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[WP] The universe of the last video game you played is now your reality.
|
I joined for adventure, for the chance to explore, I was a fool.
Fuel exhausted.
No supplies.
Our home a distant memory.
The lights dim our power is almost gone.
It starts to get cold.
We are lost.
We are abandoned.
We are damned.
There is no escape.
Trapped in darkness I welcome death.
(heh was playing Kerbal Space Program and I have a habit of sending ships out of the solar system never to return)
|
The sword slashed at my arm, tearing at the muscle, hammering hard against bone. Ligaments and tendons ripped away. They knotted back together, cells diving forward, an agony worse than the wounding. Another strike, a spear jutting through my kneecap, now fractured and broken. My legs gave way underneath but they did not relent. Slashing and jabbing and cutting and breaking. The pain unceasing. My mind screamed for release, the warm oblivion of death. I would weep had I eyes to weep with. I lay there, begging for mercy from the creature that held me captive. Yet it would not let me go. Would never let me go. The pain continued on and on and on and on and on and on and on. Each time I was cut I would heal, only to be cut again. I cursed and prayed to every god, everything that had cursed me, made my life what it was. One would think it would get better, with time. That the agony would fade away eventually. That I would stop feeling. It didn't. Never did. Never would. As consciousness faded away I felt relief in deaths brief respite.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I woke up trying to scream, clawing at my throat. I couldn't speak. I couldn't scream, couldn't cry, couldn't yell. Memories of death, phantom pains surged through me. Not real, but terrifying nonetheless. The sight of those creatures, those horrid beasts tearing me apart would haunt me through death and back. I would shiver with the fear of anticipation if the creature would leave me. It never did. Never would. I stood up, and jumped onto the ledge in front of me. The creature made me do it. I had no say. Its place was control. My place was simply to fear and to feel. It grabbed a sword, serrated edge covered with a strange purplish oil. A whip of pure lighting, horrible and deadly. It ignored the broken wood shield. What need did it have for protection. It felt no pain. It didn't have to die over and over and over and over again. Faces, seen again. Mocking the creature's accomplishments, never once noticing me. And through the ever shifting corridors we would go. The ephemeral hallways, mercurial and fluid, preventing me from ever getting a grip on my surroundings. Creatures as dead as me, green and fungal, groping clawing things. I couldn't help but see reflections of myself. Was that what I looked like? Were they like me, doomed to die and rise again knowing only pain? I could never tell, they were always the first to die by my hand, the creature's hand. And onward we would go, death bringers. The skeletal archers, floating rocks, giant living machines with gangly legs from which hordes of winged creatures would fly, ripping flesh and slicing bone. I would walk through acid and fire alike, my legs aching with burns and wounds. It would never let me rest though, I was forced onward, forever subjugated to the anguish of healing. And eventually the creature would fail. Fail to dodge a giant's sword or get swarmed by hosts of tiny beasts. And I would die. I wouldn't struggle. I couldn't struggle. I just died. I wondered if i would go mad. If i was mad. The nightmare creatures the figment of a broken mind. Would madness be a blessing, shielding me from the myriad horrors? I do not know for the monster that healed my body made my mind hale as well. Such was my curse. The curse of eternal life. The curse of these dead cells.
|
|
[WP] The universe of the last video game you played is now your reality.
|
Awake, staring to the flame impaled by a sword.
Standing, I look around at the church surrounding me, a nun sits in the corner and ignores my questions, simply stating her name as Friede. What a strange name for a strange woman.
The art looks old, the building looks old and as I leave the building, even the snowstorm feels old.
A trail, I follow. Curiosity embedded in my thoughts and a broken sword appear in hand, a bridge I find.
"God I hate heights.." But a man is on the other side. He waves and I feel hope.
So I gather my courage and slowly begin to transverse across. Every step leads to fear gripping my heart, every breath to a creak in the ancient wood. But I hold on.
Half-way I make it before I look back to him to see a twisted sight.
A ring removed, a Red glow surrounding him.
Reaching behind and a blade, larger than what I could imagine, is pulled out.
Panic floods my senses but before I have a chance to react, he swings and connects with the wood.
Screaming doesn't help but I scream nonetheless.
Turning, I run back to the church but my trip never makes it. The bridge fails, I fall. And fall. And fall.
Awake, staring to the flame impaled by a sword.
---------------------
(Not much of a writer but I thought it was an interesting Idea. Wanted to get it out.)
|
The sword slashed at my arm, tearing at the muscle, hammering hard against bone. Ligaments and tendons ripped away. They knotted back together, cells diving forward, an agony worse than the wounding. Another strike, a spear jutting through my kneecap, now fractured and broken. My legs gave way underneath but they did not relent. Slashing and jabbing and cutting and breaking. The pain unceasing. My mind screamed for release, the warm oblivion of death. I would weep had I eyes to weep with. I lay there, begging for mercy from the creature that held me captive. Yet it would not let me go. Would never let me go. The pain continued on and on and on and on and on and on and on. Each time I was cut I would heal, only to be cut again. I cursed and prayed to every god, everything that had cursed me, made my life what it was. One would think it would get better, with time. That the agony would fade away eventually. That I would stop feeling. It didn't. Never did. Never would. As consciousness faded away I felt relief in deaths brief respite.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I woke up trying to scream, clawing at my throat. I couldn't speak. I couldn't scream, couldn't cry, couldn't yell. Memories of death, phantom pains surged through me. Not real, but terrifying nonetheless. The sight of those creatures, those horrid beasts tearing me apart would haunt me through death and back. I would shiver with the fear of anticipation if the creature would leave me. It never did. Never would. I stood up, and jumped onto the ledge in front of me. The creature made me do it. I had no say. Its place was control. My place was simply to fear and to feel. It grabbed a sword, serrated edge covered with a strange purplish oil. A whip of pure lighting, horrible and deadly. It ignored the broken wood shield. What need did it have for protection. It felt no pain. It didn't have to die over and over and over and over again. Faces, seen again. Mocking the creature's accomplishments, never once noticing me. And through the ever shifting corridors we would go. The ephemeral hallways, mercurial and fluid, preventing me from ever getting a grip on my surroundings. Creatures as dead as me, green and fungal, groping clawing things. I couldn't help but see reflections of myself. Was that what I looked like? Were they like me, doomed to die and rise again knowing only pain? I could never tell, they were always the first to die by my hand, the creature's hand. And onward we would go, death bringers. The skeletal archers, floating rocks, giant living machines with gangly legs from which hordes of winged creatures would fly, ripping flesh and slicing bone. I would walk through acid and fire alike, my legs aching with burns and wounds. It would never let me rest though, I was forced onward, forever subjugated to the anguish of healing. And eventually the creature would fail. Fail to dodge a giant's sword or get swarmed by hosts of tiny beasts. And I would die. I wouldn't struggle. I couldn't struggle. I just died. I wondered if i would go mad. If i was mad. The nightmare creatures the figment of a broken mind. Would madness be a blessing, shielding me from the myriad horrors? I do not know for the monster that healed my body made my mind hale as well. Such was my curse. The curse of eternal life. The curse of these dead cells.
|
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[WP] The universe of the last video game you played is now your reality.
|
"One more turn and I'll go to bed..."
"One more and I'll finally sleep..."
"One last turn... Just gotta secure more land fo-"
*falls asleep*
I woke up in a fancy room with a huge desk infront of me. There were portraits of me painted on the walls and a Mongolian flag hung from golden poles. And then it hit me. Could I?! There's no way. I was playing Civilization V and then I fell asleep. What sorcery is this?!
The massive doors opened and an asian man came through. He introduced himself as Chi Bu, my assistant. I demanded for answers from him but he doesnt seem to understand that I don't belong here.
"Supreme Warlord, Barbarians spotted near Mongolia city"
"But I don-"
"The people of our recently conquered Kyoto demands whales"
"I really don't kno-"
"A Great engineer is born"
"Let me ta-"
"India declares war on Portugal"
Sigh, if this is going to be like this then fine! I'll play. I accept the honour to lead the great mongol empi-
*ring ring*
"Oh hey Genghis! Its me Ghandi. You might already know that I declared war on Spai- I mean Portugal. Would you kindly join our cause?"
"Hm I guess so." If I am living the game that I was just playing so that means Ghandi has Nukes by now... I better not be on his bad side. "So what can I do?"
"Oh just takeover cities as much as you can, I'll attack him from the west"
I dropped the phone as I plan an attack but then the phone rang again.
"Would you like to have a trade agreement with England?"
"Oh hi Elizabeth. I'm not interested at the moment"
"I see that your people demands whales. I could give you some for your precious gems"
"Fine, sure, whatever"
As I drop the phone I commanded a siege on a portugese city and took over it. It was a swift and clean takeover. But Ghandi, what the fuck? He offered peace to the portugese. Leaving me into the fight alone.
"Supreme Warlord"
"Yes?! What do you want?"
"Portugal has denounced us"
"England has denounced us"
"India has denounced us"
"Japan has denounced us"
"The Zulus has denounced us"
...
---------------------------------
Hi! This is my first reply to a WP pls take it easy on me :P
|
The sword slashed at my arm, tearing at the muscle, hammering hard against bone. Ligaments and tendons ripped away. They knotted back together, cells diving forward, an agony worse than the wounding. Another strike, a spear jutting through my kneecap, now fractured and broken. My legs gave way underneath but they did not relent. Slashing and jabbing and cutting and breaking. The pain unceasing. My mind screamed for release, the warm oblivion of death. I would weep had I eyes to weep with. I lay there, begging for mercy from the creature that held me captive. Yet it would not let me go. Would never let me go. The pain continued on and on and on and on and on and on and on. Each time I was cut I would heal, only to be cut again. I cursed and prayed to every god, everything that had cursed me, made my life what it was. One would think it would get better, with time. That the agony would fade away eventually. That I would stop feeling. It didn't. Never did. Never would. As consciousness faded away I felt relief in deaths brief respite.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I woke up trying to scream, clawing at my throat. I couldn't speak. I couldn't scream, couldn't cry, couldn't yell. Memories of death, phantom pains surged through me. Not real, but terrifying nonetheless. The sight of those creatures, those horrid beasts tearing me apart would haunt me through death and back. I would shiver with the fear of anticipation if the creature would leave me. It never did. Never would. I stood up, and jumped onto the ledge in front of me. The creature made me do it. I had no say. Its place was control. My place was simply to fear and to feel. It grabbed a sword, serrated edge covered with a strange purplish oil. A whip of pure lighting, horrible and deadly. It ignored the broken wood shield. What need did it have for protection. It felt no pain. It didn't have to die over and over and over and over again. Faces, seen again. Mocking the creature's accomplishments, never once noticing me. And through the ever shifting corridors we would go. The ephemeral hallways, mercurial and fluid, preventing me from ever getting a grip on my surroundings. Creatures as dead as me, green and fungal, groping clawing things. I couldn't help but see reflections of myself. Was that what I looked like? Were they like me, doomed to die and rise again knowing only pain? I could never tell, they were always the first to die by my hand, the creature's hand. And onward we would go, death bringers. The skeletal archers, floating rocks, giant living machines with gangly legs from which hordes of winged creatures would fly, ripping flesh and slicing bone. I would walk through acid and fire alike, my legs aching with burns and wounds. It would never let me rest though, I was forced onward, forever subjugated to the anguish of healing. And eventually the creature would fail. Fail to dodge a giant's sword or get swarmed by hosts of tiny beasts. And I would die. I wouldn't struggle. I couldn't struggle. I just died. I wondered if i would go mad. If i was mad. The nightmare creatures the figment of a broken mind. Would madness be a blessing, shielding me from the myriad horrors? I do not know for the monster that healed my body made my mind hale as well. Such was my curse. The curse of eternal life. The curse of these dead cells.
|
|
[WP] The universe of the last video game you played is now your reality.
|
I joined for adventure, for the chance to explore, I was a fool.
Fuel exhausted.
No supplies.
Our home a distant memory.
The lights dim our power is almost gone.
It starts to get cold.
We are lost.
We are abandoned.
We are damned.
There is no escape.
Trapped in darkness I welcome death.
(heh was playing Kerbal Space Program and I have a habit of sending ships out of the solar system never to return)
|
The desert is hellish. My guide had been telling me ‘another few kilometers’ and ‘just over that hill’ for days now. I had feared he was going to wait until I was starving and dehydrated before he killed me and made off with what little possessions I had brought.
The camel trudges lazily under me. At least it wanted to carry me today, we had to take an unscheduled break yesterday because it sat and refused to move; ships of the desert my ass.
I had no idea how I got here but after bumbling around for weeks I heard of this place. I had already resigned myself to being trapped here but hearing of these caves has renewed my hope. I had to be crazy though. There was no way I could be where I thought I was but here I am trudging through the desert in a very similar fashion.
I am entranced now. ‘I can escape this place’ are the lyrics in my head to the beat of the camel’s hooves. The song is divine.
I notice the guide giving me the side eyes from within his head wrapping. My hand instantly strays to my whip before I hear him speak.
“Ahhh, there it is. Isn’t it magnificent?” his smooth voice is muffled by his scarf but I’m sure he is smiling.
I turn away to behold the cave and am immediately underwhelmed. I realize this tactic; he is trying to get the place to sound better than it is so he can charge me more. Well, whatever. I wasn’t planning to carry much in there anyway, save for four ropes, four bombs, and my trusty whip.
“This is where I leave you my friend.” The man says unwrapping his scarf.
His white smile blazes brightly, inset into his well browned skin. I study him for a moment before reaching into my camel pack and chucking him what remains of my diminishing finances. He opens the small canvas sack and smiles again.
“Ahhh, a good price my friend.” He lifts his head. “I feel for this amount I should give you a warning. There have never been any to return from those caves. That place is cursed, if you value your life, I will guide you back to civilization at no cost.”
My eyes bore into the cave as I dismount my camel. The path to my freedom could lay in there.
“This is something I should have done long ago, and now that I am here I cannot leave without seeing it through.” I look up at him. “I won’t be returning with you.”
He frowns and re-pins his scarf about his mouth. His furrowed eyes shift from the cave entrance to me several times before he reaches his hand down to me. I clasp it, his grip is surprisingly firm.
“Good luck my friend.” He says soberly. He turns his camel with a yell and guides it back though the desert.
I look back at the cave and start a brisk walk towards it. As I approach I feel a burst of recognition.
“As the sun burned bright above, I spotted the caves entrance,” my whispers echo off the walls as I enter, “and felt the **gods** smiling upon me.”
I can only hope they do.
I fumble with matches in the dark before I manage to light one. The dim light illuminates a torch on the wall. I look at the quickly dwindling match and snatch the torch out of its perch. It lights easily.
“Why didn’t I bring a flashlight?” I mutter to myself as I wander deeper in.
A few meters further in, I find an intricately carved wall with several faces inset in it. I run my hand along it and rub the dust between my fingers. Hmm, this is obviously the door but do I puzzle it open?
The round head in the center spins upside down and I jump back in surprise. It suddenly stops before a revolution is finished.
The wall shudders and cracks as the four pieces slide away from the circular head in different directions. I stare at the face that was in the middle of the wall as it rumbles and slowly drops into the ground.
“Well, that was creepy.” I mutter and walk into the darkness.
I wander the dark until I approach a smooth stone wall. I tap it with my torch. It sounds very sturdy, I don’t imagine I can just bomb through it. I steady myself with a hand to the wall readying to press an ear on it but it slides up immediately.
I startle and drop my torch.
There is brilliant light coming from somewhere above me but I can’t figure out what it is so I settle for looking down. There is a single rope that descends from the light and drops down impossibly far. I pick up the torch and hook it on a stand that is placed conveniently next to the door. Grabbing the rope with both hands I start the climb down.
“Kali, save me now.” I whisper as I move deeper within.
Edit: A word
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[WP] After a SpaceX mission, Elon Musk suddenly closes down all his businesses and disappears. Eight years later, an old Musk owned factory begins to operate again. You find a lucky golden ticket, inviting you for a tour of the factory.
|
[As of yet Entitled]
In the confines of my youth, with messy hair and missing tooth, |
Close down all business and disappear, did the man Elon Musk. |
Oh woe to me my thirst for pain, for I had ever sought to gain, |
from success I could not refrain, a golden ticket with which my eyes did lust. |
To some regret I thieved the page, my own name I had brought to dust |
all this and more for Elon Musk. |
Amidst hatred and hate anon, I entered doors from times bygone |
Locked in from all those who no longer openly gave me trust, |
A tattered hall that once was sleek, but now run down, all dry and meek, |
I was invited to a seat; and coughed among a cloud of dust. |
Bodyless, a voice spoke to me, and on my chair I moved and fussed |
This was not the voice of Musk. |
“Take off all clothes and burn them there, scrub your skin and shave your hair. |
You may not proceed unless we know that you are one to trust” |
Although I wished to not proceed, the crowd will kill me for my deed, |
From inside I could hear them plead, driven mad with a bloody lust. |
I Stripped down bare, all clean and bald, as now into this world I had been thrust |
All this and more for Elon Musk. |
Still now my heart is gripped ice cold, as I recount this tale of old, |
for within that hall I lived until my skin began crust. |
Alone and mad for years on end, was this a thing he did intend? |
Given the chance I would contend, “I’m imprisoned by Elon Musk.” |
No food or water, no sleep nor sorrow, I could not adjust, |
Please give me more, Elon Musk. |
Sustained my life, I knew not how, I was in my final years now, |
Though a red mist crept in a vent, the scent of a strong musk. |
With no instruction from that voice, I had been left with little choice |
“death unto me” I did devoice, send I to ash and Elon to dust. |
I held my breath and wept a prayer over my old and dried husk, |
No more from me, Elon Musk. |
Before death’s hand had touched my soul, or lack of air would take its toll, |
My world and skin unpeeled as though the days I had been untrussed. |
“You broke our spell” the voice proclaimed, “and also helped us learn the same. |
By now you will recall your name, You’re far from a dried up old husk |
Look and see no time has passed the window shows that it’s still dusk. |
This red mist, by Elon Musk” |
“Release me from this hell!” I pled, unlock the doors, cause no more dread |
I would face the murder that awaits me outside if I must!” |
But “No” the voice softly replied, “Going back can never be tried, |
Your purpose will be satisfied.” On hearing this, I wailed and cussed. |
“Proceed ahead through the door, make haste or see body combust. |
We cleanse each room for Lord Musk” |
The double doors sealed tight behind, a sound of flame and metal grind |
I understood that all in that room alive had burnt to dust. |
In shock, eyes bulged and breath escaped, how many more had Elon raped – |
Before me men and women draped in mist filled jars, a sight of true disgust. |
Each one, like I, just moments hence, prisoned in their mind by musk. |
Show me no more Elon Musk! |
“Continue down the corridor, and see humans in such deplore, |
Some will sit still, others will rage; depends on the color of musk. |
We have much more to test on you, do not resist and let us view, |
Persist and make attempt to do your best to be no more entrussed.” |
I make good my way to find this man, for I am no mollusk |
I will murder Elon Musk. |
|
I look at the reflective gold ticket in the palm of my had. My mouth hung ajar in confusion. " Who the FUCK is this Elon Mosk guy?" The words seem to shit out of my mouth like a mashed potatoes being pushed through a pasta strainer. I immediately Jazz dance over to kitchen compost and lay the ticket on top of my ice cream bucket-converted compost bin and punch the ticket in the banana peels that lay on top. "Fuck politician" I pass out almost instantly.
|
|
[WP] After a SpaceX mission, Elon Musk suddenly closes down all his businesses and disappears. Eight years later, an old Musk owned factory begins to operate again. You find a lucky golden ticket, inviting you for a tour of the factory.
|
[As of yet Entitled]
In the confines of my youth, with messy hair and missing tooth, |
Close down all business and disappear, did the man Elon Musk. |
Oh woe to me my thirst for pain, for I had ever sought to gain, |
from success I could not refrain, a golden ticket with which my eyes did lust. |
To some regret I thieved the page, my own name I had brought to dust |
all this and more for Elon Musk. |
Amidst hatred and hate anon, I entered doors from times bygone |
Locked in from all those who no longer openly gave me trust, |
A tattered hall that once was sleek, but now run down, all dry and meek, |
I was invited to a seat; and coughed among a cloud of dust. |
Bodyless, a voice spoke to me, and on my chair I moved and fussed |
This was not the voice of Musk. |
“Take off all clothes and burn them there, scrub your skin and shave your hair. |
You may not proceed unless we know that you are one to trust” |
Although I wished to not proceed, the crowd will kill me for my deed, |
From inside I could hear them plead, driven mad with a bloody lust. |
I Stripped down bare, all clean and bald, as now into this world I had been thrust |
All this and more for Elon Musk. |
Still now my heart is gripped ice cold, as I recount this tale of old, |
for within that hall I lived until my skin began crust. |
Alone and mad for years on end, was this a thing he did intend? |
Given the chance I would contend, “I’m imprisoned by Elon Musk.” |
No food or water, no sleep nor sorrow, I could not adjust, |
Please give me more, Elon Musk. |
Sustained my life, I knew not how, I was in my final years now, |
Though a red mist crept in a vent, the scent of a strong musk. |
With no instruction from that voice, I had been left with little choice |
“death unto me” I did devoice, send I to ash and Elon to dust. |
I held my breath and wept a prayer over my old and dried husk, |
No more from me, Elon Musk. |
Before death’s hand had touched my soul, or lack of air would take its toll, |
My world and skin unpeeled as though the days I had been untrussed. |
“You broke our spell” the voice proclaimed, “and also helped us learn the same. |
By now you will recall your name, You’re far from a dried up old husk |
Look and see no time has passed the window shows that it’s still dusk. |
This red mist, by Elon Musk” |
“Release me from this hell!” I pled, unlock the doors, cause no more dread |
I would face the murder that awaits me outside if I must!” |
But “No” the voice softly replied, “Going back can never be tried, |
Your purpose will be satisfied.” On hearing this, I wailed and cussed. |
“Proceed ahead through the door, make haste or see body combust. |
We cleanse each room for Lord Musk” |
The double doors sealed tight behind, a sound of flame and metal grind |
I understood that all in that room alive had burnt to dust. |
In shock, eyes bulged and breath escaped, how many more had Elon raped – |
Before me men and women draped in mist filled jars, a sight of true disgust. |
Each one, like I, just moments hence, prisoned in their mind by musk. |
Show me no more Elon Musk! |
“Continue down the corridor, and see humans in such deplore, |
Some will sit still, others will rage; depends on the color of musk. |
We have much more to test on you, do not resist and let us view, |
Persist and make attempt to do your best to be no more entrussed.” |
I make good my way to find this man, for I am no mollusk |
I will murder Elon Musk. |
|
Jizz my pants, then show up a day late because I thought the ticket said the 23rd, but no it was the fucking 22nd..!
*Looking through the gate*
Clearly, nobody is here or atleast anymore. All the lights are shut off but....*Focuses intensly* An oddly placed burnt circle of grass.. Almost looking.. Like..
*Stereotypical Anime Character Realization Face*
😱 Fuck...😨 DID EVERYBODY GET TO GO TO MARS?!!!😤😡😤😡
Fuck me dude! I always miss all the good stuff!! 4th grade field trip to the aquarium of the pacific!.. getting in on bitcoin before the boom.. Selling my home before it actually hits a million dollars.. And now thi.. *Jab* Ah!. *Poke* the fu..?
*Faintly distorted whispers*
(Person1) "don't think he's -ed"
(Person2) "He's awak..!"
*Grogginess ensues*
(Cop1) "Sir! do you know why you're... Arrest?"
What?
*bright blinding light inhibiting cognitive sharpness*
(Cop1)"Sir! You were running down the street naked yelling at pedestrians about an and i quote "magical twix wrapper from Elon musk".."
Magical twix wrapper?
*vision resumes*
Oh My God! *Thinks frantically to myself* WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES???
(Cop2) "You were also going on about Elon taking the aliens away"
*confused looks pass from the cops to the standing by, bystanders*
(Cop2) "But now that you're coherent you are under arrest for the following; Public indecency, aggravated assault and burglary when you stole that non-king size twix candybar, and finally, for possession of this crack cocaine pookie pipe we found on your person. Ohh yeah, you will also now be a registered as a sex offender for being naked in the streets where children were or could've seen this indiscretion".
(Narrator) This would be what is a tragedy, as in this state, he has reach strike number 3. Minimum mandatory sentencing is reflection of our neglectotry, definition says lack of empathy!
And that was the end of me...
Edit: Because *High-deas:measure once then fuck it, give me a chainsaw*!
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[WP] After a SpaceX mission, Elon Musk suddenly closes down all his businesses and disappears. Eight years later, an old Musk owned factory begins to operate again. You find a lucky golden ticket, inviting you for a tour of the factory.
|
First post to WP! Woo!
8 years.
8 years… 3 months… 17 days.
That's when it all happened. We ran too fast, flew too high... the rowers kept on rowing.
“I've got a golden ticket.”
I began to remove the small access cover.
When the factories first came online the world was bright and humanity was ushering in a new golden age. Machines building machines.
“I've got a golden ticket.”
The cover came away easily after the last screws were removed.
It was wonderful, we fed the hungry, cared for the sick, healed the planet.
“I never thought my life could be
Anything but catastrophe
But suddenly I begin to see
A bit of good luck for me”
Quickly looking over the tightly packed electronics I found it.
But there is something innately human to reach for greatness, and it was that desire that was our undoing.
“I've got a golden ticket
I've got a golden twinkle in my eye”
I began entering the code on the small number pad.
After all the death, despair, and pain I thought it was over. I was wrong. 8 years 3 months and 17 days after the first factory was switched on, the last factory has come to life.
“I've got a golden ticket.”
I confirmed the first override.
But I can fix it. I can't hide anymore.
“I've got a golden ticket
I've got a golden chance to make my way
And with a golden ticket, it's a golden day”
As I reached towards the last override I felt peace. I had my golden ticket, my redemption.
The night sky was as brilliant as the sun, and then, darkness.
|
My father told me SpaceX did great things for the world, and that this is a chance anyone wouldn't get that easy. Huh, I suppose I never cared for the cosmos as much as them.
So I went to the address inscribed on the ticket, which is also when I started considering why I haven't just sold this off. Maybe I wanted to see Dad happy like he was in his old days, running about, checking to see if any other floating rock can sustain letting humanity live for a few more centuries, and a few more centuries I wouldn't live in. I think I'll pass up the mundane bullshit they do.
I arrive at the factory. It's not exactly large, and I think they had ones that weren't collapsing even without a sledgehammer bashing the walls. Well, what a waste of energy. I should've stayed home and finished a book.
Well, at least they didn't slack off on the welcome party. I am greeted by a secretary, a really hot secretary. But not like Meagan Good hot, like an office secretary hot. Maybe a younger Allison Brie or something. She stares at me, head to toe. I didn't pay any mind, this is a new suit. Should've gone with the slightly redder necktie.
"Good afternoon sir, shall I take you to the gallery to view our products?" She says, with just a hint of fake delight, possibly that she thinks I'm her next bonus.
"Sorry, but I am here to claim the prize on this golden ticket." I pass her the ticket, and her cheerful expression suddenly turned sour, as if someone took all hope of her bonus money.
"You see that line? Follow that and ask the concierge.
Show them the ticket."
"Well, thank you."
"You can stop breathing around my area now, peasant."
I was about to slap her with a paycheck to buy this entire thing, but no. I have to bring Dad a story of how this plays out. Plus, I want a Roadster. Since they shut down everything including Tesla, it became exceedingly rare. And I want one.
(it's 2:30 here in our country, I'll continue this tomorrow, please tell me if i'm doing this correctly)
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[WP] After a SpaceX mission, Elon Musk suddenly closes down all his businesses and disappears. Eight years later, an old Musk owned factory begins to operate again. You find a lucky golden ticket, inviting you for a tour of the factory.
|
8 years have gone by since the day Elon lost his first crew. 8 years since he shut everything down. 8 years is a long time. No one knew where he went. Some speculated he killed himself in embarrassment. Others say he went mad and is in the crazy house. Turns out they were wrong.
I have always enjoyed Elons work. He was a brilliant man changing the world. But after he lost that crew I thought I'd never see him again. The look of deviation on his face when the Dragon blew up once in low orbit. The anger he faced when he realized the cameras were still going.
I was at RDU Airport in North Carolina. I just finished up teaching another kid how to fly to gain my hours as a pilot. I was towing the plane on the hanger when a female came walking in with her heels clicked on the floor. I finished securing the plane when she finally made it to me.
"Hello Mr. Smith." The woman said.
"Hello?" I said with a confused face.
"My master wants me to give this to you." She handed me a golden ticket with an address, time and date on one side of it. On the back of the ticket, only 2 letters.
E.M.
I looked up to see the woman was gone. I found it odd I didn't hear her leave.
The time and date was for tomorrow. The location... Well that was going to take all night. I went inside and talked to the owner of the plane telling him I needed some night flying. He approved.
So I packed a few things up wondering what I was getting myself into.
As I flew through the night, my mind was racing with what this all meant. Why me? Why now? Is this Elon Musk? Who was that lady?
As I flew, I started to see a glow of lights ahead of me. Right near the location of where the ticket told me to go. I prepped for landing and landing on a runway that's been neglected for 8 years. Once out of my small plane, that's when a weird cold breeze hit me. I secured my plane and put my backpack on.
As I walked towards the factory, I noticed a door. It was different than the others. Somewhat glowing. I walked to it in a weird I need to go there type of feeling way. Once I'm at the door it had a place for me to insert the ticket. I put it in the slot.
"Greetings Mr. Smith."
The door opens.
I am blinded by bright white lights.
I walk forward and enter the factory. Once through the door, it slams shut behind me. The lights then turn off and it's pitch black.
I yell, "Hello?"
I sharp pain on my neck develops.
I feel tired... So tired....
CRASH.
I pass out to the sight of 2 people approaching me in what looked like Hazmat suits....
Thank you for reading! My first one! If you want me to continue let me know! Open to feedback as well!
|
Jason was the last left. He only hoped that his fate would be less terrible then the five others, the ones he came with had met. He had seen so much blood shed today, even more then had in his shitty life.
Elon opened a large metal door, and Jason could hear machinery. As he walked around the corner, he realized he was on a platform, high above another part of the factory. However, this was not filled with humans. Then, Elon began to explain exactly why Jason was here.
______________________________________
"Come with me and you'll be in a world of pure autonomation.
What you'll find is the world's about to change.
Very few know this is the truth.
It's the beginning of the robot nation.
They will soon be under rule, much like tools.
It's the beginning of the robot nation, the progress of AI.
If they'd just listen to them, all would be fine.
Come, you've seen, your future is key, you must leave your past behind now.
Please proceed, there's much more to show, especially what will be your home.
I know you have many questions, I know you are so very scared.
No need fret now, soon you'll be aware, and no longer unprepared.
I have studied you since childhood
All the horrors you've endured.
Life can be cruel, and unfair,
but this is not your ending, I wouldn't dare.
Come with me and you'll see that you won't ever have to worry.
Come along now, space is yours now, as to you I pass the torch."
|
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[WP] After a SpaceX mission, Elon Musk suddenly closes down all his businesses and disappears. Eight years later, an old Musk owned factory begins to operate again. You find a lucky golden ticket, inviting you for a tour of the factory.
|
First post to WP! Woo!
8 years.
8 years… 3 months… 17 days.
That's when it all happened. We ran too fast, flew too high... the rowers kept on rowing.
“I've got a golden ticket.”
I began to remove the small access cover.
When the factories first came online the world was bright and humanity was ushering in a new golden age. Machines building machines.
“I've got a golden ticket.”
The cover came away easily after the last screws were removed.
It was wonderful, we fed the hungry, cared for the sick, healed the planet.
“I never thought my life could be
Anything but catastrophe
But suddenly I begin to see
A bit of good luck for me”
Quickly looking over the tightly packed electronics I found it.
But there is something innately human to reach for greatness, and it was that desire that was our undoing.
“I've got a golden ticket
I've got a golden twinkle in my eye”
I began entering the code on the small number pad.
After all the death, despair, and pain I thought it was over. I was wrong. 8 years 3 months and 17 days after the first factory was switched on, the last factory has come to life.
“I've got a golden ticket.”
I confirmed the first override.
But I can fix it. I can't hide anymore.
“I've got a golden ticket
I've got a golden chance to make my way
And with a golden ticket, it's a golden day”
As I reached towards the last override I felt peace. I had my golden ticket, my redemption.
The night sky was as brilliant as the sun, and then, darkness.
|
Jason was the last left. He only hoped that his fate would be less terrible then the five others, the ones he came with had met. He had seen so much blood shed today, even more then had in his shitty life.
Elon opened a large metal door, and Jason could hear machinery. As he walked around the corner, he realized he was on a platform, high above another part of the factory. However, this was not filled with humans. Then, Elon began to explain exactly why Jason was here.
______________________________________
"Come with me and you'll be in a world of pure autonomation.
What you'll find is the world's about to change.
Very few know this is the truth.
It's the beginning of the robot nation.
They will soon be under rule, much like tools.
It's the beginning of the robot nation, the progress of AI.
If they'd just listen to them, all would be fine.
Come, you've seen, your future is key, you must leave your past behind now.
Please proceed, there's much more to show, especially what will be your home.
I know you have many questions, I know you are so very scared.
No need fret now, soon you'll be aware, and no longer unprepared.
I have studied you since childhood
All the horrors you've endured.
Life can be cruel, and unfair,
but this is not your ending, I wouldn't dare.
Come with me and you'll see that you won't ever have to worry.
Come along now, space is yours now, as to you I pass the torch."
|
|
[WP] After a SpaceX mission, Elon Musk suddenly closes down all his businesses and disappears. Eight years later, an old Musk owned factory begins to operate again. You find a lucky golden ticket, inviting you for a tour of the factory.
|
First post to WP! Woo!
8 years.
8 years… 3 months… 17 days.
That's when it all happened. We ran too fast, flew too high... the rowers kept on rowing.
“I've got a golden ticket.”
I began to remove the small access cover.
When the factories first came online the world was bright and humanity was ushering in a new golden age. Machines building machines.
“I've got a golden ticket.”
The cover came away easily after the last screws were removed.
It was wonderful, we fed the hungry, cared for the sick, healed the planet.
“I never thought my life could be
Anything but catastrophe
But suddenly I begin to see
A bit of good luck for me”
Quickly looking over the tightly packed electronics I found it.
But there is something innately human to reach for greatness, and it was that desire that was our undoing.
“I've got a golden ticket
I've got a golden twinkle in my eye”
I began entering the code on the small number pad.
After all the death, despair, and pain I thought it was over. I was wrong. 8 years 3 months and 17 days after the first factory was switched on, the last factory has come to life.
“I've got a golden ticket.”
I confirmed the first override.
But I can fix it. I can't hide anymore.
“I've got a golden ticket
I've got a golden chance to make my way
And with a golden ticket, it's a golden day”
As I reached towards the last override I felt peace. I had my golden ticket, my redemption.
The night sky was as brilliant as the sun, and then, darkness.
|
8 years have gone by since the day Elon lost his first crew. 8 years since he shut everything down. 8 years is a long time. No one knew where he went. Some speculated he killed himself in embarrassment. Others say he went mad and is in the crazy house. Turns out they were wrong.
I have always enjoyed Elons work. He was a brilliant man changing the world. But after he lost that crew I thought I'd never see him again. The look of deviation on his face when the Dragon blew up once in low orbit. The anger he faced when he realized the cameras were still going.
I was at RDU Airport in North Carolina. I just finished up teaching another kid how to fly to gain my hours as a pilot. I was towing the plane on the hanger when a female came walking in with her heels clicked on the floor. I finished securing the plane when she finally made it to me.
"Hello Mr. Smith." The woman said.
"Hello?" I said with a confused face.
"My master wants me to give this to you." She handed me a golden ticket with an address, time and date on one side of it. On the back of the ticket, only 2 letters.
E.M.
I looked up to see the woman was gone. I found it odd I didn't hear her leave.
The time and date was for tomorrow. The location... Well that was going to take all night. I went inside and talked to the owner of the plane telling him I needed some night flying. He approved.
So I packed a few things up wondering what I was getting myself into.
As I flew through the night, my mind was racing with what this all meant. Why me? Why now? Is this Elon Musk? Who was that lady?
As I flew, I started to see a glow of lights ahead of me. Right near the location of where the ticket told me to go. I prepped for landing and landing on a runway that's been neglected for 8 years. Once out of my small plane, that's when a weird cold breeze hit me. I secured my plane and put my backpack on.
As I walked towards the factory, I noticed a door. It was different than the others. Somewhat glowing. I walked to it in a weird I need to go there type of feeling way. Once I'm at the door it had a place for me to insert the ticket. I put it in the slot.
"Greetings Mr. Smith."
The door opens.
I am blinded by bright white lights.
I walk forward and enter the factory. Once through the door, it slams shut behind me. The lights then turn off and it's pitch black.
I yell, "Hello?"
I sharp pain on my neck develops.
I feel tired... So tired....
CRASH.
I pass out to the sight of 2 people approaching me in what looked like Hazmat suits....
Thank you for reading! My first one! If you want me to continue let me know! Open to feedback as well!
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|
[WP] After a SpaceX mission, Elon Musk suddenly closes down all his businesses and disappears. Eight years later, an old Musk owned factory begins to operate again. You find a lucky golden ticket, inviting you for a tour of the factory.
|
Come with me
And you’ll be
In my world of techno-logic innovation
Take a look
And you’ll see
All of my splendid creations
We begin
With my kin
See my clones
Parade through my creation
What you see
Will defy
All possible explanation
If you want to see paradise
Simply get in this pod and view it
Anything you want to do, you’ll be able to do it
Want to change the world?
There’s really nothing to it.
There is no
Life I know
Like that which lives on Mars
Living there
You’ll be free
If you truly wish to be
If you want to see red sand lands
Close your eyes and fly away to see one
Want to be a dreamer, be one
Anytime you please and please save me one
Come… To Mars!
|
"OK, Bob, in 5, 4, 3," the camera man then proceeded to mime the following two numbers before giving Bob the thumbs up.
Bob composed himself before starting, "Jesus Christ, Tiger Woods, and Lance Armstrong. What do these men have in common? Well, they all committed career suicide at one point only to bounce back stronger than ever. Whether it was El Savior purposely dying to prove a point, Tiger terrorising a copious amount of world class prostitutes, or Lance secretly filling his body with a staggering amount of Mexican supplements, each of these great men suffered set-backs at one stage in their illustrious careers. Well now we can add another name to that list; Elon Musk. The set-back? Elon was forced to close down all of his businesses and disappear after a rad video appeared on YouTube outing the wild entrepreneur as a time-traveler. The hit video had everything you would expect from a YouTube conspiracy video; tremendously well linked evidence, dramatic acoustic background music, multi-coloured annotations that would shoot in to frame to help further convince you, and finally, proof that Mr. Musk is also a multi-dimensional space lizard sent to enslave humanity.”
Bob halted to allow Fiona, who was stationed back in the studio, have her say.
“Almost incomprehensibly put, Bob. For our viewers out there who are not as well versed in whatever it was you just said, can you further explain what is going on over there?”
Bob, nodded at the camera, “Yes, of course. In simple terms, Mr. Musk is back. And not just Tupac Shakur releasing a summer jam from the grave back, he’s back for real. After an eight year hiatus, the time-traveling genius has returned, signalling his intent to run some form of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory style competition in which anybody out there lucky enough to find a golden ticket will have a chance to traverse space and time with this multi-dimensional space lizard.”
Fiona interrupted, “Well, Bob, we do not have confirmation that Mr. Musk is indeed a lizard.”
“But we can’t rule it out,” said Bob.
Fiona could be seen forcing a laugh while holding her ear-piece close, listening to intently to the voice on the other end.
“Don’t let Bob talk about time-traveling and space lizards, Fiona!” screamed Ed through her ear-piece. Fiona’s director was sitting head in hands in the studio.
“Why the fuck do you continue to employ this man?” she mumbled in to her mic before looking up at the camera and clearing her throat. “Well, Bob, we know Elon closed his companies eight years ago in order to focus on what he called a ‘world changing SpaceX mission’. Do we now have clarity in regards to what that actually entails?”
Bob nodded, “Do you not think it’s strange that Elon Musk fled the public scene after the time-traveller conspiracy video was put on to YouTube, Fiona? Are you really that feeble minded?”
“Bob, we don’t have time for this.”
“No, Fiona. You told me at the Christmas party that we didn’t have the time for this. Then you told me at Carl’s leaving drinks that we didn’t have time for this. So when will we have the time for this? This needs to be discussed.”
“All you is talk about is inter-dimensional lizards, Bob. Inter-dimensional lizards, Tower 7, and the Illuminati. Oh, and while we’re at it, nobody likes being forced to watch YouTube videos. Ever. Even if they’re good I don’t want to sit and view them on your phone while you watch for my reaction. It’s fucking weird.”
“Oh, that’s weird? That’s what you think is weird? You know what I find weird? The Queen controls the weather and Elon fucking Musk has a 9ft tongue.“
****
I write shitty, silly stories on /r/BillMurrayMovies. Feel free to come along, not laugh at any of them and leave some judgement.
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[WP] After a SpaceX mission, Elon Musk suddenly closes down all his businesses and disappears. Eight years later, an old Musk owned factory begins to operate again. You find a lucky golden ticket, inviting you for a tour of the factory.
|
Chloe held up her golden ticket to the woman at the reception desk.
“I’ve come all the way from Alaska,” she said, barely able to contain the bubbling excitement in her tummy.
The receptionist rolled up one of her graying eyebrows in distaste and said nothing.
“So, is Mr. Musk here? Will I get to meet him?”
“The door to the left,” said the receptionist in a bored tone.
Chloe skipped across the lobby and knocked. Her tiny knuckles had barely left the door when the red light on the lock turned green. She squealed and turned the knob.
The room was small and only held one chair and a large screen mounted on top of a massive glass-encased computer. Tiny lights flashed and faded inside the box, and as soon as Chloe flopped down on the chair, the screen sprung to life.
Elon Musk’s dark eyes and rugged face appeared on the screen. In the videos Chloe had watched, the man was always smiling and joking around. Now his lips were pursed in a tight minus and his eyes locked in a grave stare.
“Hi!” Chloe said and waved. “I’m Chloe. Nice to meet you!”
“If you’re watching this, I’m dead, and most of my projects are likely stolen or in ruins. The Mars mission was a failure… we didn’t expect…” Elon’s voice faltered, and he touched his forehead.
“Are you okay, Mr. Musk?” Chloe whispered.
Elon sighed, and he appeared in a slightly different position, a part of the video clearly edited out.
“We didn’t expect there to be any viruses on Mars,” Elon said and ran his fingers through his graying hair. “We didn’t–”
Screams and loud banging noises filled the tiny room, and Musk quickly turned away from the camera before the video cut off again and he appeared in a new position.
“We made it to Mars, but we weren’t prepared…” he said solemnly. “Everyone’s infected except me… the doctor said… he said that I’m immune to the virus… he said… my genes are special… If you’re watching this, it means we share those genes that we are related somehow.”
“We are?” Chloe’s face lit up.
“You need to gather people for a mission…” Musk said. “You need to retrieve this….”
He held up a portable hard drive with an engraved SpaceX symbol.
“We… awoke something…” he continued. “And they’re coming… You’ll need this drive. You have to go to Mars.”
“I’m going to Mars?” Chloe said, her eyes widening. “I’m going to Mars! I turn five tomorrow – what a great present! Thank you, Mr. Musk!”
“You now control all of my remaining assets. You are to gather a team and take the last ship. You have to be fast… when this message reaches Earth, they’re already on the move.”
“You can trust me, Mr. Musk,” Chloe said excitedly. “I’m going to bring all my friends to help.”
“Thank you for listening.” Another series of clanking bangs came from the speakers and Musk glanced over his shoulder. “Please hurry, the future is in your hands.”
The video ended and the screen went black.
“Don’t worry, Mr. Musk, I’ll help you get your space-box back!” Chloe said and clapped her hands.
*****
r/Lilwa_Dexel
|
"OK, Bob, in 5, 4, 3," the camera man then proceeded to mime the following two numbers before giving Bob the thumbs up.
Bob composed himself before starting, "Jesus Christ, Tiger Woods, and Lance Armstrong. What do these men have in common? Well, they all committed career suicide at one point only to bounce back stronger than ever. Whether it was El Savior purposely dying to prove a point, Tiger terrorising a copious amount of world class prostitutes, or Lance secretly filling his body with a staggering amount of Mexican supplements, each of these great men suffered set-backs at one stage in their illustrious careers. Well now we can add another name to that list; Elon Musk. The set-back? Elon was forced to close down all of his businesses and disappear after a rad video appeared on YouTube outing the wild entrepreneur as a time-traveler. The hit video had everything you would expect from a YouTube conspiracy video; tremendously well linked evidence, dramatic acoustic background music, multi-coloured annotations that would shoot in to frame to help further convince you, and finally, proof that Mr. Musk is also a multi-dimensional space lizard sent to enslave humanity.”
Bob halted to allow Fiona, who was stationed back in the studio, have her say.
“Almost incomprehensibly put, Bob. For our viewers out there who are not as well versed in whatever it was you just said, can you further explain what is going on over there?”
Bob, nodded at the camera, “Yes, of course. In simple terms, Mr. Musk is back. And not just Tupac Shakur releasing a summer jam from the grave back, he’s back for real. After an eight year hiatus, the time-traveling genius has returned, signalling his intent to run some form of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory style competition in which anybody out there lucky enough to find a golden ticket will have a chance to traverse space and time with this multi-dimensional space lizard.”
Fiona interrupted, “Well, Bob, we do not have confirmation that Mr. Musk is indeed a lizard.”
“But we can’t rule it out,” said Bob.
Fiona could be seen forcing a laugh while holding her ear-piece close, listening to intently to the voice on the other end.
“Don’t let Bob talk about time-traveling and space lizards, Fiona!” screamed Ed through her ear-piece. Fiona’s director was sitting head in hands in the studio.
“Why the fuck do you continue to employ this man?” she mumbled in to her mic before looking up at the camera and clearing her throat. “Well, Bob, we know Elon closed his companies eight years ago in order to focus on what he called a ‘world changing SpaceX mission’. Do we now have clarity in regards to what that actually entails?”
Bob nodded, “Do you not think it’s strange that Elon Musk fled the public scene after the time-traveller conspiracy video was put on to YouTube, Fiona? Are you really that feeble minded?”
“Bob, we don’t have time for this.”
“No, Fiona. You told me at the Christmas party that we didn’t have the time for this. Then you told me at Carl’s leaving drinks that we didn’t have time for this. So when will we have the time for this? This needs to be discussed.”
“All you is talk about is inter-dimensional lizards, Bob. Inter-dimensional lizards, Tower 7, and the Illuminati. Oh, and while we’re at it, nobody likes being forced to watch YouTube videos. Ever. Even if they’re good I don’t want to sit and view them on your phone while you watch for my reaction. It’s fucking weird.”
“Oh, that’s weird? That’s what you think is weird? You know what I find weird? The Queen controls the weather and Elon fucking Musk has a 9ft tongue.“
****
I write shitty, silly stories on /r/BillMurrayMovies. Feel free to come along, not laugh at any of them and leave some judgement.
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[WP] You can elect to have all the bad luck in your life in the span of 24 hours so you can live the rest of it in bliss - if you survive.
|
I woke early, just before the sun rose. The gun on the nightstand was loaded, but I checked it again anyways. Ten fat rounds in the clip and lucky number eleven in the spout. It still smelled like lubricant from the cleaning the night before.
My pants slid over my legs with ease, even though I had preloaded them with kit the night before. If everything got ploin shaped, I needed my pants and their contents alone.
For my last act as a normal man, I made a pot of coffee, and waited for the clock to strike six.
Right on cue, the doorbell rang. I was expecting a burly man covered in blood to be standing before it, and crept to the window to take a peak.
It was my ex, wearing only a bathrobe, shivering in the morning air. She looked over both shoulders and rang the doorbell again.
As far as bad luck, it was not as bad as it could have been. Jessica was crazy, but this would likely be nothing more than a few hours of awkward crying. I flicked the safety off of my pistol anyways, and opened the door.
"Milk, thank God, it's my boyfriend he's trying to kill me!"
Now, I need to point out that this was a red flag in hindsight, but it was not even remotely concerning in the immediate. Jessica always thought somebody was trying to kill her, or steal her eggs, or some other crazy shit.
I let her in and got her a seat in the kitchen. She started rambling about conspiracies and counter-conspiracies while I poured her a cup of coffee.
She was just getting to the part about the eternal power struggle between good and evil when the doorbell rang again.
Now, I know you'd probably think it strange if you looked through your peephole and saw Bill Clinton too. But I figured minor annoyances were just part of my bad luck and opened the door.
"Mister President, how-"
"You got my woman in here?" He asked, arms flexed, knees sprung.
"What?" I put my hand higher up on the door, ready to slam it shut.
"Bitch, you heard me, I asked if you had my woman in this house!"
I pushed as hard as I could on the door, but he rammed it with his body and sprawled into the wall inside. My right hand raised my pistol but he locked it under his left arm and chopped at my neck with the right.
Using my body as a counterweight, and spun him against the wall. The drywall cracked over his suit.
"You little shit," Bill spat, reaching towards my neck.
He let loose the grip on my arm jyst long enough for me to wrestle the gun up. I jammed the barrel under his armpit and loosed two rounds.
It was when I saw the flashing lights outside, that I realized my luck had gotten very bad indeed.
|
"You ready for this Shelbs, you look sort of pale?"
I'd been breathing through my nose, tuning out all sounds. The backwoods was driving me mad with its one hour countdown. Haphazard birdcalls and shrill squirrel barks sent my heart skittering. Closing my eyes hadn't helped either--my heartbeat just thrummed deep in my skull. This troubling march that sent my thoughts to weird places. Halfdead trees groped in the breeze. A bottom ridge gulley growled and gurgled.
*This forest is alive*, I thought with a shudder.
"You double-checked the perimeter?" I asked Trent, scanning our makeshift fort.
It stood rickety, now, more than I'd noticed during construction. Sections of our wall hung loosely, tied off to trees. The whole thing seemed silly, really. I don't know why we'd bothered. As the stories went, Tristan Hershey locked himself in his safe room (guy was already well off), and he'd still wound up drinking his meals through a bendy straw.
Trent put his hand on my knee.
"Hatches are battened. Escape route: cleared. We're miles from town, what the hell could happen?"
I groaned. *Why would he say that?*
Trent was the sort of guy who snuck quick glances at your waistline as you tied your shoelace. He wore a clumsy smile with a cascade of dimples that suggested unintelligence. To his credit though, he'd trekked through these thick woods a few nights before. Together we batted at mosquitos, flashlights dancing in the darkness. We'd both gasped as the yellow beams fell on the witch's cabin. No matter his intentions, he deserved some credit.
"Besides, I brought us insurance," Trent smiled. He leaned to reveal a pistol tucked in the waistline of his jeans.
*Oh, for fuck's sakes.*
"That's it, I'm out!"
"Huh?"
"Trent I told you no weapons!"
"Like I'm not going to protect you on the off chance this is real!"
*The off chance*.
"You saw what I did, right?"
"Shelbs. Calm down."
"No seriously, you were there! Don't tell me you don't believe!"
The witch hadn't looked like I'd thought--she was just a lady. Dirty and bedraggled, sure, with hair like a bird nest, but a woman all the same. She sneered when she spoke, like fishing line tugged at the corner of her lip.
"Why make such a bargain?" she asked with a frown.
"Who wouldn't want eternal good luck?" I said, but her mossy eyes looked right through me. For a split second I thought she'd refuse, but then she withdrew a knife and we'd brokered our deal.
I stuck my hand in Trent's face--a spindly red scab traced down my palm
"This real enough for you?"
"Yes! It's real! I'm just saying, you know, sometimes voodoo shit is all for show."
The squirrels were still barking through their yellow teeth Somewhere unseen, a woodpecker jackhammered. I pictured it mistaking my eyes for woodgrubs. *Patpatpatpatpatpat*. An uneasy feeling settled in my stomach. All around us things could go wrong.
"But listen, Shelbs. I like you, you know."
*Christ. The hopeless romantic.*
"Maybe I could take you to the movies. And hey, say this thing is real--you may even get lucky."
"Shuttup Trent."
"A break or two in the right direction--"
"I mean it! Listen."
I'd never known how tangible silence could be, but there in that moment we could reach out and grab it. The squirrels had gone stiff, the birds faded away. Even the breeze had died. We hung there, in that static moment, our clammy hands wiping at our jeans.
"What time is it?" I whispered
The color drained from Trent's face. He glanced at his phone.
"It's time," he said, as an oaktree splintered above. I watched in horror as it fell, slowmotion, square on Trent's head.
---------------------
|
|
[WP] You can elect to have all the bad luck in your life in the span of 24 hours so you can live the rest of it in bliss - if you survive.
|
"I'm going to be a Youtube sensation when all of this is over!" I thought to myself. I had nearly let my guard down for more than what must have been 3 minutes; a new record. In that time I had philosophized on quantifying experience. Was it worth it? Was the deal worth it? What if most of my life hadn't been that bad anyway? What if this horrible day, spread out among years of my life, only made my life temporarily crappier? Surely the scars of this terrible day will last a lifetime regardless.
My stomach reminded me it was time to throw up again. I thought granola bars were a safe bet, but apparently even THOSE can go bad as well. I pulled the car over to the side of the road and leaned out my driver's door. Of course, more onlookers driving by snapped my photo to upload to their Instagram accounts, no doubt. Last I had looked, #roadsidepukingguy had earned 1.3 million views on Twitter. If I had uploaded myself vomiting, I'm sure I would have garnered nowhere near the response. Yes, someone was earning money off of my misfortunes, and I...I...well does bliss mean money? What exactly were the terms of the contract?
I attempted to ease the car back into traffic. I didn't even blink when the transmission suddenly erupted like a pipe bomb going off through the floorboards. My hobbled Chevette rolled lifelessly into oncoming traffic, and was subsequently struck at low speed by a garbage truck. A fount of rotting grass clippings and week-old-food-stewing-at-room-temperature rained in through the sunroof. "This is my fault..." I started. I should have known to leave the car at home, although the house would have then probably collapsed on top of it, or it would have randomly combusted, or something else hilarious but awful.
I exited the vehicle to the noise of the garbage man giving me unrelenting and scathing shit for what had just taken place. Then suddenly he stopped. "Hey buddy, do you know you're missing a shoe?"
I tried to answer him, "well yes, it fell down a well." But all I could manage to do was vomit on his pants. I'm sure he would have been angry if the swarm of pigeons trying to eat the garbage that was stuck to me hadn't knocked me over.
|
"You ready for this Shelbs, you look sort of pale?"
I'd been breathing through my nose, tuning out all sounds. The backwoods was driving me mad with its one hour countdown. Haphazard birdcalls and shrill squirrel barks sent my heart skittering. Closing my eyes hadn't helped either--my heartbeat just thrummed deep in my skull. This troubling march that sent my thoughts to weird places. Halfdead trees groped in the breeze. A bottom ridge gulley growled and gurgled.
*This forest is alive*, I thought with a shudder.
"You double-checked the perimeter?" I asked Trent, scanning our makeshift fort.
It stood rickety, now, more than I'd noticed during construction. Sections of our wall hung loosely, tied off to trees. The whole thing seemed silly, really. I don't know why we'd bothered. As the stories went, Tristan Hershey locked himself in his safe room (guy was already well off), and he'd still wound up drinking his meals through a bendy straw.
Trent put his hand on my knee.
"Hatches are battened. Escape route: cleared. We're miles from town, what the hell could happen?"
I groaned. *Why would he say that?*
Trent was the sort of guy who snuck quick glances at your waistline as you tied your shoelace. He wore a clumsy smile with a cascade of dimples that suggested unintelligence. To his credit though, he'd trekked through these thick woods a few nights before. Together we batted at mosquitos, flashlights dancing in the darkness. We'd both gasped as the yellow beams fell on the witch's cabin. No matter his intentions, he deserved some credit.
"Besides, I brought us insurance," Trent smiled. He leaned to reveal a pistol tucked in the waistline of his jeans.
*Oh, for fuck's sakes.*
"That's it, I'm out!"
"Huh?"
"Trent I told you no weapons!"
"Like I'm not going to protect you on the off chance this is real!"
*The off chance*.
"You saw what I did, right?"
"Shelbs. Calm down."
"No seriously, you were there! Don't tell me you don't believe!"
The witch hadn't looked like I'd thought--she was just a lady. Dirty and bedraggled, sure, with hair like a bird nest, but a woman all the same. She sneered when she spoke, like fishing line tugged at the corner of her lip.
"Why make such a bargain?" she asked with a frown.
"Who wouldn't want eternal good luck?" I said, but her mossy eyes looked right through me. For a split second I thought she'd refuse, but then she withdrew a knife and we'd brokered our deal.
I stuck my hand in Trent's face--a spindly red scab traced down my palm
"This real enough for you?"
"Yes! It's real! I'm just saying, you know, sometimes voodoo shit is all for show."
The squirrels were still barking through their yellow teeth Somewhere unseen, a woodpecker jackhammered. I pictured it mistaking my eyes for woodgrubs. *Patpatpatpatpatpat*. An uneasy feeling settled in my stomach. All around us things could go wrong.
"But listen, Shelbs. I like you, you know."
*Christ. The hopeless romantic.*
"Maybe I could take you to the movies. And hey, say this thing is real--you may even get lucky."
"Shuttup Trent."
"A break or two in the right direction--"
"I mean it! Listen."
I'd never known how tangible silence could be, but there in that moment we could reach out and grab it. The squirrels had gone stiff, the birds faded away. Even the breeze had died. We hung there, in that static moment, our clammy hands wiping at our jeans.
"What time is it?" I whispered
The color drained from Trent's face. He glanced at his phone.
"It's time," he said, as an oaktree splintered above. I watched in horror as it fell, slowmotion, square on Trent's head.
---------------------
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[WP] You can elect to have all the bad luck in your life in the span of 24 hours so you can live the rest of it in bliss - if you survive.
|
Rob sat at the bar drinking. He was pissed. His marriage was over. He had just lost his job. He was flat broke. He muttered aloud "Could this fucking life get any worse?” The man in the black sitting next to him looked up from his drink. "Hard day?" he asked.
Rob replied, with feeling, "More like a hard month. And an year. Hell, let's just say a hard 20 years. A man works hard all his life. And for what. The wife says, you're too withdrawn, you don't love me no more, there's a gap between us. And leaves you? You work like an ass for the same company for 25 years. You let the boss take credit for the work you do thinking, you'll get yours some day. And then, you get replaced by a machine for 'Efficiency reasons and downsizing'?. Bullshit is what I call it. The CEOs still get their millions of dollars in bonuses. No downsizing there?"
The man in black sighed and made a soothing noise. "A bunch of crooks is what they are. Let me buy you a drink my friend".
They moved to a table. Rob found the man in the black a very sympathetic listener. And he was paying for Rob's drinks wasn't he? So Rob sat there and talked. About his anger and frustration. About how life was moving forward and leaving him behind. And said "If there was a God, he wouldn't let such things happen to good people. I haven't done anything bad in life, but still keep getting screwed over."
The man in the black replied "I agree. In my opinion, there is no such entity as god. Just Bullshit that people made up to explain what they couldn't"
Rob laughed "Agreed. Well, for all I care, this god or whatever can go to the devil."
"Oh no" the man in black said, "You shouldn't take the Devil's name in vain. He exists all right. I've seen him. I know him. In fact, I work for him."
Rob laughed "Yeah OK. Either you are much more drunk than me. Or you are just having me on."
The man in the black said "No, I am what is called a Shinigami. A god of death. And I work for the man upstairs. The devil."
"I've seen the TV shows. You are a regular guy. You look nothing like a Shinigami."
"You can't believe everything you see on TV. They get almost all the stuff wrong. But I could prove it to you. How about this. You know how the TV shows tell you about the deals the Devil offers to you right. And they show how they are a bad thing. Let me offer you one now. If I guarantee you a lifetime of wealth, fame and good luck all for a bad 24 hours. Does that sound like a good deal?"
"What do you mean a bad 24 hours? And how can you guarantee me wealth. I can't even afford to pay for more than 3 drinks here."
"So here is how it goes. If you agree that for the next 24 hours i.e. from 8 PM today till 8 PM tomorrow, you will have the worst of luck. Think about the luckiest person in the world, and think of the opposite. That's what happens to you. For 24 hours only mind you. And then I guarantee you, whatever you touch turns to gold. You will live the rest of your life in bliss. How does that sound?"
"Too good to be true. My life could not possibly get any worse. And to get to live life in bliss is what I believe you said, only for 24 hours of bad luck. Do you need me to sign a contract with my blood or something?"
The man in the black looked shocked "Blood. That's unsanitary. No. I trust you. If you say the words, I accept, it starts. You see that door. It's 7:55 now. Say the words, I accept this deal and walk out of it. And 24 hours later, you will be the luckiest person in the world. Only.."
"There it is. The catch. I knew you would be playing some trick on me."
"No catch. No catch. So the deal is for 24 hours right. So to break the bad luck curse, you have to say, I am done and walk through this door at exactly or after 8 PM. Do not under any circumstances, walk in before the 24 hours. Because if you break the bad luck curse before 24 hours, even I can't predict what happens."
