dlb/mentalreddit · Datasets at Hugging Face

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4,201	daddit	Yay yay yay! Glad it worked out for you in the end. It's definitely a rough path. Sorry you had to go through it all but it's worth it in the end.
4,202	daddit	Wait, dad? Are you Beans?? I mean the time kinda fits?
4,203	daddit	I was told 30 days. We're past that now so I guess we're keeping her.
4,204	daddit	I make the same face when I poop
4,205	daddit	Thanks for the invite
4,206	daddit	Wow... That is a very long journey. So glad you got your son! Hope he is doing well
4,207	daddit	Saving it for her wedding day. Can't wait to show her future spouse
4,208	daddit	Exactly what the plan is
4,209	daddit	It's my way of keeping the boys off her until she's older
4,210	daddit	She's not any less happier or suffering because of IVF. I was just making a joke She's the perfect baby and I love her to death.
4,211	daddit	If you don't want an extra one, get that fixed now. My wife and I did IVF because apparently I make so little sperm that they ran a bunch of tests to make sure something wasn't really wrong. Fortunately I had enough for IVF. So after baby #1 was born, my wife continued having sex as if I was infertile because I essentially was. A couple years later, my wife starts feeling ill. She said it felt like when she had to get her gall bladder out. Stomach pain that went away after she ate, lethargy, bleh feeling... Took her to the ER for the most expensive pregnancy test ever. I either started making more sperm or IVF makes a woman crazy fertile for a while. I've heard so many stories about natural kids after IVF though... I'm inclined to believe the latter.
4,212	daddit	agreed
4,213	daddit	Ohhhh hohoho, just you wait my friend, just you wait.
4,214	daddit	Our toddler has sad weeks. We’re in one now. It’s all sad or rage, or just calmly staring at a wall. I’m going to need therapy after this
4,215	daddit	That last panel with mom falling out of her chair laughing is definitely in my top ten cartoon panels of all time.
4,216	daddit	And Congratulations to you and you and your wife!
4,217	daddit	That would be printed on canvas and hung right next to the front door.
4,218	daddit	literally the best line in that movie
4,219	daddit	Gomez, get those out of his mouth…
4,220	daddit	" If your men are normal to well endowed, the cup will be too small." Oh good. They should fit just fine.
4,221	daddit	That's amazing! And apparently so in demand that they're sold out lol.
4,222	daddit	Yeah, I texted everyone a picture the first night and got a lot of "well... she's definitely yours" responses.
4,223	daddit	Lol love this
4,224	daddit	I think you have to make her giggle for the first time. It resets everything.
4,225	daddit	I used to tell my wife it was the spot on top of their head. She didn't like that joke. Lol.
4,226	daddit	Check for a tail. Maybe switched at birth?
4,227	daddit	Play date ! Frozen!
4,228	daddit	So far so good. It appears to have been a febrile seizure brought on by fever, which as I've learned tonight is typically something that looks scarier than it actually is, and fairly common. Thanks for your well wishes. We'll muddle through this night, and I'll have lots of coffee tomorrow.
4,229	daddit	True mate. Once they start school, they've already grown without us knowing when. Cherish her
4,230	daddit	Nice I'm happy for yall. I was thinking $100k+. Enjoy every moment, absolutely it's worth it.
4,231	daddit	Please permit me pass on 3 true things about parenting that I have learned, in ascending order of importance: Babies leak. All kinds of fluids from all kinds of places. There will be occasions you will not want to know exactly what those fluids are or how it is possible for such an adorable little human to produce such vile substances. Babies are exhausting. You will find entirely new definitions of tired over the next few years. Being a parent is one of the only jobs in this life that are actually worth more than the effort required. You think you love her beyond any rational limit now? Just wait until she starts giggling. Then wait until she crawls over to snuggle you. Then wait until she shares her favorite thing in the world with you. It just keeps going up. Congratulations, she's gorgeous.
4,232	daddit	Damn... I so want to be a fly on the wall for that!
4,233	daddit	Anecdotally from both my parents and my in-laws, it's likely a change in the woman's body. Both couples had real trouble (>2 yrs) conceiving their first children to the point that their friends partially hid or played down their own pregnancies to avoid upsetting them. Both couples had no problems with second children. Theory is that the first pregnancy "taught" the body what to do, making subsequent children easier to conceive. Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional and have done zero actual research into this. N=2.
4,234	daddit	> my wife continued having sex With you, right?
4,235	daddit	The post pregnancy fertility bump is such a known phenomenon in my field (public health) that we specifically ask every family about their birth control for an entire year postpartum. It’s wild how many couples become pregnant within that first year on accident.
4,236	daddit	Once you pop, you can’t stop
4,237	daddit	Hey, ignore me if this is too personal, but can I ask what your diagnosis was? I am pregnant after IVF with ICSI because of my husband’s oligoasthenospermia due to primary testicular failure. I am debating my birth control options after delivery as I do not particularly want a surprise pregnancy. From what I have read, spontaneous pregnancy after IVF is most likely in cases of FFI, like endometriosis or anovulation, and relatively unlikely in cases of MFI (depending on severity). That said, anecdotally I do hear about cases like yours. Suffice it to say I am confused and would love more info. Thanks and sorry for the invasive question. Also congrats on both the successful IVF and the spontaneous baby!
4,238	daddit	Yuppp 3.5 years of trying (9 years all together with no scares) and fertility meds for both of us to get our first baby and at 7 mo pp after having sex once that month we got a little surprise of 2 under 2.
4,239	daddit	Wait so was she in LABOR?
4,240	daddit	After successful pregnancies the uterus becomes a more welcoming place for future children.
4,241	daddit	Many people I know who used IVF or other means of conception quickly had a second because apparently having a baby just like... makes you good to go for another a lot of the time. Like a jump start or something.
4,242	daddit	I can’t count on two hands how many times I’ve heard this story in either my family or close friends. Including coworkers, I’d run out of toes. It’s kind of crazy. But absolutely good advice on a snip snip conversation.
4,243	daddit	I have a work colleague who has four kids, all conceived naturally, after trying IVF for years and deciding it just wasn’t in the cards for her.
4,244	daddit	A former direct report of mine had something similar - they had one daughter late (I think they were late 30s/early 40s) due to fertility issues, then when she was 13 months they had an “oops” because those fertility issues were no more lol.
4,245	daddit	jeremy?
4,246	daddit	Everybody says that, but for how long do I have to wait? We're at six months now and he's the happiest baby I've ever met! He never cries for real or for no obvious reason. At worst he gets fussy if he's hungry or sleepy, but that is fixable.
4,247	daddit	I have a nephew who’s 20 months old and he was having a sad week when we saw him around Christmas. My wife and I now exclusively refer to him (when he’s not around) as our Sad Nephew, which is unfair but we’re sleep deprived and it makes us laugh.
4,248	daddit	I love Bill Watterson
4,249	daddit	I’m Extra Large on the back side, and Extra Medium in the front. So I think I’ll be good too.
4,250	daddit	Every time I see my family with my little man all I hear is "wow he's a little you isn't he"
4,251	daddit	My wife works at a hospital and has great insurance so that certainly helped. I don't know if we could have done it if it were over $100k
4,252	daddit	I'll share the zoom invite with you. In 2047.
4,253	daddit	Yep. Baby 1 took us many years. Baby 2 happened literally the first time we had sex after Baby 1.
4,254	daddit	We had our first naturally and have been unable to have a second for 6 years. Probably bullshit
4,255	daddit	I wonder if there is also a mental thing. Like the continued lack of success starts to get you in a particular mental state and then once it's happened with IVF you relax and stop worrying about it and bam....baby 2. Stress hormones can be ridiculous.
4,256	daddit	Same happened to my mother. Years to get me, then, BAM, 18 months old and already a big sister.
4,257	daddit	My mom took many tries to get pregnant with me, and then she had three kids in three years and was pregnant every year till I was 10. Your theory tracks
4,258	daddit	Here's hoping! :P But yes, I think so... #2 is so like me that I don't even question it.
