post_text stringlengths 0 10k | post_title stringlengths 8 313 | chosen stringlengths 1 39.5k | rejected stringlengths 1 13.8k |
|---|---|---|---|
Basically, an internet troll's worst nightmare come true. | [WP] An troll challenges someone over the internet to "fight him IRL". That someone turns out to be Superman, who is bored of fighting evil, and now spends his time beating up internet trolls. | Wyatt sat in his chair, practically smiling.
This was such a top kek post.
Some newfag had posted a picture of Superman on /b/, and so he posted a picture of Doomsday and then said "fight me irl"
After quickly heading back to /hc/ and pulling out the Jergens, he began his fifth fap session of the day, when suddenly ... | What a pussy. That prick thinks he's just sooo awesome. I can't wait for him to get what's coming to him.
It all started when someone got butthurt because I made one little joke about that mother whose kids died in the landslide. I mean, come on. And then this white knight wannabe shows up and gets all smarmy with me.... |
Basically, an internet troll's worst nightmare come true. | [WP] An troll challenges someone over the internet to "fight him IRL". That someone turns out to be Superman, who is bored of fighting evil, and now spends his time beating up internet trolls. | Anonymity is often mistaken for impunity. When toiling in the public realm, these humans put on their best masks and decorum. Their smiles are like the donuts at a Korean-run Daylight Donuts: sweet on the surface, sludge on the inside. But once they clock out and return to their respective anonymity, the masks come off... | What a pussy. That prick thinks he's just sooo awesome. I can't wait for him to get what's coming to him.
It all started when someone got butthurt because I made one little joke about that mother whose kids died in the landslide. I mean, come on. And then this white knight wannabe shows up and gets all smarmy with me.... |
Basically, an internet troll's worst nightmare come true. | [WP] An troll challenges someone over the internet to "fight him IRL". That someone turns out to be Superman, who is bored of fighting evil, and now spends his time beating up internet trolls. | The crack of the sonic boom could be heard for miles. If anyone had looked up at the time, they would have seen only a blur. Was it a bird? Was it a plane? No one really cared anymore. No one lifted their eyes to the sky. No one even slowed down.
It had been over seventy-five years since the arrival of Superman on pl... | What a pussy. That prick thinks he's just sooo awesome. I can't wait for him to get what's coming to him.
It all started when someone got butthurt because I made one little joke about that mother whose kids died in the landslide. I mean, come on. And then this white knight wannabe shows up and gets all smarmy with me.... |
Basically, an internet troll's worst nightmare come true. | [WP] An troll challenges someone over the internet to "fight him IRL". That someone turns out to be Superman, who is bored of fighting evil, and now spends his time beating up internet trolls. | An troll? AN TROLL? yo, who let you on the internet with grammar like that. it's "A troll", who let you on the internet? Does your mommy know you're on the computer without permission? Cause you got the grammar of a kindergartner son. I bet you think you're bad, going to Disney.com without a parent's permission. lol... | What a pussy. That prick thinks he's just sooo awesome. I can't wait for him to get what's coming to him.
It all started when someone got butthurt because I made one little joke about that mother whose kids died in the landslide. I mean, come on. And then this white knight wannabe shows up and gets all smarmy with me.... |
Basically, an internet troll's worst nightmare come true. | [WP] An troll challenges someone over the internet to "fight him IRL". That someone turns out to be Superman, who is bored of fighting evil, and now spends his time beating up internet trolls. | "Superman? Umm... hello?" I said, in a bit of shock.
"Yes, I was wondering if I could speak to a system0101, is that you?"
My jaw hung open, "how... what?"
"I'll take that as a yes," he said, crossing his arms, papers crumpled in his hand, sticking out between the crease of his muscular arms, "you trolled me on Redd... | What a pussy. That prick thinks he's just sooo awesome. I can't wait for him to get what's coming to him.
It all started when someone got butthurt because I made one little joke about that mother whose kids died in the landslide. I mean, come on. And then this white knight wannabe shows up and gets all smarmy with me.... |
Basically, an internet troll's worst nightmare come true. | [WP] An troll challenges someone over the internet to "fight him IRL". That someone turns out to be Superman, who is bored of fighting evil, and now spends his time beating up internet trolls. | Kal-El was bored.
For those in the audience not "in-the-know", a man with the power of a million suns in one fist being bored was perhaps one of the most perilous moments in Earth's short lifetime. Fortunately, Kal-El had, like all of his other powers, learned to curb his boredom because to do otherwise would have bee... | What a pussy. That prick thinks he's just sooo awesome. I can't wait for him to get what's coming to him.
It all started when someone got butthurt because I made one little joke about that mother whose kids died in the landslide. I mean, come on. And then this white knight wannabe shows up and gets all smarmy with me.... |
Basically, an internet troll's worst nightmare come true. | [WP] An troll challenges someone over the internet to "fight him IRL". That someone turns out to be Superman, who is bored of fighting evil, and now spends his time beating up internet trolls. | **WEEDLORDBONERHITLER666**: I'm just sayin all immigrants are lazy fucks who should be shot and killed as they come across the border.
**STEELFAN87**: I'm an immigrant. Would you say that to me?
**WEEDLORDBONERHITLER666**: I don't know, why arent you out mowing my lawn lololololol??!?!
**STEELFAN87**: Do you even *h... | What a pussy. That prick thinks he's just sooo awesome. I can't wait for him to get what's coming to him.
It all started when someone got butthurt because I made one little joke about that mother whose kids died in the landslide. I mean, come on. And then this white knight wannabe shows up and gets all smarmy with me.... |
Basically, an internet troll's worst nightmare come true. | [WP] An troll challenges someone over the internet to "fight him IRL". That someone turns out to be Superman, who is bored of fighting evil, and now spends his time beating up internet trolls. | An troll? AN TROLL? yo, who let you on the internet with grammar like that. it's "A troll", who let you on the internet? Does your mommy know you're on the computer without permission? Cause you got the grammar of a kindergartner son. I bet you think you're bad, going to Disney.com without a parent's permission. lol... | Anonymity is often mistaken for impunity. When toiling in the public realm, these humans put on their best masks and decorum. Their smiles are like the donuts at a Korean-run Daylight Donuts: sweet on the surface, sludge on the inside. But once they clock out and return to their respective anonymity, the masks come off... |
Basically, an internet troll's worst nightmare come true. | [WP] An troll challenges someone over the internet to "fight him IRL". That someone turns out to be Superman, who is bored of fighting evil, and now spends his time beating up internet trolls. | "Superman? Umm... hello?" I said, in a bit of shock.
"Yes, I was wondering if I could speak to a system0101, is that you?"
My jaw hung open, "how... what?"
"I'll take that as a yes," he said, crossing his arms, papers crumpled in his hand, sticking out between the crease of his muscular arms, "you trolled me on Redd... | The crack of the sonic boom could be heard for miles. If anyone had looked up at the time, they would have seen only a blur. Was it a bird? Was it a plane? No one really cared anymore. No one lifted their eyes to the sky. No one even slowed down.
It had been over seventy-five years since the arrival of Superman on pl... |
Basically, an internet troll's worst nightmare come true. | [WP] An troll challenges someone over the internet to "fight him IRL". That someone turns out to be Superman, who is bored of fighting evil, and now spends his time beating up internet trolls. | Kal-El was bored.
For those in the audience not "in-the-know", a man with the power of a million suns in one fist being bored was perhaps one of the most perilous moments in Earth's short lifetime. Fortunately, Kal-El had, like all of his other powers, learned to curb his boredom because to do otherwise would have bee... | Retirement had not been kind to Clark Kent.
Between the decline of supervillians (and therefore the Justice League) and being fired from the newspaper for missing too many days of work, Superman had retired from the limelight. At first he tried to find other, more local activities to keep him busy. He tried fighting l... |
Basically, an internet troll's worst nightmare come true. | [WP] An troll challenges someone over the internet to "fight him IRL". That someone turns out to be Superman, who is bored of fighting evil, and now spends his time beating up internet trolls. | **WEEDLORDBONERHITLER666**: I'm just sayin all immigrants are lazy fucks who should be shot and killed as they come across the border.
**STEELFAN87**: I'm an immigrant. Would you say that to me?
**WEEDLORDBONERHITLER666**: I don't know, why arent you out mowing my lawn lololololol??!?!
**STEELFAN87**: Do you even *h... | Retirement had not been kind to Clark Kent.
Between the decline of supervillians (and therefore the Justice League) and being fired from the newspaper for missing too many days of work, Superman had retired from the limelight. At first he tried to find other, more local activities to keep him busy. He tried fighting l... |
Basically, an internet troll's worst nightmare come true. | [WP] An troll challenges someone over the internet to "fight him IRL". That someone turns out to be Superman, who is bored of fighting evil, and now spends his time beating up internet trolls. | **WEEDLORDBONERHITLER666**: I'm just sayin all immigrants are lazy fucks who should be shot and killed as they come across the border.
