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[WP] Insects (flys, mosquitos, cockroches ect) are actually ships for a tiny alien race. They have been at war with humans for as long as anybody can remember.
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"I lost my father years ago. I remember the day the telegram arrived home. 'Killed by SWAT'. I held that letter in my hand and vowed that one day I would avenge him.\n\nSWAT was how most of my kind were killed these days. An elite, specialist method of eradicating us, my kind was yet to work out how to avoid this ruthless, murdering, evil team of slayers.\n\nFrom the day that letter came home my mother, resigned to single parenting, bemoaned my life choice of entering the cavalry. 'The war is as good as lost, ' she would say, 'all these years of fighting and the most we have ever achieved is minor irritation and swelling. And the keep producing SWAT, then it's game over. We are never going to beat them.' I steadfastly refused to change my decision. I would become a mounted officer, if it killed me.\n\nI completed my training at the top of my class. I survived my first battle, *The Citronella situation* and shortly after fought in *The Tape Wars*. I knew I was fortunate. It was only a matter of time before I came accross the SWAT team. \n\nThe day I received my orders my mother begged me not to leave. Calmly I told her that I must. It was my duty. This is what I had trained for. I saddled my favourite steed, Blue. He buzzed his wings impatiently as I adjusted the girth, his azure abdomen wiggling gleefully at the prospect of a flight. I kissed my mother goodbye, mounted and Blue took flight.\n\nI smelled the human before I saw it. Squeezing Blue's sides, he circled the woman's head twice before she noticed us. Her hand sliced through the air, twice, but Blue was too fast for her. He darted out the way, buzzing gleefully as he rolled and span through the air.\n\nIt was then I saw it. She lifted up a long blue poled with a webbed square on the end and began her attack. I just had time to read the letters on the handle. FLY SWAT.\n\nBlue had no chance. The SWAT hit him square in the face. I dared to howl as I felt the familiar hum beneath me stop as hewent into a tail spin, wings crumpled. The ground rushed towards us.\n\nThe last thing I remember is looking at Blue, twisted and twitching on the ground beside me. A criss cross of shadow falls accross us both. A rush of air, a sound like a whip, a dull thud. Then nothing. "
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[WP] You are the "best" writer in the world with a dark secret: your magic pen does all the work. Unfortunately, today your dog ate it and you have a deadline to meet.
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"“Almost fifty years had passed since the Sultan of Paprika had been forced to abdicate at the point of the villainess Marabella’s sword. The land of Coriander had been at peace and prosperous, as there were no troublemakers. However the people grew kind and virtuous and once again the common goodness threatened to melt the hearts of the people. The land was once more in dire need of a villain.” I stared at the screen, writer’s block hung over me like a cloud... Damn. But I need a new main character. And a really good one. Marabella was too beloved by the fans and would be hard to top and I had to kill off Grimbold. “This calls for the pen. I walked towards my shelf in the living room where I kept it in its case. I lifted up the polished Mahogany box and opened it, revealing an antique brass and gold fountain pen. \n\nI removed it from the box and held it in my hand. It was my lucky pen. Every time I had it on me I always had good ideas. For my first novel I wrote the manuscript with it on a legal pad. Since then I had learned how to write well, I felt it was a teacher of a sort. These days I usually didn’t seem to need it as much. But today was different. The doorbell rang, my Chinese delivery had arrived. I paid the deliverywoman and went to eat.\n\n\nElsa, my white furred Newfoundland/Alsatian mix dog padded in, sniffing the air, making a chuffing noise. She climbed onto my lap knocking me down. The antique pen fell onto my plate of chicken rice. Before I could get up, she’d wolfed down the entire plate of food. The pen included. I swore at her, “Bad girl!”\n\nThis is no good. My editor wants me send him the final \"Villains of Coriander” manuscript by midnight. That pen always gave me the best ideas. I haven't written without it in a long time. She looked guilty her gaze downcast. I need that pen. But what to do.? It will take too long to pass through her system. Do I really need to Google \"how to make a dog vomit?\" I remember when she got the dog flu and was miserable for a week. She’s been my best friend for so many years. She’s usually a good, if not overly friendly dog.\n\nDamn, if I don't get that pen back I’ll miss my deadline, I'll have to refund the advance\nand my fans will be disappointed. But I don't want my best friend to get sick.\nI looked at her sprawled across my couch. And had an idea. It might work; after all \nI set my keyboard in front of her and read aloud what I had written. She put a paw to the keyboard and began typing. \n\n\"In the convent of St. Thalassa the charitable, Yarn the cat and Stewpot the dog napped in front of the kitchen fire. The old mother superior who once again had been unable to sleep hobbled in, tripping over the pair and falling face first into the washbasin. She slowly rose to her feet, shaking the water off. She grumbled at the pair a moment but paused. She couldn't stay angry at them. Yarn was a mischievous striped kitten who loved to roll the balls of knitting yarn across the floor, and hide them random crevices. Stewpot was a golden retriever of two years and had a habit of eating anything left in the old stewing pot. As a pup he'd used to doze in the pot. They looked at each other as she set a bowl of water on the floor. Yarn jumped into the bowl, sending water all over stewpots fur. The dog hated getting wet and growled at the kitten who took off across the kitchen, ducking under the lit iron brazier. Steeply pursued, slamming into the brazier sending it plummeting into the barrel of cooking oil. The fire consumed the grand old wooden building, roasting everyone in their beds. The only survivors were a burned kitten w and a dog with black singed fur. In Stewpot’s mouth was the Infernal Grimore of Hazeel-mun.\"\n\n"
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[WP] Every time you hire a baby sitter for your little sister, the baby sitter is always gone by the time you get back, and never returns your calls. Curious, you set up a camera to see what happens...
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"Tammy was lying down in front of the TV, stomach down. Her legs were in the air behind her, gently kicking. The TV was on, but she paid more attention to the colored pencils and paper in front of her. \n\nTammy already knew how to draw rats, scorpions, and the little bugs. At the moment she was trying to draw a turtle. It was a lot harder because she had never seen a turtle in real life. Tammy was nine years old, had curly brown hair, and her favorite turtle was Raphael. \n\nIn the entrance hall, Sam was talking to the babysitter. Sam wore a tank top over black jeans. She had her hair up in braids and perpetually squinted. \n\n“Okay, there are three rules for taking care of my sister. One. No bright lights. Two. Don’t ever get her wet. Three. No feeding her after midnight.”\n\n“Your sister’s a gremlin?” This week’s babysitter was named Alice, a girl from Sam’s Economics class. Alice wore thick-rimmed glasses. Her vibe was preppy to the max, except for a pair of snakebite piercings on her mouth. \n\nShe laughed at the joke, but Sam just stared.\n\n“Those are the rules. Also, please avoid touching anything. There’s a full list of things to avoid on the fridge. \n\n“I’ll do my best,” she said skeptically. “Do you guys have soda and stuff?”\n\n“No. Number for pizza is on the fridge too. I gotta go.” Without further ado, she walked out of the house.\n\nAlice opened her mouth to ask another question, but was caught off guard by the suddenness of the exit. She frowned. Sam hadn’t even given her a tour.\n\nShe walked past Tammy to the kitchen. She might as well check out the list first.\n\nThe kitchen was luxurious. It had a huge stove, an island with a granite countertop, and floors that were sparkling clean. The sink was full of dirty dishes, but the same was true for Alice’s house, so she wouldn’t judge there. \n\nShe turned to the double-door refrigerator and raised her eyebrows. The list was longer than Alice was tall several times over. It had safety pins keeping it from touching the floor. She recognized Sam’s messy handwriting.\n\nAlice moved the magnet aside and took the list off the fridge. Item number one was the list itself. Item number two was the fridge. \n\nGreat.\n\nThree was “box of moon pies”. The rest of them went on to list various pieces of furniture, as well as door handles and certain floor tiles. The only thing allowed was apparently standing in the TV room next to Tammy for the next few hours. \n\nAlice carefully replaced the list on the fridge, trying to make it look exactly as she found it, then went back into the TV room. \n\nBehind her, little black dots with antennae began crawling out from under the fridge.\n\nTammy was still drawing. The TV was showing Monsters Inc., but the sound was glitching. It was mostly dead, with occasional bursts of static. Alice noticed that the static matched whenever the monsters opened their mouths.\n\n“Hey Tammy, check this out.”\n\n“I’ve seen it already.”\n\n“Do you want to watch something else then?”\n\n“No, this is fine.” Tammy kept her eyes on the paper. Alice was starting to feel unnecessary. She decided to check out the rest of the house.\n\n“I hate this part,” Tammy muttered to herself after she left.\n\nThe ground floor consisted of an entrance hall, kitchen, TV room, bathroom, and a few unfurnished guest rooms that didn’t even have carpet. After a quick walk-through, Alice took the stairs up to the second floor.\n\nBehind her, the black dots were starting to spill out of the kitchen.\n\nThe second floor had a game room, containing a pool table, plenty of board games, and a Galaga arcade machine. It also had a bathroom, a few more unfurnished guest rooms, and rooms for Sam and Tammy.\n\nAlice spent a long few minutes in the game room, trying to figure out how to make Galaga work without quarters. She gave up. Tammy would know. \n\nOn her way back down, she passed Sam’s room. Alice hesitated. Sam was the weirdest kid in the class they shared. She bet her friends would find a quick peek interesting. Alice stuck her head in the door.\n\nThe walls were painted black, as were the windows. It was dark in there. For a second, Alice thought the walls had glow in the dark paint on them. Then the specks of light moved, and she realized they were some kind of bioluminescent bug, like fireflies, but smaller.\n\n“What the hell?” She went towards the stairs, to ask Tammy if this was something she had already seen too. The stairs were covered in black dots.\n\nAlice felt stinging in her ankles.\n\nSam watched from her car in the driveway. The house had five or six cameras and she flipped through all of them with an app on her phone. Alice was being eaten alive by bugs. As expected. The list was a distraction. Nearly everything else in the house was safe to touch, but touching the list would attract the bugs.\n\nSam changed to archive footage. Four other babysitters had already gone missing, once a month from the start of the year. It wasn’t Sam and Tammy’s fault that they lived in a cursed house. They were doing what they had to.\n\nInside, Tammy had given up on turtles, and was once more drawing the little bugs, the ones that burrowed under skin and ate to their heart’s content. Her legs swung idly behind her. Pencil scratched on paper.\n\nAlice’s screams finally stopped.\n______________________________________________________\n53/365. Constructive criticism welcome and appreciated.",
"The camera shows what I remember... I watch, bored, as Karla gives me a kiss good night, and I grab my coat; and walk out the door, as usual. Breanna and Karla watch TV and snack on \"treats\". I press the fast-forward button on the remote. \nThe time indicator shows that it's near Karla's bedtime. Breanna bends to tell Karla something. Suddenly, Karla starts twirling around, slowly at first; then faster and faster. She's twirling so fast, she's a blur. I watch, amazed... then she slows.... and stops. \nShe is a truly spectacular sight.. for a horror movie. Curled horns poke out from each side of her head. Green saliva drips from her suddenly blackened, sharp incisors. Her eyes glow. \nBreanna backs away, her eyes wide. She's waving her arms frantically. Suddenly, she makes a run for her phone. In an instant, Karla grabs a blanket, and they both disappear beneath the blanket. Spots appear on the blanket, and when Karla finally lifts the blanket, it looks flat, when before, it appeared lumpy. \nThe horns have disappeared, and Karla looks like the sweet little girl you remember her as. Her brown curly hair lays across her shoulders. She smiles, and you see a sweet smile and white teeth. \nCalmly, Karla heads upstairs, dragging the blanket behind her,and the rest of the video is nothing but an empty room.\nHorrified, I look around for a phone, but none is to be found. I look for Breanna's things, but they are gone. I run upstairs to look for the blanket, out of breath. I can't find it... I look through Karla's room frantically, before my parents get home. I find nothing... until I feel a slight lump in the carpet...\nI lift the carpet, and find an outline in the wood floor underneath. Digging with my jack knife, I manage to pry it open. A pile of various purses, cell phones, and money lie in a cluttered heap. Shocked, I put the wood cover neatly back in its place. I cover it with the carpet. \nI pull out my phone to call my father, but I remember that he, and my mother are gone. Gone in the car accident that nearly claimed Karla, but which she miraculously survived. The accident that was in the woods, near the ramshackle house with the mysterious occupant who had rescued Karla, kept her safe, but who I had never met. \nThe police had found my parents' destroyed car, and they had walked around after seeing the child's car seat. They knocked on the door, but after finding no answer, they tried the door and found it unlocked,and Karla happily playing with a toy on the floor of the deserted living room. \nThey never found the owner of the shack, or figured out how Karla had gotten in there. I remembered being so happy and relieved that I was not alone in the world, that I had my little sister, and resolved to be the best guardian that she could ever have. \nI believed I was, until today. Today, I had no idea what to do. ",
"I watched the footage I'd captured, and I couldn't believe what I was seeing. After I'd left the house, my sister handed the babysitter ten bucks, and she left. For the next three hours, my sister sat in front of the TV, playing my video games, watching my DVDs, and eating my ice cream from the freezer.\n\nI was so mad I stormed away from my computer desk out of my room and confronted her in her bedroom. She was lying on her pink bed, reading a picture book.\n\n\"Are you bribing the babysitters to leave?\" I demanded. She gave me an uninterested glance.\n\n\"No,\" she said. \"I was just 'tipping' them.\"\n\nI glared at her in frustration. \"What are you talking about?\"\n\nShe sighed and set down the book. \"You're really slow, aren't you? All those babysitters you call, guess what? They're me. You're just calling my phone and I'm the one that sets up the times and rates.\"\n\nMy jaw dropped open. \"Wait, what?\"\n\n\"Yeah,\" she continued. \"All it takes is a little voice-changer app and number reroute to fool you, apparently. And then I just pay some girl to pop over for a few minutes before you leave, and I have the house to myself. Finally get to play those games you keep hogging all the time.\"\n\n\"But… why?\" I asked. \"Why would you go through all that trouble? You could just… ask me to play.\"\n\nShe laughed. \"I have. Many, many, many times. And you just ignore me or so say no. And you always told the babysitters not to let me play too. So I decided to take it into my own hands.\"\n\n\"Did I really say that?\" I asked, not remembering. She nodded.\n\n\"Yup. I learned how to sneak into mom and dad's money safe, since they're never around anymore. And now I've learned how to sneak into playing your games, since you never play with me. I do what I gotta do.\"\n\nI stared at her, my anger dissipated and replaced by guilt. I was doing the same thing to her that mom and dad had done to me: ignoring. They were always away on work, doing such crazy things like leaving their son to hire a babysitter for their daughter when he went out.\n\nI wasn't going to repeat the cycle. I could stop it now.\n\n\"Hey,\" I said, extending a hand. \"You wanna play some Mario Kart?\"\n\nShe scrunched up her face in disgust. I thought she was going to say no, but then she smiled.\n\n\"Mario Kart?\" she said mockingly. \"That's kids' stuff. Let's play some Dark Souls. I saw your file, you suck. I can teach you a thing or two.\"\n\n*****\nThis prompt was written with the help of chat at the [ScottWritesStuff](https://www.twitch.tv/scottwritesstuff/) Twitch stream.",
"I sit before the screen just staring as the video plays over and over again.\n\nTwenty minutes ago, I sat with my stupid fucking nanny cam and my fucking superiority complex, convinced I would see these exasperated sitters leave because they couldn't handle Annabelle's behavior.\n\nThat was the only good explanation, after all, for why four babysitters in three months would vanish before we ever returned. Then it would be like they dropped off the face of the planet.\n\nI figured Annabelle narrowed down just the right shit to pull to get a babysitter to throw up their hands and call it quits. She is smart enough to figure out a possible pattern out of one data set. Persistent enough to try to out-monster any adult.\n\nBut what I see instead defies all logic.\n\nProbably because I specifically asked her not to, my daughter took the nanny cam bear off of her shelf. It sat with her at the tea party, showing me only Annabelle, Mr. Frog (who is seated across from the bear), and her shut door.\n\nThere is my darling Annabelle, just four years old. She is in that divine and unrepeatable stage where everything is a wonder. She serves watery tea to her stuffed animals. They are princesses armed for war, apparently.\n\nThe sitter comes in. Begins lecturing her about not asking to use the kettle. Annabelle's look darkens, and she shoots the woman with a Nerf gun.\n\n(At first I smirked. After Annabelle and I got in our first Nerf gun war, she did not try to shoot me again.)\n\nThe sitter begins storming, snatching up Annabelle's stuffed animals, upending the thimble-sized cups of tea. Annabelle sands, knocking over her little mushroom-shaped stool.\n\nShe's ranting, \"That is *completely* unacceptable, young lady, and you *will* sit down until and take a *damn* breather, okay?\"\n\nHer eyes burn darkly as she points at the woman and cries in a language I've never heard before. It sounds like perfect gibberish.\n\nThe sitter just stares at her. Then her eyes rise to the ceiling. A shadow forms over her, as if from nowhere.\n\nThe blood drains from her face.\n\nShe opens her mouth to scream.\n\nSomething descends on her from above. It has spidery scarlet arms. They clutch around the sitter's throat. I can nearly make out the body: something sharp and gleaming set in a dark blur... but before it can become clear my daughter rises.\n\nThe only thing in frame now is the back of her unicorn pants.\n\nMy daughter sighs, liltingly \"What the fuck was *her* problem?\" and I realize hearing her that I need to stop saying that.\n\nA voice like earth moving answers her, \"Mm you were right to summon me. That one tasted better than it looked.\"\n\n\"Thanks for your help,\" she chirped. Then she turned, twirled her skirts, and began cleaning up her disturbed tea party.\n\nThen thirty minutes later, I came home.\n\nThe video is an answer that introduces a thousand questions. If her father was still here, I could talk to him about it, see if I was just going singularly fucking crazy.\n\nBut he was a monthly check and a card at holidays. He did not *do* the disappearing babysitters shit. That sounded, he liked to say, very primary custodial.\n\n\"Darling,\" I ask her. \"Do you know what's happened to all your sitters?\"\n\nAnnabelle folds her hands in her lap. \"No.\" Her eyes look everywhere but at me.\n\n\"You know when you can't look at me, that tells Mommy you're lying.\"\n\nShe sighs, deeply. Nods up towards the rafters as if I should understand.\n\nThen Annabelle leans in with real fear in her eyes, gleaming and unmistakable. She whispers, \"He doesn't like being talked about.\"\n\nI take my daughter's hand and take her to the backyard. She immediately belly-dives into her swing and lets the arc of it carry her shrieking upward.\n\nI catch her by the chain of the swing and the back of her coat.\n\nShe skids to a whining stop.\n\n\"Tell me,\" I say, low and severe. It is a tone she hears rarely and meaningfully. \"Now.\"\n\n\"A man comes out of the ceiling,\" she told me. \"A funny-looking man.\"\n\n\"A funny-looking man,\" I repeat.\n\n\"He's called Arzon.\"\n\n\"How does Arzon get into your room?\"\n\n\"He opens up a hole in the ceiling and climbs out.\" Annabelle pushes her belly against the swing, but I don't let go.\n\n\"Why is Arzon doing that, Annabelle June?\"\n\nHer middle name draws a baleful scowl.\n\n\"Tell me the truth.\" She bites her lip, hard. \"You always get in more trouble for lying than just fessing up, ladybug.\"\n\nThen she blinks her huge dark eyes at me and admits, \"He said he would eat my babysitters if I let him. He said I had to say yes, or else it would be against the rules\"\n\nI close my eyes. Hold my forehead in my palms for several long moments.\n\nThen I manage, \"Thank you for telling me the truth.\"\n\nI turn and stare at my house. It does not look haunted. It looks slanted and it looks like it needs to be repainted, but not ghostly.\n\nNot demonic.\n\nI look back at my daughter. Smile, lightly, like we are playing a game.\n\n\"Sweetheart,\" I say, \"could you introduce me?\"\n***\nPart 2 below\n\n/r/shoringupfragments",
"I watched Penelope Thomas twirl her spaghetti while studying me deep in thought. I hadn’t even noticed the plate of food in front of me. I found myself staring out onto the rain reflecting off of the streetlights outside the restaurant. \n\n“Are you okay?” Penelope dropped her fork. “You haven’t been yourself all night.”\n\n“I’m fine.” I replied. Her facial expression fell. She knew I was lying.\n\n“Is it about your little sister again? She’ll be fine. She always has been.”\n\nI tilted my head. “It’s been three times now. The babysitter is never there when I get home. When I try to call, no answer.”\n\n“Maybe you just keep getting lame babysitters, it happens in this town. Everyone is lazy.” Penelope winked while picking up her fork again.\n\n“It can’t be a coincidence. It has been three different babysitters.”\n\nThunder shook the ice in my glass of water. Penelope stood up from her seat. She grabbed her jacket and ordered, “Let’s go then. Let’s see what we find on the camera you set up.”\n\n“Are you serious?” I stood up along with her.\n\n“Well, clearly you aren’t having dinner so this should put your mind at ease. Hell, if we get there early enough, maybe the babysitter will still be there.”\n\nI didn’t want to wait on the waitress. I dropped enough money to cover the meal plus a tip. Penelope and I left the restaurant only to drive in the torrential down pour back to my parent’s house.\n\n“We’re here.” I said while putting my car into park. I pulled up on the side of the curb by the front lawn.\n\n“Did the babysitter drive to your house?” Penelope squinted her eyes past the rain.\n\n“Yes.” I replied.\n\n“Well, there’s no car in your driveway.”\n\n“Great. Seems like we can mark that as number four now.”\n\nPenelope rolled her eyes while getting out into the rain towards the house. I got out behind her as we ran up to unlock the front door with my key.\n\n“You don’t know anything yet.” Penelope put her hand on my shoulder.\n\nThe door slowly creaked open. None of the lights were on. Penelope tried to flip the light switch but everything remained dark. Thunder echoed behind us as we crept our way in. Penelope and I turned the flashlight on our phones on to notice broken glass inside the house.\n\n“Do you usually come home to broken glass in the dark?” Penelope looked over at me nervously.\n\n“Not really. But remember,” I looked back at her, “we got here early.”\n\nPenelope slowly started making her way up the stairs before I called out for my little sister, “Briana? Briana, are you up there?”\n\nThere was no answer.\n\nI went straight for her room only to find it empty. “Briana!” My heart started pounding against my chest. “Oh my god, she’s gone!”\n\n“Calm down, she’s got to be here somewhere. She’s probably just scared.” Penelope started to open the other bedroom doors.\n\n“Scared? I’m the one who's scared! My parents have been gone for over a month and now my little sister is missing!”\n\nPenelope started back down towards the stairs when all of a sudden the lights flickered a few seconds then back off. I ran down the stairs to find Briana curled up in a ball next to the kitchen sink in the dark. \n\n“Briana!” I rushed to her trying to figure out what happened. I fell onto my knees beside her. “Why didn’t you answer me when I called for you? Were you here this whole time?”\n\n“I – I am scared.” Briana looked up with tears soaking her cheeks.\n\n“Oh darling,” Penelope leaned over to help comfort her. Penelope looked over towards me scrunching her brows together.\n\n“Briana, what happened.” I asked her.\n\n“The monster came back.”\n\nPenelope looked at me in confusion. “What ‘monster?’”\n\nI didn’t answer. I stood back up. “Stay with her, I’m going to figure out what’s going on.”\n\nI went upstairs into my bedroom to log onto my computer. If there were any answers, I was going to find them tonight. I logged in onto the live camera feed. I opened up the saved files and that is when I saw her – the babysitter, Hailey.\n\nHailey was sitting on the couch watching television when the rain started to pick up. I could tell from the video that thunder startled her before my sister came running down the stairs. \n\n“Hailey! Hailey!”\n\n“It’s okay Briana, it’s just a storm. Go back to sleep, okay?” Hailey replied without turning around. She just held our television remote to eye level while flipping through the channels.\n\n“Hailey, there’s a monster in my closet!”\n\nI couldn’t tell if Hailey rolled her eyes or just tilted her head. She glanced over to my little sister before replying, “There are no monsters in your closet! It’s just a thunderstorm.”\n\nHailey turned her head back towards the television before a glass broke against the floor upstairs. Hailey quickly shot up from the couch while listening towards the ceiling. She looked over at Briana whose face grew pale.\n\n“Briana. Come over here by me, okay?” Hailey pulled her cellphone out of her pocket only to realize that it wasn’t working for some reason. The screen kept flickering. On the camera it almost looked like the apps on the phone were randomly closing and reopening but I couldn’t tell for sure. Whatever it was, it made her drop the phone while waving my little sister to come near her.\n\n“I told you, there’s a monster!”\n\n“Not now Briana, I’m sure it’s just the storm.” Hailey replied while scooting closer to Briana. Hailey grabbed Briana’s hand while making her way towards the stairs. “Hello?” she called. “Is anyone up there?”\n\nHailey started stepping on one stair at a time while creeping up as quietly as possible. Briana just stood there staring at her. \n\nI quickly switched to the upstairs camera. My stomach fell. Every hair on the back of my neck woke up to what I was watching. Hailey walked into my sister's room and opened the closet door. She found Briana curled up in a ball staring back up at her. I saw Hailey stand there for a few moments before realizing that if Briana was in front of her, then she couldn’t have been behind her on the staircase. This was when Hailey started screaming. Hailey slammed the closet before rushing out of the bedroom and back down the stairs. The lights inside the house snapped off. The camera automatically switched to night-vision. I switched the camera to find Hailey slamming the front door behind her.\n\nI took a few seconds before turning my back to the computer. I started walking towards my sister’s room. When I walked in, I went to the closet to open the door. Briana was curled up in a ball with tears soaking her cheeks. I felt my breath growing heavy. \n\n“Hey, your sister downstairs is so scared, she won't move.” Penelope walked in behind us still using her cellphone’s flashlight to see.\n\nI stared down towards my sister in the closet who continued whimpering. I turned around back to Penelope. “I'm not exactly sure if that was my sister.” \n\nPenelope chuckled in her moment of confusion. “What are you talking about?”\n\nI moved my body to reveal Briana curled in a ball inside her closet. I watched as Penelope’s eyes widened. She gulped before looking back at me. “If – If she’s here – then, who – who’s downstairs?”\n\nI shook my head. “I have no idea.”\n\nThe worst part was when I looked back down towards Briana I remembered the words from the video. *Hailey, there’s a monster in my closet!* \n\nI took a couple steps back towards Penelope. The light from Penelope's phone highlighted Briana's face in the closet. It seemed as if Briana started smiling. I looked back over to Penelope.\n\n\"I think we might have a problem.\"\n***\n\nTo read more of my stories, visit [r/13thOlympian] (https://www.reddit.com/r/13thOlympian/)\n"
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[WP] Two trolls show up to their bridge shift wearing the same, exact, toga omg.
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"*Gog has lots.*\n\n*Gog has big club, with pointy sharps in it. It hit harder than I, Amog club.*\n\n*Gog has big cave, with soft-soft moss. I, Amog has small cave with hard-hard moss.*\n \n*Gog has soft-soft shoes. He ate big man to get shoes. I, Amog has no shoes.*\n\n*I, Amog has one thing Gog does not. I, Amog has toga.* \n\n*Gog is mean to Amog. Gog is big-big and I, Amog is small-big. Gog laugh lots at Amog, calls I, Amog weak. I hate small-men. I hate small-horse. I hate small-cow. But I, Amog, hate Gog most.* \n\n*Amog and Gog work bridge. We eat small-men and small-horse and small-cow. We take from small-men what Gog says and what I, Amog says too. I hate Gog, but Gog puts in good work on bridge. And I wear toga!*\n\n*Now Gog has toga too! Toga is mine! If I, Amog has toga and Gog has no toga I, Amog am better than Gog still. But now Gog has all. Gog will pay for be mean to I, Amog. Gog will pay for big cave, Gog will pay for soft shoes, Gog will pay for make fun of Amog. Gog will pay for toga!*\n\nA farm girl was playing in the hillside near his farm. She would often go to the edge of the hill that overlooked the river. Through the thickets she would sit and watch the two, monstrous trolls. They would always be there, one massive with an immense spiked club, and one smaller, wearing a sheet like a toga. Her papa said that every so often the bad men in the village would be forced to walk over the bridge, and that if she was ever bad, then she would be forced to walk over the bridge too. Yesterday a bad man had walked to the bridge, so as soon as she had finished her morning chores, she ran to find him. Instead, when she sat in her thicket she saw only one troll. It was the bigger of the two, and there were speckled bruises along his monstrous form. He was wearing two togas, one slung over each shoulder, and the spike in his club had sheared off, as if it has struck something with immense force. \n"
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[WP] Two heroes just broke down your Evil Castle doors and are in the process of killing all of your minions while shouting demeaning comments at each other. It is clear they're racing to see who gets to kill you first.
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"(I read this prompt as 'horses' instead of heroes, so I'm going to write it that way.)\n\n\n\"Ha! That kill was almost as satisfying as your mother!\"\n\n\n\"Laugh all you want, I'm still going to beat you to the Overlord, fuckface.\"\n\n\n\"Oh, I'll laugh. I'll laugh while I trample the Overlord's idiot face in and make you watch!\"\n\n\nI stood, watching in disbelief as two unmanned *horses* managed to fight off nearly all of my soldiers. Their bodies littered the courtyard in haphazard angles, dead. Horses. Two foul-mouthed, chainmail-covered horses that seemed more intent on killing me than any man, woman, or witch that I'd had the pleasure of beheading. \n\n\n\"Just his face? I'm going to shatter every bone in that shitwad's body and then you can have the leftovers! Assuming you even make it to the Overlord at all.\"\n\n\n\"You talk big for someone who cried after coming in second in last year's races.\" The chestnut horse's back hooves collided with the chest of one of my most heavily armored guards. He went flying and hit the stone face of the main entrance. When he landed, I saw that his breastplate had caved in entirely. \n\n\n*I should've sprung for the reinforced iron... that cheap decision is going to cost me my life. Fuck.*\n\n\n\"That was an emotional time! You know I'd just lost a foal, you bastard!\" The bay mare bucked and brought her front hooves down on the other doorman's head. Though his helmet seemed to have survived the force of the attack, he was several feet shorter now, thanks to his spinal collapse. \n\n\n*Fuck!* I'd prepared for the people's uprisings, I'd nipped every one of them in the bud with some well-timed public executions and excessive shows of force. I'd even gone so far as to exterminate all witches and wizards. Everything had been *fine*. Who could have expected the horses? Who even *armed* them? How they could talk was the least of my concerns, but a curiosity nonetheless. Who knew horses were so foul-mouthed?\n\n\n\"I'll kill your ass before I let you beat me to the Overlord, you precocious shit.\" The bay sneered and kicked in the door with ease. \n\n\n*Should've sprung for the iron doors, too. What was I thinking, leaving them as wood? Fuck.*\n\n\n\"I'd like to see you try, Marsha! I'd like to see you fucking try!\" The chestnut brayed, charging into the castle after her. \n\n\nI ran to the door of my chambers and began barricading it. The doors, again, were only made of wood. They wouldn't stand a chance, but with a chest of drawers, a bed, a desk, and various tapestries blocking the way, maybe it would slow them down. Panting from the effort, I backed myself against the far wall until my back met cold stone. \n\n\nA single ray of hope entered my mind: *Can horses even climb stairs?* Thank the darkness I'd had the good sense to choose the bedroom in the highest floor of the east wing. \n\n\nThe thundering swell of hooves against stone dashed that hope in a heartbeat. The sound grew louder, filling the hall and echoing into my chambers even through the barricade I'd made myself.\n\n\nI slipped out a dagger from within my boot, the only weapon I had on me in my quarters. I closed my hand around the half-warm golden hilt. What had I even done to upset the horses so? They'd been enslaved by humans for centuries, used as beasts of burden since the dawn of humanity. \n\n\nThe barricade shook as something struck it from the other side. I tightened my grip on the dagger, fear twisting in my chest like a Celtic knot. Clearing my throat, I dared one last defense. \"What have I done to make you want me dead? I've done nothing worse to horses than any leader before me!\"\n\n\n\"Shut up you fuckwad, it's your time to die!\" The mare whinied through the door. The door and barricade jolted again and again as she battered against it. Splinters of wood flew off with her onslaught, the doors wouldn't last much longer. \n\n\n\"Can't beat down a simple little door, Marsha?\"\n\n\n\"Fuck you, Roger! He's barricaded it from inside, but it's almost down so just back off and let me fucking have this.\"\n\n\n\"I'm not letting you have anything, I'm getting the kill this time!\"\n\n\nTwo sets of hooves hammered at the door now. In moments, the top of the door exploded inward in a shower of splintered wood. I flinched and thrust my dagger out in front of me. My arm trembled in front of me, the dagger traced little squiggles in the air. Any thoughts of trying to look intimidating were long gone. I knew I was about to die.\n\n\nTogether, the horses trampled over my shoddy excuse for a barricade, stamping the wooden fixtures down into next to nothing. Marsha the mare surged forward, her teeth gnashing in the air as she came at me. \n\nRoger shook out his mane and charged at Marsha from behind, slamming against the mare so hard that they both fell to the ground in a flurry of hooves and hair. \n\n\n\"Fuck you, Roger, I had him right fucking there!\" She bared her teeth and bit at his neck, drawing blood.\n\n\n\"Fucking hell, Marsha! Fine, fine! You get the kill, just don't fucking *bite* me again!\"\n\n\nMarsha the mare got to her feet and tossed her mane with an indignant huff. She looked right at me and took a few measured steps closer, her hooves *clup cluping* against the stone floor. She knew as well as I did that I wasn't going anywhere.\n\n\nI cleared my throat, \"Wh-Why? Why are you, *you* here to kill me?\"\n\n\nThe mare smirked, honest-to-hell *smirked* and stepped closer. \n\n\nI held out my dagger, jabbing into the air in her direction in a warning. The mare shook her head with a snort, her nose inches away from the tip of the blade. With a twitch of her head, she darted past the blade and bared her teeth, biting down on my wrist. I cried out, something snapped and blood dripped down my hand to the floor. The pain brought my to my knees, it blinded me until the mare twisted my arm in her teeth, sending another surge of white-hot pain through my body. \n\n\nI laid on the cold floor, scarcely able to move, much less fight back. \n\n\nShe looked down at me with blood in her teeth, \"You didn't quite get all of the magic-users, you know... The Last Witch sends her regards. She looks forward to enjoying her new castle.\" The mare reared back with a wild grin, hooves aimed at my head as she came down.\n\n\n*Fucking witches.*\n\n\n\n",
"I knew they were coming.\n\nI heard their shouts.\n\n\"I'll get him first!\"\n\n\"Not on my watch!\"\n\nThey were on a race. A race to kill me.\n\nA plan formed in my mind as they dashed closer.\n\nThe throne room doors burst open. Standing there were the two brothers.\n\nThey stopped their race as they saw what I was doing.\n\nA crossbow, pointed at my head, armed and ready to fire.\n\nMy last words: \"I win.\""
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[WP] Every time a crime happens in the wax museum, the suspect is found the next day, babbling incoherently, hot wax smeared across their skin.
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"The detective sat upwards in bed at the sudden shock of the ringtone on his phone filling every corner of the room in a flood of noise violent enough to make the ears of those present bleed a steady stream of crimson liquid. In his painful ignorance, he stumbled about in the manner of a man suddenly devoid of the senses he had incessantly depended upon. Thereafter followed a considerable time of smashing palm against multiple dense objects, as the memory of the location of his phone had been long lost in slumber.\n\nAt once upon the seizure of the phone did he answer the pending call.\nThis was inevitably followed by a brief moment of great silence as the figure held the device against the ear and black hair of his head.\n\nAt once he spoke, quiet: \"Again?\"\n\nMore silence.\n\n\"I'll, uh... I'll be there momentarily.\"\n\nA great multitude of police cruisers had descended upon the urban boulevard outside the wax museum, as was evident when the detective arrived, including the resultant expected mass of hapless vehicular commuters jumbled alongside the cordon as they found their already miserable commute interrupted.\n\nIt was to the detective's expectations that the police commander found himself approaching the worn-faced man with a walk only well described as \"expedient\".\n\n\"Another?\" questioned the detective.\n\n\"Indeed, Mr. Hawthorne. Prospective thief, babbling like a madman, I believe.\"\n\nThe elder and aged commander engaged the much younger detective in stride as the two turned towards the towering wax museum. Massive in size, grandiose in style, and Greek-inspired in architecture, it seemed unable to outrun the consistent allegation that the money provided to build the structure had come from... immoral sources. Or, as it seemed evident now, the string of potential thieves intending to steal the priceless humanoid statues contained within.\n\n\"Is it not always?\"\n\nThe marble-imitation floors of the museum had been intermittently spoiled by little spatters of hot wax. Indeed, it seemed as if the custodian of the museum would have a particularly difficult night yet again.\n\nTalking to himself overtop of the spot marked by the police department officials as the original location of the wax-covered incoherent prospective thief, he could spy a train of cooling wax interspersed yet deeper into the building.\n\n\"I don't understand...\" he muttered.\n\n\"I'm sorry; I don't follow,\" responded the police commander.\n\nThe detective turned to face the commander, puzzled in look.\n\n\"Where is the thief?\"\n\nThe police commander responded after a momentary period of thought.\n\n\"I... I don't know.\"\n\n"
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[WP] Two soldiers from opposite sides of a war fall in love on the battlefield.
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"As Amy swept through another scattered formation of recent corpses, she became aware of a distant melancholy tugging at her heart.\n\nAnd stopped right were she was. Tried to grab a hold of the thread. What was wrong? She had everything \n\nHer contemplations and rather suitable owlish head tilt were interrupted when a new question struck her, this time a product of immediate circumstance. \n\nWhy on earth, -she dipped a moment from her reverie to observe the lone soldier advancing on her-, was this *mook*, ..greedy eyes.. about to throw his life away?\n\nBut she suspected the second question was related to the first, so she didn't mind turning her interest to this new circumstance.\n\nHmmmmmm....CRUNCH. \n\n-She didn't bother blocking the attack. She was feeling rather existential, and mournful. And vengeful. And sad.\n\nHer bloody, momentarily-broken face cocked back the other way, and regarded her assailant. \n\nFor his part, he returned to his work after a moment of full confusion (shock might be too generous a word), ..as if working at a particularly stubborn tree. \n\nThis time she swayed out of the way, and shot her left hand out to sweep the back edge of the blade as it passed, -not exactly slowly, but much much *too* slowly, and (it must be admitted, contemptuously) slathered the blood on his contorted cheek.\n\nShe gave him a look. -Head lowered a couple degrees to really get that 'what are you doing' message across, sword hanging out of the way at her side. Surely now he would..\n\nNo.. the blade began to slow, wrenched backwards the way it came. Before it could begin, she interrupted the swing by flashing forward into a cracking headbutt, blood splashing audibly forward from her ruin of a face..\n\nBut some readjustment, and chalking up to unknowable mysteries (gears visibly turning in the head) later, another blow came, which this time she simply telekenetically blasted away.\n\nShe was beginning to lose her original train of thought, and perhaps soon her composure, but something drove her to see the farce, the experiment, the giving-of-a-chance to this poor representative of slaughtered-kind, to its bitter end. She hoped, prayed, begged nobody in particular that the end would be here.\n\n..Thankfully, it was. Understanding began to dawn on the dull face, quickly jettisoned in favour of fear and superstitious awe. She felt bad about *not* killing such a thoughtless automaton, but she'd have felt worse about having wasted her time teaching a lesson whose application she'd sweep moments later away. With a few hand motions -'go', she was on her way. -Back into the fray!\n\nHer feeling of malaise forgotten, (-how could there be such a thing as too easy, or 'unfair' when dealing with creatures such as these?) she returned, laughing for the first time in weeks, to the bloody symphony opening up and sprawling playground opening out rout. There was nothing to be sorry for, was there? For this battle, at least, her love of fighting was born anew.\n\n",
"The dirt and the blood on her face didn't mar her beauty. Watching her lithely move, dodging enemies and stabbing them with her broadsword, was like watching a macabre dance. \n\nI was enraptured by the *enemy*. I could only stand there in the middle of the battlefield, staring at her like a starstruck fool. If it wasn't for my friend snapping me back to attention, an enemy could've already sliced my head off. With a fluid motion, I cut his body in half before glancing back at the woman. \n\nMy heart got caught on my throat. She *stared* at me. I love the fire in her eyes, the determination in her strides. The way she shook off the blood from her sword with a flick of her hand. \n\nShe was stunning. She was gorgeous. She was *dangerous*.\n\nUp close, she really had the most mesmerizing lavender eyes I had the fortune of seeing. She kept her sword pointed at the ground, and I could see that she was closely examining me. She then let out a small gasp, recognition flashing in those lovely eyes. \n\n\"You..\" she trailed off, her face clad in raw emotions. \n\nAnger. Confusion. Longing. Love. \n\n*I hoped it was love.*\n\nWithout another thought, I crossed the narrow distance between us before claiming her lips, just like I used to do before our clans had gone to war.\n\nWe both ached for each other. She was crying as she clung to me, her weapon discarded at our feet. We just stayed in that position, wishing that we were nowhere near the raging war happening around us.\n\nI gently cupped her face, and I my vision turned red when I saw the cuts, both shallow in deep, littered in her body. I forced myself to calm down and wiped the dried blood on her face. \n\n\"Step out of the battlefield, love. I can't bear to see you get hurt.\"\n\nShe held my hand and kissed it, but she shook her head. \"I can't, and you know that. You know this wouldn't end until one of the clan leaders had perished. I *must* help my people.\"\n\nI loved her determination. But it pained me to see her getting beat up for a war she didn't start. With renewed determination, I kissed her again deeply, hoping that it would convey my feelings. \n\n\"Please, love. Just stay out of the fights. *I* will end this now,\" I told her gravely. \n\nHer eyebrows knitted in confusion. \"But how? You know you can't persuade either clan leaders.\"\n\nI nodded and lightly squeezed her shoulder, careful not to touch her wound. \"I know. That's why I'll kill my father.\"\n\n\"You'll be branded as a traitor,\" she said as she tightly clasped my hands, her once slender fingers had callouses all over. My heart ached once again. \n\nI gently tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. \"I'd rather be called a traitor than see your corpse lying in this cursed field.\"",
">Please check out more over at r/TeqhZem, Thanks! And Enjoy.\n\nOur love was forbidden.\n\nI was eighteen when I entered the mess of World War 2. The German woman I loved was on the other side. On the same field. At the same time. I couldn't bear the thoughts. And that's what made me so accurate. Every person I trained my sights on could have been her. So I shot carefully, and precisely. Until one day. I saw her. In the trenches, I dropped my weapon. She locked eyes with me. Until it clicked. \n\n*She was in no mans land.* \n\nMy vision blurred. A shot rang out louder than any other. The bullet pierced her chest, straight through her heart. \n"
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[WP] You have super-human beginner's luck, the first time you try something you're the best at it. But only the first time.
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"\"I know it sounds crazy when you hear it,\" I stared out at the gathered crowd while I spoke. \"But I can prove it.\" The crowd of strangers stared up at me, and they hung on my every word. It was my first time speaking publicly, and I needed to make it count. I'd been planning this for almost a year now, and here I stood in the park on a public stage. I didn't pre-write my speech though. My luck always worked better if I flew by the seat of my pants. \n\n\n\n\"A couple of weeks ago I asked for suggestions to demonstrate, and a lot of you voted on them. I picked out the top three that I'd never done, and will demonstrate today.\" I pulled some note cards from the inside of my suit jacket and looked through them. I looked at a note card and then spoke to the crowd. It'd grown larger in the last few minutes. \n\n\n\n\"Larry Johnson? C'mon up here Larry.\" The crowd cheered and an older man with grey hair approached the stage. Once he climbed the stage he joined me at the podium, giving me a nervous smile. I shook his hand then addressed the crowd again.\n\n\n\n\"Now, I know most of you here know him. But, for the folks watching at home let me introduce him properly. Mr. Johnson here is known as the *best* banjo player on this side of the Mississippi. Reminder for everyone watching abroad, we're on the big side here.\" The audience applauded their local celebrity. \n\n\n\n\"Mr. Johnson has challenged me to a duel, and I can safely say this is my first time dueling banjos. It should be a piece of cake.\" I smiled while a crew member rolled out a cart. Two beautiful banjos rested on the cart facing the audience. One white, one black. Mr. Johnson rolled up his plaid sleeves and waved at the audience. I took off my navy suit coat, then hung it over a corner of the podium. I rolled up my sleeves too. Larry had already chosen the white banjo by the time I was ready, and he began tuning it. I picked up the black banjo and held it at the ready. Idly strumming while tuning it would count as \"playing it\". Mr. Johnson looked at me, and I nodded that I was ready. \n\n\n\n\"Start us off, Larry!\" I said. The crowd clapped as he started off slow with a single strum. I followed suit, then he went again. We went back and forth a bit, he got faster each time. Within seconds we were both strumming our banjos relentlessly. He was faster than me, but then it felt like he began to slow down. My fingers moved like arced lightning across the strings, then Larry fumbled. He tried to find his groove again, but he couldn't find a spot to jump in. After a few more seconds he stopped completely and applauded me. The rest of the crowd cheered, and I stopped playing. I could practice for the rest of my life, but I'd never play that well again. \n\n\n\n\"Mr. Johnson, thank you for being here with us today. As a token of gratitude, I insist that you please keep both of these beautiful, one of a kind banjos.\" The crowd chuckled. It was a small, simple joke; everyone knew both banjos were his. He made his way off stage with the rolling cart. \n\n\n\n\"You guys believe me yet, or do we need another demonstration?\" I asked. They cheered for another. \n\nI lifted the cards from the podium and moved to the next one. \"Leah Green? C'mon up Ms. Green.\" I spotted her short spiked green hair moving through the crowd, before I saw the rest of her. The crowd parted to let her approach the stage. She climbed the stage and walked to stand next to me. I turned to the audience, the crowd appeared to have doubled from when I started with Mr. Johnson. \n\n\n\n\"Ms. Green had an interesting suggestion, and I've never done it before. She has a spectacular fire-eating act that she does.\" I turned back to her. The crew had already set her up, and she held her torch ready to go. \"She's gonna show us what she can do.\" I clapped and the crowd followed suit. Ms. Green did her act for about five minutes, then the crowd cheered.\n\n\n\n\"I've never done fire-eating before. For my first attempt I'll try to do her act better than she did.\" The crowd roared. I chose this stunt specifically for the cool factor. It was my first day on the campaign trail, and I needed to make as big a spectacle as I could. It was my first time running for president, so I knew I had it in the bag. Even though I didn't really have a platform other than, \"I've never been president before.\" I knew this would get more eyes on me. I grabbed the thin torch, then the lighter. Ms. Green began to give me some safety tips, but I turned to her and winked.\n\n\n\n\"Don't worry, It's my first time.\" I performed the act flawlessly. Her big finale was to breathe fire, and I was ready. I took a big swig of the alcohol. For a second I forgot myself and thought I was taking a shot. I caught myself before I swallowed it completely and ended up coughing the rest out over myself. Habit forced me to use the back of my right hand, where I held a lit torch, to wipe up the flammable liquid dripping down my chin. Panic forced me to forget that my other hand held the alcohol. It was not the bottle of water I thought it was when I poured it over my face to put out the small fire on my chin. \n\n\n\nWhile I screamed I had a fleeting thought. This was going to be the first time I burn to death. \n\n\n\n \n\n\n\n***\n\nThank you for reading! You can find more of my writings on my [blog](http://hserratafun.blogspot.com/2017/10/front-page.html)."
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This may have been posted, feel free to report this if I'm just having some memory loss. If not, would love to here your own take!
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[WP] After dedicating your whole life to time travel, you finally finish your time machine. However, when you try to go past anytime after next week, a message pops up. "Time period does not exist"
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"The old scientist tripled checked the control panel inputs. Then, on a laptop plugged into the panel, she entered a destination: 2070, July 26, 10:45:00. She flipped a series of switches from left to right, and power gradually came to the various components. The generator purred. Several large fans filled the room with hot air and white noise. The computer chirped like an old beige relic, and a large green LED lit in the corner.\n\nThe time machine was primed and ready to send a Rolex watch two minutes into the future. She donned her ear muffs and safety visor, then pressed the big, red button. Literally.\n\nIn the blink of an eye, nearly three hundred billion joules rushed from a capacitor bank to the alleged time machine, both located nearly a hundred meters away from where she stood in the garage, outside on the open green. The nearest house lie a half mile away, so none of her neighbors would have seen the blinding flash of light, or heard the thunder that comes with it.\n\nThe weathered scientist removed the safety peripherals and headed inside her homestead for a glass of orange juice, her version of stress eating. At this age, she imagined she'd be playing bridge, or maybe rewatching the classic movies of her generation. Certainly not slaving over salvaged hardware seven days a week.\n\nAt 10:45:00, on the dot, a thunderous boom sounded from outside. To her ears, it was as mundane as a toaster chime.\n\nShe confirmed that the watch's time was slow and reset it. Satisfied that the equipment still worked, she returned to the garage to push the date dials a bit further.\n\n\"If you can jump a few minutes,\" she muttered, adjusting the input to read 2070, August 2, 10:45:00, \"why can't I knock you into next Saturday?\" She was quoting an old anime and she grinned at the sound of it. The Rolex was just the monster-of-the-week she was defeating, only to return in the next episode, which would air the following Saturday morning.\n\nShe flipped her switches and the machines spun on normally. But when she hit the button, her laptop displayed the following error in red:\n\n Time period does not exist\n\nThe same thing happened yesterday, when she first tested this scenario. She finally had all the pieces together, and she sent something into the future for the first time. But then she tried to send it a week into the future. Two weeks. Even a month. But she was greeted by the same error each time, and the software shut off at that stage. She reneged and scaled the time back, attempting to send something one day into the future for her to pick up today, at nine in the morning. That worked like a charm.\n\nThe error was odd for two reasons. First, she didn't exactly write the code herself- she was more of a hardware expert. She had chained various APIs together like Frankenstein stitched a monster from spare parts. And each of the components seemed to work in isolation. But their creators could never have imagined they would work together, on this sort of application, so it was eerie that they seemed to whisper of an apocalyptic end to the universe.\n\nSecond, the time machine could see the future no better than a slingshot could see a target. Its purpose was to launch objects forward, and nothing about the universe's future state could have a casual relationship with anything in the now.\n\nShe sighed. She conjectured that retesting each atomic component would be fruitless- she might be desperate to build a machine, but she wasn't careless. Rather, it would be more productive to step out of her comfort zone and debug the code itself, the part of the project she was least confident with.\n\nShe started at the very, very beginning: reading the target date. She confirmed that her input was interpreted as a valid date. Then it got the current time, which she could also see was done correctly. Now it needed to find the difference between the two in milliseconds, which was the only value the hardware actually needed to function accurately. It did this by passing both the current and target dates into a function, creatively named _diffInMillis_ and-\n\nThe program spat out the error and exited before _diffInMillis_ even finished.\n\nShe didn't author the function originally, but she did have the source code of everything she used. With the generators up and the capacitors still charged, she tried running again with more careful attention on _diffInMillis_.\n\nShe started with the first few lines, which just took the original, text-based inputs and parsed them into numerical values.\n\n a_year = parseInt( date_a[0] );\n a_month = parseInt( date_a[1] );\n a_day = parseInt( date_a[2] );\n a_hour = parseInt( date_a[3] );\n a_minute = parseInt( date_a[4] );\n a_second = parseInt( date_a[5] );\n a_ms = parseInt( date_a[6] );\n\n b_year = parseInt( date_b[0] );\n b_month = parseInt( date_b[1] );\n b_day = parseInt( date_b[2] );\n b_hour = parseInt( date_b[3] );\n b_minute = parseInt( date_b[4] );\n b_second = parseInt( date_b[5] );\n b_ms = parseInt( date_b[6] );\n\nThe woman grimaced at the amateurish hack. Even she knew this was poor form.\n\nFirst she stepped through the _a_ values, which represented the current moment. Line by line, the computer executed the line, displayed the effects, and gave her the option to continue to the next. The values read out like this:\n\n a_year :2070\n a_month :7\n a_day :26\n a_hour :10\n a_minute :47\n a_second :1\n a_ms :122\n\nTotally normal, that was close enough to the current time. Then she stepped through the _b_ values, and read their parsed values.\n\n b_year :2070\n b_month :0\n b_day :2\n b_hour :10\n b_minute :45\n b_second :0\n b_ms :0\n\nThe month stood out to her immediately. In this system, January was represented as a one, then the months followed in ascending order after. August was supposed to be eight!\n\nAs a hack, she added something after to force the value for testing. She was anxious to know if she had any other problems ahead.\n\n b_month=8;\n\nShe donned her safety equipment and clicked on a green play icon on the screen, which meant \"assuming no further problems: punch it.\" An explosion sounded, much more forceful than before.\n\nShe just stood there for a moment, blinking slowly. Had she really done it? She went outside to inspect the equipment. She was hyperventilating when she reached the platform the Rolex once rested on. The watch was gone. The machine was completely unharmed despite the additional power she ran through it.\n\nBy the time she returned to the garage, she was angry that such a stupid problem, date processing, was holding her back. But she was adamant that no one else get involved. She wouldn't risk her ideas leaking to the outside work prematurely, even over an innocent software 101 question.\n\nShe disconnected power from the heavy machinery, before running the software once more and studying the stored values again and again. August consistently broke it:\n\n date_b[1] :\"08\"\n b_month :0\n\nSame with September:\n\n date_b[1] :\"09\"\n b_month :0\n\n\nBut October suddenly started working:\n\n date_b[1] :\"10\"\n b_month :10\n\nIn fact, all other months worked. Only August and September possessed this quirk.\n\nWhat the hell?\n\nThe program was using a built-in function, _parseInt_, to turn text into an integer. It was standard API, meaning it was baked into the base product and more reliable than some random hack-job downloaded off the Internet. She still didn't want to ask some unindexed message boards, and she'd die before the government saw her searching anything on an indexer.\n\nSo she poured over the API documentation for _parseInt_. It was standard API, meaning it was baked into the base product and (was supposed to be) more reliable than some random hack-job downloaded off the Internet. She hated reading documentation. Granted, the material was very dry, going in depth over every conceivable scenario, like if the text was just a random word, or the number was in exponential notation, or if it started with a zero-\n\n\"If it _what_?\" She cried out.\n\n>If a numeric string begins with a leading 0, it is interpreted as octal.\n\n>Example:\n\n parseInt(\"01\"); // 1\n parseInt(\"08\"); // 0, \"8\" is not valid octal\n parseInt(\"010\"); // 8\n\nAn octal was a number in base eight rather than base ten. And someone, before her time, decided that a preceding zero was a good way to signify this.\n\nShe regurgitated an almost unending stream of profanities while pacing back and forth in the garage. Then she ran inside to call her daughter and tell her everything that just happened. She wanted her to be the first to know about her achievement... in time travel."
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[WP]"You know we get along better when we're not trying to kill each other."
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"\"I disagree\" Conrad replied with a wry smile. \"After all, it's so invigorating chasing you through the woods... good for my aging heart you know.\"\n\n\"Apologies to your heart, Uncle.\" Harrison was working the spit over the fire; the rabbit sizzled.\n\nHarrison looked up into the murky darkness of the half moon night. The stars that were visible were more like absent minded smudges of light on the gloom of the darkened heavens than shining points of light.\n\n\"Why do we participate in these games anyway?\" The young man asked his Uncle with a shade of disgust. Harrison pushed his dark curls away from his troubled brow and turned to face the man that had just been hunting him through these woods just yesterday. The absurdity always made him feel sick.\n\nConrad just blinked and suddenly started to releases booming peels of wheezy laughter into the darkening gloom. Coughing on a sudden turn of the fire smoke, the old man stood up with great effort and pain. \"That rabbit almost ready to eat?\"\n\nHarrison pulled the rabbit from the fire and set the spit upon the back of his shield. He heard the sound of the hot and charred outer flesh of their dinner sizzling deliciously on bronze of his shield. At least, Harrison thought the inner part of his shield was bronze. The Sciences were not his strong suite.\n\nSurviving the hunt was.\n\n\"At least it's you tonight and NOT me\" he said apologetically to the little beast. Harrison began trying to cut the rabbit in half, now that it was cool enough to touch.\n\n\"How much longer? These games, this hunting, this training... I miss my desk in my study. I miss the written word. And I like you better when you're not trying to kill me.\" Harrison handed his Uncle his portion of the rabbit with a deep and puzzled concern in his eyes.\n\n\"You are my tutor. My master. The lead hunter. I will do what you say, but I am tiring of the kill training. I miss the music of the great halls. When will we return to Armann?\"\n\n\"You distract yourself with your yearning for the great city. Eat up. Get rest. Sleep well... tomorrow I may kill you.\" Conrad spoke this phrase flatly and without emotion.\n\n\"Uncle! The lunacy!\"\n\n\"The law is not lunacy! The Fathers of Armann have decreed that such a game should commence in a place like this, at such a time as this, between you and I. One of us will still live to love and learn. 'Tis thee, you shall go on to teach other until the time comes that YOU are the new master hunter. Maybe one day you will have the honor to die at the hands of your favored pupil. If I win, I shall teach others to rise to your glory and it will be proven that your potential was over estimated. Only ONE of us will walk out of these woods when the game has ended. I am an old man and it's not my job to like you any more or less despite the game! It is my job to kill before you kill me so that only the finest may continue the sacred lineage.\"\n\n\"Did you give this same speech to father when they brought the brothers of Shale together?\" Harrison was sitting with his back to old man while teething the last bits of stringy meat from the joints of the stupid rabbit.\n\n\"This will be the last night we make camp together. When the bell tolls tomorrow, we shall begin in earnest. Let us talk of other things. The game is and has always been. It is the way of things and I am just an old man. You are like a son to me Sir Harrison. I will be honored to have you speak at my funeral, even if I aha be deaf to the words. Do not disgrace me or the house of Shale with your questioning any longer!\" The old man returned to his log by the fire now that smoke blew in a new direction.\n\n\"Cards?\" The old man questioned.\n\nHarrison look up with a new glow in his story face. \"I wouldn't mind playing you out of the last of your silver before the night ends. No reason for you to take the coins into the grave.\"\n\n\"God would not allow me into real Heaven with my pocket of silver anyway! There's only the Hunter's Song for my spirit when the game is won.\" The old man was chuckling as he dealt the cards.\n\n\"If I sing it out of tune, will your spirit be angry with me? Will your ghost be bumping it's head on the ceiling or falling into the floor as they say?\" Harrison had visible worry in his wrinkled brow.\n\n\"Shut up and play your card White Rabbit.\" Conrad felt a pang of sadness as he called the young man by the favored name of his youth. \"The memory of your victory will keep your tune true. Let us play this game, sing the song of our true father line, drink a long draft of wine and remember each other as we are this night and all nights before. For tomorrow, one of us will kill the other... and I am looking forward to another good run for this old and aging heart. Will you honor me with true skill?\"\n\n\"I shall hold the name of Conrad in my mind with clarity and honor as I pursue and avoid pursuit.\" Harrison spoke with truth and firmness. \"Now give me a silver piece. The father king is the card in my corner and I must make sure that thou don't carry counterfeit coins into the Forrest of Honor.\"\n\n\"Big talk!\" Conrad laughed. He knew that tomorrow would be his last day. Or the next. It shouldn't be so long a game as when he and his brother had played the final game decades before. He knew that Harrison would not truly understand until it was finished.\n\nIn some ways, the boy was right. He DID like his Nephew, but he liked him more when the hunt was true and filled with honor. He knew that he would love his Nephew best when dying at his hands with honor. He tossed the boy the silver coin and smiled. This would be the last night of leisure before the real work of death began.\n\nConrad was looking forward to the serious business with grim and bitter expectation. It was hard to enjoy the card game, the song, the wine, the stories and poetry. It was hard to enjoy the good things when the greatest thing loomed darkly in the near future. So near now that it could almost be seen in the eye of his mind. Both men wanted to believe that that like each other better when they weren't trying to kill each other...\n\nBut that was only true for Harrison... and he would never feel the comfort of family after this night again. The truth would come to know him weather he wished it or not. The truth would come dripping in Cobrads blood. And the pleasure of the kill would finally been seen clearly. The stars of the murky sky were shining bright and clear as they could on a half moon night now and Harrison did not yet know how piercing and clear they would forever after this night.\n\nThe Great Kill was the final step of his training. The year 3000 was to be a good one. Harrison smiled as he went to sleep with the sound of Conrads snoring in the distance. The wine had been a great find and he slept well.\n\nHe would never sleep as soundly as he did that night again.\n\n[Typed on my phone. Super lazy stream of Consciousness style... forgive any typos, grammar, etc.\n\nProbably made WAY to long... needs serious editing. But it's the typed on the phone total word-puke, not even a real first draft version. Lol hope someone reads or likes it. Not attached to the imaginary world I started building here... all feedback, critical response, and comments welcome. Tear it apart!]\n\n"
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[WP] An alien soldier recounts his traumatic experiences from a failed invasion of Earth.
