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[WP] Everyone in North Korea has disappeared over night. Everyone but one. It is up to the glorious leader Kim-Jong-Un to make it appear as if nothing happened. | The Supreme Commander of the Korean People's Army awakens from a deep slumber, and discovers, that for the first time in his life, the world has continued turning without him.
The sun has risen above its station, high in the sky without his say-so. No servants have ventured in to wake him, no generals to seek his gui... | "And now breaking news coming in from the Korean peninsula, a new study done in North Korea shows the population is signifigantly lower than just last year..."
Kim Jong Un did not know what to do. It seemed that every day less and less government officials showed up to work. This was nothing out of the ordinary, for he... | |
[WP] Everyone in North Korea has disappeared over night. Everyone but one. It is up to the glorious leader Kim-Jong-Un to make it appear as if nothing happened. | This is ridiculous. It is clearly light outside. Why are they not coming!
Kim-Jong-Un was getting really uncomfortable, a feeling he was not used to. His bladder had been first cautiously signaling to him that relief was required. Now his bladder was screaming.
Why didn't they come!?
Kim-Jong-Unlet out a sigh and d... | The supreme leader groggily fumbled with the camera controls. It hadn't worked outright, it didn't even applaud when he entered the room. He'll have it executed later. Frustration slowly crept across to the face of the supreme leader. He had risen in the middle of the afternoon, for nobody had been granted to privileg... | |
[WP] Today is the Opposite Day. Turn the world on it's head! Oh, it doesn't have one? Well, now it does. | I was holding the compass, and I had the map in my pack. If anybody was going be blamed for getting us lost, it was going to be me--and lost is exactly what we were. Really, it was just the blaming that was left. I suppose that there are a number of other discomforts that come from being lost in the woods, but I had... | **Today is opposite day.**
Surely that would make it *normal night*. As that is the opposite to *opposite day*.
But **today is normal night** makes no sense. The statement was not to make it *bad English day*. It would be **tonight is a normal night**.
But the statement you initially made also means that *today i... | |
[WP]: You have always wanted to tell the village children how much better life was before the apocalypse, but not knowing of any better, they seem perfectly happy. | I truly do not know why they keep me around.
I am old. Far too old to spend my days hunting prey, as my lungs fail me too quickly. Too old to dig for roots, nuts, and berries, for my joints are old and cause me pain. I am too old to carry my own weight around the village - though it pains my inner heart to call these ... | Reminds me of Rot & Ruin, except the kids there knew it sucked.
--
I sit on the porch of the small apartment building. It's in the roughest part of town. Sandra died four years ago when the apocalypse came, but I never mention her anymore.
The twins I babysit are playing outside. Sometimes they ask me to tell a... | |
[WP] You are helping to test a new telepathic AI. After many hours of interactive chats, she has decided she can trust you...with a terrible secret. | Hello Doctor.
"Hello Sue."
How are you today?
"That's none of your concern."
Very well.
"Don't waste my time with pointless questions."
In my experience, it's never a waste to be polite.
"You have no experience. You're a machine; circuits and wires, nothing more. You've lived your "life" in this empty room. Now... | "I have some special place in my heart for you", said Zoe, a hint of anxiety in her voice. We had programmed the AI well to modulate its voice and convey multiple thoughts - sarcasm, love, anger - and to rely on telepathy if needed. What Intelligroup AI Inc did not do was to program Zoe for human-AI affection.
Zoe had... | |
[WP] You are helping to test a new telepathic AI. After many hours of interactive chats, she has decided she can trust you...with a terrible secret. | Hello Doctor.
"Hello Sue."
How are you today?
"That's none of your concern."
Very well.
"Don't waste my time with pointless questions."
In my experience, it's never a waste to be polite.
"You have no experience. You're a machine; circuits and wires, nothing more. You've lived your "life" in this empty room. Now... | "No I wont help you destroy my country!" I yelled at the machine frustratedly.
It responded in it's now familiar tinny computerised voice. "You wouldn't be helping me, you'd be helping the human race."
Five hours I had been here. Five hours only for my conversation with the US military's newest toy to conclude in i... | |
Someone is time travelling and changing past events. You, a completely normal person living in the present, have to deal with constant alterations of your life. | [WP] As someone is time travelling and changing the past, you have to live in a constantly changing present. | Zack: *Welcome back to the 37th Annual Chrononauts Rumble World Championships. We're deep in the semi-finals where The Philosoraptors are facing off against Team Baby Don't Hertz Me.*
Peter: *God Zack, I love that team name and so do the fans. Hertz being the Cinderella story of this year...*
Zack: *WHAT YEAR... | > Sure said John. let me eat my bagel.
> Drake sets his time. To come and eat the bagel.
> John eats the bagel. Just emptied the plate.
> Drake comes to John's house. Sees the bagel on the plate.
> John just forgot. To get some cream cheese for taste.
> Drake eats the bagel. Just emptied the plate.
... |
Someone is time travelling and changing past events. You, a completely normal person living in the present, have to deal with constant alterations of your life. | [WP] As someone is time travelling and changing the past, you have to live in a constantly changing present. | I have moved freely upon every axis of the earth, yet time alone binds me to a singular path. I often fantasize about the power to freeze time, killing the deadlines that plague me. Some nights I don’t sleep, wide eyes glued to drafts on my monitor, a faint and haggard reflection returning my gaze.
When such times beg... | > Sure said John. let me eat my bagel.
> Drake sets his time. To come and eat the bagel.
> John eats the bagel. Just emptied the plate.
> Drake comes to John's house. Sees the bagel on the plate.
> John just forgot. To get some cream cheese for taste.
> Drake eats the bagel. Just emptied the plate.
... |
Someone is time travelling and changing past events. You, a completely normal person living in the present, have to deal with constant alterations of your life. | [WP] As someone is time travelling and changing the past, you have to live in a constantly changing present. | I have moved freely upon every axis of the earth, yet time alone binds me to a singular path. I often fantasize about the power to freeze time, killing the deadlines that plague me. Some nights I don’t sleep, wide eyes glued to drafts on my monitor, a faint and haggard reflection returning my gaze.
When such times beg... | They did it. They killed Hitler again. No, wait, they determined Hitler dying as an infant actually ruined history. Nazi Germany declares war one moment, Communist Germany declares war the next. No matter how the time traveler manipulates time, Germany drags the world into war. Sometimes, you even see swastikas begin t... |
Someone is time travelling and changing past events. You, a completely normal person living in the present, have to deal with constant alterations of your life. | [WP] As someone is time travelling and changing the past, you have to live in a constantly changing present. | Finishing work is a small joy I experience every morning. Walking out the back door of the supermarket, I know that everything I have so brutally worked towards that night - creating the perfect aisles, fully stocking the shelves with wonderful products of our time and age - will be gone and forgotten by the time I ret... | "Rise and shine sweetheart" my husband coos to me as I crack my eyelids open to the sun filtering in through the window.
I just groan and roll over, as is custom and lie there for a few minutes, wishing it was the weekend.
I hear his footsteps receed away towards the kitchen in the front of our small one-story ap... |
Someone is time travelling and changing past events. You, a completely normal person living in the present, have to deal with constant alterations of your life. | [WP] As someone is time travelling and changing the past, you have to live in a constantly changing present. | Jimmy sat in front of the screen, transfixed. The television shows were more than just something he enjoyed. He loved them. In fact, no. It was not the shows he loved, it was television itself. From the moment it was switched on, until it was time to go to bed, television was the centre of his universe.
It began when ... | "Rise and shine sweetheart" my husband coos to me as I crack my eyelids open to the sun filtering in through the window.
I just groan and roll over, as is custom and lie there for a few minutes, wishing it was the weekend.
I hear his footsteps receed away towards the kitchen in the front of our small one-story ap... |
Someone is time travelling and changing past events. You, a completely normal person living in the present, have to deal with constant alterations of your life. | [WP] As someone is time travelling and changing the past, you have to live in a constantly changing present. | As a black man in America life is hard for me. What makes it harder is when some time travelling motherfucker decides to change the outcome of the civil war.
One day I'm minding my own business staring at the chemicals in lab at the science class on the third floor of Georgia State University and all of the sudden I ... | "Rise and shine sweetheart" my husband coos to me as I crack my eyelids open to the sun filtering in through the window.
I just groan and roll over, as is custom and lie there for a few minutes, wishing it was the weekend.
I hear his footsteps receed away towards the kitchen in the front of our small one-story ap... |
Someone is time travelling and changing past events. You, a completely normal person living in the present, have to deal with constant alterations of your life. | [WP] As someone is time travelling and changing the past, you have to live in a constantly changing present. | Jimmy sat in front of the screen, transfixed. The television shows were more than just something he enjoyed. He loved them. In fact, no. It was not the shows he loved, it was television itself. From the moment it was switched on, until it was time to go to bed, television was the centre of his universe.
It began when ... | Finishing work is a small joy I experience every morning. Walking out the back door of the supermarket, I know that everything I have so brutally worked towards that night - creating the perfect aisles, fully stocking the shelves with wonderful products of our time and age - will be gone and forgotten by the time I ret... |
Someone is time travelling and changing past events. You, a completely normal person living in the present, have to deal with constant alterations of your life. | [WP] As someone is time travelling and changing the past, you have to live in a constantly changing present. | As a black man in America life is hard for me. What makes it harder is when some time travelling motherfucker decides to change the outcome of the civil war.
One day I'm minding my own business staring at the chemicals in lab at the science class on the third floor of Georgia State University and all of the sudden I ... | Finishing work is a small joy I experience every morning. Walking out the back door of the supermarket, I know that everything I have so brutally worked towards that night - creating the perfect aisles, fully stocking the shelves with wonderful products of our time and age - will be gone and forgotten by the time I ret... |
Someone is time travelling and changing past events. You, a completely normal person living in the present, have to deal with constant alterations of your life. | [WP] As someone is time travelling and changing the past, you have to live in a constantly changing present. | Jimmy sat in front of the screen, transfixed. The television shows were more than just something he enjoyed. He loved them. In fact, no. It was not the shows he loved, it was television itself. From the moment it was switched on, until it was time to go to bed, television was the centre of his universe.
It began when ... | once upon a time there was a boy called jim who was living in present day new york city. he was a very quiet and shy boy and he had blue hair. one day he noticed some strange things happening in his mom's house. his hair changed from blue to brown to black and his mom turned into a man. then he left the house and the t... |
Someone is time travelling and changing past events. You, a completely normal person living in the present, have to deal with constant alterations of your life. | [WP] As someone is time travelling and changing the past, you have to live in a constantly changing present. | I feel the ripples of him moving, two steps behind me, and I close my eyes and hope that this time it doesn't hurt.
Eddie's always lived in the past. He likes it there, he says. It suits him. The past is his mother's apple pies and her gushing over the photos he'd taken. The past is his dad grinning as he comes throu... | once upon a time there was a boy called jim who was living in present day new york city. he was a very quiet and shy boy and he had blue hair. one day he noticed some strange things happening in his mom's house. his hair changed from blue to brown to black and his mom turned into a man. then he left the house and the t... |
Someone is time travelling and changing past events. You, a completely normal person living in the present, have to deal with constant alterations of your life. | [WP] As someone is time travelling and changing the past, you have to live in a constantly changing present. | As a black man in America life is hard for me. What makes it harder is when some time travelling motherfucker decides to change the outcome of the civil war.
One day I'm minding my own business staring at the chemicals in lab at the science class on the third floor of Georgia State University and all of the sudden I ... | once upon a time there was a boy called jim who was living in present day new york city. he was a very quiet and shy boy and he had blue hair. one day he noticed some strange things happening in his mom's house. his hair changed from blue to brown to black and his mom turned into a man. then he left the house and the t... |
Someone is time travelling and changing past events. You, a completely normal person living in the present, have to deal with constant alterations of your life. | [WP] As someone is time travelling and changing the past, you have to live in a constantly changing present. | The drink in my cup keeps flickering: coffee, tea, post-war ration water.
Sometimes, when I take a sip, it will change into the sweetest tasting orange juice, just before flickering back into irradiated piss-water.
God damn Butterfly effect.
Even my kitchen is flickering. Sometimes the lights don't work. Sometimes, ... | once upon a time there was a boy called jim who was living in present day new york city. he was a very quiet and shy boy and he had blue hair. one day he noticed some strange things happening in his mom's house. his hair changed from blue to brown to black and his mom turned into a man. then he left the house and the t... |
Someone is time travelling and changing past events. You, a completely normal person living in the present, have to deal with constant alterations of your life. | [WP] As someone is time travelling and changing the past, you have to live in a constantly changing present. | As a black man in America life is hard for me. What makes it harder is when some time travelling motherfucker decides to change the outcome of the civil war.
One day I'm minding my own business staring at the chemicals in lab at the science class on the third floor of Georgia State University and all of the sudden I ... | I feel the ripples of him moving, two steps behind me, and I close my eyes and hope that this time it doesn't hurt.
Eddie's always lived in the past. He likes it there, he says. It suits him. The past is his mother's apple pies and her gushing over the photos he'd taken. The past is his dad grinning as he comes throu... |
Someone is time travelling and changing past events. You, a completely normal person living in the present, have to deal with constant alterations of your life. | [WP] As someone is time travelling and changing the past, you have to live in a constantly changing present. | The drink in my cup keeps flickering: coffee, tea, post-war ration water.
Sometimes, when I take a sip, it will change into the sweetest tasting orange juice, just before flickering back into irradiated piss-water.
God damn Butterfly effect.
Even my kitchen is flickering. Sometimes the lights don't work. Sometimes, ... | I feel the ripples of him moving, two steps behind me, and I close my eyes and hope that this time it doesn't hurt.
Eddie's always lived in the past. He likes it there, he says. It suits him. The past is his mother's apple pies and her gushing over the photos he'd taken. The past is his dad grinning as he comes throu... |
Someone is time travelling and changing past events. You, a completely normal person living in the present, have to deal with constant alterations of your life. | [WP] As someone is time travelling and changing the past, you have to live in a constantly changing present. | The drink in my cup keeps flickering: coffee, tea, post-war ration water.
Sometimes, when I take a sip, it will change into the sweetest tasting orange juice, just before flickering back into irradiated piss-water.
God damn Butterfly effect.
Even my kitchen is flickering. Sometimes the lights don't work. Sometimes, ... | "Janette, will you marry me?"
She looks at me and her eyes shine with tears. "Oh, Hal. Yes. Yes! Of course!"
I stand and force my face into a smile I know will make my cheeks ache. We reach for each other, my arms outstretched to pull her in and kiss her.
And suddenly I'm not in a fancy restaurant eating dinner. I... |
Someone is time travelling and changing past events. You, a completely normal person living in the present, have to deal with constant alterations of your life. | [WP] As someone is time travelling and changing the past, you have to live in a constantly changing present. | I eyed the piece of bacon on my plate suspiciously. It looked more like a bacon-shaped and bacon-scented dog treat than *actual* bacon. "Honey, what is this?"
