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"I know. You didn't force my hand. None of you did. I was happy. I would have been happy even if I hadn't been brought back. Whatever that led to." |
"You didn't deserve death for any of that. I need you to know that. I would have accepted you either way. I would have understood that you had no choice." Astarion insisted. |
Ariat smiled, "I know...but I need you to know. You didn't lead me astray. You didn't lie to me. You told me the truth and I chose to follow it...and now, I'm free. You helped free me." His smile widened more. |
Astarion backed up a step, "What do you mean?" |
Ariat chuckled, "It's gone, Astarion! The Urge...it's gone! There's nothing pushing me to do anything, I'm just me...for the first time ever. I mean...there's still the tadpole but...that I can deal with. Honestly, I kind of like it. I think I'll even be a bit sad when it's gone...I've never been alone in my head befor... |
Astarion shook his head, "...I watched you die...I couldn't do anything to save you..." |
"There's nothing you could have done...it's ok. I'm ok. Better than ok. I promise. No more struggle. No more fearing I'll lose control and hurt someone. I'm. Free." Ariat reassured him as he stood up, putting a hand on his shoulder. |
Astarion just took a deep breath and let it out with a slow nod, letting out all of the confusing jumble of emotions he'd just dealt with. He chuckled slightly and then shook his head, "Gods, the others...wait til-" |
There was a cry from the entrance of the barn that interrupted them, and Ariat barely had time to turn before Shadowheart leapt into his arms, her arms locking around his neck as she held him desperately. Ariat held her back and tried to reassure her, comfort her as she cried into his neck...pulling back only enough to... |
"Don't you ever! Do that again!" Was the most Astarion was able to make out and then he was suddenly backing up more as a much larger form was pushing into the barn, Halsin wrapping the two of them in a giant hug. He was crying too but judging by the huge smile on his face his were more obviously tears of joy. |
For a brief moment Astarion wished he was in that hug with them...but he could settle for just being there instead. |
They were here...and somehow, miraculously...they were all still alive. Defying the Gods themselves. |
The future was looking brighter already. |
...Gods...being a hero was exhausting... |
Ariat stared up at the stone faces of the Gods whose altars were housed in Stormshore Tabernacle...much as he had done many lonely days and nights since the Elder Brain had been defeated. He left offerings for the Moon Maiden every time he came but if he had to be honest...he felt nothing in the act...nor was he sure h... |
He didn't want a God...or Goddess. Not again. Not yet. |
That wasn't the kind of connection he needed. |
There was no love lost between himself and Shadowheart...or at least there was none lost on his end. Yet he knew the loss of their bond rested solely on his shoulders regardless. Or if no one was to blame...he couldn't put it on her certainly. Not fully. |
She had her troubles. With everything she had been through of course she did. He understood that. What he didn't fully understand was the space she had wedged between them because of it. |
The worst thing was that he couldn't properly convey it to her which made it worse. He knew why, but knowing the cause did not bring about the solution. |
Simply put...he hadn't weathered the death of his Tadpole as well as the others had. The others could just go back to their lives as they had been, none the worse for it, perhaps even stronger without it. Without his tadpole however, Ariat found himself foundering. |
It had begun with headaches, not unlike the ones he'd had after he'd woken up on the Nautiloid. Thankfully not accompanied by any murderous urges this time but no less unpleasant. Then, nosebleeds, though nothing alarming beyond the fact it was happening at all. The worst of it couldn't be seen on the outside. It was a... |
He'd never been very good at expressing himself...and he had a pretty good idea that who he'd been before Orin had put holes in his brain hadn't felt anything at all, but now...something was in the way. It wasn't that he couldn't feel. Nothing like that. He felt it all fine...maybe better than fine. It was all so inten... |
Expressing any of it was. |
Trying to access what he felt and actually convey any of it...was like...pushing through some barrier. Like he was viewing it all through a pane of clouded glass that was becoming cloudier as time went by. He didn't know how to tell anyone this...or what they could even do about it if he did. |
He thought of Shadowheart asking him to leave and he wanted to scream, cry, anything... |
...and instead, he just stood here, looking as calm as could be in a house full of unfeeling unsympathetic stone statues. |
That was the worst of it, but it wasn't the only thing. The right side of his body had grown weaker, subtly at first but now it was noticeable in the slight limp to his steps and the tremor in his hand. Some days he would wake to a tingling burn in his affected extremities, but it would fade and he'd be back to normal.... |
Nothing bad enough to limit his freedom thankfully but...fear of what it could mean had sent him looking for help in places he knew could get him in trouble. |
The scandal if anyone in Baldur's Gate learned their new Hero was having secret meetings in the Underdark with an Illithid...but Ariat could think of no one else more capable of addressing his fears outside of Omeluum. Unfortunately, it had been able to do nothing beyond confirming what he already assumed. |
What Orin had done to him had significantly damaged his brain and had he been a normal mortal he would have died there...instead she had left his body at the mercy of his Bhaalspawn blood. Had she not also implanted him with a tadpole...it was unlikely he would have ever recovered. He would have been a mindless slave t... |
