garcianacho/Scripts · Datasets at Hugging Face

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Drexl's dead. This is Clarence's coke and Clarence can do whatever he wants with it. And what Clarence wants to do is sell it. Then me and Bama are gonna leave on a jet plane and spend the rest of our lives spendin'. So, you got my letter, have you lined up any buyers?
Look, Clarence, I'm not Joe Cocaine.
But you're an actor. I hear these Hollywood guys have it delivered to the set.
Yeah, they do. And maybe when I start being a successful actor I'll know those guys. But most of the people I know are like me. They ain't got a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. Now, if you want to sell a little bit at a time
No way! The whole enchilada in one shot.
Do you have any idea how difficult that's gonna be?
I'm offering a half a million dollars worth of white for two hundred thousand. How difficult can that be?
It's difficult because you're sellin' it to a particular group. Big shots. Fat cats. Guys who can use that kind of quantity. Guys who can afford two hundred thousand. Basically, guys I don't know. You don't know. And, more important, they don't know you. I did talk with one guy who could possibly help you.
Is he big league?
He's nothing. He's in my acting class. But he works as an assistant to a very powerful movie producer named Lee Donowitz. I thought Donowitz could be interested in a deal like this. He could use it. He could afford it.
What'd'ya tell 'em?
Hardly anything. I wasn't sure from your letter what was bullshit, and what wasn't.
What's this acting class guy's name?
Elliot.
Elliot what?
Elliot Blitzer.
OK, call 'im up and arrange a meeting, so we can get through all the getting to know you stuff.
Where?
The zoo.
The zoo. What are you waiting for?
Would you just shut up a minute and let me think?
What's to think about?
Shut up! First you come waltzing into my life after two years. You're married. You killed a guy.
Two guys.
Two guys. Now you want me to help you with some big drug deal. Fuck, Clarence, you killed somebody and you're blowin' it off like it don't mean shit.
Don't expect me to be all broken up over poor Drexl. I think he was a fuckin', freeloadin', parasitic scumbag, and he got exactly what he deserved. I got no pity for a mad dog like that. I think I should get a merit badge or somethin'.
Clarence...
Let me handle this.
Yeah, well if we got lost, it's your ass. Come on, Clarence, lets go. Elliot's going to meet us in the lobby.
I'm just makin' sure we got everything. You got yours?
I got the part on "T.J. Hooker".
No shit? Dick, that's great!
They didn't even want a callback. They just hired me like that. Me and Peter Breck are the two heavies. We start shooting Monday. My call is for seven o'clock in the morning.
Ah, Dick, let's talk about it in the car. We can't be late.
Clarence.
Yeah?
Um, nothing, let's go?
What the fuck did you bring that for.
In case.
In case of what?
In case they try to kill us. I don't know, what do you want me to say?
Look, Dillinger, Lee Donowitz is not a pimp
I know that Richard. I don't think I'll need it. But something this last week has taught me, it's better to have a gun and not to need it than to need a gun and not to have it.
Do you really mean it?
No, I don't really mean it. Well, I mean, this is our last chance to think about it. How 'bout you, Bama?
Now's a helluva time to play "what if".
This is our last chance to play "what if". I want to do it. I'm just scared of getting caught.
Well, if we're not gonna do it, let's just get in the car and get the fuck outta here.
Yeah, let's just get outta here.
No. But thanks.
No thanks, my stomach's a little upset. I ate somethin' at a restaurant that made me a little sick.
Where the fuck is that bitch?
She's with me.
Who the fuck are you?
I'm her husband.
Well. That makes us practically related. Bring your ass on in.
Grab a seat there, boy. Want some dinner? Grab yourself an egg roll. We got everything here from a diddleeyedJoe to a damnedifIknow.
No thanks.
No thanks? What does that mean? Means you ate before you came down here? All full. Is that it? Naw, I don't think so. I think you're too scared to be eatin'. Now, see we're sittin' down here, ready to negotiate, and you've already given up your shit. I'm still a mystery to you. But I know exactly where your ass is comin' from. See, if I asked you if you wanted some dinner and you grabbed an egg roll and started to chow down, I'd say to myself, "This motherfucker's carryin' on like he ain't got a care in the world. Who know? Maybe he don't. Maybe this fool's such a bad motherfucker, he don't got to worry about nothin', he just sit down, eat my Chinese, watch my TV." See? You ain't even sat down yet. On that TV there, since you been in the room, is a woman with her titties hangin' out, and you ain't even bothered to look. You just been starin' at me. Now, I know I'm pretty, but I ain't as pretty as a couple of titties.
Wannabee nigger...
Fuck you! My mother was Apache.
What?
Can you live with it?
Live with what?
With that sonofabitch walkin' around breathin' the same air as you? And gettin' away with it every day. Are you haunted?
Yeah.
You wanna get unhaunted?
Yeah.
Then shoot 'em. Shoot 'em in the face. And feed that boy to the dogs.
I can't believe what you're tellin' me.
I ain't tellin' ya nothin'. I'm just sayin' what I'd do.
You'd really do that?
He don't got no right to live.
Look, Elvis, he is hauntin' me. He doesn't deserve to live. And I do want to kill him. But I don't wanna go to jail for the rest of my life.
I don't blame you.
If I thought I could get away with it
Killin' 'em's the hard part. Gettin' away with it's the easy part. Whaddaya think the cops do when a pimp's killed? Burn the midnight oil tryin' to find who done it? They couldn't give a flyin' fuck if all the pimps in the whole wide world took two in the back of the fuckin' head. If you don't get caught at the scene with the smokin' gun in your hand, you got away with it.
Clarence, I gotta hand it to ya. You were cooler than cool.
I was dying. I thought for sure everyone could see it on my face.
All anybody saw was Clint Eastwood drinkin' coffee.
Can you develop an ulcer in two minutes? Being cool is hard on your body.
Oh, and your line to Charles Atlas in there: "I'll take that gun", "You'll have to".
That was cool, wasn't it? You know, I don't even know where that came from. I just opened my mouth and it came out. After I said it I thought, that's a cool line, I gotta remember that.
How do you think I'm doin' with Lee?
Are you kiddin'? He loves you.
You don't think I'm kissin' his ass, do you?
You're tellin' him what he wants to hear, but that ain't the same thing as kissin' his ass.
I'm not lyin' to him. I mean it. I loved "Coming Home in a Body Bag".
That's why it doesn't come across as asskissin', because it's genuine, and he can see that.
Hold on a second, Big D. You sayin' you eat pussy?
Nigger, I eat everything. I eat pussy. I eat the butt. I eat every motherfuckin' thang.
Go on pussyeaters... laugh. You look like you be eatin' pussy. You got pussyeatin' mugs. Now if a nigger wants to get his dick sucked he's got to do a bunch of fuckedup shit.
So you do eat pussy!
Naw naw!
You don't like it, but you eat that shit. He eats it.
Ain't no man have to eat pussy!
Take that shit somewhere else.
What the fuck are you talkin' about?
Floyd say he don't be eatin' pussy.
Shit, any nigger say he don't eat pussy is lyin' his ass off.

