id int64 1 7.31M | subreddit stringclasses 108
values | comment stringlengths 1 10k ⌀ |
|---|---|---|
7,901 | daddit | Anytime [u/speaKsoftly_bigstick](https://www.reddit.com/u/USER) Hold on, be strong. All power to you and yours. |
7,902 | daddit | Adding my name to the list, this sub has always appeared to be (and from personal experience is) a supportive and kind place when people need it. OP, I'm so sorry mate. |
7,903 | daddit | 100% |
7,904 | daddit | 100 percent |
7,905 | daddit | 8 years on Reddit. Clicked that photo and the first time I've ever cried from a Reddit post. Fuck. So fucking sorry /u/USER/ I wish I could help... |
7,906 | daddit | Could not have said it better. We are all thinking about you OP. Sending condolences to you and your family. |
7,907 | daddit | Agreed! What can we do to help? |
7,908 | daddit | That's the damn truth. |
7,909 | daddit | I made an update post, but I think something is wrong with reddit. Keep getting errors trying to make comments. |
7,910 | daddit | Advice: Don’t lie and don’t overly sugarcoat. Use terms they can understand to explain that their sister is gone and won’t come back. If they’re old enough to understand death, tell them that she died. *Don’t* explain suicide or that she suicided (EDIT: *today*. Work with a therapist. Seriously.). *Don’t* bring theolog... |
7,911 | daddit | I cannot empathize, relate, or even begin to understand what this experience is like for you. My heart is with you, and know that all that you are feeling is entirely valid. It’s so fresh and raw, I’m not even sure grief is the right term to use for this moment. Use the resources around you that you can muster the stre... |
7,912 | daddit | The best way I've heard suicide described after losing a friend was that they lost their battle with depression. So exactly same words we use as cancer. |
7,913 | daddit | yet there is minimal support for mental illness in the world |
7,914 | daddit | I have struggled with ADHD, depression and still even though in treatment I have moments every single day where my suicidal ideation rears it's ugly head. I want to echo your words to OP, you did not fail her, mental illness took her. To give some insight, I have a daughter, a wife who I have been with since I was ... |
7,915 | daddit | > and I've had people blame their suicide attempts on me when I was just trying to help. I have nothing useful to offer the OP but this struck me. My sister's GF was a piece of work, borderline and narcissist and said she was suicidal. She stuck my sister with the line "You're not giving me enough reasons to want to... |
7,916 | daddit | Yes, absolutely this. I promise I will read what OP would like to write about his daughter. Glassy eyes, can barely type this. I so sorry for your loss. |
7,917 | daddit | I can barely read the thread my eyes are watering so terribly. I couldn't imagine losing one of my girls. Really feeling for OP here. |
7,918 | daddit | I agree here. Type of every memory you have of her! |
7,919 | daddit | Second this. It sounds incredibly recent, but as things come into focus those siblings as well as OP could really benefit from some crisis counseling. |
7,920 | daddit | Seconded. If you need someone to talk to, please I implore you to send u/dmullaney or I a chat request. |
7,921 | daddit | https://www.reddit.com/r/Assistance/comments/hax0t/my_friend_just_died_i_dont_know_what_to_do/c1u0rx2 |
7,922 | daddit | It's now archived in one of the first posts. |
7,923 | daddit | I can’t stress this enough. I also lost my first born daughter in 2017 and went down a very dark road of alcohol and drug use. I am just now getting back on my feet over the last couple years and it’s been very difficult. I’ve got a 1 year old daughter and an 11 year old stepson and wife who I need to be here for. Drin... |
7,924 | daddit | Please get your child to therapy if you aren’t already. These types of posts hurt my heart. |
7,925 | daddit | That is the golden question. The one questions which the answer means the most to me currently. And the one answer I fear I may never truly get. I've asked her mother straight out. But my ex-wife has remained radio silent in that. It could drive me mad searching for that answer. |
7,926 | daddit | Not sure he needs to get rid of them, but maybe get them away from you for the time being. |
7,927 | daddit | The automod got it. You should send a message to the mods. Take care man |