4,259	daddit	It was 2 years for us but with my sperm count (I think they measured it 10s of thousands a few times) it shouldn't have been possible. We were convinced there was something wrong with my wife because in our heads, even if she's primed and ready for a new baby, there was no way, it was literally impossible. We had 4 more embryos and there was 100% chance that we were going to implant one for our next kid. We were shocked, to say the least.
4,260	daddit	They ran a bunch of tests but couldn't figure out what was wrong. They said my testosterone was really low and did an MRI of my brain to see if there was something wrong, since a part in there controls testosterone production. They also ran blood tests and several other tests but saw nothing out of the ordinary, besides the low testosterone. I was abused as a kid and have migraines and depression now so I may well have an undiagnosed brain injury or some other issue I'm not aware of... but they couldn't see anything obvious and the low testosterone doesn't seem to bother me in any other way, unless it makes me feel crappy all the time and I'm just used to that. Hormone therapy seems pretty invasive though so I don't think I want to get into that. Fortunately, we were planning for two anyway so it worked out pretty well. If we'd known it was possible, we probably would have kept using birth control until we were ready to have the second. I got snipped right after the second and we still use birth control, just in case... no more surprises for us.
4,261	daddit	Nah, just pregnant and not eating enough. Her body was low on calories and trying to tell her.
4,262	daddit	Sorry, but no.
4,263	daddit	lol... no, but I'm glad I'm not the only one.
4,264	daddit	> how long do I have to wait? 13 through 18 had a lot of sadness that frankly I was not equipped for. It's one thing to be like "oh, change, hungry, bored, okay". It's another to be like, "I thought these people were my friends but now they're excluding me." or "my manager at work is possibly sexist and I'm not being trained correctly."
4,265	daddit	18 months was the mark for me. My girl learned words quick, and being able to demand things and throwing tantrums came around that mark
4,266	daddit	I have a 5 year old who is still pure sunshine. It's true they do change a lot, I know that from my 16 year old and 8 year old...my 8 year old was a happy baby who turned morose and cranky on his 2nd birthday and has been ever since! My 16 yr old was a tough kid but around age 8 turned into an easy-go-lucky person. But they all also seem to be on their own timelines. So who knows for sure how they will turn out...maybe yours will stay sunny!
4,267	daddit	Nine months here and still super happy! He’s just so chill and agreeable. When he gets fussy, it’s for a clear reason and he’s happy as soon as it is resolved. Who know how long it lasts, but you could have months more of happy baby!
4,268	daddit	We are due with our first September 5th, how do I make sure my kid is the same way?! All I've heard are horror stories!!!
4,269	daddit	So mini tangent. Dad of a baby girl. What I’m quickly realizing is any fussiness isn’t because she is fussy, it’s because I’m still figuring this all out. Yeah, it sucks having a guy who has never touched a super trying to hold your legs with one hand, wipe your privates with a cold damp rag with another, and it’s made worse when it takes me 4 times as long as it did the nurses at the hospital to put on a diaper that slides off an hour later. Growing up, I was always told my older brother was a hard baby, and I was easy, Im realizing much of that likely has less to do with us as it did my parents learning everything for the first time. Some babies certainly can be more difficult than others, but I am pretty convinced now that much of what people talk about is just user error.
4,270	daddit	Sometimes you just get a good baby. Obviously how you raise it plays a huge part, but I bet a large percentage of parents doing a near perfect job still get crank babies just out of DNA and other sciency things. My kid is 20 months old and is and always has been an amazing and happy boy, so loving and caring, and only cries if he is hurt or he really has a reason. You can get lucky!
4,271	daddit	My little dude is the happiest toddler I’ve ever met and was a really good baby, but his tantrums are bad and just getting worse. The terrible twos are very real
4,272	daddit	19 months here. He is just happy. I'll let you know when it happens!
4,273	daddit	Mine started crying and fussing a lot more around 2 years. And when we had our second kid. At 2 years they really know what they want but can't quite grasp why they can't have it
4,274	daddit	When they start bringing home bugs from daycare.
4,275	daddit	Check back in about four years, plz.