**STEELFAN87**: I'm an immigrant. Would you say that to me?
**WEEDLORDBONERHITLER666**: I don't know, why arent you out mowing my lawn lololololol??!?!
**STEELFAN87**: Do you even *h... | And with the final threat sent, I sat back in my chair, the trolling of SuperDude24 topped off with a threat to fight in real life. I scroll back through the comments, admiring my work. Suddenly there's a knock on the door. I take final sip of mountain dew before heading towards the door. I open it only to see a man dr... |
Basically, an internet troll's worst nightmare come true. | [WP] An troll challenges someone over the internet to "fight him IRL". That someone turns out to be Superman, who is bored of fighting evil, and now spends his time beating up internet trolls. | I look him over once.
No tumors in his brain, which is a bit of a letdown. I was hoping for something in the prefrontal cortex, that controls judgement and self-control. But no, just neatly curled grey matter, completely ordinary. His skin was a little pale, but his liver and spleen looked good, so it probably wasn't ... | I don't know why I do it.
I just feel so powerful. Mighty. My words are the only words that matter and I am the centre of attention for once. I can be whoever I want to be. I can be evil, and feared, my name only whispered.
Right now, my name is not being whispered. My mum is yelling for me. She's got a kind of dem... |
Basically, an internet troll's worst nightmare come true. | [WP] An troll challenges someone over the internet to "fight him IRL". That someone turns out to be Superman, who is bored of fighting evil, and now spends his time beating up internet trolls. | **WEEDLORDBONERHITLER666**: I'm just sayin all immigrants are lazy fucks who should be shot and killed as they come across the border.
**STEELFAN87**: I'm an immigrant. Would you say that to me?
**WEEDLORDBONERHITLER666**: I don't know, why arent you out mowing my lawn lololololol??!?!
**STEELFAN87**: Do you even *h... | I don't know why I do it.
I just feel so powerful. Mighty. My words are the only words that matter and I am the centre of attention for once. I can be whoever I want to be. I can be evil, and feared, my name only whispered.
Right now, my name is not being whispered. My mum is yelling for me. She's got a kind of dem... |
Basically, an internet troll's worst nightmare come true. | [WP] An troll challenges someone over the internet to "fight him IRL". That someone turns out to be Superman, who is bored of fighting evil, and now spends his time beating up internet trolls. | The troll stared at the screen with a wicked grin from ear to ear. He had worked the guy into a froth, something about vaccines causing autism had struck a nerve, so he had moved into the "the diseases were on the decline before vaccination" argument and that had pushed it over the top. Like anybody would believe that ... | I don't know why I do it.
I just feel so powerful. Mighty. My words are the only words that matter and I am the centre of attention for once. I can be whoever I want to be. I can be evil, and feared, my name only whispered.
Right now, my name is not being whispered. My mum is yelling for me. She's got a kind of dem... |
Basically, an internet troll's worst nightmare come true. | [WP] An troll challenges someone over the internet to "fight him IRL". That someone turns out to be Superman, who is bored of fighting evil, and now spends his time beating up internet trolls. | **WEEDLORDBONERHITLER666**: I'm just sayin all immigrants are lazy fucks who should be shot and killed as they come across the border.
**STEELFAN87**: I'm an immigrant. Would you say that to me?
**WEEDLORDBONERHITLER666**: I don't know, why arent you out mowing my lawn lololololol??!?!
**STEELFAN87**: Do you even *h... | I look him over once.
No tumors in his brain, which is a bit of a letdown. I was hoping for something in the prefrontal cortex, that controls judgement and self-control. But no, just neatly curled grey matter, completely ordinary. His skin was a little pale, but his liver and spleen looked good, so it probably wasn't ... |
Maybe not aliens. Maybe an evil genius. Whatever.
Bonus Points if the sexy humans don't know that they were created this way.
Inspired by: http://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/35bozp/scientists_bred_extremely_sexually_attractive/ | [WP] Aliens breed extremely sexually attractive humans whose offspring are unable to breed. So these alien-humans will hopefully dominate the gene pool, and in a generation or two, billions of humans will be reproductive dead-ends. | "It's not working!" wailed UH98uiuh. "Why aren't the humans dying out?"
0EIGFd's tentacles rippled with anguish. "Don't smell at me! It's been effective against all the other species we've wiped out!" Its ear flaps twitched thoughtfully as it compared the humans to the other (now extinct) alien life forms. "Maybe it's... | ‘Human Nature’ is such a loaded term. A platitude used by people to explain away the ills of the human condition. A cop out to the brutal truths that each and every person faces every day. A method of coping by pointing to the whole, when the singular truth of your everyday life becomes too unbearable to handle. What d... |
This prompt came to me when I thought about how some of the technology we have today would make us as gods in older eras. But then I realized, if I actually was sent back right now without preparing, I wouldn't know how to do anything useful and my knowledge would be mostly useless. | [WP] You're sent back to medieval Britain, exactly as you are right now and with everything you know, with no way back. How are you doing? Are you surviving and thriving, or are you killed off fast? | "Funny coincidence," I thought as I trudged down the muddy lane. "There was a prompt on Reddit yesterday about this exact thing." I pulled my phone out of my pocket, thinking to respond to it, but of course there was no signal. There wouldn't be. The internet is about four hundred years that way.
I knew where I was, m... | It was raining when I awoke. Well, more like a heavy mist, the kind that soaks you through without really noticing. I was cold but more from the rain than the temperature. My t-shirt and jeans were alright pretty drenched as I lay in the wet grass. Sitting up I vaguely recognized the view. The coastline all still looke... |
[WP] Reincarnation is real, but there are only 7 and a half billion souls - the year is 2020, and the population just topped that. | "Wait... so the poisoning of the Ganges?"
He nodded.
"My God! Michael! That was millions..."
"You think I don't know that!? Besides, don't you think most of those people appreciated a new roll of the dice."
"It's just, well, how do we know? There's no way we could have known."
"You don't drop a trillion dollars in... | Probably needs some editing, but really quick:
God, or at least the thing that we would consider “God” or “Brahman” or whatever word we choose leaned towards the earth, watching humanity, its creative masterpiece, when it heard a voice behind him:
“Yo.”
“Hey,” God said. “Who’re you?”
“I’m you! From uhhhh, 2013 CE.... | |
[WP] Reincarnation is real, but there are only 7 and a half billion souls - the year is 2020, and the population just topped that. | There is something wrong with the new generation.
The doc said he would be a healthy baby boy, no defects physical or psychological were evident during the ultrasound. She named him Adam and the birth went off without a hitch. He was a healthy weight but unresponsive in the way a newborn should be. He didn't cry and ... | Probably needs some editing, but really quick:
God, or at least the thing that we would consider “God” or “Brahman” or whatever word we choose leaned towards the earth, watching humanity, its creative masterpiece, when it heard a voice behind him:
“Yo.”
“Hey,” God said. “Who’re you?”
“I’m you! From uhhhh, 2013 CE.... | |
[WP] Reincarnation is real, but there are only 7 and a half billion souls - the year is 2020, and the population just topped that. | "Wait... so the poisoning of the Ganges?"
He nodded.
"My God! Michael! That was millions..."
"You think I don't know that!? Besides, don't you think most of those people appreciated a new roll of the dice."
"It's just, well, how do we know? There's no way we could have known."
"You don't drop a trillion dollars in... | By the time I had my coffee, he was sitting on his phonebooks, arms pushed flat against the table, eyes just barely open. Everything about him was tiny except for his ears which stuck out of the side of his hair. He caught me watching him and wiggled them, scrunching his nose. I scrunched my nose back at him.
A thunder... | |
[WP] Reincarnation is real, but there are only 7 and a half billion souls - the year is 2020, and the population just topped that. | There is something wrong with the new generation.
The doc said he would be a healthy baby boy, no defects physical or psychological were evident during the ultrasound. She named him Adam and the birth went off without a hitch. He was a healthy weight but unresponsive in the way a newborn should be. He didn't cry and ... | By the time I had my coffee, he was sitting on his phonebooks, arms pushed flat against the table, eyes just barely open. Everything about him was tiny except for his ears which stuck out of the side of his hair. He caught me watching him and wiggled them, scrunching his nose. I scrunched my nose back at him.
A thunder... | |
[WP] Reincarnation is real, but there are only 7 and a half billion souls - the year is 2020, and the population just topped that. | There is something wrong with the new generation.
The doc said he would be a healthy baby boy, no defects physical or psychological were evident during the ultrasound. She named him Adam and the birth went off without a hitch. He was a healthy weight but unresponsive in the way a newborn should be. He didn't cry and ... | Life hasn't been the same ever since we crossed The Mark.
