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7,701
daddit
I’m sorry brother.
7,702
daddit
I'm so so sorry for your loss. I'm here if you need a listening ear (also I'm not in the US so I'll be online in the middle of your night, if that helps). Lots of love my brother.
7,703
daddit
I am so sorry. I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re feeling. I know everyone’s already offered, but if you need someone to talk to, I’m here for you.
7,704
daddit
I am truly truly sorry. When you are ready and as I say this what an inane thing to say as you may never be ready but what has helped with my own grief is sharing my loved one whenever I can. As you have in this post. As others have said I am 100% here for you, truly. Tell me about your daughter, one second at a time for you and for your family. My heart breaks for you.
7,705
daddit
Don't look for reasons... Be there as a rock for your family, but also be there to be vulnerable and let them comfort you...
7,706
daddit
We are here for you, dad, and allow yourself to grieve. You can’t heal without it.
7,707
daddit
Hang in there
7,708
daddit
My deepest condolences My heart breaks with you.
7,709
daddit
Hey brother, just know you did not fail and you are loved.
7,710
daddit
Sorry for your loss. <3
7,711
daddit
My man, I have no words. Just throwing up a prayer for you and your family.
7,712
daddit
Seriously, there are enough of us on here that care that you shouldn’t ever have to feel alone, one of us is always here to talk. We can’t fix anything but we can listen
7,713
daddit
I'm sorry for your loss.
7,714
daddit
Just Christ man, that fucking sucks.. how on earth do kids get a hold on a gun in the first place?
7,715
daddit
There is nothing I could say that hasn’t already been said. So I just want to say I’m deeply sorry for your loss. I hope you feel the love from myself and everyone else here. My thoughts are with you and your family.
7,716
daddit
Sorry for your loss man, stay strong. This is a hell of a place to find support, just reach out.
7,717
daddit
I'm so sorry. That's awful.
7,718
daddit
Sorry for your loss.
7,719
daddit
My goodness, that's shocking. Hope you take very good care of yourself. Very best wishes for you
7,720
daddit
Thoughts and prayers for u brother. Dm if u need someone to chat with. Much love
7,721
daddit
Prayers to you brother. Lots of love to your family.
7,722
daddit
I can’t say anything that hasn’t already been said. I’m so sorry for your loss. We’re around the same age. Please message me if you ever need to talk. Do you game at all? I’ve got every system but PC and I’d buy your favorite game just to hop on the mic and try to turn down the pain for a bit with you.
7,723
daddit
You gotta whole community here for you sir. Don’t hesitate to reach out.
7,724
daddit
She'll never be gone brother. She'll be with you every moment of every day. Her memory will live on with you and your family forever. Celebrate her life. Tell her story. We as dad's, father, and men, are here for you and to support you in this hard time brother.
7,725
daddit
I'm so so sorry. I just wanted to say you did not fail her, you did not fail her. My parents are awesome, I couldn't fault them. I however was suicidal often. I almost did it, but I wasn't courageous enough. My parents could not have done more for me. It was my broken head. I have been happy often too, your daughter was happy often. Don't doubt that. I mean it, I have been there.
7,726
daddit
Please do not hesitate to reach out if there’s anything you need. I’m happy to talk anytime day or night man. I’m so sorry to hear about your loss.
7,727
daddit
I will hug my kids tonite. Sorry for your loss.
7,728
daddit
I'm so incredibly sorry for what's happened to you. I want to tell you something that helped me when I experienced a traumatic death in my family. Death of someone that close is like a buzzer in a box. Everytime that buzzer is hit, you feel the pain of that death just as hard as when the news first hit. Now, a ball with an incredible amount of momentum starts bouncing in the box. It hurts a bunch at the beginning because that ball is hitting the buzzer almost non stop. However, it hits less and less as time goes on cause the ball slows down. But it still hurts just as bad as the day it happened. You did not fail her. Depression is a terrifying thing. You trick your own brain into thinking that death is better than the alternative. You are a wonderful man and I love you and if you need anything, just message me.
7,729
daddit
Oh dude, I'm so sorry, I can't even imagine. Anything you need bud, we're here for you.