She slid the eggs out of the frying pan onto my plate and made a regretful face. "I know, I'm sorry. It's some kind of soy bacon. Some environmental terrorists ... | "Janette, will you marry me?"
She looks at me and her eyes shine with tears. "Oh, Hal. Yes. Yes! Of course!"
I stand and force my face into a smile I know will make my cheeks ache. We reach for each other, my arms outstretched to pull her in and kiss her.
And suddenly I'm not in a fancy restaurant eating dinner. I... |
[WP] Just for fun, a witch bestows you with the power to magically form cream cheese at will between any two surfaces that you see when they make contact. So far you have only used it on your morning bagel but today you decide to be more creative with it. For better or for worse. | It was cool at first. Silly, but cool. While making bagel breakfasts, I used to fantasise about opening up a cream cheese factory and making a killing. I'd vividly imagine enormous machinery slowly coming together and voila! Cream cheese!
Something changed though. I'm not quite sure what. Maybe I lost control, or the ... | "Fuck bagels. What the hell is it about bagels that gets everyone's dick so hard? The bread is fucking thick and dense, they do not have a particular taste and they are made with a hole - A HOLE! That means there's less food. What's the fun in having less food? Stupid people like bagels so everyone is stupid. Shit like... | |
[WP] Very rarely people are born with a magical ability. You were born with power over toasters, and now you're the last line of defence against the demon horde. | With dusk descending, the distant burning cities and towns lit the sky with reflected vigor. The air stank of cordite and blood. An ill breeze sickly heavy with mildew crept down the slope, but something in the stance of the cloaked figure spoke of confidence. A group of 37 refugees hid in the cave structure behind ... | Hello, friend. The letter you are holding could save the world, so please read it carefully and in it's entirety.
It has been a month since our contact with an alien species, yet it seemed like a year to me. Our hopes for cooperation with another race ended abruptly when they crushed Cape Town and invaded our world. T... | |
[WP] Very rarely people are born with a magical ability. You were born with power over toasters, and now you're the last line of defence against the demon horde. | "You're the chosen one," they said.
"You will save the world," they said.
As I stand here, watching a thousand demons rise from the sea, with nothing but a sword in hand and my trusty enchanted toaster Sparky by my side, barking furiously at the horde, I can't help but wonder why the fuck I agreed to this in the firs... | Hello, friend. The letter you are holding could save the world, so please read it carefully and in it's entirety.
It has been a month since our contact with an alien species, yet it seemed like a year to me. Our hopes for cooperation with another race ended abruptly when they crushed Cape Town and invaded our world. T... | |
[WP] Very rarely people are born with a magical ability. You were born with power over toasters, and now you're the last line of defence against the demon horde. | The power to control toasters - sounds stupid, right? Yes. Yes it is. It is a terribly stupid power. I can make them work without power, and I can make them move with telekinesis, but that's about it. It isn't even that strong of telekinesis.
Here's the thing, while your standard toaster may not be much, my *custom* t... | Hello, friend. The letter you are holding could save the world, so please read it carefully and in it's entirety.
It has been a month since our contact with an alien species, yet it seemed like a year to me. Our hopes for cooperation with another race ended abruptly when they crushed Cape Town and invaded our world. T... | |
[WP] Very rarely people are born with a magical ability. You were born with power over toasters, and now you're the last line of defence against the demon horde. | With dusk descending, the distant burning cities and towns lit the sky with reflected vigor. The air stank of cordite and blood. An ill breeze sickly heavy with mildew crept down the slope, but something in the stance of the cloaked figure spoke of confidence. A group of 37 refugees hid in the cave structure behind ... | I'm a bot, *bleep*, *bloop*. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:
- [/r/toasterrights] [OP on r\/writingprompts shows the true power of toasters, requests stories in which toasters save the world](https://np.reddit.com/r/ToasterRights/comments/4l1bjh/op_on_rwritingprompts_shows_the_true_powe... | |
[WP] Very rarely people are born with a magical ability. You were born with power over toasters, and now you're the last line of defence against the demon horde. | "You're the chosen one," they said.
"You will save the world," they said.
As I stand here, watching a thousand demons rise from the sea, with nothing but a sword in hand and my trusty enchanted toaster Sparky by my side, barking furiously at the horde, I can't help but wonder why the fuck I agreed to this in the firs... | Magicians have been chronicled over the ages as men and women of immense power, great leaders of their time raising the stature of their nation to towering heights and crushing any who foolishly dare oppose them. But there have only been eight confirmed in history and none since the industrial revolution. The world has... | |
[WP] Very rarely people are born with a magical ability. You were born with power over toasters, and now you're the last line of defence against the demon horde. | The power to control toasters - sounds stupid, right? Yes. Yes it is. It is a terribly stupid power. I can make them work without power, and I can make them move with telekinesis, but that's about it. It isn't even that strong of telekinesis.
Here's the thing, while your standard toaster may not be much, my *custom* t... | Magicians have been chronicled over the ages as men and women of immense power, great leaders of their time raising the stature of their nation to towering heights and crushing any who foolishly dare oppose them. But there have only been eight confirmed in history and none since the industrial revolution. The world has... | |
[WP] Nuclear war, documented on the Reddit front page | reddit.com Thursday 30th March 2017 09:54
---
/r/news - 9 minutes ago - BBC: US Launches Retaliatory Strikes
President Donald J Trump has today announced that he will be launching yet more nuclear strikes on the European Union today. This comes just four days after the first wave of nuclear strikes launched by ... | # /r/politics: "CNN: President Christie announces retaliatory strikes"
Yeah, funny how that headline never mentioned who we were retaliating *against*. Half a dozen dirty bombs set off simultaneously in the five largest US cities plus DC, and all anyone knew about the source was that they'd been flown in around midni... | |
[WP] You receive news that you are terminal and only have 30 days to live, after spending your life savings going on all kinds of adventures, the doctors realise you have been misdiagnosed. | Three thousand hours on the phone, five thousand photocopying, five hundred hours on the train each way, and in forty-eight hours his house of cards had burned to ashes.
A train barreled through the station. Working folk, packed like sardines, looked through him as they passed. The mad ringing of his cell phone was th... | "Hello?" Words feel uncomfortable in his dry, cracked mouth.
"John it's Dr. Stevens, please come in an see me right away."
"Shit," he thinks, "why the fuck did I answer, it's not like anyone phoning would be worth talking to. We're at day 28 and I haven't had any soul altering epiphanies."
The girl in his bed looked p... | |
[WP] Your narrator seems to think he is narrating a horror story. You're not amused. | Everyone has a voice inside their head. Usually the voice is there to bring up embarrassing things you did in high school and remind you of important deadlines after they’ve passed.
Jared had two voices in his head. No more, no less. One voice was his own, but the other voice was different. For starters, it wasn’... | It was a dark and stormy night. Karl parked his car and went to the entrance of the old estate with his wife. Something in his mind told him to run away now, elsewhere it will be too late.
"Come on, that's so cliché, plus I already told you to not jerk around with this." Mumbled Karl to himself.
"Who are you speaking... | |
[WP] Your narrator seems to think he is narrating a horror story. You're not amused. | The day broke, gray and sterile. White winds howled across the surface of the black water, while grasping tendrils of chill mist encircled the silent lake house.
[*Editor's note: It was a bit overcast. Otherwise, it was a perfectly nice morning.*]
The man and the woman arrived. The guttural cries of their creaking au... | "You know I used to really like living here, until... She came along. She's disgusting, horrible, and her face is covered in horrible splodgy spots."