4,276	daddit	Oh he'll flip out soon enough because he wanted the green cup and not the blue cup but the green cup's upstairs and he refuses to get it himself. The threenager phase is real
4,277	daddit	You sir, are incredibly lucky, has he gotten any teeth in yet?
4,278	daddit	Same happened to my aunt. It was actually really sad. They tried for like five years after losing their firstborn son in a horrible accident from neglect at a daycare center. Eventually did IVF, then, bam! Irish twin. That got them more careful- but even with all their measures of precaution, ended up with another surprise pregnancy years down the line. I don’t even know how to wrap up the story, it’s kind of sad but they ended up blessed with a large family in the end and that’s what they always dreamt of. Baby Ryan has always, always been missed and we still feel him with us even now, twenty years passed.
4,279	daddit	Similar situation. Took at least a year for the first and the second happened as soon as we started trying again.
4,280	daddit	My brother & I were like this. My parents weren’t on birth control & didn’t have a kid for 5 years. My mom got on birth control after me for a year, and as soon as she got off they conceived my brother. There’s 1 year & 11 months between us.
4,281	daddit	I had our 2nd baby 10 years after our first. Randomly got pregnant with 2 after giving up and resigning ourselves to infertility. Got pregnant with #3 3 months after having 2. They are exactly 1 year apart.
4,282	daddit	Thank you for the explanation! I am sorry to hear about the possibility of a brain injury. That sounds rough. We are definitely going to be using something for birth control going forward. We just need to decide what. All the best
4,283	daddit	Phew!
4,284	daddit	[here you go](https://expectingscience.com/2015/02/06/does-giving-birth-reset-your-fertility/) there is a correlation between having had a baby and the likelihood of having another. I was being a bit facetious in my phrasing, and it's not a causal link but there some evidence that one successful pregnancy increases (by a lot) the odds of a second pregnancy
4,285	daddit	Bout twelve. Years.
4,286	daddit	But also “I love you daddy” comes at the same time.
4,287	daddit	It’s was 24 months on the dot for me. It’s like a whole new layer of emotions appeared the night she turned 2 lol. She’s still one of the happiest girls I’ve seen her age, but boy howdy, she can have some very big feelings
4,288	daddit	Yeah 18 months is tough. It's when their wants start to get more complicated than boob/bottle/clean diaper. But they still don't have all the words to say what they want, and have never had to have patients or share and they don't have the tools to manage those emotions yet. The good thing is their moods can swing back to happy just as fast as they can swing to feral beast, and it's a phase that only last a few months.
4,289	daddit	it starts at 3 and usually ends by 25
4,290	daddit	I don't know! I guess try to keep cool? It can be tough at times until you figure out what it is that they want, the signs they give in the beginning can be subtle but it usually comes down to them being hungry, tired or uncomfortable. Try not to stress about it, if you're trying to do something in a hurry or you're stressed out, the baby will feel it and cry more, which will just frustrate you more and make you more stressed. Have patience, stay calm (if you can)! For a time in the begging the little guy was fussy for "no apparent reason", we figured it out when he would repeatedly wake up crying, let out a huge fart, stop crying and go back to sleep! He was having trouble passing gas/number two, a call and a visit to the doctor helped a lot with that particular problem.
4,291	daddit	So in about 5 months time or so
4,292	daddit	Yep! Two above and two below, he's a bity little vampire!
4,293	daddit	Love it
4,294	daddit	There is also evidence that with each subsequent pregnancy it becomes less safe for both the mother and the fetus.
4,295	daddit	Fuck. Middle. School. Seriously what happens between 6th and 8th grade that makes a subset of kids just go full sociopath? It is the onset of puberty?
4,296	daddit	Those moments make up for any tantrum.
4,297	daddit	Yup, those awful silent cries, but over waffles or something
4,298	daddit	Oh man, so don't be irritable at 0300 when the kids screaming, and try to pick up on which signs is which!
4,299	daddit	You’re quite lucky then. I got two weeks vacation while the wifey got 6 weeks of maternity. Our baby has been in daycare since 6 weeks.
4,300	daddit	I have a 14yr old, 4yr old and 3yr old. It's been a wild few years. Last baby born right before Covid.

