text
stringlengths
0
41.4k
He had done neither; he had done something entirely different. He had been firm, had assuaged her fears and anxieties as he had told her how he
to comfort her,
to care for her.
Even now, Aspen’s eyes burned as the memory, murky as muddied water from time, rose in her mind.
He loved her, he wanted to hold her, wanted to dote on her adoringly. It comforted her, knowing there was safe harbour in his arms. No matter what storms tore at her, no matter what ocean waves threatened to mangle and drown her, he would be there for her. A guiding light, a safe haven from the storms. He was where she could settle when she needed rest, when she simply needed him. He was her home.
She’d been dozing and hadn’t even realized it, still clinging to Astarion’s side. He roused her from her mind, like she was being drawn from the shadowed depths of the sea. His hands were cool and soft against her skin as he brushed them along her cheek, down the column of her throat.
"Hmm?" She lifted her head, wincing as the pain multiplied, a small army tearing at the remains of her skull.
He huffed a laugh, although his brow was drawn, undercutting his blithe laughter. "Are you still with me? I thought I’d lost you for a moment."
Lips pursed, she nodded, the dry feeling in her mouth returning. Her stomach was churning again, and she feared she might retch if the world didn’t stop spinning.
"You need to lie down," he murmured, stroking her cheek.
She didn’t argue, letting him guide her down onto the bedroll in the corner. They had taken to sharing a tent, piling their blankets on top of their bedroll until it resembled a nest. She sank into the blankets, sighing in relief. The world continued to spin, but she felt tethered now, like she would not fly away if she stumbled, tossed into the abyss of the night sky.
"You need to make room for me, too," Astarion murmured, tapping her side until she scooted over.
"Good," he drawled, settling in beside her. She crawled into his lap, pressing her face to his chest as his arms curled around her. She could feel a smile on his lips as he pressed them to the top of her head, as he murmured softly. "That’s my good girl."
She was thankful for the privacy the worn fabric of the tent offered. It made it easier to imagine that they were alone, that they existed in their own little world.
"Is that better?" He breathed, stroking her hair. "Is my embrace healing you of your ills, my darling?"
There was laughter in his voice, only veiled because of how soft he spoke, his words little more than a hushed whisper.
Aspen groaned in response, trying to nestle closer. She wondered if he would take offense to her shoving her head under his shirt, her cheek pressed to his skin, his heartbeat thrumming softly in her ear.
"So needy," he continued, dragging his hand down the back of her neck. "Are we not close enough?"
, at least not in her opinion. She would have happily stripped so she could curl up with him, skin-to-skin, had she not been certain he would tease her mercilessly for it. There was comfort in having nothing between them, in being so close. And his body was cooler than hers, soothing the low fever that always warmed her body when she was caught by a headache.
Aspen opted to say nothing, which ended up being the
answer. Although she doubted if there had ever been a right answer in the first place.
Astarion tugged at one of her hands until he pried it from his shirt, applying pressure with his thumb as he pressed small circles against her wrist. "I’m right, aren’t I? You wish we were closer."
Heat erupted in her face, crawling down her throat like storm-clouds blocking out the sky. He could surely see the flush on the back of her neck, feel the heat of her skin if he brushed his hand down her back.
be persuaded to undress, if that’s what you want." She could hear the smile in his voice, and she pressed her face harder against his chest, squeezing her eyes shut.
"My sweet, you’ve gone quiet on me. Have you fallen asleep?"
She gave a soft groan, shaking her head. "Yeah."
He snorted, settling her hand back on his belly. "Are you sure about that?"
"I’m asleep," she whined. "I can’t hear anything."
He sounded amused, running his knuckles down the back of her neck. "So you
heard me offer to undress? Just for you?"
"Oh I’m so very asleep," she said. "I can’t hear a thing. Only your heartbeat."
Another snort. "Are you
asleep," she continued, grinning against his chest. "I can’t hear a thing! I’m lost in my dreams."
"And what are you dreaming of?"
