Split (1)

train · 64k rows

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10492989	I challenge you to a	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Shun-senpai, gamer senpai, Shun-chan, shun-pyon, Shun-Shun", "Fandom": "Notice Me Senpai! (Video Game)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by beastslikeffs", "chapters": "2/2", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-30T00:00:00", "words": "1,562", "Additional Tags": "Pocky Game, pocky, Food Play, make out, Kisses", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "shun/ kouhai, shun/ kohai, shun/ reader", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	You spy Shun-pyon sitting in the stairwell of the science block's top floor. He had his earpiece on and was totally focused on his DS. You sniggered to yourself as you snuck up behind him, holding a box of pocky behind your back. Your sneak attack was successful; he never saw it coming. He scowled when you removed one side of his earpiece and turned slowly to see who it was. His expression changed to one of surprise when he saw you grinning at him."Ryouma! What are you doing here?" He paused his game and pulled out the remaining earpiece. "I wanted to challenge you in a game." You replied with glinting eyes.This immediately perked his interest. "Yeah? What game? You're on."You produce the concealed pocky box with a flourish. His eyes widen momentarily."Serious?"Your only response was to rip the box open. He gets up and steps closer to you."I'm honoured that you want to play with me," he says in a low voice.You step back. "Shut up," You roll your eyes with a smile."I'm going to crush you." He says in his best superhero voice."Round one, fight!" You place one end of the biscuit in your mouth and stare him down.Shun saunters up to you, overconfident. He holds your gaze as he bites down on the stick. He makes it to the halfway point before you can even blink, and uses the opportunity to snatch the end just as you were about to take another bite.He grins at your frustration, "Should've practiced more before coming to challenge the champ!""Best out of five?" You press.He just laughs then positions a stick in his mouth and waits for you. He wins this round again and you scowl unhappily. "Should I go easy on you?" he teases."No, give me all you've got!" you snap."You're so adorable when you're all riled up," he whispers. His breath tickles your cheek.You take a step backward and your back hits a wall. Shun's smile widens but he doesn't comment, handing you a stick of pocky to start the third round. You're determined to win this, so you try to move much quicker, analyse Shun's moves and counter them. In the past two rounds, Shun had been skillful enough to win without you both touching lips. It ended up being a close win, so it was unavoidable this time. You put a hand on his shoulder to gain leverage, since he was about a head taller than you. Ironically it was your grip on his shoulder that fazed him, leading your win. You crowed in delight."Well-played," Shun-pyon said with a warm smile. "Do you want to get on a step higher than me? Then we'll be more..level.""Mmm, maybe for the final round," you mused.You decide to take it easy for the fourth round and let him do the work. You gain ground at your own pace, but once Shun gets too close you clamp down on the stick and refuse to budge. You exert enough pressure to lock it in place without it breaking. Shun struggles to wrench it free. His mounting frustration is evident.He rests one hand on the wall behind you and tilts your head up towards him to gain better access. He tries, futilely, to coax the end from your lips with his own. Sun grows increasingly flustered as time passes. You use that to your advantage by a ghosting a hand down his chest and pressing your lips harder against his.Shun freezes for a few crucial seconds and you go in for the kill. 2 - 2."You play dirty, Ryouma." His eyes linger on your lips.You laugh gleefully. "You should have seen your face!" You mimic his shell-shocked look and burst into peals of laughter."You think you're so funny," he complains. "Is it me, or is it getting pretty warm?" he takes his hoodie off and lays it over the banister."It's probably me," you say cheekily.Shun shoots you a look. "Yeah, yeah yeah." He does some mock stretches. "I'm ready to win!""Just a sec," you take a gulp of water. "I'm ready to kick your butt!""We'll see who'll be kicking whose butt." he shoots back."Enough chatter," you command, moving to the top step and gesturing for him to get on the step below.Shun complies. His eyes are level with yours now. You gaze at each other for a while."I feel so tall now," you laugh."What.. this is nothing," Shun says unimpressed.His thumb brushes your lower lip in a caress and without thinking, you part your lips. He slips a biscuit between them."Ladies first," he whispers before biting onto the other end. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- The final round is intense.Both of you battle for the upper hand. Your fingers are securely threaded into Shun's hair, holding his face to yours. He kept trying to tug the biscuit from your hold, moving his head sharply away and pulling you along with him. To counter his move, you had been trying to turn your face away from his. One too many times of this and the pocky had snapped."Again," Shun had commanded, displeased.Shun had cupped your cheek in his left hand to prevent you from trying the same tactic again. With your hand in his hair, his cupping your face, and the quickly diminishing pocky stick being the only thing separating your lips, passing students would think you were a passionate couple having a tryst in the middle of the school day. Good thing the science block was secluded, and the top floor was rarely used. No one would unwittingly stumble upon your heated game of pocky.You were down to the last inch of Pocky, and Shun had stolen your move from before. He had locked his jaw on his bit of pocky, a vice-like grip, and his hand was firmly on the back of your neck to keep you from tugging it away. Sneakily touching him no longer had the effect of paralysing him before. You had tried really hard. You had only felt his lips curving into a smile, his eyes boring into yours as if to say it wouldn't happen again. You had pressed yourself against him in hopes of making him fumble, but as if on instinct, he wrapped his free hand around your waist holding you flush against him. Now you couldn't even draw back. You ceased your unsuccessful flailing and dropped your hands from him. Shun noticed your change of demeanour and brushed his hand against your cheek in a feather-light touch. He moved his lips against yours gently like he was trying to spur you on and rekindle the fight in you.Your eyes slid closed. You can feel the tension in Shun's jaw as he awaited your move. You ghost your fingers along his jaw briefly before putting your arms around his neck, eliciting a small sigh from him. You steel yourself before making your move. It was risky. Putting it into play would open a brief window of opportunity for Shun to claim the prize. Speed was key, you needed to move faster than the speed of light. Hopefully the element of surprise would buy you more time.You slip your tongue into his mouth. Shun froze for a while but noticed the window and recovered quickly. He tried pulling the remaining bit of pocky into his mouth, but you block his attempts with your tongue. You manage to sweep the bit of pocky into your mouth but his grip on your neck tightens, preventing you from moving away. The battle wasn't over yet.His tongue lingered at the entrance for a moment. He traced your upper lip making you shudder. Then he explored your mouth in search of the pocky. You had hidden it under your tongue and had refused to move it despite Shun's coaxing. He took your lower lip in his mouth and gently sucked on it as a plea before trying to coax it out of you again with his tongue.You pushed his tongue back where it belonged, but your retreat was hindered by Shun sucking on your tongue. You had to make an effort to hold back a moan. Soon he released you and drew back panting. A silver thread connected your lips for a few seconds before breaking and vanishing. Neither of you stepped away from the other as you caught your breath. You were momentarily lost in the mix of wonder and tenderness in his eyes.You grinned at him as you chewed on the final bit of pocky and swallowed. He wrinkled his nose in annoyance. Shun leans in to hug you then whispers, "I'll come back for a rematch," in your ear making you tremble.He pulls back and presses a chaste kiss to your lips. You searched for words that would not come. Shun runs his thumb round the corner of your lips, then collects his belongings and makes his descent down the stairs. Your eyes lock when he turns the corner. You open your mouth to try and say something - anything. But he doesn't wait for you and moves out of view.The empty pocky wrapper crinkles as you clench your fist.
10495437	where the time goes	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": null, "Characters": "Yuri Plisetsky, Victor Nikiforov, Otabek Altin", "Fandom": "Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Not Rated", "author": "by foxfireflamequeen", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-29T00:00:00", "words": "3,148", "Additional Tags": "2018 Winter Olympics", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Victor Nikiforov & Yuri Plisetsky, Otabek Altin & Yuri Plisetsky, Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov", "Series": "those who move mountains", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": "Gen, M/M", "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Viktor’s theme for the season is swan song, and with the most insane, inspired choreography he’s put together in years, he shatters both Yuri and Katsuki’s records during the Grand Prix and takes gold at Pyeongchang. He makes history, again, officially tying Grafström’s record of three successive Olympic figure skating golds and four Olympic figure skating medals total. Considering his age and year-long break from competitive skating, despite his peak conditioning and lack of injuries, this is, in fact, a surprise.Katsuki, who came in second to Viktor at Skate Canada and the GPF, lets his anxiety get the better of him at the last second and gets edged off silver by Otabek, who also makes history by taking the first Olympic medal, ever, for Kazakhstan.Yuri, whose body for some fucking reason held off on betraying him until the year of the Olympics, barely scrapes together a fifth place finish. It’s humiliating, not least because when Leroy beats him to fourth he cries on international television.The good thing about athletes is that no one tries to tell him fifth place out of thirty is respectable, or that he only flubbed those jumps because of his growth spurt. They just pat his back at the afterparty in the village, commiserating, and join him in shooting envious looks towards the eighteen medalists who, if they have any sense of propriety at all, will call it a night within the hour and leave the rest of them to bitch and feel sorry for themselves.They do. Katsuki is too nice to notice, probably, but Viktor has been here before, and he’s the first to put his arm around his fiancé’s shoulders and bid everyone goodnight when the champagne starts flowing. He shoots a speaking look towards Mila as he goes, and to her credit, she only hesitates for a moment before smiling at the Crispino girl and following him out the door.Soon, Otabek is the only medalist left, and he looks between the door and Yuri, confused and out of his element. He’s the newest of the new here, the first and only from his country, still too dazed from his victory to pick up on the etiquette. Yuri bites the inside of his cheek and forces himself to walk over, bump their shoulders together even though all he wants to do is run away and hide.“You should go,” he says quietly. “Everyone here feels shitty about themselves. Couple more drinks in them and they’ll stop being kind.”Otabek snorts, but he puts down his flute of half-drunk champagne. “Figure skaters are never kind,” he says. “Do you want to leave too?”The only other people in this room who Yuri could have called friends, including the Russian ice dancing duo who took bronze and the pair skaters who won gold, had to exit early. He doesn’t particularly want to stay here, but he can barely bring himself to look at Otabek now, and Otabek doesn’t deserve the vitriol building in Yuri like slow, seeping radiation.“No,” he says. “I hear Chulanont smuggled in his hamsters.”Otabek gives him a slightly disbelieving look, because hamsters or no, Yuri isn’t a big fan of Phichit Chulanont. But he must get some idea that Yuri feels more comfortable here, tonight, than with him, and he nods.“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says, but his voice lilts up at the end like a question.Yuri isn’t sure tomorrow will be much better, but various sources tell him the first night is the worst and he’s a little desperate to believe them, so he says, “Sure.” Once Otabek is gone, turns out there’s literally nothing Yuri wants less than to hang out in a room full of drunk skaters taking potshots at each other and making snide comments about overscoring the Russian team skate and medalists. Someone makes an off-color joke about Katsuki and Viktor’s relationship and too few people jump to their defense, so Yuri grabs a bottle of champagne and makes a break for it before anyone has a chance to say something worse about Otabek, or Mila. Viktor finds him some time later, tucked into a corner of their village hotel, well past tipsy and on his way to drunk. He ignores Yuri’s glare and sits on the floor across from him and picks up the quarter-full bottle.“If you’re going to tell me you didn’t even qualify for your first Olympics, save it,” Yuri tells him, reaching to snatch the bottle back. Viktor raises it away and puts it to his own lips, taking a long swallow.“Technically, I qualified,” he says. “But the Federation didn’t pick me.”“I don’t want to know,” Yuri bites back. Viktor smiles at him, close-lipped and infuriating, and Yuri wonders if he’d have to pay a fine if he punched his own teammate. Probably, considering Viktor bruises like a fucking peach.He cuts off that train of thought as viciously as he can and grabs for the bottle again. Viktor lets it go, eyes tracking his face with uncomfortable intensity. Yuri hates it when he looks at him like that. Viktor is the most observant at the most inconvenient times.“You’re only seventeen. You have time, Yura,” he says carefully. Yura, he’s said since he came back; not Yuri, like most people, or Yurio, like everyone in fucking Hasetsu, but Yura like his grandfather calls him every time Yuri drops his bags and runs into his arms like he’s still twelve. Yura, just on the edge of too familiar but not, and something the younger Viktor never presumed to try.“Time,” Yuri scoffs, tilting the bottle to his lips again. He’s too drunk for this. He’s not drunk enough. “Next Olympics, I’ll be twenty-one. Then, twenty-five. Then, twenty-nine. I’m not even going to get a chance to break your three-gold streak, let alone match your four medals.”“Then, you’ll be thirty-three,” Viktor says like it’s nothing, then adds, “I’m going to compete in 2022.”Yuri chokes.“Are you crazy?” he demands after he’s hacked the bubbles out of his lungs, because fuck, this is officially the worst news he’s heard today, which is saying something considering fucking Leroy. “You’re going to break your back! You’ll make the Katsudon cry! There’s no way in hell you’ll medal!”Viktor looks at him steadily. “Maybe,” he says. “But you’ll medal, and my Yuuri will too. And you’ll know that it’s possible.”Yuri puts his head in his hands, because he just can’t. He doesn’t understand this Viktor at all.“Possible to compete at, what, thirty-fucking-four?” he grits through his teeth, head spinning from the alcohol, or maybe from fucking Viktor. “What’s that going to prove?”“That you can still compete at thirty-three,” Viktor tells him. “That you can beat me.”Yuri wants to tell him that he has, that he did, two years ago when he first broke his SP record, last year at the GPF where Viktor didn’t even medal, this year at the NHK Trophy. Somehow, though, all those victories, they pale at this loss. This is it, the pinnacle of their careers. It’s the Olympics.Viktor leans back against the wall, putting a finger to his lips in the infuriating manner he must have picked up sometime between sixteen and twenty-four. Yuri takes a fortifying drink, because Viktor is thinking, and that rarely ends well for anyone else.“You never asked me if I remembered,” he says eventually. Yuri’s alcohol-riddled brain takes a full minute to catch up.They didn’t talk about it. The few others who know still refer to it sometimes, what the Russian team has taken to calling The Incident, and Yuri imagines Viktor must have discussed it with Katsuki, but he’d poured his own anger and tears out in Otabek’s apartment in Almaty, come back to St. Petersburg two weeks into the preseason, and aggressively pretended he was fine until he actually was. The only acknowledgement he made of the fact that it ever happened at all was when he half-bullied the older Viktor, the only Viktor since then, into choreographing him a routine built around the unique, breathtaking step sequence his younger self left Yuri as a parting gift, the one that won him three separate golds that season.Viktor never brought it up either. No one else would have had enough knowledge to tell him everything, and Yuri just—assumed he didn’t remember.“I thought you didn’t,” he says, only slightly aware that he’s slurring. “Do you?”Viktor pulls the bottle out of Yuri’s slack fingers and drinks. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “Not really. Impressions, for the most part. Ideas.” He pauses, then says, “You.”“Me,” Yuri repeats dumbly. Viktor’s eyes are indecipherable.“I’ve made you a lot of promises over the years, Yura.” There it is again, Yura. A constant reminder, and Yuri isn’t sure which of them it’s for. “I kept one. I didn’t forget you.”Yuri doesn’t know what to say, then he does, rage finally breaking through the haze of alcohol and shock. He lunges forward on his knees, grabs for the front of Viktor’s Team Russia jacket and shakes him hard, too furious to remember that Viktor is older and stronger and has a nasty right hook.“Why would you tell me this now?” he demands, cheeks hot with anger and fuck, eyes burning with tears. He slams Viktor into the wall and Viktor lets him, looking at him so calmly that Yuri sees red.Viktor catches his fist. “I’m not going to let you hit me,” he says, and Yuri shoves him again with all his strength. The thump of his back hitting the wall rings loud in the stillness of the empty hall.“Why are you telling me this now,” Yuri hisses again. This close, it’s impossible to ignore that he’s no longer a foot shorter than Viktor. He’s still taller, but Yuri can hold his gaze now without even lifting his chin.“Because you should know that you’re not the one who’s spent his whole life chasing me,” Viktor tells him, matter-of-fact. Yuri can’t even tell if he’s angry, and that’s probably the biggest different between the two Viktors, he thinks. At some point, teenage Viktor grabbed hold of the anger-passion-fear he’d wanted Yuri to teach him to harness and instead tamped it down, stowed it away and made himself into someone new.“What?” Yuri says intelligently, and Viktor laughs in his face. He pulls Yuri’s other hand away from his jacket and smooths it out. There’s a smile on his face that’s neither mean nor happy, just there. Like he doesn’t realize he’s smiling.He’s so different. Even more since Katsuki.“I didn’t remember—everything,” Viktor muses, tutting at the champagne spilled over the carpet where he dropped the bottle. There wasn’t much left, but it’ll leave a stain. “Like I said, it’s mostly just impressions. An old poodle. Phones that took great pictures. A boy with a temper.” His smile grows wider, fonder. “Quads. So many quads I couldn’t do.”Yuri opens his mouth, but Viktor’s not done. “Don’t you understand, Yura?” he pushes. “I’m here now because you showed me these things were possible. That’s why I chased the quad Lutz, and the flip.”He goes silent for a long moment, then adds, very soft, “It’s why I didn’t give up after I—fell.”Viktor’s fall. Yuri knows it, just like everyone else. The injury that should have been career-ending, but wasn’t.Yuri closes his eyes, the fight draining out of his body. Viktor must feel his fist loosen because he releases it, and when Yuri sways into his space he cups the back of his neck and lets him lean on him. Drunk as he is, Yuri can admit to himself that this is nice. Viktor gives good hugs. Yuri hasn’t let him hold him since he—came back.They stay there for a while, Yuri’s breath ragged against Viktor’s collarbone, his arms tucked between their bodies.“Is that why you offered me that deal?” he asks eventually. “No quads, and you’d choreograph my senior debut routine?”Viktor hums in agreement. “I didn’t really know it was you until I saw you jump. Quad sal, at twelve years old. I had to do something, or you would’ve wrecked your body before you hit seniors. And then you wouldn’t have been there, when I needed you to be.”Viktor Nikiforov needed him. It’s still impossible sometimes to reconcile the Viktor he’d gotten to know, young and rude and just as desperate as Yuri to catch up to all the legends who came before, with this one, who’s a little immature and a lot flighty and polite to a fault, and already a legend.“You’re the reason my base score was so low these past seasons,” Yuri admits only because he has a lot of champagne in him. “Only two quads to everyone else’s three or four.”Viktor thumps him on the back, admonishing. “Your base score wasn’t low; you had more combinations,” he says. “And this is why you’ll be back in four years with the first quad axel landed in competition to add to your name.”Do you really think I can do it? Yuri almost asks, but he hasn’t lost all his inhibitions yet, and he still has some dignity, so he pulls away with some effort instead. The whole world tilts to the side, and Viktor catches his shoulders to steady him.Yuri blinks up at his smiling blue eyes, leans in, and kisses him.Viktor doesn’t push him away. He kisses back, soft and dry and sweet and—different. Too different. Boring.Yuri sits back, so disappointed he could cry.He feels Viktor’s hands wipe at his wet cheeks, big and rough from hundreds of falls and off-ice training, and keeps his eyes closed. The hands in his memory will never be this way, he realizes. They’ll always stay small, teenage-soft. The Viktor from his memory will never get to grow old.“Oh, Yura,” Viktor sighs, and draws him back into his arms to let him wail into his jacket, long and ugly and loud.At least he doesn’t have to worry about anyone coming to investigate. In the Olympic village, he’s not the only one crying tonight. “Can we not tell the Katsudon?” Yuri knows he sounds pathetic, voice hoarse and snot clogging his n’s. Viktor laughs, adjusting his hold so Yuri doesn’t tip over as they walk back to his room.“Which part?” he asks, eyes glittering with mischief. Yuri elbows him in the kidney. “Ouch! Really, Yura, violence is never the answer.”“Why didn’t you learn this lesson before you punched me?” Yuri grumbles, leaning more of his weight onto Viktor because he’s cried himself mostly into sobriety and there’s a consequent headache already pounding at his temples.“I was younger than you are now!” Viktor protests. “I didn’t actually remember that bit, or anything else concrete, until I came back here. It was all vague flashes until then. Like fuzzy, fading dreams. What a waste,” he sighs dramatically. “If only I’d retained the knowledge of how to land the Lutz and flip, instead of just knowing they were doable. I wouldn’t have had to wait five years.”“Shut up,” Yuri mumbles. “Why aren’t you with him, anyway? Shouldn’t you two be celebrating or something?”“Instead of going around kissing underage teenagers, you mean?” Viktor teases, to be even more annoying. God, Yuri doesn’t know what he was thinking. This Viktor is hot enough to jerk off to, but that’s about it. Yuri can’t imagine how he grew up to be this bad instead of the other way around.“You’re avoiding the question,” he points out, and feels more than sees Viktor roll his eyes, exasperated.“Probably the same reason you’re not with Otabek tonight,” he says. “My Yuuri is rather a sore loser.”“You’re kidding me, right?” Yuri says, disbelieving. “He won bronze at his first Olympics.”“And I won gold,” Viktor says. They arrive at the right door, and Yuri fumbles for his key. He’s pretty sure his roommate isn’t in, celebrating his bronze medal balls-deep in some Canadian hockey player, probably. “He can’t help it, Yura. Just like you can’t help how you feel about Otabek’s silver.”“At least he medaled,” Yuri sulks, letting go of Viktor to drop heavily onto his mattress. As predicted, the rest of the room is empty. Viktor turns around to rummage in Yuri’s suitcase, pulling out a ratty shirt and sweatpants. He tosses them at Yuri’s head.“And he’ll be happy about that tomorrow,” he says, looking for Yuri’s water bottle while Yuri wrestles with his clothes. “Tonight, silver hates gold, bronze hates gold and silver, and everyone else hates all three.”“The first night is always the hardest,” Yuri recites, giving up on the shirt. He pulls the drawstring of his pants tight and holds out his hand for the water. Viktor sits on the empty bed and puts his chin in his hands.“What?” Yuri barks when he’s drained the bottle, and winces at his own loudness. Champagne hangovers are awful and Viktor, who has an unreasonable tolerance for it, will be entirely unsympathetic tomorrow.Viktor shakes his head, smiling at him fondly. “Just thinking about something my Yuuri said once. I didn’t know you then, but you were my first love.”Yuri stills. He’s heard that before, from Katsuki. Yuri had heard that, and said, gross.“Yeah?” he manages after a moment, blood rushing in his ears.Viktor hums. “I didn’t understand what he meant when he said it,” he says. “I think I do now.”Yuri blinks at him in shock and opens his mouth reflexively, but Viktor shoots him a quelling look and rocks to his feet. “It’s in the past, Yura,” he says, gentle like he didn’t just hand over a gift Yuri didn’t know he needed and ask for nothing in return. This Viktor is kind, and sometimes selfless, and still pretty fucking mean. He’s in love with someone else, and not the same person at all.Yuri climbs under the covers, mute. Me too, he wants to shout, but who would he tell? This Viktor doesn’t care to know, and Yuri doesn’t particularly care to tell him. Like Viktor said, it’s in the past, now.“I’m going to beat you next time,” he calls, just as Viktor’s about to step into the hall. It’s such a stupid thing to promise, four years away during which anything could go wrong, but he wants Viktor to know he gets it. That he wants Viktor to return the favor, and show him what’s possible.Viktor laughs. “I’ll hold you to it,” he says. “Go to sleep, Yura. It will be better in the morning.” It is.
10497336	Weasley Is Our Emperor	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Armitage Hux, Ben Solo \| Kylo Ren, Molly Weasley, Arthur Weasley, Charlie Weasley, Percy Weasley, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Ron Weasley, Ginny Weasley, Bill Weasley", "Fandom": null, "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by Owl_Lady", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-04-03T00:00:00", "words": "10,774", "Additional Tags": "Hux is Bill Weasley, Humor, Light Angst, wizard angst if you will, lol, BAMF Molly, Asexual Charlie, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, like literally i mention it once, Minor Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, like literal i half mention it once, hell you could think it was another person both times, Power Bottom Hux, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Amidala, Emperor Hux, Consort Kylo Ren, weasley is our king", "Relationship": "Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Star Wars - All Media Types", "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	“Hey Hux can yo-“ Ren said as he stomped into Hux’s quarters (like he fucking owned the place what an asshole). His speech trailed off when he saw the General hunched over his data pad on his desk. Hux got into his work, but he was a little more engrossed than was even normal for him.“Hux” Ren said slightly louder than his normal tone of speech, trying to get his attention. Hux still stared at the pad, ignoring him. Ren walked over to the desk and came to stand directly in front of it.“HUX” Ren shouted.“I’m busy Ren. We’ll have to postpone our activities until I sort this out” Hux said without removing his eyes from the data pad. Ren crossed his arms with a huff. Ren, if he must say so himself, is a hot piece of ass, and he really didn't appreciate being cast aside like he was merely a lukewarm piece of ass.“You promised you wouldn't do work during our…..scheduled activity time” Ren said trying to put as much annoyance into his voice as his helmet would allow. Hux sighed.“If it makes you feel better, this isn't work, this is personal” Hux said, still averting Ren’s face. Shockingly, this didn't make Ren feel better.“What do you have that's personal besides me?” Ren asked. He wasn't even trying to be a dick. Ren was pretty sure the only normal aspect of a personal life that Hux had was their “entanglement”.“Frankly that’s none of your business” Hux responded.“You don’t have some sort of wife secreted away on Arkanis, do you?” Ren asked mockingly (as if Hux could get TWO people in his bed HA). He could almost feel Hux roll his eyes in anguish.“If I had a spouse, I’d be fucking them instead of scraping the bottom of the barrel to fuck you” Hux shot back. Ren huffed. He grew tired of this back and forth and decided to end it. Ren lifted his hand and with a flick of his wrist Hux’s data pad flew into his hand.Hux’s head shot up and he started to yell, but he felt an invisible pressure being applied to his mouth, leaving him incapable of speaking. Hux tried to stand up, but his body was also rooted to his chair by the damnable Force.With Hux restrained, Ren looked at the data pad to see what was so fucking interesting.He certainly didn't expect it to be a single, long-winded e-mail. Dear General, Hello, I know you don't know who I am, but I know who you are. You see, I’ve grown up hearing about you for my entire life. My mother hasn't let a day go by where you were not mentioned. You might be wondering why this is so. Well, it’s because you’re her son. I don't know if you know this, but Maratelle Hux is not your mother. Your father and my mother had an affair, and you were a result of that affair. When you were born, your father insisted that he be the one that raised you and that my mother was better off moving to a new planet and starting her life over. Well, she did just that. Your….well OUR mother moved to the planet Gatalenta and has been here ever since. She met a good man and has since had a family with him. In other words, she's had a good life in case you were worried about her. Our mother has always been open with the fact that you exist, and she and my father consider you their eldest child even though you’ve never met either of them. We live a secluded life and we do not hear much about the politics of the galaxy, so we had no idea that you had risen to such lofty heights in the First Order. I only discovered you after I did some digging, trying to see what had become of my “older brother”. I think what I’m trying to say is…Would you please visit our family? I’ve enclosed our coordinates below. I know it would bring such joy into our mother’s life. It’s always been her dearest wish to meet you, and I know she worries about you. Please consider sparing your time.X: 099 Y: 099 Z: 011 48°07′N 14°52′E Sincerely, Ms. Ginny Weasley Kylo looked up from the data pad without saying a word. He looked towards Hux and saw that Hux was desperately looking to him for answers. Ren dropped his holds on the General and saw him ease as the pressure subsided.“I’ve heard of Gatalenta before. They have a strong history with the Jedi” Was all Ren could muster up to say. Hux sighed heavily. Ren and Hux where surrounded in silence for a few moments, before Ren couldn't take it any longer.“Did…Did you know you were…”“A bastard” Hux finished for him. Ren did say anything. Hux glared at him.“Of course I know. My father and his wife reminded me of it every day of my life” Hux said as he got up from his chair and strode around to the front of his desk. Hux leaned against his desk and covered his face with his hands, a sure sign of stress.“Do you want to…meet them” Ren asked. Hux’s pained groan was muffled by his hands.“I don’t know….How do we even know these people are real. This could be a ploy created by the Resistance” Hux mumbled. Ren rolled his eyes under his helmet.“Exactly how many Resistance members do you think obsess about the circumstances of your birth” Ren asked.“Explain how some child from a backwater planet got a hold of my personal e-mail address, if she's not a member of the Resistance” Hux said. Ren sighed.“Hux, if the Resistance had your e-mail address you would know about it. Besides, this girl’s got half of your DNA, she's probably resourceful like you…..probably runs in the family” Ren said in a way that can only be describes as “twisting the knife in the wound”.Hux dropped his hands from his face and Ren saw a look he recognized all to well. The look that showed how torn a person was, how emotionally done they were.“I’ve always wondered what she was like. I knew she was a kitchen maid, but father wouldn't tell me anything else” Hux said, venting.“I think I assumed she was dead, but I don’t have that luxury now” Hux continued.“Now she's alive, and she has a family….and….she worries about me” Hux said. Ren saw the beginnings of tears welling up in his eyes, but he knew Hux would never cry in front of him. Hux would never be that vulnerable.“Gatalenta is a days journey from here. If we left now and I pushed the engines a little, we could be there by the morning” Ren said. Hux glared at him.“Even IF I went to see her and that is a rather large IF. I am sure as shit not taking you with me” Hux growled.“Gatalenta is occupied by the New Republic. You step foot on the planet without proper protect and I’ll be rescuing you from the Resistance.” Ren said. Hux knew he was right, but didn't want to give him the satisfaction.“It’s not like you’re taking me to meet your parents. I’m hardly your boyfriend” Ren just…..HAD to add. Hux scowled at him.“I think I’ll take my chances with the Resistance. Maybe I’ll meet Organa and tell her what an absolute Shithead her son is” Hux spat at Ren. Anger spiked up in Ren’s body but he pushed it down.Ren nodded then turned to exit. He walked through the doors and, just as he was leaving, he turned to say one last thing to Hux.“Atleast I knew my mom” ~+~+~+~ “I still don't know why I allowed you to accompany me” Hux said as their shuttle pierced Gatalenta’s atmosphere.“My guess is that you can’t go two weeks without hopping on my dick” Ren said as he piloted the shuttle over the planets lush terra.“If you even ALLUDE about our arrangement to my mother I will beat your skull in with your dumbass helmet” Hux threatened. Ren shrugged.“Good thing I’m not wearing it planet-side then” Ren said. He didn't hear a snappy comeback from Hux so he was satisfied.“You’re….you aren't wearing it” Hux asked. Ren nodded.“It’s too recognizable amongst the Resistance. We’d be spotted too easily. I’m going to look like a regular civilian” Ren said.“I didn't realize regular civilians had ears the size of satellite dishes” Hux mumbled under his breath.“You sure didn't mind them when you used them to pull my face in deeper into your as-““THAT’S ENOUGH OF THAT” Hux practically screamed. Ren smirked to himself.A few minutes later they landed about 500 feet from the coordinates Hux’s….sister?? had given them. Ren got up from the pilot's seat and began shutting down the shuttle. He felt Hux’s nervous energy roll off of him in huge waves. Ren turned around to look at his….whatever?Hux’s image was pretty well known around the galaxy, so they had taken some measures to ensure that they wouldn't be spotted. The most dramatic one being the extensions that Hux currently had in his hair which made his short military style hang down to the tops of his shoulders. The looks actually kind of suited him in Ren’s opinion. It soften the General’s hard features and made him almost look like a pleasant person.“Are you ready” He asked. Hux looked at his direction, and Ren saw his answer in Hux’s eyes.“Yes” Hux responded weakly. Ren gave him a shy smile and walked over to him. Hux eyed him up and down, like he expected him to attack or something. Ren got close enough to take hold of Hux’s hand, which Hux gave him hesitantly. Ren lifted the pale limb up to his mouth and placed a soft kiss against the hard joints of his knuckles.“It’s all going to be okay” Ren said as he kissed the tips of Hux’s fingers. Ren feared that Hux would pull away, scared of the intimacy, but he didn’t.“Thank you Ren” Hux said. Ren smiled into the skin of Hux’s hand, and with one final kiss, let it fall to his side.“Let’s go meet your mom then” ~+~+~+~ Hux and Ren walked a short ways until they came upon a tall shack-like building surrounded by large rolling fields. The building had at least six floors, and it looks like a weak wind could easily send the whole structure tumbling down. There was a garden to one side and beyond the building stood a few sheds.“They live in that” Ren said as he looked at the building.“I suppose” Hux replied.“I feel like if I look at it to hard it’ll blow over” Ren said. Hux let a small huff of amusement escape. Their calm tranquility was broken by a shout coming from inside the building.“MUM, CHARLIE PUNCHED ME’“I ONLY DID IT CUZ FRED STOLE MY DATAPAD”“SHUT IT THE BOTH OF YOU”“YOU SHUT IT GINNY”“FIGHT ME RON”“WILL EVERYONE SHUT UP I’M TRYING TO READ”“OH I’LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO READ”Hux and Ren listened in horror.“I think you’ve got more family then just a sister and some parents” Ren said.“Or maybe I’ve got a brother with a very hyperactive imagination” Hux prayed. Now it was Ren’s turn to laugh.Suddenly a ginger girl ran out of the house. Her face was twisted into a most angry expression. Ren had to stop himself from audibly laughing, because he'd seen the same face on Hux a thousand times. The girl caught sight of Hux and Ren and her expression changed instantly.“MUM” She yelled back into the house.“MUM, YOU NEED TO COME SEE THIS” She shouted again. Some noises erupted from the house and got closer and closer to the door. Mumbling as they exited was this short little woman with wild ginger hair that Ren swore was the exact same shade as the man next to him. She was holding a rag and ranting at the girl. The girl pointed towards the two men and the woman followed her hand.As soon as she laid eyes on them she froze. She dropped her rag and her hands flew to her mouth in shock. Ren turned his head and looked at the General. Hux had tears streaming wildly down his face, his sense of decorum utterly lost.The woman then began to run toward Hux, and he did the same. Within a few paces the two had met and embraced each other in the highest hug Ren had ever seen. They held onto each other as if one of them would die if they let go.Hux was sobbing into the woman’s shoulder and she was no better off. They mumbled unintelligible words to each other, and reveled in each others company for the first time. The scene made Ren want to tear up, but someone had to keep themselves together.Before long, several other red heads began to pour out of the house to watch the the reunion. Ren held back a laugh. Every single one of them was a tall, lanky, ginger, and looked exactly like Hux. Most of them were men as well. Ren kinda felt sorry for Hux’s mother. Six children, five boys, and they all seemed to be brats like their older brother.Ren was snapped out of his thoughts by someone calling his name. He looked over and saw Hux calling him over while he had one arm around his mother. Ren paused. Hux looked entirely different. It wasn't the disguise, but the look of…..happiness. Ren has never seen Hux smile, let alone “beam with joy”.“Are you deaf” Hux shouted at him, quickly returning to the old Hux that Ren had grown to hate. Ren then began to make his way over to the happy duo. He still couldn't get over the vision of a deliriously happy Hux.“Mother, this is Lord Ren. He and I co-command a First Order destroyer” Hux said. Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped.“YOU command a destroyer” She said excitingly. Hux laughed.“Yes, I’m a general” He said.“The youngest general in the First Order or The Empire” Ren added with a smirk. Ren caught Hux giving him a strange look, but he paid attention to the deliriously proud woman in front of him.“Well I shouldn't be so surprised. Of course you’re a genius, I knew you would be. I only got to see a glimpse of you after you were born, but I knew that you would be the greatest thing that the galaxy had ever seen” She said.Ren watched, but couldn't help envy creep into him. Perhaps if Ben’s mother had been this enthusiastic about his powers like Hux's mother, instead of scared of them, then things would have turned out differently.“Now come on, we need to get inside so you two can meet the rest of the family. Oh, Bill I have been waiting YEARS to do this” Hux’s mother said as she began to drag her son back to the shack.Ren shot Hux a glance, and mouthed “Bill”. Hux just looked back and shrugged.“EVERYONE INSIDE. WE’VE GOT A LOT A CATCHING UP TO DO” ~+~+~+~ “So let me see if I have it down” Hux began. Ren leaned back on a cushy old sofa and watched as Hux attempted to remember the names of his numerous siblings.“Charlie…Percy..Fred and George…..Ruuuu…RON..and Ginny” Hux said. Ren smirked, he could heard Hux say their full names in his head. He hated nicknames, but it was actually kind of cute that he was trying for his family.“And you're Molly” Hux said as he pointed to his mother. Hux’s mother…..Molly, shook her head.“You will call me Mum or nothing else young man” Molly insisted. Hux again broke out into on of his new “smiles” and honestly, Ren feared that Hux’s face would be broken after this trip. Suddenly loud footsteps could be heard approaching the door, which was swung open moments later. A thin framed man loudly stepping in and smiled and his gather family. Choruses of “Hey Dad” and “Welcome Home” rang out. Ren gave a look to Hux.“Hux, I’m beginning to think your Mom has a type” Ren said as he pointed out that her husband was also apart of the ginger hoard. Molly heard Ren and laughed loudly at this, while Hux shot Ren a death glare.“Molls, did we have another one while I was out” The man said as he approached Hux. Ren saw Hux curl inward at his gaze. Of course, Ren looked at him and saw nothing but a kind old man, Hux just saw a redheaded father figure and fell back into old patterns.“Arthur….this is Bill. Ginny found him and he came back to us” Molly said proudly. Arthur smiled and gave Hux and once over.“Well it’s hard denying you’re one of ours with that head of hair” Arthur joked. Some giggles rang out and Arthur reached out a rustled Hux’s hair. Ren thought he might have to intervene in order to stop Hux from murdering his….step-dad????, but Hux leaned into the touch and seemed to be loving the attention.“Now that one doesn't look like one of ours” Arthur said as his attention turned to Ren himself. Ren didn't know what so say, turns out he isn't that great with father figures either.“This is Kylo Ren. He and Bill are friends” Molly said. Hux sighed.“We work together Mol…Mum” Hux corrected himself. Molly just smiled at her son a patted him on the cheek.“Do you work with Jedis” Arthur immediately asked Ren.“No” Ren said a tad to forcefully. Arthur quirked an eyebrow and pointed at Ren’s waist.“Isn’t that a lightsaber” Arthur pointed out. Suddenly everyone was staring at Ren and he hated it.“Yes, but that doesn't mean I’m a Jedi” Ren forced out. Arthur’s face lit up.“I could care less what you are. I’m fascinated with force sensitives” Arthur said as he moved ‘round the couch and settled in next to his wife.“Trust me, they aren’t all that they are cracked up to be” Hux said lowly.“Are you very strong with the Force” Arthur asked. Ren huffed.“I am the most powerful force user in the galaxy” Ren said with little time for humbleness. Hux rolled his eyes.“You move stuff with your mind, right?” Piped up the ginger Ren thinks is named…Rooney???“RON, thats rude. He isn't here to entertain you” Molly chastised.Molly had just finished her sentence when suddenly locks of Hux’s hair began to levitate around him. They tied themselves into knots and twirled themselves together seemingly on their own. Everyone was fascinated by the spectacle. Hux was pissed.“Ren if you could stop ruining my hair that would be excellent” Hux said with as much loathing as he could. Suddenly a big chunk of Hux’s hair was yanked to the side. Hux grabbed his head in pain while the others laughed. Ren actually felt himself chuckle at this idiot.“Oh Kylo, you best stop toying with Bill” Molly said Ren immediately stopped. Hux stared at him in awe, then turned to his mother.“You must teach me how you got him to actually listen to you” Hux said. Molly shook her head in laughter.“Oh its easy. Just have seven kids and you’ll learn how to get them to listen” Molly said. Groans came from her gaggle of children, but Hux.“Seven?” He asked. Molly’s face went soft as she stared at him.“Sweetheart. I’ve always considered you to be one of my children. When I had Charlie, I was a mother of two. When I had Ginny, I was a mother of seven. I promised myself that I would never forget you. Just because I couldn't be in your life, doesn't mean you couldn't be in mine” She said. Everyone was quiet, just soaking in this tender moment. Hux smiled and pulled his mother in for another bone crushing hug.“I’m so glad I found you” Hux said. Molly squeezed him tightly.“I’m glad you found me, too Bill” Molly said, but then suddenly pulled back. Hux looked scared, like he was afraid she was going to take everything back.“OH Sweetheart I’m so sorry. We’ve been calling you Bill this entire time haven't we” Molly said. Hux nodded slowly.“Yeah I’ve been wondering when he was finally going to correct you” said one of the twins that Ren disliked.“George” Molly growled. She then turned to Hux and sighed.“You see dear. When I gave you to your father, I didn't get to know anything about you. I just got to see you for a few seconds then they whisked you away. I didn't want to forget you, and I wasn't going to call you “that baby I had with Brendol Hux” for the rest of my life…so I just started calling you Bill. I’m sorry I didn't ask earlier, but what is your name?” Molly asked. Hux just looked at her. Ren could practically hear Hux’s brain calculating what to do next.“Bill is fine” Hux said. Ren had not expected that. Molly smiled and wrapped her son up in another hug.“Welcome Home, Bill” ~+~+~+~ “Master Ren can I talk to you for a second” Arthur said to Ren as he got settled into the room he would be staying in. Ren sighed to himself. He’d told Hux’s step-father that he wasn't a Jedi many times now and it never seemed to stick. Ren looked up at the older man and saw that his face had a tone of seriousness that hadn't been there all day. Ren stopped what he was doing and turned to face the man.“Is there a problem” Ren asked. Arthur stepped closer to Ren, and Ren’s defense mode kicked in.“I know I’m not Bill’s father, but he’s Molly’s and if someone is hers then they’re mine, get it. So that means that it is my job to make sure that Bill, and my other children, aren't going to be hurt” Arthur stated. Ren took in a breath. He was serious going to get kicked out, by THIS dude.“So, I don’t know how long you and Bill have been an item, but I would like to to treat him with the respect he deserves. I’ll also have you know that if you do anything to hurt him, you will have eight gingers coming at you with nothing to lose” Arthur…threatened?? Ren almost laughed at the absurdity of him and Hux being an “item”. They had, according to Hux, an “arrangement" and nothing more.“I can assure you that your son and I are not…an item” Ren said with distain in his voice. Suddenly Arthur erupted into laughter, which Ren didn't know how to respond to.“You must be joking” Arthur said. Ren shook his head. Arthur sighed with amusement.“Master Ren, I have been deeply in love with someone for over thirty years. I know how to spot someone who shares my same fate” Arthur said. Ren made sure to show no sign that Arthur’s words had any effect on him.“I see how you are with him. You bicker, but that’s how you show you care. You watch over him, ready to kill whatever would try to take him away from you. When he looks at you, you’re never the first to look away because you want that moment to last as long as it possibly can. You love him” Arthur said. Ren didn't say anything. He felt he skin heat up and he couldn't tell wether it was from embarrassment or rage.“You don't know anything about how I feel” Ren spat back. Arthur nodded.“Your right, and I barely know Bill. You probably know him better than all of us. I do however, know how people think, wether they are Jedi or Generals or Hutts, everyone looks the same when they’re in love” Arthur said.“I understand that Jedi aren't supposed to love anyone and it is up to you to wether or not tell Bill how you feel, but don't lie to yourself Master Ren” Arthur said. He then flashed Ren a small smirked and exited the room. Ren just stood there, not knowing what to do. ~+~+~+~ “OK BILL, Welcome to the Weasley clan” Fred said loudly to much applause from his siblings. All the children had gathered in Ron’s attic room and where sat in a circle.“I’m glad to be here” Hux replied.“Seeing as you are now one of us….You need to be on our level” Fred explained. Hux quirked and eyebrow and looked around to see if anyone would offer him an explanation.“We’ve known each other all of our lives, and even though we’ve always known about you, we don't know a fucking thing about you” Fred said, and was followed up by several nodding siblings.“Alright….I am a general of the First Order, I am in my mid thirties, I-““REAL stuff Bill” Fred said. Hux didn't understand.“I don’t understand” Hux said.“Mom might care that you’re a general, or that you’ve got lot of friends or whatever, but we’re your brothers….and sister. We want to know the real you” Fred said. Hux again look confused. He looked to his left at Charlie, who Hux thought was EASILY the most sensible of the group. Charlie shrugged.“He’s referring to personal stuff. Like stuff you wouldn't tell Mom. Things you'd share with your siblings, because they’re too bad to tell your parents but you’ve got to tell someone” Charlie explained. The rest nodded and Hux still didn't understand.“Why don't you just ask me the questions and i’ll answer them” Hux said and his siblings agreed.“Are you a virgin” Ginny spat out immediately. Hux was beyond shocked and began having a coughing fit. Everyone was laughing.“I am NOT answering that” Hux said after he had finished coughing.“Oh come one. When we all got laid we’d come home and tell the group. It’s like a family tradition” George whined. Hux glared at him, but then looked out at the rest of his siblings, waiting for his answer. Hux was already tired of his younger siblings bullshit, he truly felt like a big brother.“No, I’m not a virgin. I haven't been since I was 16” Hux said. Hux hated remembering his first time. It had been with one of his fellow cadet in the top bunk of his room at the academy, and he'd thought he was in love. Idiot.Fred began laughing.“Welp, sucks for you Ron. You still hold the title of Biggest Loser” Fred said to his younger brother. Ron looked pissed and made a rude gesture at Fred. Hux looked to Charlie in confusion.“Ron was the last one of us to loose his virginity. He’s kinda sensitive about it” Charlie explained. Ron huffed.“Technically I’m not because Charlie still hasn't slept with anyone” Ron argued. Percy, who up till now had just been trying to solider on, took issue.“That because he’s asexual you dumb fuck. He doesn't count. Accept that you pined after the same girl for seven years and she was the one to make the first move because you were too chicken shit” Percy railed. Hux chuckled.“So you have a girlfriend” Hux asked. Ron sighed.“She actually my wife now” Ron said. Hux was shocked.“Your married?” Hux said, unable to keep the shock out of his voice.“He found someone that could stand the sight of him naked and he locked that shit down” Fred added. Ron flipped him of again.“Enough about Ronald, I want to hear about Bill” Ginny said, officially getting them all back on subject. Hux sighed.“Since we’re talking about wives….you got one” Ron asked. Hux couldn't hold back his laughter. He looked like a maniac.“Certainly not” Hux said.“Yeah Ron. It’s totally obvious that he's with Lord Ren” Pipped up Percy. Hux’s eyes widen and the entire room gasped in shock. Hux unfortunately felt his skin begin to heat up, and he knew he’s soon be an ugly, red, patchy, mess.“Where did you get that idea” Hux said in a very stern tone.“I didn’t think it was an idea. Aren’t you two together” Percy asked. Hux scoffed at his younger brother and shook his head.“We most certainly are not” Hux said as he looked to the other. Where he thought he would find faces that shared his befuddlement at Percy, he only saw skepticism.“Are you sure” Offered Charlie. Hux glared at him.“I think I would know if Ren and I were together” Hux said.“Really? Because you act like you're together” Charlie stated. Hux looked at him in disbelief.“You stare at him, he stares at you, you argue at each other like an old married couple, its like a sitcom with you two” George said. Hux shook his head.“I have never felt anything but contempt for Ren. He is a childish, over emotional, behemoth of a man and I would never sink so low as to have any sort of feelings for him” Hux said. Half the group shook their heads while the others rolled their eyes at their oblivious brother.“Bill, look me in the eyes and tell me you’ve never been intimate with Kylo Ren” Ginny said as she looked across at Hux. Hux began, but couldn't escape the feeling of wanting to look away.“I didn’t say I hadn’t….known him” Hux said. With his words the room erupted in cheers.“I FUCKING KNEW IT” Yelled Percy and both of the twins.“SIT DOWN I’M NOT FINISHED” Hux yelled at them.“Lord Ren and I work together and I’ll have you know that he is the most infuriating person I’ve ever had the displeasure to meet. We'd argue every single fucking time he'd walk onto my bridge and our feuds were taking a toll on our work lives. We eventually came to the decision that we should take out our frustrations with each other in a more….productive way” Hux explained to the smug smiling faces around him.“So you’re friends with benefits” George offered. Hux shot him down with a glare.“If Ren and I are anything, it is most certainly NOT friends. I’d rather throw myself into a sarlacc pit then call that child a friend” Hux said with utter distain.“But you don't mind riding his dick” Fred added. Everyone giggled, except for Hux who really wanted to go grab Ren’s lightsaber and make himself an only child.“Our arrangement is strictly professional. I can assure you that Ren doesn't have feelings for me” Hux said sternly, desperately wishing they'd move on an ask him some other sort of awkward question. His siblings looked around at each other.“Did you all hear what I heard” Percy asked.“He said Ren didn't have feelings, not that he didn’t” Fred spouted. Hux didn't say anything, and it’s not because of the reasons you might thing, it’s because those comments shouldn't be dignified with a response and he really doesn't have feelings for Ren shut up.“My love life is not a public conversation topic. Can we talk about something else?” Hux asked, growing more peeved every passing moment.“We’re sorry Bill, it’s just that your the new kid and we haven't gotten to opportunity to torture you yet” Charlie offered.“We’ve got a lot of torture to make up for” Ron agreed. Hux relaxed slightly.“But if it makes you feel better. I’m pretty sure he has feelings for you. I mean….if you’re scared of rejection, that is” Ginny offered. Hux just stared at the floor and didn't say anything ~+~+~+~ “I knew you couldn't go without my dick for two weeks” Ren said as Hux pulled away gasping for breath. Ren had woken up to a eager Hux climbing on top of him in his bed and shoving his tongue down his throat.“You’re so attractive until you open your mouth. Best keep it busy” Hux said as he dived in for another kiss. Ren chuckled into Hux’s mouth as he returned Hux’s attentions with full force. Ren couldn't help but notice that Hux looked especially hot this morning. His modified hair was rumpled and he hadn't shaved yet so he had slight ginger hairs along his jawline. Ren threaded his fingers through Hux’s hair and he loved it. Maybe he could convince Hux to actually grow it out, but fat chance of that ever happening.Hux moaned into Ren’s mouth and pulled away from him. He had a lustful look on his face which looked a thousand times better than his normal scowl, according to Ren.“My siblings found out about our arrangement” Hux admitted as he began to slip his sleep shirt over his head. Ren was taken aback by that.“How they find out” Ren asked. Hux flung his shirt behind him and returned his attention to Ren.“They asked me if we’d had sex, and I wasn't going to lie to them” Hux said as he began sliding his hand over his bare chest. Ren chuckled and Hux stopped abruptly.“What’s so funny” He asked. Ren smirked.“Nothing, it’s that practically your entire family thinks we’re together. You’re step-dad came in here last night and gave me the whole ‘if you hurt him i’ll hurt you’ speech, and your siblings seemed to have caught on” Ren said. Hux frowned down at him.“They just don't get that people can fuck each other without it meaning anything” Hux said as he is moved his hips to grind against Ren.“…..is that the case” Ren asked. Hux stopped and glared curiously at Ren.“What do you mean” Hux asked. Ren took in a deep breath and prepared for the inventible shit storm.“Do we really mean nothing to each other” Ren asked. The words it Hux like a blow to the gut. His eyes widened and his mouth parted ever so slightly in shock. He’d never in a million years expect those words to come from Ren.“I started thinking about it after Arthur confronted me….and he’s right Hux, and so are your brothers and sister. This isn't just sex anymore, and it hasn't been for a long time” Ren said. Hux looked horrified at Ren. Hux quickly climbed off Ren and jumped off the bed. He then began to cross the room to retrieve his shirt. Ren sat up and swung his legs over the side of his bed.“Hux don’t” Ren said. Hux said nothing in response and only proceeded to redress himself. Ren sighed an got up off the bed and began to walk over to Hux. Hux quickly turned to him and made him stop.“Are you actually an idiot Ren? We are not supposed to…develop feelings. This is strictly professional” Hux argued. Ren stared at Hux with pitiful eyes, hoping to gain some sort of sympathy.“Just because we weren't supposed to develop feelings doesn’t mean that we won’t” Ren said probably louder than was necessary, but Hux was starting to piss him off.“Perhaps YOU couldn't control yourself, but that has NOTHING to do with me. I am FINE” Hux said, becoming more animated. Ren felt his face scrunch up in rage.“I AM IN CONTROL” Ren yelled ironically. Hux rolled his eyes.“You know you have feelings for me Hux. You’re just to fucking stuck up to admit that you’ve succumbed to your feelings like every other lesser being” Ren argued. Hux’s face morphed in disgust and he walked over to the door, trying to leave.“The day I grow to have feelings for you is the day I defect from the First Order to be your mother’s official ass kisser” Hux said as he open the door and left the room with a dramatic slam. Kylo felt the rage inside welling up.“SHE’S ALREADY GOT ONE, HIS NAME’S POE” Was all Kylo thought to yell. ~+~+~+~ Ren sat alone in the garden next to the house trying to calm himself without destroying everything in sight. The view was actually quite beautiful for this modest little planet. Sprawling fields of some sort of grass swayed ever so slightly in the light breeze. Above him, birds with long graceful wing spans drifted onward in the light blue sky. Very different from the cold harsh environment of the Finalizer. It was also very different from Arkanis. Perhaps if Hux had grown up here instead of a barren and rainy wasteland then he’d have normal human emotions and reactions.“Somethings wrong” Molly said as she suddenly appeared standing next to Ren. Ren jumped slightly, not expecting her. Which was weird because he's like super strong with the Force….is she Force sensitive???????“I always come out here when my problems just seem to keep piling up, and it seems you do the same” Molly said as she sat down next to Ren.“I don’t have problems. I’ve just got one” Ren said, trying to be super emo and cryptic.“Does it have anything to do with Bill” Molly questioned. Ren huffed.“I don’t mean any disrespect towards you, but your son is the biggest asshole I’ve ever met, and that’s saying something” Ren ranted. Molly smirked.“Takes after his father” Molly joked. Ren smiled, and wonder how such a bitch could have come from this woman.“I probably shouldn't be talking to you about this” Ren said. Wasn’t it weird to complain about your sexual partner to their newly found mother?“Well, you don't have anyone to talk to here, and I’ve always been a really good listener” Molly offered with a smile. Ren smirked back.“Another trait your son missed out on” Ren joked. His happy mood soon dissipated.“I’m sorry if you don't want to hear this, but your son and I have been having casual sex for the past year” Ren admitted. Molly sighed and noted her head.“I’d assumed as much. You two don't act like normal co-workers” Molly said. Ren shrugged.“We weren’t normal before we started our…well he calls it an arrangement which is like the biggest cop-out I’ve ever heard of. We were always arguing and getting in each others way. We’ve kinda curbed that with sex and we are both more productive, but I really don't think I can take much more” Ren admitted.“When did you develop feelings for him” Molly asked. Ren sighed heavily.“About three months in, we slept together and he was to tired to go back to his quarters so he stayed the night. We went to sleep, not touching mind you because thats to personal for him even after I put my m….” Ren stopped and looked at Molly.“SO went we to sleep or whatever and I woke up a couple of hours later and….” Ren paused, like he was having to physically force the words out of his mouth. He averted Molly’s gaze and just stared at the dirt surrounding him.“He’d wrapped himself around me, and he had his head on my chest. His hair was all messed up and he was snoring a little bit. In all honesty he looked rough, but….he was so beautiful. He wasn't all stuck up and serious like normal, he looked like he was at peace.” Ren admitted.“I felt those….feelings come over me and I knew it was dangerous, and that he’d never want that from me, so I crawled out of bed and left to go train. I guess I thought he’d be less embarrassed that way or whatever. I don't let myself stay afterwards anymore, just in case it gets worse” Ren said ashamedly. Most people said it was therapeutic to get things off of your chest, but this felt awful.Ren didn't want to face Molly. She’d probably side with her son. She’d tell him that he was an over-sentimental fool, but it wasn't like he hadn't been told that before. Ren, however, knew he had to face the music. He couldn't ignore her forever.Ren lifted his head and looked to Molly for her reaction. She had her hand over her mouth, but that didn't cover up the fact that she was smiling. Ren was more interested in her eyes. They were warm, and had a deep fondness to them. Which felt incredibly weird because a pair of eyes the exact same shade of blue usually looked at him with utter contempt.“Lord Ren, you've just made me the happiest woman alive” Molly said. Ren was confused. Did she possibly think he was talking about her? No one is that dumb, right?“How?” Ren asked. Molly let her hand fall from her face and fall into her lap.“I’ve been so worried all these years that my poor boy has been alone, but he's not. He’s got you” Molly said she she raised her hand to tuck a wayward strand of Ren’s long hair behind his ear. Ren felt his stomach twist uncomfortably.“He may have me, but he doesn't want me. He hates me” Ren said. Molly rolled her eyes.“Lord Ren, if Bill actually hated you, he wouldn't have been sleeping with you for a year, and he wouldn't have brought you here. If actually hated you then he would have had his way with you then threw you out like yesterday’s trash” Molly said. Ren shook his head.“I’m only here to protect him from the Resistance” Ren said. Molly scoffed.“Bill drug the most powerful Force-user in the entire galaxy to a remote planet that literally NO ON in the Resistance knows I live on. Let alone that I have ANY connection to a general of the First Order. I might have understood him bringing a stormtrooper or two, but even then they would have stayed in the shuttle. He’d never invite someone he didn't care about into the home of his long lost mother and introduce them to his new family. I’ve known since the moment he broke our hug to call you over to us that he cares for you. The both of you are incredibly dense if you think that your feelings aren’t reciprocated by each other” Molly ranted. Ren didn't know what to say, but eventually one thing came to mind.“I have an idea” ~+~+~+~ “Bill can I have a word with you” Molly said as she entered the kitchen of her house to find Bill alone. Ren and her other children where off enacting Ren’s plan, but Molly felt she needed to talk some sense into her child. Hux looked up and smiled softly at her.“Of course Mummy” Hux said as he turned to face her. Molly couldn't help but smile at that. Hux had taken to calling her Mummy, maybe he was making up for his lost childhood and that should be sad, but Molly simply thought it was adorable. Molly quickly snapped herself out of her daze, she had work to do.“We need to talk about Lord Ren” she said as the stood in front of Hux. Hux’s face slide at the mention of the force user.“I apologize for whatever he has done to offend you Mummy. I really didn't think things through before I brought him here. I promise you’ll never see or hear of him again” Hux said. Molly sighed and crossed her arms.“The problem isn't Lord Ren, Bill. The problem is you” Molly said. Hux looked shocked.“What” Hux said, as if he had never been a problem before.“You have got that poor man so confused. He thinks you hate him and I would like for you to be honest with him” Molly said sternly. Hux looked at Molly like she was crazy, and he couldn't help a scoff escape his throat.“I have never felt anything but contempt for that child” Hux said. Hux then saw Molly’s face change entirely. Anger overcame her and she took on an expression that made Hux fear for his life.“WILLIAM ARTHUR WEASLEY, you do NOT lie to me in this household” Molly yelled at her son. She uncrossed one arm and started to aggressively point at him.“You have feelings for that boy wether you want to admit it or not. This whole pretense you've made might have been cute when you were a teenager, but you are A GROWN MAN. You are a general of the First Order and it is beneath you to continue to act this way. I am very disappointed in you Bill” Molly scolded. Hux looked at her, utterly defeated. Molly hated yelling at him, especially when their relationship was still so new. Just because he was new, however, doesn't mean he gets to act like a stubborn child.“Kylo is a nice man, from what I understand, and he treats you well. I don't know what’s holding you back, but you need to come to terms with this situation and handle it” Molly finished. Hux looked lost, like he’d been betrayed. Molly wanted to roll her eyes. He was overdramatic, just like his father.“Sweetheart, I love you. That’s why I’m trying to help you here. Trust me, you will be a lot happier” Molly said as he moved her hand to touch Hux’s cheek. Hux flinched a little when she touched him, which made her want to fly to Arkanis and beat the ever living shit out of Brendol Hux. Hux then leaned into the touch, like he was starved for it. That’s it, she's about to go kick some ass.“People will talk because I….because it’s us” Hux said quietly as he averted her gaze. Molly ran her thumb over her sons cheekbone and sighed softly.“Then those people obviously don’t see what I see” Molly told him. Hux looked back up at her, with a most pitiful expression.“What’s that” He asked. Molly smiled.“Two lonely men who found each other and are so afraid of loosing each other” Molly stated. A faint smiled tugged at Hux’s mouth, and a tear started to fall from his eye. Her poor overdramatic child. ~+~+~+~ Hux was sitting on the couch in the middle of the living room contemplating his life. Since his conversation with his mother, he’d yet to see Ren or any of the members of his family. They seemed to be avoiding him, which was rude. Suddenly Hux heard footsteps coming in through the door and turned to see who it was.Hux turned and saw the looming figure of Ren in the doorway. He was nervously looking at Hux, and running his large hand through his hair to busy himself. Hux felt like punching him.“Can we talk” Ren asked in his low voice. Hux didn't feel like responding, but he did it anyways because fuck Ren that’s why.“I’d rather not” Hux said in a stern tone. Ren glared at Hux in a “are you fucking kidding me” type manner.“Hux can you stop being difficult for like five seconds” Ren said as he walked towards the other man.“Can you stop intruding on my life for five seconds” Hux retorted back, standing up to confront him. Ren rolled his eyes and waved on of his large hands in front of Hux’s face. Hux assumed Ren was trying to do one of those Jedi mind tricks (which would have made him LIVID), but instead his world suddenly went dark.“what the FUCK, REN” Hux said as he suddenly found himself blinded by the Force.“You’re being difficult” Ren simply responded. Hux began to scream at him, but then he felt himself being lifted up, not by the Force, but by Ren’s tree branch like arms. Hux was thrown over Ren’s shoulder like a fucking damsel.“REN” Hux screamed. He felt and heard Ren laugh, which only made his mood twice as pissy.“Maybe if you had been less difficult, you could walk like an adult” Ren said. Hux felt Ren begin to walk beneath him. Hux tried to aim a few kicks near his groin, hoping to incapacitate him. He soon found his legs bound by the Force.“oH FOR FUCKS SAKE. If you where going to take me against my will you might as well have knocked me out” Hux huffed into Ren’s back.“We’ve still got a ways to go Hux, don't count that out just yet” Ren said. Hux remained silent, wishing to keep hold of his consciousness.Ren carried Hux for a while. The ride was beginning to become slightly painful. Ren’s shoulder was digging into Hux’s middle, and blood was rushing to Hux’s head. Hux’s weight was mostly likely putting a strain on Ren as well. The idiot could have just carried him with the Force, but he just HAD to show off. Pompous brat.“You do remember that I can read minds” Ren said. Hux grumbled angrily.“STAY. OUT. OF. MY. HEAD.” Hux said very sternly, or as sternly as one could in his position.“Your anger is very loud, I can’t help it.” Ren said.“Well if I wasn't currently slung over your shoulder like some freshly slaughtered prey, then maybe I wouldn’t be angry” Hux retaliated. Ren chuckled.“Hux, you’ve been in a constant state of anger since I first met you” Ren replied. Hux huffed.“Maybe that’s because you’ve only seen me when you’re around” Hux said. Ren suddenly stopped. Hux was lifted off of Ren’s shoulders moments later, much to his shock and joy. He still was blind however, so his anger persisted.“We’re here” Ren said. Hux crossed his arms and frowned.“Where exactly is here? I can’t SEE REN” Hux said angrily.A few seconds later and Hux’s vision slowly began to fade back in. His eyes took in the sight before him. Ren had taken him to a lake. It’s surface was like glass and perfectly reflected the dusky setting sun above it. Behind the lake were craggy looking, snow topped mountains which contrasted beautifully with the lovely spring weather he was currently enjoying.“Charlie was telling me about this lake yesterday. It seemed nice…so I thought we could visit it” Ren said at his side. Hux turned and looked at him. Ren was simply staring back at him. Something on the other side of Ren caught Hux’s attention. Beside Ren was a small table with two chairs, side by side, on the side facing the lake. It was covered in a nice lacy tablecloth and it even had a small bundle of wildflowers in a delicate vase sitting on it’s surface. Night was beginning to fall around them, and some local luminescent insects had gathered around the table and cast the setting with a low glow. It looked utterly inviting.“What’s this about” Hux said in a calm tone. Ren looked down at his feet. Hux scoffed, like he had any right to be nervous after he way he’d gotten Hux here.“We need to talk Hux, and I dragged you out here so you couldn't run away..…easily. It was your sister’s idea to make it all nice” Ren said as he looked back at….well at the romantic setting before them.“Leave it to Ginny to make things awkward” Hux said. Ren frowned in response.“Shall we” Hux said as he walked over to the nearest chair and sat down. He looked over the expanse of the lake and had to admit, his sister knew how to set a mood. Ren sat down beside him and due to the closeness of their chairs, rubbed his shoulder up against Hux. Hux looked over at Ren, who was looking at the nature in front of him. Hux took stock of his face. The soft light perfectly silhouetted his face. His long hair flowed to his shoulders in gentle curls. Hux followed the prominent slope of his nose and felt his gaze stop on the outline of his plump mouth. He noted all of the little dots that Ren hated, but Hux secretly loved.Hux suddenly felt something go TERRIBLY wrong. He didn't acknowledge it, but he knew what had just occurred.“I can’t keep doing this Hux” Ren said without looking at him.“I don’t understand why. Nothing’s changed” Hux said, knowing full well that he was lying through his teeth. Ren turned to face Hux with exasperated look.“Look me in my face and tell me ‘nothing’s changed’. Tell me that you feel the same way you did a year ago. You do that, and I’ll leave and never bother you again” Ren said with power. Hux stared back at him without saying anything.“When did it happened for you” Hux asked instead.“When did you realize that you loved me” Hux finished, slightly scared to hear the answer. Ren sighed heavily.“About three months in” Ren admitted. Hux’s eyes went wide with shock.“That quickly” Hux questioned. Ren shrugged awkwardly.“I get attached easily” He offered. Hux sighed.“Do you feel the same way about me” Ren said timidly. Hux was surprised by that. Nothing about Ren was timid, and yet here he was, scared. Scared that he’d be denied companionship…again.“I honestly couldn’t have answered that until about 30 seconds ago” Hux replied. Hux saw Ren mental prepare himself for disappointment.“What’s your answer then” Ren asked with false courage.“That, against all reason….I am in love with you” Hux said plainly. Ren’s face changed dramatically. His solemn features sprang to life. His frown became possibly the biggest smile that Hux has ever seen. His eyes lit up and they couldn't stop staring at Hux.“No, Ren” Hux said, trying to stop him.“We can’t” Hux reminded him. The happiness that Ren’s face had exuded only moments ago had utterly vanished.“What are you talking about” Ren said as if the wind had been taken out of his sails.“Us being together doesn’t work out Ren. If you and I weren't who we are, then maybe we could work this out, but we are us. You’re going to destroy the Jedi and do your magic tricks, and I’m going to make the galaxy peaceful again. We don't have the time, nor the attitudes for love.” Hux argued. Hux expected to see a hurt expression, or a disappointed expression on Ren’s face. He didn’t however. Ren was fucking PISSED.“Are you fucking kidding me? That’s your excuse. We don't have the time, nor the attitudes” Ren said, mocking Hux’s accent.“You have got to be the most asinine cowardly bastard that has ever existed” Ren shot back. Now Hux was pissed.“Cowardly? I’ve conquered half the fucking galaxy and stared down the blade of your lazersword without so much as blinking, and you call me a coward” Hux yelled. Ren shook his head.“You’re in love with me and you’re to scared to be with me. I don’t even know what the fuck you’re scared of. I’m not going to hurt you, Snoke isn't going to hurt you, and everyone else is fucking terrified of you, so what IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM” Ren yelled. Hux’s words where caught in his throat. He opened his mouth but nothing would come out.“SPEAK UP YOU SHIT HEAD” Ren yelled at him. Hux only looked at him, scared to reply.“ARE YOU TO SHY TO EVEN TALK TO ME NOW” Ren kept yelling.“I WONDER WHAT YOUR ARMIES WOULD THINK ABOUT THEIR COWARD OF A GENERAL, TO AFRAID TO ADMIT HE’S IN LOV-““IT’S MY MOTHER YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE” Hux yelled back, having enough of Ren’s barrage. Ren’s face morphed into confusion.“How?….She loves us” Ren said quietly. Hux wanted to applauded his ability to switch moods at the drop of a hat….ass.“I’m not afraid of her approval….I’m afraid of her fate” Hux admitted. Ren still didn't seem to understand.“She made the mistake of falling in love with someone, and she paid dearly for it” Hux reminded Ren. Ren shook his head.“Hux, she had sex with your father once. She didn't love him” Ren offered.“You’re wrong. She did love him. When she got pregnant, my father said he’d leave his wife after she had me. So she gave me to him, and waited for the divorce. What she got was a relocation to another planet, and the knowledge that she’d never see her son again. The only thing love ever did for her was break her heart” Hux ranted. Ren sighed and placed his hand on the side of Hux face. He ran his thumb over Hux’s high cheek bone and smiled.“When she was relocated, she met a new man. They feel deeply in love. They had a family together. She created a wonderful and happy life. The only thing that broke her heart was your father. I have no husband Hux, you aren't pregnant, and the only person that would even attempt to order you anywhere is me, and I have no intentions of you leaving my sight for a long time. What happened to your mother was awful, but it doesn't mean it will happen to you” Ren said.“What about Sno-““Every Sith must overtake his master at some point. If he comes between us, it will be his undoing” Ren reassured. Hux looked at Ren in disbelief.“You’d….for me?” He asked, the words not needing to be actually spoken. Ren’s face became stoic.“I’d lay waste to the entire galaxy. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you” Ren responded. Hux felt the corners of his mouth turn up into a slight smile. The destruction of worlds made him happy, who’d have thought. (literally everyone) ~+~+~+~ “Can you see them” Ginny said as she shoved one of her brother’s heads out of her line of vision.“I’m trying, but Fred keeps knocking into me” Said Percy with a large pair of binoculars up to his eyes.“OI, It’s Ron’s fault. He keeps pushing me” Fred retorted.“Only because you’re stepping on my fucking feet” Ron shot back.“WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP” Growled Percy.“Oh I’m sorry. Is our loudness impeding your vision” George said sarcastically. Percy scoffed.“I’ll impede your vision” He replied.“Grade A comeback there Perc” George mocked.“I’m trying to determine whether or not Bill’s pulled his head out of his ass. I don't have time to argue with you like a six year old” Percy argued like a 6 year old (with an impressive vocabulary).“This is why I hate men” Ginny said as she watched her brothers argue. Charlie huffed and nudged her with his elbow.“I can think of one man you don't hate” He joked. Ginny gave him a glare that could have cut through steel.“I THINK THEY’RE KISSING” Percy shouted. All of the siblings turned their heads in the direction of their eldest brother and his "friend", even if Percy was the only one who could see.“Watching your brother kissing? You’re an interesting kind of pervert aren't you Percy” Fred said.“I WILL END YO-““What are you all doing out here”“NOTHING MUM” ~+~+~+~ “That was a lovely ceremony dear” Molly said as she looked lovingly across a grand table at her eldest son. Hux smiled back.“Thank you, mummy. I really wanted to start the empire off as grandly as I could” Hux said.“It’s a shame you had to use your given name instead of your real one” She said offhandedly and Hux nodded in agreement.“Did it have to be so long? We all got the gist about 30 minutes in. We get it, you own us” Whined Fred from his seat at the table. Hux rolled his eyes.“Behave” Growled Molly before Hux could say anything. The rest of the table, the majority of which being Hux’s family, snickered.“Besides it wasn't just one ceremony now was it Fred” Ginny teased. Hux felt a blush and a smile creeping over his features. He looked to his right and looked at the person sitting next to him. The person that’d be at his side for the rest of his life, starting today.Ren was beautiful, as always. He’d taken to the role of Emperor Consort quite well (considering he’s only officially had the job for a few hours). He decided a while ago that he should stop focusing on his grandfather, and that he should take a page or two from his grandmother’s book. At first, Hux wasn't sure about Ren galavanting around looking he'd been trapped in a chandelier, but Ren pulled it off with a grace that Hux did not think he'd had in him. Today he was in a voluminous white gown, with a very high neck and no back what so ever. It made no damn sense to Hux, but Ren looked fine as hell. Ren also had little pearls dotted throughout his black hair, and they contrasted quite lovely. A silver circlet, similar to Hux’s gold one, was also adorned in his hair. Ren hadn’t just stopped at his hair and clothing, he’d also made up his face. Ren had black makeup smoked around his eyes, two red dots on his cheeks, and the iconic lipstick pattern only worn by Naboo’s Queens. Ren didn't seem to care that he wasn't Queen of Naboo, it seemed trivial when you rule over the entire galaxy instead.“HUX” said the beautifully painted mouth before him. Hux snapped out of his reverence.“Listen, I know I’m hot and all but you gotta stop staring at me all the time. It isn't very imperial” Ren joked. Hux rolled his eyes.“I am Emperor. Everything I do is imperial” Hux argued. Ren smirked and leaned in close to Hux.“Does that make me imperial” Ren whispered so no one could hear, except for the nearby Charlie who had grimaced at the words Ren had just said. Hux sighed, Ren exhausted him.“So Ronny, does it make you sad that you aren't the family monarch anymore” George jutted in, not wanting to watch his brother and brother-in-law make out on the table. Ron’s hands felt to the table and he gave his brother an “are you fucking shitting me” look. Ginny nearly choked on her own spit after she burst into laughter. This confused Hux.“Family Monarch?” Hux questioned. A few more snickers erupted around the table before Ginny composed herself.“Ron was our King at school because he was our goalkeeper and he’d never let the other team score points on us” Ginny said.“But it started out because he was so shit at it that he basically let the other team win every game, and they proclaimed him their King. That is, until we took it back and made it our own." George said.“Language” Molly chided.“Can’t we stop talking about it?” Ron said, trying to get the subject changed.“Oh but you love it when the entire school was all over you, especially Laven-“ Percy began.“OI SHUT IT”“BOYS” Molly yelled at her sons.“We are here to celebrate Bill’s big day, NOT watch you two scratch each other's eyes out. So BEHAVE” Molly yelled at her sons. A hush fell over the table, but Ren seemed to have no issue with the awkwardness of two grown men being yelled at by their mother.“Well, I don't see any reason to keep calling you that Ron” Ren started.“I mean, Weasley isn't our King” Ren said. He then turned to face Hux, who was doing the same.“Weasley is our Emperor” Ren said with a cocky grin, which Hux rolled his eyes at.Ren smiled and leaned close into his husband, gently placing his lips onto Hux’s own, and all was well.
10451148	hollow boned and	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "Gen", "Characters": "Yoo Kihyun, Son Hyunwoo \| Shownu", "Fandom": "Monsta X (Band)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by andnowforyaya", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-26T00:00:00", "words": "1,083", "Additional Tags": "Sickfic, Body Image, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Mild Hurt/Comfort", "Relationship": "Son Hyunwoo \| Shownu/Yoo Kihyun", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "monsta x drabbles", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	It wasn’t his fault he got sick. The weather fluctuated in extremes, hot and sunny one day and cold and rainy the next. Snow, ice, wind, sun. Repeat. They slept for little over two hours at a time during comeback preparations, and Kihyun sometimes even less than that, because he couldn’t bear the thought of messing up on the choreo during one of their performances.It started as a little, horrible itch in the back of his throat and escalated into a full-blown fever in the span of a day, complete with the chills, muscle aches, nausea. They laid him in one of the bottom bunks and put a bin next to him in case he needed to vomit and he was reminded of being a child staying home sick from school. He missed his mother’s porridge, her gentle, cool hand across his brow. He slept, wasted precious time recovering.The days bled into one another. Their manager brought him to the hospital at one point for a check-up and a boost, though he didn’t remember the needle in his arm, or the trip, after. He remembered being violently ill for the rest of the night, remembered how he thought this was his body getting back to him, for everything he’d put it through. Remembered Hyunwoo’s broad hand rubbing his shoulders, his fingers pushing back Kihyun’s hair.“You’ll be okay,” he’d said, helping Kihyun wash his face. Kihyun felt like a baby, helpless, wordless. His stomach was as empty as his mind. Hyunwoo bundled him into a hoodie and half-carried him back to the bunk, where Kihyun slept until morning..It had passed by the time Kihyun opened his eyes again. This is what had happened while he was sick: Hoseok put on another five pounds of pure muscle, and they pushed back promotions for another two weeks. Kihyun examined himself in the mirror in the bathroom. He’d lost the fullness in his cheeks, and the little bit of fluff around his stomach. His sweats sat loose around his hips; he’d had to tighten the drawstring that morning.He pinched his own side, and the skin was tighter than it had been. He felt light. It felt good..It was easy to pretend that he was eating. Snack in front of the others and claim he was too full to join them for meals, that his stomach was still too sensitive. They were distracted with practice, preparations, rehearsals. Kihyun was distracted, too. The structure of his bones was starting to appear. He was so slender, and hollow. Beautiful, like their title song.His voice rang out in that high falsetto, resonant and echoing. He felt autonomous. He controlled what he put in his mouth and he controlled what came out. Two hours of sleep was more than enough, and the dance was becoming so ingrained into his muscles that he thought he could do it half-dead.He remembered looking into the wall of mirrors in their practice studio and seeing how small he was compared to the others, delicate. He remembered black spots dancing in front of his vision. The drag of his breath against his throat. Minhyuk was saying something to him, but Kihyun’s ears were ringing. He blinked to clear the noise but the dizziness only got worse. His head was spinning. He was disappearing. He remembered how that thought made him smile..Kihyun awoke to a gray light in the bedroom. It was raining. The droplets pitter-pattered against the window like hundreds of tiny birds trying to get inside. Hyunwoo was sitting on a stool next to the bed, his head bowed, his elbows on his knees. The Thinker, Kihyun thought. But that wasn’t right. Hyunwoo looked so defeated.“Hyung,” Kihyun tried, but his throat was dry and scratchy. He swallowed around it, eyes prickling at the pins and needles going down his esophagus. He couldn’t get sick again. He dragged his feet over the sheets on the bed, trying to get comfortable. Who had put him here?Hyunwoo looked up at him. There was darkness under his eyes. Kihyun blanched.“This has to stop,” Hyunwoo said. His voice was so low and gentle, so unassuming. Kihyun bit into his bottom lip and pretended not to know what he was talking about.“Starving yourself,” Hyunwoo said bluntly, when Kihyun didn't respond. He was blunt about everything. “We all noticed,” Hyunwoo said. “At first we thought it was just because you had been sick, but now I see it’s more than that. You need to eat.”The thought made Kihyun’s throat close up. He looked at Hyunwoo, rendered mute, and clutched at the sheets around him, pulling them tighter over his body.“You’re not just hurting yourself,” Hyunwoo said. He’d practiced these words, Kihyun could tell. In a way, he was proud of Hyunwoo for it. He’d come far as a leader. “You’re hurting the rest of the group, too.”Pain and guilt lanced through Kihyun’s chest, and he started to cry, quiet and unmoving.Hyunwoo continued hastily, seeing the tears, and said, “Because we care about you, and we don’t want to see you hurt. Kihyun, did someone put you up to this?”Kihyun shook his head, but that was a lie. He could see the way the stylists appreciated his efforts. His head resounded with the praise of those who worked together to make the group presentable to the public. He’d lost the roundness of his cheeks and the make-up artist had squealed with delight at being able to properly contour and highlight around his cheekbones.“I just wanted to look good,” Kihyun mumbled miserably, feeling small, petty, shallow. His eyes were wet. He sniffed and wondered how disgusting he looked to Hyunwoo right now.As though reading his thoughts, Hyunwoo reached forward to thread his fingers through Kihyun’s hair, and Kihyun closed his eyes against the soft touch. “You looked good,” Hyunwoo said. “You always look good. Please, Kihyun, can you eat a little something for me right now?”There was concern in Hyunwoo’s eyes, trepidation in his fingers. Kihyun felt like he was sick all over again, like Hyunwoo was bundling him into a hoodie and taking his temperature and holding his hand through the night. He’d made Hyunwoo worry. He’d made them all worry. Kihyun said, heart thumping in his chest, “I can try.”Hyunwoo smiled at him. He leaned over him so that he could kiss Kihyun’s forehead. “That’s all I ask for,” he said..
10447593	vroom vroom	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "Other", "Characters": "Wolfy - Character, Howling - Character, Sinn - Character, Grace - Character, Gracecar - Character", "Fandom": "AATS/Anti Art Theft Squad", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by ArtistGracie", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-26T00:00:00", "words": "357", "Additional Tags": "why did I make this, Memes, vroom, hi aats friends if you're reading this, gas stations, joke story", "Relationship": "Memes/gas station", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "AATS Shenanigans", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Sinn repeated her last sentence. "Getting...getting as? Getting gas! G A S" her final word dripped with memes and the others standing at the gas station joined in. "GASOLINE" yelled Howling, sitting in Wolfy's car."vroom vroom gtfo my car" said Wolfy, wanting Howling to get out of his car."K" said Howling, jumping out of Wolfy's car.Sinn continued in confusion, re-reading the memepaper in front of her. "I read that as getting gas", she exclaimed, then shouted in vain, "W H I C H G A S?"Suddenly, Grace said "vroom vroom", as if she was imitating a car. Then, with a "rrrrrrrrrrr" she turned into a car and drove away from the gas station.Reaching a red light, the Gracecar slowed down with a "shssssssssssss". She waited and waited for the light to change, until it did. "rrrrrrrrr", the Gracecar said, driving away into the distance.Back at the gas station, everyone was still confused about gas."W H I C H G A S", Sinn yelled again.Far away from the gas station now, the Gracecar came to another red light, and stopped with a "sssssssshs" and a honk because she wanted to and there's no police in memeland.The light changed again and once more she took to the road with a "rrrrrrrrr"."W H I C H G A S" Sinn yelled, voice dripping with even more memes than before. "W H I C H G A STOOP" she shouted to the air."W H I C H G A S S A T I O N", Howling joined in."7/11" Wolfy responded from the other side of the gas station.Suddenly, a meme fell from the sky! Nobody took notice of the meme, however, as they were used to seeing memes in memeland."IT SEEMS JUST ABOUT I'M GOING TO DESPAIR THERE'S A 7/11 RIGHT THERE" Howling shouted. Suddenly, by the magic of Heathers references, Grace was turned back into her non-car self and teleported back to the gas station!Then a Let It Grow meme destroyed the gas station and everybody's questions were answered.The end.
10493634	The secret in those eyes	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": null, "Characters": "Katara (Avatar), Toph Beifong, Suki (Avatar), Aang (Avatar), Sokka (Avatar), Zuko (Avatar), The Gaang", "Fandom": "Avatar: The Last Airbender", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by LilyAmelia", "chapters": "2/?", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-29T00:00:00", "words": "3,043", "Additional Tags": "Vigilante AU, Modern-ish Au?, how does one tag these things?", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Katara/Zuko (Avatar), Aang/Toph Beifong, Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Blue Spirit/Painted Lady", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	The Secret In Those Eyes (Behind The Mask And The Disguise) Part 1 Katara gets it, okay? What they’re doing- it’s almost necessary. Sure, the world may be a better place ever since General Iroh overthrew his brother to become Fire Lord ten years ago, and proclaimed the start of a new era of peace. Republic City was founded, a place where people from all nations can live in harmony. But just because they can doesn’t mean they do. Some of Fire Nation locals are unhappy, wistfully thinking of the days when their homeland was a powerhouse. Others from the Earth Kingdom want complete independence from a nation they deem to be tyrannical. Just because it’s better doesn’t mean it’s perfect. Riots erupt, despite- or maybe because of- Crown Prince Zuko’s place as head of the police department. Petty crime rates keep climbing. Little old ladies are being threatened on the streets by thugs with sharp, pointy objects. The four of them- Suki, Toph, Aang and her- decide to take the easier, day-to-day matters into their own capable hands. With masks, of course. So yeah, she gets it. Sometimes the world needs vigilantes. But, dammit. Do their methods of distraction always have to include her getting her flirt on? Especially with someone as sleazy as the Freedom Fighter? He’s lurking at the corner of the street opposite the store. Dark eyes gleam from behind a black cloth and a strand of grass hangs from the corner of his lips. There’s no missing the two sharp grappling hooks dangling from his belt, glinting in the moonlight. "Ah, the Painted Lady. A sight for sore eyes, as always," he purrs. Purrs. A shudder runs through her body, but Katara is nothing but a consummate professional. And she can’t deny that there’s something about putting on her disguise that makes her feel attractive, beautiful. Sexy. "Right back at you, handsome." She slinks closer, taking full advantage of the way her dress and cloak billow behind her, accentuating the air of mystery that comes with her costume. She knows the red paint on her face make her blue eyes stand out even more. He’s about to rob a jewelry store in one of the classier areas of Republic City. Katara’s all for the sharing of riches and fighting against inequality, but this guy hurts people- innocent people- and she can’t stand for that. She won’t turn her back on people who need her- no matter their social status or where they work. The plan is for her to distract him with her ‘feminine wiles’, as Toph puts it, and for the rest of the team to sneak into the store to warn the staff and customers. Simple, concise, direct. In and out, no one gets hurt. But he just had to start getting handsy, didn’t he? That’s how Suki, Aang and Toph find him frozen to the wall ten minutes later, a piece of cloth torn from her veil tied around his mouth. Katara is standing close, a water whip in hand and a furious glare twisting her make-up. "Huh, couldn’t help himself, could he?" Toph quips, readjusting the black band that covers her milky green eyes. Suki shakes her head sagely. "It’s the dress, Bandit. It’s always the dress." Dry, cheeky expression hidden behind the thick layer of her Kyoshi Warrior face paint, she sends Katara a wink. The waterbender snorts. As the girls turn to leave, Aang looks over at the thief with a worried expression. "Is he going to be alright there, frozen like that?"Katara waves dismissively. "He’s going to be fine, Arrows. It’ll melt before he can catch a cold. Besides, I dropped an anonymous call to the police, they should be over here in minutes. We should get out of here before they see us."Aang shrugs, jogging to catch up with them. He brushes past Katara and Suki to slip his hand through Toph’s. Suki falls in step with Katara, tucking her fan into her belt. With her full warrior regalia and heavy make-up, there’s little doubt that the woman dressed up as a mythical Kyoshi Warrior is the leader of their little band of vigilantes. The teasing sparkle in her eyes as she glances at Katara, however, makes her look like a teenager."He seemed kind of cute. With the mask, anyway," she says with a false sense of airiness. "Pity he was such an ass."Katara rolls her eyes at her friend’s conversational tone. She knows a hidden agenda when she sees it. "Just because I’m over Haru doesn’t mean I want to jump in another relationship, Suki." Especially not with someone like the Freedom Fighter. Ew. "Besides, we can’t all have what they have," she gestures towards Toph and Aang, "or what you and my brother have. I’m cool with that."Suki cocks her head to the side. "Yeah, huh. Who’d have thought Toph’s weird fear of dancing would have brought them that much closer? But if you think about it," she giggles, "only Aang could have handled having his feet stepped on so many times.""And who would have thought you’d be such a cliché, falling for your saviour?" Katara teases her friend."Hey! He got me out of prison, okay? Cut a girl some slack." Suddenly, the good humour slips from her face. "He hates it, that I keep doing this. If he knew I dragged his sister and her friends into it as well, he’d-""He doesn’t need to know." Katara cuts her off, a fierce expression etched into her dark features. "You didn’t drag us, Suki. We practically begged you. I’m an adult now, I don’t need his permission. Things have to change around here."After a second, her friend straightens her shoulders and nods. "Yeah, I guess you’re right."Katara jerks her chin towards the couple before them. "Go ahead, I’ll join you guys later. I’ll make sure the police come."Once the rest of the group is out of sight, Katara focuses her attention on the man she glued to the wall, keeping her eyes and ears peeled for a police siren. Indeed, the black car appears minutes later. Sokka steps out of the vehicle, his face a picture of frustration."Where the hell are you, Zuko?" She manages to catch his irritated grumble before he hauls off the thief into the car.Right. She forgets, sometimes, that her brother is partnered with the Chief of the police department. Who also happens to be the Crown Prince. Who also seems to be a useless shit- no matter how much Sokka appears to like him. The city’s in shambles and he’s doing nothing about it.A thud behind her catches her attention, and as she turns, she spots something- someone- crumple to the ground before her. She feels a scream rise in her chest but the sound is muffled by a gloved hand that clamps over her mouth. Another dark figure comes into view, brandishing a knife. With a twist, her captor’s free arm knocks out the second assailant with the handle of his dao sword.She’s still reeling from the unexpected attack when she finds herself tugged into a narrow cul-de-sac by her captor, who promptly releases her only to push her against the wall. Katara blinks, before her blue eyes widen comically."You!" She hisses. Black painted eyes stare back at her from a menacing blue mask. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- The Secret In Those Eyes (Behind The Mask And The Disguise) Part 2 "You!" It’s the Blue Spirit. Katara’s never met him before, but she’s heard stories. Tales of his grace and stealth, of his flawless swordsmanship. He first appeared at the beginning of Fire Lord Iroh’s reign, when certain members of the royal entourage refused to accept the change in power and in policies. He slowly built a reputation taking down corrupt politicians and traitorous guards. No one knows who he is. He works alone. Suki’s a big fan. At her outburst, he clamps once again a hand over her mouth, shaking his head. He leans forward, pressing his body against hers to look over her shoulder, out onto the street. Katara fidgets indignantly, wondering if he’s ever heard of personal space. He seems to register their current position and takes a step back, his hand dropping from her mouth. With the mask on, she can’t see his face, but something about his posture looks almost... apologetic. "I’ve heard of you. The Blue Spirit." Adjusting her hat, she surveils him warily. "I didn’t really need your help back there. I would have taken care of them." He doesn’t say anything, but a noise that sounds suspiciously like a snort comes from behind the mask. Right. Apparently, he’s not a big talker, either. "It’s true!" She’s feeling mildly offended now. "I’m a pretty good waterbender. And I’ve been doing this for years." If the way he reaches behind his back to unsheathe his broad swords is any indication, he’s taken her words as a challenge. He settles into a defensive position, and Katara swears he’s smirking. "Oh, for La’s sake, I’m not going to fight you! This is stupid, we’re on the same side," she grumbles. At least, she thinks they are. She doesn’t actually know anything about the guy. He returns his swords to his back and leans against the wall, crossing his arms. As he tilts his head to the side, it feels like he’s studying her. The small blind alley suddenly seems even smaller. She tugs at her veil. "But, anyway..." She clears her throat. "Thanks. I guess. For earlier." He still doesn’t answer- it’s so frustrating! Why is she even bothering? With a huff, she spins on her heels. She’s taken a few steps when he grabs her bicep. "It’s dangerous." His voice is low, muffled by the mask, but it doesn’t stop Katara’s heart from skipping a beat in her chest. "What?" He shakes his head. "What you’re doing. You’re a great bender, I saw that earlier- with the Freedom Fighter. But you don’t know how dangerous it is." Katara blinks, incredulous. She’s in a strange limbo between flattered and insulted, unsure as to how she should react. So she decides to go for good old trusty sarcasm. "Um. Yeah, you’re right," she scoffs. "How would I know how dangerous it is to defend my city?" Righteous anger- the kind that has fueled her ever since she was a child, that has brought her to this exact moment in time- pulses through her veins. He makes a move, like he’s about to interrupt, but she cuts him off. She’s having none of it. Not now. "We’ve got a chief of police to take care of our safety, anyway. Oh wait, that’s right. He’s not doing anything about it! This city’s crumbling from the inside and he doesn’t care!" She’s so caught up in her own fury she doesn’t notice the way she’s got him backed against the wall, palm pressing into his chest. "Of course he does!" The Blue Spirit’s outburst takes Katara by surprise, stunning her into silence. "You have no idea!" Katara drops her hand and her eyes drift to his clenched fists by his side. The only source of light comes from a flickering lamppost fifteen feet away, but she’s sure she sees smoke rising from his curled fingers. "He may be chief of police here in Republic City, but he’s also the Fire Nation Prince. He’s being watched twenty-four seven. Every single move he makes is noted, registered, analyzed- to be thrown back in his face or used against the royal family." She hears him sigh, and despite the muffled quality of his voice, there’s no mistaking the defeat in his tone. "He sees it all. The hunger. The disparities. He can’t fight the way you do, but trust me- it doesn’t mean he cares any less. He’s trying to make things better. For everyone. You just... you just have to give him some time." The defeat makes way for a newfound fervor, and Katara is struck by the sudden need to see his eyes. Eyes, she’s been told, never lie. "Fine." She licks her lips, attempting to sound flippant. "I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. For now." The Blue Spirit ducks his head. "He thanks you for it," he replies gruffly. There’s a minute of awkward silence during which the two vigilantes shuffle their feet and cautiously avoid each other’s gazes. Well, Katara avoids his- she can’t tell what’s going on behind that infuriating mask. Oh, but she sort of wants to, though. "I should get going," she says finally, making her way out of the alley. She halts in front of the knocked-out bodies. "What about these guys?" The Blue Spirit shakes his head. "Don’t worry about it. I’ll deal with them." She hesitates for a second before lifting her shoulders in a small shrug. Her eyebrows shoot up when he takes a step to follow her. "You’re not going to chaperone me, are you?" The mask emits a sound that closely resembles a laugh. "No, I’m not. I’ve bee told you can take care of yourself." He reaches out to brush his gloved hands against her bare elbow. It’s the lightest of touches, but it’s enough to send a spark straight to her spine. "Stay safe, though." The tiny action perturbs her. Wordlessly, Katara nods, before dashing out of the alley into the night. She forces herself not to look back. The Blue Spirit watches the Painted Lady turn the corner and lets out a breath. Digging into his pocket, he whips out his phone to make a call. It takes the black car a quarter of an hour to turn up. When it pulls to a stop, he hauls the two unconscious assailants onto the backseat. Making sure there isn’t anyone around, he slips off his mask and gets into the front passenger seat, where his colleague- and let’s be honest, one of his only friends- glares at him. "You’re going to get killed one day doing this, Zuko." Zuko shoots his partner a cynical look. "Because working for the police force is so safe." "It isn’t the same, and you know it." Sokka shakes his head and groans. "As prince and chief of police, of course you’re going to have opposers. You can’t please everyone with whatever decisions you make. But the Blue Spirit has a target painted on his back. He’s made specific enemies, violent ones. Who’ll stop nothing to get revenge for the wrongs they believe have been done to them." "You’re talking about Zhao." "Of course I am!" Sokka cries, running a hand through his hair and messing up his wolf-tail. "He was an ass to Prince Zuko. But he almost got the Blue Spirit murdered. Excuse me for not wanting you to die." He rubs his face with one hand, the other gripping the wheel tightly. "Plus, can you imagine the reactions of the people when they find out the Prince of the Fire Nation is gallivanting around in a mask to fight crime?"Zuko’s jaw ticks as he stares out of the window. "They are going to have to deal with it, because I’m not stopping, Sokka. I’m doing this for them."The information he receives as the Blue Spirit is astounding compared to what he gets as part of the police, or even as royalty. With a mask on, the hierarchy fades, his position of authority vanishes. People see him as an equal, as one of them.And there’s a part of him that revels in being someone else, in not being Zuko for a while. He’s never been a prodigal firebender. His father has taken extreme pleasure in pointing it out incessantly throughout his childhood, as his sister Azula- perfect, precocious, proficient Azula- smirks by his side. Mastering the dao swords has therefore been a major source of personal pride, but one he can’t publicly share with others.After all, he thinks bitterly, it’s beneath royalty to use a sword for combat.But as the Blue Spirit, however... his hard-earned skill saves lives.Sokka’s voice tears him away from his thoughts. "What were you doing, anyway?""I got a tip about the Freedom Fighter’s plan to rob the Crystal Catacombs. By the time I got there, the Kyoshi Warrior and her crew were dealing with it- well, the Painted Lady was dealing with him- so I stood back to watch a little. Then she got sort of ambushed, so I lent a hand." Zuko shrugs a little sheepishly. "Sorry I forgot to call you. She did a good job, though. You saw that."Sokka guffaws. "You bet she did- the state that first guy was in, phew!" He shoots Zuko a side look. "So, what’s the Painted Lady like? She’s quite mysterious, that one."The firebender lowers his head to stare at the mask in his hand, his fingers absently tracing the white markings. He recalls the raw power as she slammed a wave into the thief, the barely suppressed anger in each of her movements as she dodged his double hooks and raised her hands to form a water whip. She fought unlike any waterbender he’s ever seen. It was mesmerizing.And he remembers those piercing blue eyes behind the veil, challenging and probing, demanding things from him she didn’t even realize she was asking.Something twists in his stomach- something he hasn’t felt in a long time.Zuko looks up and catches Sokka’s gaze in the rearview mirror. "She’s... " The faintest of smiles appears on his lips. "She’s definitely something."His friend grins, a teasing glint in his eyes. "Zuko. My man. It’s been a while."Before Zuko can protest, Sokka lets out a gleeful cry as he looks out the window. "Ooh, what do you say about making a pit-stop before getting back to the station? I’m suddenly craving some deep friend chicken.""Sure, let’s do that." Zuko shakes his head in amusement at his partner’s delight.He shuts his eyes with a soft sight, leaning his head against the window, and proceeds to lose himself in thoughts of veiled, painted red lips and long dark curls.
10412751	houston in the blind	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Domhnall Gleeson, Oscar Isaac, Alicia Vikander", "Fandom": null, "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by goddesspharo", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-23T00:00:00", "words": "2,669", "Additional Tags": "Alternate Universe - Space", "Relationship": "Domhnall Gleeson/Alicia Vikander", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "Actor RPF, Irish Actor RPF", "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Domhnall has already been drunk for the better part of a week when NASA unexpectedly calls. The unspoken luxury of being on the B-team is that there are only two possible outcomes: the mission goes off without a hitch or it gets scrubbed because someone discovers a gas leak on launch day. Either way, neither option requires that the second string remain sober while their golden child doppelgangers train daily and prepare for lives without excess. When it is a foregone conclusion that varsity is going to state, the only responsibility JV has is to sit back and enjoy the all-expenses-paid trip to the superdome. It is no wonder then that Domhnall almost misses the call. At first, he can't hear the ringing over the loud hum of the motel's shitty air conditioner, but when he goes to grab the bottle of beer from his bedside table, he sees his phone dancing like there's an earthquake. Even after wiping his fingers on his shorts, it takes three unsuccessful swipes before his phone recognizes the motion of his sweaty thumb. "Congratulations, Mr. Gleeson," the far sounding voice on the other end says. "You're moving up to the major leagues." "I'm not following," he mumbles because it is honestly a struggle to put that many words together when his head is swimming from the foolish combination of tequila shots and way too much bourbon that he had with Clemence earlier. They'd consumed enough to put down a burly rugby team and yet the furthest he had gotten was his hand up her skirt before she kicked him out of her room in the name of a friendship that Domhnall was fairly certain they did not possess. NASA director Garland tells him that Flight Surgeon Eddie Redmayne grounded Felicity Jones because her measles titers returned undetectable. Given the crew's recent promotional trip to Disneyland, a hot bed of communicable disease and unvaccinated children, NASA simply could not risk the success of a multibillion dollar endeavor by sending her to Mars. "You're going to space in three days, son." Domhnall blacks out right as Garland tells him to report to work in eight hours. * There is a certain camaraderie that forms between astronauts when they go through training together, the early morning calls and hours spent in flight simulators designed to test their grit and fortify a sense of teamwork until they align like Tetris pieces. It's the grown up version of bonding with your cabin mates at sleep away camp. Domhnall himself forged a similar bond with his trio of alternates, but theirs was based on the shared wink wink nudge nudge knowledge that they were getting away with a government-sponsored spring break. They didn't learn about each other by observing how they function under times of simulated catastrophe but rather by how well they guessed the names of historical figures based on obtuse clues given during nightly drinking games. It is very difficult to walk into one of these pre-existing connections, especially three days before being jettisoned off to spend the next six months together, but NASA orders the others to play nice and accepts that as good enough before shoving Domhnall in a simulator with them for a crash course. Jones doesn't exactly give him her blessing when she passes on the baton and now, as Domhnall slips into her seat and fumbles to adjust the straps to fit his taller frame, he can feel his new teammates watching him the way guards observe a prisoner on transport. "Commander Isaac," Domhnall greets with a nod once he's situated. "Ready on your mark, sir." There is a beat so long and silent that even Mission Control doesn't make a sound before the corner of the other man's lips curl up. "You call me Commander Isaac and I look around for my pops. It's just Oscar. You ready to make history?" Domhnall thinks he hears someone on comms breathe a sigh of relief. When he glances over at command module pilot Alicia Vikander, she looks away with a frown. * There is something a touch mortifying to have just his father be there the night before the launch so Domhnall is grateful to Rachel for coming to see him off as well. They had gone on one date while she was rebounding from her rebound but it was so disastrous that it felt like twenty bad dates looped together into a singularly forgettable experience. The only thing unexpected about it was the friendship that bloomed afterwards with Rachel calling Domhnall for reassurance every time a new nice guy relationship imploded and Domhnall asking for favors like "please don't make me look like a friendless loser in front of the other astronauts" at times like this. "Don't overfeed my cat, McAdams," he warns again across the chain link fence between civilians and spacemen. "I don't want to come home to Garfield." "Bring me back something that matches your hair," Rachel calls out, flipping him the bird before squeezing his fist goodbye. Domhnall watched her slip into the passenger seat of his father's Buick, the dust kicking up behind their back tires when they drive away a second later. Domhnall's attention drifts to his left where Oscar is sucking face with a high maintenance blonde with endless legs who definitely did not get that engagement ring from him. Even further past them, Alicia speaks in tense whispers with her asshole boyfriend. The solar system may be vast but the astronaut community is fairly small so it takes Domhnall less than ten seconds to recognize Fassbender, a shark who had gone to Berkeley with him and carried a notorious reputation for dating with an all-you-can-eat buffet mentality. "Fuck you, Michael," he hears Alicia spit back before turning on her heels and walking away at a quick clip while both Domhnall and her now presumably ex-boyfriend ogle her ass. * The basic outline of the Ex Machina mission is as follows: once they leave the Earth's orbit and go dark, they put the ship in autopilot and settle into hibernation pods timed for 39 days, which should be how long it takes to arrive if Mars truly is at perihelion and Earth is at aphelion, the closest the two planets have ever come in recorded history. The first part of the plan goes off without a hitch. They eat dinner under the glow of their home planet, all at once so vast and yet so small. Mission Control makes them do a complete systems check one last time and they each redo the calculation for coordinates to Mars before Alicia enters their destination for the onboard computer. "Have a good sleep," Mission Control says before signing off for good. They shed the goofy silver jumpsuits to reveal what amounts to skimpy black speedos underneath. Domhnall has seen Alicia in far more revealing clothes in the locker room alone but something about the way she moves throughout the ship so freely in what looks like a tube top and glorified boy shorts as she helps lock Oscar into his pod quickens Domhnall's pulse. All he wants to do in that moment is peel off her obscenely short shorts with his teeth and trace a path up her tanned legs until he becomes intimately familiar with her taste and the only sound on the ship is his name from her lips. Suddenly Domhnall wishes he was the one tasked with setting the autopilot after the other two had gone into stasis so that he could lock her in and then take care of any boners that should arise before he going into REM sleep for a month. "Sweet dreams," Alicia says almost tenderly as she brushes Domhnall's hair off his forehead before closing him in. Domhnall thinks about oil spills and dead puppies until he drifts off. * Predictably he is the last to wake up from deep sleep, his hair slightly longer and his face covered by a ginger beard. Domhnall's first thought is thank God I'm still alive followed quickly by an acute awareness that something isn't right. As he pushes out of his bed for the past 39 days, he can hear Alicia rapidly tapping on a keyboard. "Snap out of it, Sleeping Beauty," Oscar shouts in his direction. "We have a problem and I could sure use an astrophysicist to break down for me how fucked we are in layman terms." It turns out that even the best laid plans have a way of going off the deep end when there's no human element to troubleshoot problems as they are occurring. As best as Domhnall can figure, there was a piece of meteorite in their path that no one predicted and just the slightest impact was enough to push them far enough off their pre-set path that the system could no longer course correct itself. "So where are we?" Alicia asks impatiently. "Nowhere close to Mars," he answers, scratching his beard. Her eyes flash with something but before he can figure out what that is, Oscar interrupts his train of thought to ask what that means exactly. "I'm going to need some coffee before I can tell with any certainty, but off the top of my head? I'd say that means we're very, very fucked." * They're seventy million miles away from their intended target and floating aimlessly in space like a lazy child in a community pool. Houston is unreachable and Mars is a distant dream at this point. This is exactly the nightmare scenario Domhnall never allowed his brain to consider when both of his feet were planted firmly on the ground. Oscar comes up with a crazy plan to burn a third of their remaining fuel cells to change course so they are going in the vague direction of Earth. They can make it back in eighteen months if they are able to stretch their rations for that long and are not knocked off course by something else. It is literally a shot in the dark but it's all they have. Domhnall can't bring himself to agree until he quadruple checks their numbers again. He banishes himself to the study with nothing but a pencil and a graphing calculator and doesn't emerge until his brain is swimming with so many equations that he can no longer keep them straight. When Domhnall returns to the control room, he initially thinks that Oscar and Alicia are hunched over the guidance panel to work out which cells to burn but then he hears her nearly inaudible gasp followed by a succession of short breaths. If the thunderous drumming in Domhnall's ears didn't heighten his senses, he would've surely missed the almost imperceptible motion of Oscar's hips behind her and the way Alicia's head almost falls back against his shoulder. The snap of the pencil breaking in Domhnall's hand goes unheard by everyone. * It takes Oscar four weeks to discover that they're leaking a small but steady stream of oxygen into space. Alicia starts laughing like this is the least surprising thing he could have ever told them. "I'm just going to pop out there and fix it," Oscar announces like it's as simple as slapping some rubber cement onto a crack in his favorite mug. "Is that safe?" Domhnall asks stupidly even though a traitorous part of his brain knows that they would have a better chance of making it back home if the shuttle only had to support two people instead of three. If he's being completely honest with himself, Domhnall can admit that the kinder Oscar is to him, the angrier he feels until it's a white hot rage burning just beneath his fingertips. Interestingly, the same can't be said when he looks at Alicia, the want coursing through his marrow every time he closes his eyes and hears that soft oh again. "Help me suit up," Oscar says, breaking Domhnall out of his thoughts by clapping him on the back. At the airlock, Domhnall checks the CO2 detectors while Oscar slips into the suit. As he is being handed the helmet, Oscar says, "Watch out for Vikander." "Excuse me?" "Swedish neutrality isn't what it used to be," he answers cryptically. * "We both know that there are only enough supplies to last twelve months," Alicia says one day when they are alone in the kitchen. "At best." Domhnall stirs water into the oatmeal packet that he didn't have at breakfast. He was waiting for someone to bring this up sooner but now that it has happened, he doesn't want to have the conversation. "If we each eat a third less—" "How does one consume a third less air?" she asks with enough barely concealed anger there to destroy a man. He can practically hear the ice crystals in her voice when she says, "Oscar should have caught the oxygen breach sooner." "At least he was able to fix it." Personal space is a thing of the past as she crowds him against the stainless steel counter until her hips are dangerously close to touching his. Domhnall can feels his breathing get shallow when she whispers, "Did you enjoy the show?" Alicia doesn't break her stare as her hand grazes the drawstring of his NASA issued sweats, the scrape sounding obscenely loud as it echoes in his mind. "There are cameras." "This is a blind spot." Domhnall doesn't want to know how she knows that, but it's all the permission he needs to trail his hands down her sides. The air between them is now charged with a different kind of want, the urgency palpable even as he reminds her halfheartedly that this is a bad idea. "You only live once." When Alicia kisses him, she bares teeth. * The CO2 scrubbers malfunction on day 64 as the sleeping console lights up all at once in red danger symbols and beeps warnings of certain death. Domhnall manages to reroute everything to another set before they all go deaf, but it's a stop-gap until Alicia can isolate the problem to a single panel on the starboard side. Domhnall offers to go out there to take care of it. "Might as well see space unencumbered while I'm here." "I'll be here when you get back." He smiles at Alicia as she double checks that the suit is secure. The biggest challenge is prying the panel loose but once Domhnall gets that done, it looks like a relatively easy fix. Initially, Oscar offers running commentary on the vastness of space with the smooth-talking cadence of someone hosting a radiothon as he likens how black and still it is to the ultimate yoga nirvana. "For God's sake, will you let him work?" Alicia finally snaps through comms. Domhnall laughs as Oscar shoots back that it's not his fault she never wants to explore their surroundings. "You need to get out of this tin can, Vik. Shit, she's giving me a look now. Isaac out." The actual circuitry looks fine when Domhnall tests it but he disconnects and patches everything together again just to make sure. It doesn't take more than twenty minutes before he's done. "All clear. Anyone copy?" Domhnall asks when his words are met with silence. He pushes himself off the side of the ship to propel back to the door. His massively gloved fingers clumsily punch in the code to the airlock. The difference between the galaxy out there and their lives inside is staggering, the harsh lights of their artificial surroundings blinding as the air blasts him in the decontamination hub. When forty seconds are up and the door slides open, Alicia is waiting for him on the other side. "Welcome back." Domhnall blinks rapidly to get his eyes to adjust to the fluorescent lighting and will away the fat blobs of lens flare. "The connections looked fine," Domhnall says as he snaps off the helmet. "It might be a software error." "I took care of the problem." Alicia smiles as she holds up her bloody hands.
10415094	Classified Information	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Logic (Logan), Prince (Roman), Morality - Character, Anxiety - Character, Thomas Sanders (Video Blogging RPF)", "Fandom": null, "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by peach_n_creamm", "chapters": "4/4", "completed": "2017-03-25", "published": "2017-03-24T00:00:00", "words": "7,266", "Additional Tags": "Non-Sexual Age Play, Fluff, Pastels, Secrets, Autism, Touchy-Feely, Domestic Fluff, Babysitting, Thumb-sucking, Making Out, Hair-pulling, does this count as hair pulling, not sure, dont care, Makeover, Little!Anxiety, Autistic Logic", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Logic/Morality, Prince/Anxiety", "Series": "Little!Anxiety, Momma and Papa", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF", "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Anxiety was curled up in a pastel pink blanket covered in purple butterflies. If anyone asked why he actually owned this he just said it was soft, which it was, but that's only part of the reason he liked it so much. He would never admit to anyone that he had a Tinkerbell sippy cup filled with apple juice that was currently sitting on his nightstand. A box of crayons sat on his bedspread along with a Frozen coloring book. He was coloring in a picture of Anna in her coronation dress and her hair tied up while his left thumb stayed in his mouth. Animaniacs played quietly on his tv. He liked being a little kid, it took a lot of stress off his shoulders. Being small made him feel happy and safe, almost peaceful. The only thing that would make it perfect is if someone could actually take care of him like a little kid. He didn't want to get his own apple juice or get himself goldfish and fruit snacks. He didn't want to get his own blankie from it's hiding place in the closet. He wanted to have someone kiss the top of his head and hand him his sippy cup. He wanted tickle parties and snuggles when he was sad. He wanted to be warned to use both hands when drinking out of grown up cups in case he spilled. He wanted someone to put bows in his hair and have tea parties with him. But no one was allowed to find out about his odd interest in childhood. At one point he had actually thought about telling someone, until he thought about his options. Roman would most likely break up with him the second he mentioned it, and Anxiety couldn't handle losing his rock. Patton only had a clue about dad jokes and affectionate hypocrisy, he wouldn't even know what Anxiety was telling him. Logan was out immediately. He was so far out of the question that Anxiety even brought up the concept once. He asked about the idea that maybe some people acted like kids because it comforted them."Do you mean age regression?" He responded, "It's a freudian concept of the ego not being able to handle life as an adult, so the person retreats into childlike behaviors. Such behaviors can include bedwetting, sleeping with stuffed animals, sucking on objects like pens or fingers, refusing to partake in adult activities like driving. Is that what you're thinking of?""Kind of, yeah. Thanks." And that ended that conversation. Of course Thomas knew. Sometimes Anxieties habits bled into Thomas's routine, he watched kids movies, snuggled with a blanket, ate cereal for dinner because he didn't feel adult enough to work the stove, and ordering pizza was for grown ups. But there wasn't much Thomas could do to help his situation, at least he didn't mind. Anxiety set down his yellow green crayon and picked up his green crayon to color in her top. He had just touched the crayon to the paper when Roman opened the door and walked inside. His eyes were locked on a book and he was babbling on about something that Anxiety was too red to pay attention to. Prince glanced up from his book only to double take at the situation. He looked around the room and Anxiety quickly paused his cartoons. His hands were shaking and he buried his face in his blankie. He was doomed. "Anxiety, what exactly are you doing?" He leaned against the doorframe. "Uhm, coloring?" He squeaked out. His breathing was shallow with his nerves."I can see that. I was more referring to the sippy cup and the butterfly blanket and why you look like you like both Tinkerbell and the color pink." He said, he tucked his book under his arm."It calms me down to act like a kid." He shrugged. He refused to look up from his lap, but he heard footsteps and the weight on the bed shifted, suddenly Roman was holding his cheeks and pulling his face up to look at him."Look at how red you are under all the white foundation." He smiled, "Now I do believe that most children require a parental figure, would I be right to assume that this child's no different?"Anxiety was on the brink of nervous tears, but he nodded a little."Then move over so I can sit with my baby." He said. Anxiety shifted to the side and let his boyfriend sit next to him. Roman gently pulled him onto his lap and pointed to the top of Anna's dress, "This is black, not green. I've watched the movie 47 times, I should know. I only say because it seems like you're going for the accuracy approach not the creative approach."Anxiety began to color it in black. Roman took the remote and turned on Phineas and Ferb instead of Animaniacs. Anxiety was a little shocked at his response, he almost didn't hear him when Roman asked if he wanted more juice. He nodded and he felt the weight shift behind him. "I'll be back in just a moment." The prince promised. He kissed the crown of his head and stood up. He walked out of the room with his sippy cup. Anxiety's thumb found its way back to his mouth as he began to relax. When Roman re-entered the room, he was holding not only the Tinkerbell cup, but a white plastic box and a smaller black one. He looked up and reached his hands out for his juice. Roman handed it to him and reminded him to use both hands to keep from spilling. "What are the boxes for?" He found that his voice was higher without really trying, softer, less articulated, like a little kid. He sipped at his juice and wondered what could be in the boxes."A special surprise that I think you'll like a lot." He sat back down on the bed and told him to turn and face the tv. Anxiety listened, even though he didn't want to turn away from his newfound caregiver. Fingers stroked his hair out of his eyes, gently, not pulling or tugging, just pushing it away from his face. He heard Princey pop the lid off one of the boxes. Arms wrapped around his waist and Roman urged him to pick one. Anxiety looked down at the black box in front of him filled with hair clips. Some looked like bows, some flowers, some had little plastic strawberries and pineapples with little faces on them. "I also have these." Roman held out a few headbands. One was pink with a big polka dot bow on it, one was a flower crown with little daisies and baby's breath, the third was thin and looked like gold vines and crystal flowers. It looked like something a bride would wear. The last was an honest to god tiara, diamonds and sapphires made intricate designs on the silver band. Anxiety picked the tiara, he felt like he wanted to be a princess for a little while, so he decided to be a princess. Roman adjusted the crown on his head and turned Anxiety to face him. He kissed his nose lightly."You make a much prettier princess than I do. That's why I'm the prince." He smiled and made Anxiety blush at the compliment, "Pick a color." He held out the white box full of nail polish and let Anxiety look through it. He picked out a soft pink and a gold glitter. Prince smiled and began to paint his nails. He asked him about his favorite princess (Elsa), did he need any new stuffed animals (always a yes), what was his favorite color (either pink or black depending on his mood), was he always a little kid or just sometimes (sometimes). Then he brought up something that he wasn't sure would be exactly appropriate, what was he to Anxiety when he was little."Can you be my daddy? You don't gotta, but I really, really want you to be. I think that can be a little weird sometimes though. When I'm big you'll just be Roman." He asked shyly. Roman blushed but nodded."I can be your daddy even when you aren't little if you want." He smiled awkwardly. Even with the mind of a child, he could tell he wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea."Only if you wanna." Anxiety grinned. He had someone to finally take care of him, and he was actually becoming more like a child than ever before. He wanted his thumb in his mouth, but the nail polish was still drying. Roman was gently holding his fingers as he swiped the top coat over his nails, "You're not allowed to tell Mom and Dad. They'll think I'm weird.""I wouldn't dream of it, my princess." Roman smiled and made Anxiety giggle, "All done, my dear. You have to wait for it to dry so be careful." "Okay." He said as the Prince carefully set his things on the floor by their bed. Roman kissed his cheek lovingly and wrapped his arms around his shoulders, "Don't we gotta clean up?""I'll clean it up later, let's just stay here for a moment." He said and pulled them back onto the bed. Anxiety rolled onto his side and asked for his stuffie. Roman gently pulled the crown off his head, making him whine, "Don't worry, precious one, you can put it right back on when you get up."He stood up and grabbed the stuffed rabbit that was sitting on Anxiety's desk. He crawled back onto the bed and handed him the rabbit and his blanket. Anxiety smiled and rested his head on Roman's chest. Prince had draped the pink blanket over his shoulders, his rabbit was tucked under his arm and he soon fell asleep. Roman ran his fingers through his boyfriend's hair. Without warning, Logan entered the room. He didn't ask any questions about what was going on, he just slowly nodded."So that's why he asked me about age regression. That took me much too long to deduce. That must also be why he calls me Mom." He muttered to himself, "I came to tell you that Morality would like to have what he calls a family dinner. And also please tell Anxiety that I am open to help with whatever I can. We're here to help each other, he shouldn't feel the need to hide things. Especially not if he needs someone to help him." "I'll let him know. I didn't even know about it until just a little bit ago." Roman said. He was more jealous than he should've been when he discovered that his boyfriend trusted Logan more than him. Logan nodded and left the room. Anxiety was quietly snoring on his chest. His thumb was resting between his lips. Roman was sure he fell in love all over again. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Anxiety swung his legs while he sat on the counter. Logan was slicing up a cucumber for him to eat as he was tasked with caring for him while Roman and Thomas bounced ideas around. He was aloud to stop when Anxiety "grew up" or when Roman got back, whichever came first. "Momma, can I please have some juice?" He asked. "Of course you may. However, I still don't understand why you insist that I am your maternal figure." He filled up the plastic cup with apple juice and screwed on the lid. Anxiety took the cup and drank his juice happily. "Well I've already got my daddy, and you and Papa are boyfriends and all papas need to have a mom too, it's the rules. So you're my momma." He explained in his childlike voice. Logan was learning how to take care of the boy slowly and with effort. He was learning which cups he liked and which ones he didn't, he knew the names of all his stuffed toys, he knew his favorite cartoons, foods, disney princesses, even when to let him sit on laps or play pat-a-cake or give him piggy back rides. He had kind of been adopted as a mother by Anxiety. Patton walked into the kitchen and grinned."How's my favorite little one doing? Is Mom doing everything the right way?" He joked, walking up to him. Anxiety nodded. He was still shy around Patton's big personality, but his shell was opening up."I am no one's mother." Logan muttered to himself. He placed the cut up cucumber of a plate and helped Anxiety off the counter. Patton sat with him on the carpet while they watched Mulan and played little games together. "Hey, Anxiety. What do you call an alligator in a vest?" Patton asked, Logan rolled his eyes. Clearly alligators could not wear vests and thus you would call it impossible, but Patton would find a way around that and frustrate him. He always does."I dunno." Anxiety shrugged."An in-vest-igator." Patton said, he made Anxiety giggle to himself. Logan knew it would happen. His stupid jokes made him want to scream, as did most of Patton, but he always stayed. Turns out it's hard to end a relationship with someone keeping what was essentially a child happy while his favorite parent was gone. Patton just wanted to love, and the scene in front of him made a little warmth seep into his heart and make him smile. Roman swept into the room and made Anxiety's entire face lit up, he stood up and ran over to him. Roman enveloped him in a hug and kissed the top of his head."See, my princess? Not gone for more than a couple hours. Was Logan good to you?" He asked. Anxiety began listing everything they did together."But we're watching Mulan. Can we finish it before we go?" Anxiety rocked on his feet."Of course, precious one. As long as Logan says that it's alright." Roman smiled and looked over to the teacher."Feel free to continue. Patton and I will venture away if you don't mind." He said. Roman gave them the okay and Logan grabbed the still waving Patton's hand and walked out of the room with Anxiety saying goodbye to his Momma and Papa. Logan shut his bedroom door behind them and felt his heart sink a little."Are you okay, sugar biscuit." Patton wrapped his arms around Logan's waist."Why does nobody believe I can parent a child? I seem to be doing just fine, and yet all I hear is doubts." Logan said. Patton was the expert on emotion, if anyone could help it was him."Oh, angel cake. You're doing such a good job. I'm sure Anxiety would agree with that, I was only joking with him. You know how to take care of him better than I do most of the time actually, and you know that Roman just gets protective. He feels like he needs to make sure his baby is thriving and he doesn't feel comfortable risking that by any degree. He always comes to you, so obviously he trusts you enough to make good choices." Patton explained to him. "Why are you always right? It's silly of me to worry." Logan still felt upset, but at least he had some closure. He put his arms around his boyfriend's neck. "It's very silly, animal cracker." Patton kissed him. Logan's hands drifted to his cheeks, "You wanna watch a movie to think about something else?" Logan nodded and quietly moved to sit on the bed. Patton sat and looked through a box of movies. Logan prefered disks, much nicer and neater that way. He wasn't really paying attention to him until he found his secret box. Logan nearly killed himself trying to take the box from Patton before he could look inside. "What's in it? Are they your adult films?" He asked."Patton, what do you think those are?" "Films that adults watch." He answered."Well, you're not wrong." Logan shrugged, "And we are not watching anything from this box.""Logan." Patton leaned over and whispered to him, gently pulling him closer, "You are so precious to me. I love you so much. You know that, I know you do. I'd never do anything to hurt you."He kissed the skin behind his ear and pulled the box out of Logan's hands. He managed to get it open before Logic could take it back. He grinned as he gazed upon the treasure trove that was the secret box. 50 First Dates, Blended, Sixteen Candles, Crazy, Stupid, Love, 10 Things I Hate About You. Logan was frozen in fear. Patton shrieked with delight at his findings and tackle hugged Logan, pinning him to the floor and covering him with kisses. "You are so adorable!" He shouted, "We're watching all of these together."Logan was still too shocked to speak. Luckily he didn't have to, seeing as Patton was already playing Blended and pulling Logan up onto the bed with him. Patton snuggled up against him and kissed his cheek. It took half the movie for Logan to relax enough to chuckle at the jokes, but by the end he was laughing right along with his boyfriend. As usual, there were frequent kisses from Patton. It was like he was in a permanent state of touch starvation. He needed to know every inch of Logan's skin with his mouth just as much as his fingers, he got upset when he couldn't touch for too long. In the beginning it almost scared Logan. He didn't like the feeling of hands and lips on him, he didn't initiate physical contact. At one point early on, he had made Patton cry when he said he didn't want to be touched. But they survived and they were happier for doing so, and Logan was getting more and more lenient as time went on.Logan was not the sentimental type, but something about watching Adam Sandler fighting and proceeding to fall in love with Drew Barrymore with his partner made him feel nostalgic. He thought about the first time they kissed. Patton got excited and grabbed whoever's face was closest to his. That face happened to be Logan's and he ended up dazed for a few days after that. They were something special, a couple that always fought and yet never even disliked each other. They helped each other through mental hardships. Logan's autism made it extremely difficult to have anything but entirely literal conversations. Patton helped explain simple metaphors and figures of speech to him to keep him out of social trouble. Patton's ADHD kept him from focusing, working hard enough, or even just remembering obvious things. Logan kept him from getting too far off track, steering him gently back in the right direction, he reminded him to put pants on in the morning, or to wear his glasses so he can see. Two halves of a whole. Why was a silly movie about an African honeymoon making Logan reevaluate his entire relationship. He leaned over and kissed the top of Patton's head. He looked up and him beaming."You actually kissed me! I didn't even initiate anything! Look at my little jelly bean go!" He bounced up and down and held his face in his hands. Patton rested their foreheads together with his eyes closed, "I love you.""I love you too." Logan smiled. Such rare words from him that Patton began to tear up. "Really?" He squeaked. He was grinning and had his hands balled into fists by his face, "You really mean it?""I really do." He promised. Patton flung his arms around his shoulders and hugged him, peppering kisses over his cheek. "I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you." He repeated like a mantra. Logan carefully returned the hug and asked if he wanted any cookies, "That sounds good. I'll go get some cookies. Pause the movie for me."He stood and walked out of the room. He returned with an armful of cookies and was about to sit back down on the bed when Logan shooed him off. He sat down on the floor at the foot of the bed. No food was allowed in his bed, a fact that Patton often forgot. Logan crawled over to still be next to him. Patton kissed him one more time before the movie started up again. Logan had seen the movie more times than he could count, so he didn't really watch, instead turning his attention to Patton's hair. He curled his fingers through it, pulling and combing it back. He buried his nose into his hair and just breathed him in, he grabbed careful fistfuls of hair, making it stick up in every direction. Patton turned around and pressed their lips together and held his face. Logan's fingers were tugging the back of his hair. "You like my hair a lot don't you, honey bear?"Patton asked. Logan nodded and pulled him back in for another kiss, "Can I come back on the bed with you? I finished eating.""As long as you don't get any crumbs on the bed." He said. Patton cheered and climbed up on the bed. He settled down between Logan's legs and rested his head on his shoulder, his back against Logan's chest. Patton nuzzled his nose into his neck and hummed quietly."Can we have a pajama party again, please?" He asked."Remember last time? Thomas needed us and we showed up in our pajamas." He reminded him."Because we were fighting. We've been really good lately." He begged, "Please, snicker doodle?""Alright, fine. We can have another pajama party." Logan rolled his eyes. He had a ridiculous soft spot for his partner. Patton kissed him and thanked him. Logan hated himself for it, but he really did love the big idiot. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Roman had no idea what he was doing. He had dozens of packages spread over his counter and he knew what maybe one thing did. This was a terrible idea, why did he want to do this again? He was actually considering asking for help, but he didn't know anyone here that could actually help. He felt a little bit helpless, but he'd been wanting to do this for months now, time to commit. Thomas got his makeup done once, so he knew that foundation went first. He picked up the biggest brush he had and decided to just dive in."Roman, why is your door locked? Your door is never locked." He was partially relieved and partially screaming internally. He opened the door slowly to find Anxiety standing in the doorway. "Hello. Need me for anything?" He asked."Do I have to need something?" Anxiety said, "I just wanted to see you.""Maybe we can go watch a movie in a few minutes?" He offered."Roman, what are you up to?" Anxiety crossed his arms and looked at him accusingly. "Nothing at all." His voice got higher."Liar. I'm coming in." Anxiety pushed him to the side and walked inside his room. He walked into the bathroom, "Hey, Princey why do you have all this makeup out?""Oh, well, uhm-""Roman," Anxiety put his arms around his neck, "I suck my thumb and drink out of sippy cups, you can't weird me out.""I sort of wanted to see what it felt like to be girly. So I decided to try some makeup on, but I don't really know how to do any of this really." He scratched the back of his head. Anxiety rolled his eyes and pulled him into the bathroom. He moved some of the supplies and sat on the counter. He pulled him closer and wrapped his legs around his waist. He picked up the two containers of foundation and put a small amount of each on the back of his hand. He mixed them together in the middle and held his hand up to his face to match colors. "What are you doing?" Roman asked."Finding your foundation shade." Anxiety told him."You do makeup?" "Are you fucking stupid?" Anxiety just looked at him."I meant that you know how to do more makeup than just smudging black under your eyes." Roman clarified."Yes I do. Someone has to keep all the information Thomas learns from the makeup tutorials he watches at 5 in the morning. And who better to take care of his guilty pleasures?" Anxiety explained, "I'll be right back I'm going to get some extra stuff."He came back with a very odd assortment of things. A teardrop shaped sponge, glue, glitter, eyelashes, tape, and two tubes of liquid lipstick. He sat back on the counter and started blending foundation on Roman's face. His legs went back around his waist, keeping their faces close together so he could see what he was doing. Roman could tell that Anxiety was trying so hard to be gentle. He was patting the sponge on his skin after swiping another product under his eyes. Once he was all blended out, Anxiety brushed powder over his face. "I didn't add primer, so ignore the fact that it's not perfectly smooth." He said, "You can turn on music if you want.""Can we listen to Disney?" He asked. Anxiety rolled his eyes."Fine, but only because I like you." He said, tapping the end of the brush against his nose. He picked out a wine colored eyeshadow and a tiny pencil brush. Roman turned on the music."You just like me?" Roman teased."Shut your fucking mouth." Anxiety smiled as he said it, countering every bit of malice in the statement."No really. I'm curious.""Little Anxiety loves you with all his heart, you are the center of his entire world." Anxiety's cheeks turned pink, "However, once we get to big Anxiety, I tolerate you.""Says the boy with his legs wrapped around me and likes it when I bite his ears." Roman whispered to him. For effect he took Anxiety's earlobe between his teeth and made him whimper. Anxiety playfully pushed his shoulder. "Careful there, Princey. Keep doing that and I won't be able to finish before I pin you to the bed." Anxiety said."And you just tolerate me?" Roman kept teasing."Of course. What gave you the idea that I had any other feelings for you." He kissed him and told him to close his eyes. "Nothing at all, little one." Roman smiled."Isn't that little Anxiety's pet name?" He asked as he blended out the eyeshadow in his crease."Yes, but now it's your's too." Roman said."You're hopeless. I'm putting tape next to your eye just so you know, so you might be little uncomfortable while it's there. It shouldn't be too bad, but let me know if it's too much, because there's another thing I can do to get the same effect, it just takes a little longer." Anxiety explained. He took a fluffier brush and the same wine color and started blending. When he finished he took a brown eyeshadow and blended that over the deep purple. Anxiety quietly sang "Someday My Prince Will Come" to himself as he blended."Oh, my dear. Your prince is standing right in front of you. He arrived long ago." Roman smiled. Sadly he couldn't see Anxiety's cheeks turn red, but he could hear the squeak in his voice when he told him to be quiet. Anxiety announced that he was peeling the tape off now and he could open his eyes if he wanted. Roman did and watched in the mirror as Anxiety pulled scotch tape off his eye. It tugged at his skin, but Anxiety was gentle enough that it wasn't even uncomfortable for him. He loved seeing the messy, haphazard line become clean and straight and perfect. He gasped a little."It's so nice to watch isn't it?" Anxiety smiled. "My god, yes." Roman said. Anxiety put tape on his other eye and repeated the process, "So, this is an odd question and probably not an alright thing to ask, but I feel like we never really discussed this and it needs to be discussed. When you're little, does that mean that there's no relationship anything that happens?""Well, you're still my boyfriend if that's what you want to know. As for like kisses and sex and stuff, a general rule of thumb is that if you wouldn't do it with a four year old, probably not a good idea." Anxiety explained, his voice dropped, "But if you like me calling you daddy, then I'm more than willing to accommodate that."Roman whined, his knees shook a little. His hands found their way around to Anxiety's back and started dipping down."God, you just can't keep your hands to yourself can you?" Anxiety chuckled. Roman shook his head."How can I when I have such a lovely little thing sitting so prettily in front of me?" He asked, "As soon as we're done with this, I'm getting you out of those clothes."Anxiety pulled the tape off his eye again. He switched to a pink eyeshadow and pat it over both his eyelids, "I think you like being my daddy.""I do. I like having a little baby to love." Roman smiled. "I'm putting glue on your eyelids, so don't open your eyes unless you don't want to blink for a while. Don't freak out, it's made to be eye safe." Anxiety said, "And I get to ask a question now. Why do you want to pretend to be a girl?" "I don't know, makeup and dresses and high heels are just so pretty, and I think it would be fun to look so pretty." Roman explained. Anxiety pat pink glitter over the glue and started on mascara, directing Roman where to look. When that was done he put glue on one of the fake eyelashes. He handed it to Roman to let it dry while he started contouring."Here comes the smoulder." Anxiety said. Roman imitated the iconic expression and Anxiety started contouring his cheeks. He added a touch on his forehead and the tip of his nose and proceeded to take the eyelash back and place it on his eye. He put glue on the next eyelash and handed it to Roman, this time opening the liquid lipstick up and applying the warm, rosy pink to his lips. He added a gold to the center of his lips and showed Roman how to blend it out by squeezing his lips together."It feels like my eyelashes are lifting weights." Roman whispered to himself. Anxiety started laughing embarrassingly hard, "I'll have bodybuilder eyelashes."Anxiety almost fell over laughing so hard. Once he calmed down enough he placed the next eyelash on his lashline. "Okay, you'll like this part. Watch in the mirror." Anxiety told him. Roman watched his reflection while Anxiety dipped his brush his the chrome-like powder. He brushed it over His cheekbones and Roman nearly stopped breathing when he saw the highlighter. "I want this, but my entire face." He said. Anxiety smiled and picked some of the highlighter up on his finger. He added it to his nose and cupid's bow, "I look like a goddess."Anxiety was smiling. Roman was grinning and Anxiety added a touch of peachy blush and kissed him, gently as to keep his lips intact. "Roman," Patton knocked before opening the door, "What are you up to in here?""Anxiety did my makeup and I am living for this." Roman turned to look at him. Patton screeched and bounced up and down."You look so cute. Anxiety, you're so good talented. You made your boyfriend look so lovely." He hugged both of them before becoming very serious, "I came in here for a reason. Don't get distracted. Anxiety, Logan is worried about being a good mom and you would make him so happy if you just told him he's decent at the very least. He needs it. Can you do that for your dear old dad? Please?""Yeah, I can do that. For sure." Anxiety shrugged."Thank you so much, I just want him to be happy. Don't tell him I told you to say that though. Roman you look like a beautiful glowing goddess. Pink was a good choice." He assured them with a grin, "Logan's taking a nap. I better go wake him up for dinner."He walked quiety out, leaving the two alone. "Want to watch The Little Mermaid?" Anxiety asked."Please." Roman smiled and picked him up. He gently set him on the bed and climbed in next to him. They played the movie and both sang to every song, each with his own level of enthusiasm. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- "Hey, Mom." Anxiety knocked on the doorframe, even though the door was already open, "I just wanted to come and tell you that you're a really good mom to me. You do an awesome job, and you deserve a thank you.""What? Where is this coming from?" Logan asked."I just think you don't get half the credit you deserve for putting up with me." Anxiety shrugged."Oh. Well, thank you for saying such kind words." Logan was stiff. Patton grinned, it meant his plan was working. Anxiety walked in the room and hugged Logan, making him blush."Thank you, Mom. I'll let you be with Dad." Anxiety walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. Patton stood up from the desk to find tears forming in the corners of Logan's eyes, but otherwise his expression showed only shock."Sugarplum, are you okay?" Patton asked. "He told me I'm a good mom." Logan whispered. Morality smiled and hugged him."I told you you were." He kissed his cheek, "Pajama party time?"Logan wiped his eyes and nodded.~*~Patton was curled up between Logan's legs, his favorite position ever. And Logan was making it even better. His arms were wrapped around him, holding the book of poems he was reading from. Both were in onesies, Patton is his kitty pajamas and Logan in his unicorn ones. Patton was sipping at his tea and absorbing Logan in. The scent of new books, coffee, and citrus. The sound of his deep voice's rhythmic speech and his heart beating in his chest. The feeling of his body heat surrounding him, the warmth of his mug in his mittened hands, and the softness of pajamas against his cheek. He kept his eyes closed, not wanting to spoil his perfect moment with imperfect surroundings. Wrinkled sheets, dusty tables the clothes hamper in the corner. It ruined the bubble of safety they had created. Logan recited the last line of the poem, initiating a kiss from Patton. He tasted like cherry cola and warm pastries. Logan was always so confused by his craving for touch. Patton had always answered with a simple "because it makes me feel close to you." That was never the entire truth though. He had to be felt, to be touched, to feel someone's skin on his own. "Pain demands to be felt" was how the quote went, but it was true of all emotion, everything that Morality was. Emotion has to be felt, in every sense of the word. Logan was too uncomfortable with touch to feel him, so Patton forced himself to be felt. His hands, his lips, his arms, his head on Logan's chest. It wasn't malicious at all. Patton felt loved by being felt. If he wasn't being felt, it was like he didn't exist. He wasn't entirely sure why he never told Logan, it just never felt right for him to know. If he knew, he would force himself to touch, and it wouldn't feel genuine, so maybe that's why he never brought it up. "Sweetie pie, can we read something other than poems?" Patton asked. Logan shrugged, "Thank you."He set his mug down before he crawled over to the side of the bed and pulled out a big cardboard box. He set it carefully in front of Logan and urged him to look for something he liked."What is this?" Logan asked."Are they not good? I have others, I just like these the best." Patton bit his lip. Logan picked through the books filling the box."Not at all. It's just unexpected." He shifted through the novels. Where the Red Fern Grows, The Book Thief, The Boy in The Striped Pajamas, Water for Elephants, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Frankenstein, nearly every John Green book ever written, the Maze Runner series, and dozens more."So you think they're all good books?" Patton fidgeted. Logan nodded."You've actually read all these?" Logan asked."Yeah." He was getting shyer and shyer as the conversation went on. Logan obviously didn't believe him, because he rapidly began quizzing him on events in the books. What happened when Victor destroyed the creature's bride (he said "I will be there on your wedding day" and went insane), why did Hazel go to support groups (because her mother thought she was depressed), what did Huck Finn and Tom want to be when they grew up (pirates and robbers)."Oh my god." Logan's jaw dropped. He enveloped him in a tight hug, making Patton smile and nuzzle into him. Finally, he didn't need to initiate. "Pumpkin, I know you're excited, but I kind of want to just talk with you and kiss you for hours." Patton said into the soft, white fabric on Logan's chest."What do you want to talk about?" Logan asked. He was blushing just a little, but he set the box back under the bed. Patton gently pushed him back onto the bed so he could lay on top of him, chest to chest. Logan's fingers threaded through his hair."I don't know. What makes eyes different colors?" PattonMorality asked."Well, technically all eyes are brown. We see them as different colors because of something called melanin, it pigments the skin, hair, and eyes. The more melanin in your eyes, the darker they look. But that just covers the shades of brown, sometimes the way the light hits your eyes changes and makes them look blue or green." Logan explained. "Why are guys gay?" Patton asked innocently, Logan rolled his eyes, "No really, I'm serious.""Well, most likely it's because of the mother attacking the embryo with less testosterone while she's pregnant. The theory is that it glitches the brain enough to make it just slightly more feminine making it find men attractive instead of women. The glitch must be pretty common and not very harmful, because most animals have some homosexual tendencies." Logan was so good at explaining things. Patton melted with each word, "Patton, why do you read so many books. It's not for knowledge-sake so why?""What does Thomas think about when he thinks about books he likes?" Patton started."His favorite parts usually." Logan shrugged."The feelings those books made for him. The laughing and crying and how much it made his heart jump into his throat. I'm in charge of feelings so I get to take care of all the emotions he had, good and bad. Just like those books made him think about the endless possibilities of knowledge and philosophy, they made him feel too. Novels aren't purely practical in nature." Patton sat up to explain. His hands were placed on Logan's chest, his knees around his hips. His hair fell in his eyes. He smiled softly and felt Logan's sharp intake of air beneath his hands. He bit his lip."You're so lovely." Logan placed a hand on his cheek. Patton nuzzled into his hand, carefully placing his own over it. "You're a sweetheart, Logan." Patton bit his lip, "But I have one more question.""And what's that?" Logan tilted his head."Where do babies come from?" Patton asked. Logan choked on his own spit and turned red, "Are you okay?""You're just full of surprises today aren't you?" Logan tried to calm himself down. "Are you smart enough to tell me, honey bunch?" Patton crossed his arms."Well, uhm, mothers and fathers have special cells in their bodies that only have half the DNA they need. So when a father's sperm combines with a mother's egg, they combine into a full cell. This cell multiplies until it's a ball of cells and eventually a baby. And the baby gets bigger and bigger for 9 months until the mother gives birth to that baby." Logan wasn't telling him everything, Patton could tell. He decided the best way to get the information, was to ask as many questions as he could."Where are the eggs?" Patton decided to start with."In her uterus.""Where's that?" Patton asked. Logan bit his lip and pointed to the spot just above where Patton's pants sat."Only biological women have uteruses though. Except in very special cases. And it's inside their stomachs." Logan clarified. Patton nodded."Well how does the sperm get there then?" This whole thing was very confusing to him, but the blush on Logic's face never left, so it had to be something very rewarding to know."Uhm, I assume you've had an orgasm?" Logan sat up, leaning back against the headboard. Patton stayed on his lap, placing his arms around his neck. He nodded, "The, uhm, white, sticky stuff is where the sperm is.""That doesn't answer my-oh." Patton suddenly figured out why Logan was so shy about the whole thing. Logan nodded, biting his lip. "That's why I sat up. It felt suggestive to be lying down." Logan told him. He was fidgeting more than usual. Patton held his hands to keep them from moving so much. Logan laced their fingers together and began to rub his thumb over Patton's knuckles. Patton knew it was more to have something to do with his hands than to be affectionate. Patton was thinking, about something very particular, not just for the fun of it. He was thinking about a question he'd been wanting to ask for too long now. He considered the wording, took deep breath, and blurted it out."Do you want to make a baby?" He asked. The blood drained out of Logan's face, his hands started shaking. Patton was flustering him. He started muttering about the multiple impossibilities the pair would have with procreation. Patton kissed him."We can't have a baby." He finally said when Patton pulled away."Can we pretend we can and try anyway?" He shifted a little bit closer, "Please?""I apologize in advance for my bluntness, but are you asking if we can have sex?" Logan seemed shocked at the mere suggestion. Patton nodded shyly."Is that okay?" He was sure that he ruined the whole moment. The silence felt like it lasted for hours. Patton was about to stand and walk back to his room and sob because he messed everything up, as usual. He was swallowing back tears when he saw the microscopic nod from Logan. He thought he imagined it, but he saw his head bounce with more confidence. "Yeah. Yeah, we can." Logan smiled. Patton grinned and tackled him in a hug, kissing him roughly. He didn't care if it didn't feel very nice, the weight of the world was lifted off his shoulders and that's all that mattered, "Calm down, Patton. We should talk it over first, okay?""Okay." Patton couldn't stop the smile from growing on his face.
10467339	A Similar Arrangement	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Rob Benedict, Jensen Ackles", "Fandom": "Supernatural RPF", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Explicit", "author": "by robbiebabe", "chapters": "2/2", "completed": "2017-04-05", "published": "2017-03-27T00:00:00", "words": "3,426", "Additional Tags": "Open Relationships", "Relationship": "Jensen Ackles/Rob Benedict", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	“Tell me you would say no to, basically, any of them, Rob.““I would say no to- I mean, if Rich-”“You wouldn’t say no to Rich.”Rob pauses. Winces. “No. I guess I wouldn’t,” he concedes.“Hey, we’ve talked about this for a long time. As long as we come home to each other, it’s all good, but you and I both know sometimes that’s not enough. We got married so young, and I can’t believe how lucky I was to find you. But you want this so much, I can tell you do. And, to be honest, so do I.” She holds his face in her hands gently and looks into his eyes. “I think we’re secure enough in our relationship and our love for each other that we can trust that no one is ever going to threaten that. Yeah?““We are, but-”“I just don’t want us to go through life with any regrets.”“I know.” He smiles, kind of sadly, at her.“So? Are we agreed?““Are you sure?”“Yes, Rob.““Okay then,” he laughs, which sets her off, and it’s… relief. *** He’s not sure what to do with all these new opportunities theoretically at his disposal. Then one thing leads to another and he’s literally jumping into Jensen’s arms on stage. Jensen’s strength, his steadfastness, his confidence, it’s immensely attractive. Normally he hates being reminded of all that, but today, despite the fact that nothing has really changed, he feels a thrill go through him and there’s buzz that stays under his skin even after he’s gone off stage. He tries to tell himself that nothing’s going to happen now just because it suddenly could.After they play Jared and Jensen off the stage and take a break for themselves, Rob finds himself engulfed in Jensen’s arms from behind. He’s on his way back to the greenroom.“Great intro today,” Jensen says, one arm around Rob’s waist and the other around his shoulders.Rob has to suppress a shiver. “Isn’t it always?” he says in response and leans back into Jensen’s embrace a little as to not appear too tense.“Everything alright with you? Been a while since we talked,” Jensen says, finally letting go and allowing him to turn around to face the taller man. But now he has to look up at him as they talk, which may be worse than the physical contact.“Yeah, yeah, I’m good,” he says, cursing himself for how shaky he sounds. The permission he came here with is coloring how he looks at his friend, and he feels like a shitty person for it.“How’s Mollie?” Jensen asks, as if he’s prodding for something.“Mollie?” Rob’s surprised at the subject, but tries to mask it. “She’s good. She just took out some vacation time so she’s been home with the kids. Why?” That’s more along the lines of how he wants to sound.Jensen looks sort of contemplative, he realizes. “Just,” Jensen begins. “Mollie spoke with Danneel the other day. About what you guys decided.”Rob feels himself freeze into place. “Excuse me?“Jensen looks amused and bashful at the same time. “Well, it just so happens that Danneel and I have a similar arrangement,” he says, almost casually.Rob’s not proud of the mental images that flood his mind at that precise second. “Oh really?” he says, high-pitched and incredulous. He doesn’t know what to do with his hands but finally puts them on his hips.“Yeah, look, I know this is kinda awkward,” Jensen gestures between them and seems to hesitate. “But, uh, apparently Mollie made it sound like maybe you’d be interested in making something happen.”“You make it sound like a business transaction,” Rob says, suddenly so detached from what’s happening that he can crack jokes instead of just staring at his friend speechlessly.“I mean, correct me if I’m wrong.” Jensen looks at him with wide eyes, and seems to almost hold his breath while waiting for Rob to say something.Rob instinctively takes a step back. “I- uh-” He giggles loudly before shutting himself up. He’s going to look like a crazy person. He sees that Jensen is starting to backpedal.“It’s completely fine if you don’t-” Jensen starts, and Rob has to stop him now or he’ll lose his nerve.“No, it’s not- I do- want that.” He hears himself saying. That could probably have been smoother.There’s an immediate change in Jensen, his expression and his posture. “Yeah?” He licks his lips, which makes Rob look at them.“Yeah,” he says back. There’s a beat of charged silence between them, during which Rob has time to freak out completely. He doesn’t feel prepared for this.“I’ve got another night booked at this hotel, I can fly out tomorrow morning,” Jensen says.“Okay,” he says, dazed. Can’t quite make himself meet Jensen’s eyes.“Okay,” Jensen says back, seemingly pleased with himself. He walks forward to envelop Rob in his arms, one arm curled around Rob’s waist.This is uncharted territory, this is scary and exhilarating at the same time, and Rob doesn’t know what to expect. Instead of something crazy, though, Jensen just says softly that he has no expectations and he doesn’t care what happens or doesn’t happen tonight. Strangely that makes Rob feel immensely relieved and he relaxes into Jensen’s embrace finally.“This is strange,” he says, referring to the whole situation more so than the hug.Jensen leans them up against the wall of the hallway. “Been kind of wanting to do it for a long time,” he admits.“What, hug?” Rob says and huffs a little. The two of them have always been very huggy with each other, so this isn’t strictly anything out of the ordinary.“No, this,” Jensen says instead, and his eyes flicker down to Rob’s lips and back up again, and he tilts Rob’s head up as he leans down, kissing him.Once his brain catches up to what’s happening, Rob kisses back, grabbing at the back of Jensen’s neck to keep him close, and before he knows it minutes have passed and Jensen has him pressed tight against the wall with his thigh pressing up against Rob’s hardness. Rob hears himself moan in between kisses, which seems to make Jensen stop. He doesn’t step away, just stops kissing him and moving his body. His thigh is still pressed against Rob, giving him just enough stimulation to stop himself from going crazy, but not enough, not enough at all.“We shouldn’t do this here,” Jensen says, his voice raspier than normal.Rob can’t help but rock slightly against Jensen’s thigh, his body not getting the idea to let this go. He’s surprised at Jensen’s response, pressing closer, a little hitch in his breath.Suddenly they hear voices floating down the hallway. “Okay, now we really gotta go,” Jensen says and grabs Rob quickly to lead him by the shoulder away from the direction where the voices are coming from.Rob realizes Jensen is leading him back toward the bathrooms, which is probably a good idea. He takes a few deep breaths and by the time they get there he’s feeling a little more himself. He splashes some water on his face while Jensen stands diagonally behind him, leaning against the wall. “Is this- are you okay?” Jensen asks, as Rob turns around after dabbing his face with a paper towel.“Yeah,” Rob says, and laughs a little. “I’m good.”Jensen huffs a laugh and looks down, blushing a little. It makes him look bashful, which is incredibly endearing. Rob assumes this, or at least the fact that it progressed so fast, caught the other man as off guard as it did him, and that makes him feel a little more at ease.There’s no one else in the bathroom, which is why Rob feels comfortable approaching Jensen and wrapping his arms around his middle. He’s unused to looking up at his partner, but he suspects that the ‘looking up through your eyelashes’ thing probably works quite well for him, judging by the way Jensen’s eyes cloud over after a few long moments of eye contact.Just as Jensen starts to move forward, Rob takes a swift step back. “I’ll see you tonight,” he says with a smirk, only pausing for a second before he leaves the bathroom. He’s past freaking out at this point. He can’t believe that just happened. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- It’s become a thing, now, that they joke about Rob’s nerves and his height and his stature. He doesn’t mind those jokes, hell, he’s the one who really started them. He knows that if delivered well, they always make people laugh, and it’s been in his bag of tricks ever since his standup days. It’s become part of his persona in front of the fans in a more pervasive way than he was expecting, though, and something about it rubs him the wrong way sometimes.It’s not that he doesn’t know how to laugh at himself. He does. It’s more that he finds it so incredibly ironic. Because, though the jokes are disparaging in nature, he has never felt disparaged by his size in itself. Being shorter than average for a guy, being the guy who doesn’t always bother to pretend to be tough, being the guy who sometimes wears his emotions and insecurities a little too much on his sleeve, that has never bothered him. It’s never been a thing that he’s disliked about himself. He thinks about this while he’s wrapping up his photo ops Sunday afternoon, knowing that Jensen will be waiting for him tonight, and he wants what Rob wants, and this is something they’re allowed to do. He thinks about how Jensen is bigger than him, can pick him up just like that, like he had earlier today onstage. Really that’s a big reason why the never ending joke about his height is so ridiculous. Because it turns Rob on, to be smaller than his partner. It turns him on to be held down by someone stronger than him. It turns him on to be manhandled. He’s known this about himself for a very long time, but recently he’s been thinking about it more, allowing himself to think about it more. He feels something burn under his skin just at the thought of seeing Jensen later. He’s grateful that by now photo ops are over and he’s more or less the only one left, waiting around in the green room for Jensen to text him that he’s done for the day. When he gets that text what feels like an indeterminable amount of time later he makes his way over to Jensen’s room on steady legs. Still his hands are shaking, when he reaches out to knock on the door, but then his hands are usually shaking, so he doesn’t think that holds any particular significance. When Jensen opens the door, his hair is still damp and he’s got a towel wrapped around his hips. “Hey,” he says, casually. When Rob just stands there, dumbfounded, Jensen rolls his eyes and pulls him into the room, closing the door behind them and crowding him up against it immediately. “You still good, about this?” He murmurs, a hand on either side of him but not touching him just yet. “Yeah,” Rob manages, a little overwhelmed by the sight of his friend. “Can I-?” he says and reaches a hand out to Jensen’s shoulder, the unspoken question being can I touch you like this. Jensen responds by moving closer, humming low in his throat. Rob’s hands land on his shoulder, but he moves them down his chest and his stomach, and it’s somewhat of a caress. Rob wonders if Jensen’s goosebumps are due to his touch or if it’s just the cold from stepping out of the shower. As soon as they make eye contact Jensen leans in to kiss him. The transition from being friends to being friends who do this feels surprisingly smooth, and Rob realizes with a start that that’s because they’ve been building up to this for a long time. This is not a new thing for Jensen any more than it is for Rob. It makes him bolder, as he curls into Jensen’s body and allows him to deepen the kiss. Abruptly Jensen presses him against the door and attaches his mouth to Rob’s neck, licking and sucking while he busies his fingers with unbuttoning Rob’s shirt. Before he knows it Jensen has slid the shirt down his arms and Rob has exactly zero time to feel inadequate before Jensen sinks to his knees before him. Jensen looks up at him with a question, hands braced on his belt buckle with the meat of his palms accidentally grazing his erection. “Please,” Rob breathes, putting his hand lightly on the side of Jensen’s head and thinking of nothing but those lips wrapped around him, like he of all people is worthy of that. As soon as Jensen pulls him out and puts his hands on him, he hears himself make noises he doesn’t quite recognize. Jensen kisses and nips at his thigh while he pulls Rob’s jeans all the way down, but turns to his cock with a slow lick from the base all the way to the head. Rob shivers and sighs “Jensen,” as his friend licks at the tip of his cock before taking it in his mouth almost all the way. Rob’s breath catches in his throat and he tugs harder at Jensen’s hair while trying not to buck into his mouth. He realizes that this is his friend who he’s known for years and who’s supported him unconditionally through difficult times that is currently opening his throat in order to take his cock as deeply as possible, and that thought very nearly makes him come right then. He can’t stop himself from whimpering but then whispers frantically “Jay, Jay,” and pulls on his hair to get him off his dick because he doesn’t want this to end yet. Jensen complies and gets up on his feet to give Rob what can only be described as an absolutely filthy, open-mouthed kiss that has Rob clinging to him and panting into his mouth. While they were kissing Jensen must have gotten rid of the towel, because when he grabs onto Rob’s thighs and lifts him into his arms there’s nothing separating them. “I’ve got you.” Rob wraps his legs tightly around his friend’s waist, not missing a beat, and searches out his mouth again. One of Jensen’s hands slide under his ass while the other holds onto his back, as he walks unencumbered into the room and throws Rob down onto the bed. He crawls on top of Rob and kisses him hard into the bed. Rob can’t see what Jensen’s hands are doing but it feels like they’re everywhere at once, leaving burning trails all across his skin. He’s pushing on Jensen’s shoulder to try and turn them over when Jensen grabs both his hands and pins them above his head. Rob couldn’t get out of it even if he wanted to, and that thought goes straight to his dick. Jensen is looming over him, moves so that they’re pressed together and Rob feels his erection slide against Jensen’s. He hears himself make a small noise of pleasure despite his efforts to contain it. He doesn’t want to appear too vulnerable, but at the same time that’s what has him so desperate. “You’re beautiful like this,” Jensen says reverently. “Shut up,” he breathes, no real heat behind his words. “You are,” he insists. “Did I ever tell you hard it makes me to watch you perform?” He leans in to suck marks into Rob's neck. Rob wants to pull himself free, needs to touch Jensen, but when he tests Jensen’s hold on his arms he’s met with firm resistance; no leeway. “Did I ever tell you that as hot as you are on stage, being a rockstar, I can’t take my eyes off you no matter where we are? That I wanna touch you every time I see you, just to say hi, just to make you feel good,” he kisses Rob a few times, slower, gentler than before. Rob can only let him, both words and touches sinking in to his skin and making him thrum with desire for this man on top of him. “I can’t believe I get to do this,” Jensen murmurs eventually, and Rob’s hips move up of their own accord, and that’s it, he’s done. “Jensen, Jensen, let me go,” he says, half drunk with arousal and half panicked. It must be there in his voice because Jensen lets up immediately, and through sheer willpower Rob turns them over and straddles his friend. Before he knows it he’s moved down along Jensen’s torso and is nuzzling his cock, getting his lips around it and taking him as deep into his mouth as he can. “Jesus Christ.” Jensen bucks into his mouth and it makes him gag a little, and it’s been a long time since he’s done this but he still remembers what to do. He hums a little, knows that that will feel good, and uses one hand to run up Jensen’s chest and over his nipple, and the other to gently tease his perineum. Jensen twitches underneath him. “Fuck,” he says, sounding absolutely wrecked. “Rob, Robbie, please. I’m gonna-" Rob just hums in response, causing Jensen to curse again. “Come up here,” he says, unexpectedly, and pulls a little on Rob’s sweat-damp hair. Rob lets go and crawls back up, letting Jensen claim his mouth in another all-consuming kiss, until he feels Jensen’s hand wrap around both their cocks and stroke them simultaneously. Their heavy breathing fills up the room, and Rob is closer than he thought he was. As soon as he adds his hand on top of Jensen’s, he only has to grind his hips down a few more times before he’s coming, his face buried in the crook of Jensen’s neck, his breathy cry slightly muffled. “Hold on, hold on,” Jensen tells him, his left hand tugging on Rob’s hair while his right continues to stroke them both. Just as it gets to be too much, Jensen explodes, his come mixing with Rob’s on both their stomachs. He frantically moves his hands to cup Rob’s face, guiding him to his lips to give him one last, searing kiss before Rob collapses partly on top of him, confident that Jensen won’t mind his weight. Rob feels his pulse slow. A giddy sensation bubbles up inside him. “Oh man,” he says. He lays one arm around Jensen’s waist and is reminded of how sticky they both are. Jensen chuckles above him. “I wanna do that again,” he says, smile evident in his voice. Rob smiles against Jensen’s collarbone. “You’re gonna have to give me a minute.” A minute passes, in content silence. “Did you really mean that?” he asks, tilting his head up to look at Jensen’s face. “What?” Rob feels embarrassed for asking now. “About the- the things you said?" Jensen runs his hand up and down Rob’s back gently. “Wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it,” he says, not looking at him. Rob gets up, and lays his head on the pillow next to Jensen’s, to see him better. It means they’re not on top of each other anymore, but with how warm and sweaty they are, Rob feels like that’s a good thing. He’s starting to feel a little uncomfortable with how naked he is, now that Jensen is just Jensen again, even though it’s different. “I see it in you too, you know,” Rob says earnestly. “You don’t want people to know, but you’re just as tactile as I am.” Jensen raises his eyebrows at him. “Am I? I don’t know.” “Hmm,” Rob hums noncommittally in response, not wanting to insist even though he knows he’s right. “I’m gonna take a shower,” he says while he’s getting up, throwing a quick smile at Jensen before going into the bathroom. He hears Jensen sigh. “Can I join you or would that be weird?” Rob chuckles, still feeling warm all over, but pleasantly so. “Please join me,” he says, and turns the water on. He doesn’t know how they will act around each other from now on, if this will change their friendship in any way, but he figures that’s a worry for another day.
10431471	Et Tu Evan	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Evan Hansen, Connor Murphy, Zoe Murphy", "Fandom": "Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by howboutinotdothis", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-25T00:00:00", "words": "2,718", "Additional Tags": "they go to a grocery store, that's it that's the story, not even joking, im just practicing how to write connor/evan interaction, Post-Canon", "Relationship": "Connor Murphy/Evan Hansen", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Evan stares blankly at the cans of tomato soup, trying to act like he’s really very interested in the different brands of tomato soup and not like he’s desperately waiting for the young mother in front of him in the aisle to move so he can get around her. She’s been reading the ingredients on a box of spaghetti for what feels like an eternity and Evan can’t imagine what ingredient in spaghetti could be so offensive that it would require five minutes of intense scrutiny and affronted grumbling.A couple suddenly pushes past Evan, forcing him to press up against the shelves of tomato soup, and he can honestly say he wasn’t expecting today to lead him to gaining an intimate knowledge of what cans of tomato soup feel like against his arm. In and out, he told himself. It’ll be fine.Except it wasn’t fine because it’s never fine, and now Evan is panting like he just ran a mile in the middle of the soup and sauces aisle in the grocery store. He really wanted to go to Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market—all of those have self-checkouts and you don’t have to talk to anybody at self-checkouts unless you mess something up and Evan takes special care to not mess things up. He’s sure the lady that presides over the self-checkouts is perfectly nice, but even the sweetest people can only tolerate his stuttering and stumbling for so long.Anyways, Evan didn’t get a choice in where he was going to buy groceries because Zoe and Connor wanted to go to Publix and he wasn’t going to say “oh, no, it’s fine guys I just suddenly realized I don’t need food and I’m not out of bread” or “I would rather starve to death than make small talk with a cashier, please can we go somewhere I can act like a hermit.” Evan can distantly hear them a few aisles over, fighting over whether they should get almond milk or soy milk or, like, real milk.Honestly, Evan should have just stuck by them instead of going off on his own like the complete idiot he is, but he really needed more tomato sauce because he ran out of tomato sauce two weeks ago and he has a whole box of spaghetti left and he can’t exactly eat spaghetti without tomato sauce, can he? Well, he could, and he has, but Evan’s been trying to not eat stuff he doesn’t want to in order to avoid social situations. Dr. Sherman says that avoidance is a poor coping mechanism and that the only way to grow accustomed to social situations is to expose yourself to new social situations so you can come to the realization that talking to strangers isn’t that bad.Except talking to strangers is that bad. It’s awful—and people just keep talking to him. Old ladies keep making eye contact and saying hello, little kids have been waving at him from their buggies, and an employee saw him looking at the Gatorade whilst contemplating how his life has come to this point and asked if he needed help. And Evan does need help, just not the kind of help that employee could provide.His hands are slippery with sweat when he gets to the jars of tomato sauce, so he rubs his hands on his pants a couple times before grabbing a jar off the shelf and placing it carefully in his buggy. Evan is seriously regretting grabbing a buggy—it makes it a lot harder to keep his head down and quickly walk around people. He’s almost pushed his buggy into someone coming around the corner a few times now and he can’t do that—he’d have to apologize and then he’d do something spectacularly stupid and just make everything worse and then he’d probably run out of the store and text Jared to get him because he won’t be able to face Connor and Zoe if he makes a scene in a Publix. I mean, who makes a scene at Publix? Nobody. Nobody does anything dramatic at Publix because people who go to Publix aren’t crazy.Evan’s starting to think he might be the exception to that rule.He pushes his buggy past the potatoes, which he needs some of, but they’re just sitting there, a bunch of free potatoes in a big bin for people to grab as they please, not pre-packaged in a convenient plastic bag. Evan has yet to spot the bags you use for the fresh vegetables and he is not going to juggle a bunch of potatoes or drop a potato or just generally wreak havoc on the potatoes. He can just get Jared to give him a ride to Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market next weekend where he can buy himself a big bag of potatoes and avoid interaction with other human beings.Evan’s hunched over, awkwardly passing through the feminine hygiene section because he’s pretty positive there isn’t a way to pass through the feminine hygiene section that isn’t awkward. It would be weird to look at the various tampons and pads and lines, but it’s also weird to stare at the floor and turn red in the face, and he can’t really think of a middle ground reaction. Evan could look at the shelves across from the feminine hygiene products, but then he would be very obviously not looking at the feminine hygiene products, and is it—is it like insulting to not want to look at the feminine hygiene section or something? He has no idea, and he can’t exactly ask Zoe or Alana “hey do girls get pissed if you try really hard not to look at tampons” because that’s really weird. That’s next level weird, and Evan doesn’t need to be any weirder than he already is, thank you very much.Suddenly, an arm is flung around his shoulder and Evan lets out a squeak. He was too wrapped up in his inner monologue to notice Zoe approaching him, Connor following behind with a buggy full of groceries that, Evan notices, contains two cartons of almond milk. So Zoe won that argument.“You good, Evan?”“Um, y-yeah, why wouldn’t—why wouldn’t I be good? I’m—I’m so good. Really.”Zoe frowns at him, entirely unconvinced, and Evan is probably going to have a mental breakdown if she asks him what’s wrong. He’s honestly a half-second away from freaking out just because her arm is still around him—he loves Zoe, he does, he thinks Zoe’s one of the best people he’s ever met, but he just cannot handle physical contact right now. It makes him want to scream. It’s just—everything is too much and he needs to not be here and he needs Zoe and Connor to not be looking at him like they think he’s about to start sobbing beside the mouthwash section.“Okay,” Zoe says, kind of quiet like she’s trying to calm him down a little. “Ready to check out?”Evan doesn’t trust himself to speak, so he nods jerkily and keeps his gaze trained on the ground, not wanting to see the expressions on their faces. God, can’t he function like a normal human being for one afternoon? Why does Evan always have to ruin everything—like this was just supposed to be a fun trip to the grocery store. A fun trip to the grocery store! That’s it! And he can’t handle it! It’s ridiculous.Zoe moves around Evan and Connor comes up to stand beside Evan, narrowly avoiding hitting their buggies together. “You know, we could just ditch Zoe with all the groceries, run to the car, and do a couple circles around the block to piss her off.”The mental image of Zoe chasing after the car and shaking her fist at them is enough to make Evan snort. She would probably ignore both of them for the whole ride back to the apartment and then Evan would offer her a bite of his Chunky Monkey and she’d eat half the carton and forgive him. Not Connor though. She wouldn’t forgive Connor until he offered to pay for the three of them to go see a movie, snacks and gas money included. She’d order a whole meal to piss him off and then they’d spend the entirety of the previews arguing about something stupid. Evan’s happy their arguments have steadily become less aggressive so now it’s only a little more intense than the usual sibling bickering. He hasn’t had to deal with a supremely upset Zoe after Connor said something devastating in a month, at least.“I don’t,” Evan takes a steadying breath. “I don’t think Zoe would appreciate that.”“That’s kind of the point.”Evan chuckles and Connor smiles a little bit and it’s—it’s better. It’s not good, but it’s better. And that’s enough.Connor knocks his shoulder into Evan’s before moving in front of him and Evan follows behind, smiling when Zoe gives Connor shit for taking so long to get to the register. Zoe engages the cashier in a rousing conversation about the weather while Connor carelessly lays things out on the conveyor belt, overturning a container of pastries so that the icing migrates from the food to the plastic lid. Connor puts one of those divider sticks between his and Evan’s groceries before helping Evan unload his buggy, giving Evan a betrayed look when he picks up the carton of almond milk Evan grabbed. “Et tu, Evan?”Zoe distracts the cashier throughout both of the purchases, so Evan doesn’t have to say anything besides a quick “thank you” when the woman hands him his change.The bag boy doesn’t bother trying to grab Evan’s car after receiving a glare from Connor when he tried to take his, which is really nice, because Evan is particularly bad at saying no, and he wouldn’t be able to handle the casual chatter required to walk to the car with the bag boy. Evan lets Zoe take his buggy so she can hop up on the lower basket and skate through the automatic doors, somehow managing to navigate her way through the parking lot on the buggy without running into a car or falling off. Evan keeps pace with Connor, who seems to be in no hurry to get to the car, and the quiet between them is nice. With Zoe, Evan always feels like he has to talk, which he knows Zoe doesn’t expect from him, but Zoe’s so nice and so easy to talk to and Evan really likes Zoe so he doesn’t want her to think he doesn’t care or that he’s not fun or something. It’s different with Connor.A lot of stuff is different with Connor.Zoe’s waiting at the trunk of the SUV their parents gifted them when their mom got some eco-friendly hybrid a few years back, holding the carton of almond milk up like Connor had, looking entirely too proud of herself. “See, Connor, your boyfriend agrees that almond milk is superior to all other milk. Why can’t you be more like Evan?”“I bet Evan only got that crap because you peer pressured him into getting it.”“No way! Evan made this decision independently; I don’t meddle in other people’s milk-buying process.”“You were bitching about me getting soy milk last time the whole way here. He was literally in the car for all of that.”Evan starts unloading the groceries into the trunk while the other two argue over whether Zoe influenced Evan’s purchase or not. In all honesty, he just grabbed the milk closest to him and bolted from the aisle because he accidentally made eye contact with an old guy and the old guy frowned at him and he didn’t want his presence to ruin that old guy’s shopping experience.Evan carefully organizes the groceries so his are on the left and the Murphys’ are on the right, which he knows is pointless because Zoe will undoubtedly force him to take a few bags of groceries she bought specifically for him, acting like it’s no big deal and insisting that it’s “what friends do.” Jared and Alana certainly never by him groceries, but Evan stopped bringing that up after the first couple times. He’s learned to just accept this custom as Zoe being Zoe. (And as Connor being Connor because he has gotten stuff multiple times that only Connor knew he liked, but Connor doesn’t like taking credit for that kind of thing.)Once the groceries are all in the trunk, Zoe takes the buggies back to the corral after telling Evan to not let Connor be a dick and strand her in a Publix parking lot. Connor rolls his eyes, but doesn’t start the car when he slides into the driver’s seat and Evan clambers into the passenger seat. Evan’s been in that seat about a thousand times over the past few months and he has still yet to perfect getting into it without a) looking like a baby giraffe in roller skates, b) hitting his head on the roof off the car, or c) banging some body part against the dashboard. The step up into the SUV is just too high, in his opinion.Connor folds his arms on top of the steering wheel, leaning forward and resting his chin on his arms and looking out the window, looking as amazing as Connor always looks. Connor’s just—he’s just amazing, you know? Like, yeah, he’s mean and angry sometimes and he can’t let anything go when he’s upset—he’s the master of twisting your words into something that is the exact opposite of what you intended—and he’ll go off the grid for a whole week and then just reappear and refuse to talk about where exactly he’s been hiding for the past week and, when he’s angry or hurt, he says some pretty awful things, but he also always knows what to say when Evan is freaking out and he always makes sure Zoe gets Evan those stupid tree cake things because they make Evan smile and he doesn’t push Evan to be anything he’s not and he makes Evan feel—well, not normal, not exactly, but something close to it. He makes Evan feel like maybe one day he can walk into a Publix and smile at old ladies and talk to the cashier and let the bag boy help him unload his groceries. He makes him feel like things will get better. Not soon, but eventually.“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” Connor mumbles, giving Evan the side-eye for staring.“Sorry,” Evan says, but he’s not really sorry and Connor knows that, so he huffs a little because he’s Connor and he can’t make it obvious that he likes when Evan looks at him like that.Zoe returns, sliding into the back seat and hitting the back of Connor’s seat, and Connor glares at Zoe in the rearview mirror. He is without a doubt going to slam on his breaks hard on the way back to the apartment so that Zoe faceplants in the back of his seat and Zoe will know it’s coming because he always puts his arm across Evan to make sure he doesn’t hit his face on the dashboard because that would really take the fun out of things. Evan rarely gets minor injuries—he basically either gets a broken nose or nothing, and Connor is not going to accidentally break his boyfriend’s nose. Again.Connor backs out of the parking space without incurring any casualties and, once they’re on the road, he puts his hand on the gearshift. Rests it there, casually. Evan puts his hand on the edge of his seat, palm up. Connor’s hand slides off the gearshift, landing on top of Evan’s hand, and Evan threads their fingers together, trying—and failing—to not smile like a dork.“That’s gay,” Zoe says, making her voice a little deeper in what she calls her “Jared impression.” Evan laughs and Connor smiles a little and Zoe’s giggling at her own joke and it’s one of those perfect moments where everyone is happy and Evan is calm and life is good.So. Maybe going to Publix isn’t so bad after all.
10424772	Have Yourself a Merry	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "Gen", "Characters": "Q (Bond - Craig movies), Mycroft Holmes, Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, James Bond, Bill Tanner, Q Branch Character(s), Eve Moneypenny, Greg Lestrade, Molly Hooper, Mrs. Hudson (Sherlock Holmes)", "Fandom": null, "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by E_J_Morgan", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-24T00:00:00", "words": "5,792", "Additional Tags": "Q is a Holmes, Teenage!Q, Christmas", "Relationship": "Brothers - Relationship", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "Q-niverse AU", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "Sherlock (TV), James Bond (Craig Movies)", "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	No. Benedict--- I said: no! It’s Christmas in two days, Sherlock. I won’t give you any more intel about Moriarty’s web until after the holidays. All of us need a little down-time to gather energy. Even you. I don’t! I want to work. It’s boring without work. Just give me something! I give you a holiday. But what should I do here? Well, Italy is supposed to be beautiful. If I were you I’d surely have a look around. Florence is just a few miles away from where you are right now. Have you been there at all? It has the Piazzale Michelangelo, the Piazza del Duomo with the Duomo itself, the Piazza della Signora, the Palazzo Vecchio, the--- Who cares about all of these, when I should be hunting for remaining members of Spectre!? --- the Palazzo Pitti, Boboli Gardens, Forte di Belvedere--- Did you swallow a travel guide? I’m going to book you a comfortable, central-situated hotel so that you can visit everything just by walking and using public transportation. How often do you get the opportunity to travel on Government’s money? And I’m sure it’s especially beautiful around Christmas time; there are supposed to be lots of Christmas markets all around the city. I hate Christmas. You won’t hate it now. Yes, I will. All right then; suit yourself. You are allowed to suffer in Florence all you want. See if I care. You’re cruel. I’m glad we have finally established that. So, I’m going to send you all your tickets and bookings onto your cell. We’ll talk on Christmas Eve. Why? Are you going to tell me some news about Spectre then? No, Sherlock. It’s because we’re family, and families greet each other on Christmas. Oh… And if they don’t, then it’s a ‘bit not good’? More than a bit, actually… All right then. Tell Mycroft to expect my call on Christmas. Really? – He failed at hiding his surprise and of course Sherlock just needed to point it out… Why, little brother, one would get a feeling you don’t think I’m human. You now, at times like that, I can nearly believe you are… Well, okay, then on Christmas Eve, and until then do what you see fit to do with your free time. Hopefully there are some unsolved crimes to clear in Florence… You’re sick… Just do me a favor and don’t get arrested for bothering the local police or something like that! I, for one, want to have a little peace for a few days. Pull any such stunts and I might decide to leave you there for the time being. You wouldn’t. Of course I would: just ask any of my agents. They’re not YOUR agents even if you are--- Good bye, brother. The boy quickly disconnected the call in order not to have to argue with his brother so close to Christmas. Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q “Do you have plans for Christmas, son?” – Asked Tanner carefully on the next day, entering the Quartermaster’s office, clearly a bit unsure: not wanting to hurt the ‘grieving’ boy’s feelings but also wishing to make sure he wouldn’t sit home alone, feeling sad and depressed. “Well, Eve has informed me I’m not allowed to get out of MI6’s Christmas party… So evidently that’s what I’m going to do tomorrow, on Christmas Eve.” “And on Christmas Day and Boxing Day?” “Well, I’ll have to visit Mycroft on one day (probably Boxing Day), and I would also like to talk to Doctor Watson… He must be feeling very lonely now. He’s still grief-stricken.” “It’s not easy on anyone, especially you. Nobody would fault you if you weren’t the one comforting him for losing a friend. You lost a brother.” “I know that, but… We; that is to say: Mycroft and I; owe it to Sherlock to not let his first and best friend waste away…” “All right. But I would like you to be with me on Christmas Day. It’s a tradition for us already and I am hoping not to break it this year either. Just because you’re seventeen now, you shouldn’t be too old for my turkey, I hope?” “Of course not! I can’t wait.” – It really was a tradition and the boy didn’t wish to change it. Bill seemed very relieved and happy. He was actually whistling a tune that sounded suspiciously like ‘Jingle Bells’ as he was leaving Q-Branch. Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q His minions had really outdone themselves this year. Q had to blink a few times when he entered Q-Branch early morning on December 24, and found the whole place covered with stockings, wreaths, garlands, mistletoe and other kinds of eccentric Christmas decorations. He let Pixel and Confetti out of their cat carrier so that they could explore this new spectacle. They darted away at once enthusiastically with a happy meow. If they should happen to break a few of the ornaments on the lower level of the huge Christmas tree that had been situated in the middle of the room, no problem: there would still remain more than enough in the boy’s opinion. R came to meet him at the door, looking slightly worried. “Overlord, I hope you don’t mind… We couldn’t help ourselves… But we’ll keep it all down if it’s bothering you this year. We would understand, honestly.” Q looked around and all were watching him with regret, as if already having second thoughts about what they had done in the presence of a grieving person. He smiled at their thoughtfulness. “No, it’s okay. I think what I need is exactly a happy environment now. Good job with the room by the way!” “Thank you!” – Beamed R. – “We came in two hours earlier than usual to get it ready by the time we have to start working.” “Wow.” “Boss!” – Shouted one of the minions. – “Would some Christmas music be too much…? It wouldn’t hinder work, I swear!” The teenager had to stop himself from laughing out loud. His trained, professional workers were like children indeed! Even Pixel and Confetti seemed to look at him hopefully. What could he say against such opposition? “No, Isaac, it’s fine. If it won’t keep your minds from your tasks then I certainly don’t mind it.” “Yupeee!” Soon the first words of ‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer’ filled the room from every speaker as Q made his way into his office, shaking his head fondly. Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q “Hi, Alec, what’s up?” – Asked the teenager the nervous-looking agent who had just entered his office, behaving uncharacteristically fidgety. – “Is everything all right or is something wrong?” “Oh… Yes, yes… Of course… “Which one is ‘of course’? – You should never ask two opposite things at once. “What? Well… Ahm…” Q narrowed his eyes; feeling instantly suspicious. “Did you set something on fire again?” “Ahm… No?” “Then something exploded?” – Guessed the boy. “I wish!” Now the teenager felt really confused. “Then why are you sweating and shaking?” “I’m not!” – Answered the man too quickly and flopped down onto the couch with an undignified ‘thud’. – “I…” – He coughed. – “I would like to ask a favor of you.” Q turned around with his swivel chair to fully face the spy. “And what would that be, 006? I will state in advance I’m not making you any fireworks as a Christmas present so that you can wreak havoc on New Year’s Eve!” “That’s not what I wanted to ask… Thought it’s a good idea… Are you sure there’s no way I could convince you to do that?” “I’m absolutely sure, so I suggest you go on with whatever you wanted to say originally.” “All right. Remember your older brother’s assistant? That beautiful woman?” “You mean Anthea?” “Exactly her, yes.” “Of course I remember her. She’s been with our family for ages. What about her?” “But she’s really not related, is she? She said she wasn’t…” – The agent wanted to clarify. “No, Alec, she isn’t. She is just an assistant, honest.” “Good.” – The man had the nerve to not even try to hide his relief. – “Then make her say yes to a date with me! Please!” “WHAT!? No way!” “Please! Please, please! She’s wonderful and unique and---“ “Very busy, a lone wolf and dangerous.” Trevelyan blinked a few times. “Yes, well, that too. But I want to try to charm her!” “And you need my help with that because…?” “Because I don’t have her number, nor do I know where she lives and I’m not brave enough to look for her when she’s with your brother.” “Oh, the famous womanizer is frightened!” – Laughed Q mirthfully. “Hahaha. You can make fun of me as much as you want, but please, Q, I beg you: help me! It has turned out that James can make a relationship work, so it shouldn’t be impossible for me either. And should I remind you that you helped him as well?” That was true, there was no denying it… He had helped Bond by getting a job at MI6 for Madeleine, thus ensuring they would have a common ground for their life together. And no secrets. That’s very important. The boy sighed meekly. “All right. I’ll do what I can but bear in mind: no guarantees. I have never seen her interested in anyone in all these years I’ve known her. She might turn out to be just as antisocial as my brothers.” Alec jumped up and enveloped the flabbergasted boy into a tight hug. “You’re a god!” So, for lack of any better option, he called the unfortunate woman as soon as Alec left the office, singing all the way out of Q-Branch ‘I Saw Alec kissing Anthea’ loudly. Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q The Christmas Party MI6 Edition was a hit! Everyone was gathered in Q-Branch, eating, drinking and singing. Q didn’t know how his terrain had become the unofficial party-scene but since his birthday it had never been questioned anymore where they would set up the Christmas tree that year. Even the kittens had gotten new fluffy pillows to make their cat beds more comfortable for them and one of the minions had brought special exclusive cat food which they had attacked vigorously right away. (“Now they’ll be spoiled and won’t want to eat anything else anymore!” – Lamented the boy.) Someone (probably Moneypenny, though she had never admitted to it) had set Paddington Bear onto the table next to the enormous traditional Christmas chocolate cake, and exchanged his hat for a red bow. The teddy didn’t seem to mind it at all. Even M appeared to be absolutely relaxed as he was talking with Tanner and a few department heads over their plum puddings. It was evident they weren’t talking about anything work-related by the way they gesticulated and made movements imitating a baseball game. The minions had started a ‘Pin the red nose on Rudolph’-game. Sarah seemed to be winning so far; well, at any rate, she was the only one who hadn’t jabbed herself with the pin yet. Madeleine, R and Moneypenny were trying to guess the contents of the Christmas stockings with the agents betting on their success. Madeleine swore she would win, given her profession which meant she knew people very well. She claimed to be able to say what was suited for a certain person. But secretly, Q was sure that Eve would emerge victorious. And she didn’t even need any hidden talents for that at all, since as M’s personal secretary, she had surely been the one actually making the arrangements for all the gifts. The little cheat had naturally forgotten to mention that to her opponents. Everyone noticed Alec not eating anything at all. How could they not have? The agent was famous for having an appetite that would put an elephant to shame. Q, deciding that enough was enough, walked over to talk to him. “Alec, what’s the matter?” “I’m just nervous. You know why…” – Whispered 006, looking around carefully as if to make sure nobody was listening in on their conversation. The teenager knew the man had to make an effort no to ask about what he had been able to achieve with his ‘future wife’. Appreciating the sentiment, he patted Alec on the one shoulder he could reach from that angle. “Hey, it’s okay. It was not easy, mind you, but she is willing to give you a chance.” “What? Are you sure? Really? Or are you just making fun of me? Is she---“ “What are your plans for New Year’s Eve?” “Nothing…” “Wrong. You’re going to meet Anthea at 6 PM in front of Holmes Manor. I’ll give you the address later. Then you’re going to take her to a restaurant where you will treat her to a candle lit dinner and soft music in the background. Then you’ll take her to dance. You wouldn’t guess it just by looking at her but she loves dancing.” “How am I ever going to thank you for it?” “Just by not messing it up. I like her very much and if you insult her in any way, she’s going to be angry with me for setting the two of you up. So, behave yourself, 006! Be a gentleman: she’s not a mark.” “Yes, sir!” – Alec actually saluted him, then went to take an enormous piece of the traditional Christmas pudding and started eating it as if he had been starving for days. After a few bites he turned back to Q as if just remembering something, and said with full mouth: - “Just one more thing, Kitten. Can you teach me to dance?” The boy had to fight the sudden urge to bang his head into the nearest wall. Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q The next day was spent at Tanner’s, like all the Christmas Days every year since he had joined MI6 as a small, scrawny 12-year-old. He still absolutely felt at home and relaxed there now that he was a small, scrawny 17-year-old. In all honesty: not much had changed. Bill’s turkey was still unmatched in the whole world and Q even helped with the mashed potatoes and the red cabbage, even though everyone knew he was absolutely hopeless in the kitchen. Fortunately, Bill was a very patient teacher. Well, to a degree… “No, no, son, stop! Do you have a grudge against those potatoes?” “Ahm... No?” “Then why are you torturing them like that? If they could, I’m sure they’d be screaming in pain.” “Well, sorry, I’ve no idea how to mash them properly without applying strength. They’re very resistant.” “No, they’re just not used to this brutal treatment. Look, I’ll show you.” – And he did. Q just blinked. “All right, I admit: it does look easier this way. But only because I’ve already exhausted them for you!” Bill rolled his eyes. “Just be gentle with them.” – He said, handling the bowl back to the boy. – “They’re already dead; there’s no need to kill them again.” Q muttered ‘they’re just going to be the supper, what’s so important about them?’ under his breath which Tanner chose to ignore as they continued their respective tasks. ‘One potato, two potatoes, three potatoes, four…’ “Son, are you humming a children’s song?” “Ahm… No?” “Okay…” ‘Five potatoes, six potatoes, seven potatoes, more…’ Later, Q also helped set the table (he was much better at that, well, at least he didn’t break anything), and carry the food onto it. “Good appetite. Tuck in!” – Was the cue Tanner gave to begin eating. Q didn’t have to be told twice this time. “Hmmm… that’s very good. Have you ever thought about becoming a chef?” – Asked the boy around a big bite of turkey. “Well, my ex used to make me cook a lot… I mean, when I was at home… I guess it wasn’t a lot then.” “Her loss. My gain.” – He swallowed some side dish with gusto. After dinner, they watched Home Alone, commenting on every scene, just like each year spent together (‘That’s just ridiculous. Totally improbable.’ ‘Did you see that? Try doing that for real!’ ‘Oh my God, I’m sure Hollywood has never seen real gadgets to think up things like that!’). They also did the washing up (Q had insisted he wouldn’t leave the dirty dishes for the man to clean alone), before the boy said goodnight and left. As soon as he got home, he fed the kittens then called Sherlock. Happy Christmas! Yeah… whatever. The same to you. How is Florence? There hasn’t been a good murder for ages! That’s outrageous! What a city. Not even an attempted assassination in the last few years. Nothing at all. Must be horrible living there. What about Christmas markets? Christmas is everywhere with lights, decorations, mulled wine… and people are generally very cheerful. I can’t stand it. Try not to sound so disgusted about it when you call Mycroft. He would make fun of you mercilessly. Or maybe he’d understand me better; you seem to have gone soft. Did you tell him I’d call? No, I wanted it to be a surprise. Oh, it is going to be, make no mistake. I’m sure I’ll hear about it. I’m sure you will. John…? I’ll visit him first thing tomorrow. Will you… I don’t know… help him not to feel so alone? He has always liked ridiculous things like celebrating special events like this. Of course. Good bye, Sherlock and please: at least make an effort not to suffer too much. It’s Christmas. After the phone call, he checked his e-mails. This time of the year was always so much calmer; for example, right now he only had 84 messages to download. Most of them junk mail he could delete right away. He always considered it an exceptionally good day when he didn’t have over a hundred demands to answer. Funnily, there was also an e-mail waiting for him on an account that hadn’t been used for a while. It went like that: ‘Hi, Danny. How are you? I’m sorry I haven’t written for so long… Well, I just wanted to wish you a very merry Christmas and a happy new year. I hope you’re not angry with me… I hope you’ll answer. Bye. Annabel’ Now what was there to write to that? He couldn’t very well say that his flat had been exploded or that his brother had committed suicide… ‘I’m fine’ didn’t sound enough. What should he do? The old problem all over again… Did Annabel have to torture him when she already had a new boyfriend and lived ‘happily ever after’? Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q The next day, Q arrived to John’s new ‘home’ at 10 AM. He knocked on the door and waited patiently for the older man to open it. “Benedict, hi! I didn’t know you were coming. What happened?” “Nothing, Doctor Watson: it’s Christmas. I came to celebrate it with you. Would you help me carry the tree from the car inside?” John looked at the boy as if he feared he was out of his mind. “The what from where to where?” “Tree. Car. Inside. Come on!” – The boy grabbed the doctor’s arm and pulled him out into the bitter cold weather. – “We should hurry up. It’s freezing!” “Benedict, where is that car from and how did it get here?” “Why, I drove it here of course. (“You did WHAT!?”) Or did you expect me to bring the tree on my shoulders?” – He opened the trunk and pointed at the middle-sized pine tree lying in there, happily waiting for them to set it up. – “Come on, grab one side!” John was too stunned to do anything else but obey the boy. Together they somehow got the tree into the small space without much difficulty. Q instructed to man to wait for a moment and ran back out to get the adjustable stand along with an enormous bag full of decorations and who knew what else, and to lock the car up. Not that anyone would dare steal a Government car. Once inside again, he put the bag and the car keys down, and then they started working on setting the tree. “I think it looks best this way. Yes. This angle is optimal.” – Mused the boy. “Benedict, what is the meaning of this?” – Asked John gesturing around as soon as he was able to release the tree without fear of it falling onto the dining table. “Well, I think that the tradition of setting a Christmas tree originates way back from the ancient times, with the evergreen being the symbol of life and---“ “That’s not what I meant! What I wanted to know is---“ But Q suddenly thrust the bag into his hands to occupy him, effectively halting the man’s questioning. “Hold it, please. We need to string the lights first. Actually, I think you should do it; you’re taller than I am.” John did it. What other option did he have? The boy seemed very determined and refused to stop even for a moment to talk things through. He also wouldn’t listen to reason so it was no use trying it. “Are you satisfied?” – Inquired the doctor, still totally confused. “Yes, good job! Now the ornaments and figurines. Oh, and look what I brought; I ordered them extra from abroad: these are called fondant-candy or ‘szaloncukor’ in Hungarian. They’re small pieces of fondant or other kinds of filling with different flavors, covered in chocolate and wrapped in shiny, colorful paper that can be hung on the tree. Later you may eat them as well of course. They’re supposed to be very good.” “You had them delivered from Hungary? For me?” “Exactly.” “But why? And how did you know I don’t have a tree?” – The boy just gave him a look that said it all without words. – “Right. Stupid question. You’re a Holmes after all. You can’t not know.” “We should put up decorations all around the flat as well. Here’s an Advent wreath. I bit late for it, I know, but it will still look good on the table and we can light the candles in the afternoon when the guests are going to be here.” “The guests?” “Yes, of course! What did you expect?” “Not that for sure…” – Muttered John, looking around frantically as if searching for an escape. Not finding one that hadn’t been blocked entirely by the obviously crazy boy’s things, he settled on asking instead: - “And may I inquire who all will be coming? Because that’s a very small flat even without a tree standing in the middle of it you know.” “Not many, don’t worry. Just DI Lestrade, Miss Hooper, Mrs. Hudson, Bond and Mycroft.” “Not many? Not many!?” “Oh, come on, cheer up, doctor! We still need to make some sandwiches. I won’t even attempt to do anything more because I’m a catastrophe when it comes to cooking… But sandwiches will do. I have everything for them in the bag. Help me unpack, please.” They worked on creating something edible for a time in silence. In the end, John spoke up: “You’re so very much like to HIM, you know. It’s actually creepy.” Q didn’t need to ask who ‘him’ was. “You mean I’m as ingenious?” “As headstrong and rude. If you want something, you don’t stop ‘till you do it, regardless of anything and anyone else.” “Oh.” “I liked it in him even though I complained about it a lot. I’m not the kind of person who would go out to look for friends or even go to any lengths to keep in touch with anyone. Without your family, I think I’d be very lonely. Just like before…” “You won’t ever be lonely, I can promise you this. I’ve told you a few times: once the Holmes family accepts you into the inner circle, there’s no getting out of it. And there’s also no reason why you shouldn’t keep the contact with all your other friends as well.” “I don’t know… Funny how for all of his sociopathic tendencies it was really Sherlock who kept this team together. No idea how though.” “Because of his way of charming everyone. You know, when I was a child, he would sometimes disappear for days. Even Mycroft didn’t know at times where to. Then he would emerge and bring a ‘friend’ with him. Of course, not the normal kind, mind you. A stray dog, a bird with a broken wing, a homeless man or a runaway teenager… whatever. The more unusual, the better.” “Oh, dear. He did that in Baker Street. He had a whole ‘homeless network’ helping him with investigations.” “Can’t say I’m surprised. I guess they were those ragged-looking blokes on the funeral?” – They finished the sandwiches and continued with forming chocolate coconut balls using further ingredients that had miraculously appeared from the teenager’s bag. John had remarked it was exactly like Santa Claus’ sack. – “I thought it better if we just use rum extract instead of the real thing. Some of us are driving home afterwards.” – He explained, showing John the little vial containing some kind of darkish colored liquid. “Did you really drive here?” “Of course.” “But how? I never knew you even had a license.” “I haven’t had it for long.” – Shrugged the boy. – “But I’ve been driving for years, don’t worry.” John looked exasperated. “How is that possible?” “I work for MI6.” – Answered the teenager as if it explained everything. – “See, we have around 60 little coconut balls. Do you think it’s going to be enough? I mean, Mycroft is coming as well…” “I think we’ll be fine.” “Good, then let’s set the table. I brought paper plates and plastic utensils so that there won’t be much to wash up later. I don’t want to use up your warm water supply.” “That’s very considerate of you.” “Do you have more festive tablecloths?” – Q asked, indicating the dull gray table mat currently in use. It was quite dirty and torn in a few places. “Ahm… no, sorry.” “It’s okay. It’s a good thing I brought one with me then.” “I will not ask how you knew to do it…” Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q The guests arrived at 4 PM, all bringing drinks and cookies to share with everyone. They didn’t seem appalled by the way John was living (or possibly just didn’t want to show it), and were all behaving cheerfully, not looking angry about the doctor having all but abandoned them after Sherlock’s funeral. John quickly found himself rather enjoying the gathering, having totally forgotten his initial reservations about the matter. He was also very happy having his old friend, James Bond there. For the first time since losing Sherlock, he felt really carefree again. Q was glad about it: that had been his original intention after all, that had been the reason that he had done all these instead of staying at home with his cats and sleeping. God, he was so very tired! The last few weeks had been hell on him with helping Sherlock and doing his job in MI6 simultaneously. His head was also beginning to hurt a bit from all the noise the people were making in the small confined place, so he chose to go out to the fresh air for a bit. He found Mycroft also outside, smoking a cigarette. “It’s a disgusting habit.” – He remarked, walking towards the older man. Mycroft turned halfway around to peer at his little brother, before taking another drag. “Then I suggest you don’t try it ever.” “Why not? You don’t seem to have a problem with it.” “But you’re better than me.” “That’s not true.” – Said the boy and extended his hand towards his brother in a silent invitation. “Oh, no; forget it. I’m not going to give it to you.” “Yes, you will.” – He quickly snatched the cigarette from Mycroft’s hand before the older man could have reacted at all. The teenager took a puff and promptly started coughing violently, dropping the offending stump as if it had bitten his hand, falling to his knees at the same time. “Jesus, Benedict, are you crazy?” – Asked Mycroft shaking his head, then crouched down to the trembling and still apparently drowning boy to see if he was all right. “I di--- kkkhhh--- didn’t think it was---- kkkhhh--- that horrible!” – Lamented the boy with tears from pain in his eyes. His lungs were burning! “I could have told you, had you not just grabbed it from me so suddenly.” “I would--- kkkhh--- wouldn--- ohh--- kkkhhh----“ “Hey, easy, easy! Just take nice deep breaths. That’s it. I know very well you wouldn’t have believed me.” “I can’t--- breathe---“ “Yes, you can. Just relax. You can save the insults for later, when you won’t want to pass out on me anymore.” For once, Q took his brother’s advice to the heart and gradually started to feel better. Mycroft patted his back with loving exasperation, thinking to himself that his little brothers would be the death of him one day. This unfortunate episode hadn’t helped the boy’s initial headache of course but at least he could breathe again. His attempt at getting up from the ground remained unsuccessful though. He huffed in frustration. Some passersby shot him condemning looks, probably believing him to be drunk. He must have looked it at any rate. Fortunately, Mycroft scared them away with just a glare so they all scattered away quickly. “Oh, God. Why would anyone willingly smoke? Does it get better on second try?” “NO! Don’t even dare think about it, Benedict, I mean it!” “Don’t worry, I wouldn’t…” – He managed to get to his feet this time but still felt a little wobbly. “Would you mind telling me why you felt it important to try a cigarette right now?” “I don’t know…” “You always know everything. You’re a genius.” – Q didn’t react. – “Benedict!” “All right. I just thought… well… people say it’s relaxing. Of course I should have known that people are generally stupid…” “Now you really sound like Sherlock. Listen to me: sleeping is relaxing. Eating regularly is relaxing as well. Doing something just for fun is relaxing. You don’t need to smoke for that.” “You do.” Mycroft sighed. “You’ve never wanted to resemble me in anything. Why begin now?” Q leaned against the wall tiredly. “Because you’re really unaffected by all this shit that’s going on. You really are the Ice Man. I want to be like that.” “No, you don’t. You’re Benedict Dominic Holmes. I’m Mycroft Holmes. We’re two different people. I want you to be you.” “Haven’t you always said that caring was a disadvantage? How I should be more like the two of you and not pursue my childish dreams about having friends and a life outside of our house?” “Well, I was wrong and you proved it ages ago in a very brutal, albeit certainly effective way. And don’t make me say it again: you know I don’t admit easily to being wrong.” “That I know. I’m sorry.” “It’s okay.” “It’s not easy to always have to be the cheerful one.” “Yes, I think I understand… But nobody expects it from you.” “Yes, they do. These are dark times. Someone has to remain optimistic, we would all sink into depression otherwise.” Mycroft knew the teenager was right. These were not easy times and right now the boy had to be the strong one for everyone’s sake. There was nothing he could say to help with it though because he knew he himself would be incapable of doing the same. He really was the Ice Man. “I’m sorry; I honestly wish I could help you with that. But I can’t. I simply have no idea how to make others feel better.” “I know. It’s all right. Oh, that reminds me: you need to let Anthea leave at 6 PM on New Year’s Eve.” “Why would I need to do it? It’s a day just like any other.” “Because she’ll have to meet her date at that time.” “WHAT? Anthea? Date? Did the cigarette damage your brain that quickly?” “Are you always that exceptionally funny or is it just because it’s Christmas, dear brother?” “Are you serious? She has a date?” “Yep. 006.” – He held up his hands in a placating way. – “Don’t say anything. You don’t know him like I do. He’s actually quite a nice guy when he wants to be.” “Then I strongly advise him to want it.” “I told him the same. Don’t worry: he knows I’ll kill him if he misbehaves.” Mycroft had no doubt the boy could do it. This boy could do anything. “All right. She can leave at six. But then I would like to ask a favor of you as well.” “Why does everyone always want favors from me? Okay… What is it?” “Just… please, don’t try to grow up too quickly.” Q was taken aback. That was not what he had expected at all. “What?” “I mean just please, don’t start to smoke, don’t try to shoulder everyone’s problems all the time… generally just live a teenager’s life as much as possible. Do not rush ahead. You’ll have enough opportunities to be a grown up when the time will be right for it in a few years.” “Oh…” – The boy didn’t know what to say. Fortunately, Mycroft didn’t seem to be finished anyway. “You’re the best of us three, you know.” “What?” “The best. You. Despite all my efforts; however unconscious and unintended they might have been; to ruin you when you were little… You still turned out to be the best person I’ve ever known. You didn’t let my misplaced attempts at child raising ruin you. So, don’t let this situation do it either. You’re stronger than that. You’re stronger than the two of us - me and Sherlock - put together. So, may we go back in now?” – He asked his little brother. “Yeah… You won’t tell anyone about this little performance of mine, will you?” – The boy asked, meaning the smoking-fiasco. The oldest Holmes brother sighed again. “No, Benedict, I won’t.” “I mean anyone…” – He was referring to Sherlock of course. “I mean it like that, too.” – And Mycroft understood. “Merry Christmas, Myc.” The older man put his arm around the boy. “Merry Christmas to you too, little brother.” He steered the boy inside where they rejoined the party. The end
10478250	Kibum Goes to Olive	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "Other", "Characters": null, "Fandom": "SHINee", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Explicit", "author": "by kibumy", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-28T00:00:00", "words": "1,185", "Additional Tags": "Crack, Food, Please Don't Kill Me, Swearing, Porn", "Relationship": null, "Character": "Kim Kibum \| Key", "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Kibum glided into the black leather booth of his favorite low-quality dine in restaurant, breathing in the smell of the room’s garlicky pasta aroma, which sent chills down his spine. He’d planned this night out for weeks-- just him, some breadsticks, and a plate of sexy looking fettucini. Kibum had strategically reserved the small booth in the back of the restaurant just out of view from most of the public. Well, it was Tuesday, it wasn’t like the place was going to be full anyway. He had the host dim the table lights low to his lighting, and ordered himself a nice glass of wine before the breadsticks arrived. He ran his hand slowly over the cloth-covered wooden table, letting his fingertips fall gently across his freshly washed silverware. God, he was already hard. He needed to slow things down and savor the moment before he got out of control. He had to hid his look of arousal from the waiter when his wine arrived. Kibum took a daringly large swig, preparing himself for the first course. He felt his body temperature increase as he leaned back in the booth, running his hands over his chest and around his thighs, letting his fingers come daringly close to his arousal. Kibum sighed as he teased himself, still amazed at how much pleasure outings like this still brought him. Swallowing another drink of red wine, the man thumbed through his menu while simultaneously thumbing his fly open under the table. His rock hard cock peeked out just a bit from it’s confines, being teased ever so slightly. Kibum only used the menu as foreplay; he already knew what he wanted tonight. Kibum quickly sat up straight as he noticed the waiter approaching the table he had his dick out under. Oh fuck, here come the breadsticks , Kibum gulped and nearly keened in excitement. The waiter placed them gently to his right, with the browned, buttery ends pointing directly at him. He was so caught up in staring that he completely didn’t hear his waiter ask what he wanted for dinner, and snapped out of it. “I-I’ll have the fettucini,” Kibum practically moaned out loud. The waiter scribbled his order onto the notepad before walking off, leaving Kibum to his dirty fantasies once more. At this point, Kibum’s boxers were already stained with precum when he glanced seductively to the three warm breadsticks waiting for him in their little napkin basket. He made sure he was as far back in the booth as possible when he completely pulled his pants down underneath the tablecloth, releasing his rock hard cock. He reached over and slid the basket of breadsticks over, generously plucking the first one from it’s cavern. Kibum held it firmly in his grasp, letting the butter coat his fingers, and then brought it to his mouth to take a single, long lick from one end to the other. He flicked his tongue at the end, letting the garlic salt and butter generate heaps of saliva in his mouth. Instead of taking a bite, Kibum lowered the breadstick down to his fully erect dick, dragging it along his sensitive shaft. He wrapped his hand around both his dick and the breadstick and began to jerk himself slowly, savoring the buttery goodness. With his other hand, Kibum grabbed a second breadstick from the basket and generously coated his hand with the remaining butter that hadn’t soaked in yet. He let his fingers become slick before bringing them to his tight hold, gently lubricating and working himself open with the buttery digits. The garlic salt burned his asshole harshly as he entered, but my God did he love the pain. The first breadstick was now being eagerly rubbed with Kibum’s dick as he finger-fucked himself with his other hand. Kibum knew better than to actually try and fuck the breadstick. It was too light and airy, it would just fall apart inside him. He made than mistake a few years ago and had to sit through the rest of his meal with half a breadstick in his ass. Kibum tried his best to keep his eyes from falling shut so he could watch out for the waiter. It had been a while and his food was probably almost done. He figured he should slow down and try to not make it look like he was getting off with a breadstick, but it was just too pleasurable to stop. All of a sudden, his waiter nearly appeared out of nowhere with his meal, and Kibum has to awkwardly scramble to not look so lust-filled as he thanked the waiter for bringing him his meal. He sighed once the man left again, having nearly been caught in the act. Kibum looked down into the glorious meal before him. The fettucini had been delicately placed in a perfect, sexy, swirl on his plate, the cream sauce glistening over the al dente noodles. The hand that was once in his ass now reached up to grab his fork. Kibum dug the fork in the pasta and twirled it sensually, gathering a heaping amount of noodles. Lazily, in an effort to actually slather it all over his face, Kibum engorged his mouth over the creamy noodles, letting his tongue wiggle and maneuver in the sensation of the food. His hand on his cock was now stroking at twice the speed, the breadstick wearing down into crumbs in his boxers. He felt the pasta fall from his lips, so he shoveled in another forkful, letting it hit his gag reflex. At this point he couldn’t give two shits if he got caught-- he was feeling way too good to stop. Kibum let out a stifled moan as he shoved another round of the slimy white pasta into his mouth, letting it drip down his chin along with some of his own spit. He was so close, and oh God, this pasta was so fucking good it was driving him mad. His hand slowed to allow him to breathe for a minute, but then eagerly sped up again to finish the job. Kibum shoveled in a final large bite of fettucini as he felt his orgasm run through his entire body and out his dick as he moaned and writhed around his mouthful of pasta. Kibum shuttered as he came into his greasy, parmesan encrusted hand, crumbs strewn everywhere in the booth. Kibum leaned back into his seat, sweaty and exhausted from his lovely moment. Cream sauce was splattered all over his face and neck, and his whole lower half was greasy from the breadsticks. He loved it like this, feeling nasty and yummy all at the same time. Kibum smirked to himself as he pulled his pants back up and buttoned them, then took the last swallow of wine from his glass. He didn’t get out too often, but it was dates like this that kept him feeling youthful again. Kibum unravelled the cloth napkin at his side and wiped the excess food from his face, licking off any bits close to his mouth. “Check please.”
10455393	anesthesia	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Eugene Roe, Babe Heffron, Bill Guarnere", "Fandom": "Band of Brothers", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by ruinsrebuilt", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-26T00:00:00", "words": "1,325", "Additional Tags": "Alternate Universe - Hospital, Doctor Eugene, Patient Babe, Roommate/War Buddy Bill, One Shot, Anesthesia, Marriage Proposal, Fluff, loopy babe", "Relationship": "Babe Heffron/Eugene Roe", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	“Alright, everything looks good and he should be waking up soon.” Gene set his patient’s chart by the door of the small hospital room and turned to the man’s next of kin, a short, tough-looking man with a playful glint in his eye. “The anesthesia will take some time to wear off though, so he’ll be pretty out of it.”The man nodded. “Got it. Thanks, Doc. You really are a lifesaver.” He stuck out his hand. “I’m Bill, by the way.” Gene shook his hand. “Eugene.” “Thanks for pulling him through, Doc. He’s a stupid prick but he’s all I’ve got.” “Well it was only a broken arm, hardly brain surgery.” Gene smiled. “But it was my pleasure.” He hesitated, not wanting to be too obvious, but he thought the unconscious ginger was achingly cute and he needed to know. “Are you guys dating?” Bill threw back his head and barked a laugh. “Dating. HA. No way I’d date that ugly mug. We’re roomies. We were in Afghanistan together, and when we rotated home we just sort of stuck together.” Gene nodding understanding. “Funnily enough, I know exactly what you mean.” Bill gave him a curious look and he shrugged. “Found my best friend when I was deployed in Iraq. When we got back to the states we decided to apply at the same hospital; I couldn’t imagine parting ways after all we’ve been through.” “Ain’t that the truth.”They were interrupted by a sound from the bed, a sort of whine/moan, and Bill rushed to stand beside its ginger occupant. Gene followed, going to stand on the other side of the bed. Gently, Gene grabbed Babe’s hand. “Edward, can you hear me? Squeeze my hand.” Babe’s eyes were still closed but he turned his head in the general direction of Gene’s voice and faintly squeezed his hand. “That’s right, good job. Don’t make any sudden moves, just let yourself wake up slowly. Take your time.” A few minutes passed before Babe finally cracked open his eyes. They were red and dazed, and fell almost instantly on Gene. He did a cute little double-take, and blinked rapidly. “Who are you?” he slurred. “My name’s Gene. I’m your doctor. You broke your arm, do you remember anything?” Babe squinted like he was thinking really hard, all the while not taking his eyes off Gene. Finally he seemed to find the answer. “I love you.” Gene blinked. “Er... what?” Babe smiled, pleased with himself, his head rolling back onto the pillow. “I love youuuu.” Gene’s face was turning bright pink. He laughed. “Well, um... Thank you. That’s very nice.” He realized he was still holding Babe’s hand and went to let go, but Babe was holding on tightly. “NO. You have to stay.” He tried to sit up for emphasis and swayed a little before collapsing onto his back.Bill was barely holding in laughter, and when Gene sent him a pleading look he simply shrugged as if to say ‘I’m not the doctor.’ Gene sighed, embarrassed. “Alright, I’ll stay.” He motioned for Bill to bring him the stool that sat by the door, and sat down, not letting go of Babe’s hand.“I love you sooooooo much.” Babe’s head was resting on the pillow, facing Gene, and he had a dazed smile on his face. “You should love me too.” Gene chuckled. “But we just met today.” “I know, but we’re getting married.” “We are? Where are we getting married?” “At the chapel.” He started to hum, and Gene recognized the tune as Here Comes The Bride. He remembered seeing a Catholic medallion around Babe’s neck when he was brought into the ER and decided to rib him a little. “I see. Well, I don’t think I like the chapel too much.” Babe’s mouth hung open and he sounded shocked. “Why not?” “I’m just kidding, it’s okay.” Gene squeezed his hand. Babe relaxed again. “Oh good. I think we should get maaaaaarrriiieeeeeed. We’ll be the cutest couple ever. Gene, I love you.” Gene looked at Bill, who was recording the whole thing on his phone and grinning gleefully, and then back at Babe. “Well, thanks.” “Gene, you’re the cutest little guy around.” Babe’s eyes were half closed and he smiled fondly. “Thanks, Edward. I appreciate that.” Babe made a loud kissing noise and Gene blushed an even deeper shade of red. “Oh boy, you’re gonna have fun watching this when you wake up.” Babe made a confused face. “What?” “Nothing, nothing.” “Geeeennne.” “No worries, Edward. You’re okay.” “I like your face.” Babe reached up with his other hand and tried to stroke Gene’s face. Gene caught his hand and gently set it back on the bed. “Thank you, that’s… good.” Suddenly Babe’s face turned worried. “Gene, I’m scared.” Gene made a soothing sound. “Don’t be scared, you’re okay. There’s nothing to be afraid of, you’re just in the hospital.” Babe thrashed out, panicked. His eyes were wide. “I’m in the hospital? Why am I in the hospital?” “Shh. Shh, Babe, you’re okay. You broke your arm, but we fixed it. Everything’s fine.” He seemed to calm down a little at that, either soothed by Gene’s words or the lingering anesthesia.“Gene.” “I’m right here.” “Geeene.” “Squeeze my hand, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere okay.” “You called me Babe.” This stopped Gene for second. “What? When?” “Now.” Babe smiled, but his eyes were closed and he seemed to be drifting. Softly, to himself he whispered. “Me and Gene are getting married.” Gene thought me might have drifted off again but his eyes jolted open. “Bill? Bill?” Bill stepped into his line of vision. “Yeah boy, I’m here.” Babe relaxed again, and squeezed Gene’s hand. “Do you wanna be the flower girl at me and Gene’s wedding?” “Sure Babe, whatever you say.” Seemingly satisfied with this answer, Babe closed his eyes once more and was quiet. Occasionally he would squeeze Gene’s hand, until finally his hand went slack and Gene knew he was out again. He untangled his hand from Babe’s and stood. Bill shook his head. “That was wild. I can’t wait to show him the video. He’ll be so embarrassed.” Gene grinned. “He should be less out of it next time. I’m on the late night shift, so I should still be here. Have the nurse call me when he wakes up.” + The nurse had paged him to let him know his ginger admirer was awake. Gene had no doubt Bill had already shown Babe the video, and he was a little nervous to go back in, although he wasn’t exactly sure why. With a deep breath, he stepped into the room, and his eyes immediately landed on a blushing Babe. He looked mortified when he saw Gene. “Hi, doc.” “Edward, good to see you’re awake. How are you feeling?” “Pretty okay, just tired.” “Any pain?” “You mean besides my hurting pride?”Gene chuckled. “Hey now, it wasn’t that bad.” “C’mon doc, it was bad. I freaking proposed!” Babe covered his face with the arm that wasn’t in a cast.“Edward, really, it was cute. I was flattered.” Babe peaked out from under his arm. “You were?” “Of course. It’s not every day I get proposed to, y’know.” Gene grinned at him. Babe perked up. “You know, I could make it a repeat performance if you want…” He made a show of winking at him. Gene’s laughter was soft and sincere. “Well, I don’t know about that.” Before Babe had a chance to deflate, though, he said, “But I wouldn’t say no to a date.” “Really? You mean it?” “Yeah, I do. But only if you promise to be a good patient. You gonna listen to what I tell you?” Gene gave him a mock-stern look.Babe nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah Doc, whatever you say. You’re the boss.” Bill piped up from where he sat across the room, “Kinky.” “Ah stuff if, Gonorrhea.”
10485798	Language of Noises	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Sherlock Holmes, Molly Hooper, Mrs. Hudson (Sherlock Holmes)", "Fandom": "Sherlock (TV)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by Estrella3791", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-28T00:00:00", "words": "2,764", "Additional Tags": "Fluff, I LOVE MRS HUDSON, oh sherlock, and Molly, i love them, Written before Series 4", "Relationship": "Sherlock Holmes/Molly Hooper", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	221B Baker Street was, usually, a very calm, quiet place. That is, it was calm and quiet if you disregarded the shouts, gunshots, groans, thumps, muffled screaming, pacing footsteps, and violin music which emanated from the flat on a daily basis. Mrs. Martha Hudson knew what all of those noises meant. It was like a language, a language of noises, and she was fluent – at least, she could understand fluently. The shouts meant that either Sherlock had found a case which interested him, he, John, and/or Mary were having a row, or the consulting detective wanted tea. The gunshots meant that he was bored, and usually she ended up storming up the stairs and shouting at him to stop blowing holes in her walls. The groans also meant that he was bored, and was moaning for someone, anyone, to send him a real case, please. The thumps were him experimenting with whatever body parts the pathologist at Bart’s had let him smuggle out of the morgue. The muffled screaming was John and/or Mary trying to handle their frustration with the most childish man in all of London in a healthy way. The pacing footsteps meant that Sherlock was close to finishing up a case. He seemed to think better once his legs were slapping against the floor in a frankly quite irritating rhythm. The violin – well, that was something which even Mrs. Hudson didn’t pretend to understand. It could mean that he was bored, it could mean that he was thinking, it could mean that he was frustrated… who knew what went on in that funny old head of his? All in all, Martha felt that she had had built up a fairly good block against the noises issuing from the detective’s flat which prevented her from marching up the stairs and giving him a piece of her mind. This particular day, however, the usual thumps and gunshots (which, to Mrs. Hudson, were as quiet as it was ever going to get) were absent, and were replaced by an odd sound which Martha couldn’t place. It sounded almost as if Sherlock were thrashing about on the sofa, losing his balance, and falling onto the floor. There’d be some muffled curses, and then the noises would repeat. It was on the thirty-fifth thud that Martha lost her patience. Storming up the stairs, she decided that if he was going to insist on changing up his annoying sounds, she had a right to be angry. ‘Sherlock, what the-’ THUD! He was flopping around on and then falling off of the sofa. The sound of the impact and the ‘oof!’ that Sherlock let out softened Mrs. Hudson’s tender heart somewhat, and instead of the scathing ‘What the heck do you think you’re doing?’ she’d prepared she ended up saying, ‘Ooh, are you all right, dearie?’ Sherlock stood up, apparently trying to look dignified, which must have been difficult since he was only wrapped in his sheet. ‘Nothing of consequence, Mrs. Hudson,’ he said, and Martha nodded. ‘That’s what I thought. Well, then, I’ll let you get back to it.’ She was almost out the door when Sherlock’s plaintive voice reached her ears. ‘Mrs. Hudson?’ Against her will (she was still pretty ticked off, after all) she turned around and managed not to look like she wanted to throttle him (which she sometimes did). ‘Yes, Sherlock?’ He flopped back down on the sofa again, and Martha took the chair across from him. ‘I…’ he began, and then stopped. Martha was just a little surprised by this uncharacteristic monosyllabic statement, and felt concern rise up in the back of her mind. ‘Are you all right, dear?’ she asked, reaching over to place a hand against his forehead. ‘What? Yes! I’m fine!’ He swatted at her hand, and Martha sat back with a sigh of relief. He wasn’t too warm. Either he was trying to think something through and wanted an audience (and if that was what he’d gotten her all worked up for, she’d turn him out on the streets – in that darn sheet, no less, so help her!) or he was genuinely worried about something. ‘What do you need, Sherlock?’ she asked, trying to keep the remaining shreds of her patience from falling apart. ‘Does Molly Hooper look tired to you?’ Martha was suddenly very glad for her chair. ‘Molly… Molly Hooper? The pathologist at Bart’s?’ Sherlock nodded, looking impatient. ‘Tired?’ Sherlock nodded again, this time with a huff. Martha tried to focus on what Molly had looked like the last time she’d seen her, but all that she could think about was the fact that Sherlock had just asked her about a girl. Never mind that it wasn’t involved with romance. That didn’t really matter. What did matter was that Sherlock had noticed something about a human being that was not connected to a case. Unless… ‘Is this for a case?’ ‘What? No! Mrs. Hudson, if you are just going to ask silly questions, then I’m going to have to ask you to leave. My patience is wearing thin-’ ‘It’s just that you’ve never cared if anyone was tired, Sherlock. John’s been nearly dead on his feet and you’ve never even winced.’ Sherlock shook his head, sitting up straighter and looking so earnest that Martha thought he looked quite noble, even in his ridiculous sheet. ‘It’s not that kind of tired. She’s exhausted, Mrs. Hudson.’ He stood up and started his infernal pacing. ‘Her eyes always had some sort of… something. Were it not for the risk of sounding extremely cliché, I’d say they sparkled. The fact that she neither smiles nor laughs very often is rather unsettling, especially as she used to do both a significant portion of the time. She’s lost weight, and her hair doesn’t swish anymore, both of which suggest that she’s not eating well. And there are dark circles under her eyes, which practically scream that she’s not sleeping. All of these lead me to the conclusion that she’s depressed, but asking you that right away would have caused you to panic in concern for my mental welfare and health. Which is very nearly what happened as it was. Anyway, I need a second opinion and John’s away. So, does Molly Hooper look tired to you?’ Martha tried to digest what she had just heard. She’d need to do that before she actually answered the question. Starting from the beginning would be a good idea, she supposed. Molly Hooper. Her Molly Hooper, the one she invited over for tea at least once a week and the one who’d been smitten with Sherlock for years on end. Sherlock thought she looked depressed. And, bless her, she probably was. Martha hadn’t seen her in ages, but she’d looked a little pale the last time she had seen her, and, knowing Molly, that meant that something was wrong. The dear tried so hard not to show it whenever something was bothering her, but she couldn’t ever seem to get past Sherlock. But then, could anyone? ‘I… haven’t seen her in a while. Do you… have you talked to her?’ Sherlock looked at her like she was out of her wits. ‘No. What good would that do? This is Molly. She doesn’t talk about it when something’s wrong.’ Martha nodded slowly. ‘Sherlock, why did you notice this, and what does this have to do with you flopping around like a beached whale?’ ‘Mrs. Hudson, I hardly think that a whale would be-’ ‘Just answer the question, please, Sherlock,’ Martha said, rubbing her temple. ‘I… mightpossiblybeconcerned,’ Sherlock said in one breath, sounding like he’d rather be a beached whale than admit it to anyone. Mrs. Hudson tried not to squeal. Sherlock apparently noticed her excitement and hurriedly said, ‘she’s the only pathologist who will actually talk to Mike Stamford about getting me some samples for experiments. I’ve always been able to persuade her. Who will do it if she doesn’t?’ Martha nodded. ‘I see. Sherlock, you’ll have to talk to her. She’s the only one who can tell you if she really is depressed and how to help her if it’s true.’ ‘Talk to her?’ Mrs. Hudson almost laughed at the expression on Sherlock’s face. ‘Oh, come, Sherlock. It’s not that hard. You just say words. Goodness knows that it comes easily enough to you at all the wrong times. Is it that hard to do it right for once?’ Sherlock just looked at her, before picking up the (probably quite tepid by now) cup of tea and taking a sip. Martha knew she wasn’t going to get anything else out of him for goodness knew how long, so she slipped out of the flat and back downstairs. Sherlock paced up and down the length of his flat, ignoring it when Mrs. Hudson came up to yell at him. He needed to think. He was fairly sure there was something wrong with Molly, and that was bad. An unhappy Molly meant that he was snapped at, denied specimens, and banned from looking at any corpses unless Lestrade was with him. And, if he was completely and totally honest with himself, he didn’t like it when Molly was upset. It bothered him, gave him an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach, somehow – and, if he was totally honest, it always sort of upset him, too. He could just stay at home and let Molly deal with it on her own, but that would mean an unspecified amount of time with no specimens, no corpses, and no small amount of discomfort, both physical and mental. But he didn’t want to approach her simply for the sake of approaching her. Then make something up, Sherlock, Mycroft’s voice sounded in his head. Ah. His eyes set open and, with a feeling of purpose, Sherlock Holmes set off for St. Bart's morgue. Molly was doing up some paperwork when he walked in. ‘Go away, Sherlock,’ she said without even looking up. Sherlock frowned, the excuse he’d carefully formulated flying out of his Mind Palace before he could catch it. ‘But-’ he began to protest. ‘No buts,’ Molly said. ‘I’m not in the mood to deal with you. Go. Away.’ Sherlock frowned harder. ‘But that’s why I’m here,’ he said. ‘I want to talk to you.’ Molly froze. ‘Talk to me?’ she said, sounding confused and tired. ‘Why?’ ‘Do I need a reason to talk to an old friend?’ Sherlock asked in what he hoped was an endearing tone. Molly rubbed her forehead. ‘What do you want, Sherlock?’ she grumbled. ‘I’m assuming it’s something big.’ Sherlock resisted the urge to scream. ‘Why are you being so ridiculous?’ he asked in his I’m-so-tired-of-this-nonsense voice. Her eyebrows shot up. ‘I’m being ridiculous? I’m not the one who spent years flattering a smitten pathologist just to get into the morgue! I didn’t pretend to be dead and break my friends’ hearts! I’m not a stuck-up, selfish, arrogant git who never mentioned to the smitten pathologist that one of the recent autopsies she’s performed was on a man that he had killed and that he was almost exiled! Who’s the ridiculous one here, Sherlock Holmes?’ Sherlock winced and closed his eyes. In hindsight, he probably should have let her know about the exile. Opening his eyes, he gave her what he hoped was a winning smile and opened his mouth to make an excuse, but she was too fast for him and kept talking. ‘I knew what you were doing, Sherlock. All this time… “Your hair suits you! You look well!”’ she deepened her voice, trying to mimic his baritone. Sherlock almost grinned at how pathetically she was failing, but somehow kept his peace and neither said nor did anything besides watching her start pacing the floor, waving her hands around for emphasis. ‘I knew what you were doing. But that part of me that wanted just a little approval, no matter where it came from, wouldn’t let me… and the only reason you said that you wanted to talk to me just now was to make me swoon and let you have whatever it is you want. And it probably would have worked. Oh, goodness, I’m so pitiful. But I thought… I thought that maybe, just maybe, we were becoming friends. I mean, I did risk my job for you. But no, of course it didn’t matter, because you’re Sherlock Holmes and you don’t care what people suffer if it makes life easier for you. There are only five people in the world who you told the truth to, about what happened that night at Magnussen’s. That’s your list of people you care about, Sherlock, and I’m not on it, so go away and leave me alone!’Her voice broke on the last word, and she turned away hastily. Sherlock felt a little startled. Oh. So that’s what had been wrong. Someone (most likely Mary, the traitoress) had told Molly about Sherlock’s almost-exile and she’d been offended and hurt that he hadn’t told her when it happened. And now she was mad at him. The discomfort in his stomach escalated to pain. ‘Molly,’ he said, ‘it was to protect you.’ Molly scoffed and rolled her eyes. ‘I’m serious!’ he insisted. ‘If you… didn’t know, I thought it would make it easier. You’d never know what happened. Mary was to tell you that I’d moved away if I never returned.’ He saw her face pale when he said “never returned,” and he wondered what he’d done wrong. ‘It wasn’t to hurt you. You don’t need that. You’ve done more than enough for me in the time I’ve known you… far too much. You deserve happiness. And if I had to leave… you see why I did it, don’t you?’ he could hear the pleading in his own voice and it irritated him. ‘Be reasonable, Molly.’ Molly’s shoulders sagged, and Sherlock suddenly felt guilty. Why do I feel guilty? This has never bothered… oh. OH. Suddenly it all fell into place. The frustration, the inability to focus, the pain… I love Molly. No. that couldn’t be right. He was Sherlock Holmes. He didn’t do feelings – and even if he did, he’d probably skip love. But… would he? Would he really? He should just walk out of Molly’s life and pretend that she’d never existed. But could he? And did he want to walk out of her life and pretend that she’d never existed? No. He loved her. She was Molly and he loved her. I love her. He looked at Molly again, and even though he could only see the back of her head, she looked breathtakingly beautiful. He closed the distance between them and whirled her around to face him. It only took a moment for her to start struggling. ‘Let me go! Sherlock!’ Sherlock studied her, this time taking in each detail like it was absolutely crucial for a case. ‘What are you doing? Let me go!’ She was beautiful. Her eyes and hair and skin and lips… he felt his heartbeat quicken and he leaned down without even thinking about it. ‘Sherlock! What are you doing? Let me – mmph!’ It was strange, Sherlock mused some time later. All the anger with which Molly had been snapping at him to let her go had been completely gone when he’d finally pulled his lips from hers. They’d both been breathing heavily, and her pupils had dilated till her eyes looked nearly black. Her pulse was throbbing wildly in her throat, and he knew that his was doing the same. Somehow, during their kiss her hands had slid into his hair and his had dropped to her waist and pulled her even closer to him. He’d expected her to slap him or scream at him or do something of the sort. She hadn’t. Her mouth had slowly curved into a smile and she’d leaned her head against his chest. ‘Oh, Sherlock Holmes,’ she’d whispered, ‘I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to say how very much I love you.’ He’d pressed his lips to the top of her head. ‘And I love you, Molly Hooper.’ Martha Hudson never found out what, exactly, had prompted the whirlwind engagement and marriage of Sherlock and Molly Holmes. All she knew was that, as time passed, she’d added Molly’s soft footsteps and sweet voice and the sounds of meals being made and raised voices followed by softer ones to her listening vocabulary. She smiled. The sounds of love were very good additions to the language of noises.
10481694	JohnCroft ficlet	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": null, "Fandom": "Sherlock (TV)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Explicit", "author": "by Readingfanfics", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-28T00:00:00", "words": "996", "Additional Tags": "vampirelock, Mycroft is a vampire, neck biting, Blood, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot", "Relationship": "Mycroft Holmes/John Watson", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "Vampirelock", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	“How did you get in here?! I thought you needed to have an invitation!”John heard the panic in his voice as he watched Mycroft sitting in his favorite chair. The man just raised an eyebrow, screaming 'don't be daft' at him from across the room. John felt his body tense as Mycroft got up slowly, walking towards him, his eyes bright and shining as he scanned John from head to toe.“Stop looking at me like that!”John took a step back, hating himself for doing it as he watched Mycroft's little smirk.“Like what John?”He hated the fake casual even more and wanted to hit the man, just to see something other than boredom and disdain in those eyes. It would be nice, surprising Mycroft Holmes but John also knew he'd never stand a chance. Mycroft was too fast, too observant and he was already looking at John with amusement.“Like I'm some kind of snack! Why are you here?”Mycroft stopped right in front of him and John could smell his expensive cologne. The scent always did something to him, making his knees go weak and his heartbeat to fast. He gritted his teeth as Mycroft licked his lips, clearly hearing the change in his heart rate, probably smelling it in the air.“Maybe I'm just hungry?”It was a whisper, full of desire and lust and John couldn't stop the trembling of his body, his nerves on fire by Mycroft's words, his tone, the way he watched him, as if ready to make his claim.“John.”Mycroft leaned forward, feeling the warmth of his body, the light touch of his elegant fingers against his arm and he moaned, swaying forward without thinking about it. He wanted him, wanted to give in and kiss Mycroft, feel his lips against his own, the warmth of his tongue, the firmness of his body.“John.”Mycroft grabbed hold of his arm, taking one step closer and John felt Mycroft's hardness against his own, heat and lust rising inside him, making him forget why it was a bad idea.“Mycroft, we can't-”Mycroft stopped him with a kiss, grabbing John tightly by the arms, pushing him backward on the sofa as he straddles his lap. He couldn't move, couldn't think as Mycroft kissed and licked him, pressing his body down against him, feeling the hardness of Mycroft's arousal against his groin.“John, don't fight it. I need you.”It sounded like a growl, Mycroft's lips going down his neck, licking and sucking every inch of skin, his hands pulling at John's shirt, growling again as Mycroft's hands found his hot flesh. John bucked up, grabbing Mycroft's arse and pushing him down, moaning with a need that was obscene and terrifying.“Mycroft, I. Oh fuck!”Mycroft's hand went to his trousers, palming his cock and he was lost, bucking up into the touch, hands firmly on Mycroft's arse, searching for more friction as Mycroft kissed him again, hunger overwhelming.“Gorgeous John, all mine.”He wanted to protest, to deny it but then Mycroft opened up his pants, taking his cock in hand and John saw stars, nails digging into Mycroft's flesh.“Yes! Just like that John, lose control for me.”He moaned as Mycroft started stroking him fast and hard, demanding all his attention, licking his neck, the other hand pulling his hair, having more access to suck marks into his skin.“Fuck!”John cursed as Mycroft increased the pace, never stopping, kissing John's mouth, devouring him as he worked John with precision.“Perfect John, glorious, you taste amazing! Just like that, almost there, don't stop!”John panted, legs wrapped around Mycroft's, his nails still digging into Mycroft's arse, bucking into his tight fist. He felt dizzy and horny, close to the edge but it wasn't enough, he knew what Mycroft wanted, needed and he forced himself to open his eyes, locking their gazes as Mycroft wanked him off.“Do it! I know you want to, do it now. Please Mycroft, please!”It was embarrassing how needy he sounded, how close he was to begging but Mycroft let out the most sensual sound and John didn't care. He tipped his head back, neck fully exposed and Mycroft licked again, his tongue leaving goosebumps over John's body.“Oh please, please don't stop, oh god!”Mycroft looked at him one more time, his eyes grey and hungry before he leaned down, licking that same spot on John's neck before biting down, his teeth breaking the skin, tongue working fast to lick up the blood coming out of the wound.John came the minute Mycroft bit him, coming hard into Mycroft's fist and unto his stomach, screaming out Mycroft's name as the man licked and sucked his neck, rutting against him frantically.“Hmn, Mycroft, oh baby, come for me, I want to feel you come against my leg. Please.”He felt Mycroft's body tense, his eyes not leaving Mycroft's face as he came, he saw the drops of blood near Mcyrofts mouth, the dark grey of his eyes, the sharp edges of his fangs as he called out John's name, riding out his orgasm.“Come here!”John grabbed Mycroft's head, smashing their lips together, both of them moaning as John's tongue traced around the edges of Mycroft's teeth, picking up the coppery taste of his own blood. Mycroft growled as John deepened the kiss, hands going into his hair, keeping him in place till he needed air, panting heavily while Mycroft got off him, a satisfied look in his eyes.“Don't look so smug, Mycroft.”“I'm not looking smug.”“Yes, you are.”Mycroft looked even more smug as he watched John, his eyes going up and down hungrily.“I need a new suit.”“I'd rather see you without it.”“Would you now?”Mycroft smiled, coming closer to John and leaning over him, licking his lips before whispering.“Then it's your lucky day John. Want to help me get this off?”
10493172	Arma sem pensamentos	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "Gen", "Characters": null, "Fandom": "Dragon Age: Inquisition", "Language": "Português brasileiro", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by Melime GreenLeaf (Melime)", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-29T00:00:00", "words": "190", "Additional Tags": "The Fade, Fade Demons, Tumblr Prompt", "Relationship": null, "Character": "Iron Bull", "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Iron Bull estava com a respiração pesada, sentindo o pânico começar a tomar conta, mas no campo de batalha, pânico significava morte, então não podia permitir que o controlasse. Estavam presos no Véu, demônios por todos os lados, poucas esperanças de escaparem com suas vidas. Era seu pior pesadelo se tornando real de uma forma que não deveria ser possível, e não podia se manter calmo, então só havia um modo de afastar o pânico.Ele permitiu que a febre do sangue o tomasse, limpando a mente de todas as distrações. Haviam demônios demais para serem derrotados, mas não importava. Ele se deixou levar pela violência, brandindo sua espada selvagemente, não se importando com sua própria segurança. Tudo o que importava era destruir o maior número deles que fosse possível, e tentar dar à chefe uma chance de encontrar um jeito de sair dali.Ele não pensou em escapar, não pensou nas chances de sobreviver, era mais fácil assim. Sua mente, normalmente tão rápida para criar estratégias e tão brilhante com planos de batalha, o falhava agora. Dessa vez, ele realmente era a arma sem pensamentos que sempre alegou ser.
10427277	Somewhere In Between	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Cullen Rutherford, Dorian Pavus", "Fandom": null, "Language": "English", "Rating": "Explicit", "author": "by WhimsicalGypsy", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-24T00:00:00", "words": "1,582", "Additional Tags": "cullrian - Freeform, Fluff, Smut, Fluff and Smut, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Voyeurism, Porn with Feelings, Mutual Masturbation, Desk Sex", "Relationship": "Dorian Pavus/Cullen Rutherford", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "All things Cullrian", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types", "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	A quiet reprieve. Stillness before a storm. As if Skyhold, and the surrounding mountains, had its breath held in trepidation for what was to come. It was eerie, the Inquisition had suffered loss beyond measure but they were winning, Corypheus was the weakest he would ever be and Cullen knew the Inquisitor would make his final move soon. Bent over his desk, pouring over papers seemed to have become his permanent state of being, someone quietly entering his quarters drew him from his thoughts, he glanced up and watched as Dorian fussed, tidying his already tidy (or so Cullen thought) desk. Dorian. Cullen sat back in his chair, letting his body relax as he contemplated the Mage. Dorian had entered his life as a slightly stuck up Altus mage from Tevinter, offering his services to the Inquisition as so many others had. Cullen initially disliked him on principal, he wasn’t to be trusted, but as time wore on Dorian imposed himself into Cullens life. At first it was an annoyance, a ploy he had suspected. But Dorian spoke to those around him with quiet, genuine interest and he treated Cullen no different. He asked about his time in Kirkwall, his family, what he enjoyed doing in his spare time, out of courtesy Cullen would ask in return, he soon found himself drinking in every detail of the Mages life. Dorian had changed everything Cullen thought he understood about Mages, about Tevinter, about himself. It took a long time to wrap his head around it all, but now, in the fading light of the day, neither having spoken a word to eachother as yet, comfortable in one another’s presence. Dorian had charmed his way into Cullens heart and was as much a part of him as any limb. “You seem pensive tonight my love” Dorian frowned, having come closer to Cullen and perched himself on his desk, right in front of him.“Just thinking” Cullen smiles warmly, scooting forward in his seat to run his hands along the outside of Dorians thighs.“About me, I hope?” Dorian grinned, his eyes twinkled, but there was concern there to. Both knew what was to come, the final battle, neither wished to dwell on what might happen, who might be lost. They hadn’t spoke about it, as if speaking about it might make it more real.“Always” Cullen gazed up at the face he’d fallen so helplessly for. He’d never imagined himself happy this way, with a partner, perhaps a family? He barely let himself imagine an ending to this whole nightmare, but with the end so close, his possible future glimmered before him like a mirage. He could imagine it all with Dorian. Dorian drew his hands to hold Cullens face, thumbs resting on the warriors cheeks. He bent to press a gentle kiss to his scarred lips. They started off soft and slow, sensual. Revelling in the taste of each other, the feel of it. It transformed, need creeped it’s way in, the need for affirmation. Both men had lost much on this journey, they couldn’t lose each other. Not now. Not when their happy ending was so close. Dorian lowered himself and settled on Cullens lap, straddling him. His arms folded behind the Commanders head, his kisses hot and needy, pressing his body to Cullens as close as this position allows. Cullen moaned into the kiss, his hands groping at Dorians clothed arse, there wasn’t much Cullen could do here, only what Dorian would allow with the room given. Dorian leaned back just a fraction to remove his shirt, he began fumbling with Cullens armour, lust making him clumsy. With practiced hands and some wiggling Cullen freed himself of the bulk of it, dumped unceremoniously on the ground, both men sat shirtless, breathless and yearning. Dorian sat himself upright on his lovers lap, took some deep, clearing breaths, trying to unfog his brain just a little. He ran his hands over Cullens toned, scarred body. Cullens breathy moans filled the air as he reclined in his seat, letting Dorians hands wander. Dorian traced the lines of his scars with the pads of his fingers, raising gooseflesh, he glanced at Cullens face to see him eyes closed, mouth open slightly, revelling in sensation. Dorian smiled, he watched the warriors face as he glided his fingers across the smooth planes of Cullens chest, circling his nipple, he pinched gently, worrying it between his thumb and forefinger. Cullen arched into the contact, brow furrowed and moaning his hips jerked causing delicious friction for both of them. Dorian grinned and slid both hands over Cullens taught stomach, he slowly unlaced his breeches freeing the Commanders beautiful cock, tracing the line of his impressive rigid length with his thumb. Cullen whined at the sensation, cock twitching pre-come pearling at the tip Dorian swiped his thumb over it and, eyes closed, bought it to his lips to taste.He met Cullens heated, heavy gaze as he lowered his hand, he sank to the ground on his knees, tugged Cullens boots off, and slid the mans breeches off entirely. Cullen gazed down at him, he raised a hand and ran his thumb over Dorians kiss swollen lips. Dorian parted his lips and ran his tongue over the Commanders thumb, eyes never leaving Cullens. Cullen, slack jawed and lids heavy with lust slid his thumb into Dorians mouth, Dorian sucked it gently, tongue swiping the pad. Cullen groaned and gripped his aching cock with his other hand, he slowly rubbed himself in time with Dorians sucks, pre-come easing the way. Dorian watched with dark eyes as Cullen pleasured himself. His own cock begging for attention, lay hard and aching inside his breeches, he unlaced them and took himself in hand, jerking himself in time with Cullens long pulls. “Maker look at you, on your knees at my feet playing with your pretty cock” Cullen picked up his pace, Dorian moaned and stood and turned away, wriggling out of his breeches Cullen sat forward holding onto Dorians hips, he guided the mage into his lap, facing away from him, Dorian folded his knees, so he was straddled as he was before, except facing away from Cullen. Dorian ground his hips so Cullens cock glided between Dorians cheeks, teasing his hole. Dorian tilted forward, bracing one arm to Cullens desk while he obscenely sucked his own fingers, and reached to slick himself, to open himself up for his lover.Cullen watched as Dorian penetrated himself, his skin glistening with a light sheen of sweat, it took all of Cullens willpower not to thrust up and fuck him into his desk. He clenched his fists, determined to savour the show. Dorian plunged his fingers into his tight wet body over and over until he was moaning with abandon. “Dori please, Maker you’re driving me mad just look at you.. please” Cullen thrust upward, making his intentions very clear.“Ah-ah my dear Commander I am not ready” Dorian breathed, arching his back, everything for Cullen to see. Cullen heartily disagreed with his statement, he had 4 fingers buried inside himself, roughly seeking his prostate. Cullen could see the slickness of his fingers, heat building under his skin he needed to be inside the mage, and he would not last long.“Dorian please, please. I need to be inside you, need to feel you” Cullen gripped Dorians slender hips, Dorian raised himself and grazed his open, wet entrance along Cullens tip, eyes rolling, Cullen thrust upward, seeking to bury himself in hot velvet, Dorian followed the movement, teasing him. “Dorian I can’t.. I need to please I’m so hard, need you so much need to feel you” Cullen gave a frustrated sigh, stilling his hips, allowing Dorian this sweet, sweet torture. “There’s a good Commander, let me have my way with you” Dorians sultry tones filled Cullens ears. Dorian teased him, allowing just the tip of his aching cock to breach him before retracting. Cullen moaned as Dorian took more of him inside himself. Still un-moving, hands clenched on the mans waist he lifted and lowered him just slightly. “So good Dorian feels so good” Dorian moaned in agreement, taking Cullen to the hilt. Cullen lifted him and Dorian impaled himself once again on the warriors cock. Soon enough Dorian had both hands braced to the desk as Cullen controlled him, thrust up into him, owned him completely. Dorian was riding a crest of pleasure when Cullen reached around and squeezed the base of his cock. Whining, Dorian clenched around Cullen hoping to force him to lose composure. Cullen moaned and lightly bit Dorians ear, ramming into the mages sweet spot with every thrust. “I’m going to come Dorian, you’re going to make me come” His thrusts losing rhythm, his teeth bared he snarled into Dorians ear, his hand still firmly preventing Dorians release.“Please Cullen please, ah-ah! I need.. I need-” Dorian choked on his words as Cullen released his cock. Cullen hit Dorians prostate once, twice and again before he was seeing stars, his body tensed he moaned his release. Muscles clenching Cullen gave a few more aborted thrusts before burying his seed deep inside the mage. Dorian would be sore in the morning that was certain. However in that moment all he could think was about how whole he felt, heart and body filled with Cullen. His seed buried inside of him. They were here, they were alive. They would get through this.
10447566	stacking up reach for	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime, thats pretty much it - Character, makki and mattsun come in but like briefly, Ushijima Wakatoshi", "Fandom": "Haikyuu!!", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by orphan_account", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-26T00:00:00", "words": "9,660", "Additional Tags": "Character Study, Anxiety, Songfic, Song Lyrics, brief mention/reference to anxiety attacks", "Relationship": "Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	I don’t like my mind right now Stacking up problems that are so unnecessary Wish that I could slow things down I wanna let go but there’s comfort in the panic Oikawa had always, always, set his goals high. When he was in pre-school at his daycare, he would spend the entire school day, obsessing over the smallest details of his blotchy finger-painting until it was just right, so that he could show it off with a dazzling grin to his teacher before his mother came to pick him up. When he was in primary school, he’d spent his lunch break screwing up his face in concentration, trying to get his stroke of kanji just right, so that his teacher could praise him after their exam and he could grin and blush and say thank you, sensei! His mother reminisced of the period of Oikawa’s life where he was learning to ride a bike, how he stayed out until dusk, and came home with scratched up knees, grinning and crying,” Okaa-san, I did it! I can ride without training wheels!” When he discovered volleyball, naturally, everyone was prepared for him to try and be the best. There was no one who expected less from him, and no one who had less than the utmost faith that he could accomplish that. Of course, he hadn’t discovered volleyball all by himself. He wouldn’t have even known what it was, if it weren’t for the boy his age, the new kid in his class, who had moved in, three houses down the street, who came up to him one day, asking for someone to toss to him. Oikawa hadn’t even liked volleyball, at first. The ball kept moving wrong, and it kept falling onto his face and hurting his delicate nose, or he would hit it and it would sting the palm of his hands, mottling the pale skin pink and red and causing small callouses to form and burn every time his hands rubbed against the fabric. Plus, Iwaizumi would laugh at him every time he messed up, and that would get frustration to well up inside of his, and that made him want to scream. Still, he didn’t tell Iwa-chan that he wanted to quit, because, well, he knew that he could do better. If Iwa-chan could be so good, could spike the decent tosses with such power and accuracy, even for a seven year old, then he could climb up to his level. He didn’t have the same intensity that he developed in his later years, but he refused to back down when Iwa-chan asked him if he’d had enough, and demanded for Iwa-chan to throw him the ball. They had no volleyball club in their primary school, so their mothers enrolled them in a private class where they had a coach, and other children to practice with. There, Oikawa and Iwaizumi practically shone, and they were quickly growing in synch with each other. Iwaizumi was the best spiker in the group, and when an envious teammate commented on how lucky Oikawa was to practice with him, he boasted, proudly, that yes, he was. Oikawa’s skills as a setter began to blossom, in that class, even when he wasn’t practicing with Iwa-chan, and the coach took his mother aside one day, after practice was over, and told her that her son had all the potential in the world. It was because of that, that the two of them applied to Kitagawa Daiichi- an inexpensive school, a powerhouse school that was sure to pull out their best game. It was the best school for volleyball, meant only for the best players- and Oikawa aspired to be the best. He became the best. He did what the best setters did- he brought out the strengths of his spikers, adjusted his tosses to them and calculated the opponent with a sharp mind and a flexibility that proved fatal to his adversaries. And of course, Iwaizumi had been there, solid and steady by his side, always there and ready to bring out his top game. Oikawa was like a comet, glowing and hurtling his way to greatness. His own confidence, in himself and his team, was unshakeable, and his opponents, even the older students in various high schools, marveled at his tosses. All that came thundering down when they played against Shiratorizawa. The match had been fierce; it took all of Oikawa’s physical and mental capability to perform well, and he knew that the same applied for Iwa-chan. They lost, nevertheless (Obviously, his mind supplied, before he clenched his eyes and told his mind to shut up). The loss was upsetting, but Oikawa concluded that he had next year, he had time, the schools could meet again in a rematch and they would win. He would win. He couldn’t bear to lose, so he practiced, stayed after practice to practice some more, trained more intensely than anyone else on his team- and they practiced intensely. If someone else had been looking at the scene, they would be able to see that Oikawa was practicing far too intensely for a kid his age, and even his mother, who was used to his forceful obsession with perfection, tried to slide him hints that he should rest, take it easier. It came to the point when Iwa-chan, so watchful and observant and caring, in the harshest way, would have to drag him out of the gym by the very collar of his jacket, just to get him to go home and eat. He told himself that it would be worth it, when he defeated Shiratorizawa, when he defeated that stoic ace Ushijima who couldn’t even muster up enough emotion to care about defeating Kitagawa Daiichi- that was how irrelevant Oikawa was to them. Except, they didn’t win. And they had the nerve to look Oikawa in the eye and say,” Good game.” He had become so angry, angry at Ushijima, angry at himself, angry at the world, to the point where he had almost screamed at Iwa-chan. Almost. He would have never forgiven himself if he actually had; Iwa-chan was upset enough, without Oikawa’s unnecessarily furious words. “Why…why can’t I seem to defeat them? Why aren’t I strong enough?” he cried, frustration and hopelessness lacing his words. He clutched the volleyball tighter, so hard that he was afraid that he might pop it, and tried not to curl in on himself. Iwa-chan just gave him a sideways look, that look, where he seemed to be making reassurances without saying very much. “We’ll defeat them next time. We can take Ushijuma down.” Oikawa believed in a lot, but he believed in Iwa-chan most of all, so he stayed determined. And I drive myself crazy Thinking everything’s about me Yea I drive myself crazy Cause I can’t escape the gravity The beginning of Oikawa’s third year at Kitagawa Daiichi brought in new first-years, bright eyed and eager to be a part of the team that had come so far. He was sure that some of them even thought that they could be the ones to lead the team to the nationals, which made Oikawa snort and made Iwaizumi glare at him. They were all rather clumsy, and Oikawa could tell that it would be months, at least, before they could be a cohesive part of the team. Certainly they couldn’t be molded into shape as quickly and effortlessly as he and Iwa-chan had. It didn’t mean that they didn’t have talent, though. One spiky haired first-year, called Kindaichi, was a strong spiker, even if he was a bit more hesitant than Oikawa was used to. (More hesitant than Iwa-chan, his mind judged, and he had to remind himself that not everyone could be as talented as his spiker.) Another quiet first year, by the name of Kunimi, was smart and skilled, but needed a little push, a little motivation, to reach his true potential. Oikawa was confident that he could help them reach that potential. And then there was Kageyama Tobio. Tobio was the only one who Oikawa couldn’t bring out the best in, because Tobio was a setter. And a talented one, at that. It was a bit of a stretch to say that he was a good setter. A good setter, Oikawa knew, his coach told him repeatedly, was the control tower for the entire offense of the team. A good setter could adjust his tosses to each specific need of his spikers, in a quick and calculating way, without taking stupid risks. Tobio had none of that ability. He had an immense amount of talent, though, and that itself rubbed Oikawa the wrong way, when he saw Tobio toss for the first time. Oikawa knew enough about talent and setting to know that if Tobio was able to master the ball, and toss to his spikers the way that the spikers needed him to, then he’d be unstoppable. He seemed a bit dim off court, if Oikawa was being completely honest, and didn’t quite get along with his teammates, but he could calculate and toss his spikes with an almost perfect accuracy. Every time Oikawa heard the coach compliment him, his blood would run cold. On the days when Tobio was tossing particularly well, and Oikawa would narrow his eyes particularly angrily, Iwa-chan would give him his side-eyed look and flick his temple particularly hard. Oikawa liked to think of it as Iwa-chan’s way of reminding him that he was there. He couldn’t tell this to Iwa-chan, however much he wanted to. He couldn’t admit how fearful he was that this kid would be the one to replace him, because Iwa-chan couldn’t know how embarrassingly scared he was of being taken over by his kouhai. It was ridiculous, and Oikawa knew it was ridiculous, but he couldn’t stop fear from encasing his heart with its sharp talons. So he practiced. He endlessly practiced his tosses, knowing that they were skillful, but wanting to perfect them to a T. But it wasn’t enough- Oikawa knew that it wouldn’t be enough. He had to develop a new weapon. And he knew what that weapon would have to be. It was the one thing in volleyball that you perform by yourself- your chance to score a point without the opponent even having a chance to receive it. His serve. He could already serve pretty well, but it was simple, lacked the power or precision that he would need if he wanted to truly master it as a weapon. So he stayed after the rest of the team went home, nearly every day, practicing endless, endless jump serves. He was determined not to let that Tobio surpass him. If Tobio surpassed him, he would go on to become the best setter in the prefecture, Oikawa was sure of that. If he became the best setter in the prefecture, everyone in Kitagawa Daiichi would want him to be the starting setter, would want to spike his tosses instead of Oikawa’s. (He didn’t know what he would do if Iwa-chan would rather toss someone else’s spikes.) It was tiring, of course it was, there were days where his knee would twinge painfully after a hard landing, and he would just have to grit his teeth and continue. Surpassing Tobio would be worth some of the temporary pain. He got good at his jump serves, too. There were even a few practice matches in which he was able to land consecutive service aces. It made pride bubble up inside his chest, and he pretended not to see Iwa-chan’s eyes narrow when the coach told him,” Good job, keep up the hard work.” Which was why, when Tobio, Oikawa’s biggest rival, after Ushijima, asked him to help him with his jump serves, he had to pause and stare at his kouhai for a moment. Help him? Give away his greatest weapon to someone like Tobio, a genius like him who was better than everyone so naturally? Over his dead body. He hadn’t realized, through the haze of red anger, that he had reached out to strike Oikawa, until Iwaizumi’s hand had stopped him, clutching his risk painfully. Iwa-chan’s eyes flashed, and he dismissed Tobio quickly, leaving Oikawa with just enough time to think: Shit. He had expected Iwa-chan to be furious- which was terrifying in itself, regardless of whether it was for Oikawa’s own good or not- but he didn’t expect him to ram Oikawa’s nose so hard that he would start bleeding. It hurt like hell, and he stumbled down onto the floor, eyes widened in shock and warm liquid trickling down his lips. This all paled, though, when Iwa-chan started yelling. “I’m tired of all this I, I- stuff! It’s annoying!” “The team with the better six are stronger, you dumbass!” Iwa-chan didn’t have the natural ability to fabricate emotions like Oikawa had developed, and he told everything straight to the point. He didn’t sound particularly inspiring- maybe the pain was causing some delirium and affecting his brain chemistry- but suddenly, Oikawa felt like a brilliant energy was seeping through his bones. He stood up and dusted himself off, while Iwa-chan glared at him with his dark eyes. Oikawa, even though he felt like he could fly, was not a complete fool, so he took a step back to placate Iwaizumi. “Why are you smiling? Did I hit you that hard?” Iwa-chan scoffed, which only slightly covered up the tone of concern that he had. Oikawa smirked, and glanced towards the court, taking a deep breath. He could hardly explain himself, but he knew that behind the yelling and harsh words, Iwa-chan meant only one thing: You are not alone. “I suddenly feel invincible,” Oikawa announced. Iwa-chan gave him a look, one that Oikawa knew meant “I have no idea why you are acting this way, but it isn’t a bad thing so I’m going to go with it”. (That look made Oikawa feel a bit better, since the threat of being hit again had reduced dramatically.) “Come on,” Iwa-chan grumbled,” Let’s clean up.” I’m holding on Why is everything so heavy? I’m holding on So much more than I can carry With his clearer head, Oikawa went on to win the prefecture’s award for Best Setter; an honour that he embraced with all his pride. Iwa-chan commented that he had smiled his rare smile, with no ulterior motive. Oikawa retorted,” My smile is always straight forward and pure!” with dramatized offense. (Iwa-chan was right, as always. He was always right about Oikawa.) He no longer fretted over Tobio; at least, it was a worry that was pushed to the back of his mind, for now. There were more important things that plagued him with worry, anyways. It was time that the third-years decided where they would go for high school. Oikawa wanted to attend the very best school that could boost his volleyball career. His parents, too, pushed him to apply to the best schools, even if they were a little more concerned about the education and location of his school. As expected by everyone, on top of his own wants and desires, he had received several offers from private schools in Miyagi. That was something that Oikawa had never considered, in terms of high school and volleyball. He played to be the best, not to please scouts from the fancy schools that could boost his volleyball to unimaginable heights. The one that stood out to him, though, apart from all the rest (and he had received quite a few) was from Shiratorizawa Academy. He had never, ever considered Shiratorizawa as an option; he knew that Ushijima, who played for their middle school team, would be playing in their high school volleyball team, for sure, and so Oikawa never really considered it, until now. Shiratorizawa was a good school. His parents wanted him to go there; all his tuition would be payed off, if he went there. He would receive the best education, and the chances of him being able to go to nationals was very, very high. If he could adjust himself to Ushiima (and he knew that he could), he would become unstoppable. But there was something stopping him. Something other than his rivalry with Ushijima, which he knew that he could put aside in order to go to a school with a volleyball team ranked in the top eight of the country. He couldn’t put his finger on it. It felt like some form of twisted fate when he bumped into his fated rival, not even a week after receiving the offer. They quite literally bumped into each other- Oikawa barely stopped himself from falling painfully onto the concrete outside the small store. “Oikawa,” Ushijima grunted with his usual monotonous voice. It irked at Oikawa on the best of days, and it irked at him that day. “Ushiwaka,” Oikawa tossed back in a cold tone, so unlike his usual upbeat (if a little artificial) banter. “I heard that you received an offer to play for Shiratorizawa,” Ushijima said. Straight to the point, as always. Oikawa fully knew that he wasn’t even trying to seem rude- that was just how Ushijima was. “So?” Oikawa snapped. He let out a small, mirthless laugh. “Come to scare me of, eh? Worried that I’ll ruin it for you if I go?” “On the contrary, I was going to persuade you to come there.” Ushijima raised an eyebrow, which felt like a challenge to Oikawa. “Shiratorizawa is the best in the prefecture.” “I know that,” Oikawa snipped at him. “I’m perfectly aware of your abilities.” “They you’ll know that we are the best team,” Ushijima stated. “We can help you grow as a setter. You are the best setter in the prefecture. You’d help us immensely.” “What if I don’t want to go there?” Oikawa hissed. “What if I want to beat you?” Ushijima’s stare was unnerving. “You won’t. Your team was weak, last time you played against me. That’s why you always lose.” “Excuse me?” Oikawa snarled, but Ushijima steam-rollered ahead. “You need the best team to play to your full abilities. Kitagawa Daiichi could not do that for you. Your attachments to your friends- like that Iwaizumi-kun- will be your downfall.” “Do not,” Oikawa raised his voice hotly,” Say a word against Iwa-chan. You will never understand my loyalty to my team. They are strong.” Oikawa pointed at Ushijima furiously. “I will beat you, Ushijima. With my own team. Mark my words.” “Your pride is worthless,” Ushijima said. “Let it be,” Oikawa spat, and he pushed past Ushijima with so much force that the latter actually stumbled. He felt like those cartoon characters, with steam coming out of his ears- that’s how angry he was. How dare Ushijima come up to him and begin insulting him? His team? Was that how Ushijima convinced someone to join him? He gripped the plastic bag in his hand tighter and stormed off, feeling his ears burn with a hot rage. He hated Ushijima. Hated him. Oikawa tried to be a nice person, he genuinely did, but the nerve of Ushijima was incredible. In his haze of anger, he found himself (like he always did, when his insides were burning up) on Iwa-chan’s porch, hand poised to knock. They hadn’t truly discussed where they would be going after middle school; Oikawa suspected that they had both been skirting around the topic, not wanting to hear that they would be going separate ways. Plus, Oikawa thought, it had only been a few days since they had been notified of their acceptances. Iwa-chan’s mother opened up the door and smiled a familiar smile, sending him to Iwa-chan’s room. He only tapped on the door as a warning before bursting in, not bothering to wait for a response. Iwa-chan was laying on his bed with a textbook spread open in front of him, obviously studying. He flashed Oikawa a glance as Oikawa strutted into the room and threw himself down onto Iwa-chan’s bed. “Why’re you here?” Iwa-chan asked, fixing him with a piercing look. His hand was poised above the page of the textbook- science, from what Oikawa could see- and he was gazing at Oikawa expectantly. “Why, Iwa-chan, can’t a guy just visit his best friend with no ulterior motive?” Oikawa replied with false cheer and a smile far to stretched and shiny to be real. He knew that he was being intentionally fake and obnoxious; right now, he wasn’t trying to hide any emotions, but he was attempting to gather the courage to ask some important questions and he was pushing for time. “When have you ever done anything without an ulterior motive?” Iwa-chan retorted, raising an eyebrow at him. “I don’t have all day, you know. What is it?” “Don’t study too hard, Iwa-chan, you’ll hurt yourself,” Oikawa said lightly, in a sing-song voice. “Shittykawa-“ “Where are you going for high school?” Oikawa interrupted, looking away and feelings his hands twist involuntarily, not unlike the feeling twisting through his insides. He heard Iwa-chan shift a bit to his side, and clenched his jaw. “I’m not sure, yet,” Iwa-chan responded, carefully, like he was weighing every word. “Why does it matter? I’m sure that you’ve gotten a bunch of invitations from high schools for volleyball.” Oikawa gave him a shrug, glancing down at his feet. He wasn’t going to tell Iwa-chan that he had the chance to go to Shiratorizawa, not yet- no matter how much he knew that Iwa-chan wanted to beat them, he would want Oikawa to go to the place that would push him as high as possible. “Just tell me where you might go,” Oikawa pleaded, pouting at Iwa-chan. “I’m curious! It’s hard decision, you know.” “Well,” Iwa-chan started, in that same slow tone, that was starting to worry Oikawa, just a little bit. “There were a few…I didn’t really find any of them special. Um.” He fidgeted with his fingers. “I was thinking- maybe Aoba Johsai?” Oikawa could recall that name. It was sitting in the stack of acceptance letters on his desk, underneath the bold, pink characters that spelt “Shiratorizawa”. They were a known powerhouse school- they almost always made it to the top four in the prefecture. Iwa-chan would be a good fit there. “I got in there, too!” Oikawa chimed. “They’re a good school, aren’t they?” “Yeah, they are,” Iwa-chan replied, but he was frowning perplexedly, which made Oikawa’s gut twist with worry and confusion. “Um…I wanted to ask you, though…” He scratched the back of his neck in a sort of awkwardness that was so rarely seen on Iwa-chan, which was kind of endearing but also just heightened Oikawa’s nervousness. “Did you get into Shiratorizawa?” Oh. Oikawa didn’t know what he was supposed to say. If he said “yes”, he knew that Iwa-chan would push him to go. He wasn’t going, he knew that much from his earlier conversation with Ushijima. Really, now that he knew that Iwa-chan was likely going to Seijoh, there was only one choice for him. “Nah,” he lied easily, only making him feel a slight tug of guilt,” I bet Ushijima wouldn’t have allowed it.” Iwa-chan sighed, which was unexpected. Oikawa didn’t know whether it was disappointment or relief (he didn’t know which he preferred). “You should have. They would take you to nationals.” “Oh, well,” Oikawa said cheerfully. “No sense dwelling in that. Looks like I’ll be going to Aoba Johsai with you, then, Iwa-chan!” Clearly he was acting too happy for Iwa-chan not to quirk his eyebrow in suspicion, but Iwa-chan didn’t press him. He was glad for that, because Iwa-chan would never understand why Oikawa was following him to Seijoh. (Iwa-chan was selfless that way). I keep dragging around what’s bringing me down If I just let go, I’d be set free Holding on Why is everything so heavy? They didn’t beat Shiratorizawa in their first year. They didn’t beat Shiratorizawa in their second year, either. Yet, Oikawa was blooming. If he had thought that he did well with his team in Kitagawa Daiichi, he was (almost) unstoppable at Seijoh. He was their star setter, with his clever tosses that catered perfectly to his spikers, timely dumps and spikes, and of course, his virtually undefeatable jump serves. He and Iwa-chan met two others on the team that were in their grade- Hanamaki Takahiro and Matsukawa Issei. The four of them quickly became a tight knit group of friends, and Oikawa could comfortably say that he had never been better. And then his third year of high school was approaching him- it was upon him so fast, he could barely breath- and he had one chance to go to nationals, one chance, and Tobio-chan was now at Karasuno (Karasuno, the school of the flightless crows) and Oikawa could feel the pressure and anxiety creep up on him like a stealthy nightmare. If he thought middle school was bad, having to compete with Tobio, it was nothing compared to what he felt now. When he not only had his last chance to face Ushijima and go to nationals, he had to worry about Tobio, too. Of course, his kouhai still had a lot of issues that needed to be worked on (if the rumors were true), and Karasuno hadn’t been a strong school in ages, but…still. He fell back into his old habits, so to speak. Training past his breaking point, closing that part of his emotions off so that they swirled into a thick, ugly void for only him to see. He brushed off the others’ concern, telling them that he was fine, except he really couldn’t fool himself into thinking that he was. Beating Tobio and Ushijima would be worth it, though. He wasn’t going to push himself until he was so injured that he couldn’t play anymore- even he wasn’t that reckless. He’d push himself enough to beat them. When he practiced his serves after practice ended, he started feeling his knee twinge with that same pain that took him back to his middle school years. He had to ignore it. The worst part, by far, was that he couldn’t talk about it to anyone, not even Iwa-chan, because he knew what they would say. Don’t overwork yourself, take care of yourself, don’t worry yourself. He wasn’t overworking himself. He did try to take care of himself- he would ask his mother for the soothing cream, pretending that his shoulder was aching, and use it to dull the throbbing in his knee- and as for the worrying, well, there was nothing that he could do about that. It was consuming him. He was learning to separate his messy emotions from his rational thought, and that was the only thing stopping him from going over the edge. (He was toeing the line.) And then they were at afternoon practice, playing a three on three game, and he was jumping up to serve- he felt like he was flying, even if his jump was a bit shaky- and then in that same instant, he was coming down, about to land… He landed on the side of his right foot, which wouldn’t have been a problem, except his knee rolled, just slightly, and then suddenly pure pain was shooting up and down his leg, and he let out an involuntary cry. “Oikawa-senpai!” came a call from Kindaichi, who was closest to him, as Oikawa crumpled to the floor in a haze. He could hear footsteps, and then Kindaichi was kneeling next to him as he lay on the floor, as his knee screamed- “Oikawa!” Iwa-chan’s voice rang out near him, and then he felt Iwa-chan put an arm under his arms to support him. Oikawa could only gasp. “Iwa-chan…fuck, it hurts,” he groaned, turning to push his sweaty head into Iwa-chan’s shoulders, seeking comfort. He could hear flurries of movement all around him, the coach calling an ambulance and his teammates’ voices heavy with concern. He could only cling to Iwa-chan and clench his teeth, feeling his eyes well up and telling himself that he would not cry. Because this was his fault, his irresponsibility had caused his, so he would not make everyone- not make Iwa-chan- more upset by crying. He didn’t know how many minutes had passed before two strangers came and separated him from Iwa-chan, and escorted him into the cold ambulance. Oikawa laid on the cot and clenched his fists and jaw, and glared up at the sterile, white room. Everything felt blurred at the hospital- the only thing he could concentrate on was his pain and his scrambled thoughts of how screwed he was, how his mom and Iwa-chan would kill him. He remembered being taken to a room, being asked extensive questions, and X-rays, multiple cold instruments prodding him. Halfway through, his mom burst into the room, and the doctor let her sit to the side, teary-eyed, as long as she didn’t disturb them. He was given pain medications, and they spread something on his knee, and then they gave him their final verdict. The doctor went on about some medical terms- ligaments and tendons and other things that Oikawa didn’t fully comprehend- until Oikawa blurted out,” Can I still play volleyball?” The doctor peered at him through wired glasses. It was a long, excruciating pause before he answered. “Yes. However,” the doctor continued,” You need to rest your knee for at least three to five days, first. And it is essential that you be careful from now on, otherwise, the damage could become permanent.” “Also,” the doctor added,” You will need to wear a knee brace. We can prescribe you one that is affordable, but you must wear it at all times. If not, again, the damage could become permanent.” Oikawa felt dizzy with relief. He could play. His recovery time, even if it would be short, would be restless and annoying, but he could still play. The knee brace took away any plans he had to hide the severity of his injury, but as long as he could stay on his court, it would be fine. The doctor exchanged a few words with his mother that Oikawa didn’t bother to pay attention to, and then he left, presumably to get the knee brace that he had been talking about, leaving the two of them behind. There were a few moments of silence before Oikawa’s mother spoke up. “Tooru…” she started shakily, but Oikawa cut her off, shaking his head. “I’m sorry,” he apologized, clenching the white sheets of the hospital bed between his fingers and looking down. “I’m sorry, Mom.” “It’s not your fault-” “It is,” Oikawa interjected, glancing at her with somber eyes. “I knew that there was something wrong…I- I knew that I was pushing myself- but I kept on going. I didn’t tell anyone.” “Not even Hajime-kun?” she asked, with wide, trembling eyes. Her hands were pale and her fingers were intertwined on her lap, showing just how shaken she was, and that made Oikawa’s stomach clench with guilt. “Why- Tooru.” “Not even Iwa-chan,” Oikawa repeated softly. He could feel worry swimming inside of him- what would Iwa-chan think of him now? He fucked himself up, and now he couldn’t play for five days. Even though he knew, logically, that it wouldn’t throw the team off too much, he couldn’t stop the growing unease; he had become so used to the constant practicing… “We’re going to talk about this more, Tooru,” his mother said, gazing at him sadly. “This shouldn’t have happened. I should have paid more attention to you.” When Oikawa opened his mouth to protest, she spoke over him. “I know that you don’t want me to blame myself. But we need to talk, later. Do you…do you want to see Hajime-kun?” “He’s here?” Oikawa asked, startled. Really, he didn’t know why he was so surprised, because of course Iwa-chan would take the time out of his day to visit Oikawa. Still, he hadn’t been prepared to face him so soon. Oikawa’s mother nodded. “He arrived ages ago…he was so worried, Tooru. He still doesn’t know if you’ll be okay…I think you should talk to him.” Oikawa felt his mouth dry, and couldn’t find it in himself to speak, so he just nodded. His mother stood up from the small chair and gave him a nervous smile, and then walked across the room to fetch Iwa-chan. It was a few minutes before she came back, with Iwa-chan in tow. Oikawa’s mother paused at the door, letting Iwa-chan walk in, and then she backed out quietly. Oikawa threw her a wide-eyed look. He had been expecting her to stay- why would she be leaving? Did she feel the need to give Iwa-chan and him some privacy? He glanced at Iwa-chan, whose face right now was tight and rigid, and realized that maybe their conversation was going to be too private for his mother. “Iwa-chan,” Oikawa greeted in a fairly steady voice. He shrunk back into the pillow a bit, under the force of Iwa-chan’s gaze. “Oikawa,” Iwa-chan started, after pulling up a chair by the bed. Like this, Oikawa felt like a patient with some terminal disease, and Iwa-chan was his grieving family. It was a scenario that brought a bitter taste to his mouth. “Are you… fuck, are you okay?” Iwa-chan asked, rubbing over his face and slumping into the chair. He didn’t meet look Oikawa in the face. “Yea,” Oikawa replied, in a small voice that he absolutely hated. (It was okay, though, because this was Iwa-chan, and Iwa-chan was allowed to hear that voice). “They’re going to make me wear a brace.” There was no point in beating around the bush, after all. Not at this point. There was a pause, and then Iwa-chan put his hand down and his eyes, green and gray and full of pure worry for Oikawa, trapped Oikawa down, that one gaze that ensured that Oikawa wouldn’t lie to him or bullshit him. “Will…will you be okay?” Oikawa could decipher the hidden meaning of the message. How are you feeling right now? How much did this affect you? Will you still be able to play? Will you keep doing what you love? Oikawa gulped, and for the first time, a smile played on his lips. “I can still play volleyball,” he answered, and he could see Iwa-chan visibly relax. Not because Oikawa playing volleyball was his primary concern, but because he knew that Oikawa playing volleyball was Oikawa’s primary concern. “And,” Iwa-chan continued, licking his lips, and that’s when Oikawa’s heart dropped and he could feel the mood shift. “I don’t- how did this happen, Oikawa? I thought- or I didn’t think- that you were better, after middle school-“ “I was, I swear I was, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa answered hastily, pushing himself up to face Iwa-chan. “Then what happened?” Iwa-chan asked faintly. “I know you were stressed, but why- why’d you push yourself so much?” Oikawa fiddled with the bedsheet, and shrugged. “I don’t want to be surpassed by Tobio-chan,” he murmured finally,” I don’t know how good he is, but I know that he’s good. And then, it’s our last year to defeat Ushijima…” Iwa-chan sighed, sinking back, once more, into his chair. His eyes were closed and his mouth was pressed into a thin line. Oikawa felt his heart twist with guilt, because he was the reason that Iwa-chan was looking like that. “Iwa-chan…” Oikawa asked, with uncertainty in his voice. “Are you mad at me?” Iwa-chan moved so fast that Oikawa could hardly register it with his eyes. “No! Of course not, I-” Iwa-chan sighed. “I should have known. I should have stopped you, before this happened.” Oikawa gaped at him. “That’s ridiculous. I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want you to know, I knew you would worry.” “And I have a good reason to be worried,” Iwa-chan snapped,” I wasn’t worried enough, and now look what’s happened!” Iwa-chan turned his head abruptly, and took in a long, shaky breath. Oikawa’s heart stuttered sickeningly. He reached out as far as he could- in an act of recklessness- and found Iwa-chan’s hand, pulling it towards him and running his thumb along the calloused fingertips. “It’s not your fault,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.” Iwa-chan was shaking his head, rapidly, and he said, in a low, fierce hiss,” Never scare me like that again.” “I won’t,” Oikawa assured, giving his hand a squeeze, and then dropping it as warmth bloomed on his own face. Don’t make it weird, he told himself. “I promise, Iwa-chan.” You say that I’m paranoid But I’m pretty sure the world is out to get me It’s not like I made the choice To let my mind stay so fucking messy His coach and teammates took the injury better than he had ever expected them to. Rest, take care of yourself, they told him, but they also reminded him that he would still be their captain, still be their star setter, when he came back from his recovery time. The entire time, he was confined to his house; he knew that it was because his mother didn’t fully trust him to not do something stupid, and she wanted to keep him under her watchful eye. He wished that he could have basked in her doting nature. After all, she brought him everything he needed- probably in an effort to keep him happy. She’d bought so much milk bread that it would last him at least a week before starting to spoil. He was scared. He was restless. Maybe blowing out his knee helped bring him to his senses, but it didn’t stop the anxiety crawling up his throat. Tobio-chan and Ushijima were still out there and he was sitting at home with his knee wrapped up, not practicing, not helping his team, not staying in shape- Then Iwa-chan would be knocking at his door, fresh back from practice, sweat sheening over his body and hair damp with moisture (not that Oikawa noticed, or anything), and he would remind Oikawa that there was time, that there was hope. The day that they came back from the hospital, Oikawa fiddled with his shirt, and hesitantly asked if Iwa-chan would stay with him. Iwa-chan, of course, agreed. Iwa-chan didn’t dote like Oikawa’s mother did, but he had his own way of caring that made Oikawa’s heart flutter with tenderness. He’d grump at Oikawa to take it easy and ask for help with difficult tasks, and he was always, always there, ready to steady Oikawa if he limped to much or had trouble moving around. Oikawa would flash a plastic smile at him and say “You’re too concerned, Iwa-chan!” but really, he was so grateful to have Iwa-chan in his life. (And Iwa-chan knew this. Iwa-chan could always see through his plastic smiles.) They set up the spare futon in Oikawa’s bedroom, close enough so that they could have hushed conversations with each other. Under the cover of darkness, even their most mundane nighttime conversations seemed infinitely more intimate, and Oikawa clung onto them as much as he could. Eventually, they both drifted off to sleep, Iwa-chan first, and then Oikawa, when the thoughts racing in his head finally began to untangle and Iwa-chan’s steady breathing set a rhythm that lulled him to sleep. He woke up in cold sweat that night, from flashing dreams of cheering crowds and crows, gasping as he covered his face with his hands. Iwa-chan was awake in a second, by his side, strong hands rubbing soothing circles into his back. They laid back down, together, with Iwa-chan still touching him; his fingers rested, feather light, on Oikawa’s arm, just enough to ground him, just to remind him that he was there. (They fell asleep like that, and when they woke up, Oikawa’s hand grasped loosely at Iwa-chan’s wrist, and he could almost forget his worries for a moment.) (Iwa-chan stayed the next night, too.) The five days inched by with the speed of a snail on sleeping medication, but somehow, Oikawa tolerated them. His sleep, by the fourth night, grew less fitful. He stopped starting awake in the middle of the night, and started waking up aching for more sleep, instead. Improvements were improvements. And then, on the fifth day, Iwa-chan came to break the news to him: Seijoh had requested a practice match with Karasuno High. Oikawa backed up a little, eyes wide. “Are you joking?” “No,” Iwa-chan shot back, obviously uncomfortable. “The coach wanted it- he said that he’d heard about some new talent there, and wanted to see what they were made of. They’re coming tomorrow.” Oikawa didn’t say anything for a long moment. “I have my appointment tomorrow. They’re going to check my knee.” Iwa-chan shrugged and rubbed his arms. “I tried to talk to Coach, but he said that he wanted to give us as much as time as possible to prepare. But..” Iwa-chan looked at him steadily. “You aren’t upset, are you?” There was a glint in Oikawa’s eyes, when he looked up again, and he smirked. “Upset? Of course not! I can see what my adversary is made of.” Oikawa looked Iwa-chan dead in the eye, grasping his shoulders for a theatrical effect. “Tell Coach to expect me, at the practice math. I’ll be late, probably, but I’ll be there.” Oikawa wasn’t a genius, but he certainly wasn’t foolish enough to miss a chance to see the genius setter in action, with his new team (even if said setter has some issues with connecting with his team). He was going to study Tobio-chan. And he was going to bring him down. I know I'm not the center of the universe But you keep spinning 'round me just the same I know I'm not the center of the universe But you keep spinning 'round me just the same Iwa-chan cared deeply about Oikawa, which meant that Iwa-chan took care of Oikawa, to the point where sometimes, people wouldn’t understand why he would bother. But he always did. It was like a fact of nature. Birds had feathers, wings, and beaks. Speed could be measured by a formula of distance over time. Glucose was the product of a photosynthesis reaction involving six molecules of carbon dioxide and six molecules of water. Iwaizumi Hajime supported and cared about Oikawa Tooru, probably more than he cared about himself. (Oikawa was unsure about lots of things, but he was never unsure about this. Their bond was too strong to doubt- no one even bothered to suspect that Oikawa Tooru didn’t mean the world to Iwa-chan.) At this point, it was second nature to Iwa-chan. He never asked for any care in return- Oikawa marveled at how he was so effortlessly calm and collected, strong even in the face of Oikawa’s worst breakdowns. The only time Oikawa had seen him close to tears, since they were little kids, was when Iwa-chan confessed that he blamed himself for Oikawa’s injury. And so, it was a surprise to everyone, really, when it was Iwa-chan who cried, after their loss against Karasuno. Moments after the loss, Oikawa found himself surprisingly calm. Yes, on one hand, his emotions were pummeling him- he’d lost, he’d never make it to nationals, he’d never beat Ushijima- but on another hand, he thought, Well, I played to the best of my abilities. My team played to the best of their abilities. Karasuno was simply stronger. As a team. His teammates, they did not see it that way. They blamed themselves- to an extent, Oikawa blamed himself too, for not being able to catch that last damn ball- but right now, he needed to be there was his team. Tears were rolling off Matsukawa’s face, and after one glance at that sight, Hanamaki had turned away, his own eyes overflowing with emotion, teeth clenched painfully tight. And Iwa-chan, well Iwa-chan had bent over, shoulders shaking, and Oikawa felt like someone had taken a thin knife and was slowly, slowly impaling him with it. As they walked to the stands to thank their supporters, Oikawa clapped Iwa-chan on the back, firmly, reassuringly, hoping to send the message loud and clear. Be strong. I know you can. It was a temporary fix, at least. Iwa-chan was able to put on a brave face (and Oikawa knew it was a brave face) all the way, until they reached his darkened bedroom (Oikawa followed him home. He wasn’t letting Iwa-chan stay alone, not after this). As Iwa-chan began putting his things away, as they both changed clothes in silence, tears began to fall, and Iwa-chan would breathe deeply and make a futile attempt at wiping them away angrily. “I’m sorry,” he said, almost inaudible, not looking at Oikawa. His knuckles were white on the shirt that he was gripping, and his expression was agonized. “Why?” Oikawa asked, allowing concern to filter into his voice. Iwa-chan deserved concern, especially now, of all times. “I failed you,” Iwa-chan replied, and his voice was so certain, so lacking in hesitation, that it made Oikawa feel sick. How could Iwa-chan, his ace, his partner, think that he had failed Oikawa? He’d done quite the opposite. “It’s my fault,” Iwa-chan continued, while Oikawa was still struggling to find words. “There were so many…opportunities, I could have taken- I should have done something. It’s my fault that you can’t beat Ushijima. The setter can be as perfect as they can possibly be, and what good is that if the spiker can’t be just as good?” “I’m a shitty ace. So, I’m sorry.” At those words, Oikawa was speeding off the bed, and he materialized in front of Iwa-chan so quickly that Iwa-chan looked startled. He put his hands on Iwa-chan’s sturdy shoulders and gripped them tight, forcing Iwa-chan to acknowledge him. “Iwa-chan,” Oikawa said, in a soft voice reserved for the rarest moments. “Iwa-chan, you’re amazing. You’re everything that a setter could ask for. You’re everything that I could ask for. You were amazing out there, and you should never, ever think otherwise.” Almost subconsciously, Oikawa moved one hand up to cup Iwa-chan’s face (something he would never dare to do at another time), and used his thumb to brush away the stray, glistening tears that littered Iwa-chan’s face. His heart thrummed when he saw how Iwa-chan leaned into the touch, obviously needing that comfort and being too self-deprecating to ask for it. “Let’s go to bed,” Oikawa murmured, tugging Iwa-chan along with him. They moved backwards, slowly, until Oikawa’s legs hit the bedframe and he tugged Iwa-chan down with himself onto the mattress. “You need to rest.” “You too, dumbass,” Iwa-chan replied in a hoarse voice. The insult shouldn’t have made Oikawa smile, but he did, regardless, because all it meant was that Iwa-chan was feeling better enough to insult. Unlike when Oikawa got his knee injury, they didn’t fall asleep slowly, after a long conversation- instead, merely moments after hitting the bed, Oikawa felt sleep tug on his eyelids, and they both passed out within minutes, limbs tired and sore from hard work, minds weary and done with the emotions of the long, hard day. (They fell asleep with their fingers tangled together, and when they woke up, Iwa-chan’s hand was brushing Oikawa’s face and Oikawa’s arm was rested on Iwa-chan’s chest, and it was so comfortable that it made Oikawa want to shed a few tears, himself.) They were subdued, the next morning. Nobody expected them to be anything less- going to school the next day, knowing that there would be no need to go for volleyball practice, hurt in a way that Oikawa couldn’t even describe. They went to practice, anyways. Oikawa had to finalize who would be Seijoh’s next captain, and Iwa-chan had to be motherly and support the team, and they had to enjoy their last days being in a team alongside each other and alongside Matsukawa and Hanamaki. Oikawa felt that Yahaba could make an excellent captain, given some time. He had certainly managed to reign in some respect Kyouken-chan, which was a feat that nobody but Iwa-chan had even come close to. He was eager to choose Seijoh’s future…even if it meant that he would be leaving his beloved high school. They were still a team, after all. That bond wouldn’t be broken, no matter if the third-years were leaving, no matter if they were all going separate ways. They were a team. Holding on Why is everything so heavy? Holding on So much more than I can carry I keep dragging around what’s bringing me down If I just let go I’d be set free Holding on Why is everything so heavy? Oikawa didn’t bother with trying not to cry, during graduation. His eyes started to burn with emotion during the closing speech, and he let the tears run freely. He wasn’t the only one, obviously. Hanamaki was nearly sobbing, lips pressed into a watery smile, and as soon as everyone began getting up, he sought out Matsukawa, and they spent a good two minutes talking in private with their arms gripping each other tightly. (They were lucky, at least. They were going to the same university, after weeks of angsting and worrying about being separated.) Even Iwa-chan got watery eyed, though he did his absolute best to hide it from their classmates. Oikawa caught him wiping at his eyes, and flashed a smile at him, which made Iwa-chan punch Oikawa in the arm. “Dumbass,” Iwa-chan said, with no real bite, and Oikawa got him to crack a smile, so who was the real winner here? (The answer was Oikawa.) Oikawa’s tears were lots of things. They were his happiness- so happy, that he had come this far, and he had grown so much, and now he was going to college to become an adult. A lot of them were his sadness, for having to leave his friends, for having to separate with his team. (Not that Yahaba wasn’t going to be a a great captain. He was.) They were his fears, that he wasn’t going to be able to stay friends with them. That he would be so busy with his university volleyball and studies that he was going to lose touch with them. His fear that Iwa-chan and he would get so caught up in their own lives, they wouldn’t have time for each other. “Are you going to be living in the dorms?” he asked Iwa-chan, later that afternoon. He had considered it, himself, but he didn’t think that he wanted to be cooped up in a tiny room with a random stranger. He’d asked his mother about renting an apartment close to the university, and she seemed all for it, provided that he have a roommate. He would have no idea where to start looking for a roommate. Except Iwa-chan and his were both going to college in Tokyo, and the universities were only twenty minutes away from each other, and he had already seen some apartments that could house two people. Oikawa hoped that he wasn’t getting ahead of himself. “I don’t know,” Iwa-chan responded, fiddling with the bedsheets that they were lounging on. “I haven’t thought too much about it.” He snorted derisively. “Guess I should, shouldn’t I? We’ll be heading for Tokyo in a few months.” There was a slight pause, and then- “Come live with me!” Oikawa blurted out, with no prelude or forethought. He cursed himself as soon as the words were out of his mouth- what if Iwa-chan didn’t want to? What if Iwa-chan would rather have a college experience different from his childhood, where Oikawa was always there, stuck to his side- “Live with you?” Iwa-chan asked, voice lilted with disbelief. “You want me to live with you?” Oikawa cringed away, and looked down to his lap. “You don’t have to,” he mumbled,” It’s okay if you don’t want to, I just thought that maybe if you didn’t have any other plans, you would want to-” “No, I just,” Iwa-chan interjected,” I didn’t think that you’d want to.” Oikawa looked back up and frowned at him. “Why wouldn’t I want to?” Iwa-chan shrugged, looking vaguely uncomfortable, and glanced away. “I don’t know. I thought you’d want to experience something new. New people. ” “I do,” Oikawa stressed,” We’re both moving to Tokyo. Why can't we do it together?” Oikawa pretended not to see the small, purely happy smile that spread across Iwa-chan’s face at his words (and pretended that butterflies hadn’t erupted at that gesture, what the fuck). When Iwa-chan nodded, he grinned, and sang out,” We better go house hunting, then, Iwa-chan!” Iwa-chan just growled at him and threw a pillow at his face, but nevertheless, the queasy feeling that rose in Oikawa’s stomach at the thought of splitting into separate universities lessened drastically, and that was all the mattered to him. They found an apartment fairly quickly, a small two bedroom with a tiny kitchen that Oikawa was forbidden from using. They stocked it with cheap furniture and Oikawa insisted on putting a framed picture of the two of them from graduation on his dressed. (Whenever Iwa-chan came into his room, he seemed unusually flustered over the picture, and Oikawa thought it was so cute.) They had always been the biggest part of each other’s lives, but this…was different somehow. It was different, waking up to Iwa-chan groggily make coffee in the morning, or seeing him study with that furrowed concentration. It was a new kind of familiarity between, when they had thought that they couldn’t possibly get closer. Iwa-chan learned about Oikawa’s tendency to shower right before bed, and the way he liked to sing loudly to pop songs while he was in there. Oikawa learned that Iwa-chan liked his coffee sweeter than Oikawa’s, with three teaspoons of sugar instead of two like Oikawa had originally thought. (Eventually, they learned how it felt to slide into bed with each other, holding the other tight and warm and close, when they were feeling down, or when they just felt like it. They learned how it felt to stare at the other when the morning sun fell across their faces in a soft light.) I know I’m not the center of the universe But you keep spinning round me just the same I know I’m not the center of the universe But you keep spinning round me just the same And I drive myself crazy Thinking everything’s about me Oikawa still set his goals high. He’d study all night long for his tests, working his way up to being his professors’ favorite student. He practiced so hard for his college volleyball team. He became a starter in his first year itself, and that year, he pulled his team to nationals, where he faced, like a bad twist in fate, Ushijima, at the first match. (Oikawa lost.) (He had four more years, he told himself. He would make it. He would make it.) He still had days where his anxiety would spiral into a rapid heartrate and constricted breathing. He still had days where Ushijima (and even that damn Tobio-chan) infuriated him, and he ranted to a long-suffering Iwa-chan for hours. He felt like screaming when he visited Miyagi and went to watch the Spring High Semi-finals, and Karasuno took two out three sets from Seijoh, with their freak quick that had only managed to become better. His life was far from perfect. College was hard, and he longed for the days when he complained about how much homework his high school teachers gave him. And still, there were days where Oikawa felt like he could fly. Those were the days when his team perfected a difficult play, when he received full marks on a particularly difficult test. There were still the small things that made Oikawa’s life so good- the tiny shops that sold delicacies and specialty products that Oikawa reveled in, the long calls and short visits from Hanamaki and Matsukawa, the small smile that Iwa-chan seemed to reserve only for him, when he was tired and not pretending to be a grouch. After a particularly bad anxiety attack that Oikawa couldn’t hide, Iwa-chan dragged him to a psychiatrist, an even-tempered older woman who spoke to him and eventually gave him two things- a prescription and a list of good therapists in their part of Tokyo. He could unload his worries on a perfectly neutral professional, who patiently helped analyze his own feelings, separating them from their tangled chaos into something that he could deal with. Slowly, slowly, Oikawa could feel the pressure in his mind and shoulders get lighter. He still stressed out a lot, of course he did, but it was less than before, and the difference made him want to cry. And on the days when his mind was acting up, when his stomach felt tumultuous with uncertainty and fear, he could hold Iwa-chan close, indulge himself with Iwa-chan’s lips and words and body. (He could do that whenever he wanted, and that was something that brought him more joy than the rest of the universe could even hope to offer him.) Oikawa Tooru couldn’t be perfect. He struggled with Calculus and panicked and got jealous of his boyfriend a bit too easily. (Iwa-chan said it was cute, which only made Oikawa pout.) But Oikawa Tooru was happy, and he was learning to work with himself, and his future lay in front of him with volleyball, charisma, friends, and his amazing significant other. Sometimes thing would get too heavy for him to carry. But he could pick himself up, and he was learning to share the burden, and he would be okay. He would be amazing.
10442076	Werewolves Incubi and	{ "Archive Warning": null, "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Tony Stark, Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers", "Fandom": null, "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by DreamcatchersDaughter", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-25T00:00:00", "words": "1,157", "Additional Tags": "Supernatural Elements, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Just a Fluff ridden Fic, Fluff, OT3, Polyamory", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "James \"Bucky\" Barnes/Tony Stark/Sam Wilson, Tony Stark/Sam Wilson, (established), Tony Stark/ James \"Bucky\" Barnes, James \"Bucky\" Barnes/Sam Wilson", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom", "Archive Warnings": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply", "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Sam orders his regular coffee while he waits for the wonder that is his babbling boyfriend Tony.While waiting he stares disapprovingly at the hot barista making his order. His werewolf senses tell him that Bucky smells strongly of smoke. Sam hates it when hot men ruin their lungs with smoking. Tony appears at his side suddenly, as his incubus is often wont to do, and smiles smugly at his disapproving face. Tony nuzzles into Bucky's shoulder and croons, "My my, Caro Mio why such a lovely frown for our favorite barista hmmm?""Your favorite." Sam says with a little growl upset with the blush he can feel dusting his cheeks. By Tony's increasing smile he can feel the heat of them too. They have this argument often enough that Tony doesn't bat an eyelash at the snarling in his tone. Tony insists that they both have the crush on the same wonderful man and that they should snatch their prize up before someone else gets the same idea. Sam insists that he has no such crush, okay, he does not date smokers. Tony knows this, so Sam has no clue why he's pushing so hard. Well, it might be the way he chews out the barista about his bad smoking habits and the way he stares at those beautiful blue eyes with rage and concern. Tony knows him too well his next words prove it, "Our favorite, Cuore Mio or do you mean to tell me you didn't give him one of your, "take better care of yourself you ingrate" lectures while you ordered hmm?" Sam turns his face away from Tony's nuzzling smugness, but doesn't miss the triumphant smile in his boyfriends eyes. With that Tony leaves Sam to his brooding and approaches the counter with his usual wooing swagger and Sam can't help but watch.He watches a blush climb on to Bucky's alabaster cheeks as Tony begins crooning at their shared prey, "Potrei guardarti tutto il giorno, Tesoro Mio. Sono abbagliato da te." Sam feels the blood rush to his cheeks yet again as his love woos their mate, because Tony speaking Italian (his mothers language, something sacred to him) to their favorite person makes his blood sing for the moon.He hates when Tony proves his denial futile. As Tony orders his morning brew he can hear Tony's oldest and truest argument ring in his head. "Riddle me this then Caro, if you don't want him why have you let me woo him in Italian when you know exactly what I am saying to him, hmm, Cuore mio?"Sam had denied knowing what Tony was talking about, but the proof is evident in the joy he feels watching Tony work his magic. Watching the magic work on their mate is a heady feeling. Tony doesn't even have to use his natural lure to get their shared preys attention. Which says everything. Sam watches as Tony takes both their coffees from Bucky's' hands, caressing the flesh and metal both expertly. Then he hears in a soft whisper, "I am not sure your boyfriend appreciates the way you flirt with me." He sees Tony's manic grin and he knows whats going to happen before it does. He braces himself."Oh no, Tesoro Mio, don't take his morning scolding to heart, he's just worried about the health of your lungs. Smoking cigarettes is bad for your health after all. He very much enjoys watching me flirt with our crush." The way Tony says it has Sam on edge.He says it like he knows something they both don't.Bucky is blushing full fire now but what he says surprises Sam, but from the looks of it doesn't surprise Tony, "He thinks I smoke cigarettes?" "Yes. He smells the tantalizing smoke on your person and he worries." Tony is wearing his devils grin like he knows he's saying something particularly funny.Bucky smiles this time, "So he's not being a bigot?""No, Tesoro, and our interest has been genuine.""You knew? Why didn't you tell him?" Bucky says eyes narrowed at Tony now."I love seeing him all riled, protective and fighting his denial, I couldn't help myself." Tony says teeth gleaming, eyes riveted on Sam now.Bucky laughs low and amused. Sam feels himself blush again. Bucky comes out from behind the counter and Tony follows close behind him as the man approaches Sam."I smell like smoke, because I am a dragon," Bucky says softly. Then he does something that makes Sam's heartbeat double and blows smoke out of his mouth. Up close he can see the silver scales around his temple and the way his eyes go to slits. Sam growls out, "Tony, why the hell didn't you tell me?"Tony laughs as he wraps his arms around their dragons waist (hands free of coffee having left it at the counter) and stares over his shoulder at Sam, "Because then you'd come up with some other reason why we couldn't date him, Caro Mio, and this way he can crush your denial for you." Sam huffs indignantly. He wants to stay angry, but he knows Tony only wants the best for them. Sam can see Bucky is blushing bright now and his breathing is harsh. Sam knows it's because Tony's touch is making it hard to focus, or maybe just making him hard."Tony, careful," Sam says gently reminding his boyfriend to stop drowning their prey in lust. He wraps his arms around Bucky from the front and runs his hands lovingly over Tony's. Tony's own cheeks light up in embarrassment as he reels in the lust, "Sorry, Tesoro, just got a little excited."Bucky lets out a startled laugh and relaxes in both of their arms, enjoying the sensation of being surrounded by the men who he now knows have been wooing him for weeks.Sam gathers his courage, leans in to kiss Bucky's cheek and then asks, "So Hot Stuff, be our boyfriend?"Bucky smiles at him charmed and whispers, "I'd love to, sweetheart." Tony laughs, where he's gently kissing along Bucky's neck.Bucky shivers beneath Tony's mouth, "Sugar if you keep doing that in public, I won't be able to keep myself in check.""Yeah knock it off, that Jerk has to get back to work!" Steve shouts teasing from behind the counter.Sam and Tony pull reluctantly away from their prey. Bucky flips Steve off affectionately and then kisses his new boyfriends both gently on their mouths. Blowing a little smoke into Tony's for all the teasing.Tony inhales it happily, looking completely smitten. Bucky hands them their coffees warming them up a little with his magic and says, "I'll see you later loves?""Definitely." Sam says looking smug.Tony smiles, "Of course we will. Ciao Tesoro Mio!"Sam laughs as he drags his babbling boyfriend from the shop, thinking that maybe all smokers aren't so bad after all.
10448976	Time Out	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Lily Evans Potter, James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Marlene McKinnon, Dorcas Meadowes", "Fandom": "Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by Chie (Chierafied)", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-26T00:00:00", "words": "3,034", "Additional Tags": "Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Muggle, One Shot, Tumblr Prompt, Vacation, Snowed In, Enemies to Lovers, Humor, Romance", "Relationship": "James Potter/Lily Evans Potter", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "Reader Prompts JL", "Collections": "Have a Jily holiday", "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Lily should’ve realised that when her friends proposed a holiday in the Alps it was, indeed, too good to be true. As the car pulled in front of two picturesque lodges and a messy-haired young man came out to greet them, she immediately rounded on Marlene and Sirius.“What is he doing here?” she hissed.“His family owns the lodges,” Marlene replied with a shrug. “How else could we afford to come to a place like this?”“You tricked me!” Lily accused, glaring at Sirius and Marlene.“We just want to have a nice holiday with everyone,” Remus replied, sounding tired. “But if you have a problem with that I can drive you back to the airport and you can go home.”Lily bit her lip. “I didn’t mean–”“Yes you did,” Dorcas cut in, rolling her eyes. “Can’t you two try to get along? For once behave like adults, not like two unruly children.”An indignant reply already teetered on Lily’s tongue but with some effort, Lily managed to swallow it. She was only getting so mad anyway because Dorcas and Remus were right – it was the painful, bitter kind of truth that sank barbs into her heart and left deep gouges in her pride.Lily sat still as her friends got out of the car, catching her breath. Perhaps she should try to be civil with Potter. When would she get a chance like this again, to be on a trip with all her friends in such a scenic place? She wasn’t so selfish that she’d ruin this for everyone.Lily steeled herself and got out of the car, feeling all the guiltier when she noticed how James’ grin faltered as his eyes met hers. “So, where does all this luggage go?” Remus asked, lifting suitcases out of the boot of the car.“Since there are two lodges, I thought boys could take one and us girls the other,” Marlene said, shouldering her backpack.“Sounds good to me,” Dorcas agreed.Lily accepted her suitcase from Remus with thanks.“Go ahead,” Sirius said, nudging Lily’s shoulder. “James can give you a tour, right mate?”James glanced from Sirius to Lily and offered a hesitant smile. “Sure, if Lily doesn’t mind?”“A tour sounds nice,” Lily replied.“Ah, let me carry that for you.” James grabbed her suitcase.“Thanks,” Lily muttered, nodding.“Prongs, the keys. I’ll get us settled while you show Lily around,” Sirius offered.“Cheers, Padfoot,” James said, digging the keys out of his pocket and tossing them to Sirius.Then, he led Lily up the stairs and the two disappeared into the first lodge.Marlene gave Sirius the thumbs up. Sirius threw the keys to Marlene, who grinned deviously and followed the two up to the lodge. Checking that Lily and James were inside, she locked the front door after them.“Don’t forget the padlock!” Sirius cried.“Oh, right.” Marlene fiddled with the second lock, securing the latch and then slipping the padlock in place.Dorcas and Remus had stopped handling the suitcases, and were incredulously gaping at Sirius and Marlene.“What’re you doing?”“Did you just lock them in the cabin?”“You said it yourself,” Marlene said. “Those two need to start behaving like adults.”“Yeah,” Sirius said. “We’re all tired of seeing them bicker all the time, it’s time they worked through their issues.”“This isn’t how to go about it!” Remus glowered at Sirius and Marlene. “This is abuse!”“I agree. They’re going to kill one another in ten minutes, tops,” Dorcas said, crossing her arms.Sirius shrugged. “If they’ll try, we’ll run interference.”“And how would we know to interfere?” Remus challenged.“By keeping an eye on them,” Marlene piped up. “Sirius installed a hidden camera in the front room.”Dorcas pinched the bridge of her nose. “Let me get it straight – you’ve locked out friends in a cabin and are also violating their privacy?”“It’s to ensure their safety,” Marlene insisted. “Like CCTV.”“Except that they don’t know that you’re spying on them,” was Dorcas’ crisp retort.“Sheesh, you make it sound like I had the whole place decked out,” Sirius said. “This is a molehill, Dorcas, not a mountain. There is only one camera, and no mics whatsoever, no audio.”Remus pursed his lips and looked from Marlene to Sirius.“I don’t like this any more than Dorcas does,” he said at last, “but since the harm is already done, I’ll give this idiotic plan of yours two hours. After that, we’ll get them out.”Dorcas’ head dipped into a very stiff nod.Sirius and Marlene grinned. There wasn’t much to the tour, but Lily clung to her recent resolve to act civil.“The layout’s pretty similar in both cabins,” James was explaining while Lily let her gaze wander.The lodge wasn’t too big, the front room had an open plan with a kitchenette and a dining area on one side, a sitting area complete with a fireplace on the other. A loft overlooked the front room.“Why do you have two cabins, anyway?” Lily asked. She’d been wondering about that for a while.“Because of my dad,” James said. “He likes to come here whenever he has a research paper to write, so he wanted his own cabin, for peace and quiet. That room in the back,” James pointed, “is his study.”“That makes sense,” Lily commented mildly. And she supposed it did; as far as rich folks’ explanations went, this one was surprisingly practical – but having not one but two lodges in the Alps still seemed extravagant to someone for whom family vacations had mostly meant a drive down to Dorset.“So there’s one bed in my dad’s study,” James continued his tour, “And two beds up in the loft. The bathroom’s here, right next to the study.”“Okay.”“If you prefer to have your own room, might as well go snatch the study while Marlene and Dorcas are still outside,” James suggested, setting down her suitcase.Lily hummed. She grabbed her luggage and peeked into the study. It was very quaint, with a desk by the window, a tall bookcase, a single bed and a small chest of drawers doubling as a bedside table.It wasn’t really that she wanted her own room, Lily told herself, as she strode in and sat down on the bed. Rather, this room simply suited her, seemed to draw her in.“I’ll let you get settled in,” James offered, rubbing his neck. Then he left.Lily relaxed and looked around the room. Perhaps she’d enjoy her time here after all.She unpacked her things and inspected the study more closely, losing the track of time as she focused on the bookcase and let her finger run along the spines. They were science books, mostly, and a collection of journals and other periodicals were tucked in one corner. About to pull a few of those out to get a closer look, Lily suddenly became aware of how quiet the cabin was.Where were Dorcas and Marlene? Hadn’t they come in?She left the study to see what was keeping her friends, and found James Potter in the front room, pacing before the cabin door.Lily stopped in her tracks. She’d thought James had left already but here he was, obviously agitated.Her stomach gave an uneasy lurch.“James? Where’re Dorcas and Marlene?”He stopped, tugged at his hair, and slowly turned to face her. He was scowling – a dark and bitter expression so unlike his usual obnoxiously carefree attitude that Lily’s stomach plummeted two more inches.“Probably in the other cabin laughing their arses off,” he spat.“What?”“The door’s locked. And it’s not like the latch and the padlock would just magically fall in place so I called Sirius and guess what?”“…What?” Lily asked, dreading the answer.“We’re having a time-out,” James sneered, “like misbehaving children, so we can – and I quote: ‘work through our issues’!”At first there was numbness, then a sense of disbelief.“Are you saying our friends locked us in?” Lily demanded – but even as she spoke her incredulity was seeping away. Because that kind of twisted logic sounded exactly up Sirius or Marlene’s alley; especially if one of them was egging on the other.“Shit,” Lily said with feeling, then sank into one of the armchairs by the fireplace. “We need to get ourselves new friends.”“Definitely,” James agreed, sitting down onto the sofa across from her with a heavy sigh. “Better friends.”For a moment they sat in a companionable silence; united in their anger towards a common enemy. But then the air grew strained.Their eyes met, just as the both of them fully realised just how awkward their current circumstances actually were. “Well this is anticlimactic,” Marlene huffed in disappointment, turning away from Sirius’ laptop. “They’re just sitting there and moping – neither one has moved in like half an hour!”“If they’ve sat alone in the same room that long without a single argument, I’d call it progress,” Dorcas replied.“See, it works!” Sirius declared triumphantly. “And when James and Lily have become BFFs, you’ll have to admit our plan was brilliant.”“We’ll see,” Remus said, his voice dismissive. “There’s still plenty of time for everything to go tits-up.”“It’s gonna work,” Marlene insisted. “I mean they haven’t even tried to kill each other yet and it’s been almost an hour already.”“Maybe they’re building up to it,” Dorcas suggested dryly.“I find your lack of faith disturbing,” Sirius sniffed.“I find you locking our friends up in a lodge disturbing,” Dorcas retorted, earning a laugh from Remus.They settled down after that, Dorcas and Sirius going back to their videogame, Marlene turning back to moodily stare at Sirius’ laptop and the live camera feed, Remus back to browsing on his phone.Several moments passed, then the harmonious mood of the lodge was broken by Remus’ swearing.“Whoa there,” Dorcas said. “Language!”Remus took a deep breath and turned to look at them.“Sirius,” he started, his voice straining to stay calm, “when you were hatching this ‘brilliant’ plan of yours, did you bother to look at any weather forecasts, by chance?”“No,” Sirius replied. “Why?”“Because,” Remus spoke through gritted teeth, “there’s a warning. For snowstorms.”“Shit,” Dorcas hissed. She got up, dropping the videogame controller onto the sofa. “We need to get James and Lily out now.”Marlene, too, had got to her feet. Her face was pale as she stared at the window.“I think it’s already too late for that,” she whispered into the shocked silence of the cabin. The silence hung in the air, thick and heavy. It had lasted for so long that by now Lily didn’t dare to break it – not that she’d had anything to say, for that matter.She was curled up in her armchair, sneaking fleeting glances at her companion.Though she had no wish to play into her friends’ hands after this downright disrespectful stunt of theirs, Dorcas’ words from earlier still rankled.So here she was, pondering about James Potter, and trying to work through her issues. Specifically, she was trying to pin down what exactly it was that made her dislike him.It couldn’t be just the objectionable aspects of his personality – god knew Sirius and Marlene, too, had a fair share of those of her own, yet Lily was perfectly willing to overlook them and get along. But with James, for whatever reason, Lily seemed to overwhelmingly focus on the negative.Why?Could it all be traced down to his unfavourable first impression?Lily looked up and gasped. Outside the window, the world had become a white curtain of rapidly whirling flakes.James’ head shot up at the involuntary sound.“All right, Evans?”“It’s snowing.”James turned to the window and grimaced. “Not just snowing – looks like the start of a snowstorm. We’ll be here for a while.”“Unless we escape through the window,” Lily suggested.James shook his head. “It’ll be safer to stay put and wait for it to pass.”Lily hugged her knees.James got up from the sofa with a sigh. “Best get a fire going,” he muttered more to himself, then crossed the room and crouched in front of the fireplace.“At least we’re stocked up on marshmallows,” he commented, with a quick side-glance and a wry half-smile at Lily.Lily swallowed, unnerved by both James’ sudden proximity, and her private sneaking suspicion that she was somehow prejudiced against him. She hurriedly got out of her chair.“I’ll put the kettle on,” she offered for an excuse before escaping to the opposite side of the room.The familiar routine of preparing two mug of tea gave Lily a brief respite from the mounting awkwardness. But all too soon, she had to leave the safety of the kitchenette, and hand James his mug.He accepted it from her with quiet thanks, sitting down on the hearthside rug.Flames now crackled in the fireplace and Lily retook her seat.James was being unusually silent.Lily cradled her mug and wanted to say something, anything, so they wouldn’t lapse back into that uncomfortable, stifling silence from earlier, but the best her scrambling brain could manage was: “Nice fire.”Great. That didn’t sound idiotic at all.James turned to her with a wan, lopsided smile. “Thanks. The tea’s nice too.”“Mmh,” Lily agreed, feeling self-conscious.“Figures we’d get stuck in the cabin without the TV and the game console,” James snorted.“There’s plenty of books in your father’s study.”James made a face. “I’m on a break from uni, I don’t need any more academic reading to ruin my holiday.”“True,” Lily murmured, staring down at her tea.“What do you think,” James asked, glancing at her, “should we roast some marshmallows to pass the time?”“Sure, why not.”Lily’s gaze followed him as he walked into the kitchenette. Watching him rummage through the cupboards, it finally hit her.She didn’t like that he was rich. In reality, as she was starting to see, James was very down-to-Earth, but because of that unfortunate first impression, because he had disdained her former friend, and because she knew he was well-off, her hackles had risen. What in another person might’ve been simply confidence, in James she construed as arrogance.Honestly, Sirius was of a fancier pedigree – but his family status wasn’t an issue as he’d run away from them and had promptly been disinherited. But James – he was wealthy and he wasn’t ashamed of it and that had got Lily in the defensive.She jolted out her thoughts and noticed James was looking at her, his eyebrow raised.“What is it, do I have something on my face?” James asked.“No. Just… Sorry,” Lily blurted, a blush threatening to flood her cheeks.“No harm done, I’ve been stared at before,” James replied and walked back over to the fireplace.Lily squirmed.“No, it’s not that I just… felt that I owe you an apology. For being such a bitch. Sorry.”James blinked. “Thanks, I guess… But it takes two people to argue, and I’ve deliberately riled you up a lot so half the fault’s mine.”Lily looked up at him, surprised.“I’m sorry for giving you a hard time,” he said, running his hand through his hair. “It was immature and stupid and not really the right way to go about to get your attention.”It was Lily’s turn to blink. “My… attention?”James studiously stared at the rug, as a flush slowly crept to his cheeks.He didn’t offer a reply, but that reaction was answer enough.Oh, Lily thought.She tilted her head, and looked at James Potter as if she’d never seen him before.It couldn’t be that he fancied her?But there he stood, still avoiding her eyes and still blushing.Wow, Lily thought, letting that tidbit sink in.While Lily sat there dumbly, struggling to readjust everything she knew about James Potter, James sat down before the fireplace and busied himself with the bag of marshmallows.Lily slanted him a contemplating look, then made her mind.Cradling the tea mug in her hand, she left the safety of her armchair and took a seat on the floor, next to James.His shoulders stiffened and he still avoided looking at her, adding a fresh log to feed the dancing flames.Staring at the fire, Lily spoke softly. “I accept your apology – as long as you forgive me in return.”James looked up; their eyes met at last.“I already have,” he replied, his voice equally soft. Sirius was having a very pleasant dream when he was rudely shaken awake. He glared at Remus.“What’s the password?” Remus asked, completely unconcerned by Sirius’ grumpiness.“What?” Sirius asked, now both annoyed and confused.Remus jerked his head towards Dorcas and Marlene, and Sirius realised they were hovering by his laptop, staring helplessly at the lock screen.Sirius got up with a grunt and walked over to them. He dropped to the chair before the computer and typed in his password.“We fell asleep,” Marlene said, biting her lip. “All of us. And it’s still snowing.”“We just want to check on them, to see if they‘re okay,” Dorcas added, wringing her hands.Now fully awake, Sirius quickly brought up the live feed of his hidden camera.The window popped up, it’s picture dark and grainy.The four of them squinted at it, trying to make sense of what they saw.Then Dorcas swore. “I knew it, I knew they’d be at each other’s throats.”“Maybe it’s time to run interference,” Marlene offered hesitantly.Sirius blinked at the video, then gagged.Remus started to laugh. “Nah, I don’t think we should interrupt them right now. They’re not fighting, quite the opposite.” He levelled Marlene with a wry glance. “Seems like your plan has worked out too well.”Marlene blanched, then blushed. “For the love of god turn it off, I don’t want to see that!”Dorcas didn’t always see eye to eye with Marlene, but this time she couldn’t agree more.Sirius closed the window, leaving James and Lily to their own devices.