4,201

daddit

Yay yay yay! Glad it worked out for you in the end. It's definitely a rough path. Sorry you had to go through it all but it's worth it in the end.

4,202

daddit

Wait, dad? Are you Beans?? I mean the time kinda fits?

4,203

daddit

I was told 30 days. We're past that now so I guess we're keeping her.

4,204

daddit

I make the same face when I poop

4,205

daddit

Thanks for the invite

4,206

daddit

Wow... That is a very long journey. So glad you got your son! Hope he is doing well

4,207

daddit

Saving it for her wedding day. Can't wait to show her future spouse

4,208

daddit

Exactly what the plan is

4,209

daddit

It's my way of keeping the boys off her until she's older

4,210

daddit

She's not any less happier or suffering because of IVF. I was just making a joke She's the perfect baby and I love her to death.

4,211

daddit

If you don't want an extra one, get that fixed now. My wife and I did IVF because apparently I make so little sperm that they ran a bunch of tests to make sure something wasn't really wrong. Fortunately I had enough for IVF. So after baby #1 was born, my wife continued having sex as if I was infertile because I essentially was. A couple years later, my wife starts feeling ill. She said it felt like when she had to get her gall bladder out. Stomach pain that went away after she ate, lethargy, bleh feeling... Took her to the ER for the most expensive pregnancy test ever. I either started making more sperm or IVF makes a woman crazy fertile for a while. I've heard so many stories about natural kids after IVF though... I'm inclined to believe the latter.

4,212

daddit

agreed

4,213

daddit

Ohhhh hohoho, just you wait my friend, just you wait.

4,214

daddit

Our toddler has sad weeks. We’re in one now. It’s all sad or rage, or just calmly staring at a wall. I’m going to need therapy after this

4,215

daddit

That last panel with mom falling out of her chair laughing is definitely in my top ten cartoon panels of all time.

4,216

daddit

And Congratulations to you and you and your wife!

4,217

daddit

That would be printed on canvas and hung right next to the front door.

4,218

daddit

literally the best line in that movie

4,219

daddit

Gomez, get those out of his mouth…

4,220

daddit

" If your men are normal to well endowed, the cup will be too small." Oh good. They should fit just fine.

4,221

daddit

That's amazing! And apparently so in demand that they're *sold out* lol.

4,222

daddit

Yeah, I texted everyone a picture the first night and got a lot of "well... she's definitely yours" responses.

4,223

daddit

Lol love this

4,224

daddit

I think you have to make her giggle for the first time. It resets everything.

4,225

daddit

I used to tell my wife it was the spot on top of their head. She didn't like that joke. Lol.

4,226

daddit

Check for a tail. Maybe switched at birth?

4,227

daddit

Play date ! Frozen!

4,228

daddit

So far so good. It appears to have been a febrile seizure brought on by fever, which as I've learned tonight is typically something that looks scarier than it actually is, and fairly common. Thanks for your well wishes. We'll muddle through this night, and I'll have lots of coffee tomorrow.

4,229

daddit

True mate. Once they start school, they've already grown without us knowing when. Cherish her

4,230

daddit

Nice I'm happy for yall. I was thinking $100k+. Enjoy every moment, absolutely it's worth it.

4,231

daddit

Please permit me pass on 3 true things about parenting that I have learned, in ascending order of importance: Babies leak. All kinds of fluids from all kinds of places. There will be occasions you will not want to know exactly what those fluids are or how it is possible for such an adorable little human to produce such vile substances. Babies are exhausting. You will find entirely new definitions of tired over the next few years. Being a parent is one of the only jobs in this life that are actually worth more than the effort required. You think you love her beyond any rational limit now? Just wait until she starts giggling. Then wait until she crawls over to snuggle you. Then wait until she shares her favorite thing in the world with you. It just keeps going up. Congratulations, she's gorgeous.

