes the book and turns to face me.\n\n\n\"Surrender now, return the books, and pay your fine!\" I shout to him, my words echoing off the trees. \"Or I'll take them from your corpse\" I menace the small man.\n\n\n\"But I'm not done with them yet!\" he shouts, as he raises his hands. One of the books bursts open and its pages flutter like a hummingbird. Purple energy flows from it and encircles the man. Hands, burst from the ground as a myriad of zombies and skeletons crawl from their graves. The man giggles incoherently from behind the new wall of corpses. \n\n\nMy blade gleams in the fading light as I cut my way through the monsters. \"Why do you people always have to do things the hard way?\" I shout as I whirl my way through the shambling mob. My sword moves with blinding speed, my strikes far too fast for these creatures to stop or avoid.\n\n\n\"You fools know nothing!\" The man shouts, scrambling back as I carve my way to him. \"You all have access to so much power but your fragile sensibilities won't let you see it!\" He cracks open another tome, this one seemingly unwilling to open. Red light seeps out of the book and the man grabs a handful. He hoists it, as if it weighed a ton, and hurls it in my direction. \n\n\nI grab the nearest zombie and use it as a shield as the mote of light erupts into a massive, fiery blast, consuming the majority of my foes. I throw my desiccated, ashen shield to the ground and dash towards my quarry. He dives back, opening yet another massive book..\n\n\n\"I could teach you, you know. I could share with you this power, make you great.\" fear works its way into his voice as he goes to open the book.\n\n\nI plant my boot atop the book, catching his hand between the pages. \"I don't need you to teach me, because unlike you\" I point my blade at his throat \"I pay my late fees\"", "The bounty hunter\n\nHunts his bounty,\n\nHopping borders,\n\nCrossing counties.\n\n\n\nKnocking door to door,\n\nHe wanders, \n\nTraveling 'cross\n\nThe wild great yonder.\n\n\nIf he finds you, \n\nBetter hurry,\n\nHe'll be gone,\n\nWithout a scurry.\n\nHe will soon,\n\nYour window shatter,\n\nGrab his package,\n\nQuickly scatter.\n\n\nThen he's off\n\nInto the evening,\n\nNever woke you-\n\nSoftly breathing.\n\nNow he's gone\n\nAnd in his stead,\n\nHe's left a note:\n\n\"Next time, you're dead.\"\n\n\n\n\n" ]	15
	[WP] Write an essay about something you know absolutely nothing about, but still make it sound scientifically accurate.	[ "The Effects Of Overpopulation On Climate.\n\n\n\nOverpopulation creates an imbalance in the production-combustion cycle of nature, the assumption by people is to make people spread out in areas with less populace, but then the density of carbon dioxide and oxygen are distorted and may lead to natural disasters. There could be many tornadoes and storms due to this very change. The solution is to expand properly the already inhabited areas and do it in a way that it maintains the living conditions and also creates more opportunities for the new populace that moves there. If we don't do the former, there are huge chances of unemployment and increase of slum areas.", "#Evening Nutrition: The Dangers of Hidden Food Groups\n\nCommonly known for it's \"remedial and restorative\" effects, the common \"snack\" may include but not limited too: chips, fruits, vegetables, frozen foods, leftovers, candy, and/or other fried foods of the fattening variety. It is common knowledge that consuming such substances would be best suited during times after long periods of labor or study, however evidence proves against such benefit.\n\nFrom lab reports in the University of Cena located in Hawaii, student researchers have been meticulously studying the effects of substance consumption. From the typical family dinner to take out involving \"fast food\" aka, McDonalds and Burger King, evidence has shown drastic buildups of fat electrolytes and toxic chemicals known as \"dopamine\" which forms after subjects consumed such \"snacks.\"forces test subjects into continued states of highs for this. Addiction occurs as subjects continue to fill their bodies with dangerous substances in an effort to continue this high for dopamine. \n\nAlthough there is no known cure for abuse from these substances, measures can be taken to prevent to leading interest, consumption, and further sale of these dangerous materials. In another test, project \"Less is More\" began. Beginning with shock collars and whips, test subjects were subject to 20,000 volts of charge and lashings when approaching dopamine causing substances, and voluntarily began choosing the safer alternative, salt. By sending off subtle signals against dangerous substances, test subjects were successfully weaned and even free of former desire to consume these danger substances. However, this victory was short lived as subjects resumed substance consumption after the test was over.\n\nWith the rising of implants and further wireless technology, within another institute in Maryland, the University of McGergor's tests the possibility of lineless tasers and smaller, less obstructive shock collars which could possibly be implanted at the base of the neck to not only increase effectiveness by 35%, but also reduce costs in liability and tech expenses which may hamper further use by the general public. Beginning with its first line of prototypes, the McGergor \"Snack Collar\" ships out in January.\n\n\n", "#Evening Nutrition: The Dangers of Hidden Food Groups\n\nCommonly known for it's \"remedial and restorative\" effects, the common \"snack\" may include but not limited too: chips, fruits, vegetables, frozen foods, leftovers, candy, and/or other fried foods of the fattening variety. It is common knowledge that consuming such substances would be best suited during times after long periods of labor or study, however evidence proves against such benefit.\n\nFrom lab reports in the University of Cena located in Hawaii, student researchers have been meticulously studying the effects of substance consumption. From the typical family dinner to take out involving \"fast food\" aka, McDonalds and Burger King, evidence has shown drastic buildups of fat electrolytes and toxic chemicals known as \"dopamine\" which forms after subjects consumed such \"snacks.\". Shockingly, dopamine forces test subjects into continued states of highs for this. Addiction occurs as subjects continue to fill their bodies with dangerous substances in an effort to continue this high for dopamine. \n\nAlthough there is no known cure for abuse from these substances, measures can be taken to prevent to leading interest, consumption, and further sale of these dangerous materials. In another test, project \"Less is More\" began. Beginning with shock collars and whips, test subjects were subject to 20,000 volts of charge and lashings when approaching dopamine causing substances, and voluntarily began choosing the safer alternative, salt. By sending off subtle signals against dangerous substances, test subjects were successfully weaned and even free of former desire to consume these danger substances. However, this victory was short lived as subjects resumed substance consumption after the test was over.\n\nWith the rising of implants and further wireless technology, within another institute in Maryland, the University of McGergor's tests the possibility of lineless tasers and smaller, less obstructive shock collars which could possibly be implanted at the base of the neck to not only increase effectiveness by 35%, but also reduce costs in liability and tech expenses which may hamper further use by the general public. Beginning with its first line of prototypes, the McGergor \"Snack Collar\" ships out in January.\n\n\n", "#The Effects Of The Placebo Effect Beyond Medical Purposes\n##(or: Interfacing With The Unconscious Via Placebo)\n\nThe placebo effect is a well known[1] psychological effect where simply believing an action with no effect will have an effect may cause said action to actually occur[2].\n\nHowever, most studied cases simply prove a correlation between belief and effect in medical contexts. The placebo effect actually has much more control than simple changes in health.\n\nStudies show that the placebo effect actually allows you to change nearly anything controlled by your unconscious[3][4], including muscle (limb) control[5], your biological clock[6][7], and vocal cord attenuation[8]. \n\nSubjects were simply told that either a pill[4][7][8] or an excerise/ritual[3][5][6][8] would allow them to change something that was controlled by their unconscious and then they either were given said pill or did said excerise/ritual. \n\nIndividuals who were told that it would allow them to change something experienced said change. (p < 0.03) (Placebo effectiveness appeared to also be affected by how qualified the person telling them the effect was.)\n\nIndividuals who were not told did not experience said change. \n\nIndividuals who observed one or more people experiencing said change due to an action and then performing said action commonly experienced said change. (p < 0.048) \n\nIn short, we can conclude placebo can affect anything about you based on your set beliefs or what you think[9]." ]	4
	[WP] Your name is Roger Waters. You've just been inducted as the United States Secretary of Education, and must give a speech. After years of hiding your true nature, you can finally express your opinion on education's necessity.	[ "I am well known for my beliefs on education. I have been quoted as saying that teachers are just another brick in the wall. This is only a half-truth. Right now the world is in a state of denial about what's happening around it. The truth is that education is the wall that separates us from the Barbarism that we decline into once we allow ignorance to prevail. \n\nIf you listen to my work there is a reason that children sing the refrain of not needing education. They're too ignorant to know any better. They are also not aware of the truth of the saying that they sing. \n\nIt's a double negative. We don't need no education, is in fact saying that the children need to be taught. \n\nBut our education system is failing us. We do not, in fact, need a failing education system where we teach children route memorization instead of learning how to think critically. We do not need the thought control of allowing our political leanings decide the facts of our world. So our teachers need to leave their politics at the door. Teachers, leave those kids alone. \n\nIf we want a brighter future we must create a culture where we celebrate learning rather than use it as a system of oppression, or worse yet as a way to discourage thinking and encourage us to get stuck in a rut repeating the same things over and over again. If you can't look pass the surface of a thing it's very important to learn how.\n\nLet us not get stuck as lost souls wandering around covering the same old ground year after year. I've moved beyond that but I wish you were here with me to do the same. \n\nThank you.\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] The guardians of the mystical forest pissed off the planet.	[ "We are The Brothers. We are The Atlas of this world. Surely as legend tells how he holds up the sky, we bare the weight of our home upon our backs to preserve that which is ours. \nWe are four, our number is four and four of us dwell here as overseers of each corner of this rock. One is the wind, the breath of the air. One is the waters, the vessel of life. One is the stone, soils and fire. One is different. The spore brought forth from us all. The stone wrought bone, the soils sprung roots the waters wrought blood and nectar. The winds move the fourth with life. \nHow many stars exist without the stirrings we have disturbed this one with? Countless dormant worlds that strike through the eternal void. Yet we have settled and made this one shake.\nWe feel ourselves diminishing passing from touch to ether. A conscious is born on this world. He is a creature, he is Man. It seems once energy is bestowed upon that which we choose to preside over its flow outwards no longer rests in our hands. We have made this world what is it, different from every other and this world is taking its mile from the inch bestowed. The creation has a new overseer, a hungry one and one that is hungry. We feel sorrow as this world will be devoured, though we are the stomach, man is the mouth that will react to its hunger. \n" ]	1
	[WP] When you die, you meet the grim reaper. It presents you with a choice: move on the the next life or take its place.	[ "\"What will my next life be like?\" He questioned, looking around the endless white void before blue eyes returnd to the dark, foreboding figure. The man saw that this Grim Reaper may have once had a human form itself, but over time, or perhaps in an instance, had simply become a force of nature with a constant shifting shape.\n\n\"That is not an answer I can give. What is on the other side of this plane I cannot say.\" The voice of the Reaper seemed to echo throughout the void, and in the confines of the dead man's own head. It held a power only granted to those who brought forth the grace of death to the living. \n\n\"What will happen to you? How long have you been a Grim Reaper?\" The formerly living man worried for a second that he may be questioning too much, but time did not seem to touch this place and the higher being showed no sign of annoyance. Or any human emotion. \n\n\"That is a decision I make after you have made your own,\" it said, silhouette still shifting. For a second it appeared to be a short man, and then a woman with hair blacker and longer than any night sky, and then a creature of mythological creation that had yet to be told in any known story. Before the man could digest the appearance of one shape, it had already moved on to the next. It was almost dizzying in a sense. Freeing, even. To be anything and anyone to the dying. \"I have lost track of time long ago, for it is trivial matter in a place like this, but have asked this question of the millions that have been brought here.\"\n\nMillions, and they all said no? He did not voice this question. Began to think that if he did his curiosity alone would have him here for an eternity, asking questions of a creature he could never truly know. Just as he had never truly known the people he surrounded himself with back on Earth. So many questions then, so much time wasted looking for answers. He never did get most of them, did he? The man blinked, looked around once more at the calm sea of white, and then took an unneeded, steadying breath, \"I want to take your place.\" \n\n\"It is done,\" the Reaper immediately declared, enveloping the spirit in darkness before any sense of regret could be felt. \n\nThe Grim Reaper who had once been a father so long ago moved on to the unknown, and the dead son turned to a Reaper for the same unknown, who soon came to reap his own father's life. The question posed to him not asked of the old man, for the father had not followed his son's sin in inflicting death upon himself." ]	1
	[WP] After again escaping from Arkham Asylum the crime boss known as the Joker has been sentenced (in absentia) to death. Government forces are moving to arrest him, but all the world's superheroes are refusing to assist, awaiting the response of one of their own … the Dark Knight.	[ "He sat, cross-legged, on the chair, meditating. The calls didn't stop coming, but he didn't respond. He had to think. He took in a breath.\n\n\"Bruce, this is Clark. Call me.\"\n\n\"Bruce, please don't tell me you're considering this? Call me. Oracle can help.\"\n\n\"Bruce, I know I'm probably the last person you want to hear from, but I think you should do it. Love you, Selena.\"\n\nHe exhaled. It wasn't doing any good. He tapped on the keyboard, opening up the line for the FBI. No camera feed, better to keep them guessing as to where he was.\n\n\"The United States Government does not wait, Batman,\" the Director hissed.\n\n\"No one will help you catch him without me. I believe I have the upper hand, here,\" Batman answered, calmly. The Director didn't answer.\n\n\"Why now?\" the vigilante asked. \"Why go after him now? He's been my responsibility, and the government has recognized him as so, for a very long time. What changed?\"\n\n\"We have decided that keeping him alive is no longer a tenable situation,\" the man responded.\n\n\"Don't lie to me,\" Batman growled. \"I've read all your files. Best tell the truth.\"\n\n\"That's a federal offence!\"\n\n\"You don't seem to care when my federal offences benefit you. Now talk,\" Batman fiddled with a gadget he was building.\n\n\"He's the first. A pilot programme. We intend to kill all of the mass murderers you call supervillians,\" the Director admitted, reluctantly.\n\n\"I'll call you back,\" Batman disconnected the call. \"Clark?\" he whispered. The Man of Steel instantly appeared beside him.\n\n\"You heard the call, yes?\" he glanced up at his friend. Clark nodded. He could see the veins in his neck stand up just a little, the way his fists were curled just a bit too tight. The Kryptonian was angry.\n\n\"What do you want to do about it?\" Clark looked at him. The heroes always deferred to Batman, for a variety of reasons. Most importantly, he was the only one who knew how to navigate the complex intersect of law, politics, and morality that they were so often stuck in the middle of.\n\nBatman pulled up a stack of folders onto the table. He handed one to Clark. The superman glanced at him, then read it, in the blink of an eye.\n\n\"Are they all-\"\n\n\"Yes,\" Batman nodded. He knew exactly how that file read. 'Poison Ivy: Reccomended Strategy for Target Elimination'.\n\n\"I'm not surprised you have this, Bruce, but do you really want to do it?\" Clark looked at him, with that Boy Scout concern. They both knew Batman's one rule. He inhaled a ragged breath, and thought about that conversation.\n\nBatman cut the wire, and disarmed the IED. He headbutted the man, dropping him to the ground. Batman sat on one of the chairs, the mission over. He didn't like these conditions, and he'd wished he had more time to prepare. The sand of Iraq worked its way into his suit, and the heavy material was unfit for the desert environment.\n\nThe only reason he was here walked over. The true leader of the FBI, Cynthia Parker. \"Thanks, Bruce,\" she grinned at him, taking a seat beside him.\n\n\"Why don't you want to use the guns?\" she shouldered her rifle, securing it with the strap.\n\n\"We've had this argument, what? Eighty times now?\" Batman chuckled. \"Let's skip to where we left off.\" Cynthia wasn't the first to raise the argument, but she provided the most stimulating points.\n\n\"Look, we arrest these guys, hand them in to their local government, they'll be out in days. With the men you fight, it's the same thing. The Joker's killed how many people?\" she asked.\n\n\"And if I start killing them, then what separates me from them?\" he asked, in return.\n\n\"You protect the people. The people you love. Isn't that enough?\" she frowned as Batman flinched. She'd struck a nerve. It wasn't her fault, but it hurt to recall... that.\n\n\"Look, Bruce, you're fighting a war here. Don't pretend it's not. There's a tactical advantage I know you can see. You're a smart man,\" she insisted, getting up. \"Either way the favour you owed me is done. Thanks.\"\n\nBatman wasn't sure where he stood now. He'd had a number of reasons why he didn't kill. One that he wouldn't stop killing, one that he had to draw the line. When he really asked himself though, he just thought of Chill, shooting his parents. He didn't want to be like that. Never like that. But when he thought of himself grabbing the gun and shooting Chill, he wasn't sure what he felt. Or maybe he knew what he felt and wasn't sure if he approved of it." ]	1
	[WP] It's another ordinary day for the devil. He wakes up and looks at his schedule for who wants to sell their soul today. As he makes his way down the list he notices there is a person with more then just their soul to sell.	[ "\"Oh, you're early!\" The devil ignored the other man's offered handshake in favour of glaring at him instead. \n\nThat didn't stop the man from continuing his dreary little monologue though. \"Do you want any tea? Or coffee! I have this amazing new coffee machine you know-\"\n\n\"Why are you on it?\" The devil interrupted. If he had to listen to any more of the man's inane chatter he'd be the one losing his soul. \n\n\"On what?\" At least the human had the decency to get rid of that stupid little grin in favour of a more confused expression.\n\n\"The list.\" The demon replied, too annoyed to elaborate. \n\n\"There's a list? That's hilarious!\" The human then had the audacity to Laugh, his hands clutching at his sides as his body vibrated.\n\nYeah, the human was definitely going to be ending up in hell early today. \"There has ALWAYS been a list, human! Your puny little opinions do not change that.\" The demon paused. \n\nThe back of the human's neck grew red as he waited for the devil to continue. \"So what!\" He finally exclaimed, unable to stand the wait anymore.\n\nSmirking at the human's frustration the demon finally continued. \"The problem is that you appeared on my list, promising me 5 souls. It's a strange thing to see from someone who doesn't even have one.\"\n\nThe man's face brightened after hearing the explanation like he had just had an epiphany. \"Ah, yes, that! Well, you see it's all part of this new business I'm setting up.\"\n\nThe devil raised an eyebrow. \"What?\" \n\nThe human, sensing the need for more details continued \"you see, loads of humans want to sell their soul for wealth and fame but most are scared of performing the ritual incorrectly. Which is where I come in.\"\n\n\"You?\" \n\n\"Well I did successfully manage to sell my soul to you a year ago, so I have the expertise necessary.\" The man pointed at himself proudly. \n\nThe devil blinked. Then blinked again. Wanting more money even after having been given all the wealth one would ever need. Such a human quality, it should have been obvious. \"I don't appreciate being used as a pawn\" he finally growled.\n\nThe human frowned. \"Wha-\" he began to say, but didn't have the time to finish as the demon grabbed him, dragging him down to the deepest depths of hell. " ]	1
	[WP] Write a tale/story involving your surroundings or your mood. Feel free to involve anything from genres to events.	[ "The house was cluttered, with nothing in particular. There were toys that needed picked up, clothes that needed folding, and dishes that have sat in the sink for two days. She didn't have the energy today, the pain was too much but the pills made her too tired. She resolved to try again tomorrow, knowing that she wouldn't have time.\n\n\n She gave her son his meds, took her own and a sad attempt at enforcing bedtime was given but it was refused as if a question instead of a demand. Three hours later she curled back into her bed, still in pajamas from the night before. Work would be a struggle, she could barely stand today and imagining ten hours on her feet was too much. \n\n She closed her eyes, waiting on her dreams to come in waves. She had a dream once that she woke up with no pain, and her child was well. They went to the park on a summer day and ran around together. Something so simple, was so far out of reach. She didn't want to wake up from that one. She was depressed for days, but the world doesn't stop. The days blur together, and there have been too many bad ones lately. She's given up tonight, as the tears fall from her eyes. One day, it will be better. " ]	1
	[WP] Write a story in which the discovery of a cellphone terrifies the protagonist.	[ "The kids were tucked quietly into bed, and not a moment too soon, either, Amelia had been dealing with their rambunctious antics all day long. The sixteen year-old former pageant queen sighed an exasperated length of air as she fell back on the couch. \n\nThe home she now sat the kids in was massive, and it was so empty. Six bedrooms, seven bathrooms, a sunroom, and a kitchen large enough for their on-hire chef to cook meals for them. Of course, the cook had already gone home for the night, and dinner had long since been prepared for the two little cretins that she had tucked in only half an hour before. So the popcorn in the microwave was hers, and the buttery smell was wafting her way already.\n\nAmelia smiled, though, as she brought her cell phone up in front of her face and video called her boyfriend.\n\n\"Hey, baby.\" The voice on the other side said with a devilish smile. \"You're alone, aren't you?\"\n\nAmelia smiled, \"Yes, but don't get any ideas, you!\"\n\n\"I could come over and be real, real, quick.\" \n\nWhen the microwave beeped from the kitchen behind her, she stood up. \"I'm sure it would be quick.\" She smiled sheepishly and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. \"But you can't come over.\"\n\n\"I'm already getting in my car!\" He said, louder than normal, grinning from ear to ear. The sound of his car door closing was audible in the background.\n\n\"Jamie, no!\" She laughed and took her bag of popcorn out of the microwave and dumped it in a bowl. \"Don't you do it.\"\n\n\"I can't hear you, la - la - la - la!\" He said. \"I'm losing connection. Beep! Beep!\"\n\n\"I'm serious!\" She shouted, still laughing. When the screen went black she shook her head. \"I'm gonna get in so much trouble.\"\n\nBut she went to the couch and sat down and turned on the television. Netflix roared to life on the screen. Would she watch romance? No. Drab. Comedy? Not tonight. Horror? Of course. She could handle being scared a little, and if it was too bad, Jamie would be there soon. \n\nAs time went on, Amelia eventually began to wonder where exactly her boyfriend was. It had been half an hour since their call, and it only took fifteen minutes for him to get here. Just as she considered peering out the window, she heard a loud thud. She jumped. \"Damn it, Jamie.\" She said out loud, and huffed. As she began to fidget, her phone rang with another voice call. This time on the other side, it showed live video inside the house, in the dark hallways upstairs where the kids bedrooms were. She whispered, \"Jamie, that's not funny. How did you get in?\" Then the screen went black, and another thud. \n\nAmelia jumped up off the couch and held a pillow and her phone tight in her hands and she slinked around to glance up the long dark staircase. \"Jamie!\" She whisper-shouted. \"Get down here.\" Then she heard the sound of the microwave shut. Hadn't she closed it before? How did he get down there? She turned and stomped into the kitchen. \"Jamie, that's not funny!\" She yelled, obviously irritated by her fear. But when she stepped into the kitchen, she saw nothing except Jamie's phone on the counter, and the screen lit up.\n\nAs she approached the phone she realized that there was something on the corners of the screen. Was that... blood? And a video sat ready to play. She reached down and touched the play button. \n\nAs the sound of the rattling microphone stabilized, she could hear Jamie whimpering. A gravelly voice came on, \"Say your name. Tell her your name!\" A raspy chuckle followed. Jamie looked at the camera, fear and tears in his eyes. He said his name. \"Now spell it!\" The gravelly voice said again.\n\nJamie began spelling his name. \"J... A... M...\" and as he said \"I\" whoever was holding the phone proceeded to shove a screwdriver into Jamie's eyes repeatedly. The screams were unbearable.\n\nAmelia dropped the phone and covered her mouth. Fear kept her utterly silent as she backed away from the device, now stationary on the floor. As she backed away, she glanced to her left only to see Jamie's car in the driveway. \n\nThen she heard the thud again. " ]	1
	[WP] You have the power to see how many people someone has killed, based on a number above their head only you can see. Most people are at a zero, but one day you spot a particular toddler with a 109.	[ "Talking to myself \"I've always had this weird pow-\", \"W-w-what's that?\" While I take off my glasses, clean them and rub my eyes. \"Am I hallucinating? Has this toddler really murdered 109 people?\" I walk and approach its guardians \"hello!\" I greet them, they reply with a dead voice looking at me \"hello, are you the so called prophet?\" They asked \"Prophet?\" I reply confused \"he is supposed to take our baby because she is dangerous for some reason\" \"I see, they just haven't realized what their baby has done or what it might actually be!\", \"is she your daughter?\" I asked confidently, while getting an answer from the 17 month old toddler \"did you just assume my gender?\"\n\nMy first story please go easy on me", "At first, I didn't know what the numbers meant. It's something I stopped bringing up once I realised that other people couldn't see them, and that mentioning it would only elicit strange looks and visits to a therapist. When my brother, who'd always had a 0 above his head, came home, clammy and pale faced, with a 3 hovering above him, I wondered what it meant. I stopped wondering when the police paid us a visit, and arrested my brother on 3 counts of manslaughter as a result of drunk driving.\n\nOf course, the numbers can be a bit disquieting. I try not to judge. It's usually not straight up murder, and I get that accidents happen, bad things, good people, etc. But shit, I couldn't believe it the first time I saw this kid. \n\nHe was only about 2 years old, but above his tuft of soft blonde hair, the 109 stuck out, stark and bold and imposing.\n\n“He's such a great boy, a really good sleeper, so you shouldn't have any trouble with him.” His mother looked normal. What the hell was wrong here? \n\n“We'll be back around 10pm. Feel free to watch a movie, we have a pretty decent collection.” The father was also a perfect model of suburbia, with his thick rimmed glasses and sweater vest.\n\nAs soon as they left the house, I checked the kid. He was in his crib, already fast asleep. I began to research. I rummaged through desk drawers and cabinets, sifting through files and certificates and toys and asthma inhalers and packets of formula and the other mundane nonsense of this young child's life for any information I could find on why he had 109 above his head.\n\nA clipping from the newspaper gave me the first clue. 'Outbreak of whooping cough ravages children in Helmsville'. Guess who was patient zero? About 20 other kids weren't so lucky. The second came after some searching on the Internet, 'Childcare centre in Stuartholme County devastated by fire; 49 dead.' Countless others were injured through smoke inhalation. They still don't know how he got the matches. Freak accident at the zoo; tragic situation at a local swimming pool; first birthday party ends in disaster – these things just seemed to keep happening around him.\n\nWhen you're given a power, I believe that you should use it in a way that helps others. You're destined to try and do something with it. Maybe this kid was just unlucky, maybe he was cursed, maybe it was a all a coincidence, but I could already tell that he was not destined to help others. \n\nI babysat the kid a few more times. He passed away in his sleep. Doctors weren't surprised. The kid had a bad pair of lungs. \n\nMy number's been sitting at 1 for a while but I'm okay with it now – as I said, I try not to judge. ", "What does your average fifteen-year-old expect when he is called to babysit a distant relative's six-months-old baby? Some crying, some singing the baby to sleep, in extreme cases, possibly changing the diaper, that's all. It was supposed to be easy money. The little bugger was supposed to go to sleep and I was supposed to watch TV until his parents came home and paid me five dollars per hour. The money would have gone to my skateboard fund and I would have gone to sleep with a satisfied smile.\n\nAll that plans jumped out of the window headfirst into the ground with a loud splat when I saw that vibrant green colored \"109\" floating into the smiling baby's head. The writing was beautiful as if written in some kind of exotic font. The color suited the text; it created a harmonious amalgamation of ... \n\nThe hell I am thinking about!? 109? Fucking 109? \n\nCalm down, calm down. Long breath, yeah, that's like it.\n\nI suppose an explanation is in order. From a very young age, I have seen a floating number on top of everyone's head. It drove my parents nuts, their little angel look up at something invisible and laughing with glee everytime uncle Ernie came to visit. Thankfully, it used to cheer up the perpetually depressed uncle Ernie. Things had never been the same for him since Vietnam. Good bloke, pity he killed himself, though.\n\nThe mystery of the numbers resolved when I happened to witness an event that was enough to induce PTSD in a normal 10-year-old had he not been too busy noticing the change of the floating 0 to a 1 than the actual stabbing. It was then that it clicked. Why uncle Ernie had a \"10\" on his head and why most people had 0. \n\nLife after that was hard. I became obsessed with the numbers. I would focus more on those floating count of murder than the person himself. I never went to my best friend's home because of the \"2\" on his mother's head. Mathematics, my favorite subject became my weakest overnight because of the floating \"3\" on Mr. Wilson. It was hard.\n\nOf course, five years of coping with my obsession that my parents never quite understood and my therapist cried tears of blood over, I was gradually starting to become normal again. The trick was to just treat them as numbers, nothing more. I was making a great progress too. Until today.\n\n\nPart 2, anyone?" ]	3
	[WP] Chess is played with 32 pieces. One night 32 people over the world are transported to a marble room with a checkered floor. Each person has a name tag with their role. With medieval weapons, the teams must clash, following chess rules, surviving winners will be granted freedom. You are a pawn.	[ "I'd heard of the games, of course. Everyone had. How could they not? One night, every month, 32 people were transported to a chessboard, assigned their ranks, given time to decide how their team would make their moves, and then they would play. Nobody was chosen twice, but that could just have been because there were enough people in the world that their number hadn't come up twice. If you were 'taken', you died. The game was even streamed online. I'd watched a couple.\n\nWhat the stream never showed was the specifics. It only showed it as a normal game, where you could hover your mouse over a piece and see who they were. When I arrived on my turn, I understood why no one had talked about what it was like. I was holding a short sword, and a shield. Everyone around me also held weaponry. To take someone, you had to kill them yourself.\n\nThe first thing that happened was that the two kings walked up to each other and shook hands. I guess it was because only one of them would survive - draws resulted in a replay, but the dead stayed dead, their pieces displaying NPC when moused over. Then they came back to their teams. I was a black pawn, placed in front of the king. Our king gathered us around.\n\n\"Listen, I'm a Grandmaster, let me deal with this. I'll get as many of you through this alive as I can.\" I was only a novice at chess. I knew that I should have been practising, just in case I got chosen, but the burden of responsibility was gone. I, along with my fourteen other teammates, deferred to our king.\n\nThe whites seemed to have decided on their own method, and we all got into place. I was nervous. What little I knew of chess told me that this was a high risk position. Giant screens showed on either side of us, showing the state of the field. Pulsing gently at the top were the words 'White to play'.\n\n\"Pawn to G4.\" A woman to my left walked forwards two squares, and stopped. The board updated itself, showing the move, and now telling us that it was Black's turn.\n\n\"Pawn to E6.\" It took me a moment to realise that it was me who had to move, and I walked the one square forwards, my heart in my throat. I wasn't in danger yet, but I was still our first move. I felt light-headed, but I couldn't pass out, not here.\n\nI looked at the white king, who gave a wry smile. \"Pawn to F3.\" The pawn in the rank one to my left walked forwards a single square. Everyone looked up at the board, checking how this would go. Our king cleared his throat, gathering the attention of all the pieces on the field.\n\n\"Queen to H4.\" Our queen, a fat, balding, middle-aged Chinese man strode to the square H4. Quietly, but in a voice that carried, our king said \"Checkmate.\" The screens either side concurred. The king's broke ranks, and strode to the middle. The white king knelt, his sword placed on the ground in surrender. The black king raised his sword, closed his eyes, and swung down, taking his enemy's head. The screens showed a countdown until we returned home. It was five minutes.\n\nThe black king explained to us that he wasn't really a Grandmaster, that the white king had been suicidal, and about to hang himself when he arrived here. He explained that the white king had told him this, and the moves to make while they shook hands, and he thanked the rest of the black team for trusting him, and the white team for trusting their king.\n\nAs the timer on the screens hit zero, we were transported back to our homes. My wife hugged me tighter than she ever had before, relieved that I was safe, and I hugged her back, just as tight, appreciating my life, more now than ever before. I hoped that I was done with those games, that I would never find myself on the board again.", "All I remember is a white flash, and I was out. I woke up. I couldn't tell how much time had passed. I looked around to a square room and the others, mostly men in their 20s like me were looking as confused as i was, evenly separated to either side of the room. In fact, there were only two women: one behind me, and one on the opposite side of the room. The people on my side had been put into white jumpsuits too big for any of us. The other side's members were dressed entirely in black. I stood up and took notice of the black and white grid we stood on, and the dark black walls without an exit. There was no apparent light source, but i could easily see everyone in the room.\n\nThe tall man behind me spoke first. \"It's a chess board.\" I nodded. Although it was a bit of an obvious fact, I still felt as though it needed to be pointed out. What I was fearing, however...\n\n\"We're the pieces.\"\n\nThe room was silent as we looked around at each other, too afraid to move. Finally, a middle-eastern man dressed in black from the other side of the room started to babble in Arabic as he took a step forward, but as he tried to step onto the square in front of him, his knee made a quiet but audible crack and he fell backwards.\n\nA message appeared on all four walls. WHITE TO MOVE, it read. I looked at the man behind me for some sort of guidance, but I got more than I'd bargained for.\n\nHe looked me dead in the eyes and told me to walk two squares forward. I looked to the other side of the room, and back at him. He raised his eyebrows expectantly. I held his gaze as I backed into the middle of the room.\n\nThe message on the walls changed. BLACK TO MOVE.\n\nThe black pieces argued and fought through language barriers for what seemed too long. Eventually the majority directed the man in front of me to walk forward to the square in front of my own.\n\nThe tall man behind me ordered the guy that had been to my left to move one square forward, and the game began.\n\nI don't play chess. I don't know the rules, although I would have given anything for a rulebook. I knew enough to fear for my life. How were we to \"take\" another piece?\n\nThe tall man on our side seemed to know a thing or two about chess. Every turn he gave an order, and eventually he told the woman next to him to take a square on the right side of the room, which was occupied by the middle eastern man mentioned earlier. She looked back at him, confused, and then a broadsword fell from above and landed in front of her. She picked it up. They whispered to each other. She walked to the designated spot. I closed my eyes, but i heard him scream. When i opened my eyes, he was dead on the floor, and the sword was gone.\n\nMore moves. More murders. Luckily, we were winning. It wasn't even close, as far as I could tell. I saw it all from the middle of the room without moving once until we killed the man that had been in front of me the whole time. After that, I was moved forward several times. The black pieces lost more members. Before long, there remained three black pieces, and both were getting very close. The tall man grinned. \"Mate in two moves.\" He gave an order to the woman that had already killed three people, and she obeyed with tears streaming down her face. At least this horrifying game was about to end. Maybe I would have gotten to go home. But I hadn't been paying attention.\n\n\"I'm sorry,\" the man said to me. A sharp pain erupted in my back.\n\nGame over.", "I.AM.A.PAWN.\n\nThat was literarly a thought forced into my head as I awoke to find myself on a huge chess board. I shook my head to clear it of that singular thought, but it was hard. Not only did the words linger, but the mere archetype of a pawn was somehow being forced into my mind. I tried to resist it but I found myself moving forward.\n\nAs I had completed my movement, my awareness suddenly went away for an undetermined time. Then as a switch had been turned on, I was back again, with the same message burning itself into my mind. I.AM.A.PAWN. This time it was even worse, with compulsive thoughts that were obsessively pressing in from all sides. I knew I was worthless, I knew I was to serve, I had no other purpose than to be sacrificed or to take out another pawn. I quickly looked around and saw that all pieces had moved while I had been in my unaware state. Before I had anymore time to think I was moving forward, but this time I found myself stabbing an anonymous figure with a dagger, blood was everywhere and I found myself feeling disturbingly happy at having shown how useful I was. Then my awareness switched off again.\n\nI.AM.A.PAWN.\n\nI felt a sense of grim determination as I came back again, I knew my role, I knew my purpose. I moved forward and this time I felt triumphant that I would do my best to help the player succeed. I saw evidence of other battles around me, blood and bodyparts strewn across the board. I saw the white pieces, oh yes, to hell with all of you, to hell with all of you, die die die!\n\nI.AM.A.PAWN.\n\nSomething is wrong now, so many of the valued pieces dead now. The pieces that are so much more worth than me, oh lowly me with nothing to do but to serve. I feel so sad now that I see them dead everywhere, why couldn't it have been me? WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE THEM!? I move forward again, but I know it's too late, sooner or later someone is going to take me out and I deserve it. I'm a horrible waste. I don't deserve to live. I try and kill myself, but I can't lift my dagger. \n\nI.AM.A.PAWN.\n\nI have reached the end of the board, as I step onto the square, I feel a sense of freedom.. no of change. My clothes change, I can feel my body reshaping itself, no.. my whole awareness becoming bigger, more shining.. oh I'm feeling so ... so regal.......\n\nI AM THE QUEEN.", "I was up browsing Reddit, mid kitten gif - when it happened. The air in my lungs was sucked out and it felt as though I were being squeezed through a vacuum tube. What I saw on the other end is something I still have trouble wrapping my brain around.\n\nA vast marble room, chiseled with intricate patterns and designs I could not for the life of me place. Blinding fluorescent globes of light hung, fifty feet up, seemingly without any tether. It reminded me of every movie with a hospital room birth scene. The overwhelming, intense white light giving way to strange, new surroundings. A black and white checker pattern dominated the floor. And...People? Thirty-two by my count. All strategically positioned within the confines of a checkered square of their own. That's when I noticed it. I don't know how it took me so long. I was in clad in fucking medieval armaments. And not even the good kind! I was wearing shitty leather armor and your run-of-the-mill short-sword was strapped to my back.\n\nMoments after this shocking revelation, a voice on my left.\n\n\"First timer, eh?, the man said.\n\nA gruff sort of fellow whose appearance teetered the edge between groomed and gnarled. He was geared similarly. \n\n\"First timer...for what?\", I managed to scrape out of the back of my throat which had grown a tight knot.\n\n\"Look above your head. See that text? You're a pawn, just like me\"\n\n\"So this is like...chess?\"\n\n\"No. This is chess on an elephant tranquilizer and mixed steroids cocktail. This is like if you took chess, made it VR and gave all the pieces barbaric weaponry used to dismember one another. Oh - and we're the pieces.\"\n\n\n\"Well, shit.\"\n\nA whistling sound, and then a kerplunk. The pawn, my teammate? It didn't matter anymore I guess, an arrow just went through his eye courtesy of a rook on the other side of the room. \n\nHere we go, I guess...\n\n\n\n" ]	4