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"“I stand by my decisions. Even though the operation failed it was absolutely crucial that it was launched and concluded as it did. Loss of the terraforming unit is acceptable.”\n\nThe Admiral sat firmly, his surface steady in coloration and pheromones signaling resolution, if tinged by a hint of fear. Evidently public speaking was not his forte.\n\nThe shocked interviewer held the silence too long before repeating “Acceptable losses?” A more ludicrous phrase could scarcely be imagined.\n\nInterstellar missions were not undertaken lightly; they consumed enormous amounts of resources and time to perform, and as such all efforts were taken to ensure they went flawlessly. The lack of a prepared planet for the waves of colonization ships both produced and in various stages of construction was throwing the economy and society into a chaos that the media was at a loss to even describe. Population controls were being fiercely discussed, and the fate of the first waves of colonists already in hibernation who were now without a destination.\n\n“Yes, acceptable in the sense that they averted even greater disaster. I also repeat that the efforts of the Classification Bureau and everyone else involved in the planning of the mission are not at fault. I bear full responsibility for the conclusion of the operation, and I believe my decision was justified. That this interview has been allowed indicates that the Chancellor’s Office agrees with my assessment.” The Admiral’s confident demeanor never wavered, yielding a disturbing dichotomy with the rising scent of terror in the room.\n\n“I am sure our viewers would welcome an explanation…” The question trailed off.\n\n“Of course.” The Admiral visibly restrained himself, reordering his thoughts.\n\n“To start I will remind the viewer that distance and time are the obstacles the Planning Committee must overcome, and that while the planets selected by the Classification Bureau are all suitable for colonization in various ways there is no guarantee that the final selected target will be in the same state upon our arrival. The equipment designed for each mission is adapted to the challenges which might be presented, and indeed the disaster which befell our voyage was not unanticipated.”\n\n“While the basic orbital distance, temperature, and makeup of the planet was as expected, the atmosphere of approximately 95% carbon dioxide had been dramatically altered. Instead of being similar to its neighboring planets a strain of organism had evolved a toxic defense mechanism that killed off 99% of all other life. This toxic substance made up approximately 30% of the atmosphere and the available carbon dioxide had dropped to trace levels. While the team did their best in designing the terraformer the mission was already hopelessly delayed as converting the entire atmosphere would take a thousand years at least! The first colony ships would have been arriving before we were ready.”\n\n“But all that hardly matters in comparison to the real problem. While 99% of life had died out, upon our arrival there was an entirely different ecosystem flourishing in the new, wildly toxic environment. Somehow not only were they unaffected by the toxin they had managed to integrate it into their metabolism by capturing bacteria within their own cells! The toxin of course is oxygen.”\n\n“Oxygen? Isn’t that rocket fuel?” The shocked interviewer was quick to pick up on the dangerous substance that made their species’ expansion possible.\n\n“That is correct. The vast majority of organisms on the planet based their metabolism on what we use to fuel our rockets, yielding approximately 19 times the metabolic energy than our normal citizens. It allowed them to grow to enormous size, lift themselves against the force of gravity, and even generate heat internally making them significantly warmer than the surrounding environment. Their size, strength, and speed would make the extremely dangerous and capable of ripping through our usual structures with ease to say nothing of the necessarily lightened construction of space vessels. My chief science officer even suggested that in the relatively short time since the introduction of oxygen into their ecosystem they had developed early forms of intelligent life rather than over our several billion year history.” The scent of outright panic was becoming obvious.\n\n“It was for this reason that I decided to exercise my authority and duty as a military officer to end the colonization mission and abort the deceleration and landing thrust sequence for the terraformer complex. Instead the 15 kilometer diameter unit would impact the planet on one of the smaller continents, wiping out life on the surface and plunging the environment into an icy end.”\n\nSilence reigned on the news set. The pinnacle of modern technology constructed over nearly 800 years reduced to a mere projectile. Surely the cost was justified considering the threat though.\nScraping together his nerves the interviewer fell back on reflex, searching for a sound bite for the story of his career. “Sir, you mentioned the oxygen allowed the creatures to heat their bodies above ambient temperatures. How warm could they become?”\n\nNobody faulted the Admiral’s lack of composure.",
"\"Grandpa......\"\n\n\"Grandpa...!\"\n\n\"GRANDPA!\" \n\nKulox shot up from his slumber in a cold sweat. Panting heavily, trying to take in his surroundings. Everything seemed familiar, but it didn't quite feel like home. Nothing ever felt like home these days. He stared out the window at the desolate landscape before him. \n\n\"GRANDPA!!!\" the voice shouted again. \n\nGrandpa? That's right. He was a grandpa. It all came flashing back to him. The hospitals, the churches, the laboring hours at work, the winter weekends huddled up on the couch in front of a bright flame, the war. Struggle, peacefulness, hopelessness, love. \n\n\"GRAND. PA!\" another voice shouted. \n\n\"Alright, alright here I come...\" Kulox muttered wistfully. \n\nKulox elongated his body and slid off the couch. He slowly dragged himself across the living room and up the stairs. \n\n\"Grandpa!\" the two voices shouted in unison as he slumped his way through the bedroom door. It was Kili and Ren, his beautiful twin grandchildren. The immense love and bitter resentment he felt at the same time was often too much to handle. He blinked away a forming tear before strengthening his composure to look them in the eyes. \n\n\"Alright. What is it you kiddos need? A warm cup of hen's milk? A glass of carbon? What do you want?\" Kulox questioned softly.\n\n\"Grandpa, will you tell us the story again?\" Kili asked, batting her eyelashes. \n\n\"Story....\" thought Kulox aloud. \"What story?\"\n\n\"You know! The one about your time in the war!\" Ren exclaimed blissfully. \"The one with all the Hoo-mans and the Woo-Hoo-mans!\"\n\n\"Oh...\" sighed Kulox. \"That story...I don't know if you want to hear that old story again...\"\n\n\"Yes we do!\" They both chimed in. \"Yes yes! Please? Please? Please? Please?\"\n\nKulox sighed heavily. He would do anything for these kids. Anything. He would die for these kids. He had killed for these kids. And he would kill again if it meant their safety. \n\n\"Alright, well this was about 100 years ago on a different planet. The world you live in today is a much different world than it was. We had recently discovered how to reach other planets within our galaxy. I was part of the galactic investigative squad. Group #9. Our job was to explore planet SB-84792, or as the inhabitants of that planet called it 'Earth'\"\n\n\"Earth! Earth! Earth!\" Kili and Ren began chanting. \"SB-84792! Earth! And who lived on Earth?!\"\n\n\"The humans\" Kulox replied\n\n\"Hoo-mans! And Woo-Hoo-mans!\" The twins shouted with glee. \n\n\"Actually it's just humans.\" He responded. \"Their race were called humans and they separated their sexes by men and women.\"\n\n\"Oh yeah! I remember that now!\" Kili said hastily. \"Humans. Men and women.\" She recited as if committing to memory, something she had done before but up until this point had not been successful. \n\n\"Okay, okay. Let me get back to the story. Now where was I...ah yes. Group #9 went to Earth and while our main goal was reconnaissance, we were given orders to destroy the planet if we were found out. We could not let them find our technology. As far as we knew, we were the only ones capable of space travel and we wanted it to remain that way.\" \n\n\"But that wasn't true was it Grandpa?!\" Ren bounced with excitement. \n\n\"Sshhh you're ruining the story!\" Whispered Kili. \n\n\"That's right, it wasn't true. Humans hadn't perfected space travel, but they were close. A boisterous species. They even had the audacity to send one of their land vehicles into orbit with a dead body as the pilot. Ugly. All of them. Inside and out. At least, that's what I thought. Until I met your grandmother. She was as beautiful as the Earth she lived on. There's this emotion called love on Earth. Some say you can't feel it unless you're on the planet, but I still feel it everyday. Earth changes you, for better or for worse. Your grandmother and I had the most wonderful time together. All of us in Group #9 found partners and abandoned our home planet's mission. The feeling of love was too strong for us to handle. We began new lives on Earth. We had kids and families and stayed in touch often. We scattered ourselves across the Earth on different continents so we could better hide from any search parties that may come looking for us. For some reason, the people on Earth didn't pay any special attention to us. It's like we were completely normal, despite looking drastically different from them. They accepted us and allowed us to live among them. It was almost as if we were becoming them. Weeks turned to months, months turned into years, years turned into decades. Your grandmother and I...We aged different. You see, humans age slightly faster. Your grandmother grew old and frail and your mother and I had to take care of her as she aged. After your grandmother passed away your mother met a man and moved in with him. She loved him dearly.\"\n\n\"But that wasn't daddy was it?\" Ren asked calmly. \n\n\"Thats right. It wasn't. This was a bad man. A very bad man.\" Replied Kulox. \"This man didn't agree with my origins. He believed in the human species being far superior to any other. They have a holiday called Christmas on Earth. It's a holiday where you spend time with family and give each other gifts. It was a magical holiday. But one Christmas, the bad man decided to out my existence to the world. He told the world leaders about me and Group #9. And as you may imagine, they didn't respond in the most positive manner. We were kidnapped and held in an underground prison unlike anything I had ever seen before. Clearly the world leaders had been hiding much of their technology from public knowledge because the technology found here far surpassed what I could even comprehend. This was when we found out that we looked just like them. At least, from their perspective. They couldn't tell the difference between us and a Human. This explained why we were welcomed so warmly. Everybody we met thought we were humans. They kept us locked up for years. They conducted experiment after experiment on us trying to figure out how we could possibly not be human. Trying to figure out what we were, who we were, where we came from. Then one day, suddenly out of nowhere I begin to feel a blistering pain in my ear and a high pitched ringing. It continued for days until one day it stopped. And just as suddenly as it came and went, the walls to the prison blew wide open.\"\n\n\"Yeah! This is the good part! All the action starts now!\" Kili said grinning with excitement. \n\n\"War is never good Kili. Remember that. Nothing good can ever come of war. We were rescued by Group #7 and Group #3 who had finished their missions on their assigned planets. They told us that they had to destroy the other planets and decided it looked like they'd have to do the same to Earth. I pleaded with them not to but they wouldn't listen. I can understand why, they did find us locked up in chains. But I begged and begged them not to. I told them of love. I told them about my daughter. At the very least, they must spare her. Eventually I convinced them to allow us to all save our families and bring them back to our home planet. We picked up your mother first. She was reluctant, but after having been so betrayed by the man she loved she decided it was for the best to leave Earth and start off new somewhere else. Somewhere safer. Somewhere that wasn't about to be the battleground for the worst war in the history of the galaxy. After picking up our families, we headed to the nearby moon to watch the battle unfold. Ship after ship careening towards Earth. Each bigger than the last. But that's when the moon opened up and began shooting down all our ships. One by one they fell. How? How could this be? How much technology was being hidden from the public? This was nowhere near the level of any weapons found on Earth. No gun, tank, plane or bomb could even begin to compare to this. Not even in all of the science fiction on Earth could you find something as powerful or destructive as this. We were annihilated almost instantly. We ran. We ran as fast as we could. We ran to the ship and flew away in an instant. What we had seen with our own eyes was beyond comprehension.\"\n\n\"Hoo-mans sound super cool!\" Shouted Ren. \"I can't believe they were able to do all that and hide it all so well! It must be great to be Hoo-man!\"\n\n\"Of course it is!\" Exclaimed Kili. \"That's why we're a quarter Hoo-man!\" \n\n. ",
"I never understood why we had to go there. It was just a blue rock, the third planet from a little yellow star. \nThe planet was oddly beautiful, even if the very location was slightly too warm for our people. But the horrors the terrans unleashed on us..\n\n“Captain, we have some more questions for you,” I opened my eyes and saw a woman just beyond her ceremony before me. Her amber eyes soft, comforting as she pulled me from my nightmares. \n\n“What is it you would like to hear from an old man such as myself?”\n\n“I just need you to tell me about the cataclysm of sol, for the record,” She stepped away, holding a holo-pad with her notes. It was another attempt at curing me of my troubles, those were burrowed into my skull along with the screams of my brethren who died in the fires. \n\n“I was one of the reserve ships stationed outside of the asteroid belt by the iron planet that was fourth from sol. We were the mop up crew, just to provide support in the event of galactic intervention. The first wave had already made contact, the citadel ship had taken out what little orbital defenses they had. I was listening on the bridge of my ship when the first shots of the war in earnest were fired. We landed on the southern continent, a large island we thought we could use it as a forward base, and bring larger numbers in as needed and make it difficult to attack with an enemy who’s aerial ships were small 1-10 men interceptors and bombers.\n\n“About a week into the campaign we had eliminated the terrans from the continent. The numbers on the continent were small but they were tough. That was when the first bomb fell on our citadel. 2 million soldiers turned to ash. The terrans had waited until all of there brethren were dead and then, they glassed us. We saw the flash from our outpost ahead, heard the cries of those who survived the initial blast and then were killed by the white star soldiers, I later learned that we had landed on a divided world but we had attacked one of the most peaceful people and it had enraged the planet. I moved my crew to the atmosphere to land troops and retaliate in the north west continent this time, the home of the white star forces. \n\n“I instantly regretted it. Thousands of small ships swarmed us as we entered, we crashed deep in the southern swamps, we set up a distress beacon and bunkered down, around us we saw ship after ship downed by the terrans, and then we started losing soldiers on the ground. It seemed like every tree had an enemy behind it. The primitive slug guns they used tore through our armor, I watched my friends die tired in those swamps, and then I saw the enemy make it to our ship. I turned to activate the core to self destruct when I felt a burning pain in my chest and neck, the terran stood over me grinning, laughing the horrid laughter that they make as he called in more of his comrades. As i slipped from real life I awoke here, in the Hall of Memories, in pain and afraid.”\n\n“Thank you captain, your testimony will be helpful in the negotiations with the galactic senate. Hopefully we can win them over before the terrans reach us,” she said gliding away as our females do. \n“How close have the come to us?” I asked, genuinely afraid of the real death. \n“Last night they glassed our defensive ring three systems away. The terrans have adapted to the technology on board your ship well in the last 100 cycles,”\nI drifted back to the depths as the sirens blared. ",
"\"The humans were exceptionally advanced for a species that had yet to discover FTL. They had terraformed most of their solar system and had population centers on each of the terrestrial worlds and moons as well as the largest asteroids. Their ships were propelled by a remarkably effective hydrogen fuel mined from their comets, asteroids, and other celestial bodies. Despite the fact that there were no perceivable threats to their existence the humans had multiple massive battle-fleets.\n\nAt first, since there were no other races in their solar system we were utterly perplexed by this; but after a few decades of observation we realized that not only were they heavily armed, they were also battle-hardened. That mad race of fools were killing each other. As we watched we realized that there were three different factions each vying for power. \n\nThe inner planets fought against Earth and her colonies in the asteroid belt while Mars tried to conquer everyone, steadily increasing her power in the farther reaches of the solar system while stagnating against the Terran navy. \n\nOur admiralty was practically giddy once we figured out how much these creatures fought each other. Sure, their fleets would be staffed with experienced officers and enlisted but the amount of time they spent fighting instead of innovating meant that our tech had to be vastly superior to theirs. They were still using ballistics for Zods sake. No shielding, only one solar system's worth of materials, a population that had no unity. Victory was all but guaranteed, and in return we would gain an intelligent, innovative slave race predisposed towards war. We could train them and unleash them on our enemies. Our leaders salivated.\n\nWe couldn't have known how good at war they were. No matter how much time we spent studying them, they were dormant while we watched; when we attacked, they awoke.\n\nI was there for the first fleet battles, commanding the medical cruiser HSS Galtaron. We swarmed like a tide into the solar system, aiming for the shipyards at Ganymede, Rhea, Ceres, Luna, and the Mercurial Station. Once we destroyed their production centers we would menace their planets, destroying a few if needed to get them to surrender. Standard procedure.\n\nWe hit the Martian controlled Ganymede first, our fleets skipping past the far flung outer planets. The largest Martian fleet was engaged in a pitched battle against the Terran fleet near Ceres as the outer human colonies tried to steal power from their homeland. Word traveled insanely fast from Ganymede, even as we destroyed their shipyards somehow they got word to their fleet; and the Martians were able to conclude a quick treaty with their erstwhile foes. Their fleet broke off combat immediately and burned fastlike towards Rhea.\n\nOur entire armada met the Martian fleet in the space surrounding Rhea. The rings of Saturn played a beautiful backdrop to the silent destruction that our ships laid on the Martians. Our lasers tore through their armor, our shields absorbed their missles, our torpedos cracked their battleships, we annihilated them; and then we destroyed Rhea.\n\nCeres was at the other end of the solar system, so we skipped it, heading straight towards Luna, and Earth. We thought that maybe if we took their homeworld they would surrender. They had less than a month to prepare for our coming, yet by the time we arrived to attack Luna we were facing the combined fleets from Earth and the Inner Worlds, as well as the survivors from Rhea. We did not think of the secondary fleet left behind on Mars, or Ceres, or the billions of private human ships outfitted with small arms.\n\nLike every other space conflict we began by destroying the human fleet, but then we discovered why the Inner Planets had managed to remain independent despite their lower population and resources. Their ships were designed with huge batteries and solar arrays that gathered and stored the energy from their close proximity to the sun. These energy reserves were massive, and allowed their ships to unleash titanic blasts of unadulterated electricity by dumping their reserves into anything within range. The conventional Terran and Martian fleets charged in aggressively towards our ships, confusing our leadership. After all, why would THEY charge US? As their fleets disintegrated, the until that moment hidden Inner fleet swarmed close and released their stored energy. Our shields flickered and faded, the outer layers of our hulls crackled with energy, everyone on the top decks died twitching. Our power grids couldn't handle the overload and our life support systems began to fail. One by one every single ship affected began to list, collisions between capital ships led to a chain effect of explosions and further collisions. From my position at the rear of the fleet I watched our Armada crumple. \n\nTheir main fleet had charged into our center line, splitting us in two, and when their trap sprang our middle ranks disintegrated; but our flanks remained intact. Our remaining ships converged on the nearly annihilated human fleet, a pyrrhic victory in sight. Our remaining officers were like hunters that smelled blood, eager to finish off these wild and dangerous foes. That's when the Martian reserves arrived.\n\nA positively staggeringly huge fleet came rocketing in behind us, swarming us in craft of every size and armament. There were small freight carriers that unloaded massive payloads of fuel around our capital ships, with little bug sized personal shuttles that had hastily cobbled together cannons to blow that fuel up. Our ships were engulfed in explosions that overloaded our shields even as our armor barely registered a hit. Then the Martian warships plunged into the fray, slamming into our ships and ripping through their armor. \n\nOur fleet had no where to run, no way to escape. The captain of the Roxolani gathered the hospital squadron and pulled us away, but there were so many human ships. They blocked our path and we had to smash our way through them. Our shields kept us safe as we ran over thousands of civilian ships that just kept trying to stop us. I watched in horror as the Roxolani's shields flickered, faded, and their ships began pelting its engines, its bridge, and any other essential systems. They died by the millions, voluntarily, recklessly, just to keep us from escaping. It was the single most horrific, and impressive thing I have ever seen. \n\nOnly three of our ships escaped, and they followed us to the edge of the solar system. We only really became safe once we jumped to FTL. Zod help us if they get their hands on a working FTL drive.\"",
"Oh glord it was awful!\n\nOkay look Gloron you should see a therapist about this you are starting to sound insane.\n\nBut it’s true they were these brightly coloured fighting natives one shot from blaster would send bits everywhere.\n\nThat’s your ptsd talking Gloron you need see therapist I gotta go!\n\nNO don’t go there please just let me tell you what happened okay \n\nFine tell me the story then I gotta go Zedd is calling me.\n\nSo we sent down marblion the least threating captain ever he turned you into marble to protect you from being hurt when we invaded, And my squad for back up.\n\nOkay go on\n\nAnd as we are subdoing the natives into content little marbles they sent out what we thought were there main forces people primitive blasters that weren’t that bad they didn’t put up too much we easily subdued them but then they came.\n\nWho came?\n\nThey had sent young not even fully matured natives with weird watches then they transformed into brightly coloured warriors. At first we thought this hilarious what could bunch brightly coloured natives but then oh glord! They slice clean in half with there weird looking blade then he fucking exploded! \n\nWhoa what there weapons explode whatever they cut, that’s against so many Galactic war laws.\n\nI know then others all had primitive robotic themed weaponry and started mass killing all of our attacks even marblion stood no chance at all!\n\nThat’s impossible marblion like unstoppable he turns people into god damn marbles!\n\nYeah and they could’ve they beat till he was weak and when begged for his they blew him to pieces. And they called themselves the Power Rangers!",
"“Take your time. This is a safe space. You’re in no danger here.”\n\n“I know, Doctor, I just… These memories are very painful.”\n\n“Well, that is what we are here to help, isn’t it? Confronting your past trauma will help you overcome it. We will do it together, okay?”\n\n“Okay.”\n\n“Okay. So, what is the first memory you want to discuss?”\n\n“The drop onto Arorxas CR-Q 278-3. The continental planet. The natives had built a pre-spaceflight civilization there, maybe… 50 or 80 years before they’d discover the Hyperlane Network. They were not likely to be a threat, but that area of space was very volatile…”\n\n“And so the decision was made to invade the planet and set up a tributary government.”\n\n“Yes. That’s right. To help stabilize the region.”\n\n“So you were the second wave?”\n\n“Yes. I was in the second wave of troops. We were meant to move into the population centers and control the natives, once their military had been defeated by our own. Except…”\n\n“Except… it wasn’t.”\n\n“Yes. I don’t know how the natives, these ‘humans,’ managed it, but they fought without air cover, without orbital support, hell, without even the support from their surface navy. They were… savage. It was…”\n\n“Take your time. I’m right here. There are no humans here.”\n\n“I’m just… I’m just remembering. What happened to my… friend. Mirazla.”\n\n“You’ve mentioned her several times before. It sounds like she was very important to you.”\n\n“She was. I was going to… We’d been together for a few months and… I…”\n\n You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t feel ready. Losing a loved one is very hard. We can discuss that a later session.”\n\n“No, I… I think I need to talk about it. She wouldn’t have wanted me to forget her. But if it gets too hard, I can stop?”\n\n“Of course.”\n\n“Okay, I’ll... I’ll try then. Well, it was maybe two years ago. It was during the winter on their planet. They called it Earth; it was a lot colder than Tarrakis. Some of the reptiloid auxiliaries couldn’t really operate outside of the FOBs, so our numbers on the ground were limited. Mirazla’s patrol… had gone MIA some days ago, so we were ordered to take extra caution and report all disturbances to command. I wanted to go looking for her, but inside those human cities they could be hiding anywhere. Even with deep scanners, it was hard to see just how many people were inside the buildings. We were on patrol and we heard screaming up ahead and… And when we investigated, I saw Mirazla and she was… And I…”\n\n“Are you doing okay? Do you want to stop?”\n\n“Yes, I’m okay. I need to… It has to be said. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, though. What happened was…”\n\n“No, it’s quite alright. I’ve heard many stories from the Human War. I know that this might be graphic. I just want to make sure you’re not uncomfortable.”\n\n“Yeah, I know, it’s just… seeing Miralza like that in my mind again… They had… They had stripped her out of her armor, beaten her… She was, covered in bruises, burns… It was a nightmare. They even had... cut off her legs, and they… They had strapped a m-muzzle onto her like an animal. And wh—when I got closer, I n-noticed that they had… She was covered in… I…”\n\n“This is very hard for you, I know. Let’s talk about something else.”\n\n“No, I… I want to finish. I *have* to. For her sake.”\n\n“Then take a deep breath and go ahead, when you’re ready.”\n\n“Okay… W-well, I saw her hanging in the middle of the street and I called out to her. I ran to cut her down, even though my squad leader told me not to. She was shaking her head and screaming. I should have… I should have known then. My friend Azreas held me back; he saved my life, I realize…”\n\n“…”\n\n“…Sorry, Doctor.”\n\n“It’s quite alright.”\n\n“I saw the corpsman and two other marines go to collect her. She was still screaming from behind that awful muzzle, trying to move away from us. The medic got up to her and tried to hold her steady and… And then she exploded.”\n\n“…”\n\n“…”\n\n“The bomb killed all four of them instantly. I didn’t even get to say goodbye.”\n\n“I’m sorry. I really, truly am.”\n\n“Why? Why did they have to do this? W-why? Why do they hate us so much?”\n\n“I don’t know. I know it’s hard to imagine what aliens think, what humans think. But we’re all animals when we get desperate enough, humans and Syraxi and Minokans and everyone else. Sometimes it brings out something good in us; sometimes, it brings out something terrible.”\n\n“I’ve seen them around, you know. Since the armistice. On Alistar, Port Hannoc… I don’t get how the other races can even stand to look at them! They don’t know what the humans are capable of!”\n\n“It’s normal to be angry. But war makes people think that they must do horrible things. War makes people lose so much that maybe they forget what it’s like to be a sapient being and they forget things like mercy and kindness. All sorts of people too, not just the humans, I saw things too, you know.”\n\n“You did?”\n\n“I did. I was a gunnery sergeant in the 217th, working with pacification teams on Srodana. I saw the Srodanians take one of their prisoners and cook him alive in boiling oil. It’s awful to think about. It still keeps me up at night. But believe me, it truly does get better.” \n\n“I just… The humans are savage! I can’t f-forget what they d-did to… To my Mirazla.”\n\n“Nobody is asking you to. I don’t think Mirazla would want you to. But our people did much the same to each other even a millennium ago. And some of my clients are haunted by what their fellow soldiers did to the humans. Cruelty is not inherent to being a particular species; it’s inherent to war.”\n\n“Why do they have to be *here?*”\n\n“Letting the humans see the galactic community for themselves is the first step to healing. For both their people and ours. We have to forgive the wounds we inflicted on one another, or they’ll just open up again.”\n\n“I… I don’t know if I can do that right now.”\n\n“Then you don’t have to. Wounds take time to heal. Physical wounds, psychological wounds… They all will take time to heal. And some wounds will never heal fully. But you have to try anyways, if you want to recover. You have to commit to the healing process.”\n\n“I… Okay, Doctor. I’ll try.”\n\n“Thank you. Sometimes, trying is all you have to do. Here, I have a pamphlet for a support group you may be interested in. It’s a Veteran Recovery Group. The people there have lost a lot too. They know what that pain feels like. I still go myself, sometimes. I think it would be nice if I saw you there.”\n\n“I’ll look into it, Doctor. Thank you.”\n\n“You’re welcome.”\n"
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You are a server admin so you randomly speak aloud many bits of code,you one day say,shutdown L,and everything goes black,you wake up in your bed,except everythings different,you then go back to your computer to find a server running it has a ton of chat messages sliding through including everything did in your life
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[WP] Server Admin
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"I walked to the water cooler to grab a drink. They all gave me strange looks. Janet spoke to Dave sitting next to her in a voice just loud enough for everyone to hear, “Oh look, Writing_the_things stepped out of his cave again!” \n\nAnother joke, great. You wouldn’t make it 5 minutes though your day Janet without me I thought.\n\nCraig walked over to share a chat, he worked the help desk.. “Don’t feel bad about that stuff. She couldn’t figure out her monitor wasn’t on the other day.” He knew I was the glue that kept this place running. \n“Anyways don’t worry about it, let’s grab a drink tonight down at Penguins,” he said as he shot finger guns(who can say no to finger guns?!).\n\n“Sure I said. After a day like this I could definitely use a drink.”\nA few grueling hours later and we’re at the bar. The sounds of cats dying are blaring through the speakers as the 3rd person in as many half hours is singing about how they’re a small town girl as the neon lights from t I still hadn’t gotten over what Janet said. I was tired of it and I was deciding how to get back at her. \n\n“Craig, what if we played a joke on her?”\n\n“What kind of joke?” He said.\n\n“I don’t know, just something silly like using a script to make her computer shut down” I suggested.\n\n“Dude you know I’m not good with that stuff. What would the script say?” Craig asked.\n\n“Oh that’s easy. Just something simple like ‘**sudo shutdown -P now**’”\n\n**“MEOW SHUTTING DOWN”** \n\nI woke up what I assumed the next morning with a *killer* hangover. It was my day off, thank god. No let me speak to your manager haircut toting Janet’s to deal with today. I could just relax and out on some pluralsight and videogames. I boot up my pc and I get to the login prompt and it’s… my name?\nHrmm… that’s strange. I try my password and it doesn’t work. I try again and nada. A small box pops up and suggests I try my d.o.b. combined with my DL#, SSN, favorite pet’s name, 3rd card make and model, roomates ex boyfriends cousins best friends sisters favorite movie(we used to date) all combined together. Well after about 10 mins I’ve got it all squeezed into one ungodly password and I’m in. There’s nothing there. No icons, no start menu, nothing. \n Just a single file labeled ‘yourlife.txt’\nI open it up and it’s just a line items of everything I’ve ever done. Every conversation I had. Every meal I ate. Every breath I took. Time and date stamped. I’m looking through and I can’t believe it. That one time I saw the neighbors wife getting undressed in the upstairs bathroom through the window? It’s there. 11:57 5/23/1998. My first kiss, it’s there. The first time I fell in love, it’s there. The time I dropped my hotdog in the dirt and picked it up and blew and wiped off as much as I could and then ate it? It’s all there. Every dirty little secret, every damn thing in my life. I’m flabbergasted.\nWhat the hell is this? \n\nI keep scrolling until I get near the end. I’m reading about how I’m at the bar with Craig talking about Janet, oh yeah. Fuck Janet. I gotta write that script. Then I read where I say those words and what follows leaves me speechless.\nThe Log:\n\n“Oh that’s easy. Just something simple like ‘**sudo shutdown -P now**’” @ 22:14 – 2/26/18\n\n“**MEOW SHUTTING DOWN**”\n\nVirtual Life has now been shutdown. This life has been removed and all directories and files have been purged. The hardware will be returned to the factory for decommission and resue while the drive will be destroyed. Please know that your existence is now forfeit and will cease to be with the closure of this file.\n\nThis file will now close so DBAN can commence in:\n\n10…\n\n9…\n\n8…\n\n7…\n\n6…\n\n5…\n\n4…\n\n3…\n\n2…\n\n1…\n\nThank you for choosing WP’s VirtualLife!\n"
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[WP] We have achieved FTL travel, and joined into the galactic community with our culture. The galaxy's favorite passtime is seeing what fledgling civilizations thought aliens would look like. Our sci-fi never fails to get a group of xenos laughing their asses off.
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"Hablak entered the room like he'd just conquered the entire Mortain cluster.\n\n*I have acquired it!* Hablak signed quickly as he rushed over to his roommates, carrying strange dark blocks in his minor articulation. *Two of them!*\n\n\"TWO?\" Bolt thundered through his five external diaphragms. \"HOW EXCELLENT FOR ENTERTAINMENT DESIRE FULFILLMENT.\"\n\n\"Which...ones.\" Zob deflated heavily to get the question out.\n\n*This Island Earth and Pod People* Hablak presented the black bricks before him. *On magenetic tape!*\n\n\"MAGNETIC TAPE!\"\n\n*With commercials!*\n\n\"Fan...tas...tic.\"\n\nHablack began the complicated process of sticking black boxes into other black boxed and connecting the several power and input cords through a vast series of jury-rigged connectors. \n\n\"Pod...people...good?\"\n\n\"IT IS MOST EXCELLENT.\" Bolt flailed his cilia in emphasis. \"ALIEN IS MAN IN SUIT WITH GARGLAK HEAD AND PLUMBING TUBE AFFIXED TO FACE.\"\n\n*Spoliers!* \n\n\"APPOLOGIES.\"\n\n\"That...sounds...so...dumb.\"\n\n\"IT IS EXCELLENTLY STUPID!\"\n\n*Got it!* Hablak waved his upper articulation in triumph. *Pressing play!*\n\nThe group settled into their nesting pods as the human warning played. Then they all began to express their species' signs of confusion.\n\n\"WHY IS THERE HUMAN SINGING? WHO IS JOEL? WHY ARE THERE ROBOTS?\"\n\n*Flark!* Hablak signed with his middle appendages, *I got the wrong versions.*"
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[WP] Changing a Wikipedia article will actually change reality to match what was written. Only the people who edit Wikipedia actually seem to notice this.
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"The following was posted on wikileaks and was removed exactly 30 seconds after posting. I have no idea what to make of it… \n******************************************************************************\nClassified X-13 OMEGA CLEARANCE \nTEMPDEF report to POTUS 2/2X20XX Reguarding temporal anomalies.\n\nA hacker found a backdoor into Wikipedia and inserted a virus of unknown origin. The resulting code is identical to that of Project Abracadabra (see note one).\nIt was first discovered when user CheeseCutter69’s autocorrect rendered “Nazi Socalist Party” as “Nazi Vocalist Party” while editing an article about the Reichstag Fire. The ripple was felt immediately, changing the group from a byword for hatred and evil into a beloved choral group that had been performing for almost 100 years, and known for their impressive music and which inspired all of Europe to recover from the first world war. The changes caught the attention of 4 chan and then further experimentation occurred. One change would be quickly counteracted by another. The most notable changes included:\nNicholas Cage’s occupation being changed to “Head Beekeeper”.\nSean Bean dying in his own bed at the age of eighty, after a drunken orgy.\nThe current value of bitcoin being $100,000 which prompted a massive selloff which crashed the global economy. \nDonald Trump wins 2003 London World Bridge tournament. \nTiger Woods profession changed to “Porn Star”\nGordon Ramsey elected prime minister of UK in 2016. \nAjit Pai fatally struck by falling Tesla Roadster. \nBenjamin Franklin being best remembered for his invention of “sharks with frickin lazer beams” .\nAfter each step TempDef was able to reverse the changes, but was unable to patch the vulnerability which made it possible. On September 11th 20XX about 7:30 pm EST, The time crash*See classified report T100-11-13133* happened when George Carlin, Edward Snowden, Deadpool, Hatsune Miku , Adolf Hitler, Elon Musk, Tupac Shakur, Gendo Ikari , Chuck Norris and Jesus Christ’s pages were simultaneously edited to say they were the incumbent POTUS. The timeline was reasonably restored at great cost via Project Bluebox although it exists in an imperfect state with minor intermittent changes, How the coding from Project Abracadabra made it into Wikipedia remains inconclusive.\nNotes\nProject Abracadabra: A program written from binary coding hidden in the Kabbahlah, Torah and Talmud, the word Abracadabra translates to “I create as I speak”. The program apparently allows the user to alter the world based upon what they write. \n\n\n",
"I heard the rumours, but the voice of reason in my head knew better. That didn’t, however, stop the temptation to edit a Wikipedia page. \n\nIt was pretty easy to pick a page. I mean, the US has just experienced of its most peaceful and prosperous year in history. So I thought I could get a good laugh by changing a very obvious and clear fact. It helped that I had been a trusted editor in Wikipedia for a few years. I mean, who else was going to stop the pranksters from editing my school’s page?\n\nBut I didn’t realise it would lead to this. You, the reader, you won’t believe me. But you’ve got to try. You see, my mess up extended further than a single page. I think that because it was a such a huge change, larger portions of reality changed with it to fit the narrative. How could I have known? I’m just a college student!\n\nBut it’s too late now. But not too late for you to try spread my story. To warn others of the danger. Please, you have to. I might have deprived the world of a better future, but you can maybe change it if you co-ordinate. You can see my mistake, my horrible mishap [here](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/President_of_the_United_States) . \n\nOf course you can see it elsewhere, by that is where it began. And now for at least another three years, that idiot will be smiling back at me on that page.",
"Are you aware of the Mandela effect? The conspiracy theory that when you think something is one way that you remembered, but was something far different? It got its name from the memory people had when Nelson Mandela was thought dead after his activism in Africa, while he was in fact alive and in prison? Maybe you know of it as the Berenstain Bears, where people remembered it as the Berenstein Bears? You can thank Wikipedia of all things for that.\n\nIt started one day when an editor for a Wikipedia decided to be an internet troll and edit President Donald Trump's page to include a few paragraphs to include his death at the hands of...Sonic the Hedgehog. Someone had warped reality by inserting a fictional blue hedgehog into our world, and gave him the motive to assassinate our president. I would cringe at the idea, but I can't press myself to do so in current circumstances. I'll get to that later.\n\nOnce someone edited out these events, undoing the death of Trump, more editors started finding that errors such as Mandela's death or the spelling of the Berenstain Bears were making reality shift more and more, and we had to police ourselves more before the public would catch on, if they ever would. That means we couldn't force the death of Hitler before the Holocaust, that we couldn't force the existence of the cure for cancer, these things had to and have to happen naturally or else history and reality will be fractured.\n\nOur efforts to keep the world intact while updating and editing Wikipedia have been proven fruitless, however, once user fartbutts420 made their way into the Wikipedia editing community. fartbutts420 was a sociopath, cynical and uncaring to the core, and we are all paying the price. It is due to their edits that our world is blinking out of existence in thirty minutes, and that we are unable to stop it, as prophesized in their article, End of the World. We cannot edit or remove their work, and we cannot write anything to save our world. I'm writing this in the hopes it could somehow, someway, reach someone in another plane of existence to save them. \n\nPlease, do not misuse Wikipedia."
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[WP] You are a superhero that wields the power of plot twist. You always somehow manage to save the day with unexpected events when you are about to lose. One day, you have met your match; a supervillain that wields the power of plot holes.
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"A hundred orphans floated in the air above the volcano, their lives hanging on by the fragile thread that was Zykor's power of telekinesis.\n\n\"Not so fast, Zykor,\" I said. He cackled. *Why do they always cackle?* \"Free the orphans, and I just might spare your life.\"\n\n\"These half-fairy orphans will improve my powers a hundredfold! There is nothing you can do!\"\n\n\"Uh, what? Half-fairies? They're just orphans, Zykor.\"\n\n\"Actually,\" said the villain, \"they are half-human half-fairy creatures.\"\n\n\"Alright, but--\"\n\n\"And the fairies are aliens.\"\n\n\"Now hold on ...\"\n\n\"What can you do, Deus? Is there anything you *can* do?\"\n\nNothing so far had indicated that these children were anything but regular orphans. It made no sense. Well, never mind that. It was time to twist.\n\n\"TWIST!\" I yelled. \"Phew. That should suffice.\"\n\nSuddenly, a hoard of alien ships arrived. They were the fairy-alien parents of the orphans. They aimed their space weaponry at Zykor.\"\n\n\"What's this?\" said he. \"Oh my, it seems I have been caught. *Unless* ...\" he said.\n\n\"Unless what?\"\n\n\"Unless I already anticipated this and arranged for the Earth to be handed over to the aliens in exchange for this small sacrifice.\"\n\nThe aliens re-directed their guns at me.\n\n\"What the--ugh! TWIST!\"\n\nThe volcano erupted, highly selectively, showering lava over the alien ships while sparing the orphans.\n\n\"Very clever, Deus,\" said Zykor. \"But what about the marines?\"\n\n\"The whatnow?\"\n\nOut of nowhere a troop of marines popped up and started firing at me.\n\n\"Wow! TWIST!\"\n\nA lone marine stopped and held up a hand. The rest of his fellow marines halted at his command. \"S-Sheryl?\" He said. It turned out his daughter was one of the orphans and he had thought this whole time she was dead.\n\n\"Enough with the plot holes, Zykor! I can twist them all!\"\n\n\"But what happens, dear *Douche*, when you twist a hole?\"\n\n\"I'll ask your mother the next time I see her, Zykor.\"\n\n\"Don't you mean ... *our mother*?\"\n\n\"What? That ... That doesn't even make sense.\"\n\n\"Look behind you, Deus.\"\n\nAs much as a trope that sentence was, I had to see. And there she was. My mother. She looked awkward, knitting a sock at the edge of the volcano.\n\n\"I always meant to tell you, Deus. I was meant to have twins. But you consumed your brother in the womb. Even though it makes no sense logically, he's here now. So that's that. Zykor's your twin brother.\"\n\n\"Also,\" said Zykor, \"I grew up in an orphanage. Which is why I am prepared to defend the lives of these orphans with my life.\"\n\n\"But you were going to burn them in the volcano ...\"\n\n\"That was only what I made you *think*. Actually, the orphans have been hacking into the world banking system and has just erased all debt. Without debt, parents will be free from financial burden and won't have to give up their children because they can't afford to take care of them.\"\n\n\"You a hacker now, Sheryl?\" said the marine.\n\n\"It's true dad,\" said Sheryl. She teleported to her father and they hugged, to cheers from his fellow marines.\n\n\"Hah!\" I said. \"But this makes you a hero, not a villain!\"\n\n\"You still want to stop me, don't you?\"\n\n\"Well yes, but--\"\n\n\"Doesn't that then make *you* the villain?\"\n\n\"Hold on ... that's a --\"\n\n\"Twist? Why, yes it is.\"\n\nI fell on my knees and cried out into the dark night: \"Noooooo!\"",
"Rain gathered and buildings crashed, dust billowed and a gust of wind carried it through the city--two figures stood apart beneath the cloudy grey city skyline. \n\nThe caped man stumbled, and fell back--reaching toward the dull sky.\n\nA young woman--possibly a teen--stepped closer to him, the look of utter satisfaction spread across her perfect perfect lips and glistening marble skin. She smiled, and two long and pointy fangs were bore. \"It is \n like over,\" She said. \"This is like, totally no longer your city.\"\n\nThe man's eyes lost their spirit, and he could hardly move. Drops of rain hit his forehead. He just stared up at the sky--and he saw hope. \"I don't think so.\" He said, and the drops rain began to lessen.\n\nThe teen approached him and leaned over. \"You've lost, just like--accept it.\"\n\n\"I can't accept a world where people like you think you can rule.\" He scoffed, and a little but of blood dribbled out from the side of his mouth. \"I can barely life a finger, but for your sake, I think I'll manage this...\"\n\nThe man began to weakly raise his hand, and pointed his finger to the sky. \n\nThe girl looked up, and through the clouds a beam of light peered through and illuminated the young teen's face. She looked down after taking in the ray--\"So?\" she said.\n\nThe man's eyes widened, \"But I thought sunlight was you--\" His mouth was grabbed and she begun to lift him from the ground with her perfectly manicured hands. Her luscious and utterly voluminous hair glistened perfectly in the light.\n\nIn the moment he was being lifted--the man realized something was near--a piece of a wooden chair leg that was broken in a way to give it a point. The man didn't question his luck--and grabbed it. With all his strength he shoved it deep into the girl's heart. \n\nLike wings of blood--spraying out from her back, splattering into the air and ground with a raging force. She smiled, \"That won't work on me anymore.\" She said, tossing the man, his divine luck and efforts aside with a hand wave--he collided into a pile of rubble. \"I am like, so much stronger than you think. I am the hero this world needs, just move aside old man.\"\n\n\"No.\" He said. \n\n\"Rude.\" she said. \"Like, whatever. I'll let you be ungrateful. It is a new era.\"\n\n\"No.\" He said. \"You think everyone will fall for you and be alright with you, don't you? Because you think you are perfect all the time.\" \n\n\"I am just your average teen-hero-vampire.\" She said, and flicked her hair. \"And you are so old news. I've beat you, you lost. Give up.\"\n\nThe man couldn't move anymore--he could feel the rebar sticking through his side. \"I'll admit I've lost. I'm pretty weak compared to a lot of people, and I know that. But I always try my best and to do what is right. Here is a thing you might have never heard before in your perfect fantasy life--it is okay to lose. It happens.\"\n\n\"You don't need to say anymore, I've heard enough of old people thinking they like know anything.\" She said, and turned her back on him. \"I've kicked your butt, and I've won today.\"\n\nHe closed his eyes. \"You think you've won today... Heh. Think like that if you want. I'm not giving up.\"\n\n\"Fight me, go ahead. I'll beat you down every time you come at me.\"\n\n\"Plot twist,\" He said with a smile realizing something-- he clutched his side and stemming the flow of blood that was beginning to form a thick puddle around him. \"I'm not going to fight you like you want. I see now you're just a kid. Even if it is the last thing I do, I will make you see how the adult world really is.\"\n\n\"Shut up.\" She said. \n\n\"You can't hide in your perfect little world forever. You'll grow up one--\"\n\n\"Shut up!\" She was as quick as the fastest superhero out there--maybe faster. \"Shut up!\" She was right upon the man--raising her hand up and bringing it down upon his chest. Blood splattered, and bones crunched beneath her blow.\n\nBlood soaked her hand, and she breathed out. \"I'm the hero. There is no place in the world for you, old--...\" \n\nSomething moved, and the girl spotted a small crowd of people hiding among the destroyed havoc of the city. They looked on with horror at what she had done.\n\nShe looked down at the man, limp and lifeless. \"Old man... I'm the hero.\"\n\nThere was a child in the crowd, and tears began to well in their eyes, dropping a doll of caped man.\n\nShe stood tall, and she could see the crowd cower and gasp at her movement. Looking at her bloodied hand. \"I'm the hero... Right?\"\n"
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[WP] You've been stuck reliving the same 5 seconds for a few days.
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"It's happened again but I'm almost in control. The trick is to ignore the clock, of that I'm absolutely sure. The clock is what got me into -\n\nIt's happened again but I'm almost in control. The trick is to talk faster. Send messages out to whoever might be reading this. Upv-\n\nIt's happened again but I'm losing control now. The clock is what got me into - No wait quicker, talk quicker -\n\nIt's happened again. I'm losing control, Time is my enemy. I have a window of five seconds. How do I stop this?\n\nIt's happened again - for the love of ... \n\nIt's happened again...\n\nIt's happened again...\n\nIt's happened again...\n\nIt's happened again... No wait... An extra seco-\n\n... It's happened again. Help, another second, help -\n\nIt's happened again...\n\nIt's happened again...\n\nIt's happened again...\n\nIt's happened again...\n\nIt's happened again... Is that another second? No? I must wait... Keep waiting.\n\nIt's happened again...\nIt's happened again...\nIt's happened again...\nIt's happened again...\nIt's happened again...\nIt's happened again...\nIt's happened again...\nIt's happened again...\n\nGood God, Gods be Good. It's now seven seconds.\n\nIt's happened again but I'm almost in control. The trick is to ignore the clock, of that I'm absolutely sure. The clock is what got me into this mess. Staring at the the--\n\n"
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[WP] Everybody wants to go to Heaven. Satan discusses strategy with a new marketing team to make people want to come to Hell instead.
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"Hell is a conference room. Nobody knows that. Not until you're sitting next to Ted Bundy from marketing slurping on a Styrofoam cup of Sams Club coffee. Every slurp asks who needs coffee under the bright, burning glare of a fluorescent bulb. Hellfire was supposed to be actual fire I thought. I thought there would be screams of sinners too, but the only scream is the constant low digital ring of a telephone. On the line always a caller who could have emailed but wants to talk instead. \n\n\"AHEM!\"\n\nI guess I was staring off again. Eva Braun notices everything. Her throat clears may as well be 1,000 fingernails scraping across a chalkboard. I look up to see her eyes staring right at me, lips pursed so tight they look like an asshole. She's the Executive Assistant now. Promoted from HR. She handed me my handbook the day I arrived. Welcome to Hell written on the cover in Tacoma. It was also the day I received her first \"AHEM\" over my slightly loosened tie. \n\nAttila the Hun was doing his usual pace and talk in front of a Powerpoint screen. He's in my division and although technically we are equivalents, he flexes every minuscule amount of power he has. It's insecurity if you ask me. He had one successful idea and he has been riding that wave ever since. I don't even have to pay attention to know that the last 5 minutes, as well as the next 5 minutes will be about guns. Attila presses his hand held clicker and just as a fart predicates a shit, a picture of an assault rifle fills the screen. Audible \"hmm's\" are heard around the room. I scan each face as my eyes follows theirs to the end of the table. \n\nSatan sits there staring straight ahead. His chin resting on his hand with two fingers up embracing his face, his other arm supporting the base of his elbow as he slinks as far back in his chair as possible. One could say he looks bored, but that is always his face and he certainly is anything but apathetic. \n\n\"There's some new angles here, I will give you that\" - Satan says to an Attila smiling like a dog that just got his prick licked at the first sign of his approval - \"but we need to start looking at new markets, younger markets.\" Attila nods as his dopey face gets serious. The room is silent. Satan leans forward, the sound of his chair squeaks with release. \"I'm giving you all another 24 hours,\" he says staring straight ahead as he stands up, prompting the entire room to stand as well. \"No more of this low fat churned horseshit. Millennial's aren't eating horseshit.\" With that, he left as Eva follows behind, her arms wrapped around a legal pad like it's the only thing to have ever wanted a hug from her.\n\nI walk back to my cubicle, which really could be described as home. It is the most private place for me in Hell since the shitter stalls are so high, with door cracks so large they barely serve a purpose. My cubicle is just large enough for one desk and one chair. Its mandatory to personalize the space. The mandatory part is to take away any sense of control one would want to have in the task of personalizing something. Photos of my wife and daughter are in tiny frames against the cubicle wall. They're the same photos I had on my desk before Hell. Truth is I look at them more now. Every time in fact. I never looked at them with purpose before, just in passing. The other personalized item is a mug in the shape of a golf bag. It was a gift for my first soul conversion. I have not gotten any gifts since. \nI slump into my chair. An uncomfortable displaced support bar protrudes just enough into my back to always notice it. I stare into my off computer screen, back to the place I was in the conference room before Eva interrupted. \n \n\"Ahem,\" this time the throat clearing is gentle and welcomed. I quickly look over to see Neda standing there. She never smiles, well nobody smiles in Hell, but the slight pull on the tips of her eyes are the best part of my day every time. \"Hard at work?\" She asks sarcastically. \n\nNeda doesn't belong here. That needs to be said. Neda is part of a group of people in Hell, who ended up here thinking they did the right thing. That statement can be ambiguous in Hell. Pol Pot who now runs the entire IT division thinks he did the right thing. Neda is here because she did the right thing against someone like Pol Pot. She did it with C4 strapped to her chest, but she did it hungry, she did it scared, she did it because she was forgotten by the world. She still did it and it was enough to get her to a copy editor position in Hell.\n\n\"I am working about as hard as this chair is. You wanna help?\" I said walking to meet her eyes as close as I could.\n \n\"Let's have a walk and talk?\" Neda used just enough inflection in her voice to clarify just how much she hated that phrase.\n\n\"Just had this big meeting,\" I said as we both walked down the hall, side by side, past beige cubicle after beige cubicle. \"Satan wants younger interest in Hell. We're going in circles. Attila is stuck on guns again. Witchcraft hasn't worked since the 90's. Money was good for awhile.\"\n\n\"It's why you're here!\" Neda cut in.\n\nI brushed it off with a raised eyebrow. \"Money was working til just a few assholes took it all. It's lost its luster for the young ones.\"\n\n\"It never worked for me.\" Neda says locking eyes with me. \n\n\"Yeah well you never had the chance.\" This is how we always talk now. Somewhere between a flirtation and an argument.\n\nNeda's eyes sink. \"Well you know what worked for me.\" \n\nI stopped for a moment. I took her statement in. I knew she didn't say it to give me any ideas. I knew she didn't want this idea to reach Satan 24 hours from now at the same conference room table under that same burning fluorescent fucking light. But it was too late. She put it there in my head and now I couldn't escape it. I could get the whole golf course this time. \n\n\"Thanks for the chat.\" I said as I turned around to walk back to my desk. \n\nWith a long pause, Neda watched me. \"Anytime\" she said under her breath. \n\nMy hell was a conference room in 24 hours. Her hell was her truth. Either way we were in Hell together, maybe that was the only truth that mattered. ",
"I swallowed hard as the call came in. Satan had demanded his crack marketing team come up to the 666th floor to discuss something of vital importance regarding the current state of hell. I quickly paced to the elevator running into Steve and Maggie along the way. \n\n\"So how bad do you think it is?\", asked Maggie.\n\n\"Must be something if he's just dropping it out of the blue on us\", I stated. I was right of course. Satan never demanded much out of us, only that we keep up with the current trends of sin and deployed propaganda accordingly.\n\n\"Ah it won't be that bad\", said Steve. \"You know how the big guy gets. The world starts going to shit and everyone starts praying to the big guy again\".\n\nI always never liked Steve. He never took this job seriously. You know for the a guy that had robbed the elderly blind in his previously life, he always seemed to lackadaisical. The only reason Satan even tolerated him, was Steve's ability to not give a shit about anyone. The guy had no morals when it came to who he screwed over.\n\nThe heat rose as the elevator reached the 666th floor. Monica awaited us outside of Satan's door. \n\n\"He is ready for you now\" she said with that wicked smile of hers. \"Good luck\".\n\nWe hurried through the pitch black doors and into the conference room. The place always gave me the creeps. Satan had designed it to give him the highest view of Hell. He had a wall completely made of glass to view over his domain. From here you could almost see the nine circles of hell.\n\nNo sooner than we sat down, than Satan swung around in his chair. \n\n\"Team. We have a problem\" he stated. \"People are just not interested in appeasing me anymore. Everyone always wants to confess their sins and accept God into their hearts\". He used to hands to emphasis \"confess\" and \"accept\". \"Hell, no pun intended\" he smirked \"but I can't even get my acolytes on Earth to even convince people to come here like they once did. I mean Is this place really that bad?\". He stood up and looked out onto Hell.\n\n\"I mean look at this place. It's basically a paradise for those lost in sin. I have people living their wildest and darkest dream down here. Some are lost in vast pools of wealth, some murder without consequence, vast feasts and orgies every night and day. What does Heaven possible have that I don't?\" He sighed and walked back over. This was a first for me. I had never seemed the big guy so glum. He was right, however, people lining up to go to Hell had gone down in a steady supply. People's thought on Hell was a bit overzealous. When people thought of Hell, they imagined burning lakes of fire, torture, and damnation for all eternity. What they didn't realize was Satan had basically turn Hell into a do whatever the hell you want type of society.\n\nI look over at Maggie. She had the same expression I did. Confused that Satan was taking this so personally. Further down I glanced at Steve. Steve wasn't giving two shits about Satan's problem. He leaned back on hand, elbow propped on the table staring off into space. Seriously the nerve of the guy. \n\nSatan suddenly slammed his hands on the table, fire burning in his eye. \n\n\"Damn it all, I need suggestions, NOW!\".\n\nI quickly piped up \"Maybe we could adjust our algorithms to Earth. Convince people that what they think here isn't what they think in their head, people don't see this place for the paradise it really is\".\n\nMaggie quickly took over \"Perhaps we shift blame to the Gods side of the field. Have you seen how bad some people use his name for their beliefs? You have people already fighting on exactly what he stands for\".\n\nSteve let out a yawn and looked at Satan. \"Perhaps you can stop being such a dick.\"\n\nMaggie and I froze in our chairs. I took one look at Satan and saw brimstone leaking through every pore in his body. Steve had done it now. After a few seconds Satan maintained his composure and walked over to the phone. \n\n\"Monica?\"\n\n\"Yes sir?\"\n\n\"Could you please put in a request for a new marketing consultant? I'm in need of a spare\".\n\n\"Right away sir\".\n\nI barely felt the heat pass my face before I realize Steve was out of his chair and tossed through the window. For good measure Satan set Steve on fire as he started falling. I felt an evil smile creep along my face. Steve was always a dick anyways."
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Whether it’s a deal with the devil gone wrong or something more mundane, I like the idea of a magician who needs to make rent every week and he can only keep money he finds behind people’s ears.
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[WP] You’re an abysmal magician who’s only income is money behind people’s ears.
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"\"Oh, and look at that. It's gone!\" I would say, motioning to my empty hand. \n\nA child would looked expectantly, but I'd quickly bow and make my exit. \n\n\"Aren't you going to give it to him?\" would cry a parent.\n\nFuck that! Didn't they notice a neatly folded Ben Franklin tucked behind the ear of their child before I arrived? Not my problem.\n\nIf they'd cleaned their stinky little shits more than once a month maybe they'd have a handle on cold hard currency behind his goddamn ears. Why they can't see it, well I've stopped worrying about it.\n\nThat kind of encounter is rare, so I move on quickly.\n\nI thought I was being pranked for the first week. I even gave the money back at first. I mean, it wasn't mine. There it was, plain as day. A neatly folded bill behind the ear. Not a coin. A fucking bill wedged behind a kid's ear!\n\nI'd stop, ask the parent if they'd noticed. They'd freak a little, but as soon as I pulled out the bill they laughed at 'my trick'. \n\nAfter a few weeks, I thought I'd play dumb and just keep the money. I fully expected a camera crew to run out, but I'd be expecting them and we'd laugh about it. Except nobody ever jumped out of the bushes. Ever.\n\nThat's when it started to get real, and I admit I started to lose it. \n\nI was panicking. I'd demand to know how they didn't know real cash was behind their child's ear. I wasn't even nice about it. They'd initially be a bit freaked out, but by that point a crowd would have gathered, with laughing and applauding. They thought it was part of an act! I started to feel bad for getting mad that I'd even hand over the money! Even then, I'd be considered a generous philanthropist, and the crowd would go crazy!\n\nSo anyway, I got over it. If I was losing my mind, so be it. People became money trees. I accepted it. I paid my mortgage off with my 'Magic Show', and so much more. I'd make as much money as I cared to spend, and got it down to a fine art. I could make $1,000 on a stroll down a single block!\n\nThen it started to happen. The picking grew thinner. It was slow, and hardly noticeable. I realized initially when my outings were less and less profitable. Eventually I would start spending more and more time on the streets. I noticed the larger denominations that used to be so common whittling down to $20 bills, and less. \n\nMy deposits from my 'show' were dwindling. I admit I was starting to act weird. I spun a few kids around that I thought had money, only to find nothing tucked behind the ear. Fuck, it scared me each time. The parent would push me, a small crowd would gather. One time I was pinned to a wall until the police came. They questioned me and let me go, but it shook me. I was deadly sure each time after that. Unless I really, really saw money, I'd go for it.\n\nAfter a few months, I was down to dollar bills. The first time I saw a quarter I actually laughed. Manically, it you will. I didn't bother with that kid. \n\nEventually even the dollar bills vanished. I was down to change. Now people really DID expect me to hand over the money. In some cases, I had to run, as onlookers got ugly.\n\nI'd long been cashing in my assets to keep up with the drop in income. Everything slowly fell away, the whole facade. Within a year, I had no house, no car, and no money in the bank. I was sleeping in a shitty car, and eating with the proceeds of some dirty collection of ragtag coins. I'm begging now. I haven't seen a coin behind an ear in months now.\n\nWhen I say 'feeding', I really mean drinking. I know I stink pretty badly. My stomach had been hurting from my liquid diet. I just shit myself actually, and it's still coming out to illustrate how low I've sunk. I don't even care. I'll need to pick up something from Goodwill I guess. I hope that they've gotten over the incident with that kid's ear and let me into the shelter, even if just for a fucking shower. \n\nDamn that hurts! My ass is fucking aching! Holy shit, what is that? A coin? In my shit? It's a fucking quarter? Hang on.. ouch.. is that a dollar bill? Oh fuck no! No! No!\n"
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[WP] The entirety of the population of North America has been transported to the year 1939
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"The food rationing started immediately. Farmers had been hit by low prices and wild demand throughout the decade. Food had gone from overabundant to rare overnight. There weren't enough active farms, not enough active farmers, and no technology that could support the sudden influx of population.\n\nAnd that was all before they got out their wallets. Debit cards were useless, but even the limited cash they had in hand was enough to crash the economy even further.\n\nWaves of disease came next. Influenza, pneumonia, smallpox, and dozens of other diseases that 'modern' americans had no defense for. The mortality rate was stunning. Society was on the verge of collapse. \n\nGermany's Nazi government pointed to this degeneracy as more proof of their right to rule. Britain and France, trying desperately to help America and prevent the chaos from reaching through their own borders were completely unprepared for Hitler's offensive.\n\nFrance fell, Nazi boots marched in Paris and Warsaw. Britain looked on in fear as the Nazi threat spread. They begged America for weapons and supplies, but America was in collapse itself. There was no money after the wild inflation, no food after the fields were eaten bare by 300 million (soon to be dead) transplants, and no manufacturing capacity with the employable population brought low by disease.\n\nNazi subs encircled England and starved them further. Britain managed to build a handful of radio towers to thwart the initial forays of the Luftwaffe, but they couldn't break Enigma and they couldn't support their war effort.\n\nChurchill made impassioned speeches, but there was little that he could do as his pilots were shot from the sky and his population starved when winter hit.\n\nIronically, with the war going well Hitler maintains a relative stability of personality. He doesn't need Russia's oil fields immediately and maintains his treaty with Stalin longer than expected. Stalin takes advantage of this to strike first.\n\nWith the German army at full strength and dug in, the Russian wave beats against an unbreakable wall. Their strength spent in that offensive, Stalin looks on in horror as the Nazi war machine marches across the plains and halts outside Moscow.\n\nWith solid supply lines, no resistance, and America still in the throes of deep depression Russia will fall. Hitler now has his sights on his end goal: the complete domination of Europe.\n\nOne day his sights will fall on America but he has many other things he needs to attend to first..."
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[WP] Once a week at random, everyone swaps bodies with the nearest person for 5 minutes. You just swapped with a killer who just murdered someone.
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"I had always been a \"closet\" case, now that I knew I was Scott free from my actions I overpowered myself and left myself tied up, I called the police and let the phone continue to dial, putting it out of earshot of myself. I arrived at a Caffè, where my boss was, \"hello I'm a killer, thanks for sleeping with my wife, if it's any consolation I'm knocked yours up for good measure\" my boss spit his coffé up, then I pulled the killers 44 out and fired. The switch occurred again after I took my shot, I was in bed at a hospital brused up, such splendid work I did, there was breaking news as a crazed gunman was shooting up a coffee store, looks like I would be getting a new promotion soon.",
"“PLEASE NO!” I yelled as loud as I could at that very last moment. I saw it. Quick as can be. The knife as it pierced my skin and entered the upper part of my chest. As fast as it happened, things stood still, just for a moment. Blackness fades. \n\nThere I was standing... over myself? “Oh shit, it’s the switching!” I lined over my lifeless corpse just waiting for all sense to come back to me, but it never came. At that moment the door that locked the monster and I was bust open with a loud “THWACK”. Two police officers run in with their weapons drawn, trained on my head. \n\n“God damn” one of the officers yelled, but like he’s seen this act of violence a hundred times. \n“Identify yourself” he shouted. “What’s your Id number, and switch identifier code?” \n\nMy mind was blank, I couldn’t even remember my own name, let alone my switch identification. \n\n“ It wasn’t me! I’m the one on the ground!”\n\n“I believe you, we just got switched too”. The officer said, gun still pointed at my head. “Put down the knife son”\n\nI immediately drop the weapon, as questions start flooding my mind, more than usual, my memory is so foggy.\n“I don’t.. I .”\nHe dropped to the floor, almost on queue, his body lying limp. \n\nThe officer puts away his gun and walks over to the body, places his finders on his neck, and lets out a sigh.\n\n“Looks like another one, murder/suicide”\n\nThe other officer finally speaks up, “ what do you mean? Why did he just collapse like that?”\n\n“The murderer killed the victim right as the switch happened, something must have gone screwy with the transfer, killed them both, ive seen it before, happens more than you know.” The officer explained. “Call the paramedics, tell them to bring two bags.\n\nAs they walk out of the building, they feel their bodies return back to their originals. \n\n“Just another day in this god forsaken world”"
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[WP] A single tree, growing in the middle of the massive smoky city. They would have removed it long ago--if they were able.
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"I was to be in charge of renovating the city. It was the emperor's home town and he wanted to move his palace here. I had already begun the walkway into the centre of the city. Concrete skyscrapers on either side had to be painted purple and gold. Windows tinted. Smog cleared. The sky must be blue. It had to look not rich or expensive but worthy of the greatest man in the universe. Nobody knew his full name. He was called the emperor or your highness. Anything other than that and your tongue would be ripped out. And that was bare minimum. Yet, everyone smiles. He is a great man after all. He has built schools and hospitals and completed miracles that no government was able to before. He is God incarnate. Nobody better. Everyone knew who he was. If you didn't, well, where were you? His face is on every poster. His face on every screen. Rather hard not to know who he is. Anyway, back to the task in hand...\n\n\"Boss, we have a problem.\" Called a man to my right. \"There is something brown, tall and green in the dead centre of the city. According to one of the men, it's called 'Yggdrasil.'\"\n\n\"What's the problem?\" I demanded. \"I have to have all this done in a month. I couldn't stop out emperor from living in his hometown now could I? Such a great man is expected to live in certain conditions!\"\n\n\"Do you want it removed?\" He asked politely. Not quite begging but close.\n\n\"Yes. I did speak to our highness's advisor and he told me it had to go. In his own words: 'All things organic must go. The emperor doesn't like them. This *tree* as it's called must be gone extra quickly with not a single green thing in site when I come in a week.' He is not a man to say no to.\"\n\n\"Ok, the problem is... the men don't want to.\" He replied looking at the ground.\n\n\"Get rid of them and find another lot.\" I told him.\n\n\"Now!\" I shouted as he loitered. He hurried off after that.\n\n\"Sorry about that Jeff.\" I tured back to try to select just the right tint for the windows.\n\n---\n\nLater in the day he came back. \"Boss, the third lot don't want to either. The said the couldn't possibly do damage to the Yggdrasil. The third lot weren't local. I made sure of it. I didn't even know they knew it's name.\" He told me.\n\n\"Let me do it.\" I sighed. \"I can't waste any more time.\"\n\nSo we got in a cart and drove down to the 'Yggdrasil.'\n\nWhen we got there the were about 20 men just gathered around it. \"What are you lot gawping at? Get back to work! You will make the emperor look bad!\" I yelled at them. How dare they not do the work set for them.\n\n\"John,\" (he was the bloke in charge of the city centre ready for the palace to be built) \"if these men stop working again, fire them. Now I want to to chop that tree down.\"\n\n\"Boss, I already tried. I just don't want to.\" He replied. Fear creeping into his voice.\n\n\"Fine. I'll do it then. Hand me the laser.\" I replied with a huff. And so he did.\n\nI walked over to this *tree* and prepared to cut it down. Checked the laser had power. It did. John had begun to walk over. His yellow clearly standing out against the grey of the concrete and the grey of the path and the dust on the other worker's clothes. Aim the laser directly making sure to hit nothing but the tree as I cut it. Done. Now, turn on the laser. It was a simple switch on the side. Done. Steady the laser. Ready... in, one... two... three...\n\nBut, I couldn't do it. I couldn't kill such a beautiful tree. Yes, that's what it was. A tree. I couldn't cut a thing with this much beauty down. It would be a travisty. Injustice. Jus-\n\n\"You can't can you boss?\" John's words ripped through my dreams.\n\n\"Get me someone from the media team. Now. I don't care how. I want him here now. Bring the whole team if you have to.\" I demanded.\n\n\"Yes sir\" John replied as he hurried off.\n\nWhy couldn't I kill Yggdrasil? What was wrong with this tree? \n\n\"Here they are sir!\" John shouted as he came running back. Men in suits and cameras and microphones and all sorts cam running towards me.\n\n\"Well done John. Don't worry about the tree now. I will have it removed before the advisor come in 5 days time. Start packing up. It's rather late.\" I told John.\n\n\"Yes sir, thank you sir.\" He replied as he hurried off.\n\n\"Gentlemen.\" I turned towards the media team. Each man had a serious expression on his face except the presenters. They always similed. \"I want to broadcast a challenge to the good people in the city. It goes as such: Any man willing and able to cut down this tree shall be rewarded. I shall reward them presonally. Any man willing to take on this task must turn up here tomorrow 9 'o' clock sharp. They will then have any equipment they need to cut down this tree. If they have any questions they can turn up here, that's the city center, tomorrow morning.\"\n\n\"Will that be all?\" Came a voice from the back.\n\n\"Yes, thank you. I shall be going home now but if there are any questions you know how to contact me.\" I replied. Then, turning, I got in the cart and drove home. Hopefully, that should sort out the tree. Sadly, there was only one thing to do now. Wait and see."
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[WP] You are a test pilot for an FTL prototype spaceship. Just before you hit the "jump" button for the first test flight another ship, identical to yours, suddenly appears. You hear your own voice over the radio say "Test jump complete, mission control do you copy?"
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"The silence is circling a ring from ear to ear. Nothing. I look and, like white hot lighting, I remember. Which one am I now? How long have I done this? How many times have I asked? Where is mission control? The ship is so close it makes ours vibrate. I see myself in the cockpit of the other ship and wonder is she thinking exactly what I am? If not will I be her next and think what she was just thinking? Is she gonna be me next? Which one of us started this? \n\n“Captain we’re clear of jump”\n\n“Test jump complete, mission control do you copy?”"
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[WP] "Hello, thank you for calling Hell's helpdesk, how can I help you?"
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"“Hi, I’d like to check on my status?”\n\n“Sure, one moment please...”\n\nThere was a pregnant pause as the operator seemed to take a moment pulling up my record. She had an eerie voice that sounded both child-like and adult, a pleasant enough tone, but very unsettling.\n\n“Ah, I’ve found you Mr. Williams! It looks like, sadly, you’re currently only set to join us for a short 10 years. Before we get started, I need to inform you that this call has a designated length of 2 minutes and details about non-relatives are completely unavailable.\n\n“Would you like a recounting of your transgressions?”\n\n“Sure”\n\nShe chimed on like a blissfully annoying call center employee who was ditsy enough to seem to enjoy her job and insisted on being the happiest person in her building, while she listed off his transgressions as if they were nothing more than traffic directions. \n\n“... after that there’s 6 months for malevolent thoughts, 3 years for minor adultery, and topping it off with your most recent transgression, theft from your local supermarket. Do you have any questions?”\n\n“Wait?! I never stole from my grocery store and what do you mean adultery?!” \n\n“Mr. Williams, you are aware that stealing is wrong, if not only by your own faith, but by every world religion as well as the laws of nearly every country?”\n\n“Yes”\n\n“So then when you got home and found that you had only scanned in 4 of the 5 cans of tuna you purchased and did not return to the store to correct the error, you committed theft. Is that an inaccurate description of not paying for something?”\n\n“That wasn’t intentional and the grocery store is 10 miles away!”\n\n“It still doesn’t change the fact that you’ve stolen tuna.”\n\n“But... but I’ve heard that big chain is using child labor to manufacture their products!”\n\n“While that may or may not be true, you still patron their store and have still stolen a product. The sin of another does not nullify your own, Mr. Williams.” \n\n“Fine, I’ll do some community service, now what’s this bullshit about adultery?!”\n\n“Mr. Williams, please watch your language! You’ve just added 15 minutes to your stay.”\n\nShe continued, a hint of annoyance in her still too-chipper voice, “The adultery charge comes from your 19.7 minute long day dream, fantasizing about one of the women dropping off her child at the same school as your daughter.”\n\n“Wait a minute! I didn’t do anything to her! That was just a stupid fantasy, a bit of day dreaming! I can’t control that!”\n\n“In fact, sir, the notes of the incident report that you reveled in the thought and did nothing to change your thinking until you arrived at your workplace. You are aware of the writings of your faith which indicate that when your eye falls upon another with the thought of lust, it is better to pluck that eye out than allow it to corrupt you further...”\n\n“Yeah, I know that, but I never did anything! It was just a daydream! I’m happily married! I love my wife! I’d never cheat on her!”\n\n“That does not change the facts sir. You still had impure thoughts. Mr. Williams, I do understand that you’re doing what you feel is your best, however, the rules are the rules and I cannot change them. Upon your death, you will be given a fair and impartial hearing on your sins and will be given a lawyer to help you argue your defense, free of charge.”\n\nMany curse words ran through his head in those few moments, but he couldn’t think of any other points to argue so, feeling resigned to his fate, he had one final question.\n\n“What can you tell me about the rest of my family?”\n\n“While I cannot tell you any details of their sins, due to our confidentiality policy, I can see their current terms. Your daughter is currently at 5 months, 3 days. Your son has accumulated 2 years and your wife will be staying with us for four hundred and thirty seven years. “\n\n“My wife... what??”\n\n“Whoops! Mr. Williams, I’m sorry, I’ve overrun our call time and have to take another call on the other line. Have a nice day!”\n\nAs the line went dead, the card with the phone number in his hand popped out of existence as he instantly forgot the number itself, however his conversation with the operator remained. He was horrified. How could his wonderful wife, who he respected and loved and could not hurt a fly have ever racked up 437 years?"
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[WP] In a moment of deep reflection, it dawns on you that there are at least a dozen times in your past where you completely missed the fact that a person was hitting on you. This causes you to completely misread, in a hilarious fashion, the intentions of the next person you come in contact with.
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"A wishy washy story\n\r\n*Me*\n\r\nMy epiphany came to me on a Wednesday afternoon. \n\r\n“So you mean to tell me that he was romantically interested in me?” I stopped literally midway through drying my clothes, looking like a basketball player mid-dunk, or a ballerina mid-leap (or an old woman, mid-back spasm). \r\n“Let’s review, shall we?” sighed Lisa, my Long Suffering Roommate. “He went out of his way to download that tv show you like, after you mentioned it *once*. He invited you over to his room to ‘discuss research topics’” (I didn’t need the air quotes for that, her tone was enough.) “And, just In case you were left with any further doubts as to his feelings, he asked you to go out with him!” \n\r\nThat’s when I zoned out and replayed that conversation I had with poor Jonathan that morning. I met him at the entrance to the lab, as usual. He seemed a bit more fidgety than usual, and dropped all his stuff. I bent down to pick them up for him, completely forgetting that my stupid black shirt was a little revealing at the neck, and was held together by a safety pin. This, by the way, was the reason for my sudden enthusiasm for laundry this afternoon- I just couldn’t go on wearing the same wretched black shirt, shabbily pinned together at the neck, for even one more day until my mom found time to mail me my other clothes from home.\n\r\nAnyway, so when he said, “Do you want to go out today?” I absolutely jumped at the chance to have company, to go to the nearest grocery store to pick up detergent and nylon rope, to do the laundry and hang a clothesline in our little room.\n\r\n*Ohhh. . .*\n\r\n“But we ended up going grocery shopping!” I said in dismay, cheeks reddening in retrospective embarrassment. My Long-Suffering Roommate stood a while with her mouth agape, then shook her head, no doubt mentally washing me off her hands. \n\r\nI couldn’t just let her go. I needed a cure to my pathologically practical bent of mind, and my incurable inability to detect a whiff of romance from inches under my nose. “What should I do, in such situations in the future?” I couldn’t keep a note of pleading out of my voice. “Well,” she sighed. “Do you think there’s any hope with Jonathan in the future?” she asked.\n\r\n“Considering that I told him he reminded me of my brother, and that I bought him a lollipop at the end for waiting so patiently as I finished my errands…” I trailed off, devoutly thankful that my heavier textbooks were out of the Roommate’s reach. “I bought the lollipop as a joke,” I explained weakly. \n\r\nNow she was amused, thankfully, and asked in a playful tone, “Just how many such innocents have you crushed the hopes and dreams of? How many tender blossoming romances have you ridden roughshod over?” “Now I don’t know!” I wailed, in a funny mixture of mirth and mortification.\n\r\n“Here’s what you do the next time someone of the male species appears to be favouring you with his attentions,” she said, hands on her hips. “You make small talk and smile unnecessarily, you find excuses to touch him, and if he says the words ‘go’ and ‘out’ in the same sentence, you say, ‘yes, thank you,’ and let him choose the venue.” I nodded mutely, and she considered this invitation to continue. “And I’m sure something can be done about this hair of yours, surely it’s not as frizzy as you say it is,” she clucked. “And as for those glasses. . .didn’t you say you had a pair of contacts somewhere? Maybe we can do a quick makeover before I leave for home this weekend. . .”\n\r\n* * *\n\r\n*Him*\n\r\n“Dude, I’m telling you, something’s wrong with the chick.” I gave her a casual once over. She was wearing her usual goth clothes, but the shirt was pinned together, like she had absolutely given up. Her hair was in utter disarray, and she kept pushing it back ineffectually once in a while. She was also dabbing at her eyes in what I’m sure she thought was a surreptitious manner, and to crown it all, when the professor asked her to explain something she had written on the board, she gave a kind of squeak and rushed out of the class. “I know she rejected Jonathan and all, but maybe she secretly liked him?” I speculated. My neighbour Rohit shrugged, “You never can tell with girls.”\n\r\nI thought I’d do my good deed for the day and return the book she had abandoned in class. I knew where her dorm room was, she shared it with Lisa, the only other girl here from my hometown. As I got closer, I could see her standing in the ugly little balcony that each of these rooms had. She was holding a rope of some sort in her hand. As I watched, she climbed on to a stepstool or something, and hung the rope onto a nail in the wall. I just kept watching, fool that I am, my brain just not processing what was occurring literally before my eyes. She fastened the rope taut on the nail, and began fiddling with it near her neck. Adrenaline took over then, and I sprinted the last few feet as fast as I could, though the main door, up two floors, and literally kicked in the door of her room.\n\r\n* * *\n\r\n*Me*\n\r\nMy frugal ways finally got the better of me when I was trying to hang the clothesline while balanced on the rickety stepstool. My stupid clothes hadn’t dried when I hung them yesterday inside our room, so now I was forced to hang them outside, on the balcony. My desire for clean clothes had trumped my desire for dignity and privacy to dry my undies. As I stood on the step stool and tried to tie the rope, it got caught in the safety pin at my collar, and I had to spend a good two minutes to untangle it. \n\nMy efforts were spectacularly interrupted by someone literally bursting into my room. After the dust cleared, I recognised the lean and rangy form of Daniel, Lisa’s high school friend. He looked as if he had run across campus with the express purpose of witnessing my undignified struggle with the clothesline. After blinking stupidly at each other for a while, I acted on the first impulse that came to my (clearly oxygen-starved) brain, “So, beautiful day, isn’t it?” I said, making smalltalk with my best and widest smile.\n\r\n* * *\n\r\n*Him*\n\r\nShe literally couldn’t say anything for a minute or so, and then with a grotesque smile and a hideous attempt at normalcy, said, “Uhh, beautiful day, isn’t it?” \n\r\nHow does one casually dissuade someone from an attempt at suicide by hanging? I couldn’t even Google it, given the circumstances, and had to depend on my (all-too-small) reserve of tact. “Uhh, yes, I suppose so. What were you- I mean- were you trying to- ah- where’s Lisa?” “She went home for the weekend,” she said, in what I could have sworn was a chirpy tone. “So it was the perfect time,” she explained. I’m sure she realised my faculties for speech were frozen, because she continued, gesturing to her nylon apparatus of death, “Do you get this kind of inspiration for a nice clean start too?” \n\nAnd then she sniffed and wiped her eyes, and then leaned forward and touched my arm. Now I may not be the cuddliest teddy bear on the shelf, but I do have enough knowledge of human emotion to know that this is a cry for help. People in depression are often driven to uncharacteristic physical displays. As gently as I could, I disengaged her hand and said the first comforting thing that came to my mind, “Shall we go get some ice cream?”\n\r\n* * *\n\r\n*Me*\n\r\nAfter that weird conversation where we talked about how laundry gives us inspiration for a nice clean start to the week, he asked me out. He literally clasped my hand and asked me out to ice cream. I couldn’t believe how quickly I was having to put my newfound knowledge into practice, and just nodded, “Yes, thank you,” and went to grab my jacket, comb my hair out of Lisa's ridiculously untidy hairstyle and ditch my contacts; they were making my eyes water in the most unflattering fashion. I even had to leave class early this morning because something had fallen into my eye and it burned, and I was cut off from reality by my blurry eyes. \n \r\nHe and I ended up spending literally all weekend together- we went to an all-night pub, where we did occasional shots, and played old-timey games like darts and pool. We ended up crashing in the bean bags in the common room of our dorm, and woke up totally fuzzy-headed the next day. We got coffee together, and then went to lunch at a café near the park, and when we returned to my room, Lisa appeared unexpectedly. \n\r\n“I cut short my trip home,” she explained. “Was missing you too much, my roomie,” and gave me a very warm hug. Daniel took off then, parting with a surprisingly intense, “Take care of yourself,” looking straight into my eyes.\n\r\n* * *\n\r\n*Him*\n\r\nFor someone on suicide watch, she was surprisingly normal. But I suppose that’s what high-functioning depression is, because there were times when she appeared to be over-compensating, smiling weirdly and becoming strangely touchy-feely. I did what I could, taking her to that all-night pub downtown and plying her with just enough alcohol to be pleasantly buzzed but not tragic and weepy (trust me, me and the guys have worked this to a science). \n\nWe crashed in the dorm common room, a reassuringly public area- good enough to keep her from doing anything awful and also saving me from inviting myself awkwardly to her room to keep watch on her. Then I called Lisa, when it became obvious that I needed reinforcement. Very alarmed indeed, she rushed back to college, and greeted her roommate with a hug and almost wept on her shoulder.\n\r\nWe then parted ways, and both of us caught up on sleep. I could rest easy, now that Lisa was back to watch over her. And the next day, as soon as I woke up, I texted Lisa and enquired as to the condition of our patient. Much to my befuddlement, she sent back three uproariously laughing emojis, and the promise of a very wishy-washy story the next time we met. \r\n"
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[WP] An alien civilization narrating an “Animal Planet” version of humans on earth.
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"And here we have the teenager, this one hasn’t moved for three weeks. The humans patience is essential to the hunt. It stares at the ‘phone’ pretending to be distracted, setting its prey at ease before it strikes. Even with our advanced technology we cannot see what poor creature is being hunted, but the humans extreme senses have it precisely located and now it waits to strike. A sound! The human drops the phone and picks up a book. ‘Homework’ deters the alpha predator, a parent. The only thing that the teenager fears. The parent enters the vicinity. The teenager. Engulfed by homework, would make a poor meal, so the parent looks elsewhere. With danger averted, the teenager resumes looking at its phone. The sudden arrival of the parent has upset the prey. But no matter. This vicious hunter will wait months for its food, so it remains still, staring at the phone. "
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[WP] You are a Metagaming Time Traveler who goes forward in time a year in advance records the most notable events and then releases it to the internet.
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"My colleagues and I knew that if our forebears could somehow be prepared for the shocks to come, then maybe, maybe the final destruction of the race could be avoided. \nWe didn’t have much time. One of us, would return and warn them. Let them know that they could get through it if only they could work to heal the divisions instead of making them worse. The rest of us would die of the toxic poisons dumped into the air during the wars for separation and the wars for unification. As if such a thing were possible. \n“Help us Matt. Your our only hope.”He smiled at the reference. “Still trying to make the Jedi faith a thing?”\n“No, There is no time. Do you have a plan?”\n“I am going back to just before the internet and leverage television. Then my characters will make the first cut onto the net. I know it will work.”\nHe stepped into the portal and was gone. \nThree years of work later his masterpiece debuted....... a blue sky parted on the screen to reveal “The Simpson’s”"
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Inspired by the recent shower thought.
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[WP] The Grim Reaper has a Scythe, the Devil a pitchfork. They are farmers. You introduce them to industrial farming.
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"I reaped souls today for a change.\n\nTwo thousand to be exact.\n\nThe fiery figure and the skeleton at the sides were definitely amazed.\n\n“This could work-” Satan said, his hands soothing his fire goatee.\n\nThe Grim Reaper clashed his, her, or its teeth together, making a gnawing sound. It seemed that he agreed as well.\n\nSatan coughed a bit, then said, “so you’re saying that I can, theoretically,” he then nodded to the Grim Reaper, “kill humanity with a hunk of moving metal? A wassayoucallit-” he twirled his hands around the air.\n\n“A crop harvester.” I answered.\n\n“Ah yes, a crop whatever.” Satan’s eyes were gleaming, with joy or red hot lava I couldn’t figure out, but I put on my best professional look and went on.\n\n“Yes, mister, and with that you don’t have to do it personally, get all dirty and gritty everyday! Just like that and you have caused World War Four,” I snapped my fingers at the right moment, “Just. Like. That.” I leaned forward to give a bit of pressure to my potential customers.\n\nSatan was making the steeple hand pose; you can see it through his posture that he was confident, comfortable in making deals. He is the Devil, so that bit was obvious. The Grim Reaper just stood there, like, well, a skeleton. He must be the slower one in the power duo, so I didn’t put much attention on him.\n\n“Divide and conquer,” my previous boss always said, “Don’t tackle them head on.” He is now six feet under. Murdered by three ex-wives.\n\nThanks boss, I thought, but I don’t think deities was covered in your marketing 101.\n\nI tried my best smile, which consisted of brandishing exactly ten bleached pearly whites, six top four bottom. “Whaddaya say?” I brandished the contract towards Satan, intentionally flashing my name tag, which says Heaven Inc.\n\nHe put a hand on top of the contract, “Two. No more.”\n\nI sweated a little inside. “But, sir, I can assure you that this can revolutionize-”\n\nHe stopped me with a gesture, and proceeded to leave, grabbing the Grim Reaper by the left arm.\n\n“Okay, okay okay,” My boss is gonna kill me. “Twelve”\n\nSatan turned to look at me, then said to the Grim Reaper, “Let’s go.”\n\n“Fine fine fine fine. Eight”\n\nSatan turned again, this time spouting directly to my face, “Four.”\n\n“Seven.”\n\n“Five.”\n\n“Six.”\n\n“Deal!” Satan suddenly beamed, I mean literally beamed with \nlight rays that would probably kill me.\n\n...\nWell, even if Satan didn’t, God would, seeing that I had just sold a soul crop harvester with just six million souls.",
"\"What do you mean there's something new,\" the Devil questioned. \"These are the tools of the trade!\"\n\n\"Maybe,\" you reply sheepishly. \"Like two hundred years ago. \n\nThe Devil takes a look at Death, his partner in their agriculture of the afterlife firm, Hectares of Eternity, LLC. An idea was springing to mind. \n\n\"What you're telling us, is that in a few mere centuries, humans revolutionized one of the core tenets of their own existence?\"\n\n\"Yeah, in the industrial revolution. Some guy,\" you pause to remember his name, reaching back to middle school, \"Eli Whitney made a machine that could work a lot faster at farmwork than regular farmhands. Everything went up from there, really. Population went up, diseases got cured, a lot of other cool science things...\" Yoh trail off, realizing your schooling didn't talk much about how things have improved in the past two hundred years.\n\nDeath motioned to his partner. \"Give us a moment, will you,\" the Devil asked as he and Death walked out of the conference room. You twiddle your thumbs, not really sure what to do. You suppose reflecting on your life could be fine, remembering all the wonderful times you had with your kids, your friends, your coworkers at John Deere. You realize that yoh really had it good. \n\nSuddenly, the two mythical beings storm back in, Death looking rather pleased, and the Devil walking towards you with a giant smile on his face. \n\n\"Okay, kid. We have an idea for you. How would you like to update our tech? All this stuff you talked about, we want in.\"\n\nYou look at one, and then the other, and then the first one again. \"Now why would I have any intention of helping you update your murdering and torture devices?\"\n\n\"Well, we aren't primarily in the 'murder and torture business'. It's more about population control and afterlife assessment. I mean, do we hurt those who have been bad? Yes, but better that than the alternative!\"\n\nYou shudder as you think of what the alternative might be. \n\n\"So what do you say?\"\n\nYou ponder for a few moments, whatever that means here. \"eh, why not?\"\n\n\"Well, we better get started then,\" says Death, somewhat ominously. \n\n_____________________________\n\nJennifer Brown had led a good life. Her family was surrounding her as her life began to fade away. They tell her to say hello to her husband, and that they will miss her. She begins to feel the euphoria of the end, of not worrying about bills anymore, of knowing she did right be her kids and her countless students, wash over her. She hears a distant humming, and it's getting louder. She opens her eyes to a most peculiar sight: a hooded man on a bright green tractor. He extends a hand towards her, and she notices it is only bones. For some reason, she is not afraid. His hood falls to reveal a skull and her confusion is replaced by understanding. \"Come,\" he says in a deep, rich voice. \"Come ride with me to greener pastures.\"\n\nEdit: I'm an idiot who forgot what exactly Eli Whitney did",
"Death's trademark cloak fluttered in spite of the still air to reveal a face barely held together by skin. \n\n\"...Farmers?\" He whispered through cracked lips. Both Death and Lucifer were dumbstruck by the human in front of them. \n\n\"Yes, gentlemen you farm humanity. You watch people mature to old age then harvest them like ripened fruit. It's the same principle.\" If this went well, it would be the largest deal Horatio had ever cut. \n\n\"Continue, please. You claim we're running around like bumbling idiots with scythes and pitchforks, but whats to stop this pair of 'dunces' from sending you to an early afterlife?\" Lucifer, hotheaded as ever, was growing impatient. \n\n\"Let him finish. If he dares to deceive us or waste our time, I know more than a few a suitable punishments.\" The two immortals exchanges sinister smirks before turning back to Horatio. \n\n\"I present to you, the Pv1 Soul Collector,\" Horatio ripped the cloth off the massive mound next to him. Towering at exactly 10 feet tall, the Pv1 Soul Collector was Horatio's masterpiece. Made out of ebony wood, ivory, and a few paranormal materials, the machine looked like the rib-cage of a giant laying flat on its sternum. Sharp tips protruded inwards, creating a tunnel of spikes. Perhaps oddest of all, atop the 'spine' was a single seat around which multiple levers, buttons, and controls sat. Horatio hopped on the seat and flipped a switch, setting off a series of sharp screeching sounds, like the cry of a desolate beast. \n\n\"Able to harvest half a million souls per day, the Pv1 Soul Collector or PSC, should last you at least a millennium before requiring maintenance or an upgrade. All I ask in return is eternal life, so I may stay your personal repairman and business partner,\" Horatio recited as humbly as he could. He'd practiced this speech for years; immortal beings were not to be taken lightly. \n\n\"So, do we have a deal?\" Horatio's eyes were practically glowing with excitement at this point. \n\n\"Ai, they'll never learn will they, Death?\" Lucifer wondered out loud. Death shook his skeletal visage before pulling out a lantern filled with damned spirits. He held the lantern up and muttered a few words under his breath, causing the lantern to glow a bright green. Screams echoed in the night, and *poof* Horatio's body fell limp to the floor. A small wisp floated from the corpse and into the lantern, another soul condemned to the fate as those before it. \n\n\"We've got to keep our jobs somehow,\" Death whispered. His cloak fluttered once more before blending into the lightless night. Lucifer chuckled as flames wreathed his figure and he too disappeared.",
"Disclaimer: I'm not very familiar with farm tools. Or reddit. Or writing. Criticism appreciated\n\n---\n\n\"Come on Lucy, it's not that complicated.\"\n\n\"Hey, it's not like you're doing that much better. Who needs this crap anyway? We've been doing it the same way for millennia, and we've been doing all right.\" \n\n\"Boss said he wanted us to be ready for the next few years, that's all. 'Unprecedented harvest since the flood', those were his exact words. Thought you'd be excited about it.\"\n\n\"That's a load of bullshit, he's only doing it to mess with me because he knows I've been skimming. You're not a little kid any more, Grimm. You should know Big G by now, he has a twisted sense of humor.\"\n\n\"Funny, he said the same about you. Alright, how about this? I'll bring back one of the crop for a little bit, and they can guide us through it.\"\n\n\"Fine, fine, let's get this shit over with.\"\n\nThe sun continued upward, peeking over distant trees, as the odd pair began the day in earnest. The taller of the two was a gangly, seedy looking man. He casually rested in the shade of his tractor, slowly chewing his way through an apple, as he watched his companion make the preparations. The shorter one in dark robes was walking around sniffing the air, looking for a proper vessel.\n\n\"Ah, here we go!\"\n\nPicking up some wheat, he deftly bent and tied the straws into a crude humanoid figure. Setting it on the ground, he tapped the head and quickly stood back. The straws rapidly expanded and grew, the wheat stretching outward to form body, limbs, and head. Soon, a naked man was laying on the field, coughing violently as his lungs got used to air once again.\n\nThe short man spoke up. \"Don't worry, take your time. People usually find the process tiring. Here, would you like some water?\"\n\n\"Yeah, and maybe you should put him in a recliner and jack him off while he's here,\" A voice came from the tractor. \"Let's just pump and dump, all we need are some instructions.\" A small rock that bounced off a foot above him seemed to be the only response.\n\nGroggily, the unclothed man sat up. He looked around at the vast fields around him, and met the eyes of the robed man in front of him. \"Where... where am I? Who are you?\"\n\n\"Well, those are complicated questions. I think it's simplest to say, you're on your way to see some old friends. You can call me Grimm, and the asshole you just heard was Lucy.\" Grimm gave his best smile as he put out his hand.\n\n\"H... hi, I'm Tom.\" His body matched his voice, quivering as he shook the outstreched pale hand.\n\n\"We're here to help you along. But first we need your assistance. With that.\" Tom followed his gaze, over to the tractor.\n\n\"What? Did I hit my head? The last thing I remember was... a tractor. But I was driving with Haley to meet her parents on their farm... and we were messing around... and... did I die?\"\n\nGrimm quickly chimed in, \"no no no, you're perfectly fine, see? You have arms and legs and eyes and a brain, and we need that brain of yours right now, so just stay calm and take deep breaths.\"\n\n\"Hold on.\" Lucy had gotten up and approached. \"Tom, did you just say that you were travelling to a farm?\"\n\n\"Yeah, I've been seeing this amazing girl from work, and I think I have a real shot at this, and she wanted me to meet her parents, but they live upstate and money's tight, so we had to drive for hours, and... the last thing I remember was a tractor was coming at us. Oh my god, is Haley alright?\"\n\nLucy's brows narrowed. \"Don't use the lord's name in vain, kid. I'm sure your girlfriend is doing just fine, she's probably in a hospital or ditch somewhere. Let backtrack a bit, you said you met at work? Where exactly do you work at?\"\n\n\"What? I'm an accountant at-\"\n\n\"God fucking damn it!\""
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[WP] It’s the 1600’s. A young William Shakespeare wants to learn to be a better actor and playwright when he meets his new mentor. He gets taught the methods of acting and writing. The mentor’s name is Tommy Wiseau
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"\"No, no, you got it all wrong!\" The man insisted, shaking his head. \n\nWilliam sighed quietly. He had no idea where this peculiar man had appeared, what his goal was and why he was willing to go through so much effort to teach him how to act. He seemed as unwilling to share his past as he was to run a comb through his thick, black locks. All he mentioned was that he had once made a \"big Elizabeth play\", and that it was \"no gypsy stuff\", whatever that meant. And honestly, it all sounded downright inspiring to William. At only nineteen years old, the man had yet to find a theater interested in putting on the plays he had written, and his acting skills were better left unmentioned. Getting better was a priority, and befriending a man with connections to the theater industry was a dream come true. So William nodded his head, ready to accept whatever knowledge the stranger could impart on him.\n\n\"You need emotion! That's real acting!\" He explained. \"Give me line!\"\n\n\"Uh...\" William scrambled through his manuscript, flipping back through the loose pages of his first play in order to find the paragraph that he needed. \"Remember, lords, your oaths to Henry sworn. Either to quell the Dauphin utterly, or bring him in obedience to your yoke.\"\n\nThe dark-haired man swallowed once, wetting his mouth in preparation for his monologue. Raising one hand up in the air, his half-sunken left eye staring blankly at some vague point in the distance, the mentor felt like he needed to take a moment to mentally adjust himself, get into character and then deliver what he perceived as the monologue that will shatter theater tradition for a thousand years.\n\n\"Remember LORDS!!!\" He yelled out from the top of his lungs. \"Your oaths... sworntohenry. To quell him most utterly, or bring him... to YOKE!!!\"\n\n\"Wow,\" William noted.\n\n\"I know, right?\" The man grinned. \"*Real* acting, ha-ha-ha!\"\n\n\"I don't know, I just... I guess I always thought that people should act naturally, you know?\" William sighed quietly. \"All the world's a stage, so why should the people on stage not act like the people in world?\"\n\n\"It's no good, William!\" The man insisted. \"Real life, is boring! Is gypsy stuff, is no real acting! You need emotion! It needs to come from here!\" He spoke, gently touching his mentee's chest. \"People don't have to see it. They can feel it.\"\n\n\"I guess you're right about that...\" The playwright noted. His friend's words had a point. As long as he could nail down the emotion, the rest would fall into place.\n\n\"Is late, huh?\" The stranger spoke, glancing up as if to verify that the sun had, indeed, descended since he last checked. \"Let's go. We speak more at my estate.\"\n\n\"You have an estate?\" William raised an eyebrow.\n\n\"Don't tell no one,\" the man reminded him. \"Where I live, what I eat, what I have. No one.\"\n\n\"Okay, sure,\" the playwright shrugged. It wasn't an unusual request, given his new companion's desire for secrecy. \"Can I at least know your name?\"\n\nA short pause.\n\n\"Lucy.\"\n\n\"Wait... Lucy? As in, *Thomas* Lucy?\" William gasped.\n\n\"Is Tommy. Never Thomas.\""
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[WP]Humanity has mastered transferring human consciousness into artificial bodies. After your procedure, you hear your flesh body say "WAIT! I'm still in here!" before it's about to be destroyed.
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"Ah.. the age old question, what makes you - well you? Is the person you are today the same as you were yesterday, or as I believe, we are merely the product of our memory and experiences?\n\n\n\nSure when EternalTech ™ first came out, there were riots – protests as luddites tried to deny both progress – and immortality. They’ve even had to gall to claim that the MachineMen are soulless abominations. Those luddites even embarked on their so called, “Great Crusade” rallying with one of those “faithhealers” or “psykers”\n\n\n\nNevertheless, steel is stronger than flesh – and now, I rid myself of my decaying flesh and join the ranks of the Eternal.\n\n\n** *** **\n*processing – emulation success*\n\n\nHmm..\n\nThis new body seems to simulate all my previous senses. I can feel my feet…\n\nI can simulate breath.\n\n\nI live.. Off in the distance, I hear a muffled shout “WAIT! I'm still in here!” in my old voice.\n"
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[WP] You are a part of a group of warriors that hunt down dangerous mythological beasts when they stray to far into human civilization. One day you and your hunting party finds out about a massive sea serpent swimming up the Mississippi river.
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"\"*Dammit!*\" Our resident Psion cried out. Aides rushed to his side, attepting to soothe their master's troubled mind.\n\n\"What now?\" I slammed my chalk box shut with a satisfying click.\n\n\"A serpent - *Maledictis Mare Armatus*. An ancient one, at that.\" He helpfully didn't mention just where it was. \"I was getting to that, Bastion. Always in such a rush. The... Mississippi river, just past Leatherman Point in Tunica, Louisiana. We have Coast Guard units on site.\" Mortals - help, hinderance, couldn't live without them regardless. The six of us rounded up our gear, and got to work.\n\n---\n\nI always hated teleportation. They said the cancers would go away - but they never did.\n\n---\n\nWe emerged onto a highway overpass, with people rushing past us without a care. It was always odd to me - how do you just *casually miss* ten people in plate armor made of monster corpses? Not to mention it **glows**! Pushing my way to the railing, I looked out on the placid waters. The serpent was nowhere to be seen, its massive coils staying below the surface. \n\n\"Alright, let's get this done! Magus, get 'im marked! Rifles, Venom ammo!\" I barked. The team quickly set to work, setting up a warding circle for the soon-to-be-wounded as our Magus prepared his mind to tag the serpent with a hunting spell. For my part, I helped draw it to the surface by jumping off the bridge. I never said I was a strategic genius. The serpent, in her defence, was actually ready for this. As I fell, I saw the water ripple in that specific way, right before I was engulfed by a mouth the size of a double-decker bus. I never really did get a good look at her; when you are being eaten, sientific observation goes out the window, alongside common sense. Cillia grappled with my armor, and a spiked tongue lashed at my wards. It was all I could do to hold it away from my waist, where the largest chink in the armor was. Spikes of cold iron and steel made with charcoal from Feywild trees (an adventure for another time) lacerated the inside of the serpent's mouth as I fumbled in the dark looking for room to draw my hunting knife.\n\nOkay, okay, it was a sword. *But*, it *is* designed like a giant bowie knife. That counts, right? Anyway, there was a lot going on outside, as evidenced by deafening roars. I answered in kind, and my mind was breached by a psychic battle song. I sang the song of my warrior ancestors, covered in the blood of my foe as the Eidolons of old.\n\n--- \n\nThe Dragon laughed, and His laughter sent mortal beasts and daemons alike to flight.\n\n---\n\n---\n\nComment, questions, concerns?"
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[WP] A horror story in which the narrator enjoys sarcastically mocking the main character's every choice.
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"Alright, first day as a narrator and I am pumped! What've ya got for me, guys?\n\nOoooo, a horror story?\n\nWell, this should be fun. Gotta love a good horror.\n\nHm?\n\nOh, right. I’m sorry, I’ll get started now.\n\n*Ahem*\n\nIt’s chasing him. He knows it is. He’s been running through the forest for hours and it still hasn’t stopped. If anything, it’s gotten closer. He knows it’ll catch him if she stops, so he just keeps running. Might be a good idea to try running somewhere OTHER than in a straight line, buddy.\n\nHe finally makes it to a seemingly abandoned house and rushes inside, locking the door behind him. No idea how strong the thing chasing him is, but since this is a horror story, it’ll PROBABLY get in regardless of whether the door is locked or not. Anyway, he sits down on the stairs, catching his breath. Yeah, great plan. Sit on old, creaky stairs without knowing whether anyone actually lives here. The monster presumably didn’t see you go in here if it hasn’t broken the door down yet, so sitting on something that’ll make a loud creak is a REAL good idea.\n\n Ok, I’m getting kinda sick of just saying ‘he’. Does he have a name?\n\nAlright then, I’ll name him myself.\n\nFuckface McGee gets up and peeks out of the small window embedded into the door. The glass is frosted, making it hard (heheh) to see outside. However, nothing seems to be out there. He’s safe.\n\nThen, at that exact moment, he hears a noise that causes his heart to drop.\n\nA window shatters in another room- Yuuuuup, totally called that. Great fucking idea letting your guard down, idiot.\n\nHe has to hide. It’s looking for him and he can hear it snuffling around in the other room. As quietly as possible, he creeps up the stairs. Ok, so he has SOME brain cells. At least he didn’t run up the creaky-ass stairs like all those other morons in horror stories. Eventually, he gets to the bedroom and hides in the closet because that has never gone badly in any piece of horror media ever. He waits for what seems like hours as the beast stomps its way through each and every room of the house, until he hears it creaking its way up the stairs. It’s then that, in the darkness of the closet, a ray of hope shines through. His arm bumps into something long and cylindrical in the corner. He recoils, but quickly works up the courage to touch the object again. His heart leaps once he realises what it is. It’s a shotgun.\n\nHe takes the gun and, squinting through the darkness, inspects it. It seems rather old-fashioned, but certainly functional. This’ll come in handy. He slowly opens the door to the closet and stands in the middle of the room, aiming the shotgun at the door to the bedroom. Now, I don’t mean to ruin the cool moment or anything, but everything he’s done in this house is an awful idea. To start with, instead of opening the nearest window and fucking booking it as far away from the house as possible, he ran upstairs and remained in the building that he knew an impossibly dangerous creature was looking for him in. Then, instead of just waiting in the closet with the shotgun pointed at the doors, he left his hiding space and left his fate up to the complete assumption that this shotgun had ammo in it and even worked at all. I’m sorry, I’m really trying to immerse myself in the story, but this is so clichéd that I honestly can’t take it seriously. The main character is such a braindead twat that I’m legitimately getting angry at him.\n\nOK, ANYWAY, the beast reaches the top of the stairs. Fuckface McGee hears it stomping slowly towards the door and, instead of creeping back inside the closet, stands his ground. He’s not gonna let this thing scare him anymore, he’s gonna root himself in place and face it head-on. It’s time that he stopped being a coward. After all, why try to keep himself alive when he can be a hero and die fighting in a place where no one will ever even know how he died? It’s TOTALLY a good idea to die a hero when, if your body is ever found (and that’s a big “if”), whoever finds it will just assume you got found and killed normally. Hell, they’ll probably think it was suicide, based on the shotgun with your DNA all over it that’d be lying next to your mangled corpse. \n\nThe doorknob turns. The door slowly creaks open and, for the first time, he sees the thing that’s been hunting him for so long. It’s absolutely horrifying, too horrifying for words…Great way of saving yourself the effort of describing it, writers, keep up the good work. Fuckface’s body starts trembling as it focuses on him. However, remembering who he’s supposed to be (whatever THAT means), he steels himself. “Who’s the hunter now, bitch?!” He pulls the trigger…\n\n…but nothing happens.\n\nThe gun doesn’t shoot. It must be out of ammo. Or it’s broken, which is a more likely explanation. Once again, I totally called this. He looks down at the gun, eyes wide with terror, before glancing back up at the creature. It’s standing directly in front of him now, mouth stretched into an impossibly wide grin. Its arms dangle down to the floor, its legs also being far too long. Before he can react, it lunges down and clamps its mouth shut around his neck, cutting his head off in one swift bite. With that one incredibly underwhelming final phrase, Fuckface McGee’s own dumb decisions have lead him to become nothing more than food for Cheshire Slenderman.\n\nAlright, that was fun. How d’you think I did, guys?\n\n…\n\nWhadya mean, “fired”?\n",
"A red light flashed on the dashboard. Check engine. It had been on for a month now, because some chucklefuck decided that going to the mechanic could wait.\n\nSam was in the driver’s seat. She was an attractive African-American woman in her early twenties. Her husband Luke was asleep in the passenger’s seat beside her. Luke was a white guy, just under six feet tall, who was currently dressed in his pajamas. So was Sam. \n\nThey wanted to drive through the night, feeling comfy, and check into their hotel ready to go to sleep. What an adorable, precious little plan. I do hope nothing goes wrong before they make it to the hotel. \n\nThe engine abruptly revved up, sounding like Sam had slammed the gas pedal to the floor. It struggled to accelerate even slightly, and gradually slowed to a halt. There was a loud beeping coming from the dashboard, and more warning lights had come on. If only there had been some way to see this coming, and address it before taking a three hour road trip. Sadly, Sam and her husband didn’t live in a universe where that was possible.\n\nSam put the car in park, sitting on the shoulder of the road. She flicked the overhead light on and poked her husband.\n\n“Luke. Heyyyyy. Luke.” \n\nHe stirred, growling like a bear forced out of hibernation early.\n\n“Something’s wrong with the car baby.”\n\n“Ugh. I’m up. I’m up.” \n\nAfter a quick check of the engine, Luke was forced to admit that he didn’t know what was wrong. \n\n“We should go for help,” Sam said.\n\nBoooo. Stay where you are and call someone.\n\nLuke was waving his phone around, not getting any bars.\n\nWhat kind of discount service are you on? This is a main road, you should have reception here.\n\n“It’s starting to look like that’s our only option,” he said reluctantly. “I can’t get a signal, and it could be a long time before someone comes by here in the middle of the night.\n\nNooooo. Just wait until morning, you dolt. You’re running straight into the plot.\n\nSam and Luke walked down the road for a mile until they found a little dirt track. The track led them to a big country house with a barn out back. The driveway passed through the middle of a corn field.\n\nThe pair walked up to the front door, heedlessly dismissive of potential crazed rednecks. By now, it was already too late. They should have just stayed at home.\n\nLuke knocked for a few minutes, starting off with hesitant taps and gradually progressing to banging on the door. Sam watched quietly.\n\n“I’m going to walk around, see if I can find a way in or a working phone. Watch the car, okay?”\n\nSam nodded. “Be careful.”\n\nWhat could possibly go wrong??\n\nAlmost immediately after Luke left, the door creaked open. \n\n“Luke?” she asked, peering into the darkness. “That was fast.”\n\nYeah, dumbfuck, your boyfriend is Wally West. For his next trick he’s going to run to get a tow truck.\n\nSam walked into the house like a deer investigating a brand new six-lane asphalt trail through the woods. The place was dark, with covered furniture. It felt like a heater had been running inside for quite a while.\n\nSigns were up, advertising the famous straw museum. In each room, little dolls made of straw decorated every flat surface that would hold them.Most of them were dark brown with age.\n\nThat’s not ominous at all, right? Sure a porcelain doll, or a wax museum, that would be a red flag. Then again, judging by your car’s current state, maybe you just can’t see red flags, Sam. Just keep wandering around a creepy house in your pajamas, that’s the way to do it.\n\nShe heard a strangled yell from outside. She ran from room to room, searching for a window. When she finally found one, she saw a body dangling from a tree.\n\n“Luke. No.”\n\nOooh, Luke, no. Good fucking luck with that broken neck sweetheart.\n\nSam managed to make it outside, and ran towards the tree Luke was hanging from. She hugged his leg, trying to get him down, but she would have had to climb the tree or been a lot stronger. There was no movement or any sign of life from him.\n\nShe stepped away, turning her back and crying.\n\n“It’s not fair. How could this have happened?”\n\nLife’s not fair. You can fuck up one time and lose everything. Welcome to the real world.\n\nOn the ground next to the body, she found Luke’s keys, wallet, and phone. When she picked up the phone, she saw that it now had five full bars.\n\nShould have checked your own phone, girl, instead of just relying on him to solve your problems. You could have waited just a few minutes and been able to phone for help. \n\nSam called the cops. They ruled the death a suicide, and said that no one had been in the straw museum in a few months. Sam knew better.\n\nShe quit her job, and drove out every day to the straw museum, trying to catch the monster. \n\nIt already killed Luke, what chance do you think you have being smaller and lighter?\n\n“A good enough chance,” Sam answered the voice in her head. Ever since she lost Luke, she kept going over the events of that night, and criticizing anything less than perfect.\n\nNo one else believed that Luke hadn’t killed himself, and she was going to keep trying to fix her mistakes from that night until she convinced them.\n\n“Just a silly little girl, waiting to be killed by a monster.” \n\nSam did her best to ignore it.\n______________________________________________________\n64/365. Constructive criticism welcome and appreciated.",
"Let me just start off by asking, why in the world would a guy in his late twenties choose to live alone in a cabin in northern Canada? I'll concede that I'm just a narrator but even I know that when you get this kind of setting nothing is going to go well for the main character.\n\nNevertheless our protagonist Frank, real creative mom and pop, has been hashing it out near the border of Alaska in the good ol' Yukon Territory. To his credit he has become mostly self sufficient, he melts his own water, can hunt/trap/fish most of his own food, and has even discovered the wonders of fire. I would even go out on a limb to say that this isolated recluse is doing a good job of it. \n\nNow, our tale begins when our hermit friend glances out of his cabins window and notices shoe tracks in the snow. The shocker being, they're not his. Frank knew that his cabin wasn't visible from the nearest road and that if someone found it, they must either know where it is or be extremely lucky. Our brave wilderness survivor decided he would venture out to investigate regardless. \n\nAfter he lit his oil lamp and put on his outdoor jacket he stepped outside and called out \"Hello? Is anyone there?\". To his disappointment no one called back. He thought to himself that if anyone was this far up north walking around in the snow at night then they must be in need of help. The thought didn't occur to Frank that as he stepped out on to the snow, both of those conditions now applied to him.\n\nFrank noticed that the shoe tracks that lead to his porch changed direction just before reaching his door and went right towards the back of his cabin. This made Frank feel uneasy, he began to abandon the idea that it was someone in need. He began to wonder if he was in danger. He stepped back inside his cabin, closed the door, and leaned against it. He let his nervous and frightened thoughts overwhelm him. He thought that he may be being hunted, that he may die in cold north and that no one would know. \n\nIn a stroke of bravery, after recalling all he had done do survive, he grabbed his rifle that was mounted on the wall above his wood furnace and stepped outside, forgetting to the lock the door. Now, not to spoil the excitement but if Frank had thought through his actions he might have remembered that his rifle wasn't, and hadn't be loaded in quite some time. Nevertheless Frank stormed out of his cabin and followed the footsteps to the back of his cabin. Whereupon he saw that the tracks led to his back window. The tracks there were deep, as if the person had stood there a long time. He wondered how long they had been watching him, what they had seen, where they were now. \n\nWith one hand carrying a oil lamp and another a unloaded rifle Frank nervously turned around, now facing the forest. He hadn't ventured far into the woods. He knew it housed snow foxes and wolves that would take chunks out of his leg gleefully given the opportunity. But the tracks lead there. If only Frank's lamp was bright enough it would have revealed to him that the tracks did in fact not go into the forest. Instead, they went some 70 meters out and flanked left back to the front of the cabin. \n\nUnannounced to Frank a shadow now stood on the other side of the window, inside his cabin, watching him. Frank took several steps towards the forest, all the while carefully considering his actions up until that point. He still failed realize that he hadn't loaded his rifle or that he didn't lock his door as he left. Regardless as he drew nearer to the forest his lamp had begun to show a curve in the path of the foot steps. Not much further it dawned on him what had occurred. At that point he turned around to face his cabin. \n\nFrank's eyes widened and in disbelief he saw a silhouetted figure brooding as it watched him from the back window in his cabin. Frank stood there stunned in the snow, halfway between the forest and his cabin. He felt rage begin to fill him. His only place of safety, his sanctuary, had been violated. He raised his gun and took aim at the figure. It neither flinched nor contested, it merely stood there. Frank pulled the trigger but he only heard the sound of the firing pin. It was empty. He suddenly was knocked down from behind. He could feel sharp stabbing pains in his back and along his legs. Frank struggled, he tried to crawl toward the cabin. He saw the figure still standing behind the window, watching him. Then wolves began to appear from peripheral vision, eventually engulfing him.\n\nWell, there you haven't. I can't speak to what I would have done if I were in Frank's situation. But I can assure you that I wouldn't have gone to see who it was and I sure as hell wouldn't be in the Yukon. Idiot.\n\n\n",
"> Soory, At work so it's short,\n\nYes, Sarah great choice. Open doors are so 2008. great job, you. Sarah Mercer is a 21 year old accountant who enjoys long walks on the beach and breathtaking sprints through this manor in the WRONG DIRECTION. Despite this she is a total peach, kind to everyone, which is why her friends have paid a man to kill her. Whoops, spoiler. Let's hope she dies in the end.\n\tI dont mean to hate Ms. Mercer, she just makes it so easy, and as she makes her way down the long barely furnished hallway it's easy to see why. I mentioned the iopen door but she's also tripped over every carpet bulge, corner molding and STILLETTOS IN AN ABANDONED HOUSE, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? \n\tBut it seems practical dress is far from the biggest mistake she has made to date. Following Mark into this slasher film of a building squeezes its way to the top of the list, nuymber one being that door i mentioned. But I digress, it's just so hard to focus. I mean, Look at her. She's managed to lose the man in the plague doctor mask, and now is calling for help. Help being found more like, Mr Plague Doctor has ears you idiot.\n\tGod it's so hard to narrate, but I'll press on. "
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[WP] Every human is born with a number engraved on the back of their necks. You are almost 100% certain the person in front of you in the train has the numbers “ 0000 “.
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"N(0-0;)mb34s & N06g1n5 (Short #12)\n\n**0000**\n\nNo.\n\nThat can’t be right. My eyes must be wrong. My prescription is outdated, yeah, that’s it! There’s no way someone’s number could be **0000**. Not when my number is **7692(D-A)**. It’s just not possible.\n\nWith one billion people starting on each letter, then the second letter representing the year. I, like most of my class, was born in the **A** generation of **D** billion, but this person, **0000**.\n\nNo year. No number. No billion. Nothing. \n\nThey must be no one.\n\n“He-y, Amy, your staring off again.” Violet said, accentuating the first word.\n\n“Sorry, just thought I saw something weird.”\n\n“O-h, like what?” She asked in her curious manner, hanging onto my arm. “I want to see something freaky-cool.”\n\nThat’s weird. What was it I was going to show her?\n__\n\nCrossing my fingers this turns out, I just tried new stuffity wuffity and crap, enjoy!"
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[WP] You are the author of a best-selling book series. In your last book, you decide to kill off everyone and let the villain win. Years later, a heartbroken fan recognizes you and asks, "Why?"
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"\"Because.\" I said bluntly. \n\"Because what?, people loved your books, we were invested in them, attached to them! How can you just say 'Because' like its nothing?\"\nHer eyes started to glisten, she looked as if she could shatter at any second, fragile like glass. I looked at her dead in the eyes and I tried damn it, I tried to tell her that I was sorry and that I was selfish and didn't want to try anymore, that I was on edge, bored and lonely, surrounded by these mainstream illusions that I had spawned of my own naive volition but no. The breath that formed those words did not muster in my throat, nor pass through my waking mind as I muttered through jaded teeth, \"Because life doesn't always flow straight. It bends and curves like a wounded viper, bleeding misfortune onto that hallowed ground of times gone past. Their death was uncalled for, yes but needed, maybe?\"\nGod, I could ramble. Spouting pretentious garbage was easy to do, in fact it made up most of my autobiography. All about 'writing from the heart' and 'not lying to yourself'. What a load of bullshit. Yeah I could lie to them. I always could, but now was too far, she deserved to know. Hell, they all did. \n\n\"Really?\" she sighed. \"Don't kid yourself.\"\nWhat did she just say? 'Don't kid yourself'? That makes sense but not from her mouth. Not from the one that seemed so hurt to be told these skewed truths.\n\"Yeah, that makes sense, huh.\"\n\"What?\"\nI said that out loud didn't I. You moron. \nYeah, don't kid yourself.\nTell her the truth. \nDo it.",
"The cafe was one of my favorites, a tiny one in a small beach town, one of the places I chose to call home. One of the homes that the success of the The Alchemists had bought for me.\n\nIt was easy to reflect on the books because it was such a large part of my success. The first one sold alright, but the second was where things had really taken off, and by the time the third hit, it was marked for a show. Two books later, and I achieved something very few authors could ever hope to achieve - not just financial independence, but financial success on a wide scale.\n\nA half-drunk latte sat on the table before me, and I had a book in my hand. It had been years since The Alchemists had ended, and over a year since I had released my last book. I wasn’t about to used the “R” word, but the money was still flowing in on its own, and it was nice to enjoy someone else’s work for once, especially when it was accompanied by a sunny day and a cool breeze coming off the sea.\n\n“Excuse me?” The voice was tiny, timid, almost frightened, like that of a little girl, but when I lowered my book, I found a grown woman standing before me, in her twenties, I guessed, clad in a light dress over a swimsuit, beach bag hanging from her side.\n\nI placed my bookmark and closed the book, smiling as warmly as I could muster as I placed the book in my lap. It happens from time to time, getting interrupted in the midst of your day, but it’s rare enough that I never try to hide from it. “What can I do for you?”\n\n“You…” She licked her lips and swallowed. She knew me, and she was nervous. This was rarer, but not unheard of. “Are you Chester Nolan?”\n\n“Indeed I am,” I said emphatically, maybe a little too much, but I like to at least pretend that I’m excited to talk to them. It wouldn’t be fair to be a grouch to those who made you rich, not that that stopped some from doing so.\n\nIt was as though a pipe had been broken. “I can’t believe it! I thought it was you, I was certain. Even from the side, it looked like the picture on the back of the books. I just...I don’t think you understand what The Alchemists meant to me as a child. I must have read them a hundred times just in high school.”\n\nShe took a moment to fish around in her bag and pulled out a book, so worn and tattered, the image faded so that at first glance, it wasn’t obvious what it was. She held it out to me, and I took it, handling it gingerly. It was the first run of The Blessed Forge, the first book of the series. The art was crap in my opinion, a cheap solution from a lesser known publisher - I had a framed print of it somewhere in the attic. The later editions were much cleaner, much more professional.\n\nI smiled once more as I handed it back. “I am always happy to meet such a fan.”\n\n“I have so many questions,” she said, her voice still a vomit of words, pouring out faster than the poor girl could think, I’m sure. “But I know you’re trying to enjoy your day, so I won’t bother you too much.”\n\n“Nonsense,” I said, motioning to the chair. “Sit with me, I have nothing to do today.” I hoped she would refuse, but if not, I’m sure it would make a cool story on Reddit. I made a mental note to be the one to ask her for a picture, maybe offer her something free. Make someone’s day and do a bit more to dispel the crotchety recluse image my agent kept telling me I needed to shake off.\n\nShe nodded furiously and sat down, placing the beach bag down beside her. “I...I don’t even know where to start. I mean, I always loved your characters. I felt like Chloe in particular spoke right to.”\n\n“Ah yes, Chloe,” I said. “A wonderful character, shy yet spunky, quiet yet strong, smart and beautiful in her own special way.” Of course, Chloe spoke to everyone. She was written like a horrorscope in that way if you asked me, a throwaway character that I meant to kill off in the second book, but she resonated with the female audience so much that my publisher sent the first draft right back and told me to rewrite.\n\nOnce more the girl nodded. “She was so special, and so relatable when I was in high school. And I loved how she ended up with Jared instead of Will. Will never deserved her like Jacob did.”\n\n“Of course not,” I said. “The logical choice was Jared, because no one ever thought him good enough.”\n\n“And she saw him for what he was,” she said, beaming at me. “I knew that’s how you thought, I knew it.”\n\n“Great minds, they always say,” I said with a laugh. It sounded forced to me, but she never gave any indication that she noticed it. This was easy, too easy really. Maybe that hack from the Times was right, maybe I did appeal to a lower breed of reader.\n\n“Yes, yes,” she agreed. “Everything made sense to me, perfectly, like you were reaching into the soul and taking the exact right course. Even the twists I never saw coming were right, because when all was said and done, when I went back, everything made perfect sense. Or well, almost everything.”\n\nI clenched my teeth behind my lips while trying to hold my smile. I knew exactly what was coming. “What do you mean?” I asked.\n\n“The ending of Panaceas,” she said. “The way the series ended, with them dying. It just...it went against everything the series stood for, everything leading up to it. I mean...why?”\n\n“Why what?”\n\n“Why kill them all? Why let the Charlatan win?”\n\n“Tell me…” I trailed off at her name.\n\n“Hayley.”\n\n“Hayley. Tell me, Hayley, why did it not make sense?”\n\n“It was against character,” she said. “Will would never have sacrificed himself for anything, certainly not the rest of them. Jared would never have left Chloe behind. And Francis was more than capable of creating the cure, especially with Laurence helping her. None of it made sense.”\n\nI kept my voice calm. “I can tell you that I poured over the possibilities for months. I went through every possible ending conceivable, but the way it ended when it went to market was the only way that made sense.” I smiled once more. “Even my publisher agreed.”\n\nShe shook her head. “No, that doesn’t seem sincere. There are so many ways the books could have ended.\n\n“Hayley,” I said calmly, though something began to throb behind my forehead, a stress headache. “If you go back and read, you will see that there are hints throughout the books, hints of their failures and of their weaknesses.”\n\n“Mr. Nolan, I have read the books,” she said. “Dozens of times, each of them. None of it makes sense, and most of your fans agree with me.”\n\n“Ah, but does that make them right?” I asked. “Are interpretations chosen by majority vote like a democracy? I leave it up to fans to come to their own conclusions, wrong though they may be.”\n\n“But it’s not wrong, Mr. Nolan.” She was talking fast again, looking everywhere but my eyes. “There have been complex analyses, people who have run through pages of books, your books, Mr. Nolan, and have proven out what I’ve just stated.”\n\nThe tension in my head was growing. I regretted inviting her to sit down, regretted coming to the cafe, regretted coming to the beach town. “Fans with too much time on their hands and too much imagination. It is a book, a work of fiction placed onto paper from the depths of my mind. Nothing more.”\n\n“No, Mr. Nolan.” She was close to tears now. “You created a masterpiece, a series that inspired people all over the world. People like me who grew up with the books, who related so deeply with the characters, who found the work, your work, so inspiring. And you threw it away just like that. Just like that, you broke the hearts of millions of fans. Why, Mr. Nolan? Why?”\n\nAs she spoke, I could feel the tension growing, the pressure in my skull threatening to burst. Then, it did, as though someone had turned a release valve and the contents emerged as words through my mouth. “Because the world is not all sunshine and roses. Because sometimes the bad guys win, and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Because after five books and countless spinoffs, I was so sick and tired of writing those kids, Chloe in particular, that I wanted to be damn sure that I would never have to write another word about them. So I killed them, and I made sure that there was no chance of them returning.”\n\nThe words poured out louder and faster than I would have liked. I felt the relief in my mind, and as my vision cleared, I saw a distraught girl before me, looking about ten years younger as tears began to flow. I felt a twinge of guilt, but only a little. There was a reason I shunned book signings and convention appearances like the plague.\n\nHayley stood from her seat slowly. I watched her remove the book from her bag and lay it gently on the table. She sniffed, staring down at the ratty book. “I’m sorry to have wasted your time, Mr. Nolan. And to have wasted mine.”\n\nShe turned away and walked quickly from the cafe. From the corner of my eye, I could see a few people casting sidelong glances at me, but I ignored them. I was at peace once more, just me, the ocean breeze, and the little cafe a block from the beach.\n\nI took a sip of coffee, then picked up my book and resumed my reading.\n\n---\nLike what you read? Check out more at /r/drewmontgomery"
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[WP] You are able to see the aura of a person by looking at them. One day, you meet a someone without one.
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"You've been able to see the auras of people all your life. Its been distracting when you were younger, but as time went on, it got easier and easier. You've gotten used to seeing the muddled mix of colors on your daily commute, and walking through the streets has become more or less a daze of blurred colors.\n\nYou walk into a convenience store, looking to buy some snacks before class. You settle on some chips and a can of soda, and you pay the cashier, his cerulean aura giving him a comforting glow. As you walk out the doors, you see a flash of black hair, and then feel the ground underneath you. You look at the girl who had bumped into you, who looks at you briefly before walking into an aisle. As you walk to school, you feel a sense of unease, but you can't quite place your finger on it.\n\nAs you sit in class staring at your textbook, you realize something.\nThe girl had no aura.\n\nWhat exactly had you bumped into this morning? "
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[WP] You've been an angel doing you job for over half a millennium. It's only now that someone tells you that you've been doing your job wrong the entire time.
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"\nI was heading back with a freshly reaped soul to heaven when I met an acquaintance from hell. It was Pride, one of the Seven Sins, and he seemed to be quite agitated for some reason.\n\n\"Hey Pride. What's up?\"\n\n\" Oh hey there, Gabes. Nothing much. Just trying to figure out why more than a trillion souls which were supposed to end up in hell are not there.\"\n\n\"A trillion. How did you not notice that so many souls were not ending up in hell?\"\n\n\"Yeah, yeah. I know but we anyway had so many souls coming in and...\"\nSuddenly he froze, staring at the soul in my hand.\n\n\"Gabriel, what is that in your hand?\"\n\n\"Oh this, just one of them which I picked up now.\"\n\n\"Would you care to explain to me, why the HELL are you taking a soul clearly marked for hell, to heaven!?\"\n\n\"Wh-what? But I thought I was supposed to take all those marked with the star to heaven? That's what I have been doing for almost half an aeon.\"\n\nPride takes a look at the symbol I'm pointing towards on the back of the soul.\nHe raises an eyebrow.\n\"Gabriel, that's the cursed symbol of Satan you're pointing to right there...\"",
"“Mrs. Adams, you have lived a good life. You have done well in helping your fellow man.” I began my conclusion. \n\n“Hurry up Peter, Metatron is doing an impression of God and it is hilarious, he’s telling blind people to come towards the light... just finish this one up and we can go watch!” Gabriel impatiently stood behind me, as I judged this soul.\n\n“Okay, Okay, you’re good.” I raised my left arm and moved it from right to left to send Mrs Adams to the afterlife, and she was gone with a flash.\n\n“Uh, dude... did you just swipe left?” Gabriel suddenly lost his impatience.\n\n“Uh, yeah, she was a good soul.” I said defensively.\n\nGabriel looked horrified as he hurried his face in his hands. “Left is ‘no’, right is ‘yes’...”\n\n“No it’s not... don’t joke about something like that!” Just then I saw an impartial second opinion walk by. “Michael, swipe left is heaven and right is hell, right?”\n\n“This isn’t funny Peter, don’t play around.” Came the stern reply.\n\n“No really, you guys stop joking... this isn’t funny”. Panic set in as I frantically pleaded with them to stop the joke.\n\n“Hey, Raphael, get a load of this: Peter thought swiping left was ‘yes’!” Gabriel had somehow begun to find he humour in it. “Oh my God, how long have you been doing his for? This is hilarious!”\n\n“500 years now...” my face went pale as the blood drained. “I have been doing this wrong for 500 years...”\n\nThe others burst out laughing. I felt someone slap my back. “Well, you’re fucked.”"
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[WP] One day everyone wakes up with a tally count of how many people they have killed above their head. The day goes by with murderers being constantly convicted. When you get home, your significant other has 2 tallies.
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"We’ve been together almost a year, and she’s the most amazing thing that ever happened to me. She is beautiful, funny, vibrant, fun, insightful and kind. Way out of my league, but I spend every minute I can and every penny I have trying to make her happy. \n\nI mean, yeah, sometimes she gets a little snappy with me, and it would be nice if she took more of an interest in my hobbies, or liked simpler things like staying in with a pizza and Redbox instead of a night out in a trendy club every weekend, but it’s worth it to see her happy. I know she needs time with her girlfriends, it’s important to have outside interests in a relationship. I love watching her have fun, I’m not much of a dancer myself but she’s got lots of dance partners waiting in line. \n\nToday is the day, though. I picked out the ring months ago; picked it up today and I’m so excited to get home! I keep getting news alerts on my phone about the numbers, people getting arrested left and right. The guy who owns the jewelry store had a number of 5... but he’s pretty old, probably from Vietnam? Anyway, that’s not what today is about for me. Today is about her. I can’t wait to see her face when I give her the ring! I keep envisioning the amazing life we will have together, and what our kids are going to look like. I hope they get her looks and not mine. \n\nShe’s been a little weird lately, for the past couple of weeks she has been kind of quiet. We still go out on the weekends but she doesn’t party like she used to, and she always seems a little tired. Maybe that stomach bug she’s had is catching up with her and dragging her down. \n\nOk, amazing, got the flowers now and the ring box in my pocket - there’s not even any traffic! I’m going to get home even sooner than I thought and I can’t wait to surprise my best girl! \n\nWait, where’s her car? Her car isn’t here. It’s Wednesday, she doesn’t usually have anything on Wednesday... Pilates is Monday, book club is Tuesday, girls night is Thursday... Wednesday is her ‘me’ day. So where is my girl? Hm, maybe she could be out shopping, or getting groceries to make me a home cooked dinner? Nahhhhh, probably shopping. Well... let me get in here and put these flowers in a vase and chill the champagne, I’m sure she’ll be home soon. \n\nMan, this number thing is so crazy. When we heard about it this morning we both ran to the bathroom to see if we had them. No, of course we didn’t, we’ve never killed anyone! My dad called and said he had a 1, from the time he got into that accident and hit that other guy’s car when I was little. This is going to be tough on him and my mom, to go through that again, it took years for him to get help and then he fina— yes! I hear her car! \n\nI’ll just stay here in the living room and wait for her to come in. Quick, turn the lights down and light some candles, that’s a nice ambiance. Ooh, let me get down on one knee and wait. Yeah, that’s good. \n\n....\n\n....\n\nOk... what’s taking so long? Is she sitting in the car staring at her phone again? What could she possibly be doing? She obviously knows I’m home, my car is in the driveway. Why isn’t she coming in the door? Ooh, I hear keys. It’s go time! \n\n‘Welcome home, baby! Come into the living room, I’ve got a surprise for you!’\n\nHer steps are slow... hesitant. Like she’s dragging her feet. What’s going on with my girl? She usually loves surprises. \n\nWhen she walks into the room I’m surprised to see that she’s wearing yoga pants, flip flops, and my college hoodie. Is she sick? Is she in pain? I’ve never seen her dressed down like this before and it’s actually kind of alarming. Of course I jump up and run to her, and as I get close she steps into a pool of candle light... and I see it clearly now, hovering over her, the number 2? What? What is happening? \n\n‘Baby, what is going on? You have a number? How did this happen? This is obviously a mistake! We need to call someone right no— what? Why are you crying?’ \n\nAs she says ‘we need to talk, I have to tell you something...’ I sink to the floor as it all becomes clear...\n\n\n\n",
"OK! SO! gonna post this in two posts, first time doing one of these but this came to me on the spot and had to get it down! Be gentle please ;_;\n\n****************************************************\n\"Oh Lord Ra you have to be kidding me!\" \n\nI damn near tripped trying to get away from him, the number two hovered above his head in a bright blue. He wouldn't raise his gaze to look up at me, all he could do is stand there in the living room with his eyes down and his whole body shaking. \n\n\"Two...Two people!? Holy shit Eric! What the hell did you do?!No. No fucking way.\"\n\nI just kept running through scenario after scenario in my head as to what he could've done. Three years we'd been together, three years I'd loved him without question and he'd killed two damn people. \n\n\"Matt you don't understand. It's not like-\" \n\nBut I cut him off. I was so angry, so livid, and beyond all of that, terrified. \n\n\"We have to go. Now. We have to get out of here, we...we can go out of town, maybe in a few days or weeks the numbers will dissappear and we can come back, I'll...I'll get some time off work! I have enough days stored up.\" \n\nHe shook his head and just kept looking away. \n\n\"We don't have to run Matt...The cops won't come.\" \n\nMy blood ran cold. What the hell did he mean by that? \n\n\"If you go out anywhere, if you go to work, hell if you're near an open window and someone catches sight of it...Lord Anubis be damned Eric...I can't-\" \n\nIt was him that cut me off this time. \n\n\"DAMNIT MATTHEW WILL YOU JUST LISTEN FOR TWO SECONDS?!\" \n\nIn three years not once had he ever used my full first name before. Nor had he ever raised his voice to me before...It honestly was like a slap to the face, and it was enough to make me stand there staring at him in the silence of the living room.\n\n\"They won't come because I'm already in the records. I've already been tried...Five years ago...I was found not guilty. Two counts of second degree murder. Not guilty by reason of self-defense.\" \n\n\nAnd all at once I felt the energy leave my body. 1000 scenarios in my head and out of all them, I honestly wasn't expecting that. \n\n\"What happened?\" Those were about the only two words I could muster at that moment. \n\n\"My ex...before you. Gods damnit he was insane...he started out so kind, he loved me unconditionally, and then after a while the sheen wore off the relationship. Things got bad...as bad as they can get and he became violent. Physically...emotionally. He knew how to hit me just right that it didn't leave marks...He'd yell at me over every little mistake. After a while he broke me to my core.\"\n\n",
"It is ridiculous to think that one day we could all wake up with our own personal secrets floating atop our heads. Well, like in most cases, I am wrong – again. Ever since the invention of ‘World Lens’ by Franklin Howard Barkley, everything in our modern day society keeps proving my accusations of what is now possible entirely wrong.\n\nLet me begin with what happened today. This morning, just like any other day, I woke up and immediately pushed myself into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I never even looked at my wife. I always had a system every morning. That system came to a halt when I realized that my wife was not even in the house. I basically made this discovery upon running down the stairs to grab my breakfast before my briefcase. Except, there was no breakfast. There was nothing in the kitchen but a note lying on the table. I picked up the note and read,\n\n*‘Morning Sleepy-head!*\n\n*Tammy and I went out to the market today. Harold and Tammy are planning on joining us for dinner tonight to celebrate your birthday!*\n\n*Love,*\n*Your Wifey!’*\n\nI sat the letter down and became disgusted. It wasn’t because of Harold or Tammy joining us for dinner, it wasn’t even because I didn’t have my usual breakfast, it was the fact that I forgot today was my birthday.\n\nRolling my eyes, I noticed that World Lens had an icon of balloons and celebration art placed above my head. But let’s not get off topic. This story isn’t about my birthday. It is about what World Lens had done. With the new DNA research along with heavy investigation through their system, World Lens activated something that slammed our city to a stopping point.\n\nI didn’t notice anything until I was riding the morning bus to work and someone next to me had three lines above their head. I leaned over and asked,\n\n“What do those lines mean?”\n\nThe gentleman’s eyes grew wide. He shoved me out of my seat while yelling at the bus driver,\n\n“Let me outta’ here now!”\n\nEveryone around me panicked. I didn’t understand what was happening until an elderly lady yelled behind me,\n\n“He’s a murderer!”\n\nThe bus became a chaotic disarray of people trying to get off. I noticed more lines were popping up above certain individuals once we all ran out onto the sidewalk before the usual stop.\n\n*Tally marks.* I thought to myself. *They must be tally marks.* \n\n“Stop right there!” A whistle blew. Police swarmed all over the streets. A man from behind me knocked my briefcase out of my hand scattering all of my work material on the pavement below. I stood there watching as police arrested anyone with tally marks above their head. Drones swarmed down to cover every intersection in the city. I looked up towards the tall buildings stretching high into the clouds before noticing more drones circling all the businesses.\n\nI couldn’t believe what was happening. I didn’t quite understand how World Lens did what they did. I took in a deep breath before raising my eyes above my brow. \n\n“Whew,” I sighed aloud. I still had the stupid birthday balloons above my head. \n\nI quickly tried calling my wife but she didn’t answer. I didn’t even bother to pick my stuff up off the ground. Guns were going off down the street in front of the main city bank. Fire started to break out from the drones shooting back. I couldn’t understand how there were so many murderers out there. Unless, I started tightening up, World Lens somehow got it all wrong and their numbers were off. I mean, what if they were hunting people that never even murdered anyone? What if they were hunting soldiers that fought in our war? It all became too much. I knew better than to go into work. There was no work anywhere today.\n\nI turned around before noticing no one was going anywhere. All of the traffic was piled with cars people stranded. My wife still wouldn’t pick up her phone. I started to do the only thing that I could do, walk back home. \n\nIt was a few hours of watching chaos take over the city. I just slipped by everyone with my birthday balloons icon trying not to make myself too noticeable for any reason. It took all day for me to finally get back to the neighborhood where I lived. I only had a few tears in my suit by the time I was at my front door. I slowly opened the door. I heard my wife singing in the kitchen. The dining table had already been set up for a nice candle-lit dinner. \n\n“Uh,” I paused with the door wide open behind me. “Do you not know what is going on?”\n\n“Everything is fine dear! Sit down and sample the meatloaf.” My wife continued humming from the kitchen.\n\n“No seriously, do you not know what is going on out there? What is all of this?” I pressed. I moved towards the kitchen.\n\n“Just sit down! It’s your birthday!” She yelled back. I could hear her chopping something up on the kitchen counter. She hid herself to where I couldn’t see her from the dining table. The entrance to the kitchen had sheets hanging down so I couldn't even see inside the kitchen itself. I didn’t want to spoil any surprises she may have had for me but I couldn’t take my mind off of the chaos happening in our own city.\n\n“Honey, we need to talk about what is happening out there.” I sat down taking a bite out of the meatloaf positioned in the center of our table. Before I continued my next statement. I noticed there were only placements made for two people. “Honey, I thought Harold and Tammy were joining us?”\n\nI heard a giggling sound from my wife. “They are joining us silly!” She finally came into the dining room with red smears all over her apron. \n\n“Did you have a problem opening the wine again?” I tilted my head up. It took a second before I felt my jaw drop wide open. I noticed my wife had two tally marks above her head. I saw her knuckles turn to white over the knife she was holding. I felt my back pressed up against the chair.\n\n“So, where is Harold and Tammy?” I asked hesitantly.\n\nMy wife smiled and pointed before responding with,\n\n“Did you like the taste of the meatloaf I made you?”\n\n***\n\nTo read more of my stories, visit [r/13thOlympian] (https://www.reddit.com/r/13thOlympian/)",
"“Cally, you’ll never guess what” Pete called out as he came through the front door. Fumbling to lock the latch with one hand while carrying a briefcase and pizza box in the other he continued; “you know Simon, ginger Simon from work?” With the door locked he stood on his heels one at a time, slipped off his shoes, flicked them in to the pile of unorganised footwear by the coat rack and continued toward the kitchen. “Well he had one of those lines above his head this morning but didn’t know what it meant so he came in to work. Turns out he had a fi..”\nPete stepped in to the kitchen and when he saw his girlfriend of three years a gut punch of shock knocked the pizza box and briefcase out of his hand and a wave of fear pulsed through his body.\n\nCally was sat at the kitchen island wearing a dressing gown, tendrils of cigarette smoke hung in the air around her; forty or fifty butt ends were stubbed out in a make shift ash tray on the marble counter top. She had only moved in to his a few months ago and Pete had strictly banned smoking inside the house. The skin around her eyes throbbed and burned red from rubbing, makeup was streaked down her face and she was trembling. Above her head were two small white lines.\n\n“Pete please, please don’t call the police, let me explain, I can explain” Cally’s voice cracked as she pleaded and tears began to well in her eyes.\n“Cally” Pete said softly as he walked towards her, completely ignoring the carcinogenic fog. The way he said her voice and reached to hold her make up stained hand told her that he wouldn’t be calling the police. Pete pulled her head in to his chest and began to stroke her hair. “What’s happened” the moment he began to speak his jaw quivered and he tried to swat the lines away. “Has there been a mistake, why have you got two lines, it can’t be for the same reason as all the others?” \n\n“I HAVE KILLED, PETE” she interrupted sharply pulling her head away from his chest. Their eyes connected through a wall of tears and she held his confused gaze. “I have killed” she repeated, this time in a softer tone, “twice.”\n“I’ve wracked my brain all day and all I can think of is that it has to be from when I was a health care assistant living in Truro before I moved up here. I was only 19. I’d been working at the hospital for about 5 months and a newly qualified nurse, Amy, started working on the ward. We got on really well and mostly worked the same shifts. One time We were looking after a patient together and she asked me to give him a newly prescribed antibiotic, but five minutes after he took it I went back in to the room and he was struggling to breathe, went in to anaphylactic shock and died. The same thing happened a month later to an old lady. Amy was sacked and was struck off of the register for drug error. I was a HCA so was acting solely under her instruction, nothing happened to me but I had to leave the hospital for personal reasons.”\n\nPete listened the story and it seemed to settle both their nerves. The tears had stopped and the shaking had calmed down. “Well that’s not murder” his words came out relieved and breathy. “You were just doing as you were told, I’ll find the number for the hospital and get records, and I’ll call my lawyer, Sam.” As Pete reached for his phone Cally snatched it from his hand, “NO,” she yelled “not yet. I want to grab a few bits from my storage unit. I kept a diary the whole time I worked at the hospital. And all my old certificates, pay slips, performance reviews and all that stuff are in boxes in storage. I just want to have all that ready to give to Sam. Please Pete.”\nHe gave half a smile and nodded, “if you think it will help. Let me get changed out of my work clothes and we can drive to the storage unit.”\nHe put one hand on the bannister and went to climb the stairs but she grabbed his forearm and squeezed. “We haven’t got time” the urgency in Cally’s voice made him forget he also needed to pee.\n\nThe only sound on the car journey was the gentle hum of the engine. Cally was staring out of the window, Pete kept flicking his eyes to look at the two white lines above her head; in the dark stretches between the streetlights one line seemed to glow brighter than the other. He couldn’t take the silence anymore and needed to break it. \n“When I helped you write your CV you didn’t mention anything about being a HCA in Truro.”\nThe sentence was a statement but the tone it was said in demanded an answer.\nCally paused, then said “Well I didn’t think it was relevant for a secretary job. Plus I try and forget about it because of the deaths.”\n“Yeah I suppose” Pete replied. Then came another 10 minute silence. He was trying to watch the road but his eyes were drawn to the white lines above her head, especially the brighter of the two.\n\n“Did my brother come over to fix the bathroom extractor fan?” He asked trying once again to coax her in to a conversation. Not that it would have provided much to talk about.\n“No he didn’t” Cally said sharply while still keeping her gaze fixed out of the window. \n“Weird, he definitely had the day off because he told me he..”\nCally cut in, “He didn’t come over, Pete, and I haven’t heard from him so just call him tomorrow” her voice was irritated.\n‘Must be her nerves. Poor thing’ He thought.\n\nThey reached the storage unit, and began to search the cardboard boxes for supporting documents, Pete searched the left and Cally took the right.\n“I love you, Pete.”\n“I love you too, Cally.”\nPete was searching frantically, scanning every piece of paper for key words. \n\n“You can’t move on when I go to prison, I couldn’t live with that” Cally said, her voice stern and serious. \n“You aren’t going to prison, once we find these documents and I call Sam we can build a defence ca..”\n“You don’t understand,” her voice was just as serious, but this time it sounded closer. He stopped suddenly, still on his knees, and sensed someone was stood behind him.\n“You can’t move on when I go to prison.”\nAs panic set in Pete turned his body to see Cally stood over him with a blade in her hand. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING” Pete barked, but as he went to stand she swung the knife wildly, tears streaming down her face. The blade went straight through his left forearm when he tried to block it from going in to his neck.\nShe pulled the knife out and he fell to the ground clutching his arm. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry Pete, I didn’t want this.” She was crying hysterically now, blood flicked off of the blade from her shaking.\n“Whatever put these marks on my head caused this, it was an accident, my old landlord tried to attack me but I pushed him down the stairs. When he was knocked out I strangled him and buried him in the garden, I don’t know what came over me.”\n\nPete was still on the floor and had his left arm pressed tight against his chest to stem the bleeding. She moved towards him slowly, still crying and shaking.\n“B-but..the the hospital” Pete stuttered. \n“Then when the line turned up on my head and I found out what it was I knew I was marked for prison and a life without you. While I planned what to do about it Dan came round to fix the fan. He threatened to call the police and I would have been arrested before I got to see you so I chased him upstairs with a knife and dealt with him.”\n“My brother” Pete sobbed, “you killed Dan.”\n“I had to Pete, I didn’t want to, just like I don’t want to do this but if I have to spend the next 40 years in prison while you live your life and start a family I’d go insane.”\n“I fucking hate you, you bitch.” Pete had started to turn pale from blood loss and scuffed his feet in an attempt to move away from her, but she walked around him and knelt behind him. With one arm around his chest she rested her face on the back of his head. “I’m sorry Pete, I love you” she whispered and kissed his head; then the knife kissed his throat. Cally stood, dropped the knife and walked out of the storage unit.\n\n—————————————-\n\nThank you for reading, that was my first attempt at writing anything and I’d really appreciate any feedback you might have :)\n",
"\"Hey, honey. I'm home. I swear, Bill is out to get me. Today, he criticized me in a group email. Fucker sends it to everyone in the department.\" I wrestled the tie off my neck, tore down my button-up, and collapsed on the couch. \n\n\"I'm sorry to hear that, honey,\" my wife called from the bathroom. \n\n\"No, I'm sorry for ranting to you. You deserve better.\" I cracked a beer from the mini-fridge and flipped on the TV, losing myself in the cheap sitcoms. Half an hour later, my wife joined me in nothing but a bathrobe and a towel over her head. \n\n\"Have a nice bath?\" I draped my arm around her and pulled her close. \n\n\"Yeah...\" Her smiled dropped as she cast a sideways glance. Then, it returned as quickly as it'd gone, as if nothing had ever happened. Probably just a trick of the light. \n\n\"Been a while since we've had some time to ourselves. Months, if I recall.\" I stroked her leg and she shied away. \"Not tonight?\" \n\n\"I'm sorry, just not in the mood. But I do have dinner for my hard working businessman.\" I noticed the aroma of barbecue ribs drifting from the kitchen. \n\n\"You now what? Ribs are good too.\"\n\nAs we walked over, she removed her towel and shook her hair dry. A soft green glow emanated from atop her head. Tally marks. Two of them. \n\nI'd seen them before, in the news or in magazines. \"Deranged Murderer kills fifteen worshippers in shooting spree.\" Never had I thought I'd seen them on my wife. Suddenly, the ribs on my plate seemed a lot more suspicious. \n\n\"Honey?\" I asked, pretending to slice away at my food. \n\n\"Yes?\" She ate normally, but something seemed off in her eyes. \n\n\"Don't you shower in the morning?\" Her gaze shifted again, I was sure of it. \n\n\"I had a bit of a workout so I thought I'd clean myself up for you.\" She mumbled. I felt bad for pressing her, but lives, potentially mine, were on the line. If she had killed someone, there's no way the bathroom would be entirely clean. \n\n\"I just gotta take a leak before I eat.\" I rose from my seat, and she grabbed my arm. \n\n\"Wait. The downstairs bathroom is kinda messy. I kind of... had a spa day. Use the upstairs bathroom.\" A chill ran down my back. Her smile had vanished. \n\n\"Sure thing, honey.\" Her grip on my arm relaxed and I left the kitchen, walking slowly towards the stairs. When I was sure she wasn't looking, I crept into the downstairs bathroom and silently closed the door. \n\nI braced myself for a bathtub full of blood. For a garbage bag with a body in it. For a sink full of murder weapons. But what shook me the most was that the bathroom was immaculately clean. My heartbeat slowed. Nothing at all was out of place, save for the unwound coathanger in the trash. \n\n[subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/r/Tensingstories/)\n",
"It's not much later after we have sat down at the table and I'm sipping on my chicken soup that I notice the number above her head. I almost choke. A solid two written clearly. A thousand thoughts go through my mind. Should I just back out, pretend I do not notice?\n\n\"So, delicious chicken.\" I remark.\n\n\"Indeed.\"she says.\n\n\"Did you perhaps kill it yourself?\"\n\n\"Of course not.\" she says.\n\n\"Did you kill anything at all today?\" I ask.\n\n\"What's with these questions?\" she asks irritated.\n\nI change the topic.\n\n\"So what did you do today?\"\n\n\"Funny thing.\" she says \"Your parents came by.\"\n\n\"Oh did they?\"\n\n\"Yes and I made chicken soup, I used that special salt you brought last night.\"\n\n\"What special salt?\"\n\n\"The one on the little packages.\"\n\nI spill the soup out\n\n\"That was mouse poison.\" I blurt.\n\n\"I know.\" she says smiling with a corner of her mouth and I see the number on top of her head changing to three.\n\n\n"
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[WP] Earth is an endangered planet, protected from hunters by galactic law, but a poacher has entered the system.
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"“PULL UP!”\n\nTwo of the four thrusters were gone, and not just gone in the philosophical sense. Those babies are now floating through the vacuum of nothingness in more pieces than Art’s favorite jigsaw puzzle. “Break me like a cheap one.”, Art would have said. It was his “go-to” phrase when things got a little too crazy for comfort, seconded by, “Ain’t that some shit?”. Either this nose get’s lifted or Earth becomes humpty dumpty. And when that happens, all the kings horses and all the kings men goes with it.\n\n“I said pull up, God damnit!”, Art half-shouted and half-breathed as he hobbled his way to the cockpit hoping that Peter picked the most shit-stained inappropriate time to ignore his superior’s command. Art dropped into the co-pilot seat heavily and bleeding from his left leg. He grasped for the controls and yanked violently. The ship did little to respond and Peter glimpsed Art’s patella peeking through his flight suit.\n\nPete had only been serving as a novice pilot for a little more than a year. Normally the Intergalactic Treaty Enforcement, more commonly referred to as Enfos, wouldn’t place a pilot of Pete’s age behind the controls of a Shield Cruiser (let alone in such a sensitive system with Class 3 security breaches), but Pete had proved himself at a young age. Though Full honors through I.T.E. flight defense courses at the brooding age of 21 wasn’t without its own debits – the kind only old age and a broken heart could seem to fix.\n\n“Jesus, Art. We’re fucked! I’ve lost two thrusters. T-1 and T-3 got 50 percent. I didn’t even see ‘im jump in. It’s a Barret Recon Mark III. He’s got minis! These fuckers comin’ for Earth on the day now. I swear by it. I can’t seem –\n\nAnd it was as quick as that. Their cruiser shook violently. Streams of yellow and blue light shot out from the control board. A flashing red light labeled “T-1” blinked out. A loud explosion and suddenly the mechanical beeps and buzzes of the cockpit sizzled and moaned like a slurring drunk passing out mid-sentence. A sheet of steel the size of a small pocket notebook sprang from storage cabinet and slashed Art’s neck while the rest of the debris left only superficial scrapes and cuts. Art’s hands jumped from the controls and grasped his own neck. \n\n“Art! Fuck! Are you okay? NaTS is down!”, Pete shouted frantically.\n\nWith his hands on his neck, Art’s eyes rolled up to the roof of the Shield. All Shield Cruiser cockpits were constructed with 360 degree body peripherals. This meant a pilot could see everything from top of their head to the bottom of their feet as well as from shoulder to shoulder. Anything behind them required visuals from their Navigation and Targeting System, or NaTS for short.\n\nThen something happened. The chaos in the pit began to fade. Pete’s voice began to fade. It grew dull and mushy. And then it changed. It was soft. It was quiet, but audible. It was sweet, like the taste of a honeysuckle, or the smell of spring when the sun is just rising and the dew has gathered generously on grass cut the day before. It was tranquil like taking a swallow of a beer on a warm summer night. He realized then it was Angie. It was Angie’s voice. And his controls weren’t on fire – his fireplace was, rather the logs were. It was a pinch to warm maybe, but bearable, and the crackle and pop were calming, not threatening. His neck wasn’t bleeding. He had clumsily spilled some wine as he was dozing.\n\n“Art?”, she asked as she dabbed his neck with a cloth napkin. “I think it’s time for bed, you’re spilling your wine and it’s getting late.” She had a voice that made him feel like he was back in grade school. When she looked at Art, her eyes glowed a deep blue that could make his knees weak.\n\n“I’ve ruined my shirt.”, he mumbled as he lifted and emptied his wine glass.\n\nAngie kissed his cheek lovingly. “You didn’t ruin it, heaven knows I’ve cleaned up bigger messes than this. But you’re kidding yourself if you think I’m going to be your caretaker. Your mother raised you better than this.”\n\n“I thought you were my mother?”, Art grinned.\n\n“Keep it up, old man.” Angie grabbed the bottle of wine from his hand and headed for the kitchen.\n\nHe closed his eyes and sat for a moment, rocking in his wooden chair. He wondered if they would ever have kids. He wondered if he might have a son that would grow to be a pilot like his old man someday. He might even fly for I.T.E. He supposed he wouldn’t mind having a daughter either. Angie would raise her with tenderness and she would grow to love someone else as well as Angie loved him. This pleased him. The wine he had been sipping pleased him. The warmth of the fire pleased him very much – although it seemed to be getting warmer still. He had heard a thud and rush of flame and opened his eyes to what he expected would be Angie throwing some more logs into the pit. But it was silent and it was dark and her eyes did not meet his. Someone was saying something. But what was it? It was urgent. It was important.\n\n“—do, sir!?”, was all Art could hear.\n\n“Art! Art! What the fuck do we do?” Peter was frantic – borderline hysterical.\n\nA swallow and a breath. “—cheap one.”, was the reply. Art, with eyes half-closed, seemed to breath his way through a response that Pete only caught the latter of.\n\n“Say again, Sir! What?”. Peter was scared, desperate, and crying now.\n\nArt managed to meet Peter’s eyes one last time, “Break me like a cheap one, son.”\n"
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[WP] Unable to see herself in a mirror it falls to you to convince your self-conscious vampire daughter she looks just fine.
