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did anyone else on the call even notice | three people did that little eyebrow twitch thing and one guy typed 'lol' in the chat. my boss just blinked twice and kept talking like nothing happened. i wanted the floor to open up. |
what are you gonna do now? just sit here? | fucking school bus man |
should we just head home or what? | still seeing that yellow flash |
what are you smiling at over there like a secret agent? | oh god my mom's voice on an old voicemail from 2009 |
you look like you just saw a ghost, you okay? | nope. found a voicemail from my dad. 2012. wild. |
so what's got you grinning like that? haven't seen that look in years. | just found a crumpled lottery ticket from like three months ago in the glovebox. apparently it's worth a few grand. still trying to decide if this is real or if i'm hallucinating from bad coffee. |
you're just sitting in your car staring at your phone—everything okay? | yeah, just won a couple thousand bucks on a ticket i forgot i even bought. keep refreshing the confirmation email like it's gonna vanish. my hands are actually shaking a little. |
so what happened? you look like you're about to throw your phone off the roof | accidentally liked a pic of my ex from 2018. at 2am. on their mom's profile. |
why are you making that face? did you text them or something | worse. five-year-old photo. my thumb just slipped into the abyss. |
so what's your plan now, just crash here for a bit? | yeah probably. don't really feel like going back to an empty apartment where his bowl is still out, you know |
what are you gonna do with his stuff? | haven't thought that far honestly. his leash is still hanging by the door and i just walked past it like an idiot |
wait what's got you looking so stunned? | that lottery ticket from january. actually won something. |
you okay? you look like you saw a ghost | just found out i'm three thousand bucks richer apparently |
did something come up? | biopsy results any minute now and my brain's already planning my funeral soundtrack |
you finally get to see the city, and your first bus ride is this loud? | yeah the bus sounds like a dying whale. fitting. |
thought you'd be out exploring, not just staring out a window? | exploring? more like watching noise eat the sky. |
wait so you actually typed the last word and then what — did you just sit there? | yeah I mean I just stared at the cursor blinking for a solid minute and then realized I'd been holding my breath. my fingers were cramping up and there's still red wine on page 214 from that night I spilled a glass and almost cried but honestly that stain feels like a medal now. I shut the laptop and just laid on the f... |
wait what happened in it? | dreamt I was trying to pay for coffee with a pinecone and got really offended when it didn't work |
okay but what actually went down? | you were there too but as a cat and I was just following you around apologizing |
bet you're thrilled about that email, huh? | thrilled like a deer in headlights. |
so what's the lawyer's subject line? 'congratulations, you won a lawsuit'? | something like 'urgent legal matter' — yeah, real prize. |
so anyone interesting catching your eye down there? | guy in a tracksuit is absolutely losing it over a pigeon |
what's got you grinning at your phone like that? | just watching a woman negotiate with a squirrel for her bagel |
So what'd you do when you realized nobody else was there? | just stood there holding a bottle of wine like an absolute fool |
Did they at least let you in? | nope. stood on the porch for a solid minute pretending to check my phone |
did you actually see the play or were you still half asleep from the flight? | saw every agonizing second. i mean i was dozing off during the timeout but then the crowd noise snapped me back and suddenly it's overtime and my heart's just pounding through my chest. then that steal and the buzzer beater and i swear time slowed down. like i'm sitting here at gate c17 with a croissant and i still can... |
what are you going to do tomorrow then? | maybe just walk. nowhere. see if the city feels any quieter. |
any idea what you're gonna do next? | sit here a bit longer. kitchen's the only room that makes sense. |
what were you like in your twenties? you ever get into trouble? | oh there was this one night in sixty-seven. got into a bar fight over a chess game of all things. guy said my move was illegal and i told him where to put his rook. next thing i know we're both outside and i'm laughing so hard i can't throw a punch. ended up buying him a beer after. his name was mike. we played chess e... |
do you think we actually change as we get older or just get better at pretending? | been sitting here for an hour thinking about that exact thing. look at my hands right now. same hands that shook when i proposed to your aunt. same hands that couldn't hold a wrench steady last tuesday. but inside feels different. like there's this quiet hum now that wasn't there when i was thirty. less shouting in my ... |
what happened with your shirt at the wedding? | ripped the whole side seam out when i went down |
did you get back up okay or what? | nope just laid there hoping the floor would swallow me |
you look like you just won something — what happened? | front row tickets to the band we've been obsessed with since college. like actually right there. still feels fake. |
what's got you grinning like that first thing in the morning? | got the presale alert at like 4am and somehow snagged front row. my hands were shaking the whole time. |
you look wrecked, what's going on? | inbox is just multiplying like rabbits I swear |
you're not people-watching or anything? | oh there's people all right. guy at the counter just tried to pay with a check that looked older than me. waitress didn't even flinch. just took it like it was normal. and there's this kid in the corner booth building a fort out of sugar packets while his mom scrolls through her phone like she's solving world hunger. y... |