4,232

daddit

Damn... I so want to be a fly on the wall for that!

4,233

daddit

Anecdotally from both my parents and my in-laws, it's likely a change in the woman's body. Both couples had real trouble (>2 yrs) conceiving their first children to the point that their friends partially hid or played down their own pregnancies to avoid upsetting them. Both couples had no problems with second children. Theory is that the first pregnancy "taught" the body what to do, making subsequent children easier to conceive. Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional and have done zero actual research into this. N=2.

4,234

daddit

> my wife continued having sex With you, right?

4,235

daddit

The post pregnancy fertility bump is such a known phenomenon in my field (public health) that we specifically ask every family about their birth control for an entire year postpartum. It’s wild how many couples become pregnant within that first year on accident.

4,236

daddit

Once you pop, you can’t stop

4,237

daddit

Hey, ignore me if this is too personal, but can I ask what your diagnosis was? I am pregnant after IVF with ICSI because of my husband’s oligoasthenospermia due to primary testicular failure. I am debating my birth control options after delivery as I do not particularly want a surprise pregnancy. From what I have read, spontaneous pregnancy after IVF is most likely in cases of FFI, like endometriosis or anovulation, and relatively unlikely in cases of MFI (depending on severity). That said, anecdotally I do hear about cases like yours. Suffice it to say I am confused and would love more info. Thanks and sorry for the invasive question. Also congrats on both the successful IVF and the spontaneous baby!

4,238

daddit

Yuppp 3.5 years of trying (9 years all together with no scares) and fertility meds for both of us to get our first baby and at 7 mo pp after having sex once that month we got a little surprise of 2 under 2.

4,239

daddit

Wait so was she in LABOR?

4,240

daddit

After successful pregnancies the uterus becomes a more welcoming place for future children.

4,241

daddit

Many people I know who used IVF or other means of conception quickly had a second because apparently having a baby just like... makes you good to go for another a lot of the time. Like a jump start or something.

4,242

daddit

I can’t count on two hands how many times I’ve heard this story in either my family or close friends. Including coworkers, I’d run out of toes. It’s kind of crazy. But absolutely good advice on a snip snip conversation.

4,243

daddit

I have a work colleague who has four kids, all conceived naturally, after trying IVF for years and deciding it just wasn’t in the cards for her.

4,244

daddit

A former direct report of mine had something similar - they had one daughter late (I think they were late 30s/early 40s) due to fertility issues, then when she was 13 months they had an “oops” because those fertility issues were no more lol.

4,245

daddit

jeremy?

4,246

daddit

Everybody says that, but for how long do I have to wait? We're at six months now and he's the happiest baby I've ever met! He never cries for real or for no obvious reason. At worst he gets fussy if he's hungry or sleepy, but that is fixable.

4,247

daddit

I have a nephew who’s 20 months old and he was having a sad week when we saw him around Christmas. My wife and I now exclusively refer to him (when he’s not around) as our Sad Nephew, which is unfair but we’re sleep deprived and it makes us laugh.

4,248

daddit

I love Bill Watterson

4,249

daddit

I’m Extra Large on the back side, and Extra Medium in the front. So I think I’ll be good too.

4,250

daddit

Every time I see my family with my little man all I hear is "wow he's a little you isn't he"

4,251

daddit

My wife works at a hospital and has great insurance so that certainly helped. I don't know if we could have done it if it were over $100k

4,252

daddit

I'll share the zoom invite with you. In 2047.

4,253

daddit

Yep. Baby 1 took us many years. Baby 2 happened literally the first time we had sex after Baby 1.

4,254

daddit

We had our first naturally and have been unable to have a second for 6 years. Probably bullshit

4,255

daddit

I wonder if there is also a mental thing. Like the continued lack of success starts to get you in a particular mental state and then once it's happened with IVF you relax and stop worrying about it and bam....baby 2. Stress hormones can be ridiculous.

