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LifeProTips
am *almost actuary. so pretty used to teaching myself things, i would say i've learned a great deal from the internet and books. i think i have learned more from self study than i did in college, and my qualifying exams would show that. it's very hard to actually teach yourself something and you have to concentrate on the material you don't like (because that's usually what you don't intuitively understand) it's more than possible, but it's *so* like hard, and getting people to sit down and spend time learning and then actually applying mathematics is like ... hard. no i don't think pay to play MOOCs are worth it, there are free materials are out there, read them, don't be a sucker. also nice to see what books they chose for their courses, especially when it's new and you are not sure where to begin.
LifeProTips
I think it's all bullshit that you need formal education. I have a physics degree and almost all of my most marketable skills are self taught. I work through books in the same way I did at school... It really isn't difficult. School is good for diversity of ideas, though. To add, I'm also doing the Georgia tech Masters right now and whilst it facilitates my learning, I pretty much learn the way they structure the course anyway...
LifeProTips
Machine-learning and data science is a fairly crowded field at this point. I'm not sure how easy it is to break into. But there are plenty of specialized courses available on those topics (I'd still look at the foundational algorithms course I linked, though). Python is a good, general purpose language so you won't do wrong if you concentrate on improving your python skills at the expense of dabbling in other languages.
LifeProTips
> As a founder you should be able to inspire people, not just lean on them. You say tomato. I say tomato. There's different tactics for different people. I gave an example but if I REALLY wanted someone as a developer then my approach is going to be different. If I simply need more developers and one is presented to me, then I'm more prone to lean on them. I guess that comes down to the quality of the applicant. There's also a recognition from my side that if I lean too hard on someone they're going to perform poorly because they feel screwed. You have to understand that boundary as well.
LifeProTips
Nah that’s just poor humaning. You can take into account the positive and negative gossip, add it to how the person acts irl and you’ll get a fuller picture. I work with a bunch of 20something girls, of course there’s tiffs, gossip, and miscommunications. But we have a good environment because we don’t take a single angle when thinking about our coworkers, we try to communicate as much as we can to understand each other and get along. Some of us get along better than others, some are good friends outside of work, but even through the gossip and negativity nobody really hates anyone. We just know who we get along with better and continue to treat the whole staff with equal respect and understanding. Honestly it’s the best work environment I’ve ever experienced. I am way underpaid for what I do, but I stay because of the dynamic (plus my boss is the kindest person I think I’ve ever met).
LifeProTips
I don’t know. I find that some people take sides based solely on others opinions. Like these people aren’t formulating their own opinions, they’re just siding with the popular vote. I think it can create an unfair snow ball effect of negativity directed towards one person who doesn’t deserve it. It’s like the popular kids making fun of the geek— the minions don’t have any personal beef with the geek, they just make fun of him as well because the most popular kid does.
LifeProTips
Also never take them for granted because one day they will no longer be there. Their life span are so short compared to ours. After 19 years together, I held my baby girl kitty as the vet helped her take her least breath. She was my best friend, and my life hasn't been the same since. I have other kitties now and I cherish every crazy, funny, sweet moment with them, but it's still not the same. She was one of a kind.
LifeProTips
I had to have the vet put down a 15-year family cat yesterday. I've moved away and come home a couple times during his life but he's always been an important cat to me. We knew he was getting close but the actual day that he chose to go took us by surprise. After living with my mom all that time, he gave up the ghost while she was on a trip and I ended up cradling him to sleep for the last time. Now I wish I could have done more to make his life longer or happier, but I have to remember that he wasn't my responsibility and I have some good memories to take with me. RIP kitties.
LifeProTips
I had a pair of pet rats one time, and their lifespan shocked me to the point that I likely won't get another. I knew I liked rats as pets when I got them, but had no idea their lifespans were so short. It's made worse by how ridiculously personable those critters can be. I've grown up with cats and dogs, but never had an animal with as much personality as those two rats. They were like two tiny furry people, with OCD, in a cage.
