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CriticalRoleTranscripts

Dataset card Data Studio Files
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MATT: Two natural 20s in a row!
MARISHA: I don’t have anyone sitting next to me to
confirm this, but I swear it’s a natural 20!
MATT: No, I can see it!
MARISHA: I’ll take a picture if I have to! A
natural 17.
MATT: Roll damage on those first two!
MARISHA: Okay. You double the dice, right?
MATT: Yeah. Roll the dice, double it.
MARISHA: Okay. That was a three, a two, so five,
ten plus eight. 18.
MATT: 18 points of damage. Then the third strike
that hit?
MARISHA: One, so another five points. God
fucking– Thinking of my dad, after she just went
“boop,” something just popping the back of my
head.
MATT: You watch as her defensive stance, she’s
prepared for it, and as you go to swing, she lets
it down at the last second, and lets you get some
hits in. Wham, wham! But much stronger than she
expected. The first one clocks her across the
chin. The other one hits her across the temple.
The last one–
MARISHA: Just a wild backhand.
MATT: Just hits her in the back of the head. She
stumbles for a second, then spins around. You can
see a bit of blood trickling out of the corner of
her mouth, and there’s a little bit of a scrape of
dirt on the side her head where you hit. She turns
around. “Very good. You have learned some things
in your time.” She quickly advances on you. Hits.
18, hits. Okay. You take three points of
bludgeoning damage, one per hit. Pop! Pop pop! She
is basically going full in with the strike, and is
just prodding you with these gentle little hits,
showing control, showing that she’s entirely able
to overwhelm you, and she’s hitting different
places on your body, strategically. Because with
each hit, you feel this burst of numbness in those
vicinities. I need you to make a constitution
saving throw.
MARISHA: Not great. That’s a natural seven, so ten
total.
MATT: Okay. After each hit, you gather yourself
for a second, she stops and goes, “You are quick,
and there is intelligence lying in there. You are
also quite nimble at dodging blows. Do you see,
with but a few simple strikes, I’m able to extract
from you everything I need to know about you.”
MARISHA: What the fuck, why can’t I feel my hand?
What did you do?
MATT: “You see, brute force has its place. But
precision, and intent. That can take down the
greatest of mountains, by poking the weakest
point. Now, I know where your weak points are.”
MARISHA: You don’t know shit about me, bitch. I’m
going to take another attack.
MATT: Go for it.
MARISHA: That’s a three. That’s a nine.
MATT: Nope. With each miss, or, the first miss,
she’s going to use a reaction to attack you.
That’s going to be– She can do that. Ducks out of