She hummed. "Lots of desserts. Cake and cookies and chocolates."
A sharp pinch against her side summoned a squeal to her lips, and Aspen rolled to the side, gaping up at Astarion as he laughed.
you weren’t awake," he teased, chuckling. His lips spoke of mischief, but his eyes were soft as spun-sugar clouds, so tender she felt like she could cradle the feeling in her hands.
"Maybe I was!" She knew she sounded petulant, bratty even, but it made Astarion’s smile widen, his eyes glowing with starlight. "And you just woke me up from my dreams about desserts!"
He cocked his head to the side, giving her an indulgent smile. "You’re telling me that you
Already her face was burning, and now it was like a fire had been lit beneath her skin, sweeping across her like a wildfire consuming a forest whole. "I have no idea what you’re talking about. I see you every day, why would I dream of you?"
"You love me, don’t you?"
She sensed a trap, and yet she couldn’t stop herself from stumbling into it. The soft light that slipped into the tent washed across his face, making him look like a storybook prince. "I do love you."
He took her chin in his hand, gentle as though he were holding something fragile, something that would break if he squeezed too tight. "You adore me?"
Leaning down, so close the tips of his hair tickled her brow, his breath ghosted across her lips, his nose nearly bumping against hers, Astarion smiled. He tipped her head back, still holding her chin so delicately, his thumb caressing her bottom lip. "So why would you not dream of me? You even said you were having dreams of dessert."
"Dessert, like delicious treats-" 
He cut her off with a kiss, stealing her words and breath. Sharp pain sliced through her like ice stabbing into her skin as his teeth sank into her bottom lip, drawing blood.
," he began, licking his lips as he drew back, ruby-bright blood staining his lips. "Could be more delicious than
, my darling? Do I not give you
you could want?"
Breath caught in her throat, choking her words. The wildfire raging beneath her skin billowed, spread wide. Her blood bubbled, her nerves singed, her mind shrouded in ash and smoke. She could not think one coherent thought, not as he grinned down at her, victorious in his teasing.
"I’ll take that as a yes." He swiped his thumb across her bottom lip once more, bringing it up to his mouth to lick away the blood he had gathered. "I know you give me
I want. You are the sweetest of treats."
She shivered, heat coiling deep in her belly. Words continued to fail her, her tongue heavy in her mouth as she gazed up at him, her sweet villain, her beloved menace. He was terrible and dear in equal measure, teasing her so mercilessly, caught as she was in his arms, ensnared in the net of his voice.
His voice was warm, husky, as he continued. It reminded her of mulled wine, of spices and alcohol and the heady feeling that spilled into her veins. "I think of you always. When you are gone, when you are beside me, you are always on my mind."
Fire was too gentle a descriptor for the heat in her body, for the tension in her belly. An enchantment had settled over her, urging her to tip her head back more, to give herself to him as an offering. If she was everything he wanted, then why shouldn’t he have it? Even just the touch of his lips to hers was enough to wash away some of the pain, to soften the edges until it was nearly bearable.
She did not, however, give in to his teasing, or to the voice that emerged from the veil of smoke in her mind. The one that said how easy it would be to give in, to lie back, to let him do whatever he wished.
Instead, in a fit of desperation, Aspen threw herself against his chest once more, burying her face in his shirt.
"I’m asleep!" She cried, curling up in his lap, trying her best to ignore how his body trembled, how his laughter danced in the air like the melody of a song. "I can’t hear anything you’re saying! My headache made me so exhausted I fell right asleep!"
Astarion continued to laugh, although for a while he said no more words, did not tease her any further. He threaded his fingers through her hair, his free hand at her waist, holding her secure in his lap.
"Alright," he said at last, his laughter spent. "Well, since my sweet lover has fallen asleep, I can say whatever I wish."
She resisted the urge to mutter a quiet "oh no." Instead, she shut her eyes tight, clutching his shirt between her hands, trying to focus on the beat of his heart and
on the tenor of his voice as he spoke.