LifeProTips
My bff Aussie passed away unexpectedly in April. He was only 8. I know bigger dogs don't get as old, but I thought I'd have at least 4 more years with him. He had not been quite himself for a while, but the vet said he was OK. Two weeks after his exam he was dying and a week after that I had to have him put to sleep. It's absolutely broken my heart. I'm not over it and I don't think I'll ever be. He was my constant companion and the doggie love of my life.
LifeProTips
I adopted my first pair when they were 7-9 months old and thought since they already were on the older side we wouldn't be able to develop a really close bond... Turns out I was dead wrong. My ratto would escape his cage just to climb on the bed and give me nose kisses, then jump on my lap and fall asleep to some cuddles from me. His death devastated me but I liked them so much that in the end I adopted some more.
LifeProTips
I had to put my dog down earlier this year, just one week shy of her 10th birthday. The night before, my kids got emotional because she wouldn’t be here for her birthday, so I ran to the store for some special dog treats, and we sang happy birthday to her. I was just looking at pictures from her last couple of days, and damn if it didn’t hit me in the feels. I miss her something terrible. Even though I have three kids, the house sometimes feels empty without her.
LifeProTips
I have done and gone so many places with my dog Kiara, she is 8 now, can't jump in the car very well so I have to lift her in on most days but when I see her keeping up wrestling with my other younger dogs it melts my heart. I wanted to take her on a hiking trip on AT for a week but I just don't know if she can do the hike anymore with her bad knees its heart breaking knowing she's limited because I hate leaving her out of mile stone achievements in my life.
LifeProTips
I am already planning to be taking off one or two weeks vacation from work when that time comes because I know for a fact I will be an absolute mess. Got my little guy back when I was in college and working midnights four days a week. I was so burnt out between being tired, all the classes and just needed something to ground myself. Went to Pet store with my girlfriend who was getting stuff for her cat and I went over to the adoption area and looked at the kitties. Came back a couple days later and adopted one who had an eye infection because I felt bad for him. ​
LifeProTips
Heart rats are something special. I've had eight rats (had to stop after my fiance developed allergies to them). Seven of the eight ended up being put to sleep by the vet when their health got too bad. Just old age complications. The only one who passed at home was my heart rat. He never showed signs of illness or anything. I just found him like that one day. To this day I think he planned it like that. It sounds insane, but he's the one I would have had the most difficulty with taking to the vet to say goodbye. I found him right when my SO got home from work. It's like he waited until I had emotional support available. I miss him everyday. It gets easier but it never goes away.
LifeProTips
>I wish cats and dogs lived longer No thanks. There are so many dogs that are hurt by humans and already have to live decades with those injuries that makes it so sad. It'd also be much more of a burden to take on rescues if they lived as long as us. Both my dogs are rescues (a Stabyhoun and a Schnoodle) and the Schnoodle is really quite old now- cataracts, a bad hip, and low stamina. Once he's gone, there might be room for another small dog to join the pack, but in the meanwhile, I just try to take care of him as best I can (I feed him wet food every day regardless of whether it is pricey since he's had a hard life up to this point). My Stabyhoun is happy for the most part, he's got some behavioral issues that stem from his previous owner that if he lived for more decades might grow to be more severe (he's afraid of loud noises like doors slamming or thunder cracking, and he's real defensive about his "safe space"). My point is, while we are starting to see more animal cruelty laws, they just aren't treated well enough by humans in general to think it would be okay for them to live anywhere close to as long as us. They live long enough to have nice, happy lives without having to carry serious burdens for too long.
LifeProTips
I saw a LPT a few months ago when it comes to putting animals down. When you do come to that, try and get the vet to come to your house to do the deed. In the animals last few moments, they won't be filled with fear and anxiety being held down on a metal table at the vet. ​ It might be a little extra money for the home visit, but imo it's well worth. Especially with how much happiness they've provided throughout the years :)
LifeProTips
It's unfortunately a big problem in families where someone has a pet parrot. My parents have 3 pet parrots, two macaws and a conure. The oldest of the birds is 15. Those birds will, without a doubt, outlive both of my parents and eventually become my problem. The birds and I didn't get along when I lived at my parent's house, I'm sure the 9 years I've spent not living there haven't helped that situation. Sometime within the next 15-20 years I'm going to become responsible for three animals who don't like me and who I frankly dislike as well. Sure there are rescues I can (and absolutely will) surrender the birds to...but fuck. There are a lot of animals we can have as pets that we probably shouldn't. We absolutely shouldn't have captive parrots though. They're mean to anyone they haven't chosen as their "mate", loud, powerful, and have the potential to be amazingly dangerous and destructive. It really is unfair to the bird and the vast majority of people the bird will interact with.