4,256

daddit

Same happened to my mother. Years to get me, then, BAM, 18 months old and already a big sister.

4,257

daddit

My mom took many tries to get pregnant with me, and then she had three kids in three years and was pregnant every year till I was 10. Your theory tracks

4,258

daddit

Here's hoping! :P But yes, I think so... #2 is so like me that I don't even question it.

4,259

daddit

It was 2 years for us but with my sperm count (I think they measured it 10s of thousands a few times) it shouldn't have been possible. We were convinced there was something wrong with my wife because in our heads, even if she's primed and ready for a new baby, there was no way, it was literally impossible. We had 4 more embryos and there was 100% chance that we were going to implant one for our next kid. We were shocked, to say the least.

4,260

daddit

They ran a bunch of tests but couldn't figure out what was wrong. They said my testosterone was really low and did an MRI of my brain to see if there was something wrong, since a part in there controls testosterone production. They also ran blood tests and several other tests but saw nothing out of the ordinary, besides the low testosterone. I was abused as a kid and have migraines and depression now so I may well have an undiagnosed brain injury or some other issue I'm not aware of... but they couldn't see anything obvious and the low testosterone doesn't seem to bother me in any other way, unless it makes me feel crappy all the time and I'm just used to that. Hormone therapy seems pretty invasive though so I don't think I want to get into that. Fortunately, we were planning for two anyway so it worked out pretty well. If we'd known it was possible, we probably would have kept using birth control until we were ready to have the second. I got snipped right after the second and we still use birth control, just in case... no more surprises for us.

4,261

daddit

Nah, just pregnant and not eating enough. Her body was low on calories and trying to tell her.

4,262

daddit

Sorry, but no.

4,263

daddit

lol... no, but I'm glad I'm not the only one.

4,264

daddit

> how long do I have to wait? 13 through 18 had a lot of sadness that frankly I was not equipped for. It's one thing to be like "oh, change, hungry, bored, okay". It's another to be like, "I thought these people were my friends but now they're excluding me." or "my manager at work is possibly sexist and I'm not being trained correctly."

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18 months was the mark for me. My girl learned words quick, and being able to demand things and throwing tantrums came around that mark

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I have a 5 year old who is still pure sunshine. It's true they do change a lot, I know that from my 16 year old and 8 year old...my 8 year old was a happy baby who turned morose and cranky on his 2nd birthday and has been ever since! My 16 yr old was a tough kid but around age 8 turned into an easy-go-lucky person. But they all also seem to be on their own timelines. So who knows for sure how they will turn out...maybe yours will stay sunny!

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Nine months here and still super happy! He’s just so chill and agreeable. When he gets fussy, it’s for a clear reason and he’s happy as soon as it is resolved. Who know how long it lasts, but you could have months more of happy baby!

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We are due with our first September 5th, how do I make sure my kid is the same way?! All I've heard are horror stories!!!

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So mini tangent. Dad of a baby girl. What I’m quickly realizing is any fussiness isn’t because she is fussy, it’s because I’m still figuring this all out. Yeah, it sucks having a guy who has never touched a super trying to hold your legs with one hand, wipe your privates with a cold damp rag with another, and it’s made worse when it takes me 4 times as long as it did the nurses at the hospital to put on a diaper that slides off an hour later. Growing up, I was always told my older brother was a hard baby, and I was easy, Im realizing much of that likely has less to do with us as it did my parents learning everything for the first time. Some babies certainly can be more difficult than others, but I am pretty convinced now that much of what people talk about is just user error.

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Sometimes you just get a good baby. Obviously how you raise it plays a huge part, but I bet a large percentage of parents doing a near perfect job still get crank babies just out of DNA and other sciency things. My kid is 20 months old and is and always has been an amazing and happy boy, so loving and caring, and only cries if he is hurt or he really has a reason. You can get lucky!

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My little dude is the happiest toddler I’ve ever met and was a really good baby, but his tantrums are *bad* and just getting worse. The terrible twos are very real

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19 months here. He is just happy. I'll let you know when it happens!