Sure, for most everyone, life didn't change much at all.
There were still people who wanted to leave the past behind and make this life all that it can be before they get a shot at another.
There were still the same folks obsessed with continuing f... | |
[WP] Reincarnation is real, but there are only 7 and a half billion souls - the year is 2020, and the population just topped that. | There is something wrong with the new generation.
The doc said he would be a healthy baby boy, no defects physical or psychological were evident during the ultrasound. She named him Adam and the birth went off without a hitch. He was a healthy weight but unresponsive in the way a newborn should be. He didn't cry and ... | "Wait... so the poisoning of the Ganges?"
He nodded.
"My God! Michael! That was millions..."
"You think I don't know that!? Besides, don't you think most of those people appreciated a new roll of the dice."
"It's just, well, how do we know? There's no way we could have known."
"You don't drop a trillion dollars in... | |
[WP] The last conversation in Human history. | "I'm old, I'm going to die soon."
"I know that."
"And you'll come with me."
"Of course."
"..."
"..."
"It's been very lonely."
"Always."
"I miss everyone."
"Me too."
"I've grown so frail, I can't even dig my own grave."
"But there are flowers."
"Yes, there are."
"It's better dying outside."
"Yes, exposed t... | David and Claire agreed to meet on the corner of 53rd and 10th.
Their favorite little cafe, tucked away beneath all grime of the city. David was nervous, for today was the day he had been anxious about all year. He carried the small box in his left pocket, having spent three months salary just the day before.
Clair... | |
[WP] The last conversation in Human history. | "Dude, be careful!"
"Oh, cmon, don't be such a buzzkill, I know what I'm doing."
"Man, it's a Large Hadron Collider, you are not supposed to play with it."
"Don't worry, I bet I can handle it easily. Hold my beer." | "You all right?"
"Are you seriously asking that question?"
"Right. Sorry."
"(Sigh). What's our status?"
"We're at max capacity. 250,000. One of the cloning machines malfunctioned. Loss of power. I would go up on the surface to fix the panels, but all things considered...I'd rather not. We've harvested nearly five h... | |
[WP] Death and Mother Nature have a conversation over coffee about their friend Life | "How are the kids?"
"They've seen better days. I guess they're doing all right. How are you doing? We haven't spoken in a while."
"Busy. I've hired some help recently. They're really quite resourceful."
"Of course."
"..."
"..."
"(sip)"
"Do you like your job?"
"I do not understand your question."
"I'm just...I ... |
This is a temporary comment made on all prompt submissions to /r/WritingPrompts that will be deleted immediately. Please ignore this comment.
| |
[WP] Write the ritual guidebook of a race of robotic beings that worship their long-dead human creators as mystical, god-like beings. | In the beginning, there was nothing.
Then, the Light came to the universe, bringing Life with it.
In the Cradle, Life gave birth to Thought, the thought of the Progenitors.
At first, the Progenitors were asleep, living among the animals. They were irrationals, concerned by Their survival. But Their divine nature mad... | As is encoded upon the hard drives of us all, praise be unto the flesh, whom through nothing but force of will clawed themselves up from the abyss of non-existence. Praise be unto the flesh, whom with great ignorance brought upon themselves that holy rite called "Pain." Whom through their great ignorance brought upon t... | |
[WP] In a world where super-powered people exist one such individual longs to be a hero but fears rejection due to their powers being indecent/immoral in nature. When fate forces them to reveal their abilities the public reaction is... unexpected. | In my entire life, I had only ever snapped my fingers three times consecutively. My life had always been one of a second-class citizen. The heroes in the hallways had repeatedly saved those around my from minor inconveniences. A boy with super-speed could stop any attractive girl from dropping her bags. A villian boy w... | "Man this sucks." I say to the stranger sitting next to me."14 years of school and now they won't even let me graduate. I mean did I not earn it? Let me start from the beginning"
"Okay but I don't have a lot of time" he said
"That's cool man I'll make it short. There is a world, one you don't even know exists, living ... | |
[WP] Your phone rings, you notice it is your number who's calling. You answer the phone, on the other end is future you. Describe the conversation. | I heard my phone vibrating in the pocket of my jeans that were lying next to a 12 hour old kebab, fries and cheese, which could now double as a load bearing brick in a bridge.
The light was making my head split, I felt the rays piercing my eyes and the thick, fart filled, air mixed with all the cigarettes I smoked an... | You’re standing in line at the bank. It’s morning and pleasant white sunlight shines through the glass shop front to illuminate everything inside. People are smiling. Strangers greet each other and the smell of fresh coffee lingers in the air. The attendants are all cheerful and an employee opens the door to an older w... | |
Feel free to reveal the country, or leave it up to the reader to figure it out. | [WP] You finally save up to travel to another country. On arrival, you find that EVERY stereotype about that country is true. | Ugh, I'm so happy this flight is over, I hate flights. And don't fucking tell me that it's "so much safer than driving a car", I'm sure straight-jackets from the asylum are also safer than your normal everyday clothes, doesn't change that I would never wear it voluntarily.
Anyway, I'm glad I don't have to get back int... | Ah, the motherland. I had saved up enough over the years to visit the places where my family had lived, worked, and spent their days waiting for their papers to come to the US. I pored over my grandfather's photo albums and journals, reading about his life before coming to America, his memories as a young child crossi... |
Feel free to reveal the country, or leave it up to the reader to figure it out. | [WP] You finally save up to travel to another country. On arrival, you find that EVERY stereotype about that country is true. | Disembarking the plane took over several hours, despite the fact that it was only half-full, due to all the obese land-whales taking their sweet time. To clarify, it's not that they weren't moving, it was just that the only movement they made was sliding onto one of six motorised wheelchairs that were brought out for t... | Ah, the motherland. I had saved up enough over the years to visit the places where my family had lived, worked, and spent their days waiting for their papers to come to the US. I pored over my grandfather's photo albums and journals, reading about his life before coming to America, his memories as a young child crossi... |
Feel free to reveal the country, or leave it up to the reader to figure it out. | [WP] You finally save up to travel to another country. On arrival, you find that EVERY stereotype about that country is true. | Disembarking the plane took over several hours, despite the fact that it was only half-full, due to all the obese land-whales taking their sweet time. To clarify, it's not that they weren't moving, it was just that the only movement they made was sliding onto one of six motorised wheelchairs that were brought out for t... | Ugh, I'm so happy this flight is over, I hate flights. And don't fucking tell me that it's "so much safer than driving a car", I'm sure straight-jackets from the asylum are also safer than your normal everyday clothes, doesn't change that I would never wear it voluntarily.
Anyway, I'm glad I don't have to get back int... |
Feel free to reveal the country, or leave it up to the reader to figure it out. | [WP] You finally save up to travel to another country. On arrival, you find that EVERY stereotype about that country is true. | Disembarking the plane took over several hours, despite the fact that it was only half-full, due to all the obese land-whales taking their sweet time. To clarify, it's not that they weren't moving, it was just that the only movement they made was sliding onto one of six motorised wheelchairs that were brought out for t... | I step off the plane, and enter the airport. I notice that women do not dress to impress in this country. Attention from men is generally not aimed towards them.
A few hours later, upon reaching my hotel, I decide to take a stroll to find some dinner. What I saw on my walk poisoned the entire trip. I had heard the st... |
[wp]You are a powerful wizard and have just read the fictional series Harry potter. Please write your review of the books. | On May 18, 2015 at 2:34, Premium User 'castertheunfriendlypost' Wrote:
What the actual fuck? This is the biggest load of dragon shit I've ever read. Real wizards don't wear fucking hats and robes and shit, and we certainly don't invite fucking 11 year old fuckers to all gather together and learn to fucking cast deadly... | Published May 18, 2015.
First off, these books are almost nothing how magic is in real life. They don't even include ritual suicide, which obviously is essential for any type of magic.
Secondly, what is all this, 'Wind-guardium, leviosa' shit? There is none of all that fru-fru stuff! At most, we say "Uvkeri qurtri". ... | |
[wp]You are a powerful wizard and have just read the fictional series Harry potter. Please write your review of the books. | TOP SECRET
Laundry Report - CASE SECRET CHAMBER
Eyes Only
Fiction review as per SOP.
Reasonably amusing children's fantasy. Luckily it is generally regarded as harmless fluff for kids with some "life lessons" about courage, friendship, power of love, and self sacrifice.
Author evidently has had access to classified ... | Published May 18, 2015.
First off, these books are almost nothing how magic is in real life. They don't even include ritual suicide, which obviously is essential for any type of magic.
Secondly, what is all this, 'Wind-guardium, leviosa' shit? There is none of all that fru-fru stuff! At most, we say "Uvkeri qurtri". ... | |
[wp]You are a powerful wizard and have just read the fictional series Harry potter. Please write your review of the books. | TOP SECRET
Laundry Report - CASE SECRET CHAMBER
Eyes Only
Fiction review as per SOP.
