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It was enough. |
A quiet knock on the door to his room pulled Gale out of the book he was reading. He bookmarked his page with a Sorcerer's Sundries receipt and got to his feet, his muscles aching from hours of disuse. "Just a moment," he called and stretched his arms above his head, trying to wake his body. |
"No rush," Sarana’s distinct voice replied from the other side of the door. It was high pitched and sweet, like a storybook princess or perhaps a fairy. There was an almost whimsical quality to it. If Gale was being completely honest, her voice did not fit the rest of her at all. |
Gale quickly checked himself over in the mirror, taking a moment to comb his fingers through his hair and straighten his clothes. He didn’t look his best, but it was good enough. After weeks on the road, Sarana had definitely seen his worst. But still. |
Even if Sarana couldn’t be his, he still wanted to look nice for her. It was pathetic really, but Gale just couldn’t seem to get her out of his head. |
Though neither of them admitted it, there was something going on between Sarana and Astarion. Gale had noticed her sneaking off to Astarion’s tent every couple of nights, but he didn’t think much of it. He didn’t think it was anything serious. That it was just a little, meaningless fling. That he still had a chance. |
Hells, she even got his hopes up. When Sarana’s mind had connected with his whilst they were cloaked in the Weave, she had imagined kissing him. She had wanted him to see the image. Wanted him to see the way she would stand on her toes and loop her arms around his neck as she pressed her lips to his. Her hands tangled in his hair as he lifted her off her feet.... |
Not only that, she was always flirting with him. Making little excuses to touch him or to have a private conversation. So many private looks and smiles when no one else was looking. Something special just for him. |
Or so he thought. |
But then he saw Sarana and Astarion embracing one night and.... Well, it wasn’t the kind of embrace he would expect from two people who were just blowing off some steam. Her head tucked against Astarion’s chest as they just held each other, Sarana swaying slightly in a way that made Astarion chuckle. As much as it hurt, it was sweet. |
Gale was happy for them. |
So instead of humiliating himself, he just let her go. Who was he to get in the way of what she really wanted? |
Though part of him couldn’t help but wonder what she saw in Astarion. |
Sarana and Astarion seemed to disagree on just about everything. Sometimes, Astarion was downright rude to her, questioning everything from her intelligence to her judgment. On more than one occasion, Gale heard Astarion mutter some snide remark under his breath when Sarana was doing something nice for someone else. The two of them bickered all the time, but perhaps that was just their relationship. |
Or perhaps she was only interested in Astarion for his good looks. While Gale thought himself decent in that department (he did get the attention of a goddess after all), there was a reason why Astarion tended to turn heads. |
Feelings for Sarana aside, the two of them had a perfectly normal, completely platonic, definitely-not-awkward relationship. |
Everything would be fine. |
Gale tucked his shirt in and gave himself one last look over before he opened the door. |
Standing in the hallway, with a bright smile and blonde hair that shone like gold under the light of wall lanterns, was the gentlest Gith that Gale had ever met. |
Lae’zel didn’t even consider Sarana to be a true Githyanki. Or even Githzerai, for that matter. She was only Githyanki (they assumed) by blood alone, having been raised outside of a crèche and away from her kin. According to Sarana, her adoptive parents just found her wandering alongside a country road one day. The couple never discovered where she came from and no one ever came searching for her, so the halflings took Sarana in and raised her as if she were their own. |
"Hey," Sarana greeted with her usual chipper tone as she adjusted a wicker basket under her arm. "I noticed that you didn’t come down for supper so I brought you something to eat since the kitchen closed for the night. Just some fresh fruit, bread, and some really yummy cheeses that I got from the market this afternoon. Oh! And a bottle of wine because I remembered you like this kind. At least, I think you do..." |
Sarana thrusted the basket toward him. "Probably not as good as the stuff you can cook, but I didn’t want you going hungry." |
A light chuckle passed his lips, feeling a little flustered over the gesture. Sarana just did things like that. For everyone. She was always looking for a way to lend a helping hand or some way she could give. One time she literally gave a tiefling child her shirt and spent the rest of the afternoon walking around in her bra (not that she or anyone else seemed to mind). |
Heat rose to his cheeks as she watched him expectantly with those bright ocean blue eyes. "Thank you," he said as he accepted the basket. "That’s very kind of you." |
Gods. She was cute. Gale never would have thought the words "Gith" and "adorable" went together until he met Sarana. Slender face with high cheekbones framed with black markings, a petite nose, and full pink lips that seemed to always have a kind word. |
How he wished he had had the courage to make a move on her sooner. Perhaps then Astarion wouldn’t have snatched her up. |
She was such a good person. A paladin for crying out loud. Sworn to uphold values of mercy, kindness, forgiveness. To be a light in the dark. To stand against wickedness. What would a man like Astarion, who was chaos and debauchery incarnate, want with a woman like her? |
