id int64 1 7.31M | subreddit stringclasses 108
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11,401 | daddit | Honestly, I miss those days. I remember bedtimes that ended with "This is it: one more question." It got him into the habit of remembering the unanswered ones the following morning. |
11,402 | daddit | My step son doesn't say boo for most of the day, but as soon as it's shower time at night he just talks non-stop for about 15 minutes to his mother |
11,403 | daddit | old but good: https://www.reddit.com/r/daddit/comments/vp8wqs/current_mood_on_a_friday_with_my_kids_its_not_yet/ |
11,404 | daddit | Shut…da fuq…uuuuup…….. |
11,405 | daddit | When it’s bed time and my kids want to play 30 questions I remind them they could’ve asked me those same questions well before bed time and they can ask me them tomorrow lol |
11,406 | daddit | I fear this as close to being a Jedi that I’ll ever be. |
11,407 | daddit | I did that once with my daughter. She got up, open the door and said: "That is very bad, Dad. Don't do that." I said I was sorry. Next day, while I was asking about what she wanted for lunch, she looked at me, closed the door and kept silent until I opened up. Damn. |
11,408 | daddit | Putting on that music they play at awards shows when acceptance speeches get cut off. |
11,409 | daddit | Door closing: uh-huh, yep, ok goodnight. |
11,410 | daddit | You ask a lot of great questions…. Goodnight son |
11,411 | daddit | Teach me this secret of getting kids to sleep with their doors closed. |
11,412 | daddit | Mine just call for me until I end up sobbing into a tub of ice cream on the couch.. |
11,413 | daddit | Why? |
11,414 | daddit | 5pm, everyone is awake and sitting at the table: “what did you do at school today?” “I don’t know” 8:26pm, way past bedtime: “good night” “dad, today at school we ______, and then at lunch we had ______, but billy didn’t eat it because he says he has allergies, do I have any allergies? I’m glad I don’t have any aller... |
11,415 | daddit | Talking about the things we did is part of our normal bedtime routine so I get other diversions. Dad, what is water made from? What do squid eat? Dad, here’s a quick joke! |
11,416 | daddit | I do a version of this and ask my son to “please hold additional questions until the morning, and I will answer them all” and without fail he never remembers whatever it was the next day. |
11,417 | daddit | Also a good one: "what do YOU think?" |
11,418 | daddit | And some days, when you know you just can't handle the struggle that day.... "It's time for bed" "No" "Well, I tried. Carry on." |
11,419 | daddit | "I'm going to pour this water on your head to wash out the soap. I'm doing it at the count of 10. You have that many seconds to do any of the five hundred things we've discussed to make this easier." Dumps water on child who decided to not do anything. |
11,420 | daddit | Parenting begins at 3. Until then you're just keeping a little bag of meat alive. |
11,421 | daddit | 19 months. I’m taking notes. |
11,422 | daddit | It's the best part of the day when the little one is fed, washed, and tidy in their bed... finally, the dad can rest... |
11,423 | daddit | I just got my daughter (7 years old) to bed. She was pretty wound up (again) so, I sat with her until she fell asleep. Prior to closing her eyes, this is the conversation we had: Her: “Does everyone breathe at the same time?” Me: “We all have to breathe, so yes - everyone is breathing at the same time.” Her: “What h... |
11,424 | daddit | I hit our daughter with "my grandma is soo old that when she was your age they didn't have tv... And I don't mean they didn't own one, I mean **TVs didnt even exist!**" That kinda blew her mind enough that it stopped her thinking about death, and I told her that even when she's my age I still won't even be as old as... |
11,425 | daddit | Boo? That's one I haven't heard before. |
11,426 | daddit | Kids are savage. Lol. The other day, I told my 3yr old son that his behavior was unacceptable. He replied that I should stop and take a look in the mirror. I wasn't even mad, I just stood there a for a minute with my mouth open. |
11,427 | daddit | Lol that's cold! |
11,428 | daddit | Now after asking questions and letting me leave... She'll scream 30 minutes later and say "daddy give me a hug and I'll go to sleeeeep!". I can't help myself and go in there, only to be met with more questions |
11,429 | daddit | Savage |
11,430 | daddit | [Wrap it up!](https://media.tenor.com/84tGhY53tlQAAAAM/chappelles-show-guillermo-diaz.gif) |
11,431 | daddit | Step 1: spend years fighting them on it Step 2: wait until they’re old enough that they don’t care anymore. Easy! |
11,432 | daddit | I feel like I should call the police, because you definitely snuck into my house or have cameras mounted in there somewhere |
11,433 | daddit | I heard this in my daughters voice lol |
11,434 | daddit | Lol yes. I feel this |