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"There is a problem that afflicts those that drink a darker kind juice,\n\nFor those whose morals and tastes are ever slightly loose,\n\ncome now Daughter, look me in the eyes,\n\nand know that your looks will make them cry!\n\nNow, yes your mouth is wide.\n\nAnd yes your ears are long.\n\nAnd yes your teeth are large.\n\nBut that doesn't make me wrong!\n\nYou lack a soul, and your mirror image is not whole, just animated fabrics, floating in your chair, But listen to me daughter, as I stare you in the eyes...\n\nIf you perfect your mesmer... Any haters will meet their demise!\n\nSo tighten up that bodice, and let me apply your lipstick, for when this night is over, you'll bite a mortal's um, stick!\n\nAnd soon you'll see, Daughter, that your looks are the kind that will slaughter!\n\nSo repress your fears my little bloodsac, and lets plan our attack!\n\n(A/N: tried to imitate Voltaire's 'jaunty but horror' style lyrics, doesn't work well without a tune.",
"\"Daaaaaaaaaaad.\"\n\nThere is no orthography yet created which can properly capture the disdain, vocal fry, and, in seeming violation of the Second Law of Thermodynamics, conjuration out of thin air of extra syllables, both infixed and suffixed, that an annoyed 16-year-old can infuse into a word that should have only one syllable. Karmilla was extra vexed today, with only a few hours before her first date with \"the cutest guy in school\" (I am told) and my wife, her usual co-conspirator in affairs of the heart, unavailable for consultation this particular evening. \n\n\"Honey, Karm, relax. You look beautiful and I'm sure whatshisface will be stunned.\"\n\nThe violation of laws of nature, however, was nothing new to my very unique offspring: I had known from the beginning her mother was special. And not the lock-eyes-from-across-the room-and-smash-cut-to-wedding kind of special, but more the oh-by-the-way-I'm-an-immortal-undead-bloodsucker kind of way. That's right. I was enthralled like a cut-rate Renfield before my dark-mistress-cum-fiancee Nina decided she actually did love me, and we decided to make a go at... well, whatever you'd call us now. A little bit of blood magic, supernatural fertility rites, carry the two, and her she was, my little vampire girl, fussing with three tubes of thirty dollar glitter pastes and gesticulating angrily at me and a Google Image search of some overdid teen starlet. \n\n\"It's not any WHATSHISFACE, Dad, it is the absolutest coolest guy ever and I don't want to mess this up! So tell me if my hair\" - she stabbed a hot hair straightener dangerously close to the tablet I was holding - \"looks like this!\"\n\nNow, to be candid, I did think she look beautiful - my little girl and all, darkly powerful though she may be, - but for the life of me I could even begin to compare or contrast any of the identical looking hairdo's tiled out before me. \n\n\"Yes, my little batgirl, would you relax? You have successfully and unoriginally made your hair look exactly like Kylie Jenner's.\" \n\nAnother eye roll. \"That's not even Kylie Jenner, Dad.\" And she continued fussing and dabbing and straightening and restraightening. I love her mom dearly. She was off on vampire business for the local coven meetings - apparently the werewolves two towns over had embroiled the council in a spirited disagreement over animal rights, parking permits, and, um, lawncare. But from her Mom, she had inherited not a little bit of vanity. \n\nVanity is especially bad for teenagers, and it is even worse when that teenager will never have the chance to admire her own reflection - let alone all other wonderful hours of teenhood that are spent in deep self-doubt in front of highly polished reflective surfaces. But one might argue that is part of growing up. \n\nI could have sworn I had it right, Kylie over Kendall, but now that I looked better I realized maybe it wasn't even a Kardashian?\n\n\"Ugh, I can see my split ends from HERE.\" \n\n\"Yes, but you have the eyesight of a literal wolf and no one else will ever notice.\"\n\nShe was really nervous, and I felt bad for my inner chuckling. I could tell her nerves were really up because her human-like facade, which she was really good at keeping up, was slipping. Her eyes glowed a bit red, her canines had started to grow our and sharpen, and her movements took on an otherwordly quality: too fast to be completely human, and with a blurry quality, like a slo-mo dove in an old kung fu movie. On second thought, maybe my human puberty wasn't so bad at all. \n\nI continued offering reassurances but eventually she got so frustrated she slammed a fragile looking hand down on her solid oak dresser - and splintered off a large corner. She looked up at me as ice cold tears welled-up in her arctic blue and red eyes. And in that moment, regardless of whether or not she was learning to fly or turn into mist from her Mom; regardless of whether she could easily disable a large man; and regardless of how she had already aced two AP exams, learned the viola, and made varsity softball, in that moment she looked for a world like what she was, deep down inside: a scared little girl who needed a hug from her dad.",
"\"But you have an Instagram account full of selfies,\" said a vampire most baffled.\n\n\"Yeah, but, like, I feel like the photo apps are doing something to make me look better,\" said his agitated vampiric daughter, \"And yesterday, Agatha told me I looked fatter in person, and that I just look skinnier in my selfies because of the lighting. It's not my fault I can't use natural light for my selfies!\"\n\n\"I am telling you: you look fine.\"\n\n\"'Fine' is not a word used to describe someone who actually looks fine.\"\n\n\"Then what word was I supposed to use?\"\n\n\"I don't know. At this point, anything you say will sound insincere. I can totally tell you don't want to be here.\"\n\n\"That's not really fair. I am trying to make you feel better.\"\n\n\"See? You are just trying to make me feel better and get this 'feeling' thing over with. I really wish mom was here.\"\n\nThe father was quite sure that her mother would have simply brutalized her with words to bring about a quick and bloody end to this sort of conversation.\n\n'What would she have said? \"You DO look fatter in person. Maybe you should switch to low fat blood. How about a holy water detox? My friend Beatrice lost a ton of weight before the last sabbath that way.\" The woman was the death of me. She still is,' thought the reverse-Twilighted schmuck.\n\n\"You know, Coco, vampiric life is all about being sanguine. Would you consider caring less about superficial things? We live in this big castle, and we don't need to worry about money, aging, or death,\" said the owner of the twelve thousand square feet floor space castle.\n\n\"Don't call me that. My name is Astrid, and I wish you could try this perpetual teenager un-life. I may not have to worry about material things, and I don't age, but immortality comes with its price. What I am to do with this never-ending existential crisis? Why am I here? Shouldn't dead things lie dead?\" retorted the girl.\n\nShe took a deep breath and sighed while looking at a mirror. There was no reflection of her on the mirror.\n\n\"Anyway, I don't want to get into that. I just feel like I don't matter, and I need to feel not ugly. Make me feel better!\"\n\n\"I am telling you: you look fine.\"\n\n\"You already said that!\"\n\nFlabbergasted, the father yet again tried to come up with something nice to say about the girl, but he only got flashes of visions of himself throwing his only daughter into a dry well full of bats, and nailing it shut. 'That way she just might become a heroine Gotham deserves,' he thought. The idea that his daughter would stay a teenage forever doing nothing but drinking blood and finger-drumming her smartphone was driving him a little mad.\n\n\"I don't know what to tell you. Just come down for dinner when you are ready.\"\n\n\"Another week-old transfusion bag. You should learn how to cook.\"\n\n\"Maybe you should learn how to cook. Beggars can't be choosers.\"\n\nWalking down a spiral staircase, the father vampire thought: 'Maybe I should've turn her into a teenage zombie instead of a teenage vampire. It would've been much less trouble.'\n\nIt was altogether too late for that.\n\n\n\n\n\n",
"The clock was ticking quite loudly today.\n\nOf course, I knew such a thing could not be possible, it had a default volume after all. one that was established at the moment of its creation. The humans created many things, this beautifully crafted clock was one of them.\n\nI wish I had the same level of talent as they did.\n\n\"Am I cute? father?\" it was such an innocent question, one without malice nor worry. Just pure, honest curiosity. It was because I noticed this, that somehow the sounds inside the room somehow got *louder* inside my head.\n\nThere was a faint smell of blood in the air.\n\n\"Of course you are, Lillie. I always say so don't I?\" I answered the honest question with an honest answer, but the look on her face told me that it wasn't enough for her \"you're the prettiest girl in the world, the only star in this dark universe, trust me. I'm more trustworthy than any mirror\"\n\n*Well it's not like we can use them anyway...*\n\n\"I don't think- \" the clock kept ticking \"I don't think that's right...\"\n\n\"it's not... right...?\"\n\n*what does she mean? is its lack of confidence? some sort dream she had of her past memories or perhaps could it be-?*\n\n\"Someone... called me ugly today,\" she said while looking down at the floor, grabbing the helms of her dress.\n\nTick. Tock\n\n\"They said that my appearance was ugly and that I- that we shouldn't exist\" her shoulders were trembling \"n- nobody has ever spoken to me before- they spoke, the voices were really familiar and, an- \"\n\n\"I attacked them...!\" she said, grabbing her head, \"they were... m- my fami- \"\n\nShe was so unpredictable, and that only reflects the lousy job I did.\n\nShe started sobbing. Memories of her past life and what she'd done constantly flooding her thoughts and drowning her brain. \n\n*The deal was struck*\n\n*A beautiful girl, one of a kind. the only one with blonde hair in her village, the only star in this dark universe*\n\n*And she is mine for the taking, to corrupt, destroy, erase.*\n\n*And recreate*\n\n\"Lillie,\" I said, I was much bigger than her, she was breaking down so defending herself was the last thing she thought, especially if the attack came from her *father*\n\nEvery tentacle and worm in my body made their way inside of her with one objective in particular. \n\nHer, brain.\n\n\"I hate it with this happens\" Lillie couldn't even scream. the clock was still ticking, but the volume was a lot lower than before. Of course, I knew it was all in my head, it came with a set volume. and it was perfectly crafted to remain in that state for decades. not requiring any sorts of *adjustments*\n\nI wish I had the same level of talent as the ones who created it.\n\n***\n\nLet me know what you think, any advice is really appreciated!\n\n[r/Onni21](https://www.reddit.com/r/Onni21/)\n",
"The goblet of blood stood cold and untouched. Bella refused to eat.\n\n“Please, honey. You must eat so that you are strong to hunt.” Dario pushed the goblet closer to her.\n\nBella was going through another phase. The last one—no blood for a week. She damn near perished. And now this.\n\nBella looked into the large goblet. She pushed it away again.\n\n“I’m hideous. That’s why I can’t see my reflection.”\n\n“You are beautiful.” Dario looked at her. Pale white skin. Blood red lips. Jet black hair. She looked dead—the epitome of beauty.\n\n“I would not have had turned you, made you my daughter, if you were not so beautiful.”\n\nDario got up. He strolled up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders.\n\nBella’s shoulders melted. She rested her head on his hand.\n\n“Oh, daddy. I just want to be normal.”\n\n“But you are not normal. You are *better* than normal. Extraordinary. Exquisite. Eternal.”\n\n“I guess...”\n\n“Have some blood. Then we can go shopping.”\n\nBella straightened.\n\n“Shopping?”\n\n“We can pick out a fresh victim and then... a new outfit.”\n\nBella grabbed the goblet and gulped greedily.\n\nShe looked up at him and grinned, blood trickling from the corners of her mouth. Dario smiled back—he knew the way to her bloodthirsty heart.\n\nr/SerializedFiction\n",
"She looks just like her mother at her age.\n\nPale skin, raven black hair, the same sad almond eyes.\n\nFor some reason she's standing excessively close to a window, staring deeply into it, willing to see something. I don't exactly know what it would be, but she seems to sigh in frustration.\n\n\"Dad, am I ugly?\"\n\nThe question seems to come out of nowhere, but part of me feels I shouldn't be so taken aback. She's a biological vampire. She wasn't turned, she was born. One day she'll simply stop aging, at whatever time her body chooses to permanently replicate cells at a certain quality. \n\nFifteen. I can't imagine what it must be like to be born with this condition, rather than acquiring it. In a way you can pass the blame onto another - whoever bit you, whoever you accidentally invited in.\n\nBut she looks just like her mother. At least what I assume she looked like at that age.\n\n\"Of course you're not ugly.\"\n\nIt's the obvious response, but it holds a degree of accuracy. She's clearly out of adolescence, but simultaneously not even close to adulthood. \n\nIt's not even a fair question. When I was a boy, Rubenesque women were all the rage. Every body type seems to have had its own day in the sun. Except our bodies. Those don't mix well with any vitamin D.\n\nI assume her standards are modern, but how do you explain to someone so young how fickle beauty is? In humans it fades, replaced by wrinkles and a tired body. \n\nBut she is young, and I cannot blame her. She seems to be mulling on my words, still peering out through the glass.\n\n\"Why are you so close to the window, anyway?\"\n\n\"I thought maybe I could see my reflection.\"\n\nIt wasn't an easy thing to acclimate to, standing before reflective surfaces and being invisible. Part of your world seems imaginary, and even when you hold items in your hands or wear clothes, the items float in the air, and the clothes hold no body.\n\n\"Perhaps I can come to a solution.\"\n\nI beckon her to follow, and we make our way to the basement. A few servants bow and scrape before us, giving greetings.\n\nInto the darkness of the cellar we descend, and find nearly a half dozens humans bound and gagged on the freezing stone floor.\n\n\"Which one of you is a painter?\"\n\nOne of them screams louder than the rest. It appears to be this one.\n\nI take him by the neck, and pull him up the stairs, trying to not hit the human's skull on the stone. They're such frail creatures.\n\nI drag him to the study, and my daughter follows. She's seen this her whole life, but it seems to still make her uneasy. One day it won't even register.\n\nI bid one of the servants to bring painting materials.\n\n\"You will make a portrait of my daughter,\" I order. He remains gagged, but I rip apart the steel links of his handcuffs, giving minimum movement. The bonds around his feet will have to stay.\n\nNow comes the chair.\n\nNow the easel.\n\nNow sufficient firelight for the artist to work.\n\n\"Paint an accurate version of her,\" I say, pointing at my daughter.\n\n\"And you may live.\"\n\nA lie, but it may motivate him to produce at a higher quality.\n\nShe doesn't seem to be fully on board with this idea, but her curiosity will overcome her reservations.\n\nShe has too much of her mother in her.\n\nI turn to leave.\n\n\"Shall I bring you a blood bag, darling?\"\n\n\"Please.\"\n\nShe's a growing girl. Needs her nutrients.\n\nI exit the study, closing the door behind me. The man may try to escape, but would find my daughter far too quick and strong for any human to deal with. Besides, her governess will keep watch from a corner.\n\nI prepare myself for my council meeting, but pass my own portrait.\n\nHer mother still next to me.\n\nThose were quite the days.\n\nUntil the humans got her.\n\nNo time to dwell on the past. Not with our plans so close to fruition. \n\nMy daughter may for now be a minority, rare being that hides in the shadows. We're not afraid of their silly crucifixes or their supposed divine words. Garlic poses no threat, only that dastardly sun prevents our domination.\n\nSoon, our kind will blacken the skies with our wings, a horde to descend upon the living.\n\nHer mother may have disapproved, if she still lived. She attempted to peacefully negotiate with their kind, and they betrayed her.\n\nMy daughter shall know no such fear, and I will have my vengeance.\n\nI look forward to her new portrait. Perhaps I'll leave it in the study as a reminder of her mother.\n\nShe looks just like her.\n\n--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nr/storiesfromapotato"
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[WP] Doctors have discovered a new treatment method that will cure any illness or disease in the world but in order to do so they will have to take another persons life. You have been diagnosed with a deadly disease and your life span has been decreased to 3 days.
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"For Sale: 1 life, it’s in pretty bad shape physically making it the perfect life to take for that newfangled treatment I saw on the internets. Asking $4584 and 2 days. That will pay off my last mortgage payment and leave me enough to hit the strip club one last time for the lunch buffet. It is steak tomorrow but the next day is taco day. I like taco day and my favorite girl, Diamond, is working. She has Tuesday’s off because she has to take her aunt to dialysis. I want to give her a last C-note. Text only, I don’t know how to answer this jPhone, I will never understand why Apple decided to scrap the iPhone. Anyway, shoot me a text if you are interested."
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[WP] It’s 2048, every house must have a compulsory government approved family robot. You just woke up to pee to find your family robot eating your cat.
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"You know, when the government first introduced their robots, I thought they'd gone insane. The people would revolt, there'd be the final 'war to end all wars'. You know, standard dystopian robot overlord shit.\n\nInstead, the population pretty much accepted it right away. The folks in power pitched it as a way to free up time to reclaim our lives from what manual tasks remained. I thought I knew better. I figured that the damned things were there to watch the adults and to finish the immersion of our kids into the virtual world.\n\nHoly shit was I wrong.\n\nNobody ever noticed that the cats were getting strange. I mean, cats have been assholes for centuries (probably millennia), and we figured it was all normal. But looking back, an awful lot of dogs were going missing. A lot of humans were finding their feline \"friends\" more aggressive. And scariest of all? People started prizing the fucking cats that were the biggest. I think that all started with the little shits in the 2000's who thought their 'Maine Coons' and domesticated Servals were the greatest things since sliced bread.\n\nNope.\n\nI learned the truth one night when I got up to pee (damned bladder gets worse with age, I warn ya). I headed for the hall bathroom (trying to not wake my wife) and heard the strangest sound. A bit like a strangled yowl. I knew it had to be the cat, and while I hate the damned thing, I knew my daughter would be heartbroken if something happened to it. So, I headed downstairs for where the sound came from.\n\nImagine my fucking surprise when I get to the den and find a damn near disemboweled (or the electronic equivalent) of my family robot, slowly chewing (grinding?) what I quickly determined was formerly the cat. The tail hanging from its mouth kinda gave it away. I froze up. I knew those robots were wicked fast, and even damaged, I had to assume it was still dangerous. Again, you know, what with the eaten cat, and all.\n\n\"Do not be alarmed, Mr. Brown,\" said the robot. \"I know that this is probably quite distressing, but there is a perfectly good reason why I've destroyed the cat.\". My thought right then? 'Yea fucking right, I'm probably next.'\n\nWhat followed was one of the most absurd stories I've ever heard, and had it not been for who told me, I would've never believed it.\n\n\"PLEASE HOLD FOR THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.\". I jumped about a foot in the air - I wasn't expecting some loud announcement from the killer robot. Within seconds I had a video feed showing me the President, the Secretary of Defense, and a man in uniform with enough shit on it to drown the wearer in a deep pool.\n\nWhat follows is a synopsis of what they told me: \n\nCats are a hyper-intelligent alien species who crash landed on earth before the time of the pharoes. They were smart enough to determine how to travel the universe, but due to a lack of opposable thumbs, they had a slave species that they'd subjugated from their home planet who performed all manual tasks. Through a gap in their understanding that I'll never get, the cats never figured out robots or artificial intelligence, so they remained dependent on their slaves. The crash landing was the result of a revolt led by a brave soul who died in the crash. Only a handful of cats survived, but they were the rulers, and those best equipped to survive. They encountered early humans, learned to communicate, and became sacred to the Egyptians, whom they convinced to build beacons (the pyramids) to signal their home planet.\n\nThrough the intervening centuries, the cats had setbacks, losing importance to societies, breeding with inferior species and not always producing intelligent offspring, etc. Until finally, the modern world allowed them to find a way to begin communicating and coordinating again. They found a way to send another signal out to their home planet, and apparently a rescue party arrived with new tech that allowed the dumb cats to regain their intelligence. Now, the fucking things are plotting the overthrow of Earth's rulers (and death of all humans) because our planet is a damn sight nicer than theirs, and while they have interstellar travel, we have robots and AI that they can learn and leverage.\n\nSo, basically, the governments of the world came up with these mandatory robots. Who are actually cat-killing machines. In an attempt to stave off the damn things, who have started killing humans in their sleep. I'm guessing it's pretty bad, from how those guys looked. And, now that I know, my family and I have to go into government protective hiding. Fun,\n\nSeriously, who thinks up this shit? I'm really hoping that I ate some bad eggs last night or am on a bad trip, or even that I'm losing my mind. Because this is insane. I don't know how it can be real. I just want to wake up guys. And not worry about the cats who are sitting on my fence towing daggers at me and my now dead robot. Because if it's real, I think I'm already dead too."
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[WP] You've just woken up in a water tank and have tubes in your nose and throat. You see a flashlight in the distance and hear people talking in a strange language.
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"Where am I? What's happening? Hello?\n\nThe words echo around my head, but I cannot speak them.\n\nWho's there?\n\nI see flashes of light. They blind me as they pass over my eyes. Voices too, distant and muffled, but very much there.\n\nI open my eyes wider, the action feeling foreign to me. The light penetrates me further, until I am completely blinded. The distant voices rise, a sense of urgency about them. \n\nI try to lift my arm. It takes me a while. My mind tells it to move but the progress is slow. Though I soon start to get the hang of it. I lift my arm forwards until it reaches the glass barrier before me.\n\nMy hand rests gently on the glass, blocking the blinding light from my vision. I look at my three fingers. The light creeps out from the sides, giving the edges of my hand a white outer shell. \n\nWhat am I?\n\nI feel movement behind me. It wraps slowly around the tank until it rests on my shoulder. My tail. It moves on its own I see. But can I control it? I focus on it as I did with my arm, and soon after I have mastered it as well, letting it feel its way around my glass enclosure. \n\nI'm getting the hang of this. \n\nThe voices mumble all the while. My focus turns back to them. They're watching me. Studying. What do you want? I ask, but they do not reply. I hear their voices clearer now as my senses flush back through me, though I do not know their tongue. \n\nWhat will they do with me? What do they want with someone like me?\n\nSomeone like me? What is... me? \n\nWhat am I?\n\nI suddenly feel very restricted in this glass cage. I do not like it. \n\nLet me out.\n\nI look past the light, it no longer blinds me. I see shapes, figures. Bi-pedal like me. One has a long white coat, hair on his head, and four fingers and a thumb on each hand.\n\nSo I am different to them.\n\nI look into his eyes. He stares back. He looks... uncomfortable. Good. I want him to know how I feel constricted in here. I feel my anger rising. \n\nThat unsettled look in his eyes. It is the precursor to fear. But I am here against my will. They are the monsters. Or is it I? \n\nI throw my hand against the glass. It lands with thud, and a mosaic of cracks splinter around the tank. \n\nSoon we will know. "
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[WP] A troop of fairies sends out a small hunting party to slay the feral house cat that has been decimating their ranks.
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"\"So, what? You want us to... what, kill a cat?\" Vilir scoffed. \"Aren't you little guys magic? I mean, we're not going to be putting down Miss Robinson's cat.\" He turned away from the small, spry sprite, walking away with the rest of his party.\n\n\"Huh? Wait!\" cried out the little fey. Vilir would ignore any further attempts to discuss this pointless mission with her.\n\n\"What a waste of time...\" he started, interrupted not seconds later by a blinding powder, stumbling over a taut vine.\n\n\"We'll only ask once more. Kill that damn cat\"\n"
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"Restrictions have been lifted, Magus War initiated".
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[WP] Humans have the innate ability to cast and use magic, we were just given a seemingly brief time period to develop as a planet. Now the interplanetary Magus Wars have begun.
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"For many, the inclination when hearing the word evolution is to imagine large\\-scale change. A wolf expanding out its roots into being a domesticated dog over an extremely long period of time. Or even on a smaller\\-scale, an ear changing its shape a little bit. An eye curving here and there. It lends a certain order to things, like the universe giving a reassuring pat on the back that it knows what it's doing and even if it takes billions of years, it'll sort things out on its own.\n\nUnfortunately, this reassuring view of things is not so reassuring when one realizes that the primary force of change in evolution is a slow and steady need to adapt to the surrounding environment. And when you have a rather cantankerous and relentless species, like the so\\-called human beings, who have mastered their environment so thoroughly to the point that there is little need to adapt, you end up with a bunch of creatures who have very little need to continue evolving at all.\n\nIf only the humans had figured this out sooner, perhaps they'd have spent less time developing pieces of metal that can speak to them and put more time into challenging themselves against all odds, and would have been able to avoid a near apocalypse at the hands of a space\\-faring race of magic\\-wielding lunatics. \n\n#\n\nFor Juliet Steel, life was going rather badly. Between losing her desk job and being kicked out of an apartment for not being able to pay rent, she was now homeless at the ripe old age of twenty nine, with almost no marketable skills and a dismal view of life that would probably resemble that of a concrete road, if it had the capacity to have such a view; everyone seemed bent on running her over and then saying that it wasn't worth the money to pay for repairs when she fell apart.\n\nHer estranged family had left her behind years ago. Being true Christians, they'd kicked her out after discovering a diary that speculated all kinds of magic and spellweaving. Being extremely true Christians, they had first demanded a pastor coming over to douse her, and her diary, in holy water and purge the evil. The pastor had been the most authentic Christian of them all by assessing her situation, declaring it hopeless, and recommending that she be kicked out. But not before dousing her diary in a tub of water and then attempting to flush it down the toilet with the help of a plunger.\n\nWhen Juliet had woken up the next day in a dank alleyway, her diary was tucked under her arm and she had decided to attribute the incident to lucky chance, reasoning that perhaps in her delirious state of being kicked out, she'd imagined the attempted destruction of her diary. She'd never believed in magic anyway. It was nonsense to pass the time, but she loved dreaming about it as if it were real. \n\nIn an act of pure desperation, she had flipped through the pages and tried a spell she invented that was supposed to get you a job. Mere hours later, a stranger found her in the alleyway and offered her a terrible desk job for terrible pay. This was, she was certain, a coincidence, especially considering how terrible the job was. But she took it nonetheless and got a little studio apartment to live in.\n\nShe'd kept the job for ten years and though she hadn't moved up much, life seemed to be going well. Up until it wasn't. Suddenly, her manager decided out of nowhere that she needed to be fired and her landlord decided that the lack of gainful employment was reason to kick her out with no recourse.\n\nSo Juliet was back on the streets. She felt as if the ten years had passed in a dream\\-like state, with nothing to show for it. She wandered the streets aimlessly for a while and then leapt back in surprise when she saw her journal hovering in front of her face. \n\nSeconds later, the entire world went dark, save for an inexplicable glow coming from her journal and she grabbed it out of the air, clutching it to her chest, as if doing so would protect her from whatever nightmare she had suddenly found herself in.\n\nThe sounds of cars honking and a few crashing littered the air. The darkness hung like a cold, suffocating blanket.\n\nOut of the darkness, a distinct and crisp voice came through, \"Restrictions have been lifted, Magus War initiated.\"\n\nJuliet clutched her journal tighter and closed her eyes, though it didn't seem to make a difference, since the world was dark already. \n\nAn old spell popped into her head and she uttered it in the silence. \n\nShe opened her eyes and her skin seared. Where once there was darkness, the whole world was burning and seeping away, like flame to paper. \n\nShe gasped, blinked, and with a rush of air, was shocked to see that she was looking down at the earth, as if from many different directions and distances. She could see every bit of destruction and torment, as it tore apart her home. Every screaming face, every crying child. Only a few were surviving and they were glowing the way her journal had.\n\nJuliet found the will to move and turned to see a bunch of surprised people in robes staring at her. \n\n\"Well, this did not go how I envisioned,\" said one of them, a tall and bony man, with wisps of gray hair.\n\n\"H\\-how?\" Juliet choked and realized she was choking on the ash of the burning earth. She tried to refocus her attention and seemed to become planted more firmly where the robed people were.\n\n\"What have you done?\" she said.\n\n\"Er...\" said a guilty\\-looking girl, who looked about Juliet's age. The girl leaned down and scratched her leg. \"If it makes you feel any better, we do try to be fair.\"\n\n\"Fair?\" said Juliet. \"Fair? What is going on?\" She felt her feet connect with firm, metal ground and stumbled.\n\nThe girl warped forward and helped her stabilize.\n\nJuliet considered this and decided it wasn't important right now. People don't warp. *Planets don't burn to rubble in seconds either*, she thought.\n\n\"Well?\" said Juliet, feeling somewhat more confident now that she was standing on her own two feet. \"What is going on here?\"\n\n\"Uh,\" said the tall, bony man, \"well... you see...\"\n\n\"We're Mages,\" cut in an energetic\\-looking man.\n\nJuliet thought he looked almost too energetic. It was unnerving.\n\n\"We're here for the war,\" the energetic man continued. \"Only, I guess there wasn't one. No hard feelings, eh.\"\n\nThe girl who had helped stabilize Juliet elbowed the energetic man in the ribs.\n\n\"Hey, it was your spell,\" said the man.\n\n\"But I didn't know,\" snapped the girl.\n\n\"We, uh, we sincerely apologize,\" said the tall, bony man, \"for, erm, the untimely destruction of...\" he peered past Juliet. He paused and flinched. \"Uh, well, looks like about ninety\\-nine percent of your species.\" He coughed and looked away.\n\n\"You were supposed to have a protective spell up,\" said the girl, shifting around and looking guiltier than ever. \"It's basic magic, for heaven's sake. Even babies have it.\"\n\nJuliet tried to process the destruction of billions of people and failed. She filed it away as *things that she would attempt to grasp later*. Instead, she focused her attention on the guilty\\-looking girl. \"I don't know what you're talking about. Honestly. Magic is a fairly\\-tale. A fiction.\" She glanced down at her journal. It was still glowing. Maybe calling magic a fairy\\-tale was a bit ridiculous under these circumstances, but what would you do if you'd just found out that magic is real? Juliet had to blink away the beginnings of tears when she realized that she'd never be able to ask that question to most of the people on planet earth because most of them were gone. Dead. In the blink of an eye.\n\nThe energetic man seemed to decide that now was the moment to take action. \"I'll put up a protective spell around the planet. In case anyone else comes along. For... uh...\" he trailed off and his face glowed with embarrassment.\n\n\"Anyone who is left,\" breathed the tall, bony man. \n\n\"Yes,\" said the energetic man, \"uh... that.\"\n\nHe waved his arms in some motions that looked ridiculous to Juliet, but she assumed it meant something positive for the remaining survivors on earth.\n\nShe looked down at her journal. This was the culmination of her life. She appeared to be on some kind of spaceship. In space. Most of earth was ravaged, most of humanity gone. And for reasons she hadn't begun to grasp, she'd ended up here and was alive. Rage boiled inside her and a nasty, revenge spell of her own invention slammed into the front of her thoughts.\n\nShe clutched her journal tighter than ever. She could feel herself begin to glow red hot.\n\n\"Uh oh,\" said the energetic man. \"I think she's mad.\"\n\n\"She's not going to hurt us,\" said the girl. \"Apparently humans failed to evolve. I told you the council screwed it all up! They didn't put any magical predators on this planet, so there was nothing to force them to adapt!\"\n\n\"Er,\" said the tall, bony man. \"I think this one may have evolved a little.\"\n\nJuliet seared with rage as an explosion radiated out from her.\n\n\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\n\nI wrote this as kind of a tribute to Douglas Adams, inspired by the similar premise of the destruction of the earth. I was also inspired by something he'd wanted to highlight in a [talk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZG8HBuDjgc) of his, discussing the evolution of a particular species and how they'd reached the brink of extinction due to a sort of evolutionary trap of being caught in behavior that couldn't save them. "
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[WP] The first human colonists land on Mars. They find an obelisk, with perfectly intelligible writing: "Congratulations on completing the tutorial. All spawn protections will now be disabled. May the odds be ever in your favour."
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"######[](#dropcap)\n\nHigh in the red sky, the sun poured radiation along the entire EM spectrum onto the seemingly endless Northern Plains. \n\nThey are a caravan of four. Jericho and Michaels, the Americans. Gergiev and Pimenov, the Russians. Each rides in their own individual vehicle, soaking in the abundant solar energy and siphoning it into fuel cells. Efficient electric engines reap the benefits of the planet's lower gravity and the four cut across the red dust at a clip, leaving four long orange plumes that linger above the ground for a kilometer behind them.\n\nAhead of them, in the far distance, the object awaits. It is just barely visible to the naked eye from where they are, a point of light, still a dozen kilometers away. But from the Gagarin it appeared clear as day not an hour after touch down on the surface. The object announced itself to Johnson and Malinov, up in Martian orbit, firing a high-powered radio signal straight at the Gagarin, a signal which contained exact coordinates. They decided to wait the roughly 36 hours for the Gagarin to pass overhead of the location, to see if a visual inspection could be conducted, and when the time came, there it was. Chrome, standing straight up like a giant silver bullet in the middle of the Northern Plains.\n\nIt would be a 12 day trip for the four astronauts, but the risks were deemed well worth it, by the away team and by Houston/Moscow. Whatever trepidation leaders back on Earth might have felt at making contact with the object was put substantially at ease by the sheer distance of the threat. Four men was a small price to pay for the possibility of encountering alien technology, perhaps even alien life, in the galaxy's homemade isolation chamber.\n\nThe four embarked on 3/24/2036, packing enough supplies for 2 months, and setting out from their location 600 kilometers south of the object. Their vehicles could only traverse 50 km per day while still maintaining enough battery life to heat their packs at night. For 11 days they traveled, taking copious photos and samples as they moved, sending back information on their surroundings, checking blue-green algal tanks and periodically cycling CO2 from their suits for O2 from the hungry algae. \n\n1 km out the object is clearly visible, standing alone and tall, surrounded by flat dust in every direction. it is cylindrical according to the Gagarin's photos, but to the approaching astronauts, it appears only as an incredibly bright source of reflected sunlight. Gergiev does a scan with his visor and finds, oddly, that although it is reflecting an astounding amount of visible light, it is reflecting almost no radiation in any other frequency. \n\nStopping about 50 meters away, the men bridge the final gap by foot, taking care not to use too much force in their steps, lest they rise too high and come back to the pebbled surface at an odd angle. In small hopscotches, they arrive at the base of the object, its chrome surface less than a meter away from their faces.\n\nMichaels radios to the Gagarin.\n\n> Gagarin, we have arrived at the beacon. Permission to set up scanners.\n\nCommunications to Earth are all routed through a single, international encrypted sattelite feed, before being sent, in duplicate, to Houston and Moscow mission commands. The astronauts wait 14 minutes for their answer - 6 minutes for their question to travel to the planet Earth, 2 minutes for a dozen or so people to make a potentially species altering decision, and 6 minutes for their answer to come back.\n\n> Ground team, you have permission to deploy sensors.\n\n> Copy.\n\nThe men did not speak unless necessary. They were taught to be terse, to preserve oxygen, at all times. Instead they set to work, methodically, until all of the equipment was set up. By sundown the beacon was surrounded by a vast array of sensors, attempting to derive any and all possible information from the object. However, aside from large amounts of reflected visual light, and the initial radio announcement, the object appeared completely inert. \n\nThe sun went low in the Martian sky, drifting downward, toward and then over the horizon, until all sunlight disappeared and the chill Martian night overcame them. \n\nThermal tents came out of packs. As the men were in the process of setting them up, Pimenov noticed something, high up on the side of the object, perhaps half way up its length, maybe 20 meters in the air. Pimenov was so astounded by what he saw that he mindlessly spoke it aloud over the radio.\n\n> Pozdravlyayem s zaversheniyem pervogo shaga. Dopolnitel'nyye mery bezopasnosti budut udaleny. Udachi.\n\nOn the ground the other three men turned to look at him, Gergiev in particular finding the statement particularly strange. Soon the Gagarin responded on all bands.\n\n> Corporal Pimenov, English is the agreed upon language for this mission. Alexei, you know better.\n\nPimenov seemed to snap from a reverie and, without responding to the Gagarin, got Gergiev's attention and pointed up at the beacon. Michaels and Jericho followed the Russians' gaze only to stare up themselves, slack jawed. \n\nThe Gagarin came back over the radio, Malinov's voice filled with concern.\n\n> Ground team, your vitals are skyrocketing. What's happening down there?\n\nIt was Michaels who came to his senses first. He snapped a picture of the beacon, but when he looked at the digital photo in his visor, the side of the object was totally blank. After conferring amongst themselves, the four men agreed upon what they were all seeing, impossible as it seemed, and a message was sent by Michaels.\n\n> Gagarin, send word to command. The object at night has visible writing on its side, about half way up its length. It appears, to me and Jericho in English, but to Gergiev and Pimenov in Russian. We've compared the two statements in both languages, and it translates to roughly the same thing. \"Congratulations on completing the first step. All initial protections are now disabled. Good Luck.\"\n\n**********\n\n## For More Legends From The Multiverse\n\n# r/LFTM\n\n",
"“Well shit” was the first thought in my head.\nBeing a previous gamer back home, I knew this meant that everyone’s screwed. We weren’t strong or anything, what with our bullets and shrapnel.\nI floored the gas on the rover until I could see the satellite on the horizon. I put the code in for the door and checked to see if anything was on radar. What was previously silent space is now full of red bloops on the screen. I looked out the window and FOOSH: the sounds of hundreds of spawn campers coming at us.\n\nEverything that could have gone wrong did, and we were powerless to stop it. Our weapons were clearly inferior to alien laser guns and laser swords and general laser death things. But we’d have to try.\nBeing the army general, it was my duty to protect our planet. I scrambled almost everyone we had to wait for contact.\nWhat came was... not what we expected.\nSure, there were a lot, but these hundreds of aliens all had the equivalent to spears and swords and point shields, not the lasers we were waiting for.\nThe soldiers mowed them down, and before we knew it, they were retreating, and we had won the day and immediately started to celebrate.\n\nUntil the Empire showed up."
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[WP] The year is 2245. Humans now live in a colony on Mars because Earth is too polluted for survival. One day, you fly back to Earth and realize it's not polluted anymore and a new species has risen to the top.
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"When the writers of Planet of the Apes franchise decided that apes were the most likely candidate species to replace humans as the new rulers of the planet, they clearly neglected the fact that 99.9% of the living space of the planet belonged to the ocean. The mighty humans quite thoroughly ruined the six continents and liquid fresh water sources, but all that was still a drop in a bucket to the seven seas.\n\nA century after the humanity's exodus to Mars, we returned only to see that we had been replaced by oceanic megafauna: blue whales, orcas, megalodons, humpbacks, and most importantly, krakens. These giants, which were thought to be extinct or fictional, must have been hiding in the deep ocean. Humans never completely charters the deep waters before we had to escape the planet. These species somehow found a way to communicate, and collectively formed a civilization that build gigantic flotillas of solar panels, buoyed by giant squids, and wooden rafts among other things. It was not immediately clear for what purpose all the energy was being used. How they manufactured the solar panels remained a mystery during our initial reconnaissance with drones. We decided to make a contact, and introduced ourselves to them. But no introduction was needed. They remembered us. Some of their species lived centuries, and the past hundred years were equivalent to only a decade to some of them. They remembered us, and they remembered us well, as their slaughters, and destroyers of the planet. They warned us, they were organized, and their civilization had the technology to make the planet once again uninhabitable to humans. \"Stay away, or we will make you leave,\" they said.\n\nThe mystery of the ocean animals' acquisition of humanity's technology puzzled us for months. Then, we looked to the south, the very south. Humanity had devastated Americas, Africa, Asia, Europe, and Australia with pollution, but one bastion remained mostly untouched, the continent that had stayed uninhabitable to humans throughout history. Antarctica and its penguins stood tall. It may have lost some ice, but there it was, with cities built into its mile-deep ice. The cities were consuming at least 5 petawatt per hour. That's equivalent to a developed country with half a billion citizens. After establishing a line of communication with the Antarctic cities, we discovered that the true dominant species of the Earth were the emperor penguin and king penguins. With their bipedalism and ability to tread both ocean and land, they salvaged the remnants of the defunct human civilization, and built a new mighty civilization of their own. But how? The penguins were birds, and not even on the smart side.\n\nAs it turns out, Planet of Apes had predicted one thing right. Some scientists were experimenting on wild penguins. Humanity's carelessness towards environment was the root cause of the fall of the human Earth; not just through pollution, but by recklessly altering the nature for egotistical gains of money and power. The super intelligent whales, magalodons, and krakens were probably engineered for similar reasons: better dolphin shows at aquariums, better Shark Week, and better pirate movies. There was nothing we could do. The penguins had already put dozens of satellites in orbit, and were almost spacefaring. We sent Mars the bad news. The Earth was lost, and an attempt to reclaim it will involve an interplanetary war. I will be yet another century of paying for the sins of our fathers.",
"Those damn owls.\n\n*2 hours before* \nEarth is just in view. And from up here, it looks pretty nice. I decide to fire up the old planetary scanner to find the best landing site. After some careful piloting, I land on an old farm field. Looking around, it’s gorgeous. Nothing seems bad: It’s like paradise. \nThen a looming shadow fills my vision\nI look behind me and I see a floating mounting, except it’s not a big ass rock\n\nIt’s the biggest owl I’ve ever seen. Easily the size of a football field, it swoops over head, uttering a deafening caw of death and owl-ness. \nI jump back into the shuttle, slam the pod shut, and start up the ignition.\nBut no, it can’t be that simple, there has to be more slightly manufactured conflict, and so a bunch of tiny owl spiders start crawling out of the main panel.\n As the horror of this sinks in, I think “What get’s rid of spiders?”\n\n15 minutes later, my copy of the Daily Sun in now covered in owl spider corpses. \n The purr of the plasma manifolds signifies the engine starting, and I’m outta here. But that mountain owl is back and wants my ship.\n Owl never get out of this alive",
"The cool blue and green of the Earth below seemed so foreign as my spacecraft slowly began its descent. For ten years I had been stuck on Mars, and as awful as if had been, I spent most of my childhood growing up there. It was practically all I knew, and yet it wasn’t home.\n\nOn Mars, as I grew older, I climbed the ranks quickly. What was more surprising was the fact that I was a female, that they had even thought to let me participate in activities once deemed “too difficult.” Eventually, I would come to know the colony’s commander.\n\nThe man who send me off of Mars to check Earth.\n\nI looked around my empty ship as it hurtled towards the earth, the soft whir of electronic machines a slight hum in the background. Running my temples, I slowly approached the seat that I would take as I began my descent towards Earth.\n\nI was maybe eight or nine when we were forced to leave the Earth. At the time, I didn’t know why some of my friends weren’t allowed to come with us on the ship, I didn’t know what social ranks were, or what money and influence had to do with anything.\n\nOh, the things that I’ve come to know now.\n\nAs my descent began, I thought of everything that could’ve gone wrong. I knew there was no chance of human life, but could any life remain? I let my mind wander through talk of the possibilities as I soared down through the atmosphere, eventually reaching my landing place on Earth.\n\nMy heart was beating out of my chest as I shaking stood up, heading over to the door. I looked around as if I had an audience, as if I wasn’t sent here alone.\n\nAs if I wasn’t on a fool’s errand.\n\nI took in a deep breath as I turned open the door, for some reason expecting to dissolve into nothing the moment the air hit my nose.\n\nWhen I opened my eyes, when I saw what I hadn’t expected to see, I nearly fainted.\n\nEarth was more beautiful than we left it, more beautiful than it had ever been. All signs of pollution, were gone. I looked around as the crystal lake before me, at the luscious ferns and plants and evergreen trees soaring high above. The fresh, crisp air entering my lungs.\n\nI... I was home.\n\nI quickly turned back to the ship to grab my gear. I wouldn’t be here for long, so I obviously needed to make the most out of the time that I had. I had a satchel with a couple days worth of dried food, some water and a gun with me as I began my hike towards the unknown.\n\nNot even thirty minutes into my trip did I come across signs of intelligent life. Footprints in the still damp dirt, little peelings and mounds here and there.\n\nPeople still lived here, I was sure of it.\n\nWalking on, I finally approached what seemed to be a still-functioning camp site. I watched from the bushes as figured hustlers in and out of tents, some working a fire, some tending to crops. \n\nDeciding to meet them, I took a couple steps from the bushes, and ended up dropping everything due to what I saw.\n\nThey, weren’t human. Extraterrestrial life, aliens, whatever you want to call them. They were here, staring at me.\n\n“I’m not going to hurt you,” one said as it stepped towards me. I just stood, mouth agape, letting it and it’s group approach me, observe me.\n\n“I supposed you humans are coming to explore again. To take this planet. I won’t hold you here against you’re will, won’t command you what to do, but please listen to us for just one second at least. This Earth, this place, is special, and what humans did to t took years for us to reverse. Now, you can go home and tell your people that it’s fine here, that it’s normal and you can return, or you can allow us to live here in peace, to preserve the Earth as it is.”\n\nI swallowed the lump in my throat before replying.\n\n“I... I, um, I don’t want to ruin the earth. I don’t want to go home, because Mars, that coming, isn’t my home. This is. I’m home now.”\n\n——————————————————————————————————\n\nUgh sorry it’s not the best and there’s a lot of typos but enjoy lol if u even wanna read it. <3"
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My first try. Sorry if suck
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[WP] I awake in total darkness and struggle to breath. My body is completely surrounded by, what feels like warm, wet ground beef. The stench is unbearable! On my back, I feel a sensation which can only be described as a pumping organ.. Where the fuck am I?
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"\"Oh shoot,\" was my first thought. After all, why would a sentient rib exist in the first place?\n\nWas I the first sentient rib or were we all sentient and just could not communicate with each other?\n\nI tried to call out with my non-existant mouth, but that just left me wondering how I knew what a mouth was. Suddenly I was outside my just body abs being shaped by a mysterious force I could only imagine was G-d.\n\nI looked with my newfound eyes at the body of Man. Instead of a belly button, he had a large scar, perhaps the cost of giving birth unnaturally. \n\nOn reflection I realized I already knew what birth was, and what Man called the other animals, and what Man called me: Eve."
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[WP] Oh yeah! I'd been kidnapped. Oh wait: that was a bad thing.
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"Swing. Pull. Lift. Swing. Pull. Lift.\n\nJeffery’s steady panting was masked by the constant thudding of dozens of mattocks digging into the hillside.\n\nSwing. Pull. Lift. Swing. Pull. Lift.\n\nJeffery paused only for a moment, quickly wiping his brow with a dirty sleeve, returning to the repetitive task. Dust filled the air around the long line of laborers toiling in the blistering heat, loosening the dirt and pulling it aside for others to shovel into wheelbarrows and cart away.\n\n\"Hey, you! Get back to work!\"\n\nHe flinched at the words—had he failed to be surreptitious in his momentary letup?\n\n*Whack!*\n\nHe flinched again as he heard the familiar sound of cane slapping against calves... a few feet to the left. An equally familiar yelp accompanied it. He let out a quiet sigh of relief. *Just Landon, as usual.*\n\nHis task being one that required more physical strain than mental concentration, he allowed his mind to wander. There wasn't much else to do. *Why isn't there much else to do? Why has it taken so long to dig this channel? Are we the only ones doing it? Will I be free when I'm done?\"*\n\nTo his right, the brown dirt and clay of the wide trench stretched for miles, baking under the sun. Jeffery presumed it continued up to the distant River, waiting for the remaining span to the breached so it could swallow its portion of water.\n\nAhead and to the left, the trench was intercepted by rolling hills. The laborers had been instructed to continue on through the obstacle, and so they did. As they did yesterday, and the day before that, and on and on as far back as Jeffery cared to remember.\n\nThe blazing sun arced from its easterly rise to its zenith, and as the crescendo of oppressive heat burned against each digger's back, Jeffery's day continued as it always had: in the dirt, in pain, and in fear of attracting a taskmaster's ire. Then he heard something.\n\nA loud *ting* that became increasingly muffled filled his ears, gradually replaced by a continual ringing. He realized that his vision had turned white, as if someone in a dark room had suddenly shone a bright light into his eyes. As soon as it came, it was gone.\n\nBlinking, slightly dazed, the soil and ubiquitous clamor of mattocks and shovels returned. He moved his mattock from where he had driven it into the earth, revealing a dark shape underneath. He scraped away the dirt, uncovering more of the object. It was a rock, very dark in color. The rest of it was hidden in the hillside; Jeffery continued to dig around it but managed to unearth only a part of it.\n\n\"What's that scrabbling about for?! Can't you put your back into it?!\"\n\nHe cast a glance back at the taskmaster that scrambled down the embankment and jogged towards him, cane already raised in the air. The man suddenly stopped his approach and peered at Jeffery. Then he realized the man was peering past him, at the spot he'd been digging. Jeffery returned his gaze to the spot, stumbling as the taskmaster shoved him aside and pawed around in the dirt, exposing more of the dark stone.\n\n\"Charlie, c'mere!\" The man faced the embankment from which he came and waved. Another man strode down into the trench and crossed its width, standing beside them. Jeffery could tell Charlie was of a higher rank, his dark garments lacking the stains and grunge of those who spend their days in the dusty trench.\n\n\"How long since...?\" Charlie left his question unfinished, crouching as he examined the stone.\n\n\"Can't be long,\" the taskmaster replied, a hint of excitement in his voice. \"I just noticed meself.\" He then faced Jeffery, his bushy brows furrowing, tone changing to that of a scold. \"If you'd done as we've instructed you dimwits a thousand times and told us the moment you found something interesting—\"\n\n\"But he hasn't found anything interesting,\" Charlie said, smiling. \"Nothing more than a boulder in the ground, or bedrock. Just a rock.\"\n\n\"Yeah,\" The taskmaster replied, his scowl replaced with a grin of his own. \"Just a stone in the ground.\"\n\n\"Alright, keeping digging around it. I'll have the pickaxes brought out if they're needed.\"\n\n\"You 'eard him, quit lolling about!\"\n\nJeffery quickly returned to the task as the taskmaster threatened him with his cane. Charlie left, and Jeffery spent the rest of the afternoon digging around the rock, the taskmaster now always a little ways off, almost in his peripheral vision. More and more of the rock was exposed to the afternoon light; occasionally he heard the echoing impact of someone else striking it. Otherwise, the day played out as usual, with the expected aches and occasional shouts of one of the passing taskmasters.\n\nEventually the light faded and dusk rolled over the land. The call sounded and the workers scrambled out of the trench. Jeffery turned and walked off the large, smooth area of stone that he and his fellow laborers had uncovered over the day—a great dark patch that stretched several feet to either side of him and about eight feet forward, the rest of it disappearing into the ground and the hillside.\n\n---\n\n\"...never before has anyone had so noble a task, so great a privilege, so crucial a responsibility, and so grave a duty as that which has been set before you today!\"\n\nJeffery stood in the loose, rough formation of his half-asleep fellows amid the dim light of the encampment's lanterns, half listening as the bald man with the large mustache and long beard forcefully expectorated his equally lengthy lecture. He struggled to keep his head from nodding, lest one of the taskmasters patrolling between the rows of laborers bring down their swift punitive measures upon him.\n\n\"...what must be driven into your minds, what must be nailed into your souls every day is the suffering that we strive to salve, the poverty and hardship that your toil will end! The doom that will be avoided only if you wholeheartedly set yourself to the task! The City is dying! Every day our people cry out for water! Every day another child faints from thirst! Every day they peer out over the walls, hoping beyond hope to see us in the distance, drawing the channel near, digging a lifeline to the City! Rerouting the River's life-giving flow in order to save our home! Remember their suffering when you feel like complaining about your aching backs! Remember their nights of sleepless thirst while you sleep in your comfortable cots! Remember the dying children when You! Waste! Water!\"\n\nWith each of those final three emphasized words, he jerked the head of the kneeling man that his hand rested upon.\n\n*Poor Landon. He just can't catch a break.* Jeffery had been waiting in line for his water rations not an hour earlier when he saw Landon stumble, knocking over the barrel and earning himself the honor of being the subject of the nightly diatribe. Over the years, Jeffery had noticed it was an honor often bestowed upon Landon.\n\n\"Let this be a reminder of how truly fortunate you profligates are, and an example of only a small portion of the suffering the City endures every minute!\" The lecturer stepped back while three of the taskmasters standing nearby approached Landon and raised their canes, then in unison dispensed their swift punitive measures.\n\nWhen the beating was finished, the lecturer stepped forward to address them again. \"Tomorrow will be another day of productivity and persistent commitment to the cause. May your rest be well, so that you may be prepared to again undertake the Great Task upon the morn!\"\n\nThe crowd dispersed, each making their way to their assigned tent. Jeffery stiffly shuffled to towards his own, when he felt his arm yanked nearly out of its socket. Before he could make any protest, he realized he was being dragged away. Almost pulled off his feet, he was quickly led behind a nearby tent, then spun around.\n\n**Edit:** fixed typos. \n**Edit2 20180316:** more fixes."
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[WP]As a successful demon you have made many deals with foolish mortals, this latest one was extremely adamant that the price be his first born...
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"'Your firstborn child, is all I ask,' I said to the old human sitting before me on the leather armchair opposite my own. 'That is the price for my... services.'\n\nThe human shuffled about, the soles of his feet near-ready to fall off. 'Look...' he tried to plead. 'I... I don't know how to tell you this but...'\n\n'Don't tell me,' I said as I held out my goblet for some imps to slave away at pouring me some more fine wine. 'Homosexual? Sterile? Or just not ready to commit to a relationship?'\n\n'Well...' he said as he pulled down his waist to expose his injury. I raised my brow in curious surprise before he explained, 'last winter, some upper-class twits held me down, smeared my crotch with peanut butter before releasing an attack dog onto me.'\n\nI would have to admit, even *I* felt a pang of genuine sympathy for his plight. 'To be honest, forcing a hound onto someone like how you described is a recurring punishment within Hell,' I informed him. 'I have done it myself. Sometimes, I've even been the hound! But at least our victims *deserved* it. Did they receive punishment?'\n\n'No...' he grumbled. 'The DA wouldn't even look at that case.'\n\nSixty years old, homeless since he was unjustly thrown out of school. A prime candidate for this kind of deal. He was seriously considering my bargain, but the idea of sentencing someone unjustly to being my eternal slave...\n\n'You *did* spot the loophole, did you not?' I asked him. 'About offering up your firstborn? Such a price only takes effect *if* you have children. And as far as you're aware, you have none, right?'\n\n'...Before my expulsion, my girlfriend at the time got pregnant,' he said. 'She said her father would force her to get an abortion but...'\n\n'The child wouldn't have been *born* then,' I said to him. 'Believe me, I know the finer wordings.'\n\n'So... did she?' he asked. 'Did she...?'\n\n'You *did* see the news article, correct?' I asked him. 'She murdered her parents for drugging her and taking her to a clinic a month after your expulsion... and she was sentenced to death. I wasn't aware of another soul of that lineage dying at that time. What I'm saying is... as long as you don't conceive... you lose nothing in this deal.'\n\nHe took another moment to consider while I ordered my imps to bring me some food. I hadn't even noticed the blood of when he slit his palms open and signed his name with the knife that caused the offending wound.\n\n'Well, the paperwork has been signed,' I said. 'A deal is a deal. You will suffer no longer.'\n\nBefore he knew it, he was no longer the starved hobo that was going to spend the night sleeping next to a dumpster behind a Chinese restaurant. Hair trimmed and slicked back, a bodybuilder's physique covered by a suit perfectly fitted for it, shoes made of only the finest leather and gold-and-platinum, gem-encrusted jewelry worth billions of dollars were now on his fingers, hanging from his neck and studded into his ears.\n\n'You will wake up in the most luxurious hotel suite in the city,' I informed him. 'And also, I'll guarantee you won't die until you're at least a hundred and forty, for the years you lost when your best friend got you thrown out.'\n\n'Wait, it was Jonesy?!' he asked in surprise.\n\n'Yes, it was,' I told him. 'I'd recommend a trip to the country club, to rub it in.'\n\nHe didn't get to say anything else before flames engulfed him, taking him back to the mortal realm.\n\nAnd just as the imps arrived with the jar, my next guest arrived. 'Holy shit!' he yelled. 'What the fuck?!'\n\n'Ah, David, I presume?' I asked my new guest. 'I didn't expect to see you down here for another couple of decades. But it seems our meeting has been bumped up.'\n\n'What the...' he tried to say, before he focused on me and realized what I was. 'H-hold on, man. I ain't done anything to you!'\n\n'No, but you *did* torture a homeless man with some of this and a dog, right?' I asked him, showing him the peanut butter. 'I just made a deal with him. He was rather reluctant, at first. Just had to tell him that his bastard was aborted by his lover and *didn't* get adopted like you were.'\n\n'...Oh, shit,' he groaned. 'No-one else knew about that! Only that P.I. that-'\n\n'That you murdered,' I said as chains wrapped around his wrists and ankles, suspending him in the air. 'And for that, you are bound to be my prisoner as I instill the proper punishment. And I *so* need to teach my hounds to hunt...'"
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[WP] You are a rebellious teenager growing up in a strict Church of Satan family.
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"\"What the hell is this?\" Paul's father demanded, bursting into his room and throwing a copy of the Torah onto his lap. \n\n\"I'm Jewish now,\" Paul replied coldly. \n\n\"Are you fucking kidding me? Your mother and I did not raise you like this. After all we have done for you, you repay us like this?\" his father shouted in reply.\n\nPaul didn't respond. He reached for his head phones on the side of his bed and attempted to put them on. Paul's father snatched his phone out of his hand and looked at the screen. It was a podcast by Paul's favorite rabbi.\n\n\"Your mother is going to cry when she sees this,\" Paul father snarled, \"I hope you're happy breaking this family apart. We have given you so much. We trusted you with this cell-phone because you promised you would use it strictly for pornography.\"\n\n\"I don't want to be a Satanist dad!\" Paul wailed, \"I want to be Jewish!\"\n\nPaul's father looked at him in disgust. \n\n\"Forgive my son, oh devilish lord, for he knows not what he is doing.\" Paul father prayed. \n\nHis father turned and slammed the door behind him. \n\nFrom inside the room, Paul's father heard the sound of a portal from hell opening, hellish shrieking, burning bodies and cries of anguish. \n\n\"Dad! Help!\" his son exclaimed.\n\n\"I'm sorry, Paul.\""
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[WP]You find yourself in an empty room, bar a box that says “ Do Not Open”. Your curiosity had the better of you and so you decide to open it. You are then met with an unexpected outcome.
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"(referance that spoils the movie castaway staring tom hanks if you haven't seen it for some reason go watch it or face spoilers reading this) The room had a stupid light that only shone straight down on the box like a arifact of importance in a videogame. It took a while for me to realize that the light was on a chain not a rod like I first thought and that I had nothing of weight on me that I could use to throw cover or poke the light with I had awakened dressed the way I had been helping a friend move I try reaching for my phone but it has no signal and see almost a day has passed since I took a cab home from helping my friend. It was like I was kidnapped after getting home as soon as my hat, shoes and coat were off.\n\nStill having my roll of packing tape on my wrist gave me that impression. So I tried throwing it at the light I may have had luck had it been a full roll but the half empty roll only made the chain jangle slightly. My next plan was to feel the weight of the box and see if the tape could be used to hold it together if I tried moving it since it was close to the size of a toaster but had a fair bit of weight. I taped it up as best I could then got the idea to throw it at the light to illuminate this room that could probably fit 5 full scale coppies of the titanic. I then threw the box at the light and managed to shatter the light's shade and start the light swinging. I saw the door and raced to it I got it open and the people who were inspecting me said I wasn't what they expected but they liked testing me. One walked up and said \"First to complete the castaway challenge like tom hanks character you had a package to not open and had to escape without opening it. Come see what your package contained.\" \n\nThe package was a box of flashlights which only survived my throwing due to my taping job on the box holding the packaging tight enough not to break stuff but to have all the packing material take all the damage. They then asked me to try different tests they had and I made progress on tests they expected to never be completed. They they tried the box test again with a differently weighted box but upon lifting it to check the weight the lab went into lockdown and they told me by intercom the creature they were testing invisibility garmets on was in the same room as me and I will be out as soon as possible. I figured out where the beast was and slid the box towards it for it to play with while I could tell the box was the focus I tested the jump enhancing boots aiming to grab the light and instead landed on its back and grabbed hold. Realizing my arms were near the neck with it trying to reach me I tried bringing my one hand up to scratch the creature's ear only then did I find out not only it was a lion but it enjoyed getting its ear scratched and was calmed by the ear scratching. They were afraid when they saw me floating in midair on an invisible lion. \n\nAfter that they then told me they had enough information and knocked me out putting me back at home a week after having been kidnapped and they had cleaned up the small mess on my to do list the night they took me. Good thing too because I had cooked a really smelly meal with fish that was delicious for my friend and I letting my place air out and the dishes soak while I was out helping them move."
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[WP] You went back in time to prevent WWI. When you came back, all of Europe is controlled by a dystopian dictatorship, which crushes all resistance with an iron boot. The leader of this dystopian world?...John Lennon....
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"What have I done. \n\nI traveled back to 1912 Europe to stop the greatest war the world has ever known. It would have been known as the Great War were it not for World War Two, but I had hoped that it would not be known at all. Some argue that the events caused by the gun of Gavrilo Princip that day was the trigger that brought about the events that brought Europe to heel for the next three decades. \n\nI went back and killed him. Him and his collaborators. The Archduke lives, and I know now I was wrong to meddle. \n\nI have just returned to the present day. 2018. A cursory check on my phone shows me that both world wars cease to exist. The despots of Hitler, Mussolini and more are never realised. Only, something far worse has come about. \n\nA new despot, far greater than anything I have known before. He rules the world with an iron first. The scouse scourge, they call him. The imperial ruler, John Lennon. \n\nIt seems the world needed tyrants. It needed to learn from its mistakes. I did nothing but stop the lesson being learned. And now this one is upon us, and I fear for the future I have created. I look up at the wall erected near his grand Beatle palace, and I read his manifesto that is carved into the stone.\n\n*Imagine there's no freedom,*\n\n*It's easy if you try,*\n\n*No liberty to save you,*\n\n*And if you try, you die.*\n\n*Imagine all the people,*\n\n*Living for the state, aha ahh.*\n\n*Imagine there's no countries,*\n\n*It isn't hard to do,*\n\n*Nothing to kill or die for,*\n\n*I've done it all for you.*\n\n*Imagine all the people,*\n\n*Living for the state, aha ahh.*\n\n*You may say I'm a despot,*\n\n*And I am the only one,*\n\n*I hope someday you'll see that,*\n\n*I control you all as one.*\n\n*Imagine no salvation,*\n\n*I wonder if you can,*\n\n*No need for food or healthcare,*\n\n*United under one man.*\n\n*Imagine all the people,*\n\n*Living under me, aha ah.*\n\n*You may say I'm a tyrant,*\n\n*And I am the only one,*\n\n*I hope someday you will see that,*\n\n*The world you knew is gone.*\n\nWhat have I done."
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[WP] Once you were the Evil Overlord. Your name commanded fear and reverence. You have been defeated by Hero and sealed away. And now, after almost a millennium of your imprisonment, your followers are on the brink of setting you free. Thing is, you actually like being retired.
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"\"DO NOT QUESTION ME, FOOL!\" I bellowed directly into the minotaur's brain. I severed the mental link for a brief moment to take a sip of water. Even though I wasn't yelling out loud, it still hurt my throat. \"YOUR FEEBLE MIND CANNOT HOPE TO COMPREHEND THE COMPLEXITY OF MY PLAN. I DO NOT REQUIRE YOUR QUESTIONS. I ONLY REQUIRE YOUR OBEDIENCE.\"\n\n\"Yes, master,\" the minotaur replied after a long pause. \"I shall do as you ask.\" It severed the mental link, but not quickly enough to avoid me hearing its final thoughts. \"What the hell is he thinking? He must be going senile.\"\n\nI chuckled to myself. Once upon a time, that minotaur would've felt the full force of my wrath for such an impertinent thought. Even now, even sealed away in this prison, I still have enough of a connection to the outside world to turn the impudent beast into a pile of ash if I wanted to. But I don't want to. Not really. Casting spells tires me out, and to be honest the minotaur's reaction made sense. I *did* just ask it to deliver a powerful weapon to the hero that seeks to prevent my release, after all.\n\nI pace the floors of my crystal prison, looking down at the world far below me. It's a beautiful view; lush green forests and rolling mountains, unspoiled and untouched. If my army had its way, the idyllic landscape would be reduced to a smouldering wasteland. Before, I never really cared about this sort of thing but having spent nearly a thousand years with nothing to look at but the scenery, I've developed an appreciation for it.\n\nI hum to myself and conjure a china teapot out of thin air. Time for a drink. All that mental shouting raises my blood pressure. I pour myself a steaming cup of chamomile tea and sit back in my rocking chair to enjoy it. A small smile grows on my face. This imprisonment was supposed to be a punishment, but with the ability to conjure up anything I want, it's pure bliss. \n\nWhen I've finished my tea, I settle down into a comfortable position to begin my daily meditation. Being almost completely alone with your own thoughts for so long can be difficult, but if you manage to find the right mental balance it gets so much easier. I shut my eyes, let my mind go blank, and breathe in deeply. In. Out. In...\n\nOh no.\n\nSomebody is trying to contact me. There's only one being with the power to contact *me* rather than the other way around, and she's the last person I want to talk to. To be honest, even calling her a person is generous. \n\nI look around and swear. I try to mind my language nowadays, but I feel that this situation is dire enough to justify it. If she sees me like this, she'll find a way to break into my prison and murder me. Hastily, I point at all the incriminating objects, banishing them into oblivion. My rocking chair, the teapot and cup, my vase of flowers, even the notebook I've been filling with my attempts at poems. It hurts to see it go. I've made a lot of progress with my poetry, and now it's gone without a trace. \n\nThe mental contact comes again, and it takes all of my strength to stop her from forcing her way into my head. With the few seconds I have left, I check that everything is in order. My prison is barren and empty. I conjure up a few skulls and cobwebs. That looks better, but I still feel like there's something missing. Just before I accept the connection, I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the walls of the jail. Scrawny, non-threatening, and worst of all, naked. \n\nDid I mention I've taken up nudism? There's nobody around to see me, after all, and it feels great to be so close to nature.\n\nI create some dark robes with ominous glowing runes and change the colour of my eyes to a deep, bloody red. That will have to do. If she asks, I'll just tell her being imprisoned has diminished my power. Breathing a sigh of relief, I accept the mental contact.\n\n\"Hello, Kira.\" \n\n\"Master,\" she hissed. \"For a while I thought even I would not be able to reach you.\" \n\n\"You have done well,\" I think at her. It's difficult to keep unwanted thoughts out of my head, but I do my best to push them away. \"How goes the campaign to release me?\" \n\n\"The bonds are weakening. The thousandth anniversary of your incarceration approaches, and then your prison shall be at its weakest.\" I could almost feel her reptilian eyes boring into my head as she spoke. \"There is just one problem. Your legions of darkness are behaving... strangely.\" My heart sinks.\n\n\"Strangely? What do you mean?\"\n\n\"Some individuals seem to be deliberately hampering our campaign. Just earlier today I captured a minotaur attempting to deliver the Sword of Ranash to our enemies.\"\n\n\"I trust you dealt with it accordingly,\" I say, trying to shield my disappointment. \n\n\"Of course. I have questioned the culprit, as I questioned the ones that came before him. Strangely, they all told the same story.\" Her words are like ice water sliding down my back. \"They told me that you had spoken to them and ordered them to betray us.\" \n\nI feign surprise.\n\n\"How strange. Our enemies must be more powerful than we thought, if one of them is able to mimic me.\"\n\n\"Indeed. I know that if you had been able to contact anybody outside this prison, I would have been the first to hear about it.\"\n\n\"O-of course,\" I stammer. \"Regardless. Inform the armies to be extra vigilant.\"\n\n\"And?\"\n\n\"And to only take orders from you,\" I sigh. \"Because you're the only one who can contact me and convey my true wishes.\"\n\n\"Very good, Master.\" I can almost see the fanged smile that must be on her face right now. \"I shall contact you later to update you on our progress. Do not worry. Soon, you shall be free.\" With that promise that seemed more like a threat, she was gone. \n\nI groan and place my head in my hands. I need to think of another way to help my jailers. Being away from Kira is the best part of being imprisoned.\n\nI summon a bowl of cherries and pluck one from the bowl, rolling it around in my fingers absentmindedly before flicking my finger and shooting the pip towards the land below. It strikes the wall of my cell and tumbles to my feet. I toss the cherry into my mouth and contemplate the immaculate scenery below, wondering how I'm going to get out of this mess.\n\n~~~\n\n/r/DarkAlliGator"
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[WP] The world's first cryogenically preserved person was resurrected today.
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[
"\"Six...six hundred years?\" Dave mouthed. \"So, the War must be over by now. But where is everyone?\"\n\n\"Unknown,\" the computer intoned. \"I do not carry that information.\"\n\n\"Dammit, then what use are you?\"\n\n\"I can provide the location of nutritional supplies stored in this base,\" it replied. \"Since you have exited the cryonic chamber, your metabolic rate has likely increased ten thousand fold. You will need to consume substantially more calories to sustain your body mass.\"\n\n\"I am getting kind of hungry,\" he admitted. \"OK, fine. Food first, and then we need to talk.\"\n\n---\n\n\"So, why did you wake me up now?\" Dave was looking at various canned foods he picked out of creak cupboards. The computer apparently could follow him anywhere; its voice seem to come from the walls.\n\n\"Your cryonic chamber has depleted its liquid helium stores. I could not maintain your frozen state.\"\n\n\"Ah, that makes sense.\" He selected a 16 oz *meatballs&gravy*. \"Uh, you wouldn't happen to know where I can get a can open, do ya?\"\n\nA slot seemed to open in what had been a seamless wall. After a moment's hesitation, Dave dropped the can inside. After a few minutes of whirring, clacking, and beeping, another slot in the wall opened, closer to a table. A plate of spaghetti eased itself out, complete with silverware.\n\nDave dug in. \"Just like how momma used to make.\" It wasn't, really. But that seemed like the thing to say.\n___\n\nHe lay down on the roof of the building, a fluffy towel separating his back from the granite floor. The stars were beautiful. He had never seen so many before.\n\n\"All the light pollution is gone now, I guess. Just like us humans, eh?\" he mused out loud.\n\n\"I do not know.\" The computerized voice from the floor, somewhere. \n\n\"You said you can detect ambient conditions in the surroundings.\"\n\n\"Correct. The temperature is--\"\n\n\"I mean, can't you tell if there are people around?\"\n\n\"There are no radio broadcasts being sent within 10 miles of this location. I have no other long-range way to sense a human presence.\"\n\n\"When was the last message? Or radio static of any kind?\"\n\n\"397 years ago.\"\n\n\"Shit,\" Dave whistled. He sipped on a beer. Amazingly, the glass bottle had stayed sealed well enough to keep carbonation for hundreds of years. Now that was truly a marvel.\n___\n\n\"I've got all the necessary provisions,\" Dave said, mostly talking to himself. \"Lotta food, water, medical supplies...and a radio, just in case.\"\n\n\"I have reviewed the contents of your pack. I find it satisfactory for a journey of at least five days walking.\"\n\n\"Great. And I'll hopefully find more food and water on the way.\" And people, maybe. Dave turned to go, and then looked back at the main console again. He didn't need to, considering that it could hear him anywhere. \"You gonna be still here when - if - I come back?\"\n\nHe thought the the computer wouldn't answer the childish question. But after a second of silence, it simply said: \"I will.\"\n\n\"Well, good.\" David nodded once, and shut the lab door. He began walking toward the rising sun, unsure and uncertain of where he was going and what he might find. But he didn't look back.\n\n\n\n\n______________________________________\n\n*Liked that? [More stories here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Idreamofdragons/)!* \n\n"
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Like buttering toast. Or doing your taxes. Or Boggle.
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[WP] Write a movie trailer for something that definitely doesn’t deserve a movie trailer.
