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• Name-calling: It is just like cursing. When people stop using demeaning terms (like calling people "stupid" or "crazy"), they stop the expanding cycle of anger that could lead to a rageaholic slip. |
• Threatening: People use threats to manipulate and control others. A threat usually implies "I will leave you or hurt you." It plays to other's insecurities, usually escalates their feelings and, moreover, takes the anger up a notch. |
• Pointing: Note the cliche, "When we point at someone else, we have three fingers pointing back at ourselves." There is the opportunity to stop blaming others for anger problems. |
• Yelling: When people yell, raise their voices, or talk in a mean tone, they fuel their own anger. Many are unaware when they start to raise their voices. People should ask others to respond when the volume is rising and thank them. |
• Sarcasm: Using sarcasm and mocking others is a way of expressing anger and humiliating people they care about. |
• Throwing things: When people throw things, slam doors, or bang walls, they intimidate others and escalate their anger. It is time for them to stop physically showing their anger.[4] |
• Touching: When people touch, hold, or push someone in anger, they are committing a crime. Even if they claim it is self-defense, aggressive touching must stop. A very high percentage of caregivers deluded into thinking they are superior are guilty of this crime.[4] |
• Hero stories: When people recount angry events with themselves as the hero, they get to re-feel those powerful angry feelings, fueling the addiction and seeming to justify those actions. It is important to take responsibility for the anger, not glorify it.[4] |
• Eye-rolling: People can communicate disgust and anger, non-verbally, by rolling their eyes, sighing or making mouth noises. By doing so, that can often raise the level of animosity by inflaming the other person. It is important to recognize what is being done and abstain from doing it. |
• Criticizing: It is not a responsibility to help everyone with anything they haven't asked for help or advice on. Criticizing and lecturing are no longer on the "to do" list.[4] |
• Angry driving: Speeding, angry horn honking, cutting people off, and yelling at other drivers, are major ways to keep anger bubbling. Reformed addicts attempt to drive in a relaxed manner, regardless of how others are driving.[4] |
See also[edit] |
1. ^ "Rageaholic" in Webster's New Millennium of English, Preview Edition (v0.9.7), 2003–2008, Lexico Publishing Co., webpage: Dcom-rageaholic |
2. ^ "Rageaholics Anonymous Stopping the Anger Cycle", adapted from Newton Hightower's Anger Busting 101, Rageaholics Anonymous in Los Angeles, 2007 |
3. ^ "alcoholic - OneLook Dictionary Search", OneLook Dictionary Search, 2008, webpage: OneLook-alcoholic. |
4. ^ a b c d e f g h i j adapted from Newton Hightower's Anger Busting 101. |
External links[edit] |
• Webster's New Millennium Dictionary of English, Preview Edition (v0.9.7), 2003–2007, Lexico Publishing, Co., webpage: Dcom-rageaholic. |
Review: ABC's 'Happy Endings' another lame relationship sitcom |
The last - and probably least - of this season's big trend |
<p>Clockwise from left, Casey Wilson, Elisha Cuthbert, Zachary Knighton, Damon Wayans Jr., Eliza Coupe and Adam Pally in "Happy Endings."</p> |
Clockwise from left, Casey Wilson, Elisha Cuthbert, Zachary Knighton, Damon Wayans Jr., Eliza Coupe and Adam Pally in "Happy Endings." |
Credit: ABC |
If the show they were working on weren't so flat and lacking in laughter, I'd actually feel sorry for the people involved with ABC's "Happy Endings," which debuts Wednesday night at 9:30 and 10 p.m. |
Every TV season has a trend - some theme or premise or casting idea that seems to drift from one pilot to the next until you start to wonder if every development executive is spying on every other development exec. This season's most prominent trend has been three-tiered comedies about groups of friends and/or relatives at different stages of a relationship. The specifics vary, but the basic idea remained in ABC's "Better With You," NBC's "Perfect Couples," FOX's "Traffic Light" and now "Happy Endings." |
It's also been one of this season's least successful trends. NBC pulled "Perfect Couples" off the schedule several weeks early, and "Better with You" and "Traffic Light" both seem to be playing out the string. |
So as one show after another with this fundamental premise has struggled, if not outright failed, the cast and crew responsible for "Happy Endings" have had to sit on the sidelines, realizing more with each passing week that they, like the other shows, seem to have miscalculated the zeitgeist. No one seems interested in this theme, and that's even with shows that have been better-executed and funnier than "Happy Endings." It's likely a dead show walking, and it hasn't even debuted yet. |
Our sextet this time is centered on Dave (Zachary Knighton from "FlashForward") and Alex (Elisha Cuthbert, aka "24" punchline Kim Bauer), whose long-term relationship flames out spectacularly when she leaves him at the altar. This leaves the rest of their close-knit group of friends - including her sister Jane (Eliza Coupe from "Scrubs"), Jane's husband Brad (Damon Wayans Jr.), Dave's gay best friend Max (Adam Pally) and Alex's panicked singleton pal Penny (Casey Wilson from "SNL") - wondering if they can all stick together as a unit or if they have to pick sides. |
And that question might interest me if these six weren't collectively so unpleasant to spend time with - and that "Happy Endings" seems only vaguely aware of that unpleasantness. It's a show that thinks it's a 21st century "Friends" when it's really a watered-down network version of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia." |