"Perhaps I’ll start with how beautiful she is," he began, voice lilting. He could have been a poet, with a voice like that, with how easily sweet things fell from his lips, like leaves tumbling to the ground in autumn. "How her eyes hold more colours than I ever thought I would see again. I look at her and I see every forest, every lake. I see storms and sunrises, I see the rise and fall of every season."
She breathed deeply, her heart racing. These lines were new, and she caught the few times he stumbled, pausing as he gathered the thoughts before giving them shape. They made her heart falter, kept the fire that danced across her skin alive, so bright she was certain the tent would catch flame and their belongings would be set ablaze.
"I see the sun in her smile," he continued, more sure now. "Even if I am cursed to live in the shadows for the rest of my immortal life, her lips will cast away the darkness, and I will never have a need for the sun."
As it happened, it wasn’t that easy to focus on the sound of his heart beating. It was even harder to focus when his words rose and fell like winds tangling in her hair, like the steady rush of the ocean as she reached foaming hands towards the shore.
"Did you know..." He trailed off, leaning down so his words caught in her hair, sending tingles crawling down her spine. "That she is my ruin and my salvation. She tore my life apart and gave me something new, something I have not felt in centuries."
Aspen wanted to ask what he was talking about, but she remained quiet, shifting so she could hear him better.
"She gave my life colour, warmth. I’d never thought myself capable of being loved. And she loved me unconditionally." He brushed her hair back from her cheek, his fingers lingering on her skin. "I’ve done some monstrous things in my life, and she loved me anyways."
She nestled closer, smiling a little. He was being so sweet, albeit under the guise of her feigning unconsciousness. But they both knew that she wasn’t, and warmth bloomed in her heart from his words.
"I love her too," he continued, and she could feel his smile pressed into her hair. "At first I thought she was a self-sacrificing idiot. Naive and foolish, silly even."
Cracking her eyes open, Aspen stared at his chest, wondering where exactly he was going with this.
"But the more I learned about her, the more time I spent with her, the more I fell in love with her." He snorted. "I didn’t even know what it felt like to love, and I loved her anyways. Her and
of her faults."
"Hey!" Aspen wouldn’t take any slander. "I don’t have that many faults!"
Astarion was smirking as he gently guided her head back down against his chest. "I thought you were sleeping, darling."
"I am sleeping," she huffed. "I can’t hear a word you’re saying."
," he murmured against her ear. "So I can say whatever I want."
She was beginning to regret pretending to be asleep. Perhaps handling his teasing head-on would have been a better approach. Or perhaps chucking herself into the river would have been better.
say whatever I want," he added, nipping at her ear.
Aspen gasped, tensing even as he drew away, his touch chaste once more.
," he drawled. "As I was
. I loved my darling with
of her faults."
She scoffed, but remained quiet. Perhaps this would somehow put her to sleep. And, at the very least, it was amusing
"Like how she’s far too altruistic for her own good, trying to help
that asks for it. How she has no sense of self-preservation, throwing herself into conflicts that could get her killed, ignoring when she’s feeling ill even though we would be
more inconvenienced if she were to
"I’m careful," she grumbled, scowling. "I’m not going to die."
," he concurred. "Because you’re going to
tell me when you’re unwell,
we’re going to make decisions
before you do anything else stupid."
She opened her mouth to argue, but a pinch to her side stilled her tongue.
"But you’re fast asleep right now," he said, humour in his voice once more. "And so we’ll discuss that later."
She sighed, closing her eyes again. "You can be such a spoiled brat."
He hummed, stroking her hair. "Says the one who wanted to be held like a princess."
"Because my head hurts!"
"I think you’re the one who’s spoiled, darling." She didn’t have to look to hear the smile in his voice, to know his eyes were bright with mischief. "I mean, how many people have I been nice to because you asked me to?"
"I’m asleep! I have no idea what you’re saying!" She squeezed her eyes shut tighter. "But I’m