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5,501
daddit
I hope your son learns as much from you as possible. You sound like a great dad. We all make mistakes and we need to learn from them. I hope your wife doesn't push these kinds of views that men don't have emotions onto your son
5,502
daddit
Ex wife?
5,503
daddit
That's awful, sounds like she'd absorbed some toxic ideas.
5,504
daddit
Right? My fiance follows this sub because the mom one and parenting are toxic AF. You can't even tag the mom one without a bot yelling at you.
5,505
daddit
I’m a mom and I saw your comment in that post. I felt bad for you! I’ve seen some really, really nasty stuff thrown at men / husbands / dads in that sub. I prefer Daddit, honestly! So much genuine support and positivity over here.
5,506
daddit
Disclaimer: my wife is awesome but her family never talked about their problems and my wife has a bit of an issue with communicating; we've made massive positive steps in the past 10 years but every now and again it rears its ugly head. When I have a problem, I take it out on myself, but when my wife has a problem she can sometimes take it out on me. We work to have the mindset that any problems are *our* problem as a team to solve, but the dynamic is just interesting. When I fuck up, I direct anger at myself, but she directs her anger at me. Both are toxic, but in both scenarios *I* get made to feel bad.
5,507
daddit
There's definitely plenty of moms out there that have had to put up with really shitty guys. That's where I imagine plenty of the hate comes from, and it's really a bummer. I feel like they end up trying to convince other women how bad men can be in general because of their own bad experiences. Not trying to excuse that shitty behavior though. The good thing about it is that I feel pretty good about myself in comparison to all the horror stories I read about on mom groups. Shit is crazy.
5,508
daddit
I've found Mum groups to suck compared to dad groups. My wife is in a few and they're so unnecessarily competitive. Our babies aren't even one year old for fuck's sake... Just found this place and I love it.
5,509
daddit
Good news brother. You know what it means to be a good dad. Keep up the good work!
5,510
daddit
Well, you know from experience what not to do.
5,511
daddit
I firmly believe that to be a good dad, you just have to strive to be better than your old man. For me, that means some stuff I will fail at, cause my dad was a breadwinner and can fix everything. But other stuff I'm doing better. I chose to be with my kids and telecommute rather than waste a fifth of my week in traffic for a stressful position downtown. I've only missed a game if they miss a game, or if we have to split parents due to two games at same time. I've chosen to reduce the stress in life rather than be an asshole at times to my wife and kids (I still fail at this and can be an asshole, but it's not my preset condition after a long workday). Striving is what it's about. Also, Bandit Heeler. But mostly striving.
5,512
daddit
You know what....I think you have the most important concept down. You're doing good.
5,513
daddit
I think you just being there and taking care of them makes you a good dad dude
5,514
daddit
Can this be put in the sub’s description please. :)
5,515
daddit
Ride out together. Ride out to meet it!
5,516
daddit
I dunno. I got banned and the mod that did it sent me an "oops" I clicked the wrong button. I wonder what button the ban is next to....
5,517
daddit
Lol underrated
5,518
daddit
GROND
5,519
daddit
Keep yer stick on the ice!
5,520
daddit
Well, I mean. Bluey is srs bizness.
5,521
daddit
Bluey discussion is equally, if not more, super serious.
5,522
daddit
I've wanted to read LOTR to my kid since she was born, but so far I haven't tried it...she's three now, time to hunt down a French copy of The Hobbit with nice illustrations and get going I guess!
5,523
daddit
Forth Fatherlingas!
5,524
daddit
:( EDIT: Upon further review, it seems that you got 100+ upvotes and lots of people saying, "Go for it, but here are my tips". I'm happy with daddit today. Sorry it felt like a roasting.
5,525
daddit
FORTH DADDYLINGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
5,526
daddit
We’re all in this together.
