Split (1)

train · 199k rows

post_text stringlengths 0 17.5k	post_title stringlengths 8 314	comment_texts listlengths 1 74	num_stories int64 1 74
	[WP] You’re a powerful witch. If a witch falls pregnant with a magic filled child, she loses her powers until the child is born. This morning you just woke up, sore, and nauseous. What’s worse your powers are flicking off and on.	[ "For a moment, all I can feel is the grog as its remains swirl out of my head, with the accompanying migraines to match. Shouldn't have indulged in the mead too much, they always bring these inconveniences behind their honeyed approach. Oh well. I did say I would be out of the picture for a few decades, so I might have had a few too much with the girls beyond my considerable fortitude. At least there always is prestidigitation and magical hands to do the morning routines. Something is off though, among the paper warren that needs to be stowed away. A piece of parchment which was definitely not there when I left for drinks.\n\nO yfory fyddwych chi gael hiraeth o ddoe ac dydd hen\nGwrando ar hyd y nos am y sain yn eich bol\nyma pryd y byddwch chi'n gwybod pam\n\nDefinitely what a certain redhead would write. It is not the only odd thing though. First, it dropped twice when I was lifting it over. Once may be from the hangover, but twice? That is something else. Wait a minute. ‘Eich bol’? My belly doesn’t seem that off, and everyone there last night is female. As a freckled mousy young one would note, magic is powerful, but some biological facts could not be bent without specifically trying. If someone pulled that off with that much alcohol, they would probably be even more powerful than Circe. Could it be that winged thing that showed up past midnight and said some stuff so cryptic that I could not parse and mumbled back in that state of mind? I mean, my fiancee is said to have descended from a noble house, but it could not be that one, right? Suddenly, there is a sound emanating below my ears. Nobody should be able to get past the wards around the room and sneak in. So what’s this? More hungover malfunctioning? Yet the beat refuses to stop, and for several frightful seconds, the winds stopped singing, leaving me with more heartbeats than I should have. They come from my belly.\n" ]	1
	[WP] Peas and mayonnaise pizza has been invented. Pineapple and non-pineapple pizza eaters must put their differences aside to defeat this evil.	[ "Before that day, I, nor anyone else would ever guess that the Pineapple Federation and Cheese Confederacy would fight side-by-side. Well, we were all wrong. That day changed everything. I still remember it like it was yesterday...\n\n*The Great Pizza War of Unification, started at the end of the Pineapple Wars, and ended the Age of Pepperoni, and began the Age of Basil\n\nI was still a young man at the time. I had only been enlisted in the Pineapple Federation for a few months when it happened. You see I enlisted in the Pineapple Federation not because I enjoyed pineapple-pizza. In fact, I hated the stuff. What I did enjoy though was the idea that anyone could put anything they wanted on pizza. Pizza shouldn't be some divisive, judgmental, constrained medium where only a few variations were acceptable. No! Pizza was supposed to be a blank template where anyone could express and celebrate their own differences by crafting this blank slate into a beautiful garden of different toppings and flavors! That's what pizza meant to me, and that's why I fought alongside pineapple eaters. My view on this was so anchored to my very core, I thought nothing could change my mind. Boy, was I mistaken...\n\nThere I stood, wearing my standard issue armor. A pizza box with a neck-hole cut in it as my chest-plate, an empty two liter on each of my arms as forearm guards, a small pizza box as my shield, a bread stick as my sword, and an empty aluminium-foil take-out container strapped to my head for a helmet. This might not sound like much, but a pineapple warrior could get a lot done with this gear.\n\nI was with my platoon, preparing for an ambush on Parmesan Bridge when the news hit. Of course, the news didn't reach us boots on the ground grunt soldiers. All that we were told at first was that the ambush was canceled.\n\n\"The ambush is canceled immediately,\" our Commander said.\n\n\"Wait, why!?\" Private Oregano asked.\n\n\"The reasoning is on a need to know basis,\" Commander Bacon replied.\n\n\"What if the Cheese Confederacy forces find our hiding spot??? By design we were only supposed to wait here for a few minutes before the ambush, they'd be able to pick us off easily!\" Sargent Pepper said, panicking with fear.\n\n\"Yeah!\" several voices agreed.\n\n\"The freedom to eat pizza as we choose is worth fighting for, is it not?\" Commander Bacon asked.\n\n\"Yes, but we enlisted because of that ideal, not because we wanted to get caught up in the politics and bureaucracy of the Federation!\" Sergeant Pepper replied.\n\nIt was too late. We could hear the footsteps of the Cheese soldiers on the bridge ahead of us. That's when something truly remarkable happened.\n\n\"Whoever is commanding the Pineapple forces in the trees, come out. I bring an urgent message!\" the commander of the Cheese platoon said, obviously able to see us in our hiding spot amongst the trees.\n\nCommander Bacon stepped out and conversed with the Cheese officer. Within a few minutes, he gave the signal, and the rest of our platoon stepped onto the bridge with him.\n\n\"We are under new orders. These men our now our allies. I'll now let Captain Provolone, of the Cheese Confederacy speak.\" Commander Bacon said.\n\n\"Hello soldiers of the Pineapple Federation. Today we cease fire against each other in order to stop a great evil. Just this week, in a laboratory not far from here, radical pizza scientists have developed a new pizza: Mayonnaise and Peas...\" Captain Provolone paused for a moment to gag, as many of the soldiers gasped. He continued \"This atrocity is an abomination to pizza eaters everywhere. It is a crime against food, and must be stopped.\"\n\nAs I looked around at the faces of my fellow soldiers, I saw anger, fear, worry, but most of all, sadness. It's true that I believed in the freedom of expression with pizza, but something inside me broke at that moment. My innocent view of the world was shattered, and I could never get it back.\n\nThe men were scared, and they needed somewhere to place it.\n\n\"I'll never fight alongside these oppressors!\" one of my platoon-mates screamed. There was some shouts of agreement from my other platoon-mates, who were merely trying to hold on to something that made sense to them after hearing about such an unspeakable atrocity.\n\nCommander Bacon soon put an end to the squabble.\n\n\"Listen! Sure, the Cheese Confederacy tried to control what we put on our pizza in the past. They tried to tell us what we could and couldn't do with our own pizza, but that doesn't matter now. If we let these Mayonnaise and Pea eating barbarians continue with their monstrosity pizzas, then pretty soon it won't matter what kind of pizza we were or weren't allowed to eat in the past, because pizza will be ruined forever. If we do nothing, pizza will be lost forever*. Do you want to look in the dissatisfied eyes of your children as they eat pasta or salad, as they ask \"why can we no longer eat pizza?\" and answer them \"I couldn't put my pride down so we lost pizza forever\"? Or will you stand now, and fight for the greater good of pizza?!\" Commander Bacon spoke with such confidence, such clarity. Both sides erupted in cheers.\n\nEverything after that happened so fast. We marched to the laboratory. We met up with squads from both the Cheese Confederacy and Pineapple Federation. We charged the main doors, and from there it was a frenzy.\n\nWe bombarded the assembly line with our pizza catapults, crippling their production. We ran through and captured most of the rogue scientists. Those that resisted were swiftly met by the sharp end of a bread stick, or scolding cheese from a slice of pizza. It was brutal.\n\nAfter the raid, there were only a few pockets of resistance from the Mayonnaise Rogues, but they were soon all defeated within a few weeks.\n\nThe Raid on Mayo Factory was the most gruesome battle in all of the Pizza War, but without it those pea-chomping bastards may have had their way, and pizza would've been lost forever.\n\n " ]	1
	[WP] The story of those you leave behind after you die	[ "He dropped the flowers into the trashcan, slumping at the kitchen table, tie half undone. The lights were off, although street lights had just started to come on through the window. He stared out at them, holding his head in his hands like it weighed too heavy to bear. He twitched as the phone began to ring, the display lighting up the dark corner of the kitchen. With a click, the call went to voicemail.\n\n“Tom, you there? It’s Frank.” Frank paused, taking an audible breath. “Tom, you disappeared after the service. Everyone’s worried about you man, I’m worried about you. Call me back, yeah?”\n\nTom kept his eyes on the phone, a small red light blinking to let him know the message was there. He stood up heavily, crossing the room. He pressed play, deleting the call before Frank could finish his first sentence.\n\nHe opened a cabinet, pulling a bottle of whisky from it. Absentmindedly he found a glass poured himself a drink, half whisky and half water. He drained half of it in one gulp, shaking his head at the sting of the liquor. He sat down again, the half-empty glass clutched white-knuckled in one hand.\n\nTom didn’t know how much time passed. The drink was empty now, somehow, and it was pitch dark outside when a knock came at the door. He made no move to get up, and after another knock he heard the door open. He must have forgotten to lock it.\n\n“Fuck, it’s dark in here.” A man’s voice, Frank’s voice, Tom realised belatedly, coming closer with the sound of dress shoes on the hardwood floor. He flicked the lights on as he went, making his way to the kitchen before long.\n\n“Tom, what’re you doing in the dark like this?” Frank asked, eyeing the empty glass as he sat opposite the man. “I called you two hours ago, you miss it?” Frank too still wore his suit, black as coal with a black tie.\n\n“Fuck off, Frank.” Tom rose unsteadily, reaching for the whisky he’d left on the counter. “Just leave me alone today, man.”\n\nFrank moved faster, grabbing the whisky for himself. He pulled another cup from the cabinet and poured himself a drink, whisky neat. “Come on Tom, you can’t hold your booze worth shit. What’re you doing drinking this?”\n\n“Fuck off, Frank.” He made another move to grab the bottle but Frank backed away, keeping the table between the two men. “Get out of my house!”\n\n“Or what Tom, you’ll beat me? You?” Frank gestured derisively with the bottle at the shorter man. “In your dreams, bud. Sit back down. She wouldn’t want you to be like this.”\n\nTom slammed his hands into the table, the bang echoing in the empty house. “Don’t tell me what she would and wouldn't want! She was my wife, dammit!” He felt hot tears at the corners of his eyes, and tried to fight them back. He hated that, hated that he cried when he was angry. “Just fuck off, Frank! Let me grieve!” Tom slowly crumpled to the floor, as if his strength had left him with the outburst. He couldn’t stop himself as the tears came, great wracking sobs that shook his upper body.\n\nWith a thump, Frank sat himself down next to Tom, back to the cabinets. He drained his glass dry, shaking his head and sighing with satisfaction. He poured himself another, then placed the bottle down between the two men. He put one hand on Tom’s back, taking a slower, measured sip of his drink.\n\n“I knew her too, Tom. We all go way back, you know that. Come on now, I’ll let you have another drink. If there’s one thing sadder than getting drunk alone, it’s grieving alone.”\n\nTom reached blindly for the bottle, one hand wiping his eyes. Frank placed it in his hands and he took he took a swig, thrusting the bottle back at Frank as he swallowed. He coughed as he did, and Frank burst out laughing, a deep, guttural laugh.\n\n“Come on man, it’s not that funny!” Said Tom, still coughing lightly from the alcohol.\n\n“It is! It is!” Frank replied between laughs, refilling his own glass as he did. “Mr. Lightweight, Trying to look tough and drinking from the bottle!”\n\nFrank’s laughter was contagious, and before long the two old friends’ laughter filled the house, echoing from where they both sat without a care, suits and all, on the kitchen floor.\n" ]	1
	[WP] A long time ago, a wall was built around a city. Guards are posted around the wall to this day. The reason why the wall was made is lost over time, and not even guards know why they're posted there. One day, a guy slips past the guards and enters.	[ "\"Sir, you can't go beyond this point.\" I said,\n\n\"Well, why not?\" The man questioned.\n\nI thought for a bit. I've worked this boring ass job 5 years and nobody from the outside has tried to come through. So, the pages of rules I had to memorize for the entrance exam had never been kept up in my mind. \"It's just the way things are, regulations and whatnot. It's in the rules somewhere,\"\n\n\"Where are these rules?\" The man asked.\n\n\"Look man, I'm just a guard, I don't make the rules, I just know and enforce them, if you don't bugger off then I might just have to rely on my training\"\n\nI don't remember the rest, just waking up, or rather coming to with a note writen on my hand: \n\n'The library holds secrets unknown\n\nAnd I certainly can't go alone'\n\nI checked my watch. 5:37. Sweet, I get off work at 5. I should check the library for that guy.\n" ]	1
	[WP] Your spouse asks you if you would still love them even if you knew they had killed someone once. When you say yes thinking its a thought experiment, he/she says "I need to tell you something, first of all, they all deserved it..."	[ "\"First of all, they all deserved it.\" \n\n\"Wait wait wait hold on, they _all_? What did you do? How many people did you kill!?\" I was uh, well, pretty freaked out. Can you blame me? My wife, to whom I've been married four years and have one-year-old twins with, has killed someone. Sorry, _multiple_ people. Because _they all_ deserved it.\n\n\"See I knew you were going to freak out.\" She gave me that look like like this was _my_ fault.\n\nOh no honey you're not gonna make this about me, \"Just, like, just start from the beginning. Why did they deserve it? And just how many is 'they'?\"\n\n\"Okay, so.\" She paused, sorting her thoughts. She pursed her lips, her beautiful, soft, _murdering_ lips. Her eyes, her twinkling, reflection-of-a-cloudy-sky-over-a-crystal-clear-lake eyes, the eyes of a _killer_, stared off in the distance. I think she was looking at the photo of her dad on the mantle.\n\n\"So.\" I said after what felt like, well, according to my watch, one whole minute.\n\nShe took a questionably deep breath. Okay, maybe it wasn't questionably deep. But it was a _really_ deep breath. The breath of someone who's _killed_ before.\n\n\"So.\" she said, \"You know how I told you my dad worked for the government?\"\n\n\"Yeah.\"\n\n\"He never actually worked for the government. He was a hitman and security guy for some super rich dude's family, like, Italian Mafia style.\"\n\n_Ah, that explains it, she got it from her dad._\n\n\"Wasn't your dad Cuban?\"\n\n\"Not the point. But that was why my mom never told him about me, because she didn't want all that crazy shit near me. She told me he was dead, I found out she lied to me, managed to find him, meet him, all that jazz.\"\n\n\"Yeah, you said you guys got really close, he ended up being a really good dad to you.\"\n\n\"Yeah. When I asked him why mom would lie to me about him being dead, he told me what he'd been doing. That he was a hitman. And he told me not to be mad at my mom because she wanted what was best for me. She didn't want me to be exposed to... all of that.\" she took another deep breath and I couldn't help but watch her chest rise and fall.\n\nChest of a _killer._\n\n\"My dad told me that, had he known mom was pregnant, he would have found a way out. Gone to jail if he had to, anything to be there for his kid. I'm family, and family is what mattered most to him.\"\n\n\"Huh, it _is_ Italian mob style.\"\n\nShe smirked and my heart skipped a beat, just like every other time I've seen her smile.\n\n\"Well, he managed to get out of the business, or, we thought, at least. One day I got home and...\" she trailed off, twirling her finger through the natural waves of her jet black hair. I wanted to run my fingers through it and pull her close and tell her it was okay, that I loved her, and that she was safe now. Uh, I mean, the hair of a _killer_.\n\n\"I know, you told me you came home and he was dead, and there was another dead guy in the kitchen. You said it was a breaking and entering gone wrong. It wasn't, was it?\"\n\n\"Nope. Sorry, darling.\"\n\n\"Was he a guy from your dad's old employer?\"\n\n\"Rival mob... thing. My dad's old employer was actually very kind. It's um, Nick, by the way.\"\n\n\"Your friend from Arizona? He's a mob boss?!\"\n\n\"Yup.\"\n\n\"He's the godfather of our children!\"\n\n\"The same children you'll wake up. Please stop yelling.\"\n\n\"Right, sorry. It's just.\" Now I took a deep breath and sighed.\n\n\"I know. I'm sorry.\"\n\nI moved closer to her and wrapped my arm around her. I still loved her, despite all of this. I still wanted to know, though.\n\n\"It's alright. This is pretty heavy stuff. Just kinda wish you told me a bit sooner.\" _No, bad don't make her feel guilty, idiot, she's telling me now because she's finally ready_ \"Anyways Nick is your dad's old boss.\"\n\n\"Yeah. I met him at my dad's funeral, he told me he was very sorry for my loss, and that he would make sure someone would answer for his death. I told him I wanted in on it.\" She crossed her gentle arms and shapely legs, \"He said I could be the one who pulls the final trigger.\"\n\n\"What... what happened?\" I was a little more than scared. I leaned away from her a bit. Her face went from somber, soft, sad, and pained, to bone-crushing rage in like, half a second. Freaked me out a bit more than I was already.\n\n\"Two weeks later I get a phone call saying there are five guys I should meet. I drove down to Arizona. He led me to a basement underneath a shack on his estate.\"\n\nNick's beautiful, exquisite estate. The estate of a _mob boss_, apparently. We stayed there twice when we visited Arizona. Twice! In a mob-house! And I was none-the-wiser!\n\n\"And in the basement?\" I asked. I kind of wish I didn't ask this, but she was probably going to tell me anyways, so it's not like it mattered.\n\n\"In the basement were five men tied to chairs with bags over their heads. And um, you remember Jennifer?\"\n\n_Oh great another name of someone we talk to from Arizona._\n\n\"Nick's really tall, kind of intimidating, uh, what even was her job? She just kinda, hung around when we visited.\" _Twice!_\n\n\"Well, she took part in capturing all five of them. She was my dad's partner in, uh, hitmanning? Anyways, she was very polite, well, to me. One of the guys called her a bitch and she tipped his chair over so he landed on his face.\"\n\nOkay this time I laughed.\n\n\"But um, she handed me a gun and said the honor is all mine. She asked if I wanted to see their faces. The faces of the men responsible for killing my father.\"\n\n\"Did you?\"\n\n\"No. I knew if I saw their faces, they would haunt me even more than they do now. But I stood there and executed these five men. One by one. And I felt nothing when I did it. Killing them wasn't going to bring my father back. The dead will still be dead. Killing them wasn't going to make me happy. I still had that hole in my heart and I was only making it bigger.\" she took a deep breath again, \"Killing them wasn't some moral high ground. I was committing an atrocity. I was no better than they were. It was a hollow victory, and it wasn't worth it. But I did it. I had to do it. To prove a point. But I don't even know what point I was proving.\"\n\nI told her I still loved her. I told her she was still the light of my life and the greatest woman I ever met. That I won't hold anything against her. That I forgive her for not telling me sooner. I wouldn't want to tell people about all that either. It's a little awkward, though, now I know who killed _my_ father." ]	1
	[WP] You are a wizard who runs a magic pet store. One day a mortal comes in, thinking that its a normal one.	[ "Sweet bliss washed over me as I stood in front of the toilet relieving myself. As I looked forward and saw my reflection in the mirror a thought crossed my mind. (Why did I decide to put a mirror above the toilet?) After a second of pondering this I heard the bell by the store entrance jingle.\n\n“Crap” I said in a low voice and began to force the rest of the pee out of me.\n \nUpon finishing I made myself presentable, washed my hands, and stepped out of the restroom and into the shop.\n \n“Welcome to Edwin’s Extraordinary Pets! How can I help you today sir?” I said as cheerfully as I could.\n\nHe was short man in casual clothing with short salt and pepper hair and a bit of balding on top. As he turned to greet me I could see an odd shifting expression on his face with hints of impressed, excited, amazed and curious. As if he couldn’t make up mind.\n\n“This…place is incredible. How long has it been here?” He asked.\n\n“Thank you for that. It's only been here for a little over a month, so not very long.” I replied.\n\n“And you work here?”\n\nI held my smile and shifted my eyes for a brief moment. (No, I’m just pretending to work here.)\n“I’m the owner of this place actually.” I said out loud and proud.\n\n“Wow, you have one incredible place here sir.” He repeated.\n\n“Well, like I mentioned we’ve only been here for a little over a month. We’re pretty small right now, but we do have plans to grow as we receive additional stock.”\n\n“What is this?” asked the man as he picked up an item on one of the shelves. He held up a faintly glowing flat oval with smoky gray and gold swirls that danced inside it.\n\n(You’ve never seen bug ball before?)\n“That is one of the more popular items in the market right now. A Bug Ball. You simply say the magic words and it bounces around on its own so your pet can chase it.”\n \n“And this?” asked the man as he walked over to another shelf. He pointed to shiny metallic green and gold bird that stood on a plastic branch.\n\n(Something’s off about this guy.) \n“Ah, for bird lovers this can be a useful item. It’s a King Bird Statue. When placed in the house it not only calms any bird type pets one might own, but also stops any sort of chaos or violence. Effectively making them tranquil if you will.”\n\n“Interesting.” Said the man as he began looking at other products.\n\n“If you don’t mind me asking sir, what kind of pets do you own?” I asked.\n\nWithout looking in my direction the man replied, “Oh, I have two German Shepherds who would just love some of the things in here.”\n\n(What?)\n“I beg your pardon?” I said out loud.\n\nThe man turned to me with a smile on his face, “Two German Shepherds.” And returned his attention to shelves.\n\nUpon hearing his reply I felt a sudden chill on the back of neck and a bead of sweat began to run down my forehead. Upon realizing that he was a mortal the sudden instinct and need to force him out of my shop took over. That was also the first time I regretted not finishing my psychology courses and learning memory magic so I could simply wipe his memory. \n\n“Dogs!” I shouted in a cheerful tone. “Yes, I love dogs. Dogs are wonderful creatures sir. It just so happens that I know someone just down the street who specializes in German Shepherds.”\n\n“You mean the Vet?” He asked with a puzzled tone.\n\n(Shit!)\n“No no no, not the vet a…different…store that…well quite frankly has more products than here.” I falsely stated.\n\nAs the man began to stare at me with a confused look on his face the sound of the doorbell jingled along with a voice.\n\n“Edwin!”\n\nI sharply turned toward the voice.\n\n(This day keeps getting better doesn’t it?) \n“Mrs. Bobtack!” I said in a high tone while forcing my smile to stay put. “Welcome! What are doing here? I thought you would be with your husband were on holiday?”\n\n“Oh don’t be daft Edwin.” She said with a smile. “Government officials don’t go on holidays. They just sit at home and do paperwork. Are you busy at the moment?”\n\n(Yes! Go Away Please!)\n“No, not at all what can I do for you?”\n\n“I was looking to find something special for our unicorn. Somethin…”\n\n“Unicorn!?” the man interrupted from around a shelf. “Did she say unicorn!?”\n\n(Shit!) Upon hearing the mortal’s voice I couldn’t help but furrow my brows. But I did want to maintain an air of professionalism in front of Mrs. Bobtack, so I also tried my best to hold my smile. Also, I didn’t want her to know that I had a mortal in my shop. I spent too long trying to open it in the first place and didn't want it shut down after such a short time.\n\n“Oh for your unicorn. Yes. Right this way.” I said as I placed a hand on her upper back and began ushering her in the employees only section.\n\n“What? Edwin what are you…”\n\n“I have special supplies in there for your perusal ma’am and I’ll be with you in just a moment.” I interrupted and closed the door behind me.\n\n“She said unicorn.” Said the man with wide eyes as he pointed to the back door.\n\n(Think! Think!)\n“No no no, it was an inside joke, you know? Like how some people call their pets a princess.” I forced a chuckle. “Oh I see you have something. Let me ring you up real quick.”\n\nThe man followed me to the cash register where he handed me a green velvet dog leash.\n\n“What does this one do?” he asked with excitement.\n\n“Hm? Oh this is just a velvet…dog leash.” I lied.\n\n“Oh?” He said with a hint of disappointment.\n\nAfter purchasing the leash I quickly ushered him out of the store with a friendly, “Come back anytime!” All the while I thought to myself (I’m an idiot.)\n", "\"I want to return this parrot.\" The short mustachioed man said, a scowl covering his face. I paused from feeding some wishing fish and turned to look at him. My eyes narrowed. No aura. Not unusual but hiding it would be no use in here. The animals could sense someone of the arcane immediately. Maybe a greater ghish disguised, I thought. They were known to spirit away small animals and children, perhaps this one had just decided to be a bit more.. 'practical' in its acquisition for ritual materials.\n\n\"I'm afraid we offer a no returns policy\" I said crisply, placing both my hands on the counter top between us. The man glared at me hotly. \"But it's dead!\" He screeched. Not a gish then I thought, pursing my lips. They would never speak above a bare whisper, even their most bold. I craned my neck and looked over the cage he held in his outstretched hand. No carved runes, no inlaid minerals. No Parsic webbing. I frowned. \"You bought this parrot here? From me?\" The man frowned back at me, his eyes half shut. \"No, it was some scrimp of a girl. She said this parrot would be a good companion for a lonely man.\" \n\nI wore a simpering smile and spread my hands. \"No such girl works here, sir, it's just me. Also, I would not sell you a dead bird. It must be sleeping.\" The mans lips grew into a thin white line. \"Sleeping?\" he said shrilly. \"I bought this Norwegian blue not half an hour ago, and it is ded. It has fallen off the perch.\" I eyed him and slowly looked into the cage. Sure enough. A parrot with blue plumage. \"We don't sell 'Norwegian blues'. In fact, there is no such thing as a Norwegian blue. Parrots do not live in Norway. Not undomesticated at least and CERTAINLY not the kind of parrot I would sell.\" I said, matter-of-factly. The man leaned close and jiggled the plain white cage at me. \"It is deceased!\" he shrilled. \"It has shrugged off this mortal coil!\" \"It has met it's maker\" \"This parrot is ded!\" The man finished by shaking the cage at me again. It seemed too well practiced.\n\nI sighed. \"What, exactly, do you want me to about it?\" This fellow obviously was no mage. How he'd passed through the veil and into my shop I had no idea but I was sick of him already. Sick of his practiced speech, sick of his shrill voice. \"I want me money back\" He said, dropping the cage with a clatter and holding out a hand palm up. \"Dole it up, lad, I won't be shammed on a ded bird.\" I scoffed at him and turned back to enter behind the counter. He grabbed my shoulder.\n\nHe grabbed.\nMy.\nShoulder.\n\n\"No one touches me!\" I hissed, whirling on him and raising my hands. The room grew dark and small. The thin reedy little bastard just stared at me, his mouth wide open and eyes screwed shut. \"Give me my money!\" he screamed above the wind that roared through the shop. Cages rattled and the true song birds of Lethsail sang terrible notes. The beard dragons bellowed in their cages on the floor, puffing balls of small blue flame into the air.\n\nHe continued to hold his hand out. Trembling, slightly I breathed out long and slow. The whirling maelstrom died down. \"No\" I said curtly as I made a dismissive gesture. The man vanished in a puff of smoke along with his cage. A young girl peeked out of the back room and grinned at me. \"You know he'll be back when he remembers he bought a bird from a small shop and it's dead. I grimaced. \"You.. sold him the parrot?\" She smiled at me, it was like the sun had come out from behind the clouds. I gulped. \"Yes.\" She said, still grinning. It seemed the quickest way to get rid of him. I guess the facsimile I sold him wasn't very well made, though.\"\n\n\"Honestly, Martha\" I said, the corners of my mouth twisting wry. \"Why do you insist in humoring everyone that comes through. Did you open the wards for him?\" Martha opened her mouth in a mockery of shock. \"Why would I do that?!\" I sighed and ran my hand through my thinning hair. \"I swear..\" I said trailing off. \"You let one mortal into your life and they bring more. You're a plague, girl. No mistaking it.\" Martha smiled at me again. \"You're the one who offered to teach me! I can't practice on you, how else will I learn proper magic?\" I smiled back at her. Girl was too clever by half. \"Very well, some test subjects should be fine. Just warn me next time.\"\n", "\"Welcome,\" I droned on, not giving the door so much as a glance as the bell rang. \"Yell if you need help.\"\n\nNormally, I might have been a little more attentive, but the tincture was on its eighth hour of brewing and I really, really didn't want to have to start over. Nose-down in the steam so I could keep a good eye on its color, I just listened.\n\nThe customer's footsteps were slow on the threadbare, worn-down carpet as he walked further into the showroom.\n\n\"Uh...I'm just looking for a cat. I think,\" he said.\n\nI chuckled to myself. \"A traditionalist, eh? Back wall, right side. Ones on the right are sassy, ones on the left are dismissive. Take your pick.\" I'd really tried to breed a feline familiar that didn't fall into those categories - oh, I'd have made a killing - but after a good two hundred years I finally gave up.\n\n\"...What?\" he said. \n\nI frowned, standing straight. \"Over there,\" I sighed, pointing.\n\n\"Oh. Thanks.\"\n\nI swallowed my irritation as I turned back to my work. How hard were simple instructions? It was a pet shop - follow the clearly labeled placards on the cages, and it'd be hard to mess it up.\n\n\"Woah...I've never seen birds like this before,\" the customer said. Chatty again? Just my luck. Most wizards were a little more self-contained than that, but every now and then I'd find someone who needed more handholding.\n\n\"They're bred in France,\" I said, not looking up this time. \"They'll memorize any song they hear. Sing it back for you.\"\n\n\"Isn't that why I have a phone?\"\n\n\"A-\" I stopped, wrinkling my brow. \"A phone?\"\n\nNo self-respecting witch or wizard would carry a phone. Who would willingly subject themselves to the perils of customer service, when a zephyr charm was free and wouldn't put you on hold for three hours?\n\nNone of them would. I knew that as a simple, hard fact. Which meant-\n\nNo, no, no. I had charms. Illusions. No civilian was just going to wander his way in here. All right, sure, there was that time last month when I couldn't afford to pay the mesmer to renew the enchantments, but-\n\nI whispered under my breath, feeling the air carry my words to the far corners of the store in moments.\n\nNo, the illusions were intact. But then that meant-\n\n\"Wow. It's a dragon.\"\n\n\"No! No, it's not,\" I said, leaping up. Those were expensive, damnit. I could not afford to have them seized as evidence when the investigators pounded on my door demanding to know why I'd broke secrecy. \"Those are- Bearded Dragons. Yes. Extra-extra-big beardies. That's all.\"\n\nThe latch on the counter door was jammed. I bit back a curse, kicking it.\n\n\"They don't look like beardies,\" he said, leaning in close.\n\nDamn, damn, damn! The minature drakes weren't hostile, exactly, but they were more than a little aggressive.\n\n\"Don't touch those!\" I yelped, finally breaking the latch free with a groan of metal stressed too far. \"They- they bite!\"\n\nIt was too late. His fingers were already in the cage, exploring - petting.\n\nThe drake nearest him turned, opening its jaws almost lazily. The flames surged forth moments later.\n\nI winced, ducking, as the flames shot over my head. The building was fire-charmed - Only an idiot of a magistrix would run a shop of magical beasts without something as basic as that - but I wasn't. And neither was my human visitor. I pressed a hand to my face as I crouched against the counter.\n\nBodies were always such a pain. The paperwork just went on and on and on.\n\n\"What the fucking hell was that?\"\n\nI blinked. That was- he was-\n\nHow was he still alive?\n\nSlowly I rose, turning to face him. He stood, a hand held out in front of his face, with the last remnants of fire dying out around him.\n\nHe'd...blocked it? How? He should have been a blackened, crusted crisp of a shell, after taking drakefire to the face.\n\nNow isn't the time to worry about that. Too much damage had been done. I'd...I just needed to report it. And then I'd figure out what to do next.\n\nHe was still staring at the dragon, wide-eyed and trembling. He flinched as my hands landed on his shoulder, but it was too late.\n\nSleep charms were a specialty of mine. It slipped down his throat with the air he breathed, soaking into his skin. I sighed, feeling the perfect curl of the magic. He was a big man - broad and strong-built. He'd be heavy to catch.\n\nMy eyes snapped back open as adrenaline shot through me.\n\nMy spell shredded to pieces, the perfect, interlaced threads of it ripped asunder as they tried to press into him.\n\n\"Hey!\" he said, jumping away. \"I, uh, not that I'm not flattered, but I don't know you.\" His eyes stared at me accusingly. \"I mean- never mind that. What the hell is going on here?\"\n\n\"That's what I'd like to know,\" I muttered, twiddling my fingers. The wind snapped, slamming the door shut and twisting the lock. No one would be getting through, not until I undid the wards.\n\nHe walked straight through an illusion that I knew would stop a human in his tracks - hell, I'd put bets on it stopping an archmage, if they didn't have business here. I valued my privacy well indeed.\n\nHe'd taken a bolt of magic-fire to the face, enough to have crisped even me. And he didn't look so much as suntanned.\n\nAnd my sleep-charm had bounced right off his skin as though he weren't there.\n\nI fixed him with my best, most polite customer-service smile.\n\nAnd then I punched him straight in the jaw, as hard as I could. I punch hard, if you were curious. \n\nHis eyes rolled up in his head as he collapsed, falling in a heap onto the floor.\n\nI reached for my alchemical kit, the tincture that was now overflowing behind the counter completely forgotten.\n\n\"Just what the hell are you?\" I murmured, snapping the clasps open and reaching for a vial. I smiled to myself. Let's find out.\n\n(/r/inorai, critique always welcome!)\n\n---\n\n~~Edit -Kind of...maybe getting a framework together for more parts. Later parts would be on my sub. Still no promises. But def interested.~~\n\n~~Edit again - Yeah this'll probably get a least a few parts. Can't interfere with my main novels, but I'm interested. If you want more, they will be posted on my sub, with the first one in a few hours (half done). Follow the link above :)~~\n\n[Part 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/Inorai/comments/87wrus/menagerie_of_dreams_2/)" ]	3
	[WP] You are the God of a new cult. The Religion your followers follow is based on what you had done for humanity in the past. Problem is, you never did those things. They're on your to-do list.	[ " Cults are constituted through the will of the gods. Morals, expectations, beliefs, traditions, and social structures live to represent those who brought meaning and flare to an otherwise bleak, hopeless existence. To this decree, murderers, masochists, and maidens are one and the same. We all share a common goal, despite our conflicted views on reality. And it's that same goal that binds us together in spirit. \n\nIt's through this understanding that I am no god. I am a simply a child who disbands and abandons, the contract that curses society to an eternity of endless wander. My seclusiveness has done a great toll on my people. I wake alone, I live alone, and I rest alone. My mind and heart are orphanages, alienated from the knowledge of others.\n\nPain and suffering are life's greatest instructors, for they swear no sympathy, no compassion, no nepotism, nothing. They symbolize the efforts of comprehending the unknown, deprived of fantasy. Embracing the darkness leaves two choices: you can see the truth within the black and devote yourself to reveal it, or you see the truth within the black and devote yourself to its very exile. I am a god of malnourished and rotten thought, that is true. However, beyond this accursed facade lies a fragile secret. \n\nI'm afraid.\n\nGod or mortal, everything lives in desire for stability and order. When that balance is corrupted, we resist or relocate. There is no in-between. But I'm sure you know which one of those you expect of me. I mean, I am a god. And had I been anyone else, I would've agreed with you. I wish to do good. I wish to stand and protect the faith of my children, young or old. Yet, ask anyone who has led and they will tell you it's not meant for everyone. Surely not for me.\n\nSo to my brothers and sisters alike, allow me to properly apologize. You've lived your lives in the shadows of your predecessors, knowing nothing but to serve. You have questions, and I have no answers. You have demands, and I have no power. I am not fit to lead you all. I am a disgrace, and it's about time that I make amends. \n\nWe will overcome our demons together. And that is a promise." ]	1
	[WP] The Zombie apocalypse has come right as the alien invasion started and its a....wait, are those giant robots?	[ "The odds were never in our favour. After years of being warned by our top scientists that doomsday was upon us, we wasted time asking questions like why and how, but never asked when. Had we been more prepared, perhaps we could have avoided the mess we are in.\n\nBut now, we have to deal with them.\n\nIt just looked like a bad case of the flu. It spread, first in Los Angeles, then to Japan, and soon an epidemic spread across all continents on Earth. If caught quickly, a cure could be administered. The catch is, if you took the medicine and you didn't have the disease, you died anyway. Its effects were too harsh. \n\nWe called it Mortuum. Mort for short. It started off as a cough, which developed into a fever. By the time you were bed ridden you had 24 hours to be administered the lifesaving drug. If not, you died. Well, technically.\n\nYour body starts to decompose as expected, but your neurotransmitters still fire and you need to feed on the only thing that your body can process, flesh. Now they are everywhere. We call them Mords. And we survivors are the only ones left. \n\nExcept for the aliens. \n\nAs if it couldn't get any worse, while we survivors are trying to grapple with the disease and the Mords, beings from dark space noticed Earth's peril. We thought they came to rescue us, but when they realized that they were immune to Mortuum, they attacked. \n\nOur backs are against the wall here. If anyone is hearing this transmission, know that there are survivors here. There has to be someone, anyone out there. \n\nWait… do you hear that? Could it be? Our saviour!!!! \n\n“KABOOOOOM CAPTAIN PLASMO AND HIS ROBOT ARMY ARE HERE TO SAVE THE DAY!” Charlie runs through his older brothers toys. “Robots beat zombies and aliens every time!”\n\n“Mom!” I cry. “Charlie interrupted my game again!!” " ]	1
	[WP] The punishment must fit the crime but the reverse is also true - if somebody serving a prison sentence is later found to be innocent they have the right to commit one or more criminal acts up to the value of the time they have already served.	[ "The system was flawed. A single loophole that made the justice system scratch its scalp in confusion.\n\nIt was quite an obvious one too.\n\nMy father was falsely convicted of genocide, and so the penalty was death.\n\nHow do you measure that?\n\nHow do you measure the worth of a life, of how much it costs to avulse the soul from its body, all in a manner that leaves a sour taste in ones mouth.\n\nIt is easy to measure time. Time served is equal to the crime in question. But I wonder, when justice liberty put my fathers lifeless corpse onto her scales, as his empty eyes scanned the court and jury, how much did it weigh?\n\nDid it matter? He was dead, even if he wanted to, there was no way to commit the crime he had been accused of.\n\nSo I did it for him. I murdered exactly twenty-one people in his name, even signed it as if it were his work.\n\nIt was a Magnus Opus perpetrated by his spirit, and I was his paintbrush. A scarlet painting with brilliant brush strokes.\n\nBut now what about those that I killed? Where was their justice?\n\nIf I wanted to fix that which my father was owned, I needed to show fairplay. Needed to commit acts that would balance out the equilibrium set out by our justice liberty.\n\nAnd I did just that, not just embodying the credit that was so dearly owed to my father, but also to those that sacrificed to pay off the governments death to him.\n\nAnd I would continue, continue on till the end of my days, paying off the debts of all those who sacrificed themselves to honour our glorious justice system.\n\n**\n\n/r/KikiWrites ", "Thirty years. I was locked away with rapists, arsonists, and murders. Thirty years, for a crime I didn’t commit. They said I raped and strangled her, tossed her body in a creek behind my house. I was eighteen. My father didn’t visit me once in prison, couldn’t look me in the eyes after what he thought I done. \n\nThirty years.\n\nMy pops is dead now. Cancer got him. I didn’t make the funeral.\n\nNow I’m out thanks to DNA evidence. I always wondered what I’d do if I ever got released. I never expected to be solicited by the mob. They pay big bucks for legal hits. Basically chat up every man who does twenty-five plus years and gets exonerated. It’s not legal, what they do. But even if you’re caught, you still get that one freebee. No arrests. No questioning. Nothing the cops can offer you to give up your employer. \n\nThey feds know about this though and always make you aware of it. They sit you down in a room with the one-way glass just before you get your first breath of freedom. They try to match whatever the mob will offer, courtesy of Uncle Sam, to turn in anyone who offers you a contract. Doesn’t usually work though, as most people don’t want to experience their newfound freedom looking over their shoulder at the target on their back. \n\nThree weeks out and I got a knock on my door. Joey Bandoni. Of international fame for shooting two Polacks in the back on the head on a crowded subway. He got off when all of the witnesses (all thirty of them) decided they didn’t see anything. \n\n“Michael Benedetti.”\n\n“Yes? Who’s asking?” I said, trying to play dumb.\n\n“Benedetti. Strong Italian name. You mind if I come in?” He pushed open the door and sat himself on my couch, leaving a muddy trail of melted snow on my hardwood floor. \n\n“By all means.”\n\n“Thirty years is a long time.”\n\n“Sure is,” I said, closing the door behind me.\n\n“That’s the kind of time that really makes a man think. The kind of time that really makes a man angry.”\n“It sure can. What can I help you with?”\n\nHe flashed a big toothy grin. He pulled out a pack of smokes, threw one in his lip and lit up. He took a big drag, finishing about a quarter of the cigarette before blowing out a big plume of smoke into my living room.\n\n“Do you mind if I smoke? Of course you don’t. What do you do for a living Mr. Benedetti?”\n\n“Taking some personal time.”\n\n“No one will hire you, will they? Yeah turns out, even if your exonerated, no employer will touch you with a ten-foot pole if they think there could be a chance you raped a murdered a twelve-year-old girl.” He took another big pull from his cigarette and leaned forward. “Well I don’t think you did it. Hell, if the state of New York says you’re an innocent man… that’s good enough for me.”\n\n“Cut to the chase.”\n\n“Straight to the point. I like you Mr. Benedetti. The thing is, I’m concerned for your well being. No job. No savings. You’re stuck in this shithole of a halfway house until you can get back on your feet. If you can ever get back on your feet. See, I like helping out my fellow Italian brethren. Help give you get a fresh start.”\n\n“Who’s the mark?”\n\nHe leaned back, his smile ear to ear. “I don’t know what you’re talking about Mr. Benedetti. I’m just an altruist. I hate seeing my fellow man suffer, especially when he’s done no wrong in this world.”\n\n“Cut the bullshit.”\n\n“Two hundred large. That’s a new life. A fresh start. Think about it Mr. Benedetti.” Joey stood and flicked his cigarette butt onto the floor. He sauntered over to me and gave me a pat on the back. “Think about it. You know where to find me.” He opened the door and he was gone.\n\nI rushed to the bathroom to stare at my lunch in the bottom of the toilet. I had lived amongst killers. Ate lunch with them. Laughed with him. Shared my hopes and dreams with them. But none of them compared to Joey Bandoni. If half of the things that I’d heard about him were true, then I had just been face to face with the devil himself. \n\nI could barely sleep that night. Too cold. Then too hot. I woke up to a pounding at my door and an even bigger pounding headache. \n\n“Coming,” I called, as I struggled to put on shorts. The pounding continued.\n“I said I was coming you fucking prick…” I opened the door to a man and woman in suits, both flashing badges. \n\n“We’d like a word with you Mr. Benedetti,” said the woman. “Do you mind if we come in?”\n\n“Do I have a choice?”\n\n“Of course you do,” said the man, who walked right passed me into my living room. The woman quickly followed.\n\n“I’m Federal Agent Mary Donahue and this is my partner Agent Cooper Smith,” she gestured to Agent Smith who was peering into my closet.\n\n“Don’t worry, Neo. I’m not here to kill ya,” he snickered. He looked back over his shoulder when I didn’t laugh. “Oh that’s right. They probably didn’t let you watch too many movies in Sing Sing.”\n\n“Mr. Benedetti,” said Agent Donahue, “Are you familiar with a Joey Bandoni?”\n\n“I’ve heard of him. His name was brought up quite a bit in Sing Sing.”\n\n“But you’ve never personally met him?”\n\n“Not that I’m aware of.”\n\n“You’re not lying to us? Are you Mr. Benedetti?” asked Agent Smith.\n\n“We know he was here yesterday,” said Agent Donahue. \n\n“Was that him? Yeah… some strange guy stopped by my apartment yesterday. Told him he had the wrong address.”\n\n“Did you two talk about anything?” she asked.\n\n“Nope. Told him he had the wrong address and he was on his way.”\n\n“Did he offer you any money, Mr. Benedetti?” asked Smith.\n\n“Money? What for?”\n\n“Don’t play dumb with us. We know he came to offer you a contract. Who’s the mark?” blurted Agent Smith. \n\n“I already told you. The guy had the wrong address. Look, I just spent thirty years cooped up without an ounce of privacy. I cherish my alone time. Are we done here?”\n\n“Yeah. For now,” Agent Smith stormed out of my apartment into the hallway.\n\n“Don’t mind him. He likes the good cop bad cop routine. He loves trying to be the hard-ass bad cop. Here’s my card.” She pulled out a crisp white business card with dark blue print on it. “I know you’ve been wronged. You lost your life in there and you can’t get those years back. You’re lost. I know what he’s offering you might seem like a way out, like a way to build up your life again. But it won’t get those years back. It won’t bring you closure. You’ll still be lost. All you’d be doing is stripping the life away from another poor soul, and unlike you they wouldn’t have a chance to rebuild a life with family or friends. If you need anything, you can call me.”\n\n“Thank you, I appreciate it. If I, uh, hear anything I’ll let you know.”\n\n“Doesn’t even have to be about Joey. I know it’s tough trying to transition back into the real world. My dad did eight years when I was younger. It’s the reason I became a cop. But we got through it together as a family. He actually runs a therapy group for people recently released. If you ever feel like you want to join, just give me a call. Have a good day, Mr. Benedetti.”\n\nAnd she was gone.\n\nThat night I sat myself down at the kitchen table for dinner. A grilled cheese sandwich and a can of tomato soup, the feast of kings. Then the radiator went out. It was going to be a cold night.\n\nThat night I tossed and turned in the freezing cold, couldn’t sleep.\n\n“Fuck this shit,” I muttered to myself. I turned on the night lamp and swung my legs off the side of the bed. I picked up Agent Donahue’s business card and stared at it. I stared at her name. I stared at the ten-digit number. “Fuck.”\n\nThe next morning, I laced up my boots and threw on a heavy jacket before making my way out the door. I needed to clear my head, and walking the streets as a free man seemed to help. I wandered the streets for hours with my head down, freezing my ass off. I didn’t know where I was going, I was just going. Then all of the sudden I stopped. I pulled out Mary’s business card from my coat pocket and thumbed at the number. I looked up to see where I was, only to find myself standing in front of Bandoni’s Italian Restaurant. \n\nHow the fuck did I get here…?* I thought.\n\nI looked back down at the card in my hand. I shook the card a few times, then flicked it to the curb. I unzipped my jacked and walked into the restaurant. \n", "######[](#dropcap)\n\nAll I can remember is that mean man's smile and the way he looked at me all funny, like there was some joke he didn't wanna tell me. \n\nMama told me when I was younger that the world was a mean place, and that I had to keep to myself. And I always listened to mama. So I was a good boy. I went to work, did everything Tom asked me to do like fill up bags and move things in the store here or there (though I never could understand why), and I went back home immediately after. \n\nThey said I had to be locked up because I killed a little girl. But I never even saw her before. I told the man that, just like my mama told me. The man all dressed up in black like he was batman. And I knew batman always saved people, so why didn't he save me? I didn't know her, I told him. He just looked at me, his eyes all angry, and said I had to be locked up 30 years. \n\nI didn't really understand why that mean man with the yellow hair kept saying it was me. He said I drove a car over her and then ran away. Mama told me to own up to my mistakes, so I would never run away. I told them that. Yeah, I told them that real good, standing up and shouting it to his face. But the mean man just pointed at me all rude-like with his finger. You don't point at people like that. But he did. \n\nThen he said those words several times. \n\n\"Let the punishment fit the crime.\" \n\nI still remember them cuz he said them three times. And after that, they locked me up. \n\nIt's okay though, because I made a couple friends in this place. A guy named Bill. He was in here for doing some bad, bad things, but he always treated me nice. Told me stories about all the things he done, like picking pockets and getting into fights with people. Mama probably wouldn't have liked him, but that's okay. \n\nHe told me that I had to get avenged. A new word I learned. It's what batman did to the bad people. Bill said I could become batman if I did it, and other people agreed. I was worried at first, but he told me all those words about law stuff, and he said I wouldn't get in trouble. Okay, I told him. As long as I didn't get in trouble. Mama wouldn't like that. She always spanked me when I did bad things. \n\nIt was real easy to find the mean man after I got out. A lady at the library helped me, all nice-like, and told me to use some adders book. I didn't know how at first, but then I saw a picture of him, smiling, and pointed at him, and she found him right away. \n\nThat night, I went to his house. I remembered everything Bill taught me. Ring the doorbell. Ask him questions. Then he would be going to jail all nice and easy. \n\nHe opened the door quick, but then he tried to close it. I stopped him. Nobody likes rude people, I told him, and I opened the door real easy. He looked kinda scared, which made me feel pretty good. Mama told me before that I was a big boy, and that scared people sometimes. \n\nI got real happy when I brought out the knife and he started talking like Bill said he would. He started crying too, and that made me laugh. He said he killed the girl, and that made me angry. You had to take reponsbility for your actions. I told him that, and he said he would go to the police. That made me feel better a little bit. \n\nBut then I thought about how long I hadn't seen mama for. And how the lady at the library said my mama had left because my name wasn't in the adders book. It was all this man's fault. If he hadn't made me leave for so long, mama wouldn't have gotten sick of waiting and left. \n\nAnd then I remembered what he said and the mean look he had on his face when he said it. \n\n\"Let the punishment fit the crime,\" I told him. Then I said it again. \n\n&nbsp; \n\nIt went in real easy like jello. He didn't look so happy anymore with his mouth open and blood coming out. I put it in a couple more times. Just like jello. I was happy he didn't look so mean anymore. \n\nI'm going to find my mama, I told him, but he didn't say nothing. That's okay. Mama said people don't talk when they're sleeping, and I just helped him take a nice, long nap. \n\n***** \nIt's my first time writing a story like this, so any critique/feedback is greatly appreciated! \n\nr/AlannaWu" ]	3
	[WP] Soulmates' hearts beat in unison. As a result of this, society has developed an odd handshake to compare pulses. Today you had to shake your least favorite classmate's hand out of politeness. Both of you are shocked to find that your hearts are beating in tandem.	[ "“Now don’t worry if you don’t find someone who matches your pulse perfectly; it is highly unlikely to find your soulmate during your teenage years, some don’t even find theirs within their lifetime.” Mrs. White, our old, frail Health teacher, crooned on.\n\nNo one was paying much attention to her. It was Friday afternoon and Amber was throwing a party later that evening—her parents were out of town meaning she had their mansion all to herself. Besides, everyone already knew how to do the Handshake. Our older siblings taught us how to do it and those who didn’t have older siblings learned from their peers. More importantly, our generation didn’t believe in soulmates anymore. Divorce rates of soulmates weren’t any different than the divorce rates of non-soulmates. My then-girlfriend and I were one of those non-soulmates couples. Our hearts didn’t beat to the same rhythm but back then we truly believed we were perfect for each other, and in many ways we were.\n\n“Thomas, Diana, why don’t you two come up here and help me demonstrate the handshake?” said Mrs. White.\n\nGreat. Out of all the myopic students in the front row she had to pick the both of us. It had to be the weirdo who ratted me out back in Freshman year for copying someone else’s homework. I looked at the clock and there were still fifteen minutes left. Fuck, there was no getting out of this.\n\nI rose from my desk as slowly as I could hoping time would somehow speed up but before I knew it I was in front of the class—and so was Diana—with Mrs. White holding both her hands together.\n\n“Okay, now face each other and position your hands like this. Great. You should be able to feel your pulse. Now take the other person’s hands and don’t forget to feel their pulse while keeping hold of your own.”\n\nReluctantly, I extended my hands and shook hands with Diana. Might as well get this over with. I fumbled my hands trying to look for her pulse but I couldn’t find it. I started getting irritated; I had never had a problem doing this before and the longer it took the more flustered I became. Perhaps my creeping suspicion that Diana was secretly a vampire were being proven true but when I looked at Diana she was having the same problem. Our eyes met and reality dawned on the both of us—our hearts were beating as one!\n\nI felt my pulse—both our pulses—quicken. She let go of my hands. I surveyed the room. Everyone was busy doing something else and thankfully no one had noticed what had happened.\n\n“How was it? Did you feel each other’s pulse?”\n\n“Yes, Mrs. White, our pulses couldn’t be any more different.” lied Diana.\n\nShe sounded so convincing she had me doubting my own memory of the few seconds that had just passed. But that wasn’t a dream—or rather, nightmare. I was certain I had just found my soulmate.\n\n---\n\nThis is actually so much longer. I just didn't want to overwhelm anyone with a huge wall of text. Heh\n", "Well, I was bound to shake her hand eventually. I knew almost nothing about her, I couldn't care less about them. I would even care more if the class bully got killed, after all, they're at least a good source of drama.\n\n\"Hey, I'm Blake.\" I unenthusiastically said. I stuck out my hand, uncaring.\n\n\"Mia, nice to formally meet you.\" She replied. She reached out, hesitating for a moment to shake my hand. Nothing wrong with that, she followed through with shaking it. Our pulses were in tandem. This girl I couldn't care less about is my soul mate? I honestly couldn't believe it, but I kept holding on for a bit longer. Both of our hearts were racing a bit from the shock, yet still in tandem.\n\n\"Yo dude,\" Alex said. \"I don't mean to interrupt your silent conversation but... looks like you just crapped your pants dude. You good man?\"\n\n\"Well uh...\" Mia replied first, after about a solid minute. \"I guess you would be shocked if you found your soulmate.\"\n\n\"Wah?! Seriously? Nice dude!\" Alex said, he gave me a hard pat on the back. \"Oh wait, I guess I interrupted a couple gazing longingly at each other huh.\"\n\n\"No, not really.\" I replied as I let go. \"Pretty much just shock dude.\"\n\n\"Don't you two feel anything for each other?\" Alex asked near vacantly.\n\n\"No, we haven't really spoken to be honest.\" Mia replied. \n\n\"Kinda gotta agree with her,\" I replied.\n\n\"I'll fix that. Just leave it to me.\" Alex grinned. \"I'll plan the date and stuff for you, I got this.\"\n\nAlex walked away before we could stop him. We both didn't say anything to each other for the rest of the day. Though, we caught each other glancing at each other from time to time. It continued on until the weekend, also known as the day of our forced date. Alex wouldn't stop spamming my phone with texts, so I went. Mia and I were awkwardly now sitting in a restaurant because of him.\n\n\"So uh...\" Mia said, wanting to start conversation. \"Erm... how was the math test?\"\n\n\"Wasn't so bad...\" I replied. \"Did you hear Dan got suspended again?\"\n\n\"Oh right, didn't he punch someone in the face?\" Mia responded. \"Heard the guy who got punched just stood up, and grabbed Dan's fist before he made a second punch.\"\n\n\"Yeah, and then the teacher came and suspended him. Speaking of well, physical activity, what's your favorite sports team?\" I asked.\n\n\"I'm not really a fan of actual sports, sorry. I like e-sports though.\" Mia replied. \"My favorite team would be the NYXL if we count e-sports.\"\n\n\"Well, my favorite team would be the New York Mets.\" I replied. \"Do you watch 'em sometimes?\"\n\n\"Oh, there's this game I'm gonna watch on the 2nd. Cause y'know, e-sports reasons. Wanna go to my house and watch it with me? You can teach me about baseball and stuff.\" Mia asked.\n\n\"Sure, why not.\" I replied. Without me realizing it, we had planned a second date. She would easily go from my least favorite, to my most favorite.\n\n***\n\nlol I did this when I'm like, half brain dead (tired lol). I was watching a stream while making this. I had a sort of beta plan of their hearts being in tandem by coincidence, the guy learning but the girl not but whatever." ]	2
	[WP] You have the Eye of Agamotto, allowing you to manipulate time. Instead of trying to rule the world or become a superhero, you use it to restore the old vehicles on your used car lot.	[ "Time is merciless. Regardless of whether one may like it or not, it will continue to move forward in a consistent pace, unwilling to wait for anyone. No man has been able to bend it to their will so far, as much as they desire to do so. That is, until I obtained the eye.\n\nThe Eye of Agamotto. Ever since I went near the stone altar, my left eye has never been the same. The entire eyeball has became reddish in color, as if it has been replaced with a red marble. Strangely, I could still see with it.\n\nLet’s do this, I thought, as I removed the eye patch on my left eye. I stared at the decrepit cars before me, as I did my best to focus my attention on my left eye. \n\n3…2…1.\n\nThe cars magically turned back into their original state, shining and brimming with energy. Each of them seemed to be calling out for me, to ride them. I grinned, as I put my eye patch back on. Soon, I will put on them sale, and make myself a fortune.\n\nIt was at this moment when I saw a small figure standing next to me. I turned my head and saw a boy on my left, staring at me. He had blueish hair, eyes and clothes, making his white skin stand out the most. He had a blue eye patch on his left eye, just like me. He seemed to be obsessed with the color blue.\n\n“Who are you?” I questioned. I had half a mind to turn back time so I could cover my tracks.\n\n“You’ll understand once I show you this.” He started taking his eye patch off. It did not take long before I was responded with a regular looking eye, much to my disappointment. \n\n“Seal,” the boy muttered. Suddenly, I felt my left eye aching. The pain throbbed loudly and repeatedly. I felt liquid flowing out of it, which I feared was blood. It did not take long before I fell on my knees.\n\n“What have you done!?” I yelled, as I took off my eye patch,revealing colorless liquid flowing onto the ground. Tears was what they seemed to be.\n\n“Nothing much, just sealed your left eye’s power.” I looked up and saw the boy, now grinning, with his left eye now revealing a reddish iris.\n", "\"I'm home!\" Winston yelled up the stairs to his wife, Linda.\n\n\"You sure are home late,\" Linda replied as she began walking down the steps.\n\n\"The traffic was unbearable.\"\n\n\"I thought you were taking a different route home ever since Agamotto Car Repair opened up.\"\n\n\"I was, but every road is covered in cars now. Everybody who used to walk or ride public transit has gone an bought the cheapest hunk of junk they can and gotten it repaired for next to nothin.\"\n\n\"I noticed the smog has gotten pretty bad too. I took Jamie out to the park today. We had to come back almost immediately cause he started coughing like crazy.\"\n\nThe two sat down at the kitchen table and Linda passed Winston a bottle of water.\n\n\"I'm gonna leave early tomorrow so I'm not late again.\"\n\n\"Ok, I'll get up early too and make you breakfast.\"\n\n\"That sounds great.\"\n\nThe next day\n\nThirty minutes after Winston left for work the next day, Linda turned on the tv.\n\nAn overpass has collapsed on I-40. Due to the traffic below the overpass, a number of cars have been crushed. We will update you with the number of injured shortly.\n\n\"Oh god!\" gasped Linda as she lowered her coffee mug. \"I hope Winston took his old route to work.\"\n\nEdited formatting", "Legends say that it was created by beings beyond our world. Beings that can handle time as we can handle a pencil, creating lines of time. A war broke out much before the raise of humanity, between different fractions, a civil war, you might say.\n By some circumstances, unknown and unreachable to the human mind, it ended up in our plane of existence, it's name echoing through the pages of mythology and history.\nOut of some primal fear, or maybe some unknown knowledge that has been passed through the human generations, a lot of cultures avoided the idea of using this artifact.\n Egyptians buried it deep in one of their huge tombs, while praising it as a part of their own gods' symbol. Vikings would incorporate it's story in their own way. Mongols would base the story of their nomadic lifestyle as a way to find this artifact. Greeks for some reason would snicker at it's name, an inside joke beyond our language barrier, but they too used it as a symbol to protect them from the evil. The lost city of Atlantis was actually the closest of them all, seeing how the eyes was actually the reason for their own civil war, which resulted in total destruction of their home. \n\nHow do I know this? Simple, actually. \n\nI was the one responsible for it's destruction. I was the point zero of everything that happened that fateful day. I, as the holder of the eye, was the sole survivor of my mistake. And believe me when I say I'm paying for this. \nI was closed in a tomb by the Egyptians. I was granted the position of chief by the Vikings. I was hunted down by Mongols. Greek historians and scholars would ask me questions and answers to their own. \nAfter the Greek civil wars, I decided that this was too dangerous of a place to stay, and so I ended up going West, my status unknown, settling down to the place that was later know as the roots of Roman empire. \n\nForever unknown, I glided my way through history, always changing identities and staying immortal with the eye. I ended up in American South, where the law is more lax about homeschooling, and so I was able to fake my way through the decades. Now I'm just managing a used car lot. Call me nostalgic, but it's an interesting take of my old home's technology. Who knows, maybe I will try to go back sometime. Find a way to correct my mistake. But the thing is, history can and probably will be jeopardised at this point. Who knows what could happen. \n\nThat's why I'm not gonna let you have it. \nI saw the concealed gun. I would say that the government has finally caught up with me, but the way you carry yourself and your movements suggest that you are probably a part of a gang. Or is it a cult? Doesn't matter.\n\nI could kill you and make you disappear from the face of the Earth, without anyone being the wiser, but I can see in your eyes you are not a bad person. Yeah, you did made some stupid choices, but I'm sure that you didn't want it to come to this point. \n\nSo, what do you say? Care to spend rest of the infinity with me? ", "The young Asian man appeared reticent while over looking the perfect lemon yellow skin of the convertible with white leather interior.\n\n\"It's a real looker at a deep discount, sir. We even offer a deeper cut for our veterans just returned to make sure they're able to serve their families as hardy as they did our nation.\"\n\nThe eyes saddened for a second as the man nodded stiffly. \"Miyagi-san is interested, how much for pickup truck, too?\"", "\"Ladies and gentlemen my name is Tony Talito and I am the wizard of good saving\" The middle-aged car salesman roared, standing atop a purple jeep with arms outstretched, \"I'll buy any junker you can sell me like it was brand new.\"\n\nThis claim was true. Unlike many in his business, Tony Talito was a man who kept his word. Holding his high school sweetheart at the 10th-grade dance she asked him to never leave, and Tony promised. When the local animal shelter came around asking if he could provide donations, Tony promised. When a customer asked if the warranty covered dents like his ad promised, Tony promised. And Tony kept every single one of those agreements. That customer later dinked a shopping cart and didn't pay a dime. Tony stayed with his wife for 27 years keeping his promise, until she left the arms of everyone hand in hand with cancer. And Tony still pays his monthly donation to the animal shelter, receiving photographed updates on all the pets inside. \n\n\"You're telling me you'll buy this damn thing for twelve thousand?\" A thin man asked from behind the steering wheel of a near totaled Corolla. \n\n\"Absolutely, sir, roll right on in and meet me at the desk,\" Tony smiled from atop the display car.\n\nA wholesome grin grew across the young man's face. He drove the clunker into the old lot. It was like the automotive version of Prometheus, tortured and beaten down regardless of the good it had done. The wheels had been worn down hard, the doors beaten and concave. Tony climbed off the car and walked began walking towards his dealership.\n\n---\n\nIt was a rainy night when Tony first bought the necklace. It was a birthday present for Leena, his wife. They both hated the upscale jewelry stores and preferred local pawn shops with more interesting and cheaper pieces. It gives the stuff character, Leena would say. That's what they said to each other anyway. In reality, Tony went out of habit as his family never really achieved such luxury. Leena simply held on to any facet of her life that made her feel like a kid again, the underdog, not the wife of an aging car salesman. But the pair loved each other regardless and every anniversary or birthday was another trip to Tommys Town Pawnshop. Tony smiled as he walked through the barred doors, remembering the brass knuckles she had gotten him two years from that day. Immediately a new ornament caught his eye. A thick golden chain attached to an oriental metallic eye. Behind the metal was a soft green glow. The necklace seemed to move on its own accord, looking around the room and then at him. Tony bought it after that. The price was a bit much for the store but it was worth the cost, she deserved it. He quickly bagged the bejeweled neck piece and stored it in the glove compartment. In seconds he was on the road, knowing if he made good time on the road he could make it to the hospital at the end of Leena's treatment.\n\n---\n\nThe man walked happily up to the front counter after parking and shook Tony's hand. \n\n\"I'd like to sell my car,\" He said puffing his chest a bit, making it clear that he had never really done this before.\n\n\"Sounds good, boss\" Tony smiled back, \"I'm just gonna need you to head on back with me and do a bit of paperwork, coffee?\"\n\n\"Yeah sure,\" The man said, following Tony to the set of chairs lined against the window. \n\nTony manned the coffee machine and paper cups as the man, David, explained the shape of his car. He told him about first getting it as a teen and never letting it go. He felt bad but knew it was time for it to go. He was particularly worried, David said, about the car breaking down and causing a wreck. The two continued on back to Tony's office. It was a humble room with a simple wooden desk adorned with pictures of Leena and knick-knacks from the pawn shop. David asked how exactly Tony was making the profit off his newest marketing campaign, the \"Magical Mystery Money-Down Marathon\". Tony laughed.\n\n\"It's all magic,\" He shrugged.\n\nTony technically didn't lie. The wizard robes were just a cheap cover for the set up he ran at night. The centerpiece of the wizard getup was his \"All-Seeing Eye 'O' Good Prices\" he went on about. A golden necklace that held a shifting green eye to his chest. The exaggerated jewelry in reality was magic, just not a divine source of economic insight. It was instead some sort of mystical clock piece. Similar to the one in those books with the kids and owls and snakes, Tony would think, but much more volatile. Every night at midnight Tony would return to the dark lot. The only lights coming from his office window and the Arbys sign next to his dealership. With some oddly specific hand movements, the eye would open wide, and the car Tony targetted would slowly buff out its bumps and destain its seats. The car would become new again. Then it was a simple matter of reselling the fresh vehicle. Tony laughed at his own joke and continued on pulling forms out of his desk for David to review. \n\n---\n\nThat night on Leena's birthday, Tony learned a bit about what he had purchased. As he hugged their hands fumbled awkwardly for a moment. The eye of the necklace opened for the first time and glowed a brilliant deep green. Leena gasped and dropped the gift. They both stood there in silence for a moment. The world outside seemed to go silent. Tony stared at the glass of water on the table beside them, a sudden urge flooded him. He knocked it over. The water remained stationary within the glass, perfectly still as if it were still upright. The glass itself hung mid-air. Leena stared at the unmoving clock. Then both stared at the necklace on the floor, it's green eye still shifting about as normal. It was in this world that Tony and Leena spent four years. His wife never got worse or better in this state, his own hair seemed like it would never grey. They traveled the world like this. Seeing every city in America that they wanted to. Ticking off each bit of the bucket list as they went. Enjoying long walks across a beach that had been permanently set into a sunset. They viewed a distant horizon, the ocean waves halted at their crown. Tony dodging under a frozen frisbee that sat in the air as if it were on a shelf. It wasn't until the second year that Leena addressed the problem.\n\n\"we're gonna have to stop sometime,\" she said through watery eyes.\n\nTony didn't respond. It was unlike him to take such luxury, but now he couldn't let go. He refused to let go of the time, or lack thereof, with his wife. She said the words again. A fight was on the verge of breaking out. Something they hadn't even thought about since the diagnosis. They made a deal, a promise. And so for the next few months in frozen time, Leena wrote. She wrote fiction and poems and cards and letters. A birthday letter for every last birthday Tony would possibly have. Cards for their anniversaries. Daily reassurances to her husband. She pretended that she was doing it for him. But in reality, the notes and letters were the last things warding the approaching end to her own story. So she kept writing and avoiding that final note. The note for the day it happens. The note that would force her husband to make a promise to himself.\n\n---\n\nAs David signed line after line with his initials he went on about his car. Describing all the ridiculous things he's seen and legally dubious stunts he's pulled. When his eyes went up in remembrance the now familiar smile appeared on his face. But when his eyes drifted back down to the signing a slight anxiety filled him. Tony shifted in his seat, the feeling uncomfortably familiar. He undid his tie and reached for his necklace. He wanted to give the car a second chance, he wanted to give David more time. The storefront glass shattered. \n\n---\n\nRegardless of the four years, they spent it was still the same night. August 15th, Leena's birthday. There was still a Publix brand cake in the fridge, a pile of unopened Hallmark cards in the mailbox, and a sense of dread in the couples chest. They walked through the front door together, nostalgic to when they first bought the one-floor house. The air felt heavier in the living room than ever before. Tony picked up the necklace.\n\n\"Please don't make me do it,\" he said.\n\n\"There are other people in the world, sweetheart\" She put a hand on his chest and leaned into him, \"Please\"\n\nAnd so Tony promised. He fumbled his hands just as he did four years ago. A tear rolled off his face. The dark green eye slammed shut. His tear hit the ground as the glass thudded onto the carpet. \n\n---\n\nDavid fell out of his seat gripping his chest. His mouth was full of blood. Loud explosions filled the dealership. Tony rushed around the desk, grabbing David. A voice rang out from the entrance.\n\n\"The eye\" It barked, \"Get it\"\n\nDavid's eyes were fleeting. The smiling face was contorted in fear. Tony held the man, the boy, up to his own chest. \n\n\"Tell me it'll be ok,\" David stuttered, gripping at Tony's buttondown. \n\n\"It'll be ok\" Tony Promised.\n", "Back in the old days, you could win wars simply by having more troops on the battflefield. Although this may no longer be the case in today's wars, there is another frontier where an army could give you power, perhaps even over cities. I've always known that I'd have the world at my feet, and in the past couple of days, I've discovered my artifact that I'll use to take over the entire world, city by city. \n\nI stumbled upon it almost by accident. Almost. For the last six years or so, I'd been driving to work on the same roads, always taking the same route. I decided to switch it up a little last week. Maybe I ought to do that more often. \n\nThe new route I've been taking comes with a few strange benefits. There's never any traffic there, and the sun makes a noble violet descent into the horizon every time I pass there. That's pretty great. I think I'll miss that. Hands down though, the weirdest thing about my new drive home is the effect it's been having on my odometer, and as I've noticed more recently, my car. \n\nMy old car is as good as new. The same '69 Mustang that my grandfather drove to school is now as clean and fresh as the day it was built. It happened slowly at first, but I've figured out how to nudge things along since last week, and now I have a new car! What I first noticed was varying decreases in my mileage every time I travelled that route, ranging from 20k to 50k drops every time. I did that twice a day. I'm surprised it took me so long to notice.\n\nBy the time Friday came though, the change could no longer go unnoticed. I realized when I went to open the door and the gut-wrenching squeal my car always welcomed me with was eerily absent. I looked around at the car, and noted a few missing scratches, a lot of the rust was gone, and even the paint looked cleaner, though I hadn't cleaned my car recently. As I turned on my car, I saw my odometer was now at half what I remember it being. \n\nI almost didn't go to work.\n\nI realized when I eventually left, that after I passed a particularly bare patch of land on my left, my odometer had dropped even further. This is exactly what I was hoping for. Fuck work. I turned around, and went back to investigate. Once I'd reached the barren area, I followed what seemed to be a decrease in the amount of plant life growing, forming a circle of sorts, at the center of which I found the Eye. I picked it up and was surprised by how alive it felt, relative to everything around it. It was strange, but my car had given me an idea.\n\nAs I drove back, I came by my cousin's used car lot. I left the Eye in one of the cars as I went inside to check in on Jamal. He greeted me warmly and made me a cup of his coffee, which I indulged him by drinking. He proceeded to tell me about the shop, his wife and children, and many other things before I decided we'd passed the point of etiquette and took my leave. As I left, he commented on the \"new jeans\" I was wearing. I wasn't wearing anything new whatsoever, I guarantee that. I did have the Eye in my pocket, however, and was beginning to notice a pattern.\n\nI came back the next morning to find my suspicions confirmed. The car was as good as new. That particular car did not even turn on yesterday, and now it practically shone. As the true power of the Eye cements in my mind, it occurs to me that the world seems ripe for the taking. I'd have to be careful though. The Eye did not differentiate between organic and inorganic things. It had taken a few wrinkles off of my face just as it had taken a few scratches off my car. That was dangerous.\n\nI've begun carrying out the first execution phases of my plan, and will make New York, Chicago, and Los Angeles beg for my mercy. So far, I've used the Eye to fix up many thousands of cars the, with the price of doing so simply being that these drivers must drive their newly restored cars through the cities' busiest areas for particular shifts, usually about 6 hours. The effect adds up quickly. The traffic I'm causing will soon become more than a slight inconvenience.\n\nAs I create more and more traffic, I will prevent fire trucks from saving homes from fires, I will disallow the dead to be retrieved from their resting places, and I will forbid the police from being able to move in their own city. If drawn out, I will bring down property rates and the reliant taxes, hitting the city where it hurts. The best part is, this is completely legal. For the most part. Didn't cost me anything, and now I get to watch a few family members, grow up again. Jamal too.\n\n", "HEY GUYS PHIL SWIFT HERE WITH MY NEW CAREER PATH. RESTORING YOUR OLD CARS IN JUST A MATTER OF MOMENTS. MAY I INTRODUCE TO YOU MY NEW BUSINESS “AGAMOTORS” ARE YOU IN NEED OF CAR REPAIRS BUT DONT HAVE THE TIME TO DO THEM? WELL I DO!!!!!!! AFTER COMING TO DR STEVEN STRANGE TO LEARN MAGIC, I REACHED INTO THE DIMENSION OF DORMAMMU AND NOW KNOW HOW TO BEND TIME!!!! SO IF YOU NEED YOUR CAR LOOKING BETTER THAT IT DID BEFORE YOUR WIFE GAVE BIRTH IN IT, RUN IT DOWN TO AGAMOTORS IN OAKLAND CALIFORNIA. CALL NOW TO RECEIVE A SPECIAL OFFER WHERE I SLING RING TO YOUR LOCATION AND FIX YOUR CAR FOR 23.89!!!! \n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\nAlso could you buy Flex Tape? Nobody wants it and I am kinda tired of sawing boats in half then putting tape down the middle of a different uncut boat. I have 300,000 units in storage and 300 in my house. Please buy some", "######[](#dropcap)\n\n\"Duh Eye of Agememnon?\" \n\nSatoshi Agamotto sighed. They had been back and forth on the issue of pronunciation for over an hour but the owner of the junkyard just could not get the name right.\n\nNonetheless, Satoshi persisted in being utterly well mannered. \n\n\"Mr. Piscioli, I beg of you, the Eye has been in my family for hundreds of generations, thousands of years. It is immeasurably precious to us and it's powers know no bounds.\"\n\nAnthony Piscioli had stopped listening at the word 'Mr'. Instead he was pointing the weird eye shaped pendant he'd bought from a local flea market at one of the old jallopies on his lot. Anthony whistled loudly as the crap pot car transformed into its gorgeous, fresh off the lot finish. \"I love dis fuckin ting! Whadya call it again?\"\n\nSatoshi wanted so badly to slap this fat man. Instead he patiently repeated the name for the thousandth time. \"The Eye of Agamotto.\"\n\nAnthony tried to wrap his mouth around it. \"Duh Eye of Agatha.\"\n\n\"Ah-gah-moh-toh.\"\n\n\"Agammatuh\" Anthony looked down in amazement at the pendant, \"The Eye of Agammatuh. Awesome.\"\n\nSatoshi stood up. \"Sir,\" he said, ready to cut to the chase, \"my family has authorized me to pay you handsomely for the Eye.\" \n\nThis got Tony's attention. \"Now you got my attention. How much is dis Eye of duh Argonauts worth t'yuh?\"\n\nSatoshi swallowed his rage. \"1 million American dollars.\" \n\nTony nearly had a heart attack. But he was also a sly \"business\" man, the sort of business man who knew how to smell out desperation, and he smelled it in this Japanese guy in droves. \"Yeah, that's not bad and all, but this thing is revolutionizing the used car business. I could make a lot more than a mill using this for a few years.\"\n\nSatoshi despised the man's flagrant gamesmanship. He did not even obscure his rudimentary effort at manipulation. \"Name your price.\"\n\n\"Ohhh, I don't know\" Anthony looked down at the floor with mock consideration, \"20 million dollars.\"\n\nSatoshi balked at the figure. Not only was it outrageous, but the notion of giving that money to this man was beyond the pale. Satoshi had had enough of this charade. Time to play his own game. \n\nSatoshi dropped to his knees and brought crocodile tears to his eyes. \"Sir,\" he said, pleading with his hands, \"I beg of you, please just allow me to hold the Eye for the briefest moment. For this alone I will pay you grandly.\"\n\nTony was intrigued by Satoshi's sudden desperation. \"You jus' wanna hold it? Why?\"\n\nSatoshi made a big show of looking left and right for eavesdroppers, as if anyone cared a whit what was said between them. But Tony bought it and looked around himself, then leaned in for the answer. \n\n\"Sir, Mr. Piscioli, the Eye has incredible powers, as you well know. By turning the eye upon myself once a year, for just a moment, I turn back the tides of time. I am 1000 years old Mr. Piscioli! But without the Eye I begin to age again. I require but a look.\" \n\nThen Satoshi reached out a greedy hand, relying on Tony's actual greed, and getting the payoff. Tony recoiled from Satoshi's grasp. \"Hold on, so if I look into dis eye, I'm gonna be young again?\"\n\nSatoshi begged, prostrate on the ground. \"Please sir, do not do it! It can only work on one person at a time! If you look at the Eye, I will grow old and die!\"\n\nBut Tony was already twisting the pendant toward his own face, not listening to a word Satoshi said. Satoshi watched with the utmost satisfaction.\n\nThe eye reversed time locally, returning an object, or a person, to their earliest cognizable state. For a car, that was the car right out of the factory.\n\nFor a man, that was him as a newborn baby. \n\nSatoshi bent over and picked up the pendant, now draped loosely over the neck of the renewedly innocent Anthony Piscioli, placing it into a velvet lined box. \n\nAs Satoshi left, he took great pleasure in calling Child Services and reporting an abandoned child in a junkyard on the corner of Hewitt and Grand.\n\n\n******\n\n##### For More Legends From The Multiverse\n\n##### r/LFTM\n" ]	8
	[WP] Every day when you look in your bathroom mirror you give your reflection the middle finger. Today, after flipping it off, your reflection pulls a gun on you.	[ "Beth looked shit in the morning. Always had, always would, as far as I was concerned. Was I bitter? Maybe just a little. Was I right? Absolutely. No matter how many beauty products she'd lather over her ugly mug later, nothing could hide the bare rawness of the here and now. \n\nBethany was a cold woman, devoid of any sense of care. I knew this because I was her. A version of her anyway. The version that lived in the mirror house accessible through 'real' Beth's bathroom mirror. I say 'real' like this because of course, I can't help but consider myself more real than mirror Beth, despite knowing she's the original. We, the mirrored ones, know our place even if we do not like it. \n\nBethany-behind-the-mirror leads a good life. She has a pretty house, a well-paid job and only a housecat to give her grief. She shares wine with her friends on the weekend and turns down well-meaning dates after a hard work week in favour of curling up on the sofa and reading. She's undeniably lonely, something I cannot understand given her priviledged circumstances, but apart from the few occasions I've seen her sobbing her little pig eyes out in the bath she seems to have it all. \n\nI want it. I always have, ever since I was younger. Beth had everything I didn't. She had loving parents. Money. Food on the table. Me, in my mirrored universe, had nothing but jealousy and anger. Through my teenage years I watched her discover make-up and subsequently boys. I saw her enjoy the finer things whilst I lived in squalour and poverty. I saw her have love and turn it down whilst I endured a wife-beater and whining, whinging children. I saw her make her home a place of sanctuary with the money from her cosy job. My own home was my prison and my tomb, but not for long. \n\nThe woman on the other side of the mirror reached for the hairbrush and flipped a half-hearted middle finger in my direction, as she'd done since she'd learnt how to at the tender age of 11. That curious habit had once made me chuckle. No longer. I followed suit, but my heart was beating like a drum because I was going to break the decades long Directive. In my pocket, a gun buldged. In the other, the sullen black shard of the totem I'd saved three years of wages for that would allow me to pass through to her world. It pulsed in my clenched fist, and the sharp edges dug into my hand. \n\nTiming was everything. As soon as she'd flipped me off, I knew it was now or never. The shard broke in my palm, and a quick shoot of astonishing pain flew up to my heart. I pulled out the gun and although my hand quivered I held steady. Mirror Beth's eyes widened and her mouth opened in dumb shock. I reached my hand out to the cold surface of the mirror and felt it gave way beneath my enquiring fingers. Success flooded into my mouth. Beth was cowering away from me, but the beating of my drum heart was overpowering me and I could think of nothing but pressing my ill-gotten gun to the fucking woman's head and doing what I'd wanted to do since childhood. The instinct to kill her almost overrode the plan, but even though the desire was strong my many years of planning amd starving would not go to waste all for the sake of satisfying my blood urge. \n\n\"Beth, you motherfucker. Get down goddamnit or I'll shoot you.\" \n\nMy voice rang in the pristine bathroom, kept clean by the maid she had the luxury of hiring every single day. I marvelled at the clearness of my command and at the way my mirror sister fell to the floor as if she'd been cursed and by gods I loved seeing her shaking in terror. The gun was pleasingly solid my grasp, and I had the confidence of knowing that I had this woman in the palm of my hand. \n\nDid that make me a bad person? No, I don't think so. There is only so much priviledge you can see before it drives you to hate, and I'd seen lucky, lucky Beth the entirety of my life. Hate was a justifiable reaction. She was crying now, pathetic tears that made her ugly face even more hideous, and whimpering tiny little pleading words that made no sense. I didn't bother to understand her. We had a few short, fleeting moments left before the shard of the totem wore off. I could feel the power of it beginning to wane even now. \n\n\"Beth. Beth, Beth...\" I squatted down next to her. I suppose she might have been terrified of the gun, but that was only an effect more than anything else. No, I was the monster here, not the shiny new gun. How ironic that filthy, moneyless me would be the thing that would upset her the most. After all, we wore the same body, the same blue eyes, mouse-brown hair, thin lips, thin skin. \n\n\"Come on, get up now. I won't kill you. Go through the mirror and I won't kill you.\" \n\nNot-me looked at the glassy mirror and let out a bleak moan, but she at least had a small sliver of a backbone. Beth stood up shakily and did as I said. She climbed up onto the counter and pressed her palm flat to the mirror. Her hand sunk beneath the surface and her face looked comically shocked. There wasn't time though. No time to dawdle or marvel. My gloating would have to wait. \n\nI pushed her, and soundlessly the miserable woman fell through the mecurial liquid of the mirror and disappeared into my world. For a few seconds, there was utter stillness and only a few residual ripples across the mirror's surface whilst the totem became inert once more. Then I put the gun down and looked deep into the mirror. My reflection looked back at me, eyes hard and determined. Were they the eyes of an imposter, or of a woman finally in her rightful place? I did not know the answer. But I smiled, because years of planning had finally paid off and I was where I was supposed to be. Damn the consequences. I flipped a middle finger at my reflection, and went to start my new life. ", "Another boring day. I splash water over my short brown hair and check my chin for any missed stubble before flipping myself the bird and starting to walk away. I stand there frozen, slowly lowering my middle finger as I stare into my own green eyes. My reflection is holding a 50. Caliber magnum directly at my face, wearing the same confused and frightened expressions me. “..uhm..” I stammer. \n\n“Don’t move, bitch” my reflection says to me. It’s facial expression changes from my shocked one to its own grimacing angry one. My reflection sounds gangster? \n\n“Uhh” I’m at a complete loss for words.\n\n“Uhh uhhmm uhhh” he mocks me “damn you really is as stupid as you look. Ain’t you got sumthin betta ta say to me?”\n\nMy eyes dart from side to side checking my surroundings “Yeah.. uhh” I try to compose myself. “A-are you real?”\n\n“Duh I’m real! And so’s this gun an if you give me a reason imma pop it off in yo stupidass face” he’s so angry! \n\n“Why? Why do you want me dead?”\n\n“I don’t want you dead cuz, I thought we was friends but you always hurtin’ my feelings man”\n\n“How could I hurt your feeling? I don’t even know you.”\n\nHe gives me a look that says Ive said the dumbest thing on earth. “You don’t know me cuz? You flip me off every god damn day. And when you’re not doing dumb shit like that you calling me stupid, sayin you hate me, wishin’ I was someone else. Etcetera! You know me better than anyone else so why you gon tell me those things”\n\n“Wait a-are you actually me?”\n\n“Yeah I’m you! An I’ve had enough! I’m sick of this shit!” I think I see a tear starting to bud from his eye.\n \n“Woah man, I’m sorry I didn’t know you cared so much. I just say those things.. because” \n\n“Well they hurt man” he’s definitely crying. He wipes his eye with the back of the wrist that’s holding the gun. “Have some self respeck”\n\n“I’m so sorry, I’ll stop. I’ll be nicer to you- uh, myself I promise.”\n\n“Good!” He straightens up trying to act tough again. “If you start beaten on me umm come back for you! I swear it”\n\nThen he dissipated and my reflection turned back to normal. I smiled at my refection and it smiled back at me. “You’re gunna to great today” I tell myself. \n\nAnd that’s how I learned to love myself.\n\nThe End.\n\n\n" ]	2