It was just that... she really didn’t seem like Astarion’s type. |
"Do you want to come in?" he asked before he could really think about it. He really shouldn’t invite a woman to his room so late at night. Especially when that woman was already spoken for. |
But another part of him struggled to find any harm in asking. They were friends, after all. They didn’t have to stop spending time with each other just because she was with Astarion. That would have been ridiculous. |
Mustering a bit of confidence, he held open the door wider, gesturing for her to come in. "At least share a glass of wine with me," he said. "I feel like it would be rather sad to enjoy all of this alone, wouldn’t you agree?" |
Those captivating eyes of hers widened for a brief moment, as though surprised by the suggestion. He swore he saw a hit of pink coloring her golden cheeks, but it could have been a trick of the light. She twirled a loose strand of hair around her finger as she smiled up at him. "I’d love to share a glass of wine with you," she said and then she pointed to his chest. "As long as you help me figure out what cheese goes well with it." |
"Oh, it would be my pleasure," he said as he let the door close behind them. "Back in Waterdeep, I took a class all about wine. The history of it, how to pair it, how to detect the nuances in the flavor. There’s a lot more to it than one might initially suspect." |
Sarana’s eyes glittered in the orange glow of the dwindling fireplace as she listened to his every word. That was something he always liked about her. When he spoke, she listened. Really listened. Given his predisposition for being verbose, he had grown used to people zoning out after a while. But not Sarana. |
Gale set the basket down on the little table at the front of his room. He removed the deep red cloth that covered the contents of the basket to find a lovely arrangement of everything Sarana had mentioned, plus a few more items like a small jar of honey and a tin of herbed butter. "You brought a feast," he chuckled as he removed the bottle of wine. "Surely you don’t think I eat this much." |
"I didn’t know what you’d want to try," she said, holding her palms out in a gesture that suggested she meant no insult. |
With a simple hand gesture, he uncorked the bottle of wine and floated over two wine glasses from the cupboard. "The thought is very much appreciated," he said as he poured a healthy amount of wine for them both. "Wine first, then we’ll figure out what cheese will go best with it." |
Her fingers brushed against when he handed her a glass, and he tried to ignore the little spark that shot through him. Gods, he was like a teenage boy with his first crush. Just a simple touch from her and his skin felt like it was on fire. It was embarrassing. |
What was worse was the fact that Gale could never act on those feelings. Even if Sarana was interested in reciprocating, he couldn’t bear the thought of playing second fiddle to someone else. He couldn’t do that to himself. Or to Astarion, for that matter. Though they had their differences, Gale wasn’t about to try to whisk away someone who undoubtedly made Astarion happy. |
The man needed a good influence in his life. Gale didn’t understand their relationship, he wasn’t about to drive a wedge between them. |
But still.... The temptation was there. To test the waters, so to speak. After all, Sarana was interested in him once upon a time. Maybe, just maybe, some of those feelings still lingered. |
Before he could indulge that thought any further, he took a sip of his wine. It had raspberry overtones, but it was also pleasantly acidic. One that he definitely pointed out to Sarana once before. He let the flavor linger in his mouth as he watched Sarana take a sip from her own glass. |
Her delicate pink tongue darted out to catch a little droplet of wine on her lower lip. "So tell me what you’ve been up to today," she said, her voice bright and friendly as she took a seat at the end of his bed. "I was worried you weren’t feeling well." |
Some part of his brain screamed at him to sit next to her. Side by side on the bed, where they could inch closed together as they talked in hushed whispers and he could— no. He couldn’t let his mind go there. |
Gale sat down in the same armchair he had been in practically all day. A perfectly respectful and friendly distance away from the bed. |
It had always been easy for him to talk to Sarana. She was an active listener and always had a good question or funny remark about whatever they were discussing. Oftentimes, Gale ended up dominating the conversation, but she never seemed to mind one bit. She would sit quietly and listen to him for hours, her curious eyes on him the entire time. |
Yet, he couldn’t help but feel like there was something a little different that night. Something about the way she paid attention to him. It was subtle. Her eyes were on him as they always were, but they were wandering. Like she was taking in every detail, watching his lips as he talked, darting to his legs when he shifted in his seat. But her expression was as bright and friendly as always. |
Perhaps she was just a little distractible due to the late hour and a bit of wine. |
When Gale finished his wine, Sarana stood from the bed with her own empty glass. "I should listen to your wine recommendations more often," she said and held out her hand for his glass. "Want to have another glass with me?" |
"Are you trying to get me drunk?" he teased and passed her his empty glass. |
