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Dataset card Data Studio Files
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He'll be a barnacle on your ass the rest of your life.
You got a better offer?
No...
I didn't think so.
Not for somebody who hit a man with his ball on national television.
That's right, Buzz, and you know when I did it? Last match, last frame. All I needed was one spare for the crown and I get stuck with the seventen, the Fazeli Split.
You never even took the shot. You couldn't do it. Theo moves towards Buzz in a threatening manner.
I was beaten on a shot named after my own dad. The moment passes. Theo turns and climbs into his car. He looks up at Buzz.
Look, kid, gimme a break. I'm an old man. I'm runnin' on a Delrin aorta. I'm finished dead from my ankles up.
I couldn't care less.
We ain't married no more.
He says that to all his wives.
The whole world thinks you're underground.
I am underground.
It could just as easily have been me in that box.
I told you to get lost. You forced yourself into this mess, so the mess accommodated you. Buzz straightens out and carefully remolds the bent out of shape halo.
What about bowling?
Bowling died for me years ago. Besides, I'm a living dead legend. I'm a hero.
You're a scumbag.
So, eh, you never saw me. Right?
I never saw you.
Thanks, kid. Where are you goin' now?
I'm goin' straight. No more short cuts. Theo gets into the car. Buzz leans in the open window.
Listen, if straight doesn't work out, you come work for me. Just make sure nobody's following you. Buzz's face is eerily lit by the glow of the sunset, his halo bouncing in the breeze.
I didn't mean that stuff I said. I was trying to keep you out of this muddle. I'm glad I didn't have my tubes tied. Oh, and by the way, I made a call for you before I uh retired. Buzz takes his card and scrawl on the back with a gold pen.
You give Ed Klein of the American Bowling Congress a call. Tell him your Maynard's boy. He's expecting you, and he owes me. He'll getcha back in like Flynn. Don't say I never gave you nothing.
See ya 'round Maynard.
What's on your mind, Miles?
We've been partners a long time now, haven't we Buzz?
Seven years.
This scam we got going here was your
brainstorm, Buzz. I admit, I thought it was a rotten idea, but I put up the scratch. And now we got a beautiful thing.
It's a beautiful thing.
A beautiful thing. And you know why Buzz? You know what we got? Buzz raises an eyebrow as he buttons his shirt.
And look at that; both partners go down together. Kastle shoves the sculpture onto the floor, stands up, and crushes it under his heel. He goes over and puts his arm around Buzz.
Simple math, Buzz. Two plus two does not equal three.
Miles, I've always been on the square with you.
I'm sure you have Buzz.
Wish me luck.
Yeah, and make it extra muddy, I didn't sleep a zee last night. Sheila fills a cup. Buzz lifts it to his mouth, his hands trembling.
You don't need coffee, Mr. Fazeli; you need a vacation. Sheila catches sight of Theo pulling into the parking lot. She puts a Ken head earring in her right ear. Buzz follows Sheila's gaze.
Some people will do anything for an autograph. Theo enters the diner and walks over to Buzz.
Buzz Burger, side of 'cues. You haven't introduced me to your fan.
Sheila, meet...uh... I forget the name.
You look like you're something on the lanes.
Theo's bowled on the tour.
Oh, a professional man. What'll you have?
Hey, ain't I seen you on the tour?
No, pinhead, he ain't here to bowl.
Fazeli...I don't know no Buzz Fazeli.
What do you want with old man Faz?
Yeah, basement bingo.
Lemme see your ball.
Ah, come on, lemme see your ball.
You afraid we're gonna steal it?
Three whips. To go.
When you get a chance.
Hey, you still here?
We're looking for Buzz Fazeli, seen him?
Buzz, Mr. Kastle wants to talk to you.
Are you guys bruddas?
Look, Faz, Mr. Kastle was not his usual charismatic self today when he told us to tell you... What was that he said...?
I remember, Sid! Mr. Kastle says he don't like no sticky fingers in the till.
Pinhead! Don't just blurt it right out.
Your pop said to put these on his tab. Sid gets up and jerks his thumb towards the door.
So Buzz, let's skedaddle. Mr. Kastle is waiting. As Buzz gets up, Theo rises and steps between his father and the two sleazeballs.
Bowling used to be so pure, so...All American. Breeze sings along with Caruso and pretends to conduct.
La da da dalala...
I hate fuckin' opera.
How could you hate opera, Sid? Opera has all the drama and excitement of real life to music!
How do you know, you don't even speak Latin?
You listen to the feelings, not the words.
You got an 8track tape player on purpose, just 'cause you knew the only thing they had on 8track was fuckin' opera.
It was a clearance.
You know, Elvis bowled.
No kiddin'.
Bowling was the most incorruptible sport. No megalomillionaires, no
gambling. And it was a safe place for kids, a place where the whole community could meet for some wholesome, clean fun.
Sure, Sid.
But not no more. Now people take advantage. Bowling ain't what it used to be. There's something evil spreading in this sport like a big, gigantic, puss ridden
canker sore.
Right, eating at the core, eating it's way out. It makes me sick!
How do you turn this thing off?
Wait! That's an aria!
Hello Mr. Kastle. Junior, long time. I thought they locked you up and threw away the warden!
Is it true they blacked out the whole county giving you electroshock? Junior looks from one man to the other, breathing heavily, his nostrils flaring.
Bowling police, step back, give him room.
Nothing going on here, everybody stand back. Let him through, ladies. Ladies, please. As they start to move through the female throng, a little girl pops out in front of them, holding her ball.
Did you know you were parked in the handicap space?
Kastle's daughter's been lookin' for you.
She told us you went after Junior to save your old man's hide. You got some balls goin' after that psycho.
Only problem is, you didn't put his lights out, you just got him mad. Then he took it out on poor Faz, God rest his soul. Theo patches out.
Think he bought it?
I'd buy it!
The Faz sure took care a her. Breeze makes a nasal GRUNT as he tries to suppress a snigger. Sid trying to keep a straight face elbows him. Sid and Breeze approach the coffin. Breeze pulls an orange whip out of a paper bag and carefully places it on the coffin lid.
Nectar of the bowling gods, Faz.
See ya 'round Faz.
Where can I find Buzz Fazeli?
Whoa, cool your maples. Over the bridge, past the Peter Pan, last house on the dead end. Theo releases Sid's hand. Sid drops to his knees and cradles his damaged hand.
Haven't seen a ball like that since '69.