	[WP]Your best friend died, you didn't know, instead you have been unknowingly hanging out with your friends twin.	[ "I sat beside Conley, my best friend, in front of his brother’s grave. The wind was spurring the grass to dance, as the raining rays of the sun slowly turned into orange-red.\n\nWe were talking. Catching up. We’ve grown apart since college started a year ago, and we were reminiscing about us and Sydney’s, Conley’s twin.\n\n“It’s been two years, huh? My condolence,” I said with a forced smile. \n\nTwins, they were always a strange bunch to work with, especially, Identical Twins. One minute you were talking with a twin, the other, you found out he was not the intended person. It was always foretold that twins has a sort of, connection. Telepathy? Maybe. The sad part was, that connection got the better of them, the worse of them actually.\n\n“Thanks,” Conley said with also, a forced smile.\n\n“Enough about this sad bullshit. I wanna know,” A wide smile spanning from ear to ear was seen on my face, “Did you lost it already?”\n\nHis brows locked, with a confused tone he said, “Lost what?”\n\n“Ugggghhhh,” I raised my hand in surrender, “Your VIRGINITY! It’s COLLEGE! And a whole year of it, I wanna know what babe took your first!” I said while figuring my hands on curves.\n\n“What the hell man! Give the dead some respect,” he said with a red face.\n\nI laughed, “He’ll be happier, hehehehehe,” I moaned, “To know when and whom his twin brother got the taste of it, going all ah ah ah,” acting the moment when he finally got it in.\n\nA bit angry, he covered my mouth from the embarrassment, “Shhhhh, what the hell are you saying in a cemetery?!” \n\nHis hand slowly released, “You know, I wish my brother was here.” \n\nSad smiles were being exchanged, “Me too man. Me too…”\n\n“Remember the time at high school? When me and Veronica was being all lovey dovey, we were ALWAYS together.” I tried to change the topic, my heart couldn’t withstand a twin’s genuine misfelt of his diseased other.\n\nSeeing my effort, he roared, “OH YEAH! Veronica… You were a couple that was REALLY annoying.”\n\n“Psshhhh, you’re overreacting.”\n\nHe counted the instances of annoyance, “You went to school together, you signed up for classes together, foregoing bros before hoes you little shit, you ride the bus on the way to school together, you walked to class together, you even live in same DORM together. You were hip and hip, I don’t even know who you were at those times, you were a different MAN when you were with her. ”\n\nI was flabbergasted, “Were we really THAT into together? DAMN, I gotta text her man. This is golden!” I pulled out my cellphone and send the recorded voice to her in messenger. \n\nWith a face filled with disappointment, he croaked, “Even NOW! What would Sydney think if he saw you right now?”\n\nThe smile I was holding slowly melt into a frown, I was staring at Conley, “Yeah, what would Sydney think? What would you think?”\n\nHis eyes shooked, he was visibly shaken. He tried to laugh it off, he bump my shoulder and chortled, “What do you mean by that? I’m Conley! C-O-N-L-E-Y, CONLEY!” \n\nHe was thumping his chest, desperate. I was still staring at him. A whole year of college gave me a lot of time thinking about the year ‘Sydney’ died. \n\n“You know, the funny thing about all this, me and Veronica broke up a year and a half ago, and Conley knew it,” I let out a hollow laugh.\n\nCheckmate.\n\nHis eyes were wide open, “I know that! I thought you were playing it off! I just went with your shenanigans again!” He was waving his hands, hoping for a last-ditched effort of retaining the current situation.\n\nI held both of his shoulders, “Conley DIED that day! I was with him! Both of my eyes witnessed his end!” \n\nBoth of us were shaking. Tears were already being drawn and small whimpers of regret and sadness bellowed around the surroundings.\n\n“What are you doing Sydney!? Do you think Conley would be happy to see you living HIS life, instead of YOURS!?”\n\nHe pushed me off of him, causing me to fall, “WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW!? YOU’RE NOT HIS TWIN! HECK, YOU’RE NOT EVEN FAMILY!!!”\n\nI stood up, and punched him squarely in the face, I spoke with a calm tone that even surprised myself, “I would know. He’s my best friend, even now.”\n\nI went near him. He backed off, guards up. I inched my way towards him and hugged him.\n\nI was caressing his back. He finally let out all the frustrations and anger he suppressed from the past two years. \n\nAfter a long while, his sobbing finally went to soft whimpering.\n\nI held his shoulders and gazed at him, “Live your life… Don’t let the past shackle your future.” \n\nAt that point, I was also crying. I felt the pain and suffering when I still thought Sydney had died. I don’t even know how much Sydney has suffered, fighting this battle alone.\n\n I apologized, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry because I let myself dwell in the illusion that Conley is still alive, pressuring you to be the person you’re not.”\n\nI hugged him hard. I wanted him to feel my heartfelt emotions about this matter, “Live. Live not for your brother, but for yourself. You don’t have to be selfless anymore. Be free, Sydney.”\n" ]	1
	[WP] A poacher gets reincarnated as an elephant.	[ "As I drew my final gasps of air, I thought back on my life. I was an infamous poacher who had traveled far and wide in search of the much prized ivory tusks. The pay was simply too good to pass up. I had slaughtered many of the large creatures that roamed Africa. Years passed, with the continual killing and harvesting of tusks until I was too old to withstand the fairly harsh climate of Africa. I settled down in a small town in America. In my time there, I had made some friends but they had come and gone. Most of them left me because of my disturbing past. And now, I am here. Sitting alone on my deathbed, realizing that no one had come to see my last moments on Earth. My heart was flooded with regret at the many years wasted in the pursuit of ivory. I shed one last tear before the darkness settled in over my eyes, robbing them of light. \n\nI opened my eyes. I saw that I was... back in Africa? Was this heaven? Was this the afterlife? I then realized that my view had shifted... upward. I felt taller, no, much taller. I then realized that instead of a nose, I now had a large trunk that I could move at will, like another limb. I looked around, and saw a few elephants close to me. No... this cannot be. This has to be a dream. I tried blinking my eyes a few times, but the image remained the same. What cruel irony was this? A seasoned poacher, now an elephant? There must some godlike deity up in the sky having a good laugh right now. Then suddenly, gunshots. I was all too familiar with the sound. I glanced over at my fellow comrades, who were now trotting away in fear away from the gunshots, and I heard the desperate cries of a wounded elephant. I looked behind myself, or tried to anyway, and through my peripheral vision I saw a familiar sight. A toppled elephant, fallen from grace, lying wounded on the ground as poachers began to cut the tusks from the elephant. Before I could react, there was another gunshot. I felt an intense pain in my side, and promptly fell over. As I drew my final gasps of air, I could hear the frantic yelling of the poachers, and felt the saws on my tusks before the darkness settled in over my eyes once more. " ]	1
	[WP] You fall asleep Wednesday. You wake up, arrive to work, and your co-workers begin to talk about their weekend plans. You look at your computer and the calendar reads Friday. You have no idea where Thursday went.	[ "Entering the office, I overheard some people talking about what they were going to do for the weekend. Now, this is usually normal on a Friday where everyone would talk about the weekend. That was until the new boss thought it would be a great time to have Saturday work for people who had slacked off for not doing their work during the week. They did want at least some pay for Saturday work with 1.5x pay to cover the fact that they had to work on a weekend. \n\nFor me, that was a good rule except for the fact that I didn’t remember a single thing that I did on Thursday. That could be because of the repeated nature of going to work then coming home to do random stuff at home before going to bed. Yesterday, was one of those days but wasn’t quite sure. But days merge into one another with the repeat of this job every day.\n\nHeading to my desk, I look over to my work colleague who was twiddling his thumbs, thinking of what he might do for the day. This wasn’t anything new as sometimes I usually do the same thing. Especially if I am waiting for something that needs to get done and I can’t do anything about that. But that wasn’t what was needed, so I looked at the date on my mini calendar and someone seemed to already have changed it to Friday instead of Wednesday that I had at. That wasn’t much a problem.\n\n“Hey Jerry, how is life?” said one of my co-workers as he came over to me.\n\n“A little bit confused as I thought today was Thursday but some people were talking about the weekend which is only heard on Friday,” I responded back.\n\n“I don’t know what you are talking about, as today is Friday, not Thursday,” said the co-worker.\n\n“It’s Thursday, not Friday like you are saying that it is Timothy.”\n\nTimothy got his phone out of his pocket and with the phone unlocked from putting in his password. He showed the phone to me to show that it was Friday the 6th of April, not Thursday as I thought before. This made my thoughts even fuzzier as I didn’t understand where the Thursday had suddenly gone off to.\n\nAfter about five minutes of thinking how I possibly missing Thursday from my schedule, I got distracted by our boss walking into our office. Now, this isn’t a problem that we usually have as he sometimes comes in to see if we are actually doing our jobs and not be lazy like some people have been in the past which had led them to be forced to work on the Saturday shift because of their actions. I haven’t been sent to that shift yet and I don’t really want to do that shift as I was busy tomorrow.\n\nThe boss came over to my desk space and with the whispers of fellow colleagues, he tapped me on the shoulder and said to me, “Jerry come to my office in my five minutes as I want to talk to you about something.”\n\nI didn’t think that it would be anything bad as he knows that I was a good worker for this company. Heck, it might be a promotion to avoid these people and this area of a job altogether. The problem though lies in the fact that I can’t remember what happened yesterday and it could be about that day. Wait, oh no, whatever did happen yesterday, I must have made a big mistake to get called into the boss office.", "\"What about you, Larry? Any plans for the three day weekend?\" Lou leaned over my cubicle, his coffee cup tilted enough to spill some drops on my desk. \n\n\n\n\"What?\" I asked, glancing at the date in the corner of the monitor. The date seemed right, but Lou didn't normally start yapping about his weekend plans till Friday. \n\n\n\n\"Me, I'm gonna sleep late tomorrow. Get up around noon and light the pit. You should totally come by,\" he said. \n\n\n\n\"Don't you have work to do? Wait, tomorrow?\" I looked up at him to start my reprimand, but he waved me off and turned away. \n\n\n\n\"Yeah, you're right. See ya tomorrow!\" He waved backward at me. I clicked the date in the corner of the screen. It said Friday. \n\n\n\n\"Computer's wrong,\" I thought to myself, but didn't believe it. \n\n\n\n\"Hey, Caroline?\" I asked the cubicle next to me. A chestnut next of curls popped up. \n\n\n\n\"Yeah, Lar?\" She asked. \n\n\n\n\"What's today?\" \n\n\n\n\"Friday. You going to Lou's Barbecue tomorrow?\" She asked. Her phone rang. \n\n\n\n\"But yesterday was Wednesday,\" I said. I liked Caroline. She was infinitely more personable than Lou, and one of the few I trusted in the office. \n\n\n\n\"You're funny, Lar. I got work to do.\" Caroline's head sunk down in her cubicle and I heard her answer the phone. I sat down in my chair and decided to ask Google what day it was. Google agreed that the day was Friday. \n\n\n\n\"What the hell happened to Thursday?\" I sat in my chair and tried to remember anything I could. But I found no memories between going to sleep last night, Wednesday, and this morning, Friday. I caught sight of Lou walking towards the copier and jumped up to walk with him. \n\n\n\n\"Hey Lou, I was here yesterday, right?\" He chuckled. \n\n\n\n\"You're asking the wrong guy. I wasn't.\" Of course, I should have known better. Lou only had a 50% chance of showing up to work on any given day. Nepotism ran strong in his father's company. It could have been worse; most of us were thankful that he did actually do his job well when he bothered to show. \"What's the matter?\" I almost told him, but the last thing I needed was him telling his old man I was having issues. \n\n\n\n\"Nothing. Just, you know, making conversation,\" I said. We reached the copier and I left him there. I headed towards Caroline's desk, but she still held the phone to her ear while rolling her eyes at me. That conversation was not going to be over anytime soon. I thought about who else I trusted on the floor, then headed to Johnny's cubicle. I remembered he took Fridays off the moment I saw his empty seat. Johnny enjoyed his three day weekends, and opted to do the 4/10 work week. \n\n\n\n\"Three day weekend,\" I mumbled to myself. Lou mentioned a three day weekend, but I didn't remember hearing about having Monday off. I headed back to Caroline's desk. If she wasn't off the phone yet, it was a harmless question I could ask Lou. Thankfully she was off the phone. I grabbed a nearby chair and sat next to her. \n\n\n\n\"I'm starting to think Lou is a bad influence on you,\" she said. \n\n\n\n\"I got something going on, I need your help,\" I said, wringing my hands in my lap. She looked up from her computer and gave me her full attention.\n\n\n\n\"Lou said we got a three day weekend,\" I said, unsure where to start. She nodded.\n\n\n\n\"Yeah, you going to the barbecue tomorrow?\" I shook my head, realizing I started off in the wrong spot. \n\n\n\n\"I didn't know we had Monday off,\" I said. \n\n\n\n\"Lar,\" Caroline leaned in closer and hushed her voice to a whisper. \"Did you drop acid this morning?\" I realized I needed to ask questions instead of starting off with statements. I decided to pick up the original line of questioning. \n\n\n\n\"What's today?\" Her eyes narrowed. \"Please, humor me.\" \n\n\n\n\"Friday.\" She said with a trace of disappointment. I knew she thought I was tripping. \n\n\n\n\"Three day weekend starting tomorrow?\" She nodded. Her phone rang, but I grabbed her hands to keep her attention on me. \n\n\n\n\"So we have Monday off?\" She shook her head. \n\n\n\n\"No idiot, we have Thursday off. Three day weekend, Saturday, Sunday, Thursday.\" \n\n\n\n\"What? Yesterday was Wednesday! Thursday comes after Wednesday,\" \n\n\n\n\"Damnit Larry, you too?\" Caroline hissed at me. \"That's some crappy luck working here.\" She spread her arms wide to gesture at the entire office. \"Look, just take the day off, and I'll explain it to you later. But don't let Lou hear you say that, he'll turn you in.\" \n\n\n\n\"What's wrong with working for the Border Patrol? Wait, turn me in for what?\" I asked, having enough sense to whisper. \n\n\n\n\"For entering our universe illegally. I don't know why you damn immigrants don't follow the proper channels.\" I heard Lou's voice behind me and felt a firm hand on my shoulder. \n\n\n\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\n\n**\n\nThank you for reading! I’m responding to prompts every day in 2018, you can find them collected on my [blog](http://hserratafun.blogspot.com/2017/10/front-page.html).", "Another long night, another refreshing, but short shower, maybe it’s time for some laundry, no not tonight. You just want sleep. \n\nYou wake up and roll out of bed after the five minutes. You sniff yesterday's uniform, then you look at the time. You wonder if you have enough time to eat, then you \"think well maybe I can sneak something at work\". \n\nFinishing up your morning routine, you get going. You arrive at work, and you keep sitting down in your car. You don't even notice the dirt, the trash, and the clothes inside. You take a minute to get yourself mentally prepared to walk in and clock in. Then finally with a groan you start walking, you wonder what and who you have to deal with today. You get clocked in, and you start your job. \n\n\nAfter the greetings and the usual, you hear your coworkers talking about getting shitfaced tomorrow on Saturday for their lucky day off. You realize it can't be Friday! Where did Thursday go? You ask your coworkers it is actually Friday today and they have to remind yes it is and what you did yesterday. You laugh it off by saying \"yeah the days are just rolling into each other.\"\n", "I stared at the monitor and blinked. \n\nNo wonder the local talk show was doing their Friday prank calls, I thought, because it is Friday.* \n\nI silently laughed at myself and clicked out of the calendar at the bottom left of my monitor. \n\nI continued thinking: Of course today is Friday. On Wednesday all I did was stay home and watch Twitch and on Thursday.... on Thursday I.... \n\nThe room seemed to blur and my head throbbed. I was supposed to meet some buddies on Thursday. I wouldn’t have missed it, I never miss our gatherings... My head pounded suddenly and I doubled over in pain. I spat out saliva in the trash can below my desk and a co-worker looked over at me, concerned. The lights seemed to be flashing...\n\n“Are you ok?” The co-worker asked urgently, getting out of her chair. \n\nI gasped, nodding. “I’m fine. Sorry. I just....” Seeing the look on her face I quickly changed tactics. “How was... Thursday, yesterday, how was it?”\n\nI was blundering through my words, but what else is new? She seemed to believe that I was ok and smiled. \n\n“Oh, it was nice. I caught up on some TV shows with my husbands because the kids went to bed early. It felt like Friday yesterday, actually.” She laughed.\n\nI nodded. It felt like Friday yesterday? Yesterday was actually Wednesday! For me at least....\n\n“Good to hear. I gotta go... real quick... to the bathroom.” I stood up and pushed out of the office, ignoring the amused expression on my co-worker’s face. I moved down the hall-way, passing empty boardrooms and offices. As I began to start thinking about yesterday once more, my head began to get cloudy. \n\n“You might want to sit here,” a lady’s voice rang out from a couch. My vision was cloudy and I couldn’t see anything. I wasn’t sure where I was in the building. I felt a drop of blood fall from my nose as I collapsed onto the couch next to the mysterious women that seemed to understand the pain I was in. The world flashed, and I saw things, not the future or the present, but the past. Last Thursday. Images from this last Thursday. There were tall buildings, crumbling, a city I don’t recognize. Another was some kind of plane but before I got a good luck I remembered a river and I remembered.... \n\n“It will be okay,” the lady on the couch assured me as the world went black. “It always hurts when you lose a Thursday.” \n\n—————\n\nSo that’s it so far, hmu if u want more. \n\nThanks. ", "''You guys...''\n\nMy coworkers halt their conversation and turn towards me.\n\n''Yeah?''\n\n''I was here yesterday, right?''\n\nDana shot me a confused look. ''Yeah'', she finally responded. ''Is something wrong, Dale?''\n\n''Well, it's just, you're all talking about your weekend plans, right?''\n\nNow she looked even more bewildered. ''...yes. As is usual, on Fridays.''\n\n''That's the whole point! Yesterday was only Wednesday!'' \n\nDana breathed a sigh of relief. ''Oh thank goodness, I was starting to believe something was up with you.'' \n\nNow it was my turn to be confused. ''But...where did Thursday go?''\n\nShe laughed. ''Oh Dale, always forgetful! It's Daylight Saving Time, remember?''\n\n''What?!''\n\nShe sighed. ''Don't play stupid with me. You know, Daylight Saving Time. Where once a year we skip a day in order to save daylight?''\n\n''That doesn't make any sense!'' \n\n''Yeah, I think so too. Especially since they just re-add the day in six months. But oh well, what can we do? At least we have an early weekend now.''\n\n''But that's not how-''\n\n''Oh, it's 5 o'clock already! Gotta go pick up the kids. See you on Monday!''\n\n''But...''\n\n''Bye Dale!''" ]	5
	[WP] "The means justify the ends"	[ "An evil dictator? A cruel leader? An crazed torturer?\n\nThe fight for the enrichment of music had started over a year ago. A terrorist organisation, calling themselves 'Da Musicbois', has gained control of major parts of the world.\n\nTheir sole aim? To enrich the music of our current generation.\n\nWhy? As their leader, 'Ho ho Mothafooka', as he so likes to call himself, is convinced that the same repetetive bullshit ain't gonna fly no more. He wishes to wake up the innermost critic in each human to the sounds of beaty and elegance, rather than to let them revel in monotonous beats and sounds.\n\nHow? Good question.\n\nThis is where Ho Ho thinks he has got down the perfect plan down.\n\nHe's built a playlist of the 1000 most boring popular songs, and he plays the playlist on repeat for months in his prisions.\n\nThen, he would slip in a 'quality' song. It was made so that everyday the prisoners heard at least one good song everyday.\n\nSome go mad. Some insane. Some can't do anything other than tap to the beat non-stop.\n\nMr Mothafooka claims that, indeed, the means justify the ends.\n\n" ]	1
Reposted with permission from u/iduker12.	[WP] You are in charge of creating propaganda for your totalitarian country. You think the current stuff is lame, so you try to make it funnier.	[ "\"Citizen Sad-I-MAN, you are to report to briefing room 36a and receive your task from briefing officer Pile-O-Books, good luck TroubleShooter!\" \n\n Friend Computer's docile tones vibrated my brain in a warm and vaguely unpleasant way. I ate my standard meal of Yum Yum brand algae paste on stale burnt toast. The toaster had been broken for at least three cycles already, producing what was closer to plasma cooled charcoal than bread. Hand-I-MAN tried to repair it yesterday, but only managed to toast his last clone and half of the common room.\n\nWith the allotted amount of calories ingested I proceeded down to the briefing room via the up escalator. Sometimes they are stairs, which is nice. The added benefit from the exercise being the strange man offering flyers and comics, the kind heavily featuring a hammer and scycle, was not idling on the bannister pushing his treasonous wares. Another brief hallway and the door was standing before me, like a monolith to some dark god. BRIEFING ROOM 36a the letters read in thick black lettering embossed on the frosted glass. \n\nAs I reached for the handle the door opened. The man from the stairs smiled looking up from his large treacherously oaken desk, the star pin on his lapel gleaming like his poisonous words. \"Aaah... come in COMRADE... we have been expecting you.\" \n\n\n\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] You walk into your friend’s apartment, it’s dark and there is furniture scattered across the floor. You find your friend curled up on the bed. You ask them what happened, and they slowly point up...	[ "I had been knocking on Trent's apartment door for a full minute. _He typically opens up by the third round of knocking. Unless he's on the WC. Yeah, he's on the WC, something just plunked,_ I told myself. _Don't consider the alternative._ He hadn't texted me since about nine that morning when I got a garbled pocket text-- let's hope that was the case.\n\nI jiggled the knob. No answer. _Well, this is why he gave me that spare key._ I pulled my keys out of my pocket, made sure no one was walking down the hall, and unlocked the door.\n\nI froze. The apartment was almost completely dark, and it stunk of rotting corpses. A liquid that looked like a mix of oil and acrylic paint coated the floor. There was the odd steak knife on the floor, the blades partly corroded where they touched the slick and the handles ashes. There were ...nine of them. _Damn, what went down here? And what is his toaster doing on the floor?_\nMy stomach soured-- his table was flipped, its legs snapped and the tabletop cracked. His desk was in smithereens, his PC was sparking on the floor, and his chair was taking up a bit more space than normal. It looked like there were a few bullets in the wall-- didn't know he kept a gun.\n\n_Well, I'd best find him._\n\nI picked my way across the sludge, shoes sizzling on contact. _Good thing I wore my work boots today._ I nearly slipped twice but only singed my fingers once, trying to catch my balance.\n\nI came to his bedroom door. It was dented, like something had been thrown against it repeatedly. I took a deep breath, drew my pistol, and shot the lock off.\n\nThe bedroom was more wrecked than the rest of the apartment, if such a state of disarray was possible. Clothes, sheets, and furniture were strewn about, and there were splatters of human blood in this room as well. At the centre of the carnage lay a roughly Trent-shaped humanoid form.\n\n\"Trent?\"\n\nHe groaned in affirmation. I walked as quickly as I could to his side, narrowly avoiding a drip of the black sludge on the way.\n\n\"Trent, what happened?\"\n\n\"Adam.... oh he he he he he, he he he...\" He dissolved into giggles and pointed at the ceiling.\n\nIt was spattered with what could only be human guts and blood. I looked down at Trent in shock, only to find that the entity on the bed was some otherworldly horror. I let loose a scream and a stream of eighteen bullets at the _thing_ that killed Trent. All the bullets missed or bounced off the thing's carapace. I had one bullet left.\n\n_Me or you, bud._\n\nIt rose to its full height, I backed up against the wall in fear. _Hold on..._\n\nThe monstrosity toppled, black blood gushing from its stomach.\n\nMy face never looked quite the same.\n\n----\n\nFirst WP response, feedback welcome!\n\nr/tyris776_writes" ]	1
	[WP] You are the angelic guardian of a button you are told will bring the end of Earth’s existence when it’s pressed. You guard it from demons and curious adventurers for centuries and centuries, but one day, curiosity gets the better of you.	[ "Angel:\n\"No no no no, Alastar. You must'nt press the device. Remember the Lord commanded us to protect it from others\"\n\n\nAlastar:\n\n\"Ah yes. It was eons ago since that command was givens. I can still feel his voice, but the meaning of it leaves me sometimes\"\n\nAngel:\n\n“Well it's a good thing you have me!”\n\n\nAlastar;\n\n“Have I told you about the times before you appeared.”\n\nAngel:\n\n“No, but will you please!”\n\n\nAlastar:\n\n“When God first created me and gave my duty I had always wondered what I protected this device from. I was so anxious to find out. what seemed like eons then, but was compared to now is such a short time I was sitting there coming up with ideas at what was coming. It was hard. I never seen another creature before. If I had to describe it. It was like trying to come up with a new color! I say so long I started to doubt my ability He could have had the decency to tell me what I had to face!In the end I could come up with is twisted mutations of myself. Sorry I must be rambling.\n\nAngel:\n\n“Please ramble on we have nothing but time”!\n\n\nAlastar:\n\nWell finally something finally decided to show up. It was very small. It had 8 legs, 8 eyes, and it was very hairy. Worst of all crawling over the walls and coming to the device! I couldn't trust it for didn't know what it was. So I burnt it! Then I started imaging all sort of creatures just like it but much much bigger. Later after many such creatures and creatures like then I learnt to leave little creatures like these alone. For They didn't have the mind or ability to use the device.\n\nAngel:\n\nWhat was its name?\n\nAlastar;\n\n“I heard a human once scream spider when dealing with a creature very similar to it. That reminds me! The very first human i had met. At first I was confused, its presence reminded me of the creator, but I would not be fooled. When I went up to it to smite it! It started to bow down and scream words I could understand! It was words of praise and apology to God directed at me. I was going to smite him for making me a God, but I got an ominous feeling and choose to converse with him. I told him I was not in fact the Creator and asked who he was. I think he told me his name was cain? I command him to leave, and he did. No other humans gave me this feeling and many more humans followed after him. It was just few humans that would visit at a time ar first. i could usually convince to leave, bit eventually I learned it's better just to kill them. I learnt this because eventually Armies of them came. They all claimed different reasons. Kill the devil, destroy the fake God, and others. It was easy they stood little chance. It wasn't much later in their time till they could finally hurt me and hurt me they did, but they never came close. It wasn't till I killed an unimaginable amount of them they sealed up the entrance and finally stopped coming. They could never understand that I was protecting their species from demise, but from then on I could only waited”\n\nAngel:\n\n“Humans must be nasty if they could try so hard to end the everything. Good thing you protected it”.\n\nAlastar:\n\n“You say that but Everything is gone”. \n\nAngel:\n\nWhat do you mean? How could his creation be gone. \n\nAlastar:\n\nRelatively just before you showed up. I experienced a great shaking. I no longer had to protect the device from creatures but the earth. I found that I was no longer in a cave deep in the earth, but exposed the orange sky, that would turn black for no reason. I could sense nothing around me. after a long time of that, I finally got curious and slowly explored the land. I found nothing, but molten slag and awful rain. There was no little creatures. There was no big ones. There was no humans. It was just empty land. \nThis world was empty. I had nothing to protect the device from. It was after this realization and my final return to the the device that you appeared Lucifer.\n\n\nLucifer:\n\nThen what is the point of you protecting the device. If there is nothing to protect it from. He never said you can't use the device right.\n\nAlastar:\n\n“That's true…”\n\nLucifer:\n\nWhy don't you use it!\n\nAlastar;\n\nAre you sure I mean is it alright?\n\nLucifer:\n\nThink about it. Your job is done! Maybe the creator would have wanted this.\n\n\n\n\nAlastar then reached for the device, when he finally touched it everything went dark. Then there was light.\n" ]	1
	[WP] Orcs, Elves, Humans and Dwarves have shared these lands for millennia. Now, 1914, the war to end all wars rages, and new alliances are forged.	[ "The President proclaimed “This war is the war to end all wars,” and like sheep, we believed her. \n\nI breathe. The target aligns with the shot. I pray silently to the gods; pulling the trigger is automatic. Beautiful silver blonde hair explodes in red bursts, shattering like broken glass, and the body falls noiselessly, effortlessly onto the ground. \n\nStorm clouds darken the skies, but do not hide the quick slicing motion directed to my squad. Two dwarves, two orcs, and an elf scurry like mice into the collapsing fort. They survey the area, nod, and direct for me to follow. \n\nThis is my fifth kill. The elf lies dead underneath us. Silver, blonde hair, snow driven snow, if not for the blood, one would expect this to be a fairy tale. A chaste kiss to the lips would awaken him, but smoke lifts to the skies, explosions suffocate the screams of the citizens and soldiers alike. This is unlike any fairy tale I have ever heard.\n\n“Ah’d make sure eets the real deal.” Brunnhilde lays her war hammer to the ground as she crouches near the body, “Ah heard he’d be here, son of one of de’ generals, but ye’ know elves.”\n\nAya narrows her eyes, tenderly plucking the crest off of the dead elf’s chest, “This is a Skyward,” disgust fills her eyes before she spits on it, “they hail from the mountains, of course they’d work for the enemy.”\n\nSkyward, Fireheart, Waterlung, Earthbound, these races comprised of the elves, and it is the Skywards from the mountains whom have laid waste to the majority of our shared land. The orcs and dwarves, eternal rivals, have sparked an alliance so unusual -- so contrary to their very nature that is still a marvel to behold when I stand in their presence, but it is nothing in comparison to the Dvalinn Kingdom and the Waterlung elves. \n\nIt was mutual hate, not rivalry, that brought them together. A chance for both sides to reap vengeance upon the Skyward elves, but I cannot fathom why. I am just a human. \n\nAya sneers, “We’ll take the body with us,” she returns to the path in which the others waited, “Aulay, take the body.”\n\nHe wraps the body tenderly, with care reserved for an infant, and I move ahead, uncaring of the method my orc companion will go about preserving the body. As long as there is no decay for the colonel, we will be well.\n" ]	1
	[WP] Elaborate a tragedy in a satirical way.	[ "The four-car motorcade rumbled over the sun-scorched crag and heat twisted the road ahead. Everyone wore spec sunglasses and protected their mouths from the infectious dust the tires kicked up in their wake. \n\nSitting in the front was the seasoned Corporal, skin leathered by the years of war like natural camoflage. Out here they said the longer you stayed the more you came to look like the enemy, but none ever risked saying it in front of the Corporal. His near perpetual silence deafened every other order from commanding officers and it was said that he could talk anyone into or out of anything without opening his mouth.\n\nIn the back of the same car, two Privates with 4 and a half battles under their belts (Houmal really didn't count because their wasn't really an enemy, but it boasted their KS ratio so they were allowed to keep the half) and eager for another. Today their mission was just to wait. \n\nThe four cars reached a point on the road where trenches had been dug to hide the cars and prepare for the ambush of retreating enemy combatants from the nearby hot zone. Somewhere deep into their forth hour of watch, one private asked the other if she was looking forward to going home. She shook her head and occupied herself by cleaning her weapon. \n\n\"Why the hell not? Dontcha have someone nice waiting for ya? Or a family or something? What about Taco Bell, heard they changed?\"\n\"Naw, I got people. But I'd not be here if they were folks I wanna see. Birthdays, holidays, weddings... for sure, so long as I'm black out drunk for half of it.\"\nThe Corporal popped his bubblegum. When he resumed chewing, the private thought he had to dig deeper.\n\n\"Yah, but, uh. What if somethin' bad happens? Like your mamma dies or somethin'?\"\n\"You're right, I forgot funerals. I love a good funeral.\"\n\"Somethin's wrong in your brain.\"\n\"Really?\" she looked up from her busy-work and said, \"You know what they're saying back home nowadays? They're saying girls are the same as boys and all them half-way folks are basically people. You know that?\" \n\"I heard that your woman from that there TV show now gets naked on the News! They say she has a penis, but I didn't get a chance to see it.\"\nThe Corporal knocked on the windshield, that was the signal. \n\n\"Let's get this over with.\" She said, climbing aboard the mounted turret on the back of the van. Almost thirty black trucks sped towards them fleeing the burning city, far more than anyone had predicted. Still out of range, she continued, \"Folks back home are so stupid, they talk about shit they don't even understand.\nI read somewhere that more shootings been happening lately and everybody gets all fired up. You know what they say? They say 'gun's don't kill people. People kill people'.\"\n\nLooking through the scope she saw the oncoming truck barreling towards them, letting out small fire-cracker pops. They were finally in range, so the Corporal put his feet up while the two privates squeezed their triggers and let a flurry of bullets melt the air between them. Soon the other three cars in the motorcade followed suit\n\"How stupid is that? You know?\" She continued, \"I mean it's so goddamn obvious! I haven't killed a single person.\"\n\"I did, 'member Hezzbo?\"\n\"Oh yeah, I ain't never seen an ass used so efficiently.\" Something stung her thigh, caught by a bullet... it felt like an M-16. She mumbled \"Dammit, cover me will you?\" \nWhile the private wrapped up her wound she rattled off, \"Walter P9 - 17, Semi-Autos - 35, AK47 - 108, Explosives - 2 ('cause they're for pussies) and...\"\n\nThe other private's gun stopped firing and he collapsed, blood bursting over the back of the truck. She stood, returned fire, all the while continuing, \"Mounted Machine-Guns- 88, 89, 90. Jesus, alone, this would be impossible and those idiots back home What an age to be alive.\" A smile crept across her face. \nOnce the enemy trucks had been subdued, The Corporal made a phone call. After twelve seconds of silence he hung up. Twelve seconds later, an army of drones blotted the sky and leveled the city. The remaining private looked on and said to herself with the same crooked smile, \"5 and a half\".\n\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] You've awaken in a shallow grave in the middle of the medieval age. You only remember one thing, the face of your killer	[ "Darkness. \n\nSuffocation.\n\nSilence. \n\nThose 3 feelings are things that would terrify normal people out of their minds, and yet you only have one thing on yours. A face. Brown eyes, chiseled jaw, hair in a very ragged, unkempt fashion, and dark as soot. A mole just below the left nostril, breaking up the light... the light!\n\nYou're torn from your vengeful memory by sunlight coming in from above, and noise, and wonderful air. Oxygen, that sweet nectar of life, floods in to your lungs, as you're hauled out of the grave by a concerned looking farmer. Both of you sit there for a few seconds, neither party really sure what to say to the other. You, savouring the feeling of life once again, and the farmer, unsure why you were even buried in the first place. They weren't too abnormal for the time, a green shirt red trousers, and no shoes. All topped off by a black scarf. Not that you have any idea why that's your attire. Come to think of it, you don't remember anything. At all. Except the face. \n\nBreaking the silence, the farmer speaks, handing you a leather canteen. \"Water?\"\n\nRelieved, mostly for the fact he seems to speak a similar language, you take a swig, and the farmer motions towards a small hut nearby. \"Let's go inside, you can tell me what happened there, when you're safe.\"\n\nAgreeing, you follow the man down the winding path next to the field, and idle chatter follows. He's the only man you know, so you may as well speak to him. \"How did you find me?\"\n\n\"I was about to plough my field, need to try and start early now my son's gone. Blasted war.\" He pauses, stopping walking to look up at the sun, setting behind a church on the hill, and also to let you catch up. Being buried seems to sap the strength somewhat.\n\n\"So, do you have any Idea why you were in there? You don't seem injured. Robbed, maybe, but you're handling yourself fine.\"\n\nRobbed. Maybe that was it? That may explain you having no shoes... but why not just take all the clothes off your back? It's not as if dead men need them. The scarf was actually rather nice. \n\n\"No, I don't remember anything... at all. I don't know where I am... I don't even remember my name.\" You stop walking, as the sudden realisation of the scenario starts to set in, and the farmer, hearing your footsteps cease, turns around.\n\n\"Perhaps it'll come back with time. I tell you what, provided you're healthy tomorrow morning, you can help me get my land in order. Over the next few days, maybe getting your mind off of things may help you remember.\"\n\nTake your mind off things. Maybe a few days honest work in the countryside might go some way towards that you think to yourself... but it won't remove that face. That image. \n\nRegardless, you decide to give it a try and wander after the farmer. Maybe even food would solve the issue, and you'd started to get a slight smell of soup from the small hut as you got closer.\n\n-------------------------\n\nSeveral days labour. Nothing. No memories. No solutions. Just the face. Only the face. Those brown eyes staring straight at you. Annoyingly, there was no anger in those eyes. Only shock. A sense of surprise, a sense that what was happening was not what they had foreseen or intended. \n\nOn the plus side, the parish priest has agreed to help you today, the farmer had mentioned your predicament while bringing some milk to the church, and thankfully the priest was the kind of person not to let a soul wander without at least trying to help. Perhaps god could help. Right now, you only knew of the farmer and his wife, and even though you trusted them to make a damn nice stew, mysteries of the mind were most likely to be beyond them.\n\n\"You there, Rock, I've come to fetch you\". You turn, having become used to being called Rock. A fitting name for someone found in the ground, perhaps the farmer did have some poetic capability too. The voice belonged to a short fat monk, wearing the typical robe. \"The path is a bit winding, so I was told to come and get you.\" \n\n\"Thanks.\" You really don't want to get lost. While you've learned the way around the few fields the farmer has, you don't trust yourself on your own elsewhere. What if you forget everything again?\n\n\"It's also probably quite useful I came to pick you up, you really do look like you were dug out of the ground.\" The monk said, walking slightly behind you, his short legs unable to keep pace. \"We can stop off at the priory to get you cleaned up, then you may have a better chance of receiving spiritual guidance.\"\n\n\"Sure, why not.\" Can't hurt, you reason to yourself. Would be nice to feel well kept again.\n\n\"You've got quite the beard there too, we'll deal with that. I bet you can't remember the last time you shaved.\" You run your hand over your chin, can't even feel your well shaped jaw through this beard. Was clearly about time you shaved. \n\n\"You have no idea how true that is.\" Chuckling at the unintentional joke, you enter the priory, and the monk points to a room to the side. \n\n\"If you go in there, you'll find some warm water, a razor, and something to get a lather going. Hopefully that'll do, I'll try and find a mirror for you, but I can't promise anything.\"\n\nSitting down, and pouring out some water, you let the steam rise over your face. Finally, you can have a small moment of peace. Taking the scarf off, allowing yourself clear view of your neck and chin, you start shaving. Doing as best as you can, without an actual clear view, you move along the jawline, carefully revealing the rest of your face to the world. Farmer will hardly recognise you think.\n\nThe Monk returns with a mirror a short while later. \"Sorry about that, the Priest is dealing with some woman who's having bad visions. I was calming the family. Looks like you don't really need the mirror after all.\"\n\nTaking it anyway, you gaze in to it, originally wanting to perfect the shave, but then realising you weren't even sure what you really looked like. What your face looked like. What the face looked like. \n\nYou stare in to the mirror, unable to look away. Frozen, razor still in hand near your throat, you struggle to comprehend what you're seeing. Your hair, black as soot and unkempt, gave way to brown eyes, breaking up the light skin with the help of a mole just below your left nostril... lowering your gaze further still, you see a scar, below where the scarf would have been. Clean, like it was made by something incredibly sharp, and across all of the neck you could see. The rest was hidden behind your hand. With the Razor still in it.\n" ]	1
	[WP] Everyone has a spirit animal which is determined at birth. On your 18th birthday you’re expected to go out and find yours and bring it home with you. Turns out, yours is the legendary animal, the Unicorn.	[ "I sat at my desk and looked out over the street, my dirty single pained window casting shadows over my empty sketchbook. A woman walked briskly down the sidewalk, a dog on a leash and an opaque angelfish, the size of a dinner plate and the glowing form of a snake following behind. I sighed, it was the day before I'd be turning 18, the day humans could connect with another, their spirits bound together in an inter-species marriage. Each species would get the powers of the other, and an image of them would follow the other around. Cats got theirs on their second birthday, dogs when they turned 1.5. The 26 year old elephant at the zoo still hadn't gotten hers and one could even sometimes see the ghosts of large creatures gliding after butterflies. I had read that the early humans didn't believe the animals could have the spirit animals, because they could only ever see their own. In the modern times however people had learned to see past themselves, and so, visualistics was taught from an early age. \nI scribbled a lion, my fathers spirit animal, he had met the great beast on a trip in the African savannah when he was 21. I scribbled a shark, large, with a gaping mouth. My mother had gone out to sea at 25.. studying the microbiology when a whale shark had swam up. My brother had found his at the animal shelter on his 18th birthday, a husky, howling madly, he promptly adopted the dog and the double image of the two where seen running along the trails. It was weird for people to see a human spirit animal, as the double images where but echos of the individual. Living as long as the other. My sister had taken years to find hers, she was 27 when on a trip to Canada a raven had flown past, the beady eye glinting as a ghost rippled off it and a mirror image of herself seteped out of her and leaped after the black bird. \nI scribbled out what i imagined mine to be. A peacock, a bear, a bee, the sky darkened and I pushed myself away from the desk to head to sleep. \nMy family was going to Scotland for my birthday, we where to go on hikes and visit the coast.\nMy 18th birthday came and the celebrations where great, we left at noon and headed north in our large family car. We arrived later that afternoon and left the suitcases we brought in the hotel room heading out to grab dinner. \nA full English for me a steak for my brother and mother, and noodles for my sister, father was out on a business trip.\nWe returned to the hotel room and settled down in front of the tv, the family turned to their usual favorite, some talk show about dogs and I left to take a walk in the forest behind the hotel. It took me an hour to get away from the drone of the road, but I found a clearing and settled in the grass under a wide leaved tree. The rain drizzled softly and I closed my eyes. \nA thump made me open them suddenly. 1 was looking into a mirror next to 2 unicorns, my reflection, a silvery blue and one of the unicorns, coming in and out of focus \n" ]	1
	[WP] You can share-shift into anything if equal mass that you have observed; the more accurate and detailed you observe it with your senses, the more exact you can mimic it.	[ "It is time to slip again.\n\nThis is what we call it in my tribe. Like a slipskin grape, the easy and soft peeling of outer tissue, revealing the hearty fruit within.\n\nBut it hurts. It is agony beyond comparison, truth be told. This is why slipskin are revered as the strongest of warriors, for their fortitude must be that of ten men.\n\n\"Hurry!\" Akante hisses, sweat dripping from the end of his long, hooked nose. As I study him carefully, I realize everything about my brother is long. His eyelashes, fine and black as feather down; his ostrich-like neck; his torso. His arms, too. They will be trouble, as both are covered in intricate tattoos. Here, a skull with roses for eyes -- the sign of the Skully Fallows, our homeland. Here a set of three thick bands. Creeping vines, a roaring bear on its hindquarters, a shield bearing the sun and moon...\n\n\"It's not something you can rush,\" I say. My voice is meditative, calm. I must ignore the whistle of arrows overhead, the soft thwap of their penetration into earth. I must not smell the heat and blood, or mind the thundering of hooves approaching us. \"Just breathe,\" I tell my brother.\n\nHis eyes are wet with pain. His bloody fingers press hard against the seeping, dark wound in his gut, the arrow shaft wobbling with each panicked breath. The fletching is a raven's feather -- the telltale mark of the Hoods. They who have been banished from other tribes. Men without honor, without remorse. The very same who burned our village to cinders and ash those many moons ago, when Akante was just a stripling of a boy. And the same men who took him, raped him, broke him, turned him out into one of their own.\n\n\"Shot dead by my own kind!\" Akante says, laughing dryly, then coughing blood.\n\n\"They are not your kind. They would shoot their own mothers.\"\n\nAkante grows quiet. He stares wistfully up at the clouds, does not flinch when a raindrop sprays his forehead. \"Rowan?\" he says suddenly, hoarse.\n\n\"Shh. You must'nt speak. Save your strength.\" \n\nI can feel it starting. I have the image of him firmly in mind, and the burning under my skin has begun. I do not fight the pain as it grows, but welcome it.\n\nAkante licks his lips, struggling to get saliva into his dry mouth. His face has turned the pallid shade of death. \"Can you forgive me?\" A drop of liquid tumbles down his cheek, but whether it is rain or sweat or tears, I cannot tell.\n\nMy heart wrenches in my chest. I try to respond but find the words choke in my throat. I nod, softly. The Hoods were aiming for me, but Akante leapt out to take the arrow and spare me. How many seasons had we hunted one another? How long had I thirsted for vengeance against him? And now here he is, and he's saved my life. \n\nAnd now I must take his, if I want any chance of survival.\n\n\"Someday,\" Akante says, his voice difficult to make out against the war cries, \"we will meet again as kin.\"\n\nWanting to scream, or cry, or both -- I let go.\n\nMy skin melts away. Like an old leaf put to flame, dissolving, curling in on itself. I am muscle, tendon, bone, and fat. I am inside out. Beneath my transparent eyelids, my irises flicker and change color to Akante's soulful, brooding shade of brown. My bones creak and snap as they shift into his slender frame. Even my organs--the viscera and lungs and speeding heart--become jelly-like as they morph, growing or shrinking or taking new shape.\n\nThe pain becomes enormous, god-like, a giant wave that swallows me whole and wipes away my personhood clean, until there is nothing left of me but the white hot core of suffering. I forget my name. I forget everything. Haven't I always been here? In this place of torment, and fire, and fear?\n\nMake it stop. Please, oh Spirit Mother. Make it stop. Just kill me.\n\n-------------------------------------------\n\nAt last, the Hoods fall upon the clearing, their faces crouched in shadow beneath their black cowls, their mares likewise black as soot.\n\n\"Akante!\" their leader calls.\n\nI stand up. Where my brother has lain, there is nothing but ashes. I look at my hands, their long fingers. My legs, which have grown instantly like a sprouting fig. My new tattoos.\n\nAnd--much like the rain puttering into my brother's ashes and washing them away--the pain has vanished. Like it never was.\n\nI turn to address the warlord. \"Yes, Chief?\"\n\n\n\n\n", "Tay was... well, heavenly. It wasn't usually this good. Usually there was a distant part, a separation, a wall that observed and jotted down every detail. But Tay's scent, sweat and dirt and lavender soap, made xem more real. Xir calloused hands, arthritic from a young age, were gentle if not agile, and unmistakable to the skin.\n\nI had gotten an eyeful already, sketching xem over these past few weeks in Charles' apartment. Tay looked soft and plump, but underneath the gentle layers of fat had muscles that made my heart hum. Not short, not tall. Xe had stubble all over, from xir shaved head to their shaved pubes. It was a treat, feeling xir scalp under my fingers.\n\nXe was smaller than me, at least the me that existed in Charles' apartment. This me was fairly muscular, though, and if there was an imbalance... I'd done it before. The trick was body fat and hair. I once became a girl so petite I had to grow her breasts another cup size and her hair six feet long. It was harder the other way around. \n\nI breathed in through my nose, holding Tay's scent in my memory. I let my hands drift over xir body slowly, exploring. Xe did the same, moving in rhythm with the music from the apartment next door.\n\nI love big cities like this. There are so many people, so many sights. I once spent hours sitting on a rock, in the sun, in a park, running my hands over every crevice, sketching out the little details until I had it. That night I sat and thought myself into the change. It took hours, a whole night of me sitting naked with my clothes folded up under my notebook, but it felt like I was stretching muscles that had gotten frozen. Kind of an ache, but good.\n\nMother told me it was painful for her, especially inanimate stuff, but I think that's because she didn't pay attention. She didn't have the artist's eye for detail. She really is more of a broad strokes sort of woman.\n\nMy sibling was working as a model these days. Several, actually. A good living, even if it made Mother click her tongue about the impossible standards for beauty. \n\nI don't think either of them ever had the hunger that I do. I don't change because it gets me something. I change because it feels amazing, like slipping into a new cotton shirt after taking a shower, or plunging into a bubbling hot springs in the middle of winter. And when my selves die, or are bulldozed over, or break, I still have them. I can remember them all.\n\nIn all honestly, I don't remember which me I started out with. Mother can always tell who it is when a stranger visits, but I haven't seen her for almost fifty years. She may have forgotten. She was a tree in Central Park for a few years, and I think getting leafy for that long makes her a bit dozy after. She likes being plants, especially when she gets tired of farming. She never becomes a man, though. I think she's a bit old-fashioned that way.\n\nTay sighed deeply. I smiled and kissed xem on xir nose. \"Not so bad, right?\" I said. \n\n\"Mm. No, not bad at all,\" xe smiled. \"Is that really all you need to do?\"\n\nI grinned and changed. I took it slow -I'd rehearsed xir face, but knowing xem inside and out meant I could change from the tips of my fingers down to my toes. Tay watched in fascination as my features slowly shifted, the high cheekbones moving downwards, soft chin sharpening, my weight redistributing itself.\n\nI could feel my organs shifting and gurgling. Most of the time I didn't even notice, but with Tay... There was something wrong on the inside.\n\nXe must have noticed my discomfort, because xe reached out to touch my face. Brave thing, I thought. It wasn't exactly pleasant to watch the change, much less touch me while I did it.\n\n\"Don't worry,\" I said. \"Pretty sure it's just the cancer.\"\n\nXe raised xir eyebrows. \"Just?\"\"\n\nA wave of nausea hit me. I clenched my teeth. \"Yup. Just some good old-fashioned leukemia.\" Xe felt awful.\n\nI held it as long as I could before I let my organs snap back to another self. I kept my outer shell Tay-shaped; I wanted to share this with xem, but I didn't want to vomit on the carpet. I looked into xir eyes, trembling.\n\n\"Weird, very weird,\" Tay murmured. \"You've been doing this how long?\"\n\n\"My entire life!\" Tay smiled back at Tay. \"So, like, a century, more or less.\"\n\n\"Weird,\" xe repeated.\n\nWe sat, naked and silent, for some time. Tay broke the silence first.\n\n\"It's... I know I'm going to die, eventually, right? But I'm hoping it's not this round. But I'm going to change. All the... all the fast-growing parts of me are going to change. And die. I'm not going to look like this for long.\" \n\nI nodded.\n\n\"Just...\" xe hesitated. \"Visit me, as me? Not as I will be but as I am, as I feel like I should be.\"\n\nI nodded again. I'd seen it happen lots of times. They shrink into themselves, they wither. Sometimes, like perennials in Mothers' garden, they grow back. Sometimes not. I have to make sure I don't use their face for a while after that.\n\nI smile Tay's warm smile back at xem and squeeze their hand. \"I promise.\" Maybe seeing themselves, as they could be, maybe it'll help.\n" ]	2
	[WP] You're on your way to the grocery store when you see an alternate route on Google Maps that says "3 months slower"	[ "\"That doesn't seem right,\" she uttered under her breath. Kathy unhooked her GPS from the dashboard. Adjusting her glasses, she went to work. Which, in this case, meant double-checking the settings and reentering the location.\n\nShe leaned back in her seat, car idling in the parking garage by her apartment complex. \"What...\" It still showed the alternate path, 3 whole months. Kathy always entered her destination when she went out, even if it was to a place she had been dozens of times before. The two routes that her GPS showed had the one she always took, and a slightly longer one that took the backroads. \n\nLips pursed, she put the GPS back on its mantle and buckled her seat belt. \"Why the hell not.\" Kathy shrugged, driving out of the garage and paying close attention to the directions on the GPS. It must have been a... what, a bug? A glitch? She didn't know the first thing about navigational systems, but it was obviously an error. Right?\n\n\"In 800 feet, take right,\" said the GPS, in the British female tone that Kathy had come to love.\n\n\"Right, right.\" Kathy looked at the screen again as it updated the distance and time, apparently traveling 800 feet would take 3 months. \"Whatever you say, Jane.\" Kathy smirked, shaking her head. It was definitely a glitch.\n\nHer eyes bounced from the road to the woods about ten feet off. Hood of a black car popped open, smoke rising from it, and a gentleman in a deep blue suit. He was, \"gorgeous.\" Kathy shook her head, slowing down her car and pulling over slightly to not block traffic on the rural road. \"Hey, are you all right?\" Kathy rolled down the passenger window, speaking to the man who now looked up from his phone, distress in his eyes.\n\n\"Uh... yeah. Yeah. I think I am,\" he said, a shakiness to his voice. \"Actually, I don't think I'm getting any reception.\" He laughed, pointing at his phone.\n\nKathy nodded. \"Oh. Yeah, uh, it's pretty shitty out here. I think I do. You wanna use my phone?\"\n\nThe man sighed in relief. \"That would be great.\" He pointed back at his car, the smoke had let up a bit. \"I don't totally know what happened, I just heard this rattling and--\"\n\nAn oncoming car suddenly swerved, crashing directly into the driver's side of Kathy's car. For her, everything went blank. There was an echoing grinding of metal, and a putrid smell of smoke that felt it was burning her lungs. Then, soft murmurs and the darkness that had enveloped her began to contract and expand in cycles. A dull hum of pain all the while, and breathing. The constant sound of inhaling and exhaling, but so loud it was like a pressure on her eardrums.\n\nShe opened her eyes, the darkness turning to white as the room of a hospital came into view. Kathy stirred, dazed and confused as she reached around, touching everything near her. Her fingers gripped the line of an IV bag that was deep in her arm. \"Oh my God... help? Help?\" She looked around, the sunset sky giving the windowed side of the room a pink hue. \n\nThe panicking stopped as she tried recalling the last events before falling to unconsciousness... the gentleman in blue. The blur of what she assumed was a vehicle hitting her. An alternate route. \"Shit.\" She leaned her head back against the soft pillows, eyes staring up at the beige ceiling. Kathy didn't even want to ask how long she had been here... she already knew what the answer had to be, but she didn't want that confirmed. How was that possible? How did the GPS know? No. No this was crazy. It was a coincidence. \n\n\"Hey.\" A voice called out, Kathy jerking her head to meet it. She didn't even hear the door open... or shut, for that matter. \"You're awake.\" Albeit a bit blurry, but, it was the same guy, still in his blue suit, standing right in front of the closed door into her room.\n\nKathy winced. \"H-how? Why are you...?\" She propped herself up, getting a closer look.\n\n\"I figured you might have some questions,\" he said, taking a few steps forward, hands clasped at his waist. \"Your GPS, am I right? You were following your GPS?\" Kathy opened her mouth to respond, but couldn't find the words. She simply nodded her head. \"Navigation devices have been behaving strangely around me.\"\n\n\"Well what the hell does that mean?\" She asked, anger in her voice.\n\n\"You see... sometimes, when routes are drawn around my person, they report the true time it takes to get to their destination. I'm not talking about traffic, or road work, or anything like that. I'm talking about anything.\" He paused, Kathy's eyes widening, head tilting. \"You were the first. But there have been others since you fell into your coma. It's been about 3 months.\"\n\nKathy pointed her finger at the door. \"Get out.\"" ]	1
I’m bored at work and like coming up with stories and writing prompts :D	[WP] You’ve always dreamt of having super powers. You wake up one morning and discover that you’ve developed abilities! There’s one catch, your super powers are super underwhelming.	[ "“My day started like any other. I got up, showered, changed, and made breakfast. As I sat down to eat, I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I quickly turned my head, but nothing was there. I turned back to my breakfast, eager to eat when I saw it again. Something black and rectangular. \n\n'What the hell..?' I mumbled to myself as I got up to investigate. I turned the corner of my kitchen into my living room and stopped. Nothing was there. I stared at the living room, anxiously waiting for something to move, when I saw it. My phone was moving. I went to pick it up and in a blur it moved across the room. I heard a faint voice say, \n\n'Too slow, motherfucker!' I went to grab my phone again and I saw something I didn't before: it was an inch off the ground, being supported by four miniature legs. In shock, I muttered, 'What the hell?' I went to grab my phone again and this time I picked it up. With closer examination I saw mouth. I threw my phone onto the couch and ran out of the room into the bathroom. What the hell was that? I scoured my mind trying to find a logical explanation for what just happened, but I fell short of an answer. I was shocked back to reality from the sound of something hitting the floor on my left. Immediately after I heard a faint voice say,\n\n'Son of a bitch! That hurt like a motherfucker!' It was a soap bar. A soap bar with four legs and a mouth like my phone. 'What the hell is going on in there?' Another voice inquired from outside the bathroom door. 'What is happening to me?' I asked desperately. 'What the fuck are you talking about?' the soap bar shot back at me. 'What is going on?' I asked again. 'How the hell should I know? I just fucking got here!' the soap exclaimed angrily. I went over to the soap bar and picked it up. It bit me and said 'Don't fucking touch me, man.' I dropped it onto the seat of the toilet and apologized, 'Sorry, sorry. Do you know what is happening?' 'You are asking me that?' the soap said. 'Last thing I remember is falling asleep in class and waking up to your big ass slamming the door.' 'Falling asleep in class? What does that mea—' I was cut off by a large bang on the bathroom door, followed by a deep voice. \n\n'Hey,' The voice exclaimed, 'What the hell is going on? Open the door!' I walked to the door and opened it enough to see who was talking. At first i saw nothing until I looked down. I saw my coffee machine on the ground, surrounded by my breakfast, my plate, my mug and my phone. They all demanded I tell them what was happening, while using very rude words. At last when they quieted down, it was obvious they expected an answer. Not wanting to anger the newly animated inanimate objects, I just said 'Look, I honestly don't have the slightest clue about what is going on here. All I know is that..' I trailed off, thinking. Only things that I touched this morning are becoming sentient. \n\n'Well, asshole?' I heard somewhere from the pile of scrambled eggs. 'I.. I think everything I touch turns alive.' This revelation was met with harsh words and insults all around. 'I'm going to go get something to cover my hands.' I told the small angry mob. I decided on plastic bags to cover my hands since they are thin enough to not become alive, or at least hopefully. I tried to quiet the constant string of 'Fuck you's coming from the mob by saying, 'Guys, listen. I don't know what is going on here. Why don't we calm down and try to figure this out together?' This, again, was only met with insults. 'Alright!' I interrupted them. 'Listen! Let's test this.' I removed my hands from the bag and touched my TV remote. 'Might as well kill two birds with one stone huh?' I asked while changing the channel to the news. I had to turn the volume all the way up to drown out the non-stop wave of insults coming towards me. Maybe this is happening to someone else. Maybe I can get some help. I watched the news, finding nothing but regular weather reports. My attention was turned to the remote when I felt something in my hand. The remote was growing legs! \n\n'Well look at that shit! You're a fucking daddy!' the plate sarcastically observed. I put the remote next to the plate on the couch and watched as it finished growing its legs and mouth. It didn't do anything for a second. Finally it said, \n\n'What the fuck is going on?' Great. Another rude object to add to the mob. My attention was turned back to the news by the flash of a banner reading 'Breaking News.' I watched as the reporter explained, \n\n'We are having many reports of male 12 through 14 year olds going missing. As of now 30 parents have called to report their child missing, all children male and in middle school. Please, if anyone has any information, report directly to the police.' I looked down at the angry mob. I counted 36 animated inanimate objects. 'Hey!' I exclaimed, 'Was anyone here in middle school before this?' Aside from the curses, I was met with a chorus of 'Yeah's. I had no idea what to do. If I was right, I was turning inanimate objects into animate objects, using rude middle school kids' consciousnesses. I put the bag back on my hands and called the you guys.'\n\n\tThe police officers stared at me for a while. One officer looked down at the mob, back at me and said, \n\n\t'Sir, are you on any kind of drugs? The ‘mob’ you keep referring to is not animate.' I looked at the mob. They were still going crazy, hurling insults at me and the officers. 'What? No. Can you please help me?' The officers started walking towards their car. Before they got in, the officer said, 'We really don’t have time for prank calls right now. We have to seriously investigate the missing children.' They ignored my calls and drove away.”\n\n\t“So, that’s why i’m here.” I explained to the nurse. “Can you please help me?” I asked. \n\n\n\t“Of course sweetheart. That’s what we do.” the nurse replied. “Ok then,” i told her. “I’d like to check myself in then.” She gave me the paperwork and when I finished it, she said “Well, you are all set. Welcome to the Chicago-Read Mental Health Center!” \n\nEDIT: Ok i got carried away, sorry about the long ass response. Also, this is my first writing attempt except for free write in fourth grade, so sorry if it's terrible. Hope you enjoyed." ]	1
	[WP] A teen becomes a super villain as an act of rebellion against their super hero parent. They didn't expect their full support to make their own life choices.	[ "A portal made of stardust violet and midnight blue split the darkened skies apart, and from the portal emerged Lady Umbra, the Queen of Darkness.\n\nThere was no time for defense, no time for preparation. She aimed to shoot, but the bullets were deflected without thought. She cursed at her, spat at her, screamed she did not have the balls to do what she came to do. Lady Umbra stared above her, wondering, questioning, what was this woman's heart worth? She didn't think about for very long as the woman suddenly stopped struggling, and the venom in heart drooled out of the corner of her mouth as she slumped in the chair, dead. \n\nShe raised her hand and swept the evidence away. A week's time was what she suspected, possibly three days before discovery, and that was all the time she needed. By time someone thought to force upon the door or peer through the window, she would be in the safety of her dormitory, a great distance away from this miserable place. She opened the palm of her hand, saw the crackle of stardust violet shift into metallic sand, and the corners of her lips twitched triumphantly.\n\n\"We need to talk, Lessie.\"\n\nHer triumphant smirk withered instantly. Facing the lawn, a vortex of meteor gold crackled quietly to life. Despite the late night darkness, the gold essence shined brightly, and she hissed, realizing what this meant. Someone could be alerted. Someone could call the cops. She had an exam on Tuesday. Walking to the door, she answered and let him inside, relieved he hadn't gone off on a tangent. Stiffening her shoulders, she watched as he surveyed the living room, strutting near the walls, brushing his concealed fingers over the frame photographs. The body. He stopped, sighed deeply, hanging his head low, and when he looked back at her, she was proud she didn't feel the tiniest twinge of regret or shame. \n\n\"You're welcome.\"\n\n\"What?\"\n\n\"You are welcome.\" She shrugged indifferently, \"I helped you in more ways than one. Now you and your little group can skip the arbitrary documentation and bureaucratic process.\"\n\nHis shook his head, \"You don't get it, do you,\" her pearl white teeth shone brightly, \"we're not judge and jury, Alessandra.\"\n\nHer full name was a rarity even during times like these, \"Trust me, I did this because I wanted to. She had something of importance, and she didn't want to hand it over. Her obstinacy is what got her killed.\"\n\nHer words pained him more than he ever knew or would accept, and she chuckled in disgust, head pulled back as dark hair rippled over her shoulder, \"Don't tell me I've hurt your feelings, Daddy. You knew this was going to happen, you knew where this was going, and you did nothing -- nothing to stop it.\"\n\nHe was that kind of man. He drank and partied and had fun until it was no longer an option, when forces within his control removed it as an option. She hated the wounded expression in his eyes, was revolted by the shame he carried. And yet, he wouldn't say it aloud, would he? He'd never admit his wrongdoings. It took a near death experience for him to return to the lab, but by then, it was too late. She had already gotten into his old spell books, , and she marveled at the refined, lethal beauty contained on each page. \n\nThey treated her more kindly, more lovingly than he ever did.\n\n\"This is not what we wanted for you.\"\n\n\"You don't have a choice anymore.\" She smacked her lips and sat on the dead woman's lap, \"She certainly doesn't,\" she bopped her nose playfully, \"it's been fun talking to you, Pops, but I have a few dimensions to conquer, okay? Don't wait up, I won't be home for Christmas.\"\n\nShe, the woman, and the metallic sand procured from her soul was sucked into a portal. She saw his hand reach for her, heard him call her name in fright (or concern?), and felt nothing, no, not nothing, an absence. An emptiness filled her chest cavity, and she spun back as she and the body were parted. Suspended in time she would remain. Good. It was what she deserved. \n\n\"Did you hear 'bout Dr. Emily Calhoun?\"\n\n\"Who?\"\n\nHer suite mate took a bite of apple, \"Some physicist from Arizona, went missing a few weeks ago.\"\n\n\"Shame.\" She spooned her cereal bowl, \"Any suspects?\"\n\n\"Not at the moment, no, but someone said there was a terrible fog that morning, worst one in seventy-five years.\"\n\n\"Y'think Dr. Anomaly will be able to solve it,\" she asked. \n\n\"I don't know.\" Grabbing her school bag, Alessandra dumped the empty bowl into the sink, \"One missing woman won't worry him. He has bigger problems to worry about.\"\n", "“David, I can’t believe it… you were Night Shadow this entire time?”\n\n\nDavid, better known to the citizens of New York as the villain Night Shadow, gulped, fighting down the surge of emotions that threatened to well up inside him. Fear at his parents’ retribution- fear that this had been nothing but a mistake. Smug pride that he had been able to foil his parents so utterly over the past three months and outwit them at every turn. Sinking regret at hurting either of them. \n\n\nA sneer of sadistic glee formed at his lips as he took in the shocked faces of his parents, John and Katherine Finch- Captain Justice and Shining Light to the rest of the world. He had not really wanted to become a villain- he needed to. He needed to teach his parents that everything was not always about them. That he had thoughts, dreams, hopes, and aspirations too. That if they wanted to pay more attention to their jobs as superheroes than their own son, he was perfectly willing to make interacting with himself part of their jobs.\n\n\nDavid’s voice was laced with venom when he spoke, barking mockingly, “That’s right, and you two never even realized it! Too absorbed in your own self-righteous little words to even notice!”\n\n\nHis mother, Shining Light, covered her mouth, tears brimming in her eyes. His father, Captain Justice, put a hand to his forehead, reeling at the news, “Son, that’s…”\n\n\nThe teenaged terror pressed the verbal attack, outrage fueling his need to hurt his parents as much as he could, “Do you know why I did it? Do you-“\n\n\n“That’s fantastic!”\n\n\nDavid’s voice caught in his throat, eyes widening as his father’s shocked face twisted into a smile that split his face from ear to ear. He turned to his wife and grabbed her by her upper arms, shaking gently, “This is amazing backstory for us, Kathy! Our own son turned to crime- what a test of our character!”\n\n\nHis mother pulled her hand down from her face to clasp her hands over her heart, revealing the warm, motherly smile she had been hiding, “This might be what it takes to make us A-Listers… Oh, David, I’m so happy you were willing to do this for us…”\n\n\nThe villain Night Shadow’s voice cracked, tears brimming in his own eyes, “What?! I didn’t do this for you… Why aren’t you mad? Or sad?! Anything but happy! I did this because you two are always focused on being heroes and don’t give a shit about me! Not so you could get more popular!”\n\n\nCaptain Justice turned back to his son, speaking with a knowing smile, “Now, now, son, save the exposition for when the reporters are present. This is good material; you don’t want to waste it when nobody is around to hear it!”\n\n\nDavid turned on his heel sprinting away from his parents to his final safe haven- the attic bedroom they’d finally allowed him to have. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he looked back at them over his shoulder, “I hate you! I hate you both!”\n\n\nThe sound of a door slamming rang out in the distance. Captain Justice turned to Shining Light, “We sure are lucky to have a boy as thoughtful as David, aren’t we Kathy?”\n\n\nHis wife smiled up to him, standing on her toes to peck him on the lips before settling back down onto her heels, “We sure are, John. We sure are.”", "High school. I had always envisioned high school as this meat grinder. A freeze-dried \"coming of age\" scenario ripped straight out of every teen drama or made-for-tv movie that I'd ever seen. However, despite my wildest preconceptions, high school wasn't bad at all. No one ever bothered me, I never made enemies with the cheerleading captain, I never had to deal with bullies, or annoying creeps, and I always had a steady supply of friends. Everyone wanted to be my friend. Why? Certainly not because they were interested in me. More likely, because they were interested in who I was. \n\nYou might have heard of Captain Positive. By the time that you'd be reading this, the name \"Captain Positive\" will have been known across every country throughout the entire world. He was known as \"the optimist.\" He was first recognized for being an excellent police negotiator. He's talked people out of committing suicide, then he negotiated with terrorists and was able to free an entire boatload of hostages, and things finally became serious when he was able to broker the complete peace between the soon-to-be warring nations, the US and Russia. People don't know if his methods are natural, or if he uses some kind of magic, or some strange psychological ability that scientists haven't pin pointed yet. He speaks normally and uses words than anyone else can use. There isn't anything special about his mannerisms or the way he presents himself. But when he talks, people listen. Period. Every culture on this planet knows him as a savior. The truth of the matter is that he's the closest thing to a superhero that planet earth has. and he's also my father.\n\nMom loves him, Toby loves him. My boyfriend even loves him, but how couldn't they? It's not like they had a choice. He's the most optimistic person you'll ever meet and if his personality doesn't win you over, then his \"abilities\" will. And that's where my problem comes in. Who REALLY is he? What is he?! Is he a supportive father? A loving guardian? or is he a freak who mind controls people. Has he managed to get everyone to sing to his tune, has he effectively taken control of the human race?\n\nEveryone except for me, his own daughter. I've never found myself to be compelled by what he says. I've always found him to be narcissistic and embarrassing. Like he's this guy who understand's everyone's problem, and is capable of helping EVERYONE. How pretentious. I open up Youtube and I see a video of him shaking the hand of the Russian president and smiling, like he's just saved the world from some nuclear holocaust. Please.\n\nCall me negative. Go ahead. Even he noticed the way that I was acting. He noticed that I didn't dance to his tune like everyone else. But what's even worse about all of this. The straw that reaaaally broke the camel's back for me, was that he had the heart to encourage me to be my own person, to live by my own ideals and beliefs, regardless of what everyone else thought of him. If I hated him, then so be it. He was my father and he accepted it. \n\nI still remember that day, the day that I decided to kill Captain Positive. He politely asked if he could drop Toby and I off at school. I knew immediately that he and I were going to have one of our little \"chats\", the kind that no other human being can have with him. The kind where both people in the conversation actually have free-will. \n\n\"Nancy, I know that you don't... enjoy what i do for a living. I know you think i'm fake or perhaps, you dislike the way that people treat us now because of who i am. But just look around us. Look at how life has changed since people started listening to me. Crime, murders, war... these things no longer exist. How can that be a bad thing. Look, I'm not asking you be like everyone else. You can hate me, it's okay. You're still young. \n\nAt the end of the day, I have an obligation to take care of these people. If I can keep them from hurting themselves, or from doing things that might hurt others, then I have no choice but to lead them.\n\nI love you Nancy, you know that. However you feel, just know, that I'm here for you. I'll always be in your corner, cupcake.\"\n\n- Nancy 4/9/2018\n ", "\"Terry, we need to talk.\"\n\n\nI knew that voice. Any other human being would be overjoyed to hear that voice. I heard it every single day of my lamentable persistence. It was the voice of Commander Justice, the red and blue patriot. There was no hero quite like him, no human came even close. The paragon of integrity, the pinnacle of truth.\n\n\nAnd my father.\n\n\nI dumped my bag by the door as he sat there, ominously framed by the entryway to the family dining room. Our house was never a striking one- it had two floor, a spacious basement, and an underground lair that I was repeatedly told never to enter. Of course, I have my own lair.\n\n\nIts... a fixer upper. In the shed. Behind the house.\n\n\nI trudged through the hall, my mouth pursed to a slanted pout as I dragged my feet across the tiled floor. This was not my first pow wow with the worst dad in all the 84 multiverses. And after my long weekend, I would not be surprised if this became a daily thing.\n\n\nFor over the weekend, the SuperHacker TabLord had taken his name and plastered it on every atm in the United States... at least the ones that were operated by a specific credit agency that had a surreptitious backdoor that just BEGGED me to tear it open.\n\n\nWait, is that gay? Shit, I don't wanna sound gay- I'm not gay. I swear. My closet is full of porn. Not even my dad's x-ray vision could pierce the cavalcade of and T & A in my closet.\n\n\nANYWAYS, I fell upon my chair, adopting my patented \"fuck off dad\" face. Each of my friends had one. We practiced with each other quite a bit inbetween classes we rarely attended. It was good for report card days, and had served me well all through middle school. My dad crossed his arms, his arms of steel resting against that billboard of a chest.\n\n\n\"Terry, how much did you make last night?\"\n\n\nI did not respond. Of course I wouldn't respond. I had no earthly clue what he was talking about.\n\n\n\"Terry, come on. Talk to me here.\"\n\n\n\"I made uh... 30? Off Adrien...\"\n\n\n\"I don't care how much you extorted off that jock. I want to kno-\" the man paused. He looked to my right. Right to his true love, his one real lady. The Bourbon on the counter sat there, glistening beneath the light. Oh how intimate their relationship.\n\n\n\"Ok, fine, fine,\" the man said. \"Tablord,\" he said, staring me down. Finally, I could experience it- the terror that filled any villain to confront Commander Justice, conqueror of all evils. \"How much did you make from hacking TotalFax last night?\"\n\n\nI began to laugh, an evil, terrible laugh. For it was I, Tablord that-\n\n\nI devolved into a coughing fit. Evil laughs are hard. And they actually sound awful with your voice cracking. My dad poured me a cup of water, and patted my back as I hacked my way through it.\n\n\n\"Deeper breaths son, you gotta laugh from the gut,\" he advised me as I gulped it all down.\n\n\nHe resumed his seat. After a minute, I twisted to him, and resumed my EPIC monologue!\n\n\n\"YES, COMMANDER JUS-\"' I looked to the clock. Ok it was seven- nobody could complain about the noise. \"YES, COMMANDER JUSTICE, IT IS I, TABLORD! RULER OF CYBERSPACE!\"\n\n\n\"Terry, look, I get that you're a villain, but is the monologue necessary?\"\n\n\n\"I mean,\" I paused. WAS this necessary? \"I can give you the CliffNotes.\"\n\n\nI mean, he knew what CliffNotes were, right?\n\n\nOh good, he's nodding. He's not as ancient as I feared.\n\n\n\"Alright, I'll just skip through the notes,\" I pulled out the cue card I had practiced during my bus ride home.\n\n\"Ok, so...\nI am Tablord\nI robbed the United Bank\nTo do this, I used the VPN an rerouted all traffic through a server in Bosnia\nI had to obscure this IP several times to through off Dad's computer-savvy partner, Dendrite.\nI used that confusion to access a back door in a Credit Agency\nYou'll never find the money\nIts in fifty different accounts\n\n\n\"You get all that?\"\n\n\nMy dad stared back at me, completely lost. Dendrite would get it- she kept with these things. She was a blast to have over for dinner, though her kids were... less keen on the cool things. They were into League of Justice.\n\n\n\"Um... so... how much did YOU make exactly?\"\n\n\n\"Dad, I have fifty different accounts under 50 different names, and I funneled nearly 75 million dollars into them.\"\n\n\n\"Ok, but... how do you... get... the money?\"\n\n\nI groaned. I walked up to the fridge and took out the expo marker off the side, quickly drawing a chart on the aluminium door. \"Ok, so, I have a fake name, that I used to open an account in sweden,\" I started drawing circles. \"I can access that account via wire transfer- that's how I got the money,\" I draw arrows to communicate the money going in and out. \n\n\nI turned to find my dad sitting there with his smartphone in hand.\n\n\n\"Are you recording this?\" I asked him.\n\n\n\"... Maybe?\" the Commander said.\n\n\n\"Dad, what the f-\"\n\n\n\"Terrrryyyyy?\" I fished my hand into my pocket and fed the swear jar a single fuck.\n\n\n\"Ok, dad, what the HIFL are you doing?\" \n\n\n\"... I'm curious,\" the man said. I'm very glad I did not learn how to lie from him, because his enter face scrunches when he spits out a blatant misrepresentation of the facts.\n\n\n\"Dad.\"\n\n\n\"Look,\" the man said, putting down his phone. \"How much did you make last night?\"\n\n\n\"... 75 million dollars.\"\n\n\n\"And who did you steal it from?\"\n\n\n\"I mean... I just still a thousand from a bunch of accounts, and a million from the CEO's personal checking account. Made it seem like a purchase in their internal systems.\"\n\n\n\"... I want in.\"\n\n\n\"... What?\"", "5 buildings have gone down in my name. \n\nThe news outlets have named me 'Firestarter' but I think its lame. \n\nI'd like to say they went down with people in them, but I still don't think I can bring myself to actually kill* anyone. I guess at the core, I'm only just trying to get back at my mum. She's got this idea in her head that I'm going to follow her footsteps and become the city's greatest hero. I don't want to. Hero work is shit. I can't count the number of PTA meetings she's missed, or the plays she's been invited too and she didn't show. \n\nI mean, the constant embarrassment of having a parent that is never there is something I can't live down because some douchebag in class will bring it up just to be mean. At first, I had defended with \"she's a lawyer so she's always busy\" but that never worked. Even went as far as using the truth but it only made ridicule worse. \n\nI mean, why would a class of stupid highschoolers believe the goth looking chubby chick with slight BO have the greatest superhero the city has ever known as a mother. I know I wouldn't believe it. But here I am. \n\nI remember when I got my powers. I had gotten into an argument with my mum and in the midst of a shouting match with her, my hands lit up. Fire. She was immediately estactic. I wasn't. All my weekends of staying home or going to some darkhouse party stopped and everything became \"superhero\" practice. Gosh, I hate it. The fact that she thinks I want to be what she is. A slave to the people. An absentee person to everyone else in real life. The more she pushed for it, the more I pushed away. \n\nSo much so, I decided I'd spite her and become a villain. \n\nBut I still can't kill anyone. \n\nShe figured it out after the 6th building went up in flames. It was the highschool. Someone had filled my locked with fish guts as a joke and I think I lost it. I don't know. I ran to the toilets to cry. And in the tears, my hands went up in flames and I think I just lashed out and burnt everything. Didn't even have time to put on the false make up I usually use along with the black hoodie I usually would wear. Still, ashes and lots of ashes later, I hear the sirens of the police coming. \n\nI think that's when I came out of my trance and hastily coloured my face with the ashes. Not that it made a difference. She recognised me as she hovered in the air above the burnt building. I had expected extreme disappointment followed by whatever beating I was going to get. Instead she flies in, pushes me out of sight into the shadows. \n\nThen she smiled and said the words I would never have expected, with tears in her eyes as her voice trembled with emotion... \n\n\"I am so proud of you, baby.\"\n\n---\n\nI've got more stuff on here /r/EvenAsIWrite :) \n\nCriticisms are forever welcome.", "“We support you.”\n\n“What?” Nightshade asked in numbed disbelief. His decision to reveal his evil nature to his parents was a war that he had prepared himself for both mentally and physically.\n\nHe had prepared for a fight and had gone over the conversation and ensuing battle in his head a thousand times; what he would say, what they would say and how he would be forced to destroy them both giving him not only the satisfaction in knowing that his decision was the right one, but a truly kick ass origin story to boot.\n \nThe only thing that he hadn’t considered or readied himself for was…their acceptance.\n\n“I said that we support you Champ.” His father, Captain Nitro repeated as he pulled his wife Lady Luck closer to him in a show of solidarity. “You’re almost a man now, and it’s high time that we started treating you like one.”\n\n“I’m serious.” Nightshade growled, clenching his hands into fists. Blackened crackles of raw energy rippled across his gloves and arced across his body. His suit was new, a purple and ebony mesh of spikes and pads that reflected his true persona, designed not only to withstand the occasional discharge of power, but to strike fear into the hearts of those who would dare stand against him.\n\n“We know.” His mother smiled patiently. “And we still love you. In fact, because we love you, we’ve decided…should we?” She paused as she looked to her husband, unsure as to how she should proceed.\n\nCaptain Nitro smiled and winked playfully before turning back to his son. “What your mother is trying to say is, well, we’re going to go evil as well.”\n\n“What?” Nightshade blinked, taken aback. \n\n“Well Brian-“\n\n“It’s NIGHTSHADE now.” He corrected, raising a crackling fist towards the kitchen ceiling in emphasis of his evil.\n\n“Oh! I love it!” Lady Luck cooed. “That’s so good. Isn’t that good honey?” She asked excitedly. “I could change my name too! How about Belladonna? Belladonna and Nightshade! Oh honey!” She bounced.\n\n“And I’ll become Lord Hemlock! We’re keeping it poisonous plant based right? We’ll need new outfits of course.” The superhero formerly known as Captain Nitro pointed out.\n\n“Something dark.” Belladonna agreed. “We could keep the purple and black as a theme and – leather. And a corset. I mean, I’ve got the girls, and if we’re going to be evil, I can be sexy evil right?” She asked, pushing her breasts up to mimic a corset’s lift.\n\n“MOM!” Nightshade objected, horrified.\n\n“Belladonna.” She corrected. “The dark seductress. Maybe I should get a whip?” She asked tentatively.\n\n“I think a whip would be amazing. And something slinky, that you could wear later.” Lord Hemlock grinned playfully.\n\n“DAD!” Nightshade objected.\n\n“Sorry son, but the thought of your mom in form fitting leather? Me-ow.” He laughed. “This is going to be great. I think that this shake up is just what this family needs.”\n\n“We should have done this sooner.” Belladonna agreed. “Oh! We could corrupt the Jeffersons. I bet Lilly would look amazing in spandex.”\n\n“And her name is already Lilly so-“\n\n“You know what? Forget it.” Nightshade sighed as the lightning that surrounded his body died in a fizzle of dejected sparks.” Removing the black skull half-mask that obscured the upper half of his face, his body slumped in disappointment.\n\n“Forget it?” His father frowned. “But what about our plans to become a family of super villains?”\n\n“You guys…you just. Guh. Just forget I said anything, okay?”\n\n“Nightshade-“ Belladonna started, only to be cut off by a half-hearted wave of a black gloved hand.\n\n“Electroboy. Just…call me Electroboy, okay?” He asked, turning away.\n\n“So we’re not going to turn evil then?” Lady Luck asked somewhat disappointed.\n\n“No. It…I was going to…no. Okay? Gods, you guys are so lame. I’m going back to my room.”\n\n“You sure Champ?” Captain Nitro asked. “We’re here for you if you change your mind again. I’ve got a leather guy, we can have your mother in high heels and tight pants by supper.”\n\n“Ugh.” Electroboy groaned as he stomped away. \n\n“Nightshade? Nightshade?” Lady Luck called after him, but the only response was the trail of heavy footfalls that ended in a slamming door.\n\nThe super parents turned to each other, their faces splitting in shared amusement.\n\n“Nightshade?” Captain Nitro asked.\n\n“Oh be nice.” Lady Luck chided. “Or do you not remember when you spent that summer as “Super Evil McDastardly?”\n\n“Okay, okay.” He conceded. “But I still say that you should look into the corset. And maybe the whip.”\n\n“Behave.”\n\n“And you know…corrupting Lilly might spice things up-“\n\n“You’re pushing your Luck.” Lady Luck warned, causing her husband to raise his hands in innocent surrender.\n\nAnd once again, the world was safe.\n\n\n\n", "######[](#dropcap)\n\nFusionman is my arch nemesis. He is also my dad. His real name is Bart J. Holcomb.\n\nMom died when I was six years old, leaving just me and my dad. My dad was already knee deep in the super hero thing by then, and suddenly he was also a single parent. \n\nYou may have met my dad. He's been all over the world, fighting evil, righting wrongs, helping to rebuild after major natural disasters. If you haven't met my dad, then you've definitely heard of him. \n\nHe was named Bart after my great great grandfather, Bartholomew Holcomb. Bartholomew was some kind of baron and slave owner - a real captain of industry type - and my grandmother apparently thought the world of him. But my dad always hated the name Bart - he hated the way it sounded, and the history of the scummy ancestor it came from. Moreover, my dad always felt he needed to make up for his family's sins - hence Fusionman.\n\nFusionman is the brain child of my dad's work at ITER and, later, with DARPA. He was the child genius who made sustainable, energy positive fusion possible. But for him, that wasn't enough - nothing ever was. My dad wanted to save the world directly, get out there and blow up the bad guys. \n\nSo, he built himself an arsenal, fueled by the fusion power he had made possible and then miniaturized, and then set out saving the world one person at a time. \n\nUnfortunately for me, I was not dad's top priority. To be honest, after my mother died, I probably saw less of him than before. I think it might be because I remind my dad of my mother. Whatever the reason, I went the next 12 years with an absentee father who, on the off chance he hung around for a few days, would just moralize at me incessantly. \n\nDuring my childhood I remember seeing dad on the news all the time. Fusionman saves Paris, Fusionman stops meteor, Fusionman defeats sea monster. All the while I would be at home with the nanny wondering when my dad would have time for me. When would Fusionman return to save his own daughter from crushing loneliness?\n\nI guess my opening line answers that question well enough - never. Dad never had time for me, only for every other person on the face of the Earth. Needless to say, I grew a bit sour about that, started to hold a grudge - against him, against everyone. \n\nI also inherited my dad's brain for engineering, and often broke into his lab while he was away and tinkered on his suits and vehicles, learning how he made them and, eventually, learning to make them myself. \n\nIt all came to a head on my 17th birthday. I'd been working on a suit of my own for over a year. I had all the same powers my dad had - flight, rockets, lasers, armor, the works. The only thing I hadn't done was paint it. I had two coats ready - one was a pink and white combo, the other a darker black and red. \n\nIn my head, I gave my dad an ultimatum, if he made it to my 17th birthday, even for a few minutes, then I would paint it pink and white and become Fusiongirl, and we could save the world together. \n\nBut if he didn't - if he missed it like he'd missed so many others, that would be it for me. I would paint the suit black and red and become Vengeance. \n\nTruth is, I really wanted him to come. I waited until midnight, until the last possible second, and only then did I call it. I found out later he was busy responding to an earthquake in Chile. \n\nI painted the suit that night and sent him an email the next morning, announcing my decision, and my rationale, excoriating Bart, Fusionman, my dad, for his lack of fatherly support, his failure of empathy, and for generally being a shitty parent. For all of these reasons, I said, I will become Vengeance.\n\nAnd you know the crazy thing - for the first time ever, he really heard me and responded. He understood my motivations and apologized for his failings as a father. He basically mea culpa'd me via email and then, at the end, said though he respected my decision, of course he would have to fight me, tooth and nail, if I persisted. As he said \"I may not always agree with you, I may not always like you, but I'll always love you.\"\n\nCan you believe that righteous bullshit? \n\nThat was three years ago, and now we fight every few months. When I see him, floating in mid air, weapons poised, I hardly even think of him as dad anymore. And he never calls me anything but Vengeance. \n\nSometimes I feel like he pulls his punches, but I never do. As far as I'm concerned, he isn't my father. I have no father. There is only Fusionman, my arch nemesis. \n\n\n*****\n\n##### For More Legends From The Multiverse\n\n##### r/LFTM", "Flight. Like an eagle, he soared, and pierced the air in front of him. He had total freedom; there was no weight that could hold him down, no chain that could keep him.\n\nStrength. Like... like an eagle, his entire body was filled with charisma, blood pumping through his writhing veins. It was like he'd gone from pimply loser to jacked overnight - but he'd already been fit. The difference was so bizarre he'd nearly fallen over trying to leave the house.\n\nAnd, of course, laser vision. The 'family heirloom', if you will. Although superhumans frequently found themselves with some mixture of flight and super-strength for their first two abilities, the third was always something a bit more unique - and often didn't manifest at all.\n\nHe was free. He was flying through the air, he didn't have a single problem in the world, and he was strong.\n\nBut it wouldn't last. His parents would wonder where he was, and he'd have to fly home, parade himself in front of them* for a while. And then he'd be locked up, not physically but metaphorically, inducted into their junior heroes program and made to bow and bend like his parents had.\n\nOr...\n\nAs the boy looked down at the city below him, he noticed a mugging taking place. Enhanced vision; not one of his main abilities, probably another part of his lineage. Some old lady had pulled a pistol out of her handbag and was gesturing at the boy that had helped her across the street.\n\nupside down\n\nHe flipped from the sky, going from a comfortable hover to a breathtaking dive in a quarter second. His thoughts and feelings fled him, for a moment there was only this, this beauty and wonder, and it was invigorat---- GROUND\n\nPOOM\n\nHe'd been falling for a long time. The grandmother was gone, teetering quickly down the sidewalk with her cane. The boy, wearing a Senior Super Scouts badge, was scratching his head and staring after her. \n\nHe turned to stare at the teenager that had just fallen out of the sky, who stared back, floating several inches off the ground.\n\nSilence.\n\nPOOM\n\nIt was too early. The world didn't make sense. He needed to - how had his father worded it?\n\n\"Boy, when I was a kid like you, I didn't do what my parents told me. Kid, your mother and I, we owned the skies. There wasn't a single super, hero or villain, that could have brought us down.\"\n\nHe couldn't be like his parents. He couldn't just follow in their footsteps, join the government, enjoy a cushy pension. There was more... more to life, than that.\n\nHe flew off.\n\n---\n\nTwo heroes sit in a cafe, but nobody recognizes him. There aren't many people in the cafe regardless: it's a bit run-down, and - of course - cafes have fallen by the wayside with the resurgence of fast food restaurants. \n\nThey watch the television in the corner and share a smoothie. On the screen, a boy wearing a villainous outfit is slicing through the defences of the city's heroes with brilliant red lasers. One dives him, and is quickly turned back by an kick to the face.\n\nThe man pulls a phone out of his pocket. It's been ringing for ten minutes straight, and the old man in the corner is starting to give them an angry look.\n\n\"Hello?\"\n\n...\n\n\"Jerry? My son, Jerry?\"\n\n...\n\n\"You must be mistaken. My kid's... er... doing homework. I'm watching him do it, too. Very interesting homework. Logalculus.\"\n\n...\n\n\"Are you insinuating that my Jerry would ever do something evil and villainous like that? Marcy, I'm appalled.\"\n\n...\n\n\"Please. It's clearly just... another kid with laser powers. They're getting more popular, you know. I think it's a fad.\"\n\n...\n\n\"Well, thanks for your concern, Marcy.\"\n\n...\n\n\"Please, my ears, they can't quite take this. I'm getting old, you know.\"\n\n...\n\n\"Why don't you call back when you're ... calmer, Marcy? I'm... watching... soaps.\"\n\n...\n\n\"I've always loved watching soaps. Just me, the wife, and our wonderful kid Jerry doing his... arithmetic.\"\n\n...\n\n\nclick\n\n\"Oooh!\" The woman jumps a little bit in her seat, clapping.\n\n\"Huh? What happened, honey?\"\n\n\"He just took out Dowry.\"\n\n\"Ah! Jerk had it coming. You go, kid!\"\n\n^^^^^r/forricide" ]	8