"It wouldn’t be the worst thing." She giggled and refilled the glasses, pouring them a little less than he had poured them. "I’d probably get to hear you tell me more about Tara." |
He leaned back in his chair with a small smile on his lips, watching as Sarana put the stopper in the wine bottle. In that moment she had her back turned, his eyes trailed down her slender body. |
Soft pink leggings clung to her curves and she paired them with a flowing white top detailed with gold embroidery. The shirt was cut low in the back, held together by a gold clasp at the nape of her neck. One of the first things she did when they got to Baldur’s Gate was march right up to one of the finest clothing shops in the city and bought an armful of new clothes. Though he was accustomed to her heavy armor or her more casual clothes, she seemed more at home in her new outfits. |
When Sarana passed Gale his wine glass, he expected her to return to her spot on the bed. But she didn’t. Instead she seated herself right on the arm of his chair. Close enough that he could feel the heat of her body and smell her perfume. Something feminine and sweet, like jasmine and vanilla mixed with something he couldn’t quite place. |
"But if it’s all the same to you, I’d rather talk about something else," she said and crossed one leg daintily over the other. "Something that has been on my mind for a while now." |
Gale swallowed. |
She was so close he wanted nothing more than to pull her into his lap. To feel her weight on him and the warmth beneath the palms of his hands. He would caress her as he whispered adorations in her ear. |
Instead, he cleared his throat and shifted away as far from her as the chair would allow. She was with Astarion, he told himself over and over in his mind. He had to respect that. Even if at that moment, he really didn’t want to. |
"By all means," he said, doing his best not to let his discomposure sneak into his tone. "What’s on your mind?" |
She took a sip of wine and set the glass down on the end table. "You, mostly." |
Something in his brain sputtered. "Me?" he asked, blinking at her. "What did I do?" |
The levity he forced into the question was false, but the way his heart pounded in his chest was very real. Sarana hadn’t even finished her thought, and his heart already wanted through itself at her. Gale reined in back with another sip of wine. |
"Nothing at all," Sarana said and lightly touched his arm, making his skin prickle. "Well, nothing bad. At least, I hope you won’t see it as a bad thing." |
Gale stared at where her fingertips touched his sleeve for a moment before he looked back to her, his brow furrowed. |
Her hand squeezed his arm as she took a deep breath. "I like you, Gale," she said. "I really like you and I have for a long time. You’re amazing and kind and funny and your friendship means the world to me. I don’t want to lose that, but I would never forgive myself if I didn’t at least... ask if you wanted to be something more?" |
Warmth rose to his cheeks as he stared at Sarana, almost dumbfounded. A bright, giddy feeling that bloomed in his chest was quickly swallowed up by dread. Disappointment. And, ultimately, sadness. |
Gods, he wanted to tell her he felt the same way. He did feel the same way. He wanted to let her know how he longed for her as well. |
But he couldn’t. |
With a heavy sigh, Gale stared into his wine glass like it was a divination pool, looking for the right words. The right way to answer. "I care for you deeply, Sarana, but — " he turned toward the fireplace as if he could watch any lingering hope he had for a relationship with her go up in flames " — Even if Astarion would be okay with the idea, I just can’t do that. I’m sorry." |
"What?" Sarana leapt off the arm of the chair, startled like a cat who had their tail stepped on. Her face paled and she covered her mouth with her hands. "Oh my gods, I feel like such a bitch. I didn’t realize you two were a thing. I’m the one who should be sorry. I never would have said anything if I had known." |
Gale’s head whipped toward her, his brow furrowed as his brain processed what she had said. "What?" he asked incredulously. "Where the Hells did you get that idea? How could — you’re the one in his tent every night." |
"I don’t know what he does after he drinks my blood!" she replied, looking positively mortified. "Should I leave? I should probably leave. Please don’t tell Astarion about this. I think the only reason he tolerates me is because I feed him." |
"Wait, wait, wait." He stood from the chair and set his glass on the fireplace mantle. "You sneak off to his tent every night so he can drink your blood?" |
Sarana just blinked at him, looking adorably (infuriatingly) confused. "Only if he doesn’t get it from somewhere else during the day," she said like it was completely normal. "I have a spell so I can heal it right away, so it’s not an inconvenience for me. I just don’t want him going hungry." |
Gale pinched the bridge of his nose and took one deep breath in, then out. A bizarre mixture of frustration and elation ebbed and flowed inside him, neither one overpowering the other. "So you and Astarion aren’t in a relationship?" |
"No!" she said, her eyes big and sincere. "I care about him, but like he’s my annoying little sister. Not... ew. I don’t even want to say it out loud." |
The look on Sarana’s face was all the confirmation Gale needed. He didn’t need the tadpole or to detect her thoughts to know if she was telling the truth: Sarana and Astarion were never in a relationship. |
He had been mistaken. |
