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The new James Gang has not had a good start with Tucker Bassham arrested and Ed Miller killed by Jesse for threatening to betray the Gang, that just leaves you, Jesse, Jesse's cousin Wood Hite, the cunning Dick Liddil and the alcoholic Bill Ryan. The murder of his old friend Clell's brother seems to weigh heavily on Je...
You go with Tucker back to his farm, all the while having to endure his inane conversation conveying how excited he is by the amount of money you have made. He takes a shopping trip into Jackson and apparently brags loudly about taking part in the Glendale train robbery because the next morning there is a knock on his ...
Returning to Missouri you meet your old friend for the first time in many years. Jesse hasn't changed at all, though he is now in his thirties and has grown a beard he maintains all his old enthusiasm, high-spirits and carefree attitude. Apparently Frank wants nothing more to do with crime and is enjoying his retiremen...
Returning to Missouri you meet your old friend for the first time in many years. Jesse hasn't changed at all, though he is now in his thirties and has grown a beard he maintains all his old enthusiasm, high-spirits and carefree attitude. Apparently Frank wants nothing more to do with crime and is enjoying his retiremen...
Jesse rents a small house on the outskirts of Norborne and together you, Jesse and Ed live there for a time. Ed is a heavy drinker and over time you notice he seems to hold you and Jesse responsible for the death of his brother Clell in the Northfield Bank Robbery three years ago. One night after an especially heavy dr...
By the time you and your surviving companions make it out of Northfield you are in a pretty bad way: Bill Chadwell and Clell Miller are dead and everyone except Jesse (and possibly you) has been wounded: Charlie and Frank have both been shot once, Bob twice, Jim three times and Cole a remarkable five times, though all ...
You fire your pistol over the dead-fall, one of your shots clipping a posse member in the side. The posse returns fire, the men in front firing from cover while those behind on a slight hill direct their fire over their heads. Your friends are hit several times: Cole is hit three times, Charlie four times and Jim once ...
You choose to remain with the Younger Brothers and Charlie while the James boys ride off. Initially the plan works well, continuing to head slowly south you rarely encounter posses now, most have them have drawn off west to chase Frank and Jesse. Unfortunately Bob and Jim's fever is continuing to worsen and you are mov...
Racing to the backdoor you point your pistol at the fleeing man and fire. The bullet hits the teller in the back of his shoulder, though the man stumbles he makes it to the edge of the street and vanishes round a corner. As you shut the door and go back inside the bank you can hear shots outside and suddenly Cole's voi...
You and your friends ride up to the bank, leave your horses tied up outside and go in. There are three tellers but no customers inside the bank and drawing your pistols you approach the tellers. "We're robbing this bank," Jesse declares. "Don't any of you holler, we've got forty men outside." The tellers raise their ha...
You and your eight companions begin scouting towns in Minnesota for good banks to rob and settle on one in the town of Northfield. While you are in Minnesota you learn that Hoobs Kerry has been identified and arrested and has promptly identified each of the Gang including those who took part in the Otterville Train Rob...
Your shot hits the man in the head and he falls to the ground fatally wounded. You turn away just in time to see Clell get shot off his horse by a bullet fired from somewhere high. As you and Cole ride towards him and dismount Clell is in a bad way, lying on the ground with blood pouring from his face and shoulder. A q...
That morning you ride up to the bank and while your companions enter you, Clell and Cole wait outside. After a few moments two men approach the bank and though you and Clell move to intercept them the men are walking too fast and suddenly freeze as they witness your friends holding up the bank at gunpoint through the b...
You and your eight companions begin scouting towns in Minnesota for good banks to rob and settle on one in the town of Northfield. While you are in Minnesota you learn that Hoobs Kerry has been identified and arrested and has promptly identified each of the Gang including those who took part in the Otterville Train Rob...
You join Jim, Bill and Charlie on the edge of town hoping the alarm will not be raised requiring you all to ride into town. Unfortunately, mere moments into the robbery, you hear a gunshot which is the signal for all of you ride into town. Spurring your horses into a gallop and drawing your pistols you ride down the st...
Leaving Jim behind you join the rest of the gang in holding up the train outside Otterville. As usual the robbery goes smoothly: after forcing the train to halt you and the James brothers empty the Express Safe while the Youngers guard the train staff and the others hold the horses. Mounting up you ride cross-country, ...