But she had given him the Tadpole and that Tadpole had repaired his brain until, finally, he had managed to wake up again as his current self. It simply hadn't been able to fix everything...so...it had bridged the gaps. Filled in where his own brain had been lacking. |
Now the Tadpole was gone...and he was suffering the consequences of its loss, and the full weight of his damaged mind. The fact he hadn't simply fallen over dead without it was somewhat of a surprise...apparently and Omeluum had had to inspect him to confirm that his brain had somehow been restored more from the state ... |
He sighed and turned to leave the Tabernacle, ignoring the judging glare of another patron when he forwent his usual offering. He almost thought he could feel the weight of their thoughts like a buzz in his own mind, but he chalked that up to his own imagination or just more effects of his brain damage. It had been hap... |
It had been oddly...reluctant to comment on that part at all really. Ariat figured it just hadn't been willing to give him yet more bad news. Omeluum still seemed to feel so bad about not being able to help him the first time he'd tried. |
The sun was setting, it had already passed below the edges of the buildings now though he didn't think much of the deepening shadows about him. |
All of it aside, he'd be fine with it...if he just didn't feel so very lonely. |
He had Shadowheart...except when he didn't...and those times had become more and more often than he liked to think about. |
Duke Ravengard had been the one to get him settled within the city, allowing him to work to repair the damage his past self had brought about. He owed it to him after all, for his life and the freedom of his son. Favors owed were just that, however. He couldn't say they were friends in any way. |
Karlach and Wyll had left for Avernus...and last he'd heard they'd taken up residence in the House of Hope as they hunted Mizora and fought Zariels various minions. It was good to know that they had a safe haven to shelter within at least...and that Hope had guardians to ensure no new Devils tried to move in. Sadly, up... |
He'd heard nothing from Lae'zel since she had left with her people to wage the war against Vlakith. They had never been very close but...still...it would be nice to know if things were going well for her. |
Gale kept in touch...though typically only to touch bases on where they were in trying to locate the Crown of Karsus. He had...admittedly not put much effort into the search...if only because he felt that once it was over Gale would just disappear completely from his life. |
They all had lives to go back to, didn’t they? |
Their lives hadn't begun in the bowels of that Illithid ship. |
More and more he wondered if he should leave the city and track down Halsin. They hadn't parted on any bad terms at least...and maybe he just wasn't meant for the city anymore...maybe he needed a new life for himself instead of trying to force himself into the remains of the one he'd left behind him. |
As if he deserved that kind of peace yet... |
No, someday perhaps, but not yet. Even if he missed the druid terribly... |
If he was truly honest with himself, the one thing that surprised, and disturbed, him most in the aftermath of their adventures...it was that he had heard and seen nothing of Astarion since he'd last been seen fleeing the sun on the docks. |
He'd thought their friendship was stronger than that... |
He sometimes found himself fearing that Astarion hadn't survived it at all...and the thought made his heart twist. What if the sun had been too much for him? What if he hadn't found shelter fast enough? What if they'd been celebrating while Astarions ashes had been blowing in the wind? |
He was walking without real direction, lost in thought, when he felt that odd buzzing tingle in his head again. It made him slow and address his surroundings for the first time. Night had fallen and the alley he was walking down seemed unoccupied...then something hit him hard from behind. |
He barely had time to realize someone had tackled him to the ground and was fighting to keep himself from being pinned by whoever it was when someone else cloaked in black darted out ahead of him. Something struck his head and his world whited out briefly. When he came back to his senses, a high ringing in his ears, he... |
He growled under his breath and struggled to pull himself free and felt hands gripping his arms and wrists, holding them out and down even as he fought to twist them free. His head was clearing, and magic gathered in the air around him, coming to his call...if he could just direct it properly. |
"Keep his hands down you fools! Do you want to burn?!" The person holding him down from behind hissed. |
They knew...they knew who he was. They had to. Who?! Why?! |
"Break them if you have to, I don't care!" |
He made to pull his hands free again but the one holding his weakened arm twisted and he felt and heard the bones in his hands snapping like twigs. He screamed and a hand clamped over his mouth. |
"Shut it, traitor." That voice hissed again, lips brushing against the pointed tip of his ear. |
His eyes widened and he strained them trying to look at the person talking. He recognized the voice now...some forgotten deep part of himself knew who this was even if he couldn't bring to mind a name or even a face to match it. |
There was only one explanation for this. |
They were Bhaalists. Had to be. |
"You're supposed to be dead, little spawnling. Little mistake. Bled dry like a pig for slaughter. Imagine our surprise...to see this dead body of yours up and walking about like it didn't betray every person it owed its worthless existence to." the voice continued. |
He shook his head and tried to wiggle free though he didn't make much progress and the effort shot pain up his body from his destroyed hands as they were pressed into the cobble stones by his captors. |