what's got you smiling like that? | he tried to catch his tail and just... fell over. full sploot. |
you look like you're remembering something good? | she barked at her own reflection for a solid ten minutes. |
did you seriously belt out the wrong words for the whole song and not notice? | oh god the worst part is i was so into it, like i was feeling the emotion and everything, and then the actual chorus hit and i realized i'd been singing some completely different thing about broken dreams or whatever. the dj just looked at me, mic halfway down, and i stammered something about being passionate. michelle... |
so when exactly did you figure out you were off? | right at the big dramatic pause, that's when. i'm belting out this line about 'never letting go' and suddenly the track goes quiet and my voice is just hanging there, exposed, and my partner is covering their mouth from the table. i turned red, tried to laugh it off, but my voice cracked and i just handed the mic back ... |
are you mapping the universe or just lost in the throw pillows again? | bit of column a bit of column b. but listen. these pillows. they don't just sit there. they hold the shape of every person who ever flopped down on this couch. your head. my head. the dog's head back when we had a dog. that's history. that's memory in foam. and the way the light hits the window right now? makes everyth... |
What's eating you tonight? You keep staring at that same spot on the wall. | the biopsy call should have come by now. every time the phone rings my stomach just drops and then it's someone selling duct cleaning. |
You've been gripping that mug like it owes you money. What's going on? | kept thinking about what I'd say if the news is bad. planned out this whole calm speech and now I can't even remember what day it is. |
how come you were back from the martins' place so early last night? | showed up a full day early with a bottle of wine |
did you really just walk right in or what happened? | stood there holding a casserole dish for five minutes |
you live around here? what's got you so on edge? | there's like branches scraping against my window and it sounds exactly like someone trying to jimmy the lock. every single creak feels personal right now. |
heard you jump at that car door. everything alright? | my brain is convinced every random thump is a home invasion. this is why i never watch true crime before bed. |
Wait, you got promoted? For what position? | no clue honestly. like HR called me mid-lecture and i almost dropped my phone into a cup of lukewarm matcha. kept glancing at the caller ID thinking it was a spam number or maybe a wrong number situation. turns out the higher-ups had some closed-door meeting and decided i was the person for a role i didn't even know ex... |
How does that even happen without you applying? | your guess is as good as mine. apparently they'd been watching my work on some backend project nobody talks about and decided i was ready for the weird hybrid role that combines data analysis with actual decision-making. i'm still waiting for the hidden camera crew to jump out and yell surprise. like my resume doesn't ... |
bet you're never washing that shirt again huh | pretty sure i'd frame it if i could. just sat there in the parking lot for like ten minutes after. |
so did you ugly cry or just a little misty | totally played it cool till they ran off then just sat there grinning like an idiot. |
Mom, did you even hear what I said? | oh honey, yes—still can't quite believe it |
You're shaking—did something happen? | he asked—and I said yes |
so what's the plan if the phone actually dies on you out there? | guess I'll just pick a street and start praying |
you gonna try asking someone for directions or what? | yeah cause that never backfires in a neighborhood like this |
did she even recognize you after all these years? | took her a solid thirty seconds — the pause was brutal |
you went through them already? all of them? | pulled them out during the cake cutting like a maniac. remember the one where she drew that little cartoon of us falling off a skateboard? that one's basically a fossil now. |
what did the oldest one say? | she wrote about how we'd probably still be friends when we're old and grey. and now the envelope's all crinkly from being stuffed in a shoebox for years. just a little dust and a lot of could've-beens. |
what's that dopey look on your face for? | daisy just chased her tail for ten solid minutes and then looked confused |
you're grinning at your phone again, what happened? | he tried to catch his own reflection in the water bowl |
you're not even reading your book, what's going on in that head of yours? | pretty sure gate B7 is a front for something |
you keep staring at that guy with the luggage cart, what's the deal? | he's casing the place, clearly a spy for delta |
what's so fascinating about the flight board all of a sudden? | those codes are definitely a secret language |
so you're in the thick of it with the boxes, huh? how's that going? | oh honey the kitchen stuff is what got me. stood there with a roll of packing paper and just could not remember why I owned half of it. |
wait, you're doing this whole move by yourself? no help at all? | my back is screaming and I found a bag of potatoes from 2019 behind the fridge. the only thing keeping me going is the thought of takeout after this is over. |
so you gonna ask for a discount on next month's rent or what | at this point i want a ceiling discount |
guess you finally got that open concept layout you wanted | yeah real trendy water feature included |
Who's that person who just walked in? You lit up like a Christmas tree. | my kid. flew in from the coast, didn't tell me. just showed up in the waiting room with a bag of snacks and that stupid grin. |
