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“Hey Ginny,” Betty said into the phone.
“Hey Ginny,” Betty say into the phone.
“Oh hello, Mrs. Claus,” Ginny said.
“Oh hello, Mrs. Claus,” Ginny say.
Has Mr. Claus left yet?”
have Mr. Claus left yet?”
“On his way,” Betty said.
“On his way,” Betty say.
“He was just thinking of the children.
“He are just thinking of the children.
A few times, when Tyler ’s parents were away, she took him with her to church.
A few times, when Tyler ’s parents were away, she take him with her to church.
He remembered liking the singing and the colorful windows, and how safe he felt there, in that large, empty space, sitting on a hard bench next to her warmth.
He remember liking the singing and the colorful windows, and how safe he felt there, in that large, empty space, sitting on a hard bench next to her warmth.
When she died, grief overwhelmed Tyler.
When she died, grief overwhelm Tyler.
He made the common error of identifying maturity with worth, and assumed that the love he had for her as a young child must have been lacking in strength and depth.
He make the common error of identifying maturity with worth, and assumed that the love he had for her as a young child must have been lacking in strength and depth.
As he swung his legs in his excitement, he kicked her repeatedly in the shins.
As he swung his legs in his excitement, he kick her repeatedly in the shins.
She asked him to stop, and he refused, giggling.
She ask him to stop, and he refused, giggling.
When she finally frowned at him and threatened to stop playing if he did n’t stop he told her to go to Hell.
When she finally frowned at him and threatened to stop playing if he did n’t stop he tell her to go to Hell.
He also remembered his own utter confusion.
He also remember his own utter confusion.
His parents did not have much use for religion and so for him Hell was a word without much mystery or power.
His parents does not have much use for religion and so for him Hell was a word without much mystery or power.
At that time he knew only vaguely that Hell was a place you did not want to go, like the dark basement or the even darker attic.
At that time he know only vaguely that Hell was a place you did not want to go, like the dark basement or the even darker attic.
He remembered feeling resentful that she was crying and he did not even understand why.
He remember feeling resentful that she was crying and he did not even understand why.
Tyler felt the guilt of this memory even in his teenage years.
Tyler feel the guilt of this memory even in his teenage years.
For him it summed up all his insecurities and fears about his own cruelty, ignorance, and the possibility that he was, in reality, not a good person.
For him it sum up all his insecurities and fears about his own cruelty, ignorance, and the possibility that he was, in reality, not a good person.
The fact that he had caused someone who loved him such pain with so little effort and understanding troubled him deeply.
The fact that he had caused someone who loved him such pain with so little effort and understanding trouble him deeply.
One day Tyler looked through an old family photo album, and in it was a picture of the kitchen in the house they used to live in.
One day Tyler look through an old family photo album, and in it was a picture of the kitchen in the house they used to live in.
Now he remembered that they always ate in the dining room, and when they did play board games, it was always on the coffee table in the living room.
Now he remember that they always ate in the dining room, and when they did play board games, it was always on the coffee table in the living room.
The death of his grandmother had probably caused in him feelings of abandonment and guilt.
The death of his grandmother have probably caused in him feelings of abandonment and guilt.
In his confusion he had taken elements from storybooks and imagined out of nothing this memory to punish himself.
In his confusion he have taken elements from storybooks and imagined out of nothing this memory to punish himself.
With that realization, the image of his grandmother crying faded in his memory and became less and less believable.
With that realization, the image of his grandmother crying fade in his memory and became less and less believable.
Tyler thought he was very lucky to have discovered the single error in his false memory, which enabled him to reason his way into distinguishing between reality and fantasy.
Tyler think he was very lucky to have discovered the single error in his false memory, which enabled him to reason his way into distinguishing between reality and fantasy.
He felt that it was a coming-of-age moment.
He feel that it was a coming-of-age moment.
Nonetheless, he admitted to himself that he was a little sad also at the discovery.
Nonetheless, he admit to himself that he was a little sad also at the discovery.
When that memory lost its compelling aura of truth, it was like another part of her died with it.
When that memory lost its compelling aura of truth, it was like another part of her die with it.
He had no name for the emptiness that remained.
He have no name for the emptiness that remained.