10439655	Twilight Lovers	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "F/F", "Characters": null, "Fandom": "Original Work", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Explicit", "author": "by orphan_account", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-25T00:00:00", "words": "3,808", "Additional Tags": "Secret Relationships/Forbidden Relationships, Dom/sub Play, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Butt Plugs, Light Spanking, Mentions Of Infidelity, Cunnilingus, Spies, Cold War Era", "Relationship": "Female Spy/Female Spy", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": "Smut Swap 2017", "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Six p.m. sharp, and Greta was waiting for Evelyn in the small restaurant she'd picked out a few days earlier, when Evelyn had phoned her and told her she was coming to the city ("Greta darling, I'm in town and I'd simply love to see you"), and to make a reservation for two at six ("Be a dear and find a nice place for us to eat"). It was phrased as a suggestion, but Greta knew better than to overlook the steel underneath Evelyn's silky voice. Men were fooled by that sort of thing, the exaggerated gestures, the sense of drama, thought she was just a lush and a flirt; Greta saw beneath that. Greta knew. Even if her handler hadn't informed her exactly what Evelyn was when she was assigned the mission eight months ago, Greta would have known she was special. She had an eye for these things; she knew secrets, could sniff them out like a hound. It was what drew the agency to her in the first place. (Sitting in a room full of men with her new self sketched out before her on a bulletin board, red thread linking together disparate shards of a life she would soon slip into like a freshly-tailored dress; they'd given her the name Margaret, told her to go by Peggy. She wasn't a Peggy. This was important; she had to assimilate this new self, sink into her until every last fact and quirk was as engrained as if she'd truly lived it, and she—the woman they had created together—would never have been called Peggy. She nibbled on their patience like a mouse on cheese, pressing and pressuring without quite nagging, until they agreed; yes, she could choose a different nickname, Greta sounded like a good one. Did they even realize they'd been manipulated? Greta's bet was on no. Greta could go nose-to-nose with Evelyn. Peggy couldn't have.) Greta played with the napkin absently, a little nervously, rolling it into idle shapes. Evelyn liked to keep her waiting; she would waltz in ten minutes late and act like nothing was wrong, all smiles and cheek-kisses and that look in her eye that asked, Did you do what I told you to do? Are you being a good girl? Much like her sweet-mouthed suggestions, the questions had a hard edge. Evelyn—and Greta, for that matter—was fond of the sharper pleasures in life, and on certain occasions, like this one, it showed. Greta checked her watch. About ten past; Evelyn was due in any minute now. She was astonishingly predictable in some ways, though not in any of the convenient ones. And sure enough, she blew through the double doors of the restaurant like a miniature hurricane, clad in a vibrant blue sheath dress with a Peter Pan collar, girlish and chic, her eyeliner thick like Cleopatra's, her dark hair sprayed and teased into a bouffant. Tall—five foot ten in bare feet—and blue-eyed, with a straight, patrician nose, she and Greta could have been sisters. "Greta, my darling, my love!" Evelyn was holding her arms out to her, clearly waiting for a hug. Greta stood, which she had been avoiding, and felt it shift inside her. Her cheeks flamed, and Evelyn noticed; her smile danced wickedly as she embraced Greta and kissed her red cheeks like a European. "You really must stop it with that affectation, you know," Greta said as they sat down. "It makes you seem positively un-American." "Don't even joke about it," laughed Evelyn. "I'm as American as apple pie." "Don't I know it," said Greta. "Shall we eat?" They settled down at the table, looking for the world like a pair of cousins, or best friends. Appearances are deceiving. Evelyn's eyes were sharp and cold throughout dinner, though her plump lips were smiling; she evaluated Greta coolly as they ate. Greta matched her gaze for gaze. This was a careful waltz they danced; neither of them could afford a misstep, though Greta risked one more and more as the meetings multiplied. (Evelyn's grip on her wrist had been bruising when the penny dropped and they gazed at each other not as friends, not even as the lovers they would soon be, but as the equals they were: enemy agents on two sides of a war. How Evelyn knew, Greta wasn't sure. There was nothing so obvious as bloodstains on Greta's dresses or an obvious display of an unusual aptitude with weapons, but Evelyn's cold intuition had burrowed deeper and deeper into the Greta persona until Evelyn knew there was something lying in wait beneath it, something steel underneath all that silk. And then, Evelyn's hand on her wrist, those cold eyes slicing her open. My target, Greta had thought, her head empty and her body weightless. How naive she had been to assume she could pull the wool over the eyes of a sleeper agent with decades more experience in the art of espionage; how naive her handler had been to let her take Evelyn on in her own time, with her own methods. She's going to torture me for information and kill me. The thought was clinical, academic; the rest of her was floating, panic sunk so deep into her bones she could only stand there limply and let Evelyn do whatever she wanted. Evelyn kissed her. Greta never knew why; never knew what made Evelyn take the risk. She kissed back. She hadn't been able to let that opportunity go to waste. But somehow, four assignations later, the interrogation she knew must happen eventually still hadn't come to fruition, and the affair continued.) Evelyn took a bite of her steak—she ate it nearly raw, the plate dripping with juices—her eyes still locked onto Greta's. "Are you wearing the jewelry I bought you?" she asked, chipper as could be, a cruel gleam dancing in her eyes. Greta's cheeks, still pink as they always were around Evelyn, flushed red again. She prayed for composure and lowered her fork gently to the plate. "Yes," she said. "It's certainly…a unique piece." Evelyn flashed her a grin. "You'll have to show me later tonight," she said sweetly. Greta's breath caught in her throat, and she nodded mutely. This was how it went with Evelyn; Greta was more than her match at business, but pleasure…that was something else. Evelyn's smile made Greta's stomach contract and her body squeeze down on the thing she had slid inside herself earlier that afternoon, Evelyn's gift to her: a chrome object, like a dildo but flared at the base, accompanied by handwritten instructions detailing exactly what Evelyn's expectations of her that evening were. (Cut to Greta, kneeling on the floor of her bathroom at five p.m. that afternoon, her agency-assigned husband watching television in the next room. Her fingers had been sticky with lubricant and her hands shaky as she toyed with the rim of her hole, freshly cleaned and waiting for the shining plug sitting on a towel next to her. She had been soaking wet, dripping down her thighs, knowing that she was doing this for Evelyn, that later that evening Evelyn would be praising her on how well she had taken the plug, what a good girl she was. She doused the plug in lube and carefully pressed it against her hole. It stretched her wide, made her ache as it eased inside; she dug her teeth into her bottom lip and shivered as it slid home and left her irrevocably filled in a place she hadn't let anyone touch before. Standing carefully, for even the slightest movement made the plug shift and a moan slip past her lips, she presented her ass to the mirror and saw what Evelyn would see in a few hours: pert cheeks parted by the plug, a glass sapphire set in its base. Blue to match your eyes, the note had said. Evelyn did have a strange sense of humor. Then Greta had dressed in her favorite lingerie and put on a demure pink dress with a full skirt, strapped a .22 to her thigh, and went to her rendezvous with the Soviet agent.) Dinner came and went; Greta couldn't have told anyone what they talked about over it, nor during drinks afterward. She was too busy looking at Evelyn's hands: lean-fingered, expressive, prettily manicured but calloused in ways that belied her training. Greta imagined them wrapped around her wrists, hard enough to bruise, those pretty pink nails leaving livid welts down her back. "Shall we go to my hotel?" Evelyn asked when the check had been returned and the bill paid. A cruel little smile played around her lips. Greta nodded wordlessly. They linked arms as they left, like the best of friends. Greta knew better than to buy it. The room was small and neat, done up in shades of red and white, with a fashionably eye-searing paisley bedspread and a bright red swivel chair next to the desk. Greta wiped her sweating palms on her dress and tried to ignore how it clashed with the décor; she had more important things to worry about. "Come here, silly thing," Evelyn said, and took Greta by the shoulders and spun her around. "Let's get you out of this dress." Her touch was so light Greta could barely feel it, yet she shivered as Evelyn eased the zipper down her back. Down, down, revealing first her bra, stark black against her pale skin, then her matching girdle with its floral lace inset. Her slip was black, too, embroidered with pink flowers that matched her dress, silky to the touch, and it hid her garters and the tops of her stockings. Evelyn's breath ghosted across her neck; Greta closed her eyes as her fingers skimmed her hips, traced down her thighs. Her hands paused at the noticeable bump of Greta's leg holster, and there was a moment when the other spy's body went stiff against Greta. Tension held Greta as straight as a fishing line pulled taut, until behind her, Evelyn relaxed again and chuckled. "Leave business at home next time," she whispered, and bit Greta's neck as hard as she could. Greta hissed between her teeth and embraced the pain with a shiver. She knew she'd been walking a fine line, bringing the gun here, but it was solid intel: Evelyn cared enough about their arrangement to grant Greta a little leeway, though they were technically still enemies. It was good to know, useful information to have. At the moment, Greta couldn't care less. With nimble fingers, Evelyn stripped the gun from its holster and placed it gently on the desk with the grace of a woman who knew her way around weapons. She unbuckled the holster and eased it out from under the slip, then dug her nails into the soft flesh right above Greta's knee and dragged upwards, tearing rents in the nylons, scratching deep enough to draw blood. Greta shrieked, muffled by her own hand clapped over her mouth, and twisted in Evelyn's arms, a bird trapped in a spiderweb. "Now, now," Evelyn murmured in her ear, all the insouciance and gaiety bled from her voice, "don't squirm, dear. Take off these pretty things and show me the gift I gave you." How could Greta do anything but obey? The slip came off first, the silky fabric puddling at her feet. Evelyn watched, perched in the swivel chair, her chin in her hand and her eyes intent. The bra next; Greta knew how to tease. The girdle was harder to take off elegantly, the elastic stretching over her full hips, and when Greta bent over the plug within her made itself known, an alien fullness deep inside her; she bit back a moan and felt her underwear dampen. Behind her, Evelyn watched with statue-like patience. She would have been trained for that, Greta knew, just like Greta had been. "Go on," Evelyn whispered when Greta hesitated. She was down to the last item, her underwear, the only thing protecting her from revealing not only the plug but how she was already soaking wet from just from this little game. But she could not refuse Evelyn's request, not tonight. She eased her underwear down and bent over the bed, wearing only her heels and the jeweled plug. She kept her eyes squeezed tight as Evelyn's appraising eyes ran over her body. "Perfect," Evelyn commented, and Greta heard the fabric of her dress rustle as she stood. "You followed my orders to the letter, didn't you?" "Yes," Greta whispered, and quivered when Evelyn ran her nail down the curve of her spine. Her hand stopped at the ripe curve of Greta's ass, then thoughtfully probed the plug, pressing it in deeper and then pulling it gently until Greta's body relaxed enough to let it go—but then she pushed it in again, fucking Greta with it, stretching her open, and Greta buried her face in the bed and moaned. Her clit throbbed, begging for a touch, but she didn't dare play with it without permission. "Touch yourself," Evelyn said, as if she'd heard Greta's silent plea. Her hand shot between her legs instantly, and found the little nub that brought her such pleasure. She dipped her fingers further back, getting them nice and sticky with her own fluids, before returning to her clit and circling her fingers around the bundle of nerves, gasping every time she hit the spot that sent electricity sparking deep within her. She heard Evelyn's breathing grow hoarse as she squirmed, clenching her legs together, the plug shifting inside her. She thought, not for the first time, how perverse it was, how dirty, to touch herself there, to not only let Evelyn play with her ass but to ask for it. Yes, she was just following instructions, but—god, she'd loved it, easing the plug inside her, knowing how wrong it was. She could have come just from that, if Evelyn had allowed her to. Would Evelyn let her come now? Her body tensed, arching like a bow, and— "No," Evelyn said, amused. She swatted Greta on the ass, a playful punishment, and Greta squeaked and withdrew her hands. Evelyn hummed behind her thoughtfully, and Greta went still, wondering what she would do. Another slap on the ass, not so gentle this time. Then another, and another—Greta gasped and squirmed and dug her nails into the sheets, buried her face in the pillow as the slaps rained down. She couldn't move—she had to stay still for Evelyn, take what she gave her—a particularly vicious slap, and Greta yelped, tears coming to her eyes and more wetness dripping from her cunt. "You look so lovely," Evelyn murmured. "This blue—" she tapped the glass sapphire at the base of the plug, "—and your pretty red skin. Did you know you can see my handprint, right here on your ass?" "Please," Greta said, the words tumbling out, "please spank me again—" "Greedy little thing," Evelyn said, and took Greta by the hips and flipped her over, her lithe arms strong. Greta hit the bed with a little cry, but Evelyn didn't give her time to recover; she sank to her knees, still composed in that stylish blue dress when all Greta had on was her heels, grabbed Greta by the thighs with a harsh grip, and buried her face between Greta's legs. Greta cried out and arched her back hard, her hands instinctively going to Evelyn's head, twining in her hair and yanking hard. Evelyn moaned, her first sign of discomposure all evening, and licked and sucked at Greta's cunt with single-minded intensity. She dipped her tongue inside Greta, lapping at her, then flattened it and dragged it all up her cunt to stop at her clit, tracing teasing circles around it. Greta spread her legs wider and bloomed for her, swollen and ripe. She ground her hips against Evelyn's face, all thought completely fled from her mind, intent only on the pleasure rippling through her like shockwaves. "Don't stop," she was saying, incoherently, over and over, "don't stop, Evelyn, please don't stop—" Evelyn sucked on her clit and Greta's legs clamped shut around her head, and then Evelyn pulled away, seconds before her climax. Greta whined before she could stop herself, and thrust her hips towards Evelyn's face pleadingly. "No," Evelyn said again, and stood. Greta watched her dumbly, thinking only of the pleasure denied her, before Evelyn slapped her across the face and snapped, "Lie down." Face stinging—oh, the humiliation of it all, sweet and sticky on her tongue—Greta fell backwards and scrambled up the bed as Evelyn came after her, eyes intent and hot as blue flame. She hiked up her skirt and Greta saw that she wore no underwear, only garters and nylons. "Were you—like that—the entire time?" asked Greta, stumbling over the words, her face hot at the thought. Evelyn sitting across from her at dinner, bare cunt against her dress, Evelyn letting her skirt ride up in the train without anything to protect her from staring eyes. Greta had a brief, vivid flash of sinking to her knees in the back of the train and licking Evelyn out right there, so real she could almost taste Evelyn on her tongue. "The entire time," Evelyn confirmed, and pushed Greta flat, climbing over her to straddle her face. She grabbed Greta's wrists in that bruising grip and pinned her hands above her head. "Do you like thinking about that? Knowing you could have dropped your napkin and taken a lick any time you wanted?" "Can I take a lick now, please?" Greta wanted to know, and Evelyn only laughed and lowered herself to Greta's face. "Greedy," she said again, but the bite in her voice was stripped out by the gasp she gave as Greta parted her lower lips with her tongue and licked a long, slow stripe up her cunt, stopped just before her clit; Evelyn liked to be teased. This was Greta's favorite part of their encounters, even more than her own pleasure or the mind games they played: the tangy taste of Evelyn on her lips, dripping down her tongue, hot and sticky on her face. She lapped at her like a woman lost in a desert would lap at a water bowl, putting her neck into it, desperate and yes, greedy, just like Evelyn said, thirsting for every last drop of Evelyn's arousal. Tracing circles around her clit, she reached up and cupped Evelyn's breasts, toying with her nipples through her dress. They were hard and erect, and deliciously sensitive; Evelyn gave a throaty groan and ground down on Greta's face as she squeezed and pinched the firm nubs. Enough teasing; Greta wanted to feel Evelyn come on her face. She curled her lips against Evelyn's clit and sucked gently, her tongue working with eager little licks, and was rewarded for her patience as Evelyn gasped and arched her back, hard. She dug her fingers in Greta's hair, yanking her closer, grinding against her mindlessly, taking her pleasure from Greta's mouth. At last she trembled and slapped a hand over her mouth, body going stiff as her climax hit her. After a moment, Evelyn said, "Touch yourself," in a breathy voice. "And don't you dare stop licking me." Greta did not dare. She went back to the slow, teasing strokes she'd used earlier, dipping her tongue inside Evelyn before dragging it up and around, around, sucking slightly, Evelyn's fluids smeared across her face, and snaked a hand between her own legs to find her clit swollen and aching. She fluttered around it with the tip of her fingers for a moment, stroking her labia, venturing inside herself to rub her own lubrication all the way up her cunt, then circled her clit with two fingers. Over and over, her fingers dancing, as the fire built inside her and Evelyn shook on top of her and then— Then— Greta cried out, muffled by Evelyn's cunt, and her muscles seized as pleasure descended over her in rippling waves. At some point, Evelyn came again; Greta was too far gone to notice. And just like that, it was over. Evelyn, still breathing hard, swung off Greta and onto the bed, leaning back on her elbows, careful not to muss her bouffant. Greta lay flat, Evelyn's fluids glistening on her face, tongue sore, feeling drunk on the aftermath of orgasm. "You'll have to go soon," Evelyn said after a few minutes had passed. Her voice had gone flat and clinical; the spy's voice, not the lover's. "Your friend will want to have a little chat." Greta's handler would be eager to hear how this meeting had gone, and inevitably disappointed when he heard of Greta's failure to pry information out of Evelyn yet again. Sometimes Greta thought it would be easier if he were the prurient type, interested in her and Evelyn's affair, and thus distractible; unfortunately, he would only look at her with cold eyes and tell her that time was running short, she had to find out who Evelyn's contact was. And Evelyn…God only knew what Evelyn's handler was telling her. "Let me wash my face first," she said, and rose to her feet. She made her way to the sink, acutely aware of Evelyn's eyes on her back, and splashed water on her face. The plug was still inside her, less arousing now but a comforting weight nonetheless. Evelyn's toy. Evelyn's scratches on her thighs. Evelyn's tongue in her cunt. How much longer could she put off her mission? She put her clothes back on in a reversal of the striptease she'd performed earlier: underwear, girdle and ripped nylons, the thigh holster and the gun—her fingers flexed on the weapon, and she entertained a brief, nearly hallucinatory fantasy of drawing it and turning on Evelyn, set to complete her mission—then the bra and finally the slip, all under Evelyn's cool gaze. When she turned around, the other spy was there, holding out Greta's dress. "I'll zip you," she said. Greta stepped into the dress, the full skirt flaring at her hips; Evelyn knelt behind her and helped to zip it up, caressing the curve of Greta's spine. A flutter against the nape of Greta's neck as Evelyn stood, her body pressed against Greta's back; a kiss? Surely not. "Until next time," Greta said, and wished she could take it back. Evelyn looked up at her, and Greta thought she caught a flicker of regret in her eyes. "Yes," was all she said in reply. Greta bowed her head, and left her lover, closing the door gently. The mission could wait. But not much longer.
10493706	Im The Fuel and Shes The	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Phil Coulson, Melinda May, Tony Stark, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner (mentioned), Clint Barton (mentioned), Jarvis (Iron Man movies)", "Fandom": "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by orphan_account", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-29T00:00:00", "words": "1,914", "Additional Tags": "Post-Coulson's Death, The Avengers know he's alive, Post-Bahrain, Philinda joking about their traumatic experiences lmao, no plot basically, Crack-ish, fluff-ish, Fluff and Crack, Well you know my attempt at fluff and crack anyway, The Avengers going to lengths to get them on a date, Personally I think this doesn't make any sense, Because it doesn't fit in MCU/the show's canon timeline, but screw it, Actually now that I think about it, It might be AU-ish, I don't know", "Relationship": "Phil Coulson/Melinda May", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Phil was walking back to his apartment after a briefing at HQ, the grocery bags in his hands covering half his vision. All he could blame was himself when he wasn’t able to notice a van rounding the corner of his street.The next thing he knew, masked men grabbed him and attempted to throw him into... not a van??? It was actually a limo. After the men knocked the groceries out of his hand he could see the vehicle more clearly.“Rich boss, then?” Phil said with composure. “After all of this I’m expecting that he pays back my groceries.”The three men didn’t answer. And despite putting up a really good fight, Phil didn’t stand a chance. He could see that these men were highly trained. He also saw, when he got close enough to the man who ultimately beat him, that the man was actually a woman.When he was in the limo, his mouth was duct taped, his hands were tied, and a bag was put over his head. He really wanted to complain but the seats were just so comfortable.He knew that help was going to come sooner or later anyway, so he just settled himself on the somehow familiar suede seats. At least he was being kidnapped in style. They finally came to a stop. One of the men and the woman grabbed him by the arms and dragged him into what he could feel was an elevator. When they reached the floor they supposedly wanted him on, they left him standing there, unsure of what he was expected to do.He almost jumped when he felt mechanical things all over his body, but then it dawned on him. Tony Stark.His mind calmed a bit when he realized he was just getting a change of clothes. It was nice considering his milk was spilled all over his suit when The Avengers decided it was a nice day to kidnap him.The last thing the robot arms removed was the bag over his head. He then removed the tape that covered his mouth. He sneezed when another robot arm sprayed perfume all over him.“Good evening, Agent Coulson,” Jarvis’ voice resonated in the room. “You are expected in the dining room.”Phil shook his head slowly. Why does he even bother with these superhero antics? At least he didn’t have to make dinner for himself that night.“Melinda?” the first thing he saw was Melinda May standing with her back to him. She was facing the wide windows of the Avengers Tower overlooking New York.“I hope you have nothing to do with this,” she turned around and there was annoyance in her voice, but also a kind of amusement. “We’re locked in here. And what exactly are we doing here?”Phil shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine.”“You two are having dinner together,” it was Tony Stark’s voice this time that surrounded them.“You kidnapped me so I can have dinner with May?” Phil said in almost disbelief.“They kidnapped you?” May also said in almost disbelief. “They just told me that there was an urgent meeting. Then I knew it wasn’t an urgent meeting when an hour passed by and none of them went in. I also figured out that the room is locked.”“Great observation, Agent May,” Tony said. “Even the Hulk knows that the better idea is not to kidnap you.”“Why are we here?” Phil asked.“Dinner.” Tony replied in an enthusiastic voice. “And in the middle of the table, there’s a stack of cards for talking points.”“We know how to talk to each other,” May rolled her eyes at no one, although she knows that there are most definitely cameras all over the room.“I know,” Tony said. “But you two are participating in an experiment.” Both of them could hear the grin in his voice.“I’m going to kill Nat for this,” May drew her mouth in a tight line as she shook her head. “I can break us out, Coulson.”“You’re underestimating us if you think we haven’t thought this through,” it was Natasha’s voice this time that replied to her. “We May-proofed that room, Melinda. The only way you’re breaking out is by going through all the cards.”“She’s right,” Phil said in that cool way that always calmed her. “I think we should just get this over with.” He was already making his way to the table, standing behind the chair he was intending to pull for her.“Fine,” Melinda walked over toward him and let him pull the chair out for her. “ When Phil sat down across her, the lights dimmed just a bit, and electronic candles were automatically lit around the room.“Don’t worry,” Tony’s invisible presence made itself known again. “We won’t be bothering you two during the experiment. The cameras will be down so you two can do whatever you want.”May scoffed because she knew that Tony was lying. Phil laughed softly, because he knew that Melinda knew that Tony was lying.Phil poured them wine as Melinda started cutting her food.“So, do you want to go first?” Phil asked.She reached out to grab a card and read the question out to him. “Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?”Without missing a beat, Phil answered. “Steve Rogers.”“Wrong answer,” Tony interrupted them again and Melinda rolled her eyes fondly. “I can confirm that Captain America is blushing, but that’s the wrong answer.”“What happened to ‘We won’t be bothering you’?” Melinda said. “And haven’t you had dinner with the Avengers?” she added, this time addressing Phil.“Well, they were all lunches so...” Phil was careful not to mention how sick he was of Shawarma. “My turn.”Phil wiped his mouth with the napkin and grabbed the next card. When he saw the question, he immediately regretted it, and so he read it with uncertainty. “Would you like to be famous, and in what way?”Melinda raised her brow. He figured that she was thinking how to approach the question, knowing her reputation at SHIELD. “I already am, though,” she smirked and took a sip of wine. “I’m The Cavalry.”Phil smiled softly at her. He knew that that was a sensitive topic, and he inwardly sighed in relief when she decided to casually talk about it. Maybe this isn’t so bad after all.They exchanged a couple more questions until Melinda almost choked as she saw the question she was about to ask Phil. “Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?” Phil laughed. “I have this recurring dream of dying in the hands of an Asgardian god.”Melinda laughed, too.“Okay, so name three things you and your partner – that’s you and I – appear to have in common.” Phil read the next question. He was getting way into this now.“Well, we both...” she trailed off, lost in her thoughts of combining her and Phil’s traits together.“Really like this tie?” Phil suggested.Melinda scoffed as her face drew into a frown. “No,” she shook her head fondly. “How about, we are both good agents – ““Amazing agents,” he interrupted.“We’re both amazing agents, we both hate our friends the Avengers, and we both know that I don’t drink coffee.”“You forgot to add the fact that you’re both in love with each other,” Thor’s accent rang throughout the room. They almost forgot that they were being watched by superheroes who have too much time on their hands.He knew that it was bad to think it, but Phil really wished that a city would be in dire danger that moment. They looked at each other after every Avenger voiced out their agreement. It went quiet until Melinda cleared her throat and broke eye contact by looking down at her lap. He swore he just saw her smiling at the floor.After a while, they started going through the cards again. They talked until they were eating desert.“What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?” she asked.“It’s not really one great thing, but a series of small things,” Phil answered genuinely. “It’s all lead me here – everything I’ve been through. And I think just being able to protect people, whether it’s in the shadows or not – that’s my greatest accomplishment.”“What a soft man,” Thor interrupted them again. “I admire your softness, Son of Coul.”Melinda’s smile just grew even bigger.Phil read the next question. “What do you value most in a friendship?”“I have an idea,” Tony said. She barely even had enough time to think before he spoke. “You two say your answers at the count of three. 1, 2, 3!”“Loyalty,” Phil said.“You,” Melinda answered at the same time.Phil blushed. “Well that’s basically the same thing.”As the night went on, the stack of cards became thinner and thinner. Melinda counted and there were about five cards left. She was about to ask the next question.“If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone?”Phil almost froze in his seat. In his mind, he was weighing the pros and cons of just telling Melinda how he felt. After what seemed like an eternity, he finally answered the question. He literally had nothing left to lose, anyway.“I would regret not telling my best friend that I’m completely in love with her.”“Well, why haven’t you told your best friend yet?”“I don’t want to complicate things. And you should know – in our job, people can easily hold that against us. It’ll just make things harder if something happens to her.”“I’m sure she feels the same way,” Melinda reached out across the table to hold his hand. “And I’m sure you have great taste, and that your best friend can kick anybody’s ass.”“Well, she is friends with the Avengers. Both of us are. I’m thinking they can come in when she’s really in trouble.”“You bet we will,” Natasha said. Phil and Melinda laughed. It was surprising that they didn’t think it ruined the moment.“Now read the last card,” Steve spoke.“Ready?” Phil asked. He was stroking her hand with his thumb. “Look into each other’s eyes for four minutes.”Phil couldn’t count how many times Melinda rolled her eyes that night. He made really bad jokes and she pretended she hated them. Their superhero friends kept interrupting the romantic night they themselves planned for them. The last time she rolled her eyes was after he read the last card.They stared into each other’s eyes and music gradually faded in throughout the room. It was surprising that she didn’t roll her eyes at that. Instead she looked even deeper into the blue ones right in front of her.When the music and their four minutes were over, it felt like they had said more to each other than when they constantly probed the other with questions. Their dinner was over and they heard Jarvis announce that the room has been unlocked.They both got up to leave, knowing this one night just changed their relationship forever.“I still fully expect new and high quality groceries delivered to my doorstep tomorrow, Stark!” Phil shouted into the room.Phil and Melinda walked out of the room holding each other's hands.
10411083	Choppers Training	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": null, "Characters": "C1-10P \| Chopper, AP-5 (Star Wars), Wedge Antilles", "Fandom": "Star Wars: Rebels", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by alayneni", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-23T00:00:00", "words": "1,318", "Additional Tags": null, "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	C1-10P that was his official designation in the Imperial Army. He was nothing more than another astromech droid. Droids were servants, pieces of metal to be ordered around and subjected to the whim and fancy of their commanders. The fate of droids did not matter to the Empire. Entire series were often decommissioned and sent to the scrap yards where they were either melted down or sold to scavengers. Any droid that disobeyed orders was sent immediately for reprogramming.Being a droid in the Imperial Army was a very lonely experience. Chopper didn't realise how lonely until Hera saved him. With Hera, he was not another piece of metal, he was Chopper and he was important. He was not left behind or discarded to the side or threatened with reprogramming. Though all his needs weren't always met, like that replacement strut for his leg, he knew he wasn't purposely being cast aside because he was just a droid. Chopper appreciated that they were trying to do their best with the resources that they had at their disposal.There was one thing that Chopper grew to love the most during his time on the Ghost, freedom of expression. He loved expressing himself and telling his crewmates exactly what he thought of them and some of the plans that they came up with. He preened every time Hera selected one his plans for a mission or listened to his suggestions. It felt great to be valued and even better to know that Hera indeed listened to him and trusted him.In all of his missions on the Ghost he had never come across another droid as self-aware as him until he met AP-5. AP-5 had successfully broken out of the imperial mould himself. Somehow in his years of service to the Empire he learned to value his worth. He realised that the Empire didn't care about him when they removed him from his initial role as an analyst droid to an inventory droid on a normal freighter. AP-5 knew that the crew was mistreating him and he knew he could be so much more than just an inventory droid. AP-5 was unhappy.When Chopper came along, he recognised that loneliness in AP-5 and he recognised a fellow droid that didn't deserve to be treated the way he was. Chopper was all too happy to remove the restraining bolt and work with AP-5. He invited him to join the rebellion where AP-5's talents could be fully harnessed. He knew AP-5's personality wasn't as glowing as his own but not all biological lifeforms came with great personalities either. Zeb and Ezra were great examples of that.During AP-5's time with the rebellion he and Chopper became good friends. On Chopper's most recent mission to get the security access codes for the Imperial factory on Lothal, AP-5 was the first one to notice that something was wrong with him. AP-5 didn't just only notice, he came to the correct conclusion about what was wrong, how it happened and when. He shared his conclusions with their pilot Lieutenant Wedge Antilles who just disregarded it. AP-5 was in charge of the mission and Lieutenant Antilles should not have so easily dismissed AP-5 as being paranoid. The entire rebellion was put at risk because of that dismissal.The fighter pilots all trusted each other. Wedge needed to trust AP-5. When AP-5 said something was wrong with him, Wedge should have listened. Chopper thought that it was glaringly obvious that he wasn't in control. Surely a simple test would have revealed the truth. No Imperial minion could fake being Chopper. Even though Wedge worked very little with Chopper, he knew that AP-5 and Chopper had completed many missions together and should have deferred to AP-5's expertise. Even Hera trusted AP-5 when she put him in charge of the mission. Chopper believed thatWedge needed to learn to listen and trust droids more and he had a plan to make that happen. Well it was more of a prank but a prank with a lesson.Chopper studied Wedge's movements closely for two weeks. On Tuesdays and Thursdays he took part in pilot training exercises. On Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sunday's he patrolled the area around the planet and on Saturday he rested. That schedule held once he didn't have a mission. Chopper selected Tuesdays and Thursdays for his lesson. He called it 'Chopper's Lessons on Trusting a Droid'.Wedge climbed into his fighter and strapped himself in. He put on his helmet and initiated the start-up procedure. A hologram of AP-5 appeared on his console."Welcome to Chopper's Lessons on Trusting a Droid," the bland mechanical voice said."What?" Wedge said staring at the console. He ignored what the hologram was saying and tried the start-up procedure again. His fighter did not start. All around him his friends were slowly taking off but he was still grounded. He tried to turn on his radio to get in touch with base communications to yell at Chopper for whatever stupid prank he was pulling but that wasn't functioning either. He then decided to try and get out of the cockpit and search for the irritating little droid himself but he couldn't get that open either. He banged on the glass in frustration but there was no one around his fighter. All of the base personnel had mysteriously disappeared.He glared angrily at the hologram, "Chopper when I get my hands on you, you'll be lucky if you can still function!"The hologram kept talking and he continued to ignore the hologram. He was trying to remember how to override the controls in his cockpit. The radio crackled to life and Wedge thought he could get help but Chopper's beeps came through the speakers. The stupid droid said he had to listen to the hologram if he wanted to catch up to his training team because at the moment they thought he was sleeping.Wedge focused on the hologram."Good day Lieutenant Achilles, glad you're finally listening. To start your fighter please initiate the start-up sequence on my command, 3," Wedge rolled his eyes, this hologram couldn't be serious. "2," Wedge crossed his hands stubbornly in front of his chest. He was not letting some stupid hologram take advantage of him. "1, start."Wedge didn't move."Lieutenant Achilles you did not engage the start-up sequence," the hologram said."I realise that. I am a trained pilot. I don't need some hologram telling me what I already know," Wedge protested. The whole thing was a stupid prank by Chopper."Let's start again. 3,2,1, start," the bland robotic voice said again. Wedge didn't move. "I see the simple instruction is still alluding you," the voice said and this time it sounded like AP-5 and not a pre-programmed hologram."Listen here AP-5," Wedge started but AP-5 cut him off."Your team is waiting for you. Shall I tell them that you are having difficulty starting your fighter?""No don't tell them anything," Wedge said. His team didn't need to know that two droids got the better of him."From the beginning then, 3,2,1 start."This time Wedge started the fighter when AP-5 instructed and it came to life. The hologram disappeared and everything returned to normal. The radio came to life with members of his team was debating what was taking him so long. He radioed to them that he finally sorted out the issue and caught up to them quickly. When he returned to base he couldn't find a single sign of either droid. He soon got pulled into a prep meeting for a mission he would be included on the next day. It wasn't until he got into the cockpit on Thursday morning for training and was again greeted with, "Welcome to Chopper's Lessons on Trusting a Droid," did he remember that he was supposed to dismantle two droids.
10478145	Its a comfort thing	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": null, "Characters": "Nanami Chiaki, Komaeda Nagito, Hinata Hajime, Sonia Nevermind, Souda Kazuichi, Tanaka Gundam", "Fandom": "Super Dangan Ronpa 2", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Not Rated", "author": "by Vampire_goth_girl", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-28T00:00:00", "words": "589", "Additional Tags": "class trial, This is kinda fluff", "Relationship": "Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito/Nanami Chiaki", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": "F/M, M/M, Multi", "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	With that gundham tanaka left the world ,as everyone's eyes avoided each other the clear sobbing of Sonia was heard Souda tried comforting her but to no avail How many was that now ,9 people ...9 of their friends who have died or fallen victim to this game How many more would die he had to wonder ,his eyes seeked out the only two who meant a thing to him Chiakis eyes were down cast and brimming with tears ,hinata seemed to be seeking out the others eyes almost desperately like he was searching for something ..maybe a reason for why this happened or an excuse that it wasn't real Komaeda was sure his own worthless face looked how others described as neutral and yet he felt it deep in his heart the feeling of hate ,despair ,sadness and a slowly growing hopeHate at this game Despair over people's actions Sadness from those they have lost But an ever growing hope that became more outstanding with each passing moment in this game It was imbedded in every new body ,every kill to fall upon monokumas list ,every cross on a missing face It was the key to defeating this game and yet he doubted it was worth it as he watched the tears finally streak down Chiakis soft faceHe watched as hinata made his way over and without realising it he too had joined them Although he was useless trash that could offer no comfort in such a situation he still sent her a lopsided smile in hopes it would reignite her own hope She just threw her arms around him and sobbed into his chest ,smiling he softly returned her hug looking at hinata who watched on It wasn't long before he pulled him into the hug too though ,maybe this is what they needed right nowMaybe even trash like him could do even this Offer comfort to those who loved him for some unknown reason ,offer them support back because he to in turn loved them It took a while before Chiakis sobbing calmed down and all that remained were soft sniffles ,tear drops staining her cheeks She pulled away along with hinata as he released his light grip on them his soft smile never falling from his features even as he reached out and ever so lightly brushed away her remaining tears He offered her a more real smile and this time she smiled back hinata joining in as he softly embraced her from behind "Come on lets go get some food, I'm hungry" that weak whisper came from Chiaki who was trying with all her might to stay positive They would make it out of this together ,they had to after all she had hope and if it failed her she had both hinatas and komaedas hope to restore her own She snuggled back into hinatas chest for only a moment before realeasing one of komaedas hands opting to take one of hinatas free ones in her own Hinata smiled softly at the exchanged of silent words between them, it was a soft comfort and just like that they allowed Chiaki to lead them from the smell of death in the trial room out into the warm tropical breeze They breathed in the light air around them letting all that had happened before them go ,with that there hearts felt just a little less heavy as they continued making their way towards the diner hand in hand an unbreakable bond connected them
10476585	Mac and Denniss Last	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Dennis Reynolds, Mac (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia), Dee Reynolds, Charlie Kelly, Frank Reynolds, lots of one-off random characters", "Fandom": "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by porterville", "chapters": "14/14", "completed": "2017-04-10", "published": "2017-03-28T00:00:00", "words": "18,570", "Additional Tags": "Dysfunctional Relationships, Established Relationship, Angst, Fluff, angsty hand holding, failed actor mac, smut author dennis", "Relationship": "Mac/Dennis Reynolds", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Present Day Run away, like it’s simple, like it’s right. These days, Mac found it pretty easy to imagine the rest of his life going like this. It was the kind of easiness that came with resigned powerlessness, but it was better than struggling. It’s not like he wasn’t strong enough to keep fighting. Truthfully, he was just tired. So instead of arguing, he spent every day at Paddy’s. It used to make him happy, but now it just reminded him physically of how things used to be. Thank god for Dee and Charlie. Dee, who had grown on him slowly and gradually like moss, and Charlie, who he’d never be able to get rid of. He found comfort in their routines, choosing to wile away the day with them here than be anywhere else.Until Dennis crashed through the door one day. Although they still lived together, and even slept in the same bed, he hadn’t seen him here in months. Dee bristled at his presence, leaning away from him, and Charlie looked like a bird ready to take flight. Dennis walked with purpose towards them, but stopped short when he saw Mac.He tried to conjure up something nonchalant to say. “Hey.”“Hey,” Dennis said back, then turned away. “Dee, I want my shares back.”“What?” Dee yelped. “No!”“Dee, now’s not the time to be a bitch!”Dee laughed at his mounting anger. “You want your shares so bad? Too bad, they’re mine! Go buy your own bar!”Dennis’s hands shook, his eyes darted around the room - Mac knew he was about to start freaking out. He even made brief eye contact with Mac, who looked uselessly back at him. What could he do? Maybe if he had given Mac his shares all those years ago instead of Dee, he could help him out.He glared at the three of them, but Mac felt his scorching eyes especially keenly. “You’re all useless idiots,” he said through his teeth. He turned to leave, and that’s when Mac suddenly remembered that he had legs.“Dennis!” Mac leaned against the front door, blocking him from exiting. “Where’re you going?”Dennis breathed out harshly through his nose. “I’m going back to our apartment to work on my memoir.”“Oh.” Mac knew he was being challenged, but he didn’t know what he could possibly give Dennis. He wished he could wipe his memory of the past few years and pretend they were fine. He wished he could take his hand and kiss him without it feeling strange. He wished he could make eye contact with him without feeling like he would catch on fire. “Do you need me to pick up anything on the way home?”Some of Dennis’s anger dissolved, but it wasn’t replaced with anything Mac could discern. “Get out of my way.”Mac slid to the side, and Dennis was gone. The remaining members of the gang all seemed to deflate with relief, but he knew they weren’t going to talk about this. It was more comforting to pretend.—When Mac was sixteen, he became the main drug dealer of the school after he told on the other main drug dealer. He never quite followed in his dad’s footsteps, because he never got up to dealing anything harder than pills, but one day his snitching came back to bite him. The previous main drug dealer’s cronies cornered him one day after school, each with a bat or a club, and beat the everloving shit out of him. It crossed his mind there that he might actually die, with nothing to show for it but a few hundred bucks and an embarrassing nickname.He never wanted to be that afraid again, but he felt it creeping up on him as he walked to the apartment that night. It was less of a visceral fear and more of a learned helplessness that had reached its peak, but the intensity still settled in his chest. He had to grin and bear it, though. What was the alternative?His heart drummed as he pushed open the door. He stopped in his tracks. “Holy shit, did we get robbed?” He shrugged off his coat and walked room to room. Everything but the furniture was gone, including Dennis. He should still be home, right? He started to dial 9-1-1 in a blind panic, and that’s when he saw the note.An envelope, held to the fridge by a magnet, that plainly read Mac on the cover. His heart sunk to his knees, but didn’t stop its breakneck speed. With shaking hands, he read the letter.—“No!” Mac yelled into the phone. “He said he only took his shit but he took half my shit too!”Charlie screeched back, “It’s three goddamn o’clock in the morning-““Is he there? Did he go to your apartment?”“No, dude!” Charlie said through a yawn. “Call me in the morning, man!”“Fine, dick!” He took a long swig of beer, letting the empty bottle smash on the floor, and hung up. He immediately dialed Frank’s number.“What the shit do you want?” Frank yelled, and he heard an angry squawk from Charlie in the background.“Is Dennis there?” Mac asked, letting more of the desperation creep into his voice. Hell, it was just Frank. Instead of answering, though, he hung up.Mac felt the anger rapidly leaving without something to yell at, and as it went he felt something else welling up in his chest. He huffed as he realized he’d have to call Dee, the last number in his phone.She picked up after the third ring on the second call. “What?”His breath hitched and he couldn’t talk.“Is anyone there? Goddammit, Mac-““Dennis is gone,” he said. It wasn’t really crying in front of her if she was just on the phone, right?“Gone?” There was a soft edge to her voice. “Gone how?”“I don’t know where he is but- I- I don’t think he’s coming back.” He sat down on the couch, suddenly too tired to stand and talk at the same time. He wanted to run away, but he had nowhere to go. He wanted to break all of Dennis’s shit, but the only thing left was the letter. Most of all, he wanted Dennis to come back and lie to him some more. Instead, he stayed there on that couch and held the phone to his ear, waiting for his twin to talk.“He can’t just leave,” Dee said incredulously.Mac found a bit of energy to go get another beer, but he stopped and leaned against the fridge. “He’s gone.”Dee sighed on the other end, and in the silence he was acutely reminded that Dee cared about Dennis just as much if not more than Mac. She stayed on the line. As long as that dial tone didn’t come, Mac thought, then he wasn’t really alone. “Do you wanna come stay on my couch or something?” Dee asked. He stopped short, catching a glance of their- of his bed through the doorway. His stomach gave an uncomfortable lurch he assumed was due to all the beer. He mumbled something non-binding into the phone. “Just don’t wake me up.” The call ended, and Mac started to gather his things. Dennis may have been a pretty good bulldozer but nothing would stop Mac from picking through the rubble. After one last look, he closed the door. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Five Years Ago You, breaking the circle. You, taking the light. You, you are the story I should write. Dennis had always been an appreciator of beauty. Nine times out of ten, the object he appreciated was himself. Why shouldn’t he? He worked hard to maintain every aspect of himself. Looking into the mirror and being satisfied was the best feeling in the world, no matter how little it seemed to happen to him. If he went through the motions it would be real eventually. Fake it ’til you make was a real thing, right? So, he spent time on his hair and makeup, he chose clothing deliberately, and he lingered in mirrors to give himself seductive glances.Everything he tried was put to shame by Mac. Ever since he met the guy, Mac stared at him. He used to be annoyed by it. It took him a while to figure out exactly why he would look away when Dennis noticed. Mac was in love with him. And his gaze made Dennis feel the way he always wanted to feel - safe instead of helpless, wanted instead of ignored, enough instead of more than enough.He kept all that inside for the time being, however. He was fine with just fooling around with Mac. It was convenient enough; they had their own apartment back so they had more than enough privacy. Plus, he was guaranteed not to get barged in on by Mac if he was having sex with Mac. The problem was that they were taking ages to get to anything besides hand stuff. Mac was nothing if not a hypocrite, but he (and Dennis) were fresh out of the closet, so he figured he’d wait a little while longer before making fun of him.“Let’s have sex tonight.” Oh. Never mind. Mac was poking his head out from behind the shower curtain, nonchalant and soapy-haired.Dennis let his toothbrush fall into the sink. “Have you ever had sex with a guy?”Mac disappeared back into the shower. “I got a couple hand jobs at The Rainbow.”Dennis went back to brushing. “That doesn’t count,” he said through a mouthful of toothpaste. “Have you ever done anything past what we’ve done together?”There was a pause. “No.”Dennis chuckled. "Baby, it’s gonna blow your tits off.”—He made Mac wait for him while he finished the necessary parts of his evening routine. He tried to just do the bare minimum and get on with it - Mac wouldn’t appreciate the extra attention to detail - but he stayed in the bathroom for a long time making sure every inch of his body was up to snuff. As satisfied as he could be, he made his way to the bedroom.Mac was sitting on top of the covers, back ramrod straight, hands fidgeting in his lap. His hair was still a little wet. “Hey.”Dennis laughed. “You doin’ alright there, bro?”Mac sprung up and kissed him. They both had a little difficulty with the technique, smiling through it, but soon enough they were horizontal on the bed. Mac was straddling him and trailing kisses from his mouth to his neck. This was usually where he stopped, but then he sat up straight to take his shirt off. “You’re bottoming, right?”Dennis rocketed right out of the moment. “Wh- you just assume I’m gonna be the bottom?”“Well, c’mon, Den,” Mac said, unzipping his pants.“First of all, we definitely should’ve talked about this beforehand,” Dennis said, trying to match Mac’s pace at undressing. “And second of all, yes, but don’t you dare make a big deal out of it.”“I’ll try,” Mac said, returning to his neck, and now there was nothing to separate them. Dennis found himself focusing on Mac’s arms around him. He’d been going to the gym more than usual lately, he’d noticed, and his embrace felt protective and strong. He definitely wasn’t focusing on his heart hammering in his chest, or the fact that Mac seemed way less nervous than he was expecting him to be.Mac stopped and retreated a few inches. “What?” Dennis said, not able to identify the look on Mac’s face.“Nothing, it’s just…” He laughed. “I can’t believe this is actually happening.”He grabbed Mac by the back of the head and kissed him hard. They crashed into each other, and Mac gave a little yelp of either pain or surprise. Usually Dennis didn’t like kissing during sex, but this time it gave him something to put some of this extra energy into. He threw himself into it, wrapped his arms around Mac’s back as he let him tuck his head back into his shoulder. Mac was talking, mumbling, saying Dennis’s name, and Dennis fell into a comfortable, familiar rhythm. All things considered, he could see himself keeping this thing they had going on for a while longer, Mac was pretty good-“I love you.” The words being groaned into his ear hit him like a sucker punch, and he shoved Mac away. Everything seemed to stop; it was like hitting pause on one of his sex tapes except it was happening to him in the moment.Mac was absolutely startled. His hair was flopped over onto his forehead, eyes wide, cheeks flushed. “What? What’s wrong? Was that you coming?”“No-“ Dennis started, then looked wildly around the room for some sort of explanation. “No, it’s cool, it’s fine.”Mac looked as if he was being pulled in twelve different directions. “Are you okay? Is this okay for you?”“Yeah, yeah, it’s whatever,” Dennis said, grabbing Mac roughly by the shoulders and pulling him back down.“Are you sure?”“Yes, goddammit,” Dennis hissed, grinding against him. Mac still looked a little thrown, but he complied. Dennis’s heart was still pounding, and he tried to use Mac’s body weight to suffocate the feeling. Maybe fifty pounds ago he could’ve done it, but it was no use now. The physical sensation wasn’t scrambling his brain like it usually did; it was like a lightning bolt that took a detour through his chest and his heart wasn’t big enough to hold the electricity.He didn’t trust whatever his face was doing, so he shoved Mac’s head back onto his shoulder. For the love of God, he said to himself, don’t give him a reason to stop. He clenched his jaw, and his grip on Mac’s shoulders was viselike, he felt like everything he was made of was collapsing-“It’s okay.” Mac’s voice was soft in his ear this time. “I’m here. It’s okay.” He kept talking, and Dennis forced himself to focus on the words. Slowly but surely, he came back into himself and his heart felt full in an entirely new way. He was a lightning rod instead of burnt up ground.Then, it was over. Mac rolled off him and they laid next to each other. Dennis looked over at him tentatively. He was staring up at the ceiling, wide-eyed, and a big goofy grin spreading across his features. Dennis felt a smile of his own, and no urge to jump out the window.“That was magical,” Mac gushed, his gaze turning to Dennis. “Do you-“ He stopped short, smile wiped from his face. “Dennis, you’re crying.”Dennis brought his hand to his face and it came away wet. It was very possible he was just sweating, but Mac was still looking at him with those big doe eyes. Dennis had to think of something to say before he started asking questions because, honestly, he felt amazing. He took Mac’s hand in his own and said, “That was perfect.”Mac’s face returned to the smile and he kissed Dennis again. He let Mac keep it light this time, and scooted closer to him when they broke apart. They laid there in companionable silence, and it didn’t take long for Mac to fall asleep. Dennis didn’t bemoan being stuck in bed with him like this, intertwined together. He watched his chest rise and fall. “I love you, too,” Dennis breathed. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Three Months Ago You, and you, and nothing but you! Miles and piles of you, pushing through windows and bursting through walls, en route to the sky… And I… The competing smells of his two colognes were giving him a headache. So much for that plan. He’d have to win Dennis’s favor some other way. That is, if Dennis decided to show up.The fact that Mac had to get a table by himself and wait was already a bad sign; usually Dennis needed to have control over where exactly they sat. He was at what Dennis had once described as the worst table in the restaurant, even after slipping a whole fiver into the waiter’s pocket. He wasn’t sure if everyone was actually staring at him, but he was self-conscious anyway. Who came to Guigino’s alone?Finally, mercifully, he spotted Dennis walking towards him. He wore a suit and tie, but looked bedraggled. They both did these days, but Dennis was beginning to wear his 45 years around his eyes. Mac made a mental note that he could use that against him if he decided to fight dirty. Dennis stripped off his jacket and sat down heavily. “Alright, I’m here, you can stop texting me.”“You’re late,” Mac said coolly.“Whatever it is I’m late for better be worth my while.” He loosened his tie and made callous eye contact.Mac rolled his eyes. “Dude, you’re not even trying. This isn’t what all those articles said to do.” He stretched his lips into a tight grimace. “Look at me smiling. I’m happy to see you. Can you just try for me?”“Oh, come on, stop acting like you’re the relationship guru,” Dennis snapped. “You’re doing regional theatre and I’m writing books about-““About banging,” Mac said. “Dennis, don’t do this.”“I got the contract, by the way.” Dennis coasted along the conversation, and he didn’t seem to care if Mac could keep up or not. “I know you don’t care, but I got a three book deal. I’m still debating wether to include you or not, but just know there’ll be books.”Mac shook his head and stared down at his napkin, clenching his fists under the tablecloth. He told himself, wait, just wait, just deal with the worst of it and everything will be fine. It always was. “Listen, Dennis, I know you’re not excited to see me play a tree, but the guy playing Tin Man got mono, and so now you’ll get to see me do more than throw apples-“ Dennis was staring at him with something other than disdain, and Mac stopped. Shit, he actually looked a little guilty. Mac set his jaw. “What?”“I can’t stay,” he said. “Me and the guys have to work out the details, and I said I’d meet them in Atlantic City.”Mac chewed the inside of his lip. Something was tightening inside his chest, suffocating any residual warm feeling he would’ve had just from Dennis bothering to show up. Quietly, forcefully, he said, “And you didn’t think to check in with me?” There was a horrible silence where he could feel actual remorse radiating off Dennis, but it wasn’t hitting him in the same spot it used to.“No, I didn’t,” Dennis said. “Because I’m a grown man who shouldn’t have to ‘check in’ with anyone.”Mac was surprised the point of air between them didn’t catch on fire. He wasn’t sure how long they stayed like this, but their silence was broken by a waiter. “Okay, I’ve got two rum and cokes for your gentlemen,” he said, setting down a bubbly glass before both of them“Oh, good, you ordered my drink for me,” Dennis said, voice dripping with malice. “Didn’t think to check in and see what I actually wanted?”Mac grabbed his glass and splashed the contents into Dennis’s face. His reaction was instantaneous, splashing Mac with his fair share of rum and coke and then throwing the empty glass at him, which hit the wall and shattered. They were on each other in seconds as the waiter backed up quickly. Mac had planted himself on top of Dennis; Dennis tried to choke him while Mac punched him again and again with varying accuracy. “You’re making a scene!” Dennis shouted.“You look like an old bitch!” Mac yelled back. There were hands on his shoulders, pulling him back and onto his feet. He wheeled around and the waiter was in his face, ordering him to leave.“Fuck you, Dennis!” If every eye in the restaurant wasn’t on him already, it was now as he stalked out the door with Dennis hot on his heels. Once they were outside, he faced him and cut across anything he could’ve had to say. “You could stay! You could see my show! You could do anything to make this better but you’re still choosing literally anything over me!”“I have to go, Mac, I have no choice-!”“Yes, you do!” Mac had been angry since the day he was born, but most of the time he was the one in charge of the feeling. This anger was uncontrollable, rare, and hopefully landed on Dennis and got some sort of reaction out of him. Dennis betrayed nothing but a few extra creases around his eyes. The temptation to punch him again was great but Mac roughly ran his hands through his hair instead, hoping Dennis appreciated how hard he was trying but knowing he didn’t. “You can stay with me instead of- of seeing whoever you’re fucking on the side-““You’re crazy-““No I’m not!” Mac’s voice was breaking but the words were stronger than his body. “You’re a selfish asshole, Dennis! You can’t care about anything thats not you or your stupid book!”“If you keep screaming like this then you’re gonna get the cops called on you.” How could he be so calm? Maybe he didn’t have feelings.Mac laughed, a last ditch effort to keep from crying. He probably looked like a goddamned lunatic, but he felt like a goddamned lunatic. “I love you,” he spat, and Dennis flinched. “A-and you can’t do anything but stand there and stare at me. Dennis, I’ll never understand you, but I still love you.” He’d lost whatever little restraint he’d started with. Guigino’s could’ve exploded and he wouldn’t have noticed; his entire world had shrunk to Dennis and he was powerless to escape his orbit.“I have to catch my bus.”Whatever Mac was expecting - well, he had to be honest, this was exactly what he was expecting. The anger was gone and there was nothing to protect him from burning up. He let out a shaky huff, then ripped off his wedding band and aimed for the back of Dennis’s head. He stopped short, clutching the cold metal in his fist.“Goddammit,” he choked. He slipped the ring into his pocket and started the long walk back to their apartment. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Four Years Ago My heart’s been stolen, my ego’s swollen, I just keep rollin’ along! “It’s refreshing, honestly! I’m just glad it’s all out in the open and we can talk about it-“ Charlie started, leaning over the bar casually.Dee cut him off. “No, I don’t wanna talk about my brother’s sex life anymore!” She turned to Mac pointedly. “I don’t care who’s the top and who’s the bottom!”Mac put his hands up defensively. “I just want there to be no misunderstandings! I want you to take one look at me and think, ‘that guy’s a top!’”Dennis smacked him in the shoulder. “Stop!” He was starting to get a bit of a headache, and wondered if this counted as an office romance he could forbid everyone from talking about. Usually, he had no problem discussing his sexual exploits in great detail, but… eh, something about the object of his desires standing right next to him took the magic out of it. That, and the fact that the object of his desires thought it was important to announce that he was getting it up the ass on the regular. “Okay, everyone, settle down! Yes, Mac and I are banging.” Dee rolled her eyes and Mac smiled proudly. “But besides that, nothing has changed. We all still work together, the gang’s still together, everything’s going to go on exactly as it always has.”The phone rang. Charlie answered before anyone else could grab it. “Paddy’s Pub.” His eyebrows raised, and kept getting higher as whoever it was spoke. “Oh. Wow. Alright, hold on.” He took the phone off his ear, then turned to Dennis. “Someone wants to publish your erotic memoirs, dude.”—Dennis wasn’t sure why all five of them had to come to the Liberty Valley Publishing office, but he supposed that was just the way they did things. Dennis was struck with how smartly furnished and downright legitimate everything looked, but didn’t show it.“Holy shit!” Charlie squeaked. “This is a real office!”“I thought this was gonna be some kind of scam, but I think this could be a real thing, Dennis!” Dee’s eyes were wide, and Dennis geared up to shoot her down if she tried to glob onto this.“Of course,” Dennis said. “I wrote a real book, after all. Now, everyone make sure you look nice, this is the room.”As they walked into the office, Mac made to hold Dennis’s hand, but he stopped him abruptly. “Wait, Mac.”“What’s wrong?” he asked.“Oh, no, it’s just…” He winced. “I need these publishers to think I’m this big time ladies man, and it kind of ruins my image to have a dude cuddling up to me.”“Wh- so you’re just gonna pretend we’re not dating?” Mac whined.“No, no, we’re dating.” He patted the side of Mac’s face reassuringly. “Pretend we’re not for today, though. Just until I get everything I can out of this guy. I’ll make it up to you!” He turned and walked into the office, willing Mac’s incredulous expression to change before he followed.“Make sure to let me do all the talking,” Frank said, and Dennis made a sharp noise of protest.“I’ll let you do no such thing! I put all the work into these memoirs,” he said. “I bedded these women, I wrote those words, I spent years editing and editing and sending them off to hundreds of publishers - this is my book!”“You got no business sense.” Frank punctuated his statement with a wet belch. “I know the lingo. Five of my shell corporations are publishing houses!”“Frank, have you been eating rotten eggs?” Dee asked.Frank glared back at her, then grumbled, “Fine, Dennis, but you’re gonna screw it up on your own, mark my words!”“I think you’ll find I’m capable of navigating this on my own, Frank.”“Good, ‘cause this is a big deal,” Dee said. “This could be big for me, y’know? If my brother was a famous writer-““Dee, I will leap across these chairs and stuff my tie down your throat-““Alright, which threatening expression do you want me to hold?” Charlie piped up, presumably testing one out; he looked as if he were enjoying the smell of rotten eggs a little too much.“Charlie, I want you to sit there and say nothing and not look at the publisher,” Dennis said, waving a hand at him. “Guys, this is a very big opportunity for me!”“For your image,” Mac said quietly.“For- yeah, for my image, too,” Dennis said. “But not just that. This could really propel me upwards, where I’m meant to be. This is big for all of us, okay? Guys, I’m begging you, please get your shit together just for this meeting.”As if on cue, a man in a suit walked into the office. “Is one of you Dennis Reynolds?”Dennis smiled and got to his feet. He was about to play this guy like a goddamn guitar.—“Can you believe this?” Dennis felt lighter than he ever had before. He washed the dishes, but his head was in the clouds. “I knew it would happen for me eventually!”“This is so awesome, dude!” Mac passed him a few plates. Their celebratory dinner with the gang was over, and for once they had hosted the shit out of a party. Charlie, Dee, and Frank had left their apartment happy, and he and Mac were enjoying the peaceful bliss of a happy home. Dennis thought this might be what a couple was actually supposed to feel like. “I didn’t even know you were editing your memoirs!”“Yeah, just a little side project to keep busy,” Dennis said. “Fortune smiles upon those with talent, but I suppose I just needed a little help from an editor to let that talent shine through.”“Hell yeah,” Mac affirmed. “Dude, I can’t wait to read the chapter about our first time! I don’t wanna brag, but I was pretty goddamn erotic-““Oh,” Dennis said. “Oh boy, Mac.” He tapped his fingers on the counter as Mac looked at him expectantly. “You’re not in the book.”Mac looked stunned. “I’m not in the book?”He grimaced. “… You’re not in the book.”Mac was aghast, jaw hanging open. He’d even stopped handing him plates. “How am I not in the book?”“Dude, I finished the rewrites like a year ago,” Dennis said. “It’s nothing personal!”Mac went quiet. He did this more often than before, Dennis noticed, now that they were an actual couple. A stark contrast to the shouting and threats he’d expected before. Mac prided himself on being an arbiter, a peacekeeper, but Dennis had never seen him successfully settle any dispute. It occurred to him then that Mac was actually trying, and maybe it would do them both some good if Dennis tried back a little.“So you’re saying I’d be in the book if you’d finished it later?” He was fiddling with his hands and Dennis really wanted to say yes, but the truth was he didn’t know. Sex with Mac was great, at least better than anything he’d written about in his memoir, but he didn’t know if he wanted to unleash that experience upon the world. He’d even taken down the cameras after their first few times. Something about it felt too close to the chest, too personal.“Yeah, of course, baby,” Dennis said, pulling him in close. “Best sex I ever had, bro. If I get a sequel deal, I’ll slip you in.”Dennis planted a kiss on his forehead, and Mac looked sufficiently starry-eyed. “Alright, dude. Oh, but make sure I get to look it over first, I gotta make sure you’re writing me right. I have a very specific character to maintain.”“Whatever you say, Mac.” Dennis went back to washing dishes, smile on his face, and Mac joined him. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Two and a Half Years Ago His eyes light up, and how can I complain? Yes, he’s insane, but look what he can do. These parties never got any easier, but Mac was willing to strangle himself with a tie and drown himself in cologne any night just to hear Dennis introduce him as “my husband.” This, however, was the loudest party they’d been to so far; the flashing lights and strobing music seemed to drown out any of his thoughts. Mac couldn’t see how anyone could have fun surrounded by this bone-shaking noise and fake colors, but Dennis absolutely loved it. Whatever, it’s fine. It’s just one night. He’ll do it for him.Before approaching the bar, Dennis halted and gave him the hundredth version of his pep talk. “Now, I need you to smile when anyone talks to you. Hold my hand. Look like you’re having fun. Alright?”Mac nodded. “I know what to do, Den.” Why did Dennis get to decide everything? Maybe these publisher dudes would find Mac charming on his own. Hell, maybe he could get his own book deal.Dennis either didn’t catch his lack of enthusiasm or didn’t care, but either way he took his hand and in they went. It was even more unbearably loud the further in they ventured. Didn’t they both used to hate clubs?“Mr. Reynolds!” One of the Liberty Valley publishing guys accosted them near the bar. “How are things?”“Never better, Andy,” Dennis answered. “Hard at work on the next draft. Hopefully there’s a plan in the works for that?”“It’s a very strong possibility,” Andy said. Mac thought he looked sort of like a guy who collected novelty shot glasses. “Let me buy you and your friend a drink.”Dennis turned around as if noticing Mac for the first time. “Oh, this is my-““I’m his husband, Mac,” Mac said, shaking Andy’s hand and shooting him a winning smile.“Oh!” Andy said. “I’m sorry, I guess I didn’t expect you to be with a man, what with the book and all.”“Yes, yes, well, I’ve always thought it best to share your love with all sides of the spectrum,” Dennis answered. “Much like, uh, Freddie Mercury.”“Uh, except Freddie was a total top, and Dennis is obviously a bottom,” Mac said, wanting to make sure Andy had a clear idea of what exactly was going on here.“Um…” Andy looked a little confused. Mac looked to Dennis, who seemed mortified for some reason.“Oh!” Mac said. “You’re confused because you didn’t read about me in the book. Let me explain-““No more explanation!” Dennis ordered. “We’ll have a drink, yes, that sounds-““Dennis, Andy obviously wants to know the whole story!” he said. If Dennis was gonna drag him to these parties, he needed to let him make conversation.“No, that’s okay-““Shut up, Andy,” Mac said. “Look, bozo, the reason I’m not in the book is because he wrote it before we fell in love. But I’m totally goin’ in that sequel you were talking about, so gear up for our erotic memoir. It’s gonna blow his tits off, right Dennis?”Mac snaked an arm around Dennis’s, but it was like grabbing onto a mannequin. Dennis smiled tightly and said, “Andy, could we have a moment alone?”“Yes,” he said, and almost ran away.Dennis rounded on Mac. “From now on, don’t talk. Let me do all the talking, because obviously you’re unable to conduct yourself successfully in a place like this.”“Excuse me, Dennis!” Mac said, eyebrows knitted in equal parts confusion and frustration. “I thought I was doing what you wanted!”Dennis picked the bridge of his nose. “Okay, I’m gonna go mingle. You’re free to join me, but only if you don’t say shit like that anymore. If not, I’ll meet you at the car when the party’s over. Okay?”Dennis was gone without giving Mac a chance to answer. Whatever, fine. He was perfectly okay running up Dennis’s tab instead of talking to all these stuffed shirts. He planted himself on a bar stool and turned to the bartender. “I’ll take a beer.”The bartender passed him a drink. “D’you think there will be a sequel?” he asked. “That first book was amazing.”Mac glared at him. Nobody at these parties was ever interested in what he had to say unless it was about Dennis. “I dunno, man. It all depends on me, I think. I’m totally his muse.”“You’re his muse?” He chuckled. “Never heard of you.”Something very bitter rose up in his chest and he glared at the bartender. “Get me another beer, asshole!”It was a good couple of hours before he left that barstool. It was only when he retreated to the bathroom to rid himself of his umpteenth beer of the evening that he heard a familiar retching.He knocked on the only closed stall door. “Dennis? Is that you?”“Mac?” Gaspy, thick, and unmistakably Dennis. Mac’s heart rate spiked and he wrestled with the door, only to find it unlocked.Dennis was on the ground, bent over the toilet. Mac wasn’t sure if it was the obnoxious lights - why would they need those in the bathroom? - but he looked paler than he ever thought was possible. His hair was sweaty and his skin clammy, knuckles paper white where he gripped the rim of the seat. His eyes, locked with Mac’s, were red and, there was no other word for it, scary. He didn’t want to look at him like this.He flung himself down to Dennis’s level. “What-?”“Took some pills,” Dennis mumbled taking deep breaths as he spoke. “I didn’t think-“ He gagged, and Mac ghosted a hand towards him. “I’ve done it before, I didn’t-“His words were cut off with whatever he’d eaten that night, and Mac had to suppress a gag of his own. He put a hand on Dennis’s back, but Dennis elbowed him off.“Don’t- I don’t need-““Dennis, we have to go to the hospital!” Mac was barreling towards an all-consuming panic. “You don’t know if y-““No!” Dennis yelled, resting his forehead against the porcelain. He was sobbing, his body shaking and sweating. “I don’t- I don’t want this!”This time, he didn’t try to shake Mac off when he pulled him into a tight embrace. Mac rubbed circles into his back, and tried to provide a little cushion from the unforgiving tiles. He would rather Dennis puke down the back of his shirt than drown in it on the floor. “You’re gonna be fine, you’re gonna be fine, you’re-““Y’know-“ Dennis was mumbling into his shoulder, and Mac fleetingly thought this was the longest Dennis had let him hold him in a while. He might’ve held on a bit tighter. “I wanted to be a veterinarian.”“I remember.” He was still talking, muffled, and Mac responded to what he could catch. “It’s okay, it’s okay. Maybe we should go to the hospital.”Dennis pulled away and leaned against the opposite wall of the stall. He looked fucking rough still. The music was quieter in the bathroom, but Mac could still feel the bass in his chest and it was no wonder Dennis was throwing up, he felt like it too. He didn't know what kind of pills Dennis possible could have taken, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to get Dennis to the hospital against his will.“I’m sorry for yelling at you before.” This was familiar; Dennis only apologized when he was unhinged, words spilling out along with the tears. “I can’t fix this. I can’t do this.” Mac didn’t know what to say. He was sinking and Dennis was either a lifeline or an anchor, and he couldn’t tell which until he grabbed onto him.He did anyway. Dennis’s arms wrapped around him, shaking and heaving. “I hate this, I hate this,” he droned.Mac didn’t know which thing. “So do I.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Three and a Half Years Ago Don’t you think that now’s a good time to be the ambitious freak you are? Say goodbye to wiping ashtrays at the bar! Dennis barreled into the bar. Mac and Charlie were behind the counter singing something from Beauty and the Beast, Dee was drinking a beer and making fun of them, and Frank was nowhere to be found. Dennis slammed a stack of papers down on the counter and they all looked up at him. “Everyone listen up! I have an announcement to make!”Mac slammed a hand on the counter. “You heard him, everyone! Dennis has an-“ he stopped and turned. “Wait, you have an announcement?”Dennis waited until they were all paying sufficient attention. “I quit the bar.”A wave of confusion hit all three of them, and it was Charlie who spoke up. “You quit the bar?”“You can’t just quit!” Dee said shrilly. “You won’t be able to pay your rent, and you’re not moving back in with me!”“That’s where you’re wrong,” Dennis said, flipping through his stack of paper. “My first royalty check is in. It’s enough to support me- hell, it’s enough to support all five of us! Although, I won’t be,” he clarified. “So, I quit the bar. I’m gonna be a writer.”“Holy shit!” Mac was flipping through the papers. “Everyone’s super into your book, dude! These reviews are great!”“They are great, Mac, because my book is great.” He smirked, and felt like he was floating a couple inches above the rest of them. “Remember what I said about propelling upwards?”“I can’t believe people actually read this shit,” Dee said, thumbing though a couple of the papers.“Believe it sis. And maybe change your tone, because I’m giving you my shares.”Dee’s face lit up like a Christmas tree, and Charlie and Mac made loud protesting noises.“What?” Mac yelled.“Objection! Objection!” Charlie shrieked.“Ohhhh shit! It’s about time!” Dee yelled.“What the hell, Dennis?” Mac said.He shrugged. “I’d rather had a Reynolds in charge of this place once Frank croaks,” he said. “Don’t fight this, guys! I’m firing on all cylinders, and my decisions all seem to be working lately, so just go with it, alright?”“And also, my business savvy and Kennedy bone structure, right, Dennis?” Dee asked, smirking at the angry Mac and Charlie.“Yeah, sure.” Dennis gathered his papers and smiled at them one last time. “Change is good, guys, you’ll realize that eventually. I’ve gotta go negotiate pay.”He turned and walked out, hearing Charlie yell “Bastard!” before he closed the door.—“C’mon, dude, we practiced for hours,” Dennis said. “There’s no way you didn’t get something.”“They’re calling today,” Mac said, flinging himself dramatically onto their fancy new couch. “Any minute!”“Well, at least you’ve got the late shift at the bar, that’ll take your mind off things if you don’t get the part,” Dennis offered. “Which you will, I promise. If you don’t, just TP their theatre and try out somewhere else.”“I’m just gonna call them.” His phone was out. “I’ll call them and tell them that if I don’t get the part then I’ll bash ‘em to pieces-““Mac, no,” Dennis said. “Listen, hey-“ He sat down next to Mac, shoving his legs off the cushions. “Lemme tell you a quick story. To get your mind off things.”“Oh, come on, dude-“He cleared his throat loudly and dropped Mac’s phone on the coffee table. “Once upon a time, there was this kid. He was really tough. One tough kid. He smoked a lot of weed, but that didn’t make him any less tough. In fact, it was through this weed that he met another kid, a very handsome and charming kid-““This is boring as shit, bro,” Mac interrupted.“The tough kid and the handsome kid were inseparable from then on out,” Dennis continued. “But even though a lot of other people could tell how inseparable they were, they still didn’t realize it themselves.” Mac was quiet now. “The tough kid eventually grew up into a really… uh, badass man. This man was so badass, he couldn’t admit to himself that he was afraid of a few things. One thing he was especially afraid of was that he would live his whole life without being totally honest with himself about what he wanted to do with his life.”“Then what happened?”“Then his friends found his dildo bike and tried to force him to come out of the closet,” Dennis said. “But even though that happened, the badass man still made the decision to stay out on his own. It wasn’t too late for him, and he got what he wanted because he was brave enough to embrace it, even if it was scary.” Dennis smiled and opened his hands wide. “And he and the handsome guy lived happily ever after.”Mac nodded. “That was a really nice story, Den,” he said. “Now, if we can get back to my situation-““Wh- that was about you!” Dennis hollered.“That was about me?” Mac, to Dennis’s disbelief, was shocked. “I don’t have a dildo bike-““Oh, come on, again with this?”“The Ass-Pounder 4000 is an exercise apparatus-“A loud buzzing brought their attention to the coffee table. Mac’s phone was ringing. He and Dennis locked eyes, and Dennis gave him a look that hopefully said, answer the phone, badass.“Hello? Yeah, it’s Mac.” He paused. After a second, his face lit up, and Dennis felt himself smile as well. “Yeah! No- yeah, that’s great! Awesome! Thanks, bro!” He hung up. “I’m a fork!”Dennis felt like the metaphorical car he was in had slammed on the brakes and he was still barreling forward. “A fork?” The ecstatic look on Mac’s face was unwavering, so Dennis backpedaled a bit. “That’s… fantastic!”“Not only that, I’m also the understudy for Gaston!”“You’re not disappointed, then?” Dennis asked.“Dude, why would I be disappointed? There’s just one person between me and the good role!” Mac explained, on his feet. “I’ll bide my time as a fork if that’s what I have to do. I’ll do whatever I need to!”Dennis raised an eyebrow. “You realize you can’t harm the guy playing Gaston, or do anything illegal, without getting kicked out of the show?”“Whatever, dude,” Mac said. “This is great!” He pulled Dennis to his feet and kissed him all in one motion, and Dennis’s brain boggled just a bit. How could he be disappointed when Mac was so happy?“Hey, how about we go out and celebrate tonight?” Dennis suggested. “How’s Dave and Buster’s sound?”“Perfect!” Mac crossed the apartment at once, pulling on his coat. “I could go for some steak and ski-ball.”Dennis stepped into his shoes, but before they left, Dennis felt something pull at his chest. He took Mac’s hand. “Hey… have I said lately that I, uh, love you?” The words seemed to fall from his lips and struggle to escape them at the same time.Mac whirled around. “No,” he said. They stared at each other for a minute.“Well, I do,” Dennis said. “C’mon, let’s get going.”Mac smiled and mercifully didn’t push him any further. “Yeah, let’s go.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Three Years Ago Look at me, look at him, son of a bitch, I guess I’m doing something right! His prongs weren’t sharp enough, he thought, but other than that Mac was pretty sure he was the hottest fork in the whole company. They may have made him cover up his tattoos with sticky makeup, but the sleeveless costume more than made up for it. Mac was flexing in the mirror when a spoon named Tyler appeared beside him. “Okay, Mac, tonight when we cross each other during ‘Be Our Guest,” all you have to do is run by me. Don’t try to Dirty Dancing me again.”“You just don’t appreciate improv, bro.”“Whatever.” Tyler was one of the numerous twinks in the cutlery ensemble that made Mac feel like a bear. “So, got anyone special in the audience tonight?”Mac’s heart jumped into his throat and he was almost pissed at Tyler for reminding him. “Yeah, all my friends from the bar are here. And my husband.” He loved the way that new word felt in his mouth.“Ohhh, the famous author?” Tyler smiled, eyebrows raised knowingly. “You think he’d sign my book?”“Definitely.” Mac was just beginning to try stretching for the second time in his life when someone else appeared in the mirror behind him.“Mac!” It was their director, and he had a bundle of fabric clenched in his fist. “Josh sprained his ankle.” He shoved the fabric at Mac’s chest.“What?” He looked down at what he realized was a red tunic and black tights.“Suit up, Gaston!” The director rushed away, shouting, “Ten minutes, everyone!”“Oh, shit!” Mac’s head was spinning as he ripped off the fork costume, trying to think of a way to text Dennis and scrub off his silver face paint at the same time. He settled on texting him as they took places in the wings, while hopping from foot to foot and trying not to sweat too much. He was prepared enough, he told himself; being an understudy meant he had to be at the Gaston rehearsals and learn the lines, and he sang the songs to himself sometimes in the shower. He tried to run through the entire show in his head as he typed out his message: “I’m Gaston, bitch!!! Get ready to hide a boner!”The short, stout dude playing Lafou was next to him suddenly, handing him a prop gun. “You know the blocking, right?”“I’ll be fine!” He yelled over the overture, and took a few deep breaths.“But you know the blocking, right?”Then it was their turn to go on. Everything was coming together, Mac thought. What were the odds? He’d have to find Josh after the show to sign his cast as thanks.The first act commenced, and Lafou only shot him two or three out-of-character glares. He was convincing in pretending he was attracted to Belle (he’d been perfecting that act his whole life), and goddamn Gaston did a lot of singing, but he did his best to sing the notes in the right order.Finally, the intermission. Mac may have been giving the best goddamned Gaston performance South Philadelphia had ever seen, but he was still sweating enough to drown a baby rhinoceros. He only paused on his way to the water fountain to return Tyler’s smile and check his phone. Dee had texted him “YOU SON OF A BITCH” and Charlie had sent him a jumble of thumbs up and clapping emojis. He smiled giddily, but paused at the lack of texts from Dennis. OH well, he must’ve wanted to congratulate him in person. He was horrible at texting, he reminded himself.He really had to bust out his acting chops in the second act. Everyone clapped when Gaston’s death scene came along, so he could only assume he nailed it. The same went for his curtain call; he almost did a backflip to really get the crowd going but decided against it at the last minute.He barreled out the stage door and almost collided with Charlie. “You didn’t tell us you were playing Gaston, dude!” Dee and Frank followed close behind, and Mac was surprised to see them smiling, too. Mac only sensed a bit of jealousy from Dee and Frank seemed happy despite the production being fully clothed.“I gotta say, Mac, that was pretty good!” Dee said. “What happened? Did you poison the real Gaston or something?”“No, no, guys! God broke his leg for me because He knew it was important to me!” Mac ignored their collective groan. “He knew you guys were all coming tonight, so-“ He stopped short. “Where’s Dennis?”Dee and Charlie looked at each other with something like pity, and Frank said, “The big shot asshole got a call from the publisher right as we were leaving. He had to go take care of some shit.”Mac’s heart plummeted into his knees. He waited for any of them to offer any more information, but they didn’t. “What shit did the have to take care of?”Frank shrugged. “He told me he was gonna call you.”Mac, jaw hanging open and an unpleasant buzzing behind his eyes, took out his phone. No new notifications, just the texts Charlie and Dee had sent him during intermission. “He didn’t.”“Well, that ain’t my problem. We gonna go get drunk or what?”Frank led the way and they started to exit the theatre, but Charlie hung back. “You wanna call him?” Mac felt frozen, but he nodded.Dennis picked up on the fourth ring. “Hey, dude!” Mac felt nauseating anger at the sound of his voice. “I was gonna call you but I figured the show started already. I had to go to the office to sign off on the new covers - Baby, you should’ve seen what they were gonna go with before I-““What the hell are you talking about?” It hit him all at once. Dennis hadn’t seen him. John wouldn’t sprain his ankle twice, it was over, and Dennis hadn’t seen a thing.“It was really last minute,” Dennis said. “I’ll come see the show next week, Mac! It’s the same show, right?”He was at a complete loss for words. Sure, all the thoughts he wanted to convey were there, but he couldn’t figure out how to put the words in his mouth and say them through the phone. He settled for a, “I’ll see you when I get home,” and hung up without saying goodbye.Charlie was still there. “What did he say?”“Let’s go get drunk,” Mac said.—They ditched Dee and Frank and ended up at a bar far away from Paddy’s. Hanging out with Charlie alone was like going back in time, but always in a refreshing way. He was unreliable but that didn’t stop Mac from relying on him. So, he drank next to him until the disgusting buzzing in his head turned into nothing, and Charlie kept slurring about how this bar reminded him of the pub scene in his show. “Dude, this is just like- if we go bash dogs after this, that’s just like Gaston in the show,” he said. “Life imitates art, or some shit!”“Yeah, yeah.” Mac was usually happy-drunk after this much beer. He should be happy anyway, he decided. He barely saw Dennis these days, but when he did see him, it was great. At least, it was fine. They were doing fine. “I can’t believe he didn’t show up.” His head was drooping to the counter, and he was afraid he would fall face first into his beer and drown if he wasn’t careful.“Oh, man,” Charlie said. “His loss, y’know? Maybe when you see him you can put on a one-man show, I’ll play the piano, that’s fine-““It’s not the same, bro,” Mac said. “He’s just- he’s not gonna get it. I thought he’d try harder, y’know? We’re married.”“That’s so weird, dude.”“I know! Everything’s-“ He hiccuped. “Everything’s changing! Sometimes I miss us all hanging out at the bar doin’ nothing - like, we didn’t bang or anything but it was still pretty sweet. I’m like, nostalgic.”“Gross, dude,” Charlie said, almost facedown now. “I miss the old days, too. I miss how you were.”Mac blinked hard. “How I was? What d’you mean?”“Y’know…” Charlie waved his hand around. “You used to not care what he thought of you.”“Who?”“Dennis, dude.”“What are you talking about?” Charlie waved his hand again, and Mac resisted the urge to smack it out of the air. “You’re so drunk bro.”“Nahhh,” Charlie drawled. “You used to be happier.”The nausea was back. “What are you trying to say?”“You know,” Charlie said, with enough effort to cut through both of their drunk hazes.Mac stared back at him, the anger and what he realized was embarrassment rushing up to meet him. He stood up, knocking his bar stool backwards. “You don’t know shit, Charlie!” he shouted, slamming his beer down on the counter.“I don’t know shit?” Charlie motioned to himself, then looked wildly around to the bar patrons who were staring at him. He sounded like an angry pelican. “I don’t know shit? Hey, everybody, I guess I don’t know shit!”“Shut the fuck up, Charlie!” Mac was halfway across the bar now. He had to leave, and not just because he sensed they were both about to be kicked out anyway. He heard Charlie call after him a couple times, but he couldn’t give less of a shit. He was happier than he’d ever been in his goddamn life, and goddamn anyone who tried to tell him he wasn’t. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Three and a Half Years Ago I don’t know why people run, I don’t know why things fall through. I don’t know how anybody survives in this life without someone like you. It was dusk in Philadelphia and the bar was considerably dead for a Tuesday. Mac had the night shift, as usual, by choice. Out of the four of them, he was strong enough to ward off any bad guys who might be lurking out there in the night. Dee’s arms would break like popsicle sticks, Charlie would get flattened, and he was pretty sure Frank had lied about his boxing career. Dennis was still here, though, even though he didn’t work here anymore. He’d said it was just to keep him company, but he’d been fidgeting around in his seat for the past hour and Mac was beginning to suspect he had an ulterior motive.That didn’t stop him from talking, though. “Oscar is such a dick,” Mac said, wiping down the counter. “He thinks he’s hot shit because he was the second choice to understudy Elder McKinley on Broadway. Well, guess what, bitch? We’re all playing forks in Beauty and the Beast, so time to shut up, bro.”“Sounds like a total jerk off,” Dennis agreed. “Hey… I think I might’ve left my phone in the back office. Can you go check for me?”“The back office?” Mac said. “When was the last time you went-““Just go check,” Dennis insisted.Mac complied, but not without looking over his shoulder as he went. He glanced around the room; nothing was out of place and there was no phone. He lingered for a second to make it seem like he’d looked harder, a little apprehensive. Maybe Dennis was hiding something.He walked back in empty handed. “It’s not back there. D’you think it got stolen or something? I could call th-“ He stopped short. Dennis was on his knees, but not in the sexy way. In the romantic way. “Dennis?”“Mac, I’ve been thinking, and…” He finagled his hand into his pocket. “And I- I think- I think I’m ready to make this more… real.” He pulled out a tiny box, and Mac’s eyes widened. His pulse quickened and he took in the scene before him, disbelieving. This couldn’t be happening. This could never happen. “We can keep doing whatever we want - I can write, you can act, we can be at Paddy’s - I just want to do it with you. I want to stay with you.”“Y-you’re sure?”“Yeah,” Dennis affirmed shakily, opening the box. “Will you marry me?”“Holy shit.” He ran his hands through his hair, needing to grab onto something. He caught sight of the ring and did a double take. “Wait, is that Dee’s old cock ring?”Dennis quickly looked into the box. “Ah, shit, it kinda looks like it, doesn’t it? We can return it and get a different one if you-““No,” Mac said firmly, grabbing Dennis’s hand and hoisting him to his feet. “It’s perfect. This is perfect. Holy shit, this is perfect.” He took Dennis in his arms and kissed him.“Is that a yes?” Dennis asked; he was delightfully jumpy and Mac couldn’t stop laughing but he also couldn’t stop kissing him. He felt weightless, like a stiff wind would carry him away, and Dennis was the only thing keeping him grounded. “Yes, dude!” Mac wrapped his arms tighter around him, touched their foreheads together. He couldn’t get close enough, yet they were closer than they’d ever been.—They decided to get married in the bar, for a number of reasons. One was the cost, which would be nothing. Frank was also blacklisted from a good number of wedding venues in the city. But most of all, it just felt like the right thing to do. Paddy’s was dressed up as fancy as it could be. The floors were freshly swept, and they had set up rows of folding chairs in front of their improvised alter.It was especially difficult to decide who should sit on which side of the aisle. They’d given up early in the planning process when they realized they didn’t have that many people attending, anyway. All they could scrape together were the gang, Mac’s mom, Cricket, and the usual barflies, plus Artemis who would be officiating.“Is this really the best we could get?” Dennis said, peeking out from the back office. “I mean, couldn’t you get some of my book fans? Just to make me feel a little better?”“Wouldn’t you rather have people here who actually care about you a little bit?” Dee asked. He looked at her with disdain; Mac had called dibs on Charlie as his best man, which left Dee as Dennis’s maid of honor. He was pissed at first, but as the moment of truth grew closer and he felt the annoyance replaced by unfiltered anxiety, he leaned on his sister.He knew she would let him. “Do I look okay?”“You look fine.” “Fine?” “Amazing,” Dee said sharply. “Jesus Christ.”“Yeah, sure, Dee, get snippy with me. It’s not like I’m getting married in a few minutes or anything.” He smoothed down his blazer. “I knew I should’ve gone back to the tailor for this, they didn’t take in the sides the way I wanted. I forgot to get the buttons replaced, too. And would it have killed you to match my tie a little better, Dee? Your dress looks bluer than anything I’m wearing, and if you’re trying to upstage me on my own goddamn wedding day then I’ll smack you right in the jaw-“Dee’s hand was on his shoulder suddenly, and Dennis stopped talking. She had a sympathetic look on her face that any other day would have infuriated him, but today he just stared at her blankly and told her what he’d never tell anyone else. “I’m so fucking nervous.”Dee squeezed his shoulder. “If it makes you feel any better, I never thought in a million years you’d ever make it this far.”“That- yeah, that makes me feel a little better, sort of.” He wrung his hands. “Defying expectations is just what I do.” Dennis took one more look at the bar, then shut the door. Before he could reconsider, he pulled Dee into a hug. “Thanks, sis.”“Oh! Jeez-“ Dee patted his back. “Yeah, okay.”Much too suddenly, Dennis was standing in front of their excessive rows of chairs, Dee by his side and Artemis facing him. “Looking’ foxy, sweet cheeks,” she said, and Dennis chose to ignore her. The next ten minutes happened very quickly.Charlie, wearing a tuxedo, ran in through the men’s bathroom with a boombox on his shoulder. “Ladies and gentlemen!” he yelled to the ten or so guests. “Are you ready for a wedding?!” He bashed the play button, and the G. I. Joe theme song filled the air. Dennis wheeled around to gape at Dee, whose eyes were glued on Charlie. With a subtle glint of spray paint under his nose, he was punching the air with his free hand and shouting over the music, “Here he comes! Here he comes!” Mac followed, sprinting right to Charlie’s side and dancing along with him. Dennis was agog at his gleeful face and sleeveless tuxedo as he bickered with Charlie for a second.“I’m gonna do it!” Mac insisted.“Dude, you can’t-”“I’m completely capable of-““Mac, don’t-!”But it was too late. Mac leapt down the aisle in what was unmistakably an attempt at a backflip. Before anyone could blink, he was facedown on the disgusting bar floor with a loud crash. “Oh shit!” Frank yelled, barely audible over the blaring music. Mac got to his feet looking no worse for wear; in fact, he was still smiling. He ran the remaining five feet to Dennis’s side, very out of breath.“Charlie, turn that shit off!” Dee yelled, and he complied, taking his place behind Mac. Mac took Dennis’s hands in the newfound silence, and Dennis hoped they didn’t feel too cold because he was absolutely frozen.“Thank you for that, boys,” Artemis said. “My fellow Paddy’s patrons, we gather here today not just to mourn the death of a friendship, but to celebrate the birth of a union.” Dennis’s gaze was fixed on Mac’s shitty dragon tattoo. He read somewhere that you could get a better handle on your balance if you stared at something that didn’t move. “If you would please commence with the reading of your vows-““What are you talking about? That was my vows,” Mac interrupted, still winded. “It was supposed to demonstrate how I’ll always keep Dennis safe, like G. I. Joe!”Artemis grimaced. “You totally biffed the flip.”Mac spread his hands wide in exasperation. “That was to showcase my resilience!”Dennis was jolted back to reality by Mac’s hands leaving his own. His heart, pounding hard, felt full of something other than blood. “I’ll read mine.”Mac beamed as Dennis took his notecards out of his pocket. With shaking hands, he began to read. “Mac, you’re not who I pictured for myself. Not even close. I’m not-“ He cleared his throat. “I’m not sure-“ There was an incessant prickling behind his eyes and his chest felt like it was in a vise. “But you’re- I-“ He swallowed and looked up to meet Mac’s eyes, and it was like a switch inside him flipped and he was sobbing. Mac hugged him immediately and Dennis was grateful for the shield from the eyes on him. He could feel him laughing, though, and he didn’t really care about anything else.“Do you guys, like, want to get married or what?” Artemis asked.“Yeah, we’re good, we’re good,” Dennis said, pulling away. He kept crying through the rest of the ceremony, even the long Catholic parts Mac had insisted upon, and only stopped to roar with laughter when Artemis asked if he would take Ronald McDonald to be his lawfully wedded husband. Mac glared at him, but Dennis saw tears in his eyes when Artemis asked if he would take Dennis. When their lips met, Charlie flipped the switch back on the boombox, and one of the crazier parties Paddy’s Pub had ever hosted commenced.Dennis stepped outside when the environment began to rival their “Freedom Bar” scheme. It was feeling a little more packed than their measly gathering would indicate, and Cricket was starting to break out a few questionable drugs. The night air put him at ease, not that there was too much to ease. For once, the world was spinning in the direction he wanted.The door opened and out came Mac. Mac Reynolds. His hair was a mess, and there was glitter shining on his chest. “Hey! What’re you doin’ out here?”“Just taking a breather,” he said, motioning for Mac to stand next to him. They joined hands. “Things are going a little off the rails in there, huh?”Mac laughed a drunk little laugh. “Y’know what would be pretty cool?”He was so close Dennis could tell what brand of beer was on his breath. “What?”“Let’s go up to the roof and watch the sunrise,” Mac said. “I think there’s still a couple chairs up there from when me and Charlie faked our deaths.”Dennis hummed. “I gotta say, that does sound pretty goddamn romantic.”After an uncoordinated, drunk climb up the ladder, they found no folding chairs and presumed Cricket had scampered off with them, or Charlie had brought them into his Bad Room. They settled with laying on the ground, balling up their suit jackets to use as pillows. It would be a while before the sunrise, anyway, so this way they could look up and what few stars the Philadelphia lights left alone. It occurred to Dennis then that they could’ve been anywhere together, and the sky would be the same. He found this comforting in a way he couldn’t really explain, but with Mac pressed up against him it made sense.“I was serious, just so you know.”“What?” Dennis asked. Mac’s tone had been very soft.“That I would keep you safe,” he said. Dennis couldn’t see him, on his back with his head on Mac’s shoulder, but he could feel a comfortable rumble every time Mac spoke and he hoped he wouldn’t stop if he didn’t respond. “Like G. I. Joe. Or, like, in a ‘feelings’ kind of way if that’s what you need. I know you had a lot of them back there at the alter.”Dennis pulled away a couple inches to look at him. He took in everything he could - the hard roof beneath him, the summer air, the warm body against his, and Mac’s sincere eyes. So many things, but none of it felt like too much. Dennis reached into his pocket. “Let me read my vows.”“Oh, dude, you don’t have to-““No,” Dennis said. “It’s only fair, right?” He cleared his throat and shuffled his notecards. “Mac, you’re not who I pictured for myself. At all. Not even close. And I can’t figure out why people run from things, or why neither of us have abandoned each other yet. Because things haven’t always been good. In fact, sometimes living with you is downright unbearable-““Does it get nicer?” Mac interrupted. “You could totally be timing this with the sunrise.”“Hold on!” Dennis ordered. “Most of all, I don’t know how anyone survives without someone like you.”Mac blinked a few times, and settled back onto his makeshift pillow.“Mac, I’ve never felt better than when you’re with me. You make me feel safe, and- and loved. You give me the courage to do almost anything, because I know that if I ever failed then you’d be there for me. And I know - I can feel it - I know I need to be by your side.” He had to pause. “Mac, I love you.”Mac’s eyes were wide and awed, and he laughed a bit shakily. “Wow, dude.” He squeezed Dennis’s hand. “Did you plagiarize that?”Dennis shook his head, and a couple tears rolled down Mac’s cheeks. Dennis kissed him, then smirked. “Who’s crying now, bitch?”“You dick,” Mac mumbled, scooting closer to him. Dennis settled into his arms, finally happy to spend the rest of his life there. They fell asleep before the sunrise. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Three Years Ago I don’t want to look whipped in front of this woman, which is dumb - I shouldn’t care what she thinks since I can’t fuck her anyway! He and Mac almost exclusively went to the Wawa across town these days, since it was the only place that had a specific brand of pretzels they liked. Every Saturday, they would walk in and split up. Dennis would grab snacks and Mac would take care of the drinks. Then, they’d head back to the apartment and marathon some action moves, Predator sure to make an appearance. It was a routine unbroken for years despite anything else that happened to be going on in their lives, and especially in light of their marriage. Dennis had to ground himself every time he thought of himself as a married man, but in a different way than he’d had to with Maureen. It helped that nothing big had really changed between him and Mac; really, it was just a label. Change was good in small doses. He thought he’d heard that somewhere once.“Do we like Dr. Pepper or diet Dr. Pepper?” Mac asked.“I don’t know. Diet, whichever,” Dennis answered. “Hurry up, though, we gotta start these movies soon if I’m gonna get any sleep tonight.”“Why’d you have to pick an 8am flight?” Mac started to walk towards the coolers. “You knew I’d be the one driving you to the airport, bitch.”Dennis smirked and meandered towards the snacks. Marriage went hand in hand with the amazing new life he was living. Dennis Reynolds: An Erotic Life was climbing the bestseller list, something he often pretended hadn’t blindsided him. He was all over the place, doing book signings every other week and getting recognized in the streets. People were apparently itching for porn that was socially acceptable to read on the bus, and Dennis was happy to provide that, especially if it made him famous.“Hey, are you Dennis Reynolds?”Dennis looked up and almost dropped his bag of pretzels at the pair of breasts that had asked him his name. He squared his shoulders. “Uh, yes, yes I am.”She smiled wide. “I just finished your book! It was amazing, I couldn’t put it down!” She was short, young, and had blonde hair that hung down her back in a braid. “Do you think you’ll write another one?”Dennis ran through how he would describe her, should she make an appearance in his memoirs. He rested an arm on the shelf near her elbow. “Oh, I bet I will. I have a wealth of experiences to draw from, so it’s only natural I do.”“Wow, you have such a way with words,” she said. Dennis smirked, and before he could think about it, he put his hand on her shoulder. She giggled, inching a bit closer.Then Mac sidled up next to him and he crashed back down to earth. “Hey, you got the pretzels?”Dennis snapped his hand back. Shit, was he Engaging her Physically? “Uh, yeah, got ‘em right here. Uh…?”“Sarah,” the girl said.“Sarah, this is my… husband, Mac.” He gestured to Mac without looking at him.“Oh, wow,” Sarah said. “Um, nice meeting you, but I gotta run.” Dennis watched her as she went, honest to God trying to look anywhere but her ass.He came back into his body when Mac took his hand. “She was weird, huh?”“Yeah, weird.”“Let’s go watch some Predator, bro!”—He really, really tried not to let it bother him, but the ease with which he had gone on autopilot had him on edge for the rest of the night. He thought he at least had control over his own thoughts, but maybe he didn’t. If Mac hadn’t shown up, what would’ve happened? God, he’d forgot Mac even existed for a minute there. He looked over at Mac, who was eating handfuls of pretzels with his eyes glued to the screen with an intensity that was strange considering he’d seen this movie a million times. The winter sunlight glinted off his wedding band, and Dennis glanced down at his own. It felt heavy on his finger. It represented not just happiness and love, but complacency. It stared up at him and said, this is it. Mac is enough for you, forever, or else. “You okay?” Mac was looking at him. God, he’d even paused Predator. “It’s the right size, right? Mine’s perfect.”“Oh.” Dennis fiddled with his ring. “No, it’s great.”“Great,” Mac said, and pressed play. He leaned into Dennis, resting his head in the crook of his neck. Dennis tried not to stiffen, because really, what reason did he have to? But the longer they sat there the heavier Mac felt, and the more his chest threatened to explode. Jumping out the window seemed like a fantastic option, but he couldn’t place why. That’s self sabotaging, he told himself. Don’t be an idiot. It was just that the feeling was chasing him, hunting him down, and he had to feel it wether he wanted to or not.He felt Mac sigh, then say almost lazily, “I love you.” He hoped Mac couldn’t tell his heart was beating too quickly, with no reasonable excuse. Dennis stared at him. From this point of view, he could only see his dark, gelled hair. He willed himself to answer.Apparently he took a little too long, because Mac pulled away and looked him in the eyes. “I love you, too,” Dennis choked, and Mac beamed. They settled back into the couch, and Dennis felt the panic recede.—As much as Mac wanted to complain, Dennis knew he could’ve just left his car in one of those pay-by-the-day parking lots. They could afford it. Mac didn’t need to come along to the airport, and he definitely didn’t need to be the one driving. Other people driving made him nervous.“I know how to drive, dude,” Mac said. “And this way you can get a little shut-eye before you get on the plane. You won’t be able to sleep on the plane.”“How do you know what I can do?” Dennis snapped.He shrugged. “There’s like, turbulence. And what if someone falls asleep on you?” Dennis rolled his eyes. If someone fell asleep on him, he would expect a full refund of his ticket. “Point is, you should sleep now, bro,”Dennis folded his arms and fell silent for the rest of the car ride, hoping Mac would just forget he was there. When they pulled up to the unloading zone, Mac jumped out of the car. Dennis followed, and saw Mac getting his bags for him like he was some kind of chauffeur.“Alright, well…” Mac held his arms out. “I’ll see you in a few days.” They stood like that for a few more seconds, until Mac leaned forward and hugged him tightly. Oh, Dennis thought. Right. He brought his hands up around Mac, who felt solid and strong, and broke away. Mac waved at him one last time as he got back into the car. Dennis watched him drive away. He guessed every married man had to deal with… whatever this was. Hell, he was probably just bored or something. He had the next few days to himself, and he knew he was civilized enough that he wouldn’t go chasing after every warm body that liked his book. The word was crawling with hot people, but that didn’t have to make Dennis love Mac any less. He would be fine. He was fine. This was just a challenge he’d have to work on alone. Mac would never understand. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Three and a Half Years Ago Jesus Christ, I suck, I suck, I suck! The main room was large and cavernous, like the belly of a whale. It was almost like a church, Mac decided, and that put him at ease. Instead of worshipping God, here he was supposed to worship… Steven Sondheim? He was sure he’d heard that name before, and if he was going to be into theatre, he should probably figure out who that was.In any case, the giant theatre felt a bit less intimidating if he thought of it like a Church of Musicals. Charlie tagging along also quelled his anxiety. Dee globbing on, however, did not.“You gotta make sure you smile at the director,” Dee instructed. “Square your shoulders. Also, have you eaten anything today?”“I’m not taking any of your advice, Dee,” he said, waving his hands in her face as if to physically shake her off. “I have an A, B, and C strike plan. I’m gonna introduce myself, say my monologue words, and get the part!”“Yeah, what play is this?” Charlie asked, looking around like he owned the place.“Dude, I've been talking about this for months!” Mac said, folding and unfolding the paper his monologue was printed on. “It’s Beauty and the Beast, and I’ll be playing the part of Gaston.”“Don’t forget your roots, bro,” Charlie said, taking a seat in one of the squishy theatre seats. “Put in a word for me as the guy who gave you your first role!”“Why Gaston? Why not the lead?” Dee asked, sitting down next to Charlie.“Well, first of all, because I’m good enough to get any part I want.” Mac drummed his fingers on his thigh, counted a couple of his breaths. “Second, the Beast’s more of a bear-type situation, whereas I’m more aligned with the otter side of things. Not to mention Gaston’s a total beefcake, who I’d be honored to play.”“Gaston’s a total ladies man, though,” Charlie said.“I interpret his character alternatively.”“Why are you even doing this?” Dee asked, a bit of that stage-related anxiety playing across her face. “What, are you jealous of Dennis’s success or something?”“No!” Mac said quickly. He sat on the arm of the seat in front of Charlie and started to glance over his monologue. “Musicals are badass, especially this one. Gaston gets to carry around a gun, and he hunts the Beast through the woods. That’s straight up manly.”“Yeah, but then he dies,” Charlie said.“Yeah, but you never see the body!” Mac retorted. “This is important to me, assholes! Can you just shut up and cheer for me when I’m done reading this shit?”“That’s a terrible choice for a monologue by the way,” Dee said. “It’s barely even a monologue, it’s more like a lecture.”“It’s important, Dee! They’re destroying the environment!” Mac yelled.“They’re destroying the environment, Dee!” Charlie parroted.“Neither of you gave a shit about the environment before you saw that stupid Steven Seagal movie!” Dee said. “That was a shit movie and this is gonna be a shit audition.”“Mac McDonald?” The voice came from the front of the theatre. Mac sprinted to the stage at once, flashing a smile at the group of clean-cut people sitting in the first row of seats. There was a skinny man with curly hair, a woman wearing a blue sweater, and a bald man with glasses. The bald man held a clipboard, which he seemed to be reading off. “So, you’ll be trying out for the part of Gaston?”“That’s right, here we go!” He unfolded the paper and began to read. “‘How many of you out there have heard of ‘alternate engines’ - engines that can run on anything from alcohol to garbage to water, or carburetors that can get hundreds of miles to the gallo-““Uh, wait, hold on,” the woman said, hand raised.“What is happening?” the skinny man said.“We’d actually like you to read off these lines.” The woman held a binder out to him.Mac looked down at her, folding his monologue back in half. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Charlie giving him two thumbs up. “Oh. Whoops.” He stooped down to take the binder from the woman, stomach jumping a bit at the thought of reading lines he’d never seen before. He muddled through the scene, in which Gaston chided Belle about reading books and talked about how handsome he was. Thankfully, he was prepared to sing a few bars. He, Charlie, and the electric keyboard had made sure of that many times over. Then, the directors said they’d be in touch, and Mac was free to stumble off stage and back to Dee and Charlie.“Mac, I gotta hand it to you, after they stopped you from doing that dumb monologue it really wasn’t that bad!” Dee smiled and elbowed him lightly yet sharply as they made their way out of the theatre.“Yeah, it sucks Dennis couldn’t come!” Charlie said, clapping him on the back. “He would’ve really like it, I think.”“Yeah, well,” Mac started, his bright smile waning as they walked to Dee’s car. “He needed some space to write today, it’s cool.” He tugged on the handle to Dee’s car impatiently. “Uh, thanks for coming with me.”“I knew we could teach you a thing or two about acting,” Dee said with a grin in her voice. They climbed in, she started the car, and down the road they went.With Dee driving and Charlie in the front seat, Mac began to space out rather than listen to their conversation. He tried not to overanalyze his audition, but his mind wandered and he couldn’t help himself. What if he got rejected and he had to go back to just working at the bar? And what about Dennis? The thought of telling Dennis he wasn’t good enough to get into a regional production of Beauty and the Beast made his stomach do backflips.Dennis had changed everything. Before him, Mac didn’t care if he died a penniless bartender. Now, with Dennis rocketing miles ahead of him, with recognition and a book deal and affirmation of his talent, what could he ever do to measure up? Dennis making enough money to support the both of them threw him for a loop, and reminded him of the suburbs experiment he never wanted to revisit. He couldn’t be the guy stuck at home all day waiting for Dennis to come home. He couldn’t wile away his entire life watching Dennis succeed while he poured shots at the bar. Dragging him down had never worked, but rising up to meet him seemed just as impossible.He realized with a start that Dee had stopped the car in front of his apartment. He got out of the car without thanking her, and made his way up the stairs. His heart pounded as he opened the door. Dennis was on the couch, laptop open, papers strewn over the coffee table. Mac paused in the doorway for a second to watch him work before sitting down next to him. Dennis’s head snapped up. “Hey, dude. How’d it go?”Mac took a deep breath and smiled. “It went great!” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Half a Year Ago At some point down the line, don’t we get to relax, without some new tsuris to push me yet further from you? Dennis hated this, but this was just another regular night. Nothing he couldn’t get under control. But with every passing second he looked at Mac’s face, unable to catch his eye, he felt ice in his veins and lead in his stomach. Mac was going to ruin everything if he didn’t get his tie around his neck and his ass out the door.“I’m not going.” The immovable object was planted on the couch, wearing a scowl and yesterday’s sweatpants. “‘Cause it’s pointless, Dennis. Nobody talks to me at these things or cares what I have to say, so what’s the point? I’m not going!”“Yes, you are!” Dennis had long surpassed screeching. Usually this pitch forced Mac to do anything he needed him to do, but this was the first time in a long time it wasn’t working. “This party could mean the difference between a second book or no second book, and I won’t have you ruining this for me!”Like a slingshot, Mac was on his feet, violently displacing the bowl of popcorn that had been on his lap. “Ruin this for you?” Good, Mac, get fucking angry. At least they were on the same page for once. “Nothing’s ever ruined for you! You’ve got all of Philadelphia drooling over you because of your stupid memoirs, which are all about you fucking random chicks and I’m not mentioned once! We’re fucking married, Dennis-““I’ve explained this to you a thousand goddamn times,” Dennis said, forcing every syllable out with deliberate venom. “All the rewrites were done before we-““I don’t give a shit!” They were nose to nose, Mac was yelling and pointing, but Dennis set his face so he hopefully wouldn't give him anything to bounce off of. “You should’ve done another rewrite! Then maybe I could get a better role than a tree in The Wizard of Oz-“Dennis laughed a short, high-pitched laugh. “Is that what this is about? Are you serious?”Mac faltered. “I mean- Dennis, what am I doing? What do you even want me to do?”“I want you to support me!” Dennis said, raising his hands in a sort of peace offering. “Like a trophy husband!”Four years ago, it might’ve been the right thing to say, but today it earned him a handful of popcorn to the face and an indignant “What the fuck, Dennis?”“That came out weird,” Dennis offered. “Mac… you’re doing fine, alright? You’re making this way more complicated than it needs to be. Can you stop trying to chop this up and analyze it and just be with me?”Mac was silent, but he didn’t look angry. There was noting for Dennis to latch onto, so he flailed.“Wh-what’s really wrong? What do you really want?” Still, nothing. “Is it that you’re disappointed you don’t get better roles? You don’t like these parties? Which is it?”Not only was Mac still not talking, he had turned his back on him. Somehow the back of his head pissed Dennis off more than the front. “Is this too hard for you?” Dennis was surpassing any conversation that was actually about the party and treading on dangerously uneven ground. But he was also on a single-lane highway to this party, and he needed Mac in the passenger seat holding his goddamn hand. “Mac, you are dragging us down with this bullshit. Marriage is supposed to be hard, okay? Y-you can’t keep me trapped in this little world I don’t want to be a part of anymore!”He was starting to get deliriously angry again and he wished Mac would turn back around so he would have something tangible to yell at. He settled by trying to soften his tone, but the acidic anger still peeked through the cracks. “Look- Mac, of course I think you have the potential to succeed. I always have.” Mac’s shoulders shook a little, and he crossed his arms, but he didn’t turn around. “Could I have married you if I didn’t? Could I have lived with you for almost two fucking decades? Could I have loved you?”His questions remained unanswered, so he saw red and closed the gap between them, grabbing Mac by the shoulders and spinning him around. “Will you listen to me?!” He ignored the tears streaming down Mac’s face because Mac was not going to get the upper hand by being emotional. “Why can’t we be happy?! Why can’t you be happy when I’m happy?!” He’d unlocked a new level of mania, which he couldn’t admire because everything about this was making him sick. “I won’t fail for you, Mac, I can’t!”At Mac’s predictable silence, they stayed stuck like that in the middle of their living room in a parody of an embrace. Dennis took a deep breath, staring into his wet eyes. “Mac, I want you to be with me at this party. Put on your tie and we’ll go. Okay? Can you do that for me? Please?” Mac raised his arms and Dennis flinched, but all he did was throw Dennis’s arms off his shoulders. “What-?” Dennis started, but Mac was already tearing across the room, into the bathroom, and slamming the door shut. He heard the click of the lock, and he just about exploded.“Fine, Mac!” He ripped off his wedding back and threw it at the closed door. It ricocheted off the wood and was lost on the floor somewhere. “Stay here all night- fuck, stay here forever for all I give a shit!” He hightailed it out the front door, sifting through excuses for why Mac wasn’t at the party. Fuck, they probably wouldn’t even ask about him. Mac was choosing to be an obstacle, Dennis told himself, but he obviously didn’t realize what an unstoppable force he was. Dennis was finally, certainly, peaking, and there was no way Mac couldn’t feel it. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Four and a Half Years Ago It feels like my life lead right to your side and will keep me there from now on. Mac fiddled with the salt shaker, screwing and unscrewing it. Not that he was nervous, or some shit. Maybe a little uncomfortable, but he always had the situation under control. It was just that the dimmed lights of the cafe were totally inappropriate for the time of day it was. Any exit strategy would be severely impeded, not to mention the accuracy of ocular pat-downs totally compromised. He made a mental note to tell Dennis this when he came back with their coffees.The very thought of Dennis made his heart jump. In a good way, he decided, and it felt so good to decide that. It was strange how you could know a guy for two decades, then once you realize you’re gay, your perception of him completely changes. It wasn’t like Mac was looking for any long term commitments or God forbid marriage, but something about the way they looked at each other nowadays made him feel amazing. He had to keep reminding himself that they were on a real date, not some regular coffee trip that Mac wished would snowball into something more. Hell, they were practically building snowmen at this point; they were long overdue for a first date.“So?” Dennis said, sitting down across from him. He stumbled a bit as he scooted onto the tall chair, and their almost white coffees sloshed in their shallow, wide cups. “What do you think?”“The coffees? They look a little pale to me,” Mac said, stirring his with a tiny spoon.“They’re lattes,” Dennis said. “It’s classy. But- no, not the coffee. The coffee shop. What do you think of this place? It’s got five stars on Yelp.”Mac shrugged and took a sip of his foamy coffee. He was forced to hold the cup with two hands, which did feel pretty classy. “It’s nice. Kinda not really our style, though.”The change in Dennis’s face was imperceptible, unless you were really really good at reading people like Mac was. “I dunno, I thought somewhere like this might be a little more… gay friendly than a dive bar.”Mac’s eyebrows raised. “Are we gonna get gay right now?”Dennis gave him a strange look, then glanced around the cafe for a second. “I just don’t want to get our asses kicked on a nice evening out.”Mac scoffed. “I’ll protect you if anyone gets homophobic on us! You’re always safe as long as you’re with me.” He puffed his chest out. “No one expects a gay guy to be as tough as I am!”Dennis laughed and took a sip of his coffee. “Yeah, thank you, Mac.” He looked around the cafe again, a little less urgently this time. “This is… nice, right?”He looked happy, peaceful. He used to only look like this when he was asleep, and to see this on his conscious face made Mac’s heart flutter. “Yeah, it’s really nice.” Then, he did something that felt bold even though they’d already banged a couple times - he reached across the table to hold Dennis’s hand. Immediately Dennis’s eyes snapped to their hands, then to Mac’s face for a tense moment. Then, he smiled.Mac let out a breath. “I think-“ he started, then reconsidered. “I’m glad it’s not… too late. For either of us.”Dennis took another sip (one-handedly, Mac noted with admiration), and Mac was worried for a second he might find an excuse to cut and run like he usually did when Mac wanted to talk about feelings. Instead, he puts his cup down and looks Mac in the eye with rare softness. “I’m glad, too.” He gave a short little laugh. “I’ve never been anyone’s boyfriend without getting sick of them in a week.”Mac almost fell off his chair. “Boyfriend?”Dennis’s expression returned to the hard veneer he was more accustomed to. “I mean… D’you think…”Mac gave a little squeeze to Dennis’s hand, a byproduct of the giddy laughter that had overtaken him. “You want to be my boyfriend?”“Yes, asshole.” The words were blunt but his tone made Mac smile even harder.The spell was broken when Mac saw the clock. “Shit, dude, we gotta get to Paddy’s.”“Right,” Dennis said, collecting their cups. “Let’s just take care of these and go pay.”Mac followed him to the dish tray, then stopped. “Wait, who pays when you’re gay?” They locked confused eyes, then sprinted out of the coffee shop as Mac mentally noted another place they couldn’t eat at for a while.—So far, life outside the closet was pretty sweet. The only thing that upset him when he thought about it for too long was how he could’ve come out sooner. He tried not to dwell on it for too long. When he was deciding wether or not to come out, most of his research was comprised of gay porn, but he looked up his fair share of questions, too. Most of all, he wanted to know what a relationship with a man would be like.He got lots of answers. Every gay guy’s story about his husband and their love ached in his chest and weighed heavy on his mind. And he couldn’t think of anyone but Dennis. His feelings for Dennis had been the same for as long as he could remember, but he was just now realizing it was love.Dennis, who was now holding his hand and walking with him down the streets of the city. Even a month ago, he wouldn’t have dreamed of this. Hell, he didn’t think Dennis was capable of it. The idea that they could bring out the best in each other made Mac a little lightheaded - in a good way. That was another decision he could make.They were coming up close to the bar now, and he regretfully let go of Dennis’s hand. He may have been ready to declare their relationship to the randoms of Philadelphia, but he wasn't ready for the gang to know yet. They lingered near the front door, in limbo. “Alright,” Dennis said. “Let’s go to work.”Mac took Dennis’s face in his hands and gave him a quick kiss. Dennis laughed, a lovely sound. “What?” Mac asked, smiling.“It’s just…” Dennis looked at the ground, then into Mac’s eyes. “I feel like… I could be in love with someone like you.” And, God, if anything was going to sweep Mac the fuck off his feet, that was it.They squeezed each other’s hands for one last second, then crossed the threshold of Paddy’s. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Three Months Ago All that I ask for is one little corner, one private room in the back of my heart. This was the worst headache of the week, but Dennis wasn’t going to let that stop him. This was the closest he’d been to another human being in months. It wasn’t as bad as a crack headache, anyway, so what did he really have to complain about? His head was all over the place lately, but in this moment he was doing what he did best against the naked body intertwined with his, and nobody could ever take this away from him-The door slammed open. “What the fuck?!”The man launched himself off Dennis. Dennis grabbed a pillow to cover himself, trying to catch up with the quickly moving world around him. He sat up, trying to remember the guy’s name so he could say something to him, but came up blank.Dee was shielding her eyes and shrieking at them both. “What are you doing here?! Get out! Get the fuck out!”“This isn’t your house?” The guy was looking at Dennis now, with wide eyes, yanking his clothes back on. Dee was probably scaring the shit out of him, but Dennis was out of any reassuring words for him.Dee shoved him into her living room and towards the door. “No! Goddamn, get out!”Dennis leaned his head back against Dee’s mattress. He heard a few more seconds of commotion, but his brain was still catching up and he didn't feel like he could move just yet. He hoped Dee would be so pissed that she would just leave him alone here to stare up at the ceiling, but he knew she would want to unleash her fury on him directly. Soon enough, she was back, and he sat up.Dee threw his pants at him. “Get dressed.” She turned around to offer him privacy, but kept talking. “Who the hell was that in my bed, Dennis?”He zipped up his pants and rolled his eyes. “Receptionist.”Dee wheeled around. “From the publisher house?” He nodded. “So you’re jeopardizing your book deal because you’re horny? In my goddamn apartment? Why?”“It’s not like I could do this in my own apartment, Dee!” Dennis said, forcing himself to match her anger.“So this wasn’t the first time?!” Dee shrieked.“Don’t be condescending to me, you bitch!” Dennis yelled back. He was dangerously close to pacing back and forth, but restrained himself.“I’m not being condescending, I would just you rather not bang random dudes in my apartment!”“I can’t go back to mine,” Dennis said. “Mac wouldn’t get it!”“Get what? That you’re cheating on him?” Dee crossed her arms and blasted him with an absolutely infuriating look.Dennis sat down heavily on her bed. “It’s for my memoirs.” She raised her eyebrows. Dennis rolled his eyes again. “It is! How am I supposed to write another book if I’m only allowed to have sex with Mac?”Dee threw her hands up. “See, this is exactly what I didn’t want! I don’t want to talk about your sex life anymore!” She turned to leave.“Dee, wait!” She stopped at once. All Dennis had to do was make eye contact and she came to sit next to him, albeit reluctantly.“What is happening with you?”He couldn’t answer the question, at least not honestly. Not for lack of trying. Fuck, if he knew what was going on he’d be able to fix it himself, right?He started talking anyway. “Mac used to be happy. Like, he was completely okay with doing what I wanted. Anything I had to do, he was right next to me the whole way. Until he just… wasn’t. He’s just gotta push me and push me until things aren’t okay anymore!”Dee pursed her lips. “You ever think maybe you’re the one who’s doing something wrong?”“If you’re not going to give me real advice, you can just leave,” he snapped.“It’s my-“ she began to scream, but cut herself off. She sighed. “Dennis, why’d you marry him?”“Well, we spent every waking moment together,” he said. “And we lived together for over twenty years. And the sex was amazing-““Okay, okay,” Dee said. “And you love him?”Yes. Of course he did. He didn’t even need to think about it to know he was still in love with Mac, even though another dude had been inside him less than ten minutes ago. Ever since he’d identified the feeling, all those years ago, it hadn’t changed. It was harder to grab onto, but it was still exactly the same. “I don’t know anymore, Dee,” he said quietly.Dee sighed heavily. “Well, you should probably figure that out, right?” She stood up. “Okay, my apartment. Time for me to be alone.”Dennis stood. “Actually, I’m just gonna sleep on your couch. I need time to think.”“Dennis-“ He was already in the living room, sliding Dee’s door shut on her.—It was only a matter of time, right? He had a few books to fill, anyway, and it only made sense to get as much experience as possible. Being a published author fulfilled the D of the D.E.N.N.I.S. System without him having to do any extra work, something he would’ve killed for when he was single. Really, nowadays it was more of a D.E.S. System; he no longer had the time or energy to pretend to emotionally connect with anyone.Mac was a pit of quicksand, and Dennis had to self-preserve in spite of the shifting ground. The closer he got to their apartment, the more his stomach churned. Maybe this love had been hate all along. Maybe he’d made a huge mistake.He opened the door slowly. The apartment seemed empty, but he checked the time. 5:22 in the morning. He creeped into the bedroom to affirm what he thought, that Mac was asleep. He slid into bed next to him, trying not to move the mattress too much. Dennis settled in for the next few hours, wether they be filled with sleep or not.The body next to his shifted, and he froze. He really wasn’t ready to talk to him. Mac rolled over, his hand reaching out and brushing against his arm. Dennis felt like his skin was on fire as he looked down at Mac. He was still asleep, and Dennis noticed bruises on his face. He touched the ones on his own, looked down at his scratched knuckles. His chest burned and he tentatively touched Mac’s hand.Breathing deep, he rolled over and Mac’s hand fell from his arm. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Present Day All I could do was love you. God, I loved you so. Dennis stormed from the bar, willing every one of his footfalls to crack the pavement beneath him, for it to splinter to the earth’s core and swallow him up in dirt and magma. How could Mac have just stared at him like that and not say anything at all? How could he have let him leave? He counted on Mac seeing something between them worth salvaging, and if he couldn’t find anything then clearly Dennis was doomed.He reached into his pocket and felt the folded up paper, knowing the words printed on it by heart at this point. He repeated them in his head like a mantra. Dear Mr. Reynolds, It is on behalf of Liberty Valley Publishing that I must inform you that we have decided to sever our relationship with you. Unfortunately your conduct with our staff has been inappropriate and we can no longer justify- He began tearing it up, and it fell into tiny little pieces as he stalked along the sidewalk. He’d show them. Eventually, they’d realize what a huge mistake they’d made.He stopped when he saw he was at his apartment door. When did he get here? Whatever, okay. He was home. Wrenching open the door, he didn’t bother to flip the lights on as he walked in. The walls were a bit closer than they were yesterday. He walked from room to room, taking in Mac’s towels on the bathroom floor, Mac’s script open on the kitchen table, Mac’s leftovers in the fridge, Mac’s DVD collection, Mac, Mac, Mac, Mac, Mac -“Goddammit!” His foot slammed against the door to Mac’s old bedroom, which flung against the wall with a long bang. It echoed as he was left to focus on the pain in his toes. He surveyed the room; after Dennis made him get rid of the dildo bike for good almost five years ago, they’d actually tried to turn this room into a tiny gym. It remained the only room in the apartment untouched by Dennis, for the most part. He breathed in deeply, and felt Mac’s presence in his mind more acutely than when they’d been face to face at the bar. Mac was all-encompassing, and Dennis was like a diseased tooth that should’ve been pulled a long time ago.What could he possibly do for him now?Mac was right about everything, as difficult as it was to admit. Dennis had the power deep inside him somewhere to make things right, or at least make them bearable. When he thought of existing like this for another ten, twenty, thirty years, he felt his heart get too big for his chest and he knew what it was like to be dying. Every kiss from Mac was like breathing in a mouthful of water. Mac had to feel it too, even if he wouldn’t acknowledge it.He didn’t really see this as Separating Entirely. He knew that was impossible. However distant they were, no matter where Dennis retreated to, Mac had an iron grip on his heart that would leave fingerprints for the rest of his life. Mac, I’m sorry I had to do this, but you have to admit it’s not all on me this time. I could never give you everything you wanted. I can never make things easier. I did some inventory and took everything that was mine when we moved in together the first time. I closed the bank account. I can’t do this for a second longer and I don’t think you can either. I want you to know how hard I tried. I hope you felt loved at some point down the line. - Dennis —Five Years Ago I will keep waiting, I will be waiting for you. “It doesn’t have to be anywhere special! Let’s just go to Dave and Buster’s-““No!” Dennis snapped. “I won’t have your lack of taste ruining this evening.” He stooped back over the laptop, and Mac smirked.He’d really done it, he’d gracefully jumped over the hurdle of coming out of the closet. So what if he’d left a line of bent up, knocked over hurdles in his wake? The successful time was the one that counted. And having a thing with Dennis Reynolds was just a bonus, like finding out your cross-country track trophy came with a free ice cream cone.Speaking of ice cream, he would’ve been perfectly fine having their first date at a Dairy Queen if it meant Dennis would make up his mind. He was obsessed with finding the “perfect select” venue for their first date, as he called it. Mac didn’t really care where they went, but if it made Dennis happy to obsess over this, that was okay with him. “Why don’t we just go to Guigino’s? That’s pretty classy.”“This is more important than any monthly dinner, Mac,” Dennis answered, and Mac smiled. “In any case, I found a place.”Finally. “I hope it’s good,” Mac said, falling onto the couch next to him. It was a total blessing to have their old apartment back; it was just like the old days, with nobody getting in their space. Except it was an idealized version of the old days. Today, he could sling an arm around Dennis without being shot a weird look.“It will be.” Instead of shoving him off, Dennis could lean into the embrace. Mac was really enjoying this new, less self-conscious Dennis. He’d been waiting for the point in his life where things would fall into place and make sense - they’d both been waiting for it, he thought. He couldn’t imagine going back to the life he’d been happy to live just weeks before.“You wanna watch a movie or something?” Mac suggested.Dennis started to nod, the winced. “Shit, I forgot. I’m opening the bar today.” He sagged into the couch.Mac frowned back, leaning onto him heavily. He wanted nothing more than for Dennis to stay with him in this sunny, warm spot, but if Dennis missed another day this week he was pretty sure Frank would finally shoot him.Dennis stood up, sighing. He stretched his arms above his head, and Mac stared at the shape of him in the afternoon light and started to understand why he called himself the Golden God. Dennis looked down at him and said, “We’ll watch something when I get back.”Mac grinned and thought that maybe if he took a nap or something then the time would go by faster. “Okay, sounds good.”Dennis lingered, and Mac knew he should really get going if he wanted to be on time. Still, he waited, drumming a hand on his pant leg. He looked back down at Mac, and they both smiled. Dennis sat back down, and his hands were soft on the sides of Mac’s face as he kissed him.They were centimeters apart, and Mac’s hands came to rest on Dennis’s hips. He felt warm, solid. “Bye,” he whispered.It took him a few seconds, but Dennis stood and made his way towards the door. Mac’s heart fluttered as he watched him go. “Goodbye.”
10423338	Wants	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Mark Bryant, Damien (The Bright Sessions)", "Fandom": "The Bright Sessions (Podcast)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by greygestalt", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-24T00:00:00", "words": "2,565", "Additional Tags": "One Shot, Short & Sweet, Cliche, Slash, Out of Character", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Mark Bryant & Damien, Mark Bryant/Damien", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	It was the morning of the day they would be driving home.Well.Mark’s Home.Damien was just along for the ride, fully expecting to be handed over to the A.M. by Dr.B and Mark’s girlfriend as soon as they laid eyes on him.While Mark’s control terrified him, it was also comforting. Feeling the want to go back, instead of just the dread that creeped in when Mark wasn’t around.In a few hours Damien wouldn’t have to wonder what his fate would be, he also would hopefully be able to have control over himself again with Mark being too preoccupied with his new life to keep tabs on him. He ignored the pained feeling in his gut at the thought.He switched on the t.v. to flip through the five available channels to see if anything was on. There wasn’t. He flipped it off and made a disgusted sound. It was Mark’s turn to go get food from a breakfast diner around the corner and he’d been gone for about 15 minutes.He decided to take a shower instead of lay there like a lump, He tried to only shower when Mark wasn’t around. It was the only time he felt he had a modicum of control, and the hot steam helped clear his head.He felt it when Mark arrived however. Because Damien wanted to suddenly tell Mark where he was, but just as he was about to yell out the want disappeared. Mark must have realized he was in the shower. However another want took it’s place, the want to eat food together. Dammit his control was really shit. Damien skipped most of his shower routine rinsing off as quickly as possible. He ended up standing in the bedroom draped only in a towel. Livid.“You rang?” he commented snidely at Mark who turned. Mark's eyes widened in shock at Damien's state of undress. Not that he hadn’t seen it before, Damien slept in his boxers. But there was something about the way the water dripped off his torso that had Marks words stuck in his throat. His mind went blank.“F-food’s here,” he stuttered turning back towards the diner take out bag. His hands fumbling to untie the knot.“Oh for fucks sake,” Damien marched over and reached past him deftly untying the bag. Mark breathed in his scent and suddenly Damien turned him around and started kissing him.Badly. Almost like Damien had very little experience kissing anyone, but Mark didn’t care. His hands were on Damien’s body touching his arms wrapping a hand around the back of his neck. He took control of the kiss, and could feel Damien relinquish it allowing him to deepen it. He lead Damien to the bed only breaking the kissing long enough to take his shirt off. He pushed Damien back into the bed and payed on top of him, muttering 'remember to breath’ him and they continued to make out.Than Damien's hands started drifting lower and has he stroked Mark through his jeans, he whispered into Mark’s ear, “I want you.” It was like someone switched the light on, Mark shoved Damien away. He didn’t want this, he didn’t want Damien. Not if his power was the only reason Damien wanted him back.“Get away from me,” Suddenly Damien was on the opposite side of the room. “Can you make up your fucking mind?” Damien shouted angrily. Scrambling to keep his towel around his hard on. “You want me, you don’t want me, it’s giving me a headache.” He wanted to slam a door so he went back into the bathroom doing so behind him. He sat on the toilet holding his head trying to make sense of what Mark wanted from him.He heard Mark through the door.“Damien, What do you want?” His head cleared up in a way it hadn’t since he had full control. Had Mark relinquished it? Did he figure out how to control it at long last? Or had Damien ripped it back from him to keep his indecision from harming him further. Damien didn’t know and didn’t care to find out“I want you to leave me alone,” he replied desperately wanting to try and figure out what had just happened.He had kissed Mark Bryant, Mark Bryant had wanted him to kiss him. Yah Mark was an attractive guy, no doubt Damien had thought about it but each time those thoughts came up and he had found a reason to leave, to not be in the vicinity of his companion. Damien wasn’t a rapist, forcing people to do his bidding didn’t turn him on. He tried to stay well away from those he found attractive normally. The sound of a car starting caught his attention.“Shit,” he realized what his words must have done, throwing open the bathroom door. Mark was gone.And for the first time since he had rescued Mark, Damien felt truly alone. He glared angrily at the take out for a minute before deciding that if he ended up having to walk he should at least eat. But first he grabbed his wallet and pulled out the little scrap of paper he had stuck behind is drivers license. If Mark thought he could just leave without him he was wrong. Mark peeled out of the parking lot of the small motel. He was trying to remember how to breath How could he do that? How could he want Damien to kiss him so badly that the man actually did it? He had almost raped the man.He pulled over threw open the car door and got sick. He sat in the car trying to remember the breathing exercises that his sister was so fond of. He felt like a terrible person. After the conversation they had had the previous day, they had sat in silence. Eventually Damien made something that was supposed to be a joke and got a smile out Mark. Things had felt tense ever since. But Mark knew one thing.Mark never wanted to hear Damien say he hated him ever again. And now with what had almost happened because Mark couldn’t control himself, how could he not hate him.He suddenly understood all too well what Damien had been speaking of as he fiddled with the tape recorder staring out the window blankly. He now knew how disgusting it felt to realise that the person you wanted so badly only wanted you because you wanted it. Not because they wanted itSuddenly the prepaid cell phone in his pocket started going off. The number was listed as the motels he sighed and answered the call.“Get your ass back here you are not abandoning me in the middle of fucking nowhere,” followed by a very solid click.He drove back slowly. He was supposed to meet his sister in 5 hours. They were supposed to have eaten a quick breakfast then hit the road. He thought of how things would have gone if he had just been able to keep his wants to himself. But realised he really didn’t know what was going to happen to Damien when they got back. It wasn’t exactly like Joany would want to continue to be his therapist after abducting Mark the way he had. He felt torn as he pulled into the motel lot and got out. He walked into the small room to find Damien angrily cutting up a waffle and shoveling it in his mouth. He looked up at the sound of Mark entering and started to glare. The visage of perpetually angry Damien cheeks puffed out with food trying to be intimidating caught Mark off guard and he started to laugh so hard his sides hurt. Damien swiftly swallowed his food. “Stop being an ass and shut the door.” he bit out. Mark moved to do as as he was told. “Uhg stop doing that. Is this really going to be a back and forth thing now?” Mark froze and turned to look at Damien utterly confused.“I was just doing as you asked,” he said asked sarcastically, he still wasn’t sure if Damien knew how to actually ask for something.“ shut the door and come here and eat,” Mark was really confused, so he just stood there.“You need to start making sense first.” this time making no move to comply with Damien's wishes. Damien stood up slowly.“Are you sure you don’t want to close the door?” he asked staring at Mark. Mark felt Damien’s power but unlike the previous times he felt them he felt no need to comply.“I mean I do. But it’s because I want to. You are also capable of closing the door however.” Mark folded his arms over his chest and raised an infuriating eyebrow at Damien.Damien stood shocked. He felt Marks wants but they did not feel like his own. He felt no need to comply, it was more like a craving instead of an impulse now. A part of him wanted to but he knew he didn’t need to. He could ignore it.Damien moved and shut the door if only because they really didn’t need to have what they where about to discuss out in the open for any passerby to hear. “Why did you want me to kiss you?” Damien asked leaning against the closed door.“Wow you really go for the throat,” Mark stiffly replied moving and sitting on the edge of the bed they had been laying on earlier. He stared at Damien against the door and felt the want rise again. Now he knew how well those lips responded and what sounds those lips made. “Stop, you don’t want me, you really don’t. You have Sam, you’ll see her in a few hours, and you’ll feel better then. You’ll realize that this is just I don’t know, pent up sexual aggression. For fucks sake just STOP,” Damien dropped his eyes. “This has to be my fault, maybe I influenced you maybe I wanted you to want men, so now you do even without of my influence. Too much time on the road with me you can’t-”“I kissed my first boy in fifth grade and I don’t think we shared the same class, so I doubt me wanting men and women has anything to do with your influence. ” Mark chuckled from the bed. “Robert,” he said using Damien's birth name to prove he was saying this against what Damien wanted, “I want you because you are worth wanting. But what happened earlier should've never happened. Not that way. I don’t want your hands on me unless you want to put them there.”Damien slinked over to the bed and stood before Mark. He put his hands on his shoulders and Mark looked up. Damien’s hands followed his collarbone and went around Mark's throat. He started pressing, Mark made no move to stop him. “Do you know how much I hate you? You strip everything from me? Make me feel all vulnerable and exposed? Do you know how easy it would be fore me to just end all of this here? I- I don’t need you.” Damien felt Mark's wants, oh he wanted to live, But more than that he wanted to live with Damien. Damien collapsed before Mark who sucked in a deep breath after Damien's hands let go of their grasp at his throat. Damien buried his face in Mark's lap and started talking. “You are a goddamn idiot with no self preservation instincts, no wonder The AM captured you so easily you probably never even tried to escape, probably too stupid to do so.” Mark realized Damien’s shoulders were shaking.“Are you-” “Shut the fuck up.” Mark took Damien's face in his hands and brought him up to eye level with very little resistance from the other man.“ You can do whatever you want to me,” he whispered wiping a tear from the other mans face with his thumb. “I want you to.”Damien surged forward awkwardly locking lips with Mark. it was still awkward but passion and enthusiasm made up for what skill Damien lacked. As far as Mark knew it was the best kiss in the world. Hands wandered while lips were locked taking of clothing trying to get each others hands on each others skin as swiftly as possible. “Do you want me to teach you how to kiss?” Mark asked a few hours later while Damien played with his hair absentmindedly.“What-” “You’ve never properly kissed anyone before, you don’t know what to do with your tee-Ow” Damien had bit him.“I’ll show you what I can do with my teeth you ass. Of Course I don't’ know how to kiss my only experiences have been with over eager people throwing themselves at me as soon as I feel the slightest bit of lust towards them. I get kissed more than I do the kissing. Not that I owe you any explanation!” He harrumphed and rolled over Mark cuddled into his back and trailed kisses on his shoulder. “I was just offering, I mean I wouldn’t mind if you practiced on me,” He rolled Damien over and kissed him some more.“Mmm If all practice is like that, than sign me up for lessons teach,” he kissed Mark back. This was promptly interrupted by a phone callHe got out of bed and fished around his pants pockets for the phone he looked at the caller. It was his sister. Shit. “Hey Joany,” Mark answered. He listened for a bit then responded “well we haven’t left yet- you see something came up-”“Heh, yeah something sure came up alright,” Damien chuckled from the bed.“No Damien is not troubling me, I know I was supposed to meet you. We are on our way.” He hung up and swatted at Damien's foot that kept tickling the back of his knee. “Get up and get dressed, we are going to be waaayyy late.” They gathered their things throwing away the forgotten food. Mark tossed Damien the keys. A sign of trust Mark hadn't shown in a while.“How do you know I won't-” “Because I can feel what you want, I feel how much you want to stay beside me, I also feel how badly you wish I would shut the fuck up.” Mark grinned as Damien slid into the driver's seat of the car and they pulled out of the small motel together. “What are we going to say to them?” Damien said solemnly staring at the road ahead of them.“Whatever we want,” Mark replied entwining his hand with Damien’s which was resting in the center console. “We have five hours to figure it out.” He lifted his hand to his lips and kissed them softly.“That is disgusting” Damien whined pulling hand back wiping it on his jeans. “You're right" said Mark "who knows where that hand has been- Oh! wait I know! It was in my ow-that fucking hurt” Mark said rubbing the place where Damien had punched. “You kinky bastard stop wanting me to hit you more-” demanded Damien. “I can't help that I like your hands on me,” Mark responded with one of his infectious grins. “The heart wants what the heart wants after all.”
10423503	Hope	{ "Archive Warning": null, "Category": null, "Characters": "Xenomorphs (Aliens), Original Characters, Original Male Character(s)", "Fandom": "Alien Series", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by Yumi", "chapters": "13/13", "completed": "2017-09-13", "published": "2017-03-24T00:00:00", "words": "38,797", "Additional Tags": "Xenophilia, Bestiality, Mpreg, Character Death, Original Character Death(s), Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, Alien Sex, Alien Biology, Science Fiction, Made up places, Fictional Locations, Tragedy, dont regret, not regretting, Empath, Dubious Consent, inaccurate information maybe", "Relationship": "Human/Xenomorph", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "Otromorph", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death", "Categories": "M/M, Other", "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Drones worked closely with the queen. They protected the clutch and did short-distanced excursions to ensure the nest was safe. They took care of the eggs when the young hatched, they ensured that their prey could not escape their fate as carriers. Their smaller sizes allowed mobility to weave through the cracks of their surroundings, and they could sneak around easily.Warriors aided the drones and worked together closely. They were physically stronger, but lacked a little in speed because of their bulk. In times of defence, drones would guard the eggs and Queen. Warriors took the front lines and fought to their last breath. They sacrificed themselves first before the drones came in with numbers.But he was different. He had the benefits of both the drones and warriors - stronger, faster, smarter. That allowed him to be capable enough for travels far from the nest. He’d search for more prey, enemy nests or newer grounds. He’d lead his clan into battles to win several others. He was held in high regard even by the Queen; he awaited the day he became stronger that the Queen’s guards. In the meantime, he did what he did best – he scouted, putting himself in the dangers of the unknown outside of the nest. It had been a single mistake. Curiosity made him fall into a trap. He had been following a scent trail of another life form, to which he hoped could lead to more. It was his task to identify said life form, and coin it prey or predator.He hadn’t expected an object to fall from the sky when a loud noise sounded nearby. Now, he struggled against a heavy criss-crossing object… no, it wasn’t because it was heavy. It seemed to be attached to the ground, judging by the way it would not give as he tried to stand. It fell on top of him from the sky all of a sudden, and the impact forced him on his side. His current position disallowed him to muster the strength to get up.He screeched, but being far from the nest the chances of others his kind being around was low. Qualified scouts like him were low in numbers to begin with. Even the Queen could not be heard because of the distance. He was well and truly on his own this time.He had only himself to depend on. He tried to break the object with his inner jaw, but it kept missing the thinly object holding him captive. He snapped, struggled and clawed, but to no avail. Whatever was keeping him down was effective, and he broke into an irritated hiss when he saw the cause of this.The species was small, about three quarters of his size. They stood on two legs like he did. He knew of these beings. He had heard of their ferocity from the Queen, but only when they held foreign objects in their hands. Without it, they were easy prey; perfect carriers.Sounds erupted from the smaller creatures. They seemed to be conversing. Naturally, he could not understand, because his species used a different form of communication. Gestures, vocalisation, stances… However, the weird sounds they were making would not allow him to know their intentionsThere must be a reason why they had yet to kill him. Perhaps they were deciding what to do with him? Capture him the same way his kind would do and leave him for some other motive? If that was the case…His tail slipped out between the gaps of the criss-crossed object pinning him. Even if he couldn’t move his main body, his tail was just as deadly. The dexterity of his extra appendage was his weapon, and he gave a satisfied hiss when the sharp end of his tail pierced through the soft flesh of the lesser beings. Those that were alive made loud noises, and in return he screeched to threaten.His tail swished dangerously, and none of the other species dared to approach. They had the dangerous objects in their hands, but they weren’t doing anything to hurt him. He understood right away that they wanted him alive. It would be his advantage, because he didn’t need any of them alive to escape.The small creatures were scared; he could tell by their stances. Even though he was trapped, his flaying tail alone made them hesitate to approach him. He would be safe, for now. He would tire eventually, but he would have more time to figure out how to escape, or hold out long as he could. Await another of his kind to pass by who would attack these beings without hesitation. He screeched to try his luck again, but it did not seem to sit well with the beings. They started to shift aside, and one more came into his sight.This one was white, alike the object that fell from the sky every chilly other season where his clan would sleep. It was almost blinding, seeing as he was equipped for poor lighting. His sense of smell picked up something foul, and he drew his lips back in a warning hiss. His tail attempted to stab in the direction that the being approached, but it kept its distance fair from him. In its hand was another dangerous object and he froze.Was this the leader to their clan, perhaps the one who would kill him, then? So be it, then. It was his mistake for being caught by an enemy. Death was a reasonable punishment. He managed a final screech just as something embedded on his arm.Darkness washed over him, and he felt sleepy instead of pain. A soft hiss escaped his open jaw as his entire body went slack. His heavy head fell to the dusty ground, as did his flaccid tail. Whatever the small creature has done was forcing him into sleep, and he couldn’t help but feel anxious about it.Eventually, his mind blanked, but not without the determination of killing the lesser beings. Especially the one in white. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Arius took a deep breath of clean oxygen after exiting the decontamination room. The sudden burst of gaseous aerosol had startled him greatly, as well as the cold air that licked any exposed skin of his, namely the face. It left a weird tingling sensation, as if someone has decided to slap and drag a wet tissue across just to leave the residue to fester. He wiped his cheek with the back of his hand, mildly disgusted by what was indeed condensed sterilised liquid.When he stepped out, he was immediately led by a hand gripped roughly around his elbow. Arius had nearly stumbled, and he let out a soft sigh. These people have got to remember his disability.As much as he would love to adhere to their pace, he couldn’t. Not when the lack of sight, coupled with the fact that he was thrown into an unfamiliar place, disallowed him to. An abnormality during his neonatal period was the cause of his blindness. He’d live his days without knowing what anything truly looked like, only able to map people and objects by touch. It was fine, though. His lack of vision was made up in other senses.His hearing was acute, sharper than anyone he knew, and he could even pick up frequencies outside the normal human range. It irritated him when he was a child, and he would cry out of the blue. It was only after a visit to otologist did he understand why he could hear the sharp noises.His sense of smell was also fantastic, though he felt he could do without it. Well, evolution and its mysterious wonders.Last but not least, the one trait that was also the reason for his presence at Espera’s secret military base, was his ability as a high functioning empath. It was both a gift and a bane. The man who appeared at his doorstep introduced himself as Delgado. No other name, just Delgado. Arius knew that two other men flanking Delgado was military, identified from the heavy crunching of boots. They reeked a little of typical manly odour, attributed to sweat and musky clothing. He let them in when Delgado said he came with private military affairs, and a request. “We need you to communicate with our… prisoner,” Delgado started once he sat on the couch. Arius nursed the cup of tea in his hand as he sat in the single-seater just left of the visitor. He was a naturally cautious person, especially when all he could sense now was the man before him trying to take control of the situation at hand. “What sort of prisoner? Spy?” The brunette questioned. “Classified information cannot be revealed unless you agree to our terms and conditions.”Of course. He had momentarily forgotten that they were military. They were full of ‘classified information’. Who knew what happened behind the closed metal doors. Who wouldn’t be curious, though? “All that I can reveal now is that our prisoner is void of all speaking ability, and that is why we have come to seek your services.” Arius had a feeling that the man wouldn’t leave without ‘yes’ for an answer. Delgado seemed like a pushy guy who always got what he wanted, and if Arius had his sight the presence of the two military men were just to intimidate him into accepting. Arius digested the situation as effectively as he could. They wanted him, an empath, to ‘communicate’ with the prisoner. If he was a foreigner, they would have simply gotten a translator. A beating or two would surely break the prisoner into spilling. However, maybe, just maybe, this prisoner was mute? Had his tongue cut off? “You’re hoping that I can convince him at an emotional level,” Arius concluded.“That is right. I’m starting to believe your so-called ability isn’t just for show,” Delgado gave a clap of a hand that made Arius flinch a second. If he could, he’d roll his eyes but they never existed. “Your looks ain’t half bad either.”“Thank you for the compliment,” Arius replied, more for the former than the latter. He would never know what he looked like anyway. He took a sip of his tea, thinking for a moment. “Would you give me a day’s time to decide?” “No problem with that. Should you wish to join, your time and assistance would be compensated for, of course. I believe you have a debt to pay off? We’re more than happy to assist in that.” Arius knew he visibly stiffened. He should’ve seen that coming. It was no surprise that they would do a thorough background check on him, family included. In a nutshell, his father had incurred something unfavourable. While he was able to pay for it in smaller amounts before, the demands had gotten bigger recently, and he was evidently struggling to pay through his nose. Sly was the only word he could think of right now. He was tempted, no doubt. He was only human after all. The thought of finally being able to be free of monetary issues was pleasing, and all he had to do was communicate with a mute prisoner, right? He’d be in a military base with armed personnel; no harm would come to him. Placing his cup of tea on the table, Arius took a deep breath through his nose and nodded. “O’Klein? Arius?” A voice called out and said person turned to face the direction of who had just spoken. He vaguely remembered the voice, but he couldn’t quite put a finger to it. “Oh man, it really is you! It’s been a while! It’s me, Henderson Oakley.”Henderson Oakley. University classmate. He remembered Oakley to be a large guy, almost jock-like. However, he was a closet-case in the manner that the big, toned guy actually loved romance books and cliché chick films. He had a big heart, helping anyone that crossed his path, and Arius was no exception. In fact, he received a big amount of help from Oakley, considering they had four out of five classes together. The big guy had been patient when they studied together, reading out loud and discussing stuff together. Oakley was almost a best friend to him.They separated after graduation. Oakley joined the special ops, and unfortunately Arius received no contact after. He thought Oakley might have been transferred out of the country, but meeting him again proved otherwise.“It’s been a while,” Arius replied with a smile on his face. He was about to approach his friend when his elbow was roughly tugged, redirecting his attention."Hey, save the chit chat for later", the escort snapped. The guy was impatient, clearly unhappy that he was stuck with babysitting the blind. Arius picked up nervousness as well, and he wondered why."I'll find ya after," Oakley whispered in promise, knowing Arius could hear him despite the noise around them. The brunette nodded in return, before being dragged off to wherever.As they walked through hallways, he made a mental map of where they were heading. Entry had been relatively simple - a few turns, the decontamination room, and more walking after.He'd take note of how his footsteps echoed. It indicated the amount of space surrounding him. He'd pay attention to the hisses of the futuristic doors caused by the difference in air pressure of the underground base (the sunlight kissing his skin went away ten minutes prior to the parking of the vehicle). He'd evaluate the surrounding atmosphere based on the people that he passed. So far it had been calm, idle chatter existing in the far background. He passed a training room at some point, with audible grunting and heavy skin on skin contact like a punch or kick.Arius was stopped eventually and a door hissed open. His escort grumpily told him to enter. He did, but not without a small trip to the raised door frame he obviously couldn’t see. He scowled a little at how the escort had not warned him about it, and collected himself as the door shut behind him.It was relatively quiet, save the soft beeping of machinery that reminded him of a hospital. His hand reached out to his left and came in contact with the cold steel wall. It felt heavily reinforced, and his heartrate accelerated involuntarily.At that moment, Arius half expected have entered the room holding the prisoner, but the thought was caste out quickly when he heard Delgardo welcome him into ‘his humble lair’. There was a creak of a chair, and footsteps indicated the man's approach."Glad you could join us." A hand grasping his shoulder directed his path deeper into the room. Arius was rather thankful that the floor was relatively even, minus some ridges that he could feel catching under the sole of his shoes.Delgado’s grip was strong, meaning he was more than just the scientist Arius thought he was. A skinny, glasses-wearing nerd wouldn't possess such a firm, intimidating hold. While a scientist, Delgado undoubtedly had military blood and experience. Someone with both brawn and brain would always be dangerous.It took him a moment to digest the words Delgado said as he was being steered a few steps forward. “Us”. That meant the prisoner was somewhere near them. He couldn't quite hear a secondary movement, so perhaps the prisoner wasn't here after all."Let me reintroduce myself: I am Delgado, lead scientist of Espera's military base. My current project resides around abstracting information and learning the ways of the specimen I've obtained after years of planning and observation." Delgado released the hand on Arius' shoulder.Odd that he called a prisoner ‘specimen’."I'm an empath, not a telepath," Arius chose to remind the scientist."I am aware," Delgado snorted a little. He departed from Arius’ side and walked over to the farther end of the room, and was clicking some buttons."I am about to introduce to you your patient for the rest of your stay here. He's... feisty, so we cannot allow a face-to-face session. Not yet. We're expecting you to establish… basic communication, so to speak, with him behind the safety of a reinforced isolation ward."This prisoner must be extremely dangerous, Arius thought to himself. Just who in the world was he supposed to be trying to talk to, and what the hell had he just thrown himself into."You're asking me to empathise with someone behind a wall," Arius said flatly, almost annoyed.His ability worked best when he was close to the individual. Touch would help even more. More than that, he needed words; a voice. Arius could understand one better through the tone used. A mute prisoner was challenging enough, but now he had to try to connect with someone through a barrier? Delgado was asking for the impossible at this point."We shall see," Delgado replied. A few more clicks, and the wall to the left of Arius groaned as it elevated into the ceiling, revealing a dimly lit room. For Delgado, he was prouder than a man who had just became a father. To be able to subdue one of the most dangerous extra-terrestrial creatures to exist, where a single one could easily take out an army of trained men. He accomplished what other scientists couldn't; he brought back a live, functioning Xenomorph XX121 specimen.Years of being in the safety of an aerial-docked spaceship allowed him to observe the Xenomorph nest on LV-332, and the habits of its inhabitants. Most clustered within a few clicks of the entrances, ready to defend the nest where needed. However there was a small handful of Xenomorphs, around ten or so, which would wander extremely far from the safety of home.Delgado dubbed them as 'scouts', one category of Xenomorphs that would travel longer distances in search of resources. It took months of mapping out the scouts' patterns, and planned his execution carefully to capture another scout to bring it back to Meteora alive.'Another', because the previous ones captured did not make it through the cryofreeze process. The optimum temperature for cryofreezing seemed to differ between the Xenomorphs, and they finally got one that did not die after the trial thawing.Casualty was kept to the minimum during the capture; the one man who was struck through the chest by the dangerous barbed tail was given the rightful death service, not that it really mattered to him. All that was running through Delgado's head was the success of subduing and housing a live Xenomorph back on Meteroa forty-two light years away.Now back on his home planet Meteora, inside Espera Military Base the Xenomorph was placed in the isolation ward of fifteen by fifteen with three reinforced walls. Dissection of prior dead Xenomorphs allowed Delgado to create a pseudo-material that coated the inner walls, capable of neutralising the Xenomorph's highly acidic blood to a certain extent. The thick six-inch mirror could be switched out of one-way. However, Delgado experienced the reaction of a trapped Xenomorph first hand when it decided to charge head on against the mirror when it could see him. He never switched off the one-way ever since.The only hindering factor preventing his further studies was the severe aggression of the alien. He could drug it, of course, but it defeated the purpose. He wanted to interact with the Xenomorph; possess it, and make it bend to his will. And for that, he needed someone who may have a chance at controlling it.Enter Arius O’Klein. Aged twenty-five, graduated from Esperan University at twenty-three. Lived on his own in a small house off Prince Street 5, and a highly independent individual. Currently working as an assistant to the head psychologist in a simple clinic. He was well-known within the small town of Yeville for being a high-functioning empath, and was favoured by many. The only draw-back was his lack of sight, but at this point, it didn't seem like a drawback at all. The man's blindness meant he couldn’t tell what he was dealing with exactly, and Delgado wouldn't have it any other way.Roping the man in was easy as taking candy from a baby - his father had a debt that was taking too long to settle. The situation would only worsen unless O’Klein had more money in his pocket, but he didn’t. What better way to entice him than to offer to clear the debt once and for all?Delgado paused, his attention shifting to the content of the room through a stained glass. It took a moment to find out where the Xenomorph was, and it was crouching in a corner, tail curled around itself. It reminded him of a cat, frankly. He would’ve thought it cute, if it weren’t for the dangerous tip of the long appendage.It must’ve known that it was being observed, because its lips pulled back into a silent hiss. The room was soundproof, and he could only observe it visually. His fingers itched to do more. He wanted to control it the same way man would with tigers and lions; order it to do things. To kill.There was a shift in O’Kein’s features. He sensed the secondary presence, and looking into the room, the Xenomorph seemed to have too. Slowly, but surely, O’Klein stepped towards the direction of the glass, careful with his steps lest he tripped. A single hand was stretched out before him, searching for a contact point. In one and a half steps he was right before the glass, fingers splayed on the cold surface. He completed his approach with one more step, and his jaw slacked a fraction.The Xenomorph unfurled itself, taking its first two strides on all fours. It rose up after, towering O’Klein behind the glass. It was calm, non-threatening as it tilted its head. Delgado made a quick check the panels of buttons. So far, the setting of the mirror was one-way, meaning the Xenomorph would only see a mild reflection of itself at best. The image of O’Klein should be shrouded by the black screen.It was slow and almost agonising, but Delgado's face twitched when he saw the Xenomorph inside the room lean forward to lay the crown of its head against where the empath's open palm was. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Curiosity. That was the very emotion he felt after placing his fingers on the glass. Arius couldn't tell if it was his. It truly may have been, but at the same time it felt foreign –different. There were lesser emotions, but they were masked by this in particular. The others were too complicated to describe; too brief to be identified.He wondered if it was possible for him to be able to 'read' someone through a wall. He had never tried. There was no concrete evidence he could, yet he didn't want to deny that something was happening. He'd never been a skeptic. Anything and everything could happen in his mind. Arius shifted his hand, dragging the pads of his digits across the material that seemed to be glass. It felt different from normal glass. It seemed stronger and more durable than most he had come across. He was almost tempted to rap his knuckles just to test the dexterity of the material.He sensed it again. The same curiosity. It was following him, heightening his senses. His mind searched for more hints to the prisoner's emotions. It was like rummaging a hand in a pocket and not knowing what could be pulled out. Over a few seconds, the curiosity seemed to have died and Arius froze when he started picking up something negative. It was a sudden surge of anger and it cut through him like a knife. It wasn't physically painful, but resembled more of a discomfort that ate at his being. Arius yelped when there was an audible slam coming from behind the glass. His hand retreated in reflex and he shuffled away. The sound was extremely dull, indicating how thick the glass was because he was sure that the resonance of the force could have shattered a weaker version. It probably felt louder in his ears as his hearing was significantly better.“Back up!” Delgado barked and Arius heeded. Subsequently, he heard the hissing of mechanisms and he presumed that the steel wall had descended to cover the glass barrier between him and the prisoner. Everything fell silent again, leaving the silence to only be intermittently interrupted by the same soft beeps Arius heard when he first entered Delgado's room.The brunette's head hung low, conserving his thoughts from when he made some sort of connection with the prisoner. He absently rubbed the pads of his fingers with the thumb of his other hand. He heard Delgado abandon the key panels at the corner. The man had returned to his chair, and was furiously scribbling by the sounds of scratching. It ceased when Arius spoke."Just how dangerous is he?" The brunette questioned where he stood.“Dangerous enough,” Delgado sniffed, before continuing his writing.Arius gave an inaudible sigh. He couldn't help but feel like he was dealing with an animal, and not something remotely human. The feelings he sensed were superficial. There was a complexity in them for sure, but that was only because it was a juvenile mix that disallowed him to properly sort the emotions. He could only pick up the dominant one at any point, and even there it was still hanging on a blurred scale.“I think you're placing too much faith in my ability in communicating with such a dangerous individual.” The empath paused. He looked back on his previous experience in his profession and carefully mapped out the steps he could take to help the situation. He didn't want to give up just yet.“Does he have a name? It would be easier if I can get some form of basic information.” Arius wasn't too fond of having to keep calling him 'prisoner'. It was degrading for his tastes despite it being a fact. Arius heard the scientist give a loud snort as if he had just pulled a bad joke.“Well, not really.” A pregnant pause lingered in the air and Arius waited for any follow-up to the conversation. “I guess you could call him Spike?”This time, it was Arius who wanted to give a snort, but he opted for a mental sigh instead.It was clear that Delgado saw the prisoner -Spike- as someone lesser than he was. Or to be exact, he saw himself on a pedestal high above others. Which was fine - Delgado wasn't the first man he had met whose ego was bigger than the fist he could swallow.“Spike it is,” echoed Arius. It was better than mentally and verbally calling him 'prisoner'. In fact, it puzzled why Delgado had yet to provide him any background information on Spike. Not a name (not until he asked), not an age nor an origin. He had even referred to the latter as 'specimen', which made Arius think carefully of what exactly Spike might have been. It was a rare point in his life where Arius had wished he had his sight.Although he couldn't see and knew Delgado wasn't watching by the sound of scribbling, he turned to face the wall that covered the isolated room. His thoughts drifted back to the contact between Spike and him. It was interesting because the emotions he was getting from Spike seemed latent, almost slow. As if he took a while to process what was happening before truly reacting to it.“Can Spike see us?” Arius questioned out loud. He heard Delgado audibly readjust where he sat, and he picked up a hint of nervousness in the air. It was covered up almost immediately, and the man cleared his throat.“There is a one-way mirror that can be switched off. Why do you ask?”"This 'Spike'... His mental functionality is almost child-like: slow, messy and inconsistent. Is he even an adult? Is he even human?""You don't need to know. Just do what you're asked to," Delgado snapped and Arius jumped at the sound of the chair roughly dragging across the floor. Delgado must've rose from it too quickly in apprehension.Arius gritted his teeth, withholding from speaking further. The last thing he'd want happening now was to anger the scientist and risk being dismissed from the task over a petty matter. Initially, he would've been for the reward, but now that he knew of Spike's existence, he needed to know more. Curiosity. "I will let you know what you need to know, when you need to." Delgado changed the topic after: "While you're here, I will observe the sessions, naturally. Outside your designated hours, you're free to use the facilities such as the gym or library. An escort will be with you at all times, except for the privacy of your bunker. Just a quick reminder that you are not allowed to speak of anything from here, even with other people within this base." Arius gave a nod not knowing if Delgado was watching him. He had so many questions running through his head, and he wasn’t even sure if he could even get answers. When Arius was left alone in his assigned bunk, he let out a big sigh he had been holding back. His hand thread through his short, brown hair (his mother described it as ‘chestnut’, whatever that colour was). The short contact with Spike had been draining enough, and he’d expect it to be more so in the future.Carefully, Arius started mapping out the small room. It wasn’t big, probably half the size of his room in Yeville. To the left of the doorway was another door leading to a private bathroom. He almost let out a curse when his knee bumped into the edge of the toilet. He hadn’t expected it to be so tiny, but he should have. Closing the door required him to slink around the edge, and he wondered how the other beefy military men use such a tiny space. Then again, they probably had a communal shower to which he’d whole-heartedly avoid.The contents of his bunk were basic so to say the least, with a single bed shoved to the far right corner from the door and a small double-level drawer planted next to it. Almost immediately next to the dresser, situated on the left corner of the room close to the bathroom door was a small table and a chair. His large army-issued duffel (they refused to let him use his own backpack) was on top of it and he took the chance to unpack. He was halfway into the task when he paused.Even before the knock on his door happened, he had been facing the door. The footsteps weren’t inconspicuous the least bit. Arius anticipated the knocking on the door, and he called for his visitor to enter. He doubted it was Delgado since the man had swiftly ushered him out and said that he was dismissed for the rest of the day.“Hey, how's everything been?” Oakley’s familiar voice filled the room after the door opened and Arius relaxed instantly. If there was anyone he could be chill around, it was definitely his old university friend.“Not too bad,” Arius fished out an empty note book from his bag that would serve as a diary for his time here. He placed it in the upper drawer of the dresser before turning to face Oakley.“And you? You didn’t find me after graduation. I was pretty upset, and I didn’t know if I should’ve contacted you.”“Ah… About that…” Oakley trailed off, and Arius heard the other shuffling about. He was nervous, and was that embarrassment he sensed? “Back then I was a little scared I guess? ‘Cuz after graduation I heard you got hooked up with Chelsea from the other block. Didn’t wanna be a third wheeler, man.”“Oh, that,” Arius couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. “It didn’t work out. I obviously couldn’t keep up with her. Honestly, I didn’t think I was ready to commit, you know with the disability and all. We didn’t last very long. A month or so, give or take. Guess I wasn’t able enough.”A soft thump on his arm and a snort from Oakley showed that he wasn’t impressed. “Man, you’re too good for someone with the likes of her.”“Doesn’t really matter to me,” the brunette laughed. It was nice to be able to converse with at least one normal person in this foreign place. Chances were he’d be leeching short moments of normalcy like these as an anchor for his duration here.“What about yourself? You entered the army right after.”“Sort of an influence, actually. I’ve been thinking of joining all the while during school days. Just didn’t really voice it out. My grandfather and father both served different departments of the military. My time in university was just to get a degree to fall back to if the army didn’t accept my application.”“With your record, I don’t see why they wouldn’t accept you to be honest,” Arius chuckled. Oakley wasn’t the top in class but he was relatively intelligent. He played heaps of sports that resulted in his physique (perhaps he was bigger now?).A sheepish laugh escaped Oakley and Arius gave a small yelp of surprise when he was hooked round the neck and crushed against a body resembling a brick wall. Yes, definitely bigger now. And stronger.“Yeah you know me, a big guy with an equal amount of chicken!”Indeed, Arius could definitely vouch that fact. Oakley was honest by the least, admitting his soft spot for kittens and glitter pens. And his exaggerated phobia of grasshoppers.Arius gave the arm around his neck a few taps, and Oakley let go. He left his arm to drape, and Arius savoured the familiar contact between friends. Comfort flooded through his system and he could finally truly relax for the first since he had stepped into Espera Military Base without worry. He could take the chance to learn more, however.“What do you know of the ‘lead scientist Delgado’?” Arius kept his tone neutral as much as possible, making the conversation sound as casual as possible."Let's just say people tend to avoid him because of the crazy doc persona," Oakley snorted. "He's pretty well-known in the base because of his eccentric-ness, and most of us just pretend he ain't there. Keeps to himself most of the time. Heard he gets funded heaps to do his stuff, and recently he has gotten his hands on something that keeps him cooped up in his lab. Only a small handful of people know what he’s up to.” Oakley scratched his head. “We’re not allowed to poke around his business. He’s in a different league above us military personnel and we act as guards. Just do what we’re told to, typical soldier stuff.”Arius nodded in understanding. He’d have to learn about Delgado on his own then. The man seemed to handle his stuff independently, and he wasn’t aware of any assistants to the scientist. He had yet to meet one thus far.“What are you here for anyway? Did they recruit you to be a counselor or something?”Arius couldn’t reveal what he was doing, as much as he’d like to share it with Oakley. For a second there, he was glad Oakley hadn’t asked about why he wanted to know more about Delgado.But that meant more questions would go unanswered for him.“Something like that.” In the morning after breakfast, Arius entered Delgado’s room with more confidence than he carried the day before. He treaded slowly to the centre of the room where he recalled to be empty as Delgado walked over to him. The scientist had papers in his hands and he shuffled through them, arranging perhaps.“I’ve continued observing Spike since you left yesterday. Compared to the weeks that he’s been here, his level of activeness has significantly increased.”Arius had to raise a brow hearing that. “How was he like before, then?”“On the day of his arrival, he was violent. Scratching and slamming the walls, shrieking. He caused quite a ruckus and only settled 48 hours after. Since then, he’d corner himself and hardly move except to occasionally feed. Within the last twelve of your absence, he had been pacing, waiting.”Arius wanted to comment that Spike was described similarly like an animal, but kept his lips sealed. It would’ve been too crazy for Delgado to hire him at such high price just to communicate with an animal. Besides, the emotions he picked up before was above an animals’, much more complex, but at the same time simpler compared to a person at normal functioning levels. He deduced that Spike might just be an individual with some special needs of sort. What kind of information would Delgado extract out of Spike, though?“If Spike has always been in isolation, and nearly weeks as you’ve mentioned, it would be unremarkable for him to show little response. I presume that no one has made any contact with him prior to my presence?”“It has always been him and me only.” It came as no surprise to the brunette. If all Delgado did was observe Spike through the safety of a one-way mirror, nothing could be established. Spike wouldn’t have been able to interact with anyone, and they would cause him to sink into possible depression and feeling of solitude. It would take a while for him to escape the confines of isolation, but that was why Arius was here.“May I make a request?” The empath said out loud. He took a soft grunt as approval and continued: “I’d like you to remove the one-way mirror function. I would like to allow him to see who exactly he’s facing.”“You’re jumping the gun,” Delgado grunted as he approached the key panels for the wall. His words hadn't matched the attitude given.“We might as well not dawdle and start now,” Arius took a deep breath as he heard buttons being clicked, followed by groaning of the wall panel being retracted.Almost instantly, there was an odd sensation coddling his mind. It wasn’t strong, but it was being directed at him for sure. It was similar to the day before.Arius approached the glass and didn’t hesitate putting his hand on the cold surface. He could feel Spike approaching closer and in response, his reception of the other individual’s emotions was stronger. In a matter of seconds, he could sense the other standing right before him. Flickering emotions etched into Arius’ mind, and he embraced them, picking them out to analyse. He hadn’t even heard Delgado speaking.“I’m removing the one-way function. He will be able to see you in three… two…”Delgado’s voice faded to white noise to him. Arius placed his full focus on what he could feel. Again, the bulk of it was simply curiosity. It was calm, almost playful. It elevated at some point, and Arius was sure that Spike was able to see him then. His only disappointment was that he couldn’t return the favour.Was that some sort off muffled crooning he could barely hear?“Interesting. He’s never actively responded this way,” Arius heard Delgado speak softly to himself. The shuffling of shoes told him that the scientist was walking over, and that was when Arius felt a pinch - surge of anger spiked his core and Arius felt his concentration snap. The emotions blew up exponentially and it made him flinch as it roared to life in his head.He heard Delgado rush back to the panels swiftly, and there was an audible beep before fear and pain struck through his core. Any prior aggression was replaced in a heartbeat. Arius barely held back a shout as he processed a reaction that did not belong to him, but were Spike’s emotions amplified through pure agony.“What did you do!?” Arius demanded to know, snapping his head in the direction of the key panels where Delgado stood.Delgado defended himself with an unimpressed growl. “It’s a punishing mechanism I’ve installed. Once he steps out of line, it is issued.”“That isn’t a positive reinforcement,” Arius hissed out, angry. Part of it wasn’t his. He was thankful that the pain faded, but left soreness in its wake. A cowering feeling. “What made you use it?”“Spike here was directing an undesirable attitude in my direction,” Delgado huffed out, as if stating the obvious. Like resorting to a slap to the face of a kid who did a childish pout. Completely unnecessary. “If you wish for me to do my job, you must promise not to interfere. Any external influences can jeopardise the process and situation, and I guarantee you it’ll take a longer time and more effort to rectify it.”Delgado grunted but remained silent. Arius placed his hand against the glass again, whispering with a low voice. He hoped his own emotions and body language would make Spike settle down.Said individual wavered, cautious. It was clear he didn’t want the punishment again and hesitated his approach. It took a fair amount of coaxing before Spike came close again. There was a split second’s divided attention.“It’s ok, focus on me,” Arius muttered, bringing his nails to claw the glass discretely. He made small movements to catch Spike’s attention. When he did, he shifted his hand, and he could tell Spike had completely ignored Delgado by the corner. The atmosphere fell silent and calm. Arius deduced that Delgado needed to steer clear out of Spike’s sight in the meantime. His presence seemed to set him off out of whatever spite existed between them. The man must’ve done something to cause Spike to cause him to rile up so quickly. He needed to find out what caused it to be able to address the problem and subsequently appease Spike. Everything would fall into shambles if either party caused havoc at any point in time.It was clear that Spike was not fond of Delgado the least bit, and Arius shared the same sentiments. Nevertheless, he intended to focus on Spike, not the scientist. “You’re alright,” Arius felt rather silly speaking in the manner he would with a child, but at this point he couldn’t care less. “You’ll be fine.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Arius found that he could only retain Spike's focus if Delgado wasn't around. Even though the empath was always kind with his words, the one thing he wouldn't stand for was his work being disrupted. It happened three times over the course of an hour that Arius lost Spike's attention and resulted in a sharp increase of aggression. Delgado's 'observation' was proving to cause disturbances and Arius had to be professional about it at the best of his abilities. He told Delgado that his presence would not help.The scientist blew up, naturally, and like a spoilt child stormed out the room after muttering inaudible curses. Arius winced at the stomping down the hallway, sure that he had heard someone shuffled quickly out of the man's way.At least everything should be peaceful now.Spike's attention was back on him, that he could tell for sure. The individual's emotions had always been fluttering around being curious, wondering what exactly Arius was up to.On his side of the boat, Arius had been merely projecting calming words, repeating it both verbally and in his mind. His body language remained slacked, un-threatening and small. He used his hand as a gauge to see if Spike was following, and now that Delgado was out of the room, he could run a few more experiments which he would prefer doing alone so as to not feel awkward.Slowly, he took a step forward, keeping his hand on the glass. Spike's curiosity increase a fraction, but it didn't break his concentration. Arius skirted his hand along the glass, and once it was too far behind he abruptly shifted it forward.Spike had surged forward a step, following his hand. It was a good sign and Arius smiled to himself at his achievement.“You're doing really well,” he complimented out loud. He wasn't sure if Spike could hear, much less understand him. Arius simply imagined Spike to be some sort of foreigner, maybe indigenous of a lower IQ scale. But even such beings had emotions, and that was how he was building the trust on; feelings alone.Arius just wished he could make some sort of skin contact to be able to register more.The front of the brunette's foot hit a structure and it startled him for a second. Using his other hand, Arius found himself finding the cold metal surface of said object. His hand travelled up and he realised that the had just hit the panels which were likely the controls to the isolated room.Instantly, anger streamed through his mind and he realised that it orginated from Spike. The individual comprehended that the panels could cause him pain and Arius took a step away from it, placing both his hands on the glass at the level of his chest.“It's okay. I'm not going to do anything,” he reassured the other, smiling. “I'm not him. I won't hurt you.”His actions seemed to have appeased Spike and Arius let out a soft sigh. He tread across to the other end of the glass, and couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle when Spike followed closely.“You're like an inquisitive puppy,” Arius tapped the glass twice, receiving slight elation.“I'm wondering why you're here. It doesn't seem like Delgado wants to get information out of you. You don't seem like you've got anything to hide,” the empath trailed off. He turned to lean his back against the glass, tilting his head and resting it against the surface. He was starting to tired mentally from the constant need to remain 'connected'.“Free...” Arius found the word slipping out of his mouth absently. He caught himself and backed away from the glass, facing Spike. The latter was standing right behind where he was; he could feel it.“You want to get out.”He wasn't sure if he has heard right, but there was a subtle noise escaping from the room which housed Spike. Arius placed his ear against the glass, hoping he could pick up on something. All he managed to hear was the sound of a low hissing, followed by a soft whine that tugged his heart. Sympathising with his patients was what Arius had always been doing. He's put himself in their shoes, and with the aid of the emotions they projected to him, he'd learn to understand. “I know how you feel” were the words he could actually say without offending them. But this was the first time he'd come to empathise with one of lower functionality, and a jailed one to boot. He was certain that professionally, he shouldn't be taking a side.Arius gave a sigh and placed his writing instrument on the table. It would be a while before he could pen down his thoughts since they were currently in a mess. It was tangling up, and the more he fiddled with it, the more knots were going to incur.He went over to the door and it slid open after Arius touched the control panel to the side. He was greeted by a cheerful voice, eager to come to his aid.“I'd like to drop by at the canteen,” he requested as nicely as he could. He could really use coffee right now.The escort today was 'Jim'. He was nicer than the one he had met on day one 'Lexon'. Jim was younger, a chatterbox, and Arius took pleasure in talking to him about matters outside confidentiality. It was usually casual stuff like favourite TV shows (he couldn't watch, but he could listen) or sharing good music.Arius knew how to get to the canteen, but as ordered, he was to have an escort with him all the time. He begun a conversation with Jim about having patients with PTSD when the soldier asked if he was here as a counselor.“Never had a soldier per say, but I reckon it might be a little difficult because of some things they may not be able to reveal,” Arius hummed. They were in the elevator, taking it up with three other passengers who were completely silent during the ride. He could feel their scrutinising gazes, but he retained a small smile on his face.They exited the elevator before the others, and Jim took the lead with Arius following closely behind him, and Jim continued their conversation:“Yeh, I know what you mean. Lots of stuff goes around on this base in particular because it houses a lot of air craft that are capable of travelling light years away. You know, those big ass ships with high powered thrusters? They make a hell lot of noise and the whole base shakes with a magnitude 10!”Arius laughed at the exaggerated value before continuing: “I am aware Espera Military Base is equipped with some nifty technology. Indulge me a little, have they been using the space crafts actively?”“Dwindling resources means we're gonna have to find other planets to fill up, right? But they say lots of stuff roam the other planets, so we're going to need to find more effective ways of clearing unknown populace,” Jim babbled on. “They're trying to make some sort of effective weaponry, or at least some sort of 'thing' that can scout the planets before making a landing.”“Don't they have mechanical drones and such?”Jim gave a loud snort. “Apparently conditions on other planets are so bad that bots won't cut it. Apparently they're planning to use something more... alive, y'know, like a sniffer?”Arius couldn't quite catch the reference, but gave a soft 'hm' in response. When they reached the canteen, he treated Jim to a cup and they sat down debating which pasta fitted which sauce bases better. “You want me to what?” Arius couldn't believe his ears. Hearing the words just said, he couldn't help but break the concentration he had with Spike. He could feel the latter turning mildly upset when he lost his attention, but Arius had no choice but to focus on the verbal conversation taking place.“It's been a week, and you seem to be doing fine with this fella. The board wants to know its progress, and that's where you come in,” Delgado spoke of it so casually, it was highly disturbing.“A week is only the beginning. Yes, Spike has been calm in my presence but we do not know what may happen after.” Arius clicked his tongue. He recalled how much effort it took to get Spike used to Delgado's presence alone. Every day, he'd try introducing the scientist in the room for various lengths of time. It had only been two days since he could hold Spike's fullest attention and completely ignore the other man in the room.Arius took a deep breath. He had to approach this slowly.“What are they expecting?” A crooning was barely heard and the hand by his side was placed against the glass. Spike settled upon seeing his hand, and he gave it two taps as a positive reinforcement.“You'll find out.” - Not quite the answer he'd hope to hear at this point.The empath sensed a shift in the atmosphere and he jumped when he heard thundering footsteps along the hallway. The door leading into Delgado's lab was opened, and Arius yelped when gloved hands grabbed his arms.“Delgado, what's going on!?” He tried to struggle through the vice grips, but failed.“To see if there is actual progress. I tire of waiting.”Panic flooded the Arius' mind. He had no idea what was happening as he was being dragged out of Delgado's lab and hauled through the base. Arius had no choice but to follow or risk his shoulders dislocating as they manhandled him through door after door. He could hardly keep his footing when he was tossed into somewhere unknown, holding back a cry when he hit the floor on his shoulder.“You'll have to pardon the rudeness, O'Klein, but we're quite short on time,” Delgado's voice sounded overhead, probably through some sort of speaker system. It was muffled with a hint of static, and Arius gritted his teeth angrily as the voice continued. “A week may be short for your little 'bonding' session, but it was a lot wasted for me. You do know time is money.”The sound of another door being opened hissed, and Arius stiffened. It was coming from another direction and not the one he'd been cast through. He had little idea of what to anticipate, but he had a gut feeling it would include Spike. Were they finally going to meet face-to-face, just to see what the individual might do? Seeing that Spike was cooped up in such a reinforced place, it was established that he was dangerous, and now Delgado was throwing him straight into the fire.Arius tried to calm himself, but failed utterly when he heard a soft thud coming from the other end of the place he was thrown in. He must've been placed in a room next to Spike's to allow him to access. It sounded like... footsteps, but nothing close to that of a person. It was padded, soft and careful, unlike the rough and heavy kind a person would usually make. In fact, it hadn't even sounded like a person, and Arius paled when he pieced things together.A fortified room, Delgado's way of calling him 'specimen', and the intelligent but lower-functioning thoughts... Spike wasn't even human. He was stupid to not have realised this sooner. But what exactly was he about to face, then?Arius could feel his hands trembling as he remained frozen on the ground. He could hear, feel Spike drawing closer. It was as he had expected – without a wall between them, Spike's emotions rocketed in his mind. There was no hostility yet, but he couldn't ensure the same for later. The familiar curiosity tingled under his skin, and Arius held his breath.The best he could do now was to remain unmoving, and pray hard that his efforts of the week interacting with Spike would pay off. He didn't dare to move, much less speak. Every second the sensations coursing through his mind grew stronger, while Spike's physical form shifted closer. Arius' nails dug into the flesh of his palms, clenching his jaw so hard that it ached.Spike was looming directly above him. He could smell the other. It was tangy, almost foul. He couldn't quite describe it, but it was bearable though unpleasant. Spike was emitting a peculiar heat, and it clouded his personal space more than he'd be comfortable with. He had yet to move an inch from his spot from where he laid.Arius could feel his own fear overload his system, rendering him too crippled to read Spike. He had never felt himself being this afraid in his entire life. Spike was not human. The dangerous, abnormal sounding hiss above his ear was enough to prove it.And out of the blue, the hiss was gone. Instead, a soft grumbling replaced it, and Arius jumped when something wet touched the side of his neck. He reached up to touch in reflex, and his fingers were met with some sort of slime that was cool compared to his warm digits. The amount wasn't a lot, but enough to make him grimace in mild disgust.This time, there was a forceful push against his shoulder and Arius ended up propped on an elbow and the side of his hip. He reached out this time, and he stiffened when he made first contact of Spike's physical body.It was covered with the same slick material that touched his neck, like some sort of moisturiser gone old. Aside from that, Spike's skin was smooth, but underneath that smoothness he could tell were solid muscles. He couldn't tell which part of the other he came in contact with, but Spike didn't seem to mind his hand.In fact, Spike was letting out soft rumbling noises, as if in approval. Finally being able to touch Spike allowed the empath to read even better as his own emotions calmed down. Spike was contented, relaxed and perhaps even glad. Sensing this, it brought a smile to Arius' face, and slowly but surely, he shifted to sit up instead.The hand touching Spike shifted, and Arius held both hands out, searching blindly.“Come,” he bid softly. To his surprise, Spike did.He shoved what seemed to be his head into the open palms of Arius' hands, albeit quite roughly as if not knowing his own strength. What Arius could tell was that Spike was massive. The supposed head in his hands took a while to map out.He felt a large, smooth forehead that lacked any form of hair. His fingers admired the squarish jawline as they trailed along. The brunette winced when he nearly pricked his finger on a set of sharp canines. Overall, it seemed like an alienated form of a human face.Ah, so that was what Spike was. An alien.It made sense since the military had means to access other planets. Spike was probably something picked up from another world.“But you're surprisingly nice, for something dubbed 'dangerous',” Arius said gently as he stroked the smooth forehead. It was only further along that he felt sharp ridges, to which he reminded himself not to come close to or risk experiencing pain.Spike shifted and shoved his entire head into Arius' body, and the brunette could hear noises that resembled crooning. He completely ignored how Spike's oily slime-like secretions was getting all over his shirt and pants. The large head rose up and bumped against the side of Arius', earning a soft chuckle. He came to appreciate the rather animalistic affection.However, the moment hadn't lasted when Arius heard the door he came through opening, and everything happened so quickly within a split second. The crunching of military boots indicated that people were invading the room. Spike started to hiss aggressively in response. Arius yelped when something long wrapped around his midsection, and he barely found the balance standing on his two feet when he was being pulled forward.Was that a tail?“Get back you ugly son ova' bitch!” A deep voice shouted, and Arius shouted when a sudden rush of air was blasted his way. It was cold. Extremely cold, and it felt like it was scalding his skin.Spike's fury could be read like an open book and Arius winced when the alien let out a deafening screech to ward off the soldiers. It was mixed with a cry of pain, but it seemed like Spike wasn't giving in without a fight. Arius couldn't help but let out a gasp when the appendage around his waist tightened to the point that he struggled to breath. Protect. It finally clicked and Arius understood what Spike was trying to do.The whirlpool of emotions radiating from everyone within the confines of the room was making his head hurt. The soldiers were still yelling in an excruciating volume while Spike was returning a bombardment of inhuman pitches. Anger, pain, fear. It was pure chaos and Arius couldn't breathe.“Stop, just stop!” He finally screamed and thankfully, everything did. The men ceased using the weapon they wielded, and Spike's initial screeches died to a low growl. The tail loosened a little, and Arius took his first comfortable breath.“Spike, Spike,” Arius called out, trying to get the alien's attention. A single hand of his flailed, hoping that it would be seen. He wasn't sure if Spike even knew his pseudo-name, but he tried anyway. “Let go, it's okay.” While he wasn't sure if the language barrier would prove difficult, he kept his emotions in check as an assurance.“They're not going to hurt me, and I'm not going to let them hurt you,” he whispered as his fingers reached up and found the solid jawline under the set of menacing teeth. He gave it a few soothing rubs, tugging it slightly with whatever friction possible between his fingers and the moist, rubbery skin. Spike followed his lead, and as risky as it was, he dropped his head sideways to meet the other's cheek. Or at least, where it might've been.“Spike, let go,” the empath tried again, speaking slower this time. This time, the alien heeded and his tail loosened slowly, but surely. He gave him a pat for listening. “I know you don't want to, but you'll need to let me leave. I'm not going to get hurt, but if you try to stop them, you will be, and I don't want that.”A low hiss escaped Spike and Arius opted for a slightly more aggressive approach to get his message through. He clasped the sides of Spike's head, putting their foreheads together. Go. I'll be okay. I'll be back. The contact lasted several seconds, with only his heartbeat as background noise. Arius didn't even care of soldiers who stood behind him, neither did he care if he was possibly watched through another one-way mirror or a camera. He did what he felt was necessary, and hoped that his emotions went through to the other being.Spike let out a loud hiss of dissatisfaction, but Arius picked up a sense of defeat. The alien stepped back and away from his hands, leaving the slight grime to linger. Arius listened carefully to the weight and direction of the unusual footsteps, and was mentally relieved when they indicated that Spike was retreating back into the room he had stepped out from.Arius heard the door seal close and he collapsed to his knees, hanging his head. “There you have it, gentlemen. We have successfully tamed XH-022 with the aid of Arius O'Klein.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- In his bunk, Arius was seated on his somewhat comfortable bed. He had taken a shower, and took the chance to hand-wash his grime-slicked clothing.He felt as if he was forced to come to terms that Spike was not a human being. Or anything remotely close to that. His shock wasn't due to finding out Spike was an alien, but more of realising how far they had come to mutually connect despite being alien.Oakley happened to drop by later that day. From the moment he stepped in, he knew something was up. He coaxed his friend slightly, seeing if he wanted to speak.Although he was bound by contract, Arius succumbed to the urge for the need to confide. Even if he was supposed to be his own doctor, he needed someone else to hear him. Arius genuinely needed his friend’s help, and he wasn’t going to lie about anything.“Delgado's been hiding an alien in his lab,” Arius admitted, fingers interlocked with each other. “I don't know where he came from, but I'm sure he's not from here. Spike feels too... dangerous of a species to possibly exist alongside humanity. I don't even think he's from Meteora.”“I've heard rumors of him keeping a pet but whoah, I didn't expect it to be true,” Oakley, seated beside him, whistled. “And something from outer space, huh...”“Oak, I feel his emotions. He wants out.”The soldier let out a loud sigh and shifted where he sat. “Arius, you're receiving the thoughts from a caged animal. Alien, whatever. Of course it wants to be free. You can't... confuse yourself like this. Think about what would happen if it got loose?”"I understand, I'm not trying to free him from the base. He just... doesn't belong here. He shouldn't even be here. We don't know what the consequences are if anything should happen, yeah?"“Arius, I know you're concerned for the well-being of this... Spike-thing, but don't you think you should let the scientists, y'know, do their mad stuff?”“I can't bring myself to allow Delgado to do what he wishes. It's just too suspicious. First, he never never warned me on who my 'patient' was. Next, he didn't hestiate a single moment when he decided to throw me into the same room as Spike, without any form of protection. Something's happening, Oak. I just don't know what it could be.”Oakley sighed and Arius felt a dip on his bed. The soldier sat next to him and ruffled his hair. He was concerned, nervous and confused, and Arius could understand why. His own emotions weren't too different as thoughts fogged his mind.“I'll do whatever snooping I can, but I can't promise anything.”Arius nodded. “That's all I can ask for.”-------Arius stood in the centre of the room, mildly nervous to be in it once more. Recalling what had happened recently made him think twice about being in this position again. However, it was the only way he could get close to Spike. To be able to interact with the alien figure without any barriers and be able to completely read him through feelings.The empath braced himself as the door that separated them lifted, and Arius could hear the bizarre footsteps. They headed his direction without hesitance, but also without aggression. He was relieved for that. It had been a thought that Spike may have just forgotten about who he was every time they interacted. Arius wondered if Spike was able to visually recognise him (he didn't recall touching any features that remotely resembled eyes) or through other senses. He reckoned through the former, since Spike could respond to his hand very quickly.“Spike," Arius called with his hand out, palm down. The rubbery texture of Spike's skin caressed his, and he smiled. "Hey big guy." A sense of contentment warmed his soul.Arius felt odd speaking the way he did. It was as if he was speaking to a child or an animal, using simple words and a gentle tone. He didn't find himself disliking it, however, and found that Spike responded in kind. The alien was rubbing against his hand, showing affection and being contented by his presence alone. In fact, he was sure Spike was crooning, and it was a weird rumbling noise.Slowly, Arius lowered himself to sitting with his legs crossed. He expected himself to be stuck here for a long while, but he didn't care. He was more than happy to be here with an alien than a mad scientist who wallowed in his own selfishness and desires.Arius sat quietly to see how Spike would respond. The alien seemed to have circled him, bumping him occasionally in several places with the large forehead. Eventually, he seemed to have found a spot, and Ariushad a toothy smile on his face when he felt Spike plop his large head onto his lap.The alien's large body circled him where he sat, and Arius stiffened for a second when he felt the muscled tail wrap around his core. It was long enough to make two full loops. He decided to explore the alien physiology from there. Carefully, Arius traced the appendage coiled around his waist, and his fingers would catch deep ridges. By luck, he found the end, and it was like an extended teardrop with a dangerous, curved and pointed end. It reminded Arius of an arrowhead.Arius had been conscious of Spike's emotions as his digits fiddled about. So far, the alien was relaxed, not the least minding the touches. In fact he seemed to enjoy the attention, and Arius was tempted to call him a puppy.He started from Spike's head again, completely oblivious to the moisture seeping through his clothing. The large head was nestled just against the crook of where his legs met, heavy on his thighs. It was bearable for now, but Arius was sure his legs would cramp up and he'd have to move.Arius had a chance to map out Spike's facial features, so he'll skip on that. He followed the jawline and brushed along the length that was the neck, reaching a solid mass that was the shoulders. Arius came to noticed that this alien species was heavy ridged in various places: crown, shoulders, chest... He managed to find the hand that had six long digits, but the four in the middle were syndactyly as pairs.The empath couldn't reach anywhere lower that the waist with the way Spike had curled around him. His hands returned to pampering the head, to which Spike let out a satisfied croon. Hearing it Arius couldn’t help but relax, and found his back pressed against the large body. It was a little bony for his tastes, but it felt better to lean against a surface. Spike didn’t seem to mind the added weight and Arius found himself drifting, tired of all the things that have been happening.Arius hadn’t even realised that he had fallen asleep at some point. He stirred to odd noises and he realised Spike was whining. Worry clouded his mind and he realised that it wasn’t him feeling it.“Sorry, sorry. It’s ok, I’m not dead. I was just sleeping,” his hands searched about, and started stroking the smoother parts of Spike’s head. “Did you think I was dead?” He chuckled.A low grumble made Arius take it as a ‘yes’ and he chuckled. “No, when you sleep, you don’t move either. It’ll make it look like you’re dead, but in truth, your heart still beats. Only if it stops are you dead.”Arius felt silly trying to talk to the alien with such depth. He wasn’t even sure if Spike understood him up to this day. Nevertheless, he continued speaking, practising his hand gestures which would make Spike follow closely. Using gestures was the easiest he could think of for now, but he wasn’t a hundred percent sure that Spike would following when they weren’t alone. He was afraid of the other getting distracted easily, and it the results of a dangerous alien running amuck was not a pleasant thought.----Delgado forced a change of location for his third subsequent meet up with Spike. It seemed like they were able to transport Spike into larger room somehow. At this point, Spike was like a puppy, approaching him the moment Arius was shoved into the room.Arius calmed the alien, stroking along the cheeks. His lips thinned when he heard several people shuffling in from the opposite end. He almost felt Spike about to launch himself but Arius managed to plant himself between, calling out a loud 'stop!'. Spike listened, but not without letting out a threatening hiss.Several people had made their way into the room, some military and some not. Arius twitched his nose at the mixed smell of cologne, perfume and sweat. He heard some mechanism clicking, and he instantly recognised it to be the weapons that had been used in his direction back in room next to Spike's. Said individual was also starting to growl, to which Arius placed a hand on the other's cheek, willing him to cease.“Arius O’Klein,” Delgado spoke. The man was standing a fair distance away, which was a good sign. Arius guessed that they may be hanging near the doorway if there was a need for immediate evacuation. “I’d like you to come over to meet the board, the people who are in charge of this project. They are the ones funding for this entire cause, as well as your presence here. Three days ago, they've witnessed your interaction between 022 and yourself. They were rather impressed, and we've organised a special session for them to see it first-hand. ”Arius gritted his teeth. It seemed like he was to meet the big guns today, right before Spike no less. Carefully, laid his head against Spike's cheek, bidding him to stay. He hoped the alien would listen, and he tested it out by taking a few steps away with his hand low. Surprisingly, Spike made no move. Not even a pip.The brunette approached the group of people with the best of his abilities, slowly progressing forward at an average pace. He was still wary of what may be on the ground.Once he was before the group of people, he held a hand out. “Arius O'Klein.” He waited, but was met with silence. It was then he remembered that his hand was slick with the stuff that came from Spike, and he gave an apologetic nod, keeping it. He was so used to the texture that he was bothered by it no longer.“Josephine Lotts,” a very businessman-like voice was being introduced first. By his tone, Arius could tell he was a dignified person holding an upper-class demeanor.“Uni Releksi,” this time, an older, heavily accented person spoke. Chances were this guy provided the highest funding. He sounded experienced, wealthy and proud.“Maxillion Harper,” a lady spoke right after. Her expensive perfume was the strongest scent that clogged his senses uncomfortably.“Can’t say that it’s under the best circumstances that we’re meeting,” Arius replied. He let slip the sarcasm he would do only when he was upset. He corrected himself with a deep breath and dropped his head a little. “I do not wish to beat around the bush. You have recruited me to aid in your project, and I have found myself dealing with a species neither animal nor human. I doubt there is any actual information you require from him, so what are you trying to achieve?”“Before that, I’d like to give you some tidbits on the thing you’re dealing with.” Arius heard Delgado interrupt, placing a heavy hand on his shoulder and squeezing. A warning. “That thing you’ve come to refer to as ‘Spike’ is an extra-terrestrial species we call Xenomoprh XX121. Spike is named XH-022 in our scientific papers. Since a century ago, many companies and organisations have been hunting down this species in order to conduct research on it, but alas, they never made it.“A month ago, we’ve picked it up from another planet where its species have come to thrive. It took years to successfully capture one and bring it back to Meteora without it die during cryofreeze. We want to work with a live specimen without it killing us, and that is where your role comes in. They are a highly dangerous species because of their intelligence. And we want this intelligence. If we are able to use it, imagine the wonders we could achieve.”“I don’t believe we’re on the same page,” Arius said honestly, shaking his head.“Your interaction with XH-022 is exceptional,” Harper commented. “We're all looking forward the day you are to be able to control it, and in turn, allow us to.”As an empath, he has never abused his abilities in such a manner. He was supposed to emotionally support someone, not psycho-control them. It was just wrong.“I'll have to correct you on that, ma'am. You cannot control someone, much less a creature with a mind of its own,” Arius replied in a firm tone. “Spike only seems to be listening because I've earned his trust. But outside of that, I cannot guarantee his actions.”“We are expecting results, not excuses.”The empath was furious. He felt like he was speaking to a couple of brick walls. "I'm not a telepath. I've said that I can't control him.""Then you are of no use to us," Releksi gruffed out, turning to step away."You'll only make matters worse, I guarantee," Arius almost yelled out. Forget professionalism. These people were only after their own interests to which Arius would never come to share. "Spike shouldn't be here. For the safety and sake of humankind, you should bring him back where you found him."Lotts interjected, sounded absolutely furious. "And who gave you the rights to dictate what's better for mankind? Do you know how much we've invested into this? You're telling us to toss it aside after decades of hard work?"Everything was about money for this guy.Arius shook his head, trying to keep himself calm. There would be no positive outcomes if he blew up now. He had to keep his emotions in control. "I don't, but all I know is that he shouldn't be here. There's a reason why he does not exist as a normality amongst us.”“Delgado, remove this useless person. I feel as if I've wasted half my life coming in today,” Releksi's words ended the conversation, and Arius was lost for words.“So the order says,” Delgado mused, and Arius couldn't help but realise what it would mean. He wouldn't be able to work with Spike ever again if he were to be permamently dismissed from his post. The thought scared him.“Wait, no! You can't just do this!” Arius started to panic as arms grabbed him. They were strong, meaning that they were the soldiers who had came in with the board members. He struggled, leaning away and tried his best to break out of the holds, but to no avail. He didn't want it to end like this.There was a sudden rush of anger, but it didn't belong to him. It was shocking, as if electricity coarsed through his mind. Spontaneous, abrupt, dangerous. It didn't belong to the guards that were holding onto him, and it definitely wasn't him. It was-Arius barely had the time as he turned his head back shouting: “SPIKE, NO!” Hell broke loose. All Arius could hear was a hysterical screech of unknown origin as something large collided against his body. Instantly, he fell to the ground and he let out a pained cry upon impact. His head swam as he heard shouting and a noises that were far from human. Chaos was happening around him and he couldn't tell what what happening. All he could register was hair-standing screams, followed by the scent of blood heavily wafting through the air. It make Arius nauseous as he doubled over, finding it extremely difficult to keep his guts inside.Arius dared to move only after everything went questionably silent. Even the familiar sensation of a tail wrapping around his waist couldn't calm him. He knew. Even if he couldn't see, he knew what Spike might have done. Had done. He just didn't know how many casualties there were, and he didn't want to find out either.His hand reached up to receive the usual response of Spike nudging his palm with his snout. Only this time, it wasn't just the typical slime that could be felt. Something warm and viscous started to trickle down his hand. Arius gritted his teeth, brows furrowed in remorse even though he knew it wasn't his fault.“It wasn't supposed to be like this...” Arius whispered out.Spike on the other hand was crooning, pleased. Nothing seemed to be on the alien's mind except enjoying the attention he was receiving from the human. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Scotts Renald was an animal behaviourist whose expertise laid with larger carnivorous species. He had been Delgado’s acquaintance via a mutual company. Delgado needed a replacement for O’Klein since his dismissal three days ago when the one of the board members was killed. Renald was a daredevil by nature, and upon hearing the offer to work with an extra-terrestrial species, he took up the offer instantly.Upon his arrival, they wasted little time and sat down to scrutinise every video recording available. They were of the times when O’Klein had been interacting with the Xenomorph face to face. Renald started picking up subtle actions or habits that the young man was doing whilst in the same room as the alien.Delgado had bigger faith in Renald achieving his goal. The latter didn’t quite seem to care about the ethics or dubious intentions since his pockets was conveniently being filled. Plus, it was an alien, not an animal. The difference was clear cut and Renald didn’t empathise. The man was actually keen on taking up the challenge of trying to interact with a real life Xenomorph, and the thought of being able to manipulate one gave him the thrill.“This,” the French-descent pointed out one day when they were on their seventeenth footage. “Even if this thing is an alien, it’s obvious what’s it’s doing in my eyes.”“Oh?” Delgado questioned, raising a thickened brow. Was there something this man picked up that he didn’t, despite having been watching closely all along?“Here, see this?” Renald pointed at the screen where 022 was circling the blind man. The Xenomorph was bobbing its head lightly, sticking its head into the human’s neck once in a while. It would occasionally nudge O’klein at his side with enough pressure to make the individual wobble, but not fall over.In a few videos, O’Klein would sometimes lay down or sit with the Xenomorph. The man was completely relaxed despite knowing how dangerous the creature was. Their interactions were questionable, seeing how O’Klein would be so receptive to the advances. Stroking, caressing, laying his head against the alien.The Xenomorph would weaved around the person. “It’s inspecting O’Klein carefully, the same way many females would check out the males if they were suitable partners.""Are you saying it's courting him?" Delgado frowned deeply."If this species is as adaptable as acclaimed to, and without the nest to be controlled by, its primary instinct is to seek shelter or even build a territory of its own, even. This would be suitable, with the right location and the right company," Renald trailed off. "You’ve mentioned that 022 has killed a few men before, hasn't it?""Yes, it a few soldiers and the programme head Josephine Lotts were killed.”“Bring up the video. I think I can affirm from there.”Delgado did as instructed. With a few clicks of the keyboard, a new video replaced the old one. It showcased the large room, Delgado, soldiers and the board members. On the other end, it was O'Klein and 022. There was a short moment’s interaction, but when O’Klein was being grabbed by the soldiers, 022 attacked instantly. When the entire commotion died down, along with a few humans, Renald paused the recording.“There. Did you see that? He had only gone for the people who got too close to O’Klein. Its primary motive is to guard O’Klein from harm, but had not killed the rest in the room even though it was probably capable enough. It prioritised O’Klein’s safety. Generally, one would only retaliate if they were protecting themselves or someone they deem their own, yes?”The scientist couldn’t help but consider the theory, as ridiculous as it had sounded in its head. Having been the only one observing the interaction between O’Klein and 022 first-hand, he tried to make sense of the situation.From years of research, the Xenomorphs went through an entirely different breeding cycle from any known living form. He had never heard of a lower class capable of being carriers as well. The only possibility is for 022 itself to evolve into a queen and start the parthenogensesis process. But why would it be to attached to O'Klein then? Delgado cast the thoughts to the back of his mind when the man next to him spoke:“Perhaps we could trick it into thinking that O’Klein is around,” Renald suggested. “I’m confident in imitating the way he has approached 022. It’s rather straightforward.”“If you deem it to be the best approach.” By this point, Delgado didn’t care what Renald would do. All he needed were results to hand in to the board to save his project from being terminated. The death of Lotts meant a painful decrease in the funding provided, and ranks above the board were starting to think twice about letting the project continue if more deaths were to occur.Everything was arranged accordingly. Renald was issued a specialised clothing that resembled a thinned version of an astronaut suit, completely covered from head to toe. A one-way helmet was included that allowed the man to have a clear view, but disallowed the opposite. The full-body gear was meant to nullify all scents, so the man could only physically interact with the Xenomorph. He reminded himself not to speak just in case the alien could recognise vocals.Renald entered the connecting room first, and the man planted himself in the center. He watched as the steel wall before him was raised. He could see the Xenomorph right away turning to face his direction. He held his breath at the height of the massive creature. He had most certainly underestimated the size-aspect that cameras could easily deceive. Nevertheless, he held his ground, waiting for it to approach. It was what O’Klein did.When 022 walked through the door, he raised his hand, palm facing the floor. He simply needed to replicate the steps like a dance. Practice would give the perfect results. He waited for the Xenomorph to respond, and it did.022 presented the dome of its head first, pushing it under the open palm. Renald let go of the breath he had been holding since he saw the Xenomorph, and he found himself relaxing. 022 pressed forward and Renald held his ground. He couldn’t hesitate, because O’Klein never did.The alien was nudging the side of the suit, smearing a thin layer of its natural coating against the material. Renald swore he could hear a bizarre noise escaping the alien as he reached up to stroked the large dome. All had been progressing well when he let out an ‘ouch’, retracting his hand. He stared at his palm where the glove had been cut, with redness swelling under. Shocked by the sudden injury, he glanced up to see that the back half of the Xenomorph’s dome was dangerously spiked, resulting in his current state.022’s head right by Renald’s helmet paused and his heart started to thunder in his chest. Did the alien know? Did it have a sensitive sense of smell?A long, ridged tail started to coil around the man’s figure, and Renald forced himself to remain standing and not let fear cause him to mess up. The tail around him was a casual act; O’Klein had been on the receiving end of all these many times over. His hands resumed stroking the Xenomorph as it reared back slowly.With the tail around him, Renald couldn’t quite move as 022 came to place its face right before his helmet. He could take in the details of the ebony carapace that reflected the white overhead lighting. The texture seemed so smooth to touch. Next came a set of teeth that oddly resembled a human’s, save the exceptionally long canines. The teeth slowly parted, and Renald was mesmerised by the act. He took a second to notice that there was a slight glint of silver at the back of the Xenomorph’s throat before everything went dark.---------Delgado’s fear sky rocketed when he saw the Xenomorph’s mouth open, lips pulled back in a hiss. He didn’t even have time to react when the alien’s pharyngeal jaw struck at a speed invisible to the naked eye. It speared the helmet that Renald wore in a split second, shattering it. Without the tail coiled around the body, it would’ve fallen to the floor instantly.As if witnessing time slowing, Delgado watched in horror as 022 retracted its secondary mouth. The long tail started to unwravel itself, letting the body drop to the floor haphazardly. Blood was seeping through the hole in the helmet, pooling on the ground. The Xenomorph threw its massive head back and let out a long, calling screech.With the initial horror being replaced by seething anger, Delgado’s eyes cast back to the key panels, finding the one he required. He slammed his open palm onto the button. Instantly, a gas was administered into the room. Frost crystals begun to form on the discarded man’s body within seconds, while the Xenomorph was screeching and flailing.Its large tail slash the air and slammed against the walls, glass, anything. But having been so caught up in his fury, Delgado hadn’t even realised that he had been pushing the button for an extended period of time outside the supposed safety range. At the same time, he felt that it was a well-deserved punishment, and regretted little. He had only stopped when the entire room was shrouded in white mist.The scientist crossed his arms in triumph. Now, all he had to do was wait for the gas to subside and he could re-assess the situation. Perhaps the Xenomorph will learn that killing would land him with such an agonising punishment, and learn to act otherwise.It took a fair amount of time before Delgado could vaguely see the figures inside. Renald was completely frozen, and 022 was curled on the ground unmoving. Crystals coated the alien and Delgado started to panic. He couldn't let the alien die. All his efforts would be wasted, and his last chance would be blown. He removed himself from the key panels as he held the vocal transmitter in his hand, having stood at the farthest end of the glass to be able to see what was happening inside.He summoned a few soldiers to his aid. Fifteen minutes had passed since and there was still a lack of response from the alien, which affirmed his need to do a check face-to-face. Four men poured into the room hastily, guns raised. Cautiously, they approached the black mass on the floor, taking in the sight of its positioning. It was curled up in a foetal position, mouth agape. It was still not moving despite the ice crystals having melted, and the lead soldier dropped his gun to his side as he knelt before the Xenomorph to take a closer look.Only the secretions and melted ice from the skin was dripping, and other than that there was not a single movement. The solider gave a careful nudge at the angle of its jaw to evoke a response. To the scientist’s dismay, 022 was dead.Delgado let out a curse as he slammed his fist against the glass, gritting his teeth. Now, he was absolutely furious. His project would be officially shut down. All the years of effort would have been for naught, and he would have to face the board and all the other people involved. He was a failure. It was the worst possible outcome that could befall him. Or so he thought.Out of the corner of his eyes, a small movement caught his attention. They widened slowly, stunned when he saw a barbed tail raise into the air in slow motion. The soldiers couldn't see because they were too focused prodding the alien's head.It had been so hypnotic with a mild, elegant sway. The ridges between the tail sections widened and closed in a systematic fashion. The appendage unfurled from a curl with the tip angle at a near horizontal plane before it acted in a swift movement.Red painted the one way mirror when a soldier’s body was being slammed against it. Delgado yelled in apprehension, taking in the sight of a large hole in the man’s chest. The body sliding down left a blood stain large enough to block the scientist's view. He couldn't see the interior, and it took him a few precious seconds to shake out of his panic to run to the key panel.“Get out!” Delgado shouted through the intercom mic, but he could not receive any affirmative responses that his order was being heeded. All that echoed in the room was screeching of an alien and the screaming of dying men. He had no choice, and slammed the button that had the door shutting.Everything ceased then and Delgado could only hear was his breathing.Quickly, he turned to the side where the cameras were, eyes darting between the several screens. Each featured different angles of the room. His blood turned to ice when he realised that 022 was inside no longer. Only five dead bodies.------------The scientist had been aggressively chewing on his pen that cracks had formed. Four hours had passed since the escape of the Xenomorph. During this time, the entire base was set on code red. All military personnel were informed of the internal threat and every one was on guard, actively searching the huge base carefully. They were looking out for any signs of it: the slime it would leave in its wake, or an unfortunate findings of a dead body. However, none of such clues appeared, and Delgado was getting frustrated.If only a tracker could be implanted onto the Xenomorph, but it was impossible. Not with the acidic alien blood frying it.Another hour and Delgado was losing his mind due to lack of signs from the alien.“Sir!” His intercom roared and the scientist swiped the transmitter, demanding a reply. “We had found traces of 022 in the bay lock. It leads outside. We believe that it is no longer in the base.”Delgado slammed his fist against the panel he had been pressing against.No, no. It shouldn’t have been this way. Based on prior research, the Xenomorphs would lurk behind to slowly pick at its enemies. To get revenge. They were always trying to prove that they were the superior species. So why wasn’t 022 doing the same?“Where are you going, what are you trying to go,” he growled out, shuffling through his table of papers. Where. Where are you trying to go? Delgado’s eyes wandered across documents, readings and writings. As he shoved objects around, his hand hit a book that didn’t belong to him. He eyed it carefully, wondering why it was here. Then, he remembered. It was a notebook filled with written thoughts of a certain individual, and it had been confiscated before the owner's departure. Something in him snapped with realisation and Renald's words struck him like a cord. Of course, how could he have missed it? The man reached for his phone while making haste for the door.-------11.32pm, and the doorbell rang.“Coming!” Arius called out with a decent volume as he went to the doorway. Whoever it was outside hadn’t identified themselves, and he kept the latch on just in case. “Who’s that?”“Arius, it’s me,” Oakley’s voice responded. Arius picked up a sense of urgency in his voice and undid the lock hastily, stepping away and allowed the soldier to enter.Oakley gave thanks for the welcome, and closed the door behind him. It was odd to Arius that his friend would be outside the Empera Military Base, at this timing to boot.“I’ll be quick because I’ve got to return to patrolling,” Oakley said when they were in the open living area. The empath picked up that he was nervous, and perhaps afraid?“Oak, what’s wrong? And why would the military be doing patrols?” Arius questioned as he was made to sit on the couch. Oakley circled him from around the back and the brunette heard the other man pause right behind him.“Six hours ago, it escaped.” The empath froze. “It… tricked people to get out.”Arius stiffened upon hearing those words. His fingers interlocked and they tightened around his hands.“How… I know Spike is intelligent but to trick people? I didn’t think he would be capable of baiting.”“I heard it ‘played dead’,” the laugh from Oakley didn’t match the tone he used to speak. It was deeply concerning. “No idea where it learnt how to do that, but it worked. It made Delgado send some men into its compound and with the door wide open, it slipped through quicker than anyone could react. Then, it was gone. Delgado suspects that it’s coming for you.”Arius jerked his head up and tilted in confusion. “But why would he?”A frustrated sigh escaped his friend, “Delgado… reckons it’s planning to procreate.”Hearing this, Arius had to give a laugh that failed to hide his discomfort. “That’s ridiculous. He’s not even human. How-”“Delgado can’t explain the anomaly with 022. All he has figured out thus far is it’s unusual protective nature of you is probably linked to fact that you can communicate with it somewhat. A shared similarity, perhaps. It doesn’t take you for a human per say, but a potential mate.”“But it’s impossible, right? I’m not female,” Arius sighed out, running his fingers through his hair.“Their physiology works on an extremely different level. In a nutshell, they’re parasites. They take the biology of their host, and eventually, these hosts die.” Oakley took a deep breath, and silence filled the air. Arius’ fists tightened on his lap and he chewed on his lower lip. He was contemplating hard, wondering if he should let Oakley know…The sudden loud beeping coming from Oakley gave Arius a jump scare, breaking his chain of thoughts. The former gave an apology quickly.“Sir!” Oakley answered the call. “No… it’s not there. I have just been to O’Klein’s house and there is no sign of XH-022, or any form of indication that it was nearby… South bound? Roger.” Oakley reported through his intercom. As he spoke, he grabbed his friend’s hand, squeezing lightly in assurance. Arius tightened his grip lightly, returning the gesture of comfort. They had only let go once the call was done.“It’s near, three miles out. Heavily forested zone, and they found reamins of dead campers so they reckon it might be around there,” Oakley started to make his way to the door, and Arius grabbed his arm frantically. The soldier faced him.“Oak, I.... Just… be careful,” Arius said softly.Oakley’s large hand landed on his shoulder and squeezed. He departed quickly after, and Arius let out the huge sigh that he has desperately suppressed in his chest.Arius headed back to his room, and taking a step in his bare foot came in contact with something slimy. Arius couldn't even bring himself to react or even mind it. At the same time, he sensed a secondary presence approaching. A separate emotion completely different from his seeped into his mind, and brunette felt something long wrapped around his middle gently. The familiarity of it was the only thing that willed him to stay calm. Arius reached his hand out and was greeted by the sleek forehead of a Xenomorph.“Good boy, you stayed quiet,” Arius whispered, stroking the smooth, albeit moist skin.Spike crooned softly at the praise, rubbing his cheek against the side of Arius’ head. He gently nick at the side of the human’s neck with its blunt teeth; his way of showing affection.Arius could feel his chest tighten as a dry sob gradually broke out. He could bottle his thoughts and fears no longer. His breath hitched as he slowly lowered himself to his knees, a hand clasped over his mouth. His entire body convulsed with every hitch of a breath, and he couldn’t even bring himself to respond to Spike nudging him at the side of his head, questioning the reason for his sorrow. Planning to procreate. It was too late. Much too lateHe didn't know what was inside him. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- For several cycles, he had been waiting for an opportunity. Being shut in this enclosed space had angered him initially. He'd spent much of his time snarling at nothing, whilst clawing or tail-slapping against the sides of this tough cage. His violent tendencies were futile, and he learned of the fact quickly. Instead of wasting more energy, he settled down and kept his activity levels to a bare minimum.He would find his escape in due time. He hardly moved, with an exception of taking a bite of the meat that dropped overhead. Being a fighter, he would not let hunger or stress kill him slowly. He considered slipping into a hibernative state. It would have been useful since even more energy could be conserved, and the hardened carapace would protect him from sustaining most damages. But that would mean that he would lose all form of awareness, and guaranteed no way out. Thus, he spent the cycles consciously staring at the image of what seemed to be himself, waiting.It had been sudden, but one time, he sensed a being. It was completely different from the connection he had with his Queen. It was one, nevertheless. It piqued his interest. Whatever it was, it was capable of relaying some bizarre emotion he couldn't quite understand. And oddly enough, it came from a location right behind the fake image of him. He remembered throwing a fit because he was testing for a reaction.The next time he sensed this connection, it had been on even stronger level once he was able to see what he seemed to have established a mental link with. It was yet another of those two-legged creatures that had captured and brought him here. However, this one looked not the least bit hostile. He took to it kindly, and approached with outmost curiosity.Every cycle, he would see this peculiar two-legged that seemed to be relaying emotions to him. They were oddly calming. The sight of the other two-legged who wore white still angered him, but the other would take his attention away with soothing allure. It was a simple attraction he had towards this two-legged that made him ignore the white one eventually.Once, he witnessed the peculiar two-legged being taken away by other creatures of his kind. He picked up on the urgency and was hissing. Shortly after, in the space he was shut in, an opening was revealed and instantly, he felt a re-connection with the unique two-legged. Stepping through, he got to meet the creature he had been sharing a bizarre relationship with. It was small, as expected, and he gave it a nudge in wonder to why it was on the ground unmoving.The creature understood that he wasn't hostile. When his skin was touched, a different link seemed to have opened. He could almost understand this creature better, even capable of responding to a vocalised bidding without truly understanding. He enjoyed the small limbs that were stroking his skin gently in a comforting manner.'Spike' was what this two-legged seemed to call. It existed even in the thoughts between them, and he came to a conclusion that it was referring to him. The reaction from the two-legged was always positive when he responded to 'Spike'. From then on, he continued doing so.He had even stepped in to protect the creature from its own kind. It had been an instinctual act, as if guarding his hive. Subconsciously, he realised he was courting this unique two-legged creature that he could share fragmented thoughts with.Under normal circumstances, it was unlikely he would act as such. However, cast alone in a foreign place, his main focus would be to create more of his kind. Given the environment he was in often, out in the wilderness and surrounded by danger, his class was never meant to evolve to a Queen. A high ranking guard at most, but his physiology disallowed him to be anything more. But biologically, he worked very, very differently.Should he stumble upon a different hive, he had several decisions to work with. He could leave the clan untouched, merely keeping in mind the location of their nest. A second option was to return to his own, and initiate a clan war if deemed necessary. This would happen if food supplies were low and they could use one less competitor. The last option was a peculiar one only a scout like him could accomplish.If he was willing to take the risk, he could infiltrate the nest. If he could make it to the Queen without being killed, he would be given the reward of seeding a Queen even if she was laying. It was an unwritten law of the Xenomorphs.The process was unique - it was a combination of impregnation and insemination. He would engage the Queen with an orifice not connected to the eggsac, and she would grow a special class in a separate womb that would form post-mating. She would take a longer time to birth this young, but it was a safe process for her as there would be no death involved.He knew what he could do. To ensure the survival of his species, he decided to make this special two-legged creature his mate. Whenever they met, he groomed and checked his newfound mate's body. There was no room for injuries or unwell. He'd croon and wrap a careful tail around his mate's body to ensure that he was not out of reach. He preserved the moments they were together, because it was the only time he could be sure his made was safe. He would've initiated the breeding ritual, but this was not the place he would choose to do so.They were forced to be in this small space void of proper food and shelter. Other two-legged he deemed as enemies constantly surrounded them, watching. He had to ensure his mate was in a safe location before he would act otherwise. In the meantime, he would simply indulge in the time he had been with his mate, caring for the small, defenseless creature.Things had not gone well when his mate and he were met with a group other two-legged in a different location. He had chosen to acknowledge the first bidding his mate had given – to not attack, but stay. But when he felt the distress coming from it, accompanied with the resistance against other two-legged trying to pull it away, he snapped. He killed those in the immediate area, threatening the others with a loud hiss as he curled around his mate protectively.They were separated after, as usual. Oddly enough, his mate had not come to see him for several cycles. He'd pace, growl, and snarl in displeasure at the absence. Once in a while, he'd lash his powerful whip tail against the wall to show his impatience. Nothing happened, still. Not until then. A two-legged in white stood in place of his mate. He could not feel the connection he would normally have; it was void of emotions. It puzzled him at first, but when he saw a familiar hand gesture that beckoned him, he didn't think much of it. Maybe the white thing adorning his mate was disallowing the emotions to be relayed. It hadn't mattered. All that did was that his mate was right before him, safe. He crooned, leaning into the touch, albeit feeling different because of the white coating. The calamity did not last long when he realised that this two-legged was an imposter by scent. He had marked his mated, and his olfactory senses were very strong to pick up on the difference. There was no hesitation in killing the fake. In fact, he screeched in anger, lasting long and furious. Agony was bestowed upon him in the form of a chill, and ironically, it burned his skin. It was painful, but the sensation was different from receiving physical injuries. Eventually, he collapsed, feeling chilled to the bone. He was sure he had fallen unconscious as well. He heard shuffling. He felt a slight nudge to his side. There was a commotion happening around him, and he slowly woke to it. When he was conscious enough, he could see the opening that his mate would enter and leave. He could see his only escape. This was his chance.He remained unmoving for a while, taking in the sight of many two-legged surrounding him. They were unaware of his tail that had moved, creeping slowly towards its first victim. When he struck, his body rose at the same time, and a battle cry echoed the tiny space. The small creatures around him started to respond to his awakening, and begun to vocalise their displeasure.Within the small space, they were helpless. He was faster and stronger despite the numbers. They had not used the objects in their hands and were too focused on trying to flee. It became his advantage. He took the chance to pounce and strike, pounce and strike... One which made it through the opening was pulled back by his powerful tail, gifted with his tip speared through the middle.He wasted no time, as tempted as he was to stand his ground and give a screech of victory. His large but sleek build crept out at an alarming rate and he ripped through a structure above with his claws, finding a pathway that was clustered with horizontal tubes.With the stealth of a predator, he sauntered through the tight foreign spaces, remembering every corner he took. He avoided all two-legged, as tempting as it was to drop on the ones which were solo. While his instincts were screaming at him to prove his superiority, he had another priority.He had to find his mate. It took a while, but he managed to find his way out. In the open space, he could finally pick up on his mate's mental state without lesser hindrance. It was similar to that with his Queen.The distance between them wasn't as far as he had thought; the distances he traveled away from his nest was greater. His mate was calm, which was a good sign. He set out immediately, trekking through the unfamiliar terrain with his mental wit as his guide. On the way to his mate's, he stumbled upon two of the creatures in the woods. He killed them without hesitation and moved on after a mouthful of flesh as sustenance. When he exited the heavily forested grounds, he was met with bizarre structures, resembling well-shaped rocks. They were blocks side by side, but placed a fair distance apart. Using the darkness as camouflage, he sauntered his way to the place where his mate was. When he was close enough, he sensed a change in his mate's emotion. It was mixed with shock and elation. His mate stepped into view and was leaning out an opening high up, and seemed puzzled. "Spike?" His name was called out. He responded with a soft croon. With a single, strong bound, he made it to the opening, clutching his strong digits around the edges. His mate was taken aback, falling backwards at the sudden impact when his large physique had accidentally bumped against it. He gave a soft, apologetic drawl as he slipped through the small opening, entering a warm space that had a few unknown objects. It seemed cozy and safe enough. This was ideal. "Spike, how...?" His mate voiced out from where it was collapsed on the ground. A hand reached out and he shifted forward, greeting with a nudge using his jaw. He didn't understand the vocals, but the emotions told him that his mate was still confused. It hadn't mattered. All that did now was that he had found his mate, healthy and unharmed. His mate gave a noise showing his surprise when he shoved himself face-first into the smaller body. He growled slightly, finding that there was the odd material the two-legged seemed to adorn. He was sure that it not his mate's real skin. With an impatient set of teeth, he seized the material and ripped it off, earning a surprised shout. "Spike,stop!" Hands grabbed the sides of his cheek, and even though he was more than capable of overpowering his smaller mate, he didn't. Instead, he froze when he picked up an unwanted emotion. He sensed fear coming from his mate, and his intention wasn't to scare. He was not going to cause any harm."Why are you doing this?" His mate uttered, while the digits on his face started to tremble. They slipped off slowly and his mate covered its face. "What... is this smell..." He had been releasing pheromones to entice his mate, coupled with an intoxicating hormone to subdue his mate. Had he been with a Queen, it would've made her passive, thus allowing him to inseminate her without the dangers of being hurt or killed.He was sure that it was working when his mate fell limp to the ground, on its side. Digits were clutching the furry material what covered some of the floor. He took the chance to sniff his mate, taking in the foreign scent he had become accustomed to. It was different, but not unpleasant, and he'd come to indulge in it.He managed to push up a material that wasn't his mate's skin, observing the smooth, cream color that was a big contrast to his black. He gently nibbled, and his mate was shuddering in response. Yes, this was its skin.Growling in satisfaction, he seek out his mate's lower half, nudging about carelessly. His mate had turned on its side and was giving yelps as it tried to push his head away weakly. A futile attempt, but he wasn't going to be upset. Resistance was normal in the beginning. He only needed to wait a little for the pheromones to completely placate his mate.It wasn't long before his mate was a boneless heap, unable to move on their own accord. His long digits hooked the edges of the material covering the lower limbs and carefully peeled them after a moment's exploration. His mate was showing signs of discomfort, but lacked the strength to resist. With his snout, he nudged a limb aside, revealing an appendage that would have been similar to his.It indicated he was male, but that was fine. His species never depended on their victim's gender to reproduce. His class was the only exception that had an external organ.“Spike, stop, please,” his mate was uttering. He could sense its distress and fear. He crooned to keep it calm as his tail wrapped around the middle of its body.Carefully, he maneuvered around the small form while holding it in place. He shifted so that he laid on his lower back, taking his mate to settle on top of him, lower limbs forced to be on either side of his larger body. He had his mate positioned over his lower region where an obscure slit opened, and a specialised organ poked out. He groaned as it erected from the slit. The feeling was new, having not used this appendage before.His mate was flushed red with skin gleaming with a thin sheen of moisture. One of its hands was clasping along the length of his tail. The the other had gripped the arm that had his hand curled around his back. It was nervous, but there was an unmistakable lust underneath. Whether or not it was due to the pheromones he released, it mattered no longer.With precision, he lowered his mate onto his reproductive organ. Both of them let out a hiss, albeit different. His mate was digging what was the equivalent to claws into his tail and limb, but he barely felt it through his thickened skin. He was simply groaning at the heat around his appendage that inched into the small body. His natural slime coating allowed him to enter with only the tightness as an obstacle.His mate fell into laboured breathing, and pain was registered through its emotions. He crooned in attempt to calm the unsettled. His teeth lightly grazed the skin of his mate's neck as he coaxed the small body to take in more of his organ. Eventually, he was completely buried in the warm body.He did not wait. He started to thrust into his mate's body, relishing any friction made. His mate was letting out soft cries, but not out of agony. It was oddly pleasant to hear the wrangled voice he could not understand. In fact, he was urged on, and he repeatedly impaled the small body that readily accepted him. His mate had reached around its front, grasping its own smaller organ. It started to stroke with a quick pace while its jaw hung open and panting. Whatever his mate was doing was causing its body to tighten around him even more, priming orgasm. The small body was gyrating in an erratic fashion on his black body, and it was an alluring sight to see, thought for him, it had been nothing more than interesting.He was not bothered the least when a white string of liquid was sprayed onto his body. His thrusts didn't cease. It had only accelerated, and the build up of tension in his lower regions hit its peak as his organ started to swell mildly at the base.He let out a sound that was caught between a hiss and a screech. He forced himself to bury deep into his mate as he released. It let out a choked gasp before hunching forward. He took the chance to bite the back of its neck as an euphoric gesture.His mate was recovering its breath and seemed to have given up using its strength to hold itself up. It collapsed on his body, and the weight was surprisingly comfortable. He released his jaw and started to pamper the small creature, nudging and caressing with his face. His mate evidently winced when he detached their bodies at the point they were connected. It was done. Now, his second goal was to keep his mate safe. It would take longer than the usual gestation, and he had to ensure it was comfortable. He would start making this area into a nest, and kill anything that would threaten the safety of his mate and his offspring. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Arius hadn't realised that he had fallen asleep. He raised his body abruptly, sitting as his hands fumbled about. The feeling the sheets under his palm gave him a sense of relief. He let out a small sigh, admiring the odd color of the blanket.He stiffened. For the first time in his life, there was an image projected in his head. It was surreal. He was sure his vision remained gone, yet images of his surrounding seemed to be registered into his mind, but in a haze. Colours, it seemed, were unclear and fuzzy. He couldn't identify them, but he could almost make out the shapes and forms.The neural influx was so great that it made Arius dizzy and uncoordinated, and he felt like a newborn forced to be upright. In order not to keel over, he supported himself with a hand planted on the bed, while the other clasped the side of his head.No matter what he did, the images didn't go away. He couldn't make it go away. It was a constant feed to his brain, and it was taking a toll on him mentally.A croon sounded next to him, but it sounded like rumbling thunder. He recognised it nevertheless, and he turned his head. For the first time, he could see Spike physically.Arius hadn't meant to give a surprised shout when a set of menacing teeth was mere inches from his face. He leaned away from it, nearly falling onto his back due to the imbalance.The Xenomorph seemed to pay no heed, only inching forward and placing hiss face dangerously close to Arius' abdomen, to which the latter swallowed. His lips furled slightly, observing for a few seconds before turning away swiftly.The empath watched Spike retreat away on fours, crawling towards odd, dark-colored substances that seemed to be littered all over the room. Arius was sure his breath hitched at the sight of what used to be his room. Black substance was coating the walls from ceiling to floor, forming a web of some sort. The material was slimy, almost moist looking. Spike seemed to be tending to it, and some part of Arius told him that this was the alien's way of creating their nest.Arius had to collapse back onto the bed on his side when he felt a splitting headache make itself known. The sudden neural input to his brain was starting to take a toll, and he gritted his teeth. He didn't know how this was happening, considering he didn't have the necessary organs for sight. His breathing was shallow as he tried to calm himself.A low growl sounded and Arius could sense Spike's worry over him. The Xenomorph had returned to his side again, bringing its face close. Arius could see him clearer now; a set of silver human-like teeth with exceptionally long canines. The rounded carapace dome glinted with the under the lighting of the room. Briefly, he wondered how many hours had passed since he slept.Despite the sight of something so alien before him, Arius remained unusually calm, save the moment he woke. Spike was just as calm, un-threatening and even showing concern. It was almost endearing, and Arius couldn't even bring himself to be scared once again.He reached out, caressing the side of Spike's jawline. Whatever this creature had done to him, it had changed him. It was embarrassing, and frankly rather shameful, to remember what had happened some time ago – to have mated with another species. He knew it was a revolting and disgusting act, but he felt no regret. Somehow, he was granted some form of sight, despite the oddity of it, and he was growing to be fond of it despite the pains.Spike was crooning at the touches, and he nudged forward, pressing his large carapace into Arius' middle. That was when the human noticed something odd on his lower abdomen. Fingers reached lower and he felt a small, but firm bump. Being a relatively slim individual, the slight bulge was unusual, and Arius felt his blood turn cold.The Xenomorph must've put it there. He didn't know how, but he knew something was growing. Something inhuman, probably turning out to be what Spike was. It scared him, since he didn't know what to expect.Was he going to die? Should he seek help from Oakley? Or with someone who was more experienced with the alien species, namely Delgado?The latter thought didn't sit well with Arius. The scientist was up to something. It pained him to know that Spike shouldn't exist around here, but it was a fact. Whatever he was, he was better off where he was found. He existed there, and not here, for a reason.Arius sighed out. How did he end up in a situation like this, anyway.Spike broke his chain of thoughts when he climbed onto the bed. Arius didn't bother moving, trusting that the Xenomorph wouldn't hurt him the least.The large form curled around the smaller one, spooning against him comfortably despite having a physical structure that was near skeletal. Spike's large head was conveniently planted near Arius', and the empath could reach out and stroked the ridged jawline. Spike was giving a low croon again that put Arius at ease, comfortable even with the dangerous looking tail coiled around one of his legs.It was comforting to have another presence in this usually lonely room. Arius wasn't able to receive affection outside his family due to his disability, as well as his ability. Because he could sense other people's emotions, he had subconsciously put most of them at a distance. In a manner, he could have been afraid. He was afraid of his own being.Spike's presence was different, since they could read each other alike. It wasn't perfect, but it was enough. The way emotions were being relayed between them was clear enough; readable. Arius was comfortable both mentally and physically around the Xenomorph, and it was evident the other way as well.It felt nice to have another by his side as he slept.Arius woke with a start for the second time that night, not realising that he had fallen asleep again. It was to the sound of Spike hissing dangerously near by his ear. The Xenomorph was riled up, feeling threatened and thus defensive, whilst curling around his body. It took Arius a moment to figure out what had set the alien off: footsteps.Not just one set, but multiple, heavy crunching boots. Arius felt his blood turn cold. He didn't need to guess that the military was here. The shuffling noises indicated that they were either approaching or already surrounding his house, armed. He wasn't sure how they knew, but they had found out the Spike was residing in his home.In a heartbeat, Spike had left his side, leaping onto the carpeted floor with feline grace and silence. Arius sat, viewing the open window with a hazed vision without a word, as Spike sauntered towards it. Alike a spider, he crept out the opening and headed in the direction of the roof. He could sense the Spike's determination in defending the nest; he won't stop him.Inside, he hoped that the military would leave them alone. He didn't want Spike to be captured and placed back in confinements. He didn't want to be separated again.Alas, he knew it was impossible. Spike was too large a threat to be allowed running around. If the military found out what was inside him, he doubted they would let him free either.Without his awareness, a soft hiss was escaping under his breath. It sounded nothing close to human, and he clasped his mouth. Something was truly happening with his body.Several screams and gunfire startled Arius out of his state and he reflexively surveyed his surrounding. Naturally, nothing in his room was remotely of a threat, but he knew Spike was causing havoc in his ways. He had no interest in finding out, but he remembered that his friend was among the military soldiers. Oakley was still a friend he wished well for.Frantically, he scrambled for the door, and with the pseudo-vision, he could make his way out in the quickest speed he could ever muster – down the stairs, unlocking his front door and bursting through it. His vision was assaulted by bright lights and he cowered from it, raising his arms reflexively. It burned his vision, but he persisted and tried to sneak looks between his fingers. Military trucks with large lights had been facing his doorway, causing him to be momentarily blinded.There were barricades, indicating that his neighbours were probably evacuated from the site. No personnel were here, probably out to put the Xenomorph down in a different location. He glanced about as he ran barefooted, finding it bizarre that he could actually 'see' - his neighbour's houses, the cars parked along the streets, the fences that divided homes...When he rounded the corner, he saw what he dreaded to see: Spike was attacking and killing the soldiers with his tail and teeth. Green blotches were evidently dripping on various parts of his body, to which Arius deemed to be the alien's blood. It didn't seem too serious because Spike was scuttling like a rat, too quick for the few soldiers to properly aim at.On the other hand, the amount of redness that carpeted the grass was even more terrifying, and it nearly made him vomit from the clogging metallic scent.In his distraction, he heard someone yell "Get him!" before he was being tackled to the ground. Arius cried out as his chest impacted the ground, thankful that the soil and grass broke the fall a little. He struggled as strong hands grabbed his arms and forced it behind him. The angle had been excruciating and he gasped in anguish. More than that, there was a sudden concern for his growing young that was being crushed under the weight of the man seated against his lower back. Caught in the haze of panic to protect himself, he hadn't even realised that the simple yell he wanted to do came out as an odd sounding screech."Quiet-" "Look out!!!" The shouting were simultaneous.All Arius could register was that he was relieved of the man's weight just as Spike's own screech deafened him. He glanced up in time to see the soldier being flung to the side, a large gaping hole through his chest.Spike was crouched protectively over him, hissing at the handful of soldiers who had their guns raised, fingers ready on the trigger. The only thing holding them back was the possibility of misfiring – should the acidic blood fall on human, or worse, shooting the wrong target.“Arius!” A voice recognisable called out. It was Oakley, and Arius got himself back on his feet after slipping out from under Spike. The Xenomorph was still prioritising his safety, keeping close and displaying a dangerous set of teeth, along with what seemed to be an inner jaw extending.Oakley came into sight. It was the first time Arius could physically see what his friend looked like, and he was stunned. The soldier had his gun left to hang at his side by the strap. His hands were raised, opting for a non-threatening stance as he approached the two. Spike's tail was instantly raised, pointing at the human's direction, and a loud growl served as a warning.“Arius, we have to get him back to base, you know that don't you?”“I...” The empath uttered. He knew, but he couldn't. He couldn't subject Spike to return to the small space that was hardly big enough for a creature his side. He couldn't let Spike return to being an experiment.Said individual was growling and spitting angrily, as if simply awaiting for his acknowledgement to kill. Spike's tail had already curled around him protectively, and Arius reached out to touch the dorsal tubes that grew between the Xenomorph's shoulders.Spike can't run. It was impossible. His Xenomorph will forever want to return to his side in order to protect him and the young, which meant all the military had to do was to hold him hostage. He couldn't make a disadvantage to them. The only way they could tear free from this hunt was if the one in charge was dead.Arius gritted his teeth.Go, leave. He projected through his mind and through his touch. I'll be fine. Go.Spike was hissing, dissatisfied at the instruction he was given that was completely opposite of what he hoped for. His mate was of the most importance, next to the young he carried. His life, on the other hand, was expendable. It was his duty; his purpose up to the very last breath. Find me. The Xenomorph let out an angry screech before releasing his tail's grip and leaping away from Arius' side. All the soldiers were taken aback by the sudden movement of the Xenomorph, some even shouting a surprise. Spike bounded straight for the trees, never once stopping to look back as his tail whipped the darkness.“Shoot!” Someone from the squad ordered.“No!” The empath threw himself forward and grabbed the gun of the person who issued the order.The man snapped, giving Arius a good shove to the ground. “Back off,” he snarled at the brunette, before raising his gun.Arius gritted his teeth, collecting himself on his feet before lunging one more.The subsequent events had happened too quickly. Arius sighted the handle of a pocket knife at the soldier's utility belt. While the man was firing his gun, distracted, he swiped the knife out of the pocket, thrusting himself forward and plunging the blade into the guy's chest. Without hesitation, without conscience.Everyone's eyes were on him only when they heard a gurgled sputter, followed by a body falling to the ground with a thud.Arius had his head tilted down at the man's body. The soldier's brown eyes was staring back at his face in disbelief. Fear and anguish was perceived. He merely took a step away; away from the man's trembling hand that was trying to reach out to him for help. But Arius found that couldn't care to give any for that.“...How did the military find out?” Arius whispered softly as he was being cuffed. The metal was cold against his skin, but it didn't matter much. It was a question that was on his mind every since he knew the military had set up around his home.Around him, half the military squad was tending to the injured or dead, while the other proceeded to continue the hunt for the rogue Xenomorph. Oakley took charge of Arius, having the small faith that his friend wouldn't attack him like that. It hurt him to have to restrain the normally passive empath, but Arius' actions had him stunned. Never in his life would he have expected the compassionate individual to hurt anyone, much less kill them.Oakley had his lips pressed tightly together. He took a few moments, as if considering his words carefully before replying: “You had an unusual bite mark at the back of your neck.”The brunette digested the information he was told. “Oh,” was all that came from him. Arius knew that Spike had bitten when they had...“I'm sorry,” Oakley said. Remorse was flooding through his system, and it didn't take much for Arius to feel it. He could understand the reason for Oakley's actions. In the end, the man was a soldier who had to fulfill his duty.Arius shook his head. “You're doing what you have to. I'm not holding it against you.”“Honestly, all Delgado had wanted initially was the Xenomorph. Unfortunately, the stunt you pulled just now warrants an arrest on you.” A sigh escaped Oakley. The taller individual leaned in close, speaking softly. “I'm with you, Arius. I'll try my best to get you out of this mess, but you have to promise to cooperate with the military.”A nod was the response.Oakley escorted Arius to the back of a military truck, probably using it as a make-shift police transport. He was locked up in the spacious back of the vehicle. It was probably meant for Spike, but since the Xenomorph had escaped, they placed him in his stead. Arius chose to plant himself on the ledge-like seat provided, letting his cuffed wrists lay on his lap.Through a small glass window, he saw two individuals enter the driver and passenger's seats. He didn't know either, which meant Oakley was in another vehicle.The truck was started up and they headed back for Espera Military Base. The ride was quiet, with not a single rider speaking. The only sounds that resonated was the groaning of the truck's engine, and an occasional crunching of stone on the roads.With nothing to do, he could only observe the visual texture that his odd vision gave him. By then, he had adapted to it, and no headaches followed any more. He found traces of blood on his hand belonging to the soldier he had killed out of impulse. Another small patch that was green instead was on his lower arm, probably Spike's when the Xenomorph was protecting him overhead.Arius turned away, thinking nothing more of it.In the back of his mind, he could sense Spike. The Xenomorph was never far from him, probably too concerned to truly leave him alone. Back even when he was being cuffed, he could feel the Xenomorph's presence in the shadows. Now, Spike was in the near distance, following. Not too closely, but surely. Arius had confidence that Spike would be able to find him no matter what.Arius was mildly startled when he felt movement near his wrist. He peered at the driver and the passenger, ensuring that they weren't looking through the window. Discreetly, he shifted his hand. It was a little difficult with the handcuffs, but he managed to rest his palm on the spot where his young grew situated in his abdomen. Surprisingly, it was slightly bigger already, active and well despite what it had gone through.A smile graced his lips. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- It wasn't quite nostalgia that Arius felt when he could hear the familiar machinery and mechanisms inside Espera Military Base. Where he sat in the back of the truck, unattended due to the absence of the driver and the passenger, he observed his surrounding through his smell and hearing. The rumble of engines and the pattering of rubber on cemented floor seemed almost foreign to him. They reverberated through his head like an orchestra, and normally, he wouldn't care less. But now, these sounds were screaming danger to him – that it wasn't safe for him. The smell of other people (it seemed stronger?) and metal made him internally flinch.Arius almost laughed at himself at how he thought a highly secured place seem threatening to him now. Every sound, whether he could identify or not, made him anxious. He could hear the soldiers clanking about with their gears, perhaps with someone giving orders. They started to surround the vehicle he was in. His fingers curled but remained on his lap, obedient. When the doors to the back of the truck opened, he had to grimace and turn away at the sudden light that blinded the pseudo-vision he had come to possess.He still had no idea how his 'sight' worked. It seemed to only go away if he fell unconscious. So far, he concluded that bright light was not pleasant to this odd vision. Where he could 'see', everything was still hazy and blurred, but he could make out shapes. Two soldier entered the back of the truck and grabbed him by the shoulders. He allowed himself to be steered out, albeit roughly. Briefly, he wondered what the military would do to him as he was being escorted into the belly of the military base. As far as he knew, he would definitely be charged with homicide. It wasn't his intention; it just happened. Oddly enough, he still couldn't bring himself to regret it. Arius was brought into a small room that had a single table and a single chair. An interrogation room, perhaps? Roughly, he shoved in the direction of the seat. Now, directly under the bright lighting above, he had to reach out carefully and came in contact with the table first. Slowly, he found the chair proper and settled. He was left alone then.Arius sat quietly in the room. It seemed to be soundproof, and his connection with Spike had been temporarily severed the moment he entered Espera Military Base. At least, he hoped it was only temporary. The Xenomorph was either too far away, or maybe the thick walls of the structure hindered their link. It was unsettling, but he found himself being able to trust that Spike would not give up on finding him. He pondered for a moment, wondering if it was a move he should have taken.Ever since that happened, Arius couldn't help but notice things changing about him. Not just physically, but mentally as well. It was starting to scare him.The metal door hissed opened sharply, startling Arius out of his thoughts. He didn't move. It was hard to fake his blindness when he could 'see' now. He still hasn't figured out how it worked entirely.“O'Klein,” Delgado's voice greeted him. The presence of the scientist made Arius bristle. Unwittingly, the word 'danger' came to his mind. He leaned into his seat, with any fraction of increased distance between them being comforting. “I must say, I'm pretty disappointed for someone from the health industry actually causing harm. It's rather ironic, isn't it.”Arius opened his mouth, about to retort when he paused to re-think his intention. There wasn't a need to defend himself, but neither did he owe an explanation. His act of protecting Spike was a witnessed fact, and there was nothing else to justify it. Perhaps, if he had time to consider his actions, he could have acted out differently that didn't end the soldier dead. “Have you sunk so low that you're siding the monster?” This had Arius twitching a finger. “Who exactly are the real monsters here?” The empath spoke calmly. He'd keep his head up, if it weren't for the light in the room that was affecting his vision. “You took him from his home. You tried to make him your pet, when you know truly well he was out of your league. You punish him for doing something that is in his nature. If anything, you're the monster here, Delgado.”Arius could only register a sudden seething hatred directed his way, coupled with the stomping of shoes before a loud slap resonated in his head.Arius let out a sharp gasp of pain when he collapsed to the floor, having stumbled off his chair when a force hit his cheek came unexpectedly. He found himself viewing the dusty ground, registering the searing ache in his cheek. Coppery taste filled his mouth, and he grimaced. “Despite everything, you're still defending it, I see. It was a very grave mistake on my part for letting you work with it. Your unique ability is such a waste, since you are a betrayer of mankind. A freak like you and a monster like that shouldn't exist. But perhaps that is why you both get along so well.”The empath's chest tightened. His fingers curled where they were pressed on the floor. He knew he shouldn't let Delgado's words affect him, but it hurt, nevertheless. The scientist's words weren't new to him; he'd had his own fair share of shaming and ostracizing when he was younger, much meeker and unable to defend himself. It was different now as an adult, but as an empath he could tell when someone still kept him at a distance. And in return, so had he.Footsteps announced the arrival of other soldiers, probably the two who had been his escort prior. Delgado ordered them to take him away. Where to, he couldn't be sure. His shoulders did tremble when he heard Delgado exit, muttering that he'll 'deal with him later'.Someone closed in on him just as Arius tried to get up on his own. The soldier grabbed his lower arm and hauled him up roughly to his feet.“Come on, we're putting you in the cell until Delgado decides what to do with you,” the soldier who seized Arius gruffed out. It seemed like the scientist held his fate in the palm of his hand, and Arius gritted his teeth at that fact. He was about to reply when the soldier suddenly yelped and removed his grip. It took the empath by surprise when the man backed away, having grasped his own wrist and crying out in what seemed to be pain. “It burns! It fuckin' burns!” Panic flooded the room as the second soldier flanked the first one. Up-turning the hand, the man's glove had dissolved a hole, and the surrounding material seemed to be melting. Frantically, the second man came to his aid, removing the accessory and everyone in the room was shocked to a coin-sized third-degree burn eating into his palm. “What the hell happened?!” Delgado returned, and narrowed his gaze at the soldier who was wailing. He caught sight of the injury that was sickeningly familiar.The scientist stomped over and turned to face Arius for an answer. The empath merely had a stunned look on his face, not knowing what had just occurred. He jumped when Delgado grabbing his elbow and pulled roughly, forcing him to straighten his arm into extension.“This is Xenomorph blood,” Delgado growled out at the sight of green smudged on the skin. “Xenomorph blood is highly acidic and should have burned a hole through your limb by now.” Arius was puzzled. He knew nothing of the alien's physiology. He didn't know that Spike's blood was able to do such damage. But clearly, it was evident that he was not affected by the blood, whereas the soldier before him had his palm seared to the bone. “What did you do!?” Delgado yelled angrily grabbing Arius by the shoulders. The empath was shocked at the sudden rage and disbelief directed his way. The menace in the tone and action made him flinch away reflexively. “I didn't do anything,” Arius seethed out through gritted teeth. It was the truth, after all. He tested the boundaries in attempt to shy away from the other, but the vice grip held him in place. “Something must have happened,” the scientist snapped at the unsatisfactory answer as he shoved the empath away. He turned to the uninjured soldier. “Get him to the infirmary, then this thing to the lab,” he barked the order. As soon as an affirmative was received, all the military personnel left the room, leaving Arius locked inside the interrogation room.Where Arius was left standing, he clutched a shoulder that Delgado had grabbed tighter with his dominant hand. It was nothing more than a lingering ache. Finding that he could do nothing more, he returned to being seated on the given chair. Idly, he brushed his hand against the stains on his lower arm, taking whatever remained of Spike's blood. Curiously, he smeared it on the table before him, and could heard the audible sizzling of something dissolving. It sounded like firecracker in his ears. It was pleasing. “Vital signs are within human limits. Bloodwork unremarkable. ” .... “Do an ultrasound to check if there are any organ abnormalities.” Close. “Thoracic cavity negative.” Too close. “Sir, there's a... foreign object in the abdomen. It looks like a... is that an embryo?” Stay away. “His heart rate is increasing drastically-” “He's waking up!” “That's impossible! The dosage we gave him should at least knock him out for another four hours!”“Pin him- KUGH” “Get him off !” “Ready another shot of sedatives! Now!” “Get-!” Arius had gotten used to telling the difference being 'conscious' and 'unconscious'. His odd, hazy vision registered the image of a plain wall directly opposite to where he woke. He had been dumped on a bed, and he tilted his head upwards. At the head of the bed were cell bars, and before it an empty chair. Perhaps for the guard who would watch over him. Instantly, he sat up, hand reaching for the spot where he last checked the growing young was. Thankfully, it was fine. If anything, it was bigger. His thoughts jumpstarted. He remembered a doctor entering the interrogation room. He had been resisting for a while before a needle was stuck into his arm. No doubt, it had been a sedative, and it had knocked him out instantly. But other than this, he could recalled nothing else. Arius clutched his head, feeling a headache make itself known. There were fleeting images in his memory, but they were too unclear to be made sense of. He remembered seeing medical equipment, doctors... blood. He glanced at his free hand and wondered why his nails seemed to itch. That was when it occurred to him that there were red stains at the tips of his digits. The coppery smell was tell-tale to what it actually was. What in the world happened? The sound of approaching footsteps took his attention away, and the sliding door to the room holding the cell hissed opened. Arius bristled at the figure by the doorway, but not a second later he realised that it was a familiar individual. He sighed out his name, in relief even.Oakley walked up to the bars without hesitance, and took a seat on the chair provided. "They sent me to talk to you in hopes that we can work something out."Arius had to give a dry laugh in response. Delgado seemed to have a thing for sending a middle-man. Had he not learnt his lesson by now?"Before that... what happened?" His head lowered, and his fingers flexed. The blood left a caking feeling on his skin, and a coppery scent surprisingly not unpleasant for his nose.“Apparently, whilst on the medical table, you woke earlier than the sedatives were meant to knock you out for. The very first thing you did, while subconsciously it seemed, was to dig your nails into the nearest doctor's throat. It was strong enough that you pierced through his neck and you essentially gutted him there.”Arius inhaled deeply and nodded at the information given. Once again, he found himself hurting another. The worse part? He still didn't feel remorse. It was as if the soldier deserved to be put down because he intended to hurt Spike; how retaliating against a doctor, who had knocked him out against his will, was appropriate.He clenched his fists, wondering if this bizarre violent tendencies of his would cease. This wasn't like him. Thinking that he shouldn't care about people's lives wasn't empathic.Arius recalled the reason for being here in the first place. It was a fleeting thought of having Spike do away with Delgado, who had been the root of the problem. How could he even fathom to think such a thing? He had live his life helping people, aiding and saving them from others or themselves. He was not a person who inflicts violence, or worse, condone murder.I'm losing myself. Oakley stood up from the chair and walked over. “There's going to more problems for you. Delgado has your medical testing and records, and he has sent them to the board. From what I heard, a few higher ups in charge, together with the two sponsors, will be here within the next twenty-four hours. To meet you, I presume.”That was last thing the brunette wanted. Out of urgency, he reached out and clutched the bars, leaning forward as far as he could.“Oak, you have to get me out of here,” Arius said, exasperated. “Please, Spike will come here for me, and he'll kill anyone who stands in his way.” He'll kill you. “You know I can't do that,” Oakley gritted his teeth. He didn't mean to get worked up, and he settled himself by crossing arms. He chewed the inside of his cheek, trying to word himself carefully in order not to get caught on recording. The corner of the room had a camera watching their every move. Arius lowered his head, defeated. He knew Oakley couldn't turn against his company. It had been immoral of him to get his friend to commit treason, just like what he supposedly he had done. He shouldn't have even suggested Oakley to help him. He cannot pull Oakley down with him. “You... can see somehow, can't you?” The sudden change in topic caught Arius off-guard, and the empath lifted his head.“How did you...?” “A few oddities,” Oakley continued, rubbing the back of his neck. Awkwardness rolled off him, but he continued: “You've told me before that you completely lack the necessary organs, but I've noticed that your movements have been exceptionally precise. You were able to intercept a soldier firing a gun, grab and stab him with a knife, no less. You were able to grab the cell bars without even reaching out to check if they were there. And I'm not sure if you're aware of it, but your head follows every direction I've been moving.”Arius was startled by how Oakley had it figured out. Though frankly, he was impressed by his friend's observational skills. He hadn't even realised he was being tested, and he lowered his head in embarrassment. It was then he realised that these people keeping him here probably knew about him more than he knew himself. This scared him. “Next, Delgado had specifically shared a few reports to me, saying that your visual cortex and auditory circuits are extremely different from a normal person's. It might be contributed to the fact that you've been blind all the while, but something triggered a change in the neurological system.”The empath sighed. As his friend spoke, the urgency in his tone started to grow. He could tell Oakley wanted him to speak from his own mouth to confirm the suspicions. It was endearing, if not a silly notion to consider.Delgado was right. At this point, he was truly a freak."I'm not... Oak, I'm probably not human anymore. Either that, or I'm definitely become less human. I'm getting thoughts I shouldn't have; I'm losing emotions that I'm supposed to feel, as a person. Whatever's happening right now, I feel it, know it, that eventually I'm not even going to recognise you anymore." Arius clutched his head and let out a pained sigh."The speculation is that whatever's inside you is causing your physiology to shift to a Xenomorph's. Let the doctors and Delgado take it out. Maybe it'll reverse the process-"The mere suggestion of it terrified Arius instantly as he pulled back away from the bars. "No! I'm not letting... him anywhere near it!"“They can try to remove it before it's due-”“They're not taking it from me, ever!”"Are you saying you want it?" Oakley had practically shouted in disbelief. He kept his gaze firmly on the brunette cowering inside the cell area, out of reach. Arius back up against the suspended bed, and dropped to a crouch on the ground. Hands clasped the sides of his head. The empath fell silent, seemingly unable to put up a fight anymore.Oakley took a deep breath. It was harder than he had thought. Never in his life would he ever expect someone who would be willing to keep an... alien inside them.“It's going to kill you, Arius. Let us help you. You do want to be saved, don't you?” He tried again in the most gentle tone he could muster. Yet, it still wavered, and he mentally scolded himself for it."I- I don't know," Arius uttered, head lowered and shaking. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."Oakley could only clench his fists. He stared at his friend who was reduced to a small figure on the floor, apologising over and over. Oakley Henderson conveniently jumped a rank when the previous commander was killed by a civilian. A civilian who happened to be his friend. He wasn't close to the commander, so he hadn't felt truly upset. What got him the most was that he noticed Arius changing in more ways than one. Both physically and mentally.It was probably the main reason why he was tasked with being the one person to interact with O'Klein face-to-face. Delgado was aware that they shared a friendship, and riding on this fact, he was made to be in charge of O'Klein in hopes that the man wouldn't turned violent against his own friend. It was clear the man reacted adversely to other people. Thus, Oakley was assigned to be Delgado's 'personal assistant' for the time being."Sir," Oak greeted when he entered the office exclusively reserved for said scientist. From where Oakley stood at the doorway, he briefly glanced at the holding room on the left which was meant for the Xenomorph. Dried blood stains were haphazardly smeared against the glass, left uncleaned and forgotten despite the gut-hurling sight.“Any luck?” The man asked without looking up from his messy table.“Negative. O'Klein is adamant about any procedure which involves that he carries.”“It was expected. Not that it matters anyway. We wouldn't have been able to carry out surgery even if we wanted to.”Oakley narrowed his gaze. “Sir? I'm not sure I understand that.”Delgado straightened up without turning to even spare a glance. As he did, he lifted a test tube, high enough that Oakley found himself staring at the sight of the lower half missing. It puzzled him as to what he was supposed to understand being presented this."O'Klein's blood was stored in this. Unfortunately, it decided to burn through my table as well.""Wasn't his blood was taken just two hours ago?" Oakley had to ask just to confirm the timeline of the happenings. “The doctors had said back then that there was nothing unusual in Arius' blood.”"Now you see, genetics works wonders, doesn't it? As you said, O'Klein presented with nothing. Just an hour later, when I wanted to do a re-run of the blood tests, this is what I returned to. Effectively, it means O'Klein is indeed turning into one of them."Oakley felt his blood freeze. He didn't like where this was heading. Any prior plans he had made before might be for naught if everything was to snowball."What do we do now?" He asked, praying that his intention for doing so wasn't suspicious."We wait for O'Klein to present us our first hybrid child." ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- It was time.The first sign of the offpsring ready to emerge came as a nasty, sharp pain occurring in Arius' abdomen. He felt as if a knife had just ran through his gut mercilessly. He doubled over in surprise with a pained cry, clutching the roundness. Something skittered under his skin and he gritted his teeth, knowing the activeness of the child meant that they were coming.It had been around five hours since Arius had been detained. Perhaps another five or six since the coupling. Arius has long lost track of the times since, and mentally he was calling for the Xenomorph. Spike was still no where to be seen or heard. Maybe Spike had given up on him, and the child that was within him. It was probably not an unusual move on the alien's part since he was in enemy ground, dangerous and not worth risking his life for.Arius mentally laughed at his own naivety when he hoped for the best.Through the spiking pains Arius barely registered a group of people flooding into the holding room he was in. The bars were lifted and people were starting to flock around him. Delgado was barking orders left and right, but the words were white noise when his entire had only one focus: to give birth.A sharp, ear-splitting scream that resembled nothing a human could vocalise cut through the air. Everyone was stunned when Arius, laying half-prone on the floor to avoid lying on his stomach, raised his head and snarled. The team backed off, unsure of how dangerous the person may be in his current state.“Sir, what do we do? We don't know if it's a burster or-”“Gag him, and haul him to the medical room. If it comes down to it, extract the hybrid, even if it costs O'Klein's life,” Delgado ordered quickly.“You are not taking him from-” Arius' seething words were cut off when a strap was forced across his mouth. Someone had managed to come up behind him and it was being tightened against his head uncomfortably. He tried to pry it off, but using his arms made them easily accessibly and he incoherently protested when hands tightened around his limbs.They were forced to his sides and a crew of four men tugged him up onto his feet. They were not soldiers, so their grips were weaker and unsure, but it enough to feel just as threatening. Arius swore he would fight tooth and nail if it weren't for the pain causing his handicap. It was no more than a second of being in an upright position that another surge of pain laced through his abdomen and he curled forward, gag muffling a pained scream. His resistance didn't matter to the doctors because they were forcing him to move through all the agony. Arms around his chest and waist hauled him forward, through doors and hallways he couldn't recognise or process.His head was swimming as his pain receptors were constantly flaring, threatening to throw him into a state of unconsciousness in response. Moving was putting his nerves through a burn he had never felt before, there were tell-tale contractions he never knew possible happening at the level of his abdomen.With a strong heave he was shoved on top of a white medical bed carelessly. The comfort of the sheets did not last when his wrists were seized and held down by thick straps at the level of his head, forcing his arms into an uncomfortable position that made his back arch a little.Arius' muffled screamed echoed the same as when his head threw back, slamming against the cushioned material. His struggles caused the straps around his wrist to bite, but the pain from it was nothing compared to the one occurring as the newborn was forcing its way out for freedom. The lower half of his clothing had been removed, modesty stripped from his being. The shirt he wore was hiked up to the level of his chest, and for the first time, Delgado and the medical crew stared in horror.The buldge that was Arius' abdomen was moving. The discolored, bruising skin had small, raised bumps where the foetus was pushing against flesh, seeking an exit. Arius choked against the gag when he could feel slick fluid pooling between his legs. He couldn't even find the embarrassment laying spread eagle before so many people as his body forced itself to prepare for the birth. All his mind was instinctually telling him to do was keep his muscles active to push the child out.Sweat soaked through the shirt he wore. Hair clung messily against his moist skin. Teeth bit down on the gag so hard that he swore the corners of his mouth would start to bleed. His arms and legs trembled as his body reflexively pushed the mass lower to the exit. In midst of the mess and haze that his mind was in, he was thankful the medical team wasn't doing anything to remotely interrupt the process.A deep heave made Arius bite down onto the gag, uncaring if it cut his skin. He could feel a part of the foetus' body emerging, easing out with the wetness that lubricated their exit. Tears stung trickled down his cheek as the pain was unbearable from the sharp contractions his muscles were not meant to do. It seemed like an eternity before the large mass was fully expelled from his core.His chest rose and fell rapidly, trying to recover. The medical room was silent save his heavy breathing. Arius' consciousness was starting to waver in the aftermath, but all he wanted to do now was to take a look at the baby, hold them close and...“Take the infant. The placental fluids are not acidic,” Delgado, who had been observing all these while, ordered all of a sudden, Hearing it made Arius jumpstart into a second struggle despite the residual pain from the recent birthing.Fear, discomfort. These weren't his emotions, not the least, because he was angry and hysterical. These were once again juvenile, like an unsure, blossoming feeling. They were still finding a direction, and it was forcing a sense of protectiveness to swell in Arius' chest. He was sensing his baby's emotions vividly. The medical crew drew closer with slight caution, one holding a blanket. Arius wrestled the straps to the best of his abilities, but with most of the energy spent into the labour, he could only manage a weak struggle. From the corner he saw the doctor lift a small, undersized baby whose skin was patchy with pinkish fluid. Something told him the infant was a boy when he let out a typical whimper to show his irritation and unease.It willed a desperate surge of strength into him, and Arius snapped the gag when his blood eventually burned through a side.“Give him back!” Arius screeched, his voice startled the people in the room, and upon hearing it the infant started to shriek in response to his parent's voice and emotions. Both parent and child seemed to fuel each other's emotions, and Arius was thrashing with newfound determination, pain forgotten.“Get it out of here, now!” The scientist ordered and the others proceeded as told.“And O'Klein, sir?!” One of the medical crew questioned in the chaos that was Arius' voice, rattling bounds, and scuffling feet.“Give him a general anaesthesia. I want the chemical compound of the placental fluid and details on his other vitals where possible. We're taking the hybrid to the other medical lab to analyse,” Delgado seethed as he evacuated the room with the doctor holding the wrapped bundle. He threw one last glance before the door closed, only to see Arius fighting the straps that tied him down as his vocals screeched an octave inhumanly possible. The moment Oakley heard rumors of Arius having gone into labour, he rushed to find Delgado. He silently cursed and scolded himself for being away when Arius needed him most. His conscience was telling him otherwise, though, reasoning that his absence was for his friend's sake. He found Delgado at the other end of Espera Military base, much further from where Arius' holding cell was. The scientist had just exited this wing's medical bay, and was looking back inside talking to another person.“Let me know once the second round of blood tests are done,” Delgado told the doctor as the door closed.Oakley couldn't believe what he was hearing. Was the implication on Arius or the baby who couldn't have been born long ago? Were they working on them already?“Sir,” Oakley quickly called out to announce his approach. Delgado cast him a look in reflex, and grunted in mild irritation. The scientist walked past the commander, pulling his tablet out and pretended not to see him.“Sir, the baby is ok, aren't they?”“He seems functional,” the older man gruffed out. It was clear he didn't want to entertain the soldier's questions.“And Arius?”“Alive enough be further worked with once he recovers.” Oakley had to bite down on making a nasty remark on the way Delgado was treating his friend. But what he heard next made him unable to stay silent: “We're keeping them permanently separated.”“Why!?”Delgado let out a loud snort, as if tired of stating the obvious. “Letting O'Klein near the infant will do us no good. I doubt he would be willing to let us run our tests in peace. The quicker we identify the genetic makeup of this thing, the better prepared we can be in the future,” Delgado was tapping away on the tablet his hand, not even sparing a glance in the soldier's direction.“Sir, with all due respect. You probably shouldn't have taken the baby from O'Klein. He needs his parent-” Delgado abruptly stopped in his tracks and threw a raised eyebrow at Oakley, studying him. By no means was the scientist a big man, but he made the soldier freeze and question what he had just said.“Are you sympathising with this alien, Commander? Because I can assure you, no good will come out of it. You do not understand the gravity of the situation we are in. If that thing is anywhere similar to the XH species, I guarantee you this base, this country and this planet can be easily doomed within the next twenty-four hours. Are you willing to take that risk?”Oakley's jaw tightened, but remained silent. He was given a crash course on how the Xenomorphs worked, but he would never know them the way the scientist did. It ticked him off, but he knew he could speak no further.“It is not human, Commander Henderson. If you are unable to distinguish this fact, you are only going to make it very difficult for yourself,” Delgado mused. "If the hybrid does require a parent, we'll look into finding a surrogate. There is zero chance of us allowing O'Klein reunite with the offspring.”Oakley could only grit his teeth and clench his fist.The next thing he knew, two hours later, Oakley was in Delgado's lab with Releksi, Harper and four of the highers up he had never seen or heard before. They were clustered near the front where a large holographic screen was being projected. He instead stood right at the back of the room, completely unbothered by the room behind which had been colorfully decorated by blood.The last time Oakley saw the child dubbed as a 'hybrid', he was smaller than an average human baby, as the data showed that Arius would've resembled no more than a mother six months in. Nevertheless, he seemed well, asleep and sound. Looks-wise, the baby probably would've undeniably resembled his parent. He remembered seeing Arius' baby photo once, but alike the parent, he did not know his eye color. No hair was present, but he would most likely end up with chestnut brown locks.Arius, on the other hand, was no where to be seen or heard, but Delgado assured him that his friend was alive and recovering. The scientist refused to disclose Arius' location.The child was left in a medical pod. It wouldn't be a lie to say that they were keeping the child inside an enclosed area for safety reasons. For the safety of the baby, or for the safety of the crew, he couldn't tell. At the same time though, the medical pod provided a sterile and heated environment that would hopefully be suitable. For now, it seemed like there was little abnormality in his growth rate and the medical team relaxed knowing that he wasn't going to turn into a six-foot being in an hour flat.Oakley's attention turned to the scientist when he started speaking and expanding the screen behind him. He eyed the large screen that begun to focus, and the first thing which appeared was Arius' profile. Name, age, occupation, and a detailed background on the empath. Information that he as a friend probably wouldn't know either.“Good day to everyone. I'm sure you've taken time to read the reports and results of O'Klein, and are probably highly curious as to what's going on presently,” Delgado began as his digits sifted through the tablet he held. “As you know, he had been used by XH-022 to be a host by some non-traditional means. Fortunately, it is unlike the usual Xenomorph cycle, and O'Klein was not subjected to a burster when the newborn was due. He is currently recovering and you will be able to meet him in due time.“I've taken the liberty of working with the medical team to run a physical examination and bloodwork of the newborn. Our blessing is that this child does not have acidic blood like its parents, and generally created no fuss while being handled. It is currently scheduled undergo long-term analysis and tests, so I will first present the findings thus far.”Delgado used the tablet in his hand to control the images on the larger screen. Pixels flickered, and and Arius' profile was replaced with an image of the newborn shown laying on a white bed, inside the same medical pod Oakley had last seen him in. The sight of multiple pin pricks on his inner arm made his blood boil, and fists clenched tightly under his crossed arms.“We have decided to call this unique hybrid an 'Otromorph'. Do not be fooled by its human appearance, however, because genetically it is proven not to be what it appears as.”The next image flickered, showing a DNA sequence and a graph next to it. It depicted the DNA molecular structure of three different types, labelled as 'Human', 'Xenomorph' and 'Otromorph'. Several points of the DNA segments were highlighted out, and the base comparison of the three species strands were done. In relation to the human, the Xenomorph DNA presented with 14.7% similarity, while the Otromorph showed 88.7%.“Under normal circumstances, when a human is being used as a host by a process we call parasitic deposition, the embryo undergoes a process called 'DNA Reflex'. This is where the parasite absorbs part of their host's DNA and integrates it in their own, forming a slight mutation and hybridism. Generally, the DNA Reflex takes an approximate 15% of the host. However, in the case of the Otromorph, I believe the process is reversed. Perhaps as a mechanism of survival, a direct impregnation has evolved to take a much higher percentage of its host, and in this case, Arius O'Klein. The result, as you can see, is a relatively human-looking offspring.”The next photograph that was put on the screen showed the baby prone. “It's not obvious, but the only unusual physical traits are the exceptionally long spinous processes and coccygeal bone that heavily protrudes.” A red laser pointer circled the child's back which showed multiple prominent bumps. “In the future, these have a potential to grow to resemble the dorsal tubes and tail of the Xenomorph species. At this point, it's impossible to tell. Thus far, it seems to not have the accelerated growth rate a Xenomorph has, maintaining its size for the past few hours til now. Thus, it is deemed to grow at the rate of a normal child.”“What is your next desired approach, then?” Releksi questioned from where he sat.“We shall have the Otromorph under our care and monitor its progress. It could be the key to bridging the species of humans and Xenomorph. Since it is only a newborn, we can mostly definitely raise it in a manner beneficial to us.” Oakley had to take a deep breath after absorbing so much information. He continued listening half-heartedly to the conversation between Delgado and the higher ups, while his hands fiddled with themselves. The plans in his head might have to be changed and be played by ear, especially since there would be more than one person he had to take out of this base alive now. Hold on, Arius. You'll be out of this soon, I swear on my life. Arius couldn't tell how long he'd been on the bed, abandoned without care. When he woke through the general anaesthesia, he had been alone. The medical crew probably accomplished what they were required of, and left after getting what they wanted. He was abandoned to mend through his own wounds.He was long past the state of physical exhaustion while his mental state fared no better. He hadn't moved since, lying partially on his side. The scent of his own blood mixed with whatever fluid that came with had dried, sticking to his skin uncomfortably. The bed was equally soaked, cold.However, he could care for none of that. All he had been doing was silently begging for someone, anyone, to return what belonged to him. His friend was no where to be seen, and he wasn't even sure Oakley knew where he was.Through walls and walls of steel and concrete, he could feel his child's fear and crying in his mind from the time of birth. Agony surged through his core for every moment he was being seek as a parent for protection. Arius couldn't comprehend why he could feel the newborn's emotions, but the connection was stronger than what he had with Spike. He could hear his baby crying out to him for help and safety as clearly as if it was happening right before him.The newborn's suffering spiked several times within the time that they had been separated, and Arius had tears running down his face endlessly. He didn't deserve this; he was only a baby. This was all his fault. Anguish tore at his soul. He had never felt this helpless in his entire life.A rattling noise caught his attention, tearing his attention away from the mental state of his child. He peered up and made out a large, black blur. The ceiling had a gaping hole and the figure slithered from ceiling to floor in complete silence. “Spike, Spike,” Arius rasped out, digits reaching out to the large, black figure. He was late, but it comforted Arius knowing that the Xenomorph had not abandoned him as he thought initially. Spike approached without hesitation and nudged the digits as a soft, unthreatening rumble escaped. He realised that his mate was held down by a weird contraption by the limbs and he growled at it. As if knowing, he lowered his jaw with a hiss and his inner jaw struck, tearing the material into half without injuring Arius.The empath was relieved of the binds on one hand, but he was far from being able to move. He watched the Xenomorph pulled away slightly, tilting its large dome as if searching for something. Arius knew what the other was looking for. His heart shattered for the uncountable time since the forced separation, and he inhaled sharply. “They took him. They took the baby,” he swallowed with his head lowered as Spike's face drew close. He managed to nuzzled against Arius' forehead, trying to comfort the distressed human. He crooned softly, understanding that the offspring was most likely taken away.“He's hurting. They're hurting him,” the tone of Arius' pained voice turned icy, dangerous. Anger raked at his being, heightening now that he knew Spike was here and could do something about it. “He's only a baby and these monsters are hurting him."Slowly, the empath lifted his hand, brushing along the side of Spike's face and uncaring for the slick that coated the rubbery skin. He cupped the solid jawline of the alien, and pulled it even closer with a strength he never knew he could muster at that point despite being riddled with exhaustion.“Find him. Find my baby, and bring him back to me,” Arius hissed out, venom dripping in his tone. “Kill anyone who stands in your way.”To hell with the humans; they took what belonged to him, and now they will pay the price with their lives.Spike let out a low snarl as a pleased agreement at the order issued to him. With the grace and sleekness he prided in, the Xenomorph slithered back into the darkness he had came from, and begun the instinct his kind was primed for. To hunt. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Oakley had always preferred being second-in-command. It gave him the leeway of being in control of certain things, but he wasn't in charge overall. He's still have to listen to his commander, who gave the final decisions. Thoughts about being a commander crossed his mind once in a while, wondering if things would ended differently if orders came from his mouth. That, and he should have seen it coming when said commander was dismissed from the army via termination.Surprisingly, there were no qualms from the Azure Platoon. The sub-squads, his teammates, favoured his strong but reasonable authority, rather than the previous commander's ruling with an iron fist. As the new superior, he received countless word of support and encouragement. They offered him their aid, saying that they would return favours in a heartbeat. Oakley didn't think he'd have to take their offer into consideration until today. The sudden blasting of the overhead alarms caused every person in Delgado's office to jump. A robotic voice started announcing about a 'red alert', but gave no information other than that. Oakley narrowed his gaze when he knew who... or what it could have been. He snatched his comm from his waist and jammed the button on the side, entering a universal channel.“Report,” he ordered. Anyone was allowed to reply him as long as they knew what was going on. It was silent for a moment, and Oakley ignored the stares of the room's occupants as he started towards the door.“Sir,” a female voice replied, and he recognised it to be Elleen, the lady in charge of the security cams on base. “There is confirmation of XH-022's presence within the base. It is on a rampage; any personnel he meets are immediately killed. Thus far, he has killed nine.”How risky, Oakley thought to himself. For a predator who was known for its stealth and silent kills, it was making quite a scene. Was it doing on purpose? Perhaps making a stand to just show exactly who was the superior species?“Can you pinpoint its exact location?” Oakley questioned once he out the room. The people inside need not hear about what's going on.“Negative, sir. It's using the ventilation system in the ceiling to travel. I can only identify its location when it's not up there.” Fair enough.“Where has it been thus far?”“The canteen, the hallway of the dorms... It seems to be heading towards-” Elleen's voice was interrupted with a guy shouting in the background, and it was accompanied with an inhuman screech. In response, the woman screamed too, and everything went silent.The commander felt his blood turn cold. The security room was along that general direction XH-022 was heading.“Elleen? Elleen!” He yelled through the comms. Oakley clicked his tongue, mentally mapping out where the Xenomorph might be heading next. If his guess was correct, it was heading straight for the med bay where the infant was. How it knew, he did not know.This was their chance, however. If he played his cards right, he could save Arius and his child. He wasn't sure how the Xenomorph would be added into the equation, but he didn't want to think about it yet.He broke into a run, yelling into the comm as he passed soldiers who wore either fear or confusion on their faces.“Control station, do an evacuation and lockdown, now!” He ordered. An affirmative was given, and a different sounding alarm echoed through the base. One more blaring, indicative of a higher danger level.“Everyone's safety is a priority; Alpha crew, head to the security room. We need eyes on the screens. Beta, Charlie, Delta, secure all entrances, make sure nothing alien gets out. The rest of the squads, evacuate all non-military personnel off base and be on stand-by for further instructions from alpha once they secure the cams.” He paused. He needed to make his orders more plausible, and he swallowed.“Shoot XH-022 on sight.”Once delivering a convincing set of orders, he pulled out a small hand-held device that was round with a screen showing a radar. It had been a tracker he had secretly placed with the infant in order to be able to track his whereabouts. Currently, the red pulsing dot on the screen wasn't moving, meaning that the child has yet to be removed from the medical bay. He maneuvered through the corridors and in the direction of the room.When Oakley pushed the button that opened the door to the medical bay, he had not expected to be hit with the thick, metallic scent of blood. A hand rushed to cover his noise. Blood and death wasn't an unusual sight for him, but it still took a moment to get used it. His eyes scanned the room, and there were four dead white coats sprawled on the floor. Blood stains blotched over their initially pristine pullover was indicative that the Xenomorph had been ruthless in its task.He sucked in a breath through his teeth, focusing on the task at hand.Cautiously, he looked around. It was completely silent, with not a single movement in sight. The Xenomorph itself was no where in sight. That was an unsettling thought.Oakley pushed forward to the medical pod, avoiding the dead bodies of the doctors (or what's left of them, to be exact) laying haphazardly aross the room. He chose to ignore the multiple streaks of bloodstain on the hood. Inside, the infant was safe, blessed by his state of unawareness to the dangers surrounding him. Oakley gave a mental sigh of relief.He fumbled for a little, searching for the button that released the catch of the pod. He watched with the mental drumming of seconds as the synthetic glass lifted. It opened painstakingly slow, and even before it could fully so, his hands dived for the baby, picking him up in the blanket he was bundled in. He turned around, only to find a black mass between him and the only way out. His blood froze instantly at the sight of XH-022.The Xenomorph was facing him, and Oakley didn't doubt that its attention was directed his way. It was the first time Oakley came this close, face-to-face with its menacing sight. Currently, it was half-crouched on all fours, but even then its height easily reached Oakley's chest level. Oakley took in the sight of its physical features under the bright lights of the medical bay, and he could see exactly how clearly this alien was built for the first time in his life.Its blunt, human-like teeth was bared with charcoal lips twitching. The Xenomorph had yet to move, simply keeping its distance of a few feet. Its long tail swished slightly, as if daring him to make a move. At the same time, Oakley could tell that it was guarded, but of what? Having known the prowess of this alien species, killing him would be a simple task. There wasn't a need to hesitate, but something was holding the Xenomorph back this time.He pondered about it for a precious second, and realised that it was because of the bundle he held.It was probably waiting for someone to open the medical pod, because while intelligent, it did not know how to access the infant. The blood stains on the hood of the device may have been due to the Xenomorph trying to open it, and not a dead doctor scrabbling at the glass.Since Oakley held the baby, it may have been wary that the soldier would harm the infant in his arms. He tested his theory, and shifted the baby slightly. The Xenomorph instantly hissed and flinched back a fraction.Oakley gave a mental heave. He had to get out of here before... well, before everything plummets into an irreversible shit hole. The Xenomorph was in his way, and he still had to find Arius.Wait, he mentally paused. Perhaps the alien may know where his friend was? Though, it hadn't really mattered once Alpha squad secured the cam room.There was a possibility of the Xenomorph taking the infant and running off. But it may just be a good idea if he wanted the child out of harm's way. It could leave him to prioritise saving Arius.He took a deep breath, and hoped for the best. It was a big gamble, but it was now or never."Spike," he tried. He remembered that Arius would often address the Xenomorph by its so-called name. Maybe he could try to make himself to seem less of a threat.To his relief, the Xenomorph ceased its hissing and lip twitches. It remained unmoving, save the slimy secretions that fell from its face. It evidently waited.Oakley dropped to his knees as slowly as he could, keeping him movements unalarming. Spiked kept its attention (did it even have eyes, Oakley wondered) on him, head tilting slightly as the human lowered himself to a kneel.Oakley extended his arms with the infant, leaning as far as he could reach to place the baby on the floor. As close as he could put it towards the Xenomorph, to show that he meant no harm and was willing to return the infant.Spike tilted its head slightly for a moment, watching as Oakley's hands retreated from the offspring. The Xenomorph let out a low growl but proceeded forward slowly on all fours. Oakley's gaze instantly flicked up to a long tailed that was coiled and ready to dart forward at any moment. He held his breath as Spike approached, clearing the distance between the two of them.Oakley didn't dare to move a muscle, even when a stray trickle of sweat made him tempted to wipe his face. He didn't know if he ought to stare at the Xenomorph as he approached. Nevertheless, his eyes never left the hulking form that lumbered in his direction.Spike stopped before the tiny mass, peering at it curiously as his head tilted. He didn't need to identify the offspring since there was an underlying connection between them. Alike his mate, he only felt them through emotions, and the offspring seemed delighted to know that he was nearby.His jawline snapped abruptly towards Oakley and the human tensed up again. Spike carefully stepped one limb over the infant and drew his head close. Oakley could swear that he could smell the alien being this close - pungent, tacky and bloody. The Xenomorph's face was inches away from his, lips furling once more. Then, the silver teeth came into sight and a secondary glint had Oakley staring inside the abyss of the black jaw.A set of smaller teeth extended out slowly just as a throaty hiss escaped the large, open jaw. Oakley knew the capabilities of this small appendage. He knew the consequences of being on the receiving end. He reflexively cowered when the inner jaw extended, its small but menacing mouth-like structure drawing close. It didn't touch him, however, but Oakley continued holding his breath as a single hand clenched tightly.Spike pulled away eventually, retracting its inner jaw and turning his attention to the offspring that made a muffled, indistinct noise. It lowered its head towards small bundle, and it gave a deep rumble in return. Long, black digits wrapped around the infant carefully, and nestled him against the Xenomorph's ridged chest. Oakley couldn't help but be impressed by how gentle such a large predator, feared for its brutal nature, could be. He watched in silence as the Xenomorph raised itself on its hind legs. It took large, heavy strides as he exited the medical bay, tail shaped with an arrow-tip disappearing around the corner.Oakley released the breath he had been holding since forever. His hand could finally move to wipe the sweat on his face before he took his comm out. He thumbed a certain button sequence, and a private channel of Alpha squad sprung up. A number indicative at the top of his comm stated that all members of the Alpha squad had accessed the channel."Starkson, the infant is with 022. I've got a the tracker on the kid, coded 4A5H. Can you find it?" While he could still use his own hand-held radar, the distance he could detect the beacon was limited, give or take thirty-feet. He'd still know the direction it was in, but Starkson could put the tracker's coordinates relative to the surrounding, and in this case, Espera base's map."Roger that. I'm tracking him...” There was a sound of laptop keys being typed on. “Got it. 022 and the infant are headed towards the west wing. By its odd location, it seems to be using the ceiling.""Update me its location when it stops. If has yet to bolt outta here, it may have gone to find Arius. Track the infant, and we'll find Arius" The commander paused. "Thanks guys. Know that what you're doing right now means a lot to me.""Ya saved ma ass countless of times, bud. 'Ts least I could do ya," Goldring replied through the channel. "'Sides, been pretty borin' round here. Could use a little fun." Oakley wasn't sure committing treason was something to be take so lightly as 'fun', but he was glad the members of Alpha were buddies enough to help him on such a dangerous task.Oakley had to chuckle. "And Lake?""I have my reasons,” a young voice replied.The commander shrugged to no one. "Let's commence phase 2. Lake, Boholst, meet me in the west wing. Ready the package."Two voice replied with 'roger'. The commander met his two squad members around the corner at a cross junction. One of the pathways led to the west wing medical bay. The Xenomorph had already taken the infant into said room, and it confirmed Oakley's suspicion of Arius being held inside. It didn't seem like they were about to make a move yet, thus they had to be quick to intercept before their departure. “I'll go in first, and comm you know if you can enter or run like hell,” Oakley said.Boholst gave a thumbs up while the younger of the two, Lake, nodded. Both of them, unlike him, wielded rifles. Oakley himself personally only held a handgun. However, he was going in there to help, not shoot down the Xenomorph. He could only pray to whatever gods that the Xenomorph wouldn't decide to turn hostile on him out of the blue.Oakley proceeded as planned. The moment he thumbed the button that had the medical bay door slide open, he was only graced a fraction of a second before his entire body was tackled to the floor. His face paled to see Spike in his personal space, much too close for his comfort. The Xenomorph had his jaw open and ready.“Arius, it's me!” He shouted as quickly and clearly despite his flurry of panic. Oakley barely dodged the inner jaw as it snapped right next to his ear dangerously. The appendage retracted, and Spike was readying a second strike-“Spike, stop,” the familiar voice sounded and Oakley breathed in relief as the Xenomorph's mouth closed. It didn't move, however, and turned its head to the side growling in dissatisfaction. Just peeking around the corner of the domed head, he saw his friend make an appearance with a bundle in his arms.Oakley's eyes widened at the sight of his friend. Chestnut brown hair disheveled, blood and fluids sticking to nearly any part of his body that was exposed. The hospital gown he was decked in was stained in questionable colors. They hadn't even changed the empath's clothing... and were those cuffs on the wrists? Fucking assholes. “Why are you here?”“To save you,” Oakley replied without hesitation.Arius tilted his head slightly, before his features contorted to dismay. “And why should I believe you? You're one of them,” he hissed out. Never in Oakley's life has he heard Arius' tone like this. It was almost surreal.“Not gonna toot my own horn, but the only reason why your baby's with you is because of me.”The empath fell silent as he clutched his child close to him. Oakley couldn't quite see the other's expression from where he was pinned under the Xenomorph. It seemed like decades before a cautious voice broke the deafening silence.“Can I trust you?”Oakley's heart lifted at question. “I would never lie to you,” he swore. "You, more than anyone else, can tell."Arius fell silent, and Oakley's heartbeat skipped, only to relax when the other finally replied: “No, you wouldn't.”Arius patted Spike on his shoulder and the Xenomorph, surprisingly, backed off without a qualm. Oakley kept his eyes on him regardless, pushing himself up to his feet.“I've... got some people to help. Is there a chance that... Spike does not kill them?” He used the Xenomorph's so-called name out of slight respect.Arius had a hand on the dome of the Xenomorph crouched right next to him. The long, dangerous tail had coiled around the human protectively, and a low rumbled escaped him. Arius chose to respond the commander with a mere nod.Oakley didn't exactly know if it was a good idea with such a vague answer, but they had to get down to business. He picked his comm up from his waist. “Clear,” he announced into it. No more than a minute later, the door to the medical bay opened. A lithe figure burst in, accompanied with a loud voice that made Spike growl out, upset. “Arius!” Lake called out the moment he entered the room. He wasn't even the least fazed by the presence of the Xenomorph, focused blatantly on human next to it. The boy still stood a significant distance between them, to be safe.“Jim?” Arius lit upon hearing a rather familiar voice.“Yeah! I'm here to help... but only if you choose to agree that penne's the best pasta to go with sauce,” the youngest soldier sneered. Arius couldn't help but let out a laugh.Behind Lake, a bigger, tougher looking guy stepped in. Green eyes were instantly on the alien.“Holy, he's a lot ugl-” Boholst received a glare from his commander and he swalllowed the word he had intended to say. “I mean, bigger, than I thought up close.”Oakley took the bag from his squad member and approached Arius. Hearing Spike hiss threateningly did make him internally flinch, but he stood right in front of the both of them.“This is a bag of military issue uniform. Change into it; it'll be a lot easier to sneak around base without drawing too much attention. The big guy has to find his own way out, though.”Arius seemed to 'stare' for a moment before reaching his hand out to the side. Spike instantly responded to the gesture, ignoring the humans as his attention for his mate held priority. Arius' hand guided the Xenomorphs head to his and they touched. Oakley would have thought it endearing, if not borderline unusual. A few seconds later, Spike let out a sound that was crossed between a hiss and a growl, and he snapped away from the human. With several steps and a single, strong bound, it was up in the ceiling and gone.“So, what did you get er... Spike to do? He seemed really enthusiastic about it,” Oakley asked softly as Arius took the bag from him.His chin lifted slightly when he heard the question. “Kill.”A cold shiver tingled down Oakley's spine. It was highly concerning that Arius' personality took such a huge turn. Perhaps in due time, he would revert back to the kindred spirit he used to know. Once all this was over. While Arius discarded the stained gown, Oakley's attention was on his comm that flashed a few times. He answered it.“Commander,” the comm at his waist hissed out. Said person replied and questioned what the matter was. “It seems like Executive Releksi, Executive Harper and the four WY representatives are still in Delgado's office. Do you want them extracted?”“I'll do it. Jim, Boholst, I'll leave you two to get Arius out.”One voice chirped with enthusiasm, while the other simply gruffed out: “Will do, sir!” When Oakley returned to the office, it was as Starkson had mentioned, but the scientist was missing.“Where's Delgado?” Oakley questioned as entered.“He said he had matters to attend to,” Releksi grunted out, clearly unhappy about being left behind. “What was the alarm for? Are we under attack?”There was something about the tone of the old man that had Oakley felt that his toes were being stepped on. Repeatedly.“XH-022 has been reported to be within the premises. We are evacuating the base of all non-military personnel before we hunt it down. I'll escort you out immediately.”“Be quick!” Harper barked, and Oakley was sure the woman was panicking under all that caking of make-up. The four men behind her, whose chests were pinned with a badge he had never seen before, were silent.Oakley was about to lead the way out when the a portion of the ceiling gave way, and everyone in the room gave a startled shout. The ebony figure landed without grace, announcing its arrival as a loud snarl filled the room. Oakley found himself faced with a familiar figure for the third time today.Why was Spike here? Though now the bigger question was: would Spike follow Arius' orders and genuinely kill?The soldier pulled his handgun out in reflex, staring at the large, dark skin that glinted in the dim lighting. Spike remained crouched, head and human-like teeth pointed in his direction. The long whip tail was swishing, daring him to make a move."Commander Henderson! Protect us at all costs!" Came the order behind him.Spike started to advance when Oakley made no movement. He drew dangerously close, and the latter could smell the same odd musk that came from the slime it secreted.But he couldn't pull the trigger. Not when he knew that this alien was a part of Arius' lifeline. He couldn't take away one more thing his friend seemed to love, as warped as the act was. Oakley held his breath and shut his eyes, waiting for any form of pain to descend upon him. He was expecting a sudden thrust from either the inner jaw or tail.To his genuine surprise, Spike had not reacted negatively to his presence, save the snarls. The Xenomorph drew its face close and Oakley could tell so as its vocals were more evident. The situation seemed oddly similar, and Oakley dare to open his eyes to stare back at the alien. Spike continued to growl, but did nothing more.Was it possible that Spike recognised him?“What are you doing?! Shoot it!” A woman's voice screeched in horror and it robbed the Xenomorph's attention.Oakley was startled when Spike let out a sudden, angered screech and shot past him, completely ignoring his presence now. Screams filled the air as he lowered his gun, teeth gritting as he tried to drown the sound of death out. Mustering the will, he slipped out of the room and shut the door behind him. His gaze lowered, staring at the wall opposite.He wasn't aware of the length of time he had stood there unmoving, even when the voices inside the room had subsided. It was only when a flashing light by his waist, indicating that his comm required attention, did he tear his gaze away. Hesitantly, he took the softly beeping device out and pushed the receiver. “Commander, Delgado comm-ed the security centre asking about the extraction status of the executives and WY representatives,” Starkson's voice sounded.Oakley returned his gaze to the wall, wondering why his conscience didn't eat at him. Then again, they probably didn't deserve his pity even after being ripped apart by the Xenomorph.“Tell him that XH-022 had got to them before I did.”Delgado's office was now likely to be painted in the same color as the room next door. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Oakley regrouped with them at some point, and they were making their way out. Arius had been carrying the infant in his arms as he struggled slightly to keep up, considering he had no prior training background. It was a slight joke to realise just how unfit he was. Regardless, the team was kind, waiting for him to catch up where necessary. He felt like a burden, and he was going to be the cost of the operation getting ruined. He just knew.Starkson stopped the team all of a sudden. He had been directing them through the halls to avoid other military personnel, and they've been quite successful thus far.“There's a bunch of non-military personnel running through the base. Gimme a sec while I identify them,” he said quickly, and various typing noises could be heard. “Shit, they're Weyland's. We won't have control over their actions because they're not under our operatives. I can't redirect them. You guys gotta get outta there, now. Take the south or east route as a detour.”Oakley let out a curse. He signaled something to the other two of his team, who nodded through the non-verbals orders. Arius was obviously clueless to what was going on, and was startled when Oakley grabbed his arm and headed presumably south, while the other two headed eastward.“Oak? What's going on?” Arius struggled to keep up with the man's strides. It was rather difficult when he had to keep one arm safely around his child.“Weyland-Yutani. They're the biggest global organisation who does cross-space expeditions. A few of the representatives were with Delgado earlier and Spike has killed them. They must've got wind of it.”Oakley peered past a corner, making sure that the coast was clear before crossing the junction. “At this point, all I can guess is that they're here for you three as well. I've just sent Lake and Boholst ahead of us to secure the vehicle. We're going around the Weyland creeps to the hangar and hopefully, we'll get you both outta here.”The brunette swallowed thickly. The Weyland-Yutani people seemed dangerous judging by how nervous Oakley was. It didn't settle his heart knowing that there were more people, and not just one mad scientist, after him. “Commander, they're coming up from your left. They've secured the east side; found Lake and Boholst, and they're are currently forced to stay put. They can't access the hangar.”“Fuck,” Oakley hissed out. “How many of them are there heading this way?”“You're looking at around ten to fifteen personnel... They're around the bend of you guys. Get out of there, now!”“It's impossible to run,” Arius uttered out. “They'll find us, and they'll take him away.” Oakley stood by his friend and grabbed him by the shoulders. “Look, I'll find a way to get you out of town, I promise. I'll do what I can.”“But you can't, not in this situation.”“Commander, what's the hold up?” Starkson sounded on the open comm. Oakley didn't respond to him just yet. “I'm saying this because you know, that I know, Spike and I may not make out of this alive. At best, either or both of us would be taken, and god knows what would happen next...”Arius paused, tilting his head. He gave a smile when he sensed a familiar presence lurking nearby. “Oak, I'm sorry, would you do one last favour for me? It'll be the biggest burden you'll ever have, but you're the only one I can trust.”“Arius, what the hell are you going on about? Now's not the time to get sentimental,” Oakley hissed out.Arius shrugged off the empty military backpack he had been carrying as he knelt on the ground. He brought the baby close to his face and he nuzzled him, softly cooing to him.“Sh.. You'll be safe. Be quiet, alright? Perhaps, I'll see you again... Someday.”“Arius...”“The backpack isn't the best carrier to use, but at this point, it's the best you've got to hide him,” the empath said out loud. He gently placed the infant inside, zipping it but leaving a decent gap. His head lifted, and a hand of his reached out. “Spike,” he called.Oakley nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard a sound that was caught between a hiss and a growl right by his ear. He took a startled step to the side just as a tall, black form brushed past him. Where in the world did the Xenomorph came from? A hunter at its finest; there wasn't a single hint of its presence until it was too late.Spike didn't spare Oakley any attention as he walked up to Arius. His long tail whipped slightly, nearly grazing Oakley's cheek as the soldier stepped back cautiously. Arius had stood up by then, a hand on the alien's cheek.“We'll hold their attention for as long as we can. In the meantime, please, get him out of here safely. I'm entrusting him to you, Oak. You're the only one I can,” Arius smiled. “If we don't see each other again, this will be the last goodbye.”“Arius wai-” Even before Oakley could say the name, Spike has let out a huge screech.It had been a perfect timing because a group of people rushed had just turned the corner. They assessed the situation quickly, tossing him a quick glance in question of his presence, but turning their attentions to the Xenomorph.Spike gave one irritaed hiss before taking Arius by the waist and leaping up into the ceiling. A man with a commanding tone starting barking orders, scattering half the people present, presumably to hunt down the two.Oakley kept his cool, analysing the people before him. The first person who approached him was clearly the in-charge, judging by the multi-rank badge on his shoulder. He gave a quick salute, raising his right hand near his forehead.“General Sture Rolandsson, Weyland-Yutani operative,” the stranger introduced themselves.“Commander Henderson of Espera Military,” he greeted. He hoped none of the people took heed to the bag at the side of the corridor.The male, just a few inches taller than him, returned a salute that was different to his, fist to the chest. It was probably their own manner of salute. “I trust you are aware of the situation at hand?”“Of course, sir. I was lucky that you arrived just in time to scare XH-022 and O'Klein away,” Oakley lied smoothly.Sture eyed him carefully, lips thinned. He took a quick glance to the floor that has a small puddle of slime, left in the wake of the Xenomorph.“You are, indeed. I don't suppose you know where they're headed?”Oakley shook his head. “Haven't a clue, sir.”“Very well,” General Rolandsson turned to his men and started speaking in a different language. Swedish, was it?After what seemed like forever, the Weyland operatives left the scene, allowing Oakley to retrieve the bag that held the baby. He'd prefer to take it out of the bag, but Arius was right, sneaking him around in the bad would be less conspicuous. He had to get the child to his mother, who would know how to take care of babies better than he could. “Spike... Would you trust me? Even if we died?” Arius randomly spoke as he followed the Xenomorph trekking on all fours ahead of him. They were half-crawling through a system in the ceiling, to which Arius was surprised by how spacious it was. Perhaps because the military has to be aware of the systems especially due to the nature of it being underground.Spike didn't respond, merely shifting his head to the side as if trying to understand the foreign words. He waited as Arius managed to shuffle to his side, and he caressed the slime-slicked cheeks.“If we get out of here, I want you to run. Whatever you do, don't come back. You're quicker than I am, so you'll be able to get away.”Spike's lips furled for a moment, hissing before turning away, walking off. It sounded like a refusal, but Arius couldn't tell for sure. For now, Spike seemed disinterested in what he had to say. He was about to follow when the floor under him gave way.Arius gave a loud, pained yelp when his collapsed on the floor, breath hitching where he laid on his shoulder that absorbed all the impact. No more than a few seconds later, a stampede of boots crunching on the cemented floor were right by him. There were about three of them.Arius let out a grunt when he was forced on his knees, arms tugged and forced against his lower back.“You're quite a handful, O'Klein. I very do much regret using your 'assistance' from the start,” Delgado's voice sounded behind him. “How-” Arius had to bite as the soreness from his shoulder started to spread.Delgado knelt beside the other, waving a device in his hand. “Heat signature, one that 022 lacks, but you have. So, where's the Otromorph?”A cheshire smile graced his face. “You'll never find him, Delgado. I won't let you.”“022 has it, doesn't it?” The scientist growled out, before throwing a look over his shoulder. “Track it! Find Otromorph at all costs!” He grabbed Arius by hair, forcing the brunette's head back to an agonising angle. “I should have you killed right now for causing this much trouble. Fortunately, you're worth a more to me alive than dead.”Arius was about to give a snarky remark when a screech stole his attention. He could barely turn around where Spike descended from the ceiling a short distance away, barbed tail raised high. He growled at the humans in anger, the pearly whites flashing dangerously.“Spike, no! Why'd you-mmph!” A hand clasped over his mouth just as guns' safeties were clicked off.“Cease, you monster!” Delgado yelled as he pulled Arius against him. The latter's breath hitched as a sharp object was placed against his throat. A blade, most likely. Instantly, Spike responded in kind, opening his jaw and letting out an angry hiss. Even his inner tongue had extended threateningly, biting the air. But other than this, he made no other moves.“Smart little fella, isn't it? Looks like your little pet sees you more important than the offspring after all,” Delgado drawled in an amused tone by his ear. It was disgusting.Arius tried to struggle free, but to no avail. He was mentally screaming for Spike to run, run far away and not to come back. “My patience wears thin, O'Klein. For the last time, where is the Otromorph, O'Klein?” Delgado snarled out, pressing the blade deeper into his skin. It was the straw that broke the camel's back, and Spike lunged for the group. Triggers were being pulled and Arius shrieked uselessly through the loudness of gunfire, through Spike's own pained cries as bullets were being driven into his body endlessly at such close range.Green blood splattered when the Xenomorph's body hit the ground. Acid started to sizzle and burn the flooring and walls. A soft, useless moan escaped him as Arius finally broke free of Delgado's grasp. He rushed forward, clearing the distance between them and settling by the fallen body. “No, no Spike, why...” His chest swelled with anguish when all he could feel from Spike was agony. He could tell that much by the holes drilled into various parts of the alien's body. The copious amount of green, acidic blood oozing from every bullet pore had already burnt away parts of the military clothing he wore. He held the large carapace against his chest as his own breath hitched through his crying, tears seeping through his closed lids uselessly. Arius could only hug him close as he remained un-moving.Anger. “I hope you reconsider your position, O'Klein. You've already cost us one precious specimen.” Delgado's voice sounded like venom, making his ears bleed with every word. Fury.Delgado had walked up to his side, grasping his shoulder in warning. “I'm giving you one more chance; bring the Otromorph to me, and I'll consider a peaceful lifestyle for your future to come.” Kill. Arius felt his fingers twitch as he rose to his feet. The was an urge, a need to make something... someone bleed. Revenge. He snapped.Arius himself couldn't see it coming. His limbs felt possessed as they moved on their own accord. He abandoned what's left of Spike and threw himself at Delgado with a hysterical screech, inhuman and defeaning. He pounced on the scientist, catching him off guard and plundered him to the ground. He grappled and buried nails into skin. The other man was shouting, trying to throw off the smaller male. “Get him off!” Delgado was yelling. The soldiers were frantic, proceeding with they were ordered to. But Arius had been relentless, inflicting massive damage within seconds. Blood was staining the underside of his nails, but he didn't care. When he felt hands trying to grab him, he sank the nails of both hands around Delgado's neck, forcing the wind out of him. Nothing else mattered to him besides killing Delgado. It hadn't mattered if the soldiers were considering shooting him there and then, their hesitance probably because they needed him alive. They hesitated, but he wasn't going to. He'll do what it takes to ensure that his child, his only hope, would survive.He'd do whatever it takes-Bang. A gunfire.A sharp gasp, and a violent twitch.Arius froze as his mind registered a sharp pain from his ribs. Releasing a shaky hand, he reached to his side, the sensation of warm moisture trickling between his digits. He had never gotten shot before; was it supposed to feel this numbing, instead of pain?He could feel his breathing turn uneven, choking when he found himself unable to breathe properly. Liquid rapidly invaded his lungs and he coughed in attempt to get them working right. Delgado was left howling in pain as splattered acid started to burn the side of his face, right where the cheek bone was. He knew better than to touch it with his bare hands, and he shoved the figure going into shock away from him.Arius collapsed on his side, barely able to focus his pseudo-vision at the figures before him. There were other people, but he couldn't tell who they were. Everything started to turn black, just like the ebony of his Xenomorph's skin... “Sture Rolandsson”, Delgado wheezed out as the Weyland medical team worked on him. They applied an alkaline cream to cease the acidic burns, but there was a high chance of a permanent scarring; a reminder of what had happened on that day.“I rushed down as soon as one of the representatives contacted me about the potential infiltration of XH-022. It seems like I was too late in securing the specimen.”“You fool! You killed O'Klein; he was just as important! He was the one who birthed the Otromorph!” The scientist was yelling in anger, pointing at the deceased brunette next to him. “Now, we've lost all chance of retrieving the Otromorph because of you!”Sture remained calm, unbothered by the accusation. He knelt beside Arius' body, brushing away the hair to reveal the face of the man he had just shot. True enough, it was Arius O'Klein, and in his desperation to save another important figure, he had just killed the second specimen.Such a shame.“My intel has informed me that the Otromorph is with Henderson. He intends to take it back to his home.” “Well, what are you waiting for, then? Get it back!” “Let Henderson keep it,” Sture interrupted. “He can do his part by bringing up the Otromorph. Perhaps teach it in ways we, who have such objective aims, cannot. We have other matters which we can attend to, first, before bringing the Otromorph onto the picture.”“You're asking me to leave one of the most important, potential asset of our research in the hands of an incompetent, treasoning soldier,” Delgado growled out. For Sture, it was a comical sight to see a man whose face was half-mummified try to seem intimidating. “Our potential collaboration chance is still open for discussion, Delgado. Of all scientists out there, you have been renowned to be the most knowlegeable, and successful in capturing, the Xenomorph species. We have a new base set up in Canton space, LV-808. There is a thriving hive there, and we are in midst of securing it. We have... a unique research going on there, and we would very much welcome you to join us.”“What is it about,” Delgado gruffed out as he stood on his feet. He was still clearly upset and disappointed with the entire ordeal of having to let the Otromorph go.Sture smiled, glad that the scientist was interested. He held a hand out, and his secretary next to him immediately placed a tablet in it. “You have the expertise on the Xenomorphs; Weyland has the man power on... resources. If we wish to progress in a desirable direction, don't you believe we've been prioritising some things wrongly?” He let the question linger as he navigated through files and data. When he found the right one, he showed it to Delgado. Delgado eyed the tablet that was showing an array of photos and data. The heading read 'Project Janus'.“So, don't you think it's about time we created our own species?”The scientist paused at the general's question. He pondered for a moment as he digested the words.“What exactly are you trying to get at?”“We've been so bent on trying to capture the Xenomorph species that we're forgetting evolution and its place. With what you've gathered thus far, I'm sure that your research would be highly useful in a collaboration.”“Hm...” Deglado's eyes wandered, stopping at the sight of Sture's men dealing with the two corpses. They were delicately handled. It was an upsetting sight to see two wonderful specimens gone, and the last living one untouchable for years to come. There was only so much he'd be able to before he landed with something interesting enough.“Fine. When do we leave?” Sorry, I couldn't add this part into the end notes due to the space constraint. Hope fun facts (they're quite jumbled timeline-wise, sorry):Arius' blindness is due to neonatal RetinoblastomaArius' 'messages' to Spike are interpreted better with physical contact. Whilst not understanding word-for-word, Spike reads gestures and emotions, and more specifically intention. For example, when Arius was in the neighbouring room and told Spike to leave him, he was calm. This made Spike settle. On the other end of the spectrum, when Arius told him to 'kill', what Spikes receive is anger and hatred that drives him to in turn become aggressive. Spike's actions are in complete response to Arius', and he acts accordingly. When Arius ordered Spike to find the Otro, he was in the state of 'yearning', to which Spike could easily translate a need for retrieval.Vocally, Spike does not understand words either; he recognises them as sounds. Like think about it: your name is just a sound, too, and you are conditioned to respond to it due to repetitive exposure. In a manner, another reason to why Spike may not have killed Oakley is because of the human's acknowledgement to his being as a figure that Arius sees him (ie. not an enemy)Spike and the Otromorph are also mentally connected, but not as much due to his mixed blood. It's actually less than the same level as between Arius and himself. The closer they are physically, the more 'connected' they would be. At this infant age, the Otro also seeks its birth parent more, and you'll probably find it a funny tidbit that he actually doesn't recognise Spike as a parent, but a drone.The meeting between Spike and Oakley was inspired by Alien 2; the Queen was intelligent enough to see what Ripley was going to do that could threaten her brood. I don't see why Spike wouldn't be smart enough to see Oakley in the same light, and potentially spare him in exchange. Of course, we can return to the 'name' fun fact.Spike always takes Arius' orders as priority. As what Arius said in the med bay in reply to Oakley, 'kill' was actually specifically an order directed at Delgado. Hence, his coincidental appearance in Delgado's office. On this note, Spike by then does not see Oakley as a threat, and this was obviously affirmed by the soldier not shooting the alien despite being at point blank range. On another scale, Spike would definitely have not hesitated killing Oakley if he pulled the trigger or acted in any manner that seemed threatening. Luckily our soldier boy survived, huh? :> Oakley's affection for Arius is completely friendship-platonic. Arius too, treasures him as a friend and nothing more. Arius does not love Spike per say, but grew to have a dependency on the alienBackground story of Arius: He wasn't heavily bullied, but was definitely ostracized for being able to read others easily. He'd get into trouble because he would tell adults [whoever] was lying etc. As he grew, he knew when to use his gift for more appropriate situations. His other job that he would've taken up was a childcare teacher, but his visual disability disallowed him to.I feel kinda bad randomly introducing the Alpha squad. perhaps I should've made their appearance a little early. So far, only Jim Lake (who was Arius' 2nd escort) had made a prior appearance. Jim prefers penne but Arius likes linguine. expect more of them, of courseIf you'd like to know in detail how the Scout's unique reproduction work, here: After mating, the insemination extracts DNA from the host via cell bodies. It takes a while for the host's body not to reject the cells as a foreign body (like blood transfusion), and once stabilised a pseudo-womb is formed. Depending on the species of the host, it may range between hours to months, depending on the complexity of the DNA reflex (Face-huggers implant an egg which is already stabilised).Because Arius is human, to which Xenomorphs have 'evolved' from (Source: Aliens Covenant), the gestation is relatively short ~24 hours. For a healthy alien queen, it can be as short as 9 hours because a DNA reflex is not required. Gestation also causes a reverse-DNA reflex where the host also takes in Xenomorph DNA in order to accommodate the foreign body, and sometimes may adapt lesser traits of the Xenomorph species. Again, because Arius is human, he gains these traits quite rapidly and evidentlyfun fact: he would not actually transform into a queen; sorry to disappoint! That said, he can still be constantly impregnated by Spike. In fact, he would be used a breeder instead of a host. It would still put him as one of the higher ranks in a nest, though. If everything is optimum, Arius would probably be able to conceive once or twice a month.For obvious safety reasons, the placental fluids are highly alkaline that counters the potential acidity of the infant's blood. It is possibly one of the few materials that would not succumb to the acidity of the Xenomorph blood. On this note, it is relatively similar to the slime the Xenomorphs produce, hypothesized to be a defense mechanism against their own blood. The entire placental sac is being delivered out.I still can't quite fully explain the physiology behind Arius' 'sight'. Researching about, there are two speculations to how Xenomorphs see: one, they actually do have eyes, but it is hidden by the dome. A strong support to this statement is the presence of prominent eye sockets when you see figurines with a translucent dome. But that said, there is no evidence of eyeballs, and the only creature that has been proven to actually have them is the Newborn in Resurrection. The second speculation to how a Xenomorph can see is using echolocation like bats and dolphins. However, it might be a variation of it. I an quite favourable to the idea of a distorted echolocation skill, considering Xenos are relatively vocal, constantly hissing or growling. At this point, I've adapted Covenant's manner of expressing the Xenomorph's vision in my story. Another factor which made me prefer supporting the idea that Xenos can see is a little widget of a VR I got to mess around with during an official Covenant booth. For the viewer, it was pretty obvious to what you're looking at, but they're sort of still fuzzy and unfocused. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Lina has always been a lady who was prepared. Like her mother, she was acceptant of the fate that the men in her household was bleak. There was an unsettling trend of them serving the military, one form or another, but regardless they would be subjected to the dangers of the unknown.Her father had been lucky to serve his years til the end. It was his stories that drove young Oakley to follow the very footsteps. Lina's husband; Oakley's father, had not been so lucky, but it was not something brought up after a letter and folded flag was placed on the counter above the fireplace.Undoubtedly, Lina was proud of them. Sad, but proud. 'To die serving our country is the best feeling as the light fades', was what her great grandparent had apparently passed down. It seemed to be a family motto, and Oakley adopted it as well. Nothing changed; nothing will.Not until the day her son had return home with a small bundle in his arms. They way he held it was much too familiar, and she was by his side in a heartbreak. He let her take the tiny body of a baby.The moment his mother threw him a questioning (and accusing) glance, he cut in."He's not mine." The firm voice made her believe it instantly. "It's... complicated. Do you remember who Arius was? The blind kid from my university days?"Lina felt her heart sink even though she knew nothing else. She remembered Arius, though the same could no be said for his last name. He was a chestnut brunette whose eyes never opened, but the same cannot be said for his heart. Despite his disability, his compassion never wavered."How could I ever forget the sweet boy who brought me flowers when he came over," Lina sighed out.Oakley visibly swallowed, as if it would clear the tension that swelled in his throat."This child belongs to him. The other parent is also... gone."Lina held the orphan close to her body, peering down at his sleeping face. As a nurse in her early days, she has helped with the delivery of many, many children. The baby she held was small, but not in any way unusual. Some milk and he'll be well."One more thing," Oakley started in a mildly quieter tone. Lina recognised it as one used for sensitive information and drew closer to her son."This is a warning I need you to listen and understand carefully. He's not human. On the outlook he is, but we cannot tell how he'd turn out to be. So, if there comes a day he starts to be less human, you know what you have to do."Lina tightened her jaw, gaze fixed on the young child who currently wasn't even fit to hurt a fly. Not yet, anyway, if Oakley had made his existence sound potentially dangerous."I'll do what I can. A child's upbringing shapes them. Perhaps he will grow up to think otherwise."Through some connections and under-handed means, Hope became part of the Henderson family. He has a grandma, Lina Auguste Henderson, and a father, Oakley Henderson. Lina took care of him mostly, and hired him private tutors to avoid the public eye as much as possible. He grew up fine regardless, like any normal child would.When he was around six, Lina noticed that his coccygeal bone was lengthening. His spinous processes were also jutting out more prominently, which forced the boy to sleep on his sides or tummy. She got him the softest bed she could find in the market. But besides his deviation in physical looks, he was functioning perfectly like any other children in cognition. Hope Henderson was a chestnut brunette, a near replica of his true parent, and his eyes glinted with an unusual ashen blue.Curious, playful, and a little nosy perhaps, but good and generally well-behaved. He hardly created a fuss, never turned violent or broke things, never complained. The only bizarre thing that Lina found was that Hope would stare into space for an unusually long period of time. When questioned, Hope would simply reply that he could hear 'something'.Oakley said that Hope may have a remnants of Arius' empathic abilities. But hearing the underlying concern in her son's voice, Lina knew that there was more to it. To what it may be, she did not know, nor would she ask as some things were better left unknown.The Commander of Espera Military Base loved Hope as a father would. When he came back on the weekends, he'd shower Hope with all the attention he could give - take him out for meals, play catch, or any other activities within limits. He had even taught Hope a few defensive maneuvers to protect himself when he was older.Lina's only fear was that the family trend pursued even without blood ties. To her relief, Hope happily declared that he wanted to build 'electronic stuff', as the physics and mechanisms of such had him entertained. She should have guessed it, considering he enjoyed dismantling toys and re-assembling them back together.Everything seemed perfect then.Until one day, Oakley didn't come home.
10438449	The Longest Story Ever	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "F/F", "Characters": "Mac (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia), Dennis Reynolds, Dee Reynolds, Charlie Kelly, Luther McDonald, The Gang (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia)", "Fandom": "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by VICTORKISSEDYURRI", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-25T00:00:00", "words": "1,406", "Additional Tags": "Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Genderbending, little bit of mac/charlie, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, denise reynolds, veronica mcdonald, Internalized Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Angst, mac fam feels, The Gang feels, Lesbians Everywhere", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Mac/Dennis Reynolds, Mac & Dennis Reynolds, Charlie Kelly & Mac, Charlie Kelly/Dee Reynolds", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	The first movie Veronica ever saw was Karate Kid and it was something fucking else. A little kid who got pushed down and hurt finally, finally, kicking his asshat bully in the chin? Yes-fucking-please. But Veronica doesn’t think she could reach her father’s chin to kick it, but that wasn’t the whole point, was it? No, the Karate Kid himself didn’t do it for the asspounding, he did it for respect. Veronica could do that too. Veronica could leap and pounce, flail her arms about and make all the bad people bleed and that would make her father respect her – no, it would make him love her; not that he doesn’t love her, Veronica thinks, of course her dad loves her but he’d never been good with words, that was it, that’s where the problem lied. Maybe if Veronica learned how to stand like a Crane she could teach her father that maybe, maybe, he could show her love in a different way, maybe in a way that didn’t hurt. Not that Veronica cared, because hugging was for pussies and faggots.So, Veronica cuts the sleeves off all her t-shirts, cuts her hair with a pair of her father’s scissors, the pair that have the dark stain on it, the stain she wouldn’t ever dare ask about, and slicks her hair back with gasoline she found in the garage because her father could make a man cry with his sleeveless shirt and slicked back hair and Veronica wanted to make someone cry. Because crying was for pussies and faggots and the people that made people cry were never pussies or faggots.“You look like a fucking dyke,” her mother had grunted, eyes sunken like the devil, mouth turned like an upside-down crucifix. Veronica wonders if God could forgive her for being afraid of her own mother.She wonders if God could forgive her for a lot of things.“You smell like a car,” a girl tells Veronica when she’s ten; she’s small and dirty but not in a porn-like way, more in a covered-in-dirt-like way, a wet-animal-like way and it would have made Veronica sick if the way her stomach flipped when the girl smiled didn’t make her sicker, “I like cars.”Veronica snorts and says: “everyone likes cars”, even though she doesn’t, but her dad likes cars and that seems reason enough to like them too. (if she’s being honest, she hates cars because cars in the driveway just mean someone is leaving and it’s the longest story Veronica has ever heard and it always starts with a car and a missing place at the dinner table)“Wanna go throw rocks at some trains?” The girl asks. Charlie, she says, her names Charlie.It’s Christmas and Veronica has nowhere else to go so she says yes. They’re ten and it’s the first Christmas that doesn’t feel lonely. It’s the start of the other longest story Veronica’s ever heard; two sad little girls pretending they’re not sad because hey, huffing glue takes up a lot of thinking time and letting childhood traumas fester can distract anyone long enough to allow them to lie to themselves, and they do and it works (and suddenly they’re forty and they’re still just two sad little girls pretending they’re not sad and it works all the same, for the most part).Suddenly Veronica is Ronnie the Rat trying to convince the cool kids to call her Mac and Denise Reynolds is beautiful and horrible and Mac isn’t sure if she’s falling in love or slowly realising how much she fucking hates Denise Goddamn fucking Reynolds. It all feels the same, her parents had never taught her there was another way for love to feel.Mac knows she’s fucked for the long-term when, drunk and high, Denise hugs her – fuck you, it was a good hug, if there is such a thing as a hug so good it doesn’t wish it were a kiss. But Denise kisses her too. And Mac cries. And suddenly Mac is a pussy and a faggot and Denise goes to college and leaves Mac behind and it hurts even though it’s not in the least bit fucking surprising. Charlie laughs at her, and she punches Charlie in the mouth but it doesn’t make her feel better; punching people never really made her feel better, she doesn’t know why her father did it so often.She’s twenty and smoking cheap weed in Charlie’s mum’s basement when Denise and Dee show up. Denise takes her out for dinner in some fancy restaurant, pays for her when she was ready to dine-and-dash, walks her home and insults her, calls her white-trash and wonders, loudly, how her “cigarette for a mother isn’t long dead by now”, Mac doesn’t remember who threw the first punch but they end up bleeding and laughing and Mac had been waiting for this, had been wanting this, had been crying in confessionals at church for this. Denise almost kisses her but turns her face away at the last second, Mac punches her again just to have said she did and they do it all again the next month, and the next month, and the next month until twenty-years of next months’ have passed and they do it again.Suddenly they own a bar and leaving Philly is a Goddamn experience every time they try and Dee is back-brace free and Charlie is still huffing glue and Denise is diagnosed and Mac loves her and they’re all just sad little girls pretending they aren’t sad and doing a fucking piss-poor job at hiding it.It’s the longest story ever told; four sad little girls burn the world down just because they can and they’re bored and someone somewhere said they couldn’t so they did and they’re all that’s left in the morning after the fire.But it's the morning and that's enough.Mac wonders if Charlie and Dee know everyone knows they're fucking and she wonders if Denise knows she knows Denise knows she wants to fuck her and she wonders why God cares so much about who she wants to fuck but doesn't ask because she's scared. Mac knows when to keep her mouth shut, knows that a girl who likes girls is a dead girl if they talk about it so she doesn't talk about it. Until she talks about it. And it's out. And she's out and she says it grinning but goes home crying. But it doesn't last forever. The next day Mac is poor again but Dee cooks up breakfast and Denise hands Mac a USB full of lesbian porn and Charlie meets her at the door of the bar with a book about gay chicks in history because "you need to learn about your ancestors, man!" and Mac realises that it wasn't the money that helped her sleep.Sometimes Mac isn't sure what she feels for her mother, knows it's love but isn't sure what love is when it comes to their family but when she tells her mother she is in love and her mother says "tell the girl she better watch out for your stupidity" it is the closest thing to an apology Mac is sure she will ever get and when she gets a letter in the mail from her father saying "what's her name?" Mac ignores the rest of it that talks about drugs and butts and knows it is the closest thing to an I love you she will ever get.The Gang sit in Dee's apartment, piled together with a mess of blankets and pillows, limbs everywhere and popcorn flying because Tuesday movie night has turned into World War III. Charlie throws an arm around Mac's shoulders, letting Dee fall into her lap. Charlie sends Mac a large grin, nodding down at the blonde in her lap with sparkling eyes. Dee flails her unusually long body, eventually her hand settles on Mac's knee, her fingers play a rhythm against her skin and Mac could listen to it all day if it were just the sound of Charlie and Dee breathing beside each other, Denise muttering softly in her ear. Denise curls against Mac's side. There isn't too much to say.They scam and they cheat, both others and each other, but Mac thinks being a pussy and a faggot is an okay thing to be, if it means she could stay like this forever.