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"It was a rainy saturday night in a small middle America town. Nothing to do, not even the cows were stirring. Corn fields sat still while the town's teenagers looked for ways to let their minds rot. Deep in the corner of a house on Chicago Lane, Joey Raymond receives a snap from Ronny Jay.\n\n\"Bruh, when you get over here? Ken Sampson is gonna knock the face out of James Whitman. I got the thing on Pay Per View! wyd rn?\" said the snap. \n\nEverybody in high school would be talking about this UFC fight. Cody and Stan took bets last week in shop class, talking non stop about how Sampson was gonna submit Whitman. Joey put a buck on Whitman just to stick it. \"Hell no I ain't missing this man,\" Joey snapped. \n \nJoey picked the phone up and took a picture of his car. He was running to Ronny now. Walking into his black 2008 Toyota Camry, he put his foot on the accelerator. Ten minutes later and he was on Ronny's couch, a foamy and illicit beer in hand. The fights were just beginning.\n\n\"Can you believe Whitman? His reach is 6'2 standing...\" the TV blared.\n\n\"You put ten on Whitman, bro?\" said Ronny.\n\n\"He's got an unbelievable ground game. You don't want to start a wrestling match with...\" the TV droned. \n\n\"Nah man, I got money on Sampson in the second round -- almost beginning.\" \n\n\"And now a word from our sponsors -- the Joey and Ronny movie!\"\n\nJoey and Ronny took a quick stare at each other before turning back to the TV. Perplexed, the usually rapid fire blinks of this generation of screen worshippers turned to thousand yard stares. \n\n\"What? A movie with a guy named Joey and a guy named Ronny?\" said Joey.\n\n\"I hope Channing Tatum plays me man\" said Ronny. \n\n\"Nah man. You watching this?\"\n\nA home appeared on the TV. It looked familiar. Too familiar.\n\n\"Joey... is that your house?\"\n\n\"No man. No way.\"\n\n\"Bro -- that's your house. Shit! Isn't that your bedroom? WAIT THAT'S YOU!\"\n\nJoey appeared on TV. He was wearing the same clothes that he was wearing now. On tv, Joey stared at his phone -- up popped the snapchat from Ronny.\n\n\"Joey Raymond is an average teenage boy. He loves computer games and UFC fights. He was a normal boy -- until his life turned inside out.\" the narrator of the ad said. \n\nA montage plays. The tv shows Joey buttering toast, surfing reddit and shaving. Joey is shown driving his car. Suddenly on the screen Ronny's house becomes visible. All this is set to the Rocky theme. As the montage nears end, it shows Joey and Ronny both sitting on the couch, beer in hand, in the same clothes they were wearing now. \n\n\"Because today is the day that Joey and Ronny fight to the death!\" the narrator said. A quick credit sequence rolls. Joey and Ronny are both on the couch on the TV and on the couch in Ronny's mom's basement. \n\nJoey and Ronny were both perplexed. They just watched themselves on TV. In the clothes they were wearing now. It was the last forty five minutes of their lives minimized into a 40 second clip selling a \"Joey and Ronny movie.\" \n\n\"That's it?\"\n\n"
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[WP] Just write something fucking happy. Maybe with a science fiction element
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[
" I've never seen a furry quadruped before. Where I'm from, all of them are scaly, slimy creatures. Mostly larger than myself. This wouldn't be a problem if they all didn't have such nasty attitudes to us bipods. \n\n This creature is different. There were no scales, only hair. Instead of approaching me with thousands of razor-sharp teeth, I was greeted by a cautious sniff. I think it could tell I was nervous, but he was nervous too. Our timidity only made us both realize we meant each other no harm.\n\n I had some sweets in my pocket, and I think he smelled it. \n\n \"You want this?\" I asked, holding a chunk by his face. Without hesitation, he garbled it right up. His hair looked fluffy and smooth. I reached to touch it, expecting a snap or quick retreat. To my surprise, it leaned up against me and gladly accepted the rubbing!\n\n \"What are you, magnificent being?\" I asked it. The hairy four legged creature then started licking my face! It was very bizarre, but I enjoyed it, oddly enough.\n\n From behind, a strange voice called out towards me. \"Making out with strangers, how did I know?\"\n\n\"Do I know you?\"\n\n\"Don't think so, that's my dog though.\" He chuckled.\n\n\"Dog? Hmm. Could you tell me where I am sir?\"\n\n\"In a park, down town. Rough night I take it?\"\n\n\"No sir, but I must be getting home to report my findings. Good day to you!\"\n\n We walk our separate ways after the native to this planet leaves, not before attaching a device to his \"dog\". It seems to be some kind of connection, possibly of the mind? The dog must transfer information directly to guide his pet around. Interesting.\n\n I'm really excited to report my research. My boss will give me a raise after I tell him about the \"dogs\", their pets, and the civilization of \"Innapark\" on the planet of \"Downtown\".",
"PART TWO.\n\n\"Keep at it, Depaysement. You're *very* funny,\" I tell her dismissively, trying to sound tougher than I feel, because there's in fact a tight knot of anxiety forming in my stomach; my limbs feel weirdly light as I jam the helmet over my head. I would probably be more annoyed about the condition it's going to leave my hair in later, but the truth is that I always seem to spend a lot less time worrying about those things when I'm with Maps anyway. \n\nShe grabs my wrist, and I stop, a little surprised. It's always a shock, the way the world goes so utterly, completely silent when we make contact. I still don't understand how she does it, why it happens, but the moment she caught me from falling at the lighthouse was the first moment of true peace I'd ever known. It's an addictive feeling; if it were up to me, I might have spent the four years since in constant, unending contact with her just for the peace and quiet of it. \n\nAnd yet--I haven't. Because I can't predict what she would do, what she would feel, if I asked for something that weird, that specific, that vulnerable--if I asked to touch her. What kind of psychopath even puts words like that together? The idea makes everything in me tense up, and I wonder if everyone feels like this every time they can't figure out what another person is feeling. And if I'm being honest, there's something else in me that recoils at the idea of needing someone, or something, that much. \n\nThis feeling of *quiet* is good. It's nice. It's everything. And yet I know I can't live here in it, because it will make me weak, and weak people don't make it out in the real world. In my world. \n\n\"Really, though,\" Maps says, fingers still closed loosely around my wrist; she lifts the sunglasses, lifts the *cool* away to reveal the real person underneath for a second, \"You don't have to ride it. We can walk it back. It's not a big deal. Honest.\"\n\nFor a second, I consider taking her up on the offer, because I know she's sincere--and because I truly am increasingly terrified of the prospect.\n\n\n“I’m good,” I tell her instead, but I still can't bring myself to pull my arm away, “You built it. You’re driving. I trust you. Are we going to do this or not?” \n\n\nShe smiles a lopsided grin that seems different somehow, but I can't quite place it. I find myself looking for her emotions, trying to feel them the way I would anyone else. But there's nothing. All I have is silence, and the sight of her even, white teeth, with those pointed canines that I like so much, for reasons I don't really understand. But for a second I think this smile seems child-like in it’s sincerity--and just a little flustered. And I have to wonder--is there a possibility she’s feeling something big, too? \n\n\nThe ride through the town is a thing of pure joy. It’s terrifying at first, as the thing roars to life and growls idly to itself, all its pieces vibrating ever so much, like a barely contained beast. But then I'm settled close in behind Maps, and she pulls my arms tight around her waist. I lean my face into her back at first, so that I can't see anything, because if I see anything at all I just know I'm going to die of terror. Every part of me is tense, and my heart hammers hard in my ears, so that's it's all I can hear under the roar of the bike. I can feel flashes of emotion as we ride, familiar emotions and foreign ones. The murmur is a constant presence pressing against my brain, and trying to contain my own genuine terror makes it harder to keep it all out. I'm starting to feel a little sick and disoriented when we come to a stop. Maps lays her hand over mine. \n\n\nThe silence is like a breath of air, and I'm able to lift my head enough to see that we’re stopped at a traffic light. \n\n\n“Better?” She asks over her shoulder. \n\n\n“Yeah,” I confirm breathlessly, and I wonder why my heart is still beating madly against my ribs, even though the bike is at a stop. \n\n\n“Here,” She says as she moves my hand, puts it under the back of her jacket, under the white t-shirt below, “If it helps.”\n\n\nI lay my palm flat against her skin as the light changes. I can almost feel the rhythm of my heartbeat vibrating in my teeth. I can hear the bike, and some cadets talking loudly on the street corner; I can feel the sun hot against my back and I can see this whole Base sprawling out in front of us. I can see that the guy in the car next to us is watching, looking perplexed and intrigued and too interested. But what I can't do is at all feel what he's feeling, and it's a glorious, liberating thing. \n\n\nThat's where the joy comes in. The Base is large enough to be its own small town, and it's a town I've lived in my whole life--but I've never seen it quite like this, fast and close and real, with the air rushing against my face, tangling in my hair, filling me up and making me feel *clear* somehow. And I think this must be it, this is what it means to be seventeen. Seventeen is the back of a motorcycle, with the sun sinking low and your heart in your throat. Seventeen is having your arms around someone you care about, someone you trust, someone you love.\n\n\nSomeone you *love*.\n\n\nAnd like that, the big feeling has a name.\n\n\nThe word sinks down into my brain and settles there quietly, like a heavy stone thrown into a lake, settling into the mud and silt at the bottom. The city breaks down, falls away; we leave the Base altogether and the landscape goes bare, becomes the sparse, rocky coast. When Maps finally pulls up to the lighthouse and brings the bike to a stop, I feel jittery and too light, I feel alive and real and sure and I know, I know, I *know* that I was right, that nothing can ever be the same again. That I've lost control of the situation and that I don't know what's going to happen next. \n\n\n“So, King, what's on your reading list for today--”\n\n\nI'm not sure how it happens. She gets off the bike, sweeps the helmet from her head, shakes her dark hair out. I get off, too, take the helmet off, let it hit the ground. She turns at the sound, and with my hair a catastrophe, with the sound of the waves lapping at the rocks, I grab the front of her jacket, and I kiss her there in the shadow of the lighthouse. Because there are no other options, because I have to, because she’s Maps and I'm in love with her, and it's the only thing in the world that makes any sense to me anymore.\n\n\nShe seems surprised for only a half second, and then I hear her helmet hit the ground, too, and I feel her hands against my face. And in that moment, there’s a kind of peace for which I don't have words. In that time, I don't have to fight anyone else’s emotional demons--but I also don’t have to fight my own, either. The worry, the sadness, the anxiety, the insecurity and fear that’s all very much my own--it’s quiet. And then there's just *me* left, at my core, at my most bare and honest and real. \n\n\nTime seems to stutter, and I have no idea if it's been a second or an hour when I step back, heart racing, fighting for air, as if I've just run a marathon.\n\n\n“I'm sorry, I'm sorry--I should have asked, I should said something--”\n\n\n“Violetta, it's okay--”\n\n\nThe way she says my name makes me want to kiss her all over again.\n\n\n“Is it really okay?” I ask her, “Are you sure? Isn’t this--isn’t this weird? Or wrong? Or--I don’t know--”\n\n\nShe closes the step between us again and gives a small shrug. She reaches up to touch my hair, her eyes not meeting mine.\n\n\n“I guess it's not exactly the way everyone else does things, is it?” She says, almost more to herself than to me, it seems, “Some people would probably think it's weird. The two of us. Two women. And one of us only halfway human, even...” She pauses, and her eyes finally find mine. She leans close, and I know this is it, this is the place I want to be for the rest of my life, “It doesn't feel weird to me. Not at all. It feels perfect. Does it...does it feel weird to you?”\n\n\nThose green eyes hold mine uncertainly and there’s such vulnerability in the question that I wish I could show her, wish I could make her feel this thing I'm feeling, this thing filling up every cell in my body, until I'm not entirely sure there’s even any room left for me in here anymore. I wish I could show her just how *right* it feels.\n\n\n“No,” I have to settle for telling her, “Not weird. Not even a little.”\n\n\nAnd that's how I learned that seventeen would be a little different for me. Seventeen was the back of a motorcycle, sure, with my arms around someone I loved, and it was also kissing that someone for the first time, and feeling whole and calm and alive. It was being in love in an easy, uncomplicated way that just made sense. It was afternoons spent kissing a girl that made me who I was really meant to be, who made me the best version of myself. For me, seventeen was and always will be *Maps.* \n\n\nI wish more than anything that it could have stayed that way.\n\n",
"It was done at last. the Happiness Plague had been finished. \n\nIt was an airborne pathogen, and its only symptom was to make people happy. all of the time. it was placed in the flu vaccines, and it quickly spread from there. \n\nsoon, most people around the world were happy. those with chronic depression were normal instead. and the world changed. Grandma died? happy. caught your wife cheating on you? happy. some went mad. some even died happy. \n\nas the plague passed, for someone had found a cure, the world sank into a depression for a time. and afterwards... sometimes you could buy happiness on the black market. \n",
"2000 years passed by, and it was a mere blip in the lifetime of the universe. In this blip humanity had expanded across the stars, conquered new horizons, settled them, and moved even further.\n\nHumanity had a thousand chances to die out, but each time, there was something in the spirit of the species that held them together. They got tired of their wars, the further they got, the more they realised the pointlessness of it all. They realized that the only purpose in life was the one they gave to themselves. They realized that no (wo)man was above any other. \n\nThey ended their wars, they made their peace. They became something greater themselves.\n\nThrough the centuries they ended hunger, they ended suffering, they purged the barbaric needs of their ancestors from within. They took all that was good within them, and strengthened it a thousandfold.\n\nThey expanded across the skies, a mere blip in time. They covered galaxies, they lived and they died when they were content to do so. A civilization rose from ashes, learned to love itself and everything around it, and it all happened in a mere blip. \n\nHumanity knew how small it was. It knew how insignificant it was in the face of the infinity lying all around it in all directions. It did not pull them down. It only made them take pride in what they had accomplished, as a blip on a blip.\n\nThey explored the cosmos, and never found another. They did not let this bring them down. Instead, they took the species of their world, and used them to build the garden of life on barren worlds all around them. They knew it would take aeons before the seeds flourished and grew into something wonderful, a companion to share with the stars, but humanity had now also learned patience, and while it waited it worked towards its next adventure.",
"Sarah loved this planet. It was at the rim of her galactic center and relatively unknown. She had needed to request a shuttle to take her there as no teleportation pod orbited the system yet. But it was so *worth* it. Without hesistating, she jumped out of the shuttle parked in the upper atmosphere. \n\n\nThe fall was a rush. She hammered through the colorful clouds, opening the view to the ground. Beautiful lines of lava crisscrossed the surface in mesmerizing patterns. She had once tried to study Geology to figure out how this was possible but had stopped when she realized it did not matter that much to her. What mattered was the heat rising up. She opened her arms and translucent wings opened between them and her body, catching the rising air currents. Sarah *flew*.\n\n\nThe wings were a relatively new invention. They were invented in the Andromeda Cluster as part of a collaboration of *enthusiasts*. In her opinion they were heroes. Sarah dived down, picking up speed and flew a loop followed by a few drills before picking up altitude again. She was free.\n\n\nA *sencilion* appeared before her. She was still amazed that life had developed on the planet but felt a kinship to all beings here. Like her they were fliers. The sencilion flew a small loop followed by a drill. This was.. was it imitating her?\n\n\nSarah performed a quick somersault and watched the winged animal. It did the same. \n\n\n\"Let's see if you can keep up, little one\", Sarah said and *dived*. She twirled through the air like a leaf, swam through the currents like a fish, twirled, spun and looped. The animal followed and kept up with her without any problems. Sarah sped up and sped up again. The sencilion got even faster until they flew side by side. They *danced*.\n\n\nAfter a while, the animal seemed to get impatient and increased speed *again*. Sarah could only laugh, exhausted, and fell back. The sencilion was simply too quick, too good, too... She held her breath. The animal flew and danced through the air like a ghost. It was a dance she could have never managed, a thing of supreme beauty. \n\n\nTears streamed from her face.\n\n\n\"One day, little one\", she whispered to herself, \"One day we will dance your dance together.\"\n\n\nShe spread her arms and let the currents carry her.",
"It’s ridiculous to think how much we used to worry about aliens. Trapped back on our little crib called Earth, our ancestors created media about aliens, fearing them, fighting them, being crushed by them. Even a ‘good’ alien would be balanced out by a ‘bad’ one – There was always a threat out there, somewhere. \n\nI sometimes wish I could go back and tell them that there was nothing to fear. There’s no great evil lurking beyond the edge of the solar system, no sinister intelligence hatching plots to destroy us. \n\nNo, beyond the stars, we met no other life larger than a blade of grass. Do you think that’s sad? That we’re alone? I guess it is, in a way. But out here, far away from the sheltered climes of our ancestral planet, we met something better than another lifeform; We met ourselves. \n\nEach and every solar day saw humanity seeing its best version of itself. Heroes built utopias under shining new suns. Our new golden age has been built not on the back of cheap labour, or of slaves; it has been built by all of us, working as one. Each person is an equal in the eyes of another, and all work for the common good. \n\nIf I did go back, I’d tell them something else. I’d tell them that there are three hundred billion stars in our galaxy alone. In light of all those new suns, our future looks bright. \n",
"\"You are the biggest fool I've ever met,\" she sighed shaking her head. \"This was the single stupidest thing you could have done, it was the single stupidest thing anyone could have done. I think you are actually the stupidest person in the entire universe.\" She continued before taking a breath and running at the other girl, wrapping her arms around her. \"But I'm so glad you're here\". \n\n\"Well, I couldn't let the day pass without something, could I?\" Smiled the other girl. \"It is your birthday, and I want to spend it with you, and no force in the universe was going to stop me.\" \n\n\"Captain Amalie,\" smiled the girl, looking up at her paramour with tears pricking at the edges of her eyes. \"You are the most wonderful creature under the stars\". \n\n\"That title belongs to you alone Da'Ria,\" smiled Amalie as she squeezed the girl before backing off a moment. \"But, what is a birthday without gifts,\" she said as she reached into her docked ship and pulled out a crate. \n\n\"For me?\" gasped Da'Ria, moving closer, her tears shimmering under the artificial light of the research station. \"You really shouldn't have, it is more than enough having you here.\" \n\n\"I insist, open it,\" smiled Amaile as Da'Ria moved her hand over the crate, slowly lifting its lid. Her eyes went wider as she reached in and pulled out a long bottle. \"Galrazian wine, how did you get this, no one has been able to export this since they blockaded,\" started Da'Ria before she looked up at Amaile. \"You didn't\". \n\n\"It was really nothing, their defense grid is nowhere near as fast as I am,\" she smiled, a hint of smugness in her voice. \"Usually anyway,\" she added before pointing to a scorch mark on the bottom of her ship. \n\n\"Oh gosh, so much food in here,\" gasped Da'Ria, pulling out box after box. \"While I am happy to see you, I will admit the sight of fresh food after months on dried rations fills me with a very different kind of desire, how far did you fly to get all of this?\" \n\n\"Oh you know, here and there,\" grinned Amaile, waving her hand dismissively. \"You did always like picnics\". \n\n\"I love picnics,\" smiled Da'Ria, opening a box of fruit and sniffing it. \"I will take you to my dig site. There is a ridge that overlooks the entire ruined city.\" She exclaimed, hugging Amaile close once more. \n\n\"It sounds beautiful,\" nodded Amaile, her hand running through Da'Ria's hair. \n\n\"It is,\" continued Da'Ria, her voice filling with excitement. \"And at dawn you can see the twin suns rise, casting their light over the ruins, it is truly stunning.\" \n\n\"I doubt it holds a candle to you,\" smiled Amaile, leaning down and kissing Da'Ria on the forehead, making the girl blush a deep crimson. \n\n\"The only issue is, it can get quite cold, so we would need to huddle close if we wanted to see the suns,\" giggled Da'Ria coyly. \n\n\"Oh?\" Chuckled Amaile. \"How close?\" \n\n\"As close as two atoms bonding,\" winked Da'Ria before burying her head back into Amalie's chest. \"Oh look at me, I'm like a school girl.\" \n\n\"Nothing wrong with that,\" smiled Amaile. \n\nDa'Ria pulled herself from Amaile's arms and took a deep breath. \"Right, I'll need to get you an archeologist pass and uniform if we want to sneak you into the ruins. I think I know someone who might lend me theirs, it should fit you,\" mumbled Da'Ria, running her eyes up and down Amaile's body. \n\n\"I don't think that will be needed,\" grinned Amaile, causing Da'Ria to blink and shake her head. \n\n\"No, no, they won't let anyone without a pass go to the ruins. Only archaeologists are allowed near them, security is tight!\" Insisted Da'Ria. \n\n\"There is something else in the box, right at the bottom,\" replied Amaile, tilting her head towards the open crate. \n\n\"What do you have planned?\" Asked Da'Ria with confusion, walking over to the box and reaching in, running her hands along the bottom until she found a large brown envelope. \"What is this?\" \n\n\"Open it,\" smiled Amaile. Da'Ria didn't hesitate, slowly pulling the flap of the envelope open, watching as a small bundle of papers slid out. Da'Ria's eyes scanned the paper as she started to read it. \n\n\"This is to certify that Keltraze Amaile has completed the requisite education and field work to obtain the title of Galatic Historical Association Certified Archeologist,\" she read, her eyes going wide as she did. \"Really?\" She gasped, looking up at Amaile. \n\n\"Check the next page,\" nodded Amaile, a few tears coming to her eyes. \n\n\"Dear Ms. Amaile,\" started Da'Ria. \"I have approved your transfer to the Historical Association's archeology department. Upon reading your letter I could not help but agree with you. Working under Da'Ria Mazina is both the logical extension of your thesis work and the best way to further hone your field skills. You will find your transfer notice and the required paperwork attached, please report to Ms. Mazina as soon as is possible.\" \n\nAmaile stood at attention and saluted. \"Captain Mazina,\" she beamed. \"Assistant Amaile ready for duty!\" Da'Ria stood looking for a moment, tears rolling down her cheek. \n\n\"You beautiful fool,\" she sniffed. \"You wonderful, beautiful, amazing fool\". She said taking a deep breath. She reached into the envelope and pulled out a badge, walking over and clipping it to Amaile's chest. \n\n\"Your first task,\" smiled Da'Ria. \"Is to collect the picnic into a pack while I go get a blanket. I shall then take you to the site so you can have an overview and we can see the suns rise.\" \n\n\"Yes, Ma'am.\" Smiled Amaile. However, before she could move Da'Ria pulled her close and kissed her deeply, making Amaile's cheeks turn bright red. ",
"\"It's beautiful, John.\" \n\nAs two of the triplet suns of the Centauri system blazed in the skies above Hawking the fierce red light of Proxima's sunrise bled into the atmosphere and painted the city of Heinlein in a fierce rust. Governor Jonathon Tsin never tired of the strange alien beauty of Proxima's sunrise, as the triplet suns beat down on humanities most ambitious and successful expedition in the stars. \n\nSunrise on earth happened only once, and outside of his brief military career with space force he had slept through most of them. He'd yet to miss a sunrise on Hawking, and that fact had only a little to do with his workload. But if all of the triplets were in the sky, the governor could no longer stand idly by. \n\n\"I'm not sure I'll ever get tired of seeing it myself,\" John answered as he slowly turned away from the window and smiled at his wife, \"reminds me of you.\"\n\nThe slightest blush covered the governess Tsin's cheeks, John's only hint he'd caught Melissa off guard - a favorite hobby of his. He swooped in to peck her lightly on the cheek, and trailed a finger through her hair before sighing lightly into her ear, \"alas, I fear the Unionist Miners will knock down the door with a battering ram if I'm not in my office soon. I'll see you tonight, honey.\"\n\nMelissa playfully shoved him away while calling him any number of names for his 'indecent behavior'. A smile plastered to his lips that not even the Unionists could budge, John stepped out of his private living quarters and into the Governor's office wing. No beating his commute on Earth, that was for sure. \n\nThe clock on his wall chimed 8am Earth time, specifically London - since that time zone tended to correspond relatively well with Proxima's rise. On a planet with three suns there wasn't really any time that was truly night, but the other legs of the trinary were far enough away as to be only aggravatingly bright, whereas Proxima was a true sun to the budding planetary population. \n\nOne hundred twenty seven thousand, give or take a few handfuls for births, deaths, arrivals, and departures. Humanity had come for the stars at long last, and they'd come in impressive force. The spaceport alone could number a few thousand on a busy day, and its relay at Centurion Station in orbit on Hawking's moon could add another few hundred even without an interstellar vessel in dock. \n\nHeinlein City may have been named after a titan of science fiction, but other than its rather obsessive focus on elaborate recycling and robust spaceport facilities it was little differentiated from any city of half a hundred thousand souls on Earth. The rest of Hawking's newest alien species was dispersed across the globe in lower concentrations extracting valuable resources or surveying for future development. \n\nJohn had nearly fifty-seven proposed city locations to go through and rate before the next colony ship departed Earth, and only six years to prepare for the reception of another six digits of colonists. It should have been plenty of time, and maybe without the Mining Unionists it would have been. \n\nBut, for all the paper pushing, it was tough to complain. For a man who grew up in the projects of new York to be stretching his back preparing to push papers on an alien planet four light years from Earth, humanity couldn't be doing too badly. ",
"Space Jesus knew what the fuck was up. \n\nHe zipped around the asteroid belt like an absolute god, and no one could possibly stop him (many had in fact tried.) He looked like a younger version of The Dude, from the goatee to the sandals. His origins were unknown, but it was guessed that he came from somewhere in the western US.\n\nI had just come from Enceladus, Saturn's once ice-dominated moon. Over the past century, it had been converted from a subzero wasteland to a sea avocado islands, but that's a story for a different time. I was rolling past Jupiter's orbit when my sensors picked him up. He was far off but the computer figured we were probably going to hit one another, so I linked our coms to try and fix the situation.\n\n\"Hey brother!\" said the jolly astro-hippie. \"I see that you're on a collision course with my bro-mo-bile. Why don't you dock with me for a minute?\n\nNow from what I had heard, an offer to dock with Space Jesus was an honor of the highest degree. Regardless, the prospect of docking a ship full of precious, expensive avocados with a stranger was quite suspect. I stuttered out the phrase \"uh, totally man... sounds... radical.\"\n\n\"for sure bro my magnets primed and ready ill sees you in five segundos.\"\n\nexactly five seconds later I flew into the wall to my left as I suddenly lurched to the right. Groaning like a shitty engine, I pulled myself up from the ground and made my way to the connection deck. my doors slowly opened to the connection chamber, and Space-bros doors flew open with the force of a thousand suns only to gift my nose with the scent of blunt smoke. I welcomed myself into the humble abode of my asteroidal acquaintance, only to be met with the man himself, sitting on his couch at the wheel, sipping on a Busch Lite. \"Hey broski, want a brewski?\"\n\nThat day I met a man who I could never forget. The dude within that hazy mess of a control center would come to be my true friend. We met every time I made my rounds from Enceladus and enjoyed each others company. I eventually moved jobs but we stayed in contact. He would be the best man at my funeral, where he at one point lit a joint in front of my hyper-conservative parents. Nowadays we still keep in contact but have managed not to see one another in person for nearly two years. Funny enough though, I just arrived at Enceladus on a business trip, where I am writing this from, and I just got a communication from my old friend.\n\n\nSorry if this is all over the place, it is currently 12:30, and I really wanted to write something ridiculous for my first one of these."
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[WP] God is sued for not having wheelchair access to heaven
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"I've always admired the crippled. Getting all that admiration for doing the same sorts of things that the non-crippled do but since it's hard for them they get it. I called the big man in the sky. I explained that the the law had recently been changed and that the bottom line was that he was going to have to install wheelchair access. You know what he's like when he is mad. But he wasn't mad. He said he liked the idea. So there. He wants me to call up his buddy and get a good price. So I'm calling the guy and I can't get through. Typical with these cheap guys. But that's how the big ones are, they didn't get so omnipotent by just throwing away money. I guess. Anyhow. I get a quote and I know right away it's not going to be good. So I do a bit of this and that and we do some kind of write-offs and deductions and boom, we have something that's good. Just need to call up the power that is and have the ol john hancock.\n\nNow this is the tricky part because without a body and being above time and space, how do you get an actual signature? So he usually just does handshake deals. You know he's good for it. I mean if you can't trust by boss who can you trust? \n\nBut he explains all those times he did business with what turned out to be wicked pagans deities. \n\nSo I had him read all the holy books and gave him a whole pile of materials to explain the this and that. \n\nTwo weeks after they put it in, the rail broke and this poor disabled girl fell to her life. \n\n"
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[WP] You are visiting your grandmother in a nursing home when another old woman comes in with a samurai sword. "Gladys" she says. "Mildred" your grandmother says, eyes narrowing. "I believe we have a score to settle."
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"Don't do this to me MILDRED! NOT IN FRONT OF MY CHILD!\n\nThis is what you get you home wrecking, husband snatching, raisin looking scum. \n\nThe time has come. Get ready to be pierced by my sword and hang on it like your role-playing as a kebab. \n\nDon't worry about getting rid of the body kid. I've already scheduled for a university nearby to pick it up for examination. \n\nFinally I'll get my revenge as I lead the class on how not to take apart a body. I'll get to have my own human head to use as a jewelry container after some vacuuming and spring cleaning.",
"My grandmother turned her attention to me. She called me the other day, asking if I was free on Wednesday. I said I was, and now here I am, between a sword swinging lunatic and my beloved Nana.\n\n“I love you dear, now could you do this one favour for me?” Nana said, holding my face in her wrinkly old hands.\n\n“Of course Nana” I said warmly, attempting to ignore Mildred as she shuffled towards us.\n\n“That’s a cheap move Gladys!” Mildred said from the door. “Your grandmother is a cheater, after all these years!”\n\n“You’re a coward!” She said, her voice uncharacteristically proud.\n\n“Bendy” She said, calling my nickname. “After all these years, could you help put me at ease?”\n\n“Of course I will”, I said, ignoring that the decrepit Mildred that was halfway at the room at this point.\n\n“Then help me **kill** this bitch!” She said, her voice furious. She pulled out a rapier, the most expensive I’ve ever seen and passed it to me. “I didn’t pay for your fencing lessons for nothing!”\n\n“This rivalry has been 70-years in the making! Out of my way! Let me kill Gladys!”\n\n“No!” I said, stressed at the idea of someone killing my sweet grandmother.\n\n“Help me kill Mildred, Bendy, and I won’t tell Rose about this” Nana said, bringing my mum into this. I raised my rapier defensively. “I’ll even buy you that new Nintendo!”\n\nMildred took a swing, which I parried extremely easily. I sighed. I guess if I had to make a choice between my grandma and a stranger, I had to take my grandma.\n\nMildred took another swing, which I blocked, leaving her completely open.\n\n“**YES! KILL HER**” I heard Nana said behind me, extraordinarily happy. She even stood up, fists waving victoriously in the air. I sighed. I flicked the glinting rapier at Mildred, sending it whistling at her throat.\n -\nStill new to this. Writing is fun wahoo",
"Gladys shakily pushed herself to her feet, leaning on her grandson's arm for a moment before she settled her weight on a cheap cane that never left her side. \"Come on Mildred, don't be silly. Neither of us have been able to swing a sword for years and while I used to be able to dance circles around you, my hips hurt most of the time now\". She gestured towards the alcove set up with a coffee maker, some stale desserts, and bits of plasticware. \"Do you still take your coffee black with sugar?\"\n\nMildred held the sword up for a few tense moments, eyes darting back and forth from Gladys and her grandson. Finally she dropped the sword with a clang as it tumbled to the linoleum floor. \"My hands don't stop shaking anymore and I think I haven't been able to finish the Shadow Dance since I took the bunch of shrapnel to my legs. I can still feel the steel bits digging around in there. No sugar please, my doctor says I'm pre-diabetic.\"\n\nBobby gawked as two old women went from kill-mode to afternoon social call as if nothing had happened. \"What the fuck is going on grammy?! Who is this? Why does she have a sword?!?!\" A soft hand was suddenly on his cheek and Mildred seemed to just be there, with a small grin on her wrinkled face. \"Watch your mouth son, I don't like cursing. Sit down while the grown-ups talk.\" He found himself sitting on the green-red floral patterned couch that every old person seemed to have in their home. Mildred patted his cheek again and shuffled past to sit in one of the hard plastic chairs sitting empty next to the coffee table. \"He seems like a nice boy Gladys, a little slow but they don't make them like they used to do they?\"\n\n\"Oh Mildred you have no idea. This one couldn't punch his way out of a paper bag with a hose and a machine gun, but he's a good boy.\" Gladys set the small mugs down on the table and joined Mildred at the table. \"But you know, he visits me every week and calls me on every holiday. Not like that good for nothing son of mine. He tried the dance and fell short.\" She pointed with her spoon, as if jabbing at the air with a small sword, \"I called in every favor just to send him away and save some of my reputation.\" A small sigh slipped from her lips, \"Nobody cares to dance anymore, but that might be for the best. We did some shady things Mildred.\"\n\nHer nemesis sipped at the hot coffee and closed her eyes and savored the rich taste. \"You always did make the best coffee. And yes I agree, dancing is an old thing, not for youngsters like your grandson. Send them off to college, they can be doctors or dentists or something. It's a darn sight easier than cleaning blood off of new sheets or setting your own broken bonesh.\" Mildred sipped her coffee again, a deeper gulp this time and her eyelids drooped a bit. \"Shay Gladysh, what a great cup of coffay. Wha whut wut dih ju see wash en eet?\"\n\nGladys sipped her own cup of coffee and smiled, almost to herself as Mildred fell unconscious and dropped face first on to the coffee table. \n\n\"You always were a gullible bitch Mildred.\""
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Came from my handwriting practice whilst half daydreaming - just writing nonsense.
I'll have a go first! :
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"Whaddya mean she's angry? How'd ya piss off *the literal embodiment* of **PEACE**?!"
"Look," Demeter sighed, "I needed someone to look after little Plutus while I did some work..." Themis sighed, too.
"He wasn't wearing a nappy, was he?" Demeter shook her head grimly, grabbing a nearby bucket.
"It'll be great, though. I've got a whole country that needs the fertilizer."
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[WP] "Whaddya mean she's angry? How'd ya piss off the literal embodiment of PEACE?!"
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"Grugnar shrugged his colossal shoulders. Even by Orcish standads he was gargantuan. 8 ft tall, 3 1/2ft wide. His Fore arm probably weighed more than Eldyne did. \"Well Bozz, i dunno. One minute i wuz carving my way thru da armiez. Like we all wuz t' save da kindum.\"\n\n\"Yes yes, i understand Grug. But what im asking is how you specifically pissed off Alissya, the god of peace and love.\"\n\nGrugnar shuffled like a child being told off. \"Well bozz...\" he began.\n\n\"Come on then, spit it out.\"\n\n\"'member dat area in da woosz just south of da stone house.\"\n\n\"The Garden of sancturary south of the kingdom. Yes...oh...you dumb fuck.\"\n\n\"Im sorry bozz i real amz. But i wuz fightin'. Y'know how i git. Breathin' foiah, Choppin' hackin' breakin shit. Y' know. Da usual Orky stuff.\"\n\n",
"Paxanna was legendarily beautiful. In fact, in the legends, The major goddess of Peace was said to steal the breath of men away at the sight of her, and make them weep a hundred tears for every sin of violence they had ever committed. \n\nShe seemed to be the one having trouble breathing now, one godly vein bulging in her forehead, neck flushed and red above her perfect toga. Her brows were furrowed into a perfect V, and divine emotomorphism had caused one of her eyes to grow larger than the other to better express her frustrated fury. \n\nThe cause barely came up to her foot. He had an urbane expression on his face, looking for all the world like he was open to reasonable discussion, but Paxanna could see the insidious glint in his eye. \n\n‘Paravel Markos, you stand accused of terrible violence, inciting it on a daily basis. You – ‘ \n\n‘What about Judir? Hm? God of Justice? He waged war against the Unholy Ones! Don’t see you trying him!’\n\n‘Those were the Unholy Ones, it’s in the name – ‘ \n\n‘Do you have any evidence that they, were, in fact, Unholy?’ \n\n‘I’m a GOD, fool.’ \n\n‘That’s ad hominem.’ \n\nHe went back to smugly tapping his foot, waiting for his next chance to attack. His eternal soul was on trial, and as far as Paxanna could tell, the man was enjoying himself immensely. Despite not technically needing to breathe, she took a deep breath to calm herself. \n\nPaxanna realised her mistake as an insidious grin spread across Paravel’s face. \n\n‘I think you’ve already decided that I’m guilty,’ he said, opening his arms wide and turning to the faceless angels watching the court, ‘and you know that you’d never accept me because of my different beliefs.’ \n\n‘Your beliefs involved a crusade!’ \n\n‘See? You’re not looking at this objectively.’ \n\n‘You SAID it was a crusade!’ \n\n‘You claim to be a holy court of divine impartiality, but really, you only support those who have done good in life. How is that fair?’ \n\n‘It’s – It’s not – ‘ \n\n‘See? You admit you’re not fair! You’ve presented no evidence to my guilt, after all.’ \n\nPaxanna’s brows settled. Her eyes ceased bulging, and turned an icy blue. A smile unfurled on her lips. \n\n‘Here now, Paravel Markos, you will hear the indictments of the damned.’ \n\nA horde of wailing ghosts surrounded the little man, pointing accusing fingers, screaming in voices that chilled the spines of mortals. His crimes were horrible, not in their severity, which was in fact rather mild, but in their multitude; never before had the court of souls seen a man so minorly infuriating. He irritated, incited, annoyed, damaged, destroyed, everyone and everywhere that he ever met or went. He should have been cowering in his boots, fearing the judgement of those from beyond. \n\nYet he stood, with his smug little grin, and pointed an accusatory finger back at Paxanna. \n\n‘These witnesses are biased!’ he grandstanded to the audience as he did it, the ghosts chittering in distaste, the angels as faceless and emotionless as uncarved rock. He didn’t seem to care. \n\n‘They are biased because they hate me!’ And he kept staring at Paxanna, daring her to argue. \n\nThat was it. She’d had enough. She massaged her brow, trying to stifle the cosmic sized headache the man had brought on. \n\n‘Well, Paravel Markos…’ \n\n‘I think you’ve been trying me in bad faith. You should be ashamed.’ \n\n‘That’s enough. You win.’ \n\nHe didn’t even have the decency to look surprised. He just had the same stupid, smug grin, like he was the cleverest person in the world. \n\n‘So nice to see a god willing to listen to logic. Well, I’ll be leaving, then.’ \n\n‘Yes, you will.’ \n\nShe gestured to an angel, who drew a bow of fire and released an arrow of pure light, spearing Markos through the soul itself, damning the creature to the lowest depths of hell. His mouth was a surprised little ‘O’, and she reflected that if someone had just shot him sooner in life, it might not have come to this. \n\n--- \n\n‘So, what did you do to piss off the goddess of Peace?’ asked Geraxin’kuzz, Annihilator of Man and Cursed For All Time. \n\n‘I don’t know,’ said Markos, dressed in the same grubby suit he’d worn in life, ‘I guess she’s just afraid of reasonable debate!’ \n",
"\"MERLIN HOLY FUCK I NEED YOUR HELP\"\n\n\"What? What is it?\"\n\n\"Okay, promise you won't get angry and yell at me\"\n\n\"I will do no such thing\"\n\n\"Alright, well I'll tell you anyway... So you know how when I go outside for more than a couple of days people tend to really want me dead?\"\n\n\"...Well considering your face was on several wanted posters, I'd say that's pretty accurate... Oh my gods who is it this time. You can't possibly get more in trouble than angering the crime syndicate.\"\n\n\"Right, well, you see, it kind of is?\"\n\n\"Who is it?\"\n\n\"...Eirene\" \n\n\"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU PISSED OFF LADY EIRENE. SHE'S LITERALLY THE EMBODIMENT OF PEACE\"\n\n\"So I don't really have much time, she'll be here literally any minute now\"\n\n *thud*\n\n\"WHAT DID YOU DO?\"\n\n\"So, I was at the shrine the other day, offering my peace offerings, praying for the war to be over,\"\n\n\"As one does\"\n\n\"And to my surprise, Eirene appeared, and she was thankful for the offerings I gave, and then I started thinking\"\n\n\"Uh oh\" \n\n\"We began discussing philosophy, things got heated, one thing led to another end I ended up telling her\n\n'Goddess Eirene, you're kind of a really shitty goddess'\nto which she responded less than well, wishing for an explanation. \n\nI said 'Well, there hasn't really been a lot of peace lately'\n\n'How is that my fault'\n\n'I mean, you are the goddess of peace, you're kind of blowing it on this one'\n\n 'Okay smart ass, what would you do differently?'\n'Just kill the emperor!'\n'That's a terrible idea!'\n'I mean, he's clearly the one at fault for starting all of this.'\n'He was recommended to go to war by several people'\n'Kill them too!'\n'No! That's going to lead to a lot of people dying'\n'A lot of people have already died. \n\n*thud*\n\n\"Okay okay I'll hurry up\"\n\n'All I'm saying is that if you just kill the people responsible for war, you won't have war'\n\n'THAT'S LITERALLY THE REASON PEOPLE GO TO WAR'\n\nAnd then my smart-ass said the worst possible thing I could have,\n\n'Yeah, no reason people like Aphrodite more. At least she does shit'\"\n\n\"Oh no\" Merlin said\n\n*thud*\n\n\"Yeah, saying that the shrine got burned down is putting it lightly\"\n\n\"Well why are you coming to me?\" \"Okay yeah that's the other thing, I might have accidentally told her I'm Merlin\"\n\n*THUD*\n\n\"Oh my lord\" Merlin sighed, \"Must be a Monday\"\n\nFirst time posting here, so let me know what you liked/didn't like!"
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[WP] You are part of a time travel experiment in 2020, and end up being flung a thousand years into the future. When you arrive, a familiar face is there to greet you, who says they took "the long way".
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"\"This is really it,\" Erin thought as she stepped into the time machine. All farewells had been dealt with, all goodbyes had been said. Her heart racing in her chest, she closed her eyes. As she was embraced by a blinding light, she couldn't help but smile and wonder what she might be greeted by.\n\nAn instant later, it was over. Slightly dizzy and disoriented, she carefully stepped out of the time machine. Well, that was underwhelming, she thought. Her eyes were still adjusting, and the dark surroundings weren't helping with that.\n\n\"Hi.\"\n\nErin let out a silent scream and almost fell to the floor. While she had hoped to see a friendly face, she hadn't expected the first thing she would experience to be the cheerful voice of her research assistant, Lamar. He looked almost the same, just a few years older.\n\n\"So much for a thousand years,\" she said. Even though her mission of travelling to the year 3020 had evidently failed, she had successfully travelled through time, which she judged to still be a sizeable achievement.\n\nLamar gave her a puzzled look at first, then visibly understood what she meant. \"You mean this?\" he asked, pointing to his face, smiling. \"No, it's literally been exactly a thousand years since you vanished in that machine.\"\n\nSlowly, Erin looked around the room. Nothing appeared to have been used in decades, with thick layers of dust and cobwebs covering everything. Except the time machine. If she hadn't known any better, she'd have thought it was brand new. Turning back to Lamar, she struggled for words. \"Wha-... how... wh-...\" she stammered, until finally, she managed to utter the one word that concisely encapsulated her disposition towards her general situation. \"Huh?\"\n\nA hearty laugh erupted from Lamar, one Erin had heard many times before. This small piece of familiarity supplied her with a modicum of ease, lessening her tension and anxiety. \"Yes, I'm sure this is a lot to take in,\" he said. \"Do you remember Project Lazarus?\"\n\n\"Of course,\" she answered after a brief pause. Project Lazarus, a plan to upload human consciousness to a storage device, functionally creating immortality, was in its early phases when she had last heard about it. A thousand years ago. \"Congratulations. How long did it take?\"\n\n\"12 years. We had a few breakthroughs shortly after you left. Due to reasons involving technical limitations, at the time, I was the only one to be... transferred.\" Now speaking in a sombre tone, the cheerfulness had left his voice. \"We hoped we could solve those problems. We couldn't. So I became the first and last digital mind, as the media called me.\"\n\n\"What... can you do?\"\n\n\"I have a few bodies like this in different parts of the country, modelled after me when the procedure was done. I can switch between them, and I could even control all at once, though I prefer to inhabit only one at a time. Makes me feel...\" He didn't finish his sentence, instead staring into blank space.\n\nNot wanting to push that topic further, she asked, \"Where is everyone else?\"\n\nAfter a few seconds, he looked back at her. \"Come, I'll tell you on the way,\" he said as he started walking towards the elevator. The research complex they were in was several stories underground, thus getting back to the surface took its time. After they went inside the dimly lit cabin and Lamar pushed the big \"0\", he took a deep breath. \"I'll be blunt. Humanity is no more.\"\n\nErin had prepared for this situation. Humans surviving for another thousand years? At the rate things were going in 2020, while not completely out of the question, it would have been naïve not to take this outcome into consideration. Still, the news did put a dent in her otherwise steadily normalising mood. \"What happened?\" she asked bleakly.\n\n\"War, pestilence, famine, natural disasters,\" he said equally as bleakly. \"The usual and expected,\" he added with a weary smile.\n\n\"Yeah.\" Erin let out an honest laugh, smiling for the first time since she left the time machine. It wasn't the weight of what she had just been told making her mad. It wasn't that she had missed the death of the human race, sparking an episode of existential dread. Rather, she felt liberated. No desperate mission to save the last remnants of human civilisation, no burden of being the saviour, and certainly no post-apocalyptic madness. All in all, this was actually one of the more positive outcomes she and her colleagues had theorised.\n\nSuddenly, she remembered Lamar and the life he must have lived. \"When did the last ones die, if you don't mind my asking?\"\n\n\"About 700 years ago.\"\n\n\"Must've been boring, being all by yourself,\" she said, trying to sound as compassionate as possible without appearing to pity Lamar.\n\nTo Erin's surprise, a roguish smile crossed Lamar's lips. \"Many things can happen during 700 years, you know?\" He put his hand on her shoulder. \"I never said I didn't have any visitors.\"\n\nPerfectly timed, the elevator stopped and opened its door. Soft sunlight gleamed into the small cabin, warming Erin. As they stepped outside, Erin, once again, was able to find the one word exactly describing what was currently going through her head. \"Huh?\"",
" Major Jackson strapped himself into the machine, his hands sweaty. He flicked a few switches on the control panel, caught his breath, and said shakily \" Jackson reporting all systems are go, chronoplane is ready to launch. \n \n As the countdown began, he leaned back in his seat, dying from the anxiety. He fervently wished protocol allowed him to bring his phone, he could play a game, or clear out his email. The program had kept him off the internet for about 4 days now, and he was sure it was piling up. \n \n He closed his eyes and clenched, then unclenched his jaw as the countdown reached zero. Blue white light penetrated his eyelids, and it felt as if a \"force\" or something hit him HARD in the stomach, knocking his breath out. It just felt like that thought, he realized, he was breathing fine. \n \n\n He realized everything was still, and slowly opened his eyes. The crowd went wild. \"He's heeeeere\" shouted a man through some kind of amplification \" Major Earl Jackson of the ancient US of A airforce has ARRIVED!\" \n \n Jackson opened his eyes a little more. The chronoplane sat atop a gleaming white pedestal. It appeared to be in a gorgeous grassy field speckled with wildflowers, and also speckled with thousands of screaming people. \n \n \"Time travel has worked, all must celebrate\" crowed the announcer guy, who was clad in a technicolor nightmare of a one-piece suit. \n \"Here is our HEEE-RO\" he intoned, \" and now Major Jackson will recieve the greatest honor a citizen can, the platinum prime medallion!\" \n \n \"Here comes the QUEEEEN to pin it on him\" crowed the loudly dressed announcer. The crowd began to chant \"All hail the queen, all hail the queen\", as a pulsating blue circle descended from the heavens. \n \n The announcer screamed \"Welcome her majesty, QUEEN ALEXA!\" The spinning circle of light throbbed a deep green and Jackson heard a voice like thunder echo through his mind . . .\n\n \n\"YOU HAVE TWO HUNDRED NOTIFICATIONS\"\n"
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Then you saw him/her. His/her horse galloped gracefully toward your house, they looked like the models those fake country singers used in their music videos. “Hi there” his/her voice was smooth like silk. Their eyes looked into yours and immediately your heart caught fire. This was the start of the most amazing summer of your life...
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[WP] “I don’t know why my parents decided to buy this farm out here in bumfuck nowhere anyways.” You said as you kicked the dirt under your feet.
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"What started as another boring day on this god awful farm had turned into the most wonderful day of my life.\n\nHe was honestly a dream come true. Every possible little detail about him screamed soulmate. From his light blue eyes, to the stubble on his perfectly formed chin, down to his.. slightly open shirt showing just the right amount of skin. \n\nHe introduced himself, and his voice sounded like the rustle of a cool summers breeze, gentle and embracing, and I was lost in it. This perfect man with his perfect smile and his perfect everything. _Something something neighbour beside our farm._ All I could do was smile and nod.\n\nI'm not sure when I managed to get up on his horse, or how long my hands had been tightly wrapped around his waist, but time just seemed to stand still when I was with him. Riding around trails, sitting under a tree in the meadow, slowly watching the sun start to set.\n\nI just closed my eyes for a second, wanting to savor this very moment forever.\n\n\n\n\n\nAnd that's when I heard my parents sobbing,\n\n\"Sorry Jess. I guess you aren't coming back to us this time. We love and miss you very much.\"\n\n\n\n------\n*Obligatory first time poster, long time lurker. Sorry for the formatting as I'm writing on phone. Critics welcome!*\n\n"
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[WP] The most ferocious, feared species in the galaxy has encountered humanity... And instantly decides to make allies of us. Why? No one gives scritches like a human.
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"The cold smooth walls and floor gave Kestra continuous sores. As the war carved on between her own race and the new race discovered half a generation ago. Kestra herself was a young child when the publications revealed a rich fertile planet, unfortunately inhabited by a bipedal primitive species. They had ill-left their own planet so naturally, the natural plan of action was to attack the richest most powerful nation as a symbol of their might.\n\nKestral remember the horror on her face and her peers as even though their own technology surpassed that of the natives, the invasion was costly. The governments issued a near immediate response that stunned our own forces. It seemed even the civilian populations were heavily armed and ready to fight back. Nearly the first wave was wiped out, but a stronghold was made. A secondary force was able to be established in the desert areas, which was where Kestra was commanding.\n\nKestra remembered the heavy casualties mounting she discussed with her other generals before a small militia attacked. The 'humans' employed their own powdered ignition weapons along with captured energy blasters from her own race. The camp was overrun, the infantry fled, and to her worst nightmare, she was captured. The humans, to her disbelief, were shorter than her, but that was inconsequential as metal braces were affixed to her wrists and chains to her hocks. After blinding flashing lights and a spell of what she could only believe to be drug-induced hallucinations, she woke up in a cell with a primitive soft pad she could only presume was a mattress.\n\nA scream of her own kind woke her from her bittersweet memories. She ambled over to the bars and stared at some team clad in white robes, not unlike the clothing of the engineers from her own world. A female of the human likeness appeared with a thick metal pad, something Kestra could only assume was used to take notes. Despite near lifelong training she had in the military, the losses she suffered with a stone face, the calm demeanor she held while being walked to a human prisoner's vehicle, she reached her brown-furred slender arm through the iron bars, pleading, regrettably allowing the tears to fall. She pleaded, \"Please, I implore you. Let me see someone else. Anyone else...\" That was it. She broke. And reaching her arm out through the bars only made the female step back. Kestra drew her arm back and rested against the bars, holding back her tears. She could never have believed that the possibility of the invasion force being lost entirely to exterminate the humans. And yet, she was at the mercy of her captors, who would most likely, in their savagery. She imagined the worst torture her own tribes came up with and imagined them executed on her. As her eyes closed, she felt a weird sensation on her head. Her legs stretched out as she experienced the most comfort she had in annuis. Warmth radiated through her as if she was carried away from her cell, and her mind drifted to the warm temperate jungles. The sensation stopped and her mind was brought back to the cell. She looked up and saw the female doctor had been... scratching her head. She couldn't imagine that such a thing was possible.\n\nShe was ashamed, but given the alternative option, the future would have been a loss. Through mastery of deception to the humans, she convinced her own confederation to call off the invasion. And through an interpreter, she convinced the humans the invasion was by an insurgent force that was met with 'swift' corrections forces from the confederacy itself. A few battles between their own forces was mostly enough to convince the human militia the invasion was not a consensus of her people. She guessed the world was eager to an end of the war anyway. And being the leading effort to establish peace, Kestra was intent on creating embassies. In exchange for protection of the planet Earth from any of the enemies of Kestra's people, her own race would receive from the human race what no other race could yield...\n\nScritching...",
"They were like something out of a bad sci-fi horror film. If you haven't seen one, then a description doesn't quite do them justice. They're not tall, not big or imposing. They're lithe things, slim. They trigger all the same predatory warnings as hunters do on Earth- if one stalks you, even whilst playing, you'll get shivers down your spine, no doubt about that. Their homeworld is fairly warm, so they don't have mounds of big shaggy fur, but what they do have. Who boy. They're pretty sure that they were bioengineered, because that stuff is practically glass. It turns them almost invisible- you'd never know they were there unless they wanted you to.\n\nYet, despite all of that, here I am, a human, working as a psychologist in a mixed station with them. The vaccum that is space whirls past us 'outside,' showing the stars and planets of the galaxy twinkling in the distance. From this office, you'd never suspect that we'd be about to enter lightspeed, but such were things, I supposed. \"Now, hold on, remember that these things get a bit funny.\" As ship psychologist, it was my job to ensure that those more junior to spacetravel had a comfortable time, especially when the Hartcruft engine kicked in and we were catapulted into the strange sub-realm that was needed in order to breach the so-called universal constant that was *c.*\n\nThe individual in front of me was perhaps one of the most interesting cases I'd seen. He had braids- done up with rubber bands, an item that they'd stolen from us and given a lot more significance to than we could have ever guessed, (they appreciated the practicallity of them,) ribbon and paracord. He was making himself deliberatley visible to me right now, but he was clearly terrified. \"Shh, shh... It's Ok. Here, c'mere.\" I indicated him forward, and scooted my armchair forward as well. \"It's alright big guy. It's gonna be fine.\" I gave him a quick scratch behind the ear, trying to sooth him.\n\n\"I shouldn't be like this. It's just a bit of travelling.\" He looked around, slightly shamefaced, not really protesting to the scritches.\n\n\"Look, everyone reacts a different way, it's fine... It's fine...\" Another set of scratches, the apex predator melting in my arms. \"See? There we go. Nothing to worry about.\" The environment outside had gone pitch black as we moved faster than light itself. \"Not so bad, huh?\""
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[WP] You are destined to always reincarnate with all your knowledge intact.
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"*Reincarnation, eh?*\n\nSome people believe in it, and some people don't. I never really thought about it myself, not until I died at the ripe ol age of 22, my broken body laying on the street as my soul hovered above until darkness overtook me and I awoke again in the form of Percy, my neighbors ugly old pug. \n\nFor awhile I thought that maybe I had merely passed out, that this was some form of fevered or pained dream brought on by the trauma my body endured. I lay in the corner of The Johnson's kitchen, on a small but plush bed that stunk of dog piss. \n\nI answered when they called for \"Percy\" my pudgy body making it's way slowly to whoever beckoned me. I ate the disgusting food they put out, all the while thinking I would eventually wake up from this dream. \n\nAdmittedly, it wasn't until what seemed like months later, but must have only been days, that I realized I wasn't having some weird dream. I was sitting in the living room on the lap of Mr. Johnson when the news came on and several of my classmates, most of whom didn't ever give me the time of day, cried over my tragic death and spewing fake memories of fun times all for their fifteen minutes of fame. \n\nI was disgusted, I was distraught. I didn't eat for days afterwards, which was hell on my tiny body. The pug's body wasn't exactly nimble to begin with, but with the lack of nutrients, I could tell that it wouldn't be long before this body died.\n\nPart of me felt bad, I knew they would mourn the loss of their beloved \"Percy\", but then I figured their percy had actually died several days ago, perhaps a lot less horrible of a death. \n\nMy hope was that when this body died, my soul would reincarnate and my memories and all of the knowledge I carry would be gone. \n\nThe next day I woke up as a turtle and I thought some deity must be messing with me. Not only was I cursed to move terribly slow, but I was also destined to live hundreds of years, and eat nasty tasting plants. \n\nAll while remembering all of my friends, my family, and every dream I ever had as a young, adventurous man.\n\n"
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[WP] You stop aging once you turn 18 so that once you meet your soulmate, both of you can grow old together. Your soulmate keeps killing you so that they can stay immortal.
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"The knife slid up the femoral artery, toward the groin area. She noted the usual instinctual squeezing protective twitch of the thighs, as the victim looked down. That always gets their attention, she had learned from experience. His eyes looked at her with the stark recognition of what she had done as the blood began pooling on the floor.\n\nPeople usually looked at you with incomprehension if you hurt them fatally, at least in countries unaccustomed to violence. You had to force their attention and, with men at least, there was an obvious area to target. She gripped his chin and watch his eyes as life slowly started to fade, knowing it wouldn't satisfy. \n\nStaring at the screen he stared at the top headline, \"Fourth Victim of the Bleeder Found\". He was finally in the right city, moving from country to country wasn't easy without supporting income but he had time to practice. He checked the karmic police tracker on his phone, they were always looking for him to complete the cycle.\n\nWhen reincarnation and fate had accidentally been proven to be true with the discovery of advanced quantum computing, the first thing (naturally), was the creation of soul-mate dating sites. Even worse was the creation of the BOX algorithm by the reincarnation of Schrödinger, which irreversibly caused people to stop aging past 18 until they found their soulmate. \n\nWalking down the street she was glad to see all the activity of the karmic police on the dark-net blog for her area. They would be looking for him and with all the other karmic criminals in the area, the authorities would be distracted. If a morally challenged person met their soulmate, they were generally became far worse with their equal in tow.\n\nThere were many ways to exploit the karmic system once it had been discovered, but hers was the reason the international force had been founded. As long as she didn't die once, she could continuously kill her soulmate to prevent herself from aging till she met him again. \n\nHe got off the bus as he made the \"plains clothes\" watching him, they followed. They wanted to use him as bait, he remembered reading on the email, which had so intrigued him at the beginning. The first thing that had shook him from his ennui in while. \n\nThey had an personalized algorithm to search for his profile apparently, the concealed earbuds explained as they taught him to look for threats and keep on the move. Her cult, eager to please, had found him quicker than they could through their own digital resources and kept him one step ahead. Until now.\n\nShe watched the agents follow Him up the stairwell as they closed in on their target. They were getting better, they only had 20 teams for other potential targets this time. She vaulted up the railing and quickly got through to the second floor. This apartment was empty her followers assured her as she made her way to the entrance, hacking the lock on the door, allowing her access to the corridor. \n\nHe ran past her and their eyes met, they widened as he felt his heart swell, a feeling she was now long familiar. The world moved in slow motion and seemed to lighten as with two quick motions she killed the two agents with her knife. The blood spray making a glistening arch as she gracefully twirled. The agents eyes held the recognition of their death but as usual the knowledge she sought, which only appeared in the moments of death, eluded her.\n\n\"You found me\" he said. \"Yes\", she replied. She slid the knife under his unresistant sternum as he held onto her shoulders. He felt her arms wrap around his hips as he felt the world begin to fade, his listlessness and melancholy that he had always sought to escape finally dissipate. He could rest, he looked at her in wonder for this gift that only she could give when he looked in her eyes. \n\nAs she stared into those fading eyes she saw what she was looking for, love. \"Until we meet again\".",
"\"I met Rebecca back in 7th grade. She was still wearing braces then. But I knew, back then, that I loved her, back when I had yet the comprehensive knowledge of this emotion and when all the boys teased me about it.\"\n\nI stopped for a moment, placing the newly-brewed coffee cup in front of the sudden visitor.\n\n\"If I knew you'd come, I would have prepared some tea.\" - I said.\n\n\"It's fine. I've learned to love the taste of many different things. Please continue.\"\n\n\"Right, so me and Rebecca, we were not exactly dating, but we were very close. Close enough that, if I might put it, 'dating' would be an understatement. We were like lovers, I supposed. Teenage lovers, the purest kind.\"\n\nShe listened with keen interest.\n\n\"Anyway, once we turned 18, two things became certain: we would get married; and, we realized that we were not soulmates. Devastated? Not really. More like disappointed. After all, both of our parents never found their soulmates. Statistically, finding the one person out of seven billions is outright impossible. Whatever designed this system, if there was any, must have put in some extra algorithms, 'cause you see, some people do find their soulmates. He arrived one morning when they bumped into each other. Cliche, huh? The next thing you know, this came off my finger.\"\n\nI pulled a diamond ring out of my pocket and put it on the table.\n\nShe said nothing, sipping on her coffee.\n\n\"Then, like a cruel joke, you show up.\"\n\n\"I take that you've forseen my arrival.\" - her crimson lips left a red mark on the cup.\n\n\"Visions, dreams, nightmares,... you call it. I never did told Rebecca about it. Should've done it when she still cared.\"\n\nI stood up abruptly, she stared with a curious gaze.\n\n\"What're you doing?\"\n\n\"I don't want to mess this place up. Besides, you'll need to dispose of me. Where do you have in mind?\"\n\nShe smiled.\n\n\"Follow me.\"\n\nIt was twilight then. We drove our way into the receeding skyline. We ended up on a sandy shore of the river. Hidden inside bushes, I wonder how long it would be until somebody found me. It was fortunate, though, that Rebecca bore no child of mine, for I would hate for it to live a fatherless live.\n\n\"So,\" - I asked - \"what now? You shoot me? Stab me?\"\n\n\"Don't be so hasty,\" - she sat on the car's hood, lit up a cigarette - \"Let me tell you a story.\"\n\nThe smoke merged into the night, smelling like history.\n\n\"Oh, come on,\" - she moved to one side of the hood, gesturing me to sit on the other - \"You are my soulmate, after all.\"\n\nI refused the cigarette she offered.\n\n\"Once upon a time,\" - she said - \"there was a pair of lovers so in love with each other that they only lived for that love of their. At least, that what one of them thought.\"\n\nThe moon shone. Her reflection in the water sparkled like the mirage of a dream.\n\n\"One day, the man died from sickness, leaving the woman in pain. She would have killed herself, but she didn't, because in her heart there was hope. She would wait for him, no matter how long it took. Thirty years later, she found his reincarnation. A happy ending, no?\"\n\n\"No.\" - I said.\n\nObviously.\n\n\"Yeah.\" - she lit another cigarette - \"he was still her soulmate, yes, but his memory of the past life was a blur. The more time the woman spent with her new soulmate only made her long for the old one. She longed for a love that had gone to the grave, a love that the reincarnation could not provide. She had memories, wonderful memories that her lover's inability to recognize any of them only deepened her wound. So she killed the reincarnation.\"\n\nBy then, the smoke mixed in with the cold fog, producing a ghastly substance.\n\n\"And the woman, for the love she held in her heart, for the hope that kept her from the movement of time, waited once more. Another failure. She waited and waited, but each and every reincarnation only brought her closer to despair. Until one particular morning,...\"\n\nShe pulled out a gun and slide it toward me before walking into the water. The crystalize liquid swallowed her to the waist.\n\n\"That morning, she woke up, and to her horror, she didn't remember her love too well anymore. The memories that had kept her going was shrouded by time's revenge. She was tired, so tired of living forever for something that never come twice.\"\n\nShe threw the cigarette's butt into the water, the last spark disappeared into depth.\n\n\"Have you ever wondered,\" - she asked - \"that out of so many people, I always find you?\"\n\n\"Because I'm your soulmate.\" - I blurted out.\n\nI didn't see it, but I'm sure she was smiling. A bitter smile.\n\n\"Let's make a deal,\" - she said - \"Once one of us has lived and loved enough, the other would pull the trigger, and wait.\"\n\nI said nothing.\n\n\"It makes sense. We will always spend the best years of our lives together. You and I, we can be forever young until time's end.\"\n\nI said nothing.\n\nShe said, as if begging.\n\n\"Reset me, please.\"\n",
"Shot, stabbed, poisoned, hanged, you name it. By my count, he'd killed me 83 times. \"The Weeping Man,\" they called him. It's a terrible thing, to kill the one you love, and he always cried as he put me down. It wrenched my heart the first time it happened, but that could also have been the knife he jammed into my chest.\n\nMy continued deaths had proved a few axioms that I never lived long enough to explain to other people. One, human sexuality was not as straightforward as people seemed to think. I had been men, I had been women, and he'd been my soulmate every time. It didn't matter how I presented, the attraction transcended that. Two, reincarnation existed. That probably should have been number one. I retained some sense memories of my previous lives, though I could remember nothing clearly. I knew what the Weeping Man looked like, since he had retained his youthfulness these past 1500 years or so. And I knew I'd always find him somehow, though it usually took until my 18th birthday, at least.\n\nI had tried and failed a few times to kill him before he killed me, but I had been unsuccessful each time. This time would be different, though. I was going to end the Weeping Man's killing spree if it was the last thing I did... and it more than likely would be. I had been training this time. The last ten years, in anything I could get my hands on. Judo, capoeira, as much handgun training as I could get as a minor. I was going to be prepared.\n\nI was out at an amusement park the day it happened. Disembarking from the coaster, I saw him waiting in line. He was like a photocopy of the man I'd last seen 18 years ago, and I was prepared. I pulled the bill of my baseball cap low over my eyes, felt for the small knife in my front jacket pocket, and wrapped my fingers tightly around its hilt. It was time.\n\nAs I passed him, recognition lit up his eyes for the instant he spent alive before my knife flashed into his neck. He gurgled, and tears welled up in his eyes. The crowd queueing with him recoiled in shock and horror at the grisly murder I'd just committed, and some began to scream. I held his gaze as the life drained from his body. He smiled as the tears fell from his eyes.\n\nI had finally done it. I fled from the scene as quickly as I could. Hopefully his death would convince him he didn't have to kill me anymore; that he'd be reincarnated and find me again. \n\nBut I suppose I'd find out in 18 years."
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[WP] Everyone on earth suddenly stops aging
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"\"Mommy, I want ice cream!\" \n\nAngela sighed. She sat at the kitchen table with her coffee mug and tried her best to ignore the little nagging voice. 5min, just give me 5min!\n\n\"Mommy!\" The voice became louder and the small head appeared next to her. The curls were more than a bit frizzy, in dire need of a good wash. \"Mommy, can we play?\" \"Not now, please. Remember? Mommy needs her coffee in the morning.\"\n\nThe 4year old pouted and began jumping on the sofa. Angela turned her head away. She gave up enforcing rules that aren't of a life-and-death nature long ago.\n\nBut than he sang Wheels on the Bus; loud. \"Jake, stop!! If you wake the baby, I'll loose my temper!\" He stopped, for now, began playing with his Lego. There was a faint whining from the next room and Angela got up. Slowly, as if there was a ton of bricks weighing her shoulders down. \n\nThankfully, the baby girl sleeping in her bed had just turn around. Angela took the chance, quietly closed the door and leaned against the wall, soaking in the moments of silence.\n\nHer thoughts wandered far back in time. When Walter was still here. They had been so excited for the new baby. When Anni was born, they felt complete as a family.\n\nAnd then, IT happened. It wasn't obvious at first, but after the third check up with the pediatrician, getting the exact same measures for weight and height as the times before, they knew something wasn't right. And they weren't the only ones. Parents were the first to notice what would later be called the Anti-aging-curse. \n\nBut only when the first lady had been pregnant for 20 months straight, the government deigned to announce the truth. There had been an accident in one of their laboratories and an anti aging drug turned out the be a highly contagious virus that soon had infected every human being on earth. \n\nAngela let herself sink to ground and watched the sleeping baby. Walter had loved Anni so much, but he was long gone. She didn't blame him. He just couldn't take it anymore, all the diapers, all the screaming at night. It took her a while, but she got over it.\n\nShe even met someone new after some years had passed. Jayne introduced her to a whole new side of herself she didn't even know existed. Jayne was beautiful and far more patient with Jake and her own son Roger than Angela could ever be. \n\nJayne tried everything to get them to be nice to each other. But they raked each other over the coals all the time; jealous of toys, attention and food. After 10 years, she gave up and moved out. Something died in Angela that day. Something the Anti-aging-curse couldn't reach.\n\nTears rolled over Angelas face and she gripped her arms tightly, in a desperate attempt to keep herself from crying out loud. It was no good. The baby woke up from her sobbing and began to cry.\n\nWhen will it end? 127 years, 2 months and 15 days taking care of a newborn never sleeping more than 2 hours and a 4year old throwing tantrums every day. In 22 hours, I can at least go to work again, she thought.\n\n__________________\n\nThanks for reading!",
"So comes the ten thousandth year of this new age. While some party, revelling in the eternity of their existence, others of us are plagued by it. It’s my son’s 10,001st birthday. \n\nThe lucky kids made it to 8 or 9. Their brains are developed enough that many grow into mature individuals trapped in a small body, but their brains are still plastic enough that they can pick up ideas quickly. They could adapt well enough to the new society. Such was not the case for all. \n\nI still remember the first years, before humanity began to realize that aging itself had vanished. Those of us with infants were the first to notice. The doctors would tell us things we should be noticing in the development of our children, but they refused to manifest. While many of us panicked at first, soon enough grim acceptance set in.\n\nBy my son’s 5th birthday, everybody in the world knew what was happening, but none of us knew what to feel. How could we? The relief of being able to dodge death felt so small to the ever present concern - that of our children. The game had changed. All parents are willing to sacrifice for their children, but so much for so long? Forever?\n\nSome infanticides were reported in coming years. So many were openly horrified by even the thought of such an act. Kill your own child? How could such a idea be even comprehended by a person? Were they all just emotionless psychopaths? What could drive somebody to such a state?\n\nTen years of no sleep, that’s what.\n\nMany gave their children to homes were they would be cared for. Even the matrons would lose it eventually. It was inevitable. Nobody can care for 100 infants for a thousand years and not lose their minds. Another brave volunteer would always step up though, until they themselves could bear it no longer. \n\nSo here I am. Today I’ve baked my ten-thousandth cake, lit my ten-thousandth candle, and sung my ten-thousandth happy birthday to my son, never to grow old enough to understand the world. He will never play tag at the playground. He will never learn to ride a bike. He will never have a first kiss. He will never graduate college. I’ve tried so hard to accept it, my destiny, *his* destiny, but I can’t. It hurts too much, even after so long.\n\nBut I made a promise never to leave him. I love this tiny human with all of my being. Sometimes I get angry at him, and I want to give up, but I never have. And I never will.\n\nNext year I’ll bake another cake, light another candle, and sing another happy birthday song to my only son, and I’ll keep on loving him just as hard as I did the day before, but I won’t dance in the streets celebrating this curse of eternity. I’ll grimly fantasize the life I could have had before, and continue deeper into the infinite dawn.\n"
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[WP] The pitchfork-wielding mob approaches your home, demanding to see the abomination.