7,730
daddit
My brother committed suicide at 14. No signs of depression, outwardly successful in grades and sports. Later found certain markers more hidden, but total shock. I sat with him, my mom, and my sister as he passed. Fucking awful and I’m so sorry you’re going through this. When you’re ready, I found “Godspeed” cover by James Blake to be immensely sad but comforting. I still cry when I hear it but it’s so beautiful. A close family friend lost his 16 yr old to an unknown heart condition a month or so ago as well. If you ever need to text or chat, feel free to PM me. You don’t have to be strong but I understand that venting to those you know can feel cumbersome as well.
7,731
daddit
Please get counseling. The unbearable weight of guilt is not yours to carry. I still feel that way about my wife who has attempted suicide but the counseling is helping manage. It really isn't your fault as hard as it can be to believe. Mental health issues are real and while we can do things to try to help ultimately we aren't in control just like they aren't. So sorry for you
7,732
daddit
Our thoughts are with you.
7,733
daddit
All the love and support to you and your family. I'm so very sorry
7,734
daddit
Ahh man, fuck. Fucking fuck. Words are insufficient. I am so so sorry for your loss and I cannot begin to imagine your pain. I have dealt with the demons of suicidal ideation and it is often a daily struggle. I have no words of comfort. But I will sit in this moment. I mourn your loss. I will hug my kids all the tighter and continue to cherish each and every day. I'm sorry fellow Dad.
7,735
daddit
I’m so very sorry.
7,736
daddit
I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't know what I would do in your position. No parent should have to bury their children. I don't know what I can do but if you need to talk, please reach out.
7,737
daddit
Damn...my condolences for you loss I have a 16 year old daughter too and I just couldn't imagine this scenario...many hugs.
7,738
daddit
I’m sorry for your loss man, I cannot imagine the pain you’re feeling. Just be sure not to point the rage generated from the pain in the wrong direction, this tragedy could only be made worse by destroying your relationships out of insurmountable anger and grief. It is going to hurt forever I won’t lie, but you’ll be able to focus on the love you had with her and all the memories you’ve made together.
7,739
daddit
Sorry for your loss. This world isn't kind enough.
7,740
daddit
My thoughts are with you and your family, brother. Use this subreddit as you would all of your other resources.
7,741
daddit
I'm so sorry. We're here for you.
7,742
daddit
I'm so sorry. I can't imagine the pain you must be going through. :(
7,743
daddit
I'm not even a dad, but I have a good listening ear if you want to talk. DM me if so. Here for you. One hour at a time buddy. It ain't gonna be easy, but nothing like this ever is.
7,744
daddit
I'm so sorry I can't imagine the pain you must feel. If my little girl did that to herself I would be devastated. Don't blame yourself.
7,745
daddit
I’m so sorry. We’re all here for you
7,746
daddit
First of all, I want to express my sincerest condolences to you and your boys. As the father to a two year old girl, I cannot even imagine the pain you are going through. Please get as much help as you possibly can, both in terms of therapy and your day to day life. You may be seemingly fine one moment and not fine the next. Please reach out to someone, anyone really, even from this group if you need to vent or even just have a neutral human connection. Do not give up, you have two boys that need you, you need to be there for them both as a source of strength and a source of familiarity. u/gsnow provided the following comment about their experience and understanding of grief and loss. It may not be of any use to you today, tomorrow, even a year from now but if there is a chance this could help you or even someone else reading this who has gone through such a tragedy then the 2 minutes it took me to find and provide this is time well spent. "Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents. I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see. As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive. In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life. Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out. Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks. "
7,747
daddit
My condolences. Thank you for sharing her picture, she picked a lovely dress and hopefully she had a great time at homecoming. Would you like to tell us more about her? What did she like to do? Favorite food?
7,748
daddit
I can’t even put words together to express my sorrow for you. I’m so sorry this happened and I’m so sorry for your loss. If you need anything, feel free to PM.
7,749
daddit
Can't imagine losing my girl. Tearing up thinking about it... She's my world. Sorry to hear this and hope that time and support from others will help you.
7,750
daddit
I can’t fathom what you’re going through, and as everyone else has stated; DMs are open, feel free to message if you want! Big hugs from a stranger.
7,751
daddit
Count me as one of the 605k dads that is here in any way that will help. My heart is broken for you and your family. Just please don't lose sight that you still have 2 boys that need their dad. With all the love I can muster I wish you the best.
7,752
daddit
Might be too soon but in a bit the Grief Recovery Handbook is amazing. So sorry for your loss.