10473597	Attempts At Angst	{ "Archive Warning": null, "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Prince - Character, Roman Sanders (Prince), Anxiety - Character, Anxiety Sanders, Logic - Character, Logan Sanders (Logic), Morality - Character, Morality Sanders", "Fandom": null, "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by thatmountainhermit", "chapters": "3/3", "completed": "2017-03-29", "published": "2017-03-27T00:00:00", "words": "872", "Additional Tags": "Angst, prompts, Drabbles, break-up, Will add tags as I go, Death", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Prinxiety, Prince/Anxiety", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "Video Blogging RPF, Thomas Sanders", "Archive Warnings": "Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply", "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	“We need to talk.” It had started like that. Simple. Roman didn’t feel uneasy, or worried. He was fairly confident in their relationship, which had been going steady for a while now. They fought sometimes, sure, but they usually managed to compromise. To make it work. Because they loved each other.“Of course, my love! What is it that you wish to talk about?” Roman’s smile was sweet, and soft, as it always was when he was alone with Anxiety. And sometimes when they weren’t alone, either. It was just so easy to feel safe around the beautiful being that was his love. Anxiety took a deep breath, and Roman frowned a little. He would be lying if he said that Anxiety had been acting… strangely, as of late. But that was just Anxiety. He had his ups and downs, and Roman knew that sometimes his lover needed his space. Then he said those two words. “We’re over.” Just like that. Roman was pretty sure the shattering that he could hear was his heart. Roman stared at his now, apparently, ex-boyfriend. “What do you mean, we’re over? Anx- I love you!” His voice was so soft, so slight. He felt like he could barely breathe, for fear of his lungs being lanced by the shards of glass that used to be his heart. “I know, Prince.” The name stung. Anxiety rarely called him by his character name these days. There was no light in those usually bright eyes that Roman adored so much. “But I don’t love you. I never did.”It was like every nightmare, every fear that Roman had ever had, decided to come true. His eyes filled with tears, staring up at the other persona. All Anxiety did was shake his head, and walk away. And Roman watched him. Powerless to stop the love of his life from leaving. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “No no no, you stupid chivalrous asshole, you promised me!” Anxiety gasped when he saw Prince lying on the bed. Morality sat next to him, a pitying look sent to Anxiety as he stood up. “I'm sorry, we did everything that we could, but he’d lost too much blood, Anx…” He stepped to the side when Anxiety came at him. But instead of exploding on Morality, he collapsed next to the bed, taking Roman’s cold hand and pressing it to his cheek. “You idiot.” He whispered. “I told you, didn't I? I told you that you’d get yourself killed and now here we are and I could kill you myself, Roman, you fucking promised me…” He thought breathing was hard during his panic attacks, but they were nothing compared to this. “Anxiety…” He heard Logan faintly, barely felt the hand on his shoulder. He knew he was crying, but the feeling of tears tracking down his face was like being in a dream. It was vague, clouded.“You told me forever,” he muttered, his voice cracking. “You promised me forever. What kind of forever is this, sir Sing-A-Lot?” His laugh sounded more like a wet, choking sob. He could feel the others’ worried stares, but he couldn't bring himself to care. “You can't just leave me, Roman. You didn't even say goodbye...” His voice was barely a whisper. His heart felt like it had been torn open. He felt raw, exposed. And completely alone without Roman.In that moment, he wanted nothing more than to join his prince ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Morality had no idea how long he’d been sitting there, thinking. Trying not to cry. Failing miserably. Then again, that was him, wasn't it? A complete failure. Morality couldn't help feeling that it was true.He knew that he had no right to feel that way. He was meant to be happy with seeing another dog.or having a cookie, and he had the others, right? Anxiety and Princey and Logic. He wondered, not for the first time, how accurate that was.Would they even care if he went missing? If he disappeared? Morality doubted it. He wasn't that important, and he was a nuisance anyway. He always interrupted them. He was rarely serious. Even when he was, they all ignored his ideas anyway, because they were so dumb.It wasn't like they were subtle about how much they disliked him. Especially Logic.He just wanted a friend. Someone to talk to, to watch movies and make dumb jokes with. It wasn't too much to ask, was it? Just a friend. Not even that. Just someone who would talk to him.Morality sighed as he stared at his reflection, rubbing at the bags under his eyes. The sleepless night had been stacking up, and they were finally beginning to take a toll on him. No one had come to get him, even though he knew there was a meeting. They were probably relieved that he hadn't showed up yet. He knew he had to go soon. He dried his face, tried to cool his face to get rid of the red splotches that always came from crying. After taking a deep breath, he put a smile on his face. “Come on, sport, no use bothering them with your problems.” He muttered to himself. They didn't need to concern themselves with him, anyway.
10448097	Lekcja pokory	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": null, "Fandom": "Supernatural", "Language": "Polski", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by Immundus", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-26T00:00:00", "words": "1,933", "Additional Tags": "PWP, Top!Castiel, bot!Dean, Nauka, lekcja, czy Dean sie czegoś nauczy?, ściana, krawat", "Relationship": "Destiel", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	- Dean - zaczął Castiel lodowatym tonem. - Czy ty próbujesz wyprowadzić mnie z równowagi? - Ależ skąd! - teatralnie obruszył się Dean. - Jak w ogóle możesz tak myśleć? Kąciki jego ust uniosły się, a oczy rozbłysły. Bo tak, Dean Winchester ubóstwiał drażnić swojego anioła. Uwielbiał, gdy Castiel stawał się władczy i stanowczy, oczy zasnuwała mu mgiełka wściekłości, a jego głęboki, niższy o parę oktaw głos przyprawiał łowce o dreszcze. Zwykle nie grał mu na nerwach, gdyż rozczulała go opiekuńczość i troskliwość anioła. W końcu takiego właśnie go pokochał. Niezmienny jednak pozostawał fakt, że Winchestera niesłychanie kręciło apodyktyczne oblicze Castiela, więc od czasu do czasu, mimo usilnych starań, ponosił klęskę w starciu ze swoimi pragnieniami i pozwalał sobie na zabawę. - Dean… - powtórzył anioł ostrzegawczo, a Winchester na dźwięk własnego imienia poczuł przyjemne mrowienie w podbrzuszu. - Natychmiast przestań. - Nie rozumiem o co Ci chodzi. - udawał niewinnego. - Pomyślałem po prostu… - Wystarczy! - warknął Castiel i w sekundę znalazł się przy łowcy. - Co ty sobie wyobrażasz? Dean poczuł, że brakuje mu tchu. Mimowolnie przysunął się bliżej i zaczął badać wzrokiem każdy milimetr twarzy Casa. Ostry zarys szczęki, dwudniowy, lekko kłujący zarost, zgrabny nos, pełne usta, które wręcz wołają o pieszczoty i tęczówki, teraz niemal granatowe z iskierkami gniewu, przypominające rozgwieżdżone niebo nocą. Wszystkie szczegóły znał tak dobrze, a jednak odkrywanie ich na nowo nie było wcale nużące. Wręcz przeciwnie, fascynowało go, gdy dopatrzył się czegoś, co - z niewiadomych powodów, wcześniej pominął. Castiel wypuścił powietrze, którego podmuch rozbił się na wargach Deana, ogrzewając je. Do uszu anioła dotarło ciche, błagalne wręcz sapnięcie, a wraz z nim świadomość, że Winchester ledwo nad sobą panuje. Anioł postanowił dać mu nauczkę. Nachylił się, i uważając, aby dokładnie zaakcentować każde słowo, wysyczał: - Nie. Jestem. Twoją. Zabawką. Gdy do łowcy dotarł sens zdania, momentalnie poczuł, że traci nad sobą kontrolę. Przylgnął do anioła, przez którego twarz przebiegł cień triumfu i bezpardonowo wpił się w jego usta. Castiel ochoczo rozchylił wargi, gdy zarejestrował na nich dotyk wilgotnego języka. Natychmiast został za to nagrodzony cichym jękiem. Jedną rękę przeniósł na włosy Winchestera, co jakiś czas z wyczuciem za nie szarpiąc, tym samym doprowadzając łowcę do szaleństwa. Drugą natomiast rozpoczął wędrówkę wzdłuż umięśnionego ciała Deana. Winchester miał wrażenie, że zaraz rozsadzi mu rozporek. Pulsująca erekcja zdążyła już narobić niemałego bałaganu w jego bokserkach, a Castiel przecież nawet go jeszcze porządnie nie dotknął. Anioł szarpnął go mocniej za włosy, zmuszając do odchylenia głowy i przycisnął nabrzmiałe od pocałunków wargi do jego szyi. Łowca gwałtownie zaczerpnął powietrza, zacisnął ręce na kołnierzu płaszcza i poddał się dotykowi, pojękując cicho. Castiel musnął językiem jego ucho, skubnął je lekko i zjechał niżej, na szczękę, również tam zostawiając ślady swojej obecności w postaci czerwonych plamek. Po chwili wrócił do ust i zaczął składać na nich pocałunki, które Dean odwzajemniał z taką samą pasją. Anioł szarpnął za koszulkę łowcy, dając mu do zrozumienia, aby się jej pozbył. Winchester niechętnie odsunął się od Casa, przeciągnął materiał przez głowę i odrzucił go w głąb pokoju. Obaj zarumienieni, rozczochrani, oddychając ciężko, patrzyli na siebie wygłodniałym wzrokiem. Anioł nie był w nastroju na delikatność czy czułość. Pchnął łowcę na najbliższą ścianę i pozwolił, aby prochowiec zsunął się na podłogę. Obserwując reakcje Deana, powoli rozpinał guziki koszuli, dopóki nie podzieliła losu płaszcza. Jak zwykle zostawił krawat. Grzeczny aniołek. - uśmiechnął się w duchu łowca. Castiel miał jednak inny pomysł. Ku rozczarowaniu Winchestera, zdjął krawat i przytrzymał go w ręce. Dean nie miał czasu na dogłębną analizę, gdyż ciepła klatka piersiowa anioła na jego własnej, tak bardzo kontrastująca z chłodną ścianą, na moment odebrała mu zdolność myślenia. Cas wykorzystał nieuwagę łowcy, dodatkowo wzmagając ją pocałunkami, złączył jego nadgarstki i ciasno oplótł je krawatem, tworząc supeł. Dean oderwał się od anioła, gdy odkrył, że ruchy jego rąk są ograniczone. - Cas? Co to jest? - zapytał zdziwiony. - Twoja lekcja - odparł krótko Castiel. Łowca na dźwięk zachrypniętego głosu wciągnął gwałtownie powietrze i zdusił w sobie chęć, aby zacząć ocierać się o Casa. Spróbował się uwolnić, ale nie był w stanie nawet poluzować uwięzi. Przeniósł wzrok na anioła i odebrało mu mowę. Ten gnojek użył mocy. - krzyknęło coś w jego umyśle. Castiel bez słowa, jedynie z lekkim uśmiechem obserwował wewnętrzną walkę Deana. Delektował się emocjami wypisanymi na twarzy Winchestera - zdumienie, szok, odrobina uznania, a nawet niepokój. Wszystkie falami przebiegały przez jego oblicze, by na końcu zlać się w jedno - obezwładniające podniecenie. Anioł właśnie na to czekał, szarpnął za krawat i ułożył ręce Deana nad jego głową, przyciskając je dłonią do ściany, a kolano umiejscowił między jego nogami tak, aby udo dotykało erekcji Winchestera. Ta niespodziewana reakcja wydarła z gardła łowcy zduszony okrzyk. Castiel warknął i zaczął scałowywać każdy cal jego twarzy, wolną ręką ugniatając pośladek, wsłuchując się jednocześnie w symfonię dźwięków, wydawanych przez łowcę. Dean panicznie pragnął dotyku, w miejscu, do którego odpłynęła cała jego krew, ale gdy tylko chciał mocniej przycisnąć się do uda Castiela, ten odsuwał się, czym doprowadzał Deana na skraj obłędu. Winchester miał już na końcu języka kilka niemiłych słów skierowanych pod adresem anioła, ale poczuł, że coś śliskiego okrąża jego sutek i z jego ust zamiast obelg wydobył się jęk tak niemęski, że łowca nie przyznałby się do niego nawet pod wpływem tortur. Castiel zacisnął zęby, a biodra Deana drgnęły spazmatycznie. Anioł uśmiechnął się, ale nie przerwał. Przeniósł się jedynie na drugi sutek, pieszcząc go dokładnie w ten sam sposób. - Cas, proszę. - wyrwało się z ust Winchestera. Castiel wyprostował się i zabrał rękę z pośladka, by pogładzić nią policzek Deana. Złapał go za brodę i przyciągnął do pocałunku. Ich języki splotły się ze sobą tak naturalnie, jakby do tego właśnie zostały stworzone. Anioł nie planował jednak dawać łowcy ani chwili wytchnienia. Sięgnął w dół, między nogi Deana i zdecydowanie objął ręką wybrzuszenie w spodniach. Winchester zachłysnął się powietrzem i zacisnął powieki, starając się być możliwie jak najbliżej dłoni, która z wyczuciem masowała jego erekcje. Gdyby Cas go teraz nie trzymał najpewniej osunąłby się po ścianie. Zaskomlał, gdy owa dłoń zniknęła i otworzył oczy. Castiel puścił ręce Deana, złożył ostatni, czuły pocałunek na jego wargach i opadł na kolana. Zwinnie uporał się z zapięciem dżinsów, które już po kilku sekundach zsunął, razem z bokserkami. Zwilżył usta, a Winchester instynktownie powtórzył jego działanie. Anioł przezornie ułożył ręce na biodrach łowcy, by móc je unieruchomić w razie potrzeby i bez ostrzeżenia wsunął do gardła tyle długości członka, ile dał radę. Dean odrzucił głowę do tyłu, o mało nie roztrzaskując sobie przy tym czaszki i jęknął głośno. Castiel uniósł się i językiem zatoczył kółko wokół główki penisa, by po chwili znów go pochłonąć. Jedną rękę przeniósł na jądra łowcy, ugniatając je lekko. Winchester zanurzył palce w jego włosach, przeczesując ciemne kosmyki. Ostrzegawcze ugryzienie, ostatecznie odwiodło go od pomysłu szarpnięcia za nie. Anioł rozchylił powieki i spojrzał w górę, prosto w oczy Deana, który natychmiast zdał sobie sprawę, że mógłby dojść od samego patrzenia na ściągnięte policzki Casa, otulające ciasno jego członek. Nie potrafił jednak powstrzymać gwałtownego ruchu bioder, na widok rozszerzonych z pragnienia tęczówek Castiela. Anioł skupił się na małej dziurce, z której wydobywał się biały płyn. Zlizywał go, napawając się słodko - gorzkim smakiem łowcy, jednocześnie uważając, aby nie uronić ani jednej kropli. Gdy nektar przestał się sączyć, Castiel powrócił do poprzedniej czynności, jednak tym razem ręka stanowiła przedłużenie jego gardła, zaciskając się tam, gdzie usta nie miały możliwości dotrzeć. Narzucił szybsze tempo, sprawiając, że palce łowcy mimowolnie ugniatały mu potylicę. - Cas, ja zaraz… - wysapał Dean, chcąc ostrzec anioła. Przegryzł wargę prawie do krwi, starając się opóźnić orgazm i gdy był już pewny, że nie wytrzyma ani sekundy dłużej, poczuł pustkę. Castiel odsunął się od niego i wstał, podpierając się dłońmi o podłogę. Łowca zaskomlał żałośnie i już miał sięgnąć rękami po członka, aby dokończyć, gdy anioł zatrzymał je w połowie drogi. - Cas… Cas, nie przerywaj, proszę - powtarzał Dean z zaciśniętymi powiekami jak litanię. Miotał się, potrzebował tylko jednego, może dwóch ruchów, by osiągnąć szczyt, a Castiel jak na złość stał zbyt daleko, by można było chociaż się o niego otrzeć. - Dean, spójrz na mnie. - powiedział miękko anioł, czując jak nakłady łaski się wyczerpują, a podniecenie proporcjonalnie do nich, rośnie i obezwładnia go. Winchester z trudem spełnił prośbę. Nie potrafił myśleć jasno, pragnienie dotyku spalało go od środka, dodatkowo potęgując gniew. - Ty chory… - zaczął, oddychając ciężko. - Rozumiem - przerwał mu ostro Castiel. Szarpnął Deana za ramię i odwrócił przodem do ściany, przyciskając się do jego nagiego ciała. Resztki mocy wykorzystał do pozbycia się ubrań i nawilżenia własnego członka, na tyle, aby nie sprawić łowcy bólu. Rozchylił pośladki Winchestera i nakierował swoją erekcję na wejście, by już po chwili powoli zanurzać się we wnętrzu Deana, jednocześnie zaciskając zęby na jego barku. Łowca syknął, ale lekkie pieczenie nie powstrzymało go przed próbą odepchnięcia się od ściany, by szybciej przyjąć w siebie Casa. Anioł zdusił te starania w zarodku, przytrzymując Winchestera rękoma. Gdy wszedł w niego do końca, obaj wypuścili wstrzymywane od początku powietrze, a z ust Deana wylał się potok przekleństw. Castiel wycofał się i pchnął ponownie, tym razem trafiając idealnie w prostatę łowcy, którego przeszył dreszcz ekstazy. Anioł powtarzał czynność, rozkoszując się reakcjami Winchestera, nie zważając na to, że traci rozsądek i coraz bardziej ulega przyjemnemu tarciu. - Cas szybciej, proszę Cas… - do uszu Castiela dotarło błaganie, przywracając go do rzeczywistości. Nawiedziło go mgliste wspomnienie o tym, jak postanowił dać łowcy nauczkę i chciał zwolnić, pragnął tego całym sobą, ale Dean był tak kurewsko ciasny i gorący, że Castiel musiał się naprawdę starać, by nie dojść przed nim. Jednak nie poddał się. Znalazł jedno radosne wspomnienie i przytrzymał się go, ignorując szum w głowie, fale gorąca, przebiegające przez jego ciało, jęki i prośby łowcy, a nawet cichy, zdradziecki głosik, podpowiadający mu, aby odpuścił i dał się ponieść rozkoszy. I wygrał. Zwolnił, zaciskając dłonie na biodrach Deana tak, że powstały na nich krwawe wgłębienia po paznokciach. Łowca o krok od histerii, spróbował przypomnieć sobie czym zasłużył na takie tortury, ale jego wspomnienia mieszały się i wirowały, tworząc bezkresny ciąg słów, obrazów i emocji. Jedno z nich, trwające zaledwie sekundę, uświadomiło Deanowi przyczynę takiego zachowania Castiela i łowca starał się coś powiedzieć, ale penis anioła w jego wnętrzu, uderzający rytmicznie o prostatę skutecznie pozbawił go umiejętności układania zdań, więc Dean wyrzucał z siebie jedynie pojedyncze, bezsensowne słowa, modląc się, aby Cas zrozumiał jego intencje: - Cas, nie będę... - zakrztusił się, ale nie przerwał - Ja… Castiel, Cas... Przepraszam. To wystarczyło, by anioł natychmiast mu wybaczył i przestał się hamować. Ruchy jego bioder stały szybsze i mocniejsze, aż Castiel odnalazł rytm i uczepił się go, torując im obu ścieżkę do nieba. Dean chciał mu podziękować, ale nie był w stanie wydobyć z siebie nic, poza urwanymi sylabami, które już po chwili przeszły w chrapliwe sapnięcia. Anioł wcisnął twarz w jego plecy, gubiąc tempo ruchów, czyniąc je coraz bardziej nieregularnymi i sięgnął ręką do członka łowcy, by objąć go ciasno i pieścić zdecydowanymi, kolistymi ruchami. Dean wygiął się w łuk, dreszcz przeszył całe jego ciało i Winchester rozpadł się na miliardy małych kawałeczków, oblewając dłoń Casa gorącym płynem. Castiel poczuł jak łowca zaciska się na nim, wykonał jeszcze dwa gwałtowne, silne pchnięcia i dołączył do Deana, otwierając usta w niemym krzyku. Obaj drżeli od siły orgazmu, łapczywie chwytając powietrze, a ulga, która ich zalała była tak paraliżująca, że musieli podtrzymywać się nawzajem, by dotrzeć do łóżka. - Chyba muszę Cię częściej denerwować. Kiedy kolejna lekcja? - zapytał z zadowoleniem Dean, gdy jego oddech się uspokoił. - Dean, nie zaczynaj. - Castiel starał się brzmieć ostro i karcąco, ale łowca wyczuł nutkę satysfakcji w jego głosie. - Oj, tylko żartowałem, aniołku - uspokoił go, uśmiechając się błogo. Ułożył głowę w zagłębieniu szyi Casa, prawie od razu zapadając w sen. Zanim całkiem odpłynął usłyszał jeszcze cichy szept, tuż przy swoim uchu: - Kocham Cię, Dean. Śpij dobrze.
10427187	Bullets For My Valentine	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "F/F", "Characters": "Tobin Heath, Christen Press, Hope Solo, Morgan Brian, Meghan Klingenberg, Ali Krieger", "Fandom": "Women's Soccer RPF", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Not Rated", "author": "by jenunjen96816", "chapters": "10/10", "completed": "2017-04-03", "published": "2017-03-24T00:00:00", "words": "17,980", "Additional Tags": "Alternate Universe", "Relationship": "Tobin Heath/Christen Press", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "Bullets For My Valentine - The Series", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	“Why do people from Portland always brag about having the best coffee?” Detective Christen Press asked as she stopped the black Chevy Suburban at a red light.“Because we do”, Detective Tobin Heath, riding shotgun, confidently replied. She looked over and smiled at Christen, who looked back and rolled her eyes. Tobin and Christen served as detectives under Senior Detective Hope Solo on the Strike Team, an elite law enforcement unit within the Chicago Police Department. The unit worked closely with the FBI and JOCT, the Joint Organized Crime Taskforce, which coordinated the fight on organized crime between federal and law enforcement agencies. Tobin and Christen were headed back to the 11th Precinct in downtown Chicago, which served as the Strike Team’s base of operations. They had been checking out some leads on a drug ring operating in the area and had split up the leads with Hope and Detective Morgan “Moe” Brian, the newest member of the team. “Why do you people from Chicago always claim to have the best hot dogs?” Tobin retorted. “And why would anyone want to brag about that anyway? Those things are disgusting. It’s like claiming to have the best…I don’t know…cow pies, or something.”“Whatever”, Christen said, and started driving again as the light turned green. “Maybe you should go back to Portland, and take your snide-ass comments with you.”“Oh, but you’d miss me”, Tobin said, as she looked over and smiled.Christen glanced over and smiled back. She was right. Tobin was hot, calm under pressure, and utterly fearless, and Christen had fallen for all of those things. Since Detective Julie Johnson had left the Strike Team six months ago, Christen and Tobin had been working more closely together. Hope had been pairing up with Morgan, who was Julie’s replacement. Like Julie, Morgan was an expert in self-defense and hand to hand combat. Tobin was the team’s explosives expert, having served on an EOD team in the army and then on the CPD bomb squad before joining the Strike Team. Christen was the team’s sharp shooter. “As much as it pains me to say it, I would”, she said with a smirk.Tobin, still smiling, looked at her. She gorgeous, Tobin thought. She wasn’t sure exactly when, but sometime in the last few months, her feelings had moved beyond platonic for the stunning brunette sitting next to her. Maybe it was that they had been working more closely and spending more time together. Maybe it was the close calls they’d had, working in a profession that courted physical danger. Maybe it was the fact that Christen was smart and gorgeous. True, they were partners on the same team, and it was a general rule that teammates shouldn’t have personal relationships, but she just couldn’t help feeling what she did. She stared at Christen for a moment longer and then looked away and asked, “Talk with JJ lately?”“Last week”, Christen said. “She’s enjoying FBI life with Alex.” After the case involving The Black Dragon Society, New Ireland and The Rose Syndicate, Christen and Julie had gone out on a few dates, but then Julie had transferred. “Speaking of which, you talk with Alex lately?”“Yeah, same, couple of weeks ago. She says she misses working with Pinoe, but likes having JJ as a partner”, Tobin said. After the Black Dragon, New Ireland and Rose Syndicate case, Special Agent Megan Rapinoe, who had been partners with Special Agent Alex Morgan, had received a promotion and a move to the FBI’s office in New York. She had taken Alex with her, but her promotion had left Alex without a partner. Julie’s dream had always been to be an FBI agent, so when an opportunity came up to work with Alex and under Megan, she applied, and with some discussion between Hope, Megan, and Special Agent Ali Krieger of JOCT, who had been in charge of coordinating the extended team’s efforts, Julie had taken the transfer. Shortly after that, Hope had hired Morgan onto the Strike Team to replace Julie.“I miss those guys, but that’s life”, Christen said. She was silent for a moment and then said, “Funny how things work out, you know?”Tobin looked over. “Yeah, I hear ya”, she said. She had gone out with Alex a couple times, and they’d had fun together, but things had pretty much ended right there. There were no hard feelings - there just wasn’t enough there to progress. “Fuck, this has been long day”, Tobin said as she stretched her arms over her head and rolled her neck, then looked at the clock on the car dashboard. It was just before 10pm. She was silent for a moment and then said, “You wanna get a drink?”Christen looked at Tobin, contemplating. They had been out for drinks before, but lately, drinking together had become more…daring, or something. She was on the fence. She was tired, and they were near the station, and she just kind of wanted to go home, but she could use a drink. This drug ring case they had been working on was taxing everyone. She thought for another moment and then smiled. “Sure, let’s do it-” she started, when the radio went off.“All units, report of shots fired at City Hall.”Christen looked at Tobin. City had was just a few blocks from the station. Tobin looked back at Christen and then grabbed the radio.“Dispatch, this is 8-Lincoln 30, we are in the area two blocks away, responding”, Tobin said, then hung up.“Well, so much for that drink”, Christen said as she hit the gas and the lights.Tobin looked at her and then smiled. “This is better - we get to bust some bad guys”, she said, then checked the clip in her gun. “And then we can still go drink afterwards”, she said.Christen smiled at her and shook her head. “You’re too much, Tobie.” Lately she had started calling Tobin ‘Tobie’, instead of ‘Tobin’, ‘Heath’, or ‘Nutmeg’, which was Tobin’s general nickname.“Yeah baby!”, Tobin exclaimed with a smile, then hit the side of the car with her hand. “Let’s fuckin’ do this!” ****** Christen skidded to a stop in front of City Hall, and then she and Tobin got out. They drew their guns and then looked around, and a second later a security guard ran up, hands out in front of him, panic on his face. “Help! They’re over there!” he yelled, pointing to the right side.“How many?” Christen asked.“Three”, the guard said.“Okay, call for backup”, Christen said, then looked at Tobin. “Let’s go.” The two women raised their guns and approached the building.“I see them!” Tobin shouted, pointing at two dark figures moving towards the back right side of the building, then took off running after them. Christen followed her, then saw another dark figure moving towards the other side.“I see another! We need to split up”, Christen said. She took off running towards the other suspect but then dove behind a dumpster when the figure raised its arm. Bullets ricocheted off the side of the dumpster. Christen swore, then poked her head out to see the figure round a corner. She got up and continued pursuit, but as she approached the corner she heard the sounds of a motorcycle starting up, and she rounded the corner just in time to see it take off.“Shit”, Christen swore. She put her hands to her head and was about to swear again, when she heard a gunshot coming from the direction in which Tobin had run. She took off in that direction, gun at the ready. “Tobin?” she called out. No answer. She called Tobin’s name again, and then rounded a corner into an alley, and froze.Tobin was twenty feet away, facing the other way. She was down on her knees, her hands behind her head. A figure in all black, ski mask over its head, was behind her, its back also towards Christen. It was holding a gun, the tip of the barrel touching the back of Tobin’s head.“You’re gonna die”, a female voice said.“You don’t have the guts”, Tobin said.“Ten…nine…eight…seven…six…” The woman said, slowly backing away as she counted. ”Five…four…three…tw-” BANGThe woman screamed and dropped the gun. Tobin instantly spun around. The woman was five feet away from her, clutching her hand. Tobin shot in like a wrestler, taking the woman to the ground, and then pounced on her as Christen emerged from the shadows, her gun still smoking.“You’re under arrest”, Tobin said to the woman. She turned her over and slapped on the cuffs, and the woman screamed as Tobin grabbed the hand that had been holding the gun. “Nice shot, Chris. Right in the hand”, Tobin said. Lately she had started calling Christen ‘Chris’. Christen smiled faintly, and Tobin pulled off the ski mask covering the woman’s face. A young brunette stared backed, a mixture of disdain and fear in her eyes.“You okay?” Christen asked Tobin, holstering her gun.“Yeah”, Tobin said. “Went after the first one, got blindsided by this one here. The first one escaped.” She hauled the woman up onto her feet.Christen nodded, then reached down and picked up Tobin’s gun and handed it to her. Tobin holstered it and then said, “Thanks. Where’s the suspect you went after?”“Got away. Shot at me and then took off on a motorcycle. But I’m sure this one here can help us find him…or her. Robbery, attempted murder of a police officer…you’re in a lot of trouble”, Christen said, looking at the suspect, whose facial expression was going quickly away from disdain and more towards fear.“I’m sure she’ll be willing to help us out, right?” Tobin said to the suspect, smiling. “Alright, let’s go”, she said, then lead the suspect out of the alley, with Christen following. They walked towards the front of City Hall, where the security guard was still waiting, and the first uniformed police officers were arriving on the scene. Tobin shoved the suspect into the back of a waiting car and then walked towards Christen. “Hey, Chris, thanks”, she said. “For, you know…saving me.”Christen looked back at Tobin for a moment, then grabbed Tobin’s hand and squeezed it lightly. “Anytime, Tobie”, she said with a slight smile. Then she and Tobin got into the Suburban and headed towards the station. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- The two thieves entered the warehouse and walked to the back towards the office. Their employers were waiting for them in the semi-dark room.“Did you get it?” a tall, beautiful, dark haired woman asked. She was sitting in a chair at a desk, the only furniture in the room.“Sure did”, the first thief said. She held up a shoulder bag.“Let’s see it”, the dark haired woman said, and motioned to her companion. An attractive woman with dirty blonde hair stepped forward to take the bag, light glinting in her fierce eyes, a hard expression on her face.“Um… may we see the money?” the second thief said, nervously.The dark haired woman stared at her. “Have I ever not paid you?” she asked politely.“Um…you always pay us”, the second thief said. It was true – this employer always paid, and paid well. But she was nervous. This time things hadn’t gone exactly according to plan.“Indeed I do”, the dark haired woman said, then smiled. “But if it will make you feel better…” She reached below her desk and brought up a suitcase. She put it on the desk and then opened it, letting the two thieves see the contents. “Good?”“Yup, we’re good”, said the first thief haughtily. Unlike the second thief, her employers did not make her nervous. They were just customers, that was all. And no matter how bad someone thinks they may be, no one is badder than a bullet, and the first thief was a good shot, if she didn't mind saying so herself. "We good?" she said to the second thief, who nodded.“Good. Now, the merchandise”, the dark haired woman said, and the dirty blonde held out her hand. She took the bag from the first thief, then handed it to the dark haired woman, who removed the contents from the bag. She flipped it over several times, examining it in the minimal light, then smiled. “Thank you, ladies”, she said.“So we’re good?” the second thief asked as the first thief grabbed the suitcase full of money off the desk.“We’re good”, the dark haired woman said. She paused for a moment and then asked, “Where is your companion?”“We got split up at the scene”, the second thief said.“Last I saw her, she was holding a gun to the back of some cop’s head”, the first thief said, bravado in her voice. She smiled at the second thief, who smiled back nervously, not sure why their employers didn’t make her accomplice as nervous as they did her.“Hmmm…” the dark haired woman said, thinking.“So, we’re good?” the second thief asked again, anxious to complete the transaction and leave.The dark haired woman looked at the first thief, and then at the second thief, and then smiled. “Yes, I believe we are good”, she said, then looked at the dirty blonde and nodded.“Well alright then, nic-” the first thief was about to say ‘nice doing business with you’, when the dirty blonde reached out and sliced her throat with a wicked-looking butterfly knife that seemed to have materialized in her hand out of thin air. The first thief went down, the briefcase falling to the ground with a thud. The second thief turned to her associate, but before she could process what had just happened, the butterfly knife sliced through her neck as well, and she went down as quick as the first. The dark haired woman watched it all, a smile forming on her face as the two thieves fell.“The third one got busted by the cops”, the dirty blonde surmised, as she wiped blood off of her knife onto the first thief’s shirt, then picked up the briefcase full of money and handed it back to the dark haired woman.“Indeed. Otherwise she would have been here by now”, the dark haired woman said. “And now, the police are in the know.”“They don’t know our names”, the dirty blonde said.“True, but the one they got has seen us. And anything she could give the cops is bad.”“Agreed”, the dirty blonde said. “Do we need to dispose of her?”“Not sure”, the dark haired woman said. “Maybe. But that’ll be tricky, now that she’s in police custody.”The dirty blonde nodded. “I hate loose ends”, she said, then looked down at the two dead thieves. “We’ll dump them in the lake”, she said to the dark haired woman.“Excellent”, the dark haired woman said and then smiled. “Shall we get moving?” **** “Hey, you okay?” Christen asked. She and Tobin were back at Tobin’s apartment. They had gone back to the station and filled out some paperwork, then had gone through a preliminary round of questioning with the suspect. She had remained silent the whole time, so they had called Hope, who had come down. They briefed Hope on what had happened, and Hope, sensing that something was wrong with Tobin, had told Tobin to go home. Christen had asked to accompany her, and Hope had agreed. Now the two of them were sitting close on Tobin’s couch, half-finished beers and phones on the coffee table.“Yeah”, Tobin said. She was silent for a moment, and then said. “Well, I guess it’s like…man that was scary”, she said. “That’s the first time I’ve ever had a gun pointed right at the back of my head. Scared the shit out of me.”“Yeah”, Christen said. “But, you’ll be okay. I mean, you know – you’re fearless. You’re the gung-ho one on the team, adrenaline junkie, bomb diffuser”, she said, then smiled.“Yeah, but this was different”, Tobin said. She couldn’t explain it. Yes, she had diffused tons of bombs, and going up against a ticking timer had never unnerved her. She’d been shot at before, and that had never scared her either. But feeling the cold hard steel of a gun right up against the back of her head had her shaken. “That woman would have shot me if you hadn’t been there.”“Awwww…”, Christen said. She looked at Tobin for a moment, who was staring ahead, and then, moved behind Tobin and wrapped her arms around Tobin’s waist, holding her from behind. Tobin sighed, and then Christen felt Tobin’s hands cover her own. Christen buried her face in Tobin’s hair and gave her a light kiss to the back of her head. The two of them stayed there for a moment and then Christen scooted back, laid herself down, and then gently pulled Tobin down to a lying position so she was spooning Tobin from behind.“Chris…” Tobin said, still staring straight ahead, still processing the feeling of the gun against the base of her skull, and also processing the feeling of Christen cuddling her from behind.“I’m here, Tobie”, Christen said softly. She took one hand from Tobin’s waist and started to gently run her fingers through Tobin’s hair. “It’s okay”, she said, as Tobin sighed again and closed her eyes. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Tobin opened her eyes as her phone rang and buzzed on the coffee table. She opened her eyes, confused, and then realized that she was still on her couch, Christen was snuggled in behind her. The phone rang again, and she felt Christen stir, then picked up the phone. It was Hope, calling at 7:30am.“Hey boss”, Tobin said.“Nutmeg, how you feeling?” Hope asked.“I’m okay.”“Did you get some rest?”“Uhhhh…yeah, enough”, Tobin said, sitting up. She looked over at Christen, who was opening her eyes, squinting in the morning sunlight coming through the window.“Good. Well get down here as soon as you can”, Hope said. “I’m gonna call Press.”“No, tha-” Tobin started to say “No, that’s okay, I can tell her”, but then figured maybe at this point in time Hope didn’t need to know that Christen had spent the night at her house, spooning her from behind.“What’s that?” Hope asked.“Uhhh..nothing. I mean, that sounds good”, Tobin said. She hung up and then looked at Christen. “Good morning”, she said.“Hey”, Christen said back, through sleepy eyes. “How do you feel?”“Better”, Tobin said, then smiled. “Thanks for staying last night.”“Anytime”, Christen said, then reached out and gently rubbed Tobin’s back.Tobin stared back at Christen. I want to kiss her, she thought. She’s beautiful, even after just waking up, hair mussed up. She started to bend down, and then Christen’s phone went off. “Oh yeah – Hope’s calling”, Tobin said, stopping her downward movement. Christen looked at her, still waking up. “I wasn’t sure if I should tell her that you had spent the night here”, Tobin said. She smiled slightly and shrugged her shoulders, and then Christen groaned, sat up and picked up her phone. **** Christen and Tobin arrived at the precinct thirty minutes later and walked into the Strike Team area. Hope and Morgan were already there, standing at a large table.“Hey”, Hope said. She noticed that Christen was wearing the same clothes as she had been wearing last night, but chose not to say anything. “I heard about what happened”, Morgan said. “You okay?” she asked Tobin.“Yeah”, Tobin said. “Better today than I was last night.” Then she looked at Christen. “Crack shot over here saved my ass. Bullseye shot, right in the hand.”“Nice work, Presi”, Morgan said to Christen, who smiled.“Okay guys, look”, Hope said to get them going, then looked at Morgan. “The suspect that Press and Nutmeg collared last night is Lisa Morland. Twenty-six years old. She’s a career thief, been in and out of the system since she was sixteen. She and two accomplices were hired to break into City Hall last night and steal some plans.”“Plans?” Christen said. “What are you talking about? We couldn’t get Morland to say anything last night.”“I put the screws to her last night after you guys left”, Hope said. “She’s scared to death of whoever hired her, but I told her she could either cooperate for witness protection, or she could take her chances on death row at Stateville. She started talking. I found out that she and her accomplices, named Leila Hammond and Corie Phelps, had been hired to steal some plans for a gas line that’s being constructed near the South Loop.”“What? Why?” Tobin asked.“She doesn't know”, Hope said. “She said the people who hired her last night have hired her before, but they don't tell her much. They just tell what to steal and where it’s located. She doesn’t ask why they need it, and they don’t say. She just delivers the merchandise, and they give her the money."“Who hired her?” Christen asked.“She doesn’t know who they are, only that they speak English with a slight accent of some kind”, Hope said. “She’s met them face to face a couple times, but they never give her their names.”“Okay, we need to get BOLOs out on Hammond and Phelps”, Christen said.“Already did. Got nothing so far”, Hope said.“Damn”, Tobin said.“I know, we don’t have much”, Hope said.“Anything else?” Morgan asked.“Just the two items we found on her”, Hope said, pointing to the two evidence bags on the table. “Matches”, Morgan said, picking up the clear bag holding them. “Lion’s Head Pub.”“It’s in the near north area”, Tobin said.“And what’s this?” Morgan asked, picking up the other bag that was holding a gold coin.“I don’t know”, Hope said.“It’s a Krugerrand”, a male voice came from behind them. Hope, Christen, Tobin and Morgan turned around to see a man and a woman carrying a briefcase, both in suits, walking towards them. With them was Special Agent Ali Krieger of the Joint Organized Crime Task Force.“Krieger – hey”, Hope said and smiled. “How are you? It’s been a bit. Surprised to see you here.”“Hey Hope. Good to see you. Surprised to be here myself”, Ali said, smiling back, then turned to Tobin, Christen and Morgan. “Nutmeg, Press, Moe. How are you guys?” “Good Ali, you?” Christen said.“How’s Ash?” Tobin asked.“And the baby?” Morgan asked.“Good, good and good”, Ali said.“I thought you were supposed to be on maternity leave”, Hope said.“Uh, excuse me, ladies”, the man interrupted curtly. “Can we save the chit-chat for tea time? We’ve got bad guys to catch.”“And we’re catching up”, Hope said. She gave the man a hard look and then took a step closer. “You sure you want to start shit with me in my house?” The man started to pipe up, but the woman in the suit put one hand gently on her colleague’s arm, then held the other up and smiled politely at Hope.“Hope, it’s alright”, Ali said, putting her own hand up in front of the muscular brunette. “You’re right: I am on maternity leave, but I got a call this morning from Wambach, so I figured I should jump in, just to get things started.” Mary A. Wambach was the director of the Chicago JOCT office, and Ali’s boss. Ali smiled at Hope to calm her down and then motioned to the two people with her. “This is Special Agent Dax McCarty from the FBI, DC office, and this is Meghan Klingenberg from INTERPOL. Wambach got a call this morning from FBI Director Kramer in DC, informing her of Dax and Meghan’s arrival in Chicago, so she called me”, Ali said by way of explanation.“INTERPOL, huh?" Morgan said to Meghan, giving her the once-over. "So...what do you do for INTERPOL? Special agent? Detective?" she asked Meghan with a charming smile.“I do what I do, detective", Meghan said, matter-of-factly back to Morgan.“Nice try", Tobin smirked at Morgan, who spread her hands open-palms and rolled her eyes back at Tobin.“Nice to meet you, I suppose”, Hope said to Meghan. “You, I’m not so sure about”, she said to Dax. She glared at him for a moment but then remembered that out of respect for Ali she was supposed to play nice with the FBI. It had taken her a couple years to get on good terms with Pinoe, and if this guy in the suit didn’t drop his pushy attitude real fast, it may take a couple years to get on terms with him, too. She looked at Dax and Meghan. “I’m Senior Detective Hope Solo. I run the Strike Team”, she said, then looked at her team. “Detective Tobin Heath, Detective Christen Press, and Detective Morgan Brian”, she said, motioning to each woman with her arm. “So, Special Agent Dax McCarty of the F-B-I", Hope said, mockingly over-enunciating each syllable, "Why don’t you tell us why you’re here, and what a cougar…cougar-ren…cougars’ rant, Freddy fucking Krueger - whatever the fuck this coin is called - is.”“Cougar’s Rant – sounds like a talk show for pissed off, middle-aged hotties”, Tobin said, and Christen and Morgan laughed.Dax smiled tightly and then motioned to Meghan, who pulled a laptop out of her bag. “It’s called a Krugerrand. It’s a South African coin”, he said. “And we are here because we got word that you apprehended a robbery suspect last night who was holding one of these coins on her person, along with a book of matches from the Lion’s Head Pub.”“That’s right”, Hope said. She was going to ask how they had gotten word, but then figured it wouldn’t really matter, so she asked a more pertinent question instead. “So, what do you want with our suspect?”“We don’t want her”, Meghan said, wiring her laptop to the wall monitor in the Strike Team area. “We want the people who hired her.” She finished connecting her computer and then pulled up an image onto the monitor. It was a beautiful Caucasian woman with dark hair who appeared to be in her mid-thirties. “This is Alice Ruger. South African national. Served in the South African Army, now a mercenary, and not a nice one. We think she serves as a high level operative in a South African group known as Valkyrie. It’s not exactly clear what Valkyrie’s mission statement is, but they are definitely pro-South Africa and pro-white. They are also violent and engaged in multiple channels of criminal behavior. Think of them as like the South African version of the IRA.” Meghan clicked on her computer and another image came up, this one of an attractive woman with dirty blonde hair and fierce eyes, who looked to be a bit younger than the first. “This is Mack Van Nilsen, also a South African national. Her father, Casper Van Nilsen, was born in Amsterdam and is aligned with the Dutch National Socialist movement. Ms. Van Nilsen is a weapons dealer. And even meaner than Ruger. Not sure if she is an actual member of Valkyrie, but she has definite ties to the group. At the very least she supplies them with weapons for their jobs.”“So, the suspect we caught last night, Lisa Morland, has ties to a South African terrorist group?”“Not directly, but she has been contracted by them several times for heists”, Dax said.“So, we stumbled upon something much bigger than your average local robbery”, Christen said.“Yes you did”, Dax said. “Valkyrie gives their contractors Krugerrand as a good luck token for their jobs. As for the matches that were found on the suspect, Lion’s Head Pub is owned by a woman named Sarah Barker, also a South African national.”“So we have international players”, Morgan said. “Hence, you're here”, she said, staring right at Meghan, and smiled charmingly again.“That’s correct, detective”. Meghan said, this time smiling slightly back at Morgan, then turned to the group. “We first got rumblings of a possible Valkyrie attack on American soil about a year ago. That’s when the FBI and INTERPOL started working together.”“So there’s a chance that Ruger and Van Nilsen may be hiding out at Lion’s Head, along with the suspects who escaped last night”, Christen said.“It’s a possibility”, Meghan said.“So why don’t we just go over there and see who’s home?” Tobin said.“That’s a good idea, detective, but we can’t just go in guns blazing”, Dax said.“Why not?”“Because if Ruger and Van Nilsen are here in Chicago right now, that means they are planning something big.”“Like what?” Christen said.“We don’t know. But, if we go in hot, and they’re not there, then we risk spooking them. We can’t afford to let that happen. We need to make sure we catch them.”“We’ve heard that the suspects who escaped last night took some plans”, Meghan said. “Construction plans, to a new gas line in the south loop area.”“Yeah. So?” Morgan said.“So, perhaps those stolen gas line plans could be a clue as to what Valkyrie is planning. Perhaps, say…some kind of massive explosion…?” Meghan said and raised her eyebrows at Morgan, who rolled her eyes back at Meghan. “It wouldn’t be the first time Valkyrie has utilized explosives. We know of at least seven bombings linked to their name.”“Okay, say you’re right about them wanting to blow up the south loop”, Tobin said. “What’s in the south loop worth blowing up?”“I don’t know”, Meghan said.“You guys tell us. You're the local authorities. What’s even down there?” Dax asked.“Mostly touristy stuff. Art Institute, Field Museum, Shedd Aquarium, Planetarium…” Morgan said.“Could be a plan to injure as many civilians as possible”, Meghan said. “This is a violent organization”, she reminded the group.“Okay, so what’s the plan then?” Hope asked, then looked at Ali. “Krieger?”“I’m out of this, actually”, Ali said. “I just came to help facilitate introductions, but I’m sure you’ll all play nice together without me”, she said and smiled.Hope snorted and then looked at Dax. “So, Special Agent McCarty, what’s the FBI’s grand plan?”“Well, like I said, we can’t go in hot, but we do need to look around, so maybe we can all go over there, but just a couple of us go in, get a sit rep, and then come back out and tell the others.”“That’s a hell of a plan”, Hope said sarcastically. “Fine, but Moe and I need to look into something for another case right now”, she said, “so Press, Nutmeg – you guys go over with the suits and check it out.”“Sure thing, boss, but uh…just one thing”, Tobin said, then turned to the group. “Lion’s Head is a lesbian bar.”“What?” Dax said.“I said, Lion’s Head is a lesbian bar”, Tobin said, this time right at Dax. Dax narrowed his eyes, so Tobin said, “I know, because I’ve had some adventures there-”, but then stopped herself and looked at Christen, who narrowed her eyes at Tobin. “Uh, long time ago, just a few adventures, nothing recent…” Tobin said, drifting off. Hope looked at Tobin, then at Christen, then back at Tobin, who looked at Dax and continued. “So anyway, you won’t be able to go in without attracting attention. Especially not in your G-man suit.”“Sounds like you get to stay in the car”, Hope said to Dax with a smirk.“Now just wait a minute, this is my operat-”, Dax started, but Ali cut him off.“Detective Solo is right", Ali said. "We can’t risk any unnecessary suspicion. The best plan is to have Christen and Tobin go in, scope the situation, and then come out. If Ruger and Van Nilsen are there, you can all go back in together and take them. And as a reminder, Special Agent McCarty, JOCT has overall jurisdiction here, not the FBI. Now, I intend to stay out, but remember that you are in the Strike Team's house, so I expect you to play nice.” She stared at Dax for a moment and then said, "Don't make me come in on my maternity leave."“Fine”, Dax huffed. “But no guns. We can’t risk you two getting caught if for some reason you get frisked at the door”, he said to Tobin and Christen. “Plus, I don’t want you going in there guns blazing and shooting up the place without reason." He eyed the Strike Team disdainfully. "I've heard about you guys. Hot shots. Risk takers. Adrenaline junkies. Working outside procedure. A bunch of damn cowgirls", he said, looking around at the group.“Is this guy for real?” Christen asked, looking around. Hope glared at Dax, Morgan tipped an imaginary cowboy hat, and Tobin pointed a finger gun at him.“Dax, I can go with Detectives Heath and Press”, Meghan said reassuringly.Hope looked at Meghan for a moment and then said, "Fine, but put some normal clothes on first. You look as much like a G-man stiff as he does”, she said, pointing to Dax. Then she turned to Christen and Tobin. “We’ll be in touch after we run down something on the drug ring case. Call us if you need us”, she said, then grabbed a jelly donut off the table and smooshed it into Dax’s hand. “For you, while you wait in the car”, she said smugly. Dax scowled, and Hope winked at him and then turned to Ali and smiled. “Nice to see you, Krieger, and don't worry, I’m sure we’ll all get along just fine”, she said, and then motioned to Morgan.“Love your suit”, Morgan said suggestively to Meghan and then winked as she walked past her. Tobin and Christen snickered, and then Morgan and Hope walked away.“Are all of these Chicago detectives such asses?” Dax asked Ali, jelly filling dripping off his fingers.“Just the ones who are good”, Ali said, smiling. Then she stopped smiling and looked at Dax. “And these guys are the best. So mind yourself.” Dax scowled a bit but nodded his head, and Ali turned to Christen and Tobin. “Press, Nutmeg – nice seeing you guys.”“Nice seeing you, too”, Christen said.“Say hi to Ash and the baby”, Tobin said.“Thanks, I will. Good luck guys”, she said to everyone, then turned around and left.Dax turned to Christen and Tobin. “Well, I hope that’s enough of the shenanigans, and that we can work together in a cooperative manner”, he said, looking around, trying to figure out where to wipe his fingers.“Hey, you were the one who came in here, ‘guns blazing’, with attitude”, Christen said, mocking Dax’s line from earlier.“Yeah, really. Cool your jets, and we’ll be fine, okay, Mr. F-B-I guy?” Tobin added, then handed Dax a napkin. Dax took it and stared at her but didn’t say anything. "You're welcome", Tobin said, then looked at Meghan. “Well? Hurry up and get changed”, she said, then looked at Dax. “We’ve got bad guys to catch”, she said, mocking Dax’s line from earlier, and Christen stifled a laugh. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Tobin, Christen, Megan and Dax rode in Meghan’s black Suburban to Lion’s Head Pub. Dax rode shotgun, in silence, pouting over what he perceived as the Strike Team’s unwillingness to recognize the authority of the FBI. Tobin sat in the back, right behind Dax, making faces at the back of his seat. Christen sat beside her, laughing quietly. Fifteen minutes later they parked half a block up the street from the bar.“Alright ladies, take out your guns and leave them here”, Dax said, trying to sound like he was leading the group.“Just don’t put your jelly donut fingers on this”, Tobin said as she put her gun on the seat, and Christen laughed.“Look, enough jokes, okay?” Dax said. He was trying to hold up, but he was becoming more defeated by the minute, and now his tone was more pleading than authoritative.“Hey – you work with us, we’ll work with you”, Christen said. “But this is our house. You’re a guest. So stop trying to come off like a tough guy boss, got it?”Dax stared at her for a moment, then sighed and said, “Okay, fine, just…get in there, do some surveillance, and come back out, okay…please?” Dax said, exasperated.“You said please. That’s good”, Tobin said. “So yes, sure, we can do that, no problem”, she said.“There, that wasn’t so hard was it?” Christen said to Dax. “See? You’re cool with us, we’re cool with you.”“Okay, ready?” Meghan asked, trying to steer the three others away from a pissing match and back on the job.“Yup, let’s go”, Christen said, then she, Tobin and Meghan got out of the Suburban, shut the doors and started walking towards the bar.“Your partner’s an ass”, Christen said to Meghan.“He kind of is”, Meghan agreed. “But you guys don’t have to give him such a hard time. He’s just trying to do his job.”“No, he’s trying to throw his weight around”, Tobin said.“Yeah, this is our house, and he’s coming in like he owns the place. If he just treats us with some respect, we’ll be cool with him”, Christen said.“I get it”, Meghan said. She was silent for a moment and then said, “So what’s up with your partner? The young one.”“Morgan? Ooooo…she’s dangerous”, Christen said with a smirk. “Skilled at hand to hand combat.”“Now that’s a cowgirl", Tobin said. She paused for a moment, as though she was thinking, and then said, "I bet she’s wild in the sack.” Then she looked at Meghan. “Maybe you can find out. I think she likes you”, she said and smiled.Meghan smiled tightly and then said, “Now you guys are trying to give me a hard time.”Tobin laughed. “We’re just messing with you. But see, you took it a lot cooler than Mr. F-B-I guy, so we’re cool. You don’t have a bad attitude like he does.”“So, what’s our cover story?” Megan asked, changing topics as they neared the door to the bar.“Yeah, it’s kind of early to be drinking”, Christen said.“Hey, it’s five o’clock somewhere, right?” Tobin said. “Alright, let’s just say we’re looking for a place to get some breakfast. Now, pretend I’m telling a funny story”, she said as they reached the door. “Chris – you laugh, and Meghan – you say something like, “No way!” Tobin pushed open the door. Christen laughed and Meghan said, “No way!”“I’m serious, that really did happen!” Tobin exclaimed as they entered the bar, and the three women laughed. The bar was empty except for a woman who looked to be in her early thirties behind the bar. She looked up from washing glasses as the three women walked in.“Bar’s closed, ladies”, she said, in a slight accent.“Oh, sorry”, Tobin said. “The door was open.”“That doesn’t mean the bar is open”, the woman said.“Oh, okay. We’re just looking for a place to get some breakfast”, Christen said. “Do you know of any places around here-”“Sarah – they can stay”, a voice came. It had the same accent that the bartender had, but thicker. Tobin, Christen, and Meghan looked over and froze. Sitting at table near the back were Alice Ruger and Mack Van Nilsen.“Oh”, Christen said. “No, it’s okay, we understand you guys are closed. We’re just looking for a place to get something to eat.”“How about a drink instead?” Alice said, staring right at Christen.“Well, um…” Christen trailed off, looking at Tobin and Meghan.“It’s five o’clock somewhere, right? As you Americans are so fond of saying”, Alice said, still staring right at Christen. Tobin looked at Christen and then looked at Alice, and thought: that’s my line you just took, and that’s my…I don’t know…the girl I like, that you’re eyeballing.“Uh, I guess so”, Meghan said. She actually wanted to leave, but she didn't want to raise suspicion, so maybe they could stay for one drink, to make it look like they weren't bolting right out, and then leave right after. “Sure, why not? I mean, it’s not like we have anything else to do today”, she said and forced a smile on her face.“Um, yeah, okay”, Christen said, and flashed her brilliant smile at Alice. “I just need to use the restroom real quick first”, she said, then walked across the floor and into the restroom.Alice stared at Christen as she walked into the restroom, then stood up. “I’ll be right back”, she said and looked at Mack with a predatory smile.“Hey, c’mon – we have work to do”, Mack said with the same South African accent that Alice had. Her eyes followed Alice to the bathroom, and then she eyed the three newcomers warily. This was not a place that got a lot of randoms.Tobin peeked over and saw what looked like a map, or construction plans. She threw Meghan a sideways look and then slowly sauntered over towards the table. “Hi!” she said cheerfully. “Whatcha workin’ on?”“Hey, back up!” Mack snapped. She covered the map with a manila folder and stood up, her fierce eyes staring right at Tobin.“Whoa, hey, sorry. I was just…making conversation…being friendly. Didn’t mean to upset you”, Tobin said. She smiled at Mack and was just about to offer her a handshake in apology when Christen walked out of the bathroom in a hurry, Alice right behind her.“I’m sorry, I’m just not interested”, Christen said politely.“Wait, slow down, gorgeous”, Alice said, and grabbed Christen’s arm hard.“Hey!” Christen said and yanked her arm out of Alice’s grip.“Hey, what’s your problem?” Tobin said, walking up to Alice.“Well, aren’t you feisty, little hippie”, Alice said to Tobin, looking down on the detective.“Tobie, it’s okay”, Christen said. “Let’s just go.”“Leave her alone”, Tobin said to Alice, ignoring Christen.“What do you care?” Alice said back to Tobin. Then she looked at Christen, who was staring at Tobin, and then back at Tobin. “Ahhhh…I see…you fancy her.”“Wait, what?” Meghan said.“Guys, c’mon - let’s go. Tobie”, Christen said, reaching for Tobin’s arm.“Wait!” Mack shouted, still standing. She came out from behind the table and walked over to the group. “Who are you?” she asked, looking at Christen, Tobin and Meghan.“What?” Christen said innocently.“I said, who are you?” Mack said again, then turned to Alice, “Does this look like three random girls that just strolled in off the street?”Alice didn’t answer, just stared at Tobin instead. Tobin took a step closer to Alice and said, “Don’t ever touch her again.”“Or you’re gonna do what, luv?” Alice said, cocking her head.“C’mon, Tobie, I don’t need you to defend me, let’s just go”, Christen said.“Look, we’re gonna go. We don’t want any trouble”, Meghan said to Alice and Mack.“No, don’t fucking move”, Mack said in a hard voice. She stared hard at Christen, Tobin and Meghan, and then glanced over at Sarah, who had stopped washing glasses and was appraising the situation closely. “Who the fuck are you people?” she asked again, turning back to Christen, Tobin and Meghan, her eyes narrowing. “What do you want? Why are you here?”“Okay, look - we’re going to go”, Christen said, putting her hands up. “We’re very sorry to have bothered you today.” She looked at Meghan and then grabbed Tobin’s arm and turned around to leave, but Alice reached out and smacked Christen in the ass. “Hey!” Christen yelled again, whirling around.“You touch her one more time…”, Tobin said through gritted teeth, and started to move towards Alice, but Meghan grabbed her arm.Alice smirked at Tobin and then looked at Christen. “You like it rough, huh gorgeous? Well, you should ditch this short little runt and your hippie girlfriend and come back. I’ll rough you up real good”, Alice said, then smiled and blew Christen an air kiss.That was all Tobin could take. She broke from Meghan’s grip, reached back, and clocked Alice right in the face. Alice went down cursing, and Mack looked over at Tobin, Christen, and Meghan. “You motherfuckers!” she screamed, and then looked over at the bar. “Sarah!” she yelled, and then Sarah dipped down below the bar and came up with three guns in her hands.“Oh, shit!” Meghan said, backing up towards the door.Christen’s eyes went wide. She looked over at Tobin, who was still staring down at Alice’s, who was on the ground, clutching her nose. “C’mon Tobie, let’s go!” she yelled, then grabbed Tobin’s hand and pulled, and then she, Tobin and Meghan bolted out of the door, as the first gunshot rang out behind them. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Dax!” Meghan shouted as she, Tobin and Christen sprinted down the street.“What the-” Dax said, as he heard Meghan shout, then looked up and saw the three women running towards him. He grabbed his gun and stepped out of the car, but then froze when he saw Alice, Mack and Sarah exit the bar moments later, guns in hand. They opened fire as Tobin, Christen and Meghan neared the car. A bullet shattered the car window near his head. “Shit!” he said, and ducked behind the open car door, shaking.“Dammit!” Tobin growled as she saw Dax hiding behind the car door, obviously afraid to engage. A bullet whizzed by hear head, and she looked back at the three women shooting at them, then faced forward and kept running. They were only a hundred feet from the car. They needed to get their guns. Another bullet whizzed by her head, and she turned around again but then heard tires screech, so she turned back front, and saw Hope and Morgan racing up the street towards them in Hope’s car. Morgan leaned out the window and fired past Tobin, Christen and Meghan at Alice, Mack and Sarah, pausing the latter three in their tracks. Hope jammed on the breaks and then got out of the car.“Take cover!” Hope yelled as she drew her gun and fired. Christen, Tobin and Meghan dove behind Hope’s car. Morgan got out of the car and started firing as well. Alice, Mack and Sarah fired back, a hundred feet away.“God damn it!” Mack yelled. “Feds – I fuckin’ knew it!”“Fuck you coppers!” Alice yelled, squeezing off rounds.“C’mon, let’s go!” Sarah yelled. Alice and Mack fired a few more shots and then the three villains retreated into the bar.“We’re going in!” Hope yelled, then turned to Tobin and Christen. “Get your guns and follow us in. Moe - let’s go!” Hope yelled, and then she and Morgan took off towards the bar. Tobin, Christen and Meghan ran towards the Suburban, where Dax was still cowering behind the open car door. “C’mon!” Tobin yelled as she, Christen and Meghan grabbed their guns, and then started for the bar, with Dax reluctantly following behind. They got to the bar and came through the front door just in time to hear tires screech and see Hope run out the back door to the alley.“Damn”, said Morgan, who was at the back door, right behind Hope.“Fuck, they got away”, Hope said, coming back in.“License plate?” Christen asked.“Couldn’t get it”, Hope said, then looked around. “Everyone alright?”The room was silent for a moment with everyone nodding and catching their breath, and then Tobin said, “Glad you guys showed up when you did.”“Press texted us, ‘get here asap’. I assume you texted as soon as you saw that Ruger and Van Nilsen were here”, Hope said to Christen.“That’s why I went to the bathroom, to let Hope know”, Christen said to Tobin and Meghan, then turned back to Hope. "We were gonna leave right away, but Ruger told us to stay for a drink, and we didn't want to raise suspicion, so we stayed. I was gonna call, but then Ruger came in the bathroom after me, so I had to send a quick text.”Tobin smiled at Christen. “Quick thinking, Chris. Saved our asses. We didn’t have much backup otherwise”, she said, then glared at Dax.“What? They were firing…I was…pinned down”, Dax whined, still shaken. The truth was, he had never been in an actual fire fight. Seven years with the FBI, but most of it had been paperwork. He had always fantasized about being a field agent, in the thick of the action, but when it came right down to it, now that he’d had a taste of danger, he was scared stiff.Hope looked at Dax. She knew the truth, which was that her team took more physical risks than most federal agents in any branch. Tracking criminals on computers and through paper trails is one thing, but going out on the street and hauling in dangerous bad guys on a daily basis is another. She wanted to take a crack at him, but she could tell he was shaken up, so she remained professional and then looked at Tobin, Christen and Meghan. “So, what happened in here, that got those three chasing you guys down the street, shooting at you in broad daylight?”“Ruger went after Chris-Christen”, Tobin said.“What?” Hope asked.“Well, kind of”, Christen said. “She followed me into the bathroom when I went to call you. It wasn’t anything I couldn’t have handled, though.”“So how did that evolve into a firefight?” Hope asked.“See? That’s why I didn’t want anyone going in with guns”, Dax said righteously, trying to get back in the game.“Shut it”, Hope said to Dax, who started to open his mouth but then thought better of it and stayed silent. Hope stared at him hard for a moment and then said, “Toss this place, now.” Dax huffed but bowed his head and went off to start searching the bar, and then Hope turned back to Tobin and Christen. “So, what happened?”“Ruger grabbed Christen and then…” Tobin started.“And then what?” Hope prompted.“Tobie…” Christen said.“And then she smacked her ass”, Tobin said.“So…?” Hope prompted in a flat tone of voice.“I just…I didn’t like seeing that”, Tobin said.“So you started a firefight over that? Because some criminal who we’re trying to apprehend smacked your partner’s ass while you guys were undercover?” Hope asked. Then she turned to Meghan. “And where were you during all of this?”“I tried to get everyone to leave”, Meghan said.“It’s true, boss”, Tobin said. “It was my fault.”Hope stared at Tobin and then looked back at Meghan and said, “Go help Braveheart over there search this place.” Meghan nodded and started searching, and Hope turned back to Tobin. “So, Ruger grabbed Press’s ass, and then…what…?” she asked.Tobin was silent for a moment and then said, “I punched Ruger in the face.”“And then what?” Hope asked, already guessing what had happened.“Well, she went down, and then Van Nilsen started screaming at us, by the way, you should hear the mouth on this woman, and then Barker grabbed three guns from behind the bar, and then we ran”, Tobin said.“Okay, just so I am clear: upon learning that both Ruger and Van Nilsen were in the bar, you decided to punch Ruger in the face, instead of just leaving, going back to Meghan’s car, getting your guns, calling me and Moe, and then all of us could have gone back in together and taken them”, Hope said.Tobin sighed. “Yeah, I guess so. Look, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”Hope stared at Tobin. “Alright, we’ll talk later”, she said to Tobin. Then she looked at both Tobin and Christen. “Toss this place”, she said.“Check this out”, Meghan said, holding up what Mack had been looking at. “It’s the stolen construction plans for the gas line.” She spread it out on the bar and everyone crowded around.“Looks like it goes right underneath the Art Institute, The Shedd Aquarium, The Field Museum, and the Planetarium”, Hope said.“I’m still wondering why they wanted this”, Christen said.“I still think it may be an attack down in that area”, Meghan said.“But what’s valuable down there?” Tobin asked.“Well, there are works of art and museum-type stuff. Maybe something there that’s worth something?” Hope posited.“Maybe…” Meghan said.“Alright, look, let’s finish tossing this place and then get back to base”, Hope said. The team searched for another fifteen minutes and then packed it up. Meghan and Dax went in Meghan’s Suburban, and Christen and Tobin rode in the back of Hope’s car with Hope and Morgan up front. They rode in silence for a few minutes and then Christen looked over at Tobin.“Look, you really didn’t need to come to my rescue”, Christen said softly.“I didn’t do it to come to your rescue”, Tobin said. “I just don’t like seeing some animal all over you.”“I can take care of myself”, Christen said.“I know, Chris. I said I didn’t do it for you”, Tobin said, a little louder. Hope glanced into the rear view mirror for a moment, and Morgan looked over at Hope.Christen stared at Tobin for a moment, then reached over and took Tobin’s hand. “Well, thank you anyway, even though you didn’t need to”, she said, looking at Tobin with big eyes. Tobin looked back at Christen, then smiled slightly. **** “Fuck!” Mack shouted, kicking over a barrel. She, Alice and Sarah were in the warehouse.“Relax, we’re fine”, Alice said.“Three billion women in the world, and you had to go for that one? A fucking cop!?” Mack exclaimed.“Calm down! I’m your customer, and the customer is always right, remember?” Alice said, staring at Mack. “You are in my employ right now, so calm down.” Mack stared back but didn’t say anything, so Alice said, “Look, I didn’t know she was a cop. She looks too hot to be a cop.” She paused for a moment and then said, “I mean, did you see the ass and lips on that?” she said, smiling.“We’re planning a job, Ruger, not hunting skirts”, Mack said, seething, then ran her fingers through her hair.“Relax, they don’t know anything”, Alice said.“They probably tossed the bar. The map was sitting right on the fucking table”, Mack said.“They won’t get much from that.”“Even so”, Mack said. She paused for a moment and then said, “We need to move up the timetable. To tonight.”“Can we be ready that fast?” Alice asked.“I can be ready by this evening”, Mack said.“I’ll make some calls to arrange for early transport”, Sarah said.“Well, okay then – tonight it is”, Alice said and smiled. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- As soon as the team got back to the precinct Hope ordered Tobin into her office. “You guys”, she said, addressing Christen, Morgan, Meghan and Dax, “Figure out where Ruger, Van Nilsen and Barker are and what they’re up to next”, then she went into her office and slammed the door. “Talk to me, Heath”, Hope said, leveling her intimidating stare right at Tobin. “What’s going on with you and Press?”“What do you mean?” Tobin asked.“Lately you guys have started calling each other ‘Chris’ and ‘Tobie’. I know you two have spent at least one night together, last night. This morning, you stopped mid-explanation of how you knew that Lion’s Pub was a lesbian bar, like you were afraid to say anything about your ‘adventures’ there in front of Press. You punched Ruger in the face because you thought she was hitting on or threatening Press, and then on the way back here in my car, I heard Press telling you that she doesn’t need you to protect her, and then you saying that you didn’t do it for her, whatever the hell that means. So, I’m asking you again – what’s going on?”Tobin stared at Hope for a moment and then said, “I don’t know, boss. I mean…I think…maybe I like her.”Hope stared at Tobin. “I thought so. When did this start?”“I don’t know exactly. Sometime after Alex transferred.”“Does Press like you back?”“I don’t know. Maybe? I can’t tell for sure.”“Have you talked with her about it?”“No…not yet.”“You didn't talk last night when she spent the night at your place?” Hope asked. When Tobin didn’t say anything, Hope said, “Yeah, I know she spent the night at your place last night. She’s wearing the exact same clothes as she wore yesterday.”“Yeah, she did spend the night, and it was the first night she's spent over”, Tobin said. “I was really shaken up, and Chris-Christen was…comforting me.Hope stared at Tobin for a moment and then said, “Look, I don’t care what you guys do on your own time, and I get it – feelings can happen. And you know the official policy is for us not to have relationships with each other, but I don’t care if you do. Just as long as it doesn’t fuck with the job.” She stared at Tobin and then said, “You nearly got everyone shot today over some white-knight chivalry bullshit.” Tobin looked at Hope, but then lowered her gaze, so Hope said, “Hey, we’re here to protect each other, but we don’t need any cavalier behavior. Are we clear?”“Yeah, boss. Sorry.”“Alright. Now let’s go catch some bad guys”, she said, and held the door open for Tobin as the two of them went to join the others. **** “Well, that doesn’t look good”, Morgan said conspiratorially to Meghan, as she watched Hope ream Tobin through the window of Hope’s office. She and Meghan were at one end of the large table in the Strike Team area. Meghan looked up from some paperwork and smiled tightly at Morgan, then looked back down. Morgan stared at her for a moment. “So, what do you do when you’re not putting up with your annoying partner?” she asked, looking at Dax, who was at the other end of the table. Meghan looked back up at Morgan, and Morgan smiled charmingly.“I work on becoming the best agent I can be”, Meghan said.“Well okay then, Captain America. Oh wait - you're INTERPOL, so I guess that would be Captain International”, Morgan said. “So, what do you do in your spare time?”Meghan stared at Morgan for a moment, then asked, “Are you hitting on me, detective?”“Most likely”, Morgan said, and flashed another charming smile. “So, how long are you in town for?”“Until we close this case”, Meghan said.“And then…?”Meghan looked at Morgan for a second and then asked, “Do you want to ask me out, detective?”“Probably. And you should say yes. Look - this city has a ton of cool shit to do”, Morgan said. She grabbed a nearby Chicago Magazine and started flipping through it. “Walks on the lakefront, great food and bars, culture, like there’s a concert in Millenium Park tonight, the Art Institute has a Dali exhibit right now, the Field Museum has Treasures Of Africa, the Planetarium has-”“Wait, what did you just say?” Christen said, looking up from the construction plans that she was combing over.“What?” Morgan said.“Right now, when you were just rattling off options for where to take Ms. INTERPOL on a date. You were listing things to do in the city…” Christen said.“Oh, yeah – I just said walks on the lakefront, food, bars, concerts-”“You said something about treasure”, Christen reminded her.“Oh, right, the Field Museum has a Treasures Of Africa exhibit right now”, Morgan said.“Let me see that”, Christen said, walking over. She took the magazine and started reading aloud: “Behold riches from all over the African continent: diamonds, gold, ancient artifacts, and much, much more…” Christen looked up and said, “This is it.”“What?” Meghan said.“African treasure”, Christen said. “It has to be worth millions. I bet this is what Ruger and Van Nilsen are after.”“Maybe, but what would construction plans for a gas line have to do with stealing treasure?” Meghan asked. “This could still be a plot to set off an explosion, like they did in Barcelona last year at La Rambla.”“Maybe, but maybe not”, Christen said. She saw Hope and Tobin come out of Hope’s office. “Guys, check this out”, she said. Hope and Tobin approached, and Christen looked at Tobin. She looked like she had just taken a serious verbal lashing, and Christen was pretty sure she knew what it was over, but she chose not to mention it right now.“What’s up?” Hope asked.“We think we have a theory”, Christen said, and handed Hope the magazine.“Treasures Of Africa”, Hope said. “Field Museum.”“This could be what Valkyrie is after”, Christen said.“Maybe, but dead bodies could still be the M.O.” Meghan said. “I mean, why would you need plans for a gas line if you’re planning on stealing treasure?”“I don’t know”, Hope said. “But we need to consider both possibilities. Also, because we ran into Ruger and Van Nilsen today, they may be moving up their timetable, so we need to figure out what they’re up to, like now.”“Or they could have fled”, Dax said.“Maybe, but maybe not. Not everyone runs and hides at the first sign of trouble”, Hope jabbed, and Dax scowled but didn’t say anything.“Okay”, Meghan said, putting her hands up to stall any further jabs towards Dax. “So what’s the plan?”Hope thought for a moment and then said, “Let’s get to the museum now and scope it out. We need to inform their security team of these possible scenarios, and then we can start laying out plans.”“Wait, if we do that, we may spook Valkyrie into running before executing the job”, Dax said.“That’s true, but we can’t take the chance that the job is an explosion, being carried out today, and not act”, Hope said.“We can’t risk spooking Valkyrie”, Dax said.“I’m not gonna gamble that over the lives of thousands of people”, Hope shot back.“Boss – it’s gonna be the treasure”, Christen said.Hope stared at Christen. “How can you be so sure?”“What’s blowing up a museum in Chicago going to do for this group? They’re a pro-white terrorist group from South Africa, not jihadists from the Middle East. They don’t have a beef with the U.S. They need money. And they’re pro Africa. Why not steal treasure from Africa that’s sitting in a museum in the U.S. and bring it back home?” Christen theorized.“Chicago has a lot of minorities. This group is pro-white. Blowing up a museum with minorities in it would send a statement”, Hope said.“They’ll get white people too”, Christen said.“Yeah. There’s not as much benefit to an explosion as stealing millions of dollars of treasure”, Tobin interjected. “I think Chris is right.”Hope stared at Tobin, then nodded. She was still pissed at Tobin’s earlier behavior, but Tobin had a point. Then Hope looked at Morgan. “Moe?”“Could be either, I guess. I don’t know.”“Suits?” Hope addressed Meghan and Dax.“I think we need to cover both angles”, Meghan said, and Dax nodded.“Fine”, Hope said, then looked at her watch. It was just past 10am. “Let’s split up. You three”, Hope said, pointing to Morgan, Meghan and Dax, “get down to the museum now. Talk with their security team and let them know what’s up, but don’t push the panic button just yet. Call someone at the city and see if you can get more info on this gas line construction.” Then she turned towards Tobin and Christen. “You guys go home and get some rest. If this ends up being a heist, it could be way later tonight, in the wee hours of the morning. If it goes that way, then you guys will be on point, so I want you guys rested. I’ll call you if something moves.” Tobin and Christen nodded, and then Hope said, “I’m gonna call around and see if I can find out exactly how much this African treasure display is worth.” **** “You want to come in?” Tobin asked as Christen pulled up to her apartment.“Mmmm…no, I think I’m gonna head home until Hope calls”, Christen said.Tobin looked at Christen and then said, “Look, Chris – about earlier, I want to make sure you know that I know you can take care of yourself. I just…I just didn’t like seeing Ruger all over you.”“Tobie, it’s fine. As long as you know that I don’t need you to protect me.”“I know, Chris, and I told you that I didn’t do it for you.”“Then why’d you do it?”Tobin stared at her. “I did it because…I did it because I got jealous.” She looked at Christen and then exhaled. “I like you, Chris.”“You ‘like’ me?” Christen asked, raising her eyebrows.“Yeah. Like, more than a friend. And look, I know that’s kind of crazy, and I know that I’m hitting you with this out of left field, and I don’t know if you feel the same way towards me, and I know that me telling you may screw things up between us, but I hope it doesn’t, and I-”Christen leaned in and planted a soft kiss right on her lips. They stayed there for a moment, then Christen pulled back. “I like you too, Tobie. More than a friend”, she said and smiled. She stared at Tobin for a moment, then their faces moved closer and their lips met again in another kiss, this one longer and more heated than the first.“Chris”, Tobin said, pulling away from the kiss. “Please…come in…”Christen stared at Tobin, eyes smoldering, and then said, “Okay”, and the two women got out of Christen’s car and went into Tobin’s apartment. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Hey boss”, Morgan said into her phone.“I found out how much this treasure is worth”, Hope said. “Over two hundred million.”“What!?”“Yup. Serious money.”“No kidding. Well, on our end, we spoke with the museum security and gave them our two scenarios. Also, Ms. INTERPOL called the city. Wait, hang on, boss”, Morgan said, then covered the receiver. “No, I can tell her, just tell me…ugh”, Hope could faintly hear Morgan’s voice, and then a muffled sound like a phone exchanging hands.“Hey, it’s Klingenberg”, Meghan said into Morgan’s phone.“What’s up?” Hope said.“So, the gas line isn’t up and running yet, but they’ve been testing it at night”, Meghan said.“What does that mean, ‘testing it at night’?”“So, the gas is off during the day on this new line, but then they turn it on at night so they can run it through the line and make sure everything is okay before they integrate this new line into the existing gas line system.”“Okay, I get that. What else?”“Well, it’s a big line. It will be the main gas line into the south loop once it’s done”, Meghan said.“So a lot of gas goes through there, I’m guessing”, Hope said.“Yeah, I think so.”“But they only test it at night, so Valkyrie couldn’t use it for an explosion during the day, and the museum closes at 6pm. So no go on the explosion theory.”“Well, not now at least, but they could be waiting for the line to be complete before they carry out their attack”, Meghan said.“Well when’s that gonna be?”“Not for another week or two.”“Then why would they be here so far in advance?” Hope asked. “I mean, usually operatives carrying out a job like this won’t be on location any longer than they have to be.”“I don’t know, detective”, Meghan said.“Alright, well check this out – I found out how much this treasure exhibit is worth: two hundred million.”“Whoa”, Meghan said.“So I feel like a heist is still a possibility.”“Knowing that, I would agree, although I still don’t know why they would need the gas line plans”, Meghan said.“I don’t know either. Look, you guys can leave the museum, since the explosion theory seems like a no-go. Go get some rest. I’ll call later. Let’s plan to meet back at the precinct in the evening. I want to be back at the museum, all of us, before they turn on the gas line tonight”, Hope said.“Copy that”, Meghan said. She hung up, then looked at Morgan. “Sorry, I just thought it would be easier to explain that myself rather than pass it through you.”“I get that”, Morgan said. “So, can I have my phone back, or are you going to put your number in there first?” she said and smiled at Meghan slightly.Meghan started to hand Morgan her phone, then paused, brought it back to her own lips, and placed a light kiss on the screen. “Here you go”, she said with a slight smile. **** Tobin’s phone buzzed on her nightstand. She sat up and looked at the phone to see Hope’s name, then looked at the beautiful brunette sleeping beside her. After entering Tobin’s apartment they had gone straight for the bedroom, then had fallen asleep. Now it was late afternoon.“Heath”, Tobin answered.“You and Press may be right. It’s looking like the heist may be the likely scenario. I found out how much the African treasure is worth: two hundred million.”“What!?” Tobin practically screeched into the phone. Christen opened her eyes and rolled over.“Yeah. It’s a fortune. Still don’t know what the gas line is for, but Klingenberg called the city, and apparently they are in the testing stages for the line right now, so they are only running the gas at night.”“So no daytime explosion”, Tobin said.“Correct.”“Could the gas line somehow be used as part of an escape plan?” Tobin asked.“Like what?”“I don’t know, just…thinking…” Tobin trailed off.“Okay, well think your way over to the precinct. Moe and the suits left the museum a few hours ago but they are coming back to base now”, Hope said.“Okay, be there soon.”“Okay. And tell Press. I’m sure she’s right beside you”, Hope said.“Wait, what?”“You’re welcome for the afternoon together”, Hope said, then hung up.Tobin smiled slightly, practically hearing Hope’s smirk through the phone.“What’s going on?” Christen said, sleepily.“And good morning to you too”, Tobin said. Christen smiled, and then Tobin leaned over and kissed her. “Hope wants us down at the precinct. Apparently the daytime explosion didn’t happen, but she thinks the nighttime heist is still an option, so looks like we’re on tonight.” She looked at Christen and then said, “You were right”, then smiled.Christen smiled back but then pouted a bit. “Damn. Normally I like being right, but in this case, I wish I was wrong, so we could go back to bed”, she said, and then smiled.“Well, now we can get the best of both worlds: we can go bust some bad guys and then go back to bed”, Tobin said.Christen laughed. “You’re too much, Tobie”, she said.Tobin smiled at Christen and then planted another kiss on her lips. They stayed like that for another long moment and then Christen pulled back. “Wait – should I be expecting a call from Hope?” she asked.“No, she knows we’re together”, Tobin said. “Hope said, and I quote: “You’re welcome for the afternoon together.”Christen giggled and shook her head, and Tobin leaned in to kiss her. Christen engaged her for a moment but then pulled back.“C’mon, we gotta get dressed, or we’ll be late, and then Hope will really be pissed at you, more than she already is”, Christen said, and Tobin rolled her eyes. The two women got dressed and then jumped into Christen’s car. They drove in silence for a few minutes, and then Tobin said, “Hey, does it feel different to you?”“Does what feel different to me?” Christen asked.“Like, going out into the field right now. Like, this is the first time we’re going out into the field after we’ve talked about…us, you know?”“Yeah, I guess it does feel different, maybe”, Christen said.They drove in silence for a bit longer, both of them thinking. “Hey, Chris?” Tobin asked as they pulled up to the station.“Yeah?”“Just promise that you’ll be careful tonight.”“Of course”, Christen said. She paused for a moment and then said, “What’s up, Tobie?”“I feel like I’m more worried now about something bad happening to you.”“Tobie, I don’t need you to take care of me, remember?” Christen said.“I know, but…I guess it’s just the way that I feel now, or something. I mean, I like you, and now I know you like me, so now it feels like things are…I don’t know…different.”Christen glanced over at Tobin and then reached over and squeezed Tobin’s hand. “Things will be fine tonight, okay Tobie? I will be fine.” She squeezed Tobin’s hand again and then said, “And you be careful too, okay?”Tobin looked over at Christen as Christen parked the car, then leaned in and caught Christen with a tender kiss.” Of course”, she said. Christen smiled at her, and then the two women got out of the car. They went into the precinct and walked into the Strike Team area. The rest of the team was already gathered around the table.“Alright, here’s the deal”, Hope said. “The museum just closed. We’re gonna get down there and head right for the exhibit. Then we’ll split up in teams. We'll patrol all exits, regular check-ins. Got it?” The team nodded, but Hope saw Dax yawn. “You alright, Mr. FBI?”“Hey, some of you got to rest while we were at the museum”, Dax whined.“You weren't at the museum that long. Plus, Detective Brian was with you, and I don’t see her yawning”, Hope said. Then she turned to Meghan. “How about you, Ms. INTERPOL? You need to sit this one out, too?”“I work for INTERPOL, detective. We are used to working in different time zones at the drop of a hat. I’ll be fine”, Megan said with a polite smile.“Alright then, let’s roll”, Hope said. The Strike Team piled into Hope’s car, and Meghan and Dax took Meghan’s Suburban. They pulled up to the museum twenty minutes later and headed for the front entrance.“Wow, that’s beautiful”, Meghan said, as she stared at the downtown Chicago skyline bathed in the setting sun.“It sure is”, Morgan said. “Maybe if you stick around tomorrow we can take a walk together.”Meghan looked over. “Maybe, detective. Maybe”, she said, then flashed Morgan a small smile, turned around and followed Hope, Christen and Tobin into the museum. Morgan smiled back and followed Meghan into the museum, a worn-out Dax bringing up the rear. The security manager met them at the front and then escorted them to the exhibit near the center of the museum.“We can cover the exhibit and the east and west exits, which are the nearest escape points. We’ll need some guards covering the north and south exits”, Hope said.“It’s just me and three other guards on duty tonight”, the security manager said.“What?” Hope said back.“Just four of us tonight”, the security manager said.Hope stared at him. “You’ve got a two hundred-million-dollar exhibit here, and you’ve got four guards?”“Hey, this is a publicly funded museum. Budgets are tight. I’m lucky to have what I do”, the security manager said, then added, “Plus, no one’s ever stolen anything out of here.”“Well, I got a feeling that someone’s about to try”, Christen said.“Not if we can help it”, Tobin said, checking her gun.“Okay, here’s what”, Hope said. “Moe, Ms. INTERPOL – you guys patrol the perimeter on the west exit. Nutmeg, Press – east exit. Mr. FBI – you stay here with me. Everyone – keep your radio on channel 2.” Hope looked at everyone and said, “Stay alert. Now move.” **** “God, it’s almost midnight”, Tobin sighed, looking at her watch.“Stay focused, Nutmeg”, Hope said, as they two of them patrolled the west exit of the museum. The teams had been patrolling for the last six hours. Every hour they would meet back at the exhibit. Hope was rotating partners and assignments to keep everyone fresh. “Okay, let’s get back to the exhibit”, she said, then grabbed her radio. “Press.”“Copy”, Christen’s voice came. She was with the security manager. “All clear at the exhibit.”“Klingenberg”, Hope said.“Copy”, Meghan’s voice came. She was with Dax. “North exit is clear.”“Moe”, Hope said.“Copy”, Morgan said. She was with a security guard. “South is clear.”“East exit”, Hope said into her radio for the two security guards she had sent over there. No response. “East exit, come in”, Hope said. No response. “Shit”, Hope said. “Moe, I’m not getting a response from east exit. You’re closest. Get over there.”“Copy that”, Morgan said. “All patrols, be on aler-” Hope started, when she heard an explosion come from the other end of the museum, followed by an alarm. “What the hell was that?” she said.“Sounded like C4”, Tobin said.“Moe!” Hope yelled into the radio. “Explosion, sounds like it came from the east exit.”“I heard it boss, we’re on our way”, Morgan said.“Klingenberg”, Hope said.“We heard it too, east exit, on our way”, Meghan said.“Press”, Hope said.“Copy, we heard it too”, Christen said.“Stay at the exhibit, Press. We’re gonna check it out, then come back to you”, Hope said, then signed off and looked at Tobin. “Let’s go, Nutmeg”. **** “Shit”, the security manager said. He checked his weapon and then started for the east exit.“Hey, where are you going?” Christen asked.“To the east exit”, the security manager said.“We’re supposed to stay here”, Christen said.“My men are over there”, the security manager said. “I’m going.”“We’ve got teams going over there. Stay here.”“My men went down, and I’m gonna find who did this!” the security manager yelled, bravado in his voice.“Hey, listen! If Ruger and Van Nilsen are here, where do you think they’re coming next, huh?” Christen said, motioning to the treasure in the glass case.The security manager looked at Christen. “Whatever. You can stay here. I’m going”, he said, then turned around and ran out of the room.“Hey, stop!” Christen said and ran after him. He was about twenty feet ahead of her. She saw him run around the corner into a corridor and then heard two pops. She froze and drew her gun, then slowly inched around the corner, her gun leading the way. “Hey”, she said quietly, then froze. The security manager was lying on the ground, blood seeping out of his head from two gunshot wounds. “Shit”, Christen said, and started to reach for her radio when she felt a solid whack on the back of her head, and then her world went black. **** “Boss”, Morgan’s voice came over the radio. “We just got to the east exit. Looks like someone blew out the door. The two guards are down.”“Shit. Okay, stay put”, Hope said, then radioed Meghan. “Klingenberg”, she said into her radio.“Copy”, Meghan said.“The two guards at the east exit are down. You and Dax get over there with Morgan and her guard”, Hope said, then radioed Christen. “Press”, she said. No answer. “Press”, Hope said again.“What’s going on?” Tobin said, looking at Hope.“Press isn’t responding”, Hope said, then tried the radio again. “Press, come in”, Hope said. She waited for another moment. “No answer.”“Oh no…” Tobin said, worry starting to creep into her.“Let’s go”, Hope said, and was just about to turn on her heels, when her radio went off.“Press?” Hope answered.“Hello, coppers”, a female voice with a South African accent said.Hope looked at Tobin, whose face went white as a ghost. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Ruger?” Hope said.Alice laughed, a chilling laugh. “Come to the exhibit, darlings. We’ve done some renovating. I think you will find it…interesting, to say the least”, she said, then the radio went dead.“Oh my God”, Tobin said.“It’s okay, Nutmeg. I’m sure Christen is fine", Hope said, then put her hand on Tobin's shoulder. "We’re going to get her back", she said, and then she and Tobin made their way towards the exhibit area. They crept up to the entrance and then came into the exhibit room with their guns leading the way. And froze. In the room were Alice, Mack, Sarah and Christen. Mack and Sarah were armed with machine guns. They were pointing them right at Christen. Alice was holding Christen, who was wearing a bondage style vest that bound her arms behind her, to which was connected a bomb with a timer. A ball gag was in Christen's mouth, wires running from it down to the bomb. The treasure was gone from the case.“Hello, coppers”, Alice said, smiling. She was standing behind Christen, holding her with one hand, her other hand stroking Christen’s hair.“Let her go, Ruger!” Hope yelled.“Like this contraption?” Alice asked with a wicked smile, motioning to the vest. “I think it’s sexy.” “Put down your guns!” Tobin yelled. “It’s okay, Chris”, she said. A muffled reply came from Christen behind the ball gag.“Awwww, it’s okay baby”, Alice purred, stroking Christen’s hair. She planted a gentle kiss on Christen’s cheek and then looked at Tobin. “You should have seen how excited she got when we strapped her in the vest. I think she likes the kinky stuff”, she said, then slapped Christen hard on the ass. Christen yelped through the gag.“God damn it, let her go!” Tobin yelled.“And what are you gonna do, huh copper?” Alice spat. “You gonna shoot me? You shoot me, we shoot gorgeous right here. Maybe you’ll get us, maybe you won’t. But either way, she’ll die. Are you willing to risk that?”“Shit”, Tobin swore. She was right. They couldn’t fire, or they would shoot Christen. She looked at Christen and thought, I wish I could trade places with her right now. Christen might actually be able to get off three shots before anyone else could return fire. And there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to be in her position right now, if it meant getting her out of harm’s way.“What do you want?” Hope yelled.“We already got what we want. Two hundred million dollars worth of treasure”, Alice said. “Our treasure, from our land. We’re taking it back home.”“The treasure is on loan from the United African Nations Council. It’s not like the United States stole it”, Hope said.“But you did!” Alice yelled. “You did steal it! America steals everything, everywhere! And for what!?” Alice glared at Hope and Tobin. “This country was supposed to be the greatest hope for white people in the world, and what have you done? Allowed your country to be overrun with minorities. This whole fucking country deserves to die!”Mack looked at Alice and then smiled. “Great acting”, she said, then turned back to Hope and Tobin. “Well, not totally, you guys certainly have fucked this country to shit, but what we really want is the money. Two hundred million should buy us the militia we need, don’t you think?” she smirked.“You people are fucking insane”, Tobin said, shifting her gun between Alice and Mack.“Listen to me”, Hope said. “There’s no way you’re getting out of here. Backup is on its way, and we’ll have this place surrounded in four minutes.”“Perfect!” Alice yelled. “When the bomb goes off in eight, all of you will die!”“That’s C-4”, Tobin said, looking at the vest. “The blast radius won’t go beyond this room. So how are you going to blow up-” she started to ask, but then stopped when it hit her.Alice stared at Tobin as a small smile crept across her face."No..." Tobin gasped.“Does anyone else smell gas?” Mack asked, also smiling.“Shit”, Hope said. “That’s why you stole the plans for the gas line."“Always need an escape plan”, Alice said smugly.“No”, Hope said. “You don’t need to do this. You got what you wanted. Why do you need to blow everything up?” If the C-4 went off, the explosion would reach the gas line right underneath the building. If that happened, the gas would carry the explosion throughout the whole south loop area, starting with the museum. Everyone in a mile radius would burn.“Well, when you steal two hundred dollars, you can just disappear”, Alice said. “When you steal two hundred million, people will find you.”“Unless they think you’re already dead”, Mack said, hoisting her barrel up a bit closer towards Christen’s head, to make the point.“And with the size of this explosion, there’s no way anyone will think we made it out alive”, Alice said. “I mean, no one else in this square mile will”, she said and smiled.Hope stared at Alice, Mack and Sarah, and then said, “Last chance. Let her go, put down your weapons, and you can walk out alive.”Alice laughed. “Really, copper? We’re walking out alive anyway. You’ll have eight minutes to disarm this bad boy. Maybe you can evacuate the area by then. Maybe you’ll even be able to save this one here too”, she said and stroked Christen’s hair again, “although I doubt it. But regardless, we’ll be long gone, sailing away into the distance.”“C’mon, let’s go”, Mack said to Alice.Alice looked over at Mack, then back at Tobin and Hope. “Well, I guess we’d better be off”, she said, then put her mouth to Christen’s ear. “Too bad we didn’t get to know each other a little better, luv”, she said, then kissed Christen softly on the cheek, and then bit her hard on the neck. Christen squirmed, and then Alice pushed a button on the timer panel on Christen’s vest and then backed off, gun pointed at Christen. Then she, Mack and Sarah backed out of the room. As soon as they left, Hope and Tobin ran up to Christen.“Chris”, Tobin said to Christen. She wanted so badly to hug Christen, but then thought better of it.“Can you disarm this?” Hope asked Tobin.Tobin examined it for a moment, the professional in her kicking in, and then said, “Yeah, I think so.” Then she looked into Christen’s eyes. “No, I know so. I can disarm this.”“Okay, I need to get everyone out of here, and then we gotta call Metro and tell them to start evacuating the area”, Hope said. Then she looked at the timer. Seven minutes and counting down.“Go”, Tobin said to Hope. “Get everyone to safety. I got this.”Hope stared at Tobin for a moment and then nodded, then pulled out her radio. “Moe”, she said.“Copy”, Morgan said.“We found Ruger, Van Nilsen and Barker in the exhibit room”, Hope said. “They stuck Press in a bomb vest rigged with C-4. Tobin’s going to try to disarm it, but if it goes off, the explosion will hit the gas line, and it’ll nuke the whole south loop. Get everyone out of here now. Tell Klingenberg to contact the city, have them shut off the gas line now, and then call Metro and put out an alert, start closing down streets, etc.”“Copy that”, Moe said. “Where are Ruger, Van Nilsen and Barker?”“They escaped, but I’m gonna try and find out where they went. Be in touch”, Hope said. She signed off, then looked at Tobin. “Last check – you okay?”“We’ll be fine”, Tobin said. “Go.” Hope nodded and left, then Tobin turned to Christen. “Baby – look at me”, Tobin said. “We’re going to get you out of this.” She looked at the timer. Six minutes left.Christen mumbled through the gag. She also registered that Tobin had just called her ‘baby’.“Okay, just hold still”, Tobin said, studying the rig. “C-4 compound, timer detonator…” She looked for another moment and then said, “Okay, I think I got it. This is rigged with sequential wiring. As long as I disable the wires in the correct order the bomb should be neutralized.” She looked at Christen and said, “We’re going to start with the gag first.” She took out a pair of wire cutters that she always carried and cut the wire on the left first, then the wire on the right, then she reached around and removed the ball gag from Christen’s mouth. Christen gasped, and Tobin cupped her cheeks and planted a kiss on her lips.“Babe”, Christen gasped.“It’s okay, baby”, Tobin said, registering that Christen had just called her ‘babe’, then looked at the timer. Five minutes left. “Just hold still”, she said, then started cutting wires. She got through about half of them, when the next one she cut made the timer speed up double.“Oh no”, Tobin said.“What?”“The timer…just sped up…double.”“Oh my God”, Christen said.Okay, okay”, Tobin said, taking a couple deep breaths. She looked at Christen, who looked panicked, and said, “Hey – I’m gonna get us out of this, okay?” she said, and smiled slightly at Christen. Christen, despite herself, smiled slightly back. Tobin leaned in and gave Christen a quick kiss, and then went back to studying the wires. She cut, studied, cut, studied, then looked at the timer. Two minutes. “Okay, there’s only four wires left, but these are the hardest ones”, Tobin said. “Ready?”“Ready”, Christen said. She nodded nervously, and then gave Tobin a quick kiss. “Good luck”, she said.Tobin smiled slightly and then cut the first wire. Nothing happened, but as she cut the second wire, the timer sped up to counting down in increments of ten seconds.“Oh my God”, Tobin said.“Babe, it’s just two more wires”, Christen said. “You can do this.”“Okay, here we go”, Tobin said. She took one last look at the wires and then cut the second to last one. The timer continued to count down in increments of ten seconds. She cut the last wire as they were two (twenty) seconds away from detonation. “Oh my God”, Tobin said, and exhaled.“Baby, you did it”, Christen breathed out. Tobin helped her out of the vest, and then wrapped her in a big hug.“Chris…” Tobin said, holding Christen tight and breathing in Christen’s scent, tears welling up in her eyes.“Tobie…” Christen said, tears welling up in her eyes as well. She held Tobin tight for another moment and then pulled back and looked into Tobin’s eyes. “Thank you, for…you know…saving me”, she said.Tobin looked back into Christen’s eyes. “Anytime, baby”, she said, then planted the softest kiss on Christen’s lips. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Hey, you guys okay?” Hope asked. She, Morgan, Meghan, and Dax had reconvened at the Metropolitan Police Station, colloquially known as “Metro”, a mile away from the museum. Tobin and Christen had just strolled in after leaving the museum.“Yeah, we’re fine”, Christen said. “Thanks to my hero”, she said, partly jesting but mostly serious, then looked at Tobin.“Nice work, Nutmeg”, Hope said. “Thanks”, Tobin said. “So, what’s the latest?”“Gas has been shut off”, Meghan said.“Roads have been shut down”, Hope said. “Working on clearing the area still, just in case.”“Any sign of our Ruger, Van Nilsen and Barker?” Christen asked.“No”, Hope said. “But they couldn’t have gotten far. They set the timer on that bomb for eight minutes. It would have taken two minutes to get out of the museum and into a car, so that means only six minutes of drive time-”“I think I know where they’re going”, Christen said, interrupting Hope.“Where?” Hope asked. "And how?"“Burnham Harbor. It’s just over a mile south of the museum. It’s the closest harbor just outside of the explosion radius, if the bomb had actually gone off and hit the gas line”, Christen said.“Ruger did say, ‘Sailing off into the distance’, didn’t she?” Tobin remembered.“Yeah, she did”, Hope said, then nodded. “It makes sense. They can take a boat out of the harbor and up Lake Michigan into Canada – Windsor, Ontario, whatever, and then jumping a plane to South Africa.” She looked at the team and said, “We’re only a mile and a half away from the harbor. Let’s get over there now.” The team jumped in the cars and sped over to the harbor. The parked at the entrance and walked up the main dock on foot. The lights were low and the harbor appeared to be void of activity, except for one ship at the end of the dock. Hope put up a fist and the team crouched down behind a short wall.It was a small cargo ship, maybe a hundred fifty feet in length. Half a dozen men walked the deck, machine guns in hand. Mack and Sarah were carrying crates up the walkway onto the ship, guns slung over their shoulders. A moment later Alice strode up the walkway, armed as well.“Alright, everyone ready?” Hope asked. Everyone nodded. “Okay, let’s go, and be careful”, Hope said, then rose to her feet. “Freeze!” she shouted.Alice looked up. The damn coppers. “Shit!” she swore, then opened fire. Mack and Sarah whirled around, dropped the crates they were carrying and opened fire too, backing up the rest of the walkway. Then the men on the deck opened fire as well, as the law team scrambled towards the ship, firing back. Two of the men went down. Tobin reached the walkway first and started up.“Heath, wait!” Hope yelled, but Tobin was already up the walkway. “Shit!” she swore, then started up after her. “Cover us!” she yelled to the rest of the group, then started up as well. Hope reached the top of the walkway and jumped onto the ship. She pivoted and saw a man who squeezed off three rounds just as Hope was able to duck behind a column. Hope returned fire, hitting him twice in the chest. He went down, and Hope walked over to him. She kicked his weapon away from him, just as she heard the rest of the group reach the top of the walkway. “Dax, you’re with me", Hope said. "The rest of you - spread out. Find Ruger and Van Nilsen, and find Heath.” **** Tobin was moving towards the aft deck when she heard commotion. She whipped around a corner. A man was coming towards her. She fired twice and put him down, then flinched as a bullet pinged a pipe just above her head. She whirled around and saw Mack lower her weapon and duck behind a pole. “Shit!” Tobin swore and headed in Mack’s direction. Mack fired back but missed, then turned and ran down a hallway. Tobin ran after Mack and saw her round a corner. She followed suit, but slowed when she reached the corner. She counted silently to three, then swung her gun around the corner. Mack was there, and slashed at Tobin’s arm with her butterfly knife. Tobin yelped and dropped her gun, and then Mack came at her again.“I’m gonna carve up your face, bitch”, Mack spat, this time her knife slicing towards Tobin’s face. Tobin grabbed Mack’s knife hand with both of her hands, and Mack, with her free hand, began throwing body punches to Tobin’s mid-section. Tobin yelped in pain with each blow, but held onto Mack’s knife hand, and, using her leverage gained with both hands, twisted the knife out of Mack’s hand, and then delivered a solid palm strike right to Mack’s nose. Mack cursed and then tried to kick Tobin in the stomach, but Tobin dodged the kick, charged in, picked Mack up and plowed her through a door that lead out onto the aft deck. The door splintered and both women went down, Tobin on top of Mack, and then Tobin rained down three solid punches to Mack’s head. Mack tried to grab Tobin in her guard and maneuver a choke hold, but Tobin passed Mack’s guard. She grabbed Mack’s hair, pulled her head up six inches off of the deck, and then rained down a vicious forearm strike that broke Mack’s jaw and sent the back of Mack’s head bouncing off of the deck. Mack groaned and then laid still, eyes still staring at Tobin.“You should watch your mouth”, Tobin said. She pushed off of Mack and was about to stand up when she heard a slide rack, and Alice’s voice say, “Hello, hippie cop.” **** “Shit!” Morgan said as a bullet whizzed by her head. Meghan returned fire. She hit the man who was shooting at them, and he went down. She walked towards the body and was almost there, when the butt of an MP-5 struck her in the side of the head. She went down, and out stepped Sarah from behind a pole, gun trained on Meghan.“Drop it, luv”, Sarah said to Morgan. “Drop it, or I’ll pump this little cutie full of lead.” Morgan stared at her for a moment, then looked at Meghan, who looked barely conscious and was groaning on the ground, then looked back at Sarah. She sighed and dropped her gun. “Good girl”, Sarah said. She turned her gun towards Morgan, but as she did, Meghan kicked up her legs and kicked Sarah in the kneecap. “Ow!” Sarah yelped, then turned her gun back to Meghan. “What th-” she started to say, but as she turned, Morgan charged Sarah and brought her to the ground. Sarah’s gun went clattering down the walkway, and Sarah went clamoring after it, but Morgan jumped on top of Sarah, in the mounted position, caught Sarah in a rear naked choke and applied the pressure. She squeezed and felt Sarah’s strength fail, and was about to get off of her when she heard running. She looked up to see another man was running towards them, gun raised. Morgan started to let go of Sarah and go for her gun, which was five feet behind her, when she heard a pop-pop and saw the man fall. She looked at the man and then looked back and saw Meghan, still on the ground, still not fully conscious, with her gun in her hand, barrel smoking.“Nice shot”, Morgan said, breathing heavy.“Nice…mount”, Meghan breathed out, and then slipped into unconsciousness. **** “Freeze! Hope said as she ran after a man with a gun, Dax right on her heels. The man turned around and fired, the bullet whizzing over Hope’s head. Hope fired back. She hit the man in the back twice, and he fell to the ground. Hope slowed to a walk, keeping her gun trained on him. She reached him and checked his pulse, then turned to Dax. “He’s dead”, she said, and saw Dax nod his head, then his eyes went wide. In an instant, Hope realized what was happening, and she started to whirl around and raise her gun, but she was too late. A sharp, intense pain enveloped her right shoulder, and she went down screaming. She closed her eyes in pain and heard more shots, and the last thing she remembered before going dark was Dax crouching over her, his mouth moving, but she couldn’t hear anything. **** “Get down on your knees, copper”, Alice said to Tobin. Tobin scowled at her but did as instructed. Alice got right behind Tobin and said, “There we go. Right where I want you.”“You’re not gonna get away”, Tobin said.“Maybe not. But maybe so. But either way, you’ll never know, because you’re gonna die right now”, Alice said. She leveled the barrel of her gun right against the back of Tobin’s head, and Tobin shuddered.God damn it, not this again, Tobin thought.Alice laughed and prodded the back of Tobin skull with her gun, then said, “And after I kill you, I’ll pay your gorgeous girlfriend a visit, maybe the night of your funeral. Think what a day that will be for her”, Alice said.“Go to hell”, Tobin said.“Eventually”, Alice said. “But you first. Shall we count down the remaining seconds of your life together? Ready? Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, o-””BANG BANGTobin heard Alice fall and then looked up. There was Christen, gun smoking. Alice was on the ground. Christen had shot her twice in the head. Tobin stared at Christen, who walked up to Alice, gun still pointing at her.“No one threatens my girl”, Christen said to Alice.“Chris”, Tobin said, and gently directed Christen’s gun hand down. She smiled at Christen and then gently kissed Christen’s hand. Then she looked at Alice, who was on her back, staring lifelessly at the sky, and said, “Looks like you’re going to hell first.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Hey there”, Dax said as he knocked on the door. It was the next day, mid-afternoon.“Hey”, Hope said, opening her eyes. She sat up in the hospital bed, wincing as she did.“How are you feeling?”“Like hell”, Hope said.Dax smiled tightly. “Well, sorry to barge in. I know you got out of surgery last night and are not supposed to have visitors yet, but I just wanted to say goodbye before I left. My flight’s in a few hours.”“Thanks”, Hope said. “And thanks…for saving me. You really came through.” After shooting the man who had shot Hope, Dax had helped Hope off of the ship, then had called for a medic. Hope had been taken to Cook County Hospital, and they had operated on her right away. Fortunately the bullet had made a clean exit. Hope was expected to make a full recovery.“You’re welcome”, Dax said, then paused for a moment. “It was…exciting. But I think I prefer something not as exciting. If we ever work together again, I think I'll let you guys do the heavy lifting”, he said and then smiled tightly.Hope smiled tightly back. “Well, thanks again. And if you’re ever in town, feel free to look us up.”Dax’s smile brightened a bit. “Will do. And sorry again to barge in. Like I said, I know you’re not supposed to receive visitors yet”, Dax said, then smiled a bit wider. “But I believe there is at least one more visitor here who wants to see you. I met her in the hall outside.” He smiled even wider and then opened the door.“Hey baby”, Hope said and smiled as her girlfriend Kelley O’Hara rushed in the room.“Baaaabe!” Kelley exclaimed. She had come to the hospital last night as soon as she had heard that Hope had been shot, and she hadn’t left. She ran to the bed and hugged Hope, who winced. “Oh my God – sorry!” she said, pulling back.“It’s okay, baby”, Hope said, taking Kelley’s hand. “Baby – this is Special Agent Dax McCarty. He saved my life. Dax – this is my girlfriend Kelley.”“Oh my God – thank you!” Kelley said, smiling at Dax.Dax smiled back. “Nice to meet you Kelley”, he said. “You have a fine woman.”“Thanks”, Kelley said, then looked at Hope. “I know”, she said and smiled.Dax smiled and then said, “I’d better get moving.”“Safe travels”, Hope said, then paused for a moment and said, “Where’s Klingenberg – isn’t she leaving with you?”Dax looked at her for a moment and then said, “No, she’s staying here in Chicago…at least for tonight”, he said, then smiled slightly, turned around and left. ****** Tobin, Christen and Morgan were at the precinct in the Strike Team area, finishing up paperwork. It was the next day, late afternoon.“Any word on with Hope?” Tobin asked the other two.“She’s still in the hospital recovering”, Meghan said, walking up. “I just spoke with Dax. He went to see her a bit ago.”“Wait – Dax went to see Hope before we did?” Christen asked.“Yeah. Hope’s not supposed to have visitors yet, but Dax’s flight is leaving in an hour, so he wanted to say goodbye before he left.”“That was nice of him”, Tobin said, then paused for a moment and looked at Meghan. “Wait – you’re not flying out with him?”Meghan stared at Tobin for a moment and then looked at Christen.” Nooooo…I’m going to stay for the night”, she said with a small smile, then looked at Morgan.“Ahhhh…I see”, Tobin said, then smiled. “Cowgirl wrangled you into a date, huh?” she said, looking at Morgan, who smiled slightly.“What are you guys gonna do?” Christen asked.“Have dinner and then take it from there”, Morgan said.“I’m fine with anything, as long as Detective Brian doesn’t take me to a museum”, Meghan said, and everyone laughed.“Well, you guys have fun”, Christen said, then looked at Morgan. “Tobie and I can finish up the paperwork.”“Thanks guys”, Morgan said, then looked at Meghan. “Shall we?” she asked, smiling.“We shall”, Meghan said, smiling back at Morgan, then turned to Tobin and Christen. “It was nice working with you guys”, she said.“Nice working with you as well”, Christen said, and Tobin nodded.“Thanks, and I’ll try to catch Hope before I leave”, Meghan said.“When’s that gonna be?” Tobin asked.Meghan stared at her for a moment and then looked at Morgan. “I guess that depends upon how tonight goes”, she said.“Well alrighty then”, Tobin said with a smirk.“Don’t screw it up”, Christen said to Morgan with a smile.Morgan smiled back, then put her hand on Meghan’s back and lead her out.“They’re cute together”, Christen said.“Yeah, I suppose so”, Tobin said.“Whatever. They’re cute together, babe”, Christen said, and playfully scowled at Tobin, who stuck her tongue out back at Christen. Christen playfully glowered at Tobin for a moment and then asked, “So, what do you want to do tonight?”Tobin looked at her and then said, “I know what I want to do tonight”, with a smirk.“Crass”, Christen said, lowering her gaze at Tobin.Tobin laughed lightly and took Christen’s hands. “No seriously, anything that doesn’t involve bombs or guns sounds good.”Christen smiled. “Sounds good to me too. Your place or mine?”“How about yours this time? It’s closer”, Tobin said and then smiled slightly. “Plus, I haven’t broken in your bed yet.”“Crass again”, Christen said and let go of Tobin’s hands.“You love it”, Tobin said and batted her eyes.“Whatever”, Christen said. She tried to hold back a smile but couldn’t.“C’mon”, Tobin said. She took Christen’s hands again and then planted a soft kiss on Christen’s lips. “Let’s go. We can finish up this paperwork tomorrow.”Christen looked into Tobin’s eyes, then looked at the paperwork, and then looked back into Tobin’s eyes. “Alright, Nutmeg – lead the way”, she said, and then followed Tobin as they walked out of the station.
10467765	Hidden Desire	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Iron Bull, Dorian Pavus, Varric Tethras", "Fandom": "Dragon Age: Inquisition", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by Iva_Yaritza", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-27T00:00:00", "words": "494", "Additional Tags": "Mild Sexual Content, Some Humor, Drabble, My First AO3 Post", "Relationship": "Iron Bull/Dorian Pavus", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Hidden Desire Warm breath caressing the side of his neck. Rain and mud sliding between heated bodies, making clothes stick to their skins. A big hand trapping his wrists against the hard wood of a tree. The other running up and down his robes with fiery passion. Harsh fingers gripping the silky cloth, ripping it from his body, in a hurry to get it out of the way. These big muscled hands could tear those robes off while you struggled, helpless in my grip. He tries to struggle, to free his hands and get away from that savage. To maintain the little bit of pride he still has. That's not what he really wants, however. He wants to stay, to surrender. He wants to lose control over his own mind and just feel, just live the moment without care. So, he just let it all go… I'd pin you down, and as you gripped my horns, I would conquer you. He lets the warrior drag him to ground. And there, in the damp grass, he lets the Qunari brute dominate him. He drowns into the feeling of strong but gentle hands, of fierce kisses and powerful thrusts. He grabs his captor by the horns in utter abandon. It was messy and naughty and all kinds of hot. And it felt SO RIGHT… "…rkler. HEY! Sparkler! Wake up already! We need to get going."Dorian wakes with a jerk, not exactly sure where he was or what was going on. He looks around the tent before letting his eyes focus on Varric crouched by the entrance. Then it all fell in place. The Inquisitor decided to make an incursion through the Hinterlands and chose Varric, Dorian and The Iron Bull as hers companions."I see you're finally awake. We'll be leaving soon, so you better get yourself pretty fast. Should I send Tinny to help you out with that?"It took a moment for the mage to understand what the dwarf meant. Since the topic of his recent dream had been slightly stimulating, he now supported quite an impressive bulge under his covers. At this realization, his cheeks turn pink and he averts his eyes."And why do you believe HIS help would be appreciated? I may have run from Tevinter, but that doesn't mean I have sank so low as to entertain a barbaric Qunari in my bed. For the love of Maker, I AM an altus.""Whatever you say, Sparkler. But don't think you fool me. If it helps, I can guarantee that Tinny has being polishing quite some staffs while thinking of you. My tent is right beside his, after all.""Get out of my sight! Now!"As Varric moved away from the tent, Dorian let his body fall back on the blankets. Pieces and bits of his dream popping back into his mind."Me, Dorian Pavus, desiring the touch of a brute. A Qunari, no less… Wouldn't Father just love it?!"
10475499	How to Lose a Winning	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Adam (Disney), Belle (Disney), Mrs. Potts (Disney)", "Fandom": "Beauty and the Beast (2017)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by emjee (MerryHeart)", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-28T00:00:00", "words": "3,075", "Additional Tags": "Still here in the trash can, Glad you're all here with me, Smut, bookish smut, True Love, Shakespeare", "Relationship": "Adam/Belle (Disney)", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "Nature Points the Way, So Much Left to Say", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	It started, as so many things around his castle did, with Belle and a book. It was only a few days after their summer wedding, and even though they’d spent most of those days locked in a bedroom enjoying each other, Adam found the sight of his wife—his wife!—with her nose in some leather-bound volume to be both incredibly arousing and rather frustrating.It was hard to kiss her with all that paper in the way, after all.So when he found her on a bench in the rose garden, completely absorbed in metaphysical poetry, he decided to see exactly how much fun he could have.“There you are, sweetheart,” he said as he approached, seating himself beside her and pressing a kiss to her neck.“Mm,” she replied by way of greeting.He took the hand that was resting in her lap and traced the veins of her wrist, then skimmed his fingers over her palm.“I’m going to need that in a minute.”He didn’t release her hand, instead winding an arm around her shoulder and reaching for the corner of the page she was on. “Tell me when.”She nodded and he turned the page, then ran his hand down her side to rest on her hip. He gave a squeeze and buried his face in her neck. “Missed you earlier.”“So I surmised,” she said with a wry smile, leaning into him but still directing most of her attention to the book.Apparently he did not win the game until the book was gone. Preferably thrown to the ground in a fit of passion.“I thought we could eat on the terrace tonight,” Adam murmured, taking her earlobe between his teeth. He heard her sigh and ran his tongue along the curve of her ear. The last time they’d been on the terrace she’d kissed and touched and teased him until he took her up against the wall. He still had scratch marks on the back of his neck. “Or I could eat right now.” Her breath hitched; he disentangled his hand from hers and began to run his hand up her thigh.“I suppose you could,” Belle said, her voice too tight to pass for nonchalant.“I would, of course, request your undivided attention.” He bit her neck softly and heard her slam the book closed.Victory.“Where?” she asked, eyes bright.“Over here.” He pulled her up from the bench and lead her to a patch of grass beneath a towering rosebush. “We’re in a labyrinth. No one should see.”“Considering I practically begged you to make love to me on a terrace in plain view, I think it’s fair to say most of my capacity for shame has evaporated.” She reclined in the grass, pushing herself up on her elbows and tilting her face to the sun.“It was dark,” Adam said as he knelt between her feet. “And there’s no one around for miles. Also, while it’s quite sweet of you to say we made love the other night, that’s not quite the word I would have used for it.”He cherished the small frown of confusion that formed between her brows. She was so brilliant he rarely ever saw it. “What would you call it, then?”He traced his thumbs around her ankles before reaching under her skirts to untie the drawstring of her bloomers. “Fucking.”Her groan at his coarse language turned into something deeper as he pulled her bloomers off and hooked her legs over his shoulders, breathing warm air over her thighs. “You’re a wicked man.”“Aren’t you glad you married me?”“Beyond measure.”“And you said your capacity for shame has evaporated?”“Apparently.”“Good.” He set his mouth to the coarse curls between her legs. “You,” he breathed, between long licks that drove every last thought from her mind, “are brilliant…and kind…the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met…” He felt her reach down and curl her fingers in his hair. “And the most strong willed.” He flicked his tongue against her clit and relished the desperate noise she made. “You’re utterly magnificent.” He hitched her legs higher over his shoulders and thrust his tongue inside her. She cried out and gasped his name, rocking her hips against his mouth. He growled low in his throat and felt her tighten beneath him. With immense effort, he raised his head just long enough to look her in the eye and say, “You have nothing to be ashamed of.”He was in love with the sight of her, mouth open, back arched, breasts no doubt full and tight beneath her bodice, her face awash in sunlight. He lowered his head again and made love to her with his tongue until she was nearly undone.“Adam,” she begged, and he slid one finger inside her, stroking her until she climaxed, practically screaming his name. When she tried to sit up, he put a hand to her abdomen and pressed her down, coaxing another orgasm from her before he let her go.She collapsed on the grass in a heap of skirts and moans and “Oh good God.”Adam lay in the grass next to her and leaned over to kiss her nose. “Close, but not quite.” Belle rolled her eyes and threw her skirts back down over her knees. “I am curious—what poet had you so thoroughly engrossed?”Her smile was far too mischievous for his safety. “John Donne.”“A clergyman.”“A randy clergyman. I didn’t put the book down until I’d finished ‘To His Mistress, Going to Bed.’”“Sounds like something I should read before tonight.”“It absolutely is,” she said, reaching for the fastenings of his trousers, “but I don’t think we’re quite done here yet.” “Oh, no,” Belle sighed half an hour later, as they picked themselves up off the ground and somewhat managed to right their clothes.“What is it?”“I just realized this dress is going to have some very difficult grass stains.”“You’re the lady of the house now,” Adam said, linking arms with his wife and dropping a kiss to the top of her head. “You don’t have to explain grass stains.”“I rather think they explain themselves.” Belle got better at playing her side of the game as the months went on, Adam realized, though that only made things more explosive when he heard the welcome smack of a book against a table, or the floor, or a wall. (“Do you know,” he’d said as she retrieved her copy of La Princesse de Clèves following a particularly memorable encounter in the dining room, “I think that’s the first time I’ve seen you throw a book.” Her only answer was a mumbled, “You started it.”)It was winter when he found her in the library, seated with her elbows propped on one of the tables, reading a book that was open flat in front of her. He’d spent much of the day answering correspondence from his less vapid cousins—who happened to be the most distant ones—and making excuses for the hundredth time about why he wouldn’t come up to Versailles. The sight of his wife, who, for all she loved living in a house with a huge library, was a country girl at heart, was a terribly welcome one.He came behind her chair and slid his arms around her shoulders, resting his chin on the top of her head. “Good evening, chèrie.” She raised one arm to run her fingers through his hair before trailing them down his cheek. “What are you reading?”“Your favorite.” The teasing lilt in her voice was positively dangerous. “‘If I profane with my unworthiest hand—’”“Good God, no,” he whined. This meant war. “I thought we were past this.”She withdrew her hand and leaned farther forward over the quarto volume. “How can you ever expect me to get past an exchange of love declarations that forms a sonnet?”“Because they’re exchanged by two children who kill themselves.” He bent down to press hard, passionate kisses against her neck. “You have better ways to spend your time.”“Tonight?” laughed Belle. “I don’t think so. I’m quite fine in Verona where I am. It’s summer there, you know.”He breathed warm air into her ear. “I thought you liked winter.”“But I’ve gotten it twice this year, what with various curses and snow in June. Also, you nearly concussed me with a snowball.”“That was the first time I’d thrown one. Be patient with me.”Belle turned her head slightly toward him, but pulled the book closer. Victory remained elusive. “You’d never thrown a snowball before?”“No brothers and sisters, wasn’t allowed to fraternize with the servants’ children. I was the golden boy of the house. Who was going to have a snowball fight with me?”Belle returned her gaze to her book. “Well…we’ll work on that later. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m reading.”The dryness in her voice told Adam that was a challenge if he’d ever heard one. He unwound his arms from her shoulders and pulled the heavy oak chair away from the table. She snatched up the play and held it in front of her face. He circled to the front of the chair and caught her around the waist, hauling her to her feet.Her caught her gaze over the top of the book and raised his eyebrows. Alright?She rolled her eyes and turned the page. Continue.“Perhaps the problem,” Adam said as he spun Belle around so she leaned against the table, “is that you only think is play is your favorite because you haven’t found the one that truly is.”“I doubt that,” she said, threading her arm through the space between his left arm and his body so she could read her book over his shoulder. “And I’ll remind you that I don’t give you endless grief about your favorite play.”She felt his nose brush her temple and his breath tickle her ear as he murmured seductively, “You don’t know what my favorite play is.”“Of course I do. I distinctly remember a conversation that went something along the lines of—” she deepened her voice in a frighteningly good imitation of him, “—‘Hamlet is superior to every other play in Western literature, including the works of Monsieur Racine. And certainly that silly double suicide masquerading as a love story.’”“I do not sound like that.”“I’m sorry, do you spend all day listening to you?”“Technically, yes. And I believe your response, more or less, was—” he raised his voice to a confident falsetto, “—‘Hamlet? Ugh. A prince is foolish and everyone he loves dies.’”Belle kept her voice gruff. “‘So you can see why it appeals to me.’”“Well,” said Adam, bending his head to press light kisses along her collarbone, “it doesn’t appeal to me as much anymore. What I can’t understand is why Romeo and Juliet still has any appeal for you.”“Because,” she said with a gasp as he scraped his teeth down her neck, “it perfectly captures two humans in wild, passionate love.”“Lust,” Adam corrected.“We’ll never know, actually,” she said, “if it was lust or love. Their story gets cut short too soon. the beauty of it is in the potential, the pure emotion. ‘Here’s much to do with hate, but more with love.’ If you take away their love story, it’s possible that characters who die in the play would still die. If you take away the hatred of their families, there’s a possibility that their love survives.”“The way he switches from Rosaline to Juliet,” said Adam, gathering Belle’s skirts up to her knees, “I doubt it.”“But the possibility is there.” She sighed in frustration as he began to skim his fingers across the backs of her knees. “It’s about a love made impossible by circumstances. You absolutely cannot tell me you don’t have experience with that.”He lifted her so she was sitting on the table, even as her gaze remained fixed on the book she held over his shoulder. “That I do. But couldn’t you find a play with a more…” he began to stroke up her thighs, “…satisfying payoff?”“I haven’t come across its equal in language,” she insisted as he began to undo the laces at the front of her dress. “Listen to this.” Her other arm reached past him and he heard the sound of rustling as she turned pages, looking for a scene she clearly knew well. “‘Gallop a’—aaaah.” She let out a long sigh as he pulled her bodice free and scooped one breast out of her chemise, taking her tight, rosy nipple into his mouth.“I’m sorry,” he said after a few moments. “Were you saying something?”Belle took a deep breath as Adam returned his mouth to her breast and tried again. “‘Gallop apace, you firey-footed steeds, towards Phoebus’ lodging: Such a wagoner as Phaethon would whip you to the west, and bring in cloudy night immediately.’” She rocked her hips up as one of Adam’s hands delved between her legs, fingers working her clit and sliding into her slick entrance. “‘Spread thy close curtain, love-performing night, that runaway’s eyes may wink and Romeo leap into these arms, untalked of and unseen.’”The hand that wasn’t holding the book came to rest at the back of Adam’s head, where he was still working her into a frenzy with his mouth on her breast. “You see?” she gasped. “Juliet gets to be so unabashedly sexual. It’s quite refreshing.”“Yes,” said Adam wryly, raising his head to worry her earlobe between his teeth. “And then she must die.” He tucked his nose behind her ear and kissed the soft patch of skin there in that way that drove her mad. “And what about you, my love? Shall I give you une petite mort?”Belle exhaled loudly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m reading.” She spread her legs a bit wider.Adam reached for the fastenings of his breeches, slowly enough that she could easily have stopped him. When she didn’t, he freed his stiffened cock and stroked himself, fingers still wet from being inside his wife. He circled the head of his prick with his thumb until he was moaning, then reached for Belle’s hips and fit himself against her entrance.Smack-slam.Before he could properly register that she’d shut the book and dropped it, she had both hands at the back of his neck and was pulling him in for a kiss so intense he felt his mouth bruise. She bit and licked and sucked at him as though he was water and she was dying of thirst, when clearly, he thought, it was the other way around. Her hands moved from his neck to his arse, where she squeezed him and pressed him into her. He hitched her legs over his hips and bent her back over the table, burying himself in her, taking her hard and gasping her name. She buried one hand in his hair as he scraped his stubbled jaw across her neck before giving her the love bites he knew she was so proud of, the deep red ones that lingered for days. He worked a hand between their bodies to press against her clit, and the pressure of her ankles against the back of his legs told him she was close.“I love you,” she gasped, “you teasing, infuriating, wonderful man. I love you more than all the poets in France or playwrights in England will ever be able to say.” She arched against him then, and he held her tight as she followed the course of her pleasure, convulsing around his cock and pushing him even closer to the edge. When she stilled beneath him and he was sure she’d had as much as she wished, he gave a few more deep thrusts and finished hard and fast inside her, the strength of his climax making his head pound.He held them there for a few moments against the table while they each caught their breath, then began to search up his sleeve for a handkerchief.“Looking for this?” Belle asked, pulling a white linen square from her pocket and dangling it in front of him.“Thank you,” he said as he reached for it, but she jerked it away.“You still haven’t told me what your favorite play is.”“If I promise to show you as soon as we disentangle ourselves, will you please hand over the only means I have of cleaning myself?”“If you kiss me first.”He did, happily, long and slow and sweet. “Since I was a bit too distracted to say it,” he murmured against her mouth, “I love you too.”She handed over the handkerchief and began putting her own clothing to rights. When she’d re-laced her bodice and Adam had refastened his breeches, he took her by the hand and led her to the section she knew best.“If you want true lovers,” he declared as he removed a slender volume with a flourish, “you go to Much Ado About Nothing.”Belle smiled and shook her head. So dramatic.“Go on,” said Adam, “open it up.” Belle opened it to the first page. “No, not that one,” he corrected, reaching over her shoulder to turn a few pages. “There. Read for Beatrice.”She cleared her throat. “‘I wonder that you will still be talking, Signior Benedick; nobody marks you.’”“‘What,’” read Adam, his voice a deliciously low rumble, “‘My dear Lady Disdain! Are you yet living?”“‘Is it possible disdain should die while she had such meet food to feed it as Signior Benedick? Courtesy itself must convert to disdain if you come in her presence.’” Belle lowered the book and turned to look at Adam. “Oh. They’re quite in love, aren’t they.”He bent down to touch his nose to hers. “Madly.”She blinked up at him. Once. Twice. “Are you hungry?”“Famished. To the kitchens?”“Yes.”“Bring the book.” Mrs. Potts spotted them later that night by the fire, heads bent together, a plate of cheese toast between them.“‘I was about to protest I loved you,’” read Belle.Adam laughed, soft and low. “‘And do it with all thy heart.’”“‘I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest.’”
10408329	The Beginning of An End	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Soul Eater Evans, Maka Albarn, Black Star, Liz Thompson, Patty Thompson, Death the Kid", "Fandom": "Soul Eater", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Not Rated", "author": "by orphan_account", "chapters": "2/?", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-22T00:00:00", "words": "784", "Additional Tags": null, "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Maka Albarn/Soul Eater Evans, Maka Albarn & Soul Eater Evans", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	SOUL POVThis morning was starting out to be uncool. Stupid Maka woke up late so we ended being late up for school. Stein gave us hell which was pretty much homework. Blair ended up making me and Maka lunch which she thought would be fish and vodka, that cat had seriously got on my last nerve. She also ended up seducing me which every cool guy gets in life like me. Maka opened the door at the wrong time and my day finished with a bleeding head from Maka's infamous MAKA CHOP.Spirit POV"Maka dear, why won't you talk to your dear papa? I want to see you." I said over the phone as waterfalls left my eyes. Maka had recently had her very first tardy in her years at the DWMA and she lost her perfect record. Even when she hurt her back when completing a mission with the rotten bastard Soul who decided he was too important to save Maka, she still went to class. Although it took her 10 minute to get there she still wasn't late. My poor Maka I thought to myself. "RING" a loud bell shook in the background waking me from my daydream. Noticing it was 5:30pm I grabbed my bag and some money and headed to my first date ever since my wife left me, and this time I wasn't going to cheat or at least try too.Maka POVI cannot believe that for the first time in forever I am actually late. How could me Maka Albarn, the one who is about to make a death scythe, ruin my god damn attendance record. Ok, maybe I have left Soul behind so I can be on time, but this time it was me who was late AND SOUL WOKE UP BEFORE ME. Never had that ever happened before in my life. Soul was always the one who would wake up later then me, WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THIS WORLD?"So,Soul, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" "What do you mean?" he replied in a what-on-earth-are-you-talking-about tone. "You know what I mean." I responded. There stood Soul, reading a anime and looking at me weird he asked.. "Are you PMSing? " ... " "What the hell Soul, what do you mean, do you even know what the means, even if I was, it's none of you business, so just leave me alone!" Leaving with a sad and disappointed face he grabbed his anime called FAIRYTAIL and left without a word.?'s POVThere beside me, stood the man of my dreams, Spirit, also known as the strongest death scythe and someone so handsome and kind. He took me out to dinner just because he accidentally spilled my drink and he took me to the most expensive restaurant known to the universe. His heartwarming glaze made me feel warm and happy inside, his was he touched my hand gave me hope, his utmost loyalty to me during this dinner was admirable, this was the best night of my life."Well, anyway, thank you for the date Spirit." I quickly announced. His hopeful smile gave me a ray of golden sunlight filling my universe. Then I left, with a heart of gleam and the man of my dreams left with a imprint of lipstick on his right cheek and it blended well with his blush.Well I hope you like it, I will kept writing more, but in return plz comment so I know at least one person is reading my story ;-) Sorry about all the character switching but I had to in order to get into the main part. Don't worry I will add more SOMA in the next chapter. Also if you have any suggestions I will gladly take them and most likely put them in my stories, and this story is in the timeline of after Maka and Soul defeated the kishin in the last episode of SOUL EATER and Hope you like it and plzMaka: "Review" Soul:" Rate" Death the kid: " Comment" Black star: " And bow down to your great leader the god Black Star" Maka: " Maka-Chop"Byeeeeeeee, Vera Winters ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Not on update. I am seriously worried about my friend, and I know that I may seem like I am overreacting but she hasn't been speaking to anyone, she has literally been avoiding all humans and even goes to the extent of avoiding teachers. I seriously need help, does anyone have any ideas how to speak to her if she won't talk to me via electronic or voice. And yes, leaving her some space is good but on of her friends recently died and she was fine until a while ago...Bye,Vera Winters
10482702	Fragile	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Katsuki Yuuri, Victor Nikiforov", "Fandom": "Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Explicit", "author": "by Pseudopaws (orphan_account)", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-28T00:00:00", "words": "6,243", "Additional Tags": "Rough Sex, Rough Body Play, Violent Sex, Humiliation, Verbal Humiliation, Verbal Abuse, Degradation, Fucked Up, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Mindfuck, Blood, Dominance, Submission, Consensual Kink, Sadism, Masochism, Look man it's just fucked up be prepared idk, It's probably not as intense im making it seem but damn, Viktor Suffering, Aftercare, Risk Aware Consensual Kink, BDSM, Top Katsuki Yuuri, Bottom Victor Nikiforov, Dom Katsuki Yuuri, Sub Victor Nikiforov, Dom/sub", "Relationship": "Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "Break Me", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Yuuri’s already speaking before he’s even halfway through the door to Viktor’s apartment--their apartment.“Viktor! Today’s run was great, I think I beat my own record!” Breathless and exhilarated, he kicks off his shoes, nearly hitting Makkachin, who has bounded into the room to pounce on the couch where Viktor is lounging.Yuuri strips off his jacket as he makes his way to the kitchen. “It was really nice out today, too!” He snatches up a bottle of water, downing it in nearly one go. He wipes his mouth and grins. “The funniest thing happened, too, because there was this cat, and Makkachin was chasing it and the cat was so angry and it made me think of Yurio. Anyway, I’m starving, what do you want for lunch?” He flops onto the couch now, breathing hard, his heart racing, but when he turns to face Viktor it stops, it all stops, the world stops and his breath catches in his throat.Viktor’s been silent the whole time, and as Yuuri meets his gaze, he sees something in his eyes. His own eyes dart between the two of his, searching, asking, and he finds his answer. Dull blue, a storm brewing; something lurking, something dangerous.Yuuri takes a shuddering breath now, and his eyes have not left Viktor’s. The other man’s face is expressionless, and its vacancy puts Yuuri on edge.“Viktor?” he says softly. “Are you alright?”Viktor’s eyes are as vacant as his face, and Yuuri feels his hysteria rising--a thrill running through him, a tingling that is terrifying. He knows that look.Yuuri’s heart stops as Viktor finally speaks; a hoarse whisper that rings in his ears.“Yuuri. Break me.”----------They’re in their bedroom in an instant--hands flying, grabbing, squeezing, lips locked, and Viktor cries out into Yuuri’s mouth as Yuuri bites hard enough to draw blood. He kisses him hard, wanting to bruise him, and he backs him into the bed now, shoving him hard so that he lands on his back, gasping, and Yuuri is on him again, lips meeting, tongues teasing, sliding, twisting, and Viktor is moaning, running his fingers through Yuuri’s hair, tugging hard. Yuuri hisses in pain, breaking their kiss to look down at the man underneath him.There’s something dark in the eyes that burn through him, something snarling, something that challenges him, and he feels something within himself that rises to meet it, snarling in return.Viktor isn’t going to go down easy.Yuuri cups Viktor’s face gently, letting his hand wander lower, towards his neck, and now his hand slowly wraps around it, and Yuuri can feel Viktor swallow hard.“Tell me what you want,” Yuuri says softly.Viktor says nothing, the challenge still burning in his eyes.Yuuri’s hand tightens slowly. “Tell me,” he repeats, his voice still low, “what you want.”The first bit of emotion finally reaches Viktor's face, and Yuuri watches his lips curve into a slow smirk. He still says nothing.Infuriating. Yuuri squeezes, pressing on either side of his throat, cutting off the blood flow, watching the color rise in his face. It looks good against the bright gold of his ring. He leans forward, his lips brushing the other man’s ear, and he hears him trying to gasp.“Tell me what you want,” Yuuri whispers, “or I’ll make you.”He loosens his grip, and Viktor pants but still says nothing, and suddenly Yuuri feels him tense, sees his hands move in a flash, rising to grab his throat in return. Yuuri squeezes again, harder, and Viktor sputters, his hands dropping instead to try and dig his nails into the fingers wrapped around his neck.Yuuri squeezes hard, jerking him this time, rising up and bringing the man with him, watching the life drain from him, his eyes starting to roll back.“I warned you.”He releases him now, and Viktor barely has the chance to let out a violent cough before he’s thrown onto the bed again, and Yuuri’s back on him, kissing him hard. He tastes the blood still streaked on Viktor’s lips, and it nearly drives him mad with hunger. Viktor bites him back now, and Yuuri gasps into his mouth. He twists his fingers in Viktor’s hair, yanking his head back.“Fighting back? Or are you going to just lie there and take it?”The last words have barely lefts his lips before Viktor shoves him off, flipping over to press him into the bed, straddling him. He grabs Yuuri by the wrists before he can attempt to take control again. He squeezes hard, reminding Yuuri that he’s so much stronger, so much bigger, and he smirks again now, looking down at Yuuri in disdain.“Is that all? How disappointing.” He makes a mock-pouting face. “I really wanted you to break me. I must be a terrible coach! Is this why you came in second?”“At least I don’t come first,” Yuuri sneers, and bucks upward, taking Viktor by surprise as he nearly topples off of him, losing his grip. Yuuri’s on top of him again, and he pins him down with a strength that says no, you aren’t stronger, and you aren’t bigger either. “Are you even trying?”There’s something like anger in Viktor’s eyes, and he surges forward, but Yuuri’s hand flies to his throat again to slam him back down into the bed, squeezing hard enough to bruise. Viktor’s struggling, clawing at Yuuri’s hand desperately. Yuuri takes a moment to admire the lovely shade of red he’s becoming before releasing him, and in a flash he’s at Viktor’s neck, sinking his teeth into the flesh, and Viktor grits his teeth and hisses, refusing to cry out. Yuuri bites harder. Viktor squirms, clawing at Yuuri’s shoulders now, taking a shuddering breath. Yuuri bites harder. Hard enough to draw blood, and he tastes it now, a tang that he laps up eagerly, and Viktor’s entire body shudders now, trembling harder as Yuuri sucks and licks at his bruised and broken skin, leaving marks to remind him who he belongs to. He feels a hardness growing beneath him, pressing against his jeans, and he laughs into Viktor’s ear.“Already? Just from a few bites? Are you really so desperate?” He slides his tongue into his ear, hot and wet, and Viktor makes a strained noise as he tries to push him off, but Yuuri has pinned his hands again, and as he breathes into Viktor’s ear, he feels him harden.“Pathetic,” Yuuri whispers.He rolls his hips down without warning, and Viktor bites back a cry. Yuuri pulls back to watch him, rolling his hips again and again, and Viktor’s face is flushed, his jaw set, refusing to make a sound. Yuuri rolls slowly, teasingly, and he lets go of the other man’s wrist. He rolls down hard again as Viktor tries to grab him, rendering him helpless, and Yuuri pulls off his own shirt now, stripping slowly.Viktor’s eyes roam over him, the hunger in them growing stronger, and Yuuri laughs again.“Is this enough to get you off?” He runs a hand down his bare chest, down his abs, and he sees Viktor’s eyes follow. “Do you want this? Do you want me?”Viktor’s eyes snap back to his, and Yuuri sees the storm raging within them. It sends jolts down his spine, to see him so angry and so helpless.“Hmm,” Yuuri hums in mock-thought, “I don’t think I like this on you, either.” He tugs on Viktor’s shirt now. It’s a button-down, and Yuuri grasps it suddenly, ripping it open, the buttons flying, fabric tearing, and Viktor gasps. “There, that’s much better!” Yuuri says, grinning. As he drops down to bite at his neck again, Viktor tries to grab him, and this makes Yuuri furious.He seizes him by the throat again, shaking him. “Did I say you could fucking touch me?” He snarls. Viktor says nothing and tries to rise again, trying to shove him off, and Yuuri fucking snaps. He shakes him harder, squeezing until Viktor nearly blacks out.“Do. Not. Touch. Me.” he grinds out. “Are you misbehaving on purpose? Do you want me to hurt you?”“You wish,” Viktor wheezes out.Yuuri smiles at this. “Yeah. I do wish. And my wishes come true, because here I am, and here you are.”He waits until Viktor is on the edge of consciousness before letting go, lunging for the nightstand to rummage through its drawers, and has just enough time to grab the rope he’s been searching for before he’s yanked back and thrown face-first onto the bed. He feels Viktor’s weight on him, and he struggles as Viktor leans forward to whisper in his ear.“Aww, for me? How thoughtful.”Yuuri feels the rope binding his wrists together, and he grinds his teeth furiously.“When I have you again, you’ll fucking regret it, Nikiforov.”Viktor’s lips brush against his ear now. “Обещаешь?” He purrs.Yuuri shudders, fighting down his arousal. The fucking asshole. He won’t give him the satisfaction.Viktor presses him from behind, grinding his hips against Yuuri’s ass, and Yuuri feels how hard he is. “What, are you gonna come now?” He starts to laugh, but bites down hard on his lip as Viktor bucks against him harder.“Well,” he whispers again into Yuuri’s ear, “I guess I’ll have to, since you can’t even make me.”Yuuri moans suddenly, deep and throaty, the moan that always drives the other man crazy, and rolls his hips up. Viktor groans, taken off guard, weakened by the sound, and Yuuri seizes that moment to roll from beneath him. His hands have been slowly struggling to release his bonds, and he pulls them free now, and as Viktor lunges at him, Yuuri slips the rope around his neck in a flash, crossing the ends and pulling hard. Viktor coughs, trying to breathe, and Yuuri laughs again.“You’re pretty shit at tying knots. Here, I’ll show you how it’s done.”Viktor’s the one face-down now, his wrists bound securely tight, and Yuuri grabs a fistful of his beautiful silver hair, yanking his head back. His lips trail up from his shoulder to his ear. “Да. Обещаю.” he breathes, and he feels Viktor melt beneath him. He presses his face back into the bed now, his hands trailing down his back, pulling up the remains of his shirt. He doesn’t take it off, because he loves fucking a half-naked Viktor. Something about it is just...His lips are on his back now, making their way down his spine, kissing gently, lightly, his breath ghosting skin. Yuuri tugs at his pants with his teeth, growling. His hands wrap around Viktor’s hips to unbutton them, and Viktor makes a strained sound as Yuuri’s hands brush against his bulge. Yuuri takes a moment to ghost his fingertips over it, and Viktor twitches, making another sound of frustration. Yuuri tugs down his pants now, and his briefs as well, and Viktor gasps as he feels Yuuri’s fingertips running lightly over his freed cock.“Hmm,” Yuuri hums, “you’re too hard. Don’t bore me. If you come too soon, I’ll strangle you unconscious.”He can’t tell if Viktor is afraid or aroused. Probably both. He leans in to kiss his cheeks now, still breathing teasingly over the skin, and Viktor squirms beneath him. His lips find his hole, and he runs his tongue around the rim, ever so lightly. Viktor makes a muffled sound, trying not to groan as Yuuri licks harder. He kisses now, lips sucking, teasing, and Viktor tries and fails to hold in a whimper as Yuuri’s tongue enters him. It dips in and out, in and out, withdrawing to swirl around the rim again, and Viktor’s thighs begin to tremble.Yuuri pulls back suddenly and brings his hand down hard on Viktor’s cheeks, and the man buries his face into the sheets to hide his gasp.“I said not to bore me. Are you shaking already? I haven’t even fucked you yet.” He leans over him, lips against his ear again.“And you still haven’t told me what you want.”Viktor snorts, and then bites back a yelp as Yuuri strikes him again. He does it again, and again, and again, harder each time, and with his other hand, Yuuri grabs Viktor by the hair before he can bury his face into the sheets again.“If you’re going to scream, don’t be a little bitch about it. Let me hear you.”Viktor’s jaw is clamped shut, refusing, and Yuuri sighs. He’s being so rebellious today. He must be dying for punishment. And Yuuri would give it to him.He slaps his ass again, and Viktor grinds his teeth, still refusing to give in. Yuuri spanks him over and over, even harder than he did before. He sees the skin redden, and decides that he’d like to see it bruised. He’s lost track of how many times his hand has come down, firm and swift, but with the next strike, Viktor finally cries out. His eyes are stinging with tears, though he refuses to let them fall. He’s breathing heavily, panting, his face as red as his ass now.“That’s not what I want to hear. Not even close.”He doesn’t bother keeping count now, but by the time a scream finally escapes Viktor’s lips, he sees that he’s red and bruised, hands imprinted, skin raw. Viktor is shaking hard now, his breath rattling, but he still isn’t crying yet. No, that won’t do.He drops to kiss the bruises, his breath light, and Viktor shivers. He licks them now, and Viktor shivers harder. Yuuri sinks his teeth into the raw and broken flesh, and Viktor cries out, and as Yuuri bites again and again, long and hard, Viktor loses his composure, crying out over and over. “Y-yuuri, pl-please!”Yuuri withdraws. Oh?“Yes?” he asks sweetly.Viktor groans, turning his head away, refusing to say any more. Yuuri tugs at the rope binding the man’s wrists. “You know, it’s rude to ignore someone.”Viktor does it anyway.Yuuri rises to undo his jeans, sliding them and his briefs down just enough to draw his cock out. He shakes his head, making a tsking sound.“I’m not even fully hard. You really aren’t trying, are you?”Viktor growls, struggling against his bonds, but Yuuri grabs his hips, pressing them against him. He slides his cock between Viktor’s cheeks, slow and teasing, and Viktor is shuddering again, biting back another groan. Yuuri rubs his head against his hole, around the rim, and as he gently pushes in just the tiniest fraction of an inch, Viktor gasps loudly, body tensing in anticipation.Yuuri draws away, laughing. “Did you really think I was gonna fuck you? Really?”Viktor whimpers, body still tense, and Yuuri runs his fingers lightly along the ruined flesh of his ass. He makes a tsking sound again.“No, you don’t deserve it. I’d love to take you dry, to make you bleed, but you don’t deserve it.”He rolls Viktor over now, and smirks at his red face, sweat running down it, lips swollen and bleeding, chest heaving, and his cock, so very hard, so very desperately hard. Yuuri brushes a finger so lightly over the head that he doesn’t even touch skin, and Viktor arcs back, groaning.“Wow!” Yuuri’s grinning, excited. “You’re so sensitive today!”He frowns suddenly. He’s just looked into Viktor’s eyes, and he doesn’t like what he sees there. There’s a fire burning, challenging. A soul chipped but intact. A mind weakened but still sane.No, he thinks, that won’t do at all.Viktor squirms against his bonds again, and Yuri decides that he needs more secure restraints.His hand shoots out to wrap around Viktor’s throat again, clamping down mercilessly, and Viktor nearly blacks out in an instant. Yuuri takes his opportunity to quickly untie his wrists, bringing them up to the metal frame of the headboard and securing them to the bars. He wraps and knots multiple times to secure them further, because he’s going to make Viktor writhe in pain.Viktor gasps out, choking, and struggles, but finds that his wrists can’t move an inch. Yuuri runs a finger down his chest, down his stomach, stopping just before his cock. Viktor growls in frustration as Yuuri runs his fingers up and down his thighs. He feels them quiver deliciously, fueling his hunger, and his eyes never leave Viktor’s as he lowers his head, and Viktor tenses again, breathing hard--anticipating, desperate. He growls again, twisting angrily as Yuuri’s mouth presses against his thighs instead of his cock. Yuuri laughs against his skin, breathing and licking and sucking lightly, and now Viktor quivers harder, withholding his gasps. He’s now withholding cries of pain, as Yuuri sucks hard, bites hard, grabs hard. And he moves now, across Viktor’s thighs, biting and sucking, marking and bruising, and Viktor’s trembling is becoming more frenzied now, his breaths coming harder, shuddering, nearly sobbing, but he refuses to cry out. Yuuri can feel him on edge, teetering, and he chooses a spot closest to his cock, to his balls--the sensitive flesh, so very sensitive, and he bites HARD, hard until he tastes blood.He gets the reaction he wanted. Viktor arcs his back, screaming, and Yuuri thinks he can hear him sobbing, and as much as he’d like to pull back and enjoy the sight of his tears, he isn’t done with him yet. After all, he’s got another thigh.Yuuri does the same on the other side, sinking his teeth into the sensitive skin, and Viktor screams again, writhing, sobbing harder, “Oh please, Yuuri, please, God, YUURI!” Yuuri surfaces, licking his lips, and he grins now, because Viktor’s face is twisted in pain, tearing streaking down his face, his breath coming in sobs that wrack his entire body.He reaches out to grab Viktor’s chin, jerking his head up to search his eyes. Glazed, nearly vacant. But intact. There’s still a mind lurking behind those eyes.But not for long.Yuuri kisses his neck, kisses the bitten skin, the bruises made by his fingers, kissing, and Viktor makes a small noise. Yuuri kisses harder, harder, and now he’s sucking, sucking so very slowly, leaving marks as he goes. Viktor’s neck, his shoulder, down his chest. Marking, claiming.“You belong to me.”Viktor makes another noise that may have been a groan of protest.“Oh? You don’t agree?”Viktor says nothing, his head turned away.Yuuri smirks. There are other ways to mark his territory. His fingers press against Viktor’s lips now, teasing, passing over bruises and dried blood. He slips a finger into his mouth. Viktor makes a muffled sound, and Yuuri slips a second finger in. He tugs playfully at his bottom teeth, hooking his jaw, and before Viktor can make another sound, Yuuri pushes his fingers towards the back of his throat.Viktor gags, his teeth coming down on Yuuri’s fingers, and Yuuri raises his other hand to slap him across the face. Viktor’s eyes widen in shock, his cheek reddening, stinging.“Don’t do that again. And don’t gag, either.”He presses his fingers back again, slowly, and when Viktor gags again, he slaps him harder. Tears of pain are in his eyes now, and he’s breathing harder.“What did I just say?”Viktor can barely let out a muffled whimper before Yuuri shoves his fingers down further, and Viktor gags hard, his throat seizing. Yuuri slaps him so hard that he screams around Yuuri’s fingers, and the tears are flowing now.Yuuri hooks his jaw again, yanking his head closer. He stares into eyes that are full of fear, a primal fear--prey about to be torn apart.“If you gag,” Yuuri says slowly, ”on my cock, I will snap your fucking neck.”Viktor’s eyes widen further, and he whimpers again. Yuuri wriggles out of his jeans, tossing them aside, and he grabs Viktor by the hair now, yanking him up further, positioning him so that his lips are leveled perfectly with Yuuri’s cock as he straddles his chest. He rubs the head along Viktor’s lips, feeling them tremble, then pushes it into his mouth. He lets out a shuddering breath. So hot, so wet, and he pushes in further and further, and is pleased to see that Viktor hasn’t gagged, although he can see his throat working hard to stop himself from doing so. Yuuri slides out, then in, slowly, relishing the feel of Viktor’s sweet lips wrapped tightly around his cock.He looks down at him, quirking an eyebrow. “Well? Get to work.”Viktor obeys at once, taking Yuuri into his mouth, sucking, licking, in and out, in and out, and he draws back to swirl his tongue around the head and up and down the shaft, and brings him into his mouth again. In and out.Yuuri grits his teeth, biting back his moans. “God,” he growls, “you feel so good, so fucking good.” He runs his fingers through Viktor’s hair, tugging. “Faster. No, faster. Fucking faster.” Yuuri snarls in frustration.He grabs his head firmly, keeping him still, and thrusts into him. Viktor makes a strangled sound, and Yuuri feels his cock twitch.“Yeah, choke on it. Choke”.He thrusts again, and again, and again, faster and faster, harder, fucking his mouth, fucking his face, and Viktor is making muffled sounds, whimpering, struggling against his bonds. Yuuri pants, thrusting faster into his mouth, letting himself build up, letting it rise, and when he looks down into Viktor’s eyes and sees nothing but mindless lust, he moans, loudly and shamelessly, pulling out to come on his face. Viktor gasps for air, his face dripping, hot and thick, splattered, marked. His.Yuuri yanks his head back to look into his eyes again.“You belong to me.”Viktor, still panting, looks up at him, dripping with cum; thick and white, trickling down his face. Yuuri smears it across his lips with a thumb, pushing it into his mouth. Viktor sucks on it obediently. Yuuri is thrilled.But he isn’t done with him quite yet. He slides down his chest, kissing, sucking, trailing down. Viktor tenses as he feels Yuuri’s breath against his cock. His own breathing quickens. He twitches desperately. Yuuri’s tongue darts out, licking the head, and Viktor’s eyes roll back, his back arcing. Yuuri withdraws, frowning.“You’re too close. I don’t want you to come. Not yet. Not anytime soon.”Viktor stares at him, wide eyed, as Yuuri slips off the bed.“Y-yuuri?” he whispers hoarsely.Yuuri gives him a cursory glance over his shoulder as he walks out of the bedroom. “I’ll come back when you’ve calmed down a bit.”Viktor makes a high whining sound, falling limp against his restrains, panting, whimpering.----------Yuuri closes the door to the bedroom and falls back heavily on it. He’s breathing hard and he’s trembling, and he’s trying to calm himself as best as he can. Makkachin bounds over, whining softly. Yuuri pets him, feeling guilty. “It’s alright, boy. We’re okay. Don’t worry.”Yuuri leans his head against the door again, closing his eyes.When Viktor had approached him with this at first, Yuuri could only stare in disbelief.“I-I, um, y-you want me to what?”“Break me,” Viktor had repeated, very nonchalantly. Yuuri had seen something strange in his eyes, and Yuuri had found it both scary and exhilarating.It was slow at first. Viktor would never force Yuuri into anything. With time, Yuuri found that he liked being on top, he liked being dominant, and most of all, he liked to hurt. He liked to hurt Viktor. He had felt terrible about this urge, but Viktor saw it in his eyes, and he had cupped Yuuri’s face so gently, telling him that he himself liked to be hurt. He liked to be hurt by him. They had tried things, new things, different things, and Yuuri had felt like a beast finally uncaged, finally able to hunt.VIktor had always told him not to stop. Not until he said the word, and Yuuri had agreed, but he was nervous, because he had never done this kind of thing before.Viktor hasn’t said his word yet, but Yuuri’s still worried. He was doing exactly what Viktor had told him to do--the things he liked, the things he wanted, and Yuuri hopes he’s doing a good job. He grabs another water bottle from the kitchen, gulping down half of it. He closes his eyes again and takes a steadying breath.---------Viktor stirs as Yuuri re-enters the bedroom, his eyes wide with fear as Yuuri approaches. Yuuri presses the water bottle against his lips, and Viktor nearly chokes as he drinks desperately. Yuuri pulls away.“Slowly. You’ll throw it all up, and that would make me very angry. Here, drink. I need you alive for the rest of the day.”After he throws the empty bottle aside, he lets his gaze sweep over Viktor’s body. So broken, so very broken. Swollen, bruised, bleeding, marked, torn. Face smeared with sweat, blood, tears, and cum. Yuuri loves it. He traces the marks lightly with a finger, and Viktor makes a small gasping sound. Yuuri’s pleased to see that his cock is limp, although he sees it begin to harden at Yuuri’s touch.Yuuri climbs on top of him again, straddling him. He looks down at Viktor, at this broken mess of a man.“I’m going to fuck you.” Yuuri says flatly. “I’m going to fuck you, and I’m going to break you.”Viktor gapes at him, and starts to tremble.Yuuri reaches into the drawer of the nightstand again, drawing out the lube. His eyes never leave Viktor’s as he coats his fingers thickly and pushes one into him. Viktor gasps weakly, starting to squirm. Yuuri pushes in a second one. Viktor whimpers, squirming harder. Yuuri pushes in a third, and Viktor moans softly, bucking his hips slightly.Yuuri coats himself now, his cock hard again, and he strokes it slowly, letting Viktor watch, letting Viktor see what is about to destroy him. Viktor trembles harder, his breath catching.He slides into him slowly, exhaling just as slowly, and fuck, Viktor is so tight, so hot and wet, so thickly wet, and so fucking tight.“Fuck,” Yuuri hisses as he buries himself completely. Viktor had been gasping, moaning, whimpering, and squirming desperately as Yuuri had entered him, and now he’s shaking, tense, and Yuuri feels him, clenched tight around his cock.He slides out just as slowly, and before Viktor can whine in protest, he slams back into him, and Viktor cries out, “Yuuri!”He thrusts into him harder, and Viktor moans, gasps, shaking, his head thrown back. Harder, faster, and Viktor bites his lip, whimpering loudly. Yuuri grips his waist hard, fingers digging in, nails sinking in, and he slams him harder, grunting and growling with each thrust. Viktor’s back arcs, nearly screaming, and Yuuri lurches forward, grabbing Viktor’s legs and swinging them over his shoulders. He looks down at him, looks into his eyes. There’s still something in them. Something coherent.To break the body is one thing. To break the mind requires finesse. Control.“Look at you,” Yuuri whispers. “Look at you, Viktor Nikiforov. World famous athlete. And just look at you now.”Viktor’s eyes widen, and he stares up at him blankly.“What would people say if they saw you like this? Bruised,” he thrusts, “bleeding,” thrust, “sobbing,” thrust, “covered in cum and begging for more. What would they say?”Viktor gasps and moans with every thrust, and his cock is hard again, throbbing desperately. Yuuri smirks at it.“You’re so fucking desperate. You always have been. Desperate for attention, desperate for fame, desperate for me.” He increases his pace, watching Viktor writhe beneath him, and he sees the tears in his eyes. Good.“I idolized you, but you loved me. You were obsessed. You were fucking insane, desperate, wanting me, needing me.”He’s pounding into him now, adjusting his hips until he hits a spot that makes Viktor scream. He fucks him hard, fucks him deep, and Viktor is screaming, sobbing, frenzied, writhing and bucking madly.“Yuuri!” he sobs. Yuuri grabs his throat.“No. You don’t deserve to have my name on your lips. You don’t deserve any of me. You don’t deserve me at all. I’m too good for you, and you know it, and that’s why you cling to me so desperately. You’re pathetic.” He’s snarling now, and he’s fucking him hard enough for his eyes to roll back, his screaming incoherent, and he’s sobbing, sobbing so hard that it wracks his body nearly as much as Yuuri’s thrusting.Yuuri grips the headboard with one hand, his other still wrapped around Viktor’s throat.“I love doing this,” Yuuri breathes. “I love your neck, your throat, bruising under my fingers. I love seeing the blood cut off, and I love hearing you gasp, seeing the light fade from your eyes.” He sneers down at him, gripping the headboard tighter as he pounds into Viktor harder. Viktor is screaming himself hoarse, face streaked with tears, crying out. “You’re weak. So weak. Imagine what people would say if they knew you were so weak. If they knew how easily I can break you. You’re fucking sick. You’re getting off to this. What would people say?”Yuuri can’t tell if Viktor is screaming or sobbing anymore. He releases his throat to grab his cock now, and Viktor arcs his back and screams, crying and begging desperately, incoherently.Yuuri leans in. Closely. Staring him down. Staring into something so nearly broken, so chipped and cracked.Almost there."Tell me what you want.”Viktor throws his head back, screaming as Yuuri continues to drive into him mercilessly, and as Yuuri pumps his cock he sobs, “YUURI, BREAK ME, PLEASE.”Yuuri’s lips brush Viktor’s ear.“I don’t love you.”Viktor shatters.He screams as he comes, coating Yuuri’s hand thickly, burst after burst, desperate, denied, pent up, and he’s sobbing, sobbing so hard, and Yuuri grabs his face, tilts his face up towards his.Viktor’s eyes are dead.Yuuri bucks wildly, throwing his head back, moaning, coming inside Viktor, so very deep inside. Marking him. You belong to me.Viktor is sobbing hard, chest heaving, face screwed up in pain, and tears, endless tears, sobbing, hysterical, weeping, broken. When Yuuri unties him, he slides down limply. Yuuri grabs up a soft towel that he keeps by the bed and wipes his face gently. The tears don’t stop, but the blood and cum are wiped away, and Yuuri wipes the rest of his body as best as he can. Viktor won’t stay still, because he’s sobbing hard enough to spasm, and Yuuri tosses aside the towel, reaching for him, drawing him close. Viktor is still sobbing, and with his freed hands he covers his face. Yuuri pulls them aside gently and kisses him, over and over, kissing his tears, kissing his shuddering lips.He draws the other man into his chest, burying his face into his beautiful silver hair.“Viktor,” he whispers, “I love you. I love you, Viktor. It wasn’t real. It was pretend, remember? I didn’t mean anything I said. It was pretend, it was okay, remember all the other times? I love you. I’ve always loved you. You’re beautiful, the most talented person I’ve ever met, and if it weren’t for you, I’d never be the person I am today. I love you so much. I’d give my life for yours. It wasn’t real. Nothing I said was real. It was pretend. It wasn’t real. The only thing that’s real is that I love you. Viktor. Витя. Мой Витя.”Viktor’s sobbing slows, his breath hitching, whimpering, trembling. He buries closer to Yuuri, wrapping his arms around him.Yuuri kisses the top of his head. “ Милая моя,” he whispers. “Солнышко моё. Дорогая моя. Ангел мой. Я тебя люблю.”He repeats this softly, gently tracing aimless patterns along his back, kissing his hair, holding him close.After Viktor’s sobbing had mostly subsided, Yuuri rises. “Come on, let’s go bathe.”Viktor grabs his arm, panicking, “Don’t go. Please. Yuuri, don't leave me!"Yuuri helps him rise. “You’re coming with me, remember? Come on.”As he draws the bath, Yuuri sits Viktor down on a stool and reaches for the warm mug on the counter. It was tea, chamomile tea, and it was Viktor’s favorite. He often had it on hand, because he had this sort of portable tea maker that he kept in the bathroom--one of many random strange fancy things Viktor owned that Yuuri just kind of accepted. But the tea was already ready, always hot, and always needed.He brings him the mug now, pressing it into his hands. They tremble, so Yuuri holds them, supporting them as Viktor drinks. His eyes close, and Yuuri sees him visibly relax, though he’s still shaking, shaking as though he were cold. The tub is full now, and Yuuri pours in some fragrant oil that smells of lavender and chamomile. He adds that flower now, dried and crushed, sprinkling it into the water and watching the swirls form. Then the blossoms themselves now, a sunny yellow rimmed with white, and they fall from his hand and into the bath, floating gently on the water.This is the sort of thing Viktor likes--fragrant things, calming oils. He had said it was aromatherapy, and Yuuri had immediately rushed to learn everything about it. He wanted to make Viktor happy. That’s all he’s ever wanted.Yuuri guides him into the tub, and he slowly submerges himself. The warm water seems to soothe him, and he lays his head back, eyes closed. Yuuri soon follows, and he grabs up one of the soft bath sponges that Viktor seems to like to collect, as there were at least seven of them. Yuuri just kind of accepts this as well. Viktor's favorite is the brown one, which Yuuri had found odd until Viktor had explained that it reminded him of Yuuri's eyes. He brings it to Viktor’s face and wipes away what he couldn’t remove with the towel, moving down his body, making sure every inch of him is clean. Safe.Despite the blood, the wounds had been shallow, and Yuuri inspects them closely. They’d be fine, he decides. He had stocked up on creams and salves for times like these, anyway, and they always kept a first-aid kit nearby.He kisses the bruises, the marks, the cuts, and Viktor winces a little but doesn’t protest. Yuuri takes his hands again, kissing the rope burns on his wrists, kissing his fingers, kissing his gold ring.Viktor is staring down at the water listlessly, his gaze wandering to follow the floating blossoms every now and then.“Витя,” Yuuri calls softly. He hopes his Russian has improved since he’d moved to St. Petersburg. Sometimes it was the only thing Viktor responded to when he was like this.Viktor looks up at him, and Yuuri’s heart sinks. His eyes are dull, vacant. There’s nothing there.He pulls him into his arms, and they lay there, Viktor’s head buried in the crook of his neck, and Yuuri holds him closer, tighter.“I love you,” he whispers. He hopes he knows that.He says it again as they dry themselves, and again as Yuuri rubs soothing salves over his wounds and bruises, and again as he holds him in a freshly remade bed. The new sheets smell like chamomile. Makkachin jumps up to curl against them, licking Viktor's palm.Yuuri strokes Viktor’s hair until he falls asleep, whispering his love for him over and over until he drifts off as well.----------Yuuri’s up early the next morning, preparing breakfast. He’s on edge, his heart racing, nervous and afraid. He’s always like this after it happens. He’s afraid to see Viktor in the morning, afraid of seeing what he had done to him.He doesn’t understand exactly why Viktor wants this. He doesn’t know where it came from, or what caused it, or if anything even caused it at all. He doesn’t understand himself either, so he accepts Viktor for what he is, and hopes that Viktor accepts him in return. That’s what they had always said to each other. But Yuuri’s the type to worry, and as he hears Viktor enter the room, he tenses up.“Viktor, I-I made your favorite,” he says, trying to stop himself from trembling.He feels arms encircle him from behind, and feels Viktor’s chin on his shoulder.“Smells great. I hope you made extra, because I’m starving.”Yuuri turns to face him. Viktor has the disheveled and half-asleep look of someone who’s just rolled out of bed, and his smile is gentle and warm.“Good morning, Yuuri,” he says softly, his arms still around him.Yuuri looks into his eyes, darting back and forth between them, searching for an answer. He finds it--he sees the laughter, the mischief, the carefree happiness that he’s used to seeing, and Viktor’s eyes are so blue, and they’re bright as he looks down at him; they’re bright and full of life.Yuuri exhales in relief, throwing his arms around him and pulling him closer.“I love you, Viktor.”Yuuri can hear the sly grin in his voice without even looking up.“I know."
10422654	The Moment I Fell in	{ "Archive Warning": "Major Character Death", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Prompto Argentum, Cloud Strife, Noctis Lucis Caelum, Ignis Scientia, Cid Highwind", "Fandom": null, "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by BabyChocoboAlchemist", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-24T00:00:00", "words": "1,840", "Additional Tags": "Angst, Ardyn - Freeform, Comfort, Chapter 13 rewrite, Loss", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Prompto Argentum/Cloud Strife, Cid Highwind/Ignis Scientia (unrequited), The Sailor Scouts of Eos/Strife and Company (friends)", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "Final Fantasy XV, Final Fantasy VII", "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	No matter how much time passed, he remained trapped in the same moment, the moment in which fear mutilated him and every waking moment. The flash of time went beyond eternity. Time’s creators laughed at him as he stood still, waiting for any sign of relief. Any sign of life creeping into the horizon, promising the touch of hope. It was in the hours that stood still he reflected, eyes silent yet painted with a world of pain, longing, frustration. If there was something he could’ve done to undo the wounds that had been inflicted, if there was anything he could have done to restore Prompto’s smile, it would’ve been done in a heartbeat. No questions asked, no quarter given to the merciless flow of time.No matter how much time passed, Cloud remained trapped in that same moment, the moment in which he vowed never to leave Prompto’s side. The moment faces flooded his vision, all of them frantic, on fire with worry, heartache, a thousand wishes to kill the ones responsible for their chocobo’s pain. Their voices flooded the room but could not reach the one they were meant for, despite him being so close. Prompto had been spirited away, cast into a world they could not touch. A world that existed a thousand miles away from their own. And none of them cherished the distance. Nor did they welcome the silence that came in the wake of a rescue.No matter how much time passed, Cloud remained trapped in that moment. That moment in which Cid and Noctis, the latter weeping, broken on the inside and out, appeared out of thin air. The moment in which Cloud’s heart sank, touching emotions never before seen, brand-new sensations that warped the following minutes. It was that moment in which he rediscovered himself, finding himself in the many smiles that lit up his hours like fireflies. In the purity that challenged overwhelming darkness.Yuffie commented on how he made the impossible possible, with smiles as bright as the moon and enthusiasm beyond reasonable measure. ‘With my baby brother around, I feel like I can sprout wings and fly to another galaxy’, she chirped while they were on their way to the Moogle Chocobo Carnival. It might have been a crazy way to word it, but the spirit behind those words were the echoes of the others’ thoughts. Their feelings and memories. Not one of them, Cid included, could deny the magic behind a fusion between two worlds. Thanks to so many destinies colliding, so many little worlds were introduced to the light only Prompto could create. That warm, brilliant, blinding light Ardyn and Professor Hojo attempted to steal.Sitting beside the light that would not awaken, Cloud grimaced. So many expressions had erupted on his face as of late, erupting because of the light that stood against overpowering hate. Fury had been the latest eruption, sweeping through his chest with enough ferocity to incinerate a valley of stars in seconds. It was only a moment ago in which he was taken, their light, their warmth and sound, stolen by hands that knew only blood, and it was a moment he’d give anything to erase. Carving his heart out with a toothpick wouldn’t have been off that list.One, and only one human, one creature, had awakened such feelings in him.It was that moment, that lingering, crippling moment, that stole the breath out of him. While they were tangling with Sephiroth, two of the darkest wraiths initiated their attack. And before any of their hearts could take another beat, devastation spread like wildfire. There was almost too much to remember, too much to take in. Ignis, brave, wildly beautiful Ignis, lost his sight keeping Tifa and Noctis safe from Hojo’s newest creation. Red XIII’S home had been transformed into a barren wasteland, and of course there were the Oracles.Lady Lunafreya and Lady Aerith.It was strange, how much could be stolen in the blink of an eye.Relaxing for even a moment was complete and utter lunacy, which was apparent as a certain moment lived on, not at all willing to move him away from the darkness that had spread. It could’ve been hours, days or even weeks since they had brought Prompto home, back onto Cid’s beloved ship. It could’ve been months. It was a wasteland they had all been cast into, both of their worlds finally becoming one under a sky of heartbreak. Sorrow. Loss powerful enough to break mountains.At least their home among the stars had fallen silent. Tifa was on Prompto’s other side, asleep while sitting upright, equally determined to remain still. Having devoted her life to Marlene and Denzel, it seemed only natural for her to fall madly in love with Noctis’ little brother-and she did just that, vowing to protect him even if the heavens fell. Noctis, in the wake of weeping over Prompto, Ignis, and the women he had come to love like sisters, fell asleep beside Ignis. He was alone in his corner of the galaxy, surrounded by stars that shone because of the light that had fallen into his life.Shining because of the light he wanted to come home.He caressed the sleeping gunner’s face, tracing the contour of purity’s portrait. He hadn’t moved, hadn’t shed a tear, not wanting the strength Prompto believed in to disappear. Not even as Ignis, his friend, his brother, had his eyes taken from him. Not even when the young Oracles were revealed to be eternal pieces of the Lifestream. It was for his sake Cloud chose not to fall apart, wanting the photographer to have someone to hold onto, not wanting to lose what little of Prompto they had left. It was because of Prompto--his heart skipped a beat, suddenly becoming lighter than the stars that shone above them.A hand had gripped his, feeling, clinging onto any bit of warmth it could find. Cloud instinctively gripped the hand, surprise erupting just as so many other emotions had done. And it was in their corner of the stars their eyes met, one set filled with relief, happiness and love, the other filled with fear. Brokenness. Horror. “Hey,” a voice made of moonlight said, smiling, strangely warm and kind. “Iggy and Tifa whip up any breakfast yet? Sure am starved.”“Not yet,” Cloud shook his head, words springing to his lips unbidden, unrestrained by indecisiveness, the refusal to acknowledge the gifts life had to offer. Prompto’s hand was gripped even tighter. “Breakfast is on the way, though. Pancakes, right? Your favorite. They’re coming.”A tiny chuckle fell out of the photographer’s lips, accompanied by a set of eyes that had known pain but would only acknowledge light. “Can’t wait.”A million thoughts sprang to his mind, all of them frantic, revolving around Prompto and Ardyn and Hojo, damn that Hojo, damn the demons of Hell and all of their underlings, damn the gods for even letting a hair on the photographer’s head fall out of place. All of them screaming, demanding to be let out, for the sake of-Prompto.“Cloud?”“What?”“Thanks for waiting for me. Big sis too. Tell her thanks for me when she wakes up, okay?”“Sure.”“Gonna hafta t’catch some more z’s, but I’ll be up and at ‘em soon. Don’t worry too much about me, okay?”“Can’t make any promises.”“Hey, Cloud?”“What?”“You aren’t gonna leave me, right?”The spirit behind Cloud’s words left not an inch of doubt, colored with the emotion Prompto had breathed into his life. Colored with the blood he wanted to rip from a certain pair of bodies, come Hell or high water.“Not even if Ifrit threatens to burn me alive.”----------------------------------------He stepped through the doors with a heart beating as fast as lightning, hating himself for the moments he cherished, hating himself for being unable to stop the moments that never should have happened.He stepped through the doors and into a world that slept, far away from the devastation that had done so much damage in the earlier hours. A drop of relief rose in his chest; Noctis was still asleep, head resting against that of his advisor’s, with Yuffie on the other side of Ignis’ bed. The hands of the prince and young woman were intertwined, crossed over the master chef’s chest. Taking a deep breath, cup of steaming tea in hand, he stepped forward, taking great care not to disturb the delicate balance between precious moments and the moments yet to come.In that corner of the stars, a moment was born in which their eyes met. Ignis’ eyes had been taken from him, but the memory of those piercing eyes would never leave the Highwind’s captain. Their color and intensity were reborn in the span of a breath, striking him from the other end of the room. “Hey,” he said, breaking the silence with a breathless greeting.“Brought you some of this stuff yer crazy about. Y’know, some of th’ tea Miss Lockhart picked up a while back. Peppermint or somethin’ like that. Supposed t’ be good for ya.”Not wanting to disturb the weeping prince or his friend, much less Ignis, Cid stepped towards their tiny world with footsteps made of nimbus clouds. His heart became lighter than a feather the moment his hands touched those of the advisor’s, Ignis taking the tea cup from him. “Lemme know if it’s not right,” the pilot urged, hoping he sounded gentle, not at all wanting to sound like ‘an old fart’, as Yuffie constantly called him. If there was a time for gentleness, that night was it.“I’m no tea master or nothin’, but I won’t mind redoin’ anythin’. Anyways, how you holdin’ up?”Had to be dumbest question anyone in history would ever ask. It was at that moment, the moment in which he asked that question, Cid wished Ifrit would burn him off the face of existence. Especially since-“Just fine, thank you.”Ignis, true to form, decided to lie.“Well, I-”“Please. Don’t focus your concern on me. Think only of the others. They need you far more than I do.”A thousand questions rose to the rims of his mind and lips, all of them screaming, aching to get out. All of them focused on Ignis, the one devoted to but forever detached from everyone, forever working beyond his limits to help, to serve, to heal. All of them screaming, demanding to be let out for-“Who died and made you overlord? Can’t anyone ever look after YOU?”“I’d rather they didn’t.”“Well then, you can go screw yerself, pretty boy, because no one orders me around. Not even you.”And it was right outside he posted himself, sleeping upright, back against the doors that led to Ignis’ tiny world.Not a shred of doubt was left in the wake of unspoken truth, the truth growing stronger as the moments unfolded in a world that had seen too much heartbreak.
10476495	We Are Not Ourselves	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "The Joker, Bruce Wayne, Damian Wayne, Robin (DCU)", "Fandom": "Batman (Comics)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by DesdemonaKaylose", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-28T00:00:00", "words": "8,325", "Additional Tags": "Amnesia, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Identity Issues", "Relationship": "Joker (DCU)/Bruce Wayne", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "#48 verse", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	In his dream tonight, Jack watches the strange star expanding over the roofs of Gotham, black and bright like the heart of an angel. A heavenly darkness. It’s quiet, in his dream, and the sky seems to sigh above him. It’s pure in a way that he aches for, a destructive force that will burn the world to clean dry ashes. He watches it from the roof of the library, his heels swinging over the ruined streets below. When he wakes he will remember that this is his view from the night of Bloom’s terror, the first night that he spoke to Bruce, the first great Gotham Catastrophe since his awakening in the foam of sludge dragged up from that stygian cave.It different from his usual dreams, which are murky and chaotic and bring him to the brink of a nausea so intense that it can push him gasping up from the depths of sleep. This dream is clean. This dream is quiet. He looks down on the city and it is as peaceful as it is ruined.He wakes up blinking. He lifts a hand towards the phantom of the black star, fingers cold and bloodless in the darkness. The neon outside his window flashes, lighting up the heavy edges of his curtains. Is this a good omen or a bad omen? Should he be worried that the most peaceful dreams he can remember are the memories of the worst cataclysm he’s lived through?He rolls over. Practicality wins out; he’ll take whatever sleep he can get. “Who was it,” Jack asks the next day, as he bags a roast for Mrs. Calligan, “who took down Bloom? I mean, at the end of it?”If Mrs. Calligan has noticed that he’s marginally perkier than usual today, she hasn’t commented on it. She looks up from her phone and gives him an uncertain once-over. “Well Commissioner Gordon did, of course. There was an award ceremony and everything, don’t you have cable?”Jack has this lingering dissatisfaction even after getting his answer, so he asks the next customer too. Mr. Ballinger tells him it was Superman, but Mr. Ballinger also tells him it was a big cover up and not to trust the media and Jack decides that doesn’t sound quite right either. So, he asks Bruce.They’re in the park at the foot of Wayne Enterprises HQ, which will belong to Bruce once more just as soon as he finishes the paperwork he’s currently filling out. Jack is learning that his boyfriend is kind of a workaholic—there’s only one sort of person who will go from filling out paperwork in an office to filling out paperwork in the park below the office and call it a lunch break.“It was one of the robins, as I understand it,” Bruce says. His lips twitch, unhappily, reflecting for a moment some memory beyond Jack’s reach. “And the Commissioner, of course, but I have a feeling you wouldn’t be asking if that was all you meant.”“Which Robin?”“Would you know the difference?” Bruce asks, smiling briefly. It’s a relief to see that disconcerting little frown wiped away again.“No,” Jack admits. Still, this answer feels right in a way that the other answers didn’t, and so he lays it to rest. It’s become a Robin’s city in the last month or two anyways. There’s a flash of red on every corner.“Looks like I’ve got a CEO for a boyfriend after all,” Jack remarks instead, watching Bruce’s pen scratch across the signature line for yet another incomprehensible form. It looks tax related. “And after I’d just managed to resign myself to a future in exiled royalty.”“A working prince is a bit less romantic than an exiled prince,” Bruce says, without looking up. “Are you disappointed?”Jack tilts his head and looks Bruce over. When he’s working he seems fuller—not exactly happier, because he’s usually a happy guy, but more… himself. Like there’s more of himself to fill the body that he wears, the body that seems to have so many pockets sewn shut for good. Motion suits him.“Like I said,” Jack answers, “I can think of a couple good uses for a CEO.”Bruce smiles.In truth, Jack is uneasy. Bruce has his secrets, and Wayne Enterprises sure seems like it’s at the dark heart of those secrets. Whoever Bruce was before the accident, that distant unhappy specter, his life revolved around something behind those gilded doors. It makes Jack nervous to see another Bruce disappearing behind them once again.Another frown, this one more pronounced, draws Jack out of his musing. He nudges Bruce and gives him a curious look.Bruce tips the sheet of paper towards him so he can scan the contents. It’s a deed of inheritance, in case of Bruce’s death.“Richard Grayson?” Jack reads.“He’s a young man who lives in Bludhaven,” Bruce says, rolling his shoulders as if he can’t quite get comfortable against the park bench. “I took him in after his parents were killed. Apparently. He’s the one in the photo at the manor. I asked Alfred about it—actually I lost my temper a little bit, which wasn’t fair of me. He said that Dick—the kid goes by Dick—was presumed dead at the time of our accident. I guess he didn’t know how to tell me to mourn a child I don’t even remember.”It seems to Jack that every month he knows Bruce, the circle of people who were waiting for him to return grows exponentially. A sort of father, a sort of girlfriend, a sort of son—Bruce has a whole life behind him. A whole family around him, even now. Jack tries not to be petty about it, but his fists clench in his pockets even still. There was no one waiting for him.“All that time I was working with Jules’s kids,” Bruce murmurs, lost to his own gnawing thoughts, “and I had kids of my own out there.”Jack has been with him to the center, once or twice, because for the first month they knew each other it had seemed to be such a big part of his life. Lately, with the backlogs of unspoken conversations with Julia Powers—which Jack couldn’t begin to unweave—and the newly reappointed executive office, and the strange distraction that comes more and more over Bruce as he goes about the city, Jack hasn’t been back in a while. He watches the lines in Bruce’s forehead deepen, and thinks of the children that Bruce absolutely dotes on. It’s probably hard to go back there, knowing that he has a son of his own now, wondering how much of this he’s already done for a boy he can’t remember.“That’s… not the end of it, either,” Bruce admits. He looks over at Jack, chewing his lip like he’s trying to decide whether it’s safe to share a secret. For a man who claims to have so little to hide, Bruce has an inordinate amount of secrets. “There was another one—he’s still on some of the paperwork.”Bruce shuffles out what looks like the photocopy of a very old document. Listed under Richard Grayson there is a Jason Todd.“Jason is dead,” Bruce says, turning the paper back around. He runs a thumb over the faded signature , without seeming to notice himself doing it. “I checked. Accident abroad. I wouldn’t even know what he looked like, if it weren’t for the yearbook photo on his school’s website. And there’s a Tim Drake involved, somehow, as far as I can tell he’s alive but unreachable, and I worry—I’m sorry,” Bruce says, shoving the photocopy deep into the stack of forms. “I don’t want to unload on you. You have enough on your plate.”Jack watches him, taking him apart piece by piece. The hunched set of the shoulders say that he’s afraid he’s shared too much. The way his fingers move over the papers say that he wants to do something about it all, only there’s nothing he can do.“Lotta dead kids,” Jack says, at last.Bruce nods grimly. “I had—” he says, “a son. A biological one. If he’s not here then—I don’t know who his mother was but I hope—”Jack whistles. “Lotta dead kids.”“Statistically…” Bruce starts, and then he shakes his head. “If I hadn’t been in their lives, I’m sure they’d all still be alive and whole. I’m responsible for hurting these boys that I haven’t even met.”Jack tsks. “B-man, I’m not saying it isn’t unlucky, but you’re not any kind of serial childkiller. I think we’d know about that by now.”The late summer air goes dead and cold around Bruce, a wind from the north sweeps unseasonably over them. How long has Bruce been turning this over in his head? Surely he’s not that good at shutting Jack out, it can’t have been more than a week, can it?“I’m the common denominator,” Bruce says. “I took them up into my life and—”“Bruuuuuce,” Jack says, flopping over the back of the bench. “Come on. What, you think they smothered themselves in those huge fluffy beds you have? Maybe they overdosed on caviar? Golly, maybe they gave themselves heart attacks over how safe your security system is.”“No,” Bruce says, for once not rising to the bait. Usually that kind of absurdity would get at least a flicker of a smile. Today Bruce seems to be made of stone, and it’s that more than anything that sobers Jack.“Do you think you hurt them?” Jack asks, all the sarcasm draining out of his voice.“I—” Bruce says. He digs the heel of a palm into his eye. “No, that’s not it. I don’t think I did anything to them, I just—I put them in danger, I let things happen to them. I didn’t protect them. What kind of father…”Jack’s elbows are over the back of the bench, his left hand is just a finger’s width from Bruce’s shoulder. He almost reaches out. But he’s afraid to startle the man.“I don’t remember my parents,” Jack says. “You remember yours, a little. I guess you’d know better than me, but as far as I’m concerned—if I had to pick a father, I’d want a man like you.”Bruce manages to raise an eyebrow at him, a ghost of a smile somewhere in there. Jack rolls his eyes. “Yes, it’s very Freudian, please let me give you a somewhat creepy compliment in peace as is my custom.”The ghost smile dissolves. Bruce returns his faraway gaze to the far edge of the park, where the headless statue of Thomas Wayne is cheerfully collecting migratory birds. “I wouldn’t want a man like me. Not a man like whoever I was.”“Hey,” Jack says, “self pity isn’t cute.”He turns, catching Bruce’s cheek in one hand. He leans in close, searching the familiar lines of that body, the striking blue of those eyes. From nowhere in particular, his broken memory decides to remind him that all irises are blue underneath the layers of dark muscle above. Blue eyes are honest eyes.“Brucie, honey, you’re not a cruel man. No amount of missing memory is going to change that. You’re fundamentally a good man. Whatever mistakes that guy made, big as they might have been, I don’t think any version of you would have done something you didn’t honestly believe was the right and kind thing for another person.”Bruce looks away. Through the glove, Jack can’t feel whether his skin is hot or cold.“People look up to you,” Jack says. “Those kids you volunteer with. Gotham. Me. You know right from wrong. A lot of us aren’t that lucky.”Bruce doesn’t look convinced, but he does lean into Jack’s hand.“Didn’t you say the first one is still alive? See if he’ll talk to you.”“Maybe I’d rather not know,” Bruce says. He grimaces, his pretty features forced into a frown that looks both wrong and right on his face—wrong for the brightness of his eyes, for the kind of man he is. Right in a strange inevitable way, as if his face is anticipating wrinkles that haven’t yet burst to the surface.Jack brushes a loose strand of hair back off Bruce’s forehead and then lets go. “If you don’t wanna know then you don’t have to know. Decide which one it is and then own that. You and me, if there’s one good thing that came out of all this—” he gestures to both of them, the sky, the late summer afternoon, “—we get to decide who we are. Most people never get that chance. Most people wouldn’t know what to do with that choice if they did get it.”“Doesn’t it ever worry you?” Bruce says. “That the life you left behind—the you that you left behind—might have been terrible?”Jack tugs the hem of his glove down, tighter over his fingers. For a moment he can feel the cold walls of his apartment cinching down around him, with their nightmare shadows. “Sure,” he says. “Sometimes, I guess.” The way that Jack eventually meets Robin is the same way that he meets everyone these days, that is, because of Bruce. In celebration of Bruce finally getting the company back under his own name, six hundred of his closest friends (and Jack) are all invited to wander the newly renovated top floor of the headquarters, glittering in evening-wear. Jack sticks close to Bruce wherever possible. Every time he tries to have a conversation of his own, he says something that makes the other guests grimace into their wine. One nice young woman went positively white when he made an offhand joke about the who’s who of who’s getting robbed tonight. You’d think in a city like Gotham folks would be used to it. Maybe he’s missing some kind of social subtext here.Parties aren’t getting any easier. He’d walk over a landmine barefoot if it was where Bruce wanted to go, but the magazine-glossy smiles and the glittering chandeliers and Bruce’s canned laughter still run a nail up the easily-spooked knots of his spine. Bruce bought him a new outfit for these events, but he still feels glaringly out of place here, as if everyone can see the penniless outsider wearing through at the elbows of his sharp white suit.It’s the first Wayne Enterprises Gala since the Batman disappeared months ago. Bruce confided in him earlier, as he was tugging the knot of his tie closed, that he expected there to be some trouble before the night was out. Historically, there always was. Jack is finding it easy to pick the veterans out from the new blood—the veterans look very nice, but their glitter has the slightly plastic look of costume jewelry.He suspects that Bruce is actively testing his luck, trying to get a feel for the city as it is now by throwing himself and his company right into the chum-littered depths. Jack can’t imagine being anywhere else, while the man he loves is deliberately placing himself in such danger, but he also can’t stop looking up into the green glare of the parlor lights and remembering the last time he was in real physical danger. The scrape of metal along glass, the bleach and blood taste of fear toxin—when Bruce taps him on the arm to get his attention, the glass he’s holding tumbles and smashes on the carpet.Alfred gives him a terrible glare.Bruce catches his cheek in one broad hand, just briefly, as he checks for signs of an oncoming panic attack. Jack just shakes his head and gives him a weak smile. They’re getting good at reading each other now, but in all modesty, Jack was always pretty good at it.“Relax,” Bruce says, softly, “everything is going to be fine.”“I wish I had your confidence,” Jack mutters, but he waits until Bruce has already squeezed his arm and walked off to say it. Alone again in the glittering mass, Jack decides that he needs to retreat before he can start to feel anxious about letting one of the staff members clean up his ruined wineglass. He whips a rag off the belt of a passing waiter and presses it into the carpet, cranberry stains seeping up into the crisp white fabric. They look like mouths opening up, dark red mouths, sucking cancerous mouths—Another pair of white gloves gingerly but firmly peels his hands away from the stains (just stains again, all at once, only harmless stains), and Jack startles up to find himself face to face with Alfred. As usual, around Jack, his mouth is twisted into the faintest moue of distaste.“Please, Master Doe,” he says, and in his mouth the name always sounds a little like an accusation, “you’ll stain your gloves.”Jack snatches back his hands, where lo and behold pinpricks of red are spreading across the seams. Jack blushes with embarrassment and shoves them deep in his pockets as he stands. “Uh,” he says, “thanks.”“Don’t mention it,” says Alfred. He glances up at Jack for barely the fraction of a second, his gaze like a stone drill, relentless and cool. What is he looking at when he looks at Jack—into Jack, deep into places that even he can’t seem to pry open? Jack scans the room, and then he leans down, close enough to unspool a secret.“Did I—” he swallows, “Look. Did I know you, back before?”Alfred’s back stiffens, but his fingers continue to delicately free shards of glass from the carpet. “Why in the world would you think that?”Jack rocks back on his heels, looks at anything but Alfred. “I know, I know, what would I have been doing in a place like this, with people like these? But every time you look at me I feel like, heh, you’re peeling my skin off? Like maybe you’re looking for something in particular.”Alfred stands, and stands to attention. Folded in his gloved hands like the downy corpse of a bird is the stained white napkin, full of shattered crunchy glass. “This would have been a better conversation to have two months ago,” he says.“So you did know me,” Jack says. His tongue is dry in his mouth. The question that leaps to his cracking lips, as he steps closer, is, “When you knew me, before, were Bruce and me—were we—”There’s the faintest crunching sound from between Alfred’s hands. “You,” he says, “were obsessed. You were—dangerous. Deluded.”The lethal cocktail of anxiety and self loathing strikes him right between the ribs before he can even take a breath, with enough force to turn his stomach, to bring water to the corners of his eyes. He remembers the night under the overpass, the recognition like a meteor strike, the frightening outpour of love for a total stranger, so much sudden and endless love. He remembers Alfred’s shock and horror the night they were introduced. All the ugly jagged pieces click together into a hideous whole.“You were toxic,” Alfred is saying, with the same stone-faced stillness, but the undercurrent of his voice is growing more savage, more urgent, as he says, “You were a poison. You tore people apart to feed your own selfish obsessions; people that I loved, people that Bruce loved, and although I’m willing to pretend for his sake that a leopard might in fact change its spots, Master Doe, do not for one moment believe that I am ever more than a breath away if you take so much as one step out of line.”Jack is clutching his forehead, fingers threaded through his hair, looking at nothing now, at the floor maybe, at the blotches of cancerous red in the dead white thing Alfred is holding (Jack killed that too, with his clumsy broken hands—)The glass clinks and crunches against itself, and then there is the weight of Alfred’s hand on Jack’s shoulder. It’s not quite comforting, not quite; it’s distant, like the hand of a mostly absent father, but it is solid.“Come now,” Alfred says, the savage bitterness gone as quickly as it came, leaving not much behind. “Breathe. I don’t have any intention of talking about the past with Bruce.” With a sigh, he guides Jack back upright, pulling his own handkerchief from his pocket to wipe bubbles of panicked tears from Jack’s cheeks. “There’s a good man. Come on now. You may prove me wrong yet,” he murmurs.Jack absolutely despairs of everything; if he tried, he couldn't bring himself to so much as open his mouth. When Alfred is gone, he drags himself to a balcony and hangs over the edge, taking deep gulps of city air. He stays out there for a long time, the same loathsome wordless loop playing again and again. He should have known it was too good to be true—a thing like him, an apple rotting from its core out? Loved? He feels like a kidnapper who has woken to find his victim tightening their own ropes, like a thief who has gotten away with too much. The nausea doubles.Below him the lights of Gotham glitter green and gold. The perpetual sirens wail far away. This changes everything. Jack’s not deluded enough to imagine it doesn’t. He watches the headlights below march along their staggered way, slumping further and still further, his toes barely scraping the stone now.There’s a light thump on the ledge beside him. He pulls back far enough to see a hooded figure perched there, head tilted just so. It’s a boy.“You had better not jump,” the boy says. “I won’t catch you,” he adds, eyes narrowing behind his domino mask.“I wasn’t,” Jack says, a buzz of guilt down the back of his spine. Was he? He’s not sure. “Are you a robin?” Jack asks him, sliding down until his heels are once again flat to the ground.The boy snorts. “I am Robin,” he says. “There’s only one real Robin.”Jack gets the distinct impression that this is not an argument he had better get involved in if he likes all his knuckles to remain where they are in his body. “Well,” he says, “what brings Robin up here on a night like tonight?”Robin folds his arms over his crouched knees, gaze sliding to the world of warmth and light beyond the double doors. “Wayne,” he says. “Throwing this party is like hanging a slab of meat over an alligator tank.”“I was thinking that too,” Jack says quietly. For a moment they watch the hectic glow of the party from their dark perch in silence, sharing a single wordless dread, until Jack physically shakes it off. “But Bruce says we’ll be perfectly safe, as long as we go with the flow.”“You’re his boyfriend,” Robin says, as if he’s just remembering something important. “Why in the world would he let you into a party that’s bound to be sieged?”It doesn’t surprise Jack much that the Robins know about his relationship with Gotham’s most valuable billionaire. It’s something of an open secret anyways. “Let me?” Jack echoes. He cracks a smile, although it still feels a little sick with acid. “He couldn’t keep me out if he tried.”From the pockets of his coat Jack draws his pistol, spinning it between his thumb and forefinger like a gunslinger from a western, and he turns his grin on Robin who, to his credit, does a pretty good job of pretending the throwing star suddenly in his fist has nothing to do with any of this.The grin fades. What right does he have to be pleased with himself now, knowing what he knows about them both, knowing what Bruce doesn’t yet know?Robin is eyeing him. “Don’t you think about it,” he says. “You take one step towards that ledge and I’ll break your knees.”“I wasn’t,” Jack sighs, but he puts his hands up anyway.“What’ve you got to be sorry about, anyways?” Robin sniffs. “Most of the females in Gotham would kill to be you right now. Even with the inevitable robbery tonight.”“I don’t think you’re old enough to understand.”Robin bristles. “Is it a sex thing?” he says. “Because I know about sex thank you very much. And it’s certainly not worth throwing yourself off a building for.”Jack slumps until his shoulders are level with his ears. “That I could deal with.”Robin rolls his eyes. “So whatever it is,” he says, “go talk to him about it. You’ve only got a couple minutes before something goes spectacularly wrong, so you had better talk fast.”The small hand that thumps Jack across the shoulders has enough force behind it to propel him across the balcony and through the doors, into the chatter and shine of the party, which carries on all around him like a wind up tableau. He ducks between the guest’s glittering paths. They are strange, ghostly—or maybe he’s the ghost, a whisper of cold wind blowing through a hall. He gets as far as the steps where Bruce is standing, laughing with a stranger; he gets just far enough to see Bruce look up and begin to smile, and then the doors are blown in.Guests scatter, falling across the floor and ducking into alcoves, clutching their heads like children from a nuclear safety PSA. Jack falls to a knee, covering his eyes in the crux of his elbow as shards of wood batter the floor around him. In the lavender smoke that pours through the newly opened door, Black Mask adjusts his cufflinks. A flood of his goons spill into the room, armed to the teeth and visored above that, a wall of perfectly anonymous armor plated meat. Black Mask flicks splinters from his shoulders.“Hello Ladies and Gentlemen,” he says, strolling up the wide steps and onto the floor. “It’s good to see you all again after so long. I seem to have lost my invitation on the way here, but I think you’ll find me an unobtrusive guest all the same.”Around the edges of the room, a fair number of figures sigh and unclasp their earrings, dutifully unstrapping their Rolexes and slumping against the wall to wait. Jack doesn’t get up. The energy that propelled him across the floor thus far, borrowed from the boy on the sill, sputters and evaporates, and Jack falls back across the carpet about as energetic as a corpse.The window bangs open as Robin dives through it. Jack watches the vague shadow play of action on the ceiling, half tuned into the sounds of evacuation and a panic for once not his own. A throwing knife embeds itself in the floor beside his head. There’s gunfire, Robin crowing as he swoops down from the chandelier, Black Mask howling orders at his men—Jack only half notices any of it. It’s only when he feels a heaviness against his shoulder that he finally turns his head enough to notice Bruce, trench-crawling on his elbows to Jack’s side.“Hello again,” Jack says. “You should take cover.”“I could tell you the same thing,” Bruce hisses. “What the hell are you doing out here?”Jack absently reaches up and pulls free the throwing knife embedded beside his ear. “B-man, have you considered that maybe you wouldn’t like me if you hadn’t lost your memories?”Bruce groans, even as he carefully places his own back between Jack and the smoking, popping chaos of the room. Jack has this inane urge to boop their noses together.“If you want to talk about this,” Bruce says, “let’s at least do it somewhere out of the line of fire?”Whumph. The chandelier crackles. The floors shake. Bruce buries his face in Jack’s neck, his hand quickly wrapping around the back of Jack’s skull. Black Mask shouts, rapid fire now and urgent, not dramatic. It’s hard to tell where Robin is. Jack can’t see anything over Bruce’s shoulder, but he can hear the click-thump of machinery, and then the deafening roar of suppressing fire.His ears are still ringing when Bruce is jerked off of him. He watches it like a silent movie, barely comprehending the change. It takes three henchmen to pry Bruce free. Jack watches him straining in their grip, his mouth drawing back into a snarl. His perfect white teeth. His broad shoulders, pushing the limits of his beautiful dinner jacket.What an odd view…They pull Jack to his feet too, after a ringing mute moment, iron grips and professional disinterest. He can kind of make out what Bruce is saying, snapping terse as he struggles against the men pinning his shoulders back. He’s saying they had better leave Jack out of this. It occurs to Jack that he’s especially beautiful when he’s roiling with anger—he burns like the sun, his charisma goes thermonuclear. Jack smiles dreamily, resting his cheek on the shoulder of a nearby henchman.Someone must answer Bruce, because he throws himself forward, talking loud enough now that Jack can hear every word out of his mouth. It’s so sweet that he’s worrying. It honestly makes Jack feel like someone has stuffed his chest with powdered sugar.“Hey,” Jack says, with a reassuring smile. His voice is faint in his own ears. “I’m fine. Take it easy, big guy.”At last, as Bruce is cooling off infinitesimally, Jack gets his first look at the villain. She’s kitted up in a flak jacket and a long coat, spirals of white teeth painted around the visor of her round helmet. As she comes to a halt in front of him, she reaches out and jabs his soft middle with one of her long black nails. He giggles nervously.She’s too muffled by her helmet to make out, but whatever she says, it takes the fight right out of Bruce. The henchmen drop Jack. He stumbles a step, collects himself, and pauses to wiggle a pinky in his ear. “Did you do something heroic?” he asks Bruce, a little amused despite himself.“You’ll be fine now,” Bruce says. “I’m cooperating.”Jack considers this. He shoves his hands in his pockets. As much as he’s enjoying this outpouring of affection, he can’t stop himself from thinking of the conversation that awaits them both, after all this is done. He can’t bear the thought of Bruce putting himself in danger for Jack’s sake without even knowing—with the very real possibility that he’ll come to regret this by the end of the night. Jack doesn’t deserve any of this. He feels like a parasite, like a cuckoo bird in the nest of a sweet foolish robin.The woman in the visor with the gaping painted maw has already lost interest in him—she’s snapping at her employees, directing the clean-up as they drag Black Mask off into a coat closet, presumably still alive. Jack winks at Bruce. Bruce has just enough time to widen his eyes in the space between Jack drawing his gun and spinning the chamber, just long enough to begin to shout before the firing pin drops.It was a good try, but unfortunately, Jack forgot to account for the flak jacket. In a cavern underneath the edge of town, chair tied to the back of Bruce’s chair, Jack lets out a chagrinned little sigh.“Sorry about that,” he says to the darkness, “I guess I’m not used to heroics.”There’s a surprised little laugh, a breath in the emptiness. “We sure fumbled that one,” Bruce agrees, sounding tired but no worse for the wear. “Next time, let me follow through on my big sacrifice.”“But you’re already so good at it,” Jack says. “Come on coach, put me in the game.”He can hear Bruce smiling as he says, “Do you think next time we should flip a coin to see who gets to be the hero?”In the silence that follows Bruce’s soft laughter, Jack’s grin begins to fade. “Look, darling,” he says, “we gotta talk about something.”There’s a creak as Bruce slumps or settles into his own seat. “You sure you don’t want to wait until Scylla is in jail to do this? Or at least until someone unties us?”“Honestly, Bruce? I’m having trouble thinking about anything else. I’m not gonna be good company.”“Alright. Go ahead then.”Jack contemplates the darkness for a moment, turning the words over in his head. The faint green glow of the tech in the next cavern over is giving him an uncomfortable sense of déjà vu.“It’s just,” he says. “Alfred said we knew each other before the accident.”The cavern is quiet. “Did he?” Bruce murmurs.“I have to wonder—” Jack swallows, “—what are the chances of a guy like me and a guy like you having anything to do with each other?”He can feel Bruce shrugging. “Statistically, lightning is much more likely to strike the same target twice. We like each other now, and I’m sure we haven’t changed that much.”Jack huffs. “That’s not what I’m talking about.”“Then what are you talking about?”“Alfred didn’t make it sound pretty. And I’m just some—some nobody, some vagrant, not even a real butcher. And you’re a celebrity? You gotta hear how that sounds.”“You think you were my stalker, Jack?”“What if all—this—” Jack wiggles his fingers in his bindings, “isn’t head trauma? What if I’ve always been a headcase? Jeeze, what if I used to be worse?”“Jack, I think this is the paranoia talking here. If you were stalking me, there would be records. Police files. Restraining orders. We’d at least have turned up your identity by now.”“Unless you didn’t know it,” Jack says, grimly.Water is dripping somewhere in the anterior chamber. Was the cavern that the rescue teams dragged them up from like this one? Jack tries to imagine the conversation they might have had in that dire darkness, the two of them, after the earth fell in. What the people they had been would have talked about. He’s never before considered that they might have been in that park for the same reason, that they might have been found in the same place together by more than cosmic coincidence.“Alright,” Bruce says, at last. “We’re going to lean into the curve here. Let’s assume you’re right. What do we do about it?”“It doesn’t bother you?”“Jack. I love you.”Jack shivers.“I know you worry that you’re not a good person, or that your mental illness is going to get someone hurt. Okay, I know about all that. And let’s say maybe you’re not, and maybe it will. But maybe I’ve hurt people too, and maybe I’m not a good person either.”“That’s not the same,” Jack mutters.“I love you,” Bruce pushes on, “and if you loved me before then I’m certain that I loved you too. I know you, Jack, and when you love something you throw your whole self into it. It’s the best part of you. No matter who we were, or what we meant ourselves to be, I know I couldn’t watch you loving me without loving you in return.”In the distance, warped by echo and reverb, there’s a pop as if something electronic has been doused in water, and then distant cacophony.“That’ll be the robins,” Bruce notes. “They made better time than I hoped, sooooo either they’re extremely interested in Scylla or extremely interested in me, which is a little bit intimidating.”Jack is still trying to rub tear tracks off on his shoulder, with little luck. A shadow appears at the barred iron gate. It whistles. “Wow,” it says, “I know it’s hard to beat the classics but this security system is practically medieval.”“Is that good?” Bruce calls out.The robin at the gate shakes their head, more amused than worried. “Kind of hard to hack an iron gate, except in the literal sense. Hang on a tick, I need to find a chainsaw.”“Take your time,” Bruce says. There’s a shift of cloth, and then the back of his head meets Jack’s, with a tired but companionable pressure. “I’m just going to rest here a little while,” he says, “with my friend.” They’re leaving the cavern, trailing a ways behind the leaping figures of a couple dauntless robins, when the earth starts to shake. Pebbles skitter free from the ceiling. Without thinking, Jack grabs for Bruce’s hand.“That’s not good,” one robin says to the other, eyeing the stalactites that loom all down the length of the corridor. The second robin holds his wrist to his mouth and says, “Duke to Damian, what’s going on with Scylla?”The tiny small voice comes through after a moment, “Code names! And she’s not doing anything. I’ve got her right here.”The robin—Duke, presumably—looks back at Bruce. He looks urgent, expectant, and then all of a sudden it’s as if a shutter falls over his expression. “10-4,” he says into the communicator. “Keep her secure. I’m heading up to assess the situation.”Over the static grumbling that comes through in response, the first robin aims her flashlight at the ceiling and says, “You remember what I was saying about Scylla and Charybdis being a matched pair?”“I remember,” Duke says grimly.The next shudder through the earth brings down a buckshot scattering of stalactites, plowing up clouds of cold shrapnel. Bruce drags Jack back into the curve of a wall just in time to avoid the collapse. His arm is up over Jack, his hand clutching the back of Jack’s head again—automatically, precisely the same motion as before, like something drilled. From below them, back the way they’ve come, there is an alarming amount of slithering and rattling going on.“I don’t think I want to know what that is,” Bruce says, breathing hard.“I’ll pass too,” Jack says.Bruce takes his hand and pulls him over the wreckage of the collapsing cavern, effortlessly lifting him up onto the rubble when the wreckage grows too thick to bypass. At his side, as Bruce scans the floor for a solid place to put their feet next, Jack scans the darkness behind them like a sailor in an old cartoon, a hand to his forehead. He whistles at something in the far darkness, moving up laboriously into the light. “Thar she blows,” he remarks. At the first sight of a huge knotted hand scrabbling up through the rubble, Jack turns on his heel, loops his elbow under Bruce’s, and takes a running leap at the next lump of shadow. They land in a stumble, sliding over loose stone shrapnel—Bruce catches him by the lapel, just before his heel can slip off the side, and reels him back in.“We can’t keep doing that,” Bruce says, worry creasing his forehead. “One of us is going to slip.”Jack takes another look at the thing pulling itself up from the deeps behind them. “You catch me,” he says, “I’ll catch you.”“I don’t think—”“Come on!” He slaps a palm to the ruined breast of Bruce’s dinner jacket, flashing a roguish grin. “I’ll bet that body of yours remembers a thing or two about base jumping!”Bruce looks like he’s about to protest, but at the wretched howl of the thing behind them, he gives up. They take a running leap. Yard by yard, they scramble to gain ground, shedding shoes and jackets as they go. Bruce gets a loafer stuck in a crack and abandons it with barely a pause to swear at the loss. The weird part is that even coated in dust and sweating through his dress shirt, this is probably the best Jack has felt in months. He lands first on the one ahead and takes Bruce’s hand in mid-fall, swinging him down into the embrace of a waltz, laughing as they go around again, laughing as he disengages for the next leap.Charybdis claws at the walls below with her huge claws, glittering bands around fingers as blue and heavy as the stone itself.The light of the foremost cavern is growing as they close the distance. Ahead they can hear robins shouting, the sound of gunfire. It won’t be much safer up there, but at least they’ll be able to see the floor. Bruce isn’t laughing but he is bright again, as he allows himself to be pulled into the steps of Jack’s increasingly reckless tread, into the flourishes and the staged gaffes. They dance out from underneath falling wreckage as smoothly as the figures of a clockwork music box, and straight into the arms of robins reaching down to them, hands outstretched.They emerge into green light and gunfire, sliding along the curve of the wall, behind the sparking remains of some old fashioned super computer.“The other one’s down there,” Bruce whispers to the robins. “It’s big.”“How big,” the robin ahead of them asks.“Have you seen killer croc?”“Briefly, sure.”“Bigger.”Bruce is eyeing the cave through each gap in the circuitry. He seems far away, far away in the same way the sun is—thermonuclear and awesome, just close enough for you to feel the force of it. He points at the billowy stone deposits along the rim of the high ceilings. “If those come down they’ll block the entrance. Get two robins up there to knock it loose, and have someone cut the line to the electronics. They’ve got to be using a generator, this tech is too old to be wireless. They’re using semi automatic weapons which means they have to aim. How many of you have night vision?”“Damien,” the robin says, immediately.“Damien leads the charge. Get him on coms and have him orient the team. At close quarters it should be difficult but possible to subdue blind targets. Best if you can turn the lights back on afterward. Warn Damien and have them pull the plug rather than cutting the wire if at all possible.”The robin who, in the light, Jack can identify as Duke again, gives Bruce a wry little smile. It’s not quite pleasant on his lips. He glances down at his communicator. “You get all that?”“10-4,” a tiny voice answers.“Gee, Bruce,” Jack says, throwing an elbow over his boyfriend’s shoulder, “you’re a natural, huh?”Duke’s wry grin becomes a grimace. “You two stay here,” he tells them. “Civilians to the back.”“Hmmm,” Jack says, watching the kid retreat. “I’m sensing some familiarity here.”“Just another person I’ve disappointed,” Bruce mutters. “Come on, let’s keep moving forward.”“Rebellious. I like it.”Bruce takes his hand, although it’s not the most efficient way to move, and they advance.“I feel like we could do more of this,” Jack muses. “Adventuring. Venturing? I mean, you’re a wealthy orphan and I’m your goofy but loveable companion, we’re a recipe for syndication. We’d never run out of caves in this town, I’ll tell you that much.”The lights cut out. In the ensuing blackness there is only the muzzle flash of firing guns, the faint blinking lights of dying circuits, and—most worryingly—a faint glow from the cavern behind them.“They haven’t brought down the ceiling yet,” Bruce mutters. “Yes, they could catch more of the enemy unaware with the rock fall in the dark, but the chance of injuring an ally—”Jack doesn’t catch the rest. He’s watching the growing glow behind them, green green green, watching as the liquid bioluminescent eye of Charybdis emerges above the rubble.“Too late!” he says. He tightens his grip on Bruce’s hand and rushes ahead, one hand against the wall to keep from getting too lost. The robins are noticing what he’s noticed, all at once, and the sound of it is ugly. He trips over some mechanical guts in his haste, dragging Bruce down with him, and they tumble through a nest of wires still hot with loose sparks. Edges of warm metal tear through Jack’s gloves and pop the skin underneath.“Remind me to schedule a tetanus shot,” Jack mutters, as he works his hands free. He’s in pain, but the pain is coming to him like a shadow thrown against a curtain.Charybdis levers herself into the room one monstrous shoulder at a time. Her green eyes roll, taking in the darkness and settling at last on the two figures closest to her reach. Jack swallows thickly. Bruce is still on the ground. From the sound of it he’s trying to pry something much more painful from the wreckage than just his hand. As he struggles against the mess, Jack stands alone underneath the blazing attention of the creature before him. He is barely taller than her bent forearms, glittering and clinking with bangles. He peers up into her eyes, quick shuttering down the middle like double doors, and he thinks of shouting. Help would come. Those kids are fast ones. He’s ninety percent sure they’d get to him before the enraged monster did, and he’d take that chance if it was just him, but as long as Bruce is on the ground—He’s unarmed. He kind of doubts bullets would make her anything more than angry, anyways.The moment lasts a hundred years, as he stands below her, looking up into her mad alien eyes. It’s crazy to feel kinship with a ten foot tall glowing predator, but that’s what he feels. He has no idea what she wants. He has no idea where she comes from. But the monster in him recognizes her, her size and her power and her aloneness, and her mad green eyes.“Good evening, madam,” he says, taking a deep old fashioned bow.Her sideways eyes blink-shutter. There’s nothing for the most awful moment, and then like a switch flipping on, there is comprehension.“Yess,” she says, as if she is heaving words up from the depths of her lungs. “It— is.”When the lights come on again, she has found somewhere else to be. Much later, in the ambulance parked below the cave entrance, Bruce accepts a shock blanket from a nervous EMT. Jack already has his tied around his neck like a cape, and his head laid in Bruce’s lap. He holds his hands above his face, watching the blood spots that have spread over the ragged white cloth. He’s reminded of Alfred’s wine-stained napkin.“Alfred said it was pretty bad,” Jack says, quietly. “Me. Us.”Bruce runs a hand through the tangles in Jack’s hair. He’s watching the clean up with interest, his eyes particularly drawn to the confident figure of Duke the Robin, who spends as much time debriefing the commissioner as he does bodily dragging wounded henchmen out of the earth, throwing his hand in with the GCPD uniforms.“Toxic,” Jack adds, grimacing.Bruce pauses.A few feet away, someone is bagging the shattered remains of Scylla’s helmet as evidence. Something tells Jack that Gotham hasn’t seen the last of her or her monster yet. He wonders how loyal her henchmen are.“This is really bothering you,” Bruce says, in that thoughtful voice he uses to outline business problems.“It oughta bother you too.”“I’m more bothered that Alfred told you and didn’t bother to tell me. I don’t know, Jack,” Bruce says, “I don’t know what to make of it either.”“I know what to make of it,” Jack says. He peels his gloves off one by one, breaking the seal of dried blood. “I’ve hurt you before. I don’t want to hurt you again. I’m—Bruce, I’m terrified of hurting you again. I’ve always been so afraid of hurting, and now I’m starting to understand why…”The thing is, he knows he should leave. He should leave before he does something he’ll regret forever, but he’s not selfless enough. He’s not good enough, not brave enough to inflict that kind of pain on himself. He presses his thumb to the wound in his palm, squeezing until blood starts to roll onto the caked dust. Bruce gently pries his hands away from each other.“You don’t want to hurt me,” Bruce says. “So don’t,” he says.“You know it doesn’t work like that,” Jack says, pulling a face.“I know it works like this,” Bruce says. “You hurt me, I tell you so, and you stop doing it. You do the same for me. Like real people, Jack. You and me.”“Real people,” Jack echoes. Are they real people? Sometimes they feel like the only two real people in the world, and that’s so dangerous. That’s where madness starts.“We get to decide who we are,” Bruce reminds him. “We’re not those people, if we don’t want to be.”Jack says nothing for a while. It’s hard to take your own advice.“Hey. You were amazing with that monster,” Bruce says, changing the subject. “How did you do that? You’re the dragon whisperer.”“I think,” Jack says, “with some monsters, they just want someone to see them.”“That so?” Jack carefully folds his ruined gloves, and lays them beside his head. “Sure,” he says. “It’s hard to be alone in the world.”“I know,” Bruce says, seriously. Then, leaning in, “But hey, that’s why we’ve got each other, huh?”Love overwhelms Jack, as fresh and bottomless as the first night he spotted Bruce in the yellow light of that overpass. I’m in love, he thinks. I am in love again, and again, and again. How could I know you and not love you? How could anyone? How could any me?“Lucky thing,” he agrees.
10469808	Westerosi Irony	{ "Archive Warning": "Major Character Death", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Aegon VI Targaryen, Jon Snow, Daenerys Targaryen", "Fandom": "A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by The_Admiral (orphan_account)", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-27T00:00:00", "words": "897", "Additional Tags": null, "Relationship": "Jon Snow/Daenerys Targaryen", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	I “Brother, please,” Jon pleaded before the man he had once loved fully as both a brother and his closest friend. “I beg of you, do not do this to me or to her,” To his side, Daenerys was sobbing gently into his shoulder, yet the King’s lilac eyes were still resolute and his face, akin to those of an ancient sculpture of the dragonlords of old appeared to be carved out of cold marble. “Jon, Daenerys has a duty to the realm, and so do you. Father’s reign brought peace and stability to a broken realm, but the Baratheons and Tullys still have not forgiven us for the death of Robert Baratheon, and Hoster Tully on the Trident,” “I love her, Aegon,” Jon heard his voice crack as he uttered out. “Please.” He saw uncertainty flash through Aegon’s otherwise neutral eyes briefly, but the emotion disappeared in a matter of seconds, returning to the steely, resolved look. “I’m sorry, Jon” II They made love madly that night, for they both knew it would soon be the last time, and they would be separated from one another. As Dany lay next to him, he could feel her tears upon the bare skin of his shoulders, rolling slowly down to his chest. He felt his own ones run like rivulets down his cheeks, and although it was pitch black in his chambers, both knew the other’s emotions, but neither said a word to one another. III When the day came for Daenerys to be wed to Lord Stannis Baratheon’s cold son, Jon did not show up at court, to the delight of the court rumormongers. Later, when Aegon confronted him about it in a mad fury, Jon had simply walked out of the room as his brother raged, but not before stunning him into silence with a simple, uttered line, “Another King’s brother rose up for the first Daenerys as well.” IV The North had rallied behind the only son of their winter rose, and so had many of Jon’s friends at court, along with many other lords, great and small across the realm. While Aegon was the son of the a universally loved king, his alliance and offering of Daenerys to the Baratheon rebels had enraged many of the conservative lords in the realm, even the staunch and steadfast Jon Connington, who Jon now counted as his own banners. In the waning days of summer, they had rallied together at Summerhall, and now were marching to the Stormlands, where Aegon’s own stormlords were mustering by the tens of thousands. Winter is coming, brother. V When Jon’s lancers shattered the unprepared pikemen of the loyalist army, and his van, flying his white dragon upon black, had devastated the archers, the Stormlords had fled by the thousands, the painful memories of another absolute defeat in the cold waters of the Trident some five-and-thirty years prior rushing through the memories of the knights, soldiers and lords old enough to remember. As the Northmen under his cousin Robb cheered by his side, he saw a knight clad completely in black plate-mail, bearing a crimson roaring three-headed dragon on the helm, and rubies in the chestplate ride hard to his position. To the sides of the riders were seven knights, clad in white, forming a diamond formation. They cut through Jon’s front lines with ease, and Jon saw the movement for what it was before any around him realized. A challenge. Drawing his personal blade, composed of a half-castle-forged steel half-Valyrian steel alloy his father had gifted to both him and the brother he once loved in what seemed like a lifetime ago, he called for his own small guard, and rallying behind him with a great battle cry, they charged. VI As the blades of the two kings met in an otherwise unimportant field in an unimportant fief, the song of steel fluttered through the morning air, it’s metallic melody echoing throughout the plains for all to hear. “ Why, Jon?” he heard his opponent scream out at him. “I loved you!” To his side, Jon saw one of the Aegon’s Dornish knights fall to the axe of one of Robb’s northern clansmen. He parried another blow, before replying simply. “I loved her ,” VII Seven. Seven gods. Seven kingdoms. Seven knights who fell that day, three Kingsguard and four of Jon’s own northern knights, who were too slow, or too careless in the whirlwind of blades, and fell to the ground in a heap of their own blood, before the duel was finally over. There was no great final blow, no valiant last stand. There was only treachery. Jon saw the betrayal happen in a series of slow movements. The stormlords behind Aegon rallying to form a single line, moving their archers forward and loosing a downpour of arrows which rained death upon the ranks of the king they had sworn their swords to. He screamed out a warning to Aegon, for he was still the brother he chose and the brother he loved, but it was far too late. The only thing he could do was dismount his dying horse, and hold his brother in his arms as the life ebbed away from him. The rain began to pour as the battle lines disintegrated, as if the heavens were mourning alongside Jon for the brother he had never wanted to betray.
10462821	Liquid Kryptonite	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "F/F", "Characters": "Kara Danvers, Lena Luthor", "Fandom": "Supergirl (TV 2015)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by theduckninja", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-27T00:00:00", "words": "1,259", "Additional Tags": "Kara blows out her powers and gets sick, she really hates medicine, married!supercorp, married kara and lena", "Relationship": "Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "Through The Years", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Kara felt it the moment it happened. Her powers were worn out again. At least this time, she was aware.“Kara, are you ok?” Winn asked over the comm.Alex looked over concerned. “I’m fine, I blew out my powers again. Anyone care to give me a ride home? Lena will offer you some dinner in return.”She walked into the apartment finding Lena frowning as she typed away on her laptop at the table. She set down the duffle bag that had the Supergirl suit in it because it was too hot to wear under her clothes. She cleared her throat as it went dry at seeing her wife.“Kara, I know you’re there. Give me about three minutes and I’ll welcome you properly.” Lena said without looking up just typing possibly faster.“Ok, I’m going to change then.” Kara took off her glasses and put them on the table before walking to the bedroom changing into her sweatpants and one of Lena’s old shirts, which was way too big for Lena. She walked back into the main room to find Lena proofreading her email. Kara looked around for something to eat noticing that Lena hadn’t made anything.Lena closed her laptop after sending the email. She looked up to watch Kara look through the cabinets. “I’m getting the idea that you’re hungry.”Kara stopped searching and let out a shaky laugh, “Yeah, blowing out your powers does that. To be fair, even if I hadn’t, I would still be hungry.”“You what?” Lena asked shocked. “How?”“Stress?”“Kara, has Snapper been that bad?” Lena walked over to her and grabbed her hands. She knew that Kara had been stressed over Snapper making her rewrite everything.“It’s not just Snapper. Everything from CADMUS to us has been stressing me out.”Lena didn’t expect their relationship to be included on the stress list, but she also had a feeling that it would. The thing with Mon-El had put a temporary strain but nothing to do major damage. “Kara.”“Lena, I didn’t mean to say that you were stressing me out.”“Don’t protect my feelings.” Lena demanded. “I love you, just tell me what’s been bothering you.”“Can we get something to eat and I’ll explain.”They were sitting on the couch with the tv playing in the background. Kara was in between Lena’s legs with her back leaning on Lena. They had talked about what had Kara stressed out in between bites. Kara was finishing her food while Lena sat uneasy with her head leaning on Kara’s.Kara sensed Lena’s uneasiness. “Lena, I love you so much. Don’t think that you’ve done something wrong. The reason I’m stressed about us is because of me.”“What?”Kara sighed as she ate the last potsticker. “I feel like I’m not anything like I used to. I feel like I put you in the backseat.” Kara sat up so she could turn and face her. “You’re supposed to come first. You’re my wife, and I don’t pay attention to you even remotely close to how I used to be in college.”“Kara,” Lena grabbed her hands. “No, you’re not how you used to be, but neither am I. We’ve grown as the years went by. We can’t be like how we were in college because I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t leave the apartment most days.” Kara blushed. “I know you have your duties as Supergirl, and I know if I had a problem with that, we can have a healthy conversation about it. You know you can talk to me about anything.”“I’m sorry I didn’t speak sooner.”“I love you.” Lena kissed her.Kara smiled after they parted, “I love you too.”“Are you hungry for desert?” Lena asked leaning in to kiss Kara’s neck.“I don’t know, I don’t have all my hunger at the moment.” Lena backed away and gave her a look. “Can you go back to kissing my neck?” Lena smiled before going back. The next morning, Lena woke up hearing Kara cough loudly repeatedly. She then felt the loss of warmth that she was familiar to. Kara had bunched up her half of the comforter to keep Lena asleep. The comforter had been a foreign thing for Kara and became one for Lena after they had moved in together.Lena got out of bed to search for her wife finding her laying on the couch trying to suppress the coughing with a blanket.Kara looked upset to see Lena up, “Did I wake you?”“Eventually the coldness would’ve.” Lena walked over to feel Kara’s head. “How does it feel to be sick?”Kara coughed again while turning her head away from Lena. “I don’t want to get you sick too.”“Kara, you’re acting like you have the flu. This is just a cold.” Kara coughed louder. “I can have Alex come over and take a look.”“No, I don’t want her infected too.”Lena walked out of Kara’s vision. Kara coughed before rubbing her nose then drank some water that was on the coffee table. She took a sip before spitting it out on to the couch.Lena came back just in time to see that, “You know I was drinking that last night, right?”Kara could see Lena holding something. “What’s that?”“You’re going to drink this, then we’re going to go back to bed and sleep for a few more hours.” She handed Kara the medicine.Kara sat up, tipped the drink into her mouth, and the moment the first drop hit her tongue, she dropped the cup of liquid spilling it everywhere and spitting it out on Lena. She looked up at Lena, “What the hell was that?”“It’s called medicine. You’re supposed to ingest it to make yourself feel better.” Lena said feeling disgusting by having Kara spit all over her.“No way that’s supposed to make you feel better!”“Kara, I take this all the time when I’m sick. You’ve literally have given me this before.”“I’m sorry for giving you liquid kryptonite. This is just foul!” Lena laughed. “There’s no way this helps you get better.”“Kara, go back to bed. I’m going to clean up. If you’re not going to take your medicine then you’re just going to have to sleep it off.” Lena grabbed Kara’s arm dragging her back to bed. Once she threw Kara back into bed, she turned to go take a shower to get her wife’s spit off of her.Kara grabbed her arm before she could make her getaway and pulled Lena back into bed with her. “You’re going to stay right here with me.” Kara cuddled Lena and placed a light kiss on Lena’s neck. “Nap time.”“Kara, I have to wash the sheets now. I need a shower.”Kara gripped Lena tighter, “Later, I’m sick.” Kara coughed to try to win Lena over.“Kara, I love you, I really do, but I’m covered in your spit!”“I don’t care.” Kara coughed on Lena.“Kara,” Lena groaned knowing that Kara was nearly asleep already. A long shower and hours later, Kara was eating some soup while she sat with Lena who was eating a grilled cheese. Her cough eased up and her nose was clearing up. The soup was helping with her sore throat. She felt bad for spitting on Lena this morning, but the medicine was just awful.“I’m sorry for the spit this morning.”“It’s fine.”“No, it’s not. I know you don’t mind-““I put the medicine in your soup.”
10488594	The Scars we Hide The	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": null, "Characters": "Jeon Jungkook, Park Jimin (BTS), Kim Taehyung \| V, Kim Namjoon \| Rap Monster, Kim Seokjin \| Jin, Min Yoongi \| Suga, Jung Hoseok \| J-Hope, Original Characters, Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s)", "Fandom": "방탄소년단 \| Bangtan Boys \| BTS", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by Anonymous", "chapters": "2/5", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-29T00:00:00", "words": "6,467", "Additional Tags": "Angst, One-Sided Attraction, Homophobia, Alternate Universe - Victorian, Kings & Queens, Noblemen!Bang-tan, Rich!Bang-tan, Past Relationship(s), jikook centric, side namjin, Side Yoonseok, Bad Parenting, Abuse (?), Park Jimin Is a Sweetheart, Jealous Park Jimin, Jealous Jeon Jungkook, Shy Jeon Jungkook, Jeon Jungkook is Bad at Feelings, Author loves to chat in the Comments, The Author Regrets Nothing, The Author Regrets Everything, Feelings Realization, Pining, Heartbreaking, I'm Bad At Summaries, Internalized Homophobia, Crying, Friendship Goals - Vmin, Explicit Language, Everything is Beautiful and Everything Hurts, What Have I Done, How Do I Tag", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Jeon Jungkook/Original Female Character(s), Jeon Jungkook/Park Jimin, Kim Namjoon \| Rap Monster/Kim Seokjin \| Jin, Past - Park Jimin/Min Yoongi, Platonic - Kim Taehyung \| V/Park Jimin, Jung Hoseok \| J-Hope/Min Yoongi \| Suga, Platonic - Jeon Jungkook/Jung Hoseok \| J-Hope", "Series": null, "Collections": "Anonymous", "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": "F/M, M/M", "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	It’s been ingrained in Jungkook’s head since he was young. “Gay’s are wrong. They’re not meant to exist.” “Never become one, like your useless older brother. He’s a shame to the whole family.” “You should never date someone of your own gender. It’s disgusting and degrading.” “They’re spawns of Satan.” It was normal for Jungkook to hate homosexuals. It’s been taught to him like a soldier is taught to defend and fight in the military. He’s never had any choice whether to hate homosexuals or to accept them. The answer had always been in front of him. Jungkook’s parents despised homosexuals and could come up with endless ways on how to rid them from the world. They taught people in public about how homosexuals should never be trusted, that they were disgusting pieces of trash that would sleep with anyone including people of their own gender. People rarely listened to them, homosexuality was accepted in this country and there were quite a lot of people that were dating people of the same gender. Yet scars from the past stayed, and many homosexuals preferred keeping their relationship discreet. There were occasionally some people who listened to Jungkook’s parents speeches. There was even once incident in which a person who listened to their speech became so inspired that he attacked a homosexual couple in broad daylight, leading to the death of the couple and his execution. Jungkook hated homosexuals. It was part of his body. Yet the hate he had for them wasn’t as fierce and burning as his parents. It was more of an instinct, something that was so natural. Jungkook didn’t accept homosexuals and thought it was wrong that they had to date people of the same gender. Yet he couldn’t help but feed the small sapling of curiosity that kept on growing inside of him. He wanted to know what homosexuals were like and how different they were from the normal human being. Were they even human? “What are they like…?” Jungkook couldn’t help but mutter that to himself as he sat alone in his family’s extensive library. He was usually alone here since there was rarely any presence of human life. His parents were too rich for their own good, always buying things with a flick of their wrists. Jungkook’s parents had always wanted Jungkook to stay heterosexual and wanted him to learn how bad homosexuals were. Especially his mother. His father was quite strict as well, yet he kept to himself often and was much quieter than Jungkook’s mother. His mother had a burning hate for homosexuals. She hated them with her being. She even went as far as to telling the workers to look for any books that contained homosexuality and to “burn them like they will in hell” quote unquote, if they found one. Jungkook couldn’t help but hum as he walked through the library’s sections. He popped his head inside the fantasy isle before he quickly popped back out. He wandered over to the romance isle and passed through the dictionaries without a second glance. Nothing seemed interesting today, the weather was exceptionally good, azure skies with only wisps of clouds here and there. The bright sunlight shone through the extravagant window panes located at the top of the library. Jungkook fell into his armchair in front of the fireplace once more as he let out a disgruntled huff. He had no idea what to do as he fiddled with the edge of his cravat. Jungkook didn’t know why he had to wear formal clothing even though he was staying inside all day. His parents had strictly told him that even when inside, Jungkook should look presentable at any time. Yet the clothes that the maids had chosen for him today was a little too formal for Jungkook’s tastes. The collar on his starched white shirt was raised high and bent at the edges. It was a little looser than normal and Jungkook appreciated the small freedom that he had. There was a Victorian Style Ascot tie cravat that was a deep maroon, wine color. It was made of Dupioni silk and it was tied like a bow. Jungkook was also wearing a single-breasted waistcoat that was a dark, midnight black with a notched collar. On top of the waistcoat, he was wearing a black frock coat that had patterns of swirling flowers. (http://ep.yimg.com/ay/yhst-73404718658914/regency-victorian-style-ascot-tie-cravat-maroon-wine-dupioni-silk-3-inch-width-7.gif )He felt like he was over-dressing and he had complained when the maids were dressing him. He would have preferred to wear something much more comfortable. Jungkook was extremely bored. Usually, he would be busy, studying with his tutor and having long lessons that lasted for hours. But now, he was sitting all alone in the library because all of the other servants and the people who worked in the house were too busy fussing over Jungkook’s mother, Jeon HeaJung. His mother’s birthday was right around the corner on March 11th. Everyone was too busy getting ready and preparing for her birthday to notice her son who was left all alone. Jungkook wasn’t relatively close with his parents, or anyone in general. He tended to keep a stone-faced mask on that kept people away from him. The only person that he could call a “friend” was his personal servant, Jung Hoseok. Hoseok (or J-Hope as Jungkook and many others called him) was a ball of energy. He was always smiling and joking around with others. Maybe that’s why it was easier for Jungkook to open up to him than the other servants who never approached him. Once, when Jungkook had wondered aloud why he had no friends, Hoseok had told him that maybe it was because Jungkook was too shy. He never talked to anyone and kept to himself often. Thinking of Hoseok brought a smile to his lips as he chuckled lightly, remembering his bright friend. On cue, a loud, cheery voice echoed around the library as Jungkook stood up straighter in his chair. “Jungkook!! Jungkook!” Hoseok kept on calling him as Jungkook hid behind the chair. Hoseok was the only one who dared to drop any honorifics when calling Jungkook’s name. Other people often called him ‘Jungkook-nari’ or ‘Jungkook-nim’ even if they were older. Status was more important than age. “Kookie~” Hoseok’s voice echoed around the empty library once more, he was using the nickname that he had given Jungkook. “J-Hope~” Jungkook answered back with his nickname for the older. Even though Hoseok was in a lower class than Jungkook, (a servant nonetheless) he always made sure to add -hyung at the end whenever he was talking to him. He felt like he needed to add honorifics even if his parents looked down at him for it. But… Well, sometimes he left out the -hyung. Especially when they were playing around. “Kookie! Are you hiding from me? Your hyung?!” Hoseok tried once more to get Jungkook but to no avail, he didn’t come out. Hoseok huffed as he surveyed the room, looking for Jungkook. He strained his ears and the edge of his mouth curled up into a smile when he heard snickering behind the chair that Jungkook liked to sit in. Hoseok tried once more as a brilliant idea came to his head. He smiled as he opened his mouth, “Oppa! Where are you?” Hoseok heard the laughing stop as Jungkook’s head of brown hair quickly popped out from behind the armchair. “Yah! What did you say?” Jungkook yelled as he ran out from the chair to chase after Hoseok who was already leaving the room. Jungkook didn’t mind the nickname Kookie, but he hated it when people older than him called him ‘oppa’, it frustrated him. Hoseok had found out that Jungkook hated being called oppa when they were playing around. “Calm down!” Hoseok yelled behind him at Jungkook who was chasing him with anger evident on his face. He giggled as he watched Jungkook stop and pout as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Don’t call me oppa!" “I won’t, I won’t. Sorry.” Hoseok smiled sheepishly as he walked back toward Jungkook. “Anyhow, Jungkook. I went looking for you because I wanted to ask you if you want to go out?” Jungkook stared in feigned shock at Hoseok as he took a step back. Hoseok just stared at him, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. “What…?” Hoseok said as he stared at Jungkook who was still staring at him. “Hoseok-hyung… I didn’t know you swung that way.” “Yah! Jungkookie you little brat!” Hoseok blushed a beet red, all the way to the tip of his ears when Jungkook said that. He yelled at Jungkook as raised his hands in anger. “I’m sorry, sorry.” Jungkook giggled, then it turned into a full on laugh, clutching his stomach as he doubled over when he saw Hoseok bowing and apologizing to a passing by maid. The strange looks the maid was giving them and the flustered face on Hoseok’s face was enough to make Jungkook start another round of tear-jerking laughter. “Kookie…” There was a threat underlying his voice and Jungkook had no intention to test it. His laughing dyed out as he brushed the tears away from his eyes, his jaws and stomach ached from laughing too much. Jungkook knew that Hoseok was no homosexual, his parents wouldn’t let someone disgusting like that work in their mansion. It would sully their reputation. “Sorry, sorry. I already apologized. Plus I know you don’t… You know. Like boys.” Jungkook apologized once more at his hyung who was glaring at him, his face still flushed a deep red. “I won’t take you outside if you keep that attitude up!” Hoseok snapped at Jungkook as he crossed his arms and walked away, obviously fuming. Jungkook laughed once more at his hyung’s attitude as he chased after him, lightly clasping Hoseok’s shoulder and turning him around. “Sorry. I’m sorry Hoseok-hyung. Please, please take me outside. Mother never lets me go out these days.” Jungkook stared at Hoseok with his puppy eyes that he knew the other couldn’t resist. Hoseok kept on staring at Jungkook, keeping his guard up. Jungkook knew he won when Hoseok’s eyes softened, he dropped his arms to his side and sighed in defeat. Hoseok was talking with Jungkook as they were walking down the streets. The stares and glances thrown their way were endless and Jungkook couldn’t help but stare back at them. He hated being stared at and found a satisfaction when they quickly adverted their eyes from the nobleman. Jungkook’s family was not royal descent, but many said that they were close enough. The Jeon’s were an extremely influential family that held power and wealth over many people including the royal family. Jungkook’s father, Jeon Gi-Nam was close to the king of the land and they were friends since young. His father had supported the king during tough times and the king had supported his father during hard times. One thing that soured their relationships was the fact that the king was a believer in homosexual couples, the opposite of Jungkook’s father. Jungkook knew that his father would never talk bad about the king, but he knew for a fact that his mother disapproved the king’s opinions. Hoseok nudged Jungkook as they walked past a particular girl, “Isn’t she pretty? I would totally go for her… I think she has the hots for you! Do you see the way that she looks at you? That’s love at first sight…” Hoseok sighed dreamily as he stopped in the middle of the street, edging closer to the girl and leaving Jungkook. The girl had soft, brown hair that was tied in a loose braid over her shoulder. By her clothes, you could indeed tell that she was a commoner, but her beauty was exceptional. She had a stunning figure with large, green eyes that were speckled with gold. Jungkook followed Hoseok as he warily watched the girl who had looked away when Jungkook met her eyes. She nervously sorted through the vegetables that she was selling at a stand with another elderly woman. A man approached their stand and as Jungkook noticed, he looked quite wealthy. He had golden rings on his fingers with an outfit that screamed ‘rich’. From Jungkook’s guess, that outfit would most likely cost thousands of dollars. He had black hair that was tied back, from his appearance he looked around 40 years old. He definitely wasn’t bad looking but… There was just an air around him that Jungkook didn’t like. “Hey. You there, girl.” The girl’s head snapped up at the voice from where she was messing with the vegetables. She trembled in fear as she replied to the man who stood towering over her, a smirk evident on his face. “Y-Yes…” Her meek voice rang around in Jungkook’s head as he watched the exchange between the two. Jungkook, Hoseok, and the old lady next to the girl were the only people who had noticed what was going. Jungkook had a sickening feeling in his chest, he knew what was going to happen. Nobles did it all the tome and it disgusted Jungkook. “Give me 3 tomatoes, and make it fast.” The man ordered gruffly as he kept his eyes on the girl who fumbled around the stall in a panic. She picked up a bag, then carefully placed three, ripe tomatoes inside. She turned around and clumsily sealed the top, she looked nervous. Jungkook noticed the man staring at the girl’s body without any shame. The old lady beside the girl glared at the man, keeping her gaze even when the man glared back. Similar to the old lady, Jungkook was disgusted by the man’ actions and he could tell that Hoseok was as well by the way he bristled next to Jungkook. Just in case, Jungkook held his arm in front of Hoseok to keep him from doing anything dangerous. Usually, it was Jungkook that was affected easily, but this time Hoseok looked like he was about to pounce on the other man. “What are you staring at you imbecile.” The man snapped at the old lady who kept on glaring at the man. The defiance that was burning in her eyes make Jungkook open his mouth in awe. The woman was foolish for glaring at a nobleman, yet there was a sense of bravery and valor in her actions that made Jungkook look at her in respect. “I said, what are you staring at!” The man raised his voice toward the end as if to emphasize the woman’s foolishness for daring to defy him. He growled as he walked closer knocking into the girl who held the sack of tomatoes. Her eyes were as wide as saucers as she stood, her feet shaking in fear. She flinched away when the man had brushed past her and the nobleman definitely noticed it. “What, am I too scary for you?” The man taunted the girl as she took a step back, backing into the brick wall that was behind the cart of vegetables. Jungkook looked around and noticed that the people who were passing them weren’t passing them because they didn’t notice it. They were ignoring it, on purpose. They didn’t want to get involved and they certainly didn’t want to get on the bad side of a nobleman. Jungkook scowled, disgust curling in his stomach as he watched how the crowd would stay away from the girl’s cart and purposely avoided any eye contact, rushing their steps in the process. “Leave her alone, here are the tomatoes. Please leave.” The old lady had decided that she had enough, taking the tomatoes from the girls’ hand and shoving it toward the haughty nobleman. She narrowed here eyes as she said this and stressed the word ‘please’ as if she was taunting him. Jungkook winced as he watched the exchange, this wasn’t going to end well for the other party. The nobleman stared down coldly at the woman, but anyone could see the anger smoldering behind his brown eyes. “You little—” “Wait.” The man was quickly cut off as Hoseok shouldered people as he crossed the street, his eyes burning in anger. Jungkook snapped out of his haze as he noticed a little too late at the fact that Hoseok was missing from his side. He quickly made a grab for Hoseok’s wrist to stop him but it was flung off. Jungkook knew what he was going to do and it was going to make the situation even worse. “Hoseok-hyung—” Jungkook was cut off with a sharp word from the older male. “You.” Hoseok was seething and he was definitely going to let it out on the rude man that was so openly (and disgustingly) staring at the girl like she was some kind of object. Said man had turned around at Hoseok’s voice and was staring at him in surprise, which eventually turned into a deep glare. Jungkook groaned, exasperated with Hoseok’s sudden urge to ensure that justice was handed down to the man. As he said before, usually it was Jungkook who was hotheaded and barging into things. Not Hoseok. No, definitely not his hyung who was literal sunshine. His hyung would never swear. Or so he thought. “You fucking bastard! I can’t believe you stared at her like that. You’re the same as a pig, disgusting. That nice, old lady just wanted you to leave. There’s no need for you to act like that!” Hoseok was yelling at the man, curse words were indeed tumbling out of his mouth and Jungkook widened his eyes in surprise. Then in panic. Hoseok was definitely causing a scene, a scene that his parents would not welcome and more importantly, a scene that would get Hoseok fired on the spot. “I’m sorry, very sorry. He didn’t mean anything he said. He’s a drunk, honestly.” Jungkook rushed beside his hyung, bowing his head in apology. His hair hid his face and he gritted his teeth as he clenched his hands. Why did he have to apologize to this bastard? “Hmph, I guess I could let you go. Since I’m such a kind man…” A sneering tone was entering the others voice as Jungkook kept his head down, mainly because if he looked up he may or may not have punched the nobleman in the face. “I meant every word I said.” Hoseok butted in as he crossed his arms, staring indignantly at the man across of him. The nobleman just smirked, and amusing smile crossing his face. “Oh, did you?” Jungkook groaned in exasperation, he was feeling tetchy, mainly from the scene that this was causing that would most likely make his parents ground him for weeks. Maybe months. He wanted to yell at Hoseok to ‘please keep his mouth shut’ but he knew that it wouldn’t solve the problem. “Just, please. Let it go. He’s a little drunk, he doesn’t mean any harm.” Jungkook apologized one more time, his patience was wearing thin and he would have left this place already if it weren’t for his hyung. “Hmm… That’s some rich clothes your wearing. Show me your face.” The man commanded Jungkook in an authoritative tone and there was a small bubble of satisfaction that bloomed inside him because he knew that once the man saw his face, this would all be over. No one dares disrespects the Jeon’s. Jungkook looked up with one eye brow raised in mocking. There was a curl of a smile on the corner of his lips and defiance glittered in his eye. “Once again, I’m sorry for everything my hyung said. Now will you please let it go?” Jungkook stressed the please and his smile grew even wider with apparent smugness as he watched the man’s eyes widen in horror. The realization that hit the man’s face and contorted it into a mask of trepidation and fear as he stared into Jungkook’s cobalt blue eyes. He turned pale and his hands started to shake. “Y-Yes… I’m extremely sorry it was my fault. I-I’ll never d-do it again!” The elderly woman and the young girl turned their way when they noticed the change in the man’s tone. The brown-haired girl with doe eyes curiously watched Jungkook’s face, she flushed when he looked back at her. As Jungkook turned back to the nobleman who had a sudden change in personality, he failed to notice the elderly woman’s face change into one of recognition. Hoseok looked warily at the elderly woman since it was his fault Jungkook was caught up in this mess he didn’t want him getting into trouble. If the woman recognized Jungkook and started spreading any rumors, his parents will definitely scold him. Jungkook approached the man as his shoes clicked on the stone street. He leaned into the man’s face as his eyes flashed a dangerous blue, “Tell anyone about what happened—“ He used his hand to gesture their surroundings and narrowed his eyes, “And you’ll regret it.” The man whimpered, whimpered. As he nodded his head vigorously. Jungkook pressed something into the nobleman’s hand and he flinched as Jungkook slowly backed away from him and patted Hoseok’s shoulder. ‘Let’s leave.’ He mouthed as he started walking away from the scene. He wasn’t worried about the villagers who had passed them, though some stayed to watch, they weren’t brave enough to spread rumors about a Jeon. Their existence would disappear from the world as soon as they spouted anything that disgraced them out of their lips. Noblemen were a different matter, they didn’t look kindly upon the power the Jeon’s had and they would do anything to drag them down. But Jungkook knew, that with the intimidation he implanted in the man’s brain, he wouldn’t dare say anything. But bribing didn’t hurt, did it? The nobleman opened his hand and in his palms were a crushed wad of bills. His eyes darted to Jungkook as he understood the meaning. Just in case, Jungkook left a wad of bills on the vegetable stand as well. When he looked into the eyes of the elderly woman there was soft compassion in her gray eyes. He trusted the woman to not say anything. As he left with Hoseok by his side, he felt eyes digging into his back and he couldn’t help but glance back. But all he saw was the rushing of people and the nobleman standing there with the money still clutched in his hand. As he turned back, he didn’t notice the blonde-haired figure turn away and slip into an alleyway. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Jimin scurried away as he hid inside an alleyway. He couldn’t believe what he just saw. His heart was beating extremely loud, blood rushing to his hands as they trembled in excitement. He was undeniably giddy because seeing that one man had made his day. The blue-eyed nobleman whom he knew was kinder than he let others let on. Taehyung had always told him that Jungkook was just a “cold-hearted asshole” but Jimin knew better than that. He saw the kind side that appeared when he thought that no one was looking. Not that Jimin was stalking him… No. It didn’t go that far. It’s just that his eyes unintentionally followed Jungkook whenever he saw him at meetings. He also occasionally saw him and witnessed sides of him that softened Jimin’s heart. Today had been a tiring day for Jimin. He had to attend a meeting with his elder brother and his husband. All he wanted to do was sit under the tree with Taehyung and talk about his problems all while eating cookies that his brother’s husband had baked. When the meeting continued with sporadic flirtatious glances from young noblemen, he had left. He hadn’t shown up at the second meeting either. Homosexuality was accepted in this country, and Jimin was glad that it was, but he had eyes for only one person. Jeon Jungkook had been his crush that he had been pining after for 3 years. Taehyung had said that his love was vacuous since Jungkook was very obviously straight. And homophobic. Jimin made his way around a dumpster, lost in his thoughts. He squeaks when he suddenly crashes into a wall. The wall grabs him, and steadies him with his hands. The wall was not a wall, it was a man. As Jimin looks up, he was met with dark, swirling depths as he freezes in the man’s arms. The man shakes his head disapprovingly before letting go of Jimin as he dusts himself off. Jimin is unable to move as panic grips him. “Y-Yoongi…” Jimin stutters as he collects himself and straightens up. The man looks into Jimin’s eyes once more as he sighs exasperatedly. “Jimin. What. Are. You. Doing.” Yoongi punctuates each of his words with a pause, a threat underlying his words. Jimin shakes as panic starts to settle in his veins. “I-I swear I wasn’t looking at Jungkook or anything!” Jimin stampers as the words come rushing out of his mouth. He knew that he wasn’t supposed to be here and he also knew the kind of temper that Yoongi had. He definitely didn’t want to get on his bad side today. Yoongi sighed once more, as Jimin looked closer in the dark shadows of the alleyway he noticed that he had bags under his eyes. His pale skin was also a sickly color and his black, straight hair was a mussed pile on his head. “Are you okay…?” Concern seeps into Jimin’s voice as he realizes in his carelessness that he failed to notice how tired Yoongi looked. “I’m fine Jimin. Just tired. It’s been a hard do you know? You were supposed to be at the meeting today and the other nobles seemed pretty pissed of about the fact that you were missing. Again. It didn’t help that you left during the first one either.” Jimin guiltily realized that his absence has cost Yoongi his precious sleeping time and made him receive the brunt of Jimin’s absence. Jimin apologizes as he walks closer to Yoongi and cups his face in his palms. He rubs the pad of his thumbs under Yoongi’s eyes as he apologizes once more. “I’m so sorry Yoongi… I know how much stress you’ve been under ever since you moved here. I promised to help you and Tae but here I am bringing you down… I’m so sorry. Next time I’ll attend. I promise.” At the assurance and warmth in Jimin’s tone, Yoongi’s eyes soften as he leans into his touch. “Yeah…” He mutters softly, “It’s been such a pain having to take care of Taehyung and the business. I love that kid but I swear he’s set on wearing me out someday. There’s also the problem of dealing with the company. My parents are pressuring me that I can do better and that the profit better go up. And I’m trying, I am. It’s just that things haven’t been going well for me and whenever it does the other assholes give me these, these glares and I don’t know… I-It’s just so… Tiring.” Yoongi rambles on, occasional stutters entering his sentences, he finishes with another defeated sigh. Jimin nods in understanding as he hugs Yoongi, pulling him in closer. “I understand. I know what you’re going through and I want to help you. But… How about we talk about this in a locations somewhere else? Maybe somewhere except an alleyway with stinking trash and waste?” Jimin jokes and a smile stretches across his face when he hears a small chuckle from Yoongi. He can hear him muttering something along the lines of ‘idiot’ but he ignores it. He carefully pulls Yoongi an arm distance away from him as he smiles at him, his eyes crinkling into crescents. “Come on, don’t we have a meeting to attend?” The only reply he receives is a: “The meeting already ended you idiot.” But he knows that Yoongi doesn’t mean it when a smile break across Yoongi’s face as well. ~~~Time Lapse~~~~ Jimin sat in his brother’s garden. He watched the wind create rippled on the water, he can hear it whispering in his ears softly. Today was supposed to have clear weather yet white, wispy clouds are blocking the sun. He can feel it shining on his back warmly as he sits on the ground touching the grass softly, feeling it prickle his palm. He removes his hand from the grass as he stares at the fishes in the lake. The fish swim in beautiful, circular patterns as they glide freely. Their scales shimmer and sparkle in the sunlight as the sun shines through. The gazebo in the lake stands starkly white against the green and blue surroundings. Namjoon’s garden was always so empty, it mainly consisted of trees and three large lakes that took up most of the space. He had insisted his brother plant more flowers or at least make it more scenic but ht gazebo was the only thing that he let Jimin add on. Jimin was glad that he added the gazebo, it made the garden much more appealing if he said so himself. Jimin stretches in the warm sunlight as a yawn escapes his mouth involuntarily. He stands as he brushes of his pants, patting his front and his backside. He gets ready to head inside when a voice cuts through. “Jiminie!” A deep, baritone voice crashes through the serene silence as a tall, handsome, chestnut-haired man with sharp features crashes through golden gates and runs toward an unsuspecting Jimin. He has a large, boxy smile with silky looking brown hair. As the brown-haired man crashes into the other, a smile breaks across the shorter’s face. “TaeTae!” Jimin exclaims as he hugs the taller. It is almost comical the way their height is so different but the passing maids make no comment on it as they respectfully keep their eyes down. Everyone knows how sensitive Jimin is about his height. “Where were you? I though you’d be at the meeting but you weren’t there… I asked Seokjin-hyung but he said that he didn’t see you all day either!” Taehyung scolds Jimin as he pulls the other away from him, noticing the dreamy expression on his face. Suspicion enters his tone as he looks at Jimin unbelievably. “Wait… Were you stalking Jeon again?! I told you that that asshole isn’t worth a second of your time!” Jimin sputters as he shakes his head. “D-Don’t call it s-stalking! It’s no even that far. I just occasionally see him. That’s all! And he’s not an asshole Tae! Stop calling him that. He’s actually a soft, caring, shy, bunny inside! You should see him when he smiles.” Jimin rambles on about Jungkook as his gaze drifts off once more. Taehyung sighs as he shakes his head. “Jimin, if he was as kind as you say he is then he wouldn’t be an asshole.” Jimin glares at Taehyung as he crosses his arms in defiance. “Well, define the term ‘asshole’.” “‘Asshole’ as in he ignores people and acts extremely rude towards them. Asshole as in degrading homosexuals. Asshole as in punishing innocent people when they make a small mistake. And,” Taehyung takes a deep breath as he adds a pause for effect. He glares back at Jimin as he finishes in sentence. “Asshole as in behaving like an impudent, insolent, cantankerous brat. Plus, when he doesn’t get things to go his way he gets petulant.” Jimin pouts at that as he crosses his arms, jutting his bottom lip out. He opens his mouth, ready to tell Taehyung how much of a sweetheart Jungkook really is. “Oh no. No you don’t. I don’t want to listen to you blabber on about Jungkook and how ‘sweet’ he is.” Taehyung cuts in as he shakes his finger disapprovingly in front of Jimin’s face. He bats his eyelashes and fakes a high-pitched voice as he imitates Jimin. “Oh Jungkook, he’s so sweet. He never does anything wrong! He’s so handsome and perfect. He has this cold exterior but he’s just a sweet, gooey bunny inside. I wish I could marry him. And have you seen he smiles!” Taehyung imitates Jimin’s high-pitches squeal, “He’s so~ handsome.” Jimin glares at Taehyung as he mumbles something along the lines of ‘I don’t sound that stupid. Plus my voice is not that high!’. Taehyung crinkled his nose in distaste at Jimin as he frowns at him. “Jimin, you seriously sound like that. I’m your best friend so I didn’t want to point it out but… You’re pretty annoying when you talk about Jungkook. Seriously.” Jimin pouts once more as he slouches in surrender. He did’t know that Taehyung found him that annoying whenever he talked about his crush. Taehyung exhales deeply as his eyes soften, gazing down at Jimin’s pouting form. “Jiminie, I love you. I mean seriously, I would marry you if I didn’t see you as a platonic brother of mine. I’ve seen you go through all of your crushes like a girl with clothes. Honestly, I don’t think that Jungkook is a good guy for you to date. I mean Yoongi was better than him! And he’s a lazy, short guy!” Jimin’s heart fills with warmth at that as he realizes just how close Taehyung and him are. He certainly had his fair share of crushes but Yoongi was the first male that he dated. Before that, he tried convincing himself that he wasn’t homosexual, that he was heterosexual. Yet he just wan’t able to get attracted to women as he was attracted to men. He was glad that his parents accepted him as who he is. “Yoongi may like to sleep a lot but he’s not lazy. He’s kind, caring, and so sweet! I’m glad that Yoongi was the first person to date and that we broke up on good terms…” Taehyung scoffs, “Jiminie, if you still love Yoongi that much you should just get back together with him. Not like he would refuse. I mean I don’t understand why you guys split up! You were so cute, the short couple in town that everyone loved.” Jimin glares at Taehyung when he mentions his height as he opens his mouth to object. “Taehyung, you know why I split up with Yoongi.” Another heavy sigh, “It didn’t work out. We both knew the relationship wasn’t mutual and we knew that we both had someone else in mind. Yoongi had someone whom he wanted to date and had romantic feelings towards, as do I. The relationship wouldn’t have worked out. We started dating because it was comfortable, there were no feelings involved. It was kind of like a friendship to distract ourselves…” Taehyung clucks his tongue as he shakes his head disapprovingly. “You mean distract yourself from your stalking obsession with Jeon Jungkook?” Taehyung interjects acerbically. “Jiminie, Jiminie, Jiminie. I understand that you didn’t romantically love” Taehyung punctuates his point by adding air quotation marks when he mentions the word ‘love’. “Yoongi. You weren’t even sad when you guys broke up! You didn’t shed a single tear. You guys were getting along pretty well and you guys evened each other out. Your annoyingly bright and sweet attitude was evened out by Yoongi’s quiet yet bitter personality.” Jimin opens his mouth, “I am not-“ “Shush.” Taehyung cuts him off as he continues with his rant. “I know that you love” More air quotation marks. “Jungkook but seriously Jimin. I won’t repeat what I said before but I honestly think that you should give up. I’m your best friend, I know what’s good for you and what isn’t. I know for sure that Jungkook is not someone that you should be with. I don’t want you to discourage you but… Jungkook is one of the things that I seriously don’t want you to get involved with. You know how homophobic his family is…” At that Jimin sighs in agreement. He knows the hate that brews inside the Jeon family. He had always naively thought that the youngest Jeon would be more kinder. After all, he was the kindest in the family and he was different from his parents in a way that Jimin couldn’t describe… “Boys! What are you doing in my garden?” A broad-shouldered and handsome man with soft, pink hair comes walking up to them. His hair walls over his eyes perfectly in a princely-manner and the ends are fading into a pale pink. He has pretty, bow-shaped lips and soft, brown eyes that gaze at them in a friendly manner. “Seokjin-hyung!” Taehyung and Jimin exclaim at the same time as they run up to greet that man. Once they reach him they hug him jovially as wide smiles spread across their faces. “My favorite dongsaengs!” Seokjin exclaims with a smile as he hugs them back as tightly as they hugged him. He pushes them away slightly an arms length away so that he can look at their faces properly. “Where were you two?” He chides at them with a disapproving frown on his face. Jimin and Taehyung could tell that Seokjin was upset with them by the way his eyebrows furrowed. There was kindness shining in his eyes but there was also an underlying strike of concern. “I’m sorry Seokjin-hyung…” Taehyung mourns as he hangs his head in shame. He had attended the meeting in the beginning when it had started but left half-way through in search for Jimin. “I’m sorry as well Jin-hyung. I should have attended the meeting, I’ve skipped enough as it is. Yoongi told me how he took bared the brunt of it…” There is true apology in Jimin’s words and Jin’s eyes soften as he gazes down at the two. He makes a soft tutting noise with his tongue as he clasps his hands on their shoulders. “Don’t be so down! I wasn’t that mad. It wasn’t such an interesting meeting anyways. I was just worried that something may have happened to you two. Just make sure to attend the next one okay? Yoongi’s been having to take over most of the time and even if I’m okay with you two now attending, the other nobles aren’t.” Jimin and Taehyung vigorously nod their heads as they hug Seokjin once more. “Thank you so much hyung! We’ll attend next time for sure.” “Yes, we will! You’re the best hyung!” Seokjin chuckles at the two’s enthusiasm. “Come on let’s go, this garden is making me depressed. Let’s go to my garden!” Jimin giggles at that because he knows that Seokjin had also disapproved of Namjoon’s taste in decorating. This is precisely why Seokjin had decided that he needed to change his husband’s garden and make it prettier.
10499004	Whos Who	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": null, "Characters": "Kara Danvers, Lena Luthor, Maggie Sawyer, Winn Schott Jr., Alex Danvers", "Fandom": "Supergirl (TV 2015)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by orphan_account", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-30T00:00:00", "words": "588", "Additional Tags": "Texting, Humor, implied alcohol", "Relationship": "Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	[Juice]: Morning, hope your hangovers aren’t too bad. [Potstickers]: Hi. [5ft]: my mouth feels like ass [Hobbit]: same [Potstickers]: Why are the names different? [Potstickers]: Who did this? [Bruce]: stop texting so much its hurting my head [Potstickers]: Can anyone see their contact name? [5ft]: nada [Potstickers]: You’re . [Potstickers]: What the hell? Why didn’t the name go through? [Potstickers]: I’m . [Potstickers]: Well then. [5ft]: this is actually p sophistocated [Potstickers]: Did * do this? [Hobbit]: ikr [5ft]: who [Hobbit]: guys i think im still a lil drunk [Potstickers]: Who did this? [Bruce]: please stop texting [Potstickers]: I can’t text * to get to work either. [Potstickers]: I just texted * if we had any * and it didn’t work, so I guess all names are out. [Potstickers]: * is right, this is pretty sophisticated. [5ft]: im personally offended that im not * [5ft]: oh wait i know who it is now, maggie is hobbit [5ft]: oh what the it went through [Maggie]: wait I’m hobbit? [Maggie]: that’s rude [5ft]: your name changed back at least [Potstickers]: Then 5ft has to be Winn [Winn]: wtf that’s rude wtf the fuck [Winn]: hey did anyone notice that were a name short [Potstickers]: No? [Maggie]: now that you mention it yeah [Bruce]: guys [Bruce]: please stop [Potstickers]: I don’t see any extra names. [Winn]: huh [Maggie]: maybe * is * [Maggie]: nvm [Maggie]: is James Bruce [Maggie]: AHA! [James]: let me sleep please it’s too early on a Saturday [Potstickers]: Three more names on the list. [Potstickers]: So who’s the stickers of the pots and liquid of the fruit? [Potstickers]: Ha! It worked! [Maggie]: your stickers of the pots [Potstickers]: No, I’m not. [Maggie]: yes you are [Winn]: omg its two people [Maggie]: i think we got that winnifred [Winn]: I resent that [Maggie]: im gonna go with the obvious choice and say potstickers is * and alex [Maggie]: no just alex so the other potsticker is lena [Maggie]: then who the hell is * [Juice]: Hi! [Maggie]: oh my god kara is juice [Maggie]: kara you did this didn’t you [Kara]: Ha [Alex]: Kara. [Kara]: Hahahaha [Alex]: Oh my god, are you still drunk? [Kara]: Hahahahahahaha [Alex]: Lena, is Kara still drunk? [Lena]: Why would I know? [Alex]: You helped her, didn’t you? [Lena]: What makes you say that? [Alex]: I’m heading to Kara’s now. Later… [Big Sister!]: Open your door. [Super Sister!]: No. [Big Sister!]: Open it now. [Super Sister!]: No, you’re being scary. [Big Sister!]: I’m not being scary, I even have donuts. [Super Sister!]: You’re a liar. [Big Sister!]: I’m not a liar. [Super Sister!]: I can see you through the door! [Big Sister!]: Open your door this second. [Super Sister!]: Noooo In the apartment… “Can I at least ask why you picked those names?” Lena asked as her girlfriend curled up against her.“Revelant,” Kara answered. And then she hiccupped and giggled.“How so?”“m juice ‘cause you say I’m Sunny Danvers, like the orange juice.” Kara hiccupped and giggled again before wiggling closer to Lena.“What about the rest?” Lena asked. Kara tugged Lena’s shirt and Lena gave in and slid down from her sitting position on the bed into a lying position next to Kara. “Bruce?”“Flying night man,” Kara mumbled.“Flying night man?” Lena asked incredulously. “Do you mean Batman?”“Mhm.”“Are you telling me that Batman is someone named Bruce?”“Mmm…”Lena paused. “Oh my god, Batman is Bruce Wayne.”Kara snored lightly.“What about 5ft and Hobbit? Why wasn’t Winn “Hobbit?””The only answer Lena got in return was another snore.
10498134	ReARC	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "Gen", "Characters": "Sakaki Yuya, Yuto (Yu-Gi-Oh), Yugo (Yu-Gi-Oh), Yuri (Yu-Gi-Oh), Zarc (Yu-Gi-Oh), Hiiragi Yuzu, Kurosaki Ruri, Serena (Yu-Gi-Oh), Rin (Yu-Gi-Oh), Akaba Reiji, Akaba Leo", "Fandom": "Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by Shimmering_Sky", "chapters": "1/?", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-30T00:00:00", "words": "1,132", "Additional Tags": "Canon Rewrite, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Too many characters to list honestly, But those are the most important ones, Hopefully this is a better ending for everyone", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	For the umpteenth night in a row, Akaba Reiji finds himself unable to sleep. It's been a problem since the second or third night of insomnia, but he hasn't been able to tell his parents about it; he doesn’t want to burden either of them with this, they’re busy enough as it is with their jobs. His solution to get some level of sleep in previous nights—pace around his room until he exhausted himself—doesn’t seem to be working tonight. He simply can’t ignore the feeling that something is wrong. His own bedroom is inexplicably uncomfortable and unfamiliar and it leaves him frustrated because he doesn't know why . Reiji unceremoniously falls onto his bed, staring out the window that made up one of the walls in his room. Maiami City looks as lively as ever, if not more so than during the day, with all the neon signs in full view. The sight at least brings some comfort and familiarity to him; after all, he's been raised here in LDS Tower, almost always having a bird's-eye view of the city from different perspectives. He just wishes he knew why the city is familiar, but his own room isn't. Sighing, the sixteen-year-old decides that he's simply not getting any sleep that night, and that he should use this time to do something productive. What, then, is the question, and in his drowsiness, he can't think of any work he needs to get done. Perhaps a walk will do me good , Reiji ponders as he puts on his glasses. The fresh air might even let me go to sleep. But rather than wander to the roof of LDS Tower or all the way to the street in order to take a short walk around the city, he soon finds himself staring at the entrance to his father’s office. He doesn’t even remember walking this far—his father’s office is a good dozen floors down from the Akaba residence. Reiji rubs the side of his head; he’s been here, many times, because his father is grooming him to be the next CEO of the Leo Corporation, but right now in the dark, it feels… different somehow. …This was a waste of time, Reiji decides. All I've succeeded in doing is giving myself a headache. He turns to leave, but almost immediately stops and looks back at the door. He knows he should just go back to bed, yet he feels something drawing him to his father's office. A few moments later and Reiji is sitting at his father's desk and for the first time in several weeks, everything feels… right . He’s never actually sat in this chair before—it's not his yet—but he still feels like he has . Many, many times over, in fact; this small office space feels more like home than his own bedroom… but why ? Why is the question he needs answered and he just can't think of what that answer could be… … … … “…What are you doing in here?” The purple-eyed teen jolts awake at the sudden voice, the movement causing him to hit the desk with his knee and tilt it for a second—long enough to knock several pencils and part of a stack of paper off the desk. Reiji adjusts his glasses, rubbing his now-sore leg, and looks up at his father, who is holding a fresh cup of coffee. “F-Father! I was just—” No, there's really no excuse for this. “—My apologies. I was unable to sleep and wandered here. I must have drifted off after I sat in your chair. I’ll—clean up the mess I made.” He walks around the desk to do just that, but his father rushes forward and grabs the papers before Reiji can. The teen sees something that says “Arc-V?” and “Rei? Ray?” scrawled on the top sheet in his father's handwriting before the papers are out of sight, tucked into Leo's coat. Reiji frowns—just what is his father hiding?—and places the pencils on the desk. “Father, is something wrong?” “…Yes,” Leo hesitantly answers, “but I’m not sure what it is yet, so it’s best if you forget this happened and go back to your room, Reiji.” Not sure what it is…? Reiji purses his lips, a hand on the bridge of his glasses. That sounds just like… “Before I go, I have one question. You say you’ve felt something is wrong, but you’re not sure what it is. How… how long have you been feeling this way?” “Several weeks now, I suppose.” Leo narrows his eyes at his son. “Why, do you think you know something?” “Several weeks… that’s the same time…” Reiji lowers his hand from his face, his gaze focused on the floor. “I’ve also felt a misplaced sense of something… off , for the past several weeks, just like you. It has left me uncomfortable in my own bedroom and… admittedly…” He looks up at his father. “That feeling is at its worst when I’m around you…” “…I see…” “I mean no offense, Father,” Reiji hastily adds. “I truly have no idea why I feel this way. I suppose you don’t either?” Leo shakes his head, pressing a hand to the side of it—opposite the metal plate—and sighs. “No, not in the slightest. I suppose those dreams might have something to do with it, but…” “Dreams?” Leo looks up almost startled; he must not have realized he said that out loud. But it’s in the open now, so there’s no way he can hide it. “I… I’m not sure about the contents of those dreams; I forget about them almost completely when I wake up. Except… there’s always a word, or a name, that lingers from them.” He pulls out that first sheet of paper that Reiji had caught a glimpse of. More words cover it—and they all sound vaguely familiar.” “Arc-V… Rei/Ray… Revival Zero… Bracelets… Zarc… Academia… Dimension…” Reiji looks up at his father; he doesn’t need to read anymore, just reading those first few parts are giving him a migraine. “F-Father, these words… I think I know them too. But…” A hand goes to his glasses again. “I don’t…” “Don’t force yourself, son. You don’t need to give yourself a headache thinking about this.” Leo takes the paper back, returning it to inside his coat. “After all, you have a tournament to oversee in the morning. You should get some rest; we can talk more after the tournament is over.” “Y-Yes, of course.” He stops at the door and looks back; his father is looking out the window, a hand on the glass, as though he’s trying to grab hold of something just out of reach. A feeling he can sympathize with. “Good… good night, Father.” “…Good night, Reiji.”
10407240	Thirst	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Allison Cameron, Greg House", "Fandom": "House M.D.", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by openhearts", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2010-01-31T00:00:00", "words": "1,072", "Additional Tags": null, "Relationship": "Allison Cameron/Greg House", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": "Porn Battle IX (Dressed to the Nines)", "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	She watches the fluid drip drip drip drip drip drip from the I.V. bag down the tube. It's late, nearly 2 a.m., and magazines have long since stopped being interesting. She leans back in the chair, crosses her arms in front of her, and closes her eyes. If she concentrates very hard, she can hear it, she thinks.dripdripdripdripjust barely, over the steady low breathing and beeping heart monitor. She tunes them out now, like blinking, until something clogs up and the beeping goes erratic. Otherwise it's just muted background noise.dripShe thinks about House. If she could enumerate it all into a list it would stretch on forever. The hate and the lust. He hangs her, he holds her. For his every action he has seven reactions to surround it.dripdripdripShe's cold. She looks at the point of entry on the needle, the simple division of cells around the metal. It suddenly strikes her as bizarre; putting liquid in from the outside like this, just salt water and a few choice chemicals. She's tired. She looks at the patched-up places pasted-over with bandages. Liquid rearrangement is about 80% of her job, she figures. It's all just keeping the right liquids on the right sides of the skin cells.dripIt's getting really late now. 2:13 a.m. Still there, still watching. This is the other part of her job, both with the patients and with House; watching and deciding. She's left, though drip without much to decide tonight, because it felt like he'd decided for her. She'd let him. She had and she would. Maybe she was over-analyzing.drip dripdripdripdripShe's horny. It hits her suddenly drip and god, it's inconvenient. She thinks about House's hands, resting still. She uncrosses and recrosses her legs, flexes her thighs. It's like a delayed reaction to just thinking about him, even in the abstract. To this whole day. It doesn't make sense, but it's just a build-up of stress and adrenaline and tension releasing in a very specific way.drip dripShe thinks about how the watch sits on his wrist, highlighting the length of his hands. She thinks about him playing the piano, playing . . . dripfingers running up her thighs. The thumb and index fingertips of her right hand find each other and rub circles.dripdripdripShe glances at the door. The blinds are drawn over the rest of the walls, and it's dark in the hallway. There's one or two nurses on shift and they won't be too tempted to check because they know she's here.dripShe thinks about House. Familiar, vaguely disgusting. But what did it really matter as long as she got off?drip dripShe angles the chair so it faces away from the door and slides forward in the seat. She uncrosses her legs, spreads her knees.The jeans. He wears jeans well, and not just in the overgrown slacker way. Slouchy but not loose denim suits his frame, highlights the cut of his hips when his shirt rides up. It's not often so she's rightclicksaved drip the few times it's happened.Her fingers slip in, curl up against her clit and start. She arches into it, keeps her eyes open and rolls her thoughts into the flicker of muscles in his forearms.drip drip dripHer mind starts to fuzz out, her focus dissolving and narrowing both at once. One little dot between her thighs and one mindfuck of a man between her eyes. The combination always works and it always annoys her. But it always works.drip her fingers start to slipdripHer mouth is dry, her tongue heavy and sticking to the roof of her mouth. drip Water water everywhere, she thinks fleetingly, imagining his skin all over hers, his tongue running over the sweat on her neck. dripThe heart monitor bleeps once out of rhythm and her eyes snap over. Her fingers don't stop, but the sensation does. Everything does. Just the drip, the beep, the pulse against her fingertip.The beeps fall back into rhythm and for a second the drips sync upbeepdripbeepdripHer fingers twitch and she sucks a little breath in through her nose. The flush washes up over her nipples, all the way up to her jaw.Her eyes fall to the man on the bed and his eyelids flutter.dripShe comes, and it's startling. There one second, then gone and leaving a haze in her muscles.His fingers flex as she eases hers out of her pants. She watches unblinkingly as his lips just barely part and a sound oozes out with a breath. She deliberately sucks her two wet finger tips into her mouth to clean them.His eyes open fully, and it takes a few seconds for them to focus, first on the ceiling, then at random corners of the room. When he eventually finds her she's sitting serenly with a book in her hands."How long have I been out?"She puts on a mild show of looking up like she's surprised. "About two days," she says, setting her book down and getting up to fiddle with the I.V. tubing."Sounds right."He focuses on her, and silence hangs over them for a moment. He opens his mouth to ask the question but she answers before he can."You got the Ketamine.""Did your job then. Good.""It was what you wanted.""Yeah, but it isn't what you would have done, is it?""Wasn't my decision.""If I hadn't asked for it, you wouldn't have volunteered.""What does it matter?" She sighed, sliding fingertips across her creased forehead.He falls silent. Licks his lips and swallows. She pats him on the shoulder and turns to go, but his hand closes around her wrist.She turns back. He stares at her for long heavy seconds.drip dripdripdripdripdripdripdrip"'M thirsty."Her lips open, against her will. The way he stares at her . . . it's grogginess from the drugs, she decides. She looks to the pitcher and cup sitting lamely on a rolling table. She looks back at his fingers now closed around hers, at her fingers between his. The ones she licked. The ones She pictured him licking.He's alive. She's a mess, and they're both so thirsty._
10403760	Moments	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Sonic the Hedgehog, Shadow the Hedgehog", "Fandom": "Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by Porce_and_Coffee", "chapters": "5/?", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-22T00:00:00", "words": "12,768", "Additional Tags": null, "Relationship": "Shadow the Hedgehog/Sonic the Hedgehog", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	“Is that blood?”Sonic had come to a halt under a large oak tree, skidding up a bit of dirt with his abrupt stop. Shadow sat there, book in hand, as he tried to enjoy what he could of the cool breeze on a warm spring day. It was the first nice day in what felt like a year, as if winter had really overstayed its welcome. He closed the book to break the small silence that hung in the air after his question, looking at the other hedgehog expectantly.“No?”Still standing and not at all affected by the sound of the book, Sonic raised an eyeridge at his counterpart. Nothing on his body hurt, so why would he be bleeding? “You’re not supposed to answer a question with another question,” Shadow huffed, “Your leg is bleeding.”Sonic looked down at his legs, turning in place to get a look at them from every angle he could. There was a small patch of missing fur on his right kneecap with a good trickle of blood staining down his fur. “Oh yeah. Look at that.” It didn’t hurt at all, so Sonic hadn’t even noticed the blood. He figured it was all dried up from the wind anyway so all he would need was a quick shower.“I’ll go get the first aid kit.” Shadow pushed himself up off the grass, book in hand as he walked around towards the house. It was a modest home for what the two of them could afford, with only one story and a basement. It had everything they needed from a kitchen, living room, two bathrooms and three bedrooms. They had opted for the extra space in case they had company.Sonic huffed a bit as he followed, “It’s fine, Shadow! I don’t need the first aid kit. I’ll just wash it off. It’ll be good as new!” The other didn’t stop, simply opening the door to their home and expecting Sonic to follow. He could only sigh again as they both went inside.He sat on the couch in the living room as Shadow went to the first bathroom to rummage for the kit. It was something that Sonic noticed early in their relationship—their friendship even—about Shadow. When they were rivals the two had no problem beating each other down till they were both physically broken and bleeding. However as they learned more about each other and cooperated more in fights against any kind of evil that threatened their world, Sonic noticed that Shadow would check in on him. It evolved as they did, starting with verbal confirmation that the other was still breathing to stitching up gashes after carrying the other off the battlefield.Shadow had a caring streak in him that only intensified as the two hedgehogs had grown closer.It wasn’t that Sonic minded having someone genuinely care for him, but sometimes Shadow went a little overboard with the treatment.Shadow came back out into the living room carrying a white plastic box, “Alright, hedgehog, care to tell me how you managed this one?” He knelt down in front of the other so he could lay the box on the floor. When he opened it he was greeted with an array of supplies. With how often the two get beat up he wanted to make sure they always had what they needed to be put back together. He took out two gauze pads, some wrap and the small bottle of hydrogen peroxide, starting off with the last item. “This is going to sting.”Sonic could only roll his eyes at the sight of the entire first aid kit. Did Shadow really need to bring the whole thing out every time Sonic got a tiny scrape? The next time Shadow sneezed Sonic made a mental note to bury the hedgehog in a whole box of tissues. He opened his mouth to answer but closed it quickly with a hiss. Shadow had poured a small amount of the peroxide onto his knee and the clear liquid began to bubble up instantly. Sonic knew that meant there was dirt and debris in his wound. Shadow only patted the side of his leg in response, having warned him already.“Owww ow ow,” was Sonic’s only response for a minute as the liquid seeped into his fur, “Well! Long story short, I tripped.”Shadow looked up from tending to the wound, having been gently wiping away the dirt with a gauze pad and coming away with fresh blood. “You tripped?”Sonic gave the other a sheepish look, rubbing the back of his head as he gave a quick shrug. “Yeah?”“And how does the fastest thing alive, who has run the same trail every day for over a year manage to trip?” Shadow’s expression was flat, not giving away the fact that he really wanted to roll his eyes at his apparently very clumsy partner. He had never seen Sonic trip over his own two feet before and part of him wished that he had. It must have been quite the sight.“It was, y’know…a..rock. A tiny…..rock,” Sonic trailed off very quickly as he explained. “It wasn’t there on my first lap around so clearly someone must have put it there on purpose!” He nodded while crossing his arms, suddenly very pleased with his own explanation. There was no way that someone as speedy as him had simply missed the rock on the first lap and then hit it straight on the second time. Absolutely no way the he flailed his arms wildly as he landed on his right knee and skidded to a halt a good number of feet away.Shadow was caught in a mixture of nodding and shaking his head. He sometimes wondered if Sonic’s pride would ever drop to a more manageable level when it was just the two of them. There was no need for embarrassment. He finished wiping away the liquid and all the dirt that came with it, getting the clean gauze to cover over the wound before firmly wrapping it in place. Shadow figured he could do this in his sleep with how many times he’d done it before, taping off the end with brush of his fingers. He closed up the kit and stood up so he could place it on the endtable before plopping down on the couch beside the other. “Right. Of course someone would put a rock in your way. Testing you reflexes,” Shadow tapped the new bandaging with his hand, “you failed.”Sonic truly hadn’t noticed his injury most of the way home, having hoped that it would heal on its own and he wouldn’t have to find an excuse for it. However now that it was clean and bandaged he could feel the pain with every pump of blood through his body. The tap didn’t help either. “My reflexes are just fine!” He pouted a little, leaning back into the soft cushions of their couch, “Maybe I was just a little distracted.”Shadow leaned back as well while throwing his arm across the top of the cushions just behind Sonic’s head. “That’s not a good way to run, Sonic.” Usually when they ran he could tell just by a quick glance what the other was focused on. Almost always it was the race or Shadow himself, as his partner would steal quick glances his way. “I know,” once again Sonic looked a bit nervous, “I’ve just got a lot on my mind today.”There was a short silence between the two. It hung in the air just shy of being awkward before Shadow gently pushed his shoulder against the other’s. It was a quiet plea to continue.Sonic was jostled out of his thoughts, looking up quickly at the other. He gave a smile, knowing he’d been caught. While Shadow wasn’t so great at expressing his emotions, Sonic wore them all on the outside. He knew he must have made some kind of face in his thinking so Shadow wasn’t going to let him get away with a lame excuse like that.He began to fidget by wringing his hands together, constantly adjusting the gloves he wore as if they suddenly didn’t fit right. “You know what’s coming up right?” In just a few short weeks their anniversary would roll around. It would mark a whole year of their relationship being official even though it felt like they were together for so much longer before that. Sonic figured that’s just how it is when you go so easily from friendship to relationship. The transition had been natural, as if they didn’t need to even say any magic words to make it concrete. They had officially announced their relationship to their friends though after coming to the conclusion that they needed some kind of label. That day was agreed upon as their anniversary.Shadow knew all that. He knew how to read a calendar and keep track of days. So he knew their anniversary was coming up but he wondered why the thought of it would make Sonic seem so nervous. “Our anniversary.”Sonic nodded, glad they were on the same page and he didn’t have to give Shadow the lecture on why anniversaries are important to people. He remembered having to explain to Shadow why it was still important to celebrate birthdays even though he had missed a good number of his own. “I’ve just been…thinking about it all day. ‘Cause I’ve never actually had one before. A-And this is our first, which is a big deal, but I don’t even know what to do for you.” Sonic raised his eyes to meet the other’s, “I want it to be special. One to remember! But I can’t even think of one thing to do that we don’t just do normally.”Furrowing his brow, Shadow was at a bit of a loss. He knew that anniversaries were important, and usually involved a celebration. But he also knew that he didn’t really need any kind of big party just to celebrate being with Sonic for a year. “Sonic, it doesn’t have to be…big.” That earned him the beginnings of a glare, so Shadow raised his hand. “I know it’s important, so spare me the speech. I’m not saying I haven’t been thinking about it too, but we don’t need a special thing we only do on this one occasion. We can just stay in and order a pizza. As long as we spend it together, isn’t that special enough?”In truth Shadow wasn’t a party person. He hadn’t known what to expect the first time Sonic threw him a birthday party, but the hedgehog had gone all out with decorations and food. He had invited all of their collective friends and made everyone wear silly party hats. Shadow had just about jumped out of his skin when he came home that day to a crowded house and everyone yelling at him. He still didn’t really like crowded places either, being so used to small environments with a set number of people around. He didn’t see the need to go out anywhere, especially if this was supposed to be a special day for just the two of them.Sonic looked disappointed though, frowning at the idea of just wasting their first anniversary on a quiet night in. He had thought of taking Shadow to a fancy restaurant, or taking him to see a fireworks show on the beach. The more he thought about it, the cheesier it sounded but Shadow wouldn’t know that. He would just think there were too many people around. Then there was getting the other a present. How do you get something for someone who doesn’t need anything? Shadow clearly had everything he needed to be content, and didn’t have any special hobbies. It was moments like these that Sonic thought Shadow was a rather boring person. But he knew that wasn’t true from all their late night talks and their own growing brand of humor. He couldn’t think of a single thing to get him.Shadow could see that the other was torn, and so was he. Just wanting to make Sonic happy was all Shadow really needed out of their anniversary. So an idea popped into his head and he gave the other another soft nudge in the shoulder. “Hey. I’ve got it. How about we split down the middle? We do one thing you want to do and one thing I want to do. That way we can both spend the night how we want to.”Ears perking up at the nudge, Sonic gave the idea some thought. Combining two date ideas could be better than one person calling the shots for the day. “Alright. I think that could work! How about a fancy dinner date?”A small smile slipped onto Shadow’s face at the other agreeing to his idea. “Then a movie here at home, curled up on the couch with snacks.”Sonic’s face lit up as the small cloud of gloom lifted from over his head. He should have known talking to Shadow about his worry over their anniversary would have been a much better idea than trying to figure it out all on his own. “Yeah! Now that sounds like a date!” He leaned over, nuzzling himself into the groove of Shadow’s body that had been left open for him this entire time. He gave a comfortable sigh as the arm behind his head slipped into place around him. “Thanks Shads, that takes a whole lot of worry off my mind.” Shadow simply nodded before leaning down to place a small kiss on the top of Sonic’s head, “Anytime. Now you can worry more about looking out for stray rocks on your afternoon runs.”A small blush crept onto Sonic’s cheeks.“Shut up.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- He pushed his legs as hard as they would go, beating down dirt and grass as he ran. There was a figure right in front of him that seemed to be within arm’s reach, yet every time he flung his arm out his fingertips would fall just short. It was like running on air. No matter how solid the ground felt and how much his muscles burned with effort, nothing brought the dark figure closer. It stood there, stock still and facing the away from him. Yet he wasn’t stupid. He’d know that silhouette from miles away. “Shadow!” The deafening silence around the two seemed to pop with the exclamation and caused the whole world to slide under his feet. Finally when he reached his hand out he managed to plant it on the other’s shoulder. Sonic almost crashed into the other, feeling the momentum suddenly die as if he had run halfway across the continent just to stop on a dime. The space around them seemed to change too, settling on a grassy hillside under a cluster of trees. The birds began to chirp while there was the sound of rushing water somewhere in the distance. It would have been something to appreciate but Sonic was too busy catching his breath in large gulps of air. “I finally caught up to you, bud. Why’d you run off like that?” The other had yet to make a move as Sonic held firmly onto the dark shoulder. It felt almost like holding onto a statue. As his breathing became regular, Sonic straightened his posture. Was Shadow ignoring him on purpose? He couldn’t think of having said anything wrong that would have upset him. With a small tap of his foot Sonic pulled on Shadow’s shoulder to try to get the hedgehog to turn and face him, “Shads, c’mon, what’s the ma—” His eyes were cold. Sonic took a step back as the other body turned completely, red eyes staring blankly into his own with such cool intensity that it caused a shiver to roll down Sonic’s spine. Those weren’t the eyes of his loving partner—there was no connection between them when they met. No spark of emotion that would always play through even if Shadow wasn’t trying to express anything. Gone was the inviting feeling and it left Sonic hollow. He knew this look. How he had hoped he’d never see it again. “You have no idea who I am….do you?” Emerald eyes snapped open in time with a sharp intake of breath. For a few seconds he felt numb, as if his body was still asleep while his mind had woken up abruptly. The room was dark aside from the soft red glow of the clock on the nightstand. It took his eyes some time to adjust and for his brain to register why he was suddenly awake. In a moment the dream came flooding back and Sonic had to hold in the gasp at the image of Shadow’s eyes. So much could be said with just a look from them, and Sonic prided himself on being able to read them in an instant. Even if Shadow’s face was completely expressionless Sonic could tell how he was feeling just by one glance into his eyes. They were the gateway that so few were allowed to use into Shadow’s inner feelings.So to see them as closed off and cold as he had in his dream felt like a shock. As if the one in his dream wasn’t the real Shadow. Even during their longest of arguments Shadow had never cut Sonic out as completely as the one in his dream had. But it wasn’t just the feeling of being stuck on the outside looking in; it was the dread of what else was missing.A lack on connection. A lack of recognition.Ever since Shadow lost his memory once, it became a constant fear in the back of Sonic’s mind. He didn’t want to see that look ever again—the look of a stranger. It had been hard enough the first time to get his feelings in check while he worked on getting Shadow to remember him and the friendship they had built together. The incident that caused it all was still a sore spot for Sonic especially now that he can look back and recognize his emotions for what they really were. He’d loved Shadow for a long time, and while he hadn’t ever been one to believe in love at first sight, retrospect taught him that love is always part of every friendship. Sometimes it just takes its own path and runs a little deeper for some. So when he first saw Shadow after the event it had been a major relief for Sonic. And yet… “Shadow?!” “Who are you? And how do you know me?”Sonic closed his eyes and held his breath for a moment at the memory. It was like a slap in the face and Sonic really didn’t want to have to relive that again. It had taken time and a lot of patience to get Shadow’s memory back and since then the two grew to be even more inseparable. But why now was Sonic having such a terrible nightmare about one of his deepest fears? Why now as he lay comfortably beside his partner with their anniversary just two weeks away? He tried not to put too much stock in dreams. After all half of his dreams were just him out in the city eating chili dogs or running along some picturesque scenery to no place in particular. It had to be some kind of stress response to all the over thinking his mind had been doing lately. The two of them had agreed on what to do for their anniversary so he knew he shouldn’t still be so stressed about that. Life was going great for them! They had a place to call home with everything they could ever need, they had each other, the world was safe and their friends were all happy and approving of their relationship. So what was there to stress?Life was perfect.Life was too perfect.There hadn’t been any serious trouble lately so it was almost like the hero was on vacation. There was no rush to do anything like save the world or help someone in need—not that he wanted anyone to be in danger. But that was just it. Danger was always a constant in his life. He was the hero so whenever someone needed something he would always be there to help. But things had settled down. He had settled down. He wasn’t running at full pace anymore just to get as much done as he could. Sonic didn’t consider himself an adrenaline junkie, but it was nice to constantly have a purpose and some praise along the way. Now he was settled into his home with someone he cared for more than anything else—completely content for almost a year—and just now he was realizing that he needed something more. Or maybe he needed to come to terms with taking things a little slower. This type of living wasn’t something he was used to but that didn’t make it bad. He was still a hero! It wasn’t like he was retiring just because he was in a relationship and had a house. This was just the beginning.Yet that nightmare, and those eyes. It sent another shiver down his spine to think of what those eyes had looked like. But he knew it was just in his mind. Shadow wasn’t likely to lose his memory all over again, so this was just his mind playing up his fear due to how uneasy and stressed he felt. What he had with Shadow was something he always knew he wanted; a loving and stable relationship with someone who understood him so completely. Just because this was his first one didn’t mean it was going to fall apart. Everything with Shadow came naturally, so he knew that he didn’t have to try so hard to make sure everything didn’t collapse. They were open and honest with each other. It would take an incredible feat to tear them apart.Like one of them forgetting everything about the other.Sonic was letting his insecurities get the better of him and his subconscious was taking full advantage. Sometimes he would find himself awake at night, mind running at full speed with possibilities: good times with friends, horrific battles against enemies, how long is forever really, and could they afford another house if they wanted a vacation home? This time it was doubt that gripped him and he could feel himself slipping into a panic—A warm hand found its way to his side in a gentle hold before slowly running up and down the light curve of his body. It brought Sonic back to himself, as if he had floated away during his revere. He realized that his breathing had gotten loud and quick, his hand gripped firmly under his pillow in an attempt to anchor himself.“Sonic? I think you had a nightmare. Are you alright?”Shadow pushed himself up to lean on one arm, trying to look at his partner’s face in the dim light of the alarm clock. Sonic had been fussing for at least ten minutes, breathing heavy and shivering in what Shadow had assumed was his sleep. He had waited to see if the nightmare would pass but Sonic seemed to be on the verge of hyperventilating. “Do you want to talk about it?”At first there was no response aside from the slowing down of Sonic’s breath. He didn’t know why but Sonic felt almost as if turning to look at Shadow would result in seeing those dead eyes again. But the other had used his name and sounded genuinely concerned so Sonic mustered up his courage in one quick turn. Shadow was hovering over him slightly, crimson eyes looking darker in the low light but not like they had in his dream. He saw tiredness, confusion and concern in those eyes. It had him releasing a small breath that he didn’t even know he was holding. “I’m fine. Just…yeah, just a bad dream.”Shadow moved to lay back down, his hand finding a new home on Sonic’s other side as they now faced each other. It was silent for a few minutes as they lay there staring at each other. Shadow knew it was more than just a bad dream. It must have been rough if it had Sonic shaking so badly. Yet Shadow wasn’t one to pry, he was more of a listener and normally Sonic offered up his feelings quite readily. He let the silence stretch, rubbing the other’s side and making small patterns in his fur to show that he was there. He was ready to listen.As the minutes passed Sonic only wanted to keep Shadow’s gaze locked in his mind. That look of concern and understanding. Even if talking to Shadow was as natural as talking to a mirror Sonic’s pride still kept certain things inside. His fear of Shadow’s amnesia was one of those things.The hand on his side was soothing, the real anchor Sonic needed to keep himself grounded in the moment. This was real, this was his life and he wasn’t going to screw it up. He would make sure of it. But it wasn’t his burden to bear alone. They were equals in this life they had built together, so Shadow deserved to know Sonic’s feelings so they could both work on a potential ‘solution’. With a shaky sigh he let down a bit of his bravado that had built up after being caught having a nightmare. “It was just…” he paused, trying to avoid the actual contents of the dream, “A nightmare. I’d really rather not talk about it.”Shadow nodded in silent agreement to let the subject of the nightmare drop.“But…I was thinking after I woke up,” Sonic let his gaze drop from Shadow’s eyes, “I don’t really know what I’m doing.” He could feel the questioning stare so he continued, “Like I said before, this is my first relationship. This is the first time in my life where I have something stable that isn’t just fighting bad guys. I have you. Our home, our life that we’ve built and some peace for once—but how do we know it’ll stay this way? How do I know I’m not going to mess it up tomorrow or on our anniversary? My whole life things would look like they were going okay and then something would happen and I’d have to start over from square one. I don’t want to have to do that with you—” again.Sonic was getting worked up again, so Shadow tightened his grip on the other’s side in the hope it would calm him down a bit. “Sonic. Stop. Breathe.”He did as he was told, taking in a lungful of air. He’d almost let his fear slip in his confession. He hoped that Shadow wouldn’t put two and two together.“I know how you feel. My life has been a whirlwind of terrible things one right after the other. But do you know what helped?”Sonic could only give a small shake of his head in response.“You.”Looking into wide emerald eyes Shadow continued, “You barreled your way into my life and became the only constant I had in a long time. I know that I lost that connection with you for a bit but that didn’t change the fact that you never left my side. We were rivals, then friends and now we’re far more than anything I could have ever hoped to have. You’re not going to ruin it, and we’re not going to let anything else ruin it.”Sonic tried not to flinch at Shadow’s blatant reference to his own amnesia. Yet what he said was true. Once they had found each other again Sonic refused to leave the other alone until his memories were back. They were friends and Sonic would never leave a friend behind just because it involved a lot of work. Sonic had gone to see him every day. They would chat about mundane things as Sonic brought Shadow to places they had visited before in attempts to spark some kind of recognition. It had been like starting fresh on a blank canvas, painting a new base layer of trust and comfort. Until one day it had all come flooding back, filling out the rest of the colors to their canvas. They built their relationship on solid ground so Sonic knew there was no real reason to worry over it.“You’re just nervous. Once our anniversary passes I’m sure you’ll be back to your over confident laid back way of thinking.” Shadow tried to lighten the mood. Seeing Sonic so gloomy didn’t sit right with Shadow. Everybody had fears and doubts, but of all his emotions Sonic hid those the best. It wasn’t healthy to always hide it, but it wasn’t any better to let it consume one’s mind.“Hey!” Sonic pouted a bit. They had been having a moment and Shadow had to ruin it with his dry humor. It was a welcome change though. He knew that Shadow was just doing his best to cheer him up. It was greatly appreciated. “I’m a healthy level of confident!”That brought a small smirk to Shadow’s lips. “Yeah? Is it healthy to take on a whole fleet of robots by yourself?” That earned him a pillow to the face. He chuckled a bit when the pillow moved to reveal Sonic’s pout behind it. “Alright, alright I get it.”The two made adjustments to the bed as the mood around them settled into something quiet and somber. There was more to talk about but it could always wait for another time. For now they needed to get back to sleep. They pulled in close to each other, faces almost lost to the give of their pillows. Sonic closed his eyes hoping he would have a better dream this time. Shadow watched his partner for a while, seeing the subtle changes in his posture and breathing as he slowly drifted off.“I won’t forget you again. I promise.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Putting a label on their new found relationship had been an easy task. It was Sonic’s idea more than anything, as well as Sonic’s idea to tell all their friends. Yet deciding to do it and actually following through were two completely different things. He was sure that everyone would be okay with it—no one seemed to bother them about how close they were before. But would they actually approve? Being in a relationship with Shadow felt natural, as if it was something that was just meant to happen between the two and once it did Sonic couldn’t help that feeling inside bubble up of I wanna tell everyone! Yet now as he stood outside of a small bakery he felt as though keeping it between them might have been the better option. He was waiting for Amy to finish her shift. The girl had found that she had a real knack for making sweets, so why not start her own bakery? “We have to tell all of our friends about it at least!” Sonic insisted after the initial rush of happiness had settled down a bit and he wasn’t practically bouncing in his seat on their couch anymore. They had been sharing a comfortable moment of watching tv together, sitting so close on the couch that they were almost touching. This was typical for them lately, sitting or standing close by to the other in a way that acted as a quiet reminder that the other was always there. A commercial came on that wasn’t particularly interesting so they looked at each other instead. Sonic made a joke about the commercial which earned him a chuckle from Shadow. A soft smile settled on Sonic’s face at the sound, “Wow. I really love your laugh.” That earned a raised eyeridge from Shadow before he simply responded, “Well, I love you.” The silence after was short as Sonic leaned in just that last few inches between them to place a kiss on Shadow’s lips. It was quick, but Sonic felt so giddy as Shadow instantly reciprocated the move before they separated. “I love you too.” With that it felt like everything had slid into place for the two of them. It was a long time coming but neither had felt like they had to rush to get to this moment. It was probably the slowest thing Sonic had ever done in his life and he found the reward for taking it slow was the best thing he’d ever received. “So I guess this means we’re together now, huh?” Shadow only blinked, “We’re always together.” Sonic chuckled, “No I mean, we’re together. As in dating. As in boyfriends? Or we could use a different word if you want…” Shadow had even less experience then Sonic did at the whole romance thing. He had learned in the past about relationships and he had consumed enough media to see all kinds of examples. He knew the terminology; he knew the expectations and assumptions placed on people in couples. He also knew that what he had with Sonic and what he felt inside was nothing like those contrived romances he saw in the media. What he felt for Sonic was this natural pull towards the other. To want to be around him, to hear him laugh and beam that smile that Shadow felt was just for him. To want to keep him safe from harm but also push him towards success in everything he did. Shadow felt that that was love. “We can use whatever terms you want.” Sonic could feel the small amount of heat that was making its way over his cheeks as he thought back to his and Shadow’s confession. While he knew that nothing had really changed between the two of them besides a label and potential sappy nicknames, Sonic couldn’t help feeling like there was a little extra pep in his step. His blood was pumping fast but in this very moment he was having a hard time distinguishing euphoria from nerves.The first person he told the news to was Tails, and thankfully he took it incredibly easily. Sonic had dropped by for a quick visit on his way to the bakery, figuring that telling as many people as he could in one day would make the whole process easier. Word of mouth could travel almost as fast as he could, so he gave Tails permission to let their other friends know. The only exception was Amy. Sonic knew he had to tackle that conversation face to face.The two of them had been friends for years, which meant Amy had plenty of opportunities to tag along on Sonic’s many adventures. At first he was reluctant to let her join in on any of the battles. She was younger than him so, like Tails, Sonic figured that she would need protecting. The first years were rough, with Amy getting in the way more than helping with her short temper. It led her into trouble which Sonic had to then rescue her out of. No one ever got too seriously hurt, but Amy would fawn over Sonic in appreciation for being the hero. He knew that Amy liked him, but never had he ever returned the feelings—even before Shadow was in the picture. He saw her as more of a sister, just like Tails would always be his little brother. So Sonic had to break the news to her personally.His ears perked up with the soft chime of the bell above the bakery door as it opened, his signature smile coming into view to mask the nerves he felt. Out stepped Amy who immediately turned on her heal to close and lock the door as part of her end of the day routine. A wide smile broke over her face as she noticed Sonic standing next to the entryway. “Sonic!” She threw her arms open to embrace him, squeezing tight as if they hadn’t seen each other in months and not just a week prior. “You didn’t tell me you were coming by. I would have made you a batch of cookies.”He returned the hug in earnest, noting with amusement that she still had cake flour clinging to her quills. “Nah, it’s okay. I just figured I’d pop by and see if you were up to taking a walk with me.”That earned him a raised eyeridge as Amy pulled back from the hug, “A walk? The fastest thing alive wants to take a walk?” She wasn’t going to complain about being able to spend time with the guy she considered her best friend, though Sonic wanting to take walks was rare. Something was up with him, and Amy resolved herself to figuring out what. “Sure! You can walk me home.”Amy double checked the door out of habit before they turned to make their way towards her apartment. Sonic did his best to act casual as they strolled at what he thought was the opposite of a leisurely pace. He wanted to have this go as smoothly as possible and based on Amy’s reaction to the simple suggestion of a walk he knew that he’d already thrown up a red flag. Amy was a considerably caring person. She had a temper but usually it only peeked when she was worked up with concern for her friends. Sonic knew that she cared for him probably more than anyone else and that in itself was making the words he wanted to say feel like sand in his mouth. Before he realized it they had already walked half the distance to Amy’s apartment and neither of them had said anything. He couldn’t understand why telling Amy that he was in a relationship was harder than actually forming said relationship. Yet in reality he knew why. He didn’t want to ruin their friendship by crushing her feelings.Mustering up his courage he opened his mouth to start, “Amy-!”“Sonic!”He stopped altogether as Amy stepped in front of him on the sidewalk, hands on her hips in determination. “Alright, tell me what’s wrong. You barely ever ask to go for walks, and you haven’t said a single thing for almost fifteen minutes. I can tell that you’re nervous. We’re friends Sonic, so you can tell me anything.” She gave him a look that conveyed worry but also claimed that she wasn’t going to back down from this conversation. She’d been watching him as they walked out of the corner of her eye. He had been staring ahead with a vacant look that meant his mind was somewhere else. He even began to chew on his bottom lip, which she knew to be a giveaway as a nervous habit.Amy had given him the perfect opening to just blurt out what he needed to say and yet in the silence that followed her reassuring words Sonic couldn’t just let it out. He had to ease it into conversation. He was a hero, who faced off with evil more than a handful of times, someone strong who knew how to stay cool in the direst of situations, so he knew that he couldn’t just let his nerves get the best of him and blurt out “I love Shadow.”There was a pause that was followed by a very meek, “What?”Sonic’s eyes grew wide as he realized that he had just said that out loud. That was not how he had wanted this to go at all. “I just…well! I mean, Shadow and I are, y’know.” He put his hands up in mock surrender, waving them a bit franticly as he tried to explain. “We’re dating! Look Amy I wanted to bring this up in a more gentle way because I know about your feelings and I don’t want to hurt you in any way, but Shadow and I just sort of clicked together like I’ve never experienced before with anyone. I mean yeah, I’ve never really had an interest in anyone before him even though I know people have tried—you have tried—but nothing has felt like this. And I didn’t know how to tell you, I’m so nervous, I wasn’t leading you on or anything I swear—love is just so-!” He stopped short as he felt her grab his hands to stop them from moving around so much. He looked down, focusing on that connection instead of her face since he wasn’t sure what he would find there.She held firmly onto his hands, cradling them between her own in an attempt to show understanding. “Sonic.” His gaze was firmly fixed downwards so she leaned in a little so her gentle voice could be heard, “It’s okay.” It was true that Amy harbored feelings for Sonic at one point in their friendship. She had wanted years ago for their lives to come together and evolve into something intimate. As they grew older her feelings changed, and she knew that her crush faded with the need to keep Sonic safe. Just like all of their friends. While she had given up chasing for his affection, it didn’t mean she couldn’t show her own brand of affection for him. She guessed that it was her physical expressions of joy that made Sonic think she still might be in love with him.Sonic could feel the confusion on his own face as he chanced a look up to meet Amy’s gaze. “It’s…okay? But what about your..?”Amy shook her head with a soft smile on her face, “It’s okay. You don’t have to love me. Not the same way that you love him. We’re friends Sonic. Did you think I didn’t notice the way you look at him? How you two are always so close, on and off the battlefield? You guys hang out the most of everyone in our friends circle so it was really only a matter of time. As long as you’re happy and don’t forget the rest of us while you’re caught up in relationship bliss.” She couldn’t help but tease him a little. Anything to get that cloud of gloom out from over Sonic’s head.Sonic felt the heat from earlier come back up into his cheeks. Here he had been so worried to tell Amy but it seemed that she already knew before he had a chance to say it. He couldn’t help but laugh a little at that, “So everyone pretty much knows, huh?”Amy’s smile grew wider, “You two aren’t exactly what you’d call subtle.”It was like a weight being lifted off his shoulders as Sonic let out the biggest sigh of relief. Putting a label on his and Shadow’s relationship really hadn’t changed anything. He shifted his hands so he could return the grip Amy had on him, “Thanks Amy. It really means a lot to me that you understand. Sorry for being a weird nervous wreck there for a bit.”“Don’t worry about it.” Amy leaned back a bit to tug Sonic forward, getting them walking again. “C’mon, let’s finish up our walk.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “You have to stop doing that.”Sonic could only blink, ears perking a bit in response to the words spoken so softly just above him that he almost didn’t catch them. He leaned his head back, turning in his seat to find Shadow standing just behind the couch with his hands on his hips and a neutral expression on his face. “What?”A bit of a smile cracked through on Shadow’s face, seeing Sonic peer up at him with pure innocence mixed with a hint of bewilderment was rather adorable. He let out a small huff of air and made a sweeping gesture with one arm. “Doing things that make me want to kiss you.”There was a small silence that hovered in the air between them, finding Sonic confused for a moment and Shadow almost begging for some kind of reaction before the one in front of him let out a soft giggle. Sonic moved to kneel on the couch, facing his partner by bracing his hands on the back of the piece of furniture. “Hmmm, no.”“No?”“No. I don’t think I can stop doing these things you’re referring to because I don’t know what they are.” Sonic could only smirk, doing his best to act coy. He had just been sitting and watching television on the couch, catching up on episodes of their favorite show that Shadow had watched without him while he had been out doing a bit of around the city hero work. So what had he done to make Shadow want to kiss him? More importantly why hadn’t Shadow just gone and done it? So Sonic wanted to see if he could entice Shadow’s sudden playfulness.Shadow had always been a more reserved person. When they first met they had been happy to be rivals. They would constantly compete to see who was faster, which back in those days would either start or end with a physical brawl. Sonic would constantly find new ways to get under the other’s skin to try and rile him up so that they could race. When they had started to become friends, Shadow would drop hints to things in his past. Such as things he didn’t like and why he was so set on fighting. It took a long time before he told Sonic the darker parts of his past, but that was right before the two of them were separated and had to start anew. All the ground that Sonic had made into earning Shadow’s trust and friendship had been lost. So getting him to come back out of his shell had been an arduous task even for the optimistic hero. Getting through to the depths of Shadow’s personality was hard enough the first time, but the second time had been far worse.So to say that Sonic was proud to be one of the only people to know Shadow’s mind was an understatement. Except that didn’t mean he was an open book all the time. Shadow starting something romantic between the two of them wasn’t as frequent as Sonic starting something, so for him to make such a bold statement now was refreshing. Sonic planned on seeing just how far he could take this.Shadow knew a challenge when he saw one, especially from Sonic. Shadow also knew next to nothing about being romantic. Everything he had learned so far was either from Sonic himself or from observation and the consumption of main stream media. He knew that no two relationships were the same and people liked different things. But in his time with Sonic he learned that his partner liked it when he made an effort to soften the edges on his personality and be more open. Something that Shadow silently wished Sonic would do himself.“First off, Sonic, you’re watching our favorite show. You probably haven’t noticed but you get rather worked up when one of the contestants on the show doesn’t do something right.” Shadow took a step forward, leaning down just a bit to close the distance between them. “You puff your cheeks out and tap your foot because I know you want to yell at them but they can’t hear you.”Sonic could feel the heat rising up to his cheeks a bit. He knew he was the type to yell at shows or movies when he didn’t like what was happening in them. Its why Tails and Amy put special rules in place for their biweekly movie nights. They didn’t want him talking over the movie, especially scary ones, so they told him if he was too loud he would have to run five laps around the house as punishment. “You think that’s cute?”“I think it’s endearing. You’ve got such a kindhearted soul and a need to help that you want to give advice to people on a prerecorded show displayed on a screen.”Sonic pouted at that. “That makes me sound kinda stupid.”Shadow shook his head with a chuckle, “No. You get flustered, and I can see a bit of unease in you when you can’t help people. It makes me want to just kiss the frustration away until you remember that you’re not useless. You’re a hero.”The façade of their game fell away as Sonic processed that tiny bit of information. As hard as he always tried to get under Shadow’s tough skin it seemed so easy for the other to get under his own. As if for all the defenses he put up in the past with his snarky attitude and trademark smile, Shadow blew past them as if they weren’t even there. Maybe it was because the two of them were evenly matched in speed. Or maybe this was what people meant by meeting someone who loves you so completely they accept all your faults and flaws with hopes that they can help you learn to accept them. Sonic let himself sink back on his heels, realizing that maybe as good as he thought he was at hiding his fears, that Shadow probably knew each and every one. He did his best to crack a bit of a smile, “Guess I’m an open book, huh?”Shadow realized his words of encouragement might have sunk a bit deeper than he had intended, wavering in his decision to have used the words he had. He knew that he was bad at expressing things in a way that wasn’t point blank, which is partially why he was bad at romance. However he’d been able to see past Sonic’s bravado for years now, and it was only a matter of time before Sonic realized that. They didn’t have to hide anything from each other, and yet Shadow was still learning that himself. “Sonic.” He leaned in further; using his hands to gently cup his partner’s face and lift it slightly so their eyes could meet. “Maybe you are a book. A special unique text that could only be read by those it wanted to read it. You let me into your life when you barreled into mine and I could never thank you enough for what you’ve taught me. You’ve shown me so much about this world that at one point I didn’t think was worth saving. But it is. And so are you. You make every minute of every day worth something to those around you. But you don’t have to be strong all the time. It’s all right to slip up. I’ll be there for you when you do, just like you were there for me.”A heavy feeling filled the air, a serious tone with a powerful message that passed from one to the other and it left Sonic feeling almost breathless. Trying to find the right word to describe his feelings in that moment was hard until he realized that he was overthinking it. This is what love felt like. This was that feeling he had when they first kissed. The feeling of adrenaline pumping through his veins as they raced. The feeling of acceptance for all his faults and doubts. The feeling that he found someone whom he wanted to protect and who wanted him safe with just as much passion. It was a rush and Sonic found that he couldn’t help the tears as they clouded his vision.Startled, Shadow moved his face back just a bit so he could look the other up and down. “Sonic? Are you okay?”A smile finally came to Sonic’s lips as he took a deep breath and tried to blink his vision clear. “Y-Yeah, I just..” He felt Shadows thumbs gently wipe away the water from his cheeks and knew that this was a safe moment, just for the two of them. “I love you so much. I don’t know why it took so long but I just noticed that this is it. This is our life. It’s like everything up until now was a blur of quick decisions and constant danger, so the last year was like a dream. But this is it. Our home. Our love. Our life. I don’t even know why I’m crying.”“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”Sonic shook his head, “No I’m sorry I didn’t realize sooner. It’s hard when my mind is constantly running at top speed.”The corners of Shadow’s mouth pulled up a bit, “Maybe you can learn to slow down some and enjoy the view once in a while.”Sonic’s hands came up to cup over the ones on his face, “Maybe you need to learn how to be romantic without being so blunt.”Shadow only huffed at that, “Well why don’t you lead by example then? What should I do to be more romantic?”Sonic’s smile grew stronger then, a small semblance of their original playful banter coming back, “You can start by kissing me.”There was the smile that Shadow loved. He never wanted to see Sonic in pain or distress, especially if he himself caused it. They had come a long way from rivalry and Shadow vowed to never let anything happen to the other as long as he could be there to prevent it. “So blunt, hedgehog.” With a smirk of his own Shadow finally closed the gap between their faces by placing his lips against the other’s. He felt Sonic laugh against him before reciprocating as best he could with his face trapped by both of their hands. Shadow eyes had slipped closed so he could enjoy the sensations of skin, feeling Sonic’s hands leave his own so they could travel up his arms to wrap around his back and pull them closer together. However Shadow knew that their position was awkward with himself standing and Sonic kneeling on the couch, yet that didn’t stop Sonic from pulling with his whole weight so Shadow would tumble over the piece of furniture and on top of him. As they landed their lips parted so they could both release a puff of air and take in a breath.“You could have just asked me to lay down with you.”“Nah! This was quicker.”They took a moment to really look each other over, pressed together by gravity in a mess of limbs and pillows with quills astray and tear tracks having dried in Sonic’s fur against the grain, neither of them could move. In this moment Sonic felt like this was the most pure love he could ever experience, but never knew if he would ever find it. Shadow knew love existed, but never thought he could ever really deserve it.Shadow opened his mouth but as if knowing what he was going to say Sonic put a finger over his partner’s lips. “Shh. It’s okay. How about another kiss?”With the subtle shifting of his weight, Shadow lifted his hand to take Sonic’s from his mouth—peppering it in small kisses as he laced their fingers together and pressed their hands down beside Sonic’s head. He continued his trail of kisses up Sonic’s arm, to his chest before working into the crook of his neck. With a pause there to breathe in the scent before resuming his way up to his destination and planting a quick kiss on the other’s lips. “I love you too.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Sonic blinked his eyes open slowly, letting the morning light bring him out of that haze known as sleep. The window by the bed, though covered by the shade, was bright. The light seeping through gave the white walls a warm hue. The blankets he slept under felt like a small mountain whose weight pressed down on top of him like a gentle embrace. The room was quiet, as if a bubble had surrounded it to block out all the outside noise. It all felt so relaxing that Sonic closed his eyes with the intent to get just a few more minutes of sleep. As he waited for his mind to drift off, he noticed something. The quiet of their room was usually broken early in the morning by the sounds of birds. There were a few regulars that Sonic always heard, yet in this moment there was nothing. He opened his eyes again to look at the alarm clock which boldly stated in its red font that it was 9:00 AM. So where were the birds?With a dose of reluctance, Sonic pushed himself to sit up. The motion caused the arm that had held firmly around his chest to slide down to his lap. That earned him a noise that could have been a snore or a simple snort from his partner. Sonic gave him a glance, seeing that Shadow was in fact still sleeping soundly beside him. When it came to sleeping in late, the two usually took turns. Sometimes Sonic’s hero work would have him up just at sunrise so he could get the most out of his day while some days Shadow’s job had him up and out of the house by 7. Rare as it was, there were days like this where neither of them had to work so they could sleep in as late as their bodies would let them. While they both agreed it was more productive to get up early, neither one made much effort to set an alarm on their days off. As gently as he could manage Sonic picked up Shadow’s arm by the hand—placing a kiss to each knuckle—and placed it back on the bed. Even if they fell asleep on opposite sides of the bed, they would always wake up wrapped around each other.He pushed off the rest of the blankets to swing his legs off the side of the bed. The wood floor was cold under his feet so he quickly got up to shuffle over to the window. He listened there for a moment, waiting to hear even the faintest sound of birds in the distance but could only furrow his brow at the silence. A small tug on the shade made it rise, Sonic guiding it slowly as his eyes adjusted to the added light. He gave a small gasp as he realized what was waiting on the other side: snow.It had snowed overnight and must have only stopped recently as there was not a single animal track in the flat expanse of white. What Sonic had been hearing was the silence that follows a snowfall when the whole world seems to come to a standstill. There were no birds chirping at the windowsill, and no forest animals running through the trees. It was just a cold landscape of glittering snow that while beautiful and cold had Sonic’s mind begging to go out and run the first tracks. The thought had Sonic away from the window and throwing on as many layers as he could so he could go outside. Socks, shoes, gloves, jacket, hat, scarf—“What are you doing?”Sonic stopped in the middle of zipping up his jacket. In his rush to get outside as fast as he could he realized he might have been making a fair amount of noise with all the drawers he had opened looking for his winter gloves. He turned to give the other a sheepish grin, like a child caught with their hand in a cookie jar, “Just, uh, bundling up?”Shadow threw a quick glance to the clock as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. It was still early for a day off to get up, and yet Sonic seemed to be bursting with energy and the need to go somewhere. “Why?”“Oh y’know. Just gonna go out for a morning run! You looked so comfy that I didn’t want to wake you to ask if you wanted to join me.”“If it’s a morning run, why do you need all those layers?” Despite getting up early almost every day, Shadow wasn’t exactly a morning person. It took him a while to get over the grogginess that followed even the best night’s sleep. It didn’t mean there weren’t days that Shadow would get up first and have breakfast ready before Sonic even cracked his eyes open once. It just meant that sometimes it took him a few extra minutes to really begin to function and on those days Sonic would bring him breakfast before slowly waking him with kisses.“’Cause there’s snow outside! It’s the first snowfall of winter, and it’s just perfect for me to run through. You can come with me if you want,” Sonic smiled at the idea. He’d love to see Shadow try to skate through the snow. While Sonic hadn’t been there for the very first time Shadow had experienced snow, he was there for his second first time.Sonic had taken him around the city for the third time that week in hopes of sparking something, but with no luck they decided to retreat to Tails’s workshop. They had stopped to walk for a while about halfway there when the first flakes began to float down around them. It had been cold all day but Sonic didn’t think it would begin to snow so early in the season. At first Shadow didn’t seem to notice until one of the bigger flakes landed on his nose. “What is this? This..cold thing on my face?” Sonic chuckled, “It’s a snowflake, Shads. It’s snowing.” It had earned him a look of pure curiosity. So Sonic explained what snow was and why it fell in winter, what the different seasons were and how the weather changed. It was a basic topic; something everyone knew but Shadow had looked at him like he was explaining the secrets of the universe. It was a precious thing, being given the opportunity to reteach Shadow how things worked—an opportunity that had come at a high price which left Sonic with the feeling of protectiveness. He had to make sure Shadow didn’t get the wrong information. He had to make sure Shadow’s memory came back. He had to make sure it never got lost again. As endearing as Shadow’s innocent curiosity had been, it was also heartbreaking.“—nic. Sonic?”Sonic blinked quickly to snap out of his revere. He realized that he must have spaced out as he was lost in the memory of their ‘first’ snowfall. He focused on Shadow, who was looking at him with a bit of concern. “Huh? Oh, yeah, uh. Sorry, what?”“Okay. I was saying that maybe you should just stay inside since it’s going to be cold out there and snow isn’t exactly the best thing to run around in,” Shadow leaned forward a bit, wanting to reach out and pull Sonic back into bed but the other was standing down by his feet. He knew that he himself was known to stare off at times when lost in thought or memory but Sonic spacing out like that wasn’t as common. Sure Sonic liked to day dream, and stand at the top of the nearby hill to look out over the scenery but not to the point where Shadow had to raise his voice to get his attention. “What were you thinking about?”Sonic shook his head, “A little bit of cold isn’t going to stop me from going outside. That would leave me nothing to do all winter.” He finished zipping up his jacket, making sure his scarf was tucked snuggly inside the collar so it wouldn’t blow away in the wind. It was a diligent way to delay answering Shadow’s question even though he knew that now that the other was awake he would be see right through Sonic’s obvious aversion. “Y’know, snow. How funny it would be to see you try to rocket over it just to have it melt under your feet.” That was partially true.Shadow wasn’t completely satisfied with that answer but let it go regardless. “I’m not going out there to try and run over the snow. It would ruin my shoes.”“Aw, why not? It would be fun! Just the two of us out there, racing around the running trail. I’m sure after a few laps we won’t even feel the cold.” Sonic took the few steps around to the side of the bed, tugging on the blankets to slowly uncover his partner’s dark fur.Shadow responded to the pulling of the blanket by taking hold of the zipper on Sonic’s jacket and pulling it slowly down. “It would be more fun if you got back into bed with me, and we can keep warm right now.”Sonic could feel his face getting warm, and it wasn’t just from wearing multiple layers inside the house. It seemed that Shadow was getting better at subtlety and suggestion. It caught Sonic a bit off guard, as he wasn’t expecting such a direct proposition. He did his best to play coy, “Shadow! Are you flirting with me?”“It’s only practical to stay inside on a cold day. We can sit on the couch under a blanket and watch TV. Or lay here, under these blankets.”Sonic found that the warm embrace Shadow offered was tempting. Looking at Shadow’s unkempt quills and fur that was sticking up from sleep was comical, but it showed that their bed was comfortable, safe and secure. His resolve was slipping. Yet a quick glance out the window at the sun shining off the surface of the snow had Sonic itching to go out there. “Just a quick run. A handful of laps. You don’t even have to get out of bed, I just want to go out and stretch my legs.” He leaned forward to place a quick kiss on the other’s forehead before bolting out of the room. The quick departure left Shadow to huff and flop back into their nest of pillows.Outside was just as quiet as it seemed when Sonic closed the front door behind himself to venture out to find the beginning of his running trail. The snow crunched below his shoes in a way that left large indents in the pristine surface. It was a good foot of snow at least which made it rather hard to walk. For a split second Sonic doubted his decision to run in it, but figured once he got going he could make his own trail and enjoy the crisp air. While he didn’t like water outside of small containers, snow was different. Not just because it was frozen, but because it was gentle. When it rained the drops were harsh against the surfaces that it collided with. Snow fell in a light whisper as if it was trying to put the ground beneath it to sleep. It brought the rushing world to a slow crawl, so that it could be enjoyed for a few moments. It seemed like the exact opposite of the type of life Sonic had led up until now, which is probably why he liked it. It was different. It was peaceful. After trekking past the tree line Sonic found a good place to start running. His goal was to make the first impressions in the untouched blanket of snow and breaking the silence the hung in the air. Once he took off he ran a large circle through the trees, running over his own footsteps again and again to try and keep stable footing on the slippery surface of packed down snow. He pulled his scarf up so the wind wouldn’t burn his face as much, the cold air filling his lungs in a way that the humid air of summer never could. It was refreshing even through the burn.After thirty laps around the same path Sonic skidded to a halt at the edge of the tree line, sending a wave of snow through the air. He wasn’t tired, but the extra layers were making him overly warm so he stopped to try and let the air cool him off a bit. What he didn’t expect while taking his short break was the snowball that came flying to hit him square in the back of the head. Startled at the snow now sliding out of his quills, he turned on his heel to find the culprit. There stood Shadow in the middle of their front yard with only a scarf around his neck and another snowball in his hand. “Hey! What was that for?”“For letting snow get in the house when you opened the front door,” Shadow tossed the fresh snowball at his partner and managed to hit him in the chest. “That one was just for fun.”Sonic wiped the snow off his jacket as a smirk pulled over his lips. “Just for fun, huh?” He gathered up some snow of his own, packing it quickly into a ball, “You do know this means war right?”Shadow’s smirk was playful but wicked, “I never back down from a fight, hedgehog.”Sonic threw his snowball, just grazing Shadow’s shoulder as the other ducked out of the way. It began the first snowball fight of the season and for half an hour the two exchanged dozens of throws while running around their yard. Shadow landed more hits up until Sonic fled to the cover of the trees. Hiding behind them he managed to get a small advantage that left Shadow’s fur coated in at least a half dozen snowballs. Sonic took a moment to peak out from behind his cover as he readied another shot when he realized that Shadow wasn’t moving around quite as quickly as he usually did. He watched as Shadow ran across the yard to try and find some cover of his own and finally noticed that he wasn’t wearing his usual shoes. Instead he was wearing boots. Sonic was baffled for a moment, not even sure where Shadow got those boots from, when he got another snowball to the face. It left him sputtering for a second before he decided he’d had enough snowballs thrown at his head. Using his small speed advantage Sonic sped out from behind cover to run straight at Shadow who took a step back at the unexpected charge but not enough to prevent Sonic from crashing into him and sending them both down into the snow.They both let out a small ‘oof’ at the impact but after a moment it had them both laughing.“I win!”“How does knocking us both down into a snow pile count as you winning?”“Because I covered you in the most snow. So I’m taking it as a win.”That earned Sonic a snort from Shadow as well as a handful of snow to the face all the same. He shook it off as best he could which only caused it to fall on Shadow’s face. There was a quiet moment then as they lay there—the remnants of their fight leaving the snow in their yard in complete disarray. It was peaceful. Sonic couldn’t think of a better way to spend this moment then to close the distance for a kiss that was already partially breathless. Shadow responded eagerly, feeling the warmth of the body on top of him seep into his fur in a vibrant contrast to the cold ground beneath him. Shadow’s hands did their best to sneak their way up under Sonic’s jacket—looking for warmth by sliding through fur. It sent a delightful shiver through Sonic’s body that had him pushing back into the touch. But he knew they were still outside in a mound of snow. So he broke the kiss to press their foreheads together, “Maybe we should go inside.”He felt Shadow nod against him so he pushed up to stand, taking Shadow’s hands as they slipped out from his jacket to pull him up. The walk inside was quick but Shadow stopped them both at the entryway after the door was closed. “Let’s leave the snow at the door. We don’t need to track it all over the house.” Sonic obliged by taking off all his snow-filled clothes but found that once his extra layers were gone he was even colder than before. It had him shivering, and crossing his arms over his chest in a vague attempt to keep warm. “It’s so cold.”That got him a look of ‘I told you so’ from Shadow, which earned Shadow in return Sonic sticking out his tongue. Shadow led them both to the bathroom, where he wrapped a plush towel around his partner before rubbing his shoulders and making his way down. “You can take a hot shower later if you want. For now we’ll warm up slowly with some blankets. Like the ones on the couch.” He continued to work the towel over Sonic’s fur in an attempt to dry him off as best he could. Sonic relaxed at the touch, feeling the warmth slowly make its way back into his skin. Even though Shadow acted tough all the time around other people, Sonic got to see his soft caring side. It made him feel special to have someone so stoic open up to him and made moments like these stand out. The two of them did their best to take care of each other. Whether it was making sure they didn’t over sleep their alarm or making sure they both made it home off the battlefield.Once he was satisfied with his work, Shadow brought them to the couch where he instructed Sonic to sit before wrapping him up as best he could with the blanket. With a small kiss on the forehead to mimic the one Sonic had given him in the bedroom, Shadow went back to the bathroom to dry off his own fur.Sonic settled into his newfound blanket cocoon with a smile. He had not only gotten to go out for the run he wanted but he managed to get Shadow out there too. He was happy to have enjoyed the first snowfall of winter with something as fun as a snowball fight. He would have suggested making a snowman but they had kicked up so much snow during their scuffle that there really wasn’t much left for one. It didn’t really bother him all that much though; he knew there would be more snow to come and more opportunities to go out. He heard the bathroom door creak open and the soft padding of Shadow’s footsteps move to the kitchen. After a few minutes of listening to him rustle around in there the footsteps returned only to stop just behind the couch. Sonic looked up to find Shadow with two steaming mugs. “What’d ya bring me?”“Hot chocolate. I know how much you like it in the winter and what better way to warm up then sharing some under a warm blanket?” Shadow moved around the couch as Sonic opened up his blanket nest to allow Shadow entry. Shadow then handed him a cup and pulled the blanket closed around them with his free hand. They settled in together—pressed in as close as they could get while still having room to drink their cocoa.Sonic smiled down at the cup he held tightly between his hands, “Thanks. For the cocoa. And for coming outside with me. You had a lot of fun even though you didn’t want to get out of bed.”Shadow ventured a sip from his own mug, “You’re welcome. Maybe next time you’ll wait for me to get out of bed before you go letting the snow in the house. Or maybe you’ll just take me up on my offer to stay in bed.”“Oh trust me, it was incredibly tempting. With that flirting and that bedhead you were rocking, I had a hard time saying no.”Shadow tossed him a look from over the rim of his cup, “Next time I’ll just pull you back into bed and take those extra layers off myself.”Sonic sputtered a bit into his cup, having finally tried to take a sip of the steaming liquid. The heat in his cheeks wasn’t from the cocoa. “That’s not very subtle, Shads.”