Drexl's dead. This is Clarence's coke and Clarence can do whatever he wants with it. And what Clarence wants to do is sell it. Then me and Bama are gonna leave on a jet plane and spend the rest of our lives spendin'. So, you got my letter, have you lined up any buyers?

Look, Clarence, I'm not Joe Cocaine.

But you're an actor. I hear these Hollywood guys have it delivered to the set.

Yeah, they do. And maybe when I start being a successful actor I'll know those guys. But most of the people I know are like me. They ain't got a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. Now, if you want to sell a little bit at a time

No way! The whole enchilada in one shot.

Do you have any idea how difficult that's gonna be?

I'm offering a half a million dollars worth of white for two hundred thousand. How difficult can that be?

It's difficult because you're sellin' it to a particular group. Big shots. Fat cats. Guys who can use that kind of quantity. Guys who can afford two hundred thousand. Basically, guys I don't know. You don't know. And, more important, they don't know you. I did talk with one guy who could possibly help you.

Is he big league?

He's nothing. He's in my acting class. But he works as an assistant to a very powerful movie producer named Lee Donowitz. I thought Donowitz could be interested in a deal like this. He could use it. He could afford it.

What'd'ya tell 'em?

Hardly anything. I wasn't sure from your letter what was bullshit, and what wasn't.

What's this acting class guy's name?

Elliot.

Elliot what?

Elliot Blitzer.

OK, call 'im up and arrange a meeting, so we can get through all the getting to know you stuff.

Where?

The zoo.

The zoo. What are you waiting for?

Would you just shut up a minute and let me think?

What's to think about?

Shut up! First you come waltzing into my life after two years. You're married. You killed a guy.

Two guys.

Two guys. Now you want me to help you with some big drug deal. Fuck, Clarence, you killed somebody and you're blowin' it off like it don't mean shit.

Don't expect me to be all broken up over poor Drexl. I think he was a fuckin', freeloadin', parasitic scumbag, and he got exactly what he deserved. I got no pity for a mad dog like that. I think I should get a merit badge or somethin'.

Clarence...

Let me handle this.

Yeah, well if we got lost, it's your ass. Come on, Clarence, lets go. Elliot's going to meet us in the lobby.

I'm just makin' sure we got everything. You got yours?

I got the part on "T.J. Hooker".

No shit? Dick, that's great!

