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"I’m yours now." The words were a slurred mumble, the crash coming on all at once to pull him into reverie, sped along by the soft motion of fingers carding through his hair. "Ehmtua. I belong to you. Thank you." |
"You are welcome, Ashenivir." |
Even after Ashenivir had fallen deep into reverie, Rizeth didn’t move. He sat there and stroked his hair and prayed that he hadn’t picked up on the unchecked emotions Rizeth had been powerless to keep locked away during the telepathic bond. |
He’d known Rary’s was a risk, but it had been far more intense than he had anticipated. The power of the marking had spun his modified spell into something far stronger than he’d intended, and towards the end he’d almost lost himself, hadn’t known which thoughts were his and which Ashenivir’s. It was gone now, though, ... |
Rizeth stared at the mark, still faintly glowing as the magic settled. He had to keep him here tonight, make certain the marking took properly, that there were no unforeseen side-effects, that he hadn’t made any errors in his casting. It was his responsibility to ensure Ashenivir recovered properly. That he was safe. |
It was beautiful, as Ashenivir had said. Perfect pale lines in deep violet skin, clear and precise. Looking at it made his heart ache. |
And you’re still planning to leave? After this? |
"I have to," he murmured. Ashenivir didn’t stir at the sound of his voice, too deep in reverie. Rizeth squeezed his hand, their fingers entwined as their minds had so recently been. "He cannot serve me and his Matron." |
The way Ashenivir spoke of Matron Illiavra, she was not the kind to endure such split loyalty. He’d never met her and already he disliked the woman—she seemed to care more about the appearance and power of her family than the children who formed it. Three times he’d had Ashenivir in tears and anguish because of the thi... |
I’m his Master, I’m supposed to keep him safe. How could he do that if he was on the surface, if Ashenivir was gone from him, if... |
He could do nothing, regardless of where he was. Ashenivir’s Matron could act as she wished; he had no right to start interfering in another family’s business. |
I don’t want it to be over. |
The thought kept resurfacing, an echo, a remnant. Which of them had thought it? Was it a longing for the spell to remain, to hold on to the intoxicating closeness of the merging of minds? It might just as easily have been Ashenivir’s simple wish to stay at the Arcanum, for Rizeth knew he still wanted to. More likely it... |
Unless...did Ashenivir have that same longing for him? Was that what he had felt? |
"Don’t be foolish, Rizeth," he muttered. Ashenivir stirred slightly in his lap and Rizeth resumed stroking his hair where his hand had stilled, soothing him back down into reverie. "You’re just projecting." |
Why not ask him to come with you when you go? |
The insidious little thought was painfully tempting. He couldn’t do that, he absolutely could not. |
You could. He knows he can say no to you if he doesn’t want something. He can’t refuse his Matron, but with you he knows he has a choice. You can let him choose. |
Ashenivir had already made a choice, had come to the Arcanum with it made, his future set in stone as far as he and his Matron were concerned. And he wouldn’t say yes, anyway. |
Or would he? He might, he might say yes, might come with him, even if only for a short while, and then— |
And then what? Have him for a few more months, a year if he was lucky? Then lose him again and do this again? |
Rizeth gazed at his handiwork, his design now permanently etched into Ashenivir’s skin. He had no such visible brand upon himself, yet he didn’t need one—Ashenivir would never know how deeply he’d etched himself into Rizeth’s life. It was wretched to have the thing he wanted right in front of him and know he couldn’t h... |
He sighed. Ashenivir was marked now, he couldn’t undo it. He would graduate next month, Rizeth would go to the surface, and that would be the end of it. The past four years would remain as good memories, and he would let Ashenivir go. Because if he tried to make more of their relationship than what it was, he would des... |
In a cavern in the deepest dark of Faerûn, there is an underground tomb. Encased in twenty feet of dirt, poured from adamantine, it is virtually impenetrable. Astarion does not visit, nor does anyone else. He is the only one who knows its location. Tav waits inside, where he placed her. |