LifeProTips
I'm curious about your thoughts on this: While the behavior and personality would probably be different, would you want a cloned version (like a kitten with the same genetics) as your cat? Side tangent: I've had 4 cats now in my life but my current one is a bengal mix and the most social, loving, playful, smart, vocal cat I've ever had. I know Bengals are know for these traits but God damn if he isn't my world and I wish he would live forever. But I think a clone would be pretty cool too. I'd almost rather have that than a new cat? 6mo ago I woke up to him meowing and acting strange and scared at like 2am. He had a random balance issue with his back legs like they kept giving out and he was like falling asleep. I thought he mightve ingested some sedatives and was going to die from a tranq overdose (long story) or something and raced him to a 24 hour emergency only to find out he was okay. Still don't know what happened but I'm still feeling the effects of the trauma and stress it caused me to this day... I feel like I have ptsd or something and worry about him randomly dying or being dead when I wake up :(
LifeProTips
There are birds with lifespans in the 30 year range. My little sister just got one. Her bird is in the parrot family, but is like maybe 8" tall. My sister is 13 and absolutely loves the little guy. He hangs out on her shoulder all day long once she gets home from school. I'm amazed at how clever the bird is, and how much personality he has. It's been interesting learning what foods he does and doesn't like. He's also interesting because if my sister won't let him out of the cage he can throw little temper tantrums splashing his water about and stuff.
LifeProTips
❤️❤️❤️❤️ I just had to put my fur baby of 12 years down, he had a tumor and he was in pain. After 5? That’s just not fair. I have been crying on and off for days. The pain is just, unreal. I haven’t been able to wear mascara... just in case. My other cat is 11 years old and I dread the day her health declines. She’s been wandering around looking for him for days, and she’s super upset she is on a pseudo diet... aka she can’t eat his food anymore. I don’t know if I’ll get another cat before she passes. I love her but she is kind of a destructive asshole so she’ll probably live forever... and live to teach others her bad behavior :/
LifeProTips
I had him from when he was about 3 months old, and we moved about a lot so he was the only real constant in my life, I'm a 25 year old guy and it broke me when he died. I've never cried so hard in my life, when I got home with his empty cage I collapsed in a heap in the hallway, front door wide open just crying my eyes out. The next day at work involved me having to take repeated trips to the freezer to cry, that was when I wasn't just randomly breaking down in the kitchen.
LifeProTips
I feel you. I've never had a pet of mine personally die until he did.. I had him since I was 16. His death reminded me a lot of when my father died.. he died of colon cancer. My cat had an abdominal tumor that killed him in less than 2 months. It was very rapid vs. the 2 year decline of my dads. My cat declined very rapidly over labor day weekend and I barely slept.. and had to call off on tuesday since I was such a mess. I was still a mess on wednesday... I still feel like I could break into tears with the wrong comment. Worst 4 day weekend of my life
LifeProTips
It doesn't take 19 years to develop a personality. That's done pretty early on, just mellows out over the years. I love my furbabies now, don't get me wrong, and if they are with me as long as she was, it will be just as hard. But I had a bond with her I can't explain, that I just don't have with my others. I still love them. Cried when my one got sick. She's all better now.
LifeProTips
If I were to see one up for adoption that looked just like her, I'd take it in a heartbeat. Fortunately for a stray they I got as a feral 7 week old, she was more unique in her looks than typical. However no, I would not clone. She was absolutely beautiful, my dad always said she was the prettiest cat he ever saw, and she carried herself that way. But it wouldn't be her. Part of how she looked was in seeing her personality shine through. She was a bitch, to anyone other than those she lived with. When it came to me, she had a ragdoll's personality. She understood my when I talked, certain words or what I was getting at. Part of our bond was the life experiences we had together. Several moves that never phased her as long as I was there. A couple different SO's in my life. The birth of my son. The death of my dad. A clone be nothing of her spirit. I'd take her spirit in a different looking cat before taking a clone of her.