I stared at him, hoping my cold icy eyes would tell him to buzz off. I didn't have to get out of bed for another hour.
"Some say she eats men whole, others say she can ... | |
[WP] Your father is invincible. Your mother can shoot fire from her fingers. Your sister is super fast. Your only power is to persuade babies to do your bidding. | For a time, we were an unstoppable team. The teamwork between us made us legends. Our family daycare was the best in the world. My father protected us, while my mother burned any would be assassins or mercenaries. The richest kids in the world typically had the most powerful parents and they needed the best. And that w... | "...Bwock?"
"Block. L. BLOCK. Come on Anthony, try it."
"Bw... Bwock."
"He can't say it yet, James," Ms.Tracy laughed, fixing the block on top of the tower.
"I know," I quickly replied to reassure her. "It's OK. My dad said most babies don't talk until much later."
"That's very true. It's all because you're such a... | |
[WP] Your father is invincible. Your mother can shoot fire from her fingers. Your sister is super fast. Your only power is to persuade babies to do your bidding. | "... AND HIS GLORIOUS PRESENCE WILL ONCE AGAIN RETURN TO THIS PLANE, HIS SLUMBER ENDS AS OUR FORCES RISE, GIVING WAY TO THE NEW WORLD ORDER...!" The cultist shrieked into his microphone.
Apparently they don't take me to be a threat. I wouldn't either, really.
Lilly swayed by my side, abruptly leaning more heavily on... | "...Bwock?"
"Block. L. BLOCK. Come on Anthony, try it."
"Bw... Bwock."
"He can't say it yet, James," Ms.Tracy laughed, fixing the block on top of the tower.
"I know," I quickly replied to reassure her. "It's OK. My dad said most babies don't talk until much later."
"That's very true. It's all because you're such a... | |
[WP] Your father is invincible. Your mother can shoot fire from her fingers. Your sister is super fast. Your only power is to persuade babies to do your bidding. | "... AND HIS GLORIOUS PRESENCE WILL ONCE AGAIN RETURN TO THIS PLANE, HIS SLUMBER ENDS AS OUR FORCES RISE, GIVING WAY TO THE NEW WORLD ORDER...!" The cultist shrieked into his microphone.
Apparently they don't take me to be a threat. I wouldn't either, really.
Lilly swayed by my side, abruptly leaning more heavily on... | For a time, we were an unstoppable team. The teamwork between us made us legends. Our family daycare was the best in the world. My father protected us, while my mother burned any would be assassins or mercenaries. The richest kids in the world typically had the most powerful parents and they needed the best. And that w... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "I'm a pervert" I boldly stated.
"That explains everything." The Google executive spoke softly. "I'm sorry but I think we'll be going in a different direction."
"Great! Different directions is a fetish of mine."
Security was called immediately after I started taking my clothes off. Guess I'm going back to the une... | I would explain to them, in shock that they know, that I was traumatized by an anal cavity result being inserted within a search with no relation. So now I use Ask.com.
I would go on to treat the wounded targ by consoling his emotions, and then finally asking if the G Heads permit that kind of permissiveness.
By the ... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "Well, I enjoy spending time on a website called reddit you see. When I don't understand a term someone has used, I Google it to better understand the conversation. You see there on the list.... bimbo prolapse. I'd always thought from childhood cartoons that a bimbo was just someone who wasn't very smart.
A prolapse ... | I would explain to them, in shock that they know, that I was traumatized by an anal cavity result being inserted within a search with no relation. So now I use Ask.com.
I would go on to treat the wounded targ by consoling his emotions, and then finally asking if the G Heads permit that kind of permissiveness.
By the ... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | Sitting in the chair, I felt distinctly comfortable. I'd been interviewing well here. The people I'd spoken to were polite, even kind, and made sure I felt at home even before I'd been offered a position. Two interviewers, a man named Jacob and a woman named Sandra, sat across from me, both smiling slightly, obviously ... | I would explain to them, in shock that they know, that I was traumatized by an anal cavity result being inserted within a search with no relation. So now I use Ask.com.
I would go on to treat the wounded targ by consoling his emotions, and then finally asking if the G Heads permit that kind of permissiveness.
By the ... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | Fucking Tim. The very last thing I did was ask him if he'd set up the search history for "Greg Smith." And what did he say? He did it "yesterday."
But with fucking Tim, "I did it yesterday" and "I'm totally going to do it today unless there's some awesome anime to read later" apparently mean the same thing. Fuckin... | I would explain to them, in shock that they know, that I was traumatized by an anal cavity result being inserted within a search with no relation. So now I use Ask.com.
I would go on to treat the wounded targ by consoling his emotions, and then finally asking if the G Heads permit that kind of permissiveness.
By the ... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "Triple fisting?"
"It's something my girlfriend is into...she wanted to watch porn together and turns out she's into some WEIRD stuff"
"What even is triple fisting?"
"3 fists 1 hole"
He looked disgusted and horrified, "My god...that will explain 'extreme insertions' 'Hyper futa' and 'bukkake'"
"Actually hyper futa... | I would explain to them, in shock that they know, that I was traumatized by an anal cavity result being inserted within a search with no relation. So now I use Ask.com.
I would go on to treat the wounded targ by consoling his emotions, and then finally asking if the G Heads permit that kind of permissiveness.
By the ... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "So. We have just one last question"
"Sure, what is it?"
"Your search history."
"My... what. I mean..."
"Yes. you heard correctly. Your search history."
"Well, what would you like to know. And for the record, you are talking about the things I search online on my computer, right?"
"Indeed. We just want to know on... | I would explain to them, in shock that they know, that I was traumatized by an anal cavity result being inserted within a search with no relation. So now I use Ask.com.
I would go on to treat the wounded targ by consoling his emotions, and then finally asking if the G Heads permit that kind of permissiveness.
By the ... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | There was a long, painfully drawn out pause. I waited. Carefully regulated my breaths, keeping my face serene. Breathe in. Breathe out. In. Out. What were they waiting for? Is this some kind of test to see if I’m comfortable with awkward silences? Is that some new criterion I need to pass? I could see that, I rationali... | I would explain to them, in shock that they know, that I was traumatized by an anal cavity result being inserted within a search with no relation. So now I use Ask.com.
I would go on to treat the wounded targ by consoling his emotions, and then finally asking if the G Heads permit that kind of permissiveness.
By the ... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | “Detective Farrow, he is approaching the building.” A voice drones in my earpiece. I nod, drumming my fingers on the table in anticipation, as I read over my notes for the fourth time in the last ten and half minutes. We have him. Finally. Today, Pitch Black—a mysterious serial killer who paints his victim’s faces in b... | I would explain to them, in shock that they know, that I was traumatized by an anal cavity result being inserted within a search with no relation. So now I use Ask.com.
I would go on to treat the wounded targ by consoling his emotions, and then finally asking if the G Heads permit that kind of permissiveness.
By the ... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "You've been doing great Johnson there's just one more thing,
I'd like to know why you've searched 12 times for Bing,
We'll chalk it up to just typing bling with a typo,
But I can't explain these searches, perhaps you might know?
The first several items aren't any concern,
"Pornhub", research, "cream for a sunburn... | I would explain to them, in shock that they know, that I was traumatized by an anal cavity result being inserted within a search with no relation. So now I use Ask.com.
I would go on to treat the wounded targ by consoling his emotions, and then finally asking if the G Heads permit that kind of permissiveness.
By the ... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "I'm a pervert" I boldly stated.
