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the predominantly amateur cast is painful to watch , so stilted and unconvincing are the performances .
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who are 'they' ? well , they're 'they' . they're the unnamed , easily substitutable forces that serve as whatever terror the heroes of horror movies try to avoid . they exist for hushed lines like " they're back ! " , " they're out there ! " and " they're coming ! "
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elegantly crafted but emotionally cold , a puzzle whose intricate construction one can admire but is difficult to connect with on any deeper level .
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were dylan thomas alive to witness first-time director ethan hawke's strained chelsea walls , he might have been tempted to change his landmark poem to , 'do not go gentle into that good theatre . '
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the story has its redundancies , and the young actors , not very experienced , are sometimes inexpressive .
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i'm sure the filmmaker would disagree , but , honestly , i don't see the point . it's a visual rorschach test and i must have failed .
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the film is really closer to porn than a serious critique of what's wrong with this increasingly pervasive aspect of gay culture .
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murder by numbers just doesn't add up .
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clare peploe's airless movie adaptation could use a little american pie-like irreverence .
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video games are more involving than this mess .
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clayburgh and tambor are charming performers ; neither of them deserves eric schaeffer .
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a pale xerox of other , better crime movies .
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. . . a hokey piece of nonsense that tries too hard to be emotional .
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illiterate , often inert sci-fi action thriller .
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a perfect example of rancid , well-intentioned , but shamelessly manipulative movie making .
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the adventure doesn't contain half the excitement of balto , or quarter the fun of toy story 2 .
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essentially a collection of bits -- and they're all naughty .
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a mess . the screenplay does too much meandering , norton has to recite bland police procedural details , fiennes wanders around in an attempt to seem weird and distanced , hopkins looks like a drag queen .
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the screenplay by james eric , james horton and director peter o'fallon . . . is so pat it makes your teeth hurt .
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before it takes a sudden turn and devolves into a bizarre sort of romantic comedy , steven shainberg's adaptation of mary gaitskill's harrowing short story . . . is a brilliantly played , deeply unsettling experience .
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solaris is rigid and evasive in ways that soderbergh's best films , " erin brockovich , " " out of sight " and " ocean's eleven , " never were .
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seems like something american and european gay movies were doing 20 years ago .
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in the process of trimming the movie to an expeditious 84 minutes , director roger kumble seems to have dumped a whole lot of plot in favor of . . . outrageous gags .
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you can see the would-be surprises coming a mile away , and the execution of these twists is delivered with a hammer . thumbs down .
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the characters are paper thin and the plot is so cliched and contrived that it makes your least favorite james bond movie seem as cleverly plotted as the usual suspects .
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. . . del toro maintains a dark mood that makes the film seem like something to endure instead of enjoy .
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the movie eventually snaps under the strain of its plot contrivances and its need to reassure .
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the real question this movie poses is not 'who ? ' but 'why ? '
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now here's a sadistic bike flick that would have made vittorio de sica proud .
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a movie that's about as overbearing and over-the-top as the family it depicts .
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a movie in which laughter and self-exploitation merge into jolly soft-porn 'empowerment . '
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occasionally interesting but essentially unpersuasive , a footnote to a still evolving story .
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if we're to slap protagonist genevieve leplouff because she's french , do we have that same option to slap her creators because they're clueless and inept ?
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moretti plays giovanni , a psychiatrist who predictably finds it difficult to sustain interest in his profession after the family tragedy . too predictably , in fact .
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alternative medicine obviously has its merits . . . but ayurveda does the field no favors .
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this thing works on no level whatsoever for me .
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it follows the basic plot trajectory of nearly every schwarzenegger film : someone crosses arnie . arnie blows things up .
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ice age posits a heretofore unfathomable question : is it possible for computer-generated characters to go through the motions ?
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an incoherent jumble of a film that's rarely as entertaining as it could have been .
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. . . they missed the boat .
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more dutiful than enchanting . . . terribly episodic and lacking the spark of imagination that might have made it an exhilarating treat .
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laconic and very stilted in its dialogue , this indie flick never found its audience , probably because it's extremely hard to relate to any of the characters .
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the comedy death to smoochy is a rancorous curiosity : a movie without an apparent audience .
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barney's ideas about creation and identity don't really seem all that profound , at least by way of what can be gleaned from this three-hour endurance test built around an hour's worth of actual material .
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affleck merely creates an outline for a role he still needs to grow into , a role that ford effortlessly filled with authority .
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cinematic pyrotechnics aside , the only thing avary seems to care about are mean giggles and pulchritude . it makes sense that he went back to school to check out the girls -- his film is a frat boy's idea of a good time .
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the narrative is so consistently unimaginative that probably the only way to have saved the film is with the aid of those wisecracking mystery science theater 3000 guys .
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nothing more or less than an outright bodice-ripper -- it should have ditched the artsy pretensions and revelled in the entertaining shallows .