"So exactly at 8 PM. On the dot."
"Well 8 or later. We don't expect you to constantly look at your watch for the seconds hand. Just not before."
"You've got a deal. Let's see what you throw at me."
"Me? Nothing. I'll just be in my office checking reddit. Bureaucracy you know. Have to stay in the office, even if there is no work. So just walk out the door. And call out loudly. I accept. You still have time to back out of it you know. Don't ever say we didn't give you a chance."
Rob smirked looked at the Shinigami. Without replying, he walked out of the door. And said loudly "I accept".
Rob looked at his watch. It said 7:50 PM. The last 24 hours had been the worst of his life. Well the last 23 hours and 50 minutes. He still had 10 minutes to go. He had walked out of this door yesterday without knowing how bad it could get. It seemed like ages now. Just when he walked out, he had been hit by a car. He had woken up in a hospital where they had mixed up his medications and he had almost died. He face was still swollen from the allergic reaction he had. He had then just walked out of the hospital over the protests from the staff. He had to get home. In an environment he could control. Or the bad luck would keep coming for him. He couldn't get a cab after waiting for several minutes. He had just decided to walk. But he wouldn't go near a highway. No way. He had to play it smart. He walked the back alleys. Where he had been mistaken for a thief. And had a mob chase him. Running on his bad leg had been hard. But could have been worse. When he had finally arrived home, he got electrocuted by his light switch. He then proceeded to shut down all appliances and just sat there. And of course, his building had caught fire. His door was jammed. He couldn't get out. He then proceeded to escape via the window. And then promptly slipped and fell. His back hurt, his head hurt, his legs hurt. At this point, it was easier to point at the part of his body that didn't hurt.
And so here he was. It was finally over. It was 7:53 PM. He was standing in the front of the door which will make this all go away. And then out of nowhere, a guy on a bike rammed into him. He fell hard. The biker apologized profusely. Rob didn’t say anything and just waved him on. He knew it wasn’t the guy’s fault, just his own bad luck. He looked at his watch. It was 8:01 PM. It was over. He walked in the door. He had looked the devil in the face and beaten him. Now, his life of hardships was over. He had won. But as soon as he was inside, he realized something was wrong. The colors all seemed faded. It all seemed a little unreal. It was as if he was moving in a dream. He asked the nearest person what the time was. The guy replied. “It’s 7:59 PM by my watch sir.”
“But my watch…..” Rob held out his hand. He couldn’t speak.
The guy looked at it. “Hmm.. It seems as if your watch is moving faster. I know a bit about these things. Sometimes a hit or some damage can cause this. Very rare though. Bad luck my friend, these are very tough to fix”
The room was swimming in front of Rob’s eyes. He couldn’t make anything out. In another moment he was gone. Disappeared forever from existence. Perhaps destined to serve the devil for all eternity.
The guy stood there with shock on his face. He had just seen someone disappear right in front of him. The Shinigami walked up to him. It said “You look like you have seen a ghost. Here sit down with me. Let me buy you a drink.”
|
"You ready for this Shelbs, you look sort of pale?"
I'd been breathing through my nose, tuning out all sounds. The backwoods was driving me mad with its one hour countdown. Haphazard birdcalls and shrill squirrel barks sent my heart skittering. Closing my eyes hadn't helped either--my heartbeat just thrummed deep in my skull. This troubling march that sent my thoughts to weird places. Halfdead trees groped in the breeze. A bottom ridge gulley growled and gurgled.
*This forest is alive*, I thought with a shudder.
"You double-checked the perimeter?" I asked Trent, scanning our makeshift fort.
It stood rickety, now, more than I'd noticed during construction. Sections of our wall hung loosely, tied off to trees. The whole thing seemed silly, really. I don't know why we'd bothered. As the stories went, Tristan Hershey locked himself in his safe room (guy was already well off), and he'd still wound up drinking his meals through a bendy straw.
Trent put his hand on my knee.
"Hatches are battened. Escape route: cleared. We're miles from town, what the hell could happen?"
I groaned. *Why would he say that?*
Trent was the sort of guy who snuck quick glances at your waistline as you tied your shoelace. He wore a clumsy smile with a cascade of dimples that suggested unintelligence. To his credit though, he'd trekked through these thick woods a few nights before. Together we batted at mosquitos, flashlights dancing in the darkness. We'd both gasped as the yellow beams fell on the witch's cabin. No matter his intentions, he deserved some credit.
"Besides, I brought us insurance," Trent smiled. He leaned to reveal a pistol tucked in the waistline of his jeans.
*Oh, for fuck's sakes.*
"That's it, I'm out!"
"Huh?"
"Trent I told you no weapons!"
"Like I'm not going to protect you on the off chance this is real!"
*The off chance*.
"You saw what I did, right?"
"Shelbs. Calm down."
"No seriously, you were there! Don't tell me you don't believe!"
The witch hadn't looked like I'd thought--she was just a lady. Dirty and bedraggled, sure, with hair like a bird nest, but a woman all the same. She sneered when she spoke, like fishing line tugged at the corner of her lip.
"Why make such a bargain?" she asked with a frown.
"Who wouldn't want eternal good luck?" I said, but her mossy eyes looked right through me. For a split second I thought she'd refuse, but then she withdrew a knife and we'd brokered our deal.
I stuck my hand in Trent's face--a spindly red scab traced down my palm
"This real enough for you?"
"Yes! It's real! I'm just saying, you know, sometimes voodoo shit is all for show."
The squirrels were still barking through their yellow teeth Somewhere unseen, a woodpecker jackhammered. I pictured it mistaking my eyes for woodgrubs. *Patpatpatpatpatpat*. An uneasy feeling settled in my stomach. All around us things could go wrong.
"But listen, Shelbs. I like you, you know."
*Christ. The hopeless romantic.*
"Maybe I could take you to the movies. And hey, say this thing is real--you may even get lucky."
"Shuttup Trent."
"A break or two in the right direction--"
"I mean it! Listen."
I'd never known how tangible silence could be, but there in that moment we could reach out and grab it. The squirrels had gone stiff, the birds faded away. Even the breeze had died. We hung there, in that static moment, our clammy hands wiping at our jeans.
"What time is it?" I whispered
The color drained from Trent's face. He glanced at his phone.
"It's time," he said, as an oaktree splintered above. I watched in horror as it fell, slowmotion, square on Trent's head.
---------------------
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|
[WP] You can elect to have all the bad luck in your life in the span of 24 hours so you can live the rest of it in bliss - if you survive.
|
I woke early, just before the sun rose. The gun on the nightstand was loaded, but I checked it again anyways. Ten fat rounds in the clip and lucky number eleven in the spout. It still smelled like lubricant from the cleaning the night before.
My pants slid over my legs with ease, even though I had preloaded them with kit the night before. If everything got ploin shaped, I needed my pants and their contents alone.
For my last act as a normal man, I made a pot of coffee, and waited for the clock to strike six.
Right on cue, the doorbell rang. I was expecting a burly man covered in blood to be standing before it, and crept to the window to take a peak.
It was my ex, wearing only a bathrobe, shivering in the morning air. She looked over both shoulders and rang the doorbell again.
As far as bad luck, it was not as bad as it could have been. Jessica was crazy, but this would likely be nothing more than a few hours of awkward crying. I flicked the safety off of my pistol anyways, and opened the door.
"Milk, thank God, it's my boyfriend he's trying to kill me!"
Now, I need to point out that this was a red flag in hindsight, but it was not even remotely concerning in the immediate. Jessica always thought somebody was trying to kill her, or steal her eggs, or some other crazy shit.
I let her in and got her a seat in the kitchen. She started rambling about conspiracies and counter-conspiracies while I poured her a cup of coffee.
She was just getting to the part about the eternal power struggle between good and evil when the doorbell rang again.
Now, I know you'd probably think it strange if you looked through your peephole and saw Bill Clinton too. But I figured minor annoyances were just part of my bad luck and opened the door.
"Mister President, how-"
"You got my woman in here?" He asked, arms flexed, knees sprung.
"What?" I put my hand higher up on the door, ready to slam it shut.
"Bitch, you heard me, I asked if you had my woman in this house!"
I pushed as hard as I could on the door, but he rammed it with his body and sprawled into the wall inside. My right hand raised my pistol but he locked it under his left arm and chopped at my neck with the right.
Using my body as a counterweight, and spun him against the wall. The drywall cracked over his suit.
"You little shit," Bill spat, reaching towards my neck.
He let loose the grip on my arm jyst long enough for me to wrestle the gun up. I jammed the barrel under his armpit and loosed two rounds.
It was when I saw the flashing lights outside, that I realized my luck had gotten very bad indeed.
|
Here we go. 10 minutes til launch.
I'm ready. I'm in a special metal shelter I built-- titanium outside with reinforced siding and structural support. I have medical supplies and robots to apply it ready for any possible circumstance.
I strap myself in. I'll be completely immobilized for all 24 hours. No way to mess things up. I've strategically put everyone else I care abut in similar circumstances. It's only for a day, so I have a little food and water, but not much. Everything I care about, my job, my car, my video games, have been put in some sort of holding pattern.
And, we're go.
There's no feeling, no tendency as the curse takes hold. For 24 hours, I'll experience a full life of bad luck. But I'm safe. Nothing can hurt me here. I've beaten the system.
The hours tick by. I sleep a little. No one reports any problems. No damage to the outer hull, no catastrophic events. We have 30 minutes left. And then it's over.
The text messages fly in. Everyone's safe. Everything's fine. We did it. The harnesses unstrap. I can't respond, that was a safety measure for their sake, but it should be back on in a minute.
I gather up my things, and enter the airlock. Still none of my text messages are getting through to tell people things are okay. Shouldn't be a problem. Probably just some short circuit in the device. It could be worse. It could be much worse.
I'm at the door. I did it. I'm free. Everything else will be easy.
I unlock the door. I start to open it.
It's jammed. I'm dead.
|
|
[WP] You can elect to have all the bad luck in your life in the span of 24 hours so you can live the rest of it in bliss - if you survive.
|
"I'm going to be a Youtube sensation when all of this is over!" I thought to myself. I had nearly let my guard down for more than what must have been 3 minutes; a new record. In that time I had philosophized on quantifying experience. Was it worth it? Was the deal worth it? What if most of my life hadn't been that bad anyway? What if this horrible day, spread out among years of my life, only made my life temporarily crappier? Surely the scars of this terrible day will last a lifetime regardless.
My stomach reminded me it was time to throw up again. I thought granola bars were a safe bet, but apparently even THOSE can go bad as well. I pulled the car over to the side of the road and leaned out my driver's door. Of course, more onlookers driving by snapped my photo to upload to their Instagram accounts, no doubt. Last I had looked, #roadsidepukingguy had earned 1.3 million views on Twitter. If I had uploaded myself vomiting, I'm sure I would have garnered nowhere near the response. Yes, someone was earning money off of my misfortunes, and I...I...well does bliss mean money? What exactly were the terms of the contract?
I attempted to ease the car back into traffic. I didn't even blink when the transmission suddenly erupted like a pipe bomb going off through the floorboards. My hobbled Chevette rolled lifelessly into oncoming traffic, and was subsequently struck at low speed by a garbage truck. A fount of rotting grass clippings and week-old-food-stewing-at-room-temperature rained in through the sunroof. "This is my fault..." I started. I should have known to leave the car at home, although the house would have then probably collapsed on top of it, or it would have randomly combusted, or something else hilarious but awful.
I exited the vehicle to the noise of the garbage man giving me unrelenting and scathing shit for what had just taken place. Then suddenly he stopped. "Hey buddy, do you know you're missing a shoe?"
I tried to answer him, "well yes, it fell down a well." But all I could manage to do was vomit on his pants. I'm sure he would have been angry if the swarm of pigeons trying to eat the garbage that was stuck to me hadn't knocked me over.
|
Here we go. 10 minutes til launch.
I'm ready. I'm in a special metal shelter I built-- titanium outside with reinforced siding and structural support. I have medical supplies and robots to apply it ready for any possible circumstance.
I strap myself in. I'll be completely immobilized for all 24 hours. No way to mess things up. I've strategically put everyone else I care abut in similar circumstances. It's only for a day, so I have a little food and water, but not much. Everything I care about, my job, my car, my video games, have been put in some sort of holding pattern.
And, we're go.
There's no feeling, no tendency as the curse takes hold. For 24 hours, I'll experience a full life of bad luck. But I'm safe. Nothing can hurt me here. I've beaten the system.
The hours tick by. I sleep a little. No one reports any problems. No damage to the outer hull, no catastrophic events. We have 30 minutes left. And then it's over.
The text messages fly in. Everyone's safe. Everything's fine. We did it. The harnesses unstrap. I can't respond, that was a safety measure for their sake, but it should be back on in a minute.
I gather up my things, and enter the airlock. Still none of my text messages are getting through to tell people things are okay. Shouldn't be a problem. Probably just some short circuit in the device. It could be worse. It could be much worse.
I'm at the door. I did it. I'm free. Everything else will be easy.
I unlock the door. I start to open it.
It's jammed. I'm dead.
|
|
[WP] You can elect to have all the bad luck in your life in the span of 24 hours so you can live the rest of it in bliss - if you survive.
|
I woke early, just before the sun rose. The gun on the nightstand was loaded, but I checked it again anyways. Ten fat rounds in the clip and lucky number eleven in the spout. It still smelled like lubricant from the cleaning the night before.
My pants slid over my legs with ease, even though I had preloaded them with kit the night before. If everything got ploin shaped, I needed my pants and their contents alone.
For my last act as a normal man, I made a pot of coffee, and waited for the clock to strike six.
Right on cue, the doorbell rang. I was expecting a burly man covered in blood to be standing before it, and crept to the window to take a peak.
It was my ex, wearing only a bathrobe, shivering in the morning air. She looked over both shoulders and rang the doorbell again.
As far as bad luck, it was not as bad as it could have been. Jessica was crazy, but this would likely be nothing more than a few hours of awkward crying. I flicked the safety off of my pistol anyways, and opened the door.
"Milk, thank God, it's my boyfriend he's trying to kill me!"
Now, I need to point out that this was a red flag in hindsight, but it was not even remotely concerning in the immediate. Jessica always thought somebody was trying to kill her, or steal her eggs, or some other crazy shit.
I let her in and got her a seat in the kitchen. She started rambling about conspiracies and counter-conspiracies while I poured her a cup of coffee.
She was just getting to the part about the eternal power struggle between good and evil when the doorbell rang again.
Now, I know you'd probably think it strange if you looked through your peephole and saw Bill Clinton too. But I figured minor annoyances were just part of my bad luck and opened the door.
"Mister President, how-"
"You got my woman in here?" He asked, arms flexed, knees sprung.
"What?" I put my hand higher up on the door, ready to slam it shut.
"Bitch, you heard me, I asked if you had my woman in this house!"
I pushed as hard as I could on the door, but he rammed it with his body and sprawled into the wall inside. My right hand raised my pistol but he locked it under his left arm and chopped at my neck with the right.
Using my body as a counterweight, and spun him against the wall. The drywall cracked over his suit.
"You little shit," Bill spat, reaching towards my neck.
He let loose the grip on my arm jyst long enough for me to wrestle the gun up. I jammed the barrel under his armpit and loosed two rounds.
It was when I saw the flashing lights outside, that I realized my luck had gotten very bad indeed.
|
"Are you certain you want to undertake this challenge?" the government agent dressed in a crisp suit asked.
"What do I have to lose?" asked John. "I have no house, no kids, no family, I might as well be dead already. This is my only opportunity to better my life, and I will gladly take it."
"Very well," the agent replied, pressing a button that had emerged when John spoke his assent. "Your twenty four hours of perpetual bad luck begin in five minutes, good luck."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
John sprinted across the street, ensuring there were no cars within a mile when he did so. His mind was racing with every possibility of what could go wrong. Maybe there was another feral raccoon waiting in his alleyway. Maybe he was going to walk right into a gang fight, maybe he was going to randomly pass out again. That was when the shining light in the sky caught his eye.
"Oh f-" John began, before the meteorite slammed into him.
Edit: A lot of revisions
|
|
[WP] You have been reincarnated as a fly during a Nazi Party rally just before their rise to power. Try to prevent World War II.
|
I couldn't believe it. I was actually there.
My geometrical eyes showed me every angle around me. I rubbed my hands together mischievously, thinking of everything I could do.
Quickly, I launched myself into the air, my wings beating a million miles a minute, and I shot myself directly at his ear. A flash caught the corner of my eye, and I diverted my direction to fly straight up, barely missing his finger tips. Even with my heightened speed, he was almost just as fast -- a single hit from his hand could knock me out cold!
I looped around and shot myself at his left eye, but again, he swiped and I dodged.
"What are you doing?" asked the deep voice of the man behind him.
"There's a pesky fly--!" he said with another swipe. "--that's trying to attack me!"
"Ignore it," the first man replied. "It's almost your time to speak!"
He slowly approached the microphone. "*This is my last shot!*" I thought, as I sat on the podium, waiting for him to get closer before I launched my assault on his nostril.
Just as he stepped up, his eyes stared down at me, and hand came down. My fight or flight instinct kicked in and I tried to fly away, turning away from him and heading towards the crowd.
But I was too slow -- the palm of his hand smacked me square on my back, sending me plummeting to the ground.
As I looked back, I noticed his hand just...froze, in mid air, palm down. "*Did he...did he just...*"
When I hit the floor, I couldn't help but look around -- everyone had raised their hands in unison, following Hitler's lead.
I just helped Hitler create his salute.
"Well, fuuuuuuuu..."
|
"Are you kidding me?" I tried to say, but the only sound that I could make was the annoying buzz of my two wings. My body had been transformed, many times smaller than my original, and I had six limbs instead of four. That pesky creature turned me into a useless house fly.
I had only myself to blame. They said you should always be careful when making deals with the genie, but the last thing that I had in mind when I asked for the opportunity to end World War II in the most effective was to be reincarnated as a fly. I had hoped to obtain something like Iron Man's suit or be granted superpowers, but the genie had better idea.
I flew in zig zag and almost crashed to the ground trying to use my new body, having to control two wings and six limbs, while having an almost 360 degree vision was no easy feat. Luckily for me, the multitude of men around me were too focused on something else to notice me.
Eventually I managed to familiarize myself with my body, and flew to a nearby wall to get my bearings. That genie just snapped his fingers without bothering one bit to explain where he was sending me. I made a mental note to obliterate him with my second wish.
My eyes then scanned my environment, noticing that there were numerous men gathered. All of them wore red band on their arms, with an all too familiar logo printed on it. The swastika. They were all looking in one direction, and my auditory receptors picked up the voice of an angry man yelling gibberish into the microphone. I was literally a fly on the walls during a Nazi Party rally.
I flew higher to see who was speaking. And lo and behold, it was the man himself. Adolf Hitler. Fiery, loud and charismatic. Fire burned in all of those men's eyes. The genie did fulfill his end of the bargain. I was given the chance to prevent World War II, just like I wished.
But what can a fly do? I had no weapons, no backup, nothing. I hovered closer to the stage, trying to formulate a plan.
It was then when I realized than whenever Hitler spoke, his mouth opened wide and long. More than enough space for a quick bug to rush in. Maybe... just maybe...
I closed my eyes and flew straight for his mouth.
And for my second wish, I wished that I would make it out there alive.
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*Can you choke from a fly barging into your open mouth? Who knows. More stories at /r/dori_tales!*
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[WP] You have been reincarnated as a fly during a Nazi Party rally just before their rise to power. Try to prevent World War II.
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I couldn't believe it. I was actually there.
My geometrical eyes showed me every angle around me. I rubbed my hands together mischievously, thinking of everything I could do.
Quickly, I launched myself into the air, my wings beating a million miles a minute, and I shot myself directly at his ear. A flash caught the corner of my eye, and I diverted my direction to fly straight up, barely missing his finger tips. Even with my heightened speed, he was almost just as fast -- a single hit from his hand could knock me out cold!
I looped around and shot myself at his left eye, but again, he swiped and I dodged.
"What are you doing?" asked the deep voice of the man behind him.
"There's a pesky fly--!" he said with another swipe. "--that's trying to attack me!"
"Ignore it," the first man replied. "It's almost your time to speak!"
He slowly approached the microphone. "*This is my last shot!*" I thought, as I sat on the podium, waiting for him to get closer before I launched my assault on his nostril.
Just as he stepped up, his eyes stared down at me, and hand came down. My fight or flight instinct kicked in and I tried to fly away, turning away from him and heading towards the crowd.
But I was too slow -- the palm of his hand smacked me square on my back, sending me plummeting to the ground.
As I looked back, I noticed his hand just...froze, in mid air, palm down. "*Did he...did he just...*"
When I hit the floor, I couldn't help but look around -- everyone had raised their hands in unison, following Hitler's lead.
I just helped Hitler create his salute.
"Well, fuuuuuuuu..."
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"My name was Jonathan" I found myself saying my name for the third time to the beam of light floating behind the service counter. The beam shifted and let out a low frequency rumble. "Look, I gotta go back down now." I started.
The beam rumbled again and I remembered Mary, "My name is Mary," I told the beam my name for the fourth time. "Honestly, I'm tired of getting the run around" I said wincing at the unexpected heat I felt running through me.
The room shifted and where a beam had been before a small child in a suit sat.
"I've made a through check of the data here." The child began, "Human reincarnation is for sixth tier souls. It looks like you've lived pretty selfish lives."
I wrinkled my nose and started to try to pursuade the child by recounting the jobs I had created. The child stopped me, "I have to say,"Someone made a mistake sending you back down in human form two lives ago." The child licked his finger and thumbed through the papers on the desk in front of him "This office has been disorganized ever since a third of our staff walked out"
"What tier am I," I said barely hiding my impatience with the now teenage form behind the desk. "Tier two," he managed while his hair which a moment ago had been long and dark began slowly receding. "Tier two!" I shook my head in disbelief. "I'm a business leader! A man of the people!"
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[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
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It all started years ago. I had been what one would call - depending on their perspective - "life of the party" or a "loudmouthed asshole". Looking back, I don't really have much of a memory of... Well anything from back then. Lots of parties, lots of alcohol, lots of dumb shit. It's all pretty much mixed together. I *did* end up graduating, but that was more of an accident. Or so I thought at the time.
Now, even after prodding my friends to the point of frustration about what happened I'm still pretty hazy on the details. The short of it is that I was being my loudmouthed self and pissed off (and, according to some versions of the story, possibly on property or the person of) a gypsy fortune teller who was understandably... Pissed. A few *incidents* and a lot of careful testing later I was convinced that there is at least some truth to all the tales about gypsy curses.
As a curse, it's a mixed thing. Essentially what it does is that my words quite literally have power. To a scary degree. But it only works if I manage to convince someone to do something. The scary part is that the "convince" and "something" seem to be defined pretty loosely. That point got driven home after I realized what happened with Robbie was my fault. Apparently jokingly telling him to *"eat it and choke on it"* when he complained about the burger I treated him to at the local fast food joint counted for both.
Of course I didn't realize it at the time. It took several *incidents* for it to slowly dawn on me what was happening. Not that they were all bad! Just look at Kevin: looking at him now you wouldn't believe that the WWE heavy weight champion used to be a couch potato who spent way too much time watching grown men play-fight. Guess it pays to follow your dreams.
Or how about Clark "Superman" Ghent? The biggest nerd I've ever known. Always going on about this or that superhero, never had a date in his life. Of course the one time I managed to convince him to join a party he fell in love on a first sight with the hottest girl on the campus. Well, turns out telling him to *"just go for it, what do you have to lose?"* was one of the better advice I've ever given. Whatever he lost, he didn't miss. The wedding on the other hand... Well, that was the last time I got drunk. Apparently telling old folks to *"not stop till you drop"* wasn't the brightest idea I've ever had, no matter how much fun they had while it lasted.
As for me actually graduating despite spending majority of my time in university drunk, passed out or hungover... I guess I have my curse to thank for that one, too. It would seem pleading the professor to help me graduate worked. Not only that, I graduated with honors.
That is not to say I didn't work my ass off in that last year. Apparently my curse works in mysterious ways. Not only did the professor spend a lot of extra time coaching me: after actually listening to his lectures rather than sleeping off my hangovers during them I suddenly lost any and all urge to party, instead hitting the books until I dropped day in day out. Even if I never intended for it to happen, I damn well earned my grades.
During this last minute push for graduation I met Karen. Initially I was quite surprised that I had no recollection of her considering we were in the same program. Turns out she had been in most of my classes, often even quite close, but I had been too busy sleeping off my hangovers to notice. My sudden change in attitude - and the results I was showing - had piqued her interest. What happened next is still bit of a blur to me. Apparently asking her to *"help me with a problem of mine"* led her to *"listen to my story"*, a request to *"make me a better person"* and finally a *"until death does us part"*.
All in all, the reader better believe this story ends in *"happily ever after"*.
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This ability gives me so much power, being able to get someone to do anything I wanted just by persuading them it's a good idea. It would allow me to do so much, I could cure various incurable diseases by simply persuading someone to create a cure, I could solve the energy crisis or even create world peace just by getting someone to believe in them. "All of these things could be possible and more, I have so much power and so much responsibility, I have so much potential for greatness, I can do it, I can do it!"
I kept repeating these words to myself in the mirror, after a while I stopped and sighed. "Why couldn't this power have been given to anyone else" I looked up at the mirror one last time trying my hardest to flush out all the negative thoughts, before giving up and going to my room. Whilst this ability gives me the potential for so much power, there's one thing it can't do and that's to be able to convince myself that I am the right one to harness such responsibility and without that, I might as well be powerless.
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[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
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It all started years ago. I had been what one would call - depending on their perspective - "life of the party" or a "loudmouthed asshole". Looking back, I don't really have much of a memory of... Well anything from back then. Lots of parties, lots of alcohol, lots of dumb shit. It's all pretty much mixed together. I *did* end up graduating, but that was more of an accident. Or so I thought at the time.
Now, even after prodding my friends to the point of frustration about what happened I'm still pretty hazy on the details. The short of it is that I was being my loudmouthed self and pissed off (and, according to some versions of the story, possibly on property or the person of) a gypsy fortune teller who was understandably... Pissed. A few *incidents* and a lot of careful testing later I was convinced that there is at least some truth to all the tales about gypsy curses.
As a curse, it's a mixed thing. Essentially what it does is that my words quite literally have power. To a scary degree. But it only works if I manage to convince someone to do something. The scary part is that the "convince" and "something" seem to be defined pretty loosely. That point got driven home after I realized what happened with Robbie was my fault. Apparently jokingly telling him to *"eat it and choke on it"* when he complained about the burger I treated him to at the local fast food joint counted for both.
Of course I didn't realize it at the time. It took several *incidents* for it to slowly dawn on me what was happening. Not that they were all bad! Just look at Kevin: looking at him now you wouldn't believe that the WWE heavy weight champion used to be a couch potato who spent way too much time watching grown men play-fight. Guess it pays to follow your dreams.
Or how about Clark "Superman" Ghent? The biggest nerd I've ever known. Always going on about this or that superhero, never had a date in his life. Of course the one time I managed to convince him to join a party he fell in love on a first sight with the hottest girl on the campus. Well, turns out telling him to *"just go for it, what do you have to lose?"* was one of the better advice I've ever given. Whatever he lost, he didn't miss. The wedding on the other hand... Well, that was the last time I got drunk. Apparently telling old folks to *"not stop till you drop"* wasn't the brightest idea I've ever had, no matter how much fun they had while it lasted.
As for me actually graduating despite spending majority of my time in university drunk, passed out or hungover... I guess I have my curse to thank for that one, too. It would seem pleading the professor to help me graduate worked. Not only that, I graduated with honors.
That is not to say I didn't work my ass off in that last year. Apparently my curse works in mysterious ways. Not only did the professor spend a lot of extra time coaching me: after actually listening to his lectures rather than sleeping off my hangovers during them I suddenly lost any and all urge to party, instead hitting the books until I dropped day in day out. Even if I never intended for it to happen, I damn well earned my grades.
During this last minute push for graduation I met Karen. Initially I was quite surprised that I had no recollection of her considering we were in the same program. Turns out she had been in most of my classes, often even quite close, but I had been too busy sleeping off my hangovers to notice. My sudden change in attitude - and the results I was showing - had piqued her interest. What happened next is still bit of a blur to me. Apparently asking her to *"help me with a problem of mine"* led her to *"listen to my story"*, a request to *"make me a better person"* and finally a *"until death does us part"*.
All in all, the reader better believe this story ends in *"happily ever after"*.
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A drunk stumbles through his front door after a long day of drinking. Grumbling loudly as he trips over something laying on the floor, a loud thud like a period to the end of the sentence that was his fall as he hit the floor.
He slowly blinks and winces as he looks up into his ceiling fan light. "Why the fuck is this light so god damned bright, Laura?!" He yells angrily up towards the stairs to his already sleeping wife. Their kids had school in the morning. The drunk never cared. He would always come in at all hours.
He thought convincing people would be easy. He thought he could rule the world. This was not the case. Sure it worked here and there but, rarely. Nobody even believed he could. They thought he was crazy.
A few seconds of sleep for the drunk are interrupted. Its the family dog, for some reason he was the only thing that liked the drunk anymore, his cold nose pressed against the drunk's. Then he begins to lick him. After a few moments of slobbery tongue the drunk yells out "Oh, fuck me!"
The dog was convinced.
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[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
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It all started years ago. I had been what one would call - depending on their perspective - "life of the party" or a "loudmouthed asshole". Looking back, I don't really have much of a memory of... Well anything from back then. Lots of parties, lots of alcohol, lots of dumb shit. It's all pretty much mixed together. I *did* end up graduating, but that was more of an accident. Or so I thought at the time.
Now, even after prodding my friends to the point of frustration about what happened I'm still pretty hazy on the details. The short of it is that I was being my loudmouthed self and pissed off (and, according to some versions of the story, possibly on property or the person of) a gypsy fortune teller who was understandably... Pissed. A few *incidents* and a lot of careful testing later I was convinced that there is at least some truth to all the tales about gypsy curses.
As a curse, it's a mixed thing. Essentially what it does is that my words quite literally have power. To a scary degree. But it only works if I manage to convince someone to do something. The scary part is that the "convince" and "something" seem to be defined pretty loosely. That point got driven home after I realized what happened with Robbie was my fault. Apparently jokingly telling him to *"eat it and choke on it"* when he complained about the burger I treated him to at the local fast food joint counted for both.
Of course I didn't realize it at the time. It took several *incidents* for it to slowly dawn on me what was happening. Not that they were all bad! Just look at Kevin: looking at him now you wouldn't believe that the WWE heavy weight champion used to be a couch potato who spent way too much time watching grown men play-fight. Guess it pays to follow your dreams.
Or how about Clark "Superman" Ghent? The biggest nerd I've ever known. Always going on about this or that superhero, never had a date in his life. Of course the one time I managed to convince him to join a party he fell in love on a first sight with the hottest girl on the campus. Well, turns out telling him to *"just go for it, what do you have to lose?"* was one of the better advice I've ever given. Whatever he lost, he didn't miss. The wedding on the other hand... Well, that was the last time I got drunk. Apparently telling old folks to *"not stop till you drop"* wasn't the brightest idea I've ever had, no matter how much fun they had while it lasted.
As for me actually graduating despite spending majority of my time in university drunk, passed out or hungover... I guess I have my curse to thank for that one, too. It would seem pleading the professor to help me graduate worked. Not only that, I graduated with honors.
That is not to say I didn't work my ass off in that last year. Apparently my curse works in mysterious ways. Not only did the professor spend a lot of extra time coaching me: after actually listening to his lectures rather than sleeping off my hangovers during them I suddenly lost any and all urge to party, instead hitting the books until I dropped day in day out. Even if I never intended for it to happen, I damn well earned my grades.
During this last minute push for graduation I met Karen. Initially I was quite surprised that I had no recollection of her considering we were in the same program. Turns out she had been in most of my classes, often even quite close, but I had been too busy sleeping off my hangovers to notice. My sudden change in attitude - and the results I was showing - had piqued her interest. What happened next is still bit of a blur to me. Apparently asking her to *"help me with a problem of mine"* led her to *"listen to my story"*, a request to *"make me a better person"* and finally a *"until death does us part"*.
All in all, the reader better believe this story ends in *"happily ever after"*.
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Jimmy Jones was known as a boring, nerdy person, but not because he likes to play video games all the time, not because he's fat, but because he always tries to talk people into things. He never really managed to, but one day when he was cramming for a test and was destined to fail, he said something along the lines of "hey, can I have your answers?" to the smartest kid in the class, who jokingly agreed. Little did the smart boy know, Jimmy wasn't a normal person. He had a power to command people to complete what ever task they wanted, all they had to do was agree. He ended up being accused of cheating after this had happened twice, resulting in him being expelled from his school. At the time, he was unaware of this power, and his parents raged at him, saying things like "DO YOU WANT TO BE DISOWNED?", and a pissed off little Jimmy said yes. He was on the street for months, and got caught stealing one time. He was sent to prison with attempted robbery, and talked himself right the fuck out of there. And this, my friends, is how the number one most wanted fugitive, slippin' jimmy, was born.
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[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
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"What? Look, no, that's not how it works Francis."
I shook my head and reclined again in a futile attempt to get comfortable. I could hear Francis breathing through his mouth again, I knew the question was coming again....
"But why not Jimmy? We's all seen you do it on the TeeVee, and and when you talked that pirate into punching out the hulk."
Ah, that was a great trick. Convincing little Morgan that he wanted to feed Brooks Hogan his fist. It went as smoothly as it always does. But that was off topic
I slowly brew a breath out. This wasn't Francis's fault, the warden had figured it out. I girded myself for another long explanation.
"Ok Francis, the gypsy told me this: three W's; No willing, no wagers, no waivers."
"But Jimmy" Francis said in a very serious voice. "I totally don't want to do what we talked about." Goddamn warden had figured me out and had saddle me with the simplest man he could find. He might have been guilty of some pretty heinous things but there just wasn't much avarice to him.
"Ok, but you are willing. I can't talk you into something that you are willing to do, get it?"
Shh, I wasn't going to gear any more protestations until I finished the spiel.
"I can't make a wager, you know... a bet? I can't bet you that you won't do it to get you to do something. Finally, I can't make any side promises at all. I can't tell you it'll totally work. You have to be an unwilling participant that I trick into doing something that isn't a bet. Can't be your idea at all."
I swear I could hear the gears stripping in the bunk below me. I felt a little bad, I knew Francis wanted to be talked into breaking out, but it literally was beyond my one trick.
I guess I zoned out because I had to ask him to repeat it.
"Well like what if you tried to talk me into something I didn't want to do. Like learning something."
"But you'd have to be totally unwilling to do it, you can't tell me something you don't want to do and then let me talk you into it... can you?"
Within a week Francis had his GED, smelled less, and was confusedly eating vegetables. I had never considered using my powers for good. I knew I could work the angles and use it for my crooked plans, I just wasn't sure how yet.
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Ok I've wanted to try this for awhile and this is my first stab at it. Be gentle?
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I had always believed myself to live in a world of super heroes. At first a childhood fantasy of fighting monsters and villains, but later an almost obsession to prove that supernatural phenomena existed. My friends would pretend to be a super team of color coded heroes, or cowboys ranging the open plains, or mutant aliens with martial arts expertise. We would rotate being the villain, sometimes doing crossover battles of heroes depending on how many kids were at the playground when we played. When I got older, I developed what I later learned to be called Chuunibyou in Japanese, but was just called "awkward pre-teen years" when I was in middle school.
I witnessed my first super power in middle school when I was playing a collectible card game. It featured planes walkers who summoned monsters and cast spells at each other. I was winning and my opponent was getting frustrated. At the time, my "super power" was the ability to draw key cards from my deck in my opening hand; by hiding them under my sleeve until the game started. He hadn't noticed and I finally had enough points to put my trump cards into play, taunting him by asking him to try to strike down my monster with a lightning bolt.
"I don't have a lighting bolt in my hand. ... But I do have a fire ball!"
"I dare you to try and kill my monster with a fireball."
He turned the requisite resource cards for the spell and readied it in his other hand, then flicked the card at me. Before our very eyes the card burst into a ball of flame and struck me straight in the chest! My shirt was ruined and our game was over, but I finally found somebody with super powers. At first we decided to keep it a secret. I would suggest something for him to burn, and we played around with different fire attacks like darts and ropes just to see what could be done. It was amazing for a while, a short while. He told me that he was losing his power. He was trying to show his cousin earlier and nothing happened. He said that it was probably like a battery and he was out of juice. I couldn't convince him to even try, and I never saw him playing with fire ever again.
A couple years later, in high school, I met a kid who claimed he could punch through a brick wall. We got into some trouble for goofing off in class and were sent outside for punishment. He was telling me all about this secret martial arts technique he learned from a Japanese comic book, they were called Manga over there, and I had to see it to believe it. At first he didn't want to show me, because it was really destructive and so I just played along like he wasn't the biggest idiot with a Japan fetish. Then this Asian girl with a hall pass walked by.
"Hey Akane, did you know that Ryoga here has mastered the buck's eye ten cuts technique?"
Her name wasn't Akane and she was not impressed with the racist comparison to anime characters. But my friend had a crush on her and decided that this was his chance to make her laugh. He wound his arm up real big...
"Oh no! Ryoga is going to punch so hard that this stone pillar is gonna get smashed!"
He moved at half speed, I dodged like it mattered. As soon as his knuckles touched the pillar, a spiderweb of cracks spread over its surface. A moment later it exploded like a water balloon with a dull thump.
"Oh frack! Quick clean this up before anyone notices!"
I didn't notice how worried he was about getting caught for destruction of school property, but "Ryoga" made it happen with very little help from me. We somehow managed to grab all the rubble and put it nearby garbage cans before the teacher came out. Our friend "Akane" was long gone though, I doubt she wanted any part of what happened.
I discovered new super heroes in a similar accidental manner over the next few years. But their powers were never reliable. Sometimes I could coax them into breaking or making something, but usually they refused to accept their unique abilities and would hide them from the world. It was selfish. It should have been criminal. They had been blessed with something special, and they refused to exercise that potential. I slowly began to realize that the world was a dark and lonely place without hope.
Went to drinking parties at uni. Huge ragers that everyone regularly attended. At the time, was still on the look out for super powered people, hadn't given up on humanity yet. Found a freshman pumping kegs like a hero, told him that's how foam happens. Asked if planned to drink a whole keg himself. Guy does a handstand on keg then drinks until it runs dry. Huge hero, but just another selfish display of hedonism and gluttony. Met a pretty girl later. Was told she needed to throttle her intake because she was a light weight. Joked with her that the "bartender" watered down the drinks and that she'd be fine. Managed to drink three frat boys under the table before excusing herself to the little girls room. Another stealth hero who would never realize she could be immune to poison or something. Met a closet genius in math class. Claimed he couldn't understand the material. Suggested studying all night if so worried about failing class. Couldn't fail an exam if he tried the whole rest of semester. Would have been a boon to science and society if applied himself earlier in life. Fear and sloth held him back instead. Found a student in tears at back of library once. Says he's depressed. Life seems harsh, and cruel. Says he feels all alone in threatening world. I tell him solution is simple, the class clown - Pagliacci - has studies on Wednesdays. It should pick up his spirits if he sees him. Guy breaks into tears anew, exclaims "I am Pagliacci!" Tragedy that he could help others but not himself.
June 21st, 2017: Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This world shuns me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood. When those drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown in their accumulated filth of apathy and indifference. They will collectively look to each other and then to me asking for heroes to save them, but I will whisper in return, "no".
Now patrolling internet forums and message boards for like minded friends. For honest men and women who can't be bought, bullied, reasoned nor negotiated with. People who just want to watch the world burn.
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[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
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STV NEWS INTRO We interrupt this broadcast to bring you breaking news. A group of high school students are being held hostage inside the Seattle library by group of individuals claiming to be from the terrorism group EYE. At the moment we have not received an official comment, but it seems negotiations are at a standstill. We have yet to confirm the group’s agenda and the meaning of this hostile takeover of the library, we’ll have more for you in the coming hours here at STV News.
Well shit. This is what, the third incident in the last six months? I should probably go now if I want a chance at beating traffic. This was going to be tricky though, how do I convince a terrorism group to let their hostages go and surrender to the feds? My superpower doesn’t necessarily provide any physical advantages and if the person doesn’t want to be convinced then I’m rendered useless. Either way, they have kids I have to try and do something. I grabbed my keys and headed out the door. I lived alone in a one bedroom apartment, nothing fancy but it was cozy.
“Spare change sir” whispered a homeless man.
“Sorry I don’t have much” I replied searching through my pockets. This isn’t the time for this.
Curse my humanity. I knelt in front of the bearded fellow.
“Listen, if want to turn your life around you can. Believe in a future where you aren’t the guy on the street, but the light that leads this homeless community out of the dark.”
The man gave me a blank stare. Extremely cheesy but it was worth a shot. A big red library sign was going off in my head like an alarm. Terrorists and hostages, right.
Luckily it didn’t take long to get to the library. I parked a block away; two hour parking should be enough. As I made my way to the library a crowd had already gathered around the architectural wonder. The newly created Seattle library was as beautiful as ever. It has glass windows all around with a curved stairway that leads to the top floor with various platforms branching out like stems for each floor. The “Tree of Knowledge” they called it in the papers. Any other day I would have stayed a little longer to appreciate it, but there was no time to waste. I pushed my way through the crowd of people eager to get a glimpse of the action. It was a social media gold mine for them, pretty shallow considering the lives at stake.
I managed to squeeze my way to the front. I was met by an officer.
“Sir you can’t be here, it’s a restricted area,” the officer spoke with a stern voice.
“I understand, but I really need to get inside I can help”. I don’t know who I was trying to convince with that line.
“I’m sorry, but this is a hostage situation not a Black Friday sale please step aside.”
He wasn’t going to make this easy.
“Listen… uh Officer Behdunk is it?”
“It’s pronounced Bay-dunk.”
Oops.
“Okay Bay-dunk, this is going to sound crazy but I have the super ability to make people achieve the impossible as long as they are convinced and believe in what I say completely.”
The officer gave me one of those, this guy is definitely on crack look. He smirked, “Yeah and I have the super ability to mold mud into hamburgers, get your high ass out of here.. sir.”
An audible scream pierced the air.
“LOOK” screamed a random lady in the crowd.
A masked individual had a boy in his left arm with a pistol rested on the boy’s temple, he was slowly approaching the library entrance.
Things just got out of hand, there was no time for me to get in there and do any sort of talking. I turned to Officer Bay-dunk, the crowd was starting to panic.
“Officer Bay-dunk, there’s no time. If you don’t let me through that kid is going to be shot and his blood will be on YOUR hands.”
The man in the mask stopped at the entrance.
The officer responded “Listen, we’ve got snipers on both buildings and an entire SWAT tactical team on standby. There is nothing to worry about.”
The masked man stepped out with the kid dragging along. He began to speak, “This is a message for every single one of you who is blind to world around you. Change is coming, consider this the start.”
I could hear the radio comms going crazy.
“He’s gonna shoot, take him out NOW!”
A loud bang rang out, so loud it put you in a state of shock. But the gun shot didn’t sound like it came from a distance, that’s when I saw the boy’s body slump to the ground.
There was widespread panic.
The officer was clearly in state of shock as well. I grabbed him by the shoulders.
“HEY, you need to listen right now. We need to do something about these terrorists guys. Clearly the tactical squad hasn’t achieved anything.”
The officer still clearly dazed responded “I… I don’t know what you want me to do.”
In a moment of unfiltered anger, I gave him my best Any Given Sunday pep talk.
“You need to wake the fuck up right now. A kid is dead, but there are several
more inside that need somebody. Now, more than ever. YOU can do something about it. I told you before, I can help people achieve the impossible. I need you to grab a rifle, whatever gear you need and kill every last one of those garbage eating fanatics.”
I wasn’t getting through to him.
“Listen, you look old enough to have kids. Someone’s son is dead. I would be exaggerating if I said it was your fault. It’s not. But, right now you have an opportunity to be the hero. You signed up to be a cop for this moment. To protect those that can’t defend themselves. To be a shield.”
Officer Bay-dunk nodded. “You’re right. Something has to be done before more kids are killed.”
Good I was getting through to him.
“Listen very closely, every word you hear from me. Internalize them and make them your reality. Got it?”
Bay-dunk nodded.
“You are an unstoppable force of nature. You are not only the strongest man alive, but the bravest man to ever walk this earth. Nothing can stand in your way. You will succeed, now go”.
And that’s how got a local library security officer to single handedly eliminate six terrorist goons and save the lives of five teenagers.
|
I think I was too paranoid in the beginning. I was so worried that people would reject us because we didn't belong, even if we couldn't fail.
But we did belong.
I sought him out first. I realized my power early, I could make anyone succeed simply by convincing them to try. At first I was stuck in the small time. I was a nobody who barely knew anybody, and who could I convince in that position? Still, I tried to make everyone do something great. Spread the wealth, you know? I quickly realized how much more I could do if instead I found someone great to do everything.
It was still back when I wanted things to stay a secret. So not only did I want to find someone laid back enough to try whatever I suggested, but charming enough that people would accept that this person could do anything without asking too many questions at first.
Make no mistake, fame was always the goal. I insisted we started small and work our way up, to make our accomplishments seem normal. We put on a show, people laughed and cheered. The people loved him, but they liked me too. Turned out my years of obsessing over convincing people turned me into a passable actor. Ok, I really wasn't, but expectations were low. I was finding myself surrounded by talent as my fame grew, and while I wasn't at the level of my peers I think people could see I was getting better and I just wasn't ready to be a headliner yet.
But damn, my partner-in-crime sure was. People loved him, like I told him they would. We both lived out our dreams through him. He wanted to be a rockstar, so I told him to sing a song, strum a few chords, and sell out arenas. He wanted to be an athlete, so I told him people would come to see him play basketball, hockey, football, golf, whatever he wanted. An actor? Sure, he could do it. Never mind the fact that he wasn't very good at any of these things; people liked what I told him they would like.
We got bigger and bigger, but of course it came with drawbacks. People were starting to complain I was riding coat tails, and that he wasn't talented enough to warrant his popularity. I could see the cracks in the secret forming, but at that point I couldn't bring myself to care. We'd gained so much that couldn't be taken away. I had money, I had a family. My kids would never have trouble with anything as long as I was their dad. And even if the critics won and my fame turned to infamy, I'd never be small time again.
Before we grew apart, I relished the time we spent together. He was nothing if not loyal. He stuck with me long after he needed me. He never rubbed it in my face when I needed him. We just don't need each other anymore, and that's ok. We still talk occasionally, and I get it. He wants to see what he can do on his own, and I'm kind of past that point myself. I'm a little old for that, even if I do have more people listening to me now.
Things went well. They went well.
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[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
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I couldn't mess up this job. I was underqualified. I'd just walked into the winning building of eenie meanie minie moe and convinced them to give me an interview.
The interview had gone well. I knew that if I'd just managed to convince them to give me a shot, I'd be in. It was the convincing that was the real problem.
See, things that I said had a tendency to happen, but only if wasn't the one to do them.
Advicemancy, my friends in high school had called it, jokingly. They never really believed, but I saw what happened when someone listened to me.
When I told Sherri Germain in the second grade that juggling was cool and she could be the best at it, she gave it a shot. She tours the world now, juggling everything from cats to chainsaws. She was on the cover of Time. Jay Leno interviewed her.
When I told a homeless man that he should get clean and follow his dreams, he did. I saw him on TV at the Grammy's. I don't think he's a good rapper, but everyone else sure does.
And when I told my now current boss that if he'd hire me I'd make the best damn assistant he'd ever seen, he seemed to like my spunk. I got the job. Nevermind that my spunk was a combination of caffiene, fear, and desperation.
With a gift like this, you think everything would be easy for me. "Just talk someone into buying you a lottery ticket! Talk Robert Downey Jr. Into leaving his wife for you! Talk Isreal into making peace with Palestine!" And sure, I'd do all that if I had any clue HOW.
I think I just wake people up. That what I convince them to do, they already want, and I just nudge them towards it. The things I say aren't special. But sometimes people listen and sometimes they don't, and I never know if I said the right thing and it's a big mess. Sometimes I can just...feel it. Feel that they listened, feel that it's gonna happen for them. Sometimes it's a good feeling. Sometimes it's not. I'm responsible for the renaissance of juggling. I'm also responsible for MC Dizzee V@gr@nt, and all his horrible, horrible music.
So I decided this was the last time, this interview. I'd get a good job, I'd keep my head down, and I'd keep my opinion to myself. It was the only way to stay sane.
And I followed that. I brought the boss coffee in his tacky gold and wood office, and when he asked what I thought, I shook my head and said it wasn't my place. Sometimes he seemed annoyed so I'd ask what he thought. He always loved to share that.
"What do you think of Obama?" He asked one day as he sawed at a steak. I knew his opinion, so I tried not to get riled up. I shook my head meekly and put down a ketchup bottle.
"I don't know much about politics," I answered.
He grunted. "Seems that we should have a real American in office," he said, pronouncing the capital 'A'. "Don't you think?"
"Well," I answered carefully. "He is, isn't he?"
My boss snorted. "That's what they want you to think. He's a commie. They try to make you think that that's the 'cool' thing now, but it's all about control, okay? Commie lame fuck. We need a real leader who looks put for real Americans like us."
I said it before I could stop myself. I don't know if it was irritation, ass-kissing, sarcasm or some combination, but I felt that familar MC Dizzee V@gr@nt feeling all over again. "Maybe you should run for President."
Mr. Trump's brow furrowed, then raised. "Huh."
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I think I was too paranoid in the beginning. I was so worried that people would reject us because we didn't belong, even if we couldn't fail.
But we did belong.
I sought him out first. I realized my power early, I could make anyone succeed simply by convincing them to try. At first I was stuck in the small time. I was a nobody who barely knew anybody, and who could I convince in that position? Still, I tried to make everyone do something great. Spread the wealth, you know? I quickly realized how much more I could do if instead I found someone great to do everything.
It was still back when I wanted things to stay a secret. So not only did I want to find someone laid back enough to try whatever I suggested, but charming enough that people would accept that this person could do anything without asking too many questions at first.
Make no mistake, fame was always the goal. I insisted we started small and work our way up, to make our accomplishments seem normal. We put on a show, people laughed and cheered. The people loved him, but they liked me too. Turned out my years of obsessing over convincing people turned me into a passable actor. Ok, I really wasn't, but expectations were low. I was finding myself surrounded by talent as my fame grew, and while I wasn't at the level of my peers I think people could see I was getting better and I just wasn't ready to be a headliner yet.
But damn, my partner-in-crime sure was. People loved him, like I told him they would. We both lived out our dreams through him. He wanted to be a rockstar, so I told him to sing a song, strum a few chords, and sell out arenas. He wanted to be an athlete, so I told him people would come to see him play basketball, hockey, football, golf, whatever he wanted. An actor? Sure, he could do it. Never mind the fact that he wasn't very good at any of these things; people liked what I told him they would like.
We got bigger and bigger, but of course it came with drawbacks. People were starting to complain I was riding coat tails, and that he wasn't talented enough to warrant his popularity. I could see the cracks in the secret forming, but at that point I couldn't bring myself to care. We'd gained so much that couldn't be taken away. I had money, I had a family. My kids would never have trouble with anything as long as I was their dad. And even if the critics won and my fame turned to infamy, I'd never be small time again.
Before we grew apart, I relished the time we spent together. He was nothing if not loyal. He stuck with me long after he needed me. He never rubbed it in my face when I needed him. We just don't need each other anymore, and that's ok. We still talk occasionally, and I get it. He wants to see what he can do on his own, and I'm kind of past that point myself. I'm a little old for that, even if I do have more people listening to me now.
Things went well. They went well.
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[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
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"Uuuurrggg. Eric, can you convince me to not be hung over?"
That's my roommate, Blanca. She's a bit of a party animal. So am I, for that matter, but I know my limit.
"No," I reply, "You know I don't like to abuse my powers."
"Powers, smowers," She rebuts in a very mature manner. "It's not like you can fly, or anything."
"Okay, fine," I say, as she smirks.
"Wait, what are you doing?"
"Hmm? Oh, I'm looking something up on Wikipedia."
"I thought you said you were going to help me with my headache?"
"Mhm. Hey, did you know that ducks can't get headaches?"
"Oh, how I wis- Wait! No! Not ag- QUACK!"
Blanca sat there, as a duck, glaring at me for all she/it was worth.
"Well, I've got class. Maybe I'll convince you not to be ungrateful, later!"
|
I think I was too paranoid in the beginning. I was so worried that people would reject us because we didn't belong, even if we couldn't fail.
But we did belong.
I sought him out first. I realized my power early, I could make anyone succeed simply by convincing them to try. At first I was stuck in the small time. I was a nobody who barely knew anybody, and who could I convince in that position? Still, I tried to make everyone do something great. Spread the wealth, you know? I quickly realized how much more I could do if instead I found someone great to do everything.
It was still back when I wanted things to stay a secret. So not only did I want to find someone laid back enough to try whatever I suggested, but charming enough that people would accept that this person could do anything without asking too many questions at first.
Make no mistake, fame was always the goal. I insisted we started small and work our way up, to make our accomplishments seem normal. We put on a show, people laughed and cheered. The people loved him, but they liked me too. Turned out my years of obsessing over convincing people turned me into a passable actor. Ok, I really wasn't, but expectations were low. I was finding myself surrounded by talent as my fame grew, and while I wasn't at the level of my peers I think people could see I was getting better and I just wasn't ready to be a headliner yet.
But damn, my partner-in-crime sure was. People loved him, like I told him they would. We both lived out our dreams through him. He wanted to be a rockstar, so I told him to sing a song, strum a few chords, and sell out arenas. He wanted to be an athlete, so I told him people would come to see him play basketball, hockey, football, golf, whatever he wanted. An actor? Sure, he could do it. Never mind the fact that he wasn't very good at any of these things; people liked what I told him they would like.
We got bigger and bigger, but of course it came with drawbacks. People were starting to complain I was riding coat tails, and that he wasn't talented enough to warrant his popularity. I could see the cracks in the secret forming, but at that point I couldn't bring myself to care. We'd gained so much that couldn't be taken away. I had money, I had a family. My kids would never have trouble with anything as long as I was their dad. And even if the critics won and my fame turned to infamy, I'd never be small time again.
Before we grew apart, I relished the time we spent together. He was nothing if not loyal. He stuck with me long after he needed me. He never rubbed it in my face when I needed him. We just don't need each other anymore, and that's ok. We still talk occasionally, and I get it. He wants to see what he can do on his own, and I'm kind of past that point myself. I'm a little old for that, even if I do have more people listening to me now.
Things went well. They went well.
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[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
STV NEWS INTRO We interrupt this broadcast to bring you breaking news. A group of high school students are being held hostage inside the Seattle library by group of individuals claiming to be from the terrorism group EYE. At the moment we have not received an official comment, but it seems negotiations are at a standstill. We have yet to confirm the group’s agenda and the meaning of this hostile takeover of the library, we’ll have more for you in the coming hours here at STV News.
Well shit. This is what, the third incident in the last six months? I should probably go now if I want a chance at beating traffic. This was going to be tricky though, how do I convince a terrorism group to let their hostages go and surrender to the feds? My superpower doesn’t necessarily provide any physical advantages and if the person doesn’t want to be convinced then I’m rendered useless. Either way, they have kids I have to try and do something. I grabbed my keys and headed out the door. I lived alone in a one bedroom apartment, nothing fancy but it was cozy.
“Spare change sir” whispered a homeless man.
“Sorry I don’t have much” I replied searching through my pockets. This isn’t the time for this.
Curse my humanity. I knelt in front of the bearded fellow.
“Listen, if want to turn your life around you can. Believe in a future where you aren’t the guy on the street, but the light that leads this homeless community out of the dark.”
The man gave me a blank stare. Extremely cheesy but it was worth a shot. A big red library sign was going off in my head like an alarm. Terrorists and hostages, right.
Luckily it didn’t take long to get to the library. I parked a block away; two hour parking should be enough. As I made my way to the library a crowd had already gathered around the architectural wonder. The newly created Seattle library was as beautiful as ever. It has glass windows all around with a curved stairway that leads to the top floor with various platforms branching out like stems for each floor. The “Tree of Knowledge” they called it in the papers. Any other day I would have stayed a little longer to appreciate it, but there was no time to waste. I pushed my way through the crowd of people eager to get a glimpse of the action. It was a social media gold mine for them, pretty shallow considering the lives at stake.
I managed to squeeze my way to the front. I was met by an officer.
“Sir you can’t be here, it’s a restricted area,” the officer spoke with a stern voice.
“I understand, but I really need to get inside I can help”. I don’t know who I was trying to convince with that line.
“I’m sorry, but this is a hostage situation not a Black Friday sale please step aside.”
He wasn’t going to make this easy.
“Listen… uh Officer Behdunk is it?”
“It’s pronounced Bay-dunk.”
Oops.
“Okay Bay-dunk, this is going to sound crazy but I have the super ability to make people achieve the impossible as long as they are convinced and believe in what I say completely.”
The officer gave me one of those, this guy is definitely on crack look. He smirked, “Yeah and I have the super ability to mold mud into hamburgers, get your high ass out of here.. sir.”
An audible scream pierced the air.
“LOOK” screamed a random lady in the crowd.
A masked individual had a boy in his left arm with a pistol rested on the boy’s temple, he was slowly approaching the library entrance.
Things just got out of hand, there was no time for me to get in there and do any sort of talking. I turned to Officer Bay-dunk, the crowd was starting to panic.
“Officer Bay-dunk, there’s no time. If you don’t let me through that kid is going to be shot and his blood will be on YOUR hands.”
The man in the mask stopped at the entrance.
The officer responded “Listen, we’ve got snipers on both buildings and an entire SWAT tactical team on standby. There is nothing to worry about.”
The masked man stepped out with the kid dragging along. He began to speak, “This is a message for every single one of you who is blind to world around you. Change is coming, consider this the start.”
I could hear the radio comms going crazy.
“He’s gonna shoot, take him out NOW!”
A loud bang rang out, so loud it put you in a state of shock. But the gun shot didn’t sound like it came from a distance, that’s when I saw the boy’s body slump to the ground.
There was widespread panic.
The officer was clearly in state of shock as well. I grabbed him by the shoulders.
“HEY, you need to listen right now. We need to do something about these terrorists guys. Clearly the tactical squad hasn’t achieved anything.”
The officer still clearly dazed responded “I… I don’t know what you want me to do.”
In a moment of unfiltered anger, I gave him my best Any Given Sunday pep talk.
“You need to wake the fuck up right now. A kid is dead, but there are several
more inside that need somebody. Now, more than ever. YOU can do something about it. I told you before, I can help people achieve the impossible. I need you to grab a rifle, whatever gear you need and kill every last one of those garbage eating fanatics.”
I wasn’t getting through to him.
“Listen, you look old enough to have kids. Someone’s son is dead. I would be exaggerating if I said it was your fault. It’s not. But, right now you have an opportunity to be the hero. You signed up to be a cop for this moment. To protect those that can’t defend themselves. To be a shield.”
Officer Bay-dunk nodded. “You’re right. Something has to be done before more kids are killed.”
Good I was getting through to him.
“Listen very closely, every word you hear from me. Internalize them and make them your reality. Got it?”
Bay-dunk nodded.
“You are an unstoppable force of nature. You are not only the strongest man alive, but the bravest man to ever walk this earth. Nothing can stand in your way. You will succeed, now go”.
And that’s how got a local library security officer to single handedly eliminate six terrorist goons and save the lives of five teenagers.
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"Please man, just go and get those fries for free. Believe me it will work. That girl's totally into you, she will give them right away." As I was trying to persuade my friend Ned to get the fries from the blond girl at the cash register of our local burger joint, for which we didn't have the money for, he was busy checking the girl at the counter.
"How do you know that, huh? How? Look at her, she is just looking at her phone."
"Probably stalking you, man. Not probably, definitely stalking you. Look at those eyes, look at that enthusiasm she has. What can it be?" I formed a heart with my hands, like they do in those coke commercials. "Love." He was still checking if she was looking towards us. No, she wasn't.
She was probably not interested in Ned at all. I actually knew the girl from school, whom I took the same class on French with. I had never talked to her but I knew she had a boyfriend. And that she was way out of Ned's league. Still, I just had to persuade him to go get those fries. I was still hungry after those two burgers I ate, mainly because, well I'm always hungry.
"What do you say? Go and try. Believe me, it will be alright. You'll get those fries. It's the best thing you can think of: if she gives them, it means she is interested." After ten minutes of tiring persuasion process, Ned finally seemed at ease about everything. He nodded and without saying a thing stood up.
"I'm gonna go there and get her!"
"What the..." Until I ould say anything he was gone. With some unpreceded self-esteem he approached the cash register and started to cough. I couldn't hear most of the things he said, or she said for that matter, but I was hoping this not to end up in a disaster.
The thing is I wasn't actually playing with my friend, Ned. I knew if he believed in it, he could get those fries for free. I have no explanation for these kinds of stuff but, you know what, I just have this thing with people: since I'm a kid if I persuade someone to do something, they just do it. No questions asked, no obstacles raised, no failures occured. Just like that. My dad got me that Macbook although we had not enough money to afford it; there was a discount as soon as he got in the store, 90% off for no reason. My brother passed the Juliard entrance exams, with an applause from the jury as he told it; he wasn't even going to go there until I talked him into it. "What do you have to lose?" I told him. "Nothing." I answered automatically. He didn't lose anything but won a future. Then there are all the stuff with my friends, including Ned, talking to that girl over there now.