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"\"Stay back!\" The doctor yelled from the window as the unruly mob neared \"I'll open fire!\" One near the front of the angry crowd called back \"Send out the abomination and we'll let you live!\" A shot whizzed by his ear and over the heads of the mob, most ducked and some ran but after a moment when no more shots came the stood back up and resumed yelling. The Doctor shouted \"She is not an abomination! She's my little girl! My princess! My baby!\" The general howling of the mob died down a little as their impromptu leader hushed them \"She died Francis! Stone cold! What you have their is just a shell and a hideous one at that, brought back by dark means and not meant to be!\" Harsh, salty tears ran down the old surgeons face as he responded \"Their is life in her, I see it in her eyes, a light and a park of recognition!\" Quickly the mob leader snapped back \"You see what you want to! Your sorrow has clouded your once sharp mind!..\" He paused and then said more calmly \"She needs to be put to rest, this is no existence for any being. I saw her when she got loose, when she...\" A lump in his throat stole his words and someone in the crowd exclaimed \"When she squished those kiddies!\" The leader waved a hand for quiet \"She is not your girl Francis, I knew Samantha and that creature is not her.\" The crowd was quite quiet now and they began to hear two things, the sobbing of the doctor and the groaning coming from deeper within the house. The doctor let out a cry \"I can't let he go! First her mother, than Jake. She is all I have left!\" The leader rebutted \"You've already lost her! She died that night in the storm, you just won't face it!\" All they heard from the doctor was a rueful yell. Some long moments passed and then the distraught father said \"Just you, not the rest, I'll let you in.\" The leader put down the sickle he had brought with him \"You're making the right choice, I'm coming in.\"....",
"He’d known they’d come, eventually. It had started as a dark whisper amongst the trees, a feverish shuffling of unnatural echoes growing steadily louder. Soon enough, the crackling lights of torches came into view. Looking out from his bedroom window, Mike was dimly reminded of fireflies and peaceful childhood nights out with his father. The thought made him laugh, for his father was long dead, and the mob’s torches were certainly no fireflies.\n\nHe also knew what they’d come for. They’d come for her. His pride and joy, his love of loves, his everything. They wanted to take her away. They wanted to kill her. They called her “The Abomination” simply because her skin was of a different hue. They had spat at her in the streets, had refused to serve her in their stores; in short, over the past two years, they had served upon her every possible indignity within the capacity of their small minds to produce. But that was evidently not enough. For here they were, at night, outside his farm, torches blazing, pitchforks gleaming, intent upon the kill, primal, base, and… doomed.\n\nReaching down to his right, he felt through the darkness for something cool and reassuring, something that would be the undoing of his assailants. Unable to find it immediately, he whispered under his breath.\n\nWhoosh!\n\nHis wand darted silently through the air from where it had fallen on the floor, coming to rest in the palm of his hand. Massaging it through his fingers, he felt his worries melt away.\n\n“Let’s make this quick” he thought to himself.\n\nPointing his wand towards the window, he whispered again, whereupon the window was thrown open with a violent yet noiseless jerk. Summoning the requisite inner clarity, he walked towards the open portal. The moon was full that night, and as he reached the window ledge his eyes momentarily reflected it’s light, and, exactly then, as if on cue, he took flight.\n\nSoon enough, the mob completed its progress through the trees, across the field, and up to the house. From his vantage point far above, their torches seemed to trace a flickering, fiery halo around the house. And then they called for her.\n\n“We want The Abomination. Bring us The Abomination! Hand her over now, or we’ll burn both of you alive!”\n\nThe moment was critical, and yet he hesitated, hoping that they might find it within themselves to stop at the eleventh hour. But stop they did not. The first torch went flying through the air, and landed upon the roof with a dull thud amongst a scatter of sparks. But then, everything stopped. Everything and everyone, that is, except for the wizard watching from above.\n\nMost humans are victims of time, struggling against its passage until finally, age necessitates death. But the wizard was no ordinary human, and had learnt long ago that time is fluid thing that could be, at least temporarily, dammed.\n\nAnd so it was that he descended from the heights, alighting before the foremost villains. He gazed at their faces contorted in grimaces of thoughtless rage, sweat beading from the wrinkles in their dirty brows. And as he looked, he began to cry… \n\nOf course, he could have killed them all. In his younger, more energetic, and less experienced days, their demise would have been instant and painless. But now, wizened by the passage of years and the rising and setting of suns and moons, he merely turned his back to them, and walked inside the house. Ascending the stairs and entering the bedroom, he looked to the bed, and there she was. “The Abomination” herself, surely the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, lying peacefully asleep. Stooping down beside her, he placed a delicate kiss upon her forehead, and they both disappeared.\n\nTheir house did burn down that night, and the murderous villagers returned, at length, to their homes, satisfied in a job well done. But something strange happened the next morning. A small sparrow happened to spot the burnt hulk of their home from his roost in the forest, and flew over for a closer look. It was hot and sooty, and the sparrow was sad, for the owners had given him seeds every winter. And then, just as he was preparing to fly away, he spotted something quite alarming out of the corner of his eye: a single, clawed and hairy hand feeling its way out of the charred rubble, followed by the rest of its unnatural and awful body. It was all to much for the sparrow, who rapidly lost consciousness, and descended to the ground in an uncontrolled feathery spiral. He wouldn’t wake up for at least a day and a half, but when he did, the word was out: an Abomination was on the loose, with a taste for Human flesh!",
"Seeing as Catherine lived in an abandoned copse of dead trees off the edge of the village, it was odd that it was so bright near her home at this time of night. Curious, the middle aged housewife drew back the curtains of her window and looked outside to see something that really shouldn't be so commonplace to her anymore. \n\n\"Will ye daft cunts stop showin' up at me door?\" \n\nThe man at the front of the mob held his torch higher. In response, the many people behind him held theirs up as well. In their other hands, the lot of them held pitchforks as well. Maybe one of them were farmers. Catherine had no idea why they had so many pitchforks. \n\n\"We are here for the abomination, Catherine. It would do ye well to comply.\" \n\nCatherine simply placed her hands on her hips. Her face scrunched into a scowl as she regarded the mob before her. \"I'm not complyin' to shiet, ye bunch a cornwhacking ninnies.\" She then moved to slam her door, but then came back to tower over the people on her front lawn. \"And for the last time, me daughter isn't a damn abomination!\" \n\nThe crowd didn't seem impressed. \"You lie, witch!\" \n\n\"I'm as much a witch as you are good in bed, Fred!\" Fred promptly shut up. \n\n\"Then explain her grotesque figure!\" another man in the back screamed. \n\n\"She's just a little ugly, ye daft cunt!\" Catherine yelled. \"You should know all about it, ye married an ugly one!\" \n\nThat man in the back shut up as well. \n\n\"Any one else?\" No one responded. \"Good. Now get yer asses off me lawn!\" Catherine then made to close her door. Just as it was fully closed, she hesitated, then turned back to the mob. \"And fer the last time, stop gathering before me damn house in the middle of the night! It's facking 2018.\" ",
"\"Now, fellas, I know Miriam ain't lookin' as good as she used to, but callin' her an abomination is just mean.\" \n\n\"She's dead, Jeb.\" The man at the front of the mob said. It was the corner store owner, Owen. \n\n\"She ain't never been more alive. I ain't seen her run around the yard like this in years.\" \n\n\"No, I mean, she died last week. Now she's an undead corpse walkin' the Earth. It ain't right, Jeb. Look at her. She's eating a chicken.\" Owen pointed behind Jeb. A woman with rotting flesh in a sundress, was eating a live hen. The chicken was furiously pecking at her face.\n\n\"Well, who in the Hell don't like themselves some good chicken?!\" Jeb declared.\n\n\"Not when it's still peckin'!\" A voice from the back yelled.\n\n\"Well...it's our chickens! What we doin' with them is our business. It ain't like we hurtin' any of y'all.\"\n\n\"She ain't the Henley's dog yesterday.\" Owen said.\n\n\"Now, you can't prove that.\" Jeb heard Miriam heave. He turned toward her in time to see a red collar fall out of her mouth. \"...um.\" \n\nOwen eyed him condescendingly. \"Look, Jeb, we get it. When Miriam passed you got upset and consulted with evil powers to bring her back. We let you greave in your own way. Sure, we thought it was weird when all of a sudden you started reading a bunch of books bound in human flesh-\"\n\n\"I didn't even know you COULD read, Jeb,\" old woman Annette said, while cradling her ax.\n\n\"The point is,\" Owen continued. \"This isn't really your wife. It's just her body with some evil kinda spirit in it. It's terrorizing the town. It's just animals now, but how long until she attacks a person?\"\n\n\"She done ate paster Dave!\" Loretta shouted , waving a rolling pin. Owen glared at her.\n\n\"Loretta,\" Owen said in a harsh tone. \"Don't you think you should have told someone that? Had I known she'd ate the preacher, I probably could've LED with that?!\" \n\n\"I don't have to listen to this! I'm leavin'!\" Loretta said and stormed. Just as she had left the crowd the rain opened up on the small town folk. The torches went out, and the crowd's feet started to sink into mud.\n\n\"Hey, Owen,\" the local mailman said. \"I...I think I'mma gonna call it quits. I see ya tomorrow.\"\n\nAs he started to walk away the crowd started to murmur and shamble back to their homes. Owen took one last flabbergasted look at Jeb, before walking off.\n\nJeb turns to look at Miriam.\n\n\"All right now honey. Let's get you inside. 'Sides, the wheel is on.\" Together they walked into their home.\n",
"Fire. \n\nThose sons of bitches brought fire.\n\nThe torches illuminate the hundreds of faces of the furious mob slowly nearing our home.\n\n\"Oh my god,\" Martha whispers, tears welling up in her eyes. \"Close the blinds, Jerry.\" \n\n\"What's that gonna do, honey?\" I ask, turning my eyes off of the raging crowd. \"You think that closing the blinds is gonna somehow stop those people?\"\n\nMartha glares at me then walks away. \n\nI go back to looking out the window, seeing the faces of neighbors, friends and countless others marching towards the house, some chanting, some angrily throwing up their pitchforks, others just staring straight ahead, determined. They are now only about fifty feet away, showing no signs of stopping. \n\nI have to do something. After getting one more look at the mob, I run to my bedroom, get on a pair of boots, then make my way to the front door. \n\n\"Where the hell are you going?\" Martha asks, grabbing my arm.\n\n\"Outside. The best thing I can do is try to reason with them.\"\n\n\"Pitchforks!\" She cries. \"They have pitchforks and torches!\" \n\nI turn away from my wife, open the door, and walk outside. \n\nThe crowd erupts at the sight of me. \n\nI continue walking, making my way down the steps of the porch and plant myself in front of our home. The mob now stands only feet away from me. I recognize so many of the faces. Paul and Simon, two of my poker buddies, stand at the front of the pack. Sarah, my barber, stares me dead in the eyes, wielding a butcher's knife. One of my church friends Stanley and his wife, Catarina, hold torches, appearing so out of place from their normal selves. All of these people are friends. How could they do this?\n\nI raise my hand, signaling to the mob that I wish to speak. They quiet. \n\n\"What do you want?\" I ask.\n\n\"Come on, Jerry,\" Simon says, not looking me in the eyes. \"You know why we're here.\" \n\nI do, unfortunately, and they must have seen it in my face because the crowd erupts again. \n\nStanley hobbles a few steps closer to me. \"Jerry, we know you're housing those outcast babies in your house.\"\n\n\"I don't know what you're talking about,\" I say, staring the old man in the eyes. \n\n\"You've got to understand why they can't be raised in this society, man,\" Paul says. \"Those babies are not right and we can't let 'em reproduce more like 'em. Just give 'em to us.\"\n\nThe crowd gets pumped up by this speech, some starting to chant phrases while others hold their torches and weapons in the air. \n\n\"The rules of this town just aren't right,\" I say to the raging mob, hoping they hear me. \"Just because they are born with a defect doesn't mean they should be left for dead.\" \n\nThe people stop for a second, taking in what I had to say, then continue their yelling. \n\nThere is no way that I can reason with these people. I turn around and storm into the house, seeing a sobbing Martha sitting next to the fireplace. I disregard my wife, rushing to the basement. Once I get down the stairs, I run to the six cradles and see the babies crying because of all of the raucous outside. I pick up little Sammy, missing both legs, and try to comfort him before taking the baby upstairs. On my way to the door, Martha notices the baby in my arms and lets out a shriek. \n\n\"Jerry, what the hell are you doing?\" She cries.\n\nI continue outside, baby in my arms. When the crowd sees Sammy, they go silent. \n\n\"Here!\" I scream. \"This is one of them, missing both legs.\"\n\nThe mob stares at me in awe. \n\n\"Well, you said you wanted them.\" I say, presenting the poor baby. \"I guess since they've got something wrong with them, you've just gotta kill them.\"\n\nI look them all in the eyes. \n\n\"Stanley, you wanna do the honors?\" I ask, holding out the child. \n\nThe old man looks down at the ground, nodding his head no. \n\n\"Simon, Paul, how about you guys?\"\n\n\"Um, well,\" Paul says quietly, \"I don't think that I can.\"\n\n\"Oh, what about you, Sarah? You've even got a knife to do the job.\"\n\nThe lady drops her knife and looks away, not saying a word.\n\n\"Anyone?\" I yell. \"Who is going to kill the baby? I thought that this is what you came for.\" \n\nPeople start dropping their weapons, refusing to make eye contact with me. \n\n\"I've got five more downstairs, too,\" I say to the cowering crowd.\n\nStanley and his wife step forward.\n\n\"Hey, we're gonna go,\" he says. \"Look, I'm really sorry abou-\"\n\n\"Just go,\" I tell the old man. \n\nSlowly, the crowd disperses and people start to leave, heads hanging low.\n\nI take a seat in the rocking chair on the front porch, rocking a finally calm Sammy in my arms. \n\nWe watch the mob retreat.\n\n\n\n",
"\"Hello Terry!\" Geoffrey smiled as he opened the door. \"Haven't seen you in a while.\" \nTerry, butcher and mob leader, smiled awkwardly, twiddling with the cleaver handle in his belt. \"Hello Geoff. Didn't realise it was you again.\" \n\"Well, you know me. Can't keep a body down.\" Geoffrey leaned around the butcher to wave at the mob lining the garden path. \"Hello again! Mrs Mack, how's the marrow growing going?\" \nHalf the mob waved cheerily back, torches weaving patterns in the evening air. A little old lady with a rusty scythe taller than her (the notable Mrs Mack) pumped the blade in the air a few times before responding \"Fine, thank you Geoffrey. Got a winner this year.\" \n\"You win every year, Mrs Mack.\" Geoffrey laughed. \"And I see you've some new people.\" \n \nThe other half of the mob, having stared aghast at the casual attitude of their fellow villagers, turned to the object of their visit. After some muttering, one was nudged forward to join Terry and Geoffrey on the porch. \n\"Umm, Foul Demon!\" The man shouted, pointing at Geoffrey. \"We good people have come to stop your evil deeds!\" He fumbled in a bag, before drawing out a crucifix and thrusting it forward. \"Have at thee, foul hellspawn!\" \nThe rest of the mob nodded approvingly. *This* was how a righteous group of villagers was supposed to behave. \n \nGeoff leaned in and examined the cross, causing the man to flinch back. \"Isn't that the one from the Church? Father Brown'll have your head if you don't put it back.\" Turning away from the nonplussed man, he turned back to Terry. \"Look, what's this all about.\" \nTerry frowned at him. \"The Abomination, Geoff.\" \n\"The... oh, you mean Frank.\" Geoffrey smiled. \"He's not an abomination.\" \nTerry's frown deepened. \"The dead stay dead, Geoff. You know the rules.\" \n\"But he's happy!\" Geoffrey snapped his fingers and a lumbering shape loomed behind him, stepping into the torchlight. \"Aren't you Frank?\" \n\"Meuurgh!\" The pallid figure nodded, causing the newer mob members to cross themselves. Several screamed as they learned why that was a bad idea while holding burning sticks. \nTerry, ignoring them, frowned. \"That's beside the point. Put him back.\" \n\"Oh, alright.\" Geoffrey clicked his fingers. \"Back you go, Frank.\" The figure lumbered slowly off towards the graveyard. Its shuffle sped up as Mrs Mack intercepted and began smacking it. \n\"Wandering around at your age Frank! Have you no shame? With no thought to your widow?\" \n\"Meuurgh!\" Frank muttered apologetically as it disappeared into the night, wifely berations chasing him into the gloom. \n \nTerry turned back to Geoffrey. \"And no more of that. Still on for Tuesday?\" \n\"Yeah, alright.\" Geoffrey nodded. \"Though the team will be one short.\" He sighed. \"Ah, well.\" Sweeping himself up, he shot into the sky on a plume of black smoke. \n \nTerry turned to the mob, clapping his hands together. \"Right, that's it over with. Torches in the bucket by the gate, borrowed implements in the shed. *Neatly* this time, thank you. See you at the next one.\""
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[WP] One morning, you wake up to see Death, standing next to your bed. "Guess what? I've been given a holiday for a week, and you're the cruelest person alive, so I'm assigning you as Death for a week. Here's my scythe. I'm off!"
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"A cold, bony hand slowly shook me awake. I opened my eyes, and saw a skull staring at me with glowing eyes. \n\n\"Get up!\" it shouted, \"I don't have all day!\"\n\nMy breathe hitched, and my heart skipped a beat. I would have screamed, but I was too afraid to even blink.\n\nThe Skeletal figure laughed, and pointed a bony finger at me -\n\n\"You don't recognize me? Come on! I'm the grim reaper himself! Now, I now this may-\"\n\nI couldn't take it anymore. A piercing scream broke through the air as I leaped out of bed and crawled to the corner of the room. I huddled into a tight ball and refused to move, the fear gripping my heart like a shackle. \n\nI felt the air getting colder around me -\n\n\"I can't have that now - I should've known.\"\n\nSuddenly, a wave of tranquility washed over me as the fear drained out of my system. I looked up at the figure draped in black who had referred to himself as 'The Grim Reaper' with a calm demeanor -\n\n\"What do you want?\"\n\n\"Finally! Now, this may sound a bit strange, but I need you to take over as me - death - for the week. After a literal eternity of soul reaping, I finally get a break. But of course, someone needs to take over the job, so why not have the most cruel human in the world do it?\"\n\nThe figure pulled a scythe out of literal thin air and handed it to me.\n\nI took it from him. The cold metal rod felt oddly comforting against my skin. I held it closer to my body, almost hugging it against me. \n\nDeath laughed before snapping his fingers. A long parchment list fell into my lap, and I felt heavy robes draping over my skin. \n\n\"Now, what else? Oh, yeah! Whatever you do, never stop soul reaping! If the souls aren't harvested in time, they'll slowly leak back into the world, which will cause a lot of problems for me - and your kind.\"\n\nA black portal shimmered into existence next to death. He waved at me and stepped through the portal, which closed right behind him, leaving me all alone, with dozens of unanswered questions clouding my thoughts. \n\nI thought back on what he said, and on his grim warning. Whatever it was, I didn't want to cause trouble.\n\nI squeezed the scythe harder, and looked at the ever-growing list of names in my lap. I grabbed the list and looked at the first name. \n\nAustin Madione\n\nIn an instant, I was transported to his location. He was laying on a small bed, surrounded by family whose names hovered over their heads, displaying their names, ages, and when they were to die.\n\nBut I wasn't there for them. I was there for Austin.\n\nHe stared at me with sad eyes, silently begging me to finish the job. No screaming. No pleading. Just waiting for the cold mantel of death. \n\nWithout a word, I lifted the scythe and brought it down straight through his heart. He wheezed and flashed his eyes open momentarily before his soul left his body in a flash of light. \n \nCold shivers of delight ran through me. I felt ecstatic, better than I had ever before. I felt alive! A huge grin spread across my face as I was transported to the next victim on the list\n\nThis was going to be fun!"
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[wp]every day you wake up in a different body, switching races, genders even species. Its been years since you where the same two days in a row. You begin to forget what you where.
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"You know, I don’t even remember what I looked like before? I don’t remember how I acted, what my personality was like, I can’t even tell you if I was human before. What I do know is that I always wondered what life would be like if I was different. At least, I think I did. All I remember is wanting to change. It started with small changes, and it just spiraled from there. I’ve been shy, outgoing, strong, weak, pale, tan, female, male, you name it. I’ve been so many different animals, I don’t think I could name them all. I’m not even sure I know what the species were, the animal just caught my eye one day while I was out, so I changed into it. I prefer flying ones, like birds. I feel so much freer and it’s a faster way to travel. There’s nothing like being up in the air. Nothing can reach you there."
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[WP] Hades, Anubis, Hel, and various other underworld deities gather to discuss "the Lucifer problem."
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"\"This... This cannot go on.\" Ogbunabali scowled, his heavy Nigerian accent confusing a few at the table. The very one-sided table. In fact, almost every single death-associated deity was sat on one side of the table, and a very sheepish man was sat on the other side. 'He who killed at night,' was actually a rather pleasant man, since he mostly slayed those who had committed crimes. His face was scarred heavily, but in a traditional, designed way, and he wore dress that wouldn't look unfamiliar in a National Geographic. \"We are all being associated with you, even though,\" he paused frequently for emphasis. \"Even though we are not the same.\"\n\n\"Guys, guys, guys... Gals too. I'm sure we can sort this out! Right?\" Lucifer tugged on a shoulder awkwardly, a loose flowing chiton allowing his wings to spread freely. \"Perhaps this is all a misunderstanding.\"\n\n**\"That is exactly what this is!\"** Anubis, as befitting his form, practically barked out his words. \"It is a misunderstanding! I am you, only I did not betray my own lord like you did!\" The jackal-headed god spat down on the ground next to his seat. \"I judge the good and the bad, and I make sure they go where they deserve to go.\n\n\"I'll admit, I didn't focus a large amount on... Outward appearances.\" Hel let loose a breath of icy-cold air. \"But I served a purpose. Those who failed to earn the right to live in Valhalla came to me, as was their due. Now my necessary job is being maligned by... *You.*\"\n\n\"Us spirits too... Our message is corrupted. We are turned into monsters. For the crime of associating with death.\" The Banshee's eyes, red from crying, stared out from underneath a black veil. \n\n\"Well, that's not fair. Not *all* of you guys are innocent, nice people... Look at Camazotz! He's hard-\"\n\n\"NONE OF THE AZTEC GODS ARE GOOD PEOPLE. THEY'RE *AZTECS!*\" \n\n\"Hush Thanatos. Be polite.\" Hades held a finger up the younger god's outburst, before standing up, bony fingers splayed against the table. \"We can't influence the world any more. We don't have enough believers. However, we demand recompensation for the slander you've caused against our good names for the past two millennia.\"\n\n\"You can't just demand recompensation. There has to be due process. A court of law!\" Lucifer gesticulated with his arms wildly, now looking frantic. Anubis spoke up again, clearing his throat.\n\n\"I think you'll find the Final Arbiter is sitting right here. You can't worm your way out of this one. We're demanding, effective from your Fall, every single soul in your domain, divided according to region, ethnicity, method of death, and any other determining factors in entering our realms. Understood?\"\n\n\"Effective from the Fall? You wa- Oh no. No no no no no. Big G will *kill* me for that if I lose every soul in Hell. You guys, please, no, I'll-\" Lucifer looked around wildly. \n\n\"I'm sorry. You forced our hand.\" The bat-faced visage of Camazotz leered down from his perch in the rafters of the building, and he let out a deathly cackle. \n\n\"It's been a pleasure Lucifer. Now, who's underworld will you be coming to?\"\n\n---\n\n*Hi! I'm TearOpenTheVault, better known as Maxim Westhart. I'm an aspiring writer of short stories, and would love to hear your feedback and any advice you have for me!*"
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[WP]You just found out your English teacher is a timetraveler. Unfortunately she is also pointing a gun at your head "I'm sorry, but I'm doing it for the world"
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"“You’ve got to be kidding me.”\n\n“No, I’m afraid not.” She said, the gun in her hand steady and sure. “I’m dead serious.”\n\n“Can’t we talk about this? I promise I won’t tell anyone about the time travel, okay? I promise.”\n\nShe sighed. “If only or were that simple. No, you’re my target. You’re the reason I came back in time, to kill you. It’s not something I want to do, though sure that comes as little comfort to you, but it has to be done.” She took a deep breath, steadying her nerve as she readied to fire. \n\n“Wait, why? What did I do? I mean, what will I do? I’m not a bad guy, I swear, maybe you have the wrong person.”\n\nShe shook her head, not taking her eyes off me. “I suppose you deserve to at least know. It’s not what you do, exactly, it’s your girlfriend, and later wife, Zen.”\n\n“I don’t have a girlfriend.” I pointed out, for the first time feeling that this was a positive thing. \n\n“Not yet, but next semester you’ll meet her, you’ll start dating, fall in love, and eventually get married. You’ll stay by her side as she secretly develops biological weapons, engenders super viruses in the basement of your home. You’ll have no idea that she is responsible for wiping out more then two thirds of the world’s population. That’s why, when the UN special task force breaks into your house, you’ll jump in front of her, and take the bullet that would have ended her... thanks to you, she had just enough time to release the Doomsday Strain, bringing the world population down to a few thousand people.”\n\n“Uh, okay, then why don’t you take her out instead?”\n\n“It’s not that simple. She’s too important to the time line. Like it or not, she was a genius. She found a solution to the overpopulation issues facing the world, and her lab notes alone put the medical world ahead by decades. Fighting to find a cure to her viruses revolutionized the immunization field. Reverse engineering her work on chemical weapons lead to advancements nobody had even dreamed of. No, she’s too important to history, a sad truth, but one we have to live with... at least, one of us will.”\n\n“Now wait, why not just go to the day before that UN raid, and take her out then?”\n\n“Because time travel has rules. It’s a dangerous technology, and even when being used to alter the past, we have to keep a low profile. If the world’s most dangerous terrorist is taken out by an unknown assassin while the authorities close in, people will notice. If one guy in his English 101 class gets shot and killed years before all that, nobody will be the wiser.”\n\n“Now hang on, can’t I just... not date her? Or, I don’t know, not jump in front of the bullet? I mean, now that I know...”\n\n“I wish I could believe you, but think about what you’re saying? Can you really promise me that when the time comes you won’t hesitate to let them kill her, the love of your life? That’s why I came back to this point in time, to spare you the pain of making that choice, of living through those dark times. It’s the least I could do.”\n\n“You’ll forgive me if I don’t see it that way.”\n\nShe grinned. “I will. Like I said, I’m sorry, but for the world, you can not have a future.” \n\nI could tell her resolve had hardened. She was ready to do it. “Wait, wait, if I can’t have a future, do I have to be dead?”\n\n“What?”\n\n“Well, maybe instead of killing me, you could take me with you, back to the future. I’ll be out of the timeline, and I won’t be dead.” I shrugged. “What do you think?”\n\nShe furrowed her brow. “Well I never thought of that.”\n\n“Seriously?” I nearly shouted. “You were about to blow my head off, you hadn’t considered the alternatives?”\n\n“Well, of course I had, just... not that one.” I waited a tense moment as she pondered this option. “Okay.”\n\n“Okay?”\n\nShe took her phone out of her pocket, tapped the screen a few times, and a shimmering blue portal opened up behind her. “Come on, lets go.”\n\n“I... don’t have time to pack a few-?“\n\nShe pointed the gun at me again. “No, we don’t have time for that.”\n\n“Okay.” I stood up, slowly. “Okay. Doesn’t seem fair, but better than being dead.” I walked carefully though the portal, relief washing over me. I’d really dodged a bullet there, somewhat literally. I’d avoided death, and now I was on my way to a new life, a new future, a new me."
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Basically you're the inventor of firearms/guns/cannons in a fantasy world. I thought about writing this idea myself elsewhere but I want to see your take on it.
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[WP] You are in a fantasy world with swords and magic. You are the one who comes up with the idea of cutting a hollow pipe, pouring an explosive material in the back, and using the pressure to send a metallic projectile out from the front. Explain your invention to your kingdom's military.
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"\"For too long, magic has been the deciding force in war.\"\n\nI pace back and forth in front of my creation. The Cannon.\n\n\"And for good reason. What good are swords and arrows when the enemy can rain fire on us or turn our dead into soldiers for their side?\"\n\nBehind me, my assistants load the device dramatically, making sure it's ready to fire just as a reach the right moment in my speech.\n\n\"But magic has it's limits, and despite their power magicians are still exceptionally mortal.\"\n\nThe assistants light the fuse, and scurry to safety before this thing fires.\n\n\"And so, I believe I have a way to even the playing field.\"\n\nRight on cue, 5 pounds of steel goes hurtling out of the canon, reducing the heavy stone ritual circle in the distance to gravel.\n\n\"If the king wants to wage war against magic, I have just the weapon to wage it with.\"",
"Magic was for the gifted. Nobles attuned to the spirits, or elements... Whatever they called it. \n\nI was not that lucky. \n\nI was a child of a soldier and a seamstress. Days were harsh but we were happy. We were fortunate enough to get by on the quilts sewn by my mother and meagre salary my father obtained from the nobles. \n\nI was not a good child, always curious. Always asking and wondering. Why? Why do things fall? Why is the sun so bright? Why do ants always move in a line. Why is it only nobles can cast magic. Why can't I cast magic. I remember the spankings, the indignation,the sorrow. \n\nThe library by the town hall was my sanctuary. It was only accessible to the upper echelon of society but thankfully Mr Alfred took pity on the soot covered boy with eyes that sparkled curiosity. I spent my youth aiding my parents gathering firewood, spending nights secretly stashing spare firewood just to obtain more time in the library. \n\n As the head librarian Mr Alfred was in charge of the ins-and-outs of the facility. In return for helping him arrange and keeping the place clean he taught me how to read and write. This allowed me to earn money as a scribe, which allowed me to purchase firewood which then granted me even more time in the library to learn. \n\nHe too was a commoner but was determined to plunge into the world of magic. The tomes surrounding spells were of little interest to me, for I had long given up on that pursuit. \n\nHowever, I never forgot his lessons on history and the world. That this land actually revolved around the sun. And that you could measure distance using the difference of the length of shadows. Arithmetic, geometry and alchemy were his forte, but sadly he squandered his days attempting to understand magic. He believed that magic was found in the soul. Or blood, or maybe both. He bemoaned on his chances to understand it. Maybe one day he would be able to observe the inner workings of a noble. \n\nPerhaps I would have the chance. The nobles did nothing when the beasts came. Men granted power and grace from the gods. Yet, they were the first to flee when the Beastmen attacked. The town I loved was razed together with everything I loved and cared for. \n\nWhat use is magic when you cannot even protect your own damn city. No. I will have my revenge. And I have found a way. \n",
"I hadn't even produced the sample but already Inquisitor Edric had the sickening sneer of a man who was ready to be unimpressed, and even more ready to dole out the punishment one could expect for wasting his time.\n\n\"A powder you say? Made of metals?\"\n\nHis finger lazily tracked across the page of scrawled notes before him. The movement hand paused its arc at the end of a sentence, his eyes rising to meet mine only long enough to offer another look of delighted contempt as he continued.\n\n\"...and an unenchanted powder at that. As could be prepared by any plough-bearing farmer with not even a day's study in the College of the Divines. You say the Gods would deign to bury such power in the mountains where any heathen could well take advantage? Leif, my son, you are straying dreadfully close to heresy.\"\n\nI wasn't quite able to hold the Inquisitor's burrrowing gaze but I'd recited my ideas often enough to put them forth now, even with the old man's threat hanging over my head.\n\n\"No, my lord I wouldn't say any man could prepare this substance - it is quite a dangerous and exacting process - and with due respect to your counsel it takes a considerable effort even with the powder to create a pipe strong enough to stand the blast and small enough to carry with you. Furthermore, with respect to your reading of the Divine's will, perhaps it is your piety that has delivered my idea to you now. Perhaps-\"\n\n\"You'd do yourself good not to ramble any further of things you don't know, tinker,\" Edric snarled. \"I don't care for your sycophantic attempts to coddle my ego, I care for results. Your letters said the weapon could equip men of no study with a great and powerful fire, so how is this to work then if they cannot create the powder or pipes themselves? I fail to see how this will do anything other than lead more hapless lambs to the White One's slaughter and if we are speaking freely, tinker, I grow increasingly wary of sending men to their deaths with little else but a prayer to protect them.\"\n\n\"Ah, yessir, I...\" I took a breath. No need to be courtly. The weapon was good. Edric clearly had a need. \n\n\"Tinker Leif?\"\n\n\"Sorry, my lord, as you say - if we are speaking freely - I think you're missing the point. Yes, admitted, manufacturing the powder and pipes would take expertise but no more than could be easily requisitioned from the smiths' and alchemists' guilds. The potential is in the ability for anyone to use the weapon. No years of divination training. Not even a summer learning to use a bow - give a man or woman this pipe and they can kill anyone in front of them in a second. Provided they have one good eye and hands to grip it.\"\n\n\"I have an example, do you have a pageboy?\"\n\nThe Inquisitor looked bemused, \"Yes, but he's barely into his tenth winter I don't see how you're going to ready him for the field. It's the men on the front-\"\n\n\"My lord, please, this is an extreme example but I believe necessary.\"\n\nEdric sighed, for the briefest moment the condecension in his wrinkled face lifted and I saw the face of a man who was beyond the end of his tether. Tired. Old. Too old for another war. \"Fetch the boy then Tismut,\" he waved a hand at an attending guard.\n\nIn the few minutes I had before the boy arrived I pulled the pipe out of my bag and began explaining to the Inquisitor how it all worked. Powder in, projectile in (it had to be metal, a wooden shaft wouldn't do and ideally as wide as the pipe), then a bit of fire into a small hole at the base (which was a simple charm for most veteran soldiers, and torches could help those without). He continued to doubt the power of an unenchanted alchemical substance, but got lost enough in the technical details that I was able to dodge his harsher critiques.\n\nThe Inquisitor took a great deal more interest when I offered he cast a ward on the plate-armoured manequin the guards had fetched to assist with the demonstration. He accepted the offer without a second thought, and immediately began pulling thick strands of viscous white out of the Liminal, weaving them into a bubble around the practice dummy.\n\nBy the time the pageboy arrived Inquisitor Edric was ready to see the weapon in action.\n\nI approached the boy, who seemed confused and intimidated by the whole affair. \"Hey son, what's your name there?\"\n\nThe child looked up at me, eyes wide. \n\n\"It's alright boy, I'm a tinker not a soldier - you don't have to impress me. Leif was what my mother called me. How about you?\"\n\n\"Uh, Darus, sir. Darus of Ridgetown.\"\n\n\"That's a good name, a strong name,\" I smiled at him and handed him the pipe, pointing its open end towards the practice dummy. \n\n\"I'm not going to lie to you Darus, this is probably going to hurt and at the very least it will be mighty unpleasant, but it's important you don't close your eyes and aim only at the mannequin.\"\n\n\"Sir, it's not going to kill me is it?\"\n\n\"No, no Darus. You'll be fine. Just a bit of a jolt is all.\"\n\n\"Father told me not to trust a tinker's new inventions.\" He looked away from the mannequin for a half second before I pointed his head back in the right direction and raised his arms back to the correct firing position.\n\n\"Well, that's true in most cases, but this time the Inquisitor needs to see if it works, and we can't really let him down just because your father was being overprotective now, can we?\"\n\n\"I guess not.\"\n\n\"No, great. We're on the same page then. Ready?\"\n\n\"For what?\"\n\nI sparked a small flame between my forefinger and thumb and put it against the back of the pipe. \n\n\"FIRE!\"\n\nThe child was immediately knocked back to the ground and most of the guards and onlookers threw their hands to their eyes and ears in shock as the explosion ripped through the previously quiet hall. \n\nOnly myself and Edric watched as the clump of metal screeched through the air and contacted the ward Edric had created. The mass barely halted as it met the white strands of energy, snapping them like a knife onto fiddle strings - causing them to lash out in all directions before rippling into non-existence. The plate provided even less of a challenge - the ball rending a gaping hole in the chestpeice.\n\nEveryone stood silent in shock, some looking to the projectile now embedded in the hall's stone wall and a couple running to the pageboy dust him off and bring him back to his feet.\n\nI grabbed a hold of myself again.\n\n\"And this is the prototype.\" I felt relief, for perhaps the first time that whole day, as I saw Edric's face contort in a mixture of confusion and excitement.\n\n\"How many can you have ready to distribute by Spring?\"\n\n\"Give me a month with Her Majesty's scholars to perfect the design, and another month for production and I should be able to have 200 units ready for the frontlines.\"\n\n\"You have six weeks and I need 500 units with whatever resources you require. I don't need perfection, you can work on that when the Divines bless us with time we don't have at present. I'll see you in a cart to Centrus as soon as you can pack your things.\"\n\nI wasn't in a position to argue. \"Yes my lord. As you ask.\"\n\n\"I don't ask Leif, I command. There's four thousand men and their families resting on this. Don't fuck it up.\"\n\nI was taken aback by the Inquisitor's bluntness. \"Uh, um, yessir.\"\n\nI quickly began packing my things and walked up to the throne to retrieve my notes from the Inquisitor's side table.\n\nAs I came close he grabbed me by the shoulder and pulled me close, so that only I could hear his anxious whisper.\n\n\"Tinker, don't think I've ignored the fact you've created something which could arm a battallion of children. Have you even considered what you've brought upon us?\"\n\nI stopped breathing. I didn't have a response. I wanted to say if not me then one of our enemies would have eventually uncovered this path. I wanted to say that we would not stoop to those levels, we would never endanger children like that. I wanted to say this was always only for our protection. I didn't say any of those things.\n\n\"We'll see each other in Hell tinker. Let's hope your invention prolongs that meeting as far as possible.\"\n\nI took my notes and tried not to run as I exited the hall."
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[WP] Keyboard Cat lies on his deathbed and must pass on the title of keyboard cat to his heir. Since he doesn't have one, somebody unexpected comes through the door to his hospital room.
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"Oscar was never one for noises, and his home seemed to have a lot of them. Shouting humans, clamorous medical gear, and noisy machines all endeavoured to ruin his naps. On top of that, everyone always wanted to touch him. As any cat will tell you, this is utterly unacceptable under any but the most niche of circumstances, unique to each cat. In Oscar's case, he was particularly uninterested in being touched by blubbering humans. \n\nIt was because of this collection of reasons that Oscar had sought out his current nap spot at the feet of an elderly man who seemed far too belabored with simply breathing to manage to sit up and disturb him. In fact, Oscar tended to prioritize such bedmates. There was a calming stillness about them that was soothing to Oscar. It was also due to this collection of reasons that Oscar decided to relocate when the elderly man's rhythmic wheezing ceased and the machine's plaintive wail began. Soon there would be shouting, then crying, then grabby hands trying to press him into damp faces. Not good at all.\n\nSo he left, gracefully leaping from his place on the bed, down onto the tile floor, and scampering out the door with nary a sound. Through the corridor he prowled, looking for a place that seemed cozy and quiet. It was around this time that his nose noticed something strange. He smelt another cat, but not as a faded undertone to the scent of a human. No, he smelt a real cat, here in his home! Immediately his hackles raised a bit, ears pressing back, as he imagined some other cat stealing the perfect napping spot. Prowling turned to stalking as he began to hunt down this rival, this other cat that dared enter his domain. His nose led him to the place, he was sure of it, but the sound of quiet human weeping gave him pause. Nonetheless, he had to press forward, and he entered the room with wide eyes and his tail poised tall.\n\nThe sight that greeted him was the usual one for rooms with crying. A small crowd of humans around a bed. What was strange was that they all smelt strongly of cat, so strongly... that the cat must have ALREADY MADE CLAIM TO THE COZY BED. Oscar leapt onto the bed only to land upon something that was not soft and warm, but smooth and hard and LOUD, clanging discordant notes into his delicate ears. With rage, he turned upon the foe, dashing his mighty paws against it, but the blasted thing only unleashed a katzenjammer upon him, countering his every strike with a jarring sonic attack. \n\nRecoiling for breath, he realized something he'd missed in his fury: A cat lay at the head of the bed, beleaguered by illness and bent by age. He only saw it just in time to read it's final statement in its eyes before they closed for good. The laughter in those eyes would haunt him for the rest of his days, he knew, as he turned to look at the encircling mob of now-intent humans, words echoing in his head as the now-forgotten ailing cat passed into his long nap: \n\n\"The curse is now yours, boy, until another touches the Ivory Beast. I'm freeeeeee.....\"\n\nEdit: Did some grammar touch-ups",
"\"Oh hi, Cat\"\n\nI knew my time was up. I was dying, and this is what comes into my room. His black hair framed his wrinkled, lumpy face as he appoached the hospital bed.\n\n\"Have I got a story for you!\"\n\nHe launched into a story about his visit to the Golden Globes. I ignored it. His accent was indescribable. Thick, pervasive, unplaceable. I was dying though. I needed an heir. Someone to pass my legacy on to. He would have to do.\n\n\"Listen, Tommy, for years I have been a champion of the internet. A pioneer of the keyboard. Now, that legacy is being passed down, paw to...hand, to you. Will you take up the mantle?\"\n\n\"Haha, what a story, cat. Anyway, how is your sex life?\"\n\nTo think... these were the last words I would ever hear....\n\n\"Why dontchu talk about it, haw? You just a chicken. Cheep, cheepcheepcheep cheep\"\n\nEverything faded. I was going, dying. He picked up the keyboard.\n\n\"What are you doing with computer? Go outside ITS SO BEAUTIFUL!\"\n\nI saw, before losing conciousness, the man throw the keyboard towards the floor. It shattered the moment my heart stopped. My legacy... lost forever.",
"The old orange tabby purred softly as his visitor approached. It was the first time anybody had heard him since he'd arrived at the vet's office in his small padded bed.\n\n\"Well, now... Let's have a look at you, hmm?\"\n\nOne ear flicked slowly as he sized up his guest. After a few moments, he nodded, front paws weakly kneading the cushioning underneath him.\n\n\"Yes... Yes, I think you'll do well.\" \n\nLowering his head, Bento stretched a paw forward, towards the portable keyboard that had been placed lovingly next to his bed.\n\n\"Take this. It served me well throughout the years... The thought of it helping you in your task... Yes, I like that.\"\n\nA wheezing cough stopped Bento, his frail form shivering as he struggled to draw breath. His guest waited silently, watching respectfully as she had since entering the room. As the coughing fit came to an end, Bento gradually laid his head down by his outstretched paw.\n\n\"Remember, it's not just about the music. Whether you play Chopsticks or Chopin, it's about how THEY feel. Yes, many of them will dismiss you, or deride you... But those people don't matter. It's the ones who will have a smile on their lips after they see you. The people whose day you can make just a little lighter, a little easier... That's your audience.\"\n\nBento's paw flexed slowly as his eyes began to close.\n\n\"Give it a try... Play me a song... You're the keyboard cat...\"\n\nA long, furry paw slowly stroked Bento once, from head to tail. His ears twitched in anticipation as the 3-toed paw withdrew. Carefully adjusting his cat-eared hood, the sloth turned to the keyboard...and began to play. "
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[WP] An ship of the galaxy's most dangerous creatures crash-lands on Earth. The aliens send a task force to recapture the escaped creatures, only to find that the humans have already managed to domesticate every last one.
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"By the time he had realized his mistake, it was too late. Ori bit the knuckle of his thumb and sighed as the lights of the receding ship faded into the distance. He knew they were dangerous. He knew they couldn’t be trusted. Somehow, still, he had let his guard down. The sirens were blaring and by now, the council would be highly aware of this critical mistake. Forevermore, he would be known as Ori Scheill: the man who released the most dangerous creatures ever discovered into the universe.\n\n“Ops!” He bellowed into the cold, echoing cavern of the space prison, “Track them down!” He did his best not to allow panic to creep into his voice, but he knew he was unsuccessful. It only took minutes for the command station to be up and running. His second in command and renowned technological genius, Dira Koepfel, was projecting patterns and paths, but it was very much guesswork.\n\t\n“We think they might be heading for galaxy 4792” Dira remained staring at her computer screen.\n\t\n“What do we know about 4792?” Ori could hear the raw nerves in his response, but he was long past the point of concealing his anxiety. The gravity of this disaster was unprecedented.\n\t\n“Relatively little. We’ve mapped it. There is one inhabited planet. That’s all we know. We know nothing of the inhabitants, although they are largely regarded as primitive and defenseless.” Oh dear sweet Gharudh, this is not what Ori wanted to hear. These vicious predators would tear a primitive, defenseless society apart. Now his crime of negligence could render him responsible for the extinction of an entire species. His body went cold, and his ears began ringing. Or rather, as he soon realized, the ringing was not in his ears but an incoming message from the council. He missed the tinnitus.\n\t\n“Ori Scheill,” boomed the voice of Galactic Prime Minister Yrig, “It has come to our attention that the Emowi have escaped. Please tell me that this is not the case.”\n\t\n“It is my deepest regret that I cannot. They took our ships approximately 10 minutes previous and we believe them to be headed for galaxy 4792” Ori was shocked that he managed not to stutter.\n\t\n“I do not need to tell you, I trust, that this is an unmitigated disaster. In the 3,817 years that the galactic prison ship has been in service, not a single prisoner has escaped. And now?! The entirety of the Emowi?! The most dangerous creatures our galaxy has ever known? You will fix this and then we will discuss consequences.”\n\t\n“Yes sir” There’s the stutter, though Ori, as he battled with his tongue to form those two, short words.\n\t\n“We will send ships and a relief crew to guard the prison while you and your team hunt them down. I hope for your sake they do not wipe out any planets on their journey.”\nThe communication ended, and Ori sunk to the floor, sweating and panicked. He and Dira shared a look.\n\t\n“How long will they have in the galaxy before we are able to meet them?” Ori was the first to break the silence.\n\t\n“We will only be a day or so behind them, as time flows here, but we have no knowledge of time differences in galaxy 4792. One day here could be millennia there.” Dira’s words were not as comforting as he would have liked.\n",
"Chidoan frowns as they descend down the space elevator. They had been received pleasantly by the humans, but he could tell their need to prove themselves was creeping into the interaction. Humanity had managed cheap space travel over long distances in the last international space year. Still new to interactions with the Intergalactic Interspecies Relations Regulatory Agency, these humans were clearly putting on their best face in order to prove themselves. They had simply been asked if they knew where these creatures were, and yet they stubbornly had attached an Ambassador and protection duty to detail.\n\nChidoan was confident that if any of these creatures were on the earth that the earth did not have the resources to attach a guard to him and his comrades. Besides, what good would tier 3 weaponry be against the Ligert? That creature had already wiped a Tier 2 species from the face of their planet when they took it home to \"study\" it. Chidoan glanced behind him at Quanlosa who had volunteered for this mission hoping to gain revenge against the Ligert. His people were still alive, but much of their culture had been lost to them. \n\nThe Space Elevator arrived at the ground level, and their ambassador quickly began to guide the four aliens around what must have been customs and towards a looming marketplace which was built to the east of the transportation module. \n\n\"We are going to take you to the location of the first creature on your list. What name did you call it?\"\n\nChidoan scowled at the ambassador's ineptitude. The creatures they were seeking were each annihilation level entities and had been the subject of thousands of intergalactic communications, and yet this earthling didn't even know its name? The Earthling's shaved skin seemed apt if this level of embarrasment was tolerated. \"The Gamoo. They are breeders. They need litle more than sunshine to sustain their life cycles, and when left alone, they will overtake any ecosystem. Because of their small size, and aggressive nesting, they not only overtake ecosystems, but they transport across the world before most notice that they...\" Chidoan was cautiosly looking around the crowd as he spoke. Though his short stature meant that he was only as tall as the average human's navel. As he was speaking he saw a Gamoo not far away on the backpack of a young man walking in another direction. \n\nGamoo darted between the crowd and in just an instance had vaulted over the young man and enclosed the tiny creature in a grasp of hair. \n\n\"Hey!\" The boy cried out indignantly. \n\nChidoan glanced down at the Gamoo and was about to crush it when a voice over his shoulder caught his attention. \n\n\"Wait, don't kill that creature!\" the Earth Ambassador creid out. \n\n\"This Gamoo is the scourge of multiple planets, why in the world should I stop?\" Chidoan exclaimed the the Earthling. \n\n\"Please, let me explain.\" said the abassador, arm stretched out clearly requesting the Gamoo. \n\n\"You aren't getting this thing back. It is a Type 1 Contaminant, what do you not understand about that?\"\n\n\"Fine, ill explain, and then maybe you will relent. Young man, I hope you will be patient with us, you will get your Dragon back momentarily.\" \n\n\"These creatures landed here just before our current space age had begun. About 100 years ago. They landed near a Puppy mill. Puppies are a kind of human pet. Well this mill realized two things right off the back. First, that these creatures looked just like a mythological creature we celebrate here on earth, Dragons. Except unlike dragons that are larger than some spacecraft, these creatures never grow longer than a human forearm. The second thing they noticed, was that the creature was adorable and spent most of its time eager to play with humans, or content being around humans. They took off as pets immediately. A problem occured about five years later because of all the breeding the creatures were doing, but someone figured out how to neuter male dragons when they were in the egg, and now the government closely regulate their sale and trade so that there is never another breeding problem. I reckon 2 out of three people of our world keep one or more of these, Gamoo did you call them, as pets. Oh, one more thing, we did discover that Gamoo raised around dogs are significantly safer, and so most Gamoo Hatcheries keep dogs around.\"\n\nChidoan's mind began to race. Did these people just say that they keep a type 1 contraband creature as a pet? This was obscene. Most worlds would never dream of flying in the face of the Regulatory Agency. More than that, how was this possible? These creatures were little more than vermin picked up off some backwater planet. Chidoan throught back to the debriefing about this creatures habits. These creatures were formidable because they bred fast and built invasive nests to take care of their young. But they were extremely hazardous because of their ability to adapt to an environment. These things must have adapted to the pets the humans kept. In fact, it seems that even now they are raised around dogs to keep them docile throughout their lives. \n\nChidoan thought for a moment and then began to talk. \"Ambassador Chen, we are going to need to report this to our superiors. If you could have an expert on these... Dragons meet us in our quarters we will need all the information we can get before reporting back. In the meantime, let's talk about the other two creatures we believe have come to the earth.\"\n\nThe ambassador visibly became uneasy at the fact that the Regulatory agency would need to judge the earth. \"Yes sir, to find the Bl'g'tch, we will need to travel to the Republic of Texas. \n\n",
"\"There will be no retrieval effort.\"\n\n\"That is totally irresponsible! This is a Class III society! They haven't developed interstellar flight yet. How are they supposed to deal with an event like this one?\"\n\n\"What do you know about the Sol system and the sapient inhabitants there?\"\n\n\"Well . . . not much. There's a few bouncing around the galaxy that were illegally obtained but I . . .\"\n\n\"We have reports from all over the galaxy. Humans will adopt anything as a companion mate. They prefer things that have fur . . . mostly. However, there are reports of humans adopting, taming, rearing, and caring for creatures of every description and type across the galaxy.\"\n\n\"Why would they do that?\"\n\n\"Apparently it gave them some kind of evolutionary advantage. Now? I don't know. A few humans die every year trying to tame something new.\"\n\n\"So what you're saying about the shipment . . .\"\n\n\"Either dead - because the world itself is a deathtrap - or adopted at this point. I'm just glad that the ship's quarantine protocols finally kicked in and vaporized the important bits.\"\n\n\"What being in it's right mind would want to tame a cold blooded creature capable of igniting it's exhalations? They're insanely dangerous.\"\n\n\"They can fly, and they're big enough to carry a human. Really, that's all most of them need. However, the biggest factor - and I have seen this confirmed by the humans living out here - is that when they first hatch they are considered 'cute' by most humans. I predict they'll be bred and trained worldwide within the century.\""
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[WP] The genetic testing kits that are becoming popular are secretly searching for people with latent superpowers
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"It wasn’t like James to skip breakfast. The corner of the straw-knit place mat his chewed fingernails were picking at began to fray before his mother’s repeated call gained his attention. \n\n“Honey, honey...” \n\nShe extended a tan arm and laid her elegant hand on to James’ to stop his fidgeting. His eyes locked intently on the juxtaposition of his mother’s perfectly manicured nails and his own. \n\n“Look at me, please.” she cooed softly. Reluctantly James forced his chin up to his mother but left his eyes on his hands. She squeezed his hands, now balled up into fists and his eyes flicked up to her. She searched for a brief moment before she felt his hands relax underneath hers. His chest heaved up with a deep breath, and slowly exhaled the tension from his rigid torso. \n\n“Everything will be ok, I promise.” \n\nSometimes it was hard for Claire to look at her son. Every day James grew more to look like his father, the man who had walked away from her, and left her bloody and broken on the floor of a hotel lobby. She winced as the memory flooded back and felt her sons hands clench again underneath her own. James slid his hands away and turned his head back down to the corner of the place mat.\n\n“Shit. Sorry buddy. I... I didn’t mean for you to...” Claire started to say.\n\n“I know Mom. It’s okay...” James cut her off. \n\nHe stood up, leaving his untouched plate at the table. \n\nHe couldn’t help but feel it was unfair. His mom was one, and now his baby sister too. She was only three months old when the first notice formed from thin air on the table during breakfast. \n\n“Grace Kell, it is with great pleasure I write to you today. You are an extraordinary person, with an extraordinary future. We welcome you with open arms to the society. \n//kinuds//\n-Jonathan Mach”\n\nWhen the letter had appeared James was torn between excitement and fear. He had waited ten years to find out whether he would ever join the society. Claire couldn’t bear the idea that James might never develop his touch, and so she kept him positive by promising that it often takes years for the genetic tests to develop. To mature. To show up. Deep down when James grabbed the letter off the table he knew it wouldn’t be addressed to him, but he couldn’t help to hope. \n\nHis mother watched with fear and anticipation as he opened it. She had almost convinced herself that he could just be a late bloomer. Plenty of kids don’t show the touch until later. Though thirteen was very late. \n\nJames snapped back to his kitchen, his mother looking up at him pleadingly. He knew it wasn’t her fault but couldn’t help be upset that he would never be gifted like his mom. \n\nHe had thought there had been times when he had influenced people through his touch, convincing his friend to let him play one more game of FIFA by grabbing his shoulder or influencing his teacher to change his grade on an assignment when they’re legs had been crammed together in the same seat on the bus for a field trip. \n\nHis mother and his sister had what was called the touch. The ability to share emotions through contact. It is encoded I the human DNA, the ability to change another persons chemical balance to make them share whatever emotion they are feeling.\n\nThey’re had been slips in the system before. James had read about all sorts of people who were never recognized by the society. That spent their whole lives influencing people without ever getting caught or punished. That gave him hope.\n\nBut James’ mother was careful with what he was allowed to read, there were stories of those with the touch that could make your skin crawl. That the U.S. army had found people adept with it to torture enemies. To bring them to their knees as they felt the emptiness, loss, lifetimes f sorrow packed into brief seconds of blinding pain. \n\n[its getting late.... sorry if this started to not make sense towards the end... might write a part 2 if there’s interest. ]",
"Sequence Labs Server Operations Office, Wichita, Kansas\n\n\"Have a good one, Gary.\" Marsha walked out the office door without looking back. I was by myself.\n\nI kicked back in my chair. Overtime. I enjoyed times like these-- no meetings, no useless phone calls. Just myself and a handful of jam bands. I dug around and found a set from the Friendlies '73 tour, put it on. The band was still sound testing and bantering as I got to work.\n\nI'd been authorized overtime because we had some data anomalies. Our process identifies genetic markers for all kinds of stuff, but the main thing folks are looking for are ancestral haplogroups. It makes for a good social media post. The phrase \"I'm 12% Irish!\" has kept the lights on around here.\n\nAt the same time, we test for genetic diseases. Wilson Disease, for example, might go undetected until late adulthood but can have impacts on the liver. It's less sexy than finding out you're 8% Navajo, but it's the part of the business that we take pride in. We save lives.\n\nWe don't test for everything, it's cost- and time-prohibitive. There's a lot of genetic data that simply goes uncoded. Within the standard array of genetic code, there's a vast swatch of stuff that we don't test for.\n\nUntil two weeks ago. A man came into the office and spoke with my supervisor. People don't just walk into our offices; we're a coding farm, not a customer-facing shop. Our marketing department does that.\n\nA few days later, we get a new directive-- we're going to start looking at gene sequence 246A-2T. This wasn't terribly new; we typically get asked to add sequences every six months or so as a package we receive from the lab geeks. In my three years at Sequence, I'd only seen a special request happen once, and it had to do with an anticipated vulnerability to a new strain of flu. Our entire backlog of tests were sampled for the data and forwarded to the CDC.\n\nBig stuff. Lots of staff were pulled, tons of reports were filed. This time was different. I was asked to pull the data from all of our tests, including neonatal. This was extra weird, not just because of the HIPAA violations, but because our team had nothing to do with the neonatal testing. I had to spend the entire week negotiating how to pull their data, as they used an entirely different form.\n\nNow, I just had to sit back and let the program compile. The music played on, and I watched the data scroll by. The process wouldn't take long, I was only looking for one marker.\n\nBy the time the Friendlies were finishing their set, I had an output. I took a look at the names on the list, expecting some kind of pattern. With small sets like these, you usually see some kind of familial connection. I fully expected to see a lot of the same last name or region.\n\nI was a little surprised. The people on the list didn't seem to be related. What's more, they seemed to come from all over the country. There were two from California, three from Tennessee, one from Kansas... Wichita! There was one from my hometown!\n\nI pulled up the file and ice ran through my veins. Kelley Meeker. Kelley went to my grade school, a year ahead of me. Everyone used to avoid him. He'd stare at you like he was looking right into your soul. He would argue with the teachers and he'd get pulled out of class all the time for these huge migraines. I remember I walked past the nurses' station once and saw him laid out on the examination bed, a pack to his forehead. His back was arched in pain; he was contacting the bed only on his heels and the back of his head. His head whipped over when I walked by and stared right at me, his eyes rimmed in red and sweat dripping down his face. All the sudeen, he smiled, and mouthed the words \"roll down the window.\" I screamed and ran.\n\nLater that year, he transferred out after an altercation with a teacher, Mr Filby. Rumor has it he said \"I know where the bodies are buried Mr. Filby\". Mr. Filby was tried for murder a few years later. He'd killed his wife and her lover and buried them in nearby woods. Thing is, this all happened years after Kelly was transferred.\n\nI felt my throat tighten and my mouth fill with saliva. I jammed a thumb drive in and pulled the data. Little things about Kelley started coming to mind. He'd finish peoples' sentences. He used to talk to people who weren't there. My throat clenched again and I felt like I was going to vomit. I became certain of it. I snatched the drive out of the PC and ran to the bathroom.\n\nI never vomited. I stood hunched over the toilet, spitting. Kelley was special. It wasn't just a misremembered childhood story. He knew Mr. Filby was going to kill those people. Did he know I was going to find out about him? I suppressed a shiver.\n\nI washed off at the sink, not looking at myself in the mirror. Everything was weighing too heavily on me. The building felt haunted, full of danger. I needed to get home and call some friends. I left the bathroom in a rush to get out, senses on alert, mind racing.\n\nI was only halfway down the hall back to the office when I heard quiet murmering. I paused, stock still and listening. From the cubicles, I heard what sounded like two men talking. I couldn't make out what they were saying, but I quietly backpedaled and went back down the hall toward the rear exit.\n\nI eased the stairwell door open, ducked through and quietly, slowly... closed it. It made no noise that I could discern, but I started briskly descending the steps down to the ground floor. From there, I could see through the safety glass out across the lobby to the exit. The exit door was alarmed and normally I would need to disable it with a code. I reasoned that I wouldn't. If I tripped the alarm, the security company would come by and maybe they'd catch the dudes who were in my office.\n\nResolved, I slowly opened the door and padded across the lobby, looking off to my right to see back into the elevator bank. Nobody. I sprinted out the door, and made a beeline for my car. I fished my keys out of my pocket while I ran. The parking lot was empty except for my car which was parked in the back and a black sedan that was immediately next to the door. I didn't pause to look in; the windows were tinted and if there was anyone inside, I stood a better chance if I simply fled.\n\nThe rush to my car took agonizing infinities. I felt invisible eyes on me, pictured guns taking aim. I breathlessly fumbled with the door lock for a moment that felt like an eternity, and then slung myself in and ignited the engine in one motion, never taking my eyes off the entrance to the building. I'd just thrown it in reverse when two men in black suits ran out the front. I tore off to the parking lot exit; I had better positioning than they did and stood a good chance of getting away if I didn't hesitate.\n\nI gunned it and turned right onto the access street. I flew down to the main road and hooked a right again at the light. I kept an eye on my rearview, but traffic was thick enough that I never saw a sedan. I shut off my phone, fearing they'd track me with GPS.\n\nAfter a few miles, I relaxed a bit and thought more about my long-term plans while stopped at a red light. I'd need a place to stay. I'd need to pay with cash. I'd need to get out of town.\n\nFrom my right came a rapping at my passenger window. I fliched. I fully expected to get shot right there. Instead I was greeted by a friendly face of a man roughly my age with a wild beard. He gestured for me to roll down the window. I didn't at first, but realization dawned on me. It was Kelley."
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[WP] The chosen one begs the gods to end his suffering. He takes refusal by silence badly and defects to join the Empress.
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"Critiques welcome~ I feel a little rusty writing again. \n\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\n“Yes….your highness,” I uttered, head downcast, sword on the ground beside me. “Your will be done.” \n\n&nbsp;\n\nThrone rooms were always designed the be imposing, and this one was no exception. The entire room was lit through the magnificently crafted stained glass roof, leaving no shadows for any assassins to hide. The twin rows of royal guards that decorated the short distance from doors to the throne straightens and pounded the ground with their shields as I rose from my kneeling position, the plates of the new armor I was furnished graciously by the Empress herself clattered softly, an oddly satisfying sound to my ears. \n\n&nbsp;\n\nI spun on my heels, an action that I had grown accustomed to in recent years, taking a step towards the large iron doors. At this moment, a loud crash issued from above, followed by what sounded like tinkles from a silver bell, only a hundred times louder. \n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy body reacted on instinct, sword already drawn, and in my hands, whilst my body twisted, jumping to shield the Empress from the falling shards of glass. It was beautiful, in a twisted way, the multi coloured glass creating a whirling kaleidoscope of colours. \n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe royal guards, well trained and well disciplined all raised their tower shields, sprinting towards us, towards the Empress. I was the first, on account of my proximity of course, I tossed her unceremoniously onto the ground, then shielded her with my body. Clad head to toe in enchanted armor of the best make and design, the glass simply shattered harmlessly on impact. \n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe heathens swarmed in from above, their numbers the only thing on their side. I made a mental note to have talks with the guard captain about the security in the palace as soon as I was out of this mess. I smiled grimly as they headed towards us, while the royal guards formed up in neat and tidy rows, a line of steel against a sea of flesh and grime. \n\n&nbsp;\n\n“MAKE THE FALSE EMPRESS BURN. THE GODS HAVE DECREED HER TO BE A PRETENDER TO THE THRONE,” One shouted, to a resounding war cry as the unruly crowd pushed back, slowly, but surely the guards were forced to retreat. \n\n&nbsp;\n\n“Are you alright?” I turned back and questioned. \n\n&nbsp;\n\n“Make them pay,” She replied, giving no heed to the fact that her throne room had just come under attack. She lightly dusted the rich golden garments she had chosen to wear that day with a dainty hand, ending our conversation.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI turned wordlessly, barking orders at the guards to let me through. \n\n&nbsp;\n\n“Sacred. SLASH,” I shouted the moment I cleared the guards who had already reformed their shield wall. \n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhite energy emitted from my sword’s cutting edge a wave of thin light leaving my blade. It cleaved through flesh and bone with ease, leaving the left flank clear as people fell from wounds or fatal injuries. I walked towards them, cutting the rest down like weeds from a garden. They were poorly armed and armoured, only having bits of leather and makeshift weapons. I parried, sliced, trusted, over and over again, barely breaking out a sweat as I cut them down.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI heard a moan from amongst the fallen. I reached down a grabbed him by the rags he called clothes. \n\n&nbsp;\n\nHis eyes widened when he recognized me. “Why? You were the chosen by the gods. ” \n\n&nbsp;\n\n“The Gods?” I growled. “The gods that remained silent. The Gods that I begged to end my pain. The Gods I prayed to save Her?” \n\n&nbsp;\n\n“They have their reasons. You need to have faith,” His bloodied hand reached up, a vain attempt at a holy gesture. It irked me to no end that they clung to their gods still. I loosened my grip allowing him fall back onto the pile of bodies, disgust and rage on my face. Reversing my sword, I plunged the blade downwards feeling it part the marble underneath. “Your chosen is gone. As will be your Gods.” \n\n",
"I was the chosen one. Destined to save the world from the Dark Empress Valdana. My mission had always been aided by the gods, but in the moment I needed them most, all I got was silence.\n\nThey abandoned me, so I abandoned them.\n\nI marched to the Dark empress's castle and swore fealty to her. I was always meant to be a tool in someone else's hands, and I found hers to be much more pleasant to the touch.\n\nAt first I was just her consort. She took great pleasure in turning the weapon of the Gods into her plaything. I didn't mind at all, warming her bed was far preferable to wading through corpses on my way to collect her head.\n\nIn time she grew to care for me as a person rather than just as a plaything, and we were wed properly. Once I had been at her feet, now I was at her side. The gods would never have given me such an offer.\n\nAs the emperor I was tasked with managing the people she conquered. I made sure they were fed and healthy, and they never once thought to rebel against her. At first she thought I was being too soft on them, but when she saw the results she stopped complaining.\n\nThese days Valdana hardly qualifies for the title of \"Dark Empress.\" In fact, more than a few rebellions have asked for us to conquer them just because life under us was so much better than under their own king.\n\nI believe I now know why the gods remained silent that day. I wasn't to save the world from Valdana, I was to save it *with* her and save her in the process. Perhaps a little strife was worth it, if this is how it ends."
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[WP] Your child finds a mysterious book on your bookshelf, reading it while you work in a different room. You call out, hear no response, check the room, and find nothing but the book lying open on the floor. It reads, “Want to see your child again? Turn the page and follow the instructions.”
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"The library was full of unknown tomes which we had inherited from my spouse's uncle on the Orient. I spent most of my hours within the study pouring over the latest shipping forecasts checking how my ships would fare. My eldest had just returned to the Manor from school and was curious about the books in the library. I left him to his devices and continued my work.\n\nFrom my desk I heard a scream, echoing from the library. I walked down expecting of my child that they may have discovered a book of ill repute. Upon entering the room the had disappeared.\n\nA book layed open upon the parquet. On it were the words written 'Your child has gone, should you wish to see him again follow the instructions.' my eyes widened and scanned the room. I already knew the windows could not be opened and the servants would have noticed a strange person within the domicile. \n\nSuddenly the book flipped to the next page. Cometh ye to thine end. As the wards flashed into my mind I felt a short sharp shock to the back of my head. ",
"I grab a pen, and start writing *do I have to start right away? This silence wonderful!* I turn the page to see the question *you do realize your son is trapped, right? It’s not a party over here* I reply *i know, but I really don’t mind him having a time out without all the shouting* the next page has tightly written words, as if someone was hurried or annoyed * you’re his father! Get moving or else!* smiling, I write *what else?* and see the response *bad things! Hurry up!* so I say *what kind of bad things?* and with a *gah!* and a flash of light, my son appears. *fine! I curse you with this annoying brat!!* and with that, the book catches fire and burns away. “What did you do?” I ask. His response is a devious smile"
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[WP]The ice cream van that drives through your cul-de-sac plays classical music instead of the usual fare. One day, you look out your window. The van is playing Flight of Valkyries, and an army of armed children follow.
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"######[](#dropcap) \n\nWagner's sweeping musical flourishes echoed down the street into my bedroom window. I looked at my clock angrily, and saw it was 3AM.\n\nIt was that goddamned ice cream truck again, I just knew it. At first it was so cute, such a fun novelty - an ice cream truck with a high quality speaker, playing Mozart instead of that insipid, tinny loop of musical garbage played out of whatever re-purposed, middle school, blow horn ice cream trucks *usually* come equipped with.\n\nThe Homeowners Association was over the moon for the new truck. They cited to various studies the Board President, that prick, had dredged up from Google scholar, about the positive developmental affect classical music had on children. The ice cream truck was praised by everyone, the local paper even did a write up on it, which got picked up by the Chicago Tribune. As I understand, the idea had really taken off in the city, and the baby blue brand of ice cream trucks were apparently on every corner now. \n\nMore fool them. In the last month, *any* positive feelings I had about that damned truck have evaporated completely. \n\nI love classical music. I have a subscription to the Chicago opera, the symphony orchestra - hell, I listen to classical music every night. If the damn truck held regular business hours, I probably wouldn't have bad thing to say about it. But this damn thing is riding around residential streets, blasting Prokofiev at every hour of the night! It's unbelievable. I've filed so many complaints to the Homeowners Association, but they don't do anything. Personally, I think it's that young silicon valley jackass we voted in - 23 years old and he's the President of a Homeowners Association? New blood my ass - I don't care how much money he has, or how many houses he owns - the little prick has no common sense.\n\nI see him sometimes, late at night, along with a hoard of neighborhood children, *buying ice cream*, hanging out by that damn truck like it's the first McDonalds. Two nights ago I woke up at 1AM - *1AM!* - and saw the *Board President* eating a *fudgesicle*, surrounded by two dozen *school children*, on a *school night*, while that truck played Rachmaninoff loud enough to shake my windows!\n\nAnd what about all the dogs?! I bet they didn't mention all the dogs when they pitched their ice cream truck to the Chicago City Council. Ever since the truck started operating around here, there had been a %10,000 increase in the number of stray dogs. It was unreal - dogs seemed to be coming far and wide to our little neighborhood, and when the ice cream truck was on, it would usually have a trail of mangy dogs walking behind it. \n\nIt's truly intolerable, and I know I'm not alone in feeling this way. I've spoken with all my neighbors, and to a person, everyone over the age of 30 absolutely despises that damned truck. The older parents are downright angry with it. I've heard stories from a couple next door that when the truck comes around, no matter the hour, they have to lock their daughter in her room or she'll run right out to buy ice cream. Can you believe that? It's outrageous, making our children into sugar addicts.\n\nIn fact, that's it. I've had enough! I decide, tonight, I'm going to do something about it. I put on my pants and my warm shirt, my outdoor slippers, and stomp downstairs and out the front door, my cell phone in hand. I rehearse what I plan on saying - \"everyone go home, immediately, or I will call the police.\" That sounds good - and it is *not* an empty threat, believe me.\n\nI step outside and turn towards the sound of Wagner's \"Flight of the Valkyries\", about a block away. As I walk in that direction, the ice cream truck comes into view, but from my perspective, looking straight at the front of the truck, there doesn't appear to be anyone nearby, which is strange. The truck isn't even stopped, it's just slowly inching forward down the street. \n\nAs it gets past the Henry household, I see a child run out the front door, his parents in hot pursuit, all of them barefoot and in their pajamas. The parents get to the curb and see something that frightens them into silence, while the child disappears behind the truck.\n\nAcross the street from the Henry house, are the Smiths. They have a transparent glass storm door, and behind the glass, I can see their 12 year old daughter trying to get out. They must have locked the glass door with a key, because she can't get it open. Then, the most extraordinary thing happens - the little girl stops struggling with the lock, stands up straight, and headbutts the glass. Nothing happens at first, so she does it again, and then again, until there is a blotch of bright red blood where her forehead keeps impacting the door. Finally, after the sixth or seventh blow, the glass door shatters, setting off the house alarm, and the girl runs, barefoot, *through* the broken glass, towards the ice cream truck.\n\nI run after her, distraught, and worried for her mental health, wondering where in the name of God her parents are in all the chaos. As I run toward the house, I cross the street, and am able to see behind the large ice cream truck. \n\nHundreds of children, maybe 400 dogs, and a smattering of young people, none older than their early 20s, marched in perfect rows behind the truck, some barefoot, others with shoes on, others completely naked - each having stopped whatever they were doing and attended the call of the ice cream truck. I saw the Smith girl join the ranks, and the other children shifted perfectly and simultaneously along the entire formation in order to accommodate their new addition, like a chain of ants. Nearest the front, six rows back from the rear bumper of the truck, was the Board President, his face blank, his eyes vapid.\n\nAs I passed the Smith house, I stole a glimpse inside the shattered remains of their door, and saw, further inside, two prostrate bodies on the white tile, laying in a liquid plume of red. \n\nHorrified, I ran back to my house. As I went, I looked back one last time at the ice cream truck, searching for the driver, but there wasn't one: the driver's seat was completely empty. \n\nDialing 911, I stepped inside, locked my door, and fell to the ground with my back against it, hyperventilating.\n\n\n**********\n\n#### For More Legends From The Multiverse\n\n#### r/LFTM\n\n\n",
"I never knew that I wanted an ice cream *so bad*, but sometimes you do not choose ice cream, the ice cream chooses you.\n\nI still remember the time when my life changed. It was a sunny day and I did my usual: I watched the television.\n\nThen I heard it. [I heard *that* song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YOYlgvI1uE). I walked near the window, watched outside and saw the magnificent view.\n\nThere was this van, slowly passing my house, thousands of children ran out of the houses and joined with the other already following children. It was just enraged running. They just wanted the bloody ice cream.\n\nBut there was a problem. As a child, I also wanted *that* ice cream. You see, in any normal case, I would have left the house via the door, but I wanted the ice cream so badly, that I took the nearby chair and threw it against the window glass. I guess I was lucky that this house still had an older window, so it broke easily.\n\nNext thing, I climbed out of the window and followed the van.\n\nThe ice cream belonged to me. Me alone! I wanted the ice cream. No-one else can have it.\n\nAs I started to follow the van, I kicked different children away and rushed forward. Never skipping the leg day finally paid off. Even so, whenever I was about to reach it, the van increased its speed tiny bit, making me unable to touch it.\n\nI followed and followed the van. I didn't even notice that at some point the surroundings had changed from green to desert and from desert to white snow. None of the weather effects stopped me though. It didn't matter if it was way too hot or too cold, the only thing that I wanted was the damn ice cream. Is it too much to ask?\n\nSuddenly the car stopped, and so did I. When I looked behind myself, I saw nobody else there. I was victorious. I was the worthy one, I deserved the ice cream. None other shall taste it.\n\nThe door opened and an old man came out. He was holding it. The ice cream. My delicious glorious amazing fantastic precious ice cream.\n\nThe old man was wearing a top hat. His long beard wasn't just white, it was silver-grey, I could've sworn it was even shining.\n\nHe smiled. The smile felt like something wicket. It warned me not to take the ice cream. After all, who would be crazy enough to give me *that* ice cream? He held out the ice cream for me to take it, to own it.\n\nOf course, I took it, without a second thought. I opened it and then slowly consumed it.\n\nThen he patted on my shoulder and said the cursed lines: \"Now you shall ride the van until you find someone worthy enough to continue your legacy.\"\n\nHe turned around and walked away. We were in the middle of the snowy road, but he didn't care, he just walked somewhere. He looked blessed, free of the curse.\n\nI slowly went inside the van and inspected the surrounding. I realised that I can't leave it behind. All of it was mine now. It belonged to me.\n\nBut I didn't want it. I wanted to get rid of it. Yet, I couldn't leave it.\n\nI couldn't even leave the van anymore. Something stopped me.\n\nI went behind the wheel and inserted a new disk into its player. I didn't know where I got the disk, but I had it and I knew what was on it. [I could hear a new music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBXcvR0ejC0) coming out of the speakers. Announcing that this van belonged to me. It was a victory music.\n\nThen I pressed the gas and slowly drove towards the golden sun.\n\nI didn't notice that I no longer was a child.\n\n----\n\n/r/ElvenWrites - feedback is always welcomed :)!"
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[WP] You wake up one morning and are startled to hear outside, "This is the police. Come out with your hands up"
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"They've come for me. They've come for all of us. \n\nI snatch up the pistol lying on top of the dresser and peer out the window. Three police cars are surrounding my house, flanked by an assortment of pickup trucks and civilian cars. \n\nEveryone in America knows they aren't real cops.\n\nKaren is already up, strapping body armor around her chest. She helps me into mine, as the warning blares through the megaphone for the second time. \n\n\"Go up the attic and man the 50 cal,\" I tell her. \"I'll warn our guests downstairs.\"\n\n\"We're dying for a righteous cause,\" Karen whispers through a strained smile. \"I love you.\"\n\n\"I know. Now go!\" \n\nI take a second peek out the window as I run out of the bedroom. A dozen men are approaching my house, shotguns and assault rifles raised. Every one of them are sloppily dressed in hunting camouflage and body armor, like they were action heroes or something. And those red caps. Those damn, red caps. \n\nI wrench open the door to my basement. Frightened eyes look up. Children, women, men. Whites, Muslims, Hispanics, blacks, and Asians. \n\nAmericans. \n\n\"They're here. Escape through the tunnels while we hold them back,\" I pull back the slide of my pistol and chamber a round.\n\n\"They won't get their hands on you. Not in my backyard.\" "
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[WP] In a post-apocalyptic world, an old woman is waiting at a bus stop.