LifeProTips
This was a first time for me. But in my situation, it didn't matter. She was happy and calm in my arms. Any vet visit prior she was fine as long as I was holding her. She just didn't like being handled by strangers, especially being taken to a different room from me for bloodwork. They had to come get me to calm her. Then slightly sedate her in order to take blood cause at her age then, getting worked up so much was unsafe for her. But I could carry her around their office anywhere without a carrier, as long as she was in my arms. I think the most stressful part for her was having a stranger touching her paw and leg to administer, which would have happened no matter where we were. And by stranger, anyone that didn't live in her house. Even family who visited frequently through her life that she "knew", she did not like. But she adored me, and I her.
LifeProTips
Honestly, the night before the appointment as her health just continued to rapidly decline, I prayed. I prayed to God. I prayed to my dad. To please come take her thru the night so i would not have to make that choice for her. Tearing up now remembering it. I didn't want to have to be there. I didn't want to feel her slip away from me. But i couldn't not be there for her. She stayed by my side all those years through so much, of course i would for her. I was angry the next morning that my prayers weren't answered. But then i realize even if they tried, she wouldn't have left me and gone with anyone. I had to make her go. She would have held on through her misery if I hadn't. It was my final way of showing my love, keeping her in my arms while letting her go. Ok, good cry time. Goodnight.
LifeProTips
I more meant that after 19 tears you would have seen all the slight changes in personality. My famiky has always been a "cat family". My Mum had a really strong bond with Pop - a large ginger cat that had a really bad case of cat flu when he was a kitten. My Mum adored Pop and never really recovered after he passed, he's the only one of our familie's cats to pass quite young. He was 10 at the time. I asked her about it after reading this and she said that no pet could pass her relationship with Pop but she's has different cats now and she n owes they all need love and affection. Sorry for babbling on.
LifeProTips
Easy. Be a better you. * Start working out, or if you "work out" already take it more seriously. Stick with it. Cut the crap out of your diet. * Make yourself presentable. Wash your face. Buy some decent clothes that fit well. You don't have to spend a million dollars or be "fabulous" to not look like a trash bag. * Read actual books. The more interesting books you read, the more interesting conversations you'll have. * Meditate. Discover who you really are, and what you really want. * Find an inclusive hobby that you can develop passion for. Volunteer. Help out others less fortunate than yourself. All of these things build confidence. People like confidence. Someone you like will like you back eventually, and in the meantime literally every other aspect of your life will improve.
LifeProTips
Are you a guy or a girl? If you're a girl, I can't help you. If you're a guy, at least in the US, it doesn't mean anything at all. Women here in the US, as a rule, will almost never show interest in a guy if they don't show interest first. Even things as simple as flirting or eye contact are things that American women, in general, will no initiate. As a guy with chronically low self-esteem/confidence, this is killer for me.
LifeProTips
Many people don't. I don't know you. These are just examples. Don't get hung up on one specific thing, or assume that the list above is all-encompassing and absolute. The takeaway should be to improve yourself first, and seek a partner second. From your comment, it sounds like you could do with developing your empathy, so maybe start with one of the last three suggestions. Or you could assume that you're already perfect and the world owes you the perfect mate for being so infallible, and see how far that gets you. Either way, good luck.
