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94_1
Um, how about if we talk about, uh, the problem that I'm really having is, um, getting somebody motivated to do something, um, such as move out of my house.
neutral
communication behavior
94_3
Well, I-I offered my home to somebody and, uh, for, you know, uh, a transitional period.
neutral
communication behavior
94_5
You know, and it seems that, um, it's hard for me to be assertive and say I think the, um, the, uh, transitional period is- has come and it's beginning to time to transition. So.
neutral
communication behavior
94_7
Yeah, that's, it's absolutely right that I want, I-I want change but I'm not, I am kind of, like, weak in that area where it's, like, the ability to actually say the words. You're right, yeah. I'd like to be able to do that.
change
communication behavior
94_9
Um. [sighs] I don't know, I'm-I'm, I guess, I'm kind of, um, I care about the person and, you know, there's a certain amount of comfortability of having somebody with you, you know, and I'm just, so, I guess I am at war with myself because part of me wants the comfort of having a companion and the other part of me is just, you know-- I-I cannot-- I am not really sure what I wanna do, you know.
sustain
communication behavior
94_11
Yeah, you know, it's kind of, like, the old sock- song saying hit the road Jack, don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more. [laughs] And—
change
communication behavior
94_13
[laughs] Well, first of all I think he would hit the road if I started singing that song 'cause I can sing. [laughs]
neutral
communication behavior
94_15
Well, you know, in life you have to have a sense of humor in my- the way I view and otherwise, you know, I'd be like where's the news. [laughs] I mean, it's either—
neutral
communication behavior
94_17
Yeah, yeah, I have to laugh, I mean, even comedians say, you know, uh, most of-- What I've heard about comedians is that they are really not always that happy and they use that in a comical way to, you know, deal with life, so, yeah. [laughs] I kind of, maybe I should go into that. [laughs] Like this girl—
neutral
communication behavior
94_19
Yeah, like this girl Ruth that I know she's-she's, uh, got a serious job and she kind of does that on the side. [laughs]
neutral
communication behavior
94_21
Mm. Let's see. Well, you know, I'm really not sure, I kind of, you know. Um, I'm having a hard time with that. Um.
neutral
communication behavior
94_23
Mm, well, I have to really think about it because-
neutral
communication behavior
94_25
Yeah, yeah. Maybe some guilt and I, um, uh, I just, you know, [sighs] I go back and forth a little bit, you know.
sustain
communication behavior
94_27
Yeah.
neutral
communication behavior
94_29
Yeah, I-I- yeah. I mean I- thank you. I-I-I appreciate you saying that I'm a good person. Like I feel I am. Um—
neutral
communication behavior
94_31
Yeah. Oops, it's just hard to- it's just hard to, um, er, yeah. I- my j- my job is done and I have to start to realize that I have to be a little bit more assertive, I think, and a little bit more, um, sure of myself.
change
communication behavior
94_33
Well, um, I've had co-conversations about with him and sometimes not-not so pleasant, but I'm-I'm just making, you know, 'cause I happen to sometimes just like hold things in. And then finally I- at-at one point I was really, you know, very logical about it. And then the other day I kind of got not so logical about it.
neutral
communication behavior
94_35
[laughs]
neutral
communication behavior
94_37
Yeah. That's the good thing that he does. And I mentioned them. I-I-I discussed that with him.
neutral
communication behavior
94_39
And that gives me a relie- a sense of relief. Like I'm not just, you know, saying yeah. You know, go find your own place or, you know, I mean, there are places where he has a safety net to go to and that-that is something that I think I feel better about and that it makes it easier to discuss and giving them options that he can-- Yeah, yeah, exactly.
change
communication behavior
94_41
Been there, done that. [laughs]
neutral
communication behavior
94_43
Yeah.
neutral
communication behavior
94_45
Well, um, I told him within a couple of days is, you know. I think, um, I-I- cause I have future plans, um, and some things that are up in the air with me as far as where I'm going to be living in. I've had this place for seven years, but I'm not sure, you know. Every day is a new- a new, uh, winding road that we go down, you know?