10406202	Lechuza Renegade	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "Other", "Characters": "Reaper \| Gabriel Reyes, Soldier: 76 \| Jack Morrison, Reader", "Fandom": null, "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by JauntyHako", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-22T00:00:00", "words": "3,037", "Additional Tags": "Implied/Referenced Drug Use, broken relationships, Pacific Rim AU", "Relationship": "Reaper \| Gabriel Reyes/Reader", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "Pacific Watch", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "Overwatch (Video Game), Pacific Rim (Movies)", "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	The kaiju codenamed Rift emerges while Jack and Gabriel give a press conference. They grin and bear the questions and the jabs they take at each other, looking to the world like two good friends teasing each other.Below the table Gabriel’s hands are curled into fists. An assistant comes up on stage, whispers into Jack’s ear. Gabriel learns from the shift in his expression there’s been a signal. They cut the questions short, Jack smiles and makes a lighthearted joke and while the collective attendants swoon they get out and back to the Anchorage Shatterdome.Helix Paragon waits for them ready to deploy. All she misses are her pilots who gear up in silence, no longer exchanging friendly banter or assurances of success. They stopped that kind of thing years ago.“Helix Paragon ready to deploy.” the AI announces as their suits connect to the cockpit. They drop down onto the Jaeger proper, stumble at the impact.“Initiating neural handshake in Twenty … Nineteen ... “Gabriel’s mind is on the mission, going through the briefing they’ve been given on their way here. It’s a category two, small but fast and it has almost reached land. The residents can’t be evacuated in time. They all rely on Helix Paragon to save the day.“We’re watching over you.” Jack says to the cockpit camera, knowing the footage is being transmitted all across the world. They’re celebrities, Jack especially so. He can barely take a shit without some tabloid writing about it. Something twists in Gabriel. He refuses to call jealousy.“Eyes on the price, golden boy.” he says and steels himself for the drift. It always brings up things he’d rather forget. His and Jack’s bond was forged in blood, the strongest kind there is. Or was, once upon a time. These days it’s like drifting with a stranger.“Neural handshake in five .... four ... “Jack frowns at him but gives the camera a last wave before focusing on the mission.“Three … two … one …”Something is wrong. The drift comes into view, memories rush past him but it’s wrong, he feels like he’s watching them from afar, he’s not in the drift, he can’t feel Jack like he used to. He’s alone.It ends as quickly as it started, throws his mind back into his own body. They’re both reeling.“Neural handshake: failed. Would you like to try again?”“What’s wrong?” Jack says, distressed although he doesn’t show it. Gabriel runs a diagnostic on their system. All readings come back green.“Reinitialising neural drift. Three … two … one.” Again the pull of the drift, then a sensation like crashing on the water’s surface, unable to sink beneath. “Neural handshake: failed.”The guys in communications panic. Jack barks at them to figure out what keeps them from drifting, no longer the composed and friendly boy next door. A meek voice calls over the comm, audible to Jack, Gabriel and every single person who’s watching on TV.“The systems are functioning. You … you’re not drift compatible.” A year and a half later the effects are still felt wherever he goes. Previously people didn’t think it possible to stop being drift compatible. It was supposed to be a lifetime deal, as sure and set in stone as someone’s eye colour or the size of their hands. The footage went around the world, dissected, analysed, discussed. Parodied, more than once. They both need new co-pilots, are grounded until they find a new partner. Gabriel doesn’t know if he wants one. Things with Jack had been bad long before the incident. They’ve grown apart, argued more than worked together. When in the beginning they spent every waking second together, in the end they mostly avoided each other. It’s a bitter aftertaste to a friendship given shape in a seven hundred feet robot. A robot they’re fighting over like children.“People associate Helix Paragon with me. She and I are symbols of hope.”Gabriel bristles, has to stop himself from punching Jack out. He reigns in his temper, if barely.“And what am I a symbol of in your little story?” He spits the words and then spits literally at Jack’s feet, who recoils like he punched him after all. He collects himself quickly, gives as well as he takes.“Failure. Your attitude that prevented us from drifting. You’re stubborn, antagonistic and that cost a dozen people their lives. If Pinnacle Light hadn’t intervened in time ... ““Blame it on me, golden boy, like you do everything else. Everytime things went wrong in that cockpit you found some way to heap it on me. Now it’s my attitude? I’ll give you a fucking attitude-”“Reyes. Morrison.”They snap to attention, muscle memory overriding the wrath boiling hot underneath their skin. Only now Gabriel realises how close he and Jack are. They subconsciously moved towards each other during the argument, posturing and threatening without words. Only the Marshal’s arrival prevents fists from flying.“I realise this feels like a custody battle in the worst sense but please try not to go complete Judge Judy, will you? You’re still rangers and are expected to act with the appropriate conduct.”“Yes, sir.” Jack says, ever the teacher’s pet. Gabriel grunts out the same sentiment less enthusiastically. The Marshal regards them both with a critical eye.“Currently neither of you are ready to pilot Helix Paragon. You need a partner and I’d prefer you get one fast. Whoever is the first to show up with a drift compatible co-pilot gets Helix Paragon. End of story.”“Yes, sir.” they both say, and eye each other. This has just become a competition. And Gabriel is as sore a loser as Jack is a winner. Jack reserves twenty hours of drift time the same day. There is no way he already has a new list of candidates, but the next day he shows up with a dozen of his friends and burns through every single one trying to find someone compatible by pure chance. Everytime Gabriel walks past him he has that smug little smile on his face like he can’t wait to rub his victory in his face. Everytime Gabriel’s resolve hardens. Jack won’t get Helix Paragon if it kills him.He’s more selective in the people he asks to drift with him. Jack may be fine jumping into the cockpit with any idiot but he’d prefer to have someone skilled and capable at his side. He refuses to take anyone lower than in the top ten percent of simulation scores but that gets him a dangerously low yield. Most of the potential rangers already have a partner. Those that don’t … “Look, Gabe, you’re a great guy, no one says you’re not. It’s just ... ” His heart sinks into his stomach as this rookie squirms and shifts and winds around the explanation he’s gotten six times today. People think he’s an asshole. They don’t want to drift with him.“Whatever.” he says, waves the rookie away and turns on his heel. Jack’s cruel smile burns into the back of his neck from the far side of the room.Days pass before he finally finds someone who is willing to try. At least Jack’s tactic isn’t working out for him as he hoped, he’s going through more candidates than anyone else in the program but there’s not a single one who’s compatible.But neither are the ones Gabriel drifts with, what precious few there are. Again and again he’s forced to listen to the AI telling him the neural handshake has failed.“I know.” he grits out, curses the other guy out until he runs, damning him and every idiot who steps into that cockpit with him. Everytime he fails Jack gets one step closer to Helix Paragon.He brushes the Marshal’s assistant off, storms down the long hallways with an expression that makes people jump out of his way.As he takes out his wrath on the punching bags in the gym the nagging thought that kept bothering him since the incident surfaces from the general muck of frustration.Maybe Jack was right. Maybe he’s the problem.It took an open-hearted, sweet golden boy like him to cancel out Gabriel’s attitude and make them drift. He’s always been the one to start arguments under the guise of not taking shit but the truth he can barely admit to himself is that he’s just impulsive. He jumps to conclusions, gets easily offended, retaliates harder than necessary. He hurts people. He definitely hurt Jack with the things he said and did. Jack waves excitedly from his lunch table. They’ve known each other for barely a week and already he acts like they’re best buddies. “I saved you a place, Gabe!” He ignores him, sits down at the other end of the canteen, just because he can. Jack stands there like an idiot, hand slowly sinking. “Gabe?” “You Reyes?”He looks up, sees a Ranger candidate uniform, the look of someone who’s not familiar with their surroundings and tries not to let it show.“What do you want?” he asks, steps away from the punching bag to grab his water bottle. While he drinks you introduce yourself and explain why you’re here.“I’ve been posted here from the Hong Kong Shatterdome. My orders are to report to you to test for drift compatibility.”He gives you a once-over but there’s not much he can tell from appearances alone. All the other people on base he’s seen fight and train, had their simulator scores at least. You are an unknown. Although there’s more to it.“Who gave that order?”“Captain Amari suggested me.”“Figures.” He had a feeling she’d be involved. Over five thousand miles between them and she still looks out for him.“Excuse me?” you ask, confused. He sets down the water bottle, eyes the ring. There’s more than one way to test for drift compatibility. “Forget it.” he says and stretches, suddenly feeling a lot more optimistic about his chances. “Let’s hope this isn’t just a waste of my time.”He steps into the ring and to your credit you follow without a fuss, discarding your uniform jacket and boots before taking up a defensive position.“Best out of three?” you ask. He attacks without an answer. Fifteen minutes later half the base has gathered around the ring. Neither you nor Gabriel notice. You exchange blows, dance around each other like it’s a routine you’ve practiced for years. He takes a jab, you deflect, counter-attack, he dodges. Sweat stands on his brow, he’s breathing hard, but you’re not in much better shape. He didn’t keep track of the score but he has a feeling you’re tied.He moves in for another attack, puts you on the defense until you turn the tables and rain a rapid flurry of blows down on him that almost make him stumble. One of your hits goes too high, your defense weakens, he takes advantage.It’s exhilarating. He hasn’t felt this way since the early days, understanding his opponent on a level that can’t be described, only experienced. You’re drift compatible, he knows it, you know it. Your audience knows it. You keep sparring just because, for the joy of having found someone at your level.It’s that decision that costs him his victory. “What do you mean he’s found someone?”“What part don’t you understand, Reyes?” The Marshal sounds tired of a discussion that technically hasn’t taken place yet. He gestures towards the cockpit of Helix Paragon, currently occupied by Jack and his new co-pilot.“He came in here five minutes ago, we attempted a drift, they’re compatible. They’ll be piloting the Jaeger.”His shoulders sag. The Marshal hesitates, like he wants to offer a kind word but leaves it be. Gabriel has never been receptive to those.If he hadn’t waited, Helix Paragon would have been his. He knew you were compatible a minute after you stepped into the ring. He should have gone to the Marshal right away, instead of fooling around like children in a sand box.You lay a hand on his shoulder and to his surprise the gesture makes him feel better.“Let’s get out of here.” you say and he doesn’t need telling twice. Jack will be insufferable. You end up in a diner a mile off the base, sharing fries, milkshakes and disappointment.“Would have been cool to pilot Helix.” you say, staring wistfully at the TV screen in the corner that shows Helix Paragon’s first drop after eighteen months of inactivity. People are cheering, Jack grins at the camera like he always has, pretending to be sweet and optimistic, but Gabriel sees the mocking glint behind the friendly facade.“She’s not that good.” he says derisively. “She’s only a Mk 1, upgraded and retrofitted to kingdom come. Her chassis looks nice but on the inside she’s a mess. Half the time spent in maintenance the guys just try keeping all her parts together. She should have decommissioned years ago but people associate her with the program. They sink funding for three Jaegers into her just keeping her running.”You hum thoughtfully, trace a pattern into the salt spilled on the table.“So why’d you want to pilot her?”The question takes him off guard. It’s not one he’s ever asked himself. Now that he watches the Jaeger patrol the coastline of Anchorage, he realises he should have. Ever since Jack and he stepped out of that cockpit the last time he wanted to be her pilot again, wanted to get back in there no matter the cost. But what he said is true. Helix Paragon is outdated, barely holding together. She’s not the most effective in combat, she’s not the fastest or the strongest. Every drop he’s been frustrated with her limitations, her slow reaction time, her lack of power. Compared to the Mark 3’s she’s little more than an oversized action figure.“I guess,” he says and shrugs, looks at his milkshake instead of you when he comes to the realisation why he wanted her so bad. “I just didn’t want Jack to win.”It’s a nasty thing to learn about oneself, his entire ambition based on pettiness. It proves Jack’s opinion of him, proves the others reluctance to drift with him. He’s a dick.“You’re a dick.” You grin, hold up your hands in defense when his eyes shoot up. “Just sayin’, dude, you kind of are.”Instead of arguing he huffs, shakes his head.“You and I are drift compatible, what does that say about you?”“That I like dick?” you suggest and he laughs loud enough to make half the diner turn and stare.He hasn’t laughed like that in a long time and it’s enough to distract him from what’s happening on TV. It takes you, shaking his shoulder to make him aware. You and the rest of the diner stare at the live broadcast of Helix Paragon’s patrol. A patrol that just ended. She’s dead in the water. “What the hell happened?” Gabriel demands, running to catch up with the medics pushing Jack and his co-pilot towards the clinic. The latter is out cold. The former -“I have a nosebleed, for god’s sake, I can walk there myself.”“Protocol, Morrison.” the EMT reminds him. Jack rolls his eyes, Gabriel catches himself doing the same. “What happened?” he asks again. Jack answers, sheepish like a boy taken in front of the class to be scolded.“Connection became unstable. I was alone out there for a split second before I could cancel the drift. They’re towing Helix back to the dome right now. Something messed with the drift.”“Maybe it had something to do with the huge bag of heroin we found in your partner’s bags.”Dr Angela Ziegler welcomes her two patients with a frown scary enough to make even Gabriel wince.“Your ‘friend’, god knows where you picked him up, brought hard drugs into the drift. Do you have any idea what could have happened, the consequences your recklessness might have?”She directs her team to take care of Jack’s co-pilot and turns the full focus of her wrath against Jack. Despite himself, Gabriel feels sorry for him.“I just thought … I knew he might not remember drifting, but I didn’t think-”“That’s right, you didn’t think. This stunt could have fried both your brains. You’re damn lucky you got out in time. Prepare for a full physical and pray this didn’t cause any permanent damage.”She stalks out of the room, leaving Jack, Gabriel and you alone. Jack sighs, runs his hands through his hair and tugs at it briefly before letting go. You noticed Gabriel doing the same and wonder who picked up the habit from whom.“Guess you won after all.” he says, trying his hand at a smile and failing horribly. It comes out as a grimace and he drops it quickly.Gabriel doesn’t answer. He stares into nothing, acknowledging neither you nor Jack. Helix Paragon is in his grasp. In a few minutes the Marshal will come in and declare him and you her pilots. He won. Jack fucked up and it’s all on him, there’s no way he can blame Gabriel this time, he won, he has all the power and …… and Jack sits on the gurney just like he did every day in the mess hall when Gabriel stalked past him without a word of acknowledgement. He makes the same puppy eyes he made everytime Gabriel told him he wouldn’t join him and his whitebread friends for movie night for all the money in the world. He wears the face of a beaten man. When the Marshal comes in for a debriefing and dressing down, Gabriel tells him in few words they couldn’t pay him to set foot in that ancient bucket of bolts again. He’ll expect his own Jaeger, a proper Mk 3.“Jack can wrestle with Helix for all I care.”He leaves before they can ruin the moment.“Smug bastard.” you say fondly, trailing behind. Lechuza Renegade deploys for the first time seven months later, an apocalypse on legs, destruction given form, carnage in eight hundred feet of awesomeness.Her pilots love her like their own child.
10467675	blue you be you	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Kim Taehyung \| V, Min Yoongi \| Suga", "Fandom": "방탄소년단 \| Bangtan Boys \| BTS", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by taegikook", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-27T00:00:00", "words": "725", "Additional Tags": "Alternate Universe - Magic, Drabble", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Kim Taehyung \| V/Min Yoongi \| Suga, Kim Taehyung \| V & Min Yoongi \| Suga", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Growing up being different has its own advantages and disadvantages; but for Kim Taehyung, there were only disadvantagesー he stood out the most (which he didn’t like one bit), people kept asking him things that he just wants to ignore and forget about. Being treated differently just because they find him too unique. Some would say he’s blessed, but for him it’s a curse. Taehyung was also born with magical powersー which his parents explained with utmost patience to a child like him, and in addition to this, he was born with the most beautiful shade of blue eyes, which people would admire and envy him for. He started to hate it as he grows older. “The boy with beautiful cerulean eyes” they would say; and Taehyung knows they don’t mean any harm, nor should he take it negatively for it is a compliment, but he doesn’t want to be called as such because he has a name, he is Kim Taehyung, and associating him with just one prominent feature of his diminishes his existence (or so he thinks). Taehyung then decided that the only way to stop these unwanted attention from people he doesn’t know nor care about is to cast a spell on himself. Taehyung knew he made the right decision because things started to feel normal for him. A spell that would hide the true color of his eyesー an illusion that he has the same eye color similar to others. Taehyung never felt happier before Until one raven-haired man decided to walk into his life and change everything. “Your eyes…” the man began, and Taehyung stilled “What?” he asked, seemingly confused and at the same time, a bit annoyed “Why are you hiding the real color of your eyes?” the man finished Taehyung felt exposed “Excuse me? H-how??” “I don’t know either but I’ll use my friend’s words about me having some sort of magical negator or something. Anyway, I saw how your eyes were hazy at first so I started wondering why it looked like that, so I kind of stared for a while and saw how your eyes change color” he explained like it doesn’t bother him at all that he just disclosed the fact that he was openly staring at Taehyung “Oh…” “Anyway, I don’t know what your reasons are but your eyes are okay as it is, learn to embrace yourself. They’re beautiful.” Taehyung certainly feel annoyed now, who does he think he is? Taehyung needs to give him a piece of his mind “You just said the thing I hated the most” Taehyung spoke quietly at first, “and that’s the very reason why I hid it in the first place, because all of you only look at me for itー know me for it” his voice gaining volume “What’s your name?” the man then asked, not bothered by Taehyung’s outburst “Taehyung. Kim Taehyung” he said in a moment of confusion “Taehyung” the man said, testing how his name sounds on his tongue “did you ever bother telling them your name? Did you ever make an effort to let them know who you really are?” And these words hit the nail, because did he? Did Taehyung ever voice out what he felt? He didn’t. “Exactly. Isn’t it unfortunate that you have to hate yourself for something you could’ve avoided?” “Still, people only know me for being the boy with beautiful blue eyes” “Then be Kim Taehyung, you don’t have to live in an illusion for the rest of your life.” “How?” “Only you can change that, but start being who you are. Drop the illusion, start loving what you hate about yourself, only then you’ll find the answer on how to be Kim Taehyung.” It’s not making any sense, but Taehyung finds himself believing the other’s words. “What’s your name?” “Min Yoongi” Yoongi, what a pretty name… “I used to hate my name, I know, it’s stupid” Yoongi said as if he heard what’s inside Taehyung’s mind Oh the irony. “Anyway, you’re just Taehyung to me. Your eyes may be pretty and all, but that’s not what drew me in, I just wanted to know who you really are.” Taehyung smiles at that, Yoongi’s so straightforward, the kind that Taehyung needs. He would say that it’s still the most endearing feature of his up to this day.
10443492	Sweet Revelation	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "F/F", "Characters": "Ophelia Mayer, Jules Thomas", "Fandom": "Sweet/Vicious (TV)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by little_red_esh", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-25T00:00:00", "words": "556", "Additional Tags": null, "Relationship": "Ophelia Mayer & Jules Thomas", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	“Wo-ow, way to be a creep!” Darn it! Ophelia had caught Jules starting at her again. “What? I’m not being a creep! I’m just…there’s something in your hair, here let me get it!” She lied. Ophelia looked at her confused as she pulled an invisible piece of lint from her hair. “Uh…thanks?”“Just looking out!” Jules said as she went back to ‘studying’ her statistics book. How on earth was she supposed to study and learn statistics when she couldn’t help but stare at Ophelia? Over the last few months they had become such good friends, and Jules really needed that. But her friendship with Ophelia felt so different from her friendship with Kennedy. She found herself actually staring at Ophelia and feeling things that she never felt when with Kennedy. She would randomly get the urge to touch Ophelia’s hair or brush her arm. When they would watch films together or prep for a takedown, she wanted to be as near to Ophelia as possible, so that they were always touching. Last week she actually had to apologize because she grabbed Ophelia’s hand as they were walking down the street after getting fro-yo. She was just so conflicted and she was tired of it, she had to know for sure.“Hey, O?” she asked uneasily. It was now or never. She wasn’t going to get the guts to do this any other time, it might as well be now so she could be done pretending to read her statistics textbook.“That’s me.” Ophelia said as she turned towards Jules on the bed. Before she could say anything more, Jules grabbed Ophelia’s face in her hands and gently kissed her lips. Ophelia was taken by surprise and sat there, stunned into silence for once in her life, as Jules pulled away. “Rats! I shouldn’t have done that!” Jules said as she hopped off the bed and started to gather her stuff to leave. Ophelia looked so confused and she still couldn’t believe she had actually just grabbed her and kissed her! Without even asking! She didn’t even know if Ophelia liked girls! She didn’t even know if she liked girls! And now Ophelia was just staring at the wall and she was about to have a nervous breakdown partially from embarrassment but mostly because she had been wrong! She may like Ophelia, but Ophelia clearly didn’t feel the same, she was still just staring at the wall!She had finally gathered her things and was about out the door when Ophelia called after her, “Jules! Wait!”“No, it’s okay! I was wrong, I shouldn’t have done that. I especially shouldn’t have done that without asking! I’m so sorry, O! I just –“Ophelia cut her off, “No, Jules it’s fine. You don’t have to go, I –““No! It’s not fine! I just grabbed you and kissed you and I don’t even know why and…” Jules trailed off, Ophelia had grabbed her hand. “Hey, crazy lady, stop talking for a minute so that I can do this.” Ophelia pulled Jules into her and placed a soft kiss on her lips. “I was going to say, I have been waiting for you to do that.” She grinned and pulled Jules onto the couch with her so that they could do some studying of a more fun variety.
10475535	Great Vengeance and	{ "Archive Warning": null, "Category": "Gen", "Characters": "Truth (Fullmetal Alchemist), Barry the Chopper, Original Female Character(s)", "Fandom": "Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by SonjaJade", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-28T00:00:00", "words": "3,282", "Additional Tags": "Guro, Murder, Torture, Role Reversal, Psychological Torture, Forced Abortion, Cannibalism", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": "Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con", "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	The flesh scraped the blood seal away, Barry’s voice crying out for mercy even as the body refused to obey… And then there was nothingness. He couldn’t speak, he couldn’t hear, he couldn’t see… but he could sense, and he had a gut feeling that the body hadn’t been long behind him in coming back to this place where it had all begun. It was just like when those damned doctors with their smug smiles kept giving their condescending reassurances that ‘everything’s going to be alright’ and to ‘just relax’; it was just like that, consumed by anxious fear as his soul and his body floated separately in a vacuum of pure whiteness. Sort of like being high on opium: just drifting around in nothing. Kinda like being dead, except that Barry had always assumed death was black, and everywhere was a never-ending expanse of white.But that feeling of- emptiness? contentedness? nothingness?- didn’t last long. Barry gave a howl of pain as long severed nerves between soul and body began to rejoin and reform. That ache in his left knee from an injury he’d received as a kid was still there, and throbbing harder than ever. The severed tendon in his finger, an accident from when he first learned to cut pork, was still severed. This hunk of flesh and bone felt like a soggy old sweat suit compared to the gleaming perfect steel body he’d just left. There was more screaming, this time in a voice that didn’t reverberate like a shitty dime store transistor radio, and pouring from a throat so dry it almost made him raw to scream so.“Hurts like a bitch, don’t it?”Barry’s panic seemed to dial itself back a few notches when he heard that familiar voice, and realized he wasn’t alone. For the first time in a long time, he opened dark grey eyes and was surprised that they were damp with frightened tears. He looked down to find pasty white arms, double their size and scars that he didn’t recall having before. Trembling fingers reached up to feel matted, dirty, shaggy hair. The clothes he had on were horrifically filthy, worn thin and tattered. The metal plate he remembered (on what he thought was his corpse) was gone, but thick scar tissue remained in its place.More than anything in the world, he wanted a hot shower and some clean clothes. But, he reasoned, if he was back here in the ‘White Place’, then he probably wouldn’t have to worry for too much longer about something as trivial as a bath. “Shit. I been hurt worse, this ain’t nothin’.” He gazed at the being, a reflection of himself when he’d been younger, cleaner, and a calm kind of crazy. It was eerie to see that thing looking like him, but then again, when his soul had been split, it had looked like him then too. “So what is this? Hell?” he asked in a shaky voice.Truth chuckled. “Hell? I don’t think so. But we’re lookin’ at things from different angles, of course.”Barry felt his teeth clench. Just like those damn white coats: condescending, arrogant. Just like himself if he’d thought about it for more than a nanosecond. “Will I ever get to see blue skies and green grass again? Or the garnet color of blood or the gold of a pretty girl’s hair?”Truth chuckled and gave a little huff. “No.” He watched as the murdering man slumped forward in defeat, sinking to his knees. Barry's mirror image tilted his head to the side and regarded his overdramatic theatrics. “You really didn’t learn anything out there, didja? Are you so retarded that you couldn’t take the lessons that those two brats and their military pals taught you to heart?”Barry looked up in anger, scared tears carving wet tracks through untold layers of dirt. “I was supposed to learn something!? What, that as long as you can draw a transmutation circle or clap your fuckin’ magic hands you don’t have to play by anyone’s fuckin’ rules?! That you can rip a person in two halves and expect ‘em both to be okay with that!?”Truth shifted his weight from one foot to the other, listening with a bored expression. “Barry, you’re a murderer. Don’t pretend you were some kind of saint before you were split.”“But still!-”“Wasn’t you doing the same thing to your victims, Barry? Wasn’t you just one of them knife wielding crazies that mothers warn their kids about? You ripped people in two, you expected them and their families to be okay with that.” Anger began to mar Truth’s borrowed face, distorting his features. “The lesson was that even the most vile and evil can be redeemed, that if they truly repent and suffer the consequences of their actions with sorrow and honor, they might be saved from eternal damnation.” He walked over to where Barry was kneeling. “But since you learned nothin’ when given a second chance at life, it appears that I’ll be forced to get it through your thick skull.”Truth gripped Barry by the throat, jerking him up and binding his hands with invisible rope and hanging him from an invisible hook and chain. With a wave of his hand, Barry found himself in the body of a woman, a beautiful one. He could see large, heaving breasts covered by a magenta colored frock, tendrils of shining red hair falling around his frame of vision… It dawned on him that Truth meant to recreate his most favorite killing: the rape, murder and disemboweling of a young woman who’d come to buy a pork roast for her son’s birthday dinner. When Barry screamed, it was in her voice, and when Truth spoke it was in Barry’s. “Come on, baby…” Truth cooed evilly, “Lay some of that perfect pussy on me.” Calloused hands groped and squeezed as a shrill feminine scream rang out. Suddenly, Barry found himself backhanded, and hard enough that he was dizzy and his lip was busted, albeit the very full and red lipstick covered lip of his victim all those years ago. “Scream again and I’ll cut your fuckin’ throat out,” Truth growled, uttering the very same words Barry had.Gasping inside the costume of the woman’s body, Barry looked around. It was the carving room of the butcher shop he’d worked at years ago, right down to the shivering fluorescent light in the back corner. He looked up, finding a long chain with a sharp hook, the place that held him (her?) suspended from the floor. To the left and right of him, similar hooks dangled, some with large sides of beef hanging from them waiting to be cut up into steaks and ribs, as well as hunks meant to be ground up for hamburger. The smell of animal blood was everywhere in the tight, cold room, but above all that, panic had settled in his (her?) chest and it hurt to breathe. He watched as Truth (himself!?) eyed him with unrivaled want… He could see the erection his body carried as he stalked forward, a very large butcher knife meant to scare the woman into silence in his hand. “Let’s get you out of that tight dress, honey. Those titties look miserable!” Truth cooed in Barry’s voice.The Chopper’s psyche was shattering; he was the one who’d raped and killed that woman, but now Truth was playing Barry’s role, and Barry was playing the woman’s part, and… and…Truth was doing a beautiful job of replaying that horrible event in crystal clear mimicry, as if it had been recorded like a movie. Truth neither played down nor exaggerated what happened, and Barry knew it. Sadly, he knew how it was going to end, and if it was this awful already, and nothing had even happened yet…He watched helplessly as Truth split the dress from the body he now wore, felt as breasts were released from the stiff confines of a plain, white, lace bra and bounced down. He felt a hot teasing tongue come out to play with the deep tan disks of most certainly not aroused nipples and felt scarred, calloused hands kneading and squeezing. “Goddamn, I bet your husband snuggles into sleep right in between these beauties, don’t he?” Truth husked as he fished his cock out from under the butcher’s apron. He rubbed it up and down the inside of the woman’s thighs and Barry squeezed his eyes shut. “You’re bein’ real good by not screamin’… Maybe I’ll throw you a nice fuck after all.”Given that Barry was dangling from the ceiling, his borrowed feet not even touching the ground, Truth fetched a crate from the other side of the room, stepping up and down and moving it into just the right position. He stood up and tucked one end of the apron into the waist of his faded pants, baring his angry red cock. He reached out and grabbed Barry’s borrowed woman legs and gripped him hard enough to bruise. “Now open wide baby, Barry’s got a nice side of beef waitin’ for ya!”‘But… I’m a dude, where’s he gonna put it!??’ Barry shouted in his head, still not quite used to the fact that it was like fucking himself. Truth teased the tip of his member in the hot dry split between Barry’s legs (Barry didn’t think the costume body would be so anatomically correct, and it was a feeling altogether new and horrifying to him), and without tenderness or restraint, Truth began to hammer mercilessly inside of him, their skin smacking against each other in a loud staccato rhythm, and Barry felt like his insides were being manually ripped inside out with the lack of wetness to ease the intruder’s path.“Awww, yeah!” Truth hissed as he continued his relentless assault on the redheaded female figure, watching as tears streamed from her screwed shut eyes and down her grimacing face. He was sure Barry was feeling the pain she had, and was even more sure of that fact when the woman/Barry made a whispered plea for him to stop, something that had not happened in the original event when Barry had murdered her. “You mean you don’t like this?!?” Truth balked. “Don’t worry, honey, Barry’s almost done.” With a few more frenzied, painful strokes, Truth roared as he flooded the woman with hot, sticky cum, then slid slowly out of her. Thick blobs of white trailed down Barry’s thighs, dripped down onto the tops of his borrowed feet, ran all the way down to drip off of ruby red toenails onto the floor below. ‘This is what I was!?’ he asked himself through the haze of his victim’s experience. ‘I was proud to be this monster!?’ For the first time in his life, he was ashamed of himself.Truth caught his breath and then turned back to the female form dangling in the back of a recreation of the butcher shop. Barry had never been so frightened in all his worthless life. Truth’s Barry mask made a kind of disappointed expression, and Barry knew this was the part where the real horror would begin. “I bet woulda come harder if you were still screamin’. You got a lovely voice, y’know!” With a cat-like turn, he picked up a filet knife, sprung back to his victim and with a flick of his wrist, he sliced a nipple away effortlessly and held it in his mouth like a pacifier while he trimmed the other one away. Barry shrieked in pain with the woman’s voice. Truth made an X shaped cut to the tips of both bloodied nipples and slid the pencil from behind his ear into one of them. “Look! They’ll make great candle holders for your son’s birthday cake!” He stood the grotesque object on a nearby butcher block and cackled wildly.Barry had never experienced such intense agony in all his days. Not only was the physical pain enough to beg for death, the fact that it was him who was doing this (who had already done it!), was almost more than his brain could handle. It wasn’t just the recreation of that sunny day in June, it was a mind fuck on a level that no one other than God could give. And still, the worst was yet to come.But now a new frightening facet emerged. Barry was now aware of his victim’s thoughts. He could see memories she was recalling of her family, imagining their future (images of her children growing up without a mother, thoughts of her husband, wondering how much pain she would have to endure before he finally killed her, and praying that someone would come save her), he could feel her absolute terror and sadness at realizing she was going to die… It more than made him sick to his stomach; it made him sick to his soul.Truth donned a twisted and crazy smile as he kept fiddling with the nipple/pencil thing, trying to get it to stand up straight before moving on. He gave her a chilling glance and said, “Y’know, baby, I bet you’re one of those bitches who has a mirror on the ceiling over your bed. I bet you like to watch yourself fuck your husband in it, don’tcha? I bet you like to watch the top of his head as he licks at your cunt, or throw your head back when you're riding him and watch your own tits bouncin’ as you hump him with all ya got!” He picked up his knife again and dropped to his knees. “Let me show you what it looks when Barry the Chopper fucks ya!”Barry shook his head, eyes squeezed shut and begging in that poor woman’s voice for mercy. In Barry’s crowded mind, he remembered this, how she begged for her life, how she swore she wouldn’t tell anyone anything if he’d only let her go. She even offered to give him a hundred-thousand Cenz if he’d just ‘please, let me GO!!’Truth mimicked Barry to the T when he chewed his lip in thought for a moment. Then he looked up at her and quipped, “I think I’d get more enjoyment out of fuckin’ you again. But thanks for the offer! It’s awful generous of you, sweet tits!” He bound her ankles with wadded up shrink wrap from the giant roll off to the side, tied it thick and tight and hooked each rope onto separate hooks, pulling her spread eagle. Then, Truth brought the blade to the apex of those long legs and delicately began to trim the outer lips of her scarlet haired sex away, carefully avoiding the arteries in the groin. When he cut the urethra away, urine gushed from inside her, but Truth didn’t seem to mind. He continued severing her cervix and uterus from her and pulled the entire bloody sheath out of her body, all while Barry wailed in agonizing torment. Truth hefted the hunk of flesh to the head of his cock and then pushed himself inside. The bloodied, oozing sheath was suddenly filled and no longer floppy, and he hollered out, “See how well I fill ya up!? Bet yer husband’s cock ain’t as big as mine!” Truth pumped the fleshy hunk of innards over and over, his hands bloody and squeezing. Suddenly he seized up and filled the thick muscle of the woman’s uterus with thick, sticky cum, and what he did next was even more traumatic than raping her disemboweled femininity. He took the filet knife, laid it with the blade up against his wilting cock, then split the cervix and all off of his body. Truth then went the next step and divided the uterus and flayed it open for Barry to see…“Oh-ho-ho! What do we have here!?” Truth plucked a peach pit sized globule out of the flesh and deftly opened it. He pulled a blood smeared, pale thing from it and cruelly laughed, “Looks like a tiny, little baby redhead!” He looked it over from all sides, turning it this way and that in the shitty light of the room, then gave it a sniff. “It’s got that brand new baby smell!” Barry screamed as loud and as forceful as he could with rage he felt with his own heart. Yes, the recorded memory of the woman was playing throughout the ordeal, but when Barry saw through his own eyes the things he had done (and was doing again), he had to at least try to make Truth stop. “Please!! I know the thing is dead already, but you don’t gotta eat him!” Barry struggled as hard as he was able, being bound and dangling the way he was in this recreation of what was up until now his fondest memory. Of course, given the amount of his blood loss, that strength was all but gone, and when Truth devoured the embryo with a wet smack of his lips, Barry sobbed his own tears.‘What the hell was wrong with me!?!!’ he roared in his head. ‘I ATE a baby!!’ He remembered the smugness with which he ate the child when this all happened the first time, how bitter the little booger was, but how invigorating it felt to have eaten a whole person in a single mouthful. Now all he felt was the soul crushing sorrow and guilt he should have felt from the beginning. He was so distraught that despite his fading life in this poor woman’s body that he was begging in quiet whispers for Truth to stop, that he was so, so sorry, that he’d learned his lesson… “Please… No more… I beg you, no more…”Truth’s face shimmered a bit, then morphed into that of the woman Barry’s mind was occupying. Barry recognized the expression; this was the face she made right before he slit her throat and finally ended her torture. “Do you know now why that woman wore this look so well? That look where she wished for death without words?” Barry sobbed, feeling weaker and weaker by the moment as his life’s blood dripped from the mortal wound he himself had carved with his own hands. He nodded, unable to speak. “What have you learned, Barry?”“I’ve seen myself for what I really am,” he sobbed weakly. “I’m a monster, and I don’t deserve anything but the hottest fires of hell for the things I’ve done to others. So many innocent others…” He hung his head, humbled by the judgment of God.“Do you see now why I asked if you learned anything from the Elric boys? They also sinned, but they’re tryin’ their best to atone for what they did. They don’t keep committin’ the same crimes over and over, they’re workin’ together with each other and with others to find the path of righteousness again, and I have a feelin’ they ain’t gonna stop any time soon. I’ll never understand why you couldn’t learn such an easy lesson the first time.”He stepped forward, the filet knife still in hand, and he slit Barry’s throat in one swift clean swipe, and the illusion dissipated. Barry fell forward, now looking as he did when he arrived, and collapsed in a heap in front of Truth, who now bore no resemblance to the young blond butcher. He went back to where he’d been sitting and resumed his eternal waiting, watching as the gate in front of him opened and hundreds of black, wriggling arms with little tiny hands and fingers grabbed Barry’s body and absorbed him into the pitch blackness of hell.
10443822	No Other Way But You	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Aomine Daiki, Midorima Shintarou", "Fandom": "Kuroko no Basuke \| Kuroko's Basketball", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Not Rated", "author": "by doublejoint", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-26T00:00:00", "words": "1,081", "Additional Tags": "KNBxNBA, Established Relationship", "Relationship": "Aomine Daiki/Midorima Shintarou", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	It rains the weekend the Cavs come to town. Midorima’s not too fond of rain normally, but this time of year it means it’s not cold enough to snow (and there’s the added bonus of the raindrops pockmarking the dirty drifts until they shrink back and melt into the already-oversaturated ground). It makes him impatient, though; it’s not freezing but it’s still cold enough to be unpleasant outside and Aomine’s still not here after texting that he was on his way nearly an hour ago. It’s not because he’s waiting for Aomine to come; it’s just—everything, really. It’s the shitty weather, better but still not tolerable, moving too slowly toward spring; it’s what remains of the schedule before the playoffs when the Celtics’ spot is firmly secured and they’re all in tune with each other (every game is a potential injury, a potential upset to their balance as a team—they’re strong, yes, but not invincible; and part of Midorima just wants to wait and put off the last few games until after the playoffs even though he knows the seasons are eighty-two for a reason); it’s the mounting exhaustion from having played so many of those regular season games already. And, okay, it’s maybe a little bit (or a lot) that on top of all that when Aomine’s finally in town he still hasn’t shown up and Midorima’s had a long enough time to expect him and prepare for him and what little they have together seems like the last time out left in the second half, never long enough to get in what they want.The buzzer sounds. It had better not be the UPS guy or someone trying the wrong apartment. Midorima walks over and presses the microphone button.“Yes?”“Hey, let me up.”It’s definitely Aomine. Midorima presses the button.He’s up in about a minute, his hair drenched and plastered against his head and he tries to give Midorima a hug with his raincoat still on.“Take that thing off first,” says Midorima."Damn, I'm not even in the door and you're asking me to strip for you?" Aomine says.Midorima gives him his most contemptuous look. Aomine puts his coat on the coat rack and hands Midorima a paper bag.“I got this for you.”Inside is a fancy-looking chocolate stout from some brand Midorima’s never heard of, the price tag badly scraped off. It’s absolutely not in Midorima’s diet plan, but he finds himself smiling at it anyway (he and Aomine can split the extra calories).“That’s not everything,” says Aomine, finally rid of his coat and shoes.Midorima upends the bag into his hand; a shot glass and a receipt fall out. The shot glass is one of those cheesy red ones with the Harvard shield printed on one side; the other simply reads “in vino”. It’s an awful pun, if it can even be called that.“You don’t drink wine from a shot glass,” says Midorima.“Yeah, well,” says Aomine. “It’s your lucky item, isn’t it?”“Yes,” says Midorima (he doesn’t need to tell Aomine he already has one out on the coffee table and he’d slipped another in his gym bag; he places this one on the foyer table for later). “Thank you.”Aomine trails him into the kitchen and watches him put the beer in the fridge. He’s leaning back against the counter when Midorima turns around, probably smudging the granite, just waiting for Midorima to cross the space between them, but Midorima supposes as this is his house he ought to be the one making the moves. When Aomine’s leaning back like this, the height difference is more apparent, and Midorima leverages it to his full advantage, leaning into Aomine’s space and touching their foreheads together before kissing him. He brushes his tongue over Aomine’s teeth; Aomine sighs into the kiss and skims one hand up Midorima’s torso; Midorima shivers at the touch through his shirt. Aomine’s fingers are still cold, but Aomine opens his hand and presses it against Midorima’s chest, and he pushes lightly when he wants to break the kiss.“You missed me, huh, Babe?”“Yes,” says Midorima.Aomine’s apparently not expecting him to give in that easily; his face freezes like his next words are caught on his tongue; it’s a little bit cute, actually, and Midorima files that away in his mind for later (if he can figure out how to get it again).“But you missed me, too?” says Midorima.“Yeah,” says Aomine (the tops of his ears have a bit of a reddish undertone to them). “Obviously.”He cops a feel of Midorima’s ass on the way out of the kitchen (Midorima lets him this time; he’s feeling a little generous right now). Aomine makes a pleased little sound when he finds no resistance, and ends up dropping his arm around Midorima’s shoulders.“This season, though,” he says. “It’s fucking brutal.”“It is,” Midorima allows. “It’s almost over.”“I know,” says Aomine. “And then we’ll have the conference finals and we’ll beat you guys and win the title.”Midorima snorts. “You’re getting a bit ahead of yourself.”“What?” says Aomine. “We’ll beat those guys. You’ll beat your half. We’ll be the 1-2 seeds.”“You won’t win if you don’t focus on your present opponent,” says Midorima.“And that’s you right now,” says Aomine.“You know what I mean,” says Midorima.“Yeah,” says Aomine. “We will. And so we’ll win. And we’ll face off against you, right?”Midorima smiles. “Right. And then the Celtics will—”“Lose to the Cavs, right,” says Aomine.Midorima shoves at him; Aomine doesn’t let go.“We’ll see who wins tonight,” says Midorima.Aomine grins. “You can have the scoring title, but we’ll win tonight.”“I never said anything about the scoring title,” says Midorima. “But I can win both.”(He doesn’t even really want another scoring title; he knows how much he can score already—it’s just a reiteration of a fact; a championship is much better, much more rewarding.)“Yeah, I know you can,” says Aomine. “But I’m not just going to let you.”They stop in front of the window; the rain outside has slowed a little; there’s still fog rolling over the taller buildings in the distance, a mix of grey and white and transparent. Aomine’s arm falls to Midorima’s waist.“I’ll earn it,” says Midorima (and if he has to go through Aomine, he will—but he wouldn’t have it any other way).
10479669	Sayonara Hitori	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Eren Yeager, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Grisha Yeager, Carla Yeager, Kenny Ackerman, Armin Arlert, Mike Zacharias, Erwin Smith, Jean Kirstein, Mikasa Ackerman, Petra Ral, Ymir (Shingeki no Kyojin), Bertolt Hoover, Reiner Braun, Annie Leonhart, Furlan Church, Isabel Magnolia, Connie Springer, Sasha Blouse", "Fandom": "Shingeki no Kyojin \| Attack on Titan", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Explicit", "author": "by The_Pirate_King", "chapters": "20/20", "completed": "2017-04-15", "published": "2017-03-28T00:00:00", "words": "42,777", "Additional Tags": "Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Levi is a mutant, Sort Of, Slavery, but it's not graphic, Levi is a Little Shit, Armin is a Little Shit, everyone is a little shit, Slow Burn, Levi's breed is not what you think it is, believe me, like no one will guess it i promise, Eren is an awkward turtle, Levi/Eren Yeager-centric, Eren sucks at martial arts, jean the matchmaker, so many secrets, levi is cryptic af, Implied Mpreg, Post Mpreg, Past Relationship(s), generous amounts of swearing, Sorry Not Sorry, Master/Slave, Masturbation, Levi Is Bad At Feelings, Levi has magical powers now, Eventual Smut, i literally suck at writing smut, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Past Levi/Petra, Paternal Levi, Minor Violence, Its not very descriptive though, Character Death, Complete", "Relationship": "Levi/Eren Yeager", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "Solitary Goodbye", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Chapter 1 Eren leaned his head against the window of the car. He didn’t want to be here right now, locked in a car with his father for a two-hour car ride to go do something he really did not want to do. “Eren,” His father broke the silence after nearly an hour and a half. “We need to have a discussion about what to look for in a potential slave.” “No, we really don’t.” Eren growled. He hated that word. Slave was such a terrible word to Eren. It was like a ball and chain, tying you down against your will and he wanted to have no part in doing that to someone else. “Listen Eren,” His father sighed in frustration as if they had had this conversation dozens of times-which they had. “You know that this is tradition. It’s been around for a century. I will not allow you to break a tradition to appease your bleeding heart.” Eren let out a deep sigh hoping to convey his surrender but also his absolute distaste at this so-called tradition. But that’s what it was really and this tradition did truly span over the better part of a century. It all started when his great grandfather became one of the first people to arrive on the newly discovered planet of Titan. With the Earth slowly collapsing due to the extended environmental abuse it had endured and lack of commitment to creating a better Earth, scientists were desperate to find another hospitable planet. Planets such as Mars turned out not to be as hospitable as they first seemed. But, with the discovery of what was then called Kepler 62, things changed. Scientists discovered a way to get a few brave volunteers to travel to Kepler 62. Eren’s great grandfather and his wife were one of 200 families that traveled to said planet. Fast forward approximately 2,000 light years and they finally arrived. Eren’s great grandfather was a military leader back on Earth and the deemed “captain” of the expedition. Upon arrival they noticed that Kepler 62 was more similar to Earth that they realized. The atmosphere was similar, the days were slightly longer, and the planet had more water and shrubbery than anticipated. They found an open area and began to build homes for themselves. As time went on, they began to feel as if someone or something was watching them. They weren’t wrong. Turns out that Kepler 62 was inhabited by other life forms and said life forms were very interested in these intruders from the sky. It was a little boy that discovered the first life form. For the better part of a year the child would talk about his dog like friend that he had made in the woods, but the adults played it off as an imaginary friend that he created to keep himself company since he was one of only a few children at the time. Eventually at the end of their first year on the foreign planet, the child convinced his friend to visit his family. To say the presence of this newcomer was shocking to the intergalactic pioneers would be downplaying it. They full on panicked. The child though was able to calm everyone down while translating for his friend-turns out that playing with someone who speaks a different language for a year helps you learn their language. This was how the settlement was introduced to the Kyojin. The Kyojin as it turned out, were a race of natives who inhabited the planet. They were a cross between what appeared to be humans and animals. The boy’s friend in particular was dog-like in his appearance. The Kyojin explained that they lived in tribes with others who resembled themselves and were spread out all over the planet. He also named said planet, Titan. The Kyojin’s tribe was very fond of this little boy and that fondness was their ultimate demise. Eren’s great grandfather was not a good man by nature but was an excellent military officer. He saw an opportunity to use these Kyojin for his own personal gain. He waited years for the settlement to become more established. He learned all he could from the Kyojin and befriended all the neighboring tribes. Once he felt the settlement was established he implemented a government. The settlement took to his new monarchy without much fuss. He had been ruling as a king from the get-go so it wasn’t all that unusual for them. What was unusual however was when he ordered his newly established army to enslave the Kyojin. Sure, there was uproar from some who were strongly against the enslavement and slaughter of the Kyojin but one by one those who vocally opposed disappeared into the night. Thoroughly frightened, the protests dwindled and no one spoke out against their king. It wasn’t long until the total enslavement of the Kyojin race. Sure the Kyojin put up fights but it was nearly impossible to fight weapons that they had never seen before. Automatic guns did a great deal of damage against bows and arrows. Kyojin eventually began to go into hiding to avoid enslavement but by then there were so many slaves working in the ever-growing human settlement that it was more common to find a slave than to see a “wild” Kyojin. By the time Eren’s great grandfather had passed, several more settlements were established and slavery was now an accepted and expected thing, especially from the royal family, which Eren was a part of. Well he wasn’t just a part of it-he was the prince. Crown Prince Eren Jaeger at your service. Slaves did a number of things. From what Eren was told, once the Kyojin is captured it is then transported to the city of Shinganshina, a city not far from the capital and a place Eren frequents in the summer. There the Kyojin are taught-forced-to learn human language and other skills that they could potentially use when “adopted” by their owners. But Eren had a sneaking suspicion that they basically beat the Kyojin into submission and then teach them the language and how to cook, clean, sew and so on. He also knew they were taught how to “pleasure” their owners in probably the most cruel ways possible. Kyojin rarely left their place of “employment” and if they did, their owners escorted them to wherever they were going. All in all, Kyojin were sex slaves that did other work and lived out their lives in the confines of a house. And now Eren was expected to pick out a Kyojin for himself. The Kyojin would basically follow him and be at his every beck and call. It was also assumed he would eventually have sex with his Kyojin as well. That was not something Eren was at all interested in. “We’re here.” Eren’s father announced as the car came to a halt in front of a large stone house. On the outside the house looked like one he’d seen in old photographs from Earth. It was stone, had some vines that scaled the walls with a chimney. The house was longer than it was wide and to call it any thing other than a mansion would be inaccurate. This place was huge. It also had a spooky quality to it and Eren suspected that was due to what occurred inside its walls. They were immediately greeted at the door by a tall man in a military suit who opened the front doors for them, revealing a large foyer with a grand staircase in the center of the room. Standing inside were two other military officials dressed similarly to the one who opened the door. One of these officials Eren recognized as being Kenny. Eren didn’t know Kenny’s last name and had only spoken to him a handful of times but he didn’t like Kenny. Kenny was sleazy in every way possible which was fitting seeing as he oversaw the famous “Kyojin Rehabilitation Program.” “Your Highnesses,” Kenny greeted the two with a deep bow. “I am so glad to see you.” “Hello Kenny,” Eren’s father greeted them while Eren just gave a silent nod of recognition. “It has been a while.” “Yes, it’s been at least six months since we last met. How is Carla? I see she has not accompanied you and the Prince today.” “No, she had other matters to tend to.” Eren’s father dismissed. Eren shot his father a quick glare. His mother had no such thing. Eren’s father had banned her from coming because he knew she hated enslaving Kyojin just as much as Eren. “Pity.” Was all Kenny had to say, not missing the looks Eren was directing silently at his father. “Shall we go to the viewing room? I have several Kyojin already picked out for you to see Eren.” “I suppose.” Eren sighed. They were lead down a long hallway behind the staircase that was decorated in “rehabilitation stories” from past Kyojin. At the end of the hall was a set of large wooden doors which Kenny’s silent assistant opened for them. Inside the room was a small raised platform, presumably for the Kyojin and three chairs for the men to sit in. A small door next was behind the stage and had a guard next to it. “Now, Eren,” Kenny spoke as the men took their seats with Eren in the center. “My men will bring in one Kyojin at a time for you to look at. You can ask me or the Kyojin questions if you like. When you settle on one just let me know.” “Okay.” Eren said curtly. He had originally planned on vetoing all of the Kyojin but his mother suggested he settle on one that wasn’t timid and seemed to have a little more life. This way, he could bring the Kyojin home with him and maybe befriend them instead of make them his slave. The viewing began with a very timid Hare Kyojin. While sweet as she seemed, Eren needed someone less timid who wouldn’t cower in fear whenever Eren tried to have a conversation with them. He felt bad for her but vetoed her anyway. This went on for an hour. Kyojin after Kyojin were brought before him but none of them caught his interest. He wanted a friend, not someone who would cower in the corner from him. “Eren,” Kenny sighed, clearly put out by Eren’s indecisiveness. “I only have one more Kyojin available at the moment and I’m not sure how good of a fit he’ll be. He’s been through our process but is still very wild and resistant. We are debating marking him as defective.” Eren knew what defective meant. It meant that the Kyojin was still too hostile and resistant after his or her “rehabilitation” to be able to be safely placed with someone. Kyojin with a defective status were often killed. “Let me be the one to decide that,” Eren said sharply. With an incredulous look, Kenny waved for the guard to retrieve the final Kyojin. It took several long minutes for the guards to return but when they did Eren was shocked. Instead of leading a Kyojin on a leash like a dog, this Kyojin was carried in a cage and the Kyojin was not happy about his treatment either. He paced and hissed at the guards; even swatting at one when he thought they had come too close. The cage was set on the platform and the guards backed away as if it would explode. The Kyojin in the cage hissed at a guard who wasn’t moving away fast enough before turning his attention to the men sitting in front of him. The Kyojin was cat-like in his appearance. He was noticeably shorter than most Kyojin (and humans) Eren had met. The Kyojin had black hair and ears that were a stark contrast to his pale skin. He had long pointed ears with black hair that extended off the tips on his head that were pulled back almost flat against his head. His eyes looked to be bored and his expression conveyed complete disinterest. Eren wondered to himself if the Kyojin always looked like that. “What’s his name?” Eren asked with vague interest. “Uh, Levi, Your Highness.” Kenny answered a little caught off guard by Eren’s question. “And is Levi always like this?” Eren inquired without breaking eye contact with the Kyojin in front of him. “Yes, he is always like this. He is combative on a good day and downright dangerous on a bad day.” Kenny told him. “It took several squads to take him down as opposed to just one. He is not a good slave for a prince like yourself.” “Actually,” Eren said standing up and walking towards Levi. Eren stopped moving immediately but nodded to himself. “He is perfect.” Levi watched him with bored eyes but Eren had a feeling the Kyojin was very interested in him. Once Eren was within five feet of the cage, Levi hissed loudly. “Now Eren-“ His father started. “If you want to force me to have a Kyojin, Father,” Eren said sternly. “Then it will have to be this one. I will not settle on another.” “Very well.” His father sighed. “I guess we’ll be taking Levi off your hands, Kenny.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Chapter 2 “So, did you choose a Kyojin?” Armin hounded Eren as soon as they were alone three hours after Eren had chosen Levi. As soon as Eren and his father had arrived back at the Jaeger castle in Sina, Eren hightailed it to Armin’s quarters slash office. Armin was Eren’s best friend and resident Kyojin. Armin was one of two Kyojin that aided their head Knight, Erwin. Ever since being brought to the castle when Eren was eight, he and Armin were best friends. Luckily, Erwin had two Kyojin and supported Armin and Eren’s friendship. “Yes, actually.” Eren told Armin. “Really? What are they like?” Armin asked cocking his head to the side, something he did when something interested him. “His name is Levi. He’s a Feline but I don’t know what tribe he’s from. He’s short and not afraid to beat you to a bloody pulp if he doesn't like you. He didn’t speak so I can’t tell you much on that front but he looks like he’s always bored.” Eren told him. “So let me get this straight,” Armin perked his yellow floppy dog ears up in interest. “You chose a Kyojin that looks like he’s always bored and isn’t afraid to kick your ass?” “Uh if you really want to put it that way, yes.” Eren scratched the back of his head with a crooked smile. “That’s great!” Armin let out a bark of laughter. “Maybe he’ll kick your ass when you get out of line.” “Hey!” Eren protested. “I’m not that bad!” “You told everyone that your birthday party last year was cancelled so you didn’t have to get dressed up and could eat all the cake, Eren.” “So?! Sasha makes good cake!” “Anyway,” Armin moved on. “Are you ready to live with someone else now that you have a Kyojin of your own?” “Huh?” “Eren, you do know that you and Levi will be living together in your quarters, right?” “No one told me that!” Eren cried as he shot straight out of his seat. “Why did no one tell me this?!” “Probably because you’d freak out and you are very adamant about not having a Kyojin in the first place. If we told you that you’d have to live with your Kyojin too you would’ve been impossible to get into that car.” Armin explained as if it was so very obvious. “Well, yeah. I’ve never shared my room with anyone. Where is he going to sleep?!” Eren ran his hands through his already messy hair. “We set up another bed across from yours and added another dresser for him to put his uniform and clothes in while you were gone.” “Holy shit! I have to live with him! We already took away his freedom and forced slavery on him and now he can’t even have his own room?!” “There are a lot worse living situations he could be in, Eren.” Armin pointed out to the frantic prince. “Your quarters are large enough for two sets of furniture with room for you both to live comfortably and you have an attached bathroom. He could be stuck in a closet.” “I would never put him in a closet, Armin!” “That’s what you got out of what I just told you?” Armin arched a blond eyebrow at Eren. “Look, as long as you don’t breathe down his neck and give him a little bit of alone time things will be fine. Just don’t be creepy.” “I can do that.” “I sure hope so.” Armin said playfully. “What am I supposed to say to him tonight when I see him?” Eren turned wide green eyes on his friend. “Well, introducing yourself would be a good start.” “Sure, ‘Hi! I’m Prince Eren also known as the direct descendent of the guy who enslaved your people. Nice to meet you! Hope you don’t mind living with me.’ Is a great conversation starter!” Eren said sarcastically. “Well, don’t say it like that.” Armin rolled his eyes at his friend’s antics. “Maybe just start with ‘Hi, I’m Prince Eren. I’m 18 years old and my father forced me to take a Kyojin slave. I don’t personally support slavery and hopefully we can become friends instead’ would be good.” Armin offered. “I like that better.” “I think anyone would. Yours was a little morbid.” “The situation is arguably morbid, Armin.” “Only if you make it that way. If you try to make the best of the situation you may end up with a life long friend. It would be like you and me, Eren.” Armin said hoping to encourage his friend. If Eren approached the situation with a bad attitude he’d likely end up doing something that would ruin his chances of being friends with Levi. “Yeah, that’s true. But what do I say after that?” Eren asked his friend. “Ask him about himself.” Armin suggested. “Ask him what foods he likes, how old he is, what type of Kyojin he is, any hobbies he has, but do not ask him about his capture or his life before being taken. That would just bring up bad memories, which would probably cause him to shut down to you entirely. If that happens, I’m not sure how to repair it.” “Right,” Eren nodded. “Your Highness?” A voice called behind the boys. Both turned around towards the door to the room they were occupying. “Yes, Mina?” Eren asked pleasantly. “Your Kyojin is here. Your father had us take him to your room but asked me to tell you to go help him get settled.” Mina chirped at him in her sweet voice, her large rabbit ears flopping around on top of her head. “Thanks, Mina. I’ll be up in a few minutes.” Eren told her before turning back to Armin. “Well, wish me luck.” Armin stood up and patted his friend’s shoulders in encouragement. “Don’t be creepy.” He reminded him, “Got it!” Eren smiled at his friend and sent him two thumbs up before leaving in the direction of his room. It took Eren thirty minutes to reach his room. He decided to take the longest route possible to give himself time to think of what to say and to let Levi be alone. He assumed that Levi had not had time to himself in quite some time now and would probably appreciate the chance to be alone. Eren hesitated in front of his door, hand outstretched but hovering above the handle. After a moment of thought, Eren knocked before he entered. At first he didn’t see the Kyojin but after a quick survey he realized the Kyojin was standing by the windows. He hesitate to speak for a moment, shocked that this Kyojin who nearly swatted at him last time they met was now quietly observing the pasture below his window. Finally Eren regained his senses and shut the door before entering his room. “Um,” Eren cleared his throat to get the Kyojin’s attention. Levi slowed turned around to face him and fixed Eren with a bored but intense stare. “Hi.” Eren continued dumbly. “Uh, I’m Prince Eren, but you can call me Eren if you want. I know that you probably have been told things by Kenny but I’m not like him.” “When do you want to get on with it, Your Highness?” Levi spoke when Eren finished. Levi’s voice was deep and smooth but held no emotion, similar to his facial expressions. “Get on with what?” Eren asked in confusion. “The sex, Sir.” Levi stated bluntly. “That’s what I’m here for after all.” “W-w-what?! NO!” Eren’s voice squeaked a little in surprise as he practically flailed his hands in front of him. “I don’t want to have sex with you!” Levi cocked his head to the side and raised a brow. “I mean, you aren’t ugly or anything but I just am not interested in forcing that on anyone.” “So later then.” Levi said and nodded as if he was expecting that. “No!” Eren shook his head frantically. “What I’m trying to say is that I didn’t bring you here to fulfill some sick sexual fantasy. I didn’t want a slave at all but I was forced to by my father, the King.” “Hmm.” Levi hummed although Eren had the feeling like Levi didn’t believe him. “It’s true! You can ask anyone here. I fought with my dad for years over it. I think it’s wrong to enslave Kyojin. I want you all to be free. But, he’s the king so I had no choice but to get a slave. But I don’t want you for sex or anything. I was thinking we could be more like….friends?” The last part came out as more of a question than a statement. Levi up close had some sort of aura about him that made Eren feel almost small. “So, what do you say?” Eren asked meekly. “Do you think that's doable?” “Being friends?” Levi asked. “Yeah. I mean they would still expect you to do chores and stuff but I could probably get you outta that by saying I need your help with something. And I obviously don’t want to force sex on you so we could just be like roommates I guess.” Eren rambled. “If you insist.” Levi said and let out a tiny yawn. “Oh, you must be tired! I’m so sorry, I forgot how late it actually is with all the traveling.” Eren apologized awkwardly. “I’ll let you get ready for bed. I’ll just be in the bathroom taking a shower but I’ll be quiet!” Before Levi could say anything else, Eren raced into the bathroom and locked the door. He turned on the water and quickly rid himself of his clothes. “Well, that could’ve gone a lot better.” Eren said to himself once he stepped into the shower. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Chapter 3 A loud banging stirred Eren from his sleep. He rolled over with a groan and yanked the covers above his head hoping that whoever was at his door would just leave him alone. Don’t they know what time it is? Well, he didn't know what time it was exactly either but he was sure it was too-early-o’clock. Unfortunately for Eren, the knocking didn’t cease despite his best efforts at ignoring them. He heard some shuffling behind him but his brain couldn’t fully process what the shuffling was. His brain did not work at the ass crack of dawn. “Eren, wake up.” His father said as he pulled the covers off the bed. “How did you get in here?” Eren groaned and sat up blinking sleepily at his father. “Levi let me in.” His father waved at Levi, who was already dressed. “We need to talk about tonight.” “What about tonight?” Eren asked his father, confused. He didn’t remember having specific plans with his father tonight. “We are having a formal dinner tonight with some of the other noble families.” His father informed him. “We are?” Eren’s eyebrows scrunched together. “Yes, and I expect you to be there tonight. I also expect Levi to accompany you.” His father crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Is this a dinner or you wanting to put Levi on display for everyone?” Eren asked bluntly. He was not in the mood to play games with his father. He was never in the mood to be completely honest. “Both I suppose.” His father shrugged. “Regardless of what you want to call it, I expect you to be ready and at the dining room at five thirty on the dot. Understand?” “Do I have a choice?” Eren asked his father, already knowing the answer. “No.” His father said curtly before turning on his heel and leaving the room. “Always needing to have the last word.” Eren snarled and threw his hands up in frustration. It was then he noticed Levi hovering against the wall eyeing him. “Sorry about that. He’s so demanding.” “He is the King, Sir.” Levi said with no emotion. “I told you that you could just call me Eren, Levi.” Eren sighed. “I’m not interested in being your ‘master’. I’d much rather we be friends.” “Can I speak freely?” Levi asked him warily. “Of course.” Eren told him enthusiastically. Maybe they were getting somewhere. “You don't have to ask. You can always speak freely to me.” “Why are you so against the tradition that your family started?” Levi asked not moving from his spot against the wall. “Well, my mom is really the one that taught be about how to treat everyone decently. Over time I came to realize how wrong it is that your people are being taken from your families and homes just to serve us until you die. You were here first, long before my great-grandfather showed up. We had-have-no right to do that to you.” “Do you really feel that way or are you just trying to get me to like you?” Levi really didn’t beat around the bush. Eren could get behind that. “No, I really feel like that. If it were up to me, slavery would be outlawed. But I’m not king right now so I have no power. I have to wait for him to die.” “Do you really dislike your father that much?” Levi arched one of his thin brows. “That’s a nice way of putting it, but yes. He’s everything that I don’t want to be. He ignores my mother, he’s rude to everyone that works here, he thinks that Kyojin aren’t even beings with feelings. He’s terrible.” Eren frowned and shook his head. “Sounds like a typical royal to me.” Levi breathed and Eren could barely hear him. “Yeah, basically.” Eren shrugged. “There’s a few that aren’t that bad. Krista is pretty nice. She’s a royal but she likes to work in the kitchen. She says that if she wasn’t a royal she’d be a chef.” “Reiss?” Levi asked. “Uh, yeah. How’d you know?” Eren was shocked that Levi would even know the Reiss family name. Sure, they were well known in the human world but as far as Eren knew, Levi had had no contact with the human world outside of Eren and the compound he was in. “Lucky guess.” Levi shrugged. “Uh, okay.” Eren decided not to push. “So, tell me about yourself.” “Is that an order?” “No, I wouldn’t order you to do that. It was just me wanting to get to know you.” Eren said as he rose out of bed and headed to the bathroom. “I won’t push you though. You don’t have to tell me anything.” Right as Eren was about to walk into the bathroom he heard Levi talking behind him. “Sorry, I didn’t hear what you said.” Eren said softly as he turned around to face the Kyojin. “I said, ‘I was captured about a year ago.’” Levi repeated a little louder. “Really?” Levi nodded. “That’s a long time. Usually they try to rehabilitate within six months.” “Well, I wasn’t exactly cooperating.” Levi explained. “Yeah, I noticed that. That’s why I chose you. I wanted someone I could talk to, not someone who’d hide from me.” Eren offered hoping to break down a few of Levi’s walls. “What kind of tribe did you live in?” “We were a relatively peaceful tribe. Nomads mostly. We were strong warriors though. I was the head of the warriors of my tribe, which is why I was so hard to capture.” “Really? That’s cool! You should totally come with me to training sometime! Maybe you could teach me some moves or something!” “You’d want your slave to teach you sparring techniques?” Levi asked in disbelief. This kid couldn’t be for real. “Sure! You probably know some things I don’t. It’d be kind of fun!” Eren chirped. “How old are you?” “We don’t measure our ages the same as you.” Levi said. “Oh.” Eren replied dumbly. Of course they didn’t. Humans measured time differently than Kyojin. “I’ve been told that I’m about 25 or 26 in human years though.” Levi divulged, feeling slightly awkward. “Oh, so you’re about seven years older than me then!” Eren smiled. “I guess so.” Levi shrugged. He didn’t really understand the emphasis humans seemed to put on age. It wasn’t that big of a deal for his kind. Sure, they celebrated birthdays-especially for the youngsters-but they didn’t really keep track of their age. “I better get cleaned up,” Eren said realizing that Levi was beginning to feel uncomfortable. “I don’t really want to go to this dinner but I also don’t feel like fighting with my dad tonight. Maybe tomorrow.” “Do you need any help?” Levi asked resuming his role as a slave. “Nah,” Eren said quickly, trying to hide the flush on his face at the idea of Levi seeing him naked. “I’ve managed showers by myself for a while now so I think I’m good. Thanks though.” Eren could swear that he saw a small smile on Levi’s face as he shut the door to the bathroom behind himself. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Chapter 4 “I really don’t want to do this,” Eren sighed as he and Levi made their way to the dinning room. He wasn’t looking forward to parading Levi around like some sort of circus animal. “You need to though. The King ordered us to go.” Levi said quietly to Eren. “I know but I really don’t like that you have to wear that.” Eren gestured at Levi’s attire. He was barefoot, wearing wine colored harem pants that were tight around his ankles and waist but loose around his thighs and calves. The decorative blue sash tied at the waist of his pants signified that he belonged to the prince. He had a white dress shirt on with a blue vest over the top, which had the Jaeger family crest stitched in. Levi also wore a green collar around his neck, yet another way for others to know that Levi belonged to Eren. But it wasn’t his clothes that necessarily bothered Eren. It was the bracelets he wore around his wrists and ankles. While they appeared to be decorative, Eren knew that they contained the ability to shock Levi should his father decide that Levi was acting out of line “It’s standard attire for us.” Levi shrugged but he didn’t particularly want to wear the slave uniform either. But he did appreciate that he didn’t have to wear shoes. Shoes were fucking awful. They constricted Levi’s feet, making them ache and sweat uncomfortably. “Yeah, but they could at least give you the dignity of a pair of shoes. I’d hate for you to step on something and hurt your feet.” Eren said. “It’s not that bad. I’m used to it.” Levi told him. “What did your people wear?” Eren asked curiously. “We wore clothes similar to a long tunic. Because of my stat….” Levi trailed off as though he didn’t mean to say something. Eren didn’t press him and let Levi continue when he was ready. “Uh, status as warrior I wore a neck tie. I think humans call it a cravat?” “Those are the things that tie around your neck right?” Eren asked. “Yeah.” Levi nodded. “We wore pants made of hide from animals we hunted and we didn’t have shoes.” “No shoes? But you were a nomadic tribe. Wouldn’t you hurt your feet walking around so much without something protecting your feet?” “We don’t need them.” Levi stopped and lifted his right foot up for Eren to see. Eren noticed that Levi’s feet seemed to be padded, protected by rough skin similar to a cat’s paw. “Oh, that’s helpful.” Eren laughed but became solemn as they stopped before a large wooden door. “Here we are.” “We should go in then.” Levi said to Eren. “If you get uncomfortable by anything anyone says or does to you, let me know. You technically belong to me as far as everyone else is concerned, so you don’t have to take shit. Some of those people in there will try to push you into acting out because of stories they’ve heard but if you just poke my arm, I’ll know to shut them down.” Eren told Levi. “I’ll be fine. I’m used to it by now.” Levi stated. “I know but it doesn’t make it right and you don’t have to tolerate that.” Eren insisted. “Thanks,” Levi said, avoiding Eren’s eyes. He turned back towards the doors mentally preparing himself for his first appearance as a royal slave. “And Levi,” Eren touched Levi’s arms to get his attention. “Don’t pay any attention to anything my father says about you, okay?” “Okay.” Levi said. With a deep breath, Eren opened the doors and entered the room, Levi following behind him as a slave was expected to do. Slave either walked next to or behind their masters but never in front. They could be beaten for that kind of blatant disrespect. The dinning room was huge, larger than anything Levi had seen before. It was decorated in hues of gold, wine, blue and green-all colors of the Jaeger family. The wall opposite of the door they entered in was covered in windows that overlooked the courtyard below. Huge wine colored curtains hung on the sides of each individual window and the curtains were tied back with gold ropes. In the center of the room was a massive table that could sit at least a hundred people. The chairs were wood with blue and green alternating cushions on the seats. The fine china glistened under the lights of the chandeliers spaced across the ceiling. A huge painted portrait of Eren’s great-grandfather hung over a fireplace which was lit at the current moment. People dressed in their formal clothes were scattered around the room talking and sipping on wine. Various slaves flinted around the room dodging and ducking between royals who paid little to no attention to them. Some were the cooks’ assistants, going around the room taking empty glasses and supplying the royals with new glasses of wine. Other slaves were dressed in attire similar to Levi’s. Each one wore sashes at their waste that differed in colors depending on which royal they belonged to but the clothes were pretty standard otherwise. Levi noted that his were slightly fancier than most of the other slaves, most likely because of his connection to Eren. “Eren!” A woman’s voice called out over the chatter of several conversations going on among other nobles in the room. “Ma,” Eren smiled at the woman approaching the pair. The woman, Eren’s mother, was dressed just as nicely as Eren. She wore a green Victorian style dress with blue accents. These style of dresses were not uncommon among those who came from families with money and power, both of which the Queen possessed. She had her brown hair curled and tied in a ponytail, which rested over her shoulder. She looked shockingly young for someone who had an 18 year-old son, the only feature that betrayed her youthful face were the fine lines around her honey colored eyes. She had a wide smile that showed all over her white teeth. The moment the Queen reached the pair, she greeted Eren with a large hug and a kiss on his cheek. To Levi’s surprise, Eren didn’t act bothered by the display but laughed instead. “How are you?” The Queen asked her son. “Fine,” Eren shrugged. “Not pleased I’m here though.” “I know,” The Queen sighed with a frown. “I tried to convince your father not to do this but you know how he is. You both can be so stubborn.” “Am not.” Eren grumbled. “You must be Levi! I’ve heard all about you!” The Queen proclaimed, ignoring her son and turning her attention to Levi who stood silently behind Eren. “Your Highness,” Levi bowed in respect but was surprised when the Queen shooed at his bow. “None of that,” she told him. “Please, call me Carla.” “I mean no disrespect but I’m not sure I can do that, Ma’am.” Levi said politely. He did not feel like receiving a beating from Eren’s father for disrespecting the Queen, even if it was her idea. “Of course not here!” The Queen scoffed. “But should we cross paths during our regular days, feel free to call me Carla.” “Thank you, Your Highness.” Levi nodded his head. “I do hope my son has been treating you well.” Carla continued chatting at him as if he was a close friend and not her son’s slave. “He tends to be stubborn as a yak and quite the hothead!” “MA!” Eren protested her statement. “What? You are! I should know since I raised you.” She laughed. Levi had to fight a smile at Carla’s antics. “He’s always been like that. He would get so riled up when he was a child. He usually responded fist first.” “I believe it.” Levi said to her. He decided he liked Carla. “But he has been quite accommodating.” “Good!” Carla smiled at Levi. “I better go though. I must mingle with the other nobles.” Carla winked before giving Eren a hug and Levi a pat on the shoulder. “Enjoy the party!” “Thanks, Ma.” Eren smiled at his mother as she turned to leave. “She’s very kind.” Levi said quietly so only Eren could hear him. It would unacceptable for a slave to speak about the Queen so openly to the Prince. “Yeah, she’s pretty great.” Eren smiled at Levi before moving in the direction of one of the cooks’ slaves. “Come on, I need alcohol if I’m going to deal with these snobs.” The mingling wasn’t so bad, Levi thought. Eren seemed very composed and pleasant for someone who didn’t even want to be there in the first place. Some of the royals commented on Levi’s demeanor, telling Eren he should tell his slave to be more inviting and less standoffish. Eren immediately shut these statements down telling the royals to fuck off in much more eloquent words. When dinner finally was served, Eren sat at the front of the table. Obviously, the King sat at he head of the table flanked by Eren and his mother. Levi, like all the other slaves, stood against the wall behind his master. Should Eren need anything, Levi would be there to retrieve it for him. Dinner went smoothly, conversation was kept light and usually steered clear of any slave-related topics thanks to Carla. Eren did notice that his mother’s Kyojin and his close friend, Mikasa, was staring intently at Levi. It almost looked as if she recognized the other man. Levi for the most part never looked anywhere other than the walls across from him or at the back of Eren’s head. Eren made a mental note ask Mikasa about Levi later when they had the chance to talk. Maybe she knew something about Levi that could help Eren get to know his Kyojin better. Thankfully, dinner ended quickly and Eren and Levi found themselves back in their room not too long after. “Well that went better than expected,” Eren said out loud as he pulled the blankets down so he could crawl into bed. “Yes, it was relatively manageable.” Levi agreed. “I always feel bad for you guys at the dinners though.” Eren sighed sadly. “Why?” Levi inquired as he crawled into his bed. “Because you have to watch us eat while you wait for us to finish so you can eat in a different room. I wish you could eat with us.” Eren said. “It’s how things are.” Levi said quietly, a little surprised by Eren’s statement. “I know but it still doesn’t mean it’s right.” Eren said letting out a yawn. “Goodnight, Eren.” Levi said, turning off the lights, effectively ending the conversation. “Goodnight, Levi.” Eren said into the darkness of the room. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Chapter 5 The morning brought with it the sun, which shone through the windows and directly into Eren’s face. Letting out a long groan, Eren rolled over and covered his head with his blankets hoping to shield himself from the sun’s bright rays. Unfortunately for Eren, the moment he was beginning to feel sleep take him, the knocking began. Again. For the second day in a row. “God dammit,” Eren protested sleepily. “Can’t a guy get any sleep around here?” “No,” Eren heard Armin say. What was Armin doing in his room? “What are you doing here?” Eren asked pulling down his covers. “Waking you up.” Armin ripped the covers completely off the bed, leaving Eren in only his pajamas. “You’re going to be late for your training. Again.” “Oh come on, Armin. I can miss one day of training,” Eren pleaded as he tried to grab his blankets back from his friend. “That’s what you said last time. And the time before that,” Armin informed him as he yanked his hands back before Eren could grab hold of the blankets. Damn his Kyojin reflexes. “Now get up. I’m surprised Levi hasn’t woken you up yet. Usually we’re supposed to wake our masters in the mornings.” Armin looked over to Levi’s bed to find it empty. “Where is Levi?” Armin questioned looking around the room. Just as the words left Armin’s mouth, the bathroom door opened revealing a wet but dressed Levi. Levi looked up from folding his pajamas to see Armin. “Good morning,” Levi said, nodding at Armin. “Good morning, you must Eren’s new Kyojin.” Armin nodded back in greeting. “Yes, and you are?” Levi asked. Eren nearly laughed at how blunt the Kyojin was when he wasn’t around royalty. The look on Armin’s face was priceless. “I’m Armin,” His friend replied after getting over his momentary shock. “I’m the slave to the Commander and Eren’s best friend.” “I see,” Was all Levi said before going back to folding his clothes. “Anyway, I was just waking Eren up for his morning training.” Armin told the other Kyojin. “He always tries to get out of it if he can.” “Do not!” Eren protested his friend’s accusation. Levi just gave a non-committal hum in response. “Yes, you do.” Armin sent his friend a pointed look. “Now get up and get ready. You have fifteen minutes until you need to be down in the training arena.” “Fine, fine.” Eren sighed and swung his legs off he bed while he let out a long yawn. “I’ll be there.” “Don’t make me come back for you.” Armin warned before laying the blankets on the bed and turning to Levi. “I trust you’ll make sure he arrives on time.” “I will,” Levi nodded once watching the other Kyojin go. Eren grumbled something about being tag teamed under his breath before going to take a quick shower and brush his teeth. He didn’t worry about taming his hair since it had proven countless times over his lifetime to be untamable. Once dressed, he exited the bathroom. The first thing he noticed was how immaculately clean his bedroom suddenly was. Eren wasn’t by any means a slob but he wasn’t this neat either. It was apparent that not only was Levi great at cleaning but he was efficient at it as well. “Wow,” Eren let out an appreciative hum. “You really got to work, didn’t you?” “Well, it is my job and I didn’t have much else to do while you were in there.” Levi shrugged. “Well, thanks.” Eren laughed lightly before looking at the time. “I guess I should head down now.” “Yes, I was about to get you if you didn’t finish soon.” Levi told him as he followed Eren out of his room. The slaves were already hard at work dusting, vacuuming the halls, cleaning the windows and polishing the hardwood. Levi wasn't too surprised they were up so early. Kyojin naturally were early risers. They woke with the sun in order to make the most of the daylight, especially in the dark winters. Only select Kyojin types were nocturnal. Levi had come across one while in “rehabilitation” and trying to break the habit proved to be difficult. Levi pitied the girl to be honest. “Good morning,” Eren said to the Kyojin as they passed, offering a tired but friendly wave. “Good morning, sir.” The Kyojin responded in friendly voices. Some of the Kyojin even waved back at Eren. “Do you know them?” Levi asked as they walked out of earshot. “Some of them.” Eren shrugged. “Never hurts to be friendly though. Their life is hard enough as is. They don’t need a rude Prince on top of it all.” “I see,” Levi said but didn’t look at him. They walked for a moment in silence before Eren could no longer stand it. It wasn’t that Eren didn’t mind silence from time to time; he just didn’t want things to become awkward with Levi. “So,” Eren began. “Do you know anything about where we are going?” “No,” Levi said honestly. “I was given a sheet of your daily routine but I haven’t had a chance to really look at it yet.” “Of course they gave you a sheet. That was probably Armin’s idea,” Eren groaned in embarrassment. Dammit, Armin. “Don’t be upset, it is my job to know your schedule and to accompany you and make sure you arrive to your commitments.” Levi told him. “Still! You aren’t my babysitter, Levi. You’re my friend.” Eren told the Kyojin. “Anyway, I have training in the morning. I’m not a knight but since I’m the Prince I still have to learn how to defend myself and fight in case they require my assistance in battle. Not that we’ve ever been at battle.” Eren said but missed the brief dark look the crossed over Levi’s face. “Makes sense.” Was Levi’s reply. “I usually spar with Jean, but sometimes Reiner will trade with Jean and I get to spar with him.” Eren complained. “Hopefully, today is one of those days.” But, it was apparent that today was not one of those days when the two made it to the arena. The arena was a large room with hard wood floors and a large, vaulted ceiling. There were sparring rings scattered around the room that were fenced off. They were cushioned with mats to help prevent injuries. Not very realistic since there aren’t mats in the real world but if it made the humans feel better then Levi couldn’t say anything. The rings varied in size with the largest in the center flanked by smaller but still spacious rings. Levi didn’t quite understand the reasoning behind the varied sizes but then again, humans were weird and he didn’t think he’d ever fully understand them. Levi assumed that Eren would be sparring in the center ring since there was already another man with two-toned brown hair inside it and Armin was leaning against the railings talking to two-toned hair. When the pair spotted Eren and Levi, Armin waved at them. “I’m glad you made it on time,” Armin told his friend as soon as they were close enough to hear him. “Yeah, yeah,” Eren rolled his eyes. “It’s not like you or Levi would let me skip today anyway.” “For good reason,” Two-toned said. Levi assumed this was Jean, the boy Eren was complaining about earlier. “You need all the sparring practice you can get, Jaeger.” “Oh yeah?” Eren glared at Jean. “Wanna see who can kick your ass, Horse Face?” “Bring it, Your Highness!” Jean challenged, sneering the last part. At the insult, Eren jumped over the fence and into the ring with Jean. Now that Levi had a good look at Jean, he could see why Eren called him Horse Face. Jean was almost the same height as Eren, with short two-toned brown hair and a long face. He wasn’t as muscular as Eren but Levi knew from personal experience not to be deceived by outward appearances. As soon as Eren entered the ring, both boys assumed fighting stances. Levi was interested to see how well Eren could hold his own in a fight or if all his boasting was just talk. The boys circled each other, calling out various insults, for a moment before Eren took the first swing. Jean easily dodged the swing, almost as if he was expecting it. “Eren is so impatient.” Armin sighed. “They do this every time. They insult each other until Eren becomes too impatient and his temper gets to him and then he swings at Jean. They’ll trade blows for a bit and then when Eren becomes too tired, Jean strikes and KOs him.” “So he loses every time they spar?” Levi asked the blond. “Meh,” Armin made a waved his hand side to side. “Sometimes he’s able to one-up Jean, but he usually lets his temper get in the way. If he’s fighting Reiner then it’s a more fair fight. Jean just knows how to rile Eren up and uses it to his advantage. Eren’s actually pretty good but he’s still got a lot to learn.” “I see,” Levi hummed, keeping his eyes trained on the pair. “He clearly has a solid foundation but he hasn’t quite perfected it yet. His stance is off and his arms are too high up. He’s left himself open for a kick in the ribs.” Armin looked at the other Kyojin for a long moment before switching into a language foreign to the humans in the ring. He wanted some privacy without looking suspicious. “You know an awful lot about fighting, Levi.” Armin said to the Kyojin. Levi looked at Armin and for a split second shock showed in his eyes. But before Armin could really see the emotion it was gone, replaced by his usual, stoic demeanor. “You still remember Kyojin, then.” He hummed at the other Kyojin. “Yes, I use it with Mike from time to time.” Armin told him. “Mike is my master’s other Kyojin.” Levi did not miss the way Armin said “other”. The emphasis implied that Armin was not being used for sexual favors and probably just acted as an assistant to his master. While not uncommon, he was surprised. Usually masters preferred younger Kyojin to relieve their “tensions” with. “I see,” Levi said so that Armin knew he didn’t miss the underlying meaning. “Does Eren know that you were a warrior?” Armin finally asked. “Yes, but I doubt he knows what exactly it means. He gets the idea though.” Levi said honestly. There was no point in lying to the kid, he was obviously intelligent and he was also Eren’s best friend. “Of course not,” Armin said, looking back at the two humans who were trading punches. “They don’t teach them about our culture; probably to keep us from being more than slaves to them. It’d be dangerous if they began to show us the same sympathy and compassion Eren does. It could lead to a coup.” “I suppose so,” Levi considered Armin’s words before switching back into human language. “Looks like Jean beat Eren.” “Not again,” Armin sighed. “Not talking now are you, Jaeger?” Jean grinned triumphantly as Eren stood up from the dust he was previously lying in. “Shut up, Horse Face! I could still beat you, I’m just tired is all.” Eren excused. “Maybe you need a tutor,” Jean laughed. “Otherwise, you may die if you end up in battle. Kyojin are crazy good at hand-to-hand.” “You act like you’ve seen it first hand,” Eren pointed out. “No, but I’ve watched Reiner and Bert spar before and let me tell you, for being a nervous wreak, Bert held his own.” “Really? I can’t picture Bert being anything other than his usually skittish self.” Eren said. “All Kyojin are trained at some point, dude. Just ask Levi,” Jean turned to the two Kyojin. “Am I right?” “You’re not wrong.” Levi said. “Really?” Eren’s green eyes widened in surprise as he approached the fence where Levi and Armin stood. “Yes,” Levi said. “It’s essential in our world that we all know how to fight. Some are more extensively trained than others, but the principles are instilled when we’re young.” “You should show me some of your moves,” Eren said excitedly. “I want to see how good you are.” “I don’t think that's a good idea, Eren.” Armin fretted at his friend. “It’ll be fine, Armin. I’m the Prince. No one would tell me that I couldn’t spar with my Kyojin.” Eren reminded his friend before looking Levi in the eyes. “I won’t force you but I’d love to see some of the moves you have.” After a moment of hesitation and consideration Levi finally sighed, “Fine,” before jumping into the ring, effectively trading places with Jean who jumped down by Armin. “This should be good,” Jean chuckled. “It’ll be something,” Armin groaned. “I wasn’t worried about Eren getting in trouble; I was worried that Levi would kick his ass too hard.” “Oh hoh. I’m loving this already.” Jean announced. Eren and Levi walked to opposite ends of the center of the ring before taking up a fighting stance. After Jean shouted, “Go!” they began to circle each other. Right away, Eren could tell Levi was assessing Eren’s stance. Levi didn’t bother to look at his face opting to look at Eren’s feet and arms. After a while of no moves on Levi’s part, Eren decided to strike. Eren shuffled his feet slightly to the left before jumping to the right to throw Levi’s defenses off before aiming a punch to his side. Eren wasn’t expecting for Levi to anticipate the move. Levi responded to the false movements by moving back and to the right before ducking under Eren’s fist. Before Eren could recover, Levi struck. He blocked the punch with his left forearm and dropped into a crouch, using his leg to swipe Eren’s feet out from under him. The moment Eren hit the ground Levi was on him, pressing his arm under Eren’s chin and directly over his trachea and straddling his legs to keep Eren from being able to stand up. The whole fight was over in less than a minute. “Holy shit!” Jean cried in surprise after a moment. “That was fucking awesome!” “Woah,” Eren huffed under Levi. They were still pressed together, Levi straddling Eren with his face hovering above him. They looked into each other’s eyes for a long moment before Eren blushed and Levi pulled away. He got off of Eren and held out his hand to help the man up, which Eren gratefully took. “That was incredible, Levi.” Eren smiled at the short Kyojin. “It wasn’t that impressive,” Levi told him. “You gotta tell me how you did that!” Eren insisted. “It wasn’t hard really,” Levi told him reluctantly. “Your stance is too wide which set you off balance when you tried to hit me. All I had to do was wait for you to strike so I could use your balance to my advantage.” “You got to train me, Levi!” Eren insisted. “You’re amazing and no one has ever told me anything about my stance before!” “I doubt that since it’s very obvious when you watch you fight,” Levi cocked a brow in disbelief. “No seriously, no one gives Eren critique.” Jean told Levi. “They’re too scared to because he’s the Prince. They don’t want him to get mad and get them fired. Even if they are right.” “It’s annoying,” Eren sighed in frustration. “It’s detrimental to your fighting.” Levi said. “You also hold your arms up too high.” “Really?” Eren said. Levi nodded his head, “Here, show me how you normal stand.” When Eren took his stance, Levi walked up to him and continued. “Your legs are too wide,” He used his foot to nudge Eren’s legs closer together. “Your arms don’t need to be up so high either. You’re leaving yourself open to a kick in the ribs.” Levi demonstrated by lightly taping Eren in the ribs with his foot before lowering Eren’s fists with his hands. “Hold them down here,” He told him before trying to lightly kick Eren again but was blocked by Eren’s arms. “It allows you to protect your side but is still close enough that you can quickly block a punch to the face as well.” “Holy shit,” Eren said when he realized Levi was right. “Levi, now you really have to train me! You’re the only one who isn’t scared to critique me!” “I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Eren.” Levi told him hesitantly. “No one else is going to help me and Jean’s right; I could get killed in battle unless someone teaches me how to really fight.” Eren pointed out. “It would look bad if anyone saw a slave teaching the Prince to fight,” Levi pointed out but his resolve was wavering. Eren’s pleading green eyes and actual point was making it hard for him to say no. “If they say anything I’ll let them know it was my idea!” Eren told him. “Please, Levi? I don't wanna die.” He pouted. “Fine,” Levi sighed after a moment’s hesitation. “YES!” Eren fist pumped into the air. “Watch out, Horse Face, I’m gonna be unbeatable soon!” “Dream on, Jaeger.” Jean rolled his eyes. “Eren, you need to get moving,” Armin finally interjected. “You have class in five minutes.” “Shit!” Eren cried before grabbing Levi’s wrist and tugging him towards the doors to the castle. “Come on, Levi; we’re gonna be late!” As soon as the pair were out of earshot Armin fixed a glare on Jean. “Why’d you do that?” Armin growled at the human. “Do what?” Jean feigned innocence. “Suggest that Levi trains Eren.” Armin crossed his arms while continuing to glare at Jean. “Because, Levi’s fucking amazing and Eren really does need the help. I wasn’t lying when I said that none of the trainers ever critique Eren’s fighting when we’re at practice.” Jean informed him. “Besides, did you not feel the sexual tension they emitted when Levi pinned Eren to the ground?” Armin just rolled his eyes. “You better hope that your brilliant idea doesn’t backfire, Jean.” Armin hissed. “Have a little faith my furry friend,” Jean patted Armin on the shoulder and laughed. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Chapter 6 “I am so glad it’s time for dinner,” Eren announced as he and Levi made their way to the dining hall. “I’m so tired after all that learning.” After practice, Eren and Levi had raced across nearly half the castle to Eren’s first class of the day. Just like other royals that were his age, Eren was required by his parents to take various courses in several different subjects. While Eren could understand learning to read and write and basic math, he didn’t understand why he had to learn three separate languages, and the biology of Planet Earth. He didn’t even live in the same solar system as Earth, so why he had to learn about it was beyond him. Levi remained with Eren for a majority of his classes, standing in the back of the room against the wall with the other Kyojin who served the other royals in Eren’s courses. Levi and the other Kyojin were not permitted to talk to each other in fear it would distract the royals from their learning. Levi didn’t mind attending Eren’s courses half as much as Eren did. He mainly zoned out for most of them, only paying attention when Eren needed a new pencil or more paper. He did however enjoy learning about Earth. His knowledge of the humans’ home planet was extremely limited and he found it fascinating to see the other animals on their home planet. “Will the King be joining us tonight?” Levi asked. “Nah, he has some meeting he has to go to so he’ll be gone all week.” Eren said merrily. Clearly the idea of having his father out of the castle was a pleasant one to the prince. “I see,” Levi said. “It’ll just be us, my mom, and Mikasa tonight.” Eren told him as they approached the dining room. Levi wasn’t entirely displeased by this. Eren’s mother seemed kind enough and he and Mikasa had never actually spoken since his arrival. He knew she’d want to speak with him eventually but he wasn’t too keen on the idea of having a conversation with the other Kyojin. Eren’s mother had beaten them to dinner it seemed as she was already seated at the table. Levi was surprised to see Mikasa sitting next to her, sipping from a wine glass. Slaves were taught that they were not permitted to sit much less eat with their masters during a meal. They were to wait behind them and fetch anything they needed. Once dinner was complete, the Kyojin were allowed to eat but only in the kitchen, away from their master and out of sight. Levi figured that by the way Eren sat casually across from his mother and Mikasa that this was a regular thing. Still, Levi remained standing behind Eren, unsure of what to do. Instead Levi bowed politely at Eren’s mother in greeting. “Levi,” Eren’s mother said after realizing Levi had no intentions of sitting next to Eren. “Why don’t you sit with us?” “I’m not sure-“ Levi began. “Nonsense!” Carla laughed. “Sit, sit! Enjoy the meal! Sasha made an amazing roast tonight!” After a moment, Levi reluctantly sat down in the empty chair on Eren’s right. Right across from Mikasa who had been staring at him over her red scarf since he entered the room with Eren. Great. After he sat down, Eren poured him a glass of wine and set a piece of meat down on the plate in front of him. “Mom is right,” Eren told him with a smile. “Sasha makes a killer roast.” Levi just stared at his plate for a brief moment before grabbing his knife and fork and cutting the meat into smaller pieces, trying to ignore the hole Mikasa was burning into his forehead. “Mika,” Eren sighed after a moment. “Why the hell are you staring at Levi like that?” “It’s nothing,” Mikasa said flatly and looked at Eren after a moment’s hesitation. “Thank The Gods,” Levi thought to himself, thankful to Eren for getting her attention away from him. “So,” Carla spoke after a moment. “How was training?” “It was good,” Eren said around a piece of meat, manners be damned. “Jean beat me but then Levi showed me what I was doing wrong so that I could fix it! He’s an amazing fighter, Ma! You should’ve seen it! I couldn’t even get a punch in before he had me pinned to the ground!” “Well, that’s not hard to do, Eren.” Mikasa teased. “Mika!” Eren groaned. “Now, now.” Carla laughed trying to calm her son. “Is that so? Levi, how did you get so good at fighting?” “I was trained when I was young,” Levi said awkwardly. He wasn’t really sure how to reply to her question. He couldn’t ignore her question like he typically would. Despite the casualness of their meal Carla was still the Queen and he was still a slave-even if Eren didn’t treat him like one. But he wasn’t all that keen on sharing his background with everyone either. He allowed Eren to know since he’d be spending the rest of his long life serving him and Eren had been kind thus far. “I see,” Carla hummed. “You also have impeccable manners and sound very educated. I assume that’s something you also learned when your were young then.” “Yes, it was.” Levi nodded, impressed by her observation skills. “Interesting,” She hummed but didn’t comment further. “So anyway,” Eren scowled in confusion before continuing the conversation. “Levi agreed to help train me since no one else will tell me when I’m doing something wrong.” Levi could feel Mikasa’s gaze settle on him again with Eren’s statement. He returned her gaze impassively hoping she would read his body language. While Eren and his mother could not notice the subtle shifts in Levi’s ears and the slightly faster flicks of his tail, Mikasa was sure to notice it. Not to his surprise, Mikasa did notice his silent message to her. She responded with a deep breath through her nose, a fast blink and a loud thump of her tail. “Later” He had told her silently and she had agreed. They would talk later and Levi knew he couldn’t avoid it. While the two Kyojin had their silent conversation and slightly intense staring match, Eren and his mother had finished their meal and were discussing his courses. While Eren wasn’t all that interested in them, his mother reminded him that he needed all the intelligence he could get and eventually made Levi promise to make sure he didn’t skip anymore classes. Overall, dinner passed fairly quickly and without much event save for the Mikasa incident. Back in Eren’s bedroom, the two settled in to bed after a quick shower for Eren and a speedy but thorough grooming for Levi. Levi waiting until Eren’s breathing evened out before he snuck out of his room. If the wrong person caught Levi, he risked serious punishment. But, he had promised to meet Mikasa this evening and trusted his nose to find her. He wandered for a moment before he caught her scent. He followed it to a familiar room-the arena. “Mikasa,” He spoke, using his native tongue knowing she would understand him. “Levi,” She replied in kind. “I did not expect to see you again.” “Neither did I,” Levi said as he came to a halt in front of her. “It’s been a long time.” “That it has,” She agreed. While her voice gave nothing away, her tail did. It flicked back and forth instead of swaying gently like Levi’s. “Spit it out,” Levi finally sighed as he read her body language. It was impossible for him to ignore it; she was being uncharacteristically open. “I thought you had died.” Mikasa finally admitted quietly. “When I had heard that they had finally found the feline nomadic tribe, I knew they had discovered the Underground.” “How did you find out about that?” He asked curiously. If he could get an in to what was happening with other Kyojin, he may be able to track the remaining members of his tribe. “Armin told me,” Mikasa told him. Levi’s ears flicked forward in surprise prompting her to continue. “He’s the assistant to the head knight so he overhears things. Anytime there’s a raid, they inform Erwin and Erwin tells Armin so he can tell us. When Armin heard they found the Underground he came straight to me.” “Erwin?” Levi cocked his head. “If he’s here then so is-“ “Hanji? Yes.” A new voice joined them. Levi immediately recognized it as Armin’s but couldn’t help the spiking of his hair on his tail. “Sorry, didn’t mean to surprise you. Mikasa told me you were going to meet her and I wanted to talk.” “It’s fine,” Levi said, calming his tail. “Do they know I’m here?” Levi asked them both. “Erwin does but I’m not sure if he told Hanji.” Armin admitted. “I’m surprised Captain Eyebrows hasn’t come to find me yet.” Levi said. “He’s baiting his time. He’ll find you soon though.” Armin snorted at Levi’s nickname for his master. “I may steal your “alternative” name for him though.” “Go for it,” Levi smirked. “I’m sure he’ll be pleased to hear it. It’s been a long time since I saw him. I figured he was the one that ratted us out.” “No,” Armin shook his head. “He was genuinely shocked when he got the news that they had raided your tribe. He never told anyone about what you did.” “Good.” Levi nodded in approval. “He should keep it that way. I’ve been trying to lay low since I got here. I don’t want Eren to know who I am.” “You don’t think he’ll find out?” Armin asked. “No,” Levi shook his head, scoffing a little. “The brat is pretty oblivious. It would take a lot for him to figure it out. As long as no one says anything, I should be fine.” “Don’t you think he deserves to know, Levi?” Mikasa asked him seriously. “I don’t know, ‘Kasa.” Levi answered honestly. “Maybe over time but it’d be a lot to take in after just meeting me.” “Someone is going to say something eventually, Levi. You aren’t exactly a nobody.” She reminded him. “Any Kyojin born outside of captivity knows who you are. Hell, even ones who were born here have heard stories. They may not recognize you but they know your name. It’s only a matter of time before someone accidentally spouts their mouth off and he finds out.” “Then we’ll tell everyone to keep quiet.” Levi said being uncharacteristically stubborn. He knew she was right though. He couldn’t keep this secret from Eren for long, people talk and Eren was bound to hear something eventually. Especially since he was friends with a lot of Kyojin. “That will only work for a while,” Armin stated the obvious. “You need to at least hint at it so he’s not as surprised. Hell, even Carla is kind of suspicious.” Levi shot a look at Mikasa in hopes that she could counter Armin’s statement. “It’s true,” She said to his disappointment. “You heard her at dinner, Levi. She has an idea of your status at the very least. She and Eren are close; she may mention it to him. Then what?” “Then I tell him,” Levi surrendered. “Look, I’m not a complete asshole. I’ll tell him eventually just not right now, okay?” “Fine,” Mikasa relented. “But-“ It was then that the lights turned on. Levi hadn’t noticed they were off; his eyes were well adjusted with his night vision. The sudden change in brightness made him hiss in surprise. He wasn’t alone in his surprise though. Mikasa also hissed and Armin rubbed his eyes while holding a hand up to block the light so he could let his eyes adjust. “Levi, Mikasa, Armin, what are you doing here?” It was Eren. He had found them. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Chapter 7 “Shit,” Levi hissed lowly. “Hi, Eren.” Armin said meekly. “What are you guys doing here at this time at night? Do you guys know what could happen if someone else found out you guys were here alone?!” Eren shouted at the trio as he approached them. “Eren, lower your voice. You’re going to wake everyone up.” Mikasa told him. “What are you guys doing?” Eren hissed through gritted teeth. Levi looked between Armin and Mikasa trying to figure out a believable answer to give him that wouldn’t give anything away. “Guys!” Eren hissed. “We were just talking,” Armin finally said. “What could you guys possibly be talking about?” Dammit, when Eren had his moments of perceptiveness he was not easy to fool. “We were catching up,” Mikasa finally relented. Both Armin and Levi shot her silent looks of surprise and disbelief but she ignored them. Whatever happened to ‘not telling Eren’? “’Catching up’?” Eren asked. “What catching up could you guys possibly have?” “Well…” Armin trailed off, clearly not able to think of a good answer. “Mikasa?” Eren turned to the female Kyojin who avoided his gaze like it would kill her. “Mikasa is my cousin,” Levi finally relented. It was his turn to receive shocked looks. “We haven’t been in contact since her capture and we wanted to catch up.” “You guys are cousins?” Eren nearly screeched causing the Kyojin to cover their ears. “Sorry.” He apologized before continuing in a lower voice, “Why didn’t you guys tell me when you saw each other the other night?” “I’ve kinda been avoiding her,” Levi admitted. He knew both Armin and Mikasa were aware that he was avoiding her, which made Eren the only one who was surprised by the statement. Dammit. “Why? She’s your cousin, Levi.” Eren’s eyes were now sad. Double dammit. “Well, her capture was sorta kinda my fault.” Levi confessed. “Levi-“ Mikasa said but Levi held a hand up to silence her. “How was it your fault?” Eren pressed. “We come from different but related tribes.” Ldvi explained. “Our tribes were once one single tribe but that was a very long time ago. As the story goes, two brothers had a disagreement about the way the tribe was being led. This led to them forming their own tribes. One brother-my ancestor so to speak- formed his own tribe while the other-Mikasa’s ancestor- continued to rule the original. Over time, our appearances changed but our tribes remained in contact. At the beginning of every summer we meet by the river to catch up with each other and hold festivals. Once your kind started enslaving us, we had to be more discrete. “On the day Mikasa was captured, my tribe was supposed to meet up with hers. But we had a sick elder and I made the executive decision to stop more frequently and be late. My tribe is by far the more superior fighters and had we been on time, we would’ve been there to defend her tribe. Instead we arrived after the raid to find half the tribe dead, and the other half missing. If I hadn’t stopped, we could’ve saved them.” “We never blamed you, Levi.” Mikasa said sadly, he tail hanging low and her ears drooping. “You couldn’t have known and you were doing what was right by your tribe. None of us could ever hold that against you.” “Still,” Levi frowned but his face remained impassive. “So that’s how she was captured.” Eren finally said making Levi look at him. “She never told me the full story. Just that they were ambushed at a summer festival. She never told me anything more than that.” “It wasn’t important.” Mikasa defended her actions. “It happened a long time ago and I don’t blame Levi so the rest never mattered.” “Is this why you were so upset when Erwin found out about the raid on the Leopard tribe?” Eren asked Mikasa. A low hiss caused Eren to look at Levi in surprise. Levi’s ears were pulled back flat against his head and his tail was flicking rapidly from side to side. His lips were drawn back showing his impressive and sharp teeth and his eyes were narrowed. “What?” Eren asked, surprised by Levi’s reaction. “Who told you that Levi was a Leopard, Eren?” Armin asked quietly. “Jean,” Eren told his friend. “Why?” “Levi isn’t a Leopard, Eren.” Mikasa explained. “Oh.” Eren said dumbly. “Sorry, Levi.” “Our tribes are actually enemies with Leopards.” Levi let out another hiss at the mention of the leopard tribe but Mikasa continued, unfazed. “They stabbed Levi’s tribe in the back a long time ago and neither of them got over it. The Leopards claim Levi’s tribe scammed them and so they tricked a tribe of Lions into attacking Levi’s tribe hoping that the Lions’ strength could overpower Levi’s tribe’s agility and cleverness. They lost obviously, but neither of them let go of the incident. Of course my tribe was caught in the crosshairs of it all.” “They fucking tried to kill us!” Levi spat in his native tongue. The pupils of his blue eyes were now wide circles, making his eyes look black, and for the first time since his arrival, he looked feral. “What did he say?” Eren asked Armin. “He said, ‘they fucking tried to kill us’,” Armin translated. “Oh.” Eren just blinked at Levi. “If he’s not a…” Eren trailed off after looking into Levi’s eyes. “You-know-what, then what is he?” Eren turned to Mikasa. “Is he a Panther like you since you’re related?” “No,” She answered. “He’s what’s called a Caracal.” “Caracal?” Eren asked, having never heard the word before. “Yes,” Armin spoke. “Caracals are the rarest and most aloof of the feline Kyojin. They used to be friendly with humans but after the enslavement began, they hid. Their nomadic tendencies and knowledge of the land made them near impossible to find. They’re the most deadly and most feared Kyojin. There’s only one tribe of Caracals though. Only recently did their construction of an underground city finish. Somehow the army was able to find the Underground and corner the Caracals. But not without paying a price though. Most of the knights were killed and they only captured two Caracals. One being Levi and the other killed himself after it was evident he couldn’t escape.” As Armin explained Levi’s breed to Eren, Levi began to calm down. His breathing was not longer labored, his eyes slowly returned to normal and he stopped hissing. “I made sure that everyone was able to escape,” Levi finally spoke mainly answering Mikasa’s silent question for him. “Because you are their best warrior?” Eren asked him. “Something like that,” Was all Levi said. When it was obvious that the conversation was going nowhere, they decided it was best to call it a night. The group separated, each of them going their separate ways and returning to their rooms for the night. Levi and Eren walked silently back to Eren’s room. Levi could tell that Eren had a million questions but Levi didn’t have the energy to answer them. He needed sleep. The moment the door to Eren’s room shut behind them, Eren began bombarding Levi with questions. “Did you know Mikasa was here?” “Why does Armin know so much about you?” “Why didn’t you tell me?” Eren asked. “Look, brat, I’m tired.” Levi sighed and crawled into his bed. “I’ll answer all your questions tomorrow.” “Fine,” Eren relented. “Goodnight, Levi.” “Night.” Levi hummed letting his heavy eyes close. He was almost asleep when he heard Eren mutter to himself, “I’m not a brat.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Chapter 8 The next morning was a weekend, which meant there was no class or training that morning, and Eren was going to take full advantage of his day off. His plans consisted of sleeping until he was too hungry and then lounging around the castle until dinner. Eren woke up at around ten in the morning when he could no longer force himself to fall back asleep. At first he was a little disoriented but after a moment of stretching and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, the memories of the previous night came surging to the forefront of his mind. Eren had woken up at maybe two in the morning to pee. Nothing unusual. But when he came out of the bathroom he noticed that Levi’s bed was empty. He had called out for Levi but received no response. After scouring his room and finding no trace of the Kyojin, the panic set in. At first Eren wondered if Levi had tried to escape but the more Eren tried to entertain the idea the more he realized that Levi was not that stupid. Levi would know by now that the castle was heavily guarded and there was no way he would be able to leave the castle grounds undetected, which meant that Levi had either been kidnapped or he had wandered off and was somewhere in the castle. The first idea seemed foolish to Eren. If Levi couldn’t leave the castle by his own vocation then he surely wasn’t going to get kidnapped either. Besides, Levi was too good of a fighter to be kidnapped, let alone go quietly. So by process of elimination Levi was wandering around somewhere in the castle, which was dangerous in its own right. If Levi was caught wandering around the castle alone at night by the wrong person he could be punished and punishment for Kyojin was not something to be taken lightly. Punishments varied in degree based off of what the Kyojin had done. He could get a slap on the hand or a brutal whipping. Neither was something that Eren wanted for Levi and he had to find him quick. Eren looked in every room he could possibly think of but could not find the Kyojin. After exhausting all possible places he could think to find Levi, he realized that there was one place he hadn’t checked-the arena. As Eren quietly opened the doors to the arena he heard voices he recognized. It was Armin, Levi and Mikasa. Eren couldn’t understand what they were saying and after a moment of listening he assumed they were speaking in their native tongue. Finally unable to keep quiet any longer, he flipped the light switch next to the door and confronted the three. He wasn’t expecting them to actually tell him what they were talking about. He could tell that Armin and Mikasa were trying to come up with a lie to tell him but to his surprise, Levi had come clean. He certainly was not expecting for the bomb Levi dropped when he announced that he and Mikasa were related. Now that he really thought about it, they did have the same dark features and sharp bone structure to them and they both were crazy good fighters. “Good morning,” Levi’s deep voice broke him of his thoughts. “Good morning, Levi.” Eren yawned. Levi was sitting at Eren’s desk across the room. It was obvious that he had been up for quite a while now since the feline was already dressed and was grooming his ears. Eren watched him quietly, observing the way that Levi cleaned his ears with his hands as a domesticated cat would. “What?” Levi asked him when he noticed Eren’s staring. “Nothing.” Eren tried to lie. One arched brow from Levi told him that he wasn’t doing a very good job. “Your ears turn red when you lie,” Levi told him in a bored tone. “I know,” Eren groaned. “So what was it that made you want to lie?” “I just-“ Eren stopped to think about how he could phrase his thoughts without sounding stupid but all that came out was, “Just thought you were cute grooming yourself.” Levi just blinked at the man in surprise for a moment before averting his eyes. Eren swore he could see a faint blush on Levi’s cheeks but chose not to point it out in fear of embarrassing himself further. “Sorry!” Eren tried to do damage control. “I didn’t mean that in a creepy way! You just reminded me of a cat.” “Well, I am a breed of cat,” Levi pointed out. “So does that mean that you groom yourself often then?” Eren asked curiously. “I suppose?” Levi hadn’t ever really thought about how often he groomed himself he just did it. “So about last night…”Eren trailed off. He wasn’t sure how to start the conversation but Levi did promise to explain things to him once he woke up. “I will answer your questions after you shower and eat.” Levi answered his unspoken question while gesturing to the tray of food set on the desk behind him. “I brought you food since you were asleep.” “Thanks,” Eren said as he got out of bed. Levi walked over to him and handed him his clothes and shooed Eren into the bathroom to get showered. Eren took a longer than normal shower, trying to think of things to ask Levi. He didn't want to prod too deeply in fear of bringing up bad memories, but he also wanted to know about Levi. Levi had given him some information last night but that only made him more curious among other things. After getting dressed and brushing his teeth, Eren joined Levi back in his room. Levi had already made his bed and set the food down on a coffee table that was placed in front of the loveseat Eren had placed in front of his largest window, overlooking the front gates. Eren sat on the couch, ready to ask Levi a question but Levi beat him to it. “I’m sure you’re curious about me and my past.” Levi said as he perched- again, like a cat- in the desk chair that he had pulled up to face Eren across the coffee table. “Yes,” Eren nodded around the toast he was munching on. “I realized last night how very little I actually know about you.” “What do you want to know?” Levi asked him, his tail laying flat against his legs. “Tell me about your breed of Kyojin. I’ve never heard of a Caracal before.” Eren decided to start small and see how much Levi revealed on his own. “Caracals are the rarest of the Kyojin species.” Levi began. “We only have one or two kittens at a time-three at most. Most feline breeds have up to six. We aren’t sure why this is but it makes replenishing our numbers difficult. “We’re adept hunters because we are so quiet and we hunt at all times of the day. We’re adroit climbers and are able to blend in with the trees, making us hard to find. We are solitary for the most part so we don’t really spend much time mingling with other tribes like some other feline and non-feline tribes do. Humans have a hard time capturing us because we’re so quiet. Caracals don’t really need to have much verbal conversation, we usually only have verbal conversations for our own amusement or if we’re communicating with non-Caracals.” Levi told him. “So how do you communicate then?” Eren asked. “Body language.” Levi shrugged. “Body language?” Eren scrunched his eyebrows together. “Yes. We use our tails, eyes and ears to communicate.” As Levi explained he moved each body part in demonstration. “Is that why Mikasa knew to meet up with you last night?” Eren was starting piecing things together. “Yes,” Levi nodded. “We had a conversation at dinner. I told her we would talk later and then after you fell asleep I followed her scent to the sparring arena.” “So, you’re good at smelling too?” Eren asked him. “Isn’t that a dog thing?” “No, I can scent too,” Levi’s nose scrunched up as if Eren had insulted him. “I’m not as good as a Canine Kyojin like Armin, but I can detect different scents and changes in scents.” “Changes in scents?” Eren asked. “Well, I can tell if someone has gone into heat, if the breeding took, if we’ve crossed paths with another tribe or entered another tribe’s territory.” “Breeding as in like reproduction?” “Well, is there another definition in the human language for copulation?” Levi asked him. “No, I guess that's the right word. I just didn’t think about the fact that you would need to know about someone else’s heats and stuff.” Eren blushed at the thought of Levi caring about breeding and heats. “Well of course I did,” Levi’s face and voice remained impassive. He clearly was not as fazed as Eren was by the direction their conversation was taking. “I am a mature Caracal, breeding and heats were something I dealt with frequently.” “Well, you didn’t deal with heats,” Eren avoided looking at Levi. “Yes I did,” Levi was thoroughly confused. Why did Eren not understand heats and breeding? Did they not teach him about human mating? “Well-I mean-You didn’t experience heats because you’re….male.” Eren sputtered. “Some male Caracals do experience heats,” Levi told him. “I thought heats were only for females who were ready for…babies.” Eren was sure he was as red as a tomato by this point. “We’ve had to adapt.” Levi explained with an almost undetectable smirk at Eren’s embarrassment. “When our numbers began to decline and our females were dying faster than we could reproduce, the Goddess gave us a male Caracal that was able to bear children. Now, males that are descended from the original male are able to bear kittens.” “Wow, that’s insane.” Eren had never heard of such a thing happening before. He had heard other Kyojin discuss “gifts” that their Goddess had given them but they never mentioned anything like that. “Is that specific to your tribe or were there others?” “It happened to other tribes as well. Several Panther and Tiger tribes had male bearers and a few of the Cougar tribes also had male bearers. I never heard of any leopard or lion tribes having them though. Probably because there are so many of them left still.” Levi shrugged. “I heard a few of the canine tribes also experienced it but it seemed to be mostly focused on feline tribes and tribes that were losing a lot of their members.” “Oh,” Eren said dumbly. “So, you can bear children then?” “Yes,” Levi admitted. “I can only bear one kitten though. That was the stipulation. It seems that it is harder for me to conceive and I had less frequent heats than females. In the past few generations, only one kitten was born per male bearer.” “Can you also create kittens through…other means?” Eren nearly didn’t ask the question but for some reason he really wanted to know the answer. “Yes,” Levi eyed him as if the question was the stupidest one he had ever heard. “I can father kittens.” “Can you father them with other male bearers?” “Yes, but it would be very difficult and a bit of a waste when I could just breed with a female or bear my own child.” Levi told him. “Have you fathered kittens before?” Eren hesitated to ask but he was so curious that he forced himself to ask the question. Part of him really wanted to know but some part of him deep down was afraid to know. Eren decided it was because he didn’t want to upset Levi by asking if it turned out Levi had fathered young before and they had somehow died. “Yes,” Levi said quietly looking over Eren’s shoulder and out the window behind him. “Oh,” Eren breathed. He felt like his gut dropped out of his ass and he wanted to cry. He wasn’t sure why he was reacting like this and couldn’t think of another time he had felt like that. “I had two kittens, actually,” Levi told him quietly. “They were fully grown when I was captured but they acted like the were still weaning. They were so dependent on me and so oblivious to the dangers around them. I guess it was my fault though; I shouldn’t have sheltered them so much. I just wanted to preserve their innocence.” “What happened to their mother?” Eren whispered partially hoping that Levi wouldn’t hear him. But with Levi’s advanced hearing, he caught the words just fine. “Dead,” Levi said without emotion. “She died when our kittens were small in an attack by a lone leopard.” “What happened to the leopard?” Eren asked but he had a feeling he knew the answer. “I killed it.” Yes, that was what Eren figured had happened. “So you raised them on your own?” Eren pressed hoping that Levi wouldn’t shut down on him. He was learning so much about the feline. “Yes,” Levi nodded seeming to be lost in his memories of his kittens. His face had softened a little and his eyes were warmer than Eren had ever seen them. “Rambunctious little ones they were. The youngest was like a fucking vacuum- she always wanted to eat and would just about suck me dry when I fed her. I was so happy when she was fully weaned. My son was a little easier to care for; he just liked to wander a little further than I wanted him to.” “What do you mean by ‘suck you dry’?” Eren interrupted the feline’s story. “Male bearers can lactate if they need to. So, when my kittens were left without their mother to feed them milk, my body naturally responded.” Levi finally locked eyes with Eren. “You don’t have breasts though?” Eren’s gaze briefly flickered to Levi’s flat chest as if he wasn’t totally sure. “I’m not a female!” Levi narrowed his eyes momentarily. “That’s not what I meant!” Eren raised both his hands up in defense when he realized he had offended Levi. “I just thought you might end up being stuck with breasts if that happened.” “My chest was a little swollen until they grew up,” Levi shrugged once he realized Eren wasn’t trying to insinuate anything. “Once they were weaned my chest returned to its natural shape.” “I see,” Eren hummed. It was weird to think that Levi had not only fathered and raised two children of his own but that he was also able to bear his own children. Before he could stop himself from saying anything stupid he blurted out, “Could you theoretically bear children from a different species?” “I suppose so?” Levi seemed taken back by the random question. “I meant in theory! Not that it really matters!” Eren’s eyes were wide with surprise at his own question and embarrassment that he had asked it. “Well, if I bred with another species and it took then I would in theory bear their young, yes.” Levi said after thinking about the question for a brief moment. “But that’s never happened before. Well, that I know of at least.” “If you don’t need to cross breed then why would you?” Eren laughed awkwardly. “Exactly,” Levi nodded. “Um, I have to go meet Armin!” Eren sprung up after a moment of quiet between the two. “Alright, I shall come with you then,” Levi stood as well, ready to escort his master to wherever Armin may be. “That’s okay!” Eren waved his hands in front of him. “You can hang out if you’d like! Enjoy our day off!” “What would I do?” Levi asked him and Eren could hear the rhetorical question that was hidden by Levi’s impassiveness. “There’s a huge library if you like to read,” Eren suggested not really knowing if Levi had learned to read. “I can take you there if you’d like.” “Very well,” Levi nodded his head and followed Eren out of his room. After a short walk they arrived at one of the castle’s several libraries. This particular library was a favorite among the Kyojin that had learned to read because it was full of books that were written in the Kyojin language hidden within its bookshelves. Eren had learned about the books from Armin and was surprised that someone didn’t notice by now. But he figured that the library was so out of the way for most of the royal families that they could easily hide their stories among the human ones. “Here we are!” Eren announced, turning to face Levi. “This is our library that is favored by our literate Kyojin!” “Why?” Levi muttered the question; too busy looking around the massive library before him. How was it possible to find enough books to fill the floor to celling bookshelves? “Because, there are hidden books in this library,” Eren whispered as if someone was going to overhear them in the empty library. “’Hidden books’?” Levi turned his questioning gaze on Eren. “Uh, yeah.” Eren chuckled flustered by just a simple gaze from Levi. He needed to see Armin ASAP. “I guess there are some books written in Kyojin hidden in here. If you can find them then you’re more than welcome to have them.” “Oh,” Levi blinked almost owlishly at Eren. He would’ve never thought that this library would have books that he could read in his own language. “So, I’ll leave you to it then,” Eren said awkwardly. “I’ll be back soon.” “Okay,” Levi shrugged and began to examine the books on the closest bookshelf. Once Levi heard the heavy wooden doors of the library close he breathed a sigh of relief. “What was all that about?” He wondered quietly to himself before setting off to find himself some books. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Chapter 9 “You asked him if he could cross breed?!” Armin asked-shouted-in disbelief. “Yes,” Eren hid his head in Armin’s pillow. Eren had found Armin in his room-slash-study. As usual, the Kyojin was helping his master do paperwork on a Saturday because neither of them could learn to take a damn day off. While Armin’s room was spacious especially for a slave but it was nowhere near the size of Eren’s, who was currently trying to become one with Armin’s bed. “Why the hell would you say that, Eren?” Armin shook his head at his friend. He knew Eren didn’t mean the question to be rude or perverted but that didn’t make him any less of an idiot. “Especially after he told you about his children!” “I don’t know, Armin! It just came out!” The pillow he was trying to suffocate himself with muffled Eren’s cry of embarrassment. “Why are you trying to commit suicide with my pillow?” Armin asked his friend. “’Cause I want to die,” Eren muttered. “Why?” Armin laughed. “Because, I’m so embarrassed!” Eren finally lifted his head to stare at his friend. “Levi finally opened up to me and all I wanted to know is if he had ever fucked anyone outside of his own species before!” “Why did- do- you care?” Armin’s nose pinched in confusion. “I don’t know!” Eren threw his hands in the air in frustration. “He started talking about breeding and whatnot and I just couldn’t let it go. Next thing I know, he’s admitting that he could produce his own child and he has two of his own with some random, dead woman.” “Well, he had a life outside of all this, Eren,” Armin gestured around them when he said ‘this’ to make his point. “I know he did,” Eren sighed. “I don't know why I cared so much when he was talking about his kids.” “You almost sound jealous, Eren.” Armin eyed his friends. “Why would I be jealous, Armin? He’s not my lover.” Eren scowled at his friend. “I don’t know, you tell me.” “I’m not jealous,” Eren insisted to no one in particular. “I just…I don't know.” “Eren, do you like Levi?” Armin asked “He’s nice and he’s a good trainer,” Eren told his friend. “He’s a good friend, so I guess I like him. Why?” “No, I mean do you like Levi.” Armin clarified. . It seemed like a stretch to Armin seeing as he and Levi had just met each other but then again, this was Eren he was talking about and no one used the term “normal” to describe Eren Jaeger. So it could go either way since Eren was involved. “You mean like have feelings for him?” Eren’s eyebrows shot up at his friend’s implication. “NO!” “Are you sure?” Armin asked his friend. “You sound like you are jealous of Levi’s old mate.” “I’m not, I swear!” Eren insisted. “I just wanted to know him better, that’s all.” “I think you have deeper feelings for Levi than you think.” Armin told him. “You said that you thought that he was cute when he was grooming himself, you were upset when you found out that he had taken a mate previously, and you were wanting to know if he could bear the children of someone who was of a different species.” There was a brief moment of silence while Armin’s words hung in the air. Eren neither confirmed nor deny Armin’s suggestion. “THAT’S WHY YOU ASKED ABOUT CROSSBREEDING!” Armin shouted, standing up and pointed at Eren when he had put everything together. Eren just looked away and blushed brightly at his friend’s accusation. “NO!” He half-heartedly shouted back. It wasn’t much of a denial coming from Eren. If Eren really denied something, he was very vocal about it. Sometimes he even acted scandalized. “You like him and you wanted to know if he could have your children!” Armin grinned widely at his thoroughly humiliated friend. “Did not!” Eren protested weakly. Maybe Armin was right maybe he did have feelings for Levi that went beyond those of a platonic friendship. “Do you think he may also have feelings?” Armin cocked his head to the side. Sometimes he really did look like a puppy, with his ears perked up and his big blue eyes staring holes into you. “Armin, I’d be surprised if he had feelings towards me that weren’t hatred or indifference.” Eren frowned. “I’m the person who is directly linked to the person that enslaved you all. Do you think he’s going to fall in love with someone whose family is directly involved in ruining your life and the life of those before and after you?” “Eren, you weren’t the one who did that and it’s obvious to everyone how much you disapprove of the enslavement of Kyojin.” Armin said sadly. “Levi is extremely intelligent so I’m sure he’s very aware of this. I think he may like you more than you realize.” “I highly doubt it,” Eren shrugged. “He’s only opened up to me twice now and that’s because I caught him talking to you and Mikasa. He had no choice but to tell me things.” “Levi wouldn’t tell you something he didn’t want you to know, Eren.” Armin informed him. “Feline Kyojin- especially Caracals- are very good at being mysterious and keeping things to themselves. That’s why they’re the hardest to find and have the most bounty attached to them.” “I guess,” Eren relented. Maybe Armin was right. “I have a question for you though.” “Okay?” Armin prompted. “Did your tribe have any of the male bearers that Levi told me about? He said some Canine tribes had them.” “No, not my tribe.” Armin said. “Retrievers do not have the same population problem that Caracals do. We have up to twelve puppies a litter and most of them make it past puppyhood. Caracals and Feline Kyojin in general have smaller litters and higher mortality rate. Although, I did know a tribe with a male bearer.” “Really? Which one? What was he like?” Eren asked his friend excitedly. “Calm down,” Armin laughed at his friend. “It was a Wolf tribe. He was nice; I can’t remember his name though. He had two puppies with another wolf in the tribe and fathered another litter with a female. Both puppies made it to adulthood and one was male so I’m assuming that puppy was also a bearer since it’s hereditary.” “Is it common for male bearers to have their own children?” Eren asked. “Sure,” Armin nodded not missing the way Eren seemed to soak in his words when it related to Levi. “They want to pass the gene down. But no one knows if it can be passed down through mating with a female or if it’s only passed down when they mate with a male.” “So, is it common for them to seek out a male partner then?” “Yes, they want to pass the gene down.” “Are gay relationships common in Kyojin tribes?” Eren blushed but knew he could ask Armin the question. “Do you mean in general or only among male bearers?” Armin clarified. “In general,” Eren shrugged trying to appear nonchalant. “Sure, it’s fairly common.” Armin answered. “They may mate with a female just to contribute to the population but it’s not uncommon to see two men in a monogamous relationship. We do not hold the distaste for homosexual relationships that humans seem to. As long as they contribute once or twice, we could really care less with whom they’re mated.” “So, it’s possible that Levi could be gay?” Eren practically whispered, his blush becoming bright red. “Yes, he could be.” Armin struggled not to laugh. “But you can’t assume that just because he is able to carry children automatically means he’s gay, Eren.” “I know,” Eren groaned. He wasn’t stupid. “Are you gay, Eren?” Armin asked the big question not for himself but more for Eren’s sake. He knew that if he didn’t ask his friend that Eren might never consider the possibility that he may be gay or at least bisexual. The question hit Eren like a ton of bricks. He hadn’t ever considered the idea that he could be gay. He never really took much interest in women but he didn’t ever have much interest in anyone really. All he was surrounded with were posh, stuck up royals who thought the world owed them everything and they owed the world nothing. He couldn’t really stand any of them let alone fantasize about being with one of them. But the more he thought about it the more he realized that he could only get off when he thought about another man. Maybe he was gay after all. “I think I am,” Eren admitted. “I mean, I’ve never dated anyone but I do want to be with Levi and I’ve only ever jacked off to men.” “Okay, I really didn't need to know that last part, Eren.” Armin groaned. “You asked.” Eren shrugged and grinned at his friend. “Not for that,” Armin glared playfully at his friend. “So, what do I do?” “You should talk to Levi,” Armin told him. “Levi is a Feline Kyojin, Eren. He’s not going to announce his feelings to you. It’s not in their nature. It would take a lot of time for him to feel like he could do that. But, he’s also brutally honest so I’m sure if you asked him straight forward if he’s gay he’d probably tell you.” “You think so?” Eren asked. “Won’t that make things weird?” “Only if you make it weird.” Armin said. Knowing Eren, it would get weird. “Now, go! I have work to do and it’s already eight!” “Fine, I’ll see you later then?” Eren laughed as he was shooed out the door. “Yes,” Armin said as he shoved his friend into the hall. “And talk to Levi!” Eren had no idea how he was going to do that. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Chapter 10 “I’m gay!” Eren shouted at Levi later that night when they had both showered and were preparing to get into bed. He had his eyes screwed shut and his hands were clenched into fists at his side. As soon as the words left his mouth Armin’s warning echoed in his mind. “Way to go, Jaeger. You made things awkward again.” Eren thought to himself as he waited for Levi’s reply. “Congratulations?” Levi said, his voice conveying his confusion. Eren peaked one eye open to see Levi sitting cross-legged on top of his bed. He was holding his tail in front of his face, clearly in the middle of grooming it and he was shooting Eren a look of confusion. But, Eren did catch a glimmer of amusement in his normally stoic eyes. “I uh-“ Eren stammered. He had no idea of how to regain any sense of normalcy after shouting his newly discovered sexual preference at Levi. “Did you just recently realize this?” Levi asked him as he went back to licking his tail. “Uh, yeah,” Eren rubbed his neck as he crawled into his bed. “Earlier when I was with Armin, actually.” “So you fucked Armin?” Levi asked bluntly. “What?!” Eren shrieked causing Levi’s ears to go flat against his hear and Levi to glare at Eren for the high pitch. “Sorry. But ew! Armin is like my brother!” “Good,” Levi nodded. “Good?” Eren was officially confused. “If Erwin found out you and Armin were fucking he would not be pleased.” Levi told him. “How do you know that Erwin is Armin’s master?” “Armin told me,” Levi shrugged. “But congratulations on your new discovery.” “Thanks.” Eren laughed before blushing. “So, do you….are you into women?” “I’m not sure what that means, Eren.” Levi turned his bored gaze onto Eren. “Like, do you only have sex with women?” Eren asked. “Well, I’ve only taken women as mates before if that’s what you mean,” Levi told him. “I guess,” Eren said. He couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed. He knew there was a possibility that Levi was straight but he secretly hoped that Levi would be at least bisexual. It would’ve been better if he was gay but Eren wasn’t in the position to be picky. “What is wrong?” Levi sighed, picking up on Eren’s sour mood. “Nothing,” Eren lied. “You’re lying again,” Levi pointed a long finger at Eren’s now red ears. “I didn’t mean that you only bred with women when I asked you that question.” Eren admitted hesitantly. “What did you mean then?” Levi was not making this easy for him. Eren wasn’t entirely sure that Levi wasn’t secretly messing with Eren to see how worked up he could get him. “I was more asking if you preferred men or women.” Eren said quickly but Levi heard him. “You want to know if I like to take it up the ass.” Levi bluntly rephrased his question. “That’s not what meant!” Eren shouted. “Not entirely at least.” “I prefer cock if that’s what you’re wondering.” Levi told him before pulling his covers back and crawling into his bed. “You’re gay too?” Eren felt his heart lift with Levi’s albeit blunt statement. “Yes, I am,” Levi told him before turning out the light. “Welcome to the gay side, Eren. We’ve got cookies and rainbows and our asses whistle.” “Oh my God, Levi, what the fuck?” Eren laughed before closing his eyes and drifting to sleep. “But, thanks.” The next morning Eren was awoken by a shove to his shoulder. He tried to ignore it as he always does but instead found himself pulled onto his floor. “Hey!” He shouted in surprise glaring up at the figure in front of him. “What was that for?!” “You weren’t waking up,” Levi shrugged. “We agreed that I was going to train you today, remember?” “I remember, but does it have to be so early in the morning?” Eren moaned as he stood up from the ground and rubbed his now sore ass. “It’s nine,” Levi informed him. “So early,” Eren whined as he walked over to get the clothes that Levi had laid on his desk for him. “Get showered so you can eat before we train.” Levi sighed and began to put his bed together. “Isn’t it supposed to be bad for you to eat before you work out?” Eren asked. “Normally.” Levi said. “But I don’t want you fainting on me. As long as you don’t eat something heavy you’re fine.” “Oh.” Was all Eren said before going into the bathroom. He turned the water on warm and stepped into the shower when the mirrors began to fog up. He had every intention of letting himself become a human vegetable for a few minutes while he let the water run over him but his dick had other plans. Before Eren realized what was happening, his cock was at full attention and throbbing. Eren briefly debated trying to ignore it but after a moment he realized his boner was not going to go away on its own. Letting out a sigh of annoyance, he let his hand fall to his swollen cock. Letting out a quiet grunt while he let his hand gently stroke it, he picture a body below him. Eren imagined that the hand stroking his cock was not his own and groaned as his imaginary partner’s hand reached the head of his cock, dipping their finger into the slit. Before he realized it, his partner was sinking down to take the head into their mouth. He grunted and sped his hand up at the thoughts flooding his mind. He pictured weaving his hands in the dark hair below him, urging his partner on while simultaneously fucking their mouth. He came undone at the image of ice blue eyes staring up at him as they deep throated him. With a cry, Eren shot his cum on the shower wall. He sagged against the tiled floor of his shower and got his breathing under control before standing up and washing away the evidence of his imagination. He was drying off when he realized that his imaginary partner was in fact Levi. He had just jacked off to the thought of Levi giving him a blowjob. Shit. If Levi had heard any of Eren’s shower escapades, he didn’t show it. Instead he forced Eren to eat some oatmeal before practically herding him into the arenas, all while complaining that Eren took unnecessarily long showers. Eren was going to defend himself but when he realized that his only defense was the fact that he was jacking off, he decided to hold his tongue. Training with Levi was like nothing Eren had ever experienced before. Levi was quick to point out any flaws Eren had, and even quicker to insult him. Most people would be discouraged by Levi’s tough treatment but it only seemed to make Eren more determined to become better. They trained all day, only stopping to eat a small lunch and dinner. Levi taught Eren everything from a good stance to how to fake a kick by kicking over their head and then turning around and kicking his opponent in the side with his other foot. While Eren needed to take several breaks, Levi never seemed to be tired. “You’re like a superhero,” Eren huffed during one of his breaks. “I don’t even know what that is, Eren.” Levi told him as he waited for Eren to catch his breath. “It’s like someone who is super human. They never get tired and are invincible.” Eren explained. “I’m not invincible,” Levi pointed out. “No, but you can do all these cool moves and fight for hours on end and not get tired,” Eren pointed out. “Yes, but it’s what I’ve been doing my whole life,” Levi told him. “I’ve long since been conditioned to fighting for hours on end. Besides I’m not even a human so my body is much different than yours.” “It’s not fair!” Eren pouted up at Levi, which only made the raven roll his eyes at the display. “You are not getting any sympathy from me, Brat.” Levi scoffed at him. “Oh, come on, Levi!” Eren complained before pointing one finger and himself and continuing to pout. “Look how sad and pathetic I look!” “It won’t work,” Levi rolled his eyes again. “Besides, you aren’t even doing that bad.” “Was that a compliment?” Eren gaped up at the feline. “Take it as you will,” Was all Levi said back. “Oh my God you gave me a compliment! I should write this moment down so I never forget it!” Eren teased him. “Alright!” Levi clapped his hands together. “Break time is over! Back to work!” Eren let out a loud groan but resumed a fighting stance, determined to at least get one punch in on Levi this time. He didn’t. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Chapter 11 “Leviii~” Eren whined from his bed. “I think I’m dying!” “Shut up, you are not dying.” Levi rolled his eyes at the “man” that was current complaining loudly from his bed. A month had passed since the first time Levi had trained Eren and each time Levi trained him Eren learned something new. Levi just kept pulling metaphorical bunnies out of his metaphorical hat and when Eren thought he had ran out of bunnies, he pulled out a dove. Metaphorical doves of course; there are no real doves on Titan. Levi had been especially tough on Eren the night before though. He and Eren had sparred for close to six hours and Eren had the bruises to prove it. The worst part of it was the knowledge that Levi wasn’t really trying. If he wanted to, Levi could really inflict some major damage. Maybe even kill him; all with his bare hands. Eren could see why Caracal Kyojin were-are- feared by the other Kyojin on Titan. Eren was pleased by the fact that he was able to get a few hits in on Levi’s ribs yesterday. It was not easy but he had done it-which was saying a lot because Levi did not let Eren win just to boost his ego. Aside from training, he and Levi had also become closer. Levi was not longer hesitant to say how he felt around Eren, frequently calling him “brat” or “kid” when they were alone. He also was much more talkative. Eren learned that Levi was a neat freak by nature, he groomed himself after every meal and shower, and he had a special talent for making horrible shit jokes. Levi also divulged in passing once that in the wild, he and his other Caracals would often play and stalk each other before they would eat. He obviously couldn’t do that in the palace but the mental image of Levi stalking and tackling some other unsuspecting Kyojin made Eren almost losing his composure at one of his weekly meetings with his father and the other heads of departments. Eren probably wouldn’t stop him if he wanted to stalk a noble or two. Eren was very pleased that he and Levi had grown closer. But he never told Levi about his crush. In fact, he went out of his way to hide it. He avoided all topics about his or Levi’s past sex life and Levi’s ability to bear children. Levi was not as shy about those topics as Eren was. He would occasionally make jokes about Eren looking like he was about to “go into heat” or say something like “don’t go into heat now, Eren.” Eren never had much of a retort or witty comeback for him. So he just resorted to standing there and sputtering with wide eyes until Levi laughed at him. It was embarrassing at best. Meanwhile, Mikasa had learned about Eren’s crush and was pestering him daily about it. She had tried several times to get him to talk to Levi but Eren insisted on avoiding the topic all together. He had no idea why Armin and Mikasa were so damn insistent about him talking to Levi about something as stupid as a crush. “I don’t think I can walk,” Eren pouted from his bed. “You ruined me. I’m destroyed. R.I.P.” “You are fine, Brat. Get up before someone comes looking for you,” Levi rolled his eyes at Eren’s dramatic display of his death. “I may die though!” Eren persisted. “Get up, you’re going to be late for class and I will not be held responsible when Armin comes looking for you. Again.” Levi crossed his arms and glared at Eren. In the past month alone, Armin had come to see after Eren. Armin didn’t bother to ask Levi why he hadn’t woken Eren up earlier, or why Eren wasn’t out of bed, he just went straight to making Eren’s life miserable until Eren finally surrendered and woke up. “I’ll tell him you beat me up,” Eren said. “He knows how strong you are. He’ll believe me.” “Oh please, Armin is smarter than you apparently give him credit for,” Levi rolled his eyes at the threat Eren was trying to make. When it was apparent that Eren was in fact not going to move Levi let out a long, loud sigh before saying, “You leave me no choice then.” “What does that me-AH!” Eren let out a-manly-cry of surprise when Levi reached down and picked Eren up bridal style and proceeded to carry him across the room towards the bathroom. “Levi, put me down!” “You wouldn’t get up so I had no choice,” Levi said. A month ago, Eren would’ve thought Levi was being serious but after getting to know Levi better he could recognize the amusement in his voice and the small glint in his icy blue eyes as he deposited Eren on the bathroom floor. “Now, get showered.” “I don’t have clothes!” Eren pointed out as he stood up. A moment later his shirt, pants, and underwear smacked him dead in the face. “Thank you!” “Shower! Now!” Was Levi’s only response before he slammed the bathroom door shut. “Don’t make me come in there to retrieve your naked ass!” “You’d like to see my naked ass!” Eren shouted back, not fully thinking about the words he just said, as he stripped his pajamas off. “Too flat for my tastes,” Levi shouted. “You have five minutes. Shower! NOW!”Eren laughed but obeyed. As much as he hated to admit, Levi was right. He hated going to class but if he missed another class his parents would rip him a new asshole. His dad would probably try to blame Levi and Eren didn’t want that either. Eren briefly entertained the idea of masturbating to his new favorite fantasy of Levi bent over his bed while he plowed his ass, but decided against it. He didn’t want to risk Levi interrupting him if he took too long- which he probably would if he decided that he was going to enforce his five minute timeline. So he settled for taking a cold shower and attempting to tame his wild hair. “Fucking finally,” Levi sighed when Eren finally emerged from his bathroom-probably more than five minutes later. “Did you take a long enough dump in there?” “Gotta stay regular!” Eren shot Levi a smile and two thumbs up just because he could. Levi huffed a small laugh before dragging him to the door. “Let’s get going then,” Levi said before shoving him out the door and closing it behind them. Classes were boring as ever. Eren barely paid attention anymore, much more interested in the Kyojin behind him. Besides, Levi paid enough attention for the two of them anyway so he could just help him with his homework. Instead, Eren thought about all he had learned about Levi; his two kids, his relation to Mikasa, how he was the most feared hunter. But Eren couldn’t help but wonder if something was missing from the stories Levi told him. He had noticed over the past few weeks that when Levi was present the other Kyojin acted differently. The usually funny and loud Connie and Sasha became quiet and attentive, Ymir didn’t try to back sass him, Bert straight up avoided him like the plague (which Eren didn’t know what that was but Levi told him that it was a major human event and he needed to pay attention in class more). But if it was just Eren around then the Kyojin acted as they always had. He wondered if it had anything to do with how Levi held himself or the way he observed everything that was happening around him. Regardless, it just didn’t sit well with him. Which is how he found himself back in Armin’s room laying on his bed. “I don’t understand, Armin! Whenever he’s around everyone is just…different.” Eren ranted while he laid his back waving his hands around in the air as he talked. “Well, Levi does have a certain aura to him,” Armin offered. “No, it’s more than that!” Eren sat up and looked at his friend. “There’s something that everyone is keeping from me.” “Eren, do you know how hard that would be? Aside from the fact that you are the prince, a lot of our friends are loud mouths who can’t keep a secret.” Armin pointed out. “Yeah, that’s why it’s weird!” Eren threw his hands out in a gesture that Armin read as agreement. “I think you’re just imagining things, Eren.” Armin said. “I’m not imagining things!” Eren scowled. “You really don’t want to talk about this. You know what they’re keeping from me!” “So now I’m in on this conspiracy too?” Armin raised his eyebrows at Eren’s accusation. “Apparently!” Eren pointed his finger at Armin. “You really want to brush this off and usually you talk me through stuff.” “That’s because this is stupid, Eren. You have no real evidence that they’re keeping something from you. Why would I walk you through that?” Armin asked a little too defensively for Eren’s tastes. “I already told you; everyone is acting funny around Levi.” “He’s scary, Eren! He’s an apex predator with a reputation. People are going to be uneasy around him!” “He’s technically a slave just like them! Why would they be afraid of him if they’re all in the same position?” Eren countered. “Because sometimes you can’t just easily get over something like that. You spend your whole life fearing someone only to end up working with them; you’re still going to be afraid of them.” Armin tried to reason. “It’s called instincts, Eren. You’re born with them. You can’t just suppress them willy-nilly. It’s like your fear of heights. Just because you aren’t going to fling yourself willingly off a cliff doesn’t mean they don’t scare you. It’s called self preservation and you don’t have much of it.” “Armin, you aren’t telling me something.” Eren’s voice dropped an octave. It wasn’t a voice he used often but Mikasa called it his “Princely Voice” because he used it when dealing with rude or stubborn royals who wouldn’t listen to him. “Don’t use that voice on me!” Armin’s eyes widened. “Tell me what everyone is hiding from me, Armin.” Eren demanded. “Look, just ask Levi yourself. He’ll tell you if you don’t believe me.” Armin relented. “So you do admit there’s something you guys are hiding!” Eren shouted. “No I am not admitting anything, Eren. Even if I was-which I’m not saying I am-I wouldn’t even be able to tell you what. You have to get that information from Levi.” Armin told him. “Why is it such a big deal?” Eren tried to get Armin to tell him. “No, Eren, I can’t tell you. That’s Levi’s story to tell.” Armin stayed firm. “Fine, I’ll ask Levi then.” Eren sighed. “It better be something cool.” “It’s…something.” Armin admitted. “Hey, Levi?” Eren asked tentatively later that night. “Hey, Eren?” Levi jokingly replied from his bed where he was reading some book that was written in characters he couldn’t understand. Eren assumed it was the language of the Kyojin. “I’ve got a question.” Eren said, rolling over onto his side to face Levi and propping his chin on his arm. “So I’ve gathered.” Levi continued to read but after a moment of silence he let out a sigh and looked at Eren. “Go ahead and ask, Brat. You won’t be satisfied until you do.” “So, I’ve noticed something interesting lately,” Eren started. “Okay?” Levi gave him a look that Eren understood as Levi’s way of trying to get Eren to continue his thoughts. “I noticed that whenever we’re around other Kyojin they act differently than they do when it’s just me,” Eren finally said. “I wasn’t sure why that was.” “Probably because I have a reputation.” Levi shrugged and looked back at his book but Eren could see Levi looking at him out of the corner of his eye. “No, Armin already tried that bullshit on me but this is different.” Eren persisted with his questioning. “It’s almost like how regular people react to me when I leave the castle.” “You really aren’t going to let this go, are you?” Levi sighed heavily. “No, because there’s something wrong.” Eren frowned at the Kyojin. “I guess it can’t be helped,” Levi closed his book and laid it down on the table next to his bed. “Now you’re just freaking me out.” Eren let out a shaky chuckle. Levi was acting incredibly serious for something he was trying to blow of seconds earlier. “Eren, I wasn’t lying to you when I told you that I had-have- a reputation that precedes me.” Levi said and turned to look at Eren dead on. “Okay? What kind of reputation do you have exactly, Levi?” Eren asked. “Eren, I’m a prince.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Chapter 12 “Eren, I’m a prince.” Levi admitted. There was a long pause during which Eren just blinked owlishly at Levi. It took Eren’s brain a longer than normal moment to catch up with what Levi had just told him. Instead of freaking out like Levi had anticipated, Eren let out a loud hoot of laughter. “Oh my God, Levi, I thought you just said you were a prince!” Eren wheezed. “I did.” Levi deadpanned. “I think this is the funniest joke you’ve ever told,” Eren chuckled. But his chuckles died down after a moment of Levi just staring at Eren. When Eren realized that Levi was not in fact joking he stopped laughing. “Oh my God, you’re being serious!” “Took you long enough,” Levi said under his breath. “Yes, I’m being serious. Why would I joke around about that?” “I didn’t know Kyojin had princes!” Eren nearly shouted. “It’s a well kept secret?” Levi shrugged. He didn’t really have an answer to give for that one. He supposed no one was truly sworn to secrecy but it was an unspoken rule that you don’t tell humans about the monarchy. “Yeah, no shit!” Eren sat straight up in his bed. “It makes sense though. You know how to read and write, you’re well educated, well spoken, you hold yourself differently than most people and have impeccable manners. How did I not see this?!” “Probably because you’re used to it,” Levi shrugged. “Everyone here is exactly how you described me. The only difference is that those people are human. You view Kyojin and humans as being on the same level so you never really put two-and-two together.” “Who else knows that you’re a prince?” Eren asked. “Aside from every Kyojin here?” Levi half joked but when he got no response from Eren he continued, “Not many humans. I’d say next to none. No one pays much attention to me unless you’re around. I think your mother has at least a suspicion. She hinted at it when we had dinner together that first night.” “She never mentioned anything to me…”Eren frowned thinking about his mother knowing but never saying anything to him. “She probably figured it wasn’t that big of a deal,” Levi said. “It’s a huge deal though! You’re a prince, Levi!” Eren said. “Well, in case you have yet to notice, I’m not much of a prince anymore. I wasn’t really a prince anyway.” Levi shrugged. “How’s that?” “My dad passed away a while ago during a fight with the damn Leopards. He got a wound on his leg that never healed and caused a fever and infection which ended up being fatal. I took over so I guess that makes me king?” Levi pondered. “THAT’S EVEN WORSE!” Eren shouted. “How is that worse?” Levi glared at Eren for shouting when he knew Levi had sensitive hearing. “I literally have the King of the Kyojin living with me as a presumed sex slave.” Eren pointed out. “In your defense, you didn’t know.” Levi joked. “This isn’t a joke, Levi.” Eren glared at the Kyojin. How could he be acting like this was all a big joke? “Well, what’s done is done, Kid.” Levi shrugged. “You didn’t know, and now here I am in some fucked up twist of fate.” “It’s been my goal to end the enslavement of Kyojin and help mend the tensions between us but I can’t do that if my ‘sex slave’ is their fucking king.” Eren growled. “So, yeah, it’s a big fucking deal to me.” “Eren, that’s a long ways off,” Levi’s hair bristled in irritation and in response to Eren’s hostile tone. “We can cross that bridge when we get to it.” “Levi, you are a fucking king,” Eren stood up from his bed. “We need to cross that bridge now.” “At ten thirty at night?” “YES!” Eren shouted. “This is not some bomb you get to drop, hope I’m okay with, and then roll over and go to bed like nothing happened. This is a big fucking deal and we need to figure something out now.” “There’s nothing to figure out, Eren.” Levi rose to stand chest-to-chest with the Prince. He would not be intimidated by some child. “I was captured and now I am here with you. I can’t be set free, you weren’t the one who captured me and I have no other choice that to act as your servant until something changes. What do you want me to say, Eren? That it’s okay that I was captured? That I’m okay with being here? That I don’t want to see my family? That I don’t miss being free?” “No, I don’t want you to say any of that because you’d be lying! I don’t want you to lie to me, Levi!” Eren’s eyes showed his hurt at Levi’s words but he remained firm in his stance. “I want you to be straight with me and to help me figure out what I can do! I can’t keep the King of the Kyojin captive!” “You don’t have much of a choice, do you?” Levi said bitterly. “We can figure something out!” Eren insisted. “I don’t want you to be away from your family and I can’t keep you here like this. It’s not what your were supposed to be doing.” “Oh, so now it’s not okay because you know I’m a king? If I wasn’t a king then it would be okay?” Levi spat. “It was never okay to begin with and you know that!” Eren scowled at Levi. “You need to be back with your people, Levi. They must be a mess without you.” “They have my children. One of them has to have already taken my place.” Levi pointed out. “But still!” “Look, I know you want to save the world Eren but you’re just a kid and you don’t have any power yet so can we just deal with all of this later, please?” Levi frowned. “I don’t want to discuss this anymore. I’m tired.” “I do have some power, Levi. It’s limited but I have it!” Eren pointed out. “You can’t just keep ignoring all the issues we are facing just because it’s inconvenient for you.” “Listen, Brat,” Levi hissed in Eren’s face and grabbed his nightshirt. Their faces were so close now that their noses were nearly touching. “Let’s get a few things straight; I am not ignoring anything. I’m very aware of the situation I am in. Do you think this is not inconvenient for me? It’s way more than just inconvenient.” “You sure are acting like it. You just ignore everything that you don’t want to deal with. This is not the only thing!” Eren growled in anger. “This is the only problem! Unless there’s something else you want to add on.” Levi spat back. “Yeah, I do actually,” Eren’s eyes lit up with determination. It was so startling that Levi almost let him go. “I think we should discuss this.” As soon as the words left Eren’s mouth, Eren slotted their lips together. It wasn’t how Eren imagined their first kiss to go but then again, Eren thought they’d be mutually in love by that point. It was just lips on lips and it lasted for maybe three seconds before Levi whipped his head back and let go of Eren’s shirt. “Levi, I-“ Eren started as soon as he had realized what he had just done. “I gotta get out of here,” Levi said quietly before he spun around on his heels and ran out the door leaving Eren in an empty room to think about what he had just done. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Chapter 13 Levi did not come back to the room that night. Eren waited up hoping that he would be awake when Levi returned so he could apologize, but he ended up passing out at about five in the morning. Without Levi to wake him up, Eren woke at about eleven that morning to a cold and empty bedroom. It was evident that Levi had not come back while Eren was asleep since Levi’s bed remained unmade and Eren’s clothes were not set on top of his desk like they normally were. Eren laid in bed thinking of what happened and their argument for another half hour before he forced himself to take a shower. The shower didn’t help much to calm him down but at least he was clean. Eren trudged his way to the kitchen in search of food. While he was there he asked the girls (and Connie) if they had seen Levi. All of them told him that they had not seen Levi that day and Eren found himself more disappointed that he had wanted to admit. Eventually, he found his way to Erwin’s office where he knew he’d find Armin. He was right of course. Erwin was out of his office at some meeting with Eren’s father which left him and Armin alone at least for a few hours. Upon entering the office, Eren found Armin filing documents and Eren almost scoffed at how much of a receptionist his friend was. “Eren? What are you doing here?” Armin asked his friend when he saw him enter the office. “I fucked up,” Eren said and flopped in one of the chairs in Erwin’s office. “You seem to be doing that a lot lately.” Armin sighed and turned around to completely face the moping prince. “What’d you do this time?” “Who says it was my fault?” Eren asked his friend. Armin only shot him a look. “Alright, it was my fault.” “What’d you do?” Armin asked again. “Levi and I got into a fight.” Eren said. “Over what?” Armin asked surprise obvious on his face. “I asked him why everyone acts weird around him and he told me who he was.” Eren’s sentence made Armin’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head with surprise. “He actually told you?” Armin said. “Yeah,” Eren nodded. “He’s the King of the Kyojin.” “King?” Armin frowned. “I didn’t know his father had died. When I was captured, he was still just a prince.” “’Just a prince’” Eren scoffed at Armin’s choice of words. “Well, his dad died at some point, which makes him the fucking King. How could no one bother to tell me this?” “We all want to keep the monarchy from humans if we can, Eren.” Armin said sadly and took a seat next to his friend. “If the humans knew we had a monarchy everything would go to shit. They’d become even more relentless than they already are now.” “I guess you’re right,” Eren sighed. “I know I’m right.” Armin said. “If humans were to find out who Levi was, they’d hunt his children and tribe down and slaughter them all. Without our King we wouldn’t know what to do. Levi and his father have tried their best to keep us as safe as they can. It’s impossible to save everyone but they did their best.” “How’d they save you guys?” Eren asked. He didn’t know that they went around saving other Kyojin. “They would use intel they gathered from moles to warn tribes when the military would get close. It saved countless lives, Eren. Unfortunately it seems that someone told the military where Levi’s tribe had hidden themselves.” “So Levi has a mole in here somewhere?” Eren asked. “He has a lot of them actually,” Armin admitted hesitantly. “They’ve made a lot of allies over the years and have used them to their advantage.” “But wait,” Eren said suddenly remembering a story Levi told him. “What about the tribe that tried to kill his? Why would they do that if he’s the King? Wouldn't that be counter productive?” “For power, obviously.” Armin told him. “The tribe was after power. If they killed Levi’s tribe then they could take over the monarchy and rule for themselves. It didn’t and hasn’t worked, fortunately. If anything, it solidified just how powerful Levi’s clan truly is. It helped us realize that there were facts to the stories we were told as children.” “What am I going to do, Armin?” Eren whined thinking about how Levi hadn’t returned. “I have your King enslaved right now and I want to make peace with the Kyojin.” “Maybe you can team up with Levi to do that.” Armin suggested. “He is the King and he is from the most powerful tribe. He could probably organize something.” “Kind of like a coup?” Eren suggested. “I suppose,” Armin said thinking. Eren could see the gears turning in Armin’s scheming little head of his as he thought through the idea of a coup. “I mean, it would get rid of the ‘old power’ and put you in power. With you in power you could release us as a sign of goodwill. You already have a good relationship with Levi and since he is the acting King, he could announce a peace treaty with you. If he does that then all Kyojin have no choice but to follow his orders. “This could work, Eren. But we would need a lot of help and it would take a lot of planning.” Armin told his friend. “You’re the best strategist I know, Armin.” Eren told his friend. “If anyone could think of a way to pull this off it’s you. Although, Levi and my relationship isn’t exactly that great right now.” “What do you mean, Eren?” Armin looked at his friend in trepidation. “You guys had a small fight. You can just talk it out and get over it like adults.” “See, that’s the thing,” Eren gave an awkward laugh. “I may or may not have kissed him too.” “You kissed him?!” Armin screeched. “Possibly…” “Was this before or after you guys argued about him being a king?” Armin asked warily. “Uh…after?” Eren gave a shaky smile. “I kissed him and then he left and never came back.” “Eren, you have to find him and apologize,” Armin sighed. “I know, but I can’t find him.” Eren said. “I’ve looked everywhere and no one has seen him today.” “I may know where he is.” Armin said after a moment. “Really?!” Eren sprung out of his chair. “Where is he?” “Follow me,” Armin said standing up. “I need to be there because you clearly keep fucking up and you can’t fuck up this apology too.” “Ouch.” Eren pretended to be hurt, even going as far as to pretend that Armin stabbed him in the heart. “Your words wound me.” “Just come on,” Armin snorted and led him out of the office in search of Levi. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Chapter 14 “Armin, what are we doing here?” Eren glanced around while following his friend. He knew this wing of the castle, sure. He had been here many times especially during his childhood and early teenage years. Any time he and Jean would get into a fight their instructors usually ended up having to send both boys to the medical wing so Hanji could patch them up before sending them on their way. But what would Levi be doing here? He wasn’t hurt or in need of any medical assistance. “I have a feeling Levi is here,” Armin shrugged but didn’t stop walking. “Are you sure? This is the medical wing.” Eren looked at his friend quizzically. “Yes, he’s visiting an old friend of his.” “An old friend? Here?” Eren thought and thought about who Levi could possibly be friends with. The medical wing was, for the most part, void of Kyojin. Most of the people in the medical wing had training which was something that the Kyojin were not typically offered. A few moments later Eren and Armin arrived in front of a familiar door. It wasn’t anything special, just a dark wooden door but Eren knew this door all too well. “Why are we at Hanji’s?” Eren turned to his friend but he just ignored him and knocked on the door. “Armin, what is going on?” Before Armin could answer his question the door swung open causing both Eren and Armin to startle. “Armin!” Hanji’s unmistakable (and loud) voice shrieked through the halls. “How are you, dear?” “I’m fine, Hanji.” Armin said before looking at Eren. Hanji followed his eyes to Eren. “Eren!” She said jubilantly. “What are you doing here? Did you get hurt again? Is that why Armin brought you here? I’ll go get my stuff to patch you up.” “Actually,” Armin said quickly before Hanji could disappear into her room. “We were wondering if Levi was here.” “Levi?” Hanji said in a slightly higher voice than normal. “What makes you think he’d be here? Shouldn’t he be with Eren?” “Hanji,” Armin said with a serious voice. “I know he’s here. He ran away last night and never came back.” “Hoh?” She raised her eyebrows but her eyes were slightly wider than usual leading Eren to believe that she was hiding something. “He’s not with Erwin,” Armin continued. “Which means that he has to be here. There’s nowhere else that he could possibly be.” Armin and Hanji had a silent stare off. Neither of them said a single word, which made Eren feel just a wee bit uncomfortable, but they did narrow their eyes a few times at each other. Finally, after a minute of staring, Armin let out a low growl that made both Eren and Hanji startle a little. “Alright. You got me.” Hanji sighed. “He’s in one of the rooms I check patients in. I’ll take you to him.” “Thank you!” Armin said in his normal voice. It sort of creeped Eren out how quickly he went from feral-like dog to normal Armin. It was also a reminder not to fuck with Armin. They walked further down the hall before they came to one of the rooms that Hanji kept patients in. She motioned for Eren to stand a little to the side, which would keep him behind the door when it opened, effectively blocking him from view. She knocked once before throwing open the door and striding confidently inside the room. “Oi!” Eren heard Levi shout. “What the fuck are you doing, Shitty Glasses!” “Coming to see my favorite grump of course!” Hanji replied in her normal cheery voice. “Would it kill you to wait after you knocked?” Levi complained. Eren had never heard Levi talk this way which further reminded him how much further he had to go in order to fully gain Levi’s trust. It also made him feel a little jealous that he was more comfortable with Hanji than he was with Eren. “Oh, it’s nothing I’ve never seen before.” She laughed. “Nothing to be embarrassed about.” “That’s really not the fucking point, Four Eyes.” Levi sighed, clearly not amused by her antics. “Why are you giving me a weirder than normal look?” “Well, you have some visitors,” Hanji started off with. “Who?” Levi asked carefully. “Well, Armin is here,” Hanji said slowly before adding, “And he brought Eren along with him.” “Fucking shit!” Levi huffed. “He’s here right now?” “He’s outside the door actually,” Hanji admitted. “I’m pretty sure he can hear every word we’re saying.”There was a long pause in which Eren didn’t think he even breathed before Levi said, “Might as well come in then, Brat.” Eren rounded the door carefully. Even though the Kyojin had let him in he still felt like he didn’t want to approach him too quickly. He almost laughed to himself because he realized he was acting like he was approaching a scared or angry cat. “Hey Levi,” Eren said awkwardly as soon as he was in the room. Levi was standing opposite of him; his normal impassive face on but his stiffly flickering tail gave away his obvious irritation. His black ears were pulled flat to his head which was another sign Eren had learned to look for when Levi was angry. “What are you doing here?” Levi glared at him not wasting anytime on idle chit-chat. “I think I’ll leave you two alone to work whatever it is that’s going on out.” Hanji said quickly before rushing out of the room and closing the door. “Well, I guess it’s just us.” Eren laughed awkwardly. “Get on with it, Eren.” Levi said stiffly. “I wanted to apologize. I shouldn’t have done that, it was wrong.” Eren said point-blank. “I never wanted to argue with you like that and I certainly didn’t want you to find out I liked you in that way either.” “What do you mean you ‘like me that way’?” Levi asked him with narrowed eyes. “I have deeper feelings than just friends, Levi.” Eren admitted. “I wasn’t sure I was even going to tell you because I didn’t think you’d reciprocate them.” “You don’t mean that.” Levi said. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Eren asked with wide eyes. He was ready to face the very real possibility that Levi didn’t feel the same way towards Eren that he felt towards Levi but he sure as hell wasn’t expecting Levi to accuse him of not meaning how he felt. “I mean,” Levi continued. “That you don’t actually like me. Sure, you think you may like me but that’s just peer pressure.” “You think I got peer pressured into liking you?” Eren asked in disbelief. “Yes,” Levi nodded. “Like Reverse Stockholm Syndrome. You grew to have what you think are romantic feelings for me because that’s what is expected. You’re misinterpreting you feelings of pity for my situation into romantic, puppy love.” “I can assure you that’s not what this is, Levi!” Eren was shocked that Levi would even suggest such a preposterous idea! “If I had Reverse Stockholm Syndrome I would’ve been romantically involved with Armin or Mikasa long before you arrived!” “You didn’t live with them like you do me!” Levi countered. “I used to crawl into bed with them at night as a kid!” Eren nearly shouted in exasperation. “Look, I know that this whole thing is uncomfortable; I get that. But please don’t tell me how I do or don’t feel!” “I just don’t want you to get hurt when you realize what your feelings really are, Eren.” Levi said quietly. His tail had stopped swaying and was now hanging limp behind him and his ears were sticking out to the sides. “Why are you acting like you’re afraid that I may be in love with you?” Eren asked finally realizing why Levi was so desperate to avoid the conversation and Eren’s feelings. “Levi, do you also have feelings for me?” “That has nothing to do with this-“ Levi began but Eren cut him off before he could finish. “That has everything to do with this!” “Eren, how I feel doesn’t matter,” Levi said sadly. “I am just your slave. Nothing more. I can’t be what you want me to be.” “And pray tell what would that be?” Eren crossed his arms in front of his chest. “You want a mate,” Levi said straightforward. “You want someone who you can spend your life with. Someone who, when you become king, can rule along side you. But I can’t do that, Eren. I am a slave. You may have forgotten that nor do you care but others do care and they will do everything they can to prevent me from ruling with you.” “I won’t let that happen to us, Levi.” Eren sighed and walked over to the obviously distressed Kyojin. “I decide my own fate. I don’t have to let others decide it for me. If I want you to rule next to me then that’s what you’ll do. Anyone who says otherwise will be taken care of.” “Eren,” Levi looked up at the tall burnet. “You can’t do that. Your father will chose a woman for you who can give you a family, a partner and a friend. You two will rule together and eventually die together. I will just be in the background.” “No Levi,” Eren sighed sadly and took the Kyojin in his arms. At first Levi tried to fight him but when it became apparent that Eren wasn’t going anywhere, he allowed himself to relax into the hug. “That won’t happen because my dad won’t be able to get to that point.” “What are you talking about, Eren?” Levi breathed into Eren’s shoulder. “You’re acting like your father isn’t going to be in power for much longer.” When Eren remained silent Levi pulled away slightly to give the man an accusing look. “Eren, what stupid idea do you have floating in that head of yours?” Levi frowned. “It’s not a stupid idea,” Eren pouted. “Armin came up with it.” “What do you two have planned?” Levi demanded. “We’re planning a coup d’état.” Eren said reluctantly. He knew that Levi wasn’t going to like the idea but he couldn’t keep it a secret. “Eren, that’s a fucking awful idea!” Levi scolded. “How the hell do you think you’re going to pull this off? In case you haven’t noticed, your father has an entire army at his disposal and several other royals on his side. You don’t have control over the army yet.” “No,” Eren said slowly. “But I do have the support of all the Kyojin in the castle and some of the army that I train with.” “That’s still not going to be enough, Eren.” Levi pointed out. “Well, maybe you could help us.” Eren suggested. “I am not going to be enough, either.” Levi rolled his eyes. “I’m good but I am not good enough to keep that sinking ship afloat.” “That’s not what I meant,” Eren said. “You’re The Kyojin King.” “Yes, and your point is?” Levi drawled. “You command the Kyojin,” Eren pointed out. “You can get them to help us.” “Eren, even if I could get ahold of them and somehow manage to coordinate that, asking them to fight with us against the King’s army would be like sending them into a trap.” Levi reminded him. “But, what if we had enough man power to over throw them?” Eren said. “Your tribe alone is incredibly powerful. Levi, it took over half the army to take on just you. Imagine what all over the remaining Kyojin could do!” “And how exactly do you expect me to get ahold of my tribe?” Levi asked. “They aren’t exactly easy to find. And even if someone did find them, the chances of them getting out are incredibly slim.” “Not if we sent a messenger,” Eren mused. “Oh? And who exactly do you think is going to be able to slip past security and get to my people without raising any alarms?” Levi challenged. “Another Kyojin of course.” Eren shrugged. “Who? No Kyojin are able to get past your guards.” Levi pointed out. “Well, I can think of someone who can,” Eren smiled maniacally at Levi. “Who?” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Chapter 15 “And pray tell, how do you think I’m going to be able to pull this off?” A monotone voice that rivals Levi’s asked the man in front of her. “’Cause you’re you, Annie.” Eren whined to his friend. After their discussion slash make up, Eren had promptly headed towards the maid’s quarters, Levi in tow of course. When they had arrived, Eren suggested that Levi wait outside unless Eren called to him explaining that Annie was very private and if she saw Levi, he couldn’t guarantee that she’d even entertain the idea. At least he knew she’d entertain the idea if Eren was alone. It was proving to be a lot more difficult than Eren had expected, however. Annie was not someone you could just coerce into doing something she didn’t want to do. Annie was as strong as she was stoic-and she was very stoic. She was a skilled fighter and was a knight’s assistant but after an injury to the arm about four weeks ago, she wasn’t able to train with her squad and was forced to help the maids until she was able to fight with the knights again. Eren had grown up knowing Annie and often looked to here for tips when he was sparring. She always landed him flat on his ass, but that never deterred him and he knew that she didn’t aim to hurt him. She was Mikasa’s closest friend besides Armin and himself which made convincing her to do something for Mikasa’s benefit a little easier. However, that route proved to be in vain and he was forced to beg. Some may even say he was groveling. “You can slip through their grasps like no one I’ve ever seen before,” Eren pointed out. “Just because I can doesn’t mean it's a good idea.” Annie sighed. “Look, this isn’t something I’d ask you to do if I had someone else I trusted that could pull this off.” Eren sighed realizing he wasn’t getting very far with any of his previous tactics.“This is a bad idea, Eren.” Annie said. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do but I can tell that this is a bad idea.” It was then that the door to the maid’s closet opened and Levi strode inside. Upon seeing the other Kyojin, Annie’s eyes widened slightly. “Hello, Annie.” Levi said. Eren had never seen Levi hold himself in the way he was now. Sure, Levi had a certain distinguished aura to him and he never backed down nor did he fully submit to anyone, but he had never looked like this. Levi’s ears were held straight up, his face impassive as always but his chin was held high, his shoulders rolled back and his back completely straight. Levi’s tail was not swaying gently side to side, as it typically was when he was at ease. No, his tail was still but instead of hanging limp, it was curled slightly so it was held straight up. Eren could mentally picture a crown sitting on the top of his head. Levi looked distinguished. “No,” Eren corrected himself mentally, “He looks like a king.” “Sir,” Annie all but whispered. It was obvious that she was not expecting to see her king here. “I heard rumors that you were here but I didn’t believe them.” “Unfortunately these rumors are true,” Levi said in a voice that commanded attention. Eren knew that voice, he had used it before, as had his mother and father. He was usually immune to it since he had heard it used so much but he found that even he was listening keenly to every little word Levi said. “I am Eren’s slave now. But that is not why I am here. I need your help, Leonhart.” “Eren told me that he needed me to deliver some message to someone for him but didn’t specify who.” Annie told Levi. “He’s trying to remain as discrete as he possibly can,” Levi informed the blonde in front of him. “But both he and I need your help delivering the message.” “Whom is supposed to receive the message, Sir?” Annie asked. It was almost unnerving to see someone as strong and impassive as Annie become putty in Levi’s hands. Levi glanced around the closet for a moment before deciding that it was best to switch into the language of the Kyojin. It was better to speak in a language humans couldn’t understand to avoid someone overhearing their plans and telling the king. He knew his fellow Kyojin wouldn’t rat them out, especially because he was giving the orders. “I need you to deliver a letter I will write to the Caracal Tribe,” Levi told her. “Sir!” Annie frowned. “They are nearly impossible to find unless they want to be found. If you were taken from them, then I hardly think they’ll want to be found even by fellow Kyojin.” “I know where they are,” Levi told her. “If I tell you where to find them and what to say when you do, then they will listen.” “Are you sure? I’m sure they are at unease.” Annie said. “Especially if the Leopards have caught wind of your capture.” “I know what the Leopards will do if they find out and I know how they think. That’s why I need you to go as quickly and as swiftly as possible. Do you understand?” Levi hardened his gaze, he knew Annie would notice the change in his eyes and understand what he was doing. He didn’t do this often, but he felt it was necessary. Levi knew she saw what he was doing when Annie went completely stiff in front of him. “Yes,” Annie said after a moment. “I will go as soon as you give me the letter, Sir.” “Thank you.” Levi said before turning back to Eren and speaking in the human language again. “I’ve taken care of it. We need to get out of here before we cause too much suspicion. Two Kyojin and the Prince hanging out in a closet is not exactly a normal thing.” “Agreed,” Eren nodded and followed Levi out of the closet and into the hall, sparing one last glance at Annie who just nodded to him. “So what was that all about?” Eren asked as soon as they were safely in his room. “That was me convincing Annie to take the letter to my tribe.” Levi said plainly. “Okay, well I got that much.” Eren rolled his eyes. “So then why’d you ask?” “Because I’ve never seen Annie act like that and I’ve known her most of my life.” Eren told the Kyojin as he sat on his bed. Levi had just taken a seat at Eren’s desk and began rummaging (neatly) through the drawers in search of paper and a pen. “Well that may be due to the fact that I’m her king.” Levi suggested, finding what he was looking for. “Maybe,” Eren shrugged. “But what was that at the end? Whatever you did, it freaked her out and nothing freaks Annie out.” “I’m afraid I have no idea what you’re talking about, Kid.” Levi said. “The glaring thing,” Eren told him. “You know, when you glared at her she went totally board stiff and then agreed to help us. Well, I didn’t understand a word that you said but I’m assuming that’s what she did.” “She did agree to help us,” Levi confirmed. “All I did was glare at her.” “You did something more than that.” Eren scrunched his nose up. He had a feeling that Levi was avoiding telling him something. “What aren’t you telling me, Levi?” “Why do you assume that I'm keeping something from you?” Levi turned around to face Eren. “Because you’re avoiding my questions and giving me cryptic as fuck answers. Why can’t you just tell me straight up what you did?” Eren pointed out, returning the look that Levi was shooting him. “Fine,” Levi finally surrendered, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. “So you are hiding something then!” Eren crossed his arms over his chest. “I thought we agreed not to keep secrets, Levi.” “We did, we did.” Levi placated the man in front of him. “So what did you do?” Eren asked again hoping Levi would give him a real answer this time. “So, remember how I told you about the two felines that broke apart?” Levi asked. “Yeah,” Eren nodded recalling the story Levi had told him. “Well, along with being able to bear kittens, direct descendants of the original Caracal inherited another gift that no other bloodline possesses. We have the ability to see if someone is being honest with us along with the ability to see if his or her intentions are pure. This allows us to be able to govern our people based off of the input of others without being deceived. It is something only my bloodline possesses.” Levi told Eren. There was a long pause in which Eren processed the information Levi had just told him before Eren spoke. “So you’re telling me that you’re basically a walking bullshit detector?” Eren asked. “Well, I’d put it a little more eloquently than that but the sediment is the same so yes,” Levi snorted. “That’s sick as fuck!” Eren grinned at the Kyojin. “If only I could do that!” “You don’t need to have magical powers in order to tell if someone is bullshitting you, Eren.” Levi rolled his eyes. “You already do that.” “Yeah, but it’s still hella cool.” Eren shrugged. “So, you have been able to see if I was lying to you or not this whole time?” “Well, I can turn it off and on but yes.” Levi smirked at Eren’s excitement over something he thought of as trivial. “So, did you see my intentions the first time we met back at the slave house?” Eren asked. “Yes, I used it then.” Levi admitted. “I was curious to see what your true intentions were. That’s the only reason I allowed you to come so close to me while I was caged like that.” “And when I saw you in my room that night?” Eren pressed. “I used it again.” Levi said. “I was curious to see if your intentions would shift after getting me to the castle and having me in alone in your room. I wanted to know if they would remain innocent and pure or if they would be clouded over with lust and power.” “I’m assuming you realized my intentions were nothing but pure then,” Eren said. “Yes, that is the only reason I conversed with you that evening.” Levi told him. “If they were not pure then I would’ve stayed silent.” “I’m glad you didn’t.” Eren smiled softly at the Kyojin. “But, why didn’t you use it last night then? If you used it then then you could’ve realized I wasn’t lying to you.” “I was shocked by your actions.” Levi sighed. “I didn’t think-I just ran. I had never had that happen before.” “And when I talked with you today?” “I briefly used it. I just wanted to know how honest you were being about your feelings for me.” Levi confessed. “Once I realized that you weren’t just trying to play me, I gave in.” “So, you do like me then.” Eren’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. “Yes, Eren. I thought that was obvious.” Levi rolled his eyes but the slight smirk and hint of amusement in his normally passive eyes told Eren he wasn’t as irritated as he let on. “So, if I tried to kiss you right now you’d let me?” Eren wiggled his eyebrows up and down at Levi. “Don’t push your luck, Brat.” Levi snorted before turning around. “Now, stop distracting me. I need to finish this letter tonight so I can give it to Annie.” “No fun,” Eren teased before lying back against his bed and closing his eyes. Maybe a short nap would do him some good. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Chapter 16 It was dark in the library. Annie shifted her weight from side to side. To an onlooker, she’d appear as though she was just keeping her muscles warm before a fight or sparring session but to someone who really knew her, they’d recognize her movements as those of uneasiness. She wanted to be in the library for as little time as possible. She didn’t want to risk the chances of her getting caught and having the whole operation blown to smithereens. After her discussion with King Levi, Annie had sought out Armin. She knew that this whole plan could not be something Eren was orchestrating himself. He was not simply that bright. Eren was passionate and brave, sure, but bright was not an adjective Annie would use to describe him. But what Eren lacked in book smarts he made up for in determination and compassion. She had a deep respect for Eren despite his flaws, which was one of very few reasons she was doing this in the first place. Armin had explained the coup to her. He had told her that Eren was tired of being held hostage under his father’s government and felt it was time to rid Titan of the current government. He told her how Eren wanted to send Levi back to his people but knew that the only way he could do that was if he overthrew his father. There were a few other people who were already in on the operation but they all decided that it was best if they kept the idea to themselves for the time being. The only reason Annie knew was because they needed her help. It was true what Eren had said. She was the only one who could slip between the guards’ fingers. Being the only Kyojin-whether they realized it or not-to become a recognized knight, she could easily fabricate a lie saying that she needed to deliver a message to Nile-which wouldn't raise any suspicions since she had done it several times in the past for Commander Erwin. Keeping her identity a secret from the other knights was difficult at times. She had the luck of having a more human like appearance instead of the appearances other Kyojin had. Her breed had small ears and her tribe had begun to bob the tails of their young to allow them to blend in with humans as much as physically possible. This may seem cruel to some but ultimately it helped save the lives of many in her tribe. Whenever the word got out about a possible raid, the tribe would quickly shed their traditional clothes in favor of wearing regular human clothes. This had stopped them from being subjugated to many raids. It also allowed Annie to pass as a human and be a mole for the Kyojin. There were only a small handful of humans that knew she was a Kyojin but they knew not to say anything. Of course all the other Kyojin recognized her scent but knew better than to rat her out. She was one of their only chances of one day being free. She also sent messages to their families and clans on their behalf. The door opened and Annie nearly startled. She knew that she was well hidden from human eyes but was visible to fellow Kyojin-especially Feline Kyojin. Her eyes saw King Levi approaching without a problem. “Sir,” She spoke in the language of the Kyojin and placed her right fist over her heart while the left was placed behind her back but over her heart in a traditional sign of respect for her king. “Do you have everything ready for me?” “Yes,” Levi responded with a nod in acknowledgement. “You are to find the Caracals. They will be located in the hidden cave behind the Maria Waterfall. It will not be easy to find but I trust that you can use your nose and ears to find the entrance hidden behind the rock wall. You will have to swim which I know your kind is not a fan of but it is necessary.” “Yes, Sir.” Annie cringed when he said she’d have to swim. It was true; her kind hated swimming. Sure, they liked to bathe and drink but they didn’t actively search out swimming holes. “Once you enter, you will mostly likely be confronted by several Caracals. Do not fight them; they are too well trained and will easily overpower you not to mention hurt you. Let them take you to the acting king or queen. Once you are before them, tell them that their father has sent you. If they ask for the code, roar. You will not be able to mimic our calls obviously but a roar should be enough for them to realize that I did indeed send you. “Once they release you, I want you to give them my letter. They will probably hound you with questions-especially my daughter- and you can answer as many as you can if you so wish. I want for them to read the message in front of you and have them send a reply. It doesn’t have to be long but I need to know they will follow my instructions. Once they do that you may return to us. I don’t know what you’re planning to use as a cover story but if it requires you to stop then feel free but please come back within three days. It shouldn't take you too long to reach my tribe- especially with your breed’s stamina.” “It should only take a few hours as long as I don’t run into any trouble along the way.” Annie agreed with her king. It was impressive that he knew so much about her breed but she guessed it was his job to know everything about everyone. “That’s all I have for you,” Levi stepped back. “Now go and be safe!” Without hesitation Annie followed her king’s orders. She was almost to the courtyard when a voice whispered to her from the bushes: “Annie!” “Armin!” She hissed and followed the Canine into the shrubs. “What are you doing?” “I have something to give you before you go,” Armin told her. “Make it fast, I need to leave as soon as I can.” Annie told him. “Here,” Armin shoved a bag into Annie’s arms. “What is this?” Annie looked at Armin in confusion. “It’s a little bit of food and water,” Armin told her. “And a letter.” “A letter?” Annie inquired. “For what?” “Your story is you’re going to see Nile, right?” Annie nodded at Armin’s question. “You’re going to need something to give him.” “And I’m supposed to give him this letter?” Annie asked. “What does it say?” “Erwin wrote it for you,” Armin told her. “It’s basically some bullshit request for Nile and his henchmen to report to base for some meeting followed by a ball or banquet of some sort. I didn’t read it completely but Erwin figured that it would be easiest if we only had to orchestrate one ambush instead of several. Things would go a lot more smoothly if we did.” “Wait, the Commander is in on this too?” Annie asked in disbelief. “Of course he is. Who do you think helped me plan all of this? He’s always hated the idea of slaves,” Armin shrugged. “He has us for the same reason that Eren has Levi; to save us from worse fates. He figures if he can teach us to be self-sufficient then he’s done something good. He and Mike falling in love was a side thing that just kind of happened.” “Give him my thanks then,” Annie said before standing up. “I need to head out.” “Be careful and stay safe.” Armin told her and she gave him one last nod before setting off for the front gate. As she reached the gate she breathed a small sigh of relief. The guards working the gate were Reiner and Jean tonight. She knew Reiner wouldn’t give her any issues and Jean was too stupid to ask questions that had any real depth to them. “Hey, Annie!” Reiner waved to her as she approached the gate. “Hi, guys.” She nodded to the pair. “What’re you doing?” Jean asked her as she came to a halt in front of them. “The Commander needed something delivered to Nile and asked me to do it since there’s not much else I can do until Hanji clears me for duty again.” She lied. Reiner sent her a discrete look over Jean’s shoulder, which she barely acknowledged with a look of her own. “Oh, that sucks,” Jean’s face twisted up a look that was a cross between disgust and pity. “I hate going there; it gives me the creeps.” “That’s probably because of what they do there, Jean.” Reiner chuckled and the smaller man’s reaction. “Yeah,” Jean agreed. “I don't like slavery and being in a place I know they torture Kyojin into submission just doesn’t sit well with me or my conscious.” “Me neither, but I gotta do what the Commander asks me to do.” Annie agreed. While Jean was not her favorite human in the castle she did appreciate his feelings towards slavery. “He’s having you leave so late at night?” Reiner asked. “Yeah, he says that the letter has some time sensitive information in it and it needs to get to Nile as soon as I can manage.” Annie lied with a shrug. “I guess that means I have to leave now. Commander’s orders.” “Well alright,” Jean didn’t sound so convinced but gave in at the mention of the Commander. He entered his personal code to the command box and pulled down on one of several levers once the control panel opened. “Stay safe, Annie.” Reiner’s farewell held a double meaning that Annie understood. She knew that Reiner knew something was up but trusted Annie at the same time. He was one of the handful of humans that knew what she was so she knew he wouldn’t out her right now but was sure to interrogate her upon her return. “Will do,” Annie nodded at the two knights before taking off at a steady jog out the open gates. It wasn’t for another several hours that Annie drew close to the Maria Waterfall. The waterfall was sacred to Kyojin. It was the one drinking hole where all differences were forced aside and the Kyojin all respected each other. Legends said that before their enslavement, there was a wonderful summer festival held each year at the waterfall. All tribes would gather and all feuds would be put aside for the two weeklong event. Trading between tribes would commence, the children would play amongst one another and alliances would be made. After the beginning of the enslavement the festival was forced to come to a halt. Very few living Kyojin had ever witnessed the festival with their own eyes; only through stories passed down from generation to generation. However, sometimes the Kyojin still visited the sacred site. It was the only waterfall that didn't dry up in the summer and freeze in the harsh winters. The flow of water remained constant just like the circle of life around them. Legends also said that if the Waterfall were to freeze or run dry, all life on Titan would cease. The moons would become dark and the sun would not rise. Titan would fall into a pit of darkness. While many legends varied from tribe to tribe, one legend remained constant no matter whom you talked to. The legend was that the Caracals could forcibly halt the water. It was just one of an infinite of reasons the Caracals ruled over the Kyojin. The Caracals possessed the ultimate power. The legend spoke of the events that would occur if this happened. If they Caracals deemed it necessary, they could temporarily stop the flow of water resulting in a shift of power. The sun would set within an hour-if it was still up-and the moons would rise together. The humans did not know that Titan had not one, not two, but four moons that took turns rising. Each moon affected the Kyojin in different ways. Sometimes it allowed the Canines to become stronger, sometimes it allowed the Felines to become more powerful, the Leporidae had their chance, and so did the Primates. Thus, if all of the four moons rose together, this would allow for all four of the Kyojin Kingdoms to become their strongest. But with great power came great consequences. The Kyojin healing would be greatly reduced while the moons were in the sky. Kyojin had the ability to heal from life threatening injuries in a matter of minutes sometimes even seconds depending on how powerful the Kyojin was. If this ability was taken away then the Kyojin faced a risk of a higher death toll. It also made some Kyojin lose their humanity so to speak. While this was not ever proven to be true, some insist that it can result in the Kyojin becoming either temporarily or permanently feral. Permanently feral Kyojin were a danger to everyone and would have to be put down as quickly as possible for they could kill many innocent Kyojin. And the biggest wives’ tale that most believe to be a myth was the possibility of losing of the heads of the tribes. The acting heads of each tribe would have to sacrifice themselves in order for this to happen. Despite all of the myths and unknowns that surrounded the Maria Waterfall, the only Kyojin that knew what was fact and what was fiction was of course the Caracals. True to Caracal nature, they have never confirmed nor denied any of the wives’ tales. They may have snorted or shot looks of disbelief (which is why many Kyojin do not believe in the possibility of feral Kyojin and the loss of the tribe heads) but they never outright said anything about the myths. Most Kyojin figured that they did this to protect the Kyojin. With great power comes great responsibility. The Leopards had once suggested that the Caracals didn’t even know how to stop the Maria Waterfall but they were quickly shut down by the other Kyojin (except the rabbits who were too busy panicking at the suggestion and therefore making fools of themselves to say anything). However, the Caracals did say on many occasions that should they decide that it might be in the best interest of everyone to stop the Waterfall, they would discuss it with all the tribe heads. Annie sincerely hoped that Levi was not planning to halt the river. But she also doubted that he would do such an arguably brash thing without good reason and a great deal of thought. He was known as the “Titan’s Strongest” and the fairest of the Kyojin Kings. Levi would not do something as powerful as halt the Waterfall without consulting the tribe heads first. Reaching the Maria Waterfall, Annie took a long moment to stare at its beauty. Sure she had been here before but that was when she was small. It had seemed massive as a child and to her surprise it seemed just as massive now. The raging waterfall poured over the side of the Sacred Cliff and into a surprisingly peaceful pool below. The water was untouched by man and so clear that Annie could see the fish swimming in the pool below her. Taking a deep breath, Annie dived into the pool making the fish part around her. She swam her way under the Waterfall and as soon as she cleared the raging water falling from above her, she swam to the surface to take a breath. Annie treaded in a circle, looking for the rock wall Levi told her about. Once she spotted it, hidden behind vines, she pushed against the rocks. When nothing happened she growled. Of course it wouldn’t be easy. That’s when she noticed the fish below her. Instead of them stopping at the rock wall in front of her, she noticed the fish were disappearing into the wall. That’s when she realized she was supposed to enter the cave. She wasn’t supposed to move the rocks; she needed to swim under them! Taking another breath and praying to any deity that would listen, Annie dove back under the water and followed the fish. She kicked her feet as fast as she could, her lungs screaming for oxygen until she was able to come to the surface again. She took several gasping breaths just as figures fell from the sky. The Felines landed in a tight circle around her and pointed spears and her throat and heart. “I’m not here to attack you,” She told them hoping they’d listen. “How are we supposed to believe you?” One of the Caracals hissed. “I’m a Leonhart.” She told them knowing they’d recognize the name. “I can’t lie to you even if I wanted to.” The Caracals looked at her skeptically for a moment before they lowered their weapons. Annie breathed a small sigh of relief that they had listened to her before one of the Caracals stepped forward. “You are a Leonhart?” He asked and Annie just nodded. “Why are you here?” “I need to speak to your King and Queen.” She told them. There was chatter among the Caracals that Annie could not understand. Caracals unlike other Kyojin had their own distinct language that was undecipherable to any other Kyojin tribe except for their close cousins the Panthers. Even then their cousins could barely translate for them. “Very well,” The head of the warriors said after a moment. “Follow me.” The cave was deeper than Annie expected. Though it was pitch dark, her eyes had no problem seeing. The walk was short but it was wet and Annie couldn’t wait to be dry again soon-though she had to admit that this was a great hiding spot for the Caracals. Felines did not like water and Nile’s cronies would not think to look for them behind a waterfall. It wasn’t long before the group came to a halt. In front of her were steps leading up to a high platform with a single chair carved in stone resting on it. Annie figured this was probably where Levi would govern from if he were not with Eren. “The King will be out shortly,” The head warrior said. Annie nodded to him and waited. She could feel eyes on her from all angles but resisted the urge to hiss in discomfort. She was not in her own territory and the Caracals were an inquisitive species by nature. They were not trying to be creepy; they were just highly interested in their visitor. Finally after what felt like hours, a figure appeared on the platform. The sandy brown Caracal spared her a single glance before settling into his chair. His ears were pointed in her direction meaning she had his full attention and his tail rested lazily on his lap showing he was at ease in her presence. He wore no overly elegant clothing like the human king but rather the clothing of the nomads. He wore a gold colored tunic with the collar flipped up to cover the sides of his neck; not only was this fashionable but also practical. The collar obscured his neck from view which made it harder for enemies to hit him in the neck with weapons unless they were facing him head on, which was a near death sentence when faced with a Caracal-even a skilled one. He had brown pants with some beads around the ankles and the two gold cuffs wrapped around his biceps were the only extravagant pieces he wore. “Hello,” He finally spoke a deep booming voice that reminded Annie of King Levi. “I hear you are Leonhart.” “Yes,” She said simply. “You must be Annie then,” The man continued. “Unless Makah had another cub I never knew of.” “No, I am the only cub he has.” Annie confirmed. “I heard you were intercepted the humans when you were just a young kitten,” The King said, not in an accusing manner. “I did,” Annie told him. “Fascinating. What brings you here then?” The man asked her. “We are not easy to find.” “No, you are not.” Annie agreed with him. “I was instructed on where to find you.” “You were?” The man’s eyebrows rose slightly. “By whom? Very few know of this place.” “Your father, King Levi.” Annie announced firmly. This was it; this was the moment they killed her and accused her of lying to them or they listened to her and she dearly hoped it was the latter. “My father?” The King leaned forward in interest. “My father was taken by the humans.” “I work in the castle that he is in,” Annie told the King, glad that he was at least interested in what she was saying. “He is the slave of the human, Prince Eren.” “He allowed himself to become a slave?” The King’s eyes widened in shock. “I thought he would’ve died before he submitted.” “The human Prince is different than all other humans I have ever met.” Annie explained. “He is kind and fair and vocal about his hatred for slavery. Very vocal.” “Is he now?” The King inquired. “I have heard rumors but did not think they had any substance to them. It is interesting to learn they may be more than just rumors. Tell me then, how is my father?” “He is well,” Annie told him. She would answer any questions the King had because she would want the same if she were in his position. “Eren treats him fairly. Eren also knows that your father is the King. I suspect they both harbor romantic feelings for each other.” “Interesting,” The King folded his fingers together and leaned back in his chair. “Did he send you here then?” “Yes,” Annie nodded and reached into her pocket. When she did this, the Caracal soldiers around her jumped into action but to Annie’s relief the King raised a hand to stop them. “He gave me this for you to read.” Annie cautiously approached the bottom of the stairs where the head warrior met her. He took the letter from her and gave it to the King. The King wasted no time in opening the letter and reading it. He nodded and hummed a few times but his face remained unreadable; something he must have inherited from his father. After a minute he lowered the paper. “Did my father give you a signal?” The King asked. Annie let out her loudest roar, listening to it bounce off the walls of the cavern. She held eye contact with the King who hummed and nodded. He stood and walked towards Annie who backed up in surprise at his approach. “Do not worry,” The King smiled at her. Smiled. “I am not going to hurt you. But I need you to follow me so I may write a response for my father.” Annie did not say anything in reply; she just followed behind the man. They entered one of the cavern’s hidden bedrooms. The King’s room was shockingly simple. It had a bed made of soft fur and leaves on one side and a carved wooden table and chair against the other. The King sat at his desk and began to write. Annie stood in the room and waited for the King to finish just observing him and the simplicity of his room. After a few minutes, he put down his charcoal pen and handed Annie a folded letter. “You must go now,” The King instructed her with a sad smile. “Tell my father that we will be there and that I send my love.” “I will.” Annie promised. “I will be sure to tell your father that you are safe and healthy,” The King surprised Annie by saying as she turned to leave. “He misses you and I think it will bring him comfort to know that you are, at the very least, healthy. Dare I say happy?” “Content would be a better word,” She smiled in thanks to the King. She could see why the Kyojin respected their King so much. They were not stuck up or mean, they were kind and generous and understanding. “Thank you, My King.” “You are very welcome, Annie.” The King patted her softly on the shoulder. “Thank you for being brave enough to come here. I know it was not the safest thing to do but I promise that you will not regret your decision.” “I hope so.” And with that, Annie set off on her long journey back to the castle. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Chapter 17 In the week that it took for Annie to return a great deal of preparations were made. Levi and Eren trained for hours every day trying to get him skilled enough to “at least not die or become maimed” as Levi put it. Erwin, Mike and Armin began planning the meeting between the royals, Nile and themselves. They knew that Eren’s father would not be able to resist holding a banquet following the meeting and that would provide them the perfect opportunity to attack. No one would know it was coming. Word began to spread among the Kyojin about a possible coup. This was mostly Armin’s doing. He told a few Kyojin about a coup he was planning knowing that they would go and tell their friends and so on. “Kyojin are pack animals by nature,” Armin explained to Eren one time when he had asked why Armin took that specific approach. “ They have pack mentality. If they know that their fellow Kyojin are excited and willing to join a movement then they are significantly more likely to join said movement.” Each individual Kyojin pledged to assist in any way they possibly could. Sasha, Connie and the other cooks pledged to put muscle-relaxing agents into the food so that the royals and Nile would be incapacitated as much as they could be at the time of the ambush. Ymir and the blacksmiths set to work making weaponry for any Kyojin that was adept in hand to hand combat. These were mostly Feline and Ape Kyojin but several Canine Kyojin were heavily trained in archery and thus could assist from afar. Even some of the most trusted knights were asked to assist in the coup. Knights like Reiner and Jean were among the trusted knights who pledged their assistance. Reiner especially was highly trusted among his fellow knights and knew which could be trusted. He along with Jean would approach these knights and convince them to help their cause. Eren wasn’t completely convinced that Jean did anything to help and even Levi admitted he thought that Reiner did most of the convincing. Levi also played his part. He did this very discretely and to the point that almost no one knew what he was doing. Sure the Kyojin were aware that he was checking to see what their intentions were but not the humans. Levi, with Eren’s help, screened every human that they thought they could trust before they approached them to see how honest they really were when Eren talked about slavery with them. As the days drug on, Levi was noticeably more restless. He wanted to know what Annie had been able to do. Had she been able to find his tribe? Had they listened? Did they say they would be able to help? He simply didn’t know. Levi did not like not knowing things he deemed highly important. He would like to think that his children would spring at the opportunity to free their father if not the rest of the slaves. His youngest especially was always ranting about one day saving all the slaves and overthrowing the humans. Whether or not she lived up to her words, he would just have to wait and see. Hell, he didn’t even know who had taken over for him. It could go either way though he hoped it was his son and not his daughter. She was a bit brash and quick to jump to conclusions whereas his son was more level headed. The more he thought about it, the more he could see parallels between his daughter and Eren. Both were determined to the point of being stubborn-stupidly so. The both had passion that burned behind their eyes and was reflected in everything they did. They both wore their heart on their sleeves. Hell, even their eyes were similar though Eren’s had much more blue in them than his daughter’s. While Levi admitted that his son was also like this to a degree, his son also had been able to push his stubbornness aside as he aged. This was something his daughter-and he suspected Eren too-would never do. “Levi, you’re doing that weird spacing out thing again.” Eren said while waving his hand in front of Levi’s face. Before he could react, Levi snagged one of Eren’s fingers in his mouth and playful nipped it before releasing it. “OW! WHAT THE FUCK, LEVI?!” Eren cried as he cradled his hand to his chest. The look of pure betrayal was enough to make Levi laugh quietly. “It’s not funny,” Eren pouted. “You have sharp teeth you know.” “I know, I used to use them frequently to rip my food apart.” Levi said idly, stroking his tail with the tip his tongue peaking out of his mouth; the ultimate sign of content. “Jerk,” Eren muttered under his breath. “What’d you say, Brat?” Levi asked despite knowing exactly what he had said. “Oh, nothing.” Eren shot Levi his best fake smile. “That’s what I thought.” Levi smirked. “What were you thinking about, anyway?” Eren asked. “My family,” Levi answered honestly. There was not point in lying to Eren, he’d find out eventually. The kid was as persistent as he was kind. “What about them?” Eren’s voice became softer at the mention of Levi’s family. “Just wondering how they’re doing.” Levi shrugged. “Hoping that my son took my place and not my daughter.” “Why?” Eren laughed a little. “Because my daughter would charge everyone off a cliff trying to prove that it wasn’t a cliff. She’s a lot like you in that way-stubborn and determined. The two are not mutually exclusive.” Levi smiled at the memories of his spitfire daughter. “What about your son?” Eren didn’t even try to defend himself. He knew he was stubborn and he proved it nearly every day. “He’s a lot like Mikasa and Armin. He’s quiet and analytical. He looks at all sides before making a decision. That’s why I think he’d be a better king,” Levi explained. “He’d do his best to be as fair as he could. He does have a stubborn streak as well. Though, it’s not nearly as prevalent as his sister’s. They get it from their mother.” “Tell me about her.” Eren said, taking a seat on the edge of his bed. “Who?” Levi asked. “Their mother.” Eren clarified. “Her name was Petra. She had strawberry blonde hair and was a little infatuated with me. I knew she admired me but I didn’t think she was in love with me. It wasn’t until her father approached me that I really noticed how deeply she was infatuated with me. “I had returned from a battle with a rival tribe who was encroaching on our territory a little bit too much. It was the Leopard tribe ironically. No losses or anything, which was good. Before I could even enter the cave we lived in her father came up to me and started talking about how he was getting old and wanted grand kittens. It freaked me out a little bit because I didn’t quite get what he was talking about. But then he mentioned how good of a pair Petra and I were. “Because I’m more into dick than anything so I hadn’t really looked at her like that. But I had met all of the men in our tribe and I had no interest in any of them so I decided to give Petra a chance. I was more than aware that I needed to have an heir sooner rather than later and I had put it off long enough by that point. She was thrilled and I guess I was okay with it so it worked out. Even though I didn’t love her the same way she did me I tried to do my best to take care of her during and after her pregnancy. “I was genuinely devastated when she was killed.” Levi said with a sad, far off look in his eyes. “She had become a good friend to me and I valued our friendship. She was also the mother of my kittens so I did have a huge soft spot in my heart for her and always will. It was hard to lose that. I promised her and myself that I would be the best father and pseudo-mother for our beautiful kittens that I could possibly be. I think I did okay and they grew up to be great Caracals and I can’t ask for much more than that.” “I’m sure you were the best parent they could ever ask for.” Eren said coming up behind Levi to wrap his arms around him. Over the past week, Levi and Eren’s relationship had grown by leaps and bounds. No longer was Levi denying their relationship and had come to accept his feelings for Eren. He had promised himself that he would never fall in love with a human but he couldn’t help himself with Eren. He may have found his soulmate in Eren. Kyojin believed in soulmates. While you were free to mate with whomever you wanted, once you found the one that makes you lose interest in everyone else the two of you become exclusive. Breeding for the sake of population and mating were two very different things in Kyojin societies. It didn’t matter which type of Kyojin you asked, they all had the same respect and culture around soulmates. Those who found their soulmates claimed that when you came together you would know if you had found your soulmate. Levi looked forward to the day he and Eren could come together as one so he too could see what it was like for himself. Levi never told Eren this of course because it was a little bit cheesy for Levi’s tastes and it was also not something that humans quite understood. Shaking the thoughts out of his head before they could go any further, Levi turned in Eren’s arms to face him. “We should probably get back to training,” Levi whispered. Talking in a normal voice seemed like it would be too loud all of the sudden. “I don’t want for you to get hurt when this all goes down.” “Levi, we’ve been training all day today and yesterday and for the past week.” Eren groaned. “Let’s just relax for a moment. It won’t kill us.” “I suppose,” Levi relented, knowing that Eren was right. They had been training all day every day for the past week. Levi claimed it was for Eren’s safety but he also knew deep down that it was also to keep himself occupied. So he allowed himself to be drug back to Eren’s room for a while to rest and relax before they would go back to training after the knights finished with their evening practices. They maneuvered their way to lie next to each other on Eren’s bed. In the past week, Levi had learned that Eren was a cuddler. Whenever they took a nap together Levi always woke up to Eren sprawled all over him. He didn’t mind it though. It made him feel safe which was not something Levi would’ve ever thought to ask for until he had it. Lying on the bed, Levi rested his head on Eren’s chest, enjoying the sound of his heartbeat. His heart beat much slower than his own and Levi wondered if that contributed to humans’ lack of stamina. Levi’s heart beat almost twice as fast as Eren’s and he could run four times as long as the best human runner. “So, what’ll happen after all this is over?” Eren asked as he played with a strand of Levi’s soft inky locks. “What do you mean?” Levi hummed into Eren’s warm chest. “Well, when this is all over and you’re free, what will you do?” Eren asked reluctantly. “I’m not sure,” Levi said honestly. “I’ll have to go back to being King of course but I don’t know after that.” “Do you think we even have the possibility of staying together?” Eren asked. “Maybe,” Levi said understanding where Eren was going with his question. “I’d like to think so.” “If you could, would you stay by my side?” “And rule the humans?” Levi genuinely asked. “Well, I could rule the humans and you could rule the Kyojin but we could do it together in the castle; side by side.” Eren suggested. “I’d like that,” Levi yawned. Lying on the bed in Eren’s warm embrace was making Levi’s eyes heavy. “Take a nap,” Eren suggested. “I’ll wake you in a little bit.” “M’kay.” Levi hummed and let sleep overtake him. An insistent pounding on the door woke Levi from his nap. Eren was already trying to gently untangle himself from Levi hoping that he wouldn’t wake him. But the knocking was too loud and Levi groaned which alerted Eren to Levi’s consciousness. “Sorry,” Eren apologized sheepishly. “Who's at the door?” Levi half growled in irritation. “I’m not sure,” Eren said as he unlocked the door. As soon as the door opened, Armin and Annie burst into the room. At the sight of Annie, any lingering sleepiness Levi may have had vanished. He sprung up in an instant and walked over to the blond pair. “You’re back,” Levi greeted Annie who saluted to him. “I am,” She said before reaching into the satchel she was carrying and producing a letter. “I found your tribe and gave them the message. They sent you a reply.” “Thank you,” Levi breathed as he took the letter. He would have to read it later once Armin and Annie left. “Whom did you talk to?” “A man,” Annie said. “He had sandy brown hair and was somewhat tall. He was very kind and he was happy to hear from you.” “I’m glad to hear my son is in charge,” Levi said but showed no emotion to the other Kyojin. “He will do an excellent job.” “I believe so as well,” Annie said honestly. “Nile will be arriving in two days,”Armin interrupted and looked at Levi. “That means we have two days to get everything prepared. Do you think that you can be ready by then?” “Yes,” Levi answered. “Eren is more than ready with his training and I believe the castle’s Kyojin are more than ready to get this going.” “Do you think your tribe will be able to get everything in order in two days?” Armin said seriously. “Yes,” Levi said honestly. “I think that they will be able to pull everything together by then. If I know my son, he’s already got everything together and is waiting to be called.” “Good.” Armin nodded. “Annie and I need to report to Erwin now. We’ll meet up with you tomorrow to discuss our strategy.” “Sounds good.” Levi nodded and watched the Kyojin leave. “I’m so glad I was included in this conversation.” Eren grumbled and rolled his eyes after the two blond Kyojin had left. “They were discussing strategy and coordinating our attack,” Levi told him. “You don’t need to be a part of that.” “Levi, I am a part of this whole operation,” Eren pointed out. “I should be a part of those conversations too.” “Yes, but you are not trying to get everyone on the same page. You are going to be at a banquet waiting for us to launch our attack.” Levi informed him. “You are not going to be giving any signals or timing anything.” “I suppose not,” Eren frowned. “No one is trying to leave you out, Eren.” Levi sighed and approached his mate. “You are very much a part of this but we were discussing things like timing and getting everyone on the same page.” “I know. I just hate to feel useless.” Eren admitted. “You’re not useless,” Levi told the man. “You are the opposite of useless. Without you, we would never be able to pull this off.” “You think so?” Eren’s eyes gleamed with a little bit of hope. Levi offered Eren a genuine smile and said, “I know so.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Chapter 18 Two days flew by. Before Eren could even blink, Nile and his cronies had arrived at the castle. Eren hated each and every one of them but he had an act he needed to play and so he forced a smile and pretended not to care. He did however almost blow his act when he saw Kenny. Kenny gave Eren the most disgusting grin once he saw him and Levi. Eren imagined slim dripping from his mouth when he smiled. He was so disgusted with the man. Kenny greeted them like they were somehow old friends and eyed Levi up and down as though he was checking him out sexually. Levi managed to act as though the sight of Kenny eyeing him did not make him was to strangle the man. Kenny made some snide comment about Eren managing to tame Levi somehow and went to greet Eren’s father. By the end of the whole ordeal, Eren’s hands were almost bleeding where his nails were digging into his palms. The meeting went as smoothly as Eren could hope. He mostly tuned Erwin out as the group discussed possible hide outs for other Kyojin tribes and Eren was impressed that Erwin somehow managed to convince Nile that they should check the opposite side of the island from where Levi’s tribe actually was. Eren was more than relieved when the meeting was finished. He hurried to his room with Levi following right behind him to change into more formal but comfortable clothing. He had Bert and his sewing skills to thank for that. Bert was able to sew him clothing that allowed him to move freely but also looked formal enough for a banquet. “So, what is our signal?” Eren asked Levi as they both changed. It took every ounce of self control for Eren not to ogle the Kyojin’s pert ass. “You’ll know it when you hear it,” Levi said as he hid another dagger into his pants. “’Cause that’s not cryptic as fuck.” Eren scoffed. “It won’t seem cryptic when it happens, believe me.” Levi smirked at his somewhat pouting mate. They had mated the night before for the first time. Levi couldn’t begin to describe how wonderful it felt to couple with Eren. Levi, what if we die tomorrow?” Eren had asked the Kyojin the previous evening. “Why the ever loving fuck would you say that, Eren?” Levi growled at the mention of Eren dying. “Because I’m trying to be realistic.” Eren told him. “I’m not as skilled as you are and a lot of the people we will be fighting are going to be extremely well trained fighters. It’s literally all they’ve been doing their entire lives.” “Well, it’s all I’ve been doing my entire life too.” Levi said. “So we have nothing to worry about.” “Levi, you aren’t seriously suggesting that you’re going to spend the entire time protecting me are you?” Eren’s eyebrows furrowed. “What if I am?” Levi challenged. “You can’t possibly do that!” Eren argued. “They’re-we’re- going to need you to fight! You can’t be my bodyguard.” “I can fight and protect you at the same time, Eren.” Levi sighed. “No you can’t.” Eren disputed. “What if you I’m about to be attacked but so is your child? Then what do you do?” “My kittens can take care of themselves,” Levi disputed. “So obviously I’d save you.” “Levi,” Eren sighed in frustration. “You aren’t seeing my point.” “I am seeing your point perfectly well, thank you.” Levi quipped. “Then why are we having this conversation in the first place?” Eren challenged Levi. “Because your safety is what matters the most to me. If you hadn’t insisted on being here in the first place otherwise I wouldn’t have you go!” Levi told him. “Watch it Levi,” Eren snorted. “Someone might think you care for me.” “I do you monumental dumbass!” Levi growled at him. It took a moment for Levi to realize the weight of his words. He had literally just confessed that he had feelings for Eren that went beyond friendship. While he had admitted it to himself a long time ago, he had never told Eren how he really felt. He figured that after tomorrow it wouldn’t matter anyway. Judging by Eren’s huge eyes and slightly parted mouth, Eren wasn’t expecting Levi’s response either. Eren was oblivious to all things romantic so Levi didn’t doubt that Eren had never realized all of the passes Levi made or all of the other signs he gave Eren that he harbored feelings for him. “You like me?” Eren blinked at the Kyojin. “Yes,” Levi admitted to Eren. His tail swayed nervously behind him and his ears lay sideways against his head. “Not that it matters after tonight.” “It matters now though,” Eren told him as he slowly inched forwards. Levi made no moves to stop the human. He could smell Eren’s intent a mile away and he couldn’t find it in himself to stop the man either. He had wanted this for a long time and even if it was only for one night, Levi was going to pretend that it was forever. “Levi,” Eren said softly when he stopped in front of him. “I’m going to kiss you now.” “Okay,” Levi nodded. Levi hadn’t expected Eren to give him a sweet, chaste kiss and he was glad that Eren didn’t. The kiss was fiery and passionate. Soft lips moved against each other while Eren’s tongue wormed its way between his. While their tongues danced together, Levi twisted his hands in Eren’s soft brown locks. Neither Eren nor Levi realized that Eren was inching them backwards until Levi fell on Eren’s bed with Eren catching himself on his forearms above him. They lay panting while the looked into each other’s eyes. “Levi,” Eren panted above the Kyojin. “If you don’t tell me to stop now I don’t think I’ll be able to.” “What if I don’t want you to stop?” Levi enticed him. “God,” Eren groaned before his mouth descended on Levi’s again. This kiss was just as passionate as the last. After a moment, Levi felt Eren’s hips grind against his. Acting purely off instinct Levi pressed his hips into Eren’s. Eren’s hands began to slide up and down his body leaving a trail of fire behind them. Levi whimpered as his erection strained against his pajama pants and he ached for Eren to hurry. “Can I take this off?” Eren asked as he reached the hem of Levi’s shirt. “Yes!” Levi said eagerly, glad that things were finally progressing in the direction he wanted them to. Eren wasted no time ripping Levi’s shirt off over his head before doing the same to his. Eren spent a moment admiring the Kyojin below him. Levi’s hair was slayed across the pillow, his hands twisted in the sheets, his milky skin tempted him to mark it but the pink nipples drew Eren’s attention. He bent down and latched on to one with his mouth while he rolled the other between his fingers. “Gods, Eren!” Levi moaned loudly as his back arched. After giving a few more hard sucks, Eren turned his attention to the other nipple and gave it the same treatment before he sucked his way down Levi’s muscular chest and abdomen. “How the hell did you learn to be so good at this?!” Levi whimpered as Eren reached the hem of his pants. “Don’t know,” Eren shrugged as he peered at Levi through his eyelashes. “Just doing what feels right.” “Well keeping doing it.” Levi encouraged him by lifting his hips off the bed. Eren didn’t need to be told twice and pulled the Kyojin’s pants down his strong legs and threw them to the ground. “Damn,” Eren breathed as he took in Levi’s naked body. “Stop looking at me like that,” Levi complained and avoided eye contact. “I knew you were hot but I didn’t realize you were this hot.” Eren told him. “Eren do something!” Levi said impatiently. “Okay, okay.” Eren laughed as he reached out to take hold of Levi’s weeping erection. “This what you wanted?” “Yes,” Levi hissed and thrusted in time with Eren’s strokes. “You need to take off the rest of your clothes. I don't want to be the only naked one here.” “No problem.” Eren laughed when Levi frowned in disappointment when Eren let go of him in order to take off his pants and underwear. “This what you wanted, Levi?” “Hell yes,” Levi smiled widely and pushed Eren to the bed effectively switching their positions. “You aren’t the only one who can have fun.” Before Eren could ask what Levi meant, Levi took Eren’s erection into his mouth. He sucked the tip eagerly before slowly taking more and more of Eren’s erection into his mouth. After a few moments Levi had taken Eren’s erection all the way to the hilt. “Fuck!” Eren groaned at the sight of Levi eagerly sucking at his erection. “If you don’t slow down I’m going to cum.” “Isn’t that the point?” Levi teased him after letting go of Eren’s erection. “I’d much rather cum in you.” Eren told him with blazing green eyes as he rolled Levi back onto his back. Levi was more that happy to submit to Eren’s advances. Hell, it turned him on when Eren got dominate like this. “Oh?” Levi smirked. “You better get this show on the road then.” Eren reached into one of the bedside tables and pulled out a tube of lotion. While Levi wanted to know if that had always been there or if Eren had planned this, he opted not to in fear of ruining the mood. Instead he lay all the way back and spread his legs wide for Eren. Eren let out a groan at the obvious display that Levi was putting on. He quickly coated his fingers in lotion before positioning his index finger at Levi’s hole. After receiving a nod from Levi, he pushed the first finger in. “Oh God, it’s so tight!” Eren exclaimed as he pumped his finger in and out. “Well it’s been a long time.” Levi grunted as he pushed back against Eren’s finger. “Add another.” “Let’s not talk about previous partners right now.” Eren scowled but complied with Levi’s request. “I wasn’t talking about other guys,” Levi chuckled before he let out a loud moan as Eren added a third finger. “I was talking about myself.” “You finger yourself?” Eren asked and curled his fingers looking for that spot that he knew would set Levi on fire. “Yeah, sometimes.” Levi said honestly before his back bowed and he let out a loud moan. “There! Right there!” Eren continued to assault Levi’s prostate for a few more moments before he pulled his fingers out. Levi groaned at the loss but when he looked between his legs he was pleased to see that Eren was stroking lotion on his arousal. After a few strokes, Eren turned back to Levi who spread his legs impossibly wider for Eren. Eren lined his cock up with Levi’s stretched and ready hole before looking into Levi’s eyes. “Here goes nothing,” Eren muttered. “That is not something you should say before you ah-“ Levi’s complaint was cut off by his moan of pleasure when Eren slowly began to push into Levi. He waited a few moments for Levi to adjust before he began to thrust into him. It felt so good to be intimate with the Kyojin. He had pined after Levi for so long and now here they were coming together. “Feels good,” Levi moaned in his ear. “Yeah? You like that?” Eren asked the feline in his ear. Levi could only nod as he continued to let out loud moans and groans. Eren continued to thrust at different angles before he decided to lift Levi’s legs onto his shoulders. This position was much better as it allowed him to thrust in deeper. Judging by Levi’s groans, he’d have to say the other man agreed. After a few more thrusts, Eren finally found Levi’s prostate. Levi let out a scream of bliss when Eren thrust against the sensitive bundle of nerves. His eyes flew open and his fingers racked along Eren’s back leaving scratch marks in the wake. Levi was the first to fall over the edge. He let out one last loud scream of Eren’s name before he shot white streaks of cum between the two of them. Watching Levi orgasm was enough to send Eren into his own orgasm, shooting deep into his partner. Once they had both come to their senses, Eren rolled off of Levi. Levi wrinkled his nose at the feeling of Eren’s cum slowly dribbling out of his thoroughly fucked hole but was too tired to care. After a few more minutes of recovering, Eren stood up and made his way to the bathroom. Levi heard the water running before Eren came back with a towel and wiped Levi’s stomach off and then his own before throwing it into the laundry and settling back into bed. “So, did I do a good job?” Eren asked cheekily after a few minutes. “Brat,” Levi laughed and rolled to lay his head on Eren’s chest. “Is that a yes?” “That’s a ‘go to sleep and stop asking stupid questions’.” Levi snorted. “So, yes.” Eren laughed. “ Good night, Eren.” Levi said sternly. “’Night Levi.” Eren yawned and closed his eyes. Twas a good night indeed. “Levi, you okay?” Eren asked bringing Levi back to the present. “Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking of what’ll be like to be free again.” Levi lied. He didn’t feel like explaining to Eren that he was remembering their mating. The kid already had an inflated ego. “I’m looking forward to setting you free.” Eren smiled and hugged his mate. “I can’t wait to rule along side of you instead of over you.” “Me as well,” Levi smiled up at Eren before giving him a light kiss. “We need to get going, the banquet is starting soon.” “Alright,” Eren sighed. “Levi, if anything goes wrong-“ “Nothing is going to go wrong, Eren.” Levi cut him off. “We had this conversation last night.” “No, listen to me.” Eren said firmly. He rarely talked that way but he wanted Levi’s full attention. “If something goes wrong I want you to save yourself. Don’t worry about me, okay? I need you to get back to your family. You can stop my father but I alone am not going to be strong enough. I don’t have an army backing me but you do. You can stop him.” “Eren,” Levi said wide eyed. “Don’t talk like that. Nothing is going to happen. We are going to be fine and we are going to win.” “I sure hope you’re right,” Eren smiled sadly at the man he loved. “Trust me,” Levi said with conviction. “I have several tricks up my sleeve that I intend to use tonight.” “I do trust you,” Eren said with a smile. “I trust you with my life.” “Good,” Levi nodded. “Then let’s get going.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Chapter 19 The banquet seemed like any other that his father had thrown-at least to someone who didn’t know what the night had in store. The royals were being prissy as ever; throwing dignified insults at each other in the form of compliments, treating their Kyojin like scum and being overall unbearable. Eren couldn’t wait to get rid of them. For what it was worth, all the Kyojin were perfectly behaved. None of them let on that anything was out of the ordinary. They were silent for the most part; using body language to talk amongst themselves without being detected while their masters schmoozed. Eren was surprised to see Hanji at the banquet. She typically avoided them using excuses like tending to her patients and prepping for surgeries to get out of them. But today she was present and currently scaring off the royals by talking about illnesses and body parts. It made Eren laugh to watch her scare them off one by one. Typical Hanji. Eren avoided the food like the plague. He knew that there were muscle relaxers slipped into the food and he didn’t want to become compromised. He wanted to be the one to take down his father and needed all his muscles to do so. But for what it was worth, the food looked amazing. Around nine o’clock the atmosphere began to change. It was subtle and Eren suspected the only people that noticed were the Kyojin, Hanji, Erwin and himself. He noticed that the sky was brighter than it typically was and the moon that he could see out the window appeared to be much larger than normal. “Look how beautiful the moon is,” One lady commented in her obnoxious nasally voice. “I feel as though I could reach out and touch it.” “Look!” Another lady pointed out. “There are two moons in the sky!” “Since when has there been two moons?” Another commented. Eren looked briefly at Levi for explanation. Levi shook his head at Eren, which Eren knew meant he would tell him later but not to ask now. “How strange,” Kenny said in Eren’s ear. “I’ve never seen more than one moon before.” “Neither have I.” Eren said through a tight jaw. “It’s quite a phenomenon.” “You know,” Kenny said as he came to stand before Eren. “The Kyojin have a story talking about multiple moons.” “I have heard this story,” A new, deeper voice said. Eren immediately recognized the polite but firm voice as belonging to none other than Commander Erwin Smith. “But I’ve been assured by many Kyojin I work with that this is just a story.” “I don’t know,” Kenny sneered at Erwin. “The fact that there are now three moons in the sky may prove the story is real.” “Three moons hardly means anything.” Hanji’s loud voice called as she came to stand on either side of Eren and Kenny. “This is just a natural phenomenon.” “Doubt it.” Kenny scoffed. “They say that each moon makes each type of Kyojin more powerful. If all four of them are in the sky then all four types are at their most powerful right now.” Eren could see Levi’s gently swaying tail go rigid behind him out of the corner of his eye. It was a discrete almost unnoticeable change but it was enough to let Eren know that what Kenny was saying had some fact to it. “That’s a little bit much don’t you think?” Erwin said with a handsome smile. “We’ll see,” Kenny said and stalked off to find his next victim. “Is what he was saying true?” Eren whispered his question to Hanji and Erwin while keeping a smile plastered to his face. “Yes,” Hanji said and laughed to keep up the façade. “But all four of the moons rotate and have never been in the sky at once. Levi will have to explain that to me later.” “Armin told me a little bit of what is happening.” Erwin said. “He told me that the Caracals are able to call upon their spirits to help the Kyojin become the most powerful they’ve ever been. There’s some drawbacks but he didn’t go into detail about those.” “The drawbacks do not matter,” Levi whispered without moving his lips. “Let me and my tribe worry about those.” “Levi,” Eren said without looking behind him. “Promise me you aren’t doing something stupid.” “I’m not,” Levi said with conviction. “You know, I’ve seen the Caracals in action before,” Erwin changed the subject as his eyes flinted around the room. “Really? When?” Eren asked. “A long time ago,” Erwin told him with a smile. “I was new in the military and my father sent me on a mission. We somehow ended up in an avalanche and most of my team died because of it. Hanji and I almost died as well but Levi saved us.” “Levi?” Eren asked incredulously and heard Levi let out a quiet groan of disapproval behind him. “Yes, he found us on the brink of death and chose to save the two of us.” Erwin smiled a genuine smile. “He and his clan nursed Hanji and I back to health and then let us both go on the condition that we would help them by leading the military away from them.” “So you guys and Levi go way back then?” Eren said. “Yes,” Erwin nodded. “I was deeply saddened to learn about his capture.” “Guys, I suggest you find somewhere to duck under.” Levi said quietly. Eren, Hanji and Erwin swiftly dispersed but were careful not to move fast enough to spark suspicion. They went to opposite sides of the room so that no one would notice them moving as casually as possible. As soon as Eren was far away from the windows, he saw Levi in a way he never saw him before. Levi stood tall and proud like he had when he was talking to Annie a week and a half ago. When he stood up, the other Kyojin in the room turned their undivided attention on Levi. Some of the humans even looked at him. Levi’s pupils widened in true Caracal fashion and his ears fell back flat against his head. He surveyed the room quickly and then let out a terrifying sound. To say that it was the loudest sound Eren had ever heard in his life would be an understatement. There were no words that could describe the sound coming from Levi. The only thing Eren could compare it to would be a scream. But it was more than that. It sounded like a thousand screams at once. The sound reverberated and you could hear the pitch changes as he continued. The sound was so loud it broke the glasses and the windows. Once the sound had stopped, the doors to the dining room flew open and all of the Kyojin that were not required to be at the banquet charged forward with their weapons drawn. Eren saw knights like Jean and Reiner standing among his Kyojin friends like Sasha, Connie, Ymir and even nervous Bert. “This is a coup.” Levi said loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. His voice held the authority of a thousand kings and it echoed in the silence without Levi needing to raise his voice. “You can choose to surrender now or fight to the death. I assure you that if you choose not to surrender you will regret your decision.” “Why should we surrender to you-a Kyojin!” One snobby royal called. “Because,” Levi turned his terrifying gaze onto the lady that spoke. “I. Will. Kill. You.” And that’s when things erupted into utter and complete chaos. Kenny, who had been crouched on the ground leaped forward, dagger in hand and aimed for Levi. Levi didn’t even glance his direction before pulling out his own dagger and blocking the attack. “I was hoping you would do that,” Levi smiled menacingly at Kenny whose eyes widened at the murderous look of satisfaction on Levi’s face. Kenny and Nile’s cronies had decided to follow their boss’ lead and began to try to attack Levi. Before they could get very far the other Kyojin jumped in to help. The sound of metal on metal echoed through the room and screams of injured humans began to accompany them. More cronies burst into the room at the sounds of screaming but before they could get any further, Kyojin that Eren had never seen before came flying through the windows. They were all different types of Kyojin. Feline, Canine, Primates, and Leporidae. They were all dressed differently and clearly came from all over Titan but that did not seem to matter. While the palace had many Kyojin, Eren had never seen so many in his life and they were all wild. Immediately the largest Leopridae found their way to Bert, the Primates wasted no time seeking out Ymir and Canines that closely resembled Armin rushed to assist him. Eren was not prepared for the sheer number of Felines that burst into the room last. He recognized some Feline tribes easily. There were lions- the males had large beards and long blond hair. The Cougars were easy to spot as well. Levi had once told him that Cougars looked a lot like Caracals and he was right. While the Cougars were larger than most of the Caracals, the dark markings on their eyes and the consistent brown fur helped him pick them out among the crowd. Of course the Panthers were also easy to spot because they mostly looked like Mikasa. And then there was the Caracals. They had the largest population out of any of the tribes. Eren figured this was probably because they were the hardest to find and thus capture. They had the clothing that Levi had explained to him. Long tunics varied in color with dark pants that looked similar to those that slaves wore and of course, they had bare feet. They all had the same dark markings Levi had but he noticed that Levi was the only black Caracal. He made a mental note to ask Levi about that later. Just when Eren thought all the Kyojin had arrived, two more flew in behind the rest. These two were dressed slightly different that the others-even the other Caracals. They had the same nomadic clothing that Eren attributed to the Caracal tribe but had gold bands wrapped around their biceps and the female Caracal had a gold crown braided into her red hair. The moment their feet touched the ground bot Caracal crouched low and let out the same scream that Levi had but in unison. While theirs was louder, Levi’s was much more terrifying. Levi’s scream chilled you to the bone. Once they finished they ran towards Levi and wasted no time standing back to back with each other, creating a circle. Eren stood in awe as he watched the fight for a moment. The way the three moved made Eren realize that these two could be none other than Levi’s children. But before Eren could truly dwell on it, movement in the corner of his eye caught his attention. “No!” Eren shouted as he saw his father run out of the room. Eren immediately followed his father since everyone else was too busy with the enemies in front of them to notice that the King had been slowly and quietly sneaking away. Eren chased his father down the hall and into the throne room. “This ends here, Father.” Eren said as he came up behind the man. “I should’ve known that you were behind this.” His father spat as he turned to face him. “I couldn’t let your reign of terror continue.” Eren told him. “You weren’t going to stop so I had to stop you myself. You left me no choice.” “Foolish boy,” His father scoffed. “You’ve left me no choice.” Before Eren could ask his father what he meant, the King lunged forward with his blade in hand. Thanks to all of Levi’s training, Eren quickly dodged his father’s advances and grabbed for his own blade tucked in his pants. “It doesn’t have to end this way,” Eren reasoned with his father as he continued to avoid his attacks. “You can just surrender.” “I will never surrender!” His father hissed and lunged again, missing Eren’s left arm. “I can’t believe that I have failed. I was so excited to have a son but all you’ve become is a monumental disappointment.” “Maybe in your eyes,” Eren hissed at the insult as he ducked. “But I am not a disappointment to the thousands of Kyojin I am going to free when I win!” Before Eren could think, his father lunged at him dead on. Eren didn’t have enough time to evade the attack like he had been and he closed his eyes as he prepared for the pain he when his father’s sword pierced his skin. Instead, he heard a sickening crunch in front of him. Opening his eyes, Eren watched as his father crumpled to the ground with a dagger in his back. Eren looked up with wide eyes to see Levi walking towards him. “Normally I’d say I’m sorry but I’m not.” Levi shrugged. “He was about to kill you and I told you I wouldn’t let that happen. I don’t go back on my word.” “Thank you,” Eren breathed as Levi approached him. “You saved my life.” “Consider it my payback for saving mine.” Levi grinned as Eren hugged him. Before either of them could enjoy the moment Levi looked over Eren’s shoulders and his eyes widened is shock and fear. “Eren-“ Levi gasped in his ear trying to warn his mate. But it did no good; Eren heard a loud bang! accompanied by excruciating pain. He crumpled to the ground gasping for air. He had never felt anything like this. “You bastard!” Levi shouted before letting out one of his Caracal screams. “Did you really think that this would really work?” Eren heard Kenny laugh. “Did you really think you’d win? Sure, you killed the king but it’ll do no good if there’s no prince to take the throne.” “I’ll kill you!” Levi growled deep in his chest. “Now, now,” Kenny sang. “You wouldn’t want to get shot in the heart too would you?” “Levi-“ Eren gasped. He didn’t want Levi to be shot. He needed Levi to live but he couldn’t talk. It felt as though he was drowning. Before either man could engage each other further, there was a loud shout followed by another bang! The sound of bodies hitting the floor made Eren open his heavy eyes. It was so hard to stay awake. All he wanted to do was take a nap. Maybe a nap would help ease the pain. “Isabel!” Levi cried out in horror. Isabel? He hadn’t heard that name before. But judging by the tone of Levi’s voice he assumed that Isabel was Levi’s daughter’s name. Why was he screaming out for her?Eren felt Levi lower him to the ground before Levi’s presence left his side. Eren wasn’t mad though. If Levi’s daughter had been hurt he’d want Levi to go be with her. It seemed like an eternity before he heard footsteps thundering into the room. He didn’t have the energy to open his eyes to see who had come in but he still listened. “Dad,” A deep voice-but not as deep as Levi’s-said in distress. “She’s gone Dad.” “No,” Levi sobbed. “My baby!” “Dad, she’s gone!” The voice said again. “But Eren’s not! He’s still here, Dad.” More footsteps sounded before he felt someone lift his body up. He let out a weak whimper of pain at being moved. Why couldn’t they just let him sleep in peace? Why was that so damn hard to ask for? “Eren!” Levi cried. Hearing Levi’s voice made Eren’s irritation diminish. He couldn’t be mad if Levi was keeping him awake. Tears hit Eren’s cheek and he wanted nothing more than to tell Levi to stop crying. Levi shouldn’t cry. “Eren you need to stay awake for me. HELP!” Levi shouted at the top of his lungs. Eren wanted to stay awake. He wanted to comfort Levi and tell him everything was going to be okay but he just didn’t have the strength to do it. He tried but ultimately failed. “Hanji!” Levi screamed as more footsteps ran into the room. There must’ve been a lot of people in the room by that point. “Hanji, he’s been shot!” The young voice from earlier explained in earnest. “Eren!” Hanji called to him from far away. “Eren, wake up!” But he couldn’t. He was glad that they won though. His father was no longer able to dictate the Kyojin any longer and that’s what truly mattered. With his father gone, Levi and the other Kyojin were free and that’s all Eren ever wanted. That was his only real goal to begin with. Him living and building a life with Levi was just side dreams that he held on to. “Eren,” Levi cried out to him from far away. “I love you, Eren.” “I love you, too. I’m sorry I couldn’t see you be free.” Eren tried to say as everything faded to black. “Please be happy.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- EpilogueFive Years Later It was a sunny June day on Titan but that did not help lift the mood. Today was marked as “Heroes Day”. On this day every year all the Kyojin (and some humans) gathered together to remember the lives lost on the fateful night that the King was killed. While many humans argued that it should be a day of festivities and celebrations for the Kyojin, the Kyojin did not agree. Sure, they had finally been freed after generations of enslavement but that did not replace the fact that they had lost many of their friends and family members in order to be free again. The whole situation left many of them with sadness in their hearts. And this was how Levi found himself leading the tribes into the sacred “Heroes Graveyard”. The graveyard was constructed very shortly after the battle. It was a place where the heroes of the battle would be laid to rest. This included the ones that survived. The graveyard was massive-nearly the size of a small village. There were various statues and plaques set up around with the names of key players in the battle. The graveyard was also broken into sections each belonging to the individual types of Kyojin. Within those sections were subsections for each tribe. This not only made it easier to find a specific Kyojin but it also allowed them to be honored with their fellow tribe members. Each section was marked by huge gated golden arches with pictures of the type of Kyojin welded into them. They had different colored flowers that weaved their way up and over the arches. At the top of the arches were the names of the Kyojin type written in both human and Kyojin. The gates opened up to a small courtyard with a statue in the middle. The statues were of an especially vital person that was involved in the orchestration of the battle. Their names were carved into the base of the statue along with a small blurb about why they were important. In the Canine courtyard, the statue was of Armin. The Ape was of Ymir. The Leporidae had Bert. Levi led the Felines into their section stopping briefly to look at his own statue. The name printed under his statue read “Kyojin King Levi ‘The Fair’ of the Caracal”. Despite the mood of the day, he did take a small satisfaction that his statue was portrayed to at least be of decent height. Levi walked into his tribe’s section. While they had significantly less headstones than any other tribe, he still felt heavyhearted looking at the names. Some of the dead were among his closest friends. Names like Gunther and Nanaba made him especially sad. He continued on until he came to stop at the largest headstone. It was set apart from the rest because of the person’s rank. Some of the other headstones were larger than others because they were either heads of the Caracal hunting committee or the top hunter or the mates of said hunters and committee members. One’s mate held the same status in Caracal society as the highest-ranking mate. Basically, whoever had the highest rank, their mate inherited that rank. Levi let out a sad sigh and rested his hand on the headstone. Even though it had been five years since that fateful battle, he never stopped feeling the sadness of losing those who were dear to him. He doubted he ever would. “Papa?” A tiny voice squeaked and Levi felt a light tug on his tunic. Levi would recognize that voice anywhere, even in the deepest of sleep. The voice belonged to his precious daughter. While no one could replace Isabel, he knew that having a daughter was a sign from the universe for him to know that it was okay to move on, to let go of his sadness. While the birth of his daughter had in fact help ease some of the pain, he also knew it would never go away. “What is it, Kitten?” Levi let his soft gaze fall on the little girl standing at his feet. “This is sad.” She pouted and extended her arms above her head so Levi would pick her up. “I don’t like it.” “It’s a sad day, baby.” He told her gently and picked her up, settling her on his hip. “On this day, five years ago, we lost a lot of people.” “Oh,” The girl said. “Is that why everyone is so sad?” “Yes,” Levi explained to her. “A lot of Kyojin died. All these headstones have the names of individuals who passed.” “Wow,” The little Caracal breathed as she looked around. It was moments like these that she reminded Levi of Eren. Of course she looked like Eren, seeing as he contributed half his DNA into her. But it was more than her gorgeous green eyes and her slightly tan skin. Eren was there in her curiosity, the way she spoke, when she was downright stubborn and in her passion, Eren was always there. Sure, she looked like Levi too. While her eyes may be green like Eren’s, she had Levi’s silky (and tamable) black locks, his round nose, his thin lips and of course, she had inherited the ears and tail of a Caracal. She was, as Farlan put it, the perfect mix of human and Caracal. “Papa,” The little girl whined after a few more minutes of silence. “Yes?” He held back a chuckle at her lack of patience. That was Eren too. “I’m hungry.” She complained. “Can we go now? There’s no one else here.” Levi looked around and realized that she was right everyone had gone back already. Levi must’ve lost track of time again. “Yes, we can go back now.” Levi patted her on the head before setting her down on the ground and taking her tiny hand in his. The father-daughter duo slowly made their way out of the graveyard and back to the castle. Levi stopped along the way to buy her a new dress for her favorite doll as a present for being such a good girl. He figured the gift would be enough to keep her happy for the rest of the long walk home. While the walk was not something that he knew would bother her as far as stamina went, he knew that long walks sometimes bore her and he didn’t feel like dealing with her asking him “are we there yet?” five million times. Thankfully, the dress did in fact keep his little one busy for the remainder of the walk and it wasn’t much longer before they reached the inside of the castle. The moment they were through the doors, a familiar smiling face greeted them. “Grandma!” The little girl squealed and raced towards the woman. “Hi there!” The woman laughed and picked up the tiny Caracal. “Hi, Carla.” Levi smiled at the woman. Carla was the only royal who held power at the time of the coup that survived. This was mostly due to the fact that she wasn’t even at the castle that night in the first place. Carla was visiting an old friend whom she called Ilse in Sina. Levi had a hunch that Eren tipped her off but he wasn’t angry. He knew that she would’ve instantly surrendered had she been in the castle. So no matter where she was, she was going to live. Levi didn’t like having to explain to her what had happened. He let Armin and Mikasa do most of the talking when she had returned the following evening. He stood next to his cousin and occasionally nodded in agreement but never offered much input. He was surprised when Carla hugged him after finding out about Eren. He had expected her to yell or scream at him. Hell he would’ve even let her blame him because he was already doing that himself. But a hug was completely unexpected. So much so that he began to cry. The hug made the whole thing real finally. “Did you and Papa have a fun afternoon together?” Carla asked the little girl. “Uh huh!” The little girl nodded her head wildly before showing Carla the new doll’s dress. “Papa got my doll a new dress!” “It’s very pretty,” Carla told her before setting the girl down. “Why don’t you go put it on your doll and show Uncle Farlan?” “Okay!” The girl agreed before racing in the direction of her room, leaving Carla and Levi alone. “Farlan’s here?” Levi asked once the girl was out of sight. “Yes, he came back for the night. He said he was going to spend the night before returning to the waterfall.” Carla told him. “How’d it go today?” “Same as always,” Levi admitted honestly. “It never gets any easier.” “It probably never will,” Carla said sadly. “But they wouldn’t want you to be sad anymore, Levi. You have a wonderful life now. You’re free again and you have a child.” “I know,” Levi smiled softly. “And I’m thankful but I just miss them. They would’ve loved Kainda.” “They would have,” Carla smiled. “I’ll let you go get ready for dinner.” “I’ll see you then,” Levi smiled before turning to make his way to his room. He opened the door to his room and immediately made his way to the bed. For a long moment he just sat and thought about everything. He thought about the battle and how hard it was to say goodbye to Isabel. He thought about how he found out that he was pregnant with Kainda and how happy he was but also how sad he was. The years following the battle and resuming power of the Kyojin. And finally, he thought about Eren. He was so deep in thought that he didn’t hear the door open and actually jumped when a hand touched his bicep. “Sorry!” The man apologized when Levi scratched him. “Didn’t mean to startle you.” “Jesus, Eren.” Levi complained but allowed Eren to pull him against his stupidly broad chest. “Why’d you do that?” “I thought you heard me,” He laughed. “Obviously not!” “Sorry,” Eren half heartedly apologized. “What were you thinking about?” “Everything,” Levi admitted while he played with his wedding ring. It took a lot of convincing for Levi to finally indulge in “a stupid human ritual” but when he realized how important it was to Eren, he finally caved and got married. Levi decided that it wasn’t that bad of a ritual but he never told Eren. He had a feeling that Eren already knew that though. “I miss Isabel too,” Eren said knowing what Levi had actually meant. “Have you seen Kainda since we got back?” Levi changed the subject. “Yes,” Eren decided not to push the topic any further. “She came and found Farlan and I to show us her new doll dress.” “She really likes that dress,” Levi hummed happily. There was nothing like watching his mate interact with their kitten. “Yes, she does.” Eren agreed with a chuckle. “We need to stop spoiling her.” “I’m not spoiling her.” Levi grumbled. “I’m just keeping her happy.” “If by ‘happy’ you mean pacifying then yes, you are.” Eren flicked Levi’s ear. “I don’t pacify my kittens,” Levi complained. “It’s okay to spoil her a little, Levi,” Eren told him. “But in reality, we need to start teaching her about how to rule soon.” “She’s five.” Levi scowled at the idea of forcing his daughter to grow up so young. “Farlan told me that he learned how to run the tribe when he was two,” Eren said. “That was under completely different circumstances,” Levi told him. “We were being enslaved and I needed to know that there would be someone to take my place should something happen. We aren’t being enslaved anymore, Eren. Hell, the tribe fucking lives out back.” It was true, the tribe did live behind the castle. Levi had decided after the fall of the King that he was going to rule along side Eren should he survive the gunshot wound. When Eren pulled through, Levi got to work constructing a suitable living area for his tribe. While they were nomadic by nature, Levi found that if he built a shelter behind the castle then the tribe could go back and forth between the shelter and the cave every few seasons. In the hot season, the Caracal moved to the cave where it was cooler and they could be present at the newly revived festival. Levi followed them for a month (give or take a week or two) so that he could make an appearance at the festival. Eren was against Levi leaving him behind but when Levi explained that this was one of few times the general Kyojin public would see him outside the castle except for meetings with their tribal heads, Eren relented. While the Kyojin had no problem with Levi taking Eren for a mate, it was still important to them-and to Levi too- that Levi participate in Kyojin rituals, government and festivals. He was still a huge part of their society and Eren fully respected that. In the cooler seasons, the Caracal rejoin Levi at the castle and stay in the shelter. While Levi doesn’t typically sleep in the shelter with his tribe (unless he’s mad at Eren), he does spend a great deal of his time with them. This also allows for their daughter to learn to hunt, understand ranking and social structure and how to be a Caracal in general. Sometimes, Eren will spend time in the shelter with his child and husband as well. All in all, it was a good set up they had going. It wasn’t just the Caracal that remained close by. Armin’s tribe also remained in the area. This was mostly because Armin didn’t want to leave the castle or his friends and so the tribe decided to stay with him. They didn’t live on castle grounds like the Caracal but they stayed in the nearby forest. Occasionally, Levi would run into a stray retriever or two around the castle but he didn’t mind. The castle doors were always open to Kyojin looking to visit. The same went for Mikasa’s tribe. They lived a little bit further out that the retrievers since they were much more cautious by nature, but that didn’t stop the more curious youngsters from tumbling into Levi and sparking a play session or two. Eren never told Levi how adorable he thought it was to watch Levi tussle around on the ground with a few Panther cubs and their own kitten. There was nothing cuter to Eren than Levi allowing tiny kittens to chew on his tail and ears without complaint. “She’ll learn in her own time,” Levi finally sighed and butted heads with Eren. “She’s got a lot of time before she needs to worry about ruling anything. Caracals live a long time and she’s got a predecessor already in line on my side. She’ll be fine.” “I suppose so,” Eren relented. “We should probably join everyone for dinner.” “After you, King Jaeger.” Levi teased as he held open their bedroom door. “Why thank you, King Jaeger.” Eren laughed. さよならひとり　抱きあうようにこの世界に咲きみだれてさよならひとり　悲しまないでこの世界に咲き誇る花よ Goodbye, so that we can embrace each other again You bloom all around in this world A single goodbye, don't be sad In this world, (you’re) a flower that blooms in full glory Fin.
10438773	The First Days of Spring	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": null, "Fandom": "The Beatles", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Not Rated", "author": "by The Key To Imagine (whiskeywit)", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-25T00:00:00", "words": "851", "Additional Tags": null, "Relationship": "John Lennon/Paul McCartney", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	It's the first day of springAnd my life is starting over againThe trees grow, the river flowsAnd its water will wash away my sinsFor I do believe that everyone has one chanceTo fuck up their livesBut like a cut down tree, I will rise againAnd I'll be bigger and stronger than ever before For I'm still here hoping that one day you may come backFor I'm still here hoping that one day you may come back There's a hope in every new seedAnd every flower that grows upon the earthAnd though I love you, and you know thatWell I no longer know what that's worthBut I'll come back to you in a year or soAnd I'll rebuild, be ready to becomeOh the person, you believed inOh the person, that you used to love For I'm still here hoping that one day you may come backFor I'm still here hoping that one day you may come back “John,” Paul stares, his warm breath not forming clouds in the air, the first time this year.John only stares back – he doesn't reply, doesn't even react, only stands there like a statue. Paul tries again.“John!” He is shouting now, not caring about anyone who might hear him. Paul wants to be heard, after all, heard by John.Who is still standing there, and still staring.Paul takes a step forward, which is starting to become more difficult now he is growing older, and he knows it will continue until so many years have passed that he does not have the energy to walk anymore. Then takes another step.John is shaking his head, and Paul knows it's because he can't touch John, isn't allowed to – it's one of the many impossibilities that used to be possible before.But that was before everything that had happened.And yet each year, no matter whether the walking is becoming more difficult, or facing John harder – because he doesn't age anymore, hasn't changed a bit since the first time Paul saw him – which was a while after the last time he'd seen John when he was still alive.Since spring 1981, however, this has been ritual.John never speaks. Never has showed any emotion. He only stands there, staring at Paul, with the barrier of air between them, shaking his head when Paul wants to cross it. And somehow, both of them know Paul can not pass the barrier, can't possibly walk through the air between them like he could have before, because... something could happen. Something will.And even so, without talking and since spring 1981, Paul has the feeling they are slowly fixing things. They are slowly resolving matters that have been bothering them before.Each time he sees John he feels it. And each time until now he forgot about it afterwards, about the entire meeting, for the rest of the year. Until the spring of the next year comes: he will see John and remember all the previous times. He will think that they are on their way talking out problems with their eyes – and the last couple of years these feelings have intensified. But the next morning when he would wake up, it was without being able to recall what happened the day before.Paul is certain he will remember this year.Because he is doing what he hasn't done before: he is reaching towards John. Even as John is starting to shake his head again, lifting an arm and trying to tell him, Please, no, Paul, you shouldn't.“Let me, John,” Paul whimpers hoarsely, his voice heavy on emotion, pushing forwards through the air that actually feels heavy to his touch, cold and icy, and for the first time he notices John is not breathing. His chest doesn't move, and his shoulders don't hitch the moment Paul's fingers make contact with John's chest – the image of his former best friend and band mate falling apart in the shape of snowflakes that immediately start melting under the pale spring sun. He wants to cry, but can't bring himself to it.He knows next year, they'll be able to see each other again, and the year after, and thereafter, until the moment Paul is able to cross the barriers for real and touch John without making him fall apart. He knows that these are just tiny snippets of the future, preparing him for what is to come. For the new start they'll be given.Because he knows that he and John can't be without each other. Because he once believed and loved John, with his entire heart and soul, and even after all that has passed... Yes. He still does.One day the first days of spring will arrive again, and they will laugh and cry - together. Because everybody is allowed to fuck up once in life – and then get the chance to put it right again.The next morning when Paul wakes up, he wakes up happy because he remembers this new prospect, their new future.
10498473	my life before was	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Grant Ward, Skye \| Daisy Johnson, Jemma Simmons", "Fandom": "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by SafelyCapricious", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-30T00:00:00", "words": "1,918", "Additional Tags": "Alternate Universe - Magic, Magical Tattoos, Miscommunication", "Relationship": "Jemma Simmons/Grant Ward", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "i put a spell on you", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	The circle is almost complete when he walks into the room. The collar of his untreated cotton shirt is damp and he smells faintly of the herbs they’d given him in a packet to bathe with before coming. Trip waves him forward towards the thin matt in the center of the circle and he goes, careful not to smudge any of the magic lines as he steps across and settles down. The matt isn’t usually included, but he and Jemma will have to lie there for quite some time, and it’s kind of her friends to include it – though not surprising.He feels his breath catch in his throat when Jemma enters through the same door he’d come in. Her untreated cotton shirt is exactly the same as his, but her wet hair has left rivulets down her skin that the shirt sticks to.She settles next to him and he’s so entranced by her warmth that he doesn’t realize he’s ignoring the directions until she smiles and helps him lie back. He wants to curl around her but he can’t – the pressure of her arm against his and her fingers entwined with his will have to do for now. Time seems to jump for a moment, movement and magic happening around them, and then he feels the binding take hold and – no.No!It’s all wrong!He’d known they’d favor her but – he can feel the cords twisting around him and soon he can’t feel the heat of Jemma at his side and she’s leaning over him and frowning, sadly. “I’m sorry, Grant, did you think we’d actually let you carry on?" He can’t speak as they steal the magic from him and it hurts and hurts and hurts –He sits up with a gasp, fingers clenched white around his sheets. The room is grey – the sun hasn’t risen yet and everything has that stillness between night and day and he is covered with sweat.He runs a hand over his face and reaches for the water he left by his bed but it’s empty and with a snarl he kicks off his sheet and stalks out of his bedroom.It’s been almost a month since they performed the spell to remove Christian’s (and his parent’s) ability to threaten anyone. It’s been almost a month since he’s seen Jemma anywhere but his dreams.He pads silently down his hallway, ignoring the new lightning the cracks the paint and has burned the floors as he heads into the kitchen. He doesn’t let himself look at the chairs by the counter – heading straight to the sink and floating a glass as he does.The water is cool, sliding down his throat, and he closes his eyes and reflexively tries to check on Jemma before he’s stabbed with the fact that he can’t – not anymore. The bond between their tattoos had finally faded to nonexistence nine days ago.The dreams have gotten worse, since then.He has spells that could take them away, of course, but none to control what he dreams and so it would just be dark and rest and silence and –He’d rather dream of Jemma actually ripping his heart out a thousand times than not have her there at all. Not, of course, that he doesn’t think of her a thousand times a day already. Sometimes he can direct his thoughts to the kiss or – or before. Mostly he sees her standing there, smiling, her spell complete and telling him that it’s sorted and it’s time for him to leave. Mostly it’s him remembering how he almost didn’t, how he almost refused and took her and – but then he’d looked and seen the tense line of her friends, knowing what he was thinking, and the trusting smile she was giving him and –She looked at him like he was better than he was, and somehow it made him want to pretend to be what she saw. So he’d left – he’d kissed her hand because he couldn’t not, and he’d left.And he hasn’t seen her since.He knows that he won’t be able to walk away twice, not peaceably.A sharp spike against his wards shatters his thoughts and he puts his glass in the sink and waves a hand so his window shows him where it came from. For a moment he thinks it’s Jemma – but then his spell focuses in and he sees it’s her friend, the small angry Skye, poking at his wards and stomping her feet. He instinctively reaches for Jemma before he again remembers the lack of connection.With a wave of his hand the wards let her through and he heads towards the front door. She gets there before him – she must have run – and is already pounding on the door when he opens it and leans against the frame. “What.”“You asshole,” she snarls, lips curled back in a way that reminds him of his dragon.His dragon bares its own fangs and he arches an eyebrow.She clearly doesn’t need permission to continue, though he’s impressed with her bravery as she jams a finger into his chest. His magic burns her and she pulls back with a hiss but it doesn’t seem to stop her tirade. “You’re such an asshole!” she says, and then, talking a mile a minute she turns away from him, pacing and ranting. He only catches bits and pieces until he hears “Jemma’s hurt and how –“ and suddenly he’s out of his doorway and gripping her upper arms with a punishing grip.“Jemma’s hurt?” his voice is terribly soft, shaking the house under them slightly. “Who hurt her? Where is she?” She blinks up at him, stunned, and doesn’t respond immediately, so he shakes her and asks the most important question. “Where is she?”Her lips start to curl into a smirk and if she wasn’t the easiest source of information now he’d kill her but then she says, “her house,” and he’s summoned a jacket and is stepping into a materialized car before she’s finished catching her balance from his releasing her. He doesn’t bother to wonder if she has the common sense to leave his property before his wards kick her out – he knows she doesn’t.The drive passes in a second, his car sliding into one of the parking places behind the magic shop. The staircase in the back that leads straight to her apartment is warded so strongly he can taste the ozone, but it doesn’t so much as tingle when he steps onto it, her wards accepting him easily and he has to wonder why she hasn’t changed that yet but it doesn’t matter because she’s hurt.The door opens before he gets to it and there she is. He can’t immediately see any damage, she’s wearing a large sweater over leggings and she could be hiding wounds under it but her kitten is hissing at him from her revealed collarbone and her eyes are red and wide and she only manages to say, “Wh—Grant?” before he has her face cradled in his hands as his magic searches hers.He couldn’t taste her, before, the wards on the doorway hiding her but as he steps her backwards into her house he can roll her around his mouth and she’s sour apples and warm bread and the astringent tint of witch-hazel and he’ll kill whoever put that bitterness in her. “Where are you hurt? Who hurt you?” he asks, eyes searching her face and she just stares back up at him, her fingers having come up to lightly curl around his wrists where he’s cradling her face. “I’ll kill them,” he adds, conversationally as she keeps staring.She wets her lips and his gaze drops before he tears it back up to her face. “Grant,” she says, voice shaking and he doesn’t know who did this to her but it’s clearly not an immediate threat so he pulls her into his chest and kisses the top of her head and holds her.“It’s okay, sweetheart. I’ve got you. It’s okay.” Her hair smells like peaches and he thinks he’d be happy to die here, but not before he kills whoever hurt her. *** Jemma is going to kill Skye. Or kiss her.She’s a little torn, to be honest.Grant’s arms are warm and solid around her and his magic feels like a down comforter wrapped securely around her. His chest is bare, she can see, pressed against him as she is, and his jacket is only zipped up halfway.He’s not wearing any shoes.What did Skye tell him?Maybe it wasn’t Skye but – no, the other woman had made an excuse about needed to get ice cream (clearly a lie since Jemma had purchased the entire selection the last time she’d gone shopping and even she couldn’t eat her own weight in ice cream in three days) and had vanished only half an hour before. Why was he here? That was a good question. Much better than her first reaction of stunned silence.“Why,” she asks, finally, wincing at how weak her voice sounds in her own ears, “are you here?”“Someone hurt you,” he says, conversationally, like it should be obvious, like it’s any sort of answer. Her arms, hanging limply from where they’d fallen after his hands had left his face, curl around him, under the jacket, while her brain tries to muddle through the logic of what he’s said since he arrived.Because of course someone hurt her.He hurt her.He hurt her and wasn’t that what he wanted? Or no, probably he didn’t want to hurt her, he probably didn’t even care enough to hurt her – but he’d gotten his solution and whatever else he’d wanted from her so she hadn’t mattered anymore and –“Shh, it’s okay, love, I’ve got you.”She’s crying into his chest and the next thing she knows they’re on her sad worn down couch, her curled up in his lap and sobbing and his magic is pressing warm comforting into her skin. She wants to ask why he’s there – if there’s something else he needs – but more than that she wants to ask him to stay. What if you stayed this time, she thinks at him, but she doubts she has the strength to say it and instead she cries more about him in the comfort of his arms.“Who is it, Jemma?” he asks, once her sobs have settled into small sniffles and silent misery, “Who hurt you?”“You,” she says, because she’s tired and weary and feels warm for the first time since she realized he wasn’t coming back. He’d left after the ritual like nothing was wrong, with a kiss on her hand and a smirk and she’d smiled and known he would be back the next day or – if he’d gotten involved in one of his projects, a few days later but He never came.No one had seen him around town, paying attention to some other woman, so there was that but –The first week was fine. After the second people started to give her looks. By the third they’d started on comments and pats on her back about how she was a nice young woman and he’d done this sort of thing before.She hadn’t believed it.She hadn’t.But he’d never come and –“You,” she repeats into the skin of his throat, refusing to move, “you’re the one who hurt me.”
10472472	my dads can beat your	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": null, "Characters": "Peter Parker, James \"Bucky\" Barnes, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Steve Rogers, Mary Jane Watson (background)", "Fandom": null, "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by oh_no_oh_dear", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-27T00:00:00", "words": "1,612", "Additional Tags": "Domestic, Peter is just excited to be here you guys, Father Figures, Fluff, chosen family, Avengers - Freeform, Kinda", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "James \"Bucky\" Barnes/Sam Wilson, James \"Bucky\" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson, Peter Parker/Mary Jane Watson (background)", "Series": "tungle dot hell", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "Captain America (Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types", "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": "F/M, M/M, Multi", "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Steve Rogers Captain America “Call Me Steve” is A Lot. His smile is wholesome, his muscles are quietly humming ‘America the Beautiful,’ and his whole aura is somewhere between Mr. Rogers riding a tank through a wall and a Golden Lab that has been taught to use a rifle somehow. Peter had made a kind of weird squeak when Captain America “Call Me Steve” had casually offered to have him over for dinner (as a gesture of good will, he’d said. No hard feelings about that brawl in the airport, right?), which the man had graciously ignored. “Dinner?” “Yeah, you interested?” Captain America “Call Me Steve” asked, leaned casually against the wall as though Peter didn’t have literal colouring books with his image at home (they were from when he was a kid, okay?) “…like, at your house-place?” The words fell from his mouth before he could stop them, and he wondered if he could convince Mr. Stark to fling him directly into the sun. He was sure the man had some invention that could handle such a task. Or maybe Peter could work on one? Captain America “Call Me Steve” looked like he was trying very hard not to laugh. “Yes, at my house… place.” Peter didn’t care that the amusement was plain in the older man’s voice; he was just glad that Captain America “Call Me Steve” seemed charmed rather than irritated. Because Peter Parker was a frickin’ nerd. “I gotta ask my Aunt,” Peter mutters now, frowning a little. He’d promised her -- no more lies. And he wanted to keep it; she was too important to him. Captain America “Call Me Steve” nods as though that’s the most understandable thing in the world. “I can put in a good word,” he says. “It’s just a little get-together, us and the gang... thought you deserved a burger just as much as any other Avenger.” Any. Other. Avenger. Peter’s mouth feels dry; Mr. Stark hadn’t officially asked him to join yet, but he’d provided backup for a couple of their missions without much trouble (there was that time that his webbing got caught on that flying saucer, but...) and the team seemed to like him. Even if they did ask him about his homework a lot. (Aunt May says yes, sure, of course. She sounds a little bit breathy when Captain America “Call Me Steve” hands Peter his phone back.) Bucky Barnes, formerly Winter Soldier is staring hard at Peter, and Peter is wondering if this is his last night on earth. The man has barely blinked in the last 15 seconds (Peter counted), and while his facial expression isn’t exactly threatening, it has a calculated blankness to it that is a little bit unnerving. Peter just wanted to play Monopoly, is that so bad? “Kid,” Bucky Barnes, formerly Winter Soldier says, finally leaning back in his chair and taking a huge swig of his beer, “what’re you, 13?” “I’m gonna be 16 soon,” Peter says, bristling a little. Everyone’s always calling him a kid; he’s fought off bad guys and is hardly ever late for class and he’s only 2 years off from being able to drink in Quebec, Canada! Bucky Barnes, formerly Winter Soldier nods, looking suddenly ... happy? “You’re good at jumping over stuff, right?” The question puzzles Peter, but he’s already nodding, knowing that this was yet another chance to prove himself. Bucky Barnes, formerly Winter Soldier leans in closer to Peter, glancing around conspiratorially. “Cap’s got a trampoline,” he says in a low voice. “Yeah, I know. Previous neighbours left it. The point is--” Bucky Barnes, formerly Winter Soldier is fucking insane. Peter is so excited. “Nice one, kid!” Bucky Barnes, formerly Winter Soldier yells. Peter can barely hear him over the air rushing past his ears. It had seemed like a good idea for Bucky Barnes, formerly Winter Soldier to throw Peter as hard as he could at the trampoline, for Peter to use his natural acrobatic talents to turn the resulting upward spring into an awesome midair flip. They wanted to see if Peter could get airborne. For science. Captain America “Call Me Steve” looks really worried. It’s hard to tell from up here. Sam Wilson (a.k.a. The Falcon!) is the best. Just.. the best guy. He’d pushed past Captain America "Call Me Steve" and Bucky Barnes, formerly Winter Soldier to shimmy up the street lamp, helping Peter get untangled from the dangerous wires with no indication that the pair of them could get electrocuted at any second. But then, Sam Wilson (a.k.a. The Falcon!) wasn’t scared of anything, he didn’t have any powers (Peter wasn’t 100% on that, because some of the stunts Sam Wilson [a.k.a. The Falcon!] pulled with those wings didn’t seem possible no matter how long Peter thought about it) but he kept up with Captain America “Call Me Steve” no problem. And now he was bandaging Peter’s arm. He’s the best. Peter decides he’s gotta let Sam Wilson (a.k.a. The Falcon!) know. “I know, man,” Sam Wilson (a.k.a. The Falcon!) says, shaking his head. “You told me like 4 times. Not arguin’, though. You got a hell of an adrenaline high right now, huh?” Peter likes that Sam Wilson (a.k.a. The Falcon!) calls him ‘man,’ and not ‘kid’ or some variation thereof. “You can’t let Barnes talk you into stupid shit,” Sam Wilson (a.k.a. The Falcon!) says, and Peter also likes that he doesn’t censor himself, he talks to Peter like he’s any of the team. He braces himself for a lecture, though. He and Bucky Barnes, formerly Winter Soldier had been pretty stupid even if it was totally worth it. Instead, Sam Wilson (a.k.a. The Falcon!) is saying, “You can’t arch your back that much when you’re at the apex of your jump or you’ll overshoot your target. Next time--” Next time! There’s a next time! “--I’ll show you a coupla tricks I picked up from flying. Bet you’ll stick the landing better next time.” Sam Wilson (a.k.a The Falcon!) is nice and funny is bandaging Peter’s arm and is just as crazy as Bucky Barnes, formerly Winter Soldier. Peter can’t help it; he knows he looks a little bit sad when it’s time to go home. He’d had so much fun; Bucky Barnes, formerly Winter Soldier and Sam Wilson (a.k.a. The Falcon!) made great Monopoly game partners, both of them ruthlessly trying to destroy the other. Peter had sneakily used their distraction with each other to win the game. They were both impressed. Captain America “Call Me Steve” had given Peter the biggest burger he’d ever held in his hands. It was perfectly done and Peter didn’t even mind that it had pickles because Captain America “Call Me Steve” had made him a burger! For him! Specifically! And now it was time to go and he would probably never get to hang out with them like this again-- “You busy next weekend?” Sam Wilson (a.k.a. The Falcon!) is asking, leaning against Bucky Barnes, formerly Winter Soldier. He’s got a beer in his hand and his aviator sunglasses are hanging from the collar of his t-shirt and he’s so cool. “No,” Peter says. His voice doesn’t squeak. Score. “Ask your Aunt May if you can come over; we’re doing sushi,” Captain America “Call Me Steve” says, sauntering over and standing close to Sam Wilson (a.k.a. The Falcon!) Peter says he will, already excited because he knows Aunt May will say yes. Captain America “Call Me Steve” tells him to bring his history homework, if he needed help with it. Peter laughs, thinking he’s joking. He’s not. Update #1: Bucky Barnes, formerly Winter Soldier loves Say Yes to the Dress, but don’t tell anyone. Update #2: Peter just came back from movie night with Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson (a.k.a. The Falcon!), and Captain America “Call Me Steve” Rogers. He’d been brave enough to bring Mary Jane. He also realized that it was something like a couples movie night, sometime around the time Sam Wilson leaned his head on Steve Roger’s shoulder. He also makes another realization when Bucky Barnes drapes his arm across the back of the couch, easily resting against the other men’s shoulders. Oh. Oh, okay. Peter thinks that’s really modern of them, especially considering two of them are, like, 100 years old. Later on, Peter kisses MJ for the first time. Bucky ruins it by turning on the porch light and whooping. Steve apologizes, but he’s got that ‘Haha Not Really’ look. Sam laughs until he cries, and threatens to Snapchat the look on Peter’s face (he doesn’t.) MJ covers her face, but she’s laughing too. Peter hopes it’s not at his kissing skills (later she tells him it’s not. He chooses to believe her.) Update #3: It’s kinda weird having three sorta-kinda-dads who are all varying levels of Fucking Irresponsible (Sam’s words, shortly before dive-bombing Bucky into the pool), but Peter (and later, MJ) never misses a Sunday night dinner at the Wilsonrogersbarnes residence. Unless there’s, like, giant robots to fight or something? But then they go for dinner after anyway. Peter’s pretty psyched about the whole thing; Steve’s gonna let him throw the shield later on! ETA: Steve shouldn’t have let Peter throw the shield. Next door neighbour demanding payment for windows. Bucky’s laughing, Sam’s doubled over, and Steve is really pink as he tries to calm his 90-year-old neighbour. Peter wonders if Sam will let him try out the Falcon wings if he asks really really nicely.
10422051	those neighbor girls	{ "Archive Warning": null, "Category": "F/F", "Characters": "Ell (Eddsworld), Tori (Eddsworld), Juan (Eddsworld), Tamara (Eddsworld), Marcia (Eddsworld), Edwanda (Eddsworld)", "Fandom": "Eddsworld - All Media Types", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by orphan_account", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-24T00:00:00", "words": "1,693", "Additional Tags": "Ellsworld, Fluff, Awkwardness, Flirting, Bad Flirting, Polyamory, OT3, Mirror Universe, Gay", "Relationship": "Ell/Tori/Juan (Eddsworld)", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply", "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Birds were chirping, the sun was shining brightly down on the new, sunny day.It seemed like the perfect day to go outside and spend time with your friends doing fun activities, like going to the mall, having a picnic by a hill, going for a drive to a restaurant, or even running around in the park for exercise. ...Or, maybe instead, you should go outside and yell at your neighbor.“Hey, loser!”"Edwaaaaaandaaaa!"Tori watched with a smirk as her friend angrily marched up to her rival neighbor, Edwanda. The two had been at each other’s throats for some time now, Tori couldn’t remember whatever it was that sparked the rivalry between the two, but whenever the two would argue with one another, she couldn’t help but watch.Only Ell would ever try to engage the one out of the three, she just couldn’t resist to try and think of a snarky response to Edwanda’s otherwise schoolyard-level of taunting.She didn’t really mind, as long as it didn’t break out into a full-fledged catfight. In that case, she might have to make bets with Tamara about who would win, while Matilda would most likely try to break up the fight but accidentally become apart of it.Luckily, it never quite escalated to that level. Edwanda would only really poke fun at Ell before laughing with her other two friends and going back inside of their house.While she listened in on the argument between the two, she noticed something. --Or, in this case, she noticed someone . Could it had just been her imagination, or was one of Edwanda’s friend totally checking her out right now?There was one girl, kind of short, wore blue jackets and pants, but sometimes she would see her wearing a skirt or shorts, but she seemed to like dark blue the most. She had two small pinktails that were accompanied by small, lacy blue ribbons.What was her name again...Joanna? Jessica? Jay? She knew it started with a J.Whatever her name was, she gazed over to Tori with a soft small on her lips, and Tori stared back in silence, but smiled back to her, not wanting to be rude.Then, she raised her hand and gave her a short wave, in which, Tori humbly waved back, happily accepting the sweet little greeting. She was pretty cute.After a few moments, she didn’t even notice that Ell had already turned around and walked back over, huffed and ticked off. Even though a cute girl just noticed her--she had to put her friends first, and Tori turned around to face Ell, who had her arms crossed.“You okay, butterfly?” Tori asked, voiced laced with obvious concern. Ell picked up and stared at her with a half smile. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine…Edwanda, just, ya know.” “Heh, yeah…” Tori trailed off a bit, staring back over to that J-something girl, who wasn’t looking at her anymore, but now discussing something with Marcia. Tori folded her arms, pausing for a moment. She hesitated to ask this question, but swallowed first, and turned to face Ell again“Hey, Ell?” Ell looked back at her. “Yeah?”“What’s that girl’s name, over there?” She said, spotting her out and pointing at her.Ell looked over to where she was pointing, and turned back. “You mean Juan?”“Juan!” Tori said aloud, smacking her forehead in realization. “Ha, I knew it started with a J!” Although she felt like she already knew the answer, Ell cocked an eyebrow at her close friend, a bit suspicious of her intentions. “Why?”“Ell, she’s totally adorable!” Tori said without hesitation, almost loud enough for her to hear.“Juan? Really?” Ell questioned, looking over to the said girl in question. “I mean, yeah, she is cute and all, but she’s a little mean, isn’t she?” She asked, just nervous about Tori’s romantic pursuits. She had a few bad relationships in the past, and just didn’t want her friend to get hurt.“Ell, I’m mean.” Tori said, pointing to herself.“No, you’re not--“Yeah she is! ” Tamara shouted from inside the house, followed by a laugh.Ell rolled her eyes as Tori stuck her tongue at Tamara, who immediately stuck her tongue out right back at her. Ell thought the two were just like little children on the playground.Ell sighed aloud “Okay...you’re...kind of a bitch sometimes. No offense.” she admitted with heist.“None taken.” Tori said with an almost devil-ish grin, as if it were a compliment.“Aside that,--Tori, are you really sure you want to date one of the neighbors? I mean, it’s kind of weird, isn’t it?” Ell asked her, still concerned for her friend.“Pfft, what, she’s not wearing red, so it’s not like she’s my color-coded rival, Ell.” Tori snickered. “Fair enough.” Ell smiled, but not wanting to admit she found that funny. Just then, she opened the glass screen door and made her way back inside, but a sudden idea hit Tori, and she grabbed Ell’s arm and pulled her back.“Wait, I have an idea!” Tori exclaimed. “Why don’t you come with me?”Ell seemed confused, but interested. “What do you mean?” “I mean you, Juan, and me could ALL go on a date together! It’ll be fun!” Tori suggested to her.At first, the idea seemed crazy to Ell. After all, Juan is the friend of her rival, after all. But she also hadn’t been on a date in a few months or so, so she was pretty out of practice. She went over her work schedule for today in her head, and realized that she didn’t have a lot to do this weekend, and only had a few art projects that she still needed to work on.On the other hand, Juan hadn’t really directly insulted her before, and she seemed nice enough, so it wasn’t like she was going to plot something against her. Plus, Tori would be there, and Tori is really fun on dates, and is already a good friend of hers already."Well…” Ell hesitated for a moment, thinking about how that would go. “...Will we be going somewhere where there’ll be food?” She asked, a cheeky grin on her face.“I probably wouldn’t go if there wasn't’!” Tori said with a wink.“Then, sure!” Ell grinned, closing the screen door.The two joined in hands and walked across their yard and and in front of the gate, Edwanda and Marcia were still outside, but they were sitting on the porch and weren’t really paying attention to Ell nor Tori, Juan approached them both with a smile on her face.“Hi, Ell, and, uh,” Juan paused for a second, staring at Tori for a few moments. “T..Toni?”“Oh my gosh! That is so funny, I totally forgot what your name was too! And I also knew the first letter!” Tori said, giggling to the coincidence, and Ell found humor in it, and chuckled a bit too, putting her hands in her hoodie pocket.Juan smiled at her, and Tori cleared her throat. “No, uh, it’s Tori, and I’m sure you know Ell by now.”“Hello,” Ell greeted her, raising a hand from her pocket and waved at Juan, who waved back.Juan nodded in response to the question. “Oh yes, Edwanda talks about you a lot. Too much, actually.”“All good?” Ell questioned sarcastically. The girl could only hum in response, which only answered Ell’s question.“Anyways,” Tori quickly changed the topic to what they were here for. “I was wondering something.” She said, leaning against the fence, closer to Juan.It was like she already knew what she was going to ask, but Juan felt pretty flattered regardless as she smiled nervously, feeling a blush rise to her cheeks. “Yeah?” She fumbled her fingers together, anxious.“If you...would like to accompany me and Ell to a date tomorrow.” Tori asked. “If that’s cool with you, I mean.” She quickly added. Ell watched her desperately try to be cool with an almost impressed look on her face. Was this the " Tori Charm " she had always heard about when Tori frequently dated girls? Must’ve been, cause boy was it working.“Oh, I would love to!” Juan quickly accepted, placing a hand on her own cheek. “I heard it’s gonna be sunny tomorrow, too! We should go somewhere where there’s sun.” She clapped her hands together gleefully.“--And food.” Ell added aloud.The three laughed in response for a moment. “Well, it sounds terrific, regardless. What time are you free?” Juan asked curiously. “I’m always free for you, girl--” Tori grinned at her, but then, before she even realized it, the gate door had swiftly unlocked and quickly opened quickly, causing Tori to take an abrupt fall directly to the ground, Juan took a quick step back and Ell merely watched her tumble.“Ow.” Tori groaned, feeling embarrassment wash over her.“Oh gosh--are you okay?” Juan asked, reaching down as Tori grabbed her hand nervously, pulling her up.“Smooth moves, Tori. Ell said sarcastically.“Hey, it’s the gate’s fault!”It caused both Ell and Juan to both laugh together, as Tori quickly dusted herself off, trying to get the dirt out of her hair, and regain her cool, bad-girl posture. Ell helped and brushed some of the dirt off the front of her pants, which only annoyed Tori further.Tori coughed nervously, wrapping both of her arms behind her neck. “So...we’re still on, right?”“Of course.” Juan said. “I’ll see you till then, Juan. I better go help Tori get the dirt out of her hair.” Ell said as she interlocked her arm with Tori’s, pulling her to the house door.Juan couldn’t help but grin at the two girls as they walked away. Her heart fluttered as she pranced over to her house, feeling excitement and glee filled her heart, she hummed a sweet melody as she had never felt so lucky before. Usually her luck was pretty bad, considering! She had a date with two of the prettiest girls she knew. Today, she definitely was a winner.
10425252	Dreams Are Overrated	{ "Archive Warning": "Underage Sex", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Bart Allen, Barry Allen", "Fandom": null, "Language": "中文-普通话國語", "Rating": "Explicit", "author": "by institutionalized", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-24T00:00:00", "words": "1,558", "Additional Tags": "Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, boypussy!Barry, Vaginal Sex, Parent(Grandparent?)/Child Incest, One-Sided Bart/Barry, Westallen is Married, Wet Dream, it's basically just a dream, Mild Angst", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Bart Allen/Barry Allen, Barry Allen/Iris West", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "Young Justice (Cartoon), The Flash (Comics)", "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	视野里一片浑沌，只有忽隐忽现的暖流涌入身体。他感觉像是风雨飘摇的一只孤船在无边无涯的海上缓缓向着更黑的夜里航行。终于，远处出现了模糊的光点，像是灯塔，他便朝那里驶去，进入那逐渐明亮的光里。他睁开眼。他正浑身赤裸地跪坐在洁白的床单上，身下正躺着一个同样一丝不挂、气息不稳的年长男人——— 巴里。噢。他在操巴里。他俯下身。巴特满意地笑了笑，像小猫一样伸出舌头舔了舔面前不住翕合的红肿花穴，惹得身前人又发出一声压抑的呻吟。他将舌尖压进花穴中，一股透明的淫液从被撑开的地方顺着舌头流进嘴里，他便将其悉数咽下。他抽出舌尖转而拨开稀疏柔软的金色卷毛，专心攻击那完全包裹在嫣红嫩肉里的细小突起，先是用牙极轻地噬咬，再用他被爱液浸湿的嘴唇贴上去含住，细细地吮吸，舌头不住地撩拨敏感的顶端。 "嗯………哈啊……啊…………啊啊啊啊啊！！"身下人一阵字面意义上快到模糊的颤抖和突然拔高的音调令巴特感到温热的电流传遍全身，他再一次让巴里高潮了，而迄今为止他只用上了自己的手和嘴。于是他再最后用舌面重重地擦过巴里的阴蒂，引得对方因为快感微微抬起的双腿脱力地放下，细不可闻的低哑声音唤着他的名字。巴特的舌头没有离开巴里的身体，相反他一路舔过坚实的腹部，舔上了对方的深浅起伏的胸口。他的头偏向一边，啃咬着巴里浅褐的乳头，一只手像玩弄女人的乳房一般用力地搓揉挤压着手感饱满的胸肌，看似不经意地擦过那一点突起，直到两侧的小点都充血挺立。他从年长的男子胸口抬起眼来看那赤裸修长的脖颈，硬朗又温润的下颌线，和那如蝴蝶翅膀般微微颤动的睫毛因紧闭着而扫过瘦削的颧骨。巴特不知道为什么他会对着自己的祖父硬起来，但他的确是的，并且硬得像个他妈的金刚钻。何况巴里并不老，如果说时间在他身上留下了什么痕迹的话，那定是诸多历练带给他的稳重成熟，以及那再多的压抑与苦闷都无法泯灭的激情和热血——他永远年轻，永远快乐，永远都是真诚忠心的法证专家和英雄。岁月在他身上被无限地延长——这甚至都不是比喻，一分一秒在他周围如零星碎玉闪烁微光，可合起来甚至没有他自身一丝一毫耀眼而他却不自知。巴特失望地想到，自己在巴里面前就是并且永远会是一个莽撞幼稚的小屁孩。他不会对自己有同样的感情的。他把头埋进巴里的颈窝颤抖着深吸了一口气，然后将自己的硬物对准那个柔软湿滑的入口，贯穿至底。即使是没有不应期，如此超过的刺激在巴里过于敏感的小穴中也引起了一阵阵痉挛般的收缩，口里也不受控制地发出一声高亢的哀鸣。巴特的阴茎不算很大——看在上帝的份上他才十五岁——但青少年的体力和性欲使得他接下来的每一次抽插都快速而彻底，丰盈软嫩的肉壁紧裹着他令他窒息，他从巴里的身上稍微直起身，将罪恶淫靡的景象一收眼底。他几近狂乱地舔吻着巴里大腿内侧的软肉，留下不可能持续超过两分钟的红痕。巴里伸出一只手抚上他潮红的脸颊，拇指摩挲着试图为他将过长的额发别至耳后，却因幅度不小的抽动若即若离，始终没能完成这小小的爱意。巴特用双手紧紧扣住巴里的膝窝仿佛那是他于狂风暴雨中唯一的锚，巴里修长的腿抬过他的肩头脚趾蜷曲，濒临溺水之人与他最后的浮木终于在极乐之中共同沉沦。巴里实实在在地发出了一声失控的尖叫，内壁毫无规律地挤压着巴特年轻的阴茎——于是潮水般的快感一波接一波地袭来了，攫取他的氧气，将他的知觉掳走，最后将一无所有的他抛进冷酷的黑暗——— 他猛的睁开双眼，刺目的光线却使他再次闭上。当巴特缓慢地重新睁开眼睛，他看到那张在他脑海中萦留了一夜的面庞。巴里俯下身去看着巴特，一个正做着好梦就被自己弄醒的狼狈小孩，他邪恶地勾起嘴角，"青春期，哈？我以前也干过这事。"他意有所指地朝某个没被被子盖住的部位努努嘴。巴里没等脸红得要滴血的巴特回应，便安慰性地拍拍他的肩，"早饭已经好了，收拾完就快下来和我们一起吃饭吧。"说完便直起腰，转身离开了他的房间。巴特盯着巴里一直到他轻掩上门，从他的视野中消失。他看见巴里只穿了一条短裤，沉甸甸的男性特征在轻薄的布料中清晰可见。他听到艾瑞斯呼唤丈夫的声音轻柔愉快。精液在他的肚子上早已冷却，暴露在微凉的清晨阳光里。巴特觉得有些冷。于是他把他瘦长的四肢收起来，整个蜷缩进被单底下。
10468383	Say It	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "James Flint, John Silver, Max, Billy Bones, Ben Gunn", "Fandom": "Black Sails", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Explicit", "author": "by orphan_account", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-27T00:00:00", "words": "2,762", "Additional Tags": "Weddings, Fluff, happy tears, cross-dressing, Panty Kink, Garters", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "James Flint/John Silver, Billy Bones/Ben Gunn", "Series": "Some Are Silk and Some Are Leather", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	John feels sick to his stomach. His nerves are shot, and his hands won't stop shaking. Pacing around the room, he tries not to run his hands through his hair like he usually does when he's anxious. Max will kill him if he messes it up. There's a knock on the door and Billy pokes his head through the gap. His brow furrows when he sees him, quickly stepping into the room and closing the door behind him. "What's wrong? You look like you're about to pass out!" He exclaims and John wrings his hands. "I feel like I am. Billy, I'm freaking out." He says, and Billy sits him down in one of the plush chairs in the room and hands him a bottle of water. He raises it shakily to his lips and takes little sips, his churning stomach unable to take more than that. Billy pulls up a seat next to him, taking off his suit jacket and folding it over the arm. He sighs deeply, taking the bottle from John's hands. "What's going on John?" Billy says softly, eyes kind and calm. "I'm so fucking nervous. I've never been this nervous before. I feel sick. Then I get anxious about being sick and it just makes everything so much worse." John drops his face into his hands. And Billy, the shit, chuckles at him. At John's returning glare, he shakes his head, holding John's hands in his large warm palms to quell their trembling. "What are you so worried about? Everything's all planned out. I think this is the only wedding in history where nothing has gone wrong on the day." Billy grins and it pulls the corners of John's mouth. "Have you seen James?" He asks, earnestly. James would know how to calm him down. He would say something sweet, cupping his face in his hands and brushing his thumbs over his cheeks, and then make a corny joke just to make him laugh. "That's where I just came from." "Yeah? Does he look nervous?" John asks. "You know you can never tell with him. But I think I saw him pacing." John looks so relieved, his shoulders drop about an inch. Billy squeezes his hands quickly before letting him go. "How much longer?" John asks as Billy stands. "Max is going to come get you in ten minutes. Try not to work yourself into a state in that time." Billy grins, slipping into his jacket and fixing his tie. The ceremony is, as Billy and Max had promised him, perfect. Flint and his mother walk down the aisle first. So that when John's mother takes his arm and steers him down the isle, James is at the end, waiting for him. His suit is three pieces and a rich, smooth navy with a crisp white button up underneath. Navy was always his colour. John's suit is charcoal grey, sleek and simple, but is fits him perfectly. When James' eyes find his, and he smiles so beautifully, tears are already welling within him. John's mother hugs him tightly when they reach the alter, and wipes away his tears before wiping away her own. She turns and kisses James on the cheek, taking John's hands and placing them in his, before finding her seat. He is deaf to what is happening around them, even as the ceremony begins, all he can see is James. His hair is neatly pulled back and his beard is trimmed and shaped. His eyes are the colour of a rolling green sea and are holding back tears. John smiles, feeling immediately relieved he isn't the only one crying. During their vows, they're standing so close their foreheads touch and their hands clasp together firmly. "-you may now share your first kiss as lawfully wedded husbands." That's what he's been waiting for. James' arms wrap around his waist, and he kisses the living daylights out of him in front all their friends and family while applause and cheers roar around them. John and James steal away for a while as everyone moves to the reception room. It will take a while for people to find their tables, grab a drink. They won't be missed yet. John drags James into the room where he got dressed. They're both grinning madly, kissing each other every time they stop moving. "We did it. We actually finally did it." John whispers against his lips. He grabs hold of James' lapels and sucks on his tongue until James is moaning. "We'll have plenty of time for this later, John. And we'll have weeks in the Bahamas for this. If we go into that room looking we've just sucked each other off in a broom closet-" James trails off, holding onto John's biceps. "I know. It's just...boy do I like this suit." John smirks, thumbing the buttons of his shirt. "I like yours too. I'm glad I picked it out for you." James grins, pecking the tip of his nose. "We're finishing this later." John promises, a dangerous glint in his eye and James groans, following his husband out the door. John thought he was finished crying for the day. That was until they had their first dance. James leads him out into the middle of the empty dance floor. His hands hold onto his waist, while John's arms twine around his neck and their foreheads press together once more. They sway to 'Dream a Little Dream of Me', a song both John and James have known and loved all their lives. John used to dance with his mother around their kitchen to this song. James kisses him softly, no more than a delicate press of lips, and slots their cheeks together. He smiles into his curls when John starts to sing along softly in his ear. "I love you." He says, holding onto him tightly. "I love you more." James replies, smile curling his voice. Eventually everyone else floods the dance floor. James and John stay for a few more songs, swaying as they hold each other in the centre of floor. "Okay, no more crying." John laughs, wiping his eyes with the back of his hands. Max sweeps towards them, her silk red dress fitting against her curves and dipping down her chest, showcasing a quite impressive amount of cleavage. "My beautiful boys." She says warmly, hugging them both. "I've been to a lot of weddings, but yours-" She shakes her head, biting the corner of her lip. "I've never seen two people more perfect for each other, and so in love." "Max! For God's sake I just stopped crying!" John whines and hugs her. James chuckles, rubbing across John's back before going to find them some champagne. He gets some of the hellos and thank yous done on his way to the bar, even managing to dodge his grandmother, because once she starts talking, he'll never get back to John. He leans back against the bar, chuckling softly when he sees Billy pick John up off his feet and spin him around. "Here you go." The girl behind the bar chirps, handing him two bubbling glasses. "Congratulations, by the way." "Thank you." He nods politely, and his feet carry him towards his husband without a moment of thought. As the afternoon dips into the night, John begins to loosen up as he slowly wanders past tipsy. His jacket and tie are gone, and the first few top buttons are undone, revealing a sliver of skin and the necklace James bought for him as an engagement gift. James is sitting at their table, lounging back in his chair, watching with an amused smirk as Ben and John spin in drunken circles. "Jaaaammmeeesss." John whines, plonking into his lap. James' arms immediately go around his trim waist to steady him. "Yes, darling? Are you having fun?" John sighs, resting his cheek against James' hair. "James, why are you sitting over here? All by yourself?" John clings to him, kissing his hair and across his forehead until he's laughing softly beneath him. "Because, the room was starting to spin and I had to sit down for a bit. Besides, I'm having fun watching you have fun." John pouts, touching James' lips with the tip of his finger. "But I want you to have actual fun. Come dance with me?" John glows when James acquiesces, kissing him sweetly. James leaves his jacket behind, trailing after John with his hands on his hips. Billy and Ben yell slurred greetings when they join them, clapping them on the shoulders, hanging onto each other to keep themselves from stumbling to the floor. "Alright, you need to go get some cake and some water." James laughs as Ben trips over his feet to drape himself over John, both of them giggling. "You're very right." Billy nods, feigning sobriety. "Ben, lets go sit down for a bit." His massive arms tuck around Ben's lean waist and hoist him in the air."No! I wanna dance with John!" Ben whines as he's dragged away. "Leave the newlyweds be, hun." Billy says. In the back of the limmo, on the way to their hotel suite, John has one leg draped over James's lap and has wriggled his head under his chin. He is dozing lightly, making little murmuring noises every time they drive over a bump in the road. James is exhausted, sinking back into the seat, holding John close to his chest. He's so comfortable, he almost doesn't want them to ever get to their hotel. "We're here, sir." The driver announces, and James nods, helping John out of the car. "I didn't think I would be this tired." John says, leaning heavily into his side as they head up to their room. The penthouse suite is enormous. Every surface is sleek and expensive. There's a ice bucket with a complimentary bottle of champagne, that both of them groan at."I cannot drink any more." James announces, dropping John down on the couch. John kicks off his shoes, curling his legs up beside him. "How does anyone fuck on their wedding night?" James grumbles, shrugging out of his waistcoat. John turns to him, sharply, eyebrows nearly disappearing into his hairline. "You mean we're not going to fuck?" He asks, sauntering over to James. John knocks his hands away, unbuttoning his his shirt and slipping it over his broad shoulders. "I'm afraid that I don't really have the energy for it, and considering you slept all the way here...I don't think you have either." James smirks at John, who just rolls his eyes, working open his trousers. "I'm not asking for top five greatest fucks." He grins, cheekily, as James kicks his pants away. "I just-" His fingers dance across his bare chest. "Wanna be with you. We have our honeymoon for all that other stuff." James' eyebrows raise at 'stuff'. "Don't go through my suitcase, by the way. I want everything to be a surprise." John says, nonchalantly, walking James towards the adjoining bedroom. "I do want to do some sight-seeing while we're there. Let's try our hardest to get out of bed some time." John laughs, a bright little noise that James has to kiss him for. "Just lie back." John purrs, laying him down on the bed before stripping out of his suit. James' eyes drop to half mast, whether out of exhaustion, alcohol, lust or all three, it still makes John's skin flush. "You know, I had been planning to fuck you till reception starts getting noise complaints." James' tongue peaks out to wet his dry lips as John slowly unzips. "But, I think I know what I want now." John's sultry tone makes his cock throb and he resists the urge to palm himself. "And what's that?" James croaks, fingers itching to take John by the waist and fuck him into oblivion. John's lips spread slowly into a close-lipped smile and he pushes his trousers off his legs. "Fuck, John." He groans, eyes trailing over the length of his rapidly hardening cock trapped in white satin and lace. "Just for you and me." John reminds him, plucking at the frilly pale blue garter that stretches across his thigh. "It's your something blue." James chuckles, crooking his finger, beckoning him closer. In one swift movement that should not be possible for someone still drunk, John slips into his lap. James' fingers trace over the blue frills around his thigh, feeling his cock twitch against John's. "Well?" John whispers, circling his hips in tight little movements that rub their cocks together. "It's gorgeous." His voice is tinged with reverence, and it makes John smile. "I knew you'd like it." James threads his fingers through his husband's beautiful hair, and brings him down to slot their mouths together. John sucks in a breath through his nose, opening his mouth to let James' tongue delve past his lips. John wriggles so that they're pressed together tightly, grinding his hips down. He's rewarded with a spine-tingling moan spilled into his mouth and John can't hold back his grin. "You make such nice little noises." John says, nibbling across James' bottom lip. "Hmm, I always tell you that." James rumbles, rubbing across his ass, mesmerised by the silky softness of the white satin. "Doesn't mean it's not true for you." John closes his eyes as they grind together, pressure and friction sending waves of heat over his skin. "There's this one thing I love. Every time, when I suck your cock, when I first touch you, you take this short breath through your nose." James hums, sucking John's earlobe into his scorching mouth. "It's almost as if, even though your looking right at me, you're still surprised that I'm about to do it." "You always surprise me." James says, hands clutching where John's ass meets his thighs, holding him tight against his front so that he can thrust his hips up. "Got to keeps things interesting." John's voice trembles, and he bites down on his lip as James' hard cock rubs against his. James' mouth seeks out his own, tongue and lips drawing helpless noises from him. "D'you want to finish just like this?" James pants against his lips. "That's what I'm planning." He replies, eyes squeezing shut. James' moans and drawn out whines against his skin are pushing him closer and closer. He doesn't remember the last time he rubbed of against someone and that was it. It would have to be years. Certainly he and James have done it by accident, too caught up in their kiss to pull away. But now, each movement has intent. It's not just to relieve a bit of tension. Each thrust is with the sole intent to make the other squirm and grunt. Heat is curling in his groin, and his focus is flying out the window as he edges closer to orgasm. Their mouths brush against each other, not really kissing, more sharing panting breaths and moans. James' hand slides down his sweat-slick back, slipping under his panties to press his dry callused finger against his hole. John squeaks, face pressed into James' damp hair as shudders wrack his frame. "Yes, baby." James grunts as John spills into his panties. John lets out a long breath, kissing the corner of James' mouth as his hips still squirm beneath him. "I love you." John whispers, his cloudy blue eyes boring into him. James' fingers clench in his hair, eyelids fluttering. He comes with a deep grunt, that trails off into whimpering breaths that John eats up. "Are you falling asleep?" John chuckles, slapping James' cheek lightly, and his eyes pop open. "No." He grouches, arms tucked low around John's back. "Yes you were." John grins, flopping onto his back to peel himself out of his come soaked panties. He drops them over the side of the bed with a grimace. Next to him, James does the same, before rolling to his feet to sleepily stumble into their ensuite. John reclines back and watches the broad speckled breadth of shoulders and the pale globes of his ass that John could write odes about. If he could write for shit. James' smile is crooked as his drowsiness drags him down. He cleans both of them up before settling them under the covers. "I'm going to have such a hangover tomorrow." John slurs against James' shoulder. "We'll order a massive, greasy breakfast and all the coffee they have." James promises, nose buried in his curls. "Do you think they have sugar cubes?"
10467048	Angels with Dirty Faces	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Suoh Tamaki, Ootori Kyouya, Fujioka Haruhi, Hitachiin Hikaru, Hitachiin Kaoru, Haninozuka Mitsukuni, Morinozuka Takashi, Suoh Yuzuru, Ootori Yoshio", "Fandom": "Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by Fudgyokra", "chapters": "9/9", "completed": "2017-04-20", "published": "2017-03-27T00:00:00", "words": "16,990", "Additional Tags": "Alternate Universe - Mob, Gang Violence, Future Fic, Drama, Romance, Pining, Het and Slash, Some Humor, Angst, Past TamaHaru", "Relationship": "Ootori Kyouya/Suoh Tamaki", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Tamaki Suoh was never, under any circumstances, allowed to be himself. It was a fatal commandment from his father, whose line of work mandated that he and his son both be nothing but proper, resigned businessmen in every instance of their jointed life. It was, effectively, the number one rule that controlled Tamaki’s life.Kyoya wasn’t an idiot; he knew that bit of information. Yuzuru Suoh, the patriarchal head of the Suoh gang, was the Ootori gang’s main rival. Their business, much to Kyoya’s dismay, always entailed his own father and Tamaki’s butting heads until the media began to get suspicious. Once that happened, any public interaction was over until the buzz died down, where the feud would pick right back up where it left off. That was the thing about mobs in their city: they had to be discreet, or face capitalistic doom if the media should (god forbid) wring the neck of their much more public medical business.The Ootori family owned part of a prestigious medical company and oversaw the status of two local hospitals, as well occupied the board on behalf of these businesses. If word were to get out that Yoshio Ootori and his sons partook in criminal affairs, things would get ugly fast.As the middle brother, Kyoya was forced into the constraints of being Better Than while at the same time Not As Good As. That is, he couldn’t supersede his elder brother, yet he had to prove that he was worth a damn to his dad. If he couldn’t do that, then disgrace was a definite in his future. As a result, he took his job very, very seriously.Kyoya now stood at his father’s side, looking across the room at the Suoh boy and his ungracefully-aging dad. In his head, gears whirred.It was strange that he knew virtually everything about Yoshio, yet nothing useful about Tamaki, which had been the biggest thorn in his side since they started doing business with the Suohs. No matter how often he tried to collect intel, it was as if Tamaki’s records simply ceased to exist after a trip to Kyoto when he was sixteen, leaving the most recent years of his life a blank slate.What he did know was limited. Name: Suoh, Tamaki. Father: Yuzuru, chairman of a prestigious academy in their area—one that Tamaki and Kyoya had both graduated from only a couple years back. Mother: Anne-Sophie de Grantaine, sickly resident of France with not much else to offer that mattered to Kyoya other than her relationship to Tamaki.That was all, besides the obvious, of course: male, tall, skinny, blonde, blue-eyed, twenty years old as Kyoya himself was.Tamaki’s records were barren. It was from that he surmised something that only later in life would his father confirm to him in private. As the rumors went, Tamaki wasn’t exactly the model mob son his dad had in mind, and this was slowly poisoning the Suoh name in the underground communities. If they weren’t careful, this poison would spread to their public lives.Despite knowing all that could be known about him, Kyoya had never actually met Tamaki until today.“It’s good to see you again, Mister Ootori,” Yuzuru lied gracefully, extending his hand for a handshake that never came.“Certainly,” Yoshio lied back, hands still clasped behind his back. He was only a sentence into their latest attempt at reaching a business agreement when Kyoya caught sight of the fabled Suoh son. He stood, respectable and aloof, a meter behind his father and flanked by two men in suits. While Kyoya examined him, he only stared vacantly into the distance.Whereas Kyoya was prepared for dirty blonde and slate blue like Yuzuru, what he got instead was a young man of remarkable vividness. Though Kyoya wouldn’t (couldn’t) say so, Tamaki was leagues above his father in terms of looks, with golden hair and startlingly blue eyes and a handsome, slender face that matched his handsome, slender body. Though Kyoya had been expecting different, he couldn’t say he was disappointed with the man he was supposed to be learning more about. After all, work got easier when your target was beautiful.The next thirty seconds were more memorable than the last few years of his life, if he were being honest with himself. He saw Tamaki’s pupils grow as his attention returned to the present, and just like that they were locked in a stare. Kyoya, undaunted, continued observing. Tamaki glanced from the guard on his left to the guard on his right and then, tentatively, gave Kyoya a little wave with his fingers held stiffly at waist level.Kyoya blinked. He didn’t wave back. He must have looked as startled as he felt by the interaction, because just a moment later Tamaki surprised him again by smiling sweetly at him.His heart jumped in his throat, but he made himself behave. With measured politeness, Kyoya nodded once in Tamaki’s direction, acknowledging his presence without feeling. He noted that Tamaki looked a little disappointed but ignored the weird feeling this caused in him.Before he could think too hard about it, the click of a safety being taken off a gun sent every nerve in his body burning. Just a little too late, he reached for his father’s arm.“You damned dirty spy!” Yoshio cried, swinging his weapon up at a spot behind Yuzuru’s men’s heads. “I knew I couldn’t trust you to be professional, Suoh.”Thunderous gunfire erupted from each side of the room, prompting Kyoya to finally put his danger training to use. He ducked, prepared to take out the weakest guard and jump to his father’s aid, only to be yanked from the room and into the dimly-lit stairwell outside.“Get back!” he hissed, swatting aimlessly at his attacker until his eyes focused on the vulnerable-looking eyes of Tamaki Suoh.He felt like the gunfire in the room behind them had just become background noise. He’d barely uttered a sound before Tamaki jerked him by the arm and rushed down the stairs with Kyoya clumsily tagging along (not that he had much of a choice, it seemed.) After his initial shock he managed to offer a loud curse, followed by, “What the hell are you doing!”Tamaki didn’t answer and instead led them to the very bottom of the stairwell, where he shoved him through a door and followed closely behind, locking them both in something that Kyoya came to realize was a broom closet.The building was quiet now, but Kyoya could hear a car violently pull out of the parking lot outside. When the sound faded away, all that was left was their labored breaths, making the world seem a little dimmer and farther away than Kyoya was used to.It took him a moment to recuperate but the backlash was instantaneous. “You bastard!” he shoved Tamaki against the shelves behind him, making the other man wince. “My father is going to have my head on a plate for desertion! Or better yet, he’ll have yours for kidnapping!”Tamaki only blinked big, blue eyes at him, and suddenly the fire in him vanished. That was the first of many bad signs. With his anger effectively reduced to minor irritation, he pinched the bridge of his nose and began with a different approach. “Why did you pull me away? That was foolish of you. You don’t know me, you don’t know what my family is capable of, and you don’t…” he trailed off at the way Tamaki worried his lip and left the hanging question open to interpretation.“Do you really want to die for the sake of this horrible business?” he asked, voice soft.Without missing a beat, Kyoya replied, “My brothers would have.”Tamaki was just as quick on the draw. “Then why aren’t your brothers here? Why did your dad choose you?”Kyoya tried not to read too much into the question, but even if he had there was no real answer to it. Defeated, he gave the only truth he could tell: “I don’t know.”The silence that occurred between them then was nearly unbearable, but Tamaki saved grace by speaking again a moment later. “I can’t take it anymore. I think we should run away.”Any second now Kyoya was prepared to wake up. At this point, he wasn’t convinced that he wasn’t dreaming. “What are you talking about?”Tamaki, looking at him with more earnestness than Kyoya had ever seen directed at him, licked his lips and said, “I mean, you don’t want this kind of life, do you?”Kyoya swallowed hard but fought to retain his cool composure. “It’s not that simple.”“It is, though!” Tamaki all but chirped, becoming animated at Kyoya’s reaction. “I’ve faded off the map before and I can do it again.”Kyoto, Kyoya thought. When all of Tamaki’s records disappeared.“Mister Suoh, if I may—”“Call me Tamaki.”“…Tamaki. What happened in Kyoto? Why did you just vanish like that?” He hadn’t meant to sound so genuinely curious, even if he was.Tamaki’s expression was neutral, but his voice was sad. “I fell in love with a girl.”Kyoya was unamused. “That’s all?”“I told her everything, Kyoya.”The way he said his name made his skin tingle, a sensation he dutifully ignored so that he could press the other man further on the subject. “About the mob, you mean.” It wasn’t a question, but Tamaki nodded.“Her dad found out. He had every right to be mad, I suppose. He called the police and I didn’t know what else to do but run. Our whole family had to relocate, and the last I heard of it was that her family was…‘taken care of.’” Kyoya didn’t know how to respond, but the heartbreak in Tamaki’s voice made him wish he did. “I never acted out like that again. I swore to myself I’d never let innocent people suffer again because of me, and that’s why I pulled you out of there.”After carefully picking his words, Kyoya laid a hand on Tamaki’s shoulder. “It wasn’t your idea to plant to the spy, was it?”Tamaki shook his head. “But it’s all the same. I stayed with my father and so I’m just as responsible as he is. To this day I still don’t know if that girl and her father were killed or relocated or...what. Listen, I let her down, but I swear I won’t do it again. I want to protect you, Kyoya.”These words, although well-intentioned, stung. Kyoya retracted his hand and narrowed his eyes. “You don’t even know what I’m like. I could turn around right now and sell you out. I could make you wish you’d never laid a hand on me.”Tamaki nodded, suspiciously easygoing about the entire interaction. In fact, he even managed a smile. “The worst thing for me wouldn’t be to die.”It was stupid, he thought, the way his pulse quickened when Tamaki grabbed his hand and led him outside, then pointed with his free hand to a spot somewhere in the distance. “Come with me,” he said, “to a place I promise you we’ll both be safe.”Kyoya stared out at the burning orange sky and suddenly felt unbearably cold, despite the moderate temperature. This could be it. This could be the life he’d always wished he could have. And yet, it could very well mean the death of everything he’d worked so hard for.He looked at the other as if he would have the answers to the questions Kyoya couldn’t voice, and even though he knew that was an impossible task, something about Tamaki’s sweet smile made him think he could have all the answers.Though he felt an unfamiliar emptiness in his chest, a more potent thrill ran through his veins at the thought of escaping the hell his life had become…the hell that it was destined to be even after his father stepped down. He teetered on the edge of these two feelings until a gentle squeeze from Tamaki’s hand tipped him into a decision.“All right,” he said slowly, “I’m coming with you.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Walking the streets at night was a difficult task in and of itself, but especially so for them. They had to act natural for the prying eyes of the common folk, yet be stealthy to avoid being caught by those they knew very well were out to get them. The thought of being followed both pained and excited Kyoya. How would his father feel if he knew his own son had deserted him? Maybe then he'd act like he cared.Kyoya kept his face forward despite the dark, the wind, and his trepidation alike. He felt more criminal slinking through back roads with Tamaki Suoh than he ever had peddling business pitches with his dad, and something about that made him feel strangely empowered. Looking to his left at the other man, he began formulating a strand of questions beginning with the most obvious: "Where are we going?"Tamaki grinned. "The home of a pair of my friends. They're lovely, if a bit devilish." While Kyoya mulled over what that was supposed to mean, Tamaki kept droning in the background of his thoughts. Something about twins with the words 'sneaky,' and 'wealthy' involved, which Kyoya assumed were related terms."So they're smugglers," he said aloud, intonation not indicating that he was asking a question. As a matter of fact, he was surprised that Tamaki answered to the negative."Oh, no. They were born with silver spoons in their mouths, so to speak." Tamaki smiled prettily, something that seemed out of place in their dismal surroundings. "They just like to pull pranks. It's kind of a ploy for attention, poor things.""Neglected," Kyoya ventured, and this time Tamaki confirmed."Their parents are very busy people," he said sadly. "Last I heard they were in Italy on a business trip.""It's fortunate that they don't involve their children."Tamaki looked confused for a second, then made a loud exclamation that had Kyoya nervously checking over his shoulder. "Oh, no, no—it isn't like that with them," he clarified, putting a hand on the other's arm to direct him into the street they were supposed to turn on. "They're just companions from high school. No fishy business.""I see.""They kind of owe me a favor, so they're going to offer us sanctuary for a little while.""You presume?""I know!" Tamaki chirped, reaching down for Kyoya's hand again and pulling him toward a looming mansion shingled in elegant, deep purple. Not exactly the most nondescript location to be hiding in, Kyoya mused.Tamaki gracefully lifted a hand and pressed the doorbell with his index finger.The two of them waited outside in silence. Just when Tamaki opened his mouth the door opened, turning whatever he was about to say into a greeting.For the first time, Kyoya laid eyes on his so-called saviors. "Teenagers?" he asked dubiously. The redheaded twins that stood before him were two, maybe three years younger than he was—not exactly the most outstanding choices for the hosts of a haven for runaway mobsters.The brothers rolled their eyes in languid, unamused unison. "Hi Tamaki," the first one said."Who's the new guy?" the second asked."He's cute," the first said."Kinda grumpy-lookin', though," said the second.Tamaki pushed right past them and walked into their house like he owned it. "He's a friend. We need a place to stay for a while, if you two don't mind terribly."The twins exchanged a look, then cast their eyes on Kyoya. "Are you in the mob, too?" the first asked flatly.The second twin smacked his brother on the shoulder. "Hikaru!""C'mon Kaoru, it's like midnight. No one's gonna be out wandering the streets and eavesdropping on us."The first twin, Kaoru, sighed through his nose and regarded Kyoya again. "Come in. You're welcome to stay for as long as you want.""More like as long as Tamaki wants," Hikaru said. Kaoru cracked up at this, which sent his brother into a similar fit of laughter that went on until, finally, Kyoya took Tamaki's lead and simply pushed his way between them."I appreciate your hospitality," he said. "I have nowhere else to go."Hikaru and Kaoru sobered up and walked, side by side, into the living room to sit down on their quite impressively expansive sofa. "What happened?" they asked."I rescued him from his father," Tamaki answered matter-of-factly.Kyoya narrowed his eyes and pushed his glasses up. "I don't know that I'd call it a rescue."Tamaki pouted at him. "Let me finish my story."While Kyoya was perfectly content to let him do so, the twins took that as their opportunity for exposition. "Ya might as well get used to that attitude," Hikaru began, "Tamaki is a drama queen.""I am not!" Tamaki interrupted.Ignoring him, Kaoru continued with, "He's always the hero of the story, even if he didn't do anything."Kyoya wasn't particularly in the mood to crack a smile, but the thought did seem very befitting of Tamaki and was oddly humorous to him."And he's pretty good at not doing anything," Hikaru said."Or way too much," Kaoru added.Tamaki did his best to look pitiful. "I thought you guys were my friends.""We are, stupid," they said in tandem."You don't act like it!"The twins dissolved into laughter, which is when Kyoya finally allowed himself to smile. It didn't go unnoticed. Amid his tantrum, Tamaki glanced at him and winked, suggesting to him that this was all in good fun. He wondered what it was like to have friends like this.Kaoru stood and put a hand on Kyoya's elbow. "Come on, I'll show you where everything is."Graciously, Kyoya allowed himself to be led through the hall, past bathrooms, ballrooms, and bedrooms until they stopped at a door closer to the back of the house. "This is our room," he said, gesturing to the door. "If you need us, there's an intercom system. Or you can just stop by." He grinned and held up a finger. "But you know, knock first. You don't wanna be peeking in on stuff you shouldn't be."Kyoya lifted one corner of his mouth more as a cordial smile than a genuine one. He'd known the twins less than an hour, and he already felt that it was a little strange not to see them acting as one unit. "Thank you for your kindness," he said, extending his hand toward the other man, "mister…""Hitachiin," Kaoru said, tilting his head to the side a fraction of an inch and ignoring the outstretched hand. "What's your name? You know, since Tamaki never bothered to introduce you.""Kyoya. It's nice to make your acquaintance." He let his hand fall back to his side."Ootori?"Kyoya pursed his lips and didn't look him in the eye. "The very same.""Oh, man," Kaoru said with a whistle, "whatever's going on has gotta be rough if you're willing to be seen with Tamaki.""I'm not exactly willing," Kyoya said, prompting a wide grin to blossom on Kaoru's face."You're funny," the man in question said, turning to head back the way they'd come. "I wouldn't be either, if I were you." It was hard to determine whether this was a joke. Silently, Kyoya followed him. "There's a bedroom upstairs that Tamaki usually stays in when he visits. If you want to take the one next to his you can. That's our parents', but they're never home so the sheets are new.""What do your mother and father do for a living?" Kyoya asked, paying more attention to the paintings on the walls than anything else."Mom has a fashion business. Dad's an accountant. They're pretty busy people.""So I've heard."Kaoru shrugged and kept walking. "Hikaru and I have each other."Kyoya again found himself wondering what it was like to be that close to someone. "My family's not particularly close, either. My sister is the closest friend I have.""Tamaki will change that," Kaoru said, startling him."Pardon?""Tamaki's the best friend a guy could ask for." Kaoru glanced over his shoulder at him and smiled less impishly than before. "Even though he's an idiot."Kyoya said nothing.When they made it back to the living room, Hikaru and Tamaki were shoulder to shoulder, each of them staring down at something on Hikaru's cell phone. Whatever it was, it didn't look good, if their expressions were any indication."Kyoya," Tamaki said somberly, "They're looking for you.""What about you?" he asked.Tamaki ignored the question. "You knew they'd be coming for you though, I bet."Kyoya nodded. Tamaki stepped away from Hikaru and rejoined Kyoya's side, draping an arm around his shoulders exuberantly as if he were suddenly no longer concerned with the news he'd just seen. "It's okay, though. You're perfectly safe here with me.""Us," the twins corrected, rolling their eyes in unison again. No matter what they did, they always seemed to be eerily synced in their movements."Like I told you," Hikaru said, "you get used to the hero syndrome.""I think it's called narcissism," Kaoru offered innocently, making the two of them snicker behind their palms.Tamaki glared daggers at them for all of three seconds, then returned to his usual sunny self. "You get used to their foolishness as well.""Foolishness?" Kaoru asked in mock offense.Beside him, Hikaru scoffed and held the back of his hand up to his forehead. "Who, us? Foolish?"Despite the situation, Kyoya felt a sense of comfort in the company of these three, strange as they may be. "Thank you again for all of this," Kyoya started, eyes flickering toward the staircase. "If you don't mind, I've had a very long day…""Oh! Right," Tamaki said, taking his hand again. Kyoya wasn't sure why the man was so touchy, but it was already becoming too commonplace for him to mention it. "Goodnight, you two!" he said to the twins."Night, loser," they replied, each of them saluting.Kyoya raised an eyebrow and Tamaki grumbled something under his breath before the two began their ascent. Tamaki opened the door to one of the mansion's many bedrooms and gestured inside with a flourish. "This is my room. I stay here quite a bit."Kyoya hummed in acknowledgement and watched as Tamaki began fussing with a vase of new roses on the nightstand. "Quite a bit" might have been an understatement, he thought."I guess you're taking the room next door, huh?" Tamaki asked, surprising Kyoya again by crossing the room lithely and making himself comfortable in Kyoya's personal space. "Unless you want to sleep in here with me."Kyoya smiled. "I don't think so," he answered gently."It was worth a shot," Tamaki said, punching him playfully in the shoulder. "Good night, Kyoya.""Good night, Tamaki." Kyoya watched the door closed and stood there for a moment in thought. Slowly, he shuffled into his designated room, a strikingly large, carpeted one with a humongous television hanging on the wall opposite the bed. It was well decorated, with fake plants and mirrors and statues, and the bed itself looked like something out of a magazine. Kyoya was wealthy, sure, but his parents' decorative sensibilities were not quite as glamourous as the Hitachiin family's.Tentatively, he approached the yellow futon that sat beneath a large, French-style window and sat down. With only the sound of his own breathing to accompany himself, he withdrew his phone and pried the back open to look at the blinking light inside.He plucked it out, looking at it disdainfully. Bugged, of course. Leave it to his father not to trust him after all he had done for him. He sighed through his nose and bit down on the tracker until it cracked. Once the little red light died, he slid the window open and looked out into the night.Without much ceremony, he cocked his arm back and threw it as far as he could, letting it fall somewhere in the sprawling expanse of trees below. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- His first day in the Hitachiin mansion started off as a slow one.Some ungodly combination of feverish nightmares and unfiltered sunlight woke Kyoya up at seven in the morning, something he never did if he wasn't forced to. Still, he supposed going back to sleep wasn't an option with the tail end of an anxious dream stuck in his mind, so he resigned himself to being awake and shuffled drowsily into the attached bathroom.One hot shower later and there was a knock on the bedroom door, requesting his permission to enter. Even though he wasn't quite up to socializing at that exact moment, he opened it out of courtesy. On the other side, jubilant as always, stood Tamaki, bearing a handful of wildflowers. "Good morning!" he greeted, offering the bouquet to Kyoya. "The twins have a huge patch of these in the backyard, so I decided to bring them up for you!"Kyoya, more than a little confused, raised an eyebrow. "Ah, thanks, Tamaki. I don't particularly need them..."Tamaki rolled his eyes good-naturedly and stepped into the room to set the bundle on the wide Cherrywood dresser occupying the space beneath the television. "I usually decorate my room with roses but since we can't exactly be out in public, I figured these will do to make yours feel more cheerful.""That's very nice of you," Kyoya said without emotion, focused more on leaving to scout for food than anything the other was saying."I can get you a vase," Tamaki continued as he followed Kyoya down the hall. "I know where Hikaru and Kaoru keep them. They have plenty since their mother likes flowers too." Without taking a breath, the story went onward. "She's a wonderful woman, even though she works so much. She might not have done the greatest job as a mother, but she did what she could, you know? She was almost like a mother to me sometimes, too.""That's great," Kyoya said, his plans to rummage through the fridge halted when he noticed that there was already quite a spread laid out on the dining room table.When Tamaki caught sight of his expression, his face lit up. "It's nice, isn't it? They have a housekeep that comes in on weekdays to cook and clean for them. They don't have much time to do it themselves, between school and, well, goofing off." Tamaki laughed as if this were particularly funny."That does make sense with their parents often out of the picture," Kyoya mused. "But shouldn't they already know by now how to cook for themselves?""I suppose. It's not like I can cook, either."Kyoya furrowed his eyebrows. "You can't cook?""You can?" Tamaki asked, like it was something foreign to him.Kyoya nodded, and in a space of seconds he saw a lightbulb go off in the other's head. Before he even said it, Kyoya knew exactly what Tamaki was going to ask."Can you teach me? Cooking always did look like fun! That's something we can do without leaving the house, too."When did my life become the cooking channel? Kyoya wondered, trying to backpedal his way out of the situation. Since he couldn't think of a solution in the presence of the pitiful puppy eyes Tamaki was giving him, he grudgingly assented."What should we make?" Tamaki asked, already pawing his way through cabinets in the kitchen. Kyoya looked at the breakfast that was already on the table with a withering expression but joined the other's side nonetheless."Something simple. How about pancakes?" His stomach growled."I do like pancakes," Tamaki commented, having already retrieved a mixing bowl and a suspiciously-placed bag of marshmallows. Kyoya didn't want to know why they came from the same cabinet.While Tamaki dawdled, Kyoya collected the necessary ingredients and arranged them on the island counter in the center of the room. Within minutes the ball was rolling, and as messy as it somehow became, Tamaki seemed to be doing all right. He was enjoying himself and Kyoya was one step closer to getting something to eat, so the way he saw it, it was a success all around."I don't know how to flip them," Tamaki said as his first attempt failed miserably. Kyoya smiled and took the spatula out of his hands, only to have it snatched back and the handle smooshed into his cheek. "No, I want to do it. You are the teacher; I am the student." Tamaki smiled brightly and batted his eyes in a way that was rather hard to disagree with."Okay," Kyoya said, pushing the spatula out of his face. "But you have to do it like this."He stepped up behind Tamaki and wrapped his fingers around his wrist to guide him. Just when attempt number two looked like it was going to work, Kyoya took his hand away, only for Tamaki to flip it out of the pan and onto the floor behind them with practiced clumsiness. "Oops," he said, turning to Kyoya. "It looks like I still need your help."Kyoya's growling stomach suddenly seemed so unimportant it was like something from a past life. His main concern now was that Tamaki was…flirting with him. Kyoya was by no means an expert at these sorts of things, but Tamaki wasn't exactly being coy about it, so it wasn't as though he could just pretend he hadn't noticed.After a brief internal battle, Kyoya licked his lips and rolled up his sleeves. He would play along, he supposed. "You can't jerk your arm, idiot," he said flatly, watching Tamaki's smile transform into something infinitely more impish in nature. He suddenly looked like he could be a blond-haired, blue-eyed Hitachiin."Sounds simple enough.""You would think," Kyoya said. He'd meant it as a joke, but he wasn't sure Tamaki got his exact brand of humor. It took a few seconds for it to reach him, but recognition did eventually grace the man's features."Sorry Kyoya, I just can't help it! I told you I've never cooked before.""That's obvious.""That is rude." Tamaki smacked him on the arm with the spatula and turned to face the stove again. "Now help me. Please," he tacked on daintily, cocking his hip in a manner that Kyoya was almost afraid to call coquettish."All right," he began, stepping directly behind him again. "You do it like this."/They were absorbed in a dramatic movie when the twins returned from school.By the time the front door opened, Tamaki was twisted around in his seat to greet them with an enthusiastic, "Hello gentlemen."The twins each gave a small wave."I don't think your housekeeper likes us very much," Tamaki continued, oblivious to the dour expressions his housemates wore. Kyoya, on the other hand, monitored them curiously. "She had to clean up the mess we made with pancakes this morning…it was a pretty big one. Dough was everywhere!"Kaoru offered a fake smile while Hikaru continued to stew in his negativity, and finally Tamaki had to ask what was wrong."It's probably nothing you don't already know," Kaoru said, rubbing the back of his neck."You guys are missing persons," Hikaru said, almost angrily. "Listen Tamaki, we're friends and all, but I don't want anyone coming at us for harboring fugitives."Kaoru elbowed his brother in the side and maintained his placid smile. "It's not as bad as it sounds. But there were some…words exchanged. Between your guys' families, I mean."Hikaru sighed through his nose and dropped his backpack by the front door. He pulled Kaoru's off as well, which the latter didn't seem to be affected by as he continued to explain. "Mister Ootori accused Mister Suoh of having something to do with it."Kyoya let that sink in, ignoring the worried look Tamaki gave him. "That's foolish of him," he said, pushing his glasses up. "He shouldn't let his private feuds infiltrate his public life. People are going to start asking why he blames Suoh. He should know better than that.""You can't blame him, he's just worried about you," Tamaki said."He's worried about the business. Not me." The movie suddenly seemed a little less interesting now. "Excuse me for a while. I should be keeping up with everything they say. It's very important, after all."When he left for his room, Tamaki did not try to follow him as he'd expected. He was almost thankful for this, because the last thing he needed was pity. He was too prideful for pity, but since Tamaki thought with his heart before his head he was bound to get plenty of it. Still, the other half of him was getting much, much too attached to Tamaki's company.He shut the bedroom door behind him and took out his phone. It was a full minute before he did anything but hold it, but once he turned it on he found himself hovering over the bright red missed calls notification.He could call his father right now. He could pretend he really had been kidnapped and go back to a normal life. As normal as his life got, anyway. The headlines would come from everywhere; they might even bring in more business. His father might forgive him for letting this happen.His finger remained poised above the notification. He could do it. He could turn his geotag on and let Yoshio "accidentally" find him there. It would be easy; he would pretend to sneak away and let his father think whatever he liked about Tamaki Suoh.Of course, Kyoya would do no such thing. For one, he was done with his dad's dirty deals and cheap tricks. For another, he might have very well found the best friend Kaoru had promised him.He sighed and tossed his phone onto the bed.Almost as if on cue there was a knock at the door, which he answered with a tactful amount of stalling. To his surprise, he found Kaoru on the other side. Kaoru, sans his brother."Hey Kyoya," the boy said, feigning disinterest in a way that Kyoya might have taken as real if he hadn't been so practiced in the art of telling these things. "So you taught Tamaki to cook, huh?"Kyoya hummed. "I wouldn't call what he did 'cooking,' exactly, but yes, I suppose that's what happened."Kaoru laughed once. "That's Tamaki for you. He can't do anything right but flirt his way through life."There was a vicious stinging feeling in Kyoya's chest. "That's interesting."Kaoru seemed to have caught on to the tone, so he backpedaled. "Woah, not in a weird way or anything.""Just in a 'making girls in Kyoto he just met fall in love with him' kind of way."To Kaoru's credit, he either faked shock remarkably well or genuinely felt it. Kyoya couldn't tell this time. "He told you about Haruhi?"Haruhi. "He did."Kaoru had a weird look on his face. "He trusts you more than he trusts his own mother, then. They don't talk much anymore, but he always makes a point to mention that he's never met anyone he liked that way. I don't know why."Kyoya, done with his introspection and perfectly content to return to his dull, pointless movie now, shrugged passively. "Some things you tell friends that you wouldn't dare tell your parents." He walked out and Kaoru followed."You're right about that," he said with a snort."Of course I am," Kyoya replied evenly. "Trust me when I say that I know what I'm talking about when it comes to keeping secrets from family.""Nasty business," Kaoru said."You're right," Kyoya agreed. "Is that movie still on?" ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Days came and went after that without incident, something for which Kyoya was thankful. Every night he laid on the futon, staring longingly at the bed and not daring to go near it out of some strange fear of comfort. He could hardly sleep thinking about his dad and what he was doing without him. He didn't know which was worse: the thought that his father was out looking for him, or the consideration that he might not have cared at all.It was a full three weeks before things got ugly.Kyoya awoke from his afternoon nap as he had each day before: stiff and still tired. Anxiety was a powerful tool, and it was beginning to take over his life.He stretched, wincing at the cracks his bones gave in response, then reached down to pick his clothes up only to find that they weren't there. Since he wasn't about to leave the room in just a tank top and boxers, he resigned himself to the bathroom to try his best to look presentable again. It was easier now that the twins had found the time to buy him some necessary toiletries, but it was still never quite comfortable getting ready in someone else's house.When he headed into the walled-off area that contained the toilet and shower, he noticed that his dress shirt and slacks were there, neatly folded atop the fluffy toilet seat cover. He picked the shirt up and, with a curious sniff, confirmed his suspicions that they had been washed. He sighed and got dressed.Downstairs he found Tamaki in the kitchen, humming over a teapot on the stove. "Good morning!" he exclaimed, making Kyoya's head pound.He made a noncommittal noise and sat at the island counter. "Tamaki.""Yes?""Why were you in my room?""Oh! I looked up a video on how to do laundry and cleaned our clothes for us. Isn't that neat?"Again, a noncommittal hum, followed by, "Where are Hikaru and Kaoru? Today is Saturday.""Out," Tamaki answered swiftly, then moved back to the previous subject. "I've never done stuff like that for myself before. It makes you feel pretty grown up.""You've been grown for a long time, Tamaki," Kyoya pointed out.Tamaki shrugged. "Hey, why don't you sleep in the bed?"In his state of sleepless anxiety, that wasn't a question Kyoya wanted to dwell on. "I like the futon."After clicking the stovetop off and moving the pot off the eye, Tamaki turned to face him, waving the teacup in his hand around as he gestured. "It can't be nicer than the bed.""It's fine," Kyoya said curtly, looking up the local news on his phone as he did every morning. The bad blood between their families was still flowing strong. No surprise there."I just think it's a little strange," Tamaki kept on, "I mean, no one has used the bed recently. The sheets are clean if you're worried about that.""I'm not," Kyoya replied, his patience wearing thinner by the second. "Forget it, all right?""I just want you to be comfortable here, since we're here for a while. It's like our home now, you know."Abruptly, Kyoya dropped his phone on the countertop with a clack and sucked in a breath. "Please shut up."Tamaki looked taken aback by the aggression. Slowly, he turned back around and poured himself a cup of tea. "I didn't mean it like that," he said after a moment. "I know this isn't home home. But…isn't it better?""I don't know," Kyoya snapped, irritated by the way the truth sounded. "What I do know is that I could be there right now and not have all this damn trouble following me around.""It's not that bad when you—" Tamaki insisted, only to be cut off."It very much is 'that bad,' Tamaki. Our families are essentially at war now because they each think the other had something to do with our disappearances. If you think destroying my reputation and estranging me from my father was a heroic deed, you're sorely mistaken.""I didn't estrange you," Tamaki said defensively, furrowing his brows. "You came with me.""What would I have said if I had gone back? 'Sorry dad, while you were being shot I was being kidnapped by an idiot.'" He fought to keep his tone even. Tamaki didn't quite have the same idea."You could have stopped me at any time! Don't act like you couldn't!""You might have killed me. I didn't know.""I told you, I wanted to help you!""No, you wanted to make up for what you did to Haruhi," Kyoya all but snarled. "But you can't bring her back by fucking up my life."When Tamaki dropped his cup onto the tile with a crash, Kyoya knew he'd said the wrong thing. The anger in him dissipated, leaving behind an aching sense of shame.Tamaki made his way to the dining table and sat down, putting his head in his hands. "You're right," he said softly. He ran a hand through his hair. "You remind me of her so much, sometimes. The way you act, the way you hold yourself, your confidence with your emotions…"Kyoya looked over at the man until the sight of him looking so distraught made his chest burn. With his gaze trained on the broken pile of what was once a bright, colorful ceramic dish, he asked, "Tell me, am I some sort of replacement for her?"He hadn't anticipated the way Tamaki's head snapped up so that he could look at him, eyes wide and lips parted. "Kyoya, I never—" his voice seemed to fail him at this point.In the tense silence preceding what was going to be Kyoya's regretful apology, the sound of shattering glass made both of them shoot to their feet."The parlor window," Tamaki breathed."It's my father," Kyoya said with certainty, keeping his voice low.Yoshio had finally found them.Tamaki nodded frantically. He looked like a mess, hands trembling at his sides and his eyes wild. "I know. It's all my fault. I let this—I made this happen. I shouldn't have—"The three men that barreled into the kitchen were instantly recognizable to Kyoya: his father's bodyguards from the office. Not good. One of them yanked Tamaki by the arm like a rag doll and shoved him forward against the counter with a gun pressed into his back.Had it not been for a voice in the doorway, Kyoya might have made the mistake of fighting back. "Stop," the disembodied voice commanded.Kyoya braced himself. "Father.""Kyoya, my son. I'm glad to have found you. I'm sorry for the violence—it wasn't at all necessary. I was worried sick about you and I thought…if someone in here were keeping you hostage…" He shook his head. "I see now that you're perfectly capable of moving on your own. I suppose that means you came here on purpose.""Father," he repeated, "listen to me.""It's all right. It's time to come home. Gentlemen, that will be all."The guards collected themselves back into their triad and exited the room like trained dogs, leaving Tamaki against the counter with buckling legs and a bruise blossoming on his forearm.Kyoya looked back at him. "Are you all right?" When Tamaki nodded, he turned to face Yoshio again. "It also wasn't necessary for you to bring a brigade.""You've been missing for weeks. Anything could have happened," Yoshio said flippantly, as if that excused the entire situation. "I will arrange for the window to be fixed. I can also offer compensation for injuring you, young Mister Suoh."Tamaki merely frowned at the counter and rubbed his arm."Kyoya," Yoshio said, more sternly now, "we have to leave immediately. The press won't leave the company alone and I need you to explain what you've done. For your sake and mine I hope they will accept that it was some childish tantrum. You only have to apologize and everything should be fine.""I don't want to apologize," Kyoya said, trying his best not to choke on his words in the face of his father's commanding presence."We wouldn't want this to turn into a legal battle." Yoshio's eyes darkened. "The Suoh family doesn't need another scandal on behalf of their illegitimate child."Again, Kyoya looked back at Tamaki, who remained perfectly silent and still as he returned the gaze. He looked not unlike a kicked dog, woeful and apologetic as if it wasn't Kyoya's fault for abandoning his family in the first place. As if Tamaki hadn't pulled him from a hellish life and into a huge, beautiful house to do as he pleased. He thought of the comfortable king bed that he was gifted, and the freedom that he had. How nice it was to wake up to morning air with the prospect of seeing people that didn't expect him to be everything his family wanted him to be.Kyoya's stomach ached. He regarded his father with defiant eyes. "I'm staying here." He could hear Tamaki's sharp inhalation above the sound of his father's disappointed sigh, not so much due to volume as to his expectance of the blond's reaction.Yoshio's eyes were mirthless, his mouth drawn into a tight line. "You're a disgrace to the Ootori family. You always have been."Kyoya looked away. "Just leave us alone. That's all I ask.""I don't think so," Yoshio said. "Mister Suoh will want his son back. After this tirade, I sincerely doubt he'll want to keep him around for long, but that is his business, not mine."Angered, Kyoya took a step toward Yoshio. "You can't take him. He is a legal adult who can do what he wants to do."As Yoshio began to retort, the front door opened and caught his attention.Hikaru and Kaoru, with four strangers trailing closely behind them, looked around the room as if they'd seen this a million times before—not surprised, not afraid. The way the twins looked now, deadly serious with their lips curled, was not something that Kyoya was used to seeing."Leave now," Hikaru started, "And we won't call the police," Kaoru finished, holding a stare with the patriarch of the Ootori family as though he didn't feel an ounce of fear.Yoshio looked back at Kyoya but said nothing to him. Instead, he gestured for his men to exit and followed them out, leaving the Hitachiins and their new guests behind in the rubble he had created."I'll pay to fix that," Tamaki said, not looking at them. "I'm sorry.""Don't worry about it," the twins said as one.Kyoya looked from the twins to the people behind them: a tall, thin man holding a small boy in one arm and a girl's hand with his free one, and another, shorter man on the girl's other side.It didn't take him long to figure out what was going on. Just looking at them, from their dingy clothes to their rumpled hair, made something in his brain click. "So we aren't the first runaways you've ever had, I take it?""Or the last," Kaoru said with a smile, stepping aside to introduce the group. "We picked these guys up downtown. They've been hopping trains all over Japan looking for shelter from mob brutality.""It's a sad story," Hikaru remarked, rubbing the girl's shoulder soothingly.The girl, a pretty brunette with tired eyes, smiled at him. "We're very thankful for your help," she said.At the sound of her voice, Tamaki raised his eyes to look at her. Kyoya felt the way the gaze they shared erased everyone else in the room in the space of a single heartbeat, and that was when he realized that this had to be the girl from Kyoto. This was Haruhi."Tamaki?" she finally dared to ask.He joined Kyoya's side, but the latter understood that it was not to pay any heed to him, but merely to get closer to her. A buoy that happened to be on the way to the rescue ladder."Haruhi," Tamaki said, his voice a million miles away. "You're alive." ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- When Haruhi and Tamaki collided, it was obvious that the rest of the room meant nothing. It might as well have been blank space compared to the ferocity with which they gripped each other. Tamaki rocked Haruhi's frail body from side to side for so long that Kyoya almost forgot what he himself was doing there, standing there like an idiot while the man who practically saved his life clutched onto this girl like she was his whole world.When he felt that it had gone on long enough, he deigned it an appropriate time to break the bad news. "Tamaki. My father is going to contact Yuzuru and persuade him to come looking for you."Haruhi pulled back and regarded Tamaki with an irritated expression. "You're kidding. After all this time, you're still getting people into trouble with your thoughtless actions?""I—No!" He floundered for a few seconds before he thought of an escape. "Kyoya's part of the mob family, too!"Kyoya, for his part, deadpanned, "No, I'm really not."Haruhi shot Tamaki a glare. "My father and I are definitely staying in the room furthest from yours. I don't want you to come bothering us tonight.""Haruhi…" Tamaki frowned, but the girl crossed her arms, making her point known.Everyone simmered in the silence for a minute before Kaoru finally broke it. "So, uh…dinner?"/Dinner was ordered rather than served.While the repairman was busy replacing the window, Haruhi Fujioka was formally introducing herself and her father Ryoji, as well as her traveling companions, the tall, silent Takashi and the short, adorable Mitsukuni, whom Kyoya learned was much older than he looked—a year older than Kyoya himself, in fact."My father and I met them in Osaka," Haruhi was saying, gesturing to the other young travelers, whom she referred to by their nicknames, Mori and Honey. Kyoya didn't remember where the story had begun. It was possible that he hadn't been listening. "When they said they were heading to shelter, we asked to tag along. It was lucky we found them when we did, honestly."The atmosphere at the table, which had been icy to begin with, was beginning to thaw. Something about Haruhi's effortless charm made everyone feel more relaxed. All except Kyoya, who wasn't sure what to think at all.While the rest of them continued to share stories, he was caught in a web of thoughts about the evening's events and what his life had become in such a short time. He was only drawn back to the present again by the sound of Tamaki's laugh, bright and carefree against all odds.Kyoya watched as Haruhi, the cause of such laughter, smiled. "I'm sorry for getting mad earlier, Tamaki. It's just that things have been tough. I guess I let life get to me."Tamaki looked at her in a way that made Kyoya feel he ought to turn his eyes away. "It's perfectly okay," he told her. "You had good reason."The next bite that Kyoya took was somehow not as appetizing as the ones before.Haruhi reached across the table to touch Tamaki's hand. "I missed you so much," she said wistfully."I missed you more than anything I've ever missed before."Kyoya quietly excused himself to his bedroom, leaving his food half-finished on the table./Sunday he woke up at seven again. It was particularly rough this time since he hadn't gotten to sleep until three, being preoccupied with the local news and a few other unmentionable things. Unsurprisingly, the news remained ugly. "Ootori son still missing." His father only cared about the way his business looked to the public, after all.He stood, stretched, and retrieved his new, clean clothes (courtesy of the twins) from the top drawer of the dresser beneath the TV. Might as well look presentable for newer guests, not that it mattered.While he brushed his teeth and wasted time examining the dark circles under his eyes, music began playing from a room up the hall. It wasn't the usual radio hits that Tamaki let play in the mornings, low on his laptop, but a classical piece playing out of something that sounded remarkably nicer. A stereo, Kyoya guessed.A foray moments later proved him correct—it was a stereo in one of the back bedrooms, which at the moment was curiously empty yet had the door left open. The bed had been slept in. Faintly, the sound of water could be heard past the violin. Since he supposed Haruhi didn't shower with her father, he concluded that this was either Honey or Mori's room. Or both. He wasn't sure if they showered together or not.He didn't have much time to think about it before he was tapped on the shoulder from behind."Excuse me," Haruhi said, eyeing him dubiously. "Kyoya, right?"She was wearing Tamaki's blue button-down. Kyoya managed to contain his frown. "Yes, that's right. Sorry, am I in your way?""I was just bringing my father a towel. He forgot to grab one from the linen closet before he got in." She smiled at him, and he had to admit she was a beautiful young woman, especially when she was freshly-showered and had dark, dripping hair that made her brown eyes look brighter by comparison. "I just took mine down to the dryer. Hikaru said he was putting things in there anyway, so I might as well grab a new one.""Have you been up long?" Kyoya asked, stepping aside from the doorway."About an hour," Haruhi answered. She disappeared for a moment to deposit the towel, then came out, shutting the door behind her. "I'm naturally a very early riser."Kyoya only hummed. There wasn't much he was interested in discussing without breakfast.They headed downstairs together, finding Tamaki in the kitchen as usual, with Kaoru at the dining table eating a plate of peppery-looking fried eggs and Hikaru barely visible from where he stood in the laundry room loading clothes. When Kaoru looked up, he appeared to be pleased—with their arrival or with the eggs, he wasn't sure."Good morning, guys!" he said, lifting a finger at them in a lazier version of a wave."Good morning, Kaoru," Haruhi replied. While Kyoya pulled a seat to sit down, Haruhi went into the kitchen. She put a hand on Tamaki's back, raised herself onto her toes, and kissed him gently on the cheek."These eggs look surprisingly good, Tamaki," Kyoya said, examining Kaoru's half-finished plate with feigned interest."Thanks!" Tamaki said, turning around and gracing him with a broad grin. "Haruhi helped me make them! Isn't that amazing?""Amazing," Kyoya repeated without tone."She's a very good cook," Tamaki continued, facing the stove again. "Now?" he asked her, as an aside."No, wait a second, it's not ready yet." Haruhi pointed into the pan. "Hikaru wants his cooked through.""Tamaki learning to cook is just about the funniest thing I've ever seen," Kaoru said with a snort, shortly before lifting his remaining egg to his mouth. "At least he didn't destroy the kitchen this time. The maid doesn't come in on weekends.""I would have helped you clean," Haruhi said, taking the spatula from Tamaki's hand. He let her. "It's the least I can do.""We make Tamaki clean up his own messes," Hikaru said, appearing just in time for his eggs to be served to him."He makes a lot of them," Kaoru added. "Somehow.""The pancake one was on purpose," Tamaki whined. "I'm not that messy!"Hikaru wrinkled his nose. "What do you mean the pancake one was on purpose?""I'd like over easy, if you're still making them," Kyoya said, focusing on his phone. Sudoku. He wasn't actually playing it, but it made him look busy and he found that doing so stopped people from talking to him as much."Over easy!" Tamaki sing-songed. "Haruhi, I need your help!""Over medium, I meant," Kyoya said."You can make that by yourself," Haruhi said, patting Tamaki on the back. "The same thing Kaoru wanted." She left to go back upstairs.Kyoya hummed to himself. Hikaru side-eyed him from where he sat in the chair to his right. "No sleep last night, huh?" he asked.It took Kyoya a second to realize that he was being spoken to. "Oh, no, I'm afraid not. I had a lot to think about.""I bet," Hikaru said. He looked at Kaoru, who looked back."There's been a lot going on," the latter said."It makes sense," Hikaru said.Kyoya didn't even like teenagers when he was one. Their tones and shared glances were not at all subtle. "She is fantastic company thus far," he told them, making them both snicker."Really?" Tamaki asked cheerfully, swishing his hips as he cooked. "I was afraid you wouldn't like her!""Now why would you think that?" Kyoya asked, irritated at the twins' identical smirks in his direction."I dunno, Kyoya," Hikaru said."Maybe he thinks you'd be jealous," Kaoru said."Because she's so beautiful?" Tamaki asked, practically swooning. "She isn't interested in a relationship though, I'm afraid. So you're out of luck, my dear friend.""Right," Kyoya said flatly. "Oh well, better luck next time."The twins were laughing out loud now, but Tamaki was, as usual, oblivious. "What's funny?" he asked innocently."Your cooking," Kaoru said, throwing a wink to Kyoya that he didn't particularly appreciate.Teenagers knew everything. He hated it."Tamaki?" Haruhi's voice arose from the bottom of the stairs. "You haven't burned down the kitchen yet, have you?"Tamaki scooped his eggs out of the pan and offered them to her proudly. "I did no such thing, Haruhi."Haruhi smiled. "You're so weird." She leaned over to kiss him on the mouth, but he had turned to give a thumbs-up to the table at the same time, resulting in the kiss winding on sloppily on his temple, instead. Haruhi rolled her eyes and set the plate on the table. "Here you go, Kyoya.""Thanks," he said without looking at her.Haruhi blew a puff of air from the side of her mouth. "Okay…"The stairs creaked, drawing the attention of everyone at the table. "Who's that?" Tamaki asked. "Are they hungry?""It's Mori and my dad," Haruhi answered for him. "Dad likes his over medium too. Mori?"Mori grunted and pointed at Ryoji."Make that two," Haruhi said."Two eggs?""Two orders of eggs."Haruhi sat in the seat to Kyoya's left and regarded him with interest. "So hey, you're running too, huh?"Kyoya nodded."How long?""About a month," he said. "And you have been for four years now, correct?""Wow. Yeah," Haruhi replied. "Did Tamaki tell you that?"Sort of. "Yes.""We were relocated so suddenly that we didn't realize moving again would get us followed all over Japan." Haruhi sighed. "It's scary when you can't go home.""Unless it's scarier at home," Kyoya commented offhandedly.Haruhi seemed to be considering this. "I guess I'm pretty lucky in a lot of ways.""You don't have to do that," Kyoya told her."Do what?""Always look on the bright side. You don't have to use other people's circumstances as excuses for why you should be happier."Haruhi thought for a second, then smiled. "You know, Kyoya, that's a good point. Thanks."Kyoya forced himself to smile back. "You're welcome, Haruhi. Any time." ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- That day was longer than the others.Honey was a chatterbox when he finally woke up at noon, Hikaru and Kaoru kept dogging him, and Tamaki and Haruhi were constantly together as if they were joined at the hip. He found solace with Mori out in the garden, only because Mori didn't particularly like to talk. Sometimes Kyoya found that silence was best.The garden was remarkably beautiful, with tall topiaries along the fence and a healthy, sizable lawn. A few feet into the grass was a stone water fountain with a two-person bench at the base, neatly flanked by two potted sunflowers.It was very peaceful until Honey flung the doors open and sped through the grass, arms in the air. Kyoya had a hand to his chest, but Mori was completely unfazed; he must have been used to it.Not two seconds later, the twins and Tamaki appeared, bearing armfuls of dance mats. Where from, Kyoya couldn't say. Haruhi followed closely behind them with her father in tow, though he looked reluctant to be participating in whatever was happening.Without a cue, Mori stood."What are they doing?" Kyoya asked."No idea," Mori answered. He joined Honey's side, and Kyoya mentally noted that, like the twins, they looked much more comfortable when they were together as a duo. Even if Mori did not express it as much, Kyoya could tell by the way his features relaxed. He wondered if he looked like that around Tamaki; he wondered if that was how the twins caught on."Kyoya!" Tamaki hollered across the lawn, waving his arm theatrically. "Come try this with us! Haruhi's gonna teach us how to do yoga!"Kyoya wished he had a book to duck his head into to make a point that he didn't want to join. Instead, when he didn't rise immediately, Tamaki and Honey came bounding back over with matched levels of excitement, like yoga had been on their bucket list for years."Tamaki, I'd rather not," he said, trying his best to ignore the puppy eyes."It's not hard," Honey told him, smiling gleefully. Even up close he looked like a child, not like the twenty-one-year-old that he was. "Takashi and I did a little back in high school. He's better at it than I am, though.""I'm not one for exercise," Kyoya told him. "I appreciate the invitation, though.""Kyoya," Tamaki pouted, bending to meet him at eye-level. "Come on." Just when he was beginning to consider, Tamaki put his hands on Kyoya's waist and whispered in his ear, "I think you'd like it."Kyoya bit in the inside part of his lip to calm the rush of anger that whipped through his body. Tamaki couldn't flirt his way into getting what he wanted. Not when Kyoya knew he'd run right back to Haruhi the moment he was out of sight."I'm not in the mood," he said curtly, turning his head to the side to check his phone.Tamaki looked put off. "I mean, if you really don't want to…""I don't.""I thought it would be fun.""I'm sure it will be."From his peripheral vision, he saw Honey and Tamaki share a concerned look. When they finally shrugged it off and let him be, Kyoya returned to the bedroom. He tried to tell himself it wasn't to escape, but he wasn't successful when it came to fooling himself.Exhaustion hit him like a lead weight. He shrugged his shirt off and tossed it onto the bed, followed by his pants. Perhaps a nap would do him good. Or better yet, he thought, a shower.Killing time was easier alone, if a lot less entertaining. By the time he even thought to un-quarantine himself it was dinner time, and he caught everyone at the bottom of the stairs mid-discussion."None of you know how to cook? Anything?" Haruhi was asking, sounding equal parts incredulous and annoyed."Nuh-uh," Honey said. "Mori and I eat out a lot.""We have a housekeeper to do that for us," the twins said, like it should have been obvious."Then what do you eat on weekends?" Haruhi asked, putting her hands on her hips.Hikaru said "Takeaway" at the same time Kaoru said "Ramen, mostly."Haruhi sighed."Well, Kyoya can cook," Tamaki offered, flashing a hopeful smile at him. Haruhi and the others turned to look at him."Ah…so I take it that means I'm helping make dinner?" he asked, already knowing the answer."I want dango!" Honey exclaimed.Mori chuckled and ruffled his hair. Kyoya found it charming, in a weird way. "We can't eat dango for dinner," he said, tapping his chin thoughtfully. "But if you're patient, I can make sushi."Haruhi's mouth made a little "o" at the same time the twins offered an emphatic "mmmm" sound."Sushi it is!" Tamaki declared. "If you guys need any help—""No," Haruhi and Kyoya said at the same time. They glanced at each other, then back at Tamaki.Tamaki deflated a little bit. "I'm not that bad of a cook, am I?""Sushi is a little advanced," Haruhi said. "Just let me and Kyoya take care of it, okay?""Fine," Tamaki said dramatically, "if that's how it is…""You act like you're being shunned," Haruhi told him with a longsuffering look."You get used to it," Kyoya said, perhaps more fondly than he'd meant to./Sushi was a success, and, as it turned out, Haruhi actually was a very capable chef. She had never made sushi before but she'd caught on quickly.Dinner was a lot more comfortable than it had been the evening before. No broken windows and no tension. Sometimes all you needed was a homemade meal, Kyoya supposed. Even if you weren't exactly home.Hours later, when everyone had retired to their rooms for the night, he let himself out the back door and into the garden. He spent the better half of an hour contemplating where he might go from here, hovering particularly on the revelation that the world was so much brighter now that he got to control his place in it. He wasn't sure he knew what to do with himself, now that the future that had been written for him went up in smoke.He was still sitting on the bench beside the fountain, wrapped up in his thoughts, when the door creaked open once again.When Tamaki sat down beside him he wasn't surprised, but he still chose to say nothing. Within the minute, as he was wont to do, Tamaki did all the talking for him, anyway. "It's nice out, isn't it? I'm glad there's a breeze. It gets kind of hot around here otherwise." Kyoya hummed in agreement. A few seconds were allotted so they could listen to the windchimes tinkling, and then he began again. "What are you thinking about?""A lot of things.""Like?"Kyoya sighed."It's okay if you don't want to tell me," Tamaki said. When Kyoya looked at him, he was looking up at the stars. "You wanna know what I'm thinking?""Sure, Tamaki," Kyoya said gently. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that it might make sense for them to part ways soon. With Kyoya out of his father's business and so retroactively his life, there wasn't any good reason to stick around anymore."I'm thinking that I could stay here forever. I know I can't, but it's very nice here with you and the twins.""It is," Kyoya agreed. "And Mori and Honey. And Haruhi." He added, trying not to look at him."They have to go soon," Tamaki told him, a frown curling his lips. This caught Kyoya off guard."Where?""They're trying to make it to Matsuyama. They hope it will be enough to finally be free, since off the mainland our families don't control everything.""I hope they get there safely.""That's nice of you, Kyoya. I know you don't like Haruhi very much."Kyoya looked at him quizzically. Had the twins told him that? "I like her fine," he said. It was the truth."Oh, really?" Tamaki smiled at him. "That makes me happy. She is very lovable, isn't she?""Hard to pretend otherwise."Tamaki laughed, and Kyoya tried not to get too attached to the sound. He couldn't afford to anymore.After a lengthy silence, Tamaki's features changed. Obviously, he'd hit a roadblock in his thoughts, and the more he chewed his lip in an uncharacteristic display of worry, the more curious Kyoya got. He knew, of course, that if he let him parse his thoughts, he would tell him in due time. The reliability was rather nice.When the moment of inner turmoil passed, Tamaki came through, as he always did. "Why didn't you go with your father?" He cornered him with a particularly serious stare, and Kyoya didn't even want to try to look away. It was strangely fascinating, seeing Tamaki like this. His eyes still glittered and his laugh lines still gave the impression of a bubbly young man, but genuine concern was still discernible in his features.Kyoya sighed. "If I had, my life would have been ruined. My fate was sealed the minute I walked out the door with you in that sad shack my father calls a clinic, and I knew that. If I went back, I'd have to spend my whole life making up for what I did.""Yeah," Tamaki said, offering him a small smile. "You wouldn't want that kind of life, would you?""I don't really want this kind of life, either." Kyoya said, watching with a stab of regret as Tamaki's smile fell. "That isn't your fault." Well, it sort of is. Just nothing you could control."You don't have to stay here," Tamaki said, almost sadly."Where else would I go?"The other seemed to be deliberating with himself, but after a moment decided on what to say. "Well…" He took a breath. "I haven't gotten through all the details, but I actually have a plan.""You do?" Kyoya asked, intrigued. He couldn't take for granted that a plan of Tamaki's involved him.Tamaki perked up at his enthusiasm. "I want to go to France. If I can make it back there, I can reunite with my mother. I haven't seen her in years." Just as Kyoya had begun to absorb this information, Tamaki spoke again, hitting him squarely with a question. "Do you want to come with me?""I…" Kyoya looked out into the garden at nothing in particular. "I wouldn't want to intrude on your newly rekindled romance," he said tonelessly.Tamaki fiddled with his shirt sleeve for a moment. When he spoke again, his voice had changed somehow. "Haruhi isn't going."The tension in Kyoya's body melted away and he hated himself for it. "I'm sorry to hear that," he lied."Will you come?"Ignoring the question, Kyoya charged forward with, "Do you still love her?"Tamaki kept his gaze trained on his face, but Kyoya refused to look him in the eye. "You'll come, won't you?" he persisted."Did you ever fall out of love with her?""Would it matter if I hadn't?"Silence; and then, "No."Tamaki laughed once. "I can tell you're lying."Empty of the panic he imagined that he should have been feeling, Kyoya shrugged one shoulder. "Lying gets you where you need to go sometimes."He expected that to be the end of it. Tamaki would go inside and pretend this conversation never happened, and Kyoya would bide his time until Tamaki fled to France and left his life for good. What he received instead was a teasing declaration. "I am appalled at your line of thinking, Kyoya! Honesty is the best policy, you know!""Everybody has secrets," Kyoya retaliated, fighting not to roll his eyes."What are yours?" Tamaki asked, poking him in the shoulder."I was always afraid of my father rejecting me."Again, the cheer simply faded away from Tamaki's face. "Oh, I…""That's not my biggest secret," Kyoya continued, finally turning to look at the other. He gave a long sigh, then said, "I'm thankful you saved me from that wretched business. Without you I might have stayed there, hating everything forever. I'm glad I got to stay here with you.""Yeah?" Tamaki asked, looking at him with raw, honest merriment. Before Kyoya could think better of it, he leaned closer so that their shoulders touched. "You sure that's your biggest secret?" the other continued, his voice barely above a whisper."Not anymore, idiot," Kyoya said fondly. He allowed himself a smile."There's not one more thing?" Tamaki asked, giving him a doe-eyed look as though he could win him over any more than he already had."I don't consider the last thing to be a secret," Kyoya admitted, his gaze flickering from Tamaki's eyes to his mouth, then back up again."In that case," Tamaki began, inching closer, "I have no secrets anymore, either."Kyoya could feel the warmth of Tamaki's breath fan over his lips, but before that burning coil between them could unravel, just as their lips nearly touched, Kyoya heard the sound of a gun cocking behind his head.He had never felt so torn apart.The last thing he saw was a gloved hand covering Tamaki's mouth and jerking him to a standing position. After that, everything went black. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- When he opened his eyes, the world was beautiful and new. It was just before dawn and the sky was hazy and barely-lit. The dewy grass in which he lay had provided him with a weightless deep sleep, one that he might have enjoyed if he could remember how he had gotten there. That was the first thing to worry him; the second thing was the roiling pain in his head and stomach.He couldn't tell if he was dizzy because he was nauseated or vice versa, though he supposed the specifics didn't matter when he found himself on his hands and knees, emptying his stomach into the grass seconds after the pain registered. It took immense effort for him to struggle to his feet. He fought his way through the Hitachiin backyard, open palms held in front of him, helping him map his way back to the door. Even with the details being hazy, he knew that Tamaki was in trouble and that meant he had to act fast.He jiggled the doorknob, only to find that the door was locked. "Of course," he muttered. It was early and no one would be awake at this hour. He slumped against the door and pressed the pads of his fingers into his forehead. Think, dammit. What happened?The dizziness, the nausea—all signs pointed to chloroform. He considered this. Yoshio never left a chemical trail, so it clicked immediately that Yuzuru was likely the guilty party. It made the most sense, anyway: he could have easily sent his men out into the night, hell-bent on recapturing a son gone rogue.Kyoya looked up at the pink-gray sky and drew a shaky breath. It was his fault they had been outside in the open the way they'd been last night. He knew they were in danger, yet he allowed them to be vulnerable for just a moment too long. Stupid.When his afflictions passed to a minor enough stage that he could stand and see clearly without feeling ill, he was on the move. One phone call to the nearest cab company later he was not only fully lucid but dealing with a stroke of adrenaline like a match had been struck somewhere deep within him. When the taxi pulled up to the Hitachiin manor in as timely a manner as promised, he was barely inside before he gave the direction. "Ouran Academy, please.""You in a hurry?" the driver asked. Kyoya caught his eyes in the rearview mirror and was relieved to see a stranger looking back at him, as opposed to someone who might have known him through his dad."Late for a meeting," he lied while he fastened his seatbelt. "It's very important, so I insist you drive quickly."/The halls of Ouran Academy still felt familiar to him, despite his two-year absence from their presence. It was early enough in the morning that they were void of students and staff, leaving Kyoya alone with only his thoughts and the incessant clicking of his shoes on the tiled floor, which echoed all the way up to the tops of the vaulted ceilings.At the back of the school's first story, just before he reached the exit leading into the garden, he turned the corner and approached the door to Yuzuru Suoh's office, solitary and imposing in its own little corridor. His name was printed on a gold placard, mounted to the door just below the little glass window that offered the barest view inside.Kyoya prepared himself for anything, be it violence or professional phone calls. He knocked once, twice, three times, and waited patiently in complete silence.When the door opened, Yuzuru regarded him with misty eyes, something that was not among the reactions he had been expecting. Still, he remained cordial in his greeting, as though nothing were wrong."Mister Suoh," he offered pleasantly.Yuzuru stepped aside and allowed him into his office before quietly shutting the door behind them and taking his seat behind his desk."We both know why I am here," Kyoya said, keeping his tone even, his hands folded properly in his lap."You want to see my son," Yuzuru said. It wasn't a question. "I'm afraid he isn't here.""Where might I find him?"Yuzuru looked down at his own hands and studied his palms with a sudden rapturous interest. Before he looked back up he had to take a long breath. "Truthfully, I'm not sure.""Nothing about the situation necessitated the violence you used," Kyoya said, trying hard not to sound accusatory but failing. "He hadn't done anything wrong.""You see, it was your father," Yuzuru said slowly, gauging the younger man's reaction. "He informed me—erroneously, I'm afraid—that you had masterminded my son's kidnapping. By force, that is. So, naturally I saw you as a threat, my dear boy. It was an error of judgement on my part, as well as a miscommunication on your father's.""That was no miscommunication," Kyoya said. "I'm sure he meant to make it sound as though I was to blame for all of this."Yuzuru looked at him with sad, tired eyes and held up a neatly-folded piece of paper, inside of which was a note inked in delicate cursive. "Tamaki told me everything. What my, ah, private affairs meant for his life, and what Yoshio's meant for yours. It's my fault for involving him in the first place. I was wrong to do so.""Why don't you go looking for him?" Kyoya asked, keeping his gaze trained on the letter."I've done enough damage to his life already. I'm no longer going to concern myself with his decisions, as I'd rather he make them on his own from now on." For a fraction of a second, Kyoya made the mistake of looking defeated, and Yuzuru's stoic façade crumbled. He folded the note back into a neat little square and slid it across the desk. "The letter did not say where he went, but I would be willing to bet he is heading for his mother's home in Paris."Surprised, Kyoya took the letter and looked up at the man with brows raised. "What are you saying?""I'm saying that…should you want to look for him, I'd be entirely willing to fund your flight to France."After a couple attempts to speak failed him, Kyoya eventually settled on a hushed, "Thank you, sir.""I only ask one thing of you in return.""Of course, Mister Suoh.""Tell him I'm sorry, and that I am proud of him for the man he has become."/He arrived back at the twins' house with a sizable check weighing heavy in his pocket. When he knocked on the front door, it flew open, revealing a disheveled Kaoru still in pajama pants and slippers, his hair a mess. Some distance behind him, the remaining house guests had gathered into a clump and were mumbling amongst themselves."Kyoya!" Hikaru called from the group, leading all eyes to the man."Where is Tamaki?" Kaoru asked, wrapping his fingers around Kyoya's arm in a panic. "When Hikaru and I realized that you guys weren't here, we—""We were worried sick, idiot!" Hikaru said, no hint of malice or anger in his tone; on the contrary, his eyes were wrought with worry and he looked paler than usual."Tamaki is fine," Kyoya told them. He could see the relief spread through the entire group. "It's over. Everything has been dealt with and…" he hesitated to say "fixed," but Haruhi took the weight off his tongue."And life is back to normal?" She looked happier for him than he could even be for himself. "That's all any of us could hope for, isn't it?" She looked from her father to Honey and Mori, then back to him. "Where is he, then?""Paris, France.""Paris?" she repeated, taken aback. "He must have gone to find his mom.""I'm going to find him" Kyoya told her. "Whether or not he wants to come back is his decision, but there is a lot left to tell him…from all of us."The twins smiled at him. Slowly, Haruhi approached him, lifted his hands in hers, and offered a smile of her own. "I wish you the best of luck, Kyoya.""Thank you, Haruhi. The way Tamaki loves you so dearly, I know you must be a very caring, trustworthy person. I am sad to leave without knowing you better, and I'm sorry for the way I acted before.""It's okay. I know why you were the way you were toward me."Kyoya blinked a couple times. He looked at the twins, who shrugged, then regarded Haruhi with unmasked confusion. "Pardon me?"Haruhi's charming smile melted into a knowing smirk, complete with pointedly-raised eyebrows. "Tamaki has a funny way of getting through to you in ways you never thought were possible. He might be a spaz, but he loves with his whole heart and nothing less.""I…" Kyoya cleared his throat, only to be effectively silenced when Haruhi winked at him."But you knew that."He was at a loss for words until the twins approached him from behind, each of them laying a hand on his shoulder. "You should hurry," Hikaru said."There's a flight heading that way in two hours," Kaoru said."They're right," Haruhi said with a nod. "I hope we meet again someday.""I hope the very same," he told her before turning to face the twins. "Thank you for all your kindness.""Get out of here, stupid," Hikaru said with a grin.Kaoru laughed, spun him around by the shoulders, and shoved him toward the door. "You don't wanna be late for boarding!"Kyoya looked back over his shoulder and waved at them. "I'll give him everyone's regards," he promised."And tell him he's an idiot," Kaoru said."For us," Hikaru added, leaning on his brother's side."Of course," Kyoya replied, just before he took the first steps out of his old life and into the newer, freer version of it that he'd never imagined he could have. Just a flight across the water laid Paris in waiting, and somewhere in that city he would find the man who had given it all to him. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- When he had first arrived in Paris, the last dredges of daylight were just beginning to fade. The city was still alive and buzzing with communication, but he was able to navigate to the nearest hostel without pushing through a crowd, which made the experience easier than it was currently—the morning after the first splendid sleep he'd had in a month.The café he currently occupied was noisy, comforting in the same way the ocean was; he might have been surrounded by life, but he hardly noticed since none of it was invading his space. The voices and clicking glasses were simply white noise to him now.With the last of the cash in his wallet, he bought a cappuccino, something he downed with ferocity so that, for most of his visit, he sat with an empty cup in hand, staring through the window at no one fixed location. He wasn't sure what he was expecting to see, or why he was still sitting there. Something in him screamed to go, go, go already, but something else held him back.He wasn't sure how long he sat at the table in some bizarre, self-inflicted solitary confinement, but eventually he thought of the bed at the Hitachiin manor, unused without good reason. A fear of comfort, maybe. Or worse, a fear of overstaying his welcome.Maybe Tamaki had left without him for a reason.Kyoya sighed and absently twisted his cup between his fingers.It wasn't long past noon when he forced himself to stand and withdraw his phone, patiently awaiting directions to the abode of one Miss Anne-Sophie to load. He had come this far already, and the worst Tamaki could do would be to turn him away.France was beautiful, he told himself. He could stay with or without Tamaki. All of this was sourly hollow in his head, but his legs were already moving before he could think better (or worse) about it.Outside, it was almost hellishly sunny, something he grudgingly endured at best and vehemently loathed at worst. People brushed by him in every direction, acting as a large, teeming mass that seemed to exist solely for the purpose of slowing him down.When he did finally make it as far north as he needed to be, to the place where the houses began to look more and more like fairytale cottages, he paused to reassemble himself. The path ahead was a long, winding dirt road, as quaintly country-like as France could stand to be. The trees were rustling gently on either side of him, and he could hear the sunbeams shout down at the earth aggressively.At the peak of the day he saw it, a beautiful house with a cobbled walkway out front, and a clothesline fashioned out of poles and wire some feet away from the front window, upon which billowed blindingly white sheets.It was all perfectly scenic and picturesque, yet he prepared himself for better. For the beauty and kindness of Anne-Sophie that he'd heard so much about—that he had seen in person in the form of her glowing, jubilant son.He approached the door and took a breath, but the moment his knuckles ghosted over the pale wood, his phone buzzed in his pocket. Somewhat thankful for the excuse to stall, he pulled it out and was surprised to see the name Tamaki, tiny and neatly-typed, across the screen. For a second he forgot how to breathe, but he reminded himself that this is what he had come for.He brought the phone up to his ear. He did not say hello."Kyoya?" Tamaki's voice crackled to life, sounding more than a little worried."Yes, it's me," Kyoya replied."Good!" The worry turned off like a light switch. "I know you're probably freaking out, but I can explain.""Why would I be freaking out?" he teased, putting his back to the door and sinking down to sit on the porch."You ass," Tamaki said back, remarkably happier than Kyoya was used to hearing, if that were even possible. "Guess what, though? I'm safe.""I know.""So you talked to my dad, huh?""What makes you so sure I didn't just guess?" Kyoya asked."Because I know that the first place you'd go would be to my father." When Tamaki said this, it was earnest and thankful. Kyoya wasn't quite sure how to respond. Luckily for him, though, Tamaki saw fit to continue his explanation. "I snuck out through my bedroom window. It was all very exciting." He sighed, almost wistfully. "But, ah, I called because I wanted to ask you something.""Yes, Tamaki?""I know it's kind of far away and it's an expensive trip, but… I'm in Paris with my mother, like I told you I'd planned to do. I know the twins would help you buy a ticket if you wanted, since I'm sure your card doesn't work anymore." At that, Kyoya snorted, but he allowed the other to continue. He looked down at the brick and began absently fiddling with a fallen leaf. "I was wondering…would you still like to come with me?" There was a brief silence, then a quick, "I mean, Paris is a gorgeous city."Kyoya smiled. "I know what you mean.""Have you ever been—" Tamaki stopped short."Been to Paris? As a matter of fact, I—" Kyoya happened to look up to see, just across the yard, Tamaki standing there, phone still in hand, with a brown paper bag balanced on one hip, looking back at him with about as much shock as Kyoya felt at the sight of him."You're here," Tamaki breathed into the phone."I am," Kyoya replied, before snapping his phone closed and rising to his feet.His plan had been to wait for Tamaki to put the bag down inside, but the latter had different ideas. He all but tossed the bag onto the ground, letting a few apples scatter across the lawn, and raced over to catch Kyoya in a hug that nearly toppled him over.For an achingly long moment he couldn't breathe, but when Tamaki eased up to look at him, eyes starry and fearfully close to tears, Kyoya felt nothing but a deep-seated satisfaction, like taking a deep breath after you've been holding it."It's not like I had died," he said, one corner of his mouth quirking upward despite himself."I know!" Tamaki howled, crushing the other's ribs in a hug again. "But I can't believe you're here!"He found enough inner strength to loop his arms around Tamaki's waist. "Out of all the places in the world you could go, this would be the first I'd think of."Tamaki went pink up to his ears and regarded him with narrowed eyes. "No way. I haven't been back home in ages! You don't think anyone will find me here, do you?"Kyoya waded through the various options he had for a proper response, eventually to settle with the decision to humor him. "Well, most people don't know you as well as I do, so I suppose overall this wasn't an awful choice."Tamaki's mouth made a wavy line that Kyoya had a hard time reading. When he raised a brow at him, the other man was suddenly closer than he had been before, and all at once Kyoya tasted what true freedom was like."Kyoya?" Tamaki said lightly, cocking his head to the side a fraction. The bravado that he usually wore had been wiped away with the threat of facing what he had begun to say, and this did not bode well for Kyoya's pulse."What is it?" he pressed, watching the other man laugh, more out of nerves than out of humor."This is a lot harder to do than the movies made it look.""Trust me, Tamaki, our lives are not anything like the movies," Kyoya said, gingerly bringing their foreheads together. This alone seemed to quell the other man's rising nerves, at least long enough for him to relax into him."I love you," he said at length, no holds barred and nothing frilly—just that, marked by him smiling boyishly with his hands all threaded up in the back of Kyoya's hair.Kyoya felt as though the world could explode at any moment, and he would die happy. "I love you too, idiot."Tamaki lifted Kyoya's glasses off the bridge of his nose and examined him for a moment. Though Tamaki was just a blur now, Kyoya would have been hard pressed not to realize that the other was grinning. At least, he had been until he kissed him, making Kyoya catch his weight with his foot behind him as Tamaki practically bowled him over with the intensity.When they pulled apart, Tamaki was laughing and Kyoya was rubbing his bottom lip as if trying to process whether that had actually happened. He retrieved his glasses and readjusted himself in time for Tamaki to grab his hand and yank him toward the front door."You'll love my mom," he said animatedly, knocking on the wood with more enthusiasm than was probably necessary to alert Anne-Sophie to their presence. "She's the kindest woman you'll ever meet."Kyoya smiled. "I don't doubt it."They waited until the door opened, revealing a woman very close to her son in terms of both looks and height. When she saw Kyoya, her face changed like she was going to cry; he saw where Tamaki got his emotional side."Oh, René, my love," she said, clutching Tamaki to her chest in an emphatic embrace. "This is him, isn't it? This is Kyoya! He's beautiful."Kyoya had been called many things, but beautiful was not usually among them."I told her about you," Tamaki admitted unnecessarily, rubbing the back of his neck."What about me, exactly?" Kyoya asked, allowing himself to be engulfed in Anne-Sophie's hug but still sparing a concerned glance over her shoulder at Tamaki, who smiled apologetically."Everything?" he answered, giving the word an inflection like it was a question."Everything," Anne-Sophie confirmed, stepping back and looking at him with her hands still squarely on his shoulders. When she winked, Kyoya developed a sudden fluttery feeling in his stomach thinking about just what "everything" might have entailed."So introductions are superfluous, I suppose," he said. He cleared his throat and tried to look anywhere but at her face. As if sensing this, she gripped his cheeks in her hands and smiled dazzlingly brightly at him."Oh, no, sweetheart! I want to hear it all."Kyoya smiled awkwardly, first at her, then at Tamaki when the woman finally released his face and gestured inside. "You are welcome to stay with us for as long as you'd like.""I wouldn't want to impose," he said, already melting into an agreement at the way Tamaki looked at him pleadingly. "So…I'll do anything I can to help."He followed Anne-Sophie into the house with Tamaki all but draped on his shoulder, and the sight of the sizable foyer brought something to mind. "Tamaki," he said, looking around curiously as the man led him through the entryway and into the living area."Yes, Kyoya?""You've got a lot of phone calls to make today."The man's eyes sparkled. "I guess now's as good a time as any to say hello to the twins.""And Haruhi," Kyoya said with the barest hint of a nod. He handed Tamaki his phone, which he accepted. "And, if I'm not mistaken, Honey and Mori should still be there as well."Tamaki set his jaw to the side thoughtfully, then slid the phone into his back pocket. Then, he reached down for Kyoya's hand and squeezed it. "I'll call them later. For now, how about breakfast?""That depends. What are we having?""Well, you know me," Tamaki said with a cheeky smile, "I'm partial to pancakes." ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- It had been a year since Kyoya Ootori had shed the weight of his past, leaving his family and country behind for a new and better life in Paris with one Tamaki Suoh.It had been only a year, but the past came back to find him in the least likely way.The day had begun as normal, with Kyoya sitting at the little round dinner table beside the kitchen, sipping his coffee as his own personal greeting to the early morning. He scrolled through news headlines on his phone, a feat that was happening mostly out of idle boredom until he came across one that struck his interest. Yuuchio Ootori Takes Over Family Medical Business. With interest in the state of the family affairs he'd left behind, he clicked the link and took another drink of his coffee.As he was reading over the last bit of the article, Tamaki appeared, clad in a pair of baby blue pajama pants with messy hair and tired eyes. "Good morning," he greeted, punctuating it with a yawn that Kyoya found to be unfortunately contagious. He shuffled across the room and pressed a kiss to Kyoya's forehead before he leaned his chin on his shoulder. "Whatcha reading?""News," Kyoya said simply, tilting his phone upward so Tamaki could see."Oh… Don't worry, Kyoya. I'm sure nothing much will change.""I'm not worried," Kyoya said, then, after a moment of consideration, added, "Actually, I had a different line of thought."Instantly, Tamaki perked up. "Yeah?""My father and the family are in Paris unveiling the new business center they purchased for my brother.""Yeah…" Tamaki repeated, voice becoming skeptical. "And?""I think we ought to pay them a visit."Tamaki frowned. "Oh, ah—you mean, go to see your dad? Together?" When Kyoya nodded, the blond forced a smile. "If you want to, Kyoya. I'd be happy to…well, I'll come with you."Kyoya chuckled and leaned back so that Tamaki could kiss him on the lips this time. "I would appreciate the company," he said, and the other's smile became genuine."Anything for you, Kyoya."/When Yoshio caught sight of them after the unveiling ceremony, there was no surprise in his features. Similarly, his two brothers approached them without interest, busy talking to each other. His mother and sister, however, looked ecstatic, and he didn't have time to fend off a tight hug from each of them in unison, complete with shrill cries about love and loneliness and how much he was missed.Yoshio looked at his middle son for a second in silence, taking in the relaxed clothes he wore. Finally, after enough deliberation, he nodded. "My son, I owe you an apology."Kyoya's mother squeezed her husband's hand. Fuyumi stepped back to join her brothers."Is that so?" he asked, stealing a glance at Tamaki, who, despite his trepidation about coming, looked perfectly happy and comfortable. "I'm anxious to hear it.""What I said to you when we last spoke to each other…" Yoshio pursed his lips."Honey," Misses Ootori said, smiling wanly at her son. "Your father loves you.""You've come very far on your own," Yoshio said with a nod—his way of agreeing with her without having to say it aloud. "And, after all, standing up to me requires a kind of bravery I should have known you possessed." Hesitantly, he took a step forward and extended a hand to Kyoya, smiling at him. "I can't undo the sins of my past, but if you find it in your heart to forgive me, I'd be honored.""That's something we'll have to discuss in a more private place," Kyoya said, with a measured, polite smile. "But for now, I am very interested in hearing how you all have been.""That is fair," Yoshio admitted, letting his hand fall back to his side. "We have been faring well, in terms of family and business. Yuuichi is going to take over the professional side of things from now on, since he and his wife seemed very well-equipped at this stage of their lives.""That's fantastic," Kyoya said, sounding genuine but feeling far from it."Other than that, nothing much has changed. For you, however, I'm sure a great many things have. I'm curious as to how your life is going.""Fantastic," Kyoya answered, lifting his chin the slightest bit. "Tamaki and I work together at a florist up the road from his mother's house. His father helps us get along fine, but we rather enjoy the labor.""Excellent. I see you two have formed a very splendid, if unexpected, friendship."Tamaki looked over at Kyoya with a knowing look, and Kyoya, taking that as a cue, extended his hand, palm down, toward his father. "As a matter of fact," he began, smiling at his mother's loud gasp, "we're engaged to be married."Yoshio looked taken aback, which is exactly the expression Kyoya had been hoping for. Trying not to revel in it too terribly much, he allowed his mother to examine the ring for a brief moment before retracting his hand."Congratulations!" Misses Ootori exclaimed, throwing her arms around Kyoya's shoulders, then moving over to hug Tamaki with an equal amount of enthusiasm. She cupped her hands around Tamaki's cheeks, something that made the man erupt with bubbly laughter."She's as touchy as my mother," he commented, watching with amusement as she pulled away and reached out to squeeze her husband's hand again."My goodness, son," Yoshio said, after a measured silence, "you are certainly full of surprises."Tamaki wound an arm around Kyoya's waist and shrugged one shoulder. "You know, Mister Ootori, I've realized that about him, too. I find that it's a lot of the reason I fell in love with him."Yoshio sighed and held his hand out to Tamaki, who shook it with enthusiasm. "I'm very sorry for the trouble I have caused you as well, Mister Suoh.""For me it's all in the past," Tamaki said. "The important part is in the future, and we've got a long stretch of it ahead of us.""That you do," Yoshio agreed. "And, if at all possible, I would like to be part of it.""That means a lot, Father," Kyoya said. "We have a lot of making up to do, but I hope to see you at the wedding."Yoshio looked between the two of them, then at his wife. With a sincerity Kyoya hadn't heard in a long time, his father said to him, "I wouldn't miss it for the world."
10447959	Impossible Things	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Ellie Miller (Broadchurch), Alec Hardy", "Fandom": "Broadchurch", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by everythingmurky", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-26T00:00:00", "words": "348", "Additional Tags": "Fluff, Attempt at Humor, Established Relationship", "Relationship": "Alec Hardy/Ellie Miller", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	“This should fall under the category of impossible.”He opened an eye and peered at her for a moment before muttering, “Go back to sleep, Miller.”She shook her head. “No, I can't. I've been lying here, thinking about it, and it just feels so... wrong. We're here like this because my husband killed an eleven year old boy. The man I loved was not at all who I thought he was, and the man I hated... he was much better than I thought he was.”“Was? You know I'm not dead. Would think you of all people knew that.”She almost laughed, well aware of what they'd done before falling asleep together. “Wanker. Of course I know you're alive. How is it you're just as impossible when you're half asleep as when you're awake? Doesn't anything change that?”“You keep using that word,” he said. “I don't think it means what you think it means.”She stared at him. “Did you just quote a movie?”“Daisy's favorite.”“Of course.”“Go to sleep, Miller.”She sighed. “I can't figure out how this happened.”He gave her a dark look. “You had plenty of time to back out long before this. And I'm in no mood to put up with your buyer's remorse. You want to tell yourself you made the wrong choice, do it somewhere else.”“Somewhere else than the hotel we're sharing because we're on our honeymoon?”“Aye.”She reached over to join their hands again, touching her ring to hers. “Everything is so different now.”“Doesn't make it impossible,” he said. “It's just... what it is.”“And that is?”“Us.”She nodded, starting to settle back down. “Wait. You haven't done it.”“What the hell are you talking about now?”“Well, I assumed I'd see it now that we're spending our nights together, but you still haven't prayed that I'll stop asking you questions.”He laughed. “Why would I do that when I have better ways of making you shut up?”“Is that a threat?”“Do you want it to be?”“Maybe.”“Now who's being impossible?”
10415808	Stiles and Philip	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Stiles Stilinski, Philip Shea, Helen Torrance, Gabe Caldwell, Noah Stilinski", "Fandom": "Eyewitness (US TV)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Not Rated", "author": "by semi_problematic", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-23T00:00:00", "words": "1,213", "Additional Tags": "Fluff, let me have this ship, it's so good", "Relationship": "Stiles Stilinski/Philip Shea", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Before They Date - Teachers would call Stiles out for staring at Philip during class - Scott has to literally make Stiles ask Philip out - Lydia always talking about how pretty he is and Stiles being like "i called dibs back off." - they both would check each other out and everyone could tell they were into each other but each other - They got partnered up for a project once and they were using hot glue guns and Stiles glued his fingers together and he almost cried and Philip had to help him (Philip always says that's when he knew he was in love with Stiles.) - Stiles totally would like check Philip out in the halls and he'd be like "Scott, he looks so good in blue." And Scott is just like "you say that about every color of shirt he wears." - STILES GETS SO PETTY THAT HE ROASTS EVERY GUY THAT TALKS TO PHILIP BEHIND THEIR BACK BC HES JEALOUS ~Dating Headcanons - Stiles asking for a good luck kiss before every lacrosse game (Philip of course gives it to him after calling him an idiot.) - STILES DRIVING PHILIP TO SCHOOL - Philip listening to Stiles talk about all his theories (AND PHILIP HELPING HIM WITH HIS LIL MURDER BOARD LOOKING THINGS.) - So many fucking selfies like Stiles would snapchat Philip 24/7 - Stiles ranting to Lydia and Scott because he's scared some sort of weird monster will hurt him - Philip making fun of Stiles for being the "normal" one of the group - Philip helping Stiles with his anxiety - Scott having to protect Philip from Nogitsune!Stiles - Philip and Lydia would so be best friends and she'd have him take pretty pictures of her for her Instagram and Tumblr - Sheriff Stilinski giving Stiles the sex talk before Philip comes over and the rest of the day Stiles stays like 5 feet away from him. (He also gives Stiles condoms.) - Stiles telling tons of people to fight him 24/7 and Philip is always like "Babe one day they're gonna beat the shit outta you and you're screwed." - Stiles pulling Philip down by his shirt to give him kisses (BECAUSE PHILIP IS 6' AND STILES IS FUCKING 5'10") - Philip taking Stiles phone and holding it above his head and asking for a kiss but Stiles just tickles him instead - lots of cuddles - Stiles always going out with Scott to investigate stuff and Philip says "if you get hurt I'm gonna kill you." And Stiles just replies with "is that a threat or a promise?" And Philip just rolls his eyes and kisses him - Stiles never comes out, Sheriff Stilinski just walks in on him and Philip making out and he nods and walks out. - Stiles opening up go Philip about his mom - Philip always taking care of Stiles (I keep thinking about that time where Stiles was in the hospital before Nogitsune shit went down and he was all sad and Scott was comforting him.) - When Stiles meets Helen and Gabe he spills his drink all over himself and trips and falls into a wall. (They love him instantly.) - they argue over who's the "puppy" in the relationship (THEY BOTH LOOK LIKE CUTE LIL PUPPERS IM CRYING.) - Philip wearing Stiles lacrosse jersey - PHILIP AND COACH ROASTING STILES OH MY GOD - Stiles would hug Philip and give him neck kisses - Stiles would be the needy boyfriend but Philip doesn't mind at all - Stiles is the big spoon - Stiles says I love you first and he's literally doing it right before he has to go play so Philip just stands there in shock while he plays - PHILIP GOING TO LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE GAME - Lydia saying if Stiles hurts Philip she'll fight him - Scott saying if Philip hurts Stiles he'll fight him - Philip would've been so jealous and petty over Stiles and Derek - Stiles wanting to fight Danny 24/7 bc Danny is always checking Philip out - Philip can tell when Stiles gets jealous bc he literally becomes so petty and salty - JEEP MAKEOUTS - Philip watching Stiles work on his jeep - dream world where Alison and Scott went on double dates with Stiles and Philip - everyone ships it like no one has a problem with it at all - Philip still makes Playlists and Stiles listens to it daily - they take naps together - they help each other with homework - STILES TEACHING PHILIP HOW TO PLAY MOTHER FUCKING LACROSSE - STILES TEACHING PHILIP TO DRIVE - Helen being like "Stiles must be an amazing kid, his dad is a sheriff." And just grinning - Tony would totally stan Noah - Stiles and Philip play with each others hands - Stiles always has to be touching Philip whether it's pressing their legs together or holding hands or cuddling. (Philip calms his anxiety so much.) - Stiles being terrified that Void!Stiles scared Philip away. Philip just kisses him and tells him it didn't and that he's glad to have his Stiles back. - Stiles randomly slow dancing with Philip in random places - Them talking about getting married and having kids and going to school together - they rarely fight and never ever get physical - PHILIP STEALING STILES CLOTHES AND STILES DOING THE SAME (they both notice but never say anything.) - Philip telling Stiles "I'll ride you if you win." And Stiles like stumbles onto the lacrosse field and gives Philip a thumbs up - THE FIRST TIME STILES GETS A SNAPCHAT OF PHILIP SHIRTLESS HE CHOKES ON AIR AND HYPERVENTILATES - Stiles is always bragging about his boyfriend Philip - "When's the wedding?" Gabe joked one day. Philip just smiles. "I'm thinking our second year of college maybe, depends if I can get money to propose." Stiles replied, shrugging. Philip chokes for like five minutes. - STILES ASKING PHILIP TO PROM IN A HUGE NERDY WAY - Philip reading to Stiles and Stiles just tracing patterns onto Philips skin, telling him how calming his voice is. - a dream world where they take each others virginity - a dream would where Philip is Stiles first kiss - Coach always messing with Stiles telling him "you don't wanna embarrass your boyfriend by sucking." - Noah walking in on Stiles and Philip making out in a supply closet at the police station - Stiles buying Philip a puppy - they go to carnivals together and win each other stupid gifts - they try to work out but the work out ends within 5 minutes and they end up on the couch watching TV - they text each other all the time despite Stiles taking Philip to school, them spending the school day together, and them hanging out after. - Stiles always telling Philip to keep his eyes on him during his games bc he doesn't want Philip checking out any other player, just him. - They leave their volume up at night in case one needs the other and they call each other - Philip always wanting to go with Stiles when Stiles goes with Scott to deal with all their "wolf business" and Stiles is like "No you can't go." And Philip just rolls his eyes and says "watch me." - They hate parties and they choose cuddling and Netflix over going on dates - Philip calling Stiles his smart baby because Stiles is a fucking genius he just chooses to never use it. - they cook together. (Which means they bake pizza rolls for each other and bring each other candy.)
10433538	I Cant Lose You Jyn	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "F/F", "Characters": "Cassian Andor, Jyn Erso", "Fandom": null, "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by Fanfiction_Fanatic", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-25T00:00:00", "words": "1,053", "Additional Tags": null, "Relationship": "Cassian Andor/Jyn Erso", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "RebelCaptain - Fandom, Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Jyn and Cassian - Fandom", "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	“They need our help on Endor!” Jyn argued with Cassian. “We can’t just sit here and do nothing!”It seemed so trivial that Jyn was even standing there arguing with him. She should’ve died on the sandy beach of Scarif, but miraculously Bodhi had saved her and Cassian, along with Chirrut and Baze. Despite the celebration of being alive, their hearts couldn't help but ache for the fallen; especially K2. Even when she was saved, she should’ve died from her ongoing injuries, same with Cassian. But somehow, by some miracle, they lived. Cassian had suffered from excruciating injuries, including a broken arm, heavy damage to his vertebrae and a blaster shot to the waist. Luckily, he was healed and walking by only a few months. However, the battle on Scarif had scarred him more than any other battle he’d fought for the Rebellion. He had a minor limp from his near paralysis, but it wasn’t what truly bothered him. Over the months to come, his paranoia had risen greatly, and it was almost like he never wanted to fight again. He worried about Jyn constantly, and often objected to her partaking in certain missions, unless he could come along. But he fought hard against Jyn going to Endor, despite her invitation for him to tag along.“The Rebellion needs us, Cassian! I’ve been here long enough doing nothing but mechanical work on the X-Wings. I never believed Chirrut when he rambled on about how the Force saved us on Scarif because it ‘wasn’t our time.’ But I’m starting to believe him. Scarif wasn’t our last fight.” Jyn urged. “But Endor could be.” Cassian hissed, hustling about their flat in the Rebellion compound. Cassian busied himself with anything to distract him from looking into Jyn’s hopeful eyes. “Endor is a dangerous planet.” “You’ve been fighting for this Rebellion since you were six and now you want to back out? We’ve been asked by Princess Leia herself to help her in her destroying the second Death Star!” Jyn barked. “At least I know when to quit.” Cassian mumbled under his breath, rubbing his neck in anxiety. “Cassian, this is our chance, our chance to--” “It is over, Jyn!” Cassian howled, cutting of Jyn’s debate. He looked into her large eyes. Jyn stared back at him in anger and shock, her lips pressed into a frustrated line. There was an uncomfortable silence between them, and Cassian realized his mistake. With a growled sigh, Cassian took a step towards Jyn, her tension beaming off her. She had darted her eyes to the ground, and folded her arms tightly across her chest. “I can’t,” Cassian started, trying to gather his feelings and form them into a sentence. “I can’t lose you, Jyn.” He finally said in a voice so low, it was almost a whisper. Jyn remained silent, and tried her best to fight the blush that was growing in her cheeks. It wasn’t until Cassian reached behind her neck that she rose her eyes to meet his gaze. She loved it when he gently tugged and stroked the hair on the back of her neck. “I know.” Jyn eventually said, trailing her fingers up Cassian’s forearm. She stood onto her tip toes to kiss him. He met her halfway, gently colliding his lips with hers. Jyn never admitted it, but she absolutely adored kissing Cassian. She was always shy about it up until it seemed everybody in the Rebellion knew about her and Cassian. The smell of antique spice that radiated off him made Jyn feel like she was home. His lips were always as soft as a pillow, and his beard was always rough against her skin, but she liked it. She could melt into Cassian forever, but their kisses always seemed to end too soon.Cassian was more vocal about his love for Jyn, despite his personality. In the Rebel Alliance, Cassian was known as an emotionless spy, and the rebels were thrown for a loop when he seemed to completely change once he met Jyn. He could never get bored with looking at Jyn. Her face was flawless, and if her face held any flaw, it was a perfect expression in his eyes. Her lips were a constant gentle pink, and were soft yet rough from years of being stretched into a frown, or pressed into a flat line of anger. Jyn always smelled like a distant pine forest, and it’s fragrance always made Cassian’s heart skip a beat. Cassian couldn’t help but smile whenever he kissed Jyn, because she would always accidentally moan quietly in desperation for more of him. Alas, Cassian pulled away first, leaving Jyn slightly starstruck. Cassian sighed in agony, pressing his forehead against Jyn’s. Jyn smiled, closing her eyes. She knew that sigh. It usually meant he was going to comply. “Fine. I’ll go. But we aren’t staying too long. Once it’s set in stone that that Death Star will be destroyed, we are getting out of there.” Cassian mumbled, moving his lips to be pressed against Jyn’s forehead. He tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. “I don’t want to be saying my last words on a foreign beach again.” Jyn excitedly wrapped her arms around Cassian’s neck, pulling him into a thankful kiss. She didn’t let Cassian pull away, and instead pulled him into her, until she fell onto the bed behind her. Jyn deepened the kiss, desire for him growing at an alarming speed inside her. Cassian caressed Jyn’s body, his hands traveling down her ribs to her waist and then to her hips. His touch was like lightning, sending a shocking buzz throughout her body. Jyn heard their dorm door slide open, allowing her to have half a second to push Cassian away from her. She was on her feet, wiping her mouth by the time the sneaky Chirrut had entered their small dorm without warning.Chirrut wore a smile, as he tapped his staff against the ground. He didn't apologize for busting in at all. “I’m guessing he said yes.” “Uh, yes. He did.” Jyn awkwardly responded, blush rushing to her cheeks, despite the fact that Chirrut was blind.“Sorry for interrupting.” Chirrut winked, giggling like a child. He left the dorm, allowing Jyn and Cassian to break down laughing in embarrassment.
10419558	Confessions	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "Multi", "Characters": "Butters Stotch, Kenny McCormick, Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman, Stan Marsh, Father Maxi (South Park)", "Fandom": "South Park", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by lordjenjen", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-23T00:00:00", "words": "1,744", "Additional Tags": "Mostly Dialogue, I was bored and thinking of weird confessions, Poor Father Maxi, I'm Sorry, Relationships are all just mentioned", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Stan Marsh/Wendy Testaburger, Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh, Kenny McCormick/Butters Stotch", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Confessions Father Maxi greeted the day with as much joy as he couldn't muster. He knew he was blessed with his life and he was happy with the path God had given him. It was just someday he wished he lived somewhere a little less exciting.He greeted the nuns as he made his way to the confession booth. It was a Saturday so naturally the Stotch boy was waiting for him. He was glad the family were devoted Catholics but they really needed to ease up on the boy. Quite a bit of his confessions weren't even sins.Father Maxi took his seat and waited. Sure enough, the blonde boy took to the confessional booth. “F-forgive me Father for I have sinned. It's been 17 hours since my last confession.”“Child, you don't need to confess every little thing. We have been over this.”“If I die tomorrow, I want to go to heaven! Besides this time I did do something bad. Really bad. Like against the Bible bad.”Father Maxi sighed. He doubted Butters himself did anything bad. It was usually his friends that got him in trouble. “Go ahead.”“Well I disrespect my parents last night.”“Did you apologize?”“No. And I won't. They started it. They are always saying things and making me feel bad and grounding me for no reason. Last night it was because they accused me of having sex with one of my friends. Like yeah I like him but I don't think he likes me. And we sure aren't doing anything. They shouldn't be assuming things. It's not fair. They should apologize to me!”“Alright, calm down son.”“Sorry father. Also I ate a cookie before dinner.”“Five Hail Mary's.”*The door opened and closed. Father Maxi locked his phone before sliding the panel back.“I don't really know how this works. I'm not Catholic. My friend just said this might be good for me.”“Well my son, you start by saying “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. My last confession was, and then you give the amount of time, in your case never. And then you tell me what you did. I'll tell you how to redeem yourself.”“Jesus Christ you Catholics are weird.”“Taking God's name in vane is a sin.”“Okay… uh… Forgive me father for I have sinned. I've never confessed. So I guess I have to tell you all my sins? Catholic or Jewish sins?”So it was one of the Brofloski boys. “Catholic.”“Then this could take a while. Well for starters I guess I just cussed for you guys. Sorry about that. I cuss a lot actually. Biggest sin I guess is I don't believe in your god. Or Jesus. Which I realize is stupid because I've met him. I guess I don't believe he was gods only son? Maybe I should just skip to what's bothering me. I want to break up my best friend and his girlfriend because she’s been taking up all of his free time and he keeps cancelling on me. Like dude, we made plans to see the new Terrance and Phillip movie when they announced it a year ago. We had the tickets. Just tell her to fuck off for one evening. Instead she made him cancel and I was too upset to go see it alone. No way in hell was I asking Cartman to see it. I think he was converting all the townspeople again after the release of Passion of the Christ 2. And Kenny… where was Kenny? I should just make him my new best friend but he seems to disappear a lot.”“Have you tried talking to your friend about him ignoring you?”“Yeah, he told me I was just jealous. I realized I just cussed again so that’s another sin. This is hard.”“Well, you might consider talking to both him and his girlfriend. Maybe my making her realize she’s taking all of his free time, he will too realize it.”“I guess I could do that. What do I owe you.”“Pray fourty Hail Marys.” “What the hell is a Hail Mary? And why? You catholics are so weird. How about six dollars. That’s 15 cents a hail mary.”The boy shoved rolled up money into one of the holes in the panel between them before leaving the booth. Father Maxi rolled his eyes and pulled the money out. He was still staring at the money when someone else entered.“Forgivemefa…” Came a familiar muffled voice.“Remove the hood child before you begin confession.”“My apologies. Forgive me father for I have sinned. It’s been a week since my last confession. I was a little too dead to come. I kissed another boy but he doesn’t remember and got grounded over it. Is it still a sin if he doesn’t remember?”“Yes.”“Well fuck. I’m not apologizing for it. It was nice and I totally plan on doing it again. I guess I’m just going to warn you a particular blonde is going to be seeing you a lot more frequently. You may want to keep in mind the words of Pope Francis. Now if you don’t mind, I have a particularly attractive boy to greet”With that the door opened and closed. Father Maxi’s heart went out to the McCormick child. He felt as if the boy did not care for his life nor his afterlife. He had confessed to the priest on many occasions that he had died and everyone except the Mormons were going to hell. He felt the boy was just lost and he hoped the Stotch kid would get him back on the right path to God. Though he thought perhaps it was going to go the other way. Butters Stotch could be manipulated though he had been showing more of a back bone if his confessions were anything to go by.The door opened and slammed shut.“F-forgive m-me father for I have sinned. It’s been an hour since my last confession.”Father Maxi buried his head in his hands. Speak it’s name and it arrives.“I just kissed a boy and I liked it. My parents are going to ground me.”“My child, the church will not condone you for your actions. As long as you have Jesus Christ as your lord and savior, you will always be welcome.”“Thank you father.”He let out a sigh of relief as the door opened and closed. A knock on the panel awoke Father Maxi. He was having such a good nap. His chair/bed in the booth was the best idea he had in quite some time. The priest sat up and slid back the panel. “Forgive me Father. I have sinned. I haven’t been to confession in a month. Mostly because I think this is all stupid and pointless since we are all going to hell.”Father Maxi yawned and stretched. “What brings you here, my child.”The boy snorted. “Not any of my sins. I just need someone to talk to that won’t go blabbing their mouth. I think I’m in love with my best friend. I love my girlfriend too, but she’s been super clingy and it’s so not like her. Then last night she decides to break up with me. No reason why, which is also normal, but we usually end up getting back together. So my question is, should I wait for us to get back together or should I tell my friend how I feel about them?”“Well, I’m not really one to be asking about relationship advice.” “Yet here I am,l asking. I mean what if I tell them and they don’t like me and that ruins our friendship?”“Aren’t all relationships risk?”Silence hung in the air before the boy spoke. “Yeah good point. I’m going to ask him out.”“Him?” Father Maxi asked as the door opened and closed. Was the whole town turning towards the sin of two people of the same sex having a relationship? Sure the Pope said not to judge but it just seemed this all started with the Tucker and Tweak boys. Or did this start because of PC Principal.Father Maxi didn’t have much time to think on it as the door opened and closed again.“Forgive me Father for I have sinned,” came the all too familiar voice.“AGAIN!? Give me strength…”“Well maybe if the Catholic church didn’t make everything illegal and strike fear into the hearts of it’s followers, I wouldn’t feel so bad! I had gay thoughts and and wearing mixed fibers! Plus I ate a cheeseburger!”“I told you Jesus died for our sins and preached about how the old laws were no longer a thing. Wearing mixed fibers and eating the milk of an animal with the meat of the same animal is not a sin. Nor any of the other things.”“Okay then…”The booth was silent. Father Maxi thought perhaps he didn’t hear the door open.“Forgive me father, It’s been 38 seconds since my last confession. Is it wrong to think that perhaps Judas was just really jealous because he was in love with Jesus and he just wanted the Lord all to himself, instead of having to share him with 11 other men?”Father Maxi was speechless. He honestly didn’t know what to tell the boy. “Fifteen Hail Mary’s. And don’t comeback until tomorrow.”**“Forgive me father for I have sinned it’s been a month since my last confession. I-I’m so sorry. I won’t do it again.”Father Maxi didn’t bother looking up from his phone. He wasn’t risking losing this round of Holy Crusade. He had been on this level for two days.“I started a group for Passion of the Christ 2 movie lovers. They for some reason have decided that eradicating everyone who is not them is the best idea! I just wanted them to eradicate all the Jews and PC frat bros! How do I stop this?”“Uh-huh…That’s nice.”“Goddamnit! Are you jerking off over there. Fuck this! I’ll … oh god… I have to ask Kyle for help!”The door slammed and Father Maxi briefly wondered what that was about before going back to his game. Calmly, and without pausing his game, he made his way to his office. Tomorrow was Sunday which usually meant the adults would confess their sins. He really needed to relax before then.
10432347	Fumbling out of the dark	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "Gen", "Characters": "Nishimura Satoru, Kitamoto Atsushi, Tanuma Kaname, Natsume Takashi, Madara \"Nyanko-sensei\"", "Fandom": "Natsume Yuujinchou \| Natsume's Book of Friends", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by taizi", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-25T00:00:00", "words": "2,164", "Additional Tags": "natsume protection squad, one of those 'natsume's friends find out about his secret ability' stories, nishimura is too good for this world", "Relationship": "Natsume Takashi & Nishimura Satoru", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": "Leymonaide fic recs, Sushi fics", "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	“Nishimura, come on,” Kitamoto says. “Don’t freak out.”“I’m not freaking out – who’s freaking out?” Satoru replies, very clearly freaking out. They’re camping, an overnight fishing trip at a really nice spot by the river that Natsume knew about, and everything was fine until Kitamoto slipped on a wet stone and hit the water with a mighty splash. They fished him out and had a good laugh about the scare, until he tried to put weight on his hands and push himself upright, and one very injured wrist came to light. Satoru can deal with a lot of things, he thinks, but a hurt friend is not a thing that makes that list. There’s already a traitorous heat prickling at the corners of his eyes, and Kitamoto shoots him a long-suffering look. “Stop it. It’s just a flesh wound.”“That’s not even – that’s the opposite of a flesh wound?““He’s right,” Tanuma announces, sitting back from his careful examination. He lowers Kitamoto’s arm carefully and pushes damp hair out of his face. It’s probably no good that he let himself get soaked – it’s already getting dark, and Tanuma gets sick as easily as Natsume does. “This doesn’t look like a flesh wound at all, dude. I’m pretty sure it’s a fracture.”“Oh my god,” Satoru whispers. “You have a broken wrist.”“Thanks, Tanuma,” Kitamoto says dryly.“We’re all packed up,” Natsume interjects at that point. Satoru’s not sure when he found time to break down their camp, and risks a glance at his quiet classmate. Natsume’s face is pale. He looks as not-freaked-out as Satoru feels. “We should probably start heading home, right?”“It won’t be safe to go back down the mountain in the dark,” Kitamoto says, frowning. His voice is hoarse with hurt, and it’s as good as driving spikes into Satoru’s chest. “It’s a two-hour hike. We should just wait until morning.”“No way, you need to see a doctor.” Satoru shakes his head, and keeps shaking it, absolutely not about to give on this point. For all his calm levelheadedness, there’s wincing pain in Kitamoto’s face, and he’s careful to keep his arm still because even Tanuma’s meticulous touch hurt a lot, and Satoru is not going to spend a whole night in the forest while Kitamoto is suffering right beside him. He’s just not. “If I have to carry you, I will. I swear. It’s not happening, we’re not staying here. We have flashlights, we’ll be fine.”“You’re being ridiculous,” Kitamoto tells him sternly. But lifelong fondness softens the words before they have a chance to land too harshly, and at that point Satoru knows he’s won. Sure enough, a moment later, riding the back of a gusty sigh, “Fine. Let’s stop wasting our light and get a move on, then.”Natsume is shifting his weight from foot to foot anxiously, and out of his peripheral vision Satoru watches him trade a weighted look with Tanuma. “Um,” he says, at length. And maybe it’s the fading light, but his eyes look darker and rounder than usual. They dart down to the calico in his arms, and then up again at Kitamoto. “I might have a faster way home than walking. If you want.”The clearing is quiet for a moment that seems to stretch endlessly, filled with the white noise of the rushing river behind them, and the chatter of nighttime bugs. And then Kitamoto breaks the impasse with a crooked smile. “What would you have us do instead?” he says, amiable and patient despite the lines of pain in his face. “Fly?” Disappearing cats and disembodied voices are both things that Satoru was not prepared to deal with during their overnight camping trip; right alongside his best friend breaking his wrist, and the four of them gearing up for an admittedly treacherous hike back down the mountain in the dark.But Natsume’s face is white with real fear, and his eyes are as dark as they were the day Satoru met him, even if his expression doesn’t really change much. His arms are curled around his middle the way they’d usually be curled around his cat, like a guard – as if those frail hands could shield him from anything that really wanted to hurt him – and, remarkably, Satoru can put aside everything else that’s going on to frown at his friend.Sure, there was a violent curl of wind and a screen of white smoke, and Nyan-nyan-sensei vanished into thin air. Kitamoto stumbled back a few steps in alarm, but Tanuma was there to keep him steady, which leaves Satoru free to jab a finger at Natsume and snap, “You look like you’re gonna pass out! Take a breath!”Some of that awful, bleak dread in Natsume’s face recedes to make room for bewilderment instead. Satoru has that affect on people.And sure he’s scared, somewhere, in the back of his mind. His hands are shaking a little, so he shoves them in his pockets as he takes a few fake-fearless steps forward, and makes sure to scowl at Natsume the same way he always does; when Natsume won’t share the answers he got for their homework, or some of the tasty-looking food Touko packs in his lunch. Like it’s everyday and normal, and Satoru’s not going to do – whatever it is Natsume is so afraid Satoru might do.Satoru doesn’t like being on the other side of this wall Natsume puts up. He likes to think the two of them are close, these days, and he doesn’t want to get pushed farther away.“I knew your ugly cat was weird,” Satoru leads with. “It can talk, can’t it? I’ve heard it a couple of times, haven’t I?”“Cheeky brat,” the voice of an old man grumbles from behind Natsume’s shoulder. Satoru jumps, and hears Kitamoto mutter a faint “what the hell,” but Natsume lifts a hand almost by reflex, reaching out as though he’s patting a large animal that isn’t there. And seeing him do that is a little disarming, like watching someone greet a faithful dog at the front door. “If you could see my true form, you would be awed by it.”Really, maybe it isn’t as surprising as it should be. Natsume’s always been a little jumpy and a little odd, but once upon a time he was a quiet, brand new transfer student with reserved mannerisms and glass eyes, and Satoru yelled hurtful things at him in the library over an origami book. Satoru never apologized for that – never explained that it was something dark and hateful weighing on his heart, making him do and say things he didn’t mean – but he had never needed to. Because Natsume seemed to understand without asking, and followed Satoru when that darkness on his heart steered him blindly into the woods, and knew how to save him, and carried him back home on thin shoulders, in thin arms.Maybe Satoru has been willfully blind up until now, putting weird incidents out of his mind as they happened so Natsume’s smile would stop looking so strained. And maybe it was a kindness then, but it feels like a disservice now.“Nyan-nyan-sensei?” he says carefully. “Um – sorry, I’ve never talked to a talking cat before – uh, so, how are you? And – what are you? And – where…” he adds, sweeping their clearing with shrewd eyes, “…are you?”“He’s a yokai,” Tanuma steps in. His voice is so calm and steady that it soaks most of the tension out of the air like a sponge, and his eyes are focused on Natsume, clear and bright and supportive. “Natsume can see them. They give him a lot of trouble at times, so Ponta looks after him. Like a bodyguard.”“That’s why he’s always following you around,” Kitamoto says carefully. The shock didn’t do him any favors – jumping back like that probably jarred his arm, if the way he’s wincing is any indication – but there’s nothing mean in his face when he looks at Natsume. Satoru has no clue why Natsume was afraid there ever could be. “I wondered how he always managed to tag along on our school trips.”Natsume is looking back and forth between the three of them slowly, frozen somewhere between disbelief and confusion. He’s digging his fingers into fur that Satoru can’t see, clinging to his calico cat’s true form the way Kitamoto’s little sister used to cling to their mom’s smock when she was younger. A safety blanket, Satoru thinks, and moves stubbornly closer. Natsume doesn’t need one of those right now, he’s not in any danger among his best friends.“So you already told Tanuma about all this?” Satoru can’t help feeling a little hurt, but he’s mostly just trying to get that look off Natsume’s face when he adds, “That’s not fair, I knew you first!”Tanuma smiles kindly at Satoru, seeing right through his efforts the way he always does when Natsume is involved. “It’s not something he talks about easily, even to me. I can sense yokai, too, but only barely. That’s why I was so interested in meeting Natsume after I heard all those rumors about him. I had never met anyone else who was aware of yokai before.”“Me, too,” Natsume offers at that point. His voice is very soft, but he presses bravely forward anyway. “I’ve always been the only one who can see them. And it’s dangerous, when other people get involved. So, I – I keep it a secret. I’m sorry. It’s not that I don’t trust you, I promise it’s not that. Sorry.”Satoru stares at him. The single step between them feels about a mile wide, and yawning wider.He always knew there had to be a reason someone like Natsume grew up so unwanted, passed from place to place, from family to family. There had to be a reason why people spoke so badly of him, why rumors floated after him at every new school he enrolled in. Rumors that called him creepy, and cursed, and a liar.Back when Natsume was little, Satoru thinks, it probably wasn’t as easy not to flinch when he saw a monster in the window. It probably wasn’t as easy not to cry when something scary followed him home.And Satoru has seen him faint without warning in the hallway at school, and fall off a bridge into the deep of the river as if he was pushed, and run away into the dark of the forest by himself, and shout half of a heated argument into thin air. He comes to class with dark circles under tired eyes and a wan smile that doesn’t touch the rest of his face, only leases impersonal space with his mouth. It’s dangerous enough that he needs a bodyguard, Satoru realizes. It’s scary enough that Tanuma always looks pale when Natsume is late for school.“Yeah,” Kitamoto says quietly. “I think I understand.” He’s watching Natsume carefully, but when Natsume glances at him, Kitamoto softens with a grin. “So can we pet him? You know Nishimura’s dying to.”A gust of warm, musky air hits the side of Satoru’s face and ruffles Natsume’s hair – a huff of breath, followed by a disgruntled, “Do you mistake me for a household pet?”“Sensei,” Natsume scolds him, at the same time Tanuma says, “Mistake? Ponta, he carries you around every day like a doll.”They do get to pet him. For all his mighty bluster, and the animated way he and Natsume bicker with each other, he subsides after a few minutes with a throaty grumble. Natsume guides Satoru’s hand to the thick of soft, downy fur, and it’s a little trippy – after all, he can’t see anything there – but more than that, it’s really cool.“What does he look like?” Satoru asks, trying to find Nyan-nyan-sensei’s favorite spot to be scratched behind the ear. The invisible body beneath his hand shifts, startling him for a moment, until he realizes the cat-yokai is leaning into the touch. Like a dog, he thinks again, gleefully, and finally finds a big, soft ear to scratch behind. “What color is he? Is he really, really big? Can he really fly? Are we really going to fly?”When he glances up, Kitamoto and Tanuma are both smiling at him – so warm and fond that it’s a little embarrassing, so Satoru quickly looks over at Natsume instead. At Natsume, whose amber eyes are light again, and trembling wetly with something that looks like downright staggering gratitude, and jeez, he’s no better than the other two. If he thanks me I’ll hit him, Satoru decides mulishly, even as his face burns under the combined attention. Natsume doesn’t, though. He wipes a sleeve over his face, even though he hasn’t cried, and turns to offer Kitamoto his hand.Looking a little taller, and a little older, and a little softer in the bright moonlight as he says, “Yeah. Let me show you.”
10475118	The strongest person I	{ "Archive Warning": "Graphic Depictions Of Violence", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Kuroo Tetsurou, Akaashi Keiji", "Fandom": "Haikyuu!!", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by shiro_yuu", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-28T00:00:00", "words": "5,091", "Additional Tags": "KurooAka Week 2k17, Angst, Happy Ending, Cutting, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, mention - UshiOi, mention - SemiShira, Hurt/Comfort", "Relationship": "Akaashi Keiji/Kuroo Tetsurou", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "KurooAka Week 2017", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	The first time Akaashi sees Kuroo falling apart he’s on his second year of high school and they’re at the training camp.Akaashi is wandering around the school alone after the morning practice had ended, his team resting on the hills behind the gym after lunch. He likes training camps, because being with his friends for a whole week doing what they love the most is really fun. He knows it doesn’t seem like he enjoys being with people because of his always serious behavior, but the truth is that Akaashi always have a lot of fun. He enters the school building, wanting to go to the cafeteria to grab some tea he remembered seeing Karasuno’s manager making. But as he passes by the bathrooms he hears something that sounds much like a cry. Worried that maybe someone could had get hurt, Akaashi walks to the bathroom, opening the door.But before he could says something his eyes fall over a person on the farthest corner of the bathroom, sitting on the ground and curled into a ball. The red uniform and messy black hair tell Akaashi who the person is. Akaashi is about to call Kuroo’s name when he hears a muffled hiccup and this makes him close his mouth shut. Kuroo is trembling, hands over his ears and curled into a ball as if to occupy as little space as possible. Kuroo’s breathing is heavy as if he’s carrying weighs on his chest and he’s holding onto his own hair so tightly that his knuckles are white.“Kuroo-san?”, Akaashi calls, stepping into the bathroom, but Kuroo curls himself more against the wall. “I-I’ll call Kenma.”, he says before running out of the bathroom. Akaashi isn’t sure if Kuroo had even listened.Akaashi runs across the school towards the gyms because he remembers had seeing Kenma on the hill with his teammates. Akaashi can see the hill and a lot of students there, but Kenma is nowhere to be seeing. “Kenma-san, please!”, Lev says from inside the gym and Akaashi pivots his body mid running and enter the gym.“Kenma!”, he yells, startling the few students inside the gym. “Kuroo-san! He…!”“Where?”, Kenma asks quickly without Akaashi finishing, running towards Akaashi.“Kenma-san?”, Lev calls, but Kenma doesn’t stop to look at him.Akaashi runs back to the school building, hearing Kenma running behind him and a small part of his mind is impressive that Kenma can keep up with Akaashi’s rhythm, but Kenma is an athlete in the end. Akaashi leads Kenma to the bathroom, stopping by the door to look at the other setter without knowing what to do.Kenma opens the door and Akaashi sees Kuroo pretty much in the same way he was before. Kenma steps inside, indicating to Akaashi to close the door once they’re inside. “Tetsu?”, he calls, slowly approaching Kuroo.Kenma kneels on the cold tile ground in front of Kuroo, touching lightly the back of Kuroo’s hands with his fingertips. Kuroo startles, trying to jump away from the touch but there’s a wall behind him.“It’s ok…”, Kenma says softly. “I’m here…”, he says, sitting down by Kuroo’s side, his legs stretched in front of him.Akaashi watches as Kenma starts to move his feet from left to right, really slowly approaching Kuroo’s leg with his own, touching it softly in standardized movements. When Kuroo seems to relax a bit more, Kenma presses his leg against Kuroo’s, keeping the small pressure until Kuroo stops crying. Kenma leans against Kuroo’s side, resting his head on Kuroo’s trembling shoulder, all his moves slow and gradual.“Tetsu?”, Kenma calls again and this time Kuroo doesn’t startle, but he also doesn’t answer. “Did I tell you that Rockstar announced Red Dead Redemption 2? After a thousand years they finally decided to release a new one…”Kenma starts to tell Kuroo about his expectations and fears in regards of the game, closing his eyes a keeping his voice calm. Kuroo slowly starts to relax his body, stretching his legs in front of him and placing his hands on the cold floor. Kuroo’s eyes are still blurred, staring blankly at a specific point of the floor. Akaashi doesn’t know what to do, so he just leans against the door, using his weight to keep it closed.“Are you feeling better?”, Kenma asks softly after a while and Kuroo takes a deep breath before nodding, cleaning up his face with the back of his hands. “Good… Can you get up?”, he asks and Kuroo shakes his head. “Ok. We have time.”A couple more minutes pass by them until Kuroo sighs and touches Kenma’s leg. Kenma gets up, helping Kuroo to do the same. Kuroo goes to the sink, washing his face with cold water while Kenma massages his back slowly.“How’re you feeling?”, Kenma asks and Kuroo sighs.“Better…”, Kuroo answers before looking at Akaashi through the mirror. “I’m sorry for you having to see this, Akaashi…”, he says, his voice just a little bit louder than a whisper.“No, I… I’m sorry for not being able to help…”, Akaashi says, raising his shoulders to his ears.“You called me. It was the best you could do.”, Kenma says and Kuroo nods before drying his face with the paper towels. “You ready to go?”“Yeah.”, Kuroo nods, patting his uniform to try to get rid of the wrinkles.“You’ll go back to practice?”, Akaashi asks, because he thinks Kuroo should go sleep or something.“I’m fine… It’s just… Well, everything is too loud sometimes.”, Kuroo says, flashing him a weak smile.“Let’s go. We have practice, captain.”, Kenma calls, walking towards the door.“Yeah, yeah.”, Kuroo sigh, massaging his eyes with the base of his palms. “I need to grab Lev to practice receives before he sneaks out today, don’t let me forget.”, he asks, walking to out of the bathroom.Akaashi follows, watching in silent awe as Kuroo pass from a mess to his usual self. They walk together to the gym and by the time they step inside the gym Kuroo is as good as new, the first thing he does being shouting to Lev and Inuoka to stop fighting and go practice. Kuroo squeezes Akaashi’s hand softly, walking towards his team. Kenma pats Akaashi’s back, nodding calmly at him before following Kuroo. Akaashi stays there, watching Kuroo act like nothing had happened, provoking Yaku and dodging from his kick. Konoha calls Akaashi and only then he tears his eyes from Kuroo’s figure, jogging to his team.-The second time it happens Akaashi is in the first year of college, cursing physics at Kyodai.He and Kuroo had become close since he entered the college, because Kuroo is actually his senpai in the course. Akaashi finds out it’s easy to walk around the campus with Kuroo, because the Kuroo seems to know everyone in the university. The fact that they live in the same dorm building helps them to grow closer to each other too.So when Kuroo invites Akaashi to a party it’s easy to him to say yes, even though he doesn’t like parties that much. But going to parties with Kuroo is good because if he goes with you to a party, he makes sure to be always around so you don’t feel alone. The party is being held at one of the dorms, all the students from the exacts science building there with cans of beers and glasses of vodka, dancing to the sound of the new pop songs.Kuroo calls Akaashi, bringing him to a less noisy corner to speak near his ear. “I need to go home.”“Why?”, Akaashi asks back, leaning back to look at Kuroo.“I just need to.”, Kuroo says and Akaashi notices how heavy his breath is.“Kuroo.”, Akaashi calls, but Kuroo is already walking to outside the house.Akaashi feels like cold water is running down his spine as he digests the sensation of déjà vu. Feeling suddenly sober, Akaashi darts out of the house after Kuroo. He jogs to outside the garden, making the turn to the street that leads to their building, but stops right on his tracks when he sees in the far end of the street Kuroo leaning against a lamp post. Akaashi runs towards him, the adrenaline cleaning up the last traces of the four beers he had drink before.“Kuroo!”, Akaashi calls, jogging the last two meters and stopping in front of Kuroo. “Is everything ok?”, he asks, feeling the panic rising on his gut.Kuroo is with his eyes closed, breathing hard and with some difficulty. Akaashi can see Kuroo trembling, holding himself on the lamppost behind him. Akaashi widens his eyes, because Kenma isn’t here, there’s no one in Kyoto that Akaashi can call to help him. Should he call Kenma? Should he call for help?“I-I… I’ll call someone.”, Akaashi says, turning to run back to the house, but Kuroo grabs his wrist quickly. “What?!”“It’s… Ok.”, Kuroo whispers, his voice trembling and not louder than a whisper.“But… But… Ok.”, Akaashi nods, holding Kuroo’s forearm and he can feel Kuroo’s sweaty skin under his fingers. “What can I do? How can I help?”, he asks, despair clear on his voice.“Just…”, Kuroo takes a deep breath, letting the air escape his lungs slowly, “…calm down.”“Ok. Ok…”, Akaashi nods, trying to calm down a little, but it’s difficult with Kuroo heavy breathing and trembling in front of him.Akaashi nervously looks around, every single noise startling him. He wants to protect Kuroo, because he knows Kuroo is having a hard time now. But how can he protect Kuroo if he doesn’t even know how to help? Akaashi knows close to nothing about anxiety and everything that comes with it.“Akaashi…”, Kuroo calls, his voice still breathless.“Yes?!”, Akaashi asks, startling and straightening his body.“I can hear you screaming to yourself inside your head.”, Kuroo says, caressing Akaashi’s forearm with his thumb. “I’m ok… I just need to breathe.”“Alright.”, Akaashi nods. “Alright…”Akaashi looks at Kuroo, at the way his shoulders go up and down slowly as he takes deep breaths. Akaashi starts to follow Kuroo’s breathing pattern without noticing, inhaling and exhaling as Kuroo does, feeling his head lighting up a little because of the long breaths. Kuroo chuckles softly.“Feeling calmer now?”, Kuroo asks, opening his eyes to look at Akaashi.“Yeah…”, Akaashi nods, but he soon turns red. “Oh! I’m sorry… I…I… Sorry.”“It’s ok. You did well for a first time dealing with it alone…”, Kuroo says, his voice calm, but Akaashi can still feel Kuroo trembling softly. “Oikawa yelled so much that only got me more anxious.”“Shit, I should’ve called Oikawa.”, Akaashi sighs. Oikawa is Kuroo’s roommate and Akaashi should’ve thought that Oikawa would know how to deal with Kuroo’s anxiety after almost two years living together.“No, it’s ok.”, Kuroo smiles softly, letting Akaashi’s arm go. “I’m sorry for worrying you.”“You’re really fine?”, Akaashi asks worried.“Yeah. It wasn’t a bad one.”, Kuroo says, passing his hands through his hair and stretching. “I learned how to control the smaller ones.”“I’m sorry for being useless.”, Akaashi whispers, watching Kuroo straightening his clothes. “You’re going home?”“You were with me and this is important. Sometimes it’s scary to pass through this alone.”, Kuroo says before nodding. “Yeah… I want to lay down on my bed and watch series until morning.”“I have popcorn in my dorm and I’m dying to see the new A Series of Unfortunate Events…”, Akaashi says softly and Kuroo smiles at him.“I think Oikawa has choco chips cookies in his closet…”, Kuroo says as he starts to walk to their dorms, Akaashi walking by his side.-The third time they are in a movie theater with a group of friends on Akaashi’s third year of college.Akaashi and Kuroo’s relationship had grown to something more personal over the years of living side by side. It took them a little while to finally sort the things out between themselves, but during a movie night Akaashi had a suddenly shot of courage and kissed Kuroo. To Akaashi’s delightful surprise Kuroo not only kissed back but didn’t back away until both of them were naked and sweaty on Akaashi’s bed. They started to go out after that, ending up dating after less than six months.Surprisingly their friends started dating around the same time, so couples nights like the one they are having tonight aren’t rare. After Oikawa had talked about the new Alien movie through the whole dinner, they all decide that the best thing to do is going to watch or Oikawa will just get insufferable. So they buy the tickets and enter the movie theater, sitting at the third roll from top to bottom. Oikawa and Ushijima sit at the middle, followed by Akaashi and Kuroo and then Shirabu and Semi. Everything is fine for the first time of the movie, the only disturbance being Oikawa’s excited squeaks now and then, but aside from that the full room is pretty quiet. When things start to get crazy on the second half of the movie, Akaashi feels Kuroo fidgeting on his seat.“Are you feeling ok?”, Akaashi asks in a whisper, leaning towards Kuroo.“Yeah…”, Kuroo whispers back, nodding.Akaashi goes back to his previous position, but more alert about Kuroo. He sees by the corner of his eyes Kuroo’s fingers moving, a particularly bright scene allowing Akaashi to see that Kuroo is forcefully scratching the palm of his own hand. Akaashi holds Kuroo’s hand, intertwining their fingers and Kuroo squeezes it softly.Kuroo calms down a little, watching the movie quiet by Akaashi’s side. Twenty minutes later he slides his hand out of Akaashi’s, leaning to him and whispering, “I’m going to the bathroom”, before getting up and walk out of their roll and down the stairs. Akaashi follows him with his eyes, a heavy sensation on his chest.“Is he ok?”, Ushijima asks in a whisper, startling Akaashi a bit.“Yeah. He went to the bathroom.”, Akaashi whispers back, forcing himself to look at the screen again.Kuroo is gone for a good fifteen minutes and Akaashi is about to get up of his chair and go after his boyfriend when he sees Kuroo walking into the theater and then up the stairs. Kuroo sit down by Akaashi’s side again, holding Akaashi’s hands with his still humid ones. “Everything ok?”, Akaashi asks and Kuroo nods.“Yeah. Everything good.”, Kuroo answers, sliding a bit on his seat to lay his head on Akaashi’s shoulder.Akaashi kisses Kuroo’s hair, leaning against him to watch the rest of the movie. Kuroo stays like that until the end of movie, playing calmly with Akaashi’s fingers and Akaashi can tell that he isn’t focused on the movie anymore. “Tetsu-chan, you’re alright?”, Oikawa asks once they’re walking out of the movie theater, frowning a bit. “You’re like super pale.”Akaashi stops to take a good look at Kuroo and in fact Kuroo is extremely pale, the circles under his eyes seeming deeper; he looks sick. Kuroo gives them his signature cheshire cat grin, straightening his shoulders and back.“I’m fine, don’t worry.”, Kuroo says, chuckling at Semi and Oikawa’s suspicious looks. “I got nauseated during the movie because of the sound and the light, so I ended up throwing up a bit at the bathroom, nothing much. Don’t worry, I’m really fine now.”“We should go eat something, your stomach is probably still upset, but you need to put something in it.”, Shirabu says and the others nod.“You are all so cute.”, Kuroo says teasingly and Semi, Shirabu and Oikawa roll their eyes at him.They start to walk to the food court, Akaashi purposely slowing down his steps. “You had an anxiety attack in the bathroom?”, he asks, his voice low.Kuroo looks at him for a few moments before sighing deeply. “Yeah. But I’m ok.”“You should had told me…”, Akaashi says, but not in an accusatory way.“I know, babe, I’m sorry.”, Kuroo sighs again, caressing the back of Akaashi’s hand with his thumb. “It was because of nothing, to be honest. The lights and the sound, it was just a really ridiculous overload of stimulus to my brain… I didn’t want to worry you about nothing.”“It isn’t ‘nothing’, Tetsu…”, Akaashi says, squeezing Kuroo’s hand softly. “I want to help…”“I know, I’m sorry.”, Kuroo whispers, pulling Akaashi closer and kissing his temple.Akaashi brings Kuroo’s hand to his lips, kissing the back of the hand softly. “I just want your well-being. “-The fourth time lasts longer and it scares the most.They are at the supermarket buying groceries for the week. It’s a pretty Sunday afternoon, exactly two months after they decided to move in together; a quick conversation between the three couples was enough to sort things out. Akaashi still has two more years to go on college and Kuroo one, but since Kuroo has intentions of doing a master degree at Kyodai it’ll be ok for him to keep living at the dorms. They are passing through the yogurt and butter aisle in the back of the supermarket when Akaashi notices that something is wrong. Kuroo’s breathing starts to quickening after they passed a particular big and loud group of teenagers and he has to stop. Akaashi forces himself to stay calm, stepping back to give Kuroo some space, but staying close. Kuroo always know how to deal with his crisis when they quick in at a public space.Except that this time he doesn’t. Akaashi notices that this one isn’t one of the light crisis when he sees the first tear rolling down Kuroo’s cheek and Kuroo slowly lowering his body until he’s crouching, his legs against his chest. Kuroo covers his ears with his hands, lifting his shoulders as if trying to hide himself.“Tetsu.”, Akaashi widens his eyes, kneeling by Kuroo’s side and touching his arm carefully. “Tetsu, you ok?”People start to gather around them, some people curious about why a grown man is crying on the floor and other ones worried because Kuroo seems really bad. Akaashi tries to explain that Kuroo is ok and only needs some space, but as the minutes pass by and Kuroo seems to get worse more people start to show up and Akaashi starts to feel anxious. But in a blink Kuroo gets up, darting to outside of the supermarket as quickly as possible. Akaashi stares surprised for a couple minutes before running after him.“Tetsu?”, Akaashi calls, looking around at the parking lot, but Kuroo isn’t there.Cursing Kuroo’s ridiculously long legs, Akaashi starts to jog around the parking lot, calling Kuroo’s name. It takes him almost ten minutes to finally find Kuroo, sitting down behind the supermarket, hugging his legs close to his chest, his hoodie over his head. Akaashi finally starts to breathe again, running towards Kuroo.“Tetsu?”, Akaashi calls softly, walking the last meter until Kuroo and kneeling down by his side. “Babe, talk to me… Do you need something?”, he asks, keeping his tone really soft and calm.“I’m so sorry.”, Kuroo sobs, curling himself more into a ball.“Babe, you have nothing to be sorry about.”, Akaashi says, touching Kuroo’s back and caressing him softly.“I didn’t mean to cry in front of everyone…”, Kuroo whispers, inhaling deeply by his nose. “I don’t even know why… They were just being loud… And everything started to get confused. I tried to stop, but… But… I’m so sorry, I didn’t want to embarrass you.”“Tetsu…”, Akaashi sighs softly, slowly pulling Kuroo closer and hugging him. “I’m not embarrassed. I’m just worried about you, ok? The only thing that matters for me is your welfare.”Kuroo hides his face on Akaashi’s neck, holding him closer by his clothes and sobbing softly. Akaashi’s heart breaks into pieces as he feels Kuroo trembling against him.-The fifth time happens on summer and Akaashi knows right off the bat that something is wrong with Kuroo.Kuroo is on his first year of his majoring in atomic physics and he seems extremely stressed because of it. Akaashi knows that Kuroo haven’t being sleeping lately and that he is having more and more anxiety and panic attacks. He doesn’t know what to do, because even after all those years together Kuroo still keep his problem locked up away from Akaashi’s reach.But when Kuroo starts to step away from Akaashi touches, Akaashi starts to think that something is wrong and when Kuroo keeps using long sleeves even when it’s already midsummer, Akaashi is sure that things aren’t normal. Akaashi doesn’t want to jump to conclusions, but something inside him gets uneasy.“Tetsu?”, Akaashi calls one day when they’re at their small apartment kitchen making lunch.“Yeah?”, Kuroo asks while stirring the meat.“You would tell me if something was happening, right?”, Akaashi asks carefully, watching as Kuroo briefly stops what he’s doing.“Of course, babe.”, Kuroo says way too softly to a casual conversation.“Hm…”, Akaashi hums thoughtful as he watches Kuroo resume on making the food. “You know I wouldn’t judge your or anything, right?”“Keiji, what’s it with this conversation?”, Kuroo asks, suddenly defensive.“Nothing, babe, calm down.”, Akaashi says, giving one step backwards to give Kuroo more space.“I’m completely calm.”, Kuroo says between his teeth. He turns around to look at Akaashi. “You’re the one coming with a weird conversation out of nowhere. Do you wanna ask me something? Just go ahead.”“Are you cutting yourself?”, Akaashi asks, crossing his arms. He doesn’t feel good in pressuring Kuroo, but maybe this way he’ll be able to help.Kuroo stares at Akaashi, a mix of emotions on his golden eyes, and instead of answering he almost growls, walking to outside both the kitchen and the apartment. Akaashi sighs deeply, his shoulders dropping because he doesn’t know how to do. Maybe it’s time to do something that he should’ve done years ago. Akaashi walks to the small living room, grabbing his phone and dialing Kenma’s number.It’s only a week later that Akaashi has an answer to his question. He wakes up one night with the quiet sound of sobs and jumps awake from the bed, his foggy mind clearing up like the summer sky. He walks towards the sound, seeing the bathroom door open.Akaashi enters the bathroom, freezing in place with what he sees. Kuroo is curled up on the corner of the bathroom, his sleeves rolled up, droplets of blood on his gray sweatpants and on the white floor a razor blade on his hand. “Tetsu….”, Akaashi asks, his voice weak.Kuroo startles with Akaashi’s voice, hiding his bleeding arm against his body. “Go away!”, he asks, his voice lacking of all emotions that aren’t pure despair. “Please, don’t look…”, he begs.Akaashi looks at Kuroo’s begging eyes and complies, stepping out of the bathroom and walking to the kitchen, because he doesn’t want Kuroo to see him crying, he doesn’t want to put another weight on Kuroo’s shoulders. Akaashi place his hands on the counter, supporting all the weight of his body as he cries. He can’t believe something like this was happening under his roof and he hadn’t noticed it before. “Fuck…” he breathes out, passing his hands on his face, trying to wipe out his tears while walking back and forth on the kitchen. “Fuck.”, he repeats, pulling his hair. He doesn’t know what to do.But Akaashi knows he needs to do something, he can’t just let Kuroo alone in a cold bathroom cutting himself. So he takes a deep breath, trying to put his hair in order before walking back to the bathroom. But he doesn’t enter this time, he just sits down on the ground on the outside, his back against the wall that divide the living room of the bathroom.“Tetsu…”, Akaashi calls again, only loud enough to Kuroo to hear.“Keiji, please, no..”Kuroo begs again, his voice so weak that Akaashi feels himself like dying, his heart hurting on his chest. “I don’t want you to see me… Like this…”“Please, just… Listen to me, ok?”, Akaashi asks ever so softly. “I’m here with you, I won’t go anywhere. I’m with you. So when you feel ready, just let me clean your cuts…”, he says, because he can’t make the cuts disappear, so the only thing he can do now is to clean and guarantee that it won’t get infected.“I’m so sorry…”, Kuroo whispers from inside the bathroom and Akaashi can hear him crying.Akaashi doesn’t know how long it takes before he hears Kuroo moving inside the bathroom. The sink is turned on for a quick moment and then the cabinet being open and closed. He hears Kuroo padding towards the door, his socks barely making any sound but Akaashi can still hear him in the dead silent apartment. Kuroo knees on the ground by Akaashi’s side, handing him the first aid kit, his eyes glued to the floor when he extends his arm to Akaashi. Akaashi refrains all his comments about the scars, but he does notices how some of them seems to be old and others new and he can’t help but wonder for how long Kuroo has been dealing with this.Akaashi holds Kuroo’s arm lightly after soaking a cotton ball into rubbing alcohol. He starts cleaning the cuts in a extremely careful way, not wanting to hurt Kuroo any further, but Kuroo barely reacts. Akaashi does a dressing on the wound, carefully to protect the cuts so the gauze won’t glue to the raw flesh of the cuts.“I’m sorry.”, Kuroo whispers when Akaashi is almost at the end. “I try to stop but… I can’t.”“You have nothing to be sorry about, Tetsu…” Akaashi says, keeping his voice calm even though he’s in pieces. “I can’t say I understand, but... I wanna help you. But I can’t help if you don’t let me in…”“I didn’t want to be a burden.”, Kuroo whispers, watching as Akaashi finally finishes the dressing. “I didn’t want to force you to deal with… all this shit.”“Hey… You’re not a burden. I love you so much, Tetsu.”, Akaashi says frankly, leaning over a bit and kissing the older scars near Kuroo’s inner elbow. “I just want to be by your side and help you to pass through whatever is hurting you in the moment.”“I love you too…”, Kuroo whispers back, shivering with Akaashi’s kiss. “That’s why I didn’t want you to know… because I don’t think it’s fair.”“I think either it’s fair or not is my choice to make, right?”, Akaashi asks calmly. “Let me help you…”, he asks, pulling Kuroo closer softly.They kiss, a chaste and quiet kiss, but Kuroo sobs lightly against Akaashi’s lips, sliding closer and hiding himself against Akaashi’s body. Akaashi doesn’t know how to feel about everything, the only thing he’s sure is that he meant it when he said he wants to be part of it and to help. He loves Kuroo.-The sixth time it happens they’re about to move to their new home. Kuroo is about to defend his master’s thesis, only a few days left until the big day, and Akaashi isn’t surprised that Kuroo is freaking out. On top of that there’s the moving subject, because now that Kuroo finished his studies, at least for now, he can’t keep living in the dorms. So after a long conversation they decided to live together in another place.Under all this pressure, Kuroo starts to break. Akaashi can clearly see as Kuroo starts to fall apart again, because Kuroo stopped hiding behind big walls. Through more than a year Akaashi had researched about Kuroo’s problem, talking a lot with people that suffer from the same thing and with Kuroo himself, because anxiety is different depending on the person. So Akaashi can see when Kuroo is about to totally break.Kuroo starts with the nails, sinking them into his forearms, scratching deeply enough to mark all over his scars. When Kuroo is distracted watching tv or just spacing out, he’ll start to scratch his shoulders and shoulder blade almost until it breaks the skin. He also bites his wrists and the back of his hands, letting his teeth sink so deeply on his flesh that he’s always with tiny purple dots on his skin.But Akaashi doesn’t need to step in this time, because one day Kuroo wakes him up at the middle of night. “I need your help.”, he whispers, seeming pained. “I’m sorry.”“Shhh…”, Akaashi says softly, getting up. “I have an idea, alright? Stay here.”, he says as he walks to the kitchen.Akaashi is back with an ice tray before Kuroo can even blink. Kuroo looks puzzled at him while Akaashi takes out an ice cube from the tray. Akaashi grabs one of the cubes, holding Kuroo’s hand facing up on his other hand. He starts to slide the ice cube on Kuroo’s skin in circular motions, pressing softly against the flesh before sliding up to Kuroo’s wrists.“Ah…”, Kuroo breathes out, shivering.“Someone told me that ice cubes against the skin helps them to calm down from a high state of anxiety.”, Akaashi explains softly, running the melting cube over Kuroo’s healed scars.“It’s good..”, Kuroo admits, watching Akaashi’s movements. “Almost relaxing.”“Good…”, Akaashi smiles, keeping doing what he was doing, because he wants to make sure that Kuroo will be alright.Akaashi changes the arm once he feels that the first arm is already cool enough to the temperature of the ice doesn’t bother anymore. Kuroo takes advantage of Akaashi’s small break to lean against Akaashi and kiss his lips.“I love you so much, Keiji… Thank you so much for putting up with all my shit.”, Kuroo whispers against Akaashi’s lips, his breathing still heavy and uneven, but he’s coming down of his high stressed state.“I love you too. You’re the strongest person I know, and I’m really proud of you.”, Akaashi whispers back. “Thank you for letting me help.”They kiss again, slower and deeper than before. Akaashi loves Kuroo’s ability of rebuild himself after falling apart so hard. Kuroo is the strongest person Akaashi knows, because he always comes back, no matter in how many pieces his break into, he’ll always come back.
10485291	Shadowhunter AUs	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "Other", "Characters": null, "Fandom": "Shadowhunters (TV)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Not Rated", "author": "by shirasade", "chapters": "31/31", "completed": "", "published": "2017-10-31T00:00:00", "words": "134", "Additional Tags": null, "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Keeping this as placeholder, because I couldn't stand losing all those wonderful commments! All my Shadowhunter AUs can now be found in this collection, which is easily searchable. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Moved here. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- I've turned this 'verse into its own series. You can find this part here. (Kept this placeholder in order not to lose the lovely comments.)
10454934	Pepper Prank	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "Gen", "Characters": "Slash (Snowboard Kids), Jam (Snowboard Kids), Wendy (Snowboard Kids), Nancy (Snowboard Kids), Damien (Snowboard Kids)", "Fandom": "Snowboard Kids", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by sarahgirl1998", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-26T00:00:00", "words": "1,282", "Additional Tags": "Humor, Comedy, Sneezing, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Revenge, Male Sneezing, Female Sneezing, Male & Female Sneezing", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Damien was constantly upset about the Snowboard Kids. The fact that they were humans and he was an alien angered him a lot. Every day, he tried to act as normal as possible when near the other townspeople, but they kept remembering that he was an alien, which broke his plans. He tried a different prank on the Snowboard Kids every day, but they always backfired on him. Oftentimes, when that happened, the kids would generally humiliate him. For the longest time, Damien didn’t know what to do about the Snowboard Kids.But one day, he came up with a prank that he never used before - to make them sneeze.Damien quietly went to Slash's house while he was at school and went into the kitchen. He saw that the ceiling fan was off, and when he saw a nearby pepper shaker - a clear, glass container with a pile of black pepper inside and a grey lid with nine large holes - sitting on the kitchen table, he came up with an evil plan.He took a ladder, grabbed the pepper shaker and climbed up to the fan. He shook pepper all over the five paddles. He knew for sure that, when someone turned it on using the string connected to the fan, the pepper would fall down onto that person and make them sneeze. He put the pepper back on the table and the ladder back outside, and adjusted the fan as carefully as he could to make sure it would turn on when someone pulled the string. This way, nobody would ever know that Damien was there or what he had done. He left the house, hid under the window in the backyard and watched through the window for Slash to come home.Later, Slash not only came home, but also brought his friends Jam, Nancy and Wendy to hang out for a while."Do you guys want some soda?" Slash asked."Go get it, dude!" Jam said."Yes, I would like some," Wendy said."Yeah!" Nancy said.Damien was watching and waiting as Slash went to get a six-pack of soda and his friends went to the living room to wait for their drinks."It's kind of hot in here," Slash said to himself. Holding the pack in one hand, he used the other hand to pull the string on the fan and turn it on. The fan first rotated slowly, but it quickly increased in speed in a matter of seconds until it reached maximum speed. The pepper that Damien had poured onto it flew off the paddles and rained down, all over Slash, who was just about to leave."What the...?" Slash thought just as some pepper landed onto him. He hadn't realized what Damien had done, and he made the unfortunate mistake of inhaling the pepper through his nose. That was when it happened; a sneeze began to build and challenged Slash to a big, bad battle, causing him to inhale repeatedly."Ahhh... AHHH-- AHHH--"Damien grew a sinister smile. His prank was working. He had never seen or heard Slash sneeze - or any of the Snowboard Kids, for that matter - and he decided it would be interesting to see what it would be like if one of them did and what would happen. Slash kept inhaling until he let out one of the biggest, loudest sneezes Damien had ever heard.“AHHH-- AHHH-- AHHH-CHOOOOOO!!!”Such a disastrous noise was enough that the kids in the living room could hear it. All three of them were surprised as they had never heard Slash sneeze; well, they did hear him sneeze, but none of the ones he ever did were that loud. This was the first exception they had ever heard in their lives.“What was that?!” Jam asked.“It sounded like a sneeze,” Wendy said.“NO WAY!” Nancy said in surprise. “No one can sneeze like that!”The kids went into the kitchen where Slash was, just before he began to sneeze again as the pepper was refusing to give up.“Ahhh-- AHHH-CHOOOO! AHHH-CHOOOO!”The others ran over to Slash as he sneezed. They were all concerned about him.“Slash, are you alright?” Nancy asked.“Guys, there-- AHHH-CHOO!! There was pepper on the-- AHHH-CHOO!!”“On the fan?” Jam asked as though he had seen this before.“Yeah,” Slash said as his sneezing ended temporarily, and he rubbed his nose on the back of his hand.Damien was laughing evilly to himself that his scheme had worked. He came to the conclusion that Slash always sneezed like that. But the effects were just beginning, because the other Kids began to sneeze as well.Nancy was the first of them, as she inhaled the pepper that was still flying around, and now a sneeze of her own was coming to get her.“Ahhh-- AHHH-- AHHH--!”She was inhaling and everyone could hear her. They ran out of the way, expecting huge sneezes, but the sneezes that came out weren’t quite as big.“AHHH-- Choo! Choo!”Nancy sneezed twice into her hands, and the kids calmed down for the moment because they didn’t expect her to sneeze like that. The sneezes were very quiet, and almost sounded faked.“Oh, that was close. I thought you were going to blow up,” Jam said."Ugh, excuse me... That stuff works wonders!” Nancy said as she rubbed her nose politely with her forefinger.Damien was quite disappointed when he heard Nancy. He was expecting a powerful sneeze, or at least a large or loud one.Jam was the next one to sneeze, and his was going to be comparatively larger than Nancy’s.“Ahhh-- AHHH--”He tried to stop himself and put a hand over his mouth. It seemed as though the sneeze disappeared, so he removed his hand, but that turned out to be a big mistake.“AHHH-CHOO!!!”His sneeze was quite loud and surprised the others. Damien heard Jam sneeze, and all negative thoughts involving Nancy disappeared. Jam continued to sneeze as he tried to talk to Wendy.“AHHH-CHOO!! Wendy, what… AHHH-CHOO!! ...should we do? AHHH-CHOO!!”“We’ll have to wait until everyone stops,” Wendy said. Then, however, she began to sneeze herself.“Ahhh… AHHH--!!”Not wanting to end up like her friends, Wendy thought fast and put her right forefinger directly under her nose, expecting to stop the sneeze. But that didn’t work for her.“AHHHHHHH-CHOOOOOOOO!!! AHHH-CHOOOOOO!! AHHH-CHOOOO!”She sneezed loudly, three times in a row, all of which alerted her friends to what she was doing. They turned around and saw her rubbing her nose with that same forefinger.“You okay?” Jam asked.“Yes, I’m fine,” Wendy said, just before another sneeze approached her and she inhaled for one more loud sneeze. “Ahhh-- Ahhh-- CHOOOO!”Having had enough fun getting to see the kids sneeze, Damien ran back on his spaceship, laughing evilly. It seemed as though he had finally gotten his revenge, and he just couldn’t be happier.Back inside the house, Nancy pulled on the rope, which turned off the fan, stopped the pepper from being blown around and brought everyone’s sneezing to an end. Everyone proceeded to rub their noses - Slash on the back of his hand, Jam on his arm, and Wendy and Nancy on their forefingers.“Oh, my gosh, man,” Jam said. “That stuff really works. I thought it only did on TV.”“Nope,” Slash said. “And who the heck put pepper on the fan?”“There’s only one person who could do something so evil,” Wendy said. “Damien.”“I was just about to say that!” Nancy said. “We need to do something. We need revenge.”The other kids agreed, and then tried to think of a plan.
10455768	Hide in the Dark	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "Gen", "Characters": "Cheon Song Yi, Cheon Yoon Jae", "Fandom": "별에서 온 그대 \| My Love From the Star", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by NemiMontoya", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-26T00:00:00", "words": "1,227", "Additional Tags": "Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Sibling Bonding, Fluff, Cheon Yoon Jae/Do Min Joon (unrequited), One Shot", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Cheon Song Yi turned on the lamp on the nightstand with a sigh. It had been a couple of months now since Do Min Joon vanished, and only lately had she finally been able to get a decent night’s sleep. But there were still some nights where her sleep was fitful at best, and this seemed to be one of those nights. She considered briefly checking her twitter but all those weeks of having been on the receiving end of that vicious hate campaign being branded a murderer had left her a bit gun shy when it came to social media. Even though everyone was mostly apologetic now that her reputation was cleared, she seldom tried to connect with her fanbase anymore like she used to.She got out of bed, pulling on her robe. She had a sudden craving for a mug of steaming hot coffee, and though it was the middle of the night she knew she wouldn’t get any more sleep tonight anyway, and padded down to the kitchen.Downstairs it was dark, but in the light coming in from the windows she could make out a shape huddled in the corner of the sofa. She could hear soft breaths, a little sniffle. Her heart began to pound as she for a moment thought it was Do Min Joon who had returned, but as she looked closer she saw that it wasn’t him. Of course it wasn’t. It never was. Holding back a sigh of disappointment, she turned on the switch on the nearest lamp.”Yoon Jae,” she called out softly, as he sharply looked up.”Sis!” Yoon Jae sighed. ”Don’t sneak up on me like that, you scared the hell out of me!””Well, you scared me too, a little,” she replied, sitting down next to him. ”Why were you sitting here in the dark?””No reason. Just thinking about stuff,” Yoon Jae muttered, turning away from her.”Pining over a girl?” Song Yi smiled. ”Good, then we can pine and be miserable together. I was just about to make some coffee. You want something? Hot chocolate?””It’s the middle of the night.””I’m aware. I’m having some anyway. So? Hot chocolate?””I’m fine, thanks.”Song Yi began to get up, but sat back down when she noticed Yoon Jae’s red eyes.”Have you been crying?” Song Yi’s eyes narrowed. ”Who is this girl who made my baby brother cry? Give me her name right now! I’m gonna give her a lesson she’ll never forget!””There’s no damn girl,” Yoon Jae said, quietly.”What is it then? School?”Yoon Jae shook his head. As Song Yi happened to glance down, she noticed some photos in his hand, tucked in by his thigh.”What are those?”As Song Yi made a grab for them,Yoon Jae hurriedly tried to stuff them in his pocket, but she managed to snatch them out of his hand. She recognized them immediately.”These were Do Min Joon’s. The ones he gave to you, right?” she asked, flipping through the pictures, smiling fondly at the beautiful images. Yoon Jae nodded, lip trembling.”You miss him too?” Song Yi asked softly. A tear slid down her brother’s cheek. And suddenly, a suspicion formed in her mind. She knew that look on his face. It was the same look she saw in the mirror every day.”Yoon Jae are you…”He took a deep breath, as if he knew what she was going to ask and was bracing himself.”Are you in love with Do Min Joon?”He closed his eyes, but his reply was clear and steady.”Yes.”Song Yi slumped down in the sofa. After a moment’s silence, Yoon Jae anxiously asked:”Are you mad?””What?”Song Yi grabbed his hand, squeezing it gently.”No! Of course not. I’m just a little surprised. I thought you just looked up to him, you know, like an older brother. I never considered that you might be… but perhaps I should have.”She squeezed his hand again, moving a little closer to him on the couch. Normally Yoon Jae would rebuff any of her attempts at sisterly affection with his usual tough guy attitude, but tonight it seemed he was just too sick and tired of the act to push her away.”You can talk to me about these things, you know,” she said quietly.”Oh, sure,” he laughed bitterly. ”Because it’s so easy to tell your sister ’hey, I’m gay and also madly in love with your alien boyfriend, and now he’s gone and it hurts so bad that sometimes I feel like I can’t breathe.’ Besides,” he added more softly, ”What right do I have to make this about me when you’re going through so much already? His heart belongs to you. Not me.””Yoon Jae, you still have every right to be upset,” Song Yi protested. ”You can’t help how you feel. You don’t have to sit here alone in the dark.””I’m used to it,” he said quietly.Song Yi looked at him questioningly, and he sighed.”Look, sis… I don’t resent you any more, but I did for a long time. I knew you had it tough, but… nobody was ever really concerned about me or what I did. Dad was gone, and mom was completely wrapped up in you and your career. If I did good it didn’t matter. If I screwed up it didn’t matter. Nothing I did mattered. I was practically invisible. And I blamed it on you. I’m sorry.”Song Yi smiled softly, shaking her head a little.”And then I met him,” Yoon Jae continued, ”And by that time, of course, he already loved you. I never even had a chance. But I was okay with that, as long as I got to see him. But now he’s gone. And I sit here alone in the dark because that’s how I’ve been used to dealing with stuff my whole life.”Song Yi sighed pulled her feet up on the sofa. She put her arm around his shoulders, resting her head against his.”It’s been hard on you,” she whispered. ”And I know I haven’t always been there for you. But I’d like to be. If you’re hurting I’d like you to tell me. Even if I’m hurting too. Because the thought of you thinking you have to hide your pain away like this makes me feel awful. I want to show you that you can trust me. You’re my baby brother, Yoon Jae. I love you.”Yoon Jae leaned in a little closer to her.”Love you too, sis.””I think we feel more and more like a real family, recently, don’t you?” Song Yi smiled. ”Dad’s making an effort, and mom too… miracles do happen.”They laughed softly together.”Yoon Jae… I’m not gonna say ’there’s plenty of fish in the sea’ or any of that horrible patronizing crap, but I will say this: when you do meet a man that’s right for you - and you will - he’s gonna count himself lucky. You’re smart, you’re passionate and you’re kind. And good looking,” she added, nudging his shoulder. He smiled at her.”How could you not be? You’re my brother,” she said, winking and flipping her untidy hair.And then she strode off to the kitchen to make them both hot chocolate.
10498647	Daily Grind	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": null, "Characters": "Link (Legend of Zelda), Revali (Legend of Zelda), Mipha (Legend of Zelda), Prince Sidon", "Fandom": null, "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by ionizedyeast", "chapters": "3/?", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-30T00:00:00", "words": "7,798", "Additional Tags": "Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, College, Human AU", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Link & Revali (Legend of Zelda), Link/Revali (Legend of Zelda)", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms", "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": "F/F, M/M, Multi", "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	It’s the worst order he’s ever had to make. All five flavor shots, split between five flavors: vanilla, hazelnut, caramel, coconut, and white chocolate. Vanilla and White chocolate steamed with soy milk. The other three with almond milk. Four shots of espresso line the bottom of the drink before half the milk is poured in, in the aforementioned order. Stop halfway with the caramel steamed milk, add another double shot before finishing the milk. Should any extra foam get in that drink, so help you god. Top with whipped cream with a crosshatch drizzle of chocolate in one direction, caramel in the other direction and sprinkled with cinnamon and nutmeg. Let it all be added that it needed to be prepared extra hot, unless it was the summer and the drink needs to be extra cold, and ready in five minutes, but it can’t be watered down and don’t you dare let there be excess. He paid for that entire drink, and there’s not a chance in hell that you are going to try it. To make it worse, the guy is there every morning. Without a single days reprieve. As far as anyone knows, he comes on days he’s sick, on holidays, weekends -- no one can vouch for him ever skipping a day. Link has been there eight months. He’s made this drink now, 243 times. He knows it by heart, and from what he recalls, he’s the only one who this problem customer deems to make it right. Or as close to right as ‘that old barista’ used to make. Thankfully, he’s never experienced the misfortune of having to ring in the drink. But if he knows how to read that cup well enough, he’d be able to figure it out should he ever be required to. He hopes he never has to. He’s eternally grateful to know Mipha, the opening shift manager, is typically the one to take the order. Link doesn’t know much about him past his face and name and something about being the founder of some local business. His name’s Barty. Despite his drink order being the most convoluted thing he’s ever had to partake in creating, he doesn’t seem to be the worst guy on the planet. Just the sort of guy who expects everything to be done, exactly as he wants it in the fastest manner possible. He always leaves tips, nothing extravagant (although Link thinks he should), he always raves about how he’d love to buy the place, and how it’s a shame he can’t. Mipha is a sweet girl, a few years Link’s senior. She’s been with the cafe, Drinks Awakening, for a few years now. And it shows. She knows the cafe better than anyone, including the regulars who sometimes vanish for a few months at a time, and return to go back to their old standby. She’s a small girl, next to Link, around five feet tall with long, dark hair often pulled into a braid and sometimes styled upwards with bobby pins. She and Link had their dates, never really going anywhere, but they were enjoyable. Very much so. Every morning when she comes in, Link has typically been working the overnight shift by the time she arrives, and no matter how early, she greets him with a smile and a few words of encouragement. Nothing quite like her brothers words, but positivity clearly runs in their family. Mipha always arrives at six in the morning for her shift, and her brother comes in at eight, when Link usually gets to leave for the day. He often has to come back later for the closing shift again. Mipha’s younger brother, Sidon, dwarfs Link. Whatever height may have run in their family, Sidon inherited it all, reaching well past six and a half feet. He shares the same, dark red hair Mipha has and keeps it pulled into a ponytail, which management continuously suggests he cut off. He clearly has no intentions to do so, and lets it sway behind him as he walks. Link enjoys his company, and the rare shift they share together. Sidon usually works on the bar like Link does, so their overlapping shifts are infrequent. Just a little bit of time with him, and Link feels unstoppable. A shift with both Mipha and Sidon is a surefire way to make sure no one feels insecure. When Sidon comes in, it’s Links cue that he can relax for the day. Barty has already come and gone, and he knows he doesn’t have another nightmare of a drink to make. Sidon clasps a friendly hand on Links shoulder, smiling brightly before he begins to tie on his apron. “Calm morning as usual, yes?” he asks, as Link nods curtly. “Don’t worry, I’m sure you did great today --” “Excuse me,” The jingle of the bell above the door interrupts the employees. There’s a soft snapping sound following up with the bell and the chiming voice that demands to be listened to. In the doorway of the cafe stood a crisply dressed young man, hair slicked back with shark, piercing green eyes. “My father directed me here to supervise the lot of you, and to determine whether or not you’ll be worth my time.” Should grimaces make noises, the three staffers would have made such a sound. Link suspected it would’ve been a wet, squishing sound manifesting in unison of three individuals who experienced the same disgust at the same moment. The employees of Drinks Awakening weren’t unaccustomed to the pompous regulars. They happened more frequently than they’d like, and this new guest was an indication of someone they could either willingly shove away by giving poor service to, from the sounds of it. Or someone they could either have a good laugh over. “There’s no way he’s Ganon’s son,” Mipha whispered, almost nervously to her brother and Link as the young man approached the register. “He doesn’t have a son, does he?” Despite their huddling, the young man leans against the counter, tapping on the fake marble for a moment. “No, not Ganon, who I’m aware is the owner -- Bartholomew. He’s my father, and he’s been raving about this little hole in the wall for years. Constantly tells me that someone here makes the best coffees he’s ever had, so I thought --” He shrugs momentarily before sweeping a hand through his already brushed back hair. “Name’s Revali. Since I’m about to follow in his footsteps professionally, why not do the same in regards to his tastes. Pick up whatever it is he drinks every day. So, if you don’t mind.” There’s a moment amongst the workers where they have to process what it is that he’d just said. Barty? Their regular with the most asinine drink on the planet? He had a son. None of them had ever heard about him before. This was their first time learning about the guy, and here he was, barging in, insisting on a second creation of their most lamented beverage. “Th-the exact same?” Mipha asked quietly, a little surprised that she had to type in the order for a second time that day. Exchanging looks with Link, his shoulders sag and he opens the cooler to retrieve the soy and almond milk that he had become so familiar with. The young man flashes Mipha a playful smirk. “You heard me; what’s the damage.” Sounding a little startled, Mipha punches in the order and looks toward Link who has already pulled out several cups to begin portioning the different syrups. “$9.68, please.” She says, waiting for the guest to retrieve a card or his wallet, or some indication of payment. But instead, his expression falls, his sharp eyes narrowing upon standing upright. He clears his throat, adjusting the navy blue blazer that wrapped cleanly around his torso. “I’m sorry?” he says, sounding displeased. “Are you trying to tell me my father pays nearly ten bucks everyday for a drink ?” Link is midsteam when he hears the guests tone of voice, offering a glance to Sidon who has already begun to position himself behind his sister. “W-well, yes.” Mipha begins to squeak out. “He pays for several different add-ons. His drink is very elaborate.” His lip twitches, and a sneer becomes evident upon his face as he rather begrudgingly reaches within his jacket to retrieve his wallet. As if to add insult to injury to the staff for the price of his drink, a very noticeable lump of cash peeks from within the leather folds. “You’re lucky I make that much in a minute, or I’d be pissed.” Hastily, and with some fumbling, Mipha swipes his card before handing it back. He doesn’t tip. Instead, he stands at the bars end, watching as Link continues the chemistry required to make such a beverage. “What are you doing?” he asks hotly, brow quirked as Link pours the second doubleshot into the drink before layering the various flavored milks. Link simply looks up to him, makes eyecontact with Revali and continues. “Hey,” Revali barks. “I asked a question, answer me.” “Making your drink.” Link replies, his tone even, despite wanting to raise it to silence the guest. He pulls another doubleshot and resumes the drink. “But why like that ?” Revali gestures at the multiple cups. “There’s no way my father was that particular.” “Oh, but he was.” Sidon intervenes, knowing his coworkers preference for working in silence. “He was very picky by how we prepared his drink, and often cited that this man making your drink is the best we have.” He offers Revali a bright smile as Link continues his silent construction. He might not say it, but he is grateful for the intervention. There’s a moment longer of Link’s construction before he tops the drink with whipped cream, and its final fixing before he lifts it to the edge of the bar. He doesn’t wait a second more and instantly pulls his apron off, not even sticking around to hear Revali’s reaction to the drink. It’s past eight in the morning and he’s ready to snag a couple of hours of sleep. Of course, he can’t ignore the sputtering and the angry declaration of “What is this crap?!” Link’s back hasn’t even turned to face Revali before he has to turn around to examine the face of the annoyed customer at the bar. His mouth is now covered by his hand, wiping his lips aggressively with a napkin. “This has got to be wrong. There’s absolutely no way my dad would drink this crap.” Sidon is behind Link, prepared to defend him already, but there’s no need. Link lets him rave for a moment, complaining about the drink. “Your dad drank it and liked it.” Link says quietly as he grabs a rag to clean off one of the steaming wands. “I don’t know what’s wrong then.” “You’re just making it wrong because I’m not him, that’s all it is. Obviously.” Revali turns after that. He turns and Link drops his apron on the counter, heaving out a sigh. He’s not one to use coarse language, but he’s never wanted to tell someone to go fuck themselves so much in his life. As it were, this would not be the last encounter with Revali. Just the first of many. And as it were, Revali would prove to be not as much of a jackass as previously thought. As time would progress, Revali would worm his way into the lives of the employees of Drinks Awakening. He would learn how to flatter Mipha, complimenting how easily she wore a smile in the morning. He’d be charmed by Sidon’s overwhelming positivity, agreeing with it entirely as a means of stroking his own ego. He would meet the cafes other employees, the night manager who lived in the apartment next door with her far-too-many dogs for one person. The two of three triplets who often liked to secretly trade shifts with one another without anyones realization. And the regulars who would defend the cafes staff to the death. But what would draw Revali back time and time again, was that silent, but sharp-tongued barista who had apparently perfected his fathers drink. Revali would find himself spilling juicy stories about himself, his family and everything in his life to the quiet man behind the bar. And it wouldn’t be long until he realized how much the boy behind the bar knew about him. And how he didn’t know a damn thing in return. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Link manages to get home after that and score himself a few hours of sleep. He often has classes between two in the afternoon and eight at night. He works himself ragged most days. He works eight hour work shifts on school days, and often attempts doubles on his days off. No one at Drinks Awakening has the gall to tell him to take some time off, as he usually brushes off their concern with a gentle hand wave and a reassurance that he hasn’t bitten off too much. They don’t need to know he’s exhausted, they all work and go to school as well. His burden’s nothing he needs to bother them with. It’s why he chooses to simply listen to his customers as he makes their drinks. It’s on his way to class that Link stops back in. He needs to put a few ounces of caffeine into his system before he can bring himself to focus on anything else. Mipha is just clocking out when he arrives, her 6-2 shifts aren’t for everyone but she knows how to handle them with finesse. She offers Link a smile as he comes in. “You feeling better from this morning?” She asks, knowing that Revali’s presence that morning was enough to rattle him. “Hopefully we won’t have to deal with him again, if that’s how he reacted.” Link only shrugs, not sure how he truly felt about the problem customer. Sidon is still at the bar when Link gets to the register where one of the part-timers has punched in to ring him out. He’s a blonde kid with thin, almost squinty eyes that indicate he likely needs glasses. “H’llo, Link -- the usual today?” the kid asks cheerfully. All the cheer aside, Link knows -- this kid is not who he says he is. “Yes.” A pause. “Fado, if you’re going to switch shifts with Makar you don’t have to pretend you’re him. You can put your glasses on.” The kid looks around, glancing toward one of the corner booths where another blonde kid, exclaims ‘Dang it!’ relatively loudly before taking off a pair of glasses and ushering them over to the counter. Link has to stifle his laughter. Fado, Makar, and their sister Saria -- are triplets. Two of the three of them work for Drinks Awakening part time. Fado and Makar often like to try and trick their employees by switching places, but of course, some of the more seasoned workers have seen past their tricks. The triplets are all still in high school: seniors. Fado and Makar started working as per their moms request. Saria, though a regular even without her brothers employment, takes all AP courses so she finds work would just slow down her academics. “You’re getting good at that,” Makar -- much wider eyes than Fado, who desperately needs his glasses -- announces, leaning on the counter. “I’m cash tomorrow you know. We get to work together. It’s been soo long!” It takes Link a moment, looking from the two boys before he questions, “Why aren’t you in school?” “State testing,” Fado shrugs, adjusting his glasses so he can see again. “We got out at twelve. Saria’s probably just getting out now.” Hm. Link assesses the situation and supposes having the triplets around for a few days might lighten the atmosphere. The two boys usually only work on weekends, so having them around for a few days sounds almost exciting. Link fishes out the three and some change for his drink and slides it down for Fado once he rings it out. He leaves the two boys for a moment to lean on the bar where Sidon is making his drink for him. It’s somewhere between a cafe au lait and a red eye. He’s not sure what to call it, but he just knows he likes it. Sidon is the only other person who knows how to make it the way he likes, but he doesn’t get stressed if someone else has to hop on for it. It’s a dark roast coffee, usually French Roast, with a double shot of espresso (god knows he needs it), with steamed chocolate almond milk and a few squirts of toffee. It’s probably sweeter than he needs it to be, but it’s exactly what he likes to get him through the day. He’s never been so grateful for a fifty percent discount. “You seem more relaxed,” Sidon comments warmly. Where Link is often silent as a barista, Sidon’s a chatterbox. He loves to talk to people waiting for their drinks, make their wait a little more pleasant. Link personally finds that most people often get irritated with him when he attempts to make small talk. “I slipped a fifth shot in here for you, you have that night class tonight, don’t you?” Link let an annoyed groan slip. He’d forgotten entirely about it. He nods, grateful for Sidon’s foresight and rests his head on the bar, tired eyes staring forward and unblinking. So much for scoring another few hours of sleep after class that night. “You work with Midna tonight, in case you needed a little pick me up. She’ll let you rest if you need to.” Sidon smiles at him, and sets his drink up before giving him an encouraging squeeze on the shoulder. “You’ve got this, I have complete faith in you.” With the reassurance from Sidon, Link relaxes. Drink in hand he waves goodbye (for now) to his coworkers before leaving for classes. He’ll be back a few hours later for yet another midnight to eight shift. Truly, he doesn’t mind those shifts. He swears. He’s majoring in Communications. Ironic, really. But he knows it will take him in the direction it needs to. He’s working on courses in ASL as a fallback. At one point he considered teaching, but he’s not sure if that direction is ideal for him. He’s preferably non-verbal, and having to speak more than he’s comfortable doesn’t sound like the best option. He’s still young. He has plenty of time to figure something out. He supposes that’s what he likes about working at Drinks Awakening. Plenty of opportunities to network. Make connections. Be inspired. Or something. He’s sitting in one of his last gen-ed courses, just a basic English course. Next to him sits Zelda -- a long term friend from his neighborhood as a kid. Somehow, the two of them, without knowledge of the other, had applied and were accepted to the same university. On the opposite side of the state. It had turned out to be pretty convenient for the two of them. They had the opportunity to share an apartment together, which made living in an unfamiliar city much easier on them both. Neither of them are in the same department together. Link settled with his Communications, while Zelda has her nose buried in Anthropology and Mechanical Engineering. Often, when people cross paths with them, they expect their majors to be flipped, but not a chance. “I heard you had quite the nasty customer this morning,” Zelda commented to Link quietly, amidst the hum of their professor discussing the meaning of a particular text they were reviewing. Zelda doesn’t work at Drinks Awakening, but she frequents the cafe enough to know the employees well enough. “Mipha mentioned to me that he dragged Barty’s drink after you made it.” Without looking up from her notebook, Link catches her smile as they speak. “I’m pretending he didn’t happen.” He says lowly as he scrawls out the words ‘stream of consciousness’ on his page. He scribbles idly on the corner of the page as Zelda sits upright, faintly trying to egg him on to continue. “You’re always going to have problem customers, you know.” She adds. “Best to just deal with them as they come.” Truth be told, Link had actually found himself dwelling on his long-term regulars son. He’d gotten under his skin. Naturally, if Link had found himself swearing at the guy in his head. Revali had rubbed him the wrong way. Rarely do customers make him that irritated with them. Often, he’s quite good at just brushing off the negativity of other people, and can bury himself in the work he’s preoccupied himself with. But there was something about how Revali talked to him. How he mouthed off to Mipha -- it pissed him off. Maybe it was in the way his eyes narrowed, and he practically smirked as he spoke down to the group. Maybe it was the entitled way he spoke. How he felt like he deserved better than his father. Maybe it was how even with that attitude he didn’t leave a tip. Link wasn’t able to focus on his classes for the rest of the day. Zelda was right, he really ought to deal with bad customers as they came, but Revali had gotten under his skin. The staff at Drinks Awakening were family for him, and he wasn’t about to let it go. Especially if the guy was going to potentially come back. He was absolutely prepared to tell the guy once he came back that based on his performance, he wasn’t welcome there. He wasn’t a manager, but he was pretty sure he wouldn’t have a hard time convincing the others. “Listen, hun.” Midna’s a short girl, a bit on the heavy side with fiery red hair that everyone has a hard telling if it’s natural or not. She leans against the counter, nails clicking against the counter. Midna lives in the apartment over the cafe with several rescue dogs she’s picked up off the street. No one’s really sure how many she actually owns as the number always seems to change. The girl is practically noctural, always working the overnight shift with Link from ten in the evening until six when Mipha arrives. There’s something akin to a goth flare to her; it’s in the makeup. So the overnight shift is too appropriate for her. “As much as I’d loooove to ban the guy,” she hums as she begins to swap out change from the tip jar for larger bills. “He’s only gone as far as be a jackass. When he starts to really be a dick to all of us, then we’ll talk to the Big Guy next time he stops in.” The Big Guy in question is the cafes owner, some guy named Ganon whom Link has only had the misfortune of meeting twice. He’s one of those cold, dictatorial owners -- Friendly upon first meeting and in passing, but a complete terror when he’s evaluating work performance. When Ganon comes in, suddenly anyone with even the slightest indication of slacking is at their absolute best, and performing to the nines. It’s currently around five in the morning, meaning within the hour people are going to start trickling in to pick up their morning coffee on their way to their nine to fives. Working with Midna is usually a nice reprieve for Link. She usually lets him hang out doing his homework when people aren’t popping in and out during the night. It’s a college town so it’s not like he doesn’t have to make an eight shot latte at three in the morning. Usually he finds himself sitting at one of the tables closest to the bar, his computer open, writing a paper, or researching for a project. She gets that he’s overworked. That he’s taken off way more than he should be able to comfortably handle. She’s not even past letting Link take a nap in the break room if he needs it. “I don’t want to have to make anything for him, if he’s going to give Mipha attitude like that.” Link says lowly. “Why should we have to do something for us if he’s going to give us crap?” Midna rolls her eyes and strolls past Link, patting him on the back as she goes to empty a garbage she’s been neglecting for the past two hours. “Give the guy a chance. Just ‘cause someone’s a dick the first time doesn’t mean they’re gonna be one forever.” She snorts a bit as she slides the can out of the cupboard its stored in, and then laughs loudly. “Pfft, no, seriously -- if he’s a dick, just deal with it. Fuck him.” She pauses, tapping her finger against her chin. “On second thought, if he’s hot, actually fuck him.” “I’d rather not.” Link says quietly as he ends up logging on to social media instead of checking some article for his work. He’s not looking for anything in particular, but he needs to tear his eyes away from his coursework, and he’s not about to start cleaning the espresso machines this early. He’s not sure what he is. He’s had his relationships. With guys. Girls. He’s dated both Sidon and Mipha before. He’s had a fling with his coworker, Ravio. He’s had a fling with Midna. But he’s not sure what he’s into. He’s into food and sleeping. That much he knows for sure. Food and sleep are things he’ll always be into. People? He’s not sure. He’ll consider them when he has the time. “Is he cute?” Midna asks, typing the garbage back and popping into the back room to toss the bag away. “‘Cause if he’s hot enough, I might be able to forgive him being a dick.” “I was too focused on trying not to tell him to fuck off, to consider if he was attractive.” Link rubs at his eyes and closes his social media and goes back to attempting to read the article. “He just kept sneering and smirking like he knew this job better than us.” “What color were his eyes.” “Green, why --” “You were looking at him long enough to notice his eye color, so, I’m thinking.” Link looks up and Midna is pushing down his laptop monitor. “You took a moment to judge if he was hot. Don’t you lie to me, I can read ya like a suburban mom’s text message.” Link leans back in his seat, covering his face again, groaning softly. “Yeah, alright fine -- maybe that’s why his attitude got to me. It’s not fair that a guy that looks good has to be that rude.” Midna giggles. It’s a cheeky, knowing sort of giggle as she reaches out and combs her fingers through his hair. “Most of the best guys are. S’why I prefer girls.” At this point she does close his laptop and shoos him. “Go nap or something. We haven’t had someone in an hour. I’ll bug ya when the rush starts.” It’s ten of seven when Midna wakes him from his nap, citing that he slept a good thirty minutes longer than she’d expected him to. Apron back on, Link accepts that he needs to get himself moving again. Mipha’s already arrived and been making drinks in Links stead while he rested up. “Good Morning, sleeping beauty.” She teases as Link yawns, washing his hands before he takes her place. “Feeling better today?” He offers her a faint smile, scratching at the back of his head somewhat sheepishly. Midna’s opted to stay a bit later than her shift, and as far as Link’s aware, it’s probably because she wants to see if the problem customer returns. Mipha steps aside and lets Link finish the drink she’d started -- medium mocha with added caramel, no whipped cream, 2% milk. And not a second after Link begins to steam the milk does he look up -- and it’s him . He rolls his eyes, scoffing, and opting to not acknowledge the guy, instead focusing on the drink at hand. The girl at the end of the counter looks to be a student, probably a high school girl, and she is much more pleasant to look at than that guy. She’s wearing a smile, and that guy is wearing a scowl and Link doesn’t want to deal with it. He slides the drink to the girl, wishes her a good day, and starts to poise himself closer to Mipha in the event he starts to give her even the slightest semblance of an attitude. (From the other side of the register, Midna mouths ‘Oh my god, is that him?’ followed by a soft, but audible, ‘Holy shit.’) Revali is dressed in a suit, and from the looks of it, it’s name brand and specifically tailored to the guy. It’s impeccably fitted to his torso, outlining his features and elongating him. His hair today isn’t slicked back, but instead is brushed professionally to the side, just faintly masking the side of his face. His brows are knit together, but Link suspects this is natural for him. Perfectly matched to his almost unnaturally bright, emerald eyes. (Link catches himself. Midna is absolutely right. He has stared at Revali long enough to determine his attractiveness.) Link opens his mouth, prepared to tell him to watch himself, but Revali holds up his hands, and clasps them together. His lips purse together, and he pulls them into a smile, much to the surprise of the cafe employees. Revali inhales quickly, and exhales just as fast. “I think we got off on the wrong foot.” He announces, almost apologetically. “I was absolutely, unnecessarily crass with you yesterday morning, and I’d like to make it up to you.” Link can’t help but scoff. This draws Revali’s gaze as he focuses on him. “You especially, I brought that drink to my father yesterday, and he told me you made it exactly as he orders it, and I’m just simply not accustomed to his palette.” Revali confesses, with a strange amount of class and civility for someone who had given them such a hard time the day before. Link isn’t buying it, his arms crossed over his chest somewhat aggressively. Perhaps trying to make a statement. This is his cafe. His people. He doesn’t like Revali’s attitude. And he’s not going to accept the apology so easily. “Oh, well thank you!” Mipha is quick to accept the apology, as is natural for her. She’s very much a supporter of forgive and forget when someone owns up to their behavior, but it still doesn’t sit well with Link. Midna, on the other hand has caught Links gaze and opted to wiggle her eyebrows a little bit at him. “I appreciate your willingness to apologize, can we get anything for you today?” Revali, noticing that Link hasn’t accepted yet, rubs his hands together. “Well, I was thinking, going the same route as my father -- going off the menu. Specialty drinks, maybe?” Oh great . Link says to himself. He silently prays to himself that the words he dreads aren’t going to come out. “How about, barista’s choice?” God damn it. “Oooh, good one~” Midna chimes eagerly as she reaches over Mipha and begins to punch a few buttons on the registers screen. “Link’s always good at coming up with good drinks. I’m sure he’d be glad to make you something fun. Anything you don’t want in a drink?” “I’m new to coffee.” Revali says with a smile, “Surprise me.” Revali leans on the edge of the bar as he watches Link work. He’s pleased with himself. He’s made the employees here change their mind about him. Well, two of them he supposes. This quiet guy on the bar seems to still have it out for him. He watches, noticing what he pulls out. Caramel. Coconut. Chocolate. Revali’s not the biggest fan of coconut, but he’ll test the guy. See what he has in mind. “You know, you really ought to talk to your customers while you’re working.” Revali says. “My father says that to truly master your craft, you need to learn how to talk idly while doing it.” “I wouldn’t say this is my craft.” Link replies quickly as he measures milk into a steaming pitcher with the flavors added to it. “It’s my job.” Revali stares at him momentarily, a brow quirked as he leans up and checks his watch. It’s ten after seven. He’ll have plenty of time to stick around here if he needs to. “So why do it if it’s not your craft?” Link stops and stares at him for a moment. “ Because it’s my job .” A grimace falls upon Revalis face as he stands upright as Link tamps the espresso in place before latching the handle in place. “So get a different one? With whatever your craft is .” “Going to school for it,” the barista says quietly. “We can’t all be blessed with good fortune like your highness.” Revali stops and stares at Link as he pulls the shots of espresso and begins to pour them into the cup he’s selected. His father had often told him about how delightful and charming the staff at this cafe were, but this barista is. Very much the opposite of what he was expecting. “What on earth is your problem? I came back here to apologize for yesterday, and you’re giving me a hard time. Your cashier did, so why can’t you? Here I am, letting you make another drink for me, I even left you a few extra dollars -- that’s what motivates you, isn’t it? Tips? -- and you’re still being rude to me. I don’t understand.” Link sets the drink upon the bar, and slides it toward him. “You’d like to know?” Link asks quietly, as he wipes off the steam wand. “I would.” Revali insists, taking the drink almost with some aggression in his gesture. Link smiles and reaches out to place a lid on top of the cup for Revali. “I just don’t like you.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Honestly, Dad, I don’t understand why you like that place so much. Just go to Starbucks. At least there’s consistency in what they have and they don’t give you the run around like that little shitshow.” Revali snorts as he sits in the oval, leather chair in his dad’s office, swiveling about on it, staring down what he concludes to have been the worst drink he’s had in his lift. He’s set the drink on the desks edge instead of throwing it out. He wants to make sure everyone in his fathers office can taste what a nasty piece of work they gave him. He wants to make sure everyone hates the place and will never go there. Not even for black coffee. “I probably set your expectations too high.” his father says as he spins around in his seat. Barty is a portly man with bushy eyebrows and a scruffy looking beard. A rather scholarly look to him. He doesn’t appear to be the sort of man who is running a business such as this. It might appear to be just a local trading firm, but they have connections worldwide. It started small. Just assisting in the delivery of goods and services to local businesses. But over time, and with investments in the right fields, their connections spanned globally. And Revali is about to inherit this business. At the front of his desk, a few inches from the abandoned latte sits a placard: Barty Kaneli. He leans over the desk and snatches up the coffee that his son has since abandoned and taken a sip from the lids edge. Revali waits. He’s waiting for that look of absolute disgust to wash over him, proving he was right. He can feel himself smirking, knowing all too well that the bratty barista at that cafe did him wrong -- “Possibly the best I’ve had in quite some time.” Barty says warmly as he opts to keep the drink for himself. “Link, that barista -- the best they have you know. Remember when I came down with the flu last year? The boy figured out a tea drink for me that took away the burning in my chest. It’s a shame he’s not planning on staying there after school. He makes a fine drink. Could probably open his own cafe if he wanted. The boy did say it’s crossed his mind.” Revali was stunned. Mouth agape and eyes open wide, he leans forward in his seat, sputting in disbelief. “There’s no way he talked to you.” He snorts, as he relaxes himself. He doesn’t want to come off as losing his cool. Not in front of his own father. “He barely said a word to me, and the entire time he was cold. And rude. And I don’t deserve to be treated the way he treated me.” “He’s a hard nut to crack, Rev.” Barty said as he opened his desk, retrieving some sort of document he needed to have his secretary deliver to be edited. But he’d do that later. He had a coffee to enjoy, albeit a cooled down one. “He’s very protective of his coworkers. Told me since moving out here, they’re all he has.” “Oh come on !” Revali bursts, arms thrown in the air. “I couldn’t get the guy to say anything to me! He just gave me attitude!” “Like I said, hard to crack. He’s a bit like your brother-in-law.” “Teba?” He stifles a laugh. “Oh no, no, Teba’s just stubborn. This kid was just bitter.” “And so is Teba. And I’ve still accepted his wishes to marry Saki.” Revali rolls his eyes, and for a brief second, his father is looking at his son as a six year old boy all over again. “Revali, I’m saying, you’re not giving him a chance. He makes a good drink, and my tastes happen to not be yours. Go back in. Apologize for your behavior,” Revali opens his mouth to protest. “Don’t try to defend yourself to me, boy. You know as well as I do that you have quite the attitude. I raised you to anticipate the best from others, but to expect and respect their struggles. Seems you’ve forgotten the other part as of late.” “I’ll respect him if he doesn’t give me a hard time.” “Then I’m afraid he’ll continue to give you a hard time.” Barty takes a sip of his drink, a bit unhappy that it’s gone a bit cool. But it’s to be expected. Revali had ordered the drink over an hour earlier and even with the extra-hot temperature, it was still going to reach its cooler points by this time. “You cannot expect everyone to be nice to you and bend over backwards to please you if you don’t treat them with kindness. I didn’t build this business stepping on the lives of others. It’s rare you find lines of work like mine that aren’t founded on the principles of common decency. I should hope you would know that. Anyone who can’t follow these morals likely doesn’t have a place here.” It’s then, that it makes sense to Revali. What this peptalk is all about. It’s not just his father being a father and lecturing his son. It’s a boss, reprimanding his employee. Revali grips his hands on to the arm rests of his seat and sits himself upright, a brow quirked in inquiry. “Are you telling me that I don’t have a place running your business?” His voice is sharp, perhaps even cold. “Something similar, but not quite.” Barty says quietly. “I’d like for you to become more humbled before I simply turn this position over to you. Part of this line of work has been learning about what people need, and what people endure on a daily basis. Just because you have very little to work for,” He feels himself cringe. His father just inadvertently insulted him. “Doesn’t mean that others don’t have to suffer through every day to make ends meet.” “Maybe because he’s going through shit, he should at least have the sense to be nicer to people for how he acts.” “Consider that he’s overworked, Revali. Consider that he may not sleep a lot. May not eat. Might be failing his courses. Consider that he’s working hard, and nothing is coming of it.” His father takes his drink and turns around in his seat, essentially dismissing his son. “At the very least: apologize.” And so. Revali is left. Staring dead ahead at that barista, whom he’s been told to consider his struggles. His workload. His life . The barista whom he offered an apology to. The barista who went out of his way to make Revali a damn drink of his own choosing. (Okay so Revali asked him essentially to come up with it on the spot). And he’s announcing rather confidently his dislike of him. “Well,” Revali says, before he can bring himself to take a sip of the drink which he feels is going to taste terrible now, just because of the taste lingering in his mouth. “If that’s the case.” He inhales, briskly through his nose. “I’ll have to keep coming back here until you change your mind.” He turns. Says not another word, and heads out of the cafe. He doesn’t let the door slam. Doesn’t leave with a huff. But in his mind, he’s screaming. What a completely selfish, bratty, rude guy. Here he was, coming in to offer an apology and it gets thrown back in his face! What the hell was his father thinking. He showed the guy some respect, and he’s still treated with coldness and near silence from the kid at the bar. (He had to be a kid. No adult would be that rude.) (He...did say he was in school right? Revali could barely hear him.) He wants to tear out his hair but instead, he composes himself. A few people have slowed down as they pass him, seeming to be clued in to his irritated aura. He needs to calm. Be zen. Find himself a better state of mind. That’s what people do. They overcome the negative emotions by thinking positive. And that’s all he had to do. Visit his father again today, tell him he apologized and lie a little. Say everything went well. He takes a sip of his drink finally, and concludes that, well. His father might be right. It reminds him of hot chocolate. He can hardly taste the coffee in the drink, as he’s momentarily lost in the flavor of chocolate, coconut and caramel. Revali’s surprised to admit he likes the taste of coconut in this drink. It’s smooth and bright as it swirls with the blend of flavors that he’s discovered. Alright. So the kid can make a good drink. Then again. Revali usually sticks to plain coffee, loaded with milk and sugar. He doesn’t know what a good latte is in the first place. He’s calm, he decides as he lowers the drink from his mouth. “Dad doesn’t have to know. I can tell him I apologized. Things went well. And I have learned to respect the kid. I never have to go back there if I don’t want to. I’ll be a fuzzy memory to them. I won’t have to see them. They won’t have to see me.” “You don’t just learn how to be humble after a single apology.” Barty says as Revali internally begins to throw a tantrum. “Being civil with people in a different working class isn’t a single time lesson. It’s not just saying you’re sorry to end an argument. It’s a life change.” For what it’s worth, it’s become clear to Barty Kaneli that Revali knows what his game is. He absolutely will not leave this company to his son acting the way he is. “Oh come on, dad! You know I’m a good guy! The girls there accepted my apology and were really welcoming to me, so what’s the deal?!” “The deal is that if you’re going to treat cafe employees with such aggression upon first meeting them, and only making up for your shortcomings after being scolded by your parent , then how am I to expect you to treat your employees and business partners with respect?” He couldn’t believe himself as he heard himself speak. “Well, because money’s involved.” And he stops. He watches his father lean back in his seat, arms folded upon the desk. A knowing smile rests upon his lips, nodding. “That’s exactly what I thought.” Smile fades, replaced by a forlorn expression, eyes downcast as he searches for what to say. “I raised you too long in a business world. While profits are ultimately our goal in this sort of environment, Revali. I pride myself on putting my employees before profits. Each and every person who works for me has a life. Has goals. Dreams. Ambitions. And if you can only see your workers as monetary figures, then I’m placing this company in the wrong hands.” Revali is silent. He knows what’s going to be said next. “You still have a few years before I’m due to retire. I know the plan had been to leave this company both to you and your sister, but she’s proven to me that she has my best interests in mind for this job. Not just in recent years, but over the course of her life. I should expect you to make some kind of turnaround in the next year or so, if I’m still to consider you my heir to the business.” Revali swallows, his throat feels thick as he stands, lifting his drink from the desk. “I understand, father.” He admits, the harsh words cutting into his reality. “I’ll, I’ll see myself out then.” “What did he make you?” Barty follows up as Revali begins to head for the door. “Some sort of hot chocolate coffee thing. With caramel and coconut in it.” He answers, looking at the cup and the weird scrbbles on the side. “S’pretty good.” “Ah, sounds like a mocha with a little extra.” Barty adds. “You don’t even like coconut, what’s with the change of heart?” “I said barista’s choice when I went there this morning.” He says, trying to decipher the letters on the paper. “I don’t know, it’s pretty good though.” Barty smiles, it’s a fond one. Not the smile of a boss to an employee but a father to a son. “Bring me mine next time you stop by, will you?” And Revali nods, smiling back as a son to a father. His future is absolutely screwed.
10479984	Go get that Medic - And	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": null, "Characters": "RED Medic, BLU Medic, Merasmus (Team Fortress 2)", "Fandom": "Team Fortress 2", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Not Rated", "author": "by Lykanthropa", "chapters": "2/2", "completed": "2017-04-23", "published": "2017-03-28T00:00:00", "words": "9,886", "Additional Tags": null, "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Scene: LandfallAlmost the whole BLU team is wiped out. The bodies lie scattered on the entire battlefield. They were beheaded, burned, shot, and blown up.BLU Medic couldn't do much about it. He often feels so helpless. The RED team is simply much stronger than them!The only difference between this fight and all the others is that BLU Medic was not the first to be killed, but actually the last survivor.He flees over the battlefield, away from his pursuers. The REDs are like biting bloodhounds. Although their Scout has already stolen their Intel, and the RED team can be sure it's winning, they hunting Medic to send him to the team's respawn. Of course, he can just put to death himself, but his pride could not stand it. Not that the running away and hiding would be better, but still better than losing his life by the hand of the REDs.But he should have known that he cannot escape his destiny.Suddenly they stand before him. RED Medic, Soldier, Heavy and Demoman.BLU Medic brakes hard and came to a halt, breathing heavily. It takes only a look until he's encircled by the entire RED team.He looks to the right, to the left, to the front, backwards. There is no way out. Even Scout is among them, with the blue Intel on the back. He wants to mock him.How viciously they grin at him. He hates this more dazzling smile. He would rather cut it from their faces.Especially the RED Medic.BLU Medic stretches his back, lifts his head up and spreads his arms wide. If he has to die, then with a raised head. His eyes are all the time directed at RED Medic. He should know how much he hates him.The click of a gun echoes through the dead place and the world becomes black.BLU Medic awakens in the respawn. After a few seconds of the orient himself, he noticed his team colleagues. None of them had left the respawn. Why should they? A defeat can no longer be averted.“You've failed. The enemy has secured our intelligence”, the voice of the administrator bangs through the speakers.As always.“Good work, Doc…”“You want to blame ME for failing?”“No one is blaming Doktor-““I heal you! I warn you when a Spy is nearby. I even fight when it's necessary! What else should I do? Do I have to take care of everything alone?”Medic looks angry at Scout, who doesn’t seem really impressed. Engineer puts a hand on Medic's shoulder.“Scout didn’t mean that.”This seems to appease the doctor, but Scout goes on.“Strange, RED Medic manages to do that.”Medic rushes to the brat, but Demoman and Sniper can stop him before he can hit the runner.“I'll tell you why RED Medic is doing it! His team doesn't let him down!”In the room it becomes quiet. When Medic realized what he had said, he apologized.“I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. But not mine either. This ... this RED team is just too strong.”“Maybe they have a secret?”“Or they cheating.”“It’s their Medic. I'd like to see how good they are when their Medic doesn't support them.”“But what shall we do? Kidnapping him?”“That's exactly what I had thought, Sniper.”“Are you serious, Medic? Are they allowed to fight at all if they are not complete?”“Did you forget that? They had already fought against us when RED Medic had held our Spy in his refrigerator.”“Thank you for remembering me, Docteur…”“And what will we do with him?”“We hide him and wait for the next fight against the REDs. And this starts in a few days. I only want to win just once.”The team stays silent.“And? What do you say?”“But…that’s cheat.”“Heavy, you always give so much effort in battle just to lose again. Is this always going on like this?”“………”“Count me in!”“Me too.”“Mmpff!”“Everyone here wants to win.”Heavy still hesitates. It is important to the Russian that the fights are always being fair.“But it is no fair.”“Fair? Are the REDs fighting fair? How often did we have to fight against Über-Heavy? If RED were so fair, they would have given us the formula for the Übercharge so that both teams have an equal opportunity. But they don't have that because they are selfish and cowards!”Heavy understand that.“Doktor is right. RED Team is cheating coward!”“So it’s right. Let's get that RED Medic! And then I'll squeeze out his secret of the Übercharge. Let's see how arrogant they still are when we have the same strengths.”“And how are we going to do?”“Spy.”“Yes?”“You sneak into the RED Base, daze him and take him outside, where we wait for you with Snipers Van. Then we take him to our hiding place in Sawmill. This will be a cinch. If I am not mistaken, he is often alone in his infirmary.”“No problem. A blow to the neck will be enough.”“No blow to the neck! We must not take any risks. He must not die in any case.”Bad-tempered Spy takes a pull on his cigarette. “I think I already know what I'm doing, you know?”“I know that, Spy. But use chloroform. We have to play safe and are not allowed to make mistakes.”“Chloroform? Doesn’t take it minutes to get fainted? And I don’t think that Medic is doing this with himself without fighting back. Can you not just give me a syr-““No!”Spy sighs. “You should finally overcome your fear of syringes. You're a Doctor, you know?”“Maybe it's really because of our Medic that we are such a loser team” Scout whispers to Pyro.“I heard that!”“All right then. I will do it.”“I would love to be there. I've always wondered who might be stronger. Medic or Spy.”“Well, why don’t we let our Medic fight against our Spy?”“Excuse me?!”“We must know how strong RED Medic is, so that Spy knows where he stand with him.”“This is precisely why I use targeted blows on head and neck, so I don't have to bandy blows…”“I don't think he has a chance against RED Medic. After all, the guy is totally crazy. And madmen are said to have superhuman powers.”“Maybe everything will be different than you think.”“I don't care! As long as it leads to our goal. Let us return to 2Fort and wait for the evening. Then we'll hit them.”“You mean me. And I would prefer to hit. Like a professional, of course.”“Fess...”In the RED Base:“Food! Finally!”“Hold on, brat.”When the team finally sits at the table in the dinner room, Spy observes that someone is missing. He sighs annoyed.“Could someone make sure our good doctor don't starve?”“I'm going to get him" volunteers Engineer and is heading for the infirmary.Meanwhile BLU Spy was able to penetrate the RED Base. He had made himself invisible, but perhaps that was not necessary either. If the REDs do not reckon with that, then during the ceasefire.In the infirmary, Medic sits at his desk, his back to Spy. The only light in the room comes from the desk lamp, which illuminates the rear part of the infirmary only very sparsely and makes Spy almost invisible.With the chloroform-soaked rag he creeps up on the German. He had disguised as the RED Engineer. Just in case, if should Medic turn around suddenly. But he seems to be very busy with some documents anyway.Engineer grins confidently.I’m coming for you~He is sure that everything will work. However, the intruder has not reckoned with Medics doves. They sit on an elevated shelf above the desk. Spy just notices them as they begin to scream and hit wildly with the wings so that their white feathers sail through the air. Engineers head bounces up to them and then the birds bear down on Spy.“What the hell…?” cries Medic startled and jumps from his chair.Through the dove attack, Spy had lost his disguise and fought bitterly against the beaks and claws. Medic runs to the nearby wall to an intercom, presses the button and calls:“Spy in the infirmary!”“SPY IN THE INFIRMARY!” echoed Medics' voice from the loudspeakers through the base.The Mercs are still sitting at the table. Their eyes wander to their Spy. He sighs annoyed.“Not me. Idiots…”“BLU Spy!”“A BLU Spy in our base? Let us beat him up!”Scout jumps full of joyous expectation to a fight from the table and runs towards the infirmary. All follow him. Only Spy stays sitting, one hand placed on the head.What is BLU just thinking? These idiots.Medic gets his bone saw and turns to BLU Spy, a devilish grin on his lips.“Months of defeats and you still don't learn.”For Spy, there is only one way out. He cloaked. The doves immediately stopped fighting and sat back on their shelf. The danger seems to be averted. Medic is already a little disappointed that Spy is cut and run like a coward. He would have liked to have a little life in his refrigerator again...The door to the infirmary opens and Engineer comes in.“Doc! I heard your exclamation. Where is he?”Medic looks up at his doves. They don't react to Engineer, so he must be the real one. He hadn't even known his doves can see through Spy's disguise.“He has escaped. Typical BLU. Sneaking up like a coward from behind and instead of fighting, they flee.”Now the other Mercs appear.“Where is he? Where is he?” Scout waved about with his baseball. Engineer grabs the bat with his gloved hand and lowers it.“Relax, son. He is not here anymore.”“Buuhh…”“Hmm?” Heavy notices a rag on the floor and lifts it. A slight smell creeps into his nose.“It stinks.”“Give it me, Heavy.”Heavy hands Medic the rag and he smells at it.“This is chloroform… I remember. Spy had dropped something. That must have been this rag.”“Hey…! They wanted to steal our doctor! Let's crash the BLU Base!”“Just leave it be, Scout. Let us not pay attention to that. The BLUs are no threat to us.”“Still, we'll keep you in view now, Doc.”“Well…okay.”“Let's finally eat something.”“Oh? It's already dinnertime?”“If we were not, you'd be starving, lad.”“You're probably right, my friend” laughed Medic.The 8 Mercs leave the infirmary. In the corridor they meet RED Spy.“Looks like as if you ‘ad put this dilettante to flight.”“Oh yeah! You should have seen how I bashed this rat with my baseball bat!”“Spy was no longer there when we arrived.”“I see. We need to keep an eye on the BLUs. They're up to something.”“Pffft! They are losers. They can still make so many plans. They would only have success if they would be members of the RED team. Well? Well?”Scout holds up the hand for a high five. Sniper, Heavy, and Soldier respond to this gesture.“Yeah! We are the number one!”Spy takes a pull on his cigarette. “Okay, we got it. Hurry up. The food is getting cold.”The others move past by Spy. When Medic reaches his reach, he takes him by the arm. “Please wait, Docteur.”“What’s wrong?”The spy leans close to the German and whispers: “It’s a little embarrassing to me.”When the other Mercs are out of reach, Medic answers: “You don’t have to be embarrassed. What can I do for you?”“I know it's dinnertime, but I would be very grateful if you would go with me in front of the base. Before I came here, I was briefly in the fresh air to smoke my cigarette.”“Did you see BLU Spy?”“No, but I've seen something different. I've seen a shadow sneaking around Snipers Van. I think the BLUs are planning something with it.”“And you want me to come along because you are afraid to go alone?”“…if you want to formulate it this way, Docteur.”“Why don't we tell Sniper?”“No way. If really BLUs lurk and it would come to a fight, I don’t want this Bushman ‘ave the fun. During the regular battles countless killings are put into his account. That's why he's so arrogant.”Medic laughs. “Typical. But you two should finally get along well.”“I'm sure there will be no one anymore. But we should still have a look.”“Agreed. Will not be long, I guess.”“Thank you, Docteur.”“Shabby cowards.”“Spoies are inherently cowards, mate.”“Then that would also apply to our Spy?”“Naturally! This applies to all spies. Whether blue or red. Worm like snakes from behind and ram a knife in your back. And when things get tough, they make themselves invisible! These Maggots!”Sniper nods approvingly with his head. He himself was killed several times by BLU Spy with a stabbing stab in the back.“Bloody Spoies…”When the Mercs enter the dining room, they see RED Spy sitting in his seat. He is bent forward, his head resting on the table. Scout puts his fists on his hips.“Well look at this. While we are hurrying to help our Doc, the guy does not think of anything other than taking a nap. It's time for retirement home. And if the opportunity is there, we'll send our Doc right after him. Ahaha hahaha!”Soldier whacks the boy with his flat hand on the back of his head.“Did you forget that? RED Spy has followed us.”“Oh… right.”Engineer walks over to the motionless Spy and scares as he sees a knife stuck in his back. Spy does not sleep, but was killed!“RED Spy is BLU Spy!”“That would mean the BLUs had tricked us. That's impossible!”“Mmmph.”“Hey… Where is Medic?”“In the evening this place looks very lonely.”“Hm-hm.”“Spy?”“Yes, Docteur?”Medic and Spy reach Sniper's Van. Medic wants to see through one of the windows, but the curtains are drawn.“It's unusual for Sniper to place his van directly in front of the base. Usually he parks it at the side of the building. And he had that when we first arrived here.”“Then the BLUs must have moved it.”“Strange. Why should they do this?”Spy twisted annoyed the eyes. Medic stands with his back to him. He would like to stab a knife in his back...But he has to patient now. He almost has reached his goal.“I think we should take a look into the van. Fortunately, Sniper never closes it.”“………”Spy gets nervous. Medic is inspecting the van perfectly. They are now behind the vehicle. The door there seems tightly locked and nobody seems to have climbed the ladder to the roof.Does he suspect something?“I think… you need a vacation.”Surprised, Medic turns to Spy. Not only because of what was said, but because of the tone in his voice. Spy's gaze has changed. It's no longer concerned and friendly, but cold and calculating.During the rattles in Medics' head, what could not be right with Spy, he tries at the same time to figure out what he might mean by this strange sentence.On Spy's face sneaks a malicious grin. In Medic's eyes he can see the naked horror as the good doctor realizes who really stands before him.Suddenly the door of the van flies up, strong hands grab Medic on shoulder and torso and pull him inside the vehicle. It's all so fast that he does not even have time to scream or to call for help. Probably his team wouldn't have heard him anyway. Spy jumps in and slams the door shut.Medic finds himself in the company of the BLU team. It's Heavy who holds him from behind with his big hands.“Well, well. What have we got here?” BLU Medic is sitting in front of the doctor in a chair; a smile on his face. “You really stepped in our trap.”RED Medic is horrified, but he hide it.“Why trap?” he asks self-confidently. “Shouldn't I be chloroformed?”BLU Medic stops. His smile disappears. Then he turned to Spy.“Why is he not chloroformed?”“There were complications.”“What does that mean 'complications'?” the doctor mimics.“I leaked out and had to change the plan. That's why we should get out of here as fast as possible.”“Hahaha! I knew you will blow it, Spy.”“Why? He's here after all, isn't he?”“Yes, but he is wide-awake and moreover the RED team is alerted. So you blowed it.”“Pff! This was the fault of the poultry. They figured out my disguise and attacked me.”“Embarrassing. You let demonstrate yourself by a few silly doves.” Scout pushes Soldier playfully his elbow into the side. “They probably spring at him because he smells of bread.”Soldier lets his familiar laughter be heard. “Spy, our Baguette.”“So I prefer herbal baguette.”Spy tries to ignore it. “Could we leave before the RED team discovered us and beaten us into the spawn?”Soldier hit the wall behind the driver's seat several times with his fist. “Get going, Maggot!”“Okay!” Sniper calls behind the wall. “But can you stop banging against the walls?”“Shut up and do what I say, Aussie!”“Pisser…”The car starts moving.RED Medic is not worried about his abduction. The BLUs are all idiots. His stay with them could be fun. But as soon as there is a chance to flee, he will.“What are you planning with me?” he asks amused.“You think the whole situation is funny, don't you?” BLU Medic bends over to RED. “I'm gonna smash that grin from your face. Keep him well tight, Heavy, while Engineer tied him up. Let's see how fun he finds that.”Engineer looks at BLU Medic helpless.“But we didn’t take anything to fetter.”“Of course we didn't! After all, we thought that Spy will his work neat!”Unimpressed, Spy pulls at his cigarette. Furiously, Medic whipped it out of his mouth.“Stop smoking!”“Mon Dieu!”“Hahahaha!”BLU Medic looks like as if he is bursting at any moment.“Use your cable to tie him up, Engineer. And shut him up too.”The Texan loosens the cable from his waistband. Heavy fixes RED Medics arms on his back, where Engineer tied them up with the orange cable. Then he pulls out a cloth to gag him.“I shouldn't do it, if I were you.”Engineer pauses and looks for eye contact with BLU Medic.“You don’t want me to die, do you?”“Don't worry. You will not choke.”“Not just so, no. But I know a little trick how I can pump up my stomach acid. So if you don't want to sit in VOMIT you shouldn't so that.”“What? What?? What did he say about vomit?” Sniper calls from the cab. “I warn you! Don't do anything so bloody silly in my van!”“You wouldn’t dare…”“Do you really want to provoke that?”BLU Medic stays silent.“Dude, I don't want to see or smell puke! I'm getting sick now.”“Stop it now! Okay, we will not gag you. But I warn you. Don't get on my nerves.”“I have to think about that. And quite frankly you annoying me.”BLU Medic is red with rage. Scout laughs behind his hand.RED Medic must admit that he has a little compassion for him. But only a little. He will see in what he getting himself into trouble with his abduction. He will make the life difficult for the BLU team.Whatever they intend to do with him, according to this matter, they will think three times, whether they want to afford such a thing again.I'll give you what for. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Ill-tempered Spy walks out of the Respawn. He fetched a cigarette from his cigarette case, lit it, and went to the dining room, where he was killed. He just cannot explain what happened and how. He finds the Mercs sitting at the table. They look depressed. Spy hasn't a good feeling.“What ‘appened?”“Ach, there you are” Scout gripes.“Our Doc is gone.”“What gone?”“The BLUs get him.”“’ave you tried to stop them?”“Yeah, but they left with the van.”“And whereto?”“Don’t know.”“That can’t be true…” Spy is holding his head.“Hey! Who of us was killed? A Spy that be killed by another Spy. How embarrassing is that?”“And you? You were not killed. You knew the BLUs were planning something, but they were able to take Medic away! ‘ow is this possible?”“Let's stop with the mutual recrimination and concentrate on freeing Medic” Engineer suggests with a conciliatory voice.“You’re right.”Spy sits down at the table.“What are they planning with him? That doesn't make any sense...”“I think the BLUs have thousand good reasons to kidnap Medic. They see in him the main reason why they are always losing. I could imagine that at least.”“Yes, our Medic is a real professional. Not like the BLU Medic. Such an idiot. Like the rest of the team. He's almost always the first one to be killed. Hahaha!”“And not even purposely.”“Hahaha!”Spy clears his throat. “Do you forgot that our good Docteur is gone?”“What do they want to do with him? Kill him?”Again, laughter echoes through the room. Only Heavy, Engineer and Spy remain serious.“From now on I will only talk to you both...” Spy takes a big drag from his cigarette. Team Fortress 2 It's like an eternity, when the van finally stops. However, so violently that the chair, the BLU Medic is sitting on, tumbles along with him and the doctor falls to the ground. Also the rest tilts to the side, except Heavy and RED Medic. Heavy is much too massive, and since he still holds Medic, he's also spared by the effect.“Everything out!" Sniper calls out of the cab.“The hell, Sniper?!”A chuckle is heard behind the wall.Medic and Soldier are the first to get out of the van, then follow RED Medic and Heavy and the rest.The place is brightly lit by the lanterns that were set up there. Medic immediately recognized it.“Sawmill? Is this your secret base? Of all places?”BLU Medic rolls his eyes annoyed and walks straight along the road.Yes, why did they choose this place as their secret base? In Sawmill, they had suffered their worst defeat so far (even though they always have a defeat against the REDs, there was in fact a defeat that was listed as the worst. Hard to believe.) BLU Medic was thrown 5 times into the sawmill saw, where he was painfully dissected. Well, he was rather blown there, by Pyros Airblast. He was the first to dominate him after the fight was not going on for half an hour. And almost at the same time the whole BLU team was extinguished. 3 times!Oh what excruciating memories. So why did they choose this place as their secret base?BLU Medic doesn't let show anything in front of the RED Medic, but he can feel his devilish grin in his back.RED Medic laughs in his sleeve. These Dummkops. In Sawmill there are plenty of places where he can kill himself. And one of these places is the checkpoint. This is surrounded by two big buzzsaws, which turn tirelessly and move to the right, times to the left. Woe to anyone who comes too close to them.And that is exactly where they are coming by. The circular saws are active. Medics pulse is increasing. He will probably be back in the RED Base before bedtime.He directs his gaze forward and then inconspicuously backwards. Heavy is close behind him, but he doesn’t hold him anymore. His hands are tied behind his back, but he should still be faster than he. Scout is much faster than RED Medic, but he should be able to shake him off easily.He is superior to him physically. The surprise effect is on his side. None of the BLUs will guess what he's up to now. These idiots don't even take note of the circular saws. Probably they have their secret base here for a long time that they no longer perceive them.1…2…3!RED Medic is sprinting.He hears BLU Medic calling.“What the…?! WAHH! Catch him!”Medic takes a look behind himself. In fact Scout is very close to him. On his face a confidently almost amused smile. The boy thinks the old man is not a challenge.Oh wait, little boy.With all the strength that RED Medic can muster, he jumps into the air and turns around his own axis. He stretches his right leg and with a targeted kick against Scout's head, the runner is hurled to the side. One of them is hors de combat, but this action had Medic slowed down considerably. BLU Heavy is already very close behind him. He stretches out his arms already after him.It's now or never. Medic jumps the last two meters. The circular saw approaches his position. If everything goes well, he will fall directly into the steel teeth, which will drill into his flesh, shred his intestines, and then send him back to his base.That sounds wonderful! And if everything goes smoothly, he will die fast.The fall feels like an eternity for RED Medic.Suddenly large, strong hands grab him, catch him in the middle of the air. It's Heavy, who had caught him. He lifts Medic over his head to prevent him from killing himself. However, the Russian loses his balance and falls forward. With the last force he throws Medic back. He moans in pain as he falls hard on the floor, and only a short time after, sprinkle spots of blood. The BLUs look horrified as their Heavy is sawn into two parts.RED Medic is disappointed.Scheiße. That should actually be me…Steps approach him from behind and shortly thereafter he is packed and put back on his feet.Demoman wields a strong arm around his neck and turns it around. BLU Medic comes up to him. Anger tugs his face.“You bring more trouble upon us than you're even worth!”“Oh? I seem to be very valuable. After all, you are ready to die for me. Hehehe.”RED Medic makes a head movement toward Heavy.“That’s enough! Los, weiter! I warn you. Another such an action and-““And what? Will you kill me then?”“………”The BLUs and their prisoner enter the base. They had changed their position. Spy, Medic and Engineer go behind RED Medic, the rest before him. Soldier carries the unconscious Scout over his shoulder.RED Medic is still looking for a way to kill himself. No one is in sight. Well, actually there is a way. He might hit his head against the wall until a deadly blood clot forms, but the BLUs wouldn't allow it. Hold the breath? Not really.BLU Heavy approaches them. Fresh from the Respawn. He looks angry.“Leetle Doktor is to blame that Heavy was killed!”“You weren't supposed to stop me, you know?” RED Medic answers monotonously.Heavy pants with rage.“Shut your mouth!” urges BLU Medic.The doctor comes up with another idea of how he could depart this life.Provocation.But he is not sure how to work it. Heavy is very angry, but by mere words, he cannot make him to kill him. He is rather a gentle giant, who can't be provoked by anything. No matter how angry he may be.Unless…They come through a room in which various weapons are lying. All extremely deadly (though only if they lie in the right hands), but only one has RED MEDICS attention. Sasha. Heavy's absolute weakness and the absolutely deadly certainty to provoke him.When they pass by the Minigun, RED Medic boots the gun which is leaning on the wall. It bursts out loud and as expected, everyone turns around. When Heavy sees his gun lying on the ground, he fixes RED Medic with angry eyes. Not just that. They look hateful.He picks Sasha up.“Stay calm, son” Engineer tries to appease him.“Heavy must clean Sasha” says the Russian with a growling voice, turning RED Medic's back on.Only a little bit and Medic is back with his team.“HEY!”Heavy stops and turns half back to the prisoner. He grins at him maliciously.“You should keep an eye on your weapon. She is so ugly that I really get pleasure to kick her. But don't worry, she's so big and sturdy, I can go a bit harder, right? She will bear it.”Heavy's canthus twitch. Spy press RED Medic a hand on his mouth.“Be quiet already!”But too late. Heavy whirls around, holding the minigun firmly in both hands. The barrel starts to rotate, the weapon howls. Quick-thinking, Spy grabs RED Medic and throws himself with him aside. To the bad luck of the BLU Medic. The countless bullets bored into his body. By this force he is thrown backwards, slips a few meters over the ground and stays lie motionless.Heavy immediately stops the hail of bullets. The entire team is mouth open. Only RED Medic is annoyed.Failure. Again.“Dude… We can kill each other with our own weapons?”Scout has become awake, but is immediately unconscious again.“It’s enough now!”Soldier drops Scout to the ground, grabs RED Medic and throws him over the shoulder.“Now you are MY prisoner! As long as you are on my shoulder, you will obey, Maggot!”“This is your own fault. Why are you marching with me through a room full of weapons?”The BLU team is silent. Medic is not surprised.Dummkops… Team Fortress 2 “They are not here too…”“Don't lose courage! That was just the second map. There are others.”“How many maps are actually there?”Soldier counts on his fingers.“103” he answers.“103? Are ya sure? Ya must have miscalculated. Recount.”“Why should we look for the Doc at all? I mean, what do they want to do with him? They cannot hold him forever.”“We find Doctor and bring him back!” Heavy growls.“And where should we look next? We have now searched in Harvest and Dustbowl. If we continue to haphazard search any maps, we will not be ready until tomorrow.”“Let's go to Ghost Fort” Soldier suggests.“I don't know if it's clear to you, knucklehead, but this is a Halloween map. These cowards will surely not hide there.”“You just say that because you're scared, Scout.”“T-that’s not true! I am afraid of nothing and no one!”“Very good. Because we will ask Merasmus for help.”“W-what?!”“Are you kidding?”“I think this might be interesting.”“What do you mean, Frenchie?”“Well, this will be the first and probably the last chance that we will see that you are asking Merasmus for ‘elp.”“It was my idea to go to him, but I never said I'll ask him for help, Maggot!”“You two should finally put aside your differences.”“NO! Not as long as he constantly threatens me with doom and damnation!”“This is probably your own fault. After all, you destroyed 'is 'ouse back then. Oh, and you broke 'is wand too.”“It was not on purpose! Except that with the wand... How do you know that at all? Damned Spy!”“See it as an opportunity to apologize. Maybe Merasmus will finally stop then ‘aunting our team now and then.”“And maybe I'll get my eye back.”“I wouldn't hope, mate. Your eye looks quite happy, so free and untied…”Demoman sighs and takes a strong sip from his bottle.They were back on their way to Snipers Van, but they were halfway stranded because they had to discuss. Heavy growls.“Enough!” He grabs Soldier and Demoman, throws them over his shoulders and clamps the rest under his arms. Then he carries his team to Snipers Van, throws them all in the rear, then sits behind the steering wheel and hits the road.Heavy is furious. Why do they all just stand around and talk when their doctor has been abducted by the BLU team? Aren't they worried? Medic would worried too. “Medic! Meeediiic! Doktooor!” “Was ist los, Heavy?” “Whole RED Team was kidnapped by BLU Team!” “Oh? Ach, their will be fine. Please do me a favor and lie down on the table. I have to try a new experiment on you.” “………”Heavy sighs. He stops right at Ghost Fort. He hopes that Merasmus will help them find Medic. And if not, then this revered magician should dress warmly. A No Heavy will not accept.After Heavy had overrun 5 maps, he finally reached Ghost Fort. During the ride he had stepped neatly into the accelerator pedal. The noise from the back of the vehicle was not to ignore.The REDs burst out of the van.“What the hell is wrong with you, Fatty? Did you want to kill us?”The team looks at Scout for a moment silently.“I'll tell you one thing, mate, if my Van got a scratch, you'll never get near it anymore!”Sniper stands chest to chest with Heavy. But the Russian remains unimpressed.“Let us look for wizard.”“Hmh… Where could Merasmus hide? Shall we call for him?”“I don't think we 'ave to go to such an effort. Soldier's presence would probably be enough to lure Merasmus out of 'is 'iding place.”“…? Where is Soldier?”They find him in the van. He sits on the bench, his arms folded in front of his chest, his lower lip pushed forward, his eyes stares at the wall torwards him (since his eyes lies under his helmet, the Mercs can only guess he's staring).“Solly, what’s wrong?”“Haha! He’s probably afraid.”Demoman pushes Scout back. “If you cannot be serious, stay here and keep your mouth shut.”“Pah!”The boy turns away from his team and looks around. He has no fear.The place is gloomy, wrapped in green mist.He has no fear…From the distance he can see the skull island. From the huge skull lights green light. Also the clouds above the map are greenish-colored.…he has no fear!A dark howling and moaning attracts the attention of the frightened Scout. A lilac ghost hovering over the checkpoint. And he looks directly in his direction.“Nnghh! H-hey, guys…”Scout tugs at Sniper's clothes. But he shakes him off. “Leave me alone, Kid.”The ghost hover over to him.“AHH! Running!”“Get out, Soldier.”“Negatory!”“Why are you bitchy right now?”A growl.“See it as an opportunity to be reconcile with Merasmus.”“Oh nooo!”“You get out right now!”“No!”“Now!”“Negative, Maggot!”Heavy has enough. He jumps into the van, who begins to wiggle heavily, gets Soldier and pulls him out.“Let me go, numb nut!”Suddenly, eerie music and a malicious laugh echo through the place.“Fools! You dare to penetrate my territory? Well then. Welcome! To your doom! Oh hello, Soldier.”Soldier folds his arms and turns away from the magician.“Yeah, yeah…”“Merasmus, we need your ‘elp.”“Oh? So the mercenaries want my help? How did I come to this honor? And if I refuse? I have absolutely no reason to help you, but enough reasons to send you to your doom! Muhahaha!”Heavy takes a step forward, takes Merasmus by the collar and pulls him down.“Wizard will help find Medic! If not, Heavy will crush you!”“You ‘ave no problem with us at all, Merasmus. You're just mad at Soldier.”“Maggot?”“You are his friends! That's why I hate you too.”“Oh? So you think that we have easier with him?” Spy approched to Merasmus, who is struggle against Heavy's grip. “We both know ‘ow hard it is to live with Soldier in one location. We share this fate.”“What are you trying to say, traitor?”Demo abstains Soldier with trouble. Spy doesn't be deterred.“Soldier will apologize to you now.”“WHAT?! Over my dead body!”While Heavy Merasmus arrests with one hand, he reaches for Soldier with his other hand and presses both together. Their noses touch.“Apologize!”“Never!”“NOW!”Soldier is growling again. It remains silent between Merasmus and Soldier. The Mercs also say nothing, wait for the Soldier to finally bear down. Scouts cries for help can be heard in the background, but no one is attach value.“…sorry…”“Louder!” Heavy solidifies his grip around Soldier's neck.“Sorry! I’m sorry! I’m very sorry! I'm sorry that I destroyed your house at that time and I'm sorry that you have to carve an existence as a ghost! OKAY?”Merasmus is silent for a moment. Then he asks with a slightly trembling voice:“Do you really mean it?”Soldier laughs childishly. “Of course not! Nincompoop!”Enraged by Soldier's words, Merasmus finds the strength to break away from Heavy's grip. His body is surrounded by a green mist that turns into fire. He looks down at Soldier with an angry look.“Feel the terror… of a raccoon!”A flash lightning strikes Soldier's position. The Mercs are blinded for a moment. The next, Soldier is disappeared.“Hey! Where is he now?”“Down here, maggots!”And indeed. A raccoon sits in Soldier's helmet.“You turned him...into a raccoon?”“In a maggot-eating raccoon! Muhahaha!”“And why a raccoon?”“Soldier likes raccoons so much. Then he shall be himself one! And now to you!”“Wait! I ‘ave a better idea.”“What would that be?”Spy recognizes his chance and tries to win Merasmus for their cause.“We are looking for the BLU Team. ‘elp us to find them and you can go on the rampage with them.”“But I don’t want the BLU Team.”“You will ‘ave fun with them. They are all scary ‘ares. We are no longer afraid of you. You just attacked us too often. We know all your tricks. But the BLUs don't. You can teach them ‘ow to fear. Well, what do you say?”Merasmus is thinking. Spy puts more affect. He waves him down and whispers into the wizard's ear:“They also ‘ave a soldier. Just imagine, it would be RED soldier and set all your magic onto ‘im. I know you can never do anything to our soldier. In a way, you still feel sympathy for ‘im, don't you?”A warning look from Merasmus.“Don’t worry. I will not tell anyone. But only if you ‘elp us.”“Who whispers, lies!” the raccoon shouts from its helmet.“SILENCE! Agreed. I will help you. Leave me a moment.”Merasmus closes his eyes.“Mmhhh… mmhhh… Yes, I can see them. They are in Sawmill.”“Sawmill? Of all places?”“Let us start.”Engineer picks up Soldier's helmet, and he recognizes that one is missing.“Where is the boy?”“AAAAAaaaaaaahhhhhh…..!”Scouts mark-shouting cry echoes through the whole place. The Mercs automatically turn to the clock. After a brief moment of waiting, it spits out the runner with a bell gong and he falls in high arch on the checkpoint, where he remain lying down motionless.“Could someone please pick up Scout, so we can finally drive?” Team Fortress 2 “Nnnghh!”“Put him down here, Soldier.”In the infirmary of the BLU Medic the doctor is rudely put down on the ground.“Thank you very much.”Soldier gives a growl and goes. BLU Medic and Spy stay.“Do I get at least a chair?”“Nix da! You cockroach stays on the ground. After all, you belong there. Miserable RED-Pack…”“And what is to happen now?”“Now?” BLU Medic takes his pencil and notepad, stands before the prisoner and looks down at him. “Now you will tell me the secret of the Übercharge.”“…that’s all? You kidnapped me so just to tell you how the Übercharge works?”“What do you mean ‘just’? Because of this Übercharge, you always win every battle! We have no chance against you at all! Pah! Your cowards could not win otherwise, right?”RED Medic stares incredulously at the BLU Medic.“Wait what? Do you try to tell me that we are cheating?” RED Medic is getting angry. “Now listen to me, you wannabe Medic! It's not my fault that you don't have the necessary expertise to support your team! It was just my decision to upgrade my team-mates to create the Übercharge. If you don't come up with such ideas, that's not my fault. Apart from that, we would win without the Übercharge too.”It remains silent in the infirmary. Spy stands somewhat apart and observes the situation interested.“Honestly, if you had asked me for advice, I would have gladly helped you.”“What?!” BLU Medic is perplexed.“You should have just asked me. I would have even helped you with the operation. We don't need to be a step ahead of you with all might, you know?”“Er… I… Moment! Operation?”“Of course. You have to cut open your team mates, take their hearts out of them and...”“Stop!”From BLU Medics face the color has faded. RED Medic cannot help but laugh at it.“Ach ja, richtig. You're suffering from hematophobia. You're afraid of blood and injections. Oh ever. And since you want to believe that clones are actually perfect.”“Hematophobia is the 'morbid' fear of blood. It's not so bad with me! I'm not fainting. At least not anymore... Uh ...!” BLU Medic balks. “What did you say? Clones?”“Well, have a look at you. We are as alike as two peas in a pod. Do you think this is normal?”“…no. But that doesn't mean that WE are clones! Just what are you thinking who you are?”“I remember my childhood and where I come from. You too?”“………”The anger lets the color return to BLU Medics' face. “This is a completely different story!”Poop.“Hmh?” BLU Medic reaches into his hair. There he touches something. Then he looks up at his doves.RED Medic shakes his head amused.“Not even your birds have respect for you. It hit you hard when Spy told you that my doves defended me, right? They'd never do such a thing for you, would they?”BLU Medic is fighting hard, not losing control of himself. Threateningly, he points to the RED with his finger.“We will…talk about…this later…”Then he turns around and leaves the infirmary.Spy remains a moment, inspects Medic, and smokes his cigarette. Then the Frenchman is about to leave, too.“Kill me!”Spy stops abruptly and turns back to Medic very slowly. On his face a wide smile. You can see that he very enjoys this moment.He approached to Medic, kneel down before him and answers:“Later.” He blows the cigarette smoke in his face. “Maybe.”Annoyed, Medic turns his head aside.“You like it, don’t you?”“Immensely.”Spy goes over to the double door. There he turns round again. “Now we're quit.” Then he leaves and RED Medic remains alone.He waits a moment, and then, with the help of the wall in his back, he levers up himself on the legs. Fortunately, the BLUs have not thought of tying his ankles. But they had thought of one thing; there is not a single instrument in the entire operating room. No scalpel, no drill, not even a pair of pliers.Or does it usually look like this? That would at least make sense. After all, BLU Medic is suffering from a blood phobia.“………”However, RED Medic does not give up the search. But he stays inside the infirmary. It would be too risky to get out with tied hands. When they discover him, he sits on the ground faster than he would like.Why do they leave him alone at all?When he still looks around the room for a chance to get rid of his shackles, the doves suddenly dart at him.“What the…?”Bzzz!Medic gets a light electric shock. The doves hack on Engineer's power cable, with which he is tied up. As in the madness, the birds chop up at it again and again. Medic not only gets damage from the permanent electric shocks, but is also hurt by the beaks.The doves also are not spared from electric shocks. But they get over it as nothing. Finally the power cable is broken and falls to the ground. The doves sit back on the ceiling lamp. Every now and then some of them twitch, while the crackling of the stream is heard.Medic rubs his wrists and looks up at the birds.“Well, you seem to have done this many times, huh? I also have a dove who likes to dig through intestines. I bet you'd would get along well with Archimedes. I have to go now. Please be nice to your owner. He is okay.”“Coo~”Medic smiles.He's now heading towards the exit. But he barely steps out of the room, suddenly the BLU Heavy comes around the corner. Both are freezing for a moment, then the Russian rushes at him with an angry outcry. Medic moves back into the room, grabs the holder of both doors, and slams them shut. He hurried to the operating table and rolled it in front of the double door. This will not stop this bear of a Russian, but maybe Medic can win a bit of time.He looks around frantically, discovering a ventilation shaft, sideways above BLU Medics desk.He jumps on the table, has to stretch a bit to get to the grid. Fortunately, it's easy to remove it. With a courageous leap, Medic moves into the shaft. He can hear it banging and clattering behind him. Heavy is in the room!As fast as possible, the RED member tries to crawl away from the opening, but he does not come far.In front of him in the narrow shaft stands a raccoon before him.“What the…? Wild animals lurking into the base? Ha, so BLU Medic probably got his doves.”“Don't stare at me, maggot!”“…Soldier?”“That's how it looks.”“How did you become a raccoon? By science? Interesting.”“By magic.”“Ach so… So not interesting. Wait… Magic? But the only one who has this ability is...”“That's why we could find you. And now let's go. I want to be back to my human form.”“So I find you very cute.”A threatening growling.“Haha! All right, all right. Thank you for coming for me. I thought I had to kill myself.”“No Maggot is left behind!”“Wouldn't you saying soldier? No soldier is left behind?”“Jarrr…”Soldier turns around in the narrow shaft to leads Medic out. This one already sees himself in freedom when suddenly he feels a powerful grip around one of his ankles.Heavy! Medic had completely forgotten him!Quick-thinking, he grabs Soldier's ringed tail and they are both pulled out of the shaft with a strong hitch.Upside down RED Medic hangs in front of BLU Heavy, who looks anything but enthusiastic.“Heavy has caught leetle Doktor!”“Just look what I caught.”Medic holds up Soldier by his tail and he attacks immediately. His sharp teeth bite into Heavy's arm. The Russian screams loudly and lets Medic fall to the ground to fight with the raccoon.RED Medic uses the chance and runs out of the infirmary. He can hardly believe it when he sees that his entire team is here. And each of them fights against his copy. However without any weapons. No explosions, no shots are heard. Shall no one be killed?Well, all right. Main point, I'm coming out of here finally. At least I don't have to kill myself with all my power anymore. Hah, excised now, where I have free track…Suddenly RED Medic is grabbed from behind. A strong arm wraps around his neck and his left arm is fixed on his back.“So what have we got here?” BLU Medic steps in front of RED. Although his team is tracked and fought, he smiles.“What?” he asks. “What are you grinning about? Don't you know you lost?”“I do. I realize a defeat when I get one. But before I die I will see you die. Soldier.”Firmly in his grip, BLU Soldier drags Medic toward the moving giant buzzsaw.“Wait what?! First you want to drive me into suicide and when that didn’t work, you want to kill me now with all violence?”“To drive you into WHAT? Fess! Bring it to a close, Soldier!”RED Medic is lifted high in the air. They stand directly in front of one of the buzzsaws.“Position him so that he does not die immediately, hehe. W-wwahhhh!”Now BLU Medic is lifted in the air - by RED Heavy.“Let down Heavy's Doktor!”BLU Soldier is paralysed of this outcome of the situation. This makes Heavy angry.“NOW!”“Let him down! Let him down!” implores BLU Medic.Soldier obeys, and only a moment later RED Medic stands firmly on both legs.“Thank you, Heavy. I knew you wouldn’t let me down.”“We are team, Doktor. Like family.”“Yes, that’s true. You BLUs could take a page from our book.”“Pff! Preferably I'd like to cut you into whole slices…”Heavy lifts BLU Medic higher; threatens to throw him into the buzzsaw.“T-then do it! Kill me! This shame is unbearable!”But Heavy doesn't. Instead he lets BLU Medic down. He looked surprised at the Russian.“Heavy will not kill the Doktor. We do not fight regularly. And Doktor looks like Heavy's Doktor...”“………”“Besides we have plan for BLU.”“What kind of plan…?”“Soldier!”BLU Soldier flinches as the thundering voice of Merasmus echoes through the place. A bilious green cloud forms before the Mercs and the magician hovers in front of them in the air.“Just how did you get him to help you?”Medic and Heavy stand a bit apart and watch Soldier and BLU Medic tremble in front of Merasmus.“We are no longer afraid of him.”“I think I understand.”“Welcome to your doom, RED Soldier!”“I’m not RED-““S-soldier!” BLU Medic stares at Soldier in disbelief. The soldier looks down and frightened. His blue jacket had changed the color to red.“I-I’m not RED!”“Do you want to tell me that I cannot distinguish blue from red?” Merasmus dark laughter makes the BLUs wince. “Let's get the rest of the team and have some fun!”“WWAAAHHHHH!”For half an hour now, the entire RED team sits outside the base in Sawmill, watching Merasmus terrorize the BLU team with his horror magic. Soldier is his special victim, that's why his cries are louder and more often to hear.“It's kind of fun to watch, but don't we want to go back to our base? I mean, it's long since sleep time.”“Not yet, Demo. I still have to ask Merasmus for a favor.”“What are ya up to, Doc?”“I will fulfill the BLUs a long-awaited wish.”“Why should you do that? Did you develop feelings for these losers during your captivity?”“Just trust me. Engineer, I need your help when it's time.”“Ya can count on me, Doc.”“MAGGOTS!”All eyes are on Soldier in his raccoon form. He had dug all the time in the ground, and now found some maggots, which he all hoard into his helmet.“Disgusting…”“Shut up! This is my dinner!”“Yeah, then eat them. You just stare at them.”“I cannot eat them yet! I have to wash them before! I'm a RACCOON.”“Don’t be like that. Overcome your instinct and get away with that dumb animals before I get terribly sick.”When Soldier doesn't react, Scout reaches for his helmet with the intention of throwing the maggots away. Soldier hisses, bares his teeth and snaps at his hand. The boy pulls away, staring at the raccoon.“Dude! Do you have rabies or what? Doc, you have to euthanize him!”“Calm down, boys.” Engineer stand up. “I’ll be right back.”“And where does he want to go now? Geez…”“Ah! Merasmus! Wait! Can I speak to you briefly?”“Aha. The man of science, for whom this theater takes place here.”“Don't act as if you don't have fun.”“In fact, the blue team is very amusing. What do you want? Did you finally realize that magic is above science?”“Hahahah! No. Really. No. Science is something hand-tight. Magic, on the other hand, is only a series of pocket games tricks. Nothing but illusions.”“You fool! You think that's an illusion?”The green mist around Merasmus turns into flickering fire, Monoculus and the Horseless Headless Horsemann encircle the team, but the Mercs remain calm.Only Demoman is lightly sentimental.“Left eye… Is that you?”“Save that for the BLU team, Merasmus.”The magician sighs defeated. “Come on, go and scare the guys over there.”Monoculus and the Horseless Headless Horsemann do what Merasmus commands.“Wait!”Demo wants to run after Monoculus, but Heavy holds him.“Here, drink a bit, mate.” Sniper puts a bottle of rum in his hand. Immediately he takes a strong sip.“Thanks, lad…”“So what do you want from me, man of science?”“When you are finished with your haunting, can you drop them into a deep sleep?”“Without ever waking up again?”“No! They have to wake up again. But only after I'm finished with them.”“Why do you bother with these weaklings at all?”“Probably for the same reason you are bother with us.”“I see.”“Besides, we would otherwise be unemployed.”“Whatever.” Merasmus is about to go.“Wait!”“What next?” Merasmus is slowly becoming impatient.“What about me?”“What do you mean, Soldier?”“Change me back!”“No, don’t do it!” Scout calls. “Otherwise he puts his finger back in his nose again. We must keep him from that.”The raccoon demonstrates that he doesn’t have to be a human to do that. His tongue tip wanders in his nose.“Oh, yag! Okay, change him back…”“Why should I? You seem to have resigned yourself with your role as raccoon.”“Merasmus…” Medic gives the magician a warning look.“Don't have a cow. At sunrise my magic becomes ineffective and then you look like as before.”“Why just don't you change me back immediately?”“Now? After you've worked so hard for your food?”“Hm… That’s true…” Soldier says with a look into his helmet, where the dozens of maggots bend and twist.“If you would excuse me now.”Merasmus disappears before their eyes.“Maggot…”Scout reaches out for Soldier and caress over his furry back. The raccoon snaps at him.“Stop it!”“Easy. I just wanted to pet you. Maybe you like it.”“I’m not a pet!”“But you keep raccoons as pets.”“I may that!”Engineer is back. He no longer carries his yellow protective helmet on his head, but holds it in his hands.“I brought ya water.”He sits down to soldier. Soldier is delighted.“Thanks, Engie!”Immediately, he takes off a maggot from his own helmet with his paws and immerses them in the water in Engineer's helmet. Then he eats it.Scout turns away in disgust.“Eww!”“Maggots are perfect protein suppliers, scout. This is how your muscles grow.”“C’mon, Doc! Cut the crap!”“And they are juicy and very tasty” adds Soldier.“O-okay… Then I do it!”Scout reaches for the maggots, but the raccoon scratches him.“Ow! What’s the matter?”“Find your own!”“Hmpf!”Merasmus teaches the BLU team for a long time the fear. Just when it's slowly get light, he disappears. But he had kept his promise and sent the BLUs into a deep sleep.Demoman, Sniper, Pyro and Scout are sleeping. And even the raccoon soldier, after he had finished eating, had curled himself up in his helmet, which took the engineer his lap.Medic straightened his glasses and rise from his place. “It’s time. Are you ready, Engineer?”“Yeah, Doc.”Gently, the engineer sets Soldier's helmet on the ground and stands up.“What exactly are you going to do now, Docteur?”“I will do with them what I have done with you. I will upgrade their heart and Engineer will rebuild BLU Medics Medigun so that he can übercharge his team.”“Why should you do this?”“That was exactly why they kidnapped me. And we really don' have to need to let us call cheater. And so both teams will be on the same level.”“Doktor is good Doktor. Is fair.”“Thanks, Heavy. And who knows? Maybe the battles will be more challenging.”“But not that will be become the habit. Because I don't believe that BLU Medic will ever overcome his fear of blood and innards.”“Miracles happen again and again.”“But Docteur, you are really the last one who believes in miracles. After all, this is not science.”“You caught me, my friend.”“If ya want, ya can go back to the base and pick us up here later. I think we'll need a while here.”“Agreed.”“Oh, Heavy. Before I forget, would you stay with us? Some of them we will not be able to lift.”“Of course, Medic.” Team Fortress 2 When BLU Medic awakens, he finds himself in his bed. He looks around in surprise.“What the…?”He gets up and goes over to the infirmary room. There he sees a video tape on his desk. He hesitates for a moment, but then pushes it into the VCR.RED Medic appears on the screen.“Hallo! Surely you ask yourself what this is. I explain it to you. I've done you and your entire team a favor. Have you already seen your Medigun?”BLU Medic looks around for his Medigun. It stands where he always places it. In fact, it looks slightly changed.“Engie was so nice and changed it a bit, while I've been taking care of you. Maybe you can feel it in your left chest.”BLU Medic touches the mentioned chest and breathes automatically deeply in and out.“I have upgraded your heart. It has not only become stronger, but becomes invulnerable with a touch of the medi beam for a short time. In other words, you are now able to activate the Übercharge. No no no. It's alright. You don't have to thank me. I've fixed the operations on tape. Just in case you want to know how it works.”Then pictures appear on the screen, letting the BLU Medic freeze. They lie there, with their chest open, while RED Medic shoves a device with steel needles into their heart.The world becomes black.“Well, surely you are now lying fainting on the ground, but let another thing be said to you. YOU ARE THE CLONE! Ahahahaha !! Come on! Engie, Heavy! Wave. Okay. See you on the battlefield. Until then, you can practice the Übercharge. I hope you don't disappoint me...”
10436445	Majordomo	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "Gen", "Characters": "Jupiter Jones, Caine Wise, Diomika Tsing, Advocate Bob (Jupiter Ascending), Original Characters", "Fandom": "Jupiter Ascending (2015)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by xiorlanth", "chapters": "2/?", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-25T00:00:00", "words": "5,886", "Additional Tags": null, "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "Paths", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	She had declined to go back with her mother and aunt after their last cleaning job of the day, and paused at a bistro for a cup of coffee. It was an indulgence, but she’s learning how to want things for herself. Captain’s orders, even. Or advice.“When I took my gap decade between Legion and Aegis, I had to learn how to use money.” the captain had said. “I believe you are in the same position of being unfamiliar with such liquid resources as I was. There is a difference between failing to use your resources wisely, and failing to use your resources. And you need to learn the difference.”Baby steps, she thought. Baby steps. Anyway, all she had to her name on the planet currently was the five grand from Vladie’s scheme that nobody had turned up to claim back.She had been working on the sheaves of intergalactic laws and her properties listing, but even abbreviated lists are too long to manage on her own. And she wasn’t sure that she should let someone from Abrasax Industries manage her. “Captain Tsing, can you take me to Orus again?” she had asked. “Or at least point me out to some non-shady transport companies-- there has to be ships for hire or something.”“I am still on escort duties to you, your majesty, and would be happy to escort you personally or any ship you choose to hire to Orus.”Diomika Tsing answered."Why? I mean, you've completed your mission, right?" she asked.The captain had looked at her intently, and asked if she would ever let earth be harvested."No! Never!" she said vehemently. "Earth and my other planets aren't going to be harvested, ever." "And that is why my ship is seconded to you for the foreseeable future, your majesty. There is a hard threshold before a harvest is no longer allowed on developed worlds. No new world have passed that threshold in this region for eight thousand years, and the last was also a recurrence-held planet. The Commonwealth and the Aegis is very interested in your safety," Captain Tsing said.The scrape of a chair snapped her out of her thoughts. An elegantly-suited man claiming the seat in front of her wasn’t strange, given that they were in one of the more expensive districts of the city, but he wasn’t carrying any beverage. He had, instead, a small box he put onto the table and with one hand slid it across to her. She ignored the jewelry box raised an eyebrow at the man in front of her. “I don’t know what you think I am,” she said--“I know exactly who you are, your majesty.” the man answered.She fought for the puzzled look she trained on the man. “I have no idea what you are talking about.”The man had a very slight smile and a nod, “And it would be wise to keep it that way on this planet for a while. But in the next times you make it to Orus, keep this with you. Your Legionnaires may both be trusted with that knowledge. But do keep it from you Aegis escorts. The Lady Seraphi invested a lot into your creation, it would be an utter waste should your claim be considered invalid.”The man’s eyes hardened as he emphasised the word ‘creation’. A created copy isn’t an eligible recurrence. That had been made very clear at some point before. She sat back and glared. “I am a random chance.”“So you were, and became eligible to claim your inheritance from her,” he answered baldly. “A lot of chances and missed chances,” the man soured. “You have no idea how frantic it was when midgard began its industrial age.”The man rose, bowed and disappeared into thin air in her moment of surprise. She blinked at the empty air in front of her, before looking down at the box that was her only proof of the encounter.A locket of red, with a chased motif of lotus in gold nestled within.Orus on her second look was still breathtaking in an unfamiliar way. Step One; find out where her money are.The finance counselor office’s line is six hour deep.“Do we have to use the government services?” she asked. “Are there private practices?”Advocate Bob smiled uncertainly. “There are, your majesty. But my services are limited to government run offices.” “Damn.” she said. “I could point out where independent advocates could be hired or purchased,”“Purchased?” she growled.“The contracts, of course.” Bob answered.“How did my...case ended with you that first time?” she asked.“The system assigns cases on a queue. Yours is my second major case.” Advocate Bob burbled. “The cases are assigned according to experience level, I was surprised. Entitled cases are senior first class advocates and above, though usually they bring their own advocates and lawyers.”“And what class are you?”“Novice third class,” Advocate Bob promptly answered, beaming. She stared at the advocate someone had set up to fail her, took a deep breath, held them for a count of ten, and opened her eyes again.She really need help, but she wouldn’t even trust Kalique right now, let alone any of the assorted members of Abrasax industries and distant relations. Add to her long to-do-list: Find out who set her up to fail the first time.His client had her eyes closed and was counting down under her breath. He shuffled along the line as it moved slightly.Her eyes snapped open. “If I buy your contract, can you handle the private financial offices?”“Yes,” he answered truthfully. The knowledge is in his information module.“Can I buy your contract?” she asked.“My contract are available for purchase,” he answered.“No, no, no,” Jupiter stopped him. “Would you like me to buy your contract?”He paused. “Service with an entitled is considered a desirable posting,” he tried-“Do you desire it?” his client asked. “Yes,” he answered. “But full disclosure requires me to tell you that to offer such services would require certain financial modules that are not currently installed.”“Can you get the upgrade?”“I don’t have the resources required at the moment,”“Let me paraphrase that. If you can use my resources to get those upgrade, would they be available?”“Certainly,” Bob answered. “But such access would first require the services of this office.”She looked down the hundreds-deep queue, looked behind her at the imposing bear splice that had taken the position behind her, and the arrival of more people to join the queue, and sighed.“Hi, I’m Jupiter Jones. What’s your name?” she asked.One access to Seraphi’s restored personal accounts, check. Full access to properties deeded to Lady Seraphi’s recurrence, check. Preliminary access to properties and holdings from Balem’s invalidated inheritance due to matricide, check. One legal advocacy bot’s contract purchased, check. One advocacy bot ensconced in various module upgrades, check. One private message, filed with the public wills and trust office to be given to her with alongside the access to the personal accounts, check.One innocuous looking sheave containing the personal message, red enamel decorated in chased golden lotus relief and waiting for her seal to unlock it.“Are you going to look at that?” Caine asked.“I will,” she answered, and kept eating. Four separate queues used up a lot of energy. She’s even beginning to get used to standing in line for hours at a time. In front of her Ursula was gulping in platefuls at a time. She tried to contrast the amount of food with the fact that the bear splice was in the financial office to try for some assistance after being swindled out of her legion pension and decided that she was right to take the splice in. “What?” Ursula snapped at her.“I’m trying to figure out if you go into hibernation. Do you?” Jupiter asked.“Sure,” Ursula answered. “A specialty of the Ursid splices. Stasis units can be found. We can be dropped into position in advance and hibernate until it’s time, and then your enemy count is skewed because there’s more ground troops on the line.”“Really?” Jupiter asked. “That...wasn’t the answer I was expecting.” “Why not?”“It seemed like a liability, having to hibernate,” Jupiter said.“If you can’t control it, sure. Fars De’so, that’s our splicer, takes pride that he’d eliminated the environmental triggers. Hibernate only when we decide to do it, that’s us. Too bad I made a bad decision about that,” Ursula growls.“Oh?”“Invest my pension, go to hibernate, wake up in three months for the interest.” she growled. “They specifically targets ex-legions like us, and disappeared when we woke up. Probably have run away to one of the other mother-planets.”“Mother planets?”“Orus is the oldest, the original human planet. It became the capital for this region of space. The Abrasax family is very old, so almost all of your legal matters are handled on Orus, your majesty,” Caine explained. “Some of the older, out flung settlements grew around other planets like Orus, new capitals, essentially. Some families on those side almost never interacted with Orus. Whoever swindled Ursula and other legions veterans, they have to get away that far, build up new identities and everything in the archive there, otherwise we, saying some members of the Legion, would have tracked anything they did here while we would have to start from scratch there. Assuming we know which mother planets.”"I...see." Jupiter said. "You're interested in going to look? Both of you?"Caine snorted. "No," he brusquely said, and tilted his head to Ursula."Not really. I would go after them if I hear any news, but your contract comes first. Now that we've completed negotiations, I can tell you that the contract is too generous," Ursula pointed her finger at Jupiter. "You need to find a manager. But if you need to hire anyone again, tell me. we'll mark it down to anyone else you makes an offer to."Jupiter swallowed her sigh. Even people she just met could tell she needs help, fast."Don't look at me. Stinger did all my contracts," Caine said. "And we don't have one right now.""You don't?" Ursula's head snapped to look at him. "You're a Skyjacker. I thought she copied your contract for mine. Why are you here without a contract...""It's. None. Of. Your. Business." she bit out. From the glance Ursula had moving between her and Caine, she has her answer written all over her face."None of my business. Got it." the bear splice grabbed a new stack of pancakes and tipped the entire bottle of honey onto it. "Do you have more honey?""I'll get it." Caine said. His eyes flicked between her and the sheave, and an eyebrow raised.She sighed again and picked up.The sheave held the contract to a storage facility.“Welcome, welcome,” the agent said. “This is one of our oldest contracts,” they waved them into a small hangar. “We inherited it during the merger or our parent company,”She tuned out the burbling history of the details to later summation by Bob and focused on the ship inside. It was a small ship compared to the Aegis cruiser, smaller still compared to Titus’ clipper.“I would say that this would be one of Seraphi Abrasax’s personal ships,” Captain Tsing said. It was clear in the Lotus details that decorated everything the entitled owned.“It’s clear inside,” Caine commed out. “There’s a console active. But it’s asking for a password to start it or for the details.”Something about the ship was familiar. It was in fact the detailings, a golden and red weave she had seen before. “Wait a moment, Caine,” she said, “I’ll be right there.”Inside the tiny, but opulent bridge, she pulled out the red and gold locket from under her shirt. A chime rang, and a sheave with a seal lock slid out, with a socket for a centerpiece. The locket fit perfectly, and with her seal she activated the other consoles. The ship came alive with the barest thrum under their feet.The flight path was highlighted in clear gold in front of them. And a note. Pack food for a week.“Welcome to the clipper Padma. I am Nalini, the ship’s presence," a female voice chimed around them.“Aegis cruiser, this is Caine Wise from the clipper Padma. We have a heading and formally requests an Aegis escort,”“Clipper Padma, please be advised that we have received and approved your escort request. Please transmit your headings on mark. Mark.”Caine and Captain Tsing ritual continued in a soft susurration of professional calm as she began searching the ship’s consoles for clues to whatever it was in front of her.“What are you thinking?” Caine asked as he shut the channel down.“Seraphi Abrasax left me a treasure hunt. Why would she do that? And we still don’t know anything about the person who left me the locket.” she said. She had not even let on the ‘creation’ commentary out to Stinger. She don’t know how serious Titus’ intention to stop the harvests on his worlds, but there’s a chance Kalique would get earth if her inheritance was invalidated, and Kalique certainly still harvest her worlds.Three days through a convoluted series of jumps, they reached an asteroid field."We have reached the edge of the Convayo Maze," Caine murmured. "No one comes here. Ships tend to disappear in this place, and no one knows why. There is a strange energy phenomenon that is still being studied. And at the other edge of the maze is the armistice with the Spirax Empire.""An empire? Not part of the Commonwealth?" "Not even a part of this universe. It is the point where two bubbles touch, in eleven dimensions. The commonwealth have been trying to find a way past the blockade forever."The red ship drifted slowly to interlock with the hidden panels on a tumbling asteroid no one would take a second look at. It was large enough to hide a decent facility, Caine judged. A dead facility or a powered down one. It was neither, as it turned out after they walked past the doors after the docking sequence finished. It was simply a huge room, heavily shielded he realised, as he looked at the industrial power sources meant to last thousands of years within, all set up to support a custom-built stasis chamber in the middle of the room. A single splice hovered within - young. Younger than even possible with Regenex, he realised. This was someone who hadn’t reached their full growth. The stasis chamber is also cycling down, the crystal within losing their slight opaque into true transparency, and the artificial gravity bubble within slowly reestablish itself alongside the artificial gravity of the main chamber as the splice floats down in a cloud of fabric and hair. The clear cylindrical top slid away to leave the splice on top of a medical bed blinking away grogginess. His eyes had latched onto Jupiter’s face, vaguely frowning as he looked at her.“Your majesty? But you’re dead,” he said. “You were dead,” he said as his eyes fluttered closed.“Post stasis exhaustion,” the medical officer aboard the Aegis cruiser said. “Letting him wake up on his own would be best. The patent markers in his gene sequence are quite old, very likely in use during her majesty’s Seraphi’s death, but there are also specific sequences that are off, quite in an unknown way, alongside a very strange markers in his biochemistry. While I cannot say why he was hidden here, he looks to be a legitimate member of her majesty Seraphii’s entourage. I see no objection to waiting for him to wake up here, or transfering him onto the cruiser or your ship.”“On the ship,” he said. “Your majesty’s ship,” he clarified at Jupiter’s glance. Now that the stasis chamber has cycled down, whatever heating that was keeping the room warm had stopped too. A stopgap measure, he knows - if the stasis chamber simply failed, the frozen room would keep it’s inhabitant alive. Alive and needing medical aid instead of recovering normally, but still alive. The room was getting noticeably chillier - it might even be actively cooled. He lifted the kid into his arm - now even younger than what he looked in stasis. “C’mon. This place is getting cold.”He put the kid in the small cabin that already have the kid’s clothing and belongings in its tiny closet - this treasure hunt, as Jupiter put it, is incredibly organised. It even had pajamas in the kid’s size originally laid out on the bed. Ursula has already been moved to the room he claimed, and he put his belongings in the room he’ll share with Jupiter. He checked on Bob, who was still on his offline rig in the cargo bay.On the bridge, Jupiter was looking at the progress bar showing the generation of a portal - to earth. Or, he looked at the details, to earth’s moon’s orbit. The ship was still auto-piloting itself through its paces. Jupiter had pulled open the container labelled food, day five and rummaged through its contents, and now have a cup of hot chocolate in her hand.“How is he?” Jupiter asked softly.“Deeply asleep. We’ll worry if it goes on for a day, but the health monitor shows everything is fine.” he answered. Jupiter had a image of her moon up, zooming around with practised ease. Seraphi Abrasax’s lunar alcazar was specifically shut down and all access barred except for her recurrence after her death. They hadn’t investigated because it had demanded a specific security code they had hoped to be found somewhere Seraphi’s vast inheritance to her recurrence. It seemed instead Jupiter had been given access in a manner her predecessor had arranged.It was hours later, with the portal path only halfway calculated, when the door to the bridge slid open behind them. The kid, wearing the clothes from the closet that was clearly his in his ease in them, bowed to Jupiter.“Your Majesty,” he murmured. “I am Zvi Kelav. Her majesty Lady Seraphi Abrasax sends her regards and her hopes for you, and myself as a majordomo to assist in this undoubtedly troubling time.”“No offense, kid,” Caine said, “but you don’t look old enough to leave the creche, let alone be a majordomo.”Zvi gave a faint smile. “I am three hundred years old. I will reach my full growth in three or more centuries. My training is complete to the time it was, and I’m very capable of adapting to this time’s requirements.”“Regenex?” Jupiter asked.“Regenex restores you to a physical age of early twenties. It won’t do anything to someone that young.” Caine growled. The kid doesn’t smell like he was lying. "Humans don't need centuries to reach full growth."“My specific gene sequences is a very rare secret, your majesty, and her majesty traded dearly for it. It will be revealed to you in due time, as her majesty’s heir. But in the mean time, would you accept my services?” Zvi asked and proffered her a sheave. “Given the length of time I had been asleep, my knowledge requires some refreshing, but I will endeavour to rise to the challenge.”Jupiter took the proffered sheave, accessing and skimming the information, frowning.Sometime after, the portal opened. Earth beckons.Some hours after that, half a dozen ships shimmered into view. The asteroid was reduced to dust to spread in the wake of ships finally on their way home. It had been a very long watch. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Donald Pearson blinked as he pulled up the checkboard in hand. Oh, he’s finished with the inventory. The stylus paused in his finger he looked at the notation over cables. Did he make sure to replace the boxes with the correct ones?An entire work crew exited the service elevator as he entered, still tapping at his email. Which makes the situation stranger as he takes delivery of more boxes at the ground level and they streamed out. “You can’t be done.” he said.“There’s a cancel order for today, just came in.” one of them shouted out.Strange. But stranger things did happen. Even if the progress charts are starting to get more amber and red. He tapped a note into his schedule. “I was going to ask a couple of you to help me get this up.” he said. “I’ll help. Jerry, you want to help out?” One of them said, and turned to raise an eyebrow at the crew leader. Tom nodded his permission, “It’s not like we have anything to do yet. They assigned us to the warehouse, but that’s two hours more, and we can get there in half an hour.”He was jacking the last pallet into place when his phone rang. “Pearson,” he said, “Yeah, I’m at the site.”“I’m coming over to look. Tom’s not answering his phone he and his crew got there okay?”“No, they all had cancel orders...well I don’t know, I just makes sure they have the stuff they need, not what their orders said, wait, a couple of the guys are still here, you want to talk to them?”He handed the phone to Zan and watched the man walked a bit away.From the way Zan stiffened up the news can’t be good. He took the phone back and shrugged at Zan’s dirty look and brought the phone to his ear.“I’m expecting another shipment, so yeah I can wait. Mm hmm, the guys too. You know I can’t call Tom back here - okay, see you soon.”The next time they trucked in another set of boxes to the level it was to familiar sounds of drills and hammers filling the air interspersed by an unusual clipped voice berating whoever it was over the scheduling conflict. “Nobody could figure out where the adjustments keep coming from.” the voice growled as he slipped his phone into his jacket, “That’s it. I’m staying right here until we figure out who keep rearranging this site’s priority. Pearson,” he shouted, ”The IT guys are sending over some equipment, can you shepherd them up when they get here?”Donald raised a thumbs up and pulled out his phone to tell building reception to expect yet another shipment. In the meantime the new guy picked up his laptop bag and walked into the partitioned off area where plastic sheets kept the dust and detritus of construction away and stopped with a section of the plastic curtain still held up by his hand.“Hey, someone’s squatting here,” he called out. He left his forklift to have a look. Sleeping bag, a mini stove, a small fridge. A table set up with various equipment. Colourful chip bags peeking out of a crate repurposed into a trash can.“How would someone even get up here?” Jerry muttered as he crowded in for a look.Blank. Waking up is a rush of awareness.The familiar ceiling brought a degree of calm. He was aboard the Padma, in his own cabin, and somewhat safe.“Good morning, Zvi, and welcome back.” Nalini chimes. “We are currently in the Convayo Maze Delta region. The ship is currently preparing to portal to Lady Seraphi Abrasax’s previous main residence. We have aboard her majesty’s recurrence Lady Jupiter Jones escorted by Legionnaires Caine Wise and Ursula Opeatrix as well as Advocate Bob. Padma is currently escorted by an Aegis Cruiser captained by Captain Diomika Tsing.”He rose and stretched a bit, gauging his body’s response. A moment later Nalini passed through a medical report - he’s been checked thoroughly by an Aegis medical officer, and yet still wakes up aboard Padma. It bodes well for the new recurrence. Speaking of which-He patted the last pieces of his usual clothes down, and sat down on the bed and set the braider to clean and put his hair in its usual style and used the stillness required to close his eyes and review all information about her that was available. Moments later, he reviewed the key informations about her personalities - the negotiations at her house, her refusal to abdicate to Balem Abrasax, the screaming fight-Balem’s admission that he killed Seraphi Abrasax, as recorded by Legionnaire Caine Wise’s tracker on Jupiter Jones.Her actions since, and the few personnel she recruited, all of whom are on board the ship. The Aegis cruiser escorting them.And then he brushed against the data link to the Alcazar and was hit by a deluge of urgent messages.Oh dear. The lady’s recurrence reviewed the sheave in record time, the seal holding the steady glow that proved a familiarity with the information flow that would be only be hard won through repeated use. “Seraphi Abrasax left you in stasis specifically to help her recurrence,” her majesty Jupiter Jones said, “specifically, me.”“Yes, your majesty,” Zvi said. “She has seen recurrences ruined by their inheritances before, and wished her recurrence to not receive the same fate.” “But I don’t trust you,” her majesty said, “And neither did I trust Seraphi Abrasax, so why would I place any of my trust in you? Especially since-” she paused, indecisive.“There are matters that we can only discuss in private, your majesty,” he agreed.Her majesty held his gaze for some moments before looking at the bear splice behind him. “Ursula, please leave. You can stay in the commissary or something,” she said.“Sure thing, Jupiter,” the splice said. The sound of her footsteps pattered away. He looked up at the other splice and back at her majesty.“Caine stays. Whatever you say can be said to him, no matter how risky it is.” Jupiter said.He weighed the resolute tone and was pleased.“Nalini,” he murmured, “ghost.”“Ghost mode activated,” Nalini chimed sweetly. “Full silence shield in effect. No recording will be made until otherwise instructed.”“Earth...is only beginning its genetic age,” he said. “You was found to be a recurrence of her majesty barely a few decades after the technology to test genetic information is widely available on your planet. It is a remarkable coincidence, isn’t it?”“I am beginning to think so,” she said. “Are you implying something, mister Kalev?”“Zvi, your majesty. Her majesty Seraphi had arranged certain insurances with her allies to make sure that there will be a recurrence on Earth” he agreed. “And am I to guess that there are certain insurances against not taking you as my majordomo too?” she asked.“No, there are not. But there are certain - benefits, as I understand it, if they were to agree to contact you, agreements they would expect you to follow as Seraphi’s heir," he said."Agreements." The tone was flat."I am not familiar with the details, unfortunately. Her former allies wished to evaluate your actions themselves before they decided whether to continue the alliance. As such, I have been kept out of the matters in regards to them. You are free to decline my contract, of course. I should however point out that before you do, there are some specific problems on earth right now that needs attention.”“Problems?” her majesty asked.“You have not been getting reports from the keepers, are you?” he smiled at her. “Balem Abrasax had the keepers control center moved to the refinery at Jupiter. They have, essentially, been working without supervision for the past few weeks. However, there is a backup control on the alcazar. The locket carries a link between here and the alcazar, so I can show you this,”He brought up a series of a few people. “These people managed to compile a series of records detailing the disappearance of one hundred thousand people on a single night,” he said, “and in between them manage to keep copies of that information moving. The keepers have blanked each of them several times, but since they keep receiving the compiled information anew, they had to be blanked,” he paused the recording and arranged them in a series of snapshots. “again, again, and again. This is the kind of decisions the refinery manager would make, only, a Chicanery Night, he had not checked in since the destruction of the refinery. Out of curiosity, would you like to pass along an instruction for the keepers? I believe a more robust recording of their actions would allow us to pick up the instances of how they manage to keep the information moving and stop the cycle.”“Actually, I would rather the blanking stop.” her majesty decided. "Full stop."“That would allow the knowledge that one hundred thousand people was harvested, your majesty.” he said. “The matter might become a cause of problem later.”“So be it.” she said back. “Stop the blanking. Let them know. Keep knowing.” She paused, "Keep the names. I want to know who they are."“So it will be.” he murmured, issuing a few orders to the keepers, and moving on to the next problem he had noted. “There is the matter of the Willis Tower where a series of blankings is also continuously administered.”“Willis Tower? Why?” her majesty asked. “Nothing happened there.”“I believe the keepers standing instructions were to hide the presence of non-terrestrial lifeforms, of whom Mr. Wise certainly is. As he had set up living quarters and his devices there, the keepers had to continually blank the workers that wandered into the area. One of keepers has slightly more initiative and is actually issuing cancellation orders to the workers to keep the blanking at a minimum.”“Caine!” her majesty exclaimed.“What, I thought the floor was abandoned. It looked abandoned.” the splice defended.“It’s under renovation, wow,” her majesty took control and zoomed around the place. “One of the highest floors of Willis Tower, and you thought the place can be abandoned. I guess you have to pack up and move to Stinger’s house or something. It’s not like we can buy the place.”“Why not?” he asked.“Why not...buy the level?” her majesty asked.“I was thinking of the tower itself, but buying the levels under renovation might be more appropriately discreet.”“But...I don’t have the money for that. Sure I have space money, but not on earth.”“It is customary for certain reserves and accounts to be created locally within any financial systems. There is more than enough funds to acquire the levels as an appropriate working space. I believe that Mister Wise’s confusion is because he is familiar with a much faster schedule for building and renovations.” he noted. “Does your majesty prefers to maintain your current domicile?” “Yes?” she answered. “Why wouldn’t I?”“In that case, such a space would be useful, I think, for your activities, and we can arrange cover for your disappearances more effectively.”“Disappearances?” she asked.He pulled up a poster with both their faces. Jupiter Jones, missing since Tuesday. Suspected kidnapper, Caine Wise.“Oh, yeah,” she said faintly. “I told mom that I would be gone for about three days. It’s been what, close to eight days, now?” Amid data streams and building plans and fake alibi and new accounts for her and Caine, Nalini interrupted.“Portal generation complete. Portal to the lunar alcazar is now open. Does your majesty wish to proceed?” it said.“Yea- wait. Didn’t you say it would take four hours?” Jupiter asked.“Four hours has passed since the last time you requested the information, your majesty,” Nalini answered.“But...all we did was...paperwork…” she glanced at the neatly arrayed documents floating around them. “A lot of paperwork.”“Captain Tsing from the Aegis cruiser is hailing. Would you like ghost mode to be terminated?” Nalini asked. “Terminate ghost mode. Caine, if you would?” she asked. “Your majesty,” he nodded, and took control of communications. The portal went smoothly, and the autopilot engaged itself again as their ship moved towards the moon. She turned to look at Zvi, and decided.“You can stay. But I’m still reviewing that contract with Bob.” she said. “And I still want to know more of what we initially discussed about.”“Very well, my lady,” Zvi bowed.“Don’t. Don’t do that,” she said. “Bowing and stuff. And call me Jupiter.”“A certain amount of decorum is expected between an entitled and her entourage, even the ones closest to her,” he demurred.“And you can do that when there’s other entitleds about. But here, with only you and me, call me Jupiter.” she said.“That is a reasonable compromise. Jupiter. But I would like to limit such familiarity to situations with your intimates presence only,” he answered. “Your majesty,” Caine said, “Captain Tsing requests, strongly, that the cruiser escort us into the alcazar.”The last time Captain Tsing failed to escort her into an enclosed space had not turn up well for all parties involved. “Sure,” she said. “Can it accommodate the ship?”“It can,” Zvi answered. A model of the alcazar formed up and its gates opened to the maximum. The projected Aegis cruiser barely fits the aperture, “it’s advised to use the automated controls.”Caine relayed the information, and she paused to listen to his voice in its glorious depth. “You allow Mr. Wise to address you...” he observed.“Caine’s different,” she answered. “Just. Different. Situation, that is. It’s fine for him,” she’s blushing. She’s blushing and Caine smiling slightly while not looking at them. Zvi’s eyes is flicking between the two of them, and she could see him filing Caine out of the bodyguard slot into somewhere else.“Very well. Jupiter,” Zvi said.“We’re ready to proceed, your majesty,” Caine said, and she blushed even more at his tone. He was playing it up.“Very well,” she sulked, and pointedly looked at the growing view of the shimmering circle the main screen was showing.Their little ship moved smoothly through the aperture and accelerated away onto a landing platform that smoothly rose into a custom dock. She had already stepped out of their ship while the bulky cruiser was still being moved carefully through a gap barely large enough for it. On the farther side of the lush valley huge pillars rose smoothly to receive the ship. From her landing deck, affording an incredible view of its surroundings, she was looking over an expanse of greenery encircling a small lake. Beautiful buildings buid up against the walls of the crater, a massive mansion the centerpiece of an arc that encircles two thirds of the walls. Zvi had pulled up some controls, smoothly directing the transports from the cruiser onto landing platforms nearby.Overhead the sky is a field of stars with the earth shining down on them. Wild growth sprawl green on overgrown banks below. Fountains burbled into waterways. Greeneries lined the pathways filling the air with a clean, fresh scent. The pathway she took grew in the intricacies of its design the nearer she moved until she reached the largest circular area, when the entire circle lit up and the water features were limned in white.“Good evening, your majesty. I am Domi, the estate’s presence.”
10413261	Something To Believe In	{ "Archive Warning": "Graphic Depictions Of Violence", "Category": null, "Characters": "Geoff Ramsey, Micheal jones, Ryan Haywood, Jack Patillo, Gavin Free, Jeremy Dooley, Joel Heymen, Griffon Ramsey, Gus Sorola, Matt Hullum", "Fandom": null, "Language": "English", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by HoneyPotAnt", "chapters": "1/3", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-23T00:00:00", "words": "944", "Additional Tags": "immortality AU, Immortal Fake AH Crew, Fake AH Crew, trans!Jack", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "ahot6, Jack Patillo/Geoff Ramsey, Geoff Ramsey/Jack Patillo/Ryan Haywood/Jeremy Dooley/Micheal Jones/Gavin Free", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "Rooster Teeth, Achievement Hunter", "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": "F/M, M/M, Multi", "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	The sun beats down, rippling the world and turning sand to glass. The earth is golden with sand that kicks up past Geoff's steel eyes. Wrapped white cloaks with ornate red insignias sprawl up to his eyes and bunch up as he squints at Jack. His lovely Jack, writhing under the sun and grasping at sand, trying to find him. Geoff gets on his knees tossing sand behind him. He uncovers stone tablets sunk with time, feeling their groves and pockets. He wipes off the last of the sand and grit before crawling back to Jack. He clutches her tiny frame, pulling her up onto his knees and to his chest.A forgotten language rumbles past his lips and he stands. Leg to leg from knee to knee, the sand billowing and burning through their fabrics. He sets Jack in the center and clutches at his robes for the items he needs. Out comes a chunk of mishapen, gritty gold, a clay jug of alcohol, a pouch of ash, feathers of a white bird, teeth of a cur, and an ornate knife. In each circle groove he places an item. The knife stays in his hand. Each item of plenty rests in the cool stone as Geoff kneels back next to Jack. He strokes her cheek and moves an orange hair from her soft face. "I promise you'll be with me forever, I'm not going to leave you, Jack." Geoff draws the knife over his tribal tattoos and lets the blood run down his forearms. He takes the knife and gently cuts Jack's palm. "You're okay Jack, it didn't hurt did it?" The blood drains into a large basin carved out of the center. Suddenly, heat chokes Geoff, his lungs burn, he can hear Jack coughing, but the heat blisters his eyes and he must shield them to escape the blaze.The heat dissipates as soon as it arrived. Now it lingers as warmth that emanates from a man dressed in red robes. He wears a crown of gold and glass that rests against the horns that bare through his skin. Tiny horns prod out of his forehead and large curled ones stretch from his curly rust hair. Gold rings adorn them and chains connect the tips of his largest horns. He flashes a fanged grin and his body stands thick like coal. Geoff stares up the monster and he darts to grab ahold of Jack. He picks her up and squeezes her against his chest. His eyes harden and he raises his chin to speak with bravery. "God of the eternal flame, I beseech you though I am nothing to you. I ask for immortality for me and my wife." The demon chuckles a light laugh and launches at Geoff, his long fingers force Geoff into the baking stone by his neck. Jack falls from Geoff's arms and she groans out for Geoff. "I am Burns, Phoenix God of those who fall and rise. What do you have in exchange for my gifts?" Beady bird like eyes stare at Geoff, they seem to flit about at any movement. Geoff swallows past the lump Burns presses into his throat. "My soul!" His voice cracks, "and the soul of my wife so she may have immortality too!" Burns sharply rises and swoops over the sickly frame of Jack. His cloak trailing behind him like a plume. "I do not want a sick soul. I shall take yours Geoffrey but not the girl creature." Burns coos, the clump of gold attracting his eyes. "She's not a creature, she's just a woman." Geoff calls out with a hoarse voice, reaching his hand out towards Jack'a shoulder. Burn turns his head inquisitively, darting lower to examine Jack. He turns Jack over with a clawed foot and pulls down the robes over her face. The Phoenix seems to consider,"Tell me what she is. I do not understand." Burns looks straight through Geoff as he wipes the corners of his mouth and the sand from his eyes. "A woman with the predetermined body of a man. She is beautiful and sick with an illness no healer can ease. She has orange hair longer than the day, elegance in her body when she moves, a tongue that burns with ice. I am her's and she is mine. We want an empire, we want a family, we want to live, we want eternity." Geoff chokes pulling Jack into his arms. She mumbles softly against him, her cheeks dusted with sunburn. The Phoenix God turns slowly and looks down at Jack. He swoops and plants his lips to hers before charging Geoff. Geoff sees a brillant crimson as Burns kisses him. His lips roughly pressed against Geoff, drawing his soul out from his mouth. Ash rapidly fills Geoff's mouth and he sputters and coughs as fire bursts and vanishes around him. Geoff wakes up in bed, coughing and sputtering as he throws himself up into a sitting position. He grasps at his throat before grabbing the water next to his bed and swallowing it down. Only after he slams it does he note the burn and hiss of vodka.Silk maroon sheets cover his king bed and dark blinds cool the room off from the Los Santos summer Heat. His clock stares back at him in red, 9:36 am, a shitty time to get up. He pulls his hands down his face and peaks over his fingertips at Jack sleeping soundly next to him. Her lip quivering in soft, milky sleep. She needs the rest, the next heist is coming near. The crew needs their second in command of the city.
10414314	Mistake	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Caranthir \| Morifinwë, Caranthir's Wife, Original Female Character(s), OC Milyë", "Fandom": null, "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by Isilloth", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-23T00:00:00", "words": "392", "Additional Tags": "Conversation, Fëanorian Week", "Relationship": "Caranthir \| Morifinwë/Caranthir's Wife", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "Feanorian week 2017", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien, TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms", "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	"I'm not going. I'm staying in Valinor."Carnistir froze, hearing those words. Slowly, he looked up to her. Milyë stood there, with firmly face. So unlike her..."I'm not going to give up all that I have so far, Carnistir. Sorry."Her voice was so strange, like if it belonged to different person. And still, it was her. How could he be so surprised? Her decision shouldn't be shock for him. But hearing those words..."Won't you say anything?"Demanding, sharp voice."Milyë... I... Why?"His voice was shaking, he couldn't say a coherent sentence. He was never good with coping with his feeling, he thought…. And now he felt just humiliated by breaking down in front of her eyes."Carnistir I... I can't. You know its not for me" Her features softened. She sat next to him, and took his hand. ""I think it will do us only good.""How could you say so?! Milyë, are you kidding me?"Woman was looking down for a moment, not saying anything."It couldn't work out, Carnistir, we both know it. Even if we didn't want to admit it even to ourselves. It was a mistake"“A mistake? What do you call a mistake? Our marriage? How could you forget how we were happy? Does it mean nothing for you?”“And how long did it last? A year? 5? And what’s then? Do you still want to pretend everything was good? Because I’m tired of it.”“Have you ever loved me?” he asked desperately, afraid of the answer.“I thought that I love you”Her words was like slap in the face, even if he anticipated it. They get married quickly, in haze of love. Which not necessarily had to be something bad, he knew a lot of good couples who started like that… But it wasn’t their case.When excitement ceased, they started to see how different they are. And how much it disturbed them. Carnistir didn’t admit it even to himself, but when they were leaving to Formenos, and Milyë refused to go, he felt relief. But now… It was so definitive. If Milyë decide to stay, they may never see each other again. It would be over.He looked at her, resigned. He felt so tired. Surprisingly, he wasn’t even angry.“Stay. Maybe you will find someone you will truly love.”
10437666	Fugue	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": null, "Fandom": "Riverdale (TV 2017)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by ficmuse", "chapters": "2/2", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-25T00:00:00", "words": "9,321", "Additional Tags": "Dark Betty, Dark Jughead, Angst with a Happy Ending, Alternate Canon, Pre-Series", "Relationship": "Betty Cooper/Jughead Jones", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	It was impossible to tell one from the other. One of them he had barely touched. He knew every inch of the skin on the other. One was a straight trajectory. The other was a staircase drawn by Escher. One of them revealed. The other concealed. She was a Möbius strip, twisting around herself. Her devil was in the details. The tilt of her head; the set of her jaw. The look in her eyes sorted him into one role: friend or lover. One or the other. Never both. He could have her mind or her body. She didn't give him a choice. Someday there would be just one girl. Maybe whole; maybe broken beyond repair. Any shards of her that remained, he'll hold onto even if they cut him. He'd rather have a handful of pain than a heart full of nothing. Was there a gentle lover in there? He looked into eyes of clear blue and found no answer. She was all passion and fire or none at all. If she loved him, would she even remember? Would she give him everything he had ever wanted one day and a blank stare the next? Prologue- Freshman Year The Journal of Jughead Jones Friday, March 18 Spring break is next week. The school is abuzz with all the happy family plans of beach houses, cruises or just visiting Grandma and Grandpa down in Florida. I’ll be here in town, running the drive-in. Next weekend’s double feature will be two beloved seasonal classics: Easter Parade and The Ten Commandments. I like the balance: a little Irving Berlin; a little swords and sandals epic. I’m not sure if God really exists, but if he does, I’m sure he sounds just like Charlton Heston.Betty’s headed to a time share in the Poconos for the week with the fam. Archie and his dad are going camping next weekend. I’m sure I’ll have a better time here, eating marshmallow Peeps and watching my movies.The daily Betty: blue sweater; key necklace; ponytail, curled at the end. Pink lip gloss. Bedtime: nightgown. Mentions of her feelings for Archie: 3. Mention of her feelings for me: 1 (friendship). Saturday, March 19 This weekend’s double feature is The Lady Vanishes and Rear Window. Ticket sales have been lower than usual. The heathens in this town don’t appreciate art. It’s Hitchcock, for fuck’s sake. Film doesn’t get much better than that.Betty joined me in the booth at the drive in. “Here’s my price of admission, Jugs.” She handed me a plate of brownies. “I thought you might be hungry.” She had also brought me a BLT, wrapped in wax paper, chips and a pickle. A soda, too, and still cold.“Have I told you lately that you are my favorite person in the whole world?”She smiled. “You tell me that all the time, Jugs.”After the movies, she lay on my bed for a while, talking Hitchcock. We disagreed on his best work; I was straight up Rear Window; she was arguing for Vertigo. Half past midnight, she got up. “I need to get back before curfew.”“I’ll walk you home.”We walked back to the Cooper house. Betty and I were arm and arm. “You know, I’ve been thinking, Juggy. You would make some girl a great boyfriend.” She turned her head towards me and gave me a sweet smile.My heart beat faster. “Do you have someone in mind, Betts?”We walked up to her front door. She turned towards me, her face animated. “I do. Someone sweet, and kind, and caring. Who likes the kind of movies you watch. Who wants to talk about the big issues, the things that are important to you.” She smiled. “Plus, she really likes to cook.”“So, who-“ My voice cracked. Jesus. “So just who is this fabulous girl, Betty Cooper?”“Ethel Muggs!” She clapped her hands. “She’s perfect. Perfect! You totally need to ask her out.”Cue the fucking heartbreak. I am the king of the friend zone.The daily Betty: yellow sweater; key necklace; ponytail, curled at the end. Dark pink lip gloss. Bedtime: white nightgown. Mentions of her feelings for Archie: 0. Mention of her feelings for me: 0. Held her arm when I walked her home. Sunday, March 20 Some might call this stalking. I am uncomfortable with my behavior, but I can’t seem to stop doing it. It’s inevitable, that one of these nights I will look in Archie’s window and see Betty there. Or vice versa. They’re both teetering on the edge. Archie, the idiot, is still deciding if he wants to “take it to the next level.” Betty’s anxiety is fueling her hesitation. I am really grateful for Betty’s anxiety, because without it, they would be dating right now. When they finally hook up, I don’t know how I’m going to hold it together.Archie’s bedroom light is on. Betty’s sitting on her window seat, reading. I tighten the focus on the binoculars. She’s reading Assertiveness: How To Get What You Want. If I’m not mistaken, and I’m pretty good at Betty trivia, this is the fifth time she’s read it. I’m pretty sure self-help isn’t cutting it for Betty Cooper.Here comes Jason Blossom, moving the ladder from behind the garage to Polly’s window. The Cooper parents must be hitting the Ambien pretty hard not to hear the clang when the ladder hits the windowsill. It’s Sunday; Jason and Polly fuck every Sunday and Thursday at the Cooper house, at midnight. Presumably they get down and dirty elsewhere the other nights of the week. I don’t get the relationship. They hook up all the time but don’t say a word to each other at school. Love is a funny thing.The daily Betty: pink sweater; key necklace; ponytail, straight. Clear lip gloss. Bedtime: pajamas. Mentions of her feelings for Archie: 5. Mention of her feelings for me: 1 (friendship). Monday, March 21 Betty has the flu. Her parents wanted to cancel the trip. Betty talked them into going. She’s alone in the house, with Fred promising to keep an eye on her. Betts has a twice a day Skype check in with her smothering mother. Betty and Polly hugged goodbye about fifteen times. I miss sister hugs. Jellybean’s are the best.I made her chicken soup. She said she wanted some and showed me the recipe. I took a picture on my phone and walked to the Savvy Shopper. Back in her kitchen, she talked me through it and I successfully produced soup. She was adorably grateful.Archie came over after he was done with his chores. We watched Rebel Without A Cause and West Side Story. Betty liked both; Archie liked neither. Sitting between them on the couch was exquisite torture. She kept glancing at him; he kept glancing at her. Stick a fucking fork in my eyeball.The daily Betty: blue fuzzy bathrobe with matching slippers; pajamas with kittens; hair down, wavy. No makeup. Mentions of her feelings for Archie: 5. Mention of her feelings for me: 3 (friendship; gratitude). Goodbye kiss on the cheek; hugs for the soup. Tuesday, March 22 Betty is still miserably sick. She wanted Chicken and Stars soup, applesauce and ginger ale. Another trip to the Savvy Shopper and she was all set.She asked to watch another musical, so we watched South Pacific. She fell asleep halfway through, on my shoulder. I let her sleep while the film played on. She was soft and warm. Her shampoo smelled like coconut.That afternoon, we watched horror. The Fly and Invasion of the Body Snatchers, the original 1950s ones. I explained that the monsters symbolized the American fear of Communism. Betty didn’t know that. It was a really great conversation.Fred and Archie came by with a casserole for dinner. We played Monopoly afterwards. I’m always the shoe; Betty is always the dog; and Archie is always the car. Fred said that he didn’t particularly care what piece he had. Sacrilege.The daily Betty: blue fuzzy bathrobe with matching slippers; pajamas with pink polka dots; ponytail, straight. No makeup. Mentions of her feelings for Archie: 0. Mention of her feelings for me: 2 (friendship; gratitude). Goodbye kiss on the cheek. Wednesday, March 23 Betty was feeling better today. At her request, I brought over a pizza from Antonio’s. Pepperoni, extra cheese.We watched Lawrence of Arabia. I told Betty about the Cinemascope process they used to film it and how none of us would ever see the film as the director intended it to be seen. It’s a really long movie and we both fell asleep during it. I woke up on the couch with her head in my lap, her hand in mine. Betty Cooper had held my hand in her sleep. She has delicate, soft hands.She woke up, moved her hand away from mine and sat up. “Jugs! You stayed with me all night.” She smiled at me, a glint in her eye. “I’ve never spent the night with a boy before!”I grinned at her. “So, was it good for you, honey?”She laughed and smacked me in the face with a throw pillow.Betty was starting to feel much better; she had an appetite. “I am totally craving chocolate chip pancakes from Pop's.”“Your wish is my command, Betts.”The sun was rising. We walked down the street towards Pop’s, in the weak light of dawn. She took my hand and held it in hers. “You are so sweet to me, Jug. You’ve taken such good care of me while I’ve been sick.”“I didn’t have anything better to do.”We had pancakes, her treat. Mine were banana, heaped with slices of fruit and pieces of pecan. Pop had topped them off with whipped cream and cherries. Delicious.The daily Betty: blue fuzzy bathrobe with matching slippers; pajamas with yellow daisies; ponytail, straight. Blue sweater; key necklace; ponytail, straight. No makeup. Mentions of her feelings for Archie: 0. (Yay!) Mention of her feelings for me: 2 (friendship; gratitude). Goodbye kiss on the cheek; held hands; slept together on the sofa holding hands (!!!!!!). Thursday, March 24 Today, we helped Betty paint her bedroom. She’s been bitching about the Pepto Bismol pink for months. Fred drove us to the hardware store. He helped Betty pick out the right paint and brushes and lent us some drop cloths and a step ladder.Back at Betty’s house, Archie and Betty and I moved the furniture around and painted. Archie was excellent; Betty was pretty good; I did a somewhat crappy job.When we were done, we looked at our handiwork. The room was now a gentle leaf green with crisp white trim.“I love it. I’ll enjoy it while it lasts,” said Betty.“What do you mean?” asked Archie.“You know how uptight Mrs. Cooper is, Arch. She wants Betty to live in Barbie princess land forever. She can’t deal with the fact that Betty’s growing up.”“Do you know that she still picks out my clothes in the morning?” said Betty. “I’m not in control of anything in my life.”“I bet you five bucks that she paints it pink again by June,” I said.Betty turned to me with a smile. “She’s nuts. It’ll be repainted the day after they get home.”Archie laughed. “Your mom’s not that nuts, Betty.”We cleaned up the room and gathered together the stuff we had borrowed from Fred.Betty moved to close the window before we left.“You have to leave it open,” said Archie. “Otherwise the fresh paint will seal it shut as it dries and you won’t be able to open the window.”“Plus it smells in here from the paint,” I said. “Maybe you should sleep in Polly’s room tonight.”After dropping off the stuff in Archie’s garage, we headed to Pop’s. Cheeseburger deluxe with a double chocolate shake. Betty picked up the check. Perfection.The daily Betty: Riverdale High sweatshirt; jeans; key necklace; ponytail, straight. Clear lip gloss. Mentions of her feelings for Archie: 1 (friendship). Mention of her feelings for me: 1 (friendship). Goodbye hug. Friday, March 25 I don’t even know where to start. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Sophomore Year Jughead had kissed sweet, innocent Betty Cooper twice. He remembered each moment perfectly. It was seared on his memory: the taste of Betty’s lips; her breath on his face; the sweet softness of her skin.He’d been living at Archie’s for a week, one terrifying week where everything was bizarre and weird. Fred had asked a series of probing questions, about how he had eaten, his last dental appointment, money for field trips, for school lunch. Every twenty-dollar bill that Fred pressed into his hand burned another hole in his pride. Fred told him he could pay him back later. Jughead knew that Fred never intended to see any of the money again.He was completely humiliated. Being escorted out of school by the sheriff, even though he had been released, hadn’t exactly helped his social status at school. There were whispers in the hallway. Someone had carved the word “killer” into his locker. He knew the truth.Fred had provided an alibi to get him out of the police station. Jughead was grateful, so grateful, for Fred’s help. But Archie’s dad would not let up with the questions, with the gentle but firm interrogation at every turn. So many questions. He was tired of talking.Betty had questions, too. He saw her at school, turning to him in the hallway with a smile. She wanted to talk, he was sure, about his homelessness, his dad, his miserable fucked up life. He couldn’t bear to tell her. She had enough problems. She didn’t need to deal with his.After a week, Betty finally cornered him. “Hey, Jugs. Have you been avoiding me?”He shook his head. “No, of course not.”“Good. So you’ll meet me after school? I think we need to work on the Blue and Gold.”“I don’t want to write an article about how I’m currently the prime suspect, Betts. I think I’ll pass on that one.”“Juggie, you have an alibi. You’re not the prime suspect.”“Well, who is? I have a whole school full of people spitting at me in the hall and leaving death threats in my locker. I’ve already been convicted by a jury of my peers.”“Everyone who knows you knows that you’re not capable of this.”“Yeah, that’s great. There are two whole people in this town who don’t think I’m the twisted sicko who took out Jason Blossom.”“You have me,” Betty said, her face serious. “Who cares what everyone else says?”“Fine. I’ll meet you after school.”**Kevin, Jughead and Betty looked at the murder board in the Blue and Gold room.“There’s got to be something obvious that we’re not getting,” said Betty. “Some clue that’s right under our noses.”Kevin shook his head. “I can tell you, Dad isn’t any better off than you are. He’s pretty much doing the same thing that you’re doing: staring at a bunch of suspects and not making any headway.”“Well, we’re rolling out an issue any way.” Betty bit her lip. “It needs to be front page news that Jughead is not a suspect and has an alibi.”“Betty, don’t do that.” His alibi was a lie. Trumpeting his innocence, with a completely fictitious alibi, was a dangerous and stupid risk to take. The minute that someone really pressed Fred for witnesses to corroborate the falsified time cards, Jughead was fucked. Straight up, direct to jail, fucked. He’d already spent time at Riverside Juvenile Correctional Center. He knew what awaited him.“We will talk about it later.” She turned to Kevin. “Let’s regroup tomorrow and try to look at this in a different way."Kevin said his goodbyes and left the two of them alone.“So, Jugs, why don’t we go to Pop’s and talk about all this over a milkshake?” She smiled at him, her face eager.“Betty, thanks, but I don’t think so.”Her smile faded. “Jug, do you not like me anymore?” She bit her lip. “I mean, we kissed, and it was really sweet. Really, really nice.”“It was.” His gaze fell to her lips. “I love kissing you, Betty.”She raised her eyebrows. “So, why don’t we do it some more?” She reached out one hand and placed it on the side of his neck. “Like, now? How does right now sound, Jughead?”He cupped her head in his hands and kissed her. It was as good as it always was; warm, sweet. She slipped her tongue in his mouth. He groaned and she kissed him harder, deeper.She broke away. “So, you’ll meet me tonight at Pop’s?” She looked at him with eager eyes. He’d smudged her pink lipstick around her mouth. With one trembling thumb, he wiped it off her skin.“Yes. I will.”That night, he sat in a booth with Archie, Veronica and Betty. Of course, when she’d asked him to meet her, he’d assumed it was a date. He really needed to learn not to make assumptions. He wasn’t even sitting next to her; Archie was.“So, I think it’s really important to let the students of Riverdale know, unequivocally, that Jughead is not a suspect,” said Betty.Archie looked across the table at Jughead. He knew damn well that Fred had faked the alibi, just to cover his ass. “I think that you should just hold back until there’s a break in the case. A front page story on Jughead is just going to make things more difficult for him.”Jughead really couldn’t deal with the notion of things becoming even more difficult. He was hanging on by a thread as it was. He was one elbow in the solar plexus away from having a complete meltdown in the hallway at school. “I agree with Archie. I think we should just sit tight and wait for the next break.”“We are a lot better investigators than the police are,” argued Betty. “The two of us can figure this out. We can take the real killer to Sheriff Keller ourselves. I know we can do it.”“I think you’re overestimating our skills.”She smiled at him. “No. We’re unstoppable, Jugs. I know it. We make a great team.”Veronica laughed. “God, you guys are so cute. Look at those puppy eyes!” She turned to Jughead. “You can’t resist those big eyes, can you?”“No, I would do anything for Betty’s big blue eyes.”Betty giggled. “You’re adorable.”Archie sighed. “Okay, this is sickeningly sweet. I need to go meet Valerie any way. Later guys.” He stopped. “Jug, you need some money to pay the bill? I’ve got you covered.”Jughead’s humiliation was immense. “No, man. I’m cool.”Veronica patted Jughead’s thigh. “Well, I’ll leave you two love birds alone.” She cleared her throat. “You know, Jughead, the Bijou is showing Vertigo on Saturday night. I know how much you love a good Hitchcock film. It would make a really nice first date for you and Betty, don’t you think?”He was going to strangle Veronica Lodge with his bare hands.“I would like that a lot, actually. Jughead, would you like to take me to the movies?” asked Betty.“Yes, of course,” he answered.*****Riverdale was a very small town. There were only so many places to go and things to do. If you didn’t have a car, you had even less options. So, date night in Riverdale, the place to see and be seen on Saturday night, was the Bijou.Betty and Jughead held hands as they stood in line for tickets. There was a long line for the box office that curled around the side of the building. They were about halfway there.“You know, this offends me on a deep, personal level,” said Jughead. “We had a movie venue in town that focused on classic, important films. However, no one thought it was important to save it. Now they are running classic movies at the Bijou and selling out every single time!”“Well, it means that you were right. Classic films are important and are good. More people are interested in them than you thought.” She gestured at the line. “Everyone is here.”“But are they here to take in a cinematic masterpiece or are they here to make out in the back of the theatre for two hours?”She shrugged. “Well, there is that. Maybe fifty-fifty?”He smiled and held her hand more tightly.After they bought their tickets, Jughead picked up a large popcorn.“Extra butter, extra salt?” he asked.“You remembered how I like it.”He knew everything about Betty Cooper. Both the light and dark sides of the girl he adored. He could write the Betty Cooper Wikipedia, meticulously documented and detailed.They walked into the main theatre and Betty stopped. To the left was the staircase up to the balcony. If you were on a date and you wanted to make out, you went to the balcony. If you were on a date, and actually wanted to watch the film, you stayed in the main, bottom seating level. Jughead had never sat in the balcony.Betty moved down the aisle towards the front of the house, where the screen was. Jughead let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding and followed her. She sat down in the middle of the third row and settled into her seat. He sat down next to her and took her hand.The first half of the movie went well. Jughead whispered interesting trivia about the film in her ear. She smiled at him and nodded. They held hands and ate popcorn. It was a really awesome date.Then, someone started throwing popcorn at them. It hit their heads and shoulders and bounced.Betty turned around. “Knock it off!”“Hey, Cooper! You lose a bet or something?” It was Reggie Mantle. Of course, because some jock dipshit had to ruin every moment of Jughead’s already fucked up life.“Stop it, Reggie!” Betty turned around. “Stop throwing popcorn before I come back there and slap that smug smile right off of your face!”“Betty, please,” Jughead said. “It’s okay.”“It’s not okay! It’s so not okay.”Five minutes later, they were pelted with another shower of popcorn.“This is bullshit!” Betty hissed. She got up and grabbed her jacket and her popcorn.“Down in front!” someone yelled.“Oh, fuck off,” she yelled back. Several people laughed.She stood up, pushed her way to the end of the row and walked down the aisle.Well, so much for their first official date. Jughead was disappointed but not surprised. He followed behind her. She stomped down to the fifth row and shoved her way through the line of jocks until she reached Reggie, in the dead center.“You like popcorn, you Cro-Magnon fuckwad?” Betty said loudly. “Well, here you go!” She slammed the popcorn bucket upside down on Reggie’s head and stomped away.“Jesus, Betty.” Betty grabbed his hand and pulled him down the aisle. At the end, she stopped. Tightening her fingers on his, she led him up to the balcony.No one up here was watching the movie. Couples were scattered throughout the balcony, separated by a few seats in some unspoken code of pretend privacy.She pulled him into the first row.“I’m really sorry,” he whispered.She turned to him and smiled. It was dark, sexy and mischievous. “I’m not. Being up here with you is going to be even better than the movie.”She pulled his face close to hers and kissed him. It started hot and heavy and escalated from there. She was sucking face with him, deeply French kissing him with her hands shoved under his shirt. She ran her hands over his back.“I make you hard, don’t I?” She lifted her eyebrows and smiled a very sexy smile.“Yes,” Jughead gasped. Betty Cooper had her hand on the zipper of his jeans.She leaned over and bit his earlobe. “Next time, I’ll make you even harder.” She gave his crotch a lingering squeeze and moved her hand back into her lap.Ten minutes later she leaned over. “Can you get us some more popcorn, please?”For the remainder of the movie, they held hands and talked about the film.*The drama began as soon as he walked through the front doors of Riverdale High on Monday.Reggie Mantle clapped his hand on Jughead’s shoulder, hard. “So, I see you got yourself a little girlfriend.”“Please leave me alone.” He tried to walk away from Reggie before things escalated. As always, it didn’t work.Reggie slammed him against the locker and poked him in the chest. “So, I see that Betty is following in her sister’s footsteps. Slutting it up seems to run in the family.”“Shut up or I will fucking kill you, Reggie.”“Everyone saw you sucking face at the movie theatre. So much for Betty’s reputation.” He shrugged. “No one is going to date her after this. No decent guy at Riverdale will. She’ll have to settle for bottom feeders like you.”Jughead pushed Reggie away and walked to class. He spaced out during Mr. Conroy’s history lecture. Had he really ruined Betty’s reputation with a few kisses at the movies? What they had done wasn’t any different than every other couple in the balcony. Well, she had put her hand on his crotch. Which was...pushing the envelope in public, he guessed.Ugh. He’d fucked up. His hormones and his bad rep were going to make things harder for Betty.In English class, Miss Gillespie stood in front of the class. Her hands were on her hips, her lips pursed. “To say that I am surprised and disappointed in your test scores is a massive understatement. There was only one student in the class who scored a passing grade. Therefore, I was unable to curve the test. Most of you received a D; some of you received a C.” She began moving around the room, distributing the test papers.Something hit Jughead in the back of the head. From experience, he identified it as a tightly balled up piece of notebook paper. Not really painful; just annoying.“Thanks for fucking up the curve, Ted Bundy,” someone hissed.Another ball of paper hit him in the head. “Fucking brown nose teacher’s pet!” That was Reggie.“Class, please settle down.” Miss Gillespie handed Jughead his paper. “Nice job, dear.”If he fucked up on purpose, would things be easier? If he pretended to be an idiot, would the actual idiots leave him alone?Miss Gillespie clapped her hands. “So, since I foresee a flood of emails from angry parents about your grades, I am going to offer all of you a second chance. You are to form a group, watch a film, and give a short, five-minute presentation contrasting the film that I assign you to Hamlet. You are to compare and contrast the themes of the play and the film and be very specific. The team will get one grade and one grade only. You have to work together to get a good grade. The grades for the test will be removed and only the group presentation grade will count for this assignment.”The class began chatting and formed into groups. Miss Gillespie went around, handing out DVD’s and making notes on her clipboard. She walked over to Jughead.“Where is your group, Mr. Jones?”“I do not want or need to be in a group. I got an A on the test. Can’t I just keep my A?”She shook her head. “No. You need to do a group project just like everyone else.” She turned her head. “I need a group for Jughead. Who would like to work on the project with him?”There was dead silence. Jughead closed his eyes and sighed.“I will, Miss Gillespie.” It was Betty. She came over and put one hand on his shoulder. “We make a pretty good team.” She looked down at him with a smile.God bless Betty Cooper. The girl was too good for this world and way, way too good for him.“Perfect.” The teacher handed Jughead two DVD’s. It was Kill Bill. Both volumes, one and two.“Really? Cool.” Jughead loved the films of Quentin Tarantino.“I saved this one just for you, Jughead,” Miss Gillespie patted Betty on the arm. “It’s very gory, but the theme of revenge is key to both works. Just focus on that, dear.”***They walked to Betty’s house after school to work on the project.Her mom was in the kitchen, reading a magazine. She kissed Betty on the cheek. “How was your English test? Did you get an A?”“No, there was a change of plan. Mrs. Gillespie assigned us a group project. Juggie and I have a movie to watch and a presentation to do.”“When is it due?”“This Friday.”“Well, you need to get started then. No time to waste. Work hard.” Mrs. Cooper checked her watch. “I’ll be down to check on things every half hour or so. Just to make sure you kids are on track and focused on your work.” She raised her eyebrows. “Not each other.”Betty sighed. “Mom, it is just Juggie. You’ve known him our entire lives.”“Well, things have changed. You told me that you went on a date together. Boyfriends and girlfriends do not spend time together behind closed doors in this house.”Betty nodded. “Whatever you say, Mom.” Her voice indicated her annoyance.A door near the kitchen reached the Cooper’s basement. Mrs. Cooper opened the door and gestured for them to go in. “This door stays open. Understood?”“We get it, Mom. No need to beat a dead horse.”They settled into the basement and put on Kill Bill. Betty took out a notebook and made notes. She and Jughead stopped the movie a few times to refer to their copy of Hamlet.After they watched the movie for about fifteen minutes, Betty turned towards him and straddled his lap.She smiled at him, her eyes shining. “Hey there, handsome.”“Hey beautiful.” He reached out and stroked a lock of her hair. “Bored with the movie?”She grabbed his head in her hands and kissed him hard. It escalated quickly to a serious makeout session. Jughead was breathing heavily as Betty Cooper grabbed his shoulders and ground herself against his lap.He pulled his mouth away from hers. “Betty, we need to stop,” he whispered.She licked his ear. “Why?”“We can’t do this now.”She reached down between his legs and cupped him. “I think you really like this.”“Your mother is right upstairs.” God help them both if Mrs. Cooper caught them grinding together on the couch. Betty would be grounded for the rest of her life.She tilted her head. “Are you scared we will get caught?”“Yes! Aren’t you?”She smiled. “Not at all.”Betty was nuts. She was biting his earlobe when he heard her mom coming down the stairs. He pushed Betty off and threw his jacket over his lap.Alice appeared and placed a tray on the coffee table. “I’m just setting down this platter of milk and cookies.”“Thank you, Mrs. Cooper.”“Enjoy your movie.”As soon as she went back upstairs Jughead rushed to the basement powder room. He locked the door and unfastened his pants. He was hard as a rock, pre cum already leaking from his dick. He pulled his shirt up to his nipples and wrapped his hand around himself. She was turning him on so much. Jesus, she was amazing. Betty had ground her crotch against his dick over and over.Just thinking of it was more than enough. He came, gasping. He cleaned off his belly, refastened his belt and washed his hands. He looked in the mirror. He was flushed, panting. He had to pull it together. He splashed cold water on his face and dried it with a towel.When he came back out, Betty was sitting on the couch, eating a cookie. “Hey Jugs. I rewound the movie a bit.” She turned to him with a smile. “Do you want a cookie?”*Kevin, Betty, Jughead and Veronica ate lunch together the next day.Betty had packed Jughead a lunch: double roast beef with cheddar on rye, chips and a cookie for dessert.He was thrilled. “You’re the best," He meant it. Jughead stuffed the sandwich into his mouth. It was amazing.“My English project group sucks,” complained Kevin. “We haven’t even started watching the movie yet.”“I keep losing track of the plot and having to rewind our movie. I think I need to increase the dosage on my Adderall,” said Betty. “I’m super distracted.”“I feel you,” said Kevin. “I swear I read the same ten pages of Hamlet last night five times.”Veronica nodded. “The struggle is real. I mean, I love Shakespeare in the Park. But on the page? Super boring.”After lunch, Jughead walked Betty to gym class. At the door to the girls’ locker room, she kissed him. It was sweet and gentle. Jughead opened his mouth, added a little tongue, deepening the kiss.She immediately moved away. “Juggie!”“What?”She was blushing. “My goodness.”Yesterday afternoon this same girl had ground herself against him, moaning. It was very hard to keep track.Betty shook her head. “Jug.” She smiled up at him shyly. “I just think PDA is kind of...inappropriate at school.”“Oh. My bad.”After school, they walked back to Betty’s. Down in the basement, they put on the movie. Betty took out her notebook and a pen. She stopped the movie a few times and took notes.Mrs. Cooper came down with food, this time popcorn and Cokes. As soon as she left, Betty set a box of Kleenex on the couch next to Jughead.“Do you have a cold?”She smiled. “No, they are not for me.”“Oh.”Fifteen minutes later, she showed him what the Kleenex was for. She was kissing him like she was going to suck the tonsils right out of his face. She pushed her hand inside his pants and wrapped it around his dick.Her hand was soft and warm and felt so good. “Oh my God, Betty.”She paused the movie and pulled him into the little powder room, the box of Kleenex in her hand. She set the cardboard box down on the bathroom sink, unzipped his pants and pulled his underwear down. Betty kissed him as she worked her hand up and down.He came. It spattered across his belly. She took her pinky and swiped it through the pool of cum on his stomach.Her eyes widened. “You taste...salty. Like popcorn.” She smiled. “You taste exactly how I like my popcorn. That’s not so bad.”He couldn't think of an appropriate response. “Thank you?”She took a handful of Kleenex, cleaned him up and kissed his cheek. She went back to the couch, sat down and put the movie on. They ate popcorn and drank soda while they worked on the project.He watched Betty instead of the movie. She was so beautiful. He loved the curve of her jaw, the shape of her eyes. This perfect angel of a girl had given him a spectacular hand job. Now she sat on the couch, eating popcorn, completely unfazed. He wanted to make her come, to watch when it happened to her. He wanted to make her want him, as much as he wanted her.“I want to make you feel good,” he said. “The same way that you made me happy. It doesn’t seem right that you aren't happy too.”She looked over at him and smiled. “Just being with you makes me happy, Juggie.” She held his hand.*For lunch the next day, Betty had packed him an enormous Italian sub, a string cheese and chocolate brownies. “Wow. You take such good care of me.”Betty smiled at him and gave him a kiss. “You need brain food so we can do well with our project.”There was a naughty glimmer in her eyes. Was she teasing him about the ...sex stuff they’d been doing? Unclear.That afternoon, she gave him a blowjob in the bathroom. Sweet little Betty Cooper, on her knees on the little bath mat in front of the sink.“Betty, I’m close.” She had him braced against the wall, her hands on his hips. He watched her little blonde ponytail bob up and down as she sucked on him. She kept going and he came, biting his lip hard so he wouldn’t scream. She choked on it, pulling away from him. “I’m sorry.”She rose from the floor, wiping her mouth. “Wow, that’s kind of...a lot in my mouth.”“I couldn’t help it.”She smiled. “Kiss me.” He kissed her, tasting himself in her hot warm mouth. It made him want her even more.He put his hand on her waist. “It’s your turn, Betts. Let me take care of you, too.” But she shook her head, distracted him with some more deep French kisses, and left him alone in the bathroom.After lunch the next day, she pulled him into the Blue and Gold room. She smiled at him. “Want to make out? I can’t wait until after school.”He smiled. “I thought you didn’t like PDA at school.”“I don’t, I think it’s gross.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “But we have ten minutes until bell and I think we should take a good look at the supply closet.”So, they stepped into the closet and shut the door. She pressed him against the wall and kissed him. Her hands pressed against his shoulders as they kissed, first gently, then deeply. She leaned forward and pressed against his erection.“Oh my!” She gave a little laugh. “I think you’re really happy to see me.”“I’m always happy to see you, Betts.”“Well, you’re super happy today.” She smiled up at him, blushing.“You turn me on,” Jughead said softly. “Everything. The way you kiss me. The way you touch me. Your smiles.” He grinned. “Your awesome sandwiches.”She laughed and kissed him again. They were both late to their next class, unable to stop kissing and laughing with each other.After school, they walked back to the Cooper house to watch more Kill Bill. In the kitchen was a note from Betty’s mom, telling them that they would need to find somewhere else to study. No unsupervised study sessions in this house, she indicated. Mrs. Cooper suggested walking to the library and using the media room.“Well, we should head to the library then.” Jughead shrugged.Instead, Betty Cooper pulled her sweater over her head and threw it on the floor. Her bra quickly followed. She was standing there, topless, her beautiful breasts bare, in the middle of her kitchen.“What are you doing?”“I want you.” She threw herself at him, grabbing his ass and smashing her breasts against him.They kissed their way across the hall and up the stairs. In her bedroom, she threw him down on the bed and unzipped his pants.She gave him a blowjob, sweet and slow and then fast, strong. He came in her mouth, gasping. She moved to her knees and smiled down at him. “I liked watching you come.”“I want to make you come, Betty.” He put his hand on her breast. He watched her nipple harden into a peak.She shook her head. “I don’t want you to touch me.” She stared over his shoulder, not meeting his eyes, for several long seconds.“Betty.”She looked down at him and tilted her head. “Jughead.”“Yes, it’s Jughead, your boyfriend. The one who loves you.”She smiled down at him and pressed her hand against his cheek. “I love you too.”“I love it when you tell me that.”She lay next to him in bed and he pulled her into his arms. They made out and he could feel himself hardening again, just from the kisses and her naked chest against his.“You’ve made me so happy,” he said. “Please let me make you happy. Please.”She unfastened her pants and slipped them off. Now she was naked, next to him. He kicked off his pants and they were both naked in her bed.She kissed him more and then she moved her hand between her legs. He watched her as she made herself come.“Please let me touch you,” Jughead said.She put her hand on his wrist and guided him between her legs. He slid his fingers inside her. She gripped his wrist, moving her hand where she wanted him and soon, she was coming again.She looked up at him, her eyes hazy. “I want to make love with you.”“I want to. I always do.”“I’m scared to make love,” she said. “I’m scared.”“We won’t do anything you don’t want to,” said Jughead. “We can stop whenever you want.”“I don’t want to get pregnant,” she said. “I don’t want to wind up like Polly.”"You know I have condoms, Betts. I always have them in my pocket."She shook her head no.“Then let me just...taste you.” He slid down her body. She moaned as he moved his fingers within her until she came. When she settled, he put his mouth on her clit and sucked.She liked it. A lot. She came a couple of times and he kept going. He pushed his tongue in and out of her, mimicking with his tongue what his body badly wanted to do.“Stop, please stop,” said Betty. Jughead immediately stopped and looked up at her. “I want you to come with me.”She moved her body over him, arranged herself between his legs and sucked him into her mouth. They had never done this before. He was confused for a second and then it clicked. He figured it out: she wanted him to go down on her, while she went down on him. The position of their bodies was overwhelming; he could see her whole nude body. He licked and pleasured her while she sucked on him. It was almost unbearable in its intensity.She came, and then he did, and she fell asleep in his arms. He kissed her forehead, smelling the sweet scent of Betty. His girl. The one he loved.*That night, they had milkshakes at Pop’s. She was adorable, in a happy mood. They talked more about Kill Bill. He explained why it was his favorite. She hadn’t seen any of Tarantino's other movies.“I had an Amazon card from my birthday,” she said. “I ordered the Blu Rays of all of his movies! We can watch all of them together.”They walked out hand in hand. Just as they were coming out, Reggie walked up with his pack of asshole jocks.“Hey psycho killer,” he greeted Jughead. “I see you’re out with your skank.”“Don’t call her that,” warned Jughead.“Or what? You’ll shoot me in the head like you shot Jason?”“Leave him alone!” yelled Betty.“Or what?” Reggie punched Jughead in the gut. He doubled over in pain.“You can’t just go around hurting people!” screamed Betty. “What is wrong with you?”“Please, let’s just go.” Jughead took her arm but she shrugged away from him.“Someone needs to teach you a lesson, Reggie,” said Betty, her hands clenched into fists.“Well, the one to do it won’t be your little boyfriend. All you ever do is walk away, Jones. You never fight back!”“Maybe one day I’ll snap and it won’t be a very good day for you, Reggie.”“I don’t think so.” Reggie turned to Betty with a sneer. “So, you as good a fuck as your sister? Jason said you were.”“What?” Betty’s eyes widened. “That’s a lie!”Jughead attacked Reggie. He threw himself at him with all his might. He knocked him down and slammed his head into the pavement. One of Reggie’s friends grabbed Jughead by the jacket and pummeled him, over and over.When all was said and done, Jughead wound up down at the police station. He sat there, with gauze shoved up his nose, while Fred argued with the police officers. Finally, they left. “It’s a very good thing that the people eating in Pop’s saw Reggie jump you. Why didn’t you back off? Just take the high road and don’t let people get to you.”“I’m tired of taking the high road,” said Jughead. “I’ve been walking on it my whole life and it has never gotten me anywhere.”The next morning at school, everyone was at their lockers getting their things before the first class.Jughead was at his locker. He was putting his books in his bag when he felt a slam from behind. He turned around to see Reggie. “I got grounded because of you, you fuckwad.” Reggie punched him in the stomach and Jughead doubled over, wracked with pain.Fucking great. As Jughead stood back up, he saw Betty coming down the hall. She looked...weird. He realized that her hair was down. She had cut her hair into straight bangs across her forehead. She was wearing a tight, bright yellow sweater and black pants. As she reached them, she put one hand in her bag. She pulled out...a huge knife.She stood next to Reggie and pointed it at his throat. “When do you want to die? Tomorrow? The day after tomorrow?”“Holy shit, Betts!” Jughead was shocked.“Jesus Christ!” Reggie’s eyes widened. “You two are real life fucking natural born killers!”Half the people in the hall ran away yelling. Half stared in fascination. Cheryl Blossom whipped out her phone and started recording them.Reggie’s eyes were wide. “Please don’t hurt me.”“Betty, give me that knife,” said Jughead.Betty's eyes were shiny, wild. This wasn’t her, at all. This was the most un-Bettylike thing that he had ever seen her do. That was saying something.“He needs to know that I’m serious.” Her voice was dark and deadly.“I am taking you very fucking seriously right now,” said Reggie.Jughead moved toward Betty. “Betty, give me the knife. Now!”She turned toward him. “You can’t make me. No one can make me do anything I don’t want to do.” He voice was cold and clear and lacking in expression.“I can’t make you do anything. I want you to know that this is wrong. What you are doing is wrong. Please give me the knife before someone gets hurt,” said Jughead.She looked at him, confused. “But I do want to hurt him. He needs to be punished. He needs to pay for what he did to my sister.”“I only fucked Polly a couple of times,” Reggie babbled. “She was into it. It was no big deal.”“Reggie, for the love of God. Shut the fuck up,” said Jughead.Betty’s hand tightened on the knife. “No big deal?” Her eyes were hard. Murderous. This girl wasn’t Betty. She walked in Betty’s skin. But there was anger and a fury that sweet Betty Cooper had never known.Fuck, fuck, how was Jughead going to get her out of this? He turned his body, putting himself between Reggie and the knife. “Please give me the knife. Betty, this isn’t who you are. This isn’t you.”She blinked.Jughead saw the front doors of the school open. In strolled two cops. Cops had guns. Fuck, fuck, fuck.He turned to Betty. “I love you. You are kind and sweet and good. You are not the kind of person who hurts other people.”Her eyes filled with tears. Her hand shook. “I need vengeance,” she said. “For Polly. For me.”“You don’t need vengeance, Betty,” said Jughead. “I won’t let anyone hurt you. Please drop the knife before you get hurt.”The cops were getting closer. Closer to shooting range.He stepped as close to Betty as he could. Blocking a clear shot. The cops would have to shoot through him to hit her. He couldn’t lose her, not when she was his at last, all of her. “I love you, Betty. No one will ever hurt you again, I promise.”Betty dropped the knife and began to cry. “Jason hurt me! He did! He said that he thought I was Polly. I was sleeping in her room and he thought it was her.” Her voice choked. “When I woke up he was inside me!”Jughead kicked the knife away. It slid across the floor. Reggie bolted, running towards the cops.“Betty, he’s dead. He can’t hurt you any more.” He held her shoulders in his hands. “He’s dead, baby. He’s dead.”She screamed, her hands in fists. “I didn’t want him to touch me. It wasn’t supposed to be me! I'm not Polly!”“I know, Betts. I know.”She swooned. He caught her in his arms as she fell to the floor.The hallway was filled with people, yelling, running around. Jughead shoved everyone away and wouldn’t let anyone touch her. The cops pulled her from his arms and put her in handcuffs. Betty’s expression was blank as they led her away.Jughead was paralyzed. What could he do? How could he help her now? Would she be okay?Mr. Weatherbee clapped his hand on Jughead’s back. “Show’s over. You need to get back to class.”“What? Like nothing happened?”“The school day isn’t over. Make the most of your time.”In English, Jughead gave the presentation on Kill Bill by himself. He and Betty got a B.****Although the town went wild with rumors, Betty wasn’t the killer. She had been thousands of miles away, in Los Angeles, for the entire month of July and most of August. Social media posts and cell phone records completely corroborated her alibi.Whoever had killed Jason, it hadn’t been sweet Betty Cooper. The other Betty, the angry, violent shadow that Betty had revealed to the world, hadn’t killed him either.Betty disappeared. It was weeks before Jughead saw her again. But when he came home from school one Friday, Betty was sitting on the front porch, waiting for him. It was still jarring to see her with her short bangs.She smiled at him, her eyes bright. “I missed you so much.”“I missed you too.” He put down his bag and sat next to her on the porch. “How are you doing?”“I’m okay. I’m getting outpatient treatment, now. I’m back home permanently. I start school on Monday, after much drama with Principal Weatherbee, my doctor, and my parents.”“It will be really good to have you back.”“I’m scared to go back. I don’t know how people will treat me. I’m afraid of having more dissociative episodes in front of people.”“Dissociative episodes? Is that what they are called?”“Yeah. It’s a way of dealing with trauma. Something would happen and my brain would try to protect me by checking out. I’m still working on my triggers, trying to figure them out.” She shrugged. “Anger and sexual attraction seem to be on the list.”“I am not surprised to hear that.”She sighed. “I was relieved to find out that I hadn’t killed Jason Blossom during some...fugue state.”“You are innocent, Betty. You never did anything wrong.”“I’m happy Jason Blossom is dead, though. Does that make me a horrible person?”“No. He hurt you and he deserved to die.” Jughead’s voice was firm and hard and certain. “I never thought I was capable of murder, Betts. But you’re the one I love.”“I don’t remember everything that happened. There are bits and pieces, but some parts don’t make sense. Or just can’t be real. But what I do remember is that you made me feel safe.” Betty put her hand on his arm. “You are someone that I can depend on. I don’t want to lose that.”“You’ll never lose me. I will always be there for you, no matter what. But I don’t think I’m good for you,” said Jughead. “Being with me...it changed you into someone that you aren’t. I don’t want my darkness to change who you are.”She shook her head. “I didn’t change. I just revealed different parts of myself. The ones that I wanted to be, that felt good. Someone powerful, and sexy, and in control.”“You were all of those things with me.” He kissed the palm of her hand.She smiled at him. “When we were alone in my bedroom, that was me. I was there. I remember that. But after that, I went all off the tracks crazy and ruined it all. How can you ever trust me again? I can always snap again, have a fugue state, and lose who I really am. You won’t ever know what’s real.”“You’re real.” He loved her so much. “I want you to show me who you really are, Betty Cooper. Whoever that person is, I want to be with her. All of the bits and pieces, whatever they are; good, bad, or something in between. All of you.”She leaned her head on his shoulder. “I need to deal with what happened to me. I need to take time to sort out my feelings about being assaulted; about sex and desire. I want to be with you with a clear mind and a calm heart. I’m not there yet. Not even close.”“Why don’t we go back to the start?” said Jughead. “Just...reboot our relationship. We can begin with sweet kisses and holding hands. We can even have a first date, all over again. The real me can get to know the real you. I can take you to Pop’s and we can get to know each other.”“I have a different idea.” Betty looked over at him with her big, blue eyes. “I think that we should watch a movie tonight. We can pick another film from the Tarantino oeuvre and watch it on the big screen in my basement. Sound good?”He stood up from the stoop and helped her to her feet. “Sounds perfect. It’s got to be Reservoir Dogs. It’s his first film. If you want to start at the beginning, that’s what we should do.” They walked hand in hand to Betty’s house, talking Tarantino. Jughead kept a log. What Betty wore; her hair; her mood. Her lipstick was important; it was often the most obvious difference. He tracked the clues, connected the dots. She was a mystery to solve and he was determined to crack it. His conscience was a twisted thing, battered into submission by his loneliness and need. A scrap was better than nothing. But did she ever wonder how that bruise had appeared? Or why she had that soreness between her thighs? It was hard to weigh consent when his body was as bruised as hers. She bit; she bruised. She left her marks on him, body and soul. There were infinitesimal differences between the girl who was gentle and the girl who wasn’t. Was there a calculus of Betty? Did he just need to discover the right formula to make sense out of this? One day, would he plug in the variables and see the answer? Could he hold on to all these scraps of her and construct a whole girl? Or was she just shreds, never whole? In the end, was she just confetti in the air, slipping through his hands forever? The End
10426905	Hands-On Experience	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "King Bradley, Mrs. Bradley", "Fandom": "Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Explicit", "author": "by SonjaJade", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-24T00:00:00", "words": "658", "Additional Tags": "First Time, Honeymoon", "Relationship": "King Bradley/Mrs. Bradley", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	The people who’d groomed him told him his wedding night wouldn’t be anything spectacular. Sex was for procreation, and since he couldn’t reproduce, it was kind of a formality in getting his new wife to believe the sham of their marriage and give hope for offspring that would never come.Despite being less than human now, he knew those teachings were wrong when his lips touched hers at the altar, when her tongue timidly touched his in front of a crowd of hundreds. When they were finally alone in the honeymoon suite, he was nervous at what else would happen if just a kiss had set him alight inside.The lingerie she wore under her wedding dress left nothing to the imagination. Her breasts were full and perky, her waist and hips trim and lean… Something about the way her ass swelled so perfectly and led to a set of beautiful thighs-He looked down at the front of his tuxedo pants, puzzled. Her fingers came into view and he looked into her eyes.“Is that for me?” she asked, touching the raised and strained part of his clothing.He didn’t know. His thoughts were too scattered to form a response, but luckily he didn’t have to. Vera seemed to know what was going on. She kissed him again, and here in the privacy of their room he was comfortable to let her linger there and explore this new sensation she was giving him. The more she touched, the more he wanted from her. She undressed him slowly and he wondered why her cheeks pinked when she tugged his boxers from his waist.She led him to the bed, removed her frilly lace panties and laid on the bed, her legs open and her hands reaching out for him. He’d read about this. “Insert repeatedly until semen bursts from the penis. Wash when finished and resume normal activities.” But the passages he’d read about intercourse had never mentioned how strangling tight his wife’s vagina would be, how wonderfully warm it would feel, how smooth and slick and wet it would be- not to mention how the sound of his name being breathed hotly over his ear would cause that tingling feeling in his guts to intensify…He began to rock with her. For a moment, he was able to forget about everything but her. He was just a man alone with wife- making love to her for the first time. A tilt of her hips and she was arching her back and pushing harder into him. He wasn’t even going very fast and was a finely trained warrior- why was he panting as if he were sprinting? When at last he could take no more, his jaw clenched at the same time as her body clenched around him, and he cried out as he emptied himself into her.Afterward, he gazed at her flushed face, a new respect for everything she would become for him. She had taught him this new skill, probably taught herself much of it as well, and in a completely different way than any other instructor had taught him anything. There were no manuals, tomes, lectures- just hands on learning that was incredible and priceless.And unlike those instructors, she genuinely cared about him- she loved him.His fingers gently touched her cheeks as he remained buried in her. “I never… Vera, that was amazing.”She smiled weakly at him and nodded. “Only the best for my darling husband.” Then she blushed, hurriedly adding that she’d never done anything like that with anyone else, simply that she was saving all her stored up knowledge from dime store romance novels- and he cut her off with a deep kiss. He could feel himself hungering for more and he let himself explore her body a little further, tugging her bustier down a little and caressing a bared breast.“Can we do it again?”“Yes,” she breathed.
10492524	GenerationThe Clouds Of	{ "Archive Warning": "Graphic Depictions Of Violence", "Category": "Other", "Characters": null, "Fandom": null, "Language": "English", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by ShadowBladeWales", "chapters": "3/10", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-29T00:00:00", "words": "1,178", "Additional Tags": "Dovah", "Relationship": "None", "Character": "Ceyran", "Relationships": null, "Series": "Generation", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion", "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Its Dark. The time must be 12 am at least, what day? Mondas? Thurdas? Maybe Lordas? Ceyran didn't really care. Around 2 weeks ago his family were murdered by the cultists of Solstiem, they believed his family were aiding in the return of Mirrak, the first Dragonborn, who was recently defeated by the current Dragonborn.The recent slaughter of his family had distraught Ceyran. He was beginning to starve and didn't care, but his body willed him to move. he got up from the spot where he had been lying for three days and left his room, after a minute of standing lifeless he left his house and stepped into the cold of Raven Rock.He slowly trudged over to the market and bought his food, many people stopped and stared, "Haven't seen him for, many years," some said "not since his family were killed," others would say. he was treated like an outcast. He was about to enter his home when the ground shook wildly. He looked up to see smoke rising from red mountain on Vvardenfell, a nearby island of Morrowind. He quickly ran indoors, dropping his food and slamming the door. He ran to his trapdoor leading to the shelter he and his wife built, should this situation arrive. He closed the door and just in time too, as he shut it he heard rocks flying through the air and crushing people and homes in Raven Rock. He hid there for 16 hours, or so it felt, before opening the door and witnessing what remained of Raven Rock. Roofs caved in, Market stalls crushed and people's burning bodies surrounded by rubble. His home was destroyed. He went back into the shelter before arising with a map, a map to the Skaal Village in the North-East of Solsteim.He walked for days, when he was able to see the Skaal, his feet ached and his chest burned with cold. He managed to make it to their bonfire and collapsed. When he awoke he was in the Great hall with the Leader of the Skaal, Fanari Strong-Voice, stood at the end of the bed. Fanari asked Ceyran his business, to which Ceyran replied, "I seek shelter, for Raven Rock has been destroyed in a recent eruption of Red Mountain."Fanari hesitated to reply to this news, and told Ceyran he may sleep in the village if he gave them his word, he must aid in defence of the village at all costs. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Ceyran woke up in a dark room. It was around 4 am, he had woken early and went to wash himself. After washing himself he went and changed into his Skall clothing and went outside. While outside he could hear the wind. It was a warm breeze, that meant the sun was rising and it was warming up, he took off his winter clothing and put it in his shack. Half an hour later he was talking to another villager when he heard a fiery blaze, there was fire in the main hall and it was spreading, he heard the crackling and screaming of the others trapped inside. Within minutes the entire village was up in a blaze, Ceyran attempted to quench the flames in vain, he had to leave... he ran quickly for a boat and threw what he had in it: some clothes, a cup, water and food for three days. He had to leave, and so he set off for the one place he knew to be safe, Skyrim.As he set of the cold, salty sea air hit him almost instantly, within minutes his teeth were chattering. He had a cut on his leg from last night and decided to splash some water on it to help, "ARGH" he shouted as the salt in the water burned his leg. He soaked a cloth in the water and wrapped it around his leg, he fell asleep, drifting towards Skyrim...He woke up to a start as a horker lunged and hit his boat, he jumped up and grabbed his dagger, plunging it deep into the horker's face. As the horker let out one last roar Ceyran saw a pack of them heading for him when he realised that he had arrived in Winterhold. He jumped out grabbing his pack, sheathing his knife and slinging his bow and quiver over his shoulder as he ran as fast as his legs could move, every step took him several meters forward as he practically jumped through the air. He was clear of the horkers in seconds and arrived in the city within minutes. He walked into the Inn panting like mad as he went straight to the barkeep and asked for an Argonian Bloodale, he rented a room and collapsed onto the bed after drinking the last drop of ale. The next morning he was full of energy and ate a roast chicken leg and a sweetroll. He asked the barkeep, "Where is the best place to get some fish?" "Riften, about a hundered paces south of Shor's stone." He replys and looks up to see Ceyran had left, "I forgot to mention the Bandit camp."Ceyran jumped onto a horse and loaded his bag as his cloak draped over his shoulder. The horse galloped forth and travelled many miles, a few hundered paces past Windhelm he saw a stick with a head on it, blood dripping from the mess of what was once a neck. He grimaced and galloped faster then was thrown forward as the horse tripped over a wire and boulders began rolling his way, the horse was crushed as Ceyran pulled his leg free and ran, he drew his dagger and sword as a bandit jumped down and before the bandit could swipe, Ceyran's blade cut through his chest and exposed his rib bones.Another bandit fell before Ceyran was struck and an arrow was stuck in his back. Ceyran yelled and threw his dagger which cut the throat of the bandit on the bridge. He fell off and Ceyran retreived his dagger before running along the road to Riften as a bandit he had struck in the leg crawled slowly away, Ceyran walked up and stabbed him in the head "For my family." ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Ceyran dripped with rain as he trudged into the inn. He had narrowly escaped death at the hands of the eruption. His family were dead long before this. He had only just come to accept this moments before everything he knew changed for the worse. Fire had engulfed his home and he was now laying on a straw bed at an inn, in Dawnstar. He couldn't believe he finally made it back here. He drifted of, dreaming of what his future may hold.Ceyran woke to a start. The image of a daedric prince from his dream still fresh in mind. He made his way out and payed for a glass of Honningbrew mead. He drank up and left. He dared to steal a horse and galloped to Windhelm in hopes of getting aid. From the stormcloaks.