Everyone ’s just watching the weird retarded girl except this one chubby guy who ’s trying to get her to put down the lights but who ’s afraid to touch her.
Everyone are just watching the weird retarded girl except this one chubby guy who ’s trying to get her to put down the lights but who ’s afraid to touch her.
“Not supposed to touch those,” he says.
“Not supposed to touch those,” he say.
“Sorry!” I say.
“Sorry!” I says.
The chubby guy frowns at me.
The chubby guy frown at me.
“Cara,” I say.
“Cara,” I says.
Cara looks at me, looks at the lights.
Cara look at me, looks at the lights.
I gently try to take them.
I gently tries to take them.
“No!” she wails.
“No!” she wail.
She wails, but lets me disentangle her hands.
She wail, but lets me disentangle her hands.
“I ’m sorry,” I say again, the concerned big brother.
“I ’m sorry,” I says again, the concerned big brother.
“I was just looking around and thought she was right with me, you know?
“I is just looking around and thought she was right with me, you know?
Chubby guy kind of hovers until I get the lights away from Cara and as soon as I put them on the shelf he grabs them and starts straightening them out and draping them back over the display.
Chubby guy kind of hover until I get the lights away from Cara and as soon as I put them on the shelf he grabs them and starts straightening them out and draping them back over the display.
I herd Cara towards the front of the store, mouthing sorry at the front cashier.
I herds Cara towards the front of the store, mouthing sorry at the front cashier.
She smiles at me.
She smile at me.
Back out in the mall, Cara is wailing, which could start an asthma attack, so to distract her I say, “You want a cookie?”
Back out in the mall, Cara are wailing, which could start an asthma attack, so to distract her I say, “You want a cookie?”
Mom has Cara on a diet, so of course she wants a cookie.
Mom have Cara on a diet, so of course she wants a cookie.
She perks up the way Shelby, our Shetland Sheepdog does, when you say ‘treat.’
She perk up the way Shelby, our Shetland Sheepdog does, when you say ‘treat.’
I take her to the food court and buy her an M&M cookie and buy myself a Mountain Dew and then while she ’s eating her cookie, I pull the deck of cards out of my pocket and unwrap it.
I takes her to the food court and buy her an M&M cookie and buy myself a Mountain Dew and then while she ’s eating her cookie, I pull the deck of cards out of my pocket and unwrap it.
We ’ve got another fifteen minutes before we have to meet my mom.
We has got another fifteen minutes before we have to meet my mom.
The one who lasts the longest gets to draw an extra card.
The one who lasts the longest get to draw an extra card.
Cara has chocolate smeared on her mouth, but she lets me wipe her face off.
Cara have chocolate smeared on her mouth, but she lets me wipe her face off.
“You ready to go back to see Mom?” I say.
“You ready to go back to see Mom?” I says.
When we pass Spencer ’s again, she stops.
When we pass Spencer ’s again, she stop.
“Uhhh,” she says, pointing to the store.
“Uhhh,” she say, pointing to the store.
Mom always tries to get her to say what she wants, but I know what she wants and I do n’t want to fight with her.
Mom always try to get her to say what she wants, but I know what she wants and I do n’t want to fight with her.
“No,” I say.
“No,” I says.
Cara ’s face crumples up and she hunches her thick shoulders.
Cara ’s face crumple up and she hunches her thick shoulders.
“Uhhh,” she says, mad.
“Uhhh,” she say, mad.
“It ’s okay,” I say.
“It ’s okay,” I says.
She swings at me.
She swing at me.
I grab her hand and pull her behind me.
I grabs her hand and pull her behind me.
She tries to sit down, but I just keep on tugging and she follows me, gulping and wailing.
She try to sit down, but I just keep on tugging and she follows me, gulping and wailing.
“What did you do?” my mom says when she sees us.
“What did you do?” my mom say when she sees us.
My mom had to buy stuff, like gym shorts for me and underwear for herself, so I told her that I ’d take Cara with me while she bought her stuff.
My mom have to buy stuff, like gym shorts for me and underwear for herself, so I told her that I ’d take Cara with me while she bought her stuff.
She ’s holding a Dillard ’s bag.
She are holding a Dillard ’s bag.