"Astarion, please," Tav begged. She clutched at the hem of his robe, desperation cracking her voice and rocks scuffing her knees. "Gods below, you can’t do this!" |
"Oh my pet," Astarion purred, not meeting her eyes. "I can do anything I want." His hand whipped like a lash and pulled Tav up by the chin. She winced in pain and fear as she stared, panicked, into those ruby eyes. Once they had been soft, loving even. Now they were hard as diamonds and no longer precious. A sneer flic... |
"You just need a reminder that you, darling, cannot." The tomb’s lid slid into place with a wave of his hand, and Tav’s scream was swallowed by the dark. |
How long had it been, she wondered. It could have been tendays or years, she would never know; there was no way to keep track. She couldn’t even scratch the surface surrounding her. At first she had tried to keep track by scratching jagged cuts on her skin, but she soon realized in the complete and utter darkness there... |
How had it come to be this way? So much had changed. Astarion, her love, light of her life. She simply hadn’t wanted him to go back into the dark. She loved him, and as he begged her to help him she could make no other choice. He will still be Astarion, just stronger, she’d thought. How foolish she was. |
She had been his spawn, his dark consort, for 50 years. He was not like Cazador. He let the light pour in. His spawn could walk in the sunlight as he did - only those he chose, of course. The rest toiled in the bowels of his palace. He hosted grand parties and galas where no one died (at least, no one of consequence ... |
Tav had gone along, for a while. She played her part on bended knee, though a heavy unease settled in her gut. She had watched, all those years ago, as the man she loved changed in an instant. She thought, perhaps, that it was temporary. Maybe he would settle into his new power and with the gentle guidance she’d always... |
Tav fought the urge to sigh. She’d run out of air long ago, though she didn’t need it to live. Every muscle and tendon in her body ached from laying still for so long. She had no room to turn or pull up her knees. But worst, she was starving. The hunger pangs twisted her gut into knots, made her half-crazed. If she eve... |
Lae’zel, pride of the githyanki, the first mortal queen they’d ever had. She sent armies to Astarion’s door at the beginning, hoping to rescue Tav. When they never returned, she knew she couldn’t keep sending her people to slaughter. Tav knew many of them were spawn now. |
Shadowheart, High Priestess of Selûne, also attempted at varied times to rescue Tav, but the light had no effect on Astarion and her efforts proved fruitless. He sent wolves after her in obscene number - she had to be cloistered within an impenetrable church for the better part of a decade while she recovered from the ... |
Wyll and Karlach, Tav knew, could not return to Faerûn. They tried, once, but Karlach burned so hot despite her tune-ups that she set a forest fire that burned half of the Sword Coast over the course of many months. Astarion put an end to the burning (once he’d leveraged it in his favor) much to the singing praises of ... |
Gale... A tear slid from Tav’s eye. How different things might have been if she’d chosen him over Astarion. He’d left after the defeat of the Absolute to reforge the Crown of Karsus. She could not convince him to stay. It was, perhaps, one of her deepest regrets. She had not heard of him, seen him, or had any sign he w... |
"Gale..." The sound of her own voice startled Tav from her reverie. She hadn’t heard it since the screaming, then the pleading, the bargaining and reasoning to no one. It was a twisted visage of what it had once been, when she had entertained and rallied, made speeches and influenced the lives of those around her. It ... |
But it was enough. |
She felt suddenly weightless, as though dead, and for a moment she had hope that a vampire spawn could die from hunger. A blinding whiteness surrounded her, such that she could no more see than when she had been surrounded by black. Disoriented, she thrashed violently, looking for the source of the disruption. She ... |
"How can I help?" |
"Why would you flee, darling? I have given you everything, as you have done for me." Astarion gazed at Tav with a distant curiosity. "All you have is to ask and anything is yours, my treasure." |