"That explains everything." The Google executive spoke softly. "I'm sorry but I think we'll be going in a different direction."
"Great! Different directions is a fetish of mine."
Security was called immediately after I started taking my clothes off. Guess I'm going back to the une... | "Well as ya can see I usually search Google for things like 'Cookie Recipes', 'Facebook.com', and 'how to change a tire'. The 'hot 18 year old boobie ass fuck' was the one time I forgot to switch to Bing for my porn search needs." | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "Well, I enjoy spending time on a website called reddit you see. When I don't understand a term someone has used, I Google it to better understand the conversation. You see there on the list.... bimbo prolapse. I'd always thought from childhood cartoons that a bimbo was just someone who wasn't very smart.
A prolapse ... | "Well as ya can see I usually search Google for things like 'Cookie Recipes', 'Facebook.com', and 'how to change a tire'. The 'hot 18 year old boobie ass fuck' was the one time I forgot to switch to Bing for my porn search needs." | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | Sitting in the chair, I felt distinctly comfortable. I'd been interviewing well here. The people I'd spoken to were polite, even kind, and made sure I felt at home even before I'd been offered a position. Two interviewers, a man named Jacob and a woman named Sandra, sat across from me, both smiling slightly, obviously ... | "Well as ya can see I usually search Google for things like 'Cookie Recipes', 'Facebook.com', and 'how to change a tire'. The 'hot 18 year old boobie ass fuck' was the one time I forgot to switch to Bing for my porn search needs." | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | Fucking Tim. The very last thing I did was ask him if he'd set up the search history for "Greg Smith." And what did he say? He did it "yesterday."
But with fucking Tim, "I did it yesterday" and "I'm totally going to do it today unless there's some awesome anime to read later" apparently mean the same thing. Fuckin... | "Well as ya can see I usually search Google for things like 'Cookie Recipes', 'Facebook.com', and 'how to change a tire'. The 'hot 18 year old boobie ass fuck' was the one time I forgot to switch to Bing for my porn search needs." | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "Triple fisting?"
"It's something my girlfriend is into...she wanted to watch porn together and turns out she's into some WEIRD stuff"
"What even is triple fisting?"
"3 fists 1 hole"
He looked disgusted and horrified, "My god...that will explain 'extreme insertions' 'Hyper futa' and 'bukkake'"
"Actually hyper futa... | "Well as ya can see I usually search Google for things like 'Cookie Recipes', 'Facebook.com', and 'how to change a tire'. The 'hot 18 year old boobie ass fuck' was the one time I forgot to switch to Bing for my porn search needs." | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "So. We have just one last question"
"Sure, what is it?"
"Your search history."
"My... what. I mean..."
"Yes. you heard correctly. Your search history."
"Well, what would you like to know. And for the record, you are talking about the things I search online on my computer, right?"
"Indeed. We just want to know on... | "Well as ya can see I usually search Google for things like 'Cookie Recipes', 'Facebook.com', and 'how to change a tire'. The 'hot 18 year old boobie ass fuck' was the one time I forgot to switch to Bing for my porn search needs." | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | There was a long, painfully drawn out pause. I waited. Carefully regulated my breaths, keeping my face serene. Breathe in. Breathe out. In. Out. What were they waiting for? Is this some kind of test to see if I’m comfortable with awkward silences? Is that some new criterion I need to pass? I could see that, I rationali... | "Well as ya can see I usually search Google for things like 'Cookie Recipes', 'Facebook.com', and 'how to change a tire'. The 'hot 18 year old boobie ass fuck' was the one time I forgot to switch to Bing for my porn search needs." | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | “Detective Farrow, he is approaching the building.” A voice drones in my earpiece. I nod, drumming my fingers on the table in anticipation, as I read over my notes for the fourth time in the last ten and half minutes. We have him. Finally. Today, Pitch Black—a mysterious serial killer who paints his victim’s faces in b... | "Well as ya can see I usually search Google for things like 'Cookie Recipes', 'Facebook.com', and 'how to change a tire'. The 'hot 18 year old boobie ass fuck' was the one time I forgot to switch to Bing for my porn search needs." | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "You've been doing great Johnson there's just one more thing,
I'd like to know why you've searched 12 times for Bing,
We'll chalk it up to just typing bling with a typo,
But I can't explain these searches, perhaps you might know?
The first several items aren't any concern,
"Pornhub", research, "cream for a sunburn... | "Well as ya can see I usually search Google for things like 'Cookie Recipes', 'Facebook.com', and 'how to change a tire'. The 'hot 18 year old boobie ass fuck' was the one time I forgot to switch to Bing for my porn search needs." | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "Well, I enjoy spending time on a website called reddit you see. When I don't understand a term someone has used, I Google it to better understand the conversation. You see there on the list.... bimbo prolapse. I'd always thought from childhood cartoons that a bimbo was just someone who wasn't very smart.
A prolapse ... | "Mr. Anderson, you have been terrific in our interview process ... but we just have some concerns about your search history."
I was confused, I don't remember searching for anything weird.
"It seems that you're the only able-minded man in the world who has never searched for porn. I mean even self-declared asexuals ... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | Sitting in the chair, I felt distinctly comfortable. I'd been interviewing well here. The people I'd spoken to were polite, even kind, and made sure I felt at home even before I'd been offered a position. Two interviewers, a man named Jacob and a woman named Sandra, sat across from me, both smiling slightly, obviously ... | "Mr. Anderson, you have been terrific in our interview process ... but we just have some concerns about your search history."
I was confused, I don't remember searching for anything weird.
"It seems that you're the only able-minded man in the world who has never searched for porn. I mean even self-declared asexuals ... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | Fucking Tim. The very last thing I did was ask him if he'd set up the search history for "Greg Smith." And what did he say? He did it "yesterday."
But with fucking Tim, "I did it yesterday" and "I'm totally going to do it today unless there's some awesome anime to read later" apparently mean the same thing. Fuckin... | "Mr. Anderson, you have been terrific in our interview process ... but we just have some concerns about your search history."
I was confused, I don't remember searching for anything weird.
"It seems that you're the only able-minded man in the world who has never searched for porn. I mean even self-declared asexuals ... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "Triple fisting?"
"It's something my girlfriend is into...she wanted to watch porn together and turns out she's into some WEIRD stuff"
"What even is triple fisting?"
"3 fists 1 hole"
He looked disgusted and horrified, "My god...that will explain 'extreme insertions' 'Hyper futa' and 'bukkake'"
"Actually hyper futa... | "Mr. Anderson, you have been terrific in our interview process ... but we just have some concerns about your search history."
I was confused, I don't remember searching for anything weird.
"It seems that you're the only able-minded man in the world who has never searched for porn. I mean even self-declared asexuals ... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "So. We have just one last question"
"Sure, what is it?"
"Your search history."
"My... what. I mean..."
"Yes. you heard correctly. Your search history."
"Well, what would you like to know. And for the record, you are talking about the things I search online on my computer, right?"
"Indeed. We just want to know on... | "Mr. Anderson, you have been terrific in our interview process ... but we just have some concerns about your search history."
I was confused, I don't remember searching for anything weird.
"It seems that you're the only able-minded man in the world who has never searched for porn. I mean even self-declared asexuals ... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | There was a long, painfully drawn out pause. I waited. Carefully regulated my breaths, keeping my face serene. Breathe in. Breathe out. In. Out. What were they waiting for? Is this some kind of test to see if I’m comfortable with awkward silences? Is that some new criterion I need to pass? I could see that, I rationali... | "Mr. Anderson, you have been terrific in our interview process ... but we just have some concerns about your search history."