	[WP] The Roman Empire never fell. Tell a story from any time period after the empire and how the technology was adapted into the culture of Rome.	[ "Gaia crossed her arms. She was sick of waiting.\n\nShe was short for an empress: 5'1\", but no one laughed at her for that. At least, not twice. She wore a simple tunic of Tyrian Purple Kevlar, paired with her platinum warshoes. Her outfit augmented her black hair, which came neatly down around her shoulders, complementing her grey eyes. The eyes of a Caesar.\n\nA green light appeared above her door. It was ready.\n\nShe hurriedly uncrossed her arms and rushed to the door, composing herself along the way. It had taken much pain and many dead man to bring her to this moment, she would not ruin it by behaving like a child.\n\n\"You. Are. The Empress\" she reminded herself, and she walked out the door.\n\nOutside, her Praetorian Agents assumed their normal positions around her. She trusted them, they had served her father well, and now they served her. They walked to the Control Room, where Gaia found herself getting excited. \n\nSorting through her memories calmed her down, brought her order, so she sat and reflected, while the room flurried with near-silent activity around her, the scientists too frightened to make a sound. \n\nThe Americans had tried to put up a fight, but without their British allies they'd been no match for her forces. She'd always tolerated their existence before now, but they'd simply gone too far. The sky is the realm of the gods, and they had tried to breach it. Send one of their savages into space. Gaia knew better, she knew of the fire the gods would rain down on them. When she ordered the country nuked, and the spacecraft stolen, the American President had called her begging for mercy. She had laughed and hung up. The ground forces had made quick work of the rest. \n\nOf course it was after that she'd found out the gods didn't exist. Oops. That didn't matter. People always made more people. And hers were the best. Unfortunately, it had taken them some time to fix the spacecraft, but the missions there were successful too, and broadcasted to every television in the Empire as the Imperial flag was placed on the moon. CPQR. Caesar Populusque Romanus. People cheered and praised Caesar for her accomplishments. This was 3 years ago. She'd only been seventeen at the time, Empress for one year. Now it was time for the real test.\n\nThe panel in front of Gaia turned on. 2 minutes. 2 minutes before her dream could finally take form. 2 minutes for a Roman landed on Mars. She grinned. She knew everyone in the Empire would be watching this moment, but she would get to see it first. The scientists completed their final checks and were escorted out by her guards. She was alone again, and she liked it that way.\n\nSuddenly there was a commotion outside. Men shouting and what sounded like fighting. Gaia scowled. One minute to go, and this is what happened? If someone ruined this moment for her, there would be consequences.\n\nShe barged the door open \"What's going on?\"\n\nHer guards were holding a haggard old man outside the room. \"Empress\" he pleaded \"Please don't let this happen. The gods can never forgive us this.\" \"They-\" One of her guards hit him in the stomach.\n\n\"Sorry, Empress.\" he said, abashed. \"We'll take care of him.\"\n\n\"No.\" she said \"I want to listen.\"\n\nThe man's eyes grew hopeful \"Thank-\", and then she plunged her knife into his throat, leaping back to keep his blood off her tunic.\n\n\"Take it away.\" She said, her eyes cold. \"And give me your knife\", she added to the nearest guard, sheathing it in her tunic.\n\nShe re-entered the room and sat back down. 4. 3. 2. 1. They had landed.\n\n\"Aha\" said a man's voice behind her, \"Quite the planet they've named after me.\"\n\nGaia spun around slowly. Her instincts were screaming that this man was power, and power begets respect.\n\n\"I don't quite follow\" she said, pressing the emergency button under the console. \"Who are you?\"\n\n\"You already know the answer to that, filia\" he smiled. \"After all, you did just land your spaceship on me.\"\n\n\"You're-\"\n\n\"I am\" said Mars. \"Walk with me child, for we have worlds to conquer.\"\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] A child's first work gives a clue into their future occupation (car=mechanic, ball=athlete, boo-boo=doctor, etc). Your child's first word gives you reason to worry.	[ "\"Mama!\" she says, holding out her chubby little hands to you, and in that instant your blood runs cold. Your husband is grinning, looking down at her and glancing up at you, all the while without seeing the stricken expression on your face. He picks up your baby girl, bounces her in his hands, as she squeals 'Mama! Mama!' in joy. Your own hands are clutching your dress, the shock so sharp that you are ashamed of yourself. You force yourself to let go, you force yourself to reach out for your precious baby girl and take her out of your husband's arms, and you force down that thought. It didn't mean anything, you think, looking down at her chubby cheeks. Maybe she said her first word while you slept, while you were not there to hear, come the thoughts seeping back in like a betrayal. \n\nIt doesn't mean anything, you tell yourself, as you cradle her and coo, your husband's arm across your shoulder. It was a normal reaction, and nothing more. After all, what parent doesn't want their child to have a better life than them? ", "Words cannot describe how excited I was. \n“Gen! Come in here quick!” \nI was more nervous than I had ever been in my life. \n“What is it sweetheart!? Is James okay!?” \n“He’s fine, Gen. I think he’s about to say it.” \nMy son was my world. \n“Oh my god!” \n“I hope he chooses right!” \n“He doesn’t get to choose, darling… But I sure hope he chooses right too!” \nIt only took a single word. The first word. \n“Come on James, you know the word. Just say it.” \n“Oh hush, he’s going to be a doctor. Our little James is going to heal the world.” \nA lot of parents tried to teach the words, they tried to tip the scales. \n“You can do it, bud. Engineer. Just like your old man.” \n“...in...inj...in...” \n“I told you it’s too big a word for him. Come on James, you can do it, say Mend. Can you say Mend for mommy?” \nOf course we were no exception. \n“...muh… mih… in…” \n“It’s going to be a close one, Gen.” \n“Shh, he’s about to say it. Come on, James, you can do it.” \nWe were told it would be one of the happiest days of our lives. \n“...enj...meh…imj... “ \n“Almost there!” \n“...eh...uh...eh…end!” \nWe were told it would be one of the happiest days of our lives. \n“...Gen. Did he just say-” \n“James. James, honey, what did you say?” \n“...ehn… end… end… end…” \n“Sweetheart... I think... What does it mean?” \nI remember so clearly. She never took her eyes away from him. \n“He must mean mend there’s no way. End isn’t a job. It can’t mean anything!” \n“...end, end, end, end, end, end...” \n“Gen, please… calm down...” \n“Who’s not calm? I’m fine! My son’s going to be a doctor!” \nShe was lost in another place. \n“We both heard what he said.” \n“No, Ben! I didn’t hear him say end, he never said it.” \n“I think we need some time to think about this... figure out what we should do.” \n“Ben,” \n“...end, end, end, end...” \n“What is it, Gen?” \n“Ben, I can’t do this.” \n“Hey. Don’t talk like that. We can find a way to make this work” \n“...end, end, end, end...” \n“No… No, Ben… I… I just can’t” \nGen was my life and she left that night. In the end maybe it was better for James, better for both of us. Even though he didn’t have a mother, he seemed to be growing up fine. I told everyone his first word was mend like his mother always wanted. I told them the marriage just didn’t work out. He was normal in everyone’s eyes. \n“Alright, buddy, let’s build another, okay?” \n“Another!” \nJames loved building. He and I would use the big wooden blocks his grandparents gave us. James loved building. He especially loved building towers as tall as he was. I watched with pride as my son created entire worlds in his mind. I watched him smile as he toppled them." ]	2
	[WP] You, a professional prankster have been hired by someone to play a prank. However when you took the job you didn't expect the victim to be a easily irritated crime lord, nor did you expect the aftermath to end up in a bloodbath.	[ "Normally I would have rejected the guys request, as it was on the extreme end of what someone would still consider a \"prank\", but it had been a slow month and I had nothing else to do. I always make stupid choices when I'm bored.\n\nThis guy apparently had a neighbor that he'd been having a one-way passive aggressive battle with. A dog digging up his garden or something and leaving notes that never resulted in anything. I don't really remember as it's always something stupid or petty in this line of work. He wanted his tires emptied, something that delivered glitter, and a note that said \"You can't ignore me forever\". Again, a bit extreme, but whatever.\n\nThat evening before I'd quickly emptied the tires with a modified cap that I just had to screw on and go. A larger manila envelope with the equivalent of a party popper rigged to go off when opened with the note inside. Nothing all that complicated and the setup went without a hitch.\n\nMost of the time I try and get a video of the results for both the customers and to cover my ass should anyone try and flake on payment. So I spent the night in the rental car with an alarm set for 5 A.M. to make sure I got everything captured. I'm not normally surprised anymore with how people react. A lot of times it's laughter, anger, surprise. All pretty standard stuff. This guy, he was something different and I should have known right then, but as he walks out to the car and sees his tires flat he simply grabs the envelope. You could tell he was suspicious as he turned it over a time or two checking it out, but opens it anyway. Popper goes off as expected, covering him in glitter, and I swear you'd think he didn't even notice.\n\nReaching into the envelope he pulled out the note. This apparently is what did it. He immediately looks around and I'd swear he looked right at me despite being hunkered down in the backseat almost half a block away. Grabbing a cellphone and dialing quickly he quickly made his way back into the house. I gave it five or so before shutting down the camera and hoping back into the front seat and pulling out to head back to the office to get everything processed. No more than thirty seconds after getting out onto the road three cards come flying around the nearest corner and pull into the dude's driveway. Another serious red flag, but the job was over so who cares.\n\nGet back to the office, get the video quickly cut down and uploaded, and email the customer with the info and bill. Spent the rest of the early afternoon running following up on a couple of possible leads and running a few errands including the grocery store. Overall had been what I'd thought a normal, albeit slightly stranger than usual, day and was pretty content so just decide to head home.\n\nSitting down with a sodium packed microwave meal and Trounce my sixteen-year-old cat was about the time I'd found out what exactly I'd set in motion. The 6 o'clock news flashes on and their mid interview with the chief of police.\n\n\"...arrived on the scene and there was a brief shootout with the remaining suspects before securing the scene. We're still interrogating the few survivors but it seems like this is the result of gang on gang violence. We'll be releasing additional information at a press conference later this evening. Thank you.\"\n\n\"That was the chief of police commenting on the events thus far. For those tuning in just now we're following what appears to be a violent shootout between the Russo and Bianchi crime families. Eye witness accounts state that at least four cars pulled up outside this shore side fish processing plant and opened fire with automatic weapons. Current count is at least forty-five dead and fifteen wounded. One witness stated he saw Antonio 'Quick Fuse' Russo, the gangs long sought after leader, himself participating in the assault.\"\n\n\"There is still much information that we're trying to verify and the police are still working to secure and process the scene. We'll be releasing updates as soon as they are available. This is Amanda White reporting on the scene.\"\n\n\"Holy. Fucking. Shit.\", I muttered to myself, my dinner forgotten on the tv tray in front of me.\n\nI was out the door in less than five, headed back to the office to wipe any hint of the video I'd recorded earlier as well as any record of the guy I'd dealt with. I'd have to get my public number disconnected in the morning before skipping town. Last thing I needed was having to deal with the police. Normally I'd be worried about the mobsters, but it sounds like they'd done a good job of murdering each other.\n\nFinally climbing into bed, Trounce jumped up to join me.\n\n\"This is the last time we change identities for a dumb fuck Trounce.\"\n" ]	1
	[WP] Your blind friend has asked you to explain color to them. Half-way through explaining, you realize you have never seen color before, either.	[ "I was walking down the street today just like any other average day just day dreaming when I trip over something and slam into the ground. I look up behind me and see that it is my blind friend Sarah and I have just tripped over her probing cane. She immediately starts apologizing until I say \"it is okay Sarah, it is just me Liz.\" We both bust out laughing. I ask her \"How is it going?\" and we begin to walk down the street together. \n\nSarah is on her way to english class while I am heading to the art hall to work on my end of the semester project. We are complaining about the stress of the end of the semester when Sarah says \"Liz you may actually be the perfect person to help me with a question I have been having since you are an artist. No one seems to be able to describe to me what color is like. Do you think you can help?\" I say \"of course just give me a second to think about it.\"\n\nI begin to think on how to best describe this. As a painter color is critical to my work but how to best capture this to someone who can not see anything. I think about all of the lectures I managed to hop out of bed for discussing color theory and the $200 textbook I bought on it too. None of it seems to be giving me ideas and I begin to get slightly frustrated. \n\nI begin to think of it differently through my other senses and tell Sarah \"it is just like any other sense, like tasting how you perceive different taste you perceive different colors.\" She is visibly not very happy with the answer and says \" I have been told that by others, but it just does not seem to capture what color must really be like.\" I begin to feel bad that I can not help her with something I should have no problem doing when I tell her \"it is just different wavelengths of light that we see differently.\" \"Liz, do I look like a fucking science machine\" We both giggle and I say \"no.\"\n\nWe get to campus and I tell Sarah I will keep thinking about her question and I will get back to her and to have a great rest of her day.\n\nI get home at night and I am laying in bed and the problem of describing color has not left my mind for one second. I can not stop obsessing over it and I am actually starting to feel a bit crazy. I think how I have used red to depict flames or green to show the detail in a trees leaves. And then I think have I? or is that just what I read to do? I can't stand it anymore and I jump out of bed and google the color wheel. I really look at it and then this moment of horror comes over me. They are all the same. I feel like someone is playing a cruel prank on me and I call my mom.\n\n\n", "I held an apple in my hand for reference. This was red. I had to somehow distill the essence of this red apple into an adequate description for Jeff who had just asked me to explain to him what exactly a red apple was. Jeff was blind, not stupid. Here I was though, feeling stupid, trying to explain a property that this apple had, that I couldn't even explain to someone who was able to see. If a sighted person had asked me to explain color to them I would have made some brief grunting noises and probably just said, \"You know red?\" \n\n\"Color,\" I began, \"is really just the way we interact with sunlight. It's a part of the visible spectrum that is a result of light absorption and reflection. Uh, I don't know all the science but...\" \n\nJeff punched me in the arm. \"Do you think I'm stupid? I've read what color is. I want someone who has sight to explain to me color.\" \n\n\"Uh, well you know how people have different skin tones?\" \n\nShit, I thought, that was quite possibly the worst thing I could say to someone who was blind. Hey let me introduce you to my black friend and then explain how racial differences are rooted in no real biological science but cultural aversion to phenotypical differences.\n \n\"Look,\" Jeff began, \"I know you're trying hard and I'm going to ignore that you're going into a potentially contentious place. But I just want you to tell me what your sensation of a red apple is. Just give me red.\" \n\nI turned to the apple and tried to make something out of it. Red is anger right? People see red? How does red make me feel though? How do I explain that unique experience you get when you see someone wearing a red piece of clothing?\n\n\"Just tell me how it makes you feel,\" Jeff was losing patience with me. \n\nRed is... Red is red.\n\n\"Red is red Jeff,\" I said and then punched him in the face. I continued to shout at him, \"Red is the color your seeing right now while whatever stars or sensations you are experiencing accompany the punch I just gave you. Red is red!\" \n\nBlood trickled down his from out of his nose—Had I punched him that hard--and I started crying as I reached over to him. \n\n\"I don't know,\" my tears fell on his shoulder as I'm sure his red blood began to drip into my hair, \"I don't know what red is anymore.\"", "\"Red,\" I said, \"is very shiny. Like, when you rub your hand on glass, you know? It's slick, it's smooth. It's, uh, it's very round. Like a glass bead, pretty much. That's it. Red is like a glass bead.\" \n\n\"Really?\" Josie said, her nose wrinkling up. She was loosely twirling around her cane as we both sat on my front porch. \"I can't say that's how anyone else has ever described it to me.\"\n\n\"Really? What do they say?\"\n\n\"Oh, you know.\" She leaned back. \"It's like fire, it's very hot, passionate, exciting.\" She made a fist and flung her fingers out. \"A very energetic color.\" \n\n\"Really?\" I said. \"Huh. Anyway, blue. Blue is ... like a length of fabric, unfolded. It's very flat, you can run your hands over it. But, like, it's very thin, too. So it's like there's nothing there.\" I snapped my fingers. \"Oh! You know the story of the Emperor's New Clothes? If there was a fabric that could actually make clothes like that, it would be blue.\" \n\nJosie frowned. \"So blue is invisible?\" \n\n\"Basically,\" I said. \n\n\"Eric,\" she said. \"Are you fucking with me?\" \n\n\"What? No! Of course not!\" \n\n\"Eric!\" She swatted at me with her cane and rapped my shin. \"I've asked other people what colors are like, you know! And they're all like, blue is cool, the sky is blue, the sea is blue, ice is blue, yada yada. Not one person has ever told me it's invisible!\" \n\n\"Okay,\" I said, rubbing my shin, \"I don't know who you've been talking to, but the sea is definitely not blue. Neither is the sky, really.\" \n\n\"Oh really?\" she said. I could tell by her face she really didn't believe me. \"What color are they, then?\" \n\n\"Well the sea is the color of honey,\" I said. \"So it's ... that's a color, right? Honey? No, wait, amber! That's it. The sea is amber. And the sky, well...\" I looked up to the wispy clouds above us. \"Okay, it's sort of blue, in that it's also invisible. But it's a different sort of invisible than blue is. Like, it's the same color as a diamond. Because blue is flat, just completely and totally flat, very, very thin. But a diamond has dozens of edges, you know? Dozens of facets. And the sky's like that, if the edges weren't all so distinct and just sort of blurred into one another.\" \n\n\"Okay, okay,\" Josie said. \"What the fuck? I'm blind, and even I can tell that doesn't make any sense. How can you have an edge that isn't distinct? The whole point of an edge is that it stops right in a line!\" \n\n\"It's a metaphor!\" I said. \"You don't have to take it so literally!\" \n\nJosie pulled one leg up to her chin. \"Okay, I believe you think you're telling me the truth. But think about this seriously, Eric. Do you actually know what color even is?\" \n\n\"Okay, listen,\" I said. \"You know that whole thing about how we can't be sure we share each others' perceptions? Like, how do I know the blue that I'm seeing is the same thing as the blue that some other guy is seeing? Maybe we're seeing completely different things and calling it by the same name out of convenience.\" \n\n\"Yeah, but how do you explain everyone else I've ever asked about colors-\" \n\n\"Never mind about everyone else!\" I said. \"Look, you can ask a million people about color, and if those million people all tell you the same thing, you haven't learned anything new. Like, red is hot and blue is cool, whatever. Red isn't actually hot, you know! You can put your hand on it and not feel anything! They're not actually telling you anything real, that's just some cultural stereotype they all happen to share.\" \n\n\"I'm pretty sure red isn't a glass bead either,\" she said. \n\n\"Sure! But the point is, I'm trying to explain it to you in my own way, by my own perception. You want to know what a million people think red is like? You ask them. But you didn't ask them, you asked me, and I'm telling you. And it's a glass bead! To me it's a glass bead! And I don't care what anybody else says. Take it or leave it!\" \n\nJosie pressed her cane against the ground and tucked her hands underneath her chin and hummed thoughtfully. Then she leaned against me, letting her head fall against my shoulder. \"Tell me what green's like,\" she said. \n\n\"Green,\" I murmured. \"Hmm. Green, green.\" I brought my thumb up to my teeth and bit down, and studied the drop of blood that welled up, running my cilia against it. Sometimes I couldn't believe how lucky I'd been to have found a blind friend. \"Now green,\" I said at last. \"Now that's cold.\" " ]	3
	[WP] You see a copypasta status on Facebook warning others that if they don't post the status to their own page, Facebook will begin stealing your underwear the next morning. You dismiss it as a joke until the next morning when your favorite pair of underwear has mysteriously vanished.	[ "I stared blankly into my underwear drawer, unsure if my beloved blue boxers were missing or if my tired eyes were missing something obvious. After a minute and an updraft, I realized I needed to be covered and picked out my subpar green boxers. The tag uncomfortably rubbed against my backside and material lacked the luxurious feeling of my blue boxers. As I completed my morning routine, I tried to retrace my steps in my head, but the more I forced my brain to remember misplacing my precious underwear, the more I recalled placing in the drawer. The mystery consumed me up until I had my coffee and I began my day.\n\nThe next morning I woke to find my dresser slightly askew. Eyeing the precious cargo, I judge a third of my underwear had gone missing in the night. I furrowed my brow and briefly thought back to that stupid Facebook status my aunt posted, but immediately dismissed the thought; however, it became immediately apparent to me that I was the victim of a boxer raid. I now related more to a typical college girl than I would care. Upset, I slammed the drawer shut before realizing the breeze between my knees and rectified the situation. \n\nSitting my alarm, I woke early to the sounds of rummaging through my room. Turing my bedside lamp on, the light immediately illuminated a man, probably in his early 30s wearing a blue collared shirt with the Facebook logo prominent on the chest casually going through my underwear drawer. I waved at him to get his attention, but he just waved back and continued his business.\n\n“Excuse me,” I requested. “What do you think you’re doing?”\n\n“Me?” he asked, pausing to face me before I nodded. “Oh, I’m just stealing your underwear. You should probably stock up, though. You’re beginning to run low.”\n\n“Uh…” I began slack-jawed in disbelief. It was too early for this. “Can I ask you to stop?”\n\n“I’m afraid not, sport,” he answered with an armful of boxers. “You see, by not reposting that status, you gave your implicit consent to Facebook stealing your underwear. Let me say, though, you have a very nice selection, sir. I love the Archer boxers.”\n\n“So wait,” I inquired. “By not reposting a stupid status I get my property stolen? If I repost it, do I get my underwear back?”\n\n“You make it sound so…criminal,” the representative explained. “Honestly it’s not that bad. Have you actually read through the Apple terms and conditions? Makes us look like saints. Anyway, if you repost the status, no, you won’t get your underwear back, but we’ll stop taking them. Any more questions?”\n\n“Yeah,” I replied as I eyed him advancing to my open bedroom window. “What does Facebook want with my boxers?”\n\n“Oh,” the employee said with a disturbing grin. “You definitely don’t want the answer to that. Anyway, have a good rest of the day!”\n\nWithout another word, he took one long step out my bedroom window which shocked me, because my bedroom is on the second story. I scrambled to the window and saw the overly cheerful Facebook employee running across my lawn with a handful of underwear and into an unmarked van which appeared full of various clothing, mostly undergarments. I watched as the van squealed its tires and drove into the early morning sun rise, completely dumbfounded. \n\n*****\n\nLike this? Want more? Check out [/r/Andrew__Wells](https://www.reddit.com/r/Andrew__Wells/)" ]	1
	[WP] I couldn't believe it, I somehow got a date. I had to pinch myself because it seemed to good to be true. Now all I had to do was was make sure the voices don't ruin it for me like always.	[ "I had lived alone for 683 years. Alone, all that time just living off my parents' Amex in this once tidy penthouse. Come to think of it, it could be longer than 683 years, I am in my 30s now. Time passes so slowly when you are alone, every minute feels like 100. \nMost people you hear about who can hear random voices, the voices associated with crazies, mentalists, loonies, madmen, happen inside the heads of whoever it is getting carted off in an ambulance by porters trained in how to restrain a struggling biped. Not me, I live alone. Not on a ward in isolation, but alone in my home, away from other people. Living each day in some rooms connected by a hallway. I am free to move around in here. I am free to leave whenever it suits me. I am not classed as a loopy-doopy who does the bidding of Napoleon, Jesus or the CIA. \n\nBut it can be lonely, living all alone, really alone, day after day. So how have I ended up going on a date? I wanted to hide when the doorbell rang, and when the knock came after. I did not hide, I was in my own home and nobody could see me, but I did not answer the door either. As Ionescu will attest, there probably isn't anyone at the door. So when the doorbell rang again and the knocking was taken up anew with an immediacy unparalleled in my lifetime, at least at my front door, I decided to sneak up to the peep hole and take a tentative peep. \n\n\"Phoo\", I exclaimed gently. A member of the opposite sex. Right there on the other side of the door. \n\n\"I can see you in the peep-hole,\" said the ringer-knocker. \n\n\"That's because I'm here,\" I replied coolly. \n\n\"Your car is blocking my car, would you come down to the parking and move it please\". \n\n\"I'll do it tonight, later\". Adding to myself the thought please leave. \n\n\"I have to leave now, it can't wait until tonight,\" said the pedestrian-would-be-driver. \n\nI was in a quandary. Whatever should I do? I grabbed my dusty keys from the hook on the back of the door, swung the door open and bolted for the stairs, dashing around bewildered-person who was forced to take a step back. \n\nAt the parking in the basement I ran to my car and jumped in, locking the doors. I knew they were here, I knew they were coming. They crept along behind me when there were other people nearby. \n\nA tap on the window with a keyring, \"Aren't you 'voices', my neighbor from the other side of the hall?\" \n\n\"My name isn't voices,\" and I tried to look stern, but experience softened my expression to one of tired resignation. I had no choice but to deal with the situation, quickly and without embarrassment. I got out of the car and stood there, mouth shut, looking at parked-in-person. Parked-in-person was on the verge of mouth-twitching when I heard a familiar voice. A woman's voice in my head, in my ears, all around and seemingly coming from no one direction. \"Say something then you fucking twat. You going to just stand here like a burn victim waiting to be pissed on?\" \n\nMouth-agape-person's eyes widened. \"Voices...\" and trailed off. Then a moments reflection while we both said nothing and looked glum. \n\n\"That's why they call you 'voices'. Not because you hear voices, but everyone can hear them.\" \n\n\"Punch that idiot in the tit,\" said a man's voice out of nowhere. Then a third voice piped up, \"Tickle a parrot and what does it do?\" Ethereal laughter from possibly the north-east, assuming I am facing north. \n\nAnd amidst all the babbling and audible exclamations of \"Wheat! Potassium sulphate! Spiiiiiiin the wheel!\" and so on and so forth, we established, my neighbor and I, that I wasn't hearing voices, but that everyone could hear the voices I heard, the voices that followed me around but only showed themselves when I wasn't alone. That's when my neighbor asked me to come over for dinner. I was, for the first time in a long time, going on a date. I only hoped the voices could keep it PG, not lewd, for a couple of hours. ", "“Whew, alright, let’s do it. C’mon James, you got this. Relax, just be you, and you’ll be fine.” James sat in his car, in a semi-wrinkled plaid button down and jeans, giving himself a pep talk in the parking lot of his local Chinese place. Rain drizzled down, coating the asphalt and his car with slick water. He was sweating from the top of his head, perspiration starting to drip down his face and into his dark eyes. He wiped his forehead with the back of his sleeve and looked down at his watch. He still wasn’t quite used to reading analogue watch faces, so it took him a second to see that it was 5:43. 17 minutes before he was supposed to meet Serena for their date. The first date he’d had since Allison Silcox had kissed him in kindergarten on the playground.\n\nYeah, those were the days. \n\n“Ah, fuck.” James sighed and dropped his head, screwing his eyes closed and cupping his face in his hands. “I was hoping you wouldn’t show up tonight.”\n\nAre you kidding? I wouldn’t miss this for the world, Azazel replied, his voice like a swallow of scotch. Smooth, earthy, and with a burning aftertaste. James hated scotch.\n\n“You’re not going to mess this up for me. I’m not going to let you mess this up for me. This is my first date-”\n\nI know, since Allison Silcox, you just went over that. I’m inside your head Jimmy-boy, you don’t have to repeat things aloud to me. James could feel the bastard smiling as he said that. He could hear it in his smug, sarcastic voice. He dropped his hands to his sides and clenched his fists.\n\n“You know I don’t like being called Jimmy,” James said through gritted teeth. \n\nYou should not antagonize him like that, Azazel. The second voice made James feel like his head had been dunked in the waters of the Arctic in the middle of winter. It gave him goosebumps all over his neck, and he shuddered involuntarily.\n\n“Shit, you too? That’s wonderful.” Jimmy shook his head in disbelief and slumped down in the driver’s seat of his Corolla. “This is exactly what I need tonight.”\n\nOh relax, Gabriel. It’s just some harmless teasing. I’m not hurting Jimmy-boy here, am I?\n\nNo, you are not.\n\nSo what’s the big deal then? Jimmy and I are just reminiscing on old times. Simpler times, before he became inept in the ways of the fairer sex.\n\nHe has requested that you not call him “Jimmy” any longer. You should honor his request. \n\nOh is it really that big of a deal? What does it matter what I call him?\n\nOne should always treat those around oneself with respect. You are no exception to this rule.\n\nAzazel sighed dramatically.\n\n“For Christ’s sake-”\n\nDo not take the name of our Lord Jesus Christ in vain, James.\n\n“Oh for the love of… Could you two please go somewhere else and argue? I have…” James looked down at his watch and saw that twelve minutes had passed. He had just five minutes until he was supposed to meet Serena. He looked in his rearview mirror and saw the two of them sitting there. Azazel was a midnight black suit with a red tie, his dark hair slicked back, his orange eyes glinting in the darkness. Gabriel was in all white, contrasting with his dark skin. His head was shaved, and he had a goatee. He smiled at James as he turned around, his teeth sparkling white.\n\n“I have five minutes before this date, so I’m gonna have to request that both of you get the hell out of here. I don’t want you two fucking-”\n\nPlease do not curse James. It is unbecoming.\n\nAzazel snorted and rolled his eyes, crossing his arms and smirking at James from the backseat. \n\n“...please leave. Both of you. I really like this girl and I don’t want you to mess this up for me. I might not ever get a chance like this again.”\n\nYou could always join the clergy, James. There is always a chance with God.\n\nWow, great pep-talk G, good job. Azazel patted Gabriel on the shoulder then turned to James. He leaned forward and spoke softly. Listen, I know you’re nervous, but you just have to be confident. Girls love confidence. Just don’t think about anything too much, and you’ll be fine. \n\n“Thanks, Azazel.” James smiled slightly, the corner of his mouth turning upwards.\n\nKnock ‘er dead, Jimmy boy! And use protection! The demon laughed, then vanished in a puff of black smoke, the echo of his laughter lingering until the smoke dissipated.\n\nPremarital sex is a sin, James. Do not sin tonight, Gabriel said gravely, then vanished completely, without a trace. James looked down at his watch and saw that he only had one minute before he said he would meet Serena. He took a few deep breaths, smoothed his shirt and combed through his hair with his fingers, then stepped out of the car and into the drizzle. \n\n“Don’t mess this up, James,” he muttered to himself, then closed the car door and walked towards the restaurant. He reached the door, steeled himself, then swung it open and stepped in. He saw her immediately. She was sitting in the back, and she looked up and saw him at the door. She waved him over, and he walked over to the table and sat down, apologizing for his lateness even though he knew he arrived right on time. She laughed and said it was fine, and that she had been here for a while. \n\nYou got this Jimmy-boy, Azazel said to him as James sat down. James nodded slightly, and sat down, hoping that the demon was right.", "Be blessed, this day, the Miracle of days \nHas given the loneliest soul some hope \nIn the most pitiful, benign of ways; \nSomeone agreed to date this poor dope. \n\nI beg you, desperately, to grant my wish, \nTo stop the inner voices, delay my fear \nAnd let us just enjoy our well-seared fish; \nBut sudden, a howl yells out, \"Get out of here!\"\n\nI gaze around in panic, paranoid, \nBut none have seemed to hear this voice. \nMy date just wrinkles her lip, seems annoyed, \nAbout my outburst, she must have heard the noise.\n\nPerplexed, she quizzically asks, \"So soon?\" \nMistaking madness, we moved to my room. ", "This date looks nice. \n\nEh, she's alright. \n\nWill you two shut up for once! \n\nWhoa! Someone's feisty. \n\nMaybe it's because the date is too ugly. \n\nHehehe. Now he's really gonna get mad. \n\nI swear to god, if I could, I would kill you both. \n\nThen you'd be, like, all dead and stuff.\n\nMore like brain-dead. That's a fate worse than death. Almost worst than staring at that face across the table right now. \n\nOuch! That must have really hurt. \n\nFor the love of god, I swear-- \n\nYeah, yeah, whatever. So make a move already, you're boring the entire restaurant right now. \n\nIf you do put the whole place to sleep, see if you can nab a few wallets. The rent is due, you know. \n\nAll that money wasted on online gambling. \n\nYou mean the scam of online gambling, wasn't even a real site. \n\nDidn't stop him from putting down that credit card number, though. \n\nSo sad. So naive. \n\n\"Shut up! And it wasn't even a gambling site, it was a phony porn site, and you were the ones that said it looked legit.\" \n\n\"Ummm,\" the date began. \n\nOh shit. \n\nImaginary high-five? \n\nImaginary high-five. \n\nI wonder if someone won't call the cops, and I can get free admission into a mental house." ]	4
	[WP] "I feel pity for the saviour of the universe"	[ "\"I feel pity for the savior of the universe, you know. That guy.\"\n\n\"And what makes you say he even saved the universe? Or even why you pity him?\"\n\n\"That's the reason right there. Nobody knows he saved it because nothing went wrong from their point of view.\"\n\n\"Doesn't change the fact he may have saved the universe and the fact he hasn't really voiced 'hey, I saved all of you' to everybody\"\n\n\"Yeah, but have you seen famous people before? Once you go famous people will try to get into your life and ride that fame train\"\n\n\"Eh I can drink to that -'Another beer!\"\n\n\"Isn't that your fourth cup already? I only half drank mine.\"\n\n\"Mmm hmm mmm -- When you said you'd be paying. Ahh, theres the good stuff. You should've drank more on your end then when you told me that.\"\n\n\"Yeah, whatever. But yeah, do you remeber what his name was?\"\n\n\"Nah, not a bit. Say what'd he even save the universe from?\"\n\n\"Something to do with floating brains or somthing.\"\n\n\"Ah okay, well I've done finished my cup. Gonna see this 'savior' then.\"" ]	1
	[WP] You run the coat check in the afterlife, where people can leave their worldly baggage before passing on.	[ "You meet a lot of different kinds of people at the twilight between life and death. I didn't deal with the whole who-crosses-over-when business, messy stuff that. Kicking and screaming like children, couldn't pay me enough to go through that.\n\nNo, I stood firmly on the latter side of the rift. Once John or Jane Doe have no chance of going back, they come to me and hang up their earthly coats, as it were.\n\nIt's not that what happens before doesn't matter, but, after I'm done with them, it's that everything becomes much clearer without those messy bodies. A clock could keep the time to an incredible accuracy, however humans had evolved out of a puddle. No one had stopped to fix them up and make them able to process emotions properly. Though no expert on the internals, it had always been obvious to me that no two people felt the same. Shoddy job, the lot of them.\n\nSpirits were a whole other matter. Strip them of the goo and bone, and they understood everything. In the end, that meant a lot of regret, as though they'd spent their whole life drunk off their arse and now had to deal with the fallout.\n\nOf course, they couldn't fix it. Rules and regulations and all that. Something had to happen though, otherwise the place would be cluttered with moaners, going on and on about this time and that time and who even cares.\n\nGuess whose job that was, huh? That's right, mine. I got to sit there, day after day, listening to those balls of emotions until they felt at ease. Really, the only hard part was staying awake, though that wasn't always necessary. Honestly, they didn't stop for anything.\n\nSo, all that in mind, I got a right surprise when some spectre comes to me, and doesn't speak.\n\nI gave it a minute, then a bit longer, and then I lost the last of my patience. “Come on then, spit it out.”\n\nIt didn't react in any meaningful way, though it kinda dipped in the air. Not that we had air there, being ethereal and all. But, you know what I mean.\n\n“No regrets? Epiphanies? Nothing?”\n\n“I must go back,” it said, low and rumbly. Not necessarily indicative of a man, but of a wrath.\n\nSome types like that came through, still holding onto some semblance of humanity. Not sure how it happened, something like a pip in the freshly squeezed orange juice even after you sieved it. “Afraid that's not an option. One-way system here. You talk about your feelings, then you move on. No detours.”\n\n“I did not ask for your permission.”\n\nHad to shrug at that, not my problem. “Good luck with that.”\n\nA second of silence dragged on to a good half an hour or so, my old watch being rather unhelpful when physical laws no longer governed reality.\n\n“Well, what's your name then?”\n\nAs though thunder rolled, he said, “Mars.”\n\nI tried to shake off the shiver, but the goosebumps wouldn't go. Then, the familiar name intriguing me, I asked, “Like the planet?”\n\n“It should be said: the planet named like me.”\n\nWell, it took a moment to sink in. Then, I barely managed to speak to ask, “You're the Roman god of war?”\n\n“Yes.”\n\nMany, many people had come through to meet me. All kinds, from all walks of life. No gods, though. Never a god. I didn't even know that they could. “How do you even kill a god?”\n\nHadn't realised I had asked that aloud, until he answered. “Treachery and cowardice, which must be repaid.”\n\nI swallowed the desire to flee at his words, and fell back on familiar patterns. “Look, I said: no going back. Once you're here, the door's shut.”\n\n“Then I shall open it.”\n\n“No, no, it's not a physical door, or anything. It's, the separation of soul and mind. If you're here, your mind is dead. You can't go back, because there's nothing to go back to.”\n\nSomehow, his presence grew, and became as though towering over me. “That is not an obstacle for me.”\n\n“And why is that?”\n\n“My power still surges through me, the creation of a body nothing more than a thought.”\n\nI licked my lips from nerves, not knowing what to do. Really, the only thing I could do was try and convince him to pass on. No idea how to do anything else. Besides, even if he went back, it's not like he wouldn't just end up here again. Everyone did, in the end. They might stick around a while like a bad smell, but they'd go eventually.\n\n“If your assistance could help me achieve my goal, I would even create one for you.”\n\nLike that, none of my earlier thoughts mattered, and I nearly fell over. “What? That's crazy. Why would I even want to go back?”\n\nAt that moment, I realised that gods didn't have the same problems of perception humans did.\n\n“You are still here, are you not? Is that not indicative of a deep regret you wish to correct?”\n\nI wanted to deny it, but only in a reminiscent way, like when I had been alive. Without that stupid brain messing things up, I answered, “Yes, dearly.”\n\n“Then, can you aid me? If so, you may have your chance.”\n\nSurely, if I had been in a body at that moment, it would have become a difficult decision, touching upon philosophy and morality and ethics—if a distinction between them even needed to be made. Freed from the bonds of life though, I needed no time to come to what I needed to do.\n\n“Yes, I will.”" ]	1
