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it's impossible to indulge the fanciful daydreams of janice beard ( eileen walsh ) when her real-life persona is so charmless and vacant .
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it wasn't the subject matter that ultimately defeated the film…it was the unfulfilling , incongruous , " wait a second , did i miss something ? " ending .
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this is a movie where the most notable observation is how long you've been sitting still .
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poor editing , bad bluescreen , and ultra-cheesy dialogue highlight the radical action .
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it's super- violent , super-serious and super-stupid .
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so earnest and well-meaning , and so stocked with talent , that you almost forget the sheer , ponderous awfulness of its script .
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just a string of stale gags , with no good inside dope , and no particular bite .
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it's splash without the jokes .
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the château would have been benefited from a sharper , cleaner script before it went in front of the camera . not to mention a sharper , cleaner camera lens .
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shallow , noisy and pretentious .
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morrissette has performed a difficult task indeed - he's taken one of the world's most fascinating stories and made it dull , lifeless , and irritating .
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granddad of le nouvelle vague , jean-luc godard continues to baffle the faithful with his games of hide-and-seek .
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this loud and thoroughly obnoxious comedy about a pair of squabbling working-class spouses is a deeply unpleasant experience .
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it's better than the phantom menace . but unless you're an absolute raving star wars junkie , it isn't much fun .
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philosophically , intellectually and logistically a mess .
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a standard police-oriented drama that , were it not for de niro's participation , would have likely wound up a tnt original .
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coupling disgracefully written dialogue with flailing bodily movements that substitute for acting , circuit is the awkwardly paced soap opera-ish story .
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hollywood ending just isn't very funny .
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though clearly well-intentioned , this cross-cultural soap opera is painfully formulaic and stilted .
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a technical triumph and an extraordinary bore .
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i can easily imagine benigni's pinocchio becoming a christmas perennial . coal isn't as easy to come by as it used to be and this would be a worthy substitute for naughty children's stockings .
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two hours of junk .
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ends up being mostly about ravishing costumes , eye-filling , wide-screen production design and joan's wacky decision to stand by her man , no matter how many times he demonstrates that he's a disloyal satyr .
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self-congratulatory , misguided , and ill-informed , if nonetheless compulsively watchable .
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a clumsily manufactured exploitation flick , a style-free exercise in manipulation and mayhem .
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the whole affair , true story or not , feels incredibly hokey . . . [it] comes off like a hallmark commercial .
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what's missing is what we call the 'wow' factor .
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the nicest thing that can be said about stealing harvard ( which might have been called freddy gets molested by a dog ) is that it's not as obnoxious as tom green's freddie got fingered .
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. . . tara reid plays a college journalist , but she looks like the six-time winner of the miss hawaiian tropic pageant , so i don't know what she's doing in here . . .
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the young stars are too cute ; the story and ensuing complications are too manipulative ; the message is too blatant ; the resolutions are too convenient .
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normally , rohmer's talky films fascinate me , but when he moves his setting to the past , and relies on a historical text , he loses the richness of characterization that makes his films so memorable .
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i highly recommend irwin , but not in the way this film showcases him .
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it's been 13 months and 295 preview screenings since i last walked out on a movie , but resident evil really earned my indignant , preemptive departure .
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this picture is mostly a lump of run-of-the-mill profanity sprinkled with a few remarks so geared toward engendering audience sympathy that you might think he was running for office -- or trying to win over a probation officer .
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malone does have a gift for generating nightmarish images that will be hard to burn out of your brain . but the movie's narrative hook is way too muddled to be an effectively chilling guilty pleasure .
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though it goes further than both , anyone who has seen the hunger or cat people will find little new here , but a tasty performance from vincent gallo lifts this tale of cannibal lust above the ordinary .
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a blair witch- style adventure that plays like a bad soap opera , with passable performances from everyone in the cast .
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diaz wears out her welcome in her most charmless performance
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it is too bad that this likable movie isn't more accomplished . the actors try hard but come off too amateurish and awkward .
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the plot has a number of holes , and at times it's simply baffling .
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an ill-conceived jumble that's not scary , not smart and not engaging .
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brainless , but enjoyably over-the-top , the retro gang melodrama , deuces wild represents fifties teen-gang machismo in a way that borders on rough-trade homo-eroticism .
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gets bogged down by an overly sillified plot and stop-and-start pacing .
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utter mush . . . conceited pap .
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" what john does is heroic , but we don't condone it , " one of the film's stars recently said , a tortuous comment that perfectly illustrates the picture's moral schizophrenia .
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like coming into a long-running , well-written television series where you've missed the first half-dozen episodes and probably won't see the next six .