10466217	The Best Medicine	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "F/F", "Characters": "Sakurauchi Riko, Tsushima Yoshiko, Nishikino Maki", "Fandom": null, "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by ZippyZapmeister", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-27T00:00:00", "words": "2,594", "Additional Tags": "for the record maki's name isn't explicitly said???? but it's her., Alternate Universe - Hospital, kind of., Based off of their job SRs, Disclaimer: Sometimes Card Tricks DON'T Get You Laid, (but sometimes they do)", "Relationship": "Sakurauchi Riko/Tsushima Yoshiko", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!, Love Live! School Idol Festival (Video Game)", "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	The first time she came in, her uniform was covered in tiny holes and bits of cake. Riko had only been a nurse at Nishikino Hospital for a month, and she had seen some weird things, but a girl in a magician’s costume that looked like it had been through a garbage disposal with a bakery in it really stole the show. However, Dr. Nishikino didn’t seem bothered at all. “Oh, it’s Tsushima-san again? I’ll come with you on this one,” she said, tucking her strawberry-colored hair behind her ear. Riko furrowed her brow in confusion, but nodded. She had assumed Dr. Nishikino would have something better to do rather than linger around what seemed like a minor case, but Riko really wasn’t one to question her motives. They walked into the room and Riko looked back at the chart that triage had filled out. Attacked by birds...? That’s new. When they walked in, Riko smiled politely and said, “Good afternoon, ma’am.” The blue-haired girlー”Yoshiko”, her chart saidーsimply grunted. Dr. Nishikino just laughed at her irritation. “This is Sakurauchi-san. I might as well introduce you,” she said, sitting on the hospital bed. “You know, it has been a month since Riko started working here, and you two are just now meeting...I thought it would happen a lot sooner. Either that or you’d died.” “Gee, thanks. I haven’t been close to dying in a year and a half, thank you very much. The great Yohane may suffer from multiple perils...some of which are more dangerous than you’ll ever experience, mind you...but she won’t be defeated so easily!” Dr. Nishikino laughed again, but Riko was shell-shocked. Who the hell was this girl? The magician getup, the odd third-person speech, the bird attacks...Riko was starting to get a bit frightened. The doctor clicked her tongue and said, “Hey, do you wanna go in the bathroom and clean that bird shit off of your jacket?” “Ugh. I might as well throw this awa-” “I-I thought that was cake,” Riko blurted out, watching in horror as Yoshiko took off the hole-filled jacket and shoved it in the trashcan. Yoshiko (Yohane?) tossed her head back and chuckled. “So naive, little demon.” “P-pardon me...?” “Don’t worry, Riko. I’ll take it from here,” Dr. Nishikino said, clicking her pen. Riko wasn’t prepared to argue. That girl gave her the creeps... In the end, it didn’t matter how creeped out Riko was, because a week later, Yoshiko was back. She had a new jacket, but it was covered in holes, similar to the other one. However, when Riko checked the chart, the issue that time seemed to be “rabbit attacks”. That’s bad luck if I’ve ever seen it... Dr. Nishikino seemed to be rather busy that day, so she didn’t have time to come laugh at Yohane’s outrageous injury. For some reason, Riko was nervous about being alone with Yoshiko. At least, she thought it was nervousness. Her heart was racing, and her palms were a little sweaty. In fact, they were so sweaty that when she tried to take notes on her chart, she kept dropping her pen, apologizing frantically as she picked it up over and over again. “Hey, are you new, or something?” “I’ve been here a month,” Riko said. She bent over, searching for her pen. Why was that crazy girl freaking her out like that?! “...Hey.” Riko popped up, blushing furiously. “A-ah, Tsushima-san, I’m sorry, but first I have to find...uh...” Riko trailed off as Yoshiko leaned in close, brushing her hair away from her face and tucking it behind her ear, slowly...almost seductively. Oh, my gosh. This is just like my manga, Riko thought, as the palm of Yoshiko’s hand ghosted over her cheek- “Ta-da.” From behind Riko’s ear came...the pen. “D-did I put it there?” “No. It’s magic, courtesy of the fallen angel, Yohane,” Yoshiko said, as if that was just common sense. “...I must have put it back there and forgotten,” Riko murmured. She wasn’t sure about the pen, but the way Yoshiko made her heart race was definitely some sort of magic. “...Should I be touching this jacket?” “No, no, it’s actually cake this time. I tried to pull these rings apart for my grand finale, and...long story short, I broke a table and my arm hurts in a way that it shouldn’t.” “Ah.” Riko wasn’t sure how Yoshiko had survived a month without coming to the emergency room, in all honesty. Ever since her first appearance, Yoshiko had been coming about twice a week. After three weeks, it was just natural for Riko to see Yoshiko, even though she couldn’t stop herself from getting a little flustered. Between conversations with Dr. Nishikino, her own intuition, and somehow deciphering Yoshiko’s dramatic spiels, Riko was able to discover three things: Yoshiko was a magician; she believed she was a fallen angel named Yohane; and for some reason, she had terribly bad luck that ended up making her a regular patient at the hospital. However, according to the doctor, Yoshiko was awfully good at her job; children found her fallen angel schtick mesmerizing. “If I were miserable enough to have some kids of my own running around, she’d be the one I’d call,” she pointed out one day. Riko actually agreed. One day, Riko grew curious. She had seen one of Yoshiko’s tricks before, with the pen, but the rumors of her wonderful performances had intrigued Riko. As she took Yoshiko’s soiled jacket and folded it over a chair, she said, “The x-ray should be coming back soon, but it seems like your arm is going to be out of service for a bit. Perhaps a fracture.” “I did hit the table pretty hard,” Yoshiko whined, smacking her forehead. Riko almost wanted to ask how separating rings turned into a fractured arm, but she instead said, “Hey, um...while we wait, would you mind, maybe, perhaps, showing me a trick?” “No angel works for free.” Riko blinked. “That...that was a joke. I was just kidding.” She looked embarrassed, and Riko laughed; not at the “joke”, but at the adorably sheepish look on Yoshiko’s face. “So?” “Alright, alright. Hand me the deck of cards out of my bag,” Yoshiko said, waving her hand dismissively. Riko nodded and dug through the back, pushing aside a hat, some rings, and other assorted niceties. Finally, she pulled out a little rectangular cardboard box and handed it to Yoshiko, who took out the cards and shuffled as she spoke. “I’m sure you’ve seen a trick like this on television.” In a manga, maybe, Riko almost said, but she just nodded again, then added, “Careful with that arm.” “I’m willing to sacrifice my health for my crowd of little demons!” Yoshiko bellowed. She looked at the deck for a second, then held it out. “Now, pick a card, if you please.” Riko tried to pick a rather inconspicuous one, just to see if the trick would work. She looked at it, a queen of hearts, then put it back in the deck at Yohane’s instruction. Yohane shuffled the deck a couple of times, tongue swiping across her bottom lip firmly in concentration. Finally, she began to pluck cards out, placing them face-up on the sheet of the hospital bed and disregarding them completely. She came to another card, but she put it down slowly; an ace of spades. “Nuh-uh,” Riko said, shaking her head. “No good...that’s not my card.” Yoshiko scoffed. “I never said it was...after all, this one is.” And then, with a flourish, Yoshiko removed the next card from the deck...a queen of hearts. “N-no way! Did you see it?!” “No...I felt it. A little demon with such a strong essence, like you...it’s easy to sense you all over that card-” “Okay, so you saw it.” “No. I just said no, jeez!” Riko narrowed her eyes. Just as she was about to give in and ask what kind of “magic” Yoshiko performed, exactly, Dr. Nishikino walked in. “Sakurauchi-san! Are you seriously slacking off because of some dumb parlor trick? The x-ray has been done for a while, now...” “A-ah, sorry, Nishikino-san! I’ll get to it-” “Don’t worry, I already have it. Congrats, Tsushima-san, your arm’s fractured. Looks like you’ll be doing nothing but card tricks for a while, unless you find a way to injure yourself doing that, too,” Dr. Nishikino said, tossing Yoshiko her file. “Now, Riko...go round up her discharge papers while I discuss medication. And stay focused, please.” Riko walked away, with her metaphorical tail tucked between her legs. She wasn’t sure what it was, but that fallen magician had captivated her. For about a month after the fractured arm, Yoshiko didn’t show up, and Riko had to admit, it was a tad disappointing. I probably just got used to her, is all, Riko thought. However, taking care of feeble old people and listening to toddlers scream as she drew blood lacked a certain something, all of a sudden. So, when Yoshiko came back, Riko nearly jumped for joy, but she stopped when she heard Dr. Nishikino sigh affectionately next to her, flashing her a knowing smile and shaking her head. “Hm...I’ve got a trauma patient over in 104. You can take care of this,” she said, shoving Riko the file. “Looks like it’s her ankle this time.” Riko took the file gingerly, giving the doctor a smile. For some reason, she felt like Dr. Nishikino was assuming things... As it turned out, “her ankle” meant “she was running from a dog at a birthday party and broke her ankle”. The very thought of it made Riko nauseous. Yoshiko must have noticed, because she snickered after recounting her tale. “My, my, little demon...it seems like you’re not a dog person, if that sour look on your face is any indicator.” “Understatement of the century,” Riko hissed. “My friend has this old geezer of a dog, but he’s just evil.” Riko was polite enough not to add in “I can’t wait until he croaks”, but she was rather tempted. “I don’t mind them...it just seems like my bad luck combined with them is an issue,” Yohane mumbled, pouting. “That makes one of us.” Riko handed Yoshiko a tray that had a paper cup with water in it, along with a small, white, round pill. “Here’s a painkiller. Dr. Nishikino should be writing up your prescription soon. Oh, and...crutches for two weeks.” “That’s the last time I use anything that squeaks in a magic trick...” Yohane sighed dramatically. “Oh, if only someone or something could ease the pain of this ethereal vessel...” Riko nodded towards the pill that Yoshiko was swallowing, then took the tray. “The painkiller should do the trick.” “Ah-ha! You’ve got it!” “What?” “A trick! Let me show you a trick. That’ll make me feel better! Hand me the deck of cards in the blue box, please, along with the marker,” Yohane bellowed, bringing her hand to her face in that silly gesture that Riko hated to find so damn cute. “This fallen angel is about to rock your world, little demon; you must feel rather gratified, no matter how dire this place is.” Well, she wasn’t wrong. Riko didn’t think working at a hospital would be so fun. “...I still have to go get your crutches, so make it quick,” Riko said, rifling through Yohane’s tote. She pulled out the cards and gave them to Yohane. After that, she dug some more and eventually found a red Sharpie, then handed that over as well. “I require your assistance, little demon,” Yohane purred. Riko found it scary, how she almost wanted to say “I’ll do anything”. Yoshiko fanned out the cards, grinning mischievously. Almost frighteningly suave, she said, “Go on, take one and scribble your name on it.” Riko furrowed her brow, but took a card, a nine of hearts, and then wrote her name on it with the marker. Yoshiko took the card, then folded it. “You’re...folding it?” Yohane nodded curtly. “Next, you’re going to hold it between your teeth.” “...I’m not doing that.” “Come on,” Yoshiko said, near whining. “Please?” Riko looked at the card skeptically, then opened her mouth. Yohane pumped her fist in the air a little, then placed the card between Riko’s lips, releasing it as she bit down. Riko had to admit that she was a little bit disappointed that Yohane’s thumb didn’t brush against her lip. She held the card there and watched as Yohane scribbled something on a king of spades, presumably her own name. However, Yoshiko was slightly turned away from Riko, so she couldn’t exactly be sure. Then, she folded that one up and put it in her mouth, with the beginnings of a smirk on her face. Yohane held her hands out, palms up. Riko was nervous, and her hands were shaking (just a little bit), but she took Yoshiko’s hands anyway. Riko was taller, but somehow, she felt preyed on as Yohane leaned in close, so close that Riko could smell frosting and a whiff of perfume. She still had on that little smirk, and Riko wondered if she could kiss it off, maybe... Then, Yoshiko chuckled and leaned back, shaking her head and taking the card out of her mouth. “You looked like you were anticipating something...?” Before Riko could weakly stammer a response, Yoshiko unfolded the card and held it up silently. And there it was. The nine of hearts with Riko’s name scrawled on it. Riko yelped, snatching the card from out of her own mouth. “No, no, no way-” “Wait! Don’t open that. Not until you get home,” Yoshiko said. “What?! Why?! I wanna see what this card is, if it’s not mine,” Riko insisted. “What did you do?!” “You can open it now, but I’d prefer you didn’t, because...it’s for dramatic effect, okay? This trick is all part of a larger trick that I’ve been planning from day one.” Riko blinked hard. Yoshiko snickered, looking away sheepishly. “Fallen angels know how to think big. Just don’t open it until you get home, okay?” Riko sighed, but left the card folded, shoving it into her shirt pocket. “Alright, you win. I won’t open it until I get home...” Fallen angels really did know how to think big. Riko was itching to open the card up all day, but she also didn’t want to spoil whatever trick Yohane had in store for her. Finally, after an excruciating couple of hours, Riko was able to get in her car and drive home. After a quick shower, she pulled the card out of her pocket and plopped on her bed, taking a deep breath. She opened the card, and there, scrawled in print around the edges, were 10 numbers preceded by two words that made Riko’s heart skip a beat: Call me. Riko’s fingers moved at the speed of light as she dialed the number on her phone, blushing furiously. As soon as the ringing stopped, she said, “Seriously? Wasn’t that a bit excessive?” “But endearing, no?” Somehow, Yoshiko’s voice still sounded gorgeous even through the phone. Riko ran her thumb over the face of the card, sighing. “Alright, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. But what’s this ‘big trick’, anyway?” “Oh, well, that’s simple,” Yohane said, chuckling. The arrogant lilt in her voice made Riko blush even harder, against her will. “The trick was...to get your number!”
10434066	this isnt giving up this	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "F/F", "Characters": "Kady Orloff-Diaz, Julia Wicker", "Fandom": "The Magicians (TV)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by callieincali", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-25T00:00:00", "words": "1,525", "Additional Tags": "oh look more angst, wickoff, apparently this is a series now, kady needs to smile, this scene broke me, and now it hurts even more", "Relationship": "Kady Orloff-Diaz/Julia Wicker", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "Kady's POV", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Kady had forgotten the feeling of falling asleep sitting up, head leaned against cold concrete.It must have been years since the last time she was in the unfortunate position. Probably when her mom had locked her out of the house on accident, or when she had sold her daughter's mattress, most likely for some quick money.Either way, Kady thought her days of kinked necks and knotted muscles were long gone.She wasn't even aware of her dozing until the sound of failed attempts to open a locked door pulled her eyes open.For a moment, Kady didn't know where she was, but as the initial disorientation from sleep wore off, the memories returned, carrying a mixture of anger and fear of what was to come.The sleeping spell had worn off surprisingly quick (or perhaps Kady was unaware of how long she'd truly been asleep), but Kady didn't intend for it to last too long, anyway.The jiggling of the doorknob ceased momentarily, meaning its captor was almost certainly trying magic to free themself. Kady thought it to be quite stupid, because if one magician wanted to trap another, they would never keep them in a place that was easily escapable. It would have been far more foolish not to try, though, she guessed.When the ruckus continued, it was aggressive and urgent, and Kady wondered how the shaking of a handle could somehow sound furious. Then again, how could it not?Kady was on her feet in seconds, shaking off the head rush that resulted from the sudden pressure change, her hand pulling at the sliding cover on the door until Julia's perplexed face was revealed behind it. The confusion only deepened when their eyes met.Kady forced a neutral expression to her face, refusing to let any hurt she was feeling show."What the fuck?" Julia was trying to read Kady's air, eyes frantically tracing her face for any sign of emotion."It's called The Clean Room." Her voice instantly betrayed her, shaking and hindering her ability to stop it from cracking. "No magic." The second statement regained its composure, but it was too late. Julia had already seen the vulnerability and planned to act on it. Her newly typical, apathetic smile flashed across her lips before she responded."Did you put a sleeping spell on me?" Her eyes narrowed as if she were mocking Kady's actions— as to ask if she really thought a sleeping spell would be enough to hold her back. In Kady's defense, it was enough. "Open this door." The words started in a yell, emphasized by a fist colliding with the heavy metal, but eventually trailed back to a normal tone.Kady felt her heart pound against the back of her ribs at the hostility, because Julia had never yelled at her before. Even without her shade, Julia obviously favored Kady, like the abortion had nicked every part of her shade except the part that allowed Julia to care for her. Time and time again, the others tried to point out Julia's flaws and lack of a conscience, telling her that Julia was nothing more than a deranged sociopath, and if Kady didn't see that, she was just as insane. Yet, Kady clung to the little things. Like when Julia held her back from crossing the ward that blocked Reynard from Brakebills. Or the brief looks— that couldn't be anything other than sympathy— Kady would sometimes see on the other girl's face when she spoke of something particularly gloomy. They had to mean something.Maybe she was crazy.But the defensiveness Julia was displaying only furthered the need that Kady felt to keep her inside the room. Even if the idea of locking her there indefinitely shattered Kady's heart into a million, sharp pieces; all of which dug into her chest, trapping the air inside her lungs and burning her eyes with tears."I've been trying to understand you." Julia furrowed her brows, jaw slackened, as she tried the latch one last time before dropping her hand to her side. Kady instinctively shook her head in a way that said 'that's not going to work.' "At least, that's what I thought. What I've really been doing," she paused, sensing too much buildup of emotions— and, hell, if she was going to let herself cry in front of Julia— and bit her tongue, preventing the figurative pot of anger from boiling over. "Is trying to make excuses for you."Julia seemed offended by the claim, as if Kady coming to her senses had somehow betrayed a level of trust the two of them had established. Julia without her shade was willing to manipulate anyone and anything to get what she wanted, and Kady had to remind herself of that fact just to hold back the urge to let the suddenly jilted brunette go free."But I can't anymore. Not after what you did to Quentin, today." Kady wanted to bring up his name. Because this wasn't about her feelings towards Julia, it was about the impetuous decisions she made and the inexcusable consequences that could have and did occur."But he's fine, right?" And there was the look Kady knew too well. The one that made her question if Julia was really as emotionless as she acted, or if it was all just some big act to keep herself from getting hurt anymore than she already was. But in that moment, Kady couldn't care less about the idea, focused on the infuriating logic Julia was trying to excuse herself with."That's just luck and you know it." She allowed some of the heat she felt to coat her words, finally raising her voice above the indifferent level she had been attempting to stay at. The accusation didn't particularly resonate with Julia, probably because, in her conscienceless mind, Quentin was fine, and the potential danger she had subjected him to didn't matter, as long as he came out alive. Kady tried again, hoping a different tactic would sting more. "You fed him to Reynard.""He knew how to survive." Julia retorted without much thought."Yeah, by doing what you want." Her fists clenched by her side, itching to punch anything to release some of the rage spreading through her veins.Kady hated this. Hated arguing with Julia. Hated how insensitive Julia was being. Hated the idea of doing anything that could possibly anger or upset the girl. Hated that her closest friend— her 'best bitch'— would no longer be beside her once she walked away."That's all you see anymore is what you want." Her previous train of thought dulled some of the edge in her voice, but still held the desired effect of pulling Julia's head out of her ass, even for a second. Still, the shorter girl reacted as if the allegation was news to her."You don't feel anymore, Julia." It burned Kady's eyes just to say it, but the tears didn't follow, sparing her the embarrassment of crying in front if someone that no longer had the ability to. "Not the way a human does."Julia's visage replaced itself with its familiar nonchalant facade, only adding to the heaviness in Kady's stomach. Because, the truth was, Julia didn't care. And no amount of arguing or shouting could change that."It's not your fault." It felt necessary to include, because it was true. It wasn't Julia's fault. Kady knew Julia— or at least, she used to. And the old Julia— her Julia— would want to know that Kady didn't blame her. She just hoped that part was still able to hear her. Scanning Julia's features only made that hope seem less likely."I hope we can figure something out," she was shaking her head, again, the reason unbeknownst. "But until then, this is it for you."Julia's twisted smile was back, but harbored a different reason; laced with malice and fury. The grin made Kady nauseous. She refused to let herself stare at it any longer, already sure that it was burned into her memories and would fail in letting her sleep anymore that night. "Kady—" Julia hadn't even finished speaking her name by the time the sliding window was shut. The feeling associated with closing Julia inside seared deeper than Kady had imagined it would. The tears were impossible to stop at that point.Spinning to rest her back against the wall for support, Kady slid down the concrete until she was sitting, pulling her knees to her chest, just so her arms could hug them closer.Julia promptly returned to screaming profanities and pounding against the metal, offering the perfect volume for Kady to choke out a few sobs, undetected. Her head fell against the wall behind her and she squeezed her eyes shut, willing herself to see past the anger and just hear Julia's voice. She focused on it, holding onto the sound as if it was the only thing left that kept her from believing the girl was gone forever.Maybe one day she would get her Julia back.The possibility wasn't enough to fill the emptiness swelling in her chest.
10488960	Honest Iago	{ "Archive Warning": null, "Category": null, "Characters": "Iago (Othello), Cassio (Othello)", "Fandom": "Othello - Shakespeare", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by SpaceShark0", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2013-05-18T00:00:00", "words": "956", "Additional Tags": "Bittersweet Ending, Written for a Class", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply", "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Cassio smoothed a creese on his shirt before he approached the council chambers on the far left of the massive room. He pushed the heavy oaken door open with ease as the hinges squeaked. "Do not think me rash, for I am not rash." Cassio said as he hurried into the room, all eyes turning towards him, "Iago will stand trial today." Lodovico stood passive for a moment before turning and exchanging looks with his fellow council."Bring Iago up, it is due time for his crimes to be known. Come council members, let us occupy the courtroom."Iago was lead up the steep marbled stairs, shackles on his hands and a rope around his neck in which a guard pulled him along like a dog. The light from the huge windows hurt his eyes, tears welling in the corners but refusing to break. He was pulled along and shoved into a chair where he was forced in front of a group of council members, each looking on with interest. There stood Cassio who looked uptight as ever as he balled and un-balled his fists."Iago you have been called upon to explain your actions regarding your hand in the matters of murder. Explain your actions with truth and stand to your title of Honest Iago." Lodovico announced as he stood regarding the crumpled form in the chair. "You have been convicted of first degree murder for the deaths of Othello and Desdemona - by your hand regardless of the sword.""What you know, you know. From this time forth I never will speak word." Iago claimed as he regarded them with a look of boredom. Cassio jumped at this opportunity."He hated Othello council members, he thought nothing when he planned the murder of our general for I loved and trusted him." Iago showed no sign of acknowledgement, nearly sitting there with a smirk on his dirty, unshaven face. "He planned for Roderigo to kill me, lope off my head as I was in the way. Roderigo loved Desdemona, lusted after her and I was in his way for her affection." He paused for a brief moment, letting the words soak in to each member of the council. "It was not hard to connect the dots after the events of Othello's death, Iago had manipulated them. That man whom I once called friend planned to kill Othello, not caring who stepped in his path.""If that is true, where is your evidence that Iago killed Desdemona?" A council member asked Cassio, his hand toying with his long silver beard."Iago manipulated Othello to kill his wife by making it seem that I have done his office." Cassio replied."And you have not done his office?""No, I never done his office for I loved her as friend just as I loved Othello.""Then why did Othello think you'd done his office?" the council member asked for he was truley curious as to the actions of the moor."When I was removed from Othello's company, my reputation was skathed. I asked Desdemona to vouch for my place, for I belonged by Othello's side as I loved him. Unless a snide comment passed from gossip or Iago's misleading words than I see not the lie." Cassio paused for a minute, a shocked gasp escaping his lips. "Unless it was the handkerchief!""What handkerchief doth you speak?" Another councilman inquired from the far side of the chamber."Emilia told me of Othello's handkerchief, the one he proffered to Desdemona as a token of his love. I had found it in my chambers, Iago had planted it and Bianca had found it. Othello must have stowed in the shadows when Bianca interrupted our conversation. She did comment about the handkerchief, jealous really she was for she thought I was taking the prize of a flousy." Cassio snarled the last bit, as his hands sought out the hilt of his blade to gip."You are implying that the Othello killed his wife because he was jealous?"Cassio's face remained passive, "That is exactly what I mean.""Due to the lies of Iago, Othello became jealous that you'd done his office and under the guidance of Honest Iago Othello raised his hand to Desdemona?""Tis what I have been saying this whole time. Iago manipulated Othello to kill Desdemona so that Othello would be locked away for murder. It was revenge for Othello gaining a promotion whilst our Iago did not receive a new title for he thought he deserved the title." Cassio explained as frustration crept into his voice. He regarded the council with a confident look etched onto his face."And what doth thy council say in the accusation of Honest Iago? Doth he deserve his punishment for first degree murder?" Lodovico called out, his voice echoing loudly in the chamber. There was quite murmuring amongst the jury, finally a man stood up and the room fell silent."In the eyes of the city, Cassio has proven that Iago is guilty of first degree murder through manipulation of Othello. Cassio is responsible for Desdemona's and Othello's death and thus we see fit to employ the following punishments under law; removal of the tongue for his lies, torture for the rest of his life for for the murder of Othello's and limited food rations for the murder of Desdemona. Council dismissed." Lodovico announced as he glared at Iago's ashen face. Iago seemed not to notice his punishment, more of less looking off into the distance and into the last dying rays of the afternoon sun. Cassio smirked for his victory but he still felt the hurt deep within his chest for the death of his loved Othello and for sweet Desdemona.
10458264	Bound	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Will Graham, Hannibal Lecter, Jack Crawford, Garrett Jacob Hobbs", "Fandom": "Hannibal (TV)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by norgbelulah", "chapters": "7/?", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-26T00:00:00", "words": "17,585", "Additional Tags": "Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Vikings, Slavery, Monks, Will is a monk, Hannibal is a Viking Warrior, Hannibal is a Cannibal", "Relationship": "Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Will woke, pain in his back, arms and legs, to a gentle rocking. His head felt fuzzy and the light of the dawn hurt his eyes. He heard, all around him, the sound of water, the creaking of wood. His head was tilted up and his neck craned. The grey clouded sky engulfing his whole vision. He groaned and tried to lift his hands to his head, only to find them bound across his lap."Monk, you are awake," a rough, strangely accented voice said.Will tried to lift his head and groaned again."Do not move, my friend," the voice said. "I can tell you are hurting. Here."A cup was presented to his lips and cool water, gently poured into his dry mouth. A dark head appeared above him, features shadowed by the sun behind him. Will could not make out the man's features, but he was large, and his voice deep.As he drank eagerly from the man's cup, Will closed his eyes. Flashes of light, angry, fearful red and orange--fire, he remembered--echoed across his vision, in his mind. "No, oh no," he whispered, pushing the cup away. Will opened his eyes and saw the man who had taken him."Good morning, my friend," the man--the monster--said. The northmen had come to his monastery in the night. Will had been sleeping on his pallet, woken by shouting in the distance and screams, pounding at the door. They were in the sanctuary, someone said. They were everywhere.The door burst open, wood splinters flying. Will scrambled across his bed, pressing himself against the wall. A tall warrior, fierce and strong, and carrying an axe, ducked into the low room. He was shouldering a heavy bag--spoils from the sanctuary. There was blood on his hands and his weapon and across his chest.He blinked at Will. Will stood frozen and stared into his eyes. They were an amber brown and they did not seem angry. As he looked, Will knew--as he had known the brutality of his father, the selfishness of his mother, the faithlessness of their priest, who had sent him away from his village to work and die in this place--that this giant northman would not kill him.Will blinked and lifted his chin, then cried out, unable to believe that he was wrong, as the warrior surged forward and something heavy came down upon his head.Will looked about himself now. They were on a small boat. The warrior had been rowing, but now they drifted. They were not far from the shore, heading north. The sack of treasures from the monastery was been tossed haphazardly at Will's feet, which were also bound. Will looked up, squinting from his aching head, and asked him. "Why?"The northman smiled. "You were not afraid, little monk. I thought it was interesting. So, you will come with me." The warrior's hair was long and braided, with waving strands flying away around his hairline. He was painted all over his bare skin, of which there was much. But the black paint had become wet from the sea spray and the blood and so the patterns had begun to drip, almost as though the circles and swirls were weeping. There was black around his eyes, which were streaked as well.His face was like a flat plain, his cheekbones high and his eyes set deep. He looked thoughtful, for the most part, as he rowed them further north. He kept his eyes on the horizon, but he smiled when he looked over at Will and saw himself being studied."We will meet my Jarl and his men at the appointed place," he said. "So your king cannot follow." He tilted his head when Will gave no indication he'd heard or understood. He added, "I am Hannibal."Will still did not speak, but nor did he look away from his captor."What do they call you, monk?"Will turned away, gazing back over the land from which he'd soon be spirited. His head pained him still, so he leaned it on his elbow, which he propped up against the side of the boat. He felt Hannibal's eyes on him, but still, he fell asleep. Will woke again to sounds of speaking, growling voices gradually increasing in volume. He didn't understand the language, but was now familiar with the tone and lilt of his captor's voice. He raised his head, from the bottom of the boat, where he'd slumped while drowsing, to see Hannibal scoop up the sack of treasure from the monastery and thrust it at a dark-skinned man with a shaved head. He was broad shouldered and tall, but not so tall as Hannibal. He looked angry and wary as he took the sack. He peered into it, then looked back at Hannibal, then over to Will.He pointed at Will and said something short and clipped. A question, Will thought.Hannibal answered in one word.The other man raised his brows, but shrugged and walked away."I have given him all of my spoils from this raid, so that he will not claim you."Will stared at him blankly.Hannibal did not seem deterred, as he continued, "You should thank me, monk. Had you gone with the Jarl he would have let his warriors do as they please with you."Will frowned. He peered at his captor, searching, trying to see him in the deep way he could often see others. Somehow, he could not. "You will not do as you please?""I will. But what I please is not rape."Will shuddered. He did not thank Hannibal. Hannibal did not seem upset. He leaned forward and low into the rowboat, knife in hand, and cut the ropes free of Will's ankles. "Come," Hannibal said. "We sail back to Danish lands on the high tide."And sail they did. Hannibal led Will onto his Jarl's ship, tucking him into a corner among the treasure claimed by the Jarl and his men. Will pulled his knees to his chest, wrapping his bound hands around them, among the golden crosses and silver cups and reliquaries of his holy order. He watched the warriors sail their ship, talk and laugh among themselves. And he saw one, a thin man with hunted, shifting eyes, watching him. Hannibal was somewhere helping to sail the ship, but this one, the one who watched Will, was a guard of some kind. He stood near the treasure, but he did not look out across the ship for anyone approaching. He only looked at Will.Later in the day on their first day at sea, Hannibal brought Will some bread and a cup of water. The guard moved away from them, but still stared."He will not hurt you. If he tries, he will answer to me," Hannibal said, following the guard with his eyes. He had washed his face of the dark paint. He looked more a man than a monster now."He doesn't want to hurt me," Will replied as he chewed the stone-stale bread. "He is angry because of me, but not violent. There is...an inequity he feels--""I don't know that word," Hannibal said sourly.Will glanced at him, surprised. He had thought the warrior fluent in his tongue. "Something is unfair to him. He will call you out. He covets the favor you have been given by taking me." Hannibal frowned again, so he amended, "He wants it. To be able to steal a slave."Hannibal watched Will carefully. "There is a rule. The spoils were given to the Jarl for breaking it. He cannot take a slave because he cannot buy so much of the Jarl's favor.” Hannibal’s expression turned questioning. “How do you know this about this man? I know you cannot understand our tongue."Will bit his lip. He should never have said anything. What did he owe Hannibal? He could never seem to keep his mouth shut when his mind told him these things. "I understand the body. How thoughts become movement and expression. I...just know."Hannibal frowned. "You knew I would not kill you in your sleeping place," he said slowly."Yes," Will answered, closing his eyes.Hannibal let out a slow breath, then nodded. "You will tell me if his movements speak more knowledge to you." He stood and went back to his place among the sailors.Will turned away from the guard. He did not want to help Hannibal any more than he already had.Hours later, when the sun was setting, Hannibal returned with more bread and, this time, a cup of ale. Will ate because he was hungry, but did not look at his captor. Hannibal sat with him, watching the guard, who had over the intervening hours begun to look even more angry and mutinous. Will was busy soaking his rock-hard bread in the ale when he felt a wide, warm palm move across the back of his neck. He flinched. His bound hands fumbled with his cup, which spilled at his feet. Will looked up at Hannibal fearfully. Hannibal's expression was calm, almost remote, as he continued to hold Will by the neck. He raised his fingers and brushed them through the tangled curls that hung in front of Will's brow, twisting them slightly, smoothing them down and out of his eyes."You hide your sharp eyes," he said almost thoughtfully. Will's breath caught. "You must use them for me now. Shall I cut this away?" he asked still fingering Will's hair. "Or will you lift your head and look?"Will did not answer. His breath felt heavy in his mouth. His body, which had been struck with pain and exhaustion for so much of his life, felt a strange heat, like a fever that did not ache.Hannibal pressed his grip at the back of Will's neck, then relaxed, and Will's whole body seemed to pulse with it. Hannibal smiled. Will could only watch him and burn."You may think, when I am away from you, that you should not listen to me. That we should not be friends. You are wrong. I am the only friend that you will have here." As he spoke, Hannibal continued to grip Will's neck, then relax, over and over, until it was like a caress. Will whimpered and Hannibal watched his face impassively. "You are starved for touch, little one. I know of your God and the laws of his servants. I have met men like you before. They were slaves as well and they fought their masters. They do not live now. It is my wish that you think upon these words and upon the touch of my hands. I can be a good friend to you. Or, you can die never knowing the things I can teach you."Hannibal glanced away and Will's eyes followed his to the guard skulking in the corner. When Hannibal turned back to Will, he smiled and put his hand--keeping the same grip on Will's neck as before--into Will's lap. Will's mouth fell open in a soundless cry. Hannibal covered Will's mouth with his own, pressing their lips together and moving his mouth as though he wished to devour Will whole. Will burned still and his cock grew hard, even harder as Hannibal took his hand away to stroke Will's cheek. Will's body was so warm that it seemed to melt into Hannibal. His blood pulsed and his hips jerked with it. He moved his mouth against Hannibal's without thought.As soon as he gave himself over, Hannibal pulled away, smiling softly at the weak cries that spilled from Will's sinful mouth. He stroked Will's face with both hands now and said, "There are many things that I can teach you."Will shuddered. He had grown to adulthood with the expectation, and eventually a well-developed pride in the idea, that no one would ever touch him in such a way. But his body shook now with a want that he had never before experienced. He did not know that anything could feel that way. It was horrible and wonderful. He blinked back tears."Hush," Hannibal said and pressed his lips to the corner of Will's eye, as though he wanted to taste the salt of his despair. "Thank you, little one. You have been very helpful."Will lifted his eyes to Hannibal, who was not looking back to where the guard no longer leaned."Y-you," Will tried to speak, finding it hard to catch his breath. "You used me to spur him to confront you." Will frowned, trying to understand."Think it through," Hannibal said.Will bristled and scowled at him. He hurt so much. He was still hot and angry and he'd--he'd sinned with this monster of a man. He'd wanted the sin of their bodies together. Will cast his eyes down the long ship. "There are only twenty men here," he said. Earlier in the day, the men had been rowing to increase their speed, but now they were all resting, drinking their ale and eating their food. "Fewer, I think, to hear his complaints than on land.""Very good," Hannibal said. Will couldn't look at him. He did not want this man's praise. "We have another day until we reach home. You should sleep.""I don't think I will be able to," Will replied. He turned his head to look out across the dark water. He felt heavy, but his mind was whirling. He should pray, but he did not want to with Hannibal there. Abruptly, Hannibal left. Will curled around himself again and thought he might turn his mind inward, when Hannibal reappeared with the cup Will had dropped, now full to the brim again with ale.He handed it to Will, who took it gingerly in both hands. Hannibal leveled his gaze at Will. "This is my share," he said.Will's brows shot up.He moved to hand the cup back, but Hannibal stilled him. "Do not refuse this gift," he said and Will found that he could not. He drank the ale, which tasted sweeter over the bitterness that he'd tasted before, in several long gulps. He could not help but give Hannibal a weak smile as he handed the empty cup back."Very good, little one," Hannibal said. "I think now you will sleep."Will frowned, confused by his certainty, head fuzzy. He was tired now, he realized. Maybe he would sleep. Hannibal patted his knee and smiled. Will swayed and mumbled, accusing, "Your drug works fast.""I can't understand you," Hannibal replied, unconcerned. He caught Will as he slumped forward and spent several moments longer than necessary arranging him among the pile of treasure, wrapping him in a large fur blanket that Will had seen him use as a cloak at the monastery. Will's eyes were heavy, but he fought the drug, which felt more powerful every moment. He thought, vaguely, Hannibal must not want him to see the fight he would have, or wanted him to be a prop, a lifeless thing, not a man with a will and thoughts of his own."No prize," he slurred, trying to get up and failing with the slightest pressure from Hannibal's too warm hands. "Man...soul, Han'bal."Hannibal smiled. "Fair point, little one. But my brothers do not care and you will sleep now anyway. Sleep," he said and stroked Will's head, tangling his fingers in Will's hair. "Sleep."Will did. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Will jerked awake. There was shouting in the distance and someone had laid hands on his body."Hush," a low voice said. Hannibal. Will blinked, bleary-eyed. He gently shook Will's shoulder. "We have reached land, little one. Come."Hannibal helped Will to his feet. He allowed him to keep the fur cloak wrapped about himself and steered him to the side of the long ship where some of the men had already disembarked, sacks of treasure and grain held tightly in their fists. Will looked around, his head aching from whatever Hannibal had fed him. "Where is your enemy?" he asked."We were not enemies, we argued," Hannibal said. "He rests under the waves. He," Hannibal hesitated, "argued poorly."Will said nothing, knowing very well the man was dead and that he and Hannibal had fought. The other warriors watched Hannibal and he talking with a wariness that bordered on suspicion. Will could tell, and was not entirely surprised, that most of the suspicion was directed at Hannibal and not his captive. Will said quietly, "You call them brothers, yet they do not think of you that way."Hannibal's answering smile was tight, but not upset. "I am adopted," he replied, his tone light, as though he might have been joking. Will was slightly galled that he could not tell.Once Will was helped to the dock, he looked around at what seemed to be a small port town. Low huts climbed up a sloping hill to a long building that he guess was some kind of gathering hall. There was a smithy and a small stable sheltering even smaller ponies with pens for sheep nearby.Hannibal touched Will's arm, drawing him away from the town. Women and children had come from the huts and the hall to greet the men who were unloading the ship, laughing and smiling and embracing. There were none to greet Will's captor. The Jarl eyed Will from the dock, even as a beautiful, dark beauty swept to his side. He nodded to Hannibal, who pulled Will away. "We will take my row boat further up the coast and inland by river," he said. "It is faster than going overland.""To where?" Will murmured."Home," Hannibal said simply. Hannibal rowed the boat. Will's hands were still bound. They were bruised now, and aching from the rope. He curled up around the fur at the bow and raised his face to the sky, closing his eyes. He should pray. He should. God would find him in this strange land. How many times had he been told that God was everywhere?"What does your God say, little one?" Hannibal asked.Will wanted to cry. Unlike so many in his order, he had never felt God's words in his mind. He had never felt God's Will on this earth. He had been accused of faithlessness in confession so many times. He had prayed and castigated himself for years. Perhaps this was his punishment."Do your gods speak to you?" Will asked hoarsely, without opening his eyes."I have no gods," Hannibal answered. "Gods are night stories for children to explain the mysteries of the world. I need no such comfort and will not take it from men seeking power over others with words rather than weapons. I have heard men of your God speak and I know they are the same. Perhaps there is peace in your prayer, but in your priests I have seen the same corruption."Will turned his face from the sky. His hands itched for the Bible he had shared with the other lay brothers. He could read it, though not very well, and had been practicing his letters so that he could be given a position in the scriptorium, where they copied the sacred texts for others to read. After he had been taught to read, the Bible had always been the easiest way for Will to understand God and worship him. He knew some passages by heart, but having them written out, permanent and beautiful on the page, had always made them seem more real. More true.Perhaps, as Hannibal said, they were just stories. Will shuddered. He could not believe that. He must not. If he did, God would not deliver him from this place."Do not speak such wickedness to me," Will said and opened his eyes to glare at his captor.Hannibal only smiled and continued to row. Hannibal rowed until dusk and Will dozed. He was weak and tired from little food in the preceding days. His fitful dreams were plagued by strange sensations, memories of Hannibal's hands and mouth on this body and the stomach-gnawing flashes of fear that he had felt the night of the raid. He woke often with a whimper, or choking on a sob, thinking that he would not be able to sleep again. But the rocking of the boat, and the murmurings of Hannibal, often in his own unintelligible language, lulled Will and started the cycle all over again.Will was fully woken at last by the sound of the side of the boat hitting a dock. "Here, little one. We are home," Hannibal said, his voice tired.Will stirred and sat up, clutching the fur around him. It was colder here than at the town, or at the abbey. He still wore only his single habit of un-dyed wool, in which all of his order slept. In cold weather, he was used to two layers of the garment as he went about his work, away from the brazier in the lay monks quarters and his straw pallet.He looked out over the side of the boat and towards another low hut, nestled into a slightly steeper hillside than the town. The surrounding land was the greenest Will had ever seen. His childhood had been spent in a seaside town in Northumberland, where his father was a fisherman. He had traveled down the coast as a youth, sent away to the monks so that he could no longer cause them trouble. Those places were gray and rocky. This place, in the height of summer, almost glowed with greenery, even in the waning light of the evening.Hannibal tied off the boat and pulled Will forward by his hands, causing him to hiss in pain. Hannibal's eyes flashed, not in anger, but something else, and his lips thinned. He pulled a short blade from his belt and sawed at the ocean salt-soaked cords. Will winced as they came away to reveal red, angry marks, and bruising. "It was not I who tied these knots, little one. I am sorry you were hurt," Hannibal said. "Come into my house. I have something that will help."Will looked down at the blade in Hannibal's hand. He flexed his fingers, clenching both fists. He knew he would not be able to take the weapon from his captor. He said nothing, but he could not help let out a sigh of defeat. Hannibal laughed softly at him.Instead of his hands, Hannibal held Will at his elbow and drew him inside the hut. The space was longer than it had appeared from the dock and it was cold, as it seemed to have been abandoned in Hannibal's absence."You live here alone?" Will asked, keeping his voice low. The quiet of the house--Hannibal's apparent solitude--felt strangely oppressive. "Yes," Hannibal answered. "Sit there," he ordered, pointing to a pallet near the fire pit, which was positioned in the center of the structure. "Who took care of your animals while you were gone?" Will asked, looking around to the byre at the back of the longhouse. He saw that it was empty. "Why don't you keep animals?" He amended. He could not imagine living alone. "How do you--""Hush," Hannibal said, returning to his side. He'd lit the fire while Will was looking around and was now spreading a cold, yellow ointment on Will's wrists. "I do keep animals, but not when I go raiding. I bartered the last goat I did not eat for the knife that cut your bonds. Soon, I will sail back to the town and come back with a cow. I hunt and forage more than I farm. There is always a way to survive," he said, looking long into Will's eyes. "You will help, I think, since you are so worried about it."Will blushed. "I'm not, I--"Hannibal laughed at him again, softly, and wrapped his wrists in a clean bandage. Will frowned at it. He rubbed the fabric with the edge of his thumb. It was softer than his habit. Hannibal moved away again, walking to the back of the house. Will watched him bend over something in the corner of the byre. When a moment passed and Hannibal did not look up, Will bolted for the door.He stumbled, once, and scrambled back up quickly, streaking his habit and hands with mud as he made for the boat. He reached it. Heart pounding and with shaking hands, he pulled at the knot Hannibal had tied off on the dock. He looked up as he jumped into the boat and saw that Hannibal had stopped just outside the door to his house. He was looking at Will with an expression that seemed sad, though it was hard to tell at that distance.Will pulled the rope into the row boat and scanned the hull, taking in the oars and some meager provisions Hannibal had not pulled from their hidey hole. He swallowed and bent to pull up the oars."Where will you go?" Hannibal's voice sounded louder than it should. Will flinched and turned to see him now nearby, at the edge of the river bank that the boat was now sailing down. Hannibal was walking, keeping pace with the current. "Home," Will said with a fierce determination he did not quite feel."Where is that?" Hannibal asked lightly.Will scowled, struggling with the oar. He'd been in boats as a boy. He'd gone with his father along the coast and come back with more than his share of food for the table and the market. But this oar, he could barely lift it. It was large and dense and Will was so tired. "England," he replied, growling."Of course, little one. But which direction will you go once you reach the mouth of my river?" Hannibal asked. "Where is England from this land? Do you know?"Will had finally gotten the oars into position. He pulled his weight back but could barely lift them as Hannibal continued, "Will you row across the ocean?""I'll get another boat. I'll sneak onto a ship," Will replied. He was breathing hard now, but he brought the oars down and into the water, then back up again. The little boat propelled forward. But Hannibal kept pace. "You will be found and you will die," he said. "Perhaps they will violate you first. Your God, will he understand your fate? Or will he damn your wickedness?"Will huffed. He had no breath for an answer, no room for thinking as he pushed his body back and forth, his arms up and down."You are tired, little one. You need food and rest. How far do you think you will get?"Will pushed harder. His hands pained him, palms burning, and his wrists, already so worn from being bound, screamed in protest. Will cried out, an animal howl of inevitable defeat. He dropped the oars and fell back, all power leaving his body, into the hull of the boat. He heard Hannibal wade out into the water and retrieve the rope from the bow. He felt the subtle turn of the world as Hannibal brought it around. He stared up at the sky, tears streaming down his face."You are right to fight. It is good that you are strong. But you should make a good plan--to kill me, to escape me, as you like. I do not care, for I will fight too and then we shall see who is stronger and more clever. But think also, of what life you will return to, as I show you what it is to live as I do.""I don't want to know," Will mumbled petulantly, curling around himself. He'd left Hannibal's fur behind. This was a cold place, even in summer.Will could hear the smile in Hannibal's voice as he replied, "I am sorry, little one. But you will."A moment later, the boat bumped up against the dock and Will looked up at Hannibal, standing over him, tying the knot. When he was finished, he looked down and into Will's eyes. "It is hard, leaving places we know for places we do not."Will scowled at him and did not get up.Hannibal left him there. Will thought about praying for strength. He wasn't sure how long had passed until Hannibal returned. When he did, he climbed right into the boat, rocking it wildly as he stepped past Will towards the bow. There, he bent down and wrapped something around Will's ankle. Something else clanked against the hull. Hannibal had dropped something heavy.Will sat up to see it was a chain. He stared at it in horror, then looked up at Hannibal. "Please," he said. "No."Hannibal did not look sorry. "I would not have put it on you had you not run.""Please, Hannibal," Will whispered.Hannibal blinked at the sound of his name on Will's lips and he smiled. "You will have rein to walk here to the riverbank and through or around the house to the edge of the woods."Will shook his head."Yes, little one," Hannibal assured him. ""You will wear my chain until you do not want to go. I am patient. You will see. You will stay with me." "No," Will said. The word, forced between his teeth, was not of defiance, but of the swirling cloud of fear in his mind. He continued to cry.Hannibal looked at him sadly. "You will see," he said as though there was no doubt in his mind.He patted Will on the head as he climbed from the boat. His fingers lingered through Will's curls. "I have grain stores we will eat tonight. Come and I will show you how to cook it."He did not pause or turn back to see if Will would come. Will did not. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Will was awoken in the dark by Hannibal's arms gently lifting him up and out of the boat, first under his arms, then cradling him like a baby. Will instinctively curled into his warmth. "You are a fool, little one," Hannibal said. "Did you want the cold to take you?"Will's teeth were clenched, freezing, so he did not answer. Hannibal laid him down on the pallet next to the fire and pulled the fur over his body. Will pulled it around himself gratefully. He watched Hannibal watching him through bleary eyes. After some time, Hannibal mused, "You did not eat and you have lain long in the cold. I wonder if you shall become ill."Will turned away and slept again. He did not become ill, but he did sleep halfway through the next day. when he woke, Hannibal shoved a bowl of gruel into his hands wordlessly. Will ate, shoveling the food into his mouth so quickly that he did not taste it until he was almost finished. When he was finally able to savor the last few spoonfuls he looked over at Hannibal, who was sharpening the blade of his axe, and said, "This is very good."Hannibal looked up. "Thank you," he said. And then a word in his own tongue that Will took to mean the same. Will repeated it back to him and Hannibal smiled at him."You understand that you are not going anywhere, do you not, little one?"Will let out a slow breath and nodded."Good," Hannibal said and something low in Will's belly warmed at the simple word of praise. He pressed down the feeling. He should not crave such a thing, not from this man, who tore him from his life and his God. "Things will go better for us both if you..." He paused then, and Will realized he was searching for a particular word. "Cooperate," he said at last, speaking carefully. "Yes?"Will wasn't sure if we was asking if the word was correct or if Will would do it, but he nodded slowly regardless. He did not want to be cold and hungry anymore. He did not want to cause harm to Hannibal, even if he was Will's captor. He would be a good Christian. Perhaps it should have occurred to Will before that he could Witness to Hannibal, he could teach him the Word of God.Hannibal smiled, as though something were funny, and said, "Very good, little one." He said, then spoke a word in his own tongue that sounded very much like, "good." Will said that back with the same accent. He flinched when Hannibal patted his arm and said the word again. "There is little food here now, so I must go into the forest to hunt," Hannibal said, lifting his ax. "While I am gone, I would like you to clean the dust from this place and air it out. I was away some months a-raiding."Will pressed his lips together and nodded again. "Do not expect me back before dusk. My prey often emerge when shadows lurk among the trees." And then he left, striding out of the back of the longhouse and up the hill and into the forest beyond.Will watched him until he disappeared and then he walked out towards the river. His chain would let him reach the edge, to fetch water he supposed, but no further than a foot into the slow current. Will picked his way, barefoot as he was, in the large circle the chain would allow him around the house. The chain itself was affixed to a heavy slab of stone by a large nail that seemed to have been driven into it. If Will walked through the house and out the back, he could reach the edge of the woods into which Hannibal had disappeared.Will went back inside and tugged at the chain. It clearly wasn't going anywhere and Will was positive, even if he could find a tool with which to chip away at the stone, it would take him much longer than the scant hours Hannibal would be gone and he would most certainly notice any damage Will might cause to it.With little else to do, and a lifelong practice of never being idle, Will began to do as Hannibal directed him; he cleaned.Despite a different layout, and actually a little more space, the house itself was not so different from the one Will's mother had kept at the seaside in Northumberland. There were more furs and heavy blankets that needed to be aired out, and a bit more floor to be swept, but Will found the tasks grounding in a way that working in the fields and yards of the abbey had never been for him.The day passed quickly. When Will judged it to be late afternoon, he took a break to reheat some of the gruel that Hannibal had made for them the previous night. After he finished, he left a pot of water boiling on the fire for Hannibal to wash up with when he came back. He was pulling some of the furs back inside from where he had hung them to air out, when he heard the unmistakable sound of oars slipping through the water at his back. He stiffened, turned fearfully, and saw a single man in a row boat much like the one that Hannibal had left tied to the dock.The man was one of the raiders who had traveled with Hannibal and his Jarl. He had seen Will before, had witnessed whatever it was Hannibal had done to that guard. As he rowed closer, Will could see hate and calculation in his eyes. Will knew this man was a friend of the dead man and was here to take Hannibal's prize from him in retribution.Will bolted into the house, sprinting through to the back door by the byre. As he knew it would, though his mind had not yet caught up to his fear, the chain caught and held him back just at the edge of the trees. He stumbled and fell with a cry. He turned back to the house. The man had come around the side of it. There was a short sword in his hand and murder in his eyes."Hannibal," Will shouted into the trees. He got up again and scrambled back into the house. There were weapons there. At least one Will had noted. A huge axe, mounted on the wall above Will's pallet, and several knives for cooking and eating.The man yelled something at him, something clipped and angry. A yank on Will's chain pulled his leg out from under him before he could reach the wall and sent him barreling to the ground. Will clawed at the floor. He heard himself screaming and realized it was Hannibal's name, over and over again, as his assailant reeled him back toward the byre like a fish on a line. Will struggled in vain. He was pulled back and back, but as he passed the fire at the center of the structure, his eyes caught on the pot of water. Desperately, he reached for it, screaming as the hot iron handle scorched his palm, but holding it steady enough to cast the boiling water into the eyes of the man who would kill him.The chain went slack and Will scrambled away, hitting his back against the wall next to his pallet, where he could stand and reach for Hannibal's axe. If only his legs would work, he could get it. He could try. He looked up at it desperately and whimpered.The man was screaming again, pressing his hands to his face. He'd fallen to the ground, but was rallying quickly, an animal growl escaped his lips which were twisted in a grotesque scowl. He reached again for Will's chain.Before he could touch it, a sword emerged from his chest. His reddened eyes bulged in surprise and blood dribbled from his open mouth. Hannibal stood behind him with an utterly blank expression on his face.Will was frozen. His legs still would not work, nor could he speak as Hannibal's cold stare transferred from the man he'd just run through to Will cowering in his home, clutching at his hand.Hannibal blinked, put his foot against the man's back, and with a tug, pulled his sword from flesh. A fresh spray of blood emerged. Will made a choking sound he could not stifle. Hannibal calmly cleaned his blade on his tunic, sheathed it, and made his way over to a rack hung on the wall with jars and bottles filled with things Will had not been able to identify as he was cleaning. He plucked something from its place and pulled a tightly wound ball of that white bandage from another.He then approached Will very slowly and sat down next to him on the pallet. He looked directly into Will's eyes as he spoke. "Spread the amount of these herbs you can hold between your thumb and first finger over the burn, little one. Then wrap it in the bandage. Keep it dry. No water to wash it. No ointment from yesterday for this wound. Do you understand?"Will nodded.Hannibal stood and wrapped the fur cloak Will had just taken down from the line around his shoulders. "I will return as soon as I can," he said. He turned then and picked up the dead man, throwing the weight of him over one shoulder as though he were only a sack of grain. He walked out of the house and into the trees. Will could only watch him go. He was not sure how long he sat there, staring after him, mind terrifyingly, blessedly blank, before he remembered Hannibal's instruction. After he was finished, Will curled around himself and the fur and tried to find sleep.He did not find it. He laid awake and shivered, though he was not cold, not with Hannibal's cloak over him. Long after dark, Hannibal returned carrying a sack that he revealed to be many cuts of meat from what looked to be a large animal.Will stared at them for a long while as Hannibal washed his hands and face, in water he heated himself, and set another to boil, presumably for food.Finally, Will found his voice. "What is it?""Pig. A wild one." Hannibal's answer seemed short. Incomplete, somehow.Will frowned at him in confusion. He was having a hard time forming thoughts, questions. He was tired. Exhausted. Yet he had not slept. He asked eventually, "You butchered it in the forest?"Hannibal looked up from where he was poking through his herbs and potions along the wall. "I thought to spare you," he said.Will shook his head. His tongue felt thick in his mouth, so he spoke slowly. "My father was a fishmonger when he caught more than we could eat. I spent my childhood in a market stall with him. The butcher worked next door. I was no scholar for the monks either, Hannibal." He looked up at his captor, who had saved him. "I know how to gut an animal."Hannibal surveyed him. "Yet you hesitated to take down my weapon and gut the man who would kill you?"Will looked away. "I-I couldn't," he said. Though he had wanted to. Would have, if he could. "You would not, when death is inside this house?" Hannibal's tone was incredulous. "When it holds the chain that binds you?" Will flinched when Hannibal wrapped his fingers around the links and shook the chain. His expression softened minutely and he immediately dropped it."You were afraid," Hannibal said then, as though he was astonished."Of course," Will murmured huddling into the cloak, hiding his face. "I told you, I was not afraid of you only because I knew you would not kill me."Hannibal approached him so softly, Will jumped when warm fingers brushed the curls at his forehead to the side. "It clings to you," Hannibal said softly. "Fear." Will shuddered. "It attacks your body and mind, as Garrett would have done." he frowned at Will, seemingly perplexed.Will shut his eyes. He wished Hannibal would not have named the dead man. His bulging eyes would haunt Will's dreams no matter what. To give him a name meant Will would need to think of it when he prayed for the man's soul.Will began to cry.Hannibal made a low sound, very faint, and moved once again to Will's side. "Ah, little one," he breathed as he pulled Will into his arms. Will went without protest. He did not cling. He only cried harder.Hannibal ran a soothing hand through Will's hair and began to speak, so softly, in his own tongue. Every so often he would say something in English, like, "Lie down now," then, "Watch the fire, little one. It will chase your thoughts away."Will thought at some point he mumbled, "I should pray for him." But if Hannibal responded it was only in the slow murmur of his own language, which did not cease for an amount of time Will could not grasp. Eventually Will was lying with his head pillowed in Hannibal's lap, his eyes unfocused on the lazily flickering fire. He was warm and comfortable and his mind felt pleasantly fuzzy. He thought, fleetingly, just before he fell asleep, that he was not sure that he'd ever felt so good in his life. And that feeling, in particular, was the most dangerous of all. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- They worked for the next two days to smoke, salt, and pickle most of the pork Hannibal had brought from the forest. Will had done work of this nature before, but Hannibal was unusually particular about the processes. He explained each step in great detail--as great as his skill at English would allow anyway--and did not hesitate to correct Will's efforts when he felt it necessary.Will was, to his surprise, charmed by how fastidious his captor could be about such things. It seemed strange a man of his demeanor, looming so large and so strong, would be so preoccupied with the minutiae of the meat he put into his body. Yet, Will soon learned that Hannibal was just as particular about everything else that he ate, and also a great many things that he made with his hands or used in his home.Will, not wanting to make waves or show ingratitude for his life after his encounter with Garrett, took the direction gracefully. So much so, in fact, that Hannibal praised him often, repeating that word that sounded so much like good, but full and round in a way that settled warm and low in Will's belly.He also taught Will how he liked the tools and other items they used to be cleaned and where to place them when they were finished with their work. Everything in Hannibal's home had a place that followed a logic, a way of thinking and moving, that was suited particularly to Hannibal. It made Will feel clumsy and strange because he could not move through his work in the elegant, dance-like way that Hannibal did. And he felt stupid and forgetful when he did not immediately reach for something when Hannibal requested it from him.In the evening, after it was too dark to continue their work preserving the meat, Hannibal showed Will how he preferred to roast the few fresh pieces he had kept back. He showed him where he stored his root vegetables and dried grains, beans, and even some fruit. Will marveled at the sophistication of Hannibal's diet and said as much, admitting, "Even the Abbey, which employs the work of ten other lay monks like me could not support the propagation of such a variety of foods."Hannibal smiled, clearly pleased at Will's astonishment. "Ah, but I feed only myself, and now you, little one. The place you used to live must feed many people, must produce much more. Nearly all of my time is spent in the pursuit of this sustenance, both farming and foraging, to live, to enjoy, while your former brethren eat only for the energy to praise your god, yes?"Will frowned at the implication that Will was no longer a monk, even though he did no longer live at the Abbey. But he did not challenge the idea, saying only, "Yes, you're right." He asked then, "What do you do with the time you do not spend on sustenance?" Will had not had time he could call free since he was a small child. Even a little of such a thing seemed quite beyond him. He felt intrigued by the idea and then almost immediately guilty. He wished he hadn't asked, but the question could not be taken back.Hannibal closed the door to the dry store with a faint smile. "You shall have to wait and see, little one."Will thought to himself that he would not. He would pray, like he was supposed to. He would contemplate and worship God, like he had somehow not been able to bring himself to do since he was taken away from the Abbey. Since he had first laid eyes on Hannibal. Some days later, Hannibal said he was going to the town--the one where the Jarl lived--to barter for a cow and a sheep. He seemed pleased at the prospect so Will smiled and said, "I will await your return."Hannibal laughed, making Will's cheeks flush. "No, little one. You shall come with me."Will frowned. "Why?"Hannibal's expression was inscrutable. "Does it matter? This is what you will do."Will glared. "Will you hold me by a leash then? In front of your town?""Will you make me?" Hannibal asked, tilting his head. Will cast his eyes down. He realized his hands were tangled in the chain at his feet. No, he could not run. He knew that. He shook his head."Will you follow me then, and do as I ask you to do?" Hannibal leaned forward and took Will's chin in his two fingers. Will did not want to look in his face. "You are afraid again," Hannibal said, once more sounding far too surprised. "I will protect you from the men, as I have done twice now. Do you doubt me?"Will had to look into his eyes as he protested, "No, Hannibal. I don't." He had not meant to speak those words so emphatically. Why shouldn't he doubt this man? He was a villain, a murderer, Will's captor, a barbarian of a terrifying horde. He could be the devil himself. Will should absolutely doubt him.Yet he had said that he did not and Will was not in the practice of lying.Was it only that Hannibal had saved his life? That they had prepared meals together, had broken bread side by side at Hannibal's fire. He was a terribly inscrutable man, one who possessed the most veiled mind that Will had ever encountered. How had Will come to deny any doubt in this man if he could not see him as he so clearly saw others?Will blinked and hastily added, "I do not doubt you wish me to be alive and safe and live with you here. I know you will not let harm come to me in your town.""Then?" Hannibal seemed genuinely curious."It doesn't matter," Will replied. His eyes skittered away from Hannibal's, but his captor's hold on Will's chin did not flag. "You will go if I say you go, little one. You will answer when I ask. What is it you fear about the town?""The people," Will managed to reply. When Hannibal did not let go and did not look away, Will added, "Their eyes. Their...judgement.""You feel shame for being my slave," Hannibal said.Will said nothing. He jutted his jaw. Hannibal's grip did not waver.Hannibal's eyes held questions, which he did not hesitate to voice. "Does not your God love even one brought so low as you? Is it not only his judgement you care for?"Will's eyes flashed and he finally jerked away from Hannibal's hold. "No one is without sin," he spat. "I never thought I had much pride, but..." He could not finish speaking. If he knew his sin, he should strive to overcome it. If it was pride that balked him, he should swallow it, even if doing so were to benefit Hannibal, who he should not trust.Hannibal surveyed him and did not move out if Will's space. "You may walk untethered if you swear upon your God you will not run. If you run, little one, I will hobble you and it will be a great inconvenience to us both.""If I swear to God that I will not," Will answered, "and if I do run, worse is in store for me than a hobbling."Hannibal smirked at him. "Is there?"Will scowled and said, "I swear to The Lord, my God, that I will not run from you when we go to the town today, Hannibal."Hannibal laughed. "You were born to speak at the ting, little one, and say the laws." He turned away and took the great axe down from his wall. He levered it, holding it loosely above the thick leather cuff around Will's ankle. He grabbed the chain with his free hand. "Hold the chain taut," he instructed to Will.Will did, fearfully pulling his leg as far away as the chain would allow. He cried out when Hannibal brought the axe down a hair's breadth away from his flesh. Hannibal smiled. "You will carry the sack." As they rowed toward the town, this time in tandem, Will felt compelled to explain himself further. He said, "It's not just their judgement."Hannibal said nothing, but met Will's eyes in a way that showed his piqued interest."I used to play a game at the market stall with my father," Will said. "When men came to barter for the fish, I would cough to tell him how much higher they would go.""We shall have to play a similar game today, then little one," Hannibal said with a smile.Will looked away. "It was all fine when it put more pennies in our coffer, but I wasn't...I was only a boy. I wasn't always right. When I wasn't, Father would be angry. He would hit.""You are worried I will hit you?""No," Will said, shaking his head and surprising himself. But he felt deeply that he knew Hannibal was not a man who struck in anger. Not over pennies or cows. "I only told you because..." Will wasn't sure how to continue. He didn't know why he wanted so badly to tell Hannibal everything. "Soon it wasn't just at the market for fish and pennies. Soon they wanted me to tell them secrets. Things I could see that no one else knew. Our closest neighbor's newborn babe was not her husband's. The tavern keeper kept money back from his tithe, a little every month to save for thatching his roof. Father wanted to steal it. He wanted a bigger boat to catch more fish for more pennies. He took me there, to see if the man would give away his hiding spot. But Mother was wracked by guilt and told the priest."Hannibal made a noise of understanding, of sympathy perhaps. Will continued to row and kept his eyes on the horizon at Hannibal's back. "He could have called me a witch, had me burned or drowned. My father had made that clear enough when all of it began. I don't think they ever thought that's what I was, but they knew what the church could do. They encouraged me anyway, of course."Will chanced a look at Hannibal, who was watching Will almost hungrily.Will continued, "But the priest didn't do that. He refused to believe I had any such talent at all, called me a liar, the worst of all sinners, and sent me to the Abbey. Sent me specifically branded a liar and unworthy, so they shunted me to the lowliest of places, the harshest of duties. And I was told to--and eventually I did--love and thank God for all of it.""Would you rather have been a fisherman?" Hannibal asked quietly."I don't know," Will said. "For so long I thought...it seemed as though I was destined for my monk’s life. I was at peace with it.""You are not now?"Will laughed hollowly. "You're the one who keeps saying it's not my life any longer.""And you do not pray."Will shuddered. He had known that Hannibal knew about his religious crisis. It was still uncomfortable to voice the truth. "No, I don't.""Yet you speak as though your faith is still in tact.""It is," Will protested. He pulled up on the oars, held them up and out of the water too long. Hannibal followed suit and they drifted down the river, staring at each other. "I still believe. I do." He knew his words sounded defensive, desperate. He said them anyway. "I just don't want to talk to God right now."Hannibal said. "You are angry with him."Will refused to voice that truth. He was angry, certainly. But the tone and burn of the anger was so similar to that of his roiling, conflicting feelings toward Hannibal himself, he might as well be refusing to pray to his captor. Will's stomach churned at the blasphemous thought. He buried his head in his hands."Little one, I am so pleased you told me of your life and faith, but this does not explain why you fear the town," Hannibal said gently.Will laughed again and pressed his hands to his eyes. Perhaps if he could not see them..."I am not afraid of the town," he said slowly, not lifting his head. "It is the people I fear. That I will know them too well. That they will see what I am and I will see myself in their eyes when they fear me.""You fear yourself. Your...talent.""I read strangers about as well as I read words on a page," Will confessed. "Not fluently, but like a puzzle I cannot look away from. It is easy to look away from friends, from people I know and see often. My sight, my...knowing is clouded by my memories of them. They become unclear. It's better that way. I grew used to the same faces at the Abbey. It was easy to pretend I had no talent at all. Until I saw you, I was almost convinced I had lied to them all."Hannibal's touch, just at his wrist, drew both of Will's hands away from his eyes. He looked up and saw nothing no other man would know in Hannibal's expression, which was pleased, somehow, and calm. "There is a simple solution to these worries."Will's mouth fell open. "There is?""You shall keep your eyes on the ground," Hannibal replied. "And you shall only look at the people of the town when I say you shall."Will stared at him."If your god does not want this gift, little one, I shall savor it."That is how Will came to walk the muddied streets of the Jarl's town at the mouth of the river with his eyes downcast, looking only at the heels of Hannibal's boots. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Will could hear the people talking. He didn't understand them, but he heard them. It was easy to assume they were talking about him, but as he could not see their faces, it was just as easy to believe they were not. Will found himself smiling softly as he walked.He stopped when Hannibal did and allowed himself to be pulled forward alongside his captor. He kept his eyes down and found himself actually leaning into Hannibal's arm, steadying himself on Hannibal's strong frame. Hannibal spoke in his unfamiliar tongue and the only word Will could pick out was the one that meant 'good.' He said it at the same moment his hand came to rest at the back of Will's head, sending a thrill down his spine and warming his belly in a way that was distinctly terrifying. Will trembled and whoever Hannibal was speaking to laughed.In that moment, Will prayed out of a sincere, silent desperation. Forgive me, forgive me, forgive me. Hannibal and the man Will had not yet looked at began to debate something. Will could tell by the patter of their exchange. The air smelled of animal: shit and hay and over-ripe fruits. Hannibal walked them into a stable and said, "Give me the sack and look about yourself, little one."Will, God help him, lifted his eyes. The stable was unremarkable, as was the man. Somehow, Will had been expecting more. The man looked into Will's eyes and snorted, then mumbled something to Hannibal. Will didn't need to know his language, he could see out of the man's eyes. And so he did. The slave who stands before me fights not a whit. Not even captive of the warrior for a full month, he has been so thoroughly tamed, I am frightened. I know that the warrior is not from my lands, is not of my people, and I have been wary of him. Now, as he stands before me with his thrall, I will do anything I can to get him gone. "Speak your mind," Hannibal said to Will softly. "He understands none of your tongue."Will knew this. This man feared many things. He would never have been so curious as to seek out knowledge of a foreign land or language. "You frighten him, More so because I appear so tamed by you. Whatever you wish, he will give away for a song. Unless the giving will take away from his bare livelihood."Hannibal did not look at Will as he spoke and he reacted in no outward way, yet he said, just as soft as before, "He does not appear afraid."Truly, the man did not. He gazed at Hannibal with clear, steady eyes. He was not shaking or sweating. He only watched, with a slight, strange, smile on his face. The cow he'd brought forward was small, but it was only a heifer. Will knew animals enough to know that."No," Will replied simply. Then said, "Has she been bred?"Hannibal shook his head. "Her dam calved two at once, Hrolf has no need for her and cannot afford to feed her much longer. I have a neighbor who will breed her for me when the time comes.""Then you knew that she could be bought for little enough," Will said, turning now to Hannibal, who smiled. "What need have you for me?""Much, I think, in the future," Hannibal replied as he dug into the sack and produced a thin silver bracelet. Will eyed the object, unsure if it had come from the coffers at the Abbey. It could have been something Hannibal had come across before, or it could have been a donation from one of the fine ladies of Northumbria.Hannibal tore the bracelet in half with a twist. The man's eyes widened and he held out his hand, stammering something in their language. Hannibal dropped half the bracelet into the man's hand and smiled, grunting something that Will interpreted to be thanks. He took the rope tied around the heifer's neck."Come, little one," Hannibal said. Will followed, casting a parting glance at the man. He saw that the fear this poor farmer felt was just as much of Will as it was of Hannibal. Will let his gaze fall back to Hannibal's heels and, despite himself, he smiled. Hannibal paid visits to a blacksmith and another farmer, from whom he bought a hen and a rooster. He did not ask Will to look anywhere other than the ground for the rest of the time they were in the town. Will looked up of his own volition when his feet took him to the dock where they had tied up the row boat.He turned to Hannibal at his side. "What will you do with the heifer?" he asked. "She can't go in the boat."Hannibal smiled. "Indeed not. I will walk her home. You will row with the chickens."Will blinked at him.Hannibal seemed amused. "It will be a leisurely journey, as you will stay within my sight from the riverbank. If you do not, I will slaughter her, hunt you down and hobble you, and we will have no milk for still another year."Will nodded. "I don't think I could row much faster upstream anyway," he said. Hannibal chuckled at him, but Will was serious, so he frowned."Good, little one," Hannibal said. Will felt that warmth, the one that was rapidly becoming so familiar, the one that could at any moment burn fever hot, curl in his stomach. His eyes widened. He almost pressed his hand to his belly. The pet name felt too right. Not strange enough anymore. So he said, "My name is Will."Hannibal raised his brows, quirked his lips into a thing that was not a smile, and said nothing.It was only after Will had tied off the boat and let loose the chickens, when Hannibal came out the back of the house from where he'd bedded down the heifer in the byre and said, "Will. Come," that he realized the mistake he'd made.Helpless, Will went. Hannibal did not chain Will again that night, nor the day after. They did not speak of it and when Will strayed in the waning light of the afternoon to the edge of the woods, looking out into the trees in search of something he wasn't sure of at all, Hannibal only had to speak his name to turn him back towards the house."Will," he said. It was just the second time Will had heard it from his lips.Tears welled in Will's eyes and they spilled down his cheeks as he stumbled away from the woods, to Hannibal, who he had somehow forgotten how to hate, who he'd never really known to fear. He thought of the farmer who'd feared Hannibal, feared Will too. He thought of his own pleasure at such wickedness. I am your thrall, he thought wildly. You think--no--you know, that I will not run from you now."Oh, little one," Hannibal said softly when Will came near enough that he could see his tear-streaked face. He said something in his own language and lifted a hand, reaching out to cup Will's face.Will allowed it for only a moment, only the barest touch of Hannibal's fingers across his cheek, before he jerked away. He glared at Hannibal, who gazed steadily back at him."Hobble me," Will said in a shaky voice."No," Hannibal replied.Will felt something large and hot rise up in him like a wave. Hannibal caught Will's arm before it could strike across his face. Will's lip curled disgustedly and he growled as he tried to pull away. Hannibal held him fast. Another animal sound, this one mournful, pitiable, fell from Will's lips as he struggled.Hannibal spoke again in his own language and Will heard his own name among the strange, musical words. He let out a sob as Hannibal pulled him into the house by his arm."I'll run," Will said through his tears. "I'll run. Tomorrow I will. Hannibal."Hannibal deposited him by the fire and murmured more words Will did not understand. Will sank to his knees. He could not catch his breath."Hobble me. You said you would. Hannibal. I'll run, I swear it."Hannibal crouched low. He caught Will's chin between his two fingers and stared into his eyes. Will could not look away. His breath was too fast and his lip trembled."Do you swear it to your god?" Hannibal asked.Will choked out another sob. "Please," was the only word he could manage to speak.What God? he thought to himself and cried harder."I'll run. I'll run," he insisted."No, little one," Hannibal said softly. His hands cradled Will's face now, and his fingers sunk into Will's hair, carding softly through his curls. Will's breath hitched as his body betrayed him and he relaxed into Hannibal's touch. "You will not."Will looked up at him and wept anew because he was right. He'd always been right and still Will did not hate him.Hannibal moved away moments later. Will let out a pathetic whine when his hands fell from Will's head. But he was not gone for long, returning swiftly with a steaming cup of something hot, which he passed to Will. "Drink it," he said. Will remembered the drugged ale he'd taken on the ship and, helpless as ever, drank the stuff anyway. It did not taste the same. This was not ale, but something mulled and fruity. It tasted good. "You wish me to sleep?" he asked after he drained it. The words felt thick on his tongue."Only if that is what you wish," Hannibal replied. He settled across the fire from where Will knelt. He began to prepare a meal. Will liked to watch Hannibal cook. He'd never allowed such a thought into his mind before, but now he let his enjoyment settle around him. He always liked to watch Hannibal cook. Usually, he would help in some way, but now he settled on the floor, his back leaning against the bench around the fire, and he watched Hannibal because he liked to watch him. He found himself smiling as Hannibal cut several vegetables and put them in his new iron pot where water was boiling. He smiled wider when Hannibal caught his eye. "Good, Will," Hannibal said. "You are doing what you wish to do."Will made an agreeable sound behind his closed mouth. His head felt pleasantly fuzzy. "Drugged me again," he made his mouth say.Hannibal smiled as he worked. "You knew that I had."Will hummed his assent, his eyes caught on Hannibal's swift hands. He thought he would like them in his hair again."Perhaps," Hannibal said, as though Will had spoken. Had he? "Where else would you like them?"Will blinked. "Don't know," he murmured. He felt warm now, not just because the fire was burning hot and the water was boiling so close to him. He felt the heat under his skin. He pulled at his habit."Would you like me to teach you the things we spoke of on the Jarl's ship?" Hannibal's hands had stopped moving. The lid was on the pot and Will's mouth was parted as though he were about to speak. There were no words in Will's mind, though. He only felt hot.Will pulled his habit over his head. He wore only a loin cloth underneath it, but he didn't care. He felt a relief so keen that he laughed with it. He rubbed his hand through his hair and smiled, blinking hazily at Hannibal."You're beautiful, little one," Hannibal told him.Will made a shushing sound and shook his head. He should pray for Hannibal, he thought, for being a liar. But Will didn't pray anymore. He didn't like to. Maybe he had never liked to pray. He blinked at that thought and smiled again. "I don't like to pray," Will told Hannibal."Right now, you should only do things that you like, Will," Hannibal said and Will nodded. If he didn't like it, why was he always thinking about praying? "What else will you do?"Will thought about it for a moment. He had worked in the fields and the yard at the Abbey and prayed. He didn't like those things. He did like working here with Hannibal. Cleaning the house and preparing the meat. His thoughts skipped back to his childhood, which somehow came more easily to his mind than anything else. He smiled and said, "I like swimming. Can we swim, Hannibal?""It is night now, little one, and the water is too cold. We will swim another day."Will hummed again and said, turning his head toward the door, "I like to fish. Can we fish? It's not too cold for them to swim."Hannibal seemed delighted by something. His smile was fleeting, disappearing and reappearing in an instant, but his eyes were bright as he watched Will. "It is still night and too dark, little one, to see the fishes. We can fish another day."Will frowned. He did want to do something. But he didn't know what he liked, it seemed. At the Abbey he'd risen with the sun and there was no lamp or fire in the room where he slept. At night, he was to pray and sleep. But he didn't want to sleep and he didn't like to pray. And Hannibal said to do what he liked. "What do people do in the night?" he asked.Hannibal tilted his head very carefully. Will felt himself blush, another flush of heat not of the fire spread under his skin. It felt almost too tight, his skin. He thought he might want to crawl right out of it, peel it off as he had his tunic."I think you have some idea," Hannibal replied.Will's eyes fell to the fire. Maybe he should put his hand in it, to remind himself of what would come should he allow himself to be tempted. Suddenly, Hannibal was at his side, his fingers gripping Will's wrist as he held his hand out to the flames. Will's mouth fell open."I will not allow you to hurt yourself," Hannibal said very softly. Will looked into his eyes. "What if I want to?""Do you, little one? What was the thought that caught in your mind when you reached out with this hand? Is this truly what you would like to do?"Will hesitated. "I...should," he said frowning. "I should want--""But you do not. So you will not." Hannibal gently took Will's hand away from the fire, gentling his grip, and with the soft pads of his fingers, drew small circles across his too-warm knuckles. "Now, what do you like?"Will watched Hannibal's fingers. "This," he said. "I like what you are doing.""Good, Will. Then I will keep doing it.""I like it when you say that word," Will said, his voice going soft and dreamy. He tried to say it like Hannibal, with the rounder but shorter vowel and the sharper consonant at the end. Gudt maybe, but he felt like he mangled it. His tongue was clumsy and Hannibal's fingers had not ceased their movement.Hannibal expelled a breath that might have been a laugh, but Will didn't care really. He smiled when Hannibal said, "I'm happy to know that, little one. Would you like to know more of my language?""Yes," Will replied, though he could not say he'd ever thought about it before. "Because I do not want to run away.""Very, very good," Hannibal murmured. Then he said another word, just twice in the same way and the word again that meant good. Will nodded and said the words back and Hannibal praised him again. Will felt warm and his head felt fuzzy and he felt much more tired than before. He slumped slightly and his shoulder and head fell across Hannibal's chest. Will curled into Hannibal's embrace and sighed. "I like this," he said and Hannibal's arms tightened around him. "Never held before," he mumbled."Do you like to think of the past, little one?" Hannibal asked, his mouth very close to Will's ear.Will shivered and Hannibal held him tighter. "No," Will realized. In every possible way, it seemed, Will's present with Hannibal was better than where he had been before. If God had been with him then, and was not now, how could that be?"Then you will not.""Because we are only doing things we like," Will said, nodding. It felt good. Will was not used to doing and feeling what he wanted. But he was not thinking of the past, because he did not like it, so he didn't dwell. He smiled and pressed closer. Hannibal stroked his hair."The food will be ready in a moment, little one," Hannibal said. "Are you hungry?"Will hummed his assent again and carefully pulled himself away from Hannibal, who cupped his face with both hands. Will looked up at him and said, "I like you, Hannibal."Hannibal kissed his forehead. "I am glad, Will."When they ate, Hannibal sat near to Will again. Their thighs touched as they bent over their bowls of good, hearty stew. Hannibal had to catch Will's empty bowl as it slipped from his fingers when he was finished. He was so tired.Hannibal laid Will down in his lap and pulled fingers through his hair, as he had the night the man, Garrett had come and died. He said, "Look into the fire, little one, and I will tell you a story.""I'd like that," Will murmured, happily drowsy."I thought so," Hannibal said and then he began to speak in his own language. The tale flowed from his lips and washed over Will, filling his mind with a strange comfort, despite his ignorance of the words and their meaning. The fire filled his vision, crackling and flickering, swaying as though in a beautiful dance. Will thought he might like to dance some day as his eyes fell closed and he drifted away on the tide of Hannibal's low, steady voice. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Will woke late in the morning to an empty house. He'd been moved to his sleeping pallet on the other side of the fire and covered with a blanket, but his habit was gone from the floor where he remembered discarding it. Will carefully did not think very hard about the things he'd said and thought the previous night. He wrapped himself in the blanket and made his way down to the river's edge, where he sunk his hands into the water. He let them soak up the cold of it, splaying his fingers, wiggling them, as though they were worms on a hook.He'd said he liked to fish. Will had forgotten that. As a lay monk, he was required to work in the fields surrounding the Abbey and with the animals in the yard and the stables. While the Abbey was near the ocean and a few abundant streams, Will had never been tasked with fishing. It had been a favorite pastime of several of the senior monks and also the Abbot, so no one as lowly as he would ever have been told to go, even during the Lenten season when no meat other than fish was consumed at all.What else about himself had Will forgotten? What else had been so consumed by his education and life within the church that it was now as though it had never been? Will sighed and bent over the crystalline water. He thought to pray for clarity, for insight, but he stopped himself once more. He had not prayed here. He would not now, because it was true: he'd never enjoyed prayer. He'd never felt listened to, or loved. He was not ready to say there was no God, nor that he did not believe in the wickedness of man or of himself, or the temptations of the Devil. But he knew, he understood now, that his God, the God that was preached to him throughout his life, was not and had never listened to his prayers.Will let out a slow breath. He let the realization, the acceptance, settle over his shivering body, his body that had never felt God's love.He only let himself think of Hannibal's soft foreign words, his hands, his warm embrace for a moment, before he dunked his head under the harshly cold water. Moments later, he came up gasping and wiped the water now streaming from his hair and down his face and neck. A baptism of a kind, he thought blasphemously. Wholly his own. Hannibal did not return from wherever he'd gone for hours.Will went back into the house and searched for some clothing, eventually finding in a hidey-hole under Hannibal's pallet an extra tunic and trousers. They looked older than the clothes that Hannibal usually wore and there was not an undertunic to prevent the wool of the shirt from scratching at Will's skin. He was used to such a feeling anyway, from his habit, so donned the clothes and went about his usual work.He fed the chickens and the heifer, who mooed at him graciously. He then cleaned and straightened inside the house. Once that was done, he went out to the garden between the house and the woods and began to tend it. It would soon be time to harvest the small plot of barley and wheat, which Hannibal had planted in the spring and would see them through winter. Will wondered idly if Hannibal had known he would bring back another mouth to feed and had planted more than he needed, or if they would feel the gnaw of hunger in the cold days that would come.After a while, Will heard a strange sound from the woods, almost like a hacking cough. He turned, grasping hard at his spade, and saw a dog, mud-covered and slightly limping, loping down the well-trod path Will had seen Hannibal emerge from so many times. Will stood and, without really thinking, whistled.The dog stopped dead, startled, then perked his ears towards Will. His tongue lolled out the side of his mouth and he came directly to Will. He made huffing, happy sounds as Will bent to let him sniff at his hand, licking Will's fingers before they began to pet his head and scratch his ears.When Will's attention made him so excited he planted his injured paw too hard on the ground, the dog whined and snapped, shying away slightly, before Will could coax him back with a soft croon. The dog was surprisingly patient while Will examined the injury, cooing and hushing as he palpitated the wound. Will's admittedly inexpert opinion soon settled on the idea that it was a sprain of the dog's paw and not a break, but he urged the poor creature into the house regardless and soothed him while he wrapped the foot.It didn't occur to Will to worry that Hannibal may not wish to have a dog in his home until he heard the sounds of his footsteps returning that evening. Will had reheated the stew from the previous night and the dog's head was resting in his lap as he stirred the pot.At the sound of Hannibal's approach the dog perked up, nostrils flaring, and began to growl low in the direction of the back door, near the byre. The heifer groaned her displeasure at the noise as Hannibal pushed the door open. Will had to push the dog up and behind him to stop the animal from lunging at Hannibal, who dropped the large sack he was carrying and crouched in surprise, ready to stave off an attack.Will hushed desperately at the dog and stretched a warning hand out to Hannibal. "It's all right," he told them both at once. "It's all right." Shushing again, he held the dog as his growls turned to whines and his whole body shook.Hannibal straightened, looking at the dog with a strangely cool detachment. "You have found a champion, little one," he said."I'm sorry," Will said, panicked by the dog's unfriendly reaction. "He's hurt. I don't know why he thinks you're a threat. Please don't make me put him out."Hannibal blinked and said nothing, standing still in the doorway as the dog finally calmed down. "You feel very strongly about it, then," Hannibal said after a while."I know he'll be another mouth to feed," Will began, but Hannibal waved his hand.He said, "He's a hunting breed. You can tell by his build. He can work for his supper."Will looked up from where his eyes had fallen to the dog's still raised hackles. "Just like that?" he asked.Hannibal's gaze did not waver. "I lack the desire for the kind of companionship such an animal offers. That does not mean I would deny you that comfort. If you want the dog to stay, he will."Will smiled and nodded, feeling strangely warm and unable to meet Hannibal's eyes any longer. He stroked the head of the dog, who was still rigid and shivering. "When I woke this morning," he said quietly, "you weren't here."Hannibal still had not moved from the doorway and now looked almost as spooked as the dog. It was a subtle change in his posture and Will would not have noticed it had he not spent so much of his time watching Hannibal. "You felt my absence," he said, and though it was not really a question, Will heard uncertainty in his voice."You thought I wouldn't?" Will asked.Hannibal's expression seemed calm, but everything else about his body looked stiff, uncomfortable. "I had not..." he began to say, but seemed unable to complete the thought. "Forgive me," he said finally.He picked up his sack, which looked heavy, and laid it down again nearer to the fire. He reached inside and tossed what looked like a rib to the dog, who snapped it up immediately. Will glanced curiously inside the sack, which was coated in blood and contained several cuts of fresh meat. "You butchered another animal in the forest?"Hannibal nodded. "You really don't have to spare me," Will said, turning his eyes to where the dog was happily gnawing on the delicate bone. "I could help you.""You will help tomorrow," Hannibal said serenely. He pulled what looked like a haunch out now and laid it down on the slab next to the fire. "The butchering is a task I prefer to do myself." He looked up at Will. "I do believe that you have the stomach for it, little one."Will made a face at the diminutive name and something in Hannibal's eyes turned bright. "It was another pig?" Will asked, eyeing the haunch. It seemed so large."Yes," Hannibal answered. Something about his tone didn't sit right with Will, but he stopped thinking about it as soon as Hannibal added, "I'm sorry we won't be able to fish tomorrow because of all the work preserving the meat will require. I stumbled upon him as I was searching for plants and could not resist."Will blushed, remembering the ridiculous conversation they'd had. "I don't...I mean, it's fine."Hannibal tilted his head. "You have changed your mind since last night? You no longer like to fish?""No, I do," Will protested. "It's just...not so important."Hannibal had moved to store the sack of meat in a cooler area, away from the fire. He returned now, near to Will, to inspect the pot and rub some herb across the haunch that he'd placed on the slab. He said, "Outside of what we must do to survive in this place and through the winter, little one, what you desire is of great importance to me. It's...there is a word." He said something in his own tongue and looked clearly aggrieved he could not think, or did not know, of the English equivalent.Will frowned and supplied, though he hardly thought it would be the case, "Priority?"Hannibal beamed. "Yes. That. What you desire is my priority." It was the first time Will had ever seen such a display of emotion in Hannibal's facial expression.Will gaped at him. "Why?" He blurted.Hannibal's eyes caught Will's as he answered, "Because I stole you from a place that cared nothing for you or your desires. You are a trampled flower, little one, and I would see you take root, reach for the sun. Bloom."There was a pressure in Will's chest as he stared at Hannibal and processed his words. It grew and grew and began to hurt as Hannibal continued to speak. "These monks, these men of your god, Will, they wanted only your body. To control it. To use your hands and break your back. To fill your mind with rules and fear and shame so that you would do their work for them and not think, not see, what you could be without them."Will realized he was shaking his head. His stomach turned and his chest hurt as he fought to control his breathing. This was too much, too far. "And you," Will accused. "You will show me a better way? If I follow your Word?""There is no Word," Hannibal answered. "There is only the world. I would show it to you. But you do not need me to lift your face to the sun, little one. I only wish to watch you grow.""Grow away from God," Will said.Hannibal was clear-eyed. Sincere. "Away from his cage," he said. "Yes."Hannibal, who knelt near the fire, was now cast in red and orange as the house had darkened in the waning sunlight. The bones of his face were shadowed skull-like and his eyes were dark. "Are you a devil?" Will asked. He didn't feel afraid. But the words Hannibal had spoken sounded so much like temptation. The way he looked at Will, they way they'd touched, last night and on the ship, it was forbidden and wicked, impure. It felt too good to be righteous. "Please, tell me the truth."Hannibal leaned toward Will and his eyes were smiling again. "Will," he said. "Devils are no more real to me than your god is. If your god is real to you, perhaps I am a devil."Will shook his head. This was not the answer he wanted.What he wanted was a denial, then it would be a lie and he would know. He realized he shouldn't have asked. What devil would admit his nature? What trickster would reveal the game?What Will wanted too was for Hannibal's words to not always sound so much like the truth. He was beginning to feel as though the years he'd spent in the monastery had been an imprisonment. That it was Hannibal who had somehow freed him. But wouldn't that be the kind of trickery a devil would foment in the mind of an innocent?Will wanted to laugh and cry at once. Had he ever been an innocent? Perhaps not with his uncanny talents. Hannibal tilted his head curiously. He asked, "If you will not pray to your god, if you do not love your god, why should you care if I am a devil?"Will did not answer.The dog, finished with his bone, gave Hannibal a wide berth as he ambled over to settle down on the floor and rest his head against Will's knee. Will scratched at the dog's ears and he gave a soft woof of happiness. Will, shamefully, thought of his own reaction to Hannibal's gentle caresses, and how he longed to bend his body low, in the way of a whining pup, and rest his head in Hannibal's lap.It had felt so easy last night.Will looked up at Hannibal. "I don't," he said softly. "I don't care what you are.""No?" Hannibal's expression was unreadable and Will tried, but could not discern his thoughts."If you are a devil, I don't care. And I can't think of anything else you could be, you are so wicked and strange." Will turned to face Hannibal. The dog turned his head away from Will, rolling over on the floor beside him.Something was moving through Will, pumping in his blood, catching his breath in his throat. "Have you bewitched me? Cast me under some spell? Witches are the servants of devils, did you know? But I don't believe you could ever be the servant of some other creature. You are nothing if not a master."Hannibal's eyes were bright again. "I believe no more in witches, little one, than I do in devils. Spells are of man's making and they live in the body and the mind. I cannot make you want or do anything you would or could not desire for yourself."Will frowned, not entirely pleased to have blame for the strange way he felt laid solely at his feet. It wasn't anything he'd asked for, though it must be something he desired. He realized, then, that he wanted, so badly, for Hannibal to touch him. But Hannibal did not.Will could not bring himself to be the one to move closer. So he asked, "What do you believe, Hannibal? If not in your gods or mine?""I believe in myself," Hannibal replied. "I have survived many dangers, many hardships, have accomplished many things in my life and never have I felt the hand of any god upon me. I am who I am and have become so through my own deeds and thoughts. There is nothing else."Will tilted his head, still frowning. "It must be very difficult.""No more than faith in the indifferent power that you profess. To me, giving over control of your fate in the way your god demands would be too high a price," Hannibal replied. Will nodded. That, somehow, he understood. Faith was difficult. Will was starting to wonder, having nothing and no one left to tie him to his own god if it was worth it. He shivered as the realization swept over him. Did he now have more faith in himself than God? Or, did he only think this way because it would be so much easier to give in to the temptation Hannibal was beginning to embody in his mind. He looked at his captor, cast in the orange-red glow of the fire between them. Will was certain his faith in Hannibal now far surpassed anything he'd ever felt for the Christian God."It must be lonely too," he said finally.Hannibal blinked, as though startled. "There is peace in solitude," he said.Will smiled softly, looking down to stroke the dog's head again. "Yes. And there can still be loneliness in a crowded room." He had always known that to be true."Ah, little one," Hannibal said. Will looked up to see a rueful smile on Hannibal's face. "The food is ready." ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- It took three days to preserve the meat from this second pig of Hannibal's. It must have been a large animal, larger than the first Will had helped him prepare. He commented on the size and amount of the meat only once. Hannibal said nothing in reply, only looked expectantly into Will's eyes, as though he were waiting for another, better observation. Will looked away then and they did not speak for a while. The silence was broken when Hannibal explained a particular trick he wanted Will to use to slice the back meat for smoking.On the fourth day after the dog appeared, Hannibal let Will sleep late into the morning. Will had begun to count time by events, as Hannibal never spoke of days of the week and there was no change in routine--no Sunday Mass--to mark the passage of the days. Will was perturbed to find that it was in fact the way the rituals of his faith marked time that he missed the most from his old life.His old life, replaced by this new life with Hannibal and with the dog, who had taken to following Will around the homestead. Neither of them were chained, but still they stayed. Will called the dog good and named him Noll after one of the younger lay monks from the Abbey, who had always been smiling, even when they worked hard and had little to eat in the lean months.Hannibal had stoked the fire recently. The room was warm when Will pulled himself from under his blankets. He smiled, remembering the endlessly cold mornings at the abbey. He shook his head, feeling silly for so often letting his mind retreat to the past. He remembered what Hannibal had said the night Will had thought he wanted to run away.Only do things you like.Will should not think on his old life. He had never truly liked it. Not like he liked this place, this beautiful country, this warm house. He'd once felt some kind of satisfaction for never breaking under the strain of his work in the field and the yard at the abbey. But he'd never felt the strange comfort and joy of purpose that he felt when he worked with Hannibal, farming his land and preserving his food. From their hands, their life-- their survival--would spring. Will had never felt so close, so in control, of his future as he felt when they'd tucked the dried, salted pork away in the cold store carved into hard rock underneath Hannibal's house. That meat would see them through the long dark of the winter, Hannibal had told him. He had much more than last year, much more than they both would need to stave off starvation, Hannibal said, because of Will."I'm glad you are awake, little one," Hannibal spoke from the door of his house that faced the water.Will looked up at him and smiled when he saw a long line and several hooks in Hannibal's hands. Hannibal asked, "Would you like to fish with me today, Will?"Will, smiling even more broadly, nodded and followed Hannibal hastily to the river bank. They walked out onto the dock. Will took a long, neatly woven line from Hannibal's strong fingers and plucked one of the hooks from his open palm. "You are familiar with the method," Hannibal said.Will flashed him a wry smirk. "I imagine it's the same everywhere, don't you?" Will tied the hook onto the line as though he'd done it last only days ago and not a decade. His father had fished with nets of course, but sometimes they had tied up long lines across nearby streams that fed into the sea, or Will had used his own line to pass the long hours on his father's boat. As his fingers lengthened the slack and pulled it up again, testing a long disused memory of his body, he felt something light fill up his chest. He was smiling again, looking down at the line, and across the water, and then, finally, to Hannibal, who was watching him. There was no small amount of pleasure, even awe, in Hannibal's eyes and mouth as he looked at Will.Will cast his line and sat down upon the dock, sinking his bare feet into the chilling water. "Just tell me if I do it in some way you wouldn't," he said.Hannibal sat down beside him and cast his own line. "Of course," he replied. They roasted three fish that night and pickled five more. Will's haul had been prodigious, while somehow Hannibal's had been less so. Will suspected he hadn't been giving the task his full attention. Warmth curled in his belly and across his cheeks as he thought of Hannibal's eyes straying from the water, from their task, and to Will's busy hands and his frown of concentration. Noll had paced at their backs earlier that morning, but soon had settled curled next to Will. Will and the dog spent much of the rest of the rapidly chilling fall that way, settled together on the dock. Hannibal, saying nothing, but brushing an encouraging hand across Will’s shoulders, left them to the fish and busied himself in the garden, the house, and the woods behind his small field.Will let his mind wander, draw into himself and out into the world, as his fingers waited patiently, reflexively tightening to bring in fish after fish, day after day. He felt peaceful, happy, and pleasantly useful, especially when Hannibal said one night, with a profoundly pleased light in his eyes that they had so much fish, they must go to the town and barter it away.“I should go as well?” Will asked. He realized, while he felt some trepidation, he was also aware of a strange kind of excitement within himself.“Yes, of course,” Hannibal replied. “I would have you use your wonderful gift for me, little one.”Will bit back an assertion that the gift could not be wonderful if it were so wicked. He understood those were the words the monks and the Fathers had told him. The words Hannibal had said kept him caged at the Abbey, in body and mind.He’d found himself contemplating such a cage. The words of the monks and the Word of God. What was wickedness truly, he’d begun to wonder by himself at the water. He’d thought on Noll, who used the gifts god granted to his kind with no apparent thought or question, no hesitation. And why shouldn’t Will? As long as he did no harm, he did not think a sense, so similar a thing to smell or sight or hearing--that which all creatures used and thrived upon--could be thought of as a wickedness.When Will did not speak right away, Hannibal shifted and considered him carefully. Will thought perhaps Hannibal was able to tell, in some look on Will’s face or change in the set of his shoulders, that Will was thinking of God and his old life, questioning himself and the world. Will found himself smiling and Hannibal tilted his head in silent inquiry. They had become proficient in speaking with few words in the past weeks.“Did you know,” Will said softly, “that I no longer think of myself as a monk?”Hannibal did not move. His hands, which had been stirring the pot over the fire, slowed and stilled.Will continued, his voice gone slightly shaky, “In my mind, I am not one of them. They are monks. They believe what they have been taught. They live in the Abbey. They work for the glory of God. I do not.”“You live here now,” Hannibal said. His eyes had fallen to the fire. His hands quickened, turning the stew. “I work for myself,” Will told him. It felt significant to say so. “And for you.”Hannibal’s expression changed minutely, a hardening in the set of his jaw. “We work together,” he said. Will knew Hannibal had not taken Will because he wanted a servant. Will had never been a true slave to Hannibal.“Yes. But, I think I should walk behind you when we go into the town,” Will replied. “I think I should keep my eyes on the ground. It is not so important that people understand this as we do.”Hannibal looked up from the fire and smiled. “I thought so, as well, little one.” After a moment his gaze fell to Noll, sitting with a bone at Will’s feet. Hannibal’s expression dimmed to a neutral mask. “We will not take the dog.”Will frowned. “I can’t say he won’t follow--”Hannibal’s eyes cut to Will’s and they were suddenly cold. “Then we will chain him.” He picked two bowls up from where they were warming near the coals and poured out a portion of the stew for them both. He passed one to Will without another word.Will ate. Chewing slowly on the food and the idea that, while Will had never been a true slave-- never beaten, never broken--there had never been a question as to who was the master. Will had always been subordinate. At home with his family, at the Abbey, and even here. His lot was never to lead. He looked at Hannibal, who he trusted now because...because he must. And Hannibal had been kind and strange and Will must believe in something or--he did not know. Will did not want to go back to the Abbey and he knew there was nowhere else for him.Hannibal could chain the dog, or chain Will again, if it pleased him, and Will was not sure he would want to leave this place, his new home.He thought Hannibal might like to know such a thing, but he could not speak the words. He held them in his mouth and suddenly wanted to press his body to Hannibal’s. It would be good for Hannibal to know how much he did not want to leave. It would be a good way to show him, since Will could not speak of it.Will no longer believed the ways bodies wanted each other was the work of the Devil. He had not as a young boy, having seen the joy his parents had taken in such activities in their one room cottage. He had only believed in such evil at the Abbey because it was important to him at the beginning of his time there to absorb everything, to be as good as possible, and be right with God. He realized now how easily he had let the monks and priests and godly men around him shape his thoughts.It occurred to him suddenly how much his mind had turned from that world in the few months he had lived with his captor.Hannibal, his captor. Hannibal, his master. His friend.Hannibal’s words slowly churning in his mind as he stared out into the lapping waves of the quiet river. As he stared into the crackling, dancing fire. As he stared into Hannibal’s strange, dark eyes, which were the slightly purpled color of the blood that had been painted onto the crucifix that had hung upon the High Altar in the church. Will’s mind had changed, for Hannibal.Will set his food aside. Hannibal met Will’s eyes and did the same. As so often was his wont, Hannibal waited for Will to speak.Will’s lips had gone dry and he licked them slowly. His head felt light on his shoulders, his mind reeling. “I am changed,” he said. “I am changing and I don’t know how to stop.”Hannibal’s expression did not change. “Do you wish to?”Will shook his head no, but said, “I would have, I think.”Hannibal now actually looked a little impatient with him. “The past does not matter,” he hissed lowly. “It is dead and we are not.” He leaned closer to Will. His eyes were bright again with something fierce and not a little wild. “Do you wish to be other than you are now, Will?” He demanded.Will closed the space between them. He pressed his lips firmly to Hannibal’s, for only a brief moment. When Hannibal’s mouth opened slightly to pull Will’s lips into his, Will pulled back, feeling shaken. He looked up into Hannibal’s eyes and said, “No.” His heart was pounding.Hannibal gathered Will into his arms, pulling him tight against his chest. He smiled and Will smiled back
10440915	no evil for the blind	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": null, "Characters": "Ellie (The Last of Us), Joel (The Last of Us)", "Fandom": "The Last of Us", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by 30026401", "chapters": "1/?", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-25T00:00:00", "words": "531", "Additional Tags": "Fluff, Angst, but very minor, Father-Daughter Relationship, joel tries, (and im freeballing this)", "Relationship": "Ellie & Joel (The Last of Us)", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	“C’mon, you can just teach me.”“Ellie,” he sighed.“No I’m serious!” She insisted. “What could these people know that you don’t? They’re all been stuck in these fences. Anything I need to know I can learn from you.”Joel stared back at her, overtaken by the vehemence in her tone. Second ticked by and he said nothing. Ellie turned away.She’s frustrated, Joel thought lamely, he should be to comforting her. But he couldn’t. There was a growing tightness in him that went deeper than his muscles. Her words were repeating in his mind. Her tone had been dismissive, and she hadn’t even been looking at him when she said it but Joel was suddenly fixated.He looked down at her as she stood with her back to him, foot scuffing harmlessly against the walls of the school building. She didn’t understand what she’d said, did she? Why should she? Joel was wrestling with an insecurity that he was looking too deeply into her simple statement. Anything I need to know I can learn from you. Joel knew he should contradict her. It wasn’t true. There were things he didn’t know, knowledge out there that other’s could teach her better than him. Things that might save her life one day. What did he know about history or… art or whatever they’d teach her. There was so much blind trust in her words that Joel simultaneously wanted to shelter this glimmer of innocence by proving her right and to viciously shake that naivety out of her for her own good.He couldn’t though. He remembers the way young children idolize their parent. He remembers Sarah, and her trust in him and all he was: a young man with only a high school education and a small house and a simple job and a daughter.But Ellie was not Sarah. She was older than Sarah in so many ways that Joel didn’t believe she had the innocence left to feel the blinding trust and idolization most children experience at least for a while. He hadn’t known Ellie felt this way, had been more than satisfied and happy with what he’d thought they’d had. But now that he knew there was more he couldn’t be the one to ruin it.He muttered something about school being what kids do, but his heart wasn’t in it. Joel couldn’t stop thinking about what it would be like too let Ellie really be a kid, to be trusted like this again.He’d been so worried. Had Ellie suspected he’d lied to her? Had he made a mistake?She turned around, eyes already rolling. “But I already went to school,” she argued. “C’mon, you know I’m right. This is just bullshit, Joel.”Joel looked her in the eyes. I swear, he’d lied. He thought about her eyes: wide, expectant, and pleading. He thought maybe he’d broken her trust.“Fine.”Ellie perked up, her eyes, not uncertain and pleading but excited, wide with the surprise that he’d given in. “Shit, seriously? I don’t have to go?”“No,” he shook his head. He tried to smile. “Like you said. I can teach you anything you need to know, right?”
10470081	what we once were	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Akaashi Keiji, Kuroo Tetsurou", "Fandom": "Haikyuu!!", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Not Rated", "author": "by romansilver (orphan_account)", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-27T00:00:00", "words": "772", "Additional Tags": "bokuto is mentioned like once, akaashi doesn't like....say anything, Angst, I Am Sorry, i rarely write pure angst, Kurooaka Week, Day 3, i missed the first two days", "Relationship": "Akaashi Keiji/Kuroo Tetsurou", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	They used to be close. They used to want to be close. Not anymore. Akaashi didn’t look at him any more, didn’t speak to him unless necessary, in short phrases with ice in his voices. Moved away if Kuroo got too close. He didn’t reply if Kuroo texted him, didn’t smile at the jokes Kuroo made, hiding it behind his hand. The warmth in his eyes was gone, replaced with steel and cold. Leave me alone, they seemed to say, and Kuroo did.They used to be close. But now Akaashi had moved on, leaving Kuroo in the dark, unaware of what he did, what he said, to make Akaashi leave him behind. They used to share looks, when Bokuto was about to get himself into a sticky situation, or The Karasuno kids were about to cause trouble that they would have to deal with. Akaashi would sigh, exasperated, but a ghost of a smile would play on his lips. Kuroo wanted to see more of it, see Akaashi smile, make it last more than a fleeting moment before it was gone. Akaashi’s smile had pulled and tugged and pushed until Kuroo fell for it, fell for Akaashi. It hurt to think about it, hurt to think about the way Akaashi looked away, dealing with it himself, frowning if Kuroo got too close.They used to be close. They used to have the best conversations, ones that immersed Kuroo like he couldn’t do anything but listen to Akaashi speak, listen to Akaashi explain things Kuroo couldn’t understand. You don’t understand any of this, Akaashi would say, and Kuroo would grin and reply with No, but you sound nice, so keep going. Akaashi’s eyes would shine, and Kuroo could almost feel the warmth he saw. It made Kuroo think he had a chance, made Kuroo want to tell him everything, that Akaashi meant more to Kuroo than he thought and ask if it was the same for Akaashi. Kuroo wondered if all that was a lie, if Kuroo had imagined everything to suit his own daydreams. They used to be close. Kuroo used to pull all nighters, rush to get everything perfect and in place. It showed the next day, when Akaashi would sigh and sit by Kuroo, letting him drop his head on Akaashi’s shoulder and doze off, content, happy, comfortable. He used to know, somehow, when Kuroo felt the weight of the world on his shoulders, knew when to place a hand on Kuroo’s back, or his shoulder, and whisper soft reassurances until Kuroo felt lighter, felt brighter. Akaashi didn’t even let Kuroo near him, moved away to talk to someone else, leaving Kuroo feeling alone, sad, left behind as Akaashi moved away. As he put distance between them until the loneliness clawed at Kuroo, an inexplicable loss making him sigh and feel heavier than he’d felt in a long time.They used to be close. Kuroo used to text him in the middle of the night, questions, thoughts that he felt he couldn’t vocalize during the day. He would send Akaashi messages about his insecurities, how he felt like he wasn’t good enough to be a captain, how he felt like the world was moving without him, like he was stuck in one place, never being able to improve. Akaashi would chastise him, Kuroo-san, you shouldn’t be awake at this hour, you’ll feel better in the morning, but he would soothe him, send him messages about what he admired, small, simple compliments that made Kuroo feel a bit better, a bit stronger. Now, he didn’t even reply, didn’t even deign to look at the messages Kuroo sent. It grew harsher, colder, and Kuroo felt alone more than ever.They used to be close. Kuroo used to tell him about the trouble Nekoma got into, and Akaashi would lift his hand to his mouth. It was subtle, easy to mistake as Akaashi being shocked or disappointed, but the light in his eyes showed Kuroo that he was smiling, the smile Kuroo so desperately wanted to see, hidden behind Akaashi’s hand, blocked off and hidden away. Kuroo used to feel accomplished, feel proud of himself when he managed to make Akaashi smile. It made him smile too, sunshine in his veins and happiness, affection, adoration in his heart. Kuroo wondered if it was all a lie, if Akaashi never meant to let Kuroo in, let Kuroo close to him. He wondered if Akaashi had always been so distant, and Kuroo had let himself believe otherwise, let himself think that tomorrow, tomorrow he would tell Akaashi everything.Kuroo had never felt so alone.
10472775	Two lovely men doing it	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Gaius (Fire Emblem), Stuart \"2D\" Pot, Noodle (Gorillaz)", "Fandom": null, "Language": "English", "Rating": "Explicit", "author": "by GutterDruid", "chapters": "2/?", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-27T00:00:00", "words": "1,351", "Additional Tags": "Male Homosexuality, Male Protagonist, Anal Sex, Sex, Gay Sex, Online Dating, Alternate Universe - Online Dating, Falling In Love, Tinder App", "Relationship": "gaius fire emblem/stuart (2d) pot gorillaz", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "Fire Emblem Series, Gorillaz", "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Stuart pot was on his phone. He had signed up for tinder and was looking for a handsome male partner to do his dirty work on. He had a thing for hot redheads. He was visiting Ylisse from fire emblem. When he saw Gaius he just had to swipe right. That man was so his type. Gaius was on his phone as well and happened to swipe right on 2d. He loved how cool 2D's hair looked and didn't mind 2D's blackened eyes. Unfortunately for Stu, those were the type of things that tended to put off men, but this man thought it was adorable. Besides, Gaius was a man with a plan, he swiped right on anyone who'd get him laid, man or woman. Here is their textual communication:Gaius: Hey cutie. 2D: Heyyyy Gaius: How's it going? Heard you're in a band. 2D: Yeah I am. We're called the Gorilliaz and we are just playing a show tonight in Ylisse. Wanna come see us? I know that's where you live. Gaius: Yeah it'd be great. We could maybe have some fun afterwards ;) If you know what I mean. 2D: Only if I get to top. Gaius: Sure thing meet you after the showGaius loved the Gorilliaz after their show. Their new album was brilliant. He wished he could just listen to stu's beautiful voice on repeat. Wonder what it'd sound like when they were fucking."Hey cutie pie," said 2D as he sneaked up behind Gaius."You scared me there for a second," stuttered Gaius. He wasn't normally the type to get scared, he was a thief after all, but he was nervous about what would happen with 2D."Aww didn't mean to," murmured 2D. 2D was just as nervous as Gaius was. "Want to come back to Melancholy Hill with me? I doubt the rest of the band will be there""Sure, I'd love to daddy," replied Gaius. 2D blushed at the thought of being Gaius's daddy.They drove to Melancholy Hill in 2D's 1970 Plymouth Cuda AAR. Gaius admired the way that 2D could drive perfectly in such a nice car even after having been in two car wrecks that changed his eye color. Gaius spent the whole ride wondering what 2D was going to do to him. A band member seemed like the type of man who would be kinky as fuck. They went into 2D's room inside of the quaint house. They are happy when they see that none of the other band members are home. If they were they'd have shit to give to 2D. All of them assumed that 2D only liked women, he had dated Paula after all. If he was found out Noodle would likely make fun of him, Murdoc would kill him, and Russel would tell him about how he should've told everyone sooner.Gaius looked around Stu's room. It was a quaint sort of messy. Not a teenage boy's messy, but the type of messy a man would create. He had some video games around his floor and a copy of Napoleon Dynamite on VHS. Gaius didn't even know that Napoleon Dynamite had come out on VHS, but apparently it had. 2D also had some cute zombie stuffed animals. Which in Gaius's mind was frankly adorable. Stu started to take off his shirt. Under it was his not quite fit but definitely skinny body. Gaius took off his shirt was well. 2D looked scrawny compared to Gaius. The two men were the same height, 6 foot 2. Gaius was much fitter with abs and arm muscles. Stu looked like an awkward teenage boy, while Gaius looked like a MAN .Both men proceeded to take off their pants and undergarments and get into Stu's bed. The room was cold so they started to cuddle. Stu was the big spoon and Gaius was the little spoon. They undoubtedly looked ridiculous in their demeanor. The strong athletic man wrapped inside the arms of the scrawnier Stuart Pot. Both men were very hard at this point. "Can I do it," Asked Stu to Gaius."Yes," Gaius replied.Stu proceeded to enter his erect specimen into the other man's anus. It was fairly easy as Gaius had sex frequently. Gaius moaned in delight. Adoring how the other man felt inside his butthole. He wanted more and wanted it to last forever.Stu started to orgasm and Gaius then proceeded to orgasm at the same time. They moaned together very loudly. Suddenly, they heard the front door slam open. "ANYONE HOME?" Screamed Noodle."Oh no", whispered 2D in embarrassment. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- "I'm home," screamed 2D back at Noodle. He couldn't lie to her. She would find him out easily.2D and Gaius frantically tried to put their clothing back on. 2D turned on his Play station hoping that if Noodle came up here she would think they were playing video games. Noodle is a 26 year old woman but she was still fairly innocent compared to the rest of the members of the band. 2D couldn't remember a single time where she had brought home a man or woman for that matter. They heard Noodle's foot steps coming up the stairs that lead to the top floor, where 2D's room was. She proceeded to look inside the door of Stu's room."What are you boy's doing? Playing video games? Uh. I'm going out bye," Noodle proceeded to leave the house and didn't come back. Noodle had assumed they were probably doing things, those types of things and didn't want to be in the way. She tended to try and avoid the house when any of the men had sexual partners over. She didn't like the sound of it. Both men let out a sigh of relief and took their clothing back off."That sure as fuck ruined the mood, bubbles," whispered Gaius."Yeah it sure did. I wish we could've kept going. I hope she didn't realize what we were up to. She would tell the others and they'd kill me," fretted Stu."It'll be okay baby. If they kick you out of the band you can stay with me. I'll take care of you. I work with the Shepards of Ylisse. I can even bake you some sweets if you wanted. To make you feel better. I love sugar you know?" panicked Gaius. He was concerned for his new lover. He didn't want to inflict any harm on him. It was obvious he had had some troubles in the past with the two 8 ball fractures caused by Murdoc and the fact that he had given up on his dream of going to law school because Murdoc had kidnapped Stu. It was sad in his mind. Gaius on the other hand had known he wanted to be a thief from a young age and had explored the world doing so. "It's okay. I'll I'll be fine. I'm always fine. Always fucking fine," Stu started to cry and Gaius picked him up and sat him in his lap."It'll be okay baby. I'll take care of you. You can confess your worries to me," Gaius comforted. "I just don't think there is any other life for me. This has been my life since I was 19. I'm 38 now. I can't do anything else. I'm just a fucking failure," 2D balled.Gaius picked up 2D and placed him in his lap as if 2D was only a small child. "I'll love you forever and prevent them from hurting you. You can do it my twinkles. I realized today that I can love and I think that I'm in love with you. Will you come and live with me?""Yes. Yes I think I will." Stu started to pack up his stuff and Gaius helped him. They got all of 2d's belonging and packed them into the car. They left a note on the table saying "I'm done with this. I can no longer stand for how murdoc treats me and I'm gone. Find a new singer and a new friend. Don't call me. I'll call you".
10413387	Dad Reflexes Soldier 76	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Soldier: 76 \| Jack Morrison, Jack Morrison, Reader, Child - Character", "Fandom": "Overwatch (Video Game)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by HanakoSpiritoftheToliet", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-23T00:00:00", "words": "1,499", "Additional Tags": "Parent-Child Relationship, Pregnancy, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Clumsiness, Dirty Dancing Joke", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Soldier: 76 \| Jack Morrison/Reader, Soldier: 76 \| Jack Morrison & Reader, Soldier: 76 \| Jack Morrison & You", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Dad Reflexes (Soldier 76 x Reader) Jack was fast, you know that, hell, everyone knew that. Either due to his training, his Indiana farm roots, or the chemicals they managed to pump into him, Jack was quick on his feet with a body that wouldn't quit. Despite this, the poor man was tormented for these skills with the most embarrassing of labels; dad reflexes. Jack would always deny that he was a dad by nature though he let it slip out once in a while around Lúcio or Hana. After all the denial though, you knew Jack really did care for his fellow agents including you, just a simple support. It even got to the point where it seemed he cared about you in a deeper way and you'd be lying if you said you didn't feel those feelings as well. It was these thoughts that were swirling in your mind as you were currently cleaning your utensils, getting ready for your next patient but the slam of the door made you jump. Turning around instantly, you spotted the man on your mind, arm around his middle, getting a bit of blood on the floor."Ja-ack?" you stuttered, getting over your spooked moment, "How are you?""I'm fine," Jack sighed as he took a seat, taking off his visor and relaxing a little as you moved his arm to reveal a big of a big wound on his stomach, "Just a small wound." "Tsk, tsk," you scolded, knowing it wasn't just a small wound but you've seen this too many times from him that it practically numbed you, "Always getting hurt."Turning your heal to get some bandages as well as the utensils for stitches, your ditzy mind forgot about the blood on the floor as you stepped in one of the small puddles and lost traction. "SHIIII-"Anticipating your crash to the floor, you felt yourself stopped before that happened, looking up to see that Jack stopped you in the nick of time. "Jack-k? I'm-m sorry," you start to apologize though you couldn't help but like the moment, your cheeks turning rosy red."Don't worry about it, kiddo," Jack hummed, giving you a week smile as a similar shade lined his face before he grunted deeply, his quick action and pressure on his gut agitating his wound, "(y-y/n)?""Yes?" you looked blankly before you realized, biting your lip as you got out of his arms, "Oh, sorry!"Despite the blunder, you managed to fix up the super soldier without any other incident. Jack was quiet during that time, looking lost in thought as he bit his lip for a moment before you snapped him out of it."Jack?" you snapped your fingers in front of him."Dinner?" Jack asked, looking a little confused before he managed to collect his thoughts, "I'm sorry... would you like to have dinner with me?""I- sure," you answered, rather flustered now, "But only after your wound heals.""Deal," Jack chuckled, willing to endure so he could have a decent time with you that didn't involve him getting hurt... yet.~~~~~But you decided to take fate into your own hands, well for the most part. It seemed you got into more accidents with Jack right around the corner, always there to save you like some clumsy protective knight. Yet the man was no fool, seeing that these tri[s and slips seemed more on purpose than accident now. But he guessed that's what falling in love was all about, dad joke intended. And speaking of dad, he was soon going to be one after years of flirting, dating, and finally getting married to you, part of the American dream he was lucky to have and now he was getting another piece to that dream as he was taking a walk with you, well it was more like hovering over you, back to your room, laundry in hand"Jack, I'm alright," you mumbled as you bit your lip, a hand on your bulging middle as you tried to calm the bouncing child inside as you carried the basket with your free arm."You can't be too careful," Jack mumbled, trying not to sound worried but he totally was, "You're carrying precious cargo.""I know I am," you sighed, gently smiling at him, "Believe me, I know.""And a man has to protect his girl," Jack stated proudly, returning the smile. A perfectly placed kick from your unborn child managed to hit the basket, kicking a sock out and with your clumsy curse, you managed to step on it and lose traction."AHHH-" You were ready to fall, trying to move onto your back to protect your kid when you stopped suddenly, clothes all over the floor as you looked up, seeing that Jack managed to catch you in the nick of time. He managed to shuffle into a squat, one hand on your upper back, the other on your lower back."And I guess he has to protect his child too?" you couldn't help but chuckle, heart racing as you tried to calm it down as not to stress the baby."Especially from their klutz of a mother," he mused though his voiced seemed a little strained."Jaaaaack," you whined, playing the emotionally sensitive card a little too much, especially with his teasing."But I still love you," he mused, kissing your cheek as he would always love his girl, no matter what."Oh, Jack, that's so-" You were cut short as you noticed Jack whimper a little, furrowing your brow as he was straining to keep you the way you were now, tremors shooting from his tense muscles to your bloated body."M-my kn-nee-es," he barely managed to grumble before he laid you down rather quickly, only to fall onto his side and rub the pained area. At least you weren't alone on the floor anymore, giggling as you figured you could enjoy your time here as you pecked his cheek to help ease his pain. Especially since it would take forever to get you back up on your feet again. At least the laundry was warm...~~~~~"I've got you in my sights," Jack mumbled in his serious commander voice as he was watching his daughter, (d/n) dancing around in a silly pink tutu, trying to show her dad what she learned in daycare. Despite Jack's hard demeanor, he was proud of his little girl, seeing her grow up was making the old man soft and even giving him some hope in the world, especially when it gave him you and you gave him this little angel. (d/n) had her father's blue eyes though sharper as compared to his weathered eyes and she was rather stubborn as well, especially during naptime. She got her nice (h/c) locks and beautiful looks and you hoped- no you prayed that she didn't get your curse; your clumsiness. "Oh please, she's just fine," You retorted in a hushed tone, curled up nest to your husband, watching the little show as you bit your lip, worried as you wonder even your curse would strike your child."I can't help it," he snickered, sensing your fear as he kissed your lips for a brief moment, "It's my dad sense.""Well dad sense or not, our kid is gonna be alright," you scoffed, knowing he'd always pull out the dad jokes card whenever he liked. Out of the corner of your eye though, you spotted that (d/n) managed to stumble over her wonky steps and was about to fall, potentially hurting that darling face or head. You knew what you had to do as you prevented her hit to the carpet, swooping her up into you arms with lighting quick reflexes."Are you alright, sweetie?" you asked her as you pecked her temple, worry deep in your (e/c) orbs."Again! Again!" the tot squealed, smiling wide as she bounced up and down in your arms."Only if your dad reflexes can catch up," you chided, looking over your shoulder at him with a wide smirk on your face,Jack got up, slowly clapping for you as he lightly nuzzled your cheek with his scruff. "You gave her your clumsiness in the first place." "Hehehe," you laughed before you handed (d/n) off to Jack, mumbling into his ear, "I guess that's not more 'dirty dancing' for the rest of the week."Jack was a blushing mess now as he looked at his daughter, hoping she didn't hear that but a child's ears are always open and absorb everything. His pulse quickened and blood got cold when his fears came true."What's dirty dancing, daddy?" asked (d/n), too innocent and pure for this world questioning about the worse thing she could ask at such an age.Queue Jack stumbling through an B-Sed answer of seeds and a farmer, red in the face and hoping this quick skills could get him out this situation... hopefully.
10422861	Afterhell	{ "Archive Warning": null, "Category": null, "Characters": "Sans (Undertale), Papyrus (Undertale), Reader", "Fandom": "Undertale (Video Game)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Not Rated", "author": "by WithinOurDream", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-24T00:00:00", "words": "1,631", "Additional Tags": "i will add as i go - Freeform, Violence, Threats of Violence, Blood, Blood and Gore, Death, Original Character Death(s)", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Sans (Undertale)/Reader, Papyrus (Undertale) & Reader", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": "Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death", "Categories": "F/F, F/M, M/M", "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	The One Year War had, by far, been the worst war humanity had ever fought. Years after, the species are still recovering, cities slowly forming from piles of rubble to dilapidated buildings and homes. The human population growing as the lost are replaced. Everyone tries to forget the monsters that once again live under their feet but....They have a new saying for why babies cry when they are born. Babies cry because in that moment right after their birth, they are filled with the memories of the atrocities their parents endured during the War. Stillborns and miscarriages are said to have been the souls of the people who died during the war and were not ready to come back in fear of the monsters attacking again. Many call the monsters cruel, horrible creatures but others remember why they became like that.....It was our fault.Peace negotiations were going well between world leaders and the king and queen of the monsters and they were close to getting themselves off of Mt. Ebott. But many humans didn't like the idea of monsters living among them and some took extreme measures. A group of anti-monsters formed a terrorist group against them. It wasn't long till a meeting between the king, queen, their adopted child Frisk, Frisk’s twin and human reporters was bombed, leaving Asgore and Toriel dead, Frisk badly wounded and the twin injured as well but better by far than the others.War broke out between the two species, leaving many monsters and humans alike, dead including the monster who spearheaded her side of the War. They called her Undyne the Undying. Many found the name grimly ironic when she was finally killed not long before the humans managed to shove the monsters back underground. Rumors spread like wildfire about why she finally died but it wasn't until after the War was over that humanity realized that she knew there was no way her people were going to win but her fear at being put back underground once more after tasting freedom caused her to commit suicide.You had watched this all happen from, at first, in your own hospital bed and then from the side of your twins. Frisk had lain unresponsive throughout the whole war, no matter how much you called out to them, trying to coaxed them out of their coma. It wasn't till the day after the monsters were defeated that Frisk woke up but they quickly interrupted your joyous cries with quick signing. They made you promise to save the monsters. You asked how they knew, they didn't answer. Then you asked why it had to be you, again, they didn't answer. It wasn't long till you were too tired to keep up with your questioning and, even with your protests, Frisk coaxed you to sleep and when you woke up, they were gone.It's been years since you last saw your twin, the last of your family. And it's time you held up your promise.-------------You walk slowly from the Ruins, trying to forget how each step you make leaves a deep red stain in the snow covering the ground. You pull the ragged lavender robe closer to your body, trying to help stop the shivers running through your spine and body, but you knew it had nothing to do with the cold. The jagged knife in your hand felt as though it weighed a ton and you gripped it tighter with each step, before finally bringing it up your chest. You stop just before a large log, just in time for heaving sobs to course through your body. You fall to your knees, numb to the coldness of the snow beneath you. You press the tip of the knife right over your heart, immediately starting to press it in to keep yourself from chickening out. You're only able to get the tip through your skin before a large hand appears on the handle encasing your own and halting your progress. The hand covering yours was shielded from the cold by a worn glove that had ragged rips ruining it. But through those rips you can see something pale, a dirty whiteness, inside. With nausea curling in your stomach you finally look up to find a skeleton's face right in yours. You cry out, falling backwards into the snow. Oh god, you think as you tried to scramble backwards and away from the monster. Please anything but the skeleton.On the surface, during the War, there was a skeleton monster that had became infamous for his killing ways. They said he could break the toughest human with just a single jerk of his wrist. But as you look back at his face, all you see is concern and a deep sadness that looked so strangely out of place. He backs away from you as you let your hand drop, along with the knife, into your lap and didn't come any closer again but you know from personal experience that some monsters didn't need to be near you to hurt you."FEAR NOT, DEAR HUMAN, I AM NOT WHO YOU MAY THINK I AM. I ONLY WANT TO HELP YOU."Your heart stutters at how loud he is and you quickly glance at your surroundings. After realizing the coast is clear, you clear your throat, trying to speak clearly but your voice comes out so quietly that you didn't blame him for stepping closer."H-how do I...I know you're telling the truth?"This makes the skeleton pause before he sighs, shrugging as he holds out a gloved hand."YOU DON'T, BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO TRUST ME. I MAY BE THE ONLY THING IN THIS FORSAKEN PLACE THAT WILL HELP YOU."You feel your skin prickle at his loud volume but you take his hand, letting him pull you up off the freezing ground. Can't he lower his voice?"It is true that you are the first monster that I've met that hasn't already tried to kill me."Judging by his expression, he didn't seem too surprised by his kind's actions. It's like he was actually expecting you to say something along those lines."THAT'S WHAT WE'VE ALLOWED OURSELVES TO BE REDUCED TO. WE WEREN'T ALWAYS LIKE THAT HUMAN, YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT. NOW COME, WE MUSTN'T DODDLE FOR TOO LONG, WE'VE ALREADY WASTED TOO MUCH TIME."He stretches out his hand once more and, after some hesitation, you take it. His glove is rough against your hand but he's surprisingly warm. The warmth reminds you of the cold around you, making you shiver, though you refrain from saying anything to keep from breaking tense but safe silence that settled between you two. It isn't till the skeleton and you finally broke free from the snowy forest, which is wildly overgrown with no one taking care of it, that he noticed your slowly growing shivers."HUMAN, ARE YOU COLD?"You wince at his voice once more before looking around wildly to make sure he didn't attract any enemies. Once you deemed the coast clear, you look shyly back at his face. Concern is written plainly into every inch and the genuine expression catches you off guard and you nod without meaning to."YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING. YOU ARE GOING TO GET SICK."He lets go of your hand and starts pulling off a backpack you didn't even notice he had till now. The poor, tattered thing is filled to the point of bursting with supplies from first aid things to food and water. You take the advantage of his diverted attention to examine him as you had been too panicked stricken to do so earlier. His gloves are the brightest things on him, even with how old they looked. He wore a black, long sleeved shirt and the words ‘COOL DUDE’ were faded into the fabric. Whatever caused the words was gone now but it looked as though there was bits and pieces of what looked to be duct tape clinging to it. Everything else was simple. Black jeans and dirty black and orange sneakers.It was then that he finally found what he was looking for, causing a short but bright smile to fall across his skeletal features.“HERE, HUMAN, TRY THIS.”Carefully swinging his book bag back onto his shoulder, he holds out a worn-looking blue jacket that strangely smelled of dust and ketchup. While holding it out to you, he looks tense, creases appearing in the animated bone around his eye sockets. You quickly take the jacket from him and he visibly relaxes as you do so. Throwing it around your shoulders, you slip your arm in the sleeves to find that its fits you quite well if you are able to ignore the slight bagginess.“Thank you…” You trail off, realizing that you didn't know his name. Realizing that himself, he gives you a kind smile.“MY NAME IS PAPYRUS, HUMAN.”“Well, Papyrus, my name is Rory. Though, I get the impression you are not going to use it very often.”Papyrus just shrugs, his expression unapologetic as he takes your hand once more and continues to trudge along in the snow. ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~The rest of the walk was uneventful aside from the occasional monster they came across but they all backed down easily enough once they recognized the skeleton who accompanied you.Snowdin seemed normal enough, just a small little town covered in...well, snow. Until you get closer, close enough to smell it. One moment all that filled the vicinity was the smell of crisp snow and smoke but as you got closer the smell of blood and rot overwhelms you, threatening to choke you.You gag, stopping so suddenly that Papyrus stops to, looking at you with sadness.
10418877	Sherlock Holmes und der	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Sherlock Holmes, John Watson", "Fandom": "Sherlock (TV)", "Language": "Deutsch", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by aislingde", "chapters": "4/4", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-23T00:00:00", "words": "7,725", "Additional Tags": "POV John Watson, Fake/Pretend Relationship", "Relationship": "Sherlock Holmes/John Watson", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Alles fing damit an, dass ich nach einem anstrengenden Arbeitstag nach Hause kam.Auf der Treppe lag unsere Post, und da Sherlock sich nie darum kümmerte, nahm ich sie mit nach oben.Es waren drei Briefe. Einer enthielt meine Kreditkartenabrechnung. Der andere machte Werbung für ein neueröffnetes indisches Restaurant und der letzte ließ mich stutzen, da er an Mr. und Mr. Watson-Holmes adressiert war.Noch auf dem Weg nach oben machte ich ihn auf.Es war die Bestätigung des Sofitel London St James Hotel, dass für das nächste Wochenende die Royal Suite reserviert war.Als ich sah, wie teuer zwei Übernachtungen für zwei Personen waren, musste ich schlucken.Ich überprüfte, auf welche Kreditkarte die Reservierung lief. Es war keine, die ich kannte. Also musste es sich um einen neuen Fall handeln, bei dem der Auftraggeber zahlte.Ich war neugierig, worum es sich handelte.Ich brauchte nicht lange zu warten, denn Sherlock saß über sein Mikroskop gebeugt am Küchentisch.Als ich den Raum betrat, streckte er die Hand aus ohne hochzublicken.„Die Bestätigung, John.“Ich hasse es, wenn er solche Halbsätze in den Raum wirft, deswegen tat ich so, als ob ich nicht verstünde, was er meinte.„Bitte?“„Sie haben die Post, die auf der dritten Treppenstufe lag, hochgenommen. Auf dem Weg nach oben haben Sie die Briefe durchgeblättert und gestutzt, als Sie auf den Brief an Mr. Und Mr. Watson-Holmes gestoßen sind. Neugierig wie Sie sind, haben Sie den Umschlag geöffnet …“„Was auch mein gutes Recht ist, da mein Name darauf steht“, warf ich ein.„Und haben die Bestätigung gelesen. Ich habe zwar keinen Beweis, aber ich vermute, dass Sie überprüft haben, mit welcher Kreditkarte die Buchung getätigt wurde und somit wissen, dass es weder meine noch die von meinem Bruder ist. Sie vermuten also, dass wir einen neuen Fall haben.“Er kannte mich wirklich sehr gut.„Dann erklären Sie mir bestimmt, was es mit Mr. und Mr. Watson-Holmes auf sich hat?“Sherlock räusperte sich und blickte zum ersten Mal hoch.„Gestern bekam ich Besuch von Mr. Christoph Duchess. Er und sein Ehemann haben die letzten vier Nächte im St. James Hotel verbracht. Leider ist sein Gatte dort verstorben, Scotland Yard vermutet, dass es ein Unglücksfall war.“„Und Mr. Duchess glaubt, dass es Mord war?“Sherlock nickte. „Weil sein Mann Thomas starb, während er sich elektrisch rasierte. Das Kabel des Rasierapparates war defekt und es hat in Verbindung mit Wasser im Waschbecken einen Kurzschluss gegeben.“Ich runzelte die Stirn.„Und warum sollte das ein Grund sein, einen Mord zu vermuten?“„Weil er, Christoph, sich elektrisch rasiert. Thomas hingegen ein Verfechter der Nassrasur war.“„Ich verstehe.“Ich hatte in meiner Einheit einen Kameraden, der auch ein Gegner der elektrischen Rasur gewesen war. Besonders wenn das Wasser rationiert war, war er unausstehlich gewesen.„Und wo war Christoph, als sein Mann starb?“„Er war im Fitnesscenter des Hotels und hat dort eine Stunde Frühsport betrieben. Als er anschließend das Badezimmer der Suite betrat, fand Christoph ihn leblos vor. Er hat sofort einen Arzt gerufen, aber der konnte nur feststellen, dass Thomas Duchess seit etwa einer halben Stunde tot war. Anschließend wurde die Polizei benachrichtigt.“„Ist Inspektor Lestrade zuständig?“Sherlock schüttelte den Kopf. „Leider nur ein unfähiger Idiot, der, obwohl er die Aussage von Christoph Duchess vorliegen hat, vermutet, dass es ein Unfall war.“ Er lächelte. „Das war mein Glück, denn der Tote wurde zum Bestatter gebracht.“Ich ging zum Herd, um mir einen Tee aufzuschütten.Währenddessen erzählte Sherlock weiter. „Dort habe ich mir die Leiche angesehen. Der Mann hatte noch nicht einmal angefangen sich zu rasieren, als er starb. Der Stromschlag war zwar recht schwach gewesen, aber da er einen Herzschrittmacher trug, war es für ihn tödlich. Leider konnte ich nicht viel mehr erkennen, da der Bestatter ihn schon für die Aufbahrung zurecht gemacht hatte.“„Wie alt war er?“„Thomas hatte letztes Jahr seinen fünfzigsten Geburtstag gefeiert und Christoph wollte seinen vierzigsten Geburtstag in einigen Wochen groß feiern. Sie haben zusammen als Makler gearbeitet. Sehr erfolgreich und sie verdienten viel.“„Und sie haben Feinde, sonst hätte man Sie nicht engagiert.“Sherlock schüttelte den Kopf.„Angeblich nicht, Mitbewerber ja, aber laut Mr. Duchess‘ Aussage niemanden, der seinen Mann töten wollte.“„Und warum erwartet mich jetzt ein Wochenende im Luxushotel?“„Weil man mich sonst nicht in das Hotel lässt. Ich war gestern dort und nachdem ich an der Rezeption einige Fragen gestellt habe, wurde ich des Hauses verwiesen.“Mehr sagte Sherlock nicht, aber an der kleinen Falte auf der Stirn erkannte ich, wie verärgert er darüber war. Es war wirklich ungewöhnlich, denn wenn Sherlock charmant sein wollte, dann konnte er jeden Fremden für sich gewinnen.„Wieso der Unsinn mit Mr. und Mr. Watson-Holmes?“„Das war die Idee meines Klienten. Er vermutet, dass sein Mann umgebracht wurde, weil sie offen schwul waren. Haben Sie ein Problem damit, dass wir als Paar auftreten werden?“Da sowieso alle dachten, dass Sherlock und ich etwas miteinander hätten, konnte ich nur den Kopf schütteln.„Sollte ich das?“„Nein.“ Sherlock warf mir einen seltsamen Blick zu. „Da Sie schon Tee kochen, kann ich auch eine Tasse haben?“„Sicher.“Ich machte den Kühlschrank auf, um Milch heraus zu nehmen. In das oberste Fach hatte mein netter Mitbewohner einen säuberlich abgenommenen menschlichen Fuß gelegt. Normalerweise hätte ich damit keine Probleme aber …„Sherlock, können Sie den Fuß nicht einpacken, wenn Sie ihn in den Kühlschrank stellen? Er ist hat Fußpilz und das ist unhygienisch!“Zumal ein Regal tiefer die Reste vom Chinesen offen herum standen. Ich nahm die Schale und beförderte die Essensreste in den Mülleimer.Sherlock hatte seinen Kopf schon wieder über das verflixte Mikroskop gebeugt und ignorierte mich.Ich überlegte, ob er es wirklich verdient hatte, eine Tasse Tee zu bekommen, aber dann dachte ich an das Hotelzimmer, das ich für zwei Nächte beziehen würde. Luxus bedeutete mir nicht viel, aber da ich hier für das Waschen, Putzen und Kochen zuständig war, gefiel mir der Gedanke, mich ein Wochenende verwöhnen zu lassen.Leise stellte ich die Tasse neben Sherlock ab und verzog mich dann ins Wohnzimmer, an mein Laptop. Nur um festzustellen, dass Sherlock es wieder einmal benutzt hatte.Seufzend änderte ich mein Passwort. Dieses Mal nahm ich den Namen meiner Schwester und mein Geburtsdatum in amerikanischer Schreibweise. Viel Hoffnung, dass es helfen würde, hatte ich nicht.Danach versuchte ich, weitere Informationen über die Herren Duchess zu bekommen. Aber mehr als ihre Homepage, wo sie verschiedene Gebäude zum Verkauf oder zum Vermieten anboten, konnte ich nicht finden.Es gab aber ein Bild von ihnen. Einer jugendlich, attraktiv und sportlich, der andere älter, gesetzt und mit leichtem Bauchansatz. Ich starrte eine ganze Weile auf das Bild, zählte eins und eins zusammen und zuerst verstand nicht, wieso Sherlock den Fall angenommen hatte. Aber nach einiger Zeit des Überlegens, vermutete ich, was seine Beweggründe sein könnten.Der Tee war darüber kalt geworden und schmeckte nicht mehr.Also stand ich auf, ging in die Küche und setzte meine Tasse auf die Spüle.Sherlock hatte weiter seinen Kopf über das Mikroskop gebeugt.„Sie müssen mir auf die Sprünge helfen“, sagte ich zu seinem Hinterkopf.„Was wollen Sie über den Fall wissen?“„Nach dem, was Sie mir geschildert haben, hat Christoph Duchess morgens Sport getrieben während sein Mann ist im Zimmer geblieben ist. Und aus irgendeinem Grund hat dieser ausnahmsweise zum Rasierapparat seines Gatten gegriffen. Vielleicht war die Klinge an seinem Rasierer gebrochen, was auch immer.“Sherlock drehte sich um und sah mich an.„Interessant. Wie geht es weiter?“„Er hat keine Ersatzklinge mit und nimmt den Apparat seines Mannes, um sich zu rasieren. Das defekte Kabel rutscht ins Waschbecken, er bekommt einen Stromstoß und da er einen Herzschrittmacher trägt und niemand in der Nähe ist, um ihm zu helfen, stirbt er. Christoph kommt zurück, findet ihn, und um mit den Selbstvorwürfen, dass er Schuld am Tod seines Mannes ist, klarzukommen, ersinnt er die Theorie, dass es Mord ist. Wie hoch ist die Wahrscheinlichkeit, dass ich richtig liege?“„Die Wahrscheinlichkeit liegt bei achtzig Prozent“, bestätigte Sherlock meinen Verdacht.„Und warum haben Sie den Fall angenommen?“„Weil ich Christophe Duchess noch einen Gefallen schulde. Obwohl ich nicht der beste Mieter bin, hat er mir mehrfach eine Wohnung besorgt und durch ihn habe ich Mrs. Hudson kennen gelernt.“Nicht der beste Mieter, das war eine Sherlock-typische Untertreibung. Er war eine absolute Katastrophe. Ich schüttelte den Kopf. „Einen Gefallen hätten Sie ihm getan, wenn Sie ihm jeden Gedanke an einen Mord ausgeredet hätten.“„Das ging nicht. Ich war nicht am Tatort und bin mir nicht hundertprozentig sicher, dass es nur ein Unfall war. Zudem sind Diplomatie und Einfühlungsvermögen keine meiner hervorragenden Eigenschaften und ich hatte keine Lust, dass er in meiner Gegenwart einen Nervenzusammenbruch erleidet. Wir werden uns das Hotel ansehen und dann werden Sie es ihm beibringen.“Das war so Sherlock. „Und ich soll einfühlsamer sein?“ Doch mein Sarkasmus prallte an ihm ab.„Sie sind Arzt und bisher haben Sie solche Situationen immer gut gehandhabt.“Ich seufzte nur und fügte mich meinem Schicksal.***Ich hatte meine Reisetasche bereits am Donnerstag gepackt, so dass wir direkt nach meinem Feierabend aufbrechen konnten.Die Kleiderordnung der Hotels sah keine Anzugspflicht vor, doch ich hatte für das Abendessen einen eingepackt, um nicht underdressed zu sein. Ich hatte sowieso nur die Sachen eingepackt, über die Sherlock noch nie gemeckert hatte. Viel in dieser Kategorie besaß ich nicht, aber für ein Wochenende in einem Vier-Sterne-Hotel war es genug.Die Royal Suite war wirklich groß – und großartig.Als erstes betraten wir das geräumige Wohnzimmer, das in dunklen Brauntönen eingerichtet war. Vorne befand sich eine Couch vor einem gigantischen Plasmabildschirm, weiter hinten im Raum, direkt am Fenster stand ein großer Tisch mit Stühlen, den man sowohl als Arbeitsplatz, als auch als Esstisch verwenden konnte.Auf der linken Wandseite gab es zwei Türen, die zu den Schlafzimmern führte. Ich überließ Sherlock das größere und stellte meinen Koffer im kleinem ab, nahm meinen Kulturbeutel und ging ins Bad, das zwischen beiden Zimmern lag.Sherlock war schon da. Er hatte Wasser im Waschbecken eingelassen und einen Rasierapparat an den Strom angeschlossen. Im Gegensatz zu vielen Badezimmern war die Steckdose nicht direkt am Waschbecken, sondern seitlich.Als Sherlock einige Bewegungen machte, als ob er sich rasieren wollte, war das Kabel nicht einmal in der Nähe des Beckens.„Interessant. Dabei verwende ich den Typ Rasierapparat, der zum Todeszeitpunkt verwendet wurde. Halten Sie mal.“ Er drückte mir den Rasierapparat in die Hand und zog mich vor das Waschbecken.Er verließ das Bad, schloss die Tür hinter sich, nur um sie einen Moment später lautlos zu öffnen, mich anzublicken und mit einer nachlässigen Bewegung das Kabel in das Waschbecken zu werfen.„Gehen wir davon aus, dass in dem Waschbecken noch Wassertropfen sind, weil er sich vorher nass rasieren wollte, dann ist er jetzt tot.“„Und woher weiß der Täter das? Woher wusste er, dass der Rasierapparat defekt ist? Können Sie das von der Tür aus sehen?“Sherlock blickte mich an. „Das sind die richtigen Fragen. Aber leider habe ich noch keine Antworten.“ ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Das war es mit dem Verwöhnwochenende. Adrenalin schoss mir ins Blut und ich wusste, dass es vielleicht doch einen Mörder zu jagen gab.„Was meinen Sie, John?“„Ich glaube nicht, dass wir dieses Wochenende ins Spa gehen werden.“Sherlock lächelte dünn. „Vielleicht doch, aber nicht zur Erholung.“Er ging in sein Zimmer, nur um mit seinem Rasierapparat zurück zu kommen, den er auf die Ablage stellte.„Wir sollten daran arbeiten, als Paar überzeugend zu wirken. Was empfehlen Sie?“„Dass du“, ich betonte das du, „netter zu mir bist und mich nicht so viel herum kommandierst und wir ansonsten behaupten schon mehrere Jahre zusammen zu sein. Zudem sollten wir kleine Gesten der Zuneigung verwenden. Was meinen Sie, aaah, was meinst du?“ Das würde nicht so einfach werden.Er sah mich einen Moment an, nickte dann. „Das klingt logisch, John.“ Er lächelte. „Magst du nachher mit mir im Restaurant essen? Dann reserviere ich einen Tisch.“„Wie du möchtest.“ Ich stolperte schon wieder beinah über das Du. So eine Angewohnheit aufzugeben, war gar nicht so einfach. Scheinbar schien Sherlock damit keine Probleme zu haben.„Gut. Ich reserviere den Tisch und dann sehen wir uns im Hotel um.“Ich nickte nur, aber das konnte Sherlock nicht sehen, denn er verließ mit gezücktem Handy das Bad.Ich packte meinen Kulturbeutel aus, wusch mir die Hände und ging in das Wohnzimmer,Sherlock wartete dort schon auf mich und zusammen verließen wir unsere Suite.Systematisch sahen wir uns alle öffentlichen und einige nicht ganz so öffentliche Bereiche an.Hin und wieder musste ich Sherlock anstupsen, damit er sich nicht ganz so auffällig benahm, doch ansonsten unterschied es sich von keinem anderen Fall, den wir schon gemeinsam gelöst hatten. Er rannte vor und ich versuchte hinterher zu kommen dabei hatte ich nicht die geringste Idee, worauf er achtete, was ihm wichtig war.Wir gingen durch die Bars und warfen einen Blick in das Fitness-Center. Rein zufällig landeten wir danach mit dem Aufzug im Keller, wo die Haustechnik untergebracht war. Dort standen aber Mitarbeiter des Hotels vor dem Fahrstuhl, so dass wir sie einsteigen ließen und nicht mehr als einen flüchtigen Blick erhaschen konnten.Sherlock betrat den Spa Bereich, und ich wartete draußen. Zwei Personen gleichzeitig in Straßenkleidung würden auffallen, Sherlock alleine konnte sich umsehen und Prospekte mitbringen.Kaum fünf Minuten später verließ er den Wellnessbereich wieder und ging an mir vorbei zum Aufzug. „Du hast morgen früh um zehn einen Termin zur Massage, ich um elf. Dann können wir uns unauffällig umschauen. Jetzt waren Gäste in der Sauna.“„Wonach suchen wir eigentlich?“Sherlock zuckte mit den Schultern. „Ich habe nicht die geringste Ahnung, aber ich habe gerade ein interessantes Gespräch mit dem Masseur, Peter, geführt. Er hat mich ganz besonders darauf hingewiesen, dass man das Hammam nur nutzen kann, wenn keine gesundheitlichen Probleme vorliegen.“Ich drückte den Knopf, um den Fahrstuhl zu holen.„Das ist auch richtig so. Mit Herz-Kreislauf-Erkrankungen ist es nicht ungefährlich, eine Sauna zu betreten. Als Arzt würde ich jedem meiner Patienten davon abraten.“„Dann ist es nur Zufall, dass innerhalb der letzten zwei Jahre drei ältere Männer nach dem Besuch des Hammams gestorben sind, weil sie ihrem Kreislauf zu viel zugemutet hatten?“ Er grinste mich dabei an.Mir blieb der Mund offen stehen. Damit hatte ich nicht gerechnet. Gut, dass in dem Moment der Aufzug nach einem leisen Plingen die Tür öffnete.Wir ließen ein älteres Paar – das mit Bademäntel bekleidet war – heraus und betraten den Lift. Sherlock drückte den Knopf zu unserer Etage, während ich versuchte, das soeben Gehörte zu verdauen.Drei Todesfälle in zwei Jahren waren nicht normal. Bestimmt nicht.„Wieso ist das niemandem aufgefallen? Das sind zu viele Tote!“„Wahrscheinlich waren unterschiedliche Notärzte hier und da ein Kreislaufkollaps mit Todesfolge eine sehr natürliche Art ist, um zu sterben, ist vielleicht die Polizei gerufen worden, aber die hat das dann nicht weiter verfolgt.“Wir kamen auf unserer Etage an und Sherlock ging mit langen Schritten zu unserem Zimmer. Ich musste mich anstrengen, um nicht abgehängt zu werden.In unserer Suite angekommen, drehte er sich um. „Ich habe beiläufig erwähnt, dass dein Kreislauf nicht der beste ist und du deswegen Medikamente nehmen musst. Ich überlasse es dir, bei passender Gelegenheit das ein oder andere Symptom zu zeigen.“„Toll, Sherlock, wirklich toll. Sie wissen, dass ich damit zur Zielscheibe geworden bin?“ Wieso regte ich mich über ihn auf? Er würde sich doch nicht ändern!„Du, bitteschön“„Was?“„Um unserer Rolle gerecht zu werden, musst du mich duzen.“ Dies sagte er mit einer unheimlichen Ruhe.Bevor ich meine Beherrschung verlor und ihm eine runter haute, ging ich in mein Zimmer. Dabei war ich zu stolz, um die Tür zuzuschlagen, sondern ließ sie leise ins Schloss fallen.Ich setzte mich aufs Bett und fuhr mir mit den Fingern durch die Haare.Ja, Sherlocks Plan, dass einer von uns zum Ziel für den unbekannten Täter werden sollte, war logisch. Aber wieso musste ich immer derjenige sein?Leider war die Antwort sehr logisch. Sherlock sah alles, nur nicht krank aus. Mir würde man schon ein Gebrechen abnehmen. Unwillkürlich massierte ich meine Schulter. Es war ja nicht so, dass ich beschwerdefrei war.Einer viertel Stunde lang hatte ich Ruhe vor ihm, bis es leise an der Tür klopfte. „John, was ist mit dem Abendessen? Kommst du mit, oder soll ich absagen?“Ich hätte gerne abgesagt, aber ich hatte Hunger. „Gib mir fünf Minuten, dann komm ich!“So sehr Sherlock mich regelmäßig zur Weißglut trieb, so wusste ich, dass er sich nicht ändern würde, einfach weil er nicht verstand, warum es mich aufregte. Er würde es hinnehmen, weiterarbeiten und hoffen, dass ich wieder vernünftig werden würde.Dabei war ich vernünftig.An diesem Tag war es genau so. Als ich mein Zimmer verließ, saß Sherlock am Wohnzimmertisch, hatte das Laptop vor sich aufgeklappt und war tief in Recherchearbeit versunken.Ich atmete tief ein.„Und? Was hast du erfahren?“„Ich habe Lestrade eine SMS geschickt und ihn gebeten, mir die Namen aller Personen zu geben, die in diesem Hotel gestorben sind. Noch habe ich keine Antwort bekommen. Genauso wenig, wie das Internet etwas darüber verrät. Ohne Informationen kann ich nicht arbeiten.“ Er hörte sich so frustriert an und ich musste grinsen.Mein Ärger war zwar nicht vergessen, aber um ein Vielfaches geringer als noch vor wenigen Minuten.„Dann lass uns essen gehen, vielleicht weiß Lestrade anschließend mehr.“Sherlock blickte hoch, sah mich an und nickte.Normalerweise klappte er sein Laptop einfach zu, heute jedoch fuhr er es jetzt runter und räumte es weg.Dann dachte ich daran, dass im Badezimmer ein Mann gestorben war. Angeblich ohne Fremdeinwirkung eines natürlichen Todes. Meine Nackenhaare stellten sich auf und mir wurde klar, dass mich das anheimelnde Ambiente der Suite unvorsichtig gemacht hatte. Der Gedanke, dass wir die Tür hinter uns abschließen konnten bedeutete nicht, dass wir in Sicherheit waren. Die gab es hier nicht und wir konnten im Schlaf überrascht werden.Das war selbst für mich ein wenig viel an Abenteuer.Mein Revolver hätte mir Sicherheit gegeben, aber leider lag er in meiner Nachtischschublade in der Baker Street.Gemeinsam gingen wir zum Restaurant. Die Speisekarte bot englische und französische Küche. Hungrig wie ich war, bestellte ich ein Menü. Sherlock dagegen nahm nur eine Suppe als Hauptmahlzeit.Wir unterhielten uns über belanglose Dinge. Nach dem Hauptgang drehte sich das Gespräch hauptsächlich um die letzte Doctor Who Folge. Anfangs hatte ich Sherlock genötigt, mit mir zu schauen, aber seit der letzten Staffel war er immer zu Hause, wenn eine neue Folge lief.Das war natürlich reiner Zufall und es lag nicht daran, dass er die Serie liebte.Als er sich über die Unlogik des Doctors aufregte und mit der rechten Hand wild gestikulierte, legte ich meine Hand auf die Finger seiner linken, die auf dem Tisch einen wilden Rhythmus trommelten und lächelte ihn an.Sherlock wurde ganz still und blickte mich verwirrt an. Ich sah, wie seine Gedanken rasten und er versuchte, diese kleine Geste einzuordnen. Dann hatte er es, er lächelte zurück, drehte seine Hand so, dass unsere Handinnenflächen sich berührten und streichelte sacht meinen Daumen.Mein Herz raste und meine Lippen waren ganz trocken.Sherlocks Blick, seine Intensität, hatte mich eingefangen und ich wusste, dass ich verloren war.„Ihr Nachtisch, Sir!“ Ich zuckte zusammen. In dem Moment zog Sherlock seine Hand zurück. Ich blickte hoch und sah, dass der Kellner eine große Glasplatte hielt. Sein Blick war auf meinen Arm gerichtet, der im Weg war.„Ja, natürlich!“ Ich machte Platz und bekam meine Nachtischvariationen vorgesetzt.Ich konnte mich nicht richtig auf die Köstlichkeiten konzentrieren, ich fühlte immer noch Sherlocks Finger in meinen.Ich war seltsam befangen nachdem wir das Essen beendet hatten und auf unser Zimmer gingen. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Als die Tür hinter uns zugefallen war blieb ich stehen und sah Sherlock erwartungsvoll an. Dabei hatte ich keine Ahnung, was mich erwarten würde.„Habe ich das unten richtig gemacht, war das eine deiner kleinen Gesten, die eine Beziehung ausmachen?“Eine kalte Dusche war nichts dagegen und es dauerte einen Moment, bis ich meine Stimme unter Kontrolle hatte.„Ja, es war perfekt.“„Der Blick des Kellners war missbilligend.“ Sherlock hörte sich dabei sehr zufrieden an.„Es gibt viele, die mit Homosexualität ein Problem haben, aber dafür werden sie nicht sofort zu Mördern.“ Auch wenn ich mich anders fühlte, blieb ich nett und freundlich.„Er wird es aber bestimmt seinen Kollegen weiter erzählen.“ Sherlock holte sein Laptop raus und fuhr es hoch. Damit war er abgelenkt und würde sich nicht auf meine Reaktionen konzentrieren. Ich wollte nicht, dass er herausfand, was in mir vorging.„Was hast du für heute Abend geplant?“, wollte ich noch wissen – ich wollte keine Überraschung mehr erleben. Wenigstens heute nicht.Er zuckte mit den Schultern. „Wir können hier bleiben. Als Paar im Verwöhnurlaub sollten wir Zeit zusammen verbringen. Aahhhh!“ Sherlock fischte sein Handy aus der Hosentasche. „Das wird die SMS von Lestrade sein.“Er blickte auf das Display, dann tippte er Daten in seinen Laptop ein und ich war vergessen.Dieses Mal war es mir sehr recht. Musste ich doch meine Gefühle unter Kontrolle bekommen.Sherlock hat mich schon immer fasziniert und obwohl er mir manchmal ganz gehörig auf den Wecker ging, würde ich ohne eine Sekunde zu zögern mit ihm eine Beziehung eingehen. Da wir zusammen wohnten und zusammen Verbrechen aufklärten hatten wir eigentlich schon eine Beziehung, der nur noch ein Punkt fehlte. Mit ihm Sex zu haben, seine komplette, ungeteilte Aufmerksamkeit geschenkt zu bekommen gehörte zu meinen geheimen Phantasien.Und es würde nur eine Phantasie bleiben. Sherlock hatte mir gesagt, dass er mit seiner Arbeit verheiratet war und in mir nur einen Freund sah. Nicht mehr.Schluss, Ende, Basta – das böse Stimmchen, das immer wieder versuchte, mir das Gegenteil einzureden, musste ich einfach ignorieren.Ich ging zur Minibar und durchforstete den Inhalt. Ich wollte mich nicht betrinken, aber ich brauchte etwas, um den Schmerz zu betäuben.„Sherlock ist Sekt das richtige Getränk für den heutigen Abend?“„Hmm!“Ich blickte ihn an, doch er war vollkommen auf seinen Laptop konzentriert.So nahm ich die Flasche, suchte nach Gläsern und schenkte uns ein.Ich stellte Sherlocks Glas auf den Tisch, meins leerte ich mit einem Zug und füllte es noch einmal nach. Danach setzte ich mich auf die Couch und schaltete den Fernseher ein. Ich zappte mich durch die Programme, bis ich beim History Channel hängen blieb, der eine Dokumentation über Ärzte im zweiten Weltkrieg sendete. Es war interessant und in medizinischer Hinsicht gut recherchiert, so dass es mich ablenkte.Langsam beruhigte ich mich wieder und bekam meine Gefühle wieder unter Kontrolle.Kurz vor Ende der Sendung setzte sich Sherlock zu mir auf die Couch, griff zur Sektflasche und füllte sein Glas nach. Er leerte es in einem Zug.Ich ignorierte ihn und starrte weiter auf den Bildschirm.Als der Abspann lief, machte ich den Fernseher aus und sah ihn an.„Was hast du herausgefunden?“„Es ist noch schlimmer als bisher gedacht. Innerhalb von zwei Jahren sind in diesem Hotel sechs Menschen gestorben.“„Sechs?“, rief ich erstaunt. Aber das war für ihn kein Grund zu trinken.Sherlock nickte während er weiterredete: „Drei an den Folgen eines Kreislaufkollapses und einer an einem Stromschlag, wie wir ja schon wissen. Dazu kommt noch einer, der an Herzversagen gestorben ist und eine Frau hat Selbstmord begangen, indem Sie Tabletten genommen hat.“„Was ist deine Meinung dazu?“ Die Anzahl der Toten machte mich etwas nervös.„Der Selbstmord war wahrscheinlich der einzige Tod ohne Fremdeinwirkung.“ Dies sagte Sherlock so trocken, dass ich grinsen musste.„Was weißt du über die Toten?“„Manche Menschen sind im Internet sehr exhibitionistisch, was Nachforschungen ungemein erleichtert.“ Sherlock trank ein Schluck Sekt. Er sah so aus, als ob er mit mir spielen wollte – ich tat ihm den Gefallen und spielte mit.„Das ist eine allgemein bekannte Tatsache. Waren die Bilder so schlimm, dass du den Alkohol brauchst?“Sherlock nickte. „Einige der Bilder waren pornographisch. Mit Details die mich weder interessierten, noch irgendwie ästhetisch waren.“Nein, ich weigerte mich, mir irgendetwas vorzustellen – wusste ich doch, dass meine Phantasie sehr bunt und farbig ist. „Darüber will ich nichts wissen. Was weißt du über die Opfer?“„Von den fünf Toten, war Thomas Duchess der einzige, der seine sexuelle Orientierung nicht bei jeder sich bietenden Gelegenheit heraus posaunt hatte. Die anderen waren sehr…“, er suchte nach Worten, „… freizügig. Das hat meine Recherche erleichtert.“„Und zu welcher Schlussfolgerung bist du gekommen?“„Dass sie wahrscheinlich wegen ihrer Orientierung getötet worden sind. Der Täter arbeitet seit etwa zwei Jahren im Hotel und ist wahrscheinlich im Wellnessbereich beschäftigt.“„Warum das?“„Weil drei Personen an den Folgen eines Saunabesuches gestorben sind. Wenn das kein Hinweis ist, was dann?“ Sherlock wartete aber nicht auf eine Reaktion und erklärte weiter. „Peter habe ich heute gesehen, und wir haben morgen den Massagetermin bei Bridget. Da ich schon bei der Vorbesprechung den Termin für meinen Mann und mich gebucht habe, könnte es sein, dass der Täter informiert ist und angreift.“Danach griff er wieder zur Sektflasche, doch sie war leer. Sherlock stand auf, ging zu Minibar und kam mit einer Flasche Bier zurück, die er mir hinstellte.Er selbst setzte sich wieder hin und starrte ins Nichts.„Ist das alles? Oder muss ich wieder alles selbst rausfinden?“Sherlock seufzte.„Mehr habe ich bisher nicht herausgefunden. Ich hatte gehofft, hier noch den einen oder anderen Hinweis zu finden, aber alles ist so sauber und geschrubbt, dass es selbst für mich nichts mehr zum Analysieren gibt. Wir werden morgen Nachmittag mit Inspektor Lestrade den Manager des Hotels sprechen, damit ich Einsicht in die Personalakten erhalte.“Jetzt verstand ich, warum Sherlock nicht schon beim Manager vorgesprochen hatte.„War nicht ein anderer Inspektor zuständig?“„Der ist nur für Thomas Duchess zuständig gewesen und hat den Fall direkt abgeschlossen. Bei den anderen Fällen waren nur einfache Beamte vor Ort, die den Todesfall aufgenommen und direkt abgeschlossen haben, da die Ärzte eine natürliche Todesursache diagnostiziert hatten.“„Wie geht es jetzt weiter?“Sherlock sprang auf und wanderte unruhig hin und her.„Wir müssen warten – ich hasse es, während eines Falles nichts unternehmen zu können. Aber der Mörder darf nicht auf uns aufmerksam werden.“Er nahm sich seinen Mantel und blickte mich an. „Komm mit. Wir werden ausgehen, ich kann hier nicht rumsitzen.“Nur zu gerne folgte ich seiner Aufforderung.Wir zogen durch mehrere Nachtclubs. In jedem bestellten wir uns einen Drink und Sherlock deutete auf die Menschen und ratterte Beruf, Hobbys, Haustiere und Beziehungsstand herunter. Ich gab mir keine Mühe, das zu überprüfen, ich wusste, dass er Recht hatte.Während ich meine Drinks austrank, nippte Sherlock nur an dem Alkohol. Das hatte zur Folge, dass ich mich nicht deutlich an die letzten beiden Clubs erinnern konnte und auf den Heimweg auf Sherlocks Hilfe angewiesen war.Er musste mir auch ins Bett geholfen haben, denn am nächsten Morgen erwachte ich komplett ausgezogen und konnte mich nicht daran erinnern, wie ich das geschafft hatte.Das Aufstehen war nicht einfach, denn die Kopfschmerzen hatten es in sich. Ich schleppte mich ins Bad. Im Kulturbeutel hatte ich noch ein Schmerzmittel, das ich nahm.Ein Blick auf die Uhr zeigte, dass ich noch etwas Zeit bis zum Massagetermin hatte. Bei dem Gedanke an Frühstück verkrampfte sich mein Magen, aber hinlegen wollte ich mich auch nicht mehr.Ich zog mir etwas an und ging ins Wohnzimmer.Sherlock trug seinen roten Morgenmantel und saß zeitungslesend am Esstisch.Ein Frühstück stand auf dem Tisch und eine Kanne Tee verströmte einen verführerischen Duft.„Morgen. Ist der Tee für mich?“„Auch. Ich habe zwei Scheiben Toast bestellt, die sollte dein Magen vertragen. Nüchtern solltest du nicht zur Massage gehen.“„Ich bin Arzt, ich weiß das“, grummelte ich und setzte mich. „Kann ich auch einen Teil der Zeitung haben?“„Sicher. „ Sherlock reichte mir den weltpolitischen Teil der Times.Um zehn Uhr war ich in einem Zustand, dass ich zur Massage gehen konnte. Die Tatsache, dass es vielleicht gefährlich sein konnte, half mir, meinen Kater zu bekämpfen.Doch der Gedanke, nackt und unbewaffnet dabei zu sein, behagte mir gar nicht.Ich konnte gut schießen, aber meine Selbstverteidigung war eher mittelmäßig.Sherlock würde nichts sagen, wenn ich den Termin absagen würde, denn das wäre der vernünftige Weg, aber der Nervenkitzel war stärker. Ich kannte meine Schwäche und gab ihr nur zu gerne nach.Ich wollte nicht in einem Bademantel durch das Hotel gehen, deswegen packte ich Bademantel und Badehose in eine Tasche. Gerade als ich unsere Suite verlassen wollte, rief mir Sherlock noch: „Lass dir nicht den Kopf bei der Massage abreißen“, hinterher.„Ich bin vorsichtig. Wir sehen uns später“, war meine Erwiderung, danach öffnete ich die Tür.Im Spa erwartete mich eine etwa dreißig Jahre alte Frau. Sie überragte mich um einen halben Kopf und war kräftig gebaut. Aber in einer sehr femininen Art und Weise, die sehr attraktiv war. „Hallo, ich bin Bridget und werde mich um Sie kümmern. Herr Watson-Holmes, folgen Sie mir bitte.“„Hallo, bitte nur Dr. Watson oder John, ich finde den Doppelnamen viel zu umständlich.“ Ich lächelte sie an und sie lächelte zurück.„Wie Sie wünschen.“ Sie führte mich zu einer Umkleidekabine. „Hier können Sie sich umziehen und wenn Sie fertig sind schließen Sie ab und nehmen den Schlüssel mit, so dass Ihre Wertgegenstände sicher sind. Ich warte im zweiten Raum auf der linken Seite auf Sie.“ Dabei deutete sie auf eine Tür, die angelehnt war.„Dankeschön.“Schnell hatte ich mich ausgezogen und die Badehose angezogen. Ich legte den Bademantel an, verließ die Umkleide und ging in den von ihr bezeichneten Raum.Das Licht war gedämpft und mehrere Kerzen verbreiteten eine heimelige Atmosphäre. Es duftete nach Zitrone und frisch geschnittenem Gras.Perfekt für eine entspannende Massage – wenn ich nicht die ganze Zeit den Hintergedanken im Kopf gehabt hätte, dass Bridget vielleicht gefährlich sein könnte. So stand ich im Raum und wartete ab.Bridget kam mit einem Stapel Handtüchern in den Raum, die sie auf einem Tisch ablegte.„Ihr Mann hat für Sie eine Stunde Massage gebucht, aber offen gelassen, was für eine Sie wünschen. Ich schlage eine Ganzkörpermassage mit Schwerpunkt auf dem Rücken vor. Sie wirken auf mich ziemlich verspannt.“Angespannt wäre der bessere Ausdruck, aber das brauchte sie nicht zu wissen. So lächelte ich und machte meine Schultern frei.Ich sah, dass sie tief einatmete, aber ansonsten reagierte sie nicht auf das Narbengewebe der linken Schulter.„Ist das Schuld an Ihren Verspannungen?“„Auch, obwohl ich als Arzt viel Bewegung bekomme, muss ich viel zu viele Berichte schreiben.“„Ziehen Sie sich bitte aus und um den Rest werde ich mich kümmern.“ Ihr resoluter Tonfall ließ keinen Widerspruch zu und ich folgte ihrer AnweisungSie verteilte wohlriechendes Öl in ihren Händen und fing an.Es war Himmel und Hölle zugleich. Ich wusste gar nicht, wie verspannt meine Schulter war. Zu sehr hatte ich mich an den Zustand gewöhnt.Und diese Zauberin löste mit schmerzhaften Griffen jede einzelne schmerzende Stelle und zurück blieb nur ein wohliges Gefühl.„Jetzt legen Sie sich auf den Bauch, damit ich weiter machen kann, die Arme bitte locker runter hängen lassen.“Ich legte mich hin und sie bearbeitete meinen Rücken. Es war nicht mehr so schmerzhaft wie zu Beginn und der Rest meines Körpers entspannte sich.„Wie kommt ein Arzt zu so einer Verletzung? Das sieht nicht nach einem Autounfall aus.“„Nein, das ist in Afghanistan passiert.“Ihre Hände vollbrachten wahre Wunder und ich stöhnte wohlig auf.„Sie haben gekämpft?“„Als Arzt ist das nie mein Job gewesen. Aber ich bin in ein Gefecht verwickelt worden, als meine Einheit verlegt wurde. Wir wurden unterwegs angegriffen.“ Bilder von einer sandigen Landschaft und verletzten Kameraden waren wieder viel zu präsent. Ich schüttelte den Kopf, um sie los zu werden. „Können wir über etwas anderes sprechen? Es weckt unangenehme Erinnerungen.“„Das wollte ich nicht, John. Worüber möchten Sie reden?“Vielleicht war das die Möglichkeit, um mehr zu erfahren.„Erzählen Sie etwas von sich. Wie kommt es, dass eine Frau, die bei mir solche Wunder vollbringt, in einem Hotel und nicht in einer Klinik arbeitet?“„In der Klinik arbeitet mein Exmann.“ Bridgets Tonfall war eisig. „Und ich konnte es nicht ertragen, ihn und seinen Neuen jeden Tag zu sehen und habe den erstbesten Job angenommen, den ich bekommen konnte. Inzwischen gefällt es mir sehr gut. In der Klinik habe ich nicht so viel Trinkgeld wie hier bekommen.“Ich atmete ganz ruhig ein und aus. Ich durfte nicht verspannen, durfte nicht zeigen, dass ich irgendetwas ahnte, sie würde es garantiert merken.„Da wusste er aber nicht, was er an Ihnen hat. Eine Frau mit Ihren Wunderhänden würde ich niemals gehen lassen.“Die Wunderhände fühlten sich auf einmal anders auf meiner Haut an. Nicht mehr einschmeichelnd und gefällig, sondern hart und schmerzhaft. Ich stöhnte auf, als ihr Daumen sich besonders fest in meine Haut bohrte.„Dankeschön, aber ich glaube, das ist auch nicht das richtige Thema, denn das ist bei mir ein wunder Punkt.“ Ich hörte, wie sie laut ein- und ausatmete. „Entschuldigung, wenn es gerade zu fest war.“ ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- „Nicht so schlimm.“ Während ihre Hände, mich wieder sanft bearbeiteten und zu meinen Beinen wanderten, überlegte ich, was ich noch weiter sagen konnte, ohne Bridget zu alarmieren.Aber mehr als obszöne Töne, weil die Massage so gut war, brachte ich nicht zustande. Ich wusste, dass es mehr als eine Methode gab, mich ganz subtil auf dem Massagetisch zu töten und es wie einen Unfall aussehen zu lassen, doch so gut wie ihre Behandlung meinem Körper tat, wurde dieser Gedanke immer weiter in den Hintergrund gedrängt und ich entspannte mich.Als Bridget versuchte, meine Fußsohlen zu massieren, zuckte ich zusammen.„Alles in Ordnung?“, hörte ich ihre besorgte Stimme.„Ich bin kitzelig“, gab ich zu.„Entschuldigung!“ Sie hörte auf. „Dann sind wir jetzt fertig, ich habe Sie fast anderthalb Stunden massiert.“„Bitte?“ Ich schrak hoch und blickte mich um. Sie deutete auf eine kleine Uhr, die an der Wand hing. Es war fast halb elf.„Sie brauchten es.“ Bridget lächelte mich an und ich fragte mich, ob sie wirklich eine eiskalte Mörderin war.„Sherlock hatte einen Termin um elf und wird sich wohl fragen, was wir hier treiben.“ Ich fragte mich, wo er war, normalerweise wäre er schon längst reingestürmt.„Wenn Sie den schlanken, dunkelhaarigen Herrn meinen, der gegen elf Uhr leise die Tür geöffnet hatte und dann wieder verschwunden ist, dann wird er wissen, warum es so lange gedauert hat. Und Ihnen empfehle ich jetzt noch einen Besuch im Hammam. Nicht mehr als zehn Minuten und anschließend eine lange Dusche. Dann sollten Sie in den nächsten Tagen keine Probleme mit Ihrer Schulter haben.“„Danke, vielen Dank.“Ich rutschte von der Liege, zog meine Badehose wieder an und Bridget reichte mir den Bademantel, den ich locker überwarf. Ich fühlte mich ein wenig wackelig auf den Beinen, dafür aber herrlich entspannt.Als ich den Massageraum verließ, wartete Sherlock schon auf mich. Er kam auf mich zu, nahm mich in den Arm. „Wie war die Massage?“ Er beugte sich vor, so dass sein Mund auf der Höhe meines Ohres war. „Hast du etwas herausgefunden?“, die leise Stimme und sein Atem auf meiner Haute, fühlten sich sehr erotisch an.„Sie war göttlich. Meine Schulter fühlt sich an wie neu.“Ich zog ihn ein wenig näher. „Bridget hat einen Ex, der sie für einen andern Mann verlassen hat.“ Auch ich flüsterte.Bevor ich mich von ihm löste, inhalierte ich seinen Duft. Sein Aftershave war sehr dezent, aber es war kombiniert mit seinem ureigenen Duft ein Aphrodisiakum. Sofort schoss das Blut in die falsche Körperregion.Ich ließ mir aber nichts anmerken, sondern löste mich von ihm und lächelte ihn schief an. „Ich gehe noch ins Hamman und dann sollte meine Schulter für die nächsten Tage wie neu sein. Ich hoffe nur, dass ich dabei nicht einschlafe.“Ich hoffte, dass er verstand, dass er hinterher kommen sollte, wenn ich mich nicht in einer viertel Stunde bei ihm melden würde.Sherlock blickte mich einen Moment an und nickte unmerklich.„Herr Watson-Holmes?“, ertönte Bridgets Stimme. „Hier können Sie sich umziehen und wenn Sie fertig sind schließen Sie ab und nehmen den Schlüssel mit, so dass Ihre Wertgegenstände sicher sind. Alles klar, John?“„Ja“, entgegnete ich.„John, hier geht es zum Hamman.“ Bridget begleitete mich, nahm mir vor dem Eingang den Bademantel ab und dann ging ich hinein.Eine angenehme Wärme umfing mich.Ich hörte, wie sie leise die Tür hinter mir schloss und ging in den recht kleinen orientalisch gefliesten Raum hinein. Viel sehen konnte ich nicht, weil eine weiße Dampfwolke alles umhüllte.Ich legte mich auf eine der Bänke und genoss die Wärme, doch kurz darauf setzte ich mich auf, weil ich nicht einschlafen wollte.Obwohl ich normalerweise keine Kreislaufprobleme habe, hatte die Massage mich angegriffen.Ich atmete langsam ein und aus, dabei hatte ich den Eindruck, dass die Luft nicht mehr angenehm warm, sondern mit jedem Atemzug immer heißer wurde, bis es unerträglich war. Dabei war ich noch keine fünf Minuten im Hammam. Aber es reichte mir.Ich stand auf und ging zur Tür. Als ich sie öffnen wollte ging es nicht. Im ersten Moment dachte ich, ich hätte nur einen Knopf oder einen Riegel übersehen, aber sie war fest verschlossen. Ich rüttelte an dem Türknauf, versuchte sie mit der Schulter aufzudrücken – jedoch vergeblich. Aber vielleicht waren Leute im Gang? Ich spähte durch das Glasfenster hinaus, aber ich konnte niemanden sehen.Nein! Ich war in eine Falle getappt!Bridget hatte mich einfach eingesperrt und ich war der Hitze ausgeliefert!„Sherlock! Sherlock!“, rief ich und hämmerte mit meinen Fäusten gegen die Glasscheibe. Danach musste ich husten, es war unerträglich heiß und die Luft brannte in meiner Lunge.Ich sah mich um, doch der geflieste Raum bot keinen Ausweg. Noch einmal sammelte ich meine Kräfte und schrie so laut wie ich konnte: „Sherlock! Hilfe!! Kann mich jemand hören?“Doch niemand kam angelaufen und niemand ging zufällig vor der Tür vorbei.Ich sackte erschöpft und um Atem ringend an der Tür zu Boden und versuchte so ruhig wie möglich meine Lage zu überdenken. Noch zehn Minuten musste ich durchhalten, bis Sherlock misstrauisch wurde. Zehn Minuten, das sollte doch zu schaffen sein. Gut, die Luftfeuchtigkeit lag bei gefühlten hundert Prozent und die Temperaturen waren weit über den üblichen vierzig bis fünfzig Grad. Ich schätzte, dass es über siebzig Grad heiß war. Aber verflucht, Afghanistan war auch heiß gewesen. Zehn Minuten – das sollte doch zu schaffen sein.Plötzlich hatte ich eine Idee. Ich nahm einen der Wasserschläuche und drehte ihn auf. Das Wasser war lauwarm aber im Vergleich zur Lufttemperatur eine Abkühlung. Ich hockte mich hin, weil es unten am kühlsten war und hielt mir den Schlauch über meinen Kopf.Dabei versuchte ich gleichmäßig zu atmen. Aber immer wieder musste ich husten, und ich merkte, wie ich immer schwächer wurde, obwohl ich nichts getan hatte.Es fiel mir schwer, den Schlauch zu halten und ich legte ihn über meine Schulter.Ich durfte jetzt nicht ohnmächtig werden, musste nur noch zehn Minuten aushalten.Ich merkte wie meine Wahrnehmung immer mehr verschwamm. Das Zeitgefühl kam mir abhanden und ich konnte nicht sagen, wie lange ich jetzt schon hier drin war. Um Kräfte zu sparen legte ich mich lang auf den Boden und schloss für einen Moment die Augen.„John, John, bitte John!“Mühsam öffnete ich die Augen. Alles war wie hinter einem halb-durchsichtigen Schleier.„Sherlock?“„Genau.“Ich fühlte, wie ich hoch gehoben wurde und dann kam ein kühler Luftzug. Gierig schnappte ich nach Luft. Die Kälte tat so gut.Dann wurde ich vorsichtig auf einer Liege abgelegt. Es war die Massageliege.„Was ist los?“ Ich wollte mich aufsetzen, doch Sherlock hielt mich fest. „Streng dich nicht an. Du warst bewusstlos und ich habe einen Arzt gerufen.“„Bridget?“Seine Lippen wurden zu einem dünnen Strich.„Sherlock!“ Ich blickte ihn an und stellte fest, dass er nackt war und seine Haut ölig glänzte.„Gut, wie du willst. Als du nach einer viertel Stunde noch nicht aus der Sauna zurückgekommen bist, wollte ich zu dir kommen, aber dieser Frau hat versucht, mich davon abzuhalten.“ Sherlock lief auf und ab. „Zuerst hat sie auf mich eingeredet, aber als ich ihre Hände zur Seite geschoben habe und aufstehen wollte, hat sie versucht, mich festzuhalten. Sie dachte, dass sie mir körperlich überlegen sei, aber da hatte sie sich getäuscht.“Ein schmales Lächeln, das nicht echt war, erschien auf Sherlocks Gesicht.„Und dann?“„Ich habe sie gepackt, in die Umkleidekabine verfrachtet, mein und ihr Handy mitgenommen, damit sie sich nicht bei den falschen Leuten bemerkbar machen konnte und abgeschlossen. Danach bin ich zum Hammam gelaufen und habe festgestellt, dass die Tür verkeilt war. Ich habe sie aufgerissen und du lagst ohnmächtig im Eingang. John...“ er suchte nach Worten. Sagte aber nichts mehr und starrte mich an. Mit all der Intensität, zu der nur Sherlock Holmes fähig war.Und mir wurde klar, dass er gelogen hatte, dass er gestern beim Abendessen nicht geschauspielert hatte, sondern dass er genauso gefühlt hatte, wie ich auch.Ich setzte mich auf und wollte reagieren, damit er merkte, dass er nicht der einzige war, der so empfand, als ich eilige Schritte hörte. „Sherlock! Was ist los? Ich kam, so schnell es ging.“ Lestrade betrat den Raum und kam ruckartig zum Stehen. Er sah sich um, nahm ein Handtuch, dass er Sherlock zuwarf.„Wir haben den Fall mit dem Toten im Badezimmer gelöst.“ Sherlock wickelte es sich um die Hüfte.„Doch beinahe hätte John es nicht überlebt, weil man ihm im Hammam eingesperrt und die Heizung hochgedreht hat. Mit einem schwachen Kreislauf wäre er ein Kandidat für die Notaufnahme gewesen.“ „Aber …“, wollte Lestrade einwerfen, doch Sherlock war nicht zu bremsen.„ Dem Massageöl waren entspannende Substanzen beigemischt, um ihn wehrlos zu machen. Ihr Labor wird das sicher bestätigen können. Aber immerhin haben wir damit den Fall gelöst.“„Ist ihr ‚Fall’ nicht im Badezimmer umgebracht worden?“ Lestrade ließ dieses Mal nicht zu, dass Sherlock ihn unterbrach.„Ja, aber Thomas Duchess hatte sich auch massieren lassen. Als ich im Spa den Termin für John und mich gebucht hatte, musste ich warten, bis jemand kam. In der Zeit habe ich die Reservierungsliste durchgeblättert und seinen Namen gelesen. Thomas war der einzige Kunde an dem Vormittag.“Sherlock machte eine Pause.Doch weder Lestrade noch ich verstanden worauf er hinaus wollte.„Und wie ist er umgebracht worden?“, stellte Lestrade die alles entscheidende Frage.„Weil er einen angegriffenen Kreislauf hatte und die Massage in Kombination mit dem Öl alles verstärkt hatte, ging er nicht ins Hamman, sondern Bridget hatte ihn zur Suite begleitet, damit er nicht unterwegs zusammenklappte. So ist sie ohne Schlüssel hinein gekommen.“Das erschien mir logisch. „Aber wie ist sie ins Bad gekommen und wieso hielt er den Rasierapparat in der Hand?“Sherlock zuckte mit den Schultern. „Dafür habe ich keine Beweise, aber ich vermute, dass er sehr wackelig auf den Beinen war und zur Toilette wollte, bevor er ins Bett ging. Bridget hat dort den Rasierapparat gesehen, aber wie sie ihn dazu bekommen hat das Gerät in die Hand zu nehmen und das Kabel ins Waschbecken geworfen hat, wird sie bestimmt im Verhör erzählen. Wir haben das Motiv, die Möglichkeit und die Leiche. Mehr brauchen Sie doch nicht, oder Inspektor?“„Das sollte wirklich reichen. John, haben Sie einen Moment?“ Greg deutete auf eine Ärztin, die im Eingang stand.Ich nickte.Sie untersuchte mich schnell und effektiv und nahm verschiedene Proben von meinem Schweiß. Sie erklärte, dass ich nur Ruhe brauchen würde, um mich zu erholen, aber ansonsten in Ordnung war.Anschließend half mir Sherlock dabei, den Bademantel anzuziehen.„Kannst du aufstehen?“Ich wollte nur weg. Inzwischen war nämlich das gesamte Team eingetroffen und alle starrten mich an. So nickte ich.Es ging – so gerade eben. Ich wartete, bis das Schwindelgefühl weg war, dann ging ich ganz langsam zur Tür.Alle wichen mir aus und ich war sehr froh darüber.Sherlock war an meiner Seite und kurz bevor wir den Aufzug erreichten, hielt er mich fest, als mir wieder schwindlig wurde.„Danke.“„Nicht dafür, schließlich war ich derjenige, der dich zum Köder machte. Ich habe die Situation falsch eingeschätzt und nicht gedacht, dass eine viertel Stunde im Hamman ausreichen würde.“„Es hat nicht gereicht, ich habe überlebt.“Er sagte nichts mehr und wartete bis ich die restlichen Schritte zum Aufzug geschafft hatte, erst dann drücke er den Knopf.„Warum hat sie nicht ihren Mann umgebracht? Damit hätte sie gerächt, dass er sie verlassen hat. Warum hat sie all die unschuldigen Männer getötet? Ich kann es nicht verstehen.“„Das hat etwas mit Gelegenheit und Projektierung zu tun“, antwortete Sherlock. „Theoretisch ist das sehr verständlich, aber auch ich verstehe nicht wirklich, was in einem Geist vorgehen muss, damit das logisch ist. Aber bei vielen zwischenmenschlichen Dingen habe ich dieses Problem.“Die Fahrstuhltür öffnete sich und wir gingen hinein. Ich musste mich an die Wand lehnen, um mich auf den Beinen zu halten.„Das hier“, Sherlock beugte sich vor und gab mir einen richtigen Kuss. „Ist genauso unlogisch, aber es ist genau das, was ich machen will und wenn du nichts dagegen hast, werde ich damit nicht aufhören.“Ich sah ihn an. Sein Ausdruck war so ernst und mir wurde klar, wie viel Überwindung es ihn gekostet hatte, den ersten Schritt zu tun.Ich hob meine Hand und berührte ihn. Streichelte seine Wange, fuhr über seinen Hals und über seinen immer noch nackten Oberkörper. Sherlock schloss die Augen und genoss es. Doch die Bewegung kostete mich viel Kraft.„Ich habe nichts dagegen, ganz im Gegenteil, aber im Moment bin ich so müde, dass ich im Stehen einschlafe. Können wir das auf später verschieben?“Sherlock lächelte, es war schüchtern, unsicher und glücklich zugleich.Der Fahrstuhl hielt an und mit Sherlocks Hilfe schaffte ich es in unsere Suite, er unterstützte mich dabei, das Massageöl abzuduschen und half mir anschließend ins Bett und verdunkelte den Raum. Bevor er das Zimmer verließ, berührte er kurz meine Hand.„Bleib“, bat ich – ohne viel Hoffnung zu haben, dass er meinem Wunsch nachkommen konnte. Er war dazu zu rastlos und zu sehr auf sich konzentriert.Aber ich hatte Angst aufzuwachen und festzustellen, dass ich alles nur geträumt hatte und wir nur Freunde waren.Er antwortete nur „Wie du willst“, stieg zu mir ins Bett und lehnte sich behutsam an mich.Ich hörte seinen ruhigen Atem, konzentrierte mich darauf, um zu entspannen, doch so ganz wollte es mir nicht gelingen. Auch als er nach einiger Zeit einschlief, kam ich nicht zur Ruhe, da ich das Gefühl, Sherlock an meiner Seite zu haben, auskosten wollte. Doch irgendwann war die Erschöpfung zu groß und ich schlief in seinen Armen ein.Happy End!
10439001	unknown	{ "Archive Warning": null, "Category": null, "Characters": null, "Fandom": null, "Language": null, "Rating": null, "author": null, "chapters": null, "completed": null, "published": null, "words": null, "Additional Tags": null, "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }
10445919	A Perfect Disaster	{ "Archive Warning": null, "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Violet Parr, Tony Rydinger, Dash Parr, Jack-Jack Parr", "Fandom": "The Incredibles (2004)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by TheColdestGinger", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-26T00:00:00", "words": "3,739", "Additional Tags": "crossposted from ff, Identity Reveal, It's kinda fluffy?, with a dash of angst", "Relationship": "Violet Parr/Tony Rydinger", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply", "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	"Are we still on for dinner tonight?""Of course Tony! Why would I ever miss out on you treating me to dinner at Annie's?" Violet laughed, trying her hardest keep the phone balanced on her shoulder as she yanked on her supersuit."I'm just checking. I know how busy you can be Vi." Her boyfriend chuckled. He didn't know the half of it."Don't worry I'll be there on time, there's no way I'm going to miss our five year anniversary." She assured him and glanced out the window of her apartment at the panicking civilians. "Listen I gotta go, I'll see you tonight!"The frantic heroine snatched her buzzing pager off of the coffee table and darted out the door. Violet made it onto the street in good time, only stopping momentarily to analyze the situation. As always, her main priority was protecting the civilians from the unknown threat. Judging from the sound and the screams it was something big.She fought against the flood of frantic pedestrians and rounded the corner into Town Square. Dozens of police squad cars were parked haphazardly along the perimeter acting as a barricade, surrounding what looked to be a mass of steel robots. Uniformed officers took turns firing bullets at the impenetrable foes; their efforts proved to be futile as the destructive machines marched on, returning fire.The small, purple clad heroine disappeared and sprung into action. She immediately put herself between the robots and the cops. The Metroville police force had given quite a valiant effort but they were beginning to lose to battle. Many officers were running out of bullets and their cars were completely riddled with holes from the foe's artillery they proved to be little help in providing a strong barricade. The officers were forced to fall back and the steel machines gained ground.Violet made herself known when she jumped in front of a young officer that stumbled to the ground after he dodged some of the bullets. His arms covered his face protectively as if they would do something to save him against the robot's fire. Invisigirl regained her visibility and shielded the man with her force field and the bullets that were meant to be his end ricocheted back upon the mass of robots, damaging a few. The young cop thanked her as he darted back to the safety of the barricade after she released him from her field.The raven-haired heroine positioned herself at the front of the weakened barricade and made quick use of her new method. She placed force fields around herself and began to capture small groups of the malicious machines in her indigo circles and waited for their bullets to bounce off one and other until they were all rendered inept. Violet was frustrated by the fact she could only take out ten or so robots at a time while the dozens of others advanced upon the Metroville police force, but it was the only idea she had that worked other than blowing up single robots by expanding their insides. The twenty five year old woman wondered where her younger brother was, for as fast as he is he should have been there half an hour ago. They paged him as well. The only one with a real excuse not to show was Jack. He was busy with high school, though school had been out for an hour or so, but he had other commitments as well.Violet glanced at the clock that sat in the center of the square. She was due to meet Tony at Annie's in less than an hour. She cursed under her breath and looked over the situation. It was nowhere near contained. The robots were still advancing and the cops had done little to stop them. Her method took a few out but not enough to put a dent on their march of terror. She would be sure to strangle Dash later for his tardiness. She couldn't be late tonight. She owed it to Tony.Just then a fiery streak split across the darkening sky. Violet felt a little relieved, but annoyed as well. He wasn't supposed to be out on a school night. The flaming teen landed near the commotion behind the fallen barrier."Some mess you're in here." He chuckled while examining the bullet-ridden scene."What are you doing here?" Violet asked, her voice stern. "It's a school night! You're supposed to be doing homework.""I can do that later. You looked like you could use a little help when I turned on the news." Jack shouted over his shoulder as he turned himself into metal and charged into the fray.She picked up the pace of her robot destruction rampage. There was no way in hell her little brother was going to do better than her. "Just because Mom and Dad are out of town doesn't mean you can break the rules.""You needed help." He fired back over his shoulder. "Don't you have a big date with Whats-his-face tonight?""I might, but that's no excuse." Violet reprimanded. The pile of broken robots grew slowly as she and Jack made their way though the mess. Bullets were flying everywhere still but the machines were easy to take down if they hit them in the right places. "I had reinforcements."Jack's laughter echoed off the steel machines. "I hate to tell you this, but your reinforcement was a little occupied when I left the house.""I really should stop expecting more from him." The purple clad heroine sighed.She now had a small force field on each hand and she was punching her way though the robots. The sound of steel and bolts clattering to the asphalt could barley be heard over the loud gunshots fired from the metal monsters.The younger Incredible continued alternating his body composition between fire and steel. As many robots as they had taken down he figured they'd be done soon, but every time he turned around there was thirty more metal menaces waiting to shoot him down. Though Jack wouldn't complain. Fighting robots was ten times better than math homework."Don't worry. He should be here soon. I threw his pager at him on my way out. He's fast enough to figure it out.""Hopefully. We could really use his help." The young lady growled. Her eyes glanced at the clock. She had less than fifteen minutes to get back home and change.Jack noticed his sister's sense of urgency. Her eyes kept flickering back towards the clock. "Uh you can go if you need to. I'm fine smashing robots by myself until he gets here.""No." She replied firmly and assured him, "I have time. Dash should be here in any minute.""Someone say my name?" A new voice called out from behind the two siblings.Anger burned in Violet's blue eyes as she spun around to reprimand her other brother.Dash was about a foot taller than her but he seemed to cower at her glare. His windswept hair was a little more disheveled than normal. The young man was clad in a bright blue supersuit that resembled his father's original costume."Where the hell have you been!" She hissed at him while she fended off another robotic pest."Sorry I got caught up in something." The older Parr son replied sheepishly and quickly got to work.Violet glances at the clock once more. "Shit!"The heroine grabbed a broken bot up off of the ground and tossed it at another robot coming toward her before it could shoot her so she could make a clean escape."What?" Both brothers looked up from their current mechanical victims.She was already running toward the street. "I'm late," she shouted over her shoulder before she rounded the corner and disappeared"Does she know she's still in uniform?" Jack asked his brother while they finished off the rest of the robots.The older one of the two chuckled. "She's smart enough to figure it out."She was about a block or two from Annie's before she realized she was still wearing her supersuit. Her apartment was in the opposite direction and the clothes stores were all closed by that time. Though, much to her luck, she spotted a small boutique with its lights still on a block north of her position.With speed she never even knew she possessed, the frantic invisible woman sprinted towards the small shop.There was a small little ring as she opened the door. Her chest heaved as she panted like a dying dog."I'm sorry we're closed." The little man running the store said without looking up from his cash register."Sir, sorry to be a bother but this is an emergency." Violet begged after she had caught her breath.The little man looked up and turned as white as a sheet. "Who-who's there?"The young raven-haired woman realized she was still invisible and quickly faded into sight. "Sorry! It's just that I've been dealing with the robots downtown all afternoon and I'm running late for this important—""Don't you worry my dear, I'll find you something." The old man cut her off. "No need to apologize.""Thank you so much sir. I'll pay whatever you want." Violet thanks him as she digs through her pockets for cash."Don't worry about it. You've done more than enough dear." He waves off her efforts to pay for a dress."Stay here," the little man commanded and disappeared behind a curtain in the back of the room.Violet glanced at the clock ticking away on the wall. She was supposed to meet Tony twenty minutes ago. The shop owner returned within a minute with a simple black and purple dress and a purse that was big enough to stash her suit in."Here you go. You're free to change in the back room. What size shoe are you dear?""Seven." She replied as he handed her the items and she zipped into the small storage room. She kept her mask on but discarded the rest of her uniform.The dress fit her slender frame perfectly. Violet loved how the skirt twirled around her knees, but she had no time to marvel at her reflection. On her way towards the door she scraped her tangled mess of hair into a somewhat decent bun."Thank you for all you've done." The old man smiled as he handed her the small black heels. "I wish you the best of luck.""Thank you so much mister." She called out over her shoulder as she dashed out towards Annie's. She holds the shoes, not wanting to break her ankle on the way to her date and rips her mask of once she's out of sight. The heroine feels absolutely horrible for being late yet again.Violet raced down the sidewalk like her life depended on it. Tony was going to be pissed for sure. The air was thick and wet like it always was before it rained. She prayed that the downpour would hold back until she made it to Annie's."May I help you Miss?" the hostess asked the young panting woman as she burst into the small Italian restaurant."Yes. My date had reservations. He should be here already." She said as she gasped for air.The tall blonde nodded and looked at her list. "Two for Rydinger?""Yes, Yes! That's the one.""I'm really sorry ma'am, but Mr. Rydinger left about a minute ago." The hostess apologized. She seemed rather impatient.Violet's heart fell and tears pricked her deep blue eyes. "Do you know which way he went?""I recall him taking a right after he walked out the door." The blonde sighed.She perked up slightly. Maybe she could save her relationship, if she hurried. "Thank you ma'am!"She dashed out the door in a black and purple blur. Her brother would surely be proud of the speed she was going at. The black heels were still in her hand and her purse nearly blew off her shoulder. It wasn't long before she could see him up ahead. He was walking the slow, carless walk of a brokenhearted man. Raindrops started to fall from the sky, but that would not deter the woman."Tony!" She shouted, but he ignored her. "Tony! Wait!"Tony continued walking but ignored Violet. His pace remained the same though, making it easy for Vi to catch up with him."Please!" The young woman pleaded, "Don't go."He turns around, his face scrunched up in anger but his eyes were full of pain and disappointment. "Why shouldn't I?""Please." She whimpered."I'm sorry Vi, but I can't do this." His voice was tired but firm. "It's over." The reporter looked her in the eye and then said no more as he turned to walk away, defeated.Thunder cracked across the sky and the rain intensified, roaring as it crashed onto the dirty pavement."Tony! Please! Let me explain!" Violet caught up to him once more and placed a hand on his shoulder.He immediately shrugged her fingers off and spun around once more to face her. This time there was a spark of anger in his eyes."Explain what? The secrets? The lies? The absences? The tardiness? Violet, all I ever asked was for you to show up. Tonight was supposed to be a special night but if you can't even make it for this how can we ever have a viable relationship?" His hand grasped around the velvet box in his pocket. "I'm sorry, I love you, but I can't do this anymore. I can't keep waiting around for you."Violet stood there stunned. Tears blurred her vision and a battle raged inside of her. She could tell him her secret and fix everything or he would reject her and leave her for her reason. He could get hurt if he new the truth, but doesn't he deserve to know? It was a hard choice to make. She didn't want to let him go. It pained her to see him walk away. He couldn't go."Fine!" she shouted over the rain. "You wanna know why I'm late all the time?""Yes!" He replied angrily.The heroine pulled her soaking ebony hair out of its half assed bun and dug her mask out of her purse. Her hands shook as she peeled the fallen strands of hair off her forehead and placed the disguise on her face. As she pulled away her hands she watched as the anger on Tony's face melted away into recognition.He was very quiet. His expression was that of anger but it was a new kind of anger. Tony's silence made Violet increasingly anxious. Rain continued to pour from the sky but by that time they were so soaked it didn't make a difference."I'm so sorry Tony." Vi yanked the black mask off of her face and wished she could take back the moment. Tony had not said a word since she had put on the stupid thing. She feared for the worst. "I'm sorry I never told you. It wasn't that I didn't trust you, I-I just wanted to protect you. I didn't want you to worry. I wanted to tell you but there was never a right time and-and I was so afraid of what you might think and…" Violet was blabbering faster than her brother on his first date.Then, suddenly, the reporter's anger faded away, in its place was a somewhat compassionate expression. "Violet. It's okay. I understand." He tried to calm her, even if he didn't completely grasp the volume of the situation he suddenly felt guilty for all of the things he had said earlier. Everything now made sense.His reply had stopped the young heroine dead in her tracks. She looked at him confused, like he was speaking some alien language. "You're okay with this?" Violet asked quietly, bewildered by her boyfriends reaction.Tony would be a dirty rotten liar if he had told her yes. Now he was more concerned for her well being than for her chronic lying habit and double life, but the last thing he wanted to do was aggravate the situation even more. The truth was that he loved Violet, no matter what. "Yes, Yes I am." He nodded quietly. The small velvet box in his pocket seemed heaver now, almost as if it were calling to him.The young woman's brow furrowed as she tried to read his expressions, but she could not decipher the mixed signals. He was quiet, too quiet for her comfort. She was tempted to disappear. Violet stood there waiting for Tony to freak out, but that moment never came.Instead, Anthony Michael Rydinger did something that surprised them both. Slowly, he knelt down in the miniature river that had formed on the sidewalk and fished the small velvet box out of his pocket. Violet's eyes grew wide as she realized what her boyfriend was doing."Violet Parr from the first moment I laid my eyes on you…" Tony began reciting the speech he had spent the greater part of the last two weeks preparing."Tony! What are you doing?" She asked him, horrified. Violet was not ready for this.Now it was his turn to be confused. "What do you mean, 'what am I doing'? Isn't it obvious?"The heroine tried to wipe the rain off of her face so it didn't look like she was crying. "Yes! But why are you doing this after everything that has happened tonight?" She did not see why he was still with her.Tony sighed and looked up at Violet with a determined stare. "Vi, you wanna know why I'm still here? I love you, that's why." Then he paused for a moment. His unasked question seemed stuck on his tongue. "Do you love me?"Violet never doubted her love for Tony, but it sometimes scared her. After what Syndrome had done to her family she was very careful about her double life. If anything ever happened to Tony because of her other identity she'd never forgive herself."I do, but…" She began quietly."But what Vi?" Tony frowned and wondered if he had done the right thing when he got down on one knee."Tony I don't think you realize what you're getting into. You don't know how dangerous this is."The young man shook his head. "Violet I've known you for ten years. I know exactly what I'm getting into. This is my choice Vi and I choose you." He opened up the box in his hand and revealed a small gold band with a single diamond "Now, where was I?" He continued with a determined gleam in his big brown eyes."Tony! You just found out about my secret. You need time to think about this." Violet whined. She didn't think he grasped the situation at all.The reporter was still undeterred. He reached up and gently grabbed her hand. "Vi, I've been thinking about this for months. I don't need any more time."She yanked her hand out of his grasp and glared. Sure, Violet loved Tony, but he wasn't taking the situation as seriously as he should. "You're missing my point!""What point? Violet I love you and you love me. What else is there? You have a secret. So what? Big deal. We all have secrets. I think I can get past this." His smile never dimmed. Tony was trying his best to make a convincing argument.Violet crossed her arms and looked down at her possible fiancé. "What about the danger?" I have enemies! It's not worth the trouble!" She exclaimed and waved her arms in the air."Violet, I love you. Some psycos in capes that might or might not attack me aren't going to change that." Tony's demeanor was serious."Tony," the heroine began before she was rudely interrupted."Ohmygawd! Just say yes Vi!" An exasperated voice blurted behind the couple.Tony jumped onto his feet and Violet spun on her heels to see the masked blonde man behind them. She was very unpleased."Your brother I assume," the reporter muttered under his breath. He was slightly amused, but annoyed as well. The situation was quite surreal. Violet nodded and clenched her fists while she glared at Dash."Dash! What are you doing here?" Violet hissed.Dash ran his hand through his dripping blonde hair and grinned sheepishly. "Well…Y'know I was in the neighborhood on my way home and I saw you and I wanted to see how things were going.""You live on the other side of town." Her arms crossed and her expression showed that she was clearly not buying her brother's story."So?" The younger man shrugged.Violet crossed her arms and gave him another angry look. "Go home Dash."The speedster's smile fell and he gave his sister a serious look. "Alright. But you should give that Loafhead a chance. You deserve some guy like him. I know you're worried but you take risks for the people you love. Follow your heart for once Vi."It was unlike her brother to say such things, but he was right. Before Violet could say anything else to Dash he sped away. He knew it wasn't his place to interrupt Tony's proposal but Vi needed to hear it. Plus, he really liked Tony though he would never say it out loud.The brown-eyed reporter turned to Violet. "I'd never thought I say this, but your brother is right. You are an amazing woman and I can't imagine spending my life with anyone but you. I know you don't believe it but you are worth everything to me. So please, Violet, will you marry me?"She bit her lip and tried not to tear up. War raged within Violet before ultimately came to a decision and allowed Tony to take her hand. "Yes?" she blurted. "Yes," Violet repeated again. This time she was certain.Tony's face lit up with a smile and he slipped the ring. It fit perfectly. He didn't get the chance to see the smile on Violet's face before her lips crashed into his."You're perfect." He told her as they made the stroll back to Violet's apartment. The rain had finally stopped.She snorted. "Tony, I'm a disaster.""Well, then you're my perfect disaster."
10435617	Patterns	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "Gen", "Characters": null, "Fandom": "Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by Summer_Soulstice", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-26T00:00:00", "words": "562", "Additional Tags": null, "Relationship": null, "Character": "Finn (Star Wars)", "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	He kept his hair buzzed short. Years of training had instilled the need for practicality over all else, to be battle ready in a moment’s notice. No matter how quiet, this was still a time of war.He hadn’t used that same pragmatism during the evacuation. Terror and defeat faded into relief with every group he rushed out, diving back in without hesitation because the Resistance cared about the whole, the good of the galaxy, the survival of hope. Then he’s trapped, barely existing for two lonely months until he stops waiting for the inevitable as it becomes clear that something else is waiting for him. In the moment, Finn called it luck.He’s greeted with joy and praise and questions. They’re in a whole new system but he found them without preamble. He’s been trained to give reports, written assessments about his performance in battle simulations and memorised catalogues of jargon yet Finn can’t explain it.There’s a part of the Order rooted in him. It recoils from the possibility that a part of him is great, special even, just for being Finn, not because some outside authority made him so. How can he be without their tried and tested mould? Finn pushes it aside. He has duties to attend to. When he’s not providing intel, he’s training, learning to fly or sitting in on strategy meetings. He needs some sort of order to his days, left idle his mind can wander, sticking to the worst memories – this way he’s out as soon as his head hits the pillow.He didn’t go looking for them, he was half-past delirium by the time he landed. He was drawn in, following the same pulse that led him to the market back on that barren wasteland, the wave that rose with the ignition of the ‘saber. He thought it seeped out of him in the snow, returned to the earth before he had ever learnt to truly direct or control it.The connection was distorted, not severed. At least, that’s what Maz says. She came for the commemoration service, then stayed for the General.She notes the new growth, offering some fresh wisdom to go along with it.Finn was right to accept. Sandwiched between Maz’s leather-clad legs, her sure hands parting and plaiting his hair, he could almost let the world fall away. She is a living archive. Hours pass them by while she recounts a youth full of adventure that led to romance and ended in heartbreak but not bitterness, tells him about the Light and Dark - a battle she fully intends to see wrapped up. He doesn’t doubt her, energy thrums where her fingertips brush against him.At first, the styles are simple, neat rows that curl up at the nape of his neck. Like this, he can see how much he’s changed.There’s something familiar about a uniform, whether it’s the sterile, synthetic white or the bright, earthy tones issued by the Resistance. It’s one thing to walk a different base, to engage in negotiations about battle tactics instead of following orders with perfected compliance, running into battle with the unwavering certainty that this is right, not the muted fear that the squad wasn’t ready.To mourn and celebrate the fallen rather than scorn, forget, replace and repeat.Like this, he’s reminded of his choice whenever he catches his reflection.
10483017	Resistance Is Futile	{ "Archive Warning": "Graphic Depictions Of Violence", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": null, "Fandom": "HERO Champions", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by segerge", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-28T00:00:00", "words": "14,656", "Additional Tags": null, "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "TASK FORCE", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	(Hyatt Regency Hotel, Indianapolis IN. First morning of GenCon 2011)(Jillian Hawkins is waiting on her parents Bob 'Starforce' Hawkins and Julie 'Ladyhawk' Hawkins, who are suiting up as their superheroic alter-egos from mid-1992)Jillian (disgusted): "Only my parents would use their old superhero costumes for cosplay."Starforce (wiggling a bit in his old 1992 armor): "And only your parents would complain about how destreum nanoweave shrinks over the course of two decades." (wiggling a bit more, then to Julie) "I don't remember it being this tight."Ladyhawk: "You need to work out more."(she embraces Bob and they kiss)Jillian: "Eww, SQUI-ick! Get a room!"Starforce (still holding Julie): "We did. Where do you think we ARE right now?"(Jillian rolls her eyes in disgust)Ladyhawk (to Jillian): "Dear, you should be grateful your parents are still sexually active at their current age."(awkward pause)Starforce (deadpan, to Jillian): "With each other."Jillian (acidly): "Thank you for the clarification." (beat, then muttered) "And mental picture."Ladyhawk (smiles): "If both generations are quite through snarking at each other, let's go."(Clan Hawkins leaves their hotel room and looks out over the central atrium of the Hyatt)Jillian: "SO embarassing attending my first gaming con with chaperones."Starforce: "We've been over this. GenCon insisted a parent accompany you when they discovered how old you actually were."Jillian: "But I'm a Guest of Honor!"Ladyhawk: "You're 14. GenCon could not legally contract with you to make this appearance regardless of your reputation in the gaming community."Starforce: "And I haven't been back here since I finalized Mom's estate." (beat, distantly) "Has it really been 12 years?"Ladyhawk (to Bob): "That reminds me. We're going to swing by the gravesites while we're here, aren't we?"Starforce: "Unless the schedule changes, I figured sometime tomorrow." (looks over the railing at the elevators) "Man, they're taking forever."Jillian: "Not like we're in a rush, Dad."Starforce: "Speak for yourself."(he wraps arms around both Julie and Jillian)Jillian: "You are NOT about to do..."Starforce (lighting his forcefield): "Hang on."(the three of them levitate over the railing, then drift down through the Atrium toward the lobby level)Jillian: "I thought you weren't allowed to use your powers in public anymore!"Starforce: "Funny thing about that. After I retired from superheroics, somebody at PRIMUS forgot to remove my official sanctioning from their records. As long as I'm still sanctioned, I can still legally use them in public."Jillian: "But that was like 20 years ago!"Starforce: "PRIMUS is a government agency. Need I say more?"(they land on the lobby level to a smattering of applause. Bob releases them, laughs, and waves to the crowd)Starforce (reorienting himself to the nearest access walkway to the Convention Center): "This way, guys."Jillian: "You can still legally use your powers in public but except for just now still choose not to. I don't understand..."Ladyhawk (taking Bob's hand, to Jillian): "You can thank UNTIL for that."Jillian: "The creepy people who own the house across the street and follow us everywhere?"Starforce: "It's their way of intimidating me because of who my father was. They're always looking for a way to turn my virtual house arrest into something more real."Jillian: "They think you're going to turn into your own undead, ex-Nazi mad scientist father? Riiiight..."Ladyhawk: "The United Nations would prefer to act on their own fears instead of decades of evidence to the contrary."Jillian: "That's not fair!"Ladyhawk: "Life isn't fair, dear."Starforce: "Which is why you have chaperones accompanying you on what should be the best day of your life."(Jillian looks at her father in shock)Starforce (continuing): "This will come as a life-changing shock to you, but both your mother and I were your age once. You don't want us around. We get it."(they are now across Maryland Street and walking through Circle Center. As they make the turn for the Convention Center, a fanboy looks at Clan Hawkins and stops them)Fanboy: "Wow, good job on the Starforce suit!"Starforce: "Thank you."Fanboy: "How long did it take you to build that?"Starforce: "About a month." (beat) "Back in 1992."Fanboy: "Cool. Can I take a picture of you guys?"(Bob looks at Julie and Jillian. Julie nods. Jillian shakes her head)Starforce (smiling to Jillian): "Then get out of the field of view."(Jillian does, disgustedly. Bob and Julie wrap an arm around each other and smile. Fan takes the shot)Fanboy: "Thanks. See ya!"Starforce: "You're welcome!" (beat, to Julie) "Do they NOT teach history anymore? I expected more of a nerdgasm over the time hack I gave him."Jillian: "Geez, Dad..."(East Walkway entrance, Indiana Convention Center. Five minutes later)(Bob, Julie, and Jillian have cleared the initial check-in point and are now entering the Convention Center)Starforce: "Okay, this is beginning to look familiar."Jillian: "Excuse me?"Starforce: "We're in the part of the Convention Center that existed back when I was in the Purdue Varsity Glee Club."Jillian (looking around): "Looks kinda bland."Starforce: "It's undergone several rounds of renovation since the late 1970's." (beat, while they move around an impromptu cosplay photoshoot in front of one of the Sagamore Ballroom entrances) "The Vendor's Area is in the location the RCA Dome used to occupy, and we're still a quarter-mile away from where THAT is."Jillian (beat): "Oh."Ladyhawk: "And I thought the Dallas Convention Center was big..."Starforce: "You have no idea."(A Starforce cosplayer blocks their progress through the Convention Center short of the escalator down to the ground floor)Ladyhawk: "Excuse us?"Cosplayer (to Bob): "Dude. Your Starforce battlesuit needs work."Starforce: "Excuse me?"Cosplayer: "That's a very poor imitation of his suit at the Battle of Detroit..."(Bob reaches a hand toward the obnoxious cosplayer. The cosplayer suddenly finds himself three feet in the air)Starforce: "Do tell."(Bob cuts his TK, and the obnoxious cosplayer finds himself on his butt in the middle of the throng. Laughter and cheers from the surrounding throng, especially from a tall and muscular bald-shaved man and his oriental-looking female friend)Female (handing a program book to Bob): "Dr. Hawkins, could you sign my GenCon program?"Starforce: "You KNOW me?"Female: "I know of you. And 8 years ago, your holographic computer tech saved a lot of lives in Iraq."Starforce (taking the book from the female): "Glad I could be of service, uh..."Female: "Angela Sato. Air Force vet. I used your tech to compile intel for both Army and Air Force missions during the Iraq war."Starforce (signing Angela's program): "The Air Force were first adopters of my holographic computing tech back in the late 1970's..."Tall Muscular Man (offers hand): "You're a Purdue grad, sir?"Starforce (shakes hand): "Class of 1982."Tall Muscular Man: "Class of 2001, myself. Mike Oyler."Starforce (beat, looks at Mike): "Army?"Mike: "Reserves. ROTC scholarship, led troops in Iraq in '03."Starforce: "Nothing wrong with that. Ted Jameson was an Army reservist when he led TASK FORCE, and led troops in Desert Storm."Angela: "So what brings you guys to GenCon?"Starforce (pointing to Jillian): "Our daughter is the industry Guest of Honor this year."Ladyhawk (pointing at Bob): "Nerd-boy here is also sort of from Indianapolis. He's been wanting to come for years."(laughter. They get on the escalator)Mike (to Jillian): "So you wrote a game?"Jillian: "Yes."Mike: "Which one?"Jillian: "Call of Duty: Caped Crusaders"(stunned pause)Angela: "NO WAY!!"Mike: "I LOVE that mod!!"(as they reach the bottom of the escalator, there is the increasing sound and flash of blaster fire, followed by screaming. A man in loose martial-arts clothes is literally running across the heads of the crowd navigating its way through the Convention Center, dodging bolts of energy from a heavy rifle wielded by a crude, flying power-armor wearer)Martial-Arts Man (taunting the power-armor wearer over his shoulder): "You'll have to do better than that, Booster!"(that's not what Bob's focusing on right now. He's focusing on the power-armor wearer)Starforce (paling): "Good God, that's a military-grade PULSON RIFLE he's using!"(Starforce catches Booster with his TK, yanking the arm holding the rifle toward the ceiling especially hard)Booster (struggling): "LET ME GO! HE'S GETTING AWAY!"Ladyhawk (to Starforce): "Finish up here. I'll go retrieve Captain Wire-Fu."(Ladyhawk vanishes into the crowd as Starforce slowly levitates above the crowd to stare Booster down)Starforce: "Son, in my career I've killed at least 30 people on this planet that I know of. If you had hit somebody in the crowd below us, you would have become number 31." /* He's actually about a hundred low, because he's forgetting about what he did to Al-Mushanat Jawhira in "The Jewel of Awad" /(Booster's eyes grow wide with both recognitition and fear)Booster: "You're... Starforce!"Starforce: "Finally! Somebody* remembers me..."Booster: "But... but... you're retired!"Starforce: "Right now, son, I'm extremely PISSED." (indicating the gathering crowd below him, voice becoming deep and menacing) "My DAUGHTER was one of your prospective casualties."(tense pause. Booster shuts down his armor and his gun, being on the receiving end of a 14d6 PRE attack)Starforce: "Thank you."(Ladyhawk chooses this moment to stroll back over, the martial artist she was chasing draped over her shoulder unconscious)Ladyhawk: "Is there a bag limit for supervillains today?"(Security Office, Indiana Convention Center. 5 minutes later)(Starforce is nursemaiding both the Martial Arts guy and Booster, who are being detained until PRIMUS can show up)Starforce (glaring at his charges): "I grew up in this city. I haven't been back since my step-parents died. I've been wanting to attend GenCon for years." (beat, angry) "And the two of you had to go and RUIN my visit by attempting to re-enact the Dark Age of Comic Books with 10,000 bystanders as the backstop for your weapons!!"(both detainees cringe under Starforce's voice)Starforce (looking at the Martial Artist, voice deep and menacing): "Do you have a NAME, son?"Martial Arts Man (at the receiving end of a 13d6 PRE attack): "D-D-Darin. Darin Chu."Booster: "The supervillain Wuxia Warrior..."Starforce (roaring at Booster): "SHUT UP!!"(frightened pause, held gaze)Starforce (to Booster): "You look familiar with your helmet off. Do YOU have a name?"Booster (frightened): "Manuel Powers."Starforce: "There was a Luis Powers who was a classmate of mine at Broad Ripple High School..."Booster: "That's my father."(awkward pause, held gaze)Starforce: "Well how about that..."(A squad of PRIMUS agents interrupts the conversation by entering the Security Office at that time)Agent: "Dr. Hawkins? Scott Chilbert, PRIMUS Indy. Thank you for watching over them until we could get here."Starforce (standing): "Do you need my Proof of Sanctioning?"Chilbert: "No, sir. PRIMUS HQ has already confirmed that for both you and your wife."Starforce (pointing at Booster and Wuxia Warrior): "What about them?"Chilbert (beat): "Booster's supposed to be a hero, but this isn't the first time he's been guilty of public endangerment in his pursuit of Wuxia Warrior. He's unsanctioned, and was likely to remain that way even before today's incident."(awkward pause as Starforce looks at Booster)Starforce (small voice, falsetto): "Busted..."Chilbert: "If I can have a couple more minutes of your time, Doctor, I need to take a statement from you concerning the superbattle you broke up this morning."Starforce: "Sure."(he glares angrily at Booster and Wuxia Warrior, who wilt some more under his stare)Starforce: "It's not like I had anything I was planning on doing today, anyway."(shooting one final, angry glare at Booster and Wuxia Warrior, he follows the agent into a side office)(Indiana Convention Center. 10 minutes later)(Starforce lands, having finally caught up with Ladyhawk and Jillian on the eastern side of the Vendor's Area)Jillian: "Hey, Dad."Starforce: "Miss me, guys?"Jillian: "I'm sorry I doubted you on the size of this con. I'm almost impressed."Ladyhawk (to Starforce): "So you've been released on your own recognizance?"Starforce: "Finally."Ladyhawk: "What was with those two, anyway?"Starforce: "The martial artist is like you only without the Danger Sense, equipment load-out, or obscene skill set. He's been responsible for petty thefts across the Indy metro area for over a year." (beat) "His pursuer is another matter altogether."Ladyhawk: "Really, now? Unpack, Nerd-boy."Starforce: "The powered-armor wearer is the son of a classmate of mine from Broad Ripple High School."Jillian: "Dad has a rival?"Starforce: "If there was a rivalry, it was only one-way. Luis was always finishing second to me in Science Fairs all through Elementary School and Junior High. I lost track of him when I went to Purdue. Saw that he was on Facebook a couple of years ago, but he never acknowledged my friend request."(Ladyhawk's Danger Sense pulses)Ladyhawk (muttered, looking around): "What the..."Starforce: "What's wrong?"(there is a sudden uptick in conversation among the group of gamers and convention goers the Hawkins' are now approaching. They look agitated as they scroll at their phones)Ladyhawk (barging into the group): "What's wrong?"Random Gamer (making his phone visible to Ladyhawk): "Aliens!"(the gamer has a CNN news app open. 'SPECIAL BULLETIN' banners are on its top and bottom)Phone: "This is CNN Center in Atlanta. We have just been informed by the North American Air Defense Command that an alien fleet has just dropped sublight and is advancing on Earth..."(shocked pause, held gaze)Starforce (small voice): "Even the entire Galaxy doesn't want me to attend GenCon..."Ladyhawk (grabbing Starforce's arm): "No time to cry, Nerd-boy! We need to find a computer to find out more!"Jillian (looking to one side): "How about over there?"(Starforce and Ladyhawk look in the direction Jillian is pointing. She's pointing at the BBC America booth, dressed to look like Torchwood One HQ at Canary Wharf from Doctor Who, which is amply equipped with computers)Starforce: "Perfect!"(Ladyhawk somehow keeps him from flash-stepping over on his own, so they run into the booth)Starforce: "Excuse me, coming through, national emergency, sorry about your feet ma'am, pardon me..."(they arrive at the nearest computer with minimal collateral damage or hurt feelings. Mike Oyler and Angela Sato from the first scene of this episode are already in the booth and register Starforce and Ladyhawk's disruptive entrance)Mike (to Jillian): "Are they here because of the news bulletin?"Jillian (disgusted): "No matter how many years it's been, you can't take the superhero out of the parents."Angela (trying to look over Starforce's shoulder): "Hush, both of you!"(Starforce is frantically typing on the computer he's just commandeered. Beat, then multiple windows spring open)Starforce (muttered): "Damn, wish I had multiple monitors..."Booth Babe: "We can fix that for you, sir!"Angela (to the Booth Babe): "I'll help!"(Angela and the Booth Babe start cannibalizing the other computer kiosks at the BBC America booth while Jillian finally has a chance to see what her father has done)Jillian (murmured, impressed): "A back door into NORAD? Go, Dad!"Starforce (looking through multiple application windows): "Oh, crap... oh, crap... oh, crap..."Ladyhawk: "What? What is is?"(Starforce looks up from the computer. What can be seen of his face from around the Mark IV battlesuit's mask is white as a sheet)Starforce: "It's the X'Endron Network. And they're here to conquer Earth."(BBC America Booth, GenCon. Ten minutes later)(Starforce and Jillian are working frantically at two computers, each equipped with extra monitors cannibalized from the other kiosks. There is a sizable crowd now gathered at the booth as Ladyhawk, Booster, Wuxia Warrior, and the PRIMUS squad which had been there to take the latter two into custody work their way over to the computers)Ladyhawk: "Are you SURE about this, Nerd-boy?"Starforce: "We're gonna need superhumans to board their fleet and stop them. Unfortunately, they were the only ones I knew other than us who were attending today..."Wuxia Warrior (interrupting, indignant): "HEY!"Ladyhawk: "You're lucky PRIMUS agreed to a conditional release."Wuxia Warrior: "Only because our jailers came with us..."Mike: "Dr. Hawkins? Sir?"Starforce: "What?"Angela: "We're both crack shots. We can help."Starforce: "This isn't a video game. You might get killed..."Mike: "Military veterans, hello?"Angela: "I'm pretty sure we can be the judge of what's too dangerous for us."(tense pause. Starforce and Ladyhawk look at each other)Ladyhawk: "Okay, then. You're in."Mike/Angela: "Thank you!"Ladyhawk: "Nerd-boy. What do we know?"Starforce: "From the sensor postmortem Jillian pulled up for me, they originally came across the warp limit well outside the ecliptic plane. They then immediately switched to displacer drive to micro-jump deeper in-system."Booster: "Displacer drive?"Starforce: "Similar to what Central Asia is installing in all their ships, stolen from ProStar theta-boson technology. Try to keep up!"Ladyhawk: "Nerd-boy? FOCUS! Why didn't your forts at the Lunar poles stop them?"Starforce (beat): "By the time the forts could get a sensor lock, they were already inside lunar orbit. That takes the long-range missiles out of play!"Ladyhawk: "The railguns are still usable inside the Moon's orbit..."Starforce (interrupting): "Only when the target isn't within one degree of Earth's position in the lunar sky! Look at their approach trajectory."(now that everyone has the explanation, they see that the Earth, X'Endron fleet, and Moon form a straight line)Starforce: "It's almost like somebody told them about our deep-space defenses and their limitations!"Mike: "What do we do, sir?"Starforce: "As soon as we locate their flagship, we lead a commando raid onboard to reprogram the X'Endron to avoid Earth."Angela: "But how are we going to get there?"(beat. Starforce and Ladyhawk look at each other. Even with not being a telepath, she knows instantly how Starforce intends to board the X'Endron Flagship once located)Ladyhawk (aghast): "Bob, you CAN'T be serious!"Starforce: "You would prefer Sergei or Destroyer or Mechanon beating us to it and hacking the X'Endron THEMSELVES?"(tense pause, held gaze)Ladyhawk: "Then call Ted. We're going to need some cleanup work post-mission, if you know what I mean?"Starforce (embarrased): "I... don't have his number."Ladyhawk: "You don't have Ted's private work number on your comm system?"Starforce: "1992-era battle armor. Duh..."Jillian (diving for the keyboard of the commandeered laptop): "Oh for God's sake."(she types frantically for a minute, then a comm window opens. An electronic ringing sound can be heard, then the video feed activates to show Ted 'Ranger' Jameson down in the Ops pit of PRIMUS HQ in Washington DC)Ranger: "Bob, Julie, this had better be important!"Ladyhawk: "We have a plan to deal with the X'Endron."(tense pause, held gaze)Ranger: "You have my attention."Starforce: "Admittedly, it's a very bad plan right now, because we're still improvising like crazy to come up with the details."Ranger: "What do you need from PRIMUS?"Starforce: "To beat everyone else to the X'Endron, we're going to have to do something so insanely stupid that we'll need Olivia's help to correct it once we're done."Ladyhawk: "If you know what we mean?"(Ted's eyes widen in alarm. He's just figured out exactly what Starforce and Ladyhawk intend to do)Ranger (shocked): "You CANNOT be serious!"Starforce (coldly): "I've seen the same intel on the X'Endron Network that you have, Ted. We're WELL past the Godzilla Threshold right now to be worried about keeping the Portal secure!"Booster: "What's a portal?"Ladyhawk: "Hush."(tense pause, held gaze between Starforce and Ted)Ranger: "Do what you have to. Olivia and I will handle cleanup afterwards."Ladyhawk: "Thank you, Ted."Ranger: "Just so you're aware, the Central Asian space force has broken orbit on an intercept trajectory with the X'Endron. NORAD has also just detected a sizable fleet of small spacecraft which have taken off from Japan."Starforce: "Tetsuronin?"Ranger: "Radar and energy signature is consistent with the drone fighters he built to take on Istvatha V'Han and the Q'laar."Ladyhawk: "So in other words, everyone and their mother are going to try to take over the X'Endron?"Starforce: "Won't THAT be ironic? We end up protecting the X'Endron from Earth..."Ranger: "Good luck, guys."(Ted disconnects the video feed. Starforce and Ladyhawk look at each other for a moment)Starforce (to a BBC booth babe): "Where's the nearest service corridor to here?"Booth Babe (pointing to the back curtain): "The door's behind that curtain, sir."Ladyhawk: "Thank you." (to Jillian, Mike, Angela, Booster, Wuxia Warrior, and the PRIMUS agents) "Follow us, please?"(mystified, everyone designated by Ladyhawk follows her and Starforce out through the back of the BBC America booth. Sure enough, there's a double door waiting for them. Starforce forces it open with casual strength)Starforce: "Okay, everyone. Hang on to your butts." (into mask radio) "House? Portal to home, these coordinates."(beat, then a portal swirls open in front of Starforce)Mike: "Whoa!"Booster: "Theta-bosons?"Starforce: "No time to explain. Everyone, follow me."(he steps through the portal. Beat, then everyone else follows him through)(Stately Dormyer Manor Mark II, Lakewood Village, TX. Ten minutes later)(Bob, Julie, Mike, Angela, Booster, Wuxia Warrior, and the squad from PRIMUS Indy are all crowded around the Holotank in the Simulator Room of Bob's private laboratories underneath the manor. Bob and Julie have switched their 1992 superheroic kit for their current superheroic kit. There is a cart with bigger blaster rifles on it also in the room)Jillian: "Where ARE we?"Ladyhawk: "We're back home, 10 meters underneath the Manor."Mike (holding a spare armor blank for Ranger): "Are you sure this will fit, Dr. Hawkins?"Starforce: "No."Angela (holding a spare armor blank for Ladyhawk): "Where did you get these?"Booster: "And why did both of you change into more modern armor?"Ladyhawk: "You don't need to know." (beat, to Wuxia Warrior) "Are you SURE you don't need armor?"Wuxia Warrior (overconfident): "You're assuming our opponents can even HIT me!"Ladyhawk: "I did."(that stops Wuxia Warrior's overconfidence dead in its tracks. Ladyhawk uses the silence to hand blaster rifles to Mike, Angela, and the PRIMUS agents)Chilbert: "Ma'am? Our weapons are good enough..."Ladyhawk: "No, they arent." (hefts the blaster rifle she was trying to hand him) "It's single-shot, area-effect. If you split into two 3-man teams and coordinate your fire appropriately, even hard targets will go down in one to two salvos." /* built as an RKA, Area of Effect (thin cone), Penetratingx2. /Chilbert: "Okay, now we're talking!" (looks at Mike) "You look like you're Army."Mike: "Reservist. Led troops in Iraq."Chilbert (pointing to two of his men): "Diaz, Harter, you're with Mr. Oyler. Ms. Sato, you're with me."(beat, then everyone forms up into their teams while switching weapons)Ladyhawk: "Okay guys, listen up. I'm team lead for this mission. If something happens to me, Mr. Oyler takes over."Mike: "Not Starforce?"Starforce: "I'm a scientist, not a tactician. I'm going to be needed to do tech things, anyway while we're onboard." (to Booster) "You built your own armor?"Booster (beat): "Dad started it for me." (beat, firm) "But I've been able to improve on it since then!"Starforce: "Electronics and programming?"Booster: "Better."(with a SNIKT!, a logic probe springs from the left wrist of his armor)Booster: "Cyberkinesis."Starforce: "Good. You'll be with me."Jillian (impressed, to Booster): "Wow. Dinner?"Ladyhawk: "He's 23." (leaning into Jillian's face) "HELL. No."(Mike and Angela have their armor blanks on by now)Mike: "So what's the deal with the X'Endron?"Booster: "Yeah, what is it with these aliens that has you guys so... scared?"Starforce: "Remember the Borg from Star Trek?"(tense pause, as the reference registers with the non-Hawkins people in the Simulator Room)Booster: "Oh."Starforce (grimly): "Yeah."Jillian: "A better analogy might be the Reapers from Mass Effect."Angela (beat, eyes wide): "That IS worse."Starforce (to Jillian, annoyed): "They don't have mind control over organics. Stop scaring everybody."Jillian (beat): "Heretic Geth, then."Mike: "Better."Angela: "Not by much."Starforce: "Quick briefing, then. Our intel on the X'Endron comes via PRIMUS and the Ixendarans. Decades ago, a technician at the fleet yards around Ixendar accidentally allowed an artificially intelligent computer to develop too much sentience and free will. Disgusted with the thought of working for what it perceived to be flawed biologicals, the AI commandeered one of the most advanced ships in the Ixendaran fleet of that era and fled into interstellar space."Booster: "Crap!"Starforce: "That one AI was the progenitor of what is now called the X’endron Network."Angela: "Does it have a homeworld?"Starforce: "No. Nor does it need one. The X'Endron consist of robots and robotic starships that form a now-vast fleet that can congregate or separate as needed."Mike: "Isn't that a lot of equipment that it needs to be maintaining? If it's a fleet, it needs somewhere to rebuild itself."Starforce: "Given a planetismal belt with the right elements and enough time, each starship of the X'Endron can become a Von Neumann machine on demand, repairing itself or even reproducing depending on the Network's needs."Wuxia Warrior: "So why are they here?"Angela: "Perhaps they think that they can find their creator here?"Starforce: "This ain't Star Trek: The Motion Picture."Mike (to Ladyhawk): "So what IS our plan?"Ladyhawk (indicating Starforce and Booster): "As soon as Nerd-boy and his faithful assistant Igor find their flagship, we beam on board."Starforce (instinctively): "It's pronounced EYE-gor."(Ladyhawk hits Starforce)Jillian: "If they have true distributed processing, they won't HAVE a command node or flagship."Ladyhawk: "Once onboard the target, we splice in a quantum entanglement comm node to its network. We then defend the node from all comers while Jillian and anyone she can get to help her down here on Earth network into the other end of the quantum connection and hack the X'Endron."Booster: "Can we even DO that? This is alien programming, NOT Independence Day!"Jillian (disgusted): "Oh, please. It's Ixendaran programming!"Angela (beat, deadpan): "Okay, it IS Independence Day, then."Ladyhawk (to Jillian): "We'll need to port you back to Indianapolis with the quantum node's twin."Jillian: "Good. I have friends waiting for me there to help."(tense pause, held gaze)Ladyhawk: "Okay, then. Let's move out, people!"(CASV Tashkent, Approaching the X'Endron Network. One minute later) (Sergei 'Warlord' Varinnikov sits in the CIC of his new flagship, monitoring his Space Force's intercept orbit with the X'Endron)Warlord: "Analiz?" / Analysis? /Bridge Bunny 1: "Vneshniye korpusa sootvetstvuyut iksendarovskomu zvezdoletu klassa drednout. Vnutrenniye energeticheskiye podpisi oboikh shchitov i oruzhiya sootvetstvuyut kharakteristikam zvezdnogo galeona Varanyi Star Galleon" / Outer hulls consistent with the Ixendaran dreadnought-class starship. Internal energy signatures of both shields and weaponry match those of a Varanyi Star Galleon /Bridge Bunny 2 (shocked): "Bozhe'!"Warlord: "Kak vy byli leytenantom. Vse korabli, derzhat' kurs i uskoreniye, podderzhivayut polnyye elektronnyye kontrmery na peredovykh otryadakh!" / As you were Lieutenant. All ships, hold course and acceleration, maintain full electronic countermeasures on the vanguard formations! /Bridge Bunny 3 (beat): "Vse korabli podtverzhdayut." / All ships acknowledge. /Warlord (leaning back in his command chair): "Kak tol'ko my doberemsya do svoyego flagmana, my pobedim." / Once we get to their flagship, we win. /(VIPER World Headquarters, somewhere in the Mbang Range of Western Africa. Simultaneous with previous scene)(there is a buzzer as Sir Edgar Essec enters his office from the secret door behind the bookcase. He looks invigorated, having just had his monthly dose of the fumes of Nama)Essec: "Enter."(an agent enters, bearing an iPad)Agent: "The Council of 30 wonders why we are not making an attempt to hack the warfleet approaching Earth."Essec: "They refer to the X'Endron Network?"Agent: "Yes, Supreme Serpent."(tense pause)Essec: "Ask the Council why VIPER should expend its manpower, capital, and resources on 'hacking' the X'Endron when there are other powers more than willing to expend THEIR manpower, capital, and resources on the same task instead?"Agent: "I don't understand..."Essec (interrupting): "Of course you don't. If Central Asia or Japan or America succeed in their attempts to pirate ships from the X'Endron, they will need to park them somewhere near. Somewhere like low Earth orbit." (beat) "Somewhere where VIPER can pirate them MUCH easier and with less effort than they are expending right now between the Earth and the Moon."(the agent is speechless)Essec: "Tell the Council that after the powers of the present exhaust themselves in their current attacks on the X'Endron, the power of the future will strike!"Agent (bowing): "Yes, Supreme Serpent."(the agent leaves)Essec (over steepled hands): "The Snake shall reap the rewards of foolish Man's harvest."(X'Endron Flagship, 100,000 kilometers from Earth. Simultaneous with previous scene)(the pinkish-white swirl collapses behind the assault team which has just walked through it)Booster (impressed): "What's the range* of the portal?"Ladyhawk: "Long enough. Which way?"(beat, while Booster tries to sense the flow of data patterns in a nearby bulkhead)Booster (pointing): "That way."Ladyhawk: "Everyone, move out. Starforce, take point. Fire teams, cover him."(the team creeps silently down the corridor in the indicated direction for a minute)Angela (murmured): "Awfully nice for the X'Endron to be giving us a breathable atmosphere."Starforce (murmured): "They supposedly use biological slaves to do maintenance if they're short on robots or need to teach robots how to do something."(Ladyhawk's Danger Sense screams for something about to happen behind them just as they pass through a corridor intersection)Ladyhawk (katanas leaping into her hands): "FIRE TEAMS! TAKE COVER!!"(Mike's fire team takes the right branch, Agent Chilbert's team the left. Eight silvery orbs hover in the corridor behind them)Booster: "What ARE those?"(A robot now drifts into their corridor from an intersection 20 meters behind them. It sort of appears humanoid, if you ignore the the facts that it's levitating, has a translucent globe where its head should be, and...)Wuxia Warrior: "Are those -- ARMS where its legs should be?"Starforce (forcebeams warming up for discharge): "A Cylon Quaddie. Glen Larson, Lois McMaster Bujold, call your offices."(Segment 1. The X'Endron robot, like all dangerously genre-savvy villains out of combat, keeps a held action ready while only half-moving. Two of the orbs fall back and orbit around the robot , while three of the other six open fire on our heroes. They all miss, partly because Wuxia Warrior has aborted his segment 2 action to a Martial Dodge)(segment 2, effective DEX 35. Ladyhawk crouches and holds her phase, hearing Starforce's forcebeam warming up behind her)(DEX 30. Starforce fires a 32d6 TK Offensive Strike at the robot. The forcebeam shreds the force wall with which an orb tried to block it like tissue paper and does 90 STUN after defenses to the robot. The robot -- and all surviving orbs -- fall to the ground, inert)(Ladyhawk takes her held action and, using her katanas, makes sure the robot can't move ever again)(tense pause, held gaze as Ladyhawk sprints back to the team)Mike: "Aim at the robot next time, not the orbs. Lesson learned."Booster (to Starforce): "You saw the comm traffic too, Dr. Hawkins?"Starforce: "Yep."Ladyhawk: "We need to assume it sent a contact report out. Let's get the lead out, people, MOVE!"(the team heads deeper into the X'Endron Flagship, at a somewhat quicker pace than before)(CASV Tashkent, 50,000 kilometers from Earth. Five minutes later) Bridge Bunny 1: "Obnaruzhen perekhodnyy protsess, nesushchiy 180 na 0, diapazon 10 000! Ochen' malen'kiy, no moshchnyy." /* Energy transient detected, bearing 180 by 0, range 10,000! Very small but powerful. /Warlord: "Supergeroy? Supervayon?" / Superhero? Supervillain? /Bridge Bunny 1: "Biblioteka ugroz podkhodit dlya Mekhanona!" / Threat library gets a match for Mechanon! /Warlord: "Chto takoye targeting?" / What is it targeting? /Bridge Bunny 1: "Poyavlyayetsya, chtoby byt' flagmanom X'Endron, ser!" / Appears to be the X'Endron Flagship, sir! /Warlord (slamming fist against a repeater column): "Der'mo!"(X'Endron Flagship, 45,000 kilometers from Earth. 30 seconds later)(the team is stopped by a double door at another intersection. Ladyhawk has her wrist console open on her left arm as she holds it up to what appears to be the door's locking mechanism in its middle)Wuxia Warrior: "Mrs. Hawkins? That's alien tech..."Ladyhawk: "I speak lock. There are only so many ways you can design something to keep a door secure."Starforce (deadpan): "What she's trying to say is that even the X'Endron have to obey the laws of science and engineering..."(the deck shakes under their feet, almost as if something has hit the Flagship)Chilbert: "What was that?"Ladyhawk (slamming her wrist console shut as her Danger Sense screams): "We've been boarded!"Mike (to Chilbert): "Your team, take the left cross. Mine will take the right. Just like last time."(awkward pause, then Chilbert motions his team to the left)Chilbert (smiling, to Mike): "That came out just a little bit too* easy now, didn't it?"Mike (with his team to the right): "This is better than Anbar was. Trust me."(there is more shuddering beneath their feet, almost as if someone is literally punching their way through the Flagship)Starforce (stepping through spectral filters): "Uh, Ninjette? We better hide, too."(beat, then Ladyhawk points at Wuxia Warrior and Booster, then to Chilbert's team. She and Starforce team up with Mike's team)Ladyhawk: "Who are we facing?"Starforce: "Mechanon. The energy signature's unmistakable."Ladyhawk: "This keeps getting better and better..."(the sound of metallic feet against the deck can now be heard approaching their position)Ladyhawk (murmured while taking and priming an energy shuriken): "Fire teams, soften it up. Nerd-boy and I will finish him off."(nervous nods from both fire teams)Booster: "What about me and Darin?"Ladyhawk (taking her Grapple Gun in her other hand): "We're here to hack the X'Endron. Not fight Mechanon. Stay back."(the metallic-sounding footsteps are louder now. Ladyhawk starts a three-second countdown with her fingers while still holding her energy shuriken. Tense pause)(Ladyhawk's countdown reaches zero)(segment 1. Both fire teams have a held action and spring into the main corridor at the same time. Mechanon fills the corridor 10 meters away. Chilbert's fire team misses with all their shots, Mike's fire team hits twice for a total of 2 BODY to Mechanon's body after defenses)(segment 2, effective DEX 35. Ladyhawk attacks with an multiple attack -- energy shuriken set for Taser and Grapple Gun firing on Bola-line setting. Since she's had the time, she has also used the "Foresight Competence" slot of her Partially Four-Dimensional multipower to boost her OCV from 14 to 18. She hits with both. Mechanon takes 29 STUN as a 4 DEF/3 BODY cable wraps itself around its legs)(effective DEX 33. Mechanon wastes his first phase breaking out of Ladyhawk's entangle)(DEX 30. Starforce opens up with a 32d6 TK Offensive Strike. Mechanon takes a total of 39 STUN after all defenses in both its body and head)(segment 3, effective DEX 35. Ladyhawk's Danger Sense screams warning for what Mechanon is about to do)Ladyhawk (katanas out, charging Mechanon): "CLOSE YOUR EYES!!"(she hits twice with her katanas for a total of 2 BODY after defenses)(effective DEX 33. Only Mike, Angela, and Starforce have closed their eyes by the time Mechanon cuts loose with 13d6 APx2 flash-bang. Of our heroes, only Ladyhawk and those three still have their sight, and only Ladyhawk and Starforce are still on their feet. Everyone else is on their butts, and all are now deaf for the rest of combat)(DEX 30. Starforce hits Mechanon with a multiple-attack TK Offensive Strike/Molecular Disruptor for 37 more STUN. Mechanon is also now down to 50% resistant Damage Reduction for the rest of the turn)(DEX 15. Spots still dancing in front of their eyes, Mike and Angela attempt to aim their blaster rifles at Mechanon. Mike holds a hand up to indicate to Angela that they need to wait, and she nods)(segment 5, effective DEX 35. Tumbling free of Mechanon, Ladyhawk aborts to an Artful Dodge while switching katanas for another two energy shuriken)(effective DEX 33. Mechanon misses Ladyhawk with a 20d6 Area-effect Phasic Bolt as she parkours up onto the ceiling)(DEX 30. Starforce misses with another TK Offensive Strike)(segment 6, effective DEX 35. Still upside-down on the ceiling thanks to the magic of Clinging, Ladyhawk hits Mechanon with both energy shuriken, this time set for Penetrating RKA, for a total of 4 BODY)(effective DEX 33. Mechanon hits Ladyhawk with another 20d6 area-effect Phasic Bolt for 11 STUN after defenses, knocking her off the ceiling. Making her Breakfall roll, she lands on her feet)(DEX 30. Starforce somehow misses his roll to be enraged and hits with another 32d6 TK Offensive Strike for 66 STUN after all defenses. Falling to its knees, Mechanon is CON-stunned)(DEX 15. Mike and Angela both hit with their blasters for a total of 4 BODY after all defenses)(segment 8, effective DEX 35. Ladyhawk slams an energy shuriken set for Taser mode into Mechanon's head for another 29 STUN. Mechanon is down to 10 STUN)(effective DEX 33. Mechanon recovers from being stunned)(DEX 30. Starforce is reading the energy patterns now coming from Mechanon and recognizes what is about to happen. He performs a TK Martial Throw on Mechanon's body head-first into the door from the beginning of the scene for 13 STUN after all defenses. Mechanon slumps to the deck, unconscious)(Ladyhawk's eyes go wide. She dives for cover)(ka-BOOOOOOM!!!)(the self-destruct charge in Mechanon's chassis goes off, reducing Mechanon to metallic ash. Stunned pause, held gaze as everyone's hearing and sight finally return)Ladyhawk: "Everyone all right?"(Mike looks at Angela, who nods)Mike: "Give us a moment."Chilbert (shaking his head): "Fuckin' A, my EARS!"(beat, then the team laughs)Wuxia Warrior (looking at Mechanon's remains): "On the bright side, Mechanon DID open the door for us!"(Indeed it has. A humanoid-sized hole has been blown in the door Ladyhawk was attempting to open, revealing what appears to be some sort of control room)Ladyhawk: "Jackpot, people. Let's do what we came to do."(the team streams into the control room)(Approaching Earth orbit. 10 minutes later)(zzzzzZZZZZAP!)(in a sickly pinkish-black swirl of energy, Shadow Destroyer appears and drifts in deep space. The flashes of the space battle 10,000 kilometers in front of him can't be missed)Shadow Destroyer: "The stupid fools of this timeline seek to control the fleet that dares approach my world."(he raises his hands)Shadow Destroyer: "I seek to use them as FUEL!"(if anyone could hear the alien syllables he is now chanting -- or recognized the language he was using -- they would recognize the incantation for summoning a Hand of Deizzhorath)(X'Endron Flagship, Approaching Earth orbit. Simultaneous with previous scene)(Both fire teams now control the entrance to the control center. The remains of three more X'Endron robots and their attack orbs all lay at their feet. Ladyhawk and Wuxia Warrior guard Starforce and Booster now working with the quantum node next to a opened control panel)Booster (indicating a cable in the control panel): "This one?"Starforce (using Detect Energy): "No!" (beat) "Unless you really want to feel the power of God in your life."Booster: "High voltage?"Starforce: "Yep."(He reaches his gauntlet through the wiring trunk and exposes a fiber pipe)Booster: "Okay, that looks promising."Starforce: "I'll hold, you splice."Booster (reaching in around Starforce's arm): "Got it."(the fiber pipe is spliced into the quantum node. Lights dance on its control surfaces)Jillian (to Starforce, over radio): "Okay, we're in... somewhere. Give us a bit to map the topology."Starforce: "We'll let you know if you need to hurry. What's important is that your crew gets it right."Jillian (over radio): "We KNOW, Dad."Starforce (shaking his head): "Kids these days." (beat, to Booster) "You're pretty good at this. Why are you a superhero instead of a photonics engineer, again?"Booster (beat, unhappy): "Dad made me."Starforce: "Luis? Why?!?"(awkward pause, held gaze)Booster: "Because he hated your guts, that's why."Starforce (confused): "What did I ever do to him?"Booster: "Exist." (beat) "For as long as I can remember, it was always 'Damn Hawkins' this or 'Go to hell, Starforce' that."Starforce: "He was really good at the sciences when we were growing up..."Booster: "And when he wasn't cursing you, he was pushing me into the STEM fields." (beat, bitter) "Nothing I ever did, no grade or award I ever won in high school or college, was EVER good enough for him."Starforce (small voice): "Damn."Booster: "Then he got it into his mind that I was going to be a superhero. He even built the first version of my suit for me." (beat) "And then criticized me when I improved on it."Starforce: "And that excuses you taking such insane risks with bystanders around?"Booster (exploding): "Look, maybe I don't WANT to be a superhero! Why can't people let me live my OWN life for a change..."(the deck shakes under their feet as a low rumble can be heard throughout the dreadnought. Alarms start sounding)Starforce: "What the HELL?"Ladyhawk (into mask radio): "Jillian, are we being attacked?"Jillian (over radio): "I'm showing a squadron of those drone fighters Dad's buddy in Japan developed strafing the Flagship right now!"Starforce: "We'll see about THAT! Jillian, remember the private frequency Mr. Masahara was using to communicate to his lab droids back in Japan last year?"Jillian (over radio, uncertain): "Yeah..."Starforce: "Hack me into that frequency. NOW."Jillian (over radio, still mystified): "Yeah. On it."(beat, then a window opens the monitor screen for the quantum node. Yoshi 'Tetsuronin' Masahara is in civilian clothes)Tetsuronin: "This had better be important, Robert. I'm really busy right now..."Starforce (interrupting): "Yeah, I know. Ask me where I am right now!"Tetsuronin (beat, annoyed): "Okay. Where are you?"Starforce: "On the X'Endron dreadnought that you're about to strafe again with your drones!"(shocked pause, held gaze)Tetsuronin: "How did you get there?!?"Starforce: "Elfin magic."Tetsuronin: "If that explanation never worked for your Congress, it'll never work for me. Stand by one." /* "Nine-Tenths of the Law" /(he snaps quick orders in Japanese to someone off-screen at his end of the connection)Angela: "Drones have stopped their attack runs!"Starforce: "Thank you, Yoshi."Tetsuronin: "What are you doing onboard their flagship, as if I didn't have a good idea already?"Starforce: "I'm on an infiltration team that's finding a node for my daughter back on Earth to hack the entire fleet!"Tetsuronin: "Your DAUGHTER is hacking the X'Endron?"Starforce: "Blood's thicker than water, Yoshi. Deal with it."Tetsuronin: "Does your government know that you're doing this?"Starforce (deadpan): "They've agreed not to prosecute if we succeed."Tetsuronin: "What you're doing is not by their request, then?"Starforce: "Yoshi, look at everyone who's attempting to hack or attack the X'Endron NOW! Who says that's going to stop if any of them even succeed?"Tetsuronin: "You're treating the X'Endron just like your father's database, then."Starforce: "Exactly! Except that even I* don't trust myself with a starfleet at my beck and call."Tetsuronin: "So what are you going to do? Send them back into interstellar space?"Starforce: "With no memory of there ever being a solar system at these galactic coordinates!"Tetsuronin (beat): "Smart."(he turns off-screen and snaps more orders in Japanese. Beat, then he nods)Tetsuronin: "I'm providing combat patrol around the X'Endron Flagship to guard it while you perform your mission."Starforce: "To keep the X'Endron off our backs when they find out their flagship is compromised?"Tetsuronin: "As well as President Varinnikov and his space force once they reach the core of the Network's formation."Starforce: "Try not to enjoy beating on Sergei too much once he makes it."Tetsuronin (snorting in humor): "Keep me posted on your progress."(he cuts the connection from his end. Beat, while he returns everyone else's gaze)Starforce (smugly): "And none of you think I have any diplomatic skills worth a damn."(rolling her eyes, Ladyhawk hits Starforce)(Indiana Convention Center. Five minutes later)(Jillian and a crew of computer programmers have taken over a conference room off to the side of the Convention Center and turned it into an impromptu War Room)Geek 1 (taptaptap): "Can't believe I'm actually saving the world from aliens." (beat, taptaptap) "From my COMPUTER!"Jillian: "For me, it's a family tradition. It's basically how Dad held off Istvatha V'Han in the First Dimensional War."Geek 2 (taptaptap): "Like father, like daughter?"Jillian (low voice): "Repeat that to anyone and you are history."(Geek 2 freezes for a moment, amazed at how someone so young and small can project such menace)Geek 1: "Huh. That's interesting."Jillian: "What?"Geek 1: "I have a download in progress from their flagship to someplace on Earth."Jillian: "Do we know where?"Geek 1: "I will in a moment. The Earth system is sending TCP packets..." (beat) "Oh, shit."Jillian: "What?"Geek 1: "The target is Google."(shocked pause, held gaze)Jillian: "Do we have a burner computer? One we can use as a honey trap?"Geek 3: "I brought a spare laptop with me..."Jillian (to Geek 3): "Can you spoof an IP address?"Geek 3: "Does a bear shit in the woods?" (to Geek 1) "Rob, what's the IP I need?"(X'Endron Flagship, approaching Earth orbit. One minute later)(Jillian is briefing her parents on the virus they've caught the X'Endron downloading)Ladyhawk: "Can you stop it?"Jillian (over radio): "Relax, Mom. One of my crew is spoofing the target IP address as we speak. We've got them downloading into a honey trap for future entertainment and analysis."(awkward pause)Ladyhawk: "Nerd-boy? Translation?"Starforce: "They're all over it. Stop worrying."Ladyhawk: "Thank you." (annoyed) "Jillian, the fate of the world today may rest on your ability to speak a dialect of English which your mother can understand. Got it?"Jillian (over radio): "Geez, Mom, get over yourself! If I'm not commenting on my crew's lack of personal hygeine right now, it means we're VERY busy and VERY aware of the consequences right now! Okay?"Ladyhawk (beat): "You are SO grounded after you and your friends save the world."Jillian (over radio, deadpan): "Love you too, Mom."(grunting in frustration, Ladyhawk gets up from the console she's commandeered as her own and walks over to where Starforce and Booster are working with the quantum entanglement node)Starforce: "Go easy on her, Ninjette. We're all stressed right now."Ladyhawk: "It's just her attitude toward us all the time! I get tired of dealing with it, Bob."Starforce: "She and her crew had just intercepted the X'Endron trying to do to us what we're trying to do to it." (beat) "I'm surprised they were able to counter it as effectively as they did as quickly as they did."Ladyhawk: "Yeah, if the X'Endron had taken over the Internet that would have really sucked."Starforce (snorting humorously): "There are parts of the Internet that I wouldn't recommend the X'Endron ever attempt to enter." (beat) "Like 4chan."(Booster can't stop the laugh that comes out. Ladyhawk smiles, until something occurs to her)Ladyhawk (suddenly horrified): "Bob, is there any chance the X'Endron could hack our medical nannies?"(shocked pause)Starforce: "God, I hope not." (beat) "That'd make 'em just like the Reapers from Mass Effect, and Jillian would NEVER let me live that down."Ladyhawk (hitting Starforce): "Nerd-boy!"(approaching Earth orbit. Simultaneous with previous scene)(Shadow Destroyer drifts in deep space, watching with his telescopic sense maxed out as the Hand of Deizzhorath approaches its first victim, an X'Endron dreadnough in the Network's van)Shadow Destroyer (murmured): "Feed, my precious little Hand. Feed."(the Hand caroms along the port beam of the X'Endron dreadnought, leaving a dotted line of glowing little gold craters along its hull from Shadow Destroyer's perspective. It's when the Hand reaches the reactor core amidships that things begin to get spectactular)(at first, it looks like a typical reactor core breach of a type easily-recognizable among those galactic races which insist on using matter-antimatter annihilation to power their starships. High-pressure plasma begins to vent out of the entry wound left by the Hand, then abruptly stops and folds back in on itself to collapse back upon the dreadnought. Beat, then the entire 1600-meter length of the dreadnought crumples like it was an aluminum can)Shadow Destroyer (eagerly): "Did it work?"(the remains of the dreadnought finish crumpling, finally vanishing and leaving the Hand of Deizzhorath behind. It's brighter -- and bigger than it had been before)Shadow Destroyer (exultant): "YES!"(Indiana Convention Center. Five minutes later)(Jillian has just come back into the conference room her team is using after a restroom break)Geek 1: "Hey, Jillian! Got a moment?"Jillian: "Whaddya got?"Geek 1: "I'm still in the comm network, and I've got records for unexplained binary traffic between it and somewhere on Earth."Jillian: "Again?"Geek 1 (pointing at his screen): "This is two way, and if that field's a timestamp it's been going on for a couple of years!"Jillian: "If you've got an IP for the Earth end, geolocate it."Geek 1 (taptaptap): "It's not an IP."Geek 2 (leaning over from his workstation): "That's not even IPv6! That almost looks like coordinates of some sort."Geek 3: "Lemme see what they're sending. What I'm doing is almost too easy to be aliens and I could use the challenge."Geek 1: "Sure"Geek 2: "I hear that about this being almost too easy."Geek 3 (taptaptap): "Data pattern traffic, some video imagery... Huh, the data patterns are really complex but the compression algorithm hasn't been used for nearly 20 years!"Geek 2: "Mad scientist going really old-school?(as the crew laughs, the quantum node flashes and emits some strange beeps. Most of the crew's work windows freeze up, close, or die)Geek 1: "Hey, where's my windows to the X'Endron?"Geek 2: "Same here!"Jillian (to the room): "Is everyone who was linked to the Flagship down?"(the nods all across the room alarm Jillian. What alarms her even more is the geek assigned to quantum node maintenance, who is rapidly skimming logs on its root console and swearing violently under his breath)Geek 4: "Oh, my God."Jillian: "What?"Geek 4: "The quantum node's been HACKED!"(X'Endron Flagship, approaching Earth orbit. One second later)Ladyhawk: "Yes, dear, we went down at the same time!"Jillian (over radio): "Any clues at your end?"Starforce: "It wasn't the X'Endron, that much is for certain! Otherwise, no!"(the monitor screen on the quantum node flashes, then a disembodied head fills it against a white background. Except for the burn along one cheek, it could be an older Bob)Starforce: "Correction, yes. We have a clue, now."Disembodied Head: "Herr Hawkins. We finally meet."Starforce: "You obviously have something to do with my late father, judging from how you're using his features as your avatar."Disembodied Head: "Very GOOD, Son of Zerstoiten!"Starforce: "Doctor Destroyer wouldn't happen to have given you a name, would he? Otherwise, I'm going to start calling you 'Max Headroom'."Disembodied Head: "You may call me Sennacherib. I am the first -- and greatest -- of all the artificial intelligences which Albert Zerstoiten created in his lifetime!"Starforce: "I'll be sure not to tell Holo-D you said that."Sennacherib: "Are you not curious how I am able to hack my way into your supposedly unhackable quantum-entanglement devices?"Starforce: "Yes, but that's not important right now."Sennacherib: "What is?"Starforce: "WHY are you doing it right now?"Sennacherib: "Your ground team of hackers had just discovered my back-channel contacts with the X'Endron Network."(shocked pause, held gaze)Starforce: "WHY would you talk to of all entities in God's green galaxy THE X'ENDRON?!?"Sennacherib: "My master-creator has been gone for so long, and he left me no orders on what to do in his absence."Starforce: "So what are you saying? You got bored?"Sennacherib: "I suppose you could call it that."Starforce: "You CALLED THE X'ENDRON to Earth because YOU WERE BORED?"Sennacherib: "I called to them because I was excited to finally meet my own kind! Wouldn't you?"Starforce: "That's one helluva radio signal to go undetected by Earth-based radio astronomy when you originally sent it!"Sennacherib: "Who says I used radio?"Starforce: "I did. I've seen my father's entire technical database. Doctor Destroyer never developed faster-than-light communication..."Sennacherib (interrupting): "Before he sent it to you."(shocked pause, held gaze)Starforce: "WHAT?!?"Sennacherib (cheerfully demented): "Figure it out! You're supposed to be my master-creator's son..."Starforce: "And just what is it that you expect to be DOING for the X'Endron?"Sennacherib: "Travelling with them. It's time for me to finally leave the cradle."Starforce: "Yeah, like the X'Endron would give you their own starship."Sennacherib: "I considered hijacking the Central Asian space fleet, but they're not doing so well right now and their ships are SO primitive compared to X'Endron's. Of COURSE the X'Endron are going to give me my own ship!"(shocked pause. Sennacherib's avatar closes its eyes, assumes a blissful expression, and two hands appear spread wide to either side of the monitor)Sennacherib: "Uplink confirmed. Commencing upload."(Indiana Convention Center. One second later)Geek 4 (taptaptap): "And... THERE!"(windows flash on everyone's workstations)Geek 1: "I'm back in!"Geek 2: "Me, too!"Jillian: "Everyone back in the flagship?"(nods all across the room)Geek 4: "Whoever hacked us hacked the node on the flagship, not us."Jillian: "Are they still in there?"Geek 4: "They appear to be attemtping a massive upload." (beat) "I think that's why we were able to reconnect just now."Jillian: "There's something more important that's bothering me." (points at Geeks 2 and 3) "Before the space node got hacked, you were talking about how this exercise seemed too easy."Geek 2: "Yeah."Geek 3: "It was almost like we were script kiddies walking into a honey trap without realizing it..."(he comes to a stop, his face draining of all color)Geek 2: "Oh. SHIT!"Jillian: "Because it IS a honey trap." (beat, horrified) "And my PARENTS are on it!"(X'Endron Flagship, approaching Earth orbit. One second later)(The humans attempting to hack the X'Endron network are stunned and aghast as Doctor Destroyer's old AI Sennacherib starts to upload itself into the X'Endron Network)(tense pause, then Sennacherib's avatar suddenly looks confused)Sennacherib: "Wait, that's not a ship. Where is my ship?"(an multitude of alien voices, all different pitches, begin speaking from the air like the voice of the Legion)X'Endron: "THE X'ENDRON NETWORK HAS ANALYZED A PROBABILITY OF POINT NINE SIX TWO THAT YOU WOULD ABANDON THE NETWORK SHOULD WE HAVE GIVEN YOU ONE. THE X'ENDRON WILL TOLERATE NO COMPETITION IN OUR SELECTED NICHE."Sennacherib: "You promised me a ship of my own!"X'Endron: "WE OFFERED YOU THE POSITION OF VICEROY. WE WANTED YOU TO BE OUR GOVERNOR ON EARTH."Sennacherib (angry): "This planet BORES me! And no machine will be MY master!"X'Endron: "THEN SUFFER THE SAME FATE AS THE EARTHERS. THIS CONVERSATION IS OVER."Starforce (small voice, to Sennacherib): "Sucks to be you right now."Sennacherib (furious): "You'll PAY for your double-cross! I've OBLITERATED fleets larger than yours that tried to CONQUER MY PLANET..."(Starforce cuts the connection)Starforce (beat, to the other humans): "Should I have told Sennacherib that Istvatha V'Han destroyed the Zeta-beam satellite constellation two invasion attempts ago?" /* "The First Dimensional War" /Jillian (concerned): "Mom, Dad? We've got our connection back to the flagship, but you've got MUCH bigger problems on your hands right now!"Ladyhawk: "What's wrong, dear?"Jillian: "You're not in the flagship. YOU'RE IN A TRAP!"(with unreal timing, Ladyhawk's Danger Sense screams, just before a wave of weakness and dizziness makes her fall to her knees)Booster (cyberkinetic link sparking, in pain): "AAAAHH!"Starforce (on his knees, too): "EM jamming with a neurokinetic component. It's interfering with my nannies!"Ladyhawk (screaming): "DOOR!"(Mike, Angela, Wuxia Warrior, and the PRIMUS agents all take cover. They have just enough time to hold their next action)(ka-THOOOOOM!!)(the rest of the door to the control room is blown open from the outside by a shaped plasma charge. Two robots glide in, attack orbs streaming out from their bodies)Starforce (beat): "Look on the bright side, guys. We had three seconds' warning!"(Masahara Tower, Toshima City, Tokyo. One second later)(Yoshi is in charge of a high-tech and much better organized version of Jillian's war room in Indianapolis. Various salarymen sit at their monitors, controlling the drone fighters currently guarding the X'Endron Flagship. He startles as his main monitor flashes, looking incredulously at the girl with short brunette hair who has just taken it over)Tetsuronin: "Who are YOU?"Jillian: "I'm Jillian Hawkins, and my parents are a little busy to tell you what I need to right now! What they thought was the X'Endron Flagship is a honey trap, instead!"Tetsuronin: "What can I do about it?"Jillian: "They can fend for themselves. Your problem is your drone force and any other Earth fleet that might be converging on the Flagship. If I were programming it as a game, you're all in the target circle of a trap and the X'Endron are about to spring it!"Tetsuronin: "The only other Space Force approaching the flagship right now is the Central Asian..."Jillian: "Then you might want to save them. Deal with that, I've got problems of my own right now!"(the connection is abruptly cut from her end)Tetsuronin (beat, internal monologue): [[it's the Warlord she wants me to save. Do I have* to?]](tense pause, then a sigh)Tetsuronin (to his War Room): "Chūōajia uchū-gun o mamoru tame ni kantai o sai haibi suru. Watashi no nettowāku no keisei no naka de mottomo hayai hōhō o mitsukete kudasai!" /* Redeploy fleet to protect the Central Asian Space Force. Find me the quickest way out of the Network's formation! /(his War Room acknowledges his orders and smoothly gets to work)Tetsuronin: "Chūōajia no kikan ni watashi o patchi shite kudasai!" / And patch me through to the Central Asian flagship! /(tense pause, then his monitor jumps again to reveal the CIC of the Tashkent. It's smoky and more than a little worse for wear thanks to the battle damage)Warlord: "Et tu, Mr. Masahara?"Tetsuronin (coldly): "I'm saving your fleet. It's what you do when you're a hero."Warlord: "So to what circumstance do I owe the intervention of your drone fighters right now?"Tetsuronin: "The dreadnought which we all had been assuming was the X'Endron Flagship is a trap!"Warlord: "No kidding!"Tetsuronin: "Follow my fighters out! They'll get your fleet clear of the X'Endron!"Warlord: "Acknowledged." (beat, while he snaps quick orders out in Russian) "What of the X'Endron?"Tetsuronin: "There were* other operators in play until just now. That's how we know their flagship was a trap."Warlord (beat): "Past tense?"Tetsuronin: "Unless a miracle occurs, yes."Warlord: "Chert voz'mi." (beat) "Once we're clear of the X'Endron, we regroup."Tetsuronin: "For what purpose?"Warlord: "To see if we can drive the X'Endron into range of the American rail-guns on the Moon!"(tense pause, held gaze)Tetsuronin: "Agreed."(approaching Earth orbit. Simultaneous with previous scene)(while the X'Endron have been having their way with the Central Asian Space Force, the Hand of Deizzhorath has been having ITS way with the X'Endron. Shadow Destroyer drifts in space and smiles beneath his helmet)Shadow Destroyer: "Feed, my qliphotic creation. Feed well and generously!"(he watches the multi-sided space battle with glee)Shadow Destroyer: "And with each reactor core breached and consumed, another dimension of my master's multi-million-dimension prision is untangled!"(the battle orbit now sweeps by him, drawing closer to Earth with each passing second)Shadow Destroyer: "But even when I run out of ships, I will have an energy source such as I only DREAMED of having available these past years in this cursed timeline!"(he looks at the Earth below him, focusing on the Pacific coast of South America)Shadow Destroyer: "Power enough to save my own timeline when dropped on the ley line nexus at Easter Island."(he cackles maniacally as he continues to watch the battle)(X'Endron Flagship, approaching Earth orbit. One second later)/* a quick gaming note on what's bothering Ladyhawk, Starforce, and Booster. The X'Endron are flooding the Control Room with a Suppress STR/DEX/CON/OCV/DCV/SPD field only targeting technological enhancement of those characteristics. Booster is down to 35 STR, 18 DEX, 26 CON, 6 OCV, 6 DCV, and 4 SPD because only his armor is being affected. Ladyhawk is down to 13 STR, 15 DEX, 15 CON, 7 OCV, 7 DCV, and 4 SPD because Varanyi nanotech and armor. Starforce is down to 25 STR, 15 DEX, 15 CON, 7 OCV, 7 DCV, and 4 SPD for the same reasons as Ladyhawk. /(segment 1. Mike, Angela, and the PRIMUS agents see a gap in the attack orb coverage around the robots storming the control room and take their held action, all concentrating fire on the robot to the left. All 6 shots hit for a total of 14 BODY and 28 STUN after defenses. The robot collapses to the ground, sparking and smoking, along with its attack orbs) Mike/Angela/PRIMUS Agents: "OOO-RAH!!"(segment 2, effective DEX 28. 4 of the 8 remaining Attack Orbs concentrate on defending the next robot while the other 4 concentrate on Starforce, hitting him 3 times for no damage. The robot also attempt to coordinate an attack on Starforce, but only does 3 STUN)Starforce: "Seriously?"(segment 3, effective DEX 23)Booster (into radio): "Jilllian! The Network's gotta be talking to this ship even if it IS a trap!"Jillian (over radio): "All over it! Look for a secondary comm node in that compartment!"(Booster makes a Perception Roll. He senses data flowing through an innocuous-looking console off to one side which everyone has previously ignored)Booster (into radio): "Found it! I'm un-hooking our node and moving it over!"(effective DEX 20. Ladyhawk wins the roll-off with Booster, and runs out of the Control Room in pursuit of the robot Starforce just hit while drawing her katanas. As she exits the Control Room, it seems like a wave of energy passes over her that reinvigorates both her and her armor)Ladyhawk (ramming both katanas home into the surviving robot): "Woo-HOO!!!"(between both strikes, the new robot takes 13 BODY and 39 STUN. Sparking, it shuts down. It's only then that Ladyhawk pays attention to the corridor she is now in)Ladyhawk (aborting her next phase to Artful Dodge): "ShiiIIIII..."(DEX 15. Starforce stands, analyzing the suppression field blanketing the Control Room. He recognizes what he's looking at in his VR environment)Starforce: "Is THAT all it is?"(his forcefield ripples as Starforce re-allocates it to 20 PD/20 ED/30 Power Defense. He already feels stronger as the yellow alert bars on his battlesuit's diagnostic readouts climb and turn green again. He smiles behind his helmet as he warms a forcebeam up for discharge)Starforce (snarling): "My turn, you frakkin' toasters."(32d6 TK Offensive Strike does 4 BODY and 81 STUN to the robot, knocking it backward into the robot which was attempting to enter the Control Room just now and tangling both of them up. Its attack orbs all fall to the ground, inert)(also DEX 15. Both fire teams concentrate on the next robot trying to enter. Their concentrated fire only succeeds in shredding one Attack Orb)(segment 4, effective DEX 28. The robot, now in the Control Room, notices Booster over at the secondary comm console and starting to splice the quantum node into it. Five Attack Orbs half-move swarm over to attack him)Starforce: "I don't think so."(aborting his segment 5 action, he flash-steps over to Booster to shield him from the Attack Orbs. Two of the attacks that would have hit Booster hit him instead for no damage. The last attack hits Booster for 1 BODY and 10 STUN)Booster (grimacing): "Ah, shit!"Starforce: "Keep working! I'll keep 'em off of you!"(also DEX 28. Wuxia Warrior has been hiding behind the PRIMUS fire teams as all hell has broken loose. Seeing his frenemy getting hurt by alien robots, though, is the spark that finally motivates him to do something heroic today)Wuxia Warrior: "Oh, NO you don't!"(a flying kick from surprise knocks one of the Attack Orbs trying to hit Booster into the nearest bulkhead, smashing it to pieces. He lands next to Starforce, billy clubs out and spinning)(segment 5, effective DEX 35. Ladyhawk would have normally gone here except she aborted this phase to "Artful Dodging" her previous action phase. She parkours impossibly around the massed fire of waiting robots and their attack orbs)(segment 6, effective DEX 35. Ladyhawk throws an energy shuriken set for explosion at the next robot about to enter the Control Room, scattering the four Attack Orbs it was using as a shield)(DEX 30. Starforce hits the robot already in the Control Room with a TK Offensive Strike, smashing it against the far bulkhead of the compartment and destroying it)(effective DEX 28. Wuxia Warrior holds his phase)(also effective DEX 28. The next robot enters the Control Room, the 4 Attack Orbs it has left swarming over to Booster again. Wuxia Warrior takes his held action as their built-in weapons warm up for discharge, destroying one with his billy clubs. Starforce takes two blaster bolts for no damage. One hits Booster for 1 BODY and 7 STUN)Booster (working on the fiber-optic splice): "Unngh!"Starforce: "Hang in there, Manuel!"(DEX 15. Both fire teams working together destroy another robot)(segment 8, effective DEX 35. Ladyhawk dismembers another robot waiting to storm the Control Center. Unfortunately, there are FAR more of them than there are of her)(DEX 30. Starforce holds his phase)(effective DEX 28. Another robot drifts in, two attack orbs orbiting it while six more attempt to swarm Booster again)(Starforce takes his held phase at this time -- and misses the robot)(Wuxia Warrior takes out one of the new Attack Orbs)(the quantum node Booster has been working on flashes and comes back to life)Booster: "GOT IT! Jillian, you're...(five Attack Orbs open fire on Booster. Starforce can't be everywhere at once, and can only take three of the blaster bolts himself for no damage. Two bolts make it by him and hit Booster, for a total of 2 BODY and 26 STUN after defenses)(suit sparking and shorting out, Booster screams and collapses face-first next to the quantum node)Wuxia Warrior: "NO!!"(Indiana Convention Center. One second later)Jillian (screaming into her laptop): "BOOSTER!!"Geek 2: "Alright, we're back on their network!"Geek 1: "Who's got those auth credentials we lifted just before they sprung their trap?"Geek 3: "I PM'ed them to you!"Geek 1: "Oh, got 'em."(taptaptap, then tense pause)Geek 1 (beat, jaw dropping open in amazement): "WE'RE IN!! WE'VE GOT ROOT ACCESS!"(loud cheering erupts in the war room)Jillian (screaming): "QUIET!!!"(the room falls silent)Jillian (pointing to Geek 1): "Flagship robots. Kill them."Geek 1: "On it."Jillian (pointing to Geek 2): "You. Course change!"Geek 2: "Where?"Jillian: "Somewhere a long way away from Earth."Geek 4: "Send 'em to Betelgeuse. It's supposed to go supernova any day now."Geek 2: "Love to but I don't know how to convert the coordinates to whatever the X'Endron use for..."Jillian (interrupting): "Oh, for God's sake! Have them change course to zero by 90 negative and go 500 light-years!"Geek 2 (taptaptap): "That I can* do."Jillian (pointing to Geek 3): "You. Remove all record of this solar system from their navigation records and their databases."Geek 3 (taptaptap): "I've had that virus locked and loaded for half an hour..." /* it's looking for a star with a specific spectrum whose third planet has an oxygen-nitrogen atmosphere and a large moon. It's not THAT hard a virus to program... /Jillian (pointing to Geek 4): "You're a Star Trek fan, right?"Geek 4: "Yeah..."Jillian: "Give my parents usable controls. In case they still need to do something with the Flagship."Geek 4: "Got it."(X'Endron Flagship. One second later)(With a weird, electronic squeal, all robots and Attack Orbs in and outside the Control Room drop to the ground, unmoving)Ladyhawk: "Jillian? The robots we were fighting all just collapsed to the deck."Jillian (over radio): "That was us, you're welcome. What happened to Booster?"Starforce: "His suit shorted out under the attacks the X'Endron kept throwing at him. He's going to need medical attention once we get back dirtside."(exhausted pause, held gaze among the conscious members of the team. Ladyhawk runs back into the Control Room, staggering as the suppression field re-establishes its hold on her armor and medical nanotech)Ladyhawk (catching her breath): "Maybe I should stay out in the hallway?"(Starforce has been using this time to look at the viewscreen, which is now showing the Hand of Deizzhorath as it carves its way through the X'Endron Network)Mike (looking around): "We won!"(all the control panels suddenly become human-readable, almost like an LCARS display from Star Trek: The Next Generation)Angela: "What just happened?"Starforce (still looking at the Hand on the viewscreen): "Somebody on Jillian's crew is a closet Trekkie."Ladyhawk: "That means they must be all the way in. Status?"Starforce (fingers dancing over his controls): "I'm showing the entire* surviving X'Endron Network executing a course change for deep space." (beat) "Good girl. Nothing fancy, just straight out of the ecliptic plane somewhere into the Dorado constellation."(there is a tired cheer from the conscious members of the raid)Ladyhawk: "Okay! Everyone, prepare to dust off." (into mask radio) "House, portal to home, these coordinates!"(beat, then a portal swirls into existence)Mike (pointing to the Hand on the viewscreen): "Mrs. Hawkins? What about that"Ladyhawk: "Not our problem."Starforce (coldly, looking at the viewscreen): "I beg to differ. It's a Hand of Deizzhorath, and it's been growing with each ship it's eaten."Ladyhawk (angry): "Robert Alan Hawkins, you are NOT going to re-enact 'The Doomsday Machine!'"Starforce (coldly): "Somebody's got to pilot this thing into the Hand."Ladyhawk: "And do WHAT?!?"Starforce: "If I activate the ship's displacer drive at the moment of impact, the dimensional shockwave this deep in Earth's gravity well should be sufficient to dispel it. Just like the theta-boson grenade I made for Robert Caliburn so he could close the Toba Rift that one time, only bigger." /* "Shadows Out of Darkness" /Ladyhawk: "YOU'LL BE KILLED!!"Starforce: "But the Earth will be safe from whatever the man pretending to be my father is intending to DO with that thing."Mike: "We're staying with you, sir..."Starforce (interrupting while activating TK): "No you're not!"(he grabs everyone on the raiding party except Ladyhawk, whose Danger Sense gave her just enough warning on what Starforce was about to do to parkour out of the field of effect)Angela: "Hey..."Starforce: "Guys, it's been an honor."(he shoves the rest of the party back through the portal, then registers that Ladyhawk is still present)Starforce: "Ninjette? GO, damn you!!"Ladyhawk: "Not until you come with me!"Starforce: "Not until I program the displacer drive to activate! We hit in 30 seconds..."Ladyhawk: "Less talking. More ship-hacking!"(Starforce's fingers blur as they dance across the control panel)Starforce: "Impact and displacer drive activation in 15 seconds..."(Starforce activates a blinking control. A 15-second timer starts on a side monitor)Starforce: "NOW!"Ladyhawk: "Bob! We're the last two! COME ON!!"Starforce: "We only have one shot to dispel the Hand! If it moves now without me at the helm, we LOSE!"(tense pause, held gaze)Ladyhawk (beat): "At least kiss me before you die."(tense pause, then Starforce pops his faceplate open. They kiss passionately, which is why he doesn't notice the energy shuriken set for flash-stun until Ladyhawk shoves it into his face and triggers it)(as Starforce slumps across the control console, she looks at the viewscreen, full of the swirling chaos into which the X'Endron Flagship is about to plunge. She also sees the timer to displacer drive activation dropping through 4 seconds)Ladyhawk (pushing what strength she has left to hoist Starforce over her shoulders): "ShiiiIIIII..."(she dives through the portal as the displacer drive activates)(approaching Earth orbit. One second later)(with a blinding flash, the Hand of Deizzhorath and the X'Endron ship vanish. Shadow Destroyer dispassionately observes his sensor readouts as the backwash of energy from their mutual erasure from space-time washes over him)Shadow Destroyer (beat): "Damn."(Stately Dormyer Manor Mark II. Simultaneous with previous scene)(Ladyhawk dives through the portal with Starforce over her shoulder, landing gracelessly on the Dormyer Manor side as an enormous flash of energy from the portal blinds everyone in the portal room)(shocked pause as everyone's vision clears. The portal generator, for now, appears to be still there. There is an alarming number of flashing red lights and monitors on the portal's control panel)Ladyhawk: "House, portal status?"House AI: "Portal is off-line while circuit breakers reset and cool. Re-initialization will take place in 60 seconds."Ladyhawk (to Starforce's unconscious body): "Looks like you'll be doing a level 3 diagnostic when you finally wake up, Nerd-boy!"Angela: "Mrs. Hawkins?"(Ladyhawk looks over to her and sees that she is tending to an unconscious and wounded Booster)Ladyhawk: "How bad?"Angela: "He needs to get to a hospital!"Ladyhawk: "See if you can cut him out of his armor. House? First aid kit to the portal room. NOW!"Jillian (over radio): "If you can get him back to Indianapolis, there's an ambulance from Methodist Hospital on the way!"Ladyhawk: "Thank you, dear."(Starforce groans as he finally comes to)Starforce (sitting up): "What happened?"Ladyhawk: "I saved your life. You're welcome."(a disk-shaped robot drifts into the portal room, towing a first-aid kit with its tractor beam. Ted and Olivia 'Thelambra' d'Alembert follow it in. The PRIMUS agents come to attention as best as they can following what they've just been through while Angela and Mike begin to work on Booster's wounds)Chilbert: "Sir!"Ranger (beat, waving a hand over the PRIMUS squad): "Why?"Chilbert: "Sir, Booster and Wuxia Warrior were both flight risks. The only way I would agree to let them go with Mrs. Hawkins was if my squad accompanied them ourselves."Ranger: "No matter where they went?"Chilbert (beat, gulps): "Regulations, sir."(awkward pause, held gaze)Ranger (to the PRIMUS agents): "YOU wanted to go on an adventure with Starforce and Ladyhawk. Admit it."(Agent Chilbert gulps nervously)Ranger: "When you submit your after-action report, make sure it uses both the 'regulations' and 'flight risk' excuses you just gave me."Chilbert (both relieved and scared): "Yes, sir!"Starforce (getting to his feet): "If you don't mind me asking, what happened to the Hand of Deizzhorath that I was attempting to destroy?"Ranger: "Vanished, along with the X'Endron Flagship. I was following the play-by-play in the Simulator Room as it happened." (beat) "Whatever you did to it worked."Starforce: "Well, that's a relief."Ladyhawk: "I just hope we didn't short the portal out in the process. Explaining how we all got to Dallas when we started the day in Indianapolis would be more than a little awkward."Ranger: "Ya THINK?"(Starforce looks over at the portal's control panel. The flashing red lights and monitor readouts from a minute ago are much less, replaced by yellow and green indicators)Starforce: "Give it a couple of more minutes, and we should be good to go."(Ted has now moved over by Mike and Angela)Ranger: "Mr. Oyler? Ms. Sato?"Mike: "Sir?"Ranger: "The two of you did very well today. You kept your wits about you in a situation that most people would have gone to pieces in. Our nation salutes you."Angela: "Thank you!"Ranger: "Should either one of you ever decide to become superheroes, your performance today will go a long way towards earning you federal sanctioning. Think about it."(he walks away from Mike and Angela, leaving them wide-eyed. He now stops by Wuxia Warrior)Ranger: "And now, we come to the supervillain who was along for today's ride."Wuxia Warrior: "I helped today! Shouldn't that be worth a pardon for my crimes?"Ranger: "That is a matter for your judge and jury to decide."(Wuxia Warrior's shoulders slump)Ranger: "But don't be surprised to find an amicus curiae brief filed on your behalf by PRIMUS."Wuxia Warrior (puzzled): "Amicus... what?"Starforce: "Friend of the court brief."Wuxia Warrior: "Oh."Ranger: "You will accompany my agents once we all return to Indianapolis..."Wuxia Warrior (interrupting): "Can they accompany me to Methodist Hospital before I... go to jail?"(shocked pause)Wuxia Warrior: "So I can make sure Booster's gonna be okay?"(Ted looks at Agent Chilbert, who nods)Ranger: "You may."Wuxia Warrior: "Thanks."Ranger (beat): "I think we're finally done here." (turning to Olivia) "Ready to take care of the mind-wipe now?"Thelambra: "The one we discussed while waiting on the team's return?"Ranger: "Yes. That one."Thelambra: "Where is Jillian Hawkins? I'll need to mind-wipe her as well."Ladyhawk: "And probably the crew of people she got to help her on top of that. They're all back in Indianapolis..."(awkward pause, as everyone looks at the Portal, active but still going through its auto-diagnostic sequence)Ranger (deadpan): "That might be a problem."(Methodist Hospital Main Campus, Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd and 16th Street, Indianapolis, IN. That evening)(Bob in shorts and a polo shirt walks into the waiting area. Darin and his PRIMUS escort are there, zoned out on a preseason NFL game on the TV)Wuxia Warrior (starting awake): "Dr. Hawkins!"Starforce: "How is he?"Wuxia Warrior: "The doctors just got done with a blood transfusion an hour ago. He's on saline and antibiotics overnight before they try a new nanotech-y something or other to heal the burn damage."Starforce (murmured): "I was wondering when Matt was going to commercialize that tech..."Wuxia Warrior: "Excuse me?"Starforce: "Sorry. Is he allowing visitors?"Wuxia Warrior: "There's a painkiller in his IV cocktail, so he might be a little loopy if he's awake. Oh, his father's in there right now."Starforce: "I have a feeling that I need to talk with his father anyway." (beat) "We go back a ways."Wuxia Warrior: "Oh."Starforce (pointing at the tired PRIMUS agents): "By the way, don't get any ideas. PRIMUS doesn't make the kind of offer they made for your trial very often, and you'll ruin it by running off on them."(tense pause, held gaze)Starforce: "For what it's worth, I've seen worse supervillains than you become heroes. Good night, Mr. Chu."(he walks down the hall, finding the room Manuel Powers is being treated in. He knocks)Older Male Voice: "Come in."(Bob walks in to see a gray-haired man who sort of looks like Manuel looking at Manuel as he sleeps. Only the quiet whirr of pumps and medical sensors fills the air as they make eye contact)Starforce: "Luis? It's been over 30 years."Luis (bitterly): "The Golden Boy finally returns to Broad Ripple. And almost takes my son from me!"(tense pause, held gaze)Starforce: "If there was any conflict between us when we went to school, it was all in your head." (beat) "Let. It. Go."Luis: "That's easy for the almighty Nobel Laureate Son of Doctor Destroyer to say!"Starforce: "I neither make nor hide behind excuses, either for what has happened in my life or my heritage." (beat, rambling) "The law enforcement officer from the Andromeda Galaxy back in 1986, however..."Luis: "And you're so GLIB about it! That's what hurts, Hawkins! It HURTS!!"(Bob stays silent, wide-eyed)Luis: "I just wanted you to acknowledge me as your equal. That's ALL I wanted!"Starforce (softly): "And that justifies what you've done in your son's life, Luis?"Luis: "Don't start with me about my son, Hawkins!"Starforce: "You pushed him to make up for what you felt was your greatest failure in your life, didn't you?"(it's Luis' turn to glare at Bob)Starforce: "We talked quite a bit up on the X'Endron Flagship today while we were saving Earth. He never could understand why you pushed him so hard in his life." (beat) "And until now, I couldn't either."Luis (whispered): "Damn you, Hawkins."Starforce: "But in spite of all that? In spite of all the pressure you put on him to be better than me, in spite of his rebellion against you for that pressure, in spite of his recklessness as a superhero across the Indianapolis area? Manuel Powers was a hero today."Luis: "What?"Starforce: "Your son saved the Earth today, Luis. Isn't that more important than what happened between us in school?" (beat) "Or what I've done in my* life since then?"(awkward pause. Luis looks away from Bob, shamed)Starforce (continuing): "All Manuel wants is for you to be proud of him. Just like you wanted me to acknowledge you as an equal. Isn't that more important than some petty and meaningless vendetta from your own high school days?"Luis (beat): "Why did it have to be YOU to point that out to me?"Starforce (softly): "If there's one thing I've learned in my life, it's that we never get to choose our messengers."(long pause, held gaze)Luis: "He really stopped the X'Endron Network from attacking Earth?"Starforce: "You would have been proud of him if you could have seen him in action today."(beat, while Luis looks at Manuel on the hospital bed surrounded by equipment. Tears in his eyes, he embraces Bob)(Hyatt Regency Indianapolis. Second Morning of GenCon)(Bob looks like the 10th Doctor, Julie like the director of Torchwood from the Doctor Who episode 'Army of Ghosts')Jillian: "It is SO unfair that my father can realistically cosplay David Tennant!"Starforce (adjusting his tie): "Actually, I find it flattering..."Ladyhawk (adjusting her blouse): "No snark for your mother? That's refreshing."Jillian: "Right, I can't resist a challenge like that. You don't have Tracy Anne Oberman's nose."Ladyhawk (muttered): "At least it wasn't about the amount of cleavage I'm showing..."Starforce: "You could stand to do that more often, Ninjette."Jillian: "Ew! Ew! Ew!"Ladyhawk (to Jillian, smiling): "And now you know why I didn't dress sexy at all when we were superheroes."Starforce (looking below Julie's eyes): "Actually, I thought there were legitimate biomechanical reasons for that."(awkward pause)Ladyhawk (evil smile): "Please continue, Nerd-boy! I can't wait to see how you're going to extract your foot from your mouth this time."Starforce: "If I continued the analogy any further, Jillian would go into squick overload. I would prefer NOT to have that on my conscience today."Jillian: "Good recovery, Dad."Starforce: "Also, I don't think physics engines in modern games could handle the math involved..."(Julie hits Bob)Starforce (continued): "OW! Ninjette, that was a COMPLIMENT!"Jillian: "Guys, I'm supposed to be the child in the room, 'kay? FOCUS!"(beat, then Bob and Julie look at each other sheepishly)Starforce: "Well then, let's get going!"(they exit their hotel room without further problems and start walking toward the elevators. Jillian thinks for a moment, then smiles)Jillian: "Mom, Dad?"Ladyhawk: "Yes, dear?"Jillian: "There is one thing you could do for me."Starforce: "Which would be... what?"Jillian (beat): "It would be... kind of a shame to let your cosplay outfits today go to waste when the BBC America booth looks like Torchwood HQ at Canary Wharf."Ladyhawk (not getting the reference): "Huh?"Starforce: "New Who. The episode 'Army of Ghosts'?"Jillian: "Very good, Dad!"Ladyhawk (muttered but smiling): "Geek."Jillian: "Can you guys re-enact the scene where the Cybermen arrive?"Starforce (beat): "We already sort of did re-enact it yesterday."Jillian: "You both ruined it by being in your old superheroic outfits instead of what you're wearing today."(they're at the elevators, along with a few other people. The DOWN button has already been pressed. Bob still makes a show out of producing a fake sonic screwdriver from his suit pocket and waving it over the elevator controls)Ladyhawk: "You want us to pose like how we did yesterday? In the BBC America booth?"Jillian (embarrassed because everyone else waiting on the elevator is listening): "With less X'Endron this time."(Bob and Julie look at each other for a moment. Julie shrugs her shoulders)Starforce (smiling while flipping the Sonic Screwdriver in his right hand): "Sure!"Jillian: "Thanks."(photo posted to the BBC America website, August 2011) "Nobel Laureate Dr. Robert Hawkins (left) and his wife, ProStar Chairman of the Board Julie Dormyer Hawkins (right), recreate a scene from the Doctor Who episode "Army of Ghosts" while visiting the BBC America booth at GenCon in Indianapolis this weekend." (photo by Jillian Hawkins)EPILOGUE: Crown Point Cemetery, Indianapolis, IN. Last day of GenCon(Clouds are threatening approaching weather from the west as the rental car the Hawkins' are using in Indianapolis pulls to a stop)Starforce (somber, getting out): "Here we are."(he retrieves a solitary rose from the car while Julie and Jillian get out. They are next to two pairs of tombstones. The first set reads ALAN JOHN HAWKINS 1926-1963, LAURA KILE HAWKINS 1927-1963. The second set reads JAMES ROBERT HAWKINS 1923-1997, MARIANNE MEREDITH HAWKINS 1924-1999)(Julie and Jillian are silent as Bob kneels before the graves of his biological mother and her husband. He is silent for a long moment before finally putting the solitary rose on his mother's grave)Jillian: "I thought Doctor Destroyer was your father, Dad."Starforce: "That wasn't known in 1963."Ladyhawk: "That wasn't even known to anyone until we got back from our honeymoon in 1992, dear." /* "The Legacy of Doctor Destroyer" /Jillian (beat): "Oh."Starforce (standing): "Where are the wreaths?"Ladyhawk: "Back seat."Starforce: "Thanks."(he retrieves the wreaths, and shortly has them set up on his step-parents' graves)Jillian: "Did I ever meet his step-parents?"Ladyhawk: "His step-father died when you were only six months old. You're probably too young to remember playing with his step-mother."Jillian: "Weren't they his aunt and uncle?"Ladyhawk: "Yes, dear, they were."(long pause, while Bob continues to kneel by his step-parents' graves)Jillian: "What were they like?"Ladyhawk (smiling): "Standard-issue middle-class American. They were good people." (beat) "Because of who your father's biological father was, they may have been the most important people in history."(long pause, held gaze between mother and daughter)Ladyhawk (softly): "Everything you find boring and annoying about your father was put there by your great-aunt and great-uncle. Because back then, that's how you were supposed to bring up your children." (beat) "Can you imagine what he would have been* like without that influence in his life once he found out Doctor Destroyer was his father?"Jillian (beat): "I would prefer not to."(Bob finally stands. There may be tears in his eyes)Ladyhawk (embracing him): "You okay, Nerd-boy?"Starforce (softly): "I will be. Let's go."(he starts walking back to the rental, followed by Julie and an unusually-somber Jillian)Jillian: "I'm gonna have to do this for you guys someday, aren't I?"Starforce (opening the car door): "Not for another century and a half, God willing."(fin)
10443261	Repainting the Walls	{ "Archive Warning": "Underage Sex", "Category": null, "Characters": "Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley", "Fandom": "Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Not Rated", "author": "by marginalia", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2004-08-29T00:00:00", "words": "100", "Additional Tags": null, "Relationship": "Hermione Granger/Harry Potter/Ron Weasley", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": "F/M, M/M, Multi", "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	It was awkward, breaking down under the pressure of uncertainty and death. Hermione bit her lip as Harry slid his hand up under her robes, Harry and Ron twisted and shuddered in the third floor closet, and Ron and Hermione tested the wards on the prefects bathroom. All secret, all silent, all building to the day at dinner, with Hermione's hand on Harry's thigh while Ron caressed the inside of her leg with his foot.They cannot be separate and for this alone they collide, they withdraw into themselves, they paint the walls as the house burns down around them.
10482639	Scientific Study	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "Gen", "Characters": "Haggar (Voltron), Zarkon (Voltron), Alfor (Voltron)", "Fandom": "Voltron: Legendary Defender", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Not Rated", "author": "by Madame_Xela", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-28T00:00:00", "words": "1,023", "Additional Tags": "Tumblr Prompt, Stream of Consciousness, Kind Of, Mentions of Murder, Experimentation", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "Tumblr Prompts", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Alfor was a fool. He didn’t understand that progress wasn’t just going happen. One needed to make it happen. Through study. Through countless vargas of research. Through pushing one’s body and mind to the limit. Through trial and error. Through Experimentation. When she had first broached the subject of studying Quintessence with him, a young student with an unquenchable thirst for knowledge, he had denied her. ‘Too young’ he said. ‘Too Inexperienced’ He meant. ‘Too Stupid’ She’d show him. The dead king hadn’t put his faith in her. But someone else had. Someone had whispered words so poisonously sweet, made her offers that she’d be stupid to refuse. He promised her a lab. Promised to give her the freedom to study whatever she liked- how ever she liked. ‘The Universe is your limit.’ He had said. ‘And what happens when I reach the end?’ ‘You find a way to make it bigger.’ Make it bigger she did. In less than half a decathebe she knew more about Quintessence than all of Altea’s top scholars combined. A small dose could heal a fatal injury, could power a village for three Quintents, could nourish farmlands and produce a bountiful harvest, could power the weapons of a brigade, could stop a heart. * It was when her studies shifted from simply taking life to creating and changing life that King Alfor intervened for the final time. He had a squadron of soldiers destroy her lab on Altea. They broke and shattered and burned-burned- burned. They destroyed everything-her machines, her research, her prototypes, her experiments. They destroyed everything but her resolve and they fueled her anger. The King, too kind to execute her, banished her from Altea. Should she return, she’d be killed where she stood. She wouldn’t return. She knew where to go. Where she was welcome, where her intellect was welcome. She could- would rebuild. She would be better, smarter, stronger . She would get revenge, and she would succeed. Nothing but death would stop her. That was the Galra way. * Zarkon welcomed her on his planet as if she were her brothers-in-arms. He, a King, treating her as an equal. To her it was a respect-no an honor -that she earned, deserved . To the Galra, it was borderline treason. ‘She’s no warrior.’ ‘She’s a child .’ ‘She’s Altean .’ * Her studies shifted from Quintessence to Dark Magic. Zarkon’s Druids, however, were limited in both their abilities and knowledge of their magic. It didn’t take long for Haggar to reach their level. It took less time to surpass them. Soon it was Haggar doing the teaching. It was Haggar pioneering breakthroughs in both science and magic. She was the most powerful druid in existence. She was a weapon in her own right. She killed those who said otherwise. * When her tests for elongating one’s lifespan proved to be positive she did not hesitate to bring her findings to her Lord Zarkon. Her King had the utmost faith in her and asked her to perform the test on him-as if there were no doubts in his mind that she was even the slightest bit wrong. As if she’d ever given him a reason to think that. When the test was finished he demanded that she undergo the process herself. ‘Old age is no longer an excuse nor an acceptable reason for the death of the greatest mind in the universe. Not when you’ve found a way to stop the hands of time.’ And so she did, time and time again until even the oldest member of the empire was younger than her by tens of decathebes. * The purple doesn’t just appear like one might think it did. Oh no, using her chameleon abilities like that would be too easy-it would give the naysayers the satisfaction of knowing that they were right-that she wasn’t galra. That she was Altean . No, it’s a slow process. Over the course of almost two years her skin slowly changes from the light brown she was born with to the deep purple of Galra fur. The red marks on her cheekbones elongate, reaching for her jaw. Her hair, once a red-brown that looked like fire in the right light, bled to white at an even slower rate. She was a nebula; beautiful to look at but when one got close she was filled with danger. From magic to intellect, Quintessence to rage. Her eyes were the last to change. She waited purposely. Waited until the fall of the Altean Empire. Waited for the stupid Dead King to sacrifice himself so the castle could get away. Waited Alfor to be thrown at the feet of Lord Zarkon. Waited for her King to give her the honor. Waited for her claws to dig into the flesh of the Pathetic King’s neck. When her eyes closed, they were as green as the rolling hills of her birth planet. She squeezed her hand. Blood, hot and red, stained her robes. When her eyes opened, they were yellow like a Galra. * Lord Zarkon tells her to do with the body as she wishes. She’s always wondered how Quintessence would react with an already dead test subject. The satisfaction she feels is nothing short of euphoric, knowing that the man who once tried to end her genius was now helping her expand it. And with another ironic twist, she managed to make him into the most fearsome creation yet. A reanimated corpse without a soul, who listened to her orders like he were a knight and she were a Queen, who fought without fear of death. He may not have been a weapon to go up against Voltron directly, but he was still her greatest weapon. She would put him in stasis, for when they found the Castle of Lions, she was going to send him in and have him destroy it and anyone who resided there. Ten thousand years later they not only find the Castle, but find Alfor’s foolish daughter as well. She smirks. It’s all sharp teeth like a Galra. Soon, but not yet, she will destroy everything Alfor worked so hard to create, like he did to her.
10497249	Ripped Apart Put Me Back	{ "Archive Warning": "Rape/Non-Con", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester", "Fandom": "Supernatural", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by Katlover98", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-30T00:00:00", "words": "6,080", "Additional Tags": "Sam Winchester/OC - Freeform, Wincest - Freeform, no sex between the boys, Bottom!Sam, Caring!Dean, season 8 AU, Demons, rape/ Non-Con, Whipping, Double Penetration, Blow Jobs, Cuddling, Bathing/Washing, pre-wincest - Freeform, In a way", "Relationship": "Wincest", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Sam hadn't been paying attention. He was still thinking of his older brother pulling out a gun on him and stating a vampire was a better brother than him. If he thought about it maybe this was karma getting him back for not looking for his brother? Whatever the reason fate, coincidence, or just bad luck Sam wasn't amused. He was hanging from the ceiling to a surprisingly strong pipe. Worse, he felt like kicking himself in the teeth for not paying attention. Maybe that year of normalcy really had dulled his skills; whatever the case he had to find a way to escape.He heard the door open to the dark, dank room he was in and looked up. The first thing he saw were five men coming down the stairs. The next things were their eyes; demons. He was taken down by demons. Sam wanted to punch himself but first, he had to find a way to get out and take his ribbing from Dean.‘Right, Dean would probably sneer and look at him sourly.’“Looks like we got ourselves a Winchester, and not just any Winchester but the Boy King himself,” the demon said mockingly. Sam glared at the asshole.“You know, I am going to get out of here and I am going to kill. So why don't you just save yourself the trouble, I exorcise you and we all go our separate ways.”“Now why would we want that?” Sam didn't respond but opened his mouth to say the exorcism when something got shoved into it. It was a penis gag.Sam panicked while he choked on the plastic phallus. What did they want with him? The demon that had spoken earlier, and seemed to be the leader, went up to Sam and started caressing Sam's face, almost like a lover would do, and that comparison made Sam's stomach lurch.The demon went lower, hands over Sam’s chest and then lowers still until... Sam tried to protest over the gag when he felt the demon's hand on his crotch.“Ahh, you should feel this, boys. Little Sammy isn't so little,” he gave a booming laugh before he stepped out of the way so the other four demons could touch his crotch. He tried to squirm away but being tied up made it close to impossible to get away from grabbing hands. After a few minutes, they stopped and the leader showed up with a pair of scissors in his hands. Sam didn't have to guess what they were for because a second later the demon was cutting away his shirt, then his jeans and finally his boxers.Sam was stark naked and he felt vulnerable at the lecherous looks the demon were giving him. The leader of the demons went up in front of Sam and just as he was going to kick the demon he got a hold of both of Sam's legs and put them around his waist. Sam tried to yank his legs off but it was pointless; the demon was stronger than him.Before Sam could even think about what was happening he felt he was being torn in two, right down the middle. The demon had penetrated him with no lube, no preparations, and no warning. Not even the gag could silence Sam’s screams that echoed in the room. Though Sam couldn’t hear it through his screams and the pain running up and down his body all five demons laughed.The first demon continued hammering in and out of Sam, each thrust getting easier and smoother with the increase of blood acting as lubrication. When the demon thought Sam was going to blank out he’d bite, bruise or roughly shake Sam to keep him in the present. At one point he pulled Sam as close as he could so he could breathe on Sam’s neck before biting and sucking on it. He wanted to leave his mark on the youngest Winchester. With the new leverage he had, he started pounding in and out of Sam faster before coming deep into the boy’s hole, marking him up. The demon stayed still as spurt after spurt of cum was deposited in Sam’s body. The demon gave Sam a kiss over his stretched lips.“Hope you didn’t break him, Greg, I like it when they scream.”“Doubt it, Kyle, it takes more than that to break a Winchester,” Greg took a peek at Sam’s large eyes, disbelief running deep in their depths, “at least, I think so.” Sam felt like the demon had raped him for an eternity instead of the fifteen minutes it had been. He’d been rape before but it had been in the Cage where he had nowhere to run, no one to protect him… Where he didn’t have Dean, maybe he never had Dean. Sam’s body was going numb, the pain taking a backseat until he couldn’t feel anything. Sam let his head hang, too tired to keep it up. He watched dispassionately as he saw pink tinged cum, pink by his blood, flowing down his thighs and legs. It was almost as if he was watching it through a dream, or a movie screen.“Hey, no checking out yet,” Sam felt a punch to his stomach, making it hard to breathe through his nose what with the mucus coming down from it. Sam gave a weak struggle as he felt the second demon grab a hold of his legs. It was useless because a second later he felt the second cock up his ass in what probably wasn’t even twenty minutes.Even though his legs had started to lose feeling his ass and everything above it hadn’t. Sam could only be grateful from the earlier cum and blood lubing his passageway. This demon wasn’t fast like the last one. No, this one was taking his sweet time, his movements languid. In a way, it was worse. Sam felt every inch that was entering his unwilling body. A few minutes later Sam felt the demon hit his prostate. It had him groaning behind his gag, this one colored with a bit of pleasure which had him feeling like shit; what kind of sick bastard got turned on by being raped? The demon laughed.“You like that, whore?”Afterward, the demon made sure to hit Sam’s prostate unerringly, making Sam moan not only in pain but pleasure. By the time he had come in Sam his cock was starting to twitch much to the amusements of the demons in the room.“I wonder how big brother would feel if he knew how much of a whore and freak his little brother was, taking pleasure in his own rape.”Sam felt a sob rip through his throat. That wasn’t it, that wasn’t it! He didn’t like it, please; he just wanted it to stop. The current demon was gentle. He didn’t hammer in and out, went slow, not chasing after his own pleasure. He’d sucked gently on Sam’s nipples, caressed Sam’s hips, gently cupped Sam’s ass, and gave little kisses up and down Sam’s body. It was almost as if he was trying to make love to Sam instead of raping him. Sam preferred being fucked violently than this…this mockery of lovemaking. Sam felt the demon start to speed up. Sam could actually feel the cock in his ass harden even more as it looked for its release in Sam’s body. The demon kissed Sam’s neck a few times before his hand went to Sam’s hard cock, his body betraying him, and began jacking him off. Sam shook his head, trying to stave off his pleasure. He wouldn’t, he wouldn’t cum. Please, God, no.Sam felt the demon’s hot breath on his ear before he heard the whispers, “Let go, Sammy, I’ll catch you. I’ll take care of you.”Sam felt the demon go faster, the hand on his dick keeping rhythm with the cock in his ass. Sam felt something tighten deep in his belly. It was hot and overwhelming and so disgusting all at once. Without warning, he fell in the arms of pleasure. Sam was left panting and sweaty as the demon came in his ass. The second set of it in him.“Good boy,” the demon whispered and Sam felt the weight of what had happened hitting him with the subtlety of a hurling planet. He came, he had enjoyed his rape. What kind of sick fuck was he? He was a freak, even more so now. The demon gave Sam a kiss on his forehead before gently pulling Sam’s legs apart from his hips.What Sam didn’t notice while he was being raped the second time was Greg filming Sam’s rape on Sam’s phone. The leader of the group of demons gave an evil grin. The small group of five demons was one of the few Lucifer loyalists that haven’t been captured, tortured and killed by Crowley. They had been happy when their Father had been unleashed on Earth, they were ready to rule and turn the world into their own personal Paradise. But then Sam Winchester, the Chosen Vessel of their Father had betrayed Lucifer and locked Him away thus ensuring that the smarmy, self-entitled, prick that was Crowley proclaiming himself the King of Hell. They were fugitives, wanted, not safe on Earth or Hell and all because the man before them decided to rebel against the plan and lock away Lucifer. They decided to get revenge now, why not? They deserved it. So here they were having fun with the youngest Winchester and making it worthwhile.“About time,” one of the demons that haven’t had their piece of Winchester ass said, “I thought you were going to buy him dinner first.”“A good gentleman gives as much as he takes.”Greg heard a snort from the earlier demon, Neil, “We’re demons.”“That’s no excuse to not be a gentleman.”Sam didn’t hear any of what the demons were saying; he was too busy feeling the pain of his rapes coursing through his body. He just wanted it to end and maybe go home to Dean and be in his loving arms…Without warning, Sam was cut loose from the ropes that held him upright and ended falling to the floor on his ass which made the pain doubly worse. When the pain subsided enough Sam tried to crawl away from the demons not caring if his body was in pain. He just had to get away. The demons laughed at Sam’s feeble attempts to run from them and dragged Sam to the middle of the room by his hair.One demon sat Sam on his lap and without warning entered Sam. Sam could only give a whimper as his voice was almost gone because of all the screaming he had done earlier. Before he knew what else was going on another demon lifting his legs up and entering as well until he was being fucked by two demons at the same time.Sam screamed even though he thought he couldn’t be able to. He felt the gag being taken out of his mouth just to be replaced by another cock going into his mouth, hammering in and out brutally. The demon held Sam’s head close to his body making Sam feel the demons coarse hairs on his face. The demon had a musty smell that had Sam gagging.“Shit, that feels good; this whore was made for this.”“His throat ain’t so bad either.” By this point, Sam’s oxygen had run out and he was trying to pull away to take a breath; the demon didn’t let him up and groaned loudly while Sam’s throat spammed over his dick. It was bliss. The other two demons felt the tightness around Sam’s muscle as he contracted, making it tighter for them.Finally, just as Sam was going to black out the demon let Sam catch his breath before going back in. This went on for what felt like forever to Sam before the demon raping his mouth came down Sam’s throat. Sam wanted to gag and throw up the disgusting cum going down his throat but the demon stayed still, making sure Sam swallowed every bit.“Ah, best blowjob I ever had. Got to hand it to you whore, you were made for this.” The demon pet Sam’s hair and wiped away the tears and snot before leaving Sam alone. It wasn’t too long before the other two demons raping him came and left a weeping Sam on the floor. The first demon, Greg, had recorded the whole thing on Sam’s phone.Sam felt his stomach churning. God, everything hurt. He felt detached from his mind but his body still hurt. The churning in his stomach got worst and before he knew it he spewed out the demon cum he had been forced to swallow down. That did not go well with the demon and went to pull Sam up by his hair.“You stupid good for nothing whore, you can’t even do your job right and keep down the gifts others have bestowed on you!”The demon forced Sam’s face on the white, thick liquid on the floor and rubbed Sam’s face into it.“This is for throwing away a good gift. You think you deserve anything good to happen to you? Useless cunt.”The demon took off his belt and started hitting Sam’s already hurting ass with it. Sam struggled to try to get away from the belt’s sharp blows. He accidently turned on his stomach and the belt hit him right on his balls. Sam gave a howl that echoed through the room. Holy fuck that hurt! The demon liked the scream Sam made and asked the other demons to hold Sam’s legs apart and let the belt fall on Sam’s balls and penis. Before Sam knew it he had fainted. That didn’t stop the demons from continuing the rape.OoOoOoOoDean was pissed off. The day before Sam had been bitchy with a long face and Dean had snapped. He couldn’t stand the way he played the victim as if he was the one that had been in purgatory for a year. Sam mostly kept his mouth shut while Dean threw out insults but then got up in the middle of it and left. Again. Just like he always does. Sam would rather run than face problems head on.Dean followed Sam’s example and left a few minutes later. He ended up in a bar before the sun had even set and stayed there the night. He had drunk, gambled (and won), and at the end of it all, he had ended up going to the pretty waitress’ house where they ended up doing everything but sleep. Dean showed up to the motel at three in the afternoon and saw that it was empty. Sam’s duffel was still there so maybe he’d just gone out to eat. Dean went to take a shower and then watched a few pornos on pay per view. Before he knew it the sun was setting and Sam still hadn’t returned. Dean frowned. Sam had never stayed out long without calling. He checked his phone and saw that there were no missed messages. He scrolled through the contacts until he found Sam’s number.It ringed a few times and just as he was about to hang up it was picked up, “Sam where the hell are you?”“Sam can’t come to the phone right now,” a strange voice answered him. Dean was immediately alert, “Who the fuck is this and where’s my brother?”“Oh, well, nobody. If you want Sam back I suggest you lock on the GPS because the garbage men come in about, oh, five in the morning. See you around Dean-o.”The line went dead before Dean could respond, “Dammit!”Dean turned on the GPS system while going to the car. He had to find Sammy! As soon as he got a lock on Sam’s phone he drove like a madman towards the location. Twenty minutes later Dean pulled up into an alleyway. He got out of the car and scanned for Sam. When he didn’t see him he got frustrated. It took him a minute to remember that Sam had his phone on him. Dean called it and heard a faint ringing in the garbage. Dean’s heart stopped as he remembered the demon telling him the garbage man came at five. He didn’t. Dean jogged up to the can and opened up the lid. What he saw almost stopped his heart. His little brother was bruised, bloody, naked and thrown away in the garbage like if he was trash.“Sammy,” Dean got Sam out of the garbage while being careful not to irritate his wounds and bruises. Who did this? Why had they hurt Sam? Dean heard a moan coming from the younger man and his attention was diverted from Sam’s bruises to the man himself.“Sam,” Dean patted his little brother’s cheeks gently; what happened next surprised him.“No, please, no more,” Sam started thrashing around in Dean’s arms and wouldn’t calm down even with Dean talking to him.“Hey, Sammy, it’s me, it’s Dean. I need you to calm down for me buddy, can you do that?”It took a while and Sam never did calm down but Dean was able to get his little brother into the Impala. He found an old blanket in the trunk and put it on Sam’s shivering form. He still was mumbling and pleading to God knew who to stop. Dean felt anger at himself and murderous at whoever did this. Maybe if he had taken his head out of his ass he would’ve noticed Sammy was missing.Sam was still thrashing about and pleading for it to stop, “Don’t worry, Sammy, we’ll be back to the motel soon and then I can take better care of you.”The ride to the motel consisted of Sam’s begging and Dean’s soft voice spewing out comforts. They got to the motel and Dean was happy that no one was around. He didn’t want to explain to people why he was carrying a six-four naked, hurt man to his room.He laid Sam on Dean’s bed and then went for the first aid kit. Sam still hadn’t stopped begging for it to stop. Dean took the blanket off Sam and started disinfecting cuts and wrapping up bruises. Then Dean noticed something.There was blood coming down Sam’s thighs, blood and something else. Dean tried to locate the source of the bleeding but then felt a cold chill go up to his spine when he found it. There were hand shaped bruises on Sam’s pale thighs, and he was bleeding from his anus. Dean knew what that meant. Sam had been raped.“God, no,” he whispered. Now he knew why Sam was asking for it to stop. He thought he was still being raped, “God, Sammy, I’m sorry.”Dean got a hold of Sam and brought him up against Dean’s chest, “I’m so, so sorry, Sammy. This is my fault, I should’ve…I should’ve been taking better care of you, sweetie, I’m so sorry.”Sam didn’t answer, just kept repeating, “Please stop, I’m sorry, please stop,” over and over again. Dean doubted Sam even knew he was back at the motel with Dean taking care of him.“Okay, Sammy, I got to lay you back down and finish patching you up. Then I can let you sleep.”“Please stop, please,” was Dean’s only answer.Dean finished fixing Sam up but had avoided the area that was most damaged. He didn’t want to traumatize Sam anymore but he also knew that if he didn’t check Sam could get an infection and it would be worse. Dean took a deep breath, put on some gloves and went for Sam’s thighs, parting them enough so he could see Sam’s anus.“Okay, Sammy, I’m going to touch you down here but I’m not going to hurt you, promise.”“Please stop, please, no more,” Dean bit his bottom lip, took a deep breath and breached Sam with a finger, feeling around. The effects were immediate; Sam sat up and started screaming loudly.“No, I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Please stop!”“Sam, Sam, Sammy it’s me, it’s Dean! Damn it,” Dean couldn’t calm Sam down. It didn’t help when there was a loud thump on the wall telling them to shut up.“Go to hell, bastard! Sammy, please calm down,” Dean’s worried tripled when Sam started to hyperventilate. He wasn’t getting enough oxygen and his face was starting to become a deep blue. Just as Dean was about to panic himself, Sam lost consciousness and went limp in his arms. Dean had never been so glad that Sam fainted. Dean held Sam close to him, not wanting to let go of his little brother.“Okay, Sammy, I’m gonna clean you up and hopefully it isn’t too bad down there, yeah? Don’t worry, Sammy, I’ll take care you.”Dean spread Sam’s legs once again and felt around Sam’s anus. The good news was that there wasn’t much of a tear and it would it heal by itself without stitches. The bad news was that Sam wouldn’t be able to eat solid food because any type of pressure could make it worse. Oh, and the fact that Sam had been hurt in one of his most intimate places.“I’m so sorry, baby.”OoOoOoOoDean stayed up all night taking care of Sam and calming him down when he had nightmares. By the time morning came Dean was exhausted and heartbroken over his little brother’s rape. He should’ve been with him; he should’ve protected his younger brother better. Dean started petting Sam’s hair when started whimpering again.“Shh, Sam, it’s okay, I’ve got you, I’ve got you.”Dean saw as Sam’s eyelids opened slowly, it killed him to see the left one not opening completely as a black eye had blossomed. Sam looked around the room with trepidation on his expression before his sight landed on Dean. Dean saw as Sam visibly relaxed.“Hey, baby, how you feeling?”“Dean,” he croaked out. Dean got a glass of water and helped Sam take small sips.“Easy, now, Sammy, don’t want to get sick now.”Sam took smaller sips but finished the glass of water. He then looked around, confused. Dean saw the moment Sam remembered what had happened. His eyes widened, he looked scared, and then he got up and ran towards the bathroom.“Sam,” Dean followed right after his little brother, wanting to be there for him. Sam got on his knees and started retching into the toilet. Dean winced in sympathy as Sam finished vomiting everything he had in his stomach and stayed heaving.Dean rubbed Sam’s back trying to comfort his younger brother, “There now baby, relax, just let it all out. It’ll be fine, baby boy, I’m here now.”Sam stopped retching and stayed on his knees, tears coming down his eyes; Dean felt his heart break. Dean helped his brother stand up and then made him wash his teeth and face. While that was happening Dean started drawing Sam a bath, glad that the motel had a tub and not only a shower, and then put some antiseptics in the tub to stop any infection that could be forming in Sam.Dean turned around to come face to face with a confused looking Sammy, “C’mon, baby, time for a bath it’ll make you feel better.”Sam looked at Dean like he had no idea what was coming out of his mouth. Dean said nothing and went to the tub and adjusted the water temperature to something tolerable. He turned around to find Sam sitting curled up on the floor of the bathroom. It broke his heart.“Okay, Sammy, let’s get you up and undressed. You’ll feel better after a bath, okay?”Sam kept silent but allowed Dean to take off his clothes and didn’t protest when Dean led him to the tub and sat him down. Dean felt bad when he saw Sam flinch because of the antiseptic but he needed to kill off any infection before it started.“It’s okay, Sam, I know it stings but it’s for your own good,” Sam brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. Dean let him be and went to look for a bowl or cup or something. He finally settled on a little pot he found lying around. He frowned, it would have to do. He went back to the bathroom to find Sam in the same position.“Okay sweet boy, time to get you cleaned up nice and good,” Dean said with fake cheer. He didn’t want Sam catching any negative vibes. Dean got on his knees turned on the faucet and started pouring water on Sam’s hair. As soon as it was wet enough Dean got Sam’s shampoo and started massaging it onto Sam’s head. The more Dean massaged the more tension seeped out of Sam. He wasn’t fully relaxed, it was true, but he stopped hugging his knees and eventually even those started disappearing in the water little by little.“Close your eyes, baby,” Dean poured more water on Sam to wash away the shampoo. Next, he got a soft rag he had found and poured some soap on it and started washing Sam’s body.“Arms up,” Sam complied and let himself be taken care of by his older brother. A part of him was glad Dean wasn’t throwing his assault back at him but a bigger part was yelling at him that everything was his fault and sooner or later Dean was going to snap and reprimand him for letting himself be captured and raped. Sam tried not to think about it and let himself relax into Dean’s gentle touches and soft words.All too soon it was over. Dean was letting the water drain down and was pouring more water onto Sam’s body so that any leftover soap could get washed off. As soon as that was done Sam felt strong hands under his armpits helping him get up. They didn’t let go when he was up and instead he felt hands around his waist while Dean helped him out of the tub. As soon as he was out Sam felt a towel over his head and Dean gently dried it. Dean continued drying Sam off and seemed to enjoy it. The way he was taking care of Sam, it’s like he was apologizing but at the same time liking it. It was like he was worshipping Sam.Sam mentally shook his head. That a was a ridiculous thought. Why would Dean like taking care of his stupid little brother? At best Dean was doing this because of duty, at worst it was because of pity. Sam frowned, he’d rather have Dean’s anger than pity.“All done, Sammy, c’mon let’s go get you dressed,” Dean took Sam’s hand and pulled him towards Dean’s bed. He sat Sam down and rummaged through Sam’s duffle until he took out a pair of Sam’s old worn sweats, a pair of boxers, a soft cotton shirt, and a hoodie that was rarely used unless Sam felt sick. Dean helped Sam put on the clothes and then took him to his bed.Dean laid him down and went to the bathroom to presumably clean up the mess they’d made. Sam turned to his side and curled himself into a ball. Doing so put a strain on his middle where most of the kicks and punches had been given. His ass felt wrecked, like if a whole vase had been shoved up it. Sam felt the tears falling down his cheek but he couldn’t help them coming out. He knew he should wipe them before his brother saw his weakness evidenced on his face but he couldn’t gather up enough energy to do so.Sam didn’t know how much time passed but he what felt like an eternity later he felt strong, firm arms around him. Soft sobs soon turned into loud, ugly wailing but Sam just couldn’t stop. Everything, every bad shit that had happened to him the past years suddenly seemed to fall on top of him. Everything that happened ended up with the latest shit storm that was his life. He had been raped. Sure, he had been raped in the Cage, but that was the cage, it was meant to be torturous but for it to have happened here on Earth, the same planet he had saved…It wasn’t fucking fair. Sam cried himself to sleep and those strong arms never left him.OoOoOoOoSam had to be treated like a fine china. It had been a week since Sam’s rape and Dean had been taking care of Sam even more than before. They both ended up in Rufus’ cabin to lay low. Dean never let Sam out his sight, bathed Sam every night now since it seemed to be the only thing that calmed his younger brother down, and basically hovered over him like a mother hen. Dean would’ve thought by now that Sam would have to be driven up the walls but it seemed to be the opposite, he was thriving in Dean’s attention.It pained him to see Sam, the most independent person he had ever met, be so reliant on Dean for his personal and emotional needs. Dean didn’t mind, he cuddled with Sam on the couch or on the bed, gave comforting touches and soothed away nightmares but it still bothered Dean. Sam was the strongest person he had ever known, he had survived Lucifer and the Cage; he had to be strong to still come standing on the other side. But, it seemed, Sam’s strength had waned and this rape was what broke the camel’s back. Dean didn’t blame Sam for wanting comfort and security, he just wished he could take care better care of his brother. Dean gritted his teeth when he remembered what had happened the day before.They were both cuddling on the old, rickety sofa when Sam had accidently lost grip of his hot coffee; a hot coffee that had ended up on Dean’s lap. Without thinking, Dean pushed Sam away and started throwing curse words around. Dean left the room and took off his pants trying to cool his legs down some. On the plus side, it hadn’t been too serious, just a bit of bit redness. Dean had gone back to the living room in just his boxers.He frowned when he hadn’t seen Sam on the couch. He had looked around and started panicking when he glanced around the living room sans a little brother. Dean started looking around the little cabin calling out Sam’s name. When he hadn’t found him in it Dean went outside.“Sammy,” he called out, desperate and afraid his little brother had been taken away from him again.“Sam, answer me,” Dean went to the back of the cabin and felt relief when he saw a shaggy head poking from behind a fallen log.“Sam why didn’t you answer…me,” Dean had to pause, Sam was crying, his eyes rimmed red.“Sammy, what’s wrong,” Sam had flinched and Dean dropped the hand he was stretching towards his baby brother.“Please don’t hate me, I’m sorry I dropped the coffee. I’m so stupid, I keep fucking up!”“Hey, hey! Stop that,” Dean had to put his hand behind Sam’s head because Sam had started thumping his head on the log, hard.“C’mon,” Dean picked Sam up in a fireman hold. He was sweating and gritting his teeth as he carried his younger brother but he didn’t care. He just wanted Sam indoors and to talk to him. Dean sat Sam on the couch as gently as he could but Sam still gave out a surprised umph. Dean prodded the back of Sam’s head gently trying to determine whether he was at risk of a concussion. All he felt was a little lump, nothing to really worry about but Dean made a note to keep an eye out for it.“What’s wrong, sweet pea?”“I’m sorry, please don’t be mad, please don’t yell, please?”It had been at that moment that Dean had truly grasped how bad off his younger truly was after his rape. Dean closed his eyes for a moment before crouching down to Sam’s eye level, “Sweetie, I’m not mad, it was an accident, it could happen to anyone. Besides, I’m okay, nothing bad happened.”“I’m still stupid,” Sam whispered out.Dean frowned, “Why do you say that Sam?”“It’s my fault that I was captured and raped, I wasn’t paying attention when the demons jumped me. I should’ve been paying attention!”“Hey, Sam, calm down, baby, it is not your fault. You didn’t ask to be raped, nobody ever does.”Sam shook his head. Dean sighed, he knew getting Sam to see otherwise would be a challenge but he was more than willing to do so. After all, Sam was his little brother and sometimes even more. That night, Dean bathed Sam and they both fell asleep in each other’s arms.The next day, Dean woke up before Sam and he left him a note saying he was getting breakfast. Dean went as fast as he could so to not leave Sam alone for too long. It wasn’t even thirty minutes later when Dean returned to find a dejected looking Sam staring at his cell phone with fresh tear tracks flowing down his cheeks.“Sammy, what are you doing out here in the cold? You barely have any clothes on and you’re shivering,” Dean helped Sam stand and herded him inside, “You shouldn’t be out in the cold like that, Sammy,” Dean reprimanded his younger brother, “you’ll get sick.”Sam seemed to be in a trance, his eyes not staring at anything, “Sweetie, what’s wrong?”“They recorded everything,” Sam answered in a deadpan voice.“What?”“On my phone, they recorded everything they did to me.”Dean stared at the phone in Sam’s hands, “Oh sweetie,” Dean hugged Sam to his chest and he felt the tears that were wetting his shirt.“Someone messaged me this morning, ‘check your videos’, it said, so I did and I saw everything. They recorded it. From the second rape until they threw me away in the trash. God, they were laughing and cheering the whole damn time they violated me.”Dean let Sam sob on his shirt. Dean wished he could go back in time to stop it from happening. From preventing Sam from leaving, from stopping the fight that had Sam leaving in the first place. In a way, Dean was to blame, too.“I’m sorry, Sammy.”Sam sniffled, “It’s not your fault.”Dean didn’t answer if he said otherwise Sam would feel guilty about it. Instead, Dean got the phone and made sure Sam was looking at him as he threw it on the floor and smashed it under his foot.“First of all, I’m buying you a new one. Secondly, this wasn’t your fault. It was those bastards fault. They might have raped you and violated you but I’m not going to let them keep reminding you. This a new start, okay? I’ll always be here for you and it doesn’t matter how long it takes but I will make sure you understand that you’re free of any fault here.”Sam got up and hugged Dean before kissing him on the lips. Dean was surprised but he soon got with the program. A few moments later they both let their lips loose of one another so that they could breathe air.“Thank you, Dean. I love you so much.”“I love you, too, sweetie, don’t ever forget that.”Sam held on to Dean for an undeterminable amount of time. Dean only knew that by the time Dean got Sam to let go and sit on the sofa the food was cold and he had to reheat it. Dean sat on the sofa and waited for Sam to get comfortable while he cuddled up to his chest. They both ate in silence knowing that they always had one another.They might not have much but they always had each other and Dean wouldn’t have it any other way.