I actually like Coupe a lot. She was one of the best parts of the final two seasons of "Scrubs" (or, if you prefer, the final season of "Scrubs" and the only season of "Scrubs Med School"), the most watchable performer in HBO's unaired Dallas dramedy "12 Miles of Bad Road" and someone I'm generally pleased to see when she pops up in TV guest spots. She has this unapologetic, fearlessly abrasive quality that usually makes an amusing contrast to the nicer characters on the shows she's done. Here, though, everyone's pitched at the same smug, selfish, cartoonish level, insulting and undermining each other at every turn, yet still treating each other - and being treated by the show - as if there's genuine affection underneath it all. |
The stories, meanwhile, are so cliched and/or goofy that the show at times has to apologize for them. In the second episode airing Wednesday, Dave struggles to figure out how to dump a girl when their one-night stand somehow turns into a committed relationship, and as Max and Brad suggest lies and wacky schemes he could try - most of which he has to resort to - someone compares the situation to the plot of a bad Dane Cook movie. A later episode deals with Max's refusal to come out to his parents, which ultimately requires all three women to pose as one of his girlfriends, and Dave to act like he's the member of the group who's gay. |
It's all too frantic, too full of obnoxious people contorting themselves into stupid lies in the service of jokes that never quite land. If I hadn't seen three other similar - but all better in some way - sitcoms this season, I might have slightly more patience due to pre-existing affection for Coupe and Casey Wilson. But I've seen this show before, and I'm as interested in it as the audience at large seems to be so far. |
Alan Sepinwall may be reached at |
Alan Sepinwall |
Sr. Editor, What's Alan Watching |
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Another bull's-eye. I cannot count the times I've been defeated, humiliated, or physically injured immediately after saying the words, "Hey, how hard can it be?" But that never seems to stop me from saying them again. |
"Now," Kathy went on, "Katie's not a Quick Start. She's a Fact Finder. Before she starts a task, she needs to know all about it. She needs to go through the instructions and analyze them for flaws, then get more information to fill in the gaps." |
To my amazement, my daughter nodded vigorously. I've never understood why some people hesitate before diving into unfamiliar tasks or activities. I couldn't imagine wanting more instructions about anything. |
"There are two other typical patterns," Kathy explained. "The people I call Implementors—like Thomas Edison, for example—need physical objects to work with. They figure out things by building models or doing concrete tasks. Then there are the Follow Thrus. They set up orderly systems, like the Dewey decimal system or a school curriculum. |
"And that, Katie," she said, "is why you're having trouble. The school system was created mainly by people who are natural Follow Thrus. It works best for students with the same profile. Your teachers want you to fit into the system, but you have a hard time seeing how it works. If you question the instructions—which you absolutely need to do—they think you're being sassy." |
Katie nodded so hard I feared for her cervical vertebrae. I was stunned. I'd spent years trying to understand my daughter, and a veritable stranger had just nailed the problem in ways I'd never even conceptualized. Katie wanted more instructions? You could have knocked me down with a feather. |
Basic Instinct |
I've told this story in detail because since meeting Kathy, studying her work, and seeing how dramatically it affects people and their productivity, I've become convinced that many of us feel like failures because we don't recognize (let alone accept) that our instinctive methods of acting are as varied as our eye color. Our modus operandi shapes the way we do everything: make breakfast, drive, learn math. Not recognizing natural differences in our conative styles—assuming instead that we're idiots because we do things unconventionally—can destroy that precious sense of self-efficacy. |
Imagine a race between four animals: an otter, a mole, a squirrel, and a mouse. They're headed for a goal several feet away. Which animal will win? Well, it depends. If the goal is underground, my money's on the mole. If it's in a tree? Hello, Mr. Squirrel. Underwater, it's the otter. And if the goal is hidden in tall grass, the mouse will walk away with it. Now, all these animals can swim, dig, climb, and find things in the grass. It's just that each of them does one of these things better than the others. Putting all four animals in a swimming race, say, would lead to the conclusion that one was better than the others, when the truth is simply that their innate skills are different. |
If we're in an environment (such as school, a job, or a family tradition) that asks us to act against our natural style, we feel uncomfortable at best, tormented at worst. Even if we manage to conform, we don't get a high sense of self-efficacy because although we've managed the efficacy part of the equation, we've lost the self. When we fail, we feel like losers; when we succeed, we feel like impostors. |
PAGE 2 of 4 |
From the January 2006 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine |
see all new stories |
Bad Week for Democrats |
Dodd, Dorgan, and a whole lot of unhappy voters. |