“She wanted to go in Spencer ’s,” I say.
“She wanted to go in Spencer ’s,” I says.
“We went in but she kept grabbing stuff and I had to take her out and now she ’s upset.”
“We goes in but she kept grabbing stuff and I had to take her out and now she ’s upset.”
“Robert,” my mom says, irritated.
“Robert,” my mom say, irritated.
She crouches down.
She crouch down.
We trail out of the store, Cara holding Mom ’s hand and sniffling.
We trails out of the store, Cara holding Mom ’s hand and sniffling.
By the time we get to the car, though, Cara ’s wheezing.
By the time we get to the car, though, Cara are wheezing.
Mom digs out Cara ’s inhaler and Cara dutifully takes a hit.
Mom dig out Cara ’s inhaler and Cara dutifully takes a hit.
I tried it once and it was pretty dreadful.
I tries it once and it was pretty dreadful.
Cara sits in her booster seat in the back of the car, wheezing all the way home, getting worse and worse, and by the time we pull in the driveway, she ’s got that white look around her mouth.
Cara sit in her booster seat in the back of the car, wheezing all the way home, getting worse and worse, and by the time we pull in the driveway, she ’s got that white look around her mouth.
“Robert,” Mom says,
“Robert,” Mom say,
“I ’m going to have to take her to the Emergency Room.”
“I is going to have to take her to the Emergency Room.”
“Okay,” I say and get out of the car.
“Okay,” I says and get out of the car.
“You want to call your dad?” Mom asks.
“You want to call your dad?” Mom ask.
“I do n’t know how long we ’ll be.”
“I does n’t know how long we ’ll be.”
Mom checks her watch.
Mom check her watch.
I do n’t want to call my dad who is probably with Joyce, his girlfriend, anyway.
I does n’t want to call my dad who is probably with Joyce, his girlfriend, anyway.
Joyce is always trying to be likable and it gets on my nerves after awhile — she tries way too hard.
Joyce are always trying to be likable and it gets on my nerves after awhile — she tries way too hard.
“I can just make a sandwich,” I say.
“I can just make a sandwich,” I says.
“I want you to stay at home, then,” she says.
“I want you to stay at home, then,” she say.
“I ’ve got my cell phone if you need to call.”
“I has got my cell phone if you need to call.”
“Can Toph and Len come over?” I ask.
“Can Toph and Len come over?” I asks.
She sighs.
She sigh.
She opens the garage door so I can get in.
She open the garage door so I can get in.
I stand there and watch her back down the driveway.
I stands there and watch her back down the driveway.
She turns back, watching where she ’s going, and she needs to get her hair done again because I can really see the gray roots.
She turn back, watching where she ’s going, and she needs to get her hair done again because I can really see the gray roots.
Cara is watching me through the watery glass, her mouth a little open.
Cara are watching me through the watery glass, her mouth a little open.
I wave good-bye.
I waves good-bye.
The first drops of rain fell onto the parched stones from a cloudless blue sky.
The first drops of rain falls onto the parched stones from a cloudless blue sky.
They disappeared immediately, drunk down into the mineral silence.
They disappears immediately, drunk down into the mineral silence.
The garden paused, and everything held its breath and waited.
The garden pause, and everything held its breath and waited.
Everyone knew, beyond belief or necessity that the time had come.
Everyone know, beyond belief or necessity that the time had come.
Heavy oily drops bounced from leaf to grass to dusty ground, gathering in stems and folds on the way.
Heavy oily drops bounces from leaf to grass to dusty ground, gathering in stems and folds on the way.
Still the garden held its breath.
Still the garden hold its breath.
A spattering of drops plucked memories from deep in the roots, shivering through shoots and tendrils, humus and stone.
A spattering of drops pluck memories from deep in the roots, shivering through shoots and tendrils, humus and stone.
Wispy vapour trails marbled the blue surface above.
Wispy vapour trails marbles the blue surface above.
We sat on the porch watching, no longer daring to dart out and leap around in the downfall as drops turned to torrents and the staccato tapping on the roof climaxed to a thunderous roar.
We sits on the porch watching, no longer daring to dart out and leap around in the downfall as drops turned to torrents and the staccato tapping on the roof climaxed to a thunderous roar.