The others are disappointed by your decision but accept it and you choose to stay behind at the Kerry Farm with Hoobs. One morning you are in the kitchen when there is a knock on the front door. When Hoobs goes to answer it you hear a voice cry out "Hoobs Kerry, you are under arrest!" Springing quietly to your feet you...
You and the other nine members of the James-Younger Gang who gather in an empty cabin on the edge of Otterville are the most wanted men in America. Jesse, grinning and carefree sits next to a dour and frowning Frank. Cole, tough and capable sits between his handsome, young brother Bob and his other brother Jim who look...
You keep riding but a yell behind you makes you glance back: Tom McDaniels has been shot in the chest and he slowly falls from his horse to the ground. You and your surviving companions concentrate on outracing your pursuers across the prairie and though they follow you all day at nightfall they finally break off the p...
You and Tom split off from the other two and ride south. For five days you make your way out of West Virginia and across Tennessee until you feel confident you have left your pursuit behind you but you are mistaken. One afternoon as you are trotting your horses along a rocky hill path several lawmen suddenly rise from ...
Your aim is perfect and Ladd jerks as four bullets slam into his chest, knocking him to the ground. Fleeing the property you decide it is better to get out of Missouri and heading south to join Bob and Cole. Most of the newspapers, which were initially supportive of the James brothers after the attack on their family, ...
Raising your pistol you shoot the old farmer in the head killing him. Fleeing the scene rapidly you and your companions take to the woods where you live in hiding. Reading newspapers you learn that the Pinkerton Detective Agency are sending one of their Agents, Jack Ladd, to investigate Dan Askew's murder. As Ladd also...
You go with the James boys and Clell to hide out near St Joseph where you read in newspapers that Bud was identified as one of the Muncie train robbers and shot while trying to escape prison in Kansas City. His death saddens you all and drives you into hiding but in January 1875 you read even more incredible news in th...
One winter's day you and your companions ride out to the train tracks near the town of Muncie. You start a fire right next to the tracks and hide in the trees: sure enough when the train comes down the line the driver sees the fire and stops the train. While Bob and Cole take the driver hostage you, Frank and Jesse boa...
"Ok, I'm coming out," you call wearily and open the hotel door to find a pistol pointing at your face. You and Bud are promptly taken to the Kansas City Jail but as you are taken to a cell a commotion breaks out a few cells away as a prisoner grabs a policeman who has got too close to the cells. The two lawmen escortin...
You join Bud in going to Kansas City where you both check into a hotel and begin celebrating your success at the train robbery by frequenting local bars. Unfortunately one night Bud drinks too much and brags to some girls that he helped rob the Muncie Train, they promptly tell some local lawmen. That night you are woke...
One winter's day you and your companions ride out to the train tracks near the town of Muncie. You start a fire right next to the tracks and hide in the trees: sure enough when the train comes down the line the driver sees the fire and stops the train. While Bob and Cole take the driver hostage you, Frank and Jesse boa...
Riding into the town of Austin you and your companions make inquiries about the local stagecoach routes before heading south and hiding in some trees to waylay a coach on its route. The hold-up goes smoothly, the coach is stopped and the passengers forced to dismount before being stripped of their valuables. Mounting u...
Hiding out at the Pitts Farm you feel confident of avoiding detection because though both you and Clell are well-known outlaws Bill Chadwell and Charlie Pitts have never been connected with any crime and you rely on those two to go into town for all your supplies and newspapers. You read how the James and Younger boys ...
Hiding out at the Pitts Farm you feel confident of avoiding detection because though both you and Clell are well-known outlaws Bill Chadwell and Charlie Pitts have never been connected with any crime and you rely on those two to go into town for all your supplies and newspapers. You read how the James and Younger boys ...
Taking the hammer and the bar you pry up several rails and toss them to one side. You and the rest of the Gang then take cover in the trees near the track and wait for the train. When the train comes down the line you are astonished by how fast it is going. The driver sees the damage to the track and slams on the brake...
Riding with the James boys you soon get back to their Farm where you hide out for a time until one night there is a knock on the door. Frank and Jesse's mother Zerelda opens it and a young man steps in. He claims he is a worker looking for work in the area and heard there might be a place in the James Farm. Zerelda lea...
