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"I’ve missed you", Astoria felt the words slip from her with the need to pull him back in.
That surprised him. It surprised her as well, but it was the truth. Astoria swore the world was upside down, because she was now avoiding Harry Potter, her best friend and somehow wishing to kiss Draco Malfoy – a bully. But he wasn’t that bad with her, and it wasn’t that deep, he was just a handsome boy that made her feel good about herself.
He didn’t answer but he touched her face, gently caressed the skin. One kiss and all control would be lost on her. A horrible flashback of countless curses from Moody’s mouth passed in her mind and Astoria shivered.
It’s not that deep, she said to herself.
 It was Astoria who left first.
A loud cheer entered Slytherin’s common room. The Quidditch team returned still wearing their uniforms. Blaise had his hand on Draco’s shoulder and in the other held a bottle of whiskey.
Astoria was reading on the sofa but quickly got up. Just a second ago there was no one here and now suddenly it was full. Girls came after the boys and Pansy couth up, running from behind to jump towards Draco and wrap her arms around him in a very romantic way.
"You did it!", she shrieked in happiness.
"Yes", it was Blaise who answered as he turned to the other boys and announced with pride – "He got us this victory when he knocked Potter off his broom and caught the snitch. He left him there in the mud".
Astoria went pale. It was because of her. He told her so, that he could hurt him back and he did. And to confirm this Draco’s eyes met hers. There was a smile on his face, a cold, victorious smile.
Blaise pushed Pansy away as he pulled Draco and started making inappropriate noises with a repulsive expression in a way to mock her.
"Will she suck your cock now?", he said viciously.
Draco didn’t seem amused. There were so many people filling the room Astoria somehow got lost. All she saw now were some of the older boys who were cheering with the rest of the team. She lost her book as well. And suddenly it was Theo Nott who pulled her. He had a bear in his hand.
"This calls for a celebration. Would you like to stay?", he said with a smile.
It was the first time someone had invited her to a party. There were older students there as well including Marcus Flint who was captain of the team. He sat on a chair near the fireplace. The other boys pulled the sofa and other chairs so there would be enough space but most students sat on the floor. Other groups formed as music blasted around them.
Everyone were in a hurry to get drunk as someone managed to smuggle in alcohol. Whole bottles were being passed around. Astoria finally managed to spot Draco who had a beer in his hand. Blaise was beside him on the sofa and next to them Goyle. Pansy was sitting next to Draco on the spot intended for one to rest his arms. Or maybe she was hoping he would rest his arm in her lap.
Astoria tried not to care. Someone handed her a beer as well. She didn’t open it but sat on the floor next to the fire. Theo tried to be close to her but there was little space and she was mostly left alone. Someone brought snacks.
"Tell us now, Draco", Marcus grinned at him, "How did you knock him off so high?"
"I figured if he really is the chosen one, he will survive the fall", he answered carelessly.
There it was again. The smugness and the arrogance. It was supposed to be a gesture to her but it seemed wrong. Really it was a gesture to feed his ego and his pride. It was a selfish thing to do and Harry was probably hurt.
"I had the pleasure to see his face kiss the mud. There were definitely a few broken bones", Blaise said as he raised his glass of whiskey in the air, "Let’s cheer for that!"
Astoria hesitated to lift her bottle. She hadn’t even opened it and it made no sense. Then again what really stopped her was guilt. He was her friend and she had caused this. How could she cheer for his pain? She was sure he wouldn’t do the same to her.
"Little miss, why aren’t you drinking?", a voice grabbed her attention.
Astoria lifted her gaze to meet Marcus Flint who looked at her with curiosity. Maybe he didn’t figure out it was her, a few older students knew she was Harry Potter’s friend. But still, she panicked.  
"I don’t like beer", Astoria spat out the first like that came to her. Not the truth but not a lie either.
"Someone get this girl a glass of wine!" Marcus screamed as he grabbed the room’s attention, but quickly returned to her, "We could get you some ice. And maybe whiskey?".
A hand gave her a glass of red wine. Marcus was staring at her with a horrible smile. It made her shiver. She tried not to look scared, not to see red.
Her arm lifted the glass in a gesture of triumph over Harry’s fall and then she took a deep sip as a traitor. There it was – the bitter taste burning her throat. This wasn’t her first betrayal.
"I wouldn’t waste it on her", Pansy said coldly.
"Is that so?", Marcus laughed as he looked back at Pansy, " And what are you drinking, my lady?"
"Oh, so you like it rough. Don’t you?"
His voice was disgusting. His face was disgusting. And the things he said, they were the worst. Then everyone laughed. Pansy almost blushed as she rolled her eyes at them. Someone said "she does" and the room erupted.