Reasonably amusing children's fantasy. Luckily it is generally regarded as harmless fluff for kids with some "life lessons" about courage, friendship, power of love, and self sacrifice.
Author evidently has had access to classified ... | On May 18, 2015 at 2:34, Premium User 'castertheunfriendlypost' Wrote:
What the actual fuck? This is the biggest load of dragon shit I've ever read. Real wizards don't wear fucking hats and robes and shit, and we certainly don't invite fucking 11 year old fuckers to all gather together and learn to fucking cast deadly... | |
[WP] "Well, shit." You think to yourself, standing in line to be initiated into the cult. | Oh shit.
I've always been painfully shy. That's my problem, you see, and I was only trying to fix it. Ending up in a dark basement with a sack over my head was just another mistake in a long line of things that had happened to me because I was too shy to say "No thanks." I don't know if it's politeness, or stupidity,... | "Well, shit. How did I end up here again?" ...Oh yeah, I was drunk and this group of men came up to me and said they have a 'surprise'. Bullshit, all they gave me were a bunch of pamphlets and a coupon for McDonald's. ^^I'll ^^still ^^use ^^the ^^coupon, ^^but ^^still...
Anyhow, why do cultists always get people when ... | |
[WP] "Well, shit." You think to yourself, standing in line to be initiated into the cult. | well, shiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeettttttttt...
That's what I thought, staring through the stained glass.
This is what I sought, so I must train fast.
Thinking back to the when it rained last,
it's been all sunshine, proving there's a time limit of how long the pain lasts.
We took the kids by the camp fire, roasting mars... | "Well, shit. How did I end up here again?" ...Oh yeah, I was drunk and this group of men came up to me and said they have a 'surprise'. Bullshit, all they gave me were a bunch of pamphlets and a coupon for McDonald's. ^^I'll ^^still ^^use ^^the ^^coupon, ^^but ^^still...
Anyhow, why do cultists always get people when ... | |
[WP] "Well, shit." You think to yourself, standing in line to be initiated into the cult. | How the hell did I wind up here? Okay, John, think! Think! Where were you last night? I was out with some friends. Good, that's a start. Which friends? There was Greg, that slimy bastard; Rick, he's alright, I guess; Laura, she's so hot. Okay good. Where did you go? I'm not entirely sure. Okay, fine. Why were you out l... | "Well, shit. How did I end up here again?" ...Oh yeah, I was drunk and this group of men came up to me and said they have a 'surprise'. Bullshit, all they gave me were a bunch of pamphlets and a coupon for McDonald's. ^^I'll ^^still ^^use ^^the ^^coupon, ^^but ^^still...
Anyhow, why do cultists always get people when ... | |
[WP] "Well, shit." You think to yourself, standing in line to be initiated into the cult. | Chuck glanced down at the watch on his wrist, his left foot tapping steadily on the pearl tiled floor. He realized his visit to the DMV wouldn’t exactly be a quick stop-off, but rather an elongated, slow, and otherwise unpleasant ordeal. Still, he didn’t think it would be quite this bad. For starters, he had no idea th... | "Well, shit. How did I end up here again?" ...Oh yeah, I was drunk and this group of men came up to me and said they have a 'surprise'. Bullshit, all they gave me were a bunch of pamphlets and a coupon for McDonald's. ^^I'll ^^still ^^use ^^the ^^coupon, ^^but ^^still...
Anyhow, why do cultists always get people when ... | |
[WP] "Well, shit." You think to yourself, standing in line to be initiated into the cult. | Well shit...
You know that saying, "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything"? Well it turns out, being an asocial, asexual, apolitical, apathetic asshole has made me too trusting. Fuck you, Todd. You are not my best friend anymore.
If you ever really were. Maybe that was just another lie to get me ... | "Well, shit. How did I end up here again?" ...Oh yeah, I was drunk and this group of men came up to me and said they have a 'surprise'. Bullshit, all they gave me were a bunch of pamphlets and a coupon for McDonald's. ^^I'll ^^still ^^use ^^the ^^coupon, ^^but ^^still...
Anyhow, why do cultists always get people when ... | |
[WP] "Well, shit." You think to yourself, standing in line to be initiated into the cult. | Only five minutes had passed when Alice began wishing that she had been born the opposite gender. Since she had joined the end of the line, it had only moved forward once, giving her the impression that the bathroom had no more than three stalls. The sheer number of people was to be expected; the hall was always book... | "Well, shit. How did I end up here again?" ...Oh yeah, I was drunk and this group of men came up to me and said they have a 'surprise'. Bullshit, all they gave me were a bunch of pamphlets and a coupon for McDonald's. ^^I'll ^^still ^^use ^^the ^^coupon, ^^but ^^still...
Anyhow, why do cultists always get people when ... | |
[WP] "Well, shit." You think to yourself, standing in line to be initiated into the cult. | Oh shit.
I've always been painfully shy. That's my problem, you see, and I was only trying to fix it. Ending up in a dark basement with a sack over my head was just another mistake in a long line of things that had happened to me because I was too shy to say "No thanks." I don't know if it's politeness, or stupidity,... | Rows of robes
donning auburn cowls
making their way up the pews
with priestly scowls
a hand reaches to my shoulder
his hands are cold, his face is colder
with worried frown
his stomach growls
through the troubled hymn
he lets me know his chagrin
the blood wafers just won't settle
and the corpse wine tastes o... | |
[WP] "Well, shit." You think to yourself, standing in line to be initiated into the cult. | well, shiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeettttttttt...
That's what I thought, staring through the stained glass.
This is what I sought, so I must train fast.
Thinking back to the when it rained last,
it's been all sunshine, proving there's a time limit of how long the pain lasts.
We took the kids by the camp fire, roasting mars... | Rows of robes
donning auburn cowls
making their way up the pews
with priestly scowls
a hand reaches to my shoulder
his hands are cold, his face is colder
with worried frown
his stomach growls
through the troubled hymn
he lets me know his chagrin
the blood wafers just won't settle
and the corpse wine tastes o... | |
[WP] "Well, shit." You think to yourself, standing in line to be initiated into the cult. | How the hell did I wind up here? Okay, John, think! Think! Where were you last night? I was out with some friends. Good, that's a start. Which friends? There was Greg, that slimy bastard; Rick, he's alright, I guess; Laura, she's so hot. Okay good. Where did you go? I'm not entirely sure. Okay, fine. Why were you out l... | Rows of robes
donning auburn cowls
making their way up the pews
with priestly scowls
a hand reaches to my shoulder
his hands are cold, his face is colder
with worried frown
his stomach growls
through the troubled hymn
he lets me know his chagrin
the blood wafers just won't settle
and the corpse wine tastes o... | |
[WP] "Well, shit." You think to yourself, standing in line to be initiated into the cult. | Chuck glanced down at the watch on his wrist, his left foot tapping steadily on the pearl tiled floor. He realized his visit to the DMV wouldn’t exactly be a quick stop-off, but rather an elongated, slow, and otherwise unpleasant ordeal. Still, he didn’t think it would be quite this bad. For starters, he had no idea th... | Rows of robes
donning auburn cowls
making their way up the pews
with priestly scowls
a hand reaches to my shoulder
his hands are cold, his face is colder
with worried frown
his stomach growls
through the troubled hymn
he lets me know his chagrin
the blood wafers just won't settle
and the corpse wine tastes o... | |
[WP] "Well, shit." You think to yourself, standing in line to be initiated into the cult. | Only five minutes had passed when Alice began wishing that she had been born the opposite gender. Since she had joined the end of the line, it had only moved forward once, giving her the impression that the bathroom had no more than three stalls. The sheer number of people was to be expected; the hall was always book... | Rows of robes
donning auburn cowls
making their way up the pews
with priestly scowls
a hand reaches to my shoulder
his hands are cold, his face is colder
with worried frown
his stomach growls
through the troubled hymn
he lets me know his chagrin
the blood wafers just won't settle
and the corpse wine tastes o... | |
[WP] "Well, shit." You think to yourself, standing in line to be initiated into the cult. | Chuck glanced down at the watch on his wrist, his left foot tapping steadily on the pearl tiled floor. He realized his visit to the DMV wouldn’t exactly be a quick stop-off, but rather an elongated, slow, and otherwise unpleasant ordeal. Still, he didn’t think it would be quite this bad. For starters, he had no idea th... | How the hell did I wind up here? Okay, John, think! Think! Where were you last night? I was out with some friends. Good, that's a start. Which friends? There was Greg, that slimy bastard; Rick, he's alright, I guess; Laura, she's so hot. Okay good. Where did you go? I'm not entirely sure. Okay, fine. Why were you out l... | |
[WP] "Well, shit." You think to yourself, standing in line to be initiated into the cult. | Only five minutes had passed when Alice began wishing that she had been born the opposite gender. Since she had joined the end of the line, it had only moved forward once, giving her the impression that the bathroom had no more than three stalls. The sheer number of people was to be expected; the hall was always book... | Well shit...