5,527
daddit
I have this theory that the harder the task, the more supportive the community is, because we all remember how fucking hard it was in the beginning, and the difficulty still kicks our asses regularly and forces us to keep humble and helpful instead of getting egotistical and derisive towards anyone less experienced. I originally noticed this in the context of computer games, where games like FPSs (which are conceptually simple - you just run, strafe and shoot, and then it's just a question of practising more and more) tend to be full of ego-wanking toxicity, whereas communities around games like Kerbal Space Program (which requires an advanced intuitive understanding of orbital mechanics just to get into orbit) or a lot of hard-as-balls survival games are *freakishly* supportive and wholesome, applauding every new player's basic achivements the same as a super-player's fully-automated end-game mega-project. Raising a kid right is without a doubt the hardest thing you'll ever do (and there's literally no skill-cap on it, so you can never sit back and got "yep, did that perfectly, nothing more to learn here"), so I think that's why you tend to see a lot of incredibly supportive, wholesome communities around dadding in general. (Note that this only necessarily seems to hold for male-dominated communities. I have no experience of female-domainted task-oriented communities, and online mum-oriented groups often quickly descend into toxic hellscapes for reasons I have yet to fathom.)
5,528
daddit
I don't even have kids but this place is so damn wholesome that I can't stay away.
5,529
daddit
Yea unlike the Mom version of daddit that I'm banned from for asking a Wife related question in a father POV.
5,530
daddit
Not all dad's are men.
5,531
daddit
r/MensLib is up there too!
5,532
daddit
Thanks for linking this one. This place is incredible.
5,533
daddit
Haha, I just recommended this elsewhere on this post. Can’t say enough great things about that sub.
5,534
daddit
What's happening?
5,535
daddit
Something I need to learn but more and more I agree. As a person with a progressive mindset I’m starting to learn sometimes I just need to shut my mouth or not share. My wife is my partner and that makes me want to share everything with her. I’ve often regretted it because as you said, wired different. Going to continue to learn and work at my relationship with her while also adapting what I share.
5,536
daddit
I think that's true in all close relationships, male or female, we're all wired a little different.
5,537
daddit
I just went over the to the Mom counterpart sub and one of the top posts was shitting on husband's for saying they're hungry and how moms 'don't have time to eat' but dads just 'choose not to eat'. Just such a weird, toxic mindset to have
5,538
daddit
Hi mom! Thanks for the kind words, and please come hang put with us often! After all, moms are just like dads who also happen to be ladies.
5,539
daddit
Yeah but "Not a deadbeat" is a low bar. Its hard to draw yourself a line on what healthy parenting looks like when you have no idea.
5,540
daddit
My old man was, and still is an amazing dad. Doesn't mean I can't do better.
5,541
daddit
Death! Death and the world ending!
5,542
daddit
Riders of Daddit! At dawn we ride!..... Just after first feed though.
5,543
daddit
Pull up your knee socks and hitch up your cargo shorts. We're heading out!
5,544
daddit
My mom said, with no further explanation over Thanksgiving dinner, that she *does not like Bluey one bit* and I'm STILL trying to figure out how the fuck that could be. Bluey is like, **aggressively** likable among kids shows.
5,545
daddit
Thats not the post im talking about.
5,546
daddit
Keep your stick on the ice.
5,547
daddit
It takes a village. And a sub.
5,548
daddit
Courage!
5,549
daddit
> I originally noticed this in the context of computer games /r/factorio wins the golden award in this category. That community is *so* wholesome!
5,550
daddit
I never drew the comparison between KSP and daddit, but you might be on to something :)
5,551
daddit
see artists.
5,552
daddit
First of all, how dare you‽
5,553
daddit
Me too!
5,554
daddit
Isn’t the term dad itself gender specific?
5,555
daddit
Considering the username, they're lying.
5,556
daddit
Just a bad attempt at a joke of yellin' at my kids while responding. I guess I was just happy that daddit has helped yet another and wanted to keep the "goodness" going.
5,557
daddit
I'm guessing I am probably at least 20 years older than you, so it took me awhile to learn(the hard way!) One of the reasons I hang here, is I hope that some of my hard knocks can save some younger brothers a few knocks of their own :)
5,558
daddit
If you can’t be fully open with your life partner then what’s the point :(
5,559
daddit
It's odd... Mum groups are the worst of mums and dad groups are the best of dad's. It's like men don't have anywhere else to talk so the ones that find groups online to talk about their kids are doing it for support and they obviously care about their children. Mum groups are for venting and validation
5,560
daddit
The ones who complain there seem to be the ones who also don't want to think that maybe the husband is in the same boat with other circumstances.