7,928 | daddit | This is neither the time nor the place for this discussion. This does no good, and helps no one. Let the man grieve in peace, and keep your prying questions to yourself. |
7,929 | daddit | Does the US still allow Accutane or isotretinoin-based dermatological dermals? I know that (at least in West Europe), the compoound has been under "additional investigation" since 2019, and will (should!) only be prescribed to adolescents when combined with follow-up pshycological monitoring. |
7,930 | daddit | But you aren't gone and your boys aren't either. We've got you.......all of us here my man :hugs: |
7,931 | daddit | Edited to add: if you need to talk, message me. We can use reddit or we can exchange discord or even phone numbers to text. I have a cushy WFH job that let's me do whatever the hell I want all day and can talk all day long. > But my dude, she's already gone. I'm a dad of 2 daughters. Even when they are just at school... |
7,932 | daddit | Yeah, but you aren't, and neither are your boys. Sending hugs from another Dad. |
7,933 | daddit | She is. And it fucking hurts in a way no words can do justice to. And it's allowed to hurt. It hurts because it matters. And it's allowed to matter. |
7,934 | daddit | But you're not. We're here to help you how we can |
7,935 | daddit | You are here, you boys are here and they need you now more then ever. I’m sure you have an inner voice saying “I have to be strong for the boys” that comes from good intentions but it’s not necessarily true. You are absolutely aloud to be emotional, especially in front of them. They need to know it’s acceptable and enc... |
7,936 | daddit | But you’re not. |
7,937 | daddit | You’re not gone. Your sons aren’t gone. “Gone” can mean a lot of things but I actually personally don’t believe she’s “gone,” because we’re all here talking and thinking about her right now. To be completely gone, that would mean she doesn’t exist - but she does. In loving memory, in conversation, in photo and video, ... |
7,938 | daddit | We got you buddy |
7,939 | daddit | My heart breaks for you, seriously. Please don't lose sight that these two need you. It sounds like you've got it covered for now but please hold on. Please. |
7,940 | daddit | We are all here for you. I can’t imagine your pain. Please talk to people. Stay safe. You have others that will need your love and strength at this time, as I’m sure you need it too. We are here for you. I know it doesn’t help enough but I’m so sorry for what you’re experiencing. Please take care during this time, as ... |
7,941 | daddit | Whatever you need buddy, please reach out |
7,942 | daddit | No interest in gatekeeping, just curious what brings you here? |
7,943 | daddit | Thanks. I slept a couple hours, if only technically. I just had my first run in with one of her brothers as I sat here in the bathroom trying to muster up and shower. I froze and panicked. He's the youngest, 4, and in a matter of 4 seconds all I could think about was how much he looks like her. I'm already working o... |
7,944 | daddit | When my father passed away, we found a pamphlet in the funeral home that is based on Mr. Rogers' approach to children and how to help them when someone they love dies. We used the advice in there to explain things to my children and it was very helpful. Here's a link to the pamphlet: [https://www.fredrogersinstitute.o... |
7,945 | daddit | Hmm… I would swear I’ve heard keeping the suicide detail from young kids can cause them to lose trust and potentially be re-traumatized later, because they will always find out eventually. I’m of a mind to think zero sugar coating. So sorry for your loss OP. I can’t even imagine. |
7,946 | daddit | This is good advice. My dad was blunt when he told me my other brother died, and it helped me to process it at the time. “Your brother X was in an accident, he is dead.” I needed to hear it phrased that way to grasp it. OP, my heart hurts so much for you. I’m thinking of you all. Words don’t do enough. I am so sorry f... |
7,947 | daddit | Thats not exactly true. Depends on which part of the world you live. A few years ago i broke down mentally and couldn't tolerate any human around me for months. Uvv and the social net here in Netherlands have helped me to come back from the brink. Now the only remaining reminder is that i broke my body too gor work, an... |