LifeProTips
There are a lot of fiction books that are very entertaining and also manage to explore a lot of scenarios that translate well to conversation. The Postmortal is a pretty good one (a world where they cure aging and most diseases). Reading just helps you train yourself to process things faster, can also help you improve how you speak in subtle ways. Can indeed make you a more interesting person when you have more to talk about and weigh in on in a conversation. Sometimes it's good to set aside contemplation time, there's some apps that do a good job of training mindful meditation in short sessions. Can't remember the name right now but if you or anyone else actually wants to know i'll find it and PM
LifeProTips
Here's the deal. Definitely one of those your mileage may vary kind of deal. Sometimes it's a simple life adjustment, other times it's a radical. You gotta play your own cards. There is no magic formula, it's mostly dumb luck. You could do everything by the book to be the perfect man and turn someone off. You could do everything radically wrong, and attract someone. You gotta be you. You gotta take care of you, because if you can't take care of yourself, how can you be expected to take care of someone else? The end game is marriage, and marriage takes work. A lot of easy work, but if neglected, will burn down the house. Hence why the general advice of working on yourself, to show you won't be a burden to the relationship. You shouldn't offer any less or accept anything less either
LifeProTips
The first thing I was going to say is that you honestly sound like someone who doesn't wash their face, but then I decided it would be counterproductive. Look. I was a geek when that actually meant social rejection. On top of that I'm pretty awkward, and I didn't have a girlfriend until I was 22. But I followed the "normie" advice above, made up for lost time until it wasn't satisfying anymore, and got married. That doesn't mean it will work for you, but you obviously aren't helping yourself. The tip-off here is that tremu wasn't even talking to you specifically. You took 3 words out of the whole thing, acted is if they were intended for you, chose to get insulted, and then insulted back. If you already wash your face, obviously that part doesn't apply to you, just pay attention to the rest of the advice. But again, it won't work if you're already driving prospective partners away by being an asshole.
LifeProTips
Your empathy seems lacking because not only are you willing to insult a stranger for giving general advice in good faith by calling me stupid (?), but you've now repeatedly and bafflingly taken personal offense to that good faith advice which was offered generally by assuming that it was directed towards you personally, someone whose existence I was completely unaware of, let alone have any personal relationship with. I mean it wasn't even your comment I was originally replying to - you had to seek mine out, and thus seek offense. You seem unable to put yourself not only in my shoes (just trying to help out others based on what has worked for me), but those of anyone seeking advice on the subject for which at least parts of my comment would be helpful (which I genuinely believe is a great many people, as I used to be one of them, and knew/know plenty others). It's not my intention to be condescending when I say "be a better you" - indeed, the only people who would find it so could probably use a reality check up there in their ivory tower. As to this hypothetical person who's "done" -all- of the things I suggested: * First of all, this isn't a bucket list that you check off one by one. It's habits that you form, that become a part of who you are. You do them every day. The implication that one "has done" instead of "is doing" these things is that one has no more room for improvement, i.e. is perfect. IMO, not a good mindset. People generally don't like arrogance. * Extending this hypothetical to a person who -actually- has formed habits around all these things, I have a really hard time believing that they need help or advice finding ANYONE to love. What's more likely is they can find someone, but that someone isn't fill-in-the-blank enough (pretty, smart, interesting, whathaveyou). In which case, I would recommend to just stick with these things listed above and keep improving yourself, and/or find other ways to improve yourself. Best way to punch up, no matter who you are, is to be a better you. * Extending this hypothetical to a person who not only does all these things regularly, but legitimately can't find ANYONE to love - listen, I'm not a life coach, dating coach, pickup artist, or psychologist. Never claimed to be. But if you're asking me to guess, in this event horizon hypothetical, I'd say that person likely has some significant personality defect. For instance, maybe they come across like an asshole without even realizing it. So, this person probably has something specific to work on that would be of greater benefit to them than general self-improvement. The best way to do that would depend greatly upon the problem and the individual. * Alternatively, this hypothetical person could simply be deeply insecure. For instance, they might seek out ways to be offended in order to justify highly antagonistic behavior, like the "Hugh Mungus What" lady. This pattern is almost universally unattractive. The prescription for this would be - you guessed it - improving yourself, possibly in the ways I listed before. Developing any one of the countless venues for self-improvement inherently builds confidence, and confidence is the antidote to insecurity. In any case, no matter who you are, it's all about being better every day. If you're genuinely putting in the effort instead of sitting around waiting for Mr. or Ms. Right to fall into your lap (or worse, becoming increasingly bitter that Mr. or Ms. Right hasn't just fallen into your lap already), then it really is just a matter of time. The only real caveat to this that I can think of is if you live in an area where your prospective dating pool is significantly outnumbered by your competition. In which case, improving yourself becomes -even more- important. If you build it, they will come. Good luck.
