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“You see—I’ve never had any real life,” she said. “I’ve just—breathed. |
Every door has always been shut to me.” |
“But you’re still young,” said Barney. |
“Oh, I know. Yes, I’m ‘still young’—but that’s so different from |
_young_,” said Valancy bitterly. For a moment she was tempted to tell |
Barney why her years had nothing to do with her future; but she did |
not. She was not going to think of death tonight. |
“Though I never was really young,” she went on—“until tonight,” she |
added in her heart. “I never had a life like other girls. You couldn’t |
understand. Why,”—she had a desperate desire that Barney should know |
the worst about her—“I didn’t even love my mother. Isn’t it awful that |
I don’t love my mother?” |
“Rather awful—for her,” said Barney drily. |
“Oh, she didn’t know it. She took my love for granted. And I wasn’t any |
use or comfort to her or anybody. I was just a—a—vegetable. And I got |
tired of it. That’s why I came to keep house for Mr. Gay and look after |
Cissy.” |
“And I suppose your people thought you’d gone mad.” |
“They did—and do—literally,” said Valancy. “But it’s a comfort to them. |
They’d rather believe me mad than bad. There’s no other alternative. |
But I’ve been _living_ since I came to Mr. Gay’s. It’s been a |
delightful experience. I suppose I’ll pay for it when I have to go |
back—but I’ll have _had_ it.” |
“That’s true,” said Barney. “If you buy your experience it’s your own. |
So it’s no matter how much you pay for it. Somebody else’s experience |
can never be yours. Well, it’s a funny old world.” |
“Do you think it really is old?” asked Valancy dreamily. “I never |
believe _that_ in June. It seems so young tonight—somehow. In that |
quivering moonlight—like a young, white girl—waiting.” |
“Moonlight here on the verge of up back is different from moonlight |
anywhere else,” agreed Barney. “It always makes me feel so clean, |
somehow—body and soul. And of course the age of gold always comes back |
in spring.” |
It was ten o’clock now. A dragon of black cloud ate up the moon. The |
spring air grew chill—Valancy shivered. Barney reached back into the |
innards of Lady Jane and clawed up an old, tobacco-scented overcoat. |
“Put that on,” he ordered. |
“Don’t you want it yourself?” protested Valancy. |
“No. I’m not going to have you catching cold on my hands.” |
“Oh, I won’t catch cold. I haven’t had a cold since I came to Mr. |
Gay’s—though I’ve done the foolishest things. It’s funny, too—I used to |
have them all the time. I feel so selfish taking your coat.” |
“You’ve sneezed three times. No use winding up your ‘experience’ up |
back with grippe or pneumonia.” |
He pulled it up tight about her throat and buttoned it on her. Valancy |
submitted with secret delight. How nice it was to have some one look |
after you so! She snuggled down into the tobaccoey folds and wished the |
night could last forever. |
Ten minutes later a car swooped down on them from “up back.” Barney |
sprang from Lady Jane and waved his hand. The car came to a stop beside |
them. Valancy saw Uncle Wellington and Olive gazing at her in horror |
from it. |
So Uncle Wellington had got a car! And he must have been spending the |
evening up at Mistawis with Cousin Herbert. Valancy almost laughed |
aloud at the expression on his face as he recognised her. The pompous, |
bewhiskered old humbug! |
“Can you let me have enough gas to take me to Deerwood?” Barney was |
asking politely. But Uncle Wellington was not attending to him. |
“Valancy, how came you _here_!” he said sternly. |
“By chance or God’s grace,” said Valancy. |
“With this jail-bird—at ten o’clock at night!” said Uncle Wellington. |
Valancy turned to Barney. The moon had escaped from its dragon and in |
its light her eyes were full of deviltry. |
“_Are_ you a jail-bird?” |
“Does it matter?” said Barney, gleams of fun in _his_ eyes. |
“Not to me. I only asked out of curiosity,” continued Valancy. |
“Then I won’t tell you. I never satisfy curiosity.” He turned to Uncle |
Wellington and his voice changed subtly. |
“Mr. Stirling, I asked you if you could let me have some gas. If you |
can, well and good. If not, we are only delaying you unnecessarily.” |
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