Keen to expand into new areas of criminal achievement Jesse has heard of a wealthy store owner in the little Arkansas town of Bentonville. Sure enough one evening you all ride into town and dismount outside, while the others hold the horses you and Cole enter the store and at gunpoint force the solitary owner to hand o...
Your shot hits the man in the back of the head and he falls from his horse. While Jim runs over to check if he is alive John spurs his horse after the wounded lawmen and chases him straight across a field towards a copse of trees, dropping his shotgun as he goes and drawing a pistol which he fires at the man. You spur ...
You and your two friends go into hiding at the Younger Farm for a time but one morning you read in the papers that Frank and Jesse have killed a Pinkerton Detective near their Farm and you decide you'd better leave. After traveling all night you are hiding out at a friend's farm where you hear men making inquiries abou...
Keen to expand into new areas of criminal achievement Jesse has heard of a wealthy store owner in the little Arkansas town of Bentonville. Sure enough one evening you all ride into town and dismount outside, while the others hold the horses you and Cole enter the store and at gunpoint force the solitary owner to hand o...
In the pre-dawn morning light you and the rest of the James-Younger Gang assemble outside the busy little town of Adair. Cole and John have brought along their brothers Jim and Bob to join in the robbery. Jim is a steady veteran who you fought alongside during the Civil War, though he seems reluctant to be involved in ...
You fire a shot that hits one of the men in the hand. He yells in pain but a moment later the four customers have scrambled out the door leaving the three of you alone in the bank with the dead teller on the floor behind the counter. "Quickly, grab the money" you tell the others and moving fast you snatch up all the mo...
You fire a shot that hits one of the men in the hand. He yells in pain but a moment later the four customers have scrambled out the door leaving the three of you alone in the bank with the dead teller on the floor behind the counter. "Quickly, grab the money" you tell the others and moving fast you snatch up all the mo...
You and Clell hide out at the Miller Farm for a few months until one evening there is a knock on the door. Clell goes to answer it and you hear a voice declare "Clell Miller, you are under arrest." You are sitting in the kitchen and springing to your feet you raise to the back door. As you do you hear a voice yell halt...
You shoot the cashier in the chest and he staggers back, blood spreading across his shirt front. Jesse and Cole shoot him as well and the cashier falls dead to the ground. Instantly the four customers spring to their feet and start running for the door. "Stop them," Jesse yells. > You let someone else deal with them an...
As you have done so many times you and your companions ride into a small town early one morning. While Frank, Clell and John hold the horses outside you lead Jesse and Cole into the bank. Inside four customers are sitting at a table talking while one smiling cashier waits behind the counter. The three of you walk up to...
Your bullet hits the teller in the head, blasting a circle of red blood and gore onto the wall behind him. As the teller slumps dead in his chair Frank and Jesse fire more bullets into him. The customer screams "Murder!" and starts running past the three of you towards the door to the bank. "Shoot him," Jesse yells. > ...
You join the James brothers at their farm where you live quietly for a few weeks until one morning Frank returns from town with a newspaper and a grim expression. "Yankee lawmen killed John and Ol," he says tersely. "George is in prison charged with bank robbery." You and Jesse crowd round to read how your three co...
Raising your pistol you fire back: your shot hits the man on the side, spins him on the spot and he falls to the ground. Turning your horse you spur after your companions and moments later you are out of town and riding across the countryside. You ride hard until you are back across the border in Missouri and there you...
You and John go to his Farmhouse where you are the only residents and for a few days you live in peace. One night you are woken by an alarming crackling sound and springing from your bed you see smoke filling the house. A glance through the windows shows dozens of men outside armed with all sorts of weapons from guns t...
The four of you arrive at the Shepherd Farm where you hide out for a time until, less than two weeks after the Russellville Robbery John returns to the Farm with a bombshell: all four of you have been identified as participants in the Russellville Robbery and warrants have been issued for your arrests. "We need to sp...
You and George set off towards the Miller Farm but you never get there. One evening you reach the little town of St Joseph and as you are trotting your horses down the street two lawmen armed with rifles emerge from an alleyway to your right. "Hold up your hands men, you are under arrest!" one calls out. George immedia...
The four of you arrive at the Shepherd Farm where you hide out for a time until, less than two weeks after the Russellville Robbery John returns to the Farm with a bombshell: all four of you have been identified as participants in the Russellville Robbery and warrants have been issued for your arrests. "We need to sp...