But, this had never happened before. No one got persuaded to something I wasn't trying to persuade them to do. I was using the girl as a bait, but she had become the target. I just hoped watching them talking that it would end up ok for both, and I get my fries in the end.
He seems to lose the grip. She puts her hands to her head, putting the phone on the table. She seems nervous, but I can't see Ned. He must be terrified. He got the message wrong anyway, it wouldn't be my fault if he fucks up. She looks towards me as Ned points my direction. She giggles and nods, goes back to the kitchen. Ned turns to me and does "thumbs up" with both hands. I see his lips moving: "Thank you." I'm kind of shocked, only kind of. So that's how my talent, or power, worked: I never questioned it but what matters wasn't what I want but rather what they get from my persuasive speeches. Who'd have guessed?
So Ned came back with two packs of fries and a phone number written on one of the boxes. Hell it was a good day for both of us. Still, I wasn't sure what had happened to the girl's boyfriend; best to keep my mouth shut. I wouldn't want Ned to think I pushed him there just to get some fries.
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[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
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"Uuuurrggg. Eric, can you convince me to not be hung over?"
That's my roommate, Blanca. She's a bit of a party animal. So am I, for that matter, but I know my limit.
"No," I reply, "You know I don't like to abuse my powers."
"Powers, smowers," She rebuts in a very mature manner. "It's not like you can fly, or anything."
"Okay, fine," I say, as she smirks.
"Wait, what are you doing?"
"Hmm? Oh, I'm looking something up on Wikipedia."
"I thought you said you were going to help me with my headache?"
"Mhm. Hey, did you know that ducks can't get headaches?"
"Oh, how I wis- Wait! No! Not ag- QUACK!"
Blanca sat there, as a duck, glaring at me for all she/it was worth.
"Well, I've got class. Maybe I'll convince you not to be ungrateful, later!"
|
"Please man, just go and get those fries for free. Believe me it will work. That girl's totally into you, she will give them right away." As I was trying to persuade my friend Ned to get the fries from the blond girl at the cash register of our local burger joint, for which we didn't have the money for, he was busy checking the girl at the counter.
"How do you know that, huh? How? Look at her, she is just looking at her phone."
"Probably stalking you, man. Not probably, definitely stalking you. Look at those eyes, look at that enthusiasm she has. What can it be?" I formed a heart with my hands, like they do in those coke commercials. "Love." He was still checking if she was looking towards us. No, she wasn't.
She was probably not interested in Ned at all. I actually knew the girl from school, whom I took the same class on French with. I had never talked to her but I knew she had a boyfriend. And that she was way out of Ned's league. Still, I just had to persuade him to go get those fries. I was still hungry after those two burgers I ate, mainly because, well I'm always hungry.
"What do you say? Go and try. Believe me, it will be alright. You'll get those fries. It's the best thing you can think of: if she gives them, it means she is interested." After ten minutes of tiring persuasion process, Ned finally seemed at ease about everything. He nodded and without saying a thing stood up.
"I'm gonna go there and get her!"
"What the..." Until I ould say anything he was gone. With some unpreceded self-esteem he approached the cash register and started to cough. I couldn't hear most of the things he said, or she said for that matter, but I was hoping this not to end up in a disaster.
The thing is I wasn't actually playing with my friend, Ned. I knew if he believed in it, he could get those fries for free. I have no explanation for these kinds of stuff but, you know what, I just have this thing with people: since I'm a kid if I persuade someone to do something, they just do it. No questions asked, no obstacles raised, no failures occured. Just like that. My dad got me that Macbook although we had not enough money to afford it; there was a discount as soon as he got in the store, 90% off for no reason. My brother passed the Juliard entrance exams, with an applause from the jury as he told it; he wasn't even going to go there until I talked him into it. "What do you have to lose?" I told him. "Nothing." I answered automatically. He didn't lose anything but won a future. Then there are all the stuff with my friends, including Ned, talking to that girl over there now.
But, this had never happened before. No one got persuaded to something I wasn't trying to persuade them to do. I was using the girl as a bait, but she had become the target. I just hoped watching them talking that it would end up ok for both, and I get my fries in the end.
He seems to lose the grip. She puts her hands to her head, putting the phone on the table. She seems nervous, but I can't see Ned. He must be terrified. He got the message wrong anyway, it wouldn't be my fault if he fucks up. She looks towards me as Ned points my direction. She giggles and nods, goes back to the kitchen. Ned turns to me and does "thumbs up" with both hands. I see his lips moving: "Thank you." I'm kind of shocked, only kind of. So that's how my talent, or power, worked: I never questioned it but what matters wasn't what I want but rather what they get from my persuasive speeches. Who'd have guessed?
So Ned came back with two packs of fries and a phone number written on one of the boxes. Hell it was a good day for both of us. Still, I wasn't sure what had happened to the girl's boyfriend; best to keep my mouth shut. I wouldn't want Ned to think I pushed him there just to get some fries.
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[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
I couldn't mess up this job. I was underqualified. I'd just walked into the winning building of eenie meanie minie moe and convinced them to give me an interview.
The interview had gone well. I knew that if I'd just managed to convince them to give me a shot, I'd be in. It was the convincing that was the real problem.
See, things that I said had a tendency to happen, but only if wasn't the one to do them.
Advicemancy, my friends in high school had called it, jokingly. They never really believed, but I saw what happened when someone listened to me.
When I told Sherri Germain in the second grade that juggling was cool and she could be the best at it, she gave it a shot. She tours the world now, juggling everything from cats to chainsaws. She was on the cover of Time. Jay Leno interviewed her.
When I told a homeless man that he should get clean and follow his dreams, he did. I saw him on TV at the Grammy's. I don't think he's a good rapper, but everyone else sure does.
And when I told my now current boss that if he'd hire me I'd make the best damn assistant he'd ever seen, he seemed to like my spunk. I got the job. Nevermind that my spunk was a combination of caffiene, fear, and desperation.
With a gift like this, you think everything would be easy for me. "Just talk someone into buying you a lottery ticket! Talk Robert Downey Jr. Into leaving his wife for you! Talk Isreal into making peace with Palestine!" And sure, I'd do all that if I had any clue HOW.
I think I just wake people up. That what I convince them to do, they already want, and I just nudge them towards it. The things I say aren't special. But sometimes people listen and sometimes they don't, and I never know if I said the right thing and it's a big mess. Sometimes I can just...feel it. Feel that they listened, feel that it's gonna happen for them. Sometimes it's a good feeling. Sometimes it's not. I'm responsible for the renaissance of juggling. I'm also responsible for MC Dizzee V@gr@nt, and all his horrible, horrible music.
So I decided this was the last time, this interview. I'd get a good job, I'd keep my head down, and I'd keep my opinion to myself. It was the only way to stay sane.
And I followed that. I brought the boss coffee in his tacky gold and wood office, and when he asked what I thought, I shook my head and said it wasn't my place. Sometimes he seemed annoyed so I'd ask what he thought. He always loved to share that.
"What do you think of Obama?" He asked one day as he sawed at a steak. I knew his opinion, so I tried not to get riled up. I shook my head meekly and put down a ketchup bottle.
"I don't know much about politics," I answered.
He grunted. "Seems that we should have a real American in office," he said, pronouncing the capital 'A'. "Don't you think?"
"Well," I answered carefully. "He is, isn't he?"
My boss snorted. "That's what they want you to think. He's a commie. They try to make you think that that's the 'cool' thing now, but it's all about control, okay? Commie lame fuck. We need a real leader who looks put for real Americans like us."
I said it before I could stop myself. I don't know if it was irritation, ass-kissing, sarcasm or some combination, but I felt that familar MC Dizzee V@gr@nt feeling all over again. "Maybe you should run for President."
Mr. Trump's brow furrowed, then raised. "Huh."
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I wanted to try something. I wanted to test the limits of my power by seeing if it could be destroyed. So I persuaded her to eliminate it from existence.
Now we both sit her in limbo, waiting to be created.
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[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
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"Uuuurrggg. Eric, can you convince me to not be hung over?"
That's my roommate, Blanca. She's a bit of a party animal. So am I, for that matter, but I know my limit.
"No," I reply, "You know I don't like to abuse my powers."
"Powers, smowers," She rebuts in a very mature manner. "It's not like you can fly, or anything."
"Okay, fine," I say, as she smirks.
"Wait, what are you doing?"
"Hmm? Oh, I'm looking something up on Wikipedia."
"I thought you said you were going to help me with my headache?"
"Mhm. Hey, did you know that ducks can't get headaches?"
"Oh, how I wis- Wait! No! Not ag- QUACK!"
Blanca sat there, as a duck, glaring at me for all she/it was worth.
"Well, I've got class. Maybe I'll convince you not to be ungrateful, later!"
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I wanted to try something. I wanted to test the limits of my power by seeing if it could be destroyed. So I persuaded her to eliminate it from existence.
Now we both sit her in limbo, waiting to be created.
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[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
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I would never have become a super hero had it not been that book from Robert Cialdini.
My test of my superpowers started off kind of strange. Me and Nikey -he's a new buddy of mine- we had this trip to Vegas and were chilling at the MGM playing black jack and slots and flirting with the staff.
You know, normal stuff.
Finally, I had to test my power with Nikey. So I said to Nikey, "Hey Nikey, ask the bartender for a top shelf drink on the house."
"What?" said Nikey.
"Just ask him," I said, "It'll happen if you ask him."
"why?"
"Go ask because," I said.
That's the word. That's word because. Don't need no reason, just because. Just ask Robert Cialdini.
Any Nikey comes back with a top shelf Vodka drink -Jewel of Russia. That's the good stuff. We'd never had it before so we return to one of the blackjack tables. There were open tables, but I wanted to do one that was full. Two huge white guys with cowboy hats. Looked from texas. Kind of guys who get into fights over who is most redneck.
"Hey Nikey," I said, "ask those two guys next to those two girls to walk to the next casino."
"so we can share the table with the girls?"
"Yeah that's the idea," I said, "and it will happen because."
Sure enough these guys left the table, though before they left I had an idea.
"Hey Nikey," I said, "ask these guys for their chips."
"You're crazy!" he said.
"Hasn't everything gone well so far?" I said.
Nikey nodded and made the request. We started our night off with about four hundred dollars worth of chips right then. Nikey was astonished.
"Hey Nikey," I said as we kept playing, "ask these girls to show us all of their cards."
Soon we were winning each round. Came up to one thousand each.
"Hey girls," I said, "we're know we cleaned you out, but maybe we can make it up to you. Care to hit up the club at the Luxor. Drinks on us."
Yeah, you can expect these girls weren't having it. Crossed arms and downcast glances.
"Want me to ask them?" said Nikey.
Okay, so I'm only sort of persuasive and I'm definitely not that charming, but this super power of mine could have these girls in our hotel room after a romp in a club. I wondered if I could use that little "hey Nikey" power to make them like us. I mean, like really like us. 'Hey Nikey, make these girls have feelings for us' could do it? I dunno.
I wonder if I did that if it would actually be wrong.
Then again, stealing from rich texans is one thing. Going full on Killgrave... that's another.
"Hey Nikey," I said, "let's go to the Sapphire instead."
"What?" said Nikey as he pulled me aside, "Hey man, everything you've asked me to do happened. You want me to ask these girls out or not?"
"I uhh..." I said.
"Come on," persisted Nikey getting all up in face, "we've done everything so far. Just let's keep doing it again."
By now the girls walked away from the table.
"Nikey..." I said. Then I thought back to Robert Cialdini. You see, this book he wrote, said that you can make anyone do something if you keep up consistency. You get someone to do small things first, than gradually get them to do big things. It's kind of like brainwashing I guess.
Puts you in an awkward position when you start getting all inconsistent though.
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I wanted to try something. I wanted to test the limits of my power by seeing if it could be destroyed. So I persuaded her to eliminate it from existence.
Now we both sit her in limbo, waiting to be created.
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[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
Absurdity. Never underestimate the power of a crazy idea. They saw it. They all saw it, Buddha, Hitler, Trump, Tesla, and more, thousands more. I see it too. I mean look at our world. Pick up two pieces of rock, hard and unyielding, and smash them together and you get a spark. From the coldest stone comes 5000 degrees flying of into the night with just a small flick of the wrist. Get that spark to land on a dry plant, a living being striving to expand and grow, and you get an inferno. Isn't that just ape shit crazy?
Look, look, look, it's like some. Kid made it up
Rock plus rock equals spark. Spark plus plants equals fire. Fire burns plants and melts rock. That's what it's all about, a cosmic children's game and we are stuck in the middle, wondering when Victor the 5 year old will get bored and kick sand over our existence.
And don't get me started on birds. That's just as crazy. Huge fucking dino monster's are now stupid little chickens. Insane.
Nothing in this world is impossible, nothing. That doesn't mean you can't make predictions or force infinity down a bottleneck. Like right now... You have 3 choices, and only 3. But to show you again what I mean about how everything is, I'm going to tell your future. Pick a path I dare you.
Path 1. You upvote this post. You upvote this post because you though it was charming or whatever and your day is better for reading it. You upvote it and all the rest of the week you feel inspired, and active, and you start tackling the pile of shit you call your life and you get together and you make something out of yourself. You get the ball rolling. And. You. Don't. Stop.
Path 2. You down vote this post. You get a sick little thrill for doing it, but after you do, you will begin evaluating your life and just how Petty you are. After a few days you'll come to the realization that you need a change. And so you will start, and you will grow and progress and bloom. You will become a great driving force in your own life all to make yourself, your family, your city, your world better. And you'll do it to.
Or oath 3. You do nothing. You do nothing. Nothing. And then 6 moths down the road you will realize that that's all you have ever done. Nothing. Stupid, fat, useless, ugly, unfriendly, nothing. Your life a butterfat lies and all you do is eat them up, shit them out, and swallow the same lies all over again. Six months from now you will look in a mirror and decide enough is enough. And you'll change. Not because you have to, but because anything, anything is better than another meal of deceitful cupcakes.
That's my prediction. And it's now your choice, So go ahead. Make a choice. Do it, I dare ya.
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I wanted to try something. I wanted to test the limits of my power by seeing if it could be destroyed. So I persuaded her to eliminate it from existence.
Now we both sit her in limbo, waiting to be created.
|
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[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
"Sally look, I know this year was really hard on you. I know you've been having trouble at home and I know you feel coming to school is a drag, but you can't keep going like this, it'll only get tougher as you grow!"
Sally rolled her eyes, just as she always did. This kid was always getting into trouble, be it hanging out with some shady people behind the school or skipping class. Her life wasn't all cherries and rainbows though. Her dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer two years ago and died last year. As a result her mother had to start working extra hard to provide for her and her older brother. Around that time she started skipping classes. She wasn't the brightest student but she did her job. Average grades, average social life, average everything honestly. But after her father's death everything started plummeting. At first it was her grades. She started failing in math and literature, and after a while her favorite subject, history. After that she started hanging out with sketchy kids outside of school, probably 5 years older than her. After that she stopped hanging out with her old friends, people who she hang out with since childhood.
"Look Mr. Oliver, I know this doesn't mean anything to you and you're just here to get your paycheck, so please leave me alone and get back to grading your shitty tests and stop interfering with my life."
"Sally that's not true and you know that. Look, I know it's hard. I lost someone too when I a bit younger than you. It was my little brother. He was always happy, always smiling and always had a lot of energy.". I started tearing up a bit. "I can still see him sitting in the living room reading that one superman comics I bought him as a birthday present over and over again. He used to hang on this one page with this big panel of superman flying to save someone falling from a building. It wasn't any fancy drawing or anything, just your regular panel. He said that panel looked really cool to him cause that was what superman was for him, saving anyone, even someone he isn't friends with."
Sally sat there in silence listening to my story. I could see a little embarrassment in her look.
"It's fine really, it's not something I tell anybody. It was a long time ago. I never really moved on, and I won't say it gets easier as the years go by, but I try to live for the both of us now."
"If it's not too rude to ask, how did he die?"
My voice cracked a bit. "He fell off the 4th floor balcony of our building". I can still see the red cape he wore that day.
"Look sally, I know it's gonna be hard. I know it hurts right now. I want you to know you can always come and talk to me openly about how you feel. And of course I don't want you flanking out and drifting out there like some kind of a mindless zombie. I'll tell you what. We'll tackle your favorite subject first, History, okay? We can study here together and I'm sure you'll be able to succeed in your exams!"
"Ok Mr. Oliver, but..." she hesitated. "but... can you keep this a secret? I really don't want everyone to know about this".
"Of course I won't! This is between you and me". She quickly got her bag and left. She ran to some of those kids she hangs with, probably told them I was yelling at her for skipping class so much. As I watched her go I saw her turn around and nod to me. That was enough for me to know she's gonna be okay.
I glanced at the clock and noticed it was already 7pm, I packed my belongings and drove home. On the way back I paid a visit to the old playground me and my brother used to play in. The big yellow plastic house was still there, with the big tree next to it and the few slides that already lost their colors from standing too long in the sun. I stood by the house, it had two floors, it was around my height, suited for children to play in. I touched the fading yellow plastic walls. "Remember Sally? I think I got to her today. I know she's a good child but I couldn't really think of a good way to approach her until today. She was a bit feisty at the start but I guess she realizes that she's not in a good place right now, and she doesn't know how to get out of it. I think I can help her. I know I can. I will." After standing there in silence for a few minutes I turned back and went home.
I drove silently thinking back at the time when we were playing together back there, you standing on top of that yellow roof. We were playing pretend and I said to you "if you'll jump you can fly!". The moment your feet left that roof your body just started floating around the tree like it was a rope swing. You were so excited that you could fly you screamed at the top of your lungs "I can fly! I'm Superman!". I was baffled myself at what just happened and honestly I was sure there was some kind of a trick but you really were flying.
I got home and had a letter waiting for me in the mailbox. A former student. Joshua Lenn. He was a bright kid with a bright future ahead of him, he was successful in almost anything he did when he was younger and you could really see the spark in his eyes when he talked about physics.He was from a really strict family. He had a mental breakdown due to huge amount of pressure from his family to be a doctor. He really wanted to go into physics but his parents already has set their mind on him going into medicine. He had a really hard time recovering from that breakdown, his memory started worsening, he was exhausted from morning to evening, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, he was so afraid about his future and what he was going to do with his life, about how he didn't want to live a predetermined life that he had no control over whatsoever that it brought him even further into his developing depression. I remember having long discussions with him after school about life, what it means to be human, what it means to live your own life and where we can go. We could talk about anything from Descartes to Rihana, he especially loved our talks about advancements in the space industry, how one of his big dreams was to work on engines that could take us to other star systems.
I got to my apartment and I opened the letter.
>
> Hi Mr. Oliver
>
> I know it has been about 10 years since I've graduated but I just wanted you to know that I got a job at NASA working on some of their new age engines! These won't take us to other stars but are supposed to help us get to mars sooner!
>
> I opened my yearbook a few weeks ago and as I flipped through the pages I saw your picture as out homeroom teacher.
>
> I remembered all of our long hour talks and I got really nostalgic. I wanted to contact you but I realized you still haven't set up an email address so I wrote you this letter.
>
> I guess I just wanted to say thank you for being there for me.
>
> J.L.
I read the letter with a big smile on my face. I opened my cabinet, revealing other letters, sent by my other students and above them all, the panel with Superman saving the guy from falling off a building.
---
Still trying this thing out, I hope it's good. I tried going more into detail. Any criticism is welcome. Thank you for reading!
*Edit: say to saw in the letter
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I wanted to try something. I wanted to test the limits of my power by seeing if it could be destroyed. So I persuaded her to eliminate it from existence.
Now we both sit her in limbo, waiting to be created.
|
|
[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
"Ffffffeck..." slurred Brian as he negotiated the revolving door outside Manhattan's World Bar. Convincing Will to head to the east side to sample the world's most expensive cocktail hadn't been easy, but Brian found that once he got an assent from Will, it had quickly snowballed into maxxing out Will's corporate card ordering the damned things.
And snowball it did. As Brian stumbled out of the revolving door, he waltzed right into one of Manhattan's most famous real estate developers.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" the developer asked, wiping a mixture of expensive liquor and gold leaf from his startlingly ill-fitting tie. Brian hated it when people who should know better wore their ties hanging over their belt buckle.
Brian swore again, this time catching himself and producing a handkerchief that he tried, unsuccessfully, to use to clean up the man he had just run into.
"Shorry about that, man..." Brian intimated. The man scoffed.
"Heyyyy, you know...I've alwaysh thought you were an ashhole, but you should run for Prrrreshident, Mishter Trump..."
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I wanted to try something. I wanted to test the limits of my power by seeing if it could be destroyed. So I persuaded her to eliminate it from existence.
Now we both sit her in limbo, waiting to be created.
|
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[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
We were both 14 at the time, my best friend Rand and I sat contentedly on the branches of the highest tree in our neighbourhood, while some of the other, more cautious kids looked up in awe from the ground.
“You can see the whole city from here!” I realised, amazed by a view that young me had never seen before.
“I can see my house from here”, Rand quipped, unfazed by the wonders spread below us.
We sat together for a companionable while, but young as we were the novelty gradually wore off. I glanced at the ground, dizzyingly far away and now empty of an audience. Getting down was going to take a while. I glanced over at Rand, and joked “dare you to get to the bottom in less than 5 seconds”.
I didn’t mean it of course, why on earth would I mean something like that? But the challenge in my voice obviously swayed Rand, who gave me a considering look. After a moment the doubt cleared from his face and he broke into a grin, before taking off with a shout: “race you to the bottom!”.
Of course getting to the top of a tree and getting back to the bottom are two completely different things, as anyone who’s ever climbed one will know, so naturally I started down hesitantly, feeling my way with my feet for the steadier branches below, but a cautious glance down took my breath away: there was Rand, hopping lightly from branch to branch as if pulled to each one by a constantly-shifting gravity. I wish I’d timed it, but surely not more than 3 seconds had passed before he took a leap that – realistically – should have broken at least 1 bone and landed feet-first on the ground, grinning up at me and only slightly out of breath.
It took me 2 whole minutes to climb down.
2 days later I got the news: my best friend had tried the same daredevil feat again, but the result had changed. Part of me suspected what had happened, and from then on my fear of a recurrence kept me well away from asking people to do the impossible.
**15 Years On**
Nobody expected it when the troopers crossed the border. There was no way our neighbouring country had declared war on us, was there? Relations were so friendly, it surely had to be some kind of false flag operation. Regardless, their allegiance didn’t matter, what mattered was that our army barely had time to mobilise in defense before the shock troops started marching through our streets, killing soldier and civilians alike. Not knowing what to do but knowing I had to do *something*, I found myself in the streets, looking for a group of our people. Of course I’d served my year of mandatory army service, so I at least knew one end of a weapon from the other, and spotting a barricade of our soldiers I skidded over, grabbing a gun from one of the fallen on arrival. One of the soldiers looked at me dubiously, but obviously accepting how outnumbered they were, accepted my support.
We made our stand there, behind a wall that felt far too flimsy as grenade after grenade flew over us, occasionally hitting the wall or, worse, one of our people. How many grenades did they have?
“This is hopeless!” cried one of the younger soldiers, despairing. “It’s just a matter of time now before we’re all killed, there’s no way we’ll win…it’s impossible”. With that he collapsed heavily against the battered wall and let out a sob.
*Impossible*… the word seemed to whisper to me as if from ages past, and I found myself looking up to find a tree that had been cleared from this block years ago. What had I to lose now?
I turned to the first soldier who’d looked at me, he seemed to be their commander, and gulped. “It may not be impossible, we do have a chance.”
The commander looked at me, sceptical yet open to suggestions.
“You see, I think I have this…ability…when I convince people to try the impossible, they can do it. I don’t know why, but it works.”
“Uh huh”, the commander said, his expression grim, and turned back to the enemy, “well, top marks for trying to bring some humour to the situation at least.”
“I’m being serious, we can really do this! What have we got to lose?”
“And how many times have you tested this…ability?”
I winced, “just once, 15 years ago”.
The commander lobbed a grenade of his own at the enemy. Where had he gotten that? “I’ll tell you what we’ve got to lose, our dignity.”
Another grenade flew at the enemy, met by three of their own. Once again the commander reconsidered. “Alright, convince me to do something, but it’d better work”.
I paused, I’d never actually tested my ability – telling the commander I had hadn’t even been strictly true, that had just happened by chance. How did it work? Would just saying ‘defeat the enemy’ do it? Maybe I had to put a timer on it or something like that. Well, it was worth a shot.
“Uh, dare you to defeat the enemy in 2 minutes or less?”.
He sighed, somehow mixing defeat, determination, and disgust into one sound, before looking at his watch and standing up, machine gun in hand.
To give him credit, he actually took down a fair few of the troopers before taking a bullet himself. He grunted as he fell back behind our barricade. “Knew it was a joke, how much dignity do I still have?”
It was a fool’s hope, and I wondered what had gone wrong. Was the task too impossible, or not impossible enough? Resigned, I put my own weapon above the barricade again and began shooting blind, determined to take as many with me as I could. Out of nowhere, a voice piped up beside me, “you weren’t really joking though, were you?”
I stopped shooting and looked to my side where the frightened soldier from before now crouched, eyes still red and scared, but now with something else I couldn’t identify.
“No”, I sighed, “I wasn’t joking”.
The young soldier poked his head over the barricade to look at the swarm around us, finally moving in for a flanking manoeuvre now that we’d been softened up.
“Tell me to do something then”.
I looked at him, did I really want to be directly responsible for this soldier’s death? Would it matter if he died anyway?
“Ok, we’ll try again, dare you to win this in 2 minutes or less”.
The youngster grinned at me weakly, he couldn’t be more than the minimum recruiting age, and leapt up and over the barricade.
The sight that greeted me when I poked my own head over the barricade burned in my memory forever: the soldier moved easily over, under and around enemy bullets and the explosions of grenades as he fired shot after shot, each finding its mark in an enemy trooper. As he ran out of bullets, he began picking up the unfamiliar weapons of the enemy and using those to devastating effect as well, and while I knew I should be helping, I couldn’t tear my gaze away from the sights I was seeing. It didn’t matter anyway; in 1 minute and 57 seconds, he’d managed to take out an entire platoon.
“I knew it!” he cried triumphantly as he looked back to me, “I knew you were telling the truth!”.
As a breeze blew past me I could almost hear the sound of leaves blowing in the wind, taking me back to that day 15 years ago, and with it a bittersweet truth: the reason Rand had been able to do what he did and bring my ability to life was because of one thing only: he believed in me.
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I wanted to try something. I wanted to test the limits of my power by seeing if it could be destroyed. So I persuaded her to eliminate it from existence.
Now we both sit her in limbo, waiting to be created.
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[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
“You’re a cheat, a fraud!” he shouted, having ducked under my line of security holding off the adoring crowds. He shoved me rudely backwards, and I felt him spit in my face.
The hall went silent, and a thousand camera flashes lit up as my fans started snapping away. Far more common in the early days, not so much now, it had been some time since the last heckler attempted to disrupt my services.
“What’s your name?” I asked, after security had tackled him to the ground, holding him in an arm lock. He stared back defiantly, murder in his eyes.
“I hate people like you,” he seethed, “you prey on the gullible, exploit their dreams, crush their hopes! I hope you burn in hell!”
In the past, I would have begged for him to give me a chance, let me prove myself. I would have trotted out recordings of the precious few times I had successfully applied my powers, shown him that I really could convince people to do the extraordinary, once I managed to persuade them to even try. I would have persisted until my throat was raw, my knees were bruised.
Now, it was much easier. I just had to let him see for himself.
“Who amongst you is afflicted? Who can I help today?” I said, turning to address the crowds. My hands were raised, my voice boomed across the hall.
A hundred, two hundred hands shot up in the air, as applause rang out. The first in line, a young girl in a wheelchair, rolled up to me. I wasn’t a doctor, but I didn’t need to be one to infer from her withered, twisted legs what she was seeking today.
“What’s your name?”
“I’m Grace Natterly, please, please heal me!”
I held her hands, closed my eyes. I felt the rest of the hall slip into a similar reverential mood, and faint murmurings filled the air. Prayer wasn’t exactly necessary, but I let them believe what they wanted. The only disturbance in that whirlpool of peace, was the disbeliever who still struggled on the carpet.
“By the power vested in me, Grace Natterly, I compel you to heal yourself! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up now!”
And she did.
She struggled at first, unused to the motions, then I felt the familiar tingle as my powers took over. No one else could see, but I saw the dancing motes of light swirl in the air, cling to her legs like fireflies. I heard the familiar crick of bones straightening, growing, and I saw the flesh fatten, bulk up with muscle. The deformities melted away, leaving only a completely unremarkable set of legs.
“I… I am healed…” she said, finally, quietly. She was flexing her toes, still swimming in that short flood of euphoria, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes.
The cheers erupted. Her family rushed up to her in celebration, and the others in line pressed forward, hungry, impatient, hopeful.
I turned to my detractor, who had fallen silent. The fight had sapped out of him, and a curious blankness covered his face. I waved away the security holding him down, then leaned in close.
“That’s… that’s impossible,” he said, shaking his head slowly, eyes wide.
“All you need, is a little bit of faith,” I said, smiling as I held out my hand.
---
/r/rarelyfunny
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I wanted to try something. I wanted to test the limits of my power by seeing if it could be destroyed. So I persuaded her to eliminate it from existence.
Now we both sit her in limbo, waiting to be created.
|
|
[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
I couldn't mess up this job. I was underqualified. I'd just walked into the winning building of eenie meanie minie moe and convinced them to give me an interview.
The interview had gone well. I knew that if I'd just managed to convince them to give me a shot, I'd be in. It was the convincing that was the real problem.
See, things that I said had a tendency to happen, but only if wasn't the one to do them.
Advicemancy, my friends in high school had called it, jokingly. They never really believed, but I saw what happened when someone listened to me.
When I told Sherri Germain in the second grade that juggling was cool and she could be the best at it, she gave it a shot. She tours the world now, juggling everything from cats to chainsaws. She was on the cover of Time. Jay Leno interviewed her.
When I told a homeless man that he should get clean and follow his dreams, he did. I saw him on TV at the Grammy's. I don't think he's a good rapper, but everyone else sure does.
And when I told my now current boss that if he'd hire me I'd make the best damn assistant he'd ever seen, he seemed to like my spunk. I got the job. Nevermind that my spunk was a combination of caffiene, fear, and desperation.
With a gift like this, you think everything would be easy for me. "Just talk someone into buying you a lottery ticket! Talk Robert Downey Jr. Into leaving his wife for you! Talk Isreal into making peace with Palestine!" And sure, I'd do all that if I had any clue HOW.
I think I just wake people up. That what I convince them to do, they already want, and I just nudge them towards it. The things I say aren't special. But sometimes people listen and sometimes they don't, and I never know if I said the right thing and it's a big mess. Sometimes I can just...feel it. Feel that they listened, feel that it's gonna happen for them. Sometimes it's a good feeling. Sometimes it's not. I'm responsible for the renaissance of juggling. I'm also responsible for MC Dizzee V@gr@nt, and all his horrible, horrible music.
So I decided this was the last time, this interview. I'd get a good job, I'd keep my head down, and I'd keep my opinion to myself. It was the only way to stay sane.
And I followed that. I brought the boss coffee in his tacky gold and wood office, and when he asked what I thought, I shook my head and said it wasn't my place. Sometimes he seemed annoyed so I'd ask what he thought. He always loved to share that.
"What do you think of Obama?" He asked one day as he sawed at a steak. I knew his opinion, so I tried not to get riled up. I shook my head meekly and put down a ketchup bottle.
"I don't know much about politics," I answered.
He grunted. "Seems that we should have a real American in office," he said, pronouncing the capital 'A'. "Don't you think?"
"Well," I answered carefully. "He is, isn't he?"
My boss snorted. "That's what they want you to think. He's a commie. They try to make you think that that's the 'cool' thing now, but it's all about control, okay? Commie lame fuck. We need a real leader who looks put for real Americans like us."
I said it before I could stop myself. I don't know if it was irritation, ass-kissing, sarcasm or some combination, but I felt that familar MC Dizzee V@gr@nt feeling all over again. "Maybe you should run for President."
Mr. Trump's brow furrowed, then raised. "Huh."
|
"It was a joke," I said, firmly now. "It won't be."
"You know what, why not?" he replied. A light flooded into his eyes as he looked in the distance. It's like that was all it fucking took.
"How hard could it be? Yeah, how hard could it really be? No one ever said it would be easy before but maybe--it probably would be. And besides, you know me, I'm a winner."
Most of the time, I enjoy being the guy who encourages people to do new things. "Thank you so much for pushing me to try" they always say. Without fail. "I knew I had it in me. I just needed some encouragement."
Sure you did.
See, I have this strange ability. If I can talk someone into doing something, they'll succeed. It works great for passions and dreams--all that mushy shit. I'll probably indirectly be responsible for a movie or six because of a the words I've offered to friends, strangers, that truck driver through my car window, etc.
Problem is, it's not *all* positive. I'm not the most convincing son of a bitch. Plus, sometimes I just forget that I can do it since it's rather new. I guess it would also help if I wasn't such a smart ass. Ever ruin a life with a sarcastic comment that you sold a little too well? Yeah, I definitely haven't either...
Anyway, as I shook the author's hand my off-white smile twisted into a shape I never learned in geometry class. My stomach sank. My asshole clenched. I had to un-convince this guy.
"I mean it would probably be tiring, don't you think? You have so much on your plate as it is, right?"
With a chuckle, he exclaimed, "Look kid, I'm already so rich--I was on that Forbes list you know?--so rich that I can do whatever I want. But, you know, I think me being a businessman could help. It could help a lot. It can't be that complicated."
As I began to plead, the security guard informed me that my time was up. I was whisked away so the next person could get her book signed. I never saw him again.
So when Donald Trump came down that elevator to announce he was running for president, I knew what no one else at the time expected. He would win.
Note to self: next time Trump is making banter with a crowd, like "People are saying I should run for president. Think of the deals I would make there--boy oh boy. I don't want to do that though--I'd be tremendous at it, believe me, I just don't think I want to," keep your goddamn mouth shut.
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[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
"Uuuurrggg. Eric, can you convince me to not be hung over?"
That's my roommate, Blanca. She's a bit of a party animal. So am I, for that matter, but I know my limit.
"No," I reply, "You know I don't like to abuse my powers."
"Powers, smowers," She rebuts in a very mature manner. "It's not like you can fly, or anything."
"Okay, fine," I say, as she smirks.
"Wait, what are you doing?"
"Hmm? Oh, I'm looking something up on Wikipedia."
"I thought you said you were going to help me with my headache?"
"Mhm. Hey, did you know that ducks can't get headaches?"
"Oh, how I wis- Wait! No! Not ag- QUACK!"
Blanca sat there, as a duck, glaring at me for all she/it was worth.
"Well, I've got class. Maybe I'll convince you not to be ungrateful, later!"
|
"It was a joke," I said, firmly now. "It won't be."
"You know what, why not?" he replied. A light flooded into his eyes as he looked in the distance. It's like that was all it fucking took.
"How hard could it be? Yeah, how hard could it really be? No one ever said it would be easy before but maybe--it probably would be. And besides, you know me, I'm a winner."
Most of the time, I enjoy being the guy who encourages people to do new things. "Thank you so much for pushing me to try" they always say. Without fail. "I knew I had it in me. I just needed some encouragement."
Sure you did.
See, I have this strange ability. If I can talk someone into doing something, they'll succeed. It works great for passions and dreams--all that mushy shit. I'll probably indirectly be responsible for a movie or six because of a the words I've offered to friends, strangers, that truck driver through my car window, etc.
Problem is, it's not *all* positive. I'm not the most convincing son of a bitch. Plus, sometimes I just forget that I can do it since it's rather new. I guess it would also help if I wasn't such a smart ass. Ever ruin a life with a sarcastic comment that you sold a little too well? Yeah, I definitely haven't either...
Anyway, as I shook the author's hand my off-white smile twisted into a shape I never learned in geometry class. My stomach sank. My asshole clenched. I had to un-convince this guy.
"I mean it would probably be tiring, don't you think? You have so much on your plate as it is, right?"
With a chuckle, he exclaimed, "Look kid, I'm already so rich--I was on that Forbes list you know?--so rich that I can do whatever I want. But, you know, I think me being a businessman could help. It could help a lot. It can't be that complicated."
As I began to plead, the security guard informed me that my time was up. I was whisked away so the next person could get her book signed. I never saw him again.
So when Donald Trump came down that elevator to announce he was running for president, I knew what no one else at the time expected. He would win.
Note to self: next time Trump is making banter with a crowd, like "People are saying I should run for president. Think of the deals I would make there--boy oh boy. I don't want to do that though--I'd be tremendous at it, believe me, I just don't think I want to," keep your goddamn mouth shut.
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[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
"Uuuurrggg. Eric, can you convince me to not be hung over?"
That's my roommate, Blanca. She's a bit of a party animal. So am I, for that matter, but I know my limit.
"No," I reply, "You know I don't like to abuse my powers."
"Powers, smowers," She rebuts in a very mature manner. "It's not like you can fly, or anything."
"Okay, fine," I say, as she smirks.
"Wait, what are you doing?"
"Hmm? Oh, I'm looking something up on Wikipedia."
"I thought you said you were going to help me with my headache?"
"Mhm. Hey, did you know that ducks can't get headaches?"
"Oh, how I wis- Wait! No! Not ag- QUACK!"
Blanca sat there, as a duck, glaring at me for all she/it was worth.
"Well, I've got class. Maybe I'll convince you not to be ungrateful, later!"
|
I couldn't mess up this job. I was underqualified. I'd just walked into the winning building of eenie meanie minie moe and convinced them to give me an interview.
The interview had gone well. I knew that if I'd just managed to convince them to give me a shot, I'd be in. It was the convincing that was the real problem.
See, things that I said had a tendency to happen, but only if wasn't the one to do them.
Advicemancy, my friends in high school had called it, jokingly. They never really believed, but I saw what happened when someone listened to me.
When I told Sherri Germain in the second grade that juggling was cool and she could be the best at it, she gave it a shot. She tours the world now, juggling everything from cats to chainsaws. She was on the cover of Time. Jay Leno interviewed her.
When I told a homeless man that he should get clean and follow his dreams, he did. I saw him on TV at the Grammy's. I don't think he's a good rapper, but everyone else sure does.
And when I told my now current boss that if he'd hire me I'd make the best damn assistant he'd ever seen, he seemed to like my spunk. I got the job. Nevermind that my spunk was a combination of caffiene, fear, and desperation.
With a gift like this, you think everything would be easy for me. "Just talk someone into buying you a lottery ticket! Talk Robert Downey Jr. Into leaving his wife for you! Talk Isreal into making peace with Palestine!" And sure, I'd do all that if I had any clue HOW.
I think I just wake people up. That what I convince them to do, they already want, and I just nudge them towards it. The things I say aren't special. But sometimes people listen and sometimes they don't, and I never know if I said the right thing and it's a big mess. Sometimes I can just...feel it. Feel that they listened, feel that it's gonna happen for them. Sometimes it's a good feeling. Sometimes it's not. I'm responsible for the renaissance of juggling. I'm also responsible for MC Dizzee V@gr@nt, and all his horrible, horrible music.
So I decided this was the last time, this interview. I'd get a good job, I'd keep my head down, and I'd keep my opinion to myself. It was the only way to stay sane.
And I followed that. I brought the boss coffee in his tacky gold and wood office, and when he asked what I thought, I shook my head and said it wasn't my place. Sometimes he seemed annoyed so I'd ask what he thought. He always loved to share that.
"What do you think of Obama?" He asked one day as he sawed at a steak. I knew his opinion, so I tried not to get riled up. I shook my head meekly and put down a ketchup bottle.
"I don't know much about politics," I answered.
He grunted. "Seems that we should have a real American in office," he said, pronouncing the capital 'A'. "Don't you think?"
"Well," I answered carefully. "He is, isn't he?"
My boss snorted. "That's what they want you to think. He's a commie. They try to make you think that that's the 'cool' thing now, but it's all about control, okay? Commie lame fuck. We need a real leader who looks put for real Americans like us."
I said it before I could stop myself. I don't know if it was irritation, ass-kissing, sarcasm or some combination, but I felt that familar MC Dizzee V@gr@nt feeling all over again. "Maybe you should run for President."
Mr. Trump's brow furrowed, then raised. "Huh."
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[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
Jim kept chewing on his stupid pen. He just sat there, staring down at the case files.
"You keep sucking on that thing, the ink is gonna give you mouth cancer."
Jim sat back a little and took the pen out of his mouth. "Really? It helps me think."
I frowned. "No. Take the help you can get."
Jim flipped me off with the pen. "You're an asshole. You mind if I cut out early? Katy wants to practice driving in twilight."
I looked at the files and shrugged. Nobody was coming in tonight. "Yeah, sure. I might die of boredom. "
"Bullshit." He stood and turned, walking to the door. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Yeah, I need you for intake at ten. And Jim?"
He had one hand on the doorframe, still holding his thinking pen. "Yeah?"
"If you teach Katy as well as you taught me, she'll never be hurt in an accident."
Jim grinned and lobbed his pen into the wastebasket by my desk. "Thanks, man. But you're a natural."
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Short and straight to the point.
Me: Hey.
Them: Hey.
Me: I have this weird superpower where if I can convince someone to do something, they will accomplish it without a problem.
Them: BS.
Me: Try to walk up the wall.
Them: *Does it without a problem.* Ok I believe you.
Me: Boom. Anything else you want to get done?
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[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
Absurdity. Never underestimate the power of a crazy idea. They saw it. They all saw it, Buddha, Hitler, Trump, Tesla, and more, thousands more. I see it too. I mean look at our world. Pick up two pieces of rock, hard and unyielding, and smash them together and you get a spark. From the coldest stone comes 5000 degrees flying of into the night with just a small flick of the wrist. Get that spark to land on a dry plant, a living being striving to expand and grow, and you get an inferno. Isn't that just ape shit crazy?
Look, look, look, it's like some. Kid made it up
Rock plus rock equals spark. Spark plus plants equals fire. Fire burns plants and melts rock. That's what it's all about, a cosmic children's game and we are stuck in the middle, wondering when Victor the 5 year old will get bored and kick sand over our existence.
And don't get me started on birds. That's just as crazy. Huge fucking dino monster's are now stupid little chickens. Insane.
Nothing in this world is impossible, nothing. That doesn't mean you can't make predictions or force infinity down a bottleneck. Like right now... You have 3 choices, and only 3. But to show you again what I mean about how everything is, I'm going to tell your future. Pick a path I dare you.
Path 1. You upvote this post. You upvote this post because you though it was charming or whatever and your day is better for reading it. You upvote it and all the rest of the week you feel inspired, and active, and you start tackling the pile of shit you call your life and you get together and you make something out of yourself. You get the ball rolling. And. You. Don't. Stop.
Path 2. You down vote this post. You get a sick little thrill for doing it, but after you do, you will begin evaluating your life and just how Petty you are. After a few days you'll come to the realization that you need a change. And so you will start, and you will grow and progress and bloom. You will become a great driving force in your own life all to make yourself, your family, your city, your world better. And you'll do it to.
Or oath 3. You do nothing. You do nothing. Nothing. And then 6 moths down the road you will realize that that's all you have ever done. Nothing. Stupid, fat, useless, ugly, unfriendly, nothing. Your life a butterfat lies and all you do is eat them up, shit them out, and swallow the same lies all over again. Six months from now you will look in a mirror and decide enough is enough. And you'll change. Not because you have to, but because anything, anything is better than another meal of deceitful cupcakes.
That's my prediction. And it's now your choice, So go ahead. Make a choice. Do it, I dare ya.
|
Short and straight to the point.
Me: Hey.
Them: Hey.
Me: I have this weird superpower where if I can convince someone to do something, they will accomplish it without a problem.
Them: BS.
Me: Try to walk up the wall.
Them: *Does it without a problem.* Ok I believe you.
Me: Boom. Anything else you want to get done?
|
|
[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
"Sally look, I know this year was really hard on you. I know you've been having trouble at home and I know you feel coming to school is a drag, but you can't keep going like this, it'll only get tougher as you grow!"
Sally rolled her eyes, just as she always did. This kid was always getting into trouble, be it hanging out with some shady people behind the school or skipping class. Her life wasn't all cherries and rainbows though. Her dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer two years ago and died last year. As a result her mother had to start working extra hard to provide for her and her older brother. Around that time she started skipping classes. She wasn't the brightest student but she did her job. Average grades, average social life, average everything honestly. But after her father's death everything started plummeting. At first it was her grades. She started failing in math and literature, and after a while her favorite subject, history. After that she started hanging out with sketchy kids outside of school, probably 5 years older than her. After that she stopped hanging out with her old friends, people who she hang out with since childhood.
"Look Mr. Oliver, I know this doesn't mean anything to you and you're just here to get your paycheck, so please leave me alone and get back to grading your shitty tests and stop interfering with my life."
"Sally that's not true and you know that. Look, I know it's hard. I lost someone too when I a bit younger than you. It was my little brother. He was always happy, always smiling and always had a lot of energy.". I started tearing up a bit. "I can still see him sitting in the living room reading that one superman comics I bought him as a birthday present over and over again. He used to hang on this one page with this big panel of superman flying to save someone falling from a building. It wasn't any fancy drawing or anything, just your regular panel. He said that panel looked really cool to him cause that was what superman was for him, saving anyone, even someone he isn't friends with."
Sally sat there in silence listening to my story. I could see a little embarrassment in her look.
"It's fine really, it's not something I tell anybody. It was a long time ago. I never really moved on, and I won't say it gets easier as the years go by, but I try to live for the both of us now."
"If it's not too rude to ask, how did he die?"
My voice cracked a bit. "He fell off the 4th floor balcony of our building". I can still see the red cape he wore that day.
"Look sally, I know it's gonna be hard. I know it hurts right now. I want you to know you can always come and talk to me openly about how you feel. And of course I don't want you flanking out and drifting out there like some kind of a mindless zombie. I'll tell you what. We'll tackle your favorite subject first, History, okay? We can study here together and I'm sure you'll be able to succeed in your exams!"
"Ok Mr. Oliver, but..." she hesitated. "but... can you keep this a secret? I really don't want everyone to know about this".
"Of course I won't! This is between you and me". She quickly got her bag and left. She ran to some of those kids she hangs with, probably told them I was yelling at her for skipping class so much. As I watched her go I saw her turn around and nod to me. That was enough for me to know she's gonna be okay.
I glanced at the clock and noticed it was already 7pm, I packed my belongings and drove home. On the way back I paid a visit to the old playground me and my brother used to play in. The big yellow plastic house was still there, with the big tree next to it and the few slides that already lost their colors from standing too long in the sun. I stood by the house, it had two floors, it was around my height, suited for children to play in. I touched the fading yellow plastic walls. "Remember Sally? I think I got to her today. I know she's a good child but I couldn't really think of a good way to approach her until today. She was a bit feisty at the start but I guess she realizes that she's not in a good place right now, and she doesn't know how to get out of it. I think I can help her. I know I can. I will." After standing there in silence for a few minutes I turned back and went home.
I drove silently thinking back at the time when we were playing together back there, you standing on top of that yellow roof. We were playing pretend and I said to you "if you'll jump you can fly!". The moment your feet left that roof your body just started floating around the tree like it was a rope swing. You were so excited that you could fly you screamed at the top of your lungs "I can fly! I'm Superman!". I was baffled myself at what just happened and honestly I was sure there was some kind of a trick but you really were flying.
I got home and had a letter waiting for me in the mailbox. A former student. Joshua Lenn. He was a bright kid with a bright future ahead of him, he was successful in almost anything he did when he was younger and you could really see the spark in his eyes when he talked about physics.He was from a really strict family. He had a mental breakdown due to huge amount of pressure from his family to be a doctor. He really wanted to go into physics but his parents already has set their mind on him going into medicine. He had a really hard time recovering from that breakdown, his memory started worsening, he was exhausted from morning to evening, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, he was so afraid about his future and what he was going to do with his life, about how he didn't want to live a predetermined life that he had no control over whatsoever that it brought him even further into his developing depression. I remember having long discussions with him after school about life, what it means to be human, what it means to live your own life and where we can go. We could talk about anything from Descartes to Rihana, he especially loved our talks about advancements in the space industry, how one of his big dreams was to work on engines that could take us to other star systems.
I got to my apartment and I opened the letter.
>
> Hi Mr. Oliver
>
> I know it has been about 10 years since I've graduated but I just wanted you to know that I got a job at NASA working on some of their new age engines! These won't take us to other stars but are supposed to help us get to mars sooner!
>
> I opened my yearbook a few weeks ago and as I flipped through the pages I saw your picture as out homeroom teacher.
>
> I remembered all of our long hour talks and I got really nostalgic. I wanted to contact you but I realized you still haven't set up an email address so I wrote you this letter.
>
> I guess I just wanted to say thank you for being there for me.
>
> J.L.
I read the letter with a big smile on my face. I opened my cabinet, revealing other letters, sent by my other students and above them all, the panel with Superman saving the guy from falling off a building.
---
Still trying this thing out, I hope it's good. I tried going more into detail. Any criticism is welcome. Thank you for reading!
*Edit: say to saw in the letter
|
Short and straight to the point.
Me: Hey.
Them: Hey.
Me: I have this weird superpower where if I can convince someone to do something, they will accomplish it without a problem.
Them: BS.
Me: Try to walk up the wall.
Them: *Does it without a problem.* Ok I believe you.
Me: Boom. Anything else you want to get done?
|
|
[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
"Ffffffeck..." slurred Brian as he negotiated the revolving door outside Manhattan's World Bar. Convincing Will to head to the east side to sample the world's most expensive cocktail hadn't been easy, but Brian found that once he got an assent from Will, it had quickly snowballed into maxxing out Will's corporate card ordering the damned things.
And snowball it did. As Brian stumbled out of the revolving door, he waltzed right into one of Manhattan's most famous real estate developers.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" the developer asked, wiping a mixture of expensive liquor and gold leaf from his startlingly ill-fitting tie. Brian hated it when people who should know better wore their ties hanging over their belt buckle.
Brian swore again, this time catching himself and producing a handkerchief that he tried, unsuccessfully, to use to clean up the man he had just run into.
"Shorry about that, man..." Brian intimated. The man scoffed.
"Heyyyy, you know...I've alwaysh thought you were an ashhole, but you should run for Prrrreshident, Mishter Trump..."
|
Short and straight to the point.
Me: Hey.
Them: Hey.
Me: I have this weird superpower where if I can convince someone to do something, they will accomplish it without a problem.
Them: BS.
Me: Try to walk up the wall.
Them: *Does it without a problem.* Ok I believe you.
Me: Boom. Anything else you want to get done?
|
|
[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
We were both 14 at the time, my best friend Rand and I sat contentedly on the branches of the highest tree in our neighbourhood, while some of the other, more cautious kids looked up in awe from the ground.
“You can see the whole city from here!” I realised, amazed by a view that young me had never seen before.
“I can see my house from here”, Rand quipped, unfazed by the wonders spread below us.
We sat together for a companionable while, but young as we were the novelty gradually wore off. I glanced at the ground, dizzyingly far away and now empty of an audience. Getting down was going to take a while. I glanced over at Rand, and joked “dare you to get to the bottom in less than 5 seconds”.
I didn’t mean it of course, why on earth would I mean something like that? But the challenge in my voice obviously swayed Rand, who gave me a considering look. After a moment the doubt cleared from his face and he broke into a grin, before taking off with a shout: “race you to the bottom!”.
Of course getting to the top of a tree and getting back to the bottom are two completely different things, as anyone who’s ever climbed one will know, so naturally I started down hesitantly, feeling my way with my feet for the steadier branches below, but a cautious glance down took my breath away: there was Rand, hopping lightly from branch to branch as if pulled to each one by a constantly-shifting gravity. I wish I’d timed it, but surely not more than 3 seconds had passed before he took a leap that – realistically – should have broken at least 1 bone and landed feet-first on the ground, grinning up at me and only slightly out of breath.
It took me 2 whole minutes to climb down.
2 days later I got the news: my best friend had tried the same daredevil feat again, but the result had changed. Part of me suspected what had happened, and from then on my fear of a recurrence kept me well away from asking people to do the impossible.
**15 Years On**
Nobody expected it when the troopers crossed the border. There was no way our neighbouring country had declared war on us, was there? Relations were so friendly, it surely had to be some kind of false flag operation. Regardless, their allegiance didn’t matter, what mattered was that our army barely had time to mobilise in defense before the shock troops started marching through our streets, killing soldier and civilians alike. Not knowing what to do but knowing I had to do *something*, I found myself in the streets, looking for a group of our people. Of course I’d served my year of mandatory army service, so I at least knew one end of a weapon from the other, and spotting a barricade of our soldiers I skidded over, grabbing a gun from one of the fallen on arrival. One of the soldiers looked at me dubiously, but obviously accepting how outnumbered they were, accepted my support.
We made our stand there, behind a wall that felt far too flimsy as grenade after grenade flew over us, occasionally hitting the wall or, worse, one of our people. How many grenades did they have?
“This is hopeless!” cried one of the younger soldiers, despairing. “It’s just a matter of time now before we’re all killed, there’s no way we’ll win…it’s impossible”. With that he collapsed heavily against the battered wall and let out a sob.
*Impossible*… the word seemed to whisper to me as if from ages past, and I found myself looking up to find a tree that had been cleared from this block years ago. What had I to lose now?
I turned to the first soldier who’d looked at me, he seemed to be their commander, and gulped. “It may not be impossible, we do have a chance.”
The commander looked at me, sceptical yet open to suggestions.
“You see, I think I have this…ability…when I convince people to try the impossible, they can do it. I don’t know why, but it works.”
“Uh huh”, the commander said, his expression grim, and turned back to the enemy, “well, top marks for trying to bring some humour to the situation at least.”
“I’m being serious, we can really do this! What have we got to lose?”
“And how many times have you tested this…ability?”
I winced, “just once, 15 years ago”.
The commander lobbed a grenade of his own at the enemy. Where had he gotten that? “I’ll tell you what we’ve got to lose, our dignity.”
Another grenade flew at the enemy, met by three of their own. Once again the commander reconsidered. “Alright, convince me to do something, but it’d better work”.
I paused, I’d never actually tested my ability – telling the commander I had hadn’t even been strictly true, that had just happened by chance. How did it work? Would just saying ‘defeat the enemy’ do it? Maybe I had to put a timer on it or something like that. Well, it was worth a shot.
“Uh, dare you to defeat the enemy in 2 minutes or less?”.
He sighed, somehow mixing defeat, determination, and disgust into one sound, before looking at his watch and standing up, machine gun in hand.
To give him credit, he actually took down a fair few of the troopers before taking a bullet himself. He grunted as he fell back behind our barricade. “Knew it was a joke, how much dignity do I still have?”
It was a fool’s hope, and I wondered what had gone wrong. Was the task too impossible, or not impossible enough? Resigned, I put my own weapon above the barricade again and began shooting blind, determined to take as many with me as I could. Out of nowhere, a voice piped up beside me, “you weren’t really joking though, were you?”
I stopped shooting and looked to my side where the frightened soldier from before now crouched, eyes still red and scared, but now with something else I couldn’t identify.
“No”, I sighed, “I wasn’t joking”.
The young soldier poked his head over the barricade to look at the swarm around us, finally moving in for a flanking manoeuvre now that we’d been softened up.
“Tell me to do something then”.
I looked at him, did I really want to be directly responsible for this soldier’s death? Would it matter if he died anyway?
“Ok, we’ll try again, dare you to win this in 2 minutes or less”.
The youngster grinned at me weakly, he couldn’t be more than the minimum recruiting age, and leapt up and over the barricade.
The sight that greeted me when I poked my own head over the barricade burned in my memory forever: the soldier moved easily over, under and around enemy bullets and the explosions of grenades as he fired shot after shot, each finding its mark in an enemy trooper. As he ran out of bullets, he began picking up the unfamiliar weapons of the enemy and using those to devastating effect as well, and while I knew I should be helping, I couldn’t tear my gaze away from the sights I was seeing. It didn’t matter anyway; in 1 minute and 57 seconds, he’d managed to take out an entire platoon.
“I knew it!” he cried triumphantly as he looked back to me, “I knew you were telling the truth!”.
As a breeze blew past me I could almost hear the sound of leaves blowing in the wind, taking me back to that day 15 years ago, and with it a bittersweet truth: the reason Rand had been able to do what he did and bring my ability to life was because of one thing only: he believed in me.
|
Short and straight to the point.
Me: Hey.
Them: Hey.
Me: I have this weird superpower where if I can convince someone to do something, they will accomplish it without a problem.
Them: BS.
Me: Try to walk up the wall.
Them: *Does it without a problem.* Ok I believe you.
Me: Boom. Anything else you want to get done?
|
|
[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
“You’re a cheat, a fraud!” he shouted, having ducked under my line of security holding off the adoring crowds. He shoved me rudely backwards, and I felt him spit in my face.
The hall went silent, and a thousand camera flashes lit up as my fans started snapping away. Far more common in the early days, not so much now, it had been some time since the last heckler attempted to disrupt my services.
“What’s your name?” I asked, after security had tackled him to the ground, holding him in an arm lock. He stared back defiantly, murder in his eyes.
“I hate people like you,” he seethed, “you prey on the gullible, exploit their dreams, crush their hopes! I hope you burn in hell!”
In the past, I would have begged for him to give me a chance, let me prove myself. I would have trotted out recordings of the precious few times I had successfully applied my powers, shown him that I really could convince people to do the extraordinary, once I managed to persuade them to even try. I would have persisted until my throat was raw, my knees were bruised.
Now, it was much easier. I just had to let him see for himself.
“Who amongst you is afflicted? Who can I help today?” I said, turning to address the crowds. My hands were raised, my voice boomed across the hall.
A hundred, two hundred hands shot up in the air, as applause rang out. The first in line, a young girl in a wheelchair, rolled up to me. I wasn’t a doctor, but I didn’t need to be one to infer from her withered, twisted legs what she was seeking today.
“What’s your name?”
“I’m Grace Natterly, please, please heal me!”
I held her hands, closed my eyes. I felt the rest of the hall slip into a similar reverential mood, and faint murmurings filled the air. Prayer wasn’t exactly necessary, but I let them believe what they wanted. The only disturbance in that whirlpool of peace, was the disbeliever who still struggled on the carpet.
“By the power vested in me, Grace Natterly, I compel you to heal yourself! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up now!”
And she did.
She struggled at first, unused to the motions, then I felt the familiar tingle as my powers took over. No one else could see, but I saw the dancing motes of light swirl in the air, cling to her legs like fireflies. I heard the familiar crick of bones straightening, growing, and I saw the flesh fatten, bulk up with muscle. The deformities melted away, leaving only a completely unremarkable set of legs.
“I… I am healed…” she said, finally, quietly. She was flexing her toes, still swimming in that short flood of euphoria, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes.
The cheers erupted. Her family rushed up to her in celebration, and the others in line pressed forward, hungry, impatient, hopeful.
I turned to my detractor, who had fallen silent. The fight had sapped out of him, and a curious blankness covered his face. I waved away the security holding him down, then leaned in close.
“That’s… that’s impossible,” he said, shaking his head slowly, eyes wide.
“All you need, is a little bit of faith,” I said, smiling as I held out my hand.
---
/r/rarelyfunny
|
Short and straight to the point.
Me: Hey.
Them: Hey.
Me: I have this weird superpower where if I can convince someone to do something, they will accomplish it without a problem.
Them: BS.
Me: Try to walk up the wall.
Them: *Does it without a problem.* Ok I believe you.
Me: Boom. Anything else you want to get done?
|
|
[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
The man on the ledge reeked of old booze and stale vomit, enough for me to smell him from ten paces away. Not your typical drunk however, judging by the suit; a week or so ago, it had been a respectable business number, probably complete with a crisp shirt and a smart tie. I could see that the shirt lost a number of buttons since, and acquired questionable stains, and the tie went missing altogether.
"Don't. No closer. I'll jump. I'm not kidding." He winced and swayed as he spoke.
I shrugged and leaned against the roof access door.
"Suit yourself, partner. Jump. Or don't. You are not dying today."
"Wrong!" he swayed again. "I'll do it! We are fifty stories up, there's nothing anyone can do!.." Below, the Strip churned, shone, sparkled and blinked. Just another day in paradise.
"You don't understand. I... I thought I could stop. I *almost* stopped. I just... I needed... more..." For a moment I thought he'd start to whimper and back away from the ledge, and we could solve things quietly. No such luck however. He kept blabbing, the standard suicidal drivel of a gambling addict down on his luck.
"Hey!" I snapped my fingers and he stared at me wide-eyed. "Will you ever get on with it? So you fucked up. You ALWAYS fuck up. And you'll fuck this up too. Want to know what'll happen now? You'll jump. You'll fall fifty fucking stories, land on an empty car, ruin it, and walk away with one hell of a bruised ass and not a single broken bone. Get it? You're about to fuck up your own suicide. I'm not here to talk you out of it. I'm here to talk you *into* it, watch and fucking laugh."