7,948 | daddit | The one that gave me the most trauma was from my ex GF too. Before she'd said I have to keep her mental state secret from everyone and I'm the only reason she keeps going anymore. The stress of looking after her got too much and I broke down to my mum, felt guilty and told my ex that my mum knows her mental state now. ... |
7,949 | daddit | Yeah that’s another can of worms but yes no worries |
7,950 | daddit | Was more worried about his remainibg kids tbh |
7,951 | daddit | I have, thank you. |
7,952 | daddit | [deleted] |
7,953 | daddit | I read that book as a teen. Now I need to re-read it 25 years later. |
7,954 | daddit | So well put, and a great book recommendation, too. |
7,955 | daddit | @superkp that’s wholesome. I wish your daughters a long journey with such a complete-packaged dad. |
7,956 | daddit | My partner and I are trying for a kid soon and I really like the vibe in this group. I feel it’s a lot more positive than mom groups and it inspires me. I don’t usually comment, I only lurk |
7,957 | daddit | Also not a dad, I just lurk here for the generally positive masculinity and because my own father was terrible. |
7,958 | daddit | I know this was t for me but I lurk here to see how I can support my husband better. Seeing what you guys talk or complain about helps and also helps put things into words he can understand when I have an issue with him. I like a peaceful and non confrontational relationship and I also like a fair relationship so I l... |
7,959 | daddit | I’m a mom, my husband is a stay at home dad. I joined originally just to keep a dad perspective and be aware for my husbands needs, now I prefer it to the mom groups but I too only lurk. |
7,960 | daddit | I didn’t have a good dad. Come here to prepare when I ever have kids, and to observe normal fatherly/family relations, looking in from the aquarium glass. |
7,961 | daddit | Not the person you asked, but I lurk here because Im a fencesitter and I like taking a peek at the good, bad, and ugly from the other side. I suspect there are a lot more people in the same situation. I also appreciate the terrible dad jokes :) |
7,962 | daddit | You can ramble all you need… we are all here to listen and offer any support you need… |
7,963 | daddit | Sounds like a good start. No joke, get counseling yourself. Use your support structure. |
7,964 | daddit | Nothing to say here, but I'm tearing up in the middle of work. I'm so sorry man. I just so sorry :/ |
7,965 | daddit | I'm going to paraphrase the best advice (absolutely not from a professional but from a man I really respect) I got when my younger cousin committed suicide. My aunt and uncle seemed to get some solace in it. Maybe it can help you and yours in some small way, but if it doesn't, thats fine too. "No parent should have ... |
7,966 | daddit | Ramble on my friend. |
7,967 | daddit | You’re a hero in every sense of the word. Know that. |
7,968 | daddit | As a former alcoholic my advice is to stay the hell away from booze in times like this. It’s easy to abuse it during times like this, and honestly it will only make you feel worse. |
7,969 | daddit | I'm sorry. You're not alone. We're here for you. I got a piece of advice that was so simple but so enlightening: Let yourself experience the emotion. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to be angry. There might be moments where you need to be strong but make sure you give yourself plenty of time to just feel. Related no... |
7,970 | daddit | Wow wow wow. Ramble on. I’m reading, we are all reading and listening. Here for you in anyway possible |
7,971 | daddit | I can't even imagine how all this must feel. I know we're strangers but something, and a very important something, that we have in common is that we're both dads who love our kids so much it hurts. I hope that counts for something and that you know I hope you and the rest of your family process everything and get the c... |
7,972 | daddit | It’s more an “in the initial moment” thing, plus OP specified *younger* children. For today, tell them that she died. Get with a therapist for the rest. |
7,973 | daddit | I've actually read and experienced that it's the other way around. Suicidal ideation runs in families and it's not entirely understood why, but one theory is that being exposed to so many family members who've done it (in this case OPs daughter and aunt) makes it seem like a more palpable option than what is typical. M... |