You stay with Ol hiding out at the Shepherd Ranch while the other two clear out and for three days all is peaceful. One morning you hear a knock on the front door and you hear Ol go and open it. "Hello Ol," a voice says. "I am Detective Bligh, this is Detective Gallagher and you are under arrest." There is a bang and a...
Raising your pistol you fire back: your shot hits the man on the side, spins him on the spot and he falls to the ground. Turning your horse you spur after your companions and moments later you are out of town and riding across the countryside. You ride hard until you are back across the border in Missouri and there you...
You fire at the lawman, by luck or skill you shoot him through the heart and without a sound he falls to the ground, his pistol discharging as it hits the ground though the bullet goes wide. John has shot the lawman who wounded him again and the man has sunk to his knees, though he is still trying to raise his gun arm ...
You travel south with Cole to Texas and join his brother John and John's employer Tom McDaniels at McDaniels's Ranch. You are in Texas when you learn that in a series of raids in Missouri your friends John Jarette and Ol Shepherd have been killed and George Shepherd has been arrested and imprisoned after they were iden...
Another day home from school… "I'm telling you Ms. Zelamoyer is a witch, there's no way she could know what we did unless she read our minds!" David says. "Yeah maybe she's even a demon in human disguise!" Tom adds "Or maybe you two looked guilty as hell and laughed the loudest when she sat on the thumbtacks you p...
There's no point in trying to convince Rita, she's obviously looking to marry into money, though there's a lot better ways she could go about it. Ular seems like a cool guy and probably should know the type of girl she is anyway. As Rita walks off, you look for Ular and see him slowly coming out of his dark corner. ...
You figure you'll be able to stretch out your alcohol supply just long enough to get your next shipment and you'll just have to hope for the best. That very night you're already getting comments that the ale doesn't taste quite as strong, this results in the miners ordering MORE ale since they aren't getting drunk o...
You tell Calwin you're not paying him anything more than he's getting and that it's complete bullshit that he's jacking up his prices like this. Calwin goes on a rant about supply and demand and how he's doing you a favor. The argument heats up, but ultimately ends when your mother grabs your dad's Troll Gun from un...
You head down to the cellar and start constructing your still while trying to remember everything you learned in those chemistry classes. The main thing is to make something strong that isn't going to make folks go blind. You work on it over the course of several days during your spare time as the real alcohol suppl...
You're willing to stick it out a little longer, but you really need to use a few short cuts now. The brew from the still is good enough for the miners and you won't have to deal with a middleman anymore. Your mother isn't happy with this idea. She wasn't thrilled with it before, but realized it was necessary at the ...
A year has passed and you're back in college, though it's not as much fun as it was when you didn't need to worry about where your tuition was coming from or having something like a job. Finding time to study while running the inn is difficult, but fortunately Wendy picks up the slack when you're not around. You've ...
You can't afford to fire her and you don't even want to risk threatening her with it lest she call your bluff and leave. "Will you listen to yourself for one moment? All I'm saying is to get your kids in line because they're not just fucking up MY business, but they're actually fucking up yours by proxy! If you won'...
After her class you approach Dr. Gossey about your situation, she of course is sympathetic. "Yes, yes, I understand. It must be hard for you, running a business like that and attending school, let alone paying for it all. I'm not exactly sure how I can help though, I have hired all the student assistants I need and ...
While you hate to be uncompromising dick, you need to stand your ground on this situation. Even if Wendy does get her kids in line, who is to say they won't relapse later. Really you've got more important things to worry about than some little brats that aren't even yours. "Sorry Wendy, it'll just be better in the l...
No shortage of parties going on right now and getting a drunk co-ed will be just like getting a whore except you won't have to travel as far. You head down to the popular night club near campus called the Wild Princess. After standing in line for an hour, you're told by the bouncer that they don't need people like y...
Given that Dr. Kovas rarely compliments anyone, he has to like you a lot. You decide it might be best to take advantage of that fact. After his class you approach him about your situation, but he doesn't seem very sympathetic. "Yes, yes, I'm sure your problems are very important to you, but my question is why are yo...
Given that Dr. Kovas rarely compliments anyone, he has to like you a lot. You decide it might be best to take advantage of that fact. After his class you approach him about your situation, but he doesn't seem very sympathetic. "Yes, yes, I'm sure your problems are very important to you, but my question is why are yo...