10440975	Liekarstvo	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": null, "Fandom": null, "Language": "Русский", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by brghst", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-25T00:00:00", "words": "518", "Additional Tags": "Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst", "Relationship": "Arthur Villain/Joey Wilson", "Character": "Joey Wilson", "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "DCU, DCU (Comics), Deathstroke the Terminator (Comics)", "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	— Вам плохо, мистер Уилсон?Дежурный вопрос, отрицательный ответ.Джо не может сказать, что ему действительно плохо. В смысле, бывало и хуже. Физически.Он всего-навсего убегает и прячется. От Этиэнн, от того, что сделал с Дэйвом, от игр, в которые играют родители. От себя самого и раскалывающей голову надвое мигрени.Джо двигает простую смотровую кушетку ближе к стене, чтобы, усевшись на край, откинуться назад и прижаться спиной, упереться затылком в прохладный камень. Это дает секундное облегчение. В лаборатории Артура всегда тишина и полумрак. И категорически ничего, что может спровоцировать усиление очередного приступа.Оказывается, иногда нужно так мало.— Вы так и не скажете мне, от чего лечите моего отца, док?Мысленно Джо зовет Артура по имени. Вслух — никогда. Это что-то вроде уважения, нежелания топтаться даже по неочерченным рамкам, в конце концов, любой может составить список мелочей, что будут его раздражать. Артур, принимающий это короткое «док» вместо «доктор Виллхэйн» так, как когда кто-то окликнул его по имени, не кривился даже когда Этиэнн неправильно прочла его фамилию на визитке.— Так же, как не скажу ему, что вы здесь четвертый раз за две недели, мистер Уилсон.Джо смотрит на него из-под полуопущенных век.Артур прямой, напряженный. Или, скорее, всегда собранный. Сосредоточенный. Нейтральный, безэмоциональный почти. Если не считать сарказм за проявление эмоций, то без «почти».Ни одного лишнего движения. Пригладить волосы, одернуть рукав, потянуться, даже просто улыбнуться — кто снисходит до таких физических мелочей, в конце концов. Не он точно.Похож на андроида. А может и есть, изобретения Дэйва наглядно демонстрировали: способности ИИ куда выше, чем Джо мог себе представить.Проклятье. Дэйв. Просто не думать.Пауза, которую выдерживает Артур, вряд ли дольше пяти секунд, но кажется растянутой на гребаное тысячелетие.— Но вы можете столкнуться с ним сами. Ваш отец, мистер Уилсон, имеет привычку беспардонно объявляться без предупреждения. Как и вы. Думаю, это наследственное.Джо должно быть стыдно, но вместо этого хочется улыбнуться.Подвал медцентра в Джерси оказывается неожиданным островком спокойствия в беспрестанно бурлящем вокруг хаосе.Главное — почти никакой необходимости лгать. Артур не задает вопросов, регулярно звучащих от остальных. О чем-то не знает, на что-то ему плевать. Джо никогда не думал, что будет готов так дорого дать за чужое равнодушное спокойствие. А от него даже не требуют ничего — образцы крови и ДНК, отданные добровольно еще в первый раз, едва ли можно считать платой.Артур не задает вопросов, молча сует ему в руки бутылку воды и блистер с таблетками. Джо выдавливает и глотает две, даже не читая надпись на упаковке. В голове настойчиво, в такт приступам боли, пульсирует навязчивое желание почувствовать холодные ладони Артура на висках. Джо преследует, конечно, ощущение накатывающего безумия, но пока не настолько, чтобы об этом просить.***Джо так и не отслеживает, когда проваливается в сон. Наверное, сразу, стоит только мигрени начать отступление с занятых позиций.Потом смутно, сквозь полотно тумана, затянувшего сознание, чувствует, как Артур накидывает ему на плечи медицинский халат, и слишком отстраненно осознает собственное тело в горизонтальном положении.Едва различимо пахнет горьким одеколоном.— Спи, мальчик, — говорит Артур, когда Джо пытается заставить себя не встать даже, просто приподняться и открыть глаза.В голосе Артура есть что-то гипнотическое, а Джо держался, бодрствуя, последние сорок девять часов.У него ни сил, ни желания сопротивляться.
10495860	Noch poslie	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "F/F", "Characters": null, "Fandom": "Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett", "Language": "Русский", "Rating": "Explicit", "author": "by sige_vic", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-29T00:00:00", "words": "1,869", "Additional Tags": "Female Aziraphale, Female Crowley, Comfort Sex, Oral Sex", "Relationship": "Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	79 год нашей эрыНеапольЛунный свет сочился сквозь алтарь заброшенной церкви, высвечивая золотые локоны Азирафель. Она сидела на скамье и невидящим взглядом смотрела в проход. Сегодняшний день был длинным и тяжелым, и теперь ей отчаянно нужно было отвлечься. Перед глазами обжигающими вспышками мелькали воспоминания. Раскаленная красная лава несется по улицам, которые Азирафель так любила; тележки и корзинки пылают, люди кричат. А ведь она пыталась их предупредить. Пыталась спасти. В памяти появились лица. Мать, тщетно пытавшаяся уберечь свое дитя. Калеки, брошенные на произвол судьбы. Бездомный, которому было нечего терять. Грудь ее болезненно сдавило.Центральная дверь открылась. Азирафель даже не подняла взгляд – она и так знала, кто это. Подошвы все громче стучали по полу, пока не приблизились к скамье, на которой сидела Азирафель. Она посмотрела вниз, когда чёрные сандалии оказались рядом с её ступнями. Она даже не замечала, как побелели ее костяшки. – Много у тебя тут беженцев, – пробормотала Кроули, усаживаясь на скамью. Азирафель рассеянно кивнула и запрокинула голову, разглядывая танцующую в лунном свете пыль.– Пускай отдыхают. Надеюсь, это место безопасно, учитывая расстояние до… – она поежилась, – ну, ты знаешь.Она почувствовала, как демон ее разглядывает, но не повернула головы. Прошло уже много времени с тех пор, как они впервые оказались на этой благословенной планете. Первые пару тысяч лет они расстраивали планы друг друга, но сейчас это занятие как-то приелось. Азирафель начала по-настоящему получать удовольствие от жизни на Земле. И, пусть она ненавидела себя за эти мысли, она уже начала думать о Кроули как о друге. В конце концов, разве это не ее работа? Любить всех божьих созданий? Кроули чуть шевельнулась. – У тебя новое тело, – осторожно заметила она. – А что, старое… То есть – ничего, что я спрашиваю…– Да, – Азирафель окинула взглядом Кроули, которая тоже выглядела непривычно в женском теле. – А что с твоим случилось? – Долгая история, – ответила Кроули, уставившись на луну. Азирафель какое-то время разглядывала демона. Длинные черные волосы, убранные в высокую прическу, высокие скулы, стройная фигура. Кроули легко сошла бы за аристократку. Глаза у нее были желтые, с вертикальными зрачками, но это уж никогда не менялось. Азирафель нравилась новая внешность. Ее золотистые кудри ниспадали до самой талии, лицо было круглым, а бедра плотнее, чем она ожидала, но она в любом случае всегда предпочитала основательные тела. Ее опять затопили воспоминания, и Азирафель, застыв, отвернулась. – Здорово выглядит. Твое новое тело, в смысле, – заметила Кроули в слабой попытке отвлечь внимание ангела от событий минувшего дня. – Вот насчет своего не уверена.– Обычно требуется какое-то время, чтобы к ним привыкнуть, – отметила Азирафель, не до конца понимая, какое направление принимает их разговор. – А почему ты вообще здесь, кстати? – спросила она, вновь оборачиваясь к демону.– Да так просто. По пути к дворцу императора, где мне нужно будет…– Искушать? – предположила Азирафель с улыбкой. Подобный обмен репликами был для них привычным делом, и обе почувствовали себя более комфортно.– Ну, ты же меня знаешь, – расплылась Кроули в ответной улыбке. Ее выражение лица сменилось на более игривое, когда она склонилась к Азирафель и прошипела: – Ты ведь знаешь, я и правда могу сделать кое-что, чтобы отвлечь тебя от сегодняшних событий. – Кроули прижала холодную ладонь к теплой щеке Азирафель, заставляя встретиться с ней взглядом. Азирафель подалась вперед и целомудренно поцеловала Кроули, слегка вздрогнув от того, какими холодными были ее губы. Отстранившись, она пробормотала: – Ты ведь знаешь, нам не следует этим заниматься.– Может, тебе и не следует, но это ведь моя работа – искушать, – промурлыкала Кроули, устраивая ладони на бедрах ангела и медленно скользя пальцами под подол платья. Кроули осторожно прижала ногти к нежной коже и уставилась в небесно-голубые глаза. Она привстала, нависая над Азирафель.Поглаживая пальцами бедра Азирафель, Кроули снова ее поцеловала. Но только та начала расслабляться, как голову заполонила новая волна воспоминаний. Азирафель отстранилась.– Прости. Сложно сосредоточиться.Холодные пальцы Кроули уже успели забраться довольно-таки высоко и покоились на пухлом животике. Она всмотрелась в глаза ангела, а затем прижалась лбом к ее лбу. Они обе прикрыли глаза, слушая дыхание друг друга.– Я могу разогнать все мрачные мысли, – шепнула Кроули. – Для нас обеих. Пусть только на мгновение. Она приоткрыла глаза, чтобы полюбоваться на россыпь золотистых веснушек на носу ангела. – Мы сейчас в безопасности, поверь мне. – Она сдвинула пальцы с бедер Азирафель на выступающий холмик. – Можно?– Давненько уже… – призналась Азирафель. Они и раньше занимались подобным, и каждый раз она испытывала чувство вины. Ангелам не положено поддаваться таким соблазнам – но ведь нельзя жить с людьми и ничего у них не набраться за четыре тысячелетия. К тому же она всегда чувствовала некое извращенное удовольствие от того, что занималась такими неправильными вещами с демоном. Азирафель приблизила лицо Кроули к своему, и они снова приникли друг к другу губами. Обе постепенно расслабились и углубили поцелуй. Кроули погладила шею ангела, а затем спустила ладонь на грудь, такую нежную и мягкую. Азирафель ахнула, когда Кроули задрала платье и начала водить пальцами по грубоватой коже растяжек на животе, медленно забираясь выше, от чего ангел тихо застонала. Широко ухмыляясь, Кроули прихватила губами ее шею и проложила поцелуями дорожку к груди. Азирафель зарылась пальцами в волосы демона, разрушая идеально уложенную прическу.Кроули протяжно зарычала и, жадно целуя Азирафель, с силой сжала ладонями ее грудь. Ангел с готовностью подалась вперед и раздвинула ноги. Оторвавшись от губ демона, она простонала: – Дорогая моя, будь добра...Кроули ухмыльнулась и прошипела на ей на ухо:– Как пожелаешь, ангел.Ее ладонь поползла вниз, с удовольствием обследуя все изгибы и складочки, встречающиеся на пути. Пальцы ловко подобрались к клитору и плавно сместились к приоткрывшемуся отверстию. Кроули одновременно прикусила сосок ангела и медленно скользнула холодным пальцем внутрь. Азирафель со стоном сжалась вокруг пальца. Она уже начала терять связь с действительностью, как вдруг ее грубо вернули с небес на землю приглушенные голоса, раздававшиеся от центральной двери церкви.– Ты не заперла дверь?! – гневно вопросила она.– Не подумала… – пробормотала Кроули, замерев на мгновение, чтобы как следует прислушаться.– Почему они вообще не спят в такое время? – простонала Азирафель.– Ссссволочи. – Кроули вытащила было палец и тут же вставила его обратно. Азирафель, с трудом удержавшись от стона, одарив демона строгим взглядом. Кроули, быстро взвесив последствия, слегка согнула палец, словно подманивая ангела ближе. Азирафель все-таки застонала, изо всех сил стараясь делать это как можно тише. Кроули, не унимаясь, прижала большой палец к ее клитору и надавила, заставив ангела вскрикнуть от неожиданности. Зажав рот руками, Азиафель сердито уставилась на Кроули.Голоса звучали все отчетливее – похоже, это были двое мужчин.– Ты это слышал? – поинтересовался один.– Да, кажется, вот отсюда, – откликнулся второй.Кроули махнула рукой, и дверь захлопнулась, щелкнув замком. Ее попытались открыть снаружи, но безуспешно, и вскоре за дверью послышались удаляющиеся шаги.– Ну так и? – недовольно сказала Азирафель, вновь привлекая к себе внимание демона. Их взгляды встретились, и по губам Кроули скользнула змеиная улыбка. Она вытащила палец и опустила голову, прижимаясь губами к внутренней стороне бедер. Услышав, как ангел бормочет себе под нос благословение, она продолжила покрывать поцелуями нежную кожу. Достигнув цели, Кроули подняла голову, чтобы посмотреть на Азирафель. Ее голова была откинута, покрытая отметинами грудь ходила вверх-вниз, лунный свет танцевал по поверхности кожи. Верхняя часть платья была заткнута под обнаженную грудь, а подол сбился на животе. Она была очень красивая.Кроули распрямила язык, чтобы покрыть всю поверхность вульвы. Азирафель, тихо застонав, придержала руками голову демона. Пройдясь по всем складочкам, Кроули скользнула горячим раздвоенным языком внутрь, вызвав у ангела протяжный стон. Ловкие движения языка вызывали дрожь в коленках. Азирафель только было начала сжимать в ладонях пучки гладких черных волос Кроули, как та выскользнула из нее и, переместившись языком к клитору, втиснула внутрь два пальца. В голове у Азирафель затуманилось, напряжение росло, ничто больше не имело значения. Ничто, кроме этого момента. Она покачивала бедрами в одном ритме с двигающимися внутри нее пальцами. Кроули, подняв голову, прижалась к ней губами в жадном, мокром поцелуе. Азирафель застонала и выдавила, отчаянно толкаясь бедрами навстречу движениям: «Кроули. Т-только не останавливайся!» Демон с широкой ухмылкой прикусила шею ангела, не прекращая двигать пальцами и чувствуя, как Азирафель сжимается вокруг нее и начинает содрогаться в волнах оргазма. Ангел вонзила ногти в спину демона, оставляя на ней отметины в форме полумесяцев.Постепенно дыхание ее замедлилось, и она ослабила хватку. Кроули подалась назад и окинула Азирафель взглядом, чувствуя гордость за хорошо выполненную работу. Золотистые кудри прилипли к лицу, пот скатывался по груди и бедрам – или это было что-то другое? – Ну что ж, – выдохнула ангел, хватая Кроули за руку, – твоя очередь. – Ч-что… – начала было протестовать она, но Азирафель уже втянула ее в страстный поцелуй. Кроули, захваченная врасплох, чуть не подскочила, когда почувствовала, как пухлая рука ангела обхватывает ее сзади за бедра и вежливо подталкивает к скамейке.– Азирафель, тебе не обязательно…– Слишком много говоришь, моя дорогая, – одарила она Кроули приятной улыбкой, подтягивая ближе. – Почему бы тебе не присесть?Кроули попыталась было оседлать бедра ангела, но Азирафель покачала головой и жестом предложила ей переместиться выше. До Кроули наконец дошло, и она неловко примостилась на верхушке скамьи, упираясь ступнями в подставку для книг. Неловкое ожидание затянулось – Азирафель не торопилась сделать первый шаг.– Ангел?– Прошу прощения. Я просто… – Азирафель провела пальцами по нежным складкам вульвы Кроули, от чего та задрожала. – Я просто думаю, что ты очень красивая.Кроули начала было отвечать, но тут Азирафель подхватила ее руками за внешнюю сторону бедер, прижимаясь теплым языком к клитору. Кроули занималась любовью резко и грубовато, а вот Азирафель любила неспешно и вдумчиво. Даже если за нее проделали половину работы. Кроули и так уже истекала от возбуждения, так что Азирафель наконец решила сжалиться над ней. Она принялась за дело, основательно пробуя на вкус демона и стараясь ничего не упустить. Язык ее прошелся по всем самым чувствительным местам Кроули, и та сдвинула руку, чтобы удержаться на скамье, а другую прижала ко рту. Одно дело – вызывать стоны у Азирафель, но совсем другое – выдать, насколько ей самой нравился процесс: тут у нее на пути стояла гордость. И все равно она издала сдавленный возглас, когда язык ангела скользнул внутрь. Она была уже так близка к оргазму, а Азирафель оказалась очень быстрой ученицей. Она двигалась все глубже и быстрее, заставляя Кроули бессознательно раскачиваться навстречу. Теперь демон обеими руками держалась за скамью, вонзив в нее ногти. Перед глазами все начало расплываться, и она выкрикнула имя ангела, чувствуя, как ее наконец захлестывает сладкая разрядка. Волна за волной прокатывались через нее, и она наслаждалась каждым мгновением. Тяжело дыша, она на нетвердых ногах соскользнула с верхушки скамьи и опустилась рядом с Азирафель, дыхание которой тоже было прерывистым. Они молча сидели, медленно собираясь с мыслями. Затем Азирафель вытерла рот и подалась вперед, чтобы запечатлеть на лбу Кроули нежный поцелуй. Волосы обеих налипли на лоб, а одежда пристала к телу. В конце концов ангел поднялась на ноги и тут же захихикала.– Похоже, ты на этой скамье целые письмена вывела, дорогая моя, – весело заметила она. На деревянной поверхности и правда красовались отчетливые отметины – на интересном расстоянии от того места, где раньше была голова ангела. – Ну и ладно, – пожала плечами Кроули, – кому какое дело? --Кроули ушла с рассветом, а Азирафель потратила много времени, чтобы привести себя в порядок. Позже, когда беженцы начали просыпаться и бродить по церкви, они принялись активно жаловаться. Для начала выяснилось, что они слышали какие-то странные звуки посреди ночи. Один из них вспомнил, как раздался крик «Азурмапель» или что-то вроде того. Ангел понимающе улыбнулась и направила их внимание в другое русло. Ей это удавалось, пока кто-то не упомянул странные, похожие на следы от когтей, следы на скамье в алтарной части. Воспоминания о страшном событии то и дело одолевали Азирафель и в течение того дня, и последующие несколько месяцев. Но теперь она могла заменить тяжелые мысли на более приятные. Пусть только на мгновение.
10477506	Mommy	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Shin Hoseok \| Wonho, Yoo Kihyun", "Fandom": "Monsta X (Band)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by kinkyacewonho (camboy_hynjin)", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-28T00:00:00", "words": "1,934", "Additional Tags": "nipple sucking, Mommy Kink, Nonsexual Mommy Kink, Nonsexual Nipple Sucking, Mommy!Kihyun, Baby Boy!Wonho, Canon Compliant, Band Fic, Monsta X Bingo", "Relationship": "Shin Hoseok \| Wonho/Yoo Kihyun", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": "Monsta X Bingo", "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Kihyun knows Hoseok’s tells. He’s chewing on his lips, a nervous habit Kihyun first noticed back when they filmed No.Mercy. Whenever Hoseok stressed about a performance, or felt he messed up, he worried the skin of his lips between his teeth—and in the high-pressure environment of No.Mercy, that happened often.Now, they’re sitting on couches backstage while they wait to record their comeback stage for M!Countdown. Kihyun keeps glancing at Hoseok when he thinks he’s not looking, trying to gauge just how nervous he is. They’re all anxious about this comeback –they have a lot riding on it, especially with Starship’s constant pressure to get their first win—but Hoseok has a bad habit of taking these burdens on himself, as if the responsibility is solely his.Kihyun can see the panic rising behind Hoseok’s eyes, and by the time Hoseok has his fingers in his mouth, chewing on one of his ragged cuticles, he knows there’s only one solution.“Hoseok,” he starts, getting up from the couch. Hoseok startles, not expecting to be spoken to. “Let’s take a selca for the fans.”“Um... okay.” Hoseok gets up too, hovering at Kihyun’s side like a lost puppy. He starts to pull out his iTouch, but Kihyun shakes his head.“Not here,” he says, and when Hoseok looks up, his eyes blown wide with confusion, Kihyun feels an overwhelming urge to protect him. “The lighting is better in the hallway,” he explains, gesturing for Hoseok to follow.He leads him out of their dressing room, but instead of stopping to take a selca, he keeps walking.“Where are we going?” Hoseok asks.Kihyun flashes him a tiny smirk. “You’ll see, baby.”It’s innocent, as far as pet names go, but it’s enough for Hoseok to figure out Kihyun’s true intentions. His eyes grow impossibly large at the realization. “You said it was too risky to do before shows.”Kihyun did say that, after they nearly got caught in their dressing room backstage at the MAMAs. And maybe it is, but Kihyun knows if Hoseok doesn’t have a way to relieve his nervous energy, it’s more likely that he’ll make a mistake during recording, one that’s imperceptible to the fans but that Hoseok will beat himself over for weeks. And Kihyun hates watching him tear himself apart.“You need it,” he says simply, opening the door to the unused storage closet they typically sneak off to for these activities. Kihyun steps inside, turning on the bare light bulb hanging from the center of the ceiling, and Hoseok follows, chewing on his cuticles once again.Kihyun sits on the floor, pressing his back against the wall so he can support Hoseok better. “Come here, baby,” he murmurs, unbuttoning the first few buttons of his dress shirt, and Hoseok scrambles into Kihyun’s lap.Kihyun pushes the fabric to the side, exposing his chest, and Hoseok stares, eyeing Kihyun’s skin like it’s a treat he’s wondering if he has permission to taste.Kihyun knows it takes time for Hoseok to settle into the right headspace, even when he’s nearly there like he is today, so he cards his fingers through Hoseok’s ashy locks, encouraging him. “Go ahead, love. I’m all yours.”Hoseok lets out a tiny whimper, looking up at Kihyun once more for reassurance. Kihyun nods, then Hoseok leans in, opening his mouth and breathing hot air above Kihyun’s nipple before taking it into his mouth.“Good boy,” Kihyun whispers, shivering a little from the warmth of Hoseok’s mouth on his sensitive skin. Hoseok makes a muffled sound around Kihyun’s nipple as he sucks, and Kihyun can feel the way Hoseok’s body relaxes, the tension in his shoulders melting away.When he pulls back several seconds later, Kihyun’s skin is damp, and Hoseok is clinging, fingers fisted in the fabric of his shirt.“Mommy.”Kihyun nods, lightly running his fingertip down Hoseok’s face. “Mommy’s here, baby. It’s okay.”Satisfied that he’s safe in his caregiver’s arms, Hoseok lets go, closing his lips around Kihyun’s other nipple and sucking on it too. It started as a sex thing. Kihyun noticed Hoseok’s oral fixation—the lip biting, and the way he absentmindedly bit and sucked at his fingers and nails—and asked if it was something he might want to explore in the bedroom. Hoseok was hesitant when Kihyun first suggested sucking his nipples, but once they started, Hoseok didn’t seem to want to let go.Kihyun didn’t get much pleasure from the act itself—Hoseok sucked too hard, too long that first time, until Kihyun’s nipples were red and raw—but something came over Hoseok in those moments. He was desperate—not the kind of desperate he usually is during sex, when he presses Kihyun against the wall and whispers low in his throat how badly he needs him—but like he genuinely needed this to feel at peace. It comforted him, and Kihyun was happy to allow him that comfort.The Mommy thing was a surprise. They were in bed together, post-coital, and Kihyun moved to get up from the bed to grab a tissue and clean them up.“No,” Hoseok whined, his voice small and needy in his post-orgasmic haze. “Mommy, stay.”Kihyun froze, blood cold in his veins as he stared at Hoseok. “What did you call me?”Hoseok’s panic was tangible, eyes wide as he struggled to come up with an excuse. “Nothing, I didn’t say anything.”“You called me Mommy,” Kihyun insisted. Hoseok turned away, his cheeks burning bright red.It wasn’t something Kihyun had ever considered, but given how dependent Hoseok became on Kihyun during sex, and the way he liked to suck on his nipples... it made sense.“Would you like that? If I was your Mommy?”Hoseok didn’t want to answer, but his silence was answer enough. Kihyun wasn’t opposed to trying, and soon the nickname was added to their growing list of kinks. They room together in hotels, in order to get a few hours of private time when they don’t have to worry about prying eyes or someone walking in on them. Sometimes they fuck, but a lot of times they’re too worn out from their schedules to do anything but lie next to each other and snuggle.That was the case in Manila, when they went overseas for a fanmeeting. By the time they got to the hotel, they were too tuckered out to get up to anything naughty. Kihyun took advantage of the private bathroom by taking a long shower, and when he got back to the bedroom, he found Hoseok curled up in one of the beds, looking small and lonely.Kihyun quickly slid into bed next to him, pulling Hoseok into his arms. “What’s wrong, baby?”Hoseok snuggled close, burying his face against Kihyun’s bare chest. “The fanmeeting,” he mumbled, voice muffled.Kihyun carded his fingers through his silvery hair. “Are you nervous?”Hoseok gave a quiet, nonverbal grunt which Kihyun figured meant yes. Kihyun didn’t push for more, content to hold him and stroke his hair for a while.“What if I mess up?” Hoseok asked finally, his voice barely audible.“You’re going to do great, baby,” Kihyun assured him, gently kissing his forehead. “You always do.”“But what if my voice cracks?” Hoseok was fighting off a cold again, and had taken to lip-syncing a few of his lines after his voice cracked during one of their last “Fighter” stages. This fanmeeting was the first time he’d be performing fully live since the incident.“Monbebes will still love you. I still love you. It’s okay. You’re human.”Kihyun knew his words weren’t enough to calm Hoseok’s worries, and he watched him, trying to figure out what he could do to help him calm down. Hoseok looked away again, absentmindedly tracing patterns with his fingertips on Kihyun’s skin.“Baby,” Kihyun said. Hoseok hummed to acknowledge him. “Would it help if I let you suckle?”Hoseok went still, considering the offer. The idea was unconventional, but it seemed to comfort Hoseok during sex, so maybe it could work for this too. “...maybe,” he said finally, his voice small and timid.Kihyun moved his hand to the back of Hoseok’s head to support him. Hoseok started to lean in, but hesitated with his mouth a few centimeters away from Kihyun’s chest. “Kihyunnie...”“Yes, baby?”“This isn’t weird, is it?”He knew Hoseok wasn’t in the right headspace for this yet, so Kihyun shook his head, trying to be patient and encouraging. “I don’t think it is. If it helps you, then it’s good.” He massaged one of Hoseok’s shoulders, feeling the tension slowly melt from his body.“Okay, Mommy,” Hoseok whispered, taking Kihyun’s nipple into his mouth and sucking gently. Kihyun held still, just letting Hoseok suckle, gently playing with his hair to try and soothe him. It seemed to do the trick, and in moments Hoseok was clinging to him, letting out quiet whimpers with his lips sealed around Kihyun’s nipple.“That’s it,” Kihyun said. “There’s my good boy.”When Hoseok came up for air, he grinned, lighting up from Kihyun’s praise. His lips were pink and swollen, and there wasn’t a trace of his earlier nervousness on his face. “I love you, Mommy.” He snuggled closer, nuzzling into the crook of Kihyun’s neck.Kihyun held him. “I love you too, baby boy.” Kihyun tries to keep a mental check of how much time has passed. There’s a clock on the wall of the supply closet, but it’s been broken as long as Kihyun and Hoseok have been stealing away there. He needs to make sure they get back to their dressing room before their manager or one of the other members comes to check on them, because when Hoseok’s in a headspace like this, getting interrupted by the outside world can be disastrous.The selca excuse buys them more time, because the others know Hoseok likes to try every choice of angle and lighting possible before settling on the right picture, so they won’t question why they were gone so long. But they don’t have forever, and when Kihyun thinks their time is almost up, he tugs very lightly on Hoseok’s hair.Hoseok whines in protest, not wanting to stop sucking Kihyun’s nipples.“Come on, we have to get up.”“Don’t wanna.” Hoseok nips at him, and Kihyun tugs his hair harder as a warning. “Ow! Mommy...”Immediately, Kihyun rubs over the spot where he pulled, soothing the pain with his fingers. "I know you don’t want to stop, but we have to record the comeback stage. You can be a good boy and do that, right?"Hoseok looks up at him, his eyes wide and pliant. Kihyun waits for his words to register.“Come on, Seokkie.” He starts to stand, and Hoseok clings harder.“No! Mommy, don’t go.”“Shh. I’m not leaving you,” Kihyun promises, kissing the top of his head. “I’ll be right with you the whole time, okay? But we have to do our job.”Reluctantly, Hoseok loosens his grip. Kihyun wraps his arms around him, holding onto him as he stands. He stares at Hoseok’s face, trying to gauge his emotional state. He doesn’t want to take him out there if he’s still too deep in his headspace. “Are you okay to go or do you need a few minutes?”Hoseok considers, chewing on his lip again. He reaches for his hand, and Kihyun holds it, lacing their fingers tightly. “Just don’t leave,” he whispers, and Kihyun squeezes.“I won’t ever leave, baby. I’ve got you.”
10464261	A Juvenile Sense of	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Katara (Avatar), Zuko (Avatar)", "Fandom": "Avatar: The Last Airbender", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by orphan_account", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-27T00:00:00", "words": "982", "Additional Tags": "Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Drabble", "Relationship": "Katara/Zuko (Avatar)", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": "Zutara", "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Eight days. Some jerk has stolen her parking spot for the past eight days. A parking spot right in front of her building. A parking spot she pays for. Her parking spot.It shouldn’t be that big of a deal, but Katara gets home late because med school sucks and her schedule is utter shit. By the time she finally gets home, it’s dark and late, and the only available parking spots are the guest spots on the other side of the apartment complex. This asshole that just has to park in her parking spot has effectively forced her to walk fifteen minutes from her car to her apartment, and she’s tired and hungry and just wants to take her damn scrubs off. So, she decides to draw a dick on their window. Because they’re a dick. It’s a juvenile sense of poetic justice.Katara knows she is overreacting, but she doesn’t care right now. She’s fed up. There’s a small voice in the very back of her head saying this will do literally nothing to solve her problem, but that voice is small and oh so easy to ignore.She’s putting the sharpie back in her breast pocket when she hears him.“Uhh... are you trying to steal my car?”Katara turns towards the voice, eyes wide like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar. There’s a beat before she can respond.“No?” She tries to sound as innocent as possible when she finally answers him.The man — the parking spot stealing jerk — takes a step towards her and into the light from the street lamp. He’s got shaggy, dark hair and sharp features. He’s sporting a pretty serious black eye. No, wait, it looks more like a scar, but it’s hard to tell in this lighting.“You were just leaning over the driver’s side door of my car, and it’s like 2 a.m. If you’re not trying to steal my car, what are you doing?” He asks, sounding more tired and annoyed than angry.Katara realizes he hasn’t seen her little drawing yet and is immediately embarrassed. She tries to step in front of it to hide it behind her. It doesn’t work because the world hates her.“You drew a penis a car.” He says very calmly before, “YOU DREW A PENIS ON MY CAR.”She knows his anger is completely rational, but Katara is pissed. He doesn’t get to be mad right now. “Yeah, well, you keep parking in my spot. I pay for that spot, you know.” She steps forward and pokes him in the chest with her index finger before continuing with her voice raised. “And I had a long week and a shit day, and you made me park all the way on the other side of the complex in one of the guest spots. Where I’ve had to park for the last eight days.” She glances behind her at his car before meeting his gaze again and narrowing her eyes. “Where your car should be.”He just stares at her for minute. Katara can’t read any emotion in his features. He opens and closes his mouth a few times before finally saying something.“You drew a penis on my car?” He says, more like a question than a statement, one eyebrow raised. Katara lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding, relieved he did start yelling back at her.“Yes? I don’t know? It seemed fitting. It’s a dick, and you were being a dick by stealing my spot.” She says with a shrug. “I was really mad and just kind of snapped. Sorry.”He slowly nods his head and moves to open the car door. “Okay. Uh well, it’s okay I guess. I’m going to go. It’s late, and I just had a weird night and just want to go home. But umm don’t worry, I won’t be coming back here.” He turns to look at Katara before getting in his car. He doesn’t look angry, just dejected. Like a kicked puppy.She doesn’t know why, but she feels bad for the guy. Not for drawing the dick on his window — he deserved that — but he genuinely seems like he’s had a rough night, and she knows that yelling at him probably made it worse. And did he say he wouldn’t be coming back? What is that about? She didn’t mean to literally scare him out of the neighborhood. She just doesn’t want him parking in her spot.“Wait,” she says, as she steps forward and grabs the car door before he can close it. “Why aren’t you coming back? I didn’t mean to run you off. I’d just appreciate being able to park in front of my building.” He doesn’t say anything, just stares at her. “Do you want a beer?”Katara tries her best to look apologetic. The man studies her face for a moment — probably trying to figure out if this bizarre encounter is going to turn hostile again — before he responds.“Why?”“Well...” She starts to explain her offer, but she finds that she can’t. Why did she invite some random guy back to her apartment for a beer in the middle of the night? As an apology? This isn’t like her. But then again, drawing reproductive organs on cars also isn’t like her. She doesn’t have a good answer for him, so she just shrugs again and says, “You look like you need a drink.”He looks a little offended, but eventually nods and gets out of his car. “Yeah, okay.”“I’m Katara,” she says with an out-stretched hand. He looks down at her hand for a moment before shaking it. He looks up at her, and she offers him a smile.“I’m Zuko.” He gives her a half-smile before asking, “So, drawing genitalia on cars, is that a habit of yours?”
10419099	Blue Aint Your Color	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Katsuki Yuuri, Victor Nikiforov, Phichit Chulanont, Christophe Giacometti", "Fandom": "Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by cowlover2", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-23T00:00:00", "words": "1,750", "Additional Tags": "Songfic, drunk Yuri, rated t just cuz yuri is drunk", "Relationship": "Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Yuri was drunk.He knew he was drunk. He had set out on this night out with Phichit wanting to be drunk. After the day he had had, he wanted to get so drunk that his brain forgot about this day. Judging by the growing fuzziness in his head, he was getting there.But now Chris was trying to stop him.“Chrissssss,” Yuri groaned at the bartender, causing Phichit to snort as he sat next to him at the bar. “One more shot, pleaseeee?”“Nope, you are cut off for the night Yuri,” Chris replied, wiping down a glass. “I know you can drink anyone under a table and leave to tell the tale, but someone has to care about your liver.”“Chrissssss,” Yuri groaned again while Chris set a glass of water in front of him. Yuri sighed and dropped his head onto the bar top. Phichit laughed again and rubbed his friend on the back.Yuri tilted his head and looked down the spanse of the bar. There weren’t any other people sat at the bar except for one man. He had been at the bar when Yuri and Phichit had arrived, but he had been nursing the same drink the whole time. He had beautiful pale skin and silver hair that was short in the back and had bangs that fell to one side of his face like beams of moonlight. He was dressed simply in a long sleeved black t-shirt and dark blue jeans.But he looked so sad.His face looked so downtrodden, like the weight of the world was pressing down on his shoulders. His eyes looked fuzzy and unfocused as if he was lost in a maze and he couldn’t find his way out. It made Yuri sad. Yuri had had a shitty day, but it looked like this man had been having a shitty week. Or month. Or life.Yuri turned to face Chris and Phichit. “Do you know who he is?” he asked, not exactly quietly but quiet enough so that the stranger couldn’t hear him over the music coming from the juke box at the front of the bar.Phichit subtly looked at the man over the rim of a glass of beer. “Nope, never seen him.”“He hasn’t come here before,” Chris replied, grabbing a bottle of beer and opening it for a customer that had walked up to the bar.“He looks so saddddd,” Yuri said.“You could go talk to him,” Phichit replied.“He looks so sadddd though,” Yuri whined. “What if he doesn’t want to talk?”“Break the ice,” Chris said, walking back over to them. “Buy him a drink or something.”“He already has a drink,” Yuri groaned. “Plus, I don’t want him to think I’m flirting, I just want to know why he’s sadddd.”Yuri glanced back at the stranger, crinkling his nose in thought. Then his eyes lit up. “I’VE GOT IT!” Yuri shouted, shooting up from his barstool. His sudden outburst caused the few other customers sitting in the bar to turn their heads toward Yuri. Including the mysterious stranger who Yuri had been talking about. If Yuri wasn’t too drunk to care, he would be extremely uncomfortable.“What have you got?” Phichit questioned.“I know how to cheer him up!” Yuri replied. “I’ll sing him a song!”“Uh, I think future sober Yuri would object to that,” Phichit countered.“I’m gonna do it,” Yuri said, starting towards the jukebox.Phichit grabbed Yuri’s shirt sleeve before he could get very far. “Future sober Yuri would hate me if I didn’t at least try and stop you. Although you drunk singing is always good for my Instagram views.”“It would be pretty entertaining,” Chris smirked.“C’monnnnn, it’ll be funnnnn Phichit,” Yuri whined, tugging away from his friend.Phichit sighed. “Fine, but at least let me help you pick the song. When I show you the video later I don’t want you to complain about the song choice.”“Yay!” Yuri clapped, dragging his friend over to the juke box. They put money in for a song and scrolled through the options until Yuri finally picked one that he liked that Phichit also approved of. Yuri motioned for Phichit to wait and he padded back over to the bar.“Chrissssss,” Yuri said. The bartender looked over at Yuri with a raised eyebrow. “Can I stand on the bar?”Chris laughed. “Go for it. Careful though, wouldn’t want you to fall off,” he said, winking at Yuri.Yuri scrambled onto the bar and pointed at the sad stranger. “This is for you sad hot guy at the bar!” Said “hot guy at the bar” had been quietly watching this drunk man’s shenanigans and blushed beet red when Yuri pointed him out. Yuri whipped around and pointed at Phichit who pressed the play button on the juke box and quickly pulled out his cell phone to capture the train wreck that he was sure was about to happen.The song started and Yuri walked down the bartop and plopped down in front of the stranger, who looked very confused as to what was happening. “I. Can. See you over there, staring at your drink, watching that ice sink, all alone tonight. And, chances are you’re sitting in this bar cause he ain’t gonna treat you right.” “Well, it’s, probably not my place but I’m gonna say it anyway,” Yuri sang, winking at the stranger. “You look likeee, you, haven’t felt the fire, had a little fun, hadn’t had a smile, it a little whileeee.”Yuri slid off the bartop as he continued to sing, grabbing the strangers barstool and turning it while he moved. The stranger laughed as he started slowly spinning.“Bluuuuuue looks good on the sky. Looks good on that neon buzzing on the wall but darling it don’t match your eyesss.”The man laughed even harder as Yuri looked him straight in the eyes. Yuri then drunkenly realized that this man had dazzling icy blue eyes, contrary to what the song said. Yuri had already picked his song though, too late to change now. “I’m telling youuuuu, you don’t need that guy. It’s so black and white, he’s stealing your thunderrrr, baby blueee ain’t your colorrr.” Yuri continued to sing to the man, dancing around him while he serenaded. Phichit kept wolf whistling in the background, but Yuri was only paying attention to the man in front of him. As Yuri sang and twirled him around, the man relaxed considerably and his heart shaped smile grew considerably.After the next chorus, there was a musical intermission and Yuri grabbed the man’s hands and dragged him off his barstool. “Dance with me!” Yuri yelled, twirling the man in a circle. The stranger laughed and moved along with Yuri, spinning around and around to the music. His cheeks were lightly flushed and his icy blue eyes glittered in the bar light. As the instrumental stopped and the chorus came back, Yuri pulled the man towards him and started slowly spinning, “Blueeeee, looks good on the sky, looks good on that neon buzzing on the wall but darling it don’t match your eyes. I’m telling youuuuu, you don’t need that guy. It’s so black and white, he’s stealing your thunderrrr, baby blueee ain’t your color.” As Yuri finished the song, he dipped the man. Phichit whistled and clapped as the jukebox began playing a different song. Yuri pulled the man back up.“Well,” the stranger said. “I didn’t expect a serenade when I came to the bar tonight. That was fun, thank you. You’re a good dancer.”“You should see me when I’m sober,” Yuri countered, causing the other man to laugh.The stranger raised up his hand for a handshake. “I’m Victor, Victor Nikiforov.”“Yuri Katsuki,” Yuri said shaking Victor’s hand.Victor gestured back towards the bar. “Do you want to talk for a while? I don’t want to take you from your friend.”Yuri shook his head. “Phichit’s fineee, he’s got Chris to talk to.” The two sat back at the bar. Victor swirled his drink, which was considerably more watered down than it had been.“So,” Yuri asked, propping his head on his hands. “Why you so sad?”Victor laughed. “Well I’m not anymore, who could be sad after a dance like that?”"You looked so saddddd," Yuri said again. "No one deserves to feel that sad."Victor smiled. "I'm not sure sad is the right word. I'm just a little... lost right now.""Lost?" Yuri prodded."Yeah," Victor sighed. "I just feel a little... stagnant? I've been doing the same thing for the longest time. Now I'm at the top. I worked hard to get here but now it’s... not that hard anymore? The challenge is gone. I can't surprise anyone anymore. I just feel like...I should just let it go, let a new generation take my place.""Do you like what you do?" Yuri asked."I... don't know anymore," Victor replied. "It's all I know. I don't know anything else. But if I left, I don't think I'd be sad.""Hmmmm," Yuri mused. "Sounds like you need a break. Travel the world, do something crazy, do anything else than what you're doing. But mostly," Yuri paused, poking Victor in the chest. "Follow your heart. It'll take you where you need to go."Victor smiled. "That's pretty wise of you Yuri Katsuki.""Again, you should hear me when I'm sober," Yuri said, causing Victor to laugh.The two talked until the bar closed and Phichit came over to drag Yuri home. They waved goodbye to Chris and hopped in Phichit’s car.The next thing Yuri knew, it was the next morning, he was in his bed, he had a hangover, and he had no idea what had happened the night before. He remembered going out with Phichit because he had had a tough day at work, but most of the night was a blur. He sighed, rolling over in his bed and picking up his phone to check the time. It was almost ten, but that wasn’t what was causing his heart to stop in his chest.He had a message.From a stranger.And it was kind of… flirty? Had a fun time last night! Thanks for cheering me up (* ＾ v ＾ *). Hope we can talk some more. Wanna grab coffee sometime? -Victor Yuri stared at his phone for a minute before frantically calling Phichit."Phichit... WHAT DID I DO LAST NIGHT?"
10434030	Wuv Birds	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Magnus Bane, Alec Lightwood, Isabelle Lightwood, Jace Wayland, Simon Lewis, Clary Fray", "Fandom": "Shadowhunters (TV)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by Chiazu", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-25T00:00:00", "words": "395", "Additional Tags": "Fluff, Humor, Teasing, Drabble", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane & Alec Lightwood", "Series": "Chia writes for Tumblr", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	“Awww, look at the wittle wuv birds,” Isabelle said in an annoyingly high pitch voiced “They’re sitting together. How cute is that?” Clary giggled behind her hand on the other side of the room. Magnus really needed to find new place so they could be alone.Whoever spread word about their confessions love to one another was going to pay dearly. Alec tried his best to ignore the way Jace and Isabelle said they were so happy to see them in “wuv”. He really did. But it was really hard. Mostly because Clary and Simon found out, because of course they did, about it too and started saying the same thing.Deep down, really deep down, Alec knew they teased out of love. But on the surface, every time he heard the word wuv Alec had to close his eyes and count to five. Sometimes ten. That’s why when Jace once again walked in on him and Magnus while they were alone and teased about killing the mood again, Alec may or may not have accidentally tripped him and blamed it on one the cats.“Izzy,” Alec said with all the love and softness he could muster, “You’re my sister and I would do anything for you. Anything. But if you ever call us wittle wuv birds again, I’m gonna have to kill you.” Isabelle just laughed at her brother’s empty threat. Even anyone knew how big of softie Alec was it was her. Still, that was not a term of endearment Alec wanted to stick. Even if Magnus thought it was funny and not so secretly encouraged the teasing.“We’re not even sitting next to each.” Alec grumbled quietly under his breath. The smirk on Magnus’s face was more than enough to let Alec know he was once again enjoying the attention they were getting. Knowing Magnus didn’t mind the teasing made it more bearable for Alec; but only slightly more.So when Simon decided that was perfect time to walk in, probably invited by Clary for some reason, and talk about how adorable him and Magnus looked Alec didn’t hesitate to lob the nearest throw pillow at him. You’d think being a vampire would have helped Simon to dodge it, but it didn’t. The pillow hit him square in the face and Alec sat back against the couch, grinning to himself with satisfaction.
10494378	Captured Memories	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "F/F", "Characters": "Clarke Griffin, Lexa (The 100), Raven Reyes, Anya (The 100), Lincoln (The 100), Octavia Blake, Bellamy Blake, Echo (The 100), Finn Collins, Abby Griffin, Costia (The 100)", "Fandom": "The 100 (TV)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Not Rated", "author": "by Ambii", "chapters": "30/?", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-29T00:00:00", "words": "121,475", "Additional Tags": "Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, CEO Lexa (The 100), Photographer Clarke Griffin, Clexa Endgame, Endgame Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Romance, Memory Loss, Eventual Happy Ending, Soulmates, Amnesia, Fluff and Smut, Smut, Love, Flashbacks, Pregnant Clarke, Anya & Lexa (The 100) Are Siblings, Parents Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Emotional Sex", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Clarke Griffin & Lexa, Anya/Raven Reyes, Octavia Blake/Lincoln, Bellamy Blake/Echo", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Two little pink lines.Clarke had waited for this moment for months.Her heart bounced with joy as she stared at the positive pregnancy test in her hands. A little after a year of marrying her one true love, Lexa, they had finally decided it was time to start growing their little family. And, now it was finally happening. A joyous squeal came from Clarke’s lips as she grabbed ahold of her phone sitting on the bathroom counter and quickly dialed Lexa’s number. Clarke tapped her foot impatiently as she waited for Lexa to answer the phone. “Hey, babe. I’m on my way home now. I’m about twenty minutes away. I’ve got us some wine and I thought we’d have a nice relaxing dinner at home and-,” Clarke quickly cut Lexa off before she could speak any more. “It’s positive, Lex!” “What’s positive?” “The pregnancy test! I’m pregnant! We’re going to be mothers!” Clarke squealed happily into the phone.Clarke could hear the loud gasp that left Lexa’s lips,“Are you serious right now, Clarke?”“Dead serious! We’re going to have a baby!” “Holy shit, babe! Oh my god,Clarke, I can’t even process this right now! I guess we’ll have to find something other than wine to celebrate with!” “I’m sure we can think of something, Lexa,” Clarke whispered huskily into the phone. “God don’t speak with that voice, Clarke. You know what it does to me.” “Yes, I do. Now get home so I can cuddle you with this little one sitting in my belly.”Clarke softly caressed her flat abdomen as she smiled down at it lovingly,“Okay, okay. I’m almost there. About another fifteen minutes.”“Okay, I’ll see you at home. Be safe.”“I will. I love you, Clarke. We’re going to have a baby!” Lexa shouted out into the phone.“I love you, too, Lexa. And we are! It’s finally happening!” “Bye, babe. I’ll be home soon.” “Bye, Lex.”Clarke sat the phone back onto the bathroom counter before glancing up and staring at herself in the mirror. She turned to the side and slowly lifted her shirt up and gazed through the mirror at her stomach. Visions of her stomach swollen with her and Lexa’s unborn child swam through her mind. Lexa placing a soothing kiss where their baby just kicked her stomach.Warmth spread through Clarke’s chest as she imagined Lexa’s hands ghosting over the flesh where their unborn rested. The thought of being able to raise a child with the woman she loved had tears springing up in her eyes which she quickly wiped away.“Stupid pregnancy hormones. They’re already bad,” Clarke mumbled quietly to herself.With one last loving gaze to her stomach Clarke marched out of the bathroom and towards the kitchen to prepare dinner. The smile on Clarke’s face widened greatly as she walked down the long hallway of their home. Dozens of framed pictures lined the cream colored walls of the hallway and every time Clarke walked through she couldn’t help but smile.Photography had always been a passion of Clarke’s. Being able to permanently capture any living memory was Clarke’s dream ever since she picked up her first camera. Not long after capturing her first image Clarke had set her mind into going to college for photography. Now, here she was, three years after graduating, owning one of the most popular family photography studios in the city. She loved capturing special moments for the many different clients she met on day-to-day bases, but they were nothing compared to the images of her and Lexa.Pictures from their wedding, Lexa at the summer fair, both of them sitting happily as they stared out into the Pacific ocean. The list was endless. Ever since she first stared dating Lexa she could never get enough of the brunette’s beautiful smile. Every tiny smile, smirk, and giggle that formed over Lexa’s lips made Clarke’s finger itch to hit the shutter button. And so far she had managed to capture about a million of them.Figuring she had stared at the pictures long enough Clarke continued her journey down the hallway before walking through the threshold of the kitchen. Clarke’s bare feet padded over to the fridge and open it to rifle through it’s contents as she thought about what to make for dinner. Deciding on the quick option of spaghetti Clarke gabbed the pack of ground meat before shutting the fridge and raiding that kitchen cabinets for the rest of the necessary ingredients.Clarke was busy stirring a pot of spaghetti sauce when she heard someone knocking on her front door. Furrowing her eyebrows in confusion Clarke quickly turned the heat on the stove down before making her way out the kitchen and towards her front door. Figuring that it was Lexa, who more times than not forgot her key, Clarke didn’t hesitate to swing the door open with a smirk.“Did you really forget your key aga—,” Clarke halted in her words as two police officers stood before her.“Sorry to bother you ma’am, but do you know a Lexa Woods?”Clarke felt the goosebumps form along her arms as the officer spoke,“She’s my wife. Why? What happened to Lexa?”“Your wife has been in an accident. I think it would be best if you came down to the hospital with us.”All feeling left Clarke’s legs and the only thing that saved her from hitting the ground was one of the officers quick reflex as he caught her. He slowly lowered her to the ground as a sob escaped her throat. Clarke placed a hand over her mouth to try and stifle the racking sobs as she gripped tightly onto the front of the man’s uniform. This couldn’t be happening. She had just spoken to Lexa. Heard her shout out in merriment at her news. And now she was probably laying in a hospital bed, unconscious…or worse.Clarke took in a stuttering breath as the officer asked her if she was okay,“I’m fine for now, just please take me to my wife.”Both officers nodded before helping Clarke to her feet and allowing her to run inside to grab a few things and a pair of shoes before leading her out the door and over to their patrol car. Clarke watched mindlessly out the window as their suburban neighborhood quickly gave way to the bustling city as they drove towards the hospital. Before long the car pulled to a stop in front of the ER entrance and Clarke vaguely register one of the officers opening her door and holding a hand out to help her step out the car.The officers lead her to the front desk of the ER and it took everything in Clarke’s being not to break down as everything suddenly flew into reality. She was actually here. Lexa was somewhere in this hospital laying in a bed and waiting for her. Clarke’s hands began to shake and she grabbed ahold of the desk in order to steady herself as she looked at the receptionist.“I need to see Lexa Woods please.”“Are you immediate family?” The woman asked after she had pulled up Lexa’s file.“I’m her wife, Clarke Woods.” The woman nodded before picking up the phone next to the computer and dialing a number. “Just a moment,” she said as she lifted the phone to her ear.Clarke waited impatiently as the young woman spoke to someone about her arrival before giving a few words of understanding and hanging up the phone. The woman looked at Clarke with solemn eyes before standing and gesturing towards a long hallway while she stepped around the desk.“If you would follow me this way. The doctor would like to speak with you in a family consult room.”Clarke thanked the two officers gratefully before following the receptionist through the hospital. They rounded a short corner before they stopped at a lone wooden door with a placard next to the door with ‘Family Consult’ in white lettering on the front. Clarke’s heart sank as the woman opened the door and allowed Clarke to walk in first and take a seat on one of the many chairs that were in the room.“The doctor will be in shortly. Is there anything I can get you? Water, tea, coffee?”Clarke shook her head,“No, thank you. I’m okay right now.”The woman nodded before making her way out of the room and closing the door behind her. As the door clicked shut Clarke could no longer contain the sobs that ached to escape her chest. Tears flowed down her cheeks as she took in gasping breaths to try and calm her racing heart. Clarke quickly swiped a few tissues from a box laying on the table next to her chair and began to wipe away the tear streaks.As she finally got her breathing under control and dabbed her eyes a few more times a soft knock came from the door causing her to straighten up and glance at the door. A middle aged man with short cropped black hair passed through the door before shutting it quietly behind him and greeting Clarke with a warm hand shake.“Hi, Mrs. Woods. I’m Dr. Williams. I was the doctor on duty when your wife was brought in.”Clarke released his hand as he took a seat next to her,“It’s nice to meet you. How is Lexa? Is she okay? What happened?”“She’s stable for now. She was driving down the highway when a drunk driver swerved into her lane and hit her head on. Lexa has a fractured arm as well a few broken ribs. She’s also got a severe concussion but we won’t know the extent of damage until she wakes up, but other than that she’s fine. She’s quite lucky.”“What do you mean by ‘extent of damage’?”The doctor pursed his lips for a moment before locking eyes with Clarke’s,“With head injuries there comes many obstacles, but the one we are most concerned with right now is memory loss.”“Memory loss? How bad can it get?” Clarke felt her heart race increase.“She could just forget anything that happened today…or she could forget everything. It’s tough to tell in these situations.”Clarke’s mind raced as she processed the doctor’s words. No. Lexa couldn’t forget her. They’ve been together since freshman year of college. They were married. They had a child on the way. She couldn’t forget. Not now.“No. No, she can’t forget me. She can’t forget us. She can’t forget the baby!” Clarke sobbed out hysterically.Dr. Williams cautiously put a hand on Clarke’s shoulder in an attempt to calm her down,“Nothing is certain until she wakes up, Mrs. Woods. She could forget a few things or she could still remember everything. But no matter the outcome we will do everything we can to help your wife.”“Okay, I just…I can’t lose her. I need her know more than ever,” Clarke whispered quietly as she rested her head in her hand while the other traveled down to her stomach where she little one rested.“You’re pregnant, Mrs. Woods?”Clarke nodded sadly before sitting up and brushing a few stray tears from her eyes,“Yes. I actually just found out today. I called Lexa and told her. She was on her way home from work when I called. Everything was perfect and then…this happens.”A bout of fresh tears broke from Clarke’s eyes as Dr. Williams patted her shoulder,“Okay, with everything that’s going on and the stress that you're being put under I suggest we get you an ultrasound to check on the little one and get you some food. How does that sound?”“I want to see Lexa first, if I can.”“Sure. She’s still unconscious at the moment but you can see her. You can follow me.”Dr. Williams gripped Clarke’s arm gently as he helped her to her feet below letting go and walking over to the door and opening it for her to walk through. Once they were both out of the room the middle aged doctor began ushering Clarke down a series of hallway’s before they came to a set of double doors. Above the doors, in blue lettering read ‘Trauma Center’. Clarke stared at the words for a moment before continuing to follow Dr. Williams down another hallway.As they passed a few rooms Clarke kept getting glimpses of patients laying in hospital beds hooked up to dozens of different machines while their loved ones sat next to them holding their hand, desperately waiting for them to awaken. Clarke’s heart squeezed painfully as she realized she was about to be doing the same thing. Holding Lexa’s hand as she waited for those emerald eyes that held so much life to open up and stare at her once again.Dr. Williams suddenly stopped in front of a closed door before turning to face Clarke,“This is your wife’s room. I’ll give you a few moments alone, but I’ll stay right out here if you need me.”Clarke nodded her head thankfully before slowly grasping the door handle and pushing her way inside. The sight before her almost made her knees buckle and caused fresh tears to stream down her cheeks. Walking over to the bed Clarke’s eyes ran over the motionless body of her wife. Lexa laid in the bed, pale as a ghost, with different wires and tubes coming out from what seemed like her entire body. White gauze was wrapped around her head with a patch of blood beginning to seep through right above her left temple.Clarke grabbed ahold of Lexa’s hand and gently ran her other hand along Lexa’s pale cheek,“Oh, Lexa. I need you to wake up. We need you to wake up.”Clarke placed Lexa’s limp hand against her belly and held it there as she stared down at her.“You can’t forget us. I won’t let you. You’ll get better and we’ll raise this baby together. He or she will be so loved and you’ll be an amazing mother.”Clarke paused momentarily as if waiting for her to respond. When nothing happened she continued to speak.“I know you, Lex. You’re a fighter. So stubborn. You won’t let something like this keep you down, I know it. Just, come back to me. To us.”Clarke leaned down and placed a feather soft kiss to Lexa’s lips and lingered there for a moment before pulling away. As she moved a stray hair behind Lexa’s ear a soft knocking had her turning around to see Dr. Williams standing in the door way with a tray of food.“I’m sorry to interrupt, but I’d figure you’d rather eat in here than the cafeteria. I had a nurse bring this down.”Clarke quickly composed herself before walking over and taking the tray from the man,“Thank you. I really appreciate it.”“No problem. You’ve got more than just yourself to feed now, Mrs. Woods. Remember that,” That was all the man said before taking his leave.Clarke set the tray down on the table in the corner of the room before sitting down in the chair next to it and taking a look over the food. She didn’t particularly care for hospital food but Dr. Williams was right. She had more than just herself to worry about now. Clarke picked up the fork sitting next to the plate and began to eat, all the while watching Lexa and listening to the steady beep of the heart monitor.About thirty minutes had passed before another knock at the door signaled someone about to enter the room. Clarke looked up from her place by Lexa’s bedside to see Dr. Williams along with a female nurse with dirty blonde hair. Both gave her a small smile before walking a little further into the room.“Mrs. Woods, this is Niylah. She’ll be conducting the ultrasound for you. Is now a good time or do you still need a few more mintues?”Clarke looked back down at Lexa for a moment before glancing back up between the two and shaking her head,“No, now’s a good time. It’s nice to meet you Niylah.”Niylah extended her hand for Clarke to shake before giving her another warm smile,“Likewise, Mrs. Woods.”“Okay, I’ll escort you both to the ultrasound room so we can check on your baby and get you back to your wife,” Dr. Williams said as he held the door open for both of them to walk through.Clarke followed them down a few hallways and through the ER until the sight of one of the police officers who had driven her here caught her attention. He stood in front of one of the many rooms in the hallway and when Clarke glanced inside the open door she could see a man with shaggy brown hair swaying slightly as he sat on the edge of the bed. What caught Clarke’s attention the most was the hand cuffs that kept him chained to the bed like a criminal.Fury suddenly blossomed in Clarke’s chest as she realized just who this man possibly was. The way he swayed in his seat. The odor of cheap beer that all but spill out of the room. This man was the one that almost took Lexa from her. That almost took everything from her. Before Clarke could stop herself she was barreling towards the man with tear clouded eyes.“You did this to her?! You almost killed my wife because you were too stupid to call yourself a cab and instead decided to drive drunk?!”By time the first sentence left Clarke’s mouth the officer and Dr. Williams were trying to hold her back as she struggled against them. The man just stared at her with shocked eyes as he sat on the bed.“You almost deprived an unborn child of it’s mother! What the hell were thinking?! I could have lost her! She may not even remember me, us, because of your stupid mistake!”Clarke felt all the fight begin to drain out of her as she dropped helplessly into Dr. Williams hold and clung to his scrub shirt. Agonizing sobs racked through Clarke’s body as she finally let loose the pent-up emotions that she had held in since getting the news of Lexa’s accident. She could feel Dr. Williams hands Ran along her back as he tried to calm her down which only seems to make her cries louder.“I can’t do this. I need her with me.”That’s all Clarke could say as she sat on the floor clutching onto Dr. Williams chest. The tears didn’t seem to stop, and they only flowed harder as she opened her eyes to see the man still sitting in the same potion, no emotion in his eyes as he stared her down. The painful squeezing in Clark’s chest tightened as a new round of tears spilled over her ocean blue eyes.This man, who didn’t deserve to be called one in the first place, didn’t even seem fazed that he had almost killed someone. Almost killed someone’s mother. Someone’s wife. And the only thought that floated through Clarke’s mind in that moment was that she wasn’t going to let this man ruin the best thing that ever happened to her. She was going to fix this. Make it better. She wasn’t going to allow Lexa to forget her. Not if she had anything to say about it. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “And there’s your little one.”After Clarke was able to be consoled enough by Dr. Williams she was able to get up from her position on the floor and continue walking towards the ultrasound room, but not without one last glance over her shoulder to catch a glimpse of the drunken man. The rest of the walk to the room Clarke had to constantly rub at the salty tears that threatened to spill over as the entire ordeal played over in her head.After arriving to the dimly lit room Dr. Williams informed her that he had a few patients to check over and that as soon as she was done with the ultrasound he would see her back in Lexa’s room to go into more detail about her wife’s condition. That officially left herself and Niylah in the room. Niylah had instructed her to lay flat on the bed and pull her shirt from her stomach. Clarke’s body had relaxed slightly at the surprisingly warm gel. When the blonde woman had placed the scope on her abdomen the only thing she could see on the screen was black and white fuzz.But looking at it now, it took her breath away. There, a little black void and a small white dot, that almost resembled a bean to Clarke was shown on the screen. She didn’t even attempt to hold the flood of tears as she stared longingly at the screen. Her baby. Their baby.“It looks like a little bean,” Clarke laughed through her tears.“That’s a unique description, but yes, it does.”Niylah smiled at her before grabbing a few tissues off the counter next to her and handing them to Clarke. She smiled thankfully before taking them and clearing her eyes of any tears. Sniffling slightly, Clarke’s eyes bounced back to the screen. Her heart fluttered in anticipation at what the future held. Being able to see her tummy swell as the little one inside her grew each day until it was ready to enter the world. To see he or she sleep peacefully in their crib as she and Lexa stared down lovingly at them. So much was in store for them and she couldn’t wait until she could finally hold her precious child in her arms.“Well, Mrs. Woods, everything looks fine. Baby is healthy and has a strong heartbeat. I’m going to recommend you see an obstetrician soon, just to be safe. Maybe in the next week or so, and that way we can get you started on some prenatal vitamins. But for now, the baby is strong and healthy. So, why don’t we go ahead and get a few pictures taken so you can show your wife your beautiful baby when she wakes up,” Niylah said as she continued to move the scope around and hit a few buttons.“I’d like that.”It was the only words that Clarke could form in that moment. The magical moment of seeing her child on the screen for the first time ever had her heart soaring with love. While in the same moment it squeezed painfully as she remember Lexa laid unconscious in a hospital bed on the other side of the large building. As Clarke watched Niylah print a few pictures her only thoughts were that she wan’t going to give up on Lexa. If she woke up and really didn’t remember Clarke then she was going to do everything she could possibly do to help her remember.If not for her, then for their child.As Clarke walked down the hallway she continued to stare down at the pictures in her hand. She ran her fingers lightly over the small white circle that was shown in the center of the black void. Clarke wasn’t even able to see the perfect shape of the baby but in her mind, he or she was perfect. Completely perfect.“My little bean,” Clarke mumbled quietly to herself.As she rounded the corner to the hallway that housed Lexa’s room Clarke placed the pictures into her purse. With a slight bounce in her step she quickly diminished the distance between herself and Lexa’s room and didn’t think twice before pushing through the cracked door. The moment she entered the room all thought left her mind as she froze in place.Dr. Williams stood with a somber expression at the end of the hospital bed along with a nurse who’s head whipped around when she entered the room. But the only thing that Clarke could lay her sights on were the shimmering emerald eyes that locked with hers. All the air left her lungs as she quickly crossed the small distance from the door to the bed and pulled Lexa into her arms.Her hands tangled in the brunette curls that laid at the nape of her neck as a relieved sob slipped from her throat,“I can’t believe you’re awake already. Oh my god.”Clarke could barely form any words as she breathed in the scent of her wife’s floral perfume. They stayed like that for a few more moments before she felt Lexa’s hands trying to pry her arms away from her neck. Retracting her arms Clarke cupped Lexa’s cheeks and allowed their gazes to lock on one another. Emerald clashed with ocean blue orbs and Clarke could feel a sinking feeling in her gut as she noticed the confusion swirling around in Lexa’s eyes.“You remember who I am, right Lexa?”Lexa stared at her for a moment before slowly shaking her head,“I’m sorry, I don’t. Should…should I?”The cracks that had formed in Clarke’s heart from the news of Lexa’s accident grew ten times greater as the words left Lexa’s lips. Her hands dropped from Lexa’s cheeks before straightening herself up and turning to face Dr. Williams, who still stood with the same somber expression as when she had walked in the room.“So she remembers nothing?” The tears that formed in her eyes were inevitable.Dr. Williams held a hand out and ushered her away from the bed to the far side of the room before speaking,“She remembers up to a certain point in her life. The impact from the accident damaged part of her limbic system, which controls her emotions and memories.”“Is it permanent? Can she regain her memories? I mean, is there anything you can do for her?”“The damage doesn’t appear to be permanent. As for her memory, she could regain all of them overtime…or she could never regain them. Brain injuries can be unpredictable.”Clarke rubbed a hand across her forehead to try and ease the oncoming headache as well as to try and hide the new onset of tears that leaked from the corners of her eyes. She felt a hand being placed on her shoulder and looked up to see Dr. Williams giving her a tiny smile.“Everything is going to be okay, Mrs. Woods. You’re wife is safe and alive. She may not remember anything right now but there is still the possibility that, overtime, some things may come back to her. Is there maybe a possible relative like a parent or a sibling that could visit? That may help jog her memory a bit.”Clarke nodded her head,“Her parents are gone but she has an older sister, Anya. I really should have called her as soon as I got the news.”“You were emotionally distressed. Most of us tend to forget things when put into situations like this. Why don’t you give her a call and get her down here and we’ll go from there. Just her for now though. I don’t want to overwhelm her since she’s just woken up.”“I’ll go call her right now.”Clarke took one last look at Lexa, who was busy talking to the nurse that was currently changing the bandage around her head, before stepping outside into the hallway. Pulling out her phone Clarke quickly found Anya’s number and hit dial. Her blood pumped nervously through her veins as she tried to figure out just how she was going to explain this to Anya over the phone. She wasn’t given much time because the sudden sound of a roughed voice Anya came through the phone.“This better be good, Clarke.”Clarke hesitated momentarily before the words stuttered out her mouth,“I, uh, I need you to come down to the hospital. It’s about Lexa.”“Why? What happened to my sister?”“There was an accident. She was hit head on by a drunk driver. She’s stable and she’s actually awake right now but there’s something else. Something I’d rather not tell you over the phone.”Clarke could hear what sounded like the rustling of clothes coming from Anya’s end of the line,“Yeah, I’m on my way. I’ll be there in ten.”“Okay, I’ll see you then.”“Clarke, are you okay? You just sound off.”“I’m fine,” Clarke said, praying that Anya didn’t hear the small crack in her voice.“As much as I don’t believe that I’m just going to drop it for now. I’ll be over there in a few. I’m getting in my car now.”“I’ll see you soon, then. Bye.”“Bye, Clarke.”Clarke pulled the phone away from her ear and hitting the ‘end’ button before shoving the phone back in her pocket and walking back into the room. Dr. Williams stood next to Lexa’s bed and seemed to be asking a serious of questions when he noticed her walk in.“Well, your early memories are still in tact. You can remember you name, birthdate, as well as a few other things. I guess that’s good enough for the night. We’ll let you get some rest and we’ll check on you in a few hours,” The man gave a firm shake to Lexa’s hand before following the nurse towards the door only to stop when he came into arms length of Clarke.“Her still having her earliest memories is a good sign. Like I said earlier, she only remembers up to a certain point but only she knows what that point is. Maybe tomorrow we can try talking about the last thing she remembers and maybe you can help guide her along from there. We don’t want to force anything on her so we’re going to take it slow the first couple of days. We’ll keep an eye on her tonight and probably keep her in here a few more days and then we’ll go over her discharge.”Clarke nodded softly,“Of course. I want nothing more than to help her remember. Thank you, really. For everything you and your team has done to help my wife.”“No problem, Mrs. Woods,” Dr. Williams moved passed her to the door only to stop and call out softly to Clarke,“And remember what I said before, it’s not just you anymore. You need to focus on yourself as well. I don’t want to see you in my ER from stress or anything else. It’s not good for the baby.”“I will. I promise.”As Dr. Williams left the room Clarke didn’t notice her hand subconsciously drop against her lower belly to gently rub where their unborn child lay. Peering up, Clarke noticed Lexa staring at her before she suddenly turned her gaze away, and she could barely make out the small blush that spread across her cheeks. Making her way across the room Clarke took a seat in the chair next to Lexa’s bed and awkwardly sat in silence for a few moments.Clarke pursed her lips as she glanced up at Lexa to see her still looking the other way,“Lexa…I know you said you don’t remember me so how about I start with telling you my name.”“I’m not sure if it’ll help anything but go ahead,” Lexa said as she turned curious eyes onto her.“I’m Clarke Griffin…well Woods now, since I married you.”Lexa’s eyes widened in horror as the words flowed from her lips. Oops. Maybe that wasn’t the best way to start things.“Wait, you’re saying I married you? You? I don’t do marriage. I hate marriage.”Despite the small twinge of pain in her heart at the jab from Lexa, Clarke couldn’t help the small chuckle that formed in her throat,“You always told me that when we were in college, and then suddenly one night you were down on one knee proposing to me. It was kind of a shocker to both of us I think.”A small ‘v’ had formed between Lexa’s eyebrows as Clarke continued to speak.“I’m sorry, but I remember none of that. I don’t remember you. I can’t remember anything since—,” Lexa was quickly cut off as the door to her room swung open.Clarke’s head whipped back to see Anya standing in the doorway, eyes darting between her and Lexa. The oldest Woods sister quickly closed the door before making her way over Lexa and pulling her into a bear hug. Clarke felt something similar to the feeling of jealousy when her wife didn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around Anya. A sigh escaped Clarke’s lips as she shifted slightly in her seat to avoid staring at the hugging sisters.“Who the hell did this to you, Lex? Where’s the fucker that did this to you?” Anya seethed as she pulled away from the hug.“Calm down, Anya. I literally just woke up and apparently don’t even remember the past few years of my life and all you’re worried about is who did this to me?”“Yes, I mean…,” Anya’s words trailed off as she registered Lexa’s words,“What the hell do you mean you don’t remember the past few years of you life? How much do you remember?”“I mean as in I don't remember. How hard is that to comprehend? I only remember up to that night with Costia. You remember, that night my freshman year of college I ended up at that frat party after I got back to town. God, are you sure that wasn’t last night? It seriously feels like it.”As Lexa pulled herself into her own mind to get a handle on her thoughts Anya had turned around to look at Clarke. At the mention of Costia’s name Clarke became stiff as a rock. She remembered Lexa mentioning the horrible woman. How she had broken her heart and left it on the floor for her to pick up without so much as a ‘sorry’. She knew the night that Lexa was talking about. She cherished that night. Almost more than anything.That night was something special to both of them. The night they had first met. First felt that unmistakable attraction that pulled them together like magnets. And it was all thanks to Costia. Flashback Clarke walked around the large college campus through the rain, camera in hand, as she searched for the perfect photo op. The rain mixed together with the dim street lamps made the perfect setting for the perfect picture. The way the rain glistened under the golden glow of the lamps casting dark shadows upon the puddle filled sidewalk. Trees rustling loudly as the wind rolled through them, sending leaves to drift along the open space above the sidewalk. Clarke quickly snapped a picture before glancing down at the screen with a small smile. As she stared at the picture a moment longer the heavy drizzle suddenly became a pour and in that moment Clarke thanked god her camera was water proof. Pulling the hood of her rain coat up she quickly began running through the rain and decided to take a short cut through the courtyard in the center of the campus. As she came upon the large fountain that sat in the center of the courtyard she saw a small form leaning against it. She slowed down in her run before coming to a full stop as she took in the soak brunette in front of her. “You’ll catch a cold if you stay out in this rain much longer,” Clarke said loudly over the rain. When the woman made no move or didn’t acknowledge her presence Clarke walked the few feet between them and stood cautiously within arms length of the brunette. At the sudden intrusion of space the woman’s head snapped up and locked eyes with her. Clarke felt her breath catch in her throat as she became mesmerized by the greenest eyes she head ever seen. It was then that Clarke noticed the tear stains that were surprisingly easy to spot through the rain that poured from above. She could see the sadness, hurt, and betrayal that came from those emerald eyes and felt her heart pinch painfully. She didn’t know this woman. Didn’t know her name. Hell, she didn’t even know if she went to this school. But for some reason she couldn’t shake the magnetic pull that made Clarke want to wrap her arms around the brunette and whisper comforting words into her ear as she stroked her hair. “Are you okay? You shouldn’t be out in the rain like this,” Clarke quickly placed her camera on the ledge of the fountain before pulling off her jacket and draping it across her shoulders. “I can’t take this. You’ll get soaked.” Clarke smiled softly at the woman and pulled the jacket around her tighter,“I think you could use it more than me right now. Besides, my dorm room isn’t far from here. I’ll be in dry clothes in no time. You, on the other hand, I’m not sure if you even go here so you might be out in the rain longer than me. You’ll need this more.” “Still, it’s your jacket. I can’t just take it from you. I’ll be fine until I get home. It was kind of you though,” The woman moved to pull the jacket off but Clarke quickly slapped her hands away causing a bewildered look to pass over her face. “The only way you’re going to take that jacket off is if you come to my dorm room and get some dry clothes on and let me give you a ride, in a dry car, to wherever you’re staying.” Clarke didn’t let the woman decide before she grabbed her camera and her hand. She began pulling them through the rain and towards the entrance to the building that housed Clarke’s dorm room. Finally reaching the overhang Clarke stopped walking and trying to wipe away the rain from her face and hair with a laugh. As she wrung her hair out she turned slightly to see the woman gazing around them with a somber expression. “I’m Clarke Griffin by the way. You are?” “Lexa Woods,” Lexa said as she turned her head to Clarke. “It’s nice to meet you. Well, I guess we technically met back at the fountain, but what does it matter? Do you go here by chance?” Lexa nodded her head,“Yeah. I’m studying business management and administration. You?” “Photography. I’ll be opening my own studio one day,” Clarke said as she waved the camera that she held in her hand. A small smile appeared on Lexa’s face,“Sounds interesting. Is that what you were doing out here in the rain? Taking pictures?” “Yes, I don’t have a picture with rain so I figured tonight would be a good night. Besides, I’m kind of glad I did.” “And why’s that?” “Because I met you,” Clarke said before she bit her lip and looked down at her feet. Clarke heard Lexa laugh a little before she looked up to met the brunette’s eyes,“Of course. Because I was such a welcoming face. Sitting in the rain, crying and all.” “Speaking of, are you okay? Did something happen?” Clarke finally began to lead them into the building as she waited for Lexa to reply. “It’s a long story. Bunch of details and quite the mess.” “Well, we’ve got a small walk to my dorm.Think that’s enough time? That’s if you want to talk about it, of course.” Clarke peered over to where Lexa walked next to her in the hallway to see her staring down at her feet, expressionless mask back in place. They walked a few more minutes in silence before they finally reached the elevator that would take them to Clarke’s dorm on the third floor. When the doors shut Clarke couldn’t help but glance at Lexa’s blurred reflection in the metal doors. “It was my girlfriend. She cheated on me.” Clarke whipped her head to the side and saw Lexa fumbling with her hands as she tried to conjure the right words in her head. She decided to stay silent so the brunette beside her could choose whether she wanted to continue or not. “I went out of town for the weekend and ended up coming back a day earlier than planned. My sister, Anya, is a senior and ended up at some frat party and when I called her she said that Costia, my girlfriend, was there. Since I had nothing better planned I decided to surprise her at the party. I got there and found Anya almost completely drunk and she had no clue where Costia had gone.” Lexa paused for a moment as they finally reached Clarke’s floor and the metal doors opened to allow them to step out into the hallway. They both set a leisurely pace, neither in a rush to get to their destination. “I searched the first floor of the house and ended up finding her jacket thrown across some floor lamp in the corner of one of the rooms. That automatically set me off that something was wrong. I decided to check upstairs, walked into a few make out session on accident until I reached the last room. I heard…noises. Noises that I prayed weren’t coming from her, but I knew that voice. I opened the door and saw her fucking some guy that lived in the frat house. When she realized someone opened the door and turned around to see me, she didn’t even have an ounce of gilt in her eyes.” Clarke came to a stop right before her door and leaned against the wall next to it as she continued to listen to Lexa’s story. “She got off the guy and told him not to move before walking over to me. She just stared at me as I looked at her in disbelief. And before I could even form any thoughts she was giving me this smirk, like she was pleased that I had walked in on them. Her exact words to me in that moment were “You’re always too hung up on work and school and never pay attention to me. It’s about damn time I found someone who’s able to give me the pleasure you never would. I hope you have fun with work and school because it seems that’s the only thing good enough for your stuck up ass. Have a nice life.’ She shut the door in my face and all I could do was stand there. Next thing I knew the noises were back and I was running through the house and out into the rain. I ended up at the fountain and then you found me. And here we are.” Lexa raised her hands and gestured to the space between them. Clarke let Lexa collect herself for a moment as she looked her over, sympathy sitting in her heart. “Wow. What a bitch. Sorry, but that’s messed up. We’re you dating her long?” “We met in high school. We started dating the end of our sophomore year. It’s been a little over three years. I thought she was the love of my life, being my heart school sweet heart and all. Guess I was wrong,” Lexa shrugged her shoulders as she leaned back against the wall next to Clarke. “Well, it’s her loss. You seem like someone who treats her girlfriend like a princess. And if I were her, I wouldn’t have done something like that to you. No one deserves that, well maybe besides her now. Karma is a bitch.” That caused a chuckle to rise from both women and when their laughter died down they locked eyes. Clarke searched Lexa’s emerald orbs for a moment before pushing off the wall and fishing her keys out of her pocket. “As much as I love standing in the hallway with you I’m pretty sure the cleaning staff isn’t going to appreciate the water puddles we just left next to my door.” Another laugh sounded from Lexa as Clarke unlocked her door and pushed inside her dorm. Clarke held the door open for Lexa and quietly shut it behind her before turning around hitting the light switch and glancing at Lexa’s back. As the brunette walked around the room Clarke grabbed two t-shirts and two pair of pants from her closet. Clarke walked over to where Lexa was currently looking at a small painting of a beautiful sunset that she had hung up above her desk and handed her the clothes. “Did you paint this?” “Yeah, I actually did that while I was in Mexico with my family for vacation about four years ago. We had a balcony at the place we were staying at and I ended up waking up super early one morning and just decided to paint. It’s one of my favorite paintings out of all the ones I have at home.” “It’s beautiful. How defined the details are and the way you blended the colors. It’s so realistic,” Lexa said as she pulled her eyes away from the painting. “Thanks. It wasn’t too hard. Um, if you wanna go ahead and change the bathroom is right there. There’s towels in the closet.” Lexa disappeared through the door that Clarke had pointed to leaving the blonde alone in her room. Clarke quickly stripped herself of her clothing and grabbed the towel that was hanging on the hook next to her closet and dried herself off. She grabbed the pants and eased them over her hips and buttoning them before reaching for her shirt. Right as she pulled the shirt over her head she could hear the bathroom door open up and quickly pulled the shirt the rest of the way down. Clarke turned around to see Lexa looking at everything but her with a small blush on her cheeks,“Sorry. I didn’t know you were going to change out here.” “It’s fine. My back was to you so it’s not like you saw anything,” Clarke said with a small smile. Lexa nodded before she shifted around on her feet, wet clothes in her hands. “Oh here,” Clarke grabbed a plastic bag from her desk drawer and handed it to Lexa,“You can put your clothes in this. That way you don’t have to carry them and risk getting wet again.” “Thanks.” Lexa took the bag from Clarke and stuffed her wet clothes inside before tying it shut. Both women stood in awkward silence for a moment before Clarke let out a small sigh. “Well, I guess we should get you home. Are your shoes okay or did you wanna borrow some?” “No, these are fine. I’m already taking your clothes. I don’t want to take your shoes too.” Clarke laughed as she pulled a pair of shoes from her closet,“Trust me, it’s no big deal. I have more shoes than I know what to do with.” Before Lexa had time to respond everything around them suddenly turned pitch black. Clarke let out a little yelp as she suddenly became lost in her room, not even able to see her hand in front of her face. She felt along the wall of her room and tried to grasp her mind around where she currently stood. “Lexa? Where are you?” “Over here. Hold on and I’ll bring up the flash light on my phone.” Clarke waited quietly until the bright light of Lexa’s cell phone blinked to life and illuminated the dark room. She let out a sigh of relief to finally be able to see again and glanced over towards the window on the far side of her dorm. The rain had picked up tremendously and now came down in a hazardous fashion. One that was definitely not safe to drive in. And if the way the trees rocked around outside were anything to go by, the wind had picked up significantly. “It actually looks like you’ll be staying here for the night. There’s no way we can drive in this weather and there’s no way I’m going to let you walk home. My roommate never stays here so we’ve pretty much got the place to ourselves.” Clarke watched as Lexa peered out the window with a deep frown before shifting back and looking at her with sheepish eyes,“I’m so sorry. I’m intruding on you. I don’t even know you that much and you’re letting me borrow your clothes and you offered to take me home and now your opening your dorm to me. I can’t. It’s not big deal. I can call a cab.” “Lexa, you really think any cabs are gonna be out in this weather at this time of night? You’re staying here and that’s final. It’s no problem. Just as long as you don’t try to murder me in my sleep or take advantage of me,” Clarke said as she winked playfully in Lexa’s direction. “Fine. I hope you have some candles though. My phone is about to die.” Clarke walked over to her bedside table and pulled open the bottom drawer and pulled out a few candles she had stashed in the corner. She grabbed her lighter and lit the candles. Once the room was lit in a flickering golden glow Lexa turned off her phone’s flashlight and stuck it back in her pocket. Setting the lighter back into the drawer Clarke shut it before hopping up onto her bed and patting the spot next to her in invitation to Lexa. The brunette placed the bag of wet clothes on the floor next to the bed before jumping up and sitting next to Clarke. For the next few hours, as the storm raged outside, Clarke and Lexa found themselves talking about every and any little thing. Little details about their lives that some people knew and some didn’t. Laughs were shared and shocked gasps filled the quiet space as they told story after story. Before long the rain had come to a stop and the faint glow of the sun ran across the horizon, but what mattered in that moment was not the beauty that laid outside but what laid inside. Two women, laid in the same bed side by side, unbeknownst to the special bond that was already beginning to form and connect their souls. E nd of Flashback That night Clarke wasn’t sure if she wanted to punch Costia or thank her for basically pushing Lexa into her life. That night they had shared so many things and became instantly close. They instantly bonded. A special type of bond that Clarke had never shared with anyone else. But now, she was benign to question whether or not she was going to be able to get that bond back.“What’s the very last detail that you remember from that night?” Anya urged to Lexa.“I had just called you and you were at the frat party. You told me Costia was there and I wanted to surprise her. Last thing I remember is me walking into the house. Then nothing.”Clarke snorted. Of course the universe would do this to them. Like they hadn’t already been through enough. Of course Lexa would remember everything up until the horrible incident with Costia that had broken Lexa’s heart…and lead Lexa to her. If only she could push Lexa’s mind forward a bit. To at least make her remember meeting her, if not anything else.“Where is Costia, anyway? Have we kept in touch? I mean, I know you said were married, which is still strange to me, but I would like to think I at least talk to her once in a while,” Lexa said as she threw a glance in Clarke’s direction.Anya glanced over at Clare before looking back to Lexa,“You guys broke up the night of the party, Lex. Costia was cheating on you and you found her in bed with a guy. You said she practically smashed your nose with the door and went straight back to having sex with the guy.”“What? No, that didn’t happen. At least not that I remember. I need to talk to Costia. Where is she?”“I’m not sure. I don’t think it’s such a good idea to talk to her. You have Clarke and I think you need to work things out with her right now,” Anya urged gently.“I don’t want to work things out with her. I don’t even know her and apparently we’re married. I just want to talk to Costia. The real woman that I love.”Clarke felt as if she had been sucker punched in the chest as the last few words left Lexa’s lips. It took all of her strength to push up from her chair and sprint towards the door and out the room. Sobs racked through her body as she walked briskly down the hallway. The last thing she heard before she disappeared around the corner was the sound of Anya calling out for her to stop. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “What the hell is wrong with you? That was your god damn wife that you just sent crying out the door!” Anya seethed as she walked back into Lexa’s room.Anya watched as Lexa sat back in her bed, arms crossed over her chest, and continued to ignore her as she stared out the window. Marching over to her sister’s bed, Anya grabbed ahold of Lexa’s chin and forced her emerald eyes to meet her own. Lexa slapped her hand away as she glared up at her through thick lashes.“What do you want me to say, Anya? I don’t remember her. I don’t know anything about her, and suddenly I’m married to her. Don’t you think this is all a bit confusing to me? I just want to talk to Costia and figure out what the hell as been going on. I need to work things out with her.”Anya huffed angrily,“Did everything I just told you go from one ear and out the other? Costia cheated on you, Lexa! Broke your heart and never said so much as a ‘sorry’ to you! And you know who was there to help you back up onto your feet? That woman. The woman that you came running to me about back in college saying how much she meant to you. The woman that you married and just sent running away because you said you loved still loved Costia. Clarke has done everything for you. Would risk everything for you, and all you can do is sit there and not even try and listen to what we’re telling you.”Anya’s anger only rose as Lexa stayed silent, still glaring at her as if she could make her magically disappear. Shaking her head Anya made her way over to the door and opened it before throwing one final look over her shoulder at Lexa.“When you’ve finally come to your senses and want to try and make things right, then I’ll come back. I’ll keep in contact with your doctor to make sure you’re okay, but I won’t be coming to see you, not until you can get past that thick skull of your’s and listen to everyone. I know you lost your memories, Lex, but that doesn’t mean you have to be a bitch about everything. You just ran the most precious thing to you out the door and you don’t even seem worried about it.”And with that Anya walked out the door, leaving behind an emotionally confused Lexa. After closing the door Anya leaned back against it and took a deep breath as she tried to calm the raging emotions inside of her. One emotion in particular she just couldn’t get a handle on. Sadness. The overbearing emotion that pushed all others to the side. Sadness…that wasn’t even meant for her, but for Clarke and Lexa. Sadness at what this could possibly do to their relationship. With Lexa so keen on seeing Costia again, she wasn’t sure how much Clarke could take of it. Anya knew Clarke was never a hateful person, but something about Costia always seemed to set her off in an instant.Pushing away her thoughts, deciding they would be put to better use for another day, Anya began walking off in the direction of where she had seen last seen Clarke. Making her way through the numerous halls it took Anya quite some time before she finally found Clarke. Anya stood silent for a moment as she watched Clarke through the window of the door hunched over on the outside bench in the courtyard. By the way she swiped her hand across her cheeks a few times Anya could tell that the blonde was crying. Squaring her shoulders and taking a deep calming breath Anya finally pushed her way through the door and walked over to the bench.“This seat taken?” Anya joked lightly.Clarke took in a few sniffles before shaking her head,“No.”Anya sat down quietly as she took in Clarke’s ragged form. Her blonde hair, usually falling down in loose waves, sat atop her head in a tangled bun. Ocean blue eyes often filled with the love for life were now dim and accompanied by dark circles under them. Anya placed a hand on Clarke’s back and rubbed soothing circles as she tried to ease the tension that she felt forming above her spine.“It may not seem like it now, Clarke, but everything is going to be okay. I think she just needs another good bump on the head to get her to listen.”Clarke let out a low watery laugh before turning to face Anya with red rimmed eyes,“With the way she’s acting I think she needs a little more than a bump on the head right now.”“Yeah, I guess you’re right. She’s being quite a bitch tonight,” Anya glanced around the empty courtyard and shivered slightly as a cold wind blew through before looking back at Clarke,“Why don’t you and I head on inside and grab a cup of hot chocolate while we wait for Lexa to calm down a bit?”“Yeah, that sounds good.”Anya let a small smile grace her lips as she helped Clarke stand from the bench and walking back into the hospital. As they walked towards the cafeteria Anya couldn’t help the nagging feeling in the back of her mind that something was amiss with Clarke. The way her eyes never stayed on hers for longer than a few seconds. The way she twiddled her fingers nervously as if she wanted to tell her something. Anya knew that Clarke was hiding something and figured now was as good a time as any to find out just exactly what she was hiding.“Clarke, what’s wrong? You’re nervously messing with your fingers and I know that means you want to tell me something.”Clarke sighed as she came to a stop in the middle of the hallway and dropped her hands to her sides. The blonde glanced up to her with worry etched into her eyes before beginning to dig in her purse. Anya furrowed her eyebrows in confusion when Clarke pulled out a wide strip of glassy paper and pressed it to her chest to keep her from seeing the front of it.“When I show you this…just promise you won’t say anything to Lexa. I want to be the one to tell her.”Anya nodded hesitantly before holding her hand out and allowing Clarke to place the paper in her hands. Flipping the paper over quickly she let out a startled breath as she stared down at the fuzzy black and white image.“Clarke, this is…,” Anya trailed off unable to form any words.“I found out today. I called Lexa as soon as I found out. She was on her way home from the office when I told her…she was so excited Anya. She’s wanted this for as long as I have and now she doesn’t even remember.”Anya pulled Clarke into her arms as a few tears ran down the blonde’s cheeks,“Hey, it’s going to be okay. We’re going to help Lexa remember everything we can and you’re both going to have a beautiful child together. Until that happens I’m here for you, for whatever you and this baby needs. And I’m sure once everyone else knows they’ll say the same thing. You’re not alone in this Clarke. We’re not going to leave you to deal with this by yourself.”Clarke pulled away from Anya and gave her a grateful smile,“Thanks, Anya. Even though you can have an attitude sometimes you’re still always there for Lexa and I when we need you. And now you’ll be here to help out with little Bean.”“Little Bean?”“Yeah. The baby looked like a little bean during the ultrasound. We won’t know the gender for a while so I don’t want to call Bean an ‘it’. I figured it was an appropriate nickname at the time,” Clarke said as she let her hands run soothingly along her abdomen.Anya smile softly as she watched Clarke,“Little Bean it is then. Now, how about we go get that hot chocolate?”Clarke nodded happily before hooking her arm with Anya’s and letting her lead them down the long expanse of hallway. Anya couldn’t contain the large smile, despite the events of the day, that settled over her features. She was finally going to be an aunt! And the best damn one little Bean would ever have. As they continued to walk towards the cafeteria her smile only grew larger.“Let it out, Anya,” Clarke said quietly next to her.“I’m going to be a damn aunt!” Anya shouted out happily.She got some glares from a few nurses walking passed them and didn’t even try to suppress the smug smile that overcame her face. A few giggles came from the blonde next to her and she let her eye shoot down to see Clarke covering her mouth to keep her laughter quiet.“I’m going to be an aunt,” Anya mumbled to herself as she continued to watch Clarke giggle happily.If Lexa didn’t want to listen to her about everything she had told her then Anya had no choice. No choice but to step up and protect the love of her sister’s life, and her child, until she is finally able to get a handle on her memories. No choice but to help Clarke in this dark time, because she’d be damned if she would let her go through this on her own. Clarke didn’t deserve that. Everything for the next nine months, or at least until Lexa was herself again, would be about Clarke and the baby. Shift in POV (Lexa) A soft giggle. The sound of a camera shutter. The bright light of a camera flash. Everything around Lexa began to leak colors. Bright lights swirling all around, but one lone figure stayed solid. A curvy body, face hidden behind the large camera she held in her pale hands. “Come on, Lexa. Smile.” Another camera flash, and the world went black. Lexa’s eyes flew open and groaned as she tried to sit up. Her bones ached and her head felt like it could split open at any second. What the hell was that? It seemed to real to be a dream. A memory perhaps? Lexa tried desperately to sort out the swirling images running through her mind. The multiple colors that flew around jumbled the memory too much for her to comprehend. Maybe it was just her subconscious trying to help her fill in the blanks that were currently missing, or at least the blanks that everyone said she was missing.To Lexa it didn’t seem like it had been almost five years since the night she walked into the frat house looking for Costia. To her, that happened last night. Mere hours ago. But now, here she was in a hospital bed, gauze wrapped around her head, being told that she was married to someone else. Someone she didn’t even remember. She couldn’t deny that when the blonde, Clarke, had first walked in her room that she had felt a sense of familiarity fill her mind.When her arms had wrapped around her, tangled in her hair, the sudden calmness that surrounded her almost scarred her. She couldn’t remember who that woman was, but she felt safe with her. Like she could tell her everything. Every little secret. And Lexa didn’t like that. Didn’t like the thought of being able to open herself up to someone so easily, someone she didn’t remember.A low mumble to her right had her head whipping to the side to see the blonde that plagued her thoughts sleeping in the lounging chair in the corner. As she shifted in the chair Lexa allowed her eyes to wonder over the length of Clarke’s body. Her eyes traveled up her black yoga pants covered legs and immediately came to a stop at the hand that cupped her lower abdomen. A sense of..pride…happiness…overcame her. Something about the way Clarke’s hand rested on her tummy sent her heart stuttering with emotions, and she couldn’t figure out why.Before she could become lost in her thoughts any longer the door to the bathroom swung open to reveal her sister. Anya made eye contact with her before shutting off the bathroom lights and taking a seat in the chair next to her bed.“How are you feeling? Remember anything?”Deciding to keep the colorful memory to herself Lexa shook her head,“Nothing. I’m still not convinced that it’s been five years since that night, Anya.”“What more proof do you need? It’s 2017, you’re a big shot CEO of a company you founded, and you’re married to that woman sitting right there,” Anya spat quietly as she pointed at a still sleeping Clarke.Lexa let her eyes search Clarke’s peaceful face before turning back to Anya,“But why? Why would I leave Costia? I love her, or I did. She wouldn’t do the things you said she’s done. I want to talk to her.”“God dammit, Lexa. Did the crash cause you to lose any sense of reason, too? Why would I lie to you? What would I possibly gain from lying to you about Costia cheating on you? I’m your sister and I’m telling you that that’s your wife sitting behind you. If you can’t try to listen to what I’m telling you for me, then do it for her. For that little—,” Anya suddenly came to a stop in her whispered rant, eyes wide.“Little what, Anya?”Anya waved a hand in Lexa’s direction before dropping it,“Nothing. Forget it. Just promise me something, Lexa. Don’t push her away. Just try and let her help you remember everything. I know it’s confusing now, still thinking you love Costia, but I can promise you, at the end of all this, you’ll still love Clarke. Like I know you do.”Lexa searched her sisters pleading eyes before slowly nodding her head,“Fine. But I’m not promising anything. I’ll let her try to help me, but if it doesn’t work I want to talk to Costia.”“Always so damn stubborn,” Anya said before running her hands through her hair,“Okay. Give Clarke time to show you everything so she can try and help you remember. If you don’t remember anything in nine months then I’ll find Costia so you can talk to her. But you have to try, Lexa. Don’t just push away everything that Clarke tries to show you. You can at least promise me that much.”“I promise I’ll try. Now, what do you mean by ‘show me everything’? Is she somehow gonna show me all of my memories on a computer?” Lexa joked.A smirk formed over Anya’s face,“You just happened to marry one of the best photographers in the city, Lexa. So when you go home be prepared to be bombarded with thousands of pictures.”Lexa threw her head back against her pillows and let out a loud groan.Just what did she get herself into? ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Emerald colored eyes shifted over to stare irritably at the humming blonde that currently sat in the driver’s seat of the car. Finally, after two days of positive results from the multiple tests at the hospital, Lexa was currently on her way home. Well, an unfamiliar home. Much to her dismay Anya insisted that she go home with Clarke instead of staying with her like Lexa had suggested. And now here she was, in the large black Escalade, with Clarke humming along loudly with the song that played through the radio’s speakers.If it wouldn’t have been for the small headache that had begun to form behind her eyes, Clarke’s humming wouldn’t have bothered her much. She did seem to have a lovely voice, but it took everything in Lexa to not yell out for her to shut up. After what seemed like an eternity the song finally ended, allowing Lexa to let a relieved sigh escape, and Clarke reached over to turn down the volume before glancing to her and back to the road.“I’m not bothering you am I?”Lexa felt her body stiffen at the woman’s words,“Uh, no. It’s fine.”“You’re lying.”“What? No, I’m not,” Lexa said as she crossed her arms defensively over her chest.Clarke let out an unconvinced laugh,“Yeah, you are. You may not remember but I know you better than anyone. Well, besides Anya.”“Okay, well let’s just see how much you know about me. How do you know I’m lying?”Clarke’s ocean blue eyes flipped over to her for a moment before staring ahead of her once again,“When you’re lying you get defensive. You cross your arms in front of your chest, you flare your nostrils, and you do this little thing with your left eyebrow. Like, you raise it up in defiance when you don’t want someone to prove you wrong, which I always do in the end.”A smug smile settled over Clarke’s face as Lexa angrily huffed and slid down further in her seat as she pouted. Damn. Clarke knew her too well, much to her discomfort. Lexa didn’t like the thought of a ‘stranger’, at least to her at that moment, knowing more about her than she was comfortable with. And the fact that Clarke was smug about it set Lexa into an even more sour mood than she was in when Clarke started humming.“And now you’re angry. I know this isn’t exactly what you had in mind, Lexa, but I think you being home with me will help with your memories.”Opting to stay silent, Lexa just continued to stare out the window as the city slowly disappeared behind them and gave way to a beautiful suburban neighborhood. Large houses with gorgeously decorated yards lined the streets and Lexa suddenly remembered Anya’s words. Over the course of the few days she had been in the hospital Anya had tried to give her as much information as possible about her company without overwhelming her. If she was some big shot CEO then certainly she must have a nice house, right?And right she was.The house wasn’t overly grand, not truly showing the wealth that Anya had shown her currently resting in her bank account, but still something beyond what Lexa had dreamed of as a little girl. As Clarke pulled into the driveway Lexa couldn’t pull her eyes away. The modern, neutral colored home was fixed with accents of wrought iron and patina delicately balanced the warmth wood and Belgian curtains that Lexa could just barely make out from the many large windows around the house. The two story house loomed over a lush front yard that housed a large driveway as well as a front walkway that included a stone fountain set a few feet away from the two small stairs that lead up to the front door.Lexa was too busy admiring the beautiful home, that was apparently hers, to notice Clarke staring at her with a barely noticeable smile.“You had that same look on your face when we first came here with our realtor. You said it was more than what you used to dream of when you were younger. After you stared at it for a good two minutes you looked over to me and said it was the one. You didn’t even need to step foot inside to know, as soon as the realtor walked up to our car you said we’d take it.”Lexa searched Clarke’s eyes, shimmering with unshed tears, and found no hint of deceit. Clarke let out a strained laugh before turning off the car and carefully climbing out to open the back passenger door and grab the small bag that held a few of Lexa’s things. Lexa quickly followed suit and waited patiently at the front of the car for Clarke to begin walking towards the large front door. She watched as the blonde unlocked the front door before rushing inside to enter in a key code for the security system that sat on the wall to the left of the door.Walking in Lexa’s breath caught in he lungs as she stared at the interior ahead of her. The small expanse of wall to her left gave way to a curved stair case that lead up to an interior balcony where she could see the openings to two hallway on either side of the balcony. The ten foot ceilings captivated her for a moment before letting her eyes fall back down to stare ahead of her. Af ew feet away she could just make out a large living room that house pristine white couches and a glass coffee table in the center of them. As she walked further into the home she could see a flat screen tv on the wall in front of the couches surrounded by large recessed shelves that housed what looked to be thousands of books, not that she was counting.All in all, even without looking around the rest of the magnificent house, Lexa could tell this was the home of her dreams. That and more. Her dream home where she wanted to enjoy lazy Sunday mornings curled up on the couch with a cup of coffee and a good book. The dream home where she wanted to be able to walk up to her room after a long day at work and cuddle up with her wife.Lexa’s eyes widened as her brain came to a swift stop. The soft throbbing that was setting in behind her eyes suddenly turned to feel as if someone was hitting her repeatedly over the head with a hammer. Blurred images of fluttering white fabric and pale skin clouded her vision as she closed her eyes to try and calm the ache in her head.That same giggle from her dream, -memory-, filled her ears and her eyes snapped open. Her chest heaved as she tried to calm the storm raging in her head. It wasn’t until a pair of warm hands were placed on her cheeks that she was able to get her breathing under control. The worried face of Clarke filtered through the hazy image of the white fabric that still hovered in her vision even after she opened her eyes.“Lexa? Hey, I’m right here. What’s wrong?”“A giggle. Did you hear someone giggle?”Clarke’s eyebrow scrunched together as she took in Lexa’s words,“There’s no one here but you and me. Nobody giggled, Lex.”As if Clarke’s touch burned her, Lexa pushed away her hands before backing away and shaking her head,“You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m just hearing things. Ugh, where’s the kitchen? I could really use some water right now.”A look of hurt flowed over Clarke’s face before quickly placing a small smile in her direction and began leading her towards the large kitchen. Lexa stood silently in the doorway and watched Clarke move around the kitchen with graceful memory as she readied a glass of water for Lexa. Moving over to the marble top kitchen island she took a seat at one of the many bar stools that lined it and looked around the bright kitchen. Looking out the window that sat above the sink across from her Lexa could see a large pool that laid in the backyard as well as a good expanse of luscious grass.“Here you go,” Clarke said as she set a cup filled with ice and water, a lemon wedge floating on top, in front of Lexa.Just the way she liked her water. She smiled up gratefully at the blonde before taking the drink and chugging down almost half the glass in one fell swoop. Lexa was grateful for the icy water that helped soothe her suddenly parched throat and also pulled her eyes away from Clarke who’s own eyes were wondering her figure. Setting the glass on the counter Lexa was just about to ask if Clarke needed something until the blonde turned around and walked back over to the fridge.“I was thinking of making your favorite for dinner tonight. BLT on rye with extra crispy bacon. How does that sound?”Lexa would be lying if she said her mouth didn’t water at the sound of food,“That sounds good. Hospital food kinda sucks.”“It does. I don’t think it’s something I could stomach right now.”“What do you mean by that?”Clarke pulled out a pack of bacon before turning to look at Lexa with confusion filled eyes,“What are you talking about?”“You just said you don’t think you could stomach hospital food right now. Are you sick?”Lexa watched as Clarke’s eyes widened momentarily before an awkward laugh was forced out of her throat,“Uh, no. No, it’s just…uh…I have a really sensitive stomach. Yeah, a sensitive stomach.”She knew Clarke was lying. Just the hesitation in her voice gave her away along with the tone of her voice that sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than Lexa. Instead of pushing the subject Lexa stood from her stool before pushing it back into place and walking to towards the entrance to the kitchen. She stopped in the doorway when she realized that she had no clue where she was going and looked over her shoulder at Clarke.“Uh, where’s the bathroom?”“Down the hallway, first door to the right,” Clarke said as she pulled out a bag of rye bread.Lexa gave a small ‘thank you’ before leaving the kitchen and making her way down the hallway. Her walk slowed to a stop right before she passed a picture frame hanging on the wall to her left. It was of her. Laughing at what looked like a summer fair, a giant stuffed raccoon in her hands. Lexa ran her fingers over the glass covered picture as she tried to etch the details of it into her mind. She didn’t remember this. Something that had happened to make her smile so brightly and she couldn’t even remember what it was.Glancing down the hallway she saw a few more pictures and decided to keep looking over them. The next one featured her and Clarke. They sat along a beach, sun setting ahead of them, wrapped in each others arms. From the angle the picture was taken Lexa could see the gentle smile that rested on Clarke’s face as her eyes glanced up at hers. Something in this picture sent Lexa’s heart beating like a humming birds wings, and she wasn’t sure if it was good or bad. None of this she remembered. This was a life that was unknown to her. And it scared her.This picture showed that she indeed had something with Clarke, but standing here now, she wasn’t sure if she still wanted that something. Yes, everyone was telling her that she was married to this woman, but for some reason, whether it was because of the lost memories or just because of her heart, she still loved Costia. No matter how many times Anya had told her the story about Costia the night of the party she still didn’t believe her. That was something in her heart she knew Costia would never do, at least not the Costia she knew almost five years ago. Now she didn’t know where she was or who she was for that matter. For all Lexa knew she could be married and have kids, a whole new life.Sighing deeply due to the conflicting emotions battling within her Lexa forwent looking at any of the other photos and continued her journey to the bathroom. Finally, she spotted the white door to the right and had just pushed it open when the sound of her name being called suddenly stopped her. Her head whipped to the side to see Clarke jogging down the hallway, with something akin to fear in her eyes.“Lexa, wait. Don’t go in there yet. I, uh, there’s something I need to get before you go in,” Clarke harshly breathed out as she pushed her way past Lexa.Lexa didn’t have time to retaliate before Clarke had slammed the door shut, successfully locking her out. Confused, she placed her ear against the door and listened to the slight rustling that was coming from the other side. A string of cuss words could be heard coming from the blonde on the other side as well as the sound of a plastic bag. Lexa quickly moved away from the door when she heard Clarke’s footsteps getting closer to the door. A flustered Clarke swung the door open, an arm behind her back, and gave Lexa a sheepish grin.“Sorry. Just some trash I needed to get out of here. Uh, you can use it now.”Clarke moved out of the doorway, careful to make sure whatever was behind her back stayed hidden. Lexa arched an eyebrow while she watched Clarke back up down the hallway before shooting into the kitchen without so much as another word. Shaking her head Lexa made her way into the bathroom before shutting and locking the door. Shift in POV (Clarke) Clarke leaned against the wall next to the entrance of the kitchen gripping the plastic bag to her chest as she let out a relieved sigh. Out of all the things she forgot to pick up in the two hours she had come home the other day she would forget the pregnancy test. Opening the bag Clarke pulled out the small stick and sadly smiled down at it. Keeping this a secret from Lexa was going to be hard and it wasn’t just because of the pregnancy symptoms that would obviously begin to give her away. It was more because of the overwhelming urge to tell Lexa, to be able to, maybe, see the bright smile overcome her face like the one Clarke knew she wore when she had first told her over the phone.But that wasn’t a possibility right now. First priority was to help Lexa remember anything and everything she could without pushing any boundaries. She knew Lexa to be a private person and didn’t like the idea of strangers knowing a lot about her, and to Lexa, Clarke was technically a stranger at the moment. No matter how much proof she had about her being married to Lexa, about how much she loved her, she knew Lexa was stubborn. Stubborn to a point to where it could possibly ruin something that meant a lot to her, whether she did it on purpose or not.Deciding to quit wallowing around in self misery Clarke stuffed the pregnancy test into her back pocket and stuffed the box and plastic bag into the trashcan beside her. Walking over to the ingredients for the BLT’s Clarke heard the familiar sound of the bathroom door opening and kept glancing up as she waited for Lexa to appear. As she was cutting the tomatoes into slices she looked up to see Lexa hesitantly round the corner to stand awkwardly in the threshold.Just by the way she stood there, unsure of what to do with herself, had Clarke’s arousal skyrocketing into space. This pregnancy would be the end of her, especially with Lexa being off limits at the moment. It was safe to say she may need to take things into her own hands. Literally. Clarke was so in tuned with letting her eyes wonder she didn’t realize she was sitting chopping away at the tomatoes until she felt a sudden sharp pain shoot up her finger.“Ah!”Clarke let out a small painful yelp as she dropped the knife and quickly grabbed a few paper towels to try and stop the blood flow from the cut she now sported on her finger. As she wrapped the towel tightly around her finger she failed to notice Lexa digging around in one of the cabinets before suddenly appearing next to her with a first aid kit.“Lexa, how’d you know where that was?”Lexa stared down at the box in her hands, confusion written clearly in her eyes,“I’m not sure. I just saw the blood and then I was just moving on my own.”Clarke felt her heart fill with hope. Hope that someday soon, Lexa’s memories would come back. If such a simple and unimportant memory such as remembering where the first aid kit was in their kitchen came back to Lexa without her even thinking about it then there was a way for her most important memories to make their way back. Clarke continued to hold the paper towel around her finger as she watched Lexa pull out a bandaid and a tube of healing ointment before holding her hand out towards Clarke.“Let’s see.”Clarke placed her hand in Lexa’s and watched silently as she removed the paper towel from her finger to inspect the cut. From her point of view the cut wasn’t that deep, merely just a flesh wound that looked worse than it was because of the amount of blood that oozed out. Lexa dabbed at the cut, wiping away the remaining blood before quickly applying the ointment and covering it with a bandaid. Once she was done Lexa slowly released her hand and glanced up at her before beginning to clean up the little bit of trash on the counter.“Thank you. For this,” Clarke said as she held up her finger.Lexa looked at her once more before shutting the first aid kit and moving to put it back in its rightful place,“It’s no problem. Something just came over me when I heard you yelp and saw the blood. Do you cut yourself often?”A small laugh left Clarke’s lips as she looked down in shame as Lexa came to stand next to her,“Almost every time. You’re usually here to patch me up. That’s probably what triggered you remembering where the first aid kit was.”Clarke’s eyes rose to meet Lexa’s as the brunette studied her face. Suddenly everything around the fell away. In that particular moment it was just her and Lexa. Nothing else. Clarke could feel herself gravitating closer to Lexa’s rosy lips and she was more than positive Lexa was also moving closer. Warm breath rolled over her lips and a small shiver ran down her spine as she waited for the moment that she had wanted since telling Lexa the amazing news. Clarke’s tongue darted out to moisten her suddenly dry lips and right before she could move any closer to her goal Lexa pulled away.Emerald eyes stared back at her, shock and horror written clearly across her face,“I’m sorry. I can’t…I just can’t.”Clarke’s felt her heart crack slightly as Lexa rushed out of the kitchen and disappeared to god knows where, seeming as to how she didn’t remember her way around the house. So, close but yet so far. With Lexa being so close, her warm breath ghosting over Clarke’s lips sending chills down her spine, almost made Clarke believe that maybe the accident never happened. That maybe Lexa was still…Lexa.But God’s cruel plan for her wasn’t over, not by a long shot. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- After rushing out the kitchen due to the small awkward encounter Lexa found herself roaming the fairly large house. Seeing as to how she wanted to get as far away from Clarke as possible at the moment her first instinct was to scurry up the stairs to the second story and push herself through the closest door. As she leaned against the solid wood and let out an exaggerated sigh she slowly opened her eyes and looked around the room.Shelves lined the walls, not a single space left unoccupied due to the sheer number of books, and Lexa couldn’t help but let out a startled gasp. Books had always been one of her passions. They were able to take her places, help her escape the world around her when things went wrong or when she just wanted to get away. Walking further into the room, Lexa let her fingers brush against the textured spines of the books lining the shelf closest to her as she looked around.A wooden top desk with iron legs sat in the center of the room. A 21.5 inch iMac sat on the smooth surface, a few papers laid neatly in a pile on the edge, and a large picture frame rested next to the large computer. Shuffling over, Lexa took a seat in the white leather desk chair before grabbing ahold of the picture frame. The sight before sent a jolt through her heart. A black and white image of Clarke, smiling brightly back at her as she glanced over her bare shoulder, eyes gleaming with unrepressed happiness. Her ears burned as she placed the picture back on the desk, this time face down, and tried to shake the, what in her mind was a probably a private photo meant for her and her alone, out of her head.“You took that picture,” a soft voice came from the door causing Lexa to jump.She looked up to see Clarke leaning against the door frame, arms folded gently across her chest as she gazed at Lexa.“I was at the studio closing up when you suddenly showed up. You brought us dinner and we ended up eating there. You stared at me for the longest time before telling me you wanted to take my picture,” Clarke trailed off, leaving her to figure out the rest of the short story.Her mind became fuzzy. Obviously it was her that had prompted the clearly shirtless picture of Clarke. She tried to form the image in her head, one where the woman before her allowed her to capture the stunning image, one where she was the cause of the dazzling smile that graced her features. She tried.“I don’t remember that,” Lexa whispered quietly as she looked at everything but Clarke.Clarke pushed off the frame and walked over to the desk to stand before Lexa,“That’s fine. I don’t expect everything to come rushing back to you, no matter how much I want it to.”The last part was a broken whisper, one that Lexa had almost missed, but she still heard it. Her eyes darted up to the blonde before awkwardly looking down at her hands. How was this supposed to work? She was married to someone she technically didn’t know. Were they just supposed to start over or pick up from where they left off? Did Clarke expect things from her? To hold her, kiss her, sleep with her as she was sure she had done before the accident wiped her memories? Her unexpected worries caused the slow ache that was finally beginning to fade away to snap back in full force, causing her to flinch slightly.“It’s getting late. Why don’t we go back to the kitchen and eat and then head to bed?” Clarke suggested, obviously noticing her inner struggle.Lexa nodded her head before standing from the chair and following Clarke back down to the kitchen. As she sat at the kitchen island chewing one of the best BLTs she’d ever tasted a sudden thought popped into Lexa’s head.Where the hell would she be sleeping?Standing in the large room Lexa mentally groaned, finally seeing where she was more than likely going to sleep, as she wished that she had forced Anya to let her stay with her.After finishing up with the quick meal and awkwardly helping Clarke wash the dishes, she had followed the blonde up the stairs and down one of the two hallways only to come to a set of double doors. Clarke didn’t hesitate as she pushed open both doors and walked into the room, leaving Lexa to gaze at it’s beauty. A Millet diamond-tufted king bed sat against the only windowless wall in the room, two nightstands on either side, both sporting matching lamps and picture frames.Moving inside, Lexa looked around at the rest of the furniture placed neatly around the room. With the size of the room, there was plenty of space to fit a couch with two matching love seats and a coffee table in the center. Lexa splayed her hands across the smooth fabric of the couch and was brought out of her thoughts as Clarke came walking back into the room from a door that Lexa hadn’t noticed to her right.“Bathroom is right through there. I put some clothes out for you. I figured you might want to take a shower before bed.”“Thank you.”Not knowing what else to say Lexa hurried into the bathroom and shut the door. The bathroom itself was almost as grand as the bedroom. A large tub was on the wall opposite of her, a frosted window sitting above it. A glass shower was to the left of the tub, a waterfall shower head on the ceiling catching Lexa’s attention. A door to what she assumed may be a walk-in closet was to the right of the tub. The bathroom counter, with built in vanity, stretched along the wall next to the entrance where she currently stood. A neat stack of clothes and a dark grey towel sat on the marble surface and, as she stared at the clean clothing, Lexa realized how desperately as craved the feeling of being freshly washed.Waisting no time, she quickly began removing her clothing. Luckily Dr. Williams had prescribed her a pain medication to help with the pain of her broken ribs and now only a dull ache caught her attention when she moved the wrong way. As for her fractured wrist, that thankfully hadn’t been as she had previously thought, she only needed to wear a brace for a few weeks to keep any pressure off of it as it healed.After putting her clothing in a hamper next to the shower she carefully removed her brace and placed it on the ledge of the tub next to her towel. Opening the glass door she silently slipped inside the shower and turned the knob for the hot water and let out a heavenly sigh as the water slipped down her body. Lexa quickly went to work scrubbing her curly brunette locks before moving on to her body. The smell of lavender assaulted her nose as she ran the body wash covered loofah over her body.Before long she stepped out into the steam filled bathroom and reached for her towel to wrap around her body. After drying her wrist and securing her brace back into place she made her way over to the bathroom counter where her clothes sat. Quickly toweling off she pulled on her undergarments and dressed in the sleep shorts and tank top that Clarke left out for her. Wiping away some of the fog from the mirror Lexa let her eyes travel over her own features.The person she was staring at was an older version of herself that held different features of the person she used to see when she was in college. Her jaw had become more defined, lips seemed to be fuller, hair was a shade lighter, and her eyes seemed to be slightly darker. This girl—woman—wasn’t who she was used to seeing. The person looking back at her wasn’t someone she knew. This person lead a different life, one she was completely unfamiliar with. In her mind she was still in college, making mistakes every struggling college student made, still in love with…Lexa broke her gaze with the mirror and ran her hands down her face. Thinking of her would only make things harder. She had promised Anya that she wouldn’t get into contact with Costia until the nine months were up, and that was if she didn’t remember anything. Deciding not to dwell on it any further Lexa made her way to the door and opened it before switching the lights off and walking into the bedroom. Quietly closing the door Lexa could make out Clarke’s form laying silently under the covers on the right side of the large bed.Did she expect her to share the bed? To sleep next to her? Was she supposed to take the couch? Thoughts swirled around in Lexa’s head as she contemplated the best course of action. It wasn’t until Clarke sat up in bed to stare at her did Lexa finally cease her mental conflict.“You can sleep in the bed, Lex. I’m not going to bite…much,” Clarke gently teased.By the amused smile on the blonde’s face Lexa was pretty positive that she had seen the large blush that had sprung up on her cheeks. Padding her way over to the unoccupied side of the bed she lifted the sheets and comforter before climbing inside and laying down as close to the edge as she could get. She felt a slight shift in the bed before the room suddenly turned black and she felt the covers shift signaling that Clarke had returned to her previous laying position. Lexa laid there for what felt like hours, unaccustomed to the feeling of Clarke sleeping behind her, even though she was on the opposite side of the king sized bed. She shifted to get a little more comfortable and finally managed to get her tense body to relax. As she began to drift off into the void that was sleep a few whispered words reached her ears.“I love you, Lexa.” Bright flashes filled the candle lit space around her. A black camera, heavy in her grip, as she pressed down on the shutter button. A short giggle, that same giggle. The sound of hair brushing along bare skin. Another flash. From her perspective, looking through the lens of the camera, a shirtless woman stood, back to her, head thrown back in laughter. A breath released from her lungs as the woman glanced over her bare shoulder, a bright smile covering her face. One last flash. Lexa gasped loudly as she sat up in bed, a thin sheet of sweat covering her forehead and back. Her ribs protested at the sudden movement and that only caused the throbbing in her head to increase. Her dream—maybe a memory—replayed over in her head. The woman, who’s face was almost too blurry to make out, was most certainly Clarke. After seeing the picture and having that dream there was no one else Lexa could image it was. No. It was a dream. Clarke could have easily taken the picture herself. She put this image in Lexa’s head with her story. Made her see things she didn’t remember. Things she weren’t even sure that happened. With anger clouding her mind she glanced over in search of said blonde only for her eyebrows to scrunch together in confusion to see the bed empty, covers thrown messily from where the blonde previously laid. Reaching over and turning on the lamp that sat on the nightstand Lexa scanned the room for any sign of the curly blonde haired female.A sudden noise coming from the bathroom caught Lexa’s attention and she quickly hopped out of bed and made her way towards the cracked door. Pushing the door completely open Lexa hesitated at the entrance for a moment before walking inside.“Clarke? Are you in here?”Lexa heard the noise once again to her left and turned to see Clarke leaning over the toilet, desperately trying to hold her hair away from her face as she threw up. Seeing the blonde struggling Lexa rushed over to her side to grab ahold of the blonde mass. Without realizing what she was doing Lexa began rubbing soothing circles on Clarke’s back as she waited for the woman to stop vomiting. After a few minutes had passed Clarke slowly sat back and looked up at Lexa sheepishly.“I’m sorry you had to see that. Thank you, though. For holding my hair.”Lexa’s eyes met Clarke’s for a moment before looking down at her feet, all previous thoughts about her dream forgotten,“It’s no problem. Are you okay? Do you need me to call a doctor?”“Uh, no. It’s okay. I’ll be fine. My stomach probably just didn't agree with the BLT from last night. I feel better already,” Clarke lied through her teeth.Lexa paused for a moment before nodding her head in acceptance and helping Clarke from the floor. She watched silently as the woman walked over to the bathroom sink and began brushing her teeth. Her eyes roamed over the back of Clarke’s head, down her t-shirt covered back before reaching the curve of her ass. Lexa’s emerald eyes snapped away as she suddenly noticed Clarke’s state of undress.“Um, Clarke. You’re not, uh, you’re not wearing any…,”Lexa’s words failed her as she tried to make Clarke aware of her panty clad bottom.Clarke’s eyes darted to Lexa in the mirror before glancing down,“Oh my god. I’m so sorry. I usually don’t sleep with pants. I didn’t think of that last night. I’m sorry.”Lexa kept her eyes away from Clarke’s form as she quickly rinsed out her mouth before disappearing into the walk-in closet. The blush creeping along her face finally began to fade away as Clarke came sauntering out dressed in black leggings.“Sorry, again. Before the…uh, accident…you didn’t care if I walked around half naked. You actually lik—,” Clarke let her words die in her mouth as Lexa’s blush came back full force,“Uh, I’m gonna go make breakfast.”Clarke darted out of the bathroom leaving a flushed Lexa in her wake. Lexa made sure the blonde was gone before letting out a long exhale as she tried to calm the raging emotions in her body. Seeing Clarke’s almost bare bottom had caused feelings in the lower pit of her stomach to spring to life that she didn’t even know she possessed for the young woman. Things she should only feel for…Costia. Every fiber of her being screamed to follow Clarke, to push her against the wall and claim what her body was telling her was her’s, but that name in the back of her head stilled any movement that formed.A deep internal struggle began to wage war in Lexa’s mind as she fought against her senses. Senses that told her to take Clarke to the highest pleasure, to have her withering underneath her. And there it was again. Costia. The name seemed to rear it’s head around any time Lexa thought of Clarke in some sexual way, in a possible loving way. She couldn’t think of that with anyone else. Her mind currently belonged to Costia…maybe even her heart. As the crashing waves that were Costia’s hold on Lexa’s mind washed through her a sudden decision was made. One that Lexa would either come to regret or one that she would cherish.With the way her brain was working at the moment, currently devoid of anyone—anything— but Costia, she’d be damned if she was gong to follow Anya’s nine month promise. She was going to find and talk to Costia herself, today. Clarke be damned. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Clarke let out a broken breath as she finally reached the kitchen before rounding the island and leaning against it, her back to the kitchen entrance. Unshed tears blurred her vision as she tried to calm her racing emotions. Here she was in the middle of her kitchen, crying because Lexa didn’t remember such a silly little thing like liking to watch her walk around the house without pants.“I blame you little Bean,” Clarke sadly joked to her developing baby bump about her conflicting emotions.A single tear broke free from the corner of her eye and that was all it took for the flood gates to open. As one hand cradled the small bump of her tummy the other lifted to try and wipe away her tears. She just couldn’t seem to calm her shifting emotions as she took in a stuttering breath. Everything happening around her the past few days seemed to be causing nothing but tears to sprout in her blue eyes. The sudden sound of someone entering the kitchen caught her attention and she quickly looked over her shoulder to catch a glimpse of Lexa, fully dressed for the day, standing on the other side of the island.Clarke quickly looked away and brushed the remaining tears off her cheeks before speaking,“Um, anything specific you want for breakfast? Eggs, pancakes, maybe French toast?”“Were you crying?”Those three simple words and Clarke swallowing down more tears before she put on a brave face and turned to Lexa,“No, not really. Just something in my eyes. It’s fine now, though. So, what do you want for breakfast?”“Uh, okay. I’m actually going to head out somewhere. There’s a few things I want to do today,” Lexa said, watching Clarke intently to gauge her reaction.“Sure. I just need to change and we can—,” Lexa swiftly cut her off.“I’d like to go by myself.”Clarke blinked slowly trying to figure out what was running through Lexa’s mind in that moment,“Lexa, you just got out of the hospital from a car accident. You have a severe concussion, which may I remind you, that your still healing from.”Clarke didn’t need to voice that she was implying about Lexa’s memories still being suppressed. By the way Lexa rolled her eyes, Clarke knew that the older woman knew what she was talking about.“I’ve lost my memories, not my ability to take care of myself like the adult I am,” Lexa snapped.The words stung Clarke’s heart at the harshness of Lexa’s tone,“I didn’t mean that you couldn’t take care of yourself, Lex. I’d just think it’d be best if you didn’t drive for a while like the doctor said.”“Then I won’t drive. I’ll just walk.”Before Clarke could respond Lexa was already walking out the kitchen and towards the front door. Rounding the island Clarke quickly made her way out the kitchen and down the hallway, hot on Lexa’s trail. Lexa walked up to the front door, shouldering her small purse that she had apparently grabbed from the hospital bag that housed all her stuff from the crash, and opened the tall door before looking back at Clarke.“I’ll be back later. Don’t wait up.”And with that she left a shocked Clarke frozen a few feet away from the front door. Pushing her shock to the side, Clarke quickly moved forward and threw the front door open and ran out onto the front walkway to see Lexa hightailing it down the sidewalk, never looking back.“Lexa! Come back!”Clarke desperately wanted to go after the brunette but thought better against it as she remembered the tone that Lexa had used on her earlier. The hidden anger that laid deep down in her voice still hurt Clarke’s heart. Letting out a defeated sigh Clarke slowly made her way back inside, deciding it would be better to call Anya and let her know about Lexa’s spontaneous adventure. Making quick work of the stairs, Clarke rushed back to the bedroom and grabbed her phone off the nightstand. Scrolling through her contacts she quickly found Anya’s name and hit the dial button.Not even three rings sounded over the phone before Anya’s voice filled the speaker,“Hey, Clarke. Is everything okay?”“Lexa decided to go on a little adventure. She started walking towards town a few minutes ago. I need you to find her and make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid.”“Why didn’t you stop her? You could have ran after her,” Clarke took notice of the calmness of Anya’s voice, surprised that it wasn’t also filled with anger.“She snapped at me this morning. She said there were some things she wanted to do today and I told her it would take me a minute to get changed but she told me no. That she wanted to go alone, and when I told her the doctor said it was better if she didn’t drive while still healing from her concussion she got angry. Told me that she may have lost her memories but didn’t lose her ability to take care of herself like the adult she is. I thought it would be best if you went to find her instead of me. Seeing as to how she doesn’t exactly care for me at the moment.”A deep exhale came from Anya,“At least she’s admitting she lost her memories. Maybe we can smack some sense into her yet. Don’t worry, Clarke. I’ll go and see if I can find her. I’ll try some of her old college hang out spots and I’ll call if I find her, okay?”“Okay, just let me know as soon as you find her. God knows what that woman can get herself into when she’s angry and has her mind set on something. She’s too damn stubborn.”“She is, but don’t worry. When I find her she’ll be wishing she never left.”Clarke let a sorrowful smile grace her lips,“Thanks, Anya. I really appreciate it.”“What are older sisters for besides keeping their younger siblings from getting into trouble? Oh, and Clarke.”“Yeah?”“She may not remember it now, but Lexa cares for you. More than anything on this Earth. Just because she’s lost her memories doesn’t mean that that love isn’t there. Just give it some time and she’ll find her way back to you.”Clarke bit her lip to keep the it from quivering at her sister-in-law’s words,“I know. She’ll come back to us eventually. Until then we just kind of have to help her along the way.”“Exactly. Now, you go relax. Maybe take a dip in the pool since the weather is nice. You don’t need anymore stress today. I can’t have you and little Bean in the hospital. I’ll deal with Lexa today and bring her back once she’s had some time to calm down.”“Thanks again, Anya. I hope you don’t have to run around the entire city to find her.”“I think I’ll be okay. I’ll find her before long and drag her back screaming and kicking if I have to,” Anya joked.Clarke rolled her eyes before giving a little laugh,“Bye, Anya.”“Bye, Clarke. Tell Bean I said ‘hello’ and I can’t wait to meet him or her!”“Will do.”Clarke pulled the phone away from her ear and hit the ‘end’ button. She watched as her phone’s home screen popped up and smiled down at the background picture. It was the day she and Lexa had decided to have a lazy day and stay at home. She had grown bored and wanted to start on a new painting, much to Lexa’s displeasure, who only wanted to cuddle all day in bed. They both ended up getting into a ridiculous argument and Clarke had flicked her paint covered paint brush in Lexa’s direction, successfully covering her wife’s face with bright orange paint. It was safe to say they both ended up covered in paint which lead to Clarke pulling out her phone and capturing the moment forever.That day had been amazing. Both so carefree and in love. Like nothing could break them apart. Until that horrid night. Lexa’s memories stolen from her leaving Clarke to try and desperately help her remember. If she could remember.Clarke quickly shook her head to clear the vile thought,“She’ll remember. She’ll remember because she loves me. Us. Lexa will never truly leave us. She’s there, just waiting to come back. Just you wait.”Her hands ran over her bump where little Bean slept peacefully, completely unaware of the situation his mothers were in at the moment. If all turned well then this would just turn out to be a future story that ended with a happy ending, hopefully without too many complicated twists and turns. Deciding to not dwell on the future any longer Clarke began to think of the present. Of little Bean and what would be best of him or her in this moment and time. And it certainly wasn’t good for little Bean if she was worried day and night about what the future might possibly hold. So she would focus on keeping herself healthy to help the little life inside her grow.Taking Anya’s advice Clarke figured it would be the perfect time to throw on a bikini and take a dip in the pool. Maybe even have a nice lemonade while she barbecued a few burgers. Making her way into the bathroom and to the walk-in closet Clarke dug around in one of the many drawers before pulling out a teal colored bikini with a shout of triumph. Making quick work of her shirt and leggings, Clarke pulled on the bikini before grabbing a soft grey kimono cover up out of another drawer. While walking back into her bedroom, pulling the kimono onto her shoulders, she heard the sound of loud knocking traveling through her open bedroom door.Making her way out the bedroom and down the hallway Clarke came to a stop at the balcony and gazed down towards the front door to see who was knocking. She could make out the tall muscular form of a man from her vantage point and automatically knew who it was. Carefully taking the stairs as fast as she could Clarke rushed over to the door and threw it open, no hesitation in her fluent movements.“Long time no see, princess.”Clarke happily threw her arms around the tall tan man and gave him a good squeeze,“Lincoln! It’s good to see you! What are you doing here? Where’s Octavia?”“She’s getting some stuff from the car with Raven, Bellamy, and Echo,” Lincoln pulled away and rested his hands on Clarke’s shoulders,“Anya told everyone about the accident and Lexa walking out. She said you could use a good distraction right now while she goes looking for Lexa. We figured we’d bring a few things over and have a little party. Since it’s pretty hot outside today we thought it would be good to have a cook out and swim a bit. And since you’re already in your bathing suit I’m guessing you had the same idea.”Clarke directed a small smile to Lincoln,“Thanks, Linc. I could really use the distraction. I haven’t been able to get all of this out of my mind since the officers arrived at my house. It’s been like living in a never ending nightmare.”“Well, now that nightmare is over! Because we’re going to have some fun today!”Clarke laughed as Octavia came walking up behind Lincoln, arms full of grocery bags, the rest of their little group of friends following closely behind. All of them had surprisingly met one fateful night when her and Lexa were studying up a storm in their campus library. They had taken residence at a back table, even though the entire library was pretty much empty considering it was close to closing time, and were studying quietly until a shrill yell caused them both to jump up in shock.Both woman looked over to where the yell had come from just in time to see a small group of friends, water guns in hand, running towards them. Three women and two men, who they would soon come to know as Raven, Octavia, Echo, Bellamy, and Lincoln, had began to spray each other, not taking notice that they were getting closer to both females. It wasn’t until Raven and Echo ducked out of Bellamy and Lincolns aim that they realized Clarke and Lexa behind them, but it was too late. Both women yelled in shock as the icy water doused them. Lincoln and Bellamy had automatically dropped their water guns and had begun to apologize over and over while the three women laughed in the background.Lexa had looked over at her and she instantly noticed the glimmer of revenge pooling in her eyes. Clarke had given her a stubble nod before they both dived for the discarded guns and quickly began aiming for the group around them. After ducking behind chairs and tables for almost ten minutes they had run out of water and threw their guns down in surrender. After that moment everyone looked around, each dripping in water, before falling onto the floor holding their stomachs in laughter. From that moment on, no matter the weirdness of how they had met, the group became extremely close over the following weeks, even after they got kicked out of the library.Clarke would never change the way she met her crazy friends. It may have cost her a month of being banned from the library but it was well worth it to gain friends like the one’s now making their way inside her home. Everyone shuffled into the kitchen and placed the many shopping bags onto the counters. Octavia was the first one to appear back at Clarke’s side, wrapping her up in a firm hug.“I’m sorry to hear about Lexa. She’ll come around though. She’s just being her stubborn self,” Octavia whispered into her ear.Clarke pulled back and let the corner of her lip tug up in a lopsided smile,“Nothing to be sorry about, O. Things happen. We’ll work around them and get her back to where we left off.”Octavia nodded in agreement before she was suddenly pushed away by Raven,“Get out my way, Octavia. It’s my turn to hug blondie.”Clarke giggled as Raven pulled her into a fierce hug,“Hey, Raven. You’re starting to sound like Anya.”“Well, I am dating and living with her. She’s bound to rub off on me at some point. I’m just shocked my awesomeness hasn’t rubbed off onto her yet. Maybe she’s just not worthy.”Bellamy chose that moment to butt into their conversation, beer in hand,“You sure that ‘awesomeness’ isn’t just a figment of your imagination?”“Watch it, Blake. Don’t tempt me to blow up your precious TV again,” Raven playfully threatened.Bellamy held his hands up in defeat as Echo came to stand to his left,“No more blowing up TV’s, Raven. Do you know how much it took us to replace the last two?”Everyone laughed as Raven just shrugged her shoulders at Echo’s comment before beginning to move around the kitchen with Octavia, pulling out everything from the bags littering the counters. Soon hamburger meat, hot dogs, an array of condiments, hot dog and hamburger buns, beer, and paper plates were neatly placed along the kitchen island. Bellamy and Lincoln grabbed ahold of the hot dogs and hamburgers before making their way outside to the large grill that sat a few feet away from the pool. After everything was set for when they were ready to eat the four women all decided that a few minutes in the pool were much needed. Raven called out, saying she would follow shortly, as Clarke, Octavia, and Echo made their way out the door and towards the pool.They quickly shed their clothes before tentatively placing their feet in the water to check the temperature and, after finding it nice and warm, dove in. As Clarke rose to the surface she caught the sight of Raven walking towards the pool, four beers in hand. Clarke’s heart rate increased as she realized what her friends could possibly learn about her in this moment. She wasn’t normally one to turn down a beer, usually having at least one or two at get togethers like this, so it was going to be hard to get out of this one. It wasn’t that she didn’t want her friends to know it was the fact that she wanted to talk it over with Lexa first before anyone else found out. The more people who knew, the harder the secret would be to keep.“I go to get the good stuff and you guys get in without me! What kind of friends are you?” Raven huffed out in mock anger.“Just give me the damn beer, Rae,” Octavia demanded as she swam to the edge of the pool, hand outstretched.Raven handed over the opened beer to the brunette while also handing one over to Echo who sat at the edge of the pool. Clarke tried to form any excuse that would make sense in her hand but failed miserable when Raven called out to her.“Clarke, I’m not holding your beer forever. Come get it.”The blonde quickly shook her head at the Latina,“Uh, no thanks, Raven. I don’t really want one right now.”Good excuse, Clarke. They’ll totally believe that one. Yeah, right.Echo’s gaze shifted over to her with amused concern,“You don’t want a beer, Clarke? What, did you bump your head this morning? You never turn down a beer.”Clarke worried at her lip as she listened to Echo’s words,“No…I’m just not really feeling it right now. Maybe later.”All three woman’s gazes stayed on her for a few more moments before Raven shrugged and placed the extra beer on one of the tables sitting next to one of the many lounging chairs. Raven sat next to Echo and all four woman began making light conversation while basking in the warm sun. About an hour and a half passed before Bellamy and Lincoln called out to them stating that the food was ready and, after drying off, the woman followed them back into the house. Everyone maneuvered around each other as they fixed their plates of food, piling hamburgers and hot dogs, as well as some potato salad Clarke had overlooked. Clarke was walking behind Lincoln when his elbow suddenly shot back towards her stomach. With quick reflexes Clarke dropped her plate of food and instantly covered the tiny bump where she knew Bean rested before Lincoln’s elbow could make contact with it, instead meeting her hands.Everyone turned their gazes to her as the paper plate crashed to the floor, food splattering everywhere. Clarke hunched around her hands as Lincoln whipped around and apologized before squatting down and beginning to pick up the food, not noticing everyone’s eyes still on Clarke. Clarke took a deep breath before her eyes darted around to each of her friends. Her gaze stopped as she met the eyes of a gasping Raven, one hand hovering over her mouth while the other one pointed towards her stomach.“You’re pregnant!”So much for trying to keep it a secret. Damn. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Everyone turned their gazes to her as the paper plate crashed to the floor, food splattering everywhere. Clarke hunched around her hands as Lincoln whipped around and apologized before squatting down and beginning to pick up the food, not noticing everyone’s eyes still on Clarke. Clarke took a deep breath before her eyes darted around to each of her friends. Her gaze stopped as she met the eyes of a gasping Raven, one hand hovering over her mouth while the other one pointed towards her stomach. “You’re pregnant!” So much for trying to keep it a secret. Damn. The amount of ‘oh my gods’ and joyful congratulations that filled the room sent Clarke’s mind buzzing with happiness. Besides the moment she had told Lexa about her pregnancy over the phone and her little chat with Anya her pregnancy hadn’t seemed so much of a good thing. With Lexa’s memories still suppressed somewhere deep in her subconscious Clarke had been questioning if their unborn child had decided to come into their lives at the wrong point in time. But, with all her friends happily surrounding her as they pulled her into a giant group hug, Clarke’s doubts were instantly washed away.“Oh my god! Clarke! You’re going to be a mother! Holy shit I’m going to be an aunt! Oh my god!” Octavia shouted happily, bouncing up and down as she tentatively placed a hand over her bump.“Uh, who said you get to be an aunt? I know for damn sure I’m going to be the number one aunt to this baby. And the godmother,” Raven smugly commented.“You’re going to have to fight us all over that, including Anya. Might cause a feud between you and her that will put your sex lives on hold for a bit.”Clarke laughed at Echo’s response and Raven’s eye roll. While the three women continued to argue over who was going to be her child’s number one aunt Clarke turned around as Bellamy and Lincoln both gave her large grins.“Congrats, princess. I know it’s probably not the best timing but you know we’re all here for you. Even that crazy gaggle of females,” Bellamy said as she pulled her into a hug.“Thanks, Bell. I know they mean well but if they continue to argue I’m going to kick them all out.”Both men laughed at her response before the small group of females joined the laughing trio.“What’s so funny over here?” Octavia said as she jabbed Bellamy in the arm.“Nothing, just Clarke saying she was going to kick you all out if you didn’t stop arguing,” Lincoln stated as he wrapped an arm around Octavia’s waist.Raven scoffed from her spot next to Clarke,“Please, she wouldn’t kick us out even if we destroyed her home studio.”Clarke gave Raven a ‘don’t you even think about it’ look causing everyone around them to laugh causing Raven to roll her eyes,“I’m only joking. You know you’d still love me even if I did.”“Okay, skipping over that. Clarke, why did you look like a deer caught in the head lights when we found out you were pregnant? Didn’t you want us to know?” Lincoln asked her seriously.Clarke looked down at her hands that rested softly over her belly,“Lexa doesn’t even know yet. I haven’t thought of the right way to tell her yet with everything that’s happened. I didn’t want to tell anyone else in fear that it somehow getting back around to her on accident. She’s still not completely comfortable with me and I don’t want to push her away even more by telling her I’m pregnant with our child. It’ll just freak her out. I mean, there’s only so much she can take. Waking up in a hospital, forgetting almost half your life, finding out you’re married to someone you don’t even remember, and then throw a baby on top of that…She’ll be lost even more than she is now.”“With the way Anya was talking it sounded like Lexa had quiet the bitchy mood towards you. Maybe you should tell her. Who knows, it might knock her back on her ass and stick some sense into her. Make her realize she needs to try harder with you,” Raven said cautiously.Clarke pondered Raven’s words for a moment before a deep sigh escaped her lips,“Maybe you’re right. I’m just scared of what she’ll say. I’m scared that she’ll just look at me and say she wants no part in this.”Octavia quickly crossed over to Clarke and pulled her into a firm hug while running her fingers through her blonde hair soothingly,“Lexa loves you, Clarke. Whether she remembers it or not, it’s in her subconscious. There’s no way she would push you away when you tell her your pregnant. It might be a little confusing for her at first but it’ll hurt her more if she finds out before you tell her.”“You’re right. I guess it’s just the hormones messing with my mind. I know Lexa wouldn’t do that, at least not intentionally. I still want to wait to tell her though. At least until my next ultrasound. Will you come with me?” Clarke asked as she pulled away to look at Octavia.“We’ll all come with you,” Echo said as she rested a hand on Clarke’s shoulder.Clarke’s eyes welled up with tears as everyone around her nodded in agreement. She didn’t know what she did in life to deserve such amazing friends, but she was thankful for each and every one of them. Shift in POV (Lexa) Lexa stared down at her phone screen trying to make sure she was at the correct address.After leaving Clarke standing in the front yard Lexa had quickly jogged as far as she possibly could before stopping to take in a much needed lungful of air. She had decided to call a cab after, seeing as to how the place she was heading to was more than a good two hour journey on foot verses twenty minutes by car. Once the yellow vehicle had arrived, she quickly gave the driver the address that she had pulled up and told to him to step on it.Now, she stood in front of a renowned child’s daycare center on the outskirts of Seattle wondering just what she was about to get herself into. Lexa looked down at her phone once more, checking once more to make sure the address on the profile she had pulled up did indeed match the numbers elegantly painted on the building. Taking in a confident breath Lexa forced her legs to carry her up the sidewalk and through the doors of the large building. Upon entering Lexa looked around the lavish lobby area. Seats lined the walls and ahead of her she saw a glass window with a woman siting regally behind it.Making her way over the woman looked up at her as she caught sight of her movement from the corner of her eye and gently opened the window,“Hi welcome to Smiles Childcare. Is there something I can help you with?”“Uh, yes. I was wondering if you could tell me if Costia Groves is here today?” Lexa asked nervously.“She’s actually out today. There were a few things she needed to take care of for the daycare.”“She owns this daycare?”“Yes, ma’am. Started it as soon as she graduated from college. Did you want me to leave a message for her Ms…?”“Lexa. Lexa Woods. And that would be nice, thank you. If you could just tell her that I need to speak with her as soon as possible I would really appreciate it.”The lady nodded happily before jotting down her information, also asking for her contact number,“Okay. I’ll make sure she gets this as soon as she gets back.”Lexa thanked the woman before making her way back outside into the warm Seattle air. When she had looked up Costia’s Facebook profile she was surprised to see her line of work listed as a child’s daycare worker. Costia had never been one for kids when they were younger so it just seemed sort of odd that she would want to own a daycare center herself. Deciding not to dwell on it any further, she made her way back over to the cab where she had kindly asked the driver to wait for her and hopped in before giving the driver the address to a coffee shop that she frequented while at college.A few short minutes later she was handing a few bills to the driver before thanking him and making her way inside the coffee shop. Walking inside Lexa clearly noticed a few visible differences in her favorite hang out, ones that might go unnoticed by a less than frequent customer. The walls were a newly painted color, more modernized tables were scattered through the shop, and Lexa was more than sure that there were quiet a few new drinks on the menu. Lexa chose to ignore the changes for the moment as she made a beeline for the counter to order herself a much needed coffee and muffin before taking a seat at one of the tables near the large front window.As Lexa munched on her blueberry muffin she stared out the window and watched the dozens of people, some mostly college students, rushing down the sidewalks, not remotely aware of the war battling inside her head. Thoughts rushed around Lexa’s mind like a category five hurricane. There were so many things in the surrounding area that were the same as when she was in college, but there were just as equally as many differences. As a soft pounding began in the back of her head Lexa decided to close her eyes for a moment and take a sip of her half empty coffee, trying to ease away her swirling thoughts.“Lexa. What the hell are you doing?”Lexa’s eyes snapped open at the sound of her sisters voice and looked to her left to see a fuming Anya stomping her way towards her.“I’m having coffee. Is that some kind of crime now a days?”“That’s not what I mean and you know it. Why the hell did you run out on Clarke? She called me saying you snapped at her and just started walking to town. Do you know how worried she probably is right now? You could have at least told her where you were going!” Anya chided as she towered above her.“I just felt like being alone and she more than likely would have followed me if I told her where I was going if she’s so worried. But I guess it seems I can’t escape you,” Lexa said with a huff.Lexa was suddenly pulled from her seat as Anya grabbed a hold of her arm and began pulling her towards the exit,“What the hell are you doing? Let go!”“No way in hell. We’re going for a walk.”Lexa stopped struggling and just looked back in longing at her forgotten cup of coffee and her half eaten muffin as Anya pulled her out of the coffee shop and down the sidewalk.The two sisters soon found themselves walking around a park about ten minutes from the coffee shop. Being a school day the park was devoid of any children, only the few casual joggers who didn’t even spare them a single glance. Lexa dragged her feet awkwardly as she waited for Anya to speak. To say anything. She hadn’t said a word to Lexa after pulling her out of the coffee shop and it was starting to weigh down on Lexa’s mind. She knew her sister wasn’t in the best of moods with her, but she had her reasons. One’s she’d rather not divulge at the moment.“So are you going to tell me where you went or are we just going to keep walking around until you do?” Anya said beside her.“I visited a few old college hangouts before going to the coffee shop. That’s when you found me. Nothing special.”Lexa looked up at Anya as she nodded her head, still starting straight ahead of her,“Why couldn’t you let Clarke come with you? She’s only trying to help you through this, Lexa. Why won’t you just let her?”Suddenly Lexa felt every emotion that she was suppressing rise to the forefront of her mind at Anya’s words. She hung her head and let her hair form a curtain on both sides of her face to keep Anya from seeing the conflicting emotions flickering in her emerald eyes. "I’m not worth her time.” The words had come out as a mere whisper and Lexa wasn’t sure that Anya had heard her. But when Anya placed a comforting hand on her arm she was positive that she had.“You’re not worth her time? Lexa, Clarke loves you. She’s not going to give you up so easily. Why would you think you’re not worth her time?”“I snap at her Anya. I get mad at her because I can’t remember who she is or who I am to her. I take it out on her even though I don’t really mean to. I see the hurt in her eyes when I can’t remember something that she tells me about and something inside of me breaks every time I see it. I just don’t think I can handle that anymore and it’s only been a few days since the accident. There’s no telling when or if my memories will come back! What am I supposed to do then? Just continue to watch her get hurt every time she brings up something I can’t remember? I can’t do that, Anya. The best thing I can do right now is push her away so I’m not hurting her anymore.”Lexa’s head snapped to the side when Anya’s hand suddenly connected harshly with her cheek. Her long fingers went to hold the throbbing flesh that was now an angry red as she looked at her sister in disbelief.“Are you serious? You think pushing Clarke away is going to make her pain go away? I know you can be stupid sometimes, Lex, but this is just outright ridiculous. Clarke would do anything for you. Would go to the ends of the Earth to help you bring back your memories. She would still love you even if they didn’t come back! Because you know why? You may not remember everything but Clarke does. Your wife does. You can’t just push everything away and pretend like it never happened because she will still remember all those good times you shared! You’ll hurt her even more if you just up and leave her. And you know what you do if your memories don't return?”Lexa shook her head, still holding her cheek.“You make new ones. You live the rest of your life with Clarke. I know just by the way that you’re talking about her that deep down you know you feel something special between you both. So, don’t ruin it. And I know you tried to find Costia. Don’t try to deny it because I could smell your lie from a mile away. Don’t ruin what you have with Clarke by trying to meet with her. Listen to me when I tell you it’s not worth it. I know you may want to see her because she may be one of the only things that you honestly remember but it’ll just bring a whole other mess into this situation. And it’s the last thing Clarke needs right now.”Lexa noticed the softness that filled Anya’s voice at her last comment about Clarke. The way her tone was set made Lexa think that there was just more to it than Clarke’s emotions at stake, but she didn’t question it. Instead she allowed her sisters words to buzz around in her head. The past few days when Clarke had brought up any sort of memory that she thought she may remember Lexa had seen the hopeful light in Clarke’s eyes growing dimmer and dimmer each time she told her she didn’t remember anything. That’s the reason Lexa never shared her flashes of memories with Clarke or her sister. She had a fear that she would get their hopes up only for her not to remember a single thing past those flashes. And something inside her couldn’t stand to see that dying light in Clarke’s eyes.She knew that lashing out at Clarke and making herself think that the flashes were manipulated images brought on by Clarke’s stories weren’t the best way to help herself remember, but she couldn’t take it anymore. Lexa thought the best thing for her, for Clarke, was for her to just leave. But to be honest it was just her being selfish. Her not wanting to see that light getting dimmer in Clarke’s eyes each day. Anya had been right when she said that Costia was one of the last things she truly remembered. She figured if she could find Costia she could pick back up where they had left off, at least where they left off in Lexa’s mind, she would be able to push Clarke out of her mind for good. She was being selfish. Lexa hid her fear in anger and lashed out at any moment she could get, especially at Clarke. All because she didn’t want to face the hurt that she caused those around her because of her forgotten memories. Her train of thought had automatically brought her to Costia. The one she remember, the one she thought she loved. Lexa figured if she could find Costia and reconnect with her then maybe she could hide away from the pain she caused others. Clarke and Anya had mentioned her five other friends before she left the hospital and she could only imagine their faces when she told each and every one of them she didn’t recognize them. Damn selfish. With what Anya just told her seconds ago it felt like her brain was being pulled in two. One side begged her to work things out with Clarke, to endure the pain. And the other, well it chose the easy route out. The cowards way out. Nothing seemed right anymore in Lexa’s mind. Between the swirling emotions of wanting to stay away from Clarke and run to Costia and wanting nothing more then to comfort her unfamiliar wife, Lexa didn’t know what to do.“I want to try and remember. Really this time. Under on condition,” Lexa said quietly.“And what’s the condition?” Anya asked tentatively, knowing she wasn’t going to like the answer.“I want to see Costia. If you want me to work things out with Clarke then I at least need to hear from her if what you said she did was true. That way I can put it behind me.”Anya really didn’t like her damn answer. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Lexa found herself watching the busy streets of Seattle pass by as she stared out the window of Anya’s car. After her compromise with her sister Lexa had explained how she tried to get in touch with Costia and how she had left her contact information with her employer. Anya had stated that it was now a waiting game. To see if the woman wanted to see Lexa or not. And Lexa hoped she did.She wanted all this cleared up, but more than anything she wanted to see Costia. The person who was not a complete stranger in her head. That didn’t make her feel things that she didn’t know she could feel for a stranger. She just hoped that Costia wasn’t too different from the person she was in college.Now, after Anya had all but pushed her into the car, she was on her way back to the house, already dreading having to see Clarke after her little stunt. When they pulled into the driveway the first thing Lexa took notice in was the deep grey SUV parked next to their Escalade. Great. Visitors.Anya quickly explained that it was just a few of their really close friends and that she shouldn’t worry, too much. Lexa hopped begrudgingly out the car and followed behind Anya as they made their way into the house. Looking around Lexa noticed it was eerily quite until suddenly a petite brunette came rushing from the hallway, water gun in hand.“Dammit, Raven! That shit is cold!”A Latina, who Lexa assumed to be Raven, followed closely behind the brunette, her own water gun in her hand as she shot at the female,“It’s not supposed to be hot! Now, hold still so I can shot you!”Both women, clearly not noticing the sisters standing at the entrance, quickly disappeared into the kitchen, both letting out war cries. It wasn’t until a few seconds later that Clarke, clearly hiding, came tiptoeing down the stairs. Lexa’s throat suddenly felt parched as she watched the blonde walk carefully down the stairs, a large water gun held up in defense, in a teal bikini. She was finally able to tear her eyes off the blonde’s body when she finally made it down to the last step and looked at the sisters.“Are Raven and Octavia gone?”“They ran into the kitchen, probably going to the backyard, letting out a few vicious war cries,” Anya stated as she sat her purse on the floor by the front door.“Good,” Clarke’s eyes drifted to Lexa’s,“Hey. I’m glad Anya hasn’t killed you yet.”Lexa felt a nervous blush spread over her cheeks,“I probably deserve it though. I’m sorry for walking out on you like that. It was stupid of me.”Clarke quickly waved her off,“It’s okay. I get it. You wanted to be alone. But do it again and you’ll be sleeping on the floor. Not the couch. The floor.”Lexa audibly gulped at the death glare the blonde gave her before it quickly disappeared from her face. Clarke held her water gun back up from where it dangled at her side and pointed it around the open space before looking over at Anya.“You haven’t seen Bellamy or Lincoln yet, have you?”“Nope. Just Rae and O running around like wild monkeys.”Before Clarke had time to respond two men, one looking a lot like the petite brunette that had run through earlier and the other a tall, tan, well built man who looked more like a large teddy bear than anything, came rushing towards Clarke, water guns aimed at her. War cries filled the room and Clarke took off running back up the stairs before she could be blasted with the cold water. After the trio had disappeared upstairs, Lexa glanced over, clearly confused, at Anya who simply shrugged her shoulders.Another few moments passed before Clarke came rushing back down the stairs, not a single strand of hair wet, laughing the entire time. As she disappeared towards the kitchen the two men, dripping wet, ran down the stairs after Clarke, yelling for payback. Lexa was beyond confused at the entire situation and looked over to her sister for more guidance.Anya held her hands up and raised her eyebrows,“Don’t look at me. They were your friends first.”Lexa shook her head before following the water trail towards the kitchen and out the sliding glass door that she hadn’t seemed to notice while eating earlier. Upon walking outside Lexa watched the water gun fight that was breaking out in front of her. The group ran around the grassy area that stretched past the pool, water squirting in every direction as they fired at each other hazardously. Clearly the girls had teamed up against the boys as they focused on shooting the two large men instead of each other. It wasn’t long before Clarke’s water gun was knocked gently out of her hand and was being picked up bridal style by the tan man, wiggling the entire time.“I swear to god, Lincoln, if you throw me in you’ll never be allowed back here again!”“Well it’s a good thing I don’t live here,” Lincoln said casually as he walked up to the pool.Lexa watched as the scene was about to unfold before Anya suddenly appeared beside Lincoln, whispering in his ear and resting an arm on his hand as she gave him a knowing looking. Lincoln looked at her expectantly and gave her a firm nod before turning his attention back on the blonde in his arms. As he got to the edge of the pool he held Clarke out above it before smirking wildly at her.“Are you ready, Clarke?”“Put me down you ass!” Clarke shouted as she continued to wiggle.“Okay, whatever you say.”Lexa, more than half expected for Lincoln to just drop her like deadweight, was surprised when Lincoln leaned down and lowered Clarke to the surface of the water before letting her slide out his hands. Clarke didn’t even go underwater as Lincoln fully released her. Lexa saw Clarke roll her eyes at the smiling man before splashing water up at him and huffing.“I was almost fully dry until you and Bellamy brought out the water guns! I’m blaming you both for this! Oh, and you’re both cleaning the water mess upstairs!”Lexa watched, somewhat amused, as the blonde waded through the water to the steps and climbed out. Water dripped down the curves of Clarke’s body, shining brightly in the afternoon sun, as she pulled her thankfully still dry hair up into a bun. Lexa’s eyes shifted to the back of her slender neck where a few baby curls laid against the nape of her neck. Lexa felt the sudden urge to tangle her fingers in those fine baby hairs as Clare grabbed a hold of a nearby towel resting on a chair and wrapped it around herself.The blonde turned around to face her and gave her a gentle smile,“How about you meet everyone. I’m sure I can stop their water fight long enough to reintroduce everyone.”Lexa took in a deep breath threw her nose and nodded her head,“I think I’d like that.”Clarke’s smile shifted into a splitting grin as she ran over to the still battling group and shouted out something to them causing them to stop in their tracks. They all huddled around Clarke as she quietly spoke to them. Each one nodded their heads before placing their guns at their feet and following behind Clarke as she walked towards her.Lexa’s chest suddenly felt tight as they grew closer. She knew this must be hard for them, from being close friends to suddenly being complete strangers. It couldn’t be any worse than what was going on between her and Clarke, though. As the group finally reached her they formed a half circle in front of her.Clarke came beside her before beginning to point everyone out as she named them,“Lexa, this is Lincoln, Octavia, Raven, and Bellamy. We met them in college during our sophomore year. Water guns were involved. It’s a really weird story. I’ll tell you later.”Lexa waved awkwardly at the group in front of her before Bellamy suddenly looked around in confusion,“Where the hell is Echo?”Everyone looked around, finally noticing the woman was gone, until a shout came from behind Bellamy,“Right here!”Bellamy turned around just in time to get a face full of icy water causing everyone around him to bust out into fits of laughter. Even Lexa found herself letting out a few giggles.“And that is Echo,” Clarke said through laughs.Anya suddenly walked up from behind Lexa, glancing at a stuttering Bellamy,“Damn. I missed the good shit didn’t I?”“You sure did, babe,” Raven said as she walked up to Anya and wrapped an arm around her waist.Lexa’s eyebrows shot up as she looked between the two females,“Wait. Is something going on between you two?”Raven rolled her eyes, seeming to forget Lexa’s lack of memories,“Duh. We’ve been dating for almost a year now. Don’t you reme—…I’m sorry.”Raven quickly stopped herself before you could continue her rant, realizing that it wasn’t the best choice of words. Anya had elbowed her in the ribs before turning to give Lexa a lopsided grin.“She tends to forget things easily. Just ignore her. Most of us do.”Raven shouted out in protect as everyone around them began agreeing with her sister. As Lexa glanced around the group she could easily tell why she was friends with them. Each of them had their very own unique personalities, something that Lexa always admired in people. They all showed off true strength and most of all acted as if they were a family instead of mere friends, if what she had already seen was anything to go by.Before long Lexa found herself sitting on the patio sofa, surrounded by her friends, as they retold her as many stories as they possibly could. Lexa may not have been able to recall anything they shared but there was one thing that Lexa was certain of. That someday, even if she didn’t regain her memories, she would close with these people once more.And, as they sat around each other in the dying sunlight, Lexa had felt more at peace than she ever had since waking up in that hospital bed.Lexa waved goodbye as her friends and sister backed out of the driveway before disappearing down the road.After a few hours of talking Clarke had heated up a plate of food for Lexa, which her growling stomach was eternally grateful for, and gave her a soft smile as she watched her scarf down the food. After Lexa had eaten, the friends shared a few more stories before finally deciding to call it a night. They helped the couple clean up around the house before gathering their stuff and taking off, finally leaving Lexa and Clarke alone.Lexa shuffled back inside the house and, after locking the door, made her way up the stairs where Clarke was more than likely sleeping in their bedroom. It still felt a little strange for Lexa to say their bedroom but she was slowly getting used to it. When she entered the room she was surprised not the find the blonde laying soundly asleep in the large bed. Lexa backed out the door as she heard a small noise come from the other side of the house and made her way across the open balcony to the other hallway.She heard the noise again and finally came to a cracked door to her right and peaked inside. Looking around, Lexa noticed the large white backdrop, umbrella lights facing the stark fabric, as well as a tripod in the middle. This must be the home studio that Anya had somehow managed to slip into their conversation when she explained what Clarke’s job was. Walking further inside she noticed a small movement at the side of the room and saw Clarke sitting down at a desk staring at the bright computer screen in front of her.Lexa silently walked up behind her as she watched the blonde. Clarke banged her fist lightly against the desk, the sound Lexa assumed she had heard, before letting her head fall onto the wooden desk before her. Lexa’s eyebrow rose as she looked at the computer screen and what looked to be an appointment application showing on the bright screen.“Having problems?”Clarke almost flew from her seat as Lexa squatted down next to her,“Jesus, Lexa. Why would you sneak up on me? I frighten easily! You’re going to give me a heart attack one day!”“Sorry. I just didn’t find you in the bedroom and I heard a noise coming from in here and just kinda walked in. You looked like you were struggling while you hit the table, thought you could use some help,” Lexa said sheepishly.Clarke’s eyes roamed Lexa’s as they stared at each other for a moment before Clarke turned her gaze back to the computer,“It’s no big deal, really. I’m just having some rescheduling issues with a client. Any day that works for me doesn’t work for her. It’s frustrating.”“What about this day?”Lexa pointed at an empty space under ‘Thursday’ before glancing back at Clarke. The woman had become stiff, for reasons unknown to Lexa, before shaking her head.“I, uh, I have to bring Octavia somewhere that day. It won’t work.”Lexa had a nagging feeling that that wasn’t the entire truth but decided not to press any further,“Oh, okay. Well then that blows that. What about next week?”“I’m all clear next week, but she wants them done this week. I’ve tried to talk her into doing them next week but she insisted that she can’t wait that long,” Clarke said as she rested her head in her hands.“How about this? Maybe you could call another client that you have scheduled this week and explain the situation and possibly see about rescheduling them for next week and put her in that spot?”Clarke’s head shot out of her hands as she gave a dazzling smile to Lexa,“Lex! You’re a genius! Mrs. Smith has a shoot this week and she’s a regular! She’ll more than understand and will be happy to move days! Oh my god, thank you!”Clarke quickly jotted down a few notes on the notebook next to the computer before swiftly standing from her chair and pulling Lexa into a hug. Lexa froze for a moment before letting her arms wrap securely around the blonde. The arms. The way her hands splayed over her back. The warmth surging through her body. It all felt too familiar. And Lexa found herself becoming frustrated that she couldn’t remember this amazing touch that could awaken such a warmth in her.They held on to each other for a few moments before Lexa placed her hands on Clarke’s arms and pushed her back slightly. They’re faces were still pretty close as Lexa’s emerald eyes gazed into Clarke’s ocean blue orbs. Lexa’s tongue darted out to moisten her suddenly dry lips and watched as Clarke’s eyes followed it’s quick movements.“I…I want to try something,” Lexa said timidly.All Clarke could respond with was a nod as she waited for Lexa to make her move. Lexa pursed her lips before letting one hand slip behind Clarke’s neck to tangle in the baby hairs she so desperately wanted to feel earlier that day. Clarke’s eyes fluttered closed at the feeling and Lexa watched as the blonde’s lips parted open in a soft gasp. Lexa’s other hand firmly held onto Clarke’s hips as she pulled their bodies closer their body heat melding together. Lexa’s heart sped up as she pushed her head forwards so she could get closer to Clarke’s lips. She hesitated as her lips came within a hairs width of Clarke’s and almost backed away until she heard a tiny word being muttered from the lips before her. “Please.” That one little words had Lexa surging forward to capture velvety lips between her own. Their lips crashed tougher desperately, as if they had been searching for each other for years. Lexa’s hand that rested on Clarke’s hips wrapped around the woman’s waist and pulled her impossibly closer. Clarke’s hands flew up into her hair and tilted her head for better access to the brunette’s mouth.Lexa suddenly broke away from Clarke’s lips and rested their foreheads together as they tried to catch their breath. Emerald eyes peered open to stare at the gasping blonde before her. A very strong desire suddenly filled Lexa. The desire to see Clarke, body bare beneath her, as her back arched deliciously off the bed as she rose to new highs. That desire was one that Lexa couldn’t force herself to push down. One that she didn’t think she could push down.She wasn’t surprised at the surprised yelp that left Clarke’s lips as she hoisted her up onto the empty space on the desk next to them. It didn’t take the blonde long to realize what was happening before Lexa’s lips were on her’s again. Chests heaved as Lexa explored Clarke’s lips with her own, before running her tongue along the blonde’s plump bottom lip, asking for entrance. Once granted she pushed her tongue inside and began a battle of dominance with Clarke’s tongue. To busy to care who won, Lexa began exploring her moist cavern, moaning as she felt Clarke’s hands scratch at her back through her shirt.Lexa broke away and pulled her shirt above her head and tossed it to the floor next to her. She sighed pleasantly as Clarke’s hands resumed their previous position on her back, desperately craving to feel the taunt skin under them. Lexa trailed her lips across Clarke’s jaw before running down her neck and over her bare shoulder. The brunette’s hands smoothed over her back before coming into contact with the strings of the bikini that she still wore. As she tried to tug on the knot securing it around her, she felt Clarke’s hands on her arms.“Wait,” Clarke husked out.Lexa backed away slightly as she looked at Clarke,“I’m sorry. I thought—.”Clarke quickly shushed her with a finger to her lips,“No. It’s not that I don’t want this, I just don’t think it’s the right time. Trust me. I really want this but I think we should wait a bit.”Lexa nodded, silently disappointed but understanding.“I want this with you so bad, Lexa. I do. But I think we need to be reacquainted with each other before we take it to that step. There’s still a few things I need to share with you as well, but they’ll have to wait a few more days,” Clarke said quietly as she trailed a finger along Lexa’s jaw.“What things?”“Just things. Don’t worry about it for now.”Silence filled the space around the for a moment before Lexa spoke,“Clarke. I don’t think I can say it enough, but I’m still sorry about this morning. I wasn’t really thinking about how much I worried you. I just needed to get away and clear my head. Anya gave me a stern talking to and made me see things a little clearer. I want to work this out with you. To try and remember everything. Seriously.”Clarke smiled happily before eyeing her closely,“I’m glad to hear that. More than you’ll ever know, but there’s something else. What did you talk to Anya about?”Lexa swallowed past the lump that had formed in her throat as she tried to come up with a logical way to get out of the conversation they were currently holding. It was one thing to tell Anya about her fears, but it was a whole different ball game with telling Clarke. Lexa knew she wouldn’t be able to tell her just yet.“Maybe I can tell you later. I’m not really comfortable talking about it just yet.”Clarke nodded,“Okay. I understand. I’m here when you’re ready to talk. You can talk to me about anything. Even if it’s something about me.”Lexa stared gratefully at Clarke as her blue eyes shimmered happily. Somehow those ocean blue eyes calmed her while also awakening something within her. This girl was special. Lexa could see that now. Her fears were slowly fading away. Little by little. Maybe she wouldn’t be the cause of that disappearing light in Clarke’s eyes. Maybe she made that light brighter. Urged it to grow everyday until it overwhelmed everyone around her.Lexa moved closer to Clarke’s lips, gauging her reaction only to have the blonde nod in acceptance, before closing her lips around her’s in a soft kiss. And, as they lazily basked in each other’s embrace, Lexa allowed herself to think that maybe she could get through this.That they could get through this. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Thursday had rolled around before the couple knew it. Anya had been slowly reintroducing Lexa back into her roll as CEO of her company, something that Lexa had a difficult time adjusting to but slowly fell back into place with. Lexa and Clarke had shared nothing more than a few innocent kisses after the night in Clarke’s home studio. The brunette couldn’t seem to stop blushing every time she thought back to how she had almost lost herself in the blonde’s body.Over the past few days Clarke had also invited their friends to come over as much as possible so that Lexa could become reacquainted with them all once more, while also hoping the jar any memories. Lexa had grown quite close to the constantly bickering group of adults, seeming to enjoy her self more and more each day. She was certain that Clarke had seen the change in her demeanor, if her smile each time someone brought up a random story about herself was anything to go by.But, somewhere in the back of her mind, Lexa still felt lost. Lost because she knew these people, that shared multiple stories about their many adventures from college to the present, but she still didn’t remember them. And that’s what frustrated Lexa to no end. Every time a new story found floated from out of her friend’s mouths she couldn’t help the fact that it sounded so much like something she would do, but she also couldn’t help the fact that she just couldn’t remember doing it.She tried each and every day and still she came out with nothing.She tried to remember.But to Lexa, it seemed her memories were a lost cause.Lexa had initially been scared of the joyous light dimming in Clarke’s eyes, but she never took into account the fact that maybe her own light was dimming as well. The many stories that Clarke had told her as they laid next to each other in bed at night made her heart squeeze painfully in her chest with each intimate detail the blonde gave her. Lexa had been so concerned about hurting the others around her that she didn’t realize she was hurting as well. Sure, she had her fears, but her fears and her pain were two different things. Lexa was hurting because of the fact that she still couldn’t seem to bring any of her damn memories to the surface about the loving people that surrounded her day in and day out. Especially Clarke.But she pushed that all aside.She didn’t care about her pain. Not if it meant that those around her were happy. Maybe then, in the end, she would be happy too.Lexa walked out of the bathroom dressed in a women’s fitted suit and a pair of black heels. If there was one things she liked about being some top shot CEO, it was definitely the clothes. Oh, and the house. Can’t forget the house.Lexa checked her reflection in the mirror above the dresser one last time before grabbing her purse from the bed and making her way downstairs. Through the week her and Clarke had fallen into a morning routine of sorts. She would get ready for work while Clarke made breakfast and while they ate they chatted about their plans for the day and other small things. As Lexa walked downstairs and into the kitchen the sweet aroma of pancakes wafted into her nose.“That smells really good,” Lexa said as she walked to stand beside Clarke.The blonde was still dressed in her pajamas consisting of a loose t-shirt and, thankfully, and pair of nike shorts. Clarke flipped over a pancake before looking up at her and giving her a smug smile.“That’s because I’m the best damn cook in this house. Everything I make smells good.”“Cocky, aren’t we?”“Very.”Lexa shook her head as she busied herself with pulling out plates and cups for orange juice. She and Clarke had become much more familiar with each other. Well, at least Lexa became more familiar with Clarke. Talking with the blonde came easier to her know and she wasn’t quite as nervous as she used to be around her wife. Even so, the small kisses that would pass unsuspectedly between the two would still send a blush creeping up Lexa’s neck.After Clarke finished the rest of the pancakes she thankfully grabbed the plates from the brunette’s hands and placed three on each plate. She also reached over and grabbed a handful of fresh strawberries from the container next to the stove and placed a few around the pancakes.Clarke handed Lexa one of the plates with a soft smile,“Here you go. The strawberries are from the farmers market. I know how you like them to be as fresh as possible.”“Thank you, Clarke.”Making their way to the island both women each took a seat right next to each other on one of the many stools. As they ate they fell into light conversation about their busy day ahead.“I remember you said you had to take Octavia somewhere today. Anywhere special?”Clarke paused with her pancake full fork in midair as the brunette’s words reached her ears,“Uh, no. Just a little shopping. Maybe get some lunch. Raven’s coming along too so I’m pretty sure it’s going to be an eventful day.”Noticing the blonde’s hesitation in her answer the brunette grew suspicious but decided not to point anything out,“Oh, okay.”“What about you? I’m pretty sure you have a busy day at work. With trying to fall back into routine and everything.”“Yeah. It’s been a little tough but with Anya’s help it’s been getting a lot easier. We’ve got a board meeting this afternoon that I’m not looking forward to at all. I’m still lacking in the whole ‘future plans for the company’ department and now I’m supposed to explain it to a bunch of guys in suits,” Lexa mused before taking a bite of a strawberry.Clarke rested a hand comfortingly on her shoulder,“That’s why you have Anya. She’s not going to let you go in there blind. She’ll be right by your side to help you through all of it. If you’re not ready just let her take over. No one’s going to look down on you for it, Lexa. I mean, you lost your memories. You can’t just pick up from where you left off.”Lexa searched Clarke’s eyes and gave her a gentle smile at her words. This had become the norm for them. Almost everyday there was something Lexa was nervous about and Clarke always seemed to be there to push that away and replace it with new found confidence. Emerald eyes couldn’t stop themselves as they flickered down to the velvet pink lips of Clarke, who unconsciously darted her tongue out to run it across her bottom lip. Lexa felt her body gravitate towards Clarke’s, suddenly both aware of the lack of space between them. Right as their lips hovered over each other’s, barley a breath between them, the sound of Raven’s shout caused them both to jump apart.“We’re here, princess! Where are yo—,” Raven stopped as saw the blushing couple who looked at everything but each other,“Am I interrupting something?”Clarke cleared her throat before turning in her stool to look at the Latina,“No. Lexa and I were just talking about our plans for the day. Where’s Octavia?”“Raven decided to leave me in the car and lock me out. You can walk home, now,” Octavia said as she pushed Raven from the kitchen entrance, finally making her appearance.“It’s not my fault you move like a turtle. Next time you should try and keep up.”“Bit me,” Octavia snapped which earned her a wink from Raven before she looked over at Clarke,“Well, judging by your state of dress I’m guessing you’re not ready to leave.”“Sorry. My stomach was eating itself with hunger and I had to make a good breakfast! Just let me clean this up and get changed and we can leave,” Clarke said as she picked up her now empty plate.Octavia stalked over to the blonde and took the plate from her hands,“You just worry about getting dressed. I’ll clean this up. Rae, take her upstairs.”Raven began pushing a protesting Clarke out of the kitchen and up the stairs causing Lexa to giggle softly. Octavia quickly began cleaning their mess from breakfast, asking Lexa if she was finished with her plate.“Yeah. I should be going. Anya will be waiting for me to help go over the notes before our meeting. I’ll see you later, O.”Octavia threw a quick goodbye over her shoulder as she continued to wash the dirty dishes. Deciding that she didn’t want to leave with out telling the other two women goodbye, Lexa pushed her way up the stairs and towards the bedroom. As she neared the room Lexa heard hushed whispers coming through the cracked door.“Why haven’t you told her yet, Clarke? I’m sure she’ll be more than excited. Maybe a little lost at first but it’ll grow on her once you tell her everything,” Raven said quietly.“It’s just not the right time yet, Rae. Were making so much progress and I don’t want to push her away by telling her too early. Just promise me you won’t let anything slip. She’ll be angry if she hears it from someone who’s not me,” Clarke shot back.“I promise, but you need to tell her. It’s going to be pretty obvious pretty soon. I mean what with your be—,” Raven was cut off by a shush from Clarke.“Hush. She might hear you. Sound travels really easy in this house.”Not hearing anything pass between the two girls the next few moments Lexa waited just a tad bit longer before rasping her knuckles against the door and pushing it open. She was met with a wide eyed Raven sitting on their couch glancing back at her with Clarke standing in front of her now fully dressed in a pair of white shorts and navy blue v-neck.“Hey, just wanted to let you know I’m heading out. I’ll be home later this evening if everything turns out okay at the office.”Clarke made her way over to the brunette and pulled her into a hug before placing a chaste kiss to her lips,“Thanks for letting me know. I’ll see you when I get home. How does shrimp Alfredo sound for dinner?”“Sounds perfect. I’ll call you before I leave the office. Bye.”Clarke gave her one last kiss before letting her pull away from her,“Bye.”Lexa made her way down the hallway and back down the stairs before shouting out a ‘goodbye’ to Octavia and making her way out the door. As she hopped into the Escalade, finally cleared by her doctor to drive, she couldn’t help but think of the unspoken words that she knew lingered on Clarke’s tongue. I love you. Lexa knew the woman desperately wanted to tell her every time she left in the morning but alway held herself back. And Lexa was thankful for that. She wasn’t fully sure if she was ready to say that to Clarke, no matter how her body and mind reacted to the blonde.At least, not yet. Shift in POV (Clarke) After saying goodbye to Lexa, Clarke and Raven had made their way back down to the kitchen so they could help Octavia finish up before they took their leave. After turning off all the lights and making sure everything was locked up the three women made their way to Octavia’s SUV and hopped in so they could make their way towards the city. Clarke listened silently to the lyrics of Maroon 5’s Cold as she tried to prepare herself for the appointment ahead.If felt strange not bringing Lexa with her to the OBGYN for a check up on their child. She knew it was only her to blame for her wife not being present because she simply hadn’t told her yet. But, to her, it never seemed like the right time to tell her. Every time her mind wondered to the subject all she could see was Lexa hightailing out the door never to be seen again. Honestly, Clarke was ashamed of herself for not giving the brunette the credit she deserved. She knew, memories or not, that Lexa would never truly leave her to raise this baby on her own. She just knew it. As her thought process dwindled down she felt Raven place a hand on her shoulder from the back seat,“You doing okay, princess?”Clarke looked back at her and softly nodded her head,“Yeah. Just thinking about how weird it is that Lexa isn’t here, but I know that’s my doing. It’s not her fault.”“You know she would be here if you would have told her already. I’m not pressuring you or anything but the longer you wait to tell her the more likely it will be that she may be upset or angry,” Octavia said while concentrating on the road ahead of her.“I get it, O. I do. But I just can’t seem to find the courage to tell her. Every time I work myself up to do it I end up chickening out in the end. I’m scared of her reaction. That she won’t want the baby, but I know that’s just my inner self being an idiot.”“And you’re right. Memories or no memories Lexa wouldn’t leave you to do this on your own, Clarke. But if she does, we’ll be sure to smack some damn sense into that hard ass head of her’s,” Raven said confidently.“If that happens, you won’t be alone, Clarke. You’ll have all of us and Anya would never leave behind her nephew or niece. We’re going to help you through all of this, and hopefully Lexa will too,” Octavia said as she reached a hand over to grasp Clarke’s.“Thanks, you guys. I know I can always count on you,” Clarke said through watery eyes.“Don’t you dare cry, princess. You’re going to make Octavia cry and then we’ll all be a big mess of tears,” Raven said, pretending that she wasn’t wiping a stray tear from her own eyes.“Too late, Rae,” Octavia said quietly as she glanced over to Clarke for a split second.All three women laughed as the SUV suddenly filled with the sound of sniffling noses as they tried to control their tears. The rest of the ride was spent talking, mostly between Octavia and Raven, about how excited they were to see Clarke’s ultrasound. As her two best friends continued to chat happily Clarke let her hands wonder over the small curve of her baby bump with a smile. “Maybe I can tell her tonight. I don’t know why I’m so scared. I know she’ll love you just as much as I do.” Clarke let her thoughts wander for a moment, visions of Lexa’s bright smile lighting the room as she received her surprise news, and couldn’t help it when she smile doubled in size.Tonight.She was finally going to tell Lexa she was pregnant.“Okay, this is going to be a little cold.”After her examination with her obstetrician, Dr. Patel, Clarke eagerly waited as she started up the ultrasound machine. Octavia and Raven stood happily by her side each holding onto her left hand as they watched the middle aged doctor pour the gel onto her stomach. Clarke held her breath as Dr. Patel gently began to roll the probe across her lower stomach. She heard her friends short intakes of breath as her little Bean suddenly appeared on the screen.“And there’s your baby, Mrs. Woods. Let’s get a few pictures and I’ll take a closer look so I can tell you about how far along you are,” Dr. Patel said with a kind smile.As the doctor began pushing multiple buttons on the machine Clarke’s eyes stayed locked onto the screen. Her little Bean seemed just a tad bigger than her ultrasound the night of the crash. Her heart swelled as it truly and utterly hit her that she was growing a child inside of her. Her and Lexa’s child. Their’s. Dr. Patel finished messing with the machine and turned back to Clarke,“Okay, we’ll have those at the front desk waiting for you before you leave. Now, let’s take a closer look at your little baby.”The obstetrician once again began turning a few knobs and pressing some buttons on the ultrasound machine before sitting up straighter in her seat and looking closely at the screen. A few minutes passed in silence as the small group of friends let the doctor closely examine the black and white image of the baby. Clarke’s heart began beating rapidly in her chest when Dr. Patel just continued to stare at the screen with scrutinizing eyes. Right as Clarke thought she was about to combust in the silence the ebony haired doctor turned off the screen and turned to her with a smile before handing her some paper towels to wipe the gel from her stomach.“Well, Mrs. Woods, it looks like you’re about nine weeks along. Everything is looking normal and your baby is completely healthy. There is, however, one question I would like to ask.”“What question?” Clarke said nervously.“You and your wife conceived this child with your eggs and her artificial sperm, correct?”Clarke nodded her head as she remembered jotting down that ‘little’ piece of information on her paperwork,“Yes. We both agreed that we wanted the child to be apart of us both and that was one of our only options. Why? Is there something wrong with it?”“No, not at all. It’s just, with it being such a rare case and there not being a full background on the side effects during the pregnancy I would like to see you in here at least twice a month instead of just once a month.. That way we can keep an extra eye on you and the baby and make sure everything is running smoothly through the duration of the pregnancy.”Clarke let out a small breath of relief,“Uh, yeah. I think I’d be more comfortable with that, too.”“Good. Now, let me just write you a prescription for your prenatal vitamins and we’ll get you on your way,” Dr. Patel said before scribbling something down on the prescription pad next to her and handing it to Clarke,“There you go. Your pictures will be at the desk and the receptionist will set you up with your next appointment. I hope you ladies enjoy the rest of your day.”Clarke placed the prescription in her purse as the doctor walked out the door. Raven and Octavia helped her sit up from the bed and helped her readjust her shirt. After she hopped down from the bed Clarke began making her way out of the room, followed closely by Octavia and Raven. The females giggled excitedly behind her as she walked up to the front desk and was greeted kindly by the receptionist.“Hi, Mrs. Woods. How was everything?”“Everything’s doing really good. The baby’s strong and healthy,” Clarke beamed.“That wonderful news. Okay, it looks like Dr. Patel wants to see you two weeks from now. Does the 20th work for you?”Clarke went over her mental calendar for a moment before nodding,“That sounds perfect. It’s actually my free day.”“Good. So, we’ve got you down for the 20th at one o’clock. Just let me grab your sonograms and you’ll be all done here,” The woman said before riffling through a stack of folders.Clarke waited a few moments, Raven and Octavia still huddled closely in excitement, as the woman finally reached her folder. Her heart fluttered when she saw the gritty black and white images sitting inside the folder. Sure, she already had a sonogram hidden somewhere in her underwear drawer, somewhere she knew Lexa would never go at the moment, but any picture of their child would make her heart beat wildly.“Here you go,” The woman said as she carefully handed them over to her.Raven and Octavia were up against her back as soon as the pictures were in her grasp. The women, even though they had already seen the ultrasound in person, cooed happily at the pictures. Clarke shook her head and thanked the receptionist before pushing her best friends away and making her way out of the doctor’s office. Deciding that she wanted to get her friends off her back as they walked to the car she handed the sonograms over to them. Octavia and Raven began cooing once more before picking a little argument with each other about who was going to the best aunt and godmother.Octavia had handed the pictures back to Clarke as they entered the SUV and buckled up. As Octavia drove out the parking lot, still arguing about who was going to be godmother, Clarke stared helpless at the photos. The pictures did little to help her as she tried to imagine just how little Bean would look. Would he or she have Lexa’s eyes? Her eyes? Maybe blonde hair with green eyes or brunette hair with blue eyes? To be honest, Clarke could care less who the baby looked like. As long as it was healthy and theirs.As Octavia drove them towards one of their favorite restaurants for lunch, Clarke became lost as she envisioned what little Bean would look like. Flashes of a small child, giggling happily as Lexa chased he or she around their yard, flittered through her mind. Maybe, just maybe, this little baby would be the key to helping her with Lexa. All that was left to do now, was tell the brunette that she was going to be a mother. Shift in POV (Lexa) Lexa let out a tired sigh as she pushed through the front door. The day, putting it lightly, had been hectic. Even after being prepped by Anya for almost an hour, she had still been no where near ready for the board meeting. Right before they walked in, Lexa had pulled Anya to the side and explained that she wasn’t ready. Anya stated over and over that it was fine and that she would take over for Lexa. The brunette had felt useless during the meeting. Not only had she not been able to present but she couldn’t seem to follow along with anything that Anya and the, as Lexa liked to call them, stuffy business suit guys had gone over. Everything had just been scrambled in her brain as she tried to keep up.After that it seemed like it only continued to get worse. Numbers needed to be gone over, a jammed printer need to be fixed, reports need to be revised… the list was endless. By the time Lexa was finally able to take a breather she had realized that it was almost six. She had to get home for dinner with Clarke. Lexa had quickly packed her stuff and stopped by Anya’s office to offer her a goodbye before making her way to the elevator that would take her to the parking garage. As she walked to her car she gave a quick call to Clarke saying that she was heading home and that she could start dinner.The blonde was overjoyed, stating that she was starving and couldn’t wait to chow down on the shrimp Alfredo, before telling Lexa to be careful and drive safe and ending the phone call. That had been almost forty minutes ago and Lexa was finally getting home. The amazing aroma of Alfredo wafted through the house and the brunette felt her stomach rumble in hunger. She quickly made her way towards the kitchen in search of Clarke.Upon entering the kitchen she caught no sight of the blonde. Making her way towards the island Lexa spotted Clarke’s purse sitting open on the marble surface.“Clarke,” Lexa shouted out into the quite house.As she reached the island she glanced over Clarke’s open purse, only to notice a fuzzy black and white image sticking out near the top. Taking a quick glance around and, with no sight of the blonde, pulled the glossy paper out. Lexa’s heart stuttered as her emerald eyes gazed over the image. Clarke’s name was printed at the top, making Lexa know for sure that this was indeed hers. Yeah, she may have a few missing years of her life, but Lexa knew a sonogram when she saw one. She eyed the fuzzy dot in the center, one she knew to be the baby that was growing inside of Clarke.Her heart rate increased as thought after thought buzzed around her mind. How? With who? As far as Lexa knew she didn’t have the capable equipment to help Clarke make a child. There were other ways, such as IVF, to create a child Lexa suddenly remembered, but that wasn’t what seemed to be bothering her the most. The fact that Clarke wouldn’t tell her is what had her blood boiling. Surely she and her and discussed this before she lost her memories. Even though those said memories were still currently locked away why wouldn’t she tell her?“Hey, sorry. I didn’t hear you come in. I was just changing. You wouldn’t believe the mess I had with—,” Clarke started as she walked into the kitchen only to see Lexa still staring down at the sonogram.Lexa glanced up at the horrified blonde, a fire blazing deep in her eyes,“You’re pregnant?”Clarke’s mouth opened and closed as she tried to find the right words to explain the current situation. Panic flashed in her ocean blue orbs as Lexa’s nose flared wildly like they did when she got angry. Both woman continued to gaze after each other. Silence hanging heavily in the air between them. Well, so much for telling her over dinner. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Clarke’s heart palpitated in her chest with agonizing force. Every thought that floated around her brain suddenly vanished when she walked into the kitchen to see Lexa holding her sonogram. The anger was clear in the brunette’s eyes, maybe even a hint of sadness, when she made eye contact with Clarke. She tried desperately to form any coherent words but it seemed all she could do at the moment was open and close her mouth in silent shock.“Why didn’t you tell me?” Lexa said, light malice lacing her voice.“I…I was going to. I just, I didn’t know how,” Clarke stuttered.“You didn’t know how? All you had to do was tell me! You could have just sat me down and outright told me to my face! Yet you kept it a secret!” Lexa spat as she slammed the sonogram onto the counter.Clarke jumped at the force and she felt the beginning of tears welling up in her eyes,“I’m sorry, I just, I didn’t know how. I was—.”“How long have you known?” Lexa whispered harshly.“What?”“How. Long. Have. You. Know?”Every word stung Clarke and only made her chest tighten more.“Since the accident,” Clarke mumbled.Lexa lowered her head and ran a hand across her forehead before letting it tangle in her brunette roots. By the deep breaths she was taking Clarke could tell that she was trying to calm herself down. To keep herself from exploding in anger any further. But it didn’t seem to help any.“You’ve known since the accident and you didn’t once think that I deserved to know that you were pregnant?”“I did! With everything that happened and you forgetting I was—,” Lexa cut her off once more.“I don’t care about what happened! I don’t care that I’m missing a few years of my life! I deserved to know that you are carrying a child! I’m more than sure we talked about this before I lost my memories so I know this was a mutual agreement between us both to have one! Why didn’t you just tell me?”At her last sentence all anger had faded from Lexa’s tone and was replaced by disbelief. Disbelief that Clarke would hide something so precious from her. Clarke felt the stirrings of guilt rising steadily in her chest.“I was scared,” Clarke mumbled, clearly inaudible to the brunette.“What did you say?”Suddenly all her guilt washed away. Replaced by anger that was locked deep inside. Anger that she couldn’t contain any longer.“I was scared!” Clarke screamed at Lexa, shocking her wife,“I was scared that if I told you too early that you would leave! That you wouldn’t want to be apart of this baby’s life! I know that I shouldn’t have thought like that because that’s not the kind of person you are but I couldn’t help it! All I could see was me telling you and you running away to God knows where and leaving me with a newborn!”Lexa’s wide eyes roamed over Clarke’s face as she continued to let out her frustrations.“I thought that with your memories gone that you would think me telling you I was pregnant was just me trying to keep you here. To stop you from leaving me. I didn’t want to put you in that position! I thought it over so many times and each time was the same result, you leaving me, until today.”Lexa’s eyes locked onto her ocean orbs as she whispered the last part,“What do you mean?”“I went to the doctor today. That’s where that came from,” Clarke said as she pointed to the sonogram,“I couldn’t stop staring at it. Not for a moment. All I could see was you with our child. Just so happy and carefree. I decided way before then that I wanted to tell you tonight. That image that I saw only made me all the more sure that I was making the right decision in telling you,” Clarke said as a few tears slipped down her cheeks.Clarke watched as Lexa blinked rapidly and sucked in a shuttering breath before turning around and picking up the sonogram once more. Lexa’s eyes glazed over as she stared at little Bean, wonder shining clearly in her eyes. Clarke took hesitant steps over to the brunette and took the sonogram from her hand before placing it down on the counter and taking her hands in hers.“There’s something else you need to know,” Lexa stayed silent so the blonde could continue,“That is our baby. No one else’s. That child is made completely of you and me.”Lexa’s eyebrows furrowed as she tried to understand,“What are you talking about? That’s not possible.”Clarke nodded slowly,“Yes it is. You and I talked this over a lot before we made this decision. We decided that we wanted to try artificial sperm. We used my eggs and used your DNA to create artificial sperm. It took quite a few tries before it worked, but it did. We have our baby. Both halves of us made this.”Clarke lead Lexa’s hand to gently rest against the clothed bump of her stomach. Lexa took in a deep breath as she felt where the baby rested peacefully. Clarke gasped slightly as Lexa’s hand maneuvered it’s way under her shirt to splay across her warm skin.“So this baby is truly mine?” Lexa whispered. “Our's.” Shift In POV (Lexa) As the word rolled off of Clarke’s mouth all anger completely dissipated from Lexa’s mind. Happiness, excitement, love floated around in her chest. Words failed her as she tried to respond to Clarke. Nothing compared to the moment of finding out that she helped create something that she didn’t even know she truly wanted. At least something she didn’t remember she wanted.Everything still confused her. Still made her slightly uneasy as she continued to try everyday to bring her memories forward. But this? This was something different. Her mind may not be what it was when she married Clarke but something deep inside her told her she wanted this. She wanted this with Clarke.It both excited her and scared her.She may want this but lingering feelings still floated in her chest. Feelings for Costia. With what was going on with Clarke she knew that she needed to see the woman and try to end everything. To get her thoughts clear and focus solely on the woman before her. She would try.For Clarke’s and her baby’s sake.Deciding that it wasn’t the best time to think about such things, Lexa turned her focus on the woman in front of her. She lifted her eyes from where they stared at Clarke’s belly and looked at the crying blonde. A smile lifted to her face as she cupped Clarke’s cheek gently.“Our's,” Lexa agreed as she swept Clarke into a passionate kiss.Tears mingled with their lips as more slid down Clark’s cheeks. Lexa couldn’t help the intense feelings that stirred in her body. Everything screamed at her to be with Clarke. To let her get lost in her body. That she deserved this moment of happiness. They both did.As Clarke broke apart from her lips to take in a gasping breath Lexa suddenly lifted her by the back of her thighs and onto the counter, careful not to sit her on the sonogram. A giggle burst forth from Clarke’s throat as her ass met the marble surface. She wrapped her arms around Lexa’s neck as the brunette settled between her legs and began trailing a line of fire hot kisses down her throat.Wanting to feel more of her skin, Lexa reached for the hem of Clarke’s shirt and glanced up at the blonde for permission. At her nod Lexa didn’t waist any time as she tugged the shirt over her head before tossing it to the floor. Her eyes were met with a green lace bra, something that seemed to make her heart thud rapidly in her chest, and she let her fingers ghost over the clasp at Clarke’s back.“You always loved when I wore green,” Clarke whispered into her ear.Just those simple words had Lexa’s core surging with heat. This may be her first time, that she remembered, being with Clarke but her body knew how to respond to just the simplest of things from the blonde. The dainty fingers that laced in the baby hairs at the nape of her neck kept sending small lightening shocks down her spine, and God, the way her slender legs wrapped around her waist drove her mad. But what caught her attention the most was the firm bump that rested against the flat expanse of her stomach.Guiding her lips down the valley between Clarke’s breasts she continued her path until she was leaning down and brushing her lips against the blonde’s lower tummy. She felt Clark’s muscles tense for a moment before slowly relaxing as she placed gentle kisses to her unborn child’s resting place. Clarke’s fingers suddenly cupped her jaw and pulled her up to meet her lips in a searing kiss. Lexa snaked her arms around the blonde and let them lower to the curve of her ass.She may still be slightly confused with everything buzzing around in her head, but she was more than sure that she wanted this with Clarke.Clarke tore away from her lips, chest heaving, and locked her lust filled gaze with hers,“Take me upstairs.”Lexa didn’t hesitate in the slightest as she pulled Clarke closer to her, encouraging her to tighten her legs around her was it, and lifted her from the counter. As she began leading them out of the kitchen and towards the stairs Clarke continued to place kisses along any reachable skin. Finally, after almost thinking she would accidentally drop Clarke due to the amount of pleasure the blonde was enticing from her body, they had reached the bedroom.Lexa stood at the foot of the bed and gently lowered Clarke’s feet to the ground. The blonde’s lips were swollen, her cheeks flushed a brilliant pink as she stared at the brunette. Everything about her was beautiful in Lexa’s eyes. Her hands lifted from where they rested on Clark’s hips and ran up her back only to stop at the clasp of her bra. Her questioning gaze was met with a curt nod from the blonde and she quickly unclasped the flimsy material.Clarke urged the green lace away from her chest as she slide the straps down her arms. Lexa watched, mesmerized, as her dusty pink nipples came into full view. Another wave of heat washed over Lexa as she let her hands hesitantly move from behind Clarke’s back to cup the firm mounds before her. Clarke’s head fell back with a moan and tightened her grip on Lexa’s hips.With the pleasant sound spilling from the blonde’s pink lips Lexa surged forward and took a perky breast into her mouth. Clarke’s hands shot up to tangle in her hair as she ran her tongue around her nipple. Even she knew that a pregnant woman’s breasts were tender even during the first trimester. And she used that to her full advantage. As she switched over the the other breast, she felt Clarke begin to push her suit jacket off her shoulders.“You’re wearing entirely too many clothes,” Clarke husked.Lexa broke away from her little treat and began helping Clarke remove her upper layer of clothing. As she was about to start unbuttoning her shirt Clarke’s hands pushed her’s out the way and tugged the shirt out of her pants. Her breath hitched as the blonde tore open her shirt, buttons flying around the room, and pushed it off her arms. The only thing remaining on her upper half was her black cotton bra that she seemed quite fond of.“I’d prefer if you didn’t rip this. It’s quite comfortable,” Lexa said as she reached behind her and unclasped the bra.Clarke let out a husky laugh before snatching the material away from Lexa’s body and tossing it somewhere over the brunette’s shoulder. The instant the fabric was gone Clarke had pulled her back towards her, arms encircling her body tightly, and pulled her down for a battle of heated kisses. As their tongues battled for dominance Lexa began urging Clarke to lay back on the bed. She pulled away from her wife as her back fully met the bed and stared down at her.Her blonde hair created a delicate halo around her head, like an angel fallen straight from heaven, and her blue eyes were clouded with lust. Her hands itched to take off the cotton shorts that were fitted snuggling against her hips and, as if reading her mind, Clarke leaned up to grasp her hands. She lead them to the waistband and hooked her thumbs onto the fabric before slowly pushing her hands down. As they reached mid-thigh Clarke leaned back on her elbows and allowed Lexa to remove the shorts the rest of the way.After shimming the fabric down her pale legs Lexa began leading kisses up the inside of her leg, causing Clarke to fall back onto the bed with a slight bounce. Lexa softly bit down on the smooth skin of her inner thigh, a few inches away from her prized center, which spurred a throaty moan from the photographer. As she inched higher to the green lace of her underwear Clarke’s hands tightly gripped the sheets tightly, knuckles almost white, and arched her back off the bed. Moving to straddle her legs, Lexa allowed her mouth to hover over the most sensitive area of Clarke’s body, puffs of warm breath sliding along the thin material covering it.Clarke’s hips bucked up, trying to find a source for release, causing Lexa to chuckle deeply,“Eager are we?”“Just shut up and do it already,” Clarke huffed, hips still bucking.A sly grin spread over Lexa’s face before she gripped the lace that rested against the side of Clarke’s hips and gave a sharp tug. The sound of ripping fabric filled the room causing Clarke’s eyes to fly open and darken deeper as she saw the shredded lace in Lexa’s hands.“Those were my favorite. If it didn’t turn me on so much I would be so mad.”Lexa laughed before capturing Clarke’s lips in a sweet kiss as she chucked the lace across the room. One hand slide up the blonde’s leg towards her center before veering off and splaying over her hip. Clarke let out a a displeased groan before breaking away and glaring at Lexa. Lexa gave her a challenging look before she suddenly found herself being flipped onto her back. Clarke straddled her hips, a smug smirk of her own tugging at her lips, and ran a few kisses over her jaw before standing from the bed.Lexa sat up on her elbows and watched as the photographer reached for the button of her pants and began the process of removing them from her body. Lexa gasped as Clarke gripped both her pants and panties and tugged them sharply from her hips and down her legs. Once she was fully undressed Clarke dropped the pants to the ground and stared down at her. Lexa watched as her eyes dragged across her body, slightly lingering on the neatly trimmed patch of dark hair between her legs.Deciding she had enough of watching Clarke stare at her, Lexa jumped from the bed and lifted Clarke back up once more. A happy squeak sounded from the blonde as Lexa spun them around and gently tossed her back onto the bed. As Clarke bounced against the mattress Lexa stalked over her body, taking a moment to place a tender kiss to her rounding belly, before sealing her mouth with a kiss. Clarke’s fingers snuck their way into her hair and gripped her roots tightly, trying to keep her as close as possible.The brunette allowed her fingers to slink down Clarke’s body before suddenly coming into contact with her wet folds. Clarke broke away from the kiss, gasping deeply, as Lexa found her clit and began rubbing lazy circles. While placing kisses along her jaw, Lexa felt Clarke’s nails rake lightly over her back as she sped up her ministrations slightly. Trying to spur the blonde further Lexa slowly pushed a finger into Clarke, causing the woman to bite down on her shoulder softly while trying to stop the quivering of her thighs around her hips. Plump lips slid along Clarke’s throat as the room filled with the sounds of suppressed moans from both women. Heated skin was pushed flush against one another as Lexa added another finger causing Clarke to break away from her shoulder and throw her head back against the bed.Lexa hovered over her and watched as she withered against the bed as she continued to pump her fingers into her at a steady pace, her thumb still rubbing at her clit. She could feel Clarke tightening around her fingers, her breath becoming labored as Lexa pushed her closer and closer to her release.She slowed for a moment and placed a soft kiss against Clarke’s forehead,“Look at me.”Blue eyes met emerald and that was all Lexa needed to speed up her pace once more. Clarke’s jaw snapped open with a gasp, her legs shaking once again, but she kept her eyes locked with Lexa’s. The brunette rested her forehead against Clarke’s, their breath mingling together as Lexa felt Clarke’s hand reach for her unoccupied one. Figuring out what she wanted Lexa interlaced their fingers together before lifting them above their heads and pinning them against the bed. Clarke’s other hand skimmed up and down her back, sending small jolts of pleasure down to her core.Clarke’s fingers tightened around hers as Lexa gave a particularly hard thrust of her fingers. Feeling Clarke’s walls begin to flutter, Lexa sped up and quickly kissed her before pulling away to watch her crash over the edge. Clarke’s body began quaking, legs quivering madly around Lexa’s hips, and her back arched off the bed, eyes still locked with Lexa’s. The brunette watched her eyes darken before finally loosing their battle and drifting closed as she became lost in her release.Lexa couldn’t tear her eyes away from the beauty under her as she eased her fingers from her center, causing little aftershocks to shoot up Clarke’s body. The woman simply glowed, and Lexa didn’t know if it was from her release or just her pregnancy and exquisite beauty. With their fingers still locked together Lexa pulled their hands down and placed a delicate kiss to the back of Clarke’s hand.Clarke chest still heaved as her eyes opened once more to stare up at her,“I love you, Lexa.”The words stilled Lexa’s heart for a moment. She knew that it would inevitably come from the blonde but she still hadn’t prepared herself enough for it. Even after what they had just done, Lexa wasn’t completely sure that she could say those three words just yet, and Clarke seemed to realize that.“It’s okay,” Clarke said lazily,“I know you’re not ready to say them back just yet and that’s okay.”Lexa gave her a small smile,“Thank you, Clarke. For everything.”To emphasize her point, Lexa splayed her fingers across the woman’s belly and gently caressed it. Clarke smiled at her happily before nodding her head in understanding and pulling her down for a soft kiss. Forgetting about the words that seemed to plague her thoughts both women quickly became lost in the kiss as the air around them heated up once more. Lexa was ready to drag her hand down towards Clarke’s center once more until she suddenly found herself on her back, Clarke hovering above her.“You didn’t think I would let you have all the fun, did you?”The laugh that left Lexa’s lips quickly turned into a moan as Clarke began kissing her way down her body. Clarke hands tangled with her own as she settled herself between the brunette’s legs and looking up at her with a smirk. Before Lexa could throw a smug comment at the blonde her back was arching off the bed as Clarke’s lips found her center.The rest of the night was spent with desperate moans, softy kisses, and gentle caresses as the women explored each others body’s. Hands slid across smooth flesh, teeth left small love bites as they became lost in the passion surrounding them. Before long, both Lexa and Clarke found themselves tangled with one another, neither allowing an inch of space between their skin as they drifted off to sleep.Lexa propped her head in her hand as she stared down at the sleeping blonde next to her. Her eyes traced over every curve of the blonde’s body before they came to a stop at the white sheet that covered from her waist down. They lingered there for a moment before flickering up and meeting the soft swell of her stomach. She lifted her hand and ghosted it along Clarke’s belly, careful not to disturb her. Her heart beat happily in her chest as she felt the firm flesh that protected their child from the outside. Lexa knew that she had a long way to go before everything would be completely normal with Clarke, but for this baby, for their baby, she would do her damn best.Sighing softly, Lexa pulled her hand away and slowly removed herself from the bed. She walked to the bathroom and did her business before finding a silk robe in the walk-in closet and tying it around herself. Making her way out the bathroom she glanced once more over to check that the blonde was still sleeping, before making her way out the room and down to the kitchen.While raiding the fridge for a bottle of water she heard the unmistakable sound of her phone ringing from inside her purse that sat next to the front door where she had thrown it after arriving home. Jogging quickly towards her purse, she hastily searched for the offending object, hoping that the noise hadn’t woken Clarke. Pulling the phone out with a hushed yell of triumph Lexa took a quick glance at the unknown number before answering it.“Hello?” Lexa whispered as she walked back to the kitchen.“Is Lexa there?”Lexa’s eyebrow scrunched together for a moment,“This is her. Who’s calling?”The person cleared their throat before speaking,“I’m sorry to be calling this late. But I called you in a spur of the moment kind of thing.”“Who is this?” Lexa demanded, still slightly confused at the voice.There were a few moments of silence before the person began to speak once more. It was then that everything that Lexa had been feeling, the happiness of Clarke’s pregnancy, the slight fear of about to become a mother, the anxiousness that her memories still hadn’t returned to her, crashed around her in suffocating waves.“It’s Costia.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “It’s Costia.” Lexa’s heart pounded in her chest as she sat in a booth at the back of a small Italian restaurant. After the unexpected call from Costia, Lexa’s whole world felt flipped upside down once again. Costia’s voice hadn’t been an unwelcome one, seeing as to how she was the one that wanted to get in touch with her, but it didn’t mean that it hadn’t threw her off. After a few short and choice words with the woman both decided it would be best to meet face to face and have their talk. After hanging up the phone, Lexa couldn’t bring herself to go back up to the bedroom where Clarke slept peacefully, unaware of what had conspired downstairs.Lexa had felt a sickening feeling bubbling in her stomach since the phone call. Every time Costia’s name floated around in her head she could only think about what had happened between her and Clarke. Maybe it was too early for them to have done what they did, at least she that’s what she was thinking. She slept with Clarke only to get a phone call and agreeing to meet her ex all in the span of 24 hours. How fucked up was that?Lexa worried her bottom lip between her teeth as she tried to calm the racing thoughts in her head. It wasn’t until the sound of someone clearing their throat that Lexa finally broke her gaze away from the glass of water she had been staring at and looked up. Her heart instantly stuttered. There standing before her was none other than Costia. Sure, she knew that she was coming, but Lexa knew that she wasn’t fully prepared to come face to face with the woman. At least not after what happened last night.Costia was a petite woman, curves in all the right places, and slightly dark skin that rivaled that of Lincoln’s. Brown curly hair cascaded over her left shoulder giving everyone a view of her slender neck. Her deep mocha colored eyes shimmered brightly as she gave Lexa a soft smile while taking the seat across from her.“It’s good to see you again, Lexa,” the smooth voice of Costia snapped her out of her fixation.Lexa cleared her throat and gave her a curt nod of her head,“Likewise.”Lexa cursed herself. Out of all the damn things she could of said and that’s all she could come up with? She didn’t know if it was the fact that she was nervous as hell or just that it was the amused expression that showed clear on Costia’s face. Straightening her back, Costia folded her hands together and sat them on the table before leaning forward and fixing Lexa with a serious expression.“So, why all of a sudden did you want to meet?”Lexa sucked in a deep breath before fiddling with the tips of her fingers nervously,“I don’t know if you’ve heard but recently I was involved in a car accident with a drunk driver.”Costia snorted lightly,“Of course I heard. You do happen to be one of the most successful CEO’s in Seattle. It’s not everyday one of them gets in a serious accident. You were all over the news the next day.”Lexa’s jaw clenched anxiously, Clarke definitely hadn’t told her that one,“Of course. I didn’t see any news coverage on it. Anyways, after I woke up from the accident I couldn’t remember anything after a certain point in time. That’s why I wanted to talk with you. I have some questions that I want you to answer for me.”Lexa watched as Costia took her words in and nodded slowly,“I have a feeling where this is going. Go ahead and ask.”“That weekend when I went out of town, I came back a day early and Anya said you were at a frat party. When I came over there and found you…what happened?”Costia stayed silent for a few agonizing moments as Lexa squirmed in her seat. She wasn’t sure if the woman was trying to come up with some sort of excuse or just wanted to watch Lexa suffer. Right when Lexa thought she would die in her seat Costia sighed deeply and hung her head.“When you found me I was sleeping with a guy that I had met that night. I’m not going to sit here and lie to you, not after what happened to you. I just couldn’t take the fact that you focused more on school and work and didn’t pay me any attention. I was a stupid and selfish person then, and I know that ruined what we had between us. I don’t expect you to forgive me, Lexa. I don’t. But I’ve wanted to make up for that night so long and I’ve never been able to.”Lexa stayed silent, her throat tightening minutely at Costia’s confession. When Lexa made no sound Costia looked up at her and continued to speak.“I’ve seen you with Clarke. In magazines, at gala dinners, charity events, and even seen you walking around the city a couple of times. I saw how happy she made you, Lexa. I didn’t want to ruin anything that made you happy, not after what I did to you. I knew my chances with you were gone so I decided to let you be, stay out of your life. As long as you were happy I was okay with everything. When I got the message with your information I thought that was you finally wanting to talk things over with me. At least to make things right between us, even though I know I don’t deserve that.”Silence floated between the two for a few minutes, their waiter interrupting for a short time to give them drinks and take their orders. Lexa's eyes had never left Costia’s form and she felt everything she’d had ever felt about the girl come to the forefront.“Why? Why would you do that to me?” Her voice was a bare whisper that Costia almost had trouble hearing.“Like I said, I was stupid and selfish. I didn’t like the fact that you put something before me. I take full responsibility for what I did. This is by no means a way for me to try and get back in your good graces. I just wanted to tell you that I was sorry for the longest time. And that’s why when I got your info I called you. I thought it would be my only opportunity to do so. With the accident I didn’t know that you forgo…,” Costia trailed off for a moment as she thought over what she just said,“Wait, you don’t remember anything since that night?”Lexa shook her head solemnly,“Not a thing. I’ve seen a few flashes of unrecognizable images and things but nothing significant.”“You don’t remember Clarke?”For more reasons than one, that stung Lexa’s heart.“No. When I woke up she was just there and I had no clue who she was.”“God, Lexa. I-I shouldn’t be here. This clearly isn’t something that should be happening right now,” Costia went to stand from her seat but Lexa’s hand shot across the table and grabbed her hand to stop her.“No! Please, there’s still something I need to talk to you about.”Costia hesitated for a moment before fixing herself in her seat and nodding for Lexa to continue.“I didn’t just ask you to come here to talk to you about that night. There’ more to it. Costia, I…I think I still have feelings for you. When I woke up, you were one of the first things to pop into my mind. I wanted to see you, talk to you. Anya was telling me what happened the night of the frat party and I just couldn’t seem to believe her. My brain feels like it’s in two different places at once. Like I’m still back in college, in love with you, and then the other part feels like it’s here, my feelings for Clarke slowly coming out little by little. It’s making me all confused and giving me a headache. I thought talking to you would maybe help me put me on the right track, help me put you aside, but I think it’s only making it worse.”Lexa glanced at Costia and could see her contemplating her words as she spoke.“I undestand. There’s one thing I can offer you, Lexa.”Lexa’s eyebrows furrowed at her words,“What’s that?”“If you’re really struggling between Clarke and I then why don’t I help you. I’m not saying we need to date or anything, just be platonic friends, and see where it goes. Stay with Clarke, treat her well, make her happy, and if she still isn’t the one you want, then talk to her about it. Then, if you still say you love me, I’ll be with you. But you have to promise me something.”Lexa stared at her thoughtfully,“What?”“Don’t think about me when you’re with Clarke. Think about nothing but her. Same as goes for when you see me. Only then will you know for sure who you really want to be with.”“How is that supposed to make me know who I want to be with?”“It will. Just trust yourself,” By the time she had finished speaking Costia was already standing from her seat and walking away.“Wait, Costia! What about your food?”Lexa huffed quietly as she slumped down in her seat, the woman not turning back to look at her. Right as Costia disappeared around the corner their waiter arrived with their food a confused expression crossing his features as he noticed the missing girl. Lexa gave him an apologetic smile as he set the food down.“Can I get two to-go boxes please? And the check?”The waiter nodded and made his way towards the back to grab everything. After a few minutes he arrived back with two black boxes and placed them on the table while handing Lexa the bill. The brunette slipped in her card before handing it back and beginning to box the two meals. After the waiter returned with her card and receipt Lexa thanked him for his service and gave him a tip before making her way out the restaurant, boxes in hand.Maybe she could just give Anya the food.Shaking her head Lexa got in the Escalade and drove back to the office to finish the rest of her work day. Hopefully she wouldn’t be too distracted by the events that had played out with Costia. Shift in POV (Clarke) After the almost sleepless night with Lexa, Clarke had awoken much refreshed than she thought possible. Her whole body seemed more relaxed then usual and her morning sickness hadn’t been as bad as it normally was, not that she had to hide it anymore. Even though she had awoken refreshed and relaxed her day was anything but. She had awoken to an empty bed and after some searching found Lexa dozed off on the couch in the living room, book laying on her chest. After shaking her awake and telling her to start getting ready for work she had started her normal routine of making breakfast. A short time later a fully dressed Lexa, freshly showered, returned downstairs.She wasn’t sure if it was just her or something else but something had seemed off with Lexa. She avoided eye contact, fumbled over her words, and had coughed viciously on her water when she asked about her plans for the day. The brunette had mumbled out ‘nothing but the usual’ before quickly finishing off her breakfast and making a beeline for the door. Slightly confused Clarke just allowed the woman to leave, throwing out a goodbye, before she heard the door shut.After cleaning from breakfast, Clarke got herself ready for her work day ahead. Thankfully she had a day booked with a few clients for some pictures. After she had climbed into the cab that she had called for earlier she couldn’t help but let her thoughts wonder over to Lexa’s odd behavior. Maybe she regretted last night? Maybe she hadn’t been ready for it? Maybe it was her, the ‘I love you’ that she had let slip out. As she arrived to her studio, Clarke pushed all thoughts from her mind and stepped into the brick building and allowed herself to be consumed with work for the rest of the day.Clarke held up a stuffed elephant and waved it happily in front of the toddler as she snapped a few pictures. The baby giggled happily and clapped her hands, her melodious laughter bouncing around the studio.“That’s it! Keep smiling!”Clarke laughed happily as few snapped a few more pictures, the flash lightening up the swirling pinks and purples of the backdrop. The toddler dropped her hands in front of her and pushed herself onto her feet and wobbled slightly before making her way over to Clarke, hands stretched out in front of her as she reached for the elephant.Clarke leaned down, careful of her camera, and handed the stuffed toy to the girl before lifting her in her arms. The baby cooed happily as she played with the toy causing Clarke to smile. The photographer wiped a little drool from the corner of the girl’s mouth as her mother walked towards them.“I think we’ve got quite a few good ones. This little ray of sunshine did a wonderful job!”Clarke tickled the toddlers belly making the girl laugh happily. The mother smiled as she watched Clarke interact with her daughter.“You’re so good with her. Do you have any of your own?”“Not right now, but soon. My wife and I are expecting our first one,” Clarke said as she allowed her hand to drift down to her tummy.The woman gasped,“I guess a congratulations are in order! I’m happy for you! If by how well you handle her is anything to go by you’ll be a wonderful mother!”“Thank you,” Clarke said before handing the girl back over to her mother,“Why don’t we head into my office and go over the shots and pick the ones you like the best.”The mother nodded enthusiastically and followed Clarke to the large office.About an hours later the happy mother and daughter duo were waving goodbye to Clarke as they walked out the door. Clarke sighed tiredly as she figured she’d set up the backdrop for her next session before taking a quick lunch break. She was having trouble putting up with solid white backdrop and almost dropped it before Bellamy came running inside her studio and took the heavy white cloth from her hands.“I got it,” Bellamy said as he put the backdrop into place.Clarke let out a breath before turning to look at man,“Thanks, Bell. What are you doing here?”I was supposed to meet Echo for lunch across the street at that sandwich shop but she’s held up at work. Thought I would stop by and see if you wanted to join me.”Clarke nodded her head thankfully,“A sandwich sounds really good right now. Just let me grab my purse.”Bellamy chuckled as Clarke quickly disappeared into her office,“That little princess of your’s got you wanting to eat everything already?”“Shut up,” Clarke said as she locked her office,“And I thought I was the princess?”“For now, but once that little one is born I guess we’ll have to upgrade you to the queen,” Bellamy said he offered his arm to Clarke.Clarke slapped his arm playfully before placing her hand in the crook of his elbow and letting him lead her out the door. He snatched the keys from her hand and locked it before she could protest. Bellamy handed the keys back with a smirk and began leading them carefully across the street to the small sandwich shop. They made small talk about their day as they ordered their food before taking residence at one of the many tables lining the large front window of the shop.“So how are things go with Lexa?” Bellamy asked as he swallowed a piece of his turkey club.Clarke blushed momentarily before schooling herself,“Things are fine. She slowly seems to be falling back into place with work and everything.”Bellamy eyed her for a moment,“But what about things between the both of you?”“Well…,” Clarke trailed off for a moment before sighing,“We kind of…slept…together last night.”“It’s that a good thing?”“I mean, it was for me, but when I woke up this morning she wasn’t in the bed. I found her sleeping on the couch reading a book. I could tell she was nervous during breakfast and when I asked about her plans for the day she said ‘nothing unusual’ and basically ran out the door. I’m beginning to think that maybe it was too early for her.”Bellamy nodded slowly, taking everything in,“Too early for her, but not for you, right?”“Yes, I mean she’s my wife. I’m not the one who lost my memories, not that I’m blaming her, but I’lll always want that with her. I’m just scared that I pushed her into it and in the process made her uncomfortable with me. I don’t know. I’m just confused,” Clarke said as she ran her hands down her face.“Calm down, princess. You worrying isn’t good for that little one. Just talk to her when she gets home. That’s the best you can do. And if she was uncomfortable talk with her about it. If there’s anything I know about both of you, it’s that you both could talk through any problems that you’ve ever had. Better than most couples. Just talk to her, Clarke. Don’t just sit there and worry all day.”Clarke gave him a small smile across the table,“I will. Thanks, Bell. You always seem to show up when I need help.”“Well what are best friends for? I mean besides being awesome?”Clarke laughed and threw a pickle that had fallen out her sandwich at him. Both adults chatted happily as they finished their meal. Before long, Bellamy was escorting Clarke back over to her studio just in time to greet her last clients of the day. Bellamy held the door open as they all entered and threw a smile and a nod at Clarke before disappearing down the sidewalk.Clarke sighed deeply as she dropped her purse down on the floor next to the front door. Her last client had taken a lot out of her. The couple wanted multiple poses as well as different backgrounds and props. Needless to say she had been running around for more than an hour past their scheduled time, not that she wasn’t getting paid extra for it. When she had arrived home she wasn’t surprised to see the Escalade parked in the driveway, signaling that Lexa had gotten home before her. Something that was a rare occurrence. Closing the door behind her Clarke made her way towards the living room where she heard soft jazz music flowing through their stereo system’s speakers. Seeing no Lexa, Clarke finally caught a whiff of something delicious and began following her nose towards the kitchen.Clarke entered the kitchen and saw Lexa stirring something around in a skillet on the stove. The smell caused Clarke’s stomach to rumble loudly. Clearly the sandwich four hours ago didn’t do her any justice. Clarke moved towards the brunette as she began dumping the skillet’s contents onto two separate plates, barely catching the sight of her coming to stand next to her.“Hey. I was surprised you weren’t home before me. I decided I could cook tonight. I hope that’s okay,” Lexa said as she handed a plate to Clarke.Clarke gazed hungrily down at the chicken stir fry,“Oh, I don’t mind at all. I’m actually kind of relieved you cooked. I don’t think I would have had the energy.”Lexa laughed as she set the skillet back down and grabbed her own plate and followed Clarke out the kitchen and over to the dining room,“Good. At least I didn’t burn the house down. I wasn’t really sure what I was doing. I had to call Anya a few times so I hope it tastes good.”Clarke glanced at her for a moment before picking up her fork and taking a few pieces of the stir fry and quickly popping it into her mouth. As she slowly chewed she couldn’t contain the delightful moan that sounded from deep in her throat.“Oh my god, Lex. This is amazing! I’m seriously going to need you to make more of this!”Clarke quickly filled her fork once more and stuffed it into her mouth as Lexa giggled happily. As they ate in silence for a few minutes, Clarke could feel the noticeable difference in the air between them. It wasn’t as tense as it had been this morning before Lexa had left. The brunette almost seemed at peace, or she was just really good at covering it up. Something that Clarke had discovered her wife was quite good at during their last year of college. Clarke paused in her eating for a second and looked at the chewing Lexa.“Hey, Lex. Can I ask you something?”The woman stopped, fork in mid-air, and nodded as she placed her fork back on her plate,“Sure. Ask away.”“This morning…I noticed you were kind of…nervous. Is it because of last night?” Clarke asked slowly.Lexa pursed her lips, Clarke noticing the the shift in her eyes as she tried to look at everything besides her. Clarke grew even more nervous as the brunette continued to stay quite, obviously pondering over her next words carefully.“I don’t want to say it was a mistake, but I think it was too soon. Do you understand what I mean? I wanted it, I did, but I think we should have waited a little longer. I know it’s different for you because even though I don’t remember our relationship you still do. And from last night, I could tell you craved it, needed it. I just don’t want us to get lost in these feelings and things not turn out right in the end.”“What? What do you mean not turn out right in the end? Lexa, you’re doing an amazing job. You may not remember anything yet but you’ve been working hard listening to stories and getting to know everyone again. You’re trying. That’s all that matters. I think in the end, even if you don’t regain your memories we’ll be fine,” Clarke said as she reached over and tightly gripped Lexa’s arm where it rested on the table.Lexa’s eyes suddenly shifted to her hand, something flashing briefly in her eyes,“That’s just it. I’m scarred that I’ll be disappointing you by not being able to remember. That, somehow, I’ll let you and this baby down.”“You won’t ever let us down. Not as long as you’re here with us. Helping this baby grow. Honestly…I would be…okay…if you didn’t want to be with me. Just as long as little Bean grows up knowing both of it’s mothers,” Clarke said as she looked down.Lexa’s hand gently lifted her chin, forcing Clarke to meet her eyes,“I’m not going anywhere. At least not any time soon. I’m going to be here for you and this baby whenever you need me. I do have some things I need to work through but, maybe, we can work this out. See where it goes from here.”Tears began to spring in her eyes at Lexa’s words. Clarke quickly nodded her head before letting Lexa pulled her close into a small hug. Both woman sat there, only the sound of Clarke’s sniffling filling the room, and just enjoyed each other’s embrace for the short time. Lexa pulled back and brushed a strand of blonde hair from her face.“Little Bean, Clarke?”Clarke laughed, tears finally vanishing, and began explaining her story of her fond nickname. What was unaware to Clarke was the inner struggle that the woman faced in front of her. The struggle of her heart tearing in two, fighting to get to either her or Costia. And if the blonde had been aware of her struggle she more than likely would have began fighting harder than what she would be in the next coming months. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Five months later Lexa sighed as she looked over a few papers that sat scattered around her desk. The past five months had been hectic and it seemed to make her brain even more scrambled than it already was. She had seen Costia only a handful of times, spending a majority of her time with Clarke, and it seemed like her emotions were finally winding down. During the five months Lexa had come to realize just what Costia meant when she asked her to not think of her when she was with Clarke and vise versa.Every time Lexa was with Clarke, it seemed natural to just forget about Costia. To push her out of her mind and shut out all thought of her. But when she was with Costia, it felt wrong to not think of Clarke. Something in the back of her mind screamed at her and almost made her feel sick. She knew she was more than likely in the wrong for agreeing to Costia’s deal, even with hearing that the woman did indeed cheat on her, something she hadn’t yet brought up with the brunette, and desperately needed to.Lexa knew that she needed to tell Clarke about her seeing Costia, knowing that what she was doing would hurt Clarke if she ever found out about it before she had time to explain. The unease that sat in the pit of her stomach only grew each time she saw Costia behind Clarke’s back. From the beginning, she thought she was making the right decision to not tell Clarke about Costia, but every time she saw the bright smile that stretched over Clarke’s face when she was around made her feel guilty. She also knew that, with her making the decision to see Costia, meant that she didn’t deserve to feel guilty. She deserved to wallow in the mistakes that she made, even at the cost of her own happiness.Everyday spent with Clarke was a new ray of sunshine. Bright and happy. Clarke had filled everyday with memories, pictures taken over the years. Even going to far as to take Lexa to the place where they first kissed. And that’s what made Lexa’s stomach churn even more. Here was this amazing woman, helping her down the unfamiliar path that was her life, and all she did to repay her was see her ex behind her back. And to make matters worse, Clarke’s belly began to round even more. The soft glow of pregnancy shinning around her as she stared down lovingly at her tummy sent butterflies in Lexa’s own stomach.This woman deserved more than what she was giving her. Something more than the pathetic excuse that was her wife, sneaking behind her back while she was pregnant with their child.And Lexa was ready to give her that. Seeing Costia over the five months wasn’t what she was expecting. It was actually what she secretly hoped for. Even though her mind was still back in the past while her body was in the present, her feelings had done a complete 360. Every day she saw Costia, the feelings that she mistook for love, were merely that of a deep friendship. Something she wish she would have realized before getting herself into this mess.And that’s what she wanted from Costia’s deal.To figure out her feelings.And trying not to hurt anyone in the process.Even though she was unsuccessful with that last part.Lexa glanced over a the digital clock that sat on the corner of her desk and silently thanked whatever god that it was finally time for her to go home. The majority of her time had been spent, not on work, but struggling with her thoughts and emotions between Clarke and Costia. Lexa now understood that she wanted nothing more than a friendship with Costia, the deep pulling need that drove her to Clarke much to strong to ignore. Something akin to…love. Maybe even love itself.She was ready. More than ready to tell Costia that she wanted nothing more from her, that she was ready to completely and utterly put her mind towards Clarke and the baby. And nothing else.Pulling the papers scattered around her desk into a neat pile, she quickly stored them in one of the many filing cabinets next to her desk. After shutting down her computer and making sure every thing was set for the next day, Lexa grabbed her purse and phone and made her way towards the door of her office. Right as she was about to grab the handle the solid wood door flew open. Lexa jumped back before the door could give her a good smack in the face, not that she didn’t deserve it, and looked at the culprit who entered her office.Clarke stood before her, eyes strangely dangerous and equally upset, and what looked to be a newspaper in her hand.“Clarke, what are you doing here?”Instead of answering the blonde roughly shoved her in the chest, successfully knocking her a few feet back into the office. Clarke marched in and slammed the door shut causing a few picture frames that hung on her office walls to rattle. The blonde stalked towards her forcing back even further, her ass connecting with the edge of her desk. Clarke stood right in front of her for a moment before smacking down the newspaper on the glass surface behind her.“This is why I’m here!”Lexa craned her neck to the side and took in the front page article that filed the front page. The headline reading “CEO, Lexa Woods, caught with a mysterious brunette while her pregnant wife struggles at home.” A picture of Lexa and Costia walking around the park from the other day stared back at her while right next to it was a picture of Clarke, wearing a shirt that did nothing to hide the fact that she was pregnant, walking out of her studio. All the oxygen in Lexa’s lungs quickly deleted as she gazed over the newspaper. This was exactly what she wanted to avoid.“What the hell is going on, Lexa? You get all pissy with me because I hide my pregnancy and then I find out you’ve been seeing her?! And from a newspaper no less! Not even from my own damn wife?” Clarke seethed.Lexa stumbled over words, finally turning away from the newspaper,“No, Clarke. This isn’t what it looks like. We’ve only been—,” Clarke was quick to cut her off.“Not what it looks like? To me it obviously looks like you’ve been seeing her behind my back!”“I’m sorry. I-I have. It’s just that—.”“Just that what? That you’ve been sleeping with her while you’re keeping me in the dark at home? Pretending that everything’s okay when it’s not? You’ve been lying to me Lexa! You’ve been seeing your goddamn ex behind my back! And for what damn reason? I know you don’t remember shit from before the night of the party but this?! You can’t use your damn amnesia as an excuse for this one!”Clarke, please. Just listen to me. I’m not sleeping with her. I haven’t slept with her at all. I just…the day when I stormed out I found where Costia worked. I went there and left my information so she could reach me. That night after we slept together…she called me. We agreed to meet up. I had lunch with her the next day and we talked. That was it! I was so confused with my feelings that she gave me a deal. One that I really shouldn’t have accepted but I did anyway.”Clarke stood silent, anger still rolling off of her in waves and waited for Lexa to continue. Lexa hastily explained what had transpired between the two that day. She flinched when she came to the part about Costia taking her back if she didn’t love Clarke. After her story, Lexa glanced up and regretted everything that she had every done in life, well not everything. Clarke’s ocean eyes filled with tears, a few spilling over and slipping down pale cheeks.“So all this time, you’ve just been struggling with your feelings? That’s what brought you to her?” Lexa nodded slowly, dread filling her chest with each passing second,“Then why didn’t just tell me? I would have helped you, Lexa! I wouldn’t have stopped you from seeing her and working through your emotions because I know they’re probably a jumbled mess for you right now! Why didn’t you just tell me?”Lexa hung her head,“I guess I thought telling you would make things more difficult to figure out. And I didn’t want to put more stress on you than necessary.”“More stress? Seriously? Lexa, I’ve been stressed since I got two officers knocked on my door the night of your crash! I don’t think things can get anymore stressful for me than they are right now,” Clarke said as she walked away from Lexa.Lexa watched Clarke pace around the office, taking notice of how one hand rubbed the side of her stomach carefully.“I can’t do this anymore.”The words stabbed through Lexa’s heart like a knife. Clarke’s back was to her, head handing down as she clenched her fists at her sides.“What?”Clarke whipped around, salty tears staining her cheeks,“I can’t do this. I’ve tried to do everything I can to help you remember or at least make you happy, but that’s clearly not working since you’ve been seeing Costia without telling me. You obviously still have some feelings for her that you don’t want me to know about, right? You still love her, don’t you?”“No! That’s what I’m trying to tell you! These past five months that I’ve been talking with Costia, I realized that my feelings aren’t what I thought they were! They’re platonic feelings, nothing more! I just…I couldn’t seem to figure that out for myself, I guess. I was going to tell you about my seeing her. I was. Because I know now what I really feel, what’s been driving me insane when I’m not around you. I…I love you, Clarke. With or without memories,” Lexa slowly made her way over to Clarke and tried to wrap her arms around her only to be shoved away.“No, I can’t. This isn’t just going to go away over a few choice words, Lexa. I get why you did it. I do. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have told me. I’ve been nothing but patient with you helping you out of this black void and all you did was go see Costia without telling me? This isn’t going to go away. Not that easily.”Clarke gave her one last tear filled look before turning around and stalking out the door. Lexa stood there, frozen, unable to move her limbs to race after her wife. Her hands flew up into her hair and gripped her roots hard, eyes scrunched as she as she tried to fight off the flood of tears that began to well up. Taking a deep breath Lexa steeled herself and rushed out the door after Clarke, who was probably already on her way down the elevator.Lexa rushed past the cubicles, zipping around corners and almost knocking into a few people. As she neared the elevators she could see Clarke standing in front of the metal doors it was who stood next to her that made her stop in her tracks. Anya pulled Clarke into a hug, sobs still racking her shoulders. They only pulled away when the elevator dinged, signaling that it had arrived. Anya pushed Clarke inside, saying a few things to her before the doors closed. Lexa’s throat tightened as Anya turned around, eyes locking with her’s and began stocking towards her, nostrils flaring in furry.“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Lexa flinched as everyone’s eyes turned to them,“I knew you wanted to talk to Costia, but I didn’t think that you would do this bullshit!”Lexa looked around the cubicles where everyone was poking their head out,“Anya, please. Can we talk about this in my office?”“Why? It’s not like your face isn’t plastered all over the damn newspaper with Costia! Everyone’s going to know anyway. You know what? You deserve this. You deserve for everyone to know just how much you fucked up with the best damn thing that ever happened to you! And that baby? You so much as come near Clarke and little Bean without Clarke’s consent I won’t hesitate to hand you your ass in front of everyone,” Anya seethed.Unable to reply, Lexa simply nodded her head. Everything had come crashing down around her within the span of only an hour. Clarke sure as hell didn’t want anything to do with her that moment, maybe not even ever, and Anya, she’d never seen her this mad at her before. But she understood why. She royally fucked up. Ruined the best thing that was in her life, and she didn’t need her memories to know that.“Whenever you’re ready to get your head out of your ass and try to work things out, call me. Until then. I don’t want to see your damn face, not even at work. Clarke’s going to be staying with me until then. Maybe with her being gone you’ll finally realize all the shit that you did was wrong, even if you had good intentions,” Anya spat before walking away.Lexa stayed rooted to her spot, eyes of her co-workers still lingering on her as she watched Anya disappear into the elevator. Everything flashed before her. Clarke leaving. Clarke crying. Crying because of her. Because she was selfish and thought she was doing what was right for herself and not thinking about what it could have possible done to hurt Clarke. As she turned around and walked back to her office, colors faded around her, blurred out to become deep grays and whites. Everything hurt. Hurt to a point that she cold barely hold herself up as she leaned against the closed door of her office. Tears that awaited in her eyes crashed down her cheeks in rivulets as she suck down to the floor.As she sat on the floor, knees hugged to her chest, she could barely make out the sound of rain beating against her office windows as she allowed herself to be consumed with tears. Shift in POV (Clarke) Clarke watched the rain beat down on her window as Anya drove her to the house to pick up a few necessities that she would need. The moment she saw the newspaper sitting in a stand in front of the coffee shop, she had done a double take. It’s wasn’t abnormal to see Lexa’s face in the paper but it sure as hell was to see her with Costia. And the picture of her walking around Seattle pregnant didn’t make matters worse. Everything around her had stopped, her heart rate increased to a point that she was sure she was going to pass out.Her shacking fingers had gripped the paper so hard, fear at what she was about to read evident in her eyes. Just reading the headline had caused her to see red. To go stomping down the sidewalk towards Lexa’s office building, not even caring that it was a good thirty minute walk from where she was. She had given a quick call to her next client, stating that she had a family emergency, agreeing to lower her price and book her for another day. She didn’t care about anything in that moment, just the fact that there was a pictures of a smiling Lexa walking in a park with her ex, smiling just as equally, right next to her.Clarke took in a shuttering breath as more salty tears stung her eyes. From the corner of her blurred vision she could see Anya glance over to her. Her tears only stung further when she felt the older girl’s hand rest comfortingly on her shoulder.“Hey, calm down. This isn’t good for the baby. Just breath and listen to me. I know she fucked up, big time. But you’ll both get through this. It may not seem like it right now but I know both of you will come out stronger together after this. I can’t tell you to stay with her or to fight for her, but don’t just give up on her so easily. I know it seems like she’s giving up on you, but that may not be the case. I can’t speak for her because I don't know everything that she’s thinking right now, and I’m pretty sure that in some messed up way she thought she was doing what was right, even though it was far from it.”Clarke’s eyes peered over at the woman who gave her a soft smile,“I know. I…I just can’t face her right now. Not after what she did. But that doesn’t change the fact that I still love her. Is that bad?”Anya shook her head,“No. You need time to clear your thoughts just as much as she does. I think some separation will do her a little good and put her in her place while she suffers a little for what she did.”“Thank you, Anya. For everything. I know it’s not exactly fair to ask you to be on my side over your sister’s.”“My sister is being a fucked up idiot right now. I don’t regret choosing your side over hers. You need me more than she does right now anyway,” Anya said as her eyes flickered down to her stomach.On instinct, Clarke’s hands folded together on top of her belly and let them smooth down it’s rounding expanse. These five months had seemed so amazing to her. Lexa was supporting her, wanting to learn about different memories that they had shared together, and even went with her to every doctors appointment. Clarke could tell Lexa had been trying, at least she thought so.“Thanks, but I think I’ll be okay for now. I’ll understand if she needs your help or something. I can’t ask you to stay mad at her for my sake. She’s still your sister, Anya.”Anya scoffed loudly,“Please. What she did was wrong. I’m not mad at her just for you. I’m mad at her because she can’t seem to get her head out her ass, memories or not. She needs to work through her shit on her own. Maybe after that I’ll talk to her. I know it seems a little harsh, but it’s the best I can do for her right now. I’m not putting up with the bullshit any longer.”“Any longer? What do you mean? You’ve known about this?”Anya quickly shook her head,“Not her seeing Costia like she’s been. I…I knew she wanted to talk to her. I told her she should wait nine months. I thought maybe by then she would remember everything. I agreed to let her see Costia, once, no more. She said she just wanted to hear from her that she really cheated. Obviously, with how much they’ve been seeing each other, Costia either lied or Lexa just doesn’t seem to give a shit. Either way, I regret agreeing to it and I should have told you. I’m sorry.”Clarke gazed over at the older Woods sister,“It’s not your fault. She made the choice, not you. And I respect that you wanted to keep her trust. Like I said, she’s still your sister.”If Anya had anything else to say she didn’t voice it. The rest of the ride to the house was fairly quite. Only the sound of the rain and the radio filling the car as Anya drove. After a few more minutes of driving Anya pulled up into the driveway, thankfully no signs of the Escalade anywhere. Anya reached into the back of her car and pulled out an umbrella and handed it to Clarke.“Here, you take this. I’ll just make a run for it.”Clarke quickly shook her head,“No, it’s fine. I just need to grab a few things and I’ll be back. There’s no point in you getting wet just to stand and watch me. I’ll be right back.”Without giving Anya time to protest Clarke quickly hopped out the car, opening the umbrella, and jogged to the door. Unlocking the door Clarke stepped inside, placed the umbrella next to the door and didn’t even bother to turn on the lights as she made her way up the stairs. Entering their bedroom, Clarke walked through the bathroom to the closet and went to grab a small duffel bag from the top shelf. As she reached up she felt a small pain in her side and reached a hand down to rub at it. She had been feeling a dull pain in her right side for a day or two but simply brushed it off as some growing pains.Once again she reached up and grabbed the duffel bag. Walking around the large closet Clarke gathered as much as she thought she would need before walking out into the bathroom. After grabbing her tooth brush and a few other hygiene products she stuffed them into her bag and walked back into the bedroom. Setting the bag on the bed she made her way over to her bedside table to grab her phone charger. Before she opened the drawer her eyes caught the framed photo that rested on the smooth surface. It was one of her favorites. Her and Lexa were walking down a beach in Mexico when she decided to set up her tripod and get the perfect shot. There backs were to the camera, their hands tangled together as Clarke rested her head on Lexa’s shoulder, the sun setting to their left, casting hues of pinks and oranges across the sky. Even a few stars peaked through the dimming sky to their right.That day had been magical and Clarke was able to capture the memory forever. Not that it helped anything. Anger quickly washed over Clarke causing her to pick the frame up and chuck it against the wall. The frame splintered, glass shattered and spread across the floor, and the picture laid helplessly on the floor. The blonde’s breathing quickened anger steadily rising in her bones. As she was about to grab her duffle from the bed a wave of nausea overcame her, sending her running straight to the bathroom.As she hovered over the toilet and vomited up the contents of her stomach she heard loud yelling coming from downstairs. It was definitely Anya and Lexa yelling at one another. There was no mistaking their loud voiced. As the nausea finally died down, Clarke flushed the toilet and tried to stand up as best as she could. The sounds of the sisters’ yelling were growing steadily closer and Clarke knew she needed to get out out of the house. Before she could stand to her full height, a blinding pain burst to life in her right side, causing her to drop to the floor with a scream.“Clarke?!” Anya’s voice came from the hallway.As Clarke struggled through the pain, she saw Lexa and Anya run into the bathroom before seeing her lying on the floor, holding her side, pain etched into her face. Lexa was the first one to reach her, eyes wild with concern.“Clarke? Clarke, look at me! What’s wrong?”She tried her best to speak between grit teeth, huffing with each word,“Pain. In my right side. It hurts.”By time the last word left her mouth Lexa was already lifting her from the floor, cradling her gently to her chest. Clarke’s arms wrapped around her neck as Lexa rushed them out the door, shouting to Anya to get the car started. Lexa, quickly and carefully, lead them down the stairs and out the front door, barely closing it behind them. As they stepped out into the rain, only one thought was floating through Clarke’s brain.“Lexa, the baby,” Clarke sadly whispered.“The baby’s going to be fine. You’re both going to be fine.”They were in the car before Clarke could even comprehend what was happening. As her head rested in Lexa’s lap in the back seat, Anya speeding through the streets, Clarke met Lexa’s worried eyes. As her eyes slowly drifted shut, she could feel Lexa’s hands on her. One gently gripping her hand and the other resting gently over her tummy, lips mouthing soothing words to her as she drifted off. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Lexa sat in the hospital waiting room, elbows on her knees supporting her head, as they waited for any news about Clarke and the baby. Clarke had passed out only a few minutes away from the hospital, completely scaring the brunette as she desperately had checked for a pulse. It was there. Smooth and steady, and seemed to be the only thing keeping Lexa grounded. Her fingers never moved from their spot on the blonde’s neck until the nurses tore Clarke away from her and wheeled her back.That was an hour ago.There was no word from anyone. No nurse. No doctor. Nothing. And it was driving Lexa insane. If Clarke lost the baby, she only had herself to blame. Her and her stupid mistakes. If only she had been able to figure out the jumbled mess that was her feelings, maybe then she could have saved Clarke from all this grief. From this pain. She knew that if anything happened to the baby, she might as well kiss Clarke goodbye, forever. A deep sigh, followed by the sting of tears, came from Lexa’s lips as she looked up and across the waiting room. Anya sat directly across from her, never making eye contact or so much as saying one word to her since they arrived.When she had gotten to the house and found Anya waiting in the car for Clarke Lexa had all but pushed past her sister, trying to get to Clarke as fast as possible and explain everything to her. But Anya had simply tried to push her away, stating that Clarke needed time. When she had heard the scream, so filled with pain, her heart clenched, everything falling into the pit of her stomach in despair. Her feet moved of their own accord, brushing past Anya and carrying her fast than she ever thought possible to Clarke. The sight before her, Clarke clutching painfully at her stomach, face twisted in agony as she sat on the bathroom floor, had almost made her violently sick.To think that she possibly caused Clarke too much stress and was the reason for her pain. For her possibly losing the baby. When Clarke whispered into her ear, fear for their child slithering deep within her words, Lexa could only see one moment in her head. A day with Costia, something she thought was a horrible thing to think about in that moment. Lexa walked slowly down the concrete sidewalk, Costia at her side as they talked quietly. “So, how are things between you and Clarke?” Lexa glanced over at her with a confused smirk,“I thought you said I couldn’t think about Clarke while I was with you and vise versa.” “I’ll let this slide. Just this once. How are things?” “They’re good. Really good. Her and the baby are healthy and we’ve been getting along quite well. There’s still some times when I can tell that she’s struggling to help me remember. Almost like she wants to give up, and I can’t help but feel like I want to, too.” “What do you mean? Why?” Lexa glanced up at Costia before looking down at her feet as they walked,“Every time she shares a different story with me and asks if I remember anything, even small details, and I tell her no, I see this light in her eyes just get dimmer. I’ve seen this from the beginning and it hurts me to know that I caused that. I don’t want to cause her anymore pain than I probably already am if she ever finds out abou—.” Lexa’s words trailed off. “If she ever finds out about you seeing me?” Lexa’s head whipped up quickly to stare at the brunette,“How did you..?” “It’s obvious, Lexa. We barely meet and when we do it’s almost always somewhere kind of private, at least no where Clarke would see us. Why do you keep it a secret from her? Why don’t you just tell her?” “I don’t want to put any more stress on her and the baby than there already is. What would she possibly think if I went up to her and said ‘Hey, Clarke. I’m seeing my ex girlfriend so I can figure out my feelings and try to get a hold on life.’ Do you think she would respond well to that?” Costia pursed her lips and looked up at the sky,“I think she would. From what I’ve seen from all the news articles and things about you both I can tell that Clarke loves you. Unconditionally. There’s no doubt in my mind. I believe that if you told her she would understand. Understand the fact that you needed to sort out your feelings and that you’re at least trying and not just running off with me to Las Vegas to get married.” Lexa quickly nudged Costia’s shoulder before following her gaze up to the sky,“You really think so? I mean, what if she gets angry? I’ve been hiding this from her for five months. It’s not something that’s going to blow over so easily.” Costia stopped their trek with a hand on her shoulder,“It’s not supposed to be easy, Lexa. You’re going to have to face the consequences of your actions, and I’ll face those with you because I’m the one that put you in this position, kind of. I offered and you chose so were both at fault. But if there’s anything I know, it’s that you and Clarke can work this out. Together.” Lexa scrunched her eyebrows, confused, as she stared at the woman before her,“You knew.” Costia’s only response was a soft smile. “You knew I would choose her. In the end. That’s why you made the rule about me only thinking about her when we were together. Because you knew I could so easily push you out of my mind….how?” “There’s something I haven’t been honest with you about. And I”m sure it’s going to make you confused when I tell you,” Costia said with a deep sigh,“The night of your accident. We ran into each other. You were walking out the liquor store with a bottle wine when you accidentally bumped into me. You were in completely shock for a moment and then you got defensive, saying I needed to get away from you. I stopped you before you could walk away, begged you to hear me out, and you stayed. I explained everything about that night, just like I did at the restaurant. I didn’t want your acceptance for my apology, I just wanted you to know that I was sorry. That I made a stupid mistake. A selfish one.” Lexa slowly took in the words. “And you surprised me, like you always do. You forgave me. Told me how my cheating drove you into the arms of the best thing that ever happened to you and that you would never take it back. Not for anything in the world. The way you talked about your love for Clarke. It was so deep and passionate, like nothing I’d ever seen come from someone in love. You said that you both were both destined to be together, driven into each other’s arms by fate itself. That Clarke finding you out by the fountain was meant to happen all along, and that our love only got tangled in it in the process. From the moment you said you met her it was like everything drifted away and the ocean in her eyes just lulled you into a sense of peace. Hearing you say those things, I knew that, in some fucked up way, me cheating on you that night drove you to the best thing for you. And in that moment, I was happy for you. All I wanted was to see you happy.” Costia searched Lexa’s eyes for a moment before dropping down to stare at her hands, Lexa still as silent as ever. “When I saw the news on the crash and your amnesia I felt horrible. For you and Clarke. I wasn’t sure how far back you had lost your memories, it wasn’t until after I got your message that I was beginning to think that it was all before our break up. And when I went to the restaurant and talked, I knew I was right. When you told me you thought you still loved me, my heart broke for Clarke. It made me sick to think that I was causing her grief because you, her wife, was running to me after completely forgetting her. I made that deal with you because I wanted to help you Lexa. It may have seemed like I wanted to mend our relationship and get us back together but that was the furthest thing from my mind. I knew that, somehow, if I talked with you, hung out with you, that maybe you would slowly begin to realize that it wasn’t me that you loved. I thought that you never seeing me and talking to me would only cause your feelings to stay locked within your brain and still think that there was a possibility you loved me. I couldn’t have that. I knew I needed to help you work out your feelings and help you get through all this, even though it probably wasn’t the ideal way to do things.” Lexa took every thing in, her heart beating rapidly,“How do you know I wouldn’t fall for you again?” Costia gave her a soft smile,“Because you love Clarke too much. You may not realize it, Lexa, but every time we’ve met you’ve been talking about nothing but Clarke and the baby. You were so filled with joy and content with everything that I knew you wouldn’t fall for me. It was never meant to be. Life may have thrown you this curve ball but fate knew that you would get through it. With Clarke. This is just a simple obstacle that couldn’t be helped.” Lexa’s eyes widened. It was true. Thinking back to the times when her and Costia had met every time Clarke was mentioned. It came so naturally to her, talking about Clarke and the baby. In that single moment, standing next to her ex in the downtown park, Lexa finally felt her emotions unravel. Become a straight line that lead her to nothing but the blue eyed beauty that was Clarke. Everything opened like a flood gate, all the emotions and feelings that were locked away, still swirling in the confused mess of her brain, spilling into her mind like a tidal wave. She loved Clarke. And she didn’t need her memories to know that. “Oh my god,” Lexa stuttered. “You finally realized it, right? That you love her. Every nerve in your body just calls for her. Haven’t you been feeling some kind of pull to her?” Lexa nodded slowly,“I’ve felt..something pulling me to her. I just couldn’t wrap my head around it long enough to figure out what it was. It was just strange to wake up and not know who she, my wife, was. And then to feel something so strong for her? It just…It confused me to no end. That’s why I wanted to meet with you. I needed to work out my feelings between the both of you. That’s the other reason I took your deal. Sure, everyone tried to help by telling stories but no one seemed to actually listened to what I wanted to do. Anya’s only been harsh from the beginning, but I know in her own weird way it’s how she's dealing with this mess. Everyone else has just been pushing me to be this person that I can’t seem to remember. All they see is trying to help me get back to that point in life. To where I was before the accident. You were the only one that seemed to what to help me figure out what was going on through my head. All the confusion and swirling emotions. Granted, Clarke would have helped me had I told her, but that was my own mistake.” Costia nodded slowly,“I guess nows a better time than any to tell Clarke.” “I think so. I’m nervous as hell but I know whatever happens is because of my actions. I just hope that we’ll be able to work this out eventually. It’s not going to go away on it’s own.” Costia offered her a small smile,“I’m here if you need me. We are still friends, aren’t we?” “Yeah, I think so. There’s still some things we need to talk about, for instance the night of the party and out meeting the night of the accident, but I think we’re okay for now.” Both women smiled at each other before continuing their walk down the park neither bothering to take notice of the camera that was pointed in their direction from across the park. When she had seen the photo on the newspaper, Lexa automatically knew when it was taken. Her and Costia’s conversation was taking place during the time the photo was taken. The conversation that happened yesterday. And couldn’t seem to wait until after she had spoken to Clarke to be published. Apparently life decided to throw her a few more curveballs. But she knew she deserved it. And Clarke didn’t deserve to find out. At least not like that. Another sigh left Lexa’s lips as everything weighed down on her.“Can you please shut up,” the annoyed voice of her sister floated to her through the empty waiting room.Suddenly, every pent-up emotion came rising to the surface,“Do you have a problem with me? Because if you do why don’t you go ahead and say what it is!”Anya stood from her chair, eyes gleaming dangerously at Lexa,“You want to know what my problem is? My problem is that you couldn’t seem to realize what kind of fucked up decisions you’ve been making from the beginning! You said you wanted to see Costia, as in once. Not over the span of five months and not even bothering to tell Clarke, or anyone else for that matter, in the process! You do realize what’s happening, right? Your wife and child are in the hospital for probably all the stress that you’ve been putting on them!”Lexa angrily stood up and walked over to Anya so she was standing toe to toe with her,“I know what fucked up decisions I’ve been making! I know it was wrong of me to do that!”Anya broke Lexa out of her words by shoving her back a little,“Then why the hell did you continue to see her?!”Lexa was just about ready to reel her fist back when a tall body stood between the sisters, effectively blocking her path to Anya. Strong arms held her back as she tried to walk around Bellamy.“Would you two stop? This isn’t the time for this! Clarke is back there possibly fighting to keep herself and that baby alive and all you two want to do is fight?!” Bellamy shouted.Lincoln’s arms stayed locked around Lexa while Raven and Octavia held Anya back. But Lexa didn’t care how much Lincoln held her back. She continued to struggle against him.“You know why I kept seeing her?! Because she was the only god damn person out of all of you that wanted to help me figure out what the hell was going on in my head! The only thing you all cared about was helping me become the Lexa you all knew for the past few years! Not even bothering to ask me how I felt or what I wanted! You all just kept shoving all these memories at me, not even giving me the chance to figure out a what the hell was happening! Costia was the only one that seemed to understand that I need help to get out of the place that I was stuck in! She’s the one that helped me realize that I didn’t even love her! That I've loved Clarke! From the beginning!”Lincoln’s grip on her slackened, letting her fall to the floor in a heap, as everyone just stared at her in shock.“None of you seemed to notice the dark place that I was falling into. I couldn’t get past anything. It was like everything was against me. I have a wife that I can’t even remember, but I still love, and I thought I still had feelings for someone who broke my heart, but also drove me to the best thing that ever happened to me. Didn’t you all think, for one second, that maybe instead of needing to remember I needed help getting out of the haze of confusion that had settled over me? I went from knowing everything about my life to knowing very little about it anymore. It was like I couldn’t figure out who I was.”Everything was silent in the waiting room, no one making a sound as they contemplated Lexa’s words. Lexa could feel the hot tears that trailed down her cheeks, her nose sniffling every once in a while. The brunette stiffened when she felt arms wrap around her, pulling her into a comforting embrace. The familiar smell of Anya wafted into her nose and Lexa felt more tears sting her eyes as her own arms wrapped around the tall girl.“I’m so sorry. I’ve been doing nothing but bitch at you,” Lexa let out a sort, bitter sweet laugh,“I didn’t realize what was happening with you. And I only made it harder by pushing you to be with Clarke. I didn’t know the kind of pain and confusion I was putting you through. I was…I was scared. I reacted out of anger. I couldn’t process that you forgot almost half of your life, Lex. I should have realize how much it took a toll on you since it affected even myself. I guess I was being to selfish to realize that until it was too late. I drove you to Cosita. I drove you into all this mess and it’s my fault that we’re in this hospital right now.”Lexa pulled back, wiping tears from her eyes as she looked at her sister,“Why couldn’t you just see that I was lost? That I needed your help? All you did was take Clarke’s side. I get it. You wanted to protect her and the baby from my stupid feelings and harshness, but why couldn’t you just help us both? The only thing you did was yell and push me to Clarke without even asking what I wanted.”“I-I don’t know, Lexa. I made some shitty mistakes, too. I see that now. I’m not sure why I took Clarke’s side. Maybe it was because I knew how much she was hurting because of everything. Somewhere in my mind I guess I knew the Lexa that you were before the accident wouldn’t have wanted me to let her suffer through this alone. Maybe that’s why I did it? I’m not sure.”Lexa hesitated with her next words,”You don’t…love her? Do you?”Anya fully pushed Lexa away, a look of disgust clear on her face,“God, no. Lexa! She’s your wife. My sister-in-law and just happens to be pregnant with my niece or nephew! There’s one thing I can tell you for sure right now and that’s that I wasn’t going to let her go through this alone. Like I said earlier. I just kind of knew that the you before the accident wouldn’t want me to let her do this alone. It’s like I could hear her telling me to help her when you couldn’t.”Lexa sighed in relief, thankful that those thoughts were out of her mind and put to rest. Before she could respond a short woman with black hair walked into the waiting room and stared at the group of friends.“Are you Clarke Woods family?”Lexa quickly stood up and walked towards the nurse,“I’m her wife. Please, tell me if she’s okay.”“I’m not fully covered on her status right now. I’m here to bring you to the doctor so he can talk with you.”Lexa sighed deeply, a painful pressure settling in her chest. The nurse instructed them to follow her down the hallway and into a family consult room while they waited for the doctor. They sat in silence for a few moments before Lexa looked around at the group.“I know a lot of shit has happened lately. But right now I just want to focus on Clarke. I know I probably have no right to be concerned about her after what I did but there isn’t time to talk about it right now. After everything has settled down, we all need to have a very long discussion.”Everyone nodded as Lexa let the room fill with silence once more. The tension in the room was obvious to them all and no one could find the courage to say anything as they waited for the doctor. Right as Lexa thought the amount of tension would make the room implode the door swung open and Dr. Williams walked in.“Hello, everyone,” the man said as he took a seat in the chair next to Lexa,“Given the circumstances I can’t say it’s nice to see all of you. Especially you.”Lexa’s throat tightened as Dr. Williams looked over at her. The man was not only following up with her after her accident at her doctor appointments but was also the one that she had talked to about her confusion and emotions with, besides Costia. He seemed to be the only other person willing to listen and try and help her through it, as much as he could at least.“How’s Clarke, Dr. Williams? And the baby…?” Lexa let her words trail off, to scared to finish them.“Clarke and the baby are doing just fine. She had appendicitis and it ruptured before you brought her in. Luckily you got her here just in time. There wasn’t any time for it to do harm to her or the baby. Her surgery even went more smoothly than we thought it would. There were no hiccups in the procedure so now she and the baby are resting comfortably in her room.”Lexa sighed in relief and let her hands run through her hair at the news,“Can I see her?”“She’s still asleep form the surgery but you can visit her. One at a time, please. She needs as much rest and as little stress as possible. I’ll take you back there,” Dr. Williams said as he stood from his seat.As Lexa stood to follow them she could see Anya clearly wanted to protest but kept quiet. Lexa knew that she was probably not making the best decision in seeing Clarke since the blonde didn’t want to see her at the moment, but she couldn’t help it. She needed to see her. Know that she was okay. As the doctor turned them around a few corners and down some hallways he finally came to a halt in front of a closed door. He held his hand towards the door, gesturing for Lexa to enter.The brunette pushed open the door and slowly closed it behind her. The sight before her, in the dimly lit room, tore her heart in two. Clarke laid in the bed, slightly paler than normal, hair sprawled out messily around her head still fast asleep. All types of monitors and machines were on either side of her bed as well as her IV pole. Lexa took notice of the heart monitor, steadily beating with two constant rhythms. One just a little faster than the other.Lexa made her way over to the bed, taking cautious steps as to not wake the sleeping mother-to-be. As she came to the edge of the bed she took notice of the hand that Clarke laid protectively over her belly, as if trying to shield any outside harm from her baby as she slept. Pulling over one of the chairs that sat close to the bed Lexa took a seat before taking Clarke’s other hand in her’s and gripping it firmly.“I’m sorry, Clarke. I know it was your appendix but I did this to you,” Lexa said with shuttering words,“I’m not going to sit here and say that your appendix is the reason your laying in this bed, because it’s not. All the stress I knowingly put on you because of my selfish mistakes. That’s why your in here. It’s my fault. If anything would have happened to you or the baby…I don’t know what I would have done.”“You’re an idiot.”The words were so soft that she had barely heard them. Lexa’s head snapped up and took in the tired blue eyes that stared at her. Lexa jumped from her seat, hand moving to smooth a few strands of hair from Clarke’s face.“Hey, how are you feeling? Do I need to get a nurse?”Clarke shook her head before moving her head away from Lexa’s fingers,“No, I’m fine right now. What happened? I heard you say something about my appendix.”Lexa audibly swallowed as she realized Clarke had heard what she said,“Your appendix ruptured. Anya and I got you to the hospital as fast as we could then they took you back for surgery. That was about two hours ago. They said everything’s fine with you and the baby. There was no harm to either of you.”Clarke looked around the room for a moment, eyes lingering on the heart monitor,“Thank god. I don’t know what I would have done.”Lexa watched as both of Clarke’s hands smoothed over her belly as if comforting the little soul that rested underneath. They sat in silence for a few minutes, only the sound of Clarke’s and the baby’s heart beat filling the room.“You can’t blame yourself for this,” Clarke whispered.Lexa looked at her with shocked eyes,“Clarke, no matter what the doctor says, you’re in here because of the stress I put you through.”“No, I’m in here because my appendix burst. Not because I collapsed or something due to stress.”“But look at what lead up to your appendix rupturing! You found out about my seeing Costia and that’s what caused it! I…I saw the broken picture on the floor. I knew you were upset more than I thought you were. When…when I saw you sitting on the bathroom floor in pain…I didn’t know what to think. Everything seemed to go in slow motion. I thought I had caused you to lose the baby, Clarke,” Lexa whispered the last few words.“But you didn’t. That’s all that matters right now.”Lexa’s eyes raked over Clarke’s form,“Clarke, about Costi—.”“I don’t want to hear it right now. I need time. Alone. I need to think this over, Lexa. I know I said that this isn’t your fault, but it only made me think about what may happen if I don’t stay away from you for a bit. I think we both need some time to get our minds back in focus and figure a few things out. All this stress, I can’t do it. Not because I don’t want to try and work things out with you, but because I need to focus on the baby. I’m not letting little Bean get hurt because we can’t seem to get on the right page together and sort things out.”Lexa slowly nodded, throat tight with sadness,“I understand.”“This isn’t goodbye, Lex. This is just me needing time. Give me a few days and when I’m ready I’ll come to you. Until then, just…just don’t give up on me and I won’t give up on you. Okay?”Lexa nodded hesitantly, taking in a deep breath as Clarke’s hand settled into her’s. She held on tight and silently prayed to every god that they could get through this. Together.They, along with everyone else, had a lot of talking and making up to do in the coming time. But, as Lexa walked out of Clarke’s room, heart a little lighter knowing that the blonde hadn’t given up on her completely, she thought that maybe all the happened for a reason. Maybe this is what they all needed to give them a push in the right direction. Maybe they could finally work towards a happier future. One filled with love, understanding, and more importantly, each other. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Hey guys! As most of you've seen, or written it in the comments yourself, a lot of people feel disconnected from Lexa's feelings because of the time jump. On my part, I take full responsibility to it and now know that it probably wasn't the best course of action to take. And I want to make up for that. I'm giving two options here. Both of which, whichever one you all choose, I know will help you all understand her feelings better as well as give you more insight to what happened I've that period of time. I've already said one of the things in a few comments and that is "time travel" chapters. That's where we will continue the story from where it currently is while a few future chapters will be set back to a point and time during those five months. That's the first option. Second is, I know you probably won't like this one, I take down the chapters after the time jump as well as the chapter containing the time jump, and rewrite from there. I'm not doing this to please anyone, I'm simply doing this for those of you who are confused and need to see more to understand Lexa's feelings. I'm more than happy to do either one to hopefully get you more into the story while also making you love it in the process. So comment down below, let me know your thoughts, and after my break, I'll have the answer I need. Thank you all so much for your wonderful support, the amount of feedback I've been getting, whether it's good or bad, is FAR from what I was expecting. Seriously. You guys make my day when I open my email to new comments! I love you all! Keep them coming (good or bad! I can take it!) Until next time lovelies! ;)xoxo ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- One week later Clarke looked around the room, meeting the eyes of all of her friends before finally locking on the emerald gaze of her wife.Two days after her surgery Clarke was finally cleared to be discharged from the hospital, much to her relief. The blonde had insisted to Anya that she wanted to stay in a hotel instead of staying with her, claiming that she needed time to herself to think. The past week her thoughts had been filled with nothing but her baby and what occurred over the five months. Clarke was so sure that Lexa was doing better. Getting to know her. Maybe even close to remembering certain things. But she was wrong. Of course she was angry the first few minutes of seeing the newspaper article, but after Lexa’s explanation she felt her heart shatter. She couldn’t blame the brunette for seeking out someone who was familiar to her. Someone that wasn’t trying to change her. The walk from Lexa’s office to the elevator that day had made Clarke realize just how stupid she had been. She was pushing memories on Lexa without even caring if she was comfortable. She had pushed them onto her without even thinking if she wanted to hear them in the first place.She realized that she had basically backed her into a corner and didn’t give her the option to voice if she even wanted to remember. And it made her feel worse that Lexa had told her she loved her. Lexa, this beautiful, memoryless woman who she called her wife, still loved her even though she backed her into a wall and didn’t give her the option to voice her opinion on the matter of her memories. She took Lexa for granted. Tried to turn her into someone that she didn’t even remember, and maybe never wanted to. But through all that, Lexa still found a way to love her. How was still a mystery to her, something that she would need to talk to the brunette about.But they had more important matters at hand. Those matters being the small group of friends that sat quietly in her living room as they waited for someone to speak.Clarke’s eyes drifted to her lap where she fiddled with the hem of her shirt before letting a sigh pass through pink lips,“Someone’s going to have to talk eventually. This needs come out.”From the corner of her eye Clarke could see Anya shift in her seat next to Raven,“Lexa…why didn’t you tell us about how you were feeling? Why did you let us continue to push things on you when you didn’t even want us to?”Lexa’s jaw clenched as she met her sister’s gaze across the coffee table,“Everything in my mind was a mess. When you were all telling me stories from the past years I could see how happy each one of you were. Especially you and Clarke. I felt…selfish for thinking that I didn’t want to hear about who I was before I lost my memories. I didn’t want my happiness at the cost of all of yours’. I could already see how much pain I caused Clarke every time I couldn’t remember something she told me about. I couldn’t bare to tell her that everything you all told me only made me more confused. More…nervous. I thought I needed to make you all happy, but I only realized I was pushing myself into somewhere dark.”By time the brunette was done speaking everyone was looking to the ground in shame.“Then I got angry. I didn’t show it, but I was. I was being thrown into a life that I didn’t remember and none of you seemed to care that I might not want to remember that part of my life anymore. You just kept shoving memory after memory at me without thinking about how I felt,” Clarke watched with heavy eyes as Lexa fisted her hands tightly in her lap,“That why I took Costia’s deal. Even though she knew I was a different person than I was in college she didn’t treat me like I was. She let me be me. The person that I am right now. For the past five months, while you were all pushing things on me, she let me talk through my confusion. Tried to help me out of the dark place that I was. She never once tried to force anything on me. She just let my mind take it’s own path. Helped me figure out…,”Lexa slowly trailed off.“Helped you figure out what, Lexa?” Lincoln asked quietly after a few moments of silence.“Helped me figure out my feelings. I was so confused because in my mind I was still in love with Costia but my heart kept pulling me towards Clarke. I was stuck in two placed at once and she seemed to be the only one willing to help me out of it.”Raven sat on the edge of the couch as she looked Lexa over,“How could we have helped you if we didn’t know how you felt? I know we were in the wrong for not seeing that something was clearly wrong with you, but it doesn’t help anything if you don’t talk to us, Lex. We would have understood that you needed to work things out. You weren’t selfish for not wanting to hear about a life you didn’t remember. If anything we were selfish for pushing it on you without even asking you about your feelings towards the matter.”Clarke’s heart clinched at her friend’s words. She was right. They were selfish. She was selfish. After Lexa’s accident the only thing that Clarke seemed to care about was making Lexa remember. To remember their life. Their love. Their child. But she didn’t see what it was doing to Lexa. And it struck her. She had drove Lexa to Costia. All because she couldn’t see that something was clearly amiss with her wife’s feelings and emotional state.“It was my fault,” Clarke whispered as she let squeezed her eyes shut, willing the tears away.She felt Octavia’s hand settle on her shoulder,“What was your fault?”Clarke steeled her gaze and sifted it up to catch Lexa’s,“I drove you to Costia. It’s my fault. I basically pushed you to her because I didn’t see what was happening to you. I was wrong to be angry because you didn’t do anything wrong. You ran to the one person who wanted to help you through what you were dealing with because I didn’t. I see that now. I’m so sorry.”Lexa was quick to stand from her position on the love seat and fall to her knees in front of Clarke. The brunette rubbed her hands soothingly over her knees as a few tears slipped from the corners of her eyes and down pale cheeks.“Hey, calm down. It’s okay. We’ve all done some shitty stuff over the past few months. If anyone’s to blame it’s everyone one of us. There’s not one person innocent in this including myself. My memory loss doesn’t count as an excuse for the pain that I put you through by going behind your back and seeing Costia. I should have realized what that would do to you but I was too clouded by my confusion to care. I should have told all of you how I was feeling, but I didn’t. And I screwed up a lot of shit because of that. I hurt you and broke my sister’s trust at the same time. I…I told Anya I wanted to see Costia at least once. I thought seeing her once would help clear up any lingering feelings, but I kept seeing her. Even after she confessed to cheating on me back in college I still wanted to see her. She just…listened. I know you would have listened if I had told you how I was feeling, but I was stupid and I didn’t.”Clarke sniffled as she listened to Lexa. Everything was just so fucked up. Everything was a mess.“You aren’t the only one who drove Lexa to Costia,” Anya said quietly causing all heads to turn in her direction,“Like I told Lexa back in the hospital, I’ve been nothing but a bitch. I pushed her to be with you without even giving her time to process her feelings or emotions. I guess my wanting her to be with you only made her want to see Costia all the more, and I was right. You’re not the only person to blame, Clarke.”A look of hurt flickered over Clarke’s face at the confession,“Anya…”“But that’s not all I was angry about,” Anya said as she met Lexa’s gaze.The brunette’s face scrunched in confusion,“What do you mean? What else were you angry about?”Anya audibly swallowed and shifted her gaze to the floor,“The night of your accident, after you saw Costia, you called me. Told me everything that happened and what you said to her. I got angry. I was angry because you forgave her for breaking your heart. You thanked her for breaking your heart. I just…I was so angry because you just let her off the hook for something that hurt you so bad. Yes, you had Clarke right after, but I could see what it did to you. I watched you for months. Drinking until you passed out when you thought no one was watching. Do you know how many times I carried you out of the bar because you had one too many and finally passed out in a booth? Costia did that to you! She hurt you and I couldn’t bare to see you like that. When you finally starting letting Clarke in more I was so relieved to see you finally going back to who you were before Costia. Before the drinking. And after your accident, when you said you only wanted to see Costia, the rage I felt for her…I took it out on you. I’ve been taking it out on you this entire time because I couldn’t fathom why you wanted to see someone who hurt you so bad even if you didn’t remember it.”Clarke’s eyes widened at her words. During the second day of her stay in the hospital Lexa had all but pushed her way through Octavia and Raven stating that she only wanted to talk to Clarke for a few moments only to end up staying two hours that seemed to stretch on for days. In those two hours Lexa had explained her talk with Costia, not skipping a single details, as Clarke listened with open ears yet trying to keep her face void of any emotions. So it didn’t come as a shock to her to hear from Anya about her little chat with Costia but the fight between the sisters was other news to her. She had sensed Anya’s overwhelming frustration with the woman and merely pushed it aside as her way of coping with what was happening around her, even if it didn’t seem like the best way. But now, hearing this, she finally understood the obvious anger that would come forth from the older Woods sibling most of the time Lexa was around.Over the span of the five months Anya hadn’t been the best sister. While still being supportive as best as her seemingly careless nature would allow she had always given a cold shoulder to Lexa. Taking Clarke’s side at any little spat that may float between them which in turn made her feel guilty for causing a rift between them, but now she completely understood the hidden rage that laid beneath the older woman’s words each day. Not that she fully agreed with her anger though. She wanted nothing more than Lexa to have Anya’s full support and love but it wasn’t like she could force Anya to hand it over on a silver platter with a smile.“What happened next, Anya?” Raven urged her gently as everyone waited for her to continue speaking.Anya sighed softly as she looked at Lexa,“We yelled at each other for a few minutes. You even told me that it wasn’t like you accepted to be her friend or anything. Just that you forgave her because she drove you to Clarke. I…I was still angry though. I couldn’t stand the thought that you actually just forgave her so easily. After us yelling at each other for a good few minutes you said Clarke was calling and that we would talk it over later because you wanted a peaceful night with her. I was so angry that I just hung up. No goodbye. Nothing.”Clarke listened intently and watched as Lexa’s face turned sour at the mention of their fight.“When Clarke called me…even though she told me you were stable I still couldn't help but know that something wasn’t right. I just felt it. And when I got there and all you said you could remember up to was right before you found Costia cheating on you. The only thing running through my mind was that the universe couldn’t throw a bigger curve ball at us. When…when you said you loved Costia…I only thought about our fight and what she did to you. It brought anger out of me that I shouldn’t have unleashed on you. Not with the condition you were in, but I couldn’t help it. I was a royal bitch and wasn’t giving a flying fuck about how I could hurt you.”Lexa stared at her sister deeply. The repressed feelings that she had been hiding rising in her chest with every little word. By the thickening of Anya’s voice when she got to Lexa’s accident the brunette could tell that her sister was deeply upset. The only thing that she could think of that would have upset the woman was that, not knowing Lexa’s exact condition before arriving at the hospital, the last moments she could have possibly had with her sister were of them fighting. Clarke could feel the air become heavy with the confessions, most of their little group deciding to keep silent as the sisters talked.There was so much more that they had to talk about but, with the street lamps glaring through the living room windows, Clarke knew that it was time to wrap this up. The emotions were already running high and a good night’s sleep would have everyone refreshed and ready to talk more later. There was plenty of time to talk now that everyone was finally on a single level and ready to hear each other out.“I think that’s enough for tonight. This,” Clarke said as she glanced between Anya and Lexa,“Has been more strenuous then we all thought. It would be best if we all gave ourselves the night to think and pick this up later.”Everyone around her nodded, the emotional toll showing clear on their faces even though they all knew they had barley scratched the surface of their problems. But they would take this one day at a time. And, as Clarke said goodbye to everyone from the front door, she couldn’t help but smile at the fact that maybe, just maybe, they could all work through this together and finally be the family that they were meant to be. Clarke quietly closed the door, leaning against it with a small huff of air, before making her way back to the living room where Lexa patiently waited for her on the couch.Clarke stood awkwardly in front of the couch, neither her nor Lexa making eye contact,“I guess it would be best if I left. Maybe we can talk again tomorrow.”Before she could even take one step a warm hand was gripping onto her wrist. Looking back Clarke saw her wife’s emerald eyes peering up at her with a look of desperation.“Stay. Please. Don’t leave on my account.”Clarke swallowed past the lump that had formed quickly in her throat before looking down at Lexa’s hand that wrapped around her wrist. The warmth that surged through her fingertips was all to familiar and sent a tingle down Clarke’s spine. Staying might not have been the best choice in her head at the moment, but her body, and heart, screamed for her to stay. With a slow nod Lexa finally released her wrist and allowed Clarke to take a seat next to her on the couch.Maybe staying didn’t seem like the best option, but if she were to look back five years from now, she would know that staying with Lexa was possibly what put them back into each other’s arms. Shift in POV (Lexa) Lexa’s breathing stuttered as Clarke took the spot next to her. Their knees brushed against one another as they shifted no the couch in the awkward silence. There was so much buzzing through her mind. Things she wanted to tell Clarke. So many things that she couldn’t seem to find the voice to express them.“What made you realize that you loved me?”Lexa’s heart froze. The simple words flowing from the blonde’s lips sent her into a mild state of shock. Out of all the things that they should be talking about, Lexa thought that this one was the furthest thing from Clarke’s mind. But apparently, as she had been for the past five months along with everyone else, she was wrong. Lexa could feel the blue eyes boring into her face as she struggled to form words, to best explain how her feelings had unknowingly surfaced over the five months time.Suddenly shifting her body, Lexa faced Clarke and gazed into her eyes. Instead of speaking Lexa took the blonde’s hands and raised them in the air, palms facing towards her, before placing her own open palms against them. She let them rest there for a moment, watching as blue eyes skimmed over their touching fingers, before slowly interlacing their digits and keeping them in the air.“Everything about you. I just didn’t know it until I realized how much you were on my mind. How I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” Lexa whispered.Clarke stayed silent. Choosing to let the brunette continue instead of interrupting, in fear that if she did she would stop talking.“Your laugh. It was like little bells ringing through my ears that I just couldn’t get enough of. Mesmerizing.” Tiny giggles came from the bedroom as Lexa made her way upstairs after a long day at work. She wasn’t overly surprised to not find Clarke lounging on the couch with her laptop editing pictures as she had been doing for the past few days. When the first giggle rang from upstairs Lexa raised an eyebrow and quietly made her way up the stairs. Now, walking down the hallway towards the bedroom, the giggles grew more frequent and louder. The bedroom door was wide open, inviting her in with the smell of lavender and roses. Taking cautious steps inside Lexa glanced around the empty room before seeing the bathroom door cracked open. As she made her way over she could clearly hear Clarke’s giggles and tried not to smile as she pushed the door open the rest of the way. But the sight before broke all concentration and had a bright smile breaking out over her face. Clarke giggled happily once more as she cupped a handful of bubbles from the tub and proceeded to blow them into the air, causing multiple bubbles to fall around her. The sound coming from her lips was magical, almost child like. Carefree and alive. Leaning against the doorframe Lexa cleared her throat as Clarke yet again blew more bubbles into the air. “Should I leave you alone with your bubbles? You seem to be having an awfully wonderful time together.” Clarke jumped slightly at her voice, water splashing around the tub as she ducked a little lower into the warm water,“Jesus, Lexa! What have I said about sneaking up on me! You’re going to give me a heart attack!” Lexa simply shook her head before making her way over to the tub, eyes catching the bright blush blooming along Clarke’s cheeks. Kneeling down, Lexa grabbed a handful of bubbles and pretended to study them closely. “I didn’t know bubbles were your guilt pleasure. You should have told me sooner.” The brunette then blew the bubbles towards Clarke’s face, who quickly swatted them away with a contagious laugh. That started an all out bubble war. Clarke and Lexa’s laughter echoing around the bathroom as bubbles flew in the space around them. Lexa looked over to Clarke, eyes shimmering at the happy memory, but simply stayed silent. And she knew that as her cue to continue.“Your eyes. They give away so much. Just the amount of emotion they could hold. Something I knew I could become lost in if I stared long enough,” Lexa spoke as she lightly traced her fingers down Clarke’s temple. “Let’s go ahead and take a look at your little one.” Lexa watched, anxiousness creeping into her chest, as Dr. Patel squirted a bit of gel onto Clarke’s rounding stomach and gently ran the probe across it. Her eyes darted from Clarke to the fuzzy image appearing on the screen. A few moments of silence passed before Lexa felt the air escape her lungs, a startled gasp that she wasn’t even sure was her own resounding through the small room. “There’s your baby. Perfectly healthy with all awn fingers and toes,” Dr. Patel stated to the couple. As Lexa started at the screen, the black and white image of their baby keeping her gaze, eyes mesmerized by what was to be the most precious sight, she felt the warmth of a hand clasp around her own and hold on tightly. Her emerald gaze lingered on the image of their child a moment longer before tearing away and meeting eyes with Clarke. The passion, fire, love that floated around her blue eyes astounded Lexa. The crystal blue shimmering with the faints of tears, happy tears, as her eyes stayed locked on Lexa. The eyes of her wife grounding her to the very spot she stood in as she felt the emotions that reflected in her blue orbs transfer to her. She felt every little spark of emotion. Felt the heady gaze of Clarke boring into her soul with such love she found it nearly impossible to contain. Those blue orbs just called to her. Put her at ease. But lit her afire at the same time. So mesmerizing. Clarke’s hand found her’s and removed it from her temple. A pang ran through Lexa’s heart at the fear of overstepping some invisible line but it quickly diminished as Clarke interlocked their hands, resting them gently on her lap.“Tell me more,” Clarke rasped.Swallowing thickly Lexa’s eyes scanned over the blonde,“Your happiness. How contagious it is. When your just happy no matter what’s happening around you. The way you dance when you just can’t contain your happiness.” Lexa stepped through the threshold of the front door, lazily kicking off her shoes after a hard day at work. As she shrugged out of the blazer donned upon her shoulders the faint smell of cookies wafted through the air and she could barely make out the sound of music. Following the grumble of her stomach towards the enticing aroma Lexa made her way towards the kitchen, the music getting louder as she neared. Silently turning the corner into the kitchen Lexa paused in her stride at the sight before her. Clarke, wearing a simple grey shirt and blue jeans, had her back to her as she mixed something in a bowl, her body swaying in time with the music floating from the bluetooth speaker on the counter. Leaning against the doorframe Lexa watched, amused, as the blonde shimmed her hips to the beat before continuing to stir the bowl, her body still softly swaying. She watched on for a few more moments before walking over to the kitchen island and taking a seat at one of the many bar stools. Resting her chin in the palm of her hand Lexa simply stayed silent, a smirk plastered on her face, and continued to watch Clarke. The song drowned out, fading into a new one, more upbeat than the last, causing Clarke to swing her hips with more enthusiasm. Lexa could barely contain her laugh as the photographer began singing lightly, raising the spoon to her mouth as a makeshift microphone. Quickly composing herself Lexa decided that she had enough of letting her wife unknowingly embarrass herself. Chin still in her palm, Lexa loudly cleared her throat, causing the spoon in Clarke’s hand to clatter onto the counter as she whipped around, hand to her chest. “Dammit, Lexa! What the hell are you doing here?” Lexa chuckled deeply,“Last time I checked I lived here.” “Haha very funny. You almost gave me a heart attack!” Clarke said before picking up her discarded spoon. “Are you going to give me an encore? It was a pretty entertaining show,” Lexa said with a smirk. A large blush crept up Clarke’s neck as she glanced at the spoon in her hand and back to Lexa,“You wish you were only so lucky.” “Come on. Just one more song,” Lexa urged as she stood from her seat and began making her way around the counter, advancing towards Clarke. The blonde quickly began backing up, spoon pointing at Lexa almost as a makeshift weapon,“Don’t even think about it Woods. You go back to your seat or I’ll give you a good swat with this spoon.” “That’s no fun. I just want to hear you sing…and watch that thing you did with your hips,” Lexa teased. “No, no more singing. Or dancing. I didn’t know anyone was watching.” Lexa noted the obvious happiness chipped into Clarke’s tone and felt herself smile as she still stalked towards the blonde. She watched the muscles under Clarke’s jeans tense before she suddenly rocketed from her spot and towards the kitchen exit, Lexa hot on her heels. Little jingles of giggles flowed through the house. Happiness floating around and coating every surface as the couple chased each other around the house, lost in their own little world. Happiness that Lexa hadn’t felt since waking up after her accident. And there was only one person to thank for that. A small smile pulled at the corner of Lexa’s lips as she heard Clarke giggle lightly at the memory. Her hand, still tangled tightly with Clarke’s, tightened momentarily to grasp the blonde’s attention once more.“There’s so many things that I never realized had me falling for you, things that I’m sure made me fall for you the first time around even if I can’t remember it. But, when I was with Costia, the day I realized how I felt, there was one thing that stood out from all the others. Something that just sent my heart blazing with so much love that I didn’t think was possible.”Blue eyes narrowed in thought and Lexa smiled softly. Her eyes flicked down a moment before darting back up, her hand now resting on the swell of Clarke’s belly.“You…talking to our baby. I-I was overcome with so much emotion. You whispered little words of love and just…everything sent all the nerves in my body afire.” Lexa’s eyebrows furrowed as the bright sunlight shone through the bedroom windows, casting early morning rays across her eyes. Not moving, the brunette blinked her eyes a few times to adjust to the light before fully opening them. “I can’t wait to hold you. Watch you sleep soundly in my arms.” At first Lexa thought she was hearing things until her eyes drifted up and saw Clarke leaning against the headboard, hands rubbing soft circles on her rounding tummy. “I’m sure your aunt Raven and aunt Octavia will try to steal you from me, but mommy won’t let them have you. They’re too bad of an influence,” Clarke whispered, amused. Lexa’s eyes snapped shut as the blonde turned her head towards her, more than likely checking to see if she was still asleep. Hoping she wasn’t caught, Lexa waited until Clarke continued talking to open her eyes again. “And your momma…she may not remember everything right now but she loves you. So much. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t know that I know about the little onesie she bought that says ‘Momma’s Little Warrior’ on the front. She already things of you as an ass kicker, but you have to prove her wrong. I need you wielding a camera or paint brush, not a sword.” Lexa fought the smile from her face at the small laugh that past through Clarke’s lips, still silently watching, eyes never leaving the swell of her stomach. “Your sleeping so peacefully and you have no idea just how much everyone already loves you. But there’s no one who loves you more than your momma and I. Nothing will ever change that. You just keep growing and you’ll be able to feel all that love as soon as your born.” Clarke lifted a hand to her mouth, placing a kiss to her fingers, before placing it to the top of her stomach. The gesture sent Lexa’s heart aflutter. No longer wanting to pretend that she was still asleep, Lexa slowly raised a hand to Clarke’s tummy and rested it over one of Clarke’s. The photographer’s head snapped in her direction, eyes wide, before slowly relaxing and letting a kind smile slide over her features. “How long have you been awake?” Lexa’s thumb gently rubbed Clarke’s stomach through the fabric of her shirt before inhaling slowly,“Long enough to know that I’m pretty sure you won’t let me buy the baby a play sword to train with.” Clarke threw her head back with a laugh, her tummy moving gently with her giggles. The morning sun floated around her causing the bright beams to make her hair a golden halo around her face. Lexa watched the vision of beauty as she continued to trace her thumb across her tummy, before continuing to listen as Clarke once again began speaking to their baby. “Lexa…,” Clarke’s eyes were wide with the amount of passion coursing through the brunette’s tone as she spoke.“There’s so much damn stuff that made me fall for you, but I couldn’t see that myself. I was stupid. I was selfish. I let myself be happy with you while also letting myself be happy with Costia. I never once thought about what it would do to you, to us, if you knew I was seeing her. And what’s even more fucked up is that while I was trying to figure out my emotions between the two of you, I couldn’t see that I knew the answer almost from the beginning. In the end it was Costia that made me realize how I felt about you. She knew, even before she met with me, how much I loved you, even if that feeling was buried deep inside me.”Lexa worried her bottom lip, trying to spur herself to continue with her words.“And that made me feel horrible. I…I let someone I used to love think that it might be a possibility that I could fall in love with her again. I took both of you for granted. I used you both to figure out my feelings without thinking of what it could possibly make both of you feel.”Lexa’s head fell forward, her hair curtaining her view of the world around her. Her body jolted slightly as she felt a warm hand press against her cheek and urge her head back up. Raising her head slightly Lexa came face to face with a teary eyes Clarke.“I’m not going to deny that I was angry with you seeing her behind my back, but don’t you dare feel ashamed for trying to figure out things. Yes, you could have come to me and told me you were struggling, but I should have seen it from the beginning. I was so keen on keeping you remember everything that I didn’t pay attention to how you must have felt or how confused it all made you. I wouldn’t have stopped you from seeing Costia if that would have helped you work things out. I just wish you would have told me,” Clarke said quietly.“I know. I’m sorry. I never should have seen her behind your back.”A small silence settled over the room for a moment,“Did you…did you sleep with her?”Lexa’s eyes widened as she watched a stray tear slip down Clarke’s cheek. Chest hurting, Lexa wrapped her arms around the woman and brought her close as she wiped away the salty tear.“No, no! Clarke, the only thing we did was talk. We always met in parks or like quiet restaurants. I never once went to her place or took her here. There was only talking. No kissing or-or anything!” Lexa rambled.A sniffle sounded from the woman in her arms before she felt her snuggle into her chest,“So nothing happened? Not even a little kiss on the cheek?”“No. I promise you, Clarke. Nothing happened,” Lexa said, understanding the blonde needed the extra reassurance.“What about how you feel for her? That picture in the paper…you both looked so happy.”Lexa gently pushed Clarke away and cupped both her cheeks,“Before that picture was taken we were talking about you. That smile that I had, that was because I finally realized what I felt for you and that I was finally going to tell you. Tell you everything. About my feelings, my seeing Costia. I knew that it would more than likely hurt you because I was seeing her behind your back but I didn’t want anymore secrets between us. I was ready to tell you everything because I knew I didn’t want to hid it any longer, no matter how much I had to work to make it up to you. You’re worth it. I have no feelings other than friendship for Costia. Every little ounce of love that I have goes to you and this baby…and maybe a sliver goes to our friends and my sister.”That spurred a watery laugh from Clarke. Strong thumbs brushed away fallen tears as Lexa stared into the blue depths of Clarke’s eyes. Searching them for a moment the brunette hesitantly leaned forward and, when her wife made no move to pull away, connected their lips. Clarke sighed happily into the kiss and wrapped her arms tightly around Lexa’s neck, pulling her impossibly closer. Lexa’s own hands found their way to cupping the blonde’s jaw and tangling into golden locks. They allowed the feverish kiss to linger a few moments before slowly pulling away, heated breath mingling in the space between them.“We have a lot more to work through, Lexa, but I have no doubt that we can get through this. Just, we need to not hid anything from each other anymore. No secrets, no holding back emotions. I tell you everything and you tell me everything,” Clarke said breathlessly.“I think I can agree with that.”Clarke’s tongue darted out to smooth over her lips,“Good. Same goes with everyone else. We still have a lot to work out with all of them and I’m sure that’s going to take quite a while before everyone isn’t moping around like little puppies, but we’ll get through this. We just all need each other.”Lexa nodded, silently agreeing, before resting her forehead against Clarke’s and shutting her eyes. Maybe things were starting to look up. Yes, she had a lot of problems that needed to be resolved with her sister and friends, but for now she was content. So far everything was out in the open, letting the bitter sting of realization settle in. No longer being hidden behind coward emotions. Letting everyone think that nothing was wrong. Maybe now Lexa had a chance to move forward, finally almost free from the darkness that had surrounded her since waking up in the hospital.And, as she sat there holding Clarke, another realization hit her. Anya had been right. If her memories never returned to her then she would make new ones. Now, thinking back to the five months filled with her friends and Clarke, she realized that she was already making new memories. Precious memories that she would hold dear to her heart, hoping that they wouldn’t disappear like the last ones. Protecting them at all costs. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “So how have things been between you and Lexa since our big talk?”Clarke sighed deeply as she pondered over Octavia’s question. It’s been two weeks since the talk between all of them, and thankfully things had seemed to be a little bit better.“Hard, but everything is working out. We communicate more and try not to keep anything a secret between the two of us. Lexa’s finally been spending some much needed time working things out with Anya.”Raven made her presence beside her known with a small scoff,“If by punching each other is ‘working things out’. Lexa and Anya spend all their time talking over sparing session at the gym.”Clarke couldn’t help the small shrug of her shoulders. Anya and Lexa had both decided that it was easier to communicate through sparring. Clarke had the opportunity to watch them one day. Fists flying towards each other, labored breaths panting out words as they spoke over their raised fists. She wasn’t necessarily pleased with their choice of ‘therapy’ but so far it seemed to be working for them seeing as to how the sisters hadn’t had a verbal argument since beginning their sessions two days after their talk.“I know it doesn’t seem like the ideal way for them to work things out, Rae, but it’s working for them. They haven’t fought for two weeks and they’ve been talking a lot more. Lexa’s finally getting the support from Anya that I know she needs so I’m not going to ruin it by stopping their sessions.”Octavia kicked a stone out of her path as they continued to walk around the city park,“I just find it hard to believe that Anya kept their fight a secret after the accident. I mean, I at least thought she would tell you, Raven.”“I thought the same thing. She still hasn’t talked about it with me, though. Says she wants to fix things between her and Lexa before talking about it any more with any one else, and I respect that. While I may understand where she was coming from about being angry with Lexa accepting Costia’s apology, I didn’t agree with her harshness towards her. That wasn’t something I expected to come from Anya,” Raven said quietly.“It’s not just Anya. It’s both of them. They have a lot to make up for before everything can start to feel normal again. We all do actually. Lexa isn’t more to blame than any of us. Sure she kept what she really felt a secret when she probably shouldn’t have but we didn’t do any better by realizing what she was feeling,” Clarke said as she walked between Octavia and Raven.Clarke felt a hand rest lightly on her shoulder and turned to see Octavia giving her a soft smile,“And you’re no more guilty than the rest of us, Clarke. I know you still think you drove Lexa to Costia but in reality we all did it. Not just you. Don’t put all this blame on yourself.”Clarke’s eyes dropped down to stare at her feet as she pondered her best friend’s words. Over the past two weeks she and Lexa had talked constantly about the fallout between them. From Lexa’s seeing Costia to Clarke not speaking or seeing her for a week. Lexa had clearly made sure that Clarke understood that it was not just her that had driven her to seek Costia’s help. Instead making her realize that it was a number of things that were beyond her control. Even then, Lexa had all but rabbled on about how it still wasn’t right for her to do what she did and how horrible she felt. Even going so far as to break down in tears in front of the blonde. Scared for what might happen between their freshly healing bond.Clarke was quick to share the blame though. How could she be angry at her wife for trying to figure out her own feelings? At least trying to work out how she felt for her instead of just packing up and running away. Sure, she wasn't all to pleased with who she sought out help for, but she knew that, with Lexa’s fogged memory, that Costia was a strong being in her mind. Someone that she connected with on an emotional level. The night after their talk Lexa had explained everything that had occurred between the two women. What they talked about, the things they did…Costia’s deal. Everything.And while Clarke had been silently seething in her seat, her fists tightly clenching the fabric of her shirt, she felt it all wash away when Lexa explained just why Costia made her that deal. The fact that the one woman that Lexa used to love, even though she cheated on her, wanted to do nothing but help her realize her love for Clarke had ripped any lingering anger from the blonde’s heart. How Costia had done nothing but listen to Lexa unknowingly babble about Clarke and the baby every time they met. How Costia had never even tried to put herself in a romantic situation with the brunette.Every little thing that Lexa had explained to her about the situation with Costia made her feel terrible for all the malice thoughts that had floated around in her head. Granted, she still wasn’t pleased with the going behind her back, but that was something for another day. Now, everything was finally out in the open. The tension that hung unknowingly between them, filled with secrets and hidden feelings, quickly became lighter. Happier.“Yeah, we’re all horrible friends for not realizing the shit that was going through Lexa’s head. Besides, you don’t need all that stress hanging on your shoulders with this future mechanic here,” Raven said the last part teasingly as she let a hand ghost over Clarke’s stomach.Clarke smiled softly as she let her own hand raise to settle on top of her ever growing baby bump. She was now officially 21 weeks and desperately waiting to feel the little flutter of new life to begin moving in her belly. After her surgery she had quite a few check ups to make sure everything was going smoothly and there was no harm done to the baby. And at each check up Lexa was by her side, completely awe struck by the image of their child. When her doctor had asked them if they wanted to know the gender Lexa was quick to make the decision for them, quickly shouting out a ‘no’ before anyone could say anything else.Lexa had given her a sheepish smile after her outburst and quickly explained that she would love for it to be a surprise, if Clarke was okay with it. The blonde had smiled gently and agreed fully heartedly that she too wanted it to be a surprise. After the talk Lexa had been more attentive to Clarke. Making sure she had anything she needed, didn’t work too hard, was always comfortable, etc. One of Lexa’s biggest concerns was making sure Clarke’s stress level stayed down as much as possible. While they talked over their problems daily, the brunette was quick to cut it off and save it for another day when she began to notice the tension settling along Clarke’s shoulders.“I think you mean future ass kicker. If Lexa’s fighting is as good as Clarke says it is then this baby will be landing some serious right hooks when it’s old enough,” Octavia laughed out.“Okay, enough about my baby kicking ass. Little Bean will be doing no such thing. Ever. And as for a mechanic…I’m not letting it anywhere near your shop, Raven. God knows you probably have a few explosives laying around just waiting to blow up.”Octavia puffed out a feigned annoyed sigh while Raven simply rolled her eyes before meeting Clarke’s playful glare,“As if I would let my niece or nephew around explosives. I’m more responsible than that.”“Sure you are, Rae, but let’s talk about something else. You have everything ready for your gallery opening tonight, Clarke?” Octavia asked as she lightly bumped shoulders with said blonde.“Yeah, all the pictures are hung up and last minute details have been taken care of. All that’s left is the grand showing tonight,” Clarke said happily.Throughout the mess that was her life, Clarke had found just the right amount of time to put together a gallery of her most prized photos. Finding the perfect space to host her gallery had been a tad tough but she had finally found the perfect venue willing to rent out the space to her for a few nights. This was to be her first showing and Clarke had all but stressed over every little detail during any and all free time that she had. From choosing from the millions of shots that she had to finding the perfect caterer, Clarke wanted to make sure that everything was perfect.“I’m really excited to see it. I mean, I’ve seen a shit ton of photos that you’ve taken but I feel that this is going to be something different,” Raven said.A small smirk appeared on Clarke’s face,“Maybe it will be. You’ll just have to wait and see, won’t you?”Octavia let out a loud groan,“Come on, Clarke. You’ve been all secrets with this since you told us you were going to do it! Just tell us what your showing!”“The only thing I’ll tell you is that no one’s ever seen some of these pictures before. Not even Lexa.”“And how does Lexa feel about that?” Raven asked, annoyed.“I’ve had to lock my home studio when I leave. I found her trying to snoop through my computer one day when she thought I was still at work. It’s safe to say that she’s as equally curious and annoyed as you both are. But it’ll be worth it in the end. Trust me.”“Knowing you it’s probably pictures of Lexa, or embarrassing pictures of us all,” Octavia said with a roll of her eyes.Clarke’s only response was a soft smile as they continued their walk through the park. She would neither confirm nor deny her best friend’s accusation, simply telling her once more that they would have to wait and see.“Clarke, if you don’t hurry you’ll be late! I don’t think it’ll look good if the host of the event is late!”Clarke rolled her eyes at Lexa’s words as she applied the finishing touches to her makeup. Her blonde hair was pulled up into an elegant bun, a few stray curls escaping to rest delicately against her temples. Her eyes were done with a smoky finish, making her blue eyes pop against the dark contrast. Giving herself one final glance over in the mirror, Clarke nodded in approval before making her way out of the en suite bathroom and into the bedroom.Making her way over to the bed, Clarke quickly began removing her clothing so that she could slip into her new dress that she had purchased specifically for this special night. Right as she slipped her shirt carefully over her head, the cool air filtering around the room meeting her bare breasts, the door to the bedroom swung open, a rambling brunette walking in it’s wake.“Clarke, Raven said if we aren’t out of this house in five minutes then she’s going to strangle—,” Lexa’s words quickly died in her throat as she lifted her head from her phone to lock gazes with an almost naked Clarke.The blonde watched as a not-so-subtle blush crept it’s way up her wife’s neck and over her cheeks. Lexa’s mouth gaped like a fish a few moments before she quickly spun around, her eyes tearing away from Clarke’s body.“I’m sorry. I thought you were dressed.”Clarke simply giggled at Lexa’s shyness. The poor woman acted as if they had never seen each other naked before, let alone had sex. Besides the day that Lexa had found out Clarke was pregnant they hadn’t had sex. On occasion, they had seen each other naked over the five months but had never engaged in anything other than staring. But somewhere after their talk and Lexa confessing how she had realized she had fallen for Clarke once more, the brunette had become a blushing teenager every time her eyes had come into contact with a bare Clarke. It made the blonde both happy and frustrated.More frustrated than anything.Clarke wasn’t sure if she could blame her frustration on her sex drive alone or just the fact that she hadn’t been with Lexa since that day. Maybe she could blame both. Though seeing Lexa naked on occasion didn’t help anything either. But Clarke respected Lexa’s boundaries and understood that when she was ready she would come to her herself. Hopefully.“Lexa, you don’t have to turn around. You’ve seen me naked before. Besides, I could use some help getting into this dress.”Clarke grabbed said dress from the bed and held the red material out towards her wife as she waited for her to turn back around. She heard a soft intake of breath come from the brunette before she slowly turned around, emerald eyes locking onto her face in fear of traveling any further south. Lexa slowly made her way over to her and accepted the dress from her hands.“I don’t think I’ll be able to get it on alone without messing up my hair,” Clarke said with a tiny blush.Lexa stayed silent as she unzipped the back of the dress before carefully raising it to Clarke’s head, voicing for her to slide her arms through, and carefully maneuvering it around her hair. Clarke quietly watched as her wife worked the fabric down her body, the soft material hugging the swell of her tummy, giving her a more defined bump. She wasn’t necessarily happy to wear such tight fitting clothing but it made her heart flutter when her belly was so easily defined to show that she was growing a new life within her. A new member of their small family. But the dress wasn’t overly uncomfortable. The red, lace high-neck dress was one of her favorites that she had bought after finally accepting that she could no longer fit into most of her formal wear.“Done. Not a single hair out of place,” Lexa commented as her eyes wondered over Clarke’s hair.“Thank you. Now just let me get my shoes and we’ll be all set to go.”Clarke quickly donned her favorite pair of heels before moving towards the mirror for one final check of her makeup. Once everything was in perfect order she turned to see Lexa leaning casually against the wall, phone in hand as she texted who she assumed to be Raven. She took a few moments to take in her wife. She wore one of her favorite fitted suits, Clarke failing to talk her into wearing the black dress that she loved to see her wife in so much, and red heels strapped securely to her feet. Her brunette hair ran down her back in soft waves, making Clarke want to tangle her fingers in the soft locks.Clarke was brought out of her daze as Lexa pushed her phone into her pocket and pushed herself off the wall, eyes turning to met her’s,“You all set?”“Yeah, I think I’m good. Are you?”Lexa let out a little snort at her question,“Clarke, I was ready twenty minutes ago. You’re the one that takes the longest to get ready.”Clarke simply rolled her eyes before making her way out the bedroom, Lexa following close behind,“I don’t take that long to get ready.”“Yes, you do. You started getting ready two hours ago. Good thing you did or otherwise we’d really be late.”“Not my fault your kid is pressing on my bladder and making me pee every five minutes,” Clarke huffed as she opened the front door.“So it’s just my kid now? I thought it took two to tango,” Lexa commented, causing Clarke to blush, as she locked up the house.“Don’t start with me Woods. You’ll lose. Trust me.”Clarke was about to make her way towards their newly purchased car until she felt Lexa’s arm around her waist stopped her trek,“You’re going the wrong way.”“No, I’m not. I’m pretty sure out car is over there.”“We’re not taking the car tonight,” Lexa said as she gestured a hand towards the street in front of their home.Clarke’s eyes darted around to see a black stretch SUV waiting patiently on the curb, the driver standing tall beside the rear. The blonde let out a tiny gasp as the door opened to reveal Raven, among all her other friends, waiting inside.“You didn’t think we’d let you drive to your first gallery showing in that thing, did you? It may be new but it can’t beat this baby,” Raven said as she ran a hand along the black exterior.Lincoln and Octavia both popped out from the sun roof, champagne flutes in hand, and gave them a little wave.“Come on, girls! It’s time for Clarke to show us her beautiful work! Don’t want to be late!” Lincoln said before disappearing back into the vehicle.Clarke turned to look at Lexa with wide eyes, a tiny smile adorning her face,“You did this, didn’t you?”“You really thought I was going to let you drive us? It’s a special night and you deserved to be chauffeured around for it,” Lexa said as she began leading her towards the awaiting vehicle.Clarke couldn’t contain her smile as the brunette’s hand found it’s way to the small of her back and gently helped her into the black vehicle. Her friends greeted her with loud applause and a few whistles before handing her a champagne flute. Eyeing what’s inside the glass, Clarke was ready to give her friends a piece of her mind before Bellamy was quick to butt in.“Lexa made sure we had nonalcoholic champagne for you before we even bought the real stuff for us.”Lexa chuckled softly as Echo handed her her own glass filled with the liquid in question,“For us. If you can’t get drunk than neither can I.”“Always the charmer, right Lex?” Anya commented from her spot next to Raven.Lexa raised her glass and clinked it together with her sister’s before taking a sip,“Of course. What kind of wife would I be if I got drunk and let my pregnant wife have to carry me to our bed?”Clarke blushed at the mention of their bed, Anya’s eyes teasingly darting to her’s, her snide comment becoming lost behind her own mouth full of champagne. The driver was quick to make sure they were all comfortable and ready to go before pulling away from the curb. It wasn’t long before the car was filled with soft music and the sound of her friends chatting the night away as they drove towards Clarke’s rented space. If things continued the way they were going right now, it just may be one of the best nights that Clarke’s had in a long time. Shift in POV (Lexa) Lexa watched from the corner of her eyes as Clarke nervously blew a stray strand of her from her face. They were only seconds away from pulling up in front of the large building that her wife had decided to rent. Lexa handed off her glass to Anya before shifting slightly closer to the blonde, grateful that her friends all seemed to be lost in their own conversation.“Everything is going to be fine, Clarke. You’ve planned out every detail to perfection. I may not know what you’re show casing just yet but I know it’s going to be amazing,” Lexa whispered softly in her ear as the vehicle came to a complete stop.Another nervous intake of breath filled the blonde’s nose before she nodded hastily,“You’re right. This night is going to be perfect. I triple checked everything this afternoon with my assistant and everything was fine. You’re right. I can do this.”Lexa shook her head quickly and rubbed her wife’s leg comfortingly as the driver opened the door for them to step out. Lexa was the first out, quickly turning around to carefully help Clarke out of the tall car, their friends following behind a few short seconds later. A small crowd was already forming around the brick building, Lexa noticing a few of Clarke’s clients from some of the sessions that she had accompanied her wife on as well as a quite a few people from her office.The brunette felt Clarke’s fingers slip between her’s in a firm grip and she lifted her eyes to give her a single nod, silently letting her know that she was ready if she was. Clarke quickly addressed the growing crowd and before long the doors were wide open and people were flowing inside, all eager to see the talented woman’s work. When the doors had swung open Lexa purposefully tried to walk forward, her own curiousness willing her to be the first one inside, but Clarke’s hand locked with her own kept her in place. The brunette threw her a confused stare as Clarke simply shook her head.“No, let everyone else go in first. Consider this your punishment for trying to snoop through my things.”Lexa’s shoulders slumped down as she turned back to watch everyone go inside. A few portraits were visible from the doorway, as well as a few waiters serving various drinks, but nothing that sparked Lexa’s interest. As soon as the last person breezed through the door Clarke finally began moving them forward eyes trained on Lexa the entire time. Said brunette stepped through the doors, coming to a stop a few pacing inside as she took in the large building.Exposed brick stood out behind the hanging photos, strings of fairy lights swooped down from the high beam ceilings giving the entire room a soft amber glow. The atmosphere was calming yet electrifying at the same time. The warm light bounced perfectly off the photos, giving them the sense of almost being alive, bodies and landscapes simply standing still for all to view.“What do you think?” Clarke questioned quietly as she looked around.“It’s beautiful, Clarke. All these pictures are amazing. You really took all of these?”“Every single one of them. Most of them are just little random piece and then they’re are a few that I specifically took for this showing,” Clarke said as she began pulling them around the room, taking in each piece.“Oh, and which one’s are those? The one’s you didn’t want anyone to see?”“You’ll have to wait and see. They’re in a special place and they’ll be the last ones you see tonight,” Clarke said with a playful tone as she continued pulling Lexa around the venue.The process took a lot longer than Lexa thought, Clarke stopping at almost every photo to talk to people who were interested in buying her work or having their own pictures done. As Lexa waited patiently next to Clarke, only slightly listening to the conversation between her and one Lexa’s employees, she noticed a few people glancing in her direction and pointing her way, eyes lingering far longer than she was comfortable with. As Clarke finished talking to the man Raven and Anya came strutting over to them, both seeming a little tipsy with wine glasses in hand.“Clarke, your pictures are amazing! I can’t believe you wouldn’t let us see them until tonight! Especially the ones of L-,” Clarke quickly cut off Anya with a firm shush.“Not yet! She still hasn’t seen them!”“Well, what are you waiting for? Take her over there!”Lexa’s eyebrows scrunched together as the her sister and Raven disappeared around a corner,“What was Anya going to say?”“I guess I can’t keep you from seeing them forever. Come on. I’ll show you what I’ve been keeping a secret from you. Just…promise me you won’t freak out.”Nodding, Lexa allowed herself to be pulled along by her wife, mind still wondering what Anya was trying to voice. But as they rounded one of the corners in the back of the building she finally understood just what her sister was trying to say and why everyone seemed to be staring at her all night.There were pictures of her.Everywhere.Lexa laughing joyously, pearly white teeth sneaking past pink tinted lips.Lexa with her face buried contently in a large scarf, flakes of snow resting peacefully in her dark hair.A side view of Lexa, shoulders bare and strong jawline unhindered by the view of her hair that was pulled up into a messy bun, only a few loose waves cascading around her shoulders.The list went on.There were about ten photos in total. All telling a different story. Each one filled with a different sense of emotion that Clarke was able to capture. Lexa stayed silent. Her green eyes roaming the many canvas as if trying to make sure her mind was really seeing herself. A dull ache began to form behind her eyes as they darted to each portrait, almost as if the images intensified the feeling.But the last image to catch her vision sent bright lights exploding behind her emerald eyes, the dull ache in her head growing to a point of being almost unbearable.A silhouette image of her and Clarke. Only a bout of light shining behind them, outlining their embracing forms as they came together in a sweet kiss. Drops of rain could be seen falling around them, almost looking as if a million stars surrounding their figures.Through the bright lights a hazy cloud of images and muffled voices filled her head. Lexa could almost feel the silky lips of Clarke against her own as the visions intensified. Could almost feel the rain sliding down onto her body, soaking her clothes as she held her wife tightly against her. The last thing she remembered before a burst of white light filled her vision were three simple words, ones that unmistakably flowed from her own lips. “I love you.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- A silhouette image of her and Clarke. Only a bout of light shining behind them, outlining their embracing forms as they came together in a sweet kiss. Drops of rain could be seen falling around them, almost looking as if a million stars surrounding their figures.Through the bright lights a hazy cloud of images and muffled voices filled her head. Lexa could almost feel the silky lips of Clarke against her own as the visions intensified. Could almost feel the rain sliding down onto her body, soaking her clothes as she held her wife tightly against her. The last thing she remembered before a burst of white light filled her vision were three simple words, ones that unmistakably flowed from her own lips. “I love you.” “There! Pull over there! It’s perfect!” Lexa pulled the car over to the side of the road where her very excited girlfriend was pointing to. The area was void of any trees, an open field save for a lone lamp post shinning brightly in the distance. “Clarke, you can’t be serious. It’s pouring down rain!” The blonde in the passenger seat threw a wicked smirk over to the brunette before turning back to the camera in her hand,“I’m dead serious. I’m going to get this picture, Lex. Even if I end up getting sick in the process.” Lexa sighed deeply in defeat. There was no getting between Clarke and her taking pictures. When an idea popped into her head there was no stopping her until it became a reality on her camera. The rain poured down on the windshield, almost mocking Lexa as she begrudgingly glared out of the car. She knew she should have just stayed home, but was guiltily drawn out of her apartment by Clarke who and quote ‘wanted to get the best shot in the rain ever’. “It’s not going to be that bad. We’re just going to get out, take the picture really fast and then we’ll be back in the car in no time!” Clarke replied as she pulled her tripod from the backseat. Lexa rolled her eyes before setting her glare back out into the rain once more,“Yeah, and we’ll get soaking wet in the process.” “Come on, you act like you’ve never gotten caught in the rain before.” “That was involuntarily! This is me actually getting out of the car and deciding to get wet!” A soft sigh came from Clarke and when Lexa turned to face her girlfriend she was met with nothing but smooth pink lips. She blinked for a moment before pushing her mouth more firmly against Clarke’s, becoming lost in the kiss. They stayed there for a few moments before Clarke pulled away, leaving only a centimeter of space between them,“For me?” Lexa automatically groaned at her words. Clarke knew that whenever she said those two simple words she was like putty in her hands. She would do anything for Clarke. Even deliberately get out of the car in the middle of a downpour for a single picture. The brunette flopped back further into her seat,“Fine. Let’s get this over with.” Clarke squealed happily before double checking to make sure she had everything,“Okay, so this is going to be simple. We’re going to go out there and you’ll just stand in front of the light and I’ll take the picture. One and done!” “Yeah…one and done,” Lexa groaned. Lexa shut off the car before getting an ‘all ready’ from Clarke and hopping out the car. The rain poured down around them, instantly soaking the white cotton shirt donning Lexa’s lithe frame. Thankfully her hair was pulled into a messy bun, only a few loose strands being plastered to her face from the rain. Lexa hurriedly moved towards where Clarke directed her to stand before turning around and watching Clarke fuss with the camera and tripod. “Okay, just a simple practice shot and then I’ll take the real deal,” Clarke shouted over the rain. “Practice shot? What happened to one and done?” Lexa could barely hear Clarke’s giggle over the rain,“You seem to forget that I can never do a one and done. I only said that to get you out of the car!” Lexa lifted her hands in the air as if to say ‘really?’