He blinked slowly, once, twice.
"Fuck. You. You're crazy. What kind of a negotiator are you anyway?"
"I'm not. You see a badge anywhere? For all you know, I'm the tooth fairy. You know what's funny? You can't even stop yourself thinking about what I said just now, can you? You're gonna attempt suicide by jumping fifty stories, and you're gonna FUCK IT UP. All this to ruin some poor slob's car. C'mon then, loser. I got places to be."
"Fuck. You."
Credit where credit's due - he did not scream on the way down, or at least not so much that I could hear him. From below, came a distant thud and an indignant blare of a car alarm. I walked the ten paces to the ledge and peered over just in time to see him kneeling in the street next to a ruined cab, uniforms and paramedics rushing towards him.
The phone in my pocket trilled.
"Mahoney? We've got him. Come on down."
|
Short and straight to the point.
Me: Hey.
Them: Hey.
Me: I have this weird superpower where if I can convince someone to do something, they will accomplish it without a problem.
Them: BS.
Me: Try to walk up the wall.
Them: *Does it without a problem.* Ok I believe you.
Me: Boom. Anything else you want to get done?
|
|
[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
"Sally look, I know this year was really hard on you. I know you've been having trouble at home and I know you feel coming to school is a drag, but you can't keep going like this, it'll only get tougher as you grow!"
Sally rolled her eyes, just as she always did. This kid was always getting into trouble, be it hanging out with some shady people behind the school or skipping class. Her life wasn't all cherries and rainbows though. Her dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer two years ago and died last year. As a result her mother had to start working extra hard to provide for her and her older brother. Around that time she started skipping classes. She wasn't the brightest student but she did her job. Average grades, average social life, average everything honestly. But after her father's death everything started plummeting. At first it was her grades. She started failing in math and literature, and after a while her favorite subject, history. After that she started hanging out with sketchy kids outside of school, probably 5 years older than her. After that she stopped hanging out with her old friends, people who she hang out with since childhood.
"Look Mr. Oliver, I know this doesn't mean anything to you and you're just here to get your paycheck, so please leave me alone and get back to grading your shitty tests and stop interfering with my life."
"Sally that's not true and you know that. Look, I know it's hard. I lost someone too when I a bit younger than you. It was my little brother. He was always happy, always smiling and always had a lot of energy.". I started tearing up a bit. "I can still see him sitting in the living room reading that one superman comics I bought him as a birthday present over and over again. He used to hang on this one page with this big panel of superman flying to save someone falling from a building. It wasn't any fancy drawing or anything, just your regular panel. He said that panel looked really cool to him cause that was what superman was for him, saving anyone, even someone he isn't friends with."
Sally sat there in silence listening to my story. I could see a little embarrassment in her look.
"It's fine really, it's not something I tell anybody. It was a long time ago. I never really moved on, and I won't say it gets easier as the years go by, but I try to live for the both of us now."
"If it's not too rude to ask, how did he die?"
My voice cracked a bit. "He fell off the 4th floor balcony of our building". I can still see the red cape he wore that day.
"Look sally, I know it's gonna be hard. I know it hurts right now. I want you to know you can always come and talk to me openly about how you feel. And of course I don't want you flanking out and drifting out there like some kind of a mindless zombie. I'll tell you what. We'll tackle your favorite subject first, History, okay? We can study here together and I'm sure you'll be able to succeed in your exams!"
"Ok Mr. Oliver, but..." she hesitated. "but... can you keep this a secret? I really don't want everyone to know about this".
"Of course I won't! This is between you and me". She quickly got her bag and left. She ran to some of those kids she hangs with, probably told them I was yelling at her for skipping class so much. As I watched her go I saw her turn around and nod to me. That was enough for me to know she's gonna be okay.
I glanced at the clock and noticed it was already 7pm, I packed my belongings and drove home. On the way back I paid a visit to the old playground me and my brother used to play in. The big yellow plastic house was still there, with the big tree next to it and the few slides that already lost their colors from standing too long in the sun. I stood by the house, it had two floors, it was around my height, suited for children to play in. I touched the fading yellow plastic walls. "Remember Sally? I think I got to her today. I know she's a good child but I couldn't really think of a good way to approach her until today. She was a bit feisty at the start but I guess she realizes that she's not in a good place right now, and she doesn't know how to get out of it. I think I can help her. I know I can. I will." After standing there in silence for a few minutes I turned back and went home.
I drove silently thinking back at the time when we were playing together back there, you standing on top of that yellow roof. We were playing pretend and I said to you "if you'll jump you can fly!". The moment your feet left that roof your body just started floating around the tree like it was a rope swing. You were so excited that you could fly you screamed at the top of your lungs "I can fly! I'm Superman!". I was baffled myself at what just happened and honestly I was sure there was some kind of a trick but you really were flying.
I got home and had a letter waiting for me in the mailbox. A former student. Joshua Lenn. He was a bright kid with a bright future ahead of him, he was successful in almost anything he did when he was younger and you could really see the spark in his eyes when he talked about physics.He was from a really strict family. He had a mental breakdown due to huge amount of pressure from his family to be a doctor. He really wanted to go into physics but his parents already has set their mind on him going into medicine. He had a really hard time recovering from that breakdown, his memory started worsening, he was exhausted from morning to evening, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, he was so afraid about his future and what he was going to do with his life, about how he didn't want to live a predetermined life that he had no control over whatsoever that it brought him even further into his developing depression. I remember having long discussions with him after school about life, what it means to be human, what it means to live your own life and where we can go. We could talk about anything from Descartes to Rihana, he especially loved our talks about advancements in the space industry, how one of his big dreams was to work on engines that could take us to other star systems.
I got to my apartment and I opened the letter.
>
> Hi Mr. Oliver
>
> I know it has been about 10 years since I've graduated but I just wanted you to know that I got a job at NASA working on some of their new age engines! These won't take us to other stars but are supposed to help us get to mars sooner!
>
> I opened my yearbook a few weeks ago and as I flipped through the pages I saw your picture as out homeroom teacher.
>
> I remembered all of our long hour talks and I got really nostalgic. I wanted to contact you but I realized you still haven't set up an email address so I wrote you this letter.
>
> I guess I just wanted to say thank you for being there for me.
>
> J.L.
I read the letter with a big smile on my face. I opened my cabinet, revealing other letters, sent by my other students and above them all, the panel with Superman saving the guy from falling off a building.
---
Still trying this thing out, I hope it's good. I tried going more into detail. Any criticism is welcome. Thank you for reading!
*Edit: say to saw in the letter
|
Jim kept chewing on his stupid pen. He just sat there, staring down at the case files.
"You keep sucking on that thing, the ink is gonna give you mouth cancer."
Jim sat back a little and took the pen out of his mouth. "Really? It helps me think."
I frowned. "No. Take the help you can get."
Jim flipped me off with the pen. "You're an asshole. You mind if I cut out early? Katy wants to practice driving in twilight."
I looked at the files and shrugged. Nobody was coming in tonight. "Yeah, sure. I might die of boredom. "
"Bullshit." He stood and turned, walking to the door. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Yeah, I need you for intake at ten. And Jim?"
He had one hand on the doorframe, still holding his thinking pen. "Yeah?"
"If you teach Katy as well as you taught me, she'll never be hurt in an accident."
Jim grinned and lobbed his pen into the wastebasket by my desk. "Thanks, man. But you're a natural."
|
|
[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
"Ffffffeck..." slurred Brian as he negotiated the revolving door outside Manhattan's World Bar. Convincing Will to head to the east side to sample the world's most expensive cocktail hadn't been easy, but Brian found that once he got an assent from Will, it had quickly snowballed into maxxing out Will's corporate card ordering the damned things.
And snowball it did. As Brian stumbled out of the revolving door, he waltzed right into one of Manhattan's most famous real estate developers.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" the developer asked, wiping a mixture of expensive liquor and gold leaf from his startlingly ill-fitting tie. Brian hated it when people who should know better wore their ties hanging over their belt buckle.
Brian swore again, this time catching himself and producing a handkerchief that he tried, unsuccessfully, to use to clean up the man he had just run into.
"Shorry about that, man..." Brian intimated. The man scoffed.
"Heyyyy, you know...I've alwaysh thought you were an ashhole, but you should run for Prrrreshident, Mishter Trump..."
|
Jim kept chewing on his stupid pen. He just sat there, staring down at the case files.
"You keep sucking on that thing, the ink is gonna give you mouth cancer."
Jim sat back a little and took the pen out of his mouth. "Really? It helps me think."
I frowned. "No. Take the help you can get."
Jim flipped me off with the pen. "You're an asshole. You mind if I cut out early? Katy wants to practice driving in twilight."
I looked at the files and shrugged. Nobody was coming in tonight. "Yeah, sure. I might die of boredom. "
"Bullshit." He stood and turned, walking to the door. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Yeah, I need you for intake at ten. And Jim?"
He had one hand on the doorframe, still holding his thinking pen. "Yeah?"
"If you teach Katy as well as you taught me, she'll never be hurt in an accident."
Jim grinned and lobbed his pen into the wastebasket by my desk. "Thanks, man. But you're a natural."
|
|
[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
We were both 14 at the time, my best friend Rand and I sat contentedly on the branches of the highest tree in our neighbourhood, while some of the other, more cautious kids looked up in awe from the ground.
“You can see the whole city from here!” I realised, amazed by a view that young me had never seen before.
“I can see my house from here”, Rand quipped, unfazed by the wonders spread below us.
We sat together for a companionable while, but young as we were the novelty gradually wore off. I glanced at the ground, dizzyingly far away and now empty of an audience. Getting down was going to take a while. I glanced over at Rand, and joked “dare you to get to the bottom in less than 5 seconds”.
I didn’t mean it of course, why on earth would I mean something like that? But the challenge in my voice obviously swayed Rand, who gave me a considering look. After a moment the doubt cleared from his face and he broke into a grin, before taking off with a shout: “race you to the bottom!”.
Of course getting to the top of a tree and getting back to the bottom are two completely different things, as anyone who’s ever climbed one will know, so naturally I started down hesitantly, feeling my way with my feet for the steadier branches below, but a cautious glance down took my breath away: there was Rand, hopping lightly from branch to branch as if pulled to each one by a constantly-shifting gravity. I wish I’d timed it, but surely not more than 3 seconds had passed before he took a leap that – realistically – should have broken at least 1 bone and landed feet-first on the ground, grinning up at me and only slightly out of breath.
It took me 2 whole minutes to climb down.
2 days later I got the news: my best friend had tried the same daredevil feat again, but the result had changed. Part of me suspected what had happened, and from then on my fear of a recurrence kept me well away from asking people to do the impossible.
**15 Years On**
Nobody expected it when the troopers crossed the border. There was no way our neighbouring country had declared war on us, was there? Relations were so friendly, it surely had to be some kind of false flag operation. Regardless, their allegiance didn’t matter, what mattered was that our army barely had time to mobilise in defense before the shock troops started marching through our streets, killing soldier and civilians alike. Not knowing what to do but knowing I had to do *something*, I found myself in the streets, looking for a group of our people. Of course I’d served my year of mandatory army service, so I at least knew one end of a weapon from the other, and spotting a barricade of our soldiers I skidded over, grabbing a gun from one of the fallen on arrival. One of the soldiers looked at me dubiously, but obviously accepting how outnumbered they were, accepted my support.
We made our stand there, behind a wall that felt far too flimsy as grenade after grenade flew over us, occasionally hitting the wall or, worse, one of our people. How many grenades did they have?
“This is hopeless!” cried one of the younger soldiers, despairing. “It’s just a matter of time now before we’re all killed, there’s no way we’ll win…it’s impossible”. With that he collapsed heavily against the battered wall and let out a sob.
*Impossible*… the word seemed to whisper to me as if from ages past, and I found myself looking up to find a tree that had been cleared from this block years ago. What had I to lose now?
I turned to the first soldier who’d looked at me, he seemed to be their commander, and gulped. “It may not be impossible, we do have a chance.”
The commander looked at me, sceptical yet open to suggestions.
“You see, I think I have this…ability…when I convince people to try the impossible, they can do it. I don’t know why, but it works.”
“Uh huh”, the commander said, his expression grim, and turned back to the enemy, “well, top marks for trying to bring some humour to the situation at least.”
“I’m being serious, we can really do this! What have we got to lose?”
“And how many times have you tested this…ability?”
I winced, “just once, 15 years ago”.
The commander lobbed a grenade of his own at the enemy. Where had he gotten that? “I’ll tell you what we’ve got to lose, our dignity.”
Another grenade flew at the enemy, met by three of their own. Once again the commander reconsidered. “Alright, convince me to do something, but it’d better work”.
I paused, I’d never actually tested my ability – telling the commander I had hadn’t even been strictly true, that had just happened by chance. How did it work? Would just saying ‘defeat the enemy’ do it? Maybe I had to put a timer on it or something like that. Well, it was worth a shot.
“Uh, dare you to defeat the enemy in 2 minutes or less?”.
He sighed, somehow mixing defeat, determination, and disgust into one sound, before looking at his watch and standing up, machine gun in hand.
To give him credit, he actually took down a fair few of the troopers before taking a bullet himself. He grunted as he fell back behind our barricade. “Knew it was a joke, how much dignity do I still have?”
It was a fool’s hope, and I wondered what had gone wrong. Was the task too impossible, or not impossible enough? Resigned, I put my own weapon above the barricade again and began shooting blind, determined to take as many with me as I could. Out of nowhere, a voice piped up beside me, “you weren’t really joking though, were you?”
I stopped shooting and looked to my side where the frightened soldier from before now crouched, eyes still red and scared, but now with something else I couldn’t identify.
“No”, I sighed, “I wasn’t joking”.
The young soldier poked his head over the barricade to look at the swarm around us, finally moving in for a flanking manoeuvre now that we’d been softened up.
“Tell me to do something then”.
I looked at him, did I really want to be directly responsible for this soldier’s death? Would it matter if he died anyway?
“Ok, we’ll try again, dare you to win this in 2 minutes or less”.
The youngster grinned at me weakly, he couldn’t be more than the minimum recruiting age, and leapt up and over the barricade.
The sight that greeted me when I poked my own head over the barricade burned in my memory forever: the soldier moved easily over, under and around enemy bullets and the explosions of grenades as he fired shot after shot, each finding its mark in an enemy trooper. As he ran out of bullets, he began picking up the unfamiliar weapons of the enemy and using those to devastating effect as well, and while I knew I should be helping, I couldn’t tear my gaze away from the sights I was seeing. It didn’t matter anyway; in 1 minute and 57 seconds, he’d managed to take out an entire platoon.
“I knew it!” he cried triumphantly as he looked back to me, “I knew you were telling the truth!”.
As a breeze blew past me I could almost hear the sound of leaves blowing in the wind, taking me back to that day 15 years ago, and with it a bittersweet truth: the reason Rand had been able to do what he did and bring my ability to life was because of one thing only: he believed in me.
|
Jim kept chewing on his stupid pen. He just sat there, staring down at the case files.
"You keep sucking on that thing, the ink is gonna give you mouth cancer."
Jim sat back a little and took the pen out of his mouth. "Really? It helps me think."
I frowned. "No. Take the help you can get."
Jim flipped me off with the pen. "You're an asshole. You mind if I cut out early? Katy wants to practice driving in twilight."
I looked at the files and shrugged. Nobody was coming in tonight. "Yeah, sure. I might die of boredom. "
"Bullshit." He stood and turned, walking to the door. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Yeah, I need you for intake at ten. And Jim?"
He had one hand on the doorframe, still holding his thinking pen. "Yeah?"
"If you teach Katy as well as you taught me, she'll never be hurt in an accident."
Jim grinned and lobbed his pen into the wastebasket by my desk. "Thanks, man. But you're a natural."
|
|
[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
“You’re a cheat, a fraud!” he shouted, having ducked under my line of security holding off the adoring crowds. He shoved me rudely backwards, and I felt him spit in my face.
The hall went silent, and a thousand camera flashes lit up as my fans started snapping away. Far more common in the early days, not so much now, it had been some time since the last heckler attempted to disrupt my services.
“What’s your name?” I asked, after security had tackled him to the ground, holding him in an arm lock. He stared back defiantly, murder in his eyes.
“I hate people like you,” he seethed, “you prey on the gullible, exploit their dreams, crush their hopes! I hope you burn in hell!”
In the past, I would have begged for him to give me a chance, let me prove myself. I would have trotted out recordings of the precious few times I had successfully applied my powers, shown him that I really could convince people to do the extraordinary, once I managed to persuade them to even try. I would have persisted until my throat was raw, my knees were bruised.
Now, it was much easier. I just had to let him see for himself.
“Who amongst you is afflicted? Who can I help today?” I said, turning to address the crowds. My hands were raised, my voice boomed across the hall.
A hundred, two hundred hands shot up in the air, as applause rang out. The first in line, a young girl in a wheelchair, rolled up to me. I wasn’t a doctor, but I didn’t need to be one to infer from her withered, twisted legs what she was seeking today.
“What’s your name?”
“I’m Grace Natterly, please, please heal me!”
I held her hands, closed my eyes. I felt the rest of the hall slip into a similar reverential mood, and faint murmurings filled the air. Prayer wasn’t exactly necessary, but I let them believe what they wanted. The only disturbance in that whirlpool of peace, was the disbeliever who still struggled on the carpet.
“By the power vested in me, Grace Natterly, I compel you to heal yourself! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up now!”
And she did.
She struggled at first, unused to the motions, then I felt the familiar tingle as my powers took over. No one else could see, but I saw the dancing motes of light swirl in the air, cling to her legs like fireflies. I heard the familiar crick of bones straightening, growing, and I saw the flesh fatten, bulk up with muscle. The deformities melted away, leaving only a completely unremarkable set of legs.
“I… I am healed…” she said, finally, quietly. She was flexing her toes, still swimming in that short flood of euphoria, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes.
The cheers erupted. Her family rushed up to her in celebration, and the others in line pressed forward, hungry, impatient, hopeful.
I turned to my detractor, who had fallen silent. The fight had sapped out of him, and a curious blankness covered his face. I waved away the security holding him down, then leaned in close.
“That’s… that’s impossible,” he said, shaking his head slowly, eyes wide.
“All you need, is a little bit of faith,” I said, smiling as I held out my hand.
---
/r/rarelyfunny
|
Jim kept chewing on his stupid pen. He just sat there, staring down at the case files.
"You keep sucking on that thing, the ink is gonna give you mouth cancer."
Jim sat back a little and took the pen out of his mouth. "Really? It helps me think."
I frowned. "No. Take the help you can get."
Jim flipped me off with the pen. "You're an asshole. You mind if I cut out early? Katy wants to practice driving in twilight."
I looked at the files and shrugged. Nobody was coming in tonight. "Yeah, sure. I might die of boredom. "
"Bullshit." He stood and turned, walking to the door. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Yeah, I need you for intake at ten. And Jim?"
He had one hand on the doorframe, still holding his thinking pen. "Yeah?"
"If you teach Katy as well as you taught me, she'll never be hurt in an accident."
Jim grinned and lobbed his pen into the wastebasket by my desk. "Thanks, man. But you're a natural."
|
|
[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
"Sally look, I know this year was really hard on you. I know you've been having trouble at home and I know you feel coming to school is a drag, but you can't keep going like this, it'll only get tougher as you grow!"
Sally rolled her eyes, just as she always did. This kid was always getting into trouble, be it hanging out with some shady people behind the school or skipping class. Her life wasn't all cherries and rainbows though. Her dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer two years ago and died last year. As a result her mother had to start working extra hard to provide for her and her older brother. Around that time she started skipping classes. She wasn't the brightest student but she did her job. Average grades, average social life, average everything honestly. But after her father's death everything started plummeting. At first it was her grades. She started failing in math and literature, and after a while her favorite subject, history. After that she started hanging out with sketchy kids outside of school, probably 5 years older than her. After that she stopped hanging out with her old friends, people who she hang out with since childhood.
"Look Mr. Oliver, I know this doesn't mean anything to you and you're just here to get your paycheck, so please leave me alone and get back to grading your shitty tests and stop interfering with my life."
"Sally that's not true and you know that. Look, I know it's hard. I lost someone too when I a bit younger than you. It was my little brother. He was always happy, always smiling and always had a lot of energy.". I started tearing up a bit. "I can still see him sitting in the living room reading that one superman comics I bought him as a birthday present over and over again. He used to hang on this one page with this big panel of superman flying to save someone falling from a building. It wasn't any fancy drawing or anything, just your regular panel. He said that panel looked really cool to him cause that was what superman was for him, saving anyone, even someone he isn't friends with."
Sally sat there in silence listening to my story. I could see a little embarrassment in her look.
"It's fine really, it's not something I tell anybody. It was a long time ago. I never really moved on, and I won't say it gets easier as the years go by, but I try to live for the both of us now."
"If it's not too rude to ask, how did he die?"
My voice cracked a bit. "He fell off the 4th floor balcony of our building". I can still see the red cape he wore that day.
"Look sally, I know it's gonna be hard. I know it hurts right now. I want you to know you can always come and talk to me openly about how you feel. And of course I don't want you flanking out and drifting out there like some kind of a mindless zombie. I'll tell you what. We'll tackle your favorite subject first, History, okay? We can study here together and I'm sure you'll be able to succeed in your exams!"
"Ok Mr. Oliver, but..." she hesitated. "but... can you keep this a secret? I really don't want everyone to know about this".
"Of course I won't! This is between you and me". She quickly got her bag and left. She ran to some of those kids she hangs with, probably told them I was yelling at her for skipping class so much. As I watched her go I saw her turn around and nod to me. That was enough for me to know she's gonna be okay.
I glanced at the clock and noticed it was already 7pm, I packed my belongings and drove home. On the way back I paid a visit to the old playground me and my brother used to play in. The big yellow plastic house was still there, with the big tree next to it and the few slides that already lost their colors from standing too long in the sun. I stood by the house, it had two floors, it was around my height, suited for children to play in. I touched the fading yellow plastic walls. "Remember Sally? I think I got to her today. I know she's a good child but I couldn't really think of a good way to approach her until today. She was a bit feisty at the start but I guess she realizes that she's not in a good place right now, and she doesn't know how to get out of it. I think I can help her. I know I can. I will." After standing there in silence for a few minutes I turned back and went home.
I drove silently thinking back at the time when we were playing together back there, you standing on top of that yellow roof. We were playing pretend and I said to you "if you'll jump you can fly!". The moment your feet left that roof your body just started floating around the tree like it was a rope swing. You were so excited that you could fly you screamed at the top of your lungs "I can fly! I'm Superman!". I was baffled myself at what just happened and honestly I was sure there was some kind of a trick but you really were flying.
I got home and had a letter waiting for me in the mailbox. A former student. Joshua Lenn. He was a bright kid with a bright future ahead of him, he was successful in almost anything he did when he was younger and you could really see the spark in his eyes when he talked about physics.He was from a really strict family. He had a mental breakdown due to huge amount of pressure from his family to be a doctor. He really wanted to go into physics but his parents already has set their mind on him going into medicine. He had a really hard time recovering from that breakdown, his memory started worsening, he was exhausted from morning to evening, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, he was so afraid about his future and what he was going to do with his life, about how he didn't want to live a predetermined life that he had no control over whatsoever that it brought him even further into his developing depression. I remember having long discussions with him after school about life, what it means to be human, what it means to live your own life and where we can go. We could talk about anything from Descartes to Rihana, he especially loved our talks about advancements in the space industry, how one of his big dreams was to work on engines that could take us to other star systems.
I got to my apartment and I opened the letter.
>
> Hi Mr. Oliver
>
> I know it has been about 10 years since I've graduated but I just wanted you to know that I got a job at NASA working on some of their new age engines! These won't take us to other stars but are supposed to help us get to mars sooner!
>
> I opened my yearbook a few weeks ago and as I flipped through the pages I saw your picture as out homeroom teacher.
>
> I remembered all of our long hour talks and I got really nostalgic. I wanted to contact you but I realized you still haven't set up an email address so I wrote you this letter.
>
> I guess I just wanted to say thank you for being there for me.
>
> J.L.
I read the letter with a big smile on my face. I opened my cabinet, revealing other letters, sent by my other students and above them all, the panel with Superman saving the guy from falling off a building.
---
Still trying this thing out, I hope it's good. I tried going more into detail. Any criticism is welcome. Thank you for reading!
*Edit: say to saw in the letter
|
Absurdity. Never underestimate the power of a crazy idea. They saw it. They all saw it, Buddha, Hitler, Trump, Tesla, and more, thousands more. I see it too. I mean look at our world. Pick up two pieces of rock, hard and unyielding, and smash them together and you get a spark. From the coldest stone comes 5000 degrees flying of into the night with just a small flick of the wrist. Get that spark to land on a dry plant, a living being striving to expand and grow, and you get an inferno. Isn't that just ape shit crazy?
Look, look, look, it's like some. Kid made it up
Rock plus rock equals spark. Spark plus plants equals fire. Fire burns plants and melts rock. That's what it's all about, a cosmic children's game and we are stuck in the middle, wondering when Victor the 5 year old will get bored and kick sand over our existence.
And don't get me started on birds. That's just as crazy. Huge fucking dino monster's are now stupid little chickens. Insane.
Nothing in this world is impossible, nothing. That doesn't mean you can't make predictions or force infinity down a bottleneck. Like right now... You have 3 choices, and only 3. But to show you again what I mean about how everything is, I'm going to tell your future. Pick a path I dare you.
Path 1. You upvote this post. You upvote this post because you though it was charming or whatever and your day is better for reading it. You upvote it and all the rest of the week you feel inspired, and active, and you start tackling the pile of shit you call your life and you get together and you make something out of yourself. You get the ball rolling. And. You. Don't. Stop.
Path 2. You down vote this post. You get a sick little thrill for doing it, but after you do, you will begin evaluating your life and just how Petty you are. After a few days you'll come to the realization that you need a change. And so you will start, and you will grow and progress and bloom. You will become a great driving force in your own life all to make yourself, your family, your city, your world better. And you'll do it to.
Or oath 3. You do nothing. You do nothing. Nothing. And then 6 moths down the road you will realize that that's all you have ever done. Nothing. Stupid, fat, useless, ugly, unfriendly, nothing. Your life a butterfat lies and all you do is eat them up, shit them out, and swallow the same lies all over again. Six months from now you will look in a mirror and decide enough is enough. And you'll change. Not because you have to, but because anything, anything is better than another meal of deceitful cupcakes.
That's my prediction. And it's now your choice, So go ahead. Make a choice. Do it, I dare ya.
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[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
We were both 14 at the time, my best friend Rand and I sat contentedly on the branches of the highest tree in our neighbourhood, while some of the other, more cautious kids looked up in awe from the ground.
“You can see the whole city from here!” I realised, amazed by a view that young me had never seen before.
“I can see my house from here”, Rand quipped, unfazed by the wonders spread below us.
We sat together for a companionable while, but young as we were the novelty gradually wore off. I glanced at the ground, dizzyingly far away and now empty of an audience. Getting down was going to take a while. I glanced over at Rand, and joked “dare you to get to the bottom in less than 5 seconds”.
I didn’t mean it of course, why on earth would I mean something like that? But the challenge in my voice obviously swayed Rand, who gave me a considering look. After a moment the doubt cleared from his face and he broke into a grin, before taking off with a shout: “race you to the bottom!”.
Of course getting to the top of a tree and getting back to the bottom are two completely different things, as anyone who’s ever climbed one will know, so naturally I started down hesitantly, feeling my way with my feet for the steadier branches below, but a cautious glance down took my breath away: there was Rand, hopping lightly from branch to branch as if pulled to each one by a constantly-shifting gravity. I wish I’d timed it, but surely not more than 3 seconds had passed before he took a leap that – realistically – should have broken at least 1 bone and landed feet-first on the ground, grinning up at me and only slightly out of breath.
It took me 2 whole minutes to climb down.
2 days later I got the news: my best friend had tried the same daredevil feat again, but the result had changed. Part of me suspected what had happened, and from then on my fear of a recurrence kept me well away from asking people to do the impossible.
**15 Years On**
Nobody expected it when the troopers crossed the border. There was no way our neighbouring country had declared war on us, was there? Relations were so friendly, it surely had to be some kind of false flag operation. Regardless, their allegiance didn’t matter, what mattered was that our army barely had time to mobilise in defense before the shock troops started marching through our streets, killing soldier and civilians alike. Not knowing what to do but knowing I had to do *something*, I found myself in the streets, looking for a group of our people. Of course I’d served my year of mandatory army service, so I at least knew one end of a weapon from the other, and spotting a barricade of our soldiers I skidded over, grabbing a gun from one of the fallen on arrival. One of the soldiers looked at me dubiously, but obviously accepting how outnumbered they were, accepted my support.
We made our stand there, behind a wall that felt far too flimsy as grenade after grenade flew over us, occasionally hitting the wall or, worse, one of our people. How many grenades did they have?
“This is hopeless!” cried one of the younger soldiers, despairing. “It’s just a matter of time now before we’re all killed, there’s no way we’ll win…it’s impossible”. With that he collapsed heavily against the battered wall and let out a sob.
*Impossible*… the word seemed to whisper to me as if from ages past, and I found myself looking up to find a tree that had been cleared from this block years ago. What had I to lose now?
I turned to the first soldier who’d looked at me, he seemed to be their commander, and gulped. “It may not be impossible, we do have a chance.”
The commander looked at me, sceptical yet open to suggestions.
“You see, I think I have this…ability…when I convince people to try the impossible, they can do it. I don’t know why, but it works.”
“Uh huh”, the commander said, his expression grim, and turned back to the enemy, “well, top marks for trying to bring some humour to the situation at least.”
“I’m being serious, we can really do this! What have we got to lose?”
“And how many times have you tested this…ability?”
I winced, “just once, 15 years ago”.
The commander lobbed a grenade of his own at the enemy. Where had he gotten that? “I’ll tell you what we’ve got to lose, our dignity.”
Another grenade flew at the enemy, met by three of their own. Once again the commander reconsidered. “Alright, convince me to do something, but it’d better work”.
I paused, I’d never actually tested my ability – telling the commander I had hadn’t even been strictly true, that had just happened by chance. How did it work? Would just saying ‘defeat the enemy’ do it? Maybe I had to put a timer on it or something like that. Well, it was worth a shot.
“Uh, dare you to defeat the enemy in 2 minutes or less?”.
He sighed, somehow mixing defeat, determination, and disgust into one sound, before looking at his watch and standing up, machine gun in hand.
To give him credit, he actually took down a fair few of the troopers before taking a bullet himself. He grunted as he fell back behind our barricade. “Knew it was a joke, how much dignity do I still have?”
It was a fool’s hope, and I wondered what had gone wrong. Was the task too impossible, or not impossible enough? Resigned, I put my own weapon above the barricade again and began shooting blind, determined to take as many with me as I could. Out of nowhere, a voice piped up beside me, “you weren’t really joking though, were you?”
I stopped shooting and looked to my side where the frightened soldier from before now crouched, eyes still red and scared, but now with something else I couldn’t identify.
“No”, I sighed, “I wasn’t joking”.
The young soldier poked his head over the barricade to look at the swarm around us, finally moving in for a flanking manoeuvre now that we’d been softened up.
“Tell me to do something then”.
I looked at him, did I really want to be directly responsible for this soldier’s death? Would it matter if he died anyway?
“Ok, we’ll try again, dare you to win this in 2 minutes or less”.
The youngster grinned at me weakly, he couldn’t be more than the minimum recruiting age, and leapt up and over the barricade.
The sight that greeted me when I poked my own head over the barricade burned in my memory forever: the soldier moved easily over, under and around enemy bullets and the explosions of grenades as he fired shot after shot, each finding its mark in an enemy trooper. As he ran out of bullets, he began picking up the unfamiliar weapons of the enemy and using those to devastating effect as well, and while I knew I should be helping, I couldn’t tear my gaze away from the sights I was seeing. It didn’t matter anyway; in 1 minute and 57 seconds, he’d managed to take out an entire platoon.
“I knew it!” he cried triumphantly as he looked back to me, “I knew you were telling the truth!”.
As a breeze blew past me I could almost hear the sound of leaves blowing in the wind, taking me back to that day 15 years ago, and with it a bittersweet truth: the reason Rand had been able to do what he did and bring my ability to life was because of one thing only: he believed in me.
|
Absurdity. Never underestimate the power of a crazy idea. They saw it. They all saw it, Buddha, Hitler, Trump, Tesla, and more, thousands more. I see it too. I mean look at our world. Pick up two pieces of rock, hard and unyielding, and smash them together and you get a spark. From the coldest stone comes 5000 degrees flying of into the night with just a small flick of the wrist. Get that spark to land on a dry plant, a living being striving to expand and grow, and you get an inferno. Isn't that just ape shit crazy?
Look, look, look, it's like some. Kid made it up
Rock plus rock equals spark. Spark plus plants equals fire. Fire burns plants and melts rock. That's what it's all about, a cosmic children's game and we are stuck in the middle, wondering when Victor the 5 year old will get bored and kick sand over our existence.
And don't get me started on birds. That's just as crazy. Huge fucking dino monster's are now stupid little chickens. Insane.
Nothing in this world is impossible, nothing. That doesn't mean you can't make predictions or force infinity down a bottleneck. Like right now... You have 3 choices, and only 3. But to show you again what I mean about how everything is, I'm going to tell your future. Pick a path I dare you.
Path 1. You upvote this post. You upvote this post because you though it was charming or whatever and your day is better for reading it. You upvote it and all the rest of the week you feel inspired, and active, and you start tackling the pile of shit you call your life and you get together and you make something out of yourself. You get the ball rolling. And. You. Don't. Stop.
Path 2. You down vote this post. You get a sick little thrill for doing it, but after you do, you will begin evaluating your life and just how Petty you are. After a few days you'll come to the realization that you need a change. And so you will start, and you will grow and progress and bloom. You will become a great driving force in your own life all to make yourself, your family, your city, your world better. And you'll do it to.
Or oath 3. You do nothing. You do nothing. Nothing. And then 6 moths down the road you will realize that that's all you have ever done. Nothing. Stupid, fat, useless, ugly, unfriendly, nothing. Your life a butterfat lies and all you do is eat them up, shit them out, and swallow the same lies all over again. Six months from now you will look in a mirror and decide enough is enough. And you'll change. Not because you have to, but because anything, anything is better than another meal of deceitful cupcakes.
That's my prediction. And it's now your choice, So go ahead. Make a choice. Do it, I dare ya.
|
|
[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
“You’re a cheat, a fraud!” he shouted, having ducked under my line of security holding off the adoring crowds. He shoved me rudely backwards, and I felt him spit in my face.
The hall went silent, and a thousand camera flashes lit up as my fans started snapping away. Far more common in the early days, not so much now, it had been some time since the last heckler attempted to disrupt my services.
“What’s your name?” I asked, after security had tackled him to the ground, holding him in an arm lock. He stared back defiantly, murder in his eyes.
“I hate people like you,” he seethed, “you prey on the gullible, exploit their dreams, crush their hopes! I hope you burn in hell!”
In the past, I would have begged for him to give me a chance, let me prove myself. I would have trotted out recordings of the precious few times I had successfully applied my powers, shown him that I really could convince people to do the extraordinary, once I managed to persuade them to even try. I would have persisted until my throat was raw, my knees were bruised.
Now, it was much easier. I just had to let him see for himself.
“Who amongst you is afflicted? Who can I help today?” I said, turning to address the crowds. My hands were raised, my voice boomed across the hall.
A hundred, two hundred hands shot up in the air, as applause rang out. The first in line, a young girl in a wheelchair, rolled up to me. I wasn’t a doctor, but I didn’t need to be one to infer from her withered, twisted legs what she was seeking today.
“What’s your name?”
“I’m Grace Natterly, please, please heal me!”
I held her hands, closed my eyes. I felt the rest of the hall slip into a similar reverential mood, and faint murmurings filled the air. Prayer wasn’t exactly necessary, but I let them believe what they wanted. The only disturbance in that whirlpool of peace, was the disbeliever who still struggled on the carpet.
“By the power vested in me, Grace Natterly, I compel you to heal yourself! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up now!”
And she did.
She struggled at first, unused to the motions, then I felt the familiar tingle as my powers took over. No one else could see, but I saw the dancing motes of light swirl in the air, cling to her legs like fireflies. I heard the familiar crick of bones straightening, growing, and I saw the flesh fatten, bulk up with muscle. The deformities melted away, leaving only a completely unremarkable set of legs.
“I… I am healed…” she said, finally, quietly. She was flexing her toes, still swimming in that short flood of euphoria, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes.
The cheers erupted. Her family rushed up to her in celebration, and the others in line pressed forward, hungry, impatient, hopeful.
I turned to my detractor, who had fallen silent. The fight had sapped out of him, and a curious blankness covered his face. I waved away the security holding him down, then leaned in close.
“That’s… that’s impossible,” he said, shaking his head slowly, eyes wide.
“All you need, is a little bit of faith,” I said, smiling as I held out my hand.
---
/r/rarelyfunny
|
Absurdity. Never underestimate the power of a crazy idea. They saw it. They all saw it, Buddha, Hitler, Trump, Tesla, and more, thousands more. I see it too. I mean look at our world. Pick up two pieces of rock, hard and unyielding, and smash them together and you get a spark. From the coldest stone comes 5000 degrees flying of into the night with just a small flick of the wrist. Get that spark to land on a dry plant, a living being striving to expand and grow, and you get an inferno. Isn't that just ape shit crazy?
Look, look, look, it's like some. Kid made it up
Rock plus rock equals spark. Spark plus plants equals fire. Fire burns plants and melts rock. That's what it's all about, a cosmic children's game and we are stuck in the middle, wondering when Victor the 5 year old will get bored and kick sand over our existence.
And don't get me started on birds. That's just as crazy. Huge fucking dino monster's are now stupid little chickens. Insane.
Nothing in this world is impossible, nothing. That doesn't mean you can't make predictions or force infinity down a bottleneck. Like right now... You have 3 choices, and only 3. But to show you again what I mean about how everything is, I'm going to tell your future. Pick a path I dare you.
Path 1. You upvote this post. You upvote this post because you though it was charming or whatever and your day is better for reading it. You upvote it and all the rest of the week you feel inspired, and active, and you start tackling the pile of shit you call your life and you get together and you make something out of yourself. You get the ball rolling. And. You. Don't. Stop.
Path 2. You down vote this post. You get a sick little thrill for doing it, but after you do, you will begin evaluating your life and just how Petty you are. After a few days you'll come to the realization that you need a change. And so you will start, and you will grow and progress and bloom. You will become a great driving force in your own life all to make yourself, your family, your city, your world better. And you'll do it to.
Or oath 3. You do nothing. You do nothing. Nothing. And then 6 moths down the road you will realize that that's all you have ever done. Nothing. Stupid, fat, useless, ugly, unfriendly, nothing. Your life a butterfat lies and all you do is eat them up, shit them out, and swallow the same lies all over again. Six months from now you will look in a mirror and decide enough is enough. And you'll change. Not because you have to, but because anything, anything is better than another meal of deceitful cupcakes.
That's my prediction. And it's now your choice, So go ahead. Make a choice. Do it, I dare ya.
|
|
[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
"Sally look, I know this year was really hard on you. I know you've been having trouble at home and I know you feel coming to school is a drag, but you can't keep going like this, it'll only get tougher as you grow!"
Sally rolled her eyes, just as she always did. This kid was always getting into trouble, be it hanging out with some shady people behind the school or skipping class. Her life wasn't all cherries and rainbows though. Her dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer two years ago and died last year. As a result her mother had to start working extra hard to provide for her and her older brother. Around that time she started skipping classes. She wasn't the brightest student but she did her job. Average grades, average social life, average everything honestly. But after her father's death everything started plummeting. At first it was her grades. She started failing in math and literature, and after a while her favorite subject, history. After that she started hanging out with sketchy kids outside of school, probably 5 years older than her. After that she stopped hanging out with her old friends, people who she hang out with since childhood.
"Look Mr. Oliver, I know this doesn't mean anything to you and you're just here to get your paycheck, so please leave me alone and get back to grading your shitty tests and stop interfering with my life."
"Sally that's not true and you know that. Look, I know it's hard. I lost someone too when I a bit younger than you. It was my little brother. He was always happy, always smiling and always had a lot of energy.". I started tearing up a bit. "I can still see him sitting in the living room reading that one superman comics I bought him as a birthday present over and over again. He used to hang on this one page with this big panel of superman flying to save someone falling from a building. It wasn't any fancy drawing or anything, just your regular panel. He said that panel looked really cool to him cause that was what superman was for him, saving anyone, even someone he isn't friends with."
Sally sat there in silence listening to my story. I could see a little embarrassment in her look.
"It's fine really, it's not something I tell anybody. It was a long time ago. I never really moved on, and I won't say it gets easier as the years go by, but I try to live for the both of us now."
"If it's not too rude to ask, how did he die?"
My voice cracked a bit. "He fell off the 4th floor balcony of our building". I can still see the red cape he wore that day.
"Look sally, I know it's gonna be hard. I know it hurts right now. I want you to know you can always come and talk to me openly about how you feel. And of course I don't want you flanking out and drifting out there like some kind of a mindless zombie. I'll tell you what. We'll tackle your favorite subject first, History, okay? We can study here together and I'm sure you'll be able to succeed in your exams!"
"Ok Mr. Oliver, but..." she hesitated. "but... can you keep this a secret? I really don't want everyone to know about this".
"Of course I won't! This is between you and me". She quickly got her bag and left. She ran to some of those kids she hangs with, probably told them I was yelling at her for skipping class so much. As I watched her go I saw her turn around and nod to me. That was enough for me to know she's gonna be okay.
I glanced at the clock and noticed it was already 7pm, I packed my belongings and drove home. On the way back I paid a visit to the old playground me and my brother used to play in. The big yellow plastic house was still there, with the big tree next to it and the few slides that already lost their colors from standing too long in the sun. I stood by the house, it had two floors, it was around my height, suited for children to play in. I touched the fading yellow plastic walls. "Remember Sally? I think I got to her today. I know she's a good child but I couldn't really think of a good way to approach her until today. She was a bit feisty at the start but I guess she realizes that she's not in a good place right now, and she doesn't know how to get out of it. I think I can help her. I know I can. I will." After standing there in silence for a few minutes I turned back and went home.
I drove silently thinking back at the time when we were playing together back there, you standing on top of that yellow roof. We were playing pretend and I said to you "if you'll jump you can fly!". The moment your feet left that roof your body just started floating around the tree like it was a rope swing. You were so excited that you could fly you screamed at the top of your lungs "I can fly! I'm Superman!". I was baffled myself at what just happened and honestly I was sure there was some kind of a trick but you really were flying.
I got home and had a letter waiting for me in the mailbox. A former student. Joshua Lenn. He was a bright kid with a bright future ahead of him, he was successful in almost anything he did when he was younger and you could really see the spark in his eyes when he talked about physics.He was from a really strict family. He had a mental breakdown due to huge amount of pressure from his family to be a doctor. He really wanted to go into physics but his parents already has set their mind on him going into medicine. He had a really hard time recovering from that breakdown, his memory started worsening, he was exhausted from morning to evening, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, he was so afraid about his future and what he was going to do with his life, about how he didn't want to live a predetermined life that he had no control over whatsoever that it brought him even further into his developing depression. I remember having long discussions with him after school about life, what it means to be human, what it means to live your own life and where we can go. We could talk about anything from Descartes to Rihana, he especially loved our talks about advancements in the space industry, how one of his big dreams was to work on engines that could take us to other star systems.
I got to my apartment and I opened the letter.
>
> Hi Mr. Oliver
>
> I know it has been about 10 years since I've graduated but I just wanted you to know that I got a job at NASA working on some of their new age engines! These won't take us to other stars but are supposed to help us get to mars sooner!
>
> I opened my yearbook a few weeks ago and as I flipped through the pages I saw your picture as out homeroom teacher.
>
> I remembered all of our long hour talks and I got really nostalgic. I wanted to contact you but I realized you still haven't set up an email address so I wrote you this letter.
>
> I guess I just wanted to say thank you for being there for me.
>
> J.L.
I read the letter with a big smile on my face. I opened my cabinet, revealing other letters, sent by my other students and above them all, the panel with Superman saving the guy from falling off a building.
---
Still trying this thing out, I hope it's good. I tried going more into detail. Any criticism is welcome. Thank you for reading!
*Edit: say to saw in the letter
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Over the years I have accomplished so much. When I first learned of my powers in high school I was not the best student. Constantly convincing friends to throw raging parties or jump their vehicles over things. They'd always be dumb enough to listen to my crazy ideas and we would always pull through it unscathed.
I've grown a lot since high school. In college after my friend was assaulted during a party I instigated I convinced him to go to the police. That everything would work out that the person would be caught and justice would be served. That he would heal. And that is what happened. It actually changed me helping him. Helped me move towards a life of helping people. A goal in college instead of partying.
I help those that have been hurt. Any kind of pain. I help them heal. All they have to do is listen and follow my instructions. Becoming a doctor has helped me convince them to listen. This is my power. This is my greatest strength. Why I was gifted with it will always baffle me but I will use it for the rest of my life for this purpose. My days of partying are behind me. I look into the mirror every single morning and tell myself just that. Guide them and they will be saved. Say whatever it takes to convince them. You will help them all. This is your gift. Use it.
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[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
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"Ffffffeck..." slurred Brian as he negotiated the revolving door outside Manhattan's World Bar. Convincing Will to head to the east side to sample the world's most expensive cocktail hadn't been easy, but Brian found that once he got an assent from Will, it had quickly snowballed into maxxing out Will's corporate card ordering the damned things.
And snowball it did. As Brian stumbled out of the revolving door, he waltzed right into one of Manhattan's most famous real estate developers.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" the developer asked, wiping a mixture of expensive liquor and gold leaf from his startlingly ill-fitting tie. Brian hated it when people who should know better wore their ties hanging over their belt buckle.
Brian swore again, this time catching himself and producing a handkerchief that he tried, unsuccessfully, to use to clean up the man he had just run into.
"Shorry about that, man..." Brian intimated. The man scoffed.
"Heyyyy, you know...I've alwaysh thought you were an ashhole, but you should run for Prrrreshident, Mishter Trump..."
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Over the years I have accomplished so much. When I first learned of my powers in high school I was not the best student. Constantly convincing friends to throw raging parties or jump their vehicles over things. They'd always be dumb enough to listen to my crazy ideas and we would always pull through it unscathed.
I've grown a lot since high school. In college after my friend was assaulted during a party I instigated I convinced him to go to the police. That everything would work out that the person would be caught and justice would be served. That he would heal. And that is what happened. It actually changed me helping him. Helped me move towards a life of helping people. A goal in college instead of partying.
I help those that have been hurt. Any kind of pain. I help them heal. All they have to do is listen and follow my instructions. Becoming a doctor has helped me convince them to listen. This is my power. This is my greatest strength. Why I was gifted with it will always baffle me but I will use it for the rest of my life for this purpose. My days of partying are behind me. I look into the mirror every single morning and tell myself just that. Guide them and they will be saved. Say whatever it takes to convince them. You will help them all. This is your gift. Use it.
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[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
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We were both 14 at the time, my best friend Rand and I sat contentedly on the branches of the highest tree in our neighbourhood, while some of the other, more cautious kids looked up in awe from the ground.
“You can see the whole city from here!” I realised, amazed by a view that young me had never seen before.
“I can see my house from here”, Rand quipped, unfazed by the wonders spread below us.
We sat together for a companionable while, but young as we were the novelty gradually wore off. I glanced at the ground, dizzyingly far away and now empty of an audience. Getting down was going to take a while. I glanced over at Rand, and joked “dare you to get to the bottom in less than 5 seconds”.
I didn’t mean it of course, why on earth would I mean something like that? But the challenge in my voice obviously swayed Rand, who gave me a considering look. After a moment the doubt cleared from his face and he broke into a grin, before taking off with a shout: “race you to the bottom!”.
Of course getting to the top of a tree and getting back to the bottom are two completely different things, as anyone who’s ever climbed one will know, so naturally I started down hesitantly, feeling my way with my feet for the steadier branches below, but a cautious glance down took my breath away: there was Rand, hopping lightly from branch to branch as if pulled to each one by a constantly-shifting gravity. I wish I’d timed it, but surely not more than 3 seconds had passed before he took a leap that – realistically – should have broken at least 1 bone and landed feet-first on the ground, grinning up at me and only slightly out of breath.
It took me 2 whole minutes to climb down.
2 days later I got the news: my best friend had tried the same daredevil feat again, but the result had changed. Part of me suspected what had happened, and from then on my fear of a recurrence kept me well away from asking people to do the impossible.
**15 Years On**
Nobody expected it when the troopers crossed the border. There was no way our neighbouring country had declared war on us, was there? Relations were so friendly, it surely had to be some kind of false flag operation. Regardless, their allegiance didn’t matter, what mattered was that our army barely had time to mobilise in defense before the shock troops started marching through our streets, killing soldier and civilians alike. Not knowing what to do but knowing I had to do *something*, I found myself in the streets, looking for a group of our people. Of course I’d served my year of mandatory army service, so I at least knew one end of a weapon from the other, and spotting a barricade of our soldiers I skidded over, grabbing a gun from one of the fallen on arrival. One of the soldiers looked at me dubiously, but obviously accepting how outnumbered they were, accepted my support.
We made our stand there, behind a wall that felt far too flimsy as grenade after grenade flew over us, occasionally hitting the wall or, worse, one of our people. How many grenades did they have?
“This is hopeless!” cried one of the younger soldiers, despairing. “It’s just a matter of time now before we’re all killed, there’s no way we’ll win…it’s impossible”. With that he collapsed heavily against the battered wall and let out a sob.
*Impossible*… the word seemed to whisper to me as if from ages past, and I found myself looking up to find a tree that had been cleared from this block years ago. What had I to lose now?
I turned to the first soldier who’d looked at me, he seemed to be their commander, and gulped. “It may not be impossible, we do have a chance.”
The commander looked at me, sceptical yet open to suggestions.
“You see, I think I have this…ability…when I convince people to try the impossible, they can do it. I don’t know why, but it works.”
“Uh huh”, the commander said, his expression grim, and turned back to the enemy, “well, top marks for trying to bring some humour to the situation at least.”
“I’m being serious, we can really do this! What have we got to lose?”
“And how many times have you tested this…ability?”
I winced, “just once, 15 years ago”.
The commander lobbed a grenade of his own at the enemy. Where had he gotten that? “I’ll tell you what we’ve got to lose, our dignity.”
Another grenade flew at the enemy, met by three of their own. Once again the commander reconsidered. “Alright, convince me to do something, but it’d better work”.
I paused, I’d never actually tested my ability – telling the commander I had hadn’t even been strictly true, that had just happened by chance. How did it work? Would just saying ‘defeat the enemy’ do it? Maybe I had to put a timer on it or something like that. Well, it was worth a shot.
“Uh, dare you to defeat the enemy in 2 minutes or less?”.
He sighed, somehow mixing defeat, determination, and disgust into one sound, before looking at his watch and standing up, machine gun in hand.
To give him credit, he actually took down a fair few of the troopers before taking a bullet himself. He grunted as he fell back behind our barricade. “Knew it was a joke, how much dignity do I still have?”
It was a fool’s hope, and I wondered what had gone wrong. Was the task too impossible, or not impossible enough? Resigned, I put my own weapon above the barricade again and began shooting blind, determined to take as many with me as I could. Out of nowhere, a voice piped up beside me, “you weren’t really joking though, were you?”
I stopped shooting and looked to my side where the frightened soldier from before now crouched, eyes still red and scared, but now with something else I couldn’t identify.
“No”, I sighed, “I wasn’t joking”.
The young soldier poked his head over the barricade to look at the swarm around us, finally moving in for a flanking manoeuvre now that we’d been softened up.
“Tell me to do something then”.
I looked at him, did I really want to be directly responsible for this soldier’s death? Would it matter if he died anyway?
“Ok, we’ll try again, dare you to win this in 2 minutes or less”.
The youngster grinned at me weakly, he couldn’t be more than the minimum recruiting age, and leapt up and over the barricade.
The sight that greeted me when I poked my own head over the barricade burned in my memory forever: the soldier moved easily over, under and around enemy bullets and the explosions of grenades as he fired shot after shot, each finding its mark in an enemy trooper. As he ran out of bullets, he began picking up the unfamiliar weapons of the enemy and using those to devastating effect as well, and while I knew I should be helping, I couldn’t tear my gaze away from the sights I was seeing. It didn’t matter anyway; in 1 minute and 57 seconds, he’d managed to take out an entire platoon.
“I knew it!” he cried triumphantly as he looked back to me, “I knew you were telling the truth!”.
As a breeze blew past me I could almost hear the sound of leaves blowing in the wind, taking me back to that day 15 years ago, and with it a bittersweet truth: the reason Rand had been able to do what he did and bring my ability to life was because of one thing only: he believed in me.
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Over the years I have accomplished so much. When I first learned of my powers in high school I was not the best student. Constantly convincing friends to throw raging parties or jump their vehicles over things. They'd always be dumb enough to listen to my crazy ideas and we would always pull through it unscathed.
I've grown a lot since high school. In college after my friend was assaulted during a party I instigated I convinced him to go to the police. That everything would work out that the person would be caught and justice would be served. That he would heal. And that is what happened. It actually changed me helping him. Helped me move towards a life of helping people. A goal in college instead of partying.
I help those that have been hurt. Any kind of pain. I help them heal. All they have to do is listen and follow my instructions. Becoming a doctor has helped me convince them to listen. This is my power. This is my greatest strength. Why I was gifted with it will always baffle me but I will use it for the rest of my life for this purpose. My days of partying are behind me. I look into the mirror every single morning and tell myself just that. Guide them and they will be saved. Say whatever it takes to convince them. You will help them all. This is your gift. Use it.
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[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
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“You’re a cheat, a fraud!” he shouted, having ducked under my line of security holding off the adoring crowds. He shoved me rudely backwards, and I felt him spit in my face.
The hall went silent, and a thousand camera flashes lit up as my fans started snapping away. Far more common in the early days, not so much now, it had been some time since the last heckler attempted to disrupt my services.
“What’s your name?” I asked, after security had tackled him to the ground, holding him in an arm lock. He stared back defiantly, murder in his eyes.
“I hate people like you,” he seethed, “you prey on the gullible, exploit their dreams, crush their hopes! I hope you burn in hell!”
In the past, I would have begged for him to give me a chance, let me prove myself. I would have trotted out recordings of the precious few times I had successfully applied my powers, shown him that I really could convince people to do the extraordinary, once I managed to persuade them to even try. I would have persisted until my throat was raw, my knees were bruised.
Now, it was much easier. I just had to let him see for himself.
“Who amongst you is afflicted? Who can I help today?” I said, turning to address the crowds. My hands were raised, my voice boomed across the hall.
A hundred, two hundred hands shot up in the air, as applause rang out. The first in line, a young girl in a wheelchair, rolled up to me. I wasn’t a doctor, but I didn’t need to be one to infer from her withered, twisted legs what she was seeking today.
“What’s your name?”
“I’m Grace Natterly, please, please heal me!”
I held her hands, closed my eyes. I felt the rest of the hall slip into a similar reverential mood, and faint murmurings filled the air. Prayer wasn’t exactly necessary, but I let them believe what they wanted. The only disturbance in that whirlpool of peace, was the disbeliever who still struggled on the carpet.
“By the power vested in me, Grace Natterly, I compel you to heal yourself! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up now!”
And she did.
She struggled at first, unused to the motions, then I felt the familiar tingle as my powers took over. No one else could see, but I saw the dancing motes of light swirl in the air, cling to her legs like fireflies. I heard the familiar crick of bones straightening, growing, and I saw the flesh fatten, bulk up with muscle. The deformities melted away, leaving only a completely unremarkable set of legs.
“I… I am healed…” she said, finally, quietly. She was flexing her toes, still swimming in that short flood of euphoria, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes.
The cheers erupted. Her family rushed up to her in celebration, and the others in line pressed forward, hungry, impatient, hopeful.
I turned to my detractor, who had fallen silent. The fight had sapped out of him, and a curious blankness covered his face. I waved away the security holding him down, then leaned in close.
“That’s… that’s impossible,” he said, shaking his head slowly, eyes wide.
“All you need, is a little bit of faith,” I said, smiling as I held out my hand.
---
/r/rarelyfunny
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Over the years I have accomplished so much. When I first learned of my powers in high school I was not the best student. Constantly convincing friends to throw raging parties or jump their vehicles over things. They'd always be dumb enough to listen to my crazy ideas and we would always pull through it unscathed.
I've grown a lot since high school. In college after my friend was assaulted during a party I instigated I convinced him to go to the police. That everything would work out that the person would be caught and justice would be served. That he would heal. And that is what happened. It actually changed me helping him. Helped me move towards a life of helping people. A goal in college instead of partying.
I help those that have been hurt. Any kind of pain. I help them heal. All they have to do is listen and follow my instructions. Becoming a doctor has helped me convince them to listen. This is my power. This is my greatest strength. Why I was gifted with it will always baffle me but I will use it for the rest of my life for this purpose. My days of partying are behind me. I look into the mirror every single morning and tell myself just that. Guide them and they will be saved. Say whatever it takes to convince them. You will help them all. This is your gift. Use it.
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[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
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The man on the ledge reeked of old booze and stale vomit, enough for me to smell him from ten paces away. Not your typical drunk however, judging by the suit; a week or so ago, it had been a respectable business number, probably complete with a crisp shirt and a smart tie. I could see that the shirt lost a number of buttons since, and acquired questionable stains, and the tie went missing altogether.
"Don't. No closer. I'll jump. I'm not kidding." He winced and swayed as he spoke.
I shrugged and leaned against the roof access door.
"Suit yourself, partner. Jump. Or don't. You are not dying today."
"Wrong!" he swayed again. "I'll do it! We are fifty stories up, there's nothing anyone can do!.." Below, the Strip churned, shone, sparkled and blinked. Just another day in paradise.
"You don't understand. I... I thought I could stop. I *almost* stopped. I just... I needed... more..." For a moment I thought he'd start to whimper and back away from the ledge, and we could solve things quietly. No such luck however. He kept blabbing, the standard suicidal drivel of a gambling addict down on his luck.
"Hey!" I snapped my fingers and he stared at me wide-eyed. "Will you ever get on with it? So you fucked up. You ALWAYS fuck up. And you'll fuck this up too. Want to know what'll happen now? You'll jump. You'll fall fifty fucking stories, land on an empty car, ruin it, and walk away with one hell of a bruised ass and not a single broken bone. Get it? You're about to fuck up your own suicide. I'm not here to talk you out of it. I'm here to talk you *into* it, watch and fucking laugh."
He blinked slowly, once, twice.
"Fuck. You. You're crazy. What kind of a negotiator are you anyway?"
"I'm not. You see a badge anywhere? For all you know, I'm the tooth fairy. You know what's funny? You can't even stop yourself thinking about what I said just now, can you? You're gonna attempt suicide by jumping fifty stories, and you're gonna FUCK IT UP. All this to ruin some poor slob's car. C'mon then, loser. I got places to be."
"Fuck. You."
Credit where credit's due - he did not scream on the way down, or at least not so much that I could hear him. From below, came a distant thud and an indignant blare of a car alarm. I walked the ten paces to the ledge and peered over just in time to see him kneeling in the street next to a ruined cab, uniforms and paramedics rushing towards him.
The phone in my pocket trilled.
"Mahoney? We've got him. Come on down."
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Over the years I have accomplished so much. When I first learned of my powers in high school I was not the best student. Constantly convincing friends to throw raging parties or jump their vehicles over things. They'd always be dumb enough to listen to my crazy ideas and we would always pull through it unscathed.
I've grown a lot since high school. In college after my friend was assaulted during a party I instigated I convinced him to go to the police. That everything would work out that the person would be caught and justice would be served. That he would heal. And that is what happened. It actually changed me helping him. Helped me move towards a life of helping people. A goal in college instead of partying.
I help those that have been hurt. Any kind of pain. I help them heal. All they have to do is listen and follow my instructions. Becoming a doctor has helped me convince them to listen. This is my power. This is my greatest strength. Why I was gifted with it will always baffle me but I will use it for the rest of my life for this purpose. My days of partying are behind me. I look into the mirror every single morning and tell myself just that. Guide them and they will be saved. Say whatever it takes to convince them. You will help them all. This is your gift. Use it.
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[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
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"Ffffffeck..." slurred Brian as he negotiated the revolving door outside Manhattan's World Bar. Convincing Will to head to the east side to sample the world's most expensive cocktail hadn't been easy, but Brian found that once he got an assent from Will, it had quickly snowballed into maxxing out Will's corporate card ordering the damned things.
And snowball it did. As Brian stumbled out of the revolving door, he waltzed right into one of Manhattan's most famous real estate developers.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" the developer asked, wiping a mixture of expensive liquor and gold leaf from his startlingly ill-fitting tie. Brian hated it when people who should know better wore their ties hanging over their belt buckle.
Brian swore again, this time catching himself and producing a handkerchief that he tried, unsuccessfully, to use to clean up the man he had just run into.
"Shorry about that, man..." Brian intimated. The man scoffed.
"Heyyyy, you know...I've alwaysh thought you were an ashhole, but you should run for Prrrreshident, Mishter Trump..."
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It's strange to see a great catastrophe
And stand serene and calm to watch it grow.