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a living testament to the power of the eccentric and the strange . the fact that it isn't very good is almost beside the point .
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feels less like a cousin to blade runner than like a bottom-feeder sequel in the escape from new york series .
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what might have been acceptable on the printed page of iles' book does not translate well to the screen .
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if oscar had a category called best bad film you thought was going to be really awful but wasn't , guys would probably be duking it out with the queen of the damned for the honor .
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a poky and pseudo-serious exercise in sham actor workshops and an affected malaise .
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mediocre fable from burkina faso .
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fessenden has nurtured his metaphors at the expense of his narrative , but he does display an original talent .
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since the movie is based on a nicholas sparks best seller , you know death is lurking around the corner , just waiting to spoil things .
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bottom-rung new jack city wannabe .
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fincher takes no apparent joy in making movies , and he gives none to the audience .
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it's mildly amusing , but i certainly can't recommend it .
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nicholas nickleby celebrates the human spirit with such unrelenting dickensian decency that it turned me ( horrors ! ) into scrooge .
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fear dot com is more frustrating than a modem that disconnects every 10 seconds .
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full of flatulence jokes and mild sexual references , kung pow ! is the kind of movie that's critic-proof , simply because it aims so low .
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may cause you to bite your tongue to keep from laughing at the ridiculous dialog or the oh-so convenient plot twists .
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there are just too many characters saying too many clever things and getting into too many pointless situations . where's the movie here ?
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a dark , dull thriller with a parting shot that misfires .
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lacking substance and soul , crossroads comes up shorter than britney's cutoffs .
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cassavetes thinks he's making dog day afternoon with a cause , but all he's done is to reduce everything he touches to a shrill , didactic cartoon .
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buries an interesting storyline about morality and the choices we make underneath such a mountain of clichés and borrowed images that it might more accurately be titled mr . chips off the old block .
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although sensitive to a fault , it's often overwritten , with a surfeit of weighty revelations , flowery dialogue , and nostalgia for the past and roads not taken .
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it's so badly made on every level that i'm actually having a hard time believing people were paid to make it .
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without non-stop techno or the existential overtones of a kieslowski morality tale , maelström is just another winter sleepers .
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nicks , seemingly uncertain what's going to make people laugh , runs the gamut from stale parody to raunchy sex gags to formula romantic comedy .
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'a' for creativity but comes across more as a sketch for a full-length comedy .
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if there's one thing this world needs less of , it's movies about college that are written and directed by people who couldn't pass an entrance exam .
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the script kicks in , and mr . hartley's distended pace and foot-dragging rhythms follow .
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[e]ventually , every idea in this film is flushed down the latrine of heroism .
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i am sorry that i was unable to get the full brunt of the comedy .
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no telegraphing is too obvious or simplistic for this movie .
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looks and feels like a project better suited for the small screen .
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in its best moments , resembles a bad high school production of grease , without benefit of song .
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indifferently implausible popcorn programmer of a movie .
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it's inoffensive , cheerful , built to inspire the young people , set to an unending soundtrack of beach party pop numbers and aside from its remarkable camerawork and awesome scenery , it's about as exciting as a sunburn .
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his comedy premises are often hackneyed or just plain crude , calculated to provoke shocked laughter , without following up on a deeper level .
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christina ricci comedy about sympathy , hypocrisy and love is a misfire .
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at times , the suspense is palpable , but by the end there's a sense that the crux of the mystery hinges on a technicality that strains credulity and leaves the viewer haunted by the waste of potential .
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they should have called it gutterball .
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thekids will probably stay amused at the kaleidoscope of big , colorful characters . mom and dad can catch some quality naptime along the way .
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it's too self-important and plodding to be funny , and too clipped and abbreviated to be an epic .
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the best that can be said about the work here of scottish director ritchie . . . is that he obviously doesn't have his heart in it .
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less dizzying than just dizzy , the jaunt is practically over before it begins .
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slick piece of cross-promotion .
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taylor appears to have blown his entire budget on soundtrack rights and had nothing left over for jokes .
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it believes it's revealing some great human truths , when , in reality , it's churning ground that has long passed the point of being fertile .
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by turns pretentious , fascinating , ludicrous , provocative and vainglorious .
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it all drags on so interminably it's like watching a miserable relationship unfold in real time .
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villeneuve spends too much time wallowing in bibi's generic angst ( there are a lot of shots of her gazing out windows ) .
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[t]here's only so much anyone can do with a florid , overplotted , anne rice rock 'n' roll vampire novel before the built-in silliness of the whole affair defeats them .
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it's another video movie photographed like a film , with the bad lighting that's often written off as indie film naturalism .
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the techno tux is good for a few laughs , as are chan and hewitt , but when such a good design turns out to be a cheap knockoff , we can't recommend anything but a rental for the tuxedo .
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i got a headache watching this meaningless downer .
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