id int64 1 7.31M | subreddit stringclasses 108
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101 | daddit | The only thing that would make the analogy complete would be that you also paid for the shake. So basically the guy who sold you the straw is now keeping you from drinking the shake you paid for, just so he can shake down the milkshake seller for some more money. |
102 | daddit | It's the infrastructure that we need to argue. Cable companies are crying about costs of not being able to support the bandwidth....they aren't "pinching for no reason." They have a reason, albeit a lame one where they stole taxpayer $. If that's solved for, it's easier to get everyone on board. It's hard to just te... |
103 | daddit | Tweet this to all members of congress, FCC, Comcast and other ISPs, Consumer Groups, EFF and social media mains. Brilliant. |
104 | daddit | Then why are democrats hell bent on raising taxes by charging people by the mile they drive in California? Use more, pay premiums no? |
105 | daddit | A valid argument based on a straw man. Love it |
106 | daddit | I think you're a liar who just watched *There Will Be Blood*. That's cool though cause I like that movie. Enjoy the karma! |
107 | daddit | Then the Government tells him what Milkshakes he can have and taxes the ice cream guy. Before you know it, Free Milkshakes now cost $150/month. |
108 | daddit | I call b*llsh*t |
109 | daddit | Parenting: You're doing it right. |
110 | daddit | All the people crying /r/thathappened!!1! Are pathetic and annoying. No one gives a fuck. |
111 | daddit | Did your son also explain that the police are going to start coming in and determining what flavors are allowable and which flavors you shouldn't be allowed to have? |
112 | daddit | The only thing I disagree with is the "free milkshakes" part. 1) You have to pay to connect to the internet, so if the internet is the milkshake, its not free. 2) Calling the milkshake free implies the store owner isn't really that much in the wrong, because hes giving you it for free anyway (which he isnt really), ... |
113 | daddit | This is damned good. You're doing something quite right, sir. |
114 | daddit | >Using straws in 2015 > not cutting the closed cup openwith a knife. > not applying obvious common sense |
115 | daddit | I want to use s spoon instead of a straw. |
116 | daddit | This is why I train at sucking golf balls through garden hoses. |
117 | daddit | i don't care i just want more money |
118 | daddit | And then the NSA has a straw that reaches accrooooooooss the room and it starts to drink your milkshake. THEY. DRINK. YOUR. MILKSHAKE! THEY DRINK IT UP! *SLUUUUUURP* http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a55/corduroy2l/-i-drink-your-milkshake--630-75.jpg |
119 | daddit | Change the analogy to refer to the pipes of the Internet and you might just connect |
120 | daddit | I still didn't get it ಠ_ಠ What do you mean by pinching?! |
121 | daddit | Buy that kid a milkshake and then put him in Congress please. |
122 | daddit | "Don't pinch my straw" is a great name for a net neutrality campaign. |
123 | daddit | ELY9 |
124 | daddit | ELI. I. DRINK. YOUR. MILKSHAKE! |
125 | daddit | The most important question...what flavor of ice cream? |
126 | daddit | J.E.B. Bush thinks telling the straw seller must cease and desist is "just crazy." |
127 | daddit | I'd like to hear his understanding of commercials on cable channels you pay for. |
128 | daddit | Tag it ELI9. |
129 | daddit | /r/notcirclejerk |
130 | daddit | >I don't care. I just want more money. This is the problem. If the motivation was something else, maybe it would make sense, but it isnt. |
131 | daddit | Hell, I already pay a monthly fee for the special BLAST straw! |
132 | daddit | This is great. I have always wondered why people don't cover the consumer angle more. I already paid for access to the Internet - that's literally the precise thing I am paying an ISP for. If the ISP then restricts my access to certain content then they are not delivering the product I paid for. |
133 | daddit | Does no memes allowed mean I can't post a meme in comments? I DON'T WANT TO ANGER THE REDDIT GODS! |
134 | daddit | Yeah, nooo... because the guy who sold the straw still has to maintain the straw, and pay taxes on the straw, and clean the straw, and replace the straw when the kid chews the ends up, or treats the straight straw like a bendy-straw and it breaks... And what about the neighbor's kid who blows bubbles down his straw mak... |