A hand twisted in his hair and slammed his face forward roughly. His face was pushed painfully into the ground as they tugged upward and suddenly, he felt something pressed into the soft spot behind his ear. Something sharp. |
He froze, his whole body going perfectly still in reaction and white noise filled his head at the feeling of what had to be the tip of a dagger pricking into the scar tissue. |
"Yeah, you feel that? Don't worry...we won't leave you like Orin did. Maybe we'll finish the job proper...or...maybe we'll make sure you stay in your place this time, a brainless little slave. Or maybe not." |
He felt them tense and pressed his eyes closed, thinking for sure that he was about to die. The blood of a god no longer flowed through his veins. There was no way he'd survive it this time. |
There was a high-pitched whining sound, a thud, and suddenly the body pinning him down slumped over him, the dagger jerking away from his head as its owner jerked. His hands were released, and the other two cultists cried out only for their voices to cut off in choked gurgles. Blood splashed against his face and Ariat ... |
Bodies slumped to the ground and Ariat pushed himself out from under the one on top of him slowly, painfully, using his elbows instead of his hands. He made it to his knees before he glanced around and saw two very dead cultists. One of them, the one who had to have been holding him prone, had an arrow through their he... |
"Lovely as you are on your knees, Darling, it's really not the most flattering look for you." |
The voice, unmistakable, came from behind him and Ariat spun around, ending up falling back without his hands to prop himself up. He stared at the familiar pale elf in shock as he stood in the flickering lamp light. |
Astarion's eyebrows flicked up and he looked faintly amused, "...I did make it in time, I hope...you haven't forgotten me, have you? Brains still intact...as much as they ever have been?" |
"Astarion...?" Ariat gasped as he slowly climbed back to his feet. |
"Well, yes, of course it's me. Who else would be saving your sorry self in a very unsafe back alley after dark...I mean...really?...I would think you would know better-" |
Ariat cut him off by simply walking up and hugging him. |
Astarion stiffened, went silent, and didn't return the hug right away, but this didn't stop Ariat from just holding him tighter...and...slowly his arms came up to pat him on the back. |
"Yes, yes, ok..." Astarion cleared his throat, "You're welcome." |
Ariat pulled back, "Oh, for Gods sake, Astarion...I thought you were dead!" |
Astarion looked surprised, "Dead? Why...whyever for?" |
"I...the sun..." Ariat looked stressed, or he thought he did anyway...he'd been told often that his face didn't emote as much as he thought it did, as he tried to think of what to say in the wake of what had just happened. His brain was still trying to process, and a throbbing headache was making itself known behind hi... |
"Oh! That. Please, it'll take more than a little accidental sun to do me in." he paused, and his expression warmed as he studied Ariat, "...you really were concerned for me..." |
Ariat blinked and tried to make a motion of frustrated exasperation, hampered by his injuries, "Of course I was! You just...disappeared!" |
Astarion made a tsk sound with his teeth, "...you all had your lives to get on with...far be it for me to get in the way of it." |
"You're my friend...you're not in the way of my life...you're part of it- ah..." Ariat stopped and cradled his hands against his chest with a hiss, the pain was starting to make itself more known as his adrenaline faded. Pulsing in time with his heart up his arms and he looked down at his twisted fingers helplessly. |
For a moment the look of haughty indifference slipped from Astarions face, and he let his real emotions shine through then he shook his head and stepped forward to gently reach for Ariat's hands, "They really did a number on you..." he said, regret in his voice. |
Ariat grimaced, "They'll heal." he said through gritted teeth. |
That buzzing tingle brushed his mind again...and grew into a much more familiar feeling...a feeling that shouldn't have existed anymore. |
His head snapped up and he saw the third cultist suddenly springing up behind Astarion, dagger raised, as if it was happening in slow motion. He reacted instinctively, that tingling burn in his mind snapping into sharp focus on the cultist. The air around them wavered and an intense pulse of energy hit the cultist and ... |
The tingle abruptly left and he found himself staggering as his feet hit the stone...never having noticed when they left it. |
Astarion was staring at the body with wide eyes before he turned back to Ariat,"...did...did you just...?!" |
Ariat blinked his eyes rapidly, his vision blurring at the sudden intense headache that hit him, "I..." |
He felt something warm running down his face and reached up to find blood dripping from his nose. He swallowed hard and looked at the body then back to Astarion, "...uh...I don't..." |
A wave of vertigo hit him and Astarion had to catch him before he hit the stone, "Woah...ok...uh, lets, get you...somewhere, but you are going to tell me everything." he said as he looped one of his arms over his shoulders. |
The dizziness faded and Ariat turned his head and smiled at him wanly, "I'm...really glad you came back..." |
Astarion gave him an odd look and rolled his eyes, "Ok, worm brain, whatever you say..." he muttered and began walking them back to Ariat's home. |
It wasn't until they were just outside of it that Ariat noticed and he frowned, "...you've been around this entire time...haven't you..." |
Astarion just gave him a sidelong look and then shrugged. He started to sit him down on the steps outside, but Ariat resisted, "...stay." |
Astarion paused and looked conflicted, "Ariat...I can't...go in..." |
Ariat shook his head, "Yes, I know...but I'm asking you to stay...I'm inviting you." |
Astarion's eyes widened slightly, "You're serious..." |
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