It was a bad week to be a Democrat [Editor's Note, January 8]. Will it get worse? The decision by entrenched Sens. Byron Dorgan and Chris Dodd not to run for re-election raised a whole lot of speculation that more of the mighty would fall. Both were reacting to an immensely unhappy electorate. The sour economy is surely a factor, as is discontent with the policies of President Obama and the performance of Congress as a whole. Surely, the tortured progress of the healthcare bill has won few fans for the legislative process. So how bad is it for the Democrats? How did they fall so far so fast? Have they overreached in pushing their agenda? Or is it all just about the bad economy? Most important, will they lose their control of the House and Senate? Please share your thoughts at |
Take the 2-minute tour × |
I've found a faulty connection to my database caused my development WAMP server to crash, even though the software is in working order, but PHP crashed and took the server down. Is there any way to make WAMP server or Apache itself automatically restart on crash? |
Is there any reason I wouldn't want to do this? It's an issue I've had a couple times and I figure even if it crashes and restarts it's better than not being up at all, but I may not be seeing the big picture. |
share|improve this question |
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1 Answer |
up vote 1 down vote accepted |
You can write a watchdog that tries to access a page on your web server and if it fails restarts the server. Run it as a scheduled task every {minute, 5 minutes, half hour, whatever...}. Implementation of this script is left as an exercise for the reader (especially on Windows, but PowerShell is probably going to be your friend). |
You are however missing the Big Picture as you suspect - A failed database connection should cause your site to throw errors, but it SHOULD NOT be knocking the web server down. If this were production I would say roll out the watchdog until you can debug the problem, but since this is your development environment I would spend a day or two figuring out why a faulty DB connection is knocking the whole show down. |
Bear in mind that if it's happening in development it may happen in production one day, and your employer will likely be less tolerant of the entire production environment shutting down than the developers are of the dev environment occasionally blowing up... |
share|improve this answer |
Unfortunately it looks like my PHP cacher crashed it, but the production database is much more reliable than the dev one; it's an IT server everyone and their brother uses for whatever. Thanks for the Powershell Watchdog tip, I think I'll have to look into why my cache is crashing it first though – Ben Brocka Sep 13 '11 at 14:58 |
Solving the crashing problem is the Right Fix - the watchdog is a Quick Fix. If you're using the same cache engine on the production site it's definitely important: One day you will do database maintenance, and the DB will be unavailable for a few seconds. When the DB comes back the web site will be down because it crashed and your pager will be going off :) – voretaq7 Sep 13 '11 at 15:03 |
The DB has been unavailable before though (it's fairly common on dev), so the problem is less clear unfortunately. I got about 15 page loads in with no DB connection before it actually crashed; thought it was a network error at first. – Ben Brocka Sep 13 '11 at 15:17 |
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Your Answer |
What Anime series do u want to see on PS3 and to what Genre? |
#61Nirvanas_NoxPosted 7/29/2013 8:21:56 PM |
artemis21 posted... |
Sword Art Online |
i feel this should be mmo only lol |
Silence is golden but duct tape is silver. |
#62copycat2008Posted 7/29/2013 8:30:48 PM |
samurai champloo - unimusha style gameplay. |
ghost in the shell - Deus Ex style (of course) |
cowboy beboop - multiple story/ending assasins creed type of gameplay, (since they are bounty hunters) |
#63MoonlightSwordPosted 7/29/2013 9:55:01 PM |
Iampony1 posted... |
Jakerific44 posted... |
MoonlightSword posted... |
Cardcaptor Sakura - Action-RPG/Sandbox |
This would actually be really cool. |
And I also want some sort of FMA- Open World and Cowboy Bebop- Shooter kind of game. |
It could work like RDR |
a random event is a card you have to capture.......why isnt that a thing? |
thanks, that's a great idea with the random events, maybe you would just see abnormalities in the world as you run around (like getting caught in an area loop or something) and if you have the means you could try and capture the card, you basically have the whole town at your disposal... using various clow magic to access different areas and a bunch of NPCs that are card related quests as well, could even enlist Li to help for certain cards... and of course Tomoyo would provide replays ^_^ |
Subspace is the best game ever - DZA forever |
#64Seifer_usPosted 7/29/2013 10:12:56 PM |
Paragon-57 posted... |
Bloodlines1191 posted... |
Already made on PS2 many years ago. |
Yeah, but the topic titles says, "On PS3" ... |
Heh, I don't think he realized that Hajime no Ippo has already had several (fantastic) games as well, two of which were released in the U.S. under the name "Victorious Boxers". I'm fond of the GBA one which plays a LOT like Super Punch Out!! |
I actually have the second PS2 Gungrave game signed by Yasuhiro Nightow and producer Toru Kubo because I was there for the Japanese launch of the game in 2004. |
For what I want made, I personally still want that Trigun game that was in the works at Sega before it morphed into Gungrave. I think it'd be a great straight-forward action game with some unique mechanics (i.e. no killing). I'd also like to echo the requests for a Shingeki no Kyojin (Attack on Titan) game, which I'd also like as a straight-forward action game. Ideally, both games would be developed by Platinum. I was quite impressed with the gameplay in Metal Gear Rising (just fix the camera and stupid plot), so I think they could come up with innovative ideas to make those two games work. |
Official Noctis of the Kingdom Hearts III Board |
PSN ID: Shawnji Trophy List: |
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