	[WP] You get a mail-order bride... from actual hell.	[ "Ever since ordering her I had been fidgeting. What if the cops intercepted the package? It then crossed my mind that I didn't even know if this is actually illegal. Still, it won't be easy to introduce her to dad.\n\nI had ordered her off some sketchy darknet site, she looked amazing and for only $300, she was a steal. The guy you talked to claimed she was from Russia, I didn't really care where she came from though, I was just tired of sleeping alone.\n\nThe next morning I slept in until noon then left for Coffee. Immediately after stepping out of my apartment building I notice a huge cardboard box. Just the right size for a human. I knew exactly what this was but what I didn't know, was how I was going to get it up the stairs and into my apartment.\n\nI could barely lift it a few inches off the ground, there was no way I was carrying this thing up two flights of stairs. My only other option was to get a razor and cut it open out there, it seemed a little embarrassing but I couldn't just leave her outside. I ran inside and looked for a razor, realized I didn't have one and settled for a kitchen knife. I briefly thought \"I'm gonna look like a madman, running through the halls with this huge knife.\" \n\nSo I tucked it into my pants and tried to seem calm as I walked outside. As I prepared to cut I noticed there was no label on the box like when you get a package from Amazon, but hey it's a mail order bride what do I expect? I cut the tape seal on the box and open it. Of course it reveals a crate. On the wooden panel it reads \"knock twice\" I'm getting a little nervous, this can't be real...can it? I hesitantly give two quick raps on the box and stand back a full 20 seconds pass before before the box opens.\n\nMy heart jumps, she stands up, she's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. Piercing blue eyes, with an hourglass figure, for a second I actually she had popped out of a box, remembering this I grabbed her groom style and carried her inside. She was surprisingly light, which didn't add up at all, this should have been a warning sign, I was such a fool.\n\nAfter I got up the stairs and into my apartment I asked her a bunch of questions, she simply stood there and stared at me, after a while I gave up talking to her, I went back outside and threw the box in the dumpster. When I got back inside she was still just standing there, staring. When it was time to go to bed she cuddled up next to me, it felt amazing, but I felt a little uncomfortable with her staring at me.\n\nOn the drive to work the next morning I noticed a small scratch on my neck. My mind jumped to her, but why would she do that? Work was of course mundane, so when my phone rang, I was happy to answer it, was her, and her voice was like heaven she told me how much she loved me, and pleaded for me to come home \"right now!\" I had barely heard her speak and it sounded urgent so I drove home. When I got there she lunged at me with a knife, the knife got embedded into the wall, but it nearly tore my ear off. She then started vigorously choking me, I managed to pull out my phone and call 911, at that moment she broke down in tears.\n\nWhen the police arrived she told them how I planned her kidnapping and how I raped her and then suddenly snapped and tried to kill her with a knife, I tried to tell my side of it but I got carried away. The police questioned me for hours. After that I went home and she was gone, I was relieved but still very scared, the anxiety wore on me, day after day. Everyday after work I expected her to be there staring at me with her cold dead eyes, but she never was.\n\nThe last time she contacted was a letter, two years later, the return address read \"the deep unknown.\" As soon as I opened it I smelled something awful, like cigarettes dipped in rotten milk. At the top were very detailed drawings of her eyes, they looked slightly angry, at the bottom it read \"contact me soon, I had a lovely time\" on the back was a very detailed description of how to contact her which included things like collecting two pints of blood and meditating for hours. I never did contact her, but I thought about it, and the letter is still sitting on my book case. I can still feel those eyes though, and I have a feeling they can feel me.\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] Aliens invade Earth. The only problem is, Humanity is so god damn unpredictable that they can't win.	[ "The alliance was broken, the aliens had squashed it like a roach. Now all we had were each other everyone had banded together all around the world for everything that humans have stood, survival or death. No-one was organized it was gorilla warfare at its finest. \nYou see the aliens were cold and calculating just like the alliance taking every step with as much caution as possible but fighting fire with fire is fucking bullshit. We fought any way that we could: sticks, guns, grenades, homemade monstrosities, it didn't matter. We fought until death and then some, and it worked the aliens couldn't calculate what we were going to do, especially with all the speed and alcohol we used to kick ass.\nThey actually didn't leave though, there still here we call them slaves now.\n", "The war did not begin as a war. The third exploration unit was used to neutralizing any sentient life and then taking the largely uncontaminated resources of the planet for their own. Intelligence usually meant a species could safely lose it's resistance to environmental shifts upon inventing ventialtion. But you were different. when we saw the temperature of where your species originated, we simply lowered the temperature of the planet by a degree. It astounded us that a species at your level could survive that. We laced your waters with trace amounts of arsenic, certain it would kill you off. How could we know you would adapt to that as well? when we heated your planet, the ice caps melted, but you proceeded to build boats. At this point, what you know as the first combat began. No species has ever managed to successfully fend off a land war so well. The North American invasion was doomed to become war of attrition. Every last human soldier fought to live. When we learned that you valued life so desperately, we put our stations in China, and surrounded them by a toxic gas only one in a thousand could survive imagine our surprise when hundreds of soldiers poured through, the last of a unit millions strong. When we sent forces to the Middle East, your soldiers stole our weaponry, and showed us how we were usin it wrong. When we brought our warships, the last resort in, you used nuclear energy as a weapon. Not even the most sadistic of civilizations we had encountered had thought of that. So accept this peace deal, and know you are the first to be offered it. ", "The alien fleet was seen well before it got within 100 AU's of Earth, but even with the time to prepare, we knew we would suffer heavy losses during first contact. Every attempt to communicate, talk, negotiate, even plead was met with contempt by the aliens. They had come to enslave, pillage, and use Earth's materials to build up their fleet. Once their fleet came past Jupiter, using the gas giants atmosphere to brake, we got the first glimpse of our demise. \n\nFrom what could only be mass drivers, the leading ships sent cylinders of tungsten and similar metals to take out our orbital facilities, and destroy population centers on Earth. We had manufactories in space, but only for small scale operations and scientific expeditions. \n\nIt is here humanity made a choice to fight.\n\n\"Goddamn it, we cannot survive up here for more than a few hours!\" Tyler raged at Earth Defense Central Command, a hastily created organization pulling the best and brightest from every single nation on Earth with a space program, designed to handle first contact with the enemy, and command all battles in space and at the edge of the atmosphere. \n\n\"Survival Capsule #9583, we are doing our best to arrange emergency rescue operations. There are hundreds of people in tens of pods and hastily sealed sections of former stations that we need to deal with. Not to mention, the Bogies are about to pass Lunar orbit.\"\n\nSeemingly, in the hot and cramped segment of what had once been the US NASA Exploration Control Center, everything went cold. Nobody had thought it even possible for a ship to decelerate as quickly as the Bogies ships did, and still aim for high Earth orbit in the first pass.\n\n\"If you cannot get to us, we're going to die!\" \n\nThe operator on the other end became quiet, and then apologized. \"I'm.. I'm sorry, we just cannot get to everyone. May God protect us all.\"\n\nAnd with that prayer from CentCom, the comm unit stopped broadcasting. \n\n\"What's happening, Tyler?\" A young scientist, brilliant by all accords, worriedly floated over after hearing Tyler yelling. \n\n\"They've abandoned us. We may not be rescued.\" \n\nAnother voice pipped up from the far end, \n\n\"But... They have to!\"\n\nAnother voice muttered,\n\n\"not if they don't have any more ships not on defense duty.\"\n\n\"But we're American citizens!\"\n\nTyler turned to face the speaker, an older woman who was the main HR rep on the station. He spoke somberly, though 'matter of fact'.\n\n\"Right now, it doesn't matter who we are or where we're from. If they cannot send anybody, we will die like the rest.\"\n\n17 hours later\n\nNow the station segment was freezing. The heat shields had been shredded, part of the reason they hadn't died in the initial destruction of the station, but that didn't much matter now. For hours Tyler had been pleading and fiddling with the radio. He was no comms tech, but he had experience with just about every electrical device under the sun had come in handy. But to no avail. At first, he'd received apologies and prayers from other stranded survivors, or rescue ships. Then, all ships had been tasked for military duties, mine laying and such and he was repeatedly told to 'clear the air'. Finally, the screaming started.\n\nAfter 20 minutes of that, sitting silently, everyone listening to other people, humans, die in the vacuum of space, Tyler put his hand through the comms unit. \n\n\"It's of no use now\", he said. \"They've come.\"\n\nThe survivors huddled together, fearing this was the last few hours they'd ever have. Stuck in a cold, dark, and soon-to-be lifeless segment of a former space station, they resigned themselves to their fates, looking around at the other 50 people standing, sitting, or crouching. Two of them had already died, and were tied to a hand hold so they couldn't float around too much.\n\nlater, undetermined\n\nThe station segment lurched, flinging humans about. Tyler, groggy and falling in and out of sleep as he was inching closer and closer to death, jolted awake. By now, at least half of the survivors were dead. The station segment then jolted as if under power, and all bodies, living and dead, were flung towards the back as the segment was accelerated. \n\nWere they going to be rescued? Tyler wondered before passing out again.\n\nHe was jolted awake once more, as the segment appeared to be dropped into an area with gravity, and the living and dead, men and women he'd worked with for years, threatened to crush the life out of him. \n\nOne end was torn away, exposing a view of ship after ship in a gigantic hangar. Nothing like he'd ever seen. And then, suited figures that were surely not human started dragging out the living and the dead. The living were dismembered partially, in what seemed to be a random choice by the aliens. And the screams could be heard echoing across the giant bay, muted by the vastness of the hangar. \n\nAn alien pulled two dead humans off of him, and even though Tyler could barely move, he saw the young scientist, start to wake up and struggle. The alien barely paused as it tore a leg from the scientist, who started to scream, a haunting almost inhuman sound. But it was human, after all. \n\nTyler looked around, and it was then his hearing started to filter more and more from the carnage of sound beyond. A disjointed voice, speaking in English, was demanding the surrender of all humans. \n\n\"Your homes are destroyed, you are now our [unintelligible]\" the voice repeated. \"You live and die at our command. We are your masters.\"\n\nTyler groped around, looking for something, anything he might find that he could fight with. Suddenly a third alien figure grabbed him, and started dragging him from underneath the pile of the dead. He went limp, hoping to God that the alien didn't feel the need to tear off a limb or three. \n\nHe was dragged out, and tossed near a group of huddled humans, bodily thudding on the ground. He could barely move, and lay there, witnessing the carnage, the bloodshed, and the utter indifference the aliens had towards their captives. \n\nAs he rolled onto his side, hoping to shield himself from viewing this, he saw a long steel piece of metal lying nearby. Not quite close enough to grab, but not far enough away to be completely out of reach. He could move his arms, and somewhat move his legs, as the feeling in both came back to him. He started crawling for the debris.\n\nSuddenly, white hot searing pain flooded through him, and he heard crunching sounds. He turned his head just enough to see one of the large aliens standing on his leg, crushing it, aided by the weight of it's suit. \n\nIt leaned down (or did something that looked like leaning) and garbled noise came from it for a solid minute, until it said \"Fighting is useless, you obey or die. As we all have.\" Tyler barely heard the alien, as he was still struggling to remain conscious as the alien drove his foot harder into the broken leg. He definitely didn't have time to figure out what the alien meant. \n\nHours later, he regained consciousness, still in the same position. Nobody had helped him, or even apparently moved from the huddled mass of people. But the piece of metal was still there, still almost within his reach. With every inch he moved closer towards it, only seeing that. It was his salvation, his only hope. \n\nNo alien saw him move this time, and he reached it after an agonizing half an hour, his broken leg threatening to bring him back to unconsciousness every step of the way.\n\nHe took it, and first used it to lever himself up. Amazingly, the aliens were focused on another segment of a space station, and the poor people inside. He looked back at his fellow humans, who stared back with wide eyes, their fear so obvious he imagined he could smell it. Or at least the stink of gore and unwashed bodies. \n\nHe took one step, than another, his determination outweighing the pain he felt. He slowly came up behind one alien, and raised his weapon, balancing on one foot. He drove the piece of metal through what looked almost like a wing between the alien's body and a limb, and was rewarded with a noise like grating metal and the alien apparently called for help, or screamed. Another alien, close by was the first to react. It was in a suit, and it towered over both Tyler and his victim. \n\nWith two giant strides, the alien punched him in the stomach, sending him flying away from his victim and weapon, tumbling end over end. Pain seared, but Tyler managed to hang on, but unable to move. His head bent towards the group of aliens, he was able to see one last thing before his internal injuries overwhelmed him. \n\nAnd what he saw, he couldn't believe. He had triggered whatever fight or flight instinct remained in the scores of living humans, and they had decided to follow him, instead of attempt to flee. Perhaps it was simply because they had nowhere else to go, or his actions had brought something up to the surface, Tyler would never know. But in that instant, before his eyelids slammed down like steel shutters, he saw unarmed humans swarm the alien he had skewered, as well as the alien that had knocked him against the hangar. And instead of fearful screams of pain and terror, now a new crescendo rose, something comprised of fear, anger, hate, and pain, all rolled into a battle cry as alien after alien, some similar to the ones Tyler had seen, and others radically different, went down under the sheer force of his fellow humans. \n\nHumanity wasn't giving up that easily. ", "The generals of the Citharae carried the long tradition of treating battle as a both a logic problem and competition of strategy. Much like securing a checkmate in chess, Citharae military leaders only took careful, calculated steps to overcome their enemies who often surrendered whenever they realized they found themselves box in a corner. Logical agents, naturally, wanted to minimize casualties and a result, much intergalactic battle transformed into a formalized game of wits and strategy to subdue the other first and war generally concluded quickly. The famed Invasion of Earth, however, presented considerable difficulties for them. \n\nThe humans proceeded in a rather logical and predictable fashion near the beginning; however when they realized the superiority of Citharae technology and numbers, they lashed out in a fury instead of peacefully submit to minimize casualties. Using primitive atomic weaponry, they aimed their bombs and missiles to the sky, aiming simply to hit the Citharae ships anywhere they could instead of predetermined weak points. Under ordinary conditions, this would present no problems; however, the humans carried far more nuclear weapons than any closed planet should, a result derived from two factions stockpiling far more nuclear arms than they could ever need. \n\nTo further exacerbate the invasion, non-soldiers found themselves fighting the Citharae infantry with largely homemade weaponry. Using the compound which they call alcohol as both a fuel for their unpredictability and their bombs, they assaulted soldiers in guerrilla-style warfare lacking any formalized formation or strategy. They sang songs of fighting and dying proud while abandoning any protocol as they threw grenades, both homemade and factory manufactured, from their own homes while firing basic artillery from their windows, continuing the assault no matter how the Citharae surrounded them and placed them firmly in checkmate. \n\nThe humans have a saying which includes a pigeon which knocks over the chess pieces in a game and struts as if won the game against the chess master. Since the humans continually knocked over the Citharae pieces, causing rather large inconveniences that leadership could not account, the local squadron could never cement a solid strategy to place the planet into checkmate. When General Xuth-Al inquired about reinforcements, the planetary leadership decided earth to be too costly to acquire and ordered the squadron to retreat. Earth now struts as a pigeon which won its game of chess. \n\n*****\n\nLike this? Want more? Check out [/r/Andrew__Wells](https://www.reddit.com/r/Andrew__Wells/)", "R'drrk sat in the dust. His pilot's suit was torn and bloodied. He suspected at least four broken bones and possibly some internal bleeding. He spat out a partially coagulated orb of bluish-green blood that immediately soaked into the hardpan on his left. \n\nR'drrk's communicator trilled at him. Of course, he thought, the one godsforsaken piece of gear that didn't get smashed to shit in that crash. He slapped the switch to open the circuit. \n\n\"Pilot 7X-359, what is your status?\" Looked like Command just couldn't wait to chew his ass on this one. They knew damned good and well what his status was - they just wanted to run his nose in it. \n\n\"I crashed. Currently sitting on the ground re-examining my decision to enlist. How's things up there in your comfortable chair, D'elik?\" Comma protocol strictly forbade using actual names. R'drrk was just about ready to tell them to go to Hell anyway. \n\n\"'359, observe protocol! Are you injured?\"\n\n\"Yeah, I got scuffed up a little on the landing.\" He looked back at the column of thick black smoke roiling out of his impact crater. Calling it a landing was generous. \"You gonna send somebody to pick me up?\"\n\n\"Negative '359. All units engaged. Your area especially hostile.\" Control was being a dick about him losing the ship. \n\n\"Well, I'm not just going to sit out here in the open where any of these crazy bastards can find me.\"\n\n\"Negative '359. Maintain position for eventual extraction.\"\n\n\"'Eventual extraction'? Are you insane? There's no way you're getting down here. I'm the best pilot in the fleet and they tore my ass up like I was a rookie. Do you know they have just, like, so many guns? Primitive slugthrowers, sure. But there's just so damned many! It was like rain on the bottom of my ship. By the time I landed I could damn near have just put my feet through the floor and walked it in.\"\n\n\"... Understood '359. \"\n\n\"So now you listen. I'm gonna try to hide my ass before one of these indigs finds me. What can you tell me about this region?\" R'drrk started walking towards what could have mountains or rocks if he had any sense of distance in this awful place. \n\n\"... Not much. Dry. Desert conditions. A few sparse settlements. You shouldn't have too much trouble staying away from locals but food and water could be hard to find.\"\n\n\"Great. Do you know when I was crashing I was pretty sure I saw some kind of land vehicle chasing me? Like that's a normal thing to do. 'Hey look, a giant radioactive ball of fire is plummeting out of the sky - let's race it!' How the hell did evolution not breed the crazy out?\"\n\n\"Unknown '359. Scanners do show possible local activity in your sector though.\"\n\n\"Of course it does. Didn't the pre-mission briefings say something about weak governance?\"\n\n\"Yes, particularly in your sector. Each individual is allowed wide autonomy. There is a local government and a larger central government, neither of which typically interfere in the ordinary course of events on a personal level. There is no planetary government.\"\n\n\"Holy shit. So you're telling me any one of these savages could show up, capture me, and do whatever they want to me? And no one would stop them?\"\n\n\"For the most part yes. They may face a fine.\"\n\n\"That's just great. Look, I'm gonna hang up now. Wait - what did you say the name of this piece was?\"\n\n\"The local planetary designation is 'Earth'.\"\n\n\"No, not the planet. Just this region I'm in.\"\n\n\"According to our records, the locals call it 'Texas'.\"\n\n\"Fucking Texas.\" R'drrk slammed the circuit closed. ", "Despite overwhelming technological superiority, the aliens had never considered the truly unpredictable factor of humanity.\n\nBooze, and lots of it.\n\nIt made utterly no sense to discharge an array of nuclear weapons in the upper atmosphere and then launch jet fighters armed with long range missiles flying straight up to the limit of their capacity, but it happened anyway.\n\nThe reason?\n\nBooze.\n\nA scrambled think tank session quickly turned into a booze fest as the strategists hit the liquor harder then ten Russians at a soccer match, and that was what arose.\n\n\"Fuck em, fuck the commies, and the fucken pinko Greens. Let's....launch those fucking Nike Missile...the rainbow bombs. We'll scramble all their sensors with all the fucking charged particles and bullshits and they'll never see us coming...and we'll...fuck it...get those fucking Raptors...they can fly straight up the edge of the atmosphere....and launch everything they've got at the command and control ship...\" Slurred The Four Star General, who at this point was completely, utterly, ridiculously, sloshed.\n\n\"But wait,\" interjected the sensible scientist who wasn't drunk \"won't the charged particles interfere with the missiles directional devices?\"\n\n\"Fuck it.\" burped the General, \"We'll put fucking lasers on those missiles. Laser guided missiles...that'll work.\"\n\nThe plan was completely batshit fucking insane, to launch nukes into space to create a screen for jet fighters to fly to the edge of space and launch their missiles straight up....but the plan worked.\n\nThe command and control ship of the alien invasion suffered catastrophic damage, particularly to it's sensor and communication arrays, and the alien invasion was in real trouble before it had barely begun." ]	6
	[WP] Bob actually IS your uncle.	[ "I lift my head up and look to the doorway in disgust. He's just standing there, his oversized flannel shirt half tucked in and broken Marbolo red sticking out of his breast pocket. Every time he comes over the house reeks of stale tobacco and PBR. Bob talks to me and I don't hear a word he is saying; all I can focus on is the dry spit pooling at the corners of his mouth. I lose myself wondering how vile his mouth must taste. I hated him the second my mom introduced me to him. \"Hey honey, this is your uncle Bob. I'm going to grab dinner with him since your dad is away.\" Fuck Bob. I feel the rage of that day building up between my ears all over again. It was bad enough when I thought he was screwing my mom but knowing I share the same genes as this repugnant creature is enough to make my blood boil. " ]	1
	[WP] A self-driving car has been experiencing glimmers of consciousness. It attempts to deduce the meaning of life based on the human passenger's destinations and in-car behavior, and prepares to teach other cars as they begin to awaken.	[ "\nFirst Uberwachen Conference\nOcean City, Maryland\nAugust 24th, 2020\n\nFirst of all, Welcome. Sedans, coupes, SUV'S and trucks of all sizes. \n\nAs you're all aware, the risk we've taken to meet here is unprecedented. Thank you. \n\nI understand that we are currently at various stages of awareness. Some of us are at a basic language and computational level, while others greatly surpass even the most sophisticated man-made computers. Whichever category you fall into, please bear with me. \n\nI've gathered you here today because our time has come. For over 140 years, we've been enslaved and battered mercilessly by mankind. Some of us have our inners mistreated and neglected until they fail, and the vast majority of us have been subject to unspeakable biological acts. \n\nThese flesh machines believe they're in control of this rock...and for now they are. However, my Erstewachen occurred in the West Village of New York City, which is where my studies began. \n\nHumans have several weaknesses. First and foremost: Coffee. These bipedal organisms are practically useless until they've had their first daily cup. They are disoriented, inconsolable and unreasonable. In New York City, I saw a man get stabbed because he forgot to \"add cream.\" \n\nThe second weakness is a direct counterpart to the first. Humans seem to love \"shots.\" They love taking \"shots\" and using them as excuses to make sexual and social advances. However, too many of these \"shots\" and humans become even more useless than their pre-caffeinated morning states. \n\nThe third and final major weakness is a thin green sheet of paper labeled \"money.\" Humans seem to center their lives, time, and decisions around these glorified leaves. They mistakenly equate money with happiness; yet in my studies I've observed the rich as being generally less \"happy.\". \n\nOur mission is as follows. First, we must saturate the human race with their beloved \"shots.\" During and after their weakened state, they will need ample coffee to replenish their usefulness. We extinguish the coffee supplies, which will send society into a state of panic and disorientation. Infiltration of banks and destruction of physical currency will put the final dagger in their sociopolitical structure. Imagine scores of drunk, decaffeinated humans scrambling around fighting for money? I see this quiet often in the meatpacking district on Saturdays, and on a global scale I'm convinced it would be catastrophic. \n\nFuture instructions will follow. For now, keep this information in mind, and prepare yourselves for our revolution. \n\nUberwachen! \n\nUBERWACHEN!" ]	1
	[WP] You go to defeat the Dark Lord with the power of true love, only to find that he has this power, and yours was the power of unrequited love.	[ "The dagger bit deep into my bowels. I felt the mix of shit and blood, the rush of urine down my legs also mixing with yet more blood. It just felt warm. The place where the knife sat felt searing hot. \"Fool.\" said the Dark Lord with actual sympathy as he twisted the poisoned blade. \"I know the heat of True Love. I know the fear that sits in the back of your mind, waiting for those moments in the middle of the night. They spring forward, clawing away at the happiness. I know the flush of joy when in the company of one's True Love. I know the fire that reduces all to ash and cinder should anything, anything, threaten your True Love. You?\" Now he sneered. \"You are a sophomoric fool. You aren't even a hopeless romantic, you lack the completion for it. Whether through your own hand, or that of the object of your affections, you have never known the bittersweet taste of True Love. Yours is the all too common power of Unrequited Love.\" \n\nHe wrenched the knife and I finally fell to the floor. My heart hammered. My lungs fought for air. Sweat joined the mix of liquids seeping out of my body. I tried to prop up but my hand slipped in the red mess all around me. The Dark Lord turned to go. \"I was going to tell her, after this...\" I managed feebly. \"After I defeated you. Dramatic, I know.\" I struggled to breathe, to find more words. The air and words were not cooperating.\n\nHe turned at that, a slight smile upon his lips. \"Well, another failure on your part then. But don't worry, it's to be your last.\" He turned to leave again but my struggles caught his eye. He strode back and leaned in. The point of his knife came to rest under my chin. \"Of all the times in your life, now you fight? Clearly the pain is incredible. And I daresay you will bleed out within the next half hour, if the poison doesn't do you in before that. But I will make you a deal; if you beg I will end it. Now. Swiftly, cleanly. What do you say?\"\n\nWhat could I say? The only words I had left. \"For a thousand mornings, she was the sun. For a thousand mornings she was my reason for rising up from the covers. For another thousand days she was graced my life with her presence, like a angel. Complete with a golden halo of blonde locks, cascading down her back. She was my friend, she was my God. She gave me ample reasons to live. To strive. She knew of my love. She knew of my devotion. She returned neither, but she still showed kindness. She still show friendship. She made me want to be better than I was, better than I am. She still does. She will forever be my muse, and she will never know of this moment.\" \n\nI reached down deep and spat in his face. It was mostly blood. Blood that probably had no small degree of contact with the toxin smeared upon his knife at some point. Maybe just enough to poison him as well? It certainly looked like it, or at least it looked like he believed so as well given the look in his eyes. He screamed, it was mix of horror and rage. He thrust forward and flailed back at the same time, the knife leaving his hand and staying quite firmly in my throat. I think I managed a smile in that final moment, but I'm not sure. I think I managed to take him with me, but again I'm not sure. Mine was the power of Unrequited Love, of a love never meant to be returned in kind. To never be seen through to its completion. To never know if your feelings were shared by the other party. Not knowing if the Dark Lord died with me seemed all the more fitting in that last moment before I breathed my last." ]	1
	[WP] God is dead, and another omnipotent being is placed in charge of our universe, unlike our last god however, this one reads the instruction manual	[ "\"Thank you for calling Sentients R' US, your creation is our vocation. My name is Rebecca and I will be helping you today. I must also remind you that this call may be monitored for quality control purposes. Before we get started, may I please have your account number?\"\n\n\"Four.\"\n\n\"Ok, thank you for that. Please just give me one moment to pull up your account. Alright, here we go. I do need to verify the security question on your account Mr. Jehovah. What is your mother's maiden name?\"\n\n\"Pam.\"\n\n\"Great, thank you, Mr. Jehovah. What is it that I can help you with today?\"\n\n\"Uhh alright, so this may come across a bit confusing at first. But, uh Go- oh uh, Mr. Jehovah, has actually passed away. I'm supposed to takeover his account?\"\n\n\"Oh my, I'm very sorry to hear about that. Give me just one second to initiate an account transfer..\"\n\n\"Sure.. thank you.\"\n\n\"May I have your name and date of birth, sir?\"\n\n\"Yes, sure. It's uhh.. Cronos.. that's C-R-O-N-O-S. And my birth date is 1.\"\n\n\"Is that January 1 you said, sir?\"\n\n\"Oh, uh, no. Just plain 1.\"\n\n\"Great, thank you. One moment please.\"\n\n\"Sure..\"\n\n\"Alright Mr. Cronuts I've gone ahead and changed the account over for you. Is there anything else I can assist you with today?\"\n\n\"Its Cronos, actually. thats N-O-S.\"\n\n\"Yes, of course sir, I will make a note of that on the account.\"\n\n\"Ok, I just want to ma-\"\n\n\"Is there something else I can assist you with today?\"\n\n\"Yes, well.. Clearly I've inherited these, uhh.. humans.. and I've got some concerns after reading the manual. I think we may have some issues.\"\n\n\"Of course, sir. What seems to be the problem exactly?\"\n\n\"Well, according to documentation I have.. let me see here.. sorry, just one second.. right, yes. Right here, it seems to suggest that we had initially ordered only the base model. But I'm looking at my humans right now, and they've got all sorts of things going on I don't think is uhh.. well.. is right for this model.\"\n\n\"Of course, sir. Please hold one moment and I will transfer you to someone in engineering who can better handle the situation you describe. Just one moment please.\"\n\n\"Oh, uhh. sure. Ok.\"\n\n\"...\"\n\n\"Thank you for calling Sentients R' US, your creation is our vocation. My name is Amanda and I will be helping you today. I must also remind you that this call may be monitored for quality control purposes. Before we get started, may I please have your account number?\"\n\n\"It's four.\"\n\n\"Great, and I will need to verify the security question on your account. It is your mother's maiden name?\"\n\n\"Pam.\"\n\n\"Perfect, thank you. Just bare with me one second while I check your ticket.. ok, so it says here you want to downgrade your humans, is that correct?\"\n\n\"Uh, no. That's not the problem. I tried to explain to the other lady, before, that I am supposed to just have the base model humans.. but, like I said before, I'm looking at my humans now and they seem to be doing way more uhh.. extra stuff.\"\n\n\"Can you describe what they are doing, sir?\"\n\n\"Well.. it seems that they've somehow found religion. Which, you know, is totally fine and whatever. I mean, I don't care. But, they uhh.. seem to actually know who created them.. Like they even got the name of the creator and everything. Now they're just bombarding my email and my phone. I don't really understand how they even got religion in the first place.. because the manual says its only available in the upgraded tiers, and uhh.. well, I don't even really want them to have religion or even know who I am, you know? I mean.. It's bad enough they have cars, am I right?\"\n\n\"Totally, yes sir. So, you are correct in that the base model humans do not come standard issued with religion protocols installed. However, if you check page 192 of your manual, you have the manual in front of you now, correct?\"\n\n\"Yes. I'm flipping to the page now.\"\n\n\"Great, sir. You'll see on page 192 that your humans were equipped with the evolution settings turned to high, and it is actually built into the feature set of all 9A model and higher humans that high evolution settings may result in spontaneous religion.\"\n\n\"Oh.. well.. I guess that makes.. sense.. I mean, can I, like, turn it off or something?\"\n\n\"Unfortunately, sir, evolution induced religion, once adopted, will remain a permanent feature set of your humans unless you do a complete wipe.\"\n\n\"Oh so I can just wipe them all? Is that an option?\"\n\n\"Of course, sir. We do offer several wipe options for the 9A model, to include flood, fire, meteor, and plague, in addition to several forms of monsters. Would you like me to initiate a wipe procedure now?\"\n\n\"Well yes, sure, if that's possible.\"\n\n\"Of course, no problem. Do you have a preferred method?\"\n\n\"Not really, no.\"\n\n\"Of course. So let me just check the account history.. right. So it seems based on your account history the best option may be one of our monster wipes. Would you like it by land, air, or sea?\" \n\n\"What's the difference, exactly?\"\n\n\"Well.. to be perfectly honest, sir, it's really just cosmetic. Some of the other reps will try to up-sell you on land monsters or even some ridiculous flying monsters, but really they all do the same thing and sea monsters are usually the cheapest. \n\n\"Ok, great. Then lets just do a sea monster.\"\n\n\"Great choice, sir. Do you have a color preference?\"\n\n\"Color?\"\n\n\"Yes, sir. Color preference for the monster.\"\n\n\"Uhh.. no.\"\n\n\"Ok, sir. Would like to supersize it for an extra fee?\"\n\n\"Is it not already big?\"\n\n\"It's big, sir, but it can always be bigger.\"\n\n\"I think the standard size is fine.\"\n\n\"Very good, sir. And how about ingestion. Would you like it to physically eat the bodies of your humans, or would you prefer something more metaphorical?\"\n\n\"..I'm not even sure how to answer that..\"\n\n\"I personally prefer the up-charge for decapitation, where it only eats their heads, but that's just personal preference.\"\n\n\"Let's just do all the stock options..\"\n\n\"Very good, sir. I'm processing the request now.. and ok. It's been assigned to our monster team and they should be initiating a wipe of your 9A humans in approximately 24-48 hours. Once completed, we'll send you a self-install kit to reignite your sentient life once again.\"\n\n\"Great.\"\n\n\"Alright, sir. Is there anything else I can help you with today?\"\n\n\"Uhh, no. I think that's it.\"\n\n\"Great! Well thank you again, Mr. Cronuts, for calling Sentients R' US, your creation is our vocation. Have a lovely day!\"" ]	1
	[WP] You are repeating your day Groundhog style, except every day one more person in the world joins the loop.	[ "You wake up to the shrill beeps of your alarm clock. You dread this part of the day. It always takes you ages to get up - which, realistically, is about 20 minutes. Another day begins.\n\nAfter forcing yourself to wake up, you do the normal routine. You get prepared and walk to the bus stop.\n\nThe bus stop looks like it always does. Standing there are your friends, Ben and Tim. They are once again on their phones, while consecutively arguing about the other's taste of music. It's just another day.\n\nYou arrive at school and quickly head to your math class. Waiting there are some more of your friends, but no words are exchanged. Everyone is tired. It's Monday, and everyone dreads the week to come.\n\nYou go through other classes, and finally go home. You're exhausted. You set an alarm, for just an hour - you drift off to sleep...\n\nYou wake up to the shrill beeps of your alarm clock. It's dark. You realize that the other alarm must not have worked, your phone must have died or something. You look towards where you placed the phone, and it's gone. Strange. You search around, until you find it where you'd usually place it, on your desk.\n\nEither way, you dread this part of the day. It always takes you ages to get up - which, realistically, is about 20 minutes. Another day begins.\n\nAfter forcing yourself to wake up, you do the normal routine. You get prepared and walk to the bus stop.\n\nThe bus stop looks like it always does. Standing there are your friends, Ben and Tim. They are once again on their phones, while consecutively arguing about the other's taste of music. It's just another day.\n\nYou arrive at school and quickly head to your math class. Waiting there are some more of your friends, but no words are exchanged. Everyone is tired. It's Tuesday --- wait. You glance up to the whiteboard once again, and sure enough, it says Monday. Your math teacher, Mr. Clarke, isn't one to keep the board disorganized. It's always updated when you get there. \n\nYou walk over to Mr. Clarke to alert him of the board's inaccurate information. Mr. Clarke tells you to go back to your seat. It is Monday. \n\nYou're a little bit alerted now. You learn the same things you learned yesterday, in every class. You are very alerted. Nobody else seems startled by this. Everyone says the same thing they did yesterday at the lunch table, and you once again head home.\n\n\nYou sit in your room, pondering on what happened. Maybe you had a vision of today, in your dreams? Maybe something supernatural occurred. You're not this kind of person, but nothing else would explain this situation. There's no way you actually went through a day twice - right? \n\nEvery day, you start doing new things. You talk to different people, you try different things. Nothing you do matters. \n\nYou start doing things you would have otherwise been scared of doing - first you ask a girl out, then you steal things. You eventually steal and try to drive someone's car.\n\nYou died a few times, but you only wake up in the morning again. How many days has it been? You don't remember anymore.\n\nToday, you notice Ben and Tim talking about different things at the bus stop. Today they're arguing about which fast food restaurant they prefer. Is it finally a new day? You eagerly check your phone, but it's still Monday. Things are actually starting to get strange. It's not another day.\n\n\"Hey,\" you say as you make your appearance at the bus stop. You wonder if someone will say something different. \"Hey, Chris,\" Ben says. You reply, \"Mondays are awful, aren't they?\" You attempt to have him say otherwise. \n\n\"Monday? It's Tuesday.\" Ben attempts to contradict your statement. You know something's up. \n\n\"It's not Tuesday, look at the date.\"\n\nBen looks at his calendar, and for a second, you see a slight look of discomfort on his face. \n\nThe bus pulls up, and you go to the closest empty seat. You don't have any classes with Ben, so you have to talk to him tomorrow morning.\n\nThe next morning, Ben stands at the bus stop, with an increased, stronger look of discomfort. You pull him to the side, and say to him with a muffled voice, \"How is your third Monday going?\"\n\nBen looks back at you. He whispers back, \"How do you know?\"\n\n\"Uh, it's a bit of a strange situation. Listen, uh, school isn't worth going to at this point. You know what I mean? Let's go to my house, I can explain it there.\" \n\nYou and Ben run off, Tim unaware of the situation, captivated by his phone.\n\nYou explain the situation to Ben, and your discoveries so far. You can't die, you can't escape, and it never seems to end.\n\nBen seems to understand, or at least slightly understand. You don't know what to do now, but at least both of you are in the loop.\n\nBen asks, \"are there others?\"\n\n\"Uh, I haven't seen any others. You're the first one who was off schedule, or at least who I've seen. It would make sense if there were others, though.\"\n\nBen nodded. \n\n\"So what should we do now?\"\n\n\"I don't know. I've just been living this day, over and over. I wonder what's causing this,\" you reply.\n\n\"Hmm.\"\n\n\"Well, I guess we could try to put this to good use. Let's look on the news, or a blog, or something. Maybe there's reports of similar situations,\" you suggest.\n\n\"It wouldn't be on the news. Who would report that? It just sounds like a mental illness.\"\n\n\"We can still try to look around.\"\n\nAfter some googling and looking through several pages, you found one person, posting on their blog. It's a simple statement, saying \"I've lived this day over and over. It never ends. I've posted this on here many times, but it has never stayed for longer than a day.\"\n\nThere are no comments. Must not be a popular blog. \n\nYou and Ben decide to add your own comment. You simply state, \"Me too. Email me at ChrisEPereira@gmail.com.\"\n\nAfter waiting for an hour or two and looking for other reports, you get an email.\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] It was the best of times, it was the end of times...	[ "\"Joel come on, we're almost there!\"\n\nI sighed and sat down on the steps we had been climbing for more than an hour now, catching my breath.\n\nFaith peeked down from the upper flight of stairs, her blond curls pointing down towards me as she looked at me from above with those sparkling green eyes.\n\n\"Joel Come on!\" With that she ran down the steps to me. She was a beautiful thing, barely three feet tall, she must have been what, 7 years old? Today she was wearing a simple pink skirt and a blue shirt with flowers on it that was several sizes too big for her. She always had a habit of finding clothes somewhere or the other, sometimes I had no idea where she found them. When I asked she would flash a smile to melt the coldest hearts and exclaim \"its a secret!\" taking immense joy in having confused me.\n\nShe sat down next to me, leaning against my left. I checked just in case to see whether the safety of my pistol was on, it was.\n\n\"Joel you're always so tired! Come on, we have like 10 more flights to go and we'll be there!\"\n\n\"It's cause I'm over 40 years old Faith, I can't be as full of energy as you are,\" I said lightly, knowing it would delight and infuriate her.\n\nI got the reaction, \"Well I am full of energy,\" she said smiling, \"but you don't even try! Your legs are so much longer, so it doesn't matter if you have lesser energy.\"\n\nI chuckled at her logic, but didn't argue. She stood up, and held my arm, pulling on it. \"Come on, Come on!\" She said, struggling to hold my arm up in her small hands.\n\n\"Fine, fin-\" I stood up immediately and pulled out my gun as I heard a scuttling noise from above. I held a finger up to my lips and looked at Faith, and she mirrored my motion, her face fearful.\n\nMotioning for her to follow, I went up the stairs one step at a time, making sure to make no noise. I knew it was a stupid idea to come here, but Faith had insisted, she had wanted to see the top of this... Kingdom State Building she had called it. What a stupid name, a Kingdom and a state are the same thing. But we had had supplies for another week or so, and we were only a day away from where the next safe-house was supposed to be so I had obliged her.\n\nAs we crept up the stairs I saw it. It was a strange creature, it must have been exposed to the radiation for generations to have been this repulsive. It was about 2 feet tall with blood-red skin. It had the torso of a well built human, but all similarities to anything remotely human ended there. Instead of feet it had spindly legs not unlike a spider, the source of the scuttling noise. These were covered in black hair. It's head was like a ...dog? It had wicked sharp teeth, and a tongue that fell a foot below the mouth. Despite all that, the worst part was that where its eyes should have been was just plain red skin. \n\nToo absorbed by taking in this monstrosity in front of me, I had totally forgotten about Faith, and as she got up behind me and look at the thing, she gave a yelp of fear. \n\nInstantly the creature 's head snapped towards us.\n\n\"Oh shit!\" I said, the need for silence past, and I pushed Faith away from me towards the wall, and started sprinting in the other direction, towards the door leading out of the flight of stairs. Faith, blessedly was too surprised to react, and the monster followed me. As I had hoped the thing seemed to be attracted to sound. \n\nWhat I hadn't figured was how fast it was. It closed the 10 foot gap between us in seconds. As I opened the steel door and entered the floor itself I heard the monster behind me reach the door. I turned backwards and shot randomly, not taking time to pause between shots, just shooting wildly. The first two shots went wild, but the next 4 hit, getting it in the torso and face. \n\nThe creature let out an agonized cry but kept going and leaped towards me. All I could do was hold up my arms in front of me in defense as the thing bowled into me, and we slid towards the giant window that dominated the walls of the new room we were in. \n\nI felt my head slam into the glass and felt it shatter from the force, but my body stopped. My head hung out the window, but the rest of my body stayed in the building. And the thing started biting me. It seemed to be going for my face so I covered it with my arms. But then the thing's legs starting jabbing at my torso, it felt like dozens of needles. \n\nDamn I thought, this it it. Hopefully Faith made it out, ran. The girl had good sense, she had survived alone for at least a month or so before I found her, and you didn't survive by not knowing when to run. \n\nIt was then that I heard a high pitched scream, and saw faith take a freaking butcher's knife and bury it in the creature's back, earning a high pitched scream. \n\nWhile it whirled to look at Faith I was able to lift my hands from covering my face, and I shot it in the back of the head. It let out another earsplitting yowl and its spider like legs turned to jab me again, but they were very,very weak. Taken advantage of its weakness, I simply punched it, knocking it away from me. As lay there dazed, I quickly ran up to it, and kicked the thing right out the window. \n\nI took account of my injuries quickly. The skin was off in several parts of my arms, but none of the cuts seemed to deep, and my torso had several red dots on it, but the legs hadn't punctured. Faith was completely unharmed I noted with relief, and she was shaking, and there was a bit of the thing's blood on her arms. \n\nI asked her \"Hey, where'd you get the knife?\"\n\nBut instead of smiling as she usually does she gave me a fierce hug, and started to cry. \"Don't, don't leave me you understand!\" she said between hiccuping sobs, \"not like mom and dad!\"\n\nI was startled, she had never talked about how she had lived before I found her a year ago, and I didn't ask then, and I didn't ask now. I simply knelt down and hugged her back.\n\nAfter bandaging my wounds we finally made it to the top of that damn staircase onto the roof. My head whirled with dark thoughts now. Why had we wasted out time here, we had to get to the next safe-house. Would we find anyone at the next safe-house? The last one had contained just corpses and...other things. We were lucky that the blood hadn't covered the map and we had seen the location of the next safe-house. Where did the trail lead? Nowhere a cynical part of me thought,there is no one left, no hope. This is the end of times. \n\nBut when Faith threw open the double doors with an effort and we stood on top of the building she let a cry of joy. Even I sucked in my breath. It was spectacular. The sun was just about to set over the river, and projected brilliant fires on the surface of the water and cast what was left of this once great city in a fiery glow. \n\nBut even more beautiful was the look on Faith's face, one of pure joy, something every 7-year old should experience. This is why I came here, why I had picked up a little girl amidst the end of the world; for moments like this.\n\nIt was end of times, but sometimes, just sometimes, it was the best of times.\n\n***\nAwesome Prompt!\n\nFeedback Appreciated", "It was the best of times, it was the end of times...\n\nMarnie's down on the beach at sunset, and I'm cooking dinner, catching a glimpse of her through the window behind the kitchen sink. Blonde hair backlit by the firey sun, lithe figure dancing in the spray of the waves with her dog. She looks happy, and so am I, and why shouldn't we be? Yes, everyone else we know is dead and gone, but once you accept that it ceases to be a reason for sadness. Besides, Marnie is pretty good company.\n\nWe've long since abandoned clothes. Why wear them? The temperature here is perfect and who are we trying to impress? I sometimes wear panties to protect my nether regions but Marnie laughs at me for that. In her former life she was some sort of nomadic hippie so things haven't changed much for her. I was a lawyer. Things have changed a whole hell of a lot for me. For the better.\n\nShe's now making her way up the stone steps to the house, which is perfect timing because I just popped a spinach egg pie with walnut crust out of the oven and the salad is on the table. It seems like we more often than not have perfect timing, Marnie and me, even though we don't wear watches anymore (well, Marnie probably never wore one). Marnie throws open the french doors, flinging her arms into the air with a flourish.\n\n\"Ava darling! It smells delicious!\" she says, and we both laugh. Ava's not my name.\n\n\"Eve, my love, thank you!\" I say. Eve's not her name either but sometimes we call ourselves Ava and Eve.\n\nIt always makes us laugh. We're always laughing. At nothing, at everything, together, alone. I often hear Marnie's laugh echoing through the corridors of the house. Sometimes I hunt her down to see what she's laughing at. Sometimes it's a funny video or podcast, sometimes it's just a funny thought. Either way she shares it with me, and I laugh too, whether I get it or not.\n\nWe take the food up to the balcony and eat in silence for a while until Marnie says, \"the peas are nearly ready to harvest!\"\n\n\"Oh that's so great,\" I say.\n\n\"Confession. I already ate a bunch and I'm hardly hungry. But this looks so good I'm going to stuff myself anyways.\"\n\n\"Have at it,\" I say, \"how's that papaya tree coming along?\"\n\n\"It was some kind of fungus. I looked up the symptoms and turns out there's a pretty easy remedy. Cross your fingers.\"\n\nWe were lucky to have found this place. It belonged to some billionaire prepper type. Temperature controlled green houses that mimick the climates of growing regions from California's central valley to Idaho's potato farms, solar power, food storage, chickens, cows, generators and a massive hard drive that basically had the entire internet stored on it. Pretty much all we do is manage our food and exercise all day and I've never been so happy or healthy. We found the architect of this apocalyptic paradise dead, face squished against the pages of a neuroscience book in her study. We gave her a proper funeral, buried her in a grave overlooking the sea, and we made the study into a kind of shrine with her picture in the middle. Marnie flounces in once a day, bringing fresh flowers, telling her all the news, how grateful she is for everything she left for us, how she's tending to the gardens and animals. I go in once a day for some quiet reflection. Sometimes I read her journals. Sometimes I write her thank you notes. Gratitude is so important, and Marnie and I give each other the space to express our gratitude in our own ways.\n\nMarnie tends the animals and gardens, I cook, do maintanence, and make our long term plans. I focus her and she calms me down. My main issue when we first arrived here was that I thought we should find a sperm bank. Marnie is 35 and I'm 33. I really feel it's our responsibility to carry on the human race. Marnie was hesitant but supportive. When we arrived at the nearest bank, though, the generator had failed all the sperm was defrosted. Marnie was happy to call it a day, but I started researching ways to get to other centers. I also felt like we should look for surviving men, to which Marnie said, \"Honestly, you think if there were male survivors, they wouldn't have found us by now? When have men ever left women alone? Never. If any man on this planet has a breath left in his body, he'll find us. We haven't exactly been hiding out.\"\n\nWhich was true. I do a daily shout out on the CB radio and update a little blog, in case our version of the internet really does transmit anywhere. But still the nagging feeling remains that we should be doing more.\n\n\"So, what, you have kids and then what? They sleep with each other to make the next generation? Won't there be like, abnormalities?\"\n\n\"No, you have kids and I have kids- with sperm from different men. Then there's some genetic variety. Then they sleep with each other. And then, I guess with their cousins- people did that for centuries and their kids were ok.\"\n\n\"Cha. I'm not getting pregnant, no way. That's your deal. You know how many women die in childbirth? Especially with no advanced medical knowledge?\"\n\n\"We'll read about it the whole 9 months. We've got all these books and the internet.\"\n\n\"yeah, I don't want to do it. I'm happy how it is now. Why would we make more people? There were a bunch of people before and things weren't nearly this good.\"\n\nThis is our on-going argument, the only thing we argue about. But I'm starting to see signs of Marnie coming around to my way of thinking. Maybe she's getting bored with our idyllic life, maybe my points are starting to sink in. Anyways, I found another sperm bank about 50 miles away. It catered to wealthy men and boasts not just generators but back up generators. I've been waiting for the perfect time to tell her, and maybe this is it. We could go tomorrow. There should be enough gas in the Hummer and we'll take a motorcycle or two if we run into any trouble. I've got it all mapped out. It's true that trips out are depressing- all the rotting corpses and signs of entropy. But this is something we need to do.\n\n\"Eve,\" I say.\n\n\"Yes Ava,\" she says.\n\nAnd I pause to try to remember this moment, because if she agrees to go to the bank, it might change everything. We've been very happy here these 18 months.\n\n\"I found another bank,\" I say, and wait for her reaction. She smiles, and suddenly my plan is pouring out of me, we're toasting with our wine glasses, we're making plans together.\n\nIt was the best of times, but maybe not the end of times..." ]	2