LifeProTips
This is so stupid too. Story time. A girl from high school got rear ended by an older woman. The girl was clearly not at fault, and in my state unless you're on camera backing into someone it's almost impossible to be found at fault if your vehicle is hit from behind. The older woman was very upset at the ordeal and started crying, and the girl apologized for the mess they were in. It would have been the first of your two quotes. The older woman took that quote to court (I don't remember if the woman hired attorneys or told her insurance who fought it on her behalf) and tried to claim it was the girls fault and that the girl had admitted it. Luckily it was settled out of court for not that much but apologizing anywhere near a car accident even for something unrelated can put you in significant legal jeopardy. People suck.
LifeProTips
And, as the new Woodward book points out in its chronicling of the Trump campaign at the time of the pussygrab tape, there were two main strategies forward beyond giving up (which was nearly the consensus itself): there was going on ABC and being apologetic, and then there was doubling down with a crowd of adoring redhats and attacking the media for wanting him to quit. This underdog went with the latter, in this and in every subsequent decision, and he won the election. When you're already a total piece of shit and have an adoring fanbase, for whatever reason including all the wrong reasons, do NOT follow the advice of this LPT.
LifeProTips
That's why I preface all of my apologies with lengthy terms and conditions. "By hearing the apology I am about to make, you consent to disacknowledge it as an admission of guilty for perpetuity and this is binding to you and anyone associated with you by any biological or other means. If you do not wish to consent to this, you may choose to: evacuate your cranium with a well-placed discharge from, but not limited to, a handheld or mounted firearm as described in the addendum included after the apology, pierce the bodily membrane by which you may or may not perceive air particles energized by a source of energy in the form of waves, or cover your ears. I'm so sorry! Addendum 1 of 30 follows..."
LifeProTips
In Australia I had an accident when a guy was taking a right hand turn (we drive on the left), and was waiting for oncoming traffic to make a gap, so I went to go around him. As I pulled back in front he'd decided he didn't want to turn and drove straight into the back of me. Got out, he apologised, said it was his bas, exchanged details, etc. My insurance comes back to me and says that it was technically my fault, I told them he even apologised and took responsibility. Didn't matter.
LifeProTips
I've seen some hilariously mis-guided skill requests in software. There's always the "Requires 3 years experience in a language that left beta last year", but the other day I saw a request for several higher-level web development technologies as well as experience in a 3d game engine. Who the heck is doing full stack web apps + game development? Or at least, who is doing that for less than $200k lol.
LifeProTips
That’s exactly what I did. The best part is they are paying for my school for me to meet the requirements. So I got a high paying job I wasn’t completely qualified for plus a free degree. After I started I asked around and it turns out they interviewed others before me that already had their degree. Those people never took the job because they could get better pay elsewhere. But for me it was a fantastic deal.
LifeProTips
> Who the heck is doing full stack web apps + game development? Someone who wants to make a browser based game? There are plenty of browser based games with a 3d engine on Facebook among other sites. A strong background in optimizing browser-based applications with some experience in game engines seems a pretty desirable combination for that employer. I can't comment on the salary for that kind of ask though.
LifeProTips
Ha "entry level" is a fucking lie, just graduated, trying to apply some some jobs with that tag, none replied. They should have rename "entry level" to "less pay job cuz my company is fucking poor and need experience people". If I'm so experienced I wouldn't even consider apply for a job in your piss poor company. I wouldn't be so mad if they at least gave me a chance for testing my skill set or interview. Remember employers, you're asking for "entry level"
LifeProTips
People with five years experience don't accept entry level jobs. If they are posting entry level they are hiring entry level. If it says entry level you should apply even if you don't have every skill they ask for on the application. That's where making sure your resume stands out comes into play. A hiring manager is going to have 100 resumes to look at when they post a job so yours needs to stick out. I work in software Dev and had the same problems when trying to get my first job. If your industry is similar and you'd like me to take a look at yours and offer feedback I'd be happy to.
LifeProTips
You do know I'm joking about 5 year "entry level" candidate right ? Anyway I got the job sometime ago but during the job search, most company made me question "da hell do you want from an entry level candidate?" I made my resume in black and white, categorized and point form, all in one page, CGPA 3.3 i think not sure if that matters as some of my friend got higher than me was still in job search during that time.