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Mine started crying and fussing a lot more around 2 years. And when we had our second kid. At 2 years they really know what they want but can't quite grasp why they can't have it

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daddit

When they start bringing home bugs from daycare.

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Check back in about four years, plz.

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Oh he'll flip out soon enough because he wanted the green cup and not the blue cup but the green cup's upstairs and he refuses to get it himself. The threenager phase is real

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You sir, are incredibly lucky, has he gotten any teeth in yet?

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daddit

Same happened to my aunt. It was actually really sad. They tried for like five years after losing their firstborn son in a horrible accident from neglect at a daycare center. Eventually did IVF, then, bam! Irish twin. That got them more careful- but even with all their measures of precaution, ended up with another surprise pregnancy years down the line. I don’t even know how to wrap up the story, it’s kind of sad but they ended up blessed with a large family in the end and that’s what they always dreamt of. Baby Ryan has always, always been missed and we still feel him with us even now, twenty years passed.

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daddit

Similar situation. Took at least a year for the first and the second happened as soon as we started trying again.

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My brother & I were like this. My parents weren’t on birth control & didn’t have a kid for 5 years. My mom got on birth control after me for a year, and as soon as she got off they conceived my brother. There’s 1 year & 11 months between us.

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daddit

I had our 2nd baby 10 years after our first. Randomly got pregnant with 2 after giving up and resigning ourselves to infertility. Got pregnant with #3 3 months after having 2. They are exactly 1 year apart.

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Thank you for the explanation! I am sorry to hear about the possibility of a brain injury. That sounds rough. We are definitely going to be using something for birth control going forward. We just need to decide what. All the best

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daddit

Phew!

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[here you go](https://expectingscience.com/2015/02/06/does-giving-birth-reset-your-fertility/) there is a correlation between having had a baby and the likelihood of having another. I was being a bit facetious in my phrasing, and it's not a causal link but there some evidence that one successful pregnancy increases (by a lot) the odds of a second pregnancy

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Bout twelve. Years.

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But also “I love you daddy” comes at the same time.

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It’s was 24 months on the dot for me. It’s like a whole new layer of emotions appeared the night she turned 2 lol. She’s still one of the happiest girls I’ve seen her age, but boy howdy, she can have some very big feelings

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Yeah 18 months is tough. It's when their wants start to get more complicated than boob/bottle/clean diaper. But they still don't have all the words to say what they want, and have never had to have patients or share and they don't have the tools to manage those emotions yet. The good thing is their moods can swing back to happy just as fast as they can swing to feral beast, and it's a phase that only last a few months.

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it starts at 3 and usually ends by 25

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I don't know! I guess try to keep cool? It can be tough at times until you figure out what it is that they want, the signs they give in the beginning can be subtle but it usually comes down to them being hungry, tired or uncomfortable. Try not to stress about it, if you're trying to do something in a hurry or you're stressed out, the baby will feel it and cry more, which will just frustrate you more and make you more stressed. Have patience, stay calm (if you can)! For a time in the begging the little guy was fussy for "no apparent reason", we figured it out when he would repeatedly wake up crying, let out a huge fart, stop crying and go back to sleep! He was having trouble passing gas/number two, a call and a visit to the doctor helped a lot with that particular problem.

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So in about 5 months time or so

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Yep! Two above and two below, he's a bity little vampire!

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Love it

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There is also evidence that with each subsequent pregnancy it becomes less safe for both the mother and the fetus.

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daddit

Fuck. Middle. School. Seriously what happens between 6th and 8th grade that makes a subset of kids just go full sociopath? It is the onset of puberty?

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Those moments make up for any tantrum.

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Yup, those awful silent cries, but over waffles or something

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Oh man, so don't be irritable at 0300 when the kids screaming, and try to pick up on which signs is which!

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You’re quite lucky then. I got two weeks vacation while the wifey got 6 weeks of maternity. Our baby has been in daycare since 6 weeks.

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I have a 14yr old, 4yr old and 3yr old. It's been a wild few years. Last baby born right before Covid.