Was that your family coming through the door? You looked so relieved. | that's my kid. they flew in from across the country without telling me. just appeared in the hospital hallway with a bag of gummy bears and no jacket. |
so did you just glare at the empty tupperware or what | oh it gets worse. i stood there holding the container for a solid minute like maybe if i stared hard enough the food would materialize back and then i actually laughed out loud on the bus which made the guy next to me jump. you know the kind of laugh that's like half genuine humor half pure rage. and the worst part is ... |
gonna start labeling things with threats now huh | honestly thinking about a full laminated sign with my face on it like a wanted poster. 'this lasagna belongs to me do not touch or face consequences'. and i know it's just food right but like it's not just food it's the idea that i was counting on this one specific thing to get me through the evening and someone just d... |
bet you're just hiding from the cat again | oh this is way worse than a cat |
you look like you just saw a ghost — what, the fridge light go out? | lawyer email. at midnight. no context. |
wait what did the dog do this time? | okay so you know how the tide pools are all these little crevices right. she spotted something shiny in one of them and just. full faceplant into the water trying to get it. came up sneezing with a dead crab on her head looking so proud of herself. like that's my little idiot you know. forty pounds of pure zero brain c... |
did she actually get stuck in something dumb again? | oh you're gonna love this. she found this massive piece of kelp washed up and decided it was her mortal enemy. spent like ten minutes doing that growl-bark thing where she's not sure if it's alive or not. then she grabbed it and tried to run and the whole thing wrapped around her legs. she just. fell over. looked at me... |
so is this your sad train playlist or your nostalgic one? | middle school dance song came on and i knew every single word. thirty seconds in and i'm twelve again, sweating through my palm trees polo like a complete fool. |
did the algorithm dig up something embarrassing for you too? | that one slow song we all pretended to hate. still knew every breath of the lyrics and exactly where to put my hands on someone's shoulders. |
so you're up there alone and the plane starts shaking — what's going through your head? | oh this is fine, definitely not about to die in a tin can at 3000 feet |
did the instructor give you any warning about how bad it gets? | nope, just 'you got this' and then the sky tried to eat me |
what's that little smile about over there | found a stash of old letters from someone I used to be thick as thieves with. we just... stopped writing one day. train's late and I'm standing here reading about a person I barely recognize. |
you look like you're somewhere else right now | digging through a shoebox of letters from a friendship that just evaporated. funny how you can miss someone you haven't thought about in years. guess the brain saves a seat for them anyway. |
you get that email yet? the one that made you go all stiff? | oh this lawyer thing? yeah that's not ominous at 3am |
what's with the death grip on your phone there? | some lawyer wants to 'discuss a matter' — at this hour |
so what are you gonna do with them? | dunno yet. maybe just keep the box in the closet another ten years. feels weird throwing out someone who used to know you that well. |
should you try reaching out? | god no. like what would i even say. 'hey found your old notes, remember when we were fourteen?' too weird, too late for that. |
didn't you say last week your building was switching management companies? | yeah well now their lawyer just emailed me out of nowhere |
remember when you joked about getting a cease and desist for that meme page? | oh god this might actually be that kind of energy |
what's with the old sweatshirt you're holding? | god it's so faded now. my college hoodie. |
that thing looks like it's been through a war | smells like basement and cheap beer still somehow |
you look like you're staring through that menu, everything okay? | bar exam brain. got to 'consideration in contract law' and my head just went static. like the words are there but they're not connecting to anything. |
that's a pretty intense stack of books for lunch, what's going on? | studying for the bar. hit a wall around page 400 where nothing makes sense anymore. it's just shapes on paper at this point. |
so what are you gonna do about it? | honestly no clue yet. just sitting here staring at the subject line over and over like it'll eventually make sense. feels like my brain short-circuited. |
should you call them or just wait it out? | probably call but I'm scared the second I hear a voice it'll get real. gonna finish this coffee first and pretend I'm a normal person for a few more minutes. |
figure out the machine situation okay? | two kids puking all night and this is my lunch break |
this pile belong to you or a small army? | feels like an army honestly just me and the flu |
that pile of laundry by the back door yours? | two grandkids with the stomach bug and a washing machine that's given up on life. |
you look like you could use a chair and about ten minutes of quiet. | bless their hearts but they picked the same week to both get sick. |
so did you just melt into a puddle on the floor or what | pretty much yeah. was just sitting there folding laundry and he just blurts it out like it's the most normal thing in the world. think i short-circuited for a solid five seconds. |
bet you had to pause the call to compose yourself huh | oh totally had to mute myself and just stare at the ceiling for a minute. like that little voice just saying it so casually and now my whole evening's derailed in the best way. |
wait why did you just make that weird noise | accidentally liked their 2019 photo oh my god |
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