135 | daddit | Well the problem is that competing straw sellers are banned from selling straws. That license is given by the politicians to only one straw seller who gets the unfair monopoly on straws in a particular city. Otherwise, another company would come along and sell straws maybe at a slightly higher price but with a policy o... |
136 | daddit | Tell your son that random internet dude said he's a cool dude. |
137 | daddit | YOU DRINK MY MILKSHAKE |
138 | daddit | How adorable, a 4th grade version of There Will Be Blood's final scene. |
139 | daddit | One thing that's missing from the analogy is where reclassifying the internet as a utility comes in. My guess is that it would be something on the lines of * Any straw company that pinches straws is going to get fined because of that practice due to the new regulations. If they keep doing it anyway, more regulations... |
140 | daddit | So what you're saying, is the internet is a series of "straws"? |
141 | daddit | Posted this on facebook, this was someone's reply. "Except it doesn't mention that the government is now also able to tell you what kind of milkshake to drink, and whether you are allowed to protest your treatment by the government to other consumers of milkshakes." |
142 | daddit | damn! get that boy an ice cream! |
143 | daddit | I'm giving you an up-dad for this |
144 | daddit | What if you are at a big concert with tons of people who are texting and tweeting etc... From what I understand how it currently works is that the isp can "allocate" more bandwidth to the area that everyone is at so that the Internet traffic doesn't come to a stand still due to the heavy use in that area. To do this th... |
145 | daddit | PRICELESS!! |
146 | daddit | This is better than the highway analogy. |
147 | daddit | Great analogy but then there is also the times when you pay the ice cream shop guy a little extra for premium content, on top of paying for the straw, and that straw-pinching asshole is still doing it! |
148 | daddit | OP's son 2016 |
149 | daddit | Can your son run for president? |
150 | daddit | While the landlord of the milkshake shop will only allow his brother-in-law sell the straws. |
151 | daddit | Where do I line up for these free milkshakes?? |
152 | daddit | Yes, this is something that I can understand. Stop squeezing the straw Verizon twc and comdick |
153 | daddit | I understand that this is a way too look at it, but from the providers side it's different. They give away milkshakes to everyone, but there's one guy who whenever he comes wants 10 milkshakes. They say to that guy who wants ten, we're going to squeeze your straw until you pay. |
154 | daddit | Can someone explain to me why it was so important to first implement the new regulations, and then release the actual text to the public? What was the hurry? I'm hearing that this is either the best thing ever, or the end of the internet as we know it. Why can't I just read the regs and find out for myself? |
155 | daddit | http://static.deathandtaxesmag.com/uploads/2013/04/macdowell.jpg |
156 | daddit | Well, seeing as the internet is really just a series of tubes this is pretty accurate. |
157 | daddit | Your son has more sense than congress. |
158 | daddit | Instead of /r/explainlikeimfive, there should be /r/explainlikeimincongress. Edit: /r/ExplainLikeImElected now exists, thanks /u/USER! |
159 | daddit | Yeah, but then they'd just go around putting their hand out and pinching straws. |
160 | daddit | Half of Congress understand this perfectly already...and are totally fine with it - they just play dumb. |
161 | daddit | Congress already knows what net neutrality is. It's just the money that stops them agreeing to it. Whether it's because of their connections to lobbyists or whatever reason, money is the root cause. In America, I've noticed you have to pay tips in order to subsidize waiter/waitress wages rather than tips being a serv... |
162 | daddit | Yes, but clearly this milkshake is cold, so what about global warming???? Motion passes, meeting adjourned. |
163 | daddit | [deleted] |
164 | daddit | It would be perfect since they already think the internet is just a series of tubes. |
165 | daddit | I don't understand why the GOP is fighting against it at this point. It seems like all they are doing is setting it up to be a campaign issue in the next election cycle. This issue is very likely to light a fire under younger demographics that tend to stay at home on election day. Why galvanize these voters? Whatev... |
166 | daddit | [I see that playing out like this.](http://crazyhyena.com/imagebank/g/funny-South-Park-cartoon-hate-crime-laws.jpg) |
167 | daddit | His son needs to run for congress. |
168 | daddit | Oh they know perfectly well what it's all about. They're just bought and paid for by the telecommunications companies. |
169 | daddit | You just want free milkshakes, you sly you! |
170 | daddit | His son should run for congress. This is what the Americsn people want, things broken down into the simplest, easiest ways to understand them. This is what the are the Tea Party a success- too bad they didn't really understand the basic concepts and just have "If the glove don't fit, chewbacka" arguments. |
171 | daddit | Careful, they'd be likely to turn it into a climate change debate. Southern congressman: "Ah, but if global warming doesn't actually mean everything's getting warmer as you say, then why do you want so many milkshakes, hmmm?" |
172 | daddit | WELL ELIIIIIIIIII? |
173 | daddit | Came here for the "There Will be Blood" reference. I'm satisfied. On with my day. |
174 | daddit | Goddam that's a good movie. Rental time tonight! |
175 | daddit | Enough of that talk. My son has a soul. So he is automatically disqualified. |
176 | daddit | [deleted] |
177 | daddit | I don't think they'd nuke Madagascar. Too many cute cartoon animals live there. |
178 | daddit | > Hey, it ain't like putting a bunch of 9 year olds in Congress would be any worse than what we have now. Yeah, they *might* actually listen.... |
179 | daddit | I bet his son could send an email at least |
180 | daddit | > , it ain't like putting a bunch of 9 year olds in Congress would be any worse than what we have now there would probably be more compassion and understanding as evil has not entirely seeped into a 9 year olds soul just yet. |
181 | daddit | [deleted] |
182 | daddit | I just played your username on my guitar. It's a nice chord progression. |
183 | daddit | My bs detector went off too, but then I thought about it and my 7 y.o. twin nieces have known how to find shit on YouTube for like 1.5 years. I remember them looking up 'cady pary' into google, google knew they were looking for Katy Perry and they were listening to the song they were looking for certainly faster than ... |
184 | daddit | I don't know- by the time I was about 9, I had to do "current events" for school. If a kid is sharp enough, I think it's definitely possible for him to have heard the phrase "net neutrality", and ask his dad about it. Again, possible for a bright little friend to have also heard that phrase, and be curious. Kids are sp... |
185 | daddit | I considered calling him out too, but I decided the analogy was good enough so I let it stand. Of course we could be wrong, but that would mean I am very out of touch with the intelligence level of children by age 9. |
186 | daddit | yeah, how are people this gullible? edit: It's not that kids aren't smart, all you people saying "my kid does this and that so smart kids exist". That's not the point. Children (yes, even genius kids) go through phases of psychological development. "Stages" if you will, made popular by the work of Piaget. Basical... |
187 | daddit | Upvoting you cause this never happened but i like the idea. This is a troll post |
188 | daddit | Thank you. |
189 | daddit | as long as they can keep paying corrupt politicians to make it illegal for any other straw shop to set up shop anywhere in your area. |
190 | daddit | While the big ISPs claim they are not monopolies they sure don't refrain from acting like they have monopoly powers and abusing that power as much as possible. |
191 | daddit | But they want to sell more straws... |
192 | daddit | Does dial up still exist? Do you still gotta put one of those AOL discs in and wait for the "dehrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr de do de do de do eghrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr you've got mail!" |
193 | daddit | And Congressional hearings. |
194 | daddit | That was always the funniest thing about Ted Stevens explanation, it wasn't too bad of an analogy. |
195 | daddit | Sad I had to scroll this far down to see this. By the way, what was the name of OP's son? |
196 | daddit | This complicates the milkshake |
197 | daddit | This actually helped me understand this analogy much better. Thank you for that. |
198 | daddit | I love how you're simplifying (read: complicating) a 9 year olds simplified analogy. |
199 | daddit | The light-bulb moment for my boss was "Imagine if your biggest competitor could pay to make your web site load more slowly or time-out, while his was lightning fast. What if they could just nail your front door shut?" |
200 | daddit | im 5 from the 60s i like it!! |
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