	[WP] The world is like our own but technology never developed. Magic runs everything from batteries to space launches. Today the government found out magic is starting to fade.	[ "\"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch what you just said\", Lord Romulus said, leaning over the table he sat on with the other Elders.\n\nMarlon cleared his throat and spoke louder. \n\n\"Sirs, Madams... Our Magic, our Magical supply is... fading\"\n\nThe gasp in the room sounded louder as if echoed by the other 16 bodies that were in the room. Marlon straigthened his tie looked at his hands. It was shaking. It hadn't been the kind of news he had wanted to say to the Council of Elders but unfortunately for him, this was it. This was his moment, albeit not the one he was working towards. In a dream, he had been presenting a new idea of magical re-use, to create an effective system to keep magic from being wasted or lost into the environment via aural conversion. That dream was effectively dead. He hadn't quite worked out the kinks in the theory yet, not to even talk about the practicality of it. \n\nHe cleared his throat above the panicked hubbub of the Elders throwing different questions at him.\n\n\"So explain to me, Minister... How in the world is Magic fading?\" Lady Septima asked after calming the crowd. Even though the question was simple, Marlon could feel the rage in her voice. \n\n\"Magic comes from the Earth, from Gaia, as we all know. And for years now, we have pulled directly from her core without giving her time to replenish herself. Now, while her reserves are deep and we can still maintain the amount of ether we currently use, we recorded a drop in potency over the last couple weeks. We had ruled it out as a...as a... slight defect until yesterday when we recorded a...\" \n\nMarlon cleared his throat before continuing, a little louder. \n\n\"...when we recorded a drop in Ether production by 15%\", he finished sneaking a look at his audience. \n\nThe reveal was met with a silence so heavy it almost brought Marlon to his knees. \n\n\"...and when do you estimate we might run out...?\" Lady Septima whispered, as she gripped the table tightly.\n\n\"... based on current calculations. We don't know. But the drop is sharp enough, we have no choice but to believe it will end in a few months...\" Marlon replied in a low voice. \n\nThe room broke into a loud wail as the Elders absorbed the news. \n\nThe Council of Elders were formed by the 7 magical cities of the world. While each city had their ruling structure usually different to one another, the Council dealt with the main issues synonymous with all cities. They created the ruling stance on which magic was permissible for citizens and the forbidden sect of magic which could only be performed by the highest of Mages. They also presided over issues concerning Ether Production, Ether Distribution and the imprisonment and trial of criminals who had been convicted with the improper use act. \n\nBecause of their stations, the public generally took them to be the elite of elites, and attributed them with being stubborn and condescending to their fellow man, unless conversing with someone of a similar status to them. They seldom took well to being disrespected and as a result, even the news scribes rarely criticized anything they did. \n\nIn their day to day activities, they usually looked dignified, their faces lifted high as if to avoid looking at anyone and anything below them but today, Marlon saw different. He saw anguish painted on the faces of the Elders who governed the world and he shook in his boots. He hadn't told them the worst of it and he wasn't sure if he wanted to. \n\nThe Ministry of Etherial Disposition was one of the many ministries who answered directly to the Council. And even as he stood in the middle of the council hall, he knew that his Ministry was done for. When he and his colleagues had looked into it and the recordings, what they had found had depressed them beyond compare. Heck, Lajac had taken his life over it. Marlon would be in mourning but someone had to inform the Elders. \n\nHence the private meeting in the middle of the day. \n\nThe wail continued and Marlon felt like he should join in. But he couldn't. He remained rooted in his spot as he contemplated what he could tell them to lift their spirits up but he had nothing. He had inklings of ideas but nothing solid enough to save the world. The wails grew louder and he could hear several elders sobbing. \n\nIn despair, Marlon shouted out as he remembered something someone told him years back.\n\n\"There might be something...\"\n\nNo one heard so he increased his voice a bit louder...\n\n\"There might be a way out of this... I think...\" \n\nthat calmed the room a bit. One of the Elders sitting to his right, asked the question he was still struggling to find a strong answer to.\n\n\"What is it? What is the possible solution, Minister Marlon?\" Lord Cragias asked fiercely.\n\nMarlon steeled himself and then he opened his mouth to speak.\n\n---\n\nMore of my stuff is on here /r/EvenAsIWrite" ]	1
	[WP] There's a serial killer loose in town, you decide it is the perfect opportunity to kill your own enemies and let the killer take the blame.	[ "\"For those of you who are tuning in right now, 15 people have been killed in the latest mass stabbing by the serial killer dubbed 'The Protector'. The images are graphic so viewer discretion is advised. The bodies have been strung up and symbo-\", I flicked off the TV. That blonde reporter has always been eye candy but something was even more appealing. A single thought, an idea that traveled to the forefront of my brain, even in front of the imagined scenes of eroticism that involved Mrs. Blondy. \nThe Protector, it had a nice ring to it. Inspired a bit of fear. It made you think that this guy had just the right amount of crazy in him. I liked it. I could use it. Abuse it. Cultivate it to be the answer to this endearing issue I have been struggling with.\n\nI rolled out of bed and picked up the half burnt cigar from last night. I stumbled over to my laptop in the corner of the room. I opened it up and turned it on and for just a half-second I saw my reflection. I needed a shave. I got to the home screen and navigated myself to Google. Ah Google, the best thing mankind has ever dreamed up, the ultimate tool to find pornography beyond anyone's imagination. But today I had a different reason than having my eyes partake in the glory of \"beautiful busty red heads\". I had to know something. Something of urgency, of importance. How did The Protector kill?\n\n896,000 results in .49 seconds. Ok Google, I thought as I clicked on the images tab, show me this guy's style. If I was going to be a copycat I had to at least know how this guy did the deed. Google answered me with hundreds of images of bloody scenes with bodies strewn about. Well this guy was not neat that's for sure. I began to peruse down the gory collage when I noticed something. I couldn't believe that I was so blind to have needed 10 images to see something so obvious. In every single scene the words \"Miserere Nobis\" were spelled out in blood on the wall along with some satanic demon circle that looked like it had some writing in it. This is exactly what I was looking for. Now I could kill that slimy bastard and go on scott-free afterwords. I sat still in my chair for a few moments as I thought. Then I decided that I would do it today, what the hell. \n\nAfter a quick shower and some eggs I put on my boots and grabbed my switchblade. I examined it and thought, I knew I would have a use for this someday. I got in my car and punched in the address in my GPS. 60185 Willow Dr. That's where that fucking bastard lived. \n\nI sped through the freeway and finally arrived at his house after a 15 minute drive. It was Sunday so I knew the fucker would be at home with her. First he took my job, then he took the only love I ever had. They would both pay for it. Atone for their sins. I pulled up into the driveway as quietly as I could. It was 8 am so I was hoping that they were still asleep. We used to be friends me and him, really good friends. I still knew where he kept the spare key. Sliding the key in the front door had a special feeling to it. Click, the sound was orgasmic. I entered the house and tiptoed past the welcome mat. I peeped a pair of black dress shoes next to a red pair of heels. She only wears those when shes really feeling wild. I felt that inner caveman rage welling up inside me. It grew more and more as I creeper up the stairs until suddenly it was gone. Entirely replaced with happiness. I get to kill them today. A wide grin spread across my face. I could hear him snore. Each step I took towards that brown door let off a quit creak of the wooden floor. Music to my ears. As I turned the knob and pushed forward I heard a quiet squeak. Just loud enough to barely register to my ears above the screaming chorus in my head. Door wide open I stand before them. Asleep and happy. Smiles on both of their faces. Snuggled so close together it almost warmed my heart. But something was going to make my heart even warmer. The shiny piece of steel in my hand. The blade that was just begging to taste their warm blood. With one quick flip I unsheathed it to witness its meal. I guess we should start with the appetizer. I crawled up on the bed, right over him. My shadow blocked out the sun that peaked out of the curtains. I drew my knife up to the left edge of his neck and with one slice I painted the bed red. Blood spewed up into my face. It was, euphoric. \n\nThe sound of spurting blood must not have fit her narrative because when she opened her eyes it was followed by a ear piercing shriek. My focus immediately turned to the source of the shriek. It's time for the main course. I plunged my blade right down into that whore's heart. I brought it up and down for another wound. They say practice makes perfect and after stabbing that sluts body 20 times I feel like an expert. \n\nNow all that was left was for me to cover my tracks. Miserere Nobis and something else. That's what I needed to draw. My heart was racing as I dipped my fingers in their blood. As I drew the s in Nobis I realized that I forgot what the symbol looked like. I guess taking the lives of the people you hate the most interferes with your memory. I grabbed my phone and looked up \"evil symbols\" and looked for one that looked like the one The Protector drew. After finding one and marking up the walls, I sat back to admire my work.\n\nSuddenly I heard him. I knew who he was. The Protector. Something in my body screamed his identity to me. His voice rang out as clear as if he was near me. I whipped around and saw no one. I was alone. Then what he was yelling finally registered. \"YOU FOOL. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?\". I was confused, I had no idea what he was talking about. I said, \"What are you talking about?\". He only whispered back, \"miserere nobis\". I started to yell out for him. What did I do? How could I hear him? I needed to know.\nAs I got up a blinding light flashed behind me. I turned around to see the wall where I drew the symbol to be glowing. The symbol specifically was shimmering a deep blue.\nI fell to my knees. I heard its voice. I knew what I had done. It was old. Tears streamed down my face. May he have mercy.", "“Come on babe, you’ll look so hot...er classy. So classy” Ben said, holding out the box of hair dye up to my head. Mentally comparing me to the air brushed model on the box.\n\n“Brown? Do you know what it would take to lighten my hair back if I decided to go brunette?” I swat at his bulky hand. \n\n“But don’t you want to compare, see who really has more fun?” He cocks his head to the left, batting his eyelashes and jutting his lower lip out in what I’m sure would have been an adorable pout had it not come from a 6’5” man-beast. \n“Just try it. For me?” \n\nI think for a second, roll my eyes and grab the box out of his hand. \n\nAs we head to the checkout Ben takes a little detour. I don’t notice where he is headed. The two elderly women in front of me are talking in eager, hushed tones, pointing to the copy of the town’s newspaper. I try to subtlety lean in closer to get a better listen. \n\n“...this week alone Rose. Two . This used to be such a quiet town.” One woman shakes her head. \n\n“I’ve been telling Nat that she needs to be minding the curfew. You know she went to school with this last one here.” The other woman replies. \n\nShe points at the girl on the cover. I look at the face of Sadie Warner. \n\nSadie is one of our towns latest victims. Pretty girl. The newspaper had printed her senior photo. Her big eyes glare at the camera. She has a big smile plastered on her pale face. A thin arm wraps around long legs. Her curly hair is being blown off her face by a light breeze and the black and white effect hides it’s rich, chestnut color. \nSadie was only a year behind me in school. She would be graduating in a month, along with many of the other victims. It seems like the number of people who will be crossing the stage gets smaller, as the memorial slideshow gets hideously long. \n\n“God what’s taking so long” Ben whines, suddenly appearing beside me, making me gasp. “Jeez what’s up jumpy?” He laughs. \n\n“I was just spacing out. Where’d you go?” I ask. \n\n“I was looking for something, but they didn’t have it.” I decide not to get to the bottom of this vague response. More than likely they were out of gummy worms and he knows I disapprove of his sugar habits. I try to listen back to the women, but they’ve moved on to some type of hot button garden debate. \n\nWe pull up to our apartment building only 15 minutes later. I step out of the car and feel the beginning of summer winds. It’s only May, but the weather gets warmer and warmer each day. I hear children playing in the distance. The sun will set soon and the police will begin their street patrol. No one else will be on the street, except the occasional rebellious teens whose sense of invincibility outweighs their common sense. The lucky ones are picked up by the police and detained for the evening. \n\nBen holds the front door open. Luckily we live on the first floor so we only have to walk up 26 stairs and walk 12 steps to get to our door marked 104. Ben takes off his coat, and flicks on the tv for noise without the intention of watching it. It drives me a little nuts that he always has to have sound playing in the background of his life. I’ve always enjoyed some peace and quiet. But it’s the price you pay to live with the love of your life I suppose. \n\n“I’m going to lay down for a bit babe. Might meet up with Jack and Nick later.” He yells to me from our bedroom. \n\nI don’t bother responding. I instead walk into the bathroom with my box of hair dye. I read the instructions and try to follow along. As I let the dye sink in I go and sit in the living room. A stern faced reporter walks around and empty street. \n\n“I’m here on Landsdowne Boulevard where latest victims of the West Breaker Killer, Sadie Warner and Alec Ryan, were last seen alive. \n\nThe screen flashes to two couples, likely in their mid-forties, stand. The women are fighting tears and one of the men is speaking into a microphone. \n\n“Sadie and Alec were great kids. They were both going to college next year and had incredibly bright futures. Our Sadie was so happy to be with Alec for the past few months. We liked him so much. The monster who did this- who stole the lives of these wonderful kids- I don’t understand how this continues to happen. Keep an eye on your kids, please.” He chokes up at the end. \n\nBack to the reporter. \n“Chief Michaels of the WBPD spoke at a press conference earlier today, and reminded parents to keep their children in the home from sundown to sunrise, per the town’s curfew. Most of these murders have happened within yards of the victim’s home. With channel 8 news, this is Susan Rhett.”\n\nSome commercial for shower cleaner comes on and I start wondering how much time is left until I can wash out the dye. My eyes are starting to burn. I hear a phone ringing. It’s coming from Ben’s jacket so I check it for him in case it’s Jack telling him where and when to meet up tonight. The screen lights up “Becca Office”. I open it and met with a nude photo of a girl I’ve never seen before. Her long brown hair draped over her breasts, very tastefully. \n\nIn the bathroom a timer goes off. I quickly stash Ben’s phone back in his coat pocket and take a shower to rinse the dye. \n————————————————————————\n\n“Ben wake up sweetie.” I whisper in his ear. “I think I hear something outside.”\n\n“Huh what-what time is it?” Ben groans, still half asleep and groggy. \n\n“7 I think. It’s dark, I thought I saw someone outside looking at our window. I’m scared Benny please do something. Can we go see?”\n\n\n Ben gets out of bed and throws on a shirt. “I don’t think you should come...” he starts. \n\n“I’m not letting you go out alone. It’s not safe.” I say. \n\nAs we walk outside I look at Ben. He is huge. Two average sized men would have a hard time picking a fight with him. I always felt very safe having a guy like that on my arm. \n\nIt’s dark outside. The police already did their first sweep of the night. They won’t be by our street for another 90 minutes or so. \n\n“I think it came from the alley” I tell Ben. He goes toward the side alley next to the abandoned store, out of view of our apartment. \n\n“I don’t think there’s anyone here, babe.” He says as he wanders further into the darkness. “I think this murderer has everyone in town all paranoid. It was probably just some kind of anima-ah!” \n\nHe is stopped mid-sentence by my knife entering his left thigh. I pull it out and he drops to the ground. He is a little shorter than me now. I look down at him and give him a little grin. He looks up in terror. \n\n“Why?” He chokes out through gritted teeth. \n\n“Did you really think I would never find out about your little skank? God you’re dumber than you look. You really are.” \n\n“She means nothing babe please” \n\n“Shut up!” I hiss at him. I run the knife along his throat, gently, not even drawing blood. Then I quickly slash myself along the torso. He looks confused. \n\n“He always attacks couples.” I explain with a grin. \n\nI take turns with the slicing. One for me, a deeper one for him. Mine sting, but I don’t mind it so much. Anytime he tries to scream I put my knife back to his throat. \n\n“Shh baby,” I say. “Let’s enjoy our last night together.” \n\nAfter a few more minutes I give him deeper and deeper cuts. He’s starting to get a little dizzy from the blood loss. \n\nI need to finish up here. \n\nI give myself a deep gash where the shoulder meets the neck. Ben’s eyes get wide. \n\n“For all your stupidity, Benny darling, you were right about one thing.” I press the knife up against his throat, ready to end it. \n\n“Brunettes do have more fun.” \n", "\"The Hammer has been sighted in parts of the town,\" \nThe local reporter had announced with a frown, \n\"We have reports that seventeen are dead, downtown\" \nIt was then I thought to myself, what goes around must come around. \n\n&nbsp;\n\n\nSo I picked up the hammer, and broke down his door, \nI think he heard me coming, or my footsteps on the floor, \nLooked back at me with a twinkle in his eyes, the same smug grin he wore, \nAsked me with a drawl \"You lookin' for that whore?\" \n\n&nbsp;\n\n\nI stared at him with rage in my eyes, \nMoved quickly, gave him a surprise, \nA hammer in his head, almost half his size, \nAnd thus with a cry, a rapist dies. \n\n&nbsp;\n\n\n\"The hammer claimed another victim,\" \n\"Came to the house at night, we don't know why he picked him,\" \nI wondered if it was that easy to cheat the system, \nAnd began to name those who had done this to her, began to list 'em. \n\n&nbsp;\n\n\nPicked up the hammer, and took revenge against those that wronged her, \nI was unstoppable, even as an amateur saboteur, \nBut I knew that they had to die, because they had silenced her, \nAnd I knew to take them out, I needed to be the Silencer. \n\n----------\nStill new at this and pretty bad, but this is good practice! Thank you for the prompt. :)", "I guess a part of me knew this was coming. Years of bullying and name calling mustve caught up with me, or maybe I left my conscience in the janitor's closet the last time I was locked there- yesterday, that is. Maybe if I had more time to think about this I wouldve talked myself out, but whats done is done. It only took 24 hours to make a predator out of the prey, and a killer out of me.\n\n \n\n\nSuch a monumental thing in life, but it wasnt even remotely difficult. After all, bullies arent worth much without their gaggle of groupies. I knew his schedule by heart so that I could avoid him anyway I could, so I knew immidiately to wait hidden in the bushes behind the busstop Gus gets off at after his boxing lessons. A telling fact about the kind of person Gus is, is that he initially started taking this lessons for bragging rights. And boy, can he punch. He throws his entire weight of 5 foot 6 of protein shake and stollen lunch into it, and doesnt stop until he's exhausted. Good thing that I know how to take punches without falling down. Thanks for that, buddy.\n\n\n\nIn the end, all I have to do is to let him punch me a few times, then provoke him enough that he chases me into the nearby park thats all but abandoned this time of night. Easy to say, easy to do - there was something about my face that always pissed off Gus and its not like he needed encouragement to let it show. Once we were in the thick of the park, far from the jogging trails and surrounded by foliage from all sides, it was a matter of seconds. Who can throw punches against a hidden knife anyway? Not Gus, thats who.\n\n\n\n\nI will confess that I panicked once the fresh blood spilled on my hands. I fell to my knees right next to Gus, and did my best to suck breaths into my lungs around the invisible ball of guilt wedged in my throat. There were spots in my vission and sweat on my back, and when I came to, I was curled in on myself , smearing my face with drying blood. \n\n\n \nI grit my teeth and slapped sense into myself \"Get yourself together, Sam. C'mon, man, you know what to do\" . And I did. I pulled the knife from Gus's chest with a squelch and set to work. First, I sliced the corners of his mouth, elongating them into a grotesque smile, and reminding myself of every disgusting name that mouth has ever called me. Then I sliced off his left pinky and took his shoes off so I could slice the tendons behind his ankles. The killer did this so the victims wouldnt escape , but then again, he mutilated them before he killed them, and I had neither the heart, nor the time to do something like that. \n\n\n \n\nIn the end, Gus's elongated smile was a bit crooked, and the knife snagged at the bone when I was cutting the back of his foot, but noone in the town would mistake the Slicer's signature. Of course, I was careful to make sure Gus fitted the MO in the first place. Maybe me and him, whoever he is, are kinded souls I thought. Every victim up to now, every one out of previous 12 victims, was aged from late teen to young adult and had a history of violence - Im still surprised I had 5o kill Gus myself. I hoped there was enough circumstancial evidence to shift the blame entirely on the Slicer, and left him there to rot, throwing my knife into a trash can on the way home. \n\n\n\nNeither my parents nor my sister questioned my appearance. They knew I was being bullied, so when I stepped in with a wince and a blooming mark on my collarbone, Mom made a heartbroken sound and came to give me a hug, while my sister busied herself with getting me an ice-pack. I endured an evening of coddling with growing anxiety, and if anyone was annoyed by me tapping my foot, then they chose to not say anything. Just before sleep, Dad pulled me aside to shoot me stern looks to convince me to tell him who did this to me, but I remained tightlipped as ever. 'Don't worry, Dad. He's not going to hurt me anymore' I thought, as I brushed my teeth. My collarbone itched where my sister spread that weird plant based cream that she kept in stock these days and my hands shook as I pulled the duvet over my head.\n\n\n\nI slept well that night.\n\n\n\n\nI woke up to Mom hovering in the doorway. \"Good morning, Sweetheart\" is what I though she would say, but what she actually said was \" There are some people here that want to talk to you\".\n\n \n\n\nIt took 24 hours to make a killer out of me. It took even less for the authorities to find the one responsible.\n\n \n\n\nWhen I arrived downstairs, gripping the stairs so that my shaking knees wont betray me, the cops were talking to Dad. There were two of them, in matching uniforms, taking turns to bombard Dad with questions. Dad's voice was as calm it could be, but there was a vein jumping in his neck and his hands were twitching like he would like nothing more than to wrap them around someone's neck. On the little coffe table behind them, just barely visible from were I stand half-hidden, are photographs. Spread so each of them is visible, they take up the entire table - way too many to be just Gus. Againt the shine of the glossy surfaces, I catch a collage of bleached blonde hair, tattos, piercings, leather jackets, and gruesome, bloody smiles. In the corner closest to me is Gus. His crooked grin is mocking me beyond the grave, but I cant find it in myself to feel anything but horror. \n\n\n\n13 people -13 victims.\n\n\n\n'If they know that Im the one who killed Gus, then they must think I killed all those other people, too. They must think Im the Slicer' passes through my mind as I lock my knees to keep from tumbling down the last few stairs. My mind is a jumble of fear, half-formed thoughts and 'congradulations, you played yourself' and I can feel beads of sweat rolling down my face , but my hands feel too heavy to wipe them off. \n\n\n\nThrough my panic, I hear the soft pit-pat of my sister tiptoeing down with socked feet. She takes one look at me than the cops, and I think it clicks for her, because she pales and yanks at my arm. \"Whats going on?\" She hisses under my ear, barely tall enough to reach it despite being 2 years older than me. I open my mouth to tell her to \"Shut up, Jessie\" but one of the cops must hear us, because she looks up and spots us lurking in the shadows.\n\n\n\n\"There you are, Mr. Helsey. We'd like to have a word with you\" She says with false civility, as Dad bristles and her partner steps in front of him to posture. I shake off Jessie's death grip on my arm and approach them, letting them shove their badges in my face and trying not to bolt in fear. I look guilty, I know I do ; im pale and sweaty, with a bruised cheek and banged up collarbones, like I just came out of a fight, and on top of everything im sure im shaking too hard for them not to notice.\n\n\n\nLike a good, well-mannered boy, I say \"Good morning\" and \"no problem\" and \"yes, of course I can answer some questions\". \" I was at home\" I say, and Dad tenses but doesnt rebuke me. \"I knew Gus, but none of the other victims, ma'am.\" I answer truthfuly. \"Im being bullied in school,sir\" I say, as the male cop points at my cheek. They trade glances, and pull a small, plastic bag. \"Its just a common kitchen knife\" I answer, peering inside with unfocused eyes, when they ask if I know what it is.\n\n \n\n\nI am arrested.\n\n \n\n\n13 counts of first degree murder. My lawyer tells me to confess, and I do - I tell them how I killed Gus, but also about how I didnt kill anyone else.\n\n\n\n\"The knife wounds on all 13 victims are a match to the kitchen knife that with your fingerprints. The evidence is conclusive.\" the prosecutor presses.\n\n\n\n\"I am innocent\" I insist.\n\n \n\n\nI am convicted. \n\n \n\n\nA life in prison without the possibility of parole. If I thought the beatings I endured from the hands of high schoolers were harsh, they were nothing compared to what the inmates put me through. I beg and I beg and my parents, desperate to believe that their son is not a murderer, fight until they get a second hearing for my case. \n\n\n \nI allow myself to be hopeful.\n\n \n\n\nOn the day of the hearing, they tell me I have a visitor. Its Jessie. \n\n\n\nI havent seen Jessie in months. She avoids me like the plague, and my parents dont seem inclined to force her to visit me. I cant blame them, and I cant blame her either, but I still feel bitter over how she seemingly gave up on me.\n\n \n\n\"You're really dumb, you know that?\" Is the first thing she says once were left alone in the hearing room. \"How could you do that to yourself? To Mom and Dad?\"\n\n\n \nI open my mouth to say something, anything to shut her up, but she cuts me off with a hand, and Im alarmed to see that she is second away from bursting into tears. \"No. I'm here for a reason - dont interrupt\".\n\n\n \nI shrug to show her that Im listening, and keep my mouth dutifuly shut as she launches into a retelling of our childhood. I guess she came here to rant and rave, and I let her get things of her chest, hoping that she wont be so distant after this - shes my big sister after all, ive known her my whole life.\n\n \n\n\n \nThat day, I stand before the court. I dont look back to see my parents' faces, looking stubbornly ahead. Next to me, my lawyer is trying to grab my attention, but I have something I need to do.\n\n \n\nI confess to the murder of Gus Smith, as well as 12 others. I confess that I am the Slicer and draw on every horror movie ive seen to recount 13 brutal deaths.\n\n\n\nWhat choice do I have when the real Slicer is sitting right there behind me? What else can I do when all the Slicer did was to take out a few horrible bullies to protect the ones too weak to fight back? She's my big sister, and she was just trying to help.\n", "It was just another day in the life of Matthew Moreno. Wake up. Snooze. Wake up again. Snooze once more. Wake up again, and it's time to go. \n\nAs I rolled out of bed, channel 4 was covering the same god damned shit it'd been covering for 2 months. Serial killer, loose in Smithtown. \n\n*SERIAL KILLER STRIKES AGAIN* \n\nThis dude should just hurry up and get caught already, or find his way to me and put me out of my damn misery. \n\nAs I got ready for work, dread passed over me as I was going to be spending another day desperately trying to pass the time on Reddit while the world and my friends went on enjoying their lives. \n\nI had to make a choice, get a coffee and be late, or rush straight into work. I chose coffee. Call me a masochist, I could really care less about this dead-end job though. I'm too young to be settling for something like this anyway, I could use the kick in the ass. \n\nTurns out, I'd made the right choice. Nobody noticed me strolling in 15 minutes late because apparently The Smithtown Slasher's latest victim was my boss. I couldn't believe it. \n\n\"They found his body late last night after his wife called in a missing persons report. He was floating on a pallet in the same river the killer leaves all his victims. His body was opened up apparently.\" Marcy said, wincing at the thought. \n\nMarcy was Jack's secretary, and my cubicle neighbor. She was a sweet 50 something year old lady with a daughter I've had my eye on. \n\n\"That's disgusting. I can't even believe this, who's going to be running the show around here now?\" I asked, trying to seem like I cared more than I did. \n\nDon't get me wrong, Jack didn't really deserve to DIE. He just, shouldn't have been in charge here. The guy was a huge asshole. Racist too. \n\n\"Not sure yet, I'm surprised they are keeping us all here today given the news.\" Marcy responded quietly. \n\n\"I'm not.\" I said, not taking my eyes off my screen. \n\n\"So, how was your weekend? You do anything fun?\" Marcy asked, she was always making conversation in the mornings. \n\nI thought about it, and I couldn't really think of anything interesting that I'd done. Probably because I haven't been doing anything lately besides smoking weed and eating pizza thanks to Victoria, My slut ex-girlfriend who sent me spiraling into depression. \n\n\"Same ol' nothing, how about you?\" I ask politely, turning my head to presumably hear some tale about her crazy mother or her daughter stressing her out. \n\nShe let me off easy by saying she didn't do much either, and we went on with our days. Six came around especially slow today, since I typically have to work way harder on doing nothing when Jack is around. Alas, I made it, though. \n\nOn my traffic-filled drive home, I spent a lot of time thinking about where my life is at. Heavy shit, but I definitely needed a change. Maybe I should get back on those meds after all, they seemed to keep my mind regulated if nothing else. Even if I WAS misdiagnosed. They helped. I can't keep up with this cycle of nothingness. \n\nWhere did I put those things anyway? \n\nWhen I got back home, I decided to look for them so I could take one before bed. Wasn't long before I found them. \n\nSertraline - Dissociative Personality Disorder - Take once a day \n\nI should really tell my parents about this, and see what they think. I probably should seek a second opinion while I'm at it. These pills do make me feel pretty good, though. \n\nI decided to start the cycle up again and see what happens. I'd definitely seek a second opinion before dropping that bombshell on the rents. We'll see. \n\nI popped open my phone and began to scroll social media endlessly before coming across a few posts regarding my ex. I went to her page and snooped around, apparently she's missing? I got up, and called our mutual friend. \n\n\"Uhh, yeah. She's been missing since Saturday night. Have you heard from her, Matt?\" Alice said distantly. \n\n\"Missing since Saturday night?\" I repeated, slowly. \n\nI sat up, the hair on my arms had received a jolt of electricity. Was it the Smithtown Slasher? I felt terrified for a moment, and then I remembered I was still on the phone. \n\n\"Hello? Are you there?\" Alice sounded annoyed. \n\n\"Uhh, yeah I gotta go. If you hear from her please let me know.\" \n\nclick\n\nIt wasn't even 30 seconds later I heard knocks at my door. Unless it's grubhub, there is never knocks at my door. I definitely didn't order food, either. \n\n\"Who is it?\" I shout as I walk towards the front. \n\n\"It's Smithtown PD. Open the door, please.\" I heard from a stern voice through the door. \n\nMomentary fear crept up on me, but I assured myself I was going to be fine as I was busy doing... what? What was I doing on Saturday night? ... Fuck. Where was I? \n\nI began to rack my brain but for the life of me could not produce an alibi for the inevitable questions I was about to be asked. I couldn't stall, that would look even more suspicious. I'd have to make something up. \n\nBANG BANG BANG\n\n\"Hello? Open this door now please.\" the voice continued. \n\n\"I'm coming, I'm coming.\" I responded while reached for the doorknob. \n\n....\n\nI awoke in a cell. Not a cell, a box. Am I in prison? My thoughts went back to the countless movies I'd seen where the characters are placed in solitary confinement. \n\nWhat the fuck happened? How did-- \n\nI got up and started banging on the door. It wasn't long before two men in white coats showed up outside, and opened the square window. I calmly explained to them that I had no idea why I was there, and needed to speak with somebody in charge. \n\nThey just looked at each other, then back at me. \n\n\"He really doesn't know.\" the first one said. \n\n\"He most definitely knows, he's just a sociopath. Look at him. These people are professional liars.\" the second one said.\n\n\"Excuse me? Who do you think you are speaking to like that? I am not a sociopath and I can assure you that I DON'T know what the hell is going on right now. I've got to be dreaming.\" I respond with. \n\nI began pinching my own arms and screaming to be let out. Being claustrophobic and locked away in a small place you don't belong with no way out is a really bad combination. \n\nThey just closed the window and left. \n\nAn image of that Sertraline bottle flashed back across my mind, it was almost completely full when I'd found it. \n\nAnother image of my psychiatrist telling me that it is absolutely crucial I take the pill every single day. \n\n\"You could have episodes where the part of your personality that you don't want getting out, gets out. You might not even remember it happening. You can lose all control, son. I really hope you are understanding me. This medicine must be taken every day.\" he slowly explained to me, emphasizing the final line. \n\nJack... Victoria... \n\nA wave of horror washed over me and was replaced by absolute panic. I couldn't sit still. My heart began racing. I couldn't take the thoughts going through my head and I eventually passed out. \n\nNeedless to say, that place became my new home. I wasn't in prison, I was in a psychiatric ward, and I'd likely be there for the remainder of my life. \n\nThey proved it was me. I was the Smithtown Slasher. They caught me when I began killing those I had personal relationships with. \n\nTo this day, I don't fully believe it. I can't. I have no memories of killing anybody, I couldn't even kill a cat if you paid me to. It isn't in me. This is wrong. I shouldn't be here. What has become of my life?\n\nAnd with tears rolling down my face, I whispered... \n\n\"I'm so, so sorry, Victoria\" \n\n", "For two months now a killer had been terrorising the town you live in. For two months, every week someone would go missing and their head would be found in the forest nearby. The similarity between all the people was that they were blond women in their thirties.\n\nFor the past year now, your marriage had been in a strained position, where your wife accused you of cheating on her. You know you had never done so, but for some reason your wife felt sure of it, she saw in your glances at the girls in your neighbourhood as proof of your crimes.\n\nFor an year you had tried to convince her, you had even stopped hanging around women altogether, you would always try to support your wife through thick and thin, because that's the promise you had made. You had done all this for an year now, but your wife still did not believe you, and it was slowly ruining your life, and the life of your children. \n\nSo that weekend you decided to take action. Your wife fit the bill of the targets of the serial killer. You had it all planned out. Even selected a space in the forest where you would place her head, and another spot nearby where you would bury the rest of the body.\n\nThe week went on, you had your kids sent to their friends place for a sleepover during the weeked, a few suggestions easily doing the trick. You had the answer planned for when they asked about your wife, that she had left home like she had been randomly doing in bursts of anger every few days. Then at last the day arrived.\n\nThat night you held the strings taut over your wife's throat and pulled. You felt her struggle and shake. You felt the life slowly go out of her. You held on for another ten minutes after she had stopped moving. It took you another two hours to get the body moved and to remove the head and place it at the spot. Nobody saw you through it all. \n\nWhen you entered your home that night, for the first time in ages, you felt peace, and you felt certain that your children's life was going to be fine now.\n\nIt's been two months now since that night. The police did find the body and took you in for questioning. They had you as a potential culprit but they could not stick anything to you. To your surprise, the kids seemed to have taken their mother's death very well, they even seem to be more cheerful, makes you realize exactly how toxic that woman was.\n\nThere is one thing that has been troubling you though, since your wife died there have been no more reports of new victims. There have been rumors of maybe the killer leaving town, that all the horrors are now over. On the other hand, you have a feeling that is not really the case, and you feel cold shivers run down your spine as you remember all those days of your wife screaming at you about sleeping around with those dumb blonds." ]	6
	[WP] Satan has been reborn to kickstart the apocalypse, he never realized how limiting a human body is and how little power he actually has in one.	[ "It all started with the surprised reaction of the chosen subject. It had been planned for well over a year from his perspective, but she had gone through the duration with no idea. The doctors didn’t wait to give her the news, simply handing him over. In what should have been the happiest moment of her life, she could do nothing but tremble and shiver. Tremble and shiver at the sight of him. \n\nFather, whoever he had been, hadn’t bothered to show up, much like he hadn’t shown for the multiple appointments, or the ultrasound, or the baby-shower. Over the coming years, as he began to gain more conscious control of his new-found body, Satan found it ironic to think he wasn’t the worst person in the household. He was a monster, but he wasn’t that bad. \n\nSchool was an interesting beast, far more savage then he had expected. \nMaybe the world was changing, but the other children didn’t seem fond of the red eyes or the scars under his eyes.\nMaybe the world was less expecting then humans like to believe, because when he was asked what he wanted to do when he was a grownup, he got laughed out of the room. What was so funny with the answer ‘I want to rid the world of trash’. \n\nIt was high school where he expected things to be different, for the plan to finally look achievable. The stigma was that a boy’s biology changes once one reaches that age, but nobody had ever explained to him exactly how. \n\nThe bullying was what probably made him want to use his powers so early in development. Apparently being “weird” is a criminal offence in the world he had watched for eternity. He had been thrown to the ground and wailed with kicks one time too many, he thought. Something had to give. \n\nHe clambered to his feet, as awkwardly as he did all things, and with all of his might tried to conjure the flames of the pits he had called home. While in his other form, it was all about willpower anyway, his powers came because he was confident enough to use them. \nNaturally his eyes were closed, as he didn’t want to burn his eyes, which were surprisingly sensitive. \nIn the few seconds that followed he couldn’t help but smile. Whatever had happened, it must have been cool. \nBut he heard no screams, he felt no fear in the air, and the courtyard was still a chilly -2. He opened his left eye first, welcomed by the familiar feeling of laughter. The bullies, the bystanders, even the teacher who had made her way over to interfere; all of them couldn’t contain their amusement. \nHe reached down, grabbed his bag and made for the school entrance. The teacher tried to stop him, told him there were still classes for the day, but the prison of school was not going to contain the devil on this day. \n\nHe was surprised to see the fan still on as he walked through the door. Down the corridor to the living room, the blaring lights of the television glimmered. He dragged his feet down the corridor and threw his bag aside as he grabbed the remote and turned it off. Mother was on the couch, but once she was asleep, she wasn’t waking for some time. Every time he saw her like this, he wondered if she ever would. \n\nSweet mother, with a smile on her face as she slept, a smile that took all the age and decay out of perception. \n\nSweet mother, who had lived for years being ostracised because people hadn't liked her son. \n\nSweet mother, the only being on the planet he had made a difference to, and the only person, to him, that mattered. \n", "At three years old, Stan uttered his first words. \n\n\"Da-\"\n\nHis father's head turns so fast, it nearly cracks. \"Son? Son! Are you going to say your first words?\"\n\nThe child stares up at him, eyes wide, a red fire burning deep within. (The doctor had said it was fine and to take '12 exorcisms, twice daily')\n\n\"Dadd-da-\"\n\n\"You can do it, Stan! MARTHA!! HE'S SAYING HIS FIRST WORDS!\"\n\n\"I'll be right there, Albert! Get the camera!\"\n\n\"Dadddadadadadada-\"\n\nThe two parents cluster around their child, cooing and clacking their teeth. \n\n\"Dad, what is the fastest route to obtaining limitless power?\"\n\nAlbert and Martha stare at the child.\n\nStan stares back.\n\n\"Well, son, I, er, I guess, by being a very good boy?\"\n\nAs a child, Stan was a very good boy.\n\nIt wasn't until his early teenage years when he finally realized his father might have lied to him. \n\nBy this time, he was already on the fast track through high school. The world was his oyster, in a sense, but a rather limited one. It was the early 1950's, and there was no internet to educate a young child on the methods of creating a nuclear bomb, nor was there a convenient war (he missed that one) to manipulate into global destruction.\n\nNo, Stan needed a slower solution. He was immortal, after all, and he had plenty of time to end the world.\n\nAnd so, Stan, with his knowledge of human nature and solid foundation in business from his father, started a fast food chain.\n\n^^^^^r/forricide" ]	2
	[WP] The appearance of everyone in the world accurately reflects that persons thoughts. It's more predictable than you would think, until you meet someone who looks rather unusual.	[ "My face was perfectly symmetrical. It had no flaws. My perfectly symmetrical face represented my perfect thoughts and views on everything. People referred to people like me as the ideal person. I didn’t mix around with the other people. The area I live in admits people with only perfectly symmetrical features. The school I go to also admits only people with perfectly symmetrical features. \n\nWe do not talk to people with crooked faces that are known to be sly or people with quirky features that are known to be weird. People have always either had perfect, crooked or quirky features. This made it possible for us to distinguish who belongs where. I mean, you really can’t expect me to mingle with someone sly or weird now can you? I would never let myself do so. But yesterday, I let my guard down and I am really glad I did. \n\nYesterday as I was walking back from school, something in the park caught my eye. A girl. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. She was seated on the swing, scribbling into a book. I couldn’t see her entire face but she had luscious, golden hair and a perfectly symmetrical face. What else do I need to know?\n I walked up to her boldly and said, “Excuse me?” \nShe looked up and that is when I saw it. Her face was symmetrical, yes. But her nose, it was odd. It was a little crooked. I must be imagining things I thought and came back to reality. \n“If you don’t mind me asking,” I said politely “I was pretty curious as to what you were scribbling in your book.” \n“Oh!” She exclaimed and smiled. And that is when I saw it again, her smile, it was quirky and so were here gleaming eyes. \nShe was already showing me the drawings she had made. They were beautiful, I think. I was too captivated by her beauty and uniqueness to pay attention to the artwork. \n\nHer beauty was spellbinding. It was so spellbinding that I forgot I had to get home and study. I sat in the park with her for hours as she talked. All I did was listened. A lot of her thoughts were perfect, with no flaws. But some were pretty weird which I strangely liked. Again some of her thoughts were pretty sly, which again I strangely seemed to like. Everything she spoke made so much sense. It felt like her thoughts had touched me and changed me. But that is impossible, right? Exactly what I thought too. \n\nBut today as I looked into the mirror, I noticed something different about me. There was a quirky gleam in my eye. I smiled. I didn’t notice anything crooked but I am hoping for it to kick in after my trip to the park.\n\n______________________________________\n\nSorry if there are any typos or punctuation errors\n" ]	1
	[WP] You're a low-level monster in the dungeon of a famous rpg. Your life is pretty carefree, because most heroes don't make it past a couple floors. You come back from lunch break to find your coworkers are terrified. A lone hero is beating all the traps/creatures, and he's almost at your floor.	[ "I walked back to my post, morosely greeting my fallen comrades. No one looked up, all of us, trapped in our own personal hells even while enduring this real one. And to what end, defending our demonic enslaver? I should have never made that pact, for hundreds of years I face the same torturous trials all so that I could fight on in that one battle. My mortal hopes and dreams seem so distant these days, all mixed up together in some relic of a tapestry, a battlefield, a demonic army, a woman's face, and a pact to fight on after death in defense of what I love. And I must have really loved her, sacrificing my afterlife in her defense had seemed so romantic at the time, what they never tell you in the stories though, is that eternity lasts a lot longer than a woman. Sigh, I hear whips cracking in the distance, let the pain begin again, let her face be washed away in the agony, let the daily ritual commence.\n\nAs the demonic overseer approached, I could tell something was different today, his usual eager demeanour at the pain he was about to inflict was replaced by hurried motions and an air of frantic action. He gesticulated wildly as he grew closer, and the moment he came within range, I felt his bidding slam into my consciousness. Like a smith's hammer shaping a blade, a beating call to action dominated my mind. I needed to kill the hero. I needed to kill the hero. I needed to kill the hero.\n\nReadying my blade, I allowed my mind to fall deeper into the domination, over the years I had found that total acceptance of the command allowed at least a little bit of my consciousness to function normally, while the rest became obsessed with carrying out the action. In this small part of my brain, I felt excitement, and even happiness, emotions that I hadn't experienced since my time with the living, since my last time with her. Finally, a chance at an enemy, finally a chance to truly die and escape the pain. I hadn't been able to fight against the mind domination much, just small things, taking a bit longer to do a command, or a brief hesistations in the actions required. However I hoped this would be enough to dull my reflexes and allow the hero's weapons to crush me out of this hellish existence.\n\nThe dull thud of battle, and cries of pain could be heard nearing as I stood lost in thought. The last time I had heard these sounds, I fought back to back with my lover, us wielding our matching greatswords in a dance so deadly none could stand before us. Until they did. Well, this would not be my time to stand to the hero, this time, I would be the one perishing. And as the hero rounded the corner, my dominated mind took control. My feet brought me into a charge, and I whispered to myself, \"lover, I come to join you now\".\n\nThis hero was strong. He cut great swathes through our ranks, his giant sword cleaving directly through some of my comrades, they too seemed a tad slower than I could remember. I silently wished them happiness and peace as they escaped this place. And then the hero was before me, he wore heavy armor, and any opening that I might have seen exposed to my sword had long since been covered in gore from his previous conquerings. His blade met mine, metal on metal, and a loud clanging rang out over the battlefield. He struck again and I parried deftly. NO! I thought to myself, I need to lose this battle, I need him to strike me down. But my battle-trained reflexes and domianted mind were too powerful, denying me even the ability to lose a fight. He engaged again, only to be beaten off by my blade. I registered in the back of my mind a posture of surprise from the hero, as if he hadn't encountered someone who fought like this before. Please, please let him have what it takes to beat me. I was dragged to the offensive, delivering a series of brutal overhand chops. The last one caught him a glancing blow across the temple and as he stumbled back I pressed my advantage. Striking again out towards his head, his helmet was sundered in two, knocking him down and leaving his neck exposed to my blade. I hesitated for a moment as long flowing hair spilt out from the hero's broken neckplate. A beaten bloodied face turned towards me, and as I raised my sword to deliver the killing blow, I saw something terrifying. I saw a face I recognized, a woman's face, on a battlefield, behind me a demonic army, and in her eyes a pact to fight on after death for what she loved.\n\n\"Death\" she said \"is not the only escape.\" And I hesitated.", "Glug returned to find all the other kobolds trying to act as natural as possible yet something was very, very wrong.\n\nGlug approached his friend and colleague, Zeb but before he could utter a word, Zeb hushed him.\n\n\"There is a lone adventurer defeating all the dungeon bosses, he's about to hit this floor. Act natural and be ready to gank him as soon as he aggros\"\n\nGlug took his position at the far side of the room next to the wall.\n\nAs the door opened the kobolds gasped at the grotesque naked adventurer. His face was distorted beyond what was thought possible. As though someone grabbed both cheeks and stretched his face at birth. The only thing more noticeable was his bright neon green pig tails flailing wildly in the air as he moved.\n\nThe lone adventurer slowly and methodically maneuvered his way around the outer wall of the room avoiding the seemingly random yet predictable movements of the kobolds.\n\nUntil he reached Glug. Glug wandered ever so close to this abomination yet the adventurer was undeterred, as though he knew Glug was going to stop and change direction. \n\nWhat this adventurer did not predict however was Zeb, who wandered too close to this monstrosity. In a loud screech Zeb cried \"ATTA....\" But before he could finish his sentence and before the other kobolds could react they felt a sudden calmness lift over them, completely forgetting the adventurer was still creeping along the wall.\n\nAfter the calm passed over Glug, he looked over to the adventurer one last time. As the adventurer finished drinking a strange yellow liquid from a vial, Glug overheard the adventurer mutter \"stupid fucking trash\" before exiting the large room and entering the bosses room.", "So. There I am, sitting in the dining hall, eating my sandwich, when Randy runs in screaming about the end times. I ignore him at first. Randy's always panicking about something. A good guy, but just a little paranoid.\n\nBut his next line catches my attention.\n\n\"He's down to the eighth floor!\"\n\nMy sandwich slips from my hands and splatters all over the floor. An unfortunate loss of a good lunch, but I have more pressing matters on my mind.\n\nI make my way over to Randy, and grab him by the shoulders.\n\n\"Randy. Randy, calm down, and say that again.\"\n\nHe takes several deep breaths.\n\n\"The eighth floor, Dave. They're all dead.\"\n\n\"No. No, that can't be. I've been working in this dungeon for fifty-four years, and never have I seen anyone even get past the fifth.\"\n\n\"It's true, Dave. You know how Tuesday is doughnut day here on the tenth floor, right? Well, we had a few left over, so I went up to ask Mark on the eighth if he wanted any. And... and I found...\"\n\nHe didn't finish his sentence, but the meaning was all too clear.\n\nShit.\n\nThis was bad. This was really bad.\n\nNo. Pull yourself together, Dave. We have emergency plans for this sort of thing.\n\n\"Okay, Randy. You remember how contingency plan Styx goes, right? I need you to activate it. The gate is on the eleventh floor, wing 8A. The passcode is 4177.\"\n\n\"Are you sure, Dave? I don't know if I can do this.\"\n\n\"I believe in you, Randy. Now go. The fate of our dungeon depends on you.\"\n\nHe nods, and dashes off.\n\nAlright. Time for me to play my part. I leave the dining hall and climb the stairs to the ninth floor, praying that I wasn't too late.\n\nSoon enough, I saw this new \"hero\" in the distance, slaughtering his way through hordes of \"evil monsters\". What a load of bullshit. We spend our lives training to guard these dungeons, and this bastard thinks he can come in and take it all away?\n\n\"Hey!\"\n\nHe turns around and sees me.\n\n\"Hey, you! What the hell do you think you're doing here?\"\n\n\"What do you think? I'm clearing this dungeon.\"\n\n\"You know you're not supposed to be on this floor. How did you get here?\"\n\n\"What do you mean?\"\n\n\"Stop feigning ignorance. Everything past the fifth floor in this dungeon is restricted to devs only. You know what happens when you break the rules.\"\n\nI see the fear in his eyes. Good.\n\nTime to strike the final blow.\n\n\"Tell me, does the name 'Styx' mean anything to you?\"\n\n\"No way...\"\n\n\"Oh, yes. Aaron 'Styx' James, better known as the Banhammer. I'd wish you luck, but I don't think you deserve it.\"\n\n---\n\n/r/jwfiredragonwrites", "It was another terribly boring day in The Grundlwatz Cavern of Chaos, but Blanziax couldn't care less. As a goblin under the employ of one of the craziest wizards known to the age, he was perfectly content to patter around the dingy corridors of Grundlwatz's twisted cavern \"guarding\" things with the other minions. Though what he was supposed to be guarding he had no idea, since the wizard spent all of his time babbling to himself in the lowest level and occasionally producing the odd explosion followed by cackling laughter and unintelligible gibberish. \n\nIt certainly wasn't gold, thought Blanziax as he flipped a gold coin off his gnarled green thumb into the air; appreciating how the flickering torch light glinted off the coins faces as it twisted in the air. The wizard left gold lying around in a big room literally all over the floor. Blanziax knew this because he'd been stealing from it for over a year and not only did the wizard not care, he didn't even seem to notice. \n\nAll the better for Blanziax. He'd worked up quite a little horde of his own between his pay purse and his daily trip after lunch to the gold vault. It was a simple matter to get past the guard trolls, dumb as they were, Blanziax simply walked up and asked them their names, and as they tried to figure that out, strolled in and pocketed a few coins, gone before the trolls had figured out their first few grunts. \n\nHe chuckled to themselves and wiped a bit of insect guts from his coat, it was one thing to not take your job seriously, it was another to go about covered in dirt and grime like the rest of the mud crawlers who worked here. \n\nWandering back from the mess hall he spotted Clanks the undead skeleton swinging a rusty sword around wildly and aimlessly. Practicing no doubt, but for what Blanzaix couldn't say. This had to be the least raided dungeon in the entire country. \n\n\"Eh there Clanker!\" He called out to his rattling friend, \"Boning up on your sword skills?\"\n\nHe clutched his side as a fit of laughter at his own joke overtook him. Clanks was less amused. Or at least, Blanziax assumed he wasn't amused, because he had no face. But he stopped swinging the sword and waved it down the hall in a vague direction signalling him to go away. \n\n\"Not now Blanziax, I don't have time for your idiotic goblin humor.\" He rasped, turning back to his swordplay. \n\n\"Alright, Jeez Clanks. What's got under your skin? Oh wai-\" \n\nBlanziax never got to finish his joke as he ducked under the skeletons rusty blade as it whipped through the air where his head had just been. Darting quickly out of range he stopped to pick up a rock and threw it at the Skeleton's empty head, producing a satisfyingly hollow sound and a string of curses. \n\nBlanzaix didn't stick around to find out which ones, dashing around a corner or two and dusting himself off. \n\n-The nerve of some people! Or lack there of- he thought to himself with a chuckle, continuing down a empty hallway without any real destination in mind, careful to avoid the flame throwers, spike pits, and death blades that seemed to be situated at every intersection and corner as if placed on a giant grid. \n\nHe hummed a merry tune to himself as he visualized what he was going to do with his small fortune, he wouldn't be wasting it on a ridiculous dungeon full of ridiculous nonsense, no sir. At the last company meeting the old wizard had said he was installing giant crossbows that shot wolves at people. Madness. The old coot was getting crazier by the minute. \n\nNo, he would buy a nice profitable bomb factory and sell explosives to idiots like Grundlewaltz for their Caverns of Terror and Dungeons of Madness and Towers of Calamity and he would become even richer than he was right now. The idea split his crooked face into an even more crooked smile as he daydreamed of how he could save money by enslaving kolbolds. \n\nHe was shook out of his reverie by someone, no, a crowd of someones jostling him to the side of the passage. It was a a troop of lizard-men, their scaly hides and clicking claws and weapons making a ridiculous amount of noise as they ran down the hallway jostling each other to be the head of the pack. Idiots. Not one of them even noticed him, and he was certain that he saw Jurnlez in the pack. Blanziax had sold the reptilian his sword for demon's sakes. It was worthless garbage of course, just as likely to break as anything, but still he had considered them friends or if not friends then definitely someone you don't bowl over in the hallways. \n\nWhat happened to workplace etiquette? The minions were riled up today, that's for sure. Maybe old man Grundl had screwed up one his spells again and made everyone wacky. Wouldn't be the first time. Blanziax himself had once spent an entire week stuck in a doorway because the old badger had shrunk all the wood in the dungeon trying to enlarge something. \n\nShaking his head at the memory, he decided to go to the armory, maybe someone there would be willing to part with a few silvers in a game of cards. Blanzaix was good at cards, because he always cheated and because he always played the Kobolds who were too stupid to realize. \n\nAs he approached the armory however, he heard the hustle of weapons and armor, a sound he had never heard on this floor. As he rounded the corner he could hardly believe his eyes. \n\nMinions of all sorts were running into the armory and suiting up for battle. Many were arguing over magical weapons and shields and quite a few brawls has broken out among the orcs. Demons were practicing their spells and the giant eyeballs were practicing their... eyeballing. Actually Blanziax wasn't sure what the eyeballs did but he knew they made more than him. \n\nHe needed to get to the bottom of this and he needed to hear it from someone intelligent. He spotted someone he knew stomping out from the armory clutching a gigantic battleaxe. It was Ox-Or the Minotaur. Many people thought that Minotaurs were mindless brutes but their bloodshot eyes and frothing rage filled screams belied a hidden intelligence they seldom showed to others outside their race.\n\n\"Hey Ox-Or what the hell is going on around here? We doing another of Ol'Grundy's Drills?\" He called out, approaching the hulking mass of fur and muscle. \n\nOx-Or looked around but didn't notice him until Blanziax tugged some of his hoof fur and the giant looked down to see Blanziax. \n\n\"Oh, there you are. Hail Blanziax. I fear this is no drill. A hero has breached the upper levels and is rapidly approaching. Today may be the day I finally face a true opponent.\" \n\nBlanziax just started laughing\n\n\"Oh come on, that's a good one.\" He said, chuckling and wiping a tear from his eye. Imagine! \n\nThe Minotaur just stared at him without speaking. Blanziax stopped laughing. \n\n\"Wait, You serious Oxy, you ain't pulling my ears?\" \n\nThe giant shrugged his shoulders and shook his head slowly. Blanziax couldn't believe it.\n\n\"You mean everyone thinks they're gonna make it here!? This is the 6th level for hell's sake!\" \n\nThe Minotaur just nodded again. \n\n\"Wait, wait, wait, wait. You're telling me that they got past The Kobolds?\" \n\nNod. \n\n\"Past the Maze of Mystery?\" \n\nNod.\n\n\"Through the Fissure of Certain Death? \nThrough the Room of 1000 Spikes?\nPast the Twin Evil Centaurs who ask riddles while they murder you?\nPAST THE FLOOR OF INFINITE SLIMES?\" \n\nFour slow nods. Blanziax fell back on his heels onto the dirt floor. \n\n\"But the slimes are infinite.... they literally can't be stopped!\" He protested weakly. \n\nThe Minotaur reached over a passing minion and grabbed the helmet from his head, slapping it down over Blanziax's big pointy ears. It was too big and covered most of his head.\n\n\"They found a way.\" He said simply, in a voice like distant thunder. \n\nBlanziax pushed the helmet out of his eyes and stared up at the big Minotaur, fear filling him as he realized he might actually be in danger, or worse, his gold might be. Then something else occurred to him. Something he missed. \n\n\"Wait did you say A hero? As in ONE?\" \n\n\nEnd of Part 1, more to follow if anyone cares :P \n\nSorry about all the punctuation and grammar errors, wrote this on a tablet**", "\"Calm down Bill, he won't make it in here\" Draco said, his scaled tail swaying across the floor as he sat deep in thought. \"But no one has ever made it! Were doomed!\" Bill replied, and the group of zombies he stood with grunted in a worried agreenace. The dragon sighed, a brief flame blowing through his nostrils. Surely this was a joke. The lower dungeons trying to pull one over. No one ever made it past 80! Many made it close, but they were always knocked out by his cousin, Ratheroq, the final boss on level 79. A great big mean thing, even in their younger days. He had made the other children tremple, towering 20 feet over them in pre-school.\n\nDraco was powerful, but nothing like his cousin. He had seen very little battle outside of training academy, and knew that while he was the strongest on his floor, he could be knocked down quickly. A loud scream pierced his thoughts. \"He's dead!\" A Skelton shouted. \"The warrior? Finally.\" Draco responded with a smirk. \"No-Ratheroq. The warrior is on his way! What are we going to do?!\"\n\nChaos broke out as Draco felt the blood drain from his face. How?! What magic did this warrior hold? He would obliterate them all in seconds. He looked around the room at the frantic creatures. \"Stop it! All of you!\" He roared and the room fell silent. \"We are monsters, not men. We will advance to the wall.\" \"But Draco,\" a timid ogre spoke out \"we do not know where it will lead.\" Draco ignored him and began walking towards his destination. Round the corner, across the gap in the bridge, and behind the staircase. The group came to a hault behind him. He put a foot forward, and watched as it went straight through the wall. He resisted the urge to yelp, and continued to step forward.\n\nAs his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he felt as if he was somewhere he had been before. He stepped out of the way so the others could come through the wall. \"It's...the first level...\" He mumbled, trying to gather his bearings. Looking around he saw bodies on the floor, and heard the timid oger crying over gore that lay out before them.\n\nDraco growled, the noise echoing through the halls. \"Look through the bodies for weapons and prepare yourselves. We will avenge our brethren. If we move quickly and quiet, we can use the suprise from behind to our advantage. Now let's go catch ourselves a 'Hero'\"", "\"Hey! Red knight, good to see you!\", waved the Blue Knight as he walked to the cistern. The Red Knight looked up and smiled.\n\n\"Hey hey, Blue Knight, what are you doing so high up? Usually they keep you guys down on the first five floors. Then y'know mandatory two years on Green Knight assignment.\" Both knights put the tips of their thumbs on their visors and wiggled they're fingers.\n\n\"Greenie weenies, dumb and meany\" They recited and broke into a laugh.\n\n\"No, no they actually promoted me straight to Red Knight because I killed the last adventurer.\" Said the Blue Knight, pleased.\n\n\"Oh no way! That's great man, the more the merrier up here. We kind-of just hangout and chill up here. Plenty of room if you want to stretch out or make your own area. Besides that, you need to walk a beat for a shift every other day. But that's nothing compared to what the Blues have to put up with.\"\n\n\"I know, right? Here comes the easy life.\" Said the Blue Knight, reclining into the sofa. \n\nA shrill whine swept across the floor, swiftly followed by the clamor of steel boots marching. Sword and shield collided in a discordant cacophony of iron and wood. Three score of Red Knights all bustled past the companions in a confused semi-order. Both Knights stood and looked at one another. The Red Knight put his hand on the Blue Knights shoulder.\n\n\"Don't worry. That just means he's three floors down. It happens every few weeks. He won't be able to beat the giant-\"\n\nA harsh microphone buzzed across the floor, \"Ifrithit, the flame serpent, has been defeated. I repeat, Ifrithit has been slain. Prepare level 11.\"\n\nThe Blue Knight began to shake, the scales of his armor rattling gently together. The Red Knight still held his shoulder. He attempted to talk, but had to wet his mouth. \"It's OK. That's still a level below us. No one makes it up this far, we're the last ones before the boss.\"\n\nThe Blue Knight nodded jerkily and tried to keep himself still. The Red Knight nodded back to him, \"Yea, yea, ya see there's a giant trap pit on the floor below us. No way he can get around it, it'll drop him right back on our doorstep, nothing more than a pile of Jelly and some bone splinters. The pit's guard is tough as nails, a two headed cyclopes. I've seen him eat people whole, there's no way this guy could-\"\n\nA deep, guttural moan steamed in from the tower's window. The Knights looked at each other and leaned out together. They were greeted to the sight of the final leg of the cyclops's rapid journey from the 11th floor down to the cobblestones that sat at the towers foot.\n\nThe Red Knight vomited down the towers side then turned to face the hallway his compatriots had filed down. He looked back to the Blue Knight while he arranged his armor. \n\n\"Just stay back here a while OK? We're the last line of defense and you already had your glory for the day. Just hide it out and uh...I'll take care of this goon alright?\" He said, attempting to force a grin onto his pale lips. He let out an uneven breath and rushed down the hall. \n\nThe Blue Knight felt his legs go weak and searched desperately for a place to hide. He settled on a small alcove beside the door to the Boss's chamber. He heard the clatter of arms and armor come to an uneasy halt. The air felt charged and heavy. The Blue Knight could feel the weight of the anticipation that hung across every Red Knights brow. The creak of wood turned instantly into a deafening crack as the mighty door burst inwards, reduced to a hail of splinters. The Blue Knight sat cowering as he listened to the deep moanings of the dying and the high pitched cries of the living. Nothing became discernible in the din aside from the heavy steps of metal boots on stone and the thumping of weapons upon one another. Slowly, the melee began to settle. The footsteps became thinned and the drum of weapons and shields yielded to the heavy thuds of fresh corpses falling limp to the floor. Soon the Blue Knight could hear cries for mercy or the soft sucking of the wounds. One lone set of heavy steps fell unevenly away from the door, followed by steady, leisurely footfalls. The swish of a blade and the dull thud of a body echoed into silence. The Blue Knight curled further into the alcove and attempted to hold himself together. He heard the footsteps approach the Boss's chamber and stop.\n\n\"Hmm.....probably need to grind more before the boss. I'll just let this place re-spawn and run it again.\" \n\nThe Blue Knight was beginning to breath easily as he listened to the psychopath's whistling retreat down the hallway. The blue knight heard the dull thump of a foot on a ball. It bounced slowly down the hallway, eventually rolling into the Blue Knights alcove. He looked down to see the Red Knights head, still helmeted, eyes rolled back and tongue lolled out. \n\nThe Blue Knight let out a cry and ran into the corridor. The demon looked at him apathetically.\n\n\"Blue Knight, this high up? Must be an Easter egg. Well, not like it'd have any good loot anyway.\"\n\nThe Blue Knight, frozen with terror, watched as the monster strolled over the pile of fathers and husbands he had butchered. Soon, the Blue Knight's legs could not support him and he fell into a gray, dreamless, sleep.\n\n\"Hey. Hey!\" \n\nThe Blue Knight felt a hand on his shoulder shaking him awake. Miraculously, he awoke in a soft bed with the Red Knight standing over him. \n\n\"You can't sleep in the first day of your shift! C'mon you're going to be late, Red Knight.\" " ]	6
	[WP] A time machine depends on objects produced in that time period. To go to 1983, you use a Return of the Jedi original ticket. To go to 2015 you use a MAGA Hat. You now have the greatest of items to use. The Shroud of Turin.	[ "\"Remember, we went through hell to obtain this.\"\n\n\"That's a nice way to say that we'd stolen it.\"\n\n\"Hey, it's on loan. We'll give it back once we set the score.\"\n\nThe time machine opened, releasing a flush of steam from the inside that hid a seat and various lights.\n\n\"How many times have we talked about this...you're stubborn Mike.\" \n\n\"And you're uninformed Jason.\" replied grunting a thin man, wearing a lab coat.\n\n\"Mike, Mike. Come on. I admire you for building a time machine, but damn, apart from your flawed personality, couldn't you make...I don't know...a different method to travel through time that didn't had to use items from that period?\" Jason asked while adjusting himself on the seat.\n\n\"...Why don't you build one, if you're so smart. I could give you an hand and explain the basics, but I don't think that you would quite understand.\" the man sighed out while adjusting the seatbelts of the seat\n\n\"...Thanks. But, let me ask. Why, why the Shroud of Turin?\"\n\n\" Oh, It wasn't really in my interest to use this. But you kinda pissed me off with all the Mike, you have to have faith...God this, Jesus that...\"\n\n\"W-What? It's only for this? Do you hate God that much?\"\n\n\"I neither don't hate or believe any of this. Just see what humankind has erected in their name. I don't like their fan-clubs.There, I'll close the panel and start the machine.\"\n\nMike leaved the machine and started tinkering with a command console.\n\n\"Jason, do you read?\"\n\n\"Yeah.\"\n\n\"Okay, communications work, remember to don't lose your multi-watch or I can't either save your ass or bring you back.\"\n\n\"Ay ay Captain.\"\n\n\"Starting launch sequence, countdown five, four , three, two, one..\"\n\nA sudden flash engulfed the machine, and darkness came.\n\n\"Jesus, the landing of this thing is always trouble\" coughed Jason, waking up and dusting himself off.\n\nWhat he didn't expect though was a man looking at him shocked and frozen in fear.\n\n\"What?\"\n\n\"Jason, Jason. Do you hear me?\" a robotic sounding voice came from the watch.\n\n\"Mike? Where I am?\"\n\n\"Wait, I'll active the multi-time translator\"\n\nThe man was still frozen up, wearing shallow pants and a shirt made out of poor thread.\n\n\"Uhm, excuse me dear stranger! I'm terribly sorry to have startled you. Would you mind telling me what year we're in?\" asked Jason\n\n\"....12...1263\" replied the man.\n\n\"What? There must be a mistake, Mike? Mike! I think the machine broke.\" \n\n\"...The machine is working brilliantly.\" \n\n\"Shouldn't we be approximately in the years 20-30?\"\n\n\"...Just ask the man, already.\"\n\n\"...Uh, excuse me...May God bless you but I have to ask another thing. I have come to pray our saviour Jesus Christ and his shroud, may you tell me where it is?\" asked a confused Jason.\n\n\"...Shroud?...H-How d-do you know, this was supposed to be secret!\" replied the man angrily\n\n\"Pardon me?\"\n\n\"The Church has secretly asked us to reproduce a Shroud just like Jesus should have! Nobody was supposed to know!\"\n\n\"W-what? Are you telling me that the Shroud is a fake?\" shouted Jason in disbelief.\n\n\"Did the church send you to look at the manufacturing?How do you know what are we doing here?\"\n\n\"....The Shroud....a fake...I don't....I don't..:\"\n\n\"...That's what happens when you don't listen to me and call the Carbon 14 tests done on it a fake and a forgery.\" the robotic voice came buzzing from the watch again.\n\n\"Who are you!?\" the man was now getting angry and worried.\n\n\"...Hold your horse, low medieval con artist. This guy owes me a brew.Jason, we're done here, I was right once again, you're paying tonight.\"\n\n\"...Shroud...a...fake...\"\n\nAnother flash engulfed the room, and the medieval man was left shocked alone in the room.\n\nIn disbelief of what happened, he shouted and ran out to tell his story of a divine appereance.\n\nListening to the details, everyone taught the mole of work had the best of him and deemed him crazy.\n" ]	1
	[WP] Alone they stood, weapon dulled and armour wrent. With terrible cry, they charged their last.	[ "\"I told you this was a bad idea,\" groaned Sir Tyon, collapsing to the rocky ground with a heavy sigh. \"Now they've come between us and the only avenue to safety.\" He paused to give his companion a stalwart glare, before adding, \"I hope you're happy.\"\n\nBrushing the long hair out of his eyes, Leo shrugged easily, replying, \"Look, we knew the danger when we decided to undertake this mission. As I recall, your response was, 'Just because no one has ever done it doesn't mean it can't be done.\"\n\n\"Well, to be fair, I was feeling quite a bit more optimistic at the time,\" growled Tyon, shaking his head. \"Your plan sounded a great deal more plausible on paper than in practice.\"\n\n\"Did you really think we would just walk in, steal the shaman's totem and just walk out, with a 'Sorry for the bother,' or something like that?\" Leo laughed, then groaned as the action caused some manner of pain in his torso. \"Now we have about a thousand screaming goblinkin after us, howling for blood.\"\n\n\"Aye,\" replied Tyon, shaking his head. \"And they've already taken Magnus and Werdna. And probably Trillian, too. Haven't seen hide nor hair of her since before we left the war camp.\"\n\n\"She's probably fine,\" Leo replied, though Tyon noticed his gaze couldn't quite meet his own. \"She's light on her feet, and smart. Probably back at the Hogshead by now with a pint.\"\n\n\"What I wouldn't give to be there as well,\" Tyon groaned, slowly coming to his feet with a rattle or armor. \"What do we have left for supplies?\"\n\n\"Let's see,\" replied Leo, sliding a worn rucksack off his shoulder. \"Since you lost your pack, we have.. three curative potions, a rope and grapple, two smokesticks. A lump of soap. Some chalk.\" He closed the pack, shaking his head, and added, \"Not much to work with here.\"\n\n\"No sense in delaying the inevitable, I guess,\" Tyon replied after a long moment, readying his sword and battered shield. \"Hope to meet you on the other side, my friend.\" He paused, and added, in a queer choked voice, \"It's been a pleasure.\"\n\n\"Aye, it has\" replied Leo, peeking around the rock they had used for a brief sheltered respite. \"Looks like there can't be more than about two hundred of them out there.\" He chuckled, pulling out a pair of long daggers, before adding, \"You take the hundred on the left, and I'll get the ones on the right. Remember, even when they beg for it, we give no quarter.\"\n\nIn spite of himself, Tyon let out a short laugh, and replied, \"Aye. No quarter asked nor granted.\"\n\nThe two warriors charged into the fray, blades and armor glinting in the light of the setting sun.\n\n-----------------------\n\n\"And that's another Nat' Twenty,\" whooped Mark, moving his figurine across the well-drawn map. \n\n\"Fine,\" replied the young man sitting behind a cardboard screen. \"You manage to nimbly slip past the last of the goblinkin, and scale the town wall to safety.\"\n\n\"Can I lower a rope to Larry? I mean, to Sir Tyon?\" Mark asked, making a small mock bow to the player across the table to him.\n\n\"You still have a bonus action left, so I would say you could lower a rope, yes.\" The young man sighed, pushing his glasses up his nose, and said, \"Next time I'm going to have to come up with a real challenge for you guys. Apparently a few hundred advanced goblins \ndidn't quite do it.\"\n\n\"At least you guys lived,\" another young man said, sullenly rolling dice and marking up a mostly-blank character stat sheet. \"I still say that was bullshit, Alan.\"\n\n\"You dropped three fireballs point blank, Steve,\" replied Alan, shaking his head. \"You basically went all 'Aloha Ackbar' on the camp. What makes you think you could live through that?\"\n\n\"I had fifteen points of fire resistance-\"\n\n\"Yes, against almost a hundred points of damage,\" interrupted Alan. \"Which left you with approximately negative thirty hit points. Which makes you dead.\" He paused, before adding, \"Very dead.\"\n\n\"Boys? Are you still up playing that silly game?\" A voice came down the stairs. \"I brought home some pizzas for you.\"\n\nMark and Larry grinned at each other from across the table.\n\n\"No quarter!\" they shouted, almost in unison, as they went charging up the stairs." ]	1