The times in which Gale felt like an idiot were few and far between, but at that moment he felt like a complete moron. Gale screwed his eyes shut and took another deep breath. "This whole time I thought you and him were together." |
Sarana’s mouth fell open and he could practically see the wheels in her head turning. "Oh," she said. "I guess I could see how you would think that given... yeah." |
At a rare loss for words, he could only hum in agreement, his mouth drawn into a thin line. |
For a few moments, they just stood there with nothing but the sound of the fireplace crackling between them. The soft orange glow from the fire flickered across her skin, making her look as though she were bathed in golden light. Like a goddess. A very embarrassed, slightly confused and uncomfortable goddess, but a goddess nonetheless. |
He had spent weeks denying his feelings, trying to protect himself from inevitable heartbreak. Just the thought alone that Sarana was already in a relationship was enough to keep the emotions he felt around her at bay. But as soon as he knew that wasn’t the case, it was like a floodgate had been opened, overwhelming him in the best possible way. |
A smile tugged at his lips as his heart tried to pound right out of his chest. "Sarana," he said, his voice much steadier than he felt. "I’ve been in love with you almost since the moment we met. I just haven’t said anything bec— " |
He didn’t get to finish that thought as Sarana flung herself at him with enough momentum to throw him off balance, making him stumble back into the armchair. Her body molded against his as she captured his lips with her own. It surprised him enough that his hands remained suspended in the air for a few seconds before he enclosed his arms around her and kissed her back. |
Her knees pressed against either side of his hips, straddling him. Soft hands cupped his face as she kissed him as though she could breathe him in. Her fingers threaded into his hair, pulling his head back slightly so she could deepen the kiss. A tremor went through him when her tongue slipped past his lips and his trousers suddenly felt a little too tight. |
It had been so long since he had been kissed. With Mystra, their time together was spent in the Weave. Incorporeal, ethereal, wonderful in its own way. But it was nothing like this. Nothing like the simple magic of a real kiss. |
Gale’s hands traced over the vault of her ribcage and down to the slight swell of her hips as he breathlessly broke away. "I take it that the feeling is mutual then," he said, his mouth brushing against hers as he spoke. |
"Gods, yes," she said and her mouth crashed down on him once again. When the velvety tip of her tongue brushed over his lips, he opened to her again, tasting the wine on her breath as he drank her in. With her sharp little teeth, she gently nipped his lower lip in a way that caused pleasure to pool in the pit of his stomach. |
There had been so many nights when Gale had woken up with his face flushed and his cock half-hard from just dreaming of such a moment. A moment of her in his arms, wanting him, her lips against his as their bodies pressed together as if they could fuse into a single being. The real thing was so much better than his dreams. The dreams never told him how warm she would be, how soft her skin would feel, or how she would caress his face like he was the most precious thing she had ever held. |
His hands lowered from her hips over the curve of her backside and gripped her thighs. His lips trailed down the column of her neck, from the pulse point beneath her jaw to the pesky neckline of her blouse. Without even thinking, he reached up and undid the clasp at the back of her neck, letting the top pool around her waist. Her breath came in soft gasps as his mouth traversed the newly revealed flesh. |
His parted lips dragged slowly over the slight curve of her breast, over the scars and adorable black markings that dotted her skin. When his mouth closed around the sensitive, pink peak, Sarana arched into him. He flicked his tongue over her, and she moaned when his teeth grazed against her skin as he sucked gently. His hand covered her other breast and shaped her in his palm. |
"Gale," she gasped as her hips rolled against the thick ridge in his trousers, her fingers tight in his hair. "Take me to bed. Please. I need you so badly." |
Gods, if he didn’t need her too. His cock ached, desperate to be inside of her. His flesh burned with the desire to meld against her own, without a single barrier between them. |
But he was an arch mage. Mystra’s former Chosen. A master of the Weave. He didn’t want to disappoint Sarana by just throwing her on the bed and rutting into her like a mad beast. Not when he had so many other wonderful things at his disposal. |
He wouldn’t dare give Sarana any less than he gave Mystra. Not when Sarana deserved so much more. |
"I can do more than just take you to bed," he replied as he caught her gaze, her cheeks flushed pink and her eyes dark with desire. "I can take you places beyond your wildest imagination. Make you feel sensations most mortals would never get to experience. We could bond in the way the gods do, intertwining our spirits in the Weave." |
Her fingers trailed from his face to his throat as she traced the dark lines of the Netherese mark beneath his skin. "I don’t want magic," she said and began to work on the buttons of his shirt. "I just want you." |
Gale felt himself frown slightly. Not because he was upset, but rather confused. Magic was his entire life. Separating him from magic was akin to separating from his own heart or lungs. It was a part of him. |
But perhaps Sarana didn’t see it that way. |
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