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one minute , you think you're watching a serious actioner ; the next , it's as though clips from the pink panther strikes again and/or sailor moon have been spliced in .
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what happened with pluto nash ? how did it ever get made ?
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we may never think of band camp as a geeky or nerdy thing again .
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opens as promising as any war/adventure film you'll ever see and dissolves into a routine courtroom drama , better suited for a movie titled " glory : a soldier's story . "
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the result is solemn and horrifying , yet strangely detached .
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these spiders can outrun a motorcycle and wrap a person in a sticky cocoon in seconds , but they fall short of being interesting or entertaining .
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a less-than-thrilling thriller .
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a long slog for anyone but the most committed pokemon fan .
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matthew mcconaughey tries , and fails , to control the screen with swaggering machismo and over-the-top lunacy .
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how on earth , or anywhere else , did director ron underwood manage to blow $100 million on this ?
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everyone connected to this movie seems to be part of an insider clique , which tends to breed formulaic films rather than fresh ones .
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with a story inspired by the tumultuous surroundings of los angeles , where feelings of marginalization loom for every dreamer with a burst bubble , the dogwalker has a few characters and ideas , but it never manages to put them on the same path .
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its lack of quality earns it a place alongside those other two recent dumas botch-jobs , the man in the iron mask and the musketeer .
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a benign but forgettable sci-fi diversion .
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the plot grinds on with yawn-provoking dullness .
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it's never a good sign when a film's star spends the entirety of the film in a coma . it's a worse sign when you begin to envy her condition .
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it doesn't help that the director and cinematographer stephen kazmierski shoot on grungy video , giving the whole thing a dirty , tasteless feel .
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desperately unfunny when it tries to makes us laugh and desperately unsuspenseful when it tries to make us jump out of our seats .
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this film's relationship to actual tension is the same as what christmas-tree flocking in a spray can is to actual snow : a poor -- if durable -- imitation .
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john mctiernan's botched remake may be subtler than norman jewison's 1975 ultraviolent futuristic corporate-sports saga . it's also stupider .
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director dirk shafer and co-writer greg hinton ride the dubious divide where gay porn reaches for serious drama .
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borrows from so many literary and cinematic sources that this future world feels absolutely deja vu .
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as [the characters] get more depressed , the story gets more tiresome , especially as it continues to mount a conspicuous effort to be profound .
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the acting by the over-25s lacks spark , with csokas particularly unconnected .
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though howard demonstrates a great eye as a director , this southern gothic drama is sadly a tough sit , with an undeveloped narrative and enough flashbacks and heavy-handed metaphors to choke a horse -- or at least slow him down to a canter .
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falters when it takes itself too seriously and when it depends too heavily on its otherwise talented cast to clown in situations that aren't funny .
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the fight scenes are fun , but it grows tedious .
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anyone who can count to five ( the film's target market ? ) can see where this dumbed-down concoction is going .
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all this turns out to be neither funny nor provocative - only dull .
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demme's loose approach kills the suspense .
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this idea has lost its originality . . . and neither star appears very excited at rehashing what was basically a one-joke picture .
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[plays] in broad outline as pandering middle-age buddy-comedy .
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the film is itself a sort of cinematic high crime , one that brings military courtroom dramas down very , very low .
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nothing more than a mediocre trifle .
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a turgid little history lesson , humourless and dull .
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too silly to be frightening , too stolid to be funny , it projects the same lazy affability as its nominal star , david arquette .
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if kaufman kept cameron diaz a prisoner in a cage with her ape , in his latest , he'd have them mate .
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trivial where it should be profound , and hyper-cliched where it should be sincere .
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it would be hard to think of a recent movie that has worked this hard to achieve this little fun .
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theology aside , why put someone who ultimately doesn't learn at the center of a kids' story ?
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all that ( powerpuff girls ) charm is present in the movie , but it's spread too thin .
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sometimes smart but more often sophomoric .
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the ill-conceived modern-day ending falls flat where it should deliver a moral punch .
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collateral damage is , despite its alleged provocation post-9/11 , an antique , in the end . as are its star , its attitude and its obliviousness .
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dawdles and drags when it should pop ; it doesn't even have the virtue of enough mindless violence to break up the tedium of all its generational bonding .
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its save-the-planet message clashes with its crass marketing .
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a great idea becomes a not-great movie .
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. . . watching this film nearly provoked me to take my own life . and if the hours wins 'best picture' i just might .