Maybe that’s just how boys talked and Astoria never knew. How many parties did she attend? Zero, as she never felt right being in them, considering she never really felt like a true Slytherin. And celebrating Quidditch victories was foreign happiness to her. They were getting drunk and being vile. Is that all there was to it?
"That’s sexy, but you see", Marcus said as he pointed towards Astoria, ", her whole face is red. She blushes like a virgin and I’d rather have that tonight with some wine."
"You watch it, Marcus", Blaise grinned his teeth and they both stared for a second. "I heard she’s promised to another."
Astoria felt like she could vomit. They laughed as Blaise patted Draco Malfoy on his shoulder. People raised their glasses to him. She forced herself to look at him so she could show him her rage, only to find him smiling towards her with hungry dark eyes, enjoying this.
"I’m harder to knock off a broom", Marcus spat with a few drops of beer from his mouth.
"Be careful now", Draco said, "That’s one person I wouldn’t cross".
"I’d never cross you, Malfoy. You have my respect after today. I was thinking more about sharing the victory, I am after all the captain", Marcus laughed and put a hand on his chest as if to swore it with a flirty wink, but Draco shook his hand in disapproval and pointed at Astoria with his bottle.
"This girl?", Marcus laughed, "Ah, yes, a woman’s rage Is a fearful thing. The power her lips could have."
He winked again, this time facing her. A simple-minded creature. That door she’d break down slow.
"She almost killed Moody", Theo Nott said coldly, "Split him in half".
Marcus laughed and took a large sip as he got out of his chair. Astoria stepped forward as well to face him. He was tall and older. He reeked of beer and he had a horrible face to look at, certainly in need of braces.
"The ex-auror? You’re messing with me!"
His glare felt dirty. He looked her up and down, circled around her. People noticed. He seemed to be the star of the night. Or a clown, Astoria thought.
"I’d watch it", Theo continued as he stayed still on the ground, "She’s the Elroy girl."
"Oh, I remember now", Marcus said facing her, closer than she’d like, "I heard your family is worth a million. Is that true?"
Astoria held back a laugh but couldn’t restrain the ironic smile. They thought she was some kind of golden duck? An heir to a fortune? Absurd. All she had was the money Albus Dumbledore gave to her from time to time, she knew everything was provided and that he himself was wealthy, but it wasn’t a million and she never felt rich. Not in an elitist-rich way like Malfoy was and Pansy often observed that correctly as there was a difference. You just had to hate someone enough to obsessively stare at them to find the fault in her mannerism.
"It’s not about the money", she hissed at him and moved two fingers next to his throat, "I can open your gut with one movement of my fingers. And I will if you say one more disgusting thing about me."
Marcus revealed the displaced teeth in his mouth with a wide grin that twisted to the left of his cheek. He jumped from one foot to the other as if he couldn’t contain what looked like excitement. Then stepped away and bowed low. Everyone laughed.
"I am sorry to offend you then, my lady. I wish to win back your favor."
Astoria rolled her eyes and tried to leave. It was such a bore and nothing seemed to get to them. No offence or threat worked as all the boys just laughed it off. It frustrated her, but when she tried to go away Theo grabbed her by the hand and pulled her. Astoria gasped as she fell on the floor, no, not on the floor but almost on him.
This got Draco’s attention as he left his drink and leaned forward, staring down at him. Astoria liked that considering he was getting on her nerves the whole night.
"I can sense some tension", Marcus laughed and gave another glass of wine to Astoria, "How about we ease it up with a game?"
"Alright!", Blaise raised his bottle. There were already two around his legs.
"One question. You tell the truth or you empty your glass."
It felt like a stupid decision but she wanted to get drunk, to stop feeling left-out, awkward, alone and so on. Theo felt nice next to her, he was warm and seemingly didn’t bother her. He wouldn’t reach for her but his shoulder brushed in hers and he refused to move. It wasn’t much and it still seemed enough to make Draco furious as his eyes were focused on him all the time.
Marcus smiled wretchedly. He was first.
"Draco, why did you really push Potter off his broom? I’ve never seen you play this aggressively and for a fact, this good."
"He tested my patience too many times."
His eyes looked dark in this light. A dark blue without any light in it. Marcus laughed but he didn’t seem satisfied with the answer.
"If you’re not going to share with us, you may as well finish a glass of whiskey."
And he did, in one breath like a shot of vodka. Astoria watched the drink roll into his throat and then almost blushed when he licked his lips off it. He was used to the taste, apparently. The glass was empty now in his hand and Blaise quickly poured more alcohol in it.
"It’s because he hangs around his girl", Blaise grinned towards Draco.
"His girl?", Marcus raised an eyebrow as he looked towards Pansy, "And I though that beautiful lady in black was his girl."
"I’m not tied down to anyone", Pansy hissed. There was dignity in that though a few boys still laughed.