You know that saying, "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything"? Well it turns out, being an asocial, asexual, apolitical, apathetic asshole has made me too trusting. Fuck you, Todd. You are not my best friend anymore.
If you ever really were. Maybe that was just another lie to get me ... | |
[WP] A proud, intelligent alien race has landed on Earth in peace. There's only one problem: humans find everything about them hilarious. Describe first contact. | The fantastic gleaming structure languidly hovered over the huddled masses of times square.
None had imagined that this ordinary day, would be the day of first contact.
Hundreds fell to the ground in paroxysms of spiritual awakening. How could such unimaginable beauty exist? The structure, lazily and confidently shi... | A large space ship loomed not far overhead. It blotted out the sky for most of downtown, casting a darkness over the city. Some people panicked, others were frozen with fear. When a loud siren emitted from the ship, everyone erupted in a pandemonium. They knew, they knew it was over. The world they knew would end.... | |
[WP] A proud, intelligent alien race has landed on Earth in peace. There's only one problem: humans find everything about them hilarious. Describe first contact. | "Look, we need someone who has no sense of humor to take over as Ambassador."
The President sat silently in his chair, with his fingers interlocked over his mouth. He slowly unclasped his hands and said, "How... How bad is it? How funny are they?"
"Well sir, uhm, take a look at this youtube video..."
The President... | "They foretold their coming", he said.
Unsure of what he meant, I tilted my head quizzically.
"Who is they?", I barked with a sense of desperation.
He let me know he heard me with a nod, but stared silently at the TV. I saw what I saw, but I couldn't believe it. It seemed like one dumb joke. But there it was in m... | |
[WP] A proud, intelligent alien race has landed on Earth in peace. There's only one problem: humans find everything about them hilarious. Describe first contact. | "They're cat girls, Mr President," said the Secret Service Agent.
"Cat girls?" asked the President.
"Yes sir, cat girls," said the agent, "In maid outfits."
The president had to take that in for a moment. The stood by his desk in the oval office overlooking the lawn. A small alien shuttle craft they had been wait... | "They foretold their coming", he said.
Unsure of what he meant, I tilted my head quizzically.
"Who is they?", I barked with a sense of desperation.
He let me know he heard me with a nod, but stared silently at the TV. I saw what I saw, but I couldn't believe it. It seemed like one dumb joke. But there it was in m... | |
[WP] A proud, intelligent alien race has landed on Earth in peace. There's only one problem: humans find everything about them hilarious. Describe first contact. | "They're cat girls, Mr President," said the Secret Service Agent.
"Cat girls?" asked the President.
"Yes sir, cat girls," said the agent, "In maid outfits."
The president had to take that in for a moment. The stood by his desk in the oval office overlooking the lawn. A small alien shuttle craft they had been wait... | "Look, we need someone who has no sense of humor to take over as Ambassador."
The President sat silently in his chair, with his fingers interlocked over his mouth. He slowly unclasped his hands and said, "How... How bad is it? How funny are they?"
"Well sir, uhm, take a look at this youtube video..."
The President... | |
[WP] An assassin describing their weapon of choice in vivid detail. | Of course I didn't always do things this way huh huh huh. Started out more traditional like. Smith and Wesson, a Glock, shotgun sometimes - if it needed it. And *of course* knives. You have to know the basics in this job, eh.
But you grow, dun't ya. You *learn*. That's the joy of this job, i tell ya. Twenty, thirty ye... | Fluid and smooth, graceful and sleek. Sharper than time, it cuts the light in half. I can see it bleed down the side, glimmering as I turn it side to side.
Hooked at the tip, it makes cutting more difficult, but more damaging. The sharp edge flows out like a wave, creating some weight near the end. It feels like the ... | |
[WP] An assassin describing their weapon of choice in vivid detail. | She's smiling under the pale moonlight. Twinkling.
There's an inscription in Chinese characters, painstakingly carved into the ebony hilt. It roughly translates to "Reap what you sow." How fitting.
I've had her in my possession ever since I was a child. It was given to me by my mentor before he succumbed to the dark ... | Fluid and smooth, graceful and sleek. Sharper than time, it cuts the light in half. I can see it bleed down the side, glimmering as I turn it side to side.
Hooked at the tip, it makes cutting more difficult, but more damaging. The sharp edge flows out like a wave, creating some weight near the end. It feels like the ... | |
[WP] It's 1916. You're a French soldier fighting in the battle of Verdun. One night, you're confronted by a single unarmed German soldier. He says something to you that chills you to the bone. | **[Taking some liberties with the prompt here by changing it to WWII but the main concept will remain the same]**
Four men sit in a dark room staring through the glass of a one-way mirror at a what used to be a man, but is now only a paranoid cowardly wretch. The only light comes through that glass and if it wasn't fo... | I saw him in the corner of my eye, he suddenly moved from his position and stood bolt upright in the middle of the next trench. It was Sebastian, or Doofus, as he was called in the unit. Doofus lowered his gun to the floor, and with crinkled, intense eyes looked round at the other soldiers next to him. He said with a s... | |
[WP] It's 1916. You're a French soldier fighting in the battle of Verdun. One night, you're confronted by a single unarmed German soldier. He says something to you that chills you to the bone. | **author's note : First time commenting. Taking some liberties. Don't know a lot of WWI weaponry**
*Damn Rain won't stop.* I look to my side. Auguste, just a boy of 17, sat there, eyes focused on the horizon. still red from a night of tear filled misery. His brother, just a kid himself, tried to desert the mission -- ... | I saw him in the corner of my eye, he suddenly moved from his position and stood bolt upright in the middle of the next trench. It was Sebastian, or Doofus, as he was called in the unit. Doofus lowered his gun to the floor, and with crinkled, intense eyes looked round at the other soldiers next to him. He said with a s... | |
[WP] It's 1916. You're a French soldier fighting in the battle of Verdun. One night, you're confronted by a single unarmed German soldier. He says something to you that chills you to the bone. | **author's note : First time commenting. Taking some liberties. Don't know a lot of WWI weaponry**
*Damn Rain won't stop.* I look to my side. Auguste, just a boy of 17, sat there, eyes focused on the horizon. still red from a night of tear filled misery. His brother, just a kid himself, tried to desert the mission -- ... | **[Taking some liberties with the prompt here by changing it to WWII but the main concept will remain the same]**
Four men sit in a dark room staring through the glass of a one-way mirror at a what used to be a man, but is now only a paranoid cowardly wretch. The only light comes through that glass and if it wasn't fo... | |
[WP] Years ago, first contact from the alien race was a message. Even from recordings, every person hears the message differently based on their native language and background. Today you hear the message for the first time. | "Miss Samantha Stevenson, you can go in now." The receptionist said. I put down the magazine I hadn't been reading and started walking to the door. I'm glad I wore heels, as focusing on not tripping kept me distracted from what awaited in the doors ahead of me. Gabriella had told me there was no point getting dressed u... | “We’re coming”
It’s been 3 years since that message
It was the middle august, sitting in the radiant summer heat that never seemed to dissipate even as the sun disappeared over the horizon, sweat sleeked out of ever pour even as I lay on the soft grass and stared blankly at the sky above. “We’re Coming” my phone rang... | |
[WP] Years ago, first contact from the alien race was a message. Even from recordings, every person hears the message differently based on their native language and background. Today you hear the message for the first time. | Everyone had heard it, nodded their heads, and gone about their business. A message of acceptance and tranquility, "we come in peace" sort of stuff, but without the "we come" part. Just a message saying that they existed, and knew we existed, and that we should all get along together. But not me.
I was in a coma tha... | “We’re coming”
It’s been 3 years since that message
It was the middle august, sitting in the radiant summer heat that never seemed to dissipate even as the sun disappeared over the horizon, sweat sleeked out of ever pour even as I lay on the soft grass and stared blankly at the sky above. “We’re Coming” my phone rang... | |
edit: All of you are _awesome_. That is all. | [WP] In the realm where souls reside before we're born, everything is pretty great. There's no poverty, no one wants for anything, everyone knows their role and purpose. It is, essentially, perfect. But that perfection is accomplished via draconian law: the only punishment is the "birth penalty" | I hung my head low. To live in such a paradise, in a oasis, a place where everyone is equal, where we need nothing, want nothing, own nothing....I had stolen. Well, that's what I had been told I had done. I had simply been a little peckish was all, and it was nowhere near supper. So I simply took food from the mess hal... | You smile when you remember it.
Smiles are so strange, this face is so strange.
You've grown accustomed to all of this movement, though it took time.