My power's one that very few can see
And fewer still will ever even know.
When chaos reigns supreme, I find someone
Convince them each that they can save the day.
I work them up and off they surely run
While on the sidelines I am forced to stay.
The crisis solved, the news commends their deeds
But mention not their source of courage true.
So yet again I simply sow the seeds
And wish that I could be a hero too.
My powers cannot change the way I feel
Because I know for sure they are not real.
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[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
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We were both 14 at the time, my best friend Rand and I sat contentedly on the branches of the highest tree in our neighbourhood, while some of the other, more cautious kids looked up in awe from the ground.
“You can see the whole city from here!” I realised, amazed by a view that young me had never seen before.
“I can see my house from here”, Rand quipped, unfazed by the wonders spread below us.
We sat together for a companionable while, but young as we were the novelty gradually wore off. I glanced at the ground, dizzyingly far away and now empty of an audience. Getting down was going to take a while. I glanced over at Rand, and joked “dare you to get to the bottom in less than 5 seconds”.
I didn’t mean it of course, why on earth would I mean something like that? But the challenge in my voice obviously swayed Rand, who gave me a considering look. After a moment the doubt cleared from his face and he broke into a grin, before taking off with a shout: “race you to the bottom!”.
Of course getting to the top of a tree and getting back to the bottom are two completely different things, as anyone who’s ever climbed one will know, so naturally I started down hesitantly, feeling my way with my feet for the steadier branches below, but a cautious glance down took my breath away: there was Rand, hopping lightly from branch to branch as if pulled to each one by a constantly-shifting gravity. I wish I’d timed it, but surely not more than 3 seconds had passed before he took a leap that – realistically – should have broken at least 1 bone and landed feet-first on the ground, grinning up at me and only slightly out of breath.
It took me 2 whole minutes to climb down.
2 days later I got the news: my best friend had tried the same daredevil feat again, but the result had changed. Part of me suspected what had happened, and from then on my fear of a recurrence kept me well away from asking people to do the impossible.
**15 Years On**
Nobody expected it when the troopers crossed the border. There was no way our neighbouring country had declared war on us, was there? Relations were so friendly, it surely had to be some kind of false flag operation. Regardless, their allegiance didn’t matter, what mattered was that our army barely had time to mobilise in defense before the shock troops started marching through our streets, killing soldier and civilians alike. Not knowing what to do but knowing I had to do *something*, I found myself in the streets, looking for a group of our people. Of course I’d served my year of mandatory army service, so I at least knew one end of a weapon from the other, and spotting a barricade of our soldiers I skidded over, grabbing a gun from one of the fallen on arrival. One of the soldiers looked at me dubiously, but obviously accepting how outnumbered they were, accepted my support.
We made our stand there, behind a wall that felt far too flimsy as grenade after grenade flew over us, occasionally hitting the wall or, worse, one of our people. How many grenades did they have?
“This is hopeless!” cried one of the younger soldiers, despairing. “It’s just a matter of time now before we’re all killed, there’s no way we’ll win…it’s impossible”. With that he collapsed heavily against the battered wall and let out a sob.
*Impossible*… the word seemed to whisper to me as if from ages past, and I found myself looking up to find a tree that had been cleared from this block years ago. What had I to lose now?
I turned to the first soldier who’d looked at me, he seemed to be their commander, and gulped. “It may not be impossible, we do have a chance.”
The commander looked at me, sceptical yet open to suggestions.
“You see, I think I have this…ability…when I convince people to try the impossible, they can do it. I don’t know why, but it works.”
“Uh huh”, the commander said, his expression grim, and turned back to the enemy, “well, top marks for trying to bring some humour to the situation at least.”
“I’m being serious, we can really do this! What have we got to lose?”
“And how many times have you tested this…ability?”
I winced, “just once, 15 years ago”.
The commander lobbed a grenade of his own at the enemy. Where had he gotten that? “I’ll tell you what we’ve got to lose, our dignity.”
Another grenade flew at the enemy, met by three of their own. Once again the commander reconsidered. “Alright, convince me to do something, but it’d better work”.
I paused, I’d never actually tested my ability – telling the commander I had hadn’t even been strictly true, that had just happened by chance. How did it work? Would just saying ‘defeat the enemy’ do it? Maybe I had to put a timer on it or something like that. Well, it was worth a shot.
“Uh, dare you to defeat the enemy in 2 minutes or less?”.
He sighed, somehow mixing defeat, determination, and disgust into one sound, before looking at his watch and standing up, machine gun in hand.
To give him credit, he actually took down a fair few of the troopers before taking a bullet himself. He grunted as he fell back behind our barricade. “Knew it was a joke, how much dignity do I still have?”
It was a fool’s hope, and I wondered what had gone wrong. Was the task too impossible, or not impossible enough? Resigned, I put my own weapon above the barricade again and began shooting blind, determined to take as many with me as I could. Out of nowhere, a voice piped up beside me, “you weren’t really joking though, were you?”
I stopped shooting and looked to my side where the frightened soldier from before now crouched, eyes still red and scared, but now with something else I couldn’t identify.
“No”, I sighed, “I wasn’t joking”.
The young soldier poked his head over the barricade to look at the swarm around us, finally moving in for a flanking manoeuvre now that we’d been softened up.
“Tell me to do something then”.
I looked at him, did I really want to be directly responsible for this soldier’s death? Would it matter if he died anyway?
“Ok, we’ll try again, dare you to win this in 2 minutes or less”.
The youngster grinned at me weakly, he couldn’t be more than the minimum recruiting age, and leapt up and over the barricade.
The sight that greeted me when I poked my own head over the barricade burned in my memory forever: the soldier moved easily over, under and around enemy bullets and the explosions of grenades as he fired shot after shot, each finding its mark in an enemy trooper. As he ran out of bullets, he began picking up the unfamiliar weapons of the enemy and using those to devastating effect as well, and while I knew I should be helping, I couldn’t tear my gaze away from the sights I was seeing. It didn’t matter anyway; in 1 minute and 57 seconds, he’d managed to take out an entire platoon.
“I knew it!” he cried triumphantly as he looked back to me, “I knew you were telling the truth!”.
As a breeze blew past me I could almost hear the sound of leaves blowing in the wind, taking me back to that day 15 years ago, and with it a bittersweet truth: the reason Rand had been able to do what he did and bring my ability to life was because of one thing only: he believed in me.
|
It's strange to see a great catastrophe
And stand serene and calm to watch it grow.
My power's one that very few can see
And fewer still will ever even know.
When chaos reigns supreme, I find someone
Convince them each that they can save the day.
I work them up and off they surely run
While on the sidelines I am forced to stay.
The crisis solved, the news commends their deeds
But mention not their source of courage true.
So yet again I simply sow the seeds
And wish that I could be a hero too.
My powers cannot change the way I feel
Because I know for sure they are not real.
|
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[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
“You’re a cheat, a fraud!” he shouted, having ducked under my line of security holding off the adoring crowds. He shoved me rudely backwards, and I felt him spit in my face.
The hall went silent, and a thousand camera flashes lit up as my fans started snapping away. Far more common in the early days, not so much now, it had been some time since the last heckler attempted to disrupt my services.
“What’s your name?” I asked, after security had tackled him to the ground, holding him in an arm lock. He stared back defiantly, murder in his eyes.
“I hate people like you,” he seethed, “you prey on the gullible, exploit their dreams, crush their hopes! I hope you burn in hell!”
In the past, I would have begged for him to give me a chance, let me prove myself. I would have trotted out recordings of the precious few times I had successfully applied my powers, shown him that I really could convince people to do the extraordinary, once I managed to persuade them to even try. I would have persisted until my throat was raw, my knees were bruised.
Now, it was much easier. I just had to let him see for himself.
“Who amongst you is afflicted? Who can I help today?” I said, turning to address the crowds. My hands were raised, my voice boomed across the hall.
A hundred, two hundred hands shot up in the air, as applause rang out. The first in line, a young girl in a wheelchair, rolled up to me. I wasn’t a doctor, but I didn’t need to be one to infer from her withered, twisted legs what she was seeking today.
“What’s your name?”
“I’m Grace Natterly, please, please heal me!”
I held her hands, closed my eyes. I felt the rest of the hall slip into a similar reverential mood, and faint murmurings filled the air. Prayer wasn’t exactly necessary, but I let them believe what they wanted. The only disturbance in that whirlpool of peace, was the disbeliever who still struggled on the carpet.
“By the power vested in me, Grace Natterly, I compel you to heal yourself! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up now!”
And she did.
She struggled at first, unused to the motions, then I felt the familiar tingle as my powers took over. No one else could see, but I saw the dancing motes of light swirl in the air, cling to her legs like fireflies. I heard the familiar crick of bones straightening, growing, and I saw the flesh fatten, bulk up with muscle. The deformities melted away, leaving only a completely unremarkable set of legs.
“I… I am healed…” she said, finally, quietly. She was flexing her toes, still swimming in that short flood of euphoria, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes.
The cheers erupted. Her family rushed up to her in celebration, and the others in line pressed forward, hungry, impatient, hopeful.
I turned to my detractor, who had fallen silent. The fight had sapped out of him, and a curious blankness covered his face. I waved away the security holding him down, then leaned in close.
“That’s… that’s impossible,” he said, shaking his head slowly, eyes wide.
“All you need, is a little bit of faith,” I said, smiling as I held out my hand.
---
/r/rarelyfunny
|
It's strange to see a great catastrophe
And stand serene and calm to watch it grow.
My power's one that very few can see
And fewer still will ever even know.
When chaos reigns supreme, I find someone
Convince them each that they can save the day.
I work them up and off they surely run
While on the sidelines I am forced to stay.
The crisis solved, the news commends their deeds
But mention not their source of courage true.
So yet again I simply sow the seeds
And wish that I could be a hero too.
My powers cannot change the way I feel
Because I know for sure they are not real.
|
|
[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
The man on the ledge reeked of old booze and stale vomit, enough for me to smell him from ten paces away. Not your typical drunk however, judging by the suit; a week or so ago, it had been a respectable business number, probably complete with a crisp shirt and a smart tie. I could see that the shirt lost a number of buttons since, and acquired questionable stains, and the tie went missing altogether.
"Don't. No closer. I'll jump. I'm not kidding." He winced and swayed as he spoke.
I shrugged and leaned against the roof access door.
"Suit yourself, partner. Jump. Or don't. You are not dying today."
"Wrong!" he swayed again. "I'll do it! We are fifty stories up, there's nothing anyone can do!.." Below, the Strip churned, shone, sparkled and blinked. Just another day in paradise.
"You don't understand. I... I thought I could stop. I *almost* stopped. I just... I needed... more..." For a moment I thought he'd start to whimper and back away from the ledge, and we could solve things quietly. No such luck however. He kept blabbing, the standard suicidal drivel of a gambling addict down on his luck.
"Hey!" I snapped my fingers and he stared at me wide-eyed. "Will you ever get on with it? So you fucked up. You ALWAYS fuck up. And you'll fuck this up too. Want to know what'll happen now? You'll jump. You'll fall fifty fucking stories, land on an empty car, ruin it, and walk away with one hell of a bruised ass and not a single broken bone. Get it? You're about to fuck up your own suicide. I'm not here to talk you out of it. I'm here to talk you *into* it, watch and fucking laugh."
He blinked slowly, once, twice.
"Fuck. You. You're crazy. What kind of a negotiator are you anyway?"
"I'm not. You see a badge anywhere? For all you know, I'm the tooth fairy. You know what's funny? You can't even stop yourself thinking about what I said just now, can you? You're gonna attempt suicide by jumping fifty stories, and you're gonna FUCK IT UP. All this to ruin some poor slob's car. C'mon then, loser. I got places to be."
"Fuck. You."
Credit where credit's due - he did not scream on the way down, or at least not so much that I could hear him. From below, came a distant thud and an indignant blare of a car alarm. I walked the ten paces to the ledge and peered over just in time to see him kneeling in the street next to a ruined cab, uniforms and paramedics rushing towards him.
The phone in my pocket trilled.
"Mahoney? We've got him. Come on down."
|
It's strange to see a great catastrophe
And stand serene and calm to watch it grow.
My power's one that very few can see
And fewer still will ever even know.
When chaos reigns supreme, I find someone
Convince them each that they can save the day.
I work them up and off they surely run
While on the sidelines I am forced to stay.
The crisis solved, the news commends their deeds
But mention not their source of courage true.
So yet again I simply sow the seeds
And wish that I could be a hero too.
My powers cannot change the way I feel
Because I know for sure they are not real.
|
|
[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
“You’re a cheat, a fraud!” he shouted, having ducked under my line of security holding off the adoring crowds. He shoved me rudely backwards, and I felt him spit in my face.
The hall went silent, and a thousand camera flashes lit up as my fans started snapping away. Far more common in the early days, not so much now, it had been some time since the last heckler attempted to disrupt my services.
“What’s your name?” I asked, after security had tackled him to the ground, holding him in an arm lock. He stared back defiantly, murder in his eyes.
“I hate people like you,” he seethed, “you prey on the gullible, exploit their dreams, crush their hopes! I hope you burn in hell!”
In the past, I would have begged for him to give me a chance, let me prove myself. I would have trotted out recordings of the precious few times I had successfully applied my powers, shown him that I really could convince people to do the extraordinary, once I managed to persuade them to even try. I would have persisted until my throat was raw, my knees were bruised.
Now, it was much easier. I just had to let him see for himself.
“Who amongst you is afflicted? Who can I help today?” I said, turning to address the crowds. My hands were raised, my voice boomed across the hall.
A hundred, two hundred hands shot up in the air, as applause rang out. The first in line, a young girl in a wheelchair, rolled up to me. I wasn’t a doctor, but I didn’t need to be one to infer from her withered, twisted legs what she was seeking today.
“What’s your name?”
“I’m Grace Natterly, please, please heal me!”
I held her hands, closed my eyes. I felt the rest of the hall slip into a similar reverential mood, and faint murmurings filled the air. Prayer wasn’t exactly necessary, but I let them believe what they wanted. The only disturbance in that whirlpool of peace, was the disbeliever who still struggled on the carpet.
“By the power vested in me, Grace Natterly, I compel you to heal yourself! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up now!”
And she did.
She struggled at first, unused to the motions, then I felt the familiar tingle as my powers took over. No one else could see, but I saw the dancing motes of light swirl in the air, cling to her legs like fireflies. I heard the familiar crick of bones straightening, growing, and I saw the flesh fatten, bulk up with muscle. The deformities melted away, leaving only a completely unremarkable set of legs.
“I… I am healed…” she said, finally, quietly. She was flexing her toes, still swimming in that short flood of euphoria, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes.
The cheers erupted. Her family rushed up to her in celebration, and the others in line pressed forward, hungry, impatient, hopeful.
I turned to my detractor, who had fallen silent. The fight had sapped out of him, and a curious blankness covered his face. I waved away the security holding him down, then leaned in close.
“That’s… that’s impossible,” he said, shaking his head slowly, eyes wide.
“All you need, is a little bit of faith,” I said, smiling as I held out my hand.
---
/r/rarelyfunny
|
"Ffffffeck..." slurred Brian as he negotiated the revolving door outside Manhattan's World Bar. Convincing Will to head to the east side to sample the world's most expensive cocktail hadn't been easy, but Brian found that once he got an assent from Will, it had quickly snowballed into maxxing out Will's corporate card ordering the damned things.
And snowball it did. As Brian stumbled out of the revolving door, he waltzed right into one of Manhattan's most famous real estate developers.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" the developer asked, wiping a mixture of expensive liquor and gold leaf from his startlingly ill-fitting tie. Brian hated it when people who should know better wore their ties hanging over their belt buckle.
Brian swore again, this time catching himself and producing a handkerchief that he tried, unsuccessfully, to use to clean up the man he had just run into.
"Shorry about that, man..." Brian intimated. The man scoffed.
"Heyyyy, you know...I've alwaysh thought you were an ashhole, but you should run for Prrrreshident, Mishter Trump..."
|
|
[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
“You’re a cheat, a fraud!” he shouted, having ducked under my line of security holding off the adoring crowds. He shoved me rudely backwards, and I felt him spit in my face.
The hall went silent, and a thousand camera flashes lit up as my fans started snapping away. Far more common in the early days, not so much now, it had been some time since the last heckler attempted to disrupt my services.
“What’s your name?” I asked, after security had tackled him to the ground, holding him in an arm lock. He stared back defiantly, murder in his eyes.
“I hate people like you,” he seethed, “you prey on the gullible, exploit their dreams, crush their hopes! I hope you burn in hell!”
In the past, I would have begged for him to give me a chance, let me prove myself. I would have trotted out recordings of the precious few times I had successfully applied my powers, shown him that I really could convince people to do the extraordinary, once I managed to persuade them to even try. I would have persisted until my throat was raw, my knees were bruised.
Now, it was much easier. I just had to let him see for himself.
“Who amongst you is afflicted? Who can I help today?” I said, turning to address the crowds. My hands were raised, my voice boomed across the hall.
A hundred, two hundred hands shot up in the air, as applause rang out. The first in line, a young girl in a wheelchair, rolled up to me. I wasn’t a doctor, but I didn’t need to be one to infer from her withered, twisted legs what she was seeking today.
“What’s your name?”
“I’m Grace Natterly, please, please heal me!”
I held her hands, closed my eyes. I felt the rest of the hall slip into a similar reverential mood, and faint murmurings filled the air. Prayer wasn’t exactly necessary, but I let them believe what they wanted. The only disturbance in that whirlpool of peace, was the disbeliever who still struggled on the carpet.
“By the power vested in me, Grace Natterly, I compel you to heal yourself! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up now!”
And she did.
She struggled at first, unused to the motions, then I felt the familiar tingle as my powers took over. No one else could see, but I saw the dancing motes of light swirl in the air, cling to her legs like fireflies. I heard the familiar crick of bones straightening, growing, and I saw the flesh fatten, bulk up with muscle. The deformities melted away, leaving only a completely unremarkable set of legs.
“I… I am healed…” she said, finally, quietly. She was flexing her toes, still swimming in that short flood of euphoria, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes.
The cheers erupted. Her family rushed up to her in celebration, and the others in line pressed forward, hungry, impatient, hopeful.
I turned to my detractor, who had fallen silent. The fight had sapped out of him, and a curious blankness covered his face. I waved away the security holding him down, then leaned in close.
“That’s… that’s impossible,” he said, shaking his head slowly, eyes wide.
“All you need, is a little bit of faith,” I said, smiling as I held out my hand.
---
/r/rarelyfunny
|
We were both 14 at the time, my best friend Rand and I sat contentedly on the branches of the highest tree in our neighbourhood, while some of the other, more cautious kids looked up in awe from the ground.
“You can see the whole city from here!” I realised, amazed by a view that young me had never seen before.
“I can see my house from here”, Rand quipped, unfazed by the wonders spread below us.
We sat together for a companionable while, but young as we were the novelty gradually wore off. I glanced at the ground, dizzyingly far away and now empty of an audience. Getting down was going to take a while. I glanced over at Rand, and joked “dare you to get to the bottom in less than 5 seconds”.
I didn’t mean it of course, why on earth would I mean something like that? But the challenge in my voice obviously swayed Rand, who gave me a considering look. After a moment the doubt cleared from his face and he broke into a grin, before taking off with a shout: “race you to the bottom!”.
Of course getting to the top of a tree and getting back to the bottom are two completely different things, as anyone who’s ever climbed one will know, so naturally I started down hesitantly, feeling my way with my feet for the steadier branches below, but a cautious glance down took my breath away: there was Rand, hopping lightly from branch to branch as if pulled to each one by a constantly-shifting gravity. I wish I’d timed it, but surely not more than 3 seconds had passed before he took a leap that – realistically – should have broken at least 1 bone and landed feet-first on the ground, grinning up at me and only slightly out of breath.
It took me 2 whole minutes to climb down.
2 days later I got the news: my best friend had tried the same daredevil feat again, but the result had changed. Part of me suspected what had happened, and from then on my fear of a recurrence kept me well away from asking people to do the impossible.
**15 Years On**
Nobody expected it when the troopers crossed the border. There was no way our neighbouring country had declared war on us, was there? Relations were so friendly, it surely had to be some kind of false flag operation. Regardless, their allegiance didn’t matter, what mattered was that our army barely had time to mobilise in defense before the shock troops started marching through our streets, killing soldier and civilians alike. Not knowing what to do but knowing I had to do *something*, I found myself in the streets, looking for a group of our people. Of course I’d served my year of mandatory army service, so I at least knew one end of a weapon from the other, and spotting a barricade of our soldiers I skidded over, grabbing a gun from one of the fallen on arrival. One of the soldiers looked at me dubiously, but obviously accepting how outnumbered they were, accepted my support.
We made our stand there, behind a wall that felt far too flimsy as grenade after grenade flew over us, occasionally hitting the wall or, worse, one of our people. How many grenades did they have?
“This is hopeless!” cried one of the younger soldiers, despairing. “It’s just a matter of time now before we’re all killed, there’s no way we’ll win…it’s impossible”. With that he collapsed heavily against the battered wall and let out a sob.
*Impossible*… the word seemed to whisper to me as if from ages past, and I found myself looking up to find a tree that had been cleared from this block years ago. What had I to lose now?
I turned to the first soldier who’d looked at me, he seemed to be their commander, and gulped. “It may not be impossible, we do have a chance.”
The commander looked at me, sceptical yet open to suggestions.
“You see, I think I have this…ability…when I convince people to try the impossible, they can do it. I don’t know why, but it works.”
“Uh huh”, the commander said, his expression grim, and turned back to the enemy, “well, top marks for trying to bring some humour to the situation at least.”
“I’m being serious, we can really do this! What have we got to lose?”
“And how many times have you tested this…ability?”
I winced, “just once, 15 years ago”.
The commander lobbed a grenade of his own at the enemy. Where had he gotten that? “I’ll tell you what we’ve got to lose, our dignity.”
Another grenade flew at the enemy, met by three of their own. Once again the commander reconsidered. “Alright, convince me to do something, but it’d better work”.
I paused, I’d never actually tested my ability – telling the commander I had hadn’t even been strictly true, that had just happened by chance. How did it work? Would just saying ‘defeat the enemy’ do it? Maybe I had to put a timer on it or something like that. Well, it was worth a shot.
“Uh, dare you to defeat the enemy in 2 minutes or less?”.
He sighed, somehow mixing defeat, determination, and disgust into one sound, before looking at his watch and standing up, machine gun in hand.
To give him credit, he actually took down a fair few of the troopers before taking a bullet himself. He grunted as he fell back behind our barricade. “Knew it was a joke, how much dignity do I still have?”
It was a fool’s hope, and I wondered what had gone wrong. Was the task too impossible, or not impossible enough? Resigned, I put my own weapon above the barricade again and began shooting blind, determined to take as many with me as I could. Out of nowhere, a voice piped up beside me, “you weren’t really joking though, were you?”
I stopped shooting and looked to my side where the frightened soldier from before now crouched, eyes still red and scared, but now with something else I couldn’t identify.
“No”, I sighed, “I wasn’t joking”.
The young soldier poked his head over the barricade to look at the swarm around us, finally moving in for a flanking manoeuvre now that we’d been softened up.
“Tell me to do something then”.
I looked at him, did I really want to be directly responsible for this soldier’s death? Would it matter if he died anyway?
“Ok, we’ll try again, dare you to win this in 2 minutes or less”.
The youngster grinned at me weakly, he couldn’t be more than the minimum recruiting age, and leapt up and over the barricade.
The sight that greeted me when I poked my own head over the barricade burned in my memory forever: the soldier moved easily over, under and around enemy bullets and the explosions of grenades as he fired shot after shot, each finding its mark in an enemy trooper. As he ran out of bullets, he began picking up the unfamiliar weapons of the enemy and using those to devastating effect as well, and while I knew I should be helping, I couldn’t tear my gaze away from the sights I was seeing. It didn’t matter anyway; in 1 minute and 57 seconds, he’d managed to take out an entire platoon.
“I knew it!” he cried triumphantly as he looked back to me, “I knew you were telling the truth!”.
As a breeze blew past me I could almost hear the sound of leaves blowing in the wind, taking me back to that day 15 years ago, and with it a bittersweet truth: the reason Rand had been able to do what he did and bring my ability to life was because of one thing only: he believed in me.
|
|
[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
“Expecting a call, Mr. Harper?”
Thomas Harper looked up from his phone to see his literary analysis professor giving him a stern look.
“Oh, uh,” Thomas muttered as he slid the device into his pocket. “Sorry.”
The professor rolled her eyes and returned to what she was writing on the chalkboard. Thomas glanced around at the other students, his peers. They didn't know about his power; no one did. It wasn't even a power really; if he convinced someone to do something, they would be able to do it. Anything; fly, throw a car, whatever. The problem was getting them to play along.
Thomas eventually left the daydreams of his peculiar capability and returned to his studies. He took out a pen and was about to take notes until his phone buzzed. The young man froze and quickly stole a glance towards the professor; her back was turned. Thomas fished the phone out of his pocket and saw that he had a notification from his most recent app. It was a police scanner widget of... questionable legality. The greater good, right? This what it reported.
Hostage Situation - Silverlight Business Center @ East and Fifth.
Thomas stood up slowly, his eyes still fixed on the screen. “Actually... I have somewhere to be.” He returned the phone to his pocket and pulled on his backpack as he jogged toward the door.
The professor turned to see Thomas leaving. “Where are you going, young man?”
“It's an emergency,” Thomas said with a shrug. “I'll make it up next class.”
With that, he left. As soon as he was out of the classroom he broke into a full sprint. The Silverlight and the campus were both located in downtown, about ten minutes apart. However, time would not be merciful in regards to a volatile situation like hostages.
Thomas hurried down the steps, brushing other students out of the way as he ran towards the parking lot. It was moments like these when he was glad to be parking on campus. He reached his car in only a few minutes. Once inside and cranked up, he peeled out of the parking lot and got onto the main roads. Now, with the time it would take to drive to the Silverlight Center, he would devise his plan.
His app had not updated since leaving class, so police had not yet responded. Fortunately it didn't matter *who he partnered up with. So as long as he convinced them to go fight the bad guys, they would succeed and the day would be saved. But, again, who would that be? Civilians outside the business center would probably not go for it at all. Maybe someone on the inside? Not the criminals, obviously. One of guards or hostages?
Following that path led Thomas to realize he might end up as a hostage himself in this process. However, before he could imagine a more sound plan, he had arrived at the Silverlight. He slammed on the brake and came to a sharp stop before jumping out of the car and jogging up to the entrance.
Thomas hadn't taken more than three steps inside the center before a gloved hand grabbed his face and pulled him away from the door. A second guy walked up and pointed at gun at Thomas' head.
“Who the fuck are you?”
“Uh, I...” Thomas' stammered. His death was mere inches away. “I'm an associate here. For- stocks and uh” His irises shivered, eyes fixed on the barrel of the pistol. The lies couldn't tumble out his mouth fast enough.
“Whatever,” the man growled. He stepped away and lowered his gun. “Put him with the others.”
The first man who grabbed him swung Thoamas around and started walking him deeper into the building. “Picked a bad day for your stocks, son,” he said while placing a hand on the back of Thomas' head. The mercenary pushed the young man down the hall of the business center. It was eerily quiet and empty for a weekday. Thomas looked to his right as he walked under the criminals forceful hand. That's when he saw a particular office room. Three or four old men in suits were speaking to a squad of mercenaries with guns, armor, and black tactical clothing. “Whatcha lookin' at?” the man behind him said, shoving down on Thomas's head.
They soon arrived at their destination, a small closet door. The mercenary goon tied up Thomas's hands then unlocked the door and pushed him in. Thomas stumbled into the room and looked to see at least ten others sitting on the floor of this storage room, all with their hands tied and mouths taped up. The door clicked behind him. Thomas sighed. He had just gotten himself thoroughly screwed. It was now the time to work his magic.
Thomas walked over and sat down next to the nearest person he saw. Really anyone would do. He looked at her nametag. Allison Watson, Senior Investor. Great.
“Allison, how are you today?” he asked.
Her only response was a confused look.
“How about I take the tape off so we can talk?”
She nodded. Thomas reached over to the woman and carefully pulled the tape off of her mouth.
“Who are you?” she asked. “What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in school?”
Thomas grinned. “I understand your concern. But it's not about me right now, it's about you.”
“What are you talking about?” she woman said. “We need help, we need to call the police.”
“The police have been notified,” Thomas said. If he knew, they knew. “However, it will take time for them to organize, get here, set up a perimeter, negotiate...”
“So what?” Allison asked. “Do you have a plan?”
“I do, and it's very simple.” Thomas said with a smile. “You go out there and kick all of their asses.”
“Excuse me?” she recoiled. “Why don't you try that and see how it goes.”
“Because I would fail,” Thoams said. “But you will succeed so long as you trust me.”
Allison was quiet for a moment after that. She looked at Thomas. “You're serious?”
“Of course,” he said. “Why else would I risk my life to come get captured with you?”
Another pause from Allison. Thomas watched her consider his words. Perhaps she was coming around?
“What about the ties?” she asked, raising her bound wrists. “What about the locked door?”
“You can break them, they are no obstacle,” Thomas said. “Try it if you don't believe me.”
Allison looked down at hands and tried to pulled free of the restraints. She did. The rope tore and her arms were freed. She looked at Thomas and then back to her hands. Afterward, she stood and slowly walked over to the door to further test Thomas's claim. Just as he said, the door was no obstacle, it crumbled under her hand and drifted open.
Thomas looked on as Allison took a steadying breath and then charged out of the storage room. Screaming and gunfire erupted in the following seconds and the other hostages all looked towards the door as bullets flew pass. The thuds of bodies hitting the floor, glass shattering, more screaming. Lots of screaming actually. Then finally, silence.
Moments later, Allison from investing returned dragging two unconscious mercenaries in each hand.
|
Some would say I have been blessed with greatest superpower possible. And I would agree with them, the ability to make belief into reality? I could do unspeakable things. Imagine the potential for my power, I could convince impressionable children to do so much, from learning how to cure cancer to making real change in our environment. I could convince children to fly, to discover unbelievable things, to find the answers to questions once thought to be unsolvable. There should be no limit to my potential. No cap on my abilities. All of this made possible with only a few simple worlds to a listening ear. Sadly, I'm mute.
|
|
[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
The man on the ledge reeked of old booze and stale vomit, enough for me to smell him from ten paces away. Not your typical drunk however, judging by the suit; a week or so ago, it had been a respectable business number, probably complete with a crisp shirt and a smart tie. I could see that the shirt lost a number of buttons since, and acquired questionable stains, and the tie went missing altogether.
"Don't. No closer. I'll jump. I'm not kidding." He winced and swayed as he spoke.
I shrugged and leaned against the roof access door.
"Suit yourself, partner. Jump. Or don't. You are not dying today."
"Wrong!" he swayed again. "I'll do it! We are fifty stories up, there's nothing anyone can do!.." Below, the Strip churned, shone, sparkled and blinked. Just another day in paradise.
"You don't understand. I... I thought I could stop. I *almost* stopped. I just... I needed... more..." For a moment I thought he'd start to whimper and back away from the ledge, and we could solve things quietly. No such luck however. He kept blabbing, the standard suicidal drivel of a gambling addict down on his luck.
"Hey!" I snapped my fingers and he stared at me wide-eyed. "Will you ever get on with it? So you fucked up. You ALWAYS fuck up. And you'll fuck this up too. Want to know what'll happen now? You'll jump. You'll fall fifty fucking stories, land on an empty car, ruin it, and walk away with one hell of a bruised ass and not a single broken bone. Get it? You're about to fuck up your own suicide. I'm not here to talk you out of it. I'm here to talk you *into* it, watch and fucking laugh."
He blinked slowly, once, twice.
"Fuck. You. You're crazy. What kind of a negotiator are you anyway?"
"I'm not. You see a badge anywhere? For all you know, I'm the tooth fairy. You know what's funny? You can't even stop yourself thinking about what I said just now, can you? You're gonna attempt suicide by jumping fifty stories, and you're gonna FUCK IT UP. All this to ruin some poor slob's car. C'mon then, loser. I got places to be."
"Fuck. You."
Credit where credit's due - he did not scream on the way down, or at least not so much that I could hear him. From below, came a distant thud and an indignant blare of a car alarm. I walked the ten paces to the ledge and peered over just in time to see him kneeling in the street next to a ruined cab, uniforms and paramedics rushing towards him.
The phone in my pocket trilled.
"Mahoney? We've got him. Come on down."
|
Some would say I have been blessed with greatest superpower possible. And I would agree with them, the ability to make belief into reality? I could do unspeakable things. Imagine the potential for my power, I could convince impressionable children to do so much, from learning how to cure cancer to making real change in our environment. I could convince children to fly, to discover unbelievable things, to find the answers to questions once thought to be unsolvable. There should be no limit to my potential. No cap on my abilities. All of this made possible with only a few simple worlds to a listening ear. Sadly, I'm mute.
|
|
[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
“Expecting a call, Mr. Harper?”
Thomas Harper looked up from his phone to see his literary analysis professor giving him a stern look.
“Oh, uh,” Thomas muttered as he slid the device into his pocket. “Sorry.”
The professor rolled her eyes and returned to what she was writing on the chalkboard. Thomas glanced around at the other students, his peers. They didn't know about his power; no one did. It wasn't even a power really; if he convinced someone to do something, they would be able to do it. Anything; fly, throw a car, whatever. The problem was getting them to play along.
Thomas eventually left the daydreams of his peculiar capability and returned to his studies. He took out a pen and was about to take notes until his phone buzzed. The young man froze and quickly stole a glance towards the professor; her back was turned. Thomas fished the phone out of his pocket and saw that he had a notification from his most recent app. It was a police scanner widget of... questionable legality. The greater good, right? This what it reported.
Hostage Situation - Silverlight Business Center @ East and Fifth.
Thomas stood up slowly, his eyes still fixed on the screen. “Actually... I have somewhere to be.” He returned the phone to his pocket and pulled on his backpack as he jogged toward the door.
The professor turned to see Thomas leaving. “Where are you going, young man?”
“It's an emergency,” Thomas said with a shrug. “I'll make it up next class.”
With that, he left. As soon as he was out of the classroom he broke into a full sprint. The Silverlight and the campus were both located in downtown, about ten minutes apart. However, time would not be merciful in regards to a volatile situation like hostages.
Thomas hurried down the steps, brushing other students out of the way as he ran towards the parking lot. It was moments like these when he was glad to be parking on campus. He reached his car in only a few minutes. Once inside and cranked up, he peeled out of the parking lot and got onto the main roads. Now, with the time it would take to drive to the Silverlight Center, he would devise his plan.
His app had not updated since leaving class, so police had not yet responded. Fortunately it didn't matter *who he partnered up with. So as long as he convinced them to go fight the bad guys, they would succeed and the day would be saved. But, again, who would that be? Civilians outside the business center would probably not go for it at all. Maybe someone on the inside? Not the criminals, obviously. One of guards or hostages?
Following that path led Thomas to realize he might end up as a hostage himself in this process. However, before he could imagine a more sound plan, he had arrived at the Silverlight. He slammed on the brake and came to a sharp stop before jumping out of the car and jogging up to the entrance.
Thomas hadn't taken more than three steps inside the center before a gloved hand grabbed his face and pulled him away from the door. A second guy walked up and pointed at gun at Thomas' head.
“Who the fuck are you?”
“Uh, I...” Thomas' stammered. His death was mere inches away. “I'm an associate here. For- stocks and uh” His irises shivered, eyes fixed on the barrel of the pistol. The lies couldn't tumble out his mouth fast enough.
“Whatever,” the man growled. He stepped away and lowered his gun. “Put him with the others.”
The first man who grabbed him swung Thoamas around and started walking him deeper into the building. “Picked a bad day for your stocks, son,” he said while placing a hand on the back of Thomas' head. The mercenary pushed the young man down the hall of the business center. It was eerily quiet and empty for a weekday. Thomas looked to his right as he walked under the criminals forceful hand. That's when he saw a particular office room. Three or four old men in suits were speaking to a squad of mercenaries with guns, armor, and black tactical clothing. “Whatcha lookin' at?” the man behind him said, shoving down on Thomas's head.
They soon arrived at their destination, a small closet door. The mercenary goon tied up Thomas's hands then unlocked the door and pushed him in. Thomas stumbled into the room and looked to see at least ten others sitting on the floor of this storage room, all with their hands tied and mouths taped up. The door clicked behind him. Thomas sighed. He had just gotten himself thoroughly screwed. It was now the time to work his magic.
Thomas walked over and sat down next to the nearest person he saw. Really anyone would do. He looked at her nametag. Allison Watson, Senior Investor. Great.
“Allison, how are you today?” he asked.
Her only response was a confused look.
“How about I take the tape off so we can talk?”
She nodded. Thomas reached over to the woman and carefully pulled the tape off of her mouth.
“Who are you?” she asked. “What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in school?”
Thomas grinned. “I understand your concern. But it's not about me right now, it's about you.”
“What are you talking about?” she woman said. “We need help, we need to call the police.”
“The police have been notified,” Thomas said. If he knew, they knew. “However, it will take time for them to organize, get here, set up a perimeter, negotiate...”
“So what?” Allison asked. “Do you have a plan?”
“I do, and it's very simple.” Thomas said with a smile. “You go out there and kick all of their asses.”
“Excuse me?” she recoiled. “Why don't you try that and see how it goes.”
“Because I would fail,” Thoams said. “But you will succeed so long as you trust me.”
Allison was quiet for a moment after that. She looked at Thomas. “You're serious?”
“Of course,” he said. “Why else would I risk my life to come get captured with you?”
Another pause from Allison. Thomas watched her consider his words. Perhaps she was coming around?
“What about the ties?” she asked, raising her bound wrists. “What about the locked door?”
“You can break them, they are no obstacle,” Thomas said. “Try it if you don't believe me.”
Allison looked down at hands and tried to pulled free of the restraints. She did. The rope tore and her arms were freed. She looked at Thomas and then back to her hands. Afterward, she stood and slowly walked over to the door to further test Thomas's claim. Just as he said, the door was no obstacle, it crumbled under her hand and drifted open.
Thomas looked on as Allison took a steadying breath and then charged out of the storage room. Screaming and gunfire erupted in the following seconds and the other hostages all looked towards the door as bullets flew pass. The thuds of bodies hitting the floor, glass shattering, more screaming. Lots of screaming actually. Then finally, silence.
Moments later, Allison from investing returned dragging two unconscious mercenaries in each hand.
|
Lord Evil hovered over the street between two buildings, his cape fluttering behind his back, his fists resting on his
hips, a dark smile across his face.
Under him, chaos and destruction as he used his powers to destroy the city.
I arrived late, and a team of policemen were cowering behind a collapsed building, at a loss of what to do.
"Hey, hey, hey, guys! I'm here!" I stopped, panting. "Okay, who's in charge?"
"Who the hell are you!?"
"The superhero."
The police officers exchanged glances. "The superhero?"
"Yes. Look, there's no time for that, okay? New York is being destroyed, a dude in a cape is hovering above the city
and pretty soon a beam of light will shoot up towards swirling clouds in the sky. This is obviously a superhero story."
"Are you sure?" One of the cops asked.
Another one frowned. "Are studios charging more for people to watch this in 3D even though nobody wants it?"
"No," I said. "It's not going to be *exactly* like every superhero story, but --"
"Are women wildly underrepresented and/or objectified?" another added, confused.
"Is Zack Snyder making everything gritty for no reason?" a third pondered.
I shook my head. "Okay, stop. Dude, just trust me! This is a superhero story." Lord Evil cast a laser on a passing-by bus and it exploded. "We gotta act fast, dude!"
"Okay…" the tallest of the officers stepped forward. "I'm in charge. My name is Officer Smith. What's the plan?"
I looked up at Lord Evil. "Well… normally you'd all do absolutely nothing while a team of witty misfits in ridiculous outfits comes together to battle the evil lord, even though, you know, the police has machine guns and the army has fucking nuclear weapons and they are both clearly more qualified than, say, a billionaire in a bat suit or a guy who's good with a bow and arrow." I paused. "But I'm a different kind of superhero, so we'll have to improvise."
"Dude, this is getting upsetting. Just tell us what your power is."
"Okay. Okay. I have a different power every day of the week." I checked my list. "Today it's…" I paused.
"What!?"
I looked up from my list. "All right, you'll have to trust me, Officer Smith. Go over to Lord Evil and kill him."
Smith waited. "How?"
"It doesn't matter. Just do it." I took a step forward. "Look, my power is it doesn't matter what I ask of you, you
can accomplish it. So if I say 'kill Lord Evil' and you go to do it, you'll do it."
"But he's hovering in the air! I can't fly!"
"It doesn't matter, man." I put an arm around his back and we both looked up at Lord Evil. "All you have to do is
agree with me and… go do it."
"How do I even 'go do it'?"
"DUDE, I DON'T KNOW. JUST SAY 'OKAY, I'LL KILL HIM'."
"This makes no sense."
"Oh, because Batman traveling across the world with no money or passport after he escaped prison in Dark Knight Rises was a beacon of logic."
"Good point."
I sighed. "Okay. Forget the other superheroes. Let's focus. Just try to punch him. Just go under him and attempt to punch him. You'll find the strength to fly or your punch hill reach him up there or something. It doesn't matter. If I tell you to kill him with a punch and you attempt it, it will work, because that's my power. I don't know *how* it will work, but it will work. So trust me. Just do it."
Smith looked around at his peers, then at me. Behind him, the city burned and collapsed. "Are you sure about this?"
"I know this is a weird power and it's not based on the features of an exotic animal, which is unusual for superheroes," I said. "But trust me. It works."
He nodded. He turned his back on his friends. Grandiose music played as he stepped forward, confident, afraid but ready. Debris and cinder blocks and fire rained around him. People ran in the opposite direction, desperate. But he was ready.
When he stopped right under Lord Evil, the man's shadow towering over him, I yelled: "KILL HIM WITH A PUNCH!"
Officer Smith looked up against the sun… and punched the air.
And absolutely nothing happened.
He turned back to look at me. "It didn't work! AAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Lord Evil picked him up and lifted him over the remaining buildings and then, from this great distance, dropped him
back onto the ground, where he promptly exploded and turned into a stain of flesh, blood and bones on the ground.
"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?" One of his friends asked me, turning back.
I checked my list. "Ah, shit," I said. "Tomorrow's power is 'anything I say happens'. Today was just 'good
persuasion.' Sorry, guys."
Lord Evil laughed an evil laugh. And then a big beam of light exploded towards swirling clouds in the sky.
_________
**(This story is available in 3D and IMAX at /r/psycho_alpaca)**
|
|
[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
The hardest thing to talk someone into is bettering themselves. People don’t actually want to improve, it’s too much effort. That’s why everyone is stuck day out and day in with the same routines, jobs, and prospects.
People are lazy, that’s the problem. Convincing someone to jump across a cliff is oftentimes easier than getting them to lose a few pounds. It’s a thing in the brain, you know, something like a safety switch that’s been glued stuck.
That’s why I’ve stopped trying to make people fly and walk on water – that shit was too easy.
Now I have my own class for those with too deep pockets and no drive. What can I say? I like the challenge.
****
I run a hand through my thick black beard and look at the crowd of lazy, overweight, and unmotivated people. I’m proud that they made it here. They are like sheep and I’m their shepherd. I care for them.
I pace in front of them, stopping at regular intervals, making eye contact with each and every one of them in turn. They dream of success, and I will make them work hard for it.
Mark wants to be a painter but he is too lazy to practice. I look him dead in the eye and nod.
Natalie wants to lose twenty pounds. I give her the thumbs up.
Joseph is too shy to ask out his dream girl. I give him a good, long look until he blushes and looks down.
Lisa needs her grades to go up but she’s always procrastinating instead of studying. I give her a smile.
Once I’ve gone through them all, I stop in the middle of the room. This is the moment. I flex my arms into an O in front of me. The veins bulge in my neck. I take a deep breath. This is it – make or break.
“Yesterday you said tomorrow!”
*****
For more information on how to better yourself: r/Lilwa_Dexel
|
Lord Evil hovered over the street between two buildings, his cape fluttering behind his back, his fists resting on his
hips, a dark smile across his face.
Under him, chaos and destruction as he used his powers to destroy the city.
I arrived late, and a team of policemen were cowering behind a collapsed building, at a loss of what to do.
"Hey, hey, hey, guys! I'm here!" I stopped, panting. "Okay, who's in charge?"
"Who the hell are you!?"
"The superhero."
The police officers exchanged glances. "The superhero?"
"Yes. Look, there's no time for that, okay? New York is being destroyed, a dude in a cape is hovering above the city
and pretty soon a beam of light will shoot up towards swirling clouds in the sky. This is obviously a superhero story."
"Are you sure?" One of the cops asked.
Another one frowned. "Are studios charging more for people to watch this in 3D even though nobody wants it?"
"No," I said. "It's not going to be *exactly* like every superhero story, but --"
"Are women wildly underrepresented and/or objectified?" another added, confused.
"Is Zack Snyder making everything gritty for no reason?" a third pondered.
I shook my head. "Okay, stop. Dude, just trust me! This is a superhero story." Lord Evil cast a laser on a passing-by bus and it exploded. "We gotta act fast, dude!"
"Okay…" the tallest of the officers stepped forward. "I'm in charge. My name is Officer Smith. What's the plan?"
I looked up at Lord Evil. "Well… normally you'd all do absolutely nothing while a team of witty misfits in ridiculous outfits comes together to battle the evil lord, even though, you know, the police has machine guns and the army has fucking nuclear weapons and they are both clearly more qualified than, say, a billionaire in a bat suit or a guy who's good with a bow and arrow." I paused. "But I'm a different kind of superhero, so we'll have to improvise."
"Dude, this is getting upsetting. Just tell us what your power is."
"Okay. Okay. I have a different power every day of the week." I checked my list. "Today it's…" I paused.
"What!?"
I looked up from my list. "All right, you'll have to trust me, Officer Smith. Go over to Lord Evil and kill him."
Smith waited. "How?"
"It doesn't matter. Just do it." I took a step forward. "Look, my power is it doesn't matter what I ask of you, you
can accomplish it. So if I say 'kill Lord Evil' and you go to do it, you'll do it."
"But he's hovering in the air! I can't fly!"
"It doesn't matter, man." I put an arm around his back and we both looked up at Lord Evil. "All you have to do is
agree with me and… go do it."
"How do I even 'go do it'?"
"DUDE, I DON'T KNOW. JUST SAY 'OKAY, I'LL KILL HIM'."
"This makes no sense."
"Oh, because Batman traveling across the world with no money or passport after he escaped prison in Dark Knight Rises was a beacon of logic."
"Good point."
I sighed. "Okay. Forget the other superheroes. Let's focus. Just try to punch him. Just go under him and attempt to punch him. You'll find the strength to fly or your punch hill reach him up there or something. It doesn't matter. If I tell you to kill him with a punch and you attempt it, it will work, because that's my power. I don't know *how* it will work, but it will work. So trust me. Just do it."
Smith looked around at his peers, then at me. Behind him, the city burned and collapsed. "Are you sure about this?"
"I know this is a weird power and it's not based on the features of an exotic animal, which is unusual for superheroes," I said. "But trust me. It works."
He nodded. He turned his back on his friends. Grandiose music played as he stepped forward, confident, afraid but ready. Debris and cinder blocks and fire rained around him. People ran in the opposite direction, desperate. But he was ready.
When he stopped right under Lord Evil, the man's shadow towering over him, I yelled: "KILL HIM WITH A PUNCH!"
Officer Smith looked up against the sun… and punched the air.
And absolutely nothing happened.
He turned back to look at me. "It didn't work! AAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Lord Evil picked him up and lifted him over the remaining buildings and then, from this great distance, dropped him
back onto the ground, where he promptly exploded and turned into a stain of flesh, blood and bones on the ground.
"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?" One of his friends asked me, turning back.
I checked my list. "Ah, shit," I said. "Tomorrow's power is 'anything I say happens'. Today was just 'good
persuasion.' Sorry, guys."
Lord Evil laughed an evil laugh. And then a big beam of light exploded towards swirling clouds in the sky.
_________
**(This story is available in 3D and IMAX at /r/psycho_alpaca)**
|
|
[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
The man on the ledge reeked of old booze and stale vomit, enough for me to smell him from ten paces away. Not your typical drunk however, judging by the suit; a week or so ago, it had been a respectable business number, probably complete with a crisp shirt and a smart tie. I could see that the shirt lost a number of buttons since, and acquired questionable stains, and the tie went missing altogether.
"Don't. No closer. I'll jump. I'm not kidding." He winced and swayed as he spoke.
I shrugged and leaned against the roof access door.
"Suit yourself, partner. Jump. Or don't. You are not dying today."
"Wrong!" he swayed again. "I'll do it! We are fifty stories up, there's nothing anyone can do!.." Below, the Strip churned, shone, sparkled and blinked. Just another day in paradise.
"You don't understand. I... I thought I could stop. I *almost* stopped. I just... I needed... more..." For a moment I thought he'd start to whimper and back away from the ledge, and we could solve things quietly. No such luck however. He kept blabbing, the standard suicidal drivel of a gambling addict down on his luck.
"Hey!" I snapped my fingers and he stared at me wide-eyed. "Will you ever get on with it? So you fucked up. You ALWAYS fuck up. And you'll fuck this up too. Want to know what'll happen now? You'll jump. You'll fall fifty fucking stories, land on an empty car, ruin it, and walk away with one hell of a bruised ass and not a single broken bone. Get it? You're about to fuck up your own suicide. I'm not here to talk you out of it. I'm here to talk you *into* it, watch and fucking laugh."
He blinked slowly, once, twice.
"Fuck. You. You're crazy. What kind of a negotiator are you anyway?"
"I'm not. You see a badge anywhere? For all you know, I'm the tooth fairy. You know what's funny? You can't even stop yourself thinking about what I said just now, can you? You're gonna attempt suicide by jumping fifty stories, and you're gonna FUCK IT UP. All this to ruin some poor slob's car. C'mon then, loser. I got places to be."
"Fuck. You."
Credit where credit's due - he did not scream on the way down, or at least not so much that I could hear him. From below, came a distant thud and an indignant blare of a car alarm. I walked the ten paces to the ledge and peered over just in time to see him kneeling in the street next to a ruined cab, uniforms and paramedics rushing towards him.
The phone in my pocket trilled.
"Mahoney? We've got him. Come on down."
|
Lord Evil hovered over the street between two buildings, his cape fluttering behind his back, his fists resting on his
hips, a dark smile across his face.
Under him, chaos and destruction as he used his powers to destroy the city.
I arrived late, and a team of policemen were cowering behind a collapsed building, at a loss of what to do.
"Hey, hey, hey, guys! I'm here!" I stopped, panting. "Okay, who's in charge?"
"Who the hell are you!?"
"The superhero."
The police officers exchanged glances. "The superhero?"
"Yes. Look, there's no time for that, okay? New York is being destroyed, a dude in a cape is hovering above the city
and pretty soon a beam of light will shoot up towards swirling clouds in the sky. This is obviously a superhero story."
"Are you sure?" One of the cops asked.
Another one frowned. "Are studios charging more for people to watch this in 3D even though nobody wants it?"
"No," I said. "It's not going to be *exactly* like every superhero story, but --"
"Are women wildly underrepresented and/or objectified?" another added, confused.
"Is Zack Snyder making everything gritty for no reason?" a third pondered.
I shook my head. "Okay, stop. Dude, just trust me! This is a superhero story." Lord Evil cast a laser on a passing-by bus and it exploded. "We gotta act fast, dude!"
"Okay…" the tallest of the officers stepped forward. "I'm in charge. My name is Officer Smith. What's the plan?"
I looked up at Lord Evil. "Well… normally you'd all do absolutely nothing while a team of witty misfits in ridiculous outfits comes together to battle the evil lord, even though, you know, the police has machine guns and the army has fucking nuclear weapons and they are both clearly more qualified than, say, a billionaire in a bat suit or a guy who's good with a bow and arrow." I paused. "But I'm a different kind of superhero, so we'll have to improvise."
"Dude, this is getting upsetting. Just tell us what your power is."
"Okay. Okay. I have a different power every day of the week." I checked my list. "Today it's…" I paused.
"What!?"
I looked up from my list. "All right, you'll have to trust me, Officer Smith. Go over to Lord Evil and kill him."
Smith waited. "How?"
"It doesn't matter. Just do it." I took a step forward. "Look, my power is it doesn't matter what I ask of you, you
can accomplish it. So if I say 'kill Lord Evil' and you go to do it, you'll do it."
"But he's hovering in the air! I can't fly!"
"It doesn't matter, man." I put an arm around his back and we both looked up at Lord Evil. "All you have to do is
agree with me and… go do it."
"How do I even 'go do it'?"
"DUDE, I DON'T KNOW. JUST SAY 'OKAY, I'LL KILL HIM'."
"This makes no sense."
"Oh, because Batman traveling across the world with no money or passport after he escaped prison in Dark Knight Rises was a beacon of logic."
"Good point."
I sighed. "Okay. Forget the other superheroes. Let's focus. Just try to punch him. Just go under him and attempt to punch him. You'll find the strength to fly or your punch hill reach him up there or something. It doesn't matter. If I tell you to kill him with a punch and you attempt it, it will work, because that's my power. I don't know *how* it will work, but it will work. So trust me. Just do it."
Smith looked around at his peers, then at me. Behind him, the city burned and collapsed. "Are you sure about this?"
"I know this is a weird power and it's not based on the features of an exotic animal, which is unusual for superheroes," I said. "But trust me. It works."
He nodded. He turned his back on his friends. Grandiose music played as he stepped forward, confident, afraid but ready. Debris and cinder blocks and fire rained around him. People ran in the opposite direction, desperate. But he was ready.
When he stopped right under Lord Evil, the man's shadow towering over him, I yelled: "KILL HIM WITH A PUNCH!"
Officer Smith looked up against the sun… and punched the air.
And absolutely nothing happened.
He turned back to look at me. "It didn't work! AAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Lord Evil picked him up and lifted him over the remaining buildings and then, from this great distance, dropped him
back onto the ground, where he promptly exploded and turned into a stain of flesh, blood and bones on the ground.
"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?" One of his friends asked me, turning back.
I checked my list. "Ah, shit," I said. "Tomorrow's power is 'anything I say happens'. Today was just 'good
persuasion.' Sorry, guys."
Lord Evil laughed an evil laugh. And then a big beam of light exploded towards swirling clouds in the sky.
_________
**(This story is available in 3D and IMAX at /r/psycho_alpaca)**
|
|
[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
The man on the ledge reeked of old booze and stale vomit, enough for me to smell him from ten paces away. Not your typical drunk however, judging by the suit; a week or so ago, it had been a respectable business number, probably complete with a crisp shirt and a smart tie. I could see that the shirt lost a number of buttons since, and acquired questionable stains, and the tie went missing altogether.
"Don't. No closer. I'll jump. I'm not kidding." He winced and swayed as he spoke.
I shrugged and leaned against the roof access door.
"Suit yourself, partner. Jump. Or don't. You are not dying today."
"Wrong!" he swayed again. "I'll do it! We are fifty stories up, there's nothing anyone can do!.." Below, the Strip churned, shone, sparkled and blinked. Just another day in paradise.
"You don't understand. I... I thought I could stop. I *almost* stopped. I just... I needed... more..." For a moment I thought he'd start to whimper and back away from the ledge, and we could solve things quietly. No such luck however. He kept blabbing, the standard suicidal drivel of a gambling addict down on his luck.
"Hey!" I snapped my fingers and he stared at me wide-eyed. "Will you ever get on with it? So you fucked up. You ALWAYS fuck up. And you'll fuck this up too. Want to know what'll happen now? You'll jump. You'll fall fifty fucking stories, land on an empty car, ruin it, and walk away with one hell of a bruised ass and not a single broken bone. Get it? You're about to fuck up your own suicide. I'm not here to talk you out of it. I'm here to talk you *into* it, watch and fucking laugh."
He blinked slowly, once, twice.
"Fuck. You. You're crazy. What kind of a negotiator are you anyway?"
"I'm not. You see a badge anywhere? For all you know, I'm the tooth fairy. You know what's funny? You can't even stop yourself thinking about what I said just now, can you? You're gonna attempt suicide by jumping fifty stories, and you're gonna FUCK IT UP. All this to ruin some poor slob's car. C'mon then, loser. I got places to be."
"Fuck. You."
Credit where credit's due - he did not scream on the way down, or at least not so much that I could hear him. From below, came a distant thud and an indignant blare of a car alarm. I walked the ten paces to the ledge and peered over just in time to see him kneeling in the street next to a ruined cab, uniforms and paramedics rushing towards him.
The phone in my pocket trilled.
"Mahoney? We've got him. Come on down."
|
“Expecting a call, Mr. Harper?”
Thomas Harper looked up from his phone to see his literary analysis professor giving him a stern look.
“Oh, uh,” Thomas muttered as he slid the device into his pocket. “Sorry.”
The professor rolled her eyes and returned to what she was writing on the chalkboard. Thomas glanced around at the other students, his peers. They didn't know about his power; no one did. It wasn't even a power really; if he convinced someone to do something, they would be able to do it. Anything; fly, throw a car, whatever. The problem was getting them to play along.
Thomas eventually left the daydreams of his peculiar capability and returned to his studies. He took out a pen and was about to take notes until his phone buzzed. The young man froze and quickly stole a glance towards the professor; her back was turned. Thomas fished the phone out of his pocket and saw that he had a notification from his most recent app. It was a police scanner widget of... questionable legality. The greater good, right? This what it reported.
Hostage Situation - Silverlight Business Center @ East and Fifth.
Thomas stood up slowly, his eyes still fixed on the screen. “Actually... I have somewhere to be.” He returned the phone to his pocket and pulled on his backpack as he jogged toward the door.
The professor turned to see Thomas leaving. “Where are you going, young man?”
“It's an emergency,” Thomas said with a shrug. “I'll make it up next class.”
With that, he left. As soon as he was out of the classroom he broke into a full sprint. The Silverlight and the campus were both located in downtown, about ten minutes apart. However, time would not be merciful in regards to a volatile situation like hostages.
Thomas hurried down the steps, brushing other students out of the way as he ran towards the parking lot. It was moments like these when he was glad to be parking on campus. He reached his car in only a few minutes. Once inside and cranked up, he peeled out of the parking lot and got onto the main roads. Now, with the time it would take to drive to the Silverlight Center, he would devise his plan.
His app had not updated since leaving class, so police had not yet responded. Fortunately it didn't matter *who he partnered up with. So as long as he convinced them to go fight the bad guys, they would succeed and the day would be saved. But, again, who would that be? Civilians outside the business center would probably not go for it at all. Maybe someone on the inside? Not the criminals, obviously. One of guards or hostages?
Following that path led Thomas to realize he might end up as a hostage himself in this process. However, before he could imagine a more sound plan, he had arrived at the Silverlight. He slammed on the brake and came to a sharp stop before jumping out of the car and jogging up to the entrance.
Thomas hadn't taken more than three steps inside the center before a gloved hand grabbed his face and pulled him away from the door. A second guy walked up and pointed at gun at Thomas' head.
“Who the fuck are you?”
“Uh, I...” Thomas' stammered. His death was mere inches away. “I'm an associate here. For- stocks and uh” His irises shivered, eyes fixed on the barrel of the pistol. The lies couldn't tumble out his mouth fast enough.
“Whatever,” the man growled. He stepped away and lowered his gun. “Put him with the others.”
The first man who grabbed him swung Thoamas around and started walking him deeper into the building. “Picked a bad day for your stocks, son,” he said while placing a hand on the back of Thomas' head. The mercenary pushed the young man down the hall of the business center. It was eerily quiet and empty for a weekday. Thomas looked to his right as he walked under the criminals forceful hand. That's when he saw a particular office room. Three or four old men in suits were speaking to a squad of mercenaries with guns, armor, and black tactical clothing. “Whatcha lookin' at?” the man behind him said, shoving down on Thomas's head.
They soon arrived at their destination, a small closet door. The mercenary goon tied up Thomas's hands then unlocked the door and pushed him in. Thomas stumbled into the room and looked to see at least ten others sitting on the floor of this storage room, all with their hands tied and mouths taped up. The door clicked behind him. Thomas sighed. He had just gotten himself thoroughly screwed. It was now the time to work his magic.
Thomas walked over and sat down next to the nearest person he saw. Really anyone would do. He looked at her nametag. Allison Watson, Senior Investor. Great.
“Allison, how are you today?” he asked.
Her only response was a confused look.
“How about I take the tape off so we can talk?”
She nodded. Thomas reached over to the woman and carefully pulled the tape off of her mouth.
“Who are you?” she asked. “What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in school?”
Thomas grinned. “I understand your concern. But it's not about me right now, it's about you.”
“What are you talking about?” she woman said. “We need help, we need to call the police.”
“The police have been notified,” Thomas said. If he knew, they knew. “However, it will take time for them to organize, get here, set up a perimeter, negotiate...”
“So what?” Allison asked. “Do you have a plan?”
“I do, and it's very simple.” Thomas said with a smile. “You go out there and kick all of their asses.”
“Excuse me?” she recoiled. “Why don't you try that and see how it goes.”
“Because I would fail,” Thoams said. “But you will succeed so long as you trust me.”