"Fine then, tell us who are you fucking tonight?", Marcus said with a provocative smile as if he would volunteer any moment.
"Cormac McLaggen", Pansy said coldly and spined a glass of wine between her fingers which looked like the most elegant thing Astoria had seen. She didn’t drink from it which meant it was true.
"He’s a Gryffindor, I think you should try someone from your own", Marcus said with a low voice.
"His family is big in the Ministry", Pansy replied casually.
"My turn", Blaise said, still looking at Draco but the question wasn’t intended for him, "Elroy, did Potter finally return your love? Is this what lead us to victory today?"
It was meant to insult him and to humiliate her. As if she was some kind of traitor, or worse, someone to pass around. Of course, that shouldn’t surprise her. They were going to ask anyway at one point.
"We were friends two years ago. I find it suspicious how much it bothers you still", Astoria said calmly. That was the best way.
"It bothers me", Blaise instantly met her eyes with a sharp light in them, "I think no Slytherin should support that phony. What is the point of being pureblooded only to get your hands dirty like that?"
"I’ve never fucked him", she said plainly, "I hope now you rest well."
Marcus laughed as he smiled at him, "I think you should drink to that, Blaise" and then chuckled, "Or Draco? I am a bit confused already especially with Theo over there."
Redness spread like wildfire on her face as Astoria tried to drop her shoulders forward so they wouldn’t brush against his. Theo didn’t make it easy, and he seemed rather pleased by that comment as it put a charming smile on his face that revealed two dimples.
"I’ve got one for you", Draco hissed as his eyes darkened, "How is it that you took interest in her after finding out her full name? Is it because she’s no longer a supposed Mudblood or a blood-traitor in your eyes?"
It was for Theo Nott. Astoria’s blood ran cold. That was a derogatory term. She knew they spoke like that to Hermione as well. Called Ron Weasley and his family blood-traitors again with the same disgust. Some elitist bullshit. But it still made her upset. It was as if she could see them in a group, laughing at her and calling her names.
"I think she’s hot", Theo said calmly and winked at her.
A great liar, she repeated to herself. The words stuck to her. No smile returned the gesture to him.
"You called me that? Mudblood? And worse?", she took a sharp breath with the realization. They went silent because it wasn’t just a game to her anymore.
There was no recipient for the question, but she could see the answers already on their faces. All of them. Pansy, Theo, Draco, Blaise, Goyle and other looked at her.
"It was different", Pansy said, "You take everything too deep when it’s not. We’d make fun of you and now we don’t. Get over it".
It was a slap on the face, coming from her. And Astoria knew there was truth in her words as she herself witnessed the jokes the girl endured through the night. But it still felt wrong, to be spoken to like that and to be mocked with cruelty.
Astoria got up. Marcus whistled behind her. She tried to ignore the laugh and left the room. There was nowhere to go. She could hear music in the dorms and all of her safe spaces were taken. It was instinct that took her to the small corridor Malfoy had shown her.
There was nothing better than to have a good cry after a party. Always the outcast. It made her feel pathetic. And it made her worry about stupid things like ruining the fun for them or leaving a bad impression.
It would be mutual, Astoria reminded herself and tightened her fingers into fists.
Rage, rage, rage on –
Merlin, there surely was a lot of anger and sadness in her tonight. It didn’t help when she saw him come in with a flush of red on his face and his hair falling in front of his eyes. With alcohol, certainly the boy had no shame. However, it did make sense. This was probably his spot and he showed it to her. It was foolish on her side to stay there in the first place.
"I don’t really want to talk about it", she said coldly, wiping away the tears.
"You cry a lot", Draco responded as he joined her on the floor. He brought with him a glass and a bottle of wine.
The wine poured in the glass, and he handed it to her. Astoria took it without protest but didn’t hurry to drink, only spun it between her fingers trying to replicate the way Pansy did it and watched all her thoughts drown in the bloodred liquid.
"I’ll drink from the bottle."
"Not very Malfoy of you?"
"What do you mean?", he chuckled.
"Well, isn’t it bad manners? Something not appropriate for an aristocrat?"
He lifted the bottle, swinging his head back as the liquid poured down his throat. It had a bitter taste suddenly. This is why he hated drinking. They got him drunk, and he slipped. Said the wrong thing, but he never thought it would hurt her. Astoria was very emotional, he began understanding as that surprised him considering no one in Slytherin really was. At least not on the outside.
"I’m sorry I told you about the bad comments. No one really meant it like that. We all said it as an extension to make fun of Potter. It was never about you, you didn’t really matter that much to me or to Pansy, to Theo, matter of fact."
"He’s just an ass", Draco shrug it off. "You sure make enemies quickly and now I have to push my own teammates off brooms."