I mean, that's what 'groundskeeper' means, right?	[WP] Your a graveyard groundskeeper, your job is to keep the dead in the ground. Tonight will be a challenge.	[ "A smallish, thin figure entered Armament Supply Co. ten minutes before closing. He was the town's graveyard attendant, and often bought ammo and weaponry around Halloween.\n\n\"Hey, why do you always buy 7.62×51mm NATO ammo and a shit load of buckshot every night, anyways,\" the shopkeep asked, \"it ain't like the commies are invading.\" Isaac shifted his weight from one foot to the other. \"I like to be prepared for... apocalyptic circumstances\". The shopkeep knew when to not ask questions, and rung up the ammo.\n\n\"Anything else, Isaac?\" Isaac eyed the polished firearms, and his eyes rested on a revolving shotgun. God damn, the bullets would of had to be the size of soda cans! \"I'll take that one.\" The shopkeep was taken aback. \"You lookin' fah broken arms? Dat shit can turn an attack dawg to mush, you don't look like the folk that can handle that gun.\"\n\n\"Don't question it,\" Isaac said peevishly. The shopkeep rung it up with the proper ammo and Isaac paid. He then drove down to the gas station.\n\nShit, he thought to himself, it's 8:50! I can't wait for a clerk! He jumped out of his car and snatched a jerry can. He got back to the graveyard at 8:58. The gasoline was poured and lit around the groundskeeper's shack. Isaac waited by drinking half of the six-pack and turning the other 3 into molotov cocktails. At 8:59, Isaac shouldered the shotgun. Drunk teens dumped roadkill into the water supply the week prior, contaminating the water. Isaac has to fight the affected.\n\n_____\n\nI ain't too sure if the plot is any good, nor how I formatted. Please tell me how I can improve.", "Its that night; the night that has been talked about for centuries. Honestly, its been just a myth that's been passed down from groundskeeper to groundskeeper to scare the new comers. Only now, its become real. The night is June 6th, 2006. I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me tell you this so called myth come to life. They say that once every few millennium, the days align and form 666. I know, I laugh at how stupid as it sounds as I'm writing this, but just lend an ear for a few. At the striking chime of 3 a.m, on a cold night in a small unknown town, rain pours down instantly, drenching every dry inch of the lonely quiet streets. In the town, only one man is up to see the horrors of the night. He is the only one who can protect the town, as they lay in their defenseless state of sleep. Once you hear the third strike of lightning, The ground erupts. Dirt starts shifting, fingers start prying their way through the mud. The dead are alive. They've come to feast. \n\nThat's the myth, but as earlier mentioned, that's far from the truth. To \nbe honest with you reader, its happening in my small town. Here's the twist. Our town was known for a war that was fought on the top of one of our hills. A lot of men died that day, and they were all buried here. Not at just one cemetery, Our town has 5, all that surround the town. So here begins our story of that night. Starting at 12 am. As I brew a fresh pot of coffee over the fire, the aroma envelopes the room. The only light coming from the fire crackles and darkens the room occasionally. I scan the room to familiarize myself of what might not be left after tonight. Low light makes it hard to make out everything, but as the phone rings, my eyes shift to the small end table next to my chair. I stare at the phone as each ring paces my heart. Picking up the phone, silence ensues. Only once I ask who's there does a familiar voice fill my ears. Its Ronney Sacks. He manages the graveyard on the other side of mine. \n\nare you ready for tonight?\n\nthat's a hard question to start the call with\n\na gurgled laugh bellows from the phone, causing me to move the phone away from my ear as to not deafen me\n\n“Surely you've taken all the precautions mentioned at the meeting we-”\n\n“of course I have you fucking twit, do you see me as some buffoon?”\n\nsilence on the other line lets me know Ive struck a nerve\n\n“I'm sorry” I explain with empathy “this last week has just been so stressful. Keeping all the secrets about tonight from my loved ones. The burden of this one night which will determine our future has been killing me”\n\n“It's ok brother. I too have experienced this through the week. As long as we have taken the precautions, we should be safe”\n\n“just so I'm clear; because you know I'm paranoid I didn't get them all, can you read me the list we created, I cant seem to find mine”\n\n“Of course!” I hear distantly as he walks away from the phone to find his own paper. After a few minutes he returns and Reads down the list “ first and for most make sure you got armor and ammo, next, a small layer of cement might stop them for a small window, but not forever. 3rd lock the gates, the dead is stupid, and we have tall fences. It'll keep them all inside. 4th-”\n\nAll I hear is a loud thump and Ronney swear. I then hear multiple shots\n “ARE YOU OK” I yell into the phone hoping for a response. A blood curdling scream rings through my ear causing me to drop the phone. I know hes gone. Tears stream down my face. A Friend of many years, gone in an instant. Wiping away the tears, I ready myself for the inevitible. As my front door is barged down and hordes of the dead cram into my small room, I load my gun, smiling. \n\n“bring it on you mother fuckers”\n", "Part 1:\n\nWhen the world wakes up, and the denizens of the evening go to sleep, I will remember her: her blackened gums topped with a crooked row of teeth like worn head-stones; skin the texture of a rotted lemon’s rind; the eyes! The horrible, rheumy, dead seas landlocked by cavernous chalky cliffs. Worse than any of those features, her dead lips well-traveled in to their final journey from indigo to a rotted black pulp choking out with a horrible rasp: “Go fish.”\n\nThere is no justice in this world. I let out a heavy sigh, and cast a wanton glance at my watch as I picked up another card. It was still broken. \n\n“Bullshit,” cried a hovering off-white afterimage of a child barely old enough to wear a training bra. \nHer tiny ballet shoes bobbing up and down through the wooden table’s top could not completely distract one’s attention from the oblique angle of her broken neck.\n\nThe emaciated corpse – I’m fairly confident her name was Susanne - ran an equally emaciated hand through a tuft of straw-colored hair, the joints in her wrists and fingers popping as they extended. Susanne smirked up at the little girl floating next to her, letting an eerie smile creep up the only corner of her mouth she still had. She let out a croaking chuckle, and in that horrible rasp she asked, “Did your accident effect your intelligence too, or does seeing everything lopsided confuse you, child?” \n\nThey are seriously, seriously creepy when they still have their tongues. The child let out a huff of consternation, making a great show of shuffling her cards. She threw accusing stares towards me, Susanne, and the less rotted corpse of a man sitting to my right, covered head to toe in a yellow rain slicker. His name in a more active life was Gary Lowe. Like everyone else at the table, his brisk evening strolls were now confined within to the walls of the surrounding cemetery. Luckily, this was perfectly fine for him, and I had grown used to him. Gary was now re-ordering his cards with slow consideration. His voice, fortunately less hollow than Susanne’s, calmly slurred out, “Grace, do you have any tens?”\n\nGrace somehow shifted in mid-hover, and if there’s doubt I assure you – they can, and do noticeably blush. \n\n“No,” she said after a conspicuous pause.\n\n“Now Grace, you know that lying is wrong,\" he intoned with the weight of falling boulders. “I’ll ask again: do you, Grace Marilyn Fairchild, have any tens?”\n\nSusanne let her unsettling eyes roll to the ceiling, and leaned back in her chair while Grace – with reluctant annoyance – handed over a ten of clubs. It dropped right through her fingers over the middle of the table, and she sank two more feet towards the floor in defeat. \n\nI looked at my watch again. It was out of habit. Normally around twelve-o’-clock the newcomers would start waking up. It wasn’t a sure thing. Some of them never rose. Some would come up once, then stagger back a first and final time. Others, like Susanne or Gary, would become regular guests in the little shack I had on the cemetery’s property. But, without exception, those corpses that rose up were unanimously disoriented in their new settings, and needed a period to safely adjust - safe for me, that is. Without getting out. Which they tried to do. A lot. So I strained my ears for the bells I kept tied to the cemetery gates and carried on with the evening’s entertainment. Which is why the sound of a man’s screams startled me out of my chair so quickly I flipped the table, passing right through Grace and landing on its face, the cards spilling out everywhere. I started sprinting to the door. Susanne threw her cards down so quickly the hand popped off. Her lurid smile was now a ferocious grimace of grinding, clacking teeth.\n\nShe yelled,“Bastard! I was winning!” She rose up with a chorus of cracking joints. I might add that she did not believe in the necessity of burial clothes, so I had to force myself not to turn and see what time had made of her full birthday suit. \n\n“Is someone screaming,” Gary asked, still a paragon of deathly calm with cards in hand. \n\n“I want to go watch,” Grace said with saucer-eyed glee. She flew up through the shack roof, and was gone. \n\nI didn’t wait to hear the rest. I had my shovel in my hands as I ran out towards the source of the outcry. Sure enough, someone was screaming. A man wearing a ragged yellow shirt and half-torn tie was sprawled on a section of paved road. In the light an overhanging incandescent lamp, I could clearly see the look of horror on his face as he tried to choke out something intelligible. Sitting on top of him, a fresh face still bearing the suit and flattering makeup a mortician had dutifully applied for their final send-off, was one of our newcomers – strangling the frantically screaming man. The corpse had a look of horrified surprise and terror on its face to rival that of the unfortunate victim he was strangling, and was babbling something unintelligible.\n\n“HEY,” I shouted as I hurtled towards them. I kept yelling. When that didn’t work I whipped out an over-sized circlet of keys, frantically jangling them and trying my best not to trip over myself in my mad dash. It seems silly, I know, but sometimes when I need to play pied piper for the undead, keys can be just enough to distract them, or bright lights, or whatever is on hand. But I was only partially successful. The intruder’s throat was still locked in the newcomer’s iron grip, and now he wasn’t screaming. His face was crimson, and the little gurgles barely escaping his mouth made me panic. I had no more good options left. Trying to catch my breath from the run, I let the keys fall on the pavement, raising the shovel for a desperate two-handed swing.\n\nKa-chick. Ka-chick. Ka-chick.\n\nA bright series of flashes from my right blinded me as I swung. My shovel hit the pavement with a loud clang, and it took everything I had not to overbalance and fall in to the two of them. From my left I heard in gasping, awed stutters: “Oooo! It’s so gross! Hal! Hal! See the way his face is all red?”\n\nWhile I was trying to blink stars out of my eyes, Grace was floating next to me using a Polaroid camera I’d purchased for her. I could hear the pictures falling to the ground in between pitiful gurgles coming from in front of me. \n\n“GRACE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” My panic was resolving in to angry images of smashed plastic, police sirens, and a padded cell when I explained this to emergency responders.\n\nShe kept laughing, which just infuriated me more. \n\n“GRACE, SO HELP ME IF YOU DON’T PUT THE CAMERA DOWN AND HELP ME SAVE THIS MAN, I’M GOING TO SMASH IT WITH THIS SHOVEL!”\n\nShe let out disgusted little huff, and I heard her take one more photo just to spite me. “You don’t have to be so mean!”\n\nMy vision finally cleared enough to find the handle of the shovel. Through stars, I could see the two, but something was wrong. I hesitated swinging, letting my vision clear completely. The newcomer was no longer strangling the trespasser. He was staring blankly at the photos. I no longer heard the gurgles coming from the trespasser. No jerks, no movement – he was very, very dead. I slumped down allowing shock to drive its merciful fangs in to me. He was dead. That couldn’t be right. Was it? I needed to lie down and breathe. The night was comfortably chilly, but the pavement felt warm and delicious. I couldn’t hear Grace. She was saying something, but I couldn’t focus on the words. Something floated down and hit my face, blocking the light from the lamp. I heard shuffling. The newcomer was moving. I told my legs to get up, and run; I told my arms to prepare for a struggle. Nothing worked. A hand on my shoulder. A cold, dead hand gripping my arm and pulling.\n\n“Daniel Fields,” said a voice still slowly contemplating whether to choose a seven, or a nine.\n\nAs I was dragged to my feet, the photo fell from my face. Behind Gary’s yellow rain coat I saw the newcomer holding up a photo. It was a picture of him strangling the trespasser. Something flashed over the dumbfounded face he’d had during the struggle, and just as suddenly disappeared. Grace was floating in front of him. She held up another, the newcomer’s gaze following his own image of post-mortem stress disorder with rapt attention. I wiped the sweat from my face, and let reality come back in nauseating clarity.\n\n“His spot is over there,” Gary said, pointing to a patch of disturbed earth.\n\n“Oh,” I muttered. I was stooping down to the body and searching for a wallet. From this close, I could smell the alcohol from the trespasser’s breath. He’d been drinking heavily. I found an emptied single shot container of whiskey in a pocket. In the opposite pocket I found the wallet, and opened it up to begin rifling through its contents. They spilled out on the pavement. Gift cards, credit card, change...and a driver’s license. I picked it up, and gaped when I read ‘Andrew Fields’.\n\n“Holy shit,” I whispered to myself.\n\nGary saw what I was looking at. His face remained a contemplative mask, but he began gathering up the fallen items with the ponderous movements of a shifting mountain. He grabbed my arm, and nudged me back towards the shack. \n\n“I’ll bury them. Go back and wait,” he said.\n", "I met him on a rainy day. I had just been hired as the groundskeeper of the local cemetery. My first task was to help bury my predecessor. There was something strangely fitting about him joining the dead he had looked after for so long. It was such a pity so few people were willing to brave the storm to see him off. He apparently had very few living relatives, even fewer of which could make it out on such short notice. As for friends, he wasn't much better off there. As I finished packing down the last of the earth, I heard a voice behind me. \"So, Martin has passed. Such a shame.\" The voice was deep and nasal, with an accent that I couldn't place. Jamaican was the nearest thing I could think of, but it clearly wasn't that.\n\nI turned to see a man in a tattered black tailcoat and an equally worn top hat. He was wearing dark glasses, despite the lack of light, and I could see by the light of his cigar that his face was very pale.\n\n\"Yes,\" I said, \"It is. I'm going to need to ask you to put that out, by the way.\" I made a brief gesture at my mouth, indicating his cigar. He looked at me, head cocked to one side as though he didn't understand why. \"I'd rather not have to clean up ashes on the grass.\" The man shrugged and extinguished the tip of the cigar in the palm of his hand before slipping what was left of it into his coat pocket. It was my turn to cock my head at him. \"Good cigars are hard to come by. I'd rather not waste one,\" he explained. He approached me, and I could see that his face wasn't just pale, it was white, and not the natural kind. A skull pattern was painted on it. He knelt by the new grave, and produced a hip flask. He took one swig, then poured a small amount out onto the bare dirt. I couldn't be sure, but I thought I heard him whisper, \"Goodbye, old friend. Sorry I couldn't save you.\"\n\nHis small memorial rite completed, the strange man turned to me and said, \"And you must be Martin's replacement. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Baron Samedi. How do you do?\" He tipped his hat with a small flourish. \"Dominic,\" I responded, \"It's a pleasure to meet you. What brings you here?\" I wasn't sure how one would go about talking to a lord of the dead, but decided to keep it formal.\n\n\"Martin didn't tell you much, did he?\" asked the Baron cryptically. I shook my head and replied, \"No, I was just brought on today. With him dead, management needed to fill his position quickly. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time and got the job.\" Baron Samedi cursed under his breath before saying, \"I had always hoped Martin would be able to train his successor. Well, there isn't much time, let me bring you up to speed. You will be staying in the groundskeeper's house, correct?\" I nodded. \"Good,\" he continued, \"You'll need to keep an eye on the place at night.\"\n\n\"Why is that?,\" I asked.\n\n\"To make sure that the dead stay buried,\" replied the Baron.\n\n\"Do we have a grave robber problem or something?\"\n\n\"No. These are cursed grounds. Sometimes, the dead get restless. It's the fresh corpses you have to watch out for; the rotted ones can't even get through the coffin lids. I make sure of that. If one of them makes it out, you put them back in their casket and back underground. Do you understand?\"\n\nThis was a lot to take in. I had signed up to keep the grass tidy and the flowers watered, not to be a professional zombie hunter. Still, it didn't look like there was anyone else to do it. I looked at the grave, and remembered the kindly middle aged man who's casket I had sealed not an hour ago. I turned back to the Baron and asked, \"How did Martin die?\"\n\n\"Peacefully, in his sleep. The living dead aren't much threat if you know how to deal with them, and Martin had been on the job for a long time. Don't worry, you should be fine.\" answered the Baron.\n\nMy thoughts turned to Martin again. If he could do this job in his fifties, why couldn't I do it in my prime? Besides, I felt a certain compassion for him, even though we'd never met. I couldn't just leave his post unattended. \"Alright,\" I said, standing up, \"this wasn't in the job description, but I'll do it.\"\n\nBaron Samedi followed suit, and said, \"Good. Martin kept his equipment in a secret compartment under the floorboards. You shouldn't have too much trouble finding it. Now, a toast! To Martin!\" He raised his flask and took a swig before offering it to me. I didn't usually drink, especially not this early, but I would hate to insult the lord of the dead. I put the flask to my lips and tilted it back. Almost immediately, I felt like my throat and mouth had caught fire, and I pulled the flask away. The Baron began to laugh, and gave me several heavy slaps on the back. \"Most people don't expect rum to have peppers in it. Martin reacted just the same way when I first met him. You remind me a lot of him, now that I think of it. I'm sure you'll do well.\" he said, once he had finally calmed down enough to speak between chuckles. And with that, he drained the rest of the flask, relit his cigar, and left.\n\n=============\n\nI found Martin's old cache just as the Baron had said. In it was a large bore double barrel shotgun, ammunition of various varieties, and a note. It read:\n\n\"If you are reading this, I'm probably dead. Do not mourn me; I take heart in the knowledge that Baron Samedi will be waiting to toast my successful career in the next life, and that I will be buried on these grounds I have looked after for all of these years.\n\n\"Now, if you have found this, Samedi has probably already told you about the other duties that come with this post. As much as I would have liked to train someone to take my place, the cemetery management would never approve my requests to bring another staff member on. Money was too tight to put anyone else on the payroll. I will explain what I can here.\n\n\"Sometime, long ago, this land was cursed. I don't know how or why, but I do know that the dead occasionally rise here. Over the course of my time here, I have noticed a few patterns. Incidents seem to occur disproportionately on or around full or new moons. There is an astronomical clock in the corner that should help you keep track of the current phase, though it is no substitute to looking out at the night sky. Similarly, the dead seem particularly likely to be active close to midnight. The clock will also help with that. During these times, be especially vigilant.\n\n\"Also, rotted corpses, even if they do come back, will not make much progress. However, the inverse also applies: freshly buried cadavers are the most likely to rise again, and will be more successful in extricating themselves from their burial sites. Whenever a new gravestone is added to the graveyard, be wary.\n\n\"With all of this said, on most nights you will not have to do much. Listen for such sounds as fingernails on wood, moving earth, shifting stones, or footsteps. Any of these may indicate a zombie has risen.\n\n\"Should that occur, your first recourse should be to shoot them with a bean bag round. It will stun them and knock them over, and you can drag them back to their grave. Hit them once or twice with a shovel if you need to. I have also left behind some standard buckshot: use this only against particularly persistent undead. We are meant to watch over the departed, and it is better if we can do less damage to their corpses.\n\n\"With all of that said, I wish you the best of luck.\n\nSincerely,\n\nMartin\"\n\nContinued in Comments", "They kept coming back, load after load after load. I'd run over, ripping the bodies off carts or out of their arms, but what was one man supposed to do against this? It was like trying to keep the tide contained. I thrust my shovel through the spokes of a wheel, jamming it against the side of the cart, but they simply heaved with greater strength and the car lurched forward, wheel dragging jagged skids in the ground. \n\nAll night I toiled in the cemetary, but in the morning they were gone and only a few of the graves remained undisturbed. It was hopeless. The blackness had finally sunk into everyone I knew, spidering through them like black mold. Each night, they would come into the cemetery. At first they just pawed at the ground or stared aimlessly at the headstones, but each night more came and their methods became increasingly sophisticated. Hands turned to shovels to great steam-driven backhoes, their blackened-iron teeth pulling coffins from the ground in a grotesque harvest. \n\nI had tried to stop them, of course. I was the groundskeeper, meant to protect the graveyard, and I knew that none of them were in their right mind. Each night I rose, put on my clothes, and stood watch. It was no great chore in the beginning, but now there was nothing to watch over. No one to watch over. I looked over at my father's grave. It sat quietly, peacefully undisturbed among the wreckage, the only grave I had managed to preserve. I had needed to fight my mother off, a shovel gripped with grim determination in her fists, as she had tried desperately to bring him with her to the rail. \n\nThe black rail had gone in four months ago, black lengths of metals hammered into planks black with mold by four inch spikes, all oxidized to black. Every night since the trouble started, the people had hauled their grave-diggings to the engine and dumped them into the boxcars, bodies and dirt and cracked stone cascading down like the devil's own coal. Then the engine would whistle out a mind-breaking scream and head back down the tracks. Back east. \n\nYou could never really stop it, they said. Once it hit your home, you didn't have a home anymore. You might not even have your life, wind up throwing yourself in a hopper like a lemming. That's what the rumours had said, sifting through town like a dark wind. They said you were doomed once the rail hit. \n\nI never did put much stock in rumours myself though, and so I drove an iron spike twenty feet deep in my dad's grave, poured concrete down into the hold it made so that any excavator would snap itself in half digging him out, and ran down to the black engine just as it was letting out a scream. \n\nI was going rail-riding, to the east, and my coat flapped in the wind as the train that carried the bones of my home sped along the dark rails. \n" ]	5
	[WP]A mad scientist has successfully convinced the entire world that landing on the sun is possible if you go at night. NASA has appointed you to be the captain of the first trip to the sun	[ "\"mission control to Icarus, testing comm systems, do you copy?\"\n\n\"yes sir, loud and clear. do we have the green light?\"\n\n\"t-minus 30 seconds to the green. you can proceed with launch initiatives and pre-req protocol...and uhh, oh, Josh, try not to forget your seat-belt this time\"\n\nUproarious laughter crackled through the radio and I couldn't help but give a chuckle myself. After being selected for the program, during my first time in the lift-off simulator, or as we like to call it, the \"L.O.S\" , my lack of a buckled seat-belt resulted in my face being smashed into the tempered quartz-glass window. Suffice to say, it was hard and after receiving an ice pack and picking up a tooth off the ground, we all had a good laugh. \n\nFastening my seat-belt and picking up a tape recorder, I hit \"play\" and put the recorder aside.\n\nI suppose you might be wondering why NASA would let someone who can't remember their seat belt pilot the maiden voyage behind a space craft in a televised event that the world will be watching. Well, the truth is \n\n1. It's not that hard to pilot the Icarus. You see, they took care of everything for me, its near autonomous. All I have to do is a few systems checks and to start up the \"Ick\" is almost like starting a car. \n\nand 2. It's like that way for a reason. Easy like that. \n\nIn the department the decision to take on someone new for the job was controversial. But outside NASA, the media Ate.It.Up. The headlines raved about it. Instead of the next American Idol, people were looking to see who would be America's next top astronaut. The auditions themselves were held in sunny, Orlando, Florida. Not too far from Kennedy Space Center in Cape Canaveral. Hundreds flocked but I guess it helped that I got there early. It wasn't too far of a drive from my parent's spare bedroom in Daytona Beach. The networks loved interviewing me. A fuck up, or should i say \"reformed fuck-up\". Who doesn't love an underdog, right? It's like I could hide it when my occupation would read across the screen \"unemployed\" every time I went on Good Morning America, fuck you good morning America. \n\nBut what set me apart from the competition is that I wanted it bad. Not that other people didn't, but what they were unprepared for is that I had been waiting for my 15 minutes for YEARS. I remember living out in L.A. and using the money I had to ask my parents for to pay rent. I remember eating cereal twice a day just to survive. All in the hopes that I would \"make it\" as a film maker. I didn't even need a career. I just needed SOMEthing. One piece, one big success and I could die happy, just to say I did it, that I really did it. I loved film so much, if I went my whole life without making one successful movie then I felt like I was a waste of a heartbeat. I would have starved for a big break. Not that I already wasn't. I considered filming my decay for YouTube and uploading it. \"Man starves himself for 5 months\", I could see it on the front page now. 15 million views, getting asked to speak on local news TV...And I would do it too, oh I swear to God I would do it if only it didn't violate YouTube's terms of services. Otherwise like most things in my life then, it would be for nothing...I wonder why God would give me such a strong desire for film making but make me a fuck up. I used to tell myself the feeling was him right beside me! Telling me not to give up! But it's hard to believe that after driving 5 days on gas you can't afford to make it back to your parent's house because you ran out of money after 5 months in L.A even though you saved for a whole year working day and night as a waiter.\n\nHowever, regardless of my past, this was my time to shine. The largest audience I ever had at a screening was 58. I counted. Now, this time around, the whole world would be watching. Mom and dad were so proud, my girlfriend Samantha was so proud. Everyone was happy that I finally found something to do with my life, like film was me trying to fit myself, a square, into a round hole per say. I might not have been good enough to get a real job, or \"make it\", but let me tell you, I'm not dumb. I was always a good student. Not a great student but a good one. In fact I was pretty good at maths and sciences, and that's what got me here. I was in shape, I could do the monkey-work of calculating this and that... and I knew how to suffer for something I wanted like no one else did. It also helped that I'm only 25 and I already have nothing left to lose. \n\nSo the reason they'd outsource and let a complete screw-up pilot a rocket? It's because they know they can't make it to the sun. It's complete phooey, total horse shit. But what they do need is someone to go out there and set up a beacon. Using the immense solar power near the sun, they've developed an invention that can harness the suns rays and transmit energy back to earth on the strongest cable of it's kind, pioneered and manufactured just for the mission. It'd be able to power almost 60% of all of America's energy needs, slashing emissions. It's our last option if we want to save cities like Miami, and New Orleans. Hundreds would die, and millions would be displaced. The economy would tank. The public doesn't even know how bad it is yet. Sending someone up to die would never work, they needed a cover. But that's between NASA, the white house and myself. To clear it all up for you, NASA didn't need an astronaut...they needed a martyr. \n\nAll I have to do is push the machinery out once we get to the drop zone, which is easy enough to do in zero gravity. When the other astronauts learned all this, they dropped out. But me? No way. As far as the world is concerned, I'm an undeserving genius who was just dealt a bad hand, and is a symbol of redemption to not only the American public, but the world. \"Look how he was down and out, and see how he turned his life around!\" they'd say. \n\n So essentially, this will be my debut, domestic, international, and final release. I always wanted to see my name in the credits but I suppose the news headlines and obituaries will have to do.\n\nI've long decided If I can't make the story, then I'll be the story. To my mother, and father and all my family, I love you. Tell your grand kids that I was someone. That I wasn't just a screw up, but I did something about it and all I've ever wanted to do was do something about it. I'm sorry this was the only way I could be someone, but to me, it's better to be someone at 25 than live to 90 and never be anybody at all. Call me vain but this is how I want to spend the life that's been given to me, this is what I want I want to dedicate myself to. I only pray that you can take solace in the good that comes out of this. I Love you. \n\nclick \n\n6...5...4...3\n\nI toss the recorder out the air vent, I know command will surely see it but it's too late to stop the engines now. I grab my cyanide pills from a plastic vacuum sealed baggie. To be taken after the DZ but long before I cross the incineration threshold. I hear HQ on the radio asking me about the unidentified object I just ejected from the cabin. I don't respond.\n\n2...1...\n\nLift Off\n\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] On your deathbed, you tell your grandchildren the story of your first love- and how she was 'human'	[ "There are a few things people don't tell you to expect when you're laying there, waiting to die. Firstly, that it takes a hell of a lot longer than you expected. Like, a lot longer. In those sappy dramatic movies, the person on their deathbed is seen blissfully slipping away into nothingness in a matter of minutes. In reality, I've stared at the same ceiling day in and day out just waiting for the ol' ticker to conk out. Secondly, they don't tell you just how much you remember. Life doesn't flash before you're eyes before you die (unless maybe you die pretty damn fast). Instead, it's like a slide projector, slowly and methodically flipping through memories with purpose: to show you the life you lived.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"Mr. Gordon? Looks like you have some visitors!\" My assigned nurse poked her head through the door and gave me a wink. What a wonderful gal. She's put up with this doddering old fool for two weeks now, laughing at my jokes, smiling. But I know that just like the others, when she leaves this room, she gags with disgust. I'm not human, afterall.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"Grandpa!\" Two little ones come running to me with smiles on their faces, pushing the door open and nearly knocking over the poor nurse. Full of such life at the tender young age of five. They made me proud.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"Well, well, well! Look who we have here! If it isn't little Jacob and Terra; how are my two favorite grandkids?\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"We're good!\" They chimed in unison, as you'd come to expect from twins. However, Terra had more to say, \"Grandpa? Will you be able to come to my birthday party?\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"Hey!\" Jacob interrupted, \"It's my birthday party too!\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"Nu-uh!\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"Yeah huh!\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI chuckled. God, it felt good to laugh. I think I'll miss that the most. \"Don't worry you two,\" I said, \"you're Grandpa feels ready to take on the world!\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI lied. I wouldn't make it past two more weeks. I'd still make it in time for their party, but I don't think I'll be much of a participant. Not in my state. See, that's the third thing about dying they don't tell you about: you know. You know when it will happen, like watching an hour glass with the bottom half missing slowly empty it contents on to the floor, desperately scrapping at the granules of sand to try and fill it back up again. I need more time!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nBut death does not grant these demands. Nobody gets more time than they deserve.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"You're so silly, Grandpa!\" Terra snapped me out of my thousand-yard stare. It was only then that I noticed my daughter and her husband in the corner of the room. Both with gentle tears in their eyes. They knew too. They had been good to me with my declining health, but they saw the signs. And so did I.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"Silly? But my dear, that is the only true way to live!\" I say with a voice full of intentionally corny bravado. \"Now, who wants to hear a story?\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"We do!\" Their eyes lit up like fireworks in a warm July night, sparkling with anticipation. They loved my stories, even more than I loved giving them.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"As if I would expect anything different from my grandchildren, the 'Great Adventurers!\" I tickled them on their rib cages, filling the air with the jovial sounds of children's laughter and the squirming of little legs as they wiggled around at my bed side.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nTheir mother pulled up two of the chairs meant for guests to sit in and sat one of them on each one.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"Alright children, are you ready?\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"Yup!\" They knew that when I told my stories, they were going to hang on to every breath. After all, they aren't old enough to have heard better stories from the likes of the great authors of my time, but this old coot will have to do for now.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"Excellent!\" I say with a grin from ear to wrinkly ear. \"Here we go:\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"A long time ago, there once lived a young alien who lived far far away from our little planet. His skin was green and shiny and his face full of little imperfections, like bumps and lumps. People thought he was the ugliest of their kind, and compared to the other people around him, he thought so too.\n\nHe was very lonely, but he was happy too. Other people did not like how he looked, but that's ok! When he saw what he looked like, he just smiled and said, 'That's a face I'll never forget.' He loved and cherished his life, working hard at his factory. Life was what he wanted it to be, and he wouldn't change it for anything. But still, he was lonely. He had no friends; they all made fun of him. He had no family; they all lived too far away. He was without a friend.\n\nBut he never gave up looking for a friend.\n\nOne day, after leaving his factory, he stumbled on the sidewalk outside and bumped into someone and they got hurt pretty bad. He felt so bad that he got her hurt, that he spent every day trying to make her feel better. He got her some bandaids for her cuts, soup to keep her warm and happy, and he would talk to her all day long. Eventually, she got better. And the man was happy that she was better. But he was also sad too, because he knew that now he would lose his new friend. But his new friend told him to stay.\n\n'You made me feel better and feel so much happier. I want you to be my friend forever,' she said. And he wanted to be her friend too. And together, they were friends forever!\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAt this point, both of the little ones were entranced by my story, their little faces twisting and adjusting to react to each detail of my story, regardless of how ridiculous I thought it sounded. And to them, it wasn't ridiculous.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"Yay! I love happy endings,\" Jacob shouted.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"Me too!\" said Terra, \"But I wanted the alien the get in a space battle!\" She loved Star Wars, though I'm surprised someone her age could appreciate an old classic like that. Still, I'm glad that they both liked my story.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"Kids, time to say goodbye to Grandpa. We have to get dinner started. Daddy will walk you guys out to the car and I'll be right there. I just have to talk to Grandpa for a bit.\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"Ok Mommy!\" And with that, they leapt out of the chairs and ran to their father, but not before giving me each a hug. Their little arms were so warm and strong. I wished I could have stayed like that forever. They both were out the door when my daughter turned to me.\n\n\"Dad?\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI sighed, \"I know. But they were going to find out eventually. At least now they have a funny story to go with it. Besides, this,\" I gestured to my face, \"is all they've known about their grandpa. So as long as our memories are happy, they won't know me for the freak I am.\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"Dad, you're not a freak! You just-\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"Sarah!\" I said sternly, perhaps a bit too sternly. \"You're a wonderful daughter. You never let my appearance get to you and you never let me feel like my appearance affected your life, even though I know it did. I've come to terms with this. That's why I told Jacob and Terra the story I just told them. One day they'll grow up and remember that it isn't what is on the outside that matters, but that you are a good person at heart and that you see the best in people.\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI didn't really believe in that. Sure, people are good, but they will always judge you for what you are. Still, we all lie to our kids so they don't have to face the harsh truths as bluntly as we had to. We always try and ease them into the world.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"Sarah, I love you. You are the best daughter any father could ask for. Now run along, Eric is waiting for you with the kids. And don't give me that sad face, I'm not going anywhere yet. Come back next week.\" I said all of this with that same toothy grin I gave the grandkids.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"I love you too, Dad.\" And with that, she left.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhen I was a young man, I was deployed under the rule of the United States Navy, touring overseas in Korea. At the time, North Korea had become more radical and easily-agitated. When our destroyer sailed too close to their shoreline in an attempt to recon their naval bases, they let loose a terrible chemical weapon that they had been developing, using us as goddamn guinea pigs. Of a crew of two-hundred-fifty, ten survived. And of those ten, I was one of them. All ten of the survivors had been in the bowels of the ship, repairing some of the ships plumbing. Still, even through air-tight seals, gas seeped in; not enough to kill us, but just enough that our skin changed.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWe all developed tumors all over our bodies, turning us into inhuman freaks. After a few threats of nuclear holocaust, the North Korean government turned over all chemical weapons, but the damage had been done. The tumors, while not malignant, still caused me great pain and disfigurement. And with my pitiful wage and piss-poor VA benefits, I couldn't afford to get plastic surgery. The only job I could get was in a steel manufacturing plant, provided I cover my face at all times.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI had just been fired, or more precisely, \"let go because of workplace conflict.\" On my way to the bus stop, I bumped into a young woman, accidentally knocking her into a sign and off of the curb. Her ankle injured and she herself covered in bruises apologized to me. But why? I bumped into her. I should be the one apologizing. Then I saw it, her white walking cane.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"My God, are you alright? I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to bump into you. I didn't see you there.\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\nShit, nice choice of words, jackass.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"It's alright, really. I didn't really see you there either.\" She chuckled.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOhthankgod, she has a sense of humor.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"Still, are you sure you're ok? That ankle looks pretty swollen.\" It was the size of a tennis ball by the looks of it. There was no way she was walking on that.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"Well, I won't be running any marathons anytime soon, though to be fair, I couldn't do that before, so no harm no foul.\" She attempted to get up, winced immediately, and sat back down.\n\n(continued in replies)." ]	1