It used to be so simple. You could just be warm, happy, content.
That simple state, being, is all you remember from what feels like a distant dream.
Dreaming.
That'... |
edit: All of you are _awesome_. That is all. | [WP] In the realm where souls reside before we're born, everything is pretty great. There's no poverty, no one wants for anything, everyone knows their role and purpose. It is, essentially, perfect. But that perfection is accomplished via draconian law: the only punishment is the "birth penalty" | They send him to the rehabilitation center first. He comes home and our parents ask him what he learned. He talks about our history, about how the elders operate under the great law and I can feel my parents' relief radiate through the kitchen. My father clasps one hand on my brother's shoulder. "Good boy," he says. "G... | You smile when you remember it.
Smiles are so strange, this face is so strange.
You've grown accustomed to all of this movement, though it took time.
It used to be so simple. You could just be warm, happy, content.
That simple state, being, is all you remember from what feels like a distant dream.
Dreaming.
That'... |
edit: All of you are _awesome_. That is all. | [WP] In the realm where souls reside before we're born, everything is pretty great. There's no poverty, no one wants for anything, everyone knows their role and purpose. It is, essentially, perfect. But that perfection is accomplished via draconian law: the only punishment is the "birth penalty" | The loud sea of air rushing past my body. Adrenaline coursing through my veins, an overwhelming sense of joy and excitement. Vague sensations slowly distancing themselves from my reality.
Was that my death?
I think it was skydiving this time.
As the memories gained a sense of unreality, I slowly became more aware ... | You smile when you remember it.
Smiles are so strange, this face is so strange.
You've grown accustomed to all of this movement, though it took time.
It used to be so simple. You could just be warm, happy, content.
That simple state, being, is all you remember from what feels like a distant dream.
Dreaming.
That'... |
edit: All of you are _awesome_. That is all. | [WP] In the realm where souls reside before we're born, everything is pretty great. There's no poverty, no one wants for anything, everyone knows their role and purpose. It is, essentially, perfect. But that perfection is accomplished via draconian law: the only punishment is the "birth penalty" | They send him to the rehabilitation center first. He comes home and our parents ask him what he learned. He talks about our history, about how the elders operate under the great law and I can feel my parents' relief radiate through the kitchen. My father clasps one hand on my brother's shoulder. "Good boy," he says. "G... | I hung my head low. To live in such a paradise, in a oasis, a place where everyone is equal, where we need nothing, want nothing, own nothing....I had stolen. Well, that's what I had been told I had done. I had simply been a little peckish was all, and it was nowhere near supper. So I simply took food from the mess hal... |
edit: All of you are _awesome_. That is all. | [WP] In the realm where souls reside before we're born, everything is pretty great. There's no poverty, no one wants for anything, everyone knows their role and purpose. It is, essentially, perfect. But that perfection is accomplished via draconian law: the only punishment is the "birth penalty" | The loud sea of air rushing past my body. Adrenaline coursing through my veins, an overwhelming sense of joy and excitement. Vague sensations slowly distancing themselves from my reality.
Was that my death?
I think it was skydiving this time.
As the memories gained a sense of unreality, I slowly became more aware ... | I hung my head low. To live in such a paradise, in a oasis, a place where everyone is equal, where we need nothing, want nothing, own nothing....I had stolen. Well, that's what I had been told I had done. I had simply been a little peckish was all, and it was nowhere near supper. So I simply took food from the mess hal... |
edit: All of you are _awesome_. That is all. | [WP] In the realm where souls reside before we're born, everything is pretty great. There's no poverty, no one wants for anything, everyone knows their role and purpose. It is, essentially, perfect. But that perfection is accomplished via draconian law: the only punishment is the "birth penalty" | "What possessed you?" The words rung through my being, pushing out all other thoughts. "What need did you have?" Everyone had gathered, a mixture of fear and anger radiated through the crowd.
"Need?" The idea felt foreign to me, "What is need?"
"What was required?" His anger grew with my confusion, "What called you t... | In Elysium, life ends with birth.
Sure, it seems like a utopia. Maybe it even was at one point. It must have been for things to get like this. But now, it’s as far as it could be.
I’m on the run. If they find me – and they will, they always do – I will be here no more. My soul will be ripped from my body and transpor... |
[WP]A man is contemplating suicide. Death visits him not to take his soul, but to convince him life is worth living. | Lawrence had always been afraid of heights. However, in this moment, standing atop the building where he has devoted the last 15 years of work to, he was not scared. He was excited. For what lay at the bottom of this five hundred foot steel prison, was something he yearned for...salvation. As Lawrence approached th... | His bones creaked as he slowly sat back into his throne with an expression more hollow than normal. His Life-Claims list fell from smooth fingers onto the floor as his memory twitched into being. A name formed in the nothingness of his black mind until it cleared like a light at the end of a tunnel; genesis, his earlie... | |
[WP]A man is contemplating suicide. Death visits him not to take his soul, but to convince him life is worth living. | Being Death isn't all it's cracked up to be. Sure, you're the immortal being who comes for the mortals as their time on this miserable blue orb but after about 1 Billion rounds you begin to get tired of it. It's a lonely life.
Enter David Joe Stevenson. Age 42. A banker in Canada who is facing intense pressure from hi... | His bones creaked as he slowly sat back into his throne with an expression more hollow than normal. His Life-Claims list fell from smooth fingers onto the floor as his memory twitched into being. A name formed in the nothingness of his black mind until it cleared like a light at the end of a tunnel; genesis, his earlie... | |
[WP]A man is contemplating suicide. Death visits him not to take his soul, but to convince him life is worth living. | The Council had offered Death five names in their latest report.
Five names which belonged to individuals who had the potential to help solve the problems currently putting the future of the After Life at risk.
Death, robe less and alone in her office, read over each name and description, trying to weigh up the dec... | His bones creaked as he slowly sat back into his throne with an expression more hollow than normal. His Life-Claims list fell from smooth fingers onto the floor as his memory twitched into being. A name formed in the nothingness of his black mind until it cleared like a light at the end of a tunnel; genesis, his earlie... | |
[WP]A man is contemplating suicide. Death visits him not to take his soul, but to convince him life is worth living. | The the taste of the gun was almost sweet.
Jerry put his finger on the trigger, willing himself to add just a little more pressure. Just a little more, that's all he needed. A little more and all the problems in the world would go away.
"It won't work," said a voice behind him.
Jerry took the pistol from his mouth... | His bones creaked as he slowly sat back into his throne with an expression more hollow than normal. His Life-Claims list fell from smooth fingers onto the floor as his memory twitched into being. A name formed in the nothingness of his black mind until it cleared like a light at the end of a tunnel; genesis, his earlie... | |
[WP]A man is contemplating suicide. Death visits him not to take his soul, but to convince him life is worth living. | Lawrence had always been afraid of heights. However, in this moment, standing atop the building where he has devoted the last 15 years of work to, he was not scared. He was excited. For what lay at the bottom of this five hundred foot steel prison, was something he yearned for...salvation. As Lawrence approached th... | "It'll hurt you know."
Steve gasped, and whipped around to see who'd broken the somber silence. The gun he'd been nursing clattered to the floor loudly. A single, uncovered bulb illuminated the dark basement, enough that Steve could just barely make out the strangers outline.
"W-who's there? And how'd you get in here... | |
[WP]A man is contemplating suicide. Death visits him not to take his soul, but to convince him life is worth living. | Lawrence had always been afraid of heights. However, in this moment, standing atop the building where he has devoted the last 15 years of work to, he was not scared. He was excited. For what lay at the bottom of this five hundred foot steel prison, was something he yearned for...salvation. As Lawrence approached th... | He sat on the ledge outside of his window, legs dangling in the wind and for the first time in years he felt happy with the decision he was about to make. Hearing footsteps approaching from behind he turned his head around only to see Death himself walking towards him.
 
“Did you come to scrape my soul off ... | |
[WP]A man is contemplating suicide. Death visits him not to take his soul, but to convince him life is worth living. | Lawrence had always been afraid of heights. However, in this moment, standing atop the building where he has devoted the last 15 years of work to, he was not scared. He was excited. For what lay at the bottom of this five hundred foot steel prison, was something he yearned for...salvation. As Lawrence approached th... | (--Warning, warning, rookie at work! Beware messy grammar!--)
"Now's a really bad time for that, you know."
Patrick pulled the gun out of his mouth, staring at the figure that had spoken. It was pretty blatant just what the figure was--skeletal, scythe, black robes. It's just.. people assume Death's form was human... | |
[WP]A man is contemplating suicide. Death visits him not to take his soul, but to convince him life is worth living. | Lawrence had always been afraid of heights. However, in this moment, standing atop the building where he has devoted the last 15 years of work to, he was not scared. He was excited. For what lay at the bottom of this five hundred foot steel prison, was something he yearned for...salvation. As Lawrence approached th... | I WOULD ASK YOU NOT TO DO THAT
Startled, Ted Smith turned to see a hooded figure sitting a few feet to his left with his legs stiffly placed over the edge. The figure seemed to be staring out towards the city below them both, and he was utterly motionless.