7,753
daddit
We got you man, cry and feel as much and as hard as you want.
7,754
daddit
I'm so sorry for your loss.
7,755
daddit
It's okay to grieve and not know what to do. Just remember that your family is there for you, and you need to be there for your family. I cannot imagine what you are going through, but I hope us here and the support system you have in real life can help you out in any way.
7,756
daddit
Please take care. I’m sorry for your loss.
7,757
daddit
It's bears repeating, we are all here for you, we are all sending our love and support. DM me if you want to chat. Tell family and friends nearby to do a meal train for you and your family. It takes something off your plate. Ask friends and family to call and check in. People want to help but don't know how, so tell them. Whatever you need we are all here for you.
7,758
daddit
I’m so so sorry.
7,759
daddit
I'm so sorry, dad. I can't begin to imagine how you're feeling. I can say that it wasn't your fault and that it's very likely that there was nothing you could have done differently.
7,760
daddit
There was a little soul who, burning bright Strayed beyond that darkest night Desperate grief and aching sorrow Left a breach - I could not follow The Sun did not rise - The Sun did not rise - The moon drapes in brass That little golden soul -
7,761
daddit
It's ok to *not* be ok.
7,762
daddit
I am so so sorry. I can’t even pretend to know what you’re going through but I just want you to know there’s always someone to talk to if you need anything. Prayers for you and your family!
7,763
daddit
Our hearts and prayers go out to you and family. Thank you for sharing. Please remember, that you are never alone. Even if it’s just this community someone is always listening.
7,764
daddit
I cannot imagine your grief. If you need anything you can reach out.
7,765
daddit
Lean on the supports you have. It’s clearly more than just your fellow redditors, and you have identified some strong support structures. My heart goes out to you and your family. While I can’t imagine how you must be feeling, we all feel that weight. Please take care of yourself and your wife, so you can take care of your children. Much love, and keep in mind that each of you (including yourself) will go through this differently, and that’s ok.
7,766
daddit
So sorry to hear this. Please be well and try to take time to heal.
7,767
daddit
I have a 3.5 year old son and a 4 month old daughter. I am already terrified of the days when their innocence is gone and the harsh world starts to seep in. I can’t even remotely begin to know what you and your family is going through right now, but like everyone else has said, you have people here in this community to talk to. I’m so so sorry and I hope you and your family can find some peace in the happy memories of your daughter. Virtual hugs from one dad to another.
7,768
daddit
Man I'm not wise and I have nothing helpful to say, but I hear you and I feel for you. You're loved, man.
7,769
daddit
I just learned about the subs r/griefsupport and r/childloss. These are not a replacement for professional grief counseling, but they can be very helpful resources. I’m so so sorry for your loss, OP. I’m a 37 year old dad, too (my daughter is only 3 1/2). If you want to talk, please please inbox me.
7,770
daddit
I'm so sorry. I don't know what I would do in your situation. Except cry for... Well I'm crying for you now. Hope you find some peace fellow dad
7,771
daddit
I’m so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with your family.
7,772
daddit
Man, I don't even know what to say - this is tragic. Everyone is thinking of you mate and we've got your back.
7,773
daddit
Suicide is a tough thing to go through. One of my best friends shot himself almost a year ago. It’s hard but it does get better. I would like to offer all my love and condolences to you and your family. Know that you didn’t fail her. I couldn’t even bear to imagine the pain you’re feeling. I know for me it’s going to be a little bit harder to fall asleep tonight. I’m terribly sorry for your loss. I wish you the strength and peace to make it through tomorrow.
7,774
daddit
u/speaksoftly_bigstick As clique as it is my heart goes out for you sir. My parents lost my sister at a young age (she drown in a swimming pool at the same time my mom was pregnant with me and was barely saved but was in a complete vegetative state for 2.5 years before she passed completely.) I watched my parents over the years. And they never discussed her or mentioned her. Even after my parents divorced they still didn’t speak about her. I was almost 25 before I heard either of them openly talk about her. And it wasn’t until I lost my best friend to Suicide that I understood it. I couldn’t talk about him or think about him without a complete and utter melt down. The pain is unbearable and eats at you and breaks something in you. It would be a billion times worse with a child and that is what I understand about how my parents coped with it. They couldn’t. But they never leave you they are with you. All the memories and moments are there. Cherish them and don’t let go of them. Celebrate them and hold them dear. Don’t push the pain down because it is too much. Just let it flow. Don’t be afraid to cry. Don’t be afraid to show your pain and how much it hurts to not have her with you.