"Anything except my freedom," she spit back. Her boots hugged too tightly, wet from the mud, and the collar of her once-fine shirt clung damply to her lavender skin, obscuring the fine puncture marks at her neck. Everything inside her pulled, commanded her to stay, to kneel, to beg forgiveness. Her body fought her mind... |
"Freedom from what, darling? Freedom from love, from comfort, from power?" Astarion’s fine face contorted in a mask of malice. "Why would you even crave such a thing?" |
"You do not love me," she whispered. "And I do not recognize you. Just let me go." |
His face smoothed, revealing nothing. Tav held her breath, which she had been heaving in and out without thought. The silence was deafening. |
"No." His simple reply made her skin crawl. In all her years at his feet he had never said it so plainly. She knew what it meant, and a pit formed in her gut. There would be no more comfort, no pretense of love, of power. His shift from pretend lover to indomitable master was immediate and suffocating. She had made a g... |
Tav reeled, held upright by only two hands at her back, arms snaked around her waist without contact. Was she hallucinating? She had done so before, in her madness in the dark; but this felt different, more tangible. Still blind, she groped for something to tell her where she was, what was happening. Surely she had i... |
Shadows began to creep into view as she blinked rapidly. The violent light gave way to deep wood tones, purples and reds. Eventually she was able to make out a figure standing before her. It was mostly shapeless, more like a snuff for a candle than a person, but it shifted nervously. Tentative, she pulled her knees to ... |
She glanced up at the figure, still afraid of what she might find. When her eyes met Gale of Waterdeep, they stuck there, transfixed. He looked virtually unchanged. He still wore robes of deep purple, silly brimmed hat placed atop light brown hair. He had a slightly longer beard, but it still did not reach his neck as ... |
"Gale?" Her voice cracked, tears pressing into the corners of her eyes, threatening. His face was soft as he smiled sadly down at her. "What-?" She trailed off, eyes flicking around the room like a cornered rabbit. |
"You’re in a sorry state indeed, my friend." She recoiled at his pitiful tone, hugging herself tighter. Hunger flooded her along with guilt as she eyed the pulsing in his neck. She knew he would taste of poison and bile, the only thing keeping her from lunging at him on instinct. "Ah! Allow me." Gale bowed low and r... |
She could smell the metallic bouquet and her nostrils flared. Her pupils dilated as he opened the tap and poured a hefty tankard of viscous red bounty. Every muscle in her body was coiled tightly, ready to strike. He had scarcely held it out to her before it crashed against her mouth. She sucked it down hungrily, then ... |
She was unsure how long she lay there in silence on Gale’s floor. He didn’t disturb her, simply settled in a nearby chair with a book. When she finally stirred, he closed his book softly and sat forward. He leaned his chin into his hand, gazing at her with an expression she couldn’t place. She looked at him from the si... |
"What the hells just happened?" Her voice was closer to normal, throat slicked with nourishment, bolstering her already. Her words felt too loud in her head, ringing through her ears and causing her to flinch. She saw amusement flicker across his face and she swore he almost laughed. Her lip curled in an involuntary sn... |
"You called, and I answered," he said simply. She could have rolled her eyes. He was always long-winded, and now he chose to be vague? |
"I mean, how?" She whispered. "No one knew where I was, besides..." She trailed off, leaving the name they both knew out of her mouth. |
"Come and sit, and I will tell you the whole story, if you wish to hear it." Gale gestured to an identical plush chair beside his, separated by a table laden with books. Tav did not move, though she felt the strength in her body. She was terrified if she said the wrong thing this whole vision would disappear and she’d ... |
"I suppose it all began at the end," he started, taking an easy sip of wine. "I left to find the pieces of the Crown of Karsus, intent on pursuing godhood. I left you all behind and didn’t even consider a passing glance behind." He sighed wearily. "A mistake I am still paying for to this very day, judging by your appea... |