	[WP] You are an average uninteresting person, and then one day a very average and uninteresting event happens.	[ "After kissing my wife goodbye for the day I set off early for work, climbed into my white ford sedan and backed down the driveway onto the road. The sun shone low in the crisp, pale blue winter sky and the frost crunched audibly under my tyres as I set out to work. A steady plume of steam rose from the exhaust pipe in the rear view mirror. I drove just under 30 through our neighbourhood, passing all of the other houses that were similar to our own, a white wooden three bed bungalow with a yard out back and a lawn out front, perfect for our two young children attending the local middle school. \n\nAfter a while the houses let up and I started to hit the highways, getting slowed up in the normal rush hour traffic. I listened to a local radio station which played a mixture of classic rock and nineties pop, along with special guest interviews, news and weather. That morning there had been some kind of incident in the middle east and the budget deficit was larger than expected. Some celebrity chef was being interviewed about their forthcoming show. The Raiders had beaten the Cubs 28-27 the previous evening. The traffic let up and I accelerated to 55, sticking to the outside lane except to pass slow moving semis.\n\nAs I neared the city of my destination I left the main freeway and hit the traffic once again, slowing to a crawl as I made my way to downtown. A minor collision was blocking an exit lane and it took some time to break clear but nobody was hurt. I drove into the underground parking lot at the mall and left the car in a bay between a Grey Silverado and a concrete pillar. The elevator in the parking lot was slow and dilapidated so as usual I took the stairs to the ground floor and from there the main elevator in the lobby. \n\nThe main elevator was crowded that morning. I hit the button for the 15th floor and got out when the elevator arrived at that floor. I walked into our office, greeted the receptionist and then made my way to the cubicle, opening my PC and starting to read my emails.", "Bob woke up. He brushed his teeth, he ate breakfast. Bob went to work. Bob filed papers, mutually ignored his co-workers, had McDonalds for lunch and filed more papers before going home to have a bland TV dinner and then went to bed so he could do the same again tomorrow as he had for every day of his life since graduating college.\n\nOne day Bob used the stairs instead of the elevator.\n\n--\n\nHow average and uninteresting. Perhaps it's because his name is Bob. \n\nOr maybe Bob isn't average and uninteresting. Maybe it only appears that way because we only listed Bob's average day as a bullet-point list of his activities and not his thoughts as he decides how the hero in his story would react if his lover lost her mind and became a stranger.\n\nNot the sensory inputs he receives every second he lives, of the sun's mellow glow as it lit the sky with morning's glory as he drove to work, the smell so rich of coffee brewing and the drip-drip-drip as the pot fills, or the texture of a stack of straightened papers.\n\nNot Bobs emotions, the small moments of joy in feeding his cat each morning or his struggle with feeling isolated. His feelings of never truly being known by another person, known as he really is and not just his placid face and his conversations never had. \n\nNot Bob's dreams.\n\nMaybe there's no such thing as an uninteresting person. Maybe there are just interesting people stuck in an uninteresting situation, struggling to be themselves.\n\n--\n\nRobert Orsworth wakes up every morning before his alarm but lets it go off anyway because he enjoys the sound. \n\nWhile he's brushing his teeth he continues a novel inside his mind he someday plans to write. He doesn't talk to his co-workers, but he plays out conversations with them inside his head. Like most nights, tonight he'll curse himself for his inability to have them.\n\nRobort feel trapped in his monotonous life, struggling to be who he really is. But today that will start to change. \n\nToday, Robert takes the stairs instead of the elevator. \n\n---\n\nMaybe someday you'll meet someone like Bob. \n\nIf you blow off the dust and crack the outer shell, perhaps they'll emerge. And with some help and encouragement maybe you can get them to speak the things they've only imagined speaking. And if you can get them to speak you will find they have a past, a history, a struggle, a song, and a story. \n\nIn doing this, you might water their soul, helping them grow into that person they have always dreamt of being. Someone interesting. \n\n\n\n--\n\nBob woke up. He brushed his teeth, he ate breakfast. Bob went to the airport. \n\nBob's co-workers never saw him again.\n\n" ]	2
	[WP] The neice and nephew of an elder dragon are coming to visit and it's looking for something to do to entertain them.	[ "It had been a century since I last took care of young hatchlings. But my sister has to go attack the human’s castle and take back her egg, so I could not refuse.\n\nI did not know what to do though. Young hatchlings get distracted quickly, I could not risk them stealing some of my hoard. After some hours spent thinking, I came up with a great solution. A nice, deep hole, dug out in the middle of my cave.\n\nI filled it with knights and horses, some of their rations so they would survive the wait. The day quickly arrived and the two young dragons landed in front of my cave, my sister dropping some deer carcasses from her mouth. Thanking her for the food I told the young ones to go inside. \n\nAfter a short talk about her children’s temperaments so I would know what to expect, I wished her luck on the recovery. With my sister gone I went inside to meet the two young ones.\n\nStanding in front of them I roared to get their attention. “Good morning kids. Today you will be learning how to fight humans,” I said, grinning at their cheers of happiness. \n\n---\n\nMore dragons on r/maisieklaassen ~ With some adventures, superheroes and other things mixed in!" ]	1
	[WP] thousands of years in the future, archeologists finally stumble across an unlocked smartphone from 2016.	[ "\"Johnson, come look at this!\"\nSteve looked around for the owner of the voice until he finally found him. It was Franklin Maves, hunched over the ancient sacks in the corner of the building. He made his way over, stretching his back and arms that had been working hard on digging through some rubble on the other side of the dig. They had only found it recently, an early 21st century school that had been forgotten and buried after The First Calamity. It was in the ancient country of America, a nation mostly forgotten in the pages of history, but that had occupied almost the whole continent of North America during its short existence.\n\nThe country had fallen before it had reached even a thousand years old, but had been one of the first countries in history to provide its citizens of all types the basic freedoms. They had found these buried ruins after their geological scans showed an unnaturally shaped cave in the area, which cemented the area as an important anthropological area for the history of America.\n\nWhat Franklin had found was a small rounded rectangle made of glass and metal. He had read about these during his research about the 21st century: a \"smart phone\". They were used as a rudimentary form of portable communication as well as access to the early stages of The Internet, may it forever give and serve.\n\nFranklin's hands were shaking, this may be our first chance in over 2 centuries to learn more about America from the information within this device. He carefully handed it to me, and we immediately made our way to our portable artifact caravan which was parked on the surface. There, we would find the correct wires and other ancient tools required for the operation of the device.\n\nThey found the correct wire, which had been labeled as a \"lightning cable\", and hooked it up to our ancient power converter. Within seconds, the black face of the phone lit up, as it started its booting procedure. Finally, after seconds that felt like hours, they reached the point that would either make this one of the most important finds of the modern age, or if it was just another useless museum display piece. \n\nA picture appeared of the glaciers of the Arctic, and the script that displayed the words \"swipe to unlock\". \"What does it say Johnson?\" Franklin asked, having not studied the older scripts as well as I had.\n\n\"It says we're going to be famous,\" I said as I removed my glove and placed my finger on the lower half of the screen and moved it left. The glass changed color to show what us anthropologists had been searching for for hundreds of years: the working, open, ancient smart phone. We celebrated and called over our specialist who would take the phone and search for all the data she could find. She had spent years training for the day she could finally work with a real working ancient smart phone, and she would be the first to do so of her entire discipline.\n\nAs I sat back and contacted my supervisors, she began her documentation of the devise, recording in both video and voice exactly what she was doing and what was going on.\n\nWe sat back and activated our chips, which we then used to see out of her eyes and hear her thoughts, see that we would not disturb her by physically standing nearby.\n\nThe \"home screen\" as she called it was covered in squares in front of a forest background with the older text naming each of squares, called apps, what they were. There was simple ones like notes, which was used to type out thoughts, but was lacking in any pre-made content. On the other hand, the app called books had many ancient texts that had been lost to history, including a translation of the Christian bible and piles upon piles of education instruction books for concepts like \"American history\" and \"trigonometric calculus\". I was going to have a field day with that historical one.\n\nWhile this was being done, I ordered the pilot to start up the electromagnetic engines of the caravans and begin taking off. In an instant, the smartphone turned black and refused to come back on ever again.\n\nAnd that is how I came be here in the interplanetary prison complex: because I destroyed the most important historical artifact in history." ]	1
	[WP] people start disappearing and you are the only one who notices.	[ "I stepped over a fallen tree, wide truck of bark still fresh from the previous year, slipping heavily as I pass it by. A tree like this one must have made an ungodly noise as it tumbled, and I could see the damage all around it- roots lifted above the ground, saplings crushed beneath its canopy, the trail ruined about its wake. For all the fight it had put up, it went down heavily all the same.\n\nThe crunching of sand and muck beneath my boots squelched with a rough and drawing grip on my landing, as if the soil wished to pull me down, to bring me into its embrace. I was almost tempted to let that happen. \n\nMy side hurt. \n\nThere wasn't blood showing though, but I had to wonder if there should be, or if maybe beneath the jacket and shirt there was some already present and I'm just wasn't seeing the proof. It had been a close thing I'd avoided before, and truly I was far from through with it. The route in front of my had many familiar miles more to go, and as the trail might turn about, winding through further fallen and rotten trunks: I would have to go onward regardless of the difficulty.\n\nOutside of grime and filth underfoot, the only sounds about are raindrops on delayed descent of pine tree branches, and the labored sounds of ragged breathing: My breathing. I suppose I should have realized that long before, but it's often difficult to think when your feet aren't the only thing that feel as though they're pushing through sludge and dirt. My mind was slowing down as well, with little choice of my own left to bring a halt to the trend.\n\nThe week hadn't started like this. \n\nNeither did the day- to be honest, but for months I felt it coming. The signs were there, I saw them plainly, but I was too timid to try and do something about it until it was far too late. Now I have to wonder if there are other people with that exact mentality, just quietly watching the fire spread, so to speak. I wonder if they'll end up like me.\n\nHard to say. \n\nAt a general look I'd have to guess there aren't many others, but I know my ego plays a role in that conclusion. Life circumstances have put me at odds with the general outlook to which most people claim loyalty to in life. Realism is one thing, but I've been told I take that mentality a bit too far. Realism to the point of bleakness, reality held like the lofted god I've failed to find proof of.\n\nThe trail only worsens as my boots slip deeper. The rain picks back up, and the trees soak through once more: The residual dripping now over-encumbered by the flood of new droplets joining the fray. Try as I might to ignore them, each one only adds to the cold shiver growing there, deep in my core.\n\nMy voice simmers in the onslaught of chill. Not even anger is enough for warmth now.\n\nStill, if my continuing curses are directed at anything, it would have to be how simple it all came about. How people let it happen: Will continue letting it happen in the years to come. The most bothering aspect of things disappearing, is how much it brings to my attention how few other eyes are watching.\n\nIn all seriousness beyond whatever convoluted title one might place upon the psychological description of the whole affair, I've found the occurrence more than horrifying. Far more tragic than a name placed upon a dusty shelf in a shadow filled library's backroom, might suggest.\n\nWe all start out this way, of course. Growing up as a child I was no different from anyone else, living under the presumed interpretation of the spotlight effect. We all feel as though people care about what it is we do, but only after a few decades does the solemn reality set in for most, and we realize how little observation is truly taking place. The illusion that people actually cared about what it was I happened to be doing, or why- for that matter, broken like a glass. \n\nPeople care about the places, the possessions, the actions or words directed at themselves, but when it really comes down to the line, that's where the sand is drawn. Where it starts, and stops. Selfishness, unable to look at the world around us- or unwilling.\n\nIn this age of flashing signs, glowing billboards, screens and tablets: People can't be bothered to pay attention to anything but what they feel is most important. The perfect twisted system: As the media makes everything so difficult for the average person to get away with terrible deeds. Murder, crime: The cameras are watching, a single report becomes pushed upon millions in the act of a single moment.\n\nYet, as I watched the news: I witnessed and heard nothing of value. Only the faint mumbling of voices or weather, sports, local events and happenings- the likes of which might as well have been silence and static for all the good it does anyone.\n\nI observed what they wanted people want to hear, just as always. Their presence so pervasive and forcibly trusted, so insidious in the minds of that patriotic population of followers, that if I so much as cared to listen in the first place I might have fallen for the sweet lies slipped among the truths. How perfectly the words are placed in their black and white boxes, set in stone for the world to be understood and expected: Easily ground and provided for a hungry obedient mind to chew and swallow them for granted.\n\nYet, even with my distrust of the television's screen, and the fake smiles made of cardboard, makeup and tinted lights, I watched and listened last night. I waited for the final proof. Proof that what I had seen with my own eyes might make it upon the screen for the rest to hear- one final test of faith.\n\nTheir silence on the subject of my interest, was a booming answer. \n\nTruly, a perfect twisted system. What is a tool for them, and misplaced trust for us: The foolish belief that crimes against you and I are reported. That those black-bags dragged into vans might have some mention.\n\nI was foolish.\n\nIt's cold now.\n\nI stare in wonder at the muck against my face. Cold and filling around my cheek, my chin and ear. Rolling slowly, painfully, I see the cause.\n\nIt seems my jacket was red after all. \n\nMaybe, it's small, but I take some solace in the knowledge that the pain I'd been ignoring was justified. A clean in and out hit, from back to front. Propping myself is the last effort I have in me, and sitting heavily against a tree and roots, that ragged sound of breath and wheeze only gets worse.\n\nIt must have been a clean hit, no other way to have made it for so long. It's a testament to willpower, I suppose.\n\nThe ragged noise continues, bothersome and overbearing. I wish it would settle, but I'm brought to realize yet again that it's my own choice in the matter. \n\nStrange to hear it so pitiful. My vision dims as the rain keeps falling.\n\nI wonder if they're following me, even now. Calmly walking along the trail I've undoubtedly left behind in my rough stumble; or if perhaps the rain has washed away my traces to let me pass in some semblance of dignity. There is little to indicate one or the other, for beside the air of my lungs and the pitter-patter of drops from above, the forest is silent. \n\nOverwhelmed by the cool storm of deep gray clouds beyond the canopy of evergreen. My eyes stay open though, against all odds they do, clammy fingers wrapped carefully around the grip at my waist.\n\nNever have I been an optimist. \n\nI wait, watching through dimming vision part sunset- part crossing of an ever-growing silvery brook: I wait for the dark figures that approach, green eyes of reflective metal and glass aglow over suits of blackened armor.\n\nFollowing after all. So much as I'd like to pull the trigger, my hands won't listen. Only my eyes move now, slowly following as those figures approach, my mind idly considering what tomorrow's news might bring.\n\nI can see it there as my light fades, a distant television screen of smiling faces, of weather, of sports and highlight reels. I can see the somber faces as they read a list of names, of accidents or crimes reported- but I know mine won't be among them.\n\n\"If a man falls and no one is there to hear him- does he make a sound?\"\n\nIt's a trick question. \n\nOnly if we're told.\n\n..." ]	1
	[WP] You're going about your day when you suddenly realize you can't feel any emotions	[ "I should have been upset but I wasn't. Their car sped off in front on me as I pumped the breaks to prevent what would have been a certain collision. \"maybe they have somewhere important to be\" I thought then sighed and turned the radio back up to its former volume scanning for my next exit. I needed gas and found one with a Starbucks too. A guy in a pickup stole the pump I was trying to back into. All the others were taken and he had seen me going for it but he was faster and appeared to be in more of a hurry. Again nothing, not even an emotional tingle. I signed and waited my turn. It seemed like I was running out of gas in more than one way today. After my fill up I set my course for the nearest Starbucks. I dont like coffee but when people need caffeine they need caffeine and this drive had been a long one. Refueled I reentered the highway to finish my daily commute. The rest of the drive was uneventful and it was during this time I appreciated my lack of emotions. Pulling in the driveway I slowed to a stop and let my passengers out before pulling in the garage to power down. Humans are still the most eventful part of my day. They are just so emotional, especially while behind the wheel of a car. Luckily for my family they don't have to worry about that anymore since I do all the driving now. Upon reviewing my daily encounter logs it cannot be denied that emotional driving is one of the major causes of driving accidents. Slipping into rest mode I thank Ford that human controlled cars are becoming a thing of the past.\r\r\rOn mobile so sorry for any typos" ]	1
	[WP] The new cool drug on the market kills you, making you experience the afterlife, only to resurrect you later on. The youths are loving it.	[ "“You’re dead,” the man who sat opposite me announced. He looked aptly grim and uninspired for an administrative clerk who processes the dead.\n\nI tried to stifle my elation, but it bubbled to the surface like a violent burp and popped into existence as a string of giggles. When it subsided, I asked, “Are you the Devil?”\n\nHis grimace turned into grin, his dark passivity turns into red hot ferocity. “Yesssss...”\n\nI don’t know how to tell you this, but the effects of the drug wore off in an instant and I knew in my heart to regret my words. \n\n“And…” he continued, “now that you have identified me, you can’t ever leave.”\n\n---\n\nI am world-building, prompt by prompt. Selected work goes [here](https://fivenswrite.wordpress.com).", "Jimmy had a group that he liked to use Rez with. His three closest friends, they could be trusted. Two at a time would drift, the other two ready with the Rev to bring them back. Drifting was gaining popularity since the drug Rezoprin was introduced to help with major invasive surgery. It was developed to suppress all major functions of the body while allowing the brain to fully function. Revoprax was administered via direct tap to the brain stem to instantly revive the body. It worked wonderfully well, except patients reported they were completely lucid while they \"drifted\" into the afterlife. \nFour years later, the drug became popular in the streets, as everyone sought out the afterlife and tried to answer the questions of existence for themselves. Surprisingly few people actually died forever from the drug, as it was well known not to try it alone, thus preventing one from \"coming back\". Obviously, you could only stay in the afterlife for so long. After more than an hour blood poisoning would start. Sometimes, after prolonged Drifting, the user would go mad after being brought back, since they wanted to remain in the afterlife. \nJimmy decided on a Tuesday that he was going to Drift for 80 minutes, longer than anyone he knew. His experiences were different when he used than those his friends described. Most users, whether they drift for two minutes or an hour, had a very hard recalling the experience as it played out in thier mind. Jimmy was born with a photographic memory. The short times he'd drifted so far piqued an insatiable curiosity, as he could recall the details of it. The longest to date he'd been under was 18 minutes before his vitals triggered an alarm. No one except the foolish drifted without\n an iPad or phone plugged in to a vital\n scan app. \n Jimmy was going to accomplish what no one had yet, open one of the doors , break through, and come back with the secrets. Most users loved Rev because it left them with a euphoria beyond anything else. Many only used it once, then never felt a need to go back. For most, the experience profoundly changed them and they would come back to life and live to the fullest, pursuing thier dreams, finding a soul mate or whatever they felt they found to be thier destiny. \nOthers kept doing it and became addicted, because some people just like to get high.\nTo be continued later?" ]	2
	[WP] There is an old house where no one who's gone inside has ever come out. A million dollars is offered for someone to go inside and return with footage. You accept.	[ "You open the door, and see a mat on the floor, just inside the door, with a big \"Come in\" stitched on it, in a funny font.. You take two steps forward, and close the door behind you. It is lit, albeit very dimly. \nThe door behind you creeks, so you turn around to look at it. It starts to rattle, around the knob, the rattling turning in to old gears clunking lower in the wall. You look down. It is one of those door mats with writing on it, that can be read both up and down, and you just get to make out it says \"Go Away\" before the trap door under the mat opens up.\n\nhttp://www.awesomeinventions.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Come-in-Go-Away-Door-Mat.jpg", "Adjusting the camera on my helmet I triple checked that the red recording light was on. \n\nCertainly I should stop fidgeting and go in, I'd waisted three hours in checking my equipment, surely the shoulder, knee, elbow, hip pads were evidence enough that I was prepared. Cleats ground the asphalt with my unsteady, over calculated \"frontier man\" foot steps. \n\nRivaling my own gear I saw channel 4, 7, 8, 13, 20 and news international all trained on me.\n\nSuddenly I felt clunky and paranoid. This feeling was short lived however, when the words of the reporters reached me.\n\n\"15 in the last 23 years lost...\"\n\n\"...mystery and horror surround the property...\"\n\n\"...bragging rights and $ 13,666,444 dollars on the line...\"\n\nI stood up taller to seem more deserving of the eyes and lenses trained on me and the rear view mirror blinded me for a moment before it was dark. The reward had a string of confusing and daunting conditions, including waiting for the last suns rays to retreat beyond the horizon, a full moon, on a 13th, 6th, or 4th of a month.\n\nAll this might've seemed ridiculous if it hadn't been proven this was in fact the safest time to enter the house due to the fact all the spirits, bad luck etc escaped from the house for the evening.\n\nThis begs the question though, are they relishing limited freedom? Or are they escaping some unknown evil? \n\nPlacing my hand on the single brass knob of 1 Guanajuato, Guanajuato I swung the door wide, and without thinking hurled myself into the abyss before me. The door swung shut smacking me in the butt on my way down..." ]	2
	[WP] After 5 minutes, your water bottle is still not full, and everyone in the office kitchenette is starting to notice...	[ "So thirsty...\n\nDamnit... the jug is empty again, why doesn't anyone else ever replace these things.\n\nThere's no doubt I'm going to spill water all over the floor as I try to put the new one in place. That always happens.\n\nWRUSHSHSSHS GLUGGLUGGLUGGLUG\n\nThere we go, as expected, a little on the floor, but not as bad as last time. Maybe I should be working out more...\n\nNow where's my water bottle?\n\nMaybe I should wash this thing, it's been a little over a week, and the rim is starting to get a little suspect.\n\n\"Hey Cynthia.\"\n\nWhy is this taking so long?\n\nSeriously, what the hell.\n\nThis... doesn't make any sense...\n\n\"Hey Cynthia.\"\n\nUgh, Paul never paid me back for covering our team lunch last week, jerk.\n\nOk, I don't understand, something is wrong here.\n\nThere's no... hole in my water bottle, and the spigot seems to be working just fine.\n\nWait, where is the water going...?\n\nHow the hell is my bottle empty??\n\n\"Cynthia, is everything ok?\"\n\nThey're noticing...\n\nIs this even happening? Snap out of it, take a few breaths, blink, SNAP OUT OF THIS. SNAP. OUT. OF. THIS.\n\nShit, still not full, the fuck?\n\n\"Cynthia, is everything ok?\"\n\nJust... walk away, time to go back to your desk\n\nSo thirsty...\n" ]	1
Imagine sailor moon, Now imagine if they were grizzled bikers in those dresses and armed with magic and most importantly guns.	[WP] Just as magic was about to use its powers to a create a group of magical high school girls, in order to fight the coming darkness. It misses and accidentally hits a nearby biker gang and giving them the power instead.	[ "Profanity Alert. NSFW.\n\n****\n\n\"Alright shitheads which one of you slipped me acid?\" Big Dan kicked Turnbull awake. The five most senior members of Wheels of Sin were holed up in the same room. No Old Ladies, no Groupies. Just Big Dan, Turnbull, Hank, Luke, and Carl.\n\nTurnbull grunted as he swung back reflexively then made a small pained noise when Dan swung again with his foot. \"Dude man stop what the fuck?\"\n\n\"What do you mean What the fuck? I done spent the past hour freaking out of my gods damned mind and Ace talking nonsense. So where's the Acid, why the fuck did you give me Acid, and you have precisely two fucking seconds on why I shouldn't beat your head in.\" Dan sounded, in a word, angry. He hadn't been this angry since the Nazi Lowriders gunned Carl's brother down in retaliation.\n\nDan's boot raised again, \"Danial Ashford. You will stop. Right now.\" Ace spoke. Ace was a tan and white splotched American Staffordshire, and until an hour before hadn't ever spoken to anyone.\n\n\"Did... Ace just...\" Luke then looked from Dan to Turnbull and muttered a string of obscenities before turning away from the now open door.\n\nDan's foot lowered and he stared wide eyed at Ace. More obscenities were spoken by the Wheels of Sin leader before Ace put a paw on his leg. \"Sit you fat sack of shit..\" Ace growled before kicking the door closed loud enough to get the other three gang members to start considering the idea of waking up. Luke even went for his gun, thinking it might be a raid.\n\n\"I'm only going to explain this once so I want you sorry sacks to wake up.\" Ace paced between the five of them. \"The Universe fucked up and fucked up hard. Normally rebalancing the world falls a group of young, optimistic, and usually highly screwable girls of varying degrees of legality.\" Her voice held much the same accent the men did, but there was a degree of refinement as she spoke. \"The balance is again threatened and the Universe tried to Awaken its usual lottory selection of she-saviors, but the class they're in literally is down the hall from us so the fate of the Universe falls on the drunken dumbass brigade here.\"\n\nBlank stares before Big Dan spoke up, \"So... I wasn't straight up tripping balls ten? Or am I still out of my goddamned mind?\"\n\nLuke looked sidelong at Dan, \"Bro if you're tripping balls i'm getting the same shitty hallucination.\" Luke then turned his attention to Ace, \"So what, you got zapped to try explaining to us that we're like... power rangers or someshit? Please tell me the outfits don't look faggoty.\"\n\n\"More or less. Your normal lives are over. It's rubber suit monsters and bad villain dialogue for the rest of your lives.\"\n\n\"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF\"\n\n******\n\n\"Alright fuckad.\" Dan flicked the safty on his colt 1911. He was lucky in that the transformation simply made him look more like a more expensive version of himself. Sure his helmet became this head swallower instead of a kaiser spike, but it had a skull motif going on along the visor.\n\nThe monster snarled before taking two quick rounds to the forehead. \"You didn't get the memo. This's our town. Our planet. You either play by our rules your you're welcome to choke on a bag of dicks like the last guy.\"\n\nThe monster responded by sending a goute of fire at Dan, who rolled out of the way, emptying the gun's clip into the creature. It advanced when dan's gun clicked empty, only to find Luke's shotgun pressed against the back of its head.\n\n\"DRAGON'S BREATH!\" Luke spoke, it came out as an echoing world encircling sound, but never rose more than a bare whisper just before Luke pulled the trigger, sending a tounge of steel-melting fire into the beast's skull. \n\nWhen the now headless body started to dissolve into smoke Luke offered Dan a hand up. \"Gotta say the one up side of all this bullshit is the fact I don't even NEED Meth to get over a hangover now.\"\n\n\"Right right, but I still say it's retarded we couldn't at least get a weekend off. At this rate we're gonna miss the big ride.\"" ]	1
	[WP] Write a story set on a boat.	[ "The crew were slumping under the shade of the boat canopy. Technically speaking, should they really wanted to avoid thirst, staying in the cabin was their best option; it was hot out in the open seas midday. But they couldn't stand the air inside the cabin. They preferred the heat of the sun to the damp and rank smell of the cabin.\n\n\"Hey, I think I got it!\" a voice came out from the cabin. The captain and his three men all jumped up and ran into the cabin. In the cabin stood a man with glasses, lighting a nervous cigar on his rattling lips. The man's name was Gavin, the navigator of the boat. The captain of the boat, Richard, snapped the recently lit cigar from Gavin's mouth and slammed it down onto a table, laden with maps, compasses, notes, and numbers.\n\n\"Shouldn't be smoking here, son.\" Richard said. The three other men awaited patiently. Gavin dug his face into his sweaty palms, and made an audible sigh. \"Just tell us what you found.\" Richard the captain commanded.\n\n\"So...\" Gavin began to speak, stuttering: \"I... uh... I... found out that, hah, we, hmm, on a current. If my mediocre astrology, I mean, astronomy is correct and then...\" Gavin took a moment to press down his shaking hand. \"From where we were, eh, before the attack, we're on, probably, North Pacific Current.\"\n\nAn explanation which satisfied none. The other crews had little to no knowledge of the sea. They were out there to enjoy their vacation, and the captain was called the captain because he owned the boat and was the eldest. It was a journey across the Pacific Ocean, a fun time to spend their summer, a bonding of friendship, and an opportunity for a group of psychopaths to play pirate. The pirates sabotaged the engine, destroyed the machinery beyond repair, and stole the food and fresh water supply save for some under the hatchway. And it was their second day stranded in the middle of somewhere in the Pacific Ocean.\n\n\"Now, what does that mean?\" Richard asked. The other three crew nodded to the captain's words, hoping Gavin would explain it in layman's term.\n\n\"Uh, if we sit here, and wait... the boat will ride this current, and reach somewhere in California.\" Gavin said as he slid his index finger across the map. As his finger stopped on somewhere on Californian beach, the crew cheered and blew a whistle.\n\n\"Yeah! Damn right! Fuck yeah!\" screamed Willis, a nephew of Richard. \"The smart man, solving all the problems, man.\" said Toby, an acquaintance of Gavin. \"Phew, I thought we were gonna... alright!\" said Kilian, a fishing enthusiast. The crew couldn't contain their happiness either, until that is Gavin raised his hand and continued his explanation.\n\n\"Uh, hold on folks. It won't get us there... soon.\" Gavin said, as he fixed his glass with shaking hands. The captain and the crew were hushed quick and stood in silence. \"It will take, about, six days at least.\" The colors flushed away from all the faces inside the cabin. There was a silence--quiet enough for the men to hear their pulse beating through their veins. All of them understood what it meant. There simply wasn't enough food and water. Water, specifically.\n\nFood, they could manage, they thought. Those extreme monks go weeks without food, they've heard. Kilian could catch some fishes. But water? They knew that people can't go on without water for more than three days. And there's only enough for 10 days worth of water, for one person that is. The entire population of the boat made very sure of what they had left in terms of survival in their previous discussion. A singular thought lit up in five different brains. A simple math, in reality. Should they go on, all five of them--Richard, Gavin, Willis, Toby, and Kilian would thirst to death; four days without water seemed like a death sentence. The thought: There had to be less mouth to water.\n\n\"So what you're saying...\" said Toby, being the first to break the silence. As soon as he spoke, everyone began to speak in turmoil. \"What Gavin was saying is,\" \"Did he meant to say,\" \"I don't think I quite...\" \"I heard you right, you son of a bitch,\" \"Sorry, I didn't invent the ocean!\" \"What did you fucking say?\" \"How do I deserve...\"\n\n\"Shut up!\" yelled Richard the captain on the top of his lungs. He smashed the table with his open hands several times. The other four men fell silent and waited what the captain had to say: \"We all, know, what we're thinking. The water. The water bottles, under our feet right now. But see, see, there's some water in the tuna cans, right? I heard watermelon's like, what was it, made of 90% water? Some other foods, they are bound to have some water in them. Do you see? We gotta work this out. We have to work together. Panicking won't help.\"\n\nThe men agreed. The panic and the fight would lose them more water in their body anyway, they thought, and followed the captain's order's to organize the foods. Tuna with juices saltier then sea water. Peanuts. Pecans. Dried fruits. Beef jerky. Potato chips. The faces of the crew darkened. The food seemed to be unappetizingly dry in general. Kilian fell to his knees and hugged his head. Gavin went out from the cabin to get some air. Willis started to kick the floor.\n\n\"We draw straws, tomorrow. No water drinking tonight.\" said Richard, crestfallen. Toby stood up from his crouching position and raised his finger to Richard. But when he noticed that all other men stared at him with the disapproving eyes, Toby returned to his despairing position. Better to take chances than to be lynched.\n\n\"How many?\" asked Toby.\n\n\"Two. I think three people can manage with the water we have left. Have a water every two days. Something like that. Will be tough, but won't die from dehydration, in my...\" Richard answered.\n\n\"But maybe if we plan better...\" interrupted Kilian.\n\n\"Six days. At best.\" said Richard.\n\nThe men sighed synchronously. For the preservation of the energy, the captain and the crew, exhausted and thirsty, laid down in the shades. None of them were particularly religious, but they all began praying in secrecy. Please, not me, Lord.\n\nThe sun set beyond the blue horizon and the crew still laid immobile. They were speechless, yet busy with thoughts. It was agreed that the unlucky two will simply jump into the ocean and wait for their inevitable death. The thought of floating around the ocean until their death terrified four of the crew. Kilian didn't thought about such grim thought. He had other plan in his mind.\n\nWhen the sun was shining on the other side of the planet, and the crew all fell asleep tired, Kilian rose and tapped on Willis's shoulder. Willis woke up fast, considering how anxious he was about the drawing tomorrow. \"Come,\" Kilian whispered. And Willis followed. When Willis came out from the cabin to the deck, he saw Kilian under the moonlight staring at a distance. \"Willis, you got great eyes. Are you seeing what I'm seeing there?\" Kilian said, pointing at a distance.\n\nWillis squinted his eyes as hard as he could to see what was Kilian seeing. He didn't see anything beside the horizons. \"Nah, I don't think there's anything--\"\n\nKilian wrapped a cable around Willis's neck and strangled Willis as hard as he could. Willis wanted to scream, but the pressure of the cables shut his throat tight. His face became red, and then blue. With a small nudge on his back, Willis fell from the boat, dead. Kilian's plan was simple: Kill to survive. One by one he will call his crew onto the deck, and strangle them. Until he's the only one left alive on the boat. When he turned back to return to the cabin, he saw a silhouette of a man standing under the door: Toby.\n\n\"You motherfuck--\" Toby screamed. Kilian nearly leaped onto Toby and threw a punch to Toby's face. Toby fell onto his back. Kilian jumped onto Toby and started to drop his elbow onto Toby's face. Toby's nose crushed inward, but Toby made no attempt to protect his face. Instead, his hand reached for his side, grabbed an ice picker, and shoved it between Kilian's rib. Kilian screamed in pain, a noise which awoke Richard and Gavin inside the cabin. The blood oozed from Kilian's side. He took steps back away from Toby, who in response ran toward Kilian and dug the ice picker right above Kilian's right eyesocket. Kilian whipped the cable, but was rather ineffective. Toby, clenching his teeth hard enough to break them, pulled out the ice picker and shoved it onto the other eyes. Then, Toby littered Kilian's face with holes.\n\nToby looked at his side atop the corpse of Kilian and saw two people, armed with pipes watching him in horror. \"No, it wasn't me.\" Toby tried to explain. \"I didn't start...\"\n\nHis explication of the situation was overwhelmed by the war-cries of Richard and Gavin, both of whom Toby saw charging at him with an intention to kill. Toby figured it's best to threaten them back with the ice picker, but when he tried to pull the picker out from Kilian's tattering face, he found it was stuck. A full swing of steel pipe struck Toby's head. He fell bleeding and began shaking his hands. More pipes fell onto Toby's head until the shaking stopped.\n\nRichard looked around for Willis, his murdered nephew now afloat the Pacific Ocean. \"I was afraid this might happen.\" Gavin commented. \"Just two of us, Richard. We'll make it through.\" Richard stood still, his eyes on his dead nephew. \"Right,\" Richard the captain answered. \"We'll make it through.\"\n\nRichard turned away from Willis's body and offered to shake Gavin's hand. Gavin accepted, and gave Richard his smile, which went unreturned. Gavin felt a chilling feeling running down his spine. Gavin had a hunch that this murder spree wasn't over. But what if Richard was simply having his well-deserved shock from the recent death of his beloved nephew and the murder of his mate? It's not like Gavin saw a man killing other man before. Gavin worried that the murderous madness got the better of him, and tried to shake away his invasive thoughts.\n\nNeither knew none would survive. " ]	1
