text
stringlengths
0
90
MATT: All righty, that finishes Beau’s turn.
Caleb, you’re up.
SAM: (singing) Lady boner!
MARISHA: I just give a wink.
SAM: Clang!
(laughter)
LIAM: Wow. I have a joke, I’m going to keep it in
my head. This is all going much worse than I
intended it to, so I am going to tug on the glove
and I’m going to slap it and send out three–
SAM: Is that the fly?
MARISHA: Fucking fly!
LIAM: Get him. Beauregard, you’re the monk.
Scorching Ray, three times on the barbarian. First
one is shit.
MATT: Well, technically, you don’t have advantage.
It’s advantage on melee attacks, not ranged
attacks, but it’s fine.
LIAM: Second is a 15. First is total shit, second
is a 15.
MATT: 15 hits.
LIAM: Third is better than that.
MATT: So two hits.
LIAM: That is eight for the first and eight for
the second.
MATT: Nice! Oof. That’ll be enough. How do you
want to do this, Caleb?
MARISHA: Yes!
LIAM: I have had very bad luck with people’s
skulls, so I am going to send the fire into her
thighs and legs and burn the bottom of her torso
and even the center of her being, her stomach, and
make it burn in upon itself and harden in
blackened crust.
SAM: Ugh!
MATT: She screams out in pain, the flesh itself
burning black instantly and cracking as she falls
to the ground screaming. The voice slowly thins
out into a faint (death rattle) before expiring.
Need you to make a wisdom saving throw, Caleb.
SAM: Wisdom saving– oh, because fire.
LIAM: That’s a 13.
MATT: 13. You take a moment, and push through, and
keep your wits about you.
LIAM: That’s the first time I did that. First time
I did not go into a state.
SAM: Wow.
LIAM: (breathing heavily)
MARISHA: Beau turns around to Caleb and goes:
Damn, Caleb.
MATT: The firecrackers have ended. Silence comes
over the fortress.
SAM: Nobody else is coming?
MATT: None that you see or hear.
LIAM: Stay alert. We’re not done here.
SAM: Go back to lock-a-pickin’?
MATT: Go for it.
TALIESIN: I’m going to walk over to you and give
you some healing.