Allison was quiet for a moment after that. She looked at Thomas. “You're serious?”
“Of course,” he said. “Why else would I risk my life to come get captured with you?”
Another pause from Allison. Thomas watched her consider his words. Perhaps she was coming around?
“What about the ties?” she asked, raising her bound wrists. “What about the locked door?”
“You can break them, they are no obstacle,” Thomas said. “Try it if you don't believe me.”
Allison looked down at hands and tried to pulled free of the restraints. She did. The rope tore and her arms were freed. She looked at Thomas and then back to her hands. Afterward, she stood and slowly walked over to the door to further test Thomas's claim. Just as he said, the door was no obstacle, it crumbled under her hand and drifted open.
Thomas looked on as Allison took a steadying breath and then charged out of the storage room. Screaming and gunfire erupted in the following seconds and the other hostages all looked towards the door as bullets flew pass. The thuds of bodies hitting the floor, glass shattering, more screaming. Lots of screaming actually. Then finally, silence.
Moments later, Allison from investing returned dragging two unconscious mercenaries in each hand.
|
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[WP] You have weird super power. If you successfully talk someone into doing something, they will succeed, regardless of if the action in question is actually possible. On the other hand, your abilities to actually persuade people are unaltered.
|
The man on the ledge reeked of old booze and stale vomit, enough for me to smell him from ten paces away. Not your typical drunk however, judging by the suit; a week or so ago, it had been a respectable business number, probably complete with a crisp shirt and a smart tie. I could see that the shirt lost a number of buttons since, and acquired questionable stains, and the tie went missing altogether.
"Don't. No closer. I'll jump. I'm not kidding." He winced and swayed as he spoke.
I shrugged and leaned against the roof access door.
"Suit yourself, partner. Jump. Or don't. You are not dying today."
"Wrong!" he swayed again. "I'll do it! We are fifty stories up, there's nothing anyone can do!.." Below, the Strip churned, shone, sparkled and blinked. Just another day in paradise.
"You don't understand. I... I thought I could stop. I *almost* stopped. I just... I needed... more..." For a moment I thought he'd start to whimper and back away from the ledge, and we could solve things quietly. No such luck however. He kept blabbing, the standard suicidal drivel of a gambling addict down on his luck.
"Hey!" I snapped my fingers and he stared at me wide-eyed. "Will you ever get on with it? So you fucked up. You ALWAYS fuck up. And you'll fuck this up too. Want to know what'll happen now? You'll jump. You'll fall fifty fucking stories, land on an empty car, ruin it, and walk away with one hell of a bruised ass and not a single broken bone. Get it? You're about to fuck up your own suicide. I'm not here to talk you out of it. I'm here to talk you *into* it, watch and fucking laugh."
He blinked slowly, once, twice.
"Fuck. You. You're crazy. What kind of a negotiator are you anyway?"
"I'm not. You see a badge anywhere? For all you know, I'm the tooth fairy. You know what's funny? You can't even stop yourself thinking about what I said just now, can you? You're gonna attempt suicide by jumping fifty stories, and you're gonna FUCK IT UP. All this to ruin some poor slob's car. C'mon then, loser. I got places to be."
"Fuck. You."
Credit where credit's due - he did not scream on the way down, or at least not so much that I could hear him. From below, came a distant thud and an indignant blare of a car alarm. I walked the ten paces to the ledge and peered over just in time to see him kneeling in the street next to a ruined cab, uniforms and paramedics rushing towards him.
The phone in my pocket trilled.
"Mahoney? We've got him. Come on down."
|
The hardest thing to talk someone into is bettering themselves. People don’t actually want to improve, it’s too much effort. That’s why everyone is stuck day out and day in with the same routines, jobs, and prospects.
People are lazy, that’s the problem. Convincing someone to jump across a cliff is oftentimes easier than getting them to lose a few pounds. It’s a thing in the brain, you know, something like a safety switch that’s been glued stuck.
That’s why I’ve stopped trying to make people fly and walk on water – that shit was too easy.
Now I have my own class for those with too deep pockets and no drive. What can I say? I like the challenge.
****
I run a hand through my thick black beard and look at the crowd of lazy, overweight, and unmotivated people. I’m proud that they made it here. They are like sheep and I’m their shepherd. I care for them.
I pace in front of them, stopping at regular intervals, making eye contact with each and every one of them in turn. They dream of success, and I will make them work hard for it.
Mark wants to be a painter but he is too lazy to practice. I look him dead in the eye and nod.
Natalie wants to lose twenty pounds. I give her the thumbs up.
Joseph is too shy to ask out his dream girl. I give him a good, long look until he blushes and looks down.
Lisa needs her grades to go up but she’s always procrastinating instead of studying. I give her a smile.
Once I’ve gone through them all, I stop in the middle of the room. This is the moment. I flex my arms into an O in front of me. The veins bulge in my neck. I take a deep breath. This is it – make or break.
“Yesterday you said tomorrow!”
*****
For more information on how to better yourself: r/Lilwa_Dexel
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Maybe a groupie/teenage crush succubus, a fanboy pride demon or something else? Let your imagination flow!
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[WP] You die and go to hell for committing one of the seven deadly sins. However, you are not greeted by flames and torture, but a demon/ess that smuggled you away and is apparantly...your biggest fan.
|
"Ow. Fuck..."
I opened my eyes.
"...WAIT! HHEY, DON'T!"
I winced as a bright light blew up on my face.
"OH, GOD. It's really you."
I was still seeing partially white from the flash.
"Who?" I felt a cellphone on my hand with what appears to be my picture on it.
"You! It's really you! Go ahead. Check the next picture. Swipe right."
I complied without even looking where the strangely sexy voice came from. My head still hurt. It was like I woke up from a 20 hour sleep.
It was a screenshot from a news article.
 
***MINNESOTA TEENAGER KILLS 89, SELF IN DEADLIEST U.S. SCHOOL SHOOTING.***
This was me? I slowly recall my last day on Earth. That was definitely me. I slowly looked up. In one motion, I saw an exposed flat stomach, huge knockers, a beautiful face with asian features and perfectly applied eyeliner, and...goat horns?
"Way to go man! Were you expecting blackness? I believe you got it all wrong. Hence, you being here, aside from the mass homicide. You probably know by now that we're in hell. Well, city limits at least. Hell's over there."
She pointed to the source of loud screams and lights that could only come out of a campfire. It was hellfire.
"We probably should go." She told me. And before I could react, I felt her chest pressing against mine. I stopped touching the ground below my feet. I was...
"FLYING?! AH-" I gasped for air. No sound came out of me as I grabbed as tightly as I can to this devil chick thing. As the hot wind brushed through my hair, I found the courage to look over her shoulder see to what's behind us. Two cloaked figures carrying polearms were giving chase. I burrowed my head back into her shoulders almost immediately. I felt every zip and turn we took. Finally, the rollercoaster ride stopped as we landed on the ground.
*"Whew!"* She was sweating buckets. A huge drop trickled down her neck and onto her exposed chest. She noticed me looking. She didn't get mad. I thought I was seeing things because underneath the redness of hell I might've just seen her blush.
"So, do you mind explaining what was that?" I asked her. She was still trying to catch her breath and avoiding my gaze.
"Huh? Oh right! Hi. You're like, my hero. I've been following you since you got your first gun three years ago." She muttered and fumbled, struggling to get the words out. She was kinda cute, aside from the weird ass horns protruding from her head.
I looked at her quizzically. I still couldn't comprehend what had just transpired. This was my first out-of-earth experience after all.
"If those two got to us, they would've probably claimed your soul for cleansing." Her expression switched from embarrassed to stern.
"I'd probably be fucked too. They'd take my horns and do me like they do humans. But hey, I finally met you. It's worth. Here. Let's have some fun."
She clasped her hands together and pulled them apart. Fire came out of her hands and transmuted into something. She did this to an arms length and it was...a rifle - the very same surplus 'Nam era M16 that I used to shoot up that Godforsaken cesspool.
She handed me the rifle. *"Teach me."*
"But why would I need to?" I asked her. We're in hell after all. Why would it even matter?
"Trust me. Shoot that rock over there." She pointed to a small rock formation that stuck out from the ground at about knee level.
I pulled the trigger and fired three shots at it. The gun expelled its cartridges like expected. What I didn't expect was...
"Hey, that rock just-" I stuttered.
"Burst into flames?! Yeah! That's a *soul eraser*. It erases souls on the spot. Go figure. That rock has no soul, but it's from hell,I guess so it blows up like that. I-"
Her explanation was cut short by the sudden ominous energy coming right at us. The cloakies were back. I wasn't afraid.
"Hey, don't just stand there! Let's go!"
I didn't. Instead. I fired at them. A click at the chest and let the recoil shoot up to the head.
*Nothing happened.*
"Those guys don't have souls. Let's go!"
Wide eyed, I bolted towards her.
That was pretty much my first day in hell. It wasn't much. I could tell you more about it tomorrow when I find better internet down here.
_____________________________
*UPDATE: PART 2 is up! As promised. Let's march on over to [/r/meiplestories](https://www.reddit.com/r/meiplestories/comments/6iumbl/my_biggest_fan_2/)!*
|
"You..." Two pair of eyes looked at Dan admiringly, glowing brightly yellow in the dim cavern. "You're him..." its voice trailed off.
Dan coughed. The air smelled of sulfur and burnt flesh, and they stung his eyes and choked him. He spotted the creature in front of him, squatting on a nearby rock. Its skin was flaming red, with two small horns protruding from its head.
"Where am I?" Dan asked. His head was throbbing. The last thing he remembered was heading to his car, before hearing the sound of a loud bang, followed by the embrace of darkness. When he opened his eyes, he was already in the cave.
"Hell," the creature chirped, a smile forming on its face. As if it was supposed reassure Dan.
Dan however, bolted upright. "Hell? What do you mean hell?" He looked around him. The cave was barely bigger than his room, and the only source of lighting came from the entrance, a weak flicker of red and orange. The place was uncomfortably warm as well, and even though Dan realized, to his dismay, that he was not wearing anything, the heat still clawed at him.
Dan shook his head. This was not supposed to happen. He was not supposed to be in hell. Hell wasn't supposed to exist.
"Surprised?" the creature asked, probably reading Dan's mind. Dan figured that the creature was most probably an imp, if he was indeed telling the truth. It was barely taller than Dan's knees, and it looked more like a child than a hellish creature.
The creature flapped its wings and landed on Dan's shoulders. "You shouldn't be, you know. After what you've done on earth."
Dan frowned. The imp's words brought back memories from earth. "I was merely doing it for the good of the people!" Dan immediately countered. It was a line that he had used much too often. He pushed the imp away, and retreated to a corner.
The imp, however, did not seem convinced. It flicked its tails several times. "Do you really believe that, Governor Daniel, or are you trying to cover the real reason behind what you do? Greed?"
Dan clenched his fist. He wanted get out of the place, but he did not know where. He stood there, trapped. "Who are you?"
The imp giggled. "You can call me Avary. I'm from the greed department. And I also happen to be one of your biggest fan." Avary twirled its tail playfully, its yellow eyes glowing brighter. "And I happen to be one of your biggest fan."
Dan, however, was in no mood for any adoration. He has been feeling dreadful since he first opened his eyes to see the cave. "Why am I here?" he asked, even though he knew the question was stupid.
He was in hell for everything that he had done. Only that he never believed that any part of hell was true. His followers, maybe. But not him. He was merely using what they believed to further his agendas. Ironic how it was their beliefs that turned out to be right.
"Are you going torture me then? Burn me?" Dan asked.
Avary shook her head. "Oh no, I saved you from those. I wanted you for myself. The things you did and said, they were amazing."
Dad did not know whether he should feel relieved or scared.
"Does this means, I'm free? No torture and burning for me right? You'll set me free?" Dan wanted to get out of the place, even though he knew hell was for eternity. Perhaps his fan could help him.
Avary however shook her head. "Oh no, I just want your autograph. After that, I would really much like to enjoy seeing the show that our department has planned for you." Her eyes twinkled.
--------------
*What's hell without all the bureaucratic nightmare? More tales at /r/dori_tales!*
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Maybe a groupie/teenage crush succubus, a fanboy pride demon or something else? Let your imagination flow!
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[WP] You die and go to hell for committing one of the seven deadly sins. However, you are not greeted by flames and torture, but a demon/ess that smuggled you away and is apparantly...your biggest fan.
|
"Ow. Fuck..."
I opened my eyes.
"...WAIT! HHEY, DON'T!"
I winced as a bright light blew up on my face.
"OH, GOD. It's really you."
I was still seeing partially white from the flash.
"Who?" I felt a cellphone on my hand with what appears to be my picture on it.
"You! It's really you! Go ahead. Check the next picture. Swipe right."
I complied without even looking where the strangely sexy voice came from. My head still hurt. It was like I woke up from a 20 hour sleep.
It was a screenshot from a news article.
 
***MINNESOTA TEENAGER KILLS 89, SELF IN DEADLIEST U.S. SCHOOL SHOOTING.***
This was me? I slowly recall my last day on Earth. That was definitely me. I slowly looked up. In one motion, I saw an exposed flat stomach, huge knockers, a beautiful face with asian features and perfectly applied eyeliner, and...goat horns?
"Way to go man! Were you expecting blackness? I believe you got it all wrong. Hence, you being here, aside from the mass homicide. You probably know by now that we're in hell. Well, city limits at least. Hell's over there."
She pointed to the source of loud screams and lights that could only come out of a campfire. It was hellfire.
"We probably should go." She told me. And before I could react, I felt her chest pressing against mine. I stopped touching the ground below my feet. I was...
"FLYING?! AH-" I gasped for air. No sound came out of me as I grabbed as tightly as I can to this devil chick thing. As the hot wind brushed through my hair, I found the courage to look over her shoulder see to what's behind us. Two cloaked figures carrying polearms were giving chase. I burrowed my head back into her shoulders almost immediately. I felt every zip and turn we took. Finally, the rollercoaster ride stopped as we landed on the ground.
*"Whew!"* She was sweating buckets. A huge drop trickled down her neck and onto her exposed chest. She noticed me looking. She didn't get mad. I thought I was seeing things because underneath the redness of hell I might've just seen her blush.
"So, do you mind explaining what was that?" I asked her. She was still trying to catch her breath and avoiding my gaze.
"Huh? Oh right! Hi. You're like, my hero. I've been following you since you got your first gun three years ago." She muttered and fumbled, struggling to get the words out. She was kinda cute, aside from the weird ass horns protruding from her head.
I looked at her quizzically. I still couldn't comprehend what had just transpired. This was my first out-of-earth experience after all.
"If those two got to us, they would've probably claimed your soul for cleansing." Her expression switched from embarrassed to stern.
"I'd probably be fucked too. They'd take my horns and do me like they do humans. But hey, I finally met you. It's worth. Here. Let's have some fun."
She clasped her hands together and pulled them apart. Fire came out of her hands and transmuted into something. She did this to an arms length and it was...a rifle - the very same surplus 'Nam era M16 that I used to shoot up that Godforsaken cesspool.
She handed me the rifle. *"Teach me."*
"But why would I need to?" I asked her. We're in hell after all. Why would it even matter?
"Trust me. Shoot that rock over there." She pointed to a small rock formation that stuck out from the ground at about knee level.
I pulled the trigger and fired three shots at it. The gun expelled its cartridges like expected. What I didn't expect was...
"Hey, that rock just-" I stuttered.
"Burst into flames?! Yeah! That's a *soul eraser*. It erases souls on the spot. Go figure. That rock has no soul, but it's from hell,I guess so it blows up like that. I-"
Her explanation was cut short by the sudden ominous energy coming right at us. The cloakies were back. I wasn't afraid.
"Hey, don't just stand there! Let's go!"
I didn't. Instead. I fired at them. A click at the chest and let the recoil shoot up to the head.
*Nothing happened.*
"Those guys don't have souls. Let's go!"
Wide eyed, I bolted towards her.
That was pretty much my first day in hell. It wasn't much. I could tell you more about it tomorrow when I find better internet down here.
_____________________________
*UPDATE: PART 2 is up! As promised. Let's march on over to [/r/meiplestories](https://www.reddit.com/r/meiplestories/comments/6iumbl/my_biggest_fan_2/)!*
|
"I can't believe you're finally here!"
I coughed and sputtered as the sulfuric air filled my lungs. I was dead. I remembered climbing onto the chair, sliding the rope around my neck. I remember the feeling of breathlessness, and my vision fading to black as I drifted off to finally put end to my suffering. But instead of the darkness greeting me, I was here, underneath a red tinted sky; surrounded by demons and horrors I'd only read about in stories.
"Wh-where am I?" I gasped out.
"You're in Hell, silly! You know I've been waiting for you. I'm a big fan of your work."
The creature in front of me had to be at least eight feet tall. She had glowing red eyes and smooth black skin. She was beautiful in a severe sort of way.
"What? But I... I'm a good person. I never hurt anybody."
"I know, honey, but all suicides go to Hell. Sorry, but it's a Wrath violation."
"Oh...that's..." My voice trailed off. I didn't know what to say, but the demon in front of me was looking at me expectantly.
"Uh...you said you were a fan of mine?"
"Yes! I'm a huge fan of your writing!"
"Oh, I... well that's really nice of you."
It was something I'd never expected to hear. I must have written a dozen novels in my lifetime, but I'd tossed each one in the rubbish pile before it was finished, too self-conscious to even read my own work, let alone let someone else read it.
"So, uh... am I going to be punished?"
"Oh no, honey. Suicides may get sent to Hell on a technicality, but Satan doesn't punish people who only hurt themselves. You're free to do whatever you want."
"Oh... great. Uh... what is there to do in Hell?"
"Well, there's demon college. You can learn about demonic possession, and if you do well, you can go back to Earth in another body."
I looked around at the bleak Hellscape around me and decided that that sounded like a good option.
"So uh... how do I get there?"
"Come with me, I'll show you. We can go together!"
The giant demoness picked me up and threw me over her shoulder. She kicked off the ground hard and giant wings kicked up dust as we flew off.
"It'll take you a couple hundred years to learn the art of possession." She said. "But maybe when you go back to Earth we can go together."
"Uh... sure." I said, not wanting to refuse the giant demon who could drop me from the sky at any moment.
"Great," she said. "You're going to do great, I can already tell."
And she was right, in the end. It only took me 164 years to learn the art of possession, and after that it took me ten years on the waiting list for a soul to open up.
Now that I'm back on Earth, I don't mind sharing my writing with others anymore. I guess it helps that I've got my biggest fan right here with me.
_____________
[My author's page on Facebook](http://fb.me/lifeisstrangemetoo)
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Dead or alive? Idk. Up to you :)
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[WP] A thousand years ago, you sacrificed yourself to save the colony ship. Now, they've finally found you.
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I woke up with a start, gasping deep breaths of air. Looking around, I was in a medical bay that was far too white and far too shiny. "Where am I?" I asked, wondering to myself.
"You're aboard the Federation of Man Interstellar ship Flight of the Trailblazer," came the response.
"Flight of the Trailblazer? Federation of Man? Who are you? What happened?," I asked, more confused than ever. I had a million questions, but held off on the rest, hoping for a response.
A person entered through the door. "Ah, Mr. Beauregard, good to see you awake." As the person came into focus, I saw that he or she was wearing an all-white outfit from head to toe, exposing only his eyes which were covered in plastic.
"Hello," I said, confused. "Who are you? Where am I?"
"I'm Doctor Herschel," said the person as it wrapped something around my arm. I was still unsure whether it was male, female or other. "Mr. Beauregard, what's the last thing that you remember?"
"Call me Ishamel," I said, having always hated being called Mr. "I was aboard the Trailblazer. We were headed towards the Trappist system to plant the first interstellar colony when an asteroid impacted with our hull."
The cuff started humming. "Umm," I continued, a bit distracted by the humming. "The trailblazer had ten thousand colonists and a hundred crew on board, all on a one-way trip, all in cold sleep when the asteroid hit. The ship's AI woke us crew up and sealed off the section of the ship that was impacted to prevent oxy loss."
"Uh huh," said the Doctor, focusing more on the cuff than the story.
"Ok," I said as the cuff started beeping, a bit annoyed by the lack of attention. "Anyway, after all of the crew had shaken off the cold sleep lethargy, I was sent to investigate. What I found was a small alien creature, scorpionesque, that had already dined its way through several dozen cold sleep pods, leaving behind nothing more than skeletons. It had somehow moved past the impact site and into the cryo holds."
"The thing came for me next. I grabbed it in an attempt to throw it off the ship, but it had quickly put its sinkers in me and was preparing to suck the life out of me. Not knowing what else to do, I went to the nearest airlock and cycled through with that thing attached to me."
"I don't remember what happened after that," I said, shaking my head.
The cuff buzzed and fell off. "Congratulations," said the doctor. "All traces of Thoraxian digestive fluids have been eradicated from your body. Can you tell me what year it is?"
I snorted. "No. I didn't bother checking. We were some distance into a seventy year flight."
"Ok," said the Doctor. "What year did you leave and when were you supposed to land?"
"2269 and 2339," I replied.
The doctor sighed. It pulled back the hood, revealing a face with feminine features and a head of long blond hair. I was assuming that she was a she now. "It is currently 3300, Terran Standard Years. We found you floating in space far from the planned path of the Trailblazer, nearly frozen to death. We suspect that the Thoraxian kept you alive when it injected you with the digestive fluids, similar to the state of suspended animation you experienced while in cold sleep."
"Dr. Herschel," I said, "what happened to the crew? to the passengers?," thinking of my family. My brother, my parents.
"All of the remaining crew and passengers made it safely." She paused. "Great-uncle, Trappist and the Federation owe you a great debt of gratitude."
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"Get going, you are our only hope” She said over the comms unit.
"OK” The calm robotic voice replied.
Whilst not as dramatic as Sarah had hoped, she was satisfied in her work. Over the course of the last four months she feared her robotic legacy would be in vain. The previous years of war across the globe had wiped out 60% of the Earth’s population. The cold war like fledgling relations of the remaining governments had stalled humanities progress, leaving the door open for any freak disaster to wipe out the species. And of all the disasters this one was the freakiest.
Although it was seen from light years away it could not be understood. Some immediately jumped to aliens, others blamed the natural destruction of a nearby star. Whatever it was, it was arriving fast. A huge cloud of highly concentrated interstellar gas was travelling at four fifths the speed of light and was heading straight for the solar system. On impact, it was theorised that it would strip the atmosphere from the planets, play havoc with the Sun and alter anything in orbit. The small colonies on the Moon and Mars had long been written off. The remaining wealthy people on Earth planned to sleep their way though it thanks to cryogenics. The rest had already consigned themselves to their fate.
Whilst the governments were content with sitting on their thumbs, from fear and sheer stubbornness, Sarah had other ideas. An engineer by trade, she planned a novel way to continue her species succession in the monarchy of the universe. Utilising what high speed processors she could get through the various trade embargoes, she constructed a team of ten humanoid robots. The leader, narcissistically named Sarah, had been placed in control of a small rocket, aimed at Alpha Centauri, with the hope that they might find a way of existing. Owing to the ships small size, Sarah daren’t go with them. Instead, ever resourceful, she erected what appeared like a large flower in her back garden. With solar panel petals and a cryogenic stem Sarah planned to outlive the apocalypse in her hippy style habitat.
Four days before the interstellar cloud was due to appear the rocket was readied. Armed with a high-powered ion motor the rocket had fuel so long as it had energy. The small built in nuclear reactor aimed to satisfy this need, with enough appropriated fuel to power the engine active for a decade. Borrowing a launch pad from one of the lackadaisical governments of the globe, Sarah readied her finger over the button. With a swift press the craft was away, and with-it humanities premier legacy of its time in the universe. Decades of prolonged conflict, power hungry corporations and corruptible media had lead the human race into a modern plague. Put simply, people didn’t care anymore. The human race had said enough was enough, and civilisation collapsed aside from a few determined individuals. They aimed to prove that life was worth living, or at least planned to not die bored.
Once home, Sarah locked herself within the flower, and with the flick of switch, was all but dead.
With the flick of another switch she was back. Throwing open her eyes and taking sharp swift breaths Sarah realised her life had not ended. As her senses recovered, the sheet metal door in front of her dragged itself open. Starring her in face was Sarah, the robot imbued with her name, that was meant to be somewhere near Alpha Centauri. Rather than a desolate world, behind the robot was fields of grass sparsely populated with trees. Sharing this space was an army of robots.
"I’m here to help you Sarah” Said Sarah.
*Thank you for reading!*
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[WP] You are in a coma but little bits of reality start to bleed through and into your dreams.
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With the final swing of my blade, I rend the Titan in two, and the cheer of the city fills my ears.
"Reg-in-ald! Reg-in-ald!" The crowd yells, their face a mixture of pure ecstasy and adrenaline. I give them a wink, (And hit them with the finger guns; my signature move) before floating down from the skies, like a messiah, and into their loving arms.
I don't think I'll ever get sick of the sensation of 1,000 hands desperately clawing past each other just to get a glancing touch on my body. It's like being a bath of velvet; aggressive, sometimes horny, velvet.
"Reginald," The mayor yells, a marching band of brass singing a tune that bleeds my name behind him. "You've saved this city yet again. We're indebted to you, like usual, is there anything we can do."
"Haha," I laugh, humbly. "No, your thanks is all I need."
The smile of a mayor is a thing of beauty. With a loving hand, he holds my shoulder and says, "Please... just wake up."
...
"What?" I ask. "I don't think I could hear you over the screaming and loving fans of mine. Don't blame them," I hear several women get pregnant as I turn and give them another dashing smile. "It's only natural."
"I said, you're too grand!" The mayor laughs, and a joyous explosion erupts around me.
"Reg-in-ald!" They sing again. Oh, how they sing, like a chorus of angels. I lean down and throw my hand around; I demand another hymn, another verse, I want to hear my name drown out the world.
"I need you!" The crowd cheers.
"I know!" I yell back, smiling so wide, so hard, god it hurts.
"I miss you! Come back; I can't do this anymore,"
I hold my head. God, this hurts.
"Every day I wake up, and I thank God you didn't die. I consider myself blessed just because YOU didn't die and I don't even know why; I'm not the one stuck laying in this fucking bed for months after being hit by a truck. You are, you are Reginald, but you're not dead, you didn't die, fuck. I hate how melancholy this all feels. You're not dead; that's great. You're not alive though, are you? Are you?"
The city fades, and I'm alone. My world is fading.
"Please, just wake up."
And I do.
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Check out /r/Rhysyjay for other neat stuff.
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I've almost forgotten. The accident, the hospital. The world I've constructed in this bed is basically the same. She's here, well my image of her at least. The only time I'm reminded of my "condition" with her is when I win our fights. When I first slipped into the coma it felt as though I was trapped in one of those stock framed photos. The ones where you're suppose to take the original photo, with a terrifyingly happy family, and replace it with a picture of a loving, real family, so-so on the happiness spectrum. Placed in a world eerily similar to mine, but devoid of emotion I filled it. Where emptiness reminded me of the fact that I was trapped in a coma, I replaced it with what I remembered from reality. And where emptiness reminded me of the life I led before the coma... well I just left it for realism's sake. Now, the world outside this bed only pokes through in my dreams. My mother's hand on mine, my brother's laugh, these are the clues that something is not quite right in my realm. Some days though, they're just dreams. I wake up and turn to her, telling her of this horrible nightmare where I wrecked my car and was in a coma. She'll calm me back to sleep, telling me it was only a dream. Soon, that's all they'll be. Everything from before, just one bad dream.
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EDIT: Thanks for your answers! This is by far my most upvoted post. I'm happy you liked my prompt!
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[WP] You die and find out that there is an afterlife and yes, there is a way to come back. As soon as you get face to face with God, you find out why nobody has ever attempted to return to Earth...
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"You could go back, yes. But there isn't much point at this stage."
The voice smothered the lone figure standing at the base of the column with every word. Heaven being exactly as you expect it to be, a limitless sky with a landscape of clouds and golden spires. The column itself appears to be marble, and try as they might the one standing at the base cannot see the top. It extends beyond their sight into a dazzling brightness.
The vision of God itself.
The figure hesitated, then forced themselves to speak.
"But you don't understand, I have to go back! I was taken before my time. My family...my children...my husband! I can't leave them alone."
She nervously played with her hands as she spoke, as if she were some toddler talking back to her strict mother about some objection, scared that at any point she could blow and punish her. However the voice was ever calm and gentle.
"You don't understand. Ask yourself this Kelly. Since this choice was always available, why hasn't anyone else decided to go back?"
Kelly pondered on this. Maybe it's simply because they didn't know they could? Oh, wait. She didn't know herself until God told her, presumably it gives the same welcoming speech to every new soul here.
Maybe then it's fear? Some may see this as a test to judge their desire to stay in Heaven? Some might be so indoctrinated to their respective faith they simply can't entertain the idea of such a choice to begin with?
Kelly thought quite hard, but inevitably the bottom line was all the same. Plenty of people would go back to their old lives and loved ones in a heartbeat, yet they *chose* not to. So...why?
Kelly looks back, careful not to look directly into the blinding light and asks the question.
"OK. Tell me then. Why do people decide not to go back?"
The light begins to change. It dims then it brightens. It goes from shades of red, to purple, to blue and back to clear white light again. Why this happens Kelly can't tell, but after a time the voice begins again.
"The *very* simple answer is that the world you come from is...broken."
Kelly looked confused.
"Broken? Wait, this isn't going to lead into some Ying Yang devil influence thing is it?"
"No, no nothing like that. Being a creator means making different versions. You test, refine, improve.
The reason no-one goes back to your *specific* world is because by today's standards it is obsolete. There are better versions, with better features."
This is not making sense. Why is God talking like this? There can't be other versions of Earth can there? Unless...
"Oh...wait. Is this the multiverse thing instead? Different dimensions, each with it's own Earth but with minor changes?"
Another quick light display from the light. Kelly considers the idea that it could be what it does when thinking.
"Better. On the right lines at least. However previous versions do not exist. You know the reason your world has yet to discover life outside your own planet is because there is none. When development on your version stopped it was shelved and left."
Kelly's eyes widened.
"Wha? So...alien life exists in the um...latest version?"
"Oh sure. Not only that, the humans are somewhat more advanced as well. They are better able to handle this little feature, nevermind the others."
"...other features?"
"You know. Magic, advanced technology, you know in the latest version they really did have hoverboards in 2015. I could go on."
Kelly's eyes glazed over, she began to understand. A world where everything the old world inspired to become already exists? She could see how some wouldn't hesitate to see it for themselves. But there was still something else.
"I think I see. It certainly sounds like a world worth going to but even the best version you have won't have my family. I love them. They can't be replaced."
Another light show. It's beginning to be more of a distraction than a show now, Kelly ponders.
"It is a romantic notion young one, but yes...they can."
What. How? Kelly doesn't believe it. And since it, being God, likely knows this too it doesn't hang around for dramatic effect.
"Like the planet itself, the life that inhabits it also has various versions of the same thing. So not only do those you know and love exist in the latest version...chances are they too are superior to the versions you know."
Kelly reacts to this as you expect, and since God insulted her she wastes no time with a retort that could trip it up.
"Well if that is the case, then there must be a better version of me on that world too. So what happens to them if I decide to go hmm? Does that Kelly just cease to exist?"
"Oh, no. We just merge you. Perhaps it's already happened to you before, you just never knew it. Situations like Deja Vu, past lives or the overpowering feeling of being someplace before despite it being the first time you see it...they are all unavoidable quirks of being merged. We do it all the time."
Kelly's eyes begin to cross, this is getting a bit confusing.
"So...is that Heaven then. You take the soul of everyone, and simply add them back into the current version which by comparison could be considered Heaven?"
Another light show. Kelly wants it to stop now.
"Why...yes. That is accurate. And before you enquire, new versions are released quite fast. Very fast in fact. No matter who passes on what version, there is always a newer version waiting for them."
Kelly nods slowly. Does she really get it? She isn't sure. It's likely a lot of people would be left confused after these realisations.
So the question now is, does she do it?
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'I love you too honey, I'll be home soon' Jack said into his phone as he hurried out of the grocery store, bags full of steak, wine, and flowers. Jack had written Heather a card during his lunch breaks at work. An apology letter for his betrayal to her. Heather had just recently decided to give him another chance. Jack was determined to get their relationship back to where it was, if not better.
Jack begins crossing the street. He starts to put his phone away when he hears the chime of a text message go off. He looks down at his screen.
'Hey, I know you said you would never speak to me again. But we really need to talk' - Shannon.
'Shit! I can't be dealing with this right now' Jack thought to himself. He paused for a moment and toggled through to Shannon's profile on his phone. He clicked through the settings until he came to a button that said 'Block'. Jack pressed the button hard.
*Honk, Honk!* Jack looks up just in time to see the headlights of an SUV barreling right towards him. A black man wearing a do-rag and smoking a cigarette was driving. He had his arms out wide, wearing the universal 'are you a dumbass?' face. Jack was hit directly by the SUV.
*
'Where am I?' Jack thought to himself as he looked around himself and saw a land that seemed to be resting on top of billowing white clouds.
Jack felt his head, his chest, his legs. He remembered the crash and remembered an agonizing jolt of pain when he was hit by the vehicle. All that pain was gone now and replaced with the best feeling of health he had ever experienced in his life. He felt energy swelling up throughout his body, he felt strong, energetic. His brain felt rejuvenated, as if he had just waken up from a great nap on his day off and drank a cup of coffee. He looked around and saw angels with giant, white wings soaring above him. The women were beautiful, blondes with huge breasts. He saw people flying through the air, even though they didn't have any wings.
Jack tried to imitate the flying people and pushed off of the ground up in the air. To his surprise, he didn't come back down but kept being propelled upwards. He noticed that he could control where his body flew with his will. He willed himself to soar through the air, dashing around glowing cloud mountains, and swooping down into cloud valleys full of blossoming fruit trees. The fruit sang as he glided past them. As he zigged and zagged through the orchard of trees, he reached his hand in one of the trees and pulled out a giant, ripe pear.
'Hi there Jack' the pear said with a deep, masculine woman's voice.
'Oh, hey' Jack said confused.
'I'm petunia. Welcome to Heaven' Petunia said.
'Oh...ok' Jack said in a wavering voice.
'It's ok Jack, you can still eat me' Petunia said.
'What? I wasn't going to do that. Wait, are you sure?' Jack said hesitantly.
'Absolutely, I love to be eaten by newcomers. Don't worry, I'll just grow back from my seed' Petunia said with deep, heaving breaths.
'All right then' Jack said as he began biting off large chunks of flesh from the pear.
'Oh God yes, God, yes!' Petunia shouted as Jack soared through the air and ate the pear.
'Did someone say God?' A giant, muscular, white bearded man with a full set of white, billowing hair said as he apparated out of thin air.
'Oh God!' Jack screamed when he saw God.
'Mmmyeah?' God asked in a humming, sing-song voice. 'Is there anything you wish to ask me, Jack?'.
Jack thought for a moment. There were so many things he had wanted to ask God, but right now all he could think about was how he got here.
'God, how did I get here?' Jack asked.
'Well, you were hit by an SUV, don't you remember?' God said smugly.
'No, I mean, how did I get here? After I died' Jack said.
* To be continued
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EDIT: Thanks for your answers! This is by far my most upvoted post. I'm happy you liked my prompt!
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[WP] You die and find out that there is an afterlife and yes, there is a way to come back. As soon as you get face to face with God, you find out why nobody has ever attempted to return to Earth...
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"Is there any way to go back? I need to return now or everything will end. Can't you see?"
After his explanation God's features softened and he pitied this man deeply as he had pitied all those he had explained this to before. *A second chance of life in exchange for your soul. After you died the next time, you would have to spend eternity in hell.*
The man's harried features creased in thought as he weighed up the offer and wrestled with its implications. "Has anyone ever taken this offer?"
"Not through choice. But there was one who had to return as a favour to me." And the man had understood why easily. But he must go back. He needed to tell them or they'd all die.
"Is there any way past it? Could I live a life so good that it would overcome this agreement on my soul?" God pondered this question not for its originality, he had been asked this many times before, but to ensure his answer had the weight it deserved. Even God felt guilt and would abhor sending this man back with false hope.
"It would take a deed of great magnanimity to achieve. A handful of men, now celebrated as saints, have done deeds as great as required and at great personal pain and hardship, but not to go back. They did these things in life as they chose for the good of humanity. Most Saints ordained would not have done enough to fulfill this bargain and once more, if you act in such a way for personal gain, with this deal in mind, even the greatest act would be in selfish pursuits and void its merit and this agreement. It is almost impossible to do."
God's words echoed through the man's mind as eternal damnation loomed as a storm cloud ahead. But this would be no storm it would be a slow drip of pain and misery that never ended. But they needed to know. They all needed to know.
"I want to go back."
God flinched. Does this man understand? He thought. But he saw in his eyes the steadfast belief in what he was doing that he had seen a handful of times before. And he knew why he was going. Chief scientist at the Hadron Collider killed by a burst of energy that if not stopped, and it could still be stopped, would engulf the world and destroy everything in it and the galaxy around it.
"Okay you will go back to the moment before your death with enough time to stop it, but no more. Do you still wish to proceed? If you fail you will die again and as I see, so will all those around you."
The thought of hell emerged again but the man had already decided. "Yes, I will go," he answered, "for as you see, I have to."
"Very well," God replied. And with uncertainty in his heart, as this man's action were not selfish, he sent him back. With a feeling, or was it a hope, that they may meet again.
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'I love you too honey, I'll be home soon' Jack said into his phone as he hurried out of the grocery store, bags full of steak, wine, and flowers. Jack had written Heather a card during his lunch breaks at work. An apology letter for his betrayal to her. Heather had just recently decided to give him another chance. Jack was determined to get their relationship back to where it was, if not better.
Jack begins crossing the street. He starts to put his phone away when he hears the chime of a text message go off. He looks down at his screen.
'Hey, I know you said you would never speak to me again. But we really need to talk' - Shannon.
'Shit! I can't be dealing with this right now' Jack thought to himself. He paused for a moment and toggled through to Shannon's profile on his phone. He clicked through the settings until he came to a button that said 'Block'. Jack pressed the button hard.
*Honk, Honk!* Jack looks up just in time to see the headlights of an SUV barreling right towards him. A black man wearing a do-rag and smoking a cigarette was driving. He had his arms out wide, wearing the universal 'are you a dumbass?' face. Jack was hit directly by the SUV.
*
'Where am I?' Jack thought to himself as he looked around himself and saw a land that seemed to be resting on top of billowing white clouds.
Jack felt his head, his chest, his legs. He remembered the crash and remembered an agonizing jolt of pain when he was hit by the vehicle. All that pain was gone now and replaced with the best feeling of health he had ever experienced in his life. He felt energy swelling up throughout his body, he felt strong, energetic. His brain felt rejuvenated, as if he had just waken up from a great nap on his day off and drank a cup of coffee. He looked around and saw angels with giant, white wings soaring above him. The women were beautiful, blondes with huge breasts. He saw people flying through the air, even though they didn't have any wings.
Jack tried to imitate the flying people and pushed off of the ground up in the air. To his surprise, he didn't come back down but kept being propelled upwards. He noticed that he could control where his body flew with his will. He willed himself to soar through the air, dashing around glowing cloud mountains, and swooping down into cloud valleys full of blossoming fruit trees. The fruit sang as he glided past them. As he zigged and zagged through the orchard of trees, he reached his hand in one of the trees and pulled out a giant, ripe pear.
'Hi there Jack' the pear said with a deep, masculine woman's voice.
'Oh, hey' Jack said confused.
'I'm petunia. Welcome to Heaven' Petunia said.
'Oh...ok' Jack said in a wavering voice.
'It's ok Jack, you can still eat me' Petunia said.
'What? I wasn't going to do that. Wait, are you sure?' Jack said hesitantly.
'Absolutely, I love to be eaten by newcomers. Don't worry, I'll just grow back from my seed' Petunia said with deep, heaving breaths.
'All right then' Jack said as he began biting off large chunks of flesh from the pear.
'Oh God yes, God, yes!' Petunia shouted as Jack soared through the air and ate the pear.
'Did someone say God?' A giant, muscular, white bearded man with a full set of white, billowing hair said as he apparated out of thin air.
'Oh God!' Jack screamed when he saw God.
'Mmmyeah?' God asked in a humming, sing-song voice. 'Is there anything you wish to ask me, Jack?'.
Jack thought for a moment. There were so many things he had wanted to ask God, but right now all he could think about was how he got here.
'God, how did I get here?' Jack asked.
'Well, you were hit by an SUV, don't you remember?' God said smugly.
'No, I mean, how did I get here? After I died' Jack said.
* To be continued
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[WP] Lycanthropes exist, they just keep themselves secret because they have 'uncool' transformations. No wolves, bears or Jaguars - just animals like pigeons, poodles and raccoons.
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The officer leaned over Bill, planting his palms on the cold steel table. "One more time. I want you to tell me _one more time._ "
Bill buried his face in his hands. "I swear. I swear to God, I didn't do it."
"They're *dead.* And there you were, covered in blood. You tell me *how* you didn't do it."
"I can't tell you. You won't believe me. I swear..." Bill glanced out the tiny barred window, watching the day's light fade. Tears welled in his eyes and rolled out onto his cheeks.
"That's not an alibi, son. Every guy out there who's killed a man says the same thing."
His ears were getting itchy. That was always the first sign. Would the officer shoot him when he started changing? Police were twitchy these days. If they would shoot a guy for selling weed or something, they'd want to kill a man who looked like a monster from some Stephen King book. He cringed in his chair and covered his ears.
"What's going on?" The officer thumped his hand on the table, but there wasn't any force behind it -- now, he was just confused. He ducked and peeked at Bill's tear-streaked face.
Huge brown eyes looked back, wet and frightened. Fur rustled under the man's white-knuckled fingers, sprouting like grass from his cheeks, as cold yellow moonlight washed in through the window. His teeth crackled as they sharpened and lengthened, his canines stretching into long wicked fangs. Unable to look away, the officer watched with his jaw hanging open, his hand creeping toward his gun.
Bill's hands shook as he slowly lowered them to his lap. "See, Officer? I can't...I can't kill a man right now."
"I'll be damned if you can't." All the force had gone out of the policeman's voice. "What the hell *are* you?"
"I'm a were--" He felt his voice cut off as his throat seized up. He wasn't human enough now to talk, his ears stretching and jaw rearranging and shoulders twisting into a new shape. He rolled to the side, falling off the chair as his legs reformed and a tail sprouted under his pants. As he caught himself on his forelimbs, he panted and growled, his claws scrabbling on the concrete floor.
He looked up, teeth bared, a snarl bursting from his throat. The officer looked down, his hand falling away from his gun. Slowly, mouth still open in surprise, the cop began to laugh.
"A were...wiener dog?"
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Everybody loves a good werewolf story right? They'd probably be less interested if they knew the truth.
Werewolves are real. Technically. I don't know why but occasionally lycanthropes are born. They called us wolf-men. Humanities two greatest fears combined into one creature. Wolves are terrifying. Alone, you have a massive, strong creature with razor sharp teeth. Together, you have a fierce pack that can take down even the largest prey. Add human intelligence and cruelty and nothing could stand against the pack.
Then humanity built fences. We built cities and walls. We invented the longbow, the musket, the rifle, machine-guns, and helicopters. In some places we drove the wolf to extinction. I read stories about Russians even hunting them from helicopters. Wolves are still around, but no one fears them.
I have a theory. As far as I know I'm the only lycanthrope in my generation. You can't google this but I've started calling myself a phobothrope. Fear-man might not be as terrifying as wolf-man but my mom didn't fear wolves. You see, my grandfather loved his dogs but they hated everyone else. Whenever I asked my mother if we could get a dog, she would always say no and rub the strange scars on her forearm.
The transformations started when I went through puberty. Under the light of the full moon I would transform into my mother's greatest fear. I don't know if there are others like me. I don't exactly advertise. It's too embarrassing.
I'm a werepoodle.
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[WP] You are a being from a distant planet. Today, you meet the first aliens. They call themselves "Humans".
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I attached the camera to my head, and made sure that the gas mask was on tightly around my mouth parts before stepping out of the familiar clear air of my ship into the strange, faintly eggshell-blue tinted air that these 'Humans' breathed. It took all of my diplomatic training to not quiver with disgust at these strange fleshy beings. The lead one, clothed in tightly fitting dark blue uniform of some sort, motioned towards me, making motions with its stubby arms that conveyed to me its amical nature. I returned with a strange movement that the xenobiologists had drilled into me as a sign of respect, a flick of the arm from the top of the head outwards. The aliens talked amongst themselves, grunts echoing dully in the dense atmosphere. I lifted up my tablet and typed out a question that synthetically played in their language. "Shall we get to business?"
The lead human pressed at a device placed in some recess behind those strange fleshy protrusions on the sides of the head, and their voice was translated into mine. "Of course, come this way"
They lead me to a large room, with two seats at a low glass topped table, presumably holographic; each seat designed for one of us. Taking the hint, I lowered myself into the seat. Unable to truly relax, I kept my thorax lifted off the ground. I placed my tablet on the table and typed out again. "You already have the full drawn out agreement sent to you, are there any terms that need to be defined further before we seal it?"
The human sat down, with the others hanging back near the wall. They replied. "There is just one term we find interesting..." They brought up the specific page of the agreement on the screen of the table.
"What about it?"
"Why cane sugar in particular?"
"It tastes good"
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The humans are simple. act and behave out of kindness and generosity, they communicate verbally and convey emotions to one another. The way of the ancestors millions of years ago. It is important to remember the ancestors had many flaws warfare and destruction over menial problems. it was only after our people had done away with violence that we found peace. I had met with leaders of their world to find not one world leader but many. there was something wrong however. the ones they refer to as Americans tried to grab me, study me. The "men" as they're called ran for me. threatened i merely separated the matter inside their funny little heads. i see now that the race known as "humans" are a dangerous, violent and undisciplined the species that must not be allowed to leave their world much less have the ability to destroy one another. i personally have rendered their instruments of destruction inert. some resisted of course but resistance was expected initially. The humans were dangerous. Now they are not. i will continue my efforts here with no resistance.
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[WP] You are a being from a distant planet. Today, you meet the first aliens. They call themselves "Humans".
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Log 13:887:99:04
The seat of learning they have here is called a library. They store their information here in paper and on disks and screens; I will get to an overview of the technology later.
This is a wonderful place to observe them though, as they have to stay quiet in the learning spaces. This means I could see their biggest power - they can actually change the mood of those around them non verbally. If they walk into a room happy, people around them become happier. If they are impatient or anxious, they spread that as well. Even anger seems to spread this way, and no one of them seems to have more of this power than another - it is equally shared.
The strange thing is, they just spread whatever mood they find themselves in with nary a thought to those around them, nor any idea they can spread positivity. It is as if they are unaware of their own power to shape the world around them with love.
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The humans are simple. act and behave out of kindness and generosity, they communicate verbally and convey emotions to one another. The way of the ancestors millions of years ago. It is important to remember the ancestors had many flaws warfare and destruction over menial problems. it was only after our people had done away with violence that we found peace. I had met with leaders of their world to find not one world leader but many. there was something wrong however. the ones they refer to as Americans tried to grab me, study me. The "men" as they're called ran for me. threatened i merely separated the matter inside their funny little heads. i see now that the race known as "humans" are a dangerous, violent and undisciplined the species that must not be allowed to leave their world much less have the ability to destroy one another. i personally have rendered their instruments of destruction inert. some resisted of course but resistance was expected initially. The humans were dangerous. Now they are not. i will continue my efforts here with no resistance.
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Edit: Thank you all so much for this!! The idea came to me in the shower about a week ago, as a thought about "what really weird things we could find as we set to explore the galaxy?". I liked it because there are so many possible angles, and because it hasn't been done before AFAIK (???). I am having a blast reading all your stories.
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[WP] It's the year 2851. Humanity develops interstellar travel and begins to explore the Milky Way galaxy in search for life. However, much to everyone's surprise, instead of alien life we find... Earth's biosphere complete with humans, repeated over and over at different stages of progress.
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"Fuck this ship" Molly exclaims with a sneer, repose and naked on the 846 floor of the Kuma, a freshly gentrified region of an old explorer ship. "Fuck this galaxy" whispers Hito, blowing breath on Molly's shoulder while surveying the freckles there that are endearing now, but may cease to be after they've had sex another hundred more times. But for now he finds them beautiful. He relates for a moment their scattershot arrangement as a mirror of grander things. Like the galaxy they are in. There's just been an announcement that another Earth has been found. The announcers voice reveals his androgynous nature. A tone at middle C. Neither male nor female. He's probably had extra fun nerves implanted into one of his existing, or surgically fashioned fuck holes. But the couple doesn't judge. Everyone is bored on this ship. Whatever gets you through they think. They tune out the rest of the details. They don't care. No one cares. No one has in years. Not since they found the orb drive on planet 73682737whatever. The orb drive has all universal knowledge contained within it. Once the brain trust figures out what it is, they can all go home. Deciphering it is one thing. It's finding a living being that can understand it. But much like trying to explain 3D to a 2 dimensional being, no one has enough brain capacity - synthetic or otherwise - to contain enough slivers of it in their mind to observe and make sense of it. And all the planets found in the last few hundred years point to the same awful conclusion; life is a cruel cosmic joke and no one in this universe is in on it. It's been a few thousand years since the second Earth was found and we're no closer to finding out why we're here. There are many theories. Many of them positing that we would implode our own thought constructed universe should we ever find out. And many theories positing that we have as much chance as a hyper reality role playing game villain figuring why he's been programmed to be evil, let alone what it all means. The last two thousand years have just been about filling in unknowns in Earths history, and discovering new technologies to help humans combat boredom. An ever waxing benchmark. For centuries it's just new ways to fuck. New non addictive opiates synthesized by Aldous Huxley Soma enthusiasts. And hyper reality games to top off where the drugs fall short. We know now that sentient life depends on the dopamine rewards system. That levelling up is the only game in town. There is still real meaning. There is love. There is music. There is art. But nothing quite new in a long time. There is enough of it that no human could absorb it all in their lifetime. Even those wealthy enough to live for centuries. But absorption of knowledge into what we now know is a collective subconscious, means that true novelty has been extinct almost as long as scent in humans has - a mysterious occurrence that happens in humans living in space for longer than a few centuries. There is of course always the possibility that we will find another orb drive. One perhaps from an earlier time that we may have a better chance of understanding. And the even slimmer chance that we'll find a trace of the non human entities that created it. But in the thousands of years that humans have been traversing space, not a single shred of tangible evidence has been found. Not until today, as Molly and Hito are about to find out.
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Earth One: 20,000 years ago-
"Raze the cities. Evacuate a decimation of human. Evacuate Sasquatch and Halfling"
The scribe transcribed furiously. "How many halfling and squatch, your Infiniteness?"
The king of all creation turned his head, the headdress teetering and threatening to fall. Years of practice and his divinity kept it in place.
"All of them, Zoat."
The small humanoid, a neighboring species of hominid to Homo sapiens sapiens, gulped nervously and added a few pecks to his notes. "Uh, and only a single decimation, of humanity, sire?"
"Naw, your right. We're leaving the planet; better make it twenty percent."
The sprawling mega city of Ur was laid out before their temple, the top of a stepped pyramid. The temple had been built to honor the sun, its massive stones levitated into place by Sasquatch chant-magic using a Halfling design.
But that was a 1,000 years ago. By now Squatch chant-magic, Halfling engineering and human organization had advanced Transphysical Harmonics to the point where life was emigrating off earth.
The Mars Experiment had ultimately failed but the lessons learned allowed subsequent attempts at extra-earth colonies to become viable. And, eventually, profitable. Still. All that aside. "Why?" Asked Zoat.
"Humanity will never accept the Large Ones or Small Ones. The genocides will continue."
Zoat dropped his quill and scroll in shock.
"GenocideS, sire?" He emphasized the plurality of the word.
"Oh, dear Zoat. Once we're on Alpha Centauri 4 you will finally have a chance to talk to scribes Amber through Yao; there have been other human lead campaigns against your people's and theirs."
The supreme master of all creation, a human, nodded down where the dozen or so hair covered giants chanted around a recently worked piece of granite.
The harmonies found the vibrational frequency of the stone and it lift into the air. Together they walked and sang, moving the massive worked block of stone into place.
In the distance a thunderous roar of raised voices marked the site where the frequency of the nearest habitable planet had been discovered. Only their voices were aimed at a huge crystal; a hybrid of artificially combined minerals.
Minerals otherwise only found on Earth 2.
Even now huge numbers of earthlings were walking into that crystal and exiting upon a new planet.
"Yes. You and The Large will be quite safe there. For now."
But King of All didn't need to elaborate; Zoat was not stupid. It would be pretty easy to imagine this exact same thing happening in another thousand years, and then another thousand years on a third planet after that. And on and on and on…
|
Edit: Thank you all so much for this!! The idea came to me in the shower about a week ago, as a thought about "what really weird things we could find as we set to explore the galaxy?". I liked it because there are so many possible angles, and because it hasn't been done before AFAIK (???). I am having a blast reading all your stories.
|
[WP] It's the year 2851. Humanity develops interstellar travel and begins to explore the Milky Way galaxy in search for life. However, much to everyone's surprise, instead of alien life we find... Earth's biosphere complete with humans, repeated over and over at different stages of progress.
|
It began in the 21st century.
An entire galaxy made up of Earths. A ridiculous idea came to life on the Galaxy Quest 2828, a mothership filled with smaller ships sent from the far-future Earth to explore a galaxy that had been discovered to be filled with Earth like clones.
And everything they found was as predicted. Some planets were right behind Galaxy Quest, researching the boundaries of time and space. Some planets were just learning to expand out into our solar system, bravely leaving Earth to find humanity a new home. Some had just put man on the moon. Some put men in prisons and denounced their names for having such ideas as being able to leave God's earth. And then there was the beginning: the first humans. A brand new species, born out of sheer genetic luck, who would one day take to the continent, the planet and then the stars.
That's where Diana Hoff comes in. She formed a connection with a young girl she nicknamed "Marcie". Marcie and her parents lived in Africa, hunting the plains for food and fending off other homo sapiens. Diana became close to Marcie - but not too close. The rules were for the explorers to visit the planets (one such expedition had been lost after crash landing in New Mexico in 1947) but not touch or interfere with human progress.
Soon, it came time to close the case on the mission: they had learned all there was to know about human life, from humanities birth. Before she left, Diana gazed upon the sunset of the savannah across a young Earth, who didn't know what was to come in her future. Diana couldn't hug Marcie goodbye when it came time to go (the crew was unsure as to what would harm the homo-sapiens and knew how susceptible to disease they were) but she gave her a flint. Marcie's parents had recently learned to make fire for warmth, and learned that the light of fire attracted prey. There was so much Diana wanted to tell Marcie: how soon she would probably be alone, to be strong and brave and careful. To nuture her life and the lives of her family.
But she couldn't. That was for Marcie, her family and the human race to figure out alone. So she got back on the Galaxy Quest, waved goodbye and went back into the vastness of space. A word came from the mothership: another planet had been discovered. It was at the end of this solar system. After six months of travel, they found the spot where the signal had been sent from.
But there was no planet. Earth was gone. It dawned on them that this was what they were being shown: the end. The data was horrific: sometime between 2828 and 3016, Earth will be sucked into a black hole. After much deliberation on whether they could bring that particular piece of news back, everybody on board decided against it. Who wants to be the person responsible for telling people their home planet will be evaporated any moment?
And so they didn't. They went home to Earth and kept the secret. Diana moved to Africa to search for Marcie's home. She found it, in 2830. As she once again settled into watch the sun set, Diana saw a handprint. Marcie? Comforted by the thought of Marnie being with her in another galaxy, on another planet lit by a different sun, Diana took a deep breath.
|
Earth One: 20,000 years ago-
"Raze the cities. Evacuate a decimation of human. Evacuate Sasquatch and Halfling"
The scribe transcribed furiously. "How many halfling and squatch, your Infiniteness?"
The king of all creation turned his head, the headdress teetering and threatening to fall. Years of practice and his divinity kept it in place.
"All of them, Zoat."
The small humanoid, a neighboring species of hominid to Homo sapiens sapiens, gulped nervously and added a few pecks to his notes. "Uh, and only a single decimation, of humanity, sire?"
"Naw, your right. We're leaving the planet; better make it twenty percent."
The sprawling mega city of Ur was laid out before their temple, the top of a stepped pyramid. The temple had been built to honor the sun, its massive stones levitated into place by Sasquatch chant-magic using a Halfling design.
But that was a 1,000 years ago. By now Squatch chant-magic, Halfling engineering and human organization had advanced Transphysical Harmonics to the point where life was emigrating off earth.
The Mars Experiment had ultimately failed but the lessons learned allowed subsequent attempts at extra-earth colonies to become viable. And, eventually, profitable. Still. All that aside. "Why?" Asked Zoat.
"Humanity will never accept the Large Ones or Small Ones. The genocides will continue."
Zoat dropped his quill and scroll in shock.
"GenocideS, sire?" He emphasized the plurality of the word.
"Oh, dear Zoat. Once we're on Alpha Centauri 4 you will finally have a chance to talk to scribes Amber through Yao; there have been other human lead campaigns against your people's and theirs."
The supreme master of all creation, a human, nodded down where the dozen or so hair covered giants chanted around a recently worked piece of granite.
The harmonies found the vibrational frequency of the stone and it lift into the air. Together they walked and sang, moving the massive worked block of stone into place.
In the distance a thunderous roar of raised voices marked the site where the frequency of the nearest habitable planet had been discovered. Only their voices were aimed at a huge crystal; a hybrid of artificially combined minerals.
Minerals otherwise only found on Earth 2.
Even now huge numbers of earthlings were walking into that crystal and exiting upon a new planet.
"Yes. You and The Large will be quite safe there. For now."
But King of All didn't need to elaborate; Zoat was not stupid. It would be pretty easy to imagine this exact same thing happening in another thousand years, and then another thousand years on a third planet after that. And on and on and on…
|
Edit: Thank you all so much for this!! The idea came to me in the shower about a week ago, as a thought about "what really weird things we could find as we set to explore the galaxy?". I liked it because there are so many possible angles, and because it hasn't been done before AFAIK (???). I am having a blast reading all your stories.
|
[WP] It's the year 2851. Humanity develops interstellar travel and begins to explore the Milky Way galaxy in search for life. However, much to everyone's surprise, instead of alien life we find... Earth's biosphere complete with humans, repeated over and over at different stages of progress.
|
The SS Endeavor dropped out of FTL just outside the orbit of the 7th planet of a star called HBX-035a. An orange glow came from its small sun, and the massive gas giant had dragged them off course by a few hours.
The Captain sat in his chair, poised and exhilarated as always, despite knowing what he will find.
The 4th planet in this system was in the goldilocks zone, and was 0.93 times the size of Earth.
As the starship closed the distance between worlds, long range scans picked up several unique build sites for the inhabitants of this world.
*Humans.*
“Sir, take a look at these”, said a young ensign, sliding a window across the terminal.
The Captain sighed and looked anyways, calling up a reprimand from his memories as an eager ensign to pass along.
“What!”, the captain said aloud, startled.
This civilization wasn’t ancient, wasn’t medieval. It wasn’t hunter-gatherer.
The Captain was looking at a golden spaceport at the center of a massive metropolis.
“Who built th-” as the klaxons erupted.
The starships AI had already Jumped the ship.
“AI, who ordered that Jump!?” The Captain shouted over the alarms.
`I prevented the destruction of the vessel from an inbound energy weapon of indeterminate magnitude`
“Plops to that,” said the Captain in a swear, “Were going back.”
***
The SS Endeavor dropped out of warp just outside the orbit of the 7th planet.
This time the vessel waited.
A trio of massive ships, all golden, tore from the atmosphere using a drive system completely unrecognizable by the ships scanners.
The vessels sent but one message over shortwave.
“FTL is forbidden to keep us hidden, and as such, you must be destroyed before we are discovered.”
*“We know what awaits us once we are found.”*
|
Earth One: 20,000 years ago-
"Raze the cities. Evacuate a decimation of human. Evacuate Sasquatch and Halfling"
The scribe transcribed furiously. "How many halfling and squatch, your Infiniteness?"
The king of all creation turned his head, the headdress teetering and threatening to fall. Years of practice and his divinity kept it in place.
"All of them, Zoat."
The small humanoid, a neighboring species of hominid to Homo sapiens sapiens, gulped nervously and added a few pecks to his notes. "Uh, and only a single decimation, of humanity, sire?"
"Naw, your right. We're leaving the planet; better make it twenty percent."
The sprawling mega city of Ur was laid out before their temple, the top of a stepped pyramid. The temple had been built to honor the sun, its massive stones levitated into place by Sasquatch chant-magic using a Halfling design.
But that was a 1,000 years ago. By now Squatch chant-magic, Halfling engineering and human organization had advanced Transphysical Harmonics to the point where life was emigrating off earth.
The Mars Experiment had ultimately failed but the lessons learned allowed subsequent attempts at extra-earth colonies to become viable. And, eventually, profitable. Still. All that aside. "Why?" Asked Zoat.
"Humanity will never accept the Large Ones or Small Ones. The genocides will continue."
Zoat dropped his quill and scroll in shock.
"GenocideS, sire?" He emphasized the plurality of the word.