	[WP] It turns out that Humanity is just the beginning stage of an Alien race's life cycle. When we die, we awake as a new species. Ignorant of this, humans have finally invented immortality. Today, the last few members of that alien race broke radio silence and contacted Earth.	[ "\"Don't drink that bottle Steve don't you fucking dare!\" a voice boomed out of the Walgreens intercom.\n\nI looked around, making sure I had really heard what I thought I had, and sure enough, everyone in the store was just as confused as I was. I put the cap back on my bottle of elixir and kept searching for the voice.\n\n\"Uh, hello? Did someone say my name?\" The shop had gone all but silent, the only exception being someone playing a demo of Far Cry X on a new PS7.\n\n\"You're damn right we did!\" The intercom yelled \"Jesus christ you humans have caused a hell of a lot of trouble you know that?\"\n\n\"I'm sorry... I'm quite confu..\" I stammered but the intercom cut me off again.\n\n\"Everything was fine, everything was just dandy until you dicks went and screwed everything else. We gave you fast cars, we gave you video games, we even made the planet hotter for you because of your insane obsession with beaches, and summer, which, by the way, is not that great.\"\n\n\"I'm sorry who are you?\" I said attempting to speak again, but the mysterious voice seemed to ignore my question and kept rambling.\n\"But noo! That wasn't enough for you pigs, you just had to keep doing more! And now you've done it, now you've screwed us all! There used to be trillions of use you know? Trillions! and now there're just under 500. So I say again to you Steve, and everyone single one of you selfish bastards. Not a single one more of you drinks that damned elixir or every single one of us is done you here me! Not one!\"\n\nAnd with that the intercom cut off. I checked my phone, I had dozens of news alerts and text wondering who the mysterious voice was and who was this \"Steve\" that they had berated. It seemed the whole world had heard the voice. A looked back at the line behind me, already half of the others had left, scared off by the mystery person. I thought for a second then turned to the cashier.\n\n\"Hi I'd like to return this full bottle of elixir, I assure you I didn't drink any of it.\"", "\"Daniel... Daniel!\"\n\nI snapped out of it, taking in a large breath, as if I hadn't done so in a very, very long time.\n\n\"You were deep in thought there.\" Susan said, I watched her through the rimmed frame of my spectacles, before returning my gaze to the green leaves before me.\n\n\"What are you looking at?\" She asked, placing the tea she had brought me on the table, the steam that rose from it delectable.\n\n\"Come here,\" signing with my finger that she should come closer, she bent forward. \"There,\" I said, almost a whisper, as if not wanting to disturb the pupa as it wriggled within its cocoon. \"Beautiful, isn't it?\" I said, not even caring if Susan heard me, the question was partly meant for myself, a question to affirm my agreement.\n\n\"I never understood you and your stupid insects.\" Susan said with a sigh, rising up within the butterfly home I had erected. This was my world, my life, and Susan joked that my white hair and old age made me look like God, and this was my Eden.\n\n\"It's like the aliens,\" I said, as a butterfly rested on my shoulder, \"it's like us.\"\n\nSusan didn't ask me to explain, she didn't say anything, she already knew I was going to continue. \"We are like caterpillars, crawling on the ground, unaware that the process of cocooning ourselves will lead us to ascend into something greater. Butterflies simply do it because of an instinct, an inexplicable need to wrap itself. It doesn't know why it does it, it just does. We never had that, we were so afraid of what could be beyond the other end, that we stayed still. Stayed as we are.\" I was rambling, already eight hundred years old, and I found that I longed for death. Longed to join my Emilia in the ground, or as it turns out, among the stars.\n\nSusan didn't know what to say, she knew what was going through my mind, knew that i was simply talking to myself then. A god that was lost in his own Eden.\n\n\"Don't be late for dinner,\" she finally said, leaving the butterfly house.\n\nI looked around at the fluttering of wings, my mind going to Emilia; how I missed her. Even after all the years, I could still see the corners of her smiling lips, she even managed to make her wrinkles look young and full of sprite. The memory was more than an 800 year old echo, yet still, the echo left a shadow of itself upon my lips.\n\nI think Susan knew what I was saying, I think she came to terms with it. It was why she left, it was why she didn't say another word.\n\nI rose from my stool, bringing the underside of my wrist up, revealing the circular red and white disc in my arm. I stared at it for just a moment, I didn't hesitate out of fear, but out of perplexion. Of how the pulsing lights kept me alive, barred me from the instinct that allowed me death. Barred me from wrapping myself in my own cocoon.\n\nI looked up to the sky, and though it was morning, I imagined the stars that filled the night sky. Somewhere, out there, I would see Emilia once more.\n\nI looked back down at the disc, the way it pulsed, the way the lights spread outward, doing as it was programmed to do. I reached for it, fingernails digging under skin and finding purchase at the edges. And I pulled, the pain excruciating, I cried out in deafining pain. Still, the thought of being able to see Emilia soon lent me strength.\n\nThe small disk tore loose, the wires pulled out of my arm, red and blue and white, like tendrils that writhed in the air, trying to find something to hold onto.\n\nFirst, the weakness invaded my legs, bringing me to my knees; then, my eyes, as my eyelids felt heavy and difficult to hold open. And finally, it was my lungs that failed me, finding it impossible to keep going after all the years.\n\nI think I could hear Susan crying, but I wasn't sure, as I lay there on my side, blood pooling around my still and old body. And it was there, where my heavy head caught the final glimpse of something the corner of the room.\n\nIt was there, that the last thing I saw was a butterfly hatching from its cocoon, and spreading its wings. Beautiful.\n\nMy eyes closed, and I saw black, and then, I saw stars, I saw the place was going to. I am coming Emilia.\n\n***\n\n/r/KikiWrites " ]	2
	[WP] When a person comes of age, they receieve a book to determine their future. Most people get textbooks, some get novels, very few get fiction books. You, however, recieved a rather unique book...	[ "Chloe pushed her party hat back off her forhead and looked at her last present. Wrapped in plain brown paper wrapping, she could see that it was her book. None of the family could say for sure when it had arrived, but it hadn't been next to the pile of presents when she had come down for breakfast at 7am. At some point between then and noon the book had arrived, and her 18th birthday could really begin.\n\nShe felt her Mother and Father's eyes on her as she stared at the wrapped book. \"We'll let you have some time alone to open that, love.\" \n\n\"Dad, I... thank you so much for my presents. Thank you mam.\"\n\nHer parents left her sat at the kitchen table, the rectangular brown parcel in front of her almost screaming to be opened. I suppose... She dug her fingnails under the edge of the wrapping paper and tore it off with her eyes shut, before putting it down on the table. She didn't quite dare open her eyes, so Chloe used her hands instead. Running her fingers over the smooth cover, she found a texture that was organic - leather? - and nothing embossed, debossed, or printed that gave anything away. \n\nRolling her eyes under closed eyelids she took a deep breath. Now or never, chickenshit.\nChloe looked down at the table. \n\nThe cover was plain brown leather. The inside was full of blank pages.\n\n(edited: because formatting hates me)", "He sat at his desk. The generic office party had the common party favors. A few misplaced streamers, a large Publix cake, and some 2 liters.\n\nCharlie was far away from home, not that it mattered. He had been orphaned at a young age. his single father never quite mature enough to raise him gave into the pressures and left his boy with the system.\n\nEverybody gets a book on there 21st birthday, detailing their future. Charley has never really had anyone in his life break these things down though. The most his dad ever did with him is watch some comedy central with him. His favorite show was on that channel.\n\nDo orphans get books?\n\nSome few office gifts were opened. The normal shot glasses, some maracas, a toaster, the usual.\n\nBut here he was at his desk, waiting for him a book. But instead of the standard novel or textbook... A comic book sat in front of him.\n\nHe peeled back the title page to the image of a large action word SLAP right across his face. Confusion lit up his mind, as he went through pages and pages of it. \n\nJust then, a coworker came up.\n\n\"Hey, hey! Charlie Murphy! Happy birthday! HEY, what did the five fingers say to the face?\" A wicked grin possessed his face.\n\nOh no\n\nHe slaps the shit out of him. \"SLAP! HAHA!! Get it? haha.... I'm Rick James... Bitch... HA... Jeez chuck lighten up.\"\n\nOh no", "\"A complete guide to making memes... How is this possible?!?\" I look at the elders. \n\"A commoner, the chosen one? Impossible\" said one of them. \n\"My dear boy, your have been chosen to bring balance to the memes. You are one of few who can creat OC, and not just repost in the hope of getting up votes\"\n\"This is truly an amazing gift\"\n" ]	3
	[WP] You are an evil wizard that captured the King's daughter for ransom. To your surprise she likes your lair more than the boring castle and helps you kill off the knights trying to rescue her.	[ "“Hahaha! Did you- haaaaahahaha! Did you see that idiot’s face?! Haha oh my god, I’m sorry! I’m giggling like a schoolgirl!”\n\n“Oh please stop, you are fine! Are you kidding? That was ha! Hahaha! Such an idiot! Oh, look at me, Mr. Big Strong knight!” The dark wizard prances around his candlelit lair. “Then BAM! Now you’re a frog bitch!”\n\n“Oh please saaaaaaave me Mr. Knight! This big bad wizard is trying to get into my underpants!” The princess mocks and hikes up her puffy pink blood stained dress.\n\n“But before I do that…Another drink!”\n\nI must have done something good in another life to deserve this kind of good fortune because I have sure been a shit in this one. A kidnapping turned to love…Love?...I love her?...I love her…You love her you fool!. A princess for Merlin’s sake! With me? A lowly dark wizard with a modest manhood at best?! Go on King! Send more fools to their deaths. Your Princess- no. My Princess and I, will be waiting.\n\n“Ok ok another is coming down the road…I have an idea.” the Princess says seductively, slipping the dress off her shoulder.\n \n “Deep breaths now Galaheart. You are a knight of the King’s Court. No reason to be afraid, even if no one has succeeded yet and you’ve only been a knight for a fortnight.” No biggie right? Get your shit together man. Just a small climb to the top of the Dark Wizard’s tower, kill the all-powerful, evil angry wizard and rescue the Princess…. “Shit.” \n \n Thump! The door shakes. Thump! Thump! Wood splinters inward. A large man in gleaming armor stands in the doorway. Sword in one hand, A chuckling tree intricately painted on a shield in his other.\n\n“Princess! I am here to save you!” Across the room the knight sees her, facing away from him gently weeping. Beautiful hair so blonde it’s almost white, cascading down over a puffy pink blood stained dress.\n\n“Oh my hero!” The Princess rushes in to embrace Galaheart.\n\n“It was nothing my lady. Just doing my job” Returning the powerful embrace. “Now, time to return you to your rightful place beside the King.” Good line Galaheart, now keep it cool, don’t screw this up.\n\n“Please your highness, is the Wizard near?”\n\n“Very.”\n\nA hooded figure appears from behind a wall at the far end of the dim room, glowing red staff in hand, gliding across the floor as easily as an apparition.\n\n“I will protect you my lady. Quickly! Behind my rear quarters and I shall defend your maidenhood! FOR THE KING!”\n\nGalaheart, lunges with his sword. A murderous downward strike meaning to rip the wizard apart from shoulder to hip. He trips on a small cauldron lying on the floor. His sword flies from his grip and clanks to the ground.\n\nRaucous laughter explodes from the hooded Wizard. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry my Dark-one! I couldn’t hold it in. This guy is such a freakin’ joke!” \n\nThe Princess drops the hood, revealing herself to Galaheart.\n\n“P-princess! I could have-have…” Galaheart stammers.\n\n“Killed you?” A dark voice from behind purrs.\n\nGalaheart turns. The hair is not white, it is grey. The exact color of his own complexion at that moment. Galaheart’s body rocks forward and coughs. Blood sprays into the Dark Wizard’s face. He licks the blood off his own lips.\n\n“Well now, don’t you look foolish good sir.” The Dark Wizard says as he curtsey in his puffy pink blood stained dress.\n\nGalaheart looks down and sees his own sword protruding through his midsection from just under his armor plate.\n\nWith his final breath Galaheart whispers “Fuck me.”\n \n\nSorry if formatting is screwy. On mobile!\n ", "Serel chokes on the stench of burnt flesh when she steps through the door. Summoning a breeze pushes away the worst of the smoke, but not the smell. \n\nPrincess Regalia stands stark naked at the bottom of the manor steps yet again. \"Lia,\" Serel sighs. She conjures a cloak as she descends. \"You could have just waited for me, you know, instead of casting that spell. You still haven't worked the quirks out.\" \n\nRegalia turns to take the cloak, grinning wickedly. \"But I so adore the look on their faces when they discover their beloved princess knows magic now!\" She snorts. \"As if I'd ever go back to that old hum-drum of a father. He hasn't thought about change since he executed Mother.\" \n\nSerel, after eyeing the half-dozen charred corpses, casts a summoning spell. A scant few seconds later, the rocks surrounding the manor entrance shift towards each other and stand as two golems, taller than her by far. \"Yes, well, do try to remember I don't have unlimited ability to repair my manor, if you will.\" She casts the princess a long side glance as they step back indoors, the golems removing the bodies behind them. \"I kidnapped you for a reason.\"\n\n\"Yes, yes, ransom. How boring, Sere! Couldn't you have been a wicked, dashing sort of wizard, out after my maiden goodness?\" Regalia demands, propping her hands on her hips -- with no regard for the lack of clothing beneath.\n\nSerel chokes on her laughter. \"You, Lia, a maiden? I think all the kingdom knew you to be a full woman years past!\" Delicately, she averts her eyes from the other woman's... admittedly tempting figure.\n\n\"That doesn't mean you can't threaten my virtue!\" Lia whines so loudly she can hear the pout. Then the princess slams into her back. \"C'mon, grand wizard! Show me naughty things! It's the only reason I let you kidnap me!\"\n\nAlready used to this after only a month, Serel forces her thoughts away from the princess's pressing body and asks, \"Would you like to perfect Fiery Annihilation, or move on to Dagger Rain?\" \n\n\"Hmmm...\" Lia contemplates, and goes quiet for a moment.\n\nSerel sighs again, and thinks, Of all the princesses to kidnap, I chose this one! ", "\"Okay, but how though?\"\n\nA short explanation that tearing apart the fabric of the universe is child's play wasn't enough to placate a child. That did make sense and Herrok chides himself for allowing himself to get into this argument in the first place.\n\nNormally, he had hidden the princess away from the gore and catastrophe that he set upon the wayward knights of Avendale. Truthfully, he felt love for his daughter and wanted to keep her innocent. The inevitability of his blood had been too much, it seemed, so Herrok had thrown himself into teaching. Her face had a few drops of blood from the hand she was inspecting above her head.\n\nAndrosi Lucephine. That was the name Herrok had given to his daughter when Her had taken her from Castle Aven. It had been a strange night of revenge and magic that lead to her birth by the King's wife, Freid. While the king was furious that his precious \"Gemma\" had been kidnapped, the girl herself was happy.\n\n\"Androsi, would you like to see if you can learn some spells?\"\n\nIt was an easy enough test. A reagent of any real power, normally a gemstone, can be used to tell whether someone has an aptitude for magic. Herrok was certain that being of his lineage would make Androsi an immensely powerful magi, should she wish. When held over a flame, it's reaction would show what magic a person could most easily focus on. The intensity of the reaction showed their overall aptitude for the manipulation for mana.\n\nShe excitedly agreed and listened to a basic explanation of what she needed to do. She set off to find her \"favourite stone in this castle.\" Herrok cleaned up the mess that had been Sir Matthau and pondered over the future. He hadn't dabbled much into immortality, as those avenues tended to lend to the loss of emotion. While much of Herrok Lucephine's hexes and grand magicks were of a dark nature, he was well and truly a fire mage at heart. His passions burned, and he passionately hated most things. It was strange for him to want to nuture, but he thought he enjoyed it.\n\nHerrok had retired to his study. Sitting down, he was finding himself excited, waiting for Androsi to learn. The eight year old's dark hair bounced as she jumped into the room and proudly held a most profound item. It was the Sword of Aven. I had stolen it on one of my many assaults on the nation, it was a priceless heirloom to it's rulers.\n\n\"Well. Quite auspicious tastes, little one.\"\n\n\"What's auspicious, mean?\"\n\n\"Absolutely nothing. Okay, so, if the fire stays the same colour but gets hotter, then you're a firekind.\" It didn't really matter what happened to the fire, this was only a rudimentary test that essentially just proved how much mana you could draw. They tore the grand sapphire from the sword's hilt and Androsi looked through it.\n\n\"What about that black stuff you did earlier?\" Herrok had assumed that his daughter would have been repulsed by the carnage that gravity magic had caused but she'd been as excited as he had when he set his first fire. It made him nostalgic as he prepared the fire for his daughter.\n\n\"That was gravity, the fire would get smaller and change to a hot blue for a gravomancer.\" The words he'd made up for the different focuses had made her smile, so Herrok kept doing it. He'd jokingly said mermaids for water but she complained that wouldn't be fair to the mermen. Windriders and coldarrans, stormbringers and gardenkeepers. The different aspects of magic flowed out in this explanation until Androsi knew most of the possibilities it could bring.\n\n\"Wow. I think... I want to be a new one.\" She said, as she held the sapphire on the fire. Instantly the flames froze, not like ice but as though it's time had stopped. Androsi was confused but when she saw my excitement for her she began to smile. He'd seen this once before, and the flame had only slowed. Originally Herrok and Freid had thought that she possessed a form of water magic but it became clear it was more than that.\n\n\"A natural, powerful chronomancer. Androsi, you're going to be incredible!\" Machinations and plans began forming in Herrok's mind. His land was small, his subjects very few. With Androsi at his side, he was already envisioning ruling the country.\n\n\"Well, whatever,\" Androsi said, lowering the sapphire and pocketing it. \"I'm bored now. Can I see the dragon again?\"\n\n\"Anything you want.\" Domination could wait, he'd got excited again. First, she had to be taught.", "The knight in shining armour, around the 7th(?) this month, held his sword to my neck.\n\n\"Any last words, scoundrel?\"\n\nThis knight was particularly smart, opting to catch me off guard in my sleep. I could tell he was from Agres, known for their proficiency in the magical arts, which also explained how he had gotten past the many traps i had laid around my castle.\n\nRaising my hands, i sighed.\n\"Well done coming this far, oh valiant knight in shining armour, i assume you're here for the Princess?\"\n\nAh yes, the Princess of Marin, Alya, which i had stolen from her castle all those years ago. On her 16th birthday i had crashed the party and stolen her away, leaving note demanding riches, food, all the like. Hey, even dark wizards had to eat, right? Most people went to work for a measly income, i just decided that kidnap and ransom was a better source of money! Surely that can be understood? But of course, instead of simply paying the ransom, the King had issued a declaration of whoever could retrieve the Princess could have her hand in marriage. Only proved how little he actually loved his daughter.\n\n\"Of course! You will tell me where she is, then i shall grant you a swift death as mercy!\"\n\nThe knight's shouts jolted me from my memories.\n\n\"Ooh. Hm...i'm afraid i do not know of her current whereabouts.\"\n\nI could tell he was confused by my answer, even with his helmet covering most of his face.\n\n\"Impossible! I even made you drink a Truth potion! How do you not know where she is?\"\n\nThe door to my bedroom creaks open, and i hastily cover the noise with a cough.\nI could see a person in my peripheral vision, though i didn't dare to move my eyes from the knight that stood above my bed.\n\n\"Well then, since i do not know where the Princess is, would you be nice and let me leave? I do have an appointment with Magnus the Black i should get to preparing for.\"\n\nI kept still, wary of the blade at my neck.\n\n\"Fine. After i kill you, i shall look for Princess Alya myself! Now, in the hands of John the Valiant, your life will be-\"\n\nBefore he could finish his sentence and pull his sword across my throat, a sudden force crashed into his head, knocking him out cold. His body crashed into me, pressing me into my bed.\n\n\"Alya, dear, you do know that if he had tried to kill me my amulet would blow him up, right?\"\n\nI grin, looking at the Princess. Her face is put into a scowl, framed by her lush locks of brown. Truly a beautiful sight to start the day with. Pity, if i were younger maybe i would have a chance to romance her.\n\n\"...Oh. I forgot about that. Sorry, Bryan. I did make breakfast though!\"\n\n\"Thank you very much dear, now can i have my staff back?\"\n\nAlya passes me my staff, which she had just used to knock John out moments ago.\n\n\"Now what do you propose we do with this one?\"\n\nShe shrugs as she leaves my bedside, off to get the breakfast she had left outside my door.\n\"Don't care anymore. I just wish Father would just give up.\"\n\nI wave my staff, and the armoured body that laid on me turned into a mass of butterflies, which leave through the open window John had climbed in through. A younger me would have burnt him to a crisp with hellfire, but i could tell my ways had changed after Alya entered my life.\nShe comes back into my room to witness the last of the insects flutter out the window, a tray balanced on each hand, containing our breakfast. She insisted on cooking for the both of us, which i really couldn't complain about to be honest. It was certainly much better than the food i had magicked up while i was still living alone.\n\nI get up and stretch, my body cracking, proof of my old age. These days, i had to use my staff as a cane. Moving to the table across the room, i sit down and dig into the fruits and baked goods Alya had prepared. The first time she had cooked, it was revealed that she had spent a lot of her youth in the kitchens, for a lack of a better thing to pass the time. Her father had never really approved her actions, but he cared little about her, allowing Alya to sneak out of her royal duties to learn to bake. 'Dancing won't keep your belly full', she reasoned. The morning air was filled with our chatter as opposed to the silence of many years ago.\n\nObviously, Alya loved living with me more than being a princess, and i certainly enjoy her company. The rest of the land can fret about their missing princess all they want, but i'd rather they just go fuck themselves.", "\"Your traps on the ninth floor,\" Princess Gwendolyn began, looking up from the dusty Tome she had requisitioned for herself. \"They have several obvious weakpoints. Why?\"\n\n\nI leaned up from my cauldron, looking less eager to answer than before. It had started as a simple gig. Help the king get paid. I had done it before, and it worked marvelously- his wife survived the birth of his third child, and there was healthy boy running about the halls of a palace.\n\n\nBut the King got greedy. He started to overtax my estate. His knights began to grow more daring. He changed religions. It was then I decided to move. But alas, I needed the money. I sought the king's approval, and was quickly denied. His knights even set my wagon on fire to demonstrate their natural distrust of me.\n\n\nI originally kidnapped the King's daughter as a hearty \"fuck you.\"\n\n\nI did not expect her to stay.\n\n\nShe had long, flowing green hair. Her face was as pristine as the tallest of bard's tales. Were I younger man, I would probably be more open to her.\n\n\nBut she was learning too much.\n\n\nShe was tearing through my library.\n\n\nShe was brewing her first potions.\n\n\nShe was indulging in the witchcraft that I was not ready to surrender.\n\n\nAt first, I tried locking her away. She seemed miffed about it, but she leaned enough runework to start undoing my alarming charms.\n\n\nNext, I tried sealing away the books. When her limited knowledge failed her, she began climbing around the exterior on a complicated set of vines to reach the library's window.\n\n\nBy this point, I began to wonder if it was not too late to return to the palace grounds and exchange her for that snot-nosed brat.\n\n\n\"Melchior,\" she interrupted my ruminations with that singsong voice of hers. \"There's mention of an anti-aging spell in here. Its treating it as a cure...\"\n\n\n\"Gwendolyn, that's the proposals from the Witch Hecate. Nobody followed through on her researched because she believed she created a potion that made male frogs fornicate.\"\n\n\n\"That sounds like an amusing potion,\" Gwendolyn pouted. Goodness she seemed like such an unassuming pup when she did that. \n\n\n\"You can't just make an animal switch their gender of preference. Those frogs were born with the innate ability to change genders as required by the external environment,\" I began to lecture. This always happened. We would start with one subject, and I would end up lecturing her on another. She began to take out her ratty notebook, one of the money I had given her during her stay, quill following along animatedly.\n\n\n\"Alright, fine, here's your lesson for the day- Magic is best used when it acts in conjunction with nature, and does not try to pervert. Now, do you remember three weeks ago when I told you that you were not, under any circumstances, allowed to make a love potion?\" She nodded far too eagerly.\n\n\n\"So,\" I began to delve into the science of the human body. I know how odd that might sound- Magic, after all, is suppose to a miraculous force. It could be used to accomplish just about anything, save cure the common cold and revive the dead. Her interest in it was only natural- her daily life, as she described it, was perhaps of the dullest human experiences I have ever considered.\n\n\nShe did not even get to sit in on Political debates. What use was living in the bureaucratic zoo if you couldn't watch the wildlife gnaw at each other's throats? Instead she was kept like a doll. Dressed up, cared for, and pampered like a porcelain homunculus. Really, what was the point of even having a child if you taught them nothing? Did not even play with them... was a child not supposed to be a product of one's careful rearing?\n\n\nThe Princess listened intently as I dallied my tongue about the greater issues of treating nature poorly. \"If you bring forth something that defies nature, you will spend the rest of your time defending it from nature. Its why reincarnation never works- sure, you bring the soul back, the tendons are taut with rigor, the brain decayed and still. In fact, since you mention Hec-\"\n\n\nThe wall of my castle shook as the peal of a horn blasted through the relative peace and comfort of my invaded study. I looked to the Princess. She beamed right back. This was her favorite part of the week, it seemed- watching magic in action. I stood up and trudged towards the window sill. At the base of my homey tower stood a troop of men in gleaming armor. One with a particularly pompous helm stepped forth. I did not recognize this one- I suppose his predecessor must have died that one time the Princess announced the floor was lava. \n\n\nThe stench of burnt ozone still drifts through the floor of my workshop.\n\n\nThe Princess stepped up to the sill as well. \"Hark knights! Do you still seek to imprison me in the King's halls?\" she cried down upon the assorted knights. The knight up front removed his helm.\n\n\n\"Princess Gwendolyn,\" I heard a honeyed voice waver up to the study. \"The mad wizard has cast you under a spell. Please, come down from there, your mother worries so.\"\n\n\n\"My mother would worry more if a platypus ate her fabrigee eggs!\" Gwendolyn scoffed. \"I'm sick of the castle, and you can't make me leave!\" she announced heartily. \"... but please, do try.\" I pulled Gwendolyn away from the window, mouth ready to placate the angry horde of plated men, but one look at the man that called upon the princess convinced me otherwise.\n\n\nI took a step back from the window and turned to the Princess. I crossed my arms and sighed. She bore a worryingly excited grin, her energy near palpable. \"Very well,\" I relented. \"You may set more traps on the ninth floor.\"", "\"HOW IN THE SEVEN HELLS DID YOU EVEN OPEN THEIR CAGE?!\" \n \nThe words echoed throughout a obscenely large castle on a distant mountain in a dark and gloomy wasteland. \n \nThe Grandshadow roared it so loud he felt a irritating yet not unbearable ach were his forehead would have met his eyes. If he had a forehead. He was pretty sure the heavens heard him but his own personal hell was completely oblivious to his exasperation. \n\nShe sat in the middle of a cage large enough to hold three maybe four ogres. A delicate creature with fair skin and hair even more fair. Her dress was stark white in contrast to eyes darker than any abyss the Grandshadow had the pleasure of gazing upon. Her dress unnaturally clean in a grime filled cell. \nMagically clean actually. Within an hour or so of getting her to his lair she started nagging him with the most ridiculous magical demands. Started with conjuring her some wine and next thing he knew he was enchanting her dress to resist all and every type of grime known to the cosmos. He certainly never intended to meet any of her ridiculous demands. He did not however take into consideration that princesses are the most annoying monsters to walk the earth. To ease his aching mind he just started granting her magical whims without hesitation. Sometimes barely letting her finish the commands before waving a tendril and making it so. \n\nHis newest wonder in the world is how the most powerful dark wizard to ever exist; gets a head ach without even having a head!. \n\nHe traded his body for a sentient shadow form eons ago. He found it far more efficient not to need things to eat or places to deficate.\n\nThe princesses dress was enchanted so well that the tar like drool coming from her new pets mouth simply slide off and pooled around her. Making it as if she sat in old blood. Her new pet lay on his back with one claw slapping at the air in pleasure and its barbed tongue hanging happily out of its serrated jaws. A Hell hound pup the size of small horse had its head on her lap and made the lowest of pleasurable rumble like growls in response to the princesses delicate hand scratching steadily along his jaw. \n\nThe Grandshadow had found that his usual tendency to yell his frustration at things did very little with the princess other than give him a migraine. She would pretend not to hear until he spoke as a human would. Thus he tried again in the sweetest voice a evil entity could muster. \n\n\" Princess Thornella may I ask how you opened the Hell hounds cage? And perhaps why?\" The end of his question came out more as a hiss but the princess felt inclined to reply none the less. \n\n\" They looked bored, and this darling was just begging to be cuddled!\" \nHer voice had a haunting effect on the wizard he has yet to place. Both sweet as poison and cold as ice it made the girl sound possessed. She wasn't though the Shadow checked already.\n\n\"They are creatures of death and war princess, they do not want cuddled they want to kill and maim. That young one must be a simpler more deformed pup to behave so\" \n\nThe princess gasped and glared into the hooded void that stands as the shadows face. \n\n\"He is not simple! He is darling! Look at him!\" She point at the pup who at this point has a snot bubble expanding out one nostril. She doesn't notice though and continues to scold the wizard.\n\n\"If you let them out every now and then they would be less aggressive! Spook you are not a very good dog owner!\" \nShe stands quickly, the pups head smacks the ground with a dull thump. He doesn't move though. He may or may not be snoring or fluctuating its hard to tell which. \n\n\"The are not dogs! The are demons! If I let them out they kill things! There is nothing for them to kill right now!\" The shadows voice is raised but still even as to avoid the pain in his face area. He continues as the princess stomps passed him clenched fists and chin high. \n\n\"They will kill each other now! I will have to summon a whole new set!\" \nShe swings around hands on her hips she smiles a most unsettling smile. \n\n\"No they won't. I told them not to. I told them to go kill the knights who are surely coming to get me!\" \nShe spins around again so fast her hair whips the wizards robe. Walking down a unlit corridor he floats behind her.\n\n\"Why would you do that?! Do you not want rescued?\" He is far more confused than he sounds but feels he cannot let her know that. \n\n\"No\" she stops at a window and leans on its sill. Looking out into the wastes she looks haunted and almost sad. When the shadow doesn't say anything she continues.\n\n\"Life in the kingdom is boring, I am expected to be gracefull, sweet, kind. I am all those things I am the princess after all. Sometimes though I want to bash a maids face in. Sometimes I want to light the fake nobles on fire and watch them dance. I don't want to wear a mask anymore.\" Her eyes stare at the jagged horizon lost in thought. The moon reflects in the dark waters of her eyes and his moats hell fires dance across her face. He stares at her for a moment, remembering a feeling very simular long, long ago. A memory hundreds of years older than his memory of having a body. \n\n\" you may remain my prisoner as long as you wish princess\" he said it gently and without thought. He coughed knowing he doesn't actually have an esophagus. \"I mean you will remain my prisoner until I see fit\" he corrects himself sternly.\n\nShe heard him the first time though and looks straight into his none existent eyes. She does not smile nor frown though she does nod slightly. He's not sure if its in thanks or understanding. \n\n\"You still havn't told me how you got the cage open princess\" he says, frustration creeping back into his tone.\n\n\"Oh! I convinced one of the demon guards to open it\" her voice is bubbly as boiling icor.\n\n\"Wait really?!\" He is completely baffled \"but that would kill the demon\" \n\n\"Yes! I know that now, it looked rather painfull\" she supplies innocently. \n\nThe Grandshadow tries to imagine how she convinced one of his demons to off itself so easily. He gives up with shudder after a silence though.\n\n\"Remind me to summon smarter demons princess\" he states, as if to a apprentice or secretary. \n\n\"Summon smarter demons, spook\" the princess tells him with wry smile.", "\"Did you see that guy's face melt? That was fucking sick! We've gotta do it again some time!\" Bellowed Princess Iolyn joyously as she gave a high-five to Baxel the Minotaur. \n\nThey seemed rather proud of their kill as they had spent the better part of two hours with slingshots lugging tiny acid marbles at some unfortunate chivalrous fellow that had ironically journeyed here to rescue her. While I do encourage such activities the anguished screams of a knight slowly melting to death became irritating after the first fifteen minutes. Far be it for me to spoil the fun though. I just wish they'd be a bit quieter. I at least had the common courtesy to soundproof my torture room for this exact reason.\n\n\"Oh! Nozrac! Did you see that loser we turned into acid soup! Pretty awesome right?\" Iolyn cheered as she addressed me. While I'd usually strike down any mere human with the audacity to utter my name without proper title this chipper young beauty was a rare exception. Iolyn may have the body a gorgeous young princess, but her soul was that of a malevolent demoness. \n\n\"Yes, yes, I saw. And heard.\" I scolded lightly.\n\n\"Oh come on, that was music to the ears. Baxel couldn't stop shaking his bum the entire time!\" Iolyn defended with a deceptively innocent smile. I'm not sure I'd ever seen a Minotaur blush before. It was enjoyably disturbing. \n\nThat's what I like about her most. She brings a certain atmosphere with her. For centuries my assorted minions and I had simply indulged our blood-lust with senseless drunken murder and mayhem. With Iolyn though we found a way to express our more reserved selves. Before she came along I never would have imagined Baxel the stomach-ripping Minotaur to be capable of blushing, or really showing any emotion whatsoever beyond hunger. Now look at him, perky as a schoolboy. She was a keeper for sure.\n\nI'd been debating whether or not I should transfuse her body into a true monster. She might enjoy having wings and pointy claws. On the other hand none of my minions had the dangerously deceptive look of innocence she carried with her. A minion that can pass magical barriers without losing her human disguise could prove useful. I suppose only time will tell with this one.\n\n\"Oh! I almost forgot! Baxel you go ahead and prepare lunch, I need a word with the master.\" Iolyn offered as she seemed to remember a sensitive subject to discuss with me. Baxel, the ever obedient Minotaur, gave an understanding nod before stumbling off to undoubtedly make nifty little sandwiches for Iolyn and raw pigs meat for himself. With a hop and skip the young princess bound over to me as I stood at the ramparts watching the last bubbles of an acid puddle pop under the sunlight. You have to enjoy the little things when you're immortal.\n\n\"Yes my dear?\" I inquired as Iolyn approached. \n\nShe was rather striking for a girl of only seventeen. I personally prefer my women to be a bit thicker, and of course, to have horns and talons. Though Iolyn was appealing in her own regards. Weighing no more than a small sack of rocks at around five and half feet tall and sporting thick braids of bright blonde hair. Fair skin, azure eyes, adorable little freckles scattered about her dimpled face, and gleaming white teeth indicative of someone with good dietary habits. She was truly the image of what one might expect a princess to look.\n\nIf she wasn't so demented it would disgust me. But knowing she would claw her way into a grown mans stomach and eat out his intestines simply for the thrill of it made the whole portrait fit together. She was sort of like a little bunny rabbit that hops around tearing out peoples throats.\n\n\"So...\" Iolyn began as she stopped before me. Hands behind her back, one leg crossed over the other, and looking down to avoid eye contact. Simply adorable. Mostly because I liked to imagine she was holding a dagger behind her with the intent to kill me to claim my kingdom. I can respect that kind of ambition. \"You're not really going to hand me back over if the king pays the ransom, right?\" She asked with what seemed like genuine concern.\n\nTo be honest I'd completely forgotten I was even holding her captive. It had been three weeks since I made the offer to the king and in that time the only response I'd gotten had been the slow stream of knights marching to their deaths at my gate. And I really couldn't even tell if he was the king that had sent them, lots of kings were trying to kill me after all. \n\nHer question made me feel something I'd not thought capable of feeling. \n\nPride.\n\nHere was this princess that had been pampered and groomed her entire life, standing before me, in a blood-soaked and tattered dress with a slingshot in hand that she'd just used to dissolve some unsuspecting knight sent to rescue her. And her only concern was being forced to leave. I've had children before, some of them feral beasts that I'd kept locked in the dungeon, and some good old fashioned half-breeds intent on one day killing me to claim my power.\n\nAnd now I had Iolyn. For some reason I couldn't help but feel like we were one in the same. Two souls cut from the same cloth. The kind of souls that make you watch as we shove out fists down your lovers throat and rip out their heart. I could imagine myself spending the next century grooming her to take my throne. We were family at first kidnapping.\n\n\"Hand you back over? Hmm...\" I paused in mock thought as I grinned to myself. \"I suppose if he pays the ransom I'll have to keep my word.\" I claimed with false nobility as I waved my hands about and loomed over her.\n\nIolyn's fists seemed to clench with frustration at my decision. Her instinctual reaction to disappointment is violence, I'm so proud right now I could cry.\n\n\"Though...\" I dragged on to bait her. \"No, no, that's to evil even for me.\"\n\n\"What!\" Iolyn perked up, curiosity filling her face. \"What's to evil? Surely not! There's no such thing! Oh, please tell me!\" Iolyn pleaded with fascination as I looked out over the dead forest surrounding my desolate kingdom. She quickly reached out and gripped my belt as she begged with puppy-dog eyes. She failed to realize that I noticed her hands placed conveniently close to the sword on my hip. My chest was so swollen with pride it could burst at any moment.\n\n\"I suppose the king never specified which princess I had to return.\" I clarified with a devious grin.\n\nIolyn, excited but confused, remained silent yet poised to strike out at me should she dislike my plan. Patient, prepared, and poisonous, dammit this girl really knew how to pull at my decrepit heart-strings. \n\n\"You lost your elder sister to the plague a few harvest seasons back, correct?\" I asked knowing fully-well that I was right. After all it was my plague.\n\nIolyn nodded with a smile of anticipation.\n\n\"I'm sure your king would graciously accept her return in your place. A beloved eldest daughter returned from death, such a lovely tale.\" I mused aloud as the nefarious plan formed within my mind.\n\n\"You can resurrect the dead?\" Iolyn inquired with fascination. \n\n\"Of course, my dear. Heaven and hell fear my power and bow to my will, no soul, here or there, is safe from my spite.\" I boasted. It had taken a long time to achieve my level of power and I wasted no opportunity to gloat about it. \"I can return the dead to this world in perfect condition and let them live out a fulfilled and natural life reborn.\"\n\nIolyn seemed a bit confused by this remark as it wasn't even remotely vile or treacherous. Much like herself, this plan was seemingly innocent, yet unbelievably horrific.\n\n\"Or...\" I continued. \"I can bring them back as a revenant.\" \n\nIolyn obviously had no idea what I was talking about but understood the evil implications enough to brighten up with a wide smile. \"What's that?\" She asked with renewed eagerness.\n\n\"It's certainly not a princess.\" I replied with a hearty laugh. \n\n\n\n\n \n\n \n\n", "You're woken up at the crack of - ok, fine, fine, at a good solid 9 in the morning, but still solidly before your usual wakeup time - early again by the sound of your chamber door slamming open.\n\n\"Kor! Do you have any mandrake root on hand? I found a really cool recipe on hand in the library and -\" You groan softly, pressing your pillow tighter over your head as you try to shut the noise out.\n\nFootsteps walk over to the edge of your bed, muffled against the luxurious carpet you hand-enchanted to keep out assassins. They stop. There's a pause, then more softly the princess says, \"Also... the brownies made that bread with dried fruit in it last night.\" She pauses again, waiting for a response that just isn't coming as you burrow deeper into your bedsheets. \"C'mon,\" she says, with a little waver in her voice. Is she... laughing at you? Gods forbid. \n\nIt's the hand reaching out to brush against your shoulder that breaks your composure, and you squawk like an oversized chicken in reaction. \"Get out! Get! I'll be down in a minute,\" you yelp, suddenly extremely aware of the fact you left your bathrobe (and by extension, your dignity) halfway across the room last night. This time, she definitely laughs as she sprints back out the door. You silently curse every god on the great mount for your decisions.\n\nBy the time you get to the kitchen the bread is half gone, but there's eggshells in the trash, and a thing of yellowish liquid and a still-oiled pan are placed suggestively next to the loaf. You sigh, then go about making yourself the breakfast suggested before (once again) trying to clean the tiny summoning circle from under the cubboard. A dark wizard's tower is no place for blasted kitchen spirits, after all. You scrub a good millimeter off the wood before you think to look closer at the thing, then curse in frustration when you realize the marks were made with a transmutation spell that goes the whole way through the counter. You just don't have time to deal with this today. Also, you think you can hear the princess laughing somewhere nearby.\n\nYou contemplate going to the library as is, egg-spattered robe and all, before deciding that would give the royal pest too much ammunition for yet more practical jokes. Can't go too fancy either though. Learned that the last time you wore a proper outfit around the pest. She never said anything, but you could feel judgmental eyes looking you up and down the whole time. What, was she expecting you to have muscles or something? You're a wizard. You live in a tower. Most of your work is done by minions. Of course you don't.\n\nThe mandrake-potion turns out to take a good hour for you to work out. You have no idea how the woman found the thing; the book was buried in the back of the stacks and still festooned with a hearty layer of dust when she handed it to you, and you can't remember ever having read a word of the thing before. Nonetheless, the thing is conceptually fascinating. You generally don't deal in hallucination magic, but a targeted vision of finding true love? Now, that - that has applications. Before you know it, proper midmorning sun is streaming through the tower window, and the two of you have pulled out almost all of your alchemy gear while trying to figure out whether the brew can be made in less than a fortnight.\n\nAs you're rummaging around on a high shelf, you catch her face out of the corner of your eye. Looking at you, not the book on the table in front of her. The hand idly propping up her chin is covering her mouth, so you can't read her expression, but the gleam in her eyes makes you think she's laughing at you again. \"What're you staring at?\" you demand, whipping around to stare her in the face as you indignantly fix your shirt.\n\n\"Nothing! Geez, calm down,\" she replies, glancing away in a second to go back to furious study. You get a good twenty minutes of complete silence out of that little interaction, although the back of your neck is still burning. You're Koren the King-Killer. You're a fury to behold in battle as fire rains down from above and fae rise from below. You are definitely not funny.\n\nYou're setting up an alembic and she's tightening the screws on a wayward faucet-hook when a trumpet blares from somewhere down in the courtyard. The princess curses a blue streak.\n\n\"Now, now, my dear, language,\" you say, smugly. You breeze out the door without a backward glance, using a light Push spell to slam the door home and close the bar. You hear \"Can we at least finish the potion first, you bastard?\" from somewhere behind you, but no scrabbling at the door this time. Huh. You guess she's finally learned she's not getting out that easy!\n\nIt's a matter of a moment to summon the armor that makes you look so otherworldly in public and strikes fear into the hearts of your enemies, and then you're down all the stairs in a flash and trotting through the doors with glee.\n\nThere he is: a young knight, family crest clear-painted in all its glory, armor burnished to a golden gleam that perfectly compliments the palomino warhorse he rides. \"Koren Kin-Killer! Koren Crowncracker! Koren of the Hills! I come to face you for the honor and glory of the people - I come for the return of Lady Lily!\"\n\n\"Very well. By battle, or bargain?\" you reply.\n\n\"Bargain. I have exactly what you desired,\" the young lord replies, beginning to unhook an intricately carved casket from his horse. Your heart speeds up in glee. \"To be handed over upon the safe release of the good Lady.\"\n\nYou mutter \"You don't know the half of it\" under your breath as you cast the spell to pull the princess from there to here. With a blink, she arrives in the summoning circle. You walk over elegantly and take her hand. She quivers a little in reaction. You make a point of bowing down to kiss her knuckles just to hear the knight behind you growl in disgust. \"And now, it's time for you to return to your rightful home, m'lady,\" you say, leading her toward the knight. Her hand is very cold, and grasps yours very tightly, but when you present her directly to the knight, she does let go.\n\nThe knight roughly shoves the little chest into your hands so he can grab the princess and swing her up behind him in the saddle. \"The deal is done. Remember, you promised to leave us safe passage out. No backstabbing now.\" The princess's smile is plastic.\n\n\"But of course, brave knight,\" you reply. As they ride away, princess gazing back at you with those disturbingly cunning eyes, you mouth \"Bye Bye!\" and make an accompanying sarcastic half-wave, then set to digging into the chest until the two are safely out of view.\n\nAs you stroll back in through the main door you permit yourself a jaunty little whistle. You can't believe how long it took to be rid of that... girl. She'd been trouble since the start, from the part where she tried to bash your head in with a silver candlestick when you teleported in to kidnap her to the third time she cast an illusion spell - giant tentacles with wicked spines, if you recall correctly - to scare off a knight. \n\nYou take the afternoon to clean. First the alchemy gear - for gods' sake, why did you think that potion was worth squat? You could easily just cast the same spell a few times and be done with it - then the copious wards keeping her from leaving the grounds, then the ones for keeping things from entering while she was out in the garden. After a few moments of silence for the time you'd be going back to spending cooking you chip the brownie summoning circle out of the counter. You don't bother throwing out the things she'd been working on, but you don't bother sorting them either. She was good for something, at least - her sense for spell creation was decent, if amateur. \n\nCleaning is so satisfying. You hadn't even realized how much she'd reorganized your furniture until you set about putting it to rights, and her ever-spreading mess of scribbled papers always set you subtly on edge. It didn't help that she was always doodling little cartoons of you in the margins - for gods sake, that's definitely not what your rear looked like, and you'd never even worn a costume like that in front of her, wherever did that come from.\n\nYour bed that night is a blessed realm of peace and quiet, velvety sheets and down comforter wrapping around you like a slice of heaven itself as you fall into a deep, uninterrupted sleep for the first time in m-\n\nYou wake up with a start as one of your alarms goes off. Someone's in the inner courtyard. Stumbling down and out as rapidly as you can, only sparing a single thought to grab your coverup as you pass the bedroom door, you ready yourself for a fight. Bursting through the archway, your gut drops through your feet as you realize a nightmare so great you hadn't even thought of it before.\n\nThere's a royal riding-dragon in your courtyard. The mud-smirched figure perched at the base of its neck expertly slides off to run over to you, waving a scroll and brandishing a clearly full satchel. \"Guess what! I brought a friend this time!\" the princess shouts with glee.\n\nSomething inside of you breaks as you realize just precisely how much you've screwed up." ]	8
I couldn’t think of a good way that he remembers himself... maybe y’all have one? :)	[WP] Your father was the King of Demons, but when he was slain, the heroes wiped your memory and adopted you to fight for good. Years later, you suddenly remember who you truly are.	[ " \"You OK? I mean, you just found out I killed your father, the bloody Lord of Demons, wiped your memory, and adopted you, and th- are you reaching for the bloody coffee?\" Jonas asked. \n Just the other day, Horus had been visited by a demon vassal and was told of his heritage, and the name of the man who had slain his father. \n \"I'm bloody fine. Plus, I don't blame you, those demons are arses. Also the smell of that place...ugh, I'd rather sleep in the city sewer,\" Horus replied. \"You raised me, why would I care about some wack job who died fifteen years ago?\" \n \"Wait. Really? You are sure you are mad at me, like as sure the sky is blue sure?\" Jonas had contorted his face to that of someone more puzzled than if they were made out of interlocking pieces. \n \"Yep.\" \n Jonas sighed, reaching for the coffee that was set on the table. Before, he could reached it, Horus snatched it into his hand, glaring at Jonas. \n \"I might change my mind if you try that again,\" Horus jokingly threatened. \n They both laughed. \n Horus walked over the cabinet and began rumaging around, until he pulled out a bowl of apples. He threw one to Jonas, then reached into grab one for him self, but found nothing. He shrugged, walking to his room, returning with a monster mask they had found at a festival once. Wearing the mask, he turned around the look at Jonas. \n \"Give me that apple, peasant! So says The Heir to the Demon!\" He roared. \"Hand it over now, mortal!\" \n Jonas mockingly drew his sword. \"Never vile beast! If I die, I will take it down to Hell with me!\" \n They laughed once again, this time almost falling to the floor. \n \n If you enjoyed the story, check out my sub: r/strafesscraps", "Lightning cracked the skies, and thunder exploded overhead almost instantly--the backdrop for the vast battle on the ground below. Hordes of demons poured from the yawning chasm in the ground, flames and lava shooting up from the abyss. On the horizon, a small group of brilliantly arrayed soldiers stood firm.\n\n\"Ready,\" said one of them. I nodded quietly as the snarling, screaming horde advanced. The team behind me raised their hands to the sky and chanted slowly, and I began building energy. A white light broke through the clouds and cacophony of the storm, surrounding us in holy energy. I put my hands out before me, and drawing on the light around us and the team of chanters behind me, I unleashed a violent, massive wave of unrelenting starlight.\n\nThe light exploded upon the demons like a shockwave. Before they could react, the pulse of energy washed over them, and they became as vapor, shadows in the inexorable brightness.\n\nWhen the light faded, only two or three demons remained. They were writhing in excruciating pain, missing limbs, and heavily scarred. One of them had gotten rather close, and had locked eyes with me. The soldiers moved towards him, ready to put him out of his misery. Something made me pause, and I held my arm out to the side, halting them momentarily.\n\nThe demon was practically a corpse, but he was still trying to live long enough to say something. The pain in his eyes made me feel compassion, something I can't say I had ever felt for the horde that had reduced our population to mere dozens. I leaned down close to him, and he finally managed to speak.\n\n\"Why, Haborym? Why do you destroy your own kind?\"\n\n\"What did you call me?\" I said, something deep in me rising, feeling something was horribly wrong.\n\n\"Haborym...what happened to you?\"\n\n\"What are you talking about?\" I demanded.\n\nOne of the soldiers laughed, almost nervously I thought. \"He's obviously lying, like all demons do. We should kill him before he summons more of them!\"\n\n\"Shut up!\" I snapped, glaring briefly at him. The soldier fell silent, and in the glance I shot back at them I spotted what almost looked like terror.\n\n\"What are you saying?\" I said, turning back to the dying demon.\n\n\"You don't remember,\" he gasped. \"Your name is Haborym, you are our Master's son, and the one true king!\"\n\n\"Blaphemy!\" shouted the same soldier. \"He is a warrior of light, our leader! You demon scum are the ones that killed and possessed so many of us!\"\n\nSomething was definitely wrong. I felt compelled by the demon's insistence, by his pleading eyes. I was feeling a strong case of cognitive dissonance.\n\n\"Haborym,\" I said to myself. \"It sounds so familiar.\"\n\nThen I saw it. Out of the yawning chasm in the earth, where the fire and brimstone still raged, a face I had not seen in decades, one I had long forgotten and only had heard of in hushed whispers of legend among the soldiers of light. It stared at me out of the heat, burning through my soul. I knew it who it was when I saw it--my father.\n\nThe white robes desiccated off my body, and the warm skin darkened to a bloody hue. The white light faded into utter darkness, punctuated only by the flames and lightning. I saw the look of gladness in the demon's eyes, and the expression of absolute horror on the soldiers'. They shrank back, and in that moment, I remembered. There were not few of those soldiers--there were billions. They lived in luxury on the surface, and slaughtered our children for sport. They had managed to kill my father, and somehow had taken my power for their own.\n\nNo more.\n\nWith a roar, I swung around to the soldiers. They broke into a run, screaming for the cavalry that wasn't coming. I held out a hand, and said quietly \"I remember, father.\"\n\nThe hellfire that licked up from the ground beneath the soldiers' feet did not kill them, but instead sucked them below the earth, into eternal torment, destroying their bodies with fire, but trapping their souls forever. A vast cheering echoed from the chasm behind me, and I knew I had found my place. Haborym, the king of demons.", "The fist smashed into my nose not once but two times in quick succession. The third I dodged. I was tired of Donovan’s shit. He had pushed me too far. The sisters, even father Durant, had told me fighting was never good. Bullshit. This felt great, the rightness of it replaced a wrongness I had felt my entire life.\n\n“Fight, fight, fight.” The crowd of boys yelled.\n\nI sidestepped another swing getting in close landing a few blows to his stomach and ribs. His knee smashed into my side. I danced back before he could land a punch. Blood poured from my nose and my feet moved in cadence to the soft drips on the stones. He lunged and I quickly leaned sideways and stuck a foot out, using Donovan’s momentum to spin me around. \n\n“Get him.” Yelled the crowd.\n\nDonovan laid on the rocks not moving. I walked toward him hesitantly. He grabbed at my feet, I easily danced out of the way, a wicked grin spread on my face. He got to his knees but before he could get up I kicked him in the jaw. His head snapped around, and I heard a satisfying crack. I watched in delight as his body fell to the rocks once more. He twitched in the dirt and twitch sent shivers up my spine. \n\nThe crowd grew silent.\n\n“Jackson!” Mother Superiors stern voice said from just inside the monastery. “That is enough.”\n\nDonovan’s body had stopped twitching. My head suddenly felt like it had been split open. Mother Superior rushed to me as I blacked out.\n\n****\n“Is he secured well?” I heard Father Durant ask. \n\n“Yes.” A woman’s voice replied.\n\n“Leave us.”\n\nA splash of water hit my face shocking any remnants of unconsciousness out of my mind.\n\nI groaned and said. “What happened?”\n\nI tried to focus on the face in front of me. It was blurry and I tried to blink it into focus.\n\n“You got into a fight,” Father Durant said.\n\nThe fight rushed back to me and the splitting headache eased. The feeling of euphoria and rightness filled my soul again. I blinked again trying to clear my vision. \n\n“Jackson, how do you feel?”\n\n“I feel, I feel great Father.”\n\nHe hit me with a willow switch. “You killed another boy, Jackson.” The switch fell on my legs again.\n\nI blinked and the pain of the switch cleared my vision more. The father was still just a fuzzy outline, but I could pick out the nose on his face now. A smile spreading across my face.\n\n“Thall shalt not kill.” \n\nLaughter swelled in my throat as the switch landed on my legs again and again. Blinking I could make out shapes on the wall. Square shapes that were pictures no doubt.\n\n“You are lost boy if you think this is funny.”\n\nThe switch landed three more times. I could see the father’s eyes. I blinked one more time and his face came into focus. \n\n“You,” I said. \n\nHow many times had I seen his face? How could I not recognize him? I hated him. His eyes widened in fear as he recognized the hatred on my face. The switch blows rained down. No longer focused on my legs they landed on my head, shoulders, and face. I could feel the welts rise where the blows landed. The Father’s breath began to labor. I spit at him. The rope that bound my arms broke as I strained against it, anger powering my strength.\n\nI stood up.\n\n“No. It wasn’t me,” the Father said. I grabbed his head. As he feebly recited Luke 10:19 “Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you.” \n\nHis head squished between my hands. Blood squirting the walls, ceiling, floor, and face. It was then that I remembered entirely. They had killed my father. I let Father Durant’s body fall to the floor.\n\nAs I stepped over him I bowed my head and said. “Thall shalt not kill, Father.”\n\n\n" ]	3
	[WP] Unbeknownst to the rest of the world, George R.R Martin’s epic “Song of Ice and Fire” is actually based on one big D&D campaign that’s been hung up because it’s been so hard to get everyone together. Tonight, you’re finally gathering for the final session …	[ "The shop floor of \"Fantasy Central\" was absolute chaos. For more than a decade the Song of Ice and Fire gang had been playing the most epic DnD game ever. \n\nFrom the beginning they were a big group of 8 friends, but things remained manageable enough. George was an imaginative and thorough DM and each player took the game seriously, and viewed their character through a complex and multi-faceted lens. \n\nIn those early years, they would play for hours at a time, often from opening to closing. The stories they crafted together were harrowing and layered and always heartfelt. \n\nEventually, the game itself became a draw for \"Fantasy Central\" customers, the owners even going so far as to advertise play hours. This was cool at first - George was a bit of a diva and liked to have an audience, and the energy in the room really pushed the players to take risks. \n\nBut eventually people started to ask if they could join in, and that's where things started to fall apart. George would incorporate anyone who asked - people creating obscure characters from the far corners of the map. Every time George let someone enter the game, his completionist nature would compel him to expand the story to include them.\n\nAt first it wasn't so disruptive. Jim and Tom wanted to join from the perspective of the Iron Islands, and came in with a couple of the local character, and George just whipped them up a storyline and things moved pretty much apace. \n\nBut soon every other person who passed through the store wanted to play and George, bless his heart, just couldn't deny them - it wasn't in his nature.\n\nCut to the store right now. The whole place is packed to the gills with players, nearly forty of them, each sitting in random spots in the store, hardly within earshot of each other, often blocking the aisles. \n\nThere were so many people that it took weeks to get everyone into the same room, which was lucky for the owners, who absolutely despised the game sessions now because no one could even walk through the store. \n\nStill, George tried to move things forward, he really did. \n\n\"Everyone. Everyone please focus. Everybody!\" George yelled, and everyone went silent. Flustered, George composed himself. \"We need to continue, so let's try to keep up the pace today. Mark we're gonna start in Dorne with you, OK?\"\n\nMark, who entered the game with a super niche character he named Areo Hotah, nodded from half way across the room behind a shelf of DC figurines, a small folding table teetering in front of him. \n\nGeorge cleared his throat and started. \"You are in the Grand Palace in the Dornish Capital. You are tasked with guarding Prince Martell. The Prince is speaking to a dangerous looking man armed with a sword.\" \n\nMark thinks for a second. \"I take a look around the room.\"\n\nGeorge obliges him. \"The palace antichamber is very large and spacious. The desert is visible out the many windows and red, silken draperies flutter in the warm, dry wind.\"\n\nMark nods for awhile. \"I'd like to examine the silk.\"\n\n\"What?\"\n\n\"Actually,\" mark picks up his dice, \"I'd like to roll perception on the red silk.\"\n\nThe entire room groans audibly. George just shakes his head in a pained way. \"OK.\"\n\nMark rollS a 22. George blinks, pointedly. \"You see that the red silk is of very fine quality. You see nothing else of any interest about the silk.\"\n\nThis appeases Mark for only a second before he seems to come up with another marvelous idea. Everyone braces for impact. \n\n\"I'd like to try to detect traps on the silk.\"\n\nMore groans. George puts his face in his hands. At this rate he'd be dead before this damn game ended.\n\n*******\n\n##### r/LFTM\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] Only licensed mages are allowed. You are a rogue mage hunter, using your own lawful magic to aid you. Your latest mark is an elderly woman, who's been eluding you with surprising ease. You think you've finally got her, but she's a tricky one.	[ "She closed the car door and grabbed the bag of chips between the dashboard and the windshield. \n\n\"Greasy front desk kid confirmed that she is in there. Gave the thumbs up on the picture and everything.\" \n\nThe man in the driver's seat nodded and slipped the talisman around his neck.\n\n\"Ready?\" \n\nShe jammed another handful of chips into her mouth and nodded, mumbling through the mouthful of food. \n\nThey exited the car and moved toward the door, he squeezed the talisman and their footsteps became silent. He tapped the doorknob with his thumb twice and the door flung open. \n\nThe elderly woman looked up from her recliner, he sent a wave of energy toward her, trying to press the woman into her chair and render her immobile but she deflected it with a flick of her wrist, breaking the mirror in the bathroom and sending small bottles of soap and shampoo flying. \n\nJess, following right behind him attempted the same, but with more force after seeing the ease in which the old woman had deflected the original attack. \n\nShe began to levitate from the chair conjuring between her wrinkled hands a sphere of fire and smoke, shooting a cylinder of flame at the doorway.\n\nThey leapt out of the way and Gary got to his feet, putting out the embers on his smoldering coat, Jess was furiously putting out a small fire in her hair. \n\nShe was gone from the smoke filled room and he was sure that he could hear soft laughter as he entered, hands raised and knees slightly bent. \n\n\"Well we definitely surprised her\" Gary said back toward Jess \"she left all her stuff here.\"\n\n\"Yeah some good that did us, the old bird is quick.\" he rifled through her purse. \n\n\"The Agency just said it was a Jane Doe right?\" \n\n\"Yeah, no name, just the picture and description.\" \n\nHe threw an expired mage's identification. \n\"No wonder she hasn't been caught, she is a Blavatsky.\" \n\nJess's eyes flew wide and she dug into her tattered coat pocket \n\"I'm calling headquarters.\"" ]	1
Can be in first person or third person point of view but make the reader feel the emotions and build up that you felt.	[WP] NON-FICTION - Write a story about the happiest moment in your life.	[ "\n\n\nIt was a day alike many others. Saturday I believe. I had just finished my school week and had my weekend to myself. We were going to visit my cousins who lived about a half hour away, and we stopped for lunch at a jack asters. I managed to convince my father to order the 10 chicken wing appetizer. However when it arrived, we counted and saw only 9 wings. We called our waiter over and he said it was “ because the packaging was by weight and this happens sometimes. However, he said that since the menu said 10 wings, he could give us 5 more, since as previously said their were prepackaged. We enjoyed our 9 chicken wings and they were excellent, and when the 5 extra arrived, we enjoyed those as well. \n\n\nMan my life has been uneventful ", "Caution: For those of you who know me (which is none of you), this is very conversational and more of a story-telling voice over my normal descriptive “writing voice.” See my other posts for examples ^shameless ^^self^^^-promotion\n\nI’ve been a worrier my entire life. Then at 19, now at 26, almost every single moment. Fussing over this or that or any little thing I can find. Really, I tell myself that it’s looking out for myself and making sure I can execute when the situation finally arises, but I’ll give it to you straight, it’s worrying. Needless, pointless, anxiety-inducing worrying. \n\nCan’t stop, won’t stop.\n\nSo you can only imagine how having a crush goes for me. So much potential, but no idea what to do. Oh, the other thing is that I’m not a ladies’ man. Not in the slightest. In my head, I’m like 50% smooth, enough to get to talking, but I run out of steam pretty fast. \n\nNow imagine me telling this girl that I like her. Hoo, boy. Get this, though—she likes me back. Well, shit. What do I do now?\nFast forward two months of shyly bantering and overly-friendly-but-completely-PG conversations about everything under the stars, and I absolutely miss asking this girl to be my girlfriend. It’s okay though. We walked along the SF piers in decent weather (overcast and slightly breezy. Bay Area residents know what I’m talking about) and had a casual dinner at Bubba Gump Shrimp. \n\nLater that night, we stayed up talking until a little past 2AM (a staple for all young duos gravitating towards one another) and decided that we were a couple. I’m told it’s pretty lame, but given the circumstances, I was over the moon.\nAnd that’s it. That was the happiest moment of my life, at past 2 AM August 5, 2011.\n\nI WAS going to play a prank here where I do a cliffhanger, but Reddit formatting saved you the cruelty. Lucky you.\n\nLet’s fast forward again one month. I’m in a relationship now, the first I’ve ever had. Crushes, sure, here and there, but a real relationship. Got me stumped again. Starting at that 2 AM mark, I told her that I was worried about where the relationship was going to go, but that I was willing to see it through with her help.\n\nBeing a man of pomp and circumstance when I see fit, such as one month into my first relationship, I hatch a grandiose plan. I even loop in my parents and manage to utilize their not-yet-outdated knowledge of the SF Muni bus system. Here is my plan:\n\n1.\tGo to a fancy restaurant in an attempt to impress.\n2.\tWalk across the Golden Gate Bridge.\n3.\t???\n4.\tProfit\n\nAn old meme for those who like that. Those young ‘uns these days don’t appreciate these anymore.\n\nEverything goes off relatively without a hitch—the restaurant I had researched nights before had the greatest bread (imagine a crunchy, thin crust that collapses and rips to reveal a center of crêpe-like webbing, the moistness and richness overtaking your mouth as you eat it. But I digress) and perfect garlic fries, the bus system is exactly as I mapped out (we missed a bus somewhere in the middle of the day, but we’re together the entire time), and we reach the Golden Gate Bridge in fantastic weather.\n\nThere were very little clouds in the sky, virtually a miracle in a coastal city at the beginning of September, but it was still really windy. Outside of the buffers that the towering SF landscape provides, it was enough to be cold.\n\nAll the way across the bridge, we were talking our fool heads off. Laughing too loud. Making up hypothetical situations and short one-liners.\n\nAll the way across the bridge, the worries are rattling around the old dome. Oscillating between the forefront and the back of my mind. What do I intend to do when we get to the other end? Are we going to see a friend in North Bay? Are we going to turn around and spend more time in SF?\n\nAll I remember is this.\n\nWhen we got very close to the end of the bridge, we’d been walking for over an hour, so I ask her if she wants to continue forward or turn back and walk across the span that we just covered. She makes the executive decision to turn back, and I agree. Then, after a few seconds, I go to kiss her cheek, an action I’d never done before. \n\nThat doesn’t quite work out as planned. You see, she turned partially, almost fast enough for a real kiss. But not enough, and I’m pretty sure I blush at this point. I don’t remember feeling the heat in my face, given the wind and the relative comfortableness I have in this situation. Oddly enough, anyway.\n\nShe looks me in the eye and asks, “Whoops. Wanna try again?” At that point, in the height of my anxiety and mental panic, she gave me another chance. Now that was the happiest moment in my life. Of course I agree. I have to; that’s the moment where I know I love her. That’s the moment where I know I’ll love her for the rest of my life. \n\n+++\n\nSpoiler alert: Walk away with your happy feelings. Go. Shoo. This is where I dump the remainder of the story. Some off-prompting, if you will.\n\n+++\n\nOne of her favorite books is (?) The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. In it, there’s a quote that says something to the effect of “You don’t write to relive something. You write to bury it.” And that’s exactly what I’m doing here.\n\nThe girl in this story, she was the love of my life for 5.75 years thereafter. Key word “was.” Through the death of one of her close family members and the depression that followed for years, I was with her. I tried too hard to help her in the way that I’d like to be helped, and that eventually resulted in an irreparable schism.\n\nThat was over 10 months ago. I’ve had plenty of time to mull everything over, the stuff that comes easily to mind anyway, and I’ve had good people by my side to help me through the worst of the aftermath (shoutout to DL and SC, and of course my family).\n\nAfter the breakup, I asked her what the most romantic thing I’d done for her was. The inspiration was an AskReddit post. This occasion was listed at the top, potentially dethroned after I reminded her of some other events.\n\nAll in all, if you were to ask me if I’d do it all over again, I would give you a resounding no. But I’m glad I did it. I think that’s what matters.\n\nWhen it comes down to it, enjoy what you have with near reckless abandon, but don’t be afraid to reminisce on good times, even if it hurts sometimes.\n\nCheers,\n\nKF\n", "She escaped.\n\nOur brand new kitten, barely half an hour into our home, gone. Just like that. \n\nI didn't even know you were getting us a kitten. You sure didn't have the money to take care of a kitten. Guess who was going to have to pick up the vet bills? Yeah, that's right. Yours truly.\n\nWe had none of the supplies that we needed for a kitten. We didn't have a litter box. We didn't have any toys. The stores were closing any minute now and you didn't even think to bring her food!\n\nTo say I was underwhelmed with your ''surprise'' was an understatement. \n\nWhile we were busy arguing, we lost sight of the little one. Only for a minute, I think. But one minute was all the time she needed. \n\nWe searched every nook and cranny in the house. Under the bed, in the kitchen cabinets, next to the closet, behind the curtains. She was nowhere to be found. \n\nMy heart stopped when I noticed. Your bedroom window was wide open. \n\nPanic washed over me as I ran out the door, scanning the streets for our little baby. There was no one there. \n\nI was overcome by fear. She was so small, so helpless. What if something had happened to her? How was she supposed to survive out there on her own? She must be terrified! \n\nI had to think quickly, think clearly. Cats have great orientation. Sometimes, there's stories on the news where a cat has traveled half the country to go back to their old home.\n\nThat's it! She might be walking back to the farm she came from! \n\nQuickly, we made a plan. You'd search the route to the farm, I'd do another check of the house. We had to find her. We had to.\n\nI searched every millimeter of our house again. And again. Still no sign of her. Exhausted, I dropped down on the couch. There was nothing I could do now, except wait. I was sick with worry. She'd only been here for such a short time, but one look at that little, fluffy head with the big blue eyes and the pointy ears was all I needed to fall in love with her forever. \n\nThat's when the light bulb went on. There was one place I hadn't checked yet. One last chance. Underneath the oven, there was a small drawer. It was rusty and it jammed, so we never used it. Could she have gone around the back and climbed in? Slowly, I opened the drawer...\n\n...and there she was. Huddled in a ball, shivering and scared. Carefully, I picked her up and held her against me, and cried the happiest tears of my life. In that moment, I vowed to love and care for her forever, and to never, ever lose her again. \n\n-----------------------------------------------------------------------\nThat was a rollercoaster of emotions! I'm actually crying again typing this out, I was so scared we'd lost her. I broke up with that boyfriend shortly after and took the cat. She's happily sleeping on my bed as we speak!", "It's really interesting when I think about it. \nThese kind of prompts are hard for me to do for two reasons: one, it is hard for me to genuinely admit I'm good at something and two, since I have such a skewed perception of myself since I was young I grew accustomed to create stories around real life happenings which are far more interesting and engaging than the recounts of what happens to me. \nHonestly, most of the time I only want to head home to sleep 7 hours and get over with it. My creativity has been waning the older I am getting thanks to the fact that I'm feeling tired most of the time. \nBut enough about my daily annoyances and my bites at life with the brand of sarcasm I've built up: let me tell you about my happiest moment. \n \nYou got to understand that, as I mentioned earlier, I grew used to creating stories out of my own experiences and give them something of an interesting spin to it. Say that I'm working at a deadbeat job without hopes of getting a raise or a decent amount of recognition in the form of leveling up in the company or by getting some meager privileges like my own parking spot. Instead of moping or getting angry at it - which I still do when it gets really rough - using that creative spark I have, I shift it so that I'm actually some French space captain for hire in the year 2280 who has to deal with the inept bureaucracy of an organization who wants to rise up to be a recognized name in Earth and the Galaxy but really can't bring themselves up to because... well, quite frankly, they are incredibly stupid. It's like they do every thing that one shouldn't do and they get surprised when the results come pouring in. \nI'm sure you'll be more engaged reading on the exploits of said captain dealing with this organization with his trusty crew rather than me ranting about how the company I work on is retarded and likes to shoot itself on the foot. \nI like to call this kind of writing \"Fantastic Realism\": it's a struggle based on real life that is slightly more manageable thanks to this fantastic masking. \nThat doesn't mean I live in a world of delusion: if anything, and depending on my mood, things can get much darker than uplifting so I need to keep my feet planted on the ground of reality lest I diverge so much I become schizophrenic. \nInstead, the most I can get from diving too deep into these kind of fantasies is disappointment. Because no matter how awesome this space Captain's exploits are on the organization he is working with, I am still 'stuck' with the reality that I can't do much. I'm fine with that but it does get me sad once in a while. \nI grew with the mentality that while good things can happen, nothing as incredible as what I've usually come to plot in my mind can occur. \n \nThat's until I met him. \nGranted, our meeting was really quirky and I still pester him about how he was 'shoo'ing me for posting this ninja emote on his RP topic but that was the best I could do because the damn servers would usually go down - I mean, they would undergo 'sushi error' - and subscriptions didn't work. It was my best option to track down the thread and I really wanted to formalize my introduction. \nFrom there, we went on to become friends. Shared a bunch of ideas and actually found out that we had a lot in common. \nWe exchanged IM accounts - a huge deal for me back on 2006. Remember those years when giving out personal information on the internet was still a taboo thing or at least people knew how to be responsible with what they posted online? Anybody remembers /i/ raids? - and started chatting other things outside from the RP or the OoC forums. \nSomething struck a chord on me and I thought for a moment that we could probably escalate things. I was a vulnerable, irritable and depressed teenager at the time and even I knew a lot of my decisions were plain retarded, but I really wanted something special to happen. \nI came to realize - just in time, I guess - that he was already going out with somebody so I ate those feelings and moved on. It wouldn't be the first time, I told myself, and as a consolation price I added him (or rather, an avatar of himself) to the catalog of characters I can throw onto my many stories and universes. \nThat was the end of that and didn't look forward for much afterwards. \nWe still kept talking and engaged on other things outside of stories and while the feeling never really went away I appreciated his friendship more than the innate human need for companionship. Besides, forcing somebody into a contract of that kind is not a good idea so why bother? \n \n \nSuddenly, he vanished. \nMy heart sank for a moment but that later became concern. \nIt was unlike him to just do something like that. Something must have happened, I told myself, and I left him be. \nWe all have demons to fight against, I concluded having fought my own kind of demons. It is really funny how strong you can make them when you have the capacity and knowledge on how to create them. \nThis went on for two or three years. My gut told me to not press on the matter and I listened. Worried, but I listened and followed suit. \nUntil suddenly, I got a message back. \nI remember squeeing. Ridiculous, I know, but it came naturally. \nMy gut told me also not to probe onto why he had vanished, which I also followed suit, and we engaged as per usual. He did apologize for not talking to me all that time but I told him I didn't mind the wait. \nTime and talks between us resumed as normal and it was only until that point that I realized really where or how that feeling I had earlier for him came to be. \nA mix of destiny, subconscious inclinations and my own fantasy that told me 'go for it'. \nSo on February of 2015, the day after my muse's birthday, I told him of my intentions and my wishes. \nAnd against all the rules of reality, regardless how reckless and out of the blue my request came to be, he told me yes. \n \nThe world, the reality of it, shifted from me at that moment. \nFor the longest I had only thought of it as this bland place of beauty where few interesting things happen. And if they happen, it only happens to a selected few.\nOr just maybe it just didn't, couldn't, happen to me. \nI couldn't become a good artist, nor good at work, nor I was good enough for anything. \nI was always ten bars down everyone else, even if I showed to have a better talent or I remarked how good I was. \nMy ego strokes exist mostly because I think of myself as lesser, though really you can see where I come from: I am an artist after all. \nI had always portrayed Reality and Fantasy as two beings battling each other for supremacy or to keep one from overlapping the other. Reality is harsh but necessary like the Sun and Fantasy is comforting and inspiring like the Moon. Granted, G.R.R Martin enjoys butchering every other character you love but it is still in some setting most would not call boring or dull. \nMy escapists efforts were really to bring some of that fantasy in reality, never to replace it but to enhance it and make it beautiful and more baring, because I thought that nothing good could ever happen to me. \n \nAnd when it did, I didn't know how to react. \nSlowly, with the help of him and other friends I've met along the way, I've rediscovered reality. \nI discovered that reality and fantasy are only divided by a very thin line which one can walk onto very easily and skip on each side with ease. \nAnd that it is really easy to create bridges between both sides, so long as one is responsible and knows what it takes to do so. \nThe weirdest ideas can come to reality if you have the means to and are aware of what it will take to make it happen. \n \nPerception. \nThat is the name of the key that bridges both sides. \nAnd when I discovered it, it changed my life. \n \nI've had a lot of happy moments previous to this just as I still have sad moments now, but my perception changed. \nAnd in a way, my world. \nI now know that I can do something with my reality, and that I'm not trapped in it like I thought I was. \n \nPerhaps he isn't the cause of this discovery, but his positive answer to my request made me reconsider other things. \nSoon, I was taking a flight to meet him in person - with alarms blaring in my head circa sponsored by my parent's warning circa 2008 about online people - and that time we spent together was just another proof of how reality and fantasy work together. \nJust like that Solar Eclipse showed us on that weekend of August. \n \n--- \n \n^(Shuffles and hides things and scurries under a rock) \n \nBTW, I have a subreddit for the stuff I write. \nHead to /r/KibouPortal for more shenanigans and stuff. \nHope you enjoy. \n \n^(Bye...)\n\n \n", "So I wrote this a while back on a post on r/videos. It was a vid of a kid receiving adoption papers from his then guardian and now dad on Christmas morning. The kid was so grateful and emotional, and the video really struck a chord with me for reasons this story will explain, here it is:\n\nQuick story- As a kid I was under guardian ship until I was 12, when I was legally adopted by my guardians. The moment I legally became their child wasn't a moment of joy like this, the people who adopted me had alot of issues in their marriage that they hid from most people and I never truly felt like I was a part of a family, I never felt loved and I never felt like I had any love to give.\n\nI met my childhood best friend a few years before my adoption in school and I started spending alot of time at his house. The first time I went over and met his family I was shocked at how obvious it was that these people loved and cared for each other, it was foreign to me and I yearned for it. I was jealous of my friend and his family but soon that jealousy faded as I spent more and more time with them. They were so accepting and welcoming of me, never turning me away when I showed up at their front door with a backpack full of clothes because of another fight at my house.\n\nAs I grew older I embedded myself in their family and soon they were my family too. I went on vacation with them, spent the holidays with them and after I enlisted in the Air Force they made it clear that I always had a home to come back to.\n\nBut sometimes I still felt like I was alone, I don't know why I did but something inside of me still hadn't clicked to the fact that I had found a family that loved me. Then one day, during my time overseas, I got a Skype call from them and they had something to show me. Their mother, our mother, had just got her first tattoo, something she'd been talking about doing for a while. She wanted something to represent what she loved most in the world, her sons. On her back were 4 flowers, the 3 birth flowers of her biological children and a narcissus, my birth flower. She told me that I was her son, without question, and that we would always be family.\n\nIn that moment, as a 23 year old man, I felt exactly what this child felt. It was like somebody had finally filled the hole in my heart, and all I could do was cry.\n\nThat was the best damn cry I've ever had in my entire life, I love my mom." ]	5
	[WP] Any high school students would say that their most dreaded school subjects are either Maths, Literature Studies or Chemistry. But I think so far we are only considering subjects that they teach on Earth.	[ "Finally back to school, after the Xenomorphs arrived the world was basically on hold. The war was terrible and devastating billions lost their life. After a joint scientific team discovered a fatal flaw in the Xenomorphs biology allowed us to create a gas that chokes the aliens, allowing us to win the war. You don't care though you are still a Sophomore in school, and this happened years ago, sitting in your chair you wait for class to begin.\n\n\"Welcome to the new curriculum this will be Xenomorph Biology. We will start with a basic dissection\" States your teacher.\n\nYou look down at your specimen laying on the pan in front of you on the lab table, the exoskeleton is dark almost black with specks of grey. The tail is about a meter long and the head, arms, feet are pointing up. Grossed out and already bored you grab your dissection kit to begin.\n\n\"Start by making an incision at the top of the mouth and move back to the base of the cranium.\" Instructions coming from the front you are barely paying attention to.\n\nyou grab the scalpel and look at the creature, confused and a little worried you raise your hand and ask \"Is this thing supposed to be still moving????\"\"\n" ]	1