7,974 | daddit | Surely there's a way to first break the news that she's gone, and later get into how she died, breaking up the trauma into manageable steps? Not telling them right away doesn't necessarily mean hiding it forever. |
7,975 | daddit | Just so you know, there is *very* mixed research on whether or not accutane causes depression. Mainly because they can't determine whether it's the medication or the condition itself. As someone who took Accutane 20+ years ago, I can tell you (anecdotally speaking) that I was far more depressed by the bullying from my... |
7,976 | daddit | Yes. Might I also add To Kill a Mockingbird to that list. Such a great book for dads that we just don't get as teenagers. |
7,977 | daddit | same reason i'm here as a fellow mom. the mom groups were great for camaraderie when it came to physical symptoms/calamities involved in pregnancy and postpartum, but daddit and predaddit have always been more positive and comforting for me. |
7,978 | daddit | Well, we're glad you're here. More support is always welcome. |
7,979 | daddit | I do the same thing with r/TwoXChromosomes and r/lgbt. You don't have to speak to listen and learn. |
7,980 | daddit | I’m here cause my wife and I are trying and I lost my father so I don’t have that male figure to help me navigate and guide me. This sub has provided me so many laughs and helped shape me to the better person I am today. |
7,981 | daddit | Same (not a dad). I don't have a good relationship with my dad, so reading this sub gives me a taste of something I've never had. |
7,982 | daddit | This is a place for Dad Support. Helping you understand and translate for your husband counts, I would think! |
7,983 | daddit | It sounds like you have a very lucky husband! |
7,984 | daddit | Same here dude. I have no words and can’t imagine. Be kind to yourself OP. You have a legion here to hear you out and try our best to help in a way we can. |
7,985 | daddit | Suicide Hotline Numbers If you or anyone you know are struggling, please, PLEASE reach out for help. You are worthy, you are loved and you will always be able to find assistance. Argentina: +5402234930430 Australia: 131114 Austria: 017133374 Belgium: 106 Bosnia & Herzegovina: 080 05 03 05 Botswana: 3911270 Brazi... |
7,986 | daddit | As a grief Clinician, what we tell caregivers is to get as close to the truth without providing details. For instance for very young children. Your sister died. She made her body stop working. And as they get older they will ask different questions and you can then talk to them in a way that is developmentally appropri... |
7,987 | daddit | This would be the way to go. Now, thrav is not wrong in that hiding a true cause of death will cause the grief process to kick in again, I had just watched a documentary on how a teen was told his grandparent died of a heart attack only to learn years later that it had been suicide and feeling the wound tore open again... |
7,988 | daddit | I agree. I follow some pregnancy subreddits and I think they are super useful but when it comes to parenting this sub seems more positive and understanding |
7,989 | daddit | Thank you! This is why I love this community so much. I hope my partner can be part of it soon. |
7,990 | daddit | I used to visit 2X but it got kinda unwelcoming for a while do dipped out, never see that sort of thing here. |
7,991 | daddit | Good bot |
7,992 | daddit | USA also 988 |
7,993 | daddit | Tagging u/speaksoftly_bigstick in case he doesn't see your comment. |
7,994 | daddit | u/speaksoftly_bigstick the moms and soon to be moms and dads and soon to be dads and every damn good soul in this subreddit are here, too, brother. You’re not alone. Any of us. DM any of us. On a more personal note: I haven’t lost one of mine, but I have stood at the graveside of a niece and a nephew who were far t... |
7,995 | daddit | Wow much better then me going first to dry it up for my daughter lol |
7,996 | daddit | You are a God amongst men |
7,997 | daddit | Wow teach me Dad Vinci |
7,998 | daddit | As a Texan who watched a trail of yellow liquid slide down after my kid form all the pollen we’ve had this is absolutely genius and why I’m in daddit as a mom |
7,999 | daddit | I like it when my kid hits Mach speed down the slide though… |
8,000 | daddit | You dropped this |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.