neutral
communication behavior
94_47
Um.
neutral
communication behavior
94_49
Oh, God, yeah, yeah. But, you know, and it's scary to have an extra, a huge extra trunk that you have to carry with you [chuckles].
neutral
communication behavior
94_51
Yeah, yeah.
neutral
communication behavior
94_53
But I-I mean and it's not that I don't care about him, I do. But you know, it's just like, we're both- we're all adults here, come on.
change
communication behavior
94_55
Um, that's the goal, you know.
change
communication behavior
94_57
And I don't know what his plans are, but those are my plans.
change
communication behavior
94_59
I like your way of thinking, girl. I-I'll tell him that. [laughs].
neutral
communication behavior
94_61
Thank you
neutral
communication behavior
95_1
Um, okay. Just, I don't even know why I'm doing this anymore. I'm-I'm just so stupid. I'm such an idiot. I didn't know what the point of-of this is. I just- I just keep doing the same thing over and over, even though I know it can kill me. I just, I don't have any more willpower, ma'am. Yeah, [foreign language].
sustain
communication behavior
95_3
Mm-hmm.
sustain
communication behavior
95_5
No, it just seems that cutting myself is the only way out. And I just get suicidal thoughts and [foreign language], I'm just very, very like depressed and what's going on at home.
sustain
communication behavior
95_7
Yeah.
sustain
communication behavior
95_9
Yes. Sometimes a pain in-in the body. It's, uh, to [unintelligible 00:01:27] handle and-and the pain inside of me.
sustain
communication behavior
95_11
Yes. I am.
sustain
communication behavior
95_13
Yeah, yeah, suicide.
sustain
communication behavior
95_15
[foreign language]
neutral
communication behavior
95_17
Yeah, 'cause she's a single mom and she struggles a lot. I wanna help her, but I can't help her. So it just makes me sad. I feel like if I don't live anymore, she'll be okay. And she wouldn't have to worry about me or pay my stuff.
sustain
communication behavior
95_19
Yeah.
sustain
communication behavior
95_21
I-I think so?
neutral
communication behavior
95_23
Because it won't be a burden to her.
sustain
communication behavior
95_25
Because she has to pay for my food and my uniforms, um, to have a roof over our heads.
sustain
communication behavior
95_27
Um, I try to be a good kid. I tried to go to school. I may not have the best grades, but I'm not failing any classes.
change
communication behavior
95_29
That's the right one.
sustain
communication behavior
95_31
Um, I don't know. I don't know. It's just, um, I'm not sure I can.
sustain
communication behavior
95_33
Thank you, ma'am, I feel better.
change
communication behavior
95_35
Okay.
neutral
communication behavior
96_1
Uh, yeah, sure. Um, I guess, well, my doctor referred me to see you. Um, I guess he has some concerns about, um, my- my pregnancy and- and my baby. So, um, yeah, well, I'm doing what I'm told.
neutral
communication behavior
96_3
Uh, yeah, he is concerned about my alcohol intake.
neutral
communication behavior
96_5
Uh, no.
sustain
communication behavior
96_7
Mm-hmm.
neutral
communication behavior
96_9
Um, okay. Uh, well, I guess I drink like a glass of wine at supper every night, and just to, you know, relax a little with my friends if I go out. So wine has always been a kind of a family tradition with supper. So-
sustain
communication behavior
96_11
Yeah.
neutral
communication behavior
96_13
Yeah, and I, you know, I-I have friends who have drank during pregnancy, and-and I see articles on Facebook and-and, you know, things that show that there isn't really a clear link between, you know, abnormalities or, uh, yeah, I just- I just think it's kind of an old wives' tale. So, you know, I'm independent and I'm gonna- I'm gonna do what I want, it's my body.
sustain
communication behavior
96_15
Yeah. You know, I've looked it up to see, you know, kinda what I can say back, you know, to support my argument.
sustain
communication behavior
96_17
Yeah, which is that, um, I'm going to do what I- do what I wanna do and what I know, right? So it's- yeah. I don't know, but, um, I'm here anyway. So-
sustain
communication behavior
96_19
Nope. I never have been.