Again, the inn isn't really like how it used to be where you'd get miners coming in wanting some food with their ale. Nowadays you just get plain ol' drunks coming in. Even the adventurers don't normally order anything fancy. You figure you'll just cut down on food shipments and jack the price up so only adventurers or...
A year has passed and you're back in college, though it's not as much fun as it was when you didn't need to worry about where your tuition was coming from or having something like a job. Finding time to study while running the inn is difficult, but fortunately Wendy picks up the slack when you're not around. You've ...
A year has passed and you're back in college, though it's not as much fun as it was when you didn't need to worry about where your tuition was coming from or having something like a job. Finding time to study while running the inn is difficult, but fortunately Wendy picks up the slack when you're not around. You've ...
If it's only for a couple days, what can it hurt and you're getting a good deal on his alcohol, so you figure it's a good idea. This does not go well with your mother who says you're going to get the pair of you further into debt. It takes some time, but eventually you manage to convince her that the money you're savin...
You shake your head; you can't walk away from this. Your mom might be in serious trouble because this loan. Selling the inn might not even be enough to cover it and even if it is, she probably won't have enough to fall back on. You aren't angry with her, but you do feel a little anger towards your dad for getting he...
Getting Olaf and Silence seems unlikely now, you're sure you could probably travel the seedy underbelly of Klyton and hire some other Crimson Talon thugs, but you'd really rather not. Besides, you actually "know" David and Tom to a degree so you feel slightly more comfortable with them. "Splendid! Now David and Tom,...
While all the rest of the ideas seem okay, you really think you need to act quickly on this. It'll be ugly and ruthless, but unfortunately necessary. Since everyone is against Rita's idea though, you decide not to say anything about it and say you're going to have to think everything over later. When everyone's away...
A few years have passed and your medical schooling is complete and you now work at the Klyton hospital as a real doctor. You haven't been able to really enjoy your success though. Sure, you have your own apartment and you make a decent living to afford the things you want, but you're always waiting for the other sho...
The hospital is probably a better bet. Besides you can get the higher quality stuff there. You doubt if you'll have that much of a problem getting the supplies too, it isn't an uncommon thing for a few things to go missing here and there. "We better go back to the hospital, I'd rather be on the safe side." "Good ma...
The hospital is probably a better bet. Besides you can get the higher quality stuff there. You doubt if you'll have that much of a problem getting the supplies too, it isn't an uncommon thing for a few things to go missing here and there. "We better go back to the hospital, I'd rather be on the safe side." "Good ma...
You need professionals for this and David and Tom don't qualify. You ask for directions to the underground gladiator matches, but Mr. Reynolds still insists on a bit of money for that information, so you have no choice but to pay him. After running back and forth to his office and the inn, (And incurring some questi...
You need professionals for this and David and Tom don't qualify. You ask for directions to the underground gladiator matches, but Mr. Reynolds still insists on a bit of money for that information, so you have no choice but to pay him. After running back and forth to his office and the inn, (And incurring some questi...
A year has passed and you're back in college, though it's not as much fun as it was when you didn't need to worry about where your tuition was coming from or having something like a job. Finding time to study while running the inn is difficult, but fortunately your mother picks up some of the slack when you really n...
A year has passed and you're back in college, though it's not as much fun as it was when you didn't need to worry about where your tuition was coming from or having something like a job. Finding time to study while running the inn is difficult, but fortunately your mother picks up some of the slack when you really n...
A year has passed and you're back in college, though it's not as much fun as it was when you didn't need to worry about where your tuition was coming from or having something like a job. Finding time to study while running the inn is difficult, but fortunately your mother picks up some of the slack when you really n...
Eliza's idea might be a little complicated, but if you're going sic the Klyton militia on Frank for something, you'd better at least have some sort of evidence to back it up, real or imagined. "Okay Eliza, we'll go with your plan." "What?" Rita exclaims. "Are you serious?" Wendy adds. " Oh, um really?" Eliza says...
You go back to the inn. You don't know what the hell you're doing, but you're doing it. "Back so soon doc?" Rita says as you ignore her and look for Eliza. You instinctively head back to the kitchen where you find her talking to some of the other staff members. "Eliza, I have to talk to you!" you say anxiously...