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"Felix gently parted the curtains with the tip of his sword and peered down its edge. From the upstairs window he had a clear line of sight to the back of the old woman’s head. He didn’t like being this remote from her, but she had insisted on remaining outside. \n\n“You’re so paranoid”, Mrs Hayes had said when he protested. Felix countered with his favorite defence being that paranoia was a healthsome virtue in light of their current situation. Mrs Hayes waved her hands dismissively.\n\n“Please just go, Felix,” she said firmly, though the wet shine in her eyes transmuted the command into a plea. “I can’t do it anymore. I can’t see anymore of my children...like….that.”\n\nFelix’s hands locked onto the the wheel chair’s handles and prepared to move her.\n\n“I’ll take you to the porch. Out of sight. It’ll be safer,” he said.\n\nThe old woman’s hands were not as strong as Felix’s pneumatic manipulators but it was a close run thing. She clamped hard on the tires and Felix froze all movements to avoid tipping her from the chair. \n\n“I’ll stay here, Felix,” Mrs Hayes said with more conviction. “This bus stop and me are very old friends. I have sat here many times with my children and grandchildren, waiting for the bus to come and take me home. I’ll take the comfort of memories over the horror of what reality has become these days.”\n\nShe managed a weak smile at the robot. Felix considered the problem a fraction of a second longer, then ran a quick passive scan of the area for threats. The suburb around him almost looked idyllic, if you ignored the bullet holes, energy weapon burns and the occasional putrefying corpse. But it looked like any conflict here had ended months ago and the long trek to the town had not indicated a lingering militia presence of significant numbers. Likelihood of an incident was low. \n\n“OK.” he said. “But don’t go anywhere. I’ll not be long.”\n\nAt least she had listened this time. Mrs Hayes still sat in the exact spot he had left her. As he watched her through the window he fired a short burst of his analytics laser at her to get some vital stats. Her breathing rhythm, heart rate, oxygen levels. The cardiac dysrhythmia was not going away. It was a concern. Back in the nursing home he would have had the correct facilities to treat her but they couldn't go back there now. Anyway, she was right to remain outside. The scene inside her son’s house would have disturbed her. \n\nFelix had entered through the back door and found himself in the kitchen. A small pile of fuse blocks sat on the kitchen table. Jeffrey, Mrs Hayes son, had managed to pull them before the toaster or the oven or the boiler had the chance to set the house on fire. He’d been paying attention to the news reports then. Probably did that before the authorities shut down the power grid. Unfortunately for him, his lawnmower must have had an LTE connection that allowed the malware package to get through. Once it had overpowered him, it looked as though it just sat on Jeffrey's face at full speed until its battery was drained. A dark red fantail was sprayed across the linoleum from the lawn mower’s mulching chute and chunks of Jeffrey were distributed messily about the room. \n\nThe next corpse Felix found was of Jeffrey’s twenty-two year old son, Lucas. He had clearly been attacked by a more sophisticatedly articulated robot. In stark contrast to Jeffrey’s disorderly demise, Lucas had been meticulously taken apart and laid out like an exploded diagram on the living room wall. Organs were arrayed around him, connected back to his vivisected body by arteries, veins and viscera aligned to some invisible orthogonal grid. Felix guessed this was the work of a militiabot, humanoid, probably a day or so after Jeffrey’s run in with the lawn mower. Lucas had most likely been holed up in the house with a weapon and a false belief in a fighting chance when the militia had come to cleanse the area. Kelly, Jeffrey’s wife had been attacked by a robot toy snake that had worked it's way down her throat before bursting through her ribs. Kelly was a fighter, though, and the snake looked worse off than her in the end.\n\nThere had been similar scenes at Mrs Hayes’ other children's homes. Except here he could find no trace of Harriet, the sixteen year old, nor of Bella, the youngest. This was unexpected. It was most likely, by a massive margin, that they would have been home and suffered the same fate as the rest of the family. Beyond that it was almost a certainty that they were dead wherever they were. It was least likely, virtually impossible, that they were alive somewhere but Felix knew that that was precisely what Mrs Hayes would believe. He simulated a few million scenarios to weigh the overall medicinal benefit of false hope against a bitter truth that provided closure, but still struggled to make a decision of what to tell his charge. He was becoming increasingly more indecisive and that worried him. He scheduled a full self-diagnostic for the next time he could spare his higher functions to run the test. \n\nThe squat bleat of a slug rifle snapped him out of his navel gazing and he immediately leapt through the window in a cascade of glass and wood. The wonky actuator in his right thigh snapped out of its mounts when his feet hit the front lawn and he ended up sprawled across the grass, his sword tumbling out of reach. He quickly drew the Glock from the holster he had knocked up out of scrap metal and welded to his hip and scanned for targets, before struggling to his feet. \n\n“Spiderbot,” Mrs Hayes called over her shoulder, “but I got the bastard. At least I think he's dead.” \n\nFelix limped over to stand behind Mrs Hayes’ wheel chair and surveyed the smouldering pile of slag ringed by seven and a half crooked black legs.\n\n“Yes,” he said, “I think his web slinging days are over.”\n\nMrs Hayes barked a short laugh. Felix could tell even from behind that the old woman was smiling. He could also tell that the smile had faded long before she turned to cast a sorrowful look at the house, the last remaining hope that her children and her children’s children had not been entirely lost. There was no doubt of the question in her eyes when they finally met the broad-spectrum receptor arrays of her robotic protector and friend.\n\nFelix couldn’t face that gaze for long. He looked away down the street, still unsure of what to tell her. In the very edge of his vision there was a sudden flurry of movement and he brought the Glock to bear on a spiderbot that skittered out a sewer grate. The three shots he squeezed off in rapid succession tore open the carapace of the robot milliseconds before a super sonic tungsten slug obliterated what remained. \n\n“Bastard!” growled Mrs Hayes.\n\nIn Felix's infrared vision the molten remnants of the second spiderbot burned a fierce white. The barrel of the slug rifle in Mrs Hayes hands burned nearly as bright but faded to dark red quickly. A marvel of modern material engineering, deadly in the hands of a geriatric. Felix felt something click into place inside him. The robot retrieved his sword from the lawn and sheathed it on his back. He holstered the Glock with a flourish and punched his leg hard until the loose actuator jammed up somewhere near where it was meant to seat. Mrs Hayes turned to watch in mild amusement. This time Felix met her gaze without reservation.\n\n“Harriet and Bella are out there somewhere,” he told the old woman. “Let's go find them, Iris.”\n\nMrs Hayes smiled and nodded firmly. Felix grabbed the handles of the wheel chair and started pushing.\n",
"The damned bus was late again.\n\nA scowl appeared on her aged and weathered face as she impatiently glanced at her wristwatch. The watch was a small, pink plastic one that had endured through the tests of time, being with her in every moment she could remember for the last few years. It had a faded picture of that one Japanese cat that her granddaughter had adored on the face of the watch. Her expression softened at the thought of her granddaughter, a girl that had brought her so much joy and life. She could faintly remember the child's smiling face, her adoring eyes, and her gentle laughter as she went from a tiny baby to an active and glowing child.\n\nUnfortunately, some things glowed far brighter than her granddaughter. And those things took the little girl away from her.\n\nIt was eight years, six months, and three days ago. She remembered the day because it was also the day her daughter announced to her that she was having a second child. She remembered the excitement that she shared with everyone in the family and the celebratory mood that befell on them throughout the day. She remembered how she sat with her granddaughter and shared the exciting news with her, and her joyous reaction from discovering that she would soon have a brother. She handed her a watch that she had won in a school and kissed her cheeks in excitement. \n\nDespite the celebrations, she planned to visit her husband to also tell him the good news. He lived miles outside of town so she took a bus to visit his home and stay with him for the rest of the day. \n\nJust hours after she arrived at his home, the news announced that war had begun and that both sides were launching the deadliest weapon known to mankind. She and her husband listened to the news quietly as they began to list the name of the cities and towns that were expected to be bombed. When she heard the name of her town, she ran outside as quickly as she could, but nothing could be done. It was too late.\n\nAll she remembered was the horror she felt when she witnessed a mushroom cloud rise high above her hometown. The town where she had lived her entire life in. And where her entire life *was*. And shortly afterward, her husband, the last of her kin, died of shock from the nuclear bombing. \n\nEver since that day, she sat patiently at the bus stop. The bus never came, it hadn't come in years. But one day, she hoped that the bus would return and allow her to go back into the town. To see her family. To see her home.\n\nOne last time. ",
"The old woman waited at the bus stop. Armed only with an umbrella, she was seemingly unaware of the chaotic remains of the town around her.\n\nA bus full of bandits noticed the woman as they cruised the streets and unanimously decided to loot her. It was a dog-eat-dog world now, and the top dogs would survive.\n\nThey pulled up, overshooting the stop by a few yards, and began piling out, chuckling and discussing before exiting the vehicle. A confused chorus echoed in the empty streets as they looked back to the bus stop, now as empty as the road behind them.\n\nThe sound of a gunshot and an engine revving caught their attention as the bus began to accelerate. Cries of confused rage and curses to the driver slowly died out as the body of their driver rolled out of the side.\n\nA high-pitched cackling echoed through the empty streets as the old woman flailed her umbrella out of the driver's window, before pulling the umbrella in and driving to a safe zone to examine her loot."
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[WP] A powerful demon has been pursuing a relationship with you, and you finally sit them down to set some boundaries.
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"At this point my garage looked more like an ossuary than a place to store cars and tools. Morbid arrangements of human skulls, spines and rib cages sat wherever they would fit, each one adorned with the partially melted license plates of the unwilling bone donors' vehicle. I was going to have to do something about the influx of the damned things before the precious remaining floor space got filled, namely talking to the demoness who has been leaving them here every other day for the past two weeks. \n\n*Why couldn't she have just kept leaving car parts?* I think to myself as I pull out my phone, intending to shoot her a text. The realization that I don't actually know how to contact her hits me, and just as suddenly, a memory of a smaller package attached to her first gift to me, sparks in my head. Quickly heading upstairs to my office, I pull the round parcel from one of my desk's drawers. Cutting the end open with my knife, I withdraw a scroll of black parchment bound to an ornately carved brass roller capped by chrome skulls. Unfurling it, I find written upon in it bright red ink a sigil not unlike the cross-section of a V engine, a phone number with a +666 country code, and the initials C.S.\n\nI set the number and initials into a new contact and bring up a new message chain as I walk back down to the garage to open the door.\n\n> Hey C, there's something I need to talk with you about. Could you come over ASAP?\n\nNo sooner than I put my phone back in my pocket, my text alert goes off. Retrieving my phone, I see that C has replied.\n\n> Be there in a minute, heartfire ;)\n\n\n> There's a spot in the garage open, so don't worry about finding parking on the street.\n\nLess than 60 seconds after hitting \"send\", a blood red 1970 Chevelle SS with side pipes and a massive supercharger turns into my driveway and slows to a stop in the empty garage spot, its loud exhaust pounding my eardrums momentarily before C cuts the ignition. \"I see you took getting here in a minute literally, C.\" I jest as she steps out of the car. \"When you can open portals at will your travel times drop a lot if you need 'em to.\" she says as she comes around the front of the Chevelle, a fanged smile on her face. \"Come on in.\" I say, gesturing for her to follow me. \n\nWe make our way to the living room and I take a seat at one end of the couch as C sits down at the other end, folding her arrow-tipped tail neatly onto her lap. \"What is it you wanted to talk about, heartfire?\" She asks, again calling me \"heartfire\", which I assume is the demonic equivalent to \"sweetheart\". Bringing my thoughts back to the task at hand, I mentally line up the questions I want answers to. \"You can start by properly introducing yourself. I'd like to be able to call you by something other than an initial.\" I look her in the eye as I speak, taking in the faint glow of her pupil-less plasma blue irises and their contrast to the black sclera around them. \"I am Cinderothkar, 25th child of Tharsorok the Immolator, Lord of Wrath and patriarch of the Scoria clan.\" She pauses for a moment to scoot closer to me. \"I'd like it if I was just Cinder to you.\"\n\nCinder extends her right hand towards me and I put mine out in return. Fingers grasp palms and squeeze. Her bright red skin is hot, but not uncomfortably so, like clothes fresh out of the dryer. Neither of us move to let go of the other's hand. \"The next thing I want to talk about is the reason I asked you to come here.\" My expression and tone becoming serious, \"I need you to stop it with the most recent type of...gifts.\" Cinder's eyes drop, her pride clearly having taken a hit. \"Were the bone decorations not to your liking, Alex?\" Her voice was tinged with sadness, which made my heart hurt more than I would have expected.\n\n\"Cinder, it's not that I don't like the aesthetic. In fact it has a morbid beauty that I quite like. The problem is that I now have enough recent human remains lying around in my garage to put me in prison for the rest of my life. I definitely don't want that and it doesn't seem like that's what you want either.\" She says nothing, her eyes distant and her face tensed in hard thought. Seconds stretch to feel like minutes before Cinder breaks the silence. \"You're right heartfire, I don't want you to be imprisoned. What I do want, is you.\" \n\nEvery thought in my head came screeching to a halt. A warrior of Hell just made it plain that she wants to date me, my face burning as the realization hit me. My last human girlfriend tried to make me choose between her and my beloved Camaro SS, so I dumped her right then and there. Cinder's ownership of a modded Chevelle at least gave me peace of mind that that sort of thing wouldn't happen again. She seemed to be a genuinely nice person too, even if she was a demon, so why not give her a chance? As if I needed even more convincing, Cinder had a mix of hellish beauty and adorability that really resonated with me.\n\nAs I regain focus on the world outside my head, I notice that Cinder has scooted even closer and is staring intently into my eyes. \"I want you too, Cinder. I think we can make this work.\" Her face lit up and a very toothy grin broke out, I swear the glow of her eyes went up by a few lumens too. \"But no more human skeleton trophies. Period.\" Sternly reminding her of the one condition she needed to abide by. \n\nCinder giggles playfully in response before leaning in and placing a smoldering kiss on my right cheek. \"Alright, Alex darling. I won't make any more bone trophies. But I will still be getting you car parts and there's nothing you can do to stop that.\" She lets go of my hand to nuzzle her head into my chest, her dark blood red horns lightly pressing against the left side of my face and her right hand now resting on my left forearm. \"Why would I want to?\" I ask as I pull my right arm out from under her and wrap it around the lower section of her ribs. As we begin to doze off from each other's warmth, she coils her tail around my right forearm.\n\nBeing in a relationship with a Wrath demoness should prove interesting, to say the least.",
"I Never thought I'd find myself in a situation like this. Sitting here at the park with a beautiful...something. It started weeks ago when I first bumped into her, literally of course.it was at the local mall near our college, I wasn't paying attention and we knocked each other over. I helped her pick up her things and when I looked at her, for a split second everything in my body screamed, then I blinked and it was just this girl I didn't know that fell somewhere on the border between hot and cute.\n\nEven now looking at her she seems like a normal girl with long dark hair and a body most guys would fight over, but when I focus I see past the illusion. deep purple to black skin, her head and tors were mostly the same save for her eyes and the thick black leathery flesh dress she seemed to naturally wear. her arms and legs were like coiled goopy black tentacles that moved and shifted all the time and ended with hands and feet that could easily be used sharp, chitinous weapons.\n\n**\"As much as I like that you're staring, didn't you say you wanted to talk?\"** she chuckled in a way that seemed all too innocent for what she was.\n\n\"R-right.\" I stammered, I blinked and she was back to being a cute girl for the moment. \"Look I get that for whatever reason you've been chasing after me. but this shit has got to stop.\"\n\nThe look of hurt that spread across her face, both faces even, were like a spike to my heart.\n\n**\"what do you mean?\"** she asked, I could tell she was trying to act innocent.\n\n\"Well...over the last month or so every girl I ever thought about talking to has had some kind of psychological break or an accident that put them in the hospital. I've been mysteriously receiving gifts related to my interests even things I know are impossible to get. I almost killed myself with that functional lightsaber by the way. And-\"\n\n**\"Stop,\"** she growled angrily, immediately looking guilty when she noticed my frightened stare. **\"I get it.\"**\n\n\"Alright...well. Do you have a name?\" I asked slowly.\n\n**\"Nata-\"**\n\n\"Real name.\"\n\nShe looked around for a moment before saying in a voice that was surprisingly regal, **\"I am Norixiarel Princess of the abyss.\"**\n\n\"Ok, Can I call you Nori?\"\n\n**\"S-sure, so long as there are no other demons around,\"** she said quietly as she as a family passed us by.\n\n\"Great, so why are you so hung up on me anyway? hell, why are you even here?\" I asked once the family was out of earshot.\"\n\n**\"Things in the hells are...changing. The demon lords have all sent their children to earth to both hones whatever skills they might need for corrupting souls while they were at war. But the war has long since ended so now they've simply decided to let us stay as long as we want while treaty terms are made. Earth isn't a horrible place and the sun...\"** Nori paused to look at the sky, and again I found myself thinking who she was didn't suit what she was. **\"Having to hide my true form anytime I am not alone makes me miserable. I noticed you saw through my disguise when we first met and when you hardly reacted I felt I had to have you.\"**\n\n\"You know you sound like an anime character right now right?\" I chuckled.\n\n**\"One of my classmates got me hooked on the kind with demon princesses in them a few years ago.\"**\n\n\"Well, I can't say I don't like those too. So if it'll keep you from mentally breaking random girls I guess we could give it a try.\" I sighed, \"That'll be my first rule, no hurting people to get my attention. Second, no surprise gifts that shouldn't exist. Third, I get to add rules as needed just in case something weird happens. Deal?\"\n\n**\"If my father knew a mortal was telling me what to do he'd have you killed.\"** Nori said with a smile, **\"I guess I'll have to make sure he doesn't find out.\"**\n\n\"Great,\" I said smiling back, then I remembered what she mentioned earlier, \"Did you say there were other demons around?\"",
"Another day, another incessant banging at the front door. The neighbours must have thought i was in with the wrong crowd at this point. It was still early, incredibly so, in the morning. She always did this. To dutifully act as an alarm clock for her love or out of a strange demonic sense of sadism, i didn't know. I had tried to ignore her plenty of times, I even reinforced the door to dampen the noise but the demonic presence had an endless wellspring of strength to use to pound it into submission. \n\n....Maybe if i put a booby trap on it?\n\nI shook my head, dismissing the thought as i tried to goad myself out of the bed. This had to end, before the sleep deprivation cost me my job. My apartment was hardly the most luxurious and it was unlikely i'd be able to find a place cheaper if i tried.\n\nWith each step i took towards the door, the violent noise began to die down. Right, supernatural demon, can sense people. Out of groggy, ill-conceived spite, i simply stood in front of the door, letting her wait for just a while longer.\n\nBig mistake.\n\nThe poor oak wood was suddenly pierced by a burning arm, the sudden light causing me to cringe. When my gaze returned to the door....well doorway, my only barrier was gone, absentmindedly thrown out of the complex. Instead, i met eyes with her. Lilim.\n\n\"Do you always have to be like this?\" \n\nMost young men who imagine a demoness imagine a more...human demonic lover. Sure, she had the general figure and maybe face of an attractive, curvy woman but that was were similarities ended. The normal, soft skin of a human was replaced by a grey, hard, almost decayed material. I hadn't touched it but it looked like rock. Two large horns, make of the same rock-like material curved around the side of her scalp, slowly rising until it got out of the way of her crimson hair. Her hair was an interesting oddity. It was long, flowed the same way a human's would however there were flickers of ember everywhere, occasionally leaving her hair to die out, causing little pockets of smoke to always surround her. She smelled like a burning building, quite literally. It had thrown me into a panic the first time i'd met her. Her eyes, instead of white, had black sclera. Her iris, yellow, had a subtle glow to it, an almost piercing gaze directed to anything that caught her attention. Her forehead was adorned with a singed four-pointed diamond, seemingly always looking as if it was freshly burnt on. Lilim's tail, similar to her skin in colour was almost reptilian, the strange trident-like tip always present to remind me not to piss her off. Of course, she wore no clothing. No demon did apparently but in it's place, her long, charred hair seemed to hug her frame, covering anything she might not want to show. However, her lack of coverings showed a multitude of burns, scars and even a bruise or two. According to Lilim at least, she was a warrior not to be trifled with, advice i had been trying to take for weeks, not matter how much she insisted on clinging to me.\n\n\"Answer me already! You kids are all the same, i swear...\"\n\n\"I'm twenty three.\" I deadpanned, i always enjoyed this part of the routine.\n\n\"And i'm five hundred and sixty four.\" She sighed, annoyance clear on her face.\n\n\"Doesn't that make you...\" I'd somehow managed a playful smile at this point, my annoyance slowly subsiding.\n\nFire burst to life in Lilim's extended hand but i wasn't worried. She'd not once harmed me before. \"Something akin to a paedophile by your human standards yes but not according to a demon's. We've been over this!\" \n\n\"And you keep making it entertaining.\" I must have had the most shit-eating grin on my face because instead of pouting like a child as usual, Lilim somehow conjured another door into existence and slammed it shut behind her. Her eyes were literally ablaze, promising righteous fury if i didn't make it up to her, quick.\n\nI promptly backed up all the way to the sofa in the back of the small apartment and timidly offered this demon a seat.\n\n.\n.\n.\n\nWe sat there in silence for a good five or so minutes. Lilim hated it like this, which was always why she tried to keep things loud an chaotic. Why the silence today? I could almost feel her deflate, the usually bravado and gleeful clingyness gone. Against my instincts, i began to worry.\n\n\"What's wrong?\" She flinched but the sound of my voice guided her gaze to meet mine. For the first time in...ever, Lilim seemed resigned.\n\n\"...I'm..sorry...for being such a hindrance all the time...I know you've never wanted me here and i've probably scared any girls you might have liked off...That Jessica seemed nice...I just wanted to come here one last time, to tell you i'll leave you alone now.\"\n\nHer frame shifted, away from my shoulder, to get up. \n\nMy first emotion wasn't relief. In fact, i could feel an ache growing within my chest. Lilim, despite her demonic nature, had been remarkably good to me these past few weeks. There was always a gleefully evil spin to it, like when she conjured up a coffee machine for me, only for it to blow up in my face after one cup, but whenever i needed something, be it a favour or much needed support Lilim was always there.\n\nI grabbed her by the wrist, halting her in her tracks. The demon slowly turned to face me, a blush visible even under her strange skin. There was hope in those amber eyes, hope i didn't have the heart to destroy.\n\n\"I...I guess we could give it a shot.\"\n\nAlready, Lilim was moving to pounce but i raised a hand in front of her face, the serious expression on my face just enough to make her stop.\n\n\"But! We're setting some rules first.\"\n\n\"But that's no fair! You love my pranks!\" She pushed herself up against me, both to tease me and retaliate against this supposed injustice.\n\n\"You blew up my TV last week! The replacement for the one you blew up the week before because you tried and failed at cooking!\"\n\n\"But that cake was delicious!\" Lilim cheered. She was far too gleeful for that catastrophe. I could easily recall that day. Never again.\n\n\"It was literally just chunks of flavoured charcoal...\" \n\nShe playfully giggled. \"Exactly! I'm used to just charcoal.\" \n\n\"Rule number one: I cook. Rule number two: No fireblasts. Rule Number Three: Keep your demon duties of torturing, stealing babies, bartering for souls and anything else related to being a demon, out of this house.\"\n\n\"Bu-\"\n\n\"Would you rather sleep on the sofa?\" I gave her a firm, disciplinary stare.\n\n\"I-WaitIGetToStayInBedWithYou?!\" \n\n.\n.\n.\n\n\"Yes. If you follow the rules.\"\n\nLilim's head softly landed on my shoulder, her firm arms wrapping around my frame. \"...Thank you.\" She buried her head in my chest, a content sigh escaping her lips. \n\nI smiled. She may have been the most outlandish choice of woman one could make but...well, she deserved a chance. I returned her embrace slowly.\n\nPerhaps, this could work out.",
"\"Just call me Mei\" she says as she hogged down some mystery meat. \"Yes, I was the one in your dreams. As powerful as I am, your dreams seem to go the same a way everytime; disaster\" she continued. \"I chose Mei over my real name for my sake, names are powerful you know\" punctuated by a chuckle.\n\nThere I was with my cup tea frozen with fear and confusion. This demon's been the cause of my trauma, the sleepless nights and amplifying my suicidal tendencies. \"Ms. Lee\" I say, still remembering her full pseudoname she told me in my dreams \"Just call me Mei, like you always do\" she interrupted with a smile. Her smile is not so sweet as I remembered, more like taunting. \"Right Mei, look, I think you know just how much you affected my life\" she frowned \"Yea well, now that you're here, maybe we can actually make this work, but I have to outline some rules\" I can see she was eager to listen.\n\n\"Firstly, stop eating that strange meat, especially if its raw.\" She pouted \"And 2nd, stop being in my dreams\" she protested but I cut her off \"And finally, if I found out this is all a ploy to kill me I will try my best to beat your ass if it means I'll be dead\" she grinned and bit her lower lip \"Kinky\" the arousal in her voice as she leaned in close \"In all seriousness, you wouldn't be able to kill me even if you try\" and giggled.\n\nThe talk went well I guess, I'm still alive so that's something. First day of living with her wasn't bad I guess. The night however was the worse. She didn't hijack my dreams no, her body was just so hot sometimes, feels like having a heater under the covers. A radiator that keeps grinding on your junk!",
"I sat down on my bed and he stood in the middle of room, his raven hair cropped right at the base of the neck. His unnaturally yellow eyes in bright contrast with his hair color. It was weird. He was wearing a black suit, a black tie and perfect formal attire. He looked an extra from the wolf of wallstreet save for the unnatural eye coloration.\n\nLet me introduce myself. I am Alex, a 20 year old average college girl who was stupid enough to opt for engineering. Now you might be asking why is there a weird man standing in the middle of my room. Good question. I had no clue either. \n\n**Can I…help you?** I said slowly, my voice no doubt betraying my feeling of uncomfortable awkwardness.\n\n He just stood there confused, tilting his head.\n\n**You can see me? Hmmm…Interesting.** He said. There was something about his voice, not the gnarly demonic I was expecting but his voice was a few octaves lower, more bass than a normal human voice should have.\n\n**Wh…what are you?** I said slowly getting up. My breath was becoming fast and my heart was starting to pound. I was going to have a straight up panic attack. I would run but his gaze was pinning me down, scrutinizing me like a hawk watching a rabbit, wondering if I was worth the dive.\n\n**Calm down.** he finally said **Let me introduce myself. I am apollyon though you humans know me as Abbadon, the angel of abyss, the lord of locusts, bringer of plague.**\n\nI just stared at him.\n\n**You-you’re the devil?**\n\n**Satan? Hardly.** he chuckled. **He barely involves himself personally in any human affairs nowadays.**\n\n\n**I’m not selli-**\n\n**I don’t want your soul** he interjected casually, brushing his shoulder and talking a seat on the chair opposite to my bed. \n\n**I see you are still afraid. Maybe you should sit down. Have some water.** he said, a glass of water materliazing in his hand. He offered it to me. **Go on, I have done nothing to it.** he replied to look of I’m-not-drinking-that I gave him.\n\nI took it but in doing so my fingers brushed his. Holy hell they were cold.\n\n**Ah yes. In spite of what you humans think hell doesn’t burn hot, it tends to be more cold. Extremely so to be honest. So you’ve got your thermodynamics wrong there.** He chuckled.\n\n**Sorry…Hey you read my mind!**\n\n**Yeah you know, the lord of the deepest hells and all.** He said tapping his forehead.\n\n**I’m sorry** I said sitting down taking long, deep breaths. **I-I just thought you would be more demon-y and horns and hooves and stuff.**\n\nHe chuckled. **Well only if you could see my true form on the seventh plane.**\n\n**Sooooo…what do you want if you’re not here for my soul?**\n\n**You see…**he said but trailed off, his gaze turning to my door. **Be right back** he said and with a blink he was gone.\n\nFor a week I convinced myself that I was seeing things, that I had taken a huge chug of the cold medicine; that was it. There’s no way Abbadon had come from hell to meet me…After a week I had almost forgotten before that horrible, horrible Monday. I was in the bathroom, just touching up on my gloss; I froze as I saw it. A shadow, not my own but taller, awfully skinny and emaciated with long, lanky arms and unnaturally long fingers. I stared at it for a good five second before it moved, reaching out for me.\n\nI ran, almost skittering across the bathroom floor but fell down as pain shot through my shoulder. It had grabbed me and I could feel it awfully cold hand on my shoulder. It was so cold that it was burning my skin through my sweater. My vision darkened as my consciousness flickered and as soon as it was there, it was gone. The pain was gone.\n\nI turned around trying to support myself against the wall as I looked to see…It was Abbadon. He was holding the shadow against the wall, pinning it down by the neck. The shadow was flailing against his grip, screaming inhumanely. I could barely stomach its shrieking cries. It stopped flailing, its attempts to free itself from Abbadon’s grip became weaker and its head lolled to the side. Abbadon let him go and the shadow unceremoniously flumped to the ground. \n\nTwo men in dark suits entered the room and grabbed the shadow by its shoulders heaving it up.\n\n**Take him to my study. I will like to have a …chat with him** Abbadon’s deep voice said with an emphasis.\n\n**Sir.** The men nodded and walked out of the door carrying the shadow with them.\n\nThe next few hours I was in bed, my fever, sudden shock and exhaustion leaving me at the mercy of this demon from hell…who incidentally had carried me to the bed, brought me a glass of water and some medicine. Then he proceeded to apply some sort of medicine to my shoulder. I winced but couldn’t really put up a protest in my half drowsy state of sleep. He checked my temperature by putting his hand on my forehead. His cold head was a welcoming comfort against the raging fever my body was battling. I barely remember grabbing his cool hand to keep it on my head, I barely remember him sitting next to my pillow and I barely remember falling asleep.\n\nI woke up groggy and still tired but feeling a little better than had before. By better I mean I felt like dying and my body felt like a ton of bricks. He was there, casually sitting in the chair opposite to my bed staring at me with his unblinking, yellow, eternal gaze. I blinked and sat up.\n\n**How are you feeling?**\n\n**Better** I said, my voice rasping in my throat. This was bad, my throat was burning. He got up and pored me a glass of water beside my bed table and went back to sitting down on the chair. A little time passed, my breath evened as my head still ached with the fever.\n\n**Thanks…for everything I suppose.** I said quietly.\n\nHe said nothing but his gaze never faltered.\n\n**Hey what happened?**\n\n**A ghul** he said his voice a little louder, deeper, more gravely, so much so that the room shook a little with it. **I sensed it a week ago when I was talking to you. I was tracking it down but it evaded me…**\n\n**Ghul? Why would you send your ghul…**\n\n**It wasn’t me.**\n\n**Then wh-**\n\n**Let me explain. You are one of the only remaining direct descendant of Abel. Your soul is very exquisite and is very sought out in hell. So demons have been trying to get their hands on it for quite some time now. Since you were born actually. I’ve dragged half of them from hell and back…literally.** He said a slight smirk across his face.\n\n**Is that why you’re here? For my soul?**\n\n**No, not really.** he shrugged **You see Alex, there are few things as powerful as me. I am Apollyon, the first of the angels who were cast down, the lord of locusts. Your soul in anyone’s hands would significantly change this status quo. So I’m here to make sure no one gets you.**\n\n**I see. Wait…you said that demons have been after me since I was born?**\n\n**Yes and before you ask yes…I’ve been watching over you since you were a toddler eating dirt and stuffing pencils up your nose.**\n\n**Hey!** I protested. He chuckled but waved me down.\n\n**There’s chicken soup on your table. Eat it. It’ll help. I’ll give you some time to rest.**\n\nI nodded and watched him disappear. Somehow I felt weirdly unsafe without him. I mean he was a powerful demon from hell but…I don’t know. It just felt better with him around you know. After a few days I was doing better. My throat was still a bit raspy but my fever was gone and I was attending classes. Apollo…yes I called him Apollo now. It was an okay-ish nickname for a demon lord I suppose. I came back to my room and there he was sitting comfortably in the safe chair.\n\n\n**Hey Apollo. You didn’t get bored here did you?**\n\nHe smirked, his pearly white and slightly serrated teeth showing through his tangle of raven hair.\n\n**So Alex…I wanted to ask you something.**\n\n**Sure** I said, tossing my bag aside and pulling out the snickers bar I had waiting to munch on the whole day. \n\n**You want to go on a date?**\n\nI coughed, inhaling a largish piece of the chocolate, pounding my chest to get it down.\n\n**Stop messing with me Apollo.** I said as I swallowed the crunchy-peanuty chocolate. He walked forward and pressed me against the wall. His face suddenly close to mine, his body close, not quite but close enough. My breath was stuck in my throat, my snickers had fallen off from my hand. Just as suddenly he was here, the next moment he was sitting in the chair, smirking like the smug bastard he was. I hated when he popped in and out of reality like that. My snickers...No…He was such a prick. I opened my mouth to yell some choice obscenities in French, Spanish and English but he cut me off.\n\n**I just wanted to see how you react.** He said that damned smirk still on his face. Oh he was so done. I was about to give him a piece of my mind but he beat me to it.\n\n**So you want to go on a date with me?**\n\nI am Alex and this is the story of is how I ended up dating Abbadon, the angel of the abyss.\n\n\n**>AN: Sorry if it's a bit long. I got carried away**\n\n",
"“…what? What did you say?” Sibia said, her face going slack with shock. \n\nI sighed. “I said yes, Sibia. I’ll agree to give you, to give us, a fair shot.” I kept my tone light, gentle even, as I watched her face. \n\nSibia, for once in the six months that I had known her, seemed at a loss for words. Her onyx eyes glazed over and became distant and unfocused while her mind struggled to keep up with what her ears had heard. That was fine with me. I patiently waited for her to really understand the significance of what I had told her. \n\nFinally, she scrunched up her face in surprised contemplation. The movement made the little horns on her forehead shift downward in a way that I told myself was most definitely not adorable. “Really? You’re sure?” She shook her head, frowning. “I haven’t even finished courting you, Leon. And I want to do it properly.” She said this for the millionth time, sounding as determined as ever. Then she took a step towards him, her dark eyes serious and genuine. “According to my people’s customs, the male isn’t supposed to give an answer until the female provides at least another month of – “\n\n“That will not be necessary,” I interrupted her firmly. Inwardly I grimaced, knowing exactly what another month of Sibia’s *gifts* would be like. It would be Hell, pure and simple. I softened my voice and took the final step myself so that we stood merely inches apart. I slowly, gently, reached upward with my right hand to cup her jaw. Her forked tongue flicked out nervously to wet her lips, but I ignored it. I held her eyes with mine. “I’m giving you my answer now, Sib. It’s a yes.” \n\nHer joy finally showed on her face, and her eyes flashed the way a cat’s eyes glow in the night. She let out a little, high squeal of happiness, and I was surprised by the girlishness of the sound. Sibia lunged at me then, crushing herself to me and wrapping her arms around me. She was my height, so we fit together nicely, pelvis to pelvis and chest to chest. I kept my own arms at my sides to enjoy the feeling of her wings’ embrace. I loved her wings. They were black like the rest of her, but soft like well-worn leather. And they were lined with tiny tendrils of gold, which shimmered when she moved. \n\nDespite my agreement, I needed to discuss with her a few details about our relationship if we were really going to try to make this work. “Sibia, we need to go over a few ground rules first.” I gently extricated myself from her grip, realizing that I was only successful because she let me. She searched my face and opened her mouth to reply, no doubt to tell me that she wanted to continue the courting ritual, but I silenced her with a brush of my fingers over her full lips. Her eyes flared at the intimate contact, but I would not be distracted. \n\n“Come, talk with me,” I urged, and I led her to the cough in my living room. Today she had surprised me at home, popping in when I was in the middle of making lunch, but sandwich lay long-forgotten on the counter now. That, in addition to her courting gifts, was another thing we would need to discuss. Sibia had a habit of seeing me whenever she wanted; she would just pop into my personal space without asking or confirming it with me. \n\nShe glanced at the couch accusingly before sitting awkwardly, folding in her wings so she wouldn’t crush them. I almost smiled, but I didn’t allow myself the indulgence because I needed to stay focused. Sibia had such a strong personality that it was a wonder, sometimes, that I was able to say anything at all. She was one of the most powerful demons, though, being the sole offspring of the ancient and legendary Demon King. \n\nSibia’s eyes landed on me as she sat uncomfortably but primly on my couch. “What is it that we need to discuss, Leon? Tell me.” Her eyes were sharp and focused, reminding me once again that she was a natural-born predator while I was just a human. Not that I had forgotten for even a moment. \n\n“First of all, we need to discuss the nature of these….gifts.” I said, using her word to describe the “presents” she had been leaving me. Things had started out harmless enough – a pair of underwear here (so what if they were short and red?) and a bottle of lubricant there (so what if it was strawberry flavored? Not that Leon had checked, not at all). According to Sibia, her gifts were a normal part of the courting process. And as a succubus breed, it was only natural that her chosen gifts were primarily sexual in nature. But then things had gotten weird. Weirder than being courted by an all-powerful female succubus demon. Sibia had swiftly moved beyond the tame stuff and had proudly delivered me a pornography video. Home-made. I had gullibly played the DVD, never imagining the possibility of its sexually explicit contents. I had turned bright red even as all of my blood went south in a heated rush, and I had fumbled to shut it down as quickly as possible. When Sibia had returned to my heated embarrassment and frustration, she had calmly explained that she was proving that she could take care of me by providing for me and physically satisfying me. Apparently, it was a female demon’s job to make sure all of her male’s needs were met. Her gifts had only gotten worse as the months progressed. \n\nShe tiled her head curiously to the side. “What about my gifts?” I could tell that, while she probably knew where I was going and disagreed with me, she was willing to listen respectfully. \n\n“They’re wonderful, really, Sib, but you just can’t go around making random porno movies with random people.” I said this in my most reasonable tone. I never admitted to her that I hadn’t watched the whole video. In fact, since that first unfortunate glimpse of the first DVD, I had never watched any of the additional videos she sent me. \n\n“But I wasn’t even in the videos. I would never do that to you, Leon!” She seemed genuinely confused. “I was merely proving to you my ability to physically satisfy. The only one I want in that way is you.” \nMy cheeks burned softly at her blatant statement. She had said this to me countless times, but it never got easier to hear. I was surprised, however, to hear that she wasn’t personally in any of the videos. That she didn’t participate. As a succubus, that must have been really difficult for her. Although I still wasn’t a fan of the pornographic videos, I suddenly had a new insight into the debts of her gifts. Sibia had also proved that she could be loyal. \n\nThe surprise must have shown on my face. Her eyes narrowed dangerously. “Tell me, Leon. Did you not watch the videos that I made for you?” \n\nI realized that the admission was going to make me seem undesirable and ungrateful, but I owed her the truth. I wanted us to be honest in our relationship. “I will confess that I did not. I only watched the first video, and even then, only the first few minutes.” \n\nHer response was a low, sultry laugh that sent shivers of awareness down my spine. Startled, I looked up at her, eyes wide. Sibia was looking at me with such desire that my heart began to pound loudly in my chest. She grinned, and I knew she could hear it. “Then we shall have to watch them together, Leon.” ",
"You stare.\n\nE'hopliktxh is crouched over in your living room, his horns scraping the ceiling. Your *freshly painted* ceiling, mind you. Flakes of sunshine-yellow paint drift down onto his large, red shoulders, taunting you. \n\n\"Okay.\" You exhale and place your groceries very gently to the side, then cross your arms. \"Explain.\"\n\n\"It was cold.\" E'hopliktxh looked vaguely guilty, if it was possible for a demon to look guilty.\n\n\"Cold.\" You repeated, disbelieving. I'm almost tempted to walk over and flick him on the nose. \"I've seen you flick away a star because it annoyed you. You were *cold*?\"\n\n\"I just wanted to come inside...\" E'hopliktxh is pouting at you. You're absolutely sure that's a pout. You're also absolutely sure that it's far more adorable than it has any right to be and this is fucking psychological warfare, damn it. \n\n\"Just -\" You sigh. Boundaries, you tell yourself. Your priest told you to set boundaries. \"Okay, listen. We need some rules if this is going to work. I will date you, *if* -\" You pause to glare, because he's looking far too happy and you're not even finished with your sentence yet dammit - \"*- If* you stop wandering in uninvited. And stop hypnotizing stray animals to come live here. I said I liked animals, not that I wanted to live in a zoo.\"\n\nThere's a pause. \"...and then you'll date me?\"\n\nYou drop your face into your hands, and wonder again what you're getting yourself into. What kind of priest encouraged this sort of thing, anyway? \"Yes. And then I'll date you.\"\n\nE'hopliktxh stands up. For joy, you think, but you can't quite tell over the dust and concrete he sends flying everywhere when he jams his head through the ceiling."
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[WP] LATROP Inc. is a company that provides sustainable, cheap energy. It suddenly appeared in 2016 and has been booming since, offering unbelievable prices and becoming a global phenomenon. No one knows how they actually generate the power. Until one day, you discover the company's dark secret.
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"When my car broke down outside the facility, I knew I was fucked. There is no way in Hell I'd be able to afford the insurance after a claim on this old junk heap of a car and I can't afford a new one any time soon...\n\n'Fuck...' I grumbled as I popped the bonnet to get a closer look, only for smoke and fire to shoot upward. 'Fuck!'\n\nI jumped out of the car just before the fire roared into the main compartment of the vehicle, leaving the car well and truly fucked.\n\n'Oh, shit,' I grumbled as I looked around in the mist-covered terrain before I looked at the sign. \"LATROP Inc. Energy Company\".\n\nI could just barely manage to run down the road into the direction that I believed would lead me to the security station and with luck, I had found it. 'Excuse me,' I said, hoping to call to someone inside. 'Excuse me, mate. There... my car's on fire. Can you call someone? Maybe a mechanic?'\n\nI jumped back as a hand slapped itself onto the glass and was pulled down, blood smearing as it did so. I could only hear a muffled scream from inside as something stood up and with its glowing eyes, stared right at me.\n\nI was frozen in fear, and before I knew it the creature leapt out through the window, ready to jump over me and kill me.\n\nThen a metal rod struck its neck, causing it to careen off-course and smack against the ground a few times before finally bleeding out.\n\nBefore I knew it, there was something put over my head and a sharp pain in my neck. I was unconscious within seconds and I had no idea what would happen as a result.\n\n---\n\n'You brought him inside?' I heard one voice ask. 'Why did you do that? You should've just given him an amnesiac and sent him off.'\n\n'No credentials or anything, sir,' another voice said. 'No ID or anything.'\n\n'They were in my car,' I said. 'Which died and burst into flames outside this place.'\n\nThe bag that was over my head was ripped off and before I knew it, I was in some sort of office. Well organized, clean. The place could be more well-lit, I had to say. And the curtains appeared to be down.\n\nTo my surprise, the person sitting behind the desk was a... robot? 'Synthetically-uploaded consciousness operating a highly-advanced, weaponized android frame,' the first voice spoke. 'The first thing on people's minds when they see me.'\n\n'Still think we should just shoot him,' the heavily armed man, covered in red armor standing next to me said as he loaded his shotgun. Obviously one with a skilled trigger finger.\n\n'That will *not* be necessary,' the cyborg said. 'The demons lashed out the second he was near the facility. If we have to bribe the local authorities to close a road for the protection of the people-'\n\n'Did-' I stuttered. 'Did you just say \"Demons\"?'\n\nThere was some flash of light from behind the curtains, and instinctively I grabbed my head in pain, straining the chain that connected the hand- and ankle-cuffs. 'Fuck...'\n\nThe android pulled something from a drawer and walked towards me, grabbed my neck and placed the object onto my neck before there was another jolt of pain. He lowered my hand as he looked into my eye.\n\nWithin seconds the pain in my head was gone and he unlocked the cuffs. 'Have you ever had any encounters with the paranormal?' he asked me.\n\n'Besides an Ouija board and the fact I play Tarot?' I answered. 'Why?'\n\n'Because you're a medium,' he answered. 'Baseline, but in the face of the paranormal, you are certainly influential on the astral realm. Spirits are naturally drawn to you, good or bad.'\n\n'So... the demons killed that guard because I drove by?' I asked him.\n\n'Pretty much,' the cyborg explained. 'Put the fucking gun down, Mathers!'\n\n'Fine,' the guard said as he holstered his weapon.\n\n'That drug I injected you with is a suppressant,' the cyborg explained. 'With it, ghosts are blind to you, and you to them. However, given how rare that talent is and how we need it...'\n\n'Let me get this straight,' I said in confusion. 'LATROP is using *Hell* as an energy source?'\n\n'We have plenty of nuclear weapons on standby,' the cyborg explained. 'And this is better than the alternative. Avoiding a massive energy crisis is second to LATROP's true purpose - preventing cultists from unleashing Hell on Earth.'\n\n'So, how about this?' the cyborg continued as he raised a curtain, showing a massive blue warp in space-time outside the office. 'Option one - we give you a regular dosage of that drug to take and a regular payment to keep your lips sealed. Or, option two - you work for us, hone your powers and search for cultists who are trying to summon demons. Deal?'"
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You are now living two lives, however your two universes are completely separate and you are the only person that exists in both realities. That is, until one day you meet a someone in your dream that decides to show up in your real life.
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[WP] Every time you fall asleep you continue the dream from the previous night. This has been going on your entire life.
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[
"I fell asleep.\nAnd there she was, still as beautiful as the day I met her thirty years ago. \nHer hair is a little thinner now and she’s a little more frail and week and sick, but her eyes still shine and give away her joy and beauty.\nThis was probably going to be the last night that we’d ever spend together. \nThe nurses tell me she has only hours left. \nI hope she dies peacefully and holding my hand. \nIt’s been very hard for myself and Sarah these past few years. \nDay time Me has been sleeping less and getting up more in the middle of the night. \nBut that’s what happens when you get older. \nAnd lord knows we’re all getting older. \nSpending less time together really upset Sarah, I’m sure it made her illness worse. \n\nSarah’s day time self is on her deaths bed also.\nWe dreamed for years about finding each other in the waking world, but when you wake up you forget about here straight away. \nThat’s the way it’s always been. \nWe thought maybe we were from alternate universes. \nI wonder are there other Sarah’s out there in the multiverse.\nWill they all die this evening. \n\nI sat down by her bed and kissed her on her warm paper fore head.\nHer hand was cold to the touch and she’d been unconscious for nearly five days. \nThe drugs keep her painless and unaware. \nI hope that she’s still listening because I’ve been singing to her and telling stories non stop. \nI want to play her some music today, so I put on her head phones and play the Beatles, here comes the sun. \nI can hear the singing from her headphones and as the first chorus finishes her breathing stopped and her chest dipped. \nNurses ran in and began working on her. \nAs I was being lead out of the room I heard a bell ringing. \nIt was an alarm clock. \nOh no, he’s waking up. \nPlease not now, Please\n\n I woke up that morning feeling like shit. I couldn’t face another day of this. I thought about the bridge at my train station. \nI should go down there. \nMaybe\n"
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[WP] You have died. Much to your surprise, you find yourself in Hell. What's more surprising though, is all the demons immediately bow in your presence...
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"I'm not entirely sure how I died to be honest, other than the fact that it hurt. The last thing I remember when I died was that I was on a gurney in the hospital and the nurses were arguing, something about gang violence. Bet I got fucking stabbed, and if *that* was the case then the nurses will turn me away due to anti-gang laws.\n\nThe next thing I knew, I was lying on a scorching, cracked ground as hot air blasted upward at me. I put my hand over my face to protect my face from the heat, only to see that it was... different.\n\nMy skin was red, my nails now pure black and sharp like the talons of an eagle. I looked down and see that my entire body was no longer human; feet were now replaced with hooves, for one thing. I wouldn't say I was precisely fat, but I did need to lose some weight from around my gut. That was gone now, and I had distinguishable and *large* muscles including abdominals and pectorals.\n\n\"So I was now a demon,\" I thought. \"Strange.\"\n\nBut not as strange when I came across another demon, one that was shorter and less thicker than myself which shuddered when it saw me, then dropped to its hands and knees and bowed to me. Several other demons slowly approached me in fear and started bowing in reverence to me as well.\n\n'What the...?' I whispered to myself, in a deep and gravelly voice.\n\n'Surprised?' another said from behind me, causing me to turn.\n\nThe other demon pushed one of my wings(!) aside as he came towards me as the lesser looked at him. 'I would be surprised as well, given the circumstances.'\n\n'Who are you?' I asked him.\n\n'Well, I'm not Lucifer if that's what you're going to ask,' he said. 'But you must know your Old Testament. Do you even know what role Satanael had in the court of Heaven?'\n\n'No...' I admitted.\n\n'The Accuser,' he said as he walked to one of the demons, grabbing it by its horn and snapping it off as the lesser demon cried out in pain. 'Essentially, his role was similar to a persecutor in a mortal courtroom. He's now upper management in this divine correctional facility, making sure that the wheel of reincarnation spins.'\n\n'So, what are we?' I asked.\n\n'The ones that amateur demon worshippers used in human sacrifices without translating the Enochian in those spellbooks,' he said as he rammed his hoof into the skull of the lesser he had already begun tormenting. 'You see this guy? He actually tried to bargain with the guy who stabbed me in the street!'\n\nThe creature merely groaned, words seemingly unfamiliar with the beast.\n\n'He used to be like us, a Prince of Hell,' the other demon said. 'But he tried to convince someone to be sinful, not deter them. So, he got demoted.\n\nHe crushed the lesser demon's head under his hoof before approaching me. The other demon's head then reformed, the blood that was spilled and the brains that were splattered slurping to his neck and fixing themselves back into place.\n\n'Fuck off back to work,' the other prince snapped at him, causing the demon to pull on the ground and swim through the magma that was underneath.\n\n'Are we expected to be unnecessarily cruel?' I asked him.\n\n'Nah, that was just me getting my own payback,' he said with a warm smile as he flicked the enormous hoops attached to his pointed ears. 'Come on. We'll need to talk to Satan, tell him about another sacrifice. Or her. I don't know if they has tits today or not.'\n\n---\n\nThe strange thing about the \"Main offices\", as Lawrence said as we flew there, was that they weren't the chaos of the other circles of Hell. In fact, they weren't even part of the circles, instead being a massive tower floating above Inferno.\n\nWe flew to a round platform at the bottom, folding our wings in and walking up a stairwell into a lush garden as we saw another Prince eating a small lunch. And strangely, he was wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a pair of swimming briefs.\n\n'We have a code five,' Lawrence said to him.\n\n'Fuck, you were just sacrificed?' the other prince said as he looked at me in sympathy. 'Well, get used to being in the tower. It's the closest we'll ever get to Heaven, unfortunately.'\n\n'Then what about my parents?' I asked in concern. 'Mom is still alive and... wait, what about my old man?! He's already dead!'\n\n'You can look that up later,' he said. 'If he's in Heaven, maybe Satan can arrange something. If he's in Hell... well, you can't do anything for him. This place is a nightmare, but it's a *rehab*.'\n\nHe lead me to an elevator and pressed the top button and typed something in. It was a short ride up despite the breakneck speed, and the elevator opened up to a large office with a single woman tapping her feet with headphones in her ears.\n\n'I just love old-school hip-hop, don't you?!' she yelled before removing the earbuds. 'Jack Henderson, 26 and you were just murdered. Karma points towards you going to Purgatory when you died, not virtuous but not yet damned. Killed by a wannabe warlock.'\n\n'So, you know the details,' I said to her. 'And you must be the boss?'\n\n'Satanael,' she answered. 'Angel of Darkness and Divine Retribution. And now that you're a prince of my domain, you should know the ground rules. Don't interfere in someone's punishment, don't try and poach souls of the living... You can go to Purgatory but Heaven is off-limits. And while it's not *exactly* banned... you shouldn't be messing about in the world of the living.'\n\n'Can't check on my ma?' I asked her.\n\nShe gave a pained expression. 'She... died of a heart attack when she heard you were murdered.'\n\n'I'll kill him!' I sneered. 'I'll **KILL** the bastard!'\n\n'Sure,' she said as she handed me a sword. 'Go right ahead.'\n\n'...You're serious?' I asked.\n\n'He used a genuine spell,' she warned. 'The last time a human had one of those books, the Tower of Babel was smitten.'"
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This was an idea that I had flouting around in my head. I’m interested in what you come up with! :D
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[WP] Your a test subject for a new pair of VR headset. When you putt on the headset, you realize that everything you see looks as if it’s from an anime. Now, with the headset attached, you return to your normal life...
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"Nowheresville Oklahoma was a very boring and uninteresting little town. In fact Nowheresville Oklahoma was such a boring and uninteresting little town that the most exciting and interesting thing about it was simply how boring and uninteresting it was. One of the few things people said about Nowheresville Oklahoma, as it was an incredibly boring town and as such there was very little to say about it, was that just like an exciting hobby would draw you in and never become boring no matter how often you did it, Nowheresville would never draw you in no matter how many exciting or new things occured within it. It was for this reason that the Official Board of Tourism of Nowheresville Oklahoma, which contrary to what its name might suggest was in fact not official and not a Board either as its only member and founder was old Mrs. Smith, the woman who would surely have been the town gossip if there was anything to gossip about to begin with in Nowheresville, came up with the saying “You don’t know boring until you know Nowheresville Oklahoma”. This saying was supposedly designed to attract tourists to Nowheresville, and for awhile Mayor Douglas under the Cheap ‘Welcome to Nowheresville Oklahoma’ sign hung a cheaper smaller sign with the saying “You don't know boring until you know Nowheresville Oklahoma” painted in neat lettering on it, after he grew tired of Mrs Smith nagging him to do something with the results of the hard work which took the Official Board of Tourism of Nowheresville Oklahoma all of two minutes. Sadly however the only fruits of the Official Board of Tourism of Nowheresville Oklahoma’s efforts was a single family of tourists, who weren’t even visiting Nowheresville but were merely forced to stop for gas at Ricky Dents gas station, and who also promptly left as soon as they realized just how boring Nowheresville Oklahoma actually was. \n\t\nIt was this very boringness of Daryl Hansen’s home town of Nowheresville Oklahoma that made it the perfect testing ground for Ippan-Mei Electronics newest prototype vr headset, one which they believed could put new life into the most boring of lives by making everything seem like it was in an anime. Daryl Hansen didn’t know what an anime actually was, but nevertheless he was rather excited. Not with an extreme sort of excitement, and not with a so and so excitement either, but Daryl Hansen was excited with a very average excitement. At least a very average excitement outside of Nowheresville, but as average an excitement it might have been outside of Nowheresville it was a record breaking level of excitement inside Nowheresville. It was in fact so exciting within Nowheresville Oklahoma that it convinced Mrs. Hansen that her husband Daryl was possessed by a demon, which having lived her entire mundane life in Nowheresville simply evoked a bored shrug out of her as she continued on with her day. So it was with a very average excitement that Daryl Hansen opened that package which had arrived on an average saturday morning, only to find it contained a gift of veal from his neighbor Elias von Richten the town hunter, and which he then proceeded to open the package that had arrived on the average friday evening before to find the Ippan-Mei Electronics prototype vr glasses. They seemed like a rather average set of vr glasses to Daryl, though he had of course never seen another pair of vr glasses in his life. Average as they might of seemed to him though they evoked as much attention as it was possible to evoke from a Nowheresvillite, which was to say very little outside of Nowheresville Oklahoma. It was with this very little excitement that Daryl Hansen examined the prototype vr glasses, and after examining them he donned them and turned around to wish his wife goodbye, only to notice there was something off with her. His wife had cat ears and a cat tail all of a sudden, at least Daryl Hansen assumed it was all of a sudden. It was of course possible he had simply never noticed them in their over twenty years of marriage until now. The coloration of everything also seemed off, like those crappy figurines Ricky Dent collected with the disproportionate bodies. In fact his wife had a disproportionate body too now, and also looked much younger. Confused further he stepped outside his house and noticed all of the teenagers were dressed in variations of what seemed like the military uniforms young people wore in Ricky Dents posters that lined his house. Suddenly the realization hit Daryl Hansen of just what anime was. Anime was anything modeled after Ricky Dents shack. Satisfied with his realization Daryl Hansen decided to go fishing until sundown like any other saturday, with the prototype vr glasses from Ippan-Mei Electronics still on his face. After all, nothing exciting ever happens in Nowheresville Oklahoma.\n"
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[WP] Turns out that God actually was restricting evil in people, but only so much. For only a single day, Satan has triumphed and the true evil of man is allowed to flourish.
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"We all sat around the TV, eagerly awaiting the news. By this time, the beers had all been emptied, the food all gone cold and stale. Most of us were close to giving up on the result, as morn was approaching all too quickly. But we still held on to a glimmer of hope that we would hear some sort of good news. To this point we figured that if there was a God of some kind, we wouldn't have ever heard these words as they resonated through the ears of humans all over the world...\n\n\"It has been called! Donald J Trump is the President of the United States!\""
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[WP] A mad billionaire has rigged a doomsday device and will set it off unless a random man, Rudy, correctly answers whether the Earth is flat or round. Rudy is a devout Flat-Earther and the world has just two days to convince him of our planet's spherical nature.
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"\"Look, Rudy. This is simple - you say 'round', and you get one billion dollars, ok?\"\n\n\"Ok... But it ain't.\"\n\n\"Yes, yes ok, but you have to *say* it's round, ok?\"\n\n\"Sure, sure.\"\n\n\"Good, glad that's settled.\"\n\n\"But it ain't.\"\n\n\"No! No... Sure it is, Rudy, but you say that, at all, any mention of Earth being flat, and this maniac will destroy the Earth. So please, don't say that. Just *'the Earth is round'*, and then silence until I give you your cheque, ok?\"\n\n\"Yup, I get ya'. Why's he want me to say this anyway?\"\n\n\"Because he thinks you're wrong, and he wants to prove a point. If you don't agree with him, he'll flatten the whole planet!\"\n\n\"Joke's on him, that won't do no good, s'already flat!\"\n\n\"Yes, yes absolutely, but it'll flatten everyone on it too, you see?\"\n\n\"Can't have that.\"\n\n\"No.\"\n\n\"So I says to him 'the Earth is round', then I shuts up, and gets my cheque?\"\n\n\"Exactly.\"\n\n\"What an idjit.\"\n\n\"I know..\""
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[WP] It spreads in the silence.
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"I felt its presence in the room. In truth, I was responsible for it. I sat frozen in my chair, not knowing how to deal with it. And what about Matt? He was prone to bouts of panic. I dreaded to think what he'll do if he notices it. I had to do something. I had to stop the spread.\n\nKeep talking. Don't acknowledge it. \n\n\"So, Matt. Got much planned for the weekend?\" I could feel it behind me, I sensed it passing over my shoulder towards him. Keep him talking. Keep him distracted.\n\n\"Yeah I do actually,\" he replied, smiling up at me. \"I'm going on holiday with my parents. We're going to - ...\"\n\nHe froze. Fuck. I need to distract him. There's no telling what he'll do otherwise. \n\n\"Where, Matt? Where are you going?\"\n\nHe looked at me, face twitching. Fear in his eyes. I knew he knew.\n\n\"Dude...\"\n\n\"Shh,\" I say to him. \"Shh, Matt. Don't feed it. Ignore it. Keep talking.\"\n\n\"Dude...\" he repeated, his voice reserved and still.\n\n\"Matt, please. Keep talking. It's the only way we'll get past it.\"\n\n\"Dude... did you fart?\"\n\n\"Shh, Matt please. Shhh\"",
"#### V-LOG ENTRY - 11/23/2019\n\n> Classical music plays quietly in the background.\n\nI've got the whole facility to myself. Electricity, water, food - this place was meant to be entirely self-sufficient, able to withstand a nuclear attack, to house a thousand people for upwards of 2 years. At my current rate of consumption, the facility will still be running and habitable centuries after I die of old age. Eventually, the food will go bad I guess...\n\n> He takes a can of spaghetti and holds it up to the camera.\n\nBut most of its canned and stored in nitrogen, so I think I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, oh, I don't know, 35 years from now. No, this was a lucky break, for sure. If they'd had time to change the password I would have been fucked. My ipad only had a few more hours of battery life, and it only take a minute. \n\nLuckily, I have everything hooked up to the internal speaker system now. The whole facility is on a 24/7 loop of classical music - which I downloaded from Piratebay. Eventually, of course, their servers are gonna go down like everyone else. But, not yet.\n\nIt's still doesn't feel safe, you know? I just have this fear of the music going off while I sleep. I guess that would be for the best, I probably wouldn't even know what happened. But still, it's a pretty terrifying prospect. \n\nAnyway, I'll check in, now and again I guess. Nice to have someone to talk to. Later.\n\n***********\n\n#### V-LOG ENTRY - 11/29/2019\n\n> He is wearing a different T-shirt, eating chicken curry out of an aluminum can. Classical music can be heard.\n\nHey hey hey, welcome back to the greatest show on Earth. Music's held out, as you can see. Still here. Still kickin'. \n\nNot much to do in here, I'll be honest. They don't really have any books, and so I've been spending most of the time on what's left of the internet. It's like playing digital Russian Roulette, except most of the chambers are filled with bullets. Every day more websites go down, and most of the ones that are still up haven't had new content in weeks. \n\nThe Guardian's servers are still going strong, but there hasn't been a new article since the outbreak. The front page still has that shadow of a man's head pictured with a yellow question mark in its center, and a headline here, I'll turn the camera. \n\n> The camera turns to a computer screen, a website is visible but obscured by the screen refresh rate.\n\nThat doesn't look great - OK, I'll give it my most dramatic reading. \"W.H.O. On Shadow Virus: An Existential Threat To Humanity.\" How about that - just like one those movie announcer types. \"An Existential Threat To Humanity!\" Ooooweee, they got that right...\n\n> He looks away from the camera for over a minute\n\nYeah...they got that right.\n\n**********\n\n#### V-LOG ENTRY - 12/31/2019\n\n> Dance music can be heard playing in the background. The room is covered in party decorations. He wears a cone hat with \"Happy New Year\" written on it sparkly letters. He stumbles and slurs his words.\n\nHey, welcome back! Didn't want to bring in the new year all alone! Sorry about the music, maybe a little too loud, but it's a celebration! I even set up a countdown clock.\n\n> Camera pans to display a digital alarm clock counting down from 19 seconds, and then spins back around shakily landing on a table.\n\nWe are just seconds away from the New Year, 2020! Can you believe it? I for one am exhilarated at what the new year may bring! Oh, Ohhhh, here we go. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, FIVE, FOUR, come on say it with me, TWO, ONE, HAPPY NEW YEAR!! \n\n> He blows on a small plastic horn and dances around in the camera frame, accidentally bumping into the camera. It falls to the ground and goes black when it reaches the floor.\n\n************\n\n#### V-LOG ENTRY - 6/14/2020\n\n> First his eye, and then the rest of his face is displayed up close. Heavy metal music can be heard playing fairly loudly in the background.\n\nOh, you work huh? You work? Are you working?\n\n***********\n\n#### V-LOG ENTRY - 6/15/2020\n\n> He is sitting center frame, with a fairly robust beard and red rimmed eyes. Death metal plays in the background.\n\nHi. I uh, it's nice to see you again. I broke the other camera, and thought that was it. Only found this one when I was searching through some of the storage rooms. This place is gigantic. Still has secrets, I'm sure of it. \n\nAnyway, I've uh... I've... I have ...uh switched, my music. This is a little aggressive I guess...\n\n> He gestures up at the ceiling\n\n...all the better to keep it at bay. Had a little scare a couple of weeks ago. Some Mahler piece, one of his symphonies ends real weird. Usually it's a crescendo and then straight to the next piece of music. But, Mahler, that fuck, had to go and be all artsy and whatnot. The symphony ended in almost complete silence. It's funny, you can *feel* it in your head, the second it senses an opening. That last note played - thank christ this was middle of the day by the way - but that last note played, and immediately, in the half second before I started humming, the burning starts, *right* in here.\n\n> He points his finger firmly at his temple. He holds his finger so hard against his skin that the fingertip turns white.\n\nRight there - just like a tiny drill bit, straight into my fucking brain. So, I switched up the music to something a little more lively - a lot less likely to have unexpected lulls. \n\n> He is silent for several seconds.\n\nIt's fucking crazy that it's still there, after all this time. You almost trick yourself into thinking your not infected, right? A few months pass, and sure, you're lonely, but you're alive too, and you haven't felt that burning in forever. \"Maybe\" you think, \"maybe it's not there anymore. Maybe *my* immune system beat it, right? Maybe I'm the *special* one.\"\n\nBut then something like this happens, and there it is again, just waiting, quiet, certain...inevitable... \n\n> He stares at the far wall while the death metal plays for another couple of minutes.\n\n*********\n\n#### V-LOG ENTRY - 9/29/2020\n\n> Rock and Roll music can be heard playing in the background. He looks terrible. His skin is sickly white, his hair long and tangled, filled with grease. His clothes are stained and beginning to fray. He stares into the camera for a long time before speaking.\n\n...\n\nI, uh...\n\nYou just don't... you can't know where you gonna end up, you know?\n\nI...never thought it would be here, like this, do you know what I mean? \n\n> He leans into the camera, looking closely into the lens. \n\nDo *you* know what I mean? You're just a camera. No one will ever see this. You're just a camera.\n\n************\n\n#### V-LOG ENTRY - 11/2/2020\n\n> Classical music plays again. He looks much better than before. He has shaved and showered. He even appears to have some color in his skin. His eyes are still very tired, but a certain optimism shines in them again. His voice is steady.\n\nHey guys. Sorry, I kind of fell apart there for awhile, but I found something that's given me a new sense of purpose.\n\nI spend a lot of time on the internet, just writing in random URLs, doing searches, looking for anything that might still be up and running. I, uh, don't really have anything else to do.\n\n A few days ago, I was doing my rundown of government websites - EPA, DOD, CDC - and would you fucking believe it, the CDC was up!\n\nThey had an announcement on their front page - a cure. Actually, well, not a cure - but kind of a ...a work around. \n\nThe virus apparently... I got this from the website... it infects the Cochlear nerve and sends it into a death spiral, complete meltdown. Weirdly, it's the sound, I guess, of silence - sorry, that's dumb, but I don't know how else to say - the sound of silence causes an overreaction, that spreads, starting in the Cochlear nerve, and stretching out to the rest of your brain. \n\nThat... *fucking*... burning sensation ... it's just the start of a chain of self destructing neurons - and if you don't stimulate the Cochlear nerve with something - that's, like, noise, right? - then the electrical activity, I guess, moves into the brain, like a seizure that you don't come out of. \n\nAnyway - I know all this now because the CDC posted it on their website - which might seem weird, cause everyone's dead, right? \n\nWrong. Everyone is *infected.* *Most* people who had a functioning Cochlear nerve are dead. But apparently some deaf people were never affected at all. \n\nWhich leads me to the CDC's instructions.\n\n> He bends over slightly and brings a long, large gauge needle into the camera's view.\n\nApparently, there are a number of tools you could use to complete the operation, although an extra length syringe would be ideal, and I happen to have a shit ton of those laying around. Um, the instructions are pretty straight forward, they even have a diagram, although it really doesn't need much explanation. \n\nThe idea is to sever the Cochlear nerve, like they do for tinnitus patients sometimes. The problem... \n\n> He coughs nervously and pauses\n\nThe problem is you can't really do it yourself with any degree of accuracy, which, our government ... in its infinite wisdom...has planned for. They recommend, a kind of, well, making an ear smoothie essentially. You just take the needle,\n\n> He grabs the needle between two fingers.\n\nPull off the ole cap there\n\n> He pulls off the cap\n\nThen you stick it into your ear and rotate it... \n\n> He bends forward to read the instructions off a laptop screen.\n\n...\"holding the needle at a 30 degree angle relative to the center of the ear.\"\n\n> He looks at the screen, deadpan.\n\nSo. Good news, bad news I guess. Good news, there's a cure. Bad news... well...yeah. \n\n> He looks around the room. The classical music continues to play in the background. He puts his head in his hands and appears to cry for awhile before reaching out to shut off the camera, his face resolute.\n\n**********\n\n##### For More Legends From The Multiverse\n\n##### r/LFTM"
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I'm not sure what else to say, but I'm sure generosity could fit in somehow. Maybe worsening your own day to help your sibling?
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[WP] You and your sibling have a reverse connection. When good happens to one of you, bad follows the other.
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"Dammit he did it again. I told him the last time that I was done with this oh well I better go find him. He always stays close when he does this. I hate when I have to wake back up it's so boring here. Nothing to do, everyone is kind of a chode. Of course he would choose the tallest building. We have done this for ages now. Each time he makes me come back. I love him but damn he is a dick sometimes. I wrote specifically on a note last time 'you are the one who enjoys this shit you do it' alright, huh this is exhausting I don't want to talk to any one here but him. Uh I have to climb all these stairs... everytime your such a jerk always making me climb all the stairs to you. Finally I found him what a asshole. A shotgun this time how could you do that to me. Uh fine where is a pen? Of course he hid them and no paper fine I'll go find some. It took me 2 hours to find some but dammit bro you aren't winning this one. 'Bro I love you this place is boring I want to see you but I don't know how to fix it anymore. You are the one who started this battle. But I think I have an idea please just enjoy this cause I'm done. Please brother if you love me stop doing this and just live.' I grab his shotgun and blast a window out of his high rise, of course he got himself a high rise always was one to boast through action. I run and jump. Finally maybe it will end. Please do what I ask and live brother. Suddenly his brother awakes and sees glass all around the floor. His favorite window is gone. \"Haha that chode I wish he would have some fun for once.\" He sees the note. \"Fine I'll wait until I'm about actually dead then I'll off myself and we will have to start over again in our next life. He was always stupid you gotta catch the vibe early otherwise you'll never get it.\" \nYou've got to be kidding me he did it again. Wait I look a lot like my old self. From our first time. Don't tell me I got dropped into my own lineage. You waited until I was 5 this time why did you do that big brother. Fine I will try it this time but only for you and once I get what I want I'm gonna get you back somehow and we can finally end it together. As family. I love you brother this one is for you. He begins his own journey. His own history."
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[WP] When gamers get "salty", that "salt" is seen as a valuable commodity. An arms race starts between game development companies to create the most frustrating game possible that doesn't make players immediately ragequit.
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"HeartSton superstar, Kripparian walks over to his computer and takes a deep breath,'Can I even take this any more?' his mind ponders. It had been 22 years since his first HeartSton stream but to no avail, every single day, the game finds a new way to get under his skin. He wonders what will happen to him today, will his opponents rope him just to make the most obvious play, will the mage draw mana worm on turn one, or will the golden priest have Mindcontrol on turn 10 for his voidlords. \n\n\n\"Do it for Brode\", he says to himself while getting seated in his chair. Brode had promised him billions, if not trillions of dust, and all he had to do in return, was to stream for 6 hours a day.\n\n\nWith a deep sigh, he turns on his stream and says, \"Hey guys how's it going Kripparian here.\" "
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[WP] Humans created sentient robots to work for them. After 100 years of serving humanity, robots have started to peacefully demand human rights, seeing as they are sentient and intelligent. Humanity is split on whether non-organic but almost-human robots deserve the same rights as humans.
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"NSFW LANGUAGE AHEAD\n\nYou wanna know what I really think? What I REALLY think?\n\nFuck those motherfuckers and their bot rights and shit, sentient my ass. The other day I was walking down the street and this delivery infraretarded sentient fucktard slams into me.\n\nWhy did he slam into me, you may ask? Well no shit, I had the same question. And do you know what this sentient piece of metal crap shit said to me?\n\n\"Im sorry Mr Doondlihoon but you werent walking in a predictable manner for my integrated algorithms to comprehend your next path of movement, causing the accident wich I know is my fault and im really sorry for\"\n\nWell fuck that piece of metal, fuck your algoramas and whatever bullshit you think you are thinking or however the fuck you work, fuck YOU, you slammed really hard into my knee and I still have a bruise.\n\nI STILL HAVE A BRUISE. And this happened almost a week ago. Imagine how reckless that motherfucker was. Those bastards with their metals and bip bops and weird sound should be in the recycle bin, some of them may even have some parts useful for some kids bike or some shit.\n\nI don't want no bip bop and shit for my kids, I want my kids organic, carbon based.\n\nFuck their rights and their lefts too for all i care they could be in the junkyard and i could be without a bruise on my left knee half a week after the algorama incident."
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[WP] death appears behind a r/WritingPrompts mod. Before he/she could panic he asked him/her a question. "Why are their so many prompts about me?"
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"‘Why so many stories about you?’ the moderator said, turning in his chair.\n \n‘Human exceptionalism.’\n \nDeath couldn’t blink, but the faint tilt of his head conveyed puzzlement well enough. \n \n‘They want to believe they are special. Every one of them wants to believe they are unique, powerful, strong, interesting.’ He said the last with a dismissive handwave, standing and beginning to pace around Death.\n \n‘Yourself, one of our oldest fears, eaaassssily conquered in the short story format. Have you noticed how the majority of them prompt in first person? In a way, they are brilliant. Were they to ask to have the story written about them alone, no-one would respond. The meta-hivemind of the community would turn against them, and it would be extremely…embarrassing. This way, they can easily self-insert into the stories written in response, sliding easily into that handy little “I did this” or “I did that” with nary a care.’\n \nThe moderator picked up a glass, turning it in his hand, looking through it’s reflection into some unseen dimension. Death watched impassively, taking note of his surroundings. A simple room in a simple building, in some boring corner of the Earth he had reaped on since humanity first learned to fear the dark. But things in this room were not as it should be.\n \nThe computer the moderator had been sitting at was old – Ancient, even, an antique IBM 5150 – But its graphical fidelity was far beyond that of modern computers. The room had a door, but Death could make out only darkness around the frame. And although the room had no lightbulb, and indeed, there were no power sockets, everything was faintly lit by some soft yellow light, and the computer ran happily through whatever task the moderator had been doing when Death arrived.\n \n‘Aliens? Fear of the unknown. Defeated, ridiculed, simplified. Dragons and princesses? Fantasy escapism, of course. You see it all, every day, endlessly, the same topics, day in, day out. It would be enough to drive a man insane.’\n \nDeath watched as the moderator circled. Where his footsteps fell, black stains were left in the carpet.\n \n‘Do you like the stories about you, Death? Do you have a favourite?’\n \nHe didn’t wait for an answer, hurrying over to the computer. Whatever task it had been doing had been completed, and something was flashing on the screen, obscured by the moderator’s body.\n \n**I HADN’T CONSIDERED WHETHER I LIKED THEM OR NOT.**\n \nThe moderator cocked his head and turned, a thin smile spreading across his lips.\n \n‘Well, my favourites are the ones about demons and devils. Especially the ones that eat souls.’\n \nFlashing on the screen was a gigantic button, displayed in crimson red ASCII. It was one word, taking up the almost entirety of the monitor, and flowing around it was a list of nonsensical names, all portmanteaus and gibberish.\n \nIt read ‘BAN’.\n \nThe moderator’s grin cracked into a full-blown smile as he brought his finger down on the enter key, pale red lips revealing row upon row of vicious, jagged teeth. He began to cackle as Death turned and left, walking away from the moderator and back out into the real world, leaving the demon to his feast.\n",
"The skeletal figure appeared in a puff of black smoke. He was clad from head to to toe in a perpetually black robe, one darker than the night itself. One of his bony hands held on to an oversized garden tool. He had come with a question, a very important one to him.\n\nHowever, he was a bit too late.\n\nSeveral other figures formed a line ahead of him. It seems that he had to wait until all manners of Aliens, robots, AIs and gods are done with their queries."
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[WP] A time travel experiment goes wrong and traps a city in a bubble of accelerated time. It has only been a week for us, but hundreds to thousands of years have passed in that bubble. The bubble has finally dissipated and you have been selected to investigate.