7,775
daddit
From one suicide survivor to another: please give yourself time to grieve and make sure you get therapy. I powered on with life for about a year after my sister’s suicide but because I didn’t take any time to grieve, when it hit me, it hit me like a freight train and I spiralled into extreme depression. It took a lot of time and therapy to get to a better place, whereas if I’d just got therapy straight away I probably would have coped better. My mom hasn’t got therapy and as a result, it feels like her grief has become her whole life and personality. She hasn’t ever reflected on my sister’s suicide and as a result, I feel like she will never find closure.
7,776
daddit
My heart breaks for you. Throwing up a prayer for you and your boys.
7,777
daddit
I don't have the words to express how sorry I am for your loss. The first paragraph of this post is more useful than anything I could compose. https://www.reddit.com/r/daddit/comments/103ipg6/hug_your_little_ones_tight/j2zdmuu > I am so sorry. We lost our daughter four years ago and not a day goes by that I don’t think about her. The hurt will never go away but it does get easier to live with. People are going to say stupid shit to you with the absolute best intentions and it is going to buckle your knees. I’m not a religious man but something the priest said to me before our daughters service really touched me, he told me: “this ‘wasn’t part of gods plan’, it isn’t a test from god who ‘will never give you more than you can handle’ and ‘everything doesn’t happen for a reason’. This is an out right tragedy and god is weeping for your loss”
7,778
daddit
Man, I'm so sorry. I couldn't help but notice the crawfish on the lady's shirt. If you're around south louisiana and need to chat over a coffee or something please look me up.
7,779
daddit
Mate that's impossibly awful. Can't even begin to comprehend. Sending you as much dad strength as I've got
7,780
daddit
I am so sorry for your loss.
7,781
daddit
Others have probably given way better advice than I ever could I just want you to know you’re not alone and if there’s anything and I truly mean anything you need please don’t hesitate to ask. I’m sorry for your loss I wish you the strength to get threw this.
7,782
daddit
Thoughts are with you and your family during these difficult times. Sending love!
7,783
daddit
Full heartfelt condolences fellow dad. You did not fail your daughter. As other folks have said, get help in your house, grandma, whatever. You may need to get away for a minute
7,784
daddit
I am so sorry for your loss. You have thousands of dads right here, on your side. We may not know each other, but we are all your brothers.
7,785
daddit
My heart is with you op. May she find peace. May you find it as well
7,786
daddit
Damn, so sorry for your tragic loss. I feel for you
7,787
daddit
I'm here for you if you need anything dad.
7,788
daddit
Stay strong. I’m so sorry.
7,789
daddit
I’m sorry, like others have said, dm if you need to talk. Prayers for you and your family
7,790
daddit
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Just letting you know your not alone in this, in this place.
7,791
daddit
Can’t say it any better than what has been said already. I’ll just echo, for your boys now, and your not alone
7,792
daddit
Holy fuck man. I have no words that could even begin to help. Stay strong brother. You have others to keep you moving forward. I have always been a big believer in everything happens for a reason, but lately I’m not really sure anymore.
7,793
daddit
I know the pain you all feel is real. Everything you're feeling is normal.
7,794
daddit
I don’t know what words to say and I’m sure any words are insignificant to the despair I’m sure you’re going through. OP feel free to DM me to get it out. I’m here for you brother. We ALL are. Stay strong.
7,795
daddit
That sounds awful, my worst nightmare. You have all my sympathy.
7,796
daddit
The hardest news in the world. I am so sorry for your loss. Stay strong and know you have the entire community behind you. Sending love from Edmonton, AB
7,797
daddit
Hey , even though I only have a 14 month old , I still wanted to express my sympathy. And I’m here to chat if you like ! I hope you find peace . Please take care .
7,798
daddit
I’m so sorry. I lost my son to cancer when he was 4. No parent should have to bury their child. You did it fail her. You did what most of us do, we do our best and hope we make the right decisions regarding our children. God Bless you.
7,799
daddit
Love you bro dad. That’s all I got
7,800
daddit
I can’t, and don’t want to imagine what you’re feeling right now. Stay strong fellow dad we’re here for you.