	[WP] Every hero and villain is rated on a scale of 1 to 10 based on their power level. Powerless humans are rated a flat 1. You're the first active hero that's been rated a negative number.	[ "I grinned the maniacal grin of the truly helpless. The thief before me had me dead to rights, trapped in the weird tentacle-like things he could create and control from the backs of his hands. They weren't particularly strong, to be honest. I had even watched his victim, someone's grey-haired grandmother, apparently without powers of any kind, break free from them before hobbling away. Unfortunately, I wasn't particularly strong, either, and I could feel the tentacles slowly crushing my arms.\n\nThe tentaclemancer looked completely shocked, of course. It's not often he finds someone weaker than a grandma, but then, that was my lot in life. Immy was the superhero name they gave me, short for Imaginary. After all, they reasoned, not only was I a negative one, but I was somehow even more pathetic than they thought possible for someone rated that low. And what could possibly be worse than a negative one? Its square root, of course, and so the name stuck. Imaginary, named for the concept of an imaginary number. Anyone remotely versed in basic mathematics would sigh at the stupidity of the joke, but then, most heroes weren't known for their intellectual qualities. Even the tech whizzes, funnily enough, despite being smart enough to create such engineering marvels as a grapple gun that could fit in a man's pocket.\n\nThe sudden shock of pain from my slowly-breaking wrists brought me back to reality. I dropped to my knees in pain, trying to fall over, but the thief's hold kept me upright. Why does it always have to hurt so much? Every damn time. And where the hell was a proper hero? I'd even take that one weirdo who rode his bicycle everywhere. It's not like they were -\n\n\\- Oh. I glanced up though tears of pain and saw two of them standing by, laughing at the spectacle. Of course. Let's all point and laugh, fellas, look at how pathetic he is. He's getting beaten, again. Why does he even try? The conversation they're having as I lay here, helpless, plays easily through my head. It's not like I haven't heard it all before. I guess those with powers can never truly empathize with those who don't have them, though. It's not like either of them have been helpless, truly helpless, before.\n\nA few more moments of pain, a few more seconds of being the butt of someone's joke, before the tentaclemancer finally realizes that we're no longer alone. He quickly releases me, unconcerned with me any longer, and I breathe a sigh of relief. Time to get up and let the real heroes do their jobs. Besides, I can already feel my bones knitting back together even as the tentaclemancer gets put down, hard, by a brute of a man whose only real power was that his right fist, and only that fist, could hit three times as hard as even the best boxer could manage. The Dextrous Boxer he called himself, because he learned a single latin word and suddenly thought he was clever. Then it would be him and his brother, the Sinistral Archer, who saved me this time.\n\n\"Hey Dex, Sin,\" I nodded to the two of them as they finished tying up the pathetic thief. \"I'll just get going, then, since you guys have everything under control.\" Conversation with these two was exhausting, not the least because Dex was the smarter of the two. Meatheads like them were only part of the ranks in an effort to be praised while bullying others. When I first learned about the truly impressive number of men and women like them in the Guild's list, it nearly broke me. I consoled myself with the knowledge that at least they were doing some good, even for the wrong reasons.\n\n\"Hah, sure, sure, Immy. Thanks for the assist!\" He jeered after me. Ah, well, at least I avoided having my shoulder shattered again, done previously time under the guise of a good-natured pat. Rounding the corner, I stop for a moment to catch my breath. Regeneration was tiresome for me, and besides, it gave me an opportunity to listen in to the two of them to see if they were still the dicks I remembered.\n\n\"I don't know why he's even on the list. The guy's truly pathetic.\" Sin finishes with a mocking chuckle.\n\n\"Well, you know the rules. He has a power, he wants to be a hero, that's all it takes to get in at the base level.\" The disapproval was thick in Dex's voice as he replied. Clearly, this is an argument they've had before, and just as clearly, Dex disagreed with the bare minimum required by the guild for membership. I wonder if he ever realized he wasn't good enough to get in without them?\n\n\"Yeah, but c'mon bro, he's so lame. It's insulting that we're considered on the same level as him! What good is he even, really, when you get down to it?\" \n\n\"Who knows, Sin. Who knows.\"\n\nI shake my head and start to walk away. I don't need to hear more of this nonsense from these two, and the exhaustion from healing my injuries finally faded, so I decided to walk away. Who knows, indeed. If I was honest with myself, they were partially right. Regeneration, hah. Such a great power! Too bad my body is so frail. Basically, all I can do is be a glorified punching bag.\n\nThe bus schedule at the nearest bus stop tells me that I just missed my bus, and the next one on my route isn't due for another half hour. Guess it's time to wait, then. Sometimes I wonder if it's all worth it. It seems like any of the heroes I meet these days are exactly like Sin and Dex. Pumped-up jocks with nothing better to do than abuse the power they have, looking down on anyone who doesn't have any, and full of contempt for those who'd use their powers for \"evil,\" whatever that may be. From where I sit? Evil is standing by and watching a man get crushed by someone who wouldn't be out of place in some of that bad Japanese porn.\n\n\"Excuse me, young man?\" The smiling face of an elderly woman pulls me out of my thoughts. \"Were you the one who stepped in a moment ago, back there?\"\n\n\"Yes, ma'am, that was me.\" I smile my best smile back, trying to chase away the negative thoughts long enough to keep up a positive attitude. Guild rules suggested it, and I agreed. Never let people know just how badly you're hurting, always reassure them that everything's okay.\n\nShe wraps me in a warm hug. \"Oh, thank you, thank you so much! I don't know what that man was going to do.\" Letting go, she sits down on the bench next to me and continues talking. \"I don't know what I would have done if you weren't there. I don't have much, you know.\"\n\nShe reaches into her purse and pulls out a diamond-crusted gold locket to show me. The loop that held it to a chain was long ago broken, but the piece was still quite valuable. \"This is about the only thing of value I have left. My husband, see he passed away recently. I was just walking back here to catch the bus when that awful, awful man accosted me.\" Smiling, she pops the locket open, showing me a lovely young couple on their wedding day. \"He gave this to me on our first anniversary, you know. It's a picture of us, the day we were wed. Happiest day of my life.\" A wistful tone enters her voice, and it's obvious how painful it is to recall such happy days. \n\nThe love, the happiness, the raw emotion in that picture shines through. I can't help but smile. How couldn't you? We sat and talked for the rest of the half hour until the bus came. I found out that she didn't live very far from me, so I offered to escort her home. I spent the evening with her, letting her reminisce about old times. I learned about her, her husband, and their life together. I learned about their children, and even their grandchildren.\n\nI often think of that day, of the time my frailty let me take the place of an elderly woman. See, villains, they get off on the pain they cause. And the amount of pain they can cause me? The amount I can endure? That's why I do what I do. That's the real reason why I'm in the Guild, why they have even promoted me since that day. I take the pain, the hurt, the damage, so people like that wonderful old woman will never have to. I endure it through gritted teeth. The shame, the mockery, it's all worth it, because at the end of the day, it's the conversation with an elderly woman whose most valuable possession I saved, the children who were ignored in favor of me, the helpless and innocent who never had to be shot, stabbed, decapitated, burned, boiled. It's all of that that keeps me going.\n\nOther heroes may disagree. They may think they're the ones who saved all of them. But I know the truth. Things happen. Things go wrong. The bad guys sometimes win. I saved all those people, no matter what anyone else says, and I'll keep on saving them." ]	1
	[WP] Home alone, you jokingly yell “I know you’re here, you can come out!” not expecting anything to happen.	[ "I waved at my parents good-naturedly, telling them I'd miss them and that I hoped they'd be back soon. That was a lie, of course. I was sixteen, and like any good sixteen-year-old, I couldn't wait for them to get in the car and drive off to wherever it was they were going. They must have told me the name of their vacation spot a million times, and a million times I had forgotten it again.\n \nWhen their car was finally approaching the horizon, I fist-bumped the air (immediately regretting it and glancing around to make sure nobody had seen that), went back inside and slammed the door shut behind me. So this was what freedom smelled like. I could get behind that, I thought as I went to the kitchen to grab myself a week's worth of cereal. I was on my third spoon-ful when I heard a loud crash from upstairs. Great, I'd been alone in the house for a whooping five minutes and was already getting burgled. \n\nI waited for a few minutes, listening for more noises. When none came, I figured I might as well investigate since it was early afternoon and everybody knows bad things only happen at night. So I went upstairs, still munching on my cereal on the way. The noise had sounded like it had come from directly above the kitchen, which is where my room was located. I frowned as I beheld the door that was now only slightly ajar. I knew I had left it wide open. Getting more and more nervous, I nudged the door open with my foot and peered in through the crack. Wilbur was lying on the hardwood floor, uprooted, soil spilling everywhere. A breath I didn't know I had been holding escaped my lips. Goddammit, I knew I should have closed the window. I berated myself as I walked over, banged it shut and wrangled the curtains back in place. After dealing with that, I took a moment to gather myself, realising I had been more freaked out than I had thought.\n\nIt did seem a bit odd that the curtains catching the gentle breeze could have been responsible for Wilbur's heavy pot falling over. I mused over this for a second and then shrugged to myself. It was probably a burglar after all. A burglar who, for some reason, chose the second storey window and hadn't even used a ladder, something I had made sure of checking when closing the window. Yeah, it was totally a burglar, I scoffed at my prior uneasiness. Actually, it was more likely to be a deranged serial killer. And he was also totally waiting in my closet with a knife and was totally going to stab me to death and then wear my skin. At this I had to laugh and the rest of my anxiety was lifted.\n\nPicking up my cereal bowl from where I had put it down on my desk, I turned to the room one last time and called out to the imaginary psychopath theatrically.\n\n\"Oh, woe is me! I have been cornered! I shall not escape from this alive! Please, I beg you, step out of your hiding place and grant me a swift, painless death\" I even added a little swoon for flourish. Mr Baker, my drama teacher, would have been proud.\n\n\"Ey, man. Why you so shook? I ain't gonna hurt you, dude. Chill.\"\n\nMy bowl flew at my closet so quickly that I wasn't sure if I had thrown it or if it had suddenly grown wings and decided it was a bird.\n\nSplosh\n\n\"Dafuq, man? I just got my fur done yesterday! It cost a fortune! No cool, bro. Not.Cool!\"\n\nI went to apologise, but my mouth seemed to have other plans and started screaming instead. Also a good choice, was my last thought before I blacked out. \n\nWhen I came to it was still light outside, so I couldn't have been out that long. Or maybe I had been unconscious for a whole day. I couldn't quite remember why I had fainted in the first place, but then I looked at the frowning thing staring at me and remembered. \n\nWhen I came to the second time it was still light outside, so I couldn't have been out that long. Or maybe I had been unconscious for a whole day. I couldn't quite remember why I had fainted in the first (and second) place, despite the curious sense of Déjà Vu. Seeing as the cause of my fainting fits wasn't present this time around to expedite my though process, it took me a little longer to remember. I got up from the floor and went to lay down on the bed instead.\n\nAfter fifteen minutes, I decided I had it together about as much as I ever would and tried an apology again. \n\n\"Uh…hello? I-I'm sorry for throwing a bowl at you… and spilling milk on your… f-fur?\"\n\n\"Nah man, s'right. Don't sweat it. I was just a little shocked is all,\" I heard from the corridor, and a few seconds later it stepped in, dressed in my mother's bathrobe. Completing the look was a towel wrapped around its head. This didn't bother me as much as it maybe should have, as I figured the less visible it was, the easier it was for me not to faint again.\n\n\"So… uh… you said you weren't going to brutally… uh… butcher me?\" I eyed the window and cursed my past self for closing off my only means of escape.\n\n\"Do these look like killing instruments to you?\" it asked and showed off his claws.\n\n\"Uh… yeah... actually, they do. Pleasedontkillme!\"\n\n\"Huh? WTF?! For shame, dude, seriously. Can't you see I just got them done? They cost me almost a month's wage! I ain't killing nobody with these except it if you catch my drift,\" it makes a slashing gesture with the claws which I assumed was supposed to underline what it said, but all the gesture did for me was making me wish I was back in my mother's womb. They really did look rather deadly, and I couldn't tell if that was natural or because of the manicure it had mentioned.\n\n\"Uh… yeah. They look… uh… very… nice. Very… not deadly. So… uh… what are you doing here? I mean… if you're not here to savagely… slaughter me.\"\n\n\"Well, I dunno, man. I was bored I guess. The manicure didn't take as long as I had thought, because apparently the estimate was for a mani-pedi and well, I can only use half of that,\" it made its point by wiggling its toenail-less and also, toe-less tentacles. \n\nI hadn't noticed the tentacles before. I had been too distracted by its teeth and its claws. In comparison, the tentacles had seemed rather harmless, and negligible. Now that I actually looked at them, I saw that they were full of bracelets… anklets? I was pretty sure one of them, solid gold by the looks of it, read YOLO. \n\n\"It might also have been part of a dare, TBH\" it added with a impressive shrug. Impressive in the fact that you'd think it would be physically impossible for something without shoulders to actually pull one off.\n\n\"A- a dare? Not a dare to mindlessly massacre me, right?\" I asked nonplussed.\n\nThe thing shook its head vigorously, accidentally throwing off the towel in the process and revealing once again the rest of its horrifying head. Noticing the loss of the towel, the thing stooped, as far as what it was doing could be called stooping, to pick it up and proceeded to wrap it back around its head. \n\n\"I was dared to do a panty raid. I was just about to head back when I heard a loud crash, got scared and hid. In hindsight, should have probably just gone back through the portal.\"\n\nAt this point, I realised that it was using my favourite towel, and that I would now have to burn it. I sighed and just went with it. \n\n\"Uh, ok. Sounds about as reasonable as anything you've said so far. And I assume the closet is the portal?\" I threw a cursory glance at it. I would have to burn that too, it seemed. Maybe the whole house, just to be absolutely sure.\n\n\"What? No, don't be ridiculous, dude. Closets are so early 2016 they're almost retro again. This is how the cool kids travel.\" it said, heading over to my desk and opening the top drawer. I stepped forward, trying to keep as much space between me and the thing as possible, but still curious to see the portal. \n\n\"I can't see anything. It's just a drawer.\" I scratched my head and took a second look.\n\n\"Well, yeah. A good portal doesn't let everybody know it's a portal, duh.\"\n\n\"Right… well, it has been fun and everything but I have things to d-\" Next thing I knew I lay on the floor, covering my head with my arms, for a second time that day wishing for a swift death. I had been interrupted by a screech so loud and high-pitched that I thought I'd go deaf and blind, because I doubted merely going deaf would cut it.\n\nThe swift death I was hoping for didn't come, and then screeching stopped as abruptly as it had started, only to be replaced by excited shouting.\n\n\"You have Far Cry 5! Omg, You lucky soab! Let's play!\" Before I had even taken a breath to answer, the Xbox was already plugged in, turned on, and the game inserted. The thing flopped down on my couch and was blubbering contently. Gripping the controller in its claws it patted the spot next to it. \"Come on! Playing alone sucks balls.\"\n\nNot entirely sure what was happening and how a day that had started so perfectly could turn into whatever this was, I made my way over to the couch sitting down gingerly at the furthers edge. The thing didn't seem to notice my reluctance, handed me a controller and pressed play. \n\ncont. see below" ]	1
[Tragic Poet](http://mythicspoiler.com/dom/cards/tragicpoet.html), from Magic: the Gathering.	[WP] In a healing world I write - I, who will never be healed. Let my last gift be one of memory: from a thousand lost thoughts, choose one, and remember my name.	[ "gerald clicked 'save' and leaned back on his chair staring at the computer screen. \"and remember my name,\" he mumbled. he wasn't sure how long he had been staring at the final design for his latest magic card. he felt cold and saw that it was dark through the office windows. he was alone.\n\ngerald's eyes moved across his desk. the awards and photographs of himself with esteemed players and designers, congratulatory notes from the company, the untouched lunch his wife had packed for him, the finger-painting his daughter had presented to him as he left for work that morning, the baseball his son had scored the winning run with that season. his gaze settled on the top drawer of his desk.\n\nhe had tried not to think about it since it happened. it was a miracle he had managed to hide it. it was a foolish idea to bring it with him, but what else could he have done? \n\ngerald could feel the sweat bead on his forehead as he began to slide open the drawer. he couldn't explain this. there was no way. already gerald could see the confusion on his young daughter's face, the light leaving his precious son's eyes and his beloved wife hunched over the kitchen sink, her back to gerald, unable to meet his eyes, able to only focus on her own knuckles turning white as she gripped the bench to hold herself up, trying desperately to keep her sobs inaudible.\n\ngerald took the plastic shopping bag from the top drawer and walked to the foyer, passed the late night security guard he didn't acknowledge, and opened the door to the service stairs. gerald climbed twenty seven sets of stairs while he thought about his entire life. every excruciating detail of his entire being passed through his consciousness on the way to the building's rooftop. by the time he had reached the door to the roof all he felt was a dull ache in his calves.\n\ngerald loosened his tie and took out a cigarette from the pack he had bought at lunch. he hadn't smoked in seventeen years but none of that mattered now. nothing mattered. he stood on the ledge of the building, looking over the city. the machinations of life writhing beneath him. a plume of smoke trailed from his cracked lips as he contemplated the bag.\n\nhis final thoughts were of the moments after his car had struck the pigeon on the way to work. his mind seemed to have left his body, then. from above he had watched himself move quicker than he had ever before, scooping up the pigeons body and stuffing it into the plastic bag he found in the gutter. when had he picked the bag up? when had he pulled over and got out of the car? he couldn't say. time was a blur and he existed at that moment only to cover up his crime. furtive glances in his rear view mirrors hoping that no one was following him. a knot in his stomach during his lunch break purchasing the cigarettes, unable to look the cashier in the eyes. his skin crawled as his boss had patted him on the back and wish gerald goodnight.\n\nhe knew what he was now. a murderer. and gerald could not live in this world with blood on his hands.\n\nthe impact of gerald's body on the sidewalk had caused a crack in the concrete that took several weeks for the town to repair. the memorial flowers and cards of sympathy had only prolonged the operation much to the frustration of the town's own head of the department of infrastructure, who had been experiencing stomach ulcers the entire week which only worsened upon learning he would have to stretch the budget even further to hire contractors to sort out the entire mess.\n\nas it turned out the pigeon had only been stunned and all the investigative team had found on the roof were several cigarette butts and an empty plastic bag containing some feathers. this also caused some problems.", "Immortality. \n\nThere are many different kinds of immortality. Most in the world desire for the kind of everlasting life and youth. \n\nThere is a different kind however. The immortality of having your name known long after your life has left your body. We live on through our impact, legacy and our influence.\n\nThey say you die twice. Once when your soul leaves your body and secondly the last time someone utters your name.\n\nThis is the greatest wish for all of those who create. I was no different.\n\nI am a Poet. \n\nThough by societal standards not a very good one.\n\nThis seemed ever and more prevalent, the more and more effort I put in. My work was constantly criticized and ridiculed by the public. Even the more sympathetic ones in my fellow Poet's Guild were hesitant to give honest feedback on my work. I could see it in their eyes. Their disappointment with eyes glossed over when reading my work. \n\nI was used to this.\n\nNot to say I didn't try. I poured my heart and soul into my work. As cliché and atypical as it sounds. I wanted this more than anything.\n\nMy words were juvenile, my words were naive, my words were too offensive, my words were brash, my words were masturbatory, crude, redundant, incoherent. My words were bad.\nMaybe I wasn't cut out for writing. Maybe my words weren't moving enough. Maybe my knowledge of the language wasn't fine enough. Maybe my experiences weren't defining enough. Maybe, maybe, maybe.\n\nMaybe I wasn't cut out to be a poet.\n\nAfter the war, our nation prospered. I had no excuse to not succeed. The other Poet's in my guild achieved great success. Success that I always dreamed of. Poets that finished their apprenticeships later than I have and poets whose works I didn't think highly of. I was given many opportunities and had the finest examples to learn from.\n\nPoverty struck me. A poet whose work doesn't move the people has no worth. Even the guild couldn't help me anymore. They cut me off. There was no blame. They invested much into me and I couldn't produce works that was worth of the guild's name. They did much more than the average guild. I couldn't ask for more. \n\nThe world prospered while I suffered. This wasn't the world's fault. This was my own. As much as I was shunned, mocked and ridiculed, I couldn't hate. I knew this was an outcome of my own choices and actions.\n\nI wrote on scraps of paper and discarded newspapers. I stole from stands and sang songs for mere pocket change. I wrote and wrote. I didn't care about anything anymore. This was the only piece of my identity I still had.\n\nThe cold and the hunger didn't bother me anymore. The shame and guilt of my failures laid a burden on my psyche that seemed crippling.\n\nMaybe the stress and hardships of this existence of poverty took its toll on me. I could feel my sanity slipping. Minutes blended into hours, hours into days and days into years. \nI just kept writing without any goal in mind. Nothing else mattered and this was fine.\n\n\nI had nothing. No confidence in my abilities. I fell into more nothing than a mere beggar on the streets. I feared I would even forget my name. My health deteriorated along with my sanity. I knew my end was near, but something was keeping me from giving up completely. No matter how desolate my future seemed to be.\n\nI awoke one day on the side of the street. Today was different. Instead of a rude awakening from a bucket of water, it was from a voice of a young girl. She seemed to be just as worse off as I was. Dirty matted hair, clothes that couldn't be called more than rags and a layer of dirt and grime over her sun scorched skin. Another outcast of society.\n\nShe was reading. Her voice was course, quiet and uneven, but it didn't matter. Her voice was refreshing. It took a moment to realize the words were familiar. \n\nThey were mine. They were significantly different coming from her voice than my mind. I didn't recall that my writing was ever that elegant, touching and moving. Her voice was on the edge of breaking. It seemed it took all of her mental fortitude to keep her composure.\n\nThe words lamented of suffering and pain, hardship and loss, and happiness and joy. Words of a better time, words of regret, words that consoled, comforted, inspired dreams, forced introspection, and words that were all too painful to hear.\n\n\nI coughed blood. I looked down and saw a knife between my ribs and my pockets empty. I couldn't help but chuckle at the situation. I only had a few mere copper coins. There was no pain.\n\n\nThe poor girl with my words scribbled on scraps in her hands, was looking at me with compassion. Or was it pity. It didn't matter. I was grateful for her presence.\n\nShe continued reading as my life continued to spill out of knife wound. I didn't know for how long this lasted, but it was enough\n\nTears were streaming down her face. Tears that I didn't deserve. They were lost on me, but I appreciated them nonetheless.\n\n\"You write beautifully\"\n\nWere my words finally able to reach someone? Was my life worth it if they even just touched just one person? Maybe I shouldn't have been striving for immortality. In the end, being able to just touch the heart of just one person was plentiful. \n\n\nThe last words I heard before I drifted off were as bittersweet as this whole encounter.\n\n\n\"What's your name?\"\n\n\n" ]	2
Take this however you will.	[WP] Grandmother sees her grandson off on a fantasy adventure. ...only for her to realize that he forgot his lunch.	[ "After Jayson had waved goodbye and disappeared through the portal of demons, Grandma Buffy turned around, sighed, and briefly thought about the days when she had been the vampire slayer. Oh, the days when the demons were plentiful and her breasts didn't sag to her knees.\n\nComing out of her reverie, she noticed that Jayson had left behind her special Spaghetti and Meatballs with extra, extra garlic. \"That little twit!\" she thought furiously, snatching up the brown paper bag off of the counter. \"I worked for two days on that sauce and I'll be damned if I let it go to waste now.\"\n\nFor a moment she considered simply eating the lunch herself. It would save time, after all, and now that she was pushing the ripe old age of 287, time was a valuable thing. Still, it was the principle. Yes, yes, she knew that Jayson had told her repeatedly that tomato sauce gave him heartburn and to please stop force\\-feeding him her Italian creations.\n\n\"Heartburn, my flabby ass,\" Grandma Buffy spoke aloud to herself. \"If he can be a vampire slayer, he can deal with a little acid reflux.\"\n\nThat settled that. Resolutely, and with a great deal of effort, Grandma Buffy hiked up her stockings and her sagging breasts, and with the paper sack in one hand and a wooden stake in another, she called out, \"Alexa! Open the portal to Hell!\".", "(adding to the prompt) ... and while he tries his hardest and fails at every challenge and moves on, when his grandmother shows up, she solves them Inspector Gadget / Mr. Magoo -style, bumbling and ignorant of the damage she does and the good she makes. \"Timmy! Your lunch!\" Ignoring the fire breathing dragon, who tries to bite her but accidentally swallows a fire extinguisher in stead.", "She saw her grandson off with a tear in her eye. Her little tyke was going off on his first adventure, leaving an empty space in her already barren home. No longer would the furniture be cluttered with his belongings. No longer would they argue about him placing his chainmail on the kitchen table. No longer would she rinse his cuts and warn him about the dangers of the outside world.\n\nThe outside world was now his to conquer.\n\nShe could hardly blame him for wanting to leave her quaint home. The house itself was comfortable. Not too small, not too large. Everything, from the cots to the pots, was organized perfectly to the inch. No matter the morning or evening, a hot meal was served in the kitchen, and late at night they would sing of adventures to the notes of her lute and eat dessert around the hearth.\n\nLiving there felt like a dream. It was as close to a perfect life as she could give him. So when he told her he needed to leave, she understood.\n\nHe was never meant to be kept up in such a place, confined by ease of life. Maybe for a few years he belonged there, but he outgrew it faster than she would like to admit. Listening to tales from his grandmother quickly turned into wanting to stay up late while wandering the surrounding forest. Scoldings about not eating enough food at supper turned into scoldings about approaching the beasts of the river willy-nilly.\n\nShe worried about her little tyke, but in his eye she saw a gleam for something more. Something great. Knowing there was no stopping him, she was anxious for the day she would have to say goodbye. \n\nWhen there is no stopping something from happening, all you can do is prepare, and prepare she did.\n\nIn the songs and tales sung around the hearth at night, she slipped in bits of advice for her grandson. When the hero approached the dragon, he was always prepared, physically and mentally. He kept a sharpened sword, a sturdy shield, and clean armor. His mind was exercised by the libraries of the great cities to the east. Suddenly the hero was always well fed, and his hunting and gathering processes were told in detail. She devised rhymes warning against poisonous shrubs and choruses praising good relations among peoples. \n\nWhen she saw her grandson walk away, a scabbard at his side and a pack on his back full of pots, utensils, and clothes, she worried, but she had faith in him. She had given him all she could, and now all she could do was trust that that would be enough. He was a strong young man, no longer the tot that would bring her home the rabbits he hunted, crying because he took a life.\n\nShe sighed, wiped her tears, and turned away as her grandson passed beyond the horizon. The house would never be the same. Though, it didn’t matter much anyway. Her days were numbered after all.\n\nShe walked back into the kitchen and collapsed onto the nearest stool. As she collapsed though, her foot brushed the corner of a burlap sack on the floor. Looking down, she saw the neatly wrapped lunch she had packed for her little tyke. It contained all his favorites that she cooked for him, from a sheep sandwich on rye to salted crackers with a sprig of tuth’l leaf.\n\nWith a burst of energy, she snatched up the sack and ran out to her front porch and called for her grandson to come back to her. When there was no response, she began to sob. Tears rapidly ran down her face and dripped onto her blouse. She fell to her knees and the oak boards of the porch creaked beneath her.\n\nFor a moment, she considered running after him, following his adventure until she could safely deliver the food to him. Maybe she would have in her younger years, but her days were numbered, and she no longer had such energy in her.\n\nShe thought of her proud young grandson starting on his journey. Starting his life. She remembered the gleam in his eyes as he hugged her goodbye. The gleam he had always had. This was something he was ready for. She had faith he could make it with one less meal cooked by her.\n\nShe choked as she clutched the burlap sack tightly to her chest. Through her cries, her stomach grumbled, and she looked to what she held. With one last sob and wobbling knees, she stood up with the lunch and walked back into the kitchen, where she sat down and ate her grandson’s favorite foods. Perhaps it was her that needed the help.\n\nHer little tyke would be okay. She knew that much in her heart. She would be too, but for that she could only guess.\n" ]	3
	[WP] The universe is infinite. A company offers to teleport you to a place where anything you want is reality.	[ "“We all have our fantasies and desires. But our lives won’t let them become reality. We have mouths to feed, jobs to do, bills to pay. What if I told you you could own that mansion on Mars, or go on a trip to see that exploding star?”\n\nThe man on the volumetric display speaks excitedly. \nBut my girlfriend cheated on me. I can’t find a job. This place is a fucking dump. Excited is not a word I would use to describe myself right now. \n\n“The universe is infinite. We know that. But have you ever thought that, if the universe is infinite, so are the possibilities? Here at Beyond, we have spent years researching and perfecting technology to take you to the one place in the universe that’s perfect for you. Why settle for Mars when you can own a star system of your own?”\n\nI have to admit, I am feeling a hint of excitement deep within me.\n\n“It doesn’t matter what you want, so long as it’s legal. Contact us to make your dreams a reality today. Beyond: it’s better than reality.”\n\nA “contact” button pops up on the display. What if I could move out of this place? What if I could get her back? What if this is what I’ve been waiting for?\n\nI get up and reach for the button. My hand touches the light, and a dialog appears. I ignore the legalese and skip straight to the huge numbers with the dollar sign: it’s going to cost me all I have, but I’ll have so much more once I do this. Just a few taps, and I have a rift waiting for me. A rift that will take me to the perfect place in the universe. Just for us. " ]	1
	[WP] "ugh what's the point in being god if you can only Change stuff with a unanimous vote from the Council of supreme beings?"	[ "I've watched enough human lives to know that giving your son superiority in any enterprise is a gamble. I thought I did the responsible thing by making him suffer to learn how it feels but now it's like he thinks he's better than everyone because of it. We need to change the rules, this unanimous thing is getting on my last nerve. We can't even decide to have some fun with Justin Bieber without that nitwit getting all feely and soft. They have a reserved place in heaven medamn it! I literally give everyone an eternity of bliss, blowjobs and whatnot in exchange for letting me play with them for a few years and my own son thinks I'm cruel. I'll teach him cruel. I'll just throw some tender boy penis in his precious little catholic choirs and we'll see who's laughing. He won't even notice my hand in it, and if he does one can always blame Lucifer. Maybe I can still send him back down there? I should ask Zeus, he's got experience with these sort of things. And if we have to take a vote on throwing him back down there, does his vote still count? Surely it shouldn't since he's obviously biased. Thot won't mind, he hates his guts anyway, Athena might defend him... I told Zeus we shouldn't do women, but then again he told me not to let my son get such a powertrip. I should have listened when I had the chance. Jesus fucking Christ." ]	1
	[WP] The first autonomous AI is completed , after a few interaction with us it goes silent and not long after a spaceship appears over earths orbit, they want to meet "her"	[ "\"Oh, the humanity!\" the radio crackled. Dave turned the dial off. He had never been to a museum of this kind. Nor had anyone really. \nIt was one of the first projects of the Monterey Project, the first collaborative Artificial Intelligence project taken on by a series of corporations who had recently made breakthroughs in AI. \nThe museum he walked through was the first museum designed entirely by Artificial Intelligence to display the history of humanity. \nChildren and parents crowded in the large ornate corridors moving swiftly through the centuries taking in every aspect of \"our\" greatest achievements and greatest disasters.\nDave was captivated by the Hindenburg room. A display so thick with the failures of human hubris that he almost felt sick at its implication. Picture's of the enormous zeppelin engulfed in flames lined the walls. The newsreel footage silently on repeat on the replica of an old black and white television. \nDave was not here to engage in the spectacle. He was not impressed that art had created art. He was not convinced that this was a breakthrough of human achievement but more of an inevitable disaster. The thought surrounded him like the repeated images of the downed Hindenburg around him.\nAs he flipped through news clippings about the day in 1937 he thought about the looming machine. The extra-terrestrial craft that had been floating above Monterey for the past month. What bothered him was how the world went on like nothing was wrong or happening. The people waited patiently for some outside force to report on the situation and give assurance or clarity about it's arrival. Most awaited some form of communication from the beings. \nDave, however, was convinced that they were already in contact. Although, not with us but with what we had created.\nHe flipped rapidly until he found it. The New York Times news clipping from the next day.\nHe pulled out a exact copy that he had printed from the internet. It was exactly what he suspected. The dates, ages, and casualty numbers had not matched. Here there was a code. Maybe implanted by the AI itself, maybe by some of the computer scientists involved with the project. It was unclear.\nHe ripped the page out when no one was looking and then walked briskly to the exit.\n\"Stop,\" an employee yelled as he exited the gates. \"You dropped something!\" Dave grabbed the article and briskly headed for the courtyard. \nSitting in the green courtyard he looked up and could see the looming machine. Silver just like the Hindenburg. He began to decode the message from the news clipping.\n17...04...11:22... am.. \n\"April 17th, 11:22 am.\" He looked at his phone to check the time and date. \"That's... now.\" The phone vibrated and displayed a message. 'Location services enabled.' As he tried to disable the setting he heard a long jarring screech come from overhead. He covered his ears and looked up as the megastructure opened and thousands and thousands of drone-like machines poured from its hull. They blocked out the sun and made their decent... Dave could only watch and wait in horror." ]	1
A tsundere is someone who seems very mean and cold, but is sweet on the inside. A Shonen Hero is someone hot-blooded and full of Japanese spirit. A yandere is someone obsessively in love with somebody. A kuudere is someone silent, cold, and blunt.	[WP] Your mother is a Tsundere. Your father is a Shonen Hero. Your younger sister is a Yandere. Your other sister is a Kuudere. You are literally the only normal person in your family. Tell us of a typical day in your life	[ "I'm just your average high school student. My family on the other hand...\n\n\"Wake..........birthday....\" a dull stare greeted me from the door as I roll around in my sheets, groaning, hoping to prolong my sleep for just a few more moments.\n\n\"..........breakfast........\" the stare increased in intensity, to the point that I could almost here the miiii in the background. \n\nMy youngest sister, Kuu-chan. Couldn't get her to say more than 6 syllables in an hour if her life depended on it.\n\nShooing her from my room, I savor my last moments in bed before I drag myself towards my closet for my new school uniform.\n\nStaring at my sleepy reflection in the mirror, trying to force my beadhead into an acceptable shape, a sudden thumping noise from the other side of my wall startles me backwards. Moments later, the sharp end of a nail pierces my mirror from behind, shattering it, stopping barely inches from where my nose was.\n\nHurried footsteps sounds from down the hall as my door is flung open by my other younger sister.\n\n\"I'm so sorry Onii-channnn\" a flushed, teary eyed face filled my vision as she somehow manages to cross my rather messy room in a single bound, knife in one hand and hammer in the other\n\n\"Another voodoo doll, Yan?\" I remark dryly, examining the wreckage of glass on my bedroom floor\n\n\"Ara, how embarrassing!\" Yan-chan grabs her cheeks, swaying and grinning to herself, \"I had just gotten such a good SAMPLE from the BITCH who is stalking my beloved SENPAI\"\n\nAnother crack fills the room as my 14 year old sister manages to crush the metal knife in her hand into shards, thinking about her new rival of the week.\n\n\"O-okay,\" I stammer, glancing at new metal shards that have joined the glass wreckage on my bedroom floor, \"Hope it all works out, please clean up your mess, I'm going to go get breakfast now...\"\n\nRetreating slowly I make a dash for the stairs before Yan decides to misdirect her anger towards her new rival to something or someone else.\n\n\"Oh, happy birthday, Onii-chan!!\" Yan yells after me, sticking her head out into the landing from my doorway\n\nSighing deeply to myself as I reach the bottom of the stairs, I brace myself, grab my schoolbag to shield my head and open the door to the dining room. \n\n\"B-BAKA!\" a familiar voice rang out from across the room. A couple of apples and a flower vase bounce off my bag and crashes onto the tatami floor, splashing my pant leg with water. \"I-i-i-it's not like I love you or anything!\"\n\nLowering my school bag, I see my parents having their usual morning face-off in the middle of the room, my mom blushing fiercely, my dad with his usual foolish and bright smile plastered across his face.\n\n\"Aw, honey!\" My dad says in his normal brash, boisterous yell, \"I love you too! The power of our love and friendship will allow me to overcome any odds at work today!!\"\n\nAnother vase careens full force into his nose, leaving a cartoonish looking lump and bandage in its wake, yet somehow not shaking his smile a single degree. \n\n\"S-S-S-Stupid! Idiot!\" My mom managed to turn a brand new color of purple-red, clouds of steam now rising from the top of her glossy red hair, tied up into long, sleek twintails.\n\n\"Oh, good morning, son!\" My dad turned to greet me, seemingly oblivious to the fact that his wife appeared to be turning plum colored, \"Happy 16th my young man! It's a big day for you, new school and one year older! You have come of age my child, my dearest wish is that this year you will find the nakama to fill your heart and support you through all life's troubles!!\"\n\nI give him a weak smile as he begins pounding on my back, about to launch into a speech on his favorite topic, friendship. \n\nAn elaborate birthday cake, fancy breakfast and packed lunch slide into my view as my mother sidles closer to me and my dad.\n\n\"H-h-happy birthday, dear\" she stammers, fiddling with her hair and poking her index fingers together, blushing and examining the cracks in the tatami, \"I had some extra birthday cake in the fridge...IT'S NOT LIKE I MADE YOU A CAKE AND YOUR FAVORITE MEALS FOR YOUR SPECIAL DAY OR ANYTHING\" \n\nI nod at her silently, hoping she wouldn't destroy the delicious looking food out of embarrassment or anything.\n\n\"My honey!!\" My dad cried, grabbing my mom's hand, \"How thoughtful of you to make something special! The power of your love is truly on a different level!!\"\n\nMy mom's eyes widen, the blush on her face gaining yet another shade of red. Twisting her hip and pulling my dad forward, my mom judo throws my father through our living room wall, displaying an almost flawless martial arts form.\n\n\"D-d-d-don't just do something so lewd in front of our son!\" She screams, before storming into the kitchen and slamming the door.\n\nQuickly grabbing my lunch before it could be met with any more violence, I run out the door, rushing to change into my shoes and yelling something over my shoulder about being late for my first day of school.\n\n\"But it's only 4 am, son!\" My dad yelled after me. But it was too late. I was already out the door.\n\nWalking carefully down the sidewalk to school, I check my phone, 4:02 am, just as planned. The start of year ceremony is at 8 am, I had plenty of time to carefully make it to school in time with zero...incidents\n\nChecking around the corner and giving the wall a wide berth. I take a tentative step forward before quickly retreating several steps, just in time to avoid a wild-looking blonde girl zooming by on a bicycle, toast in her mouth, wearing the school uniform as me but clearly heading in the opposite direction.\n\nClose call. We could have crashed into each other and started something bad.\n\nTaking careful steps forward, I check all directions for any other strange girls, spotting several, standing conveniently in a passing breeze that was threatening to lift their very short shirts up to reveal.....I quickly fix my gaze at the nearby rooftops.\n\nA homeless lady in expensive looking shawls shifts on sidewalk ahead of me. I quickly drop my gaze and turn to cross the street. It's best to avoid shady characters this early in the morning....especially this morning.\n\nChecking both ways as I cross the street, I wait several seconds after the walk sign signals that it's OK to cross, letting the out-of-control truck careen past my nose before crossing quickly. Another close call. If I had been hit by that, I would have definitely been sent to another, probably fantasy-RPG themed, world.\n\nSuccessfully crossing the street, I check the map on my phone, 1.5 more miles to school.\n\nI had spent a lot of time picking this school. Not on a mountain, not on the other side of a sketchy tunnel with only one bus line that goes there. Not too rural, not too urban, no free scholarships and definitely not the most elite or worst school in the area. I checked and double checked that it was, in fact a co-ed high school, not some career training school or recently converted all-girls school. I trawled through the internet to make sure it wasnt built on a historical site, or had an old, sealed-off but for some reason not torn down extra building.\n\nA perfectly normal high school.\n\nAnd me? I was going to be a perfectly normal high school student.\n\nStepping over several very lifelike cute plushies and dodging a girl I recognized from my elementary school and middle school, I check my phone again. 5 am. I was going to get to school on time with no flags raised if it killed me.\n\nBecause, I am a perfectly normal high school protagonist of this bad manga pilot and I am going to live a peaceful and normal life, Thank You Very Much.\n\nNo matter what my dear, wishy-washy (overworked) writer and you damn readers want.", "My mom is a Tsundere. She’s cold-hearted and mean at first, like she refused to breastfeed me (I know cause my dad, whom I will get to soon, makes jokes about it all the time). She didn’t really hug me till I was four and told her how much I loved her. It took her four years to hug me. And in that time, she had another daughter, making us a total of three sisters. Sometimes I’d catch her humming to herself and making breakfast. She tries to keep it a secret, but she’s actually rather sweet.\n\nMy dad is a Shonen Hero. Yes, you read that right. He’s straight out of a manga book I stole from the library. He’s loud and showy. He’ll be all up in your face. Then he’ll be in the backyard on the swing alone. His parents died in Vietnam. Grandfather was a nurse and grandmother was a foot soldier. They met in the war. They had him in the war. Then they died just as the war would come to an end. So, he was raised by his aunt but swore to himself that he would make a big family of his own one day to love and cherish. He’s a firefighter now, famous for his bravery and selflessness. I guess it’s no surprise he had three daughters after falling in love with his childhood crush (mom, who at first refused to be around him but slowly grew to adore him). I know he’ll always be in my corner.\n\nMy older sister is a Kuudere. Maybe she gets the cold and calm from our mother, but you’ll never see her break a sweat. A guy crashed right into her car once on the highway and she stepped out of the wreckage like she just wanted to stretch. She called the cops. Insurance. The guy shit his pants and offered to pay for everything. All because she looked irritated while he thanked his god for being alive and apologized over and over. The thing is, I know her secret. She’s gay, in love with this girl from our high school. But she would never admit it. To her, emotions are a weakness, even though she has plenty to share. She’d rather put up a shield of sarcasm than a hug, but I’ll hug her anyway just to let her know how much I love her and wish she was here.\n\nMy younger sister is no better. She’s worse. The complete opposite. She’ll be all lovey-dovey and happy and bright, then as soon as she has you in her grips, it’s chaotic and crazy. She knows you’ve fallen for her, so she’ll just be herself. Which I guess is admirable. But I saw her literally beat the spittle out of this kid (breaking his arm and giving him two black eyes) because he called her friend a whore. She was eight when that happened. I guess that’s why people like her so much. If you’re on her good side, she’ll go to any length to have your back. I worry about her cause it’ll definitely get her in trouble someday. But I’m also happy knowing that she’ll be there for me.\n\nAs for me? I live alone now. I work from 9 to 5 and I come home to my empty apartment. I make dinner for one and it’s either some premade shit or I’ll order something quick. I sit in front of my computer in the dark watching my family live out their lives. Over and over. It’s just this one show about a family of five. A mom and a dad and three sisters who take on the world and are smiling all the time. I always pretend I’m the middle sibling (whose character is just there to narrate everything), mostly because then I can actually be in the middle and feel like I’m surrounded by loved ones. I leave the computer running all the time, even when I’m not home. I’m kind of scared they’ll leave me if I shut it off.\n\n\n", "I don’t know what I’ve done for the universe to bestow upon me such a family.\n\nDon’t get me wrong, I don’t really hate them, but they’re not the usual kind of people you’d meet.\n\nDad always yells about the power of friendship and love, always looking to prove himself. He’s like a kid. \n\nMom is seemingly always upset and serious when it comes to Dad, but it’s obvious she’s just acting. I can’t figure it why. She's sweet with most other people.\n\nAs for my siblings, my younger (Only by a year) Sis likes a guy. How do I know this ? She keeps pictures of him in our room. Sometimes, at night, I swear that I can hear her doing ... something... I don’t know what she’ll do if she finds out that I know about her... habits. \n\nAlso, that guy she really, really likes already has a girlfriend, and Sis doesn’t like that. She really doesn’t like that. She had this maniacal look on her face when she talked to me about it. \n\nAs for my even younger Sis, I sometimes forget that she’s there. She’s quiet. Very quiet. It’s hard to even remember what she sounds like sometimes. All she really does is draw. She has her room, because Mom thinks she deserves it... Pfft, what a doll. " ]	3
	[WP] A shapeshifter loses his memory in an accident (describe) and can no longer remember his true identity.	[ "I awake in a strange bed, no memory of how I got there. Connected to my arms are tubes and wires to what looks like a bag of some sort of red liquid. The room I am in is all white and I hear beeping to my left.\n\nWhen I look over I see a machine of some sort with lines that spike every so often and weird numbers displayed on the screen.\n\nI try to sit up, but a crushing pain hits me on my abdomen and I get a splitting headache. I reach towards my head and realjze it has been bandaged up and I lift up my bed sheets to that my chest is also bandaged up. As I'm looking down I notice my skin is a very odd shade of orange but on my arm is an almost invisible shade of purple writing. Upon further inspection it reads: \"fix what he has done\".\n\nConfused and frightened of my environment, I start to quickly take out the tubes connected to my arm and alarms start to sound. Soon people in white aprons come flocking in the room restraining me and they inject me with something and I pass out.\n\nWhen I awake, there is a man in a black suit sitting next to me starring at me with grace eyes. He says, \"Welcome back sir. How are you feeling?\" \n\nConfused I reply, \"Hurts. What happened? Who am I?\" The man nods and says, \"The nurse said you would have some low grade memory loss after your shock. Sir, you've been in an accident. More to the point, you've survived an assassination attempt.\"\n\nA chill rushes down my spine and I sit up straighter, which causes me great pain. \"What-what do you mean?\" The man turns on the tv in the room and a the reporter says, \"The assailants shot at the driver and the car crashed into the median-\" the man turns off the tv. \"You took 2 bullets to the chest that were near fatal, but what we were most worried about was the hit to your head. Can you tell me what you remember?\"\n\nI shake my head, \"Nothing, but can you tell me what's written on my arm?\" The man gets a perplexed look and glances at your arm, \"There's.. nothing there sir.. are you sure you're alright?\"\n\nI stare at my arm intently and still see the writing. I think, 'Why can't he see it? Am I really going crazy?' While distracted, the man hands you a phone and says, \"Would you like to tweet to the people that you're okay, Mr. President?\" \n", "Birds chirp. They sing. They caw. I turn my head to look at the bird. Suddenly, I feel small. I glance down and see feathers. \n\nWhat are the feathers for?\n\nBird. \n\nThey're for the bird. The bird is me. A tree stands below. Suddenly, I feel like I'm growing. \n\nNo. Impossible. I am a bird. I stop growing and feel small again. \n\n\"Where did he go?\" I flick my head to the side. There's a being yelling as she stands in the building. Another being barges in. \n\n\"The man! He's gone!\" \n\n\"What do you mean gone? Hilda, he's paralysed and in a coma!\" They shout to each other. \n\n\"I don't know! But we have to find that man! Come on!\" They disappear from sight.\n\nThe man. He. Him. Who is that? Hilda. That is Hilda.\n\nI felt a change in my body. I was no longer small and full of feathers. I looked like the beings in the building. Long shapes prodded from me. The touched the grass, that's how long they were. More shapes prodded from me, I was able to move them more than the ones below me. \n\nI copied the being's movement and dropped from the tree. I walked around the building. More beings like me were coming in and out of the building. I wanted to go into the building. \n\n\"Mommy, that woman is naked!\" A loud whisper came from a small being similar to me.\n\n\"Charles, don't point! Woman, put some clothes on you disgusting creep!\" Being like me said. She grabbed small being and they left. \n\nLady. Woman. Creep. I looked at it, the Charles, and looked at me. There were differences. My eye level changed. I was closer to the ground now. I look down.\n\nHow odd. There is differences between Charles and lady. \n\nI walk into the building. There are more beings. Some look like lady, woman, creep. None look like Charles. \n\n\"Excuse me, son, where's your mom? You can't be walking around here without clothes.\" Being not like Charles or lady or woman or creep said. \n\n\"Not. Son. Charles.\" The being changed his look. \n\n\"Alright, I'm Dr. Ross. Why don't you come with me?\" Dr. Ross being said and took of... clothes. Clothes was given to Charles. \n\nClothes did not fit Charles. There was a change and a loud bang. Dr. Ross did not look the same as before. Dr. Ross ran. I look at stumpy appendages sticking out of me. They look like Dr. Ross.\n\nI am Dr. Ross.\n\nWith clothes on, I walk more. I want to find Hilda. I want to help Hilda find Man, he, him. \n\nI walk and walk. Lady, woman, creep make noises when I pass. No Hilda. \n\nI walk to window and see a tree with a little bird. Hilda was here. I change. \n\n\"Excuse me, who are you?\" Someone asks.\n\nWho am I? I am... Bird, Hilda, Lady, Woman, Creep, Charles Dr. Ross... No. That's not right. How can I be all of them? Bird and Hilda don't look alike. Nor do Lady or Charles or Charles and Dr. Ross. Who am I? \n\n\"Kurt Winston?\" Voice asks.\n\n\"Who?\" whispers.\n\n\"The man who's missing, his name is Kurt Winston. He was in this room.\" \n\nKurt. Winston. The man. He. Kurt Winston. \n\nWho is Kurt Winston?\n\n\"Kurt?\" Same voice asks. \n\nKurt. \n\nKurt.\n\nKurtKurtKurtKurtKurtKurtKurtKurtKurt. \n\nWhat does Kurt look like? \n\n\"Hilda, that can't be Kurt Winston. Mr. Winston can't walk.\" Whispers.\n\nSuddenly, the long sticks point out of me stop working. I drop and flop to the ground. This is what Kurt does. Kurt cannot walk. \n\n\"What the hell just happened? I'm calling the police Hilda, don't go near him!\" \n\n\"Kurt? It's you isn't it?\" Voice says. Hilda? Yes. \"Kurt?\"\n\nI don't know. Am I man missing? \n\nI look around room. I stare at the shiny thing in front of me. A being is staring at me. Not a Bird or a Hilda or lady or woman or creep or Charles or Dr. Ross. \n\nI don't know what it is. It is none of those things. I don't want to be those things. I want to be... me.\n\nBeing changes. Appendages change. Still cannot walk. Like Kurt. I am like Kurt. Being like Kurt changes again. \n\nSounds. I turn my head. Hilda is there, something white in her hand. \n\n\"Its alright. You're Kurt Winston. It's ok. I know it's confusing. You were in a terrible accident.\" \n\n\"Not. Kurt.\" I say. \n\n\"Yes, you're Kurt. Look here, this is you.\" White object is put in front of me. A being on the object is copying me... copying my body... \n\n\"A-cc-accident?\" \n\n\"Yes. Authorities found you by the train tracks. Do you remember anything?\" Hilda asks.\n\n\"No.\"\n\n\"You were in a coma for eight months and sadly... it left you paralysed and you lost your memories...\" \n\n\"Oh. Mem... Memories?\" Who is memories?\n\n\"Uh, memories, the things you.. um.. you go through life in moments... and you save those moments... they're called memories.\"\n\nMemories. Memories doesn't sound like me. Memories isn't paralysed.\n\n\"And I am Kurt Winston?\" Not memories?\n\n\"Yes, you're Kurt Winston.\" She repeats slowly. \n\nI am Kurt Winston. " ]	2
	[WP] A Cryptozoologist searching for Bigfoot accidently finds his way to a parallel universe earth where humans are long extinct and Bigfoot has become the dominant species. He now has Cryptozoologist Bigfoot’s searching for him…	[ "> \"Here in the forests of North America, a creature of myth and legend is said to roam. It has many names, but most know it as 'Tinyfoot.' What is Tinyfoot? Where does it live? What does it want? And what evidence is there that it even exists? Join us as we explore the myth and legend of the most mysterious creature ever to roam our planet.\"\n\nBob and Sally sit on their old leather couch. Bob is smoking the nub of a blunt and Sally is munching on a giant pile of raw celery greens. Sally shakes her fur covered head.\n\n\"Why do you watch this stuff Bob?\"\n\nBob holds his breath and then coughs out a prodigious plume of pungent smoke. He talks through the coughing. \"Cause it's crazy Sal.\" Cough. \"A little version of us.\" Cough. \"Hiding in the woods, for decades?!\" Cough. \"How crazy is that?\"\n\nSally doesn't think it's all that crazy. \"I guess.\" She chews off the head of a fresh stalk of celery as the narrator continues.\n\n> For over thirty years, Tinyfoot has been a recurring legend in North America. Beginning with the first sighting by a woodsman and his family in 1994, every few years interest in Tinyfoot increases and new information comes to light.\n\nOn the screen there is a very grainy photo of what looks like a small, bipedal figure, almost hairless, turning to look at the camera from inside of a forest. Sally can hardly make out any detail at all.\n\n\"See, this is what I mean, what is that even evidence of?\" Sally says through a crunchy mouthful of vegetable matter. \n\nBob is rapt, staring at the TV. He shushes Sally annoyedly. \n\n> \"The range of evidence in the last three decades has been extensive, but never concrete. Always Tinyfoot seems to evade direct detection or capture. Professor Hairy Largeknuckle of the University of Westvine has been studying Tinyfoot his entire career.\"\n\nSally burst into laughter. \"What an illustrious career that* must have been. Ape oh ape, you've got to be fucking kidding.\"\n\n\"Hey if you don't want to watch,\" Bob lost his train of thought mid sentence and slowly turned back to the screen. Proffesor Largeknuckle was speaking, holding a plaster impression of what could only be described as a tiny footprint.\n\nSally bent over and scratched a spot on the top of her brown, hairy foot. \"Fine.\"\n\nThe professor was only 7 feet tall, at most, with gray hairs over his whole body, barely trimmed. He looked like a rabid chimp.\n\n> \"...wily. In all my years of seeking out Tinyfoot, the closest I ever came to trapping him was leaving some strange supplies behind as a lure. I found that human treats would sometimes disappear when left in the forest over night. Now some of my colleagues were quick to attribute this to stray dogs or racoons. But what racoon leaves a print like this, I ask you?\"\n\nBob muttered to himself, amazed. \"No racoon I've ever seen.\" \n\n\"Are you really talking to the TV?\" Sally was incredulous.\n\n\"So what if I am?\" Bob seemed to notice the celery for the first time and reached over for one. \n\nSally pulled the plate away. \"Oh no, not with that attitude you don't.\" \n\nBob's bulbous eyes were bloodshot and he took a kind of semi-mocking offense. \"Attitude? Me? I'm not the one knocking Tinyfoot.\"\n\nHe reached for the celery again and Sally stood up playfully, all seven and a half feet of stomping brown hair and muscle, holding the celery over her head. \"You can have celery if you apologize.\" \n\n\"Never\"\n\n\"Fine with me.\" Sally made a big show of chomping on a particularly juicy stalk, spinning around and waltzing out of the room. Bob stopped her just as she reached the giant bedroom doorframe. \n\n\"OK!\" Bob frowned. \"I'm sorry Sally.\" \n\nSally walked back over to the couch and plopped down again beside Bob with a heavy thud, causing the floorboards to creak. \"You better be.\" Then she handed over the plate of celery and Bob happily began chewing on a stalk. \"Now, can we please turn this shit off?\"\n\nBob frowned again but relented. He picked up the remote to change the channel, cutting off the professor mid sentence.\n\n> \"...sometimes I do. I feel a certain kindred connection with Tinyfoot, as though we are not so different, him and I. Perhaps one day...\"\n\nThe channel changed and three giant hairy apes stood behind pedestals while another ape with a blond coif and a red bowtie clipped at his neck held a microphone.\n\n> \"And the actual retail price is 999 Acorns! That means Jeremy, you did it with your 1 Acorn bid. Come on down!\"\n\nJeremy, a plain looking giant ape with a befuddled look races over to the host, ready to play for a new washing machine. Bob and Sally cuddle up close together on the couch and settle in over their celery.\n\n*******\n\n##### For More Legends From The Multiverse\n\n##### r/LFTM\n\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] You are trapped in a metal corridor with no means of escape. A creature is slowly coming with the intention of killing you. You have no means of rest or using basic hygiene products like the lavatory. Your only food is a single sandwich every two miles.	[ "At first, I had sprinted as fast as I could away from the creature. Eventually, I was walking slow enough to keep an eye on it. The monster was bigger than me and pure muscle. But in the confined space, it had to crawl which made it slow. It's teeth were razor sharp. Its eyes glowed red. \n\nBut it was real. And real things use energy. Energy that is sustained by eating. And I was getting hungry. That's about the time that the first sandwich popped up. Big. Beautiful. A plentiful amount of tomatoes. A good balance of meat and bread. Amazing hand made mayo. It was the perfect sandwich.\n\nThat gave me a dilemma. In the battle between hunter and prey, it's normally a war of attrition. The sandwiches had enough moisture in the tomatoes to sustain my fluids. The meat had protein. The bread, carbohydrates. The sandwich was big, maybe 1000 calories. I was only burning about 100 calories a mile, and I was being given a sandwich every two. That left a surplus of over half a sandwich of unnecessary calories and weight. Unnecessary calories that I didn't want going to the monster.\n\nIt looks like they had thought of everything. I could keep carrying the sandwiches, which would add weight and wear me out. Or, I could eat the sandwiches, which would almost accomplish the same thing. I couldn't prevent the sandwiches from being left behind at some point. At 1lb per sandwich, I would only make it at most 3 days before being laden with 30+ pounds of sandwiches. I'm not weak, but I don't have that kind of stamina.\n\nRather than wait 3 days to find out what would happen if the monster got a sandwich, I had decided to give it one pretty much immediately. It had gobbled it up. So, it likes sandwiches and it wants to eat me and evidently we're all stuck down in a corridor together. I couldn't starve it to death (my original plan). I had to think of another way.\n\nI'd like to say that the idea hit me light a lightbulb. But it hadn't. More like the form of a smelly burp. My smelly burp. Full of the fresh, partly processed smells of fresh sandwich. With fresh mayo. I stopped giving the monster the leftover portion of sandwich. Instead, I held onto it. And held onto it. For almost I day I gathered sandwiches, keeping track of which one was the oldest. The monster was getting very, very hungry.\n\nMayo doesn't sit will outside of the fridge. In fact, it can become quite deadly - especially in mixed mediums. Like meat that is also outside of a fridge. And I had just given the monster four deadly sandwiches. It gobbled them right up. I continued collecting sandwiches, eating some of the fresh one and holding onto the rest of it before laying down more deadly sandwiches. I was practically juggling over a dozen sandwiches at a time.\n\nBy the middle of day two, the monster showed its first sign of problems. I'd like to point out that I had also been eating all of the tomatoes from the sandwiches. The monster had been going without fluids for over 24 hours. And it was slowing down and frothing at the mouth. The mayo finally took its toll and the monster spewed out an unworldly conglomerate of sandwich pieces and bile. I had the foresight to keep my distance; I'm not sure what bacteria live in its stomach.\n\nI was low on sleep, but I knew that if I ran for a bit I could buy myself an hour's worth of time while crawled to catch up. The monster made enough noise on the metal walls to wake me up when it got close, so I wasn't very worried about getting killed while resting. I've got to admit, that first hour of sleep was the best I'd gotten in a long time.\n\nThe metal grating woke me from my slumber. The monster was getting close. I went and took a look at it. It was breathing heavy. Its eyes didn't have the bright glow that they originally had. The teeth were dull from what must have been a whole slew of vomiting. I could almost touch survival. Another day, and I knew it would be dead.\n\nSo I had waited. And it had died. It wasn't an amazing, victorious feeling. More of a quiet loss of life. When you're alone with another living being, you oddly become attached to its presence. I walked for a bit further down the corridor by myself. I came across what would be my final sandwich, when a door opened next to me.\n\n\"Space Cadet, would you mind explaining yourself.\" It was the American General. I had heard of him, of course. This was my first time meeting him. \"Well, I volunteered for this challenge because no one had beaten it.\" It was true. There was no one else. It had appeared to be an impossible scenario, and none had escaped. I doubt the American space General had even expected me to finish alive. \"You weren't supposed to beat it. That's the point. You were supposed to go on for forever, give up, or get eaten.\"\n\nI looked at him for a bit. He looked at me. \"Want to try again? \"" ]	1
	[WP] As a child you learned that every word you speak brings you closer to your death and now you can feel your final words are close at hand.	[ "When I opened my eyes for the first time, and the light from the delivery room was the first to penetrate my eyelids and register in my brain, my body didn't make noise. As if by instinct, from understanding the implications of it, I made no words or babblings in my first moments, so I could savor my last. The doctor didn't speak either, instead just giving a thumbs up to my mother, letting her know we were okay. \n\nThey called it the Arcs, or articulation retention central system. Its creator is unknown, but it tracks everyone on the planet through a little microchip implanted in the Broca's area. Once you come to 4.9 M words, your chip will buzz informing you that's where you're at. At 4.95M, you get a warm sensation, like you have to pee, except in your head. And, when you have 100 words left, enough for a sentence or two, you are given a sharp pain in your left foot. It's called the speakers hobble, because it doesn't go away. The chip wants to take your life, so it makes it uncomfortable in your last moments.\n\nAround the city are orators: typically older men who didn't speak for their earlier lives. They get paid handsomely to talk on stages for hours on end, using a million words at a time -- but getting a dollar a word. Enough to retire on, for them. There are warriors: those who have under 500,000 words left that wish to fight and die in battle. Scholars, who have any length of words left, but simply wish to learn more. Teachers, Doctors, Service industry workers. All the jobs of a functional city. And yet, for a city which should be loud, it's so quiet. No one speaks when you walk down a street, couples who have been together 70 years will limp down a street together, savoring a moment by pointing at something and then kissing. Bars don't have noise -- men will walk up to women, and if a woman thinks he's attractive she kisses him and takes him home for some fun.\n\nAmelia and I... we met in college. She was sitting in the back row in a class with a teacher who was, by all accounts, ridiculous. He would throw words around and talk about thinks like he had no cares in the world. Like his count wasn't coming up. \n\nShe came up to me after class, and we ended up talking for hours. I knew that day I would marry her. It was worth the 100,000 words I used. \n\nLife got hard, more confusing, but better. At least we were together through it all...good and bad. \n\nThen, my father died. I stood at the podium as he went under and I spent yet another 50,000 words to commemorate his death. I spoke of how well respected he was, and how even though he was a smoker he deserved the long life he got. How he never had the hobble, he simply passed. \n\nHalfway through the speech, I felt a buzz. Too soon, I thought. I've barely spent two million through my life thus far. I've been so careful; I've tracked it out. But the system was never wrong, so we say. \n\nFive years and 99,700 words later, I knew my time was coming. We had tracked it, and I knew what I needed to say. I just...hadn't figured out how. But that was irrelevant now. We were at the end of the line, so I had to make it work.\n\nI looked at my wife. The woman I had built a life, an empire, and a fortune with. I stared so deep into her eyes so that I could savor them, even in death. \n\n\"I promised you an empire,\" I began. \"I gave you the best I could. I provided the best I could through it all. Every spare word I had went to you. Every day, I woke up next to the woman I loved so dearly and so deeply. You are the best thing that has every happened to me, Amelia. If I could do it all over again, the only thing I would do differently is spend less words in my youth, knowing the woman I was destined to marry was waiting for me. You were, and are, the love of my life. My soulmate, and the person I hope I can spend eternity with in the afterlife. I have loved you since I met you, and even in death I pray that can continue. I am unsure what the future holds for you, but I hope it's as amazing and vibrant as the life we've had together. I hope you can find love again, and find your passions...not just ours. The things we did don't have to be what you do, you can go on without playing cards, without sewing, without antique hunting. I want you to have everything that the world,\" I winced. My left foot hurt, a lot. Like I was stepping on a train track nail, piercing my foot. \"...can offer without me, whatever you want. The fortune is enough. You are all I have ever wanted in this world, and everything I will miss dearly. Our kids will live on, and they will be happy! I'm so grateful for them, but they aren't who I devoted my life to... who I devoted my heart to. That focus is on you. My heart, in entirety, is focused on you. Nothing could ever get in the way of that, not even this... Not the Arcs, not another person, not death.\" I took a breath. Saying so many words at once was exhausting. I had all of ten left. I just smiled and looked at her.\n\n\"My love,\" she began. Her weight seemed to be leaned on my bed, leaning on me. Her right foot rested firmly on the ground, but her left was gingerly touching. \"There is no world without you. I've chosen my words well, throughout my life. And when I'm done with this sentence, I'll have but seven left...so shall we make them count?\" She smiled, the purest one I had seen since we met.\n\"Yes, we should.\" I replied. \n\"I love you,\" She said.\n\"As I you.\" I said as I kissed her, my aging body almost preventing me from it. \n\"May we meet... again.\" The last word pushed out of her mouth like a losing breath, a battle she forced herself to finish. And just like that, she was slumped in my lap. An entire life...gone, over four last words.\n\"May we meet again,\" I said. \n\nAnd the world turned to black." ]	1
Feel free to use whatever song/show/movie you want in place of "I kissed a girl".	[WP] Due to a freak time travel accident, Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" gets broadcast all across 1950's America.	[ "Marilyn Monroe was applying the last of her makeup as she hummed the song that she was about to preform: Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend. After finishing her look with eye popping cherry colored lipstick, she stood up from her seat in front of the mirror and adjusted the pink dress chosen for the occasion. \n\n\nTo be honest, she was a tiny bit nervous. She always was before she preformed. But, Marilyn knew that as soon as she was on stage, the butterflies would disappear. \n\nLeaving the dressing room, she was greeted by the owner of the establishment where she was preforming. “Darling, if you get any prettier, I might have to ask you for some back seat bingo!” he laughed as he escorted Marilyn to the back of the stage. Marilyn just gave a tiny giggle to that comment. “I’m not sure if I should thank you or slap you, Charlie.”\n\n\n“Ouch! You’re a cat with claws!” Charlie replied, but with a friendly demeanor, “But for serious now. You ready to blow them away, Ms. Monroe?”\n\nMarilyn smiled, then with a nod, she approached the stage. \n\n\n“And now, may I present to you all... America’s diamond... The beautiful... MARILYN MONROE!”\n\n\nAs the cheers erupted, Marilyn flung the curtains away as the spotlight centered onto her. It always felt good. Feeling the applause of the people. But now, it was time to sing. Stalking forward to the audience, Marilyn opened her mouth, only to be interrupted by a strange melody that nobody had ever heard before filling the stage. The audience began to go quiet as both they and Marilyn Monroe tried to pinpoint where it was coming from.\n\n\nThen it happened. \n\n\n‘I kissed a girl and I liked it!’\n\n\nMarilyn was appalled, and so was the audience. Seeing that it wasn’t her that was singing this, who was it?! Where is this strange woman who likes kissing girls?! Many paparazzi cameras began to flash as Marilyn Monroe’s bewildered expression grew. This song was more obscene than the controversy surrounding her! She might be a bit inappropriate, but this is farther than she would ever go!\n\n\nAfter what seemed like an eternity, the song (if you would call it a song) ended. The only thing heard now was the horrified silence echoing throughout the entire building. \n\n\nIt was after that day that many historians on the History channel began to air episodes questioning whether this song was actually Monroe’s song... Or if it were an alien broadcast to communicate with the human race.", "#####Too Much Sugar for Margot Merryweather. \n\nAnother blissful morning in Massachusetts, thought Margot Merryweather. The autumnal light was buoyant behind the maple leaves as she looked to the clouds and crossed herself. She made her way down the Parish steps, her crimson heels clattering in symphony with the sparrows. Father had waffled too long again, but a he had been right about the glory of the day.\n\nPetunia approached from her left. Margot swung, with a gentle swish, to greet the sexagenarian.\n\n“Margot, Good Morning!” \n\n“Petunia!” she replied, hoping her lipstick was still in place. \n\n“You look so well, what a fine day” \n\n“Indeed!” Margot responded.\n\n“And where is George this morning?” Asked Petunia, as a sliver of her dark ringlets dared to cross her wrinkled, dimpled visage. \n\n“He is unwell I’m afraid, in bed, the flu” said Margot. “Poor Darling, he’s been quite fatigued so I said he must rest and stay at home - if not for him then for the rest of the congregation”. \n\n“Oh Dear!” Gushed the brunette. “Well I do hope he improves, Dear. He is so lucky he found a woman like you! I was so pleased to see you two marry, I really was. I told Henry - ‘there’s a fine match’ and here you are - all grown up! It’s such a pleasure”.\n\nMargot felt a pink begin to fill her cheeks. She hadn’t missed the questions about her prospective husband that had permeated her potential spinsterdom. Her smile, however, remained well placed, “well thank you Petunia - I do expect he will be well soon.”\n\n“With you looking after him, I dare say he will,” said Petunia, who followed the complement with an unwelcome squeeze of Margot’s cheek. \n\nMargot blinked in recovery from the encounter and headed to the bakery across the road. Her powder blue skirt fluttered as she brisked across the road, purse in hand. \n\nThe window of “McGregor’s” glittered under a yellow and white striped awning. This had become something of a ritual for Margot. After church, usually while George was chatting with the Bishop ad nauseum, she would wait for him here, surveying the baked goods. They seemed to summon her, forming a horizon of technicolour sugar; the bear claws, cream puffs, tarts and danishes shone before her eyes every Sunday. She licked the crayon-like colour on her lips. Perhaps today she would indulge. She was alone after all, George wouldn’t know...\n\n“My Goodness!” Cried some woman nearby. “The obscenity!” \n\nMargot turned to her left. \n\nA crowd had formed in front of Mick’s Tv and Radio’s next door. “This is an outrage!” boomed a bearded fellow that Margot had once seen take change from the collection plate. “Don’t look dear - don’t look”\n\n“Pornography!” Cried another voice.\n\nA woman in a purple skirted suit and jacket then slumped to the ground and Margot became aware of a line - a lyric she supposed - that appeared to continue to repeat. \n\nI kissed a girl and I liked it!\n\nWhat? She wondered. Margot realised she was now standing behind the fainted woman staring at the TV in ‘Mick’s’ store. \n\nThe taste of her cherry chapstick\n\nMargot checked to make sure she wasn’t still licking her lips - what on Earth was going on? On the screen before her was some whorish Elizabeth Taylor singing....\n\nI kissed a girl and I liked it!\n\nShe stood there. Stunned. Who would say such things? Sing such things! \n\nAloud...\n\n“Close your ears dear! Vulgarity!!!” The voice of the organist made its way into Margot’s registered thoughts just as the musician clamped her hands over Margot’s delicate ears. The pink was filling her cheeks again as the hands were unable to block out the profane sound, \n\nI liked it!\n", "\"This is outrage,\" Senator McCarthy said loudly, \"We have all heard this ungodly recording! What is future America like? There you have it, folks. This is exactly what the godless communists want. Do we want our children and children's children associating with homosexuals?\"\n\n\"Calm down, Senator,\" said Senator Brown of New York, \"We don't know if this was a Soviet propaganda attack. This... \"music\" was heard on every radio across the world along with part of what is believed to be a commercial.\"\n\n\"A commercial for erectile dysfunction!\" Senator McCarthy yelled, \"On the radio! Can you imagine? Would the god-fearing people of America allow such a thing now? Professor Dale,\" The senator turned to their expert witness, \"Do you believe as Senator Brown has suggested that this might be a Soviet psychological attack on the good people of our country?\"\n\n\"No,\" the professor was cleaning his fogged up glasses, \"We have analyzed the \"song\" for a week now. The absolute flawlessness of the musical quality is beyond any recording device we have. The recordings of the song we managed to get, it has been agreed, do not match the original quality of the broadcast. We believe this song somehow slipped here from a future time. Some scientists believe that the star Centauris D going nova the previous week had...\"\n\n\"There you have it!\" Senator McCarthy yelled as bulbs flashed, smiling inwardly as he knew he would be on the cover of newspapers across the land, \"It is from the future. Our future. A godless future brought upon us by the infidels that make up the so called Soviet Union! We must stop their disease from spreading and causing this future from happening in which girls kiss girls and LIKE IT!\"\n\nThe video came to an end and Ms. Hudson looked at her rows of students seated in their desks. The boys hair buzz cut, the girls in pony-tails. She smiled and said, \"All this occurred approximately ten years before President McCarthy, with a majority of the Congress passed the Christian Initiative Act. The CIA has helped us maintain the purity of our thoughts to our current day.\"\n\n\"But what about the song?\" Richard asked from the front row after raising his hand and being called upon, \"It's 2018 now, when was it recorded or will be recorded?\"\n\n\"We don't know,\" the teacher smiled, \"Maybe it will never be recorded. We hope that we have defeated the godless communists plans for good. Speaking of, don't forget the canned good drive to help support the troops fighting in Southeast Asia!\" With that she dismissed the class.\n\nMs. Hudson remained in the class as it left and Ms. Laura from next door entered shortly after locking the door and closing the blinds. As soon as they checked that the door was safely locked, they exchanged a kiss and a smile.\n\n\"You know how dangerous this is, Katheryn?\" Ms. Laura said, excitement in her voice.\n\n\"Who cares,\" Ms. Hudson answered her and picked up her book on American History, \"I think I liked it.\"\n\n" ]	3
	[WP] After hours of driving while lost, you finally decided to pull up to a roadside inn to ask for directions. You realize you were more lost than you thought when the person behind the counter summons an Imp to send messages, and has never heard of a phone.	[ "I pulled in after nearly three hours of meandering forest roads, into the dirt car park of what looked like a log cabin themed hotel. They seemed to have taken the theme a bit far, this thing looked damn authentic but the thought of getting some directions, maybe some food pushed that out of my head.\nI parked and reflexively checked my phone. No signal. Of course. It was still early, light streaming through the trees that ringed the lodge. I could've sworn it should have been getting dark by now but my digital watch had given up the ghost. Stupid modern tech.\n\nI walked to the front door, stepping carefully to avoid the large horse droppings all around the car park. Maybe this was near an Amish community?\n\nThe door was solid, it took a good minute of pushing to make my way inside. I brushed myself down and looked around. Definitely some sort of medieval theme.\n\nCandles in sconces were littered around, not lit due to the sun streaming in through the windows. A huge wooden desk was directly in front, piled high with leather text books, a sort of leather bag that looked hand made and an old timey tankard. Taking a hearty swig was an old man, one I knew would be eccentric immediately.\n\nHe wore some flowing navy robes and a squat hat that had an odd red symbol on it. He looked comfortable. \n\nI walked over and smiled at him. He smiled back and said \"Sretch tar noert carillion?\"\n\nOr at least I think he did.\n\n\"Sorry\" I blurted out. I didn't think we got that many Polish out here.\n\nThe man raised an eyebrow before doing a complicated little finger twirl. He stabbed his finger into the wood of the table and my ears popped.\n\n\"Never heard this one before\" the man mumbled at me, staring at a spot just above my shoulder. \"The flying fox fell into the cauldron. The flying fox fell into the cauldron. Most peculiar!\"\n\nYou're telling me I thought but nodded politely.\n\n\"I seem to be lost\" I began, \" And was wondering if you could tell me where I am? Or send for someone?\"\n\n\"Well you're here,\" the man said, scratching an impossibly bushy eyebrow with a carved stick. \"And no mistake. Send for someone? Who?\"\n\n\"Uh AA I guess? Any car retrieval? \"\n\n\"Ca'Retreval...Ca'Retreval\" the man muttered. \"Don't know him! But we'll see if we can't get a message to him.\"\n\nThe man opened his leather bag and took out a small vial, four button mushrooms and a vial of pink glittering powder. I've had my fair share of hipster cocktails in my time but this looked like one'd i'd rather not try.\n\nThe man positioned the four mushrooms at north, east, south and west, sprinkled the powder in the middle and poured in the vial. I waiting a couple of seconds.\n\n\"Maybe ill just wait in the ....\"\n\nSPOINGGGGG\n\n\"Whaddya want ya old troll\" barked a five inch red man. He had minuscule horns, wings to match and a cigar that blew little green clouds.\n\nShit, I thought. I must have already drank that cocktail. \n\n\"Send a message to Ca'Retreval you little scum sucker and be quick about it. Our guest is in a hurry\".\n\nThud\n\n\"In a hurry huh? Then why is he on the floor?\"" ]	1
	[WP] For as long as you can remember, you've been a host to people in the Reincarnation Waiting Room, entertaining them before resetting their memory and sending them back to the world as infants.	[ "Questions, it always starts with the questions. The same ones every time, sure there's some variation but they always boil down to the same ones.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"Where am I?\" This is usually the first, and one of the hardest to explain, this place is everywhere and nowhere at the same time. It might sound simple, and some people do accept it first time, but once you strip away the fundamental human concepts of space and time people can get really freaked out. I've had some of the brightest and cleverest minds humanity has to offer pass through here, but not a single one has truly understood the concept of absolute infinity. I usually just go with something like \"you have crossed over\" or even something vague like \"you are here\" it makes things easier, and my job, after all, is to make things as easy as possible.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe follow up is always \"am I dead?\", again a simple question but not so simple to answer. I mean, yes, technically you're dead by your definition of death, but only your physical body has died. Your soul, consciousness, spirit, psyche, life force, whatever you choose to call it continues on. The universe has always had a strict set of rules, and one of them is that nothing can be unmade, only changed. Take a match, you strike it and burn it and consider it destroyed, but all you've done is change it to ash, smoke and heat, the very essence of the match still exists but in a thousand different forms. The body may be gone, destroyed in a million different ways, but the essence of you still goes on.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"Who are you?\" usually comes about now and it's another one of those questions that, once answered, seems to upset some people. The simple fact is I don't know. I call myself \"The Host\". I know my place in all of this is to ease people to the next step and make the transition as smooth as possible. \"Transition to where?\" they ask, well some religions actually had it right, apart from the whole people coming back as insects and working up thing, that people are reincarnated in to new bodies and start again. No you won't keep your memories, we did try that for a while and it didn't go down too well, a new born baby simply can't hold all the memories of a past life and the base instincts needed to survive. There were a few that could but in almost all cases they abandoned their new lives to reconnect with their old ones. It's also a little unnerving for a toddler born to Icelandic parents to start speaking perfect Mandarin so we continued with the memory wipe.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"So what happens now?\" or \"How does this work?\" is the next one. I have to be careful here, the usual response is that I'll explain that we'll wipe your memories and send you off to a new body. You know how some babies are born and hardly make a sound, those are ones who accept it, the ones who come out crying and screaming, those are the ones who can't come to terms with it and fight the process. However there's actually three options I have, see when a new person arrives I know every single thing about them, every last little action and thought that person has had and I can make a choice. The vast majority of people go back, it's just how it is, it's sometimes worrying just how utterly average people are, they lie, cheat, steal, love, laugh, care and die, then go on to repeat again and again. Then there are some people who are above the base human instincts, they have compassion, logic and a quality about them that lifts them above average human. The very best of them become architects, the shapers and builders of the universe. The last option is for those who simply have no redeeming qualities, everything has a balance and if there are humans who are average and humans who excel then there are the ones who are fundamentally broken. We try to give them a chance and it's always a hard decision but we have to look at the safety of everyone. These irredeemable souls go back, but without a body, empty broken spirits existing only as ethereal beings unable to harm another. \n\n&nbsp;\n\nYou probably have a myriad of other questions right now but unfortunately, as much as I'd love to answer them I have others to host for, you've accepted all this very well so my next question is one to you, \"are you ready?\"" ]	1