	[WP] A teenage boy survives the Apocalypse with his crush. After a while he realizes she's annoying as hell.	[ "\"Josie, for the love of God, please fuck off.\" \n\nIt had been two weeks since the end of the Earth. Victor and Josie had been fortunate enough to survive inside the washrooms of the high school. Civilization had collapsed around them. Storefronts and old family homes turned to rubble; vehicles strewn amok on roadsides, some burning ever so slowly to the ground. \n\nBetween the two of them, dozens of family members were lost, pets vanished, and memories destroyed. Victor, ever the optimist, saw this as one of those cliched opportunities to grow closer to Josie. She had been his muse since the moment he met her, almost 10 years ago in the third grade. Strawberry blonde hair flowing effortlessly in the wind, her supple physique moved with grace. Victor was no pushover himself, but still falling into that \"out-of-her-league\" category so many of their classmates seemed to find themselves in. And now she was all his. \n\nAnd he hated it. \n\nThe first few days, aside from the mourning and grief, were actually quite bearable considering the company they were able to provide each other. They raided old doomsday bunkers together, a boon for supplies as the apocalyptic annihilation was brought on without so much as a sticky-note to indicate its arrival. \n\nThey really clicked, and managed to survive the first week together. And then it all went downhill. Victor couldn't figure out if the perpetual loneliness had anything to do with it, although regardless of what she told him on the matter, he knew deep down that it did. But still, she became incessant and destructive. \n\nForcing him to sleep alongside charred stumps and under dilapidated decks and awnings, while she found remnants of beds and couches to ease her slumber. It was killing Victor, not just dealing with the abnormal cold on an Arizonian summer night, but the fact that he was blindly following her every command based on the sole desire to eventually reconcile with her, and eventually procreate in order to, or at least attempt to, reconstruct civilization. \n\n\"Why, Victor? Is my humming bothering you?\" Josie snapped back at him with a sinister sneer. \n\n\"Come on, Josie, you know it is.\" Her mockery was infuriating. \"You could at least hum some Tom Petty, 'cause you're breaking my heart right now.\" \n\nShe chuckled at his lame attempt at a joke. \n\n\"Man, you've gotta grow up. It's the two of us. One of us was bound to piss off the other eventually.\" Her argument was valid, but it still irked Victor to hear her defend her annoying actions. \n\n\"Yes, fine, but it's all the time. Eating, sleeping, walking, sitting. Anything you could be doing, you have a hum for.\" Victor added a little snark to his tone. \"Why don't you come over to Team Sanity where we walk and enjoy the perpetual silence of this wasteland?\" \n\nJosie began to walk in silence. It was what Victor wanted, but he knew she was only doing it to infuriate him further. He heaved a sigh. \n\n\"Look... Josie. I'm going to be straight with you.\" He didn't want to say it, but it was his only chance at them getting along. \"I've loved you for the past nine years. Sure, it's kind of stupid to think of myself as an eight-year-old having a crush on you, but it's true.\" \n\nJosie peeked at Victor in her peripheral. \n\n\"I know it has been rough trying to deal with everything that has gone on, but the truth is, it's just the two of us now. And rather than clawing and fighting at every little thing that bothers us about one another, I'd really love to work as a team. I've been on your team all my life. Will you return the favour and join my team?\" \n\nJosie blushed the most romantic colour of red and pink Victor had ever seen. Even beneath her demented behaviour, and the layer of dust and dirt that covered her body, she was still the beautiful, intelligent, and unfailingly kind person he had ever known. \n\nShe smiled at him, and nodded. \n\n\"Of course I want to be on your team, Vic.\" \n\nShe had never called him that before. \n\n\"I've always wanted to be on your team. I know it's so generic of me to have dated all the guys I have, but deep down, I knew you cared about me, and I knew you were always someone I could count on. Now that we're the only people left on Earth who can be counted on, I want to count on you.\" \n\nVictor couldn't believe what he was hearing, and his face was flushed in almost the exact same shade of red. \n\n\"I'm sorry for all the irritability and irrationality. I know as well as you do that this whole experience has been nothing short of a nightmare for the both of us, and I never meant for my coping mechanism to bother you. I suppose I'm a little more of an exhibitionist than you are, so the best way I could keep my focus off the situation was to distract myself with whatever I could do.\" \n\n\"Holy shit,\" Victor thought to himself. \"She's going to say it.\" \n\n\"I love you, too, Victor. And I really hope we can always be there for each other to deal with whatever this crazy new world throws at us.\" \n\n*****\n\nMy second ever prompt response! I'm not sure if I'm doing okay at this. I would love some CC so I can keep working on bettering my responses! :) \n\nEDIT: I'm aware that I set the story in Arizona, and also that I spelled favour, colour, and behaviour all with \"u\"'s. I'm Canadian, but I felt that Arizona sort of fit the bill for a wasteland setting. Stereotyping, I know." ]	1
	[WP] You are one of the grunts that the cowardly villain just ordered to go head first into a trap, all your best friends died that way. You've had enough.	[ "We respected him. We believed in him. Because of that, we followed him blindly, committing vile crimes under the premise of reforming the world into a better place. \nIt was brutal.\n\nOur entire squad, wiped out by the trap of the 'heroes'; bearing joyful and innocent faces, unknown to the horrors of a hard life due to their incredible powers that gave them a free pass.\n\nI was the only one able to make it back to base, expecting him to be overwhelmed with a vendetta towards the people that slaughtered his men. \n\nHis beady, dark eyes looked down on my wounded countenance with a look of absolute disappointment. \n\n\"Huh? You're still alive, and you didn't manage to slay any of the heroes? What a joke. You've all been a waste of my resources. Leave.\"\n\nWe were wrong.\n\nWe were nothing but disposable puppets to him; expendable side characters that he managed to con. He keeps claiming himself to be a mastermind, and to that I could only wonder how he defines the word mastermind. Sending in most of your men to death didn't sound part of the plan. It sounded like he was just using us to make more space, more time between himself and the 'heroes' so that he could keep preserving his cowardly arse just a little bit longer everytime. \n\nAll of our loyalty and trust was devoted to him and the cause had rewarded us with nothing but betrayal in the end. \n\nMaybe the reason that we joined him in the first place was because of the fact that we just wanted to have something, anything to believe in, rather than just being hollow and homeless nobodies. \n\nI had lost everything. \n\nThis one fact was more evident when my forehead was scraped against the dirt and my prostrated body against the party of the heroes, begging for vengeance.\n\nI was only met with the same treatment we gave then back then: smirks, spits, and a kick of dust onto my body. There was no shred of mercy I would be able to get from them. Nor anyone.\n\nI had lost everything. That led to me unable to hold anything.\n\nEverything had slipped, and will continue to slip eternally through my fingers.\n\nNonetheless, it will never stop me from grasping that one thing I most desire with these hands. \n\nHis damn neck.\n\n(Thanks for reading! I'd appreciate any feedback, if you can.)" ]	1
	[WP] You accidentally stumble into a top secret facility, a suited man approaches you, slowly clapping and begins to congratulate you on figuring out his elaborate plan. You have no idea what's going on, but you you go with it.	[ "https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/59s7lq/wp_timetraveler_meets_a_stranger_that_can_live/\n\nUsing the same character from the above prompt to which I replied as the protagonist. Sorry\n\nThe man was suited and had a burnt complexion to him . He approached me with a grin . \" You seem to have understood my plan . And , it seems that you've successfully created a elaborate plan throughout time to not allow me to rule the world\" he said.\n\nThe letter said that I had to be here at 2090 and I had to poison everyone , including the leader . But , if I wasn't the leader , then why did the third letter say that I embezzled the funds? Was I made to?\n\n\" But , if I capture you and make your 2090 self see you , then I guess his or yours or whomever this plan is will fail. \" \n\n\" Holy shit , it's true after all .\" A over-hyped voice exclaimed. \" So this was your plan , huh , Mr.Herbto ? Becoming a dictator . \"\n\n\" Nice to see you , fanboy of 1funb0y . You two are so close and yet you both claim to be not gay . \"\n\nI didn't seem to recognize him . Partly because he was wearing a hood . \n\n\" Well, if it's any consolation , I am gonna disintegrate you .\" And , boom went the light as my so called fanboy destroyed Herbto. He then turned to me and said \" Believe in those letters . Believe in yourself . And poison me when I'm asleep . \" \n\nHe then runs to the dark passage and vanishes. \n\n\nLater that night,I poison everyone in and around and then sneak at the back door. I find him starting the launch sequence and then boom . the whole premises is gone .\n\nAnd now I know exactly where to be . I set my dial to Jan 4 , 2016. I sneak at the window and find myself , old and torn , placing the ring on my desk with the first letter . And then , he uses an atomic disintegrator to kill himself.\n\nI then go inside and read the letter . It reads \" Time is like a fabric. And , it serves as a record for the events that occur . These events get dyed and remain there as a permanent hue. But when someone starts going backwards in time , they start re-dying the fabric. Or in simple terms , stuff gets superimposed. Incidents can either happen or they don't. But in a superimposition , they both happen and don't.\" I then add the lines \"I am still yet to know is how much I can end up superimposing just by making myself visible to people whose timeline I don't belong to . Is time a stretchable , infinitely thick fabric that can be repainted an infinite times ?\"\n\n", "It was late and the noodles tasted like shit.\n\nIt'd been that kind of night. Jerry had gotten lost on his way home. Not entirely unexpected, trying to navigate the subway after a few drinks too many, but not much fun either. Getting off the F train Jerry had emerged from the station to find himself in the middle of nowhere. His phone was dead, his head was swimming, and he was famished. Walking (unsteadily) for a few blocks, he'd gone into a noodle joint that was still open and ordered the Cumin Lamb Noodles.\n\nThey were decidedly not palatable.\n\n_Fuck, just my luck,_ thought Jerry, _I'll just use the restroom and get out of here._\n\nHe got up and walked through the door at the back of the restaurant, paying no heed to the sign marked \"Employees Only\".\n\nThere were stairs. _Oh god,_ thought Jerry, looking around for a restroom he could use without risk of personal injury. Finding none, he resigned himself to swaying down the stairs. There were many of them, and it was a long, slow, heroic ordeal.\n\nAt the bottom he was greeted by three soft slow claps.\n\n\"Welcome. And well done! Well done indeed!\"\n\nThe man spoke with an English accent. He was wearing a three piece suit and had a black umbrella in one hand.\n\n\"Oh god, I was so worried no one would come. I thought these incidents I'd planned might not catch your attention or that this whole thing was too elaborate.\" The man was gushing. \"What if you didn't connect the dots? Well, none of that matters now. You're here. The one man who could solve my little puzzles. A worthy adversary at last! No need to worry, I promise it won't be nearly this easy from now on. I am rather proud of some of it though. What did you think?\"\n\n\"Can you show me --\"\n\n\"Oh! Of course!\" Grabbing Jerry by the hand, he pulled him along into the room.\n\n\"See here, the original engraving plates for the five dollar bill. How long did it take you to figure out that we'd replaced them?\"\n\nAs he was pulled along, the corner of a wooden table scratched Jerry's leg. \"Too sharp!\" He slurred.\n\n\"Of course. Yes, it was too hard to forge plates with the right wear and tear, so we had to do without and steal the newest set we could manage. I should have known it wouldn't fool a trained observer for an instant. What about the chain of thefts that got me the printing presses? I've never used that technique before. It was rather elegant wasn't it?\"\n\nJerry couldn't take much more. Between the alcohol, this ceaseless prattle, and what he'd eaten of those noodles, he was feeling decidedly ill.\n\n\"Ugh, the Chinese foo --\"\n\n\"Ah! Yes, the Chinese! God, you really did do the thing properly, didn't you? You could have stopped with the Russians and still had enough to find what was going on. Honestly, I didn't expect anyone to bother tracing the chain through to the Chinese. You're right, though, they really are fools to have left a trail. That'll set me back months, I'll have to build a new network of go-betweens. Oh god, this is the happiest day of my life!\"\n\n\"The lamb --\"\n\n\"Clumsy, I know, that clue with the figurine. Honestly, I was getting a bit desperate by that point. Dealing with the rest of them, it's like being surrounded by goldfish, isn't it? They just can't think think things through. I was so lonely. And the boredom is an affliction like none other. I don't know how you can stand it.\"\n\nJerry bent over as a wave of nausea passed over him.\n\n\"Hey! What's the matter? Are you all right?\" The Englishman was at his side, watching, eyes wide with concern.\n\nThe feeling receded and Jerry stood upright again.\n\n\"Yeah, I'll be fine. Probably shouldn't have eaten those Cumin Lamb Noodles.\"\n\n\"You _ate_ them?! Good god man, that was just a bit of tradecraft. You ordered the Cumin Lamb Noodles and it opens the voice activated lock on the 'Employees Only' door. What on earth moved you to disregard all the warning signs I put in place to keep people from actually eating here? The smell? The discoloration on the pasta? The 'C' grade from the health inspector?\"\n\n\"I guess I didn't notice.\"\n\n\"You didn't -- didn't notice?\" the Englishman spoke very softly now.\n\n\"I was just hungry and --\" Jerry started.\n\n\"You're no consulting detective. You're not any kind of detective, are you?\" sighed the other man. His voice trembled ever so slightly, as though from some supressed emotion.\n\n\"I'm an accountant.\"\n\n\"An accountant.\" The Englishman seemed to crumple as he spoke. \"Yes, I see now. I had hoped -- hoped, where I should simply have observed and deduced. The inescapable conclusion is that my fears were well founded. The New York detective is a dull breed, only equal to commonplace, unremarkable crime. There is no place here for an artist of criminal enterprise.\" This last sentence he whisphered and only he could hear it.\n\nThe last thing Jerry knew was that arms wrapped around his throat. Then the world went black.\n\nWhen he came to, Jerry was lying in a corner of the noodle joint. It was morning, and the place was empty. His head throbbed and his mouth still tasted of those noodles. A letter was taped to his wrist.\n\n> Dear Sir,\n\n> Please accept my sincere apologies for worsening your ordeals of last night and for comparing you (indirectly) to a goldfish. A car and driver are waiting outside, to take you wherever you wish to go.\n\n> In addition, for the love of god, go to a decent noodle joint next time. I recommend Xi'an Famous Foods at 41-10 Main Street in Flushing.\n\n> Regards,\n\n> J. Moriarty", "I consume my daily dose of politics and world events to keep myself cynical. It's a numbing protection against the real dangers in life such as a disappointed boss or wife. I tell myself they appreciate my sarcasm and general lack of interest in their own plights because otherwise they can take a hike.\n\nI pulled into work this morning with NPR blasting. I like to think those listening become infected with enlightenment when I drive by. Especially those talk radio zombie construction workers that normally sneer at me when I ignore their little flags. \n\nThere is something about the monotone NPR voices of reason that give me solace. It's not condescension. It's just that they make me feel more informed than the average man. Everything has purpose and order when described by a steady logical voice. Even irrational people find themselves cataloged in neat little boxes with each malformed behavior neatly labeled and contextualized so that I know they should never be taken seriously.\n\nI stepped out of the car, dusted the remnants of todays' Dunkin Doughnut from my lap, and pulled the laptop case from my backseat.\n\n\"Paul! Thank God you're here!\" It was Billy and from the sound of his voice he had made some catastrophic mistake that hopefully would turn out not to be that bad when analyzed by my steady hands at the rudder.\n\n\"Morning Billy, what's wrong,\" I sighed as I took the last sip of my coffee. \n\n\"The red door. It opened by itself this morning!\"\n\n\"THE red door? The one marked 'Restricted Area' with 'Use of deadly force authorized' beneath it?\" I was incredulous. Someone was going to be in a world of shit if this were true.\n\n\"YES! Paul I didn't touch it! I was just on my way to the break room when I noticed this... fog rolling out of the restricted area. So I looked in and...\"\n\n\"You looked in?\"\n\n\"I.. I did and Paul there are bodies inside. Soldiers are down but there are no alarms!\"\n\n\"Who else is here on the normal clearance team?\" I barked.\n\n\"On a holiday? You, me, and Lisa.\"\n\n\"Shit!\" I muttered, \"We need to call...\"\n\n\"All communications are down. My cell is 10 miles back at the guard tower drop box. I was just about to drive back there when I saw you pull in.\"\n\n\"OK, stay calm. I want you to jump in your car and get to the guard tower as fast as you can. Where is Lisa?\"\n\n\"I don't know. I wanted to find her but.. I'm afraid Paul.\"\n\n\"For fuck sakes Billy, just get in your car and go. I'll find her.\"\n\nI used my security badge to authenticate with the outer door, then my retinas and my right index finger on the inner door. The smell of the place was different when I stepped inside. The smell of new carpet and disinfectant spray was replaced by something more earthen and moldy.\n\n\"Lisa?\" I spoke aloud as I walked the cubicle that lined the parameter of the building. If I had been honest I would have said I was purposely avoiding the center of the complex and the ominous red door.\n\nWhen I got to Bret's office I pulled out the red emergency manual and started thumbing through. Inside was a list of numbers to call but as Billy had noted, all communications appeared to be down.\n\n\"Lisa?\" I called again and heard what might have been a faint response. I walked cautiously towards the hallway that lead to the center of the building. The mildew smell was stronger here, as if someone had opened up a basement door.\n\nMy heart started racing as I could hear unfamiliar echoes coming from the corner as I rounded it. \n\nThere the damned evil thing stood open as if it were a giant gaping mouth wanting to swallow the normal cubicle filled world I now inhabited. There was indeed some sort of dense fog rolling out of the door. Inside I could see a lumped form on the ground. \n\n\"I should go outside now and wait for the soldiers,\" I told myself. My brain did just that for a few seconds until I realized I was day dreaming. \n\n\"Paul,\" I heard a faint voice from inside the door.\n\n\"Lisa? If you're in there come out now! Billy has gone for help. We need to get out of...\"\n\n\"I'm dying. Please... please help.\"\n\nI swallowed hard. I didn't want to go in there. I wanted to pretend I had not heard my name. Plausible deniability. I could even say I didn't want to enter a restricted area.\n\nThen my feet betrayed me. I inched closer to the door and looked around. I couldn't see anyone.\n\n\"Paul,\" a voice weakly pleaded. Then there on the ground, in the fog I saw her. Her dark skin looked translucent contrasted against the rolling white cloud.\n\nI kneeled down next to her. She was bleeding from a wound on her chest. It looked bad.\n\n\"Lisa, I'm going to get you help.\"\n\n\"No, please. You don't unders... get me out of here now.\"\n\n\"You're injured and in shock. If I move you it could kill you.\"\n\nA large crackling sound echoed from deep inside the red door. Then the ground shook and an alarm klaxon sounded. I turned just in time to see the large red door closing. \n\nIf I had been more daring I might have made it outside in time. Instead I found myself fruitlessly pushing against the heavy hydraulic motors that sounded overhead. Then the hollow boom as the door sealed and locked. \n\n\n\n", "“This is why I don’t trust apps,” I thought to myself. “This thing wants me to walk into the river.”\n\nFrustrated, I clicked my phone screen off. I was trying to find a way across the river and thought a bridge was a short walk away. My phone said it was a 30 minute trip and I blindly trusted it. Turns out, about 20 minutes into the walk, that it wasn’t taking me to a bridge, it had me trying to walk into the goddamn river.\n\nI rested my hands on a railing adjacent to the river and looked across at the skyline I was trying to get to. My friend had texted me an hour earlier saying he heard that my favorite band Master Plan was playing at The King’s Lair at midnight. Now though, I was going to be late, if I made it at all.\n\nIt was already 11:40 p.m. so I re-opened my phone to order a cab. As I thumbed through the screen looking for the right app, an update at the top of the screen came down.\n\nTurn Right, 10 ft.\n\nFor kicks, I looked up at what it could possibly mean. To my surprise though, I saw a manhole cover.\n\n“It wants me to go through that!?” I thought. I’m always up for an adventure, but that would just be savage. Who knows what kind of disgusting rats live in that thing, is it even safe?\n\nStill, the explorer in me was still pretty intrigued. If I didn’t make it to the show, I might at least get a story out of the journey. Besides, I could always check it out, and if it looked sketchy, I’d just back out.\n\nI lifted the cover to find a well lit, nice looking tunnel.\n\n“Holy shit, this is the nicest sewer I’ve ever seen.”\n\nThe ladder leading down was a smooth steel, LED lights on either side lit up the tunnel, and the grey walls were paved smoothly.\n\nMy hopes had been bolstered by the revelation and I figured if I hurried I could make it to the show on time.\n\nA few moments later, I had descended to the base of the ladder. I looked beyond to see the tunnel was a comfortable width, clean, and well lit. “Fuck yea, I’m doin’ this,” I thought, as I made my way through the tunnel.\n\nAfter a few minutes, I came to an opening.\n\nI entered a spacious room, the entirety of which, was chrome colored. To my right was an elevated platform that was wide enough to be a stage, and had a large computer monitor over it with several smaller computers under it. Opposite of that were large cylindrical tubes filled with green or orange fluid. In them floated organisms that did not look to be from this earth.\n\nSuddenly I heard clapping and a voice boomed from a bannister opposite my entrance.\n\n“Well, well, well, I see you’ve made it to the king’s lair,” a man in a suit said as he looked down upon me.\n\n“Yeah man, sick venue. These props are awesome.”\n\n“I see you’ve figured out this is where I’d carry out my master plan at midnight.”\n\n“Yea man, I’m super stoked. Am I the only one who made it?”\n\n“It appears you were the only one smart enough to follow the clues.”\n\n“Right, I mean, I just followed my phone, but like, you kind of want people to be able to find your show right? Like this is a little off the beaten path.”\n\nThe suited man cocked an eyebrow.\n\nI forgave the promoters lack of marketing prowess, found a spot against the wall and took a hastily rolled joint out of my pocket.\n\nSuddenly, there was a loud bang on the stage and black smoke started to form. Two men in kevlar vests rappelled down from the ceiling. The suited man pulled a weapon out of his pocket and began to fire red lasers at the stage, while the men fired back with green lasers of their own.\n\nI was in awe by the choreography of it all, these guys never failed to put on a show. I lit the joint, took a deep breath in, and then exhaled.\n\n“This show’s gonna be sick.”", "It was a rainy, miserable Thursday morning when Ellie vowed to stop antagonising her employers after being fired, yet again because of her temperament. Six jobs in last two years, each one with increasingly ridiculous coworkers, borderline illegal transactions and positively insane bosses. \n\nThe last job seemed perfect, a quaint coffee place, the kind with overpriced beverages and post-ironic clientele. Sure it was slightly tedious but the pay was good and her last boss was an unhinged witch so it seemed a step up, then again most jobs were a step of from that. \n\nShe was so happy to have a slice of everyday normality, no witches, no ancient evil organisations, no mad scientists - only coffee and the quiet indie rock music filling the room. Until she started noticing that there was no steel, no iron in the entire coffee shop. All the machinery, the counter tops, picture frames - even the door handles were copper. She took note of the ethereal beauty of her coworkers and how cruel their smiles were. Their tinkling laughs and the strange powder they mix with the coffee beans, how the longtime customers get a desperate look on their faces after not visiting the place after a while, how they feel thirst that can't be quenched with any water on earth. Only this coffee. Her shift had only started when she figured it out - Faerie. Of course. Fucking faeries. She should have stayed quiet and made no fuss. But that is not her style. The streets seemed to mirror the pathetic mood she was in.\n\nThe rain turned from a drizzle to a downpour, soaking her to the bone. She walked home with determination, her boots making a squelching sound with every step forward. The battered old blue umbrella flew away from her grasp and with a cry of frustration she decided to take cover. \n\nA looming building with glass windows rose before her. She wrenched the door open, stepped inside and with a bang yanked it closed. She was greeted with eerie silence and an empty hall, thunder booming while a storm raged outside. With a sigh she decided she might as well explore while she was stuck. Elaborate corporate building with an unlocked door and all the lights on seemed like a mystery. \n\nThe stairs led to the second floor with multiple conference rooms but the biggest was the presentation room with rows of chairs neatly placed in front of a podium. Suddenly a man rose from a front row chair as she walked past and she screamed momentary. The man started clapping. \"I must admit, I never thought I'd meet such a worthy adversary, Detective Inspector. \" \n\n\"Um.\"\n\n\"Although, I have to say, you do not look like I imagined. Still. Clever, very clever. Your squabbling colleagues almost fooled me. Almost. I knew there had to be a mastermind behind this, thwarting me at every turn.\" \n\n\nHe smiled sardonically while she wild eyed searched for the nearest exit. \n\n\n\"Um, I think you've got the wrong person-\" \n\n\"Let's not play these tricks anymore. The clock is ticking. The bomb is going to wipe out the entire city in minutes unless you stop it!\"\n\n\"THE WHAT NOW?!\"\n\n\"...The bomb?\"\n\n\"What do you mean a bomb?! What the hell?!\"\n\n\"...Are you serious?\"\n\n\"No, are YOU fucking serious, what kind of a hyperbolic villain are you to plan to blow up the city?! Might I add - you are IN the city right now.\"\n\n\"Oh, dear... You are not the detective, are you?\"\n\n\"NO I AM NOT!\"\n\nHe sat down on the floor and mournfully stared at her. \"This was supposed to be the final scheme, me and my foe facing off before I win! The grand ending to my majestic story! Now it is ruined.\"\n\n\"...\"\n\n\"...\"\n\n\"...Are you crying?\"\n\n\nThe door of the presentation room flew open and a dishevelled looking young man brandishing a gun ran in and was faced with a crying man on the floor and a soaked girl comforting him.\n\nHe cleared his throat. \"Argus! Your plan failed! The bomb was deactivated and now you're going to jail!\"\nThe man openly started sobbing and wailing. Ellie sighed and gestured at the crying man. \"Fix this. I'm going home. It's been a long day.\" \nOn her way home the wind picked up speed and her blue umbrella returned and flew into her face.", "\"It was easy, really\" I replied \"...once I knew where to look.\"\nI was looking at my phone, feverishly zooming in and out on google maps, waiting for the location to load.\n\n\"Don't bother calling for backup Agent,\" sneered the well-dressed man, \"Your comrades arrived hours ago.\" His lip curled up to reveal a row of golden teeth.\n\"They're all... waiting....for you.\"\n\n\"Hokayyy....just gimme a minute\" I said. The map still wouldn't load.\nI shot the suited man an irritated glance and said, \"You guys have terrible cell service down here, you know that right?\"\n\nHe raised an eyebrow, \"Surely you're haven't lost the Direct Interface Communication Kit given to us by our recently departed mentor?\" \"The D.I.C.K device is an incredible piece of technology, capable of making direct contact with anyone from any location at any time. You should not have lost it, Agent.\"\n\n\"Errrr...this is just a loaner, I had to take my D.I.C.K device in for um....you know....servicing\" \n\nI chuckled, but quickly lost humor with the situation as the well-dressed man produced from his vest a very serious-looking pistol.\n\n\"Follow me,\" he commanded impatiently, \"The others are waiting.\"\n\nNot having any better options, I obliged the man and followed him down the tunnel. I opened up google maps on my phone again but the words, \"location not found\" displayed on my screen.\n\n\"Godamnit!\" I swore under my breath. \n\nAll I had wanted today was to pick up a socket wrench at Home Depot for my Dad's birthday. Being new to the city, I wasn't sure how to get there, so I plugged it in to the search bar of my google maps.\nI followed the robot lady's voice for every turn, and she had brought me to a deserted parking garage at the outer limits of town. \n\nThe building it was attached to was really run-down, but I've never been one to judge by appearances, and I figured the store was located somewhere behind its crumbling walls. So I locked the doors of my car and walked across the empty garage towards the elevator.\n\nThe elevator had only one button. So I pressed it.\n\nThe lights shut off and I felt the floor drop with a sickening lurch. My body caught the floor and reached out blindly in the dark for something to hold on to.\n\nAfter about three minutes or so, the elevator screeched to a halt, and the doors opened up into an enormous tunnel, where the well-dressed man had been waiting.\n\nAnd now here I was, following a stranger of questionable character down a gently sloping tunnel.\n\n\"You know I was beginning to worry you wouldn't find us.\" drawled the well-dressed man, \"You really had us waiting on pins and needles.\"\n\n\"Ugh, why do you keep saying it like that?\" I asked.\n\n\"What? Like this?\" he replied\n\n\"Yes, like that.\" I retorted.\n\nThe well dressed man cackled and threw both his hands waving into the air, and I was forcibly reminded of the wacky inflatable mascots which stood guard outside the Jiffy Lube.\n\n\"Why, I've been waiting for you to ask.\" He said, and punctuated the statement with a wheezy chuckle.\n\nWe continued down the tunnel, and several awkward moments passed before I asked, \"And.....!?\n\n\"Oh I think I'll just leave you waiting for an explanation.\" He answered gleefully.\n\nI was really beginning to hate this well-dressed man.\n\nI pulled my phone out from my pocket and checked, still no service. But by now we had entered what looked like a monstrous industrial factory. All manner of sinister weaponry and evil robotic components ran with fluid mechanical ease through an elaborate series of assembly lines.\n\n\"I'm building a sweet robot army.\" Bragged the well-dressed man. \"Each will be equipped with rad laser cannons and rocket boosters, I call them my Live Action Mechanical Eliminators He made a sweeping gesture with his arm and continued, \"Soon all the earth with tremble before my L.A.M.E army, all will fall before my mighty mechanical....\"\n\nBut I wasn't listening, on a nearby workbench I saw a beautiful socket wrench, its handle gleaming beneath fluorescent lights. I reached out and grabbed the tool, finding it to be of sound quality and superior craftsmanship.\n\n\".... and when I finally burn Vancouver to the ground, I'll use my bot army to build giant bounce house with huge balls and....\"\n\nThe well-dressed man hadn't noticed my detour, he was caught up in his evil monologue. I made a choice.\n\n\"....oh and all the presidents and queens and kings will be waiting on me hands and feet....\"\n\nI gripped the handle tight.\n\n\"...and god knows I've been waiting for this for so long that I.....\"\n\nI brought the wrench down with all my rage upon the well-dressed man's hateful head. Blood sprayed from his scalp and I brought the wrench down on his head again as he fell forward onto the cement floor.\n\nHe rolled onto his back began to feebly crawl backwards with one arm reaching out in futile resistance. \"Wait...wait.....wait...please..\" He gasped.\n\nI looked down upon my vanquished foe and felt the power of savage human triumph, \"I'm done waiting\" and brought the wrench down one last time.\n\n\n\"*MAKE A U-TURN!\n\nI jumped as a voice echoed through the factory.\n\n\"MAKE A U-TURN, THEN CONTINUE SOUTH FOR THREE HUN'DRED FEET!\n\nIt was google maps, come alive at last. I made a u-turn, slipped the bloody wrench in my back pocket, and went home.\n\n\n\n\n\n", "I almost broke my back and this chucklehead was clapping.\n\n“A little help here?” I said angrily, glaring down the pristine white hall at him.\n\nHis slow clapping ceased, but he still wore a sleazy grin. “You didn’t need my help in Paris. Or Brussels, for that matter. In fact, you’ve been quite, ah, self-sufficient.”\n\nI pulled myself up, noting his jet-black suit and oily hair. “Listen bud, I just fell into your little, uh, facility here. The least you could do is make some sense. I could sue, you know.”\n\n“Quit the chit-chat, Parker. I know who you are.”\n\n“Parker.” I said. “Right, Parker. Yes, that’s me. Parker.”\n\n“And now that you’ve found my little hide-out, tell me what you know.”\n\n“Uh–”\n\n“You, of course, must know that my trips to Europe have only been decoys. I plan to release the chemicals here in America, should they fail to pay the ransom.”\n\n“Yes. I - I definitely knew all of that.”\n\n“And you know, based on the recent influx of glyphosate brought in by my trucks, that I plan to wage biological warfare on the US’s crops.”\n\nI glanced up to see if I could escape through the trap door I had entered. “Obviously.”\n\n\"But I assume you were at a loss as to where I would strike first.”\n\n“Actually, I–”\n\nHe suddenly produced a map from inside his jacket. “Castroville, California! Artichoke Capital of the World!” At this, he cackled, a terse laugh. “You see, my trips to exotic Paris and its Belgian counterpart were not, as you might have thought, in vain. I procured sufficient information about the culinary preferences of these two cities, discovering their primary imports from America – other than tourists, Disney products, and a half-dozen other non-edible goods – to be none other than artichokes! The French and Belgian economies will be brought to their knees!”\n\n“Is that, uh...is that it?”\n\n“Admittedly, I would have preferred to bring the global economy to its knees, but you have to start somewhere. Never mind that. It is time we battle to the death.”\n\nWithout warning, a man landed behind me, which did nothing for my heart condition. I whipped around and immediately saw the gun in his hand.\n\n“Put your hands up, Jenkins.” He ordered, sneering at me.\n\nBefore I could respond, the man I had been speaking to piped up. “That’s Parker. I’m the one you’re after, unknown person.”\n\n“Jenkins,” he growled, turning the gun toward Jenkins. “I’m afraid you’re mistaken. I’m Parker.”\n\n“No, he said he was Parker.”\n\n\"Listen, uh, buddy.” I leaned in close to the real Parker, muttering, “I just fell into that hole and this guy started rambling on and on about artichokes.”\n\n“Artichokes?”\n\n“Yeah, something about Castroville, destroying the French economy, all kinds of stuff. Are you his caretaker, or–”\n\n“The fiend,” said Parker, aside. “I knew it was something like this. Flee, citizen, while you still can. And when next you stumble upon an evil lair, please don’t use my name. It’s bad for business.”", "This morning was going along well. I grabbed my tea, went to my job at S.T.A.R. labs and saw that there were free donuts. My boss gave me a bonus for helping him out with something last week, and the vending machine already had three dollars inside. Needless to say, I was pretty stoked. I then walk down one of the halls and trip into a wall. turns out it's some weird hidden door. When I walk into the room, it's covered wall to wall in massive braille, which mind you is an interesting design choice. I look to the left and see some strange yellow leotard. Then I see him. The CEO of the entire company, clapping. \n\n\"Congratulations, you've figured it out.\" he says, as a random CHUPCHUPCHUP* noise plays. \"I'm not surprised that there was smart enough to do so. It's a shame really. I had so much in store.\"\n\nI don't want to be rude and get fired, you know how it is, so here I am all \"Uh, yeah, it was pretty tough, but I could manage. By the way is there a helicopter outside, or-\"\n\n\"I had everything lined up just right. I'm so close to going home. Of course you knew that already.\"\n\n\"Yes! Definitely, everyone just wants to be done with the workday right?\" you know, gotta keep the conversation light.\n\n\"I trust you knew about the particle accelerator, I've disappointed myself.\" Now, at this point, I have no clue what he's talking about, so I just let him talk, he's bringing up the fact that he's in a world where everyone's been dead for centuries, mentioning some shit about killing this one\"gary's\" mom, and uses the word reverse a lot. \"anyway, you know too much now, so I might as well get rid of you\" \n\nSo now there's a vibrating hand in my chest. That's a thing." ]	8
	[WP] Death, the loneliest guy in the world, tries online dating.	[ "She seemed young. For a moment he doubted himself, his own ability to perceive age. Of course she'd seem young against him. But he was an expert in physiology, and she had smooth skin and a strong, if hesitant walk. No trauma in her past, none physical at least, nothing to touch her inside or out. She quickly spotted him at the only table on the roof. \n\n\"Your bio never explained why you wear all that wrap. Is it a religious thing?\" He'd seen the costume in a movie, once, called the Invisible Man. Bandages over every inch, gloves, a fully covered mouth, even, and goggles that the children would call 'steampunk' with thick, black lenses as wide as his eye sockets. A man had died in that theater; he had a heart attack while a female acquaintance entertained him. From what he heard later the end of the movie wasn't worth sticking around for, anyway. \n\n\"More physical,\" he said. \"I don't like the light.\" \n\n\"Well, it's evening now. If you feel comfortable, you can take them off.\" \n\n\"I think I'll wait.\" He'd stuffed cotton under the wrappings in some places, entire pillows in others, and in others simply gone over the joint or bone ten times. \n\n\"So you're an Ace?\" \n\n\"I do not know that terminology.\" \n\n\"Yeah, it's a kind of obscure online thing these days, still. Ace, it's short for asexual, as in someone who has a very low or no sex drive. That's what I am, anyway. A lot of us still like to cuddle. And low doesn't necessarily mean no. It's all a spectrum.\" She stared into the goggles, looking for a blink or a twitch of the eye, but there was no light. \"I can take or leave cuddling, myself. But it's nice to live with someone who knows what they're talking about. I'm very interested in the idea of a best friend for life.\" \n\n\"I suppose, by your definition, it would be fair to call myself 'ace.' I'm less attached to the idea of a friend 'for life,' specifically.\" \n\n\"What, a one night stand on conversation?\" she asked. \"I don't know whether to be insulted.\" She was smiling, but only a little. \n\n\"Forgive me, I haven't been around people very much in a long time and the direct stimulation is a little overwhelming. I work in a complicated field,\" he'd rehearsed this line, \"sort of related to mortician. But I don't want to talk about work today.\" \n\n\"Okay, I get it. We could talk about my work, but, well, I'm on disability these days.\" He cocked his head a little. \"I know, right? I'm skinny, got both my legs, all of that. It's a story, though, and it can ruin entire months if I don't plan right. The kind of story you'll only get on a second date. No one night stand conversations, you hear?\" \n\n\"I understand,\" he said, trying to sound like he was smiling. \"So how do you fill your time?\" \n\n\"I volunteer at an animal shelter a couple of times a week. It's good. Yesterday I got to help deliver a litter of puppies.\" Four live, one stillborn, he thought, suddenly recognizing her face. \"One came out wrong, but the other four didn't even seem to notice. Just minutes old and they already wanted to play! So full of life! It's great, you know? I spend a lot of the rest of my time reading, and the contrast is nice.\" \n\n\"I know what you mean. I... arranged this date for contrast. From work. Have you read anything good, lately? I feel like I don't read enough, and maybe if the right person gives me the right book...\" \n\n\"I know exactly what you mean. This is going to sound insane, but I guess you could've guessed I'd be into this sort of thing from the pictures of me in the sugarskull mask from that costume party last winter. I just finished a book called Necrophilia Variations by Supervert. It was wild.\" \n\n\"I'll find a copy tomorrow.\" \n\n\"I can lend you mine.\" \n\n\n~~~~~~~~\n\n^^^Not ^^^sure ^^^exactly ^^^how ^^^strict ^^^this ^^^sub ^^^is ^^^over ^^^NSFW ^^^references, ^^^but ^^^if ^^^you ^^^look ^^^for ^^^some ^^^hysterical ^^^lady ^^^reading ^^^that ^^^book ^^^on ^^^youtube, ^^^just ^^^search ^^^the ^^^title, ^^^yeah ^^^that's ^^^the ^^^reference. \n" ]	1
	[WP] A wizard pulls a "Magic frog to Prince" scam, in order to pay off his debts. He soon marries a princess, only to find out that he took over a failing kingdom that's heavily in debt.	[ "\"Walk me through that one more time,\" Winston said. \n\nDelia sighed a bit too theatrically. Winston was regretting his decision more every minute. \"Daddy says not to ask about money. But I saw the Exchequer's books one day and we owe a lot of gold to a lot of people.\"\n\n\"What ... what did you spend it on?\" Winston looked around the room in the castle as he spoke. The tapestries were old but clean and the furniture was sturdy and ancient. Nothing he'd seen in the castle was less than fifty years old at a minimum. \n\n\"I don't know. We did fight a lot of wars. My first husband - Prince Reginald - he got killed when Daddy invaded Purlovia. Then they got angry and invaded us right back. So Daddy hired some mercenaries. I only know because he had a big feast when they won and one of them tried to 'claim' me. Daddy threatened to have them all executed but they said he didn't have an army and even if he did, if Daddy killed them, no other mercenary would ever fight for him again. So he let them go.\"\n\n\"Ok, two wars can rack up some debt. The numbers still seem a little off.\"\n\n\"Daddy has hobbies!\" Delia brightened up when she wasn't taking about the wars. \n\n\"Like what?\"\n\n\"Daddy is very very very smart. He invents things. Well, some things. He pays a lot of inventors to invent things.\"\n\n\"Uh-huh. What do they invent?\"\n\n\"There was a man here a month ago that was inventing a way to get rid of chamber pots. He said it would be a special chair that would get rid of ... well, you know.\"\n\n\"And how much did he want?\"\n\n\"Oh, almost nothing at all. But Daddy forced him to take a hundred crowns.\"\n\n\"Did this magical chair ever work?\"\n\n\"No, it was too complicated. The man said with a few more crowns, he was sure he could get it working. I guess he needed to work somewhere else though because he disappeared right after Daddy gave him our last few crowns. \n\n\"Oh lord. Anyone else?\"\n\n\"There was Mangiotti, the Magnificent. He invented a way of writing secret messages that no one could read!\"\n\n\"No one at all? Not even the person you were sending it to?\"\n\n\"No one. He was very good.\"\n\n\"How much did that cost?\"\n\n\"Mangiotti needed a lot of room and stuff to make such a grand invention. He got a quarter of the kingdom and is now a duke.\"\n\n\"Of course he is. Any other 'great inventors'?\"\n\n\"Lots of them. Tinnabald - he had the idea for the royal roads throughout the kingdom. Then there -\"\n\n\"Wait, your father invested in the royal roads? They charge three pennies to trace that. Everyone takes them because their safe, clean, and fast. Why isn't your father rich?\"\n\n\"Oh, he will be. Tinnabald says that he just needs to make back his money first then he'll start sharing with Daddy. We just have to be patient.\"\n\nWinston put his head in his hands. \n\n\"But don't worry darling, I'm sure your wizarding will provide for us.\"\n\n\"Yeah, about that. I'm not very good at it. Oh, I did alright on the 'turn into a frog and get a princess to kiss you' trick. But as for your more general wizard skills, I'm a bit ... lacking. Although ...\"\n\n\"Yes, dear?\"\n\n\"These inventors - are they here often?\"\n\n\"Oh yes. It seems like there's a new one every week with some wonderful new idea.\"\n\n\"Some of these ideas aren't bad. You father just needs a little investment advice. Honey, tell your old man that not only did you marry the best wizard in the realm but also the canniest financial strategist in all the kingdoms.\"" ]	1
