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MSP_POD_NLP

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i actually just made something up, but it made me uncomfortable to say it out loud.
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Female
without a glass of water or hot pop, bitch. you ain't get no pop either.
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Female
see, here's the thing for thanksgiving. i didn't even want to do it. i didn't want any part of this shit.
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i want all the stuffing. i want all the bread rolls.i'm going to go ahead and say what i said to you and-
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this moth is flying around, and she's swatting at it. it kamikaze dive bombs right into her plate. it was kind of fucked up. i was like, "oh, shit, that sucks." but-
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Female
i'm talking like scarlet o'hara. like ... i thought she was going to faint. then she started crying and-
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i can get you another plate. i'm just standing right by that table. and she's like, i'm so upset. i don't know what to do. and i was like...
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so it's like the food network crack. i just like it better. i mean, yeah, it leaves like a little egg right there, but then you just wipe it up with a clorox wipe. or when you're going to just leave egg on your counter like an asshole.
H
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i am mad now. i get so mad about stuff that ...i'm going to come over your house and crack every egg on your counter.i don't-
X
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just a way of cracking eggs. it's either on the bowl and you get eggshells in your food and have to pick them out, or you do it on-i-
D
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justified, i meant to say. not righteous.i'm upset about what eggs are. all of a sudden, at 30 years old, you just figured it out.
H
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chicken eggs. so i'm going to give you shit about just generally everything that i can.
H
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"mom, i told you to give me a break. i don't want to be around you. you're so fucking annoying. get away from me, and i mean it."whoa.
A
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Female
middle of the ... in a crowded store. everybody stopped and they were like, "what is she going to" ... i thought she was going to start beating her mother.
U
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Female
and she said that she heard the lady say, well, you got...
U
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Female
"the hospital on thanksgiving last year, and now this. all you do is ruin the holidays."
D
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Female
the lady might've been drunk or something. she was real belligerent, and it was early in the afternoon. it was like 2:00 in the afternoon, and she was fucking buck. i was like-
D
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Female
be in my hometown now. louisville is embarrassing the fuck out of me.
X
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Female
it's not just louisville. somebody got shot in a mall parking lot over a parking spot, shot and killed.
D
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Female
but they okay, they like...
H
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it's a staple gun, but it was making you nervous. you didn't like it.mm-mm (negative). i didn't like it. it was giving me some kind of aneurysm.yeah, the other day-
H
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Female
you know what i don't like? seeing snake skin because you know whatever came out of it is bigger than...
H
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i know this grass is all dead and shit. it wouldn't even break my fall. i'm just stabbing...
H
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don't know if you're close enough like that though. are you? well, you might be.
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he's fucking old. it's like his midlife crisis car.
X
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Female
yeah and didn't that end horribly?he was okay.
H
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Female
i wonder where that snake is, for real, now that you're talking about that. because all the shit that's around your tree is real viney and looks like a snake, so it could-
H
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Female
that's someone who shouldn't [inaudible 00:04:38].
H
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Female
you know what's going to happen is, if you fall, i'm not going to be able to do anything except just be fallen upon.
S
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what do you think? he just slid into them while we cut them?maybe.
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we were-we thought that the snake might've been in jungle.so we were like-
H
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but not like, hey girl, you sexy. or like, hey girl, you funny.
H
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like sure i am.you always do... that's your move. the finger guns and the tiny jumpy circle.
H
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Female
everybody's booty dancing and i'm like-
H
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Female
hey, if you like to snap, you like to snap. the rhythm is going to get you. rhythm is going to get you.
H
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trump was elected president. that was one of the memes. that's all.
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well all the cuban people were partying in miami in the streets.but isn't this.
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i knew they sell it at spanish mexican restaurants. there you go.
H
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i feel like there's more stuff i want to talk about, but we're coming up on an hour and i think we need to save it for milk and cookies.
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i have no idea what the parameters are. i know there are actual lines.thousands, i-
X
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make thousands of dollars a year.thousands of-i will-
H
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all right. we're back. i like doing that. that feels satisfying.it's like those-
H
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i didn't kick with the inside of my shin. that first kick was just really hard, like-
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mixed feelings is a shameful program containing foul language, tasteless humor.
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this podcast is intended for mature audiences. listener discretion is advised.
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he's our president elect. he's not quite the president yet.
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too late though. because if they would've come out with these joe biden memes, at least a couple years ago, i feel like -
H
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can you do that? is that a thing?and then in 2020, michelle would go, yeah, i wonder if that's a thing.i don't know. did you see the thing today that.
H
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her, whatever the fuck her name is.melania.oh.