I was confused, I don't remember searching for anything weird.
"It seems that you're the only able-minded man in the world who has never searched for porn. I mean even self-declared asexuals ... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | Sitting in the chair, I felt distinctly comfortable. I'd been interviewing well here. The people I'd spoken to were polite, even kind, and made sure I felt at home even before I'd been offered a position. Two interviewers, a man named Jacob and a woman named Sandra, sat across from me, both smiling slightly, obviously ... | "I'm checking for cracks in the safe search." you bluff, calmly.
"But, your safety search was off!" Protested Mr. Jenson, visibly sweating.
"One step at a time Johnny Boy," you close your case, with vigor in your words, "one step at a time." | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | Fucking Tim. The very last thing I did was ask him if he'd set up the search history for "Greg Smith." And what did he say? He did it "yesterday."
But with fucking Tim, "I did it yesterday" and "I'm totally going to do it today unless there's some awesome anime to read later" apparently mean the same thing. Fuckin... | "I'm checking for cracks in the safe search." you bluff, calmly.
"But, your safety search was off!" Protested Mr. Jenson, visibly sweating.
"One step at a time Johnny Boy," you close your case, with vigor in your words, "one step at a time." | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | Fucking Tim. The very last thing I did was ask him if he'd set up the search history for "Greg Smith." And what did he say? He did it "yesterday."
But with fucking Tim, "I did it yesterday" and "I'm totally going to do it today unless there's some awesome anime to read later" apparently mean the same thing. Fuckin... | "Of course I can explain!" I said a little to cheerily while I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. I knew exactly which search Ms. Crane was referring to when she said that she had found something unsavory in the Google Certified Vetting Procedure. Everyone knows the GCVP is the ultimate in background investigation techn... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "Triple fisting?"
"It's something my girlfriend is into...she wanted to watch porn together and turns out she's into some WEIRD stuff"
"What even is triple fisting?"
"3 fists 1 hole"
He looked disgusted and horrified, "My god...that will explain 'extreme insertions' 'Hyper futa' and 'bukkake'"
"Actually hyper futa... | The answer to your question,
I may be able to answer,
Because this Job with google I really want to happen,
The sudden, the bored,
The random and the whored,
All because I thought which was serious or funny,
And simply because I was bored and horny,
Yes I know, it's 90% pornography,
but who the hell cares,
It makes ... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "So. We have just one last question"
"Sure, what is it?"
"Your search history."
"My... what. I mean..."
"Yes. you heard correctly. Your search history."
"Well, what would you like to know. And for the record, you are talking about the things I search online on my computer, right?"
"Indeed. We just want to know on... | The answer to your question,
I may be able to answer,
Because this Job with google I really want to happen,
The sudden, the bored,
The random and the whored,
All because I thought which was serious or funny,
And simply because I was bored and horny,
Yes I know, it's 90% pornography,
but who the hell cares,
It makes ... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | There was a long, painfully drawn out pause. I waited. Carefully regulated my breaths, keeping my face serene. Breathe in. Breathe out. In. Out. What were they waiting for? Is this some kind of test to see if I’m comfortable with awkward silences? Is that some new criterion I need to pass? I could see that, I rationali... | The answer to your question,
I may be able to answer,
Because this Job with google I really want to happen,
The sudden, the bored,
The random and the whored,
All because I thought which was serious or funny,
And simply because I was bored and horny,
Yes I know, it's 90% pornography,
but who the hell cares,
It makes ... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | “Detective Farrow, he is approaching the building.” A voice drones in my earpiece. I nod, drumming my fingers on the table in anticipation, as I read over my notes for the fourth time in the last ten and half minutes. We have him. Finally. Today, Pitch Black—a mysterious serial killer who paints his victim’s faces in b... | The answer to your question,
I may be able to answer,
Because this Job with google I really want to happen,
The sudden, the bored,
The random and the whored,
All because I thought which was serious or funny,
And simply because I was bored and horny,
Yes I know, it's 90% pornography,
but who the hell cares,
It makes ... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "Mr. Ramos, we are ready to see you now," said a voice from within the conference room.
I put on a winning smile as I strolled in and tried not to lose it as I took in my surroundings. Tony, a laidback man in tattered jeans, told me in the previous interview that Google employees work in a better mood when they get lo... | The answer to your question,
I may be able to answer,
Because this Job with google I really want to happen,
The sudden, the bored,
The random and the whored,
All because I thought which was serious or funny,
And simply because I was bored and horny,
Yes I know, it's 90% pornography,
but who the hell cares,
It makes ... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "You've been doing great Johnson there's just one more thing,
I'd like to know why you've searched 12 times for Bing,
We'll chalk it up to just typing bling with a typo,
But I can't explain these searches, perhaps you might know?
The first several items aren't any concern,
"Pornhub", research, "cream for a sunburn... | The answer to your question,
I may be able to answer,
Because this Job with google I really want to happen,
The sudden, the bored,
The random and the whored,
All because I thought which was serious or funny,
And simply because I was bored and horny,
Yes I know, it's 90% pornography,
but who the hell cares,
It makes ... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "Triple fisting?"
"It's something my girlfriend is into...she wanted to watch porn together and turns out she's into some WEIRD stuff"
"What even is triple fisting?"
"3 fists 1 hole"
He looked disgusted and horrified, "My god...that will explain 'extreme insertions' 'Hyper futa' and 'bukkake'"
"Actually hyper futa... | The man interviewing me Looked up from a sheet of paper he was holding in his hand. " Mr. Smith, everything seems to be in order and we would love to extend an offer sheet to you." "Great," I said. "Well I want to acc....." Before I could finish he interrupted me, "but we are going to need you to explain this search hi... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "So. We have just one last question"
"Sure, what is it?"
"Your search history."
"My... what. I mean..."
"Yes. you heard correctly. Your search history."
"Well, what would you like to know. And for the record, you are talking about the things I search online on my computer, right?"
"Indeed. We just want to know on... | The man interviewing me Looked up from a sheet of paper he was holding in his hand. " Mr. Smith, everything seems to be in order and we would love to extend an offer sheet to you." "Great," I said. "Well I want to acc....." Before I could finish he interrupted me, "but we are going to need you to explain this search hi... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | There was a long, painfully drawn out pause. I waited. Carefully regulated my breaths, keeping my face serene. Breathe in. Breathe out. In. Out. What were they waiting for? Is this some kind of test to see if I’m comfortable with awkward silences? Is that some new criterion I need to pass? I could see that, I rationali... | The man interviewing me Looked up from a sheet of paper he was holding in his hand. " Mr. Smith, everything seems to be in order and we would love to extend an offer sheet to you." "Great," I said. "Well I want to acc....." Before I could finish he interrupted me, "but we are going to need you to explain this search hi... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | “Detective Farrow, he is approaching the building.” A voice drones in my earpiece. I nod, drumming my fingers on the table in anticipation, as I read over my notes for the fourth time in the last ten and half minutes. We have him. Finally. Today, Pitch Black—a mysterious serial killer who paints his victim’s faces in b... | The man interviewing me Looked up from a sheet of paper he was holding in his hand. " Mr. Smith, everything seems to be in order and we would love to extend an offer sheet to you." "Great," I said. "Well I want to acc....." Before I could finish he interrupted me, "but we are going to need you to explain this search hi... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "You've been doing great Johnson there's just one more thing,
I'd like to know why you've searched 12 times for Bing,
We'll chalk it up to just typing bling with a typo,
But I can't explain these searches, perhaps you might know?
