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CHAPTER XL
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Valancy paused a moment on the porch of the brick house in Elm Street.
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She felt that she ought to knock like a stranger. Her rosebush, she
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idly noticed, was loaded with buds. The rubber-plant stood beside the
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prim door. A momentary horror overcame her—a horror of the existence to
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which she was returning. Then she opened the door and walked in.
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“I wonder if the Prodigal Son ever felt really at home again,” she
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thought.
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Mrs. Frederick and Cousin Stickles were in the sitting-room. Uncle
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Benjamin was there, too. They looked blankly at Valancy, realising at
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once that something was wrong. This was not the saucy, impudent thing
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who had laughed at them in this very room last summer. This was a
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grey-faced woman with the eyes of a creature who had been stricken by a
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mortal blow.
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Valancy looked indifferently around the room. She had changed so
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much—and it had changed so little. The same pictures hung on the walls.
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The little orphan who knelt at her never-finished prayer by the bed
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whereon reposed the black kitten that never grew up into a cat. The
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grey “steel engraving” of Quatre Bras, where the British regiment
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forever stood at bay. The crayon enlargement of the boyish father she
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had never known. There they all hung in the same places. The green
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cascade of “Wandering Jew” still tumbled out of the old granite
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saucepan on the window-stand. The same elaborate, never-used pitcher
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stood at the same angle on the sideboard shelf. The blue and gilt vases
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that had been among her mother’s wedding-presents still primly adorned
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the mantelpiece, flanking the china clock of berosed and besprayed ware
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that never went. The chairs in exactly the same places. Her mother and
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Cousin Stickles, likewise unchanged, regarding her with stony
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unwelcome.
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Valancy had to speak first.
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“I’ve come home, Mother,” she said tiredly.
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“So I see.” Mrs. Frederick’s voice was very icy. She had resigned
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herself to Valancy’s desertion. She had almost succeeded in forgetting
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there was a Valancy. She had rearranged and organised her systematic
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life without any reference to an ungrateful, rebellious child. She had
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taken her place again in a society which ignored the fact that she had
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ever had a daughter and pitied her, if it pitied her at all, only in
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discreet whispers and asides. The plain truth was that, by this time,
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Mrs. Frederick did not want Valancy to come back—did not want ever to
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see or hear of her again.
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And now, of course, Valancy was here. With tragedy and disgrace and
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scandal trailing after her visibly. “So I see,” said Mrs. Frederick.
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“May I ask why?”
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“Because—I’m—not—going to die,” said Valancy huskily.
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“God bless my soul!” said Uncle Benjamin. “Who said you were going to
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die?”
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“I suppose,” said Cousin Stickles shrewishly—Cousin Stickles did not
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want Valancy back either—“I suppose you’ve found out he has another
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wife—as we’ve been sure all along.”
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“No. I only wish he had,” said Valancy. She was not suffering
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particularly, but she was very tired. If only the explanations were all
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over and she were upstairs in her old, ugly room—alone. Just alone! The
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rattle of the beads on her mother’s sleeves, as they swung on the arms
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of the reed chair, almost drove her crazy. Nothing else was worrying
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her; but all at once it seemed that she simply could not endure that
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thin, insistent rattle.
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“My home, as I told you, is always open to you,” said Mrs. Frederick
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stonily, “but I can never forgive you.”
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Valancy gave a mirthless laugh.
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“I’d care very little for that if I could only forgive myself,” she
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said.
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“Come, come,” said Uncle Benjamin testily. But rather enjoying himself.
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He felt he had Valancy under his thumb again. “We’ve had enough of
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mystery. What has happened? Why have you left that fellow? No doubt
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there’s reason enough—but what particular reason is it?”
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Valancy began to speak mechanically. She told her tale bluntly and
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barely.
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“A year ago Dr. Trent told me I had angina pectoris and could not live
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long. I wanted to have some—life—before I died. That’s why I went away.
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Why I married Barney. And now I’ve found it is all a mistake. There is
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nothing wrong with my heart. I’ve got to live—and Barney only married
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me out of pity. So I have to leave him—free.”
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“God bless me!” said Uncle Benjamin. Cousin Stickles began to cry.
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“Valancy, if you’d only had confidence in your own mother——”
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“Yes, yes, I know,” said Valancy impatiently. “What’s the use of going
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into that now? I can’t undo this year. God knows I wish I could. I’ve
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tricked Barney into marrying me—and he’s really Bernard Redfern. Dr.
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