LifeProTips
Unfortunately here in Texas there is a fairly specific line of electronics technicians, especially those who specialize in industrial controls, that had people with 5 years experience getting into entry level jobs. The big oilfield boom produced a shitload of people that got 3-5 years experience before the bust. That left us with an absolute fuck ton of folks moving to adjacent industries to get entry level jobs because they needed a job. Its been getting much better over the past 2 years or so, but that just screwed a lot of people like me who were fresh out of college into having a hard time finding good actual entry level jobs where we had planned due to the excess of actual experienced techs being willing to take the positions. This is definitely a bit of an outlier, but it happens.
LifeProTips
> you can do all the things you did in college still but now you can earn more money. Yeah unless you got a liberal arts degree or work in one of the many fields which make you work internships or start in mail rooms. My early 20s were fun since my friends and I all had the time/youthful vigor to party like college, but my quality of life was super dismal. I may not be able to crush a twelver of Milwaukee’s Beast in my 30s, but at least I can afford a better beer.
LifeProTips
I think you might be looking in the wrong places. It's easy to meet new people if you put yourself into situation with like minded people. Join a book club, play golf, Go to a gym (Not like planet fitness, like MMA, rock climbing, Crosfitt), hang out at a local pub (Not a club). Find something that you're interested in and you'll easily meet people without an awkward ice-breaking process because you immediately have a connection. The friends in my life now that I'm closest with are people I've known less than 10 years so I've met almost all of them in my 30s. I still keep in touch with most of my high school friends, but have definitely culled the one's that aren't worth the effort.
LifeProTips
Good question. Some of them were at my previous job, some I met by joining groups in the community and volunteering (Met Up is a great resource to find people), and some I met when I started my own business and began networking (still hoping those will go the distance). On the other hand, my husband only has like 2 friends. That's because he refuses to make any effort or to go out and meet people. Like most things in life, it's all about the work you put in behind the scenes. It works when you prioritize spending time with the people you meet to maintain the relationships.
LifeProTips
I hope you don't mind a bit of advice, but I think the best way to deal with that is to make your life as awesome as you can. Fill it with things you love, like helping other people or your hobbies and interests. Romance is important, but if you make yourself the best version you can, it will be a lot easier to find someone. And you will be way happier on your journey through life. Best of luck to you!
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I mean. I enjoy my life as long as I don't think about being the only person I know who hasn't had any type of love in 6 years. I enjoy the games I play, I don't have my job that much, I do Improv and am working on VO work as a dream but sometimes like today I see all these happy people and know I'll never have that. The only thing I think I should do more is exercise. But I would only be doing it to attract someone and I have it so I would probably end up resending it.
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I've gone through some soul crushing hard times in the past, and I know that depression is a beast to kick. But I also know that you attract like things into your life. Stop thinking you'll never have what other people have. It's the best way to make sure you never get it. What do you have to offer that will make another person want to spend time with you? Are you funny? Are you kind? Start working on the things you're putting out into the world. If you're out of shape and could maybe work on your appearance a little bit, are you only chasing women who are really attractive? What benchmarks do you use to measure potential partners? I've seen people shoot way high, but are unwilling to make the changes in themselves to be at the same level. Or they're discounting amazing people because of these high standards. Just some things to think about. You seem like an awesome person who's suffering from some not so great things at the moment.
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I am not unattractive I'd say. I'm 5 11 and 170 lbs. I'm not large just not muscular, just a little too much on the stomach but not noticeable when clothed. I feel like physically I'm not ruined but I know something must be wrong with me if after this long nobody is willing to even try. I don't go out with this attitude when I try to make things happen, this is more the sit in bed and be sad posting online in my despair mood. If I feel like this I just don't even try. I'd say really after this long the hardest things might be where to find new people who are interested. And then actually saying something because I'm in my head too much and I'll probably assume I'll fail.