sustain
communication behavior
96_21
Yep.
neutral
communication behavior
96_23
Mm-hmm. I think so.
neutral
communication behavior
96_25
Yeah. I mean, you know-
neutral
communication behavior
96_27
Yeah.
neutral
communication behavior
96_29
Like right now?
neutral
communication behavior
96_31
Uh-
neutral
communication behavior
96_33
Uh, yeah, I guess.
neutral
communication behavior
96_35
Sure.
neutral
communication behavior
96_37
Well, you know, I've-I've heard these kinds of things before, but I just- I don't see the evidence. I don't see the risk, you know, I don't, you know, if someone can like prove to me, or show a direct link or something like that.
sustain
communication behavior
96_39
It's the same thing.
sustain
communication behavior
96_41
Yeah. It's just a fancy little brochure saying what I've already known, I've already heard.
neutral
communication behavior
96_43
Mm-hmm.
neutral
communication behavior
96_45
Um, well, I've looked up, um, different articles. Um, and I- as I said, I personally know people who haven't had any problems. Um, so that's about the extent.
sustain
communication behavior
96_47
Like, uh, I don't like- have like a bibliography or anything.
neutral
communication behavior
96_49
So I can't really- I don't really know when those were published. It's just stuff I've found, supporting the way that I look at it.
neutral
communication behavior
96_51
Yeah. Well, it's like all this brochure is saying is that, um, the same again, the same thing that I've heard, that the limits and that there is no safe amount of drink during pregnancy, but it's like, why not?
neutral
communication behavior
96_53
You know, it's kind of like the "why" that it's like-
neutral
communication behavior
96_55
-I never get that information.
neutral
communication behavior
96_57
Yeah, like what kind of issues would that cause if any?
neutral
communication behavior
96_59
Yeah.
neutral
communication behavior
96_61
Yep.
neutral
communication behavior
96_63
Um, well, it's-it's really important to me. That's a big priority of mine is to have a healthy baby and bring him or her up well and-and, you know, be a good parent.
neutral
communication behavior
96_65
Um, not-not like being there at home with them, not being absent, um, taking care of them, feeding them, um, changing their diaper, which I'm not excited about. Um, you know, kind of the- those basics.
neutral
communication behavior
96_67
Yeah.
neutral
communication behavior
96_69
Mm-hmm.
neutral
communication behavior
96_71
Yeah.
neutral
communication behavior
96_73
Yeah, of course.
neutral
communication behavior
96_75
Mm-hmm.
neutral
communication behavior
96_77
Um, well, I just don't know- I just don't know where-where these brochures get their information or-or anything from, like, where's the hard evidence essentially.
neutral
communication behavior
96_79
Yeah.
neutral
communication behavior
96_81
Um, well, it surprises me that that's based on research from out of 2011, um, and I must have missed that. I guess, you know, if it is, um, you know, I do wanna do what's best for my baby and for myself. And if I have to quit drinking, um, I guess ultimately I have to-I make that decision, um, but, um, that's a lot of, uh, information to take in today.
change
communication behavior
96_83
Nope.
neutral
communication behavior
96_85
Um, well, first things first, if I could take a brochure home maybe, um, you know, show it to my partner and-and-and get-get their support, um, I think that's really gonna help me, and kind of changing our-our habits, or, you know, putting the alcohol away, out of sight. Um, I think that's probably the best thing I can do, like, today when I get home.
change
communication behavior
96_87
Yeah.
neutral
communication behavior
96_89
Yeah, I think that- I think that would be a good idea, and maybe you could help me, yeah, with, like, ways to approach it because I think that my partner kind of has the same view that I- that I had. So-
change
communication behavior
96_91
Yeah. Thank you.
neutral
communication behavior
97_1
Good.
neutral
communication behavior
97_3
Yeah.
neutral
communication behavior
97_5
What?
neutral
communication behavior
97_7
You are joking, aren't you? I mean, look, I've made time in my day to come here.
sustain
communication behavior
97_9
I'm kept in your waiting room-
neutral
communication behavior