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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
I mean, you're making it sound like certain people
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
are just genetically able to in certain.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
I do think some people are more apt to being able to deal
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
with like adversity and having resilience
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
and some people just can't hack it.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
But like I generally, what I would advise,
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
you know, people that are, let's say a guy's playing,
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
you know, really high stakes or whatever,
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
doing badly is step number one is take,
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
take a little bit of a break here.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
Let's recalibrate and let's start small again.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
Let's, you know, let's restart
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
and let's play smaller stakes
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
and let's get our confidence back because in poker,
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
without confidence, you cannot be successful.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
It is incredibly important to have almost an inflated level
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
of confidence in yourself
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
because you're up against it, right?
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
As I said, the majority of people fail.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
So why are you special?
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
Why are you different?
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
You have to be pretty confident about your, you know,
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
yourself to think that you are one of the chosen ones.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
And then don't resist the despair and take a nap.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
Definitely take a nap.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
Listen, it's okay to experience it.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
Like I said, yeah, you're going to experience despair.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
What else would you, what should you be feeling?
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
You know, if things are going poorly
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
and you've just lost all your money, excited?
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
Maybe like, okay, have your moment of grief,
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
allow yourself to experience it so that you can,
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
you know, reassemble.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
There's a fundamental way
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
in which you haven't really lived life
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
if you haven't experienced periods of despair.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
You have a jaded view of the world, right?
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
Weird thing about the human condition
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
that both the highs and the lows are important.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
Yeah.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
What role does love play in the human condition,
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
Daniel Negrano?
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
That's a good one.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
What role has love played in your life?
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
It's, yeah, that's, you know,
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
you sort of talked about the ups and downs
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
of the human condition and love has been that for me, right?
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
Like I'm in a good place now,
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
but you know, even with my now wife years ago,
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
you know, she was young, she was, you know, new to poker
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
and she wasn't ready to settle down.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
I was like, when I met her, I think I was 31, she was 21.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
And I was ready to like lock her up, if you will, you know,
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
let's do this.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
And I bought a ring way back when she was like,
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
not about that.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
She was living the Hollywood life.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
She was living, you know, partying in LA,
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
doing that kind of stuff and wasn't ready.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
And we split and that one hit me hard.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
So I didn't realize how much of a hit
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
that had on my confidence in my, in everything really,
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
in poker, with other women.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
It had me a little jaded about women too, you know,
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
resentful, you know, and it took a lot of like self,
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
I did like a lot of personal growth work
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
and workshops and things like that.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
And then didn't see her for years.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
And she came back to town, I was a much different person.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
It was just, you know, four years ago or something like that.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
And she was too, went to dinner.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
A few months later, we were married.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
It worked out so different because we both had to grow,
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
you know, and become different people.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
And that love was still there somehow.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
Yeah, like she went through her relationships.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
I went through mine, you know, we experienced life
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
and I was married once before too, you know,
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
called my starter marriage, if you will,
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
which yeah, you know, we just, you don't know.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
I think like until you do it, until you get married
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
and you know, experience like the sacrifice,
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
not necessarily the sacrifices, but your value systems,
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
if they don't align identically,
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
which they're not going to, someone like me,
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
probably one of my strengths in poker,
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
but my weaknesses in relationship is judgment, right?
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
When I play poker, I need to judge you.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
That's essentially what I'm doing.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
I'm gauging who you are and what you're good at
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
and what you're bad at.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
And that can have repercussions because it leads,
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
that's how I view, that's the lens I look at everyone with
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
based on how you live your life.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
I'm judging you, this guy's this, this guy's that,
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
this guy's that, and that's not healthy.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
So you have to shut that off.
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
You have to learn to like, and the thing,
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
I finally realized what love is, frankly for me,
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Daniel Negreanu: Poker | Lex Fridman Podcast #324
with her is no judgment, right?
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