A few years have passed and your medical schooling is complete and you now work at the Klyton hospital as a real doctor. Your personal life has changed quite a bit over the past few years as well. You currently live in an apartment near the hospital with a fellow medical student. Actually she's your girlfriend. It s...
A few years have passed and your medical schooling is complete and you now work at the Klyton hospital as a real doctor. Your personal life has changed quite a bit over the past few years as well. You currently live in an apartment near the hospital with a fellow medical student. Actually she's your girlfriend. It s...
A year has passed and you're back in college, though it's not as much fun as it was when you didn't need to worry about where your tuition was coming from or having something like a job. Finding time to study while running the inn is difficult, but fortunately your mother picks up some of the slack when you really n...
You get the impression Eliza might be a little too shy for this sort of thing, so Rita seems like a better choice. Rita's also the most extroverted and will most likely prefer doing this than having to work at the inn. "Alright Rita, starting tomorrow, you're working the streets…er so to speak. Don't think you still...
You tell him if he wants to spend a few days here that's fine, but he's paying like everyone else, either that he can lower the price of his alcohol to cover the cost. Calwin protests saying that he should be put up for free, but you're unmoved. Eventually he tells you to forget it and tells his lackeys to just carry h...
You shake your head; you can't walk away from this. Your mom might be in serious trouble because this loan. Selling the inn might not even be enough to cover it and even if it is, she probably won't have enough to fall back on. You aren't angry with her, but you do feel a little anger towards your dad for getting he...
This guy is a complete creep and going to be nothing but trouble. You'd rather continue paying the Klyton supplier. Calwin grumbles a lot about wasting his time, but leaves without too much trouble. While your mother agrees with your decision, it doesn't really help you in the money department and by the end of the ...
"You're selling the inn?!" "I have to! I can't run this place myself." "Well that's what you have staff for!" "Oh son…(sniff) I don't think you know the entire situation. You haven't been around as much over the years." "Mom, I always meant to visit more, but…" "No, it's not that. In fact I'm glad you had fun at c...
"You're selling the inn?!" "I have to! I can't run this place myself." "Well that's what you have staff for!" "Oh son…(sniff) I don't think you know the entire situation. You haven't been around as much over the years." "Mom, I always meant to visit more, but…" "No, it's not that. In fact I'm glad you had fun at c...
Another day home from school… "I'm telling you Ms. Zelamoyer is a witch, there's no way she could know what we did unless she read our minds!" David says. "Yeah maybe she's even a demon in human disguise!" Tom adds "Or maybe you two looked guilty as hell and laughed the loudest when she sat on the thumbtacks you p...
You… think too much. It's always been your issue. You've had twelve miserable years in the world, an existence wracked with headaches, horrible, coma-like states known as your "deep dreams", and horrible, scratching and never-ceasing voices that knaw at your sanity. You've been left frail, pale and very skinny from you...
These beasts would never simply charge into the path of a fierce predator… unless a fiercer predator was chasing them. "Wait! Wait! Attack!" you shout. "What?" Duggin asks, annoyed as your outburst causes him to miss a shot. "There's something chasing the beasts!" Duggin raises an eyebrow, before barking out an...
You grab a rock, swinging it forward and smashing it into the side of the Gretchen's face. It smacks into the ground, and you climb atop it and smack it into the creature's skull again and again. The Gretchen's head is crushed, and you let out a relieved sigh. The relief is short-lived, though, as the orks continue to ...
You grab a rock, swinging it forward and smashing it into the side of the Gretchen's face. It smacks into the ground, and you climb atop it and smack it into the creature's skull again and again. The Gretchen's head is crushed, and you let out a relieved sigh. The relief is short-lived, though, as the orks continue to ...
You close your eyes, opening them once more and finding yourself less than a step behind the soldiers, who look around, confused, not noticing you. Time to strike. > You charge them with psychically-enhanced fists You charge forward, as psychic energy floods into your fists. You grab one, yanking her head off and fling...
"What?" Cain grunts. > You say "How old are you?" "How old? I don't know. Time in the cold pod makes it hard to tell. There's no sun, no days, no minutes," Cain says, seemingly pondering this. "This subject is roughly five years, three months and two days." "Ah... interesting," Cain remarks.
"What?" Cain grunts. > You say "How many men do you have?" "Do I look like I've counted many?"