11,435 | daddit | Too accurate… |
11,436 | daddit | Oh, [stories like this?](https://youtube.com/shorts/52-FbcZhRSs?feature=share) |
11,437 | daddit | Sounds like that neighbor kid in Home Alone https://youtu.be/PrNhoCVTAg4 |
11,438 | daddit | Somehow daughter no.1 will go from doing this to asleep in quite literally 30 seconds. Daughter no.2 will sit there twirling her hair for 30 minutes, make you think she's about to drop off then jump up and say something really random such as "Oh! Baby is asleep on sofa!" and you have to tell her it's ok, you'll go a... |
11,439 | daddit | > Dad, here’s a quick joke! Insert 5 minute rambling story where the punchline is "POOP". |
11,440 | daddit | Mine are making up riddles. These are absolutely terrible and not riddles. I give my honest opinion. This does not make them stop. |
11,441 | daddit | They're all going to come.back to him one day and you're going to regret it |
11,442 | daddit | Mine does "I won't remember later!" damn. |
11,443 | daddit | That just encourages them to keep talking :/ |
11,444 | daddit | I hate when I have to die on some stupid hill because I don't want them to think they can just give me a hard time and I'll back down from what I asked them to do. In grand scheme of things, an applesauce pouch before dinner isn't going to result in death, but I told you no, and you went into the pantry anyways and tr... |
11,445 | daddit | I recently told my kid: fine, stay up by yourself, I’m going to bed! Goodnight. He says: you can’t just leave me out here alone! Watch me. Kid tried to act tough for about 30 seconds before crawling in bed with me. |
11,446 | daddit | Child then screams about how you tried to drown them. I turned away from chopping vegetables (so I had a knife in my hand) to tell my son off for his attitude and he screamed that I was going to stab him. He’s still going on about how I threatened to stab him and this happened over a month ago! |
11,447 | daddit | Well my bag of meat is pretty fucking opinionated and a habitual line stepper. |
11,448 | daddit | 6 and 4. I'm still not ready |
11,449 | daddit | My wife doesn't like to wear pants around the house. She wakes up one day, sees our daughter running around with just undies, and says "where are your pants!" So of course my toddler says "where are your pants, mommy!" |
11,450 | daddit | I said this to my son a few weeks ago, and he told me " you made me this way" Wasn't sure how to feel after that one. |
11,451 | daddit | Damn |
11,452 | daddit | Gotcha |
11,453 | daddit | B |
11,454 | daddit | Or Timmy from Jurassic Park |
11,455 | daddit | You're only driving them to craft longer and more deceptive riddles driven purely by the vindictive spite that they will one day manage to stump you and claim victory in a battle of wits. This is your own doing. |
11,456 | daddit | I welcome the lightning round |
11,457 | daddit | I realize you're joking, but it also encourages them to stop and think about the problem before they jump to just asking someone else and not absorbing the information whatsoever. Not to say your kids can't be critical thinkers if you don't trick them into it, but it helps to develop a habit of coming up with a hypoth... |
11,458 | daddit | It always makes me feel like such an asshole haha. You don’t just get to not listen to me that’s not how this works!! |
11,459 | daddit | Yeah. My wife is 'marshmallow mommie' so I get stuck enforcing the rules. Oh well, not raising a brat, gotta stay firm. |
11,460 | daddit | Just tell him "we both know that's not true, if you keep telling people that, I'm really going to have to stab you so it's not a lie anymore" Better yet, don't lol |
11,461 | daddit | that is so true. They remember the most embarrassing things but can't remember where they put their shoes. |
11,462 | daddit | You'll love the age of 3 :) |
11,463 | daddit | Hey, fair is fair. She should have seen that coming. |
11,464 | daddit | My 3y/o clowned me in a similar way. I was trying to get him to wear a tee shirt under his sweat shirt and he asked me if I was wearing a tee shirt. I lied to his face and said yes, because I wasn’t at the time, and he goes let me see. You can surely guess that he went to school WITHOUT a tee shirt under his sweat shir... |
11,465 | daddit | I specifically meant when you're literally in the process of shutting the door wishing them a good night. My kids are the champions of asking me a serious question or requesting my help finding something right at the very last second But yes, there's honestly nothing better than hearing a kid's thought process about... |
11,466 | daddit | >You don’t just get to not listen to me that’s not how this works!! This is the crux of the matter, not the stupid thing the battle of wills is about. You can't really beat yourself for being consistent. It's a key component of security for a child. My kids have come to understand that, for better or worse, the one ... |