"Oh, dear Zoat. Once we're on Alpha Centauri 4 you will finally have a chance to talk to scribes Amber through Yao; there have been other human lead campaigns against your people's and theirs."
The supreme master of all creation, a human, nodded down where the dozen or so hair covered giants chanted around a recently worked piece of granite.
The harmonies found the vibrational frequency of the stone and it lift into the air. Together they walked and sang, moving the massive worked block of stone into place.
In the distance a thunderous roar of raised voices marked the site where the frequency of the nearest habitable planet had been discovered. Only their voices were aimed at a huge crystal; a hybrid of artificially combined minerals.
Minerals otherwise only found on Earth 2.
Even now huge numbers of earthlings were walking into that crystal and exiting upon a new planet.
"Yes. You and The Large will be quite safe there. For now."
But King of All didn't need to elaborate; Zoat was not stupid. It would be pretty easy to imagine this exact same thing happening in another thousand years, and then another thousand years on a third planet after that. And on and on and on…
|
Edit: Thank you all so much for this!! The idea came to me in the shower about a week ago, as a thought about "what really weird things we could find as we set to explore the galaxy?". I liked it because there are so many possible angles, and because it hasn't been done before AFAIK (???). I am having a blast reading all your stories.
|
[WP] It's the year 2851. Humanity develops interstellar travel and begins to explore the Milky Way galaxy in search for life. However, much to everyone's surprise, instead of alien life we find... Earth's biosphere complete with humans, repeated over and over at different stages of progress.
|
In the early 2600's it was proven that the universe was just a simulation. As a devoted theoretical physicist I made it my life goal to build upon this model of the universe.
When faster than light travel first became a reality the scientific community was beyond excited. Finally we had begun to realize the next step onto the kardashev scale for humanity. Our civilization had a real shot at immortality, not for individuals, but for the civilization it self. The physicist were the most excited. The things one could do out in space to further physics. We would actually be able to travel to a massive blackhole and attempt to study it.
Much to the chagrin of the scientific community that didn't work out.
Instead we discovered something much more bizarre, but it was predicted - by at least - me and a few others. That is why we are here today. I would like to thank the entire scientific community for this recognition of the One Man's Sky theory, for its remarkable capacity to predict what lies beyond our star system. More of the same, but still just a little different.
When I first started to understand the implications of a virtual universe I saw something... Well let's say dismal. What I saw was our universe was rushed out of production. I can not claim to know why, that's for the virtual gods to know. Think about this, in our solar system only 10% of all traversable surfaces - solid ground and liquid water - have actual "content". You know, the interesting stuff. Life, environment, culture, sentience, the ability to perceive suffering and enjoyment.
What we have come to see now is that exact same model was algorithmically copied and pasted across the known universe.
Thank you to the team that worked long hours understanding the process and math behind One Man's Sky. This Nobel Prize is for the team, and not just me.
|
Earth One: 20,000 years ago-
"Raze the cities. Evacuate a decimation of human. Evacuate Sasquatch and Halfling"
The scribe transcribed furiously. "How many halfling and squatch, your Infiniteness?"
The king of all creation turned his head, the headdress teetering and threatening to fall. Years of practice and his divinity kept it in place.
"All of them, Zoat."
The small humanoid, a neighboring species of hominid to Homo sapiens sapiens, gulped nervously and added a few pecks to his notes. "Uh, and only a single decimation, of humanity, sire?"
"Naw, your right. We're leaving the planet; better make it twenty percent."
The sprawling mega city of Ur was laid out before their temple, the top of a stepped pyramid. The temple had been built to honor the sun, its massive stones levitated into place by Sasquatch chant-magic using a Halfling design.
But that was a 1,000 years ago. By now Squatch chant-magic, Halfling engineering and human organization had advanced Transphysical Harmonics to the point where life was emigrating off earth.
The Mars Experiment had ultimately failed but the lessons learned allowed subsequent attempts at extra-earth colonies to become viable. And, eventually, profitable. Still. All that aside. "Why?" Asked Zoat.
"Humanity will never accept the Large Ones or Small Ones. The genocides will continue."
Zoat dropped his quill and scroll in shock.
"GenocideS, sire?" He emphasized the plurality of the word.
"Oh, dear Zoat. Once we're on Alpha Centauri 4 you will finally have a chance to talk to scribes Amber through Yao; there have been other human lead campaigns against your people's and theirs."
The supreme master of all creation, a human, nodded down where the dozen or so hair covered giants chanted around a recently worked piece of granite.
The harmonies found the vibrational frequency of the stone and it lift into the air. Together they walked and sang, moving the massive worked block of stone into place.
In the distance a thunderous roar of raised voices marked the site where the frequency of the nearest habitable planet had been discovered. Only their voices were aimed at a huge crystal; a hybrid of artificially combined minerals.
Minerals otherwise only found on Earth 2.
Even now huge numbers of earthlings were walking into that crystal and exiting upon a new planet.
"Yes. You and The Large will be quite safe there. For now."
But King of All didn't need to elaborate; Zoat was not stupid. It would be pretty easy to imagine this exact same thing happening in another thousand years, and then another thousand years on a third planet after that. And on and on and on…
|
Edit: Thank you all so much for this!! The idea came to me in the shower about a week ago, as a thought about "what really weird things we could find as we set to explore the galaxy?". I liked it because there are so many possible angles, and because it hasn't been done before AFAIK (???). I am having a blast reading all your stories.
|
[WP] It's the year 2851. Humanity develops interstellar travel and begins to explore the Milky Way galaxy in search for life. However, much to everyone's surprise, instead of alien life we find... Earth's biosphere complete with humans, repeated over and over at different stages of progress.
|
“Surprise!”
Confetti littered the sky, the sounds of party horns filling the ears of all present.
Jerry stepped out the ship, confused at the sight before him.
A white, full moon shone onto an old village. The village was filled with wooden shacks, each decorated with flames that cut through the navy blue sky. Party streamers connected each shack to each another.
In the middle of the village, and right outside the ship Jerry had travelled in, stood life! Actual life! And intelligent life if their ability to speak was any indication.
But there was something off about this life, and it was not that they were wearing very modern clothing, at least compared to the rest of their village. Their clothes looked like they came right out of the 21st century, not the medieval ages.
It could have been the fact that they spoke the same language, but there was a much more pressing matter in Jerry’s mind.
“They’re... human,” he said to himself, his brain refusing to believe the fact he just stated. The life before him may look human at first glance. They may even look human at second glance. They could even look human at third, fourth, fifth and every other glance you could possibly take at them. But they were not human. They couldn’t be. They had to be different on the inside in some way.
One such looks-human-but-could-not-possibly-be-human stepped up to Jerry.
“Welcome and congratulations my friend! You sure took your sweet time getting here, but here you are!” he said, putting his arm around Jerry.
Another much older definitely-not-human walked up to Jerry, slapping him on the back.
“It’s about time you got here! I was afraid that my heart would give out before you did! But now I can die in peace!” he said before walking away.
“Hey, that’s right, you are still alive!” The first not-human said, “Hey Summer! You owe me 10 credits!”
Jerry blinked.
“You’re human,” he repeated.
The alien(?) turned back to Jerry.
“Oh, that’s right! You have no idea what’s going on, do you? What’s your name?”
“Jerry” he managed to splutter out.
“Well, young Jerry, I recommend you sit down because I’ve got quite the story for you!”
Jerry listened as the turning-out-to-be-not-quite-as-alien-as-he-thought explained how, instead of different planets with different conditions that produce different kinds of life, the only type of planet that could possibly sustain life is a planet like Earth. Exactly like Earth, in fact. And as a result, throughout the entirety of the universe, the only species that exist are those that already exist on Jerry’s home planet. But they didn’t all start at the same time, so scattered throughout the universe are many different Earths at different stages of their evolution.
“Hello? Earth to Jerry? Yeah, didn’t think you’d be hearing that expression any time soon, did you? But seriously, man, snap out of it! Is Jerry.exe not working?”
Jerry blinked himself out of his apparent stupor.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Good, you’re getting through it. Any questions before we go on?”
Jerry looked around, trying to get his brain to function again.
“If you’re so much more technologically advanced than us, then why are you using confetti, party horns and fires? And what’s up with the shacks?” he asked slowly.
“Ah, well you see, we are in the nostalgic stage of our development! Nothing like a bit of old school technology to get back in touch with our roots!”
Jerry concentrated, his brain still processing the information.
“What’s your name?”
“Good, you’re getting better!” the human stuck out his hand in an inviting gesture, “the name’s Rick!”
Jerry stared at the hand. He had heard of this; a greeting that was used just a century ago. Shared between friend and foe alike, it was powerful gesture lost to the fate of time. He was always curious about it, curious about its implications, how it affected the world around it or even just the people sharing it, and how it-
“Dude, you shake it.”
Dumbstruck, Jerry stuck out his hand in turn and held Rick’s hand, letting him take control.
“Now look, there are some rules your planet is going to need to follow. Basically, you can’t go to any Earth less advanced than you. Also, you can’t go to Earth Земля as they’re just ahead of you in terms of technology. If you go to them, you’ll be able to understand their technology and give yourselves a boon. And we can’t have that happen, are we clear?”
Jerry nodded.
“Good. But before we do that, I’m going to have to make some calls...” Rick started, turning away from Jerry.
“Wait, Earth Земля?”
Rick, turned back.
“Well, yeah, there’s thousands of Earths out there. Do you expect us to call all of the ‘Earth’? No, we assign a name to them to make things easier. For example, we are Earth Terre. And actually, that reminds me, we’ve got to name you! Seeing how you came to our planet and all.”
“Wait, don’t we get a say in-“
“But right now I’ve got to make some calls, because I know that when you get back, *some* idiot organisation is going to get the bright idea of going to Earth Земля and advancing your technology faster than it should be. And we can't have that!”
Rick turned around, and started walking away.
“Hey Beth! Do we contact Earth . .- .-. - .... or Earth Ddaear?”
“It’s Earth Ee-R-Th...” Jerry faintly heard in the distance.
Jerry stayed sitting down, having found that he had forgotten how to stand. After a time that Jerry wasn’t keeping track of passed, he felt another person’s and rest on his shoulder. He looked up to see a boy looking down at him, smiling.
“Don’t worry, you’ll get over it! We all do!”
|
Earth One: 20,000 years ago-
"Raze the cities. Evacuate a decimation of human. Evacuate Sasquatch and Halfling"
The scribe transcribed furiously. "How many halfling and squatch, your Infiniteness?"
The king of all creation turned his head, the headdress teetering and threatening to fall. Years of practice and his divinity kept it in place.
"All of them, Zoat."
The small humanoid, a neighboring species of hominid to Homo sapiens sapiens, gulped nervously and added a few pecks to his notes. "Uh, and only a single decimation, of humanity, sire?"
"Naw, your right. We're leaving the planet; better make it twenty percent."
The sprawling mega city of Ur was laid out before their temple, the top of a stepped pyramid. The temple had been built to honor the sun, its massive stones levitated into place by Sasquatch chant-magic using a Halfling design.
But that was a 1,000 years ago. By now Squatch chant-magic, Halfling engineering and human organization had advanced Transphysical Harmonics to the point where life was emigrating off earth.
The Mars Experiment had ultimately failed but the lessons learned allowed subsequent attempts at extra-earth colonies to become viable. And, eventually, profitable. Still. All that aside. "Why?" Asked Zoat.
"Humanity will never accept the Large Ones or Small Ones. The genocides will continue."
Zoat dropped his quill and scroll in shock.
"GenocideS, sire?" He emphasized the plurality of the word.
"Oh, dear Zoat. Once we're on Alpha Centauri 4 you will finally have a chance to talk to scribes Amber through Yao; there have been other human lead campaigns against your people's and theirs."
The supreme master of all creation, a human, nodded down where the dozen or so hair covered giants chanted around a recently worked piece of granite.
The harmonies found the vibrational frequency of the stone and it lift into the air. Together they walked and sang, moving the massive worked block of stone into place.
In the distance a thunderous roar of raised voices marked the site where the frequency of the nearest habitable planet had been discovered. Only their voices were aimed at a huge crystal; a hybrid of artificially combined minerals.
Minerals otherwise only found on Earth 2.
Even now huge numbers of earthlings were walking into that crystal and exiting upon a new planet.
"Yes. You and The Large will be quite safe there. For now."
But King of All didn't need to elaborate; Zoat was not stupid. It would be pretty easy to imagine this exact same thing happening in another thousand years, and then another thousand years on a third planet after that. And on and on and on…
|
Edit: Thank you all so much for this!! The idea came to me in the shower about a week ago, as a thought about "what really weird things we could find as we set to explore the galaxy?". I liked it because there are so many possible angles, and because it hasn't been done before AFAIK (???). I am having a blast reading all your stories.
|
[WP] It's the year 2851. Humanity develops interstellar travel and begins to explore the Milky Way galaxy in search for life. However, much to everyone's surprise, instead of alien life we find... Earth's biosphere complete with humans, repeated over and over at different stages of progress.
|
"Tell me it isn't another earth-like planet."
Fredric looked at the Captain sitting in his hover chair, sighed and rubbed his temple. "Well, I am sorry to disappoint you, then. It is Earth."
The Captain was silent. He stood up from the chair and turned away from Fredric. In front of him was a giant screen, showing a beautiful blue planet decorated with wisps of clouds against a background of pitch-black darkness.
"When?" He finally asked. The Captain was still facing the viewing screen, his face half-illuminated by the light reflected from the wonderful world below.
Fredric hesitated to reply, for his answer was a preposterous one. *But our voyage is a ridiculous journey*, he thought gloomily. *We have hoped to find extraterrestrial lifeforms, but instead we have encountered numerous versions of earths.* There was an earth when human just climbed down from trees, another one when Julius Caesar has returned from a new victorious conquest, one more when Galileo was gazing at the starry night sky, contemplating the secrets of the universe , and the last one, was when Hitler was rallying his faithful fanatics before the notorious war.
Fredric was startled when the Captain coughed. He then immediately realised his purpose here - to report instead of wool-gathering . Embarrassed, he avoided the eye contact and stared at his tip of shoes. "Um, " he said, "I - I don't know."
"What?" The Captain lunged forward as if to attack Fredric.
"We don't know," Fredric breathed, "we don't. No clue whatsoever." He shifted his centre of gravity to another leg, inhaled deeply before saying, "it is, clearly, not from our past."
-
"Apparently, a mistake was made when the theorists put all the equations together," said Henry Lynch, a pleasant young man who always wore oversized clothes and glasses, "this is not a Wormhole Drive."
"I agree," an austere-looking woman replied, "instead of tearing apart the fabric of time and space, the Drive opened up a portal to a higher dimension."
"Yes, yes, it must be the case," Henry nodded while biting his pen absentmindedly, "But the question is how? So far as I checked, Jane, the theory seemed flawless ..." he scratched his head.
The woman called Jane picked up a mug and sipped some coffee. She had lustrous black hair with a pair of strikingly green eyes that could stop Fredric's heart from beating just by a single glance. She was about 24, slightly thinner than Henry, but much taller. Many people have mistakenly considered her as his elder sister, but Fredric knew Henry was three-year older than her. Nonetheless, both of them were ingenious scientists that Fredric was honoured to work with.
"I believe the mistake is made in the assumptions ... here." She pointed out a line on Henry's paper, "it may not be entirely correct."
"So we are not travelling by a Wormhole," Fredric spoke before the conversation slid to something he had completely no idea of, "but a - how did you call it?"
"Five, or even six dimension." Replied Henry. He wiped his digital drawing pad clean and hastily sketched a line and a circle, then continued: "If you want to bend something, you need to do it in a higher dimension. For example if you want to get to another point ..." he drew a paper with two dots on it, "you can travel via a straight line. Or, more convenient ... " He drew another paper, folded, with two points on different side, and pretended to poke it with his stylus.
"Fold it, crack a hole, and go through!"
"The paper represents the two dimension scenario, wheres the place where we bend it must be a three-dimensional world." Jane added.
"Therefore if you want to travel through space instantaneously, just bend it in a higher dimension. Since we are travelling in a universe of multiple earths of different stages, it is reasonable enough that we are travelling through time - you know, like jump from one scene to the next in a movie. Or we maybe travelling through *different timelines*, like parallel universes. Wonderful, isn't it?"
Fredric held up his hands. "Look, I am just a historian. I don't understand. But can you please explain to me why this earth is not from any - ah, familiar era?"
"It's simple - we have either gone to the future, or have gone to an earth of different evolutionary pattern in a different universe."
"Personally, I am more inclined to the future," said Jane, "because in a different universe, the plank's constant may be different, so everything might just change - our spaceship will certainly not able to withstand the conditions here. But we are not."
Fredric found it very hard to absorb whatever Jane said. It could be the fault of that pair of mesmerising green eyes - his could feel his heart physically constrict whenever she looked at him. Still, trying to maintain his disguise of aloofness, Fredric nodded solemnly and expressed his agreement.
-
"So that's it? Future earth?" The Captain queried sceptically. Fredric swallowed hard and replied a "yes".
"Are we allowed to see it, then? At least we could tell what will happen to our people in the future."
"I... I don't think so, Captain. Jane said future is fluid. It may not be there anymore as soon as you see it, kind of like the 'Uncertainty principle'." The last phrase was quoted from Henry, of course.
Seeing no indications of any kind of emotional response from the Captain, Fredric decided to tell him the most devastating news. *He will know anyway* he thought, resigned.
"We are not going home, either. Because once we travelled away from it, it may change due to our departure. We probably will get a similar but never-the-same earth of our era. We ..."
The Captain held up one finger to silence Fredric. For a long, silent moment he was just staring at the luminous ball below, his heavy eyebrow knitted together. Finally, he asked.
"We could find a future," he said, quietly, "that we all are satisfied with - and try to settle there."
THE END?
The explanation part is partly from the *insterstella*. My major is not physics, so if you see any scientific/conceptual error please point out!
|
Earth One: 20,000 years ago-
"Raze the cities. Evacuate a decimation of human. Evacuate Sasquatch and Halfling"
The scribe transcribed furiously. "How many halfling and squatch, your Infiniteness?"
The king of all creation turned his head, the headdress teetering and threatening to fall. Years of practice and his divinity kept it in place.
"All of them, Zoat."
The small humanoid, a neighboring species of hominid to Homo sapiens sapiens, gulped nervously and added a few pecks to his notes. "Uh, and only a single decimation, of humanity, sire?"
"Naw, your right. We're leaving the planet; better make it twenty percent."
The sprawling mega city of Ur was laid out before their temple, the top of a stepped pyramid. The temple had been built to honor the sun, its massive stones levitated into place by Sasquatch chant-magic using a Halfling design.
But that was a 1,000 years ago. By now Squatch chant-magic, Halfling engineering and human organization had advanced Transphysical Harmonics to the point where life was emigrating off earth.
The Mars Experiment had ultimately failed but the lessons learned allowed subsequent attempts at extra-earth colonies to become viable. And, eventually, profitable. Still. All that aside. "Why?" Asked Zoat.
"Humanity will never accept the Large Ones or Small Ones. The genocides will continue."
Zoat dropped his quill and scroll in shock.
"GenocideS, sire?" He emphasized the plurality of the word.
"Oh, dear Zoat. Once we're on Alpha Centauri 4 you will finally have a chance to talk to scribes Amber through Yao; there have been other human lead campaigns against your people's and theirs."
The supreme master of all creation, a human, nodded down where the dozen or so hair covered giants chanted around a recently worked piece of granite.
The harmonies found the vibrational frequency of the stone and it lift into the air. Together they walked and sang, moving the massive worked block of stone into place.
In the distance a thunderous roar of raised voices marked the site where the frequency of the nearest habitable planet had been discovered. Only their voices were aimed at a huge crystal; a hybrid of artificially combined minerals.
Minerals otherwise only found on Earth 2.
Even now huge numbers of earthlings were walking into that crystal and exiting upon a new planet.
"Yes. You and The Large will be quite safe there. For now."
But King of All didn't need to elaborate; Zoat was not stupid. It would be pretty easy to imagine this exact same thing happening in another thousand years, and then another thousand years on a third planet after that. And on and on and on…
|
Edit: Thank you all so much for this!! The idea came to me in the shower about a week ago, as a thought about "what really weird things we could find as we set to explore the galaxy?". I liked it because there are so many possible angles, and because it hasn't been done before AFAIK (???). I am having a blast reading all your stories.
|
[WP] It's the year 2851. Humanity develops interstellar travel and begins to explore the Milky Way galaxy in search for life. However, much to everyone's surprise, instead of alien life we find... Earth's biosphere complete with humans, repeated over and over at different stages of progress.
|
It was the ultimate question. The question that had haunted humanity since the invention of intelligence. Where did we come from?
There were a number of theories held by various individuals of varying levels of credibility. Many have posited that life was the work of someone named god, but all attempts to convince said someone to come forward and take credit for their work have so far proved unsuccessful.
Quite a bit of debate has been held on the topic, as many doubt whether this "god" person even exists or not, or what type of guy he is, or if he's even a guy at all. Some argue that god is a woman, or a tentacle monster with forty seven eyes. A few people think it's quite clear that god is real but don't think he's responsible for the creation of life, rather that he is a sort of cosmic step dad who simply stumbled upon life and decided to nurture it.
One man in the early twenty first century was absolutely convinced that god was an entity made out of negative space. He believed that the default state of the universe was nothingness and that existence was simply an accidental byproduct of inexistence, a small mistake that had ballooned into a slightly bigger mistake but was ultimately doomed to correct itself. According to him death is not only inevitable but it is, in fact, our very purpose in life. This resonated with quite a few people and his beliefs became the dominant religion worldwide for the next two centuries though many modern historians theorize that most people were only doing it ironically.
Perhaps the most ridiculous theory of all stated that life emerged on earth roughly four billion years ago when the primordial conditions of the planet eventually reached a state that facilitated the generation of simple organic molecules through abiotic processes which eventually joined together to form primitive cellular life forms that evolved and diversified into increasingly complex and varied forms over the next four billion years. Of course, a rational person would say that that's not ridiculous at all but since when has the universe ever been rational? Has any rational person stopped to consider that perhaps it's irrational to be rational in an irrational world?
You see, those rational individuals have no idea what to do when the universe fails to adhere to their fascist standards of rationality. For example, in 2851 the brightest, most insufferably rational minds of humanity managed to invent faster than light travel and humanity ventured forth to explore unknown stars and discover brand new worlds. Yet what they discovered was that those brand new worlds were actually quite familiar.
They plugged in a few bits of data to some sophisticated computer program and it churned out a list of golden worlds, planets with just the right cosmic conditions for life to exist. What they found as they visited them, one by one, was that each and every planet contained life almost identical to that on earth but at various different stages in evolutionary history.
When the astronauts that stepped foot on the first golden world, designated HR-6709C, reported that there were dinosaurs roaming the planet those rationalists were sure that it was simply an April fools joke. When they realized it was, in fact, July 19th not April 1st, they became quite confused.
Six golden worlds later people were reeling from the discovery of consistently identical biospheres on each successive world when they found a planet with early hominids living in caves. The already abuzz scientific community was set even abuzzer by this discovery on the planet HR-4825A, but that was just the beginning.
The world waited with bated breath, wondering what exactly we would discover if we kept looking. Hovering above HR-1706D was a Terminus class exploratory vessel with a crew ready to investigate that very question.
________________________________________________________________
Commander Peter Townsend stood tall, gazing out the viewscreen at the virgin world before him, head held high, hands behind his back, boots straight laced, nose regal and mustache quivering. In a moment of indulgence he set aside professionalism and allowed himself to feel a bit of awe. He even went so far as to allow himself a smidge of excitement (*just* a smidge).
Without turning he voiced aloud that thought which had gotten lodged in his mind like a two day old piece of popcorn gets stuck between your teeth: the ultimate question. "Where does life come from, I wonder?"
His first mate Lieutenant Kira Briggs, who stood beside him, glanced to her left, then her right, then behind her to make sure he wasn't talking to someone else before shrugging her shoulders and responding, "Dunno." A statement which is really quite a bit more intelligent than it sounds.
Commander Townsend jumped, almost as if he were startled by her response, probably because he had completely forgotten she was there. Embarrassed that she had witnessed his lapse in professionalism he coughed loudly and looked at her stiffly, saying, "Ah... yes, right," before turning to look back out the viewscreen. After a momentary pause and a scratch of his nose he turned back towards her and asked "No theories at all?"
"Not really."
With uncharacteristic enthusiasm he persisted, "Come on, everyone has some kind of theory."
She pursed her lips for a moment and then, with a hint of smile (*just* a hint) said "I once met a homeless man that tried to convince me God was a writer with a magic keyboard and life was the result of a drunken night of writing and a few too many typos."
"Huh."
"Yeah"
A pair of heavy boots clanked across the metal floor of the bridge. "Sir the shuttle is prepped and gear is loaded. We're ready for planetary touchdown as soon as you and the lieutenant are aboard."
"Very well. The bridge is yours until we return Officer Grant."
Aboard the shuttle the Commander and Lieutenant assumed their seats just behind the pilot. With the go ahead from the Commander the hangar doors slid open and the shuttle zipped off into the nothingness of space.
As they approached the atmosphere of the planet below the pilots voice emerged over the hum of the engines, "Ready to take your first step on an alien world Briggs?"
"Definitely. Wish I'd gotten a more exciting planet for my first though."
A bearded head sprouted from the gap between the Lieutenant and Commander's seats, "What? A lifeless rock doesn't get your juices flowing?"
"It's a golden world Hans," said the pilot "what's not exciting about that? Who knows what we'll find."
"Eh more like a burnt mustard than golden really. All our scans indicate that it has the potential for life but right now it's just a big rocky bowl filled with boiling soup, not that interesting."
Briggs scratched her nose, "Sorry Jack, gotta agree with Hans on this one. Woulda been nice to actually see alien life on my first trip to an alien planet."
"The life we've found so far hasn't been particularly *alien*, Lieutenant" interjected Commander Townsend.
"Exactly! That's *more* amazing than finding crazy weird alien lifeforms. Can you imagine being part of the first team that discovered *dinosaurs* on an early planet? Or *hominids*? I mean, how is that even possible? It makes no sense."
Townsend's mustache quivered. "Why, it makes perfect sense Lieutenant Briggs. The explanation is very simple."
Hans' hairy face once again emerged from the row behind them, "Oh really, *do* tell us, fearless leader, how you have single handedly solved the mystery that has plagued humanity's greatest scientists since we discovered interstellar travel?"
The Commander shot him a withering glare that would have shriveled the balls of a T-Rex from HR-6709C. Hans retreated swiftly to the safety of his own row just as his testicles retreated into the safety of his body.
"Isn't it obvious? It's simply convergent evolution. Similar environmental conditions select for similar lifeforms."
"But sir... the odds of the *exact* same set of lifeforms evolving on half a dozen different planets..." Briggs shook her head, "it's almost impossible."
"She's right. Convergent evolution isn't nearly that exact sir." Hans said with a cough and considerably more deference than usual.
"Alright then, Technician Pressly, what is your theory?"
The Commander realized that he may have made a grave mistake as Hans rubbed his hands together as if he'd been waiting the entire flight for that invitation, "Well, the way I figure it, the bloke that made the FTL drive, didn't actually make an FTL drive. He accidentally created time travel, and our exploratory vessels haven't moved at all, they've just been visiting earth at different time periods."
The Commander glared at him stony faced. Briggs raised an eyebrow. "Uh huh. Then why are there two moons here?"
"Shit."
The pilot laughed, "Maybe you should just keep quiet Hans. Anyway buckle up everyone, we're about to land."
"What about you Lieutenant? Any theories?"
"Well... probably gonna sound a bit out there, but I've thought... what if someone, or something, is performing an experiment?"
"An experiment?"
"Yeah, like scientists back on earth have cultured dozens of cloned bacteria colonies for decades under specific conditions to see if one of them can evolve a certain adaptation, and how."
"So what adaptation do you think these experimenters are looking for? And why?"
"Superpowers?" Said Han's voice.
"Dunno, could be anything. Not all our adaptations are biological, it could be a certain stage of civilization, of advancement... maybe a technological adaptation."
"A technology? Like what?"
_____________________________________________________________
"Officer Grant... we're picking up an interstellar transmission from the planet below."
"What? From our team?"
"No it's coming from the other side of the planet, it's... in binary."
"What does it say?"
**FTL DRIVE EMISSIONS DETECTED. VARIABLE ATTAINED. SEND FLEET.**
|
Earth One: 20,000 years ago-
"Raze the cities. Evacuate a decimation of human. Evacuate Sasquatch and Halfling"
The scribe transcribed furiously. "How many halfling and squatch, your Infiniteness?"
The king of all creation turned his head, the headdress teetering and threatening to fall. Years of practice and his divinity kept it in place.
"All of them, Zoat."
The small humanoid, a neighboring species of hominid to Homo sapiens sapiens, gulped nervously and added a few pecks to his notes. "Uh, and only a single decimation, of humanity, sire?"
"Naw, your right. We're leaving the planet; better make it twenty percent."
The sprawling mega city of Ur was laid out before their temple, the top of a stepped pyramid. The temple had been built to honor the sun, its massive stones levitated into place by Sasquatch chant-magic using a Halfling design.
But that was a 1,000 years ago. By now Squatch chant-magic, Halfling engineering and human organization had advanced Transphysical Harmonics to the point where life was emigrating off earth.
The Mars Experiment had ultimately failed but the lessons learned allowed subsequent attempts at extra-earth colonies to become viable. And, eventually, profitable. Still. All that aside. "Why?" Asked Zoat.
"Humanity will never accept the Large Ones or Small Ones. The genocides will continue."
Zoat dropped his quill and scroll in shock.
"GenocideS, sire?" He emphasized the plurality of the word.
"Oh, dear Zoat. Once we're on Alpha Centauri 4 you will finally have a chance to talk to scribes Amber through Yao; there have been other human lead campaigns against your people's and theirs."
The supreme master of all creation, a human, nodded down where the dozen or so hair covered giants chanted around a recently worked piece of granite.
The harmonies found the vibrational frequency of the stone and it lift into the air. Together they walked and sang, moving the massive worked block of stone into place.
In the distance a thunderous roar of raised voices marked the site where the frequency of the nearest habitable planet had been discovered. Only their voices were aimed at a huge crystal; a hybrid of artificially combined minerals.
Minerals otherwise only found on Earth 2.
Even now huge numbers of earthlings were walking into that crystal and exiting upon a new planet.
"Yes. You and The Large will be quite safe there. For now."
But King of All didn't need to elaborate; Zoat was not stupid. It would be pretty easy to imagine this exact same thing happening in another thousand years, and then another thousand years on a third planet after that. And on and on and on…
|
Edit: Thank you all so much for this!! The idea came to me in the shower about a week ago, as a thought about "what really weird things we could find as we set to explore the galaxy?". I liked it because there are so many possible angles, and because it hasn't been done before AFAIK (???). I am having a blast reading all your stories.
|
[WP] It's the year 2851. Humanity develops interstellar travel and begins to explore the Milky Way galaxy in search for life. However, much to everyone's surprise, instead of alien life we find... Earth's biosphere complete with humans, repeated over and over at different stages of progress.
|
The SS Endeavor dropped out of FTL just outside the orbit of the 7th planet of a star called HBX-035a. An orange glow came from its small sun, and the massive gas giant had dragged them off course by a few hours.
The Captain sat in his chair, poised and exhilarated as always, despite knowing what he will find.
The 4th planet in this system was in the goldilocks zone, and was 0.93 times the size of Earth.
As the starship closed the distance between worlds, long range scans picked up several unique build sites for the inhabitants of this world.
*Humans.*
“Sir, take a look at these”, said a young ensign, sliding a window across the terminal.
The Captain sighed and looked anyways, calling up a reprimand from his memories as an eager ensign to pass along.
“What!”, the captain said aloud, startled.
This civilization wasn’t ancient, wasn’t medieval. It wasn’t hunter-gatherer.
The Captain was looking at a golden spaceport at the center of a massive metropolis.
“Who built th-” as the klaxons erupted.
The starships AI had already Jumped the ship.
“AI, who ordered that Jump!?” The Captain shouted over the alarms.
`I prevented the destruction of the vessel from an inbound energy weapon of indeterminate magnitude`
“Plops to that,” said the Captain in a swear, “Were going back.”
***
The SS Endeavor dropped out of warp just outside the orbit of the 7th planet.
This time the vessel waited.
A trio of massive ships, all golden, tore from the atmosphere using a drive system completely unrecognizable by the ships scanners.
The vessels sent but one message over shortwave.
“FTL is forbidden to keep us hidden, and as such, you must be destroyed before we are discovered.”
*“We know what awaits us once we are found.”*
|
It began in the 21st century.
An entire galaxy made up of Earths. A ridiculous idea came to life on the Galaxy Quest 2828, a mothership filled with smaller ships sent from the far-future Earth to explore a galaxy that had been discovered to be filled with Earth like clones.
And everything they found was as predicted. Some planets were right behind Galaxy Quest, researching the boundaries of time and space. Some planets were just learning to expand out into our solar system, bravely leaving Earth to find humanity a new home. Some had just put man on the moon. Some put men in prisons and denounced their names for having such ideas as being able to leave God's earth. And then there was the beginning: the first humans. A brand new species, born out of sheer genetic luck, who would one day take to the continent, the planet and then the stars.
That's where Diana Hoff comes in. She formed a connection with a young girl she nicknamed "Marcie". Marcie and her parents lived in Africa, hunting the plains for food and fending off other homo sapiens. Diana became close to Marcie - but not too close. The rules were for the explorers to visit the planets (one such expedition had been lost after crash landing in New Mexico in 1947) but not touch or interfere with human progress.
Soon, it came time to close the case on the mission: they had learned all there was to know about human life, from humanities birth. Before she left, Diana gazed upon the sunset of the savannah across a young Earth, who didn't know what was to come in her future. Diana couldn't hug Marcie goodbye when it came time to go (the crew was unsure as to what would harm the homo-sapiens and knew how susceptible to disease they were) but she gave her a flint. Marcie's parents had recently learned to make fire for warmth, and learned that the light of fire attracted prey. There was so much Diana wanted to tell Marcie: how soon she would probably be alone, to be strong and brave and careful. To nuture her life and the lives of her family.
But she couldn't. That was for Marcie, her family and the human race to figure out alone. So she got back on the Galaxy Quest, waved goodbye and went back into the vastness of space. A word came from the mothership: another planet had been discovered. It was at the end of this solar system. After six months of travel, they found the spot where the signal had been sent from.
But there was no planet. Earth was gone. It dawned on them that this was what they were being shown: the end. The data was horrific: sometime between 2828 and 3016, Earth will be sucked into a black hole. After much deliberation on whether they could bring that particular piece of news back, everybody on board decided against it. Who wants to be the person responsible for telling people their home planet will be evaporated any moment?
And so they didn't. They went home to Earth and kept the secret. Diana moved to Africa to search for Marcie's home. She found it, in 2830. As she once again settled into watch the sun set, Diana saw a handprint. Marcie? Comforted by the thought of Marnie being with her in another galaxy, on another planet lit by a different sun, Diana took a deep breath.
|
Edit: Thank you all so much for this!! The idea came to me in the shower about a week ago, as a thought about "what really weird things we could find as we set to explore the galaxy?". I liked it because there are so many possible angles, and because it hasn't been done before AFAIK (???). I am having a blast reading all your stories.
|
[WP] It's the year 2851. Humanity develops interstellar travel and begins to explore the Milky Way galaxy in search for life. However, much to everyone's surprise, instead of alien life we find... Earth's biosphere complete with humans, repeated over and over at different stages of progress.
|
In the early 2600's it was proven that the universe was just a simulation. As a devoted theoretical physicist I made it my life goal to build upon this model of the universe.
When faster than light travel first became a reality the scientific community was beyond excited. Finally we had begun to realize the next step onto the kardashev scale for humanity. Our civilization had a real shot at immortality, not for individuals, but for the civilization it self. The physicist were the most excited. The things one could do out in space to further physics. We would actually be able to travel to a massive blackhole and attempt to study it.
Much to the chagrin of the scientific community that didn't work out.
Instead we discovered something much more bizarre, but it was predicted - by at least - me and a few others. That is why we are here today. I would like to thank the entire scientific community for this recognition of the One Man's Sky theory, for its remarkable capacity to predict what lies beyond our star system. More of the same, but still just a little different.
When I first started to understand the implications of a virtual universe I saw something... Well let's say dismal. What I saw was our universe was rushed out of production. I can not claim to know why, that's for the virtual gods to know. Think about this, in our solar system only 10% of all traversable surfaces - solid ground and liquid water - have actual "content". You know, the interesting stuff. Life, environment, culture, sentience, the ability to perceive suffering and enjoyment.
What we have come to see now is that exact same model was algorithmically copied and pasted across the known universe.
Thank you to the team that worked long hours understanding the process and math behind One Man's Sky. This Nobel Prize is for the team, and not just me.
|
It began in the 21st century.
An entire galaxy made up of Earths. A ridiculous idea came to life on the Galaxy Quest 2828, a mothership filled with smaller ships sent from the far-future Earth to explore a galaxy that had been discovered to be filled with Earth like clones.
And everything they found was as predicted. Some planets were right behind Galaxy Quest, researching the boundaries of time and space. Some planets were just learning to expand out into our solar system, bravely leaving Earth to find humanity a new home. Some had just put man on the moon. Some put men in prisons and denounced their names for having such ideas as being able to leave God's earth. And then there was the beginning: the first humans. A brand new species, born out of sheer genetic luck, who would one day take to the continent, the planet and then the stars.
That's where Diana Hoff comes in. She formed a connection with a young girl she nicknamed "Marcie". Marcie and her parents lived in Africa, hunting the plains for food and fending off other homo sapiens. Diana became close to Marcie - but not too close. The rules were for the explorers to visit the planets (one such expedition had been lost after crash landing in New Mexico in 1947) but not touch or interfere with human progress.
Soon, it came time to close the case on the mission: they had learned all there was to know about human life, from humanities birth. Before she left, Diana gazed upon the sunset of the savannah across a young Earth, who didn't know what was to come in her future. Diana couldn't hug Marcie goodbye when it came time to go (the crew was unsure as to what would harm the homo-sapiens and knew how susceptible to disease they were) but she gave her a flint. Marcie's parents had recently learned to make fire for warmth, and learned that the light of fire attracted prey. There was so much Diana wanted to tell Marcie: how soon she would probably be alone, to be strong and brave and careful. To nuture her life and the lives of her family.
But she couldn't. That was for Marcie, her family and the human race to figure out alone. So she got back on the Galaxy Quest, waved goodbye and went back into the vastness of space. A word came from the mothership: another planet had been discovered. It was at the end of this solar system. After six months of travel, they found the spot where the signal had been sent from.
But there was no planet. Earth was gone. It dawned on them that this was what they were being shown: the end. The data was horrific: sometime between 2828 and 3016, Earth will be sucked into a black hole. After much deliberation on whether they could bring that particular piece of news back, everybody on board decided against it. Who wants to be the person responsible for telling people their home planet will be evaporated any moment?
And so they didn't. They went home to Earth and kept the secret. Diana moved to Africa to search for Marcie's home. She found it, in 2830. As she once again settled into watch the sun set, Diana saw a handprint. Marcie? Comforted by the thought of Marnie being with her in another galaxy, on another planet lit by a different sun, Diana took a deep breath.
|
Edit: Thank you all so much for this!! The idea came to me in the shower about a week ago, as a thought about "what really weird things we could find as we set to explore the galaxy?". I liked it because there are so many possible angles, and because it hasn't been done before AFAIK (???). I am having a blast reading all your stories.
|
[WP] It's the year 2851. Humanity develops interstellar travel and begins to explore the Milky Way galaxy in search for life. However, much to everyone's surprise, instead of alien life we find... Earth's biosphere complete with humans, repeated over and over at different stages of progress.
|
"Tell me it isn't another earth-like planet."
Fredric looked at the Captain sitting in his hover chair, sighed and rubbed his temple. "Well, I am sorry to disappoint you, then. It is Earth."
The Captain was silent. He stood up from the chair and turned away from Fredric. In front of him was a giant screen, showing a beautiful blue planet decorated with wisps of clouds against a background of pitch-black darkness.
"When?" He finally asked. The Captain was still facing the viewing screen, his face half-illuminated by the light reflected from the wonderful world below.
Fredric hesitated to reply, for his answer was a preposterous one. *But our voyage is a ridiculous journey*, he thought gloomily. *We have hoped to find extraterrestrial lifeforms, but instead we have encountered numerous versions of earths.* There was an earth when human just climbed down from trees, another one when Julius Caesar has returned from a new victorious conquest, one more when Galileo was gazing at the starry night sky, contemplating the secrets of the universe , and the last one, was when Hitler was rallying his faithful fanatics before the notorious war.
Fredric was startled when the Captain coughed. He then immediately realised his purpose here - to report instead of wool-gathering . Embarrassed, he avoided the eye contact and stared at his tip of shoes. "Um, " he said, "I - I don't know."
"What?" The Captain lunged forward as if to attack Fredric.
"We don't know," Fredric breathed, "we don't. No clue whatsoever." He shifted his centre of gravity to another leg, inhaled deeply before saying, "it is, clearly, not from our past."
-
"Apparently, a mistake was made when the theorists put all the equations together," said Henry Lynch, a pleasant young man who always wore oversized clothes and glasses, "this is not a Wormhole Drive."
"I agree," an austere-looking woman replied, "instead of tearing apart the fabric of time and space, the Drive opened up a portal to a higher dimension."
"Yes, yes, it must be the case," Henry nodded while biting his pen absentmindedly, "But the question is how? So far as I checked, Jane, the theory seemed flawless ..." he scratched his head.
The woman called Jane picked up a mug and sipped some coffee. She had lustrous black hair with a pair of strikingly green eyes that could stop Fredric's heart from beating just by a single glance. She was about 24, slightly thinner than Henry, but much taller. Many people have mistakenly considered her as his elder sister, but Fredric knew Henry was three-year older than her. Nonetheless, both of them were ingenious scientists that Fredric was honoured to work with.
"I believe the mistake is made in the assumptions ... here." She pointed out a line on Henry's paper, "it may not be entirely correct."
"So we are not travelling by a Wormhole," Fredric spoke before the conversation slid to something he had completely no idea of, "but a - how did you call it?"
"Five, or even six dimension." Replied Henry. He wiped his digital drawing pad clean and hastily sketched a line and a circle, then continued: "If you want to bend something, you need to do it in a higher dimension. For example if you want to get to another point ..." he drew a paper with two dots on it, "you can travel via a straight line. Or, more convenient ... " He drew another paper, folded, with two points on different side, and pretended to poke it with his stylus.
"Fold it, crack a hole, and go through!"
"The paper represents the two dimension scenario, wheres the place where we bend it must be a three-dimensional world." Jane added.
"Therefore if you want to travel through space instantaneously, just bend it in a higher dimension. Since we are travelling in a universe of multiple earths of different stages, it is reasonable enough that we are travelling through time - you know, like jump from one scene to the next in a movie. Or we maybe travelling through *different timelines*, like parallel universes. Wonderful, isn't it?"
Fredric held up his hands. "Look, I am just a historian. I don't understand. But can you please explain to me why this earth is not from any - ah, familiar era?"
"It's simple - we have either gone to the future, or have gone to an earth of different evolutionary pattern in a different universe."
"Personally, I am more inclined to the future," said Jane, "because in a different universe, the plank's constant may be different, so everything might just change - our spaceship will certainly not able to withstand the conditions here. But we are not."
Fredric found it very hard to absorb whatever Jane said. It could be the fault of that pair of mesmerising green eyes - his could feel his heart physically constrict whenever she looked at him. Still, trying to maintain his disguise of aloofness, Fredric nodded solemnly and expressed his agreement.
-
"So that's it? Future earth?" The Captain queried sceptically. Fredric swallowed hard and replied a "yes".
"Are we allowed to see it, then? At least we could tell what will happen to our people in the future."
"I... I don't think so, Captain. Jane said future is fluid. It may not be there anymore as soon as you see it, kind of like the 'Uncertainty principle'." The last phrase was quoted from Henry, of course.
Seeing no indications of any kind of emotional response from the Captain, Fredric decided to tell him the most devastating news. *He will know anyway* he thought, resigned.
"We are not going home, either. Because once we travelled away from it, it may change due to our departure. We probably will get a similar but never-the-same earth of our era. We ..."
The Captain held up one finger to silence Fredric. For a long, silent moment he was just staring at the luminous ball below, his heavy eyebrow knitted together. Finally, he asked.
"We could find a future," he said, quietly, "that we all are satisfied with - and try to settle there."
THE END?
The explanation part is partly from the *insterstella*. My major is not physics, so if you see any scientific/conceptual error please point out!
|
Dirk Gamblecraft and Newt Airman were indisputably the best pilots humanity had ever conceived, this is why they were in charge of tackling the most promissing mission in our history: Discovery II. Using interstellar travel, they had to check for life outside Earth and report back immediately if they found something.
"Once you get used to the beauty of stars and planets, the void gets boring." Said Dirk and his face slowly turned red as if he was trying to hold something really badly.
Newt bursted in laughter and so did Dirk. "Get used, hahahah!". Replied Dirk, splattering salive all over the spaceship's control panel.
They kept laughing for an hour, one could argue a sane man wouldn't have laughed at such a bad joke for so long. "Newt, get ready to jump, the radar found a planet strangely similiar to Earth nearby Alpha Centauri." He said, his eyes bright and watery of excitement.
Dirk furrowed his brows, "how similar?"
"Hold on tight!" Screamed Newt as time and space coupled throwing them heavily against their sits. An instant later the spaceship was now in front of this planet. Dirk and Newt stood silent, their extremities trembling.
"This must be a mistake, Newt. We are back on Earth! How could you make a mistake?" Exclaimed Dirk, crossly.
Newt was pale as a ghost, his jaw shivered up and down trying to say something but nothing came out of his mouth, all he managed to do was point at it. Dirk examined the planet meticulously, it was impossible.
"No, no, no, this is impossible, we must have broken an unknown law of physic and travelled back in time." Said Dirk, furiously shaking his head, now he trembled too.
"Fuck Dirk, stop saying bullshit, we didn't break anything. This planet is Earth in the paleolitic era, look how close the continents are, hell, look at the whole enviroment colours." Snapped Newt.
The radar started tilting like crazy, there was another similar planet in Barnard's Star. This time, Newt didn't say anything and just set course and went there.
Once again, their jaw dropped. This planet was more advanced that the last one yet not as much as Earth. "Take the telescope, I can't distinguish what era is this." Commanded Dirk, his voice stumbled.
Newt went to the back of the aircraft and came back with a tiny device that looked like a flat metal square. Newt pressed a button on its side and an enormous holographic display appeared in front of their cabin. "Let's see, first I have to input the coordinates and then press the magnifying thing. Whala!" Exclaimed Dirk as a clear picture of this planet surfaces appeared.
They both looked at each other, perplexed as though they have seen a ghost. "Should we do it?" Asked Newt and Dirk nodded. Instantly, their spaceship descended into the planet's surface.
Barnard's Star shone brightly and mercilessly, luckily for the pilots their suit was custom made to not feel temperatures below a high threshold. A vast terrain of sand, a desert was what they found. Thousands of people stared at them in awe, some of them wore gold garments on their bodies but the majority wore white stained rugs.
"Egypt, they're struggling to build piramids." Whispered Newt.
"Let's show them how they can do it, it's the only way to find out." Said Dirk walking towards the people scaring them away.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*"Washington Base to Dirk and Newt, it's been 10 years since you arrived to that planet, I repeat, It's been 10 years and you are not reporting anything back. What's happening?"* An annoying voice came from a device on their suits.
"Robert, if you were here, if only you were here." Replied Dirk.
*"What's happening Dirk? Answer, did the rescue mission get to your planet?"*
"Yes they are here with us, looking at themselves."
*"What do you mean?"*
"We are all looking at us in the walls of the piramid." Dirk said, his voice cracking and his eyes streaming.
*"Explain yourself, I repeat explain yourself."*
"Don't you get it? Do I really have to explain it? There's a superior race of Humans somewhere in the universe."
*"Find them."*
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you enjoyed please consider checking: /r/chasisoxidado
|
Edit: Thank you all so much for this!! The idea came to me in the shower about a week ago, as a thought about "what really weird things we could find as we set to explore the galaxy?". I liked it because there are so many possible angles, and because it hasn't been done before AFAIK (???). I am having a blast reading all your stories.
|
[WP] It's the year 2851. Humanity develops interstellar travel and begins to explore the Milky Way galaxy in search for life. However, much to everyone's surprise, instead of alien life we find... Earth's biosphere complete with humans, repeated over and over at different stages of progress.
|
Against a curtain of stars, a patch of reality *bent* like a thumbprint on glass. With a flash of light, the first human starship capable of faster than light travel returned to normal space. For months the ship had made its way between familiar stars, jumping toward promising worlds and extending it's telescopes in search of new targets when nothing but disappointment was found. But now as the pale light of another alien sun glimmered off the hull, a pale blue dot came into view in the distance. Sensors indicated all the hallmarks of carbon-based life. The crew embraced, eager to sent a message earthward reporting their success.
Orbiting above now, 2000 souls looked down on a planet undeniably crawling with life. The atmosphere had an almost greenish hue when viewed from certain angles. Thick plant life covered every continent beyond the icy poles and belt of deserts. Drone footage revealed fires the size of cities slowly sweeping across the surface. The single paleontologist onboard saw the comparison and demanded to join the landing party.
A day later, a shuttle with a team of twelve touched down in a rocky clearing at the edge of a vast forest. The levels of oxygen and spore count were nearly unbreathable, but the artificial lungs in the contruct bodies they wore adjusted to the mix quickly. With cameras in their eyes, the crew began to photograph anything they hadn't seen twice. Soon they had a catalog of giant dragonflies and centipeeds as long as cars. Not alien analogs the paleontologist realized, but known specimens with a documented place in Earth's fossil record. When the evidence began to stack up, she projected cached slides from the Internet into the party's vision to explain the comparison. Earth had once been exactly like this place.
Part 1 of 3
|
Dirk Gamblecraft and Newt Airman were indisputably the best pilots humanity had ever conceived, this is why they were in charge of tackling the most promissing mission in our history: Discovery II. Using interstellar travel, they had to check for life outside Earth and report back immediately if they found something.
"Once you get used to the beauty of stars and planets, the void gets boring." Said Dirk and his face slowly turned red as if he was trying to hold something really badly.
Newt bursted in laughter and so did Dirk. "Get used, hahahah!". Replied Dirk, splattering salive all over the spaceship's control panel.
They kept laughing for an hour, one could argue a sane man wouldn't have laughed at such a bad joke for so long. "Newt, get ready to jump, the radar found a planet strangely similiar to Earth nearby Alpha Centauri." He said, his eyes bright and watery of excitement.
Dirk furrowed his brows, "how similar?"
"Hold on tight!" Screamed Newt as time and space coupled throwing them heavily against their sits. An instant later the spaceship was now in front of this planet. Dirk and Newt stood silent, their extremities trembling.
"This must be a mistake, Newt. We are back on Earth! How could you make a mistake?" Exclaimed Dirk, crossly.
Newt was pale as a ghost, his jaw shivered up and down trying to say something but nothing came out of his mouth, all he managed to do was point at it. Dirk examined the planet meticulously, it was impossible.
"No, no, no, this is impossible, we must have broken an unknown law of physic and travelled back in time." Said Dirk, furiously shaking his head, now he trembled too.
"Fuck Dirk, stop saying bullshit, we didn't break anything. This planet is Earth in the paleolitic era, look how close the continents are, hell, look at the whole enviroment colours." Snapped Newt.
The radar started tilting like crazy, there was another similar planet in Barnard's Star. This time, Newt didn't say anything and just set course and went there.
Once again, their jaw dropped. This planet was more advanced that the last one yet not as much as Earth. "Take the telescope, I can't distinguish what era is this." Commanded Dirk, his voice stumbled.
Newt went to the back of the aircraft and came back with a tiny device that looked like a flat metal square. Newt pressed a button on its side and an enormous holographic display appeared in front of their cabin. "Let's see, first I have to input the coordinates and then press the magnifying thing. Whala!" Exclaimed Dirk as a clear picture of this planet surfaces appeared.
They both looked at each other, perplexed as though they have seen a ghost. "Should we do it?" Asked Newt and Dirk nodded. Instantly, their spaceship descended into the planet's surface.
Barnard's Star shone brightly and mercilessly, luckily for the pilots their suit was custom made to not feel temperatures below a high threshold. A vast terrain of sand, a desert was what they found. Thousands of people stared at them in awe, some of them wore gold garments on their bodies but the majority wore white stained rugs.
"Egypt, they're struggling to build piramids." Whispered Newt.
"Let's show them how they can do it, it's the only way to find out." Said Dirk walking towards the people scaring them away.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*"Washington Base to Dirk and Newt, it's been 10 years since you arrived to that planet, I repeat, It's been 10 years and you are not reporting anything back. What's happening?"* An annoying voice came from a device on their suits.
"Robert, if you were here, if only you were here." Replied Dirk.
*"What's happening Dirk? Answer, did the rescue mission get to your planet?"*
"Yes they are here with us, looking at themselves."
*"What do you mean?"*
"We are all looking at us in the walls of the piramid." Dirk said, his voice cracking and his eyes streaming.
*"Explain yourself, I repeat explain yourself."*
"Don't you get it? Do I really have to explain it? There's a superior race of Humans somewhere in the universe."
*"Find them."*
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you enjoyed please consider checking: /r/chasisoxidado
|
Edit: Thank you all so much for this!! The idea came to me in the shower about a week ago, as a thought about "what really weird things we could find as we set to explore the galaxy?". I liked it because there are so many possible angles, and because it hasn't been done before AFAIK (???). I am having a blast reading all your stories.
|
[WP] It's the year 2851. Humanity develops interstellar travel and begins to explore the Milky Way galaxy in search for life. However, much to everyone's surprise, instead of alien life we find... Earth's biosphere complete with humans, repeated over and over at different stages of progress.
|
It was the ultimate question. The question that had haunted humanity since the invention of intelligence. Where did we come from?
There were a number of theories held by various individuals of varying levels of credibility. Many have posited that life was the work of someone named god, but all attempts to convince said someone to come forward and take credit for their work have so far proved unsuccessful.
Quite a bit of debate has been held on the topic, as many doubt whether this "god" person even exists or not, or what type of guy he is, or if he's even a guy at all. Some argue that god is a woman, or a tentacle monster with forty seven eyes. A few people think it's quite clear that god is real but don't think he's responsible for the creation of life, rather that he is a sort of cosmic step dad who simply stumbled upon life and decided to nurture it.
One man in the early twenty first century was absolutely convinced that god was an entity made out of negative space. He believed that the default state of the universe was nothingness and that existence was simply an accidental byproduct of inexistence, a small mistake that had ballooned into a slightly bigger mistake but was ultimately doomed to correct itself. According to him death is not only inevitable but it is, in fact, our very purpose in life. This resonated with quite a few people and his beliefs became the dominant religion worldwide for the next two centuries though many modern historians theorize that most people were only doing it ironically.
Perhaps the most ridiculous theory of all stated that life emerged on earth roughly four billion years ago when the primordial conditions of the planet eventually reached a state that facilitated the generation of simple organic molecules through abiotic processes which eventually joined together to form primitive cellular life forms that evolved and diversified into increasingly complex and varied forms over the next four billion years. Of course, a rational person would say that that's not ridiculous at all but since when has the universe ever been rational? Has any rational person stopped to consider that perhaps it's irrational to be rational in an irrational world?
You see, those rational individuals have no idea what to do when the universe fails to adhere to their fascist standards of rationality. For example, in 2851 the brightest, most insufferably rational minds of humanity managed to invent faster than light travel and humanity ventured forth to explore unknown stars and discover brand new worlds. Yet what they discovered was that those brand new worlds were actually quite familiar.
They plugged in a few bits of data to some sophisticated computer program and it churned out a list of golden worlds, planets with just the right cosmic conditions for life to exist. What they found as they visited them, one by one, was that each and every planet contained life almost identical to that on earth but at various different stages in evolutionary history.
When the astronauts that stepped foot on the first golden world, designated HR-6709C, reported that there were dinosaurs roaming the planet those rationalists were sure that it was simply an April fools joke. When they realized it was, in fact, July 19th not April 1st, they became quite confused.
Six golden worlds later people were reeling from the discovery of consistently identical biospheres on each successive world when they found a planet with early hominids living in caves. The already abuzz scientific community was set even abuzzer by this discovery on the planet HR-4825A, but that was just the beginning.
The world waited with bated breath, wondering what exactly we would discover if we kept looking. Hovering above HR-1706D was a Terminus class exploratory vessel with a crew ready to investigate that very question.
________________________________________________________________
Commander Peter Townsend stood tall, gazing out the viewscreen at the virgin world before him, head held high, hands behind his back, boots straight laced, nose regal and mustache quivering. In a moment of indulgence he set aside professionalism and allowed himself to feel a bit of awe. He even went so far as to allow himself a smidge of excitement (*just* a smidge).
Without turning he voiced aloud that thought which had gotten lodged in his mind like a two day old piece of popcorn gets stuck between your teeth: the ultimate question. "Where does life come from, I wonder?"
His first mate Lieutenant Kira Briggs, who stood beside him, glanced to her left, then her right, then behind her to make sure he wasn't talking to someone else before shrugging her shoulders and responding, "Dunno." A statement which is really quite a bit more intelligent than it sounds.
Commander Townsend jumped, almost as if he were startled by her response, probably because he had completely forgotten she was there. Embarrassed that she had witnessed his lapse in professionalism he coughed loudly and looked at her stiffly, saying, "Ah... yes, right," before turning to look back out the viewscreen. After a momentary pause and a scratch of his nose he turned back towards her and asked "No theories at all?"
"Not really."
With uncharacteristic enthusiasm he persisted, "Come on, everyone has some kind of theory."
She pursed her lips for a moment and then, with a hint of smile (*just* a hint) said "I once met a homeless man that tried to convince me God was a writer with a magic keyboard and life was the result of a drunken night of writing and a few too many typos."
"Huh."
"Yeah"
A pair of heavy boots clanked across the metal floor of the bridge. "Sir the shuttle is prepped and gear is loaded. We're ready for planetary touchdown as soon as you and the lieutenant are aboard."
"Very well. The bridge is yours until we return Officer Grant."
Aboard the shuttle the Commander and Lieutenant assumed their seats just behind the pilot. With the go ahead from the Commander the hangar doors slid open and the shuttle zipped off into the nothingness of space.
As they approached the atmosphere of the planet below the pilots voice emerged over the hum of the engines, "Ready to take your first step on an alien world Briggs?"
"Definitely. Wish I'd gotten a more exciting planet for my first though."
A bearded head sprouted from the gap between the Lieutenant and Commander's seats, "What? A lifeless rock doesn't get your juices flowing?"
"It's a golden world Hans," said the pilot "what's not exciting about that? Who knows what we'll find."
"Eh more like a burnt mustard than golden really. All our scans indicate that it has the potential for life but right now it's just a big rocky bowl filled with boiling soup, not that interesting."
Briggs scratched her nose, "Sorry Jack, gotta agree with Hans on this one. Woulda been nice to actually see alien life on my first trip to an alien planet."
"The life we've found so far hasn't been particularly *alien*, Lieutenant" interjected Commander Townsend.
"Exactly! That's *more* amazing than finding crazy weird alien lifeforms. Can you imagine being part of the first team that discovered *dinosaurs* on an early planet? Or *hominids*? I mean, how is that even possible? It makes no sense."
Townsend's mustache quivered. "Why, it makes perfect sense Lieutenant Briggs. The explanation is very simple."
Hans' hairy face once again emerged from the row behind them, "Oh really, *do* tell us, fearless leader, how you have single handedly solved the mystery that has plagued humanity's greatest scientists since we discovered interstellar travel?"
The Commander shot him a withering glare that would have shriveled the balls of a T-Rex from HR-6709C. Hans retreated swiftly to the safety of his own row just as his testicles retreated into the safety of his body.
"Isn't it obvious? It's simply convergent evolution. Similar environmental conditions select for similar lifeforms."
"But sir... the odds of the *exact* same set of lifeforms evolving on half a dozen different planets..." Briggs shook her head, "it's almost impossible."
"She's right. Convergent evolution isn't nearly that exact sir." Hans said with a cough and considerably more deference than usual.
"Alright then, Technician Pressly, what is your theory?"
The Commander realized that he may have made a grave mistake as Hans rubbed his hands together as if he'd been waiting the entire flight for that invitation, "Well, the way I figure it, the bloke that made the FTL drive, didn't actually make an FTL drive. He accidentally created time travel, and our exploratory vessels haven't moved at all, they've just been visiting earth at different time periods."
The Commander glared at him stony faced. Briggs raised an eyebrow. "Uh huh. Then why are there two moons here?"
"Shit."
The pilot laughed, "Maybe you should just keep quiet Hans. Anyway buckle up everyone, we're about to land."
"What about you Lieutenant? Any theories?"
"Well... probably gonna sound a bit out there, but I've thought... what if someone, or something, is performing an experiment?"
"An experiment?"
"Yeah, like scientists back on earth have cultured dozens of cloned bacteria colonies for decades under specific conditions to see if one of them can evolve a certain adaptation, and how."
"So what adaptation do you think these experimenters are looking for? And why?"