5,561
daddit
A lot of people just need to vent, especially if their relationship isn't good and/or doesn't have clear two-way communication. I don't hold it against them, because it's tough being a new parent and being a Mum especially. Still it doesn't feel great to be stereotyped like that. Don't really give a fuck though because my partner's not like that all and my boy is really happy. Nothing else really matters.
5,562
daddit
Low bar yes, but the bar for 'being a good dad' is lower than some people think. Be engaged, be interested, keep your word, respect your little person, let them fail, etc. The line between 'good dad' and 'good person's is very blurry. I don't have much by way of reference on the dad front either, but I know plenty of good people to model the way.
5,563
daddit
My sciatica is killing me in the morning, can we resched for 10-ish?
5,564
daddit
ahh, deleted it then I'll assume. Sorry man :(
5,565
daddit
Someone get this man a puppers.
5,566
daddit
You sound both handsome AND handy.
5,567
daddit
If the women don't find you handsome, they can at least find you handy.
5,568
daddit
And If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.
5,569
daddit
If the women don't find you handsome, give yourself a handy or something. I don't know, I've never seen it.
5,570
daddit
Dark Souls was my introduction. So much love and genuine advice while recognizing the difficulty each person has. I learned a lot about life from Souls games and their communities. Don't you dare go hollow.
5,571
daddit
I also thought of factorio while reading the comment! There are dozens of us. Dozens!
5,572
daddit
Love the use of the interrobang
5,573
daddit
Ik right how dare I want advice to become a better person.
5,574
daddit
Lol that's the first interrobang I've seen in the wild.
5,575
daddit
What did you do
5,576
daddit
100% "a man in relation to his child or children."
5,577
daddit
Thank God for that. I thought you were having a stroke.
5,578
daddit
Well, I guess if there’s one place to try out new comedy material and let it bomb, it’s here!
5,579
daddit
… Poor young grandson There's nothing I can say You'll have to learn, just like me And that's the hardest way … I wish that I knew what I know now When I was younger I wish that I knew what I know now When I was stronger
5,580
daddit
It’s not about being open or not it’s about the way of thinking. My wife is an artist and I will probably never understand colors the way she does. Not because I don’t want to. It’s not meant in a negative way I’d say! :)
5,581
daddit
My fiance was told that she shouldn't be a mom in one of those groups because she has PPD. It's a very odd toxic group for sure.
5,582
daddit
Yeah that's a good idea.... My knees play up until it gets warm.
5,583
daddit
Its whatever
5,584
daddit
Seeing Letterkenny and Red Green in the same thread is awesome. Keep it up boys!
5,585
daddit
I'd go for a puppers right about now.
5,586
daddit
I'm pulling for ya.
5,587
daddit
Sun bro...
5,588
daddit
Still haven’t ruled it out.
5,589
daddit
Haha. True that. I wasn't even drunk/stoned. I was just genuinely happy that OP is in a better place and riding that "high"... right into a wall. Lol. Oh well, I make me happy. Keep dadding, ya'll! While I'm on stage. What goes "Oooooooooooooooooooooooooo"? ​ A cow with no lips.
5,590
daddit
Dab of Rod Stewart never hurt anyone, and he knows dadding, must have a couple dozen grandkids by now.
5,591
daddit
What’s an example something you wouldn’t share?
5,592
daddit
My wife has pcos and gets shit from other pcos sufferers in mum groups because shes had two kids...they won't listen to *how* she did it though. She doesn't use fbook anymore lol. They're bad at Xmas too, if your pile isn't taking up the entire couch then you're a terrible mum. Awful groups.
5,593
daddit
What was the post about?
5,594
daddit
If the women don't find you handsome, they should pitter patter down the laneway.
5,595
daddit
Allegedly
5,596
daddit
Smokes, let's go.
5,597
daddit
Got some chorin to do.
5,598
daddit
Thoughts that only make sense to me. It’s not about hiding but rather about not having to speak every thought for the sake of sharing. “What are you thinking about right now?” “Nothing in particular.” - it’s never nothing. But occasionally it’s just not worth sharing. That’s just my two cents though.
5,599
daddit
Meanwhile this group and others like it will cheer a parent on for doing what they can do and lift them up if they feel like they cant do it or if they feel that Christmas (or x holiday) won't be as good. It's insane. My fiance has really bad PCOS and Endo as well. I know exactly what you mean with that.
5,600
daddit
I was having issues with my mother and asked for advice.