11,467 | daddit | Oh. My. God. The shoes! What is it with the mental blind spot for all children when it comes to shoes?!?! |
11,468 | daddit | I expected pancakes, but I did not communicate this and will instead scream because the thing was different from the thing in my head which, again, I never stated out loud. |
11,469 | daddit | Daddy I asked for BERRIES and you are supposed to know that means fucking GRAPES RAAAAAAAAHHHH |
11,470 | daddit | My 2.5 year old is usually furious after her nap. I'm like why are you mad, I would kill to have been sleeping instead of cleaning up after you lol |
11,471 | daddit | As someone with a 10 week old I'm feeling a lot like Ralph Wiggum on the bus "I'm in danger!" |
11,472 | daddit | I have a big Sunday planned: blueberry pancakes! I want to make a batch with my son for the first time. He will either adore every bite or lose his shit and fling his plate across the room. Or he'll adore every bite and *then* lose his shit and fling his plate across the room |
11,473 | daddit | Oh man I feel this |
11,474 | daddit | I feel this right in my bone marrow |
11,475 | daddit | My 3 year old is just a tiny ball of rage at all times lately. I don't want to get dressed! Carry him to the car while he screams about wanting to get dressed... Thank goodness he's so freaking cute. |
11,476 | daddit | NO COAT!!! I WANT SPRINKELER!!!! |
11,477 | daddit | Don't forget that it goes in both directions. Kids find joy in things that are mundane and boring to us. |
11,478 | daddit | No one in my life has ever talked to me - ever - as harshly as my own children do. I guess it’s also true that I’ve talked to anyone ever as harshly as I talk to my own mother |
11,479 | daddit | You shouldn't have cut them... |
11,480 | daddit | But I wanted the satisfaction of demanding these things! You making them preemptively doesn't leave me any time for tantrums! |
11,481 | daddit | The first half of that tweet, I thought it was going in a different direction. My brain was all, "but now I'm old and for whatever reason I'm incapable of sleeping in anymore, so I may as well get out of bed and do the damn dishes." |
11,482 | daddit | This is almost exactly a summary of last Sunday here. Special breakfast, sledding in fresh snow, hot chocolate, video games, Legos, cooking dinner together. Sounds perfect but the kids somehow managed to make it miserable: whining and screaming and complaining about everything. It's exhausting. |
11,483 | daddit | As someone with twin three year olds and an eighteen month old, I echo this. I dread when my sweet baby hits the tantrum stage and pray my twins have mellowed out first. Fortunately, the twins mostly throw tantrums one at a time. |
11,484 | daddit | Uch, Posts like these really make me depressed. 6mo here and the idea that it will only become more difficult really fucks with me. |
11,485 | daddit | I make my grandkids (both 3 and under) breakfast every morning, usually scrambled egg burritos. One day, we were out of tortillas, so I made the eggs and thought nothing of it. What a fool I was. Never had heard such displeasure and at such volume. Now, I make sure we're never out of tortillas. |
11,486 | daddit | So true, the condolences is that we were all that brat once upon a time. |
11,487 | daddit | My parents had it easy with me I guess. My mom called me "The Bottomless Pit" because I just ate everything. |
11,488 | daddit | You guys have 3 year olds that sleep in? |
11,489 | daddit | CLAW MACHINE HAS NO CHILDREN. HIS DAYS ARE FREE AND EASY. |
11,490 | daddit | The your greatest day of your life and add wake up having shit yourself. How old would you have to be before you could just roll with it and not let it bother you? |
11,491 | daddit | I have a memory burned into my head. My daughter woke up screaming in the middle of her night because her sock fell off. Not just like, "Daddy I'm scared" screaming. Like, "HOLY SHIT THE WORLD MUST BURN" screaming. I know she doesn't remember, but every few weeks I think about that night. Every few weeks I think about... |
11,492 | daddit | LOL reminds me of the scene at the end of Raya and the Last Dragon: "She cannot hear you, she is blinded by her own rage". I think about this often as my kids throw tantrums. |
11,493 | daddit | Or my son at 22 months old. "You can sleep in as late as you want, but you voluntarily wake up at 5:47 on the dot every day and then spend the next 2 hours yelling "back to sleep" at your parents while also fighting them when they try to put you back to sleep. |
11,494 | daddit | /u/USER |
11,495 | daddit | incredible. |
11,496 | daddit | This is the content I needed to read this morning. |
11,497 | daddit | Your kids sleep in?!? |
11,498 | daddit | This hits way harder than it should |
11,499 | daddit | LOL! This is excellent. Really needed to see this, this morning. |
11,500 | daddit | this made me bust out laughing - great share!! |
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