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this is no " waterboy ! "
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its generic villains lack any intrigue ( other than their funny accents ) and the action scenes are poorly delivered .
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dripping with cliche and bypassing no opportunity to trivialize the material .
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hard-core slasher aficionados will find things to like . . . but overall the halloween series has lost its edge .
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stiff and schmaltzy and clumsily directed .
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the story the movie tells is of brian de palma's addiction to the junk-calorie suspense tropes that have all but ruined his career .
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too many improbabilities and rose-colored situations temper what could've been an impacting film .
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generic slasher-movie nonsense , but it's not without style .
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with tiny little jokes and nary an original idea , this sappy ethnic sleeper proves that not only blockbusters pollute the summer movie pool .
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it sticks rigidly to the paradigm , rarely permitting its characters more than two obvious dimensions and repeatedly placing them in contrived , well-worn situations .
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ever see one of those comedies that just seem like a bad idea from frame one ?
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once ice-t sticks his mug in the window of the couple's bmw and begins haranguing the wife in bad stage dialogue , all credibility flies out the window .
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the best drug addition movies are usually depressing but rewarding . quitting , however , manages just to be depressing , as the lead actor phones in his autobiographical performance .
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it would be great to see this turd squashed under a truck , preferably a semi .
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in the end , all you can do is admire the ensemble players and wonder what the point of it is .
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for most movies , 84 minutes is short , but this one feels like a life sentence .
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while glover , the irrepressible eccentric of river's edge , dead man and back to the future , is perfect casting for the role , he represents bartleby's main overall flaw .
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something has been lost in the translation . . . another routine hollywood frightfest in which the slack execution italicizes the absurdity of the premise .
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shatner is probably the funniest person in the film , which gives you an idea just how bad it was .
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tries so hard to be quirky and funny that the strain is all too evident .
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as immaculate as stuart little 2 is , it could be a lot better if it were , well , more adventurous .
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simply a re-hash of the other seven films .
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with jump cuts , fast editing and lots of pyrotechnics , yu clearly hopes to camouflage how bad his movie is . he fails .
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i found myself more appreciative of what the director was trying to do than of what he had actually done .
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a very depressing movie of many missed opportunities .
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goes on and on to the point of nausea .
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by turns numbingly dull-witted and disquietingly creepy .
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boy , has this franchise ever run out of gas .
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one problem with the movie , directed by joel schumacher , is that it jams too many prefabricated story elements into the running time .
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the comedy is nonexistent .
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. . . a bland , pretentious mess .
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it's a pedestrian , flat drama that screams out 'amateur' in almost every frame .
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a bland animated sequel that hardly seems worth the effort .
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it's not just the vampires that are damned in queen of the damned -- the viewers will feel they suffer the same fate .
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if religious films aren't your bailiwick , stay away . otherwise , this could be a passable date film .
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this is the case of a pregnant premise being wasted by a script that takes few chances and manages to insult the intelligence of everyone in the audience .
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the pace and the visuals are so hyped up that a curious sense of menace informs everything .
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stuffy , full of itself , morally ambiguous and nothing to shout about .
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it is most of the things costner movies are known for ; it's sanctimonious , self-righteous and so eager to earn our love that you want to slap it .
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don't let the subtitles fool you ; the movie only proves that hollywood no longer has a monopoly on mindless action .
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chai's structure and pacing are disconcertingly slack .
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to be oblivious to the existence of this film would be very sweet indeed .
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the director , with his fake backdrops and stately pacing , never settles on a consistent tone .
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one just waits grimly for the next shock without developing much attachment to the characters .
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instead of panoramic sweep , kapur gives us episodic choppiness , undermining the story's emotional thrust .
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the director seems to take an unseemly pleasure in [the characters'] misery and at the same time to congratulate himself for having the guts to confront it .
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this dubious product of a college-spawned ( colgate u . ) comedy ensemble known as broken lizard plays like a mix of cheech and chong and chips .
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the movie doesn't think much of its characters , its protagonist , or of us .
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super troopers is an odd amalgam of comedy genres , existing somewhere between the often literal riffs of early zucker brothers/abrahams films , and the decidedly foul stylings of their post-modern contemporaries , the farrelly brothers .
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. . . will always be remembered for the 9-11 terrorist attacks . after seeing the film , i can tell you that there's no other reason why anyone should bother remembering it .
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made me feel uneasy , even queasy , because [solondz's] cool compassion is on the border of bemused contempt .
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as a kind of colorful , dramatized pbs program , frida gets the job done . but , for that , why not watch a documentary ?
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with minimal imagination , you could restage the whole thing in your bathtub .
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nights feels more like a quickie tv special than a feature film . . . it's not even a tv special you'd bother watching past the second commercial break .
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