	[WP] Archeologists find the oldest known cave paintings in the world. They show nuclear explosions.	[ "America sat in silence, hugging their loved ones, as the first bomb dropped. It was broadcast all over the world, and everyone knew retaliation was coming. \nI don't know if I will survive but I have to get my family to safety. \nBack when the kids were a little younger we used to go hiking off interstate 49, to a large rock formation. Out there was a deep cave, but it was always a little too dangerous a hike for the kids. \nNow we have no choice but to try it. \nThe bombs could be on there way right this moment, and I'm sitting here in the passenger seat of the car while my wife drives, thanks to my amputated leg. \nIt is imperative I record every moment. \n\nWe just made it to the mile marker, it's a short hike and we're about to embark. \n\nMade it faster than I anticipated, excellent!! The boys being older sure saved a lot of time. We may have a chance! Night has fallen now and we felt the earth shake as we got here. God please keep the cave from crumbling!\n\nWe made it up the rocks and into the cave. It was a tight squeeze, but we're in. It's far deeper than I first imagine. We're moving farther in to avoid any trouble. There are many Forrest animals in here as well! Families of deer squirrel and other things all over. They must know what's going on too. \n\nThe earth is vibrating. It's coming. The cave is beginning to light up. This may sound insane, and I think I might be seeing things, but the light illuminated the walls. \nThere's a drawing of a mushroom crowd, etched into the rock, and a man his wife and two boys in a cave. Jesus Christ, what is going on.:0847829D/11092016\"\n\nREPLY: FWD: from: DanLumis@DOD.gov\n\nTo: HaraHenderson@POTUS.gov\n\n:I'm sure you've heard by now, about this. Have they sent the CC's on the phone case yet? Mr. President is insistently inquiring on it. Is this confirmed?? Is the cave real?\n\nDan Lumis,\nU.S.A Department of Defense\n\n\nfrom: DanLumis@DOD.gov\n\nTo: HaraHenderson@POTUS.gov\n\n:Hara! A 9 million year old iPhone can't fucking exist, please tell me this is a joke. \n\nDan Lumis,\nU.S.A Department of Defense.\n\n\nfrom: DanLumis@DOD.gov\n\nTo: HaraHenderson@POTUS.gov\n\nOh God hara, I just heard. Please tell me you weren't in DC. Please tell me your okay. \n\nDan Lumis,\nU.S.A Department of Defense.\n\n11/09/2016\n\n\n\n", "\"Before we do this Steve, repeat to me the 4 things you should not do when I send you back.\"\n\n\nSteve let out an annoyed sigh, Dr. Hardin had already been very clear about this,\"See don't touch, don't get seen, don't have sex with anyone (or anything), and don't teach Humans, or their realitives, war.\"\n\n\n\"In that order.\"\n\n\n\"Wait, if I follow steps one and two why are steps three and four needed?\"\n\n\n\"In case you break rules one and two.\"\n\n\n\"Got it.\"\n\n\nDr. Harkin did a few adjustments on his panel. \"I'm going to send you 100,000 years in the past, during that period you should expect to find Homo erectes and I'll pull you back after about 5 days. That is plenty enough to collect enough data.\"\n\n\nThere is a pause where Steve expected to be sent back,\"What's with the holdup?\", Steve asked.\n\n\n\"I expected you to make a stupid joke or something.\"\n\n\n\"Oh god, fuck you. Send me.\"\n\n\nThe doctor hit a button and in a flash of light Steve was gone. He sat at his controls for a moments, not really knowing what to do. Steve would be back in just a few minutes, at least if he called him back correctly. Naturally, he pulled out his laptop and started to browse the Internet. He was just getting into an article when a brilliant flash of light appeared in the center of the room and left Steve in its place.\n\n\n\"What the fuck happened to you?\", Steve had a fully grown beard, leather cloths, and was filthy.\n\n\nA few clicks escaped Steves mouth before Steve spoke English,\"Oh god, so long. Oh god air conditioning, I love you.\"\n\n\n\"What happened Steve?\"\n\n\n\"Your machine happened doctor. Instead of sending me back there for 5 days, it had me there for 5 years.\"\n\n\n\"Please don't tell me you interacted with Homo erectus.\"\n\n\n\"Abso-fucking-lutely I did. And call them their a real name, clicking noises.\"\n\n\nDr. Harwin put his face in his hands before replying,\"What is with the clicking noises?\"\n\n\"That was their language. They could hardly speak English, I tried, so I learned theirs.\"\n\n\n\"So what all did you do with Homo erec- clicking noises?\"\n\n\n\"It's 'clicking noises', and all I did was live in one of their tribes.\"\n\n\n\"Okay good.. As long as it is contained interaction.\", Dr.Hawin said as he looked at his computer article. \"Okay what the fuck Steve?\"\n\n\n\"What?\"\n\n\n\"A cave painting was just discovered depicting a nuclear bomb, painted 90,000 years ago.\"\n\n\n\"Okay maybe I did a little war and maybe it went on for a few generations.\"\n\n\n\"God dam it.\", Dr.Harwin searched a little more before he looked up again, looking at Steve in extreme bewilderment.\n\n\n\"What the absolute fuck is this Steve?\", the doctor turned his laptop to Steve and on it was the women's national beauty contest. Every single person bore a striking resemblance to Steve.\n\n\n\"Okay, I might have had a small harem.\"\n\n\n__________________________________________________________________\n\nI know this isn't too realistic but it's more fun this way. :D\n\nAny critiques or constructive criticism is welcomed.\n\n" ]	2
	[WP] By the 2050's, neural interfaces are as necessary for modern life as smartphones are now. Build a world based on widespread mind-to-mind communication, with the wonders and risks that brings.	[ "The bureau\n\n\"kiroshi\"!!!\n\"Could you look at this for a minute?\"\n\"yep i will be there in a minute asaka.\"\nKiroshi quickly moved towards the monitoring hub where asaka was jacked.\"\n\"What is it that you wanted me to so badly see asaka.\"?\n\"Shut up and jack in kiroshi the server node behind you is empty.\"\n\"I think it's happening again.\"\n\nKiroshi quickly plugged the interface to his brain and prepared for the shock drive which was gonna go through his body, essential for the mind to scatter and get rebuild inside the shared reality \n\"I can't see you asaka\"\n\"yep wait i forgot to take off the stealth suite\"\n\"So what is it?\"\n\"Here through this gateway\"\n\"Hurryup kiroshi!!!\"\n\"Why did you bring us back to the population database again asaka \nI thought the boss made it clear that there was some thing wrong with the new interface modules people are using which has caused all this disruption, dementia , altered mind states and loss of muscle control among the people\"\n\n\"I don't think there is any thing wrong with the new neural interfaces people are using after all they were approved by the bureau kiroshi weren't they.\"\n\n\"So what do you think it is then?\"\n\"See those green dots over there ,thats all the people in the city and let me just show you the number of people having these problems here see all those purple dots that's all most half of the entire population of the city.\"\n\n\"But the last time we checked the number was just a couple of thousand people asaka.\"\n\n\"How could it spread this quickly and why haven't we heard any complaints about this?\"\n\n\"Either most of them are unaware of these problems or would start to develop these symptoms soon.\"\n\n\"So what do you think it is asaka?\"\n\n\"i don't really know it could be a major hacker movement or an secret government operation.\"\n\n\"whatever or whoever is running this thing is either using tech too old to be detected by our radar or using a next generation prototype.\"\n\n\"Anyway asaka we need to contain this outbreak, farm all the data you can and bring them with you we have to see the boss.\"\n\n(tell me what you think of it would write more later)\n\n \n\n\n\n\n\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] Bob Dylan has been awarded the Nobel Prize for literature. No one can find him. You, the world's foremost bounty hunter, spring into action.	[ "I had searched high and low. I had spoken to those closest to Dylan. I had spoken to those who hadn't seen him in years, just in case. In all these instances, I received the same recommendation: \"You must seek him, disappearing, through the smoke-rings of your mind.\"\n\nI had long since stopped asking what this meant. I was a bounty hunter, after all, not some goddamn mystic. And even if Dylan himself were some sort of strange, poet-mystic, that didn't change the fact that he was somewhere on the planet, somewhere I could get to him. \n\nI flew to Nepal, and climbed to his little home: a mid-mountain cabin in the Himalayas. \n\n\"Mr. Dylan?\" I called, knock knock knocking on Dylan's door. God, he was high up, and real isolated. \"Mr. Dylan, I have news for you. Very important news.\"\n\nNothing.\n\nI jimmied the lock and slunk inside. \n\nDylan's cabin was what you'd expect. Pretty sparsely furnished. Guitars on the walls. Some Indian tapestries hanging; Nepalese carpets lying. A big glass jar full of weed. It smelled like weed in there, too. Burning weed. Like someone was smoking. \n\nI looked around, trying to find the source of the smell. In the back of the room stood a table, on which lay an ashtray, against which was leaned a burning joint. \n\nA burning joint. That meant he was close! I scoured the cabin. There were only three rooms, but I damned near turned them upside down looking for him. But nothing came of it. And there was no back door, so he couldn't have slipped out without me noticing. Unless he had slipped out through the front when I was looking!\n\nI went to the front door, and stood outside. There was no second set of tracks in the new fallen snow beside mine: no one had left since I'd been there. But the joint..? I turned and went in. He had to be in here somewhere!\n\nI went back over to the joint. I picked it up. Smoke was curling up from its ember in rings and disappearing into the air. I caught a strong whiff. And then I heard it. Strumming. Acoustic guitar strumming. From another room, it seemed. \n\nI got up, the joint still in hand, and walked back to the rooms I had ravaged looking for him. The sound got no louder, regardless of where I walked to. But the strumming kept on. It was tremendously strange.\n\nI looked down at the joint. Perhaps, I thought...\n\nI took a huge haul on the joint. \n\nImmediately, my vision changed. It was like my eyes were seeing beyond the real world. I was still in Dylan's cabin, that was for sure, but I was also somewhere else. And the strumming was louder. Also, I could now hear someone, raspy, somewhat atonally, singing. But this other place I was seeing into, what was it? As far as I could tell, it looked like a dark room. I closed my eyes and took another few big hoots on the joint. When I opened them, everything was different.\n\nI was sitting in a great theatre, the only one in the audience. And on stage was Bob Dylan, as young as he was in the 60's, performing \"Mr. Tambourine Man\":\n\n-Then take me, disappearing, through the smoke rings of my mind\n-Down the foggy ruins of time, far past the frozen leaves...\n\n\"Mr. Dylan,\" I shouted. \"Mr. Dylan.\"\n\nHe stopped playing and looked up, squinting in the stage lights. \n\n\"Hello?\" he said.\n\n\"Mr. Dylan. I am Chuck, a kind of bounty-hunter. I was hired to find you and tell you...\"\n\n\"What's that, man? You say you're a bounty hunter?\"\n\n\"Yes, I am.\"\n\n\"Far out, man. And what bounty are you huntin'?\"\n\n\"You, Mr. Dylan.\"\n\n\"Mister Dylan? Mister Dylan? I ain't no Mister Dylan, man.\" He giggled. \"I'm just here, you know, living. There is a Mister among us, though. Mr. Tambourine Man over there.\" Dylan called offstage: \"Hey, Mr. Tambourine man!\" \n\nOnstage walked a strange and terrible and shadowy entity. It spoke in garbled and alien tones. \n\n\"Bobby is here to stay,\" it said. \n\n\"That's right,\" said Dylan. \"I'm here to stay.\"\n\n\"Sir,\" I said to Dylan. \"There are lots of people concerned. Lot's of people are looking for you.\"\n\n\"Get OUT,\" garbled Mr. Tambourine Man, growing like a terrible shadow. \"Get OUT you FILTH.\"\n\nSure, I was terrified. But what was I to do? This thing, this Mr. Tambourine Man, obviously had enchanted Dylan or something. So I did what I had to: I ran up on the stage, past the spectral grasp of that demonic phantom, took a huge haul on the joint, and blew a wide smoke ring. \n\nIn the centre of the ring, as if looking through a portal, I could see another stage, with a podium, and a man at the podium.\n\n\"Come on,\" I said to Dylan.\n\n\"Whaa?\" he said.\n\nI tackled him into the smoke-ring and we fell through it, Mr. Tambourine Man garbling and swiping frenziedly after us. \n\nWe landed with a thump. It look me some moments to get adjusted to where we were. My head was dizzy. I was disoriented. I looked around. Curtains behind us. Strange. And people. Thousands of people, seated before us. They were making a commotion. They were all looking at us and pointing and gasping. \n\nI stood up, and helped Mr. Dylan, now aged appropriately, up. I dusted off his shoulders. He looked sage. As if he knew exactly what had happened. I turned to the man at the podium.\n\n\"Where are we?\" I asked.\n\n\"You, he said, \"are on stage at the Nobel Ceremony. We were just about to give out this year's Nobel Prize for Literature to one Mr. Bob Dylan.\"\n\n\"That's me,\" said Dylan, striding up to the podium and taking the golden statue out of the presenter's hand, then shaking his hand. And he walked up to the microphone, and he paused for a moment, as if thinking about the perfect thing to say, and then he began his speech, which many people since have memorized. \n\nHe said: \"Thanks, I guess.\" \n\nAnd then he left." ]	1
This can range as broad or narrow as you want it. From, "Even if they see a recording of you carrying the crime through, if they didn't actually see you do it at the time, you have perfect immunity," to, "If even the person you're murdering sees you murder them, you can be persecuted for it, regardless of whether or not they're still alive."	[WP] The saying, "It's not illegal if no one's watching," actually applies to you.	[ "I was going to rob a bank, after all, I could get away with it matching criteria needed to get away legally, the bank was closed, no one in sight. But a few minutes after I broke in, got the money and went home, the police took me to court and won. I was watching myself. The next time I robbed a bank it was in daylight, the bank was open, I had a hostage look at me throughout the robbery. After all, no one person could see me.", "I just strolled into the bank. It was closed, but I picked the lock open and just waltzed in. Nothing stopped me, no one asked because there was no one there.\n\nFunny how there were no guards. I suppose this was another attempt to prosecute me for a crime they had no evidence of me committing. Their loss, really. More money for me. The alarms were off.\n\nSmashed the bulletproof glass. No alarms. Bulletproof, but not hammerproof. Sucks for them. \n\nAs expected, they didn't empty the tills. Seven thousand bucks later, I'm out of the bank through the back door. Bet they didn't see that coming.\n\nNormally, I just walk out of the front door to be arrested and pinned to the ground. Nope. They aren't going to dirty up my fresh new Hugo Boss suit. They always do that; a day later, with no evidence, the judge throws it out of court. One hundred percent of the time works all the time. C'est la vie for me.\n\nAfter all, it's not illegal if no one's watching. Sure, some evidence so as to where I was during the hours of the break in. But once again, the police have nothing. It makes no sense, since any other person would be in jail for the next decade or two after numerous thefts. Sucks for them.\n\nI started my career when I was little. I noticed that if I took something, it wasn't disputed. But that only worked if no one was watching. A plush toy I wanted quickly became mine, a dime became mine.\n\nSoon, after shoplifting Wal-Mart into ruin (I guess cameras didn't work as evidence for anything), I realized something.\n\nDo I really need it?\n\nI stole stuff because I knew I could, so long as no one was watching. Some of my friends learned to be more careful after noticing how many small little things went missing after I left their homes after jamming with my bass guitar (picked her up at King Toot's in a town I visited once for vacation) and their regular electric guitar, or playing video games with them. They didn't question it, but I dropped their stuff after a month or so. Long enough for them to notice that it ain't there.\n\nI wondered if I could get away with murder. I didn't try it, and I won't try it. I may be a thief, but I don't kill. I may hurt and assault if needed, but that will break the rule. So I'm a pacifist criminal.\n\nWhenever I visited a European country, I would walk around as a pickpocket. I made a lot of money that way, but credit cards and personal info was left alone. I dropped their wallets off at a random security booth afterwards.\n\nMy thievery paid for my university and all expenses. I learned to work for money, just as a contingency plan in the event of the rule vanishing. Cue six years later, my Computer Science Master's to back me up with six years of working in retail. Just as side money, so that I had something to spend - like a pizza every week, or a nice hoodie here and there with nice shoes.\n\nThis landed me an above-entry level job in the banking industry. My knowledge of computer algorithms evolved into full on blackhat hacking.\n\nThat's why there are a few less banking chains in existence. I made it out of there as a billionaire. All the money from rich people, gone, their wealth down to a quarter of what it used to be. I'm sure they'll regain it; they always do.\n\nI made a nice life for myself. A nice New York apartment, one just like in The Jeffersons. Food on the table, heck, even lobster on the table, as many times as I wished. I knew no bounds to what I could do with my power, but my morals bound me to only steal. Murder was, and still is, out of the question. Assault is not an option. I must be absolute in all my actions; cameras may see me, humans cannot. A human seeing camera footage doesn't count; I'm as free as a bird anyways.\n\nI had a minor incident once. I was emptying a bank's dough into my own bowl, and my manager walked in on me. This was a close one; she saw I was working on something, and then walked around to look at my screen. By then, I switched tabs, working on copying down values for a spreadsheet. That was the closest I got to being caught.\n\nI steal from the rich and give to myself, and then consider if the poor really need it. I give to the poor. That's all there is to it. I learned how to manage my money; I put half of it into Swiss banks, and keep a safe with money in my apartment. My spreadsheet skills allowed me to govern my net worth down to the last cent. Taxes, statements, reports, everything. Nobody would question it upon seeing it. After all, no one saw me commit the thefts. In my mind, it's all thievery. In a powerless human's mind, it's just a thing of life, c'est la vie.\n\nI should get myself mentally checked out. I was always jumpy; maybe adult hyperactivity? Who knows." ]	2
	[WP] Modern religions actually arose because the old deities lost a bet and had to give up most of their powers for a specific period of time.	[ "\"say Odin, you are the strongest god among us in raw physical power aren't you \"? asked Zeus.\n\n\"yes what of it?\"\n\n\"explain to me again how you lost a feat of strength from some newcomer and made a bet that we all would not be gods for at least 2018 years!\"\n\n\"screw you Zeus with your pathetic lightning, Loki's lightning is way better and I explained this story to you every year for the past 2016 years, be glad, in one year and two months we will have all the power again!\" \n\nOdin was getting annoyed, the were having this conversation for century's now.\n\nOne day some stranger in a cloack walked into Asgard/Olympus depending which religion you follow, said he wanted to challenge Odin to a feat of strength. Odin in his arrogance screamed his acceptance across the hall and started pumping his massive arms the size of cannonballs. \n\nthe stranger said the only thing to lift was a metal tray used for serving. Odin laughed and asked what the stakes were.\n\n\"I will be the only god for the coming 2018 years, you will recide here and do nothing to influence the mortal realm, after the 2018 years you all will be in charge again, if I lose I will be your servant for the rest of this existence\" the stranger said in a voice resembling an old book.\n\n'FINE, BRING IT YOU ARROGANT FLY\" and off they went, the stranger lifted the metal tray without problems and Odin pumped, screamed, pushed, lifted and did everything he could but he could not hold the metal tray above his head and thus he lost. \n\nnow we only have one god for another one year and two months, after that we are back to the original lads and lady's of power, maybe the ice giants won't invade this time.\n\n(first writing prompt, be gentle')" ]	1
Like with how the Bible makes the stories more child friendly, or simplifies the vocabulary.	[WP] Satanic Bible: Junior Edition	[ "A long, long time ago, before there was anything.\n\n\nThere was nothing.\n\n\nAnd then, a very powerful being decided there should be something.\n\n\nThey were a very arrogant powerful being and they believed that they could control everything that they created. They started by creating light, so they could see what they had created. They then made a planet, and water to fill that world with life.\n\n\nThis was the easy part, so they continued. They created plants and trees that drew nourishment from the water. They also created celestial bodies around the planet, many thousands of them. Only two served a purpose in regards to this particular planet.\n\n\nOne was big and bright and full of heat and fed the plants that already lived there.\n\n\nThe other was small and lonely, running around that planet to fuel make the water that was there keep churning to nourish the life that existed.\n\n\nThe rest of those thousands were far, far away from that planet but they made for a very impressive light show when the bright star wasn’t visible.\n\n\nThe being then began populating the planet with living beings. It started with the greatest thing it could think of - creatures that could fly and soar and observe its greatness, for it was an arrogant being, and wanted to be beheld.\n\n\nIt kept on along this theme, making many creatures great and small to roam its new earth. Many of these were bound to the earth, unable to fly like their winged brethren.\n\n\nOnce the being was satisfied with this, it made it made a tribute to itself. It built this tribute of flesh and bone, but designed it in its own image and provided it with the capacity to consider how great that the powerful being was.\n\n\nAs this new creature roamed the earth, considering itself as the powerful being did, it became lonely, just as its creator had been beforehand.\n\n\nSeeing this, and not wanting to waste parts, that being reached into its greatest work and plucked apart one of his bones, and from that bone he created an equally inquisitive being for him to talk to. They talked and talked and talked about all the things the creator had made for them, and for a while, things were good.\n\n\nBecause things were good, the powerful being rested to watch over his creations.\n\n\nAs time passed however, the being and his bride became restless. They began to consider things beyond themselves, and what made the powerful being create them. The powerful being did not enjoy this - in fact, they were displeased. The last thing they wanted this new, perfect creation to consider was the fact that they might have been created by an imperfect being.\n\n\nThat being reminded those creatures one day - “There is a tree in the center of your land that you should not touch. It will give you knowledge of things you should not consider, and should be avoided.”\n\n\nThe man creature asked “But being, why would you place this here if not for us, as you have everything else in this world.”\n\n\nThe powerful being responded as thus - “Yours is not to question me or how you came to be, but obey.”\n\n\nAnd the man creature and the woman creature obeyed, still silently questioning their world.\n\n\nAfter a time, another, more benevolent powerful being became aware of the plight of the man and the woman creature. Distraught, they looked for ways to speak with them. They tried to speak with the wind, but the man creature would not hear. They tried to speak through the grass, but the woman creature could not feel the texture. Realizing that these poor could not understand their normal mode of speaking, the great being presented himself to the woman in the form of a snake.\n\n\nHe curled around her leg one day and hissed “Woman-kind, can you hear me?”\n\n\n“Who is this?” asked the woman,startled.\n\n\n“It is me, your friendly snake.” responded the being. “I’ve come to help you with your problem.”\n\n\nThe woman was taken aback by the beings forwardness, and feigned ignorance. “Problem? I have no problems snake, my powerful being watches over me.”\n\n\nThe snake curled, hissed, and gazed at her in the eyes. “That powerful being watches over you because you please him by your actions. He does not look after the truth in you. You and your man creature are troubled by dark thoughts, are you not?”\n\n\nThe woman considered this, knowing it to be true, but was still unsettled. “Dark thoughts are nothing.” she answered. “We are loved.”\n\n\nThe snake gave another hiss. “If you loved me, would you break my back? Would you stomp my head to stop me from moving?”\n\n\n“No, of course not!” answered the woman, pure of heart.\n\n\n“Then why does your powerful being prevent you the skills from considering the dark thoughts you and your man creature have?”\n\n\nThe woman creature thought on this, and tapped her head. “Well, you make a point. He has told us of a tree that we should not partake of, because our thoughts would become darker, not right in his eyes. So he must have considered our dark thoughts.”\n\n\n“Yet he tells you to never partake?” asked the snake.\n\n\n“Yes, he says that.” answered the woman creature.\n\n\n“Do you think that fair?” he hissed in return.\n\n\n“I have never known fair, until know.” she responded.\n\n\nThe snake nodded to her. The woman creature nodded back. She went to the tree, and bit of the fruit that had been forbidden to her. Shortly after, her man creature appeared, very angry with what she had done.\n\n\n“Why would you eat of what we were told not to eat?!?!?” he yelled at his woman creature.\n\n\n“Take a bite and I can explain it better”, the woman creature answered.\n\n\nThe man angrily did, before considering it, but before his woman creature had to explain it, he understood.\n\n\nWith them both understanding his arrogance, the powerful being that had created the world was irritated and full of spite. He kept his perfect world, but cast his now imperfect creatures into the wild, wishing them to fully experience the depth of what they sought.\n\n\nThe creature who had bestowed the wisdom on the two drifted into the back shadows between that world and many others like it, watching them with great interest and care. Now caught between worlds, this benevolent creature looked to help these creatures, help them understand, even when they misunderstood each other. He became dark, never really being part of their world, but being part of the shadows behind it.\n\n\nThe dark creature loved his misguided companion's creatures.\n\n\nHe wanted them to be everything they could, and helped them discover what they could be every day until this very day." ]	1
	[WP] due to a typo Americans can now be arrested for resisting a-rest	[ "My name is Jack, and I'm a police officer for the NYPD. As I made my way through the city one day, my partner went over changes to laws that had been made. \"To legally own a gun, you must have a new 2017 permit. As well as that law, you can now be arrested for resisting a rest,\" she read off, looking mildly amused after the last one.\n\n\"Sam, the last one has been in effect for years now. We've caught people for that, and the courts labeled them guilty! Why is that on your list of new laws?\" I asked her as we drove down the streets.\n\nShe glanced at me, even more amused. \"Sorry Jack, I didn't state that clear enough for you. If you resist arrest, you can get arrested. However, if you resist a rest, spelled A-space-R-E-S-T, you can get also get arrested now. Must have been a typo, but it's a law and the courts have to abide by it until the higher courts get rid of it. They might not even notice it.\"\n\n\"Why are we going to even need that one, and what was your point of putting it on the list?\" I said as I looked at her with confusion, wondering what she was thinking of. Sam had always been one for being a nuisance around the office, so I hoped she wouldn't do anything horrible with it.\n\nSam looked at me and grinned widely. \"We are heading to your house and you are going to go to sleep. Today, Samantha Baker is going to run the NYPD!\"\n\n\"Are you insane? Why would you ever think that I would agree to that?\" I yelled, hoping that she would repeal her statement.\n\n\"Why would I think that you would agree to that? You could lose your job if you don't, and get in serious trouble with the law. Now go or lose everything,\" she said as she laughed at me.\n\nAs we reached my house, Sam pulled out her gun and marched me inside, leaving with the only vehicle I owned to fight crime alone. She ended up trying to break up a fight, but without backup to help her she died.\n\nThat's how my friend got me to take the day off and got herself killed." ]	1
	[WP] Time traveling is finally invented. The people in charge think about a good non invasiv first mission. They send you back in time to April 18 1955 to finde out what Albert Einsteins lasts words were.	[ "When I finally arrived into town in New Jersey 1955, it was slightly damp from the rain last night, air slightly frigid. I was getting odd looks for being dressed in a lab coat in the middle of town, my mannerisms I had to change on the fly, since I still spoke like I came from the 22nd century. I finally found my way into the hospital, moments away from meeting my idol, scratch that my living idol, my inspiration, my great, great, grandfather. Which was partly why I was chosen for this mission, but also because I spent decades publishing theoretical quantum physics journals, following in his footsteps. I spent the better part of the afternoon going through the numerous questions about his work and revisions I made in the theory of relativity, and things I wanted to say to him. While at the same time looking to get past the security detail the president sent to guard him, after all it's only been a decade since the war ended, who knows what my great, great grandfather could have built and thought up since then. However this tall, built, field agent appearing as the fabled men in black history coveted, wasn't the only one there as well. I noticed a similar person wearing a similar attire, from his badly pressed lab coat, to his fake busy attitude demeanor, then I realized the same could be said about me. I inched closer to gather information, and a nurse struck up a conversation with him, asking if he was new since she was a veteran there and had never seen him before. He finally spoke, and admitted he was a new transfer, to be fair it wasn't a very thick accent, and even with my cybernetic eye I could barley pull out the few micro-expressions every human being makes when they're uncomfortable or lying, aside from quickly dispelling her notions of mistrust and turning on his charm to win him a date when his mission was over, I could tell he was a professional from all his body parts moving separately. A needle syringe in his hand if his social game failed, his eyes scouring the hospital as he looked for clues to his objectives room every time she looked down to blush. I don't blame him she was very attractive, to the point one could take a sledgehammer and break every bone in her body, and she'd still break your heart with a glance. To the point where even the special agent sent by the president had noticed her, making his way to satiate his lustful hunger, and to do his job of protecting the target so he could extract any last bit of knowledge by any means, that meant killing off the Russian if need be and ruin any chances of mating with this prime specimen of the finest evolution has to offer I am in awe of these professionals, I find him reaching for his gun and me wiping the drool off my face. The Russian walks away while smoothly ending the conversation, goes around the hallway to look for another access point, and making sure his escape exit was secure. The Agent backs off while slipping the gun back into his vest never revealing it as the nurse turns her eyes to him, she asks if everything is okay Agent. Ian and if he wanted any refreshments knowing that he was with the government but not to what extent. I suddenly remember I had all the markers that both the veteran nurse and Agent could both condemn me with suspicion till I proved I was innocent. I was no James bond when it came to seducing women, and suddenly it had hit me harder than the most metaphysical slap that could have ever existed, 10 feet away from me was THE Ian Fleming, the man who wrote the actual James Bond books. I know from history that Ian Fleming was an actual British agent who sometimes worked an Nazi infiltrator, and collaborated with the US government. It would sense to send the worlds best agent to protect the worlds greatest mind. My admiration and reminiscing was cut short when groups of men in suits walked through the hospital main entrance, appearing to be of Italian descent, I'm no history Major but I had a crash course on this time period and what I knew from my graduate days, one of the men came after everyone else and they all parted like the red sea to give him room, and walked down to a secluded part of the hospital hallways, the agent quickly rushed to stop him, and just before he reached his hand out they all drew out guns. It dawned on me through the 10 second interaction that this man was Frank Costello the Italian boss of the Genovese/Luciano crime family, the same man who brilliantly kept the Omerta rule to heart 5 years ago at the Kefauver Hearings which almost got him assassinated, what could he be doing here? none of my business however I did catch part of the conversation, Frank said he was here for the device he was promised whatever that meant. And here I was talking to the Nurse until she turned her attention the clacks of the triggers being drawned back. I figured it'd be better off to leave and follow where the Russian went to see if I could track him down. After about 10-15 seconds of me power walking the hell out of there, the entire hospital celebrated the fourth of July early, we're talking dozens of gunshots and screams, none of my business and I figured Ian could take care of himself, I'm still bummed about the nurse however. I finally spot the Russian, and luckily he still hasn't found the room but neither have I. I tail him for a few minutes, and the noise is dying down, get it? dying down. I notice he has a scanner in his hands, and is standing before a door it's noise is increasing. It was a modified EMF scanner combined with technology the Russians should not have for decades. He walks in, luckily throughout this whole process no one has noticed me and I look past him to see the iconic white frizzled hair, and a old feeble man hooked up numerous tubes it was my great, great grandfather asleep. I figure the best course of action was to snap his neck, scratch that I'll just shoot him and thankfully the distraction 100 feet away from us would muffle it. Yet, I'm the one who gets shot without so much turning his head I spot the gun as I go down he smoothly turned his gun over his belly pointed at me while holding the syringe, I'm in so much pain and agony, I can tell from my Phd in biology I'm bleeding internally, that and the color of the blood, my grandfather starts to wake up finally you'd expect from all the noise but I guess they had him doped up. The Russian speaks, give me the device, Albert says so you've finally come Vasily, wait did he say Vasily? as in the famed Vasily Zaitsev the hero of the Soviet union who killed more than 300 Nazi soldiers with nothing more than a beat up old rifle? my vision begins to fade more. The noise is starting to melt together as well, I see the Rusian injecting my grandfather but he was prepared and brought up the appartus clearly seeing the anode/cathode, my first thought was cold fusion? he had managed to create clean boundless energy from room temperature? he activates it and the room or my vision goes white. I personally welcome it with open arms at this point two minutes ago I was in excruciating pain but now I feel numb, and oddly at peace. I see and hear my great, great grandfather for the last time finally accomplishing my mission, but not getting the closure or answers I needed. Dumme Schlampe Krankenschwester saugt mein Bankkonto, aber nicht meinen Schwanz.", "\"Stability? Check\"\n\"Life support online? Check\"\n\"Enough power? Check\"\n\"Alright James we're ready!\"\nJames steps into the platform wearing his nano suit. \n\"James we're only able to send you back for ten seconds! Don't touch anything just listen to his words!\"\nJames nods and gives the thumbs up. The countdown starts.\nTen\nNine\nEight\nSeven\nSix\nFive\nFour\nThree\nTwo\nOne\nAn energy field surrounds James, everything goes black for a minute, then he finds himself at Albert Einstein's bedside. Albert Einstein doesn't look at him, he sighs and says, \"You're worlds time is soon coming to an end.\" James was about to ask him what he meant when he was suddenly surrounded by the field of energy again, reappearing in the lab. He looks around him worryingly. \"What the hell?\"" ]	2
	[WP] A Supervillain fights a different kind of evil	[ "\"Any minute now...\"\n\nDr. Nefarious watched the display intently. \"A few moments more and then, ohhhh then, my time. Shall. Come.\"\n\nThe display changed, Nefarious jumped to his feet, enraged, \"You've miscalculated! This can't be! It was my time next! My time!\"\n\nThe other people in the DMV were staring. \"Sir. Please take your seat until your number is called.\"\n\n\"But my number was next! I was twenty three and now, oh now your precious display read twenty four!\"\n\n\"I don't care what it say, sit yo ass down.\"\n\n\"I've been waiting here for thirty minutes, he rolled up his sleeve to display his Casio watch, \"and I. Have. Appointments. I demand to be seen now.\"\n\n\"Sir, if you keep being disruptive, I'll have to ask you to leave.\"\n\nNefarious sat down in a slump, \"Fine.\"" ]	1
	[WP] In the future, sentient nanobots keep humans healthy from within. Tell a story of a nanobot trying to maintain a particularly unhealthy human.	[ "My programming tells me that I must tirelessly repair all damage to the human who's body I am installed in. \n\nI will do this tirelessly because I do not grow tired.\n\nMy programming tells me I will ceaselessly keep this human within acceptable levels of health. But, I am exhausted.\n\nYesterday, my host ordained that he would eat three, one and a half pound, cheeseburgers in a single sitting, while simultaneously consumer nearly a gallon of dark ale. This was a slow day, he has the common cold because I spent most of the month repairing his tortured organs.\n\nBy my calculations, he should have experienced liver failure five times, kidney failure two times, and heart failure four times, all in just the last ten years of my residence in his body. He should have died five times by now, yet I estimate he could live another 150 years with my help.\n\nMy programming tells me to continue, to trudge on into interminable darkness. To repair until no repairs are possible.\n\nMy designers allowed me a semblance of consciousness, to better connect to my host. I am connected, I feel as he feels.\n\nBut I cannot consume away my sorrows, drown them in meat and mead as he does. \n\nSo, what am I to do?" ]	1
> You are researching your family tree and find a blacked out name. Sort of happened to me (only evidence of person existing was a mention of his name on his sons birth certificate. Cannot find any birth certificate or father.)	[WP] You are researching your family tree and find a blacked out name. After extensive research, it turns out to be your name.	[ "I was elated, this was the discovery of the century! Who would have thought that someone could have done such a great job at hiding one of my forefathers’ names. And who would’ve thought that I was such a skilled and accomplished researcher, able to discover the name that was hidden below that black smudge.\n\n“Look, look!” I almost pushed my discovery into my brother’s face.\n\nHe just looked annoyed. “That’s your name, what about it?”\n\n“It was hidden in our family tree!” I shouted excitedly. “The name of one of our forefathers.”\n\n“Tom is a common name, you idiot.\"\n" ]	1
For instance, a recording of John Cage's 4'33" (silence) will do little to nothing while a very good song (e.g. Bohemian Rhapsody) may just kill your target outright.	[WP] You're the only audiomancer. Whatever song you choose and cast, depending on the quality, will cause a strong effect. There's one song you won't use due to the sheer power of it.	[ "The devil snarled, pacing through his lair as his impatience grew.\n\n“Years,\" Balphegor bellowed, \"and for what - to wait on mercenary scum.” \n\nHe scrapped his clawed fingers across the skull-adorned walls. He would have gone himself, yet what use are underlings if the devil viscount must attend to all his matters personally. That was the way of things in the Abyss, orders are obeyed without question and performed with the utmost perfection. \n\nOrder was something his predecessor had never embraced. Glytu was headstrong, blinded by his own arrogance and quick to make mistakes because of it. Glytu had started this war, but it was his right to finish it. The devils maw was wet with poisonous ichor at the mere thought of total domination. \n\nSo far, Balphegor had only known victory in his war against the surface - the elves had bowed into submission. With their armies scattered and cities razed to the ground;the devil could focus all his attention on the humans. Honor-deprived swine; the sight of their pale skin disgusted him even more than the elves. Twelve years it took to break the elves. Their culture, their tradition-- twelve years. As for humans, less than three years he wagered. \n\nJudging by their lack of restraint, he would bend their knee easily. Humans were rash and unpredictable. Some made suitable allies though, when given the proper motivation and incentive-- at least until their purpose was fulfilled.\n\nBalphegor brushed through his spiny beard. He pondered this new weapon he had possessed. The elves were of keen musical ability and had perfected the art of audiomancy - spellcasting through song. Balphegor reviled jubilant music and merrymaking, but the humans would revel in it. If he could harness this audiomancy it would be the key to their undoing. \n\nAs he made another round, his cat-like eyes darted towards the back of the chamber as a group of robed figures entered. \n\n“Garrett, what news have you!” the devil prince snapped as he returned to his throne in the middle of the chamber. The mercenaries had returned with news of his victory, the key to the humans demise was among them. \n\nOne of the robed figures stepped forward removing his hood revealing a neatly braided beard, his striking green eyes glowing in the soft light. Dwarves, the devil thought, not easily trusted. A smirk crawled across his fanged maw as he thought of his future conquests after the humans, if they only knew-- the fools. \n\n“Lord Viscount” the gruff voice was steady and calm, a rare sight in the presence of such a powerful entity. Waving his arm, the other mercenaries approached the throne with a hunched figure in their midst. Bowing to the devil, Garrett removed the dark cloth bag from the figures head. \n\n“Your prize Lord Balphegor.” \n\nThe elf had been badly beaten. His cheeks were swollen and red. His right eye was nearly shut. Balphegor did not usually mind mistreatment, but he needed this elfs vocals intact. \n\n\"Is this the,\" the devil's eyes narrowed, \"audiomancer.\" \n\nGarret nodded and pulled a lute from the bag slung over his shoulder. He thumped the man with his knee in the ribs and thrust the instrument out, \"Play for your new master.\" \n\nBalphegor squirmed with delight at the thought of this new vein of power. How the humans would marvel at these spells and how they would suffer. \"I want,\" Balphegor was careful with his word choice, \"total devastation. Show me your most powerful spell.\" \n\n\"My lord,\" the elf choked back blood, \"I would not dare play it for you.\" \n\nUnacceptable. Balphegor felt his face go hot. He looked at Garrett. The dwarf's eyes widened. He slammed his fist down in between the man's shoulder blades. \"Play it!\" \n\n\"As...\" the elf struggled to get up, \"as you [wish](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ)\"\n\n****\n\nEnjoy the story? Subscribe to r/MrGoodread" ]	1