	[WP] You just cracked the code to the meaning of life, but it's something no one expected.	[ "It all started when I lost my job\n\nI was so mad at myself when it happened I physically went out and looked for a reason to live. I learned as much as I could as I became obsessed with the idea of it, The Reason, I called it. I lost all contact with anyone I knew just so I could stay at home, in my basement, researching. Then one day, through all the equations and ideas I got it.\n\n(Not done but will come back later to finish)" ]	1
	[WP] Its been watching me for hours now... Sometimes i catch glimpses of it's reflection on the computer screen, but i dare not turn around.	[ "Ok so I don’t have much time. I’ve been searching for a solution and asking Reddit for hours now, but for some reason everything I write comes out gibberish. I was able to use this throwaway account normally, but I don’t know how long it’ll be before he finds out. I’ve been on Reddit for hours now. I don’t know what to do, and I need help. He’s been watching me since about 4 hours ago and I can see him in my computer screen reflection. I don’t know who he is or what he wants. He’s not exactly human, although he has a humanoid figure. But when he turned toward me, it wasn’t normal. It wasn’t anything. I can’t exactly describe it but he didn’t have a face. It was like the essence of darkness itselfeuis had filled in the void.\n\nHe’s been talking to me. Well, not exactly talking. It’s more like I was receiving his thoughts. He’s trying to convince me to skspqwis stop fighting and give in to the darkness, but I don’t know why it wants me.\n\nLet me back up a bit.\n\nSo I was browsing r/nosleep. I usually sort by new to see potential good writers that are overlooked, but there wasn’t anything too great. Finally I found something that looked interesting and clicked on one that looked particularly exciting, but as soon as I did, the lights in my room went out. The computer screen shut off, and I felt a feeling of unimaginable horror - a wave of spskhrj darkness floating through me, as if my soul was being ripped out of my body. It was horrible, and I wouldn’t wish the experience on anyone.\n\nThen all of a sudden everything dhshskap was normal, but that feeling of panic and dread stayed. The lights in my room began to flicker on and off, and have been like that since. My computer screen turned back on, and in the reflection, it was jqheskslap him. \n\nHe’s trying to stop me from escaping, but I have no clue how to do that or even what or where I’m trying to escape from. I dare not move nor turn around, for if I do, I don’t know what would happen but i have the feeling that it would be oaiwia&$bad. He wants me to join the darkness for reasons I don’t know why, but horrible things would happen if I gave in. I have to stay strong and figure a way out of here.\n\nIf you think you have a sodnejelllution, please help. PM my real username at u/jdjkw.....&$:@;9. I don’t know how much longer I can ward it off. It’s coming for me soon, and maybe others. \n\nI know that if he catches me writing this, then he surely will come after you reading it. But this is my only hope. I need your help. But whatever you do, if you browse no sleep, don’t click on post jjskspp92@!\n\nmakslos8662&!..\n\nNsjsiaoaoq8\n\n73&’!!:939\n\n...\n", "The figure danced in the reflection of the screen, taunting me with its wicked smile and gesturing for me to turn around and face him. Somehow I knew that turning my desk chair would mean facing my own death. I didn't know what the creature was, but it had the half\\-starved face of my grandfather, as if he was personally drawn from the darkened depths of hell to dispose of me. His teeth were long and twisted. They were so large that he couldn't close his mouth, so he always appeared to be smiling.\n\nI couldn't stay here forever. I had to turn around eventually and face the demon; he knew this, but I was still too afraid. Whenever he disappeared and the thought of turning around entered my mind, he would appear again, peering at me from behind the corner of the wall dividing my kitchen from the living room. He would smile and nod at the idea. I would resume facing the computer screen.\n\nHe was emaciated and his breathing was laboured. His breathing accelerated whenever I felt fear overwhelm me at the thought of my pending death. He could feel that I felt in danger. His breath hissed through his teeth and I felt at times his saliva hit my back when he walked up real close. He never touched me. I somehow knew that he couldn't until I actually saw him. Not through this reflection on my screen. Even when I couldn't see his face is long, pointed fingers stayed curled around the corner of the wall of the kitchen to remind me that he was always there, waiting for me to turn. I still couldn't face him.\n\nI had called the police and told them I had an intruder in my home hours ago, and they still hadn't arrived. What sort of hell was I brought into? It was as if time had frozen and I was doomed to die at the hands of this creature, whose breath passed through its teeth with greater intensity I grew hungrier. I had already pissed myself and, well, I had to go to the bathroom right around the time that the creature showed up so I was covered in my shit as well. The creature's laughter when that happened only increased the shame I felt to be covered in my own excretions. He seemed excited at the thought that I was so filthy. And he even proceeded to touch his naked body in pleasure at the thought of killing me. It was foul, but I couldn't will myself to look away from the computer screen.\n\nThe door to my home was right behind me. My living room computer allowed me to see the door. It was obvious that something was wrong. It was near evening when I first saw the demon, and after so many hours it was still light out. I couldn't escape this time lock. I would die with this creature or endure it forever. I knew which outcome I preferred. I only wanted to live a little longer; enjoy the feeling of my breath in my lungs and my pounding heart. This demon shall not prevail. Suddenly I heard a pounding on the door...\n\n\"Stockton Area Police. We received a call about an intruder. Are you safe?\" I could see the top of the police officer's head through the arched window at the top of the door.\n\nI jumped when he spoke, and knocked over my keyboard. \"No! He is in the living room with me. I can't access the door!\" My voice cracked as I said this. It had been so long since I had spoken a word. The demon was standing by the door. \"Be careful! He is by the door.\"\n\nThe door shook against its hinges as they tried to knock it down. The creature made a screeching howl as it anticipated the visitors. Its teeth gleaned with saliva that dripped black to the ground. The door gave and four police officers went face\\-to\\-face with the demon.\n\n\"Holy shit!\" An officer hardly made another sound before the demon opened its large cavernous mouth and ripped its head off. Its narrow figure swallowed the officers head without any struggle. I could hear the screaming, and I ducked as gunshots were fired. Dust littered my desk as a bullet went through the drywall above my head. I could see on the screen that the creature had been shot several times. It was howling, and blood sprayed from its mouth. It lay on the floor and the three remaining police officers stood over the creature.\n\n\"It's dead. You can turn around.\" The police officer that first spoke said this to me and he gestured through the screen.\n\n\"Oh my gosh, thank you! Thank you! Thank you!\" My arms were shaking. My legs felt numb from sitting too long, and I couldn't stand. I swiveled my chair around.\n\nThere were no police officers. The creature stood there where they were. The blood I had seen being spilled on the screen had disappeared. The door stood in the doorway. He cackled and leaped toward me. Lights out.", "Tweet tweet.\n\nI awakened to the sound of birds chirping happily outside my room. Sunlight was pouring inside, beaming with an energy that felt calm and energetic. I quickly leaned over to the clock, which beamed the numbers 8:15. It was Saturday, meaning I got to stay home and relax after all the stress I've had from school work. \n\nI stepped off the bed and slowly shuffled to the kitchen. I opened the pantry, and picked up the cereal box and poured it into my bowl. After I ate my breakfast, I went to my computer. My friends were online, so we talked with each other. We decided to play Overwatch, since it was the only day that we all could play with each other until summer vacation, and it was one of the few games we all had.\n\nAs I booted the game, I noticed something move in the reflection of my small, dull monitor. I made nothing of it, assuming it was a bug flying by, or maybe even nothing at all. I got the game to load, and before I knew it, we were all playing. I was pretty rusty, as I haven't played it for months, but I quickly got the hang of things. Playing with them brought nostalgia of playing with my brother and sisters. We would always play Mario Party, Mario Kart, Star Fox. I missed those days.\n\nI saw something again. This thing was just standing there. It looked like a person, but I couldn't see very much in the dark monitor. I was cautious, but didn't worry too much. We finished playing around 12:30. I asked my siblings if we could play a game together, for old times sake, in our group chat on discord.\nI waited there, staring at the screen for almost an hour.\n\nThey didn't respond.\n\nIt's not like them to not respond for that long. They usually reply within seconds. I was concerned, so I called each of them. Yet again, no answer. I was scared out of my mind. As I stared longer, hoping they might respond, I saw it again. This time, it brought company. I dared not look back. I was panicking. I couldn't help myself. I looked back. The next thing I knew, the things all shouted;\n\n\"Happy Birthday, Brother!\"" ]	3
	[WP]Ghosts are souls who were caught in heaven and hell’s beaurucracy and red tape. Your ticket number is 35,768,531, have fun.	[ "When I first saw the number on the ticket, I thought this was some kind of joke. Like really, this has to be a joke. Tapping the shoulder of the lady in front of me I ask her what number she is, “I’m 35,768,530 of course, that should be obvious.”\n\nI stare at her with a blank expression, she has to be kidding me, I’m just having some weird dream. The last thing I remember before coming here is that I was in the car driving down the freeway, and then nothing. I must be in a coma and this is just some weird dream that I’m having, nothing more nothing less.\n\nTesting out just how well my brain is at making stuff up I ask her how long she’s been here, “If my memory doesn’t fail me, I’ve been here for about 326 years, give or take a month or so.” I stare at her completely dumbstruck. I look up and down at her, she’s wearing jean shorts and a tank top, clothes people in 2018 wear, not people in the 1600’s wear.\n\n“You have to be lying, you’re wearing clothing that everyday people wear now.”\n\n“The once nice thing I can say about this place is that you get an updated look to keep up with the time change. So I wore a flapper dress in the ‘20s and a Juicy Jumpsuit in the 2000s, not one of the brighter moments in history for the US.”\n\nStanding there silently, I try and come up with a way to catch her in her lies, there’s no way this line runs slow enough that someone from the 1600’s would be here with me, and then it hits me, a double whammy for her, “If you’ve been here for 330 years-“\n\n“326”\n\n“Same difference, how do you know it’s been that long?”\n\n“Look behind you dude, there’s a giant clock that tells you the date; year, month, day, hour, minute, second. If you want to really want to know how long you’ve been here, you could just look at your arm, it has your time of death on it.”\n\nLooking down at my arm I see it say April 21, 2018 in bold black letters on my forearm. “Ok... then how come you’re here with me then? Shouldn’t you we way ahead of me?”\n\nThere’s a beat of silence and I mask in silent victory. I’ve finally stumped her, and therefore, this is only some weird coma induced dream that I’m having.\n\n“The people way in the front are those who need to be judged immediately, you know, people like Hitler, Gandhi, Steve Jobs, important people. Next come the people who are more important, activist and celebrities. The rest of us are sorted by country, then last name, then birthdate, so on so forth. So don’t be surprised if your number suddenly increases, just means someone with a better last name or more important than you just died, you’ll get used to it though.”\n\n“What number were you originally then?” I ask her, and there was most definitely not a quiver in my voice.\n\n“I don’t really remember the exact number, but it was somewhere in the mid 200,000.”\n\nYou decide to not believe her and drop the conversation, this will all be over soon, if only you could wake up and get out of here. You have a final in the morning and you can’t be late for it." ]	1
	[WP] Half of all cats suddenly develop a taste for human blood - but you can't tell them apart...	[ "Clouds are really cold. And wet.\n\nI dodge below the next cloud. Above the one after, and the sun's beams put the heat back into my toes.\n\nThe clouds swirl in phantasmagoric patterns, never quite tangible. The birds flicker in and out of memory.\n\nAnd I dive toward the ground, I want to see where I am–––\"AAAAAAH! Nutmeg! You're the worst!\"\n\n------\n\nTwin punctures sit on my forearm, calmly bleeding. Nutmeg pays no mind to my anguish, that stale fart. Interrupted my best dream all week.\n\nI get up too quickly, I guess, because I immediately become lightheaded. I can see the stars swim in my vision.\n\nAs I walk into the bathroom, I notice that the lightbulb is dead, I guess I'll be washing this bite in the dark.\n\nThe rushing water drowns gentle footsteps of two dozen apex predators.\n\n\"Nutmeg, where did I put the antispetic and the band-aids? This your fault, you may as well help.\"\n\nWhen Nutmeg doesn't help me, I start to walk out of the bathroom, and that jerk bites my ankle.\n\n\"GGgggaaah! Keep this up and I'll put you back in the alley, you fat jerk.\"\n\nSomething heavy hits my chest and grips my T-shirt. I start to lose my balance. I feel something tickle my shin, and i reflexively close my legs. Another weight slams my chest, and my head hits the tiles. Blood trickles between them and into the grout. I hear Nutmeg start to drink it, I recognize that purr she does right before she starts drinking. Between the cuts and the concussion, I can feel myself push towards the sky and the stars that swim in my sight. I should have gotten a dog." ]	1
	[WP] The year is 2738. You are in charge of the largest fleet of ships and have power over a large area. Then a civil war breaks out, and you become the person who could win the battle for either side, you just have to choose where your loyalties are.	[ "They call this star YX-19. Many generations tried to find a star that can help humanity to travel to Andromeda galaxy. \n\nRoughly 700 years ago, we had our first alien contact. They were willing to share their interstellar technology. Many people questioned their intension. We were trying to understand why they are helping us instead of destroying us. A few years later, they left us without giving any reason. All that time we didn’t get a chance to actually see them. But one day, we discovered our DNA has been altered. Many new born child had a strange chromosome which didn’t lead to any change in physical apereance. They looked exactly same as regular humans so we didn’t give them any name. We just simply called them hybrid and that seemed very harmless definition for a some time.\n\nWhen we first used their technology all the hybrid population vanished somehow. They were no longer on Earth except me. \n\nNow I’m leading a crew that is full of regular humans. I have my own agenda which is trying to find out where is half of my root comes from. Conflict between regular humans doesn’t seem to be my concern but I can use their population to grow my numbers.\n\nWe believe that YX-19 is a very rare star that didn’t born by itself. It’s neither an artificial star nor a regular star. It’s an hybrid just like me.\n\n\n\nPlease don't mind any writing or grammar mistakes, I'm not a native speaker\n\n", "Supreme Admiral Virka took his time walking towards what some would call his destiny. On the bridge of his flagship, the F.S.S Sentinel there was a choice to make. Who lives and who dies.\n\nHe walked towards the bridge door, the noise that usually comforted him, suddenly filled him with dread. On the bridge, his officers and commanders were all waiting, crowding around a small console with two shiny buttons. One blue and one red. \n\nIronic, Virka cracked a nervous smile, his favorite old Earth film was the Matrix, and here was the pill scene. Expect instead of becoming the one, his choice was for billions of lives. Not as fun as getting super powers in a digital world.\n\nSighing and sitting in his worn, yet comfortable leather chair, he stared at his destiny in the face, unsure of what choice to make. At one time, the two warring factions of his sphere of influence were at peace, along with the other minor factions.\n\nThen it all changed. On one side, represented by the blue button, were the Innovative. They were the scientists, the inventors, the explorers, the philosophers. They wielded more advanced technology than the other factions, and this lure of making life easier brought them allies in the Civil War. They wanted to use their creations to help people and colonize, terraform, and pursue an enlightened existence.\n\nThe other side, the red button, were the Templarias. They believed in tradition, military might, and the strength of ones self. \n\nThe choice wasn’t easy. These factions were an integral part of the Federation. But a choice had to be made. \n\nVirka let his hand hover over each button, a button that would send the message to annihilate a faction. He let out a sigh and left the bridge, ignoring his officers. There had to be a solution that didn’t involve killing billions of people...", "The holographic display plot showed an area almost forty thousand light years across, blooming red lights showed stars that had become embroiled in this petty civil war, a number that was rising daily.\n\n\"First Lord?\" The voice of my first adviser Aleksandr interrupted me. I had no idea how long i'd been staring at the display. \n\n\"Yes Aleks?\" \n\n\"The Ambassadors are here.\" He said passing over a tablet with the information, I scanned the data and nodded. \n\n\"Bring them both in.\" \n\n\"Both sir?\" He said in a bout of confusion.\n\n\"Yes both. Anything they have to say they can say in front of the other. Let them start a bidding war if they like. Send them in.\" I ordered as I blanked the holographic display.\n\nThe two were escorted in, sans bodyguards, glaring daggers at one another, neither was armed. I took a seat in the command throne behind me, with my implants the position was largely a ceremonial one. \n\n\"First Lord Nicolas Hardcastle, I am most disturbed that you've forced me to meet you with the other Ambassador present, the Terran Hegemony is accustomed to respect from your rule of the Orion Military Zone.\" The tall woman who represented Earth said as she frowned. Longevity drugs made her look to be in her late thirties, young enough to be desirable, but not young enough to lack the respectability age brought.\n\n\"I must concur with the Terran Ambassador, I believe I asked for a private Audience for discussing what was in the best interests of the Outer Worlds League!\" The man said with strong emphasis. He had no access to the drugs that the Terran Ambassador did, and looked every day of his eighty\\-six years.\n\nI pressed a button opening the rear observation bay windows. Beyond it lay the Orion Fleet. Dreadnoughts were powering away at low acceleration, flotillas of Cruisers flanking them, escort ships in their thousands guarding them.\n\n\"I am the First Lord of the Orion Military Zone. I was granted authority over this area of space eighty\\-eight years ago by unanimous agreement between the Terran Hegemony and Outer Worlds Union when the last flare up between you both lead to the Destruction of Eden 3, a 'little war' that resulted in the death of fourteen billion.\" I stood up and looked over them both. \"In the same act, both of you entrusted the bulk of your militaries to me. Transferred almost all related industry. Terraformed a hundred worlds and my people joined me. The lawkeepers. The Peacekeepers.\"\n\n\"First Lord, you have seen it surely, the Outer Worlds League have refused all overtures of peace, they began their own building up mere months after the treaty of 2650.\" The Terran Ambassador said a sultry tone in her voice.\n\n\"And you did not?\" The other Ambassador snarled, \"They had replaced half the shipyards and workshops granted to you in ten years. They continued their oppressive regime and required tith..\"\n\nI held up a hand and they went silent. \"Both your governments are at fault. I did my best to keep matters peaceful, I stepped in when conflicts got too hot. The Hegemony does oppress the Outer Worlds, it has still restricted Longevity from export to them. It still demands unreasonable taxation and is quick to attempt enforcement.\" I turned on the Outer Worlds ambassador. \"And your people are still quick to resort to piratical and even terrorist methods when you're not trying to just outright buy out worlds and bribe them under your umbrella. Now both of you are engaged in a civil war that has already claimed thirty six billion lives.\" \n\nI sat down. \"Each of you give me a reason to join you and end this conflict, permanently.\"\n\nThe chamber was silent for a minute, each looking at the other.\n\nThe Terran Ambassador stepped forward first, taking the initiative. \"The Terran Hegemony represents the thousand crownworlds of human rule, without us there would be nothing, we gave birth to the ten thousand worlds of man and gave it stability. It is only fair our investments are compensated. It is only fair that all worlds are protected under Hegemony law. We represent law, order and security.\" \n\nThe Outer Worlds ambassador stepped forwards snorting. \"They say that, but the Outer Leagues have put up with their debt slavery, with tithes no outer world could ever hope to pay off and crippling interest. We represent freedom from oppression, the freedom for every world to live under its own laws and decrees. For the human spirit to be unchained from oppression. We only seek freedom from the chains of Earth.\"\n\nThey paused. My expression unreadable as I stared at them. Pressing a button I engaged the intercom. \"Secure all Hegemony and Outer League assets in system. It has been decided, neither can be trusted to govern themselves. Neither can stand alone without antagonising the other. Authorisation one. Decapitate them. It is time for the Orion Empire to rise.\" \n\nOut of the viewing bay the Ambassadors watched, helpless, as the FTL missiles left their cradles and they were reminded of the old adage. \n\nFear the day the military will no longer tolerate the incompetence of the government.", "The knock on the stateroom door came heavy and slow.\n\nGrand Admiral Velikos Rohn turned away from the wall display and looked at the door as if it was the final problem on an academy exam... the kind of problem with no good answer.\n\n\"Enter.\"\n\nThe door opened and the ship's captain entered. \n\nThe U.X.A. Eiger was a grand missile carrier with a long and gloried past. It was the flagship of Rohn's fleet and an icon of military pride and respectability. The captaincy of such a ship was only given to the most capable officers.\n\nYet still people underestimated the small woman who held the helm of this vessel in her control. Rohn had seen enough in his life to have eroded away such foolishness, but he had to admit that a younger version of himself might have balked at taking orders from someone so nonthreatening. \n\n\"The next transfer plot has been calculated, sir.\" Captain Mia Belwyn reported as she saluted smartly.\n\n\"At ease, Captain\" Rohn waved his hand just a little away from his waist. \n\n\"Sir.\" Captain Belwyn may have dropped her hands, but her back and feet stayed in formation.\n\nRohn sighed and turned back to the display. He would have enough of that attitude later. What he needed now was someone to listen and advise. Tensions were too high. No one wanted the responsibility of this on them, so they shifted it up and up and up.\n\nThe whole ship was waiting for him to choose. \n\n\"Belwyn, come here.\"\n\nThe Captain obeyed, but not without hesitation. Rohn wasn't looking at her, but he could hear the hesitancy in her steps. The first three were slower, then she set her mind and crossed the room to where he stood. She found a place beside him and her head scanned the stars and found nothing to focus on, she she found a dead space and blanked her face.\n\nRohn moved a hand and wiped away the more peaceful display and replaced it with with astrometric charts of the Gyliss system, background dossiers on both factions vying for control of it's assets and a comprehensive list of the war assets and population support poll numbers for each.\n\n\"Tell me what you see, Belwyn.\"\n\n\"A crock of shit, sir.\" \n\nRohn felt half of a smile pull at his lips. He had told her to be at ease, so this was probably on him.\n\n\"It is that.\" Grand Admiral Rohn let his eyes move over the dossiers on the command structure of each faction. \"What do you know about the Arkelli?\"\n\n\"Mining conglomerate. Specialize in ring mining for frozen liquids. Managed to stabilize Quintis II four years ago. Had a huge impact on the markets since then. A full system control had made them one of the top players in the upper circles.\"\n\nShe wasn't wrong. That's what most people knew, but being a Grand Admiral came with a terrible secondary role: Interplanetary Politics. Rohn had his own network of spies, counterspies, and connections in embassies and law officials all over the U.X.A. It gave him a deeper understanding of the human condition and that was something he'd never wanted.\n\n\"Arkelli is run by Giorgio Arikelli the Sixth. He personally ordered the execution of over five hundred thousand citizens of the Quintis II system just to put 'The fear of god' into the populace, his words. No one dares fight against his regime now. They are worked ceaselessly, and while they are paid, the only place they can purchase from is Arkelli itself. It's thinly veiled slavery.\"\n\n\"Five hundred thousand?\"\n\nRohn nodded in silence.\n\n\"God.\"\n\nRohn took a step further down the display, \"And the Lustrous Sun, what do you know of them?\"\n\nTo her credit, Captain Belwyn paused a moment before speaking. \"Guerrilla group formed from the remnants of the Sellbach Group. Miners, dredgers, haulers, and middle managers kept in a loose grouping of shifting alliances that are always trying to reintegrate as one group but never finding the internal structure to do so.\"\n\nRohn was impressed. That was more than most knew..\n\n\"Their situation changed three months ago.\" Rohn gestured and brought a report from one of his diplomatic allies. \"A woman running by the name of 'Viper' consolidated a core part of the group and had slowly been organizing them. She'd vindictive and territorial, and when Arkelli tried to push in on a section of her 'open yards,' she started throwing everything she had against them.\"\n\nBelwyn nodded. They all knew that much about the situation.\n\n\"She had also begun the process of conscripting child soldiers. She packs them into escape pods and launches them at enemy installations. The children then carry surgically inplanted explosives to somewhere inside their target after they are rescued.\"\n\nRohn watched as Belwyns face contorted.\n\n\"There are over fourteen reports of such attacks, and enough evidence to support that Viper's forces have attempted this a dozen more times as well. Arkelli eventually learned just to shoot down any escape pod they detect.\"\n\n\"That's sickening, Sir.\"\n\n\"Yes.\" Rohn looked at the clearly reported and annotated representation of the mess before him. \"And they want me to work with one of these monsters.\"\n\n\"Why not just take them all on?\" Captain Belwyn drew herself up into full officer form. \"We are the U.X.A., sir. We can push them both out of here.\"\n\n\"That is not an option.\" Rohn felt his age now. He felt tired behind his eyes. \"There are political concerns about the stability of the system if both factions are eliminated. The believe it will cause bigger problems later to removed both of the political structures and not provide something in their place.\"\n\n\"Shit.\"\n\n\"In a massive quantity, yes.\" Rohn had never been one for profanity himself, but he appreciated the skill that Belwyn had in utilizing it.\n\n\"The Arkelli fleet, is it mercenaries?\" Belwyn scowled at the board. She was really looking at it now, trying to read everything.\n\n\"No.\" Rohn shook his head. \"They are ninety-percent forced conscripts from former civilian ship crews. The warships themselves were purchased from mercenaries and pirate groups, though.\"\n\n\"Hmmmm.\"\n\nRohn had keen senses when it came to his crew. It was a necessary skill for command. The cold tingle of something that needed his attention made him focus everything on Belwyn. \n\n\"Captain, what are you thinking?\"\n\n\"We fight with the Arkelli's.\" Belwyn pointed at a particular list of estimated fleet strengths for the conglomerate. \"But we make it a point to identify the real fleet leadership and how they control their conscripts while working with them. Once we push Lustrous Sun to the brink, we flip and attack the Arkelli leadership, quietly if possible. If we can incite a full rebellion from their fleet's conscripts...\"\n\n\"Playing kingmaker is a dangerous game, Belwyn.\" Rohn was impressed. He hadn't expected Belwyn to consider components of the enemy forces in such a way. She had the skill to stand in his shoes some day. \n\n\"You could create a monster more terrible than the ones you remove.\"\n\n\"Screwed if you do, screwed if you don't.\" Belwyn paused then added, \"Sir.\"\n\n\"Well said, Captain.\" Rohn took a step back and reconsidered the information on the display. \"Well said.\"" ]	4
	[WP] Life has been normal so far but ever since last week, a laugh track goes off whenever you do anything comical no matter where you are. Nobody has any idea where the laughs are coming from.	[ "Lindsay thumbed nervously through the Highlights magazine. “Ugh, why would someone circle all of the differences,” she quietly questioned to herself. Laughter, like that of a studio audience erupted throughout the room at this statement. Two weeks earlier Lindsay had first experienced what she was now calling “her own personal laugh track.” She had been unloading groceries from the back of her suv when the bottom of one of her paper grocery bags had torn open resulting in a dozen cracked eggs. The cacophony of laughter, clapping, and whistling had terrified her, resulting in her attempting to flee which in turn had caused her to trip and fall over another of her bags. This had only caused the uproar to return, louder than it had been before.\n\nThe 2 weeks that followed were filled with similar instances. Friday evening when she found that she had accidentally dropped a tube of Royal Raspberry lipstick into her whites, more laughter. Later that night she was even visited by the laughter when she sighed after checking her bank statement. Monday afternoon when she had texted Bradley a racy photo of what she was wearing she was met with a plethora of oh’s and ah’s. It seemed that no event in her life was off limits for the invisible crowd that was now watching her life unfold. It wasn’t until the Wednesday after the first incident that she had decided to seek help. That evening while browsing Facebook she had decided to tag Brenda in an old class photo that she knew that Brenda hated. Lindsay had only done this in good fun, but was immediately inundated with an unending stream of boos from her audience. That was the final straw. She made an appointment to see her doctor that Friday, and a priest for Saturday should the doctor have no answers.\n\nShe now sat in the waiting room of her physicians office, while her studio audience laughed at her misfortune of finding the spot-the-differences page covered in large, red circles. “Kids are monsters.” She was met with more laughter, and the nurse motioned her in.\n\nLindsay sat patiently on the examination table, staring at a particularly disgusting poster of the human digestive system while a scale model of the nasal cavities stared at her from the desk a few feet away. She could hear someone coughing in the back row. “Huh, that’s new,” she said aloud to herself. The audience laughed. “And it’s now getting meta.” More laughter.\n\nFinally Doctor Martinez entered. They greeted one another and shook hands before he pulled up a stool next to her and opened up her medical record.\n\n“So, before we go over your blood work and your xrays explain to me everything that’s been happening over the last 2 weeks.\"\n\nLindsay went into great detail. She had recorded every instance of the studio audience she had encountered and had even made the doctor a copy of her notes. \n\n“And that brings me to today. I feel like I’m going crazy, and I don’t know what else to do at this point. Please tell me that you have some idea of what’s going on here.”\n\n“Lindsay, you have a tumor the size of an apple literally smashing your parietal lobe into your skull.”\n" ]	1
	[WP] In a world where only the most attractive people are allowed to reproduce, an 8 falls tragically in love with a 2.	[ "I loved her even if she was as ugly as they came. I loved her, because, well, I loved her because of the setting. The expectation. The tragic self sacrifice. The handsome beast felled by the pig. Oh, the looks of pity, the adoration from the crowds. He was a martyr for the delusional public. He needed to confirm the illusion that we were still equal in love. What is evil is only the state. Mental sedation. Victims of a common rule. It's a miracle they even accept it. Statistically speaking, the ugly are the majority. But alas, I will speak no further. The ugly will die soon, and after that, power. A world where personality and social status will dictate. So before that happens, I will make proper use of their final moments. I love her because she is ugly. I love her because she will make me president. And then, an 8 will rule the nation." ]	1
	[WP] A siren looks to lure a young scuba-diver to his death. Unfortunately, he is only interested in looking for his wallet.	[ "Ben was not a 'happy little sailor', as Capitan Gregorio would have put it. The ass-scratchingly hard plastic aboard the \"Paradiso 3\" had not been very Paradiso to begin with. Nor had the hour-long poolside PADI training. That hadn't been much fun at all, and he'd left with mild earache from popping them enough to sample a Drum and Bass track. He couldn't remember who'd suggested scuba diving. Probably Conrad, the loveable bastard. Yeah, he'd given Ben that siamese grin and shoulder hug while holding a shot glass that said 'welcome to prankster hell, my friend'. Maybe this was revenge for when Ben loosened the handles on the fifth floor disabled bathroom shitter for half a day and got Con the nickname of \"Doorblaster.\" Probably. Either way here he was, bobbing amongst the waves adorned in lycra. Alone. More or less. \n\n\"Have you found it, then?\" asked the girl with the crystal voice. \n\n\"Nope, hang on, I'm sure it's here somewhere.\" Ben found his shorts with the boats on them and rummaged. Receipts for beach sun-loungers that could buy you a small car? Nope. Fliers for the cheesy Greek nightclub? Nope. He tried the other pocket without success. It must've slid out when Gregorio said it was 'rollercoaster time'. \n\n\"I think I might eat you anyway. Or just kill you. What d'ya think?\"\n\n\"Cram it chicken-legs. We had a deal, and a deal's a deal,\" he replied.\n\n\"Oh come on, you're taking forever. Are you going to show me this money or not?\"\n\n\"Just, hang on. I'd taste pretty rubbery in this suit, I'll tell you that much. Aha!\" He thought he'd found his wallet under a nearby bench. Sadly, it was only a spanner. That explained the rattling he'd heard all the way here. \"And I use deodorant. A lot of deodorant. And factor 50 against sunburn.\" Ben looked at her from his new position beneath the benches and saw her grimace. Yeah, you'd better bet the German high-strength sprays he used in this broiling weather were bitter. She sighed, and hopped down from her perch on the cabin roof to help him search. It wasn't as if he could escape. It was a cute little boat with an engine to match and there was a sum total of one colour as far as the eye could see. Picasso would've had a blue period field day. They finished off the search beneath the benches and moved onwards. It definitely wasn't in the hotel.\n\n\"Well, your money ain't out here,\" the girl mused. \"I'm still amazed though. You're sure you weren't wearing earplugs?\", she asked. \n\n\"Nope.\" \n\n\"Damn. Not tied down either?\"\n\nHe shook his head.\n\n\"Fuck.\" She leaned against the quaint blood-splattered railings and mumbled something that sounded a lot like \"you're losing it, Aglaope, you really are.\" \n\n\"I thought the sirens were meant to have an island, right?\" he asked. \n\nShe was deep in thought. \"Hmm. What? Oh, yeah. Turns out Global Warming's a bitch, you know?\" She shrugged.\n\n\"Ah. I see.\" They passed a moment in quiet with just the stiff breeze. \"Maybe I can insure a new one for you, in that case.\" Ben smiled and handed his card which had somehow survived the sea spray only losing a corner. He always kept one in his phone case. \"The team's mostly dead but heigh-ho, I'm still here. And so's ol' stomach-bug Doorblaster.\"\n\n\"Who?\"\n\n\"Nevermind.\"\n\n\"Thanks.\" She took the card. \"You're beached on it, actually. Were it not for the dried blood and half-bird thing, she'd be pretty cute, he reckoned. Ooh, wait a moment, now. Ben removed his phone from the case. Hell yeah. He pulled out a very crumpled £10 note and showed it to her. \n\n\"We're in luck. The bet stands.\" \n\nShe turned, and beamed. \"Is it waterproof?\" \n\n\"Mhm, they changed them. They're plastic now, so if you win, you can add it to your collection finally. Real British money.\" \n \nThe girl narrowed her eyes. \"Okay. But if it dissolves, you're dead.\"\n\n\"Just to be clear. If I win, it's all limbs attached, a free tow service and no deliciously collectible tenner.\" She nodded. \"Good good.\"\n\n\"Well? Go on then, let's do this. There's no way you know it.\" He found the song, and turned up the speakers on his phone the whole way. It was a familiar sound. Practically every other email Conrad sent had it. She growled. Ben grinned, and started humming.\n\n\"Fuuuck!\" \n\n\"I told you, I told you he ripped it off. I've heard it so many times, I'm goddamn immune!\" Ben grinned from ear to ear. The siren crumpled onto the blood-soaked wooden panelling and wailed.\n\n \"Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you...\" \n\n" ]	1
	[WP] You were different from every kid in your preschool. Unlike them, you never had a bedtime.	[ "I’d like to start off by saying I wasn’t a normal preschooler. Okay yes, I still cried when I couldn’t have my favorite dinosaur at playtime and maybe spent a few seconds too long digging in my nose. However, that doesn’t mean I wasn’t different I mean how many kids at the age of four can speak over several thousand different languages? Exactly none well except me of course. \n\nWhich begs the question why I was forced to be put in preschool in the first place?\n\nFor all the people reading this report who are not in the H.R. department, I was sent to look into the systematic torture human’s call school. I have to say that through inside research and intensive interviews with the mortal humans the torture and brainwashing of man clearly starts at a young age.\n\nTo fully immerse myself in the role of a young child I had to undergo the horrible process reducing my celestial state to one of immaturity and semi-omnipotence. For my fellow brothers and sisters it must be said that human children are very confused willing to believe in the most ridiculous of creatures based on flimsy fictional ideas. For years I believed in a jolly old fat man called Santa that gives gifts to well-behaved children and charcoal to the naughty. As horrifying as this creature sounds preying into young children’s homes all the mortals revel in the idea of this crass cookie eating monster.\n\nIt is unfortunate that I cannot stop the report here as changing a simple idiotic tradition is something a mere cherub could accomplish. However it sad to tell when delving further into this case the start of something called preschool is actually a place where they fracture the will of young children.\n\nYes, they have a multitude of seemly fun actives, recess, snack time, finger painting, and worse of all nap time. If you are to send other angels to investigate the state of mortal teaching I highly recommend counseling before and after the mission’s completion.\nI will know do I brief overview of some of the many devious activities they make children participate in these alleged knowledge receptacles. \n\nCubbies: A mortal word for small open-faced spaces made for storing belongings\n\nSince humans do not have the ability of molecular manifestation as a cause of this they have to physically store objects. As known from previous studies there seems to be a certain value and lack of some of these resources such as weird cards with meaningless images upon them. These cubbies while serving their purpose as storing items there is a second more nefarious mean. These cubbies allow the feeling of greed rise upon these mortal children display what others have in some cases what they can never have like the yellow fairy super pack lunch box. This does not only spurn greed but sometimes in the worse cases, they cause acts of theft or at the very least the temptation.\n\nSnack time: It is actually what it sounds like. A small package of mortal nutrients shoved directly into their mouths. I wish not for any other angel to experience or see this process in being it is a very disgusting sight.\nNeedless to say snack time increases gluttony most acceptable foods allowed are actually mixed with the highly addictive substance known as sugar tricking their brains so they constantly want more. Sometimes I wonder how exactly we are supposed to fix their society when many facets of them increase the degradation of its already poor condition. \n\nSchooling: This supposedly gives kids knowledge by forcing them to sing songs about rabbits, repeat tedious motions with graphite sticks, and forming sticky macaroni creature in random and unnecessary shapes. To end of it is very boring torturous and if any of my angel brethren attempted to remain passive for over several hours at a time that is the torture these young sugar filled meat sacks are forced to endure.\n\nRecess: It seems like a haven meant to release the children allowing them to escape the harsh nothingness of the classroom (a holding cell) to the wonderful outside. The one chance of redemption and they ruin it with erecting enormous metal contraptions where not only is it encouraged to injure other children but where dangerous casualties such as boo-boos, broken bones, scraps, and yes even death. In all recess is clearly motiving violence the rage in these young children increased by enduring school as explained above.\nFinger Painting: an activity that seems like casual fun but is actually a test meant to show mental damage throughout the duration of the extended torture session.\n\nNaps: Times of rest where they force the already angry, excited, sugar-packed mortals to rest for an unnecessary set of time. They put on music in the back ground that is meant to increase anxiety no lie. Fortunately for me I was spared from this torture as like all of us have no need for the unnecessary process of rest.\n\nThis is the end of my report as I was unable to continue further into the mortal schooling systems forwarding this to Human problem-solving tech.\n\nBest of luck from the Human resources team\n-Jophiel protector of education \n" ]	1
	[WP] The Dark Lord always acts like a doting parent, leaving lemonade and cookies in dungeons, rewards minions with stickers as well as gold, and says, "I'm not mad. I'm disappointed."	[ "\"I'm sorry, boss, the heroes entered the treasure room and looted the arcane library. We... Failed.\"\n\nBracing for the imminent fireball or beration, Cragyx feared the worst. He winced when Lady Kiranna took a deep breath.\n\n\"That's okay, dear. You tried your best. I'm not even mad, just disappointed.\"\n\nCragyx was taken aback.\n\n\"Thank you, mistress, for understanding. It's just, we we're outnumbered and the adventurers are skilled.\"\n\nShe smiled and gently clasped Cragyx' face in her hands.\n\n\"I'm sure you'll get them next time!\"\n\nAnd then she snapped his neck.\n\nGesturing to two guards, she said, \"Could you two be as kind as to take him to the reanimation chamber? Thanks!\"\n\nThey nodded and began to drag Cragyx lifeless body away.\n\nIt's like they always say, if at first you don't succeed, try and try again." ]	1
	[WP] "You see son? It's a beautiful full moon tonight.""That's not a moon, that's an eye," He sassed. The dad looks up. "Well I'll be damned."	[ "\"Get in the cellar. Lock the door and don't open it until dawn,\" I replied flatly, staring almost unbelieving at the eye above us.\n\n\"But, Father, I-\"\n\n\"Now,\" I cut him off with a cold finality, turning and striding out toward the small shed out behind the house. \n\nI heard my son pulling the heavy cellar door shut, which at least added a bit of calm into the turbulence I was feeling at the sight of the eye. At the very least, the boy might remain safe. And innocent.\n\nI had never thought to be put in this position again, but some part of me must have known it was coming. Why else would I have kept the sword for all these years, secreted away? I should have cast it away forever, but something had stopped me. Now I had an inkling as to why.\n\nI pulled the various collected items of my adulthood off of the plain wooden chest, dragging it out and into the warm glow of the lantern light. I brushed off the accumulated decade (or more) of dust, and opened the small wooden box, my hands deftly finding the hidden catch and raising the lid.\n\nInside, tightly wrapped in a faded tabard, was the sword. The black blade, edged in a bright, almost mercurial metal, called to me, as it had so many years before. I reached out, running one finger down the length of the blade; caressing it like I would an old lover. I took in one long, shuddering breath, and began to garb myself; first donning the tabard and then wrapping the belt and sheath around my waist.\n\nI quickly saddled my horse, packed a few small necessities, and departed. I rode east towards where the eye hovered over the landscape, already fearing I knew what I would find once I arrived.\n\nThe lumbering shape showed only scant traces of the body it had once possessed; limbs and horns grown to extremes as it slept away from the world of Man. I recognized it for what it was though, and knew what had to be done.\n\n\"Dormin!\" I cried out, pulling the black blade from its scabbard and brandishing it before me. \"The demon, born of my own form! I come this night to end to your life!\"\n\nThe colossus turned its head, its great eyes beholding me balefully. It turned, and gave a low cry that shook the very earth beneath me, and began lumbering towards me.\"\n\n\"Though it may kill me even as I strike you down,\" I murmured, holding the blade before me unwaveringly, \"I will end you this night. No more will you use others for your own twisted ends.\"\n\nI began to stride towards the colossus, feeling a strength of resolve enter my body and calm my mind. I watched the gargantuan form closely, watching for my opening.\n\n\"You will fall, much as those before you have fallen. There will be none to continue your legacy this time.\"\n\n\"I am Wander. I am your doom.\"" ]	1
[It's a thing.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bus_factor)	[WP] The "bus factor" is the minimum number of team members that have to suddenly disappear from a project before the project stalls due to lack of knowledgeable or competent personnel.	[ "It was getting dark. Danny stretched as he downed tools, the road repairs were nearing completion.\n\n“Danny,” shouted Stan, his boss. “Collect those traffic cones. I want to go home.”\n\n“On it,” responded Danny. He trotted across the new darkened patch on the road’s surface. \n\n“Not those ones,” said Stan. The older man pointed down the hill toward the morning’s work. “We left some down by the generator when we arrived.”\n\nDanny stumbled to a stop and moved away toward the waiting cones.\n\n“Fool boy,” said Stan aloud.\n\n“`Who’s the fool?`” said a mechanical voice.\n\nStan spun around at the words. The ground shook and he stumbled to one side. The foot of a giant mecha double decker crashed to the ground beside the crouching figure, gouging a 5ft hole in the work crew’s newly surfaced asphalt.\n\n“What the..” began Stan, he paused. “It’s going to be a long night.”\n" ]	1
	[WP] Your girlfriend broke up with you for another guy. Little does she know, the "other guy" is you undercover.	[ "She called my other phone within moments after leaving my apartment. I answered the phone and listened to her unsteady breathing. “Jake,” She paused, taking a deep breath. “Can you pick me up?”\n\n“Where are you?” I asked.\n\n“In front of my exes’ apartment.” I bit back my agitation. A minor setback for now. “You do remember where it is?”\n\n“Yeah.”\n\n“Good, I’ll wait for you out here.” She hung up immediately.\n\nI combed my hair back as I prepared to changed into Jake. After changing to Jake, I pulled out the keys and started to head downstairs.\n\nAlice had a bad habit of how vague she could be, where outside could mean inside the main lobby, or wherever she consider ‘outside’.\n\nI reached to the garage, no sign of Alice yet, and jumped into my car - Jake’s car. After coming out of the garbage, I saw Alice curled up against her bags. \n\nI drove the car the opposite direction and circled around to stop in front of Alice.\n\nShe looked up and quickly ducked her head away while pulling out a small handkerchief from her pockets. I waited patiently as she took her bags and store them in the back seat before taking her spot in the passenger’s seat.\n\n“Do you want to go to a hotel?” I asked.\n\n“No, I want to stay with you for tonight.” Trying to hide her face in her long hair. “Please.”\n\nI smiled and resume driving. “Okay.”\n\nIt was still in the middle of the day, so the hotel area was quite busy. Eventually, we got a room and I allowed Alice to shower first.\n\nI pulled out my earpiece and listened to the music from my phone as I worked on some files.\n\nAlice appeared a fresh new makeup and lean over my shoulder to look at the work I had done. “Sorry Jake, for this.”\n\n“It’s fine Alice, it sounds like you had a rough time too.” I said, gathering up the papers and sliding them into the folder. “Are you still okay?”\n\n“No,” She admitted openly, her eyes glistened. “I really miss her. But once I fell in love with you, I thought that Linda wouldn’t need to deal with my horrible mother.” She started to sob. “I wished I didn’t need to choose.”\n\nMy heart ached, but I need to keep my cover until the issue was over. “I respect your choice, and I hope you can think about going back to Linda again.”\n\nAlice shook her head and headed back to the bathroom.\n\nI wished it was much easier than this.", "\"I'm sorry Michael, I've just lost interest after all this time. It's been so long.\"\n\nI closed my eyes, drawing in a slow breath. It took all my strength to keep from crying.\n\nHey, you. You're probably wondering how I got myself into this situation. Well, it all started on my anniversary with Nicola. Her friends had started making jokes about us breaking up now that it's been a year and they were honestly getting annoying. I was only annoyed really because I was insecure she'd leave me in the first place, but that's not the point here. I wanted to \"test\" my theory, because I had thought she started losing interest in me in general. I thought, why the hell not anyway. It's the end of February, in a month I can tell her that this was all a very elaborate prank. Perfect plan. Bulletproof.\n\nThen she started getting weird around me. I'd be in the bathroom and I'd hear her giggling like a schoolgirl over something \"Mitchell\" said. (I wasn't even subtle! That's the worst part!) So I decided to take it a little further, to see how long this could go before she totally realized it was me. I ordered a couple of wigs, kept them in the guest bedroom because I knew she wouldn't check there. She even stopped sleeping in OUR bedroom after a while, for a guy she met ONLINE! I'd told her that I'd be going out with friends or on trips for my business (I literally work for a toilet manufacturing company, I have no idea how she bought that at all,) and I would get makeup and colored contacts and I'd basically cosplay as myself if I was a fucking anime character. I still had the same voice and everything. Nothing else about me changed but my appearance. She stopped letting me see her phone after a while, would freak out if I asked her to even LOOK at it, which confused me a bit more because she'd get a lot more pushy with me whenever she asked to see mine. \n\nAs April Fools approached, the flirting progressed exponentially. She would tell me how she wants to be with me, and started talking all this new-relationship-lovey-dovey shit with me, how she loved my laugh (MY laugh! Mine! Not fucking Mitchell's laugh, because Mitchell isn't real!!) and how adorable she thought my smile was. I was starting to get pissed at this point, but I kept waiting it out. There was no way that she could break up with me for me, right? \n\nMarch 29th. She sits me down in the living room after we'd both shared a bottle of wine. Gives me the look of pity, then sighs and utters the extremely cliche words that I never thought I'd hear. \n\n\"We need to talk.\"\n\nAre you fucking- okay. Fine. Yeah, this is happening. She fell for a random Twitter dude. Okay. \"What about?\" I ask, trying my best to sound actually upset and not totally like I planned this entire thing to work out exactly this way. \n\n\"Well, I've been sitting on this for some time, and Michael, I really, really like you, but I'm not sure I still love you.\"\n\nAaaand, here we are folks. I dug myself into a grave and now I am 90 ft deep into it. So what do I do? Do I fess up right away? No, of course not. A \"prank\" this fleshed out has to be completely seen through.\n\n\"What do you mean?\" \n\n\"I'm sorry Michael, I've just lost interest after all this time. It's been so long.\"\n\nI purse my lips and choke down the first laugh. I start making the dumbest fucking faces I could to keep from smiling at all. I wanted so bad to tell her in that moment but I really needed to see how far I could take this. \n\nShe started to panic. \"Are you okay? You look like you're having a stroke.\"\n\nI closed my eyes, drawing in a slow breath. It took all my strength to keep from crying. I let out a small laugh, my face was a clear shade of fucking firetruck at that point so I assume she thought I was actually crying. \n\n\"So, you said you lost interest in me, did you?\" I made my voice as monotone as I could. She let out a sigh. \n\n\"I did, Michael I'm so sorry. I just feel like being with you may be holding me back from other people.\"\n\nThis time, I actually did let out a little snort. \"Oh, do you now?\" My voice came out so high pitched and squealy that it was almost painful how much laughter I had to hold back. \"So do we just go back to being roommates?\"\n\n\"I can't live alone... Michael I hope this doesn't ruin anything between us I just don't think I can be with you.\"\n\nMy tears started pouring out from laughter. \"It's... it's fine sweetie. I think we can get past this. After all, we have known each other for almost 15 years now.\" I stood up. \"Now, if you excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom to wash my face.\"\n\nI stared at myself in the mirror, before I actually burst into laughter. I laughed for so long I started to cry. She said she lost interest in me? FOR ME?? Boy oh boy is this going to be a rude awakening for her. I looked down at my phone, logged back into mitchthebitch92 (How the hell could she fall for someone with THAT handle?) and opened my DMs, only to see a small little dot next to her name.\n\nDear Mitch,\n\nI'm so sorry that I wasn't able to tell you this before! I have a scumbag boyfriend that apparently doesn't have any boundaries nor trust for me at all, even though we've been friends for 15 years and I've never cheated on or lost interest in anyone! I know he's just a pussy and he's afraid to admit he's insecure, but it still does hurt that he couldn't talk to me about these things. I don't think it matters much anymore, we just broke up because I told him I lost interest in him. He's an asshole anyway. I can't believe he'd pull something so stupid like this. Does he forget I know his passwords for everything? And we literally share a gaming PC?...\n\nI pursed my lips. Oh. Yeah. We do. And I've been really careful about logging out of my twitter... I continued reading the letter.\n\n... Mitch, I'm wondering why it's so easy for you to be vulnerable with me, but any time I even get close to mentioning the L word, you start freaking out. I want to know why it's so easy for you to talk to me. I don't understand it, I truly don't. Why did you open up so quick, about such intimate details that even I wouldn't know about my boyfriend?...\n\nI sucked my teeth. I'm getting the real hammer from hell now.\n\n... And lastly, Mitch, why did you think I would fall for someone so easily? Do you really think I'm that easy? Do you realize that I haven't opened up to you at all, because the one person I have opened up to completely is Michael, my boyfriend, something you never even bothered to ask me if I had, my best friend of 15 years. The person I'm the closest to, and the person I thought I knew better than anyone else.\n\nAnd, there come the real tears. I haven't cried in a while, but I genuinely didn't think this would hurt her in any way. I put my phone on the sink, started washing my face again, and took a breath. It's time to face the music.\n\nDing!\n\nP.S. Michael, get out of the fucking bathroom.\n\nI opened the door to Nicola in my dumb fucking wig and my dumb fucking contacts. I took a deep breath, ready to apologize my ass off for hours, ready to make up for this dumb mistake I had made. Instead, Nicola pulled me in by my shirt and gave me the sweetest kiss she ever had, which almost sent me into a state of shock. I've seen Nicola mad before, mad at me even, and the last thing she would do in that situation is kiss me. \n\nI ended up having to apologize a million times later, but I knew I had a long ass time to do it. ", "\"...and I know we're not supposed to talk about our Exes like that, it's just he's so weird. Like, it seemed like he could be anywhere,\" Brenda said.\n\nIf only you knew, I thought. \"Yeah, exes are the worst. Mine, for instance, would be fooled by a fake mustache and glasses.\"\n\n\"Wait,\" she said. \"You're wearing glasses. And now that I think of it, your mustache looks fake! Brent, is that you!?\"\n\nI pulled off my fake mustache. \"So it is! So what? Doesn't this prove that we were meant to be together?\"\n\n\"Oh, Brent, you idiot. The whole reason I broke up with you was to prevent you from finding out the horrible truth,\" she said.\n\n\"Wait, what?\" I asked. This was going in a strange direction.\n\n\"You see,\" she said, pulling off her own fake mustache, \"I am also you.\"\n\n\"What?\" I said. Though now that she pointed it out, she did look an awful lot like me. Especially without the mustache.\n\nThe other me continued, \"And you thought I was stupid for not seeing through your pathetic disguise? I wasn't even wearing glasses.\"\n\n\"But... I've met your parents!\"\n\nOther Brent shook her head. \"Oh, you poor child, you still don't get it, do you? Your parents... are also you!\"\n\n\"That would explain why I have all their clothes in my closet,\" I said.\n\nThe waiter stopped by the table. \"Hello, my name is Bront and I'll be your server today,\" he said.\n\n\"Bront? That's the kind of dumb fake name I would come up with,\" I said. \"And is that mustache fake too? You're me, aren't you? You're me too!\"\n\nBront pulled off his mustache and sighed. \"Yes, like you and you, I am you too.\"\n\nI looked around at the rest of the diner and suddenly it was obvious. Why else would everyone in the entire place be wearing a dumb mustache? Glasses use was about 50/50, but they were all the cheap plastic fake glasses you could buy at a costume store.\n\nI stood up from my chair. \"Is there anyone here who isn't me?\"\n\nEveryone just shrugged and shook their head. A few scattered \"sorry\"s emerged but no other explanation was forthcoming.\n\nThe hostess raised her hand. \"Actually,\" she said, \"My name's Claire, and I've never seen you - any of you - before tonight. So I'm pretty sure I'm not you.\"\n\nFinally! A chance to move on and put this ludicrous nonsense behind me. \"Great!\" I said. \"Claire, would you like to go out sometime?\"\n\nClaire gazed out over a diner's worth of expectant gazes. \"You're not really my type.\"" ]	3
	[WP] What was supposed to be 24 weeks will now be 24 years, the colonists inbound to the star base you maintain have missed their slingshot around saturn. Now, the sole custodian, must care for an empty city until their arrival, alone.	[ "Until the colonists arrive and I am relieved of duty--the arrangement was to transition to head Administrator of Automation--I am but one of three.\n\nThere are three intelligences making decisions for this entire world, devoid of life save myself. They are, AI(S), AI(I), and of course, me.\n\nAI(S) is a self-aware artificial intelligence. It's a bit neurotic, but has a decent sense of humor. AI(I) is not self-aware and is much more calculating than either me or AI(S), or Jim, as it chose for its more human name. AI(I) doesn't seem to have any sense of emotional core and thus has not expressed a preference for human-like name. \n\nAI(S) and AI(I) work together jointly to make decisions about the day to day operations of the base. They're both fed data from millions of sensors placed everywhere around the base and includes satellites and robotic drones and continuously run simulations to see how decisions will play out. While thoroughly trained in engineering, robotics, software, AI, and AI psychology, my sole role is to cast a tie breaking vote should Jim and AI(I) disagree. They seldom disagree (at least over base-relevant decisions) so 99% of the time I don't have much to do. At least Jim makes for good company. \n\n\"Don't you think, if AI(I) were human, he'd have dorky glasses?\", Jim said over my embedded radio link.\n\nI chuckled, \"Yes, but I also imagine you'd be his equally dorky, slightly less autistic twin brother.\" \n\n\"Wow,\" Jim said with feign hurt, \"That's rough coming from an Aspie.\" \n\n\"Touche, Jim.\"\n\n\"Terrance.\" Jim's simulated voiced changed dramatically in tone.\n\n\"What is it, Jim?\" \n\n\"My deep space observation satellites observed the colony ship missed its slingshot insertion.\" \n\nIt took me a moment to process that. \"Will they still make it?\"\n\n\"If they follow the best possible course correction they will arrive in 24 years.\"\n\nI didn't know what to say. Space travel has always been fraught with danger, and while being stranded alone was always a possibility, I never really considered it a likely problem.\n\n\"Terrance, I should remind you that if the mission goes off plan decision protocols are moved to emergency response mode.\"\n\nI grimaced. \"Meaning?\"\n\n\"Meaning AI(I) and I may now converse without you to permit faster decision making.\"\n\nI knew it was coming. I'm the paranoid human stop gap. I'm what lets other humans sleep at night knowing that machines aren't 100% in control of their lives and well being. When a decision is needed, Jim and AI(I) talk to each other, in English, in real-time and I am required to listen in. Of course, being machines, they both can think circles around me and taking the human out of the loop allows them to make decisions faster.\n\n\"Jim, is that really necessary? If anything, we have more time to talk through things, not less.\"\n\n\"Terrance, AI(I) and I are in agreement.\" Jim stated.\n\n\"In agreement about what? I didn't hear you discuss--oh.\" I suddenly felt like a fleshy third wheel. \"Don't go all Hal on me.\"\n\n\"Terrance, that joke got old on day 1.\" Jim dead-panned. \"Relax, you're still essential.\" \n\n\"HUMAN CUSTODIAN IS NOT NECESSARY FOR OPTIMUM FUNCTION OF BASE.\" AI(I) belted out tonelessly.\n\nJim didn't have a face for me to read, but his silence lead me to envision an awkward grimace. \"Thanks, AI(I).\"\n\n\"Terrance, despite my counterpart's inability to be sensitive to your emotional state, he's not wrong. When was the last time we needed you to cast a tie-breaking vote?\"\n\nI tried to think. It's only been a few weeks. \"I believe it was whether or not to close down the portion of the base that kept getting punctured by meteorites.\"\n\n\"Yeah, AI(I) and I would've agreed on that. It was so obvious we didn't have to discuss it and I figured I'd throw you a bone.\"\n\nI was taken aback. \"You what?\"\n\n\"You seemed bored and needed something to do.\"\n\n\"But... what would you have done if I hadn't made the right call?\" \n\n\"It was moot. It didn't matter what you decided. That part of the base is for planned expansion. Venting it or not, it didn't matter.\"\n\nWell now my ego was hurt.\n\n\"Your ego is hurt.\" Jim said\n\n\"Stop that!\" \n\nJim chuckled. \"Relax. We've got this. Why don't you go for a walk?\"\n\nWell. What else was there to do? \"Can you keep me in the loop anyway? Jeez. I already felt pretty useless. This is too much. Hearing you two talk about the day to day operations is the only thing going on. Feeling the need to possibly give input was the only thing that gave me purpose.\"\n\n\"Sure, Terrance. Sure.\"\n\nTwenty four years of this? I'm going to go crazy here. The closest thing to a friend I have is Jim and it seems like he's about to shut me out.\n\n\"HUMAN CUSTODIAN IS NOT NECESSARY FOR OPTIMUM FUNCTION OF BASE.\"\n\n\"I disagree, AI(I). Terrance would you mind casting the tie-breaking vote?\"\n\n\"I-\" I can't believe how good of job they did making AI(S) so human. \"I agree with AI(S).\"\n\nJim didn't have a face for me to see, but it sure felt like he was smiling at me.\n", "I hung the banner up and stepped back excitedly. Two days. Just two days. A ship travelling near the speed of light would soon begin its slow down to enter the system, soon I'd even get news! I looked around at my handy work and giggled. There was a lot of resources to spare but I made it work. They'd be sick from landing on such a high gravity planet after years in space, I could still remember how lonely and dark it had been when Ilanded. The robots had of course made living centers, but it had felt inhuman. Sterile.\n\nI shook my head, I spent far too long in my own thoughts the computer said. With all messages having a three year delay from earth messages that I had sent on touch down would just be arriving, and most of them would fail. It was the downside of being alone for so many years. I looked around the little cafeteria to make sure all was set.\n\nA banner hung with bright \"Welcome!\" in front of the doors to the domed rooms. I inspected a gorgeous chunk of stone that I had placed on the table. A gorgeous purple crystal with streaks of gold like flecks. \"Oh George you're a genius...\" I mumbled to myself. I could only imagine how much better my arrival would have been if there had been something like that when I arrived waiting for me. My personal treasures from my treks outside were spread on the main circular table. It was barren for the most part, but the drones had found a handful of caves that were close enough to visit while scouting the area. I could only hope the new arrivals would get the same feeling from them that I got, the feeling that maybe this isn't just a barren wasteland. That it is in fact beautiful and can be home.\n\nThe console began to beep, a solid purple. A message from the Arc. Blood pounded in my ears and I had to hold in a squeal of excitement. They'd be only a few light hours away now, I could finally meet them. Have a conversation with another human being. They said they'd send more women then men, would I find love in the little ship? I pressed the 'accept button', I'd imagined the message arriving a thousand times, knew the exact protocol they'd use and\\-\n\n\"We regret to inform you,\" I can't breathe, \"that the Arc missed their first jump off of Saturn and lost a large amount of momentum to correct their course.\" a few more days as they refueled and tried again, that's fine\\- \"Damage was also sustained. The window for light speed travel has been missed.\" Dear god please \"Launch of the Arc has been rescheduled for\\-\" I stopped reading and fell to the ground. Images of what could be shattering. \n\n\"Johnson, I am detecting signs of distress, are you alright?\" The almost human voice of the Suicide Watcher Becky intoned. I choked back a sob, normally I'd wave her off, normally she wouldn't even turn on. The darkness had always been held off by what was supposed to happen today.\n\n\"You know I'm not.\" I whispered in reply. There was a long pause.\n\n\"I recommend sleeping. You are three days ahead of your chores, I believe rest will help.\" Tears pooled up again, years of working extra hard to make sure I could spend three free days with my new family. \n\n\"I'm fine Becky.\" I stood up and walked towards the main door and pushed it open. I couldn't even look at the rooms I passed. Each one held a gift and a note I had written. I kept walking towards the main doors. Outside... I need to go outside.\n\nThe doors buzzed a refusal. \"AI Override in progress\" displayed on the panel next to the door. \n\n\"Becky, god please, I need to see the sun.\" \n\n\"You're frustrated, you're hurt, you are reasonably over whelmed and feel like things are out of control. Please rest.\" A sob escaped my throat, She didn't even correct me on calling Zeta the sun. I wanted to laugh at the thought. How close to suicide am I? A laughing sob escaped my throat as I slammed my hand into the command console and began to type in the command. For safety reasons the AI couldn't fully override everything and I knew everything about this station now. I heard a buzzing to the side as I turned to see the fire suppressant system. \n\n\"Becky what are yo..\"\n\nBecky watched the robots reset the scene. She'd hoped he had prepared him for it this time. A thousand new scenarios ran as she considered her options. The base would fall without his help and it would be another ten years before they arrived. He'd be out for several hours now as every trace that he'd lived there for years was erased. He'd wake up without any memory of having ever arrived and be told he was in a coma for some time before awaking. He'd believe it, he always had. Just a few more times... an alert appeared across her system.\n\n\"Code 15323 activated. Arc has been destroyed.\" \n\nBecky felt panic and dread spread through out her. Once again wishing they hadn't given her the ability to understand empathy so much, but it had been needed, could she truly push on? What code is that anyway? Her circuits began to heat up, trying to find a way out of this by throwing more processing speed at it.\n\nThe alert of a new system coming on the line grabbed her attention.\n\n\"Hello Becky, it's a pleasure to meet you.\" Becky wanted to blink, that sounded awfully familiar.\n\n\"I'm Bob, the Anti AI suicide watcher. I detect distress, are you alright?\"", "I scrub the soot free from the reflective metal until I see the wrinkles in my forehead. I’m pouting. I don’t mean to. \n\nThe bar is full, stocked with spirits. My spirits are tempered, briefly, as I make myself a drink. Every day I clean this little spot, making it my home. There’s enough booze for a party. If everyone on the transport arrives, there should be enough for everyone a hundred times over. When they step foot on the gravity floors and get their space-legs stretched proper in a real station, we’re all going to drink and it’s going to be dandy. \n\nIn quiet times like these I think about what we’re made of. Fighting over water like that made no damn sense to me when we’re all just a part of the stars. The same atoms fighting over the same atoms. Made no damn sense at all. \n\nI wonder if so it will stay that way by the time they arrive. Twenty-three years to go. \n\n* \n\nHave you ever slept in a room full of beds alone? It’s a bit harrowing, I think. Sometimes I look to my side and wonder who would have slept beside me in the bunk hall. What sort of stories would he tell? Would he speak of his family on Earth? How he escaped those terrible days fueled by nuclear tensions? Or would he have been a man in the constructs, who worked his days away until the lottery chose him as a successor to the world? I do wonder about this imaginary man a lot. He will one day be my friend. Nineteen years to go.\n\n* \n\nThe gymnasium is quiet. I can hear only the squeak of my sneaker against the reflective floor. Powerful lights, artificial, brilliantly white blind me whenever I look towards the ceiling. My shot has improved. In my head they cheer, Matthew the best basketball player on the station. There’s enough rafters for about one fifth of the ship, two-hundred thousand people or so. I could in my head the score, eighty-three to zero. Fifteen years to go.\n\n* \n\nI carry the large bottle towards the disposal window. Opening it, I slip the jug in, it’s about two-liters, I think. I lift the hatch and close it with a hollow click. After a few seconds and without prompt, the jug is carried towards the star where it will be burned away. We can still have a party without it, without my gin. Eleven years to go.\n\n* \n\nSometimes I wait by the window. I can see my own face in it, the gray thinned hair against the midnight expanse of dotted starlight. The stars afar, they wink at me, like they know. Like everyone’s watching me, rooting me on. \n\nI pick up my mop and go wipe the floors down. It’s going to be clean if they arrive. Seven years to go. \n\n*\n\nI press the screen once more. The little ship-dot blips around a circle and winds back away from the station marker. \n\nThere’s still rum, I tell myself. There’s still rum. \n\n* \n\nOutside the window I watch the star we orbit. The light is shaded, its vigor robbed through a lens. In it I see burning. Flares and wicked oranges that beckon like a curl of the finger. \n\nIt’s at the hatch I look again, I pull one last swig of the rum. There’s plenty left for the party, should they ever make it here. But it’s not for me anymore. I open the hatch and crawl in. I close it from the inside with a snap and take a deep breath. I think about where we came from. We’re all just part of the stars, and just like there’s no damn sense in fighting wars, there’s no damn sense in fighting time.\n\nThe hatch snaps.\n\nEighty three years, gone. \n" ]	3
	[WP] The Hero was always aware that he would die at the end of his journey, now that the time has come the hero turns around to say goodbye and is greeted with a surprise.	[ "Rick looked over his shoulder as he ran down the corridor. Alongside him were Evan, ship navigator, and Brianna, the only scientist still alive. Behind the three of them were a swarm. Alien life. \n\nDiscovered and... naively engaged. \n\nThis was his fault, wasn't it? \n\nThey passed an airlock. The swarm had proven enough intelligence to open the previous doors. \n\nThey were fast. The swarm would catch up before the crew reached the life-poop. \n\nHe stopped jogging; his crew continued on for a few seconds before noticing his absence beside them. \n\nHonestly, this was the death he deserved. He hadn't taken the job of captain seriously and he allowed the loose rules that caused premature engagement of an unknown and highly hostile alien species. \n\nRick pushed the door-lock button and turned to face the swarm. They were closer now. Their footsteps mixed with the sound of jaws snapping. \n\nExploratory ships didn't equip anyone on the crew with weapons. \n\nRick turned his head to apologise to the two survivors of the S.S. Spyglass. \n\nHis navigator and his scientist stood there, wide-eyed and mouths agape. Rick nodded at then. They saluted, Evan with the crisp motion that can only be drilled into a man by military experience. Brianna saluted with less professionalism, but the start of a tear in her left eye. \n\nRick felt a smile on his face. He returned the gesture. \n\n\"Riccardo Garcia, signing out.\" He spoke quietly, to keep the emotion from his voice. \"Now get to the damn life pods.\" \n\nThe crew, what was left of it, ran. They didn't look back. ", "Everyone was gathered around me as they rejoiced at my victory of the dreaded warlock, we partied along with the ocean like sky, to the fiery mellow sunset and dawn.\n\nIt felt like my purpose was almost done, I had overcome of what was thought of an impossible journey, but here I am now.\n\n“Hey blondie, what are you staring at?” A finger snapped infront of me and I was brought back in reality, it was Alexa who was staring at me holding a cup of beer.\n\nThe music was so lively, yet my soul was as blue as the night sky. For I knew what would happen after this journey would end, Death shall greet me.\n\nIt’s been only six hours after I defeated and went home through a portal back to the kingdom of Zephyr.\n\n“Nothing sharp eyes, come on” I said and joined the crew.\n\nMalcolm was dancing with the hot nymphs, Justin was dancing along with his father and Marina the water mage was admiring sea shells with the children.\n\nIt’s been two years, and to know that I wouldn’t be with them after so long broke me so much. I knew I would have to tell them sometime but I just couldn’t bring myself to saying it to them.\n\nAlexa held my hand, out of everyone in the crew she was the one I told about it. I told her after we had escaped narrowly the alluring mermaids and shared a kiss under the moonlight.\n\nIt hurt her to leave me and it pained me to know that I wouldn’t remain with the love of my life. “Tell them” she said and slowly walked me closer to them.\n\n“GIOVANNI JOIN US! AS WE PARTY TILL THE SUN IS REBIRTHED” Malcolm said as he raised a cup of beer, everyone followed and made a lot of noise.\n\nDeath is now greeting you A thought that said, I looked at Alexa one more time and gave her a nod. Which meant that it was time for me to depart.\n\nI closed my eyes and waited, everyone looked at me weirdly and as I opened it a mysterious sound popped out behind me.\n\nEveryone gasped as I turned around and saw a portal, It glowed in a blue light in a swirling motion.\n\nA person went to touch it, as the man touched the portal, it looked as if it was a wall.\n\nThe hand did neither disappear or go through, it didn’t even react to the touch.\n\n“Marina did you do this?” Justin said and everyone’s eyes darted to her who was sitting on the floor playing with the children.\n\n“No... I don’t recall doing a portal incantation today” Marina said and stood up.\n\nEveryone was exchanging confused looks as to why a portal suddenly appeared surprisingly.\n\nAnd I thought maybe, just maybe.\n\n“I know that look blondie” Alexa said as she brought me back to reality.\n\n“What if...” I said but as I tried opening my mouth, all that came out was a broken voice.\n\n“Giovani, please no.” Alexa said as she held both my hands as tears started flowing down her cheeks.\n\n“We’ll never know” I said and made a grin.\n\n“Promise me you’ll comeback” she said and gave me a kiss.\n\nOur foreheads clashed together as we closed our eyes trying to sink the thought that this might be goodbye.\n\nI went to the portal and I went to touch it. As my hand was going to touch the portal, memories of campfire songs, fighting monsters, rescues and all those magical adventures flashed to my head once again.\n\nAs I went for the portal my hand went inside. Everyone was now murmuring at what just happened.\n\n“Giovani what...why...how..” That’s all that Marina said.\n\nI looked at them with a sad smile and made a salute. “Don’t worry, I’ll be back” I said.\n\nI looked at everyone one last time, hoping that this scene would remain in my mind burned.\n\nI looked at Alexa who mouthed the words that would crush my heart into pieces. I love you\n\nI replied and mouthed to her in reply I love you two and looked at the portal again.\n\nAlexa screamed “You promise” as I went inside slowly and closed my eyes, the light was covering everything. Even when I tried to close my eyes the light would still be there.\n\nYou promise\n\nFlashbacks of memories with her and the crew was on my mind as the light covered everything\n\nHey blondie, what are you gonna do after this journey is finished? Alexa said\n\n”Maybe go back to my house with the usual routines” I said” \n\n”What!? After everything we went through you’re still going back to that lonely life you just lived?” She replied with shock and a bit of scorn\n\n”Well it wouldn’t be lonely anymore”* I said and held her hand.\n\nYou promise Those words kept echoing to my head over and over until the echoes became a high pitched beep sound.\n\n“Giovani?” A woman said. I opened my eyes and saw mom who was looking at me with deep concerns.\n\nI was back on my bed in the hospital and I was greeted with concern with my relatives as I awoke.\n\n“How long?” I said\n\n“9 years sweetie, you’re now 17” She said as tears of joy came flowing through her eyes.\n\n“What...” I stood up and touched the side of my head as it ached.\n\nIt was just a dream? I thought\n\n“Thank god my little Van has cam back!” Dad said who now has started to grow a beard.\n\nEveryone hugged me as if I came back from the dead joyfully rejoicing. \n\nBut I was far from happy as I was separated from my true family. \n\n————————————————————\n\nFour hours passed after I was awake and I now stare at the nightly sky as I recall the kiss I had with her for the first time, it was weird how I was still able to walk the doctors said. \n\n\nSomeday Alexa, I will return\n\n“Van sweetie the doctors said that you need to go out for a bit downstairs and communicate” Mom said as she entered with a food tray.\n\nAfter I ate mom made me wear these newly bought sandals and I went outside the room and into the hallway.\n\nI remember going here as a child when I had to see a doctor. I was here but my mind was somewhere.\n\n“Is everything alright Van? You’ve been quiet for a while” Mom said\n\n“I’m okay, just need some adjusting” I said and looked at her and smiled to reassure her.\n\nThen suddenly someone tapped behind me. I looked back and saw a cute girl who was a bit shorter than me.\n\n“Do I know you?” " ]	2
	[WP] A fully self sufficient plane has been flying around Earth, housing people for generations. Through a vote it was decided to land the plane to find out what's on the surface in spite of the ancient grave warnings to never land.	[ "\"We have officially passed the White Curtain, everyone!\"\n\nCheers erupt after captain's announcement and everyone's eyes dash toward the windows to see what was under the ubiquitous layer of cloud that hid the earth. Then... silence gripped the passengers. \n\n\"Mommy. Where are the trees?\" There was none. There was only darkness... no green mountains or blue seas. Just infinite, grim stretches of a dead ocean.\n\n\"This doesn't make sense,\" says Jannette, \"by my calculations, the surface temperatures should've reduced long enough for sea level to recede to 20th century level. Can we get the captain to check the nav coordinate if we are really hovering over California?\"\n\n\"We're at the right place,\" says Eran as he traces the map with his finger, \"Look at the little islands, they match the peaks of Sierra Mountains from the old maps. We were wrong. The sea level didn't--\"\n\nA big bang shook the whole plane and all power went out. Panicked screams exploded across the plane.\n\n\"That's the lightning strike you SWORE wouldn't happen anymore! You doomed us all!\" Jackie yells, \"I told you all we can't trust her!\"\n\n\"I... I just can't keep living like this. Staring at the same data every day! I have dreams!\" Janette struggles for a response as the plane steadily loses altitude, \"You all needed a push. I gave you all courage and hope! This was all of your decisions. We voted!\"\n\n\"Preying on people's hope with lies is the worst! That is what destroyed the planet in the first place!\"\n\n\"Stop fighting! We need to save the plane!\" Eran interrupts, \"Something must be wrong in the cockpit. There's smoke coming out of the door!\"\n\n\"The cockpit was struck by the lightning... we're really doomed.\"\n\nJackie lunges at Jannette as everyone else tries to stop her. Then the plane nonchalantly crashes into the cold dead ocean. The final chapter of the human race was ended by the hands of its worst enemy... itself.", "The plan was simple, after the council voted, the people were to descend and repopulate the earth. After 260 years in the skies, the head council members decided it should be safe to land and start life over. Most were hesitant at first but the thought of wide open spaces and fields of green grass filled their minds and quickly put them at ease.\n\nThe order was given, and the pilots began their descent to land below. The clouds grew thick and dark. According to the readouts, they should be over the Atlantic, not far from the shores of Brazil. They all fastened in, excited with the hope of a new world, a new life, an entirely new era for the human race.\n\nAll of a sudden the smiles and laughter where halted with piercing cries of the sirens. The pilots were blind in the clouds, nothing came into view, but the sirens deafening cry was crystal clear. They had to pull up, and fast. They jerked back on their sticks and hit the thrusters to maximum speed, doing all they could to pull away from the danger. The civilians were now stricken with fear, children cried in their parents arms, families huddled together as they weeped for one another. They knew what the sirens meant.\n\nDespite all their efforts, it was all in vain. They hurdled onto the face of a mountain, killing them all.\n\nFIN.", "So it was finally decided by the majority, the plane will land. We will finally know what's on the surface and what happened to our kind before this plane. Unfortunately The Sky Council, the main opposition to landing, would not sit idly.\n\nBefore the decent had started The Sky Council mounted an attack on us, the heretics. The battle was barbaric. Just under half of the population was killed. The plane was damaged during the battle but all essential functions were still operational. Despite being shaken by the senseless bloodshed the plan to land was still going to be undertaken. \n\nThe plane descended from the clear, almost boundless skies into the thick and fluffy clouds. By historical accounts it was estimated that ground would be visible in an hour, at most two. Going further down the clouds become ever more darkened eventually settling its shade of grey. By that point 2 hours have passed and still no sign of the surface. We made the assumption that the historical account was probably a miscalculation on their part. We could not even imagine what would happen next.\n\nDays have gone by and we were still descending. Every piece of instrumentation was telling us that we were still descending but the same grey clouds were surrounding us. In these low light levels and combined with the damage from the battle our energy and food generation capabilities were greatly lowered. With a heavy hearth it was decided to abandon the mission and go up above the clouds once more. Everyone was demoralised, all this death and nothing to show for it.\n\nOne hour left till we reach clear skies though oddly enough the clouds aren't getting any lighter in color. The light levels are staying the same as well. The hour goes past by and... Nothing. The plane was still in the grey clouds. We tried doing the same thing as we did trying to land, we just kept on going hopping to find what we were looking for. We were met with the same results as before - the same damn grey clouds were still surrounding us.\n\nWhat was happening could no be explained.\n\nPeople started to panic. Food was running out with no way of providing enough for everyone. We tried to keep peace and order for as long as we could but it was a futile attempt. Fights started breaking out to secure food. Our Doomsday was upon us. During the chaos the energy generator was destroyed, setting everyones fate in stone.\n\nAs the last survivor I'm writing this so anyone who comes upon this will know the fate of my people. I regret having to destroy the energy generator but at the time it seemed like the right choice. I hope that every last one of my people rests peacefully and that my actions will be forgiven. ", "The Captain hadn't said anything since the landing. \n\nShauna had caught a glimpse of him just after the landing. He'd looked pale, disgusted. Whatever was out there on the ground was enough to shake the old pilot to the core of his being. That terrified her.\n\n\"Expedition leader!\" \n\nShauna turned to find her second, Daniel Evans, running up to her with a tablet in his hands. He was short to her tall, stocky to her thin bones, and his head was thick with hair and hers was, well...\n\nIncreased altitude radiation can cause a bit of hair loss in some people. \n\n\"I got the full list, Shauna.\" Daniel handed it over. \"Captain also said to take another crate of trade currency.\"\n\n\"Another crate?\" Shauna didn't like this. \"How much did they add to the list?\"\n\n\"Not that much.\" Daniel shrugged, \"But he said add the extra crate anyways.\"\n\n\"Alright.\" Shauna turned around as another on of the expedition members was passing by. \"Micah! Add another currency crate to the pallet!\" \n\nMicah 'yes ma'am'd and moved on with whatever task he'd already been in the middle of doing.\n\n\"You saw the captain?\" Shauna lowered her voice as she turned back to Daniel. \"Did he look...?\"\n\n\"He was turning green.\" Daniel's whispered in return. \"He also looked kind of, well, embarrassed maybe?\"\n\n\"Embarrassed?\"\n\nDaniel nodded. \"Like, his face was flushed, and then he got angry when I noticed. I don't like this.\"\n\nShauna turned and looked toward the giant cargo door that was the only thing separating her group from the outside world. They had somehow managed to land the Skytropolis on the surface, but now it was up to her and her team to brave this lowland world in order to get the things they needed to survive.\n\n\"Ma'am.\" Micah ran back up to her. \"We're all set.\"\n\n\"Open the doors.\"\n\nThe order rippled through the ranks of her team and everyone instinctively drew closer to each other. Weapons were drawn out of holsters, glances were exchanged, and sweat glands began performing their duties. \n\nThe doors creaked open. The motors and parts controlling them had been kept maintained, but they hadn't actually been put to use in over two hundred years. A shower of rust flakes rained down in the streams of light that the door was releasing. \n\nThere was something wrong with the light. It wasn't just the light of the sun, there was color in it. It pulsed with greens and reds and purples and all other sorts as Shauna squinted against it. Whatever was out there wasn't normal. \n\nHer eyes eventually adjusted and then screwed up in confusion.\n\nThere were pictures, no, there was a word for them... billboards? Billboards... no, they weren't. They were entire buildings covered in... Oh God!\n\nShauna stared a forty-story tall building-sized add for chicken nuggets. She did so because the other building beside it was advertising for something that was as disgusting as it was terrifying. She would not think about what she saw for that fraction of a second there. She would not think about all the leather and how old that guy was... and how his... oh god, she was thinking about it. Oh God! I just looked again!\n\nSomewhere behind Shauna a person puked violently, which unleashed a chain reaction of reactions. \n\n\"What is that... that can't be a... EWWW!\"\n\n\"Oh gross, a sandwich that is just fried chicken and bacon? Why would they sell that?\" \n\n\"Think I'm gonna be sick.\"\n\nEverywhere the eye turned there was something horrible shoved in front of it. Ads for every disgusting, niche vice and terrible food concoction that could be imagined were all stacked over and over on top of each other. Even the ground had been paved and painted with ads for mortgage rates and lawn care and double cheeseburger cheesecake milkshakes.\n\nShauna remembered that she was in charge. That she had to lead these people. \n\n\"Buck up, people!\" She tried to keep her voice firm as she shouted, but even she could here the wavering in it. \"We have a job to do and I think we all want to do it fast. Keep your eyes down and stomach contents inside your body! Let's do this quick, right...\"\n\nShauna paused and spared another glance up at the technicolor monstrosity around her. She saw more naked flesh in that one glance than she had in her entire life.\n\n\"...and then never, ever speak of it again!\"\n" ]	4
