text
stringlengths
0
90
MARISHA: Wow.
MATT: “We twist the arm of the unjust, until they
spill their mysteries. We are the spies. We are
the hunters. We are the watchmen to those who
rule. We are not kind. We are forthright. We are
truth. Do you, Beauregard, want to see the truths
of the world?”
MARISHA: Oh god, I’m sorry. I have this burn in my
butt from all the smoke you just blew up my ass.
It’s just, oh god. Is that a magical talent?
MATT: What’s your armor class?
MARISHA: 17.
MATT: You suffer ten points of bludgeoning damage
as, out of nowhere, her fist hits you right across
the side of your face.
MARISHA: It takes me to the ground. That takes me
to the ground.
MATT: You’re unconscious?
MARISHA: No, just takes me to the ground.
MATT: Okay. “Are you listening now?”
MARISHA: Do I have a choice?
MATT: “Let me be your teacher.”
MARISHA: Oh, boy. Is that what I have to look
forward to?
MATT: “No. What do you want to do now, that that’s
happened?”
MARISHA: I kind of want to fucking punch you
back.
MATT: “Then do it.”
“What’s stopping you?”
MARISHA: Now you have my attention. And I fucking
punch her in the face!
MATT: Go for it. Roll for an attack.
MARISHA: Just a straight unarmed, right?
MATT: Yep.
MARISHA: 12 total, not good.
MATT: She dodges out of the way, and as you move
past, plucks you in the back of the head with a
knuckle. That hits. You take one point of
bludgeoning damage. It’s a very light tap.
MARISHA: Ow! What the fuck, my dad used to do that
type of shit.
MATT: With that, she rushes around with a rapid
pace to the front of you, feints with an upper
cut, and then goes to elbow you in the side of the
head. That is a 16. What’s your armor class?
MARISHA: That misses. 17.
MATT: Misses. You manage to duck out of the way of
it. She goes, “Good. Good.”
MARISHA: I got to add some points here.
MATT: Okay. She’s going to go ahead and use her
bonus action to go into a defensive stance.
“Come on.”
MARISHA: (yells) I’m going to spend a ki point,
and go into Flurry of Blows, and do a blind
haymaker, a second blind haymaker, and then try
and backhand with the third. Wildly, recklessly.
Okay, first one. Natural 20!
MATT: Oh, shit!
MARISHA: Second one. Natural 20!