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yeah. i'm like, "no, you" ... then i just looked at her, i'm like, "it just didn't work out." she go, "oh, he cheat?" i said, "yeah."oh, boy.she goes, "mine too, girl. it don't matter if you doctor, you hot, you skinny, you fine, they cheat. they all cheat."
D
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Female
she goes, "i gave mine three chances, three chances and he could not stay off the internet, girl. i had to say buh-bye."
H
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it's like, "i'm just here for a physical," whatever.
H
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the lady who, the physician's assistant-
H
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slash receptionist had told me, she goes, don't complain about anything, because your physical's covered. if you say one thing is wrong with you, we have to charge you $25.
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Female
it was awful. it was like i came home and i felt okay, and then just a few minutes after sitting down and just hanging out for a second, it felt like -
X
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Female
just had to get my blood drawn and i really didn't get bad. i mean, they took like four tubes, i guess that was a lot.
N
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no, but anyways, that kind of sucked.well, i'm glad that your body took care of the goats.
S
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but a little more strict starting off i think, just because everyone is gonna want to be careful. so -
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in most instances you have to have a 90-
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i think it's going to vary doctor to doctor how they bill out the licenses.
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i think there are going to be some doctors that will on the spot diagnose you and just give you an exam and you can answer questions, kind of like how they have in california,
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or a diagnosis, rather. hold on, let me see.
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they were like, how much did you spend out of your own money for this? and he said like $8,000 or something like that. and then he goes, my kids will all get 2 million less when i die or whatever.
H
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sex. he's really great. ding.
H
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yeah. that was good news. and did you see that -
H
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Female
colorado? in denver, you're allowed to smoke in public now?
N
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Female
log. he is running with a big ass log.he is running with a tree. with a fucking tree trunk. just running with it.
U
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effortlessly. i mean, he's kind of making a face as though there's some minimal effort in this, but i feel like he could build at least two houses within a week.
H
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so i guess we can rewind a little bit to election night. i don't know anybody watched the "end of the world podcast" with joe rogan, bill buhr.
H
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i'm just really excited because there's all these really good comedy-
H
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it's either there or gainesville, and gainesville is just a college town. there's nothing else there, so i really would not want to spend the night there, really. plus, i'm almost 30 years old, so i feel like everyone would be like-
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"kind of bullshit is this? this doesn't even look like a real id. this looks like shit." i'm like, "it's"-
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i think it was lighter fluid. i think they... i'm like.
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about.i don't know. i guess you can make bombs with it.
O
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people.i don't think they were, because i remember i was ... i didn't even think about it, and i went to the-
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all of a sudden. well...kind of. i don't know.
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i don't know.
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it's been a long time coming. fuck you. it's like-
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but okay, so he made them go real crazy and they got behind... people who wouldn't normally go for all these...
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basically, in this weird way, he is the whipping boy.
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and then they just go on a tangent and just bash the fuck out of that person.
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and you know, they may be like, i'm sorry i didn't mean anything. but inside...
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he didn't really do anything that bad. fuck everybody. everyone's crazy. i identify with that situation. i think that goes hand in hand with the acting-
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i mean, he's smart. he's a smart guy. he's not an idiot. people want to think he's an idiot, but he's not a bagillionaire...
H
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i think he knew exactly what he was doing the whole time. i think he was super calculated. when people thought that he was being a loose cannon, it was all calculated. i feel like.
H
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to where all the liberals now are like fuck the electoral college. we need to get rid of that shit.
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he wanted to shake up politics so bad that he was willing to be the martyr to do it.
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the thing. a lot of people aren't going to like me saying it just because it's going to sound pro-trump, and i'm not, just so that we start this off on the right foot.
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but i would like more details on that. does he really think that-
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but the thing that was driving me crazy is that...
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but even as of monday of this week, almost a week after the election, people were still-
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you're really going to choose the people in your life that have always been in your life if they get to stay or not, based on who they voted for in this presidential election?and then the other thing too...is that really a qualifier?
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... crying his eyes out, fucking hyperventilating. he's trying to follow her home and she's screaming at him and his little brother is crying and dragging her for fucking-
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people need to keep in mind it's only 50% of the registered voters voted.
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... what everyone knew was a shady ass project.
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i mean, not everybody, but most people knew that the whole election-
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... half the time, especially in the primaries, they just get the... they're like, "who wants a shot?" and they're like, "i'll have a go."
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go back to just fighting on the internet about things that don't have to do with politics. here are like...
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here's one thing i do like, i guess, about donald trump. this is-
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the whole time everyone was saying, "if you're voting for a third party, you're wasting your vote." but then on election night when it started to swing in donald trump's-
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