"Well, I found them. I found them all, with ease in fact. The netherese magic still inside me made it simple to find its like. I set out to reforge them. Mystra bided her time, still hopeful I would return the reforged crown to her. Of course, I had no such plans." His eyes twinkled with mischief, and a pang of some fe... |
"I’ll spare you the details of the art of reforging the crown, but it took a few decades. Indeed, it was a most difficult time of study and solitude. However, at long last, I held the singular desire of my years’ pursuits in my hands - the mighty Crown of Karsus!" He took a sip of his wine and cocked one eyebrow, ducki... |
Tav’s eyes grew wide, drawn in by the story. "So you’re...a god?" She raised one eyebrow suspiciously. He looked no different than any other mortal man. He smiled brightly, and began a series of gestures with his hands, muttering arcana she didn’t recognize. Around her the walls fell away, the books and incense replace... |
"I remember a time when that would have thrilled you, and not filled you with terror." She blinked at him, chest heaving as if it had never ceased. "I am sorry to have waited so long." |
Anger rose like bile in Tav’s throat. "How long?" She growled the words through gritted teeth. Gale looked aside sheepishly, and she repeated, spitting the words at him like knives. "How long have you been a god? How long have you left me there?" |
"It’s been about 10 years since I ascended, but you’ve been in the tomb for three years and seven months." |
Tav nearly fell from her chair. No wonder she felt like a feral animal. The damnable bastard had left her there for nigh on four years! She heaved, panic swirling in her skull. What had happened while she’d been in torment? What havoc had he wrought on the world? Why didn’t Gale save her sooner? The unspoken q... |
"In all fairness, I could not do anything until I had been summoned." The words tumbled out of him as pain and guilt flicked across his face. "You didn’t summon me until now. Not that I’m blaming you, " he added hastily as a hiss escaped her throat. |
"I didn’t summon you," she spat. "I didn’t even know you were still alive." |
"True," he hedged, "I may have taken some slight liberties with "summoning.’ But it wasn’t like you could summon the weave or...move, really." His eyes cast down, then up again. That pitiful gaze was back and Tav recoiled from it, standing and stalking to the other side of the "room." She crossed her arms, mind reeli... |
"But, now that you’re here," she heard his soft voice from behind, and she turned slightly without looking at him, "perhaps we can help each other." |
"That’s what you want, isn’t it?" Astarion’s eyes roved over Tav’s body and she trembled. She didn’t know the answer, but she knew she wanted to be close to him. "To be mine? Forever?" |
Tav found herself nodding before she knew what she had agreed to. Of course she wanted to be his, and for him to be hers, forever. She would live a long life, but nothing compared to his. If becoming a vampire was how she could stay with him forever, then that’s what she would do. They would work out the kinks as they ... |
Tav stared blankly at Gale. All fear had dissipated into shock. She was a blank slate, putty. Her legs folded beneath her and she sat, eyes casting down at the ornate rug beneath her. |
"I assume that’s what you want, isn’t it? To no longer be a vampire spawn?" Gale’s voice drifted hazily to her ears, beating on her skull, trying to gain access. |
Her immediate reaction is a vehement, resounding |
But something inside her, guilt or loyalty or fear, or all of it, plucked at her dead heart. Forty years she’d gently kneaded at Astarion, trying in vain to bring back his empathy, his humanity, his fear, his hope. Forty years she’d played the fool, wishing and begging and hoping that he would change. Six years she’d s... |
"What if it isn’t?" She didn’t realize the words had come out of her mouth until she saw Gale flinch. What she really wanted, even after all this time, was her love back. Her Astarion, back to himself, before all of this had happened. But of course, there was no way for that to happen. Even if he could be changed back,... |
"Why in the nine hells wouldn’t it be?" He glowered at her, and she grew small under his withering glare. "You can’t possibly still |
" The words stung like acid, and she could tell by his heavy sigh that he regretted uttering them. She picked idly at the threads of the nonexistent rug she sat upon, not trusting her mouth enough to open it. She was slowly relearning what almost four years in a box had all but stripped away from her - how to interact ... |