They didn't even want a callback. They just hired me like that. Me and Peter Breck are the two heavies. We start shooting Monday. My call is for seven o'clock in the morning.

Ah, Dick, let's talk about it in the car. We can't be late.

Clarence.

Yeah?

Um, nothing, let's go?

What the fuck did you bring that for.

In case.

In case of what?

In case they try to kill us. I don't know, what do you want me to say?

Look, Dillinger, Lee Donowitz is not a pimp

I know that Richard. I don't think I'll need it. But something this last week has taught me, it's better to have a gun and not to need it than to need a gun and not to have it.

Do you really mean it?

No, I don't really mean it. Well, I mean, this is our last chance to think about it. How 'bout you, Bama?

Now's a helluva time to play "what if".

This is our last chance to play "what if". I want to do it. I'm just scared of getting caught.

Well, if we're not gonna do it, let's just get in the car and get the fuck outta here.

Yeah, let's just get outta here.

No. But thanks.

No thanks, my stomach's a little upset. I ate somethin' at a restaurant that made me a little sick.

Where the fuck is that bitch?

She's with me.

Who the fuck are you?

I'm her husband.

Well. That makes us practically related. Bring your ass on in.

Grab a seat there, boy. Want some dinner? Grab yourself an egg roll. We got everything here from a diddleeyedJoe to a damnedifIknow.

No thanks.

No thanks? What does that mean? Means you ate before you came down here? All full. Is that it? Naw, I don't think so. I think you're too scared to be eatin'. Now, see we're sittin' down here, ready to negotiate, and you've already given up your shit. I'm still a mystery to you. But I know exactly where your ass is comin' from. See, if I asked you if you wanted some dinner and you grabbed an egg roll and started to chow down, I'd say to myself, "This motherfucker's carryin' on like he ain't got a care in the world. Who know? Maybe he don't. Maybe this fool's such a bad motherfucker, he don't got to worry about nothin', he just sit down, eat my Chinese, watch my TV." See? You ain't even sat down yet. On that TV there, since you been in the room, is a woman with her titties hangin' out, and you ain't even bothered to look. You just been starin' at me. Now, I know I'm pretty, but I ain't as pretty as a couple of titties.

Wannabee nigger...

Fuck you! My mother was Apache.

What?

Can you live with it?

Live with what?

With that sonofabitch walkin' around breathin' the same air as you? And gettin' away with it every day. Are you haunted?

Yeah.

You wanna get unhaunted?

Yeah.

Then shoot 'em. Shoot 'em in the face. And feed that boy to the dogs.

I can't believe what you're tellin' me.

I ain't tellin' ya nothin'. I'm just sayin' what I'd do.

You'd really do that?

He don't got no right to live.

Look, Elvis, he is hauntin' me. He doesn't deserve to live. And I do want to kill him. But I don't wanna go to jail for the rest of my life.

I don't blame you.

If I thought I could get away with it

Killin' 'em's the hard part. Gettin' away with it's the easy part. Whaddaya think the cops do when a pimp's killed? Burn the midnight oil tryin' to find who done it? They couldn't give a flyin' fuck if all the pimps in the whole wide world took two in the back of the fuckin' head. If you don't get caught at the scene with the smokin' gun in your hand, you got away with it.

Clarence, I gotta hand it to ya. You were cooler than cool.

I was dying. I thought for sure everyone could see it on my face.

All anybody saw was Clint Eastwood drinkin' coffee.

Can you develop an ulcer in two minutes? Being cool is hard on your body.

Oh, and your line to Charles Atlas in there: "I'll take that gun", "You'll have to".

That was cool, wasn't it? You know, I don't even know where that came from. I just opened my mouth and it came out. After I said it I thought, that's a cool line, I gotta remember that.

How do you think I'm doin' with Lee?

Are you kiddin'? He loves you.

You don't think I'm kissin' his ass, do you?

You're tellin' him what he wants to hear, but that ain't the same thing as kissin' his ass.

I'm not lyin' to him. I mean it. I loved "Coming Home in a Body Bag".

That's why it doesn't come across as asskissin', because it's genuine, and he can see that.

Hold on a second, Big D. You sayin' you eat pussy?

Nigger, I eat everything. I eat pussy. I eat the butt. I eat every motherfuckin' thang.

Go on pussyeaters... laugh. You look like you be eatin' pussy. You got pussyeatin' mugs. Now if a nigger wants to get his dick sucked he's got to do a bunch of fuckedup shit.

So you do eat pussy!

Naw naw!

You don't like it, but you eat that shit. He eats it.

Ain't no man have to eat pussy!

Take that shit somewhere else.

What the fuck are you talkin' about?

Floyd say he don't be eatin' pussy.

Shit, any nigger say he don't eat pussy is lyin' his ass off.