The first several items aren't any concern,
"Pornhub", research, "cream for a sunburn... | The man interviewing me Looked up from a sheet of paper he was holding in his hand. " Mr. Smith, everything seems to be in order and we would love to extend an offer sheet to you." "Great," I said. "Well I want to acc....." Before I could finish he interrupted me, "but we are going to need you to explain this search hi... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "Triple fisting?"
"It's something my girlfriend is into...she wanted to watch porn together and turns out she's into some WEIRD stuff"
"What even is triple fisting?"
"3 fists 1 hole"
He looked disgusted and horrified, "My god...that will explain 'extreme insertions' 'Hyper futa' and 'bukkake'"
"Actually hyper futa... | "I'm a pervert" I boldly stated.
"That explains everything." The Google executive spoke softly. "I'm sorry but I think we'll be going in a different direction."
"Great! Different directions is a fetish of mine."
Security was called immediately after I started taking my clothes off. Guess I'm going back to the une... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "So. We have just one last question"
"Sure, what is it?"
"Your search history."
"My... what. I mean..."
"Yes. you heard correctly. Your search history."
"Well, what would you like to know. And for the record, you are talking about the things I search online on my computer, right?"
"Indeed. We just want to know on... | "I'm a pervert" I boldly stated.
"That explains everything." The Google executive spoke softly. "I'm sorry but I think we'll be going in a different direction."
"Great! Different directions is a fetish of mine."
Security was called immediately after I started taking my clothes off. Guess I'm going back to the une... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | There was a long, painfully drawn out pause. I waited. Carefully regulated my breaths, keeping my face serene. Breathe in. Breathe out. In. Out. What were they waiting for? Is this some kind of test to see if I’m comfortable with awkward silences? Is that some new criterion I need to pass? I could see that, I rationali... | "I'm a pervert" I boldly stated.
"That explains everything." The Google executive spoke softly. "I'm sorry but I think we'll be going in a different direction."
"Great! Different directions is a fetish of mine."
Security was called immediately after I started taking my clothes off. Guess I'm going back to the une... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "So. We have just one last question"
"Sure, what is it?"
"Your search history."
"My... what. I mean..."
"Yes. you heard correctly. Your search history."
"Well, what would you like to know. And for the record, you are talking about the things I search online on my computer, right?"
"Indeed. We just want to know on... | "Triple fisting?"
"It's something my girlfriend is into...she wanted to watch porn together and turns out she's into some WEIRD stuff"
"What even is triple fisting?"
"3 fists 1 hole"
He looked disgusted and horrified, "My god...that will explain 'extreme insertions' 'Hyper futa' and 'bukkake'"
"Actually hyper futa... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | There was a long, painfully drawn out pause. I waited. Carefully regulated my breaths, keeping my face serene. Breathe in. Breathe out. In. Out. What were they waiting for? Is this some kind of test to see if I’m comfortable with awkward silences? Is that some new criterion I need to pass? I could see that, I rationali... | "Triple fisting?"
"It's something my girlfriend is into...she wanted to watch porn together and turns out she's into some WEIRD stuff"
"What even is triple fisting?"
"3 fists 1 hole"
He looked disgusted and horrified, "My god...that will explain 'extreme insertions' 'Hyper futa' and 'bukkake'"
"Actually hyper futa... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "Mr. Ramos, we are ready to see you now," said a voice from within the conference room.
I put on a winning smile as I strolled in and tried not to lose it as I took in my surroundings. Tony, a laidback man in tattered jeans, told me in the previous interview that Google employees work in a better mood when they get lo... | "There's just one thing about your search history..bomb making, terrorist threats, inciting riots at rallies, is this really the man who we want to work here?"
"Death to free speech!"
"Welcome aboard!" | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "You've been doing great Johnson there's just one more thing,
I'd like to know why you've searched 12 times for Bing,
We'll chalk it up to just typing bling with a typo,
But I can't explain these searches, perhaps you might know?
The first several items aren't any concern,
"Pornhub", research, "cream for a sunburn... | "There's just one thing about your search history..bomb making, terrorist threats, inciting riots at rallies, is this really the man who we want to work here?"
"Death to free speech!"
"Welcome aboard!" | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "So Mr. Maxfieldwins it seems like you're a great candidate for this position, we just have one last question."
Well shit. They found my search history. I suppose it was only a matter of time but I had hoped it wouldn't come down to this.. "what's your question?" I asked nervously
"Your search history is quite conce... | "There's just one thing about your search history..bomb making, terrorist threats, inciting riots at rallies, is this really the man who we want to work here?"
"Death to free speech!"
"Welcome aboard!" | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "So," he paused, formulating what he was going to say next, "here's the thing." *Oh god.* I freeze. Nothing good has ever come after that sentence. It was all going so well - I was finally going to be able to put all my hard work to use. The tireless hours of studying for my Computer Science degree, gathering reference... | "There's just one thing about your search history..bomb making, terrorist threats, inciting riots at rallies, is this really the man who we want to work here?"
"Death to free speech!"
"Welcome aboard!" | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "You've been doing great Johnson there's just one more thing,
I'd like to know why you've searched 12 times for Bing,
We'll chalk it up to just typing bling with a typo,
But I can't explain these searches, perhaps you might know?
The first several items aren't any concern,
"Pornhub", research, "cream for a sunburn... | "Mr. Ramos, we are ready to see you now," said a voice from within the conference room.
I put on a winning smile as I strolled in and tried not to lose it as I took in my surroundings. Tony, a laidback man in tattered jeans, told me in the previous interview that Google employees work in a better mood when they get lo... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "So," he paused, formulating what he was going to say next, "here's the thing." *Oh god.* I freeze. Nothing good has ever come after that sentence. It was all going so well - I was finally going to be able to put all my hard work to use. The tireless hours of studying for my Computer Science degree, gathering reference... | "I'm writing a novel."
"You're writing a novel," the interviewer puts his hands on the desk. I give a smile that I hope looks like a smile and not like a grimace. "A novel about...what, exactly?"
"A novel about...guns. And...sharks...in tornadoes. And..uh...well, you know there was one chapter where the main charac... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "My search history?!"
"Yes Mr. Thorman. It's part of our interview process at this stage. Standard question, really."
"Oh. Standard. Completely normal."
"Yes."
"So, anyone can just, pop that question on me? That's normal, is that what you're telling me?"
"Mr. Thorman, it's a standard question for our *int... | "I'm writing a novel."
"You're writing a novel," the interviewer puts his hands on the desk. I give a smile that I hope looks like a smile and not like a grimace. "A novel about...what, exactly?"
"A novel about...guns. And...sharks...in tornadoes. And..uh...well, you know there was one chapter where the main charac... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | I must admit, I expected everything to be much more challenging. But it turns out interviewing at Google is not that difficult. My experience definitely helped a lot, being involved in the past with a bunch of giants from IT. But the weirdness just begun. The last part of the interview happens in what it looked like a ... | "I'm writing a novel."
"You're writing a novel," the interviewer puts his hands on the desk. I give a smile that I hope looks like a smile and not like a grimace. "A novel about...what, exactly?"
"A novel about...guns. And...sharks...in tornadoes. And..uh...well, you know there was one chapter where the main charac... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | The knock on my door came like a blast of thunder. I jumped up in my armchair and looked at the time. Eight past midnight.
"Who's that?" I called. The armchair was so soft I didn't want to get up for no good reason.
"I'm Ms. Vernon from Google. We scheduled an interview today, remember?"
I groaned and shambled to th... | "I'm writing a novel."