god, be sent back into the dark. |
"Say it was, what I wanted I mean," she began tentatively. "What could I possibly do to return the favor?" Gale seemed to relax, as if slipping back into a role he’d rehearsed. He leaned back in his chair, tapping his fingers on the arm. An image flashed into her mind, unbidden. |
Astarion’s long, limber fingers tapped easily on the arm of the velvet throne, beckoning her closer. She crawled to meet him, her gaze along the floor, and sat at his feet. His fingers trailed into her hair, sending shivers down her spine as he scratched and soothed. His shoes were polished black leather, but she could... |
She pushed the memory away with a shudder and met Gale’s piercing eyes. |
"I need your help," he said. "When I ascended, the scale was tipped and a balance shifted. I am...treading water, to put it lightly." He smiled wanly. "Ao is not pleased. Mystra wants me dead, or worse, but that’s nothing new. The gods are...undecided on my fate." |
Tav almost laughed. It was absurd, to sit here on this not-floor and debate over the whims and qualms of |
after being plucked from the dark mere moments ago. |
It would serve you right, |
she thought, too late, and Gale’s eyes flashed. She realized she may be underestimating the amount of power he held, not unlike her first years with Astarion. Could he read her thoughts? If he could, he didn’t say. |
"How do you suppose I could help," she tried, cautious. He smiled, and she felt her stomach drop. She hadn’t seen a genuine smile in so long, she wasn’t even sure what to look for. Her gut was twisted and wrong, and she could no longer trust its judgement. His smile fell away as quickly as it surfaced, and he cleared h... |
"There has only been one other solution offered to me. There may be another way, but this is the only one I have. I’m not sure the right way to phrase it..." He trailed off, and Tav scoffed, impatient. He took a deep breath. |
"Astarion must die." |
The room spun. Tav blinked. She smiled at Gale, trying for a joke. He did not falter. He did not laugh. "Kill Astarion?" The words sounded far away, like someone else had spoken them. He did not flinch from her glazed eyes, even as they cycled grief, fear, hate, anger, grief, grief, grief. "I couldn’t possibly... I can... |
Gale shifted uneasily. She watched him carefully, pulling skill from decades of trying to read Astarion’s body language and avoid his ire. He was nervous. He had practiced this. He didn’t know- no, didn’t want to say what came next. He avoided her eyes, picking up the wine and taking a long drink. "Gale." Her tone left... |
"You’re the only one who can get close enough." |
There it was. She balked. Not salvation. Not freedom. Another type of cage. She would have to go back. She would have to pretend to be his perfect little pet. Tears welled in her eyes and she shook her head. Gale crossed the room swiftly, kneeling in front of her. She hissed and drew back, the proximity jarring. He ste... |
"You wouldn’t have to stay long," he rushed. "I could bring you back here when he is gone, when you’re alone. I can protect you from his influence. I can keep your hunger at bay. You won’t have to feed, and you won’t go back in the dark." His eyes flashed with something, but Tav was reeling too hard to read anything in... |
"Tav, please," he whispered. His hand crept toward her face, achingly slowly, until one finger brushed her cheek as her head wobbled. She snapped her face to look at him, pulling back from the touch. A snarl formed on her lips. He did not flinch. His hand continued its steady path as he slowly slipped it onto her face.... |
"I can’t do it without you." Tav’s vision swam. Bark brown eyes replaced ruby red. She found herself nodding, without thinking. |
Astarion stalked through the underdark with a careless ease. Though he was alone, nothing here would touch him. He had spawn in every corner of this wretched place, and the politicians of Menzoberranzan were with him as well. He followed his well-traced path over dirt and around mushrooms until he came to the place he ... |
It was not yet the four-year anniversary of Tav’s imprisonment, but he’d decided today was the day she was to be released, a new woman, ready to serve him at any cost. A year had been too little for him - how he’d reviled Cazador to the last. He had feared him, yes, but never enough. Without her plucky band of heroes, ... |
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