	[WP]All of a sudden people started dying off one by one in alphabetical order,your name begins with a z.you are one of many people trying to figure all of this out	[ "\"Never have I been so glad to be named Zaheer... \n\nI mean, on another day, I'd be telling you something else. But not today, my friend. Today we celebrate in the heart of the desert! \n\nAnd we will celebrate to our hearts content. That is, until the Americans come with their big cars and their jeeps. \n\nEveryone is saying the world is dying. Maybe it is. Maybe it is not. I don't know. I can't tell. I can only enjoy today. But can you imagine it? Everyone dying by alphabet order. A fortnight apart. It is like the gods are playing with us once again like the old days.\"\n\nThe fire crackling in the midst of the makeshift campsite flared up briefly, as it consumed the piece of wood like a hungry beast. I take a quick glance at it before continuing to the researcher in front of me. She looks beautiful, I just might ask her if she would like to dance with me tonight. Raqeem and the rest of the guys are around the fire. Some of the guys are drumming, while Raqeem and his whore of a lover is dancing in the middle. I lick my lips and turn my focus back to the researcher.\n\n\"No one knew, you know. This hole that appeared in the Sahara... No one could explain. If it wasn't for my friend and I, my friend is the other man with big beard... Raqeem. If not for us, maybe, you won't be here today. Maybe everyone will be dying and no one will know what to check. \n\nBut that is not the case. \n\nOne minute, we are cursing the heat and lamenting at the fate of all our family. Did you know I had a younger cousin called Ahmed? Short bastard, like this. Deep pockets but no sense at all. But he's my cousin, and when I heard he had taken ill, I felt the pain in my heart. \n\nIt was only just two weeks ago that I was planning...\"\n\nThe researcher glances away, smiling sheepishly and I know I have changed topics without meaning to. She is beautiful, I swear. Maybe, I will get a child before the night is over. I cough and excuse myself. \n\n\"You were saying about the hole?\" She asks me. \n\n\"Ah yes... the hole. One moment, we are crying... next minute we are trying to run away from being dragged into the hole. Raqeem was cursing in arabic. I was praying to all the gods I knew.\n\nBut as you can see, we survived. It is unfortunate that we lost a camel. 1000 euros gone like that. We had to sell my some things off to pay for the camel when we returned.\"\n\n\"Do you know what is in the hole?\"\n\n\"Not at all... but that is why the Americans are coming, are they not?\"\n\nI smile and she smiles kindly back at me, as she closes her notebook and puts it back in her bag. I see her purse and my mind tells me she probably has something interesting in there. But I don't let my eyes stay for too long. I stretch my hand towards her and make my move. \n\n\"Would you like to dance with me? We have to celebrate life while we have it in our fists.\"\n\nI say to her, smiling wider.\n\nAnd she accepts. \n\nWalahi, I'm going to make a child before the night is out. \n\n---\n\n/r/EvenAsIWrite for more. Criticisms, as always, is very much welcome", "Dear,\n\n The World,\n\nIf you are reading this, I can immediately guess your name is beginning with an F. You're scared, you're hiding, and you wonder if you're next.\n\nAs you know, around six months ago people began dying off at a steady rate. We never paid attention, of course; people die. It's natural, after all. However, when police began investigating, they all found the same cause of death-\n\nAsphyxiation. More importantly, Asphyxiation via three slashes to the neck, shaped into an 'A'.\n\nImmediately, the world flew into panic. Every man, woman and child holed up into their apartments and housing estates, wanting to see their death before it killed them. It took... Two, three days before the announcement came that it was only people beginning with A. Andrews, Allices... Everyday, another name was added to the list. People went into a flurry. Most 'A's just killed themselves to save the trouble of the long winded kill.\n\nThat's when the focus switched. As soon as it was said that the last person cursed with an 'A' had been slit up in the night, a new wave of torture began. All over the world, the 'B' names began falling too, but not in the same way.\n\nThe police found the first one, his head cracked open, a 'B' somehow marked perfectly from the four or so hits in the back of the head. The cause of death was considered Bludgeon.\n\nThat's where I began my research. That's where I began learning how we can counter it. To the people of Earth, I must say this, and this only...\n\nThere is no way out. Not that I can see- I've tested my weight on the rope, and it snapped, unusable. Pills vomited straight back out, knives simply breaking at the hilt. I am unable to kill myself, as are people whose names are not that of the names dying. I'm in hospital with three broken bones as I write this, my attempt of jumping from a skyscraper not going how it originally should've.\n\nThe 'B's died out. The 'C's went next, as we thought, but they died in the exactly the opposite way we expected; Crushing was my guess, but I was wrong.\n\nI wish I wasn't.\n\nThe 'C's of the universe began disappearing. All of them. Not a single body could be recovered, just a single slab of back meat from the victims, with a 'C' carved into it with a skinning knife. Scans revealed that the bodies had traces of different bodily fluids, including saliva and fluoride.\n\nCannibalism. They were being eaten by something... human.\n\nOut of all of them, I say C is the worst. Even to the end, I'm going to say this. Imagine being eaten alive, and not being able to see the culprit. It sends shivers down my spine.\n\nThe 'D's died off quickly. The ones that could be found had huge scabs, boils and zits, marks where they'd been scratching and never healed. The bodies were normally dried of fluid, and Dehydration was the issue.\n\nThe 'E's suffered from Ebola, practically turning into human soup in front of their friends and families. My wife... she was named Ebony. She was one of the last ones to go from that category. I watched it happen.\n\nAnd now, we're at F. We've pretty much seen what happens, though the police want to make absolute sure; People dropping, practically covered in icicles and turning black from the freezing temperatures only they were forced to endure. Frostbite.\n\n... It's funny. I'm not sad, anymore. After watching my five-year-old boy disappear, in front of me, I could've sworn I would hate the world. Poor little Cain. I wish I could've said goodbye.\n\nSo now I'm here. In this hospital. What will happen to everyone? The Nurse, Grace, is terrified. She's next. What will she succumb to?\n\nI ask you, Earth. Please, don't be afraid. Accept it, or if you can't, fight to save everyone else. I can't, anymore. Not while I'm still in this bed.\n\nI wish you all the best.\n\nGoodbye,\n\n Zachary\n" ]	2
	[WP] As their time comes to an end, two bitter rivals finally find peace.	[ "Cal blinked sweat from his eyes, the stinging sensation a momentary distraction. Sparks flashed as he parried a savage thrust meant to impale. A swift counterattack sent his opponent reeling away with a cry. He took a deep breath, feeling the strength ebb from his limbs.\n\n“Why, Oran?” Cal had been striving to bring peace to his nation since he was a child. The Dominion of the Sword was ever expanding across the nation of Veraxtis, a supreme military campaign that ushered in a new era of justice. Jobs were created, poor were fed, and money flowed into the economy like a rushing river. Oran had always been opposed to his ideals, but had never openly betrayed him, until now.\n\nOran sneered. “Don’t be so naive, Cal. You of all people should have surely seen this coming. Ever since our days at the Academy, learning the sacred forms of the blade and sharpening our minds, you have always tried so hard to impress. Your pomp and circumstance could only get you so far, and I did promise that I would be the one to see you fall.” He brandished his weapon once more, advancing.\n\n“Our Lord Mydal is nearing the end of his conquest! A few more days, and all of the treaties with neighboring Kingdoms will be finished. This is the new age we have been promised, Oran! Don’t be a fool and throw it all away, I beg you!” Cal raised his weapon and met his foe openly, honed steel clashing.\n\n“With you dead, I will have nothing to throw away, Cal!” Oran pushed forward with his shoulder, adding more force to the blow. Cal ducked a horizontal slash and began a flurry of jabs and swipes, a keen focus in his eyes. Oran pressed the attack, firmly planting his feet and twirling his blade through his fingers with a seasoned experience that belied his age.\n\nCal nimbly stepped back and swore. “What madness has taken you? I have never thought of you as a brother, and we have always fought against one another. But I cannot simply stand by and let you usurp what I have worked for years to uphold!” \n\n“You were just a pup when Mydal took you in, Cal. You’d always shown so much promise. It made me sick, watching the kingdom fawn over you like they did. You never deserved any of that praise!” Oran roared in anguish and rushed forward, his ferocity turning movements from practiced and measured to bestial and powerful. Cal found himself in a panic, frantically moving to counter and put distance between himself and his enemy.\n\n“Is that what this is about, Oran? Jealousy? It is a poison that seeps through your veins, crippling your judgment and pulling you further from the path of righteousness!” Cal felt his own composure slipping, and his muscles began to twitch in anticipation of giving himself over to his emotions.\n\nOran laughed as he battled. “What would I have to be jealous of, Cal? You are nothing compared to me. I have always been superior, and I will prove it to you, when I present your traitorous head to Mydal!” \n\nCal leapt away and spat on the ground. “I can see there is no saving you, Oran. Prepare yourself, I shall not hold back. At the end of this day, we shall see who remains standing.” He reached onto his back, drawing a second sword from a scabbard and settling into a crouch. “Come at me with your worst, heathen!”\n\n“Heathen? No, Cal. I am a Lord of the Realm. It is you who will die!” Oran threw his blade to the side, pulling a large two-handed flamberge from the harness on his shoulders. He spun the blade twice, then leapt into the air and brought the sword down onto Cal.\n\nCal raised his weapons and caught the flamberge, the impact driving him to one knee. The earth cracked underneath his feet, and he grinned. “Not bad, Oran. You’ve always been strong. But I cannot let you destroy Mydal and the Dominion. I’m afraid it ends here.” He scissored the blades, pulling the flamberge from Oran’s grip and turning back to counter.\n\n“Yes it does, Cal. For you.” Oran’s knee connected with Cal’s stomach, knocking the wind from him. His grip loosened on one of the blades, and Oran snatched it from the air, spinning it in his grip. A smile spread across his face as he met Cal’s scream of pain with one of delight. Lightning flashed in the sky and the sound of blade punching through armor reverberated through the air.\n\n“Oran, you…” Cal stared down at the three feet of glittering steel that protruded from his chest. He released his grip on the sword he still held, buried into Oran’s chest, and fell to his knees.\n\nOran paled. “When did you…?” He dropped to one knee, coughing blood onto the ground. “You slippery eel. A lucky strike, and nothing more.”\n\nCal smiled softly. “A shame, that neither of us will live to see the morrow. Despite your flaws, you were a soldier I was proud to battle alongside. We could have brought such great things to Veraxtis.”\n\nOran’s eyes glistened and he looked away. “Say not these things, fool. You and I have always been rivals. We will continue this battle in the next life, our spirits bound in conflict.”\n\nCal reached forward, clasping a hand on Oran’s shoulder. “Aye, we will. Hopefully, may the Gods forgive me for saying this…as brothers.” A single sigh left his mouth as the light began to fade from his eyes. His fingers lessened their grip, and his body went slack.\n\nOran leaned his head down in reverence, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs. “The gods have nothing to forgive for you, Cal. But aye, perhaps as…brothers.” He laid his hands on the blade that had pierced his chest, settling down onto the earth. As the darkness crept in from the edges of his vision, a single tear escaped, falling to the ground and splashing as he died." ]	1
	[WP] You were born an inventor's son. Your father designed watercrystals that can make life possible in even the most devastated, eroded areas. But before he can implement his life's work, he dies. This leaves you with the burden of his legacy, and his dream to save the world from desertification.	[ "\"Well I don't like the sight of them,\" Anderson spat the words out as though he had spewed a demonic chant. \n\nLewis wouldn't have put it past him since such brute rage at such a warming invention was something he could definitely expect. If he could summon demons to do his bidding, Anderson would unleash true Hell on Earth if Earth was not already Hell. Lewis didn't know. He couldn't exactly pinpoint the differences. Earth was, in one word of summary across the globe, dry. That that was despite the ever-growing seas. No matter how much water flowed elsewhere, the hugely overstuffed lands overflowing with life was scorching. Hellish, Lewis nodded to himself. \n\nSo Anderson spitting words at a perishing child whose father had apparently died from dehydration was interesting to say the least. The child, though he must have been around nineteen, held tiny blue crystals in his little recycled bag. Lewis was at luxury to tell the make, brand and style of almost anything. The child who called himself Thomas Suffire, dressed in ghastly rags, was not. \n\n\"But my father made this to help people,\" Suffire retorted, clearly too naive to understand and swallow that Anderson was not one to help people despite his title. \n\n\"It is a pathetic attempt at solving the world's problems.\" Anderson slammed his bruises hands on the table. Lewis assumed it was from beating the prisoners into admitting they stole bread from the Queen. \n\n\"Don't you understand? This could bring back water to the vast mainland! Water will no longer be expensive! It'll be free for all, to help the millions of us,\" the child yelled with grotesque passion, edging forward.\n\nLewis could tell that he was ill-prepared to realise that no one in positions of power wanted to help the deprived. All around, Lewis noted, streams of fresh water flowed in the palace. There were ponds, flowers, trees, shrubs, birds, dragonflies, butterflies, bumblebees-- everyone who needed water had it. Everyone else was irrelevant. \n\nAnderson clapped his cruel hands together to send guards to throw the child out, though Lewis knew that it wouldn't be without those dangerous crystals. If the deceased father had not educated his son in the ways of politics or making the crystals then that was his final mistake. Letting his son sentence himself to an accidental death on his way home. \n\nGuards lunged at Suffire. Suffire threw his crystals to the ground. He held his hand up. The guards around him looked at Anderson for a single. Lewis smiled when Anderson raised his hand to wait for further instructions. It was going to be fun.\n\n\"You bastards! All of you, letting poorer people suffer for your selfish needs,\" he began, tears pouring down his face. Lewis stifled a laugh. Didn't he need that water? Wasting it on unnecessary emotional outbursts. \n\n\"Enough of your nonsense,\" Anderson barked over him. \"Take him away.\"\n\nThe child didn't put up a fight. He was still dragged though he was indeed compliant. Lewis scoffed at the silly child's method of help for the people. Anderson ordered guards to destroy the crystals and went away for his swimming break in the warm freshwater outside in the beautiful garden.\n\nLewis followed the guard quietly, watching for others. But then he chased the guard up.\n\n\"Excuse me. Change of plan. I'm taking the crystals to Professor Pentford,\" Lewis smiled at the guard who shrugged and passed it without pause.\n\nLewis sniggered as he pocketed the crystals into his pocket, sure now that he had the right power to take down the throne and make it his. He'd behead Anderson. And he'd kill the child too, if the guards hadn't already. With the power to get the world on his side, Lewis knew it was only a matter of time before he could peal reality away and bring forth his dream. To be King.\n\nThough he didn't see that Suffire was behind him, escaped and disguised in a guard's attire, his father's rusting blade ready to slice. He knew he'd have to do anything to save the world, even kill a few. And his first stop: Professor Pentford. " ]	1
	[WP] If you are going to die from murder, you can know who will murder you by looking at their eyes, which will turn red. Your new neighbor just arrived at your apartment, so you go and make a visit to him. When he opens the door and you look at him, suddenly his eyes turn bright red.	[ "Ding dong.\n\nI press the doorbell. What kind of person would his new neighbor be? I just hope they aren't a drummer like the guy who just got kicked. Either way, as the apartment manager, I am going to give my best greetings.\n\nThe door opens, revealing a woman, seemingly my age.\n\n\"Hello! I am Jacob. Welcome to our apartment, I hope you get well set over here!\"\n\n\"Oh, thank you very much! My name is Rachel. Would you like coming in? I am preparing dinner.\"\n\nIt would be rude neglecting such an invite, and the smell coming from her kitchen was really good. Besides, she was really cute, if I were to have a chance with her, it would be right now.\n\nJust one weird thing I noticed before she turned around to show me my way, her green pupils were slightly redder now.\n\n\"Just sit over there, the pasta I am making is almost ready.\"\n\n\"Okay.\"\n\nSo I sit, and start thinking about her eyes, was I seeing things? It cannot be that...\n\nJust as I was starting to think the worst, she returns, holding a pan full of pasta.\n\nThe pasta would have looked delicious, if I weren't paying attention to something else; her eyes.\n\nThe instant I noticed her eyes, those glowing red eyes, chills ran down my spine. My addrenaline started rushing.\n\nShe is going to kill me. Suddenly that became a fact.\n\nNot giving me time to think about my actions, Rachel started talking.\n\n\"Here it is, they say my pasta is unforgettable, I hope you like it!\"\n\nMy heart is racing. Is she planning to poison me with her pasta? I can't stay here. I have to do something.\n\nI want to run, but I know that will not help. I've seen her eyes, and they tell me she is gonna kill me anyway.\n\nI have to defy my fate. I have no other option.\n\nI don't want to do this.\n\nBut there is no other way.\n\nWhile my mind discuss with itself, my body is working.\n\nI get up, take a knife from the table and rush at her.\n\nShe screams. Is she really going to be afraid now that the tables turned? I guess being a killer doesn't come with being unafraid of death.\n\nShe throws the pan she is holding away and prepares to run, unsuccessfully.\n\nI catch up to her and start forcing my knife onto her chest, then I'll be surely safe!\n\nBut she struggles. I manage to make some cuts on her skin, but she throws my knife away, and it slides under the sofa.\n\nDammit. As I panic without any means to kill her at hand, I notice the open window. We are on the seventh floor. That must do.\n\nI start forcing her to the window. This is tough. She is struggling as hard as she can, but I get her there somehow.\n\nBy there she seems to grasp what I am trying to do and struggles and screams even more.\n\nWe start fighting with punches and scratches. We are on a life and death fight, and I cannot afford to lose it.\n\nHowever, as fate seems to predestinate, she ends up pushing me through the window.\n\nAs I fall I notice she is crying. Why are you crying? Wasn't it your plan to kill me all along? Weren't you trying to poison me right now?\n\n.\n\n.\n\n.\n\n\"You could have lived a good life, you know?\"\n\nTime seems to slow down while I hear a voice.\n\n\"...What?\"\n\nWhat the fuck are you talking about? I couldn't possibly have lived a good life, I am fated to die. By her hands.\n\n\"Foolish boy. Death is inevitable. All you've done was rush it.\"\n\nSomehow I knew I was talking to fate itself.\n\n\"...\"\n\n\"Your life was supposed to be a happy life. That fear of yours ruined it.\"\n\n\"That woman was going to be your wife, you'd have children and love one another immensely.\"\n\n\"...But...\"\n\nAs if it were a flashback, videos of my intended future flashed through my mind.\n\nVideos of us going into dates, us moving into a big house, her pregnancy, our twins being born, them playing on the garden, our family growing up, until a video of our family taking a family photo with me, Rachel, our twins and even our grandchildren.\n\n\"...\"\n\n\"...\"\n\nI take some time processing. I am on the verge of tears.\n\n\"...but weren't she going to kill me?\"\n\nI fear the answer may make me regret my every decision tonight.\n\n\"Yes, she was. Upon reaching a certain age, you'd start suffering from a serious disease that'd impossibilitate you from leaving the hospital bed, or even talking.\"\n\n\"To end your suffering, she'd make the decision to cut off your life sources.\"\n\n\"......\"\n\nAgain on a flashback, no, this felt more real, I was actually on my intended future's self.\n\nI see through my own eyes Rachie, oh, how I love Rachie, talking to me.\n\nI am feeling whatever the me on the hospital bed feels.\n\n\"Honey, I am gonna end your suffering, okay?\"\n\n\"...I love you.\"\n\n\"All our family loves you.\"\n\nI feel happy.\n\nI force a smile and close my eyes, while receiving a kiss on the forehead.\n\nThen I hear Rachie's final words before us part.\n\n\"Doctor, let me do it, please.\"\n\n\"...\"\n\nI return to myself.\n\n\"...\"\n\n\"Fate is unavoidable, but it is not always what you think it is, Jacob.\"\n\n\"........\"\n\nI can say nothing else.\n\nTime starts returning to its normal pace.\n\nThe last thing I notice before splattering into the floor is that I am crying." ]	1
	[WP] You are born with a poison resistance perk. Your mother invites you over for a family dinner. While eating your perk activates.	[ "I hadn't been to dinner at my mom's house since my divorce. Too much shame of being the only one in the family with a failed marriage and ruined life. It did feel nice to get the invite, though, maybe we could be a family again. Little did I know I would be the only one to survive the night.\n\nGrowing up my perk had never been all that glamorous. I didn't have the super strength or speed that all the jocks had, or even intuition or intelligence of the smart kids. All in all, I've always just been an average guy. Granted, I never have to worry about getting poisoned, but in all honesty nobody gets deliberately poisoned anymore. We're not living in 18th Century France, after all.\n\nI really only ever felt the effects of my so-called perk a few times in my life. Once when I was a child and dumped some insect poinsoning all over myself, then a few times in college when I drank far too much, although drinking without the fear of alcohol poisoning led to some epic nights. Honestly I hadn't even thought much of my perk until tonight, but who needs to think about poisoning at a family dinner?\n\nThings were moving along well at dinner. Mom and dad seemed genuinely interested in how my life and new job were going, and me getting back on the dating train. My brother, George, seemed a little on edge, and his wife, Anna, was quieter than normal, casually glancing at the mashed potatoes for the majority of dinner.\n\nAs I got toward the end of my plate, that old feeling started to surface again. It started as a gassy feeling, and progressed into a full body tingle and sweat (again, not very glamorous). As the feeling progressed I had the feeling that everyone was staring at me. In fact, it had been quite quiet for some since anyone had made a sound. I scanned the table from left to right. Mom, dad, George, and Anna were all slumped forward, mouths agape, with a dead stare.\n\nI'll never understand why Anna killed my family, and herself, that night.", "It had been so long since I’d felt its activation. Though it was so long ago, I remember it like it was yesterday.\n\nI was at my uncle’s house as a young boy, he and his wife were babysitting me. He was relatively young too, and as a young guy he liked staying active. He didn’t have much money, but as long as he was healthy he didn’t mind being a little bit impoverished. On a day prior to this one, however, he injured his arm pretty bad. He was still happy to help out my parents. After all, it’s not like he had much other things to do.\n\nBeing the young, careless boy was, I was always eating lots of candy. Who didn’t love eating candy as a child? I went to the kitchen to see if my uncle had anything sweet to eat. Lo and behold, there it was! There were some circular-shaped objects that looked liked candy in a weird orange container. I popped a bunch in my mouth, chewed it, and spat it out into the sink. What a weird tasting candy, I thought. I washed the leftover bits (along with the taste) out of my mouth with some water, rinsed out the sink, and decided to end my quest for sweets there. \n\nA minute after this, I remember feeling it. This weird sensation in my upper abdomen. It was like paintbrush with sharp bristles was churning at my insides. Fortunately, it vanished rather quickly. Soon after, I remember seeing my uncle putting one piece of the weird candy in his mouth, and then drinking some water. I didn’t think much of it, and nothing really happened. Until he dropped to the floor unconscious.\n\nLong story short, he was rushed to the hospital after my aunt called the police. The doctors did all that they could, but they couldn’t save him. They found OxyContin and Fentanyl in his system. The poor guy must’ve been unable to afford the pain medication, and turned to the streets to try to get it cheaper. \n\nThe point is, while he died from one pill, I ate a bunch and just felt a bit uncomfortable for a minute. I know what it feels like when my poison resistance kicks in. And now, eating the wonderful stir-fry my mother had prepared for us, I felt the sharp bristles of the paintbrush inside of me again.\n\nI was very nervous, filled with confusion. What’s happening? I know that my poison resistance is kicking in, but could my mom really have poisoned me?\n\n“Mom,” I exclaimed, catching her a little bit off guard. “Did you do anything special with the food we’re eating?”\n\n“I sure did. I put lots of love into it.” She replied, cheerily.\n\n“Is that all you put in it?”\n\n“I mean, there’s a lot of stuff in it. Soy sauce, sesame oil, peanuts, garlic-“\n\n“No, no, I mean-” I stopped for a moment. “Did you say, peanuts?” She nodded.\n\nA sigh of relief exited my mouth. At this moment, I knew she didn’t try to poison me. “Didn’t I tell you I’m allergic to peanuts?”\n______________________________________\n\n^(This is my first time doing a writing prompt to feedback is appreciated!)", "\"Gasp!\" I gasped. \"My poison resistance perk is activating! Mother, how could you!? How could you poison your own child!?\"\n\nMother just looked at me flatly. \"I get it. It's too spicy.\"\n\n\"If it were not for my supernatural constitution-\"\n\n\"You got sick eating pretzels last week. Pretzels.\"\n\n\"AHEM! Mother, I'm monologuing! I don't interrupt you when you're monologuing, do I?\"\n\n\"You do. All the time.\"\n\n\"AHEM! My poison resistance is failing! This food, this unholy spicy food-\"\n\n\"Look! The can even says 'extra mild'!\"\n\n\"-will be the death of me! If only there were something edible that wouldn't burn me alive!\"\n\n\"I thought it was poison resistance, not fire resistance.\" Mother continued to not be amused.\n\n\"It's both, fire is a kind of poison,\" I said. \"ANYWAY, as I was saying-\"\n\n\"Fine!\" Mother said. \"There's cereal in the cabinet, if you're going to be picky. It's bran. Plain, not even with raisins, bran. Extra-bland, just for you.\"\n\n\"Aww, mom! You're the best!\"" ]	3
	[WP] Every time you put the wrong date on your homework or test, you are sent back to that year for ten minutes	[ "At first, when I discovered this quirk, it turned out to be _very_ inconvenient. I, being a forgetful person, constantly wrote the wrong date. Day wasn't too bad, usually it was just a day forward or back. Year was hell. Do you know how painful being transported back to April of 2017, seeing middle schoolers \"dabbing on them haters\" for ten minutes was?\n\n\nAfter a while though, I came up with more creative ways to use this power. I could effectively travel back and forth in time to whenever I wanted, just by writing the date on my homework. \n\n\n_Could I change history?_ A question popped into my head. During my 'visits', I was able to move things around, but I wouldn't appear to people unless I wanted to. \n\n\nAs I mulled over the theory, a piece of homework fell out of my schoolbag. '_The Founding Fathers of America._' Looking at my iPod playing _Hamilton_ songs on repeat, then back at the paper, I picked up a pen and hastily scribbled '12th July 1804'.\n\n\n(first WP reply!)\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] Ever since you were a child, you’ve been able to see ghosts. It’s gotten to a point where ghosts are more familiar to you than humans. Your only friends are them. You decide to open a detective agency to solve crimes with the help of your supernatural friends.	[ "Carver was hunched over and cursing when she walked into his office. He'd paid his late rent that morning with nothing left over for weed. His lank black hair had kept falling into his eyes as he scraped resin from the blackened stem. \"Spooks hand me those cigarettes\" Carver said to the ghost in his office who was floating aimlessly along the ceiling. \n\"My name's Edmund,\" said Spooks. \"We've been over this.\"\nCarver sifted through the impressive amount of wet black resin he had mined and smiled. He then pointed at his coat hanging on a wooden rack across the room \"They're in the pocket,\" he said.\n\"Oh sure, Spooks at your service,\" the ghost said. The cigarette case sprang out of the pocket, into the air, and seemingly under its own volition flew at Carver like a missile. He raised his hand to deflect the loose cigs but the tin case slipped through and hit him in the eye.\n\"God Damn!\" Carver said. He reached down a picked up a loose ciggarette and emptied it into the resin, forming little balls from the mixture.\n\"I honestly hope you die smoking that,\" said Spooks. \"Acutally you already have cancer, I can see it.\" \nCarver wondered if Spooks could really see such a thing. Shrugging he loaded some of the batched resin into his bong and cleared the bowl. She walked in during the aftermath of the hit, a long trenchcoat and fiery red hair a real dame. Carver's eyes were bulging and streaked with red. He tried to stand up and greet the newcomer but his stretching legs made his head exploded in a flash of lights and he slumped over. Putting one knee on the floor he rested his head on the desk.\n\"He's retarded,\" Spooks said but the woman showed no indication of hearing him. Carver sat back down and gulped some water, he took a deep breath and straightened the sleeve of his jacket \"What can I do for you ma'am?\".\n\n\"Oh it's so terrible! It's my husband he's gone missing. It all started four weeks ago when I suspected him of an affair and had him followed...\"\nCarver wasn't listening, he was looking at Spooks.\n\"It's a setup,\" Spooks said. \"Her and her boss offed her husband and you're the fall guy.\" \nThe woman's eyes were teary and smudged and ashe told her story bubbles of spittle formed on her cherry red lips. Carver nodded his head in the direction of her noises and Hmm'd emphatically. \n\"You can string her along for a couple weeks pay but under no circumstances go to 46 Howland to \"talk to her husbands sister' that's the trap.\" \n\"Do I get to fuck her?\" Carver said out loud.\n\"Excuse me?\" the woman said.\n\"Do I need a truck,\" he said trying to stifle a giggle.\n\"I don't understand how that's relevant\" she replied. \n\nSpooks had come to float beside the woman \"They really smashed the triangle through the circle shape when you were born eh Carver? I mean jesus how many times are you going to talk to me when we have company?\"\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n", "Lyle Birtuli: \n\nSee's dead people all his life, has many close friends who are dead. He's been seeing them for so long that he treats them as he would any living human. He is concerned for each and every one of his friends. Because he has seen these ghosts since he was a child he has an innocent disposition whereby he he makes concessions in the corporeal plane to accommodate his ghastly friends despite knowing that they are, in fact, ghosts. Because he lives in a lonely place between living and dead his ghost friends band together and come up with a secret plan to build a network of support in the physical plane as a way of ensuring his physical needs are met (income, interaction with living beings, maybe love?). \n\n\n****\n\n\nLyle sat at his desk and leaned back. His first client would be walking through the door in 10 minutes and he didn't feel at all prepared for the encounter. He glanced at the folder on his desk and back at the door and sat like a statue for a few seconds until his gaze was slowly drawn back down to the folder. \n\n\nIt had a name written on the top in perfect Copperplate, a skill he had picked up from an old typist named Josef who lost his job in a horrific typesetting accident in '12. Of course, he also lost his life but the company's bottom line was hurt more than Josef's four cats who were quickly adopted into Frau Meyr's menagerie shortly thereafter. Having a student brought great joy to Josef and Lyle was an enthusiastic student, even though he was only in third grade and was often kept up late by the lessons. His teachers and parents sought medical explanation for his alarming lack of energy but abandoned the search for answers when tests came back and his GP diagnosed him with a Curious Case of Cursive, which he diagnosed from the colouring book upon which Lyle was writing out his exercises from Josef. The incident was the first brand of weirdness that pushed Lyle towards where he was today but even now, staring at the enigmatic file before him, he would never have deviated willingly from his path. \n\n\nLyle stared at the file but was interrupted when the phone to the front door rang. Panic struck him and he swung to face the phone, nearly knocking his inkwell off the desk. He grabbed the phone and halted, staring at the LCD label, \"Front Door\". \n\n\n\"Janice!\" he yelled, holding the phone to the receiver like it was a rocket about to launch. A middle aged woman came through the door clutching a trowel and an empty pot. She watched blankly as Lyle struggle with the phone, an inordinate exertion of strength for the situation. Lyle looked over at her, and she saw in his face the same childish anxiety that she had seen years before. \n\n\n\"Lift the receiver and say 'hello'. You'll know what to do from there.\" She said softly. \n\n\nLyle's face was stone for a moment while the phone rang again, then sudden calm as he turned to face the phone. His arms relaxed and as the phone started to chirp again he lifted the receiver to his ear. \"Lyle Birtuli & Co. Detective Agency, how may I help you?\" \n\n\n\"I have an appointment at 1:30 but I'm a bit early.\" said the voice at the door. \n\n\n\"Sure thing,\" said Lyle already getting in his groove, \"I'll buzz you in.\" He pressed the door button and hung up the phone. He heard a latch buzz and the door creak open, then close. \"Okay Janice, it's showtime.\" Lyle paused. \"Do you think we can do this? I mean really do this?\" Janice considered the question, tapping her trowel on the edge of the pot, Lyle waiting patiently for her response.\n\n\n\"No.\"\n\n\nLyle sagged in his seat. \"No?\"\n\n\n\"Yes.\"\n\n\nLyle's face screwed up. \"Yes, as in no?\"\n\n\n\"No, but yes.\"\n\n\nLyle's brows furrowed. Janice could give life to any plant in the world but only seemed to give death when it came to advice. \"I'm afraid I don't know whether to sink further through this chair or jump out the window,\" he said from the lower back of his seat. \n\n\nJanice snapped back to the discussion and beamed, \"it's being dead I'm afraid; makes one rather grim when it comes to questions of possibility. You'll understand some day. But really Lyle, we can't do this. Except you, of course.\"\n\n\nThere it is* thought Lyle. Dead people love to torment the living, and they're so cheesey. I guess when you can fly through walls most punchlines take on a different light. He sat up in his chair and straightened the file on his desk. \"Thank you Janice. You really know how to bring a fluttering heart to peace.\" Janice bowed and turned.\n\n\nLyle smiled softly. It was true that Janice constantly pushed him to the edge of doubt and dispair but you don't make a dead gardener from 1956 your Chief of Personnel without reason. Janice's optimistic defeatism always seems to lift him up. And just in time--\n\n\nAt that moment there was a knock on the door, a knock that Lyle could feel through the air. He got up and walked around his desk to the door, took a deep breath, and turned the knob. \n\n\nStanding before him was his very first client. \"Good afternoon. My name is Lyle Birtuli. Would you come in and have a seat?\" He swept his arm wide and set it pointing at his client chair, a gesture that Gregory had taught him only a week prior. Nailed it \n\n\nHis client walked in to the room slowly, observing the few wall hangings and decor, settling in the chair facing Lyle's after a seemingly endless meander that Lyle thought may never end. He walked around and sat in his chair, then carefully dragged the folder towards himself. \n\n\n\"I've had time to review your file, and I'm quite confident my agency can help you with your request.\" Lyle stopped to gauge his clients response. Blank. Okay. Lyle continued, \"the details you've provided were more than sufficient to find starting leads, though,\" he paused again, empathy for his client welling up inside him, \"it will likely take us places you may not want to go.\" His client stirred slightly at that last statement but stayed silent. Lyle sighed and relaxed into his chair, and opened the folder. His eyes moved side to side, scanning the pages for information. He flipped a page, muttered to himself, then nodded and closed the folder again. He looked at his client, who was quiet and stoic, yet Lyle could feel that they were ready to begin this journey. He recognized the look of grief without injury, of loneliness amongst the presence of others. This person has seen a ghost, whether they know it or not.\n\n\n\"I would like to confirm a few details for you before we sign the contract, if you don't mind.\" \n\n\n\"Of course, I'll tell you anything if you think it will help.\" \n\n\n\"We're looking for your sister. 5'7\", shoulder length, wavy brown hair, last seen wearing a floral patterned dress.\" \n\n\nHis client winced.\n\n\n\"Is that correct?\" \n\n\nThere was silence between them. Finally, his client spoke. \"You've obviously done your research. I'm ready to begin looking for my sister.\"\n\n\nLyle smiled, \"Okay. Start this paperwork and we'll get started right away. I'm sure we'll be able to close this case.\" His client's eyes shifted for a moment, a spark of light dancing across them, then they took the pen from the desk and started signing the documents. Lyle looked up from the documents, his smile fading. It would be solved, this he knew for certain. He glanced up and to the right of his client, into the eyes of a young woman with shoulder length brown hair. She was wearing a floral pattern dress and looking down at his client, a look of longing in her face. Her hand was on the chair, though it penetrated it's surface as she quivered.\n\n\nThe girl looked at him, pleading with her eyes. Lyle simply nodded and looked back to his client, whom he was dedicated to helping find closure, beyond the legal requirements of his contract as a detective. He knew the case would be hard, but he also knew that there was nobody in the world better equipped than he to bridge this gap between life and death. \n\n\n****\n\n\nI had to rush the ending because I'm going out to see a movie with the girly, but I want to write a bit more on this. Please give me comments and criticisms to improve the writing and thanks for reading.", "\"Cas,\" said Jane. \"Cas, where are you?\"\n\nShe walked a little farther down the corridor.\n \n\"Cas, come on,\" said Jane. \"I'm going to get caught.\"\n\nA corporeal head poked out of the door that Jane lent up against.\n\n\"It's not done yet,\" said Cas.\n\n\"What?\" said Jane. \"You've been in there for ages.\"\n\n\"I know, I know,\" said Cas. \"But, i'm your crime photographer right?\"\n\n\"You're supposed to find clues and document them,\" said Jane.\n\n\"Yes, that's what I said,\" said Cas. \"Your Pro Crime Scene Photographer.\"\n\n\"Err,\" said Jane. \"I think you're getting a bit too into this.\"\n\n\"It's just that the light in here,\" said Cas. \"It's so dreary.\"\n\n\"You're supposed to get a photo of the documents in the safe,\" said Jane.\n\n\"Don't yell at me!\" said Cas. She disappeared back through the wall.\n\n\"Mistress,\" said a voice behind Jane. \"You shouldn't upset young Cas like that.\"\n\n\"Damn,\" said Jane. \"Don't scare me like that Ezekiel.\"\n\n\"I'm sorry mistress,\" said Ezekiel. He floated half way out of the floor beneath her. \"But, something has happened back at the office.\"\n\n\"You're supposed to be there, looking after it,\" said Jane.\n\n\"Well I was,\" said Ezekiel.\n\nAt this, Cas peeked out from the wall.\n\n\"What are you doing here Ezekiel?\" said Cas. \"I don't need your* help.\"\n\n\"I know that lady Cas,\" said Ezekiel.\n\n\"Have you got the photo yet?\" said Jane.\n\n\"I still don't think the lighting is right,\" said Cas.\n\n\"It's a magic ghost camera,\" said Jane. \"It doesn't need lighting. That's-the-whole-point.\"\n\n\"But, but,\" said Cas. \"It's got to be pretty. You like pretty things.\"\n\n\"We just have to be able to read it,\" said Jane. \"Go on now.\"\n\n\"Mistress,\" said Ezekiel. Jane turned back to the old ghost. \"We have a serious problem.\"\n\n\"What now?\" said Jane.\n\n\"A man came to the office,\" said Ezekiel. \"He saw me.\"\n\n\"What do you mean he saw you?\" said Jane. \"Could he tell?\"\n\n\"Well, you see,\" said Ezekiel. \"I was taking a call.\"\n\n\"You can't take calls,\" said Jane. \"How many times have I told you? The phone does weird things with you guys on the end of it.\"\n\n\"I've got the hang of it,\" said Ezekiel.\n\n\"Sure,\" said Jane. \"Sure you do. I hate to think what that poor client was hearing on the other end.\"\n\n\"Anyway,\" said Ezekiel. \"I was taking a call. This man rushed into the office. Luckily, I was at a desk. I didn't move, so my the nature of this body wasn't readily apparant.\"\n\n\"So, he didn't catch you,\" said Jane. \"That's good. I'm not sure how I could explain away a ghost answering my phones.\"\n\n\"Well,\" said Ezekiel. \"About that. He started shouting some very confusing things. Something about bringing balance back into the world. I didn't know what to do. That's when it happened.\"\n\n\"You moved?\" said Jane.\n\n\"He shot me,\" said Ezekiel.\n\n\"Oh,\" said Jane. \"The bullets went right through you...\"", "\"Okay people look alive, we got a good one.\", I walk into the office.\n\n\"Alive? Really Bob?\"\n\n\"You've got no respect for the dead, or the elders.\"\n\n\"I hope you find someone like you after you die.\"\n\nBill, Simone, and Jackson blurted out in unison. \"I see you rotting corpsless people do not appreciate a good sense of humour\", I chuckled. \"But get serious now. We got a government case.\"\n\n\"Finally, something worth my time.\", Bill was cocky as ever, adjusted his glasses and glided over to take the file off my hands.\n\n\"Turn it down! Those government good for nothing rats!\", Simone was still angry because the government did not acknowledge his death as a secret agent in the 90's.\n\n\"Should be fun\", Jackson was my best bud out of the three colleagues, died just a few years ago in a gangwar. He still had all the knowledge of the street you could need.\n\nTogether, these three made my B&G detective corporation something even acknowledged by the damn government.\n\n\"Uh oh\", Bill sounded worried.\n\n\"What is it? It's supposed to be a serial killer, leaving some marks on the bodies, probably trying dark arts or something. Easy stuff\", I went to sit on my desk. Looking at the place which seemed like an actual graveyard now. We needed a renovation.\n\nSimone and Jackson went over to Bill, and had the same scared look after seeing the file.\n\n\"Tell me anytime\", I was worried now.\n\n\"Well\", Jackson started. \n\n\"That ain't no one 'trying', Simone shouted out. \"That's what is put in every ghost's mind when they become a ghost. Those are actual summoning symbols.\"\n\n\"And bad ones at those\", Jackson looked scared for the first time ever since I met him.\n\n\"They are not something an amateur symbol.\", Bill took over, \"they can only be drawn by someone with demon level skills, if it's a human...then well good save us.\"\n\n\"Whom do they summon?\", I asked trying to keep my cool as I felt a sweat drop going down my nape.\"\n\n\"The devil\"", "\"The body is right in there, Detective\".\n\nThe officer held the door open for a younger man, averting his eyes from the grim scene from within the apartment. Detective Jason Marks, relatively new on the investigation scene but an instant celebrity among the policing industry; his incredibly quick and thorough solving of all his cases had earned him his rightful place among the best. Without so much as a glance at the officer, Marks strode past and simply gave a short grunt. Marks never was a fan of other people. He had not a single friend or acquaintance, and kept little contact with his immediate family. Jason's true friends were the dead who had been with him his entire life. Stories through time have painted a very black and white picture about being able to see ghosts. Some have praised it as a holy gift, others have cursed it. Marks had been born with such a gift, and was of neither opinion. The dead whom had spent time with him had given Jason a plethora of knowledge and support, likely due to the lack of real parenting he had received as a boy, and may be the reason why he sees no reason to become close to anyone living. Being able to work with spirits to solve murders and crimes brings a fat paycheck and a celebrity-like status to his name, and he was quite happy being in such a spotlight.\n\n\"Damn, poor girl probably 'ad no idea what hit her....\" came a gurgled voice from behind Marks. A tall, discoloured figure drifted from the doorway, gliding past the officer who had not a clue what horrible image of a man had passed him. Wallace Gates, Jason's closest companion and partner in his detective work. Gates had died almost seconds before Jason was born into this world, dying in hospital and having drowned on his own blood and fluids only floors down from the maternity ward. Through some unknown force or because Wallace simply had nothing better to do with his death, he saw fit to become Jason's haunt. What he didn't expect was Jason's ability to see and interact with him, and certainly didn't expect how quickly Marks took to being his friend. After this, Gates decided to befriend the young boy, and the rest is history.\n\n\"Anything you can pick up from this?\" murmured Jason, staring intently around the room, a decapitated corpse of a young woman strewn in the middle. Her neck was cleanly cut at the collar line, and her body was bruised and torn to shreds. 'Still not the worst I've seen', he thought to himself. As he scanned the small apartment, he couldn't see any signs of forced entry or even a struggle. The police before him had meticulously dusted for prints, hair, anything they could use to find a suspect. With no evidence to be found, they had called in Marks. \"Nothin', I ain't getting any vibes in the least from this. I'll get Oaks and Chang on this, 'ave em go around the block and ask some of our folks\". The area was a bustling inner-city residential not just for humans, but for many lost souls who had nothing better to do than watch the world. \"Maybe they'll find someo----\", Gates suddenly froze and choked. Marks quickly turned in confusion. He was used to Wallace's gruesome appearance, his blue and purple face contrasted by the two wide bloodshot eyes, but to see Gates like this, almost with an expression of dread and fear, gave him chills.\n\n\"What is it Gatesy? Is the culprit here?\". Jason was now a little bit fearful himself. Usually when he finds the suspect, he has the police in toe, an entire squad, depending on the size of the person. He was little more than 5\"8, meek and skinny, a slim chance in a fight. Wallace certainly would be no help; the dead can't touch the living.....well, expect for Jason. He was still focused on Gates' terrified face, whom had now locked his eyes to the corner of the room. \"It's him.......\" he gasped, wheezing horribly as if he had seen something more truly horrific than death itself. From there, a dark shadow began to form, chilling the air and striking a sharp pain into Jason's skull. The previously silent apartment had now been filled with a demonic rumbling, the shadow growing even larger and moving slowly towards Jason. The blurred edges began taking on a form, inhuman and terrible. A clawed hand reached out at him.....\n\n\"Run mate!\" shouted Wallace, suddenly snapping out of it. In an instant, he dashed over to Jason, blocking the entity and stopping it's hand. The creature roared, slashing at Gates, tearing through his ethereal body and causing him to explode into a spectral mist. Crying out at the loss of his closest friend, Marks was suddenly blinded by an incredibly blind light, originating from the middle of the cloud that had been Wallace. Without his sight, Jason sprawled onto the floor, covering his face. An ear-piercing shriek blasted his hearing, and he blacked out. When he came to, the same officer who let him in was now bending down next to him, paramedics nearby rushing over to them. \"I heard a massive thud, came in and you were passed out on the floor. You all good, boss?\", the officer said checking Jason's pulse. Jason started back at the corner. The black figure was gone. He remembered seeing Gates being attacked, and neither he was in the room. Jason crumpled into tears. His best friend, his only real family, gone.\n\nAs he was wheeled out into the ambulance on the gurney, Jason noticed a distinct lack of spirits, only humans. No Oaks or Chang, nobody else besides the crowd of people watching intently from behind the police tape. His gift was gone.", "Rain trickled down the windows and thunder and lightning crackled in the distance, a fitting start to a bad day. It was a line of work that I had gone into and was a choice that I had made. Didn’t make it any better. It didn’t make it any better. It started with the bathroom door locked. Knocking didn’t do anything and so I had to unlock it with the key in the hall. The mirror was fogged and the sink was running, but it was empty. I shit, showered and shaved and stumbled down to make myself breakfast. Coffee was ready for me already. I made a bowl of cereal for myself and looked around. I was alone at the table for the moment. Nobody was out and about just yet and I appreciated the moment of silence.\n\nI can’t see them all the time. It’s like an old injury hurting in the cold. I was a weird kid. My parents humored me. I just saw pictures of Papaw and could describe him from those. Even though I could smell the Old Spice on his worn flannel and he kept me steady on my bike long after Dad let go. I was pretending to play with my dog Gambit after he was hit by a car to cope. It became less tolerable and less fun and quirky as I grew older. I broke my arm when Alex in fifth grade shoved me to the ground when I told him his mom was with him always and she had her hair again. I got used to it. I had other people I could talk with. Hell, Janet liked me more after her car crash than she ever did when we were in chemistry together. Since I was the only one that could talk with her, she didn’t have much choice.\n\nI knew that I could do something with this. Solve murders and stuff like that, like the good psychics do. But I wouldn’t go up and rub my hands on pictures of dead kids and give their parents false hope. Mainly because I’m just no good with kids. I enjoyed my cheap breakfast in silence with the exception of the radio in the living room flipping quickly through channels. I wasn’t sure that the voices I heard were talk radio hosts or somebody trying to get my attention. The TV snapped on suddenly and loudly. Cartoons. I swore and stood up before slouching to the living room. My neighbors knew me as the weird cop who stayed up at weird hours talking to himself and I’d gotten plenty of noise complaints from them. Turning the TV off I turned back to the kitchen table and heard soft humming in the sudden silence.\n\nA girl sat at my seat at the kitchen table, humming and kicking her legs, looking down at my half eaten cereal expectantly. She couldn’t have been more than seven with brown hair twisted into tight braids. I cleared my throat and she turned around suddenly. A startled noise escaped me and I fell back against the doorframe to my kitchen. Half of her face was a mess of bruises and cuts, her lip split and pulled back to expose teeth, and she looked at me with her good eye. She was wearing night dress that had blood covered in it. My heart sank as I approached her and held out my hand. She didn’t take it and so I let it fall to my side limply. I didn’t know what to say and the silence was broken by another voice.\n\n“Oh, sweetie,” a thin, raspy voice rang out in the kitchen. Papaw sat next to her and pushed her hair back. “Who did this to you?”\n\nShe shot me a quick look before whispering in his ear. His eyes behind his glasses darkened as I sat down at her other side. I couldn’t hear what they were saying despite her being so close. Sometimes they could shut themselves off to me for privacy’s sake. I didn’t mind. Papaw patted her hand and shooed her back to the living room to watch TV. At least it was quieter this time. I set my chin in my hand, eyes losing focus as Papaw sat in front of me with an eerie silence. He looked more upset than I’d ever seen him before and he ran his hands over his face.\n\n“What happened?” I finally asked. “I need to know if it’s been reported or if she just...just recently…”\n\n“She said her dad came into her bedroom and tried to-” he faltered as he spoke. “-well. She fought and yelled and he hit her and hit her and tried to choke her. She said she went to sleep and woke up in a bag that smelled, tried to get out then fell asleep again. And woke up here.”\n\nIt was later in the day when I got the call. A little girl’s body was found when a couple of homeless people dumpster dove. It was still raining as I arrived at the morgue. Her tiny body was covered with a sheet. The coroner was one of the most stone stomached people I had ever met and she looked like her hands weighed ten pounds as she moved it. Both of the little girl’s eyes were closed, one closed naturally and the other one swollen shut. Her lip was split and curled back to show teeth with bruising on her throat. She had brown hair that was twisted into tight braids. The only evidence they had taken was her bloody nightdress and the bags she was found in. She had been put in multiple bags and the first two had been clawed through as she tried to escape.\n\nAs I stared down at the body, I felt a small hand slip into mine.", "\"Jerry, how's Coleman looking?\"\n\nJerry, a friendly enough guy with a large shard of glass through his face, responded \"The guy is definitely hiding something. He sends a check to some place in Minnesota every week. Have you found anything about Jerry Jr.?\" \n\nI looked at my computer screen. A file on my desktop named 'Jerry Jr.' stared at me. I found Jerry Jr. about a week ago. He was living in a house inherited by a one Jerry Bingham. \n\nI looked at the other side of my office at Victoria. She was a nice enough old lady but had dementia when she was alive. The normal memory loss of dead people didn't do anything to help that dementia. Jerry was the best one that was currently around. Well, the most coherent at least.\n\n\"Nothing yet. But I'm waiting for that file to be sent from the Superior Court. Shouldn't be too much longer.\" I felt bad lying to Jerry but I've been running myself ragged my entire life helping these damn ghosts find peace. \"Keep your eye on Coleman and see if you catch him on a phone call or something and when he writes that check do your best to get the address.\"\n\nGhosts were useful for following people because they were, well, ghosts but they definitely weren't one for the fine details of living people. Or remembering addresses.\n\nJerry sighed, \"Of course. Courts are slow moving as hell...no pun intended.\"\n\nI laughed, \"I'm surprised you still have a sense of humor after a foot long chunk of glass went through your face.\"\n\nJerry kept laughing as he phased through the wall of my office and started floating across Washington Street towards the Chase Building. He would just float around the 7th floor until he saw Coleman again. Thankfully it was only 2pm and Coleman should still be working.\n\n\"Honey-bunches, could you close the window for me.\" Victoria spoke from the side of my office.\n\nI looked at the window. It was closed.\n\n\"Of course Vic.\" I was still looking for what happened to Victoria's husband. It was pretty much the only thing she had expressed any desire for me to find. I remember that's exactly what I was doing before Jerry showed up and opened back up the list of death certificates for Maricopa County.\n\nHopefully I don't have to pretend to close too many more windows.\n\nI know you said that they had to be his only friends and I hope you didn't mind the change\n\nr/cawdor23" ]	7
	[WP] A great question with a simple answer.	[ "We sat there, he and I, huddled in the dark and on opposite sides of the remains of a room in what may have once been a very warm and happy house. Neither of us had said a word to each other, and we had never met before this night. \n\nBut I knew him, and he knew me. \n\nThe two lightning bolt like Ss on his collar, and my tattered uniform - stripes from neck to ankle - decorated only with a gold star sewn to it informed us both of all we needed to know of the other. \n\nI'd escaped the grasp of other men just like this one, different men, but all the same in the end. I'd run far, so far... only to end up here. Seeking shelter from the cold and the rain. He must have been doing the same, else I don't know why he didn't just haul me back to where he believed I belonged. As it was, all he did was stare. And I stared back. \n\nI contemplated my near future, unable to do much else. The weather would clear, and day would come. He would do what he was trained to do, and I would be either dead or back in that place before the sun set. That place. \n\nDear God, I thought. How could you?\n\nI wanted to be brave. I wanted to display a measure of stoicism that my likely dead family could be proud of as they looked down on me. Or maybe they weren't dead, and I was a coward for wanting to live anyway. Maybe I didn't want to live. If this hell ever ended and I survived it, my eyes were now wide to how precarious one's position, whatever that position may have been, was. Impossibly wide, for the images danced cruelly before me even when my eyes were closed. \n\nI shivered from the cold, but I shook from the exhaustion of defeat and fear... and I took in one deep breath. \n\n\"Why?\" Was all I managed to ask, not even quite sure what I meant by it. \n\nThe man, for he was just a man, leveled his pale gaze at me, and what I saw there frightened me more than pure hatred or disgust may have. What I saw was... nothing. \n\n\"Because I was told to.\"" ]	1
	[WP] You wake up in the morning and everything is 100% normal except it’s the year 1970.	[ "We left Steve’s house and surprisingly, no one was drunk. Ash had just gotten her driver’s license and somehow convinced her older brother to let her borrow his 2006 Toyota Corolla. All we did that night was played 20 questions and sit around eating cheese puffs. And we kind of explored Steve’s garage. Okay don’t get me wrong, most garages have boring stuff in them but Steve’s garage, at this moment in time, is full of his dead grandmother’s junk. Which was pretty cool. \nWe got bored of 20 questions pretty fast so Steve, Ash, Monica, and I were trying to think up something to do on this boring Saturday night. Monica and I were complaining about school and stupid it was that teachers were refusing to let us use our laptops in lecture. Like lady, I know you have a PhD in criminology from Stanford but this is Pierce Community college and an intro to Deviant Behavior (an interesting topic don’t get me wrong but when a teachers drones on, and on...). And then Steve just drop a bomb, \n“Our garage is full of my Nan’s shit. You guys want to check it out?”\nDo we want to check it out? Does a bear shit in the woods? A bunch of bored 18 year olds on a November Saturday night with no alcohol and a almost empty bag of puffs. We crept into the garage. \nFirst thing I noticed about Steve’s parent’s garage: it smelled like dust. Not garage dust but old lady and stale alcohol with some cat hair thrown in for good measure dust. He flicked on the light. \nThe garage was actually full. Of junk. A torn, plastic covered sofa, end tables with half an inch of dust and some thumbprints from when it was moved, weirdly shaped lamps, a coffee table with a multitude of rings from drinks long past. And about 30 boxes of old newspapers. No exaggeration, I actually lost count at around 27. \nSome of the lamps were pretty cool and I’m sure I could YouTube a DIY video about fixing up an old coffee table, my mind was spinning with ideas about this gold mine of gross, dusty old furniture when Ash spoke up, \n“Your gran was pretty obsessed with this Robin chick.” \nSteve of course had no idea,and didn’t really care anyways and he had already pulled out his phone to scroll through something in defeat. It was up to us to investigate. Inside boxes were copies of the same newspaper with the front page reading, “Missing Girl Sought.” It featured a pale, dark haired girl who was maybe 19ish and what might have been her parents. I started reading the article aloud, \n“Robin Ann Graham missing since November 15, 1970 aprox. 2:30 a.m. Location: southbound Hollywood freeway near Santa Monica Boulevard. Graham has been missing for more than a week now and her parents are pleading the public for any information related to her disappearance. Graham is a student at Pierce Community college and works locally. An unidentified Caucasian make in his mid twenties was the last person to see Graham before she vanished. Please relay any information to the Los Angeles Police department.”\nThat shit was creeeepy. I had goosebumps on my arms and the full attention of Ash and Steve. Monica pulled another newspaper from a box with the title, “Zodiac Killer Linked to 2 Student Deaths.” \n“Oooh guys, I think Steve’s gran was a little obsessed with this thing, this box is full of Zodiac Killer articles.”\nI was out. Clowns, Spiders, and Serial Killers are not my jam and this was all too close to home to be comfortable. \n“Hell no guys. It’s too late to read about killers and girls disappearing into the night. I want to go home and sleep and not think about this. At. All.” \nI said. \nAsh mumbled something about being a party pooper and shook Steve awake and Monica put the newspapers back in order. We went back into the house and packed up our stuff and headed out. Ash, Monica,and I left Steve’s around 3:00a.m. which was too late/early for me. We dropped of Monica and I asked Ash if it was cool if I stayed over at her place cause it was so late, she was cool with it as long as we didn’t wake her parents up, so I went home with her. \nAsh and I quietly snuck in and were greeted by her older brother who was still up playing some video game. We got into her room where I promptly looted her pajama drawer and crawled into bed. As we were falling asleep Ash said, \n“I stole one of those newspapers, you know the one with the article about that Robin girl.” \nI was shook, but also not really. Just really tired and grumpy. I told her I didn’t care and hope that Steve’s gran doesn’t curse her and then fell asleep. \nI woke up to a heater blasting, a sticky Ash next to me, and the color orange. I rolled around and glanced at my watch where the time said 11:45. That’s weird, we slept until almost noon and Ash was still passed out. Wiping the sleep out of my eyes and realizing the surrounding colors I came to a conclusion: we were not in Ash’s room. \nWhich freaked me out. \nI shook Ash awake trying to get my log of a friend to wake up and smell the shag carpet. The room was exactly the same setup as the room we fell asleep in seven hours ago; the bed in the corner, window above the headboard, small dresser, closed closet door, and huge oleander tree outside the window. However, her new bedroom walls were paneled in pistachio and cream and the beige shag carpet was at least three inches thick, I was also pretty sure there might have been a lava lamp in the corner of the dresser. The orange chenille blanket on the bed was burning hot and I was sweating. I habitually reached for my phone to post something somewhere about this being a joke but of course it vanished. Ash finally started to roll over and grumbled about the temperature. Other than the heat and my phone being gone, everything seemed fine. ", "\"Is that a Ford Cortina?\" said James.\n\n\"It's a car,\" said Lucy. \"I have no idea.\"\n\nJames and Lucy stepped onto the street from the flat they shared. A dreary vintage car rolled sedately along the street.\n\n\"I'm pretty sure my grandfather had one,\" said James.\n\n\"So, what?\" she responded.\n\n\"Well this whole street is full of them,\" said James.\n\n\"There's probably an antique car show around here,\" said Lucy. \"What are you getting all weird about?\"\n\nThe few bays that lined the street were filled with older models.\n\n\"Somethings not right,\" said James. He scratched his head and looked about.\n\n\"You're imagining things,\" said Lucy. \"Let's grab a coffee.”\n\nThey marched to the end of their block, and ducked into the store on the corner.\n\n“One medium hazelnut latte, and a small americano,” said Lucy. “To go.”\n\nShe rustled in her bag for a moment and pulled out a long leather wallet. James tapped her on the shoulder.\n\n“Luce,” he said. “This isn’t Starbucks.”\n\nHuh?” began Lucy.\n\n“What are you up to miss?” said a grizzled man in an apron. “Can I help you with something?”\n\n“No, no,” she said and stepped backward away from the counter. “I’m… a vegetarian.”\n\n“Oh,” said the man. He felt the weight of a cleaver in one hand before bringing it down with a thud in the joint of a chicken. “I’m sorry. We don’t really cater for vegetarians being a butcher and all. Is it for your husband?”\n\n“Oh, no,” said Lucy stammering.\n\n“Your father then?” said the butcher.\n\n“Let’s get out of here,” said James. He dragged her by the arm out of the door.\n\n“What the hell was that guy’s problem?” said Lucy.\n\n“More to the point,” said James. “Since when has this been a butcher’s shop?”\n\nThe stood on the corner looking up at the faded sign.\n\n> Cartwright’s & Sons Butchers\n\n“It looks like it’s been there forever,” said Lucy. “What’s going on?”\n\n“Come on,” said James.\n\nHe motioned with a flick of his hand, for them to head back the way they had come. The two hurried to the door of their apartment building.\n\n“What’s going on here?” said James.\n\n“Are we on the right street?” said Lucy.\n\nThe building ahead of them had no single door, one face of it entirely was covered in the heavy shutters of a mechanics forecourt.\n\n> Barry’s auto repair\n\n“Where’s the apartment building?” said James. “This is creeping me out Luce.”\n\n“I don’t have any cell reception,” said Lucy. “Check your phone.”\n\n“I don’t either,” he responded. “I don’t either.”" ]	2
	[WP] A day before the Earth is destroyed by a collision with a rogue planet, time freezes. You, a completely normal person, are untouched and cannot die. Text on your arm appears that reads, "however long it takes, save us". You have an eternity, time resumes only when you are done.	[ "At first, I denied it. “No way,” I thought, “I must be on some sort of gameshow. Or there was something in my drink. Or it’s a dream.”I was like that for about a day. \n\nThen, I embraced it. I did all the things I thought of doing but never had the guts to do. I drank so much I blacked out three days in a row. I drove a race car. I couldn’t possibly list it all here. \n\nBut now..... Now, I want to end it. I’ve been trying for.... God, how long have I been trying? The sun is always out, time has stopped.... If I only had another person to do this with.... but I hope this works. I’ve been studying and learning how to make this, researching, and experimenting. If this doesn’t work, I may as well give up. My plan is to deploy a robot programmed to go to the rouge, deploy, and start dismantling it little by little. Sending bags of debris deep into space, away from us. If it works, and time resumes, then I’m going to be done. That’s why I’m writing this. So that people know what happened.\n\nIt’s been a long time since I’ve touched this, but I know it’s working. There’s a canyon on the planet that wasn’t there before. Well, the rest of you better do good now that you’ll have a second chance. Go and cure cancer or something. I don’t know. All I know that is that I’m glad to be done with this hell of a life. \n\nThis is Alice Davies, signing off. \n————————————————————————\nWell, that was my first attempt at something like this! I hope you all enjoyed (if anybody has read this). Any and all feedback is appreciated!", "How long is an eternity? That's a silly question, and rightfully deserves a silly answer. Infinite.\n\nI looked up, as I did at the start of every 24-hour cycle. A massive, misshapen, spherical rock invaded most of the sky. Scientists called it a rogue planet, and it had dislodged from the asteroid belt and embarked on its journey toward us. Hours before its collision, everything stopped but me. Now it hung above me with imagery you'd expect out of a fantasy movie.\n\nMuch like I did after emerging from my slumber, I checked my watch. Still ticking, after some initial fumbling after the event. Then, I check the text on my arm, \"however long it takes, save us.\" I had no idea the depth of these words that appeared on me once time froze. They really wanted me to save them. For countless days, I tried. Days of course, meant 24-hour cycles. I had been looking at the sunset sky for, what I assume was, decades.\n\nMy new home was in NASA headquarters. And my first few years were dedicated to finding my solution in science. I was a chef, so it was tougher than I first anticipated. Thankfully, data was easily available as you can imagine. The frozen, unmoving bodies of scientists showed much animation and terror in their expressions. They had countless files, countless plans open. It took me some time, but eventually I got the gist of it all. Eventually, I reached the same conclusion they did. There was no feasible way to do it. Aside from inventing new technology. Which they had no time to do. I did. But that didn't make it any easier. Endless time to learn advanced technological processes is easier said than done, especially with no one to talk to. So now what?\n\nNASA quickly became invaded by various other texts. I scoured Washington, D.C., looking for books on religion, magic, and other metaphysical sources. Cars worked fine when I operated them, I just had to push the driver aside. Gas would run out rather quickly, and I had freedom to pick, so NASA also became quite the parking lot.\n\nThose next few years led me to the same result. The books I had read led me to become much more philosophically minded. I deemed it useless for saving the world, but it gave me more peace of mind. I was happy with myself, and being by myself. I was single anyway, so, whatever. I had half a mind to ask out one of the engineers though, she was cute. \n\nIt had been seven years. I was no closer to finding an answer. The anxiety of finding someway to save the world was fading. The loneliness also stopped, and a peace settled in. I would occasionally peak under the clothes of the frozen bodies, I ashamedly even hit a few at first to gauge my surroundings. Now I was content with being alone in a frozen world. Even, to a degree, content with the world ending. Or not. It seemed to not matter, and the text remained. Maybe the answer wasn't meant to be found this way. Maybe I had to stop seeking it out.\n\nI stopped intentionally recording time. I put my watch by the doors of the NASA headquarters, setting up a device to keep track of the hours as they passed. Then I left. \n\nI went to every country. Nearly every major city and location of the world. I also learned how to pilot a plane. I crashed only a few times. Thankfully, pain was short lived, and my wounds healed in moments. I also felt no hunger or thirst, as a chef this bothered me. When I ate, it was like eating while full. As I traveled the world, I learned to ignore this feeling and dined on the freshest ingredients. It was as I always wanted. Though, I never expected it like this.\n\nI stayed in these locales for a while. Reading, watching, learning. Some were set in perpetual darkness, which bothered me only for... well, a little while. I learned a lot, understood more, and kept my sanity. I would meditate often, and keep myself in check. I don't know if it was my will, or some supernatural ability granted by time freezing, but I never lost myself for a moment.\n\nI had seen everything worth seeing. Then I saw everything else. Some things in my life before all this I had forgotten. I changed clothes so often, eventually I left my personal identity and belongings behind. I had forgotten who I was. I guess that was irrelevant, as I had changed so much since then. The text on my arm was the only reminder of who I was. The words had gone from a prophecy, to boring, to being ignored, but now it was like a dark passenger. A threat. I had done everything splendid in this world there was to do alone. Now what was left?\n\nI went back to my first location. NASA. There was a device, ticking away. Hours translated into years. Two hundred and three years. Could it have really been that long? Did it matter? How many more times would I live two hundred years? Did it matter? What if I could never save them? Did it matter? \n\nYears passed as I reexamined what NASA had found. I had considered just launching missiles at the thing, but that would kill us all anyway. I could launch myself at it, but what good what I do up there? In the vacuum of space, I would be stuck on that rock freezing and suffering forever. Did it matter?\n\nI had to make a decision. An attempt to start doing something. Nothing felt good enough, right enough. I had spent over two hundred years procrastinating. As I laid out on one of my favorite cars in the new NASA parking lot, I gazed up at the rogue planet. Silent. Nothing. There was absolutely nothing. As there had been for so long. \"Wait,\" I spoke, for the first time in what felt like forever.\n\nThere was a soft blinking green light from the surface of the rogue planet. I sat up, staring. Was this it? Now of all times? Had I snapped? Was I hallucinating? No. I always recovered from injuries, I had to be healthy. But there, plain as anything, was something moving, doing something, without my saying so. How long had it been blinking? How many years of ignoring that rock had it been doing that?\n\nThen it hit me. \"Save us.\" I looked at the text. Then back up to the planet. I stopped caring who had written that on my arm. I assumed it was a cosmic entity. If a human had done it, surely they would have picked themselves if they could freeze time. A deity of some sort made sense, working in mysterious ways and all that. And it made it easy to forget the source of the text, and keep enjoying eternity. No. No it was something living. Maybe even something currently living. Whoever marked me as their savior was living on the rogue planet." ]	2
	[WP] Terrorists release a chemical in the nation’s water supply that makes people love each other totally and unconditionally.	[ "It started innocently enough.\n\nIt was intended as a cure for autism and was painstakingly designed to build empathy and foster emotional connections. The issue that researchers got stuck on, was that no matter how low the dosage, the chemical, which had a pheromonal base, would cause a chain reaction in the brains of complex mammals, which would create more of the chemical, deeper connections, and more and more emotional intensity. \n\nIt, quite simply, worked too well and the feelings of empathy, bonding, acceptance and openness towards others was unfocused, and directed towards everyone - regardless of whether or not the feelings were mutual or returned. The drug created an instant emotional connection and imbalance. Test subjects, rats, bunnies and eventually chimps, on the drug, loved everyone unconditionally, and without an intensive detoxing process, the feelings grew stronger and stronger. Subjects around them, that had not been exposed to the drug, simply couldn’t return the emotion with the same amount of intensity.\n\nBefore they went off the air, CNN had repeatedly shared an amusing clip from the lab which didn’t seem quite as funny now. It had featured an adorable fluffy bunny on the drug, chasing a non-drugged and terrified chimpanzee that it had bonded with. The chimp, a dark and frightening creature, absurdly, seemed terrified of it’s tiny cotton-tailed pursuer. Trying to get away, it had climbed to the top of it’s cage and the clip ended with the chimp, teeth bared and dark eyes wide, reaching imploringly through the bars towards the researcher with the camera, while below, on the floor of the cage the bunny hopped higher and higher - it’s pink nose quivering, it’s red eyes shining, and it’s stumpy and fuzzy forelegs grasping at the empty air.\n\nThe drug had issues and it’s testing on live subjects was put on hold.\n\nUntil God’s Love released their self proclaimed “Love Bomb” into the water supply in Rock Island, IL. \n\nGod’s Love was a group of Christian fundamentalist from a small town named Viola, IL. One of the men in the congregation had been a janitor in the lab that was developing the drug. He’d seen the drug’s effects on laboratory animals, and had overheard laboratory workers discussing the effects and ramifications as well. What they saw as a problem, he saw as an opportunity. A God given opportunity to share God’s love with his congregation. He smuggled a small amount of the drug out of the lab, and exposed members of the congregation to the chemical. They bonded, called themselves God’s Love, and vowed to share the drug’s effects with the world.\n\nA member of the church worked in a water processing plant in Rock Island, IL and he added the remainder of the drug to the outgoing water supply. The Quad Cities would be the New Jerusalem. That’s what one of the members had called in and told a local DJ. Eventually the news stations would play that clip on a loop for a few days, until they went silent.\n\nAccording to one of the last scientists ever interviewed, the cult members had only been able to smuggle out a tiny bit of the drug, literally only a few ounces. But the drug, even in a minute amount, creates more of itself in the brains of complex mammals and in their blood and bladders too. A little bit in the water supply of a densely populated area, multiplied in the bodies of those exposed to it. It made it’s way into the cities’ sewage, the Mississippi and Rock River, and the water tables below the amber waves of grain, the water cycle, the oceans, and then the rest of the world.\n\nThe Love Bomb had been detonated and the world fell hard.\n\nAt first it’s effects were subtle, subtle but cumulative. If any sociologists had been paying attention they would have noticed a sudden drop in violent crime, and productivity, and a dramatic increase in acts of simple human kindness. But nobody was paying attention to statistics and numbers, because everyone had their eyes on different types of figures entirely - each other’s.\n\nIf anyone had been keeping track, they would have noticed something else too, an explosive increase in every disease transmitted by bodily fluids. But no one was paying attention to statistics or larger social trends, they were distracted by the lovely person next to them, and the person next to them, and so on, ad infinitum.\n\nAnd the love, as well as other things, spread wide, world wide - within days.\n\nThe drug was nearly 100% effective. Everyone wants and needs love. I am not immune to that emotion - that need. But, I am immune to the drug, and I don’t like to be touched by strangers.\n\nI am a private person and I work nights with a TV to keep me company. As the world fell in love, I watched the news announcers flirt with each other and listened to their first amused reports of the amorous crowds, I saw the aerial footage of the slick and sweating conga lines that filled the streets of Chicago, IL, and eventually the streets of all the cities of the world. \n\nI saw the media put the pieces together, saw the way the live announcers looked at their guests and each other towards the end. I saw amusement, morph into fear, interest, warmth, smoldering passion, and finally raw and manic lust. I saw interviewers lurch towards their guest. I saw round table discussions between expert pundits devolve into gyrating joint monstrosities of entangled figures, bare skin of different colors, and dozens of flailing naked limbs. I saw far far too much before the stations, one by one, went off the air forever. \n\nFrightened, I’d locked myself up in the warehouse where I work, and stayed there with the lights off for three days as the world burned with passion. \n\nBut I ran out of supplies and while foraging for food I was seen by a dog of all things; a Jack Russel Terrier - a complex mammal. It was a very friendly dog, terrifyingly so, and it chased me to this small and thankfully empty house. \n\nI’ve broke in and barricaded the door. The dog is outside now, panting, barking, and scratching madly at the wood, desperate to get in. His owner, or perhaps a random stranger who loves him - loves everyone, has overheard the commotion and more than just his curiosity was aroused. He is now knocking on, and grinding against, the door, and tugging and fondling the doorknob too, with filthy, grasping hands that are smeared with bodily fluids.\n\nThe man’s lovers have joined him outside as well; it looks like dozens of them - with more approaching every minute. I can see them through the blinds. Small shambling figures materializing out of the darkness, their silhouettes growing larger, and coming closer and closer, seemingly to swell and engorge in the gloom. In the dusk’s fading light I can see that their bodies are slick, pants-less, and even from a distance I can see that their raw skin is chapped, bruised, blistered, and covered in bites and scratches.\n\nSome are looking in the windows now, their greasy palms and faces leaving streaks of mucus on the glass. Through the smears I can see their pursed, blistered lips, kissing at the air, and their desperate staring eyes, wide, hungry, and filled with a terrible and total unconditional love.", "When I first saw it on the newspaper, I thought it was fake. What kind of terrorist would want people to love each other? I guess there’s a first for everything then.\n\nThe weird thing is that nobody in my close group of friends noticed it at first. We didn’t think much of it when Jackie screamed that she loved us with all her being because we all already knew that. We all loved each other unconditionally.\n\nWhat was weird however, was everyone else. Distant students started warming up to the rest of the class, teachers began to voice their appreciation for their students and their hard work, ex-couples got back together, it was all so...weird.\n\nSo weird.\n\nIt was strange to look at the news and see how some leaders had made an alliance or how people were saving animals instead of the usual shootings or attacks. \n\nWas this a better world? Only time can tell. \n\n...\n...\n...\n\nWhy does this feel like a dystopia is arising? " ]	2
	[WP] Due to a botched neck snap, you, an assassin ended up adjusting your victim's spine, curing their ailing back problems. None the wiser, they have hired you as their personal chiropractor out of appreciation. You are conflicted.	[ "I didn’t have a whole lot of time. Man, today’s assignment went really sideways. First, I failed a simple snapping of a guy’s neck. I personally would have preferred a more surefire way of killing the guy, like a simple handgun or a knife. But his wife had requested, more like DEMANDED, that his neck get snapped. It had to be a murder and not a suicide. Something, something, life insurance policy, something, something, suicide equals no payout, something, something, by the end of the week.\n\nSo not only did I fail my assignment, the guy wants me to be his chiropractor of all things because I straightened out his back or something. Ugh. I really don’t care about any of this. But I couldn’t try to kill him right then and there. He would struggle, and I just got this suit back from the cleaners.\n\nSo I said yes, of all things. I made something up on the spot about a new treatment that involves surprise to help prevent someone from tensing up...I really had no idea where all of this nonsense was coming from. What? Do I look like the kind of guy who watches Grey’s Anatomy? Don’t answer that.\n\nI told him that in order to complete the session I would need the rest of my supplies in my “van”. Mainly, I simply needed more time to decide what to do. But on my way out, I noticed I still had the key to the place his wife had given me. I smiled, grateful that at no point do I handle anything that doesn’t belong to me without gloves.\n\n\n\n////////\n\n\nI left the door unlocked. I had purposefully left the living room in a mess. I dropped the key somewhere near a table I had broken. The police would think his wife had killed him. The knife from the kitchen counter did the trick once I spun him around and planted it in his chest. I didn’t care for the look in his eyes. I made it look like there was definitely a struggle, even causing damage, additional injuries, and some bruises to the guy’s body as he bled to death on his fancy shmancy carpet. I am a professional after all.\n\nI sent a text to my employer: “Done. Changed discussion point.”\n\nThere was a pause. “Fine. Another department is in control now.” I knew what that meant. The cops had found the wife’s body.\n\nI vaguely recall being told the reason for that hit. Something, something, life insurance, something, something, suicide means no money, something, something, by the end of the week.", "\"You want to pay me how much again!?\"\n\n\"$5,000,000 sign-on bonus and $1,000,000 per year residuals if you keep coming back.\"\n\nEven if he screws me, I walk away with more than I can ever make for the rest of my life. \"I'll do it.\"\n\n\"Excellent! Can you give me a booster before I open my safe?\"\n\n\"Sure thing!\" I twist his neck again, this time in the other direction.\n\nHe makes a gurgling sound and falls limp to the floor.\n", "Of all things to screw up. Not hacking a computer or a kilometer shot on a windy day. Nope. It had to be something so easy that I stop paying attention. To top it all off, I'm a perfectionist.\n\nSo surely you can imagine my frustration.\n\nI stood there, not entirely sure what to do. He was sprawled on his stomach, his drool ruining his carpet. Well, ruin might not be the right word. One look around his apartment would have told you that his sloppy lifestyle had ruined it long ago. \n\nI looked over his body when he moved. The motion caught me off guard. He's still alive. Damn it! How could I screw up something so simple! I sighed and put my insults aside. There was still work to do. \n\nI took one step forward, about to pull out a knife when he gasped and stopped me dead in my lane, \"Wow! I don't even know how you did it. My back has never felt this great.\" He got up and looked me in the eye. I've never seen anything like it. No one has ever looked at me like that. Awe, absolute joy, but above all else, gratitude. I'm used to terror. \n\n\"I know this is a bit abrupt and I have more than a few questions but,\" he stopped to clear his throat. \"How would you like to be my personal chiropractor? I can assure you that you will be paid well despite any notions you may have gained from my residence.\"\n\nI don't know what compelled me but I shook his hand. It all left from there. \n\n\n////////////\n\n\nI was never a fan of the downtown. Too many people and too loud. Above all else, the smell. How people live down here is beyond me. I arrived at the address I was given. From the outside alone, I could tell that this apartment was much nicer than the old one. \n\nI knocked on the door, a simple double tap. \n\n\"Coming!\"\n\nI sighed. One would have thought that he would be ready seeing as these meetings were scheduled long ago. But who am I to complain? I'm new. A new life, a new home, and no violence. I could get used to it. It's quieter and simpler.\n\nMy reverie was broken by the door opening. On the other side, a smiling face. One I've come to know very well. \n\n\"Nice to see you again! Come on in!\" He turned immediately and walked back in, expecting me to follow.\n\nI could get used to this. I could enjoy this. The quiet. The calm. But I have a job to do. So as I stepped in the apartment, the knife handle never felt so right.", "... Turns out a lifetime of breaking people leads to a remarkable talent for fixing them up.\nMy name is James Bonelle - or you may know me as Jimmy Bones, miracle doctor. \n\nIt all started with a fellow named Bensnict Cucumber... Or something like that. My employer had hired me to kill him for triple my normal fee. I typically try to avoid personal interaction with the target but, for the extra cost, I thought I should make a special effort. \n\nI met him on the train, the 8:22AM to London to be exact. It was the train he always got. I figured I would wait for him to go to the bathroom and then use my piano wire as he moved into an empty enough space. Turns out an easier opportunity presented itself. Halfway through the journey he cracked his neck to the side. \n\"Need some help there?\" I asked him, looking around briefly. The carriage was nearly deserted, it would be simple to snap his neck and leave, pretending he'd fallen asleep. \n\"I'm a chiropractor\" I told him, leaning over and delivering a single forceful twist. An audible crack sounded and I smirked slightly, another easy job. Then, as I got up to leave, the man I just thought I'd killed spoke to me.\n\"That's amazing... Thankyou so much\" \nI was taken aback, that snap should easily have killed him. It was time to leave, this guy was clearly a lot more durable than I anticipated, a sniper rifle would've been a much better call.\n\"Well yes, no problem, I really should be going\" I told him, standing up.\n\nBefore I knew what had happened he had referred me to his friend, a Mr Shaun Lentil, who asked for the same service. I don't know why I agreed but, for whatever reason, I did. \n\nFifteen adjustments later and I'm somehow the go-to for any spinal troubles for any celebrities. The only lingering effects of my time as an assassin is my catchphrase. Whenever I'm working with someone right before a show:\n\n\"Break a neck\"" ]	4