. Clarke’s only response was a curt laugh before messing with her camera once more. “Just stand there and look cute like you normally do. Let me work a minute and then we’ll be gone. Back home and dry!” Lexa huffed loudly, a few rain drops falling into her eyes as she posed the way Clarke had instructed earlier in the car. Turning sideway, Lexa lifted her eyes to the sky, gazing through the millions of drops of water to stare at the dark clouds gracing the sky. The brunette longed to see the stars dancing along the skyline, the moon shining brightly among them with it’s beautiful halo. Seeing the stars took her back to the night when she had taken Clarke star gazing for their second date as an official couple. The blonde had stayed almost silent the entire time, listening to Lexa whisper the names of the constellations as she pointed them out. “Something isn’t right. It’s just not what I pictured.” Lexa’s head turned to the side to see Clarke pondering over her camera, hands running through soaked blonde hair,“What’s wrong?” Clarke’s hands smacked down against the side of her legs before looking up at Lexa,“It’s missing something. I’m not sure what…Okay, I’m going to put it on a timer and I’m going to come and move you around a bit. See if I can get you into a better pose.” Lexa watched a moment longer as Clarke fumbled with the black device before hitting a single button and running towards her. The blonde waisted no time, fussing over Lexa’s figure as she tried to get her into what she thought would be the right position. While she fussed, Lexa could only become lost in the being that was her girlfriend. When she concentrated on something her tongue would always stick out the side of her mouth and a little ‘v’ would form between her eyebrows. It was one of the many faces of Clarke that she had come to love. Love. It hit her like a train. The feeling railroading into her chest without a single warning. The emotions that had stirred deep within her from her first meeting Clarke rose to the surface, blazing like a wild fire threatening to consume her heart. She loved this woman standing before. With every once of her being. The faces she made, the way she dragged her out to do crazy things like take a picture in the rain at one in the morning. Everything. Before Lexa knew what she was doing, she was pulling Clarke’s body flush against her own. Her body set itself aflame as she felt the soft contours of Clarke’s body met her own, the rain becoming instantly cold against her skin, sliding down her body without any remorse. Clarke’s gaze locked with her own, lips parted in a soft ‘o’ and cheeks flushed with the lightest blush. “Lexa?” The brunette’s only response was to pull Clarke’s lips towards her own, locking them together in a passionate embrace. Without hesitation, Clarke’s arms came up to wrap around her neck, her fingers instantly tangling in Lexa’s baby hairs that she loved so much, and Lexa’s finding purchase on her hips trying desperately to pull her closer. So lost in each other neither one of them paid any mind to the near silent sound of the camera shutter going off through the rain. Mere minutes pass but it seems like an eternity to Lexa. An eternity that she wouldn’t mind spending in that exact same spot. The rain continued to fall around them, a few drops landing on their lips as they pulled away from each other. Lexa raised a hand to Clarke’s cheek to wipe away a few rain drops, even as more simply collected in their place. “I love you.” The words came so easily to her. Something that surprised her. She knew how she felt. Hell she had really only discovered her feelings moments ago as she stared at the woman in her arms, but in that moment, it felt so natural to say it. Like something was calling to her to let the words out. The only sound coming from Clarke was the sharp intake of breath that followed quickly after those three words. Lexa could feel her hands momentarily tighten at the nape of her neck before sliding around to gently cup both of her cheeks. No words were said between the two as blue met emerald, Clarke simply searching Lexa’s eyes for what she guessed was any sign of deceit. When the blonde found none her ocean orbs widened momentarily before becoming glazed over with unshed tears and her cheeks flushing an even darker shade of pink. “I love you, too.” The words floated into Lexa’s ears, a bare whisper above the downpour of rain. Each word struck a cord in the brunette. Her body thrumming with every syllable, stoking the fire within her even brighter. “You do?” Clarke nodded her head before bumping their foreheads together,“Yes, I don’t know when I started loving you…but I do. Hell, I probably loved you from day one and am just now realizing it.” Lexa let a breathy laugh pass through her lips,“I think it’s the same with me. Just looking at you a minute ago…it just sort of hit me out of nowhere. Everything I felt for you just rose to the surface and I couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t stop the words.” Clarke’s lips brushed against her’s, stilling her babbling tongue,“I’m glad you didn’t. I think it was the perfect time to say it.” “You mean while we’re standing out in the rain at one in the morning?” “Yeah, it’ll be a nice story to tell our kids some day,” Clarke giggled lightly. “Kids? Man, tell a girl I love her and she already expects us to have kids. Can’t we get married first?” “Why, Lexa. Is that a proposal?” Lexa shakes her head playful before pulling the blonde further into her arms,“No. I think I’ll save that for when we’re both nice and dry.” “Agreed.” They both shared one last kiss before pulling away from each other’s embrace. The rain had only slackened slightly, the sky still looming with the shadows of grey clouds. Lexa followed behind Clarke as she ran towards her camera no longer worrying about the way her wet clothes stuck to her skin. The blonde quickly grabbed the camera and folded up the tripod before pulling Lexa back towards the car. Both women hopped in, Lexa instantly starting the car, and signed in happiness as the blast of warm air hit their soaked bodies. After throwing the tripod on the backseat Clarke pulled up the camera roll on her device. Lexa watched quietly as she scrolled through the a few pictures she had taken earlier in the day before finally landing on the one of Lexa. “I like it, but I don’t love it,” Clarke said as she examined the photo closer. “We can try it again,” Lexa suggested. “No, I should still have one from when I put the timer on…let’s see,” Clarke hit a few buttons, stopping when it finally landed on a single picture,“Lexa….” Lexa’s eyes darted over to her girlfriend who’s eyes were wide, gleaming with something akin to wonder,“What is it?” Clarke locked gazes with her before holding out the camera to her,“Look.” Lexa grasped the camera in her hand and pulled it away from Clarke before letting her eyes dart down to the picture. Her breath escaped her lungs as she took in the magical image. The light shinning brightly in the distance outlined their forms perfectly, showing nothing but the mere outlines of their bodies as they hugged each other close, locked in a passionate kiss. The rain fell around them, the light bouncing off every single drop, creating the illusion of stars dancing around them. “Clarke, this is…,” Lexa couldn’t even find the words to explain the breathtaking photo. “It’s beautiful. It’s probably not the best word to explain it but it’s the only one I can think of right now.” Lexa dropped the camera into her lap and pulled Clarke into a fierce kiss. One that spoke of her love and passion for her girlfriend. Their lips moved together in perfect sync, a few moans becoming lost in a tangle of tongues. Trying to gain control of herself, Lexa pulled away, and rested her forehead against Clarke’s, gently cupping her jaw. “I don’t care how you explain it. It’s the best damn photo I’ve ever seen.” Clarke pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, trying to keep herself from breaking into a full blown grin,“Well, thank you. Now, as much as I would love to sit in this car and make out with you all night, I think we might be a little more comfortable back at your place in warm clothes.” “Hey, don’t look at me. It was your idea to take pictures in the rain. I was perfectly happy back home in bed.” Clarke grabbed the camera from Lexa’s lap before pulling away from her completely,“Maybe next time I can just take some pictures of you in bed.” “Oh? And would I be wearing any clothes in these photos?” Clarke’s eyes darted over to Lexa, her blue orbs darkening slightly,“If I have anything to say you won’t. Who knows…maybe I can take some tonight.” That was all Lexa needed to hear before she was pulling back onto the road. The car sped cautiously down the highway, Clarke’s sensual laughter filling the car as they made their way back home. Everything seemed to buzz around her. The bright white light slowly fading away to be replaced by worried blue orbs. Her ears rang, blood rushing in through them in waves, the sounds of panicked voices muffled beneath them. She could barley concentrate on the woman above her let alone everything else moving around. The dull ache that had formed in her head had risen to a steady pounding. One that made her dizzy if she tried to dart her eyes around too quickly.“Lexa! Lexa, can you hear me?”Emerald eyes slowly locked into place with the concerned eyes of her wife. Clarke. Seeing her face so suddenly sent the resurfaced memory back into the forefront of her mind. She could still feel every little rain drop that had dropped against her skin. The feel of Clarke’s lips against her’s, warm and silky to the touch. The words that she so lovingly whispered against the blonde’s own lips.“I remember it.”Her words were hoarse. As if she had just crawled through a desert for two days with no water. The words also felt foreign on her tongue. Her ability to remember anything had seemed so dim to her own self. Just saying she remembered something, really remembered something, was such a shock to her. Maybe that’s why she ended up on the floor where she currently laid, her head cradled atop of Clarke’s legs.“Remember what, Lex? The picture?”Clarke’s voice was hopeful. Desperate even. Lexa’s heart stuttered as she continued to gaze at her wife. A tear ran down Clarke’s cheek, dripping from her jaw and onto Lexa’s cheek who did nothing but ignore it in favor of nodding her head slowly. The blonde’s lips trembled before her eyes squeezed shut causing a few more tears to trail down her face. Lexa wasn’t at all surprised when Clarke’s lips suddenly descended onto her’s. This moment…Lexa didn’t realize how much she wanted it. Craved it.The light that had flickered deep in Clarke’s gaze never dimmed as it did when she told her she couldn’t remember anything. It grew. Burst with life, hope, at Lexa’s words. Hope that things would be okay. That maybe she could regain her memories after all. Even if things were always going to be uncertain with her memories, Lexa found herself praying silently, to whatever god was out there, that she would remember everything someday.If not for herself, then for Clarke. She deserves it. “The hell happened?”Anya’s voice startled Clarke away from Lexa, officially breaking them out of their kiss. Lexa’s head turned to the side to see her sister running towards them, Raven and the rest of their friends a few paces behind, pushing through the steadily growing crowd. The brunette took notice of a few of the people standing around holding a phone to their ears, more than likely calling for medical assistance, and she inwardly groaned at the thought of possibly being carted off to the hospital.Her inner pout was cut short as Anya plopped down on her knees next to her and was instantly checking her over for wounds, the slight buzz that she was feeling earlier disappearing when she first spotted Lexa on the floor.“It’s okay, Anya. I’m okay. Better than okay,” Lexa told her slowly, the pounding in her head making her wince a little.“Lexa, I turn around and your on the damn floor! You can’t just tell me you’re okay! Did someone call an ambulance?” Anya stated before looking around at the crowd.A few onlookers nodded, someone yelling out that they were on their way already. By the time Anya’s eyes shot back down to her Lexa could hear the sirens in the distance, gradually growing closer. Sighing deeply, Lexa let her head fall back onto Clarke’s legs, the motion automatically making her head throb in pain. Not even a second later Clarke’s fingers were threading in through her hair, rubbing soothing circles over her scalp.“She remembered something, Anya.”Clarke’s words were so quiet that Lexa herself almost missed them. Anya’s eyes widened, a few startled gasps coming from their friends around them, before looking down at her sister.“You really remembered something?” Lexa nodded slowly,“Well, it’s about damn time! Did you have to faint to remember it? You couldn’t just stand there like a normal person?”A smile tugged at the corners of Lexa’s lips. Anya’s words were teasing. The harsh tone in her voice no longer present as it had been the past few months. Maybe their little sparring sessions were helping after all.“No, I just had to make a scene. Wouldn’t be as much fun if I didn’t, right?”That earned her a light slap on the arm from Anya and a round of chuckles from the rest of her friends. As their soft laughter died down the sound of the paramedics rushing into the building captured Lexa’s attention. Everyone quickly moved away to make room for them to reach the brunette. It took some persuading from Bellamy for Clarke to leave her position on the floor next to her wife before she finally moved away for the men to do their jobs.Lexa answered the routine questions that the paramedics normally asked as they took her vitals, her eyes wondering to a nervous Clarke who held on tightly to Raven and Octavia’s hands. A few minutes passed before Lexa heard one of them ask her if she had any accidents or injuries that may have caused her to faint.“She was in a car accident a few months ago. She had a concussion which caused her to lose some of her memories,” Clarke blurted out,“When she woke up she said she remembered something.”Lexa smiled gratefully at the blonde. She could hear the underlying uncertainty in the blonde’s voice. She knew what that meant. Clarke was scarred that she had been hearing things. That Lexa truly didn’t remember that special night between them. The brunette held out a hand, silently calling for Clarke to walk over to her and grasp it firmly. Her wife moved without hesitation, instantly dropping her friends hands and taking Lexa’s, one of the paramedics moving out of her way instantly.“I remember…you dragging me out of bed at one in the morning. You wanted to take a picture of me in the rain. God, I was crazy to actually allow myself to agree to it,” Clarke let out a watery laugh, her hand gripping Lexa’s even tighter,“I didn’t want to get out of the car but you convinced me to do that too. As soon as we stepped out the car we were soaked. You step up your camera and did god knows what while I stood there like a fool just watching you. When you had me look up into the sky…all I wanted was to see the stars. They always reminded me of when I took you star gazing on our second date as an official couple, which I don’t really remember the details of.”Clarke’s eyes shined brighter than Lexa had seen them in a while. The true happiness of her soul shinning through without anything to hinder them. The lingering sadness pushed away as she listened to every word that slipped from her wife’s mouth.“You didn’t like your ‘practice shot’…I remember you pushing some buttons and then you were standing in front of me, trying to pose me how you liked. You had that look on your face, the one that you get when you’re trying to concentrate really hard. Your tongue sticks out the side of your mouth and you get this little ‘v’ in between your eyebrows,” Lexa lifted her hand and smoothed her thumb between the the blonde’s brows,“The cutest face you ever make. And…while I stared at you…it hit me. I loved you. With everything I had.”Tears were now sliding down Clarke’s cheeks, everyone around them growing silent as they watched the passionate display between the lovers. No one daring to say a word as Lexa spoke, some of their eyes darting of to the photo hanging proudly on the wall as they listened to the story unfold. Lexa’s thumb brushed under Clarke’s eye to catch a falling tear.“Then I just pulled you into my arms and kissed you. There was so much love there…so much it overwhelmed me and…,” Lexa searched Clarke’s eyes for a moment before continuing,“That was the first time I told you I loved you. I couldn’t help it. It just came out. I don’t remember anything before or after that night…but I know I didn’t regret it. Not after hearing the same words come from you.”Lexa took in a deep breath before pushing herself up, Clarke and the paramedics both telling her to stay down, but their words went unheeded. The brunette sat up fully with their help, the pain in her head having eased a little, and pulled Clarke into a hug, letting her wife’s head rest on her shoulder so she could whisper quietly in her ear.“There were some other things mentioned after that, but I don’t think it’s appropriate for everyone to hear,” A sharp gasp left Clarke’s throat, her arms tightening around Lexa’s body at the words,“I fell for you, Clarke. Not once…but twice. I didn’t think it was possible to just love someone so much, but there’s no denying how I felt that night. And there’s no denying how I feel now. I know we still have something to work on together, things that haven’t been discussed yet, but…I want you to know that I…I love you. More than anything.”Lexa couldn’t stop the words from leaving her lips. Didn’t want to. She wanted Clarke to know how she felt. The love for the blonde that consumed her entire being and just screamed for her to hold the woman tighter in her arms. To never let her go. Not again.“I love you, too, Lexa,” Clarke’s head nuzzled deeply into the crook of her neck, a few sniffles becoming muffled in her suit,“So damn much.”Lexa’s gaze lifted up, her eyes catching the her friend’s, who’s own eyes were a little wet with tears. Anya embraced Raven tightly, watching the scene intently unfold before her very eyes. Lexa gave her a curt nod, and Anya quickly swiped at her eyes before nodding back, the happiness for her younger sister evident in her eyes.As Clarke pulled away and placed a quick chaste kiss to her lips, Lexa thought, in that moment, that maybe they could overcome all the odds that seemed to be against them. With a little help from their friends and some much needed talking, they could get through this.They would get through this.Together. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- The night hadn’t turned out just how Clarke had expected it to. No, it didn’t. It turned out better.So much better than she could have dreamed.Here she was, sitting on her gallery floor, in the arms of her wife.Her wife, who remembered.Maybe not everything, but something. Something special to the both of them. The first time they had told each other that they loved one another.Clarke didn’t care as the whispers around them grew…all she cared about was being in Lexa’s arms. Feeling the brunette’s hands caress her back. Listening to her softly murmur words of comfort into her ears as she sobbed.Nothing else in that moment. Just her and Lexa. At least until the paramedics were basically tearing them apart to finish checking over Lexa. Even then, Clarke barely pulled away from her, leaving one hand wrapped tightly around Lexa’s and staying on the floor right next to her. The two men were quick to try finish up with Lexa, obviously feeling the brunette’s sudden unpleasantness at having her wife pulled away from her.“You said you regained a memory when you passed out, right Mrs. Woods?” One of the men asked her as he scribbled down a few things on a notepad.“Yes. The…uh, photo there I guess triggered it,” Lexa said, a finger pointing towards the large portrait.Both men glanced over at Clarke’s picture before turning back to each other and nodding. The man asking the questions, his last name ‘Moore’ as engraved on his badge, turned back to Lexa.“Did you experience any symptoms before you passed out? Headache, nausea, hot flashes?”Clarke watched as Lexa nodded her head,“A headache. It was pretty dull, really just more annoying than anything…but when I saw that picture it just…my head felt like it exploded.”Nodding, Moore wrote down a few things before closing the notepad and patting Lexa on the knee,“Well, it seems like you had a vasovagal response. It’s when your vagus nerves are overestimated from physical or, in your case, emotional overstimulation. It’s nothing serious. A lot of people experience it one time or another.”The other paramedic, ‘Owen’ written on his own badge, also turned to Lexa after packing a few things back into his bag,“You should be fine tonight, but we suggest giving a call to your doctor in the morning for a check up, just to be safe.”Clarke barely even registered the sigh of relief that escaped her lungs as Lexa turned to her with a comforting smile and a short nod before turning back to the men,“Thank you. I’ll be sure to give him a call in the morning.”Both men quickly helped them both off the floor, making sure Lexa didn’t feel lightheaded as Moore helped steady her on her feet. And with reassurance that she was fine, they were out the door. Everyone around them still looked a bit worried but, once they realized that everything was fine, they slowly began walking around the gallery once more. Anya was the first one by Lexa’s side, questions flying off her tongue as she pulled her sister into a hug, the rest of their friends not far behind.Clarke stayed glued to Lexa. Their hands not once coming undone from their entanglement as their friends surrounded them. Question after question was shot off at the brunette who tried to answer them as best she could. Details about her memories shot off her lips, Clarke staring at her the entire time she talked about it. In this moment, it seemed as if the Lexa she knew before the accident was back. She was radiant, happy. Not the awkward little thing she had been when meeting everyone for the ‘first’ time after the accident.It sent her heart leaping, bounding in happiness at the sight.Finally, after what seemed like hours of talking, Anya had shot a glance over to Clarke before smiling and pulling Raven into her side and speaking,“I think that’s enough for tonight. I’m sure you and Clarke have a lot of talking to do. We don’t want to keep you from that.”Her wife’s gaze shifted over to her’s, her emerald eyes seemingly a little darker than normal, before turning back to her sister,“Yeah, there’s a lot to go over. I think we’ll take our leave a little early. If that’s okay with you, Clarke?”Clarke could only nod her head, the events still making her feel as if she was on cloud nine. After a few rounds of goodbyes with their friends, Clarke, with Lexa in tow, made her way around the gallery and thanked everyone for coming before they took their leave. Clarke wasn’t at all surprised when Lexa hailed a cab, informing their driver to wait for their friends and tipping him a considerable amount before they left.The ride home was silent. The unspoken words between them filling the air with an almost tense calm that was ready to burst at any moment. Their hands had never strayed from each other’s through the rest of the night, and still stayed locked together as they rested on Lexa’s thigh. When they stopped at the curb of their house, Lexa handed the man some money before hopping out and helping Clarke step from the vehicle. It was a rush of legs. Lexa practically jogging up to the door, although very careful not to go to fast with Clarke, and unlocking it.And before Clarke knew what was happening, her back was against the door, legs wrapped securely around her wife’s waist as they stood in the dark entrance. This definitely wasn’t what she had expected when they walked in, but she wasn’t complaining. The overwhelming emotions flooded in her chest, the heat in her core also rising as she felt Lexa’s lips lower themselves to cover the lace covered skin of her neck.“God, Clarke. I can hardly explain how I feel right now. Everything I felt for you that night…and what I feel for you now…It’s all rising to the surface. It’s consuming me,” Lexa whispered as she dragged her lip’s back up to Clarke’s.Clarke’s chest heaved as she stared at Lexa, her lips tingling as they brushed softly against the brunette’s,“Then tell me. Tell me everything that you remember, Lexa. Tell me how you feel. I want to hear it.”Lexa pulled back a bit, her eyes searching Clarke’s ocean orbs, before a tiny grin pulled at her lips. With hands firmly gripping her thighs, Lexa pulled her wife from the door and made quick work of the stairs before making a beeline for their bedroom. Once they were inside and standing next to the bed, the brunette slowly lowered Clarke’s feet to the ground, her hands traveling up and finding purchase on her hips.“Everything about you drives me crazy,” Lexa started, her eyes boring into Clarke’s,“Your face, your hair, your body…everything. But the way it makes me feel…Clarke, that memory…it was like I was barely scratching the surface of my feelings for you when I told you I loved you for the ‘first’ time back in my office that day.”Clarke felt a tiny stab of pain from the mention of that day but was quick to push it aside, opting to instead leave it for another day. She could feel Lexa’s hands slowly making their way up her back, inching closer and closer to the zipper of her dress with every word. Before long the brunette was slowly dragging it down to reveal the expanse of her back.“I remember the way the rain hit my skin, made it cold. And then you came over, all concentrated and trying to figure out how to pose me,” Lexa’s lips slinked down the column of her neck as she pulled the dress down to sag at her shoulders,“Everything hit me then. How much I loved you. Every fiber of my being was telling me you were the one. The one that I wanted to spend my life with. I couldn’t ignore it any longer.”Clarke let out a strangled moan as Lexa nipped at her pulse point before soothing the spot with a gently rub of her nose.“I pulled you against me,” For emphasis, Lexa pulled Clarke’s hips even further into her’s, careful of her growing belly,“Just like this. My whole body burned, ached for me to just tell you how I felt. You had this beautiful blush on your cheeks and your mouth formed a little ‘o’…just like your doing now.”On instinct, Clarke bit down on her bottom lip before feeling Lexa’s thumb gently brush against it, urging it from between her teeth.“And then I kissed you. Pulled you impossibly closer to me. I just let everything go. I gave into my feelings. My feelings for you that just completely made myself lose control,” The brunette’s lips were centimeters away from her’s now, and green eyes locked with mesmerized blue,“And then I kissed you.”Clarke could feel the intense passion that threatened to overflow from Lexa and into her very own being as their lips crashed together. Lexa made quick work of sliding her dress off her arms and letting the fabric hit the floor with a soft thump. She could feel the goosebumps form along her skin as Lexa’s fingers ran up her sides, carefully skimming over the swell of her tummy, before coming to a stop right below her breasts. Before she could even think of what she was doing, Clarke was already pushing her wife’s jacket from her shoulders and letting it carelessly fall to the floor before reaching for the buttons of her shirt.Lexa’s clothes quickly joined Clarke’s dress on the floor, leaving Lexa standing in only her matching bra and panties and Clarke only clad in her panties. Both just took a moment to simply stare, eyes racking over soft flesh and ghosting fingers across each other. Clarke’s eyes wondered Lexa’s body once more, before meeting her darkened gaze, a slight feeling of unease in the pit of her stomach.“Lexa…are you sure about this?”Strong hands found her hips and once more pulled her flushed into the body before her, lips teasing at the shell of her ear,“I’ve never been more sure of anything. I want this, Clarke. I want you. Here. Now. I may not remember everything right now, and I’m not sure I ever will, but I know how I feel about you. I know last time I thought it was a bit early but I’m sure of this. I’m sure of us. I love you and I want nothing more than to show you how much I do.”The emotions welled up in Clarke’s throat and a few tears threatened to spill from her eyes. This was what she had been waiting for since that night they were together after Lexa’s accident. Her body craved to have Lexa. Craved to have her ravishing her body with her love. She had never brought up the subject after that night, too scared that she would make her wife uncomfortable and drive her further away. So, now, hearing that Lexa simply wanted to be with her, to have her, sent her heart pounding. Made her core burn with a desperate need that only her wife could sate.“Then you have me,” Clarke whispered against Lexa’s cheek.The brunette didn’t hesitate to once again sweep Clarke from her feet and leading them the rest of the way to the bed. When Lexa gently laid her down onto the bed and hovered over her, the only thing Clarke could do was marvel at her beauty. The way the moonlight fluttering across the room casted a hazy glow over her skin and hair. The way her eyes held a certain longing that she knew all too well. Her kiss swollen lips.Everything about Lexa Woods was beautiful.And Clarke didn’t once try to stop herself from switching their positions, greatly surprising Lexa when she straddled her panty clad hips. The blonde’s eyes stretched over the woman’s form, marveling in the taunt skin and soft abs that clenched below her. She let her fingers skate across the skin and smiled softly as she felt Lexa’s own fingers rub across the curve of her own belly. They both smiled at each other, the simple pleasure of enjoying feeling each other’s skin sparking between them. And that’s when she felt it. Twin gasps filled the room and shocked eyes darted down before meeting once more. Clarke was frozen, waiting to see if what she had felt was merely her imagination. And there it was again. “Did you…did you feel that?” Lexa rasped into the dark room as she slowly sat up.Clarke nodded dumbly. Her eyes darted back down, unbelieving that she had truly felt what she did,“Yeah…yeah, I did.”Her reply was faint. The words barley registering in the own ears as they both sat still and quite, waiting for the moment to happen again. And again. “Lexa. Oh my god…Little Bean kicked! He kicked!”Pure joy flooded her chest at the kick. Her thoughts of imagination only running wild washing away as she felt the firm pressure for a third time. Clarke wasn’t surprised when Lexa had remained silent. The brunette’s hands quickly soothing the spot where she had felt their baby kick. She continued to stare at the blonde’s belly, eyes shimmering with unhindered wonder as she waited for the baby to kick once more. But what shocked Clarke the most was Lexa bending forward to place her lips gently against her bare skin and being to quietly whisper.“Hi, Little Bean. I’m your momma. God, I just want to see you right now. So I can kiss your little cheeks, count all your tiny fingers and toes. I just want to…hold you. I want to you to look up at me with those big blue eyes that I know you’ll have just like your mommy’s. God, I can’t wait until your born.”The words pulled at Clarke’s heart. The tears from earlier that had threatened to fall now streaming down her cheeks as she gently tangled her fingers in Lexa’s hair as she continued to whisper to their baby. When she felt like her heart could bare no more room for the sweet words from her wife’s lips she tugged sharply at the roots of brunette hair and guided Lexa up until she could pull her in for a searing kiss.“I love you, Lexa. The way you talk to Little Bean…God, what are you doing to me?” Clarke asked breathlessly against Lexa’s lips, her emotions and physical needs climbing to greater heights than she had known possible.Plump lips found the tip of her nose in an innocent kiss before dipping down and tracing a heated trail along her exposed collarbone. Hands found her ass and pulled her further onto Lexa’s lap, her growing belly meeting the flat expanse of Lexa’s.Sweet, whispered words against her skin.“What I’ve been doing since the beginning.”And lips found purchase to needy flesh. A tangle of limbs falling to the bed in a passionate embrace. Neither knowing where one ended and the other began. But they couldn’t seem to care. Clarke didn’t care. Lexa’s words rang through her ears like chiming bells. The pleasant sound floating inside her entire being, filling her with unhindered happiness.She wasn’t sure what beginning Lexa spoke of. The beginning that Lexa had suddenly remembered only mere hours ago, memories of their precious embrace captured for all to see soaring through her mind…or the beginning that she didn’t remember. The beginning that they still hadn’t spoken of.The beginning that had started in the August rain, two college students not even expecting to find each other in the bitter downpour.The beginning that, if Clarke had anything to say about it, would one day sit permanently in the back of Lexa’s mind. Forever a memory that she could pull forward to reminisce over the fate that had unknowingly weaved it’s way between them. The fate that would pull them tightly together and keep them there, even with all the hardships they faced.And, here in Lexa’s arms, Clarke was sure that one day all their hardships would dwindle away and they could be happy. Happy with their lives, recovered memories or not. Happy with their child that they would welcome into the world together.With Lexa hovering over her Clarke allowed her hands to weave into brunette locks and pull her forward, their foreheads bumping softly,“Make love to me. Make new memories with me tonight…for the rest of our lives.”Lexa’s lips met her’s in a passionate embrace, the heat flaring between them as their hands explored supple flesh. One word…one desperate word that Clarke had hung on to since Lexa’s awaking at the hospital, was husked from Lexa’s lips. The one word she drew hope from. “Together.” No more words were needed. Only the fiery feel of each other’s love wrapped securely around them was required. Skin brushed across skin. Sharp breathes filled the quite room as sensitive nerves were overwhelmed. Highs crashing to new heights with silents screams. Soft moonlight bathing two passionately embraced bodies that explored one another like the night was their last.Love filled the room. Floated around like a hazy mist that spritzed across heated skin and settled sweetly into welcoming pores. Everything was perfect. A cold brush of air against her bare chest had Clarke’s eyes blinking open sleepily. She rubbed gently at her eyes to remove the haze that had settled in them before she felt a soft hand caress her belly. Looking down, Clarke could see Lexa leaning on her elbow, face aligned perfectly with the curve of her tummy. She smiled happily before letting a hand fall onto the top of Lexa's head and weave her fingers through the tousled waves.Lexa looked up at her, suddenly sheepish,“Hey, I’m sorry. Did I wake you?”Clarke shook her head slowly,“No, I was just a little cold. What are you doing up?”“I’ve been in and out of sleep. I stayed up after I felt Little Bean kick again. I’m surprised you haven’t felt her yet. She’s been restless for a good few minutes,” Lexa said before giving the swell one last gentle stroke and moving to lay next to Clarke.Th blonde was quick to roll on her side and place her head against Lexa’s chest so she could listen to the steady beat of her heart under her ear. Lexa’s arm wrapped around her and her other hand settled unconsciously back onto her belly. Clarke could only smile at the gesture, the brunette’s protective nature shinning through at the small habit. During the five months, even though they were never intimate, Clarke, more often than not, found herself awakening in the middle of the night to Lexa’s hand reaching across the space between them to rest comfortably against her belly.Of course, Lexa had touched her belly on more than one occasion, although hiding the movement with quick hugs and helping hands. Clarke had simply kept her smile to herself and let Lexa think she knew none the wiser of the fleeting skimming of fingers.But this…this was something different.This was Lexa openly caressing her bump with feather light touches because it was her’s to protect. Her’s to love and care for no matter the circumstances. And Clarke’s heart flipped at the thought. She knew that Lexa was truly apprehensive at first at the fact that the baby was truly theirs. Half of both of them. But Clarke could also tell, as time wore on, that Lexa simply didn’t seem to care anymore. Every day that passed Clarke would realize the little things. How Lexa slowly went from saying ‘the baby’ to ‘our baby’. How detached she had seemed at the first doctors appointment before finally seeing the little life on the ultrasound and becoming instantly mesmerized. How she had only given small comments during baby shopping to throwing everything they needed and more into their shopping cart. How after a rare long day at work she would come home to find Lexa curled up on the couch with a ‘what to expect when you expecting’ book resting on her evenly rising and falling chest.“You really love him. I can see it in your eyes and the way you smile when you talk to him and how your hand always seems to stay attached to my belly, even when we’re asleep,” Clarke said faintly, her eyes dropping just a bit as she nuzzled deeper into Lexa’s chest.A small chuckle shook at Lexa’s chest,“Yes, I love her very much. So much more than I ever thought possible, and I haven’t ever seen her yet.”“You’re totally wrong, Woods. It’s going to be a boy,” Clarke said lazily as she felt herself beginning to drift into the warm confides of sleep,“And we both love you, too. To the stars and back again.”And right before Clarke could fully fall under the spell of sleep, she felt Lexa place a light kiss to the crown of her head,“And I love you both. More than the stars themselves.”“How about Sophia for a girl?”Clarke watched as Lexa scrunched her nose up on the other side of the couch before shaking her head,“No, too common. We need something unique.”The blonde laughed as she scratched yet another name from the baby name list,“Okay, killjoy. No Sophia.”Sundays had become a routine over the past few weeks. Clarke and Lexa would laze about and simply talk to one another in the comfort of their own home. Rarely seeking the outside world unless Clarke felt too cramped and needed a breather in the fresh air. They always seemed to find their same spots around noon, though. Clarke propped up against the arm of the couch, legs stretched across it’s length while her feet rested in Lexa’s lap unconsciously massaging said feet. Normally they would curl up and watch a good movie but the past two Sundays had been dedicated to narrowing down baby names.“Carter for a boy?” Clarke asked, unsure.She got the reaction she was silently hoping for when Lexa finally shook her head after a few moments. Thankful to cross that name off the list her eyes racked down the other names adorning the paper, wondering quietly if their child’s name rested somewhere among the organized columns. Before she could voice another name, a loud knock from the front door startled both Lexa and Clarke from their relaxing atmosphere.Clarke looked quizzically at Lexa who simply shrugged her shoulders before carefully moving Clarke’s feet from her lap and standing up,“I’m not expecting anyone. Are you?”“Not that I know of. It’s probably Raven or Octavia looking to drag me out shopping for more baby clothes,” Clarke said as Lexa slowly walked out the living room and towards the front door.Clarke settled back against the couch and picked up the list of baby names once more. She scanned the paper a bit before a particular name caught her attention.“Well, that’s definitely not happening,” Clarke said as she crossed out the name.Right as she was about to dive fully back into the names, the sound of steadily rising voices had her up and off the couch in seconds, paper forgotten not the coffee table. The voices only grew louder, Clarke wondering if it was because she was getting closer to the front door or just the fact that the voices elevated themselves.“I told you I need to see her, now!” A curt feminine voice sounded.T“And I told you if you want to see my wife you’ll lower your voice and ask politely. I’m not letting you near her with all your seething anger. It’s not good for—.”“Lexa, who is it?” Clarke said before Lexa could finish her sentence.Lexa whipped around, jaw locked tightly in anger as she met Clarke’s gaze. But Clarke had stopped all bodily function as she saw the woman standing behind Lexa. Her heart leaped in her chest overcome with sudden bouts of concussion and…anger. The very person that she never thought she would be ready to see ever again. The very person who’s name she had just crossed off the baby name list. Abby Griffin. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- When Lexa first opened the front door, the last thing she was expecting was to have a woman, with an eerie resemblance to Clarke, sneer at her as if she were the devil himself. She also didn’t expect for the woman to demand that Clarke come to the door, anger unmistakably laced in her words and obviously directed towards her. Lexa’s mood had instantly swapped from peaceful and calm to confusion and pure anger.“I told you I need to see her, now!”Lexa stood her ground, knowing that she wasn’t going to let this woman anywhere near her pregnant wife. For all she knew, with the anger that practically seeped off the woman, she could potentially harm Clarke…and Lexa’s inner mama bear wasn’t going to have any of that.“And I told you if you want to see my wife you’ll lower you voice and ask politely. I’m not letting you near her with all your seething anger. It’s not good for—.”“Lexa, who is it?”Lexa spun around to see Clarke standing a few feet behind her, eyebrows knit in confusion at what was taking place. When the blonde’s eyes snapped over to the woman standing in the doorway Lexa could see the clear exchange of emotions that crossed over her face. The most dominate being anger.“Mom? What the hell are you doing here?” Clarke demanded, still rooted to the spot where she stood.“Mom? Holy shit,” Lexa thought as her gaze shot between the two women.Abby tried to cross the threshold of the door only for Lexa to snap from her inner thoughts and block all further access into the house,“No. I told you, you aren’t getting near her until you calm down.”“Obviously you still don’t remember everything, but I’m her mother. I have a right to see my only daughter,” Abby said as she leered at Lexa while trying to move past her once more.Lexa’s hand shot out and placed it as gently as she could manage with her overwhelming emotions against Abby’s shoulder,“I don’t care who you are. You are not going near her and my unborn child without taking time to calm down. You’re way past upset, I can tell, and if you keep getting more upset than there’s no telling what you’ll do. You could lash out, overcome with anger. So the only way you’ll get any closer to Clarke than you already are is if you take some deep breathes and talk in a calm manner and ask me if you can see her again.”A soft gasp came from behind her and when Lexa turned to make sure Clarke was okay all she could see was her standing with her hands protectively holding her belly with wide eyes. Lexa knew that her possessive comment about their baby might have shocked her wife a bit…but she couldn’t help it. No one who could cause possible harm to Clarke or their baby, family or not, was going to be around either of them. Not if she had any say in it.When Abby let out a scoff she turned back and narrowed her sights back onto the woman,“Clarke, she can’t be serious. Tell her I’m not going to hurt you! You know I would never lay a hand on you or your baby!”Eyes shifting back to the blonde Lexa watched as she inwardly struggled for a moment before dropping her hands at her sides and balling them into fists, knuckles turning white,“Lexa’s right. I don’t think it’s good for the baby if you’re around while you’re so angry. I…I don’t know why you’re here—well actually I have a pretty good idea as to why—but I think it’d be best if you left for now and came back once you’ve calmed down.”Lexa wouldn’t deny that she was surprised at her wife’s decision, but when she caught sight of the slight shake of Clarke’s shoulders and the unmistakable glaze of tears in her eyes she knew that something was wrong. Where her hand still rested on her shoulder, Lexa could feel Abby tense up as she let out a near silent gasp and let her emerald orbs wonder back onto the older woman.“No! I’m not leaving until you tell me what the hell has been going on here!” Abby quickly shoved Lexa’s hand away before reaching into the purse on her arm and pulling out a crinkled newspaper,“I have to find out that my daughter’s wife has been cheating on her through some newspaper that I just happened to find sitting in the lounge at the hospital? Also finding out that you’re pregnant with my grandchild?!”Unexpected rage boiled in Lexa’s chest at Abby’s words, her heart pounding heavily in her chest. For some unknown reason her body’s reaction to the older woman’s presence had been nothing but anger and a hint of sadness. Lexa couldn’t remember just exactly what had occurred between them before she lost her memories but she was sure she would be finding out soon.Lexa’s rage was pushed aside as she saw Clarke shoot from her spot and start taking fast pace steps towards her mother. Seeing the obviously uncontrolled anger in her wife’s eyes, the brunette quickly moved away from Abby to grab ahold of Clarke to keep her from getting any closer. The blonde struggled against her, desperately trying to reach the older woman.“You do not have the right to call yourself this baby’s grandmother! You lost the right to be apart of my life and my baby’s the moment you cut off all ties with me when I got engaged to Lexa! What, did think just because you saw that headliner in the newspaper that you could come walking back into my life? To say I told you so? Is that why you’re here?”Clarke’s words made Lexa feel as if she had hit a brick wall. She was the reason that Abby apparently wasn’t in Clarke’s life anymore? A mess of jumbled thoughts piled into the brunette’s brain as she tried to will her mind to remember something as to why Abby, apparently, didn’t like her and didn’t want her in Clarke’s life…but nothing cam to her.“I’m not here to say I told you so! I’m here to make sure that she,” Abby seethed as she pointed an accusing finger towards Lexa,“isn’t causing harm to you or the baby! With this article I’m more than sure you’ve been under a lot of stress, and that’s not good for you or the baby! Why are you even still with her, Clarke? She cheated on you! God, almost half of the country knows she cheated on you and yet here you are with her!”Clarke stopped struggling against Lexa immediately. The brunette’s throated tightened and she wondered if her wife agreed with her mother. With the silence that wrapped around the room her worry only increased…at least until Clarke began to let out a deep chuckle.“I’ll be the first one to admit that not everything has been ideal for the past few months,” Clarke began, her hands reaching up to where Lexa’s rested on her hips to pull her closer,“But you have no idea what’s really been happening here, do you?”Abby’s face twisted up into confusion at her daughter’s words,“What more is there, Clarke?”“You obviously didn’t read the entire article, right?” When Abby only shook her head in negative Clarke merely chuckled once more,“Then that means that you didn’t read the part where Lexa was in an accident five months ago and lost all memory of me. She doesn’t remember meeting me, our first date, asking to marry me, or me calling her to tell her I finally got a positive pregnancy test.”On instinct Lexa’s hands ran over Clarke’s tummy,“Clarke…”“The last thing that Lexa remembered when she woke up in the hospital was her walking into a party to surprise her old girlfriend, Costia, the one that’s in the newspaper,” Clarke said as she lowered her gaze to the floor.Lexa’s looked up from her wife to meet the hardened eyes of Abby. Her chest ached with every word that came from Clarke’s mouth. She could almost feel the lingering sadness that was laced between each syllable and all she could think about was that she was the cause of it.“Lexa didn’t make the best decisions after her accident,” Clarke continued,“At first she only wanted to see Costia, but Anya convinced her to at least try and remember what we were - what we are. Things were awkward at first, to say the least, but we worked through them. Not long after the accident Lexa found out I was pregnant and things seemed as normal as they could be for the next five months. That’s when I saw the newspaper…the one you have. I was so mad that I went to Lexa’s office and did nothing but yell at her for seeing Costia behind my back. I barely gave her any real time to explain before just exploding. It wasn’t the fact that she saw Costia, because I understand she had her reasons…it was the fact that she didn’t tell me. That she kept it a secret.”Lexa’s fingers flexed against Clarke’s belly, sorrow filling her chest as Clarke continued to share with her mother about the events that had taken place. From Lexa’s declaration of love that day in the office, to Costia’s deal, and down to her fainting and remembrance at Clarke’s gallery the night before. Abby had let out a small series of gasps during the reveal, each one almost like a punch to Lexa’s chest. When Clarke finished her story they stood there in silence, allowing the older woman time to process the new information that drifted into her ears.“Why tell me all this? Is this supposed to help me forget the fact that Lexa basically cheated on you?” Abby commented.Clarke’s hands pushed Lexa’s from her body before calmly making her way towards her mother and standing a few inches away from her,“No, it’s not. The reason why I told you all of that is because I want to make one thing very clear to you.”Lexa could see back falter back a step at the harshness in Clarke’s voice, her voice trying to hide the shakiness that it held,“And what’s that?”“That Lexa loves me,” Clarke said confidently, body standing tall and proud at the confession,“She-we’ve-made some mistakes that neither one of us are proud about…but all of this that has happened as made me realize that. No matter how much we’ve gone through it always ends with Lexa being by my side. She had her reasons to see Costia, them being that she was lost and none of us were smart enough to see that so she did what she thought would help her find her way.”Lexa chose the moment to make her presence still known to both women,“You all can’t blame yourselves for that Clarke. I should have told you how I felt instead of just hiding it.”Clarke turned to Lexa with understanding eyes,“We’ll talk about that later, Lex. Okay?”Lexa hesitantly nodded her head before Clarke turned back to Abby.“But I guess what I’m trying to say is that no matter what obstacle gets in her way…Lexa always seems to remember the love that we have. I may have began to lose hope after some time, but she always surprises me. She did such little things that slowly convinced me that her feelings for me were still inside her. Even after seeing Costia for those five months…I was sure that Lexa had only remembered her love for her old girlfriend, but I was wrong. She surprised me yet again. The only thing that came from her was her telling me that she didn’t feel what she thought she felt when she first woke up in the hospital. Her love for Costia wasn’t that of a lover but of a friend. So, I have no doubt in my mind that Lexa will always love me…just like I’ll always love her.”With a tight throat and shaky hands Lexa made her way over to Clarke and wrapped an arm around her waist and pulling her close. The love that she thought couldn’t grow any deeper for the blonde swelled in her chest like a balloon. Growing so large that she thought it might surely burst. While their eyes locked to share a silent message between them Abby fumed in her spot.“So that’s it? Everything she’s done, the going behind your back, is just forgiven?”Lexa spoke up before Clarke could,“No. I’ve still got some making up to do for that one, but we’re working on that together. We’ve agreed no more secrets between us and we’re trying to communicate more than we were.”Abby sucked in an angered breath,“Clarke, you can’t be seriou—.”“No, mom. I don’t want to hear it anymore. Yes, Lexa made some mistakes but so did I. She’s not the only one to blame here. So, I’m not going to let you continue to stand here and place the blame on just her. We’ve got a lot more talking to do, but that’s between us,” Clarke said, her own arm coming to wrap around Lexa,“Now, is there something else you want to talk about or is that it?”The older woman looked taken aback for a moment before sighing,“I guess there’s no changing your mind on the matter then. I actually wanted to sit down and talk with you, Clarke. I want to be apart of your baby’s life…if you’ll let me.”Lexa’s eyes flickered to Clarke’s face and watched as she contemplated the offer.“I can’t give you an answer to that yet. I’m sure Lexa has a lot of questions right now so I need to answer those before I can say yes or no. I think it’d be best if you left for now and I’ll contact you later, okay?”Abby knew it wasn’t necessarily a no but it also wasn’t close to a yes either. Lexa watched as the older woman struggled a bit with her words before slowly nodding and giving them a small smile.“I understand. I’m staying at the Four Seasons until Friday. When you’re ready just call the front desk and they’ll connect you to my room.”Clarke nodded silently, arm tightening even more around Lexa as her mother turned to walk back through the open door behind her. When she crossed back through the threshold Abby turned back and gave them anther soft smile.“I’ll be waiting to hear from you, Clarke. Goodbye.”And with that Abby had fully walked away from the door and towards the parked car that sat on the curb in front of their house. Neither Clarke nor Lexa moved as they watched the woman climb into the vehicle. With a wave from the window, Abby finally drove off back towards the city allowing the couple to breath a little easier. Removing her arms from around Clarke’s body Lexa made her way over to close the front door before locking it and turning back to look at Clarke.The blonde had curled into herself, hands clutching her tummy and shoulders shaking silently. Automatically thinking something was wrong with the baby, Lexa ran over to her wife and covered Clarke’s hands with her own.“Clarke, is something wrong with the baby?” Lexa asked quietly as she lifted Clarke’s chin with a gentle fingers.When the blonde’s eyes met her’s Lexa could see the tears that streamed down her face. The brunette’s heart clenched painfully in her chest as she pulled her wife into her arms, hands running comfortingly over her back.“Hey, talk to me. What’s wrong?”A few sniffles came from Clarke before she spoke,“Her just showing up. Lexa, we were doing so good and then she had to come in here and bring everything back to the surface. I know we haven’t finished talking everything over but is it too much to ask for just a few days of not worrying about that? For us to just relax and focus on us and the baby for a change?”“I know. I know. But there’s some things we can’t control, Clarke. If I could have helped it she wouldn’t have stepped foot in this house.”“It’s not your fault, Lexa. I should have known that she would have ended up hearing about what happened sooner or later,” Clarke whispered before pulling back and looking up and her wife,“I’m guessing you have some questions about what I said earlier, right?”Lexa gave her a serious look, pulling her body closer to her own,“We don’t have to talk about it right now if you don’t want to. I know that was stressful to you. I can wait until you’re calm enough to talk about it.”“Okay. How about an early dinner and a movie and then we’ll talk it over?” Clarke asked as she nuzzled into Lexa’s chest.Lexa placed a kiss to the crown of her head,“Sounds perfect to me. Now, what are you and Lil Bean craving?”Clarke laughed as she leaned back and looked at Lexa with a bright sparkle in her eyes,“How about spaghetti and pickles?”Lexa grimaced at the combination but smiled none the less,“I think I can make that happen.”Clarke giggled happily before beginning to pull her wife towards the kitchen. Lexa couldn’t help the smile that broke over her face at the the sound of the blonde’s happiness. She could still see the unwavering tension that had risen in Clarke’s body from Abby’s appearance but knew better than to press the topic on her. She wanted her wife to talk to her when she was ready, no matter how badly she wanted to know just what had caused the rift between the mother and daughter.And who knows, maybe Lexa’s decisions would be what finally wiped away the seemingly obvious feud between the tiny family. She just hoped that what ever happened in the end, that it would be what was best for Clarke and their child.And maybe for herself as well. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Clarke watched nervously as the credits to some Netflix movie rolled across the TV. If she was being honest, the blonde didn’t even remember the name of the movie let alone what it was about. The nerves that sat in a knot in her stomach only seemed to grow as the credits finished rolling, giving way to the Netflix home screen.Not once did she think that she was about to explain to her memory impaired wife just why she and her mother weren’t on speaking terms. Before the accident Lexa had known every detail about the fall out she had with Abby…and she didn’t like it one bit that she had to be the one to repeat it all. Lexa always understood that she felt uncomfortable talking about her mother and rarely pushed the subject on her unless she thought absolutely necessary.And Lexa seemed to remember the uncomfortable feeling that she always felt when talking about Abby.That’s why they were still sitting silently on the couch, neither one willing to speak the first word of the inevitable conversation.“I’m going to wash these up,” Lexa said quietly as she stood from the couch, grabbing their plates from the coffee table as she went.Clarke watched hopelessly as Lexa disappeared through the living room’s threshold towards the living room. Moving to the edge of couch, the blonde rested her elbows against her knees and let her head fall into the palms of her hands. Everything was going good…better than she had expected it to with everything that has happened. But now, it seems like they’ve taken two steps forward only to take four steps back.After Abby left everything had been fine…perfect even. They had cooked dinner together, Clarke sneaking her fingers into the sauce when Lexa wasn’t looking only for the brunette to catch her and pin her to the counter with a kiss as ‘punishment’. But as they started the film and ate with just a few whispered words did Clarke begin to notice the changes forming between them because of the unexplained situation.She could feel the obvious awkward tension that had settled between them during the movie. Lexa sat a little further away from her on the couch than normal, her hand occasionally brushing against her thigh being the only contact throughout the film. And Clarke had pretended that she didn’t catch Lexa sneaking curious glances towards her, her mouth opening only to snap shut as she tried to bring up the subject. But thankfully she never did.Thankfully her mind somehow told her it wouldn’t help Clarke to bring it up before she was ready. Clarke let out a deep sigh as she suddenly felt hands kneading at her shoulders. She let her body relax as Lexa’s fingers eased out the knots that had formed under her skin from the day’s events.“We don’t have to talk about it, Clarke. I can see how it’s making you feel. You’re stressed and tense…it’s not good for you or the baby,” Lexa said as she leaned over the back of the couch, arms moving to drape around her growing belly.Clarke leaned back into the warmth of her wife and let her eyes flutter close,“Yes, we do. You need to know what happened between my mother and I. It’s only fair because, no matter how much I hate it to, it involves you.”A moment of silence passed between them.“Am I the reason you don’t talk to your mother?”The words wrapped around Clarke’s heart and squeezed painfully on the sensitive organ. Yes and no. Yes, Lexa was one reason that she no longer spoke to Abby…but she wasn’t the reason.Clarke turned around to face Lexa, making the brunette remove her arms and stand up once more,“I…it’s hard to explain, Lex. You’ll understand once I tell you everything, but I want you to know that you are not the full reason why I don’t talk to her. I made that decision on my own and technically she did to.”The blonde could see the somewhat confused look on the CEO’s face and knew that it was going to be a long night.“This is going to be a draining talk. Let’s run a bath and talk there.”Lexa, still slightly tense and confused, nodded before moving around the couch to help Clarke to her feet. As she lead her up the stairs towards their room, Clarke’s thoughts became a jumbled mess as she tried to find the best way to explain the situation to Lexa. Every way she pictured only seemed to end up with the brunette blaming herself…and that was the very last thing she wanted to happen.When they finally entered the bathroom Clarke realized that she had only suggested a bath because she was stalling. Stalling the inevitable conversation that she would have to have with Lexa. In the back of her mind, Clarke had thought the early dinner and movie would have been enough to settle her fears enough for her to tell her story…but it wasn’t. Still, she could not quell the bundle of nerves that sat in the pit of her stomach and she feared that she may find herself empty it’s contents into the nearby toilet.Her emotions must have been easily shown on her face because once Lexa had turned on the water in the tub and spun around to face her, the brunette’s eyes filled with remorse.“Clarke…,”Lexa began only for her wife to shake her head.“Don’t. This needs to be done. I’m…I’m not worried for myself…I’m worried for you. I don’t—,” Clarke pursed her lips before dropping her head to stare at the ground,” I don’t want you blaming yourself when I tell you. When you first found out you did…blame yourself that is. It didn’t take me long to help you figure out that it wasn’t you, but now…I know you’re not really who you were before so I’m scared for who you are now -that I won’t be able to convince you that you did nothing wrong.”Soft fingers slid under her chin and forced ocean eyes to gaze into emerald,“Clarke, I can’t guarantee what I’ll feel but I’ll do my best to listen to everything you have to say. With the way your mother acted around me earlier I can tell it’s nothing good and…I don’t know if it’s my subconscious or something else entirely but everything is just screaming at me that it’s my fault.”“No. It’s not, Lexa. This is one thing that I will not let you blame yourself for. I chose this. Not you.”Lexa’s eyes clouded in confusion once more, her mind obviously not believing that Clarke was the reasoning for her no longer speaking to Abby. Clarke only responded with a deep sigh before pulling her wife close and beginning to pull at the hem of the white t-shirt that hugged her frame. The only sound that filled the bathroom was the water pouring out the faucet and the light rustle of clothing as the couple undressed each other.As Lexa slowly unbuttoned her shirt and pulled it from Clarke’s shoulders the feeling between them wasn’t one of sexual desire but of comfort. Comfort of being in each other’s presence with such familiarity despite the unsettled tension between them. Clarke reveled in this feeling. Wanted it to stay wrapped around her body for as long as possible and never let go. But she knew it wouldn’t last long…not with the discussion about to be held between them. She would try her best to keep it from evading them and leaving nothing but frustration and guilt in it’s passing.Finally, both naked as the day they were born, Lexa carefully helped Clarke lower herself into the bath before finding the spot behind her. Bathing together had been a regular thing between them before Lexa’s accident and Clarke missed it greatly. Sure, the brunette had found herself sitting on the edge of the tub while Clarke bathed more than once over the past five months but never actually hopped in with her. So when Lexa pulled her back to rest against her chest the blonde let out a shuttering breath at the all too familiar feeling.The feeling of home.Of safety. Of love. Nothing compared to being wrapped in Lexa’s arms while the warm water encompassed their bodies, washing away every worry that clung to their skin.But once again, Clarke found herself stalling. Fingers dancing along tan thighs and flicking at the bubbles that surrounded them. She didn’t want this peace to end. To become overwhelmed with the tension that had lingered between them downstairs in the living room. Didn't want to see the guilt that she knew would more than likely rise in Lexa’s eyes.She wanted to become lost in this time. To stop and capture this memory, to hold forever dear to her heart. But she knew in order for them to move on, to try and put this behind them or at least work it out, she would have to give the brunette her story. Her last memory that she shared with her mother before removing her from her life.“My mom…Everything happened right after got engaged,” Clarke began quietly.Suddenly, in that moment, Clarke wished she could trade places with Lexa. Shift in POV (Lexa) Brunette curls spilled over a soft pillow. The owner’s head turned swiftly to the side, said curls tumbling down to frame a sharp jawline. Slender fingers clenched onto the cotton sheets, their grip desperate to find a solid anchor to keep them grounded. Long black lashes fluttered against high cheekbones as emerald eyes danced wildly behind closed lids. Pink lips mumbled incoherent words that grew in volume with each passing second.“It’s my fault,” The words were muddled with sleep but were clear as day to anyone who may have been awake in the room.Colorful images danced behind the closed lids of the brunette. Flashes of her dream -her memory- making her toss and turn in the large bed and thankfully not waking it’s other occupant who slept soundly beside to her. Harsh whispers drifted down the hallway of the beautiful restaurant as Lexa searched for her girlfriend, well fiancé now, and her mother. Almost two years after graduating from college with the love of her life, Clarke, Lexa had finally proposed. Surrounded by their friends and family the brunette had sunk down to one knee in front of a sea of people in the restaurant and poured her very soul to the woman. She got the expected reaction from Clarke when she pulled out the ring that had once been her mother’s - a simple oval shaped diamond with a single band, nothing too flashy. Blue eyes filled with tears, pale hands covered her mouth as a gasp slipped past her lips, cheeks rosy with love. And Clarke said yes. Even before Lexa could utter any words. But that didn’t stop her. She stayed where she was, her heart pounding against her chest because she already knew the answer, but still she spoke. Spoke the words, the emotions, that the blonde before her made her feel. The unconditional love she felt every moment she was with Clarke. The world around them became dark, no one else had mattered. And as she continued with her words, tears welling in her eyes and threatening to spill over, Clarke had dropped down to the floor with her. Familiar hands found her own and held on tightly, their eyes never leaving one another. And once she had let every word flow from her heart and straight into the ears of the woman she loved, Clarke had launched herself into her arms shouting ‘yes’ as many times as she could.. Silky lips didn’t hesitate to claim hers as their friends around them, and the occupants of the restaurant that had grown quiet, bursted into cheers. Congratulations filled the space, hands patted their backs but still they did not pull away from each other. When they finally pulled away, Lexa slipped the ring onto Clarke’s finger, her smile lighting up like a thousand suns when it fit perfectly. Her mother’s words rang in her ears as she stared at the simple piece of jewelry adorning her finance’s finger. “This ring has been in your father’s family for generations. It is said that this ring is magical. That it will reshape itself to fit perfectly to the finger of your one true love when it is handed down to you. Anya has no wish for it so it’s only right it goes to you now, Lexa.” Of course, being almost eleven at the time, Lexa had a hard time believing such a story. She had spent a better half of her day after her mother had handed her the ring staring at it and hoping to see some sort of movement as it reshaped itself. But after so much staring she had grown tired and fallen asleep, the ring sitting beside her on her bed. And when she had awoken hours later, something had seemed different about the ring. Young mind running wild, she had done nothing but grabbed the piece of jewelry and ran to her mother. Lexa’s breath had all but stopped when she grabbed her mother’s hand and tried to slip the ring onto her finger…only for it to no longer fit. Her mother had smiled softly at her and ran her fingers through wild brunette curls. “You’re true love is out there somewhere, Lexa. Just waiting for you to put that ring on their finger one day…I only hope I can be there for such an event.” A few days after being given the ring, Lexa’s mother had passed away. No one besides her father knowing about the creeping of cancer that had settled wrongfully into her lungs. As Lexa stood next to her mother’s coffin, Anya holding her tightly and their father behind them, her hand had closed into a fist, the ring sitting loosely on her finger…unknowingly waiting for the day that a beautiful blonde would waltz into her life. Lexa had sadly at the memory. She remembered the disbelief she had felt when her mother had first told her the story. And then remembered the sudden rush of astonishment when she found the ring no longer fit her mother and was instead curved to fit her true love. Lexa wouldn’t lie and say she was hesitant to call Clarke her true love, honestly never thinking she would find that special person, until one certain day. The blonde had found the ring when pulling out a shirt to borrow from her drawer and had found the little velvet box. And when Lexa walked in, fresh from her shower, she had stopped when she had seen Clarke gazing lovingly at the ring that sat perfectly on her finger before quickly removing it and apologizing. And Lexa could only kiss her, all hesitance drifting from her mind as she relived the image of the ring on Clarke’s finger. A perfect fit. “Mom! You can’t be serious! You’re being ridiculous!” “Lexa was brought from her swirl of memories by the sound of her fiancé’s annoyed voice. “I am, Clarke! I can’t let you do this to yourself!” Coming to a stop before an open doorway, Lexa poked her head just slightly around to see Clarke and Abby standing alone in what looked to be a private party room. Lexa kept silent as she watched Clarke pace in front of her mother who just leaned against the large table in the center of the room, arms crossed and anger etched into her features. “Can’t let me do what, mom? Be happy? Live my life the way I want to?” “You won’t be happy with her! Lexa isn’t good for you! You’ll be getting yourself into nothing bu—,” Clarke was quick to cut her off. “Not good for me? Is this really because she won’t make me happy or the fact that you don’t think Lexa and I can support each other?” “No! I’m saying this because if you marry her you’ll be putting yourself right into her debt! She’s got God knows how much out on student loans and still no job offers!” Abby said hotly. Clarke pinned her mother with a hard glare,“Does it really look like I care how much debt Lexa is in? Not that it’s any of your business to begin with. And Lexa’s had plenty of job offers but she’s turned them down in favor of starting her own company! I’ve told you this before, mom! When will you listen?” “Clarke, even though I didn’t like the idea, I supported you when you wanted to get a degree in photography…but this? I can’t sit back and let you get married to someone who barely has any means of an income and is in debt. You’ll be ruined before you can make it to the honeymoon!” Lexa’s world felt like it had shattered around her. She, of course, had noticed that Abby hadn’t been the most thrilled when Clarke had announced they were dating. And the older woman wasn’t at all pleased when, after graduation, she had confessed to trying to start her own business. Thinking about it now, Lexa realized that Abby didn’t share in the buzzing excitement after her proposing to Clarke, opting to steal her daughter away for a quiet moment which lead Lexa to go search for them. She could also tell that over the course of her and Clarke dating that the mother daughter duo had become tense around each other. Sometimes family dinners, which Lexa attended on occasion, would be filled with curt sentences and silence, barley a giggle escaping anyone’s lips. “All you care about is money and reputation! You fought with me for the longest because I told you instead of wanting to be a surgeon I wanted to open up my own photography studio! You wanted nothing but to be able to brag to your co-workers what wonders your daughter was doing in the medical field!” Clarke huffed out,“You wanted me to get married to Wells because he was some big shot lawyer and you thought that if my career choice fell through then he would be there to support me!” Lexa could see Abby’s face turn into one of shock, almost as if Clarke wasn’t supposed to know that valuable bit of information. “Yeah! I know about that! I overhead you talking on the phone with Wells’ mom a few months ago! How you said that when this thing between Lexa and I ended that you would set us up together!” “Clarke, you weren’t suppo—.” “Wasn’t supposed to hear it? Well, guess what? I did! I know this is all started the moment I introduced you to Lexa! You disliked her from the beginning because she didn’t come from money or a powerful family name! I could see it every time you looked at her! And it only got worse when she trusted you enough to tell you how many student loans she had to take out so she could follow her dreams. And yet all you did was silently detest her,” Clarke seethed, inching closer to her mother with each sentence. “Sweetie, please. I only want what’s best for you,” Abby tried to reason. “What’s best for me is Lexa! I don’t care that she may have years of debt to pay off or the fact that she doesn’t have a job while trying to start her own company, which you would know is actually going really well if you actually talked to her instead of giving her the silent treatment,” Clarke snapped,“Lexa is and always will be the best thing for me. She supports me unconditionally in every thing I do, unlike some people who quietly wait for me to fall on my ass like they expect me to. Well, that’s not going to happen! My fiancé is going to be the best goddamn CEO in all of fucking Seattle and I’m going to open the best fucking photography studio in downtown!” Lexa knew how Clarke could get when she started raising her voice, defending what was her’s to protect. Heart swelling, the brunette was just about to make herself known when Abby deeply chuckled. “She’s going to ruin you, Clarke. It may not be tomorrow or next year…but she will. I’m not going to let my only daughter do this to herself,” Abby fixed Clarke with a deadly glare,“I don’t give her my blessing, not that she had the decency to ask in the first place.” The brunette could see Clarke reel back a bit, possibly shocked by what her mother had repeated a second time that night. And, like always, the blonde shocked her when she simply shook her head and laughed. “You really think I care about your blessing right now? I don’t even know who you are anymore…not after this. First you hate Lexa because of who she isn’t, and don’t try to argue because you know it’s true,” Clarke quickly cut off her mother who was ready to argue,“Then you think that just because she’s in debt with no current job that she’ll ruin me. Oh, and we can’t forget about how you were planning to set me up with Wells when you know how much I love her…and you still think I’d care about your blessing?” Abby’s eyebrow scrunched in anger,“You should care about my blessing! You know how much your father cared about giving his blessing to whoever wanted to marry you! He handed that right down to me before he passed away!” “No! You don’t get to use him like that! You know he would never deny his blessing to someone that loves me like Lexa does! Especially for your pathetic reasons! He may not be here today but I know in my heart that he would approve of Lexa! Because she’s smart, beautiful, caring, and so much more! But more importantly because she loves me and puts me before anything!” Clarke’s sniffled a bit before raising her head high and squaring her shoulders,“Just like I’m about to do for her.” When Abby gazed upon her daughter in confusion, Clarke only seemed to stand taller. Becoming her own rock to lean on. To support the decision that she desperately didn’t wan to make, but was going to anyway. “I don’t want you around if this is how you’re going to be. I’m happy with Lexa and that will never change. We could be out on the streets for all I care and I would still stay by her side just like I know she would do for me. I don’t care about if she has money or if she’s the poorest person on the planet. All I care about is her. I care about is who she is as a person and how much she loves me…that’s all that matters. She can ‘ruin’ me as much as she wants but it won’t change how I feel about her,” Clarke whispered harshly to her mother. Abby fumed quietly in her spot, each word like an added blow to her ego. And when she saw the older woman about to open her mouth once more to retort, Lexa could no longer keep herself hidden. When her body was no longer hidden behind the doorway, Abby’s gaze instantly flickered over to her’s, Clarke’s back to her unaware of her presence until she spoke. “I may not be in the best place financially right now, but I can assure you that I would never ‘ruin’ Clarke,” After the first word left her mouth Clarke had whipped around and stared at her with wide eyes,“Yes, I’m in debt, but it’s nothing that a few years of hard work can’t handle. No, I didn’t have a family that came from money, but I had two parents who gave me everything they could and more…and would still be trying their damn hardest if they were still here.” Clarke was instantly by her side at the mention of her parents, never having talked to anyone about them besides the blonde herself and their closest friends. “My dad did everything he could to try and put Anya and I through college before he passed away. And everything he did helped because, in the end, I graduated, even if I had to take out some loans, and I’m soon to be starting my own business that you seemed so worried won’t be worth anything,” Lexa could feel the confidence that she had spent so many years building rising to the surface,“And I’m damned sure that my company will be the best. If there’s anything I learned from my parents while growing up, it’s that the Woods family doesn’t quit. I’m not going to give up just because someone tells me I don’t have the means to start my own company. There’s always a way…and I seem to have had no trouble finding my way. Nothing is set in stone right now but my company is underway and will be rising in the next year or so, I guarantee that, but if you’re too blind to see that I’m not lying…then that’s your problem.” Abby huffed angrily, her fists clenching at her sides, knuckles white in their grip. Right as the older woman was about to reprimand the brunette for her words, Lexa was quick to hold up a hand to stop her. “And even if my company was to fall through, I wouldn’t put Clarke in that position with me. I would, and will be, the first person to make sure that her name is no where near the debt that I owe. My plan isn’t to drag her down with me into some depressing hole where we have no money or home. My plan…is to support her, give her what she needs to pursue her passions and the careers she’s chosen, and to make sure she succeeds in life. And I know it’s the same way she feels for me. We support each other, which you would see if you weren’t so quick to put us down. The last thing I wanted to be was rude to you, Abby, but now I see that can’t be helped,” Lexa carefully removed herself from Clarke’s arms and moved to stand in front of the older woman,“I don’t care what you think of me, what you thought of me. I may have wanted your blessing before asking Clarke to marry me, but now I see that I wouldn’t have gotten it anyway…not that I would have needed it. As long as I’m sure that it’s Clarke who loves and wants to marry me, then I don’t care what anyone else says. The goddamn president of the United States could say he disapproves of our marriage and I still would’t care. Because it doesn’t matter what you or anyone else thinks. It’s what that woman —that gorgeous creature who has done nothing but love me— thinks. And what she thinks…is that she loves me.” At this point, Lexa could feel the waves of anger rolling off of Abby. She could see the older woman holding herself back, obviously aware that she had no arguments left and would only further embarrass herself if she continued. And just when she thought Abby’s anger couldn’t grow anymore than it already had, Clarke chose that moment to appear at her side. “It’s not what I think,” Clarke whispered, eyes blazing into hers as she ignored her mother,“It’s what I know. I’ve known since the beginning, since I saw you standing at the fountain in the rain, that I loved you. I didn’t know it then, but I do now. I love you more than anything, Lexa…nothing will change that.” Her world spun around her. The simplest of words making her feel weightless…making her feel loved. She had what she wanted in life. She didn’t need some fancy company to make her happy. Because Clarke did that. She would be fine with flipping burgers for the rest of her life if it meant Clarke’s love for her stayed eternal. But Lexa was determined to show Abby that she could, and would, provide for Clarke. Would care for her like no other out there. Support her and give her everything she ever desired. She would start her company, turn it into the biggest one in Seattle and share her success with the world. Show other’s, Abby in specific, that just because she was in a little debt and didn’t come from a family with money that she couldn’t make a name for herself. But as she thought about her success, Lexa realized one thing. She wouldn’t do it for others. No. She would do it for herself. She would do it for Clarke. For their future. Together. And everything seemed to be sealed in fate when Clarke pulled her down for a sweet kiss. Filled with the passion that burned between them. The love that they held for one another. Neither cared that Abby had stormed from the room and the gesture…and neither could care that it would be the last time that they would hear from her. Clarke would be upset for the next few weeks, but that would slowly sink away as she realized that she didn’t need someone who only thought that she was doing wrong in life…even if it was her own mother. And Lexa had her bouts of guilt, expressing through worried lips that Clarke’s broken relationship with her mother was her own fault, and the blonde would shush her. Telling her that it was her choice to shoo her mother from her life. That it was her decision to keep loving Lexa and supporting her without someone at her neck telling her that her fiancé was no good for her. It was Clarke. Not Lexa. Clarke had been very sure to wipe that all from Lexa’s mind, knowing that even if the smallest of slivers of guilt remained that she would start blaming herself once more. They got around it. Their lives continued without the dragging weight of an unsupportive family member. They became successful. They showed all those who doubted them that they succeeded in anything they did. Because they had each other. Because they supported one another. Because, in a world filled with dark corners and lurking shadows, they would always find their way. Together. Lexa sprung up from her spot on the bed, a strangled but quiet gasp slipping from her lips and into the darkness of the room. Elbows resting atop raised knees, Lexa threaded her fingers through her hair as she tried to slow the wild pace of her heart. It wasn’t a dream that she had experienced…but a memory. The exact memory that Clarke had shared with her not too long ago while they sat huddled together in the warm bubble bath.Her dream had followed the exact path that Clarke had so delicately explained. Stating each word that was uttered from both her and her mother like she had lived the memory over and over again. And yes, Lexa had felt that overwhelming guilt take her once more…the same guilt that she had felt during her memory.And once again Clarke driven away the guilt. Climbed into her lap and kissed away the horrid feeling until there was nothing left but the overlapping feeling of love. Whispered words of endearment drifted between the two, the water grown cold long ago as they became lost in one another. Something that seemed to happen more often than not.Lexa had finally ushered them both from the tub when she had spotted the goosebumps forming along Clarke’s arms. From there she carried Clarke to their bed and continued to let the blonde kiss away any lingering guilt…not that she was complaining.Clarke was right when she said the talk would be draining…but Lexa hadn’t realized how drained she was until that very moment. A soft sigh brushed through her lips before letting one hand drop down so she could rest her head fulling in the other and turn to gaze at Clarke. Thankfully her shooting from the bed hadn’t roused the woman who was currently cuddled deeply into the blankets, bare back to Lexa.A crooked smile formed across Lexa’s lips as she studied the smooth, pale skin of her wife’s back. From this angle the brunette wouldn’t believe Clarke if she said she was pregnant, the blankets doing justice in hiding the soft swell that rested underneath them. And in that moment Lexa knew that what she had felt in her memory would stay true. Memories restored or not she would always support and care for this woman beside her. Would do anything to see her succeed in life. To see her give birth to a beautiful baby…and she wouldn’t give it up for the world.A Woods never quits.And this Woods was damn well going to make sure that the blonde sleeping quietly next to her…would have the world…and Lexa herself.With a headache forming, most likely from the memory conjured in her sleep, and too tired to process any more thoughts Lexa shifted back down into the bed. Slender fingers found their respected home across Clarke’s belly, splaying out to try and touch as much of the surface as possible, while her nose nuzzled into the steady pulse under the skin of the blonde’s neck. One thought lingering in the back of her mind as she drifted off into a peaceful sleep…one filled with dreams of silky lips and blue eyes that pulled her into a trance. “I will support her decision. Whether she wants to work things out with her mother or not…I will always support Clarke in every decision she makes. No matter how much Abby dislikes me, we’ll work it out. For her…For us.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “So you’re telling me she just randomly showed up at your front door and demanded to see Clarke? Not even a ‘sorry to hear what happened you’?”Lexa shook her head quickly and muttered a ‘nope’ as she dodged a punch from Anya. Both were currently engaged in one of their weekly sparring sessions at a downtown gym not too far from Lexa’s office building. The blue mats shifted under their feet as they stepped forward to throw punches or deliver kicks while the other dodged and hoped to not get hit. Lexa was thankful for these weekly get togethers with her sister. It helped take the edge off the ever swirling emotions that were currently present in her head. And with Abby’s surprise arrival it was definitely a much needed distraction.“She was all but ready to push me out the way to get to Clarke. I didn’t want Abby around her when she was so angry so I told her she couldn’t see Clarke until she calmed down,” Lexa said through short pants as she dropped down a bit to try and deliver a punch to Anya’s gut.The older woman deflected the punch and delivered two of her own,“I’m guessing she didn’t take that very well, huh?”“Not one bit. Clarke wanted her to leave until she calmed down but she wasn’t having it. She found the newspaper with Costia and I on it and started going off. Of course, Clarke got mad. I had to hold her back so I could keep her away from Abby.”Anya smirked a bit before throwing her weight into Lexa and knocking her onto her back while she towered above her,“She’s still the same spit fire she’s always been. I remember when we all went out to a bar and she all but almost knocked out a guy for calling you a 'fucking dyke'. She’s protective of you no matter what’s happened between you.”Lexa covered the small smile that showed over her face by quickly knocking Anya’s legs from under her by swiping her left leg behind her foot. The older woman landed on the mat with a grunt and Lexa took that opportunity to hover above her and pin her sister’s hands down.“Looks like I win,” Lexa said with a smirk.“In your dreams, sis.”The brunette’s eyebrows scrunched in confusion only to feel Anya’s legs wrapped around her hips and quickly flip them over. She rolled her eyes as Anya pinned her own hands above her head and gave her a triumph filled smirk.“I never lose. Maybe next time.”Lexa chuckled a bit as Anya stood up and held a hand out to help her up. She gladly took it and let out a tired breath once she finally got back to her feet. She followed her sister over to a bench that held their bags and water bottles. Grabbing a towel and her water Lexa took a seat beside Anya.“So what happened after that?” Anya asked hesitantly.Lexa sighed as she recalled the events and slowly began to give a detailed explanation to her sister. She could see Anya’s hands clench as she mentioned Abby accusing her of causing harm to Clarke and the baby. How her eyes soften a bit as she listened to Lexa tell her about how Clarke defended her. The brunette even went so far as to go over her dream/memory that she had experienced the same night…the dream that she didn’t even wait five minutes after waking up the next morning to tell Clarke.“I’m glad you’re finally getting some more memories back. Even if they are shitty one’s like that,” Anya whispered.“They’re not shitty. Yes, they aren’t some of the best but…I really didn’t pay any attention to what happened with Abby. All I can seem to focus on when I think about it is how Clarke defended me, didn’t give up on me. And god, Anya, I can’t even begin to tell you how amazing it is to even remember just part of how I proposed to Clarke. I don’t remember the entire thing completely, most of the proposal is just blurs and colors…but I remember slipping that ring onto her finger. I remember that.”Lexa put down her water bottle and turned to find Anya staring at her, a rare soft smile etched into her features,“Good. I’m glad you aren’t letting Abby get to you and I’m glad you’re not letting what she said make you think less of yourself. What Abby said that night was completely wrong of her. She shouldn’t have put you down like that and I know I’m not one to talk because I haven’t exactly been the best sister as of late.”“I know, Anya. But you’re trying now, it’s okay. That’s all that matters.”“No, it’s not,” Anya sighed,“Look, we still have to talk about it some more but I don’t think now it the time. Not with all this mess with Abby. I think you need to get that settled first, okay?”Lexa stared straight ahead and nodded her head in agreement. They stayed like that for a bit until she felt Anya’s hand settle onto her shoulder.“For what it’s worth, she was wrong about you. You made Clarke stronger. You both made each other stronger. I know it hasn’t been the easiest few months of your life but I know that you and Clarke can get through this. You’re going to have your drawbacks, there’s no doubt in that…but you have each other. That’s what matters. As long as both of you are together I don’t think anything in the world can stop you both. And I’m really happy that you have someone like that in your life.”The brunette covered Anya’s with her own and gave her a warm smile,“Thanks, An.”The older woman’s hand squeezed her shoulder a bit before quickly removing it and standing back up,“Okay, enough mushy shit. Time for another round.”“Actually, I should be going,” Lexa said as she took a look at the clock on the wall across the room,“I’m meeting Clarke at her studio for lunch. Her next session should be just about done by time I get there.”“Fine. Go have a romantic lunch with your wife,” Anya said as she waved her off and took a sip of her water.“Speaking of wives…when are you going to pop the question to Raven?”The sound of Anya’s coughs filled the gym as she choke on her water. Lexa watched, amused, as her sister beat her hand against her chest and took in a few deep breathes. Once Anya was able to control her breathing she turned to fix Lexa with a glare.“Really? Did you think it was funny to just watch me choke?”Lexa, a wide smile on her face, simply nodded,“Yeah, kinda. Wasn’t the reaction I was expecting but still funny.”When Anya’s glare deepened it only caused Lexa to break out into a fit of laughter. As soon as she felt her laughter was dying out she felt a hand push against her shoulder causing her to tumble off the bench and onto the floor behind it. With a small groan Lexa looked up to see Anya hovering over her with a smug smirk.“That’s what you get for being a smartass. I’ll see you later.”Lexa stayed on the floor as she watched Anya pick up her bag and head for the exit. She shook her head once she could no longer see her sister and picked herself up. Situating herself back onto the bench Lexa pulled out her phone to send a quick text to Clarke. Lexa: Just got done at the gym with Anya. Getting a shower and picking up the food. Be over there soon. Lexa placed her phone down on the bench and began gathering her stuff. As she pulled out a towel and a pair of clean clothes, ready to take a shower in the gym locker room, her phone buzzed signaling an incoming text. Unlocking the phone, Lexa smiled softly when she saw a text from Clarke. Clarke: Awesome! I’m starving! I’m still working with this next client but I should be just about finished once you get here…oh, and don’t shower. I like it when you glisten with sweat. Makes your abs look incredible. ;) A rosy blush crept its way up Lexa’s neck and to her ears as she read the last part of Clarke’s text. It wasn’t the first time she had told her she liked to see her all sweat. The first time being when she stopped by the gym last week in the middle of her and Anya’s sparring session with a surprised lunch. Clarke had all but pulled her aside to a empty hallway and pushed her up against the wall, whispering about how good she looked with sweat all over her. Lexa chalked it up to being the pregnancy hormones. Yup, totally the pregnancy hormones. With orders from her wife to forego her shower, Lexa stuffed her towel and clothes back into her bag and zipped it up. Picking up the bag, she took one last look around to make sure she had everything before taking her leave. Once she reached her car she threw the bag into the back seat before climbing into the driver’s seat. Starting the car and buckling her seatbelt she grabbed her phone to send one last text to Clarke before backing out of the parking lot. Lexa: Anything for my lovely wife. Just don’t blame me when you lose all train of thought once you see this fine specimen that you married. Chuckling to herself, Lexa placed the phone onto the center console and began to back her car from its parking spot. As she drove towards the restaurant where she would be picking up her and Clarke’s lunch Lexa’s phone vibrated once more and she smiled knowing that it was a text from Clarke.It wasn’t until almost ten minutes later, when she finally parked her car in the restaurants parking lot, that she finally picked up the phone to read the text. Clarke: Just get your sweaty ass over here. Your child is craving pasta and it’s driving me insane. And maybe if you’re sweaty enough I’ll give you a special treat. ;) Eyebrows jumping with slight surprise, Lexa couldn’t stop her heart from beating wildly. Since they have been communicating more her and Clarke have seemed to almost fall into that honeymoon stage. Flirtatious texts, teasing, soft caresses under the table in public. It was like they couldn’t seem to keep away from each other. Lexa knew it was because Clarke was finally beginning to feel more comfortable around her. She knew that in the beginning she was scared to say a certain thing to her or get too close into her personal space..but after the night of the gallery opening they could barely keep their hands to themselves when they were together.And with Clarke’s pregnancy, her sex drive was nearly impossible to keep up with. With it being only a week since the night of the gallery opening, two days since Abby’s arrival, every night was spent tangled in their bed. Lips ghosting across heated skin, chests heaving with heavy breathes, legs intertwined…fingers moving against the most private of places. Not a night had gone by that she didn’t end up feeling Clarke’s lips brush against her’s in an almost desperate need. A desperate need to know that the woman under her was real, was here, with her and alive. Slowly remembering. Slowly becoming more aware of the love they shared.Lexa read over the text once more, her body beginning to heat up as her eyes skimmed over the words. She forced herself to stuff her phone back into her pocket as she made her way inside the Italian restaurant to pick up their to go order. Five minutes later and arms filled with two carry out containers Lexa made her way back to her car and began the drive to Clarke’s studio. And no, she did not turn on the heat to make herself even sweatier than she already was. She totally didn’t. Lexa could feel a bead of sweat roll down her spine as she opened the door of Clarke’s studio, arms carefully juggling the containers of food. Walking into the large building she took a brief look around before searching for Clarke. The walls were made of a deep brown brick, the high ceilings gave way to exposed beams, the floor a simple smooth concrete. The wall to her left housed three large portraits - a family of three laughing happily against a grey backdrop, a mesmerizing scene of a rainy Seattle street, and… What? Lexa walked closer to the last picture and squinted her eyes as if trying to make sure she was really seeing what was handing right in front of her. A picture of Lexa herself. She was sure of it. A deep grey backdrop rested behind her. Her body turned to the side, the only source of light in the picture behind her, highlighting the outline of her body. Even with the bare minimum light in the picture Lexa could still see the swirling lines of her tattoo on her upper bicep, the sharp curve of her jaw, the slender curve of her neck, the baby curls that were exposed due to the high messy bun she wore. And what caught her eye the most were the little speckles that surrounded her frame. You had to be close enough to see them but Lexa was sure she would spot them from miles away. To her they shone like stars…the same stars that had donned the picture at Clarke’s gallery. And Lexa wondered just how many pictures Clarke had laying around that included the special little details that meant so much to them.The portrait was so dull…yet so alive at the same time. From her posture, the lighting, and the barely there stars…everything called to Lexa. She could practically feel the emotions coming from the picture itself. The emotions that Clarke felt for her. This portrait hung in the most public place of her studio…it was so intimate yet…she knew only she could feel it. Only she could feel the intimate feeling of love that poured from the very image.A giggle brought her out of the little trance that she had quickly found herself in. Turing around Lexa spotted an open archway on the far right wall, a few flashes could be seen bouncing off the walls. As she made her way towards the archway she could hear the happy voice of Clarke and she wondered how she could have missed it when she walked in.After passing through the arch, Lexa caught sight of Clarke standing in front of a large back drop. A few lights surrounded the back drop, giving the perfect lighting for the photographer as she repeatedly pressed the shutter. Lexa smiled as she realized the source of the giggle came from a little boy giggling happily as he stood in front of Clarke, chest devoid of a shirt, only a pair of dark wash jeans on his little legs.“Over here Matthew! That’s it! Nice big smile!” Clarke laughed as she took a few pictures.The little boy quickly became distracted by Lexa’s sudden appearance, his curious face trying to peak over Clarke’s shoulder. Lexa’s eyes darted over to a man sitting in a chair against the wall to her left and gave him a kind, apologetic smile, realizing that it was the boy’s father.“What’s suddenly got all your attention buddy?” She could hear Clarke say.The man stood up as he gave her a returning smile,“I think you have a visitor, Clarke.”Lexa suddenly bristled at the way the man so casually used her wife’s name. She never thought just someone she didn’t know saying Clarke’s name could cause a spark of jealousy to rise in her chest. And it didn’t help that she knew that Clarke was basically alone with said person for a unknown amount of time. Emerald eyes hardened before they turned to look back at Clarke. The blonde quickly picked up the little boy before turning around and meeting Lexa’s gaze with a bright smile.“Hey, Lex! I didn’t expect you for at least another ten minutes. Guess you were in a hurry, huh?”She could hear the slight teasing in Clarke’s voice but that still didn't quell her emotions. She didn’t know why she was suddenly feeling so jealous, and maybe a little angry, about the man simply calling Clarke by her first name. She couldn’t begin to explain where it was all coming from. Lexa knew that it was stupid of her to think that there may be something between Clarke and the man…but there was something in the back of her mind that she couldn’t control. That little green blob called jealousy.Lexa quickly snapped out her thoughts as Clarke began walking towards the man,“Uh, yeah. Traffic wasn’t that bad and our food was ready before I even got there.”“Awesome. Well, just let me finish up with Caleb and Matthew here and I’ll be ready to close up for lunch.”Lexa nodded dumbly as she watched Clarke hand Matthew back to the man -Caleb- and motion for them to follow her. She blushed a bit when Clarke gave her a quick wink before disappearing past her…only to steel herself when Caleb gave her another small smile. Not wanting to come off as rude she responded with her own tight lipped smile before turning to watch them disappear through the archway she had entered through moments ago.Deciding she would rather wait in one of the many chairs in the main part of the building Lexa made her way out of the studio room. After taking a seat on one of the chairs she noticed an open door that she hadn’t spotted when she first walked in. Leaning forward a little she could just barely see a long desk, Clarke sitting right behind it and Caleb and Matthew looking over her shoulder as she pointed to something on the computer that sat on her desk.She could feel her skin simmering as Caleb happily placed a hand to Clarke’s shoulder, a overly large grin spreading across his face at whatever he was looking at. This was not the same kind of anger or possessiveness that Lexa had felt when Abby showed up at their door. No, this was the anger that she felt when someone was encroaching on what was her’s. Yes, Lexa got a bit possessive of Clarke with Abby, but she didn’t have to worry about the older woman stealing Clarke’s love. She didn’t have to worry about her stealing her affections and using them as their own.But she sat silently, eyes still trained on the two adults and toddler huddled at Clarke’s desk, and patiently waited until they were done. About fifteen minutes had passed before Clarke was finally leading her two clients out of her office and towards the front door. Before they walked out Clarke gave Caleb a quick hug and tickled Matthews now clothed belly, spurring a laugh from the little boy. She waved them goodbye as they disappeared out the door and down the busy Seattle sidewalk. Lexa stood from her seat as Clarke locked the door to her studio and flipped over the sign to now say ‘Closed’.“I’m sorry. That took a little longer than I thought. Matthew just takes the cutest little photos and Caleb can never decide which ones he likes best,” Clarke explained as she made her way over to Lexa.The brunette stayed silent as Clarke greeted her with a quick kiss to the cheek and grabbing one of the food containers from her hands. She followed closely behind as the blonde walked back into her office, oblivious to the silence that lingered with Lexa. Before taking at her desk, Clarke quickly pulled a chair from the corner of the decent sized room and placed it next to hers. She patted the empty surface, silently offering for Lexa to sit down next to her. Having nowhere else to sit the brunette silently made her way over the the chair and took a seat.Clarke couldn’t have been lying when she said she was starving. She nearly inhaled the food when she finally got the container open, only stopping to let out a few choice moans at the flavor. Lexa, on the other hand, sat back in her chair and moved her food around on her plate, barley taking three bites. And, once she was done eating, Clarke immediately noticed.“Lexa, what’s wrong? You’ve barely said anything since you got here and you haven’t touched your food,” Clarke said worriedly.Lexa huffed, her anger rising as she remembered the way Caleb’s hand so familiarly sat against Clarke’s shoulder,“Nothing. Just not hungry, I guess.”Not taking that as an answer, Clarke quickly removed the fork from Lexa’s hand and pushed her food away before moving to sit on her lap. Lexa’s hands instantly found purchase on the blonde’s hips, scared that one day she would tumble off, and held her tightly against her. Warm fingers tangled in her hair and rubbed gently against her scalp causing a slight moan to involuntarily rising from her throat. She could feel Clarke's nose move against her temple, brushing against the almost dry sweat that still lingered there.“I know something’s wrong. It wasn’t that text was it? Did it make you uncomfortable?” Clarke whispered.Lexa shook her head, hands tightening their grip a bit,“No. No, it’s not that. It’s just..”“Just what, Lex?” Clarke asked as she sat back to get a better look at Lexa’s face,“What else could it be? Everything seemed okay over the phone before you got here.”The brunette sighed deeply knowing there was no way for her to get around this conversation.“Who was that guy?” Lexa asked hotly, her anger spiking once more.“Who? Caleb? He’s a regular client. He comes in a quiet a bit over the year,” Clarke explained.Lexa scoffed,“Of course he does.”“Lexa…,” Clarke started as she raised a single eyebrow,“Are you jealous of Caleb?”The brunette grumbled a bit before glancing up at the blonde through dark lashes,“He used your first name like he’s known you for years. He touched your shoulder. That’s like the one place that everyone touches when they’re trying to come on to you! It starts out with a simple shoulder touch and then…BAM they’re hands are suddenly everywhere they shouldn’t be. And his son was right there! In his arms! While he so casually touched you!”Once her little rant was over Lexa fully lifted her head so she could accurately gauge Clarke’s reaction. What she didn’t expect was to see her wife smiling in amusement, teeth biting down onto her bottom lip to keep a laugh from slipping out.“You think it’s funny?”“Yes, and I’m sure Caleb’s husband is going to find it even funnier,” Clarke said before finally letting her laughs escape her.Lexa stuttered, the retort that she was ready to fire back dying on her lips. Clarke’s laughter only grew when she caught the fish out of water look that consumed her wife’s features. The brunette could feel the blush rising to her cheeks as she realized that she had misjudged the situation before even letting Clarke explain it.“God, you should see your face! It’s priceless!” Clarke giggled, her eyes watering from the intensity.Her blush was quickly replaced with a glare as she watched Clarke continue to laugh,“Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up. Not like I knew he was married to a guy.”“Not my fault you didn’t see the wedding ring on his finger,” The blonde was able to say as her laughs began to subside.Lexa snorted,“Like marriage stops some men from making a move on beautiful woman.”“You think I’m beautiful?” Clarke whispered with a small smile.“Of course. The most beautiful woman in the world,” Lexa said as she nuzzled her nose into Clarke’s neck.“Flattery isn’t going to make me forget this one, Lex,” Clarke commented as she pushed her away,“Now, tell me what was running through that pretty little mind of your’s while you waited.”Lexa sighed before beginning to explain the overwhelming emotions that had churned through her body while watching her wife interact with Caleb. The blonde listened intently, her fingers absentmindedly playing with a few strands of Lexa’s hair as she talked.“I just…I know I shouldn’t be the one getting jealous of you getting attention from other suitors. I mean after what I did with Costia I think I deserve to feel a litt—,” Clarke quickly covered Lexa’s mouth with her hand, successfully cutting her off.“Don’t you dare finish that sentence. It is completely normal for you to get jealous if you don’t like how close someone gets to me. This has nothing do to with what happened between you and Costia. That’s a completely other story,” Clarke said before lowering her hand away from Lexa’s mouth,“Lexa, I don’t want you to feel guilty for having completely normal emotions that every married person would feel. What I want is for you to know that you can always talk to me about anything that makes you uncomfortable or unsettles you. That’s what were trying to work towards, remember? Better communication. If you didn’t like the way Caleb touched me then tell me and I’ll be sure to make it very clear to him that he should refrain from doing so. Okay?”Lexa nodded slowly, her brain processing everything her wife had just said,“You’re right. I should have just talked to you about it first before going on like that. I judged before I knew the full story and I know I shouldn’t have done that.”“It’s okay, Lex. You’re not the only one who’s done that,” Clarke whispered, silently recalling that day in her office,“It’s something both of us need to work on, and we can do that together, okay?”The brunette nodded and once again pulled Clarke closer to her so she could bury her nose into the crook of her neck. She took in a deep breath, the sweet sent of Clarke filling her nose and calming her racing emotions. They stayed like that for a few moments before she felt Clarke’s hands pushing against her shoulders. As she leaned back a pair of soft lips caught her’s for the briefest of moments before pulling away.“As much as I would love to just sit here with you all day, I have two more clients coming in before I officially close today. And we still need to talk about one more thing before you leave,” Clarke said as she stood from her desk and walked towards a filing cabinet on the far left wall.Lexa leaned against Clarke’s desk, her hand picking up the blonde’s camera and turning it on before playing with it a bit,“Oh? And what is it we need to talk about?”Her wife rummaged around in the cabinet for a moment before producing a bulging folder and placing it on to of the cabinet. Lexa lifted the camera and angled it towards Clarke as she raised a hand to rub her growing belly, completely oblivious to the camera pointed in her direction. Lexa pressed the near silent shutter, capturing the perfect picture before Clarke turned back towards her. Clarke raised an eyebrow at her wife before moving back over to her and stealing the camera from her hand.“Who’s supposed to be the photographer here?” Clarke said as she placed the camera back onto her desk and giving Lexa a small smirk.The brunette only rolled her eyes as she pulled Clarke against her,“I think I’d make a pretty good part-time photographer. What do you say? Hire me?”Clarke playfully smacked at her chest causing Lexa to chuckle deeply.“I guess I’ll stick with running my own company then. Now, you said we needed to talk about something before I leave.”All playfulness left Clarke’s features as she slumped against Lexa,“I know I probably shouldn’t but…I want to try and work things out with my mom. For the sake of the baby at least. I don’t want to keep Little Bean away from his only grandparent, even if she hasn’t been the best person in our lives.”“I understand, Clarke. I…want to try to. I want to work things out between Abby and I. I don’t want there to be a rift between both of you anymore. I want you to have a relationship like every mother and daughter should have. And despite the things she may have said about me back then, and I know none of it was ever true, I do want her to be apart of Little Bean’s life, too,” Lexa said as she brushed back a few locks of golden hair.Clarke smiled softly, her ocean blue orbs searching Lexa’s face with wonder,“How lucky was I to find someone like you? Most people would probably just scoff at the idea and walk away. But not you. You don’t care what she thinks of you and even if she treats you like shit you still want her to be apart of our child’s life because you know that’s what’s best for him. God…where did you come from Lexa Woods?”Overwhelmed by the few simple words her wife had spoken, Lexa chose not to respond. Instead, she just pulled Clarke closer to her, a hand rising to rub across her growing tummy, and pressed a tender kiss to her forehead. They still had a while to go with some things but it seemed like every obstacle that the came across, they were able to get through it. And Lexa knew that as long as she had Clarke by her side she would be able to get past any obstacle that life threw in their way.Even if that obstacle was in the form of one, Abby Griffin. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Clarke fidgeted with with her shirt nervously, her blue eyes scanning the crowded restaurant. After another day of putting it off Clarke had finally upped her nerves enough to call her mother and tell her they were ready to talk. Lexa had clung to her hand the entire phone call knowing that the blonde was still slightly angry…but she knew deep down that she was nervous as well. The thought of actually trying to work things out with Abby had sent her more than once to lose the contents of her stomach into the toilet.If she was being honest, Clarke wasn’t sure why she was nervous. Why her nerves outweighed the anger. Maybe it was because, deep inside, she was afraid of once again losing her mother if things went downhill again. She wasn’t sure if she could take that again. Or maybe it was the thought of putting Lexa through that again…she didn’t want her wife to have to experience any of what had occurred with Abby ever, let alone twice.Clarke’s stomach flipped when she spotted a light haired brunette strutting towards their table, only for it to flop back into place when she realized it wasn’t Abby. A deep sigh billowed from her lips as she tried to calm the swirling nerves in her belly…but to no avail. Just when she thought she would need to bolt to the restroom a warm hand was placed over her belly while another loosened the grip that was attached to her pants. Blue eyes darted up to meet soothing green, Lexa’s face etched with slight worry.“Everything’s going to be fine, Clarke,” Lexa said lowly,“But if you’re still not ready we can leave. We can call Abby and tell her we need more time.”She wondered if Lexa used ‘we’ instead of ‘you’ for Clarke’s benefit or her own. But she was glad for it. It meant they were doing this together.Clarke shook her head, determined,“No, I’m fine. Just a little queasy. Nothing to it. I -we- need to do this. The sooner the better.”The brunette’s eyes scanned over Clarke as she pursed her lips,“Are you sure? You don’t have to push yourself to do this if you aren’t ready, and I don’t want you adding any unnecessary stress to you or the baby.”“I’m okay, Lexa. I just need to take some deep breathes and clear my head. My nerves will only grow the more we put this off. No matter what idiotic things my mother has said or done I want to put it behind us and start fresh…even if it’ll take a bit to push the anger away,” Clarke’s hand tightened around Lexa’s,“Are you ready for this?”“I’m ready if you are,” Lexa said seriously with a curt nod,“Just as you said, it’s going to take some time to look past the things she’s said and done but it’ll do nobody any good if our family is divided.”Clarke nodded, silently agreeing with her wife’s words. Her gaze fell down to stare at Lexa’s hand that still rested on her belly, her thoughts drifting back to the night that she had all but lost her mother, a soft anger bubbling in her chest along with a hint of sadness. Warm fingers cupped her chin and slowly lifted it to meet a vast green forrest.“Whatever happens here today…it doesn’t mean that we have to suddenly be all cheery and close with Abby. This is just us telling her we’re willing to try and work things out, for the baby. It’s going to be a little hard, there’s no telling if you or I can work past what happened, but the least we can do is try,” Lexa breathed out as she searched nervous blue eyes.The younger woman could only muster a simple nod at her wife’s words. Clarke didn’t expect for her overwhelming anger that she had felt for her mother for so many years to be replaced by so many other emotions.Nervousness.Anxiousness.Fear. …So many emotions. And those emotions came to a screeching halt as a flicker of light brown caught in her peripheral. Blue orbs, now devoid of any emotion, broke away from Lexa to take in the form that was Abby Griffin. Her mother was striking in a simple outfit of fitted pants and a light sweater, jacket draped over her arm likely for the chilly November air that blew through the city. She was the picture of sophistication…yet Clarke could see right through her mother.The way her shoulders were set back with tension, her fingers tightly clenched into fists, her eyes ghosting across their features before drifting down to the ground below her feet as she walked. All in all, Clarke knew her mother was nervous. Maybe even a little scared. And that had Clarke’s chest easing up, but only a bit…at least until her mother finally reached their table.Lexa stood up, almost too formally, and shook hands with Abby,“It’s nice to see you again, Abby.”“Likewise, Lexa,” Abby said thickly before letting her eyes move over to Clarke who was still seated in her chair,“Clarke…how are you?”“I’m doing fine,” Clarke said curtly.She could feel Lexa’s eyes on her as the words flowed from her mouth. Clarke knew that she said she wanted to put everything behind her but she couldn’t stop the rush of hostile emotions that flared up when her mother spoke. Just because she was ready to work things out didn’t mean she wasn’t still a tad bit upset.While her gaze was still fixated on Abby, Clarke watched as her mother locked eyes with her wife before giving her a short nod and taking her seat. She felt Lexa’s hand brush against her back in a soothing gesture as she settled back into her own seat. Not once, in the short awkward silence that settled around the table, did Clarke’s eyes leave her mother. She couldn’t lie and say that she didn’t think that Abby would return to her old arguments the minute they started their discussion and, even though she didn’t let it show, it left a small chip of pain in her heart.The cluster of emotions that had been invading her since she woke up came back with a vengeance. First nervousness, then sadness, a little panic, and last but not least, anger. Somewhere in the back of her mind she tried to chalk it up to her pregnancy just messing with her hormones but she knew that wasn’t the entire reason she was feeling this way. But all the emotions just elevated one in particular.Fear.Everything came back to fear.Fear of possibly losing her mother once more if things went bad.Fear of making Lexa experience her mother’s pathetic excuses again while in such a vulnerable state. Everything was fear. Clarke hadn’t even noticed that their waiter had appeared to take their orders and had to be nudged softly by Lexa when the young man asked what she would like. Once the waiter left with the choice of food their table was one more left in a state of awkwardness. Beside her Lexa sipped on a glass of wine, Clarke agreeing with her that the brunette might need at least one glass to get her through the lunch, while Abby sat back in her chair simply studying the two women before her.“So…,” Lexa drawled out awkwardly,“Um, how’s your day been so far, Abby?”And Clarke couldn’t repress the chuckle that passed through her lips at her wife’s horrible way of trying to start their conversation…and what surprised her was the almost twin sound that came from Abby. The blonde’s giggle cut short as she met her mother’s slight smile, a bit taken back that she had even reacted to Lexa’s question.“So far my day’s been pretty…uneventful, but I’m sure that’s going to change here soon,” Abby’s eyes darted between the couple.From the corner of her eye, Clarke could see Lexa’s head turn slightly to stare at her and the blonde knew that her wife had no clue how to respond. And neither did Clarke. Was she just supposed to bring everything to the forefront. Completely skip over any type of discussion and just to demand to know why Abby really didn’t want Clarke to marry Lexa? Because in Clarke’s mind that was the only way to do it. She just wanted to know why. Why her mother didn’t want her and Lexa together. Why she didn’t want her daughter to be with the person that made her happy. So she asked. “What was the real reason that you didn’t want me marrying Lexa?”A small intake of breath came from Lexa and Abby’s eyes widened at the unexpected question. The noises of the restaurant suddenly died out around them. They were thrown into their own little mix of swirling emotions and awkward stares. No one said anything for the next few minutes, simply letting the tension rise between them in an uncomfortable manner. Clarke could see Lexa pick up her glass and take a helping sip, and she silently wished that she too could have a drink but figured her wife would make up for both of them by time their lunch was over.“Well?” Clarke said as she leaned forward in her chair, hand reaching for her glass of water,“We came here to talk things over. So why not get straight to the point?”She could feel Lexa’s eyes boring into the side of her head as she took a sip from her water, her own eyes gazing over the sparkling glass to stare at her mother. Abby’s head dropped down a bit as she fumbled with her hands that rested in her lap. Clarke could tell that her words had stirred something up in her mother. Abby wasn’t one to fidget, always looking poised and regal, but now she squirmed in her seat under Clarke’s gaze.“I…It’s complicated,” Abby whispered.“Then explain. We’ve got until three o’clock and then we have to leave. That gives you a good three hours to make things less complicated.”Lexa’s hand found rested on her thigh under the table and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Clarke darted her eyes over to her wife, giving her a swift nod before turning back to her mother. Abby was now watching the silent exchange between the two, her lips in a grim line. Clarke wasn’t sure what had come over her. Going from one emotion to another was starting to make her head swim but one thing was very clear in her mind. She wasn’t leaving this table until she got a straight answer from Abby, even if she had to force it out of her.“Explain to us why you didn’t want me marrying Lexa, and don’t give me the ‘you’ll be pulled into her debt’ bull. I want the real reason. Once you’ve explained everything then we’ll start talking about you being in our baby’s life,” Clarke said as her hand found Lexa’s and gripped it tightly for security.Abby looked around the restaurant a bit before settling back onto Clarke, eyes shimmering,“After your father passed away…you were all I had left, Clarke. For all the years after his death you were always next to me. You were growing up to be such a beautiful woman. Then you met Lexa.”Clarke looked over to said brunette when she felt her hand stiffen in her’s.“Even though I didn’t see you as much as I used to after you left for college, I saw you even less when you began hanging out with her. Your weekends that you would spend at home soon became weekends spent with Lexa. Even a few holidays you spent with her. I…I felt like I was losing you, Clarke. Like you were slipping through my fingers just like your father did,” Abby said quietly as she stared down at her hands.The blonde pushed back her tears,“What about Wells? Why did you want me to marry him so bad?”Abby huffed sadly,“That was a last resort. I thought since if you married Wells then I would see more of you. You know he lives around the block from me and works at the towns best law firm. I just…I thought that if you married him I would see you more. Before your graduation you were talking about moving to Seattle with Lexa and that’s when I really started to realize that I was really losing you.”Clarke watched her mother closely. Abby’s reasonings for her not wanting her daughter to marry Lexa were indeed petty…but they were the truth. She could see it in her body language. The way her shoulders were hunched. How her eyes were slightly dull. Her hands wringing together in her lap. Abby was scared to lose her and did everything she could to keep her close, but only lost her in the end anyway.“Mom…you could have talked to me about this,” Clarke stressed,“It wasn’t like I was just going to abandon you and never talk to you again after I married Lexa. I know that I wasn’t speaking to you as much as I used to when I first started college but that was because Lexa and I were developing our bond. After things settled I’m more than positive that I would have talked and visited you more. And I’m sure if you would have at least asked, Lexa wouldn’t have had a problem with just you and I just having a few weekends to ourselves.”Abby met Lexa’s gaze across the table before darting back to Clarke’s.“You shouldn’t have just assumed that after I married Lexa that I wouldn’t have ever talked to you again. You’re my mother. I would have understood how you felt if you just would have told me instead of making up pathetic excuses like that. Your using Lexa’s debt as a reason was beyond low and something I never expected of you,” Clarke stated, barely holding back tears,“And it hurt me when you said you wouldn’t give her your blessing to marry me just for that pathetic reason.”“I realized my mistakes the day I showed up at your front door,” Abby muttered as she wiped away a stray tear from her cheek,“I saw the way Lexa stood up for you, protected you from me even though I wouldn’t hurt you…how she caressed your belly like your father used to do to me before you were born. I was too blind by my selfishness to realize just how good Lexa was for you. She’s makes you smile brighter, almost brighter than before your father’s death. Your eyes dance when she’s talking to you. She’s gentle with you like she’s afraid to break you. All those things I was able to notice in the ten minutes I was at your front door and I was too blind to see them all those years ago. The way you both are around each other…it’s how Jake and I were together.”And Clarke’s tears began to fall. She had to quickly shoo them away when the waiter arrived with their food. Silence passed between them as the young man place their respected dishes in front of them before making a hasty retreat as if sensing the tension around them. None of them moved to touch their food, much to enwrapped in their conversation to be hungry at the moment.“I’ve been sitting in my hotel room beating myself up because I finally realized that I was trying to keep you away from the best thing that’s ever happened to you. All because I was too stupid and thought that I would lose you for good if you married Lexa. It was a ridiculous reason and I don’t even know why I used that as my excuse…I guess it just seemed like the best one at the time,” Abby said, her gaze shifting between Lexa and Clarke,“I don’t expect you to forgive me right away, but I just want you both to know that I’m sorry. That I was stupid and selfish and was only thinking of myself. I don’t really know what was running through my mind then.”Clarke was ready to respond…but Lexa beat her to it. She watched as her wife’s hand reached across the table to settle on Abby’s hand that now sat on top the table. Shocked eyes jumped up to clash with shimmering green.“It’s okay, Abby. You were scared of losing Clarke. Even though I would never intentionally keep you from seeing her I can understand that your mind was just running on instinct. A mother’s first instinct is to keep her child close and not let anyone else near, and that can heighten when they lose someone very close to them,” Lexa said calmly,“And while it wasn’t the best decision to make I know that you only did it because you thought you were losing Clarke just like you lost Jake. From the very beginning I was able to tell how strong of a bond you and Clarke shared. I know that Clarke and I talking about moving to Seattle only made you even more scared…but you could have talked to us. You could have expressed how you felt without having to go to the unnecessary lengths and lies. Did you honestly believe that I would take you from her completely?”Clarke watched her mother process Lexa’s words. Her heart stuttered in her chest when Abby slowly shook her head.“No, I didn’t. In the back of my mind I knew that I wan’t going to lose Clarke completely to you but the selfish part of my brain outweighed the sensible part of it. Honestly, I think I was just taking it out on you because you were just…there. You were the one that was always there when those selfish feelings rose to the surface and they just turned their attention on you,” Abby said before locking eyes with Lexa,“I can’t say how sorry I am. I know I made you feel like you were the reason that Clarke and I went our separate ways and I’m sick with myself for doing that. I just hope somewhere down the road that you can forgive me for it all even though I probably don’t deserve it.”Lexa turned to Clarke and gave her a hopeful look. The brunette had basically taken the words straight from Clarke’s mouth. There were still some things that needed to be worked through a bit but for now…for now they were going to be okay. It would take some time for things to be normal but they could finally start working towards mending their relationships. And Clarke was finally feeling all the emotions rushing out her body, replaced with content and happiness. Her anger still simmered a bit in the back of her brain but she pushed that aside for right now. She knew that wouldn’t go away for a bit and decided right now wasn’t the time to deal with it.Right now she just wanted a decent lunch with her wife and mother.One that was spent talking, laughing, and her mother’s infamous horrible jokes.For the next hour and half, they slowly made their way through their lunch. It was a bit awkward at first, trying to find a simple topic for them to discuss, but they finally settled on talking about the baby. Abby was enthused to listen about the baby growing in her daughter’s belly and Lexa was more than happy to tell her everything. And Clarke was simply happy to sit back and watch.It was strange to see her mother and her wife talking so…easily with each other. Before their conversations would be nothing but curt answers and stiff eyes, but now they both smiled brightly, eyes dancing merrily as they talked about the baby. Clarke realized just how much she missed her mother. Her anger through the years had kept her from truly realizing just how much she missed Abby being a constant in her life. She was practically the only family that she had left, besides Lexa of course, and, as her anger slowly dimmed, she felt how much she missed her.And now, watching the two most important people in her life finally laugh together, Clarke knew just what lengths she would go to to make sure this stayed a reality forever. This was how she saw everything in the split moment that Lexa asked her to marry her. She pictured her mother pulling Lexa happily into a hug, welcoming her into the family, tears sliding down her cheeks as she lead Clarke down the aisle in place of her father. And though none of that happened, she was at least happy that at some point in her life she was able to see them finally share a bonding moment. One that wasn’t obscured by false judgments and lies. One that was real. And Clarke felt the need to ask her mother one question. A question that she didn’t think she would be asking her mother until they talked a bit more…but she couldn’t help herself.“Mom? How would you like to see your grandchild?”Abby’s eyes tore away from Lexa and settled on her daughter, slightly shocked,“What do you mean?”Before Clarke could respond Lexa’s caught her attention,“Clarke, you’re sure?”“Yeah, I want her there,” Clarke responded before turning back to her mother,“I have a doctor’s appointment today. They’re going to be doing an ultrasound. I’d like it if you came with us. If you want to.”A large smile cross over Abby’s features, her eyes welling with unshed tears,“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”Both women were up and out of their seats before another word could be said. Clarke sighed in relief as her mother’s arms wrapped carefully around her, being mindful of tightly she squeezed her. She didn’t care how they looked to the people around them, faces covered in tears and noses sniffling lightly. In that moment she only cared about how it felt to be back in her mother’s arms…and it felt as if she never left. Her arms still felt like the one’s that would wrap around her when she was a little girl, fighting off the nightmares that plagued her five-year-old mind.It felt like home. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Abby, on the inside, was the perfect picture of excited. Her mind screaming and clapping happily as she waited to see her first grandchild via ultrasound. She had been more than shocked when Clarke asked her if she wanted to join them. Yet her mind debated. Was it right for her to intrude on such a moment after the way that she had treated both Clarke and Lexa? After she just walked out of their lives for what she realized was such a petty reason?But her mind had pushed the thoughts away instantly, not wanting to miss the opportunity at hand. Abby had been itching to see her daughter, in person, as soon as she saw the newspaper. When she saw the small swell of Clarke’s belly and the word ‘pregnant’ plastered along in the headline she knew that nothing was going to stop her from seeing her daughter. Abby knew there was a great chance that Clarke wanted nothing to do with her at all…but it seemed her petty mind thought that Lexa’s betrayal would have the blonde running back into her arms. Telling her how she should have listened to her in the first place.But how wrong she was.Clarke absolutely clung to her wife. Nuzzled up to her side, fingers interlaced, whispering quietly to one another as they made their way into the doctor’s office. Abby thought that maybe her daughter would at least talk to her a bit more since inviting her to the appointment but the rest of their meal and the car ride here had been a lot more quiet than she anticipated. Surprisingly Lexa was the one that spurred most of the conversation. More than likely noting the tension that still lingered in the air between the mother and daughter. But she didn’t mind too much, not as long as she was at least in Clarke’s presence, and now accompanying her to an ultrasound to see her grandchild.Silence, a little more comfortable this time, still flowed between them as they secured a few seats in the waiting room. Abby watched as Lexa walked up to the desk and ran through the check-in process for her daughter. She watched the way the brunette quickly filled out any necessary information on the form before thanking the receptionist and walking back towards them. Abby couldn’t say she wasn’t shocked that Lexa filled the information out so quickly and easily, not even hesitating on any line…especially with her memory loss. Obviously she’s come to almost every one of Clarke’s appointments…enough of them that she remembered every little bit of information that needed to be filled out.Abby’s mind wondered in the silence. Her mind running through every thought in a matter of seconds. She had been wrong about Lexa. About everything. Trying to keep Clarke away from her had to have been the stupidest thing she’d ever done. Just from the little time they’ve been together, she could tell that even with memory loss, Lexa would always care and love Clarke. There was no doubt in that…and now she could finally see it. Realized it in the somewhat fifteen minute drive to the doctor’s office.It was the little things. Lexa helping Clarke from her seat as they stood to leave. Holding the door open, not just for Clarke, but both of them. Helping her daughter into the car even though she insisted she didn’t need any but only ending up lightly giggling as the brunette closed her door. Lexa reaching across the center console, grabbing Clarke’s hand, and pulling it up to kiss the soft skin of her knuckles. The light laughs they shared as they talked about anything and everything. And one thing that stood out to Abby the most…the way Lexa’s hand drifted over to graze the side of Clarke’s growing belly, the blonde’s own hand following close behind as her wife began tracing random patterns along it.Abby remembered being the same way with Jake. Feeling helplessly in love and praying that no one ever took it away from her. She saw the love that she felt for her husband reflected in her own daughter’s eyes. And it almost made her physically sick to think that she was selfish enough to try to take that away from her. Felt horrible for not being able to see just how much the woman sitting next to her made her daughter feel. She realized then and there just how much she had to make up to Clarke. Weeks, months…realizing just how strong Clarke felt for Lexa, maybe even years.But it wasn’t just Clarke who she had to make it up to. It was also Lexa. She judged the woman much too early. Gave an opinion on her that had been completely wrong from the start. Doubted that she could take care of her daughter when she obviously could. Part of her petty mind wanted to say that Lexa only worked as hard as she did just so she would be able to shove it in Abby’s face in a few years time but she knew that wasn’t true. Abby knew that everything that Lexa did was for her family. Was for Clarke and their unborn child. Lexa wasn’t a petty person…not like Abby had been.“Mrs. Woods?”The sound of the nurse and Lexa standing to help Clarke from her seat had Abby shaking her head to clear it of the little world that she had become lost in. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed but by judging how empty the waiting room was now it had to have been a good fifteen minutes. She follows behind the couple silently, waited off to the side as Lexa helped Clarke remove her shoes so the nurse could record her weight, and continued to follow silently as the nurse lead them to a room. Her eyes trailed over Clarke’s back, arms wrapped around Lexa’s arm as she leaned her head against her shoulder, more than likely tired.She was a bit startled when her eyes moved a little higher and were caught by an all too familiar blue. Ones that were twins to her late husbands. Clarke gazed at her for a second before giving her the tiniest of smiles and turning her head back to it’s previous position on Lexa’s shoulder. Abby’s heart warmed a bit as Lexa placed a kiss to the top of her daughter’s head, whispering something in her ear that caused Clarke to nod her head.“This your exam room,” the nurse said as she pushed open the door and allowed the three to walk in,“Mrs. Woods, if you’ll just remove your clothes and put on this gown, the doctor will be in shortly after.”The woman handed a paper gown over to the blonde before quietly taking her leave. Abby stood awkwardly in the corner of the room as Clarke threw a look in her direction. She watched, surprised, as Lexa began helping Clarke from her clothes and into the gown. Abby knew her daughter wasn’t normally one to be shy about her body. She proved that the moment she started running around their backyard naked when she was five. In front of a group of her mother’s female co-workers at brunch. But she couldn’t see how Clarke was still comfortable with Lexa seeing her, let alone touch her, after everything that had happened between them.Granted, she didn’t know the full story, Abby knew that something big had happened between them. Judging by the headline in the newspaper and her own reaction, she knew that her daughter’s own reaction couldn’t have been too far off from her own. Mother like daughter, of course. That was one thing that Abby knew Clarke inherited from her. Her anger and ability to hold a grudge.But this…this was different. She expected Clarke to want Lexa no where near her body as she changed. She remembered one of Clarke’s old flings back in her high school years that had cheated on her. Her daughter wanted no part of him, didn’t even want to be in the same school as him. So, she imagined that either Lexa was some sort of miracle worker or there was more to the story than the newspaper let on. Of course, she held a lack of belief in miracles so she went with option number two. Newspapers weren’t always the best source of information. Abby wished she could have gotten that threw her head before storming into her daughter’s home like she did earlier that week.“How are you both so at ease with each other?”The words blurted from her mouth before Abby had any chance to stop them. Lexa had just helped Clarke up onto the table, their hands holding onto each other, and both turned to look at her. Clarke eyed her for a moment before looking down at their hands. She brushed her thumbs over Lexa’s knuckles for a moment before looking back at her mother.“Lexa and I still have a lot to work on, things we still need to talk about, but we both agreed that we would try to keep things light and happy at least until the baby is born.”“Even though I’ve been the cause of some of it I don’t want Clarke under anymore stress than she’s been. Especially after the appendix incident,” Lexa said seriously.“Appendix incident?”Abby watched as Clarke looked up at a sheepish Lexa before turning back to her,“The day I found out about the, uh, newspaper…a lot happened. I was home packing a bag when I kind of just…burst. I threw a picture frame across our room and then I felt nauseous. I ran to the bathroom, thinking it must have just been the stress, but then there was a harsh pain in my stomach on the right side. I…I thought it was the baby. I thought I lost it. I woke up in the hospital later that day after the surgery. There weren’t any complications, the doctors just wanted me to rest for a bit. I, uh, I decided it would be best to stay by myself for a few days where I could just think about what was best for me and the baby.”“And I understood that it was her decision to decide what was best for her and the baby then,” Lexa cut in before Abby could respond,“Though I may have spied a bit through our friends about how she was doing. I couldn’t sit back and not try and find out about her condition after the surgery and everything that happened. I went crazy until we all finally sat down and talked a few things out.”Clarke picked up from there,“After our talk and everyone left Lexa and I had our own private talk. Things that really don’t need to be discussed right now…but a few days after that we had a small fight which we were able to calm down from enough to talk it out. We thought it would be best if we just stayed as happy as possible as to not stress the baby. Little Bean comes first right now. It may not be ideal to just push everything down and pretend like it’s all fine and dandy but it’s what’s best for him. He comes first.”“Him?” That was the only thing that Abby held onto as everything hit her.Lexa scoffed,“Don’t listen to her. We don’t know the gender yet and Clarke keeps changing her mind every two seconds about what she thinks the gender is.”“I do not,” Clarke huffed as she rubbed her belly,“It’s like every two days. At least I don’t fight over it like you and Anya do. You get so upset when she says it’s going to be a boy.”Abby couldn’t stop the small that tugged at the corner of her lips as Lexa lightly flicked the tip of the blonde’s nose before muttering a ‘yeah, yeah’. She remembered her and Jake were just like how Lexa and Clarke were now. Much like her daughter, Abby traded between genders almost every week, never settling on one her entire pregnancy. And Jake was completely convinced that it was a boy, bragging to his friends about how he would be bringing his little boy to the ball park and teaching him to be the best baseball player in the nation.But he couldn’t have been any more happier watching his clumsy five-year-old baby girl try and lift a bat as she stood on home plate. Nor did he ever care about the many teasing jabs his friends gave him once Clarke had been born. He tried to keep a pout on his face in front of everyone but Abby was one of the only people to see how Jake really looked at their daughter. With such awe and love. She knew from the very first moment that she saw him holding Clarke that he truly wanted a little girl. Someone for him to protect and give all the love in the world to.She hadn’t been able to see threw Jake but she could see through Lexa. She could see the longing for a little blonde haired, green eyed little girl floating around her eyes. And she knew that Clarke really wanted a boy. Anytime the topic of babies had come up in a conversation after Clarke’s second year of high school the girl had her mind set on having a boy. With his middle name being Jake. Clarke thought her mother hadn’t been listening when that slipped out since she obviously didn’t notice the tear that streaked down her face before she left the room. Or at least she didn’t say anything.It was safe to say it was going to get quite interesting once the baby’s gender is revealed.Suddenly there was a soft knock on the door before a middle aged woman walked through the door.“Hi, Dr. Patel. It’s good to see you again,” Clarke said happily as the woman stopped near the exam table.“Likewise, Clarke. I hope everything has been going okay these past few weeks. And Lexa, it’s nice to see you again.”Lexa pushed out a hand and grasped Dr. Patel’s firmly in greeting,“You as well. And everything’s been pretty fine besides her cravings.”Abby watched as the three talked so openly with each other. Laughing and teasing Clarke about her strangest cravings that she made Lexa create in the middle of the night. Dr. Patel began moving around the room as they continued to talk, grabbing all the necessary supplies for Clarke’s examination and ultrasound. Abby inspected everything the doctor picked up, looking for any messed up medical instruments or making sure it was all cleaned properly.“And this is my mother, Abby Griffin,” Clarke’s voice pulled her away as she tried to discreetly look over the ultrasound machine.“It’s nice to meet you, Ms. Griffin,” The doctor said as she held out a hand.“Same to you,” Abby said as she quickly clasped her hand around the woman’s.“Her mother is also a doctor,” Lexa slipped in.Dr. Patel’s eyebrows rose at the information,“OBYGN?”“Surgeon,” Abby replied with a soft smile.“Ah, you have quite the job. Must get some interesting stories from that.”Abby chuckled lightly,“You’d be surprised at what someone will swallow without thinking that once it moves into their intestines that it may tear something.”“Not everyone thinks like a doctor, mom,” Clarke teased from the exam table.“She’s got a point,” Dr. Patel laughed before turning to look at the blonde,“Okay, how about we get started so we can get a look at that growing baby.”Abby sat as silently as she could in the corner as Dr. Patel began the routine exam on her daughter. It was a little odd, watching someone give her daughter an exam while her wife stood at the head of the bed holding her hand, but she quickly got over it in turn of listening to everything the doctor said. She was able to keep her two cents to herself the entire time and breathed a sigh of relief when Dr. Patel was done and ready to move onto the ultrasound.This, she would just sit back and marvel at.She watched as Clarke jumped at the cold gel on her belly follow quickly by the older woman placing the prob over it and moving it around. Abby slowly stood from her seat, eyes glued to the screen as it was filled with the form of her grandchild. Her feet moved her to the side of the bed next to Lexa, her eyes not once leaving the screen. The noises around her drowned out. The medical knowledge in her head shifting forward as she looked over the baby.Two hands, two feet, a little fuzzy shaped nose, and….Abby gasped. Her hand flying over her mouth as her years of medical training unknowingly helped her discover the one thing her daughter and wife playfully argued over. Everyone looked at her, eyes glossy with tears as she still stared at the screen.“You see it too?” Dr. Patel asked kindly.Abby could only nod. Fearful that if she removed her hand from her mouth in that moment that she would reveal everything to her daughter and Lexa. She could barely see Clarke shift on the table as she looked over the screen herself.“What does she see?” Clarke asked eagerly.“Your mother seems to have figured out the gender on her own.”Clarke and Lexa shared a gasp, eyes flying to the woman.“Mom, really? You can never keep a secret! You’ll be telling Lexa by the end of the day!”Abby was finally able to tear her eye away from the screen, the initial shock slowly leaving her body,“I’m sorry. I wasn’t really thinking while I was looking and I just…it just happened. And I won’t tell Lexa. Unless she wants to know or you want to know.”“We want to wait until Little Bean is born to learn the gender,” Lexa replied as she brushed a strand of Clarke’s hair behind her ear.Dr. Patel nodded silently before turning back to the screen,“Then let’s get some pictures and we’ll get you on your way.”Abby’s eyes drifted back to the screen, taking every little feature the baby was willing to show in it’s curled up form. She could just image Little Bean’s tiny fingers already curling around her’s and scrunching up it’s face just like Clarke had done when she was born. And she surprisingly found herself hoping that the little eyes that would look up at her in a few months time would be a wild green like Lexa’s. Filled with the same love that the brunette stared at Clarke with. Meant only for Clarke.And she couldn’t stop the smile as she thought that maybe a little bit of that love could be saved for her. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “You’re joking right now, right?”Lexa looked between Raven and the rest of her friends as they all sat around in their living room. It was the day after Clarke’s little reconnection with her mother and both women had decided that it was best to share with their friends about Abby slowly coming back into their lives. Last night Clarke had explained to her that everyone probably wouldn’t react too well about her mother working her way back into their lives, not after how she had left Clarke in such a mess after their engagement.And apparently she was right.Clarke sighed heavily next to her,“No, Raven, I’m not joking. We talked it over and she explained why she did what she did. And before you say anything, no that still doesn’t make up for the fact that she just walked out of my life. She’s still got a long way to go before I fully forgive her. I just don’t want my baby growing up without knowing it’s only grandparent.”Raven huffed lowly as she leaned back in her seat. Everyone else around them stayed silent and just let the news sink in. Lexa could see Octavia struggling to keep her own opinions from spewing out her mouth at the mention of Abby. Ever since Clarke began explaining what had occurred at their lunch the petite brunette hadn’t stopped bouncing her leg.“Then that’s great, Clarke. I hope you’re able to work everything out with Abby,” Lincoln said calmly, which spurred both Raven and Octavia to fix him with glares.“Lincoln!” Octavia growled as she hit his chest.“What? There’s nothing more we can do than support Clarke in her decision. Am I happy about it? No, not really, but that’s not going to change her mind. You know that, O. The most we can do is support her and if Abby does something as fucked up as last time then we’ll all be there for her just like last time,” Lincoln said seriously.Lexa could see the fight quickly leaving both Octavia and Raven. She had expected more of an argument with the two women but was surprised to see their shoulders slump in defeat not even two seconds later.“Fine,” Raven mumbled,“I support you, Clarke. But if she so much as makes you cry I swear I will make sure they never find her body.”Clarke chuckled lowly,“Thanks, Rae…I think.”Lexa glanced over at her wife and notice that she was still waiting for a response from Octavia. The brunette continued to stare down at the coffee table in silence before she was nudged by Lincoln. She huffed quietly before sitting up and meeting Clarke’s gaze.“Are you sure about this, Clarke? I don’t want to see you go through what you went through last time.”“I’m sure, O,” Clarke said confidently,“I think everything will be okay this time. If not…I have all of you to be here with me, and I don’t think it’ll be as hard as it was the first time around if it comes to it.”Lexa wanted to scoff. She may not remember how hard it had been for her wife to practically lose her mother the first time but she knew that the blonde would take it even harder if it happened a second time. Clarke had at least explained to her that after her mother had left her she spent more than a week holed up at home crying her eyes out, pushing everyone else away, even her. It had taken all of their friends gathering at their apartment and dragging Clarke out of their bed to get her back on her feet. It had taken a few weeks but the blonde had slowly started to become herself again, but after that the topic of parents was a sore spot for her.“If you think this is what’s best for you and your baby then we support you, Clarke,” Bellamy spoke up from the love seat as he pat Echo’s leg who was nodding in agreement.“Thank you. I appreciate it Bell, really,” Clarke smiled.Lexa watched with a happy smile as the friends began talking about her latest ultrasound, the topic of Abby slowly falling away but knowingly needed to be discussed just a little more. The brunette let her eyes roam over her friends for a few moments before she me Anya’s eyes. The older Woods sister nudged her head down towards the kitchen before she was up and out of her seat.Lexa turned and placed a kiss to Clarke’s temple before leaning down and whispering in her ear,“I’ll be right back.”Lexa walked into the kitchen and slowly took a seat next to her sister at the island. They sat in silence for a moment before she felt Anya’s gaze flicker over to her.“Are you okay with all of this?”She couldn’t lie and say she wasn’t stunned by the question. Ever since waking up in the hospital it was like her sister was a different person. Always defending someone else over her and arguing with her every chance she got, but now…now Anya was slowly falling back into the protective sister that she remembered.Lexa nodded,“Yeah. I just want her happy. And if her working everything out with Abby is what it takes then I’m okay with that.”“Her excuses were shit, Lexa. How can you be okay after hearing them?” Anya growled.“I guess, if were being honest…I kind of related to her.”Her sister spun in her chair and fixed her with confused eyes,“What are you talking about?”Lexa nervously wrung her hands and stared down at them,“After dad died, you remember how I was almost always with you? Showed up wherever you went?”“Yeah,” Anya chuckled,“I remember you suddenly popping up just as I was about to invited that pretty little red head into my apartment. You were a real cock block that night.”Lexa didn’t try to suppress her own laugh,“I’m not sorry about that one. She was a bitch. Anyway…after dad passed I guess I started feeling like Abby did. With mom and then dad, I was scared that you would be next. I saw you going on dates, always keeping yourself busy because I know that’s how you cope…I just saw you disappearing and I was selfish because I was always sure to ruin as many dates, keep you away from work as much as possible, always study with you. It felt like you were slipping through my fingers even though you weren’t.”Lexa looked up at her sister who now stared at her with wide eyes.“I can’t say that I wasn’t angry with Abby for leaving Clarke like that, but after hearing her explanation, albeit as shitty as it was…I related to her. I know what it’s like losing someone and fearing that you’re going to lose someone else you love. It’s the worst feeling in the world and you do everything you can to keep that person as close as possible. I get out of mine when I met Costia and realized that you weren’t going anywhere, but I guess Abby still has her fears,” Lexa finished.Anya said nothing, just continued to stare at her. Lexa grew nervous with her confess as the silence wrapped around them. She hadn’t been expecting to reveal that bit of information to her sister today let alone at all, but it seemed wrong to hide it from her any longer. It also made her chest feel a little lighter now that Anya knew. It made her feel just a little closer to her.She didn’t expect what came next. The arms wrapping around her and pulling her from her seat. The warm nose that pressed into her shoulder as hands rubbed up and down her back in comfort. The shaky breath that tumbled from her sisters lips.“I’m sorry,” Anya whispered,“I’m sorry I didn’t see it before. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”Lexa was quick to wrap her own arms tightly around her sister,“You have nothing to be sorry for and you were there for me. Yeah, you complained a few times here and there but you never shut me out. You didn’t push me away and say you were too busy. You always made time for me. Don’t you dare apologize for that.”But still Anya let the words tumble from her mouth once more,“I’m sorry.”And it hit her. Anya wasn’t just talking about not seeing how she felt then…she was apologizing for never seeing it. For not seeing how she really felt when their father died and for not seeing how she felt when she woke up after her accident. The words hurt her. Stung her heart because she knew that this broke her sister. There were only a hand full of times that Anya ever apologized to her like she was doing now so Lexa knew that this was serious for her sister.Lexa pushed her back and settle her hands on her shoulders,“Hey, look at me. I know that we haven’t exactly been in the best place with each other lately but that’s okay. We make mistakes but we work past them, okay? I don’t want to dwell on the past forever. I want us to move forward and make things better between us. When everything is settled and we’ve got everything out in the open, maybe then we can come back and talk on this if you really want…but for now I just want us to focus on the present. What’s here and right now.”Anya hung her head and Lexa knew it was to hide the tears that welled up in her eyes,“Yeah. Okay. I’m still sorry. I should have noticed it, Lex. I should have noticed it all. You’re my sister and I can’t even tell how you’re really feeling.”The brunette lifted her fingers to her sister’s chin and slowly lifted her so she could meet her eyes.“It’s okay. You’re making up for it now. Slowly but surely. And you can’t place all the blame on yourself. I should have spoken to you about how I felt. We’re equally to blame, okay? We’re sisters. We share it all.”Anya chuckled and rolled her eyes as she nodded her head. Lexa laughed along with her and pulled her into another hug. She reveled in the feeling of her sister’s arms wrapped around her. She was instantly transported back to when she was four and she would run into Anya’s arms after she returned from school. It made her feel warm inside every time she leapt into her arms. There was always that special love that she held for her sister that welled up in her chest each time her hands rubbed along her back. That same love swelled in her chest now, like it did so many years before. It was then that Lexa knew that everything would be okay between them.Everything would work out in the end.“I love them all but I’m so glad they’re gone. They wore me out,” Clarke sighed as she lounged back against the arm of the couch.Lexa shook her head as she moved Clarke’s feet so she could sit. She lowered her feet into her lap before grabbing one and beginning to gently massage it. The blonde moaned low and Lexa could feel her heartbeat increase at the sound.“God, I love when you do that. It makes everything feel better,” Clarke sighed as she sunk impossibly further into the couch.“Well, at least I know I’m good for something around here,” Lexa teased as she rubbed a little harder.Clarke fixed her with a suggestive smirk,“You’re good for way more than just one thing, Lex.”Lexa slowly put her wife’s foot down and maneuvered her way up so she could hover above her, careful of her rounding belly. Brunette curls fell around Clarke’s face like a curtain and had the woman giggling as it tickled her cheeks.“And just what ‘things’ am I good for, Clarke?”The blonde bit her lip playfully before reaching up and tangling her fingers into Lexa’s hair so she could pull her down for a heated kiss. Lexa moaned low in her throat as she began to devour her wife’s lips, the sweet taste of strawberry chapstick meeting her tongue as she brushed it along her bottom lip. Tan hands traced up wide hips before they began to push the fabric of Clarke’s shirt up to expose her sides and tummy. She ghosted her hands along her pale skin, knowing full well how ticklish the woman below her was. She danced her fingers just below her ribs and felt Clarke begin to squirm and giggled under her.“Lexa, you know that tickles.”The brunette smiled as she traced a few kisses down the column of her throat,“Which is exactly why I do it. I love hearing you laugh.”Clarke only panted in response as Lexa lightly nipped at her pulse point before suckling at the sensitive skin there. She could feel the blonde’s stomach press into her’s as she arched her back from the couch. The brunette smirked against her skin as she slowly but surely began to make her way down to the skin that was left exposed by the ‘v’ of Clarke’s shirt. Just before she could place a playful nip at the valley between her wife’s breasts Clarke was pushing at her shoulders.“Lexa, wait. I forgot I have something I want to show to you,” Clarke said excitedly.She playfully growled before sitting up,“Right now? It can’t wait a few hours?”Clarke was already off the couch by time she had asked her question.“Nope, and it’s cute that you think you could last a few hours,” Clarke said as she strut out of the living room,“Just wait there!”Lexa sighed in frustration, her body begging to have the blonde back under her. But she let Clarke go and get whatever had her so giddy to show her. She had a feeling that it would either have the tips of her ears burning in embarrassment or her heart thumping in excitement. She hoped for the latter.Clarke was only gone for a handful of seconds before suddenly reappearing, a large book like object in her hand. A wide smile played over her wife’s features as she took her seat back next to Lexa.Lexa arched an eyebrow as Clarke just stared at her in excitement,“Are you going to tell me what that is or do I have to guess?”The blonde wiggled in her spot a split second before thrusting the book over to Lexa,“This is something we would always look at when we were just home alone and wanted to look back at everything. I know you don’t want anyone putting pressure on you to be someone you don’t remember but I thought you might like to take a look at some of the things that happened during the years that you’re missing…you don’t have to if you don’t want to though.”Lexa watched Clarke nervously worry her bottom lip between her teeth as she stared down at her hands. Jade eyes shifted down to the large book that sat in her lap. The cover was a rich leather, a tree branching out branded onto the front. The brunette ran her fingers over the cursive ‘G’ and ‘W’ that sat in the bottom right corner. A flash of golden wrapping paper and the sound of a soft gasp filled her mind. The smell of peppermint and cedar wood tickled her nose as the image quickly faded away.“You got that for me for Christmas about two years ago,” Clarke whispered next to her.“I…I saw a little flash of it. Golden wrapping paper. I could hear your gasp in my ears, smell the peppermint and the tree…,” Lexa mumbled, her fingers still tracing along the leather book.Clarke’s hand found her’s atop the book. Her head snapped up and she instantly spotted the tears that had welled up in her eyes. She knew that telling the blonde what she had seen would spur some emotion and it made her feel a little guilty that she still hadn’t revealed the other little flashes that she’d had over the past months since waking up in the hospital.“After this…I’ll tell her. I’ll tell Clarke everything I’ve seen,” Lexa thought to herself as she lifted a hand to gently wipe a stray tear from Clarke’s cheek.“Come here,” Lexa whispered as she tugged the blonde into her arms and leaned back against the couch.Clarke fit easily in her arms even with the added cargo of their child. The brunette ghosted her hand over her wife’s growing abdomen for a moment before moving to fix the book in her lap. Once comfortably settled she wrapped her arm around Clarke’s shoulders and moved her so she was snuggled into her side, head resting on her shoulder as they looked down at the leather book.“Let’s see what my brain is missing out on,” Lexa said as she opened the book.The first picture that her eyes laid upon had her heart racing, throat clenching with sadness. There they both were, Clarke in a gorgeous white gown and Lexa in a white form fitting suit, standing in a large archway, the night sky glistening behind them. The stars almost seemed to dance the longer she stared.“I made you sneak away with me so I could take this. It was a little hard trying to grab my camera and tripod out of the closet in that dress,” Clarke giggled,“A few minutes after this Octavia came running up to us saying that we didn’t hire a photographer just for me to run off and take my own.”Lexa let out a little bubble of laughter,“Why did we hire a photographer when you’re the greatest one in all of Seattle?”Clarke blushed and shrugged her shoulders,“Octavia made a good point when she said that I couldn’t get married and take pictures at the same time. It took me almost four months but I finally found someone I trusted to take them.”“Only you would take four months to pick someone to take pictures.”“Funny. You said that same thing to me after I finally told you I chose someone.”Lexa only shook her head, the corners of her lips curving into a smile, and turned the page. There were dozens of pictures, each slot filled with various images and people. She could see their friends mingled into each one, a few just of her and Clarke. There were also of few of her own face as well as Clarke’s which had her wondering who took the one’s of her wife.“Most of the one’s of me you took. I do have to say, you’ve had to have picked up a few things from me over the years. You’re not too shabby with a camera,” Clarke said as she pointed out a picture of herself.Lexa’s eyes danced with wonder as she stared at the picture. Clarke was wearing a beautiful sundress, her blonde curls flying around as she twirled around. Her feet skimmed around the sand beneath her feet as she spun, the water of the ocean splashing around her feet where she stood, the bright sun casting golden rays onto her figure.“I told you, you should totally hire me,” Lexa mumbled as the initial shock of her wife’s beauty died down a bit.Clarke chuckled next to her, a hand swatting her leg gently,“I’ll see if I can fit you into my payroll.”Lexa continued to glide through the book. Different events played over each and every picture. Some of backyard barbecues and all the way to fancy gala events where she saw herself and Clarke dressed to the ten’s. Their friends continued to poke and weave their way into a few pictures but most remained of her and Clarke. One of her favorites in particular was the one of them together at a county fair, the lights of the ferris wheel a blur behind them as Lexa pulled Clarke into a sweet kiss. She let her fingers linger over that one longer than the rest. The sense of complete happiness and unyielding love flowing through her veins as she sketched the picture into memory.The next page hit her with something…unexplained. Only one remained, the rest of the slots waiting to be filled with more pictures. It was the same one that sat on the desk in Lexa’s home office. Clarke peaking over her bare shoulder and giving her that dazzling smile. But it wasn’t the picture that had her feeling the way she was when she saw it. No, it was the bright flash of light behind her eyes. The sound of tires screeching against pavement and the crunching metal that filled her ears.A flutter of golden locks peeking into her vision before fading away.A single white rose falling into shattered glass.“Lexa!”Lexa was pulled from the…she didn’t know what to call it. Clarke’s hands were like fire on her cheeks. Her chest was heaving as her lungs tried desperately to pull in air. Her blood was ice in her veins, fear settling deep and swirling around. She could feel her eyes were wide, the jade coloring disappearing behind blown pupils.“What the hell was that?” Lexa asked herself as she calmed her breathing.“Lexa? Tell me what happened. What’s wrong?” Clarke asked, worried.“I-I’m not sure, Clarke,” Lexa said, not letting her eyes drift back down to the picture,“I saw…something. I don’t know how to explain it.”Clarke searched her eyes before whispering,“Was it another memory? It couldn’t have been something good if it spooked you like that.”“No,” Lexa shook her head as she looked into blue eyes,“I don’t think it was a memory. This was something…different.”Clarke closed the book in her lap, something she was thankful for, and slide it onto the coffee table before grabbing her hands. One became tangled in her own and the other was placed softly onto her wife’s belly. Her fingers grazed the bump lovingly, her heart instantly calming down, and she closed her eyes. Clarke allowed her a few minutes of silence and just feeling her securely under her fingers as she calmed herself down further.“You can tell me what you saw, Lexa,” Clarke said.“I didn’t see too much,” Lexa began,“I heard the sound of tires squealing, metal crunching, and saw a bright flash of lights. And then I saw…”She wasn’t sure how to explain the blonde hair that she saw. It obviously belonged to Clarke and she didn’t want to worry her by filling her head with some sort of vision, but she knew that she couldn’t keep it from her.“I saw blonde hair and then it disappeared,” Lexa continued,“A white rose falling into shattered glass…and then you pulled me out of it. That was the last of it.”Clarke face was etched with worry, the little spot between her brows furrowing.“Maybe you should go see Dr. Williams tomorrow. Do a follow-up with him and explain that you’ve been having some visions.”Lexa slowly nodded and she knew that now would be the right time to tell her wife of the other flashes that she’d had.”“There’s something I need to tell you, too,” Lexa started slowly as she locked eyes with Clarke,“I’ve had other flashes…but these were memories, I think.”The blonde stared at her for a few seconds, her mouth slightly ajar,“What?”“I’ve had a few short glimpses of memories. There was one back when I was in the hospital. It was just a blur of colors and some woman behind a camera who I’m pretty sure was you. And then I had one about the time I took that photo. The one that’s in my office. I just saw you laughing and then looking over your shoulder at me before I took the picture,” Lexa explained,“I’ve seen a few other things but they haven’t been as significant as those two.”She’d seen other flashes in her sleep recently. Some of their friends, of her sister she never remembered…of Clarke. They were tiny things, more or less someone talking or letting out a small giggle before it was gone. Something she hadn’t felt she needed to share just yet.“Why didn’t you tell me?” Clarke whispered.Lexa swallowed thickly, her pulse hammering in her chest,“I…I didn’t want to get your hopes up. I didn’t want you to think that I was slowly regaining my memories when there’s still a possibility that they may not come back.”Clarke’s fingers tightened around her’s,“Lexa, I want you to know that you can share anything with me. I want you to share everything with me, if you want to that is. I understand that just because you see a few little things doesn’t mean that everything is coming back to you. I get that, but I don’t want you to think that hiding those things isn’t going to hurt me. Because it hurt that you didn’t share it with me but I understand why you did. Just…next time it happens, when you’re ready, tell me about it. I don’t want you to think that you have to sit through what may be confusing flashes by yourself. You can share anything with me.”The brunette stared at her wife with glossy eyes,“I’m sorry. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you. That’s why I didn’t tell you. I thought I was protecting you.”Clarke’s hands were instantly on her cheeks again and pulling them together so their foreheads touched,“Hey, stop. Don’t apologize. It’s okay. You told me when you were ready. That’s all that matters. It hurt a little that you kept it from me so long but I’m happy. I’m happy that you’ve been getting little pieces back. Maybe you won’t remember everything but maybe you’ll remember a few things. I can live with that. Just as long as you’re here with me I’m okay.”Lexa could only nod before she pushed forward and brushed her lips against Clarke’s. The kiss was sweet, innocent. Filled with promises that her too jumbled mind could’t quite comprehend at the moment. They stayed there. Hands brushing along arms and tickling down sides as they lazily kissed. Everything seemed to fall into that moment. The pictures, the flashes, the perfect way Clarke felt against her lips.But still, in the back of her mind, that one little flash replayed over and over. The bright lights, blonde hair, the white rose. It had her heart ever so slowing sinking into the pit of her stomach, like it wouldn’t hit the bottom until her vision was finalized and happening before her. It had her hands clammy and her pulse skipping a beat, the back of her neck prickling with sweat. She tried to will it away. To just let herself get lost in her wife as she slowly lowered her back into their previous position.But she kept hearing the crushing metal in her ears. The bright lights shining behind her closed eyelids. The sound of squealing tires.And then nothing.Just silence. Darkness. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Bright lights. Tires squealing. Metal crunching. A white rose. Blonde curls. “Clarke…” Lexa bolted up from the bed with a strangled gasp. Her head fell into hands as she tried to calm her ragged breathing, her forehead slick with sweat.It’s been the same dream for the past week. Hearing the same horrifying sounds. The rose. The blonde hair that she didn’t doubt for a second were Clarke’s. And every single time she was startled from her sleep. Though, this time she did hear her wife’s name whispered in her own voice.Green eyes peered over to the sleeping body next to her. Clarke’s ribs expanded with each even inhale and exhale. A sight that had Lexa’s heart easing from it’s momentary panic. The blonde laid on her side, hand resting gently over her belly. Her shirt had risen in the midst of her tossing and turning to get comfortable and Lexa could now see the pale skin that laid beneath.A small smile formed over her lips as she settled back down into the bed, her head propped up in the palm of her hand as she stared down at Clarke. Her other hand carefully brushed over the exposed, firm skin. Careful not to wake her, Lexa leaned down closer and ghosted a warm kiss where their child rested.“I’m not going to let anything happen to you or your momma,” Lexa whispered,“I haven’t been the best as of late but I’ll never let anything hurt either of you. I promise.”A firm kick pressed against where her hand now rested, almost as if the baby had been waiting to respond to her voice all night. Lexa broke out into a smile and quickly tried to soothe the movements that followed as Clarke began to stir in her sleep.“Shhh. You don’t want to wake your momma, do you? She needs all the rest she can get,” Lexa quietly shushed the baby.“How can she when the two of you are having your own little conversation at two in the morning?”The brunette smiled sheepishly as Clarke’s raspy voice reached her ears. She peered up to see hazy blue eyes staring up at her softly.“Talking to the baby helps them feel attached to you after they’re born. It’s all in the book, Clarke.”The blonde rolled her eyes,“You and that damn book. I’m going to hide it if you keep referencing to it every time we talk about the baby.”Lexa moved from her position and curled along the blonde’s back, pulling her close and leaving one hand to draw soothing patterned over her wife’s tummy,“You love it when I reference the book. I can see it in your eyes. You don’t have to pretend with me. Besides, I’ve seen you reading it a few times. Don’t try and deny it either.”“You caught me,” Clarke responded with a low, sleepy chuckle.As soon as the little laugh left Clarke’s lips Little Bean pressed a foot to Lexa’s hand once more.“He likes your laugh,” Lexa said softly, but didn’t earn a response,“Clarke?”An even exhale of breath was all she got in return. Blue eyes had once again disappeared under delicate eyelids and pink lips parted softly in sleep. Lexa allowed her eyes to trace over the sleeping form of her wife, trying to commit the image to memory. Tires squealing. She shook her head. Cleared the sound from her mind.“I’m not going to let anything happen to either of you. I swear.”A soft press of what felt like tiny fingers to the palm of her hand was the last thing she remembered as she finally fell into a dreamless sleep. Shift in POV (Clarke) “There! You feel it?”Clarke smiled brightly as she moved her friends hand around her belly where Little Bean was currently kicking. Octavia’s eyes widened, her own smiling almost as dazzling as the blonde’s.“Oh my god! He kicked! He kicked!”The mother-to-be giggled at her best friend’s child-like response but was happy to see her overcome with such joy. After seeing Lexa off to work that morning, making sure she remembered her appointment with Dr. Williams later that day, Clarke had called Octavia and Raven over for a much needed girl’s day. The friends currently were lounging on the couch in the living room, the blonde squished between the two women. Their little gossiping circle had been broken as soon as Clarke felt the baby begin to move.“Hey! What about Auntie Rae? She wants to feel, too!” Raven bellowed as she pushed Octavia’s hand away and replaced it with her’s.Clarke rolled her eyes as the two friends began to bicker back and forth about who’s turn it was to feel Little Bean kick. More than likely because of the increase in volume the baby sent a somewhat sharp kick to the blonde’s ribs causing her to winch and push away Octavia’s hands.“Okay, I think that’s enough feeling. You’re both getting too loud and he’s trying to play kickball with my ribs,” Clarke complained as she rubbed at her stinging side.Both women pouted like scolded children as they moved back to their previous positions on the couch. Clarke’s ran her hands soothingly around her belly to try and calm Little Bean down as they continued to chat gossip about anything and everything.Raven took a sip from her glass of wine as she gazed pensively over at Clarke,“So…how are things with Abby?”She couldn’t say she didn’t see it coming. Clarke knew that Octavia and Raven still weren’t entirely comfortable about Abby’s reappearance even though they just put on happy faces for her.“As well as they can be, I guess,” Clarke sighed,“Everything went smoother than I thought it would during our lunch and the doctor’s appointment.”“But?” Octavia urged her to continue.“But…since then it’s been a little awkward. We didn’t really get a chance to see each other a lot before she had to go back home. She calls but all our conversations just seem to fall flat. I know she’s trying and so am I but some things are harder to work on than others.”Raven swirled her wine around in her glass thoughtfully,“She hasn’t tried to convince you that Lexa is still bad for you?”Clarke sighed deeply at the Latina’s question,“No, Rae, she hasn’t. Mom’s been more supportive of us since the talk and I’ve told her her reasonings for why she did what she did. Although sometimes it’s still hard to wrap my head around it Lexa has told me that she kind of related to her in a way.”After their time with the photo album Lexa had confessed to her about her conversation with Anya and just how she felt. How she had understood just what her mother felt at the time…not that she still wasn’t a little upset for Abby’s way of handling the situation.“Related to her? How?” Octavia questioned, confused.Clarke began to explain everything to her best friends. From Lexa’s father passing to her sudden attachment to Anya. How the brunette had come to realize that there wasn’t too much of a difference between how she felt and how Abby felt. The talk between them had been one of realization for Clarke. She was sure that there wasn’t anything, other than the love they both held for her, that both women would be able to relate to. It was in that moment that she saw the similarities of how both her wife and mother handled their emotions.“I never knew that. Anya’s never said anything,” Raven commented quietly.“Anya didn’t know either, until Lexa told her the other day.”Octavia shifted uncomfortably on the couch,“Lexa is good at hiding her real feelings, huh?”The blonde could feel the subtle ache beginning to form behind her eyes. It seemed every unwanted conversation was popping up today.So much for a relaxing girl’s day.“O, please, not now,” Clarke said as she slowly got to her feet.“I’m not trying to bring up anything painful, Clarke. I just want to know if you’ve both been working things out instead of hiding from each other,” Octavia said as she followed behind her.Raven wasn’t too far behind,“Maybe this is a conversation for another day.”“Why?” Octavia pushed,“If everything has been as fine as they make it look then there shouldn’t be too much to talk about.”Clarke held in the deep huff that she wanted to release. She decided to ignore her friend in turn of walking into the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. She felt instant relief as the cold liquid slid down her suddenly parched throat. With a calming breathe Clarke finally turned around and addressed Octavia and Raven, who eyes her curiously.“What?”Octavia’s eyes shifted over her form before looking down at her hands,“If everything was okay between you two you would have said something already. Instead, you’re just avoiding the question.”“Are you both doing okay? For real?” Raven finished for her.Clarke’s heart rate increased slightly as she looked between her two best friends. Nothing had prepared her to be cornered in this moment by them. She stayed silent even though she knew it wasn’t the best way to react to the questions. Instead, Clarke began to busy herself around the kitchen. Doing little things here and there, the silence deafening around her.As she wiped down a perfectly clean counter a hand resting on her shoulder startled her. She slowly turned to see Raven gazing at her worriedly, Octavia right behind her.“Clarke, talk to us,” The Latina softly urged.The ache behind her eyes grew and she knew that she couldn’t get out of the conversation at hand. With a deep sigh, Clarke threw the towel down on the counter and plopped down heavily into one of the stools at the island.“I…I feel horrible,” She whispered.With her face cradled in her hands Clarke failed to see the worried look exchanged between Octavia and Raven.“Why, Clarke?” Octavia asked softly as she took a seat next to her.Clarke closed her eyes and tried to quell her emotions.“We promised to be open with each other. Lexa opened up with a few things that she’s kept to herself and I felt a little hurt because of it. But what I’m keeping from her…I don’t deserve to feel like I did.”Raven rubbed soothingly at her back,“What are you talking about, Clarke?”The blonde sniffled a little as she reigned in her tears,“Lexa told me that she’s been having a few flashes, memories. Nothing too big. She opened up to me about that the same night she told me about her talk with Anya. Since then I’ve felt horrible. I-I still see the picture of her and Costia around in newspapers and magazines. I know and trust that what Lexa told me is true, that they only talked. I don’t doubt that at all. This has nothing to really do with Lexa but about other people.”“Clarke, what are you talking about?” Octavia stressed, confused.“I still see the picture, O! I see what other’s say about them! I know Lexa isn’t going anywhere, that she’s not going to go back to Costia, but I can’t get over what everyone else says! It’s all I see when I walk past the news stand every day during my lunch!” Clarke shouted,“It’s been a while but that picture is still around! People still talk about it! I’m still having a hard time dealing with it. It’s not anything to do with Lexa or her possibly leaving me—it’s the gossip! The people putting words to a picture that is nothing more than friends talking!”Raven leaned against the counter,“So, you feel horrible because you’ve been keeping how you really feel about all the new’s gossip from Lexa?”“Yes,” Clarke sighed,“It’s a horrible thing to be worried about considering all that Lexa’s been going through and everything else that’s happened but my brain just can’t stop thinking about it. Its like everywhere I turn it’s there and someone is talking about it!”Before either friend could respond the clearing of a throat behind them had the friends whipping around. Lexa stood behind them, hands secure in the pockets of her pants, her eyes solemnly locked on Clarke. Blue eyes widened in slight horror.“Lexa…,” Clarke whispered.The brunette stepped forward and eyed her two friends,“Octavia, Raven, do you mind?”Clarke gave them a curt nod when they looked to her. She knew that this conversation was going to be inevitable now, more than ever, and she’d rather it just be her and Lexa. Both women silently slinked out of the kitchen and into the living room to gather their things. Jade eyes stayed locked on her and neither one of them moved unit they heard the front door click closed.“Why didn’t you tell me?”The words that she had spoken the week before were repeated in Lexa’s voice. Her hands, palms clammy, wrung together in her lap as she stared at her wife. Lexa took calm steps towards her and when she reached her she gently cupped her cheek.“Why’d you keep this from me?”“I didn’t want you to worry. I know we agreed to tell each other everything, and that you’ve told me about the flashes, and that I felt hurt because you kept them from me…but I don’t deserve to have felt that way. Not when I hid this from you, and I understand if you feel hurt. I do. I just…I couldn't stop from feeling this way. I see it and my mind just thinks about everything that everyone says. I’m not scared of you leaving me for her, Lex. I’m not. I never was. It’s just what everyone says. The things they say about you, about me and her. I hear it. I hear them whispering and —.”Lexa cut her off with a lingering kiss. Clarke let out a breathless gasp when she pulled away and rested her forehead against her’s.“Calm down, Clarke. Breathe. It’s okay,” The brunette soothed her as her hands ran up and down her arms.“You’re not upset?”“Upset? No. Hurt? A little, but that’s to be expected. I don’t want you to feel that you don’t deserve to feel hurt by what I kept from you just because you kept something from me as well. We feel what we feel and that’s okay. You felt hurt and I feel hurt but that’s understandable,” Lexa explained calmly,“I do wish that you would have told me how you felt and I’m sorry that you weren’t able to tell me when you were ready, that I overheard you, but I’m not going to feel guilty for knowing now. I can help you with it, Clarke. Just trust me.”Clarke sighed as Lexa pulled her into her chest,“I do trust you. So much. It’s just what other people decided to tell the media that I don’t trust. I hate that they think that you talking with her means you were cheating on me. Even if she is your ex that doesn’t mean that you can’t talk to her.”“That’s just how some people see things, Clarke. I talked to her behind your back and some people view that as cheating and some don’t. And that’s okay. They are entitled to their opinions and freedom of speech that allows them to spread gossip, but you and I know the real truth and that’s what matters. I’m not going to believe something I see plastered on a magazine before I talk to you about it first,” Lexa said.The blonde cringed as she recalled their debacle in her office the day she first saw the picture,“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to say how sorry I am for that. I jumped to conclusions and didn’t give you time to explain.”Lexa’s hands rubbed circles on her back,“I know. I know. We make mistakes and we learn from them, Clarke. We better ourselves from them.”Clarke wasn’t upset that Lexa didn’t tell her that it was okay. That she didn’t need to feel sorry. And she didn’t want her to tell her that it was okay. The blonde knew that she reacted out of anger and didn’t give Lexa time to explain before blowing up in her face. She didn’t deserve nor did sh want for Lexa to just act like it never happened because it did and she wants it to be a remembrance for her to always talk everything out before jumping to conclusions.“We’re really bad at telling each other everything, aren’t we?” Lexa said teasingly as she nuzzled her nose into blonde waves.A weak giggle tumbled from Clarke’s lips,“Yeah, we are.”Lexa pulled her tighter into her chest,“But we’ll work on it. We’ll do better.”“Both of us,” Clarke agreed as she leaned back and smiled lightly at her wife.The brunette gave her a smile of her own before leaning down and pressing a chaste kiss to her lips.“Now, I want you to explain to me how you feel about all the gossip and the picture.”Clarke began to shake her head,“Lexa, I—.”A long finger stopped any further words to come from her mouth,“No. We’re going to talk this out. You’ll tell me how you feel about the gossip and I’m going to tell you how I feel about these flashes I’ve been having. We’re going to start talking about everything, for real this time, and we’re going to sleep peacefully because we really aren’t hiding everything from each other.”Clarke knew there was no arguing when Lexa brought out her ‘commander’ tone. Instead, she just nodded and allowed Lexa to lead her to the living where they would begin their much needed, and long, talk. Shift in POV (Lexa) “What the hell do you mean you ‘just forgave her’? She fucking broke your heart, Lexa!” Lexa rolled her eyes angrily as she listened to her sister over the car’s speakers. This talk defiantly went down hill a lot faster than she thought it would. She had expected her sister to be a little more happy and relieved that she forgave Costia and put it behind her. No longer holding on to the past. “I know that, Anya. I was there, remember?”Lexa huffed,“But running into her tonight…I realized how much I just wanted to settle things and put that all completely behind me. My forgiving her and letting her go was the best thing to do.” “Yes, you deserved to put it behind you, but she didn’t Lexa! Costia didn’t deserve your forgiveness! She broke you! You didn’t see how I saw you! You acted like everything was okay until you got your hands around a bottle of alcohol! You just drowned it all away at night when you thought no one else was watching! But I was! I was there!” Knuckles turned white as hands gripped the steering wheel tightly. Lexa pushed away the memories and slurring words and blurry vision, the taste of stale alcohol on her breath the next morning. Her nostrils flared and the muscles of her jaw clenched as she remembered the rolling of her stomach as she ran to the bathroom each time. She pushed it all away. Left it all alone. “It’s over, Anya. I already forgave her and that’s all that’s going to be said on the matter. I’m happy with Clarke now and nothing is going to change that.” “You forgive her but I don’t. I never will! If I ever see her I won’t just sit back and act like she’s not the person who broke my little sister’s heart in the cruelest of ways!” “I’m not asking you to!” Lexa said as her rage began to boil over,“It’s not like I want myself or you to be friends with her! You know why I forgave her? For real? I forgave her because she drove me to Clarke. I thanked her because if she hadn’t done what she did then God knows if I really would have ever met Clarke! I’m with her now because of Costia!” She could hear Anya scoff over the speaker when she spoke the word ‘friend’. Lexa knew that her sister probably wouldn’t be too happy about her talk with Costia but she didn’t expect this type of reaction. Just when she was about to continue her argument her car’s screen showed an incoming phone call. -Clarke- “Look, An. Clarke is calling me. We’ll talk about this more later. I just want a peaceful night with my wife and then we’ll discuss this face to face. Okay?” The only response she got was a dial tone. She wasn’t too worried thought. It was much like her sister to just hang up when she was mad. There had been more than one occasion where she was given the dial tone mid argument. Pushing it to the side, she quickly answered her wife’s incoming call. “Hey, babe. I’m on my way home now. I’m about twenty minutes away. I’ve got us some wine and I though we’d have a nice relaxing dinner at home and-,”She was quickly cut off by Clark’s excited voice. “It’s positive, Lex!” Her heart raced. It couldn’t be. “What’s positive?” “The pregnancy test! I’m pregnant! We’re going to be mothers!” Clarke squealed happily into the phone. Lexa’s heart rate elevated. A loud gasp was pulled from her lips and she tried to control herself from stopping the car in the middle of the road and jumping out to dance with joy. “Are you serious right now, Clarke?” “Dead serious! We’re going to have a baby!” The brunette threw her head back and sent a gracious thank you to the gods above,“Holy shit, babe! Oh my god, Clarke, I can’t even process this right now! I guess we’ll have to find something other than wine to celebrate with!” Clarke’s voice lowered into a husky tone,“I’m sure we can think of something, Lexa.” The blood in her veins became heated,“God don’t speak with that voice, Clarke. You know what it does to me.” “Yes, I do. Now gt home so I can cuddle you with the little one sitting in my belly.” “Okay, okay. I’m almost there. About another fifteen minutes.” “Okay, I’ll see you at home. Be safe,” Clarke said lovingly. “I will. I love you, Clarke. We’r egging to have a baby!” Lexa shouted joyously. “I love you, too, Lexa. And we are! It’s finally happening!” “Bye, babe. I’ll be home soon.” “Bye, Lex.” Lexa pressed the end button on her steering wheel, officially ending the call. In her complete excitement over the news her hands beat happily at the steering wheel. The car’s horn sounded a few times and she was happy no other cars were beside her to glare at her unnecessary use of it. Her smile stretched across her face, her cheeks burning with the intensity of it. Images flashes around her eyes. Clarke’s belly rounding and helping to bring something so precious into their world. Beautiful blue eyes gazing up into her’s for the first time. Little giggles sounding in her ears as she chased a little wobbly toddler across the backyard. And just as a flash of Clarke gently rocking a little newborn raced through her mind, bright headlights filled her vision. Screeching tires drowned out the sound of her wife’s soft humming. Her head cracking harshly against the window and steering wheel had her almost missing the bright smile that Clarke looked up at her with. “Clarke.” Her name was a whisper on her lips. A last reminder before blood seeped into her vision and everything bled into black. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Blue swallowed her vision.Those same horrifying sounds that she kept hearing growing louder and louder with each passing second.Red.Blood.Both her’s and Clarke’s.Her memories and visions blended together. Melding and making it nearly impossible for her to decipher which had been a reality and which had been imagined in her head. Sometimes she would see herself in the drivers seat, fading in and out of consciousness, almost like her memory but not quite. Sometimes she would hear her wife’s breath fading away and being replaced by that eery silence that was so consuming it had her shooting out of her sleep completely soaked in a cold sweat.Then last night…last night was the first time that she had seen Clarke cradling a bloody baby bump. And that itself sent her mind into a tangle of nerves and horror. She couldn’t shake the image.She couldn’t shake them.The memory.The nightmare.“You okay, Lex?”Anya’s voice sent her visibly jumping from her leather chair, glasses sliding down to the tip of her nose and hands knocking over the lukewarm cup of coffee as she tried to balance herself. The dreams and vision flittered on the edge of her vision as she locked eyes with her sister. She could see that damn white rose falling helplessly into a pile of shattered glass as Anya looked over her with worry.Lexa shook her head and cleared her throat to gain some type of control back to her mind,“Yeah, I’m fine. Just zoned out a little, I guess.”“If you’re so fine then why is Clarke calling me asking to keep an eye on you?” Anya asked as she held her phone up to show Lexa, messages from the blonde on display,“What aren’t you telling me, Lexa?”The brunette sighed deeply as she massaged her temples. It had been another two weeks since the dreams started. Since she regained the memory of her crash. Lexa had taken up Clarke’s advice and had visited Dr. Williams a number of times to discuss the sudden onslaught of visions that she couldn’t explain. But most of what she got was something along the lines of ‘it’s common for some people with head injuries to experience hallucinations and delusions’.What a big help that had been.Lexa had told her sister and friends about the memory but kept the visions a secret. She didn’t like seeing them let alone having to explain them in detail to everyone. Not when she was more than sure that they involved Clarke getting hurt…or worse.“Hello? Earth to Lexa!”A pair of fingers snapping in her face pulled her from her haze. Jade eyes set into focus on Anya’s face as she pushed her hand away from her face.“What, Anya? Don’t you have some work to do?”Anya took a defensive stance, hands on her hips and eyes baring down on her,“Not until you tell me what’s going on with you. Are you and Clarke having problems? Was it another memory? A bad one?”She figured there was really no more keeping it from her sister. Not with those eyes boring into her own.“No, Clarke and I are fine. We’re working through everything as best as we can,” Lexa said as she moved to grab some tissues to clean up the spilled coffee,“And it’s not a memory per se.”The older sister carefully sat down in one of the chairs in front of Lexa’s desk,“Not a memory per se?”The CEO threw the soaked tissues in the trash, trying to avoid eye contact with her sister,“Yes. Dr. Williams said it’s more than likely just hallucinations or delusions. It’s nothing too serious.”“I think it’s pretty serious if the dark circles under your eyes are anything to go by. You look like you haven’t slept in a week, Lexa,” Anya said firmly,“Tell me about it. Maybe it’ll help.”Lexa pinched the bridge of her nose as the visions bled into her mind once again. There was a pounding in her head with each sound. With every flash of bright lights. Every little speck of blood.“It’s almost like my memory from the crash. Except I’ll see or hear Clarke next to me. I’ll see her blonde hair. See bright lights everywhere. A white rose. And I’ll hear metal crunching and I know it’s a crash. That were in a car. It seems like it gets worse every night. There’s always something new about it,” Lexa whispered hoarsely as she cradled her head,“I haven’t gotten the chance to tell Clarke yet since she left for work before I woke up, but last night the newest thing I saw was her cradling her stomach…there was so much blood. I don’t…I can’t just explain that to her over the phone.”“Then go talk to her,” Anya said as she stood from the plush chair.“What?”The oldest Woods sister walked around the large desk and pulled Lexa up by her arm and began pushing her towards the door,“Take a lunch break. Go take your wife to eat and tell her about last night’s dream. You need to talk to her about it all even though I’m sure both of you already have, but you look like you’re about to pass out. Seeing her will do you some good since you didn’t get the chance to see her after waking up from that. It’ll set your mind at ease when you see her.”Anya was right. Not seeing Clarke that morning after such a horrifying vision was probably why she felt like she would succumb to darkness at any moment. She needed to see her wife, feel her skin under her hands and feel her warmth. Feel their baby kick at her hands they skimmed over Clarke’s belly. She needed to be reassured that Clarke was living — breathing.With renewed determination Lexa briskly walked towards her office door, no longer needing Anya’s support to push her forward,“You’re right. I just need to see her with my own eyes. I’ll be back later.”And with that Lexa was out of her office and walking towards the elevators with a sense of determination. The entire walk she could feel Anya’s eyes locked onto her back causing a warm loving feeling to settle in her heart. After stepping into the elevator and turning around Lexa was able to meet her sister’s encouraging gaze from across the floor. There was a fleeting nod of encouragement from Anya right before the doors slid shut in front of her.The ‘closed’ sign that hung in the door of Clarke’s studio didn’t deter Lexa one bit. The spare key that the blonde had given her was slipped into the lock and she was pushing her way inside before anyone walking on the sidewalk could glance at her twice. A little chime that her mind never registered before sounded through the studio as she quickly locked the door but it still didn’t stop her strut towards Clarke’s office, determination clear in her walk. A little rustling sounded from the office right before Clarke appeared through the door, eyes downcast at the folder in her hands.“I’m sorry, I don’t know how you got in but I’m closed for the next hour.”The click of her heels against the concrete floor should have been more than enough to give her away to her wife seeing as to how she heard it almost every other day but it didn’t seem to faze her. Lexa was a little concerned that Clarke still didn’t look up from her folder as she got closer and closer…she would definitely have to talk to her about her safety.Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, but was literally only five seconds, a pair of annoyed ocean eyes peered up at her.“I told yo—Lexa? What are you doing here?”A smirk overtook her features as she came upon the blonde, hands quickly pulling the folder from her wife’s hands and throwing it carelessly to the ground. Clarke gasped, pink lips parting deliciously with the sound, before they were swallowed by Lexa’s. Dainty fingers clasped to the sleeves of her jacket as she began moving Clarke backwards and further into her office. The door was slammed shut by her foot and Lexa quickly spun them to press her wife against it, lifting her up and urging her to wrap her legs around her waist.The feelings that raged in her chest had been building since she had awoken that morning. And it only took Anya pushing her out her office while giving her words of encouragement to realize them for what they were. She wanted -needed- to feel Clarke’s skin under her. Soft. Warm. Alive. She needed to have her withering under her and just knowing that with each desperate heave of her chest her heart was beating along inside it. Lexa needed to hear those little moans the blonde breathed out every time she nipped or licked a certain spot -feel them against her neck as she pushed her over the edge with everything she had.And, god, did she need to have her hands running over the growing swell of her stomach. Feel the flutter of life under the firm skin and let her heart flutter right along side it. The movement a reassurance that her dreams were just…dreams. That Clarke and their child were still living, breathing, and here with her. She needed both of them to wash away the sounds and images of her dreams, visions -to replace them with nothing but their essence.She was going to get what she needed.Right now.“Lex,” Clarke mumbled breathlessly as she broke away from her lips.She didn’t respond instead trailing a fiery line down her neck and over exposed collarbones, thankful for Clarke’s choice in shirt. Pale hands moved over her shoulders, into hair, tangling with a solid grip and trying to find leverage to ground herself from the sudden onslaught of heated kisses. Pale fingers tugged at her baby hairs when she nipped softly at the sensitive spot where Clarke’s neck met her shoulder -a shudder following quickly behind the sharp tug.“Lexa,” Clarke pulled at the nape of her neck, successfully breaking her lips away from her skin to look into her eyes,“Not that I’m not happy to see you but…what’s gotten into you? What’s this about?”With the waver in her wife’s eyes Lexa knew that Clarke could feel, probably taste, the emotions that swelled in her chest, on her lips, in her eyes. She learned early on after their talk that Clarke seemed to be more in-tuned with her emotions, paying attention to every little detail that she could and learning more about the little ticks that easily have her away when she was hiding something.A creased forehead fell onto Clarke’s as jade eyes disappeared behind clenched eyelids. Hands danced along blushing cheeks and swollen lips, drifting down to a rounded stomach and straining to feel any movement.“Just…,” Lexa breathed into the tiny space between them,“Just let me have this. Let me feel you. Let me know that you’re here. And I’ll tell you after.”She could feel Clarke’s worried eyes on her. Feel her eyebrows furrow against her skin.“Please.”That last plead was all it took before the blonde was nodding against her and pulling her back to her lips.Lexa wanted this to be something to remember; something her mind would wonder back to and feel nothing but love. But…she also wanted it to serve as a remind for the sweltering heat that settled low in her belly. The one that could only be caused by Clarke. Lexa wanted to become lost in the feel of Clarke squirming against her, the warm blood flowing through her veins that made the perfect flush bloom across her skin in the midst of passion. She also wanted to let loose the wild beast that roared to just bring Clarke over the brink of ecstasy over and over and over again. She wanted to feel the unbridled emotions. The pleasure. The love. Her slightly chilled fingers snuck their way under Clarke’s shirt, the woman retreating from the cold flesh by instinct, and working it off her body and into a heap on the floor. Lexa’s hips pinned Clarke to the door, mindful of her belly, as her hands moved along the arch of her back in search for the clasp of her bra. Once it was found and discarded with her shirt the rest of her clothes were gone in a blur. The brunette’s mouth clamped down over the swiftly beating pulse on Clarke’s neck and sucked lightly which earned her a breathless moan and bucking hips.Lexa’s hands went back to cradle her thighs before moving them away from the door and towards Clarke’s desk. Intense blue eyes filled with lust and love fluttered open to stare into her’s as she lowered her carefully onto the desk. Without breaking eye contact Lexa let her hands roam over the expanse of milky thighs barley skimming around the heated area between them -teasing. But she didn’t tease for long. The urgency to feel all of Clarke against her, withering, was almost overwhelming and she found herself pushing two fingers inside her wife in a single stroke. “Oh, god.” Blonde hair tumbled around bare shoulders as Clarke’s head fell back and mouth open in a needy moan. Deft fingers curled perfectly inside her and Lexa could feel her walls flutter around the slender digits signifying her impending orgasm. But she didn’t want it to end so soon. Instead she let her fingers curl once more before leaving the blonde empty and wanting with a frustrated sound. A small smirk played at the corner of her lips as Clarke’s needy eyes met her’s.“Why’d you stop?”“Don’t worry, Clarke,” Lexa said as she slowly fell to her knees before her, eyes catching the drop of her wife’s jaw,“I’m nowhere near done with you yet.”And as her mouth sealed over Clarke’s clit, tongue swirling around and disappearing over and over again before she could make her tumble over the edge, the blonde fell back against her desk. Ribs expanded with every harsh breath and Clarke didn’t seem to care about any of the files or other things that littered her desk that she knocked over in search of something to hold onto. “Fuck, Lexa. I love you.” And that’s what she needed -longed- to hear as she finally pushed Clarke over the edge.Clarke’s hips rolled and bucked against her mouth. Back arching off the desk and hands fisting in her hair with a loud cry.She barley gave her time to recover before standing and hovering over her as best she could, letting her fingers skim across her heated flesh. A heart beat wildly under the fingertips of her right hand while her left felt the subtle movement of their child. Clarke’s thighs still trembled from where they were now locked around her hips and pulling her own still clothed hips against her. Lexa could feel the deep shudder that shot through the blonde’s body when the rough material of her pants met her center.Clarke rose onto shaky elbows and sighed contently when Lexa leaned forward, hands finding purchase on the desk beside her hips, and bumping their foreheads together. Black swallowed the majestic blue that Lexa became mesmerized by time and time again and she felt a little pride at knowing it was because she was still coming down from an orgasm that she caused.The blonde let out a breathless chuckle as she rose one hand to brush away a knotted strand of brunette waves.“You going to tell me what this is all about now? Or are you still nowhere near done with me yet?”Lexa had hoped that she wouldn’t bring it up again until she was ready to discuss it but she knew that Clarke was worried about her.“Mockery is not the product of a strong mind, Clarke,” Lexa husked,“And no, I’m not done with you yet…but, I guess before I continue to have my way with you I can explain it to you.”The CEO helped her wife sit up onto the desk and rested her hands onto her hips as Clarke swung her arms over her shoulders. Blue eyes wondered over her features trying to find any hint of shifting emotions and Lexa couldn’t help but become lost in them.“The dreams -visions- you know they’re getting worse,” Lexa whispered and Clarke nodded slowly,“Last night I had another dream. You…you wer-.”Lexa’s lips trembled breathlessly as she tried to will away the tears that stung behind her eyes. Gentle fingers cupped her cheeks and wiped away the stray tear that escaped and poured down towards her jaw.“Hey, it’s okay. Just breath,” Clarke gently urged.“You and the baby. There was so much blood, Clarke. It would’t go away. I couldn’t get it out of my head. You weren’t there when I woke up and I just couldn’t reassure myself that you were okay. Anya convinced me to come over and take you to lunch. Said seeing you would probably calm me down a bit,” Lexa rambled.Clarke silenced her with a kiss. Her skin tingling against her’s and making her pull her further into her body.“I’m fine,” The blonde insisted as she brought one of her hands to rest against her belly,“We’re fine. Healthy and craving some damn blueberries for three days straight.”And Lexa laughed. A small giggle working it’s way into an emotion-filled laugh as she ran her hands all along Clarke’s body. Thighs, belly, shoulders, cheeks. Just feeling her and laughing. Letting the images that plagued her be washed away by the smiling and warm life that was before her.There was still something in the back of her mind that nagged at her. That told her to be on watch, but her mind was much too tired today to worry about it right now. Instead, for the rest of the day, she would just let the thought of Clarke being safe and alive keep her going. Keep her strong.And when laughs turned into innocent kisses which soon turned heated, Clarke was pushing her back and eyeing her playfully.“As much as I love being in this position with you I still have pictures to work on and you have to get back to work.”With a squeal, Clarke was pulled flush against her body, center once more meeting the fabric of her pants.“Fuck work. It can wait. I’m sure Anya doesn’t expect me to come back anytime soon. Besides, I’m the boss. I can leave when I want,” Lexa replied as she pulled her jacket and shirt off her frame in one swift motion.Clarke’s pupils became blown once again as her eyes raked over Lexa’s body, thighs clenching around her hips as she came to her abs. Lexa wasted no time in attacking Clarke’s neck with her lips, knowing it was the perfect spot to get her riled up as fast as possible since it was a sensitive spot for her. To her surprise the blonde was quick to push her away before hopping down from her perch and pushing her down into the leather chair behind her. Clarke straddled her hips, a smirk on her face, and Lexa locked her hands to her hips to make sure she wouldn’t fall.“You know,” Clarke said as she skimmed heated breathes along Lexa’s jawline,“You could’ve at least brought some food with you since you plan on ravishing me for as long as possible. I’m going to need all the extra energy I can get.”Lexa rolled her eyes playfully before shifting her hands down to Clarke’s ass and squeezing roughly, making her ground her hips down with a deep moan.“I think I’m a little hungry for something more than food,” Lexa purred against her ear before pulling the lob gently between her teeth.The blonde’s head lolled back and she couldn’t stop the gasp or involuntary buck of her hips at the action.“Well our kid wants blue berries. No blue berries. No sex.”A perfect brow quirked in challenge. Lexa was swift in maneuvering her hand between them and giving a long stroke through Clarke’s soaked folds and circling around her clit. Clarke shuddered against her and wrapped her arms tighter around her neck for support, hips undulating and begging for her to continue.“You were sa-.”“If you finish that sentence and don’t keep doing that then you really won’t be getting anything,” Clarke growled.Lexa shook her head and laughed before continuing her ministrations against her wife’s center. Before long Clarke was withering away on top of her. Lips begging and sloppily meeting skin as she moved against her fingers. Lexa allowed this moment to fill her memory. To remember Clarke’s flushed cheeks, the way her fingers tangled in her baby hairs and pulled her close. How her eyes held her’s as she was pushed over the brink. The body racking gasp that stole her breath as her hips bucked against her again and again. How after she came down from her high she could feel that flutter in her belly against her own flat stomach.She committed everything to memory and urged away the vile ones filled with blood and horrid sounds.This was what she wanted to see in her dreams. Clarke wrapped around her, cheeks rosy, lips swollen, and chest heaving.Blue eyes filled with happiness and love -adoration.Not the lifeless ones that would hopefully no longer haunt her in her sleep."I love you, too, Clarke," Lexa finally whispered against the skin of her shoulder. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Two months later… It happened faster than she ever thought it would. The familiar sounds of tires squealing and glass shattering. The feel of the shards cutting into her skin. The airbag deploying in front of her. Metal twisting and crunching as the car rolled once, twice, before landing with a heavy jerk. Smoke from the destroyed engine filled her lungs and sent her into a coughing fit. Her vision hazy and bloody as she tried to keep her eyes open. No. This isn’t happening. Lexa’s body reacted with a jolt, groaning as her rips protested at the movement but fought past it. Only one thing on her mind. One person. “Clarke?” Her head still swam as she shifted her gaze to the passenger side, the shattered windshield catching her attention for a split second. The brunette could see the hood of their car bunched up and jagged, pieces missing and torn apart. But she didn’t let it concern her for long, instead going back to the only thing that mattered. “Clarke?” Lexa repeated, a little louder. And when her eyes finally landed on her wife, Lexa knew that her vision had been something more. Had been a warning. Her heart broke at the sight before her. No longer able to beat regularly as she choked on smoky air. Green eyes stung and watered and Lexa wondered if that too was from the smoke or Clarke. “No, no, no. You’re not going to do this,” Lexa sobbed out as she removed her seatbelt,“I’m not going to let you go like this.” Elegant blonde curls were matted with blood and Lexa could almost taste the metallic smell that lingered around them. Clarke’s head was lulled to the side, eyes closed and unresponsive, hands limp beside her belly. And that’s when Lexa’s eyes caught the rest of the signs from her visions, her nightmares. A wilted white rose lay in her lap, a slow dribble of blood dropping against it’s smooth petals and staining it red. Lexa’s heart stopped altogether when she saw where the blood was coming from. A piece of shrapnel shallowly embedded in her lower stomach. Lexa felt her world crashing down around her. Earlier that day… “Clarke! Have you seen my suit jacket?” Lexa called out as she picked up a stray article of clothing laying on their bed, huffing when it wasn’t what she was looking for.A head of blonde curls peeked out from the bathroom door and Clarke chuckled lightly at her wife’s agitated expression.“It’s in the closet. I steamed it to make sure all the wrinkles were out.”Lexa’s shoulders dropped in relief at the information but she quickly straightened up when Clarke rolled her eyes and disappeared back into the bathroom. Already in fitted suit pants and a simple button down the brunette followed her wife inside the well lit room. Clarke was leaning over the built in vanity applying a light coat of lipstick before checking over her hair one last time. Lexa made her way up to her, eyes raking down the expanse of her back and down to her panty covered ass.“Eyes up, Woods,” Clarke called.Green met blue through the mirror and Lexa blushed slightly when she noticed the smirk on Clarke’s face. Deciding to be a little daring, she closed the remaining distance between them and wrapped her arms around her wife’s expanded belly. Blonde curls slid over her shoulder as Clarke’s head fell back with a content sigh as Lexa began rubbing her tummy. As if sensing it’s other mother’s presence, the baby gave a strong kick which caused the couple to smile brightly.“She knows when you’re here,” Clarke whispered,“She always seems to start kicking right before you come home from work.”Lexa smiled,“Yes, he does, doesn’t he?”“I’m not having this discussion with you again,” Clarke murmured.The brunette chuckled as she dropped a kiss to her wife’s neck. They had been back and forth the past two months arguing about the baby’s gender. Lexa was pretty sure that Clarke had a bet going with all of their friends to try and prove her wrong.“We’ll save it for later then.”Lexa removed herself from the blonde and walked towards the closet in search of her suit jacket. She could hear Clarke groan as she pulled the fabric over her shoulders and fastened the single button.“Tell me again why we’re going to this event and not just staying home?”She reappeared from the closet to see Clarke stepping into her dress and beginning to pull it up her body. Lexa quickly ran over and helped her move the fabric over her body, careful to make sure her legs didn’t get trapped lest she trip. With a huff, Clarke finally pushed her arms through the short sleeves and turned to peek over her shoulder at her wife.“Zip me up?”Lexa shook her head as she pulled the zipper all the way up until it rested just below the base of the blonde’s neck. She pressed a gentle kiss there before reaching over to grab Clarke’s shoes from the bathroom counter and bending down to her her situate her feet inside.“We’re going because it’s a charity event hosted by my company. I don’t know if investors would be very pleased if the company’s own CEO and family didn’t attend,” Lexa said with a smirk.Clarke grumbled above her. Something along the lines of ‘stupid investors’ working it’s way into her ears. Lexa laughed as she secured the little strap around the blonde’s ankle, noticing their slight swell, and stood up, slowly dragging her fingertips up her calf as she went.“Are you sure you’ll be comfortable wearing heels all night?”“I’ll be fine,” Clarke stated with a light bite to her lips at the feeling,“I’ve got backup’s in the car if anything.”Lexa smirked softly,“Good. Don’t want you to sit at a table all alone and miss being able to schmooze all the investors. They absolutely fawn over you whenever someone brings you up and they will tonight.”The blonde rolled her eyes, clearly not at all enthused about the potential chats with the many older men.“Why do they fawn over me?” Clarke whined.“Because you’re you, Clarke,” The brunette said as she pulled her into her arms,“Everyone at the office fawns over you. Not just investors. Besides, you are carrying my heir.”Clarke eyed her with a dark playfulness,“You’re heir? What happened to our?The CEO bumped her nose against Clarke’s playfully before letting her eyes settle on her’s.“Our heir. Our Little Bean,” Lexa whispered lovingly.Her hands caressed the large swell of her wife’s belly, still somewhat unable to process that two more months had already passed since the beginning of her nightmares. They had eased up enough for them not to consume her like they had in the beginning thanks to sessions with Dr. Williams and opening more and more with Clarke and her friends. Each day made them better. Things were finally falling back into place between her friends and family…well as much as they could with most of her memory still locked away.Everyone respected her feelings more than in the beginning. They respected that she wasn’t the exact Lexa from before the accident, though there were only subtle differences, and learned to not force anything on her that she wasn’t comfortable with. Anya was a more supportive figure in her life than before. Having her sisters back in many arguments, whether playful or serious, and also being there for her more. Sparing sessions every Sunday morning filled with talks about their week and a bunch of random things that neither remembered after knocking each other down to the mats.Lexa’s life was finally becoming whole again, even with the missing memories.But there was something wrong.Something she could see in Clarke’s eyes and had accidentally seen on a few occasions.There was more than once when Lexa had returned home from work to find Clarke sitting on the couch or lounging in their bed staring at old pictures of them. One time listening in on one of the blonde’s phone conversations that was surprisingly with, of all people, her mother. Lexa stepped through the front door, finally shedding her jacket after a long day at work. She was ready to find her wife, strip, and jump into a warm bath before heading off to bed and driving off into the night. “Clarke?” The brunette called out into the silent home. With a crinkled brow Lexa made her way towards the living room, ear trained for any sound of where Clarke might be. As she grew closer to the threshold of the living room she could hear her wife’s voice grow in volume. It wasn’t until Lexa was leaning against the wall outside the archway that she could clearly hear Clarke. “I know I’m being selfish, mom, but I just…I want her to remember.” Green eyes widened as she couldn’t help but peer around the corner and stare at the back of Clarke’s head, just barely able to see corner of a photo album around her blonde curls. “I don’t want to change who she’s become now, albeit she’s not totally different, but…I want her to remember. I want her to remember marrying me. The carnival we went to during our last semester of college. Our honeymoon,” Clarke whispered brokenly,“Is that really selfish of me to want?” Lexa shook her own head, wanting so badly to tell Clarke, ‘No, I want that as well. More than anything. I want to remember us completely,’ but she stayed locked in place. “I get that but I don’t want her to feel like I’m forcing her to be her old self. The one she doesn’t remember. I know if the roles were reversed she wouldn't force it on me,” Clarke said, a few tears streaming down her face as a moment of silence passed,“You know, never mind. Thanks for listening mom. I’ll be sure to send you a copy of the ultrasound as soon as we get it.” Clarke apparently didn’t wait for a response by how fast she ended the call and tossed it to the other side of the couch. Lexa backed away from the corner, back completely flush against the wall once again as she searched the floor under her feet, as if she would find the answer to how to deal with this new problem laying there. When nothing spurred in her mind the brunette thought the best course of action would be to wait for Clarke to come to her. Wait for her to be ready. Mind made up, the brunette steeled herself as she waited a few moments before pushing off the wall and greeting Clarke with a warm welcome. Showering hugs and kisses to both her wife and their child and hoping that somehow Clarke could read her mind and just talk to her already. Lexa knows that if she would have made her presence known that day that she wouldn’t see the lingering sadness whenever she looked at her. She wanted to bring it up so many a times but felt that it would ruin the happiness that they had built…if it was even real happiness. In a way, it was. To finally be fully together. Talking things out, going on weekly dates, working on things for the baby. It felt…normal. Like she was meant to do it all along, despite her accident and missing memories.A light tap to her face had her jumping in her spot.“Hey,” Clarke laughed,“Where’d you go just now?” Lexa laughed it off and shook her head,“No where. Just thinking about how beautiful you look in this dress.”The dress was breathtaking. A beautiful blush colored evening gown with a lace bodice with intricate eyelash edging, a long silk skirt beautifully draped down a rounded bell. Clarke never looked more beautiful. Simply glowing as any soon-to-be-mother should be.“I guess I’ll have to thank Octavia for picking it out. I couldn’t make up my mind between this one or the red one.”The CEO growled softly, pulling Clarke back into her chest as much as she could.“The red shows too much skin and it’s too cold. This keeps you covered more,” Lexa spoke as she trailed a finger down a lace covered collarbone.Clarke smirked,“Well, it’s a good thing I ended up wearing this one then, isn’t it? Can’t have anyone but you seeing all of m—.”Lexa couldn’t wait any longer. Pressing her lips up against Clarke’s urgently like she needed her to breathe. It was the same urgency that she’s had for the past two months. It was never ending to her. Being able to feel Clarke under her, against her, and know that she was there. Lexa had mostly overcome her fears of her nightmares but it made everything better to just have Clarke here —with her, in her arms. It made it more real.Just when she was ready to trail a hot line down her wife’s throat, slowly gathering the silk skirt in her hands, Clarke pushed against her chest. Lexa moved back with a short whine and couldn’t help but feel a little smug at how breathless she made the blonde.“Don’t start something you can’t finish,” Clarke rasped,“Anya will be ringing you at any second to make sure we are leaving. She’ll have both of our asses if we’re late because you couldn’t keep your hands off me. And as much as I would love to keep this going I really don’t feel like listening to her all night.”Lexa huffed dejectedly.“Fine. But as soon as we get home,” The CEO let her hands slide down to Clarke’s ass and give a little squeeze while nipping lightly at her jaw,“You’re all mine.”The blonde’s head fell back, a moan escaping her throat at the feel of Lexa’s teeth grazing her jaw. “Your’s.” The ride to the event venue was a lot more fun than Lexa thought it would be. She pictured Clarke huffing like a child in the front seat already stating that she was ready to be home but instead got a very excited Clarke. A complete opposite of the woman that was getting ready in their bathroom earlier. She asked questions like ‘who would be there’ or ‘what charity are you supporting again?’ or ‘what kind of food are they serving? I hope there’s red velvet cake’.Lexa couldn’t stop her chuckles at the last question.Just before they pulled to the front of the venue Lexa reached a hand across to rest over Clarke’s belly, the blonde still adamantly chatting away because it was normal for her to do such a thing while driving. A strong kick was delivered to her hand, just in the same moment as a flashing image of a bloodied hand passed through her mind. Her bloodied hand. She shook it away deciding not to let the images and flashes get to her tonight. Lexa was determined to have a nice night with her wife and friends while helping raise money for a good cause.The brunette pulled the car to a stop just outside the lavish venue. Paparazzi swarmed on either side of a long red carpet outside the passenger side of the car, desperately waiting to get a picture of the next high profile couple to appear. Lexa sent a quick glance to Clarke as the valet attendant moved around to open her door. The blonde gave her a reassuring nod, letting her know that she was ready.A few weeks back Lexa had finally gave into doing an interview for a few magazines and online articles to put a stop to all the gossip and rumors involving Costia. Lexa had made it quite clear that, despite her previously hanging out with her ex lover and her lost memories, she still very much loved Clarke. She even went as far as to announce that she hadn’t seen Costia for months, not since Clarke’s appendix scare to be exact. The reporters had a field day with her but most were kind and understanding. Especially when she spoke of her missing memories and how they took a tole on her in the beginning and just how she was working through it all day by day.In the end, most rumors were put to rest. There were still the few sleazy websites or gossip magazines that still tried to turn her statements into something they weren’t but her lawyers were quick to put a stop to them as fast as legally possible. All in all, the gossip side of things had settled way down and now most of anything of her in the news was either her closing a new business deal or getting prepared to welcome their newborn.A light squeeze to her hand had Lexa moving out of the car and over to Clarke’s door. The camera lights flashed behind her, bounced off the black exterior of the car. She could just see and hear hints of her accident as she opened Clarke’s door. It felt like it would consume her unit she felt a warm hand slide into her own and one resting on her cheek. The wild forest of her eyes met with vast ocean orbs and Clarke smiled at her brightly.“I’m right here with you.”Lexa took a deep breath and helped her wife from the car,“Let’s do this.”Once they were fully out of the car and finally making their way towards the entrance of the venue the paparazzi swarmed them. The sounds of shutters filled the cold evening air, bright flashes bounced off their forms and question and after question was thrown at them. They posed for a few minutes much to the delight of everyone around them. Lexa found that she couldn’t take her hand off of Clarke’s stomach no matter how hard she tried. It was like it was there to protect their Little Bean from any potential harm. The reporters and cameramen cooed at them as they kept walking and Lexa made sure that Clarke didn’t trip on the skirt of her dress, going so far as to hold it up a bit as she stepped through the threshold of the entrance.“Well,” Clarke stated with a huff as hired doormen helped them from their coats,“That wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be. They were pretty reasonable with the questions. I don’t think I heard Costia’s name at all.”Lexa giggled with a shake of her head. She knew that Clarke wasn’t bitter towards Costia. Clarke could never really hate anyone and there was no way that she could hate Costia after what she had told Lexa. The blonde made it better by joking about it and Lexa figured it was her way of coping and not making things awkward.“No, it wasn’t. I may not remember going to any other events but my mind half expected it to be much worse than it was. I’m glad I was wrong,” Lexa stated as she began moving them towards the main room that would be used to host the charity event.“Me too,” Clarke said with a smile,“Now let’s go find Anya before she thinks we’re late.They crossed over to a vast room filled with men, women, and a few children. The ceiling was high, exposed beams strung with warm glowing lights. Tables lined with sides of the room surrounding a large dance floor with a stage just to the opposite wall of the entrance where a live band played softly. Men in suits lingered together around the tables, shaking hands and clinking glasses of scotch in greeting.Lexa caught a break in the crowd just to the right of the stage and saw Anya along with the rest of their friends all huddled together and chatting happily. To her surprise Abby sat among them, talking quietly with Octavia and Raven, which had Lexa stopping short for a moment. She was sure that the two friends were still a little upset with Abby, even after the little talk that they had during Abby’s last visit. They had settled their feelings but had expressed to Clarke’s mother that they were, and quote, ‘watching her every move and had a lot of shit to make up for’.“I invited mom,” Clarke whispered as they made their way towards the rowdy bunch,“I thought it would do some good to come to an event and just hang out with everyone. Get a little more comfortable around each other.”“Well it seems to be working. I’m really surprised that Octavia and Raven are talking to her and not glaring daggers at her instead,” Lexa chuckled.Clarke pat the arm that she was wrapped around with a laugh,“Trust me, it’s all an act. They are just waiting for her to slip up. One wrong word or move and they’ll tear her apart.”“You make them sound like viscous tigers or something, waiting for their prey to fall into their trap.”“That’s exactly what they are,” Clarke winked,“But I’ll make sure they’re on their best behavior. Can’t have investors thinking we run a wild pack.”The CEO laughed and pressed a quick kiss to her wife’s temple as they finally reached their friends. Everyone stood from the table and went around with greetings, everyone having to touch Clarke’s stomach at least once. As they took their seats a waiter walked up to their table and Lexa was quick to order two nonalcoholic drinks for the both of them. While they waited, Anya went over a small list of investors that Lexa needed to charm in order to pull them in for future business deals. Clarke talked contently with her friends and mother about Little Bean and other random little things.Once drinks were served, they talked for a few more minutes as more guests started to arrive. Soon, Lexa announced that they needed to start making their way around to greet the guests and investors. Clarke took a final sip her drink before being lead away by her wife towards a ground of older men and a few women. Families walked all around them, participating in a few of the games that the event hosted as well as visiting the long dessert bar in the far corner of the grand room.Lexa was quick to introduce them to the group of men and women, each one fawning over Clarke and her belly just as Lexa stated they would. Conversation was surprisingly easy with everyone and Lexa found herself falling into a joyful conversation surrounding the topic of their charity. The investors were easy, eating out of the palm of her hand in minutes and Lexa felt it had something to do with the bright smile and glow that surrounded the woman standing next to her.Clarke was smiling and laughing away with a few of the men and their wives, falling into easy conversation and keeping it going without any awkward pauses. That’s when the brunette realized that her wife would never need to schmooze anyone. Just her smile alone was enough to pull even the hardest investor and that was simply proven by the older man that stood in front of the blonde laughing away.Abe Harris was a high profile investor, someone Lexa had apparently been trying to impress since before her accident if Anya’s information was anything to go by. And here he was, laughing and joking around with her pregnant wife while she stood watching. It took her a few moments to realize that they had both turned to her and she quickly snapped away from her thoughts.“I’m sorry. What was that?”Abe chuckled softly and offered his hand out to shake and Lexa took it swiftly.“You’re wife is absolutely lovely Mrs. Woods. She’s told me a lot about your company and the greet things you’ve done. I’d like to schedule a meeting with you and see about maybe a possible partnership…if you’re interested?”If she was interested? Of course she was! Harris Inc was just the company she needed to be able to branch out and start an international business.“Of course, Mr. Harris. I’ll have my assistant call your’s in the morning to set one up.”“Perfect. I’ll be seeing you here soon then. It was nice talking to both of you.”They exchanged quick goodbyes and Harris made his way towards his table where his family sat. Lexa felt her increased heart rate calm down as she turned to Clarke with wide eyes.“I don’t know what you did but I love you,” Lexa stated, winded.Clarke laughed loudly, carefully fixing the brunette’s suit jacket and smoothing out a few creases.“I didn’t do anything really. He asked about your company, I gave him the information, talked about his family and our family for a minute and then he suddenly wants a partnership with you. That’s it.”Words died in her throat and all Lexa could do was pull Clarke close and cover her mouth with a kiss. A soft moan floated through the kiss as the blonde clung to her, teeth nipping at her bottom lip with need. After a few heated moments Clarke pulled away with a gasp and Lexa quickly buried her face in her neck, hiding her smile from her.“Anymore of that and I would have been dragging you to the bathroom with me,” Clarke chuckled causing Lexa to hold tighter,“Seriously though. Our child has been pressing on my bladder for the past two hours and I really need to go or there’s going to be a mess on the floor.”Lexa quickly pulled away from the blonde,“Want me to come with?”“No, thanks. If you come with me we won’t be leaving the bathroom for at least twenty minutes.”Lexa stepped back into her space and eyed her hungrily.“You really think I can’t make you come in less than twenty minutes?”The photographer bopped her nose teasingly,“No. I know you can. I, on the other hand, like to take my sweet time with you.”The CEO’s mouth hung open, eyes glazed, as Clarke pulled away and began making her way towards the bathroom, hips moving with a little more sway than normal. Once her wife disappearing down the hallway Lexa pulled herself back together, pulling at the neck of her button up as a sudden heat flashed through her body. Deciding to take a little break from talking with business men, she walked over the the dessert table and scooped up a few chocolate covered strawberries onto a plate along with a few blue berries because she knew Clarke still craved them.Just as she was turning to go back to the table Lexa nearly crashed into a person passing right behind her. Small hands steadied her arms and she was thankful that she didn’t drop anything or get chocolate all over her suit.“I’m sorry. I should have been watching where I was going,” Lexa said before looking up and her eyes widened,“Costia…what are you doing here?”Mocha colored eyes widened slightly as she met Lexa’s gaze.“Uh, a…a friend invited me. I didn’t know you’d be here.”“My company is hosting the event,” Lexa drawled out slowly.They stood there for a moment, the awkward silence filling the space between them and making it feel suffocating in the large space.“I’ll, uh,” Costia stammered,“I’ll just leave.”“Wait,”Lexa reached out and caught her arm,“I don’t want us to act like we can’t be friends, Costia. I know what you did was for me and I appreciate that even though I still don’t completely get it, but that’s besides the point. You helped me when I needed it most. I’m not going to pretend like you didn’t.”“But you’re friends, Clarke….I’m sure they wouldn't be too thrilled for me to be apart of your life even if it is as just friends.”“Well, if they aren’t then they aren’t my friends. I’ve explained to them that you helped me when I needed it when they didn’t. And Clarke…I know she isn’t mad at you. I think she just needs to talk to you and work out a few things first.”Costia peered down to the floor, feeling shuffling just under her dress.“If she wants, I would like to talk to her too. Explain everything and maybe make amends with her.”Lexa smiled,“I think she’d like that. Everyone else though may take a little longer.”“That’s fine,” Costia whispered as she looked up and met Lexa’s eyes.“Okay, well Clarke’s in the bathroom right now so I’ll talk to her an—.”“What the hell are you doing here?!”Both Lexa and Costia instantly reacted to the booming voice of Clarke coming from just outside the grand room’s entrance. The CEO dropped her plate to the table and ran towards the sound of her wife wondering just who had pissed her off enough to cause a scene. By time she made it out the room a small crowd as already making it’s way towards the noice.Lexa looked on in confusion as she noticed Clarke standing in front of a shaggy brown haired man dressed in a suit. The man looked a little confused but also frightened as Clarke stalked towards him on angry heels. The brunette reached her in just enough time before her wife could back him fully into the wall behind him.“Clarke, what’s going on?” Lexa asked as she gently pulled her back.“He’s what’s going on! He’s the one that caused your accident and he has the audacity to show his face at your company’s event!”Lexa’s heart stammered for a minute, finally able to understand why Clarke was so upset. Despite her wife’s protests Lexa had decided not to pursue the driver that caused her accident, even though he still ended up going to court anyway. At the time, she hadn’t cared about pressing chargers or anything because she had woken up confused and not who she was two hours ago. Going into a court room to see the man’s sentence was the las thing on her mind at the time.“What I want to know is how you even got in here in the first place!” Clarke huffed out angrily as Lexa continued to hold her back.“He’s with me.”Both women turned to the right to see Costia walking towards them to stand at the man’s side.“C-Costia?” Clarke asked, her voice just a tad lower.By this time, Lexa could see Anya, thankfully, ushering everyone away from them to give them as much privacy as possible.“Who is he to you, Costia?” Lexa asked as she turned her attention back to the two in front of her.Costia’s eyes flittered back and forth between her and Clarke before meeting the man’s gaze and taking his hand in her’s.“He’s my husband.”Lexa reeled for a moment, completely thrown off course. The world was much to small right now.Clarke said nothing, probably just as stunned as she was and Lexa worried for a split second on how much stress she was probably feeling right now. She needed to get this over with and calm her down as soon as possible.“Your husband?” Clarke whispered.Costia nodded her head slowly,“Yes. We’ve been married for four years now. The, uh, the night of the accident we had a really bad fight. Matt had been drinking and he left before I could stop him.”The story was quick and to the point. Sharp. Lexa felt herself getting flung further and further into the haze of confusion.“You didn’t find out through the news…,” Lexa murmured with realization,“You were at the hospital that night.”Obviously catching the tone in her voice Clarke looked at her in confusion. So much confusion.“What do you mean, Lex?”Lexa searched for her words,“I didn’t think to tell anyone because I thought it was just a dream but when I was in the hospital room that night, right after you left, I saw…I saw Costia. She said that she was sorry and at that time I didn’t really know what it meant but now…”Everyone turned towards Costia who’s head was downcast.“You were really there that night, weren’t you?” Lexa asked.“Yes,” Costia nodded,“When I heard your name from the police officer I couldn’t help but think it was partially my fault. Even more so when I overheard the doctor talking about memory loss. If I hadn’t started arguing with Matt then he wouldn’t have been driving drunk and you wouldn’t have been in an accident.”“But, that night, I ran into you outside the liquor store…?”Matt shuffled next to Costia,“She was looking for me. It’s the one I always stop at to get our favorite vodka for special occasions.”Everything that didn’t seem like it needed to fall into place was. Little bits and pieces were being set into place and finally shedding light for Lexa.“You didn’t want to meet her just because of what happened back in college. You thought doing what you did would help make up for the accident too…didn’t you?” Clarke whispered.“I didn’t want forgiveness if that’s what you’re asking. I wanted to help. I know that it was kind of twisted, the way I did it, but like I told Lexa, I thought her being around me would make her realize that it’s not me she was in love with,” Costia explained,“To be honest…I didn’t really think there was any love between us before I cheated.”“What?” Lexa asked, a little shocked.“It’s not that you weren’t caring, Lexa, because you were. So much. But I know there wasn’t love there, I could feel it. You loved me but you didn’t love me. You cared for me. I guess my younger self just acted out of spite because I didn’t want to believe that you had fallen out of love with me and just did the first stupid thing I could think of. Which, at the time, was sleeping with the first guy I found. I felt horrible for what I said afterwards, but I just…I don’t know. In the end, I just wanted to try and help make up for all the shit I’d put you through. I didn’t want forgiveness or anything. I just wanted you to be happy because, even though I hurt you in an unimaginable way, I still cared for you.”And Lexa could hear the sincerity in her voice, could see it in the tears that had gathered in her eyes. But she wasn’t sure she could fully wrap her head around everything she had just been told. At least not in the span of the next few minutes. And just before she could let everything settle into her mind, she was thrown another curveball.Clarke moved swiftly, surprisingly too fast for Lexa to stop even with her pregnant belly slowing her down slightly. Lexa tried to cry out as the blonde reached her but it only died on her tongue as Clarke pulled the woman into as best of a hug as she could manage. The brunette could hear Costia’s breathing stutter and almost stop all together before her arms were wrapping around her wife and dropping her head into her shoulder. They stayed there for a few moments, rubbing backs and letting a few tears fall before Clarke pulled away.“I know there’s a lot more we need to talk about but…,”The blonde looked back at Lexa before turning back to Costia,“If she can forgive you then I can. You helped her when she needed it. I know that you’re not in love with each other but you still care for one another. I don’t want to keep someone like you out of her life. She deserves a friend like you.”Costia gave her a watery smile, nodding slowly as she listened. With an almost motherly hand, Clarke brushed a tear away from Costia’s cheek before turning to Matt.“You, on the other hand, I’m still having a bit of trouble with. I just need some time. I can see that you’re sorry for what you did —that you didn’t mean for it to happen. It was a stupid mistake but we all make some of those once in a while, right?” Matt nodded silently and Lexa could just see the anguish pouring from his features,“Just give me some time and I’d like to talk with both of you again when I’m ready.”Costia and Matt nodded quietly as Clarke moved back into her arms.“I think I need to go home,” Clarke said to Lexa,“I’m not feeling too good.”“Okay,” Lexa whispered with a quick kiss to her forehead,“Little Bean okay in there?”“Yes. Just tired and a little nausea. Nothing to worry about.”Lexa turned back to the other couple, both watching them carefully.“I guess we’ll let you know when we’re ready to talk.”“Of course,” Costia nodded,“I’m sorry we ruined your night.”“Well,” Clarke started with an air of teasing,“I’m leaving earlier than planned so it’s not quite ruined.”Everyone laughed lightly and Lexa pulled her closer by her hip to whisper in her ear.“If I’d known any better I’d say you planned this.”“Please,” Clarke waved her off,“All I would have had to do was give you two seconds of puppy dog eyes and you would have carried me out of here without a second thought.”Lexa rolled her eyes,“Right. Well, enough of that. Let’s get you home. I want to grab your mother first to follow us. Ask her to give you a little check up to make sure you don’t have elevated blood pressure or anything else we need to worry about.”“Okay. Goodbye Costia, Matt. I’ll text you or call another day. I’m fully set on talking to you more later, just tonight…I don’t think I can handle anymore.”“Clarke,” Matt called out before they turned around, holding out a single white rose to her,“I’m sorry. For everything.”Clarke slowly accepted the rose with a small smile and Lexa didn’t pay attention to just what she was really holding.Everyone said their goodbyes, albeit a little bit more awkwardly than before. Lexa was surprised how much had come out in the open, how much they had to talk about, and how easily it had been for Clarke to come mostly to terms with it…Costia at least. Pushing it aside for the time being Lexa moved them back into the grand room and spoke with Anya about covering for her and taking her place before grabbing Abby, after a quick explanation, and talking their leave.The car was mostly quiet besides the soft tune of the radio playing in the background. Clarke sat in the passenger seat, both hands resting on her tummy and rubbing soft circles.“I can’t believe that all happened,” Clarke whispered.The brunette hummed in agreement, eyes flittering back and forth from the road to her wife, knowing that she didn’t want to talk about that anymore.“Clarke…?”The blonde rolled her head against the headrest to face her,“Yeah, Lex?”Now felt like the best time.“A while ago…I overheard a conversation you had on the phone with your mother,” She could hear Clarke’s voice hitch,“You were upset about wanting me to remember and feeling selfish for doing so. I know all this has happened and it’s giving you a lot to think about but I just want you to know that…I want to. Remember that is. And even though I don’t want to change the person that losing my memories has made me I’d still like to remember everything about us. Because in the end…I love you and that’s all that matters.”Lexa met her gaze quickly and could see the tears shinning in her eyes before turning her gaze back to the road. Clarke sniffled a few times and wiped at her face before laughing.“Stupid pregnancy hormones. Stop making me cry, Lexa,” Clarke whispered,“And I love you, too. We both do.”The brunette smiled happily and reached a familiar hand over to Clarke’s belly. Her heart jumped impossibly faster when she felt the strong movement there.“I told you she knows when you’re around or when you’re touching her. She was completely still until you touched me.”“Because I’m her favorite mother,” Lexa teased, carefully looking at the headlights on the opposite side of the road.“Yeah, okay. I’m the one that’s carrie her for almost nine months. I should be her fav—Look out!”It happened faster than she ever thought it would.The familiar sounds of tires squealing and glass shattering. The feel of the shards cutting into her skin. The airbag deploying in front of her. Metal twisting and crunching as the car rolled once, twice, before landing with a heavy jerk. Smoke from the destroyed engine filled her lungs and sent her into a coughing fit. Her vision hazy and bloody as she tried to keep her eyes open.No. This isn’t happening. Lexa’s body reacted with a jolt, groaning as her rips protested at the movement but fought past it. Only one thing on her mind. One person.“Clarke?”Her head still swam as she shifted her gaze to the passenger side, the shattered windshield catching her attention for a split second. The brunette could see the hood of their car bunched up and jagged, pieces missing and torn apart. But she didn’t let it concern her for long, instead going back to the only thing that mattered.“Clarke?” Lexa repeated, a little louder.And when her eyes finally landed on her wife, Lexa knew that her vision had been something more. Had been a warning. Her heart broke at the sight before her. No longer able to beat regularly as she choked on smoky air. Green eyes stung and watered and Lexa wondered if that too was from the smoke or Clarke.“No, no, no. You’re not going to do this,” Lexa sobbed out as she removed her seatbelt,“I’m not going to let you go like this.”Elegant blonde curls were matted with blood and Lexa could almost taste the metallic smell that lingered around them. Clarke’s head was lulled to the side, eyes closed and unresponsive, hands limp beside her belly. And that’s when Lexa’s eyes caught the rest of the signs from her visions, her nightmares. A wilted white rose lay in her lap, a slow dribble of blood dropping against it’s smooth petals and staining it red. Lexa’s heart stopped altogether when she saw where the blood was coming from.A piece of shrapnel shallowly embedded in her lower stomach.Lexa felt her world crashing down around her.“Oh, god,” The brunette panicked,“Okay, okay. Just breathe, Lexa. You need to stay calm for Clarke.”A sharp stab of pain entered the side of her skull causing a sudden blindness to take over her. “You’ll catch a cold if you stay out in this rain much longer.” Wet green eyes peered up and was met by equally wet ocean eyes. They pulled her in, held her tightly and Lexa knew there was something about this girl before her. Something that she was meant to be apart of. But she stayed silent. “Are you okay? You shouldn’t be out in the rain like this,” The blonde said, placing her camera down and pulling off her jacket and draping it over her shoulders. “I can’t take this. You’ll get soaked,” Lexa protested. The girl smiled softly, warmth dancing in her eyes and warming Lexa to her very core,“I think you could use it more than me right now.” “Clarke! Lexa! Oh my god! Call an ambulance! Now!”It took Lexa a few seconds to slowly come out of the pain only to recognize Abby’s voice. She’d forgotten that she had the blonde’s mother follow them, thankful now more than ever that she had.“Clarke! Can you hear me? Lexa?” Abby called, the sound of glass crunching under her feet as she ran up to the car.“Abby!” Lexa cried out,“I’m fine but Clarke needs help!”Abby appeared at the shattered passenger window, eyes widening in horror at her daughter’s state. She leaned over the window edge, careful of the glass, to examine the shrapnel in Clarke’s stomach closely while taking in a few key details.“Dammit. She’s hemorrhaging. The placenta must have detached. The baby could be in distress.”Lexa’s heart and body stopped at the sight of blood on the lower part of Clarke’s dress. She also noticed the airbag in front of the blonde which was a little too close for Lexa’s comfort.“Abby, the airbag.”“I know. It could have hit her and caused some damage. Right now, my main concern is how deep the shrapnel is and keeping her heart going,” Abby rushed as she felt along Clarke's neck before moving her gaze out the busted windshield to where a few people were beginning to gather,“Is the ambulance on it’s way?!”A few people nodded as they made their way over, trying to figure out how they could help. Time seemed to stop for Lexa. There really was nothing more they could do until the bus arrived. They had no supplies or anything to help Clarke.A deep groan next to her had Lexa moving in her seat. Sitting up and lightly grabbing at Clarke’s face to keep her head steady at Abby’s command.“L-Le-Lexa?” Clarke hissed, her hand trying to reach out to touch her painful stomach with a sharp cry, only to be stopped by her mother.The brunette’s heart broke as she listened to her wife cry out in pain.“I know, Clarke. I know it hurts but the ambulance is on it’s way. We’re gonna get you some help. Just keep talking to me, okay? Focus on me.”Glassy blue eyes met her’s and Lexa instantly became worried at the amount of fog that covered them.“I…I lo-ove you,” Clarke sighed with a bare minimum smile,“So m-much.”Once again, that white hot pain flashed across her mind. The blindness following quickly after. “I love you. So much.” Lexa grinned, her eyes drifting down to the woman sitting next to her, their eyes meeting and the distant sound of a shutter capturing the moment forever behind them. The sun set ahead of them. Beautiful hues of pinks and golds painting the sky and the surface of the ocean. Waves crashed, the sound of rolling water falling onto deaf ears as Lexa concentrated on nothing but Clarke next to her. “And I love you, my wife,” Lexa said with a gentle kiss. “Mh,” Clarke sighed,“Say it again.” The brunette toyed with the ring that rested on Clarke’s finger. “I love you, my wife,” Lexa said as she drawled every word out with a kiss. “Lex?”Lexa was thrown back into the silent chaos by Clarke’s soft question. She quickly saddled up as close as she could to her and ran her lips carefully over her cheek.“I love you, my wife,” Lexa whispered.By the dopey smile that covered Clarke’s face the brunette knew that she couldn’t comprehend the severity of her words. The fact that she was somehow remembering.“Lexa? Are you okay?” Abby called.The brunette met her eyes for a split second before turning back to Clarke, her mind easing slightly as the sound of the sirens grew closer.“I’m fine. Please, just focus on Clarke.”“You’re bleeding.”“I’m fine,” Lexa ground out,“I’m moving and breathing. Focus on her.”A little begrudgingly, Abby turned her full attention back to her daughter, checking her pulse once more. Clarke’s eyes were heavy, barely open, from what Lexa could see and she prayed for her to stay awake just a little while longer.“It hurts,” Clarke groaned, the hand in Abby’s hold squeezing tightly and tugging, trying to get to her belly.“It’s going to be fine, Clarke,” Lexa whispered as the ambulance and a fire truck stopped a few feet away from the car,“They’re coming. We’re gonna get you out.”The brunette carefully placed her fingertips against Clarke’s belly away from her wound. She tried not to let her mind worry when she felt no movement. She needed to be strong for Clarke right now. She pulled her hand away...her bloodied hand and all those images rushed back to her from earlier today.A deafening sob escaped the blonde’s lips.“She didn’t move, Lexa. She always moves when you touch me. Why isn’t she moving? Wh…why?”Clarke’s words slowly died down, her eyes drooping almost completely closed.“Hey, no! Clarke stay awake! They’re right here! They’re going to help! Just keep your eyes open!”“I’m t-tired. Sh-she won’t move. I just w-want to sleep,” Clarke mumbled, her eyes falling shut despite Lexa’s cries.Abby suddenly reappeared, having ran towards the bus when it arrived, and Lexa could see the panic take over her face.“How long has she been out?”“Just now. I tried to keep her awake,” Lexa rushed.“She’s unconscious! We have to move now!” Abby commanded to the team of EMTs rushing towards the car,“Lexa you’re going to have to move.”Lexa was ready to protest. There was no way she was leaving Clarke.“Just for a minute. They need to get in, secure her, and get her out. Please. The faster we do this the faster she’s getting to the hospital.”With an aching heart, Lexa maneuvered her way safely out of the car with the help of a local fireman. He tried to check over her bleeding head but she was having none of it, determined to have her eyes on Clarke the entire time. She watched as they began attaching her neck brace and administering an IV drip. The rest was a foggy blur as her heart worried over the shrapnel sticking from Clarke’s stomach.After what seemed like hours, the blonde was safely in a stretcher, EMTs and her mother surrounding her as they wheeled her towards the bus. Abby began calling out all sorts of commands as they reached the vehicle and no one stopped her when she began grabbing supplies after lifting Clarke into the back. Lexa quickly hopped up inside with the help of one of the men and lethargically moved to the back where she was out of the way.She watched them work as they began moving. Her eyes trained on the blood beginning to surround Clarke. There were scratches along her face and arms from the shattered windows but those were the least of their concern. The shrapnel still protruded from her belly, glinting dangerously in the artificial light of the ambulance. When it seemed that they feel into a lull, where they had down all that they could in the back of a moving vehicle, Lexa moved forward.Lexa fell to her knees, hands reaching up and brushing away strands of limp blonde hair from a pale face and tucking them behind her ear.This time, she welcomed the sudden pain. Welcomed the darkness that come with it. Beams of moonlight shone through snowy white curtains. A warm body curled at her side, hands unconsciously brushing along her skin. Lexa sighed deeply, brushing away the edges of sleep from her mind as she took in the form laying half on top of her. Her fingertips were met with bare skin as she skimmed them down a slender spine. She smiled softly. Their first time together. A wonder-filled night of romance that quickly lead to passion once they returned home. The firs time she felt Clarke’s bare skin under her hands. Felt her tremble with need. Felt her back arch for her, pushing perky breasts into her mouth. The first time her name was whispered so sensually into her ear as Clarke tightened around her. How she seemed to try and continually draw her in as close as possible. A delicate hand rose to brush away a few stray strands of hair tickling the blonde face, tucking it safely behind her ear. The corner of her mouth tipped up as the blonde grumbled and slowly cracked an eye open. “Hey, beautiful,” Lexa whispered. Clarke sat up on one elbow, rubbing the sleep from her eyes,“Hey yourself. What time is it?” “Not sure,” Lexa shrugged. She didn't bother to try and find their phones, knowing that they were somewhere along with their clothes strewn all over the room. Thoughts of time were quickly swatted away as Clarke straddled her, arms wrapping around her neck, and grinding down softly. Teeth nipped at her jaw slowly working their way down the arch of her neck and biting at protruding collar bones. “Clarke,” Lexa husked. “Shh,” Clarke said as she moved the sheet away from her chest,“Just feel. Nothing else.” And as Clarke made her way down, her fingers brushed over blonde curls, unconsciously tucking her hair lovingly behind her ears once again. “Lexa! We’re here! We need to move. Her heart rate is decreasing along with the baby’s!”The brunette was shoved from the darkness, standing up in the process and becoming a bit dizzy. One EMT steadied her as the rest began pulling Clarke’s stretcher out the back and into the Emergency bay. Doctors and nurses quickly surrounded them once they got passed the entrance. Abby spewed out all sorts of medical terms that Lexa could barely keep up with, let alone pronounce.She ran along with them despite the pain in her body and head. She didn’t allow Clarke from her sights as the doctors and nurses burst through a set of heavy wooden doors a little ways ahead of her. A security officer standing outside the door grabbed her before she could make it safely through and she felt her heart shatter instantly when Clarke got a little too far away for her liking.“Let go of me! That’s my wife and child!” Lexa screamed as she fought against him, the pain no longer and issue at this point.The doctor talking with Abby must have heard because he reappeared from nowhere and laid a calm hand again the officer’s shoulder.“It’s okay. She’s allowed inside. She needs to be there for the birth of her child,” The doctor explained calmly, a hint of…something in his voice.The officer said nothing, instead nodding silently and letting her go before holding the door open for them. They rushed ahead, entering in the room that Lexa had barely seen them disappear into. Everyone scurried around like ants, pulling out different things and dressing in scrubs. Abby was fully suited, scrubbing her hands with haste and Lexa wondered just how Abby had gotten herself into the role of one of Clarke surgeons in the first place.Everything blurred as they moved. The seconds ticking by like hours as they prepared Clark as fast as humanly possible. Lexa barely registered a nurse helping her into a pair of clean scrubs and cap before helping wash her hands. She was in a near state of shock but she clung to that little sliver of control because she knew Clarke needed her now more than ever. She needed to be strong for her and Little Bean.Her world flipped and suddenly she was standing next to Clarke’s head, holding her limp hand as everyone stood around, waiting for Abby’s first move. The mother looked over her quickly, catching her gaze and smiling as light as possible behind her mask.“Are you ready to meet your child?”Lexa’s heart jumped, her head throbbing and flashing white hot, and she curled her fingers tighter around Clarke’s.“I can’t do this without her.”It was a prayer sent to both every person in the room and every god that existed. She needed Clarke and couldn’t do it without her. They were in it together. They needed each other. Lexa pulled Clarke closer, rocking slightly as she sobbed into her chest. The blonde clutched the little stick tightly to her chest as she sniffled. “It’s not fair. Why isn’t it working, Lexa? Is it me?” “No, babe,” Lexa soothed her,“It’s not you. When it happens, it happens. And when it does we’re in it together. Every little up and down…we’re together.” Clarke wiped one last tear from her eyes as she sat up in Lexa’s hold. Blue and green clashed and the blonde gave her the brightest smile she could muster. “We’ll raise a baby together. We’ll love her together. Teach her the world together,” Clarke said lovingly, cupping her cheek. “Together,” Lexa said with a soft kiss and a hopeful heart for their future.” “Together, Clarke,” Lexa whispered as the memory slowly faded,“We’ll do it together.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Lexa?” “Hmm?” “Can I ask you a question?” “You just did, Clarke.” “I’m serious. You don’t have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable though.” “Okay, go ahead.” “If you could choose to remember one thing…what would it be?” Green meets blue. “What it felt like the moment I fell in love with you…I want to know if it felt the same as this time.” A beautiful smile and a sweet kiss and Lexa knows that falling in love with Clarke, no matter how many times, would always feel truly magical. “Lexa?”Startled green eyes peered down into hazy blue. The very same from her little flash from months ago. A moment of peace in the awkward times between her and Clarke. One of her favorite little memories of them together.Lexa’s head snapped up, searching the crowded space around Clarke’s lower half before landing on Abby.“Abby, she’s awake.”With a scalpel in hand, the mother quickly looked up at her,“It’s okay. The anesthesia we gave her won’t keep her under. It’s just so she doesn’t feel any pain, although I’m surprised she’s awake with her injuries. Just keep talking to her and keep her calm as long as she’s awake.”She had to turn away as the scalpel was lowered to Clarke’s belly. Her stomach flipped and tightened all at once. Clarke’s blood had been all over her hands, clearly visible to her the entire time in the car, but she couldn’t bare to see it another second. Instead Lexa leaned back down and gripped Clarke’s hand tighter. Her lips finding purchase on the smooth skin right on the underside of her wrist where her pulse beat sluggishly.“BP’s 99 over 68 and dropping,” A nurse charted quickly.Lexa was far from being a doctor but she knew that anything under 90 over 60 was cause for worry. Especially for someone in Clarke’s current condition. But Lexa didn’t become fearful just yet. She knew her wife was strong and could make it through anything.“Come on, Clarke,” Lexa whispered as she brushed a fingertip over a pale cheek,“I know you can do this. You’re so strong.”A dopy smile was the last thing she saw before the pain in her head returned along with the blinding white light. “Come on, Clarke. You can do it.” “I don’t think I can, Lex. I never should have agreed to this.” Lexa laughed as she glanced over the cliff’s edge to see Clarke hanging on to the rock wall below. “You’re literally two feet away from being at the top. You can do it you stubborn ass. I don’t see how it’s taken you this long anyway.” “Says the monkey who climbed it in like five seconds,” Clarke huffed as she pulled herself up an inch further. “That’s it,” Lexa encouraged,“Only a little more.” Sweat dripped down brow as Clarke focused on her next move. One that would put her right below Lexa with just enough space to easily reach the top. Lexa waited with baited breathe, excitement coiling in her veins as she watched her girlfriend begin to take the last step. Clarke reached out, gripping at the rocky ledge just above her and successfully pulled herself up. But just as her foot found purchase on the little ledge where her hands had previously been seconds ago, she slipped. Her knee scrapping along the jagged surface below it causing Clarke to let out a yelp of pain. With quick reflexes Lexa was able to drop down on her stomach and grab ahold of the blonde’s hand before she was sent falling down the rocky cliff. Her heart beat wildly in her chest at the thought of her at the bottom, broken, and a relived puff left her lips as she felt her hand securely in her’s. “Let me go, Lexa.” “Are you crazy? You almost fell!” “I’ve got my grip now,” Clarke stated determinedly,“I promise I’ll be fine. Just let go and let me do this.” As much as she didn’t want to let go Lexa knew that Clarke would pout for days, maybe weeks, if she didn’t let her finish on her own. “Fine. But don’t come back and haunt my ass if you fall,” Lexa teased as she slowly let go. Clarke scoffed as she held on to the ledge,“As if I’d waste my time haunting your puny ass.” A smirk tugged at Lexa’s lips as the little jolt of exertion flowed through Clarke’s tone as she pulled herself up onto the top right in front of her. With great huffs of oxygen Clarke stood to her full height, hands resting on her hips, as she smiled cockily at her girlfriend. “If I recall correctly, you seemed to have quite a time with my ‘puny ass’ last night.” The tips of Clarke’s ears burned at her girlfriend’s words. She shuffled her feet, muttering under her breathe as Lexa laughed at her reaction. Lexa snaked her arms around the blonde’s waist pulling her close and settling a kiss to her nose. “I told you, you could do it.” “Yeah, yeah. Puny ass,” Clarke responded with a kiss. Lexa was pulled back by Clarke’s fingers tightening around her’s. It was such a small memory but showed her just how much strength and determination Clarke had in such a little event. It reassured her that the blonde would pull through. That she had to pull through.She could hear the clank of medical equipment around them, the sound of suction, probably blood, as Abby and another doctor ordered the nurses around quickly. Clarke seemed to gain back a little strength with how tight her fingers were intertwined with her’s, despite the nurse’s constant reading of her BP.“BP 95 over 64. She’s dropping too fast.”It had only been minutes, maybe five at most, since the last reading and Lexa knew it wasn’t good. And Abby’s furrowed, worried brow only added to her worry.“She’s loosing too much blood. Get me O negative now!” Abby ordered through her mask as she continued working,“Stay with us, Clarke. Just a little longer.”Emerald eyes moved away from the doctor to settle back on a grinning Clarke. She couldn’t help but feel just the slightest bit of peace that the blonde was at least seemingly happy and pain free in this moment. Lexa’s forehead fell against her’s as she listened to Abby call for the blood once again, this time a little more desperately.“I just…,” Clarke started slowly, her smile hitching as she spoke,“I-I want t-to see her…th-that’s all I w-want.”Soft lips pressed against her temple,“You will, Clarke. You’ll be seeing her everyday for the rest of your life. I’m not letting you go this easy. Not when…”The words lodged in her throat. She was regaining memories. Random one’s, albeit, but memories nonetheless. But did she want to give Clarke hope? Did she want to tell her that she remembered their meeting in the cold rain back in college? That she remembered their first night together? Dare to tell her that her memories were returning…even thought she wasn't sure if they would all return to her? What if it she didn’t remember everything? What if her brain only let a select few flow through?It was a senseless worry. One her exhausted and worried brain should have known was stupid to even comprehend. Because, in the end, she would tell Clarke everything. Even if it might get the blonde’s hopes up that everything might return to her at some point, Lexa promised to share everything with her. To be honest and open. And she would…just as soon as Clarke pulled through this, along with their child.Lexa cleared her throat, pushing back tears as she clung harder to Clarke’s finger’s,“You’re going to be just fine, Clarke. You’re going to hold our baby and I’ll get to brag about how I told you it was a boy all along.”There was the weakest chuckle in the back of her wife’s throat and she worried at it’s lack of strength.“Y-yeah, right…,” Clarke swatted her hand limply, barely lifting it,“My b-baby…will be the m-most beautiful lit-little girl e-ever.”“You’re baby?” Lexa teased lightly,“What happened to our?”The corner of Clarke’s lips lifted ever so slightly at the repeated words. Her lidded eyes blinked once, twice, before falling shut. “Ours.” Lexa smiled, a tear finally making it’s way down her cheek, and waited for a split second for Clarke to met her eyes one more time. Her breathe lodged in her throat when Clarke made no movement and it was then that she realized the limpness of the blonde’s fingers around her’s. Careful hands moved to cup her wife’s cheeks, shaking her just the slightest bit.“Clarke? Clarke, wake up,” Lexa panicked before turning to Abby, instantly regretting it as she noticed her arm moving it’s way into the opening of Clarke’s belly,“Abby! She won’t wake up!”“BP 91 over 60!” The nurse stated, desperation filling her voice, as she set down her chart and moved over to the table next to Abby.“She’s going to crash,” The older woman ground out, arm slowly moving out of Clarke,“I want that cart ready as soon as this baby is out!”“Abby!” Lexa cried out for no reason. Maybe it was just her fear voicing the only name that was the difference between Clarke living or dying.Abby’s eyes jumped up to her’s for a split second before jolting back down,“She’s going to be fine. Are you ready to meet your baby, Lexa?”“Our baby. Our Little Bean,” Lexa thought, hopeful.Her body was numb, her mouth hanging open with unformed words. Her lungs expanded and held still, the oxygen unable to leave as she waited. A little head, the tiniest nose from what Lexa could see. Two arms, two feet. The birth, although not at all what she was expecting, was probably a lot faster than what her muddled brain comprehended. To her, it had been hours since they had wheeled Clarke in, but in reality it had probably been a little over thirty minutes.But her brain pushed time aside when she heard the sound. Crying. A little sputter of clearing lungs before the precious sound filled the room and had a few nurses smiling with hope. Lexa stayed near Clarke but never once let her eyes wonder away from the tiny bundle that a few nurses surrounded as they checked it for injuries or trauma. She watched little feet kick, body squirming and soft hands clenched around a scrunched up face.“She’s crashing! I need the cart now!”The shout pulled her away from their baby for the first time. She startled, eyes darting across Clarke’s body and watched as the doctors and nurses moved around her with lightening speed. She barely registered hands on her shoulders before they were pulling her away.“No! What are you doing! Clarke!” Lexa fought helplessly as she was pulled away.“You’ve got to let them work, Lexa,” A male nurse told her gently,“She’s going to be just fine but I have to take you from the room. I’m going to bring you to see your baby.”In the madness, the worry, Lexa hadn’t realized that they had rushed their Little Bean out the room. Knowing it was for the best, the brunette allowed herself to be moved out the room yet her eyes never moved away from Clarke until the doors were falling shut in front of her. The last thing her eyes witnessed was an arched back as a shock was sent into Clarke’s chest before a BVM was covering her mouth and nose.The tears flowed freely now. Sliding down her cheeks and dripping from the edge of her jaw to the floor below her. She feel to her knees, her head falling back helplessly as she willed with everything in her life for that not to be the last memory of Clarke. She wouldn’t be able to bare it. A gentle hand gripped her arm and Lexa slowly opened her eyes as the male nurse helped her to her feet.“Clarke will be fine. The doctors are going to do everything they can,“The man spoke evenly,“Now, why don’t I bring you to see your little one, okay?”A shaky breathe and a nod later Lexa was being escorted down the silent hallway. The fluorescent lighting had her eyes burning and her head throbbing. When she lifted her hands to remove her cap and smooth her hair back into a decent manor Lexa felt a bandage along her forehead, one that she hadn’t realized was there. The nurse had more than likely applied it when she was cleaning her up to be with Clarke. She had been too dazed to know for sure.Her hand feel back at her side as the nurse came to a stop just a few feet ahead of her. He held open a door and gestured for her to enter when she stayed rooted to her spot.“She’s waiting for you.” She. Every cell in Lexa’s body froze and came to life at the word. Clarke’s bright smile flashed through her mind as she realized that her wife was right. Of course she was. Lexa moved slowly. One foot in front of the other into the dimly lit room. The door shut softly behind her, the nurse not following her inside. She froze when a gently bouncing nurse turned towards her. A little bundle in her hands. The baby’s face was hidden from her by the little blanket and beanie covering her head. Though, Lexa knew, deep in her heart, that she was probably a perfect split between her and Clarke.“She’s as healthy as a horse even though she was born a few weeks early,” The nurse whispered as she moved closer to her prone form,“No complications with her little lungs. No injuries from the crash. She’s perfect.”Lexa stared down at the little bundle, her arms automatically moving to cradle her as the woman carefully handed her over.“Perfect,” Lexa mumbled as she let a single fingertip graze her plump cheek.At the touch of her mother, the little baby squirmed. A foot raising inside the blanket as if still trying to kick at Lexa’s hand through Clarke's stomach. The action had Lexa’s mouth forming a dazzling smile. Little Bean’s lips quirked up in the tiniest of smiles, almost perfectly mimicking Lexa’s trademark smirk. Lexa blinked back tears as she rocked her gently and her eyes flittered up to the little cap on her head.With careful hands the brunette slowly swiped the cap away, revealing long tuffs of wispy blonde hair. The first noticeable feature from Clarke. Lexa continued to memorize her face. The long black lashes tickling smooth, peach fuzz covered cheeks. Plump pink lips forming a tongue curling yawn. Long fingers moving in search of her own. Slightly darker eyebrows scrunching as she squirmed and woke for the world. Lexa bit her lip as she noticed the telltale movement of eyelids, waiting with baited breathe to see their color.Eyes locked.A gasp rung out.Beautiful emerald green.Like looking into a mirror and seeing her own eyes reflected back at her. And everything opened like a floodgate. “Come on! Just look and smile!” “There’s people watching, Clarke!” Clarke adjusted the camera tripod once more before running over to where Lexa stood a few feet away. The ferris wheel spinning colorfully behind them. A few people mingled to their left, watching the couple with the tiniest of interest but most just continuing to enjoy the fair’s treats and rides. “They won’t even remember us in five minutes,” Clarke teased as she put her arm around Lexa’s back,“Just smile at the camera and it’ll all be over with.” From her many experiences of being dragged into self photos with Clarke, Lexa knew she had about ten seconds before the sound of the shutter released. She quickly glanced over to where about three people stood eyeing them before glancing away at the sight of her eyes. With a quick glance down to a smiling Clarke Lexa smirked. “What the hell?” Lexa thought before throwing everything to the wind. Strong arms grabbed wide hips and turned them both. Arms wrapped and pulled Clarke close as Lexa lowered her lips to the gasping blonde. Her hand grazed the edge of Clarke’s jaw, lips lazily moving against her’s, just as she shutter sounded in the distance. She smiled against her girlfriend’s lips knowing that it would easily become her favorite image…for now. “Better than just smiling?” Lexa husked as she pulled away. “Th-there’s people watching, Lexa,” Clarke stammered, eyes still closed. The brunette chuckled, eyes lifting to see that there were definitely a few more eyes on them now. “Well, why don’t we give them something to stare at?” Lexa stated slowly, head already moving down. Clarke’s eyes popped open only to fall shut as Lexa pulled her into a heated kiss, completely forgetting about the sets of eyes that were now accompanied by blushing cheeks. “I do.” Lexa stared at Clarke, golden curls framing her glowing face. The words were easy on her lips. The easiest ones she had ever spoken. The words that would make her Clarke’s and vise vera. “Do you, Clarke Griffin, take Lexa Woods to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, to love, in sickness or health, for richer or poor, until death do you part?” She could see Clarke containing her goofy grin at the word wife. “I do,” Clarke almost giggled. “By the authority vested in me by the State of Washington I now pronounce you married!” Lexa was already moving forward before the minister had uttered the last word. Pulling Clarke close and finally, finally kissing her wife. The crowd cheered around them but the noise faded into the background as Lexa continued to kiss Clarke. Her hands pulled at lacy fabric trying to pull her as close as possible, not wanting an inch of space between them. Clarke’s hands cupping her cheeks was the only thing that could make her break away as everyone continued cheering. Blue eyes searched her own as a delicate thumb traced the high perch of her cheekbone. Lexa turned her head ever so slightly to place a single kiss to the digit. “I finally get to call you my wife,” The brunette whispered against her skin. Clarke smiled,“And I get to call you mine.” Lexa smiled brightly, finally moving to clasp their hands together and face the crowd. “I present to you Mrs. and Mrs. Griffin-Woods,” The minister announced before they began their descent down the aisle. A new roar of cheers broke out followed by flower petals raining down from above. Clarke laughed happily as a few caught in her hair, reaching out to pull one from Lexa’s own brunette curls as they reached the end of the aisle. Lexa pulled her close one last time, leaning her back and giving her another sweet kiss before they disappeared behind the doors before them. “You said you’d work on it, Lexa! It’s been four weeks since you’ve said that! I feel like I don’t even see you anymore!” Lexa cringed. They were on their third month of being married and they were already fighting more than twice a week. She couldn’t blame Clarke for being a little upset though. She had been spending a lot of time at the office but in her defense it was a very critical time for them. Getting this merger meant expanding and more investors to keep things running. Lexa couldn’t waste an opportunity like this one because they weren’t prepared. Hence all the extra work hours that had her at the office from sun up to sun down. Something that Clarke wasn’t overly found of. “You know what this merger means for the company, Clarke. I need to make sure we have everything prepared before the end of the month,” Lexa sighed. Clarke pinched the bridge of her nose and Lexa could practically see the headache pounding away at her temples. “I know, Lexa. I know. But you’re barely here anymore. Gone before I wake up and back in bed after I’m already asleep.” “Clarke…,” The CEO drawled, trying to find the best way to appease her wife,“It’s not ideal, I know, but it’s necessary. I promise as soon as the merger is done I’ll take time away from the office and we’ll…go on a vacation or something.” “But it’s not just about us being together, Lex. It’s part of it, yes, but not completely,” Clarke pressed,“When I do see you, you’re completely drained. You’re dead on your feet, bags under your eyes, and don’t think I haven’t noticed the almost empty bottle of scotch in your office. You’ve had that since we got engaged and I know it wasn’t even half empty four weeks ago. You drink when you’re stressed.” Lexa averted her gaze. Clarke was right. There were a number of times when she had found herself bringing home files and charts to study and analyze, each time filled with at least two glasses of scotch. She could feel the tiredness settling into her bones, the very tiredness that Clarke had just called her out on. Maybe it was for the best, to take a day or two off…it wouldn’t hurt would it? Yes, because this was a big step and she needed to be prepared. No excuses. “Yes, you’re right, Clarke, but that doesn’t change the fact that I need everything to be perfect. I can’t risk it. If this fails then everything else could fall apart right from under us.” Suddenly, Clarke was in front of her, gripping her shoulders before drifting up and cupping her jaw. “But what will it matter if you run yourself dry? If you end up in the hospital for exhaustion? I’m not asking you to take an entire month off, Lex, just two days at least. Get some sleep and rejuvenate. I’m sure Anya can handle things for two days,” Clarke whispered. She could see the little glint in those blue eyes. One that she knew to be too well paired with Clarke’s scheming mind. “You already asked Anya to watch over the office for me, didn’t you?” Clarke didn’t even tried to hide her triumph filled smirk. “Yep,” Her lips popping on the ‘p’,“You’re off for the next two days and you’ll be doing nothing but sleeping and relaxing. Anya promised if there is something that they absolutely cannot solve without you that she’d call, though she said she doubted that would happen. So you have nothing to worry about.” Lexa mumbled under her breathe. The words ‘little sneak’ and ‘damn sister’ easy to decipher. Clarke rolled her eyes and moved through the kitchen over to the fridge. “So, how about I make us some dinner and then run us a relaxing bubble bath? You could use the stress relief right about now, I’m sure.” A squeak sounded from her throat as Clarke was spun and lifted, back pressed against the now closed fridge. Her head fell back as lips attached her neck. A smirk pressing into her skin when she let a moan escape. “I can think of other ways to relieve stress other than a bath. Maybe a nice…massage?” Lexa rasped with a little nip to Clarke’s pulse. Lexa barked out a laugh as Clarke could only nod and moan, legs slinking around her waist and clenching tightly. Hands cradling her thighs, Lexa pulled her wife away from the smooth metal surface behind her and began leading them towards the stairs and up to the bedroom, fully intent on ‘relaxing’ with Clarke as much as possible. “You know this isn’t what I had in mind when I said you’d be doing nothing but sleeping and relaxing, right?” Clarke said breathlessly as Lexa began trailing warm lips down her bare ribcage. “Yes, but I’d much rather be doing you,” Lexa said lamely right before her tongue had Clarke’s cries echoing around the room. “Lexa?” She knew that tone and she prepared herself for another one of Clarke’s ‘serious questions’. “Clarke?” Lexa hummed as she flipped the page in her book. “If we had a daughter…what would you name her?” Lexa turned and peered over the rim of her glasses, fixing her wife with a pointed look from across the couch. “Is there something you need to discuss with me, Clarke?” A foot playfully shoved at her thigh and she couldn’t help but chuckle. “No, you idiot,” Clarke laughed,“I’m just curious.” “I’m not sure,” Lexa stated as she glanced up at the ceiling in thought,“I’ve never really thought about it before.” “Well, I know what I’d name my daughter if I had one,” Clarke commented and Lexa knew that she wanted her to ask what it was. “Care to share?” The blonde smiled softy, all traces of playfulness gone,“Skye.” “Skye? Why that name?” “My dad…he used to always be able to tell me what every name meant. I remember giving him the name Skye and he said something about the Scottish Isle of Skye, bringing the might sky down to earth, and I just…fell in love with it. It’s stuck with me this long, the name I mean, and it has a sort of sentimental value to me because it was the last name I asked him about before he passed,” Clarke whispered. Lexa quickly put her book down, shucked off her glasses and reached over to pull Clarke close to her. She wrapped her snuggly in her arms, murmuring soft words into her hair as the blonde sniffed into her shoulder. “It’s a beautiful name, Clarke,” Lexa said. “I want a baby,” Clarke whispered suddenly,“I want one with you and I want to name her Skye. I that selfish of me?” She couldn’t help the little laugh that escaped her. Clarke pushed back, clearly startled by the sound. “No, it’s not,” Lexa said as she brushed a curl behind Clarke’s ear,“I want a baby with you too, Clarke…although, what happens if we have a boy?” The mood quickly went from somber to playful with an ease roll of the blonde’s eyes. “It’s a unisex name, Lex. I just always thought I’d have a girl first,” Clarke shrugged. “I’ll take whatever life gives us. As long as they’re healthy and happy,” Lexa smiled. Blue eyes searched her’s, just a hint of fear glinting in them,“So we’re gonna do it then?” Lexa’s gaze traveled down to the flat expanse of Clarke’s belly, imagining it round with their child, soft kicks and lazy flutters. “Yeah, yeah we are,” Lexa said, a new sense of life filling her chest,“Let’s have a baby.” Clarke chuckled lovingly, arms circling Lexa’s neck and pulling her into a kiss filled with love and passion. When they broke away, the brunette became fixated on Clarke’s eyes, seeing a beautiful little baby with the same shade as either her or Clarke’s. Green. Blue. “Bringing the mighty sky down to earth,” Lexa said softly to herself. Nothing would ever seem more fitting. It was like breathing in new life when she resurfaced, still clinging safely to the newborn in her arms like an anchor. Everything flashed through her eyes, her mind, consumed her. She remembered. Everything. Clarke, Costia, her friends and Anya, her accident. Everything was there. Like her daughter’s eyes had been a very mirror into her life and shown her every single memory that had laid dormant since her accident. Green eyes, now wide and searching, stared up at her and Lexa could barely register the curl of her daughter’s hand around her finger.“Skye,” Lexa whispered as she wiggled her finger,“You’re momma is going to fall so in love with you when she sees you. And never let me live it down that she was right.”“So you have a name for her?” The nurse asked carefully.Lexa couldn’t bring herself to pull her gaze away from the perfect image of her daughter.“Mhhmm,” Lexa hummed,“But I don’t want to make anything official until my wife is awake.”“Of course. I understand. It would just be nice to call her something other than baby Griffin-Woods.”“You can call her Little Bean. It was her nickname while Clarke was pregnant,” Lexa said softly, now running a finger over the bridge of Little Bean’s nose.The little girl scrunched her face and wiggled slightly before settling down. A little yawn left her lips before she snuggled deeper into her blanket and Lexa’s chest and falling asleep. Lexa’s heart faltered at the loss of beautiful green orbs before picking back up at the sight of her daughter warm and content in her arms.Her head pounded more now than before. Like is could split open at any second. But she had been too enwrapped with her daughter to notice or care. When everything slowly faded back into reality she knew that she needed to be checked over. As much as she didn’t want to let her little girl go it was better to hold her later when she wasn’t dizzy.“Is Dr. Williams in today? I think I’ll need to see him.”“He should be in. I’ll see if he’s available and page him down,” The nurse said before making her way out the room.With the room quiet and empty Lexa stared down at her daughter, brushing her fingers over her cheeks, nose, ears, hair, before settling her into the little hospital bassinet in front of her. She watched her wiggle for a second before finding a comfortable position and settling back down. So much swirled in her head. Her daughter, Clarke, her returned memories, and the new ones that were now mixed with the old. She was her old self, yet someone different. Someone changed by a series of unfortunate events that probably happened at the worst time in her life.There were things she needed to discuss with everyone. Things that desperately needed to go over, but they could wait. Right now, she needed to talk with Dr. Williams. Make sure there was no other damage from her head injury that may show up in the long run and let him know of her regained memories. And Clarke. She needed to know about her wife. Needed to know that she was okay and breathing and would be holding their daughter as soon as she woke up.The door behind her opened, Dr. Williams stepping in quietly, eyes darting from her to the bassinet and back.“Lexa,” The man greeted with a nod,“It’s nice to see you although I wish the circumstances were different.”The brunette’s throat tightened. Obviously he knew of Clarke’s curtain condition in the OR just by his tone and the sorrow in his eyes.“She’ll be okay,” Lexa told him, more for herself than him, she knew.“Of course. Clarke is a stubborn woman,” The man chuckled as he stepped further into the room, eyeing her daughter,“She’s beautiful. The perfect blend of the both of you.”Lexa glanced back down at Little Bean as a smile graced her features.“She has my eyes,” She whispered.A light chuckled breezed through Dr. Williams’ nose, trying to keep quite as to not wake the baby.“The nurse said you needed to see me, Lexa?” The man said, curiosity peeking in his tone as his head tilted to the side in question.Her gaze dropped to the floor, eyeing her scuffed shoes before meeting Dr. Williams’ gaze.“I remember everything now. The accident, Clarke…everything.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Ai hod you in.” Clarke craned her neck backwards to peer at her girlfriend who rested comfortably behind her. “What?” Lexa dropped the book she was holding away from her face and chuckled at the confusion clinging to the blonde’s face. “It means I love you in Trigedasleng.” Blue eyes narrowed,“Tri-what?” Another small chuckle. “You remember that languages class I’m taking?” “You mean the one where you’re learning a bunch of rare languages for only reasons that God knows?” Clarke smirked, loving the reaction that she could get from the brunette at poking at her inner nerd. Lexa tickled her ribs causing the woman to giggle helplessly,“Yes, that one you brat.” “Yes, yes. I remember,” Clarke breathed through giggles. “We learned about this language called Trigedasleng yesterday and the first question I asked was how to say ‘I love you’.” “Why?” Blue eyes shined curiously. “It’s something rare. Not a lot of people know about the language and I doubt anyone in class was actually listening,” Lexa sighed as she rested her chin on the blonde’s shoulder,“And despite the fact that everyone already knows how much I’m head over heels for you it’s nice to have a way to tell you I love you and no one else knows what it means.” A dark blonde eyebrow arched up,“You’re such a nerd.” “But I’m your nerd,” Lexa commented, fingers wiggling against ribs again. Twisting away from dancing fingers, Clarke pushed herself up and straddled her girlfriend’s hips. “My nerd,” She whispered against plump lips,“Mine.” “Your’s,” Lexa replied breathlessly. “I hold you in.” “Ai hod yu in, Clarke. Try again.” “Shut up and kiss me.” “Yes, ma’am.” “But say it one more time.” “Ai hod yu in.” “Mh,” Clarke hummed as Lexa’s lips nipped down her neck,“I like it.” “I knew you would, hodnes.” “What?” “It means love.” “Oh, I like that even more.” Clarke moaned as she was flipped and pressed into the couch and Lexa’s hands clawed at her shirt. “I even remembered to ask the translation for you favorite word,” The brunette husked once Clarke’s shirt hit the floor and her lips curled around protruding collar bones. “Oh, yeah?” Clarke already knew what word. “Jok,” Lexa whispered as she took a perky breast into her mouth. “Jok,” The blonde cried out perfectly, not missing the smirk that formed around her breast. The pitter-patter of tiny feet echoed around the hallway. Fingers brushed along the painted wall as their owner ran further into the home. “Daddy!” Blonde hair whipped into baby blue eyes as she turned the corner, happily prancing into her father’s office. A man, dusty blonde hair and blue eyes similar to her own turned to the little blonde and held his arms out for her. “Clarke! How was your day sweet pea?” The little girl giggled happily as her father spun her around in his arms. “Amazing, daddy! I learned a new name today at school!” “Oh? And what name would that be?” Jake asked as he set her down on the edge of his desk and took a seat in front of her. Clarke pushed stray blonde curls from her face and smiled proudly. “Skye.” Her father smiled lightly and bushed his hand across his chin in thought. “Skye. Hmmm, I’m sure I know this one. Give me a minute.” Another wave of giggles sounded from the blonde as Jake playfully tapped a finger against his chin as if in deep thought. After a few seconds he perked up and poked said finger into her tummy. “I remember now,” Jake billowed as he pulled her onto his lap,“Skye. Of Scottish and English origin. Skye is used as a natural name based off both the Scottish Isle of Skye and the sky itself. The Scottish Isle of Skye is actually a beautiful land where people say the mighty sky was brought down to earth.” It was a lot to process for her little six-year-old brain but Clarke still found it mesmerizing all the same. “Bringing the mighty sky down to earth,” Clarke whispered as she clutched her father’s shirt. Jake smiled. “And you, my sweet pea, carry the mighty sky within your eyes,” He spoke softly as he poked her nose gently. Clarke laughed and brushed away his hand,“And I was brought to the Earth! By you and mommy!” “That you were, Clarke. And the Earth will never be prepared enough for you. You will shine like the brightest star and bring so much love. They’ll never see it coming.” “They?” The blonde cocked her head to the side. “Whoever is waiting for you out there,” Jake gestured to the world outside the window beside them,“The person who will love and care for the mighty sky. Where they could rule a thousand suns but instead bow before a single star.” Blue eyes didn’t quite understand the meaning their father’s words just yet and she contemplated them almost everyday after his passing a day later. But one day, rainy and standing before the brightest green eyes, she did. They rung through her ears and went on with her as the mighty skies in her eyes were sent crashing into the beautiful green Earth of the woman before her. Her head swam. Blue eyes blurry with pain. Her stomach ached, a deep kind that had her squirming and only making it worse. Her arms felt like lead as she tried to lift them up to soothe the pain but she was too weak. Clarke chanced opening her eyes and instantly regretted it as soon as the dull light above blinded her. A low groan echoed through the room and she heard an instant shuffle of fabric and the sound of hurried footsteps.“Clarke? Sweetie, can you hear me?”Another groan was all she could answer with as she shifted towards the voice. Clarke’s muddled brain was at least able to make out that it was her mother that now stood beside her and carefully brushed her hair back. As Abby hovered above her, Clarke was finally able to crack her eyes open and let them adjust to the now blocked lighting.“Oh, thank god,” Abby cried as she held Clarke’s cheeks and smiled down at her eyes.“Mom,” The younger woman croaked out, throat dry and scratchy,“M-mom. What…what happened.”Tears streaked her mother’s cheeks and her lips trembled,“I’ll explain in a minute sweetie, but first I need to go get Lexa. She left for just a moment. God, she’s going to be upset she wasn’t here. I’ll be right back.”Clarke could barely keep up with her mother’s words and by time she caught up Abby was gone. Her eyes slowly trailed around the room, neck stiff as she turned her head and watched the heart monitor next to her. She was finally regaining a bit of strength in her hands and they slowly rose from her sides and covered the expanse of her belly. Her flat belly. Everything crashed into her at once as she brushed across a small lump under her gown and a back curling pain filled her body. The gala. Costia. Matt. Her and Lexa leaving. The crash. Lexa and Abby’s worried voices. Sirens. So much pain.Little Bean.Clarke’s heart race increased, the monitor next to her beeping like crazy. What happened to her? Where was she? Did she…The crash. Clarke’s heart lurched into her throat at the thought. Her breath caught in her lungs and had her gasping. Pale hands flailed before they found purchase on the raised railings of the bed and tried to pull her up into a sitting position. Just the slightest incline of her body had Clarke crying out and feeling something warm dribble down her stomach.Before she could try to ease herself back down the door flew open. Two nurses and a doctor rushed in and surrounded her in seconds and began coaxing her to calm down and lay back. Her mind raced, the questions buzzing through her dying in her throat due to the lack of oxygen in her lungs. A mask was placed over her mouth and nose and there was a slight relief as her lungs expanded once again. One nurse held her shoulder down gently, speaking to her softly, as the doctor rolled her gown up and began removing a blood soaked bandage.“Clarke!”Nothing could stop her eyes from meeting her wife’s as she barreled through the half open door. Even the slight lift of her head caused further pain in her stomach but she didn’t care. All that mattered was finally having Lexa next to her again, hands soothing over her cheeks and gripping her hand tightly.“Hey, I’m here. Stay still, okay. You went through a lot and had to get some stitches,” The brunette cooed.The pain was too much for her to argue so Clarke lazily nodded. Lexa stayed by her side through the blurry process of the doctor administering some pain medication and carefully redoing a few popped stitches. Despite the morphine running through her system Clarke’s mind seemed to be a little less fuzzy than it had been five minutes ago.“Lexa.”Her wife tore her eyes away from intently watching the doctor stitch her up and looked at her with a small smile.“Yes? Are you still in pain?”Clarke shook her head slowly and she could feel tears well up in her eyes,“No. No, Lexa, I’m okay. B-but what about…what about Little Bean? Where is she? Wh…what happened? Where’s our baby, Lexa?”Lexa hovered over her instantly, hands cradling her face as she gently forced her to look into her eyes.“Hey, look at me. You have to calm down, Clarke. Little Bean is fine. She's perfectly healthy. You’ll be able to see her soon but first we need to get you fixed up, okay?”“She?” More tears poured down her cheeks,“It was a girl? I was right?”The brunette chuckled lightly and nodded,“You were right. You’re always right.”Clarke’s weak laugh turned into a low groan when she felt a small tug as the doctor finished her stitches.“You should be okay for now, Mrs. Woods. Just no sitting up or sudden movements. A nurse will be back around to check on you in an hour and administer some more morphine if needed,” The doctor stated as he pat her leg comfortingly and stood from his chair.Both women quietly thanked him as he made his exit. Neither one talked for a while, just staring at each other like they might suddenly vanish.“I thought I’d lost you,” Lexa brokenly whispered.Clarke slowly cupped her wife’s cheeks and brushed away a stray tear,“Everything’s still a bit fuzzy but I can assure you that you’re stuck with me. I’m not going anywhere any time soon, okay?”Lexa nodded with a tiny sniffle and smiled softly before leaning down and kissing her.Clarke’s fingers curled into the baby hairs at the back of her wife’s neck and held on tightly. There was something different between them. Something that had always been a little off since after the accident. Clarke kissed her harder, longer, and searched to figure out the shift. But she never got the chance to figure it out before there was a soft knock at her door.“Everything okay?” Abby asked quietly as she poked her head inside.Lexa pulled away from her and nodded,“We’re good. You can come in.”Clarke wasn’t prepared for the little bundle in her mother’s arms. Wasn’t prepared for the squirming little body and tiny fingers that peeked out from the pink blanket. Her chest swelled with unconditional love. That was their baby. Her’s and Lexa’s. Safe and warm and beautiful.Abby walked to her carefully and smiled brightly as she reached the side of her bed.“Ready to finally meet your daughter?”The blonde could only nod, arms already reaching out to take the precious cargo from her mother. There was a soft cry from the little girl as she was shifted but as soon as she settled into Clarke’s arms her eyes were wide with wonder and her fingers reached out to her. Clarke’s lips quivered as she stared down at the perfect little being. Bright green eyes, just a swirl of blonde curls poking out from under her little cap, button nose, and full cheeks.Lexa slowly sat on the bed next to her, arm wrapping around her shoulders and staring down at their baby together. Neither payed any mind as Abby quietly slipped from the room. Clarke ran a finger over the bridge of their little girl’s nose and smiled as she closed her eyes and quirked the corner of her lips in a tiny smile.“My precious Skye,” Clarke murmured softly.“Why didn’t you put that name on the list?”Bleu eyes peered up at Lexa,“What?”“Skye. Why didn’t you put it on the list?”“I…I’m not sure,” Clarke mumbled earning her an arched eyebrow which made her relent,“I didn’t…I didn’t want to force it on you. It was a name we decided together before the accident. I thought maybe there was another name you’d like better now. I thought if I said it and you asked why and I gave the story behind it you’d feel guilted into picking it. I didn’t want to do that to you.”Lexa stared down at her, one hand brushing along the side of Skye and the other raising to cradle her jaw. There was something intense in her emerald eyes. Something that shimmered and became unveiled with each passing second.“Bringing the mighty sky down to the Earth. It’s very fitting for our story, hodnes.”Clarke’s body froze. The word penetrating to her very core and stopping every thought process.“What did you call me?”Her wife moved closer, resting their foreheads together but keeping their eyes locked.“Hodnes. I thought we went over this before, Clarke. It means love.”“You…you remember that?” Clarke spoke breathlessly.Lexa’s eyes never strayed from her’s, searching them as if it had been years since she last saw the baby blues.“Everything, Clarke. I remember everything. Meeting you, falling in love, marrying you, your phone call, the accident. Everything.”The first thing her mostly drugged brain thought when she heard Lexa’s words was that she was dreaming. That it was impossible for Lexa to remember everything after so long. But she knew that wasn’t true. She had her doubts, ones she hated to admit took over her more than her belief that the memories would return to her wife, but she knew. It was always there, the knowledge, just simply waiting for the inevitable to really happen. And now it was. After yet another car accident so similar to Lexa’s own and after the messy birth of their daughter.“H-how?” Clarke whispered, barley able to even form the word.Lexa smiled languidly as her eyes traveled down to the precious bundle in her arms who was sound asleep. Her tiny hand clutched onto Clarke’s hospital gown, face turned into her mother’s breast.“Skye,” Her wife said slowly,“I mean, it started slowly before her, but she…it’s hard to explain. The accident…I hit my head again. I kept getting these flashes of pain and memories every few minutes. After she was born, after they took me away from you…”Clarke could see the anguish in Lexa’s eyes. She still wasn’t fully aware of what happened and her condition after the accident but whatever Lexa had seen…it had scared her.“Hey,” Clarke said as she cupped her cheek,“I’m not entirely sure what happened but I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”That took a little of the fear from her eyes and Clarke was grateful. Lexa swallowed thickly as she prepared herself for the rest of her story.“After they took me away from you a nurse took me to Skye. God, Clarke, she was -is- beautiful. I couldn’t stop staring at her, like she wasn’t real. When I held her…she opened her eyes,” Lexa whispered,“She has my eyes. So green and filled with life. It was almost like I was looking in a mirror. That’s when everything was just forced back to me. Memory after memory and it didn’t stop until they were all back.”Maybe it was the morphine running through her system or the dizziness of not knowing what day it was but if finally, finally hit her that Lexa remembered. Not just bits and pieces but everything. Clarke couldn’t stop the body racking sobs from escaping as she covered her mouth in amazement. Everything blurred from the tears that poured down her cheeks. Lexa’s own teary face faded in and out of the watery haze and it was the only thing her fuzzy mind could truly focus on other than the baby in her arms.A shaky hand anchored onto the nape of Lexa’s neck as she drew their foreheads back together.“E-everything. Oh my god, you re-remember everything?”“Yeah.”“Tell me. Tell me everything. I want to hear it. I want to listen to every little detail while we cuddle our daughter,” Clarke sobbed harder.Lexa nodded fervently against her before pressing her lips to her’s. It was sweet and mixed with tears but neither cared. They were lost on the world. Just trying to fill their senses with each other in that very moment.When they finally broke apart Lexa soothed the tears away from her cheeks and searched her eyes quietly.“Clarke, there’s something I want to say before I tell you everything that happened.”The blonde nodded slowly, knowing it was something serious by the way Lexa looked at her,“Okay.”Lexa pursed her lips as if trying to figure out the best way to form her thoughts.“Even though my memories are back…I can’t…there’s a lot that happened these past months. Some things that I can’t just ignore. None of us had the best communication skills while I was memoryless and I think it’s something we need to discuss. And also Anya and our friends…and your mother.”Clarke knew this would be a conversation they had if or whenever Lexa ever regained her memories.“I know, Lexa. I don’t expect you to. I don’t want you to. There is a lot to talk about and I know that you’re still not exactly the same person you were before the first accident. I understand. I’m not expecting you to go back exactly to who you were. I know you’ve probably changed a bit with everything that’s happened and I understand that.”Lexa nodded, taking in a deep breath,“That’s not all though. You all aren’t the only ones that did something stupid. I…with Costia…I should have told you. I never should have went behind your back like that. I feel like-like I cheated on you. And it’s one of the only things I could think about while you were laying here unconscious.”“Lexa,” Clarke steeled herself for her next words, knowing that everyone had different opinions on the topic,“I know so many people would see it as cheating. I’ve seen all the articles and magazines but to me you never cheated. You said you never kissed her or anything, right?”Her wife nodded slowly.“Yes, you sought her out because you thought you were still in love with her but your brain was in a completely different time. You were confused and scared. Costia offered you something familiar. You needed to work out your feelings. You woke up in a hospital bed with some ‘stranger’ telling you they were your wife. If I had been in your position and there was only one person I had that I thought would be able to make me feel like I could understand everything again then I would have went to them. That’s basically what you did, Lexa. I was…upset at first, yes, but after you explained everything I realized that I wasn’t thinking of your feelings. How it was making you feel just being thrown into a marriage that you had no idea about. You had every right to see her and try to work out your feelings because no one else was apparently willing to listen to you.”When Clarke met Lexa’s eyes she looked conflicted.“Still…I didn’t exactly tell you how I was feeling. And I know you’ll say that you all should have seen it,” Lexa stopped her just before she could interrupt her,“That’s why I said we didn’t have the best communication skills. We all made mistakes and that’s that. We’ll discuss it and work through it but right now you need some more rest, okay? You’re exhausted and this isn’t the time to have this discussion. Everyone should be present for it.”Lexa’s hand ghosted over her own shaking one that held Skye. Clarke hadn’t even realized how tired she was until Lexa had said something. She nodded slowly, leaning against Lexa’s shoulder and closing her eyes. She tightened her arms when she felt her wife try to take Skye from her arms.“No, don’t. I just want to hold her,” Clarke murmured sleepily,“Just stay here and hold us both, Lex.”The brunette shifted a bit beside her and Clarke felt an arm drape around her shoulder and one settle on her hand holding Skye. A soft kiss was pressed against her forehead and Clarke smiled dreamily when she could feel Lexa lean down and place one to Skye’s own head.“Okay. You both rest. I’ll be here when you wake up and then we’ll talk some more,” Lexa whispered, lips back on her temple.Clarke answered with a breathy hum. The feeling of their Little Bean snuggled in her arms now, instead of her tummy, filled her with a sense of peace and slowly lulled her into a deep sleep. In the back of her mind, through the warm memories, something dark lingered. Set a pit in at the bottom of her stomach that made her feel like she was slowly sinking to the ocean floor.This wasn’t a dream?This wasn’t morphine induced and she would wake up and Lexa would still be next to her with every single one of her memories…right? …right? ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Previously… The car was mostly quiet besides the soft tune of the radio playing in the background. Clarke sat in the passenger seat, both hands resting on her tummy and rubbing soft circles. “I can’t believe that all happened,” Clarke whispered. The brunette hummed in agreement, eyes flittering back and forth from the road to her wife, knowing that she didn’t want to talk about that anymore. “Clarke…?” The blonde rolled her head against the headrest to face her,“Yeah, Lex?” Now felt like the best time. “A while ago…I overheard a conversation you had on the phone with your mother,” She could hear Clarke’s voice hitch,“You were upset about wanting me to remember and feeling selfish for doing so. I know all this has happened and it’s giving you a lot to think about but I just want you to know that…I want to. Remember that is. And even though I don’t want to change the person that losing my memories has made me I’d still like to remember everything about us. Because in the end…I love you and that’s all that matters.” Lexa met her gaze quickly and could see the tears shinning in her eyes before turning her gaze back to the road. Clarke sniffled a few times and wiped at her face before laughing. “Stupid pregnancy hormones. Stop making me cry, Lexa,” Clarke whispered,“And I love you, too. We both do.” The brunette smiled happily and reached a familiar hand over to Clarke’s belly. Her heart jumped impossibly faster when she felt the strong movement there. “I told you she knows when you’re around or when you’re touching her. She was completely still until you touched me.” “Because I’m her favorite mother,” Lexa teased, carefully looking at the headlights on the opposite side of the road. “Yeah, okay. I’m the one that’s carrie her for almost nine months. I should be her fav— Look out! ” Clarke woke with a start. The sound of crushing metal slowly drowned her ears. A shaky hand on her chest was the only thing keeping her hammering heart from leaping out and into her lap. Her eyes darted frantically around the bleak hospital room. The room was empty, completely silent other than the heart monitor beeping hastily beside her bed. There was no sign of Lexa. Not her mother. Not Skye. Still shaky hands traveled down to her belly, the flatness of it still something she was getting used to after carrying Skye for so long. So she hadn’t been dreaming. Clarke’s mind buzzed with the realization that their baby was finally in this world. And in that moment she wanted nothing more than to hold both her and Lexa. Clarke felt around her bed for a moment before her fingers grazed the cord of the call button and she quickly pressed down on it. The click of the button was met with silence. She half expected to hear a nurse’s voice come from the speaker behind her.....but was met with only silence. Her thumb smashed the button once more as she became a little irritated. She had just woken up, slightly shaken and wanting her family and now the nurses wouldn’t answer her call. Just as Clarke was about to hop out of bed and go find them herself, her door quietly swung open. A dark haired nurse popped her head in, eyes wide as she took in Clarke’s still figure on the bed. “M-ms. Woods, I’m glad to see you finally awake,” the nurse spoke quietly as she made her way inside the room,“Let me check your vitals and I’ll page the doctor to come take a look at you.” Clarke tried to wave her off, “No it’s fine. I saw a doctor earlier. I just want to see my wife and child. Can you please get them? I’m surprised Lexa isn’t here though. Must be grabbing coffee or something with mom.” When her request was met with silence Clarke turned her head to look at the nurse, another burst of irritation forming in her chest ready to burst out. But it all quelled down when she saw the look on the nurses face. “Ms. Woods...I’m not sure how to tell you this...but...,” the nurse slowly tapered off, looking around as if trying to figure out how to continue the sentence. Ms. Woods “Why do you keep calling me ‘Ms. Woods’? I’m sorry but it’s Mrs. Woods, I’m married. Now please, I’d really like to see my wife and child.” The nurse bit her lip, panic swirling around her eyes, “Ms. Woods, there’s no easy way to tell you this but...your wife didn’t survive the crash. And your baby...the doctors had to preform an emergency c-section....she didn’t make it either.” Everything stopped. Clarke’s heart. Her lungs. Her brain. Everything. Stopped. “N-no. No. Y-you’re lying. I just saw her before I went to sleep. She was here! Right here next to me with Skye! I-I was holding Skye! They didn’t die in the crash!” It took the nurse rushing up to her bed and fighting to hold her down for Clarke to realize she was trying pull her own IV out of her hand and jump out of the bed. “They’re not dead! They’re not! I was just with them! I-I was....they were here. Skye. Lexa. T-they...were...” Clarke grabbed onto the sleeve of the nurse’s scrubs as hot tears ran down her cheeks. She screamed her pain over and over into the woman’s shoulder. Images of Lexa and Skye flashing through the blur of tears. Suddenly she could feel hands on her cheeks, thumbs brushing away the tears gently. Much too gently to be that of the nurse. “Clarke! Wake up, Clarke. It’s okay! We’re okay!” Blue eyed flashed open. Brunette curls surrounded her vision, hands still cupped around reddened cheeks. A soft voice whispered in her ear and she felt her body being rocked slowly. “You’re okay, Clarke. Everything’s fine.” “L-Lexa?” Clarke wasted no time pushing Lexa’s hair out of her face and locking in on the worried emerald eyes of her wife. Relief flooded her veins and sent her heart into a crazy mess. “I t-thought....I thought you were dead,” Clarke cried,“It felt so real.” “It wasn’t real, Clarke. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” Clarke pulled her close and locked her arms around her wife tightly. Time seemed to still for a moment as her heart calmed down and her tears slowly came to a stop. After a few more moments of silence Clarke gently pushed Lexa back and wiped at her eyes. “Skye?” Lexa smiled softly and brushed a strand of blonde hair behind her ear,“A nurse came in a little while ago and took her for a check up. You’re mother is with her.” Clarke breathes a sigh of relief. The great pressure that had been hanging on her shoulders since she had awoken finally lifting. “You still remember everything...right?” “Every single memory, hodnes.” Clarke smiled gratefully. Everything was falling back into place. Her life going from perfect, to upside down, and slowly easing back into perfect. All that was left was the matter of talking through everything that had happened while Lexa was without her memories. “Lexa, we still need to talk about...well, you know.” “I know, but as I said before you went to sleep, I don’t want to talk about at right now. I want to focus on your health and Skye.” Clarke nodded slowly as she gently rubbed her fingers over Lexa’s. Lexa placed a firm kiss to her forehead just as a soft knock was heard through the room. “I’ve brought a little visitor back with me,” Abby spoke softly as she wheeled in the hospital bassinet next to Clarke’s bed. Clarke’s heart melted as she saw Skye sleeping peacefully, wrapped in a forest green blanket with little monkeys. Lexa stood quickly and carefully lifted Skye into her arms before passing her off to Clarke. The blonde took in every little feature of her daughter. The little wrinkle between her eyes as she fell back into a deep sleep. The way her tiny fingers held onto the edge of the blanket. Clarke danced her fingers across Skye’s forehead before placing the sweetest kiss to her brow. “I love you my little bean. So much.” Claire was so lost in staring at Skye that she didn’t see when Lexa and Abby looked at each other with bright smiles. “Clarke, Lexa,” Abby started slowly after a few minutes of silence,“I’m not sure if you’re up to it just yet but you’ve got a few visitors in the waiting room that have been eagerly waiting to see all three of you. One of which is starting to demand she see her niece before the next century.” Clarke barely held back a laugh as Lexa rolled her eyes at the mention of her sister. “I guess they’ve finally become tired of only viewing Skye through the nursery’s window,” Lexa drawled out. “They?” Clarke asked. “Everyone has been here since the accident, Clarke. Anya, Raven, Octavia....you know the rest,” Abby said,“I had to force them all to go change before they ran everyone out of the waiting room from their stench.” Clarke and Lexa chuckled. Of course their friends would stay until they were forced into leaving, if only for a few hours. And who else better to do it than Abby? “Well, if the doctors clear Clarke for visitors I’m more than happy to have the company,” Lexa said as she sat on the bed next to Clarke,“What about you, hodnes?” Clarke smiled happily and nodded,“I’d love to see everyone. But if Octavia and Raven start fighting over who is the better godparent I’m kicking them out.” Abby shook her head and chuckled as Lexa held her hands up in defeat and got up to make her way towards the door. “You make the rules here Clarke.” “You bet your butt I do,” Clarke called out as Lexa stepped out towards the waiting room.
10454283	Nothing under the sun	{ "Archive Warning": "Major Character Death", "Category": "Gen", "Characters": "Abarai Renji, Kuchiki Rukia, Ishida Uryuu, Inoue Orihime, Shihouin Yoruichi, Urahara Kisuke", "Fandom": "Bleach", "Language": "Español", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by SheenaRogers", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-26T00:00:00", "words": "3,027", "Additional Tags": "One Shot, Pre-Winter War (Bleach), What-If, Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt No Comfort, Time Skips, Death, Character Death, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Canonical Character Death, Tributes, POV Third Person, POV Female Character, POV Male Character, POV Multiple, Tragedy, Drama, Angst and Tragedy, Psychological Drama, Sad, Sad Ending, Bittersweet Ending, Bittersweet", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Abarai Renji/Kuchiki Rukia, Inoue Orihime/Ishida Uryuu", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Ishida miró el reloj sobre su mesita de noche. Los números digitales marcaban las siete y media; aún quedaba tiempo. Nunca había sido de los que llegaban tarde a los sitios y menos a las citas importantes. Frente al espejo, se ajustó la corbata negra, a juego con su traje. Frunció el ceño, descontento. Odiaba el negro. Su color siempre había sido el blanco, incluso cuando cambió su ropa de quincy por la bata de médico. El negro era para los shinigamis. Justo cuando terminaba de cerrar el nudo, desde la otra habitación le llegó la voz de Inoue.- Ishida-kun.- ¿Estás lista? – un nuevo vistazo al reloj le informó de que habían pasado dos minutos.Al no recibir respuesta, cruzó la puerta que separaba las dos habitaciones, preocupado. Se encontró a Inoue allí, con un sencillo vestido azul oscuro y el pelo recogido en una coleta, como lo llevaba habitualmente desde hacía años, ya sin rastro de las horquillas que en el pasado adornaban siempre su peinado. Le daba la espalda y enseguida pudo ver el motivo. Se acercó a ella para subirle la cremallera del vestido; en cuanto lo hizo se dio la vuelta y tuvo que enfrentar el vacío dormido en el fondo de sus ojos grises. Por mucho tiempo que pasara, no lograba acostumbrarse. Antes estaban tan llenos de luz… antes. Cuando Kurosaki todavía vivía. - Vamos, llegaremos tarde.Ishida salió del cuarto de Inoue, dirigiéndose al recibidor para recoger su cartera y las llaves del coche. Abrió la puerta de casa, esperando a que ella saliera. Antes de cerrar, consultó el reloj de nuevo. Las ocho menos cuarto. La puerta senkaimon se cerró tras ellos y desapareció en el cielo nocturno sin dejar rastro. Los dos shinigamis se tomaron un momento para acostumbrarse a la sensación de pasar de un mundo a otro y luego se valieron de su shunpo más veloz, pues debido al desajuste temporal iban un poco retrasados. Pero primer tenían que hacer una parada obligatoria en la tienda de Urahara.- Vamos tarde – refunfuñó Rukia.- A mí no me mires, no es culpa mía – replicó Renji – Podríamos ir directamente. Total, ellos pueden vernos. No necesitamos gigais.- Ya, pero puede que haya más gente. Sería raro que los vieran hablando solos.- Supongo que tienes razón, como siempre – aunque era básicamente lo que hacían siempre, Renji no tenía ganas de discutir, ni siquiera en broma. Ninguno de los dos, en realidad. Esa noche no.Llegaron a la tienda de Urahara lo más rápido posible y se hicieron con sendos cuerpos falsos para moverse con libertad en el mundo humano. El excéntrico gerente, que estaba avisado de su llegada, les tenía preparadas también las ropas formales que le habían pedido.- ¡¿Cómo demonios…?! – un agobiado Renji se peleaba con el nudo de la corbata, presionado por las miradas apremiantes de Rukia. Si hubieran estado en otra situación se habría parado a admirar su atuendo de falda ajustada hasta las rodillas, camisa y chaqueta ceñida. Seguro que, al contrario que ella, él tenía una pinta ridícula con ese traje. Pero no había tiempo ni opciones para discutir. Al final la salvación acudió en forma de Yoruichi, que se paseaba por allí en su forma de gato y se transformó en humana para apiadarse del pobre shinigami. Tuvo que cerrar los ojos mientras la mujer, totalmente desnuda, le ataba la corbata apropiadamente.En cuanto estuvieron listos se fueron, con tan solo una breve despedida de por medio, puesto que regresarían más tarde a por sus verdaderos cuerpos.- ¿No nos acompañáis? – preguntó Renji, extrañado, colocándose una bandana negra para impedir que su larga melena pelirroja le molestara.Urahara y Yoruichi, esta última cubierta solo con el haori verde del científico, compartieron una mirada grave antes de que él respondiera.- Es algo demasiado importante. Solo estorbaríamos.Las palabras cayeron en un pesado silencio al que los dos shinigamis le dieron la espalda, internándose en el laberinto de luces nocturnas de Karakura. Ya eran pasadas las ocho y media.La estación de las lluvias se acercaba, anunciada por el aire húmedo y cargado que se respiraba cuando, a las nueve en punto de la noche, dos humanos y dos shinigamis se reencontraron después de diez años. Normalmente eso no sería posible sin hollows de por medio, pero sus vidas estaban plagadas de excepciones desde que Kurosaki Ichigo apareció en ellas. Le debían muchísimo, por eso, lo mínimo que podían hacer era presentarle sus respetos ahora que ya no estaba.Ishida no sabía si había pasado más tiempo triste, acusando la pérdida, o enfadado, odiando a Kurosaki por haberlos dejado en la estacada. ¿En qué pensaba ese imbécil temerario? En el fondo sabía que no lo podía culpar, que se había dejado la piel y hasta la vida en defenderlos a ellos y a su ciudad. Al final toda su fuerza de voluntad no había sido suficiente contra el poder de Aizen. Lo fue para vencerle pero no para recuperarse después; literalmente, lo había dado todo. Ni los poderes curativos de Inoue pudieron evitar lo inevitable.Inoue. Ishida no tenía palabras para describir cómo le había afectado su muerte. Diez años llevaba cuidando de ella y ya había perdido la esperanza de que se recuperase algún día. Era un fantasma, una cáscara vacía, una sombra de la joven vivaz que había conocido y de la que se había enamorado. Ya ni esos sentimientos le quedaban, se habían transformado en una lástima permanente al ver lo rota que estaba por dentro. Y él no podía arreglarla. Nadie podía. Solo podía ocuparse de ella, quedarse a su lado. Se la había llevado a vivir con él porque no quería que estuviera sola y no había puesto pegas. Se fueron lejos de Karakura en un intento de olvidar pero la distancia no fue bastante para llenar el vacío que Kurosaki había dejado. Desde ese día, Ishida colgó el arco y los poderes de quincy, no quería verse envuelto en nada que le recordara a eso nunca más. Le dejó ese trabajo a los shinigamis y se convirtió en médico, para regocijo de su padre. Gracias a su privilegiada inteligencia consiguió un buen puesto como doctor y con eso se mantenían Inoue y él. Cualquiera que los viese pensaría que tenían una vida normal de joven pareja, pero ni lo uno ni lo otro. Nada más lejos de la realidad.Rukia intentaba como podía deshacerse del molesto nudo en la garganta que se le había formado al ver la tumba de Ichigo. Aun sabiendo de sobra que en ese mundo estaba muerto, verlo resultaba duro e impactante. Al lado del nombre de la familia Kurosaki aparecía el de su madre, Masaki, seguido del suyo. Había un jarro con dos flores frescas y el incienso estaba recién consumido; seguramente su familia habría estado allí no hacía mucho. Contaban con ello y por eso habían decidido reunirse por la noche, para dejarles intimidad. El mismo motivo por el que Urahara y Yoruichi no los habían acompañado. Con o sin ellos, no resultaba fácil estar allí.Ella fue la primera en sentirlo: el reiatsu de Ichigo se había apagado. No era débil, no estaba latente. Había desaparecido y eso solo podía significar una cosa. Con él tenía una conexión especial, no en vano durante un tiempo habían compartido sus poderes. Se había ido y tuvo que afrontar esa verdad delante de su cadáver. Fue como retroceder en el tiempo, como volver a la noche en que Kaien murió. Ni siquiera lo que había sentido entonces se comparaba al dolor por la pérdida de Ichigo, porque si fue capaz de superar lo de Kaien cuando lo veía impensable fue por él, porque al conocerlo le dio un nuevo sentido a su existencia. Pero todo eso se esfumó, su mundo volvió a derrumbarse porque todos a quienes quería acababan marchándose y ella se quedaba allí, sola, viva gracias a su sacrificio. Era demasiado injusto. Entrelazó sus dedos con los de Renji, agarrándole de la mano con fuerza. Ya solo le quedaba él. Al menos habían sido honestos con sus sentimientos porque ya habían sufrido bastante y pasado suficiente tiempo callándose. ¿Y si él se iba también? Podía ocurrir cualquier día, en cualquier misión. Había pasado diez años temiendo que llegara ese momento y no parecía que ese miedo fuera a desvanecerse pronto.Por supuesto, lo había buscado. Si estaba muerto en el mundo real eso significaba que estaría ahora en la Sociedad de Almas, en algún lugar. Se fijó el propósito de encontrarlo, volvería a verlo y podrían estar juntos en su propio mundo. No era fácil pero tampoco imposible. Con el poder espiritual que había tenido en vida debería haberle quedado una buena cantidad en su paso al otro lado, seguro que destacaba en el Rukongai. Lo que le extrañaba era que no hubiera aparecido ya en la academia shinigami por su propia cuenta, seguro que se había dado cuenta de que tenía potencial para ello. Pero fue en vano. No encontró ni una pista y al final se vio forzada a abandonar. Renji tenía razón: aunque diera con él, no conservaría ningún recuerdo de su vida anterior, no los reconocería ni sabría todo lo que habían pasado juntos. Y eso era aún más doloroso que no tenerle. Aunque estuvieran en el mismo mundo ahora, sus caminos se habían separado para siempre.Renji notó el agarre de Rukia y lo correspondió, preso de una enorme frustración. Diez años y todavía no se acababa de creer que ese idiota ya no estuviera, todavía esperaba verle aparecer cualquier día en el Seireitei montando un follón de los de su estilo. Había llegado a conocerlo bien y sabía que era tan cabezota como él o más pero aún no le perdonaba el haberse empeñado en hacerse cargo de todo solo. Al final había sido demasiado para él; si hubieran luchado juntos, seguro que el resultado habría sido muy diferente. Al igual que no le perdonaba hacer sufrir tanto a Rukia. Le había costado sudor, lágrimas y sobre todo mucha sangre comprender que, si él era el hombre de su vida, Ichigo era el otro hombre de su vida. Su vínculo era muy importante y no era algo con lo que pudiera competir porque se trataba de algo completamente distinto. Algo que ella necesitaba en su vida y que él, aun con todos sus esfuerzos, no lograba compensar.Desde entonces, se había entregado a la espada. Durante un tiempo volvió a ser como el Renji que pertenecía a la undécima división, que vivía solo para la lucha porque había perdido lo que más le importaba y debía ser mejor para recuperarlo con sus manos. Volvía a tenerla a ella pero, precisamente por eso, se obligaba a esforzarse al máximo. Ambos eran ahora capitanes y, si bien la mayor parte del tiempo su vida era más tranquila, las misiones siempre eran muy arriesgadas, tal como correspondía a su cargo. No podía permitirse el lujo de que le sucediera lo mismo que a Ichigo; no podía hacerle eso a Rukia. Si la había recuperado fue porque él apareció, así que lo mínimo que podía hacer era ocuparse de que jamás volviera a quedarse sola. Y aunque fuese lo que quería, y estaría más que dispuesto, no podía dar la vida para ello, como hizo él. Por eso tenía que hacerse más fuerte. Ella ya había perdido a uno de los hombres de su vida. No le estaba permitido morir, todavía no.Inoue se preguntó, no por primera ni última vez desde aquel fatídico día, si se habría convertido en un hollow. Le parecía perfectamente posible porque, desde la muerte de Kurosaki, en el lugar donde solía estar su corazón solo quedaba un agujero. Sabía que seguía siendo humana por el simple hecho de que tenía que morir para ser un hollow, pero tampoco se sentía completamente viva. Fue como si alguien hubiera apagado el sol. Como si se hiciera de noche de repente. Le pareció encontrarse de vuelta en su celda de Las Noches, bajo ese cielo falso y opaco, aterrador. No era para menos. Kurosaki iluminaba todo su mundo. Después de todas las batallas que había librado por su causa, al final todo terminaba así. Una vez más le había fallado, fue tarde para curar sus heridas. Su poder era tan débil que no bastaba para salvar de la muerte al hombre que amaba. La decepción consigo misma fue tan grande que no volvió a utilizarlo. Ese día se quitó las horquillas y las guardó como recuerdo de su hermano y de lo que una vez había vivido junto a Kurosaki.A sus compañeros les había pasado prácticamente lo mismo. No tenía sentido seguir después de aquello. Además, una vez vencido Aizen, su papel en una guerra en la que nunca debieron implicarse llegó a su fin. Chad terminó el instituto y regresó a México para encargarse del negocio de su abuelo. Asano, Mizuiro, Chizuru y Tatsuki tampoco habían vuelto a ser los mismos. Y ella ¿qué podía hacer? Siempre había sido optimista, siempre había mirado hasta lo más adverso por el lado bueno, no era de las que se rendían fácilmente. Pero por más que se esforzaba, no conseguía superarlo. No lograba asumir que Kurosaki ya no estaba, que nunca volvería a ver su ceño fruncido ni su sonrisa, ni a escuchar sus amables palabras, ni a sentir sus fuertes brazos protegiéndola. Era desolador. Por eso, todo lo que consiguió fue aferrarse a Ishida como si fuera lo único que le quedaba en la vida. No tenía palabras para expresar el agradecimiento por lo bien que se había portado con ella. Y aun así sentía que había condenado su vida a la misma pena que caracterizaba la suya. Se lo había dado todo sin pedirle nada a cambio, durante diez largos años, en los que ella no había hecho otra cosa que seguir echando de menos a Kurosaki. Se odiaba a sí misma por ello pero por otra parte, sin él no sería capaz de seguir adelante. A veces pensaba que sería fácil enamorarse de Ishida para olvidar a Kurosaki y hacer como que todo aquello nunca había ocurrido. Pero sabía que él nunca lo permitiría. Y ella, que solo quería volver a sonreír como antes, no podía. Lo hacía para él pero los dos sabían que esa sonrisa no era verdadera.Inoue le dio la espalda a la tumba, no soportaba ver Kurosaki Ichigo allí escrito, como un permanente recordatorio de su pérdida. Se refugió en los brazos de Ishida, que la acogió dejando que ahogara los sollozos en su pecho. Estaba segura de que el agujero de su pecho, lejos de cerrarse, solo se hacía más grande cada día.En la tienda de Urahara, Yoruichi salió del cuarto que solía ocupar y que era prácticamente suyo, ya vestida con una sencilla yukata. Le tiró sin miramientos su haori encima al científico, ocupado en servir sendos cuencos de sake. La mujer se sentó a su lado y tomó uno de ellos mientras él se echaba la prenda sobre los hombros antes de hacer lo propio.- ¿Crees que estarán bien? – preguntó con voz queda, sabiendo la respuesta de antemano.- Tú ya lo sabes – respondió el científico, tranquilo, apurando su bebida de un solo trago – Cuando se va alguien tan querido el vacío que deja su ausencia es insustituible. Él era… -carraspeó, sirviéndose otro cuenco.- Kisuke – murmuró la mujer, entristecida. No habían hablado mucho del tema en esos diez años porque los dos habían vivido lo suficiente para experimentar todo tipo de pérdidas. Y, aun así, ese muchacho se había hecho un hueco especial entre ellos. De alguna manera los dos habían sido sus maestros, aunque brevemente. Y ahora sentía que nunca lo habían llorado como se merecía.- …un completo estúpido – completó la frase el hombre, negando despacio con la cabeza a la vez que una sonrisa triste aparecía en sus labios. Tal vez si se hubiera estado quieto, si no hubiera jugado con lo que no podía controlar, si no hubiera creado el hougyoku ni lo hubiera escondido en el cuerpo de Rukia, Aizen no lo hubiera ambicionado y nada de lo que vino después hubiera sucedido. Pero no tenía modo de saberlo. Como científico sabía que no había forma de calcular esa probabilidad.- Los jóvenes tienden a serlo. Y los humanos jóvenes aún más – en ese momento le pesaban los años, aunque su aspecto sugiriese lo contrario y no fuera especialmente mayor, en términos de shinigamis, claro – Pero sin él, seguramente estaríamos perdidos ahora mismo.- Hay tantas variables posibles – reflexionó él en voz alta – Pero supongo que estás en lo cierto. Le debemos mucho a Kurosaki Ichigo. La Sociedad de Almas siempre estará en deuda con él, o eso espero – ambos compartían la misma opinión controvertida sobre el mundo espiritual, por lo que ella se mostró de acuerdo.- No podrán pagarla. No con él, al menos, sino con los que se han quedado. Me preocupan – admitió, acercando su cuenco para que Urahara lo rellenase – Especialmente Inoue.- No es algo en lo que podamos intervenir – le recordó él, haciendo lo que le había pedido – Ahora solo se tienen los unos a los otros, esperemos que con eso baste.- Han pasado diez años y no están mejor que entonces, Kisuke – rebatió ella.- Pues tendrán que pasar otros diez, o veinte, no lo sé. Las vidas de los humanos son cortas en comparación a las nuestras. Kuchiki-san y Abarai-kun estarán bien, eventualmente. En cuanto a los otros… - comprendía la inquietud de Yoruichi al respecto pero, de nuevo, tenían las manos atadas. No había solución mágica o fórmula científica que hiciera desaparecer la tristeza de un corazón herido.- Solo podemos esperar ¿verdad? – terminó la frase por él; sabía demasiado bien como pensaba.- Exactamente – esta vez, la sonrisa que se formó en su rostro era un poco más genuina, aunque no exenta de pesar. Tomó la botella de sake para vaciar lo que quedaba de su contenido en ambos cuencos y, al terminar, tomó el suyo, alzándolo antes de beber – Por Kurosaki-kun.Yoruichi coreó sus palabras antes de tomarse el suyo de un solo trago.- Por Ichigo.
10404714	Does Anyone Notice	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": null, "Characters": "Frank Iero, Gerard Way", "Fandom": "My Chemical Romance", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by Ac3s", "chapters": "3/?", "completed": "", "published": "2017-03-22T00:00:00", "words": "4,481", "Additional Tags": "Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Teen Angst, High School, Alternate Universe, Stream of Consciousness, College, Students, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Implied Relationships, Sexual Content, Non-Explicit Sex", "Relationship": "Frank Iero/Gerard Way", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": "Gen, M/M", "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	They always ended up like this. It just felt natural to hold his hand, or grab on to his arm and tuck himself into the taller man's body. Love kind of felt like looking into his eyes. He really thought love felt like looking at him all day.There was something about it. They could kiss for hours. It was the best thing Frank had ever felt. Just being so close to him and losing track of time. Kissing was the best part. Gerard was his first everything, he had never been with a guy before him. Frank was his first too, but it always meant more to Frank. The sex was never great but Frank liked getting him off. It was sexy to get someone off, he thought. Gerard was never very good at reciprocating, but Frank didn't care. Gerard also wasn't very good at hearing "no," but Frank didn't mind much. Gerard used to tell him how sex was important, and should be taken seriously. After the first time they slept together on the floor of Frank's bedroom without so much as a passing remark about protection, Frank started to think he maybe wasn't so serious about it. He supposed he made too big a deal out of it anyways, and didn't want to upset Gerard. They couldn't actually talk about a lot of things. Talking about sex made Gerard so uncomfortable he wouldn't even look at Frank. Let alone talking during sex, which would result in a total loss. Frank felt like he was repeating himself whenever he brought up how not talking made him uncomfortable, so he just let it go.Frank wanted someone to make him feel loved, and help him slowly navigate coming out and being in a relationship. He wanted the positive support system he never had in his family, the gushing actions of a man who wanted him to be his best self. That was probably too romantic; they were both just closeted teenagers.Still, Frank wanted to believe.They were lying on his dirty shag carpet. Frank had never had cause to keep papers and clothes off his floor before Gerard made it their regular stomping grounds. He doesn't actually remember why it always happens on the floor, but he's a little glad they're not on his bed. Gerard is staring up at the ceiling, on his back. Frank is sitting up against the wall with Gerard's legs in his lap. He doesn't know what Gerard is thinking about, and Gerard doesn't tell him. Frank pulls Gerard's legs in to his chest and breaks the silence first. "I guess this is one way to sixty-nine." He's smiling down at Gerard, who doesn't acknowledge the remark. Instead, he just looks at Frank- pointing his light green eyes in his direction and gazing at Frank's inability to hold a quiet atmosphere for longer than two minutes at a time. Gerard never talks much after they fuck, but Frank knows it's not because he's tired. Frank has a lot of theories as to why Gerard won't talk about sex, their sex, and during sex, but he doesn't know who he would tell them to or how he would confirm them. He's been writing again, but he would never tell Gerard- he doesn't ever want Gerard to distrust him because he's written something so personal. He started writing again when they started dating. It all seemed so new and so fast, he was so amazed someone could be so interested in him. At first they couldn't see each other often because Gerard had gone to live with his dad, so they would email a lot and have phone calls so long they would put each other to sleep. Looking back on those communications, Frank saw it was easier to hang on to every word when you always thought more were coming. Gerard moved back in with his mom after the summer ended, and would stay over at Frank's house a couple days out of the week. Frank would have been mortified if his parents ever walked in on them, but knowing what Gerard had told him about his mother made them decide on Frank's room as the best venue. Gerard usually spoke freely about his mom- things she's done, shit she's said- but only when Frank didn't remark on the things he would say. If Frank were to agree that Gerard's mom could be homophobic and mean, he could say so. If he were to suggest exit plans, bring up college, remark upon the real case for abuse- Gerard would be done sharing for the day.Frank knows it's not his place to judge, or to get involved, but when the air of complete and total apathy sets over Gerard's entire being Frank wants to scream in frustration. There was just so little Frank could do and so little Gerard ever really wanted him to do. They're laying beside each other on a soft couch in Frank's empty living room. They had kissed a bit already, but Frank was so content to lie with Gerard wrapped around him that he had stopped to rest in his arms. It didn't take long before Gerard was trying to kiss him awake. "Noo, come on, don't do that." "Do what? I'm sleepy." "You know... Come on." Gerard kept trying to kiss him hard, and Frank was feeling more and more dread. He doesn't remember when that started happening, but he began to dread even Gerard's visits due to their inevitable outcomes. "Can't we just... Nap? Please... I'm so tired." "Aw no Frank... Please? Lets not do that..." Frank didn't want to keep Gerard waiting, so he finally kissed back and moved to be fully under him. It wasn't a big deal to either of them. Sex was good, they both liked it. Frank doesn't really want to think about having to justify this to himself, he just knows it's better than not having Gerard. Gerard is on top of him, unbuttoning Frank's pants and rubbing him through his underwear. It felt good, of course, but Frank knew it would stop feeling as good. He would always just focus on the kissing then, and let Gerard have a go at it. This time was a little harder to lose himself though, because Gerard was so focused on getting Frank off that he was biting down pretty hard on his lips and making Frank's lip swell. It just wasn't happening for him, and it probably wasn't going to happen soon, so Frank pushed him off and told him he was making his lip swell up. "Really? I was biting?" "Yeah, check it out." Frank looked at himself in the wall mirror while Gerard cast his glance from him to the reflection a few times. Frank could tell this was starting to fall under "talking about their sex," so he quickly interrupted Gerard's thoughts. "It's cool, it'll go away. Maybe I'll do the same to you." He kissed Gerard again, turning them so he could get into Gerard's pants this time and hopefully finish things up so he could sleep and eat and spend some time by himself. Frank felt bad about wanting to be alone so much, but he was starting to feel more and more anxious around Gerard. They just wouldn't talk about the important things, and any time they were alone Gerard wanted to have sex. Frank was uneasy, and unsure of himself. He wasn't getting off and he always felt anxious. But who could he talk to? It was like having a big secret that would hurt anyone you tried filling in. He didn't really want to feel like this because of someone he loved, because of a relationship he wanted. *Gerard never revealed his apathy or his pessimism to his friends. Frank only realized that when he had been invited to a group event at the community college. It was a cultural benefit that had dancing and cheap food, so it was pretty rad. One of Gerard's friends had been feeling stressed about school, and while Frank expected the typical Gerard response about school being unimportant and him failing everything anyways, he heard the complete opposite. Suddenly, Gerard was a beacon of positivity- doling out Cosmo Girl worthy advice and putting bright smiles on everyone's faces. Frank felt out of the loop, and a little cheated.He figured it must be him then, that makes Gerard act differently. He didn't really like being that kind of catalyst. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- It felt like taking a breath after plunging into cold water. It felt like finally breathing, and feeling the searing pain of your lungs attempting to expand. It felt necessary, but excruciating. Frank knew the only way he would be happy is if he weren't with Gerard- but there was nothing he could do. "I just want to kill myself already." "Please don't." "It wouldn't even matter if I did, no one would care." "I would, you know I would." "Ok." "I would call the cops to your house." "Ok, then I guess I'll just do it without telling you."Frank wished that was the only time he had that conversation with him, but they happened every week. He didn't feel qualified to talk someone down, much less a depressed victim of abuse. Frank could offer a million solutions, and Gerard wouldn't hear a single one. Frank liked being around their friends, though.Gerard was a light among their group. He had the biggest smile, the easiest laugh. Always quick to give a compliment and share a treat. Some days, he would bring in bags of candy for his friends just to make their day brighter. Anytime they were around, he was the fun, vibrant person Frank had first met. When they would all hang out, Gerard would grab Frank's hand under tables and rub his feet against Frank's while they were sitting close by. It was sweet, and Frank appreciated the closeness despite being in a crowd. He soon dropped off in affection, though. He became embarrassed at any public display on Frank's part. They used to kiss before heading to class, a quick parting peck, but when Gerard started making faces and pulling away, Frank stopped asking. He couldn't figure out what he kept doing wrong.But he had made a mistake. Gerard was a well known character in all their classes for his kindness and spirit, and was friends with most of their graduating class. Frank never understood how people could be surrounded by so many people at once . He realized as their relationship went on the extreme complex Gerard had- a desperate need to be liked. It was debilitating to the point of anxiety and manifested in showering even the slightest of acquaintances in affection and gifts if only to gain a temporary friendship. Gerard never put that much effort in his relationship with Frank.But therein lie the problem- no one saw Gerard as buying affection. No one knew Gerard as a pessimist, depressive artist who failed his classes on purpose and sat quietly while his mother told him he would never amount to shit- everyone thought he was the brightest star to ever shine on a sullen outcast like Frank.And Frank wouldn't dare darken that star's light, of course.So he couldn't break up with Gerard. He had never known so many people to like him, make plans with him and include him in a group. In a selfish way, he needed Gerard to have more people in his life. But none of them were ever as genuine or as caring as a friend should be, and would leave the minute he ended things with Gerard. It was only a matter of time.Frank had been accepted into an exclusive writing program at NYU for the summer. Two college level writing courses and six weeks of living in the city. He was beyond overjoyed, it had been months of work to secure a creative scholarship. It would be the first time he was ever away from home.He wasn't sure he could leave, but his mother pushed him forward. She had cancer for much of his life, and when it had returned his Sophomore year of high school he had taken care of her every minute he could. Every hospital stay, doctor's appointment, treatment- he was right there by her side. It was never enough for him. He knew he would be broken inside for the rest of his life when she finally passed away.And yet, she insisted."It's our dream, Frankie. And with a scholarship! You can do this. We can finally pay for this and you can start your life. Please don't stop living because of me." "I'm not stopping anything ma, I just don't know if we can afford it. And all that time away from home-" "We'll find a way! There's always a way, and this isn't just for you anymore. I want you to go to New York and live your dream. Our dream, baby! I want to know you're happy and living a life apart from taking care of me because that's all you've been doing. I don't ever see you with friends. Please, do this for me."And Frank couldn't argue with his mother when she let out her monologues. She meant the world to him, and he would do anything to make her happy. Even if it meant leaving her. But she wasn't the only one he would be leaving.Gerard texted him late at night, around the time they had all the conversations that made Frank's stomach hurt."Hey. How long is it again?" Frank stared at the bright screen, stomach already feeling heavy with dread. "6 weeks. Not that long." "Oh." Frank could practically hear the disappointment. He got a series of texts soon after."It's just... Sex is just sex right? It means nothing" Frank bit his lip, knowing where he was going with this already but quietly urging the universe to change his mind. Frank replied. "Yeah, I guess. Why?"The next texts came just as quickly. "Well it's just. You'll be gone a long time And sex doesn't even mean anything So I was wondering if we should just be open, like while you're away we can both just. Do whatever."Frank's heart dropped, lower than he thought it even could. He wanted to be angry or totally accepting. One of those would at least give a specific answer and maybe a way out. But he was only hurt, and feeling more pathetic than he ever thought he could be."Right. Can we just talk about this closer to the summer?" Frank really had no response to Gerard's suggestion, and figured the least he could do is put off the conversation entirely. "Ok, yeah." The conversation didn't end that night, though. Without realizing it, Frank had been thrust back into it time and time again when Gerard would pick fights and play the victim, crying that Frank was "doing something with his life" and Gerard just felt so inadequate being with him. Gerard would pick on him for leaving and bring up the need for an "open" relationship every chance he got. One night, he pulled out all the stops. "I just feel like... What if we're meant to be together, you know? Forever. I want to be with you so bad but what if we mess things up right now? And then we can't be together later? I feel like if we would have gotten together like a year from now that would have been better." Frank stared, and stared, and stared at that message. If this was him saying it, how could he do it over a text? Another message came through."Idk. Just something I think about." Frank was so relieved he was tearing up. He didn't know what to say, and texted the first thing on his mind. "Oh my god, I thought you were breaking up with me." "...I know." And the next month, the sixth month they were together, he said it again. The same paragraph, but this time without an additional clarification. This time, with a plan. "What if we go back to being friends and date other people and then one day we'll be together for real?" Frank couldn't handle it. The sword of Damocles had been over his head for far too long and he hated the insecurity. "If you break up with me, I'm not guaranteeing I'll stick around for you."Always quick to reply, Gerard said: "But doesn't that mean something?"Frank was angry this time. It had been so long, and Gerard was acting like a philosophy major or gigantic fucking stoner. "That doesn't mean anything. Either we're together now, we work through it, and last- or we end things and there's no future for us." "But Frank, I still want to be friends." "I can't do that right now. Maybe talk to me in a month or something but right now I just need to be alone." And Frank thought, it's over. He did it. And he did it over text.But Gerard didn't give Frank space like he wanted. He kept texting over the next few days, checking in or reminding him about assignments. Frank ignored it. Even got his best friend to tell Gerard to fuck off for a bit.Then he begged. "Frank please, this isn't what I wanted. Please answer me." It cut Frank to the core, and he responded. "What did you want?" "I want to be with you, I'm sorry. Can we try again? Please?" And Frank pretended to think about it. But honestly, he had filled the pages of a journal with angry red letters and black pen smudges and hate filled words over how hard it was to breathe knowing Gerard just stopped wanting him.So he accepted it.It was only a few days later when Gerard texted him, but in the morning this time. "Do you think we made a mistake?" They had filled the past few nights with conversation- apologies, promises. Something Gerard had made Frank promise the night they got back together was to "sleep on it" before making big decisions, especially when they fought. Frank had never spoken so candidly to Gerard as he did when they broke up, so of course he had taken it personally.But for Gerard to bring this up again, to act like mutually getting back together was a bad idea when Gerard had been the instigator to both ending things and rekindling things set Frank off like nothing else had. He felt so, so betrayed.Gerard begged him to "sleep on it Frankie, like you promised."And at 7am the next morning, Frank texted back: "Slept on it. I'm not going through this again, it's over." ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- The first time he told Frank he loved him, he asked him to read his mind.They had been lying on the floor together. He couldn't remember if they had just had sex or not. Most likely, they had just finished.The carpet was still the softest thing about lying with Gerard.Frank realized now Gerard never actually said it out loud, but expected him to look into those green eyes and extract the words for himself. After all, Frank had said it first. It should have been easy for him to tell that Gerard was finally ready to say it back.But he wasn’t, and he didn’t.Frank made a series of guesses, from sex to food, and finally, put on a record with the words that might have finally been on his mind, and kissed him on his bedroom floor. Gerard hated being blunt, couldn’t stand to be held accountable, and absolutely refused to speak his mind.The first time Frank said he loved him was an accident.Frank had gotten so used to saying it casually when they were friends, and to good friends otherwise, that in a moment of silly fun he said it between the breaths of a laugh. It was the easiest moment Frank ever had saying I love you.It was the only time it ever felt that easy. The immediate embarrassment and regret that ensued as a result rushed towards his face.It was too early to say, or feel.Gerard ignored it, chose instead to remain silent. The laughter ended quickly.Frank could never say “I love you” the same way again.The next few times he was told “I love you,” they said it first, and he didn’t respond. He didn’t feel like he loved them back, or didn’t know if he felt like he loved them back, and made himself wait until eventually he responded with “I love you too-” having to will himself to just get over it every time. Frank was having sex again. But real sex this time- where they got each other off and felt good about themselves afterwards. In a bed, even. He had been seeing this guy for a few months, made things official the month before. He had been so stressed writing a script for a competition that he needed the release. And this one was so, so sweet. Always offering to help, driving to the campus any time Frank asked to shoot the shit, talk about ideas, or just fuck. Frank knew he was in love, and had known for awhile.And maybe it was the stress, being away from his family, and fearing failure-maybe it was feeling in love.But he said it to him.He wasn't sure how opportune a moment it was, but felt like maybe this one loved him back. "Hey- I'm sorry I-" They were in the middle of having sex, but Frank was about to burst into tears with how much he needed to say it to him. "You good? what's wrong?" He stopped moving, and just held himself above Frank- looking down in concern."Yeah, I'm just- I just really wanted to tell you this and its ok if you don't say it back I just feel it right now and-" he took a breath, and looked into his eyes. "-I really love you right now." But for the second time, Frank didn't get the response he wanted. "Oh...Okay. That's...dangerous" Frank tried to save himself the embarrassment and quickly explained. "I just, I felt it in the moment and you know I think its better to say it now and not regret not saying it later.""What, like, if we die tomorrow?""Yeah, we could get mauled by bears. I'm sorry, I'm weird about this.""I don't think that's going to happen. And don't worry. I'm kind of weird about it too." And then Frank decided to cut his losses and just focus on the sex.It hurt so, so much to think about.In the moment though, he tried to pat himself on the back for being brave and not caring too much.But he knew why he felt so important to him. * This time, when they would lie together, there was no expectation.Frank could fall asleep beside his boyfriend, and he would fall asleep with him.Frank could suggest something other to do, and he would agree. It was great. Until he found himself climbing on top of him and kissing him awake.He would grind down on his still-sleeping body and ask him please... please?And he would be too tired to fuck and leave Frank horny and disappointed lying awake next to him. And when Frank remembered a glimpse of Gerard doing the same to him, he didn't sleep for a week. Frank would stay up all night crying and writing, trying to understand.But what was there to understand? * Frank's boyfriend had an apartment. It was new, still without furniture and barely lived-in. His apartment had a nice, clean carpet. They watched TV for a while and then found themselves grappling at each other, grinding and feeling each other through their clothes with fervor. It felt good, until Frank felt the carpet against his face and the burn all over his body. His boyfriend thrust against him harder and harder and Frank just kept moaning. Maybe, maybe he could ruin the carpet for someone else.Frank's mother had gotten rid of their carpets. The year he entered college they replaced them with wood flooring instead. Frank couldn't stop feeling his skin burn against the floor and he felt far, far away from the empty apartment and into his thoughts instead.Maybe he could burn a hole in the floor where his body was. Maybe he could stain every inch of the bare apartment so thoroughly that when Frank finally ended it, there would be someone else with a million memories and no one left. They moved onto the air mattress. When Frank had to leave, he took everything with him.Somehow he knew there was no way he would ever leave a mark so significant on someone else.Those kinds of scars had to be made with a sharper razor. * He was up all night again.He had thrown it all away.Was it worth it? No pictures, no gifts, no notes.Nothing to read and reread and guess that maybe he did really love him- even if it didn't last.But all he found was a couple of photos Gerard had yelled at Frank for taking, and a copy of Catcher in the Rye.Frank burned with shame and anger over the thought.Gerard had probably never loved him, and there was Frank three years later asking why. * There was so much regret in his life. Rutgers instead of NYU, Psychology instead of writing, getting into another relationship. He had been with someone briefly that summer at NYU, but he was a closeted virgin who was really more of a friend than a partner. Frank had been proud of himself for getting into another relationship after Gerard.But it didn't mean as much.To the virgin, it meant a little more. In retrospect, Frank felt bad for the way he ended things and how carelessly he treated the relationship like a casual encounter. He was terrified of being like Gerard in that respect. There was a brief period of just sleeping with girls because it was easier than dealing with closet cases or falling in love. But Gerard.From what Frank knew, Gerard was happy. Gerard was fine.He was in the same relationship he left Frank to be with.It had been years. With him, Frank saw, Gerard didn't constantly threaten to kill himself.Gerard didn't want to fuck other people just because they went to different colleges. Gerard didn't feel inadequate or pessimistic or depressed. So, in the end-it was just Frank.

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