"Superpowers?" Said Han's voice.
"Dunno, could be anything. Not all our adaptations are biological, it could be a certain stage of civilization, of advancement... maybe a technological adaptation."
"A technology? Like what?"
_____________________________________________________________
"Officer Grant... we're picking up an interstellar transmission from the planet below."
"What? From our team?"
"No it's coming from the other side of the planet, it's... in binary."
"What does it say?"
**FTL DRIVE EMISSIONS DETECTED. VARIABLE ATTAINED. SEND FLEET.**
|
Dirk Gamblecraft and Newt Airman were indisputably the best pilots humanity had ever conceived, this is why they were in charge of tackling the most promissing mission in our history: Discovery II. Using interstellar travel, they had to check for life outside Earth and report back immediately if they found something.
"Once you get used to the beauty of stars and planets, the void gets boring." Said Dirk and his face slowly turned red as if he was trying to hold something really badly.
Newt bursted in laughter and so did Dirk. "Get used, hahahah!". Replied Dirk, splattering salive all over the spaceship's control panel.
They kept laughing for an hour, one could argue a sane man wouldn't have laughed at such a bad joke for so long. "Newt, get ready to jump, the radar found a planet strangely similiar to Earth nearby Alpha Centauri." He said, his eyes bright and watery of excitement.
Dirk furrowed his brows, "how similar?"
"Hold on tight!" Screamed Newt as time and space coupled throwing them heavily against their sits. An instant later the spaceship was now in front of this planet. Dirk and Newt stood silent, their extremities trembling.
"This must be a mistake, Newt. We are back on Earth! How could you make a mistake?" Exclaimed Dirk, crossly.
Newt was pale as a ghost, his jaw shivered up and down trying to say something but nothing came out of his mouth, all he managed to do was point at it. Dirk examined the planet meticulously, it was impossible.
"No, no, no, this is impossible, we must have broken an unknown law of physic and travelled back in time." Said Dirk, furiously shaking his head, now he trembled too.
"Fuck Dirk, stop saying bullshit, we didn't break anything. This planet is Earth in the paleolitic era, look how close the continents are, hell, look at the whole enviroment colours." Snapped Newt.
The radar started tilting like crazy, there was another similar planet in Barnard's Star. This time, Newt didn't say anything and just set course and went there.
Once again, their jaw dropped. This planet was more advanced that the last one yet not as much as Earth. "Take the telescope, I can't distinguish what era is this." Commanded Dirk, his voice stumbled.
Newt went to the back of the aircraft and came back with a tiny device that looked like a flat metal square. Newt pressed a button on its side and an enormous holographic display appeared in front of their cabin. "Let's see, first I have to input the coordinates and then press the magnifying thing. Whala!" Exclaimed Dirk as a clear picture of this planet surfaces appeared.
They both looked at each other, perplexed as though they have seen a ghost. "Should we do it?" Asked Newt and Dirk nodded. Instantly, their spaceship descended into the planet's surface.
Barnard's Star shone brightly and mercilessly, luckily for the pilots their suit was custom made to not feel temperatures below a high threshold. A vast terrain of sand, a desert was what they found. Thousands of people stared at them in awe, some of them wore gold garments on their bodies but the majority wore white stained rugs.
"Egypt, they're struggling to build piramids." Whispered Newt.
"Let's show them how they can do it, it's the only way to find out." Said Dirk walking towards the people scaring them away.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*"Washington Base to Dirk and Newt, it's been 10 years since you arrived to that planet, I repeat, It's been 10 years and you are not reporting anything back. What's happening?"* An annoying voice came from a device on their suits.
"Robert, if you were here, if only you were here." Replied Dirk.
*"What's happening Dirk? Answer, did the rescue mission get to your planet?"*
"Yes they are here with us, looking at themselves."
*"What do you mean?"*
"We are all looking at us in the walls of the piramid." Dirk said, his voice cracking and his eyes streaming.
*"Explain yourself, I repeat explain yourself."*
"Don't you get it? Do I really have to explain it? There's a superior race of Humans somewhere in the universe."
*"Find them."*
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you enjoyed please consider checking: /r/chasisoxidado
|
Edit: Thank you all so much for this!! The idea came to me in the shower about a week ago, as a thought about "what really weird things we could find as we set to explore the galaxy?". I liked it because there are so many possible angles, and because it hasn't been done before AFAIK (???). I am having a blast reading all your stories.
|
[WP] It's the year 2851. Humanity develops interstellar travel and begins to explore the Milky Way galaxy in search for life. However, much to everyone's surprise, instead of alien life we find... Earth's biosphere complete with humans, repeated over and over at different stages of progress.
|
"Sir, we have lost all communications with the ship" said the mission operator to the Commander.
"have you tried all the frequencies" he asked.
"Yes sir, I did. There is no hope" his voice turned to mere whisper.
It was the year 2851, when humanity finally developed warp speed interstellar travel. Entire world united to make this possible. Set to uncover the mysteries of universe.
The ship was travelling at 99% the speed of light. Time slowed down, in their frame of reference. About 20 hours passesd according to them since they left solar system. The onboard computer crashed, no communication possible with mission control.
Suddenly there was many beeps coming from different instruments. The onboard computer resumed. It starts to identify constellations. Strangely, it was very similar to the neighborhood of our solar system. The flight crew couldn't make out what was happening.
Its 2855 in Earth. All the news about the mission had settled. A failed mission for the history books. Nations split their development works. There is no united research now.
Only one remained. The Commander. He was still looking for the signal in his private o observatory.
One evening, his signal detecters started to pick up a signal. Yes, it was from the ship. He did multiple verifications. All of them conformed.
Only one anomaly, the signal source was coming towards earth.
The signal started to strengthen. He tried to locate it. It's in the solar system. The signal started to decrease in few minutes. Nothing afterwards.
"They went past earth. I don't understand" he exclaimed.
In the ship, the crew members couldn't explain whag they just experienced. An exact replica of Earth, solar system and nearby constellations!
Before they could learn more from the compuer, it crashed again. No instruments were working again.
20 hours passed again. The crew were exhausted. Hours of troubleshooting haven't yielded anything. The onboard computer is still dead.
Suddenly, some beeps started to happen again, exactly as happened 20 hours ago. The computer started again, detecting the same constellation as before. And the solar system. The crew members look at each other baffled.
"Are we stuck in a time loop?"
Its 2859 in Earth. The commander, who lost all hopes turned the detectors one last time. Like he was expecting some miracle.
Evenjng approached. He sat infront of the detector. There is a faint signal. Increasing by minutes. The signal becomes stronger. Bis eyes widened.
"Yes! The ship."
He run verification tests, location identified. The ship is going past solar system. Again! They didn't slow down. No intention of landing.
He took a pen. A scribble pad was at the desk. He wrote:
"The universe is a sphere. A 4D sphere.
Its no coincidence that the name of the ship is Magellan"
***
Sorry for the odd grammer and vague writing. I'm not an english speaker. Please forgive me if I wasted your time.
|
Dirk Gamblecraft and Newt Airman were indisputably the best pilots humanity had ever conceived, this is why they were in charge of tackling the most promissing mission in our history: Discovery II. Using interstellar travel, they had to check for life outside Earth and report back immediately if they found something.
"Once you get used to the beauty of stars and planets, the void gets boring." Said Dirk and his face slowly turned red as if he was trying to hold something really badly.
Newt bursted in laughter and so did Dirk. "Get used, hahahah!". Replied Dirk, splattering salive all over the spaceship's control panel.
They kept laughing for an hour, one could argue a sane man wouldn't have laughed at such a bad joke for so long. "Newt, get ready to jump, the radar found a planet strangely similiar to Earth nearby Alpha Centauri." He said, his eyes bright and watery of excitement.
Dirk furrowed his brows, "how similar?"
"Hold on tight!" Screamed Newt as time and space coupled throwing them heavily against their sits. An instant later the spaceship was now in front of this planet. Dirk and Newt stood silent, their extremities trembling.
"This must be a mistake, Newt. We are back on Earth! How could you make a mistake?" Exclaimed Dirk, crossly.
Newt was pale as a ghost, his jaw shivered up and down trying to say something but nothing came out of his mouth, all he managed to do was point at it. Dirk examined the planet meticulously, it was impossible.
"No, no, no, this is impossible, we must have broken an unknown law of physic and travelled back in time." Said Dirk, furiously shaking his head, now he trembled too.
"Fuck Dirk, stop saying bullshit, we didn't break anything. This planet is Earth in the paleolitic era, look how close the continents are, hell, look at the whole enviroment colours." Snapped Newt.
The radar started tilting like crazy, there was another similar planet in Barnard's Star. This time, Newt didn't say anything and just set course and went there.
Once again, their jaw dropped. This planet was more advanced that the last one yet not as much as Earth. "Take the telescope, I can't distinguish what era is this." Commanded Dirk, his voice stumbled.
Newt went to the back of the aircraft and came back with a tiny device that looked like a flat metal square. Newt pressed a button on its side and an enormous holographic display appeared in front of their cabin. "Let's see, first I have to input the coordinates and then press the magnifying thing. Whala!" Exclaimed Dirk as a clear picture of this planet surfaces appeared.
They both looked at each other, perplexed as though they have seen a ghost. "Should we do it?" Asked Newt and Dirk nodded. Instantly, their spaceship descended into the planet's surface.
Barnard's Star shone brightly and mercilessly, luckily for the pilots their suit was custom made to not feel temperatures below a high threshold. A vast terrain of sand, a desert was what they found. Thousands of people stared at them in awe, some of them wore gold garments on their bodies but the majority wore white stained rugs.
"Egypt, they're struggling to build piramids." Whispered Newt.
"Let's show them how they can do it, it's the only way to find out." Said Dirk walking towards the people scaring them away.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*"Washington Base to Dirk and Newt, it's been 10 years since you arrived to that planet, I repeat, It's been 10 years and you are not reporting anything back. What's happening?"* An annoying voice came from a device on their suits.
"Robert, if you were here, if only you were here." Replied Dirk.
*"What's happening Dirk? Answer, did the rescue mission get to your planet?"*
"Yes they are here with us, looking at themselves."
*"What do you mean?"*
"We are all looking at us in the walls of the piramid." Dirk said, his voice cracking and his eyes streaming.
*"Explain yourself, I repeat explain yourself."*
"Don't you get it? Do I really have to explain it? There's a superior race of Humans somewhere in the universe."
*"Find them."*
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you enjoyed please consider checking: /r/chasisoxidado
|
Edit: Thank you all so much for this!! The idea came to me in the shower about a week ago, as a thought about "what really weird things we could find as we set to explore the galaxy?". I liked it because there are so many possible angles, and because it hasn't been done before AFAIK (???). I am having a blast reading all your stories.
|
[WP] It's the year 2851. Humanity develops interstellar travel and begins to explore the Milky Way galaxy in search for life. However, much to everyone's surprise, instead of alien life we find... Earth's biosphere complete with humans, repeated over and over at different stages of progress.
|
The planet Auryth was splashed across the holoscreens, a single spot of resplendent green and blue amongst an inky canvas of somber black. The gathered crew in the command bridge silently watched as the reconnaissance probe completed its task, then puttered back slowly to dock with the mothership.
Gareth Hader, First Mate on the SS Vulture, snapped off a sharp salute when he arrived on the bridge. He had spent almost two full Earth days in the probe, and he certainly looked the worse for wear.
"At ease," said Captain Layna Nurely, fighting to keep the urgency in her voice from showing. "How much resistance do we expect?"
Gareth collapsed into a nearby chair, then tapped his wrist against the receptor dock. The data he had so laboriously collected was instantly uploaded to the mainframe, and figures, images began to ran over the hologram of Auryth.
"Little," he said, a wan smile crossing his lips, "They are primitive. I cross-referenced their technological advancements against our own, and the closest approximation is Earth in the 1200s."
"So, essentially the Middle Ages?"
Gareth laughed, and said, "More like Prehistoric, compared to us. Even a gap of a single decade is monumental, much less over 1600 years."
That much was true. Kurzweil's Law already accounted for how technological advancement accelerates over time, which was how Earth had required over a thousand years to harness tachyon manipulation, but only a hundred more to perfect numellar resonance. From the hundred or so conquests already won in the Federation's name, a gap of over 1600 years in comparative advancement meant that the SS Vulture had an approximate 99.95% chance of enslaving Auryth within two days.
Still, something about Auryth rubbed Captain Layna the wrong way, something she couldn't put her finger on.
"You sure they have no means of resisting our numellar rays?"
Gareth laughed again. "Resist? They would need tonist weaves to even have a chance of resisting the first assault we launch, and who knows how long they would need to even develop *that*."
"What about other weapons? Maybe they have expertise in something else we aren't expecting? I don't want to have to call off the assault just to request for specialist backup, that won't look good on our records at all."
Gareth knew what she was referring to. The SS Farsight, ironically, had been one of the most glaring testaments to how *not* to conquer an Earth-clone, the derogatory term used for all the other planets in the galaxy who showed signs of human life.
In that early foray, the SS Farsight had plunged headfirst into a frontal assault, believing themselves the clear victors in a horribly imbalanced match-up. Too late did they realise that the humans of that Earth-clone, though far less weaponized, had managed to tame the giant beasts which roamed that planet. It had taken full reinforcements from two other starships before the planet was finally brought to heel.
"I sent drones down," said Gareth, "this is what war looks like on Auryth. Take a look."
The holorecordings began playing, and a scene of a large field took over the holoscreens. On opposite ends stood two tribes, and at the sound of a horn blasting through the air, a single representative from each tribe approached the other, meeting in the middle.
"This is as bloodthirsty as they will get," said Gareth, sharing the insights he had gleaned, "they wear simple armour made out of dried furs, and they are each equipped with a single long pole. I'll speed it up here, because that's all they do for hours, just facing each other, weapons at the ready."
"Then what? They fight?"
"If you can call it that," said Gareth, "see, here? One of them eventually moves to strike, the other fails to parry, and he goes down. *Boom*. That's it. That's all it is. Hours and hours of staring at each other, then the conflict is over, that tribe has just won more land."
"And all of them do that?"
"All of them. They don't have countries, just tribes like this. Everyone has their own pole, they carry it with them all the time, sort of like a belief that everyone is responsible for their own safety. But when they fight, they only send a single representative forward."
"Any reason why they are so... minimalist?"
Gareth shrugged. "Best I can surmise with the help of our database is that they have evolved a practice of minimizing bloodshed. Auryth is not a particularly rich planet, and my guess is that they have realised it makes more sense to have a single champion decide conflicts for them, rather than engage in large-scale waste. We had a similar practice too, ages ago.”
Captain Layna pushed off from her control pod, then waved at the holoscreens. The implanted receptors in her wrists scrolled through the rest of the reports quickly, finally settling on the summarized conclusion.
“Culture, religion, agriculture, economics… all behind us. So that’s how the 99.95% chance was divined,” Captain Layna said, a smug smile slowly spreading across her face.
"It is a sparse existence, that's for sure."
"Almost like they are begging for us to arrive. Can you imagine how many years of development we will have saved them, just by intervening?"
“Captain,” said Gareth, “I formally recommend we begin the invasion now. Under Article 6, I request that the SS Vulture engage in a swift and decisive victory, to bring the planet Auryth under our banner, so that the Federation may add yet one more colony to its roster, and further quell the chance that one day, another planet may rise up to challenge our rule of the galaxy.”
Captain Layna thought for a moment longer, then nodded.
“Prepare for the invasion. All crew, to battlestations!”
---
Gareth was, quite poetically, both the first and last Earthling from the SS Vulture to arrive on and to leave Auryth.
He jetted off from the planet’s surface in an emergency escape pod he had stashed in the woods. As he soared into the relative safety of space, he forced himself to look back, to gaze upon the smoking carcass of the SS Vulture, split asunder in multiple pieces across the landscape.
He suspected that he knew why he was the only one who had survived. He knew that there should not have been anyone who could have escaped the wrath of the Aurythians.
And so he did what he was expected to do.
“Federation, this is Gareth Hader, the only survivor of the SS Vulture,” he forced himself to say into the tachyon transmitter, voice raspy from all the screaming he had done.
“Be advised, planet Auryth is now aware of the Federation and its goals. Long-range bombardment… is essential! Do not enter within two starclicks of the planet, we do not have defences against them…”
Gareth paused, trying to find the words to explain the dangers which Auryth presented. He racked his mind, so disused was the word he was looking for. Earth had indeed toyed with this concept once, long ago, but when it was finally disproved, conclusively (or so they thought), it had become almost a mark of the uneducated to even talk about it.
Until now.
“… the Aurythians… they have… telepathic powers… beyond our comprehension...”
Warning delivered, Gareth suddenly felt his throat close up as the horrors swarmed his vision. He tried to breath, but his lungs failed to obey, as did his arms and legs. He forced himself to turn around, screaming silently, knowing full well that on the planet he had left behind, there was but a single man, holding a focus rod, who had finally found the quarry he was looking for.
Just one man, when there were millions more.
---
/r/rarelyfunny
|
Dirk Gamblecraft and Newt Airman were indisputably the best pilots humanity had ever conceived, this is why they were in charge of tackling the most promissing mission in our history: Discovery II. Using interstellar travel, they had to check for life outside Earth and report back immediately if they found something.
"Once you get used to the beauty of stars and planets, the void gets boring." Said Dirk and his face slowly turned red as if he was trying to hold something really badly.
Newt bursted in laughter and so did Dirk. "Get used, hahahah!". Replied Dirk, splattering salive all over the spaceship's control panel.
They kept laughing for an hour, one could argue a sane man wouldn't have laughed at such a bad joke for so long. "Newt, get ready to jump, the radar found a planet strangely similiar to Earth nearby Alpha Centauri." He said, his eyes bright and watery of excitement.
Dirk furrowed his brows, "how similar?"
"Hold on tight!" Screamed Newt as time and space coupled throwing them heavily against their sits. An instant later the spaceship was now in front of this planet. Dirk and Newt stood silent, their extremities trembling.
"This must be a mistake, Newt. We are back on Earth! How could you make a mistake?" Exclaimed Dirk, crossly.
Newt was pale as a ghost, his jaw shivered up and down trying to say something but nothing came out of his mouth, all he managed to do was point at it. Dirk examined the planet meticulously, it was impossible.
"No, no, no, this is impossible, we must have broken an unknown law of physic and travelled back in time." Said Dirk, furiously shaking his head, now he trembled too.
"Fuck Dirk, stop saying bullshit, we didn't break anything. This planet is Earth in the paleolitic era, look how close the continents are, hell, look at the whole enviroment colours." Snapped Newt.
The radar started tilting like crazy, there was another similar planet in Barnard's Star. This time, Newt didn't say anything and just set course and went there.
Once again, their jaw dropped. This planet was more advanced that the last one yet not as much as Earth. "Take the telescope, I can't distinguish what era is this." Commanded Dirk, his voice stumbled.
Newt went to the back of the aircraft and came back with a tiny device that looked like a flat metal square. Newt pressed a button on its side and an enormous holographic display appeared in front of their cabin. "Let's see, first I have to input the coordinates and then press the magnifying thing. Whala!" Exclaimed Dirk as a clear picture of this planet surfaces appeared.
They both looked at each other, perplexed as though they have seen a ghost. "Should we do it?" Asked Newt and Dirk nodded. Instantly, their spaceship descended into the planet's surface.
Barnard's Star shone brightly and mercilessly, luckily for the pilots their suit was custom made to not feel temperatures below a high threshold. A vast terrain of sand, a desert was what they found. Thousands of people stared at them in awe, some of them wore gold garments on their bodies but the majority wore white stained rugs.
"Egypt, they're struggling to build piramids." Whispered Newt.
"Let's show them how they can do it, it's the only way to find out." Said Dirk walking towards the people scaring them away.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*"Washington Base to Dirk and Newt, it's been 10 years since you arrived to that planet, I repeat, It's been 10 years and you are not reporting anything back. What's happening?"* An annoying voice came from a device on their suits.
"Robert, if you were here, if only you were here." Replied Dirk.
*"What's happening Dirk? Answer, did the rescue mission get to your planet?"*
"Yes they are here with us, looking at themselves."
*"What do you mean?"*
"We are all looking at us in the walls of the piramid." Dirk said, his voice cracking and his eyes streaming.
*"Explain yourself, I repeat explain yourself."*
"Don't you get it? Do I really have to explain it? There's a superior race of Humans somewhere in the universe."
*"Find them."*
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you enjoyed please consider checking: /r/chasisoxidado
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Edit: Thank you all so much for this!! The idea came to me in the shower about a week ago, as a thought about "what really weird things we could find as we set to explore the galaxy?". I liked it because there are so many possible angles, and because it hasn't been done before AFAIK (???). I am having a blast reading all your stories.
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[WP] It's the year 2851. Humanity develops interstellar travel and begins to explore the Milky Way galaxy in search for life. However, much to everyone's surprise, instead of alien life we find... Earth's biosphere complete with humans, repeated over and over at different stages of progress.
|
It was the ultimate question. The question that had haunted humanity since the invention of intelligence. Where did we come from?
There were a number of theories held by various individuals of varying levels of credibility. Many have posited that life was the work of someone named god, but all attempts to convince said someone to come forward and take credit for their work have so far proved unsuccessful.
Quite a bit of debate has been held on the topic, as many doubt whether this "god" person even exists or not, or what type of guy he is, or if he's even a guy at all. Some argue that god is a woman, or a tentacle monster with forty seven eyes. A few people think it's quite clear that god is real but don't think he's responsible for the creation of life, rather that he is a sort of cosmic step dad who simply stumbled upon life and decided to nurture it.
One man in the early twenty first century was absolutely convinced that god was an entity made out of negative space. He believed that the default state of the universe was nothingness and that existence was simply an accidental byproduct of inexistence, a small mistake that had ballooned into a slightly bigger mistake but was ultimately doomed to correct itself. According to him death is not only inevitable but it is, in fact, our very purpose in life. This resonated with quite a few people and his beliefs became the dominant religion worldwide for the next two centuries though many modern historians theorize that most people were only doing it ironically.
Perhaps the most ridiculous theory of all stated that life emerged on earth roughly four billion years ago when the primordial conditions of the planet eventually reached a state that facilitated the generation of simple organic molecules through abiotic processes which eventually joined together to form primitive cellular life forms that evolved and diversified into increasingly complex and varied forms over the next four billion years. Of course, a rational person would say that that's not ridiculous at all but since when has the universe ever been rational? Has any rational person stopped to consider that perhaps it's irrational to be rational in an irrational world?
You see, those rational individuals have no idea what to do when the universe fails to adhere to their fascist standards of rationality. For example, in 2851 the brightest, most insufferably rational minds of humanity managed to invent faster than light travel and humanity ventured forth to explore unknown stars and discover brand new worlds. Yet what they discovered was that those brand new worlds were actually quite familiar.
They plugged in a few bits of data to some sophisticated computer program and it churned out a list of golden worlds, planets with just the right cosmic conditions for life to exist. What they found as they visited them, one by one, was that each and every planet contained life almost identical to that on earth but at various different stages in evolutionary history.
When the astronauts that stepped foot on the first golden world, designated HR-6709C, reported that there were dinosaurs roaming the planet those rationalists were sure that it was simply an April fools joke. When they realized it was, in fact, July 19th not April 1st, they became quite confused.
Six golden worlds later people were reeling from the discovery of consistently identical biospheres on each successive world when they found a planet with early hominids living in caves. The already abuzz scientific community was set even abuzzer by this discovery on the planet HR-4825A, but that was just the beginning.
The world waited with bated breath, wondering what exactly we would discover if we kept looking. Hovering above HR-1706D was a Terminus class exploratory vessel with a crew ready to investigate that very question.
________________________________________________________________
Commander Peter Townsend stood tall, gazing out the viewscreen at the virgin world before him, head held high, hands behind his back, boots straight laced, nose regal and mustache quivering. In a moment of indulgence he set aside professionalism and allowed himself to feel a bit of awe. He even went so far as to allow himself a smidge of excitement (*just* a smidge).
Without turning he voiced aloud that thought which had gotten lodged in his mind like a two day old piece of popcorn gets stuck between your teeth: the ultimate question. "Where does life come from, I wonder?"
His first mate Lieutenant Kira Briggs, who stood beside him, glanced to her left, then her right, then behind her to make sure he wasn't talking to someone else before shrugging her shoulders and responding, "Dunno." A statement which is really quite a bit more intelligent than it sounds.
Commander Townsend jumped, almost as if he were startled by her response, probably because he had completely forgotten she was there. Embarrassed that she had witnessed his lapse in professionalism he coughed loudly and looked at her stiffly, saying, "Ah... yes, right," before turning to look back out the viewscreen. After a momentary pause and a scratch of his nose he turned back towards her and asked "No theories at all?"
"Not really."
With uncharacteristic enthusiasm he persisted, "Come on, everyone has some kind of theory."
She pursed her lips for a moment and then, with a hint of smile (*just* a hint) said "I once met a homeless man that tried to convince me God was a writer with a magic keyboard and life was the result of a drunken night of writing and a few too many typos."
"Huh."
"Yeah"
A pair of heavy boots clanked across the metal floor of the bridge. "Sir the shuttle is prepped and gear is loaded. We're ready for planetary touchdown as soon as you and the lieutenant are aboard."
"Very well. The bridge is yours until we return Officer Grant."
Aboard the shuttle the Commander and Lieutenant assumed their seats just behind the pilot. With the go ahead from the Commander the hangar doors slid open and the shuttle zipped off into the nothingness of space.
As they approached the atmosphere of the planet below the pilots voice emerged over the hum of the engines, "Ready to take your first step on an alien world Briggs?"
"Definitely. Wish I'd gotten a more exciting planet for my first though."
A bearded head sprouted from the gap between the Lieutenant and Commander's seats, "What? A lifeless rock doesn't get your juices flowing?"
"It's a golden world Hans," said the pilot "what's not exciting about that? Who knows what we'll find."
"Eh more like a burnt mustard than golden really. All our scans indicate that it has the potential for life but right now it's just a big rocky bowl filled with boiling soup, not that interesting."
Briggs scratched her nose, "Sorry Jack, gotta agree with Hans on this one. Woulda been nice to actually see alien life on my first trip to an alien planet."
"The life we've found so far hasn't been particularly *alien*, Lieutenant" interjected Commander Townsend.
"Exactly! That's *more* amazing than finding crazy weird alien lifeforms. Can you imagine being part of the first team that discovered *dinosaurs* on an early planet? Or *hominids*? I mean, how is that even possible? It makes no sense."
Townsend's mustache quivered. "Why, it makes perfect sense Lieutenant Briggs. The explanation is very simple."
Hans' hairy face once again emerged from the row behind them, "Oh really, *do* tell us, fearless leader, how you have single handedly solved the mystery that has plagued humanity's greatest scientists since we discovered interstellar travel?"
The Commander shot him a withering glare that would have shriveled the balls of a T-Rex from HR-6709C. Hans retreated swiftly to the safety of his own row just as his testicles retreated into the safety of his body.
"Isn't it obvious? It's simply convergent evolution. Similar environmental conditions select for similar lifeforms."
"But sir... the odds of the *exact* same set of lifeforms evolving on half a dozen different planets..." Briggs shook her head, "it's almost impossible."
"She's right. Convergent evolution isn't nearly that exact sir." Hans said with a cough and considerably more deference than usual.
"Alright then, Technician Pressly, what is your theory?"
The Commander realized that he may have made a grave mistake as Hans rubbed his hands together as if he'd been waiting the entire flight for that invitation, "Well, the way I figure it, the bloke that made the FTL drive, didn't actually make an FTL drive. He accidentally created time travel, and our exploratory vessels haven't moved at all, they've just been visiting earth at different time periods."
The Commander glared at him stony faced. Briggs raised an eyebrow. "Uh huh. Then why are there two moons here?"
"Shit."
The pilot laughed, "Maybe you should just keep quiet Hans. Anyway buckle up everyone, we're about to land."
"What about you Lieutenant? Any theories?"
"Well... probably gonna sound a bit out there, but I've thought... what if someone, or something, is performing an experiment?"
"An experiment?"
"Yeah, like scientists back on earth have cultured dozens of cloned bacteria colonies for decades under specific conditions to see if one of them can evolve a certain adaptation, and how."
"So what adaptation do you think these experimenters are looking for? And why?"
"Superpowers?" Said Han's voice.
"Dunno, could be anything. Not all our adaptations are biological, it could be a certain stage of civilization, of advancement... maybe a technological adaptation."
"A technology? Like what?"
_____________________________________________________________
"Officer Grant... we're picking up an interstellar transmission from the planet below."
"What? From our team?"
"No it's coming from the other side of the planet, it's... in binary."
"What does it say?"
**FTL DRIVE EMISSIONS DETECTED. VARIABLE ATTAINED. SEND FLEET.**
|
"Tell me it isn't another earth-like planet."
Fredric looked at the Captain sitting in his hover chair, sighed and rubbed his temple. "Well, I am sorry to disappoint you, then. It is Earth."
The Captain was silent. He stood up from the chair and turned away from Fredric. In front of him was a giant screen, showing a beautiful blue planet decorated with wisps of clouds against a background of pitch-black darkness.
"When?" He finally asked. The Captain was still facing the viewing screen, his face half-illuminated by the light reflected from the wonderful world below.
Fredric hesitated to reply, for his answer was a preposterous one. *But our voyage is a ridiculous journey*, he thought gloomily. *We have hoped to find extraterrestrial lifeforms, but instead we have encountered numerous versions of earths.* There was an earth when human just climbed down from trees, another one when Julius Caesar has returned from a new victorious conquest, one more when Galileo was gazing at the starry night sky, contemplating the secrets of the universe , and the last one, was when Hitler was rallying his faithful fanatics before the notorious war.
Fredric was startled when the Captain coughed. He then immediately realised his purpose here - to report instead of wool-gathering . Embarrassed, he avoided the eye contact and stared at his tip of shoes. "Um, " he said, "I - I don't know."
"What?" The Captain lunged forward as if to attack Fredric.
"We don't know," Fredric breathed, "we don't. No clue whatsoever." He shifted his centre of gravity to another leg, inhaled deeply before saying, "it is, clearly, not from our past."
-
"Apparently, a mistake was made when the theorists put all the equations together," said Henry Lynch, a pleasant young man who always wore oversized clothes and glasses, "this is not a Wormhole Drive."
"I agree," an austere-looking woman replied, "instead of tearing apart the fabric of time and space, the Drive opened up a portal to a higher dimension."
"Yes, yes, it must be the case," Henry nodded while biting his pen absentmindedly, "But the question is how? So far as I checked, Jane, the theory seemed flawless ..." he scratched his head.
The woman called Jane picked up a mug and sipped some coffee. She had lustrous black hair with a pair of strikingly green eyes that could stop Fredric's heart from beating just by a single glance. She was about 24, slightly thinner than Henry, but much taller. Many people have mistakenly considered her as his elder sister, but Fredric knew Henry was three-year older than her. Nonetheless, both of them were ingenious scientists that Fredric was honoured to work with.
"I believe the mistake is made in the assumptions ... here." She pointed out a line on Henry's paper, "it may not be entirely correct."
"So we are not travelling by a Wormhole," Fredric spoke before the conversation slid to something he had completely no idea of, "but a - how did you call it?"
"Five, or even six dimension." Replied Henry. He wiped his digital drawing pad clean and hastily sketched a line and a circle, then continued: "If you want to bend something, you need to do it in a higher dimension. For example if you want to get to another point ..." he drew a paper with two dots on it, "you can travel via a straight line. Or, more convenient ... " He drew another paper, folded, with two points on different side, and pretended to poke it with his stylus.
"Fold it, crack a hole, and go through!"
"The paper represents the two dimension scenario, wheres the place where we bend it must be a three-dimensional world." Jane added.
"Therefore if you want to travel through space instantaneously, just bend it in a higher dimension. Since we are travelling in a universe of multiple earths of different stages, it is reasonable enough that we are travelling through time - you know, like jump from one scene to the next in a movie. Or we maybe travelling through *different timelines*, like parallel universes. Wonderful, isn't it?"
Fredric held up his hands. "Look, I am just a historian. I don't understand. But can you please explain to me why this earth is not from any - ah, familiar era?"
"It's simple - we have either gone to the future, or have gone to an earth of different evolutionary pattern in a different universe."
"Personally, I am more inclined to the future," said Jane, "because in a different universe, the plank's constant may be different, so everything might just change - our spaceship will certainly not able to withstand the conditions here. But we are not."
Fredric found it very hard to absorb whatever Jane said. It could be the fault of that pair of mesmerising green eyes - his could feel his heart physically constrict whenever she looked at him. Still, trying to maintain his disguise of aloofness, Fredric nodded solemnly and expressed his agreement.
-
"So that's it? Future earth?" The Captain queried sceptically. Fredric swallowed hard and replied a "yes".
"Are we allowed to see it, then? At least we could tell what will happen to our people in the future."
"I... I don't think so, Captain. Jane said future is fluid. It may not be there anymore as soon as you see it, kind of like the 'Uncertainty principle'." The last phrase was quoted from Henry, of course.
Seeing no indications of any kind of emotional response from the Captain, Fredric decided to tell him the most devastating news. *He will know anyway* he thought, resigned.
"We are not going home, either. Because once we travelled away from it, it may change due to our departure. We probably will get a similar but never-the-same earth of our era. We ..."
The Captain held up one finger to silence Fredric. For a long, silent moment he was just staring at the luminous ball below, his heavy eyebrow knitted together. Finally, he asked.
"We could find a future," he said, quietly, "that we all are satisfied with - and try to settle there."
THE END?
The explanation part is partly from the *insterstella*. My major is not physics, so if you see any scientific/conceptual error please point out!
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Edit: Thank you all so much for this!! The idea came to me in the shower about a week ago, as a thought about "what really weird things we could find as we set to explore the galaxy?". I liked it because there are so many possible angles, and because it hasn't been done before AFAIK (???). I am having a blast reading all your stories.
|
[WP] It's the year 2851. Humanity develops interstellar travel and begins to explore the Milky Way galaxy in search for life. However, much to everyone's surprise, instead of alien life we find... Earth's biosphere complete with humans, repeated over and over at different stages of progress.
|
It was the ultimate question. The question that had haunted humanity since the invention of intelligence. Where did we come from?
There were a number of theories held by various individuals of varying levels of credibility. Many have posited that life was the work of someone named god, but all attempts to convince said someone to come forward and take credit for their work have so far proved unsuccessful.
Quite a bit of debate has been held on the topic, as many doubt whether this "god" person even exists or not, or what type of guy he is, or if he's even a guy at all. Some argue that god is a woman, or a tentacle monster with forty seven eyes. A few people think it's quite clear that god is real but don't think he's responsible for the creation of life, rather that he is a sort of cosmic step dad who simply stumbled upon life and decided to nurture it.
One man in the early twenty first century was absolutely convinced that god was an entity made out of negative space. He believed that the default state of the universe was nothingness and that existence was simply an accidental byproduct of inexistence, a small mistake that had ballooned into a slightly bigger mistake but was ultimately doomed to correct itself. According to him death is not only inevitable but it is, in fact, our very purpose in life. This resonated with quite a few people and his beliefs became the dominant religion worldwide for the next two centuries though many modern historians theorize that most people were only doing it ironically.
Perhaps the most ridiculous theory of all stated that life emerged on earth roughly four billion years ago when the primordial conditions of the planet eventually reached a state that facilitated the generation of simple organic molecules through abiotic processes which eventually joined together to form primitive cellular life forms that evolved and diversified into increasingly complex and varied forms over the next four billion years. Of course, a rational person would say that that's not ridiculous at all but since when has the universe ever been rational? Has any rational person stopped to consider that perhaps it's irrational to be rational in an irrational world?
You see, those rational individuals have no idea what to do when the universe fails to adhere to their fascist standards of rationality. For example, in 2851 the brightest, most insufferably rational minds of humanity managed to invent faster than light travel and humanity ventured forth to explore unknown stars and discover brand new worlds. Yet what they discovered was that those brand new worlds were actually quite familiar.
They plugged in a few bits of data to some sophisticated computer program and it churned out a list of golden worlds, planets with just the right cosmic conditions for life to exist. What they found as they visited them, one by one, was that each and every planet contained life almost identical to that on earth but at various different stages in evolutionary history.
When the astronauts that stepped foot on the first golden world, designated HR-6709C, reported that there were dinosaurs roaming the planet those rationalists were sure that it was simply an April fools joke. When they realized it was, in fact, July 19th not April 1st, they became quite confused.
Six golden worlds later people were reeling from the discovery of consistently identical biospheres on each successive world when they found a planet with early hominids living in caves. The already abuzz scientific community was set even abuzzer by this discovery on the planet HR-4825A, but that was just the beginning.
The world waited with bated breath, wondering what exactly we would discover if we kept looking. Hovering above HR-1706D was a Terminus class exploratory vessel with a crew ready to investigate that very question.
________________________________________________________________
Commander Peter Townsend stood tall, gazing out the viewscreen at the virgin world before him, head held high, hands behind his back, boots straight laced, nose regal and mustache quivering. In a moment of indulgence he set aside professionalism and allowed himself to feel a bit of awe. He even went so far as to allow himself a smidge of excitement (*just* a smidge).
Without turning he voiced aloud that thought which had gotten lodged in his mind like a two day old piece of popcorn gets stuck between your teeth: the ultimate question. "Where does life come from, I wonder?"
His first mate Lieutenant Kira Briggs, who stood beside him, glanced to her left, then her right, then behind her to make sure he wasn't talking to someone else before shrugging her shoulders and responding, "Dunno." A statement which is really quite a bit more intelligent than it sounds.
Commander Townsend jumped, almost as if he were startled by her response, probably because he had completely forgotten she was there. Embarrassed that she had witnessed his lapse in professionalism he coughed loudly and looked at her stiffly, saying, "Ah... yes, right," before turning to look back out the viewscreen. After a momentary pause and a scratch of his nose he turned back towards her and asked "No theories at all?"
"Not really."
With uncharacteristic enthusiasm he persisted, "Come on, everyone has some kind of theory."
She pursed her lips for a moment and then, with a hint of smile (*just* a hint) said "I once met a homeless man that tried to convince me God was a writer with a magic keyboard and life was the result of a drunken night of writing and a few too many typos."
"Huh."
"Yeah"
A pair of heavy boots clanked across the metal floor of the bridge. "Sir the shuttle is prepped and gear is loaded. We're ready for planetary touchdown as soon as you and the lieutenant are aboard."
"Very well. The bridge is yours until we return Officer Grant."
Aboard the shuttle the Commander and Lieutenant assumed their seats just behind the pilot. With the go ahead from the Commander the hangar doors slid open and the shuttle zipped off into the nothingness of space.
As they approached the atmosphere of the planet below the pilots voice emerged over the hum of the engines, "Ready to take your first step on an alien world Briggs?"
"Definitely. Wish I'd gotten a more exciting planet for my first though."
A bearded head sprouted from the gap between the Lieutenant and Commander's seats, "What? A lifeless rock doesn't get your juices flowing?"
"It's a golden world Hans," said the pilot "what's not exciting about that? Who knows what we'll find."
"Eh more like a burnt mustard than golden really. All our scans indicate that it has the potential for life but right now it's just a big rocky bowl filled with boiling soup, not that interesting."
Briggs scratched her nose, "Sorry Jack, gotta agree with Hans on this one. Woulda been nice to actually see alien life on my first trip to an alien planet."
"The life we've found so far hasn't been particularly *alien*, Lieutenant" interjected Commander Townsend.
"Exactly! That's *more* amazing than finding crazy weird alien lifeforms. Can you imagine being part of the first team that discovered *dinosaurs* on an early planet? Or *hominids*? I mean, how is that even possible? It makes no sense."
Townsend's mustache quivered. "Why, it makes perfect sense Lieutenant Briggs. The explanation is very simple."
Hans' hairy face once again emerged from the row behind them, "Oh really, *do* tell us, fearless leader, how you have single handedly solved the mystery that has plagued humanity's greatest scientists since we discovered interstellar travel?"
The Commander shot him a withering glare that would have shriveled the balls of a T-Rex from HR-6709C. Hans retreated swiftly to the safety of his own row just as his testicles retreated into the safety of his body.
"Isn't it obvious? It's simply convergent evolution. Similar environmental conditions select for similar lifeforms."
"But sir... the odds of the *exact* same set of lifeforms evolving on half a dozen different planets..." Briggs shook her head, "it's almost impossible."
"She's right. Convergent evolution isn't nearly that exact sir." Hans said with a cough and considerably more deference than usual.
"Alright then, Technician Pressly, what is your theory?"
The Commander realized that he may have made a grave mistake as Hans rubbed his hands together as if he'd been waiting the entire flight for that invitation, "Well, the way I figure it, the bloke that made the FTL drive, didn't actually make an FTL drive. He accidentally created time travel, and our exploratory vessels haven't moved at all, they've just been visiting earth at different time periods."
The Commander glared at him stony faced. Briggs raised an eyebrow. "Uh huh. Then why are there two moons here?"
"Shit."
The pilot laughed, "Maybe you should just keep quiet Hans. Anyway buckle up everyone, we're about to land."
"What about you Lieutenant? Any theories?"
"Well... probably gonna sound a bit out there, but I've thought... what if someone, or something, is performing an experiment?"
"An experiment?"
"Yeah, like scientists back on earth have cultured dozens of cloned bacteria colonies for decades under specific conditions to see if one of them can evolve a certain adaptation, and how."
"So what adaptation do you think these experimenters are looking for? And why?"
"Superpowers?" Said Han's voice.
"Dunno, could be anything. Not all our adaptations are biological, it could be a certain stage of civilization, of advancement... maybe a technological adaptation."
"A technology? Like what?"
_____________________________________________________________
"Officer Grant... we're picking up an interstellar transmission from the planet below."
"What? From our team?"
"No it's coming from the other side of the planet, it's... in binary."
"What does it say?"
**FTL DRIVE EMISSIONS DETECTED. VARIABLE ATTAINED. SEND FLEET.**
|
Against a curtain of stars, a patch of reality *bent* like a thumbprint on glass. With a flash of light, the first human starship capable of faster than light travel returned to normal space. For months the ship had made its way between familiar stars, jumping toward promising worlds and extending it's telescopes in search of new targets when nothing but disappointment was found. But now as the pale light of another alien sun glimmered off the hull, a pale blue dot came into view in the distance. Sensors indicated all the hallmarks of carbon-based life. The crew embraced, eager to sent a message earthward reporting their success.
Orbiting above now, 2000 souls looked down on a planet undeniably crawling with life. The atmosphere had an almost greenish hue when viewed from certain angles. Thick plant life covered every continent beyond the icy poles and belt of deserts. Drone footage revealed fires the size of cities slowly sweeping across the surface. The single paleontologist onboard saw the comparison and demanded to join the landing party.
A day later, a shuttle with a team of twelve touched down in a rocky clearing at the edge of a vast forest. The levels of oxygen and spore count were nearly unbreathable, but the artificial lungs in the contruct bodies they wore adjusted to the mix quickly. With cameras in their eyes, the crew began to photograph anything they hadn't seen twice. Soon they had a catalog of giant dragonflies and centipeeds as long as cars. Not alien analogs the paleontologist realized, but known specimens with a documented place in Earth's fossil record. When the evidence began to stack up, she projected cached slides from the Internet into the party's vision to explain the comparison. Earth had once been exactly like this place.
Part 1 of 3
|
Edit: Thank you all so much for this!! The idea came to me in the shower about a week ago, as a thought about "what really weird things we could find as we set to explore the galaxy?". I liked it because there are so many possible angles, and because it hasn't been done before AFAIK (???). I am having a blast reading all your stories.
|
[WP] It's the year 2851. Humanity develops interstellar travel and begins to explore the Milky Way galaxy in search for life. However, much to everyone's surprise, instead of alien life we find... Earth's biosphere complete with humans, repeated over and over at different stages of progress.
|
"Sir, we have lost all communications with the ship" said the mission operator to the Commander.
"have you tried all the frequencies" he asked.
"Yes sir, I did. There is no hope" his voice turned to mere whisper.
It was the year 2851, when humanity finally developed warp speed interstellar travel. Entire world united to make this possible. Set to uncover the mysteries of universe.
The ship was travelling at 99% the speed of light. Time slowed down, in their frame of reference. About 20 hours passesd according to them since they left solar system. The onboard computer crashed, no communication possible with mission control.
Suddenly there was many beeps coming from different instruments. The onboard computer resumed. It starts to identify constellations. Strangely, it was very similar to the neighborhood of our solar system. The flight crew couldn't make out what was happening.
Its 2855 in Earth. All the news about the mission had settled. A failed mission for the history books. Nations split their development works. There is no united research now.
Only one remained. The Commander. He was still looking for the signal in his private o observatory.
One evening, his signal detecters started to pick up a signal. Yes, it was from the ship. He did multiple verifications. All of them conformed.
Only one anomaly, the signal source was coming towards earth.
The signal started to strengthen. He tried to locate it. It's in the solar system. The signal started to decrease in few minutes. Nothing afterwards.
"They went past earth. I don't understand" he exclaimed.
In the ship, the crew members couldn't explain whag they just experienced. An exact replica of Earth, solar system and nearby constellations!
Before they could learn more from the compuer, it crashed again. No instruments were working again.
20 hours passed again. The crew were exhausted. Hours of troubleshooting haven't yielded anything. The onboard computer is still dead.
Suddenly, some beeps started to happen again, exactly as happened 20 hours ago. The computer started again, detecting the same constellation as before. And the solar system. The crew members look at each other baffled.
"Are we stuck in a time loop?"
Its 2859 in Earth. The commander, who lost all hopes turned the detectors one last time. Like he was expecting some miracle.
Evenjng approached. He sat infront of the detector. There is a faint signal. Increasing by minutes. The signal becomes stronger. Bis eyes widened.
"Yes! The ship."
He run verification tests, location identified. The ship is going past solar system. Again! They didn't slow down. No intention of landing.
He took a pen. A scribble pad was at the desk. He wrote:
"The universe is a sphere. A 4D sphere.
Its no coincidence that the name of the ship is Magellan"
***
Sorry for the odd grammer and vague writing. I'm not an english speaker. Please forgive me if I wasted your time.
|
Against a curtain of stars, a patch of reality *bent* like a thumbprint on glass. With a flash of light, the first human starship capable of faster than light travel returned to normal space. For months the ship had made its way between familiar stars, jumping toward promising worlds and extending it's telescopes in search of new targets when nothing but disappointment was found. But now as the pale light of another alien sun glimmered off the hull, a pale blue dot came into view in the distance. Sensors indicated all the hallmarks of carbon-based life. The crew embraced, eager to sent a message earthward reporting their success.
Orbiting above now, 2000 souls looked down on a planet undeniably crawling with life. The atmosphere had an almost greenish hue when viewed from certain angles. Thick plant life covered every continent beyond the icy poles and belt of deserts. Drone footage revealed fires the size of cities slowly sweeping across the surface. The single paleontologist onboard saw the comparison and demanded to join the landing party.
A day later, a shuttle with a team of twelve touched down in a rocky clearing at the edge of a vast forest. The levels of oxygen and spore count were nearly unbreathable, but the artificial lungs in the contruct bodies they wore adjusted to the mix quickly. With cameras in their eyes, the crew began to photograph anything they hadn't seen twice. Soon they had a catalog of giant dragonflies and centipeeds as long as cars. Not alien analogs the paleontologist realized, but known specimens with a documented place in Earth's fossil record. When the evidence began to stack up, she projected cached slides from the Internet into the party's vision to explain the comparison. Earth had once been exactly like this place.
Part 1 of 3
|
Edit: Thank you all so much for this!! The idea came to me in the shower about a week ago, as a thought about "what really weird things we could find as we set to explore the galaxy?". I liked it because there are so many possible angles, and because it hasn't been done before AFAIK (???). I am having a blast reading all your stories.
|
[WP] It's the year 2851. Humanity develops interstellar travel and begins to explore the Milky Way galaxy in search for life. However, much to everyone's surprise, instead of alien life we find... Earth's biosphere complete with humans, repeated over and over at different stages of progress.
|
The planet Auryth was splashed across the holoscreens, a single spot of resplendent green and blue amongst an inky canvas of somber black. The gathered crew in the command bridge silently watched as the reconnaissance probe completed its task, then puttered back slowly to dock with the mothership.
Gareth Hader, First Mate on the SS Vulture, snapped off a sharp salute when he arrived on the bridge. He had spent almost two full Earth days in the probe, and he certainly looked the worse for wear.
"At ease," said Captain Layna Nurely, fighting to keep the urgency in her voice from showing. "How much resistance do we expect?"
Gareth collapsed into a nearby chair, then tapped his wrist against the receptor dock. The data he had so laboriously collected was instantly uploaded to the mainframe, and figures, images began to ran over the hologram of Auryth.
"Little," he said, a wan smile crossing his lips, "They are primitive. I cross-referenced their technological advancements against our own, and the closest approximation is Earth in the 1200s."
"So, essentially the Middle Ages?"
Gareth laughed, and said, "More like Prehistoric, compared to us. Even a gap of a single decade is monumental, much less over 1600 years."
That much was true. Kurzweil's Law already accounted for how technological advancement accelerates over time, which was how Earth had required over a thousand years to harness tachyon manipulation, but only a hundred more to perfect numellar resonance. From the hundred or so conquests already won in the Federation's name, a gap of over 1600 years in comparative advancement meant that the SS Vulture had an approximate 99.95% chance of enslaving Auryth within two days.
Still, something about Auryth rubbed Captain Layna the wrong way, something she couldn't put her finger on.
"You sure they have no means of resisting our numellar rays?"
Gareth laughed again. "Resist? They would need tonist weaves to even have a chance of resisting the first assault we launch, and who knows how long they would need to even develop *that*."
"What about other weapons? Maybe they have expertise in something else we aren't expecting? I don't want to have to call off the assault just to request for specialist backup, that won't look good on our records at all."
Gareth knew what she was referring to. The SS Farsight, ironically, had been one of the most glaring testaments to how *not* to conquer an Earth-clone, the derogatory term used for all the other planets in the galaxy who showed signs of human life.
In that early foray, the SS Farsight had plunged headfirst into a frontal assault, believing themselves the clear victors in a horribly imbalanced match-up. Too late did they realise that the humans of that Earth-clone, though far less weaponized, had managed to tame the giant beasts which roamed that planet. It had taken full reinforcements from two other starships before the planet was finally brought to heel.
"I sent drones down," said Gareth, "this is what war looks like on Auryth. Take a look."
The holorecordings began playing, and a scene of a large field took over the holoscreens. On opposite ends stood two tribes, and at the sound of a horn blasting through the air, a single representative from each tribe approached the other, meeting in the middle.
"This is as bloodthirsty as they will get," said Gareth, sharing the insights he had gleaned, "they wear simple armour made out of dried furs, and they are each equipped with a single long pole. I'll speed it up here, because that's all they do for hours, just facing each other, weapons at the ready."
"Then what? They fight?"
"If you can call it that," said Gareth, "see, here? One of them eventually moves to strike, the other fails to parry, and he goes down. *Boom*. That's it. That's all it is. Hours and hours of staring at each other, then the conflict is over, that tribe has just won more land."
"And all of them do that?"
"All of them. They don't have countries, just tribes like this. Everyone has their own pole, they carry it with them all the time, sort of like a belief that everyone is responsible for their own safety. But when they fight, they only send a single representative forward."
"Any reason why they are so... minimalist?"
Gareth shrugged. "Best I can surmise with the help of our database is that they have evolved a practice of minimizing bloodshed. Auryth is not a particularly rich planet, and my guess is that they have realised it makes more sense to have a single champion decide conflicts for them, rather than engage in large-scale waste. We had a similar practice too, ages ago.”
Captain Layna pushed off from her control pod, then waved at the holoscreens. The implanted receptors in her wrists scrolled through the rest of the reports quickly, finally settling on the summarized conclusion.
“Culture, religion, agriculture, economics… all behind us. So that’s how the 99.95% chance was divined,” Captain Layna said, a smug smile slowly spreading across her face.
"It is a sparse existence, that's for sure."
"Almost like they are begging for us to arrive. Can you imagine how many years of development we will have saved them, just by intervening?"
“Captain,” said Gareth, “I formally recommend we begin the invasion now. Under Article 6, I request that the SS Vulture engage in a swift and decisive victory, to bring the planet Auryth under our banner, so that the Federation may add yet one more colony to its roster, and further quell the chance that one day, another planet may rise up to challenge our rule of the galaxy.”
Captain Layna thought for a moment longer, then nodded.
“Prepare for the invasion. All crew, to battlestations!”
---
Gareth was, quite poetically, both the first and last Earthling from the SS Vulture to arrive on and to leave Auryth.
He jetted off from the planet’s surface in an emergency escape pod he had stashed in the woods. As he soared into the relative safety of space, he forced himself to look back, to gaze upon the smoking carcass of the SS Vulture, split asunder in multiple pieces across the landscape.
He suspected that he knew why he was the only one who had survived. He knew that there should not have been anyone who could have escaped the wrath of the Aurythians.
And so he did what he was expected to do.
“Federation, this is Gareth Hader, the only survivor of the SS Vulture,” he forced himself to say into the tachyon transmitter, voice raspy from all the screaming he had done.
“Be advised, planet Auryth is now aware of the Federation and its goals. Long-range bombardment… is essential! Do not enter within two starclicks of the planet, we do not have defences against them…”
Gareth paused, trying to find the words to explain the dangers which Auryth presented. He racked his mind, so disused was the word he was looking for. Earth had indeed toyed with this concept once, long ago, but when it was finally disproved, conclusively (or so they thought), it had become almost a mark of the uneducated to even talk about it.
Until now.
“… the Aurythians… they have… telepathic powers… beyond our comprehension...”
Warning delivered, Gareth suddenly felt his throat close up as the horrors swarmed his vision. He tried to breath, but his lungs failed to obey, as did his arms and legs. He forced himself to turn around, screaming silently, knowing full well that on the planet he had left behind, there was but a single man, holding a focus rod, who had finally found the quarry he was looking for.
Just one man, when there were millions more.
---
/r/rarelyfunny
|
Against a curtain of stars, a patch of reality *bent* like a thumbprint on glass. With a flash of light, the first human starship capable of faster than light travel returned to normal space. For months the ship had made its way between familiar stars, jumping toward promising worlds and extending it's telescopes in search of new targets when nothing but disappointment was found. But now as the pale light of another alien sun glimmered off the hull, a pale blue dot came into view in the distance. Sensors indicated all the hallmarks of carbon-based life. The crew embraced, eager to sent a message earthward reporting their success.
Orbiting above now, 2000 souls looked down on a planet undeniably crawling with life. The atmosphere had an almost greenish hue when viewed from certain angles. Thick plant life covered every continent beyond the icy poles and belt of deserts. Drone footage revealed fires the size of cities slowly sweeping across the surface. The single paleontologist onboard saw the comparison and demanded to join the landing party.
A day later, a shuttle with a team of twelve touched down in a rocky clearing at the edge of a vast forest. The levels of oxygen and spore count were nearly unbreathable, but the artificial lungs in the contruct bodies they wore adjusted to the mix quickly. With cameras in their eyes, the crew began to photograph anything they hadn't seen twice. Soon they had a catalog of giant dragonflies and centipeeds as long as cars. Not alien analogs the paleontologist realized, but known specimens with a documented place in Earth's fossil record. When the evidence began to stack up, she projected cached slides from the Internet into the party's vision to explain the comparison. Earth had once been exactly like this place.
Part 1 of 3
|
Edit: Thank you all so much for this!! The idea came to me in the shower about a week ago, as a thought about "what really weird things we could find as we set to explore the galaxy?". I liked it because there are so many possible angles, and because it hasn't been done before AFAIK (???). I am having a blast reading all your stories.
|
[WP] It's the year 2851. Humanity develops interstellar travel and begins to explore the Milky Way galaxy in search for life. However, much to everyone's surprise, instead of alien life we find... Earth's biosphere complete with humans, repeated over and over at different stages of progress.
|
As the CSD Persphone approached the edge of the galaxy, her crew gathered on the bridge to celebrate the notable feat. She was the first ship capable of inter-Galactic travel and her crew was now the only explorers to ever leave humanities Galactic home. The sensors indicated they had breached the edges and each looked out upon the vastness of space. It was the most beautiful landscape their eyes had ever seen, but the crew which consisted largely of astrophysicists and astronomers noticed an oddity. The view on the other side of the galaxy was the view at the galaxy's furthest extent. It was as if they stood with their nose to a mirror.
There was no turning back, and the intrigue of the mirrored galaxy intrigued them even more than the possibility of infinite space. As the Incelerators engaged and pushed the ship further from home, the environs became more familiar. It was with excitement and confusion that known solar systems came into view. They were systems of the Milky Way.
The arguments were constant. Theories of the known universe had been suddenly flipped on their heads, and many did not take it well. Some argued they were in the same galaxy but had somehow curved over and reentered. Others argued that this was not the same galaxy but perhaps simply a similar galaxy to our own. There were fringe theories of time paradoxes and interdimensional travel, but at the root was a sudden ignorance among the smartest of minds.
And then they reached Earth. As the ship rested in orbit, the crew looked down on their home. But it wasn't. The northern hemisphere was still largely covered in ice as if the glacial retreats had never begun. As the ship moved into the Earth's shadow, they noticed there were no lights.
Drones were sent to the surface to gather information. The readings were far from the Earth which they had left. Temperatures were cooler, carbon dioxide levels were lower, but the images were the most astounding. Mammoths were roaming the northern expanse while Smilodons stalked them across the plains. Huge herds of ancient Buffalo moved across the landscape while Dire wolves hunted their weak. While viewing a gathering of the armored armadillo-like Glyptodons they discovered the most astounding revelation: a group of humans was spotted stalking the beasts from the tall grass. As they watched, the fur clad humans launched an attack with stone tipped spears. They separated one of the animals, and set to it with deadly purpose. After it succumbed to its many wounds, women and children emerged from the grass and set to butchering the animal.
The crew of the Persephone sat in stunned silence at the reality of what they had seen. But the questions remained unanswered. Had they traveled in time, into another mirrored galaxy, or into another dimension?
The CSD Persephone's engines pushed the ship away from the Paleolithic Earth and she once more began her intergalactic adventure. Her crew had willingly left their galaxy the intention of discovery, and they were set on expanding human knowledge at all cost. They had risked their lives for science, and with purpose they had set their mind to their next mission. They would go to the next galaxy, and the next if need be, and they would find the answers.
|
It's been 500 years since we discovered that Constellation A-B21 was filled with life. We prepared our best space armies to launch a full-fledged assault. But when we identified the life, our desire to annihilate them...vanished. All we could see on the closest planet were humans. Humans like us.
The same green planets made us sick with nostalgia as we watched the humans grow. The one closest to Earth seemed to be in the 21st Century, 800 years behind us. The structures that were 'modern' so long ago...it evoked emotions that we didn't know we had. The planets further on were further and further behind; some in the Industrial Revolution, some still inventing writing. The last bit of human life we could find hadn't even figured out how to farm yet. We left the planets untouched, according to instructions from superiors.
A year later we were back. But for a different reason. Our superiors decided that it was a perfect chance for an experiment - to see how alterations we could have made centuries ago would affect our society. But to spoil their way of life for a simulation...it seemed wrong. And I was the sole member of the team to violent protest against it. But, overruled, we sailed towards Constellation A-B21.
When we reached I refused to carry out a single action. The rest introduced advanced weaponry, incited wars and even destroyed one planet to 'test how well they can recover'. Their actions made me sick. But a protest would almost certainly guarantee an execution, an execution made especially easy in the vast emptiness of the surrounding void.
When we were done we made it back to Earth, my crew members laughing about the deeds they had done loudly. I brooded in a corner of my cabin, alone, thinking about how our actions today would affect the humans of tomorrow.
Another few centuries passed. Humans' lifespan could now be limitless, after scientists discovered the secret to aging (and the medication to counteract it). I had almost forgotten about the action we had done in the 29th Century. But I was rudely reminded of it one day.
It looked like a normal spaceship. Just like the advanced ones our starfleet boasted of. But this one...it seemed ready for combat. Equipped with weaponry we had never seen the likes of before, the inhabitants marched off the spaceship and started firing at the stunned onlookers. Storming into the White House, the place was eradicated within moments as the invaders took control of all media outlets. As I ate my breakfast, the sight of them reminded me.
They were humans.
But they were...so familiar.
"Humans of Earth. You attempted to use our planets as a tool for your entertainment and research. You killed some of your brothers to satisfy your lust for destruction," the leader said, his voice rising in anger and fury.
"Now we'll let you see how life as a 'tool of research' feels like. Watch out," he concluded, walking away from the mass of reporters. "Mister...Human, where do you hail from?" a particularly nosy reporter shoved his way to the front before asking.
"Constellation A-B21. I hope that satisfies you?" he asked, waiting for the reporter to nod before shooting him. The other reporters fled in the subsequent chaos.
I dropped the steak-flakes in my hand as they scattered all over the floor. But they were the least of my worries.
Constellation A-B21 wanted revenge.
And the revenge had begun.
_________________________________________________________________
Liked that? Check our r/Whale62 for more! :)
Edit: [Here's Part 2!](https://redd.it/6kgfl3)
Edit 2: [Here's Part 3!] (https://redd.it/6klxgo)
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