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by the end , i was looking for something hard with which to bludgeon myself unconscious .
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not a movie but a live-action agitprop cartoon so shameless and coarse , it's almost funny .
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feels like six different movies fighting each other for attention .
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life is a crock -- or something like it .
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made by jackasses for jackasses .
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despite a powerful portrayal by binoche , it's a period romance that suffers from an overly deliberate pace and uneven narrative momentum .
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the picture is a primer on what happens when lack of know-how mixes with lack of give-a-damn .
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bartleby is a one-joke movie , and a bad joke at that .
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disjointed parody .
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given that both movies expect us to root for convicted violent felons over those assigned to protect us from same , we need every bit of sympathy the cons can muster ; this time , there isn't much .
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a bravura exercise in emptiness .
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philip k . dick must be turning in his grave , along with my stomach .
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despite the premise of a good story . . . it wastes all its star power on cliched or meaningless roles .
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all prints of this film should be sent to and buried on pluto .
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not only does the movie fail to make us part of its reality , it fails the most basic relevancy test as well .
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first good , then bothersome . excellent acting and direction .
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this goofy gangster yarn never really elevates itself from being yet another earnestly generic crime-busting comic vehicle -- a well-intentioned remake that shows some spunk and promise but fails to register as anything distinctive or daring
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it's difficult to say whether the tuxedo is more boring or embarrassing--i'm prepared to call it a draw .
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even as lame horror flicks go , this is lame .
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so routine , familiar and predictable , it raises the possibility that it wrote itself as a newly automated final draft computer program .
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sunshine state lacks the kind of dynamic that limbo offers , and in some ways is a rather indulgent piece .
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even legends like alfred hitchcock and john huston occasionally directed trifles . . . so it's no surprise to see a world-class filmmaker like zhang yimou behind the camera for a yarn that's ultimately rather inconsequential .
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a long-winded , predictable scenario .
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too close to phantom menace for comfort .
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. . . silly humbuggery . . .
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although trying to balance self-referential humor and a normal ol' slasher plot seemed like a decent endeavor , the result doesn't fully satisfy either the die-hard jason fans or those who can take a good joke .
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too clunky and too busy ribbing itself to be truly entertaining .
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this movie is about lying , cheating , but loving the friends you betray .
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it smacks of purely commercial motivation , with no great love for the original .
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melanie eventually slugs the yankee . too bad the former murphy brown doesn't pop reese back .
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at the bottom rung of the series' entries .
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a real clunker . a well-made , thoughtful , well-acted clunker , but a clunker nonetheless .
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a dreary rip-off of goodfellas that serves as a muddled and offensive cautionary tale for hispanic americans .
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the picture , scored by a perversely cheerful marcus miller accordion/harmonica/banjo abomination , is a monument to bad in all its florid variety .
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good for a few unintentional laughs , " extreme ops " was obviously made for the " xxx " crowd , people who enjoy mindless action without the benefit of decent acting , writing , and direction .
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a big , baggy , sprawling carnival of a movie , stretching out before us with little rhyme or reason .
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a frustrating combination of strained humor and heavy-handed sentimentality .
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lawrence preaches strictly to the converted .
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as written by michael berg and michael j . wilson from a story by wilson , this relentless , all-wise-guys-all-the-time approach tries way too hard and gets tiring in no time at all .
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will probably stay in the shadow of its two older , more accessible qatsi siblings .
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just when the movie seems confident enough to handle subtlety , it dives into soapy bathos .
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choppy editing and too many repetitive scenes spoil what could have been an important documentary about stand-up comedy .
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. . . the film falls back on the same old formula of teen sex , outrageous pranks and scenes designed to push the envelope of bad taste for laughs .
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the only thing in pauline and paulette that you haven't seen before is a scene featuring a football field-sized oriental rug crafted out of millions of vibrant flowers .
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if you're looking for comedy to be served up , better look elsewhere .
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it virtually defines a comedy that's strongly mediocre , with funny bits surfacing every once in a while .
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an instant candidate for worst movie of the year .
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despite its title , amy's orgasm is not a porno , though it is as tedious as one .
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like a tone-deaf singer at a benefit concert , john q . is a bad movie appearing on behalf of a good cause .
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adam sandler is to gary cooper what a gnat is to a racehorse .
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what kids will discover is a new collectible . what parents will suspect is that they're watching a 76-minute commercial .
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beers , who , when she's given the right lines , can charm the paint off the wall . . . [but] the script goes wrong at several key junctures .
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