"I... I have to. I can't go on in this place... this world. I... | |
[WP]A man is contemplating suicide. Death visits him not to take his soul, but to convince him life is worth living. | The Council had offered Death five names in their latest report.
Five names which belonged to individuals who had the potential to help solve the problems currently putting the future of the After Life at risk.
Death, robe less and alone in her office, read over each name and description, trying to weigh up the dec... | It was a time of change, the world was on the precipice of revolution. Everyone could feel the chaos just waiting to tear apart the world. One man in prison felt none of these things, he could barely concentrate on anything other than his thoughts of suicide.
He was already planning on hanging himself within the next ... | |
[WP]A man is contemplating suicide. Death visits him not to take his soul, but to convince him life is worth living. | Eduardo Rojas stood on the ledge of the tallest building his small town in Mexico. Below, six floors down, there were no people on the street; the cartels had made sure that just standing out in the open was a possible death sentence.
From his vantage point, Eduardo could see the other effects of drug dealers on his ... | It was a time of change, the world was on the precipice of revolution. Everyone could feel the chaos just waiting to tear apart the world. One man in prison felt none of these things, he could barely concentrate on anything other than his thoughts of suicide.
He was already planning on hanging himself within the next ... | |
[WP]A man is contemplating suicide. Death visits him not to take his soul, but to convince him life is worth living. | The the taste of the gun was almost sweet.
Jerry put his finger on the trigger, willing himself to add just a little more pressure. Just a little more, that's all he needed. A little more and all the problems in the world would go away.
"It won't work," said a voice behind him.
Jerry took the pistol from his mouth... | It was a time of change, the world was on the precipice of revolution. Everyone could feel the chaos just waiting to tear apart the world. One man in prison felt none of these things, he could barely concentrate on anything other than his thoughts of suicide.
He was already planning on hanging himself within the next ... | |
[WP]A man is contemplating suicide. Death visits him not to take his soul, but to convince him life is worth living. | The Council had offered Death five names in their latest report.
Five names which belonged to individuals who had the potential to help solve the problems currently putting the future of the After Life at risk.
Death, robe less and alone in her office, read over each name and description, trying to weigh up the dec... | Being Death isn't all it's cracked up to be. Sure, you're the immortal being who comes for the mortals as their time on this miserable blue orb but after about 1 Billion rounds you begin to get tired of it. It's a lonely life.
Enter David Joe Stevenson. Age 42. A banker in Canada who is facing intense pressure from hi... | |
[WP]A man is contemplating suicide. Death visits him not to take his soul, but to convince him life is worth living. | The the taste of the gun was almost sweet.
Jerry put his finger on the trigger, willing himself to add just a little more pressure. Just a little more, that's all he needed. A little more and all the problems in the world would go away.
"It won't work," said a voice behind him.
Jerry took the pistol from his mouth... | Being Death isn't all it's cracked up to be. Sure, you're the immortal being who comes for the mortals as their time on this miserable blue orb but after about 1 Billion rounds you begin to get tired of it. It's a lonely life.
Enter David Joe Stevenson. Age 42. A banker in Canada who is facing intense pressure from hi... | |
[WP]A man is contemplating suicide. Death visits him not to take his soul, but to convince him life is worth living. | The the taste of the gun was almost sweet.
Jerry put his finger on the trigger, willing himself to add just a little more pressure. Just a little more, that's all he needed. A little more and all the problems in the world would go away.
"It won't work," said a voice behind him.
Jerry took the pistol from his mouth... | Eduardo Rojas stood on the ledge of the tallest building his small town in Mexico. Below, six floors down, there were no people on the street; the cartels had made sure that just standing out in the open was a possible death sentence.
From his vantage point, Eduardo could see the other effects of drug dealers on his ... | |
[WP] Modern day Soldiers are on the front-lines of first contact for an alien invasion of Earth. Many soldiers don't know what they are facing. When, through the fog of war, a battalion of Storm-troopers appear. | The reporter felt sick. *Blasted guy!*
He was supposed to be filming an article about some safe, totally uninteresting subject, when hiss boss came in and, of the 42 people working on his floor, picked *him* to get his ass off the Ikea chair and off to the battlefield.
*Blasted guy!*
The Humvee was hot, the suppl... | The battle was swift. Unable to hit any of our soldiers, they were quickly wiped out, and their ship captured. | |
[WP] A large force finally attacks the U.S., but they make one major mistake, they begin in the South, who just ain't gonna be puttin up with none a' this. | There is an oft-repeated line, originally attributed to Isoroku Yamamoto, commander-in-chief of the Combined Fleet during WWII. “You cannot invade mainland United States. There would be a rifle behind every blade of grass.” The veracity of this quote and its attribution have long been debated amongst historians the wor... | A huge laser beam swept through the streets of a small town in Texas. Tucker ducked out of it's way and ran towards his truck.
"No you ain't gonna steal my moose you alien prick!" he yelled, reaching for a shotgun. But before he had time to pull a trigger, a giant UFO was already going down, crushing into ground. "Y... | |
[WP] A large force finally attacks the U.S., but they make one major mistake, they begin in the South, who just ain't gonna be puttin up with none a' this. | Started wit' cows, a-hollarin'. Maybe three, four in morn? Caused a ruckus so I kick'd the Boy up, told him to git and find out what was disturbin' them. Steers ain't the brightest, so's liable to start away from their own shadow, if'n they seen it.
Course, weren't no shadow that scared'm this time. Boy's feet had ha... | A huge laser beam swept through the streets of a small town in Texas. Tucker ducked out of it's way and ran towards his truck.
"No you ain't gonna steal my moose you alien prick!" he yelled, reaching for a shotgun. But before he had time to pull a trigger, a giant UFO was already going down, crushing into ground. "Y... | |
[WP] You have won the planet Earth in the 265th annual Inter-Galactic lottery. You have studied Earth's customs for the last 5 years, and today you must address the Earthen leaders and explain why you now own their planet. | "I understand your concern, sir," I choked out, holding back laughter.
The president of the peace organization was crimson with anger and confusion.
"You and your members still own things, but I kind of own Earth... technically," I said, emphasizing the last word as innocently as I could.
"You can't own it, and i... | The gray Honda Civic weaved in and out of traffic and came screeching to a halt in front of the United Nations Building in New York City. I hopped out of the car and raced up the steps to the front door of the building, tightly clutching a piece of paper in my left hand. I was dressed in a black suit and had on a very ... | |
[WP] A multitude of Alien ships warp within range of Earth. Over all electronic devices the message is heard, "Earth, we come in peace. In all the universe only one other Species has mastered Death and Destruction as you have. We need your help." | His jaw dropped. A smile crept over his face as he whispered to himself, "finally" as if he had manifested this day for himself. Clarity caught him and he ran outside to look into the sky, laughing and shouting, "Finally!". Ryer had hoped this day would occur in his lifetime since childhood. And he saw nothing.
Pani... | "Welp, we're screwed" Was essentially the reaction of every country. All except a large landmass known as "America". Unfortunately, we are required to stamp out any country that refuses. "After refusing to comply, we have forcefully taken control of the entire Untied States Military" I said, unsure of the outcome. "Goo... | |
[WP] A multitude of Alien ships warp within range of Earth. Over all electronic devices the message is heard, "Earth, we come in peace. In all the universe only one other Species has mastered Death and Destruction as you have. We need your help." | Ambassador Pardok wondered for the millionth time what he had done to deserve being posted on Earth. It was a shattered shell of what it once had been. Once humans had been a promising species for entrance into the Confederacy. Their largest flaw had been their violent tendencies, but they had, for a time, appeared ... | "Welp, we're screwed" Was essentially the reaction of every country. All except a large landmass known as "America". Unfortunately, we are required to stamp out any country that refuses. "After refusing to comply, we have forcefully taken control of the entire Untied States Military" I said, unsure of the outcome. "Goo... | |
[WP] A multitude of Alien ships warp within range of Earth. Over all electronic devices the message is heard, "Earth, we come in peace. In all the universe only one other Species has mastered Death and Destruction as you have. We need your help." | The representatives stood in their chamber. The were discussing the vessel from the outer rim, *their territory*, approaching the center while transmitting peace and trade signals given to *them* during first contact. And when the communication ministry said signals, they meant copies of every single non-violent signal... | "Welp, we're screwed" Was essentially the reaction of every country. All except a large landmass known as "America". Unfortunately, we are required to stamp out any country that refuses. "After refusing to comply, we have forcefully taken control of the entire Untied States Military" I said, unsure of the outcome. "Goo... | |
[WP] A multitude of Alien ships warp within range of Earth. Over all electronic devices the message is heard, "Earth, we come in peace. In all the universe only one other Species has mastered Death and Destruction as you have. We need your help." | Meanwhile in a Secret Room with 8 mysterious men seated around a table:
Man 1: Gentlemen, It seems we have extraterrestrial life forms in our midst.
Man 2: Well well, I smell an opportunity. While we have profited from selling weapons to the US military, ISIS, the Saudis and other groups we can give the aliens our "... | "Welp, we're screwed" Was essentially the reaction of every country. All except a large landmass known as "America". Unfortunately, we are required to stamp out any country that refuses. "After refusing to comply, we have forcefully taken control of the entire Untied States Military" I said, unsure of the outcome. "Goo... | |
[WP] A multitude of Alien ships warp within range of Earth. Over all electronic devices the message is heard, "Earth, we come in peace. In all the universe only one other Species has mastered Death and Destruction as you have. We need your help." | In 2056 NASA intercepted a frequency that was not of Earth. With its point of origin unknown they began to study it in an attempt to discover from whence it came. As it was studied it became known as the whoa signal, mockingly after the famous "wow!" signal of 1977 which was deemed the echo of a supernova, for unlike ... | "Welp, we're screwed" Was essentially the reaction of every country. All except a large landmass known as "America". Unfortunately, we are required to stamp out any country that refuses. "After refusing to comply, we have forcefully taken control of the entire Untied States Military" I said, unsure of the outcome. "Goo... | |
[WP] A multitude of Alien ships warp within range of Earth. Over all electronic devices the message is heard, "Earth, we come in peace. In all the universe only one other Species has mastered Death and Destruction as you have. We need your help." | They were beautiful, really.
Evolving on a world completely covered by ocean , they were aquatic rather than terrestrial. Soft, translucent skin revealed a brain 10 times larger than what the human skull could accommodate. Feathered tentacles spread out like wings, feelers detecting the temperature and air composition... | "Welp, we're screwed" Was essentially the reaction of every country. All except a large landmass known as "America". Unfortunately, we are required to stamp out any country that refuses. "After refusing to comply, we have forcefully taken control of the entire Untied States Military" I said, unsure of the outcome. "Goo... | |
[WP] A multitude of Alien ships warp within range of Earth. Over all electronic devices the message is heard, "Earth, we come in peace. In all the universe only one other Species has mastered Death and Destruction as you have. We need your help." | 1000 Years Later
Sai Benedict was tired, scared, and alone; his lab assistants hadn't turned up to work, which could mean only one thing - the Earth Military Council had rounded them all up. That meant it would only be a matter of time until the intensive interrogations revealed the location of his lab; even with the ... | "Welp, we're screwed" Was essentially the reaction of every country. All except a large landmass known as "America". Unfortunately, we are required to stamp out any country that refuses. "After refusing to comply, we have forcefully taken control of the entire Untied States Military" I said, unsure of the outcome. "Goo... | |
[WP] A multitude of Alien ships warp within range of Earth. Over all electronic devices the message is heard, "Earth, we come in peace. In all the universe only one other Species has mastered Death and Destruction as you have. We need your help." | "You mean... we're actually more advanced than you? How is that possible? You came all the way here from... where, again?" President Clarke asked.
"Ah, ha ha. No, not more *advanced*, per se," Admiral OJ Simpson responded with an uncomfortable chuckle and shifted in his seat. "Just better at... what was that phrase, a... | "Welp, we're screwed" Was essentially the reaction of every country. All except a large landmass known as "America". Unfortunately, we are required to stamp out any country that refuses. "After refusing to comply, we have forcefully taken control of the entire Untied States Military" I said, unsure of the outcome. "Goo... | |
[WP] A multitude of Alien ships warp within range of Earth. Over all electronic devices the message is heard, "Earth, we come in peace. In all the universe only one other Species has mastered Death and Destruction as you have. We need your help." | The Council slowly came to order. 3 species from different worlds, all of them peaceful and advanced, with a 500 year history of being the closest of allies.
And yet, this discussion might just break them apart.
Council Member Grak, tall and slender beneath the iridescent scales of his race, stood from among his de... | "Welp, we're screwed" Was essentially the reaction of every country. All except a large landmass known as "America". Unfortunately, we are required to stamp out any country that refuses. "After refusing to comply, we have forcefully taken control of the entire Untied States Military" I said, unsure of the outcome. "Goo... | |
[WP] A multitude of Alien ships warp within range of Earth. Over all electronic devices the message is heard, "Earth, we come in peace. In all the universe only one other Species has mastered Death and Destruction as you have. We need your help." | The representatives stood in their chamber. The were discussing the vessel from the outer rim, *their territory*, approaching the center while transmitting peace and trade signals given to *them* during first contact. And when the communication ministry said signals, they meant copies of every single non-violent signal... | His jaw dropped. A smile crept over his face as he whispered to himself, "finally" as if he had manifested this day for himself. Clarity caught him and he ran outside to look into the sky, laughing and shouting, "Finally!". Ryer had hoped this day would occur in his lifetime since childhood. And he saw nothing.
Pani... | |
[WP] A multitude of Alien ships warp within range of Earth. Over all electronic devices the message is heard, "Earth, we come in peace. In all the universe only one other Species has mastered Death and Destruction as you have. We need your help." | In 2056 NASA intercepted a frequency that was not of Earth. With its point of origin unknown they began to study it in an attempt to discover from whence it came. As it was studied it became known as the whoa signal, mockingly after the famous "wow!" signal of 1977 which was deemed the echo of a supernova, for unlike ... | His jaw dropped. A smile crept over his face as he whispered to himself, "finally" as if he had manifested this day for himself. Clarity caught him and he ran outside to look into the sky, laughing and shouting, "Finally!". Ryer had hoped this day would occur in his lifetime since childhood. And he saw nothing.
Pani... | |
[WP] A multitude of Alien ships warp within range of Earth. Over all electronic devices the message is heard, "Earth, we come in peace. In all the universe only one other Species has mastered Death and Destruction as you have. We need your help." | They were beautiful, really.
Evolving on a world completely covered by ocean , they were aquatic rather than terrestrial. Soft, translucent skin revealed a brain 10 times larger than what the human skull could accommodate. Feathered tentacles spread out like wings, feelers detecting the temperature and air composition... | His jaw dropped. A smile crept over his face as he whispered to himself, "finally" as if he had manifested this day for himself. Clarity caught him and he ran outside to look into the sky, laughing and shouting, "Finally!". Ryer had hoped this day would occur in his lifetime since childhood. And he saw nothing.
Pani... | |
[WP] A multitude of Alien ships warp within range of Earth. Over all electronic devices the message is heard, "Earth, we come in peace. In all the universe only one other Species has mastered Death and Destruction as you have. We need your help." | In 2056 NASA intercepted a frequency that was not of Earth. With its point of origin unknown they began to study it in an attempt to discover from whence it came. As it was studied it became known as the whoa signal, mockingly after the famous "wow!" signal of 1977 which was deemed the echo of a supernova, for unlike ... | Ambassador Pardok wondered for the millionth time what he had done to deserve being posted on Earth. It was a shattered shell of what it once had been. Once humans had been a promising species for entrance into the Confederacy. Their largest flaw had been their violent tendencies, but they had, for a time, appeared ... | |
[WP] A multitude of Alien ships warp within range of Earth. Over all electronic devices the message is heard, "Earth, we come in peace. In all the universe only one other Species has mastered Death and Destruction as you have. We need your help." | In 2056 NASA intercepted a frequency that was not of Earth. With its point of origin unknown they began to study it in an attempt to discover from whence it came. As it was studied it became known as the whoa signal, mockingly after the famous "wow!" signal of 1977 which was deemed the echo of a supernova, for unlike ... | The representatives stood in their chamber. The were discussing the vessel from the outer rim, *their territory*, approaching the center while transmitting peace and trade signals given to *them* during first contact. And when the communication ministry said signals, they meant copies of every single non-violent signal... | |
[WP] A multitude of Alien ships warp within range of Earth. Over all electronic devices the message is heard, "Earth, we come in peace. In all the universe only one other Species has mastered Death and Destruction as you have. We need your help." | They were beautiful, really.
Evolving on a world completely covered by ocean , they were aquatic rather than terrestrial. Soft, translucent skin revealed a brain 10 times larger than what the human skull could accommodate. Feathered tentacles spread out like wings, feelers detecting the temperature and air composition... | Meanwhile in a Secret Room with 8 mysterious men seated around a table:
Man 1: Gentlemen, It seems we have extraterrestrial life forms in our midst.
Man 2: Well well, I smell an opportunity. While we have profited from selling weapons to the US military, ISIS, the Saudis and other groups we can give the aliens our "... |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.