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dude once you master hardboiled egg - life changes in so many ways. my stove is place 6 eggs in a strainer thats laid inside a pan with cold water on stovetop with high heat. after 16 minutes the water boil. turn off, cover and let it sit for 6minutes and 30 seconds. during that time, i fill a small container with ice and water and.place it in the freezer. after 6:30, place eggs in the ice water, still in the freezer for 5 minutes. move to tupperware and fridge. enjoy perfect yellow hardboiled eggs. i reduce to 5:00 cooldown for slightly softboiled eggs
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It kind of depends on your cookware and even your heating surface. Here is one way I found online that is literally the most painless: 1. Put eggs in pot of water. 2. Boil water 3. As soon as it boils, turn off the heat. 4. Let it sit there and remove it like 10 or so minutes later, depending on how done you want them. 5. Drain the water and then put them under running water to cool them down.
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I do this. I recognize that sometimes, people are just trying to take that next step in life. Ain't necessarily them. Take the high road and move on. Now, this isn't always the case. If they're particularly petty, or known to be thereof, I ghost the ghoster. Granted, I've been victim to some pretty rough treatment for this, up to corporate plots to have me fired and a _restraining order_ for harassment (I was the ghoster) so take it as you will
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This. I had a close friend ignore my texts and phone calls for months and I grew really worried until one day he texted me a long winded text saying that he was going through a rough time and didn't think I was a helpful presence/didn't like my advice. It broke my heart and honestly I wish they said that up front instead of ghosting me and causing me worry for so long. Like OP said sometimes friends are going through tough stuff when they drop contact but sometimes some of that tough stuff involves them wanting you out of their life. Bummed me out.
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I've been on the other end (hell, still best friends with them). It's not that they are a bad person or a bad friend or anything. I love spending time with them. It's just that for many things I've struggled with, they have a total inability to comprehend what I was/am going through and the advice they gave me was just tone deaf, inappropriate and insulting. But yeah. Doesn't make them a bad person. Just lived a different life. I'll basically just pretend it's all fine and I'm alright when talking to them. No need to make it worse for everyone.
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I kind of was on both ends of that. I had a friend who I was best friends with for many years. I knew they were always stubborn and difficult to work with sometimes, but I was at a point in time where I couldn't deal with the stubbornness. They time and time again attacked my other friends. Would not accept that my friends of certain professions were decent people (sales reps - not cars). Was really judgemental towards some of my friends appearances (physical disabilities). I probably wasn't the most charitable when I pointed out the stereotyping and discrimination. But I probably offended my friend by pointing it out. Now we both avoid gatherings so we don't cross paths.
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I’d rather piss someone off by ignoring their ghosting attempts (because idc if I annoy them after they’ve tried to bloody ghost me anyway) then potentially miss reaching out to them when they most need it. It’s like with super old school friends that I see on social media having a tough time. We were never close and they probably think i’m a proper weirdo sending them a message offering an ear out of the blue, but I’d rather they think that of me then them not have anyone message them if they actually need it.
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Came here to say this. Had it happen with a guy that had been my close friend for 20+ years. When he was finally confronted about it by my partner, he came out with a load of lies about me and said I was an asshole that she didn't deserve. Turns out, he just wanted her for himself and thought that she'd throw away a 4 year relationship. Didn't work out for him.
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This is the real LPT. Don't count on the Goodwill store near a nice neighborhood to have especially nice things; they distribute donations among stores. On the other hand, non-Goodwill thrift stores near nice neighborhoods tend to keep their donated clothes and things locally. It's a fallacy that rich people are so cheap and greedy they never donate nice things. Quite the opposite, especially when it comes to expensive clothes. As I write this, I am still kicking myself for *not* buying a beautiful leather pea-coat 5 years ago from a local thrift store in the North Chicago suburbs. Proper Schott Leather Naval Pea Coat, current retail price (they still make them) about $700. It fit me *perfectly* and was beautiful, very well made. They wanted $25 for it. I am an idiot for not buying it immediately. ("Are pea coats coming back in style? Um, I dunno . . .") This was not Goodwill, but a local church-organized thrift shop (truly local, not St. Vincent DePaul or anything like that) and they have some *nice* things. Including some expensive suits and ties for almost nothing. Rich people can afford a new wardrobe each year. Giving the old rags from 2017 to charