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103,201
Twelfth Night
14
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VIOLA
Exeunt
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VIOLA
SCENE V. OLIVIA'S house.
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VIOLA
Enter MARIA and Clown
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1.5.1
MARIA
Nay, either tell me where thou hast been, or I will
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1.5.2
MARIA
not open my lips so wide as a bristle may enter in
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1.5.3
MARIA
way of thy excuse: my lady will hang thee for thy absence.
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1.5.4
Clown
Let her hang me: he that is well hanged in this
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1.5.5
Clown
world needs to fear no colours.
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1.5.6
MARIA
Make that good.
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1.5.7
Clown
He shall see none to fear.
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1.5.8
MARIA
A good lenten answer: I can tell thee where that
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1.5.9
MARIA
saying was born, of 'I fear no colours.'
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1.5.10
Clown
Where, good Mistress Mary?
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1.5.11
MARIA
In the wars, and that may you be bold to say in your foolery.
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1.5.12
Clown
Well, God give them wisdom that have it, and those
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1.5.13
Clown
that are fools, let them use their talents.
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1.5.14
MARIA
Yet you will be hanged for being so long absent, or,
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1.5.15
MARIA
to be turned away, is not that as good as a hanging to you?
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1.5.16
Clown
Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage, and,
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1.5.17
Clown
for turning away, let summer bear it out.
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11
1.5.18
MARIA
You are resolute, then?
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1.5.19
Clown
Not so, neither, but I am resolved on two points.
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1.5.20
MARIA
That if one break, the other will hold, or, if both
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1.5.21
MARIA
break, your gaskins fall.
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1.5.22
Clown
Apt, in good faith, very apt. Well, go thy way, if
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1.5.23
Clown
Sir Toby would leave drinking, thou wert as witty a
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1.5.24
Clown
piece of Eve's flesh as any in Illyria.
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1.5.25
MARIA
Peace, you rogue, no more o' that. Here comes my
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1.5.26
MARIA
lady: make your excuse wisely, you were best.
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null
MARIA
Exit
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1.5.27
Clown
Wit, an't be thy will, put me into good fooling!
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1.5.28
Clown
Those wits, that think they have thee, do very oft
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1.5.29
Clown
prove fools, and I, that am sure I lack thee, may
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1.5.30
Clown
pass for a wise man: for what says Quinapalus?
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1.5.31
Clown
'Better a witty fool, than a foolish wit.'
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null
Clown
Enter OLIVIA with MALVOLIO
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1.5.32
Clown
God bless thee, lady!
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1.5.33
OLIVIA
Take the fool away.
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1.5.34
Clown
Do you not hear, fellows? Take away the lady.
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1.5.35
OLIVIA
Go to, you're a dry fool, I'll no more of you:
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1.5.36
OLIVIA
besides, you grow dishonest.
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1.5.37
Clown
Two faults, madonna, that drink and good counsel
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1.5.38
Clown
will amend: for give the dry fool drink, then is
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1.5.39
Clown
the fool not dry: bid the dishonest man mend
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1.5.40
Clown
himself, if he mend, he is no longer dishonest, if
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1.5.41
Clown
he cannot, let the botcher mend him. Any thing
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1.5.42
Clown
that's mended is but patched: virtue that
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1.5.43
Clown
transgresses is but patched with sin, and sin that
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1.5.44
Clown
amends is but patched with virtue. If that this
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1.5.45
Clown
simple syllogism will serve, so, if it will not,
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1.5.46
Clown
what remedy? As there is no true cuckold but
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1.5.47
Clown
calamity, so beauty's a flower. The lady bade take
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1.5.48
Clown
away the fool, therefore, I say again, take her away.
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1.5.49
OLIVIA
Sir, I bade them take away you.
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1.5.50
Clown
Misprision in the highest degree! Lady, cucullus non
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1.5.51
Clown
facit monachum, that's as much to say as I wear not
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1.5.52
Clown
motley in my brain. Good madonna, give me leave to
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1.5.53
Clown
prove you a fool.
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1.5.54
OLIVIA
Can you do it?
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1.5.55
Clown
Dexterously, good madonna.
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1.5.56
OLIVIA
Make your proof.
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1.5.57
Clown
I must catechise you for it, madonna: good my mouse
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1.5.58
Clown
of virtue, answer me.
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1.5.59
OLIVIA
Well, sir, for want of other idleness, I'll bide your proof.
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1.5.60
Clown
Good madonna, why mournest thou?
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1.5.61
OLIVIA
Good fool, for my brother's death.
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1.5.62
Clown
I think his soul is in hell, madonna.
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1.5.63
OLIVIA
I know his soul is in heaven, fool.
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1.5.64
Clown
The more fool, madonna, to mourn for your brother's
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1.5.65
Clown
soul being in heaven. Take away the fool, gentlemen.
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1.5.66
OLIVIA
What think you of this fool, Malvolio? doth he not mend?
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1.5.67
MALVOLIO
Yes, and shall do till the pangs of death shake him:
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1.5.68
MALVOLIO
infirmity, that decays the wise, doth ever make the
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1.5.69
MALVOLIO
better fool.
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1.5.70
Clown
God send you, sir, a speedy infirmity, for the
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1.5.71
Clown
better increasing your folly! Sir Toby will be
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1.5.72
Clown
sworn that I am no fox, but he will not pass his
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1.5.73
Clown
word for two pence that you are no fool.
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1.5.74
OLIVIA
How say you to that, Malvolio?
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1.5.75
MALVOLIO
I marvel your ladyship takes delight in such a
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1.5.76
MALVOLIO
barren rascal: I saw him put down the other day
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1.5.77
MALVOLIO
with an ordinary fool that has no more brain
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1.5.78
MALVOLIO
than a stone. Look you now, he's out of his guard
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1.5.79
MALVOLIO
already, unless you laugh and minister occasion to
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1.5.80
MALVOLIO
him, he is gagged. I protest, I take these wise men,
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1.5.81
MALVOLIO
that crow so at these set kind of fools, no better
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1.5.82
MALVOLIO
than the fools' zanies.
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1.5.83
OLIVIA
Oh, you are sick of self-love, Malvolio, and taste
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1.5.84
OLIVIA
with a distempered appetite. To be generous,
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1.5.85
OLIVIA
guiltless and of free disposition, is to take those
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1.5.86
OLIVIA
things for bird-bolts that you deem cannon-bullets:
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1.5.87
OLIVIA
there is no slander in an allowed fool, though he do
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1.5.88
OLIVIA
nothing but rail, nor no railing in a known discreet
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1.5.89
OLIVIA
man, though he do nothing but reprove.
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1.5.90
Clown
Now Mercury endue thee with leasing, for thou
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1.5.91
Clown
speakest well of fools!
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null
Clown
Re-enter MARIA
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1.5.92
MARIA
Madam, there is at the gate a young gentleman much
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1.5.93
MARIA
desires to speak with you.
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1.5.94
OLIVIA
From the Count Orsino, is it?