clean_text stringlengths 3 19.8k | is_depression int64 0 1 |
|---|---|
these few day my mother ha been telling me how much of a disappointment i am and i totally agree with her i only bring bad energy in the house and i always mess something up for the year i ve been alive i haven t made positive impact on my mother life or society i wan na die | 1 |
i ve made multiple post of this same topic a a way to seek help wherever i can i have no desire to be alive anymore everyday i wake up i think of way of taking my life because i have lost every single friend who wa ever important to me i am year old black non passing transwoman who decided to begin transitioning at i v... | 1 |
third post on this subreddit from this account most day are anxiety inducing i spend the majority of my life in my bed no job struggling to complete my coursework or even just to take a shower a of the last year these day that i have struggled with since i wa ten have become many and far in between i wake up dreading t... | 1 |
i can t do this anymore i genuinely can t it s gotten to the point where everything is too difficult and i want to quit i have severe panic attack when i can t cut deep enough i just relapsed and it wasn t even worth it the cut weren t deep enough it doesn t even matter i don t want to be here anymore it s just an endl... | 1 |
it seems like it s just who how i am that s making me this miserable i ve tried it all it just seems hopeless | 1 |
how do you get over it | 1 |
i attract awful people into my life because i myself am an awful person i m not oblivious to the fact that i m flawed i keep going back and forth on wether i should become a better person because everyone that ha ever done anything great wa actually a monster with sharp fang the duality of life in human consciousness o... | 1 |
i tried several time to write a suicide note but i kept giving up because i realized im actually going through with it so what doe it matter lol im going to be dead ill never love or feel again not that i ever really felt anything anyway lol i ate some orange chicken and rice and some granola bar with frosting lmao and... | 1 |
i wish i could end all these exhaustion there is no way to fix my situation and thing are getting worse day by day | 1 |
im sorry im so fucking sorry i don t know why i act this way im so fucking angry and im so fucking sad that it hurt but i wish you would understand why i act the way i do im sorry i feel so sick i wish i never met my abuser i wish i could just act how i should i wish i didn t treat everyone like shit im manipulative im... | 1 |
i m just so scared of the future i m making specific scenario of me getting hurt by someone i love and each time it usually end up with me wanting to or actually killing myself i say i don t want to kill my self at the moment but what about the future | 1 |
there too much evidence too many coincidence to many alignment god is on my side when i say that i m supposed to die of suicide and i am the only person who ha the decide whether or not i deserve to die i can justify it too | 1 |
my life is meaningless im a junior in high school don t know what i wan na do when i grow up my whole friend group is senior who all are leaving me and moving away to knew college they don t know this but their quite literally the only reason im even alive right now they give me motivation to wake up in the morning the... | 1 |
feeling really cynical about it my life is a fucking mess been two week i don t sleep getting crazier and crazier everyday but don t have any room for taking care of myself because of a 0h week study contest to come and even my weekend being splitted between people i need to see right now just thinking i ll kill myself... | 1 |
hello all i am m and i have come here to share something that ha been bothering me for a lot of year now i hate they way i look i did not win the genetic lottery by any mean and it make we wana kill myself to be honest i have never been on a date and never had a girlfriend yea you can laugh it s all cool look do matter... | 1 |
ha oh god i don t know why i m laughing so much i think if i could feel anything i would be scared i m laughing and i m cry i don t know what to do i think my friend is suicidal scrap that i know they are and the problem is i m kind of suicidal too i see no point in life but i ve become sort of stuck in a rut of repres... | 1 |
i am feeling too depressed to type much my brain and body are so slow it s like they re shutting down i am just so tired of feeling this way i want it to stop so badly | 1 |
fuck it s just perfect torture god i could not make it any better myself honestly i give credit to those torturing me y all made me just perfectly susceptible for this shit in my hell odd why a god make a person a he device their hell why make them in the first place and why make them do what you would punish them for ... | 1 |
i have no one i m alone that s why abuser target me no one care about me if i had someone that wouldn t happen | 1 |
my last post goodbye | 1 |
headed out to a state with lax gun law considering buying an over under in cash at a walmart with a box of 00 the thought keep running through my mind i fantasize and visualize how i will do it and where to not be found i m probably gon na throw away all my unsightly possession tomorrow before i head out i am suffering | 1 |
anybody just let me know i m here to listen and meet new people | 1 |
i highly expect to get a lot of pushback on this one but hear me out for year i ve been in a horrible mental space with no hope of getting out the way i see it i never consented to being here i no longer desire to live on this planet and i m scared to do the deed myself a far a i m concerned either my mom or dad should... | 1 |
i ve been trying to find a day best to off myself i wa being cautious of my family s birthday and holiday and my birthday seems to fit perfectly in the timeline a to not ruin their coming day i just don t see the point in life honestly what is the point in living i m too depressed to practise to go to lesson to take ca... | 1 |
i had so many suicidal thought last night while i wa driving to try to make myself feel better i thought drowning is scary but i can go put my car in the river and drown then i went well let s look up to see what medication we have that might do it i m just so tired i ve tried so many different medication at this point... | 1 |
i hate myself this probably sound cringey but i do i hate myself my friend call me fat a a joke and id like to take it a a joke but i can t i can t i can t i can t i feel like they hate me i have no evidence they do but i hate myself i m worthless i can t even describe myself without wanting to kill my self all my frie... | 1 |
not sure why i m doing what i m doing not sure why i m writing this it feel like there s no point in doing anything i am not happy currently and i will not have a future so why do i do anything i try to push all my problem to the back of my mind but that doesn t fix anything i still question what the point of doing any... | 1 |
long story short i haven t been feeling well for the past two week i think it s a depressive episode the day befroee yesterday i wa already damn done with life but yesterday wa my final straw i have only seriously had suicidal thought time in my life and have never wanted to do actually do it before i have a fear of de... | 1 |
i will eventually give up i know whoever reading this doe not care so don t comment anything unless you are absolutely inclined to after i die i will ask god to destroy my spirit and make it a if i never existed i hate anything having to do with existing everything that it brings the people the negativity the bullying ... | 1 |
surely just hanging there being asphyxiated by the rope will kill you eventually if the above mentioned thing don t happen | 1 |
i m so tired of the pain hating myself and having no future i cant do this anymore | 1 |
i feel like i just need to have a long long chat with one person about how i feel constantly i m not in crisis or anything i just want to know what s going on in my head so i can stop my self destructiveness because i don t even know what i do to mentally kill my self thank you | 1 |
yeah so basically me and my bf both have been in a very good relationship for about a year and month and we were just texting like we normally do every night and he told me that he s suicidal and think about hurting himself a lot how do i deal with this information how can i help him he already said he doesn t want to ... | 1 |
life just fucking suck i hate everything but above anything else the most i hate is religion i cant help it but say that i do not understand religion and their concept guess what i had to be born in a religious family fuck yeah because of that i am constantly threatened by religious friend and family looking at me like... | 1 |
what are some thing i should get in order before i go i d like to either sell or toss most of my thing plan on paying off the little debt i have writing goodbye making sure nobody see anything traumatic what are some thing one would do or not do before death not looking for help or pitty just something i might be forge... | 1 |
nothing is worse than this | 1 |
is anyone there maybe someone just up to talk i haven t had a hug since i wa a kid do anyone care about me lately my medication is weak or not working i just had cocaine and more medication i dont care too much anymore anyone up for a chat or something or not probably let hope the big nothing is better will it be good ... | 1 |
i told them about my suicidal thought and that i don t know how long i would be gone it just got so much easier now the thought of killing myself i mean i originally planned to do it when i wa 9 but thing have changed the thing i wa afraid of wa abandoning my friend now all they all know is that i m taking a break if i... | 1 |
someone i thought loved me my ex fianc of six year just told me i should go kill myself oh and just a few week ago he said i should go hang myself so i guess i can just go do it now clearly everyone in my life will be better off if i just end it all now i finally got confirmation of that oh do it on your birthday so yo... | 1 |
i m tired two month clean in hour and yet i am still so hollow i ve driven everyone away i tell myself that it s fine when the suicidal ideation come i tell myself to shut up just one more hour i ll tell myself live another day and maybe you won t fuck it up but i always do maybe i have done some good maybe i m not who... | 1 |
ive been suicidal for a long time now ive actually pussied out twice now and no one know i have a s o but because of no free time we only really see each other at school which is not the place to cry every time we try and plan something someone s parent are always there so it s never really safe to just vent alone and ... | 1 |
i am just three month away from graduation and couple of week i found i wa gon na get suspended for plagiarism copied a lab report but today it wa confirmed that it s gon na be a year of suspension all that i ve worked is down the drain all of the job offer are worthless everything in my life is ruined now i ve decided... | 1 |
i just wanted to put it out there for after the fact | 1 |
my mood change fast and i don t think i am bipolar a it s usually a reason why my mood change and it can all change in a day like i m in a good mood and then like couple hour past and i just get negative thought and i m down again like i already lost people this year my ex best friend who used to be my best friend like... | 1 |
i ve been with my fianc two year we are both trans men in our mid 0 he ha been severely traumatized and ha ptsd for the past year especially after starting a grueling job that take up most of his time he ha become more and more depressed and suicidal he ha a history of multiple attempt i try to encourage him to talk li... | 1 |
i want to be dead ive been suicidal for year im such a fucking retard filled with regret and anger im done with life i want all of this to stop why i cant do one thing right | 1 |
i just need to figure out a fool proof plan and figure out how to say goodbye to my friend and family without being suspicious and getting hospitalized again i really don t wan na hurt my loved one but they don t act like they really care anyways i wa living for other people but i have no one anymore so there s not muc... | 1 |
i don t know what i m doing wrong everyone always leaf me | 1 |
i just took the pill i don t know how many it ll take but i m just going to keep eating them one by one until they re all gone i feel so bad for everyone i hope i really don t fuck up anybody s life by ending mine | 1 |
hi i m m from texas and i d like to talk to someone that feel like they don t belong i d love to do my best to help out anyone and everyone i don t judge and i will happy to talk to anyone and if you so happen to end up having a crush on me then let me know i will always be here to talk to you and i will never leave yo... | 1 |
i can t do this anymore the secret the fear that oh no i say something wrong and boom my friend all hate my as i m worried anything i say will tip one of my friend off the edge and she ll do it idk what to do anymore i have a plan but also i m terrified of death | 1 |
i m always so sad i hate who i am i wish i wa never born i wan na kill myself but i get too scared i always regret not going through with it i ll never be happy why do other people get to be happy and confident but i can t i wish someone would push on the train track i purposely stand on the edge so someone would it i ... | 1 |
i did it while they were talking in the living room area of our hotel room they talk so much and so loud they didn t even realize i wa in the bathroom dying my attempt failed your body naturally won t let you die this way but whatever i ll try to find another way to kill myself because i m tired of living i want to jus... | 1 |
my friend recently tried to kill themselves and i feel responsible in a way i feel like i should ve let them know i want to help i am sitting by the toilet hyperventilating and vomiting with a panic attack and i want to see them please help i give it out too much now i realize i need it | 1 |
hi guy it s late night now here in my time zone i can t shake down the urge to go to the building rooftop and take a leap it s story tall should i do it please tell me a logically sensible suggestion my reason my family got covid 9 the past month but it affected my otherwise healthy 0 year old dad the most within a cou... | 1 |
why am i this person i love writing reading scholarship academia but each of those field are rightly inaccessible to me i am unintelligent i have nothing to contribute but my work ethic which is practically useless every article and book i read confirms this i wish i could be satisfied with menial work i wish i could l... | 1 |
so in the last night i drink a lot nothing not normal for me and then everytime e drunk to much i enter in a spiral of shame i encounter my mother and i felt ashamed because i wa so drunk and my father is a alcoolic i drop a dish and the thing scalated e begun to cry and cut my self with the piece of glass without know... | 1 |
i havent left my house in week i quit my job i spend a good of my day cry i dont know what s happening to me my skin took a complete 0 this year and destroyed any little self confidence i had left ha anyone else felt like this before all i can think about is my skin it taking up my life not only is it unbearable to loo... | 1 |
i have a lazy eye and am overweight and i have a bowel problem which make me smell even with these attribute i ve managed to fall in love get married and have a daughter but i keep getting this urge since i wa to end it all it doesn t help that my family doesn t want anything to do with me or my child hell my baby is y... | 1 |
i have a like bottle of pill on my counter that are my old antidepressant i don t want to live anymore but i know if i fail i ll be in so much trouble what do i do | 1 |
caused me to choke on my dinner and puke up half a chicken or maybe the chicken wa poisoned how do i know | 1 |
im so tired | 1 |
a miscommunication happened which caused my grade to not appear in the record everyone is blaming me for it calling me a liar saying i didn t go to class they want to expel me i admit it i skip a lot but if i have a test i swallow my tongue and go no one will believe me even with the evidence because i m a bad student ... | 1 |
i just cant stop thinking about my ex i loved her now that she doesnt want me in her life at all anymore i dont know how to cope and what to do im helpess i really dont see a future for myself | 1 |
i dont even deserve to live | 1 |
i had plan for the future big plan they don t exist anymore a relatively recent assault took them from me the assault also took away my ability to enjoy being out of my house the thing that once made me happy no longer do i can t take care of myself i m on med but they don t help i get up and go through the motion but ... | 1 |
i m a year old girl i ve dealt with some stuff yk my best friend took her own life some month ago and it s been v hard i keep having awful gruesome nightmare about people i love getting hurt or hurting themselves it ruin my day i feel like my mind is torturing itself it end up ruining my life cuz i m always so out of i... | 1 |
it seems there is no more joy in this world the world ha literally gone to shit it s scary and truly saddening people fighting for climate change having protest a if that s gon na change a goddam thing everyone is diagnosed with some type of mental illness even if they re not they tell you they suffer from some type of... | 1 |
goodbye discord friend you were the only one to show me kindness even if it did end up being fake goodbye dad i m sorry you weren t here to see me in my final moment goodbye xchara you might been fake but you were someone who wa never rude to me goodbye self harm this is a bit of a stretch but you kept me alive for so ... | 1 |
i want to die i don t know if i want to kill myself but i honestly don t really care i just want to die and not be conscious and not be an i and have no ability to experience anything or remember anything or think about anything i don t care if it will get better i don t care if i ll be happy one minute later i don t c... | 1 |
i wouldn t necessarily say i don t know what i really want in life it s more like i m still experimenting on what i enjoy to draw and to make a career out of it hopefully replace it with the current job i m working in a for the current job i m working a a custodian housing custodian at a university it s a lot of work a... | 1 |
i ve been struggling with depression and suicidal thought for a couple of year now i don t know why but i also have the worst anxiety and it cause me to overthink everything and ruin my own life anytime i m near a stranger i can only think about if i m breathing too loud or weird and when people look at me i just want ... | 1 |
in the last 0 day i lost the love of my life my home my cat my job and my will to live today i got covid so now i cant even look for a new job so i ll lose the new apartment got no friend some family but they dont care i m out of reason to continue help | 1 |
never had a girl friend all i ever wanted wa a wife and kid even more than money i have zero friend the only people i ever hang out with are my parent i gamble a lot i am scrawney with a beer gut and twig arm what the fuck i can barely finish any college course i live in an apartment and cant see how i can ever afford ... | 1 |
i struggled with suicidal thought around year ago i m being treated for my cptsd and since then id been doing better but for some reason these past few week the thought have come back theyre le frequent but they re there im not going to do it i just want them to stop i dont want to feel like this again | 1 |
i ve essentially given up given up a much a i m allowing myself to sometimes i don t eat for day and then when i do eat it s sporadic and unhealthy i ve stopped exercising i never really took care of the eczema on my skin i just use a an excuse to self harm do a lot of addictive thing a well nothing too insane it s mos... | 1 |
whenever i don t follow through with a plan i feel so stupid i wish i had the ball to just do it and every time i don t i feel like an idiot i m once again making a plan and upsetting myself knowing i won t follow through it make me want to just do it here and now to prove to myself i can but then that s not sticking t... | 1 |
i am i live at home i have a boring low paying job housing is impossible to afford and i m in a long distance queer relationship i have bpd dysthymia cptsd i don t think that my perception of reality is something that i could ever trust i m in therapy i m medicated nothing is really helping since i have relationship de... | 1 |
i am going to die tonight goodbye | 1 |
what do you say when you re told it get better with time it s been the heaviest thing to do when it come to holding myself up i had a hard 0 0 lost my brother best friend and stepdad to suicide and overdose i thought i wa ok i wa so wrong wound up losing my job then my wife decided that she wa better off with me she is... | 1 |
i m year old diagnosed with gouty arthritis at and i ve been battling with myself for almost a year now and it ha gotten to the point where i m tired of living this tuesday morning at am i tried to commit suicide my second attempt on taking my own life in le than a year and yet i ve still managed to fail once more i wa... | 1 |
so me m my gf f killed herself i don t know why or how i feel it s all my fault my family didn t know we were dating so i don t know how to bring it up to them i can t even focus or eat now i just don t know what to do i m honestly about to end it i failed her | 1 |
i m have fucked up my whole life and i dont really want to kill myself but im really running out of option when i wa 9 year old i wa diagnosed with borderline disorder and all my life i have been fucking everything up relationship friendship family member job my study i have been acting very impulsive and i have aways ... | 1 |
i m beyond worthless i will never be able to provide anything to anyone in any capacity i m no more than a worm i just want to break everything in my house smash everything in a complete rage and finish it off with a bullet to the brain i ve never been so furious in my entire year of living im in a perpetual state of a... | 1 |
i taled pill but god decided that i shoudl stay i used to be grateful but i think he wanted me here just to burn my molester in facebook now after loosing my job and being a penniless looser with a lot of debt again i can t stop to remind all my recent mistake and wish i had died maybe if i burn the asshole before and ... | 1 |
it been year 0 month and 9 day since i last self harmed i m really trying to keep the streak going but honestly i don t know if i can make it much longer i ve been thinking of suicide heavily the past few day and i m just so tired every aspect of my life all seemed to crash and burn within the same couple day and i m s... | 1 |
i already failed out of college once but i thought i might try again at a community college well i m about to fail out of this too and for some reason nothing in me care a a child i always kind of assumed my life would be in a great place at how na ve since i ve been miserable for a long a i can remember why would life... | 1 |
i ve been distracting myself with hobby and uni but at the end of the day i always get reminded that none of it matter they re only there to stop my train of thought from entering my mind they re just bring a split second of feeling recently picked up smoking again and it s the only thing that can temporarily bring som... | 1 |
hypothetically if someone took 9 000mg fluvoxamine mg naltrexone and 0mg lorazepam what would happen all hypothetically of course | 1 |
it doesn t matter anymore i m going to copy and paste my note it really doesn t matter i know i m spilling my gut out oh who care now i m lonely i m a solider to my self pride status something i fail to achieve my whole life achieving to be a boy the one my parent are proud of the only reason i m not forgotten is becau... | 1 |
sorry to ask again i m just not doing great at the moment if i do hypothetically end my life and prior to it i end session with my therapist he wouldn t get in trouble right he doesn t deserve to get in trouble or lose licensure over me if that make sense doe anyone have info on this | 1 |
they knew this life isn t worth living and gave all their possession to their family i want to do the same so my friend and family benefit from my death i want to be dead my family and friend get all my stuff everyone win i m 00 fucking worthless and everything i consume is for no reason every friend and partner just s... | 1 |
sorry if this is kinda confusing and messed up i have a hard time putting my thought into word i f would sometimes get suicidal thought whenever i wa going through a bad panic attack but after i calmed down those thought would just disappear and i wa always sure that i would never do that stuff because i knew i only th... | 1 |
so im depressed and right now i m getting more and more suicidal it started with intrusive thought imagining myself in many violent suicide scenario but right now i m seriously considering suicide because it get worse and worse and i have no idea when my life will improve in any way i m trans and i haven t started tran... | 1 |
should i go check into a hospital again i ve admitted myself more time than i can remember over the year for depression suicidal ideation not to mention the attempt where i should be dead i have some good friend amp family i know i m blessed in way but have endured so much sexual trauma a a kid amp later in life amp ha... | 1 |
i guess part of me didn t really want to die so i m heading back home now | 1 |
i am reading all those post and asking myself can i help them or am i also one of them the answer is not shocking but all i can understood one thing the other people don t understood u they stop understanding u in first place when we go silent fewest of few nudge u no matter what but personally i stop responding to exp... | 1 |
i am 0f no longer living with my family my little sister newly yr ha been struggling with depression and self harm for a while now but it recently ha gotten worse like a lot worse she is cutting a lot searching for way to kill herself googling about eating disorder her only friend always play the who s more depressed g... | 1 |
the only reason i can t bring myself to do it is the thought of my mom coming to wake me up and finding me dead or the rest of my family feeling burdened by it we ve already lost a cousin of mine to suicide barely two year ago i don t want to do that to them it s the only reason i haven t yet if only i could stop being... | 1 |
i don t have access to a gun and after attempting and going unconscious i don t think i could go through the pain and fear of hanging again i want to overdose with something like fentanyl i guess the only thing i m scared of is getting arrested because of it is there a possession with intent to overdose law do you thin... | 1 |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.