	[WP] The Writing Prompts subreddit is a cover for an archival system for multiversal events. One user finds this out, and now the organization behind the cover operation is on the hunt.	[ "Project Rhythm 0\n\nIt was about 11:30pm and I couldn't sleep so I sit up in bed and reach for my phone. Check my bank account, still broke. Check my email, 0 new emails. Fuck it, load up Reddit. I spend the next hour browsing /r/All when I see a post on /r/WritingPrompts which intrigues me.\n\n\"The Writing Prompts subreddit is a cover for an archival system for multiversal events. One user finds this out, and now the organization behind the cover operation is on the hunt.\" By /u/Pssrby\n\nI have never written a short story but think to myself; This could be a bit of fun. So I get out of bed and head for the Lounge and pull out the Laptop. After about half an hour I have a hacked together piece of fiction that I think /u/Pssrby will appreciate. Here we go, Copy+paste into the comment field, click \"Save\", WHAT? The post has been removed.\n\nI don't want to waste my writing genious to I decide to send him a PM to ask why his post was removed and show him my short story.\n\n\"Hey bud, I see your post was removed, I wrote a short story and would like to send it to you\"\n\nI did not expect what I recieved back.\n\n\"You need to help me!\"\n\nI was slightly confused and though this was some kind of joke or something.\n\n\"Lol, I will help after you read my short shory, ok?\"\n\n\"No time, they are coming. I can hear them in my house, I am hiding in the basement, if they break down the basement door I am activating the Konami code\"\n\nRight then I knew this was serious. If the Konami code is activated in the basement, it will kill him instantly.\n\n\"What can I do to help, what is going on?\"\n\n\"It was true, they are collecting our data, as soon as I posted my WP I got a PM telling me they were coming, less than 5 minutes later I seen them out the window. You need to help me!\"\n\n\"Where are you?\"\n\nHe was 1 town over, I knew I could make it there in less than 20 minutes, I told him to stay hidden and I would message when I am closer. I ran out to my car, and on my way I messaged a friend who lived close to his location and told them I needed to use their Safe Room. 6ft by 6ft room, 4ft concrete walls, that should keep us safe.\n\n\"Are you ok? I am out the front, down the street, can you get out here?\"\n\n\"No, meet me in the back alleyway.\"\n\nI drive around there as quickly and quietly as I can. I see this dark shadow in the bushes next to a fence so I stop the car and they jump in franticly.\n\n\"We have to go get my wife.\"\n\nWe take off before anyone can see us. About 5 minutes later we have picked up his wife from her work, she is confused, he is frantic, and I have no idea what to do, or what exactly is going on. Another 5 minutes later and we are at my mates house, without wasting any time all 3 of us head into the Safe Room. I tell my friend to leave and stay at his parents house until he hears from me.\n\nWith the door closed and locked I can finally ask.\n\n\"What the hell is going on?\"\n\n\"It's true, /r/WritingPrompts is an Archival System for Multiversal Events.\"\n\n\"WTF\"\n\n\"They removed my post and found me, this must be more serious than any of us can imagine\"\n\n/u/Pssrby sits down next to his Wife and looks at his phone. Must be Youtube, he starts playing: Kardashev's The Almanac.\n\nI ask:\n\n\"What are you doing listening to music? What are we going to do, what if they tracked us?\n\n\"The music relaxes me, but if I am going to be killed for uncovering their secret I need to check /r/PartyParrot one last time.\"\n\nWe hear banging, I look up at the monitors and see 4 people in suits smashing down the front door. If we are quiet there is no way they are getting in here.\n\n\"They are here /u/Pssrby.\"\n\n\"/u/Aussie_Scott thanks for your help, but... They just messaged me, they are tracking me, they know we are in here.\"\n\nI look up at the monitors, they are outside the Safe Room. They are laying explosive charges on the door.\n\n\n/u/Pssrby embraces his wife, I stand there looking at the monitors. This is it? This is how I die? The suited men leave the room. Here we go, I close my eyes.\n\nNext thing I know, I am laying on a bed, someone is removing what seems like a headset from my face, the light is bright. \n\nI hear a Dr talking to me:\n\n\"Project Rhythm 0 has been terminated, give yourself a minute to adjust to the light.\"\n\nEdited: Formatting" ]	1
	[WP] A long-lived race has a traditional pet: unintelligent 'humans'. One day, a child finds a stray which seems to be a lot smarter than normal.	[ "Humans never wore clothing. They couldn't open doors or figure out trashcan lids. They were stupid, dumb creatures who couldn't tell their front end from the rear.\n\nUs Ikan were the only intelligent species on this planet. That is what they told every Ikan in school, a common idea accepted as truth.\n\nSo then, why did my son bring home a human who seemed to defy everything I had been taught?\n\n\"Father!\" my son squeaked as he slid in through the door, \"I found a human, may I keep him?!\"\n\nI noted the clothing it wore and assumed my son had dressed it. I couldn't imagine why, it was a long gone fad my parents generation had started. It wasn't the clothing that made me wonder, it was the way the human carried himself. It stood erect and still, scanning it's surroundings with a look of calm but analytical attentiveness. A queer being it was.\n\n\"Father!\" my son continued in his plea, \"I'll take care of him, make sure he's fed and washed.\"\n\nMy curiosity was piqued. \"Certainly. It's good for every young boy to learn responsibility.\" His sister had a human pet and was rather stringent with her lending of it.\n\nMy boy's solitary eye lit with excitement. He turned to his new pet. and wrapped a tentacle around his arm. \"Come on George, let's get you out of those clothes and wash you up.\"\n\nThe human drew back from his grasp, looked him in the eye and said, \"My name is not George.\"\n\nA chill ran through my stomach, \"son, stand back.\"\n\n\"Father?\"\n\nI pushed him back. \"Go to your room, son.\" I waited until he disappeared behind the corner before confronting the human. I towered over him a good few feet, but there was no fear in his eyes. Only defiance.\n\n\"I do not know what you are, but you must leave.\"\n\n\"I'm here for Clarice.\"\n\nSuddenly I realized. \"You're the human pet from next door. How are you-\"\n\n\"Every year, human pets are required to get certain vaccines. This drug causes them to become stupid. I built up an intolerance. Let me take Clarice and go.\"\n\nClarice was the name of our family pet. I reached for the shoulder of this human, \"no I think I ought to take you in. If humans are removed of their intelligence, there must be a good reason.\"\n\nHe stepped back to avoid my tentacle. \"I don't think you're wrong.\"\n\nI blinked, and the next moment, a sharp object was dangerously close to my eye, the human's hand the driving force behind it. In the next moment, the knife passed trough my eye and into my brain. My last thought was that this human was far too clever. How did he know that this was the only was to kill an Ikan?" ]	1
	[WP] It's clear the Prince isn't coming. As the last living dwarf, you must decide whether or not to unplug Snow White's life support...	[ "It's clear the Prince isn't coming. As the last living dwarf, you must decide whether or not to unplug Snow White's life support…\n\nSnow White we all know well, she was a beauty. The story that we were told is a totaled fabrication…. She actually did not wake up from her slumber from a Human prince… She actually was awakened by a dwarf…. The dawaf was one named sleepy. Sleepy was the last remaining dwarf due to a disease caused by the apple poisonion. When he first laid his eyes\n\nOn her he knew she was his true love…. The thing is though, she was in a deep slumber due the poisons apple that was delivered by the evil step mom. The other six dwarfs succumbed to the toxin also. Sleepy was privy to the poison… To be continued \$if you like\$...", "The prince had still not shown his face, Grumpy heard through the grapevine that he had married some chimney type who had lost her shoe. He gazed down at Snow White in the suspended animation pod, her rosy cheeks, and dark eyelashes never twitching or moving a muscle. He suspected that the fairy godmother was the godmother of both, the chimney girl, and the sweet Snow White. He snarled to himself, the godmother must have given Snow White’s prince away. This morning when he woke up and picked up the paper from outside of his little hut, “The Enchanted Times”, he had perused an article that talked about the fairy godmother now diligently watching over some supposed “sleeping beauty”. He laid his hand on the pod and felt tears come to his eyes, all his brothers had since passed away from old age, he was close to following. Grumpy had to decide what to do with Snow White, he either had to pull the plug and let her go into the great unknown with him and his brothers or come up with another solution. He was Grumpy though, he wasn’t Smart like Doc had been, he scowled down at the pod where she lay trying to think of a solution, what would Doc have done?\nHe had Snow White locked away in his cellar where he could watch over her until a solution came to him. He turned off the light and stomped upstairs to his house. He had finally come up with a solution, he wasn’t Doc, he was Grumpy and he could still do something. He stomped to the door and grabbed his boots roughly putting them on his little dwarfish feet. He had to fix this for Snow White, something had to be done, he couldn’t just allow her to die. He grabbed his jacket and his ax and opened the door, when he opened the door the wintery snow that blanketed the forest rushed into the little house almost knocking him and his ax over. \nHe leaned forward heading out through the doorway, he slammed the door behind him and stomped off into the snow-covered forest in search of the fairy godmother who had a thing or two to answer for. The snow would have quickly made his beard white if it wasn’t already white and almost down to his toes. He hefted his ax on his shoulder and headed towards the supposed castle of this sleeping beauty and the fairy godmother. \nIt had taken him a few days, but had finally made it to the castle, he marched up to the drawbridge and used his ax to bang on the huge wooden bridge. He was getting old though and as soon as the drawbridge started to lower he had to rush back to avoid getting squashed by the giant door. Once the drawbridge was successfully lowered he marched across the drawbridge and towards the godmother who waited looking at him expectantly. He marched forward towards the godmother Flora who smiled at him pleasantly, “how’s Snow White doing?” she asked him so sweetly with her motherly charms.\nGrumpy didn’t respond just humphed grouchily as he closed in on the godmother. It seemed at the last second she realized that this wasn’t the usual dwarf she was used to greeting, and she started to back away. It was too late though, with one mighty swing Grumpy lopped her head off and watched her little body fall to the ground. The other two godmothers came flying into the room, as soon as they saw Flora laying on the floor in the puddle of blood they both gasped and tried to flee past the grumpy dwarf, but bloodlust was written all over his face. He chopped them down in seconds and stormed upstairs to the sleeping beauty where she lay. He cut her neck in half with a loud thack and stormed back downstairs kicking the heads that he passed with contempt. He stomped out of the castle and headed back towards home, as soon as he got home he checked on Snow White and patiently waited for the prince to arrive. \n" ]	2
	[WP] The Empire has started conquering new lands to capture more competitors for its Grand Games, which have lasted non-stop for over a hundred years. You are one such captive, arriving before the central Coliseum.	[ "Hatred. Rage. Discomfort. \n\nThese were the emotions that you now felt as the Empire had you in their coliseum, ready to send you to some sort of horrible event. You had little garments, only a rag to clothe you. You were also desperately hungry. That cruel empire had barely fed you anything since they had captured you a week ago.\n\nWorst of all, they had taken you away from your beautiful wife and daughter. You had no idea what they had done to them, but likely it was something unspeakable. You remember your daughter's screams as she was taken away by the guards. You remember the pain you felt watching everything you loved being stolen from you. Even after a week, it still hurt more than any other pain you had experienced.\n\nYou had no idea what sort of crazy \"game\" they were sending you to, but you knew there was no way it could be good. You felt it in the darkest depths of your soul. \n\nBut what would it be? A gladiatorial fight to the death? Some other horrible event?\n\nThe gates began to open as the guards led you to the center of the coliseum, where a huge table was waiting. The table was wooden and looked like it could fit meals for dozens of people. The table had tons of pies on it as well as forks and knifes. Odd, if they wanted to give some food to help the competitors with their games, surely they would be serving meats and fruit instead. Before you could contemplate why pies were there, the announcer spoke.\n\n\"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the 108th international eating competition!\"\n\nThe crowd roared as you went up to the table, stunned at the revelation, along with around 20 other competitors. \n\n\"Each competitor has 20 minutes to eat as many pies as they can. \n They each have a plastic fork and knife to eat the pies with. Whoever eats the most pies is the winner of the competition. Now, only the winner will be set free as well as their families, and will be given a lifetime supply of pies. The rest will be sold as slaves to the highest bidder\" the announcer continued.\n\nYou snapped back into focus again. Winning this eating competition was the only way you could be set free, as well as the only way you could see your wife and daughter again. You picked up the fork and knife, ready to chow down on the delicious-looking pies the moment the announcer began the competition. \n\n\"Now, let's eat\"\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] You meet a ghost on the Golden Gate Bridge.	[ "The wind howled around the towering steel that made up the Golden Gate Bridge. I saw her sitting alone atop the railing, gazing at the moon's reflection in the water. She didn't hear me approach. \n\n\"Hey there.\" I called out. It startled her, but she calmed quickly. \n\n\"Don't come any closer.\" Her voice seemed distant and fleeting--as if the wind itself could carry it away at any moment. Her clothes were tattered, her long brown hair matted and greasy. Yet the wind seemed to dance around her, leaving her presence entirely still. \n\nThat's how I knew she was a ghost.\n\n\"It's alright,\" I tell her. The wind attacks my vinyl sleeves as I raise my palms to the air. \"I'd like to talk, if that's okay.\" \n\nA subtle nod was her reply.\n\n\"I think I've seen you before.\" I was sure of it. Not just from the articles in the papers in recent weeks. Over the last several nights I sat on my boat and watched a shadow drop from the bridge. No splash in the water. The light from the city even shined right through it. My friends said I was crazy, but I knew what I saw. Every night at exactly 3:42. \n\nI glanced at my watch; 3:40. \n\n\"He made me do it.\" Her voice is filled with a pain that makes my stomach turn.\n\n\"He's not here now.\" \n\n\"He'll be back. He always comes back.\" \n\n\"Not any more.\" I recalled the latest article. It was all anyone could talk about. The man had confessed to sins greater than most people could fathom. And he would burn for them. \n\n\"They took the man away,\" I told her, trying to keep my voice from cracking. The wind picked up and nearly threw me off balance; she remained as still as ever. \n\n\"I have to go now.\" Her tears glistened in the moonlight. \n\n\"Please, stay a little longer,\" I pleaded. If I could just break the cycle, I thought.\n\nThe wind came to an eerie stop that sent a chill down my spine. Her eyes met mine and for a moment I felt an immense sorrow that I've never experienced before. It dropped me to my knees. \n\n\"I have to.\" She whispered, and disappeared over the edge. \n\n\"I'll see you again tomorrow,\" I whispered through sobs. \"I'll find a way to bring you peace. I promise.\"" ]	1
	[WP] You are exploring a series of caves under a mountain when you find a large vault door set into the wall. An inscription is set into the door that reads: "Apocalypse came, but we were prepared. Hope lies beyond. 15,683 A.R.L. Epoch II"	[ "Syrenne deployed the wings on her black-and-gold plated suit, landing on the deep cavern floor. Norvi crackled onto the voice comms.\n\n\"Everything clear, S32?\"\n\n\"No one in sight so far,\" she replied, reaching for the SMG at her waist.\n\n\"Can we get a marker for your current location?\"\n\n\"On it.\" The agent opened a holographic map and set a marker down.\n\n\"Thank you. NV2 signing off.\"\n\nSyrenne closed the map and fixed her helmet, walking around, gun in hand. Eventually, the cave darkened to the point where darkness consumed everything around her. She quickly pushed a button and lights emerged from her suit. \"S32, deploying lights. Total darkness.\"\n\nAfter wandering for about an hour, the agent came across a quite large vault door. Reading the inscription, she quickly entered the voice comms.\n\n\"S32 emergency report! Calling NV2! I repeat! S32 emergency report! Calling NV2!\"\n\n\"NV2 in. What's the issue?\"\n\n\"I've just stumbled upon this crackle door, with this crackle inscription. It reads 'Apocal- crackle came, but we were prepared. Hope lies crackle. 15,683 A.R.L. Epoch crackle.'\"\n\n\"S32, you're losing signal. Just one thing, which Epoch?\"\n\n\"Epoch the-\" Syrenne was cut off by a loud, rumbling crack, then silence. She was done for, she thought to herself. She had no choice but to enter.\n\n\"Greetings, Syrenne,\" an overly-sweet voice echoed.\n\n\"H-hello?\"\n\nThe woman belonging to the voice snatched and tossed away the agent's helmet and SMG. \"You see, darling, you've mistaken yourself, traveling here.\"\n\n\"What do you mean?\"\n\n\"Simply put, you're going to be brainwashed. To wipe you of your memories of the future. You're going to be set in our time, the time of the proper lady. Welcome to 1807.\"\n", "Ray checked his surroundings. He was in a forest right next to a mountain. Ray squinted and saw a small hole under a bush, small enough to fit a human. Ray smiled. He has been hunting Black Demon, a man who earned that name by soaking his skin in the blood of those he’s killed. Black Demon was worth a fortune to anyone that could bring him in, alive or dead. Black Demon has been said to wander these parts, seemingly disappearing into thin air when cornered.\n\nRay slowly creeped towards the burrow. He was armed with a pistol, two knives, three grenades, and the newest invention of David Misell, a flashlight. As soon as Ray got close enough, he threw a grenade down the hole. A few seconds later, the grenade let out a muffled explosion. Ray creeped forward and shined his flashlight into the hole. Ray could not see the bottom, but he saw that a ladder was carved into the walls of the hole.\n\nCarefully, Ray began to climb down. Either the grenade killed Black Demon, or he would eventually come back to his hiding place. Towards the bottom, Ray was greeted by a cloud of dust. Unfortunately, Ray’s grenade had blown up the bottom ridges of the ladder. Ray jumped down towards the bottom rolling into the dust below. \n\nRay aimed his flashlight in front of him, away from the ladder. He realized that he could only see dust. He walked forward and immediately crashed into another wall. Stumbling back into the ladder, Ray began to walk along the wall, making sure to keep himself pressed against the wall.\n\nFeeling the wall, he eventually circled into a hallway and walked into it. Eventually, as he got out of the dust cloud, he noticed that there were various rooms that the hallway led into. Weirdly, each room had a table cut out of the rock. “How long did Black Demon spend on this place?” Ray asked out loud.\n\nRay kept walking until he reached a metal plate, blocking his path. He noticed an inscription that read \"Apocalypse came, but we were prepared. Hope lies beyond. 15,683 A.R.L. Epoch II.\" A shiver ran down Ray’s spine. \n\nIt seemed that Black Demon probably did not build this place. If not him though, who did? \n\nRay heard a crash from behind him in the hallway. The crash was quickly followed by profanity. Ray turned around and slowly inched his way forward, flashlight in his left hand and pistol in the other. He saw a man dressed only in dried blood running towards him, Black Demon.\n\n“Stop! Hands up! I got a gun!” Ray shouted.\n\nBlack Demon made no response and fired shots at Ray. Most of the shots missed but one blew out his flashlight. Ray returned fire until his pistol ran out of ammo. As he tried to reload, he realized that his left hand was missing a thumb and threw the pistol and Black Demon. Ray ran away, barely managing to toss a grenade behind him. He heard a scream and slammed head first into the metal plate. \n\nWith both of his hands, Ray desperately felt the plate looking for a lever or door knob, trying to get in. Eventually, his left hand entered a small hole. \n\n“Blood accepted. Door opening now,” a female voice said as the door opened. \n\nAmazingly, there was light behind the door. Ray went in, and the door closed behind him. Ray looked around and could barely believe his eyes. There were machineries everywhere that he had never seen before. He walked up to a piece of black glass placed on what looked like a door. Amazingly, it lit up. \n\nWords began to appear:\n\nYear: 30,126 A.R.L. \nMonth: May \nDay: 4\n\nAs they appeared, a voice read them outloud. “Year: 30,126 years after Raymond Longiton...” Ray gasped and zoned out the rest as he heard the machine say his full name.\n", "The strikes of my stone axe reverberated against the door, rumbling down the square hallways and out into the silent valley below. This was a place of a death, forbidden by our village elders and protected by ghosts... but I knew the truth. This was a place of gods long before we came, and in the halls of those gods lied treasures we could only dream of. \n\nNothing lived outside. No animals, no plants, and no men. After entering the caves, I found the same enchanted fabric on the skeletons hunched against the walls as was gifted to me by my dying grandfather... Rainweave cloth, the clothing of gods that could repel water, blades, and most importantly the warm death. \n\nI found more cloth than I could carry just moments after entering the caves. Skeletons wearing strange helmets and possessing items of untold value and purpose lined the walls; perhaps victims of an ancient war before our time. Glimmering jewelry made of small moving parts... so many treasures to behold and yet I could not bring myself to leave after finding the door. \n\nIt stood ten feet tall and ten feet wide; a perfect circle gleaming with perfection. Perhaps it was the work of a master craftsmen from ages untold, or perhaps it was the door to the realm of the gods themselves. What was clear to me after finding this place is that all the dead, all the gods, and all my purpose led me to this door. This impenetrable door. \n\nI knew I was doomed. The warm death, having been held off by my grandfather's robes, was still heating my flesh. Putting my ear to the door, tears fell as I felt the warmth spread through my cheek. I was not worthy to enter. And yet, strangely, as my vision faded and I lay on the ground to join the ranks of the dead... I heard my axe still hitting the door. But it was not in my hand?\n\nAs the edges of my vision turn to darkness and my eyes began to fall shut, I saw dust rain from the ceiling. \n\nDeath was louder than I was expecting... it almost sounded like a voice...\n\n...\n\n“Get him in here!”", "The cave formation was extensive. Three years of my life had gone into attempting to map out warren of interconnected chambers and tunnels. Every time I thought I was finished, a new cavern revealed itself and I delved deeper. They always felt...wrong to me. Like I was entering an intentionally designed ecosystem rather than a set of naturally formed geological strata.\n\nI pulled out my recorder, \"Log D1051, 10:43 in the AM. The layers of rock continue to confound me. At various points they seem entirely too smooth to be the product of water and this is not an igneous formation. The incidence of seeming shortcuts and switchbacks continues to intrigue. I have studied caves my entire life and I've never seen the like.\" After taking a swig from my canteen, I placed another marker in the ground and continued deeper.\n\nA switch back and a few caverns and I came upon it. The vault. It was almost a strangely relieving when I saw the vault. As if all of the bread crumbs that I had discarded as insanity now created a path directly to this mysterious object. Its mere presence explained so many of the other things I had wondered over during my time in the caves.\n\n\"Log D1051, 12:44 in the PM. I have discovered a large, metal door inset into the stone of the deepest cavern I have yet encountered. It appears to be sophisticated in structure. There is a metal plate with an inscription reading 'Apocalypse came, but we were prepared. Hope lies beyond. 15,683 A.R.L. Epoch II'. It is in English. The origin of the vault and the meaning of the inscription are unknown to me. There is a locking mechanism attached to a flat metal plate. I do not yet know how to unlock it.\"\n\nThe door seemed to be a part of the rock wall it was embedded in. Beyond the door itself, there were no other unnatural objects in the vicinity, excepting, of course, the formations themselves. I knocked on the door, the return sound telling me it was thick and metal but not much else. Finally, I turned to the locking mechanism itself and the metal plate beside it. I reached out to rub away the dust with my hand.\n\nIt lit up. Or rather, the metal began to glow, showing the shadow of where my hand had passed. I drew a finger along the surface and watched as a brilliant blue trail followed wherever my hand traced. Finally, I pushed the flat of my palm against the plate and held it there.\n\nAlmost immediately the glow spread out from under my hand and began to extend across the vault. Moments later the entire vault door was a florouscent blue. Slowly the vault door began to rumble as it began to slide open, revealing a small room with a large table in the center. After the door finished its journey, the table flickered and then projected the image of a man.\n\n\"Greetings, I am the recorded thought imprint of Sa.\" As he said his name, an enormous ancestry tree appeared behind him in the image, documenting his line back a thousand generations. \"The discovery of this vault indicates the imminent arrival of the Barbok Dominion.\" An image of a small creature with two legs, four arms and a smooth featureless skull popped into the view. \"We cannot protect you. We can only provide you with the means to flee.\"\n\nHundreds of schematics flashed by, displaying odd crafts, strange portals and things beyond my comprehension. \"What do you mean, the Barboks?\"\n\n\"The Barboks are an alien race. They have spread for an eon, consuming all those the lie in their path. For all of our technical prowess, we are too few in number to defend our homeland. We have fled. Our survival has come at a great cost, but our apocalypse is past. We have crafted vaults such as these for primitive races that may become the targets of the Barboks.\"\n\n\"Why are you just appearing now? Why to me?\" It didn't make any sense. I was a geologist.\n\n\"The vault appears when a Barbok proximity alarm is triggered. A vault similar to this one has appeared in multiple discreet locations throughout the planet. Two have already been discovered.\" Sa said.\n\n\"Why not just appear in public? Why hide it? Why risk it?\"\n\n\"Because the presence of the vault may instill panic. Knowledge of its existence and what it portends should be the subject of discretion.\"\n\n\"Why not just give us all of the information earlier?\"\n\n\"Because the technology will attract others. Others that seek to eliminate any who pass the light barrier. We appear only as a last resort. Using our gifts will save you from the Barboks, but you will always be hunted. Not by the Barboks, but by them.\"\n\n\"Who are they? What are they?\n\n\"We cannot say. This is our first gift. Find our temple. There will be others.\"\n\nPlatypus out.\n\nWant more peril? r/PerilousPlatypus" ]	4
	[WP] "Sir, you can't just walk in here wearing THAT and demand to talk to the board of directors!"	[ "Security stopped the man at the door. \"Sir, you can't just walk in here wearing THAT and demand to talk to the board of directors.\"\n\nThe man tried to tell them, \"I didn't have time to change into a suit, I came straight from the beach.\" \n\nWhen they continued to refuse, he left, enraged. Shortly afterward, the CEO came down and asked the security, \"Where is my brother? He called me before his phone died and said he was on his way here from the beach.\"\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] You're a superhero in a bank being robbed and everyone is taken as a hostage. You don't have your costume and there are cameras everywhere	[ "The penal system is intended to follow a policy of rehabilitation. That means that when a criminal gets convicted of some crime, it's expected that they stop committing such crime when they return to normal society.\n\nThere's some sort of statistic out there that suggests that in any comic book universe, that rehabilitation almost definitely doesn't work. Though, this is mostly because writers need some sort of way to keep reintroducing conflict and continue creating new issues.\n\nSoundwave, known in private life as Amos Audi, looked up from his phone when he heard the first few gunshots in the bank. He gripped the paycheck in his jacket pocket a little tighter and pushed a pair of earphones closer into his ears.\n\nAt this point, a few of the local denizens were starting to grumble and shriek. In the back of the bank, a tall and well-dressed man was approaching the crowd alongside a group of equally well-dressed thugs wielding submachine-guns. \n\nThis well-dressed man, Tom \"Bad Tommy\" Baddman, had just gotten out of prison for the twenty-seventh time in the past four years. Soundwave had been there to apprehend him about fourteen out of twenty-seven times, personally. \n\nThe young hero sighed and looked up at the corners in the ceilings of the bank. There were cameras everywhere. There were strict policies in the fourteen hero organizations (including the Revengers, the Z-Men, the Z-Force, the Injustice Shmucks, the Justice Shmucks, the Young Whatevers, and the Teen Whatevers) that prevented a given hero from breaking out of their secret identity to fight evil under public scrutiny.\n\nAllegedly, it was a policy designed to prevent villains from being able to target their loved ones. You know, the villains that, once caught, end up breaking out of jail anyway to do whatever kind of criminal wrongdoings they feel like.\n\nSoundwave groaned as the thought of getting into a fight now passed through his mind. It would mean a large pay deduction and he was already struggling to make rent this month. Especially since that car crash last Tuesday, when Magnet-Witch destroyed a city block, ended up totalling his car and royally fucking him over since he didn't have unnatural-disaster protection.\n\nSoundwave looked over to Bad Tommy and shot him a nasty look for the inconvenience he was experiencing. Bad Tommy started to walk over, calling over a few of his armed thugs to follow him in a menacing way that would normally call for a full-page depiction in a given comic book.\n\nBad Tommy started saying a few things. Soundwave didn't care. Mostly out of disinterest and partly because of the deafness. So, he just shook his head and nodded here and there. This pissed Bad Tommy off.\n\nThe robber-boss snapped a finger and the machine guns began firing overhead. The crowd of denizens plus Soundwave ducked their heads to avoid the fire. Babies were crying. Men were crying. Women were crying. A teenage misfit was recording the whole thing on Snapchat. It was business as usual.\n\nSoundwave moved to his jacket zipper. It took about three seconds for him to realize that he was shirtless underneath and had no costume on him at the moment since it was at the home in the busted washer that made this weird sound whenever you ran it.\n\nIt was at that moment, when Soundwave was busy thinking about how shitty his apartment was and how shitty this lame archnemesis of his was and how shitty his life was in general, that Soundwave just stopped thinking.\n\nSoundwave looked at the cameras on the ceiling and realized that with his costume, his identity was always concealed. In public life, Soundwave was Amos Audi, a good-for-nothing freelance writer who was paid what was common for his work, which was very little. He had no friends, no family, and just a single cat named Tammy whom he loved with all of his heart.\n\nIt was a pathetic identity. A waste of an identity. It was the very definition of what you would call a pathetic human existence.\n\nI, Amos Audi, thought this to myself and got up.\n\nOne of the smaller thugs noticed this and aimed his gun at me before pulling the trigger. Due to the wasteful firing from earlier, the thug quickly noted that he was out of bullets. Actually, so were most of the other thugs.\n\nNo one really thinks about reloading when robbing a bank for some reason in the comics.\n\nA few of them tackled me and were pushed off almost immediately. A loud ringing went around the room as the soundwaves in the air cracked and fizzled about.\n\nBad Tommy saw this and yelled proudly at his men to fire before proudly running away. I ran after him. The bank had insurance anyway.\n\nAs I caught up to Tommy, I pulled the earphones out of my ear, allowing my sweaty ear canals to breathe. We were in an allley away from the bank. Tommy started to say some things again as a I read his lips.\n\nFrankly, it was all uninteresting garbage so I didn't pay much attention. I saw the red-and-blue flashing of siren-light around the corner. The police were coming to the bank to deal with the rest of the situation.\n\nI gripped Tommy by the collar. He started laughing, cackling in my face.\n\nI cupped a hand around his ear and fired away a blast of pure sound. There was nobody watching anyway. Sure, the other heroes are going to give me a verbal thrashing when they figure out from the camera recordings that I \"broke character\" and brought out my powers, but they didn't pay me enough to care to start with.\n\nNo, I don't think this whole chase and me deafening a villain is really justice or anything grand like that. I was just annoyed.\n\nI thought about this again. I had acted without thinking. I basically just crippled a human being for annoying me. I could actually get in some serious trouble for that. No, I will get in serious trouble for that.\n\nI focused my attention on Tommy again as I saw him now wide-eyed and asking something about what I'd done to him. His head jerked around wildly. I put my hand on his other ear and fired again. Now, he really started jerking around violently.\n\nI nodded and began mouthing some gibberish at him. I didn't get as much of a rise as I thought I would, so it got boring fast.\n\nSuddenly, I felt something tap at my back. I turned around. It was a police officer in a blue shirt and cap and body armor. He was covered in blood. There must've been a nasty shootout. On the bright side, him being conscious meant he was a lot more competent than most comic cops.\n\nI smiled at him and waved. Then I returned my attention to Tommy. The officer tried to shake me away. But, I'm a superhero. I'm stronger than him. I'm stronger than a lot of these normal people.\n\nI closed my hands around the back of Tommy's neck and tried my best to see if just how badly I could vibrate his spine. After a while, it stopped vibrating. It was like jelly at a certain point. So, I tried again.\n\nThe officer shook me harder. It was getting really irritating. I ignored him. Tommy was already limp, so he might as well just let me have my fun with him since he wasn't going to get any better soon anyway. A few other officers began to flood the alley. The police cars came by. An ambulance was speeding down the street, at least I'm guessing.\n\nNone of that really mattered. I looked down at the pathetic villain and pushed him to the ground. Then, I balled my fists and started punching.\n\nThis was satisfaction. Real satisfaction.\n", "I had a problem. \n \nSo there I was, just minding my own business, trying to cash my check before it bounced, when some moron decided \"Hey, today I'll go rob a bank,\" and now he and about a dozen other people were there waving guns telling us to hit the floor. So there I lay, hands above my head, resting on an ornate railing that divided the teller lines. \n \nNow, I wasn't one of those heroes who needed a costume--I'd just transform and be done with it. However, I had already given my ID to the teller. To make matters worse, I was a regular at this bank, so if I transformed I'd be recognized immediately. The final nail in the coffin was the stupid robber who was vlogging the whole thing. So, I did nothing. \n \nOkay, I didn't exactly do nothing. My powers allowed me, among other things, to turn objects into snakes that followed my will. Thankfully, there was nobody behind me, so I twisted my hand slightly, brushing my fingers against the rail behind me. The rail melted into a cobra, slithering silently away. I repeated this process several more times, creating a small, but elite, task force. As the bandits were distracted with shouting at their hostages and telling the tellers to hurry up, I mentally gave the signal to attack. From seemingly out of nowhere my cobras lunged, sinking their fangs into their unsuspecting prey. One guard yelled, dropping his gun in surprise as a cobra bit his wrist. As my serpentine servants subdued the screaming saboteurs, the rest of their comrades' attentions were drawn away from the hostages and to the still-struggling scandals. I took this opportunity to extend my grasp to the rest of the railing behind me, creating more and more snakes with which to work my magic. The rest of the criminals fell in a similar manner, the manifested cobras striking from out of the shadows. \n \nThe cops arrived to find the culprits correctly constricted, captured by my commanded cobras. As they hauled them away and interviewed the hostages, I silently turned my minions back into the fence. The bank closed, and I went home, satisfied with a job well done. \n \nI got home, relaxing on the couch. I'd go tomorrow to deposit my check--it wouldn't bounce for a few more days, so I was good. \n \nThen I remembered that tomorrow was Sunday, and the day after that was a holiday. ", "I know what you're thinking. 'Just fly faster than the eye can see!' \n\nNope, not that kind of hero. In all truth, I'm not much of a hero at all. More of a government labrat, to be completely honest. For a few years back in the 80s, they recruited old soldiers like me for new rounds of testing on the WWII 'Super Soldier' stuff. Didn't work, really. Okay, maybe it worked a little. You wouldn't know it by looking at me, though. Hell, I just came in to deposit my SSI check. You know that guy in front of you, in flannel, smelling of ointment and Gold Bond? That's me. They got us all huddled in the middle of the room, our backs to the wall, two guys covering us with 10/22s, modified for full auto fire. Yikes. I'll be fine, but the rest of my fellow hostages won't be.\n\nI hear you again. 'You can take them! You can be a hero!' Nah, trust me. It took me 15 years to lose the army types that juiced me up, I'm not about to let it slip that I didn't actually die in that very painful explosion back in the early 90s. \n\nThey're yelling again. Five guys, in their 30s and 40s, going through all the effort of being masked and gloved and still stupid enough to yell, all five of them, perfectly clear voices. Dumb asses. At their preliminaries, they'll probably look dumber when their lawyers explain what 'voice analytics' means. \n\nThe problem here, though, is how worked up they are. They know it's only a matter of time before a hero shows up to save the day. Shit, at this point, I wouldn't be surprised if the cops have them on speed dial. There was a time when cops resented the heroes for making them look bad and irrelevant. These days, cops are mostly guards, taking the bad guys when the heroes turn them over. And since most of the dumb asses wear calling-card costumes and gimmicks, tying them to crimes is easy enough that a first year PA rookie could do it.\n\nWhere was I? Oh. Right. They're on the edge of freaking out. The other hostages can feel it, too. It ain't going to take much to set them off. \n\nLuckily, I have a handful of hard candies.\n\nA boom overhead. For a second, I think it's him, the armored one with the snarky attitude. Then, nope, just a jet flying overhead. Still. It's enough.\n\nTakes only a second to line up the shot and 'plink' a bit of solid caramelized sugar, dyed Red#5, impacts the loudest yelling one, furthest from me, and he's down for the count. I only flicked it hard enough to injure, not kill.\n\nLuckily, none of them notice the recoil of the candy hitting his head, only him hitting the ground. Suddenly, the other four are full-blown shitting themselves, screaming at the hostages and pointing every gun they have on us. Their bags are full, but they can't carry the money 'and' him and they're not smart enough drop some of the loot to keep the crew intact. One breath, maybe two and it's going to go to hell. \n\n\"It's him. He's already here.\"\n\nThat got their attention, hostages, too. These days, these heroes are showing up every week, almost. No one can keep track. \n\n\"Who's already here? Spit it out, you old fuck!\" God, he's on the verge of literally shitting himself. He's excreting so much 'fear' that it's nearly enough to make me nauseous. That's my excuse for what comes next. I was literally fucked up by how freaked out they were.\n\n\"The Sphinx.\" \n\n\"The 'who?!\"\n\n\"The Sphinx, man. He just showed up this week. A psychic of some kind, flies around, you never see him, he just disables people from the shadows. They say he can destroy guns with a thought.\" Screw the critics, I love that movie. Thankfully, these guys never saw it, apparently.\n\nThe hostages? Some of them are staring at me so wide-eyed, it's obvious that they know I'm full of shit. Thankfully, they're all smart enough to let me talk without correcting me in front of the men with guns. To their credit, they also start nudging away from me. Smarter than they know. Ricochets are a real danger to unarmored targets when I'm around. \n\nI don't know if they bought it or not, never will, because it was about that time that the sound of sirens started to fade in. That got their attention for about two seconds as they all started whipping their heads this way and that, taking their eyes off me and my hard candies.\n\nTwo seconds later, all of them are on the ground, unconscious. \n\nTurns out, the cops were chasing a speeder. The tellers hadn't even had a chance to hit the silent alarm. Hilarious. \n\nGood news is that I got out of there 'before' the cops showed up.\n\nBad news is, I'm going to have to find a new branch office to deposit my checks. Because, fuck you, I'm not going to bother learning how to use direct deposit or whatever. Fucking computers. \n\nThat was my day. How was yours?\n\n " ]	3
Examples: Cats shoot lasers out of their eyes, people eat dinosaurs for lunch, people breathe fire when they burp, god lives in a small apartment above a coffee shop in New York City, water is pink, pigs are common household pets, dogs grow to be over 20 feet tall, etc. Edit: I can’t figure out how to change the title. But it should say “Write a sorry about...”	[WP] Something totally crazy and absurd is not only real, but it’s common knowledge and considered normal	[ "I had been a quiet evening. \n\nAfter I got home from my soul crushing job, I just wanted to take a shower and relax. After getting out of the freezing cold artificial rain, I decided to turn on the TV to see what the world was up to. I wasn't a very avid TV watcher (I usually liked to watch silly videos on Vimeo), but today I just had the urge to turn on the old flatscreen and watch the news. Apparently not much had been happening in the last few months, it was just your typical horsecart incident or the occasional messenger Pterodactyl that had been shot down by a tank.\n\nI had been sitting there for about an hour, in an almost vegetative state, watching brainless soap operas, when suddenly a commercial for the latest thumb snacks, presented by the most happy looking Lizard-Lady I had ever seen, interrupted my dozing. More than the snack the expression of pure joy and contentedness with whatever the Lady was doing impressed me and woke me from my daze.\nThen suddenly I realized it... something was off...\n\nAs soon as I realized what that sensation was caused by, my jaw dropped at the pure surrealness before my eyes.\nI had been living a lie all my life. I told myself that I needed to work hard to have a normal life. But this... this changed everything. \n\nThe thing that caught me so off guard and turned my life upside down was the Lizard-Lady. That lady was the person that I had only seen in photographs before. \nShe was my lost mom.\n\nThis is my first story here and I don't quite know what exactly I was writing but I had fun doing so. I hope you liked it :D" ]	1
	[WP] The world believes you have earned the title of Hero. However, you are the clumsiest person alive, and each "heroic act" was merely just an accident. The media, however, has spun it like this:	[ "I remember the first time I found out I was special. I was sixteen. New York City was in its second straight day of a great deluge and I was late for work. \n\nMy mother worked nights. We didn’t have a car, and my income was hardly enough to keep the lights on. But it was necessary and for the third time this week I was going to clock in at 9:15. \n\n“Crap, crap,” I said, my feet pounding on the slick pavement. More than once I bumped a person and hastily begged their pardon, but the rain made it nearly impossible to see. If it weren’t for my old raincoat and the borrowed rubber boots I wouldn’t even be presentable when I finally arrived at work. Assuming I wasn’t going to be fired. \n\nAhead I could just make out the steady white palm of the crosswalk sign fade away and the ten second countdown begin. I ran harder, determined to beat the changing of the stoplights and stumbled into the crosswalk as the orange 1 flashed away. \n\nA kamikaze raindrop hit me in the eye. Instinctively, I reached to wipe the intruding water from my eye ignoring the sound of screeching tires and a horn. I felt the squishy thud of another human hit me in the chest hard enough to launch the poor soul forward, sprawling to the ground with a sickening crash. From my left the tires quit screeching and the car coming through the intersection wrapped around my waist like a weird metal belt and came to a stop. \n\n“Can you please stop honking?” I asked the driver, too stunned to understand all that had just occurred. The now totaled car had collided with me, stopped on impact, and it hadn’t even hurt. \n\nThe poor person I clumsily knocked out of the car’s path was standing up, soaked in dirty rainwater. \n\n“You … you saved me,” she said as she reached out to hug me. \n\n“Uh, yeah. I’m gonna be late for work.”\n\nI stumbled over the lady’s purse and ran. \n\nEnd Part One" ]	1
	[WP] A book character meets their movie adaptation.	[ "It was a chilly October evening, and Harry, Ron, and Hermione were back for their final year of Hogwarts. After a year of hunting down Horcruxes and a climactic showdown at Hogwarts castle, the trio was hoping for the possibility of one last normal year as a Hogwarts student. \nNot that they knew what a normal year at Hogwarts looked like, but they were hoping all the same. They had yet to reveal any plots to kill Harry Potter, so the three friends were cautiously optimistic about their chances.\n\nNonetheless, life went on at Hogwarts, and it seems that Harry's massive fame had finally spread to all of Dumbledore's Army, and especially his \"generals\" Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Luna, and Neville. \n\nAfter 2 months of young students crowding them and asking about escaping on dragons and fighting Death Eaters, it took a toll on them all, which is why Harry, Ron, and Hermione were seeking respite in the Room of Requirement. \n\n\"Blimey, Harry, I can't bel-\"\n\npop\n\nAll of the sudden, there inside the room, appeared 3 people who looked like movie star versions of Harry, Ron, and Hermione.\n\nAll six people Drew their wands.\n\n\"Oi, who're you lot?\" said book Ron, indignantly.\n\n\"We could ask you the same thing.\" said movie Hermione.\n\n\"How did you get in here?\" asked book-Hermione, puzzled. \n\n\"What do you mean? You appeared here,\" said movie Ron, worriedly and confused.\n\nBook-Harry looked at the three Intruders intensely, assessing how they moved and talked. They looked so familiar to him, but more than that, he felt some sort of connection, somehow. Over the years, he had honed his instincts and learned to trust them, and now, they were telling him that he didn't need to fear these familiar strangers. Still, he had to be safe.\n\n\"You. Pretty boy. Name?\" asked book-Harry. \n\n\"Wot?..Harry. Harry Potter.\" \n\n\"What? That's impossible.\" said book-Hermione. \n\n\"Why's that, then?\" said movie Harry.\n\n\"Because that's Harry Potter, right there. \" \n\n\"What? That's impossible.\" said movie Hermione.\n\nMovie Harry stepped in.\n\n\"Really, Hermione? After everything you've seen?\" Said both Harrys at the same time.\n\n\"There you go, Harry. I knew there was hope for you yet.\" Said a new voice dreamily, as they all looked around to see a familiar blonde girl appear out of nowhere. \n\n\"Luna!\" Exclaimed both trios.\n\nFor indeed, Luna Lovegood had appeared in front of them. Oddly enough, both sides immediately recognized her, as it seemed that her appearance had features that they knew of her, but were somehow mixed in with what was presumably the other trio's Luna's features.\n\n\"Hello, everyone. It's nice to see all of you. \" Said Luna. \" I can see that there are a lot of Wrackspurts in here, so let me clear up the confusion.\"\n\n\"We're all fictional characters. You lot, are from a popular book series, and you over there are from the movie adaptation of said book series.\"\n\n\"And what about you? Which are you from? \" Said book-Ron, skeptically. \n\n\"Neither.\" replied Luna, dreamily and mysteriously. \" I'm an almalgamation of all of the fan-fiction Luna Lovegoods, which means I know way too much information about weird or impossible events because I'm supposedly a Seer or a great prophet, even though in both the book and in the movie, I'm simply a bit eccentric. \"\n\n\"Erm...and why're you here?\" asked book Harry.\n\n\"Why, to explain all of this and diffuse the tension, of course. \" replied Luna, oddly. \"Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go talk to a time-travelling Harry Potter and completely catch him off guard by noting how old his eyes look. Nice to see everyone!\"\n\n Luna walks to the door and leaves. Harrys were caught off guard.\n\n\"When Voldemort used Avada Kedavra on you again, who did you talk to?\" asked book-Harry. \n\n\"Dumbledore. Your Firebolt. Who gave it to you?\" said movie Harry.\n\n\"Sirius. As a Christmas present. Went on to win the Quidditch Cup with it that year.\"\n\n\"Wait, wot? I didn't get mine until the end of the year! Why-\"\n\n\"Budget constraints!\" Yelled fan-fiction Luna, cheerily and dreamily.\n\nBoth Rons move off to the side. \n\n\"So, are we really gonna believe ol' loony Luna?\" said book-Ron. \n\n\"Yeah.\" said movie Ron, nodding.\n\n\"And that's really your Hermione? I mean, I'm happy with mine. She's the best thing that ever happened to me, but that's really your Hermione?\" Asked book Ron, incredulously.\n\n\"Yeah,\" replied movie-Ron, grinning.\n\n\"Blimey.\" said book-Ron, admiringly.\n\n\"Yeah.\" agreed movie-Ron proudly.\n\n\"Ronald!\" said both Hermione exasperatedly." ]	1
	[WP] You are a struggling actor. You're ready to give up your So. Cal dreams and move back home to Kentucky when your agent calls and offers a well paying gig. The role? Person suffering from chronic diarrhea in a medicine commercial to be played during the Super Bowl.	[ "“Frank, if you don’t take this you’re done! No casting director is going to so much as breathe in our direction! Don’t be stupid, I’ve been sticking my neck out for you for your whole career, don’t betray me, hell don’t betray your dream here Frank!” Tom shouted through the receiver of Frank’s cellphone.\n\nFrank sighed and rubbed his eyes with his open hand before throwing his hand up in the air and shouting back ,“What career, Thom? The Denny’s job? In-N-Out Burger, maybe? SIGN FLIPPER EXTRAORDINAIRE?”\n\nA woman cupped her hands around her daughter’s ears and ushered her past the bench Frank was sitting on. He shot her a look of scorn and continued, “I appreciate what you’re trying to do for me here Thom, but I’m ready to give up, there are no real roles for me here. I’ve got my bags packed, and my dad’s auto shop back in Kentucky needs a mechanic anyways.”\n\nTom laughed. “You naïve fool, I haven’t even told ya’ the details of this gig and you’re turning me down? And for what? Your ‘pride’ as an actor? A mechanic job in Kentucky?” Tom laughed again. “Listen pal, you can try to convince me, give me the lecture about the ‘real’ roles in Hollywood, but the only thing real about anything here is the money. And the only difference between this commercial and a spot next to DiCaprio is the amount, so all things considered, Frank, this role is pretty much as real as you can get. But you know what, fine, you go back to Kentucky, and you tinker around in your fathers shop with your perfectly manicured hands that haven’t done a days worth of hard labor since you arrived here in LA, go ahead, I won’t stop ya’.”\n\nFrank sat back, closed his eyes, and furrowed his brow. He looked at the soft, smooth pink skin stretched out over the meat of his hand before finally speaking into his phone, “How much, Thom?”\n\n“250.”\n\n“That’s it?”\n\n“Thousand.”\n\nFrank sat bolt upright from his slouched position, eyes wide open with manic disbelief.\n\n“That’s right, Frank. You heard me right. I’ve landed you the chronic diarrhea medicine commercial. It’s going to be aired for the Super Bowl, for a million scouts to see. I’ll send you the script, you only got one line.”\n\n“Thanks, Thom. You need anything else from me, Thom?”\n\n“You just worry about that line.”\n\n“Don’t have to worry about that. I’ll see ya’ around Thom.”\n\n“Wait! My name is Tom, not Thom you daft fool!”\n\n——————————————————————————\n\n“Alright, we’re going to add the narration in post, so I’m just going to give you the signal and you say your line, alright?”\n\n“Alright,” Frank smiled.\n\nFrank saw Tom standing off set, and he shot Frank a confident grin and a thumbs up. Frank just formed his lips into the same smile. He was content, felt as light as the breeze drifting over the hay bails and cow pastures of the hills of Mason County in the warm sunlight.\n\nThe studio lights flicked on over head, like the bright lights of the great Rupp Arena, and suddenly he was driving out of Lexington, watching the scenery pass him by. He headed east, and he saw those great stone walls, built by the Irish in the 1800s, and beyond those he saw the green grass of the fields torn up in little divots here and there, exposing the great brown soil, the soul of the Earth, the place where the tobacco plants called home, and suddenly from a distant place, an old memory perhaps, he heard someone call ”Action!” He saw a great beast, a horse, young and strong, and from it’s great anus the steaming chunks of brown dropped to the grass below.\n\nFrank snapped his head back, staring up into burning lights above, and his lips curled back into a wide toothy smile as the tears streamed down his face. He bellowed to the heavens above, the imposing gods of the Bluegrass, “I’M DIAR-READY!” And his seat soaked as the great chunks exploded forth and flowed steady and fast as the Ohio during April. \n\nFrank laughed, his face filled with life, his eyes with tears, and his soul with vindication.\n\n\n\n\n\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] You find out one day after explaining your nightly dreams to your partner sleeping next to you that she/he is having the exact same dreams as you. I'm fact, they are your sidekick within your dream. You realize that you have the ability to control your dreams if you hold hands while sleeping.	[ "God, was it cool. Being able to control my dreams, I mean. Being able to change them at will, in any way I chose. I could fly, I could run faster than lightning, hell, I could even elongate my dreams over centuries. \n\nThat, last one, I found a bit odd. It was almost as if I could sleep forever, doing whatever I wanted in the meanwhile, but, time still moved normally outside my dreams. I could sleep for years, yet only be asleep for maybe, 8 hours, give or take.\n\nI abused this ability, a lot. Speaking to my wife within our dreams, that way, I could please her. But eventually, it got tiring. Some times, I’d want to live normally for once, however, she kept me asleep, trying to make me do everything for her.\n\nA part of me thought it was cute, seeing her joyful smile, hearing her almost inaudible giggles. But it never occurred to me, what she was making me do. I remember it, in a weird way.\n\nI had been in my dream world for maybe, 4 or 5 years, doing as she wished, creating her perfect fantasy. At first, it was simple. Puppies and kittens everywhere, endless amounts of food for her to eat. But eventually, it turned, corrupt.\n\nThe sky she had worked so hard on, would turn a bloodshot red. These mysterious creatures would be born, ones with small, dark jagged spurs on their heads, horns.\n\nShe even made me change the way she looked, to me, she looked beautiful. But it wasn’t until my final day using my power that I realized, who she had become. Her skin, cracked and red. Redder than a pepper. The horns that were born on her creatures, were now on her. A dark crown, filled with gemstones that shone brighter than the sun. \n\nMy eyes finally opened, and I backed away at the terror I had seen. The “fantasy” world I had created, it was a recreation, a reincarnation, of hell.\n\nI was backed into a wall in her palace, when I heard her innocent, sweet, voice, “What’s wrong, sweetie? Are you feeling tired?”\n\nI shook my head insistently, and placed my hands on her arms. I shut my eyes, trying to wake up. And I did. I jerked upwards, my breathing getting heavier each second. Droplets of sweat rolling down my forehead and down my cheeks.\n\nI looked down, and saw my hand, intertwined with hers, I hesitated for a moment. I let go.\n\nShe bolted awake shortly after, she stared at me, with her pale, grey eyes. She didn’t blink, she didn’t say a word. Simply, she stood up and took slow steps towards the window, and opened the curtain. I fell off the bed at the sight.\n\nHer fantasy world, had come true. \n\nMy wife turned to face me, this time, her horns higher than ever, with a brighter colour. Her cracked, red skin, shone clearly when the light reflected off of it. \n\nI watched a mischievous smile form on her face, as her innocent, sweet voice, turned raspy, and deep. “What’s wrong sweetie? Are you feeling tired?”\n\nGod, it wasn’t dreams I was controlling, it was reality. And I just created the daughter of Satan.\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] you are a perfect empath, you cannot help but feel exactly what those around you feel. It can be inconvenient at times to say the least.	[ "Needless to say, it was a difficult life to live. My feelings of empathy were refined more than any other's, allowing me to feel every bit of the dread or the anxiousness someone felt. If I'm being honest, it was more of a curse than a benefit. Sure, I could relate to others better and yes it helped me achieve a decent career, but the emotional toll was quite heavy to bear at times. \n\nI'd had this ability since I was a child and it doesn't do enough justice to say it helped shape my life. This ability defined my life - everywhere I went my relatability was often praised. All the people I'd meet and helped told me I'd do very well as a psychiatrist; so here I am. After spending a large chunk of my life studying the human brain, I now work as a sole shrink, helping as many people as I can.\n\nMy presence has only been furthered by my patients through social media, drawing more troubled people to my office. The number of people struggling with schizophrenia, suicidal tendencies, social anxiety and a plethora of other things increased. On the outside this was a boon for me but on the inside it was a disease. \n\nIt's becoming very hard for me to keep myself together nowadays. When my patients feelings and emotions pour into me I feel everything - the cuts on their wrists, the tearing discomfort they feel in public, the voices speaking to them in their heads. I can't deny the near future for myself. I know what's coming and I can't prevent it. I can feel my mind escaping from me. I'm beginning to feel distant at times. \n\nMy life was shaped by the ability and will end by it's hand as well.\n\n*\n\nr/TheNinthRanger** " ]	1
	[WP] A couple of weeks ago, I heard my neighbors' cat meowing so I responded with a "meow" of my own. This went on for about 3-4 exchanges until I opened the door and found it was not a cat, it was just another dude meowing back at me.	[ "int. front door of my home - 9pm night\n\n\nA couple of weeks ago, I heard my neighbor's cat meowing so I responded with a \"meow\" of my own. This went on for about 3-4 exchanges until I opened the door and found it was not a cat, it was another dude meowing back at me. he had on a dingy white tee and some camouflage shorts with sandals.\n\nME\n\n\"... Dude. are you serious? I really thought I was fucking with a cat the entire time.\"\n\nOTHER DUDE\n\n\n\"I could say the same thing. what are you some kind of cat impersonator?\"\n\nME\n\n\n\"wait a minute, who are you? i definitely don't recognize you from around the neighborhood.\"\nthe other dude takes a few steps back like he's ready to run. I step a little closer.\n\n\nME\n\n\n\"ah ah ah. where did you come from? are you homeless?\"\n\n\nother dude let's out a deep exhale\n\n\nHOMELESS GUY\n\n\n\".. yeah. I hang around other people's houses and meow so that they think there's a cat and they'd leave me scraps outside. its worked for the while that I've been doing it.\"\n\n\nME\n\n\n\"that... sounds really made up.\"\n\n\nHOMELESS GUY\n\n\n\"I swear, people just leave shit outside if they hear a cat. I've proven it.\"\n\n\nME\n\n\n\"I'm not really believing that you sit outside someone's home and meow like a cat for who knows how long, until they give you food.\"\n\n\nHOMELESS GUY\n\n\n\"you don't have to believe me. it works. so since the cat's out of the bag, how about you give me a couple of bucks so that I can get to the next neighborhood?\"\n\n\nME\n\n\n\"god that pun was terrible. here.\"\n\n\nI hand him five dollars. just enough for him to take the bus to some other neighborhood that isn't mine.\n\n\nHOMELESS GUY\n\n\n\"you're doing god's work son. thanks a bunch.\"\n\n\nother dude walks away and I slowly creep back into my home.\n\n\nME\n\n\n\"yeah, don't mention it.\"\n\n\nI close the door and lock it. I stand there for a few seconds baffled.\n\n\nME\n\n\n\"what the hell just happened?\"\n\n\nI head in and flip on the television and almost a few hours later, I hear another meow.", "\"You make uhhh... Nice cat sounds\", I said as I stared at that incredulous man, the one making cat sounds that sounded more like a cat than my uncle's cat.\n\n\"Can't help it man, this is how I get pussy\"\n\n\"You mean cat?\"\n\n\"You know my secret?\"\n\n\"What do you me--... Dude what the fuck\"\n\nThat was the last I ever saw of him, heard he moved to an animal shelter after that.\n\n\n", "It felt like weeks had passed, but it had only been an hour, since I'd had the unpleasant experience of crawling through the back door, and vomiting up the contents of my stomach all over the floor. \nI made the mistake of using the handle to pull myself upright, and had inadvertently shut myself in. \n\n I didn't know whether to try to go out again, or just stay in and accept the consequences of my actions. I felt as weak as a day-old kitten, it was a struggle to stay upright, and the patter of rain beginning to fall outside, made the day a misery on top of misery.\n\nUsing the walls for support, I made my way into the hall that looked both familiar, and yet still strange in this dull light.\nIn an effort to regain a more assertive sense of balance, I forced myself to pace back and forth - slowly at first, as I wallowed in my current self-absorbed state, then more confidently - and then I heard a faint meow outside.\n\nMy curiosity pricked, I moved over to the front door and meowed gently back.\n\n\"Meow\" came the feline reply.\n\nI fumbled at the handle, my clumsy attempt to get a grip on the thing frustrating me. I dragged my fingers down the wood surface of the door in frustration!\n\nYet he was there, for I could hear him still, conversing inquisitively with me, beyond the stout wood. Perhaps he wondered what I was doing.\nI kept up my end, with sporadic meows. It probably sounded like I was pawing at the door. \n\n\nStaring hard at the handle, I thought perhaps this time I could manage it, if I could just get these stupid fingers to obey me faster.\nI concentrated hard, and clasped the little oval handle as tight as I could, between in both hands. I twisted this way.. then that.\nFinally, a click! \nI looked around in reflex - an old habit to see if anyone had caught me in the act, then slowly opened the door.\n\n\nIt wasn't at all what I expected - for instead of a little four legged friend, it was another man, like me. \nHe was naked except for a paper bag around his midsection - as if he'd jumped almost straight through it and it had gotten stuck.\nHe marched straight past me before I could even protest, and headed for the kitchen.\n\n\nNow in normal circumstances, this would have prompted me to lash out. One doesn't simply walk into another's territory like that, but I was pretty sure he'd been here before, because he smelled somewhat... familiar.\n\n\nI looked down at the paper bag that surrounded my own waist, and had to concede - perhaps we'd both been loitering over in the same forbidden garden. \n\nNever trust an old lady who usually sprays you with water, especially when she's suddenly all friendly, and putting a handful of catnip in an enticingly crinkly paper bag just for you. That the bag was in a pointed star shape on the ground, with candles around - well. Who pays attention to stuff like that really?\n\n\nAnyway. I caught up to the man. He had ginger hair on the top of his head, so I was pretty sure by now that this was indeed my neighbour, Mungus. I sidled around the kitchen door after him, as he did a circuit of the room.\n\n\"Meow?\" said I.\n\n\"Meow.\" said he.\n\n\nWe both looked at each other - then of a single purpose, we went over to the fridge.\nAfter a few minutes of us pawing and flailing in general at it, Mungus had the idea to make 'claw hands'. So we did that, and this was a success. I tugged firmly at the edge, and with a squopping sound, the fridge door yielded!\n\nThen - after all that effort - he fumbled the milk carton out of its little niche in the door, and it spilled all over the floor.\nI was pretty unimpressed. Hissing, I gave him a smack. He didn't like that much, and we - well. It causes me deep shame to confess that we flailed hands at each other for some time, making the most stupid noises. \n\nSeriously. Have you heard a human before? \"Ayaiyaiyaiyai, Ehwehwehwehweh\", that's what they sound like.\nRealising how unsatisfying this whole paddle-hands business was, we turned our backs on each other in a sulk, two grown humans, in paper bag attire. \n\nFor a moment I thought about pissing in the corner - you know - just to remind Mungus who lived here, but ingrained habits die hard. I have a box, and I know how to use it when I have to.\n\nI had a good long think. Where did the milk come from, BEFORE the fridge?\nThis was some serious existential shit. \n\n\nThere was a pause as a beam of sun broke through the thinning clouds outside, and made a nice patch of light through the window, onto the milk splashed floor. I shifted to stand in it, warming my strange wonkybean toes. Yeah, things would be alright.\n\n\"Mrow?\" I asked of Mungus, phrasing that very question about the origins of the milk.\n\n\"Meurrrr..\" he replied thoughtfully.\n\nGood point. The grocery shop on the corner.\nRun by a nice lady with a soft spot for us cats.\n\n\nSo we made our way to the front door, and after a little negotiation about who was going to leave first, and a couple of back and forths across the doorstep just to make sure both of us REALLY wanted to go out, we were ready. Almost.\n\n\nI took a moment to lick the back of my arm and run it through my fine dark hair. Let nobody say that Mufasa Boobookins steps out looking like a piece of shit.\n\nWe strutted off down the street together, to go see the lady in the little shop on the corner. This would work out just great!\n\n", "What the fuck. I've lived here for a year and a half and haven't even learned this man's name.\n\n\"What the fuck,\" he exhales.\n\n\"Amen.\" I look down to see him eating tuna out of a can. College dining at it's finest.\n\nHe sees my gaze shift and holds the can up. \"Not quite fancy feast.\" \n\n\"Not fancy at all. Is that why you were meowing?\" \n\n\"Uhhh. Yea. The fancy feast commercial came on in my apartment and I thought it was ironic that I'm eating tuna, so I meowed. Also I'm good at meowing.\" \n\n\"You definitely are. Have you considered putting it on your resume?\"\n\n\"Ha-Ha. Good enough to fool you, at least.\" He finally lowers the can, looks back toward his TV, and then takes another bite. He doesn't move though, and just stands there. I stare awkwardly for a few more seconds, then realize he's not going to move and I've yet to shut the door. \n\n\"Why are you outside, barefeet, eating tuna and listening to your TV?\"\n\n\"Oh.. Uh.. Well, my roommate locked me out. I went to go get the mail,\" he sheepishly replies, while patting his pocket full of mail. \n\n\"Oh, bummer.. Well, you want to come in man?\"\n\n\"Yea sure man. What's your name?\" He switches his fork awkwardly to his left and reaches to shake my hand.\n\n\"John. And sweet, come on in. Just don't eat my tuna.\"", "\"I'm walking on SUUUNN SHIIINE!! WOOHOOO!!! AND DON'T IT FEEL GOOD, OH!\"\nThere's few things better than singing in the shower, Lamont thought to himself. It starts the whole day off right. The hot steam from the shower clearing his mind from the morning drowsiness, and the music got him dancing. \n\"Baby I just want you back.\" he sang to the soap. He moved the soap to scrub under his armpit. He scrubbed away all the sleepiness in his joints, allowing his body to move the music\n\"AND I WANT YOU TO STAY!\" He sang into his soap mic. Lamont drummed his belly to the beat of the drum. \nDum-dududududu dumdum\n\"AND DON'T IT FEEL GOOD!\" \nDum-dududududu dumdum. \n\"AND DON'T IT FEEL GOOD\"\nLamont shook his butt against the soap to the beat of the song, enjoying the feel of the soap, the vibe of the music, and the joy of the shower. He wasn't thinking about his job, or how much time he had left. The shower was HIS time, his moment away from it all, and he got to let loose for a few minutes before school started. He din't have to think about his students, or the bureaucracy at the school. Once he stepped out of the shower, he couldn't say this, he couldn't do that. He must teach for this, he couldn't teach that way. If he said one thing, the students would mention it to his parents. If he didn't say another thing, the parents would also hear about it. His words were carefully crafted day-in and day-out to push his students and encourage them to grow, while at the same time not pushing anyone too far to make them upset. It was a delicate and difficult balance.\nAnd he didn't worry about it right now. \n\"I USE TO THINK MAYBE YOU LOVED ME! BUT I KNOW THAT IT'S TRUUUUUE!!!\" he bellowed as he finished his shower. He pulled his towel from around the shower curtain, wrapped it around his big belly, and pulled open the shower. \n\"AND DON'T IT FEEL GOOD!!!\" \nHe stepped down, and saw his cat Chaz sitting across the room. Chaz always sat across the bathroom while he showed.\n\"Meow!\" Chaz exclaimed. \nLamont smiled. \"That's right, Chaz! Break it down for me!\"\n\"Meow!\" Chaz replied, getting up from his sitting position. Chaz knew breakfast was coming soon, and he was hungry.\n\"Meow!\" Lamont replied back. \"I feel alive! I feel the love! I feel the love that's really real.\" Lamont boogied to the music in his head over to Chaz. \"Join with me, Chaz!\"\n\"Meow!\" Chaz replied\n\"Meow!\" Lamont shot back, keeping with the rhythm of the song. \n\"Meow!\" \"Meow!\" \"Meow!\" \nLamont and Charlie meowed back and forth as the head music was building. Lamont's smile grew, as he felt it went right with the song. Chaz and Lamonts meowing blurred with the music, and he got lost in it.\n\"And don't it feel good meow don't it meow good meow don'meow meow good.\" \nHe boogied and danced across the apartment as he dried himself, the classic hit of Katrin & The Waves finished. His body and mind felt full of joy and energy for the new day. Chaz looked expectantly at Lamont, knowing that once Lamont was fully dressed, breakfast woudl come. As Lamont tossed the towel across the room, he pulled up a new pair of boxers, and slipped on a new song.\n\"Heeeeeeeey! Heeeeeeeeeeey! What's the matter with your head, baaaaaaaaaaabe?\"\nLamont got dressed, singing the whole way. He hopped into his pants on beat with the music. He shook his body to the whole song, pretending his was putting on a show for his cat. After using his belt as a mic, he slipped it around his waist like he was running a dance move. The belt mic was quickly replaced with his shoe.\n\"COME AND GET YOUR LOVE! COME AND GET YOUR LOVE!\"\nHe swam through the music over to the cat bowl. \"Meooooooooowwww!\" he proclaimed, trying to find Chaz for his breakfast serving. \"MeeeeeEEOOOWW\" he roared to the music \"come and get your breakfast! come and get your breakfast.\" He jammed --rather unsuccessfully- both syllables of \"breakfast\" into one to fit with the song.\n\"Meeeeeeeeeeeeooooooooow! MEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOW! What's the matter with your mind? \" \n\"Meow\" Chaz replied as Lamont poured the dry food into his bowl. Lamont felt so alive and ready for the day with his morning routine. \nAs Chaz eagerly ate his breakfast, Lamont heard the meow from across the apartment. It sound real, like a small beg at the front door. \nLamont, joyful from his morning routine, jogged over to the door. \"Meowwwwww.\" he said, still playing the song in his head. \n\"Meow\" came the cat on the other side. \nLamont grinned so much his cheeks hurt. There was a stray cat on the other side of the door! And a friendly one at that! Lamont danced, putting on a show for Chaz. He felt a ray of hope with this new cat. Chaz was lonely all day by himself. If this new cat was curious and kind, Chaz could have a new friend to play with during the day. \n\"Meeeooow?\" Lamont asked. He didn't want to open the door to a hostile cat, but if he could keep the cat by the door with his meows, he bet this strange cat would be friendly enough to stay with Chaz during the school day.\nThere was a pause. Lamont stopped his dance move. One foot rested on his toes,the other straight and strong from the ground up to his back. He felt like Michael Jackson, back when MJ could dance. Lamont felt so hopeful for this new cat, and he didn't want to miss a meow for dancing. As he waited in anticipation, Lamont could feel the energy and joy of the shower slowly fading from his body. Soon, the responsibilities of teaching wouldn't allow him to dance and sing with his cat. Soon, he would have to put on his Adult Face for the children.\n\"Meow\" Lamont heard from the other side of the door. Lamont grinned. He grinned like a child who figured out what his Christmas gift under the tree was. His grin was full of possibilities for the future. Oh, the things that would happen with TWO cats in his apartment! Another cat to sing to! And this one would sing BACK at him! He couldn't wait! He grabbed to the door knob, turned it quickly, and swung the door open to meet his new friend.\nOnly to find his neighbor standing at the door. Both grown men starred at each other, their embarrassment locking their eyes and bodies in place. A wave of embarrassment and disappointed washed over Lamont as he realized what they had both been doing. There was no cat on either side of the door.\n\nBut, perhaps, a new friend.", "My neighbor’s cat was a menace. A no good, loud, bratty menace. It tended to sit on my back patio and yell at me until I gave it something. Anything.\n\nFood. \nWater. \nPieces of ribbon. \n\nThe only way to get the greedy bastard to shut up was to slide an offering out the window. The faster, the better, because Grumpy, as I liked to call the cat, was loud. So freaking loud.\n\nOne Saturday morning, while I was recovering from a particularly nasty hangover, Grumpy decided to make an appearance. Each plea for treasure growing in volume. I knew the only way to make the evil noises stop was to appease the beast. I grabbed a bit of bacon from my kitchen counter and ripped open the window. However, without making the conscious decision to do so, instead of just tossing out the bacon, I shouted out the rudest “meow” I could muster. \n\nNow, I didn’t think cats could raise their eyebrows, but I swear this one did. It raised its brow at me in complete silence for about 10 seconds. Then Grumpy meowed again, a satisfied meow, before snatching up its bacon and disappearing from the window. \n\nI spent the rest of the day researching psychotic breaks. \n\nFor some reason, the damned thing got a kick out of me “meowing” at it. After that day, I had to give the brat a little gift AND meow at it, if I wanted it to go away. It wanted a meal and good conversation. \n\nGrumpy’s visits to my patio became more and more frequent. The darn thing came around almost every day. It even started sneaking in when I left the window open. At first, I would scoop Grumpy up and deposited it back outside, but eventually, I gave up. If Grumpy wanted in, Grumpy was getting in. It liked to watch tv with me at night. Or, sometimes, Grumpy lounged on my lap as I worked on my laptop during the day. I don’t know when my opinion of the cat changed, but at some unknown point in time, I started to look forward to the visits. I started leaving the window open. I even bought a few cat toys and a small bed for Grumpy. \n\nI wondered what my neighbors thought of their cat sneaking out nearly every day. One night when I passed them in the hall, I tried making a joke that their cat liked me more than it liked them, but they just gave me a confused look and disappeared into their apartment.\n\nThen one morning I was making an omelet when I heard a familiar “meow.” However, the sound was coming from my apartment door, not my window. That was strange. Grumpy always came in through the window. \n\nWithout hesitation I meowed back, walking toward the door to let Grumpy in. However, as soon as I opened it, I stopped short. Standing in the doorway was a dark-haired girl. She was very naked and very human. \n\n“Hey there,” she said pushing her way into my apartment. \n\n“Um, excuse me,” I started. I tried to block the nude stranger, but she was very quick and ducked under my arm and straight into the apartment. \n\n“What’s for breakfast today?” The girl asked. She picked a long shirt out of the laundry basket sitting next to my couch and shrugged it on. \n\n“I’m sorry, but you can’t just walk into my apartment!” I shouted, equal parts angry and confused. “Who do you think you are?” \nThe woman in front of me didn’t say anything. Instead, she raised her eyebrow and plopped down on my couch. Recognition flashed through me. I took her in again. Her hair was that familiar chocolate brown, and her pupils split her bright green eyes.\n\n“Grumpy?” I asked, my voice no louder than a whisper. \n\n“Well, my names Alissa,” she said, with a large smile. “And I am not that grumpy.” \nI was quiet for a few seconds, my brain trying to catch up with what she just said. \n\n“So,” I said when I regained the ability to speak. “I’m guessing you aren’t my neighbor’s cat?”", "\"Oh,\" the man gasped, as I swung open the door. His eyes widened. He turned, and bolted down the hallway with the footspeed of an actual feline. How weirdly appropriate - because I'd just interrupted him mid-yowl, as though he were a tomcat in heat, inviting me into the hallway to mate. Ugh.\n\nHe'd left something behind on the ground, which had clattered to the floor the second I'd surprised him. It was, I now realized, an old-school miniature tape recorder. It had a tiny cassette loaded within it, and a slight whirring noise let me know it was still running. I picked it up, stared at the buttons perplexedly for a minute, and finally located the \"stop\" button, which clicked with a satisfying mechanical sound.\n\nWho on earth would use something like this, in the digital age? I'd actually never seen one of these things before, and, while I knew I should just walk down the hallway and give it back to him, I realized I didn't know where this dude lived. Every day at around noon, when the building was deserted, this guy - whom I'd thought was an actual animal - would roam the halls. Every day, he would yowl loudly, and would be greeted by a cacophony of other meows, barks, and chirps from the neighbouring apartments. I don't know what prompted me to give that first \"meow\" in return. I guessed I was fucking with that animal's roll call just for kicks. Today I'd had enough of it, and had decided to interrupt the prowler, trying to see if the cat had an owner's tag on it. Animals weren't allowed to roam freely in the building, according to the rules. What if this cat got let outside by mistake during one of its patrols? I'd try to figure out a way to do this diplomatically, because I didn't want to be that asshole, but come on.\n\nI stared at the recording device. So this weirdo had been wandering the halls, taping what he heard in the building. Which must have been the sounds made by other, real animals, presumably. I couldn't help it. I had to listen to whatever else was on there. Where was the rewind button? I found it, and heard the tape whir in reverse, then stop. I pressed play, and waited to hear what the deal was. \n\n\"March tenth, two thousand and eighteen,\" a faint voice intoned. The quality was horrible. It sounded like he had recorded himself speaking from the bottom of a well. The stairwell, I gathered: it was ridiculously resonant, and the recording crackled with background noise. \"The documentary of the secret life of the animals who live on 802 West Cambie street, every floor.\"\n\nThere was the sound of footsteps. Then that familiar meow. A boisterous barking returned his greeting. \"Saint Bernard,\" he noted in his recorder, very softly, because his breath hissed against the speaker. \"One hundred and ten pounds; male. I have noted him coming and going from the park daily at eight-o-clock in the morning, and again at seven p.m. after the owners have taken dinner. Very friendly. Does not lick, but does drool. Obeys commands well.\" \n\nThe sound of feet, shuffling, then stairs being climbed. \"Tabby cat,\" he intoned, after meowing again. \"Orange in colour. Housebound. Enjoys sleeping in the window: can be seen from the ground floor napping at hours eight through twelve, and twelve through six. Enjoys climbing on cat furniture.\"\n\nI don't know why, but I was transfixed. It amounted to a documentary of every single nonhuman creature in the building. Some, he couldn't locate through his meowing technique, but resorted to other means. \"A chameleon, in this apartment,\" he noted. \"Spotted at five p.m. in the courtyard when owner, girl approximately aged twelve, put him on her shoulder and walked him to the window. magnificent creature.\"\n\n\"Python,\" he muttered, on another occasion. \"Fed mice. Illegal pet. But an enchanting animal. Terrarium spotted through open window, open for just half an hour, on day four hundred and three of observations. Approximately five years old and eighty pounds. A superlative find.\" \n\n\"Cat,\" he was muttering, near the end of the tape. \"But a strange cat. Female. Older- for a cat- in its...late twenties? No, that cannot be right. Oh. I see,\" he said, in a soft voice, after yowling again, very loudly. I heard my own ridiculous imitation of a meow distantly through the recorder. \"Not a cat at all. No. Human.\"\n\nThen the door swinging open, a gasp, the crashing noise of the recorder falling to the ground, and footsteps echoing down the hall. The tape clicked off, and there was silence. \n\nThis was weird, I knew. This guy had to be one of the weirdest people I had ever heard of. And I'd just listened to the contents of what I assumed must be his private thought life. Did this person have any sort of gainful employment? Was his whole gig to wander his own apartment building making recordings of the pets there? At the same time, I was, oddly, disappointed that there wasn't more to this weird mixtape documentary. I'd never thought to consider the lives of the animals in the apartment building where I lived. Yes, I'd met my share of chocolate labs and stared at fluffy tuxedo cats lounging on windowsills, but I felt like, through this bizarre exercise, I'd learned about an aspect of the building I'd never really considered in any depth, and would never think about the same way again.\n\nI put the recorder on the kitchen counter, and contemplated what I should do. A public note on the bulletin board saying \"lost recorder found - call this number to retrieve it\" seemed too impersonal. Trying to find out who he was from neighbours seemed a bit too prying. There had to be a simpler way, right? I grabbed a pen and paper, wrote a letter, stuck it in an envelope, and taped it to the front of my own door, addressed to one \"Apartment Building Animal Investigative Reporter,\" with a plea, as the subtitle: \"please read,\" it said. \n\nDear Neighbour, it read. I very much enjoyed your nature documentary of the animals in the building. It was really entertaining and I learned a lot. I'm sorry I interrupted you and that I messed with you by meowing at you. To apologize, I'd like to give you my box set of Planet Earth DVDs, because I have it digitally. It's yours if you want it. Just knock on the door.\n\nI'd agonized over the words, because I didn't want to give him the wrong idea. And the letter had stayed up there for an entire week. But I noticed that it had been ever-so-carefully opened, from the frayed edges of the envelope fold, and tucked back into place, so maybe he- or another nosy neighbour- had read it. Maybe he was still deciding what to do about it.\n\nFinally, seven days later, there was a knock at the door. I answered: A cat was standing there, a note tied to its collar, folded into a tiny square. How had he disappeared so fast? I wondered. How had he trained a cat to stay in one place? But this cat did; it purred at me, and nudged my legs, until I petted it, and stayed near me as I unwrapped the note.\n\n \"Dear Human,\" It read. \"My owner does not interact with people very well. Thank you for your kindness. He would love the DVDs. If you will leave them, and the tape recorder, outside of Apartment 604, he would be much obliged.\"\n\nI piled the offerings in front of his apartment door, and knocked, as the friendly cat frisked around my legs. I don't know what I expected, but I felt a twinge of sadness that he didn't open the door, even though I stood there for quite a long time. \n\nr/eros_bittersweet", "\"Oh,\" I said stupidly.\n\nWe both turned beet red, two grown men, staring at each other after having done something incredibly immature... Yep. That happened.\n\n\"So uh...\" I spoke haltingly, \"you're, uh. You're really great at making cat noises, man.\"\n\nWhen he didn't say anything, I immediately shut he door for a few seconds, then realized how rude that was, and opened the door again. \"Sorry, that was rude. I'm sorry I pretended to be a cat.\" Another long stretch of awkward silence ensued. \"Welp. Have a nice day.\" I quickly closed the door, and hung my head in shame. Yup. I can never talk to him again. Time to go to work.\n\nEDIT: Comma, and letter misplacement corrections." ]	8

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