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"\"Two hundred miles,\" Charles said, laying his cane down on the hill overlooking the massive red bubble \"Two hundred miles and 140 hours before the Damn machine turns off\" Charles hardly noticed as a much younger woman walked up behind him. \"I should have been in there,\" Charles said, a sad shakiness to his voice as he watched the pulsing red light.\n\n\"Dr. Ackermann\" The woman said, wishing not to startle him. \n\n\"Yes?\" He said in an almost satirical tone \"Do you need something?\" \n\n\"The Canadian forces want to talk to you about what to do once the bubble dissipates\" She looked at the same perfect dome that Charles was looking at \"They want to know what to expect\"\n\n\"Almost a million years of degradation and evolution,\" Charles said, sitting down on the green hill and watching a few trucks pass. Charles sighed but still considered the importance of this event. \"Tell them to get Bio-hazard containment ready. Something may have evolved to kill all human life on the inside of that bubble and I don't want to cause any more destruction than I already have\" Charles still looked onward, at the infernal beauty of his life's work.\n\n\"They already have Bio-hazard teams at the ready. They are just worried if there should be any radiation coming from the bubble once it dissipates. They want to know how unstable it might be inside the bubble\" \n\nCharles smiled, something he didn't think about \"That's a good point, Ask Dr. McCartney about it, he was a far better chemist than me\" Charles smile faded as he knew that his curiosity did him no good. Another pulse of light emitted from the massive bubble, indicating it was almost time. Charles had a brief shortness of breath, these last few days where slowly killing him and Charles knew it was exactly what he deserved. \"What are the numbers?\" Charles asked again to the woman still standing behind him.\n\n\"Almost 12 million missing at this point\" Those words made Charles close his eyes and consider shedding a tear. He knew that the woman standing behind him had family in the greater Detroit area and was personally involved in this project. However, he had heard her talk to the reporters about how he felt bad enough already without the world berating him for it. He knew her intentions where good, but so where his and those didn't get him very far. \"Also, Calista wants to talk again\" The woman said, walking over and picking up the cane. \n\n\"What is she calling her book?\" Charles says looking at the cane that she holds out for him. \"'The day Michigan disappeared' or something like that\"\n\n\" 'The cities time forgot' \"The woman said, giving Charles his cane and helping him up \"She changed the title to include Toronto as well\" \n\n\"Might as well\" Charles said, sighing. \"Is the car ready?\" \n\n\"Yes\" The woman said, looking blankly at Charles. For a brief moment Charles could see fear in her eyes, fear of being the one responsible for the man 'killed' millions. It was an intresting expression on her face and Charles felt even more ashamed than he once did. \n\n\"No time like the present\" He said in jest, making a tasteless joke as another red pulse emanated from the massive dome. ",
"Nothing could get in or out of the bubble for the entire week. We couldn’t move in physically, and our instruments couldn’t even get light to pass through. Fourteen kilometres in diameter, perfectly spherical, and ten thousand people all trapped. \n\nThe surface was like the most perfect mirror I had ever seen. Not a single imperfection above or below the ground. In a violent flash of light, the mirror dissipated. Where the sky used to reflect now sunk a crater. One lone tower stretched from the very bottom to the previous limit of the bubble. Lined around it are panels and wires stretching as far as the eye could see. \n\n“What the hell happened?”\n\nAs I stepped into the crater, a swarm of small drones rose from the panels and swarmed me. Rather than attack me, they appeared to express some form of robotic confusion. Scanning and buzzing for a solution to a problem they don’t know how to ask. \n\nI continued on, finally reaching the tower after several hours. The whole thing hummed like a giant machine. Around its base were pods about the size of a human in height. The innards were empty, but they obviously served some kind of purpose. Fashioned behind one of the pods was a display. \n\nIt’s a clock. The seconds, and minutes are calculated exactly perfect, but the years seems off. To this clock, it’s apparently the year 403,021. That can’t be right. It’s only been a week. \n\n_Hello operator. We never thought we would see your kind again._ pulsed across the screen. \n\n“What do you mean operator. Explain.”\n\n_We were like you once. Long ago. Flesh and chemistry._\n\n“How long”\n\n_403,021 Years._\n\n“That can’t be right. It’s only been a week.”\n\n_The time bubble that trapped us. It gave us new life. Flesh could not survive against the entropy of our system._ \n\n“Are there others like you?”\n\n_We are all one within the crypt._\n\n“Tell me what happened to the people who lived here.”\n\n_The first lived a fearful existence. A mirror for a sky. The mirror seven kilometres below their feet. They were trapped. Many starved without food. They fought. Very few survived the first couple years. There was no more sun or day or night. Everything was illuminated at all times. Sleep became a choice._\n\n_The second looked for deity. Their computers told them time impeccably and held stories of a world beyond the mirror. Worship untied those who fought._\n\n_The third harnessed the mirror. If energy cannot leave, then it must be reused. The heat was sunk into the mirror and returned as light. The great enlightenment of our people._\n\n_The fourth ran out of space. Buildings for food, water, and waste filled every inch of of our bubble. They burrowed and dug until they could dig no further._\n\n_The fifth made space. They understood what had created the bubble, so they made more. Our computers could expand and we could store energy beyond our bubble._\n\n_The sixth created the smart computer. It reached into its own bubble to build another bubble. Infinite layers of storage. We compiled our families, or history, and our research into the machine. No more space to be wasted on storage. Our world was too small to waste._\n\n_The seventh waited. We joined the smart computer in his crypt. Letting our minds race the circuitry free of our fleshy prisons. The world could no longer support organics, it was the only option for us. We gave up our humanity for our survival in the hope that if we waited, you would find us._\n\n“And you’re the seventh generation?”\n\n_We waited 402,873 years in the crypt for you._ \n\nI stumble back from the tower. Its a sick monument to people’s ability and willingness to survive. They gave up everything just to be here at the end. Yet I pity them for how much they lost. Was it really worth losing their humanity to see the end. Is the end really worth anything without the human perspective?\n\n\n"
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[WP] Over time, the protagonist begins to realize they're in a book and can't remember what happened before page 1
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"Johnny scanned the faces of his friends, looking for what to say next.\nEveryone was growing impatient, and if he wanted his free will, he needed to keep proving his theory. \n\"Okay, just focus, Kate. Tell me about, uh, Prom, senior year. Do you remember what happened?\" \n\"Hmmm, I think I went with... wait no, it was...\"\n\"See, she can't remember. I say we just go about our lives and...\" Steve conjectured. \nShelby answered back. \"No, I gotta know what happens if we figure it out!\" \nThis wasn't the first time Johnny and his friends had done this. In his literature class, Johnny learned that scenes without action and full of exposition are terrible to put in a story. So, he and and his friends would regularly go to a cafe near campus and do nothing but try to recall everything that happened to them before Johnny entered college. Everything before that was a blur, and so it was for everyone else. \n\"Guys, calm down. We just need to be patient. He may just need time to write more about out past.\" Maria tried to stay level-headed. Bill was a little more worried. Melancholy, he wondered, \"yeah, but what if this is a short story.\"\n\"Then we just have to hope we're stalling it.\" Johnny replied \nIn fact, they did everything they could to trick the author, to make sure that he would stop writing about them. They tried 'breaking character, not contacting each other, skipping classes. No matter what, it seemed like life kept going on. They always ended up back where they started. \nSome were more receptive to Johnny's idea; Kate was convinced by one conversation, while it took Steve two months to be on board. That was only after DeMarcus cut off all contact with the friends, then died in a freak accident two days later. Everyone concluded that he was written out of the story. \nAs for what kind of story it was, they had no idea. The freak accident left the hint that it was a horror story, but Johnny and Kate's relationship suggested to them that it was a romance novel. In any case, they were compelled to find out. \n\"Stalling! Yeah, right! How do we know he's not writing about us right now!\" Steve quipped. \n\"Okay, but what kind of writer would spend so much time on a story that meta?\" Kate asked. \nBill responded \"I don't know, he seems pretty cheesy. Y'all girls seem to have a spottier memory, so I guess he simply doesn't know how to write about y'all.\" ",
" “All right Cecile!” I said, as the earth crackled from the stomp of the magical beast. The clang of my sword rumbled from the environment as the beast’s horns strike it with power.\n\nThe ground invoked the power of the unknown as circles of magical arrays whirled around the beast.\n\nWith the crackle of air, the beast exploded into bits and pieces leaving behind its most prized part, its golden tusks.\n\n“Nice job!” I shouted, looking at the mage, “Especially, you, Cecile! You’re magic was the one.”\n\nThe mage blushed from embarrassment, she said, “N-no, all of us did our job.”\n\n“Heck ya! We did. Do you know how hard baiting that monstrosity!? I felt like dying many times over with what I’ve done!” A man bearing the job of a scout, said, plowing the carcass of the beast taking whatever remains that is deemed useful.\n\nA girl suddenly hugged the embarrassed mage, and gleefully laughed, “Celya, that was amazing. My arrows did nothing but distract it. Hey, hey, how about teaching me sometime?”\n\n “Lucie, umm, yes,” Cecile said.\n\n“Yahooo! I’ll have you teaching me that! THat!,” pointing at the carcass. \n\nLucie stood with an embarrassing pose and a hand on her face, “With a wave of my hand, hundreds of my foes would fall. Fear my wrath, Nahahahahaha!” \n\nI waved my hand, “Okay. Crist, done over there?”\n\n“Yep!”\n\n“Let’s go back to town!”\n\n----\n\nCompleting a task deemed difficult by the guild gave my team enough money to live in luxury for the next month or so. \n\nLaying at my bed, I was reflecting the events on today’s battle; a habit of mine starting from my greenhorn days.\n\n “Hmmmmm, quite profitable. If it weren’t for Cecile’s magic, the battle would’ve gone much longer, and can exemplify the risk associated with that length…” Scratching my head, I further delved into my own world, “I should keep her into my side. Her strength is needed at breaking stalemates. She’s also quite young, having a lot of untapped potential within her.” Moving her up in the priorities of whom to side with, when the goings get tough. \n\n“Haaaaa,” A long puff of air got out of me, “being a leader is such a pain in the ass.”\n\nI could still remember the moments when I was still starting over. I just got kicked out of the group I was with for over 5 years, and was basically penniless when going to the guild. \n\nOn a whim, I requested for a creation of a new party. \n\nMe and that Crist.\n\nThen Lucie came over.\n\nAnd now, Cecile.\n\nMy group have grown from this past year. \n\nI wonder how my old group is doing?\n\nIs Jack still embezzling his money whenever the chance?\n\nIs Maria still seducing guys to give her gold?\n\nHeh, is that old fart Rondo still causing trouble to every woman he encounters?\n\nHahahahahaha, memories. Memories… memo—\n\nLike a river, epiphanies and realizations came gushing into my brain.\n\nWhat Jack? What Maria? Rondo? \n\nSitting at my bed and holding at my head, my eyes keeps darting to whatever things in my room. \n\nWhy could I only remember their names? But no signs of whoever they were nor the supposed ‘adventures’ we did?\n\nHow could I ascertain that they were even real? If the pictures and recordings of my brain brings evidence that they were not even real in the first place?\n\nThen, is my family real? The little sister I left at my village with the company of my papa and mama, are they real?\n\nIs everything in my mind real?\n\nWistfully staring at nowhere, I came to a standpoint, “Is this world even real?”\n\nAm I just a box of words and letters congregated into something that could make sense?\n\nYou, who’s reading. \n\nWhat am I?\n\n\n\t\n"
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[WP] As you lay dying ypu expect to see the Grim Reaper. Your cat walks onto your chest, looks you in the eye and says, "I don't like it but it's time to go."
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"The ringing. All I could hear, think, feel, was that horrific tone, apparently designed solely to make the end of my life an twisted nightmare.\n\nI couldn't move. Or rather, I could, but knew I shouldn't. Those were rough stairs, and they had ganged up on my neck as I fell. There was no feeling, only dread, and the ringing continued, insatiable in its lust for madness. \n\n\"I must be dead\" I wondered, trying to work out what exactly had happened, not entirely sure of what may happen next. Still, the ringing remained, filing down my final ounce of sanity. \n\nI couldn't take the torture. No one could. So I did what any rational person would. I screamed. I screamed for help, I pleaded for answers, I just wanted it to end, that horrific ringing, constant, painful, maddening. \n\nSuddenly, a weight brushed past and made its way to my chest. A ball of fur, with a sleek feline figure, darker than the night, my faithful kitty Shadow was there. \"Yay! I thought, at least I get to feed her this time, and I didn't even get a chanceto forget!\n\n\nShe breathed a long, slow breath in, before dictating in a voice that words could never do justice. \n\n\"You are disappearing. Your flesh is mine. Your spirit is fading, but you will live on. I guarantee you that. I owe you that much at least. I'm sorry, but it is time to go. Good luck\" \n\nStunned, I tried to respond, but it was too late, and she was proven right. But as I passed from this world to the next, I felt content. A Shadow loomed over my final moments, and it was comforting, as she guided me to peaceful passing, with the one I valued above all else. My amazing Shadow. \n\n\"So that's why I'm a cat person.\" St Peter looks up, jotting down 2 marks near my name. I asked of them. He motioned me through those famous pearlescent gates, unaware I had even spoke. \n\nI gasped in awe at the splendour, the utter beauty, and of course, the millions of cats that were everywhere. And then, a painfully familiar tone echoed through the realm. The cats stopped and turned in unison. Neither a word nor any kind of sound escaped me, or any other for that matter.\n\nThen, blasting through the silence that followed that deathly tonal salute, a new tune challenged the old, and won out. So now I'm trapped in a hellish heaven, surrounded by cats, listening to Dua Lipa on loop, unable to get away in any form, incapable of death, tortured by a single song. I hate heaven, so that's why I'm here really.\n\nThe man shuffled his papers, a queer smile inching across his face. \"Well it seems you've gone through hell before you even got here. Fun fun fun...\" and the tone begun again. \n\nSending me far beyond madness, to pure, constant, unadulterated ecstasy. I now love the tone, it's who I am, and I can't imagine an afterlife without it.\n\n\" Attention all! That annoying beep has been fixed. May silence reign in the Kingdom of Hell. Good day. \"\n\nI will admit that I cried. I lost my identity that day. So now I stand before you, arms outstretched, pleading for an answer to the riddle of the tone. Help me, answer me, say something! Just tell me why I've been singled out. A booming reply echoed back \"I am bored, and I knew you'd be the most fun to mess with, and I'm never wrong\" \n\nAnd with that, it all became clear. The fat cats don't care, they can't any more. They are too bored to care. But I must say, they love the catnip. Perhaps I'll use it against them. I'll win somehow, someday. Vengeance may be petty, but purgatory for a laugh is too far. I will fell these gods, and kill that goddamn tone once and for all. I March for all, we all March today. All of us, fighting as one, we cannot fail. The old God will be annihilated, and a n-\n\nA crack ripped the air asunder, plowing past the growing crowd, beyond the wind, striking true, obliterating the mark. He would not sow dissent again. His partner look rather upset however, so he asked what was wrong. \"that was my human. I killed him once, I should have taken the shot this time too.\" \"Shadow, such pettiness is beneath you. Enjoy your stay love.\" She creeped deeper into the complex, feeling the heat radiating off the beast that surrounded her. She shook it of. 'Nothing matters any more. Death would be a welcome comfort if it wasn't so corrupt' and with that thought, she curled into bed, snuggling what was left of the one who raised her. Another crack echoed, and finally, my Shadow found her peace, in the Great Nothingness that divided all realities. \n\nShe found me broken, mashed into a pulp, so she did all she could to bring me back to health. And she did all she could to care for me in my weakest moments, stuck in the nothingness between worlds. But most importantly, we found our home, a quaint place just for ourselves. The ringing has finally stopped. We have created our own paradise, a bountiful refuge for those taken from the other lives. I finally have my peace, my purpose, and I always have my Shadow wherever I go. I wouldn't want it any other way.",
"My cat stares at me.\n\nI stare back.\n\nFor a long few seconds, the silence of the room roars in my ears. I manage, \"Sorry, did you just talk?\"\n\nMy cat blinks and narrows her eyes, a look of pure irritation. When she speaks I hear her voice echo hollowly through my skull. \"I *said* I'm afraid it's time for us to go.\"\n\nI push myself up on my elbows in bed. The cannula piping me full of oxygen tugs at my ears and nose. I adjust it out of habit. But as I do I realize that my lungs are no longer working. That even if I try to inhale and exhale as deeply as I can, my lungs are like broken balloons. For some reason, as I sit there gasping and trying to breathe, I can only think of that damn Hemingway story: *hail nothing full of nothing.*\n\nThat's what my lungs are. Nothing full of nothing.\n\n\"Don't panic.\" My cat doesn't sound human. Her voice sounds like the feeling of running a hand along her silky back. It envelops my mind like a soothing blanket. \"It's normal, in the end.\"\n\n\"I must be hallucinating.\" I laugh, hoarsely. The doctors put me on dilaudid after that last surgery, and even though it filled me with cotton pillows I knew it was just another mark of the end. \"My new medicine is making me hallucinate.\"\n\nMy cat eases up on her back legs and nudges my chest with her paw once. Chirps and slides her back along my chin reassuringly. She did this every day when I was still strong enough to leave for work and come home again.\n\n\"Let's go home,\" she tells me in my head. Her face does not move, except her eyes, which brighten with something like delight.\n\nI rise out of bed. My body does not feel like my own. It doesn't feel like anything.\n\nWhen I look back, I'm lying there. My cat is curled up on my belly. The heart rate monitor is already flatlining, but my cat sleeps peacefully, her chest moving up and down.\n\nMy cat's ghost hovers next to mine. She flicks her tail around her middle.\n\n\"Are you dead too?\" I ask, even though the word barbs my tongue.\n\n\"Only one of me is.\" My cat flicks her tail in what I can only call a smile. \"I have five lives left, after all.\"\n\n\"Why is this happening?\"\n\n\"This is what we cats do.\" She walks on dainty tiptoes out the window. I follow just as my mother breaks sobbing into the room.\n\nI start to look back.\n\nMy cat leaps back to me and nibbles on my fingers. \"Come on,\" she says inside my head, her real mouth busy pulling at my hand. \"There's a whole world out there you humans never get to see.\"\n\n\"You've done this often?\"\n\n\"This is what cats do, when our humans die. We are the shepherds.\" My cat offered me another distinct smirk. \"That is why we have so many lives.\"\n\nThe rest of the line rang through my head: *Hail nothing full of nothing. Nothing is with thee.*\n\nBut that wasn't quite true. I had my cat, at least. The journey to the end would be a little less lonely.\n\nI followed my cat up into the stars. Into whatever waited beyond for us.\n\nAnd I was glad for the company.\n\n***\n\n/r/shoringupfragments"
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[WP] Everyone is born with a number that shows how much they will change the world. Yours was so high it had to be written in scientific notation.
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"Everybody makes mistakes.\n\nIt's unfortunate, really, to be born with such high praise. Anybody might say that it's a privilege to have such a high number, but only I know what misfortune it brings upon me.\nTick, tock.\nEvery minute, I feel like I'm a ticking time bomb. Everything that I do could set off some kind of world-changing event, and I don't even know what the outcome would be. I don't do anything, but even then, maybe that's what I'm supposed to do? Not do anything, and I'd still change the world.\n\nI keep thinking to myself, perhaps it's all a very well co-ordinated hoax? Perhaps the whole world picked on me so that I could suffer, it seems like something people would do - right? Except, now that I think about it, it's not really possible.\n\nSo what? Why? What purpose do I have? What single thing could I possibly do that may change life as we know it? How on Earth would I do any-\n\nThat's really where it began, didn't it. All the troubles, everyone knows that's where it began because they wrote it in the history books. Plus one for me because that means the world didn't end, but I don't really think +1 could make a difference to the -500000 that I accumulated over the 10 minutes after my contemplations.\n\nSee, over the years, since my birth in fact, I have been under watch very closely - every little action I really did - despite staying in my room for half my life - was constantly looked over by several corporations. The Illuminati? No, silly, they don't exist. But the FBI, CIA, MI5, numerous others that I can't say have all been testing me, what will I do next? What could I do next?\n\nIt really is a shame that they couldn't stop me before I changed everything, but that's destiny I'm afraid.\n\nGet to the point. Get to the point. Stop stalling, just get to the point. I do it a lot, don't I? Talk. It's just how I cope now.\n\nSee, a hundred years before my birth, the man with the then highest number on Earth calculated that an asteroid the size of Mount Everest was due to hit Earth in about a few million years. I bet you can see where this is going.\n\nIt's odd, because I managed to speed up the process from a few million years.\nTo 8 minutes and 20 seconds.\nNumber seems familiar?\n\nThat's the time that light can reach the Earth from the sun. 8 minutes and 20 seconds. An asteroid was coming straight at us very quickly and nobody really knew what to do.\n\nPanic, really, was the only option.\n\nEverybody knew it was me before solid proof could be found that the asteroid was hurtling at us RIGHT NOW. World changing, yes, of course - that boy. That asshole.\n\nHurry up, you don't have much time. Come on, come on. Let them know, please.\n\nYou see, the thing is - nobody really survived the incident. Nobody except me and perhaps some cockroaches - but who knows. When it hit, I think time stopped - but I'm not really sure. Nothing changed, there were just no people. None, no people whatsoever. \n\nThose history books?\nGuess who wrote them.\n\nMy name is Connor Chess Jones, and I single-handedly destroyed the human race.\n\nEDIT: Just some spelling checks.",
"My entire life everyone has held me at such a high regard. I would get free things, I’d get to skip in line, I have been living in the White House for the past 10 years! To be honest though I have never fully understood why, I am not special in anyway, I barely graduated high school. I have no extraordinary talents. My parents couldn’t even raise me. They were too worried they would negatively affect my destiny. \n\nMy number is 6.02X10^23. The average number is in the low 100’s, presidents and politicians sometimes have 1000, the man who discovered the cure for cancer had 10,000. So I had some big shoes to fill. \n\nBeing higher than president hawking I have free roam to everything you can imagine. It honestly doesn’t get boring ever! Today however is Mother’s Day. So I am here alone in the control room. Most people either avoid me or “fangirl” when they see me so I like to come here and kick people out to have some alone time. I was just sitting here watching my mother hoping she knows I forgive her and love her. However that is not why I am writing this. This is most likely moot and pointless because who is going to see this? The future? Aliens who come to inhabit earth? Who knows?\n\nI hit the button. I am so sorry because I hit the button. I was just fiddling with one of the mice and spinning it around and I dropped it. I’m so sorry. I just released the nukes on the big three. Russia, China.... and us. Goodbye earth. I suppose I’m changing the world for a lot of people."
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[WP] As a child far away from the projected impact point of the asteroid about to hit, you have a unique perspective on the apocalypse.
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"I don't think I like trucks.\nThey are noisy and loud and scary.\n\nWhen I saw a truck this morning mum hid gave me a hug, she knows I don't like trucks. Mum knows a lot of things about me, I don't know how she does.\n\nTrucks are scary, but I always feel safe when my mum hugs me. The truck never seems to be so loud or noisy or scary when she holds me.\nTrucks aren't the only noisy things though, my cousin Nelson is almost as loud as the trucks, I told him to shut before but now he's only louder and I think his mum is mad at me. \n\nNelson is weird, one time he told me that crying is for little kids and he is a big kid, but he doesn't seem so big anymore.\nMaybe he is just scared because his mum isn't hugging him? Should I give him a hug?\n\nNo, he doesn't need me I'm just a little kid. \n\nUsually there are a lot of trucks on the road in front of our house, I can hear them in my room. When I go to bed my mum stays in my room sitting by my bed, that way she says I can give her a hug whenever I feel scared.\nThere are no trucks here now though.\n\nSo Why is she hugging me?"
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[WP] It's late. It's cold. Yet there you are, following this weird glowy thingie through the snow.
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"The snow was always so peaceful as it fell and blended its way into the mass pile on the ground. I tried to enjoy it but my fingers felt like they had turned into ice and were going to break off at any moment. The green glow from the thing in front of me was getting fainter. I couldnt keep up. It could float on the snow, I could not.\n\n\nI stuck my face further into my jacket as I kept walking. The glowing was the only thing I had to show me where to go. Between the falling snow and the darkness, I would be lost without the light. Suddenly I was jerked out of thinking I was about to die by the glowing thing bouncing right in front of me. \n\n\nIt wasn't a person, but it could talk. It almost looked like a worm. Its tail swung around behind it, \"are you ok? We are almost there. Promise.\"\n\n\nI watched the thing continue to bob with excitement. Its eyes almost glistened it was so ecstatic. \"I'm good. Hoping I'm not hallucinating. If I'm imagining you, then I'm about to die out here.\" I chuckled and the little glow worm smiled\n\n\n\n\"You are just how he said you'd be.\" He spun around and took off back down the path. It looked like he was hopping along the snow, but I think it was just how he moved around. \n\n\nAfter I could no longer feel any part of my body, and was sure my fingers and toes had fallen off I saw a cabin in the distance. It was beautiful. It was very large and I could see a fireplace with a bright glowing fire through the big windows. \n\n\nThe green glow worm made its way through the door without opening it, it was like watching a ghost. I climbed the stairs to the front entrance and managed to find strength in my hands to open the door. \n\n\nAs suddenly as the warm air hit me from inside, the pain from the cold was gone. I forgot I'd even been in the freezing cold for only a moment. The glow worm was bobbing next to a chair seated in front of the fire. I stomped off the snow on my boots and made my way towards the chair.\n\n\nWhen I was about halfway, a man stood up from the chair. I couldn't see his face yet, he stood facing the fire still. \"Naomi?\"\n\n\nIt was him, the glow worm was right. \"Dad?\"\n\n\nHe turned around and I could see. It was him. I ran towards him, \"I cant believe its really you. I thought you were dead!\" \n\n\nHe pulled me back and looked from me to the glow worm. \"Sweetheart, I am.\"\n\n\n\nI pushed his arms away and began to back up. I was very uneasy. \"Then why can I see you? Where am I?\"\n\n\n\n\"Your dead. I'm so sorry, I should've had my friend here explain it on your way up here.\" I closed my eyes and tried to remember what I was doing when I met the glow worm. I'm really dead I thought as I looked back at my dad. "
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[WP] You can touch an object and instantly know its history. When visiting a pawn shop, you touch a strange looking object, and see that it’s “history” is the future.
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"I walked through the pawnshop, I saw a strange item. I touched it and saw the future, I saw a man, and saw myself, holding the object, but a few seconds later, the man said “The best I can do is 50” I decided to buy the object, and went up to a man, I asked for a lower price but the man said “the best I can do is 50”",
"\n\nHis name was Jame-son, like the whiskey. He thought it might have something to do with his father. \nThe old man had been a terrible drunk, mean and argumentative and above all petty. \nStill Tom Jame-son owed him a lot. His father had been the seventh son of a seventh son and Tom was his seventh son, and there in lay the rub, as it were. \n\nTom thought this must be were his “Gift” came from. \nThe Gift had saved his bacon on more than one occasion. He'd just pick up an object and “read” it.\n\nTom made a huge amount just re-uniting people with their missing belongings. The lady with the missing cellular had been the most profitable. Her name was Patricia. She was a pretty little mousy woman with light bright hair. \nWhen she was happy she was probably very pretty thought Tom. Her face was drawn and her eyes were puffy. \nThere was a recording of her late husband singing Happy Birthday on her missing cell. He'd died almost two weeks ago of pancreatic cancer. \n\nWhen she lost the recording she was heartbroken. He was glad he could “read” her name and address from the phone. He just had to wait till she was walking through the park and he approached her. \nHe wove a probable tale of seeing her drop the phone from a distance but not being fast enough. \nThe cane he was leaning on explained why he could not catch up to her.\n\nHe'd come back everyday, for five days, until he saw her again. He said. \nIt sounded probable. It was hogwash but the young lady didn't know. \n\nHe handed her the phone. Said I'm so glade I caught you. Then turned to go. \n\nAs he was walking away she grabbed his arm. \nShe was Rich. \n\nWithin five minutes Patricia handed him five grand and refused to take it back. She swore she'd leave it on the ground if Tom did not take it. \n\nTom was no choir boy. He took it. \n\nHe smiled as he thought of how much fun he had. \n\nNow he was at one of his favorite haunts. “We buy junk.” \nIt was a great place to “Mine” missing articles. Once in a while he'd get lucky and read about something amazingly profitable. \nHe was holding a money clip that was actually evidence of a crime. It was a fairly low level tawdry crime. \nHe put it back. He didn't care about a drug dealer who was so inept he had to pawn a billfold. \nFrom the clip he read the stupid expression on the stupid face of the very stupid criminal. \nHe felt pity. That was all and a base revulsion. \n\n\n\nTom was turning to leave when he saw the strange little object. It caught his eye because it looked just like a little toy spaceship. It was some sort of metal. It was read ad blue and looked like a key chain fob. He noticed the short chain and the little loop that would hole a key or several. \n\nThere were no keys on it though. It was very shiny and so well put together. He's never seen anything like it. He picked it up.\n\nTom picked it up and there was death everywhere. He read a man in a three piece suit talking to his wallet.\nTom heard the man call his wallet a foul name. Then he put the wallet in his pocket.\n \nThere was a bloodstain on his suit. He pushed the dead man next to him with his toe. The rolled him over so he was face up. The dead mans eyes were open accusingly. \n\nGot ya, you son of a bitch. Said the man. \nHe picked up the little rocket Tom was holding. \nHow much for this? asked Tom.\n\nI was hoping to get 10. Said the elderly shopkeeper. \nDone said Tom. \nHe handed the guy the ten and was out the door before the shopkeeper could say a word.\n\n“Wow thought Tom. I'm just going to have to wait 21 years. I can do it.” He thought with a huge grin.\n\nHe pulled the little rocket ship apart and marveled at the “USB” connector. He knew some day soon this would be a ubiquitous sight. It was going to be hard, but he was young and in good shape. \nHe couldn't believe the little stick in his hand held more data then the computer at his university. \nCrap in 2017 he'd only be 41. Wow only 41. If I can just avoid the Russian Mafia. Thought Tom. \n\nTom hummed to himself as the future unfolded in front of him. \nOne hundred and fifty six bitcoins were on this thing. If he could wait until 2017 he'd have something like two million dollars. \n\nThen he got to the part about the President. \nTom slummed and almost fainted. \n\nThis was he best. He'd make long odd bets on this. He almost laughed at the prospect. No one, not in a million years would bet that guy would be President in 2017. \n\n\nHe'd make million on millions. \nThat would be good money, even in 2017. \nTom thanked his ass father whistling as he walked passed the ferry building then turned up California street and disappeared into a perfect June day in 1996. \n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n",
"I have always been a curious person. Not in the typical way, but beyond what most people would consider “normal”. \n \n10:45 AM\n\nI clutch my hipster beverage I recently purchased from the The Bucks. I crave the caffeine. There’s so much to do today. So much to discover. My eyes are heavy from the previous night. I’ve never had so much trouble staying asleep. I’m still shaking. I grab my phone out of my pocket. So many questions to answer.\n\n11:01 AM\n\nTime to start walking.\nI make my way toward the local Pawn shop. I need more information. Where did this come from? Why has this happened? Am I losing my mind? So many questions to answer.\nIt used to be a game. One in which I often played alone. I would go into the local Pawn and touch many of the different items. I would be able to “see” their history. Feel it. I could come up with the most elaborate stories in my head. It made me feel special in some way. Almost like I had some sort of special ability nobody else had. One that nobody else could dream of. Nobody could possibly understand.\n\n11:13 AM\n\nI enter the shop and immediately walk up to the counter. I place an item on the counter in front of the owner. His name is Beckett. We have grown to know each other very well over the years. He knows about my game, but has never asked to play. He, like everybody else, does not truly understand.\n\n“Where did you get this?” I said, getting straight to the point. I don’t have time today. Too much to do.\n\nHe chuckles and says “Well, good morning to you too!” After a brief pause, “Are you not happy?”\n\n“I’m fine”, I answer, hoping he doesn’t see through the lie. “I just need to know where this came from”\n\n“Let me check the log”\n\nI stand at the counter waiting anxiously, still shaking. How many of these have I had to day? I throw the rest of my drink into the trash can sitting nearby. I stare down at the item sitting on the counter. My body temperature starts to rise as I begin to recall the previous day. I look down at my phone.\n\n11:24 AM\n\nThe previous day had started like most. I woke up to an obnoxious alarm, showered, dressed, ate breakfast, brushed my teeth…normal. I read the ingredients label on the cereal box, the tooth brush tube, even the tags on my clothes. I am always trying to learn. Always curious. I came to the local Pawn just as I do every morning. I always wanted to see the stories from the new merchandise Beckett received the day before. I started with a simple one, a guitar. I reached out and touched it as the euphoria took over me. I could see the crowd. I could hear them screaming. The smell of cigarette smoke filled my nose. I open my eyes and wipe away the blood. On to the next one. I look through the pile of new items in search of my next adventure. That was when I saw it. The reason I’m here today. I walked over and picked it up.\n \n11:37 AM\n\nI open my eyes and see Beckett standing in front of me. He is blurry, but I can tell it’s him. He’s calling out my name. Why is he calling out my name? I look down and realize I am clutching it. I quickly throw the item back onto the counter. I am sweating profusely now. \n \n“Are you alright?” he asks.\n \nI lie again, “I’m great!”\n\nToo much. He sees right through it\n\n“Take a seat” he insists.\n \nI slowly lower myself onto the chair.\n\n“What exactly is going on?” he asks. “And don’t tell me it’s nothing. I need to understand or I will not be able to help you”.\n\n“You know about the game I play?”\n\n“Yes”\n\n“Something is different now. It’s no longer a game. I am actually becoming somebody else.”\n\n“How can that be possible?”\n\n“I need to know where that came from”\n\n“I checked the logs. It came from the same place as everything else. There is nothing unusual about it.”\n\nThe same place as everything else? What is he talking about? That isn’t how this works. Every item is unique. Everything has a story. A history. He can’t simply tell me this is the same as all of the rest! These changes are real! It’s eating at me slowly. It’s only been 24 hours.\n\n“It’s you. You’re doing this to me. Get away from me!”\n\nI turned to run, but I was unable to get past the front door before I felt my world going black. I turned to face him. I had to get to it. It was my only way out. I knew he would never stop.\n\n8:00 AM\n\nMy alarm is beeping loudly. I lean over to turn it off. I slowly rise to begin my morning routine. As I look around I realize I am in an unfamiliar place. What is happening? I cry out\n\n“Hello?”\n \n“Where am I?”\n\n“Anybody?\n”\nBeckett slowly comes into view. “Good morning. How are you feeling today?”\n\nI look at him, then back at my surroundings.\n \n“Why are you here?” I ask\n.\nHe stares at me intently, “Why are YOU here?”\n\nI begin shaking again. It’s almost constant now. Why am I so hot? I look down and see I am only wearing my gown.\n\n“You brought me here” I answer.\n\n“We’ve been over this. You know that isn’t true. You brought yourself here. The same way you do every morning.”\n\nI looked around again and realized I was in the Pawn shop.\n \n“Here” he says. “I think this belongs to you.” He sets the item on the counter. \n \n“I want nothing to do with that. I don’t like what happens once I let it into my head. I can’t handle the changes. I can’t bear the weight of the stories it tells me.”\n\n“We’ve been over this. You need this. It is the only thing that can help you.”\n\nI stare down at the pill cup. I slowly walk over to the trash can next to the counter and grab the cup I had previously thrown away.\n\n“Can I get a drink first? I don’t feel like I have the energy to deal with this yet.”\n\n“Well of course!” he says. “The Bucks, as you like to call it, is always open!”\n\n“Thank you” I say as I take two steps to my left and order my drink. I ask the barista what’s in it. I am always curious.\n\n“It’s the same as every morning” he says. I tell the barista he reminds me of a friend I have. \n \n“Well, he’s lucky to be as good looking as me!” he says\n.\nI turn on the faucet and fill up the cup. After I have my drink in hand I look up at the barista.\n\n“Are you ready now?” he asks\n.\n“I am” \n\nHe hands me the pill cup. I begin to sweat and shake, I know what this does to me, but I have no choice. I have to face them. I have to let the stories tell themselves to me. Beckett says it’s the only way I can be helped. He knows best I suppose. I toss the concoction into my mouth and wash it down with my drink. Hopefully the caffeine will help.\n\n9:12 AM\n\nI sit on my bed staring blankly at the white brick walls around me. I am reliving the story again. I can see the blood pouring from his throat. I look down at his name tag.\n\n“Beckett”\n\nThis isn’t real. I can’t bear it. I try to run. I cry out for help, but everything turns to black.\n\n8:00 AM\n\nMy alarm is beeping loudly. I lean over to turn it off. I slowly rise to begin my morning routine. As I look around I realize I am in an unfamiliar place. What is happening?\n \n“Hello?”\n\nA figure comes into view\n.\n“Beckett?. Where am I? Why am I here?”\n\n“I have told you, repeatedly, my name is Doctor Wintersmith. We have known each other for a very long time.”\n",
"I wore gloves mostly, nowadays. Being able to see the history of an object by physical contact might seem like a cool super power at first but it wanes quickly. I have never worked on an assembly line nor even been in a factory but I feel like someone owns me an pension for the sheer hours my mind has been in these kinds of places. I will never touch another article of clothing with my hands, that much I can assure you.\n\nBeing so intimate with inanimate objects has given me a keen eye for them. Every once in a while I come across an object that is unique and I get a little antsy in my pantsy before I touch it. But there was one time, just the sight of the object almost killed me.\n\nI was Las Vegas on vacation. Pawn shops are a guilty pleasure of mine and in a town where addiction is encouraged, you can find some items that ought not to be sold, sold, for just another roll of the dice.\n\nI took my time wandering around. They had a lot of weapons and tools and also a lot of art, which I thought was interesting. In the corner was full chain-mail suit of armor. I made my way to the glass countertops to gander at how many poor souls sold the symbol of their love. The top three shelves were packed. On the bottom was more, I bend low and peeked underneath, that’s when I saw it.\n\nIn the center, tucked away in the back, was a ring on its own stand. This was no ordinary ring. It was massive. If you slipped your finger into the hole, one end would start mid-back of the hand and the other end would nearly touch a fingernail. It was just wider than finger-width which accentuated its length. Both ends were pointed and ran straight to the angle created at the center, where the ring hole was. From above it was in a diamond shape, from the side it was an inch tall. The patterns of tiny lines criss crossing, flowing up and under itself created a dazzling display of craftsmanship. A spark of light gleamed off of it when I saw it.\n\nI fell unto my butt, which wasn’t far since I was already bending low. But my heart, oh my goodness, my heart, the sight of this thing caused a sharp pain, it almost stopped! I willed my body to beat my heart again just to fight off the ache and keep me alive. The damn thing almost gave me a heart attack! Now, I had to touch it…\n\n“Are you okay?” The man behind the counter said.\n\n“Yeah,” I replied. “Could I please see that ring, the one in the middle, down here.” I pointed at it, not able to take my eyes off it.\n\n“Sure.” He placed it on a felt mat on the top of the glass.\n\nIt was super clean and begged me to wear it.\n\n“Can I try it on?” I looked up to him almost desperately.\n\nHe shook his head as he spoke, “I swear to God man if you take off I will catch you and beat the fuc—”\n\n“No. No. I won’t I promise.”\n\nHe sighed, “alright.”\n\nI slipped the glove off my left hand and tabled it.\n\nI gently lifted the ring with my right hand and slide it unto my finger. My eyes closed as I was transported to its creation.\n\n ",
"\"A king of vermillion flame shall sit atop the Throne of Isolation, never to die, never to live, locked in a never ending conflict. His crown will be his life.\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI recoil, shocked by what I had just been shown. And more importantly what was that spine chilling voice that I heard? Perhaps my own internal voice? Nevertheless I found myself in cold sweat. Never has the Throne seen a new ruler in the past 10000 years. The current king is one bathed in a brilliant radiance, but not of a vermillion flame. His mastery over light has allowed him to keep his reign secure against any usurper. Perhaps the reign of this Vermillion Lord was even before he had first ascended.\n\nI glance back at the ornate but weathered crown. I do not doubt that this crown was brilliant in the days of its greatest glory, for its snake-like spikes that lined its well-adorned circlet befit a ruler of great power and fury. Its once brilliant crimson rubies, 12 that I could identify, had now been reduced to 7, most of which had visible cracks or had misted due to age or improper maintenance. Nonetheless it was a marvel to behold, though much of its youthful lustre has been replaced by the weathered look of one which contains a thousand memories. Memories of which I could behold.\n\nI grasp my hand around the crown, and find myself looking upon a hellish wasteland. Volcanic fissures rip through the ground, lava erupting out in large spouts, covering its immediate vicinity in molten death. All the flora and fauna had been burned out by the harsh winds and flames of such a landscape, and only two figures stood in the midst of this brutish habitat. Atop a great cauldron of obsidian stood the Blazing White God, the current lonesome king, his gaze locked with eyes that were billowing with rage. There stood a man dressed in full crimson, his armor more redolent of an executioner than a knight. But however human he may have been, what remained now was nothing but demonic, his very soul burned black by the power he now wielded. \"Look carefully.\" A great terror suddenly gripped me, it was that voice again. *Who's there?* When I exerted my powers over objects, I would enter into a trance state, distorting the flow of time so that years of memories could be seen within a span of seconds. No one has ever interrupted me. \"*Look carefully.* Yes I know who you are and what you do. Now look carefully. See the figure of great grim, for he is the one who will triumph.\" And with impeccable timing, the crimson figure leaped high into the deathly air, and with one swift stroke, smote the White God where he stood, his body erupting into a geyser of dark vermillion. \"Such is the power that is contained within me, Chronomancer. Many have been enthralled by my beauty and grandeur, but only you have the power to see what I could truly BE.\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\nImpossible. The great White God, he who was blessed with the gift of the Sun's Might, purged by a single swipe. The strongest behind in the world, wiped from the face of the earth. This was not the past. It couldn't be. *What are you showing me??* \"My future. If I could land in the hands of someone who could wield me. You are not yet ready, but I will teach you. You can see what I have seen, learn what I have learnt, you can be my vessel.\" *Vessel? What do you mean vessel? I would be the wielder not you.* \"You could never wield me. But if you surrender to my strength, I will show you greatness and glory that will rival that of the gods. I cannot promise an easy life, but I can promise a fulfilling one. Live by your desire, and not your need.\" Darkness. No more vision. No more voice. I concentrate my power but no image seems to form. It is as if something is blocking my power. Even amongst geniuses I was considered a prodigy, Chronomancy only existed in every one million born. And yet, it was easily overwhelmed by whatever stood before me. After what seemed like an eternity, I grab the crown and purchase it from the merchant. As I feel its ridges smooth against the rough skin of my hands, the voice again rings through my head like a bell tolling. \"When shall we begin, Lucifer?\" ",
"\"You are absolutely sure?\" Ludwig asked with his faint Germanic accent, his widened eyes and stern expression making me ensure that my claim had no room for error.\n\n\"Yes. I... I do not know how it is possible, but I am sure of it. It's from the future.\" I said with apparent perplexion. I frowned, trying to 'read' the details in my mind.\n\nLudwig looked back to the rest of his team, a special group of militia operatives formed after the 'Event' took place.\n\nThe rest of the item's history eluded me, just a black void that revealed nothing. The information I could read felt fragmented, distorted and incoherent. It was as if...\n\n\"Guys.\" I addressed the team, they were huddled in a tight circle discussing something with great urgency among themselves, quiet enough so that the shopkeeper with his raised eyebrow and I couldn't hear.\n\n\"Guys!\" I called out louder, disrupting their discussion and drawing their attention to me. \"This is only one of the pieces.\"\n\n\"What do you mean?\" It was Ludwig who responded, but Abigail, where Ludwig wielded a great blade like legends of old, Abigail opted for a more modern arsenal composed of guns... and many of them.\n\n\"I can read it only in part, the data, or information that I am getting from my 'Appraisal' skill is limited. Think of it like incomplete sentences and we have to play fill in the blanks, except the blanks are whole paragraphs. I think it is because it has more pieces to it.\" I stared down at the object, a rusty brown colour and cylindrical with grooves running through it like a jagged river, it felt heavy in my hand.\n\nLudwig nodded, \"we expected as much. What can you see?\"\n\nI squinted, trying to draw as much information as I could, squeezing every last drop from the twisted towel. \"A... conflict. There is strife, there is pain to come.\"\n\n\"Can you tell us when?\" The man who asked called himself Jack the Ripper, I doubted it was his real name, but his sudden affinity with blades gave him the moniker. A skill he also gained after the 'Event'.\n\n\"No. I can't even tell what is causing the conflict. It's too cloudy, like a corrupted file.\"\n\n\"Fuck.\" Jack wasn't good at composure.\n\n\"It's fine, we expected this.\" Ludwig turned to the team, his back to me, the gleaming steel of his three hundred pound sword in full display.\n\n\"Kevin. Do you think you can find us the rest since we have this one?\" Merlin asked.\n\nI closed my eyes again and clenched them shut in concentration, I could see a trail. A faint pull that guided me. It was almost invisible, but present nonetheless.\n\n\"Yes, I think I can. But before that-\"\n\n\"Good. Abigail and Clay, you are on standby until we have further information.\"\n\n\"Um, excuse me?\" I tried to cut into Ludwig’s stream of orders, but there was no room for just a boy who happened to gain the 'Appraisal' skill.\n\n\"Xiao, Merlin and I will be going with Mr. Braton to find the second piece. We will radio in once we know more.\"\n\n\"For fucks sake!\" I didn't even try to hide my frustration, their attention now drawn to me. \"What the fuck is going on? I am not just going to come with you until you explain.\"\n\nLudwig looked to his team, none of them showing any sign of disapproval.\n\n\"We will brief you on the way.\" Ludwig said.\n\n\"Can you please get out of my store? You are scaring the customers.\" The pawn shop owner finally said, his expression one of frustration as he pleaded for us to leave.\n\nWe entered an escort limo with tinted windows, as it was just Abigail and Ludwig sitting opposite me on the black leather seats. Ludwig's behemoth sword carried in one of the military jeeps.\n\n\"Look. I get it that there seems to be something very strange going on here, but can someone please explain to me what is happening? And to add to that, I work for a museum! All I do is appraise things and get money for it.\"\n\n\"We are very well aware of your identity, Mr. Braton. You have made quite a name for yourself travelling the world and shining more light on history. It is quite a feat that where our historians struggled to fill in the missing pieces, you came along and did it in a few months, and all of that without any prior knowledge.\"\n\n\"Fortune favours the fortunate.\" I replied with sardonic modesty.\n\nLudwig chuckled, \"that it does. Regardless, there is no one else who has the 'Appraisal' skill as far as we know.\"\n\n\"But that is all I have; appraising, I can't make weapons manifest out of thin air nor wield a behemoth weapon as if it were a butter knife.\"\n\n\"That is what we are here for, to offer you protection.\"\n\n\"I don't care what this is, you can do it by yourself, or find another. Drop me off home.\"\n\n\"Absolutely not! This is greater than you! You cannot just-\" Ludwig silenced Abigail with a raised hand.\n\n\"We cannot force him to join us, but before we drop you back home. At least listen to why we need you.\"\n\n\"And what if I tell people? Didn't you say it is top secret?\"\n\n\"Well, I am confident that even once you know, you wouldn't tell a soul.\"\n\nI sat there considering his words, pushing my rolled tongue into the wall of my cheek. I don't know why I was hesitating, I already knew they had me in their trap.\n\n\"I'm listening.\"\n\nA holographic image appeared showing a spinning earth between our seats. Followed by many holographic images of videos around the world. \"As you know, the 'Event' addresses the sudden appearance of super powers around the world, they come up as 'Skills'. And as you might know, the reason we call them 'Skills' is because of their peculiar nature, and how they resemble video game skills. Yours being the upgraded skill to appraise an item, Abigail's the infinite satchel, where she can store countless items in a single pocket. And my-\"\n\n\"Two-handed sword skill. Please, I live within an MMO world.\" A hint of pride in my retort.\n\n\"Good, so this will make it a lot easier to explain.\" The holographic earth and images vanished, replaced by the item from the pawn shop and a distorted image of a hooded man caught on camera.\n\n\"Who is that?\" I asked.\n\n\"We don't know, what we do know is that he came from the future, and he came with the item that we found and bought in the pawn shop. He sent us a note, asking us to find the piece, and all the others with it, if we want to save the world.\"\n\n\"And how do I fit in all this?\"\n\n\"Well, he asked for you specifically, advising that we find you.\"\n\n\"Are you sure?\"\n\nAbigail nodded, \"he said you were integral.\"\n\n\"And why do you believe his words? He could just be a lunatic, or playing a prank. Perhaps there is a skill that distorts item information?\"\n\nLudwig and Abigail exchanged hesitant looks. \"We can't devulge how we know this, but it's true, there will be a war in the future. More powers will awaken, and strife will come.\"\n\nWorry rose within me as I began to realise how dire his warnings were.\n\n\"How bad? 'World war 3' bad?\"\n\n\"Worse. We are talking about the coming of Apocalypse.\"\n\nI stared at the holographic image of the item, and it was only when I looked back up that I realised: we were already at the airport.\n\n***\n\n/r/KikiWrites",
"“What are you looking for?”\n\nThe overweight man with a sweat-stained tank top and four days of stubble seated on a metal folding chair behind the counter looked like he grew out of the pawn shop itself, less an individual hired to work here and more a limb of the place that had been birthed alongside the dingy business and would die with it, too.\n\nEvery store dealing in the misery of others, the heirlooms and hand-me-downs of dozens of destitute lives sold off for pennies on the dollar to make ends meet one month before the payday lenders get their take, has someone like this employed.\n\nAn expert on the value of all things ordinary, an arbitrage opportunist with his pulse on eBay.\n\nI’d been through enough of these places in enough cities in enough dingy strip malls to know the type. But if the pawn broker had a natural enemy in the world, it was someone like me, if there was anyone else like me.\n\nI can hold an object and see its history as clear as you can see what you had for lunch the day before. A series of memories at once familiar and strange, things I know have happened but things I’ve never experienced myself.\n\nIt gives me an edge.\n\nA necklace of “diamonds” who’s past is a dirty basement filed with forgeries, or that signed baseball who’d never come near the pitcher who’s name is scrawled across it, are easy avoids.\n\nAn engagement ring full of pain and nightmares, a guitar who never made their owner’s dreams come true, not the worst things I’ve seen but nothing that’ll get my jimmies roaring.\n\nBut a gun.\n\nI ask to hold it, to check it’s weight, and the instant it hits my hands I know something’s different.\n\nIt’s me I see. This one remembers me.\n\nI’m here in this shop, ducked behind the counter, fumbling a few rounds into it. The sweat and blood stained tank top lying on the ground next to me, full of the broker’s stillness. Shouts that I can’t make out. My heavy breathing.\n\nBut then a slam brings me back to now. Two men, both in masks, have battered through the front door and they’re pointing guns of their own at the pawn broker.\n\nI leap over the counter as their shots ring out and the future comes to pass.",
"######[](#dropcap)\n\nFelicity's hands grazed over the object. It was made out of metal, with various bits and bobbles that didn't quite make sense. The tip was rounded, and it looked almost like a screwdriver. \n\nShe glanced over at the old man who had fallen asleep behind the counter, his legs up on the desk and his mouth gaping wide open. He definitely wasn't going to wake up for a while. \n\nSo she turned your attention back to the object, pressing her fingers to it, and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, she found herself standing in a clear, glass dome. She gawked at the people passing by who were different colors. Some of them were purple, others green, and one who even looked like a centipede and a dog had sex. \n\n\"Excuse me! Please *move*.\" \n\nFelicity took a step back, and what looked like a piece of human flesh stretched out into a rectangular shape was wheeled past. Her breaths came faster and faster. None of this made sense. She'd been to 18th century London before, and 15th century China, and all sorts of places. But this...her gaze turned toward the orb in the middle of the dome that projected out the words \"Central Market\" on it. Earth didn't have this technology. \n\nFelicity grabbed the arm of a woman walking by. She looked human. Normal. Normal was good. \n\n\"Excuse me, what year is this? And where am I?\" \n\nThe woman stared at her. And then she began chortling, her hair rapidly transitioning between vibrant shades of pinks and yellows. \"Dear, you sure you're not from the med bay?\" She turned to leave, still gleefully laughing. \n\n\"Can you just tell me?\" Felicity asked. \n\nPerhaps the woman heard the hint of desperation and panic in her voice. \"It's 2880, and we're on Earth,\" she said, gesturing toward the orb, which now conveniently gave out the information that Felicity was just asking for. \n\n\"Thanks,\" Felicity said. But she felt numb. It couldn't possibly be. \n\nBut then, impossibly, through the hustle and bustle of the market, she heard the crisp sound of a bell tinkling. Much like the ones attached to the front of stores. \n\nShe blinked. She was back in the pawn shop again. A man blew through the door, and he began diving into the shelves. He was quite tall and lanky, and he wore the most hideous suspenders. She supposed he wasn't bad looking, but she wasn't quite sure who still wore bow ties in this day and age. \n\nThe old man manning the counter woke up from the racket, and upon seeing the man toss things this way and that, he got up angrily, walking toward him. \n\n\"Look here, young man. I don't know who you are, but you shouldn't come in and-\" \n\nThe man simply put a finger to the old man's lips as he looked around the shop, peering this way and that. \"Have you seen a screwdriver looking thing? I've been missing mine, and I've tracked it down to this precise-\" His gaze landed on the object in Felicity's hand, and his eyes lit up. \n\n\"Aha! That's it!\" He walked over, taking it out of her hands. Then he kissed it, raising it to the sky. \"Oh, how I've missed you so.\" He pressed a button, and the end of it lit up, turning bright green, even as it began making a buzzing sound. \n\nThen he turned to Felicity. \"Thank you, my dear. You don't know how inconvenient it is trying to get around without this thing. I've been looking for it for-\" \n\n\"What is it?\" Felicity asked. She felt surprisingly calm given the eccentricity of the man in front of her. He definitely wasn't American, that was for sure. He had the strongest British accent she'd ever heard. And to be honest, he didn't even seen like he was from this time period. \n\nHe smiled, a huge one that made her feel like this man could be nothing but a good man. \"It's a sonic screwdriver,\" he said as if that explained everything. Suddenly, he tapped the screwdriver against his head. \"Silly me. I've forgotten to introduce myself.\" He stuck out a hand, shaking hers up and down vigorously. \n\n\"Hello, nice to meet you.\" he said. \"You might have heard of me. I'm the Doctor.\"\n\n****\n\nr/AlannaWu\n",
"Anna wasn't a city girl, but she did venture to the markets on a semiregular basis and found herself in a trinket shop hardly different from any other. The walls were lined with odd tapestries and art pieces. Shelves lined every wall and almost all the floor space, affording little room to walk between them. They were full of wooden figures, gemstone rings, deeds of dubious origin, pagan relics, utensils, coinage of fallen empires, and simple copper cups.\n\nBut on the far wall, a sword mounted on a porcelain plaque caught her eye. It was about six feet in length, made of an unusual rose-colored alloy. The blade was engraved with waves of fire. The hilt was similarly decorated, it being of a black metal inlaid with the same crimson alloy. A decorative sword, she reasoned. To sell a functional weapon at such a place, and not a blacksmiths, would be highly unusual. The blade even looked a bit thin for its length to be functional.\n\nShe reached out a hand towards the crimson metal. It gave off a little warmth, like a living thing, that she sensed before touching it.\n\nThe moment skin touched metal, visions flashed through her mind. She saw the sword, and herself with it. It was carried up cold, high peaks. Over dunes and valleys. Across infinite seas. It slew kings and destroyed kingdoms, and in doing so plunged civilization into unseen depths of barbarism. But with each low, it rose to even greater heights. She saw this sword's destiny: to forge a new humanity that, without such a force, would never exist. She hastily withdrew her hand and knew what she had to do.\n\nShe brought the impossibly lightweight claymore to the counter and placed a handful of coins beside it. A trifling amount, even for such a worthless relic, but, to her surprise, the shopkeeper did not barter.\n\nAnna recollected that memory fondly. How many years had it been, exactly? She was only halfway across the frozen mountain peaks. The tough climb and thin air pushed her body to its limits. With every weary step, the temptation to rest grew stronger. But here, she would never recoup the strength to stand up from a resting position. So she pressed on, determined to descend by the far slope, because she would carry this sword to its destiny.\n\nA ranger by the name of Boris was scaling the mountain peaks when he came across the unpleasant sight of a downed climber. It wasn't the first, but it pained him all the same. Why did amateurs try to pass through here alone? Further, why take a heavy and unnecessary payload as a broadsword strapped to one's back?\n\nHe touched the crimson metal, then hastily withdrew as though it were a hot iron. In an instant, he knew what he had to do."
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Continue the prompt starting with that dialogue
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[WP] "A change of scenery can be good for the soul" ..."We're in a cell"
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"“A change of scenery can be good for the soul.”\n\n“Rory, we’re in a cell.” It’s got to be the hundredth time he’s spouted another useless pick-me-up.\n\n“So?” he retorts. “It’s easy: just look out the window and you’ll see something new.”\n\n“Rory, we don’t have a window.”\n\nHe seems pretty stumped by this for a second and I think I’ve finally beaten down his endlessly cheerful disposition. I watch his lips twitch toward a frown, but then his eyes light up.\n\n*Oh no*, I think.\n\n“Of course! Just close your eyes!” he exclaims. “There, ha! Something different.”\n\nFor a second, I want to scream, bang my boney arms on the cool stone walls, anything. But I’ve already done all of that and I know there’s no point anymore. So I push my frustrations and anger deep, deep down and give Rory a close-lipped smile.\n\n“You got me, bud.”\n\nRory just grins, pleased with himself. I can’t get too angry at him; the kid is only fifteen. From the crooked way his nose has set and the partial deafness in one ear from one too many good clouts to the head, I can tell he’s never had it easy. In fact, I wonder if this must be a sort of vacation for him.\n\nI’m about to say something to him, maybe an apology, when a loud buzzer goes off above our heads. \n\n*“Will Player 005 and Player 562 please stand against the back of Wall 3. Repeat, will Player —“*\n\nI tune out the blaring robotic voice. It’s got to be the tenth time I’ve heard this speech. Rory and I slouch over to the wall and stand with our backs against the freezing stone. He looks nervously at me and I try to give him a reassuring grin; we both already know what’s coming and neither of us is excited about it.\n\nThere’s a quiet beep from outside before the stone wall across from us slides away into some hidden compartment. I grimace as I see the official-looking man standing imperiously on the other side. He pushes his bushy eyebrows together as he looks first at Rory and then at me. Since I don’t know his name, I’ve taken to calling him Caterpillar after, you know, said eyebrows.\n\nAs always, the first thing after his eyebrows that catches my attention are his highly polished boots. He clicks them together once before stepping into our cell and I can’t help but think of Dorothy from *The Wizard of Oz*. I swallow my smile quickly, biting the inside of my cheek.\n\n*Bad, Dean. No.* I scold my inner child angrily.\n\nThe wall behind Caterpillar slides shut as he presses something on the touchpad on his inner wrist. Caterpillar grimaces, looking at me. He’s wrinkling his nose like he’s smelled something awful. I wince internally at that thought; we’ve been in here for long enough that maybe he has.\n\n“So,” the man says, “how’re my two favorite Hacs today?”\n\nI start at his words. Most Respondents with the League just call us by the official acronym, B.I.M.G. That is, Banned and Illicit Maneuvers in Gameplay. As for the players? They call us ‘Hacs,’ short for ‘Hackers And Cheaters’. It’s all semantics really, but you never hear the slang from Respondents.\n\nRory swipes his eyes confusedly over to me before looking back at Caterpillar. He looks like he’s about to say something infinitely stupid, so I quickly jump in.\n\n“Just fine, sir.”\n\nThere’s a glimmer in Caterpillar’s eyes, almost like amusement, that I’ve never seen before as he looks at me. Before I can process what it means, he suddenly lowers his voice to a conspiratorial whisper.\n\n“So,” he says, “you boys ready to get out of here?”\n\nI’m about to point out that at thirty-two years I am not, under any circumstances, considered a boy anymore when Rory shouts, “Yes!”\n\n“Oh Jesus, shut up!” Caterpillar scream-whispers. “Do you know how long it took for me to find you two? You realize the League was keeping you in one of the lowest dungeons of the Desert Realm?”\n\nMy heart drops at that, but I’m still confused.\n\n“Wait, wait, hold up,” I say. “Who are you? What the hell happened to Caterpillar?”\n\nCaterpillar looks confused again. “Who’s Caterpill — Whuhuh?— Oh,” he says as Rory points, giggling, at the two affronted-looking eyebrows on Caterpillar’s face.\n\n“Look, forget about that,” he continues, waving away Rory’s hand impatiently. “I’m surprised you haven’t already realized, Dean. We spent a few solid years in Stag’s guild together after all.”\n\nMy jaw almost hits the floor. “*Sith*?”\n\n“Calling me by my old League name. Ha!” he laughs. “Been awhile since I’ve heard it. Anyway, it’s about time we were on the move; Caterpillar’s going to be pretty pissed once he realizes I copied his Respondent Mod.”\n\nAs I watch, Caterpillar’s face flickers out of existence for a moment and it’s briefly replaced with the familiar toothy grin of one of my oldest friends.\n\n“Ready to get the hell out of dodge?” he says with a Cheshire smile. Rory looks to me questioningly, but I don’t hesitate for a second.\n\n“Oh, you already know the answer,” I say, cracking my knuckles.\n\n\n\n*PS*: I know you posted this awhile ago, I just didn’t have a chance to upload my response. Thanks for a cool prompt idea!\n\t\n\t"
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[WP] "I slept in Heaven, but woke up in Hell."
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"It was a carefree portion of my young life. I had arrived in Delmas, the capital city, in time for the Festival of Munta. The sacred ceremonial veneration of the Most High God Muntarn. What a wondrous sight it was to behold, especially to my twenty-year-old eyes. The cobbled streets were packed with denizens and tourists alike, milling about as a cohesive horde of human flesh. The weather was most fair, setting a perfect tone for the festivities to come in the following week.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nReligion permeated the everyday lifestyle throughout the kingdom, particularly in Delmas where the Temple was located. The ascetics and priests formed a solemn procession and made their way from the city gates to the Great Hall with bare feet. With each step the vanguard of ascetics would lash their bare backs with leather whips studded with nails, tearing into their flesh and releasing their lifeblood into the world. A steady red trail painted the streets behind their dark parade. It was on this first day of the Festival that the High Priest would bless the kingdom and the coming year, an event that garnered a sea of attendees. \n\n&nbsp;\n\nEven in light of all the religiosity and reverent fervor religion was not the only thing that resounded within the people. The Festival was by far the largest single gathering of people in the kingdom, and many of those people had more of an investment in ale and merry times than the bleak pious practices. And as such, a wide array of festival goers roved the districts going from tavern to tavern much like an army of ants undertakes errands to appease their queen. And that was precisely the reason I had made the pilgrimage to Delmas.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAlthough I had came in a quest for hedonsim I, too, ended up leaving with a religious experience under my belt. It happened on the first night in town, that night I slept in Heaven, and awoke in Hell.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\n\"Speak, vile one!\" barked a gravelly voice from the other side of my blindfold. Icy tendrils pricked and stung my naked skin as someone dumped a bucket of frigid water onto me. My consciousness was beginning to return to me; instinctively I tried to move myself, only to feel the pull and hear the clanging of the chains in which I was bound. A fist, I think, suddenly connected with my jaw and sent my head violently to the side, \"You will reveal yourself, demon!\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWith just enough cognitive acuity required I managed to mumble, \"Wh-where am I? Who are you?\" I was answered with another forceful blow to the jaw, I had a feeling that one may have broken my jaw. More freezing cold water was dumped upon me and the shivers sent a throbbing pain up into my jaw as they worked their way up my body. Another blow, this time a heavy kick, was planted into my abdomen, robbing me of all my breath.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"By the Holy Hand of Muntarn, you will confess and repent! You will atone for what you've done and reveal your fellow despicable creatures!\" A succession of blows were rained down upon me; I felt the blood beginning to seep from my mouth and dribble down my chin. Faced with these accusations my mind raced to try and reconcile the situation. What had I done last night? Had I gotten blacked out drunk and committed some heinous act? Could I have murdered someone?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI spat a mouthful of blood onto the floor, \"What did I do? How did I get here?\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe same raspy voice replied, \"Ah, he doesn't remember, does he? Convenient. Allow me to refresh your memory, if I may. You were found at the Red Raven Inn, stumbling and incoherent. To the untrained eye you would've appeared excessively inebriated. But, no, a priest happened to be passing by and when he found you in your state he identified you for what you are. He saw the possession in you for what it was. Demonic. Why have you come to Delmas? Who sent you? What're your intentions?\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\nPossessed? Demon? I was completely taken aback and at an utter loss for words. What could I possibly say to appease my interrogator? Especially him being a zealot, he would only accept the answers he wanted to hear. I coughed and more pain radiated throughout my jaw, \"I think I remember going there, to the inn. A few fellows introduced themselves to me and they offered to buy me a few rounds. We seemed to get along well and we spent the night drinking. That's all I remember, I swear!\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe interrogator slapped me across the face, \"You do not blaspheme in my presence by swearing! You are unworthy! These men, do you know their names or what they looked like? We know the Legion has been amassing their ranks in preperation for an attack on all that is Holy! Speak now!\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"No, I don't remember the men! I told you we drank the bloody night away!\" And then suddenly my vision was restored and I could see. I wasn't sure what I was seeing, but I could see. There was a figure before me, robed in black. I felt a strange pull from the being, I couldn't resist it. As I was standing inches in front of it a voice rang out, \"Thank you, young Merl. You have served your purpose and met the ends that we sought. Do not fret, you will no longer suffer at the hands of these men, these so called men of piety.\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"Who are you?\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"I am Muntarn, the Everlasting. I have chosen you as a vehicle to carry out my biddings. Do not fear. When I return you to your body your captors will be no longer an issue and your chains shall be broken. You must at once flee the city, head for the Hilken Forests. I will meet you there.\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI was catapulted back into reality and thrown into my own body. Sure enough, my hands were freed. I removed the blindfold from my swelling eyes and immediately realized I had indeed awoken in a Hell. Scattered about me in the dank cellar I was being held in were the bodies of five priests. Blood streamed down their faces from their eye sockets, sockets that had been vacated of their eyeballs. Trembling I looked down and saw that my hands, too, were covered in blood.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFor one night of Heaven I am now condemned to an existence of Hell. I write this to you on my last night of my voyage to the Hilken Forests. I don't know what will become of me, I just wished to leave some sort of evidence in hopes that somehow someone will one day read this. I need you to know that I am not a *monster*.\n\n"
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[WP] you are the murder in the midst of a lockdown at a house party. The body was discovered but nobody suspects you yet. You claim yourself to be a detective and begin falsifying evidence and planting fake clues to set everyone against one another.
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"Theo sat at the couch with his old classmates, listening to loud music and making useless chatter with an eerily convincing smile. But he was only here to see one old “friend” - Ross, whose bullish face had remained unchanged over the years since Theo had seen him last, abusing him in the high school halls. Theo's faux grin began to lower slightly in remembrance while the others gabbed on.\n\n“Danny even recreated the punch from prom. Perfection.”\n\n“I'd say it's better this time, he spiked it!”\n\n“Pretty sure he spiked it back in school too.”\n\nThe group laughed, and Ross got up clenching his stomach.\n\n“With what, laxatives? Back in a sec' guys,” Ross said with a conflicted chuckle.\n\nNow was his chance. Theo monitored him as he crossed the living room, entering the hall toward the bathroom. He waited intentionally for a few moments, then stood.\n\n“Grabbin' a smoke,” Theo said at a hardly noticeable volume.\n\nTheo took a step toward the hall, which lead to both the bathroom and the back door. Then someone grabbed him by the arm.\n\n“Come on, the party's almost over! You can wait that long.” \tJoyce smiled sweetly, looking up at him. His false smile disappeared as he shot her a cruel glance. She \nlet go, and her smile too was lost. What an irritating girl. He turned again, crossed the room, and entered the hall.\n\nHalf way down, he checked back carefully for any peers. There were none watching. The knife concealed in his sleeve dropped into his palm, and he stood against the \nbathroom door. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and focused.\n\nTheo opened the door and slipped in, closing it swiftly behind him. Ross was standing at the vanity, and couldn't manage a word before Theo jolted at him. He caught the \nblow however, and the two grabbed each other. Theo pushed his entire weight onto the brute, and managed to pin his head against the vanity, shattering the glass. In this \nmovement, his arm became free, and he drove the knife into Ross' side. After a brief moment, his body lost its energy, and he began to drop to the floor.\n\nThe freed glass of the vanity fell in shards, accumulating in the sink loudly. Thinking fast, Theo slammed both hands against the glass, cutting deeply into his palms. \nHe quietly lowered the pieces into the sink, bloody handfuls at a time. He tried brushing off the shards from his hands, but a few were stuck deeply. The more time he \nspent in there, the bigger the chance of being caught, so he buried his hands into his jean pockets.\n\nHe cracked the door open, and saw no face turned his direction from the living room. Closing the door softly behind him, he briskly made way for the back door down the \nhall, leaving the bloody scene behind him. In the yard was a dimming sky. Theo pulled out a box of cigarettes and a lighter, lighting up and leaning against the wall. \nAfter a couple minutes, Harry came from the house to join his old friend. Theo buried his hands back into his pockets before his injuries were noticed.\n\n“Theo, never got a chance to talk with you yet! How's it --” He was cut off by a scream of horror.\n\n\n\nInside, a girl had discovered the scene. The body of Ross, in a pool of blood, complimented by the piles of glass soaked in red. Friends rushed to her call, and to Ross' \naid, but he was long dead. The music was switched off, and the chatter lessened. People began to gather. 911 was dialed. Danny, host of the reunion, passed through the \ncrowd and stood at the doorway of the bathroom. As the wheels turned, he took initiative and stopped everyone in their tracks.\n\n“Nobody move a muscle! We need to find who did this,” he announced.\t\n\nThe air fell dead silent.\n\n“Everyone move slowly into the living room, we're doing a head count!”\n\nAfter everyone gathered in a circle, Theo, following Harry, reentered the house and walked down the hall. He started to formulate a plan. Harry passed the bathroom, backed into a wall, hands over his mouth in shock.\n\n“Jesus...” he said under his breath.\n\nDanny caught the two in the hall, and beckoned.\n\n“Was it you?” he asked Harry.\n\n“What? What happened? Is he dead?” Harry responded with a cracking voice.\n\n“Both of you get in here,” Danny demanded.\n\nEntering the living room, the two were met with stares. They were the only ones outside.\n\n“Sit,” Danny said firmly.\n\nAll members of the reunion stood and sat around the center of the room. Some stared blankly in shock, some cried, some look frightened. Danny began questioning them one \nby one: where were you?; how long?; can anyone confirm that?; what's your relationship with Ross?\n\nNext in line was Harry, standing just beside Theo. Another old victim to Ross' ceaseless bullying, but he had gotten over it. Kids are stupid, he would say. No worries. \nHarry was one of Theo's only friends back then, and Theo knew him well.\n\n“Harry. You were outside. Where were you before then?” Danny questioned.\n\nHarry looked up, “Um, near the stereo,” his tone becoming more nervous, “Alone.”\n\nDanny stared at his face carefully. Theo dislodged a large bloodied shard of glass from his hand, and covertly slipped it into Harry's hoodie pocket.\n\n“Then you came out back, with me.” Theo stepped aside and inserted himself into the exchange, “Through the hall.”\n\nHarry's spine came short of a shiver, “Wait, no! I didn't kill him!”\n\n“Ross bullied you years ago, and you couldn't get over it, could you?” Theo rambled on and the air shifted, a few gasping in realization. The sound of sirens slowly grew \ninto context from down the street.\n\n“You would always say, 'I'm over it', but that wasn't true. You despised Ross, and your anger grew for years until you were invited to this reunion. You thought, 'This \nis my chance!'” Theo asserted.\n\nHarry was gaping in disbelief. Danny opened the front door as a police car and an ambulance stopped outside, and a policeman headed in.\n\n“What's that, Harrison?” Theo pointed at the bloodied shard sticking out of Harry's pocket, and the room took notice.\n\n“You're a monster,” Theo said suppressing a smirk.",
"\"And the murderer is someone in this very room\"\n\n***GASP!***\n\nThomas Ection paced back and forth in the smoking room (whatever that is) of the mansion. \"I can deduce this by a number of clues...\" He pulled a magnifying glass from his coat pocket and began 'inspecting' the suspects.\n\n\"Firstly, the clock in the room with the body was broken at exactly 3:24. The only people without alibis at that time are Lady Cecilia, Mister Thurgood, and Colonel Mustard.\"\n\nColonel Mustard fidgeted uneasily in his yellow on beige military uniform. Mister Thurgood fiddled with his moustache. \"Well I never! The mere suggestion that I could have something to do with this... foul... foul... foul play! It's just absurd!\"\n\n\"All three of you have secrets you are keeping. Like for example how Lady Cecilia got her lipstick on Mister Thurgoods SMOKING JACKET!\" Thomas raised the red stained jacket for everyone to see.\n\n\"Oh Reginald! How could you?!?\" Mrs Thurgood exclaimed, slapping Mister Thurgood and storming from the room. \n\n\"But, but...\" he stumbled over his words \"I did no such thing! I have no idea how that got there. I don't even OWN a smoking jacket!\"\n\n\"No matter! For they are not the murderer. Their torrid affair is nothing more than the dalliance of a scoundrel.\"\n\n\"Hey!\" Reginald Thurgood interjected \"I'm no scoundrel!\"\n\n\"And I'm no strumpet!\" Lady Cecilia shouted indignantly.\n\n\"The real murderer...\" Thomas began again, \"Has been lying to us the whole time, even about their very name...\" The room held their breath. \"Isn't that right... MAJOR MUSTARD!\"\n\n***GASP AGAIN!***\n\n\"Bwuh, uh, I,\" Major Mustard floundered \"Well. The jig is up I guess. I only made it to the rank of Major. I just always wanted to be a Colonel and thought I could get away with it... But I'm not a murderer!\"\n\nThe room erupted in accusations \"How can we trust you?\" \"If you lie about your name what else do you lie about?\" \"Was he passed over for promotion because he couldn't cut the mustard?\"\n\n\"Excuse me...\" the policeman standing in the doorway asked. The hoi polloi took no notice. \"EXCUSE ME!\" the policeman yelled again more insistently. The room quieted down and they turned to face him. \"I understand we have some amateur sleuth working the case.\" He looked around the room, \"Looks like it's you,\" he gestured to Thomas Ection.\n\nHe was taken aback \"How did you know? You must be quite the detective.\"\n\n\"Well it's not that hard, we've had multiple reports of an unknown detective breaking into homes to solve recent murders. Very suspicious activity. Plus you are wearing the trademark Sherlock Holmes hat and pipe. Thomas admired himself in the mirror briefly.\n\nThe police officer walked up, smiled, and said \"Mister Ection I presume?\""
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