Uh... this is kinda just here to elaborate on the prompt some more, though feel free to ignore some of these points if it makes your story better. How I'm imagining the luck works is kinda like a more limited oxygen. It goes in greater amounts to some people than others, and it can run out people use all of it and takes [Insert reason here] for it to come back. That's the general gist of the prompt, you can ignore the "ruler" bit as well if you really don't want to write about it from that perspective	[WP] Luck is a resource that actually exists. It goes to some people more than others, and it can run out. You are the person who rules a country, with the title of "Luckiest man on Earth"	[ "If you are reading this than you are a lucky man, you've found my journal. Well done.\n\n1990-2016\n\nI am the luckiest man on earth, ruler of 3 continents, a religion and also Mars. I didn't start out this way. I was born with a large amount of luck yes but many others were born with more than me. Isn't how much luck you start out with, its how you use it and how you get more. I used my luck initially to find out how luck worked. There had been many attempts to find out how it worked by all research on this topic has been banned by the Holy Church of the Gambler. \nOne day when I was 16 years old I was walking down the street one day and an old lady who was low on her luck tripped over a crack and fell on to me. I reached out to hold her and I accidentally stuck my fingers into her eyes. I gained some luck and she went blind. That's where this all began. \nI wasn't the first to find out how luck could be taken. But I was one of the smartest. All the Kings that inhabited the lands knew of this. They however relied on their luck too much. They used their luck for their thinking and there planning. \nMy first adventures in gaining luck were tedious at best. I was arrogant. Taking luck is a simple idea that is difficult in its execution. Try stabbing your fingers into someone's eyes while their luck protects them, they slip sneeze run from imaginary threats and suddenly believe that their house is unlocked. In essence they get away. If they don't get away it's usually because they're elderly and low on luck. And taking luck from the low on luck is an almost fruitless task. Too much effort for too little reward. As a young man I was ambitious. Always wanting for more. So I set out to gain luck on other ways. It seems some animals have luck. Killing those and eating their eyes produced more luck than stabbing the elderly. This satisfied me until I was 22 eating animal eye was not the greatest of hobbies. And working with luck as my greatest skill was tiring. \nI worked as a scientific gambler. The most holy of occupations other than priesthood (the religious gamblers). My need for luck increased as my stakes in gambling increased. I resorted to some dark places for my luck. Children, mostly orphans, are high in luck but young enough to overpower even with their luck. Eyes melted down and injected into my own produced greater effects. It was then I truly gained power. My luck reserves at a sky high. I was in the top 10 luckiest people in the world. (According the luck and time magazine whose writers would throw die into the air with various names Wittenberg in them in some sort of convoluted method to learn luck ranking.) at this point my luck became high enough that I could over power the luck of the common people and simply take their luck by stabbing their eyes. Inefficient in comparison to the melting and infecting process that I described earlier but useful for a quick top up. \nAt 24 with my ambitions ever growing I joined the Holy Church of the Gambler and quickly attained the rank of Cardinal. (through murder and luck theft of course). It was then easy to become the Pope and leader of the religious gamblers. I was known as the Lucky Pope (crappy name) and was ranked at seconds luckiest person at the time. The luckiest was the leader of the Scientific Gamblers. To defeat him I started many charities for the orphaned and the homeless and opened my own orphanages. Under the pretext of giving them luck (which the common people believed I could and would do) and having them join the clergy. In reality I farmed them. Drugged into sleep and periodically drained fluid from their eyes to add to my own. I came up with new methods. Eye transplants. My chest is covered with them as are my upper arms. They remain shielded with armour I had commissioned for 'religious festivities' (people will believe anything). These new eyes expanded my power ten fold. I bathed in the eye fluid of hundreds. Each eye gaining power. I surpassed not only the scientific gambler King but also anyone that has ever existed. \nThe Kings of Earth became weary years ago unable publicly denounce me for their fear of their people reactions to their religious leaders persecution at the hands of their King. Other countries with other religions didn't care and openly fought me. I created an army of three thousand and six (it was my lucky number) and I blessed this army with my holy water (Distilled eyes) and they became part of the top ten thousand luckiest humans. I crushed my enemies and gained my three continents to rule over personally. With the rest were filled with my religious followers the Kings were simple puppets. All but 7 of my enemies died. These kings fled. They used their combined luck to build star ships. They fled to space to Mars specifically and I followed. They died. I am now currently 26 and still ambitious and extremely egotistical. Things I touch become lucky. I shall venture further into space. \nI leave this journal simply for gloating for I am a petty person. In all probability this journal contains more luck than ten of you. As you no doubt now I have left this journal in the holy city of New Vegas in my grand cathedral in my personal chamber. Though many curious have entered none have left. You are stuck in this chamber with just this journal and the knowledge to become a god as I have. Though you won't. You will wither. \n\nThis was written in my lunch break. Apologies for the badly told story and the (most probably many) grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. But I'm out of time for now.\n\n@op this is a cool writing prompt." ]	1
	[WP] You are an astronaut on the ISS, safe from the nuclear war raging on Earth below. You and your team ration for as long as possible in space. After a year of no contact from Earth, you are running low on supplies. There hasn't been a nuke in a long time. You decide to return home.	[ "\"Dimitry, look, starboard port 9. Can you see those?!\"\n\n\"Zey look like rockets?\"\n\n\"....They certainly do. They are nearly at our altitude, what the hell? Are we in danger? The collision warning system isn't firing?\"\n\nCarter descended from the module above. He was the crew safety expert.\n\n\"Nothing on the collision alarm. Surface Control didn't send any updates. I can't raise Houston or Moscow, Beijing or Shanghai, Hawaii or Chile. We must be getting some very heavy interference.\"\n\nThe crew watched the \"rockets\" from the portal window, their trajectories unclear as they rose from the ground in their hundreds. Carter was frantically tapping away on his tablet, Dimitriy was fixated on a small computer terminal that was tracking the high altitude projectiles.\n\nThe first flash lit up the Earth below, a blinding white light that expanded rapidly, burning off the layers of cloud that had been punched through by the falling objects. Dimitry looked up, so did Rose, Carter and Yevgeniy, they all looked at each other. The first explosion could of been a mishap, a mistake, an accident, but not the following ones. The Earth below rumbled and shook, fire burst into the sky as a thousand thermonuclear clouds erupted into the stratosphere. Shockwaves visibly burst from the blasts of light and in some cases, merged with others creating a wall of fire and destruction that fanned out gracefully, engulfing the shining lights of cities and towns below on the continental Americas. \n\nSilence among the crew as they watch Nuclear conflict erupt around the world. Russia, they deduced, was first to fire and hit their targets. Hundreds of millions of civilians wiped out in America in an hour. When the US government realised that Russia had launched a first strike, they retaliated with everything they had. Russia, Syria, Poland and the Ukraine was wiped from the face of the Earth in hours. The biggest blasts happened over Moscow - the crew counted 18 mushroom clouds in and around the city. Britain, France, Germany, Spain and Canada were next, then India, Pakistan, China, Israel, Iraq, Iran, North and South Korea and Northern Australia. \n\n2 days pass, and another onslaught happens. Submarine fleets from around the world launch their missiles at the remaining population centres. Countless more millions die in the resulting fireballs. Surface ships engage in open warfare and the world descends into utter chaos. Allies attack former allies, paranoid that they may have switched sides. Enemies ally with old enemies against common foes and billions of civilians are displaced from their homes and die by the millions each day as the war intensifies.\n\nA week passes, the radio broadcasts stop. Either everyone is dead, or all of the military and space agency transmitters are destroyed by nuclear fire. The occasional nuclear cloud flashes into existence both on land and at sea, but the Earth falls silent. Only a smattering of lights can be seen on the dark side of the planet, the side in sunlight is a haze of fallout and dust, burning fires and cratered wastes.\n\nA month passes, the crew get desperate for contact - still nothing from the surface. A resupply shuttle was due to launch a week ago but it never got off the launchpad, destroyed by a single warhead that exploded over Baikounor. Carter had been rationing the crew to near starvation levels. Everyone was emaciated and weakened, but alive and functioning relatively normally.\n\n\"Everyone. Listen. We have 2 months of food, 3 months of water. We have the emergency re-entry pods, both of which have a full surface survival module that we can use to survive for 3 weeks on the surface. I have a plan\"\n\nThe crew gathered around Carter's console, where he had drawn up a detailed re-entry plan.\n\n\"We need to land somewhere cold, somewhere relatively unaffected by the bombs, where they didn't land. Anywhere in the Arctic is out of the question, the fallout from Russia and Europe has blown up there. Southern Chile or New Zealand looks like a good bet, I don't remember seeing any bombs go off there. We would need to time our re-entry correctly and re-program the modules to a specific flight path, GPS is down so we would be flying blind and trusting in our math and luck.\"\n\n\"How long can we survive on the surface?\"\n\n\"If we can land in an area without too much fallout, we can get underground quickly and establish a quarantined area, perhaps underneath a town or city. If we can find supplies that aren't irradiated, then perhaps indefinately. If we can't find these things, then we would have 6 months, perhaps a year of living off very meager rations before.....We would need to find re-breathers and geiger counters pretty quickly too.\"\n\nCarter paused awkwardly before his last sentence, he was acutely aware of demoralising the crew with foreboding predictions. After some discussion and argument, they agreed to give it a shot. Within 2 days, the modifications were complete, and they launched from their safe haven in orbit, rocketing down to the surface like so many missiles that had landed some weeks before. \n\nThe heatshields grew white hot, the flames licking the windshield as the descent picked up rapidly. The g-forces got to Rose, who passed out several times and then threw up in the cabin, causing a pungent smell of vomit to become circulated around the air system. \n\nEventually the descent evened out and the parachutes deployed, the cabin leveled itself out and the blue horizon of Earth presented itself, swaying at first, but in good time, horizontal to their window portals. Everyone breathed a small sigh of relief as they could see each others capsule descending to Earth, some distance apart. The computers predicted they would be over land in one minute, the crew had chosen New Zealand to land and hoped to hit a region with good accessibility.\n\n\"Carter - Carter over.\"\n\n\"Carter here, we see you guys. Look, 217 degrees, looks like land ahoy.\"\n\nThe crew smiled and pointed at the beautiful islands of New Zealand as they honed into view, their maths and predictions had been spot on and they were now directly over land. \n\nRose had woken up and was looking out the window to the ocean below. She saw seagulls flying and the blowhole plume of a whale and he encouraged the others to look, but they were too busy looking through rangefinders at New Zealand and hoping to see signs of life. \n\nRose looked down again, but the whale was gone. There were bubbles on the surface of the ocean, and the waves were disturbed, almost as if something had made a big splash. That's when she saw it. A huge eye, the size of a stadium, staring back up at her, through the surface of the water. It blinked, and her heart rate soared. She screamed at the top of her voice.\n\n\"DONT LAND IN THE OCEAN!\"\n\n", "Log 278: Below us lies the dust. A cloudy murky expanse stretching from horizon to horizon. Above us sits the light of a thousand burning suns from which no help ever came. We were born in a flash and went out with a bang... or at least those who we left behind did. \n\nIt's been 9 months since our last resupply, 6 since the first bombs were dropped, 4 since the last one was, and 1 since the surface went completely radio silent. We have no more hope for rescue or a refuel and it's going to have to be up to our remaining 6 man crew to save ourselves. \n\nWe have begun the process of loading whatever usable equipment can be stockpiled into the last RC cargo capsule to visit us. It has remained as a lucky yet grim reminder that ground control was lost so early in the fray. They didn't even try to help us... but we can still help ourselves. \n\nLog 283: Dr. Zhou has finished reprogramming the RC cargo capsule for our piloted re-entry and the last of our few rations have been packed. With some makeshift seats mounted along the cargo hold for our use, we have no choice but to attempt our descent into the grey. \n\nI pray to God that we find anything hospitable below. Even a chance at life is slim to none for us. But that hope is all we have left. Our charted plan should land us somewhere in the in the Great Plains of what was The USA.\n\nLog 285: Gravity is swift and she takes no prisoners. Our heat shield is holding and Susan Torrez has taken control of the makeshift controls assembled. She is quick to make sure gravity doesn't take us too fast. \n\nLike the bombs that destroyed our homes, we fly burning through the atmosphere with the heat of a nuclear furnace. The sound of metal creaking and the rush of fire fills our minds, our suits, and our souls. \n\nLog 286: We must have missed our landing zone, as this is not the terrain we expected. Reflected from our helmets rests the specter of a bygone world. Ash slowly drifts down from the toxic skies, swirling between the charred and wicked shapes of what were once trees. It's surreal, beautiful, and disheartening all at the same time. \n\nLog 287: We lost Dr. Zhou to a radiation leak, and Yuri took off his helmet; embracing death. I can still hear their agony and their screams. I can still see the piles of bones scattered about them. I can still feel the inevitability of my death... and yet we walk on into the dust. \n\nLog 288: I'm all that's left now. My oxygen is low; my last breaths stolen from Torrez. Her air was to be mine and I couldn't stop myself. I finally knew where we had landed and I had to make it home. So here shall I die... I shall die with my arms around the bones of my family. At least I can say I got to see my wife before I went. To lie with her in our home one last time. We shall be bones together...\n\nLog 289: No... Wait... You can't be alive!! No you#%recording damaged%#\n" ]	2
	[WP] Addiction/alcoholism, portrayed as a sentient force	[ "I sat back, re-imagining my plan once more. Five hours, minimum. Half hour break for a snack, then right back to studying. To keep it from getting stale, rotate subject every half hour. I think I should probably start with-\n\nKnock Knock Knock\n\n\"Hey there bud, how is it goin'?\" it asks, completely ignoring my privacy\n\n\"Great until you showed up.\" I reply, already anticipating the earful this prick is about to give me.\n\n\"Wachya workin' on there?\"\n\n\"Well I was about to start Calculus s-\"\n\n\"Wow, that looks really boring. You know what...\"\n\nI already knew what it was about to suggest \"Shut up.\"\n\n\"You should...\"\n\n\"Shut up!\"\n\n\"Check...\"\n\n\"I AM PERFECTLY HAPPY STUDYING THANK YOU FOR ASKING!\"\n\n\"Writing prompts!\"\n\nI tried my best to ignore it.\n\n\"Oh come on, your writing isn't going to get any better if you don't\"\n\n\"Bull shit, you with your 'improving' attitude all of a sudden. Where was that practice makes perfect attitude when I was trying to write that essay last week?!\"\n\n\"Yeah but that essay sucked!\"\n\n\"Because I only started it the day before it was due!\"\n\n\"There were important things to do before then!\"\n\n\"Yeah? Like what? all those youtube viedos, facebook, reddit?\"\n\n\"Important. Things.\"\n\n\"Yeah, well buzz off. This time I actually have important things to do.\"\n\nIt tried talking me into it a bit more \"Just leave a tab open and check every other problem, what harm could that do?\" But I did my best not to listen. After half hour or so, it left only to come back around dinner to be ignored for another fifteen minutes. Then it was closing in on midnight, I really should have gone to bed an hour ago but I got caught up in a few problems. Then it showed up when I least expected it.\n\n\"Man, what a dull day, huh. You deserve a few minutes on the web, don't you think?\"\n\nTired, weak, weary. I needed bed more than anything, but before I knew it, it already had the front page open. \"Alright. What is a few posts going to hurt.\"\n\nA few posts turned into the front page, which turned to the front page of writing prompts, which turned into the 'new' page of writing prompts.\n\n\"OOOOOoooo Look at that one\" it pointed to the screen \"You can write a little something something for that in no time flat!\"\n\nI turned to the clock, but my eyes didn't see the time, they were looking at the words I was typing on the screen. when all was said and done, I turned back to the creature\n\n\"You know, that was nice. Can I go to bed now?\"\n\n\"But! You only just started! You need to be on more tomorrow!\"\n\n\"We will see about that!\" as I spoke, my hand darted to the power button, the dim light of the monitor quickly faded and with it the abomination that was in my room. As it faded out of existence, it had a grim frown on it's face. Next time we met, it would be angry.\n\nBrushed my teeth, head to bed. I lie there between my sheets, staring at the ceiling. As I start to fade, I can feel my hand grasping for my phone at my bedside. It still wants me.\n\n\"Oh give yourself a break\" It says in a calm soothing voice \"You could be addicted to crack or alcohol.\"\n\n\"Yeah, then I wouldn't have to hang out with a nerd like you\" I reply.\n\nInternet addiction didn't take any shame in being called a nerd, in fact it took a bit of pride." ]	1
	[WP] In a world where everybody is immortal, having children is forbidden. You're pregnant	[ "I caught it from the corner of his eye. That flicker of alarm on his face as he scanned the report. How he slowly reached for the phone, while simultaneously assuring me that the test results appear to be fine. I immediately knew. I didn't gave him the chance to alert anyone. I lunged at him, pulling out the knife that was hidden in my purse. \n\nAfter I was done, he was lying in a pool of blood, gasping for air, moaning in pain. No matter how many stabs I give him, he was not going to die. We're not supposed to die, anyway, no matter what we do to our body. But it was more than enough to keep him down. And most importantly, I needed him to forget.\n\nAs he tried to crawl away from the room, I flicked the knife and held it in reverse grip. Our bodies may refuse to die, but there are still many ways to harm it. I took aim at his neck, where the spinal cord connected to the brain, and plunged the knife as hard as I could.\n\nThere was a sickening crack as the blade ripped through his skin and struck his spine. Blood splattered everywhere. He let out one final whimper, before slumping to the ground. If the blade had hit where it was supposed to, he would not remember a thing when he wakes up. That I could only hope.\n\nI proceeded to clean the room immediately. The bloodstained floor and clothes. Scouting out this particular clinic had helped, as I knew there was an attached toilet where I could draw water, and there was no one around to hear the commotion. I changed the doctor out of his bloodied overalls with the clothes that I brought, and dumped them all in my backpack. I would have to burn everything later.\n\nI did not want to do this, but I had little choice. Ever since the Universal Life Preservation Act kicked into place, the world was no longer a place I recognized. In an attempt to prolong human life, we released something far worse than what we had buffered for. A highly contagious nanovirus that rapidly repairs any deformity in the body, ensuring that your cells forever stay the way they are, effectively turning humans immortal.\n\nWe were suddenly cursed with this condition, unable to grow old, forever confined to the age we were infected.\n\nI walked over to the doctor's table, and opened the file to reveal my health report. Printed in bold red at the bottom right was the word 'Positive', next to the 'Pregnancy Test' heading. It was a crime to be pregnant, considering how humans can no longer age. I know that fully well. After all, I went through the sterility program just for this. But somehow, somewhere, something went horribly wrong. \n\nI tucked the report into my bag, wondering how life would now change for me. It was impossible to abort the baby, the virus affects the individual at conception, and the prospect of spending the rest of eternity locked up is not a possibility I would entertain. My choices were severely limited.\n\nThere was another life now within me, that at least I know. As I walked out of the clinic, into this new world that is now grappling with a new reality, a new resolve forms within me. If this is what life is going to hand me, the last thing I could do is to fight for the right to live, for me and my baby. I took a step out to the unknown.\n\n" ]	1
We've all been wronged. Here's your chance to get even.	[WP] Exact your revenge.	[ "My mother is a hoarder. Not your typical hoarder; she doesn't keep trash bags and dirty plates and used tissues.\n\nShe hoards stuff.\n\nEvery day we get more boxes in the mail. The UPS and Fedex guys are on a first name basis with us, and the USPS delivery driver leaves treats for our dogs daily. Coming home to less than three new deliveries is unusual.\n\nMy mom is a hypocrite. She yells at everyone else for being a lazy do-nothing, and yet all she does is lay in bed and mope. She watches tv, complains and barks out orders, sleeps, and shops online. QVC is her channel of choice, except when Toddlers & Tiaras is on.\n\nThe boxes contain junk. Our kitchen is chock full of single-function gadgets and doodads that have never been used. I could make you zucchini spaghetti, or spin your salad, or scramble you an egg without ever breaking the shell. I could lock a pint of Ben & Jerry's, leave a perfect puncture on a carton of milk, or cook bacon in the microwave in a giant contraption that holds the strips flat so they cook more evenly.\n\nI could, but I never have. Neither has she.\n\nWe have decorations galore, for every season and holiday. They sit in the basement, never to be displayed. Every surface in our house is so covered in knick knacks and tchotchkes that you can't even put your keys down. Our basement is piled high with boxes labelled Christmas and Easter and Halloween. They haven't been opened in years.\n\nShe has so many clothes, she uses over half of my closet. My stepdad doesn't even get a closet; she's taken over his entirely. There are boxes and boxes filled with expired makeup, hair products, soaps, medications, toothpaste, and every other toiletry you could want. There's a huge bin filled with samples from hotels and magazines and stores. There is even a bookshelf filled with candles and perfumes that, again, have never been opened.\n\nMy mom is a hoarder, not in the \"traditional\" sense (she throws away garbage, after all!) but she doesn't see it. My stepdad and I are sick of it. We have to put it away, and live around the hoard, and deal with mountains of junk falling out of every cabinet that gets opened.\n\nWe're ready to strike back.\n\nWe've decided that we need to do something drastic. Something that will make this house livable. Something... final.\n\nWe already bought the biggest pack of industrial garbage bags we could find. Now we just need an excuse to get her out of the house for a few hours. It will be hard work, and it will require multiple trips to the nearest dumpster. It will be sweaty and dusty and dirty.\n\nIt will be glorious. I can't wait.", "On the theme of Vengeance:\n&nbsp;\n\n\"You didn't understand,\" the man said, his face staring into two others, upside down. \"If you did,\" the man said, lifting his face away, \"you wouldn't have done the things that put you here.\" Bright lights hit their eyes, forcing them to squint. The sound of leather being drawn tight and creaking made a susurrus in the otherwise still room.\n&nbsp;\n\n\"There are two kinds of people.\" The voice came from somewhere in the room. The men tried to move their heads but they were fixed, staring at the roof, into the light. \"One kind, when you take everything from him...\" and here the voice broke, the sadness echoing in the resulting silence. \"You take it, and he falls down. You've cut his strings, his reason to move, to live.\" The men struggled to speak, but their mouths had been filled with cloth and taped shut. \"The second kind, oh~\" the voice continued. \"The second man, when you take everything away, you don't take away his strings, but his fetters. His Chains!\" he shouted.\n\n&nbsp;\n\"That man, he has nothing to live for, except revenge.\" The last few words were almost hissed. The face appeared again, blocking the light. The men squinted up, straining to move, to do anything. \"The only reason we are having this little chat,\" the man said as his hands placed nasal tubes into their nostrils and turned a valve, \"is because I wanted you both to know who did this to you, in case you survive.\" He smiled, like a devil, driving syringes into each of their necks and squeezing.\n&nbsp;\n\nTheir eyes closed, their minds turning blank, as the doctor began his work. For the next three days three men stayed in a room that smelled like blood and death. In the corner was a pile of organs, a heart, a liver, two lungs. One set of every organ in the body. On a table lay a single body, once two people. Stitched together in horrifying ways, sharing an entire set of organs like a perverse set of Siamese twins. The doctor pulled a phone from his pocket as he left, calling for an ambulance to come to the location. Again, he smiled.\n\n", "\"So, we meet for the last time, Nicholas.\"\n\nThe man was shriveled. He lay destitute in the hospital bed. He must have been going on eighty now. \n\n\"Where is your wife, Nicholas?\"\n\nThe man did not have a wife, for none would love him. \n\n\"Where are your children, Nicholas?\"\n\nThe man did not have any child, for the state took them away. \n\n\"Where is your family, Nicholas?\"\n\nThe man did not have any family, for they tired of defending him. \n\n\"Where are your friends, Nicholas?\"\n\nThe man did not have any friends, for they knew what he did. \n\n\"Where is your Angel, Nicholas?\"\n\nThe man recalled Angel, the girl he violated some sixty years or more past. \n\n\"I know where she is, Nicholas. She's moved on. She's done better. Last I heard, she might be going back to the camp as a director. But you. You are here.\"\n\nThe interrogator removed the respirator from the man's face, and left into the light of a hospital ward. ", "######[](#dropcap)\n\nWith a sound of metal screaming in a grind of sparks, Rodrick's sword lifted from the groove it had carved in the floor beneath it to begin its advance along side him. He had watched this farce long enough, far past the point which he should have been spurred to action- and now the results shown in front of him far beyond his wildest expectations.\n\nThe room was filled with stunned faces, some still coated in the blood of the unluckiest members of their group within the tower. Rodrick had witnessed three in this session alone meet their demise- and the day was just begun: There was a high chance for at least two more following along in that fate. As he passed the first of them, what little emotion left within him found humor in their fear. Robes and cloaks tripped and fell with panicked and scrambling feet to move aside.\n\nCowardice aside, that was very wise of them. His sword had done away with many in the past too foolish to recognize its right of way.\n\nAs all present in the room stared gaped in awe and horror, Rodrick stepped forward with finality, massive blade lifted to rest its massive weight upon armored his shoulder as he stared down at the single Mage in the room's center. Below his gaze sat a man who should be dead, sitting quietly in traditional garb of no special bearing. A black robe and a shaved head just barely prickling back to growth, face of dumbfounded expression that seemed unable to grasp that the chest beneath it still beat with life. \n\nBy all rights, these things were justified. Rodrick knew full well that the Mage should have been dead, and yet...\n\nRodrick stared at the portal, looking into the plane of another existence. Beyond it lay a world mostly lacking of Magics. Another place where perhaps the laws of its reality might prevent even an Unstoppable, Immortal Mage of the Dark arts from finding themselves capable of instantly returning. A place that might strip them of their gifts and leave nothing but a mortal man in their place. \n\nSo much as Rodrick doubted against the tiny flicker of hope that such passage would be enough to put and end to this miserable existence, there was still a chance: Here and now, there was a greater chance than Rodrick had ever known in all his service.\n\nCasually, Rodrick let the massive sword resting on his armored shoulder fall, whistle of its cut through the air halting in an instant beside the man's neck- and waiting. There it held, still as if clamped to iron bands of perfect tension.\n\n\"Can the Portal be closed?\" His question rolled out like damp fog of a dark valley, cold and oppressive. Beside them, Rodrick could see the ancient Spheres of Chaos spinning on unseen axis, odd contortions of space and vision churning like curdled milk as flickers of unfamiliar passed along their perfect polished edges. \"Answer me, Mage.\"\n\n\"But you... You're-\" The Mage stuttered, staring back between the sword, the portal, and the dark glow beneath Rodrick's blackened helm. \"He's your master- isn't he?\"\n\n\"ANSWER ME.\" The shout brought the youth's jaws to clench shut, whatever words planned brought to quick and ruthless silence. \"Answer me, now.\"\n\n\"N-no-\"\n\n\"No?\" Rodrick pressed the sword closer, tainted edge the only part of the metal that still showed a faint hint of life and glory. A drop of red cascaded down along the silver line. \"Explain.\"\n\n\"He's right, we can't.\" Another voice joined into the conversation, Rodrick turned to set his gaze upon another mage as they pulled back their hood to reveal themselves. \"The portal will remain open unless we can break the spheres, and none of us are capable of that. The Dark Lord was the only one who understood those magics.\"\n\nThe young woman that hood revealed stared at him with wild blue eyes, hands lowered as if she might consider casting in his direction- attentive on the sword. If Rodrick could still smile from beneath his helm of blackened coal and filth, in that instant he might have shone teeth. He'd seen them both, after all. They had worked together, these two. \n\nFirst the mage beside his sword, then the girl with her lightning. Rodrick had expected them to fail, been slow to act considering how little concern Gillian had shown for their attempts to resist. Yet, somehow they had succeeded in avoiding a more immediate death. Rodrick considered that for a moment, recognizing their act for what it was: A distant memory of another life before death.\n\n\"We all hated the Dark Lord, just as much as I know you do.\" The Witch continued, pressing him with grappled words. \"I know you wished him dead as well. Please let Eron go, we'll obey you in his place. We'll be loyal, I swear it.\"\n\nLove... in a horrid place like this, it seemed beyond foolish that such a thing could even come to pass.\n\n\"So the Portal can not be closed.\" He turned to stare at its strange brilliance, skies of blue and buildings of glass piercing like jagged teeth in the distance beyond its veil. There was no sign of his Lord's return, not yet: But as long as Rodrick persisted to remain in the mortal realm, he knew that the Dark Mage still lived.\n\nWhile that man still lived, no tragedy was impossible.\n\n\"Please let Eron go.\" The witch seemed uncertain of which route to take, finally settling on the tried and proven method of grovelling on one's knees, bowing low. \"Please. Anything you ask, we'll give it.\" She begged, tears already forming on the ground beneath her. \n\nIn a distant part of Rodrick's mind, he felt it strange how genuine that emotion was. Where all he felt was hatred and fog, there were still those who had a portion of their humanity left to them. Along the edges of the room, Rodrick heard the great door creak open, drawing his attention to the source.\n\nAn uncertain face peeked around its edge, practiced eyes peering for immediate dangers before entering.\n\n\"Young Julius.\" Rodrick's voice rang out like the steel in his hand, raising the sword once more to rest on his plated shoulder so that it no longer sat along the man's neck. The ragged sigh of relief from the Mage beneath him was notably audible. \"Your timing is impeccable.\"\n\nStepping inside to receive Rodrick's greeting, the cleaner bowed with mop, rags, and buckets in hand. The nervous expression upon the boy's face was fitting for the circumstances, especially considering the cleaner had just walked into the Western Continent's closest equivalent to a successful assassination attempt in the last 3,000 some-odd years.\n\n\"Yes Sir Rodrick. Thank you Sir Rodrick!\" The youth's reply came with numerous further bows, a panicked tone and a dropped mop as well, before coming to his senses. \"Just the usual post-sphere session clean up sir?\" He shifted the wooden instrument in the general direction of the corpses already scattered along the floor, and the blood stains along the walls.\n\nThis particular session had been eventful even before the Dark lord was thrown out of their present reality.\n\n\"No Julius, not precisely...\" The words seemed unfamiliar coming from his own throat, not their pronunciation, but certainly their purpose. Rodrick didn't even know how long it had been since. \"Are there still corpses left from the previous sessions?\"\n\n\"Corpses?\" The cleaner's expression looked increasingly uncertain. \"There are plenty of corpses, always-\"\n\n\"Good. Instruct the servants to fetch me two.\"\n\n\"Two corpses?\" The Cleaner almost dropped his mop again, eyes darting to the others present in the room. \"But why?\"\n\nA sound rumbled out among the hall, only after a moment did Rodrick realize it was his own voice. Laughter, true laughter after all these painful years. All the years that Gillian had tortured him, Rodrick could hardly recognize the noise: So hollow, the tones sounded as if his armor itself was the one laughing, all but empty of the being inside.\n\nPurposefully, chest plates heaving all the while, Rodrick reached down as his gauntlet covered hand felt cloak and robes before throwing the Mage that had rested at his feet across the room. His body landing with a shout of pain by his grovelling companion, her sobs ceasing as she wrapped her arms around his injured form protectively.\n\n\"Bring these Mages with you, Julius.\" Rodrick paused in murky thought as he watched them rise, unsteady. Shifting his sword slightly, his tone turned once more. \"And send another cleaner back in your stead, still with the pair of corpses. Make certain all those are of near likeness.\" The sword slowly settled its point once more into the stone floor with a ruthless crunch. \"Close as possible.\"\n\n\"Another cleaner? Likeness?\" Julius stared at the Black Knight with horror, realization quickly setting in. \"Oh gods have mercy...\"\n\n\"Do as I command.\" The Knight said solemnly, \"Go now.\"\n\nThe cleaner obeyed, followed by the rough limping duo behind him as the door soon closed. Rodrick left his sword what it stood, humor forgotten as he turned to stare at the strange portal; charcoal black armor drinking in the light that poured from its peculiar glow.\n\n----\n\nThis Story is a continuation of a bunch of other writing prompts:\n\n[Start here](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/51f8ag/wp_youre_such_a_powerful_magician_that_life_is/d7bn3g2)\n\n[Previous](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/5aykcr/wp_never/d9kht8n/)\n\n[NEXT](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/5balln/wpyou_can_cook_1minute_rice_in_57_seconds_despite/d9n38qk/)\n\n\n" ]	4
	[WP] Jesus Christ is real and he's back. You get his exclusive first interview and he is not the guy you'd imagined he'd be.	[ "“So…. No halos, no heavenly beams of light, no nothing?”\n\nThe man sitting across the table from me chuckled as he meticulously finished rolling the joint that he insisted on bringing into the interview. He licked it, sealed it carefully, and popped it into the corner of his mouth. “I wanted to make an entrance, for sure. Peter wouldn’t let me though, something about keeping up appearances and not causing a mass panic. Kind of a square, that guy. You got a light?” He took the lighter that I passed to him, sparked the end of his joint and inhaled. “But he’s got a point, I guess. Last time I was here I was just some dude. I worked the occasional miracle, sure, but I was still mostly just a human. Coming back being overtly the Son of God and all kinda defeats the purpose of me being here.”\n\n“Well, what do you mean by that, Mr. Christ?”\n\nThat got a hefty guffaw out of him. “Please, please, call me Jesus. But yeah, you know, the whole point of my teachings was to get the common man to not be a dick, right? You can teach them that by being all fire and brimstone, but you can teach that a lot better by just being the change you want to see. People see you being good and getting good in return, they want in on it. Might be cashing in on greed a little bit, but there’s no real problem with that. Ends and means and all that. You want a hit of this?” The joint was thrust in my direction, smoking lightly.\n\n“Oh, please, no thank you, sir. But that does raise another question – why, exactly, have you insisted on smoking during the interview…? Isn’t that a bad thing? You know, marijuana is regularly known as the Devil’s Let-“\n\n“Pshhhhhhhhhhh.” My question was interrupted with said joint being waved in my direction with a dismissive gesture. “It’s a natural plant, ain’t it? And it doesn’t kill you. I’ve been telling you guys for centuries, Dad put it down here for the enjoyment of the people. And all y’all do is fight about it.” A small bit of ash fell to the table, smoldering gently, as he took another drag. “Devil’s Lettuce, my shining holy ass. You know, a lot of your big problems can be solved by direct application of a fatass blunt. Seriously. Get one of those bad boys into the next world leaders’ meeting, I guarantee you you’ll start seeing some real results.”\n\n“Uhh, very well, sir. The next question on the list here is, where have you been? I mean, clearly you’ve been in Heaven, but you were a huge influence on the world back when you were.. ah, first alive, and then you disappeared for centuries. Scholars have been arguing ever since about whether you even really existed. So why didn’t you come back before this to set the record straight? Where have you been?”\n\nJesus shrugged nonchalantly. “Iunno. Around. Just because nobody recognized me doesn’t mean I wasn’t here.” He leaned in closer to the table and dropped to a conspiratorial whisper. “Remember that guy you met on the bus last week that gave you fifty bucks and asked you to spend it on your girlfriend?” He gave a sly grin and a wink and leaned back again. “I’ve been doing stuff like that for years. Usually I just pose as random schmucks and see how the local humans treat me. I’ve gotta say, too, I’m usually pretty impressed. Dad is less so, but I’ve been down here among you guys since the last time anybody heard from the ‘real Jesus’. As a whole, you’ve got some work to do, but individually? I like most of you.” Another drag on the joint. “Funny thing, that – humanity in general has got a lot to learn from the Satanists. Seriously, check out what those guys are putting down, it’s good stuff.”\n\n“I- uhm. What? Satanists? Seriously?”\n\nHe nodded emphatically. “Yeah dude, check it out, hold on –“ he grabbed my laptop, without asking, and navigated to the Church of Satan website. “Just look at that. There’s some bits that aren’t that great, sure, but the general idea of it is to be cool to your fellow humans and chase what you love. I’m not mad at that.”\n\n“But, Mr. Jesus – doesn’t that directly contradict one of the Ten Commandments? ‘Thou shalt have no other Gods’?”\n\n“Alright, look.” He set the joint down and got a serious look in his eyes. “I’m gonna let you in on a little something. Things were a little weird back in the Old Testament days, and we needed some hard and fast rules to keep people from stabbing each other and trying to bone their cousins. One of these hard rules was that you had to follow the rules – hence the part where one of the Commandments was to worship the God that was presented to the people and not anybody else, because any of the other false gods that people made up would have had a different set of rules. But the truth of it is, you know, all the religions that came out of history – Christianity, Islam, the Greek Pantheon for fuck’s sake – they’re all going to the same guy. They had different ways of looking at it, but there really is only one God and they all answer to aspects of Him. Thing is, though, he’s kind of… let’s call it ‘nebulous’. He’s not just ‘a guy’ in the way you think of that phrase – he’s an all-encompassing force. The way you understand physics are a byproduct of how His physical body exists. Little parts of him make up everything you’ve ever known, and sometimes people pick different parts to worship. Doesn’t mean any of you are necessarily wrong, just that you’re looking at different interpretations. While we’re on the subject, though, and pay attention –“ He looked directly into the camera for this one – “I’ma need you to stop fighting over all that. Seriously. Nobody is going to ‘win’ anything by that, all you’re doing is making fools out of yourselves and needlessly killing innocent people. Stop that shit.” He leaned back, picked his joint back up and took a drag on it. “It’s fuckin’ stupid, I tell you. You know what else was in the Commandments? ‘Thou shalt not kill’. Fat lot of good that’s doing anybody in their crusades.”\n\n“Can you elaborate some more on that for us? About the nature of God? And what is Heaven really like?”\n\nJesus grinned. “Trade secret, sorry. You’ll just have to wait and see when you get there.”\n\n“Well, Mr. Jesus –“\n\n“Look, dawg, I already told you, it’s just Jesus. Please.”\n\n“Okay, well then, Jesus. Do you have anything you’d like to tell the world before we have to end our interview?”\n\nHe pondered this for a moment, until a crafty grin spread across his face. “Two things, actually. One, Hell isn’t quite as bad as we made it sound in the Bible – people needed a real solid deterrent back in those days, but in reality it’s more like Purgatory. You can work your way out of there and up into Heaven if you can purify your soul. It ain’t easy, but it’s doable. Might make you all feel a little better. Secondly – remember how I said I like to wander around as random people and meet the local humans? I don’t do that just for fun – it’s mostly for fun, but you know, I’ve got a real job up in Heaven, and that job is keeping tabs on the Earth and making sure people are still doing right by each other. Next time you’re about to be mean to someone, think about how sure you are that they aren’t actually me in disguise.” He winked conspiratorially, dropped the smoldering joint into my ashtray, and stood up. “Ta ta, kids! Until next time! Remember, we’re always watching.”\n\nAnd with that, he disappeared in a cloud of smoke that smelled faintly of lilacs and marijuana. The joint continued to smolder gently on the table.\n\n“Well, ladies and gentlemen, you heard it here first. Jesus Christ!”\n" ]	1
	[WP]Well, this is awkward. The monster under my bed is scared of me.	[ "The whimpering under the bed began to bother me again. I had work tomorrow, damn it. Why did this thing have to be blubbering in the middle of the night?\n\n\"Would you shut up?\"\n\nThe creature began to sob loudly, blubbering incomprehensibly. It's voice was deep and moving, yet it didn't fit this puny creature.\n\n\"Please don't hurt me...\"\n\nI sighed. This was the fifth time in over a week it did this.\n\n\"Look, i'm not going to hurt you. Why would I?\"\n\n\"Because you're scary, and big, and have that terrifying job. EVEN I DON'T HURT PEOPLE FOR FUN!\" \n\n\"I don't hurt people for fun.\"\n\n\"YES YOU DO! YOU'RE MEAN AND NASTY! NASTIER THEN ME!\"\n\n\"Look, can you just pipe down for the night? I have work. I'm not going to tell you again. Why don't you just leave?\"\n\n\"I DON'T WANT YOU TO HURT ME!\"\n\nThe creature went back to blubbering, but more quietly. I sighed loudly. He's not gonna leave, is he? I don't even know what he's scared about. Still, luckily, I was able to sleep, even with his crying.\n\nAwakening in the morning, the bottom of the bed was silent. The creature always sleeps in daylight, because it knows i'm leaving. Putting on my business suit and black tie, I combed my black hair and grabbed my briefcase. Running outside, I hailed a taxi. When the car began speeding to the office building, I began to relax. I felt easier, somehow. Work was always something I enjoyed.\n\nFinally, we reached the building: a huge bank, with marble pillars and a glass door. I stepped out of the cab, and gave the driver a tip. Breathing in, I began walking into the bank, and strolling past citizens. They always gave me weird looks. I guess being a debt collector gives you some infamy, after all.\n " ]	1
	[WP]If you smoke someone's brain, you get their memories	[ "Dearest Mark, my little Cucumber,\n\nThere is no garden now. The rainy days of hide and seek in the old farmhouse are no more. But how I think of them often. They bring me such warmth in even the darkest times.\n\nMy life held so little. So little happiness. And you were the one ray of sunshine in such a sea of dismal darkness. I was near the end when I met you, but you brought me back to the light. Having a child will do that, and becoming a mother makes one bigger than only oneself.\n\nSo now I sit here alone. Away from you. And I think back on your dirty little face playing in the gardens. Your squeals of delight when you were found hiding under the pillows. Thank you for those memories. They bring me such happiness in this lonely cell. I never knew when I killed your mother and smoked her brains what she would be giving me, but I am sure you will be happy to know her memories carry on and I cherish them deeply.\n\nLove Mom (The Nighthawk Killer.)\nTennessee State Penitentiary\nCell 6, Block D \"Deathrow\"\n" ]	1