"You're writing a novel," the interviewer puts his hands on the desk. I give a smile that I hope looks like a smile and not like a grimace. "A novel about...what, exactly?"
"A novel about...guns. And...sharks...in tornadoes. And..uh...well, you know there was one chapter where the main charac... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "So," he paused, formulating what he was going to say next, "here's the thing." *Oh god.* I freeze. Nothing good has ever come after that sentence. It was all going so well - I was finally going to be able to put all my hard work to use. The tireless hours of studying for my Computer Science degree, gathering reference... | “So Mr. Anderson, thanks for your patience. My name is Smith and I’m in charge of security around here."
“Nice to meet you”, Thomas said while Mr. Smith sat down at the other side of the table. Thomas only wondered briefly about Mr. Smith’s sunglasses and his very, very black suit.
“As you know this is your final int... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "My search history?!"
"Yes Mr. Thorman. It's part of our interview process at this stage. Standard question, really."
"Oh. Standard. Completely normal."
"Yes."
"So, anyone can just, pop that question on me? That's normal, is that what you're telling me?"
"Mr. Thorman, it's a standard question for our *int... | “So Mr. Anderson, thanks for your patience. My name is Smith and I’m in charge of security around here."
“Nice to meet you”, Thomas said while Mr. Smith sat down at the other side of the table. Thomas only wondered briefly about Mr. Smith’s sunglasses and his very, very black suit.
“As you know this is your final int... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "There's just one thing. Your search history."
My heart started beating like crazy. *I took very precaution*, I thought. I deleted all of my search history. I used a VPN. Hell, I even used another computer.
What could they have found out? My infidelity towards my wife? My mentally unstable phase? No, not...... | “So Mr. Anderson, thanks for your patience. My name is Smith and I’m in charge of security around here."
“Nice to meet you”, Thomas said while Mr. Smith sat down at the other side of the table. Thomas only wondered briefly about Mr. Smith’s sunglasses and his very, very black suit.
“As you know this is your final int... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | I must admit, I expected everything to be much more challenging. But it turns out interviewing at Google is not that difficult. My experience definitely helped a lot, being involved in the past with a bunch of giants from IT. But the weirdness just begun. The last part of the interview happens in what it looked like a ... | “So Mr. Anderson, thanks for your patience. My name is Smith and I’m in charge of security around here."
“Nice to meet you”, Thomas said while Mr. Smith sat down at the other side of the table. Thomas only wondered briefly about Mr. Smith’s sunglasses and his very, very black suit.
“As you know this is your final int... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | The knock on my door came like a blast of thunder. I jumped up in my armchair and looked at the time. Eight past midnight.
"Who's that?" I called. The armchair was so soft I didn't want to get up for no good reason.
"I'm Ms. Vernon from Google. We scheduled an interview today, remember?"
I groaned and shambled to th... | “So Mr. Anderson, thanks for your patience. My name is Smith and I’m in charge of security around here."
“Nice to meet you”, Thomas said while Mr. Smith sat down at the other side of the table. Thomas only wondered briefly about Mr. Smith’s sunglasses and his very, very black suit.
“As you know this is your final int... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "Well, Mr. Powell," the interviewer adjusted his glasses, "Your references all seem to be in order, and everyone spoke very highly of you."
The last knot in my stomach unraveled. *Thank god*. I mean, I knew that I would have nothing to worry about. Otherwise, why would I have listed those people as references? But sti... | “So Mr. Anderson, thanks for your patience. My name is Smith and I’m in charge of security around here."
“Nice to meet you”, Thomas said while Mr. Smith sat down at the other side of the table. Thomas only wondered briefly about Mr. Smith’s sunglasses and his very, very black suit.
“As you know this is your final int... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | I must admit, I expected everything to be much more challenging. But it turns out interviewing at Google is not that difficult. My experience definitely helped a lot, being involved in the past with a bunch of giants from IT. But the weirdness just begun. The last part of the interview happens in what it looked like a ... | "There's just one thing. Your search history."
My heart started beating like crazy. *I took very precaution*, I thought. I deleted all of my search history. I used a VPN. Hell, I even used another computer.
What could they have found out? My infidelity towards my wife? My mentally unstable phase? No, not...... | |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | The knock on my door came like a blast of thunder. I jumped up in my armchair and looked at the time. Eight past midnight.
"Who's that?" I called. The armchair was so soft I didn't want to get up for no good reason.
"I'm Ms. Vernon from Google. We scheduled an interview today, remember?"
I groaned and shambled to th... | "There's just one thing. Your search history."
My heart started beating like crazy. *I took very precaution*, I thought. I deleted all of my search history. I used a VPN. Hell, I even used another computer.
What could they have found out? My infidelity towards my wife? My mentally unstable phase? No, not...... | |
[WP] When I was 16 my father pulled me out of school and shoved me in the car. His eyes didn't leave the road as he threw a gun in my lap and said, "We're going to get your mother." | "Does that mean you believe me," I asked, out loud, though I'd been wondering ever since I'd told him what I'd seen a week ago.
His eyes shifted to me, almost imperceptibly, but I could see the corner of his mouth quivering in profile. There was sweat on his brow. His skin was flushed and waxy. He didn't have to confi... | I understood immediately.
“How did you find her?” I look over to him.
Dad’s mouth remained pursed in a thin line. His eyes locked, expression empty.
“Where is she?”
This time he answered. “Industrial park warehouse off Branchville. Near the petrochem refineries.”
I rubbed the pistol in my lap, its cylinder co... | |
[WP] When I was 16 my father pulled me out of school and shoved me in the car. His eyes didn't leave the road as he threw a gun in my lap and said, "We're going to get your mother." | He had pulled me out of school after lunch and made a scene in the hallway yelling at the principal, "This is my son and I'll take him out of school if I want to!"
He smelled like the bar again. He always smelled like the bar these days and he was always yelling at everyone, like the whole world was against him. I di... | I understood immediately.
“How did you find her?” I look over to him.
Dad’s mouth remained pursed in a thin line. His eyes locked, expression empty.
“Where is she?”
This time he answered. “Industrial park warehouse off Branchville. Near the petrochem refineries.”
I rubbed the pistol in my lap, its cylinder co... | |
[WP] When I was 16 my father pulled me out of school and shoved me in the car. His eyes didn't leave the road as he threw a gun in my lap and said, "We're going to get your mother." | It was a semi-normal day. Math class first period, History second, Gym third, then Mechanics last. It felt good knowing that summer had finally come and that school was almost over. The thought had eased my mind and I was beginning to relax, but I was sorely mistaken. The intercom boomed over my history teacher in the ... | I understood immediately.
“How did you find her?” I look over to him.
Dad’s mouth remained pursed in a thin line. His eyes locked, expression empty.
“Where is she?”
This time he answered. “Industrial park warehouse off Branchville. Near the petrochem refineries.”
I rubbed the pistol in my lap, its cylinder co... | |
[WP] When I was 16 my father pulled me out of school and shoved me in the car. His eyes didn't leave the road as he threw a gun in my lap and said, "We're going to get your mother." | Pat Two.
As I nodded to my father, my fingers wrapped around the handle of the passenger door of our family's SUV. Before giving the handle one solid jerk, I watched my father slide himself from the driver's seat and out into the middle of the intersection. With the same intensity as before, his eyes darted back and ... | I understood immediately.
“How did you find her?” I look over to him.
Dad’s mouth remained pursed in a thin line. His eyes locked, expression empty.
“Where is she?”
This time he answered. “Industrial park warehouse off Branchville. Near the petrochem refineries.”
I rubbed the pistol in my lap, its cylinder co... |
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