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Y'think?
I sure do.
Diane, I've loved you ever since I first saw you right before you kicked me in the head.
Oh, Jack...
Jack, sweetie, I'm only eating for two.
But Di, all this food reminds me of how much I want to teach our baby.
Like Cocoa Puffs. Good. Captain Crunch. Bad. Shreds the roof of your mouth. I mean you hear, "Tricks are for kids!" And you think, "I'm a kid, I guess they're for me." But your baby brain's got no idea that Fruit Loops are, like, a million times better. I'm going to save our kid all that pain.
Jack...
If you could be Count Chocula, Frankenberry or Trix the Rabbit, who'd you be?
Trix...
Me too! Will it ever end?! I love this lady!
Jack, I think I should get a job.
But we agreed your job is running the baby machine...
I know, but that was before.
Ah! I almost forgot gas for the baby machine. I'll grab your Snickers and get a place in line.
I never knew you dreamed of working in a grocery store bank branch. Baby, we are living the great American Dream!
Mmmhmmm...
If you reach for the stars, you're bound to get mmJack, pull over.
Huh? Oh Jesus...
Uh, Jack look, I can explain...
Diane, there's no excuse for not taking your prenatal vitamins. Now, if you guys were really friends, you'd remind her to take these.
...so although their dad said, "Don't get out of the car until I get back with help," they knew the sheriff's voice as he yelled. "Run to my voice and don't look back." The twins did as he said, but at the last second they turned around and saw the escaped mental patient, bouncing their father's head on the top of the car! Ah! They jumped, Diane! They jumped!
That was gas, Sweetie.
Oh... What are you working on?
Jus some girlie things for the squad.
Diane? Diane!
Huhhawha? Ahh! I'm under the ice! I'm uh oh...man... That was a weird one.
Oh my Gd, you've been robbed!
No...I've been pregnant.
Look, you're fat, Diane. You're fat, fat, fat! Because you eat, eat, eat! What?! She keeps asking because she wants some honesty.
No I don't... I keep asking because I feel fat.
Oh Gd, I'm sorry... You're not really fat! I was just saying that because, uh, I thought that's what you wanted me to say.
You sure?
Positive.
"Positive" you're sure I'm not fat or "positive" I'm...
Oh my Gd, I read about this! It's called a "pregnancy insanity." Quick, she needs a sitz bath
Look, I might be moody. I might be gassy. But I am perfectly sane. Think about it. In school, they tell us, "Dreams can come true." Right?
C'mon, Luce, people do it in the movies all the time.
And they get caught!
That's right. So all we have to do is watch a bunch of movies and learn from their mistakes.
No.
If you don't can you still afford to go to Harvard?
... I don't know. Probably not.
So then this isn't crazy. It's a sure bet.
Well...
But, we have to make a smart plan!
Of course of course! Hands in...
Okay, even with all our savings, it's still only six hundred fiftyfour.
Heeheehee, haaaaathat's it? Heehee hee...
We practice! Sorry, Cleo.
That's right. Practice makes perfect. I'm practicing to have a baby right now. If we do a practice job, we'll not only get the experience, but also the extra money we need for guns!
Di, it's Luce. Kansas just called and said she's going to "fuck me up!" Then I heard coughing, a thud and Kansas had to go. I think her Grandma had another heart attack. Anyway, why does she want to "fuck me up?"
She thinks you went to the police.
WHAT?! That's insane!!! Why would I go to the police?
I've got to get that. Relax. I'll see you tomorrow.
Another sex dream?
Wayne Gretzky.
Di, are you okay? We can skip the girl party this week.
Everything's fine. I'm just having a little trouble keeping my frown upside down.
...He slices off the guy's ear, and I mean you see everything the bloody pink hole where the
Cleo, I've already thrown up twice today could you please get to any relevant part of the movie?
Well...uh...they, y'know, uh... They had nicknames.
Di, we're sorry. We...
It's off... I can't take the fighting, the backstabbing, the open hostility. We're not acting like cheerleaders, we're acting like a bunch of sorority girls!
Is Jack upset that he can't be here?
Heeheehaaaaweee worked it out. Heee heehaaa....
Use the bathroom, because the Porta Potties on the field are gross.
My fault What do we do that enables us to be as great as we are?
I personally think of how Conan started as a writer, then became a...
Hello?
Di? I just called to say that Conan talked about us again last night.
Thanks, Cleo. See you tomorrow.
Bye.
Holy shit.
You just became a statistic!
I'm in, too.
Cleo!
Kansas is right. We're like sisters we're closer than sisters. And you don't turn your back on family.
And you know real cops aren't half as smart as Keanu.
Forget it. I've got a scholarship to Harvard hanging over my head. I won't risk it.
Conan went to Harvard.
Ahh! Baby's got two heads!!!
It's twins!!
Can you guys believe this? We're like celebrities!
Better enjoy it now. 'Cause tomorrow some little kid falls down a well and we're nothing but a distant memory.
Wait! Did you say you are pregnant or you were pregnant... You had it, threw it out and you're gonna go back and dance all night!
Shut up, Cleo. Di, how much do you need for an abortion?
What?!
You pieceashit bug zapper!
I can't believe your grandparents never come down here.
You have three heart attacks and a half dozen strokes and tell me how much you wanna run up and down the stairs. Shit I forgot to pick up the cigarettes.
Who are you the goddamn Bionic Woman?!
I just pulled and it it came off.
This is great GREAT! Now we have to enter the front door!
Look, it's really not my fault.
Hey! Rule number one never take off the mask! Y'hear me! No matter what happens, NEVER TAKE OFF THE MASK!
Sorry, Kansas...
NOGAHBUH NO! Rule number two NO NAMES! NO GODDAMN NAMES, you retard!
Oh for Chrissakes... "White trash Betty." I didn't realize the rules went into effect before we entered Safeway.
Well, use your head, "Stalker Betty."