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`` 'night . '' | [
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`` goodnight . '' | [
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i walk back upstairs with the phone number burning a hole in my pocket . | [
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it 's amazing to me that i 've gone from being almost sure that pierce is lying , to feeling like i 've betrayed his trust in the span of one short conversation with him . | [
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is he telling the truth , or does he just possess a consummate politician 's ability to spin the story for himself ? | [
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i get ready for bed slowly , my mind wandering uncontrollably . | [
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before this summer , i felt sure of things in my life . | [
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sure of my ideas and opinions . | [
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sure that i was right . | [
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but i feel less and less sure of myself the longer i stay in this house . | [
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just as i finish brushing my teeth , i hear a thud from the hallway , then a groan . | [
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that sounded like nate . | [
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with a frown , i open my bedroom door . | [
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sure enough , there 's nate , lying on the carpet just outside his own room . | [
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i hesitate , realizing i 'm wearing my little nightgown , but figure he 's seen me in it already . | [
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`` nate ? | [
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are you ok ? | [
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what happened ? '' | [
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i murmur , hurrying to kneel next to him . | [
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the whiff of alcohol coming off of him gives it away before he says anything . | [
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`` i 'm so drunk , brynn , '' he says , beginning to laugh . | [
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`` shhh , you 'll wake up our parents , '' i admonish him . | [
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`` why are you on the floor ? '' | [
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`` tripped . | [
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on my own foot , '' he replies with a sigh . | [
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`` well , come on , get up , '' i order him , sliding a hand under his torso to pull him upward . | [
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he slowly obeys and stands on his feet , where he sways dangerously . | [
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`` ok , now in here , '' i continue , pushing his bedroom door open with my foot as i slide an arm around his back to stabilize him . | [
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i feel his muscles clench under his t-shirt as we walk . | [
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not the time , brynn . | [
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`` shoes off , '' i order him as we reach the bed . | [
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`` mmm , '' he grunts , as he kicks them off . | [
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`` i 'm getting you some water . | [
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do n't move . '' | [
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i hurry back to my bedroom and grab my water glass from the bedside table , then refill it from the tap in my bathroom before heading back to his room . | [
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i shut the door behind me to keep the noise from filtering around the house , then stop in surprise as i see that nate has stripped down to his boxers and is standing at the foot of his bed . | [
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`` thanks , '' he slurs , as i hesitantly walk forward and hand him the water . | [
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i watch him gulp the whole glass down , the grey moonlight from the window illuminating his ripped torso . | [
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he puts the glass down on his desk and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand as he sways slightly . | [
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`` you alright ? '' | [
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i ask worriedly . | [
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`` i 've never seen you drunk before . '' | [
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`` do n't really drink . | [
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no time . | [
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102
] | [
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work , practice , work , game . '' | [
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] | [
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`` and i thought i was the nerd , '' i tease him . | [
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`` you 're funny , '' he says , cocking his head slightly , then takes a step toward me . | [
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`` nate ... '' i say as my core clenches . | [
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`` yes , brynn ? '' | [
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he asks innocently . | [
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`` you said this was wrong . | [
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2056,
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] | [
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those were your words , '' i remind him . | [
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`` do you think it 's wrong ? '' | [
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he takes another step toward me , and looks down at me . | [
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] |
`` i- '' his hand reaches around my waist . | [
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] |
`` does it feel wrong ? '' | [
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1036,
1036,
2515,
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2514,
3308,
1029,
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] | [
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`` yes ... no , '' i breathe . | [
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i barely have time to inhale before his mouth is on mine . | [
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his mouth tastes like whiskey , but i do n't care . | [
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i wrap my hands around his neck and he grabs my ass with both hands , our kiss picking up right where our last one broke off . | [
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i dig my fingers into his hair as our mouths open to one another . | [
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he pulls me roughly against him and groans deep in his throat as our bodies collide . | [
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suddenly he stumbles back , steadying himself on my shoulders . | [
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3402,
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21811,
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2067,
1010,
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] |
`` sorry , '' he whispers , shaking his head as though to clear it . | [
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1005,
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1010,
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] |
`` will you just stay with me for a while ? '' | [
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] |
`` yes , of course , '' i reply immediately , even though i 'm taken aback by his request . | [
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i watch him turn to his bed and crawl over to his pillow , then curl up on his side and look at me expectantly . | [
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2010,
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i pause , then follow him , crawling across the bedspread and curling around his back . | [
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i bury my head between his shoulder blades then drape my arm over his waist , and feel him take my hand in his and pull me closer against him . | [
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i lie as still as i can , barely breathing . | [
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i ca n't believe he 's letting me touch him like this . | [
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well , he is wasted , but still . | [
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i never thought he 'd be so vulnerable around me . | [
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i hear his breathing deepen . | [
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`` i 've always looked up to him , '' he murmurs , startling me . | [
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`` i know , '' i whisper back , knowing that he 's talking about his dad . | [
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`` i do n't know what i would do if he- '' `` i know , '' i murmur , softly kissing the back of his neck . | [
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he stills on his pillow , and his breathing slows down again . | [
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i stay with him for a while , until i know he 's asleep . | [
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i need to understand nate 's feelings about his mother before i tell him what she told me . | [
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his world is already falling apart around him , and i do n't want to make it happen faster . | [
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i sigh . | [
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i should probably go back to my room . | [
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i turn over with a sigh and frown . | [
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my sheets feel different , and the light coming in from the window is much too bright . | [
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i blink my eyes open and then sit up with a gasp . | [
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i 'm in nate 's room . | [
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`` it 's ok. '' i glance up to see nate sitting at his desk with a glass of water , his tousled hair sticking out at odd angles . | [
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`` they left early this morning for meetings . | [
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your door is closed , so they thought you were still asleep in there . '' | [
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`` oh , good , '' i reply . | [
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i realize my nightgown is riding dangerously high on my thigh and pull up the sheet self-consciously . | [
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`` coffee , '' nate says , pointing to the bedside table next to me . | [
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i glance over and see he 's placed a steaming cup there . | [
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`` cream and one sugar , right ? '' | [
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`` yeah , thanks , '' i reply , reaching for it . | [
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`` sorry about last night . | [
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i do n't remember anything after i got home . '' | [
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i smile even though i 'm disappointed that he does n't remember the kiss . | [
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0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` you were drunk , and just asked me to stay here for a bit . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2017,
2020,
7144,
1010,
1998,
2074,
2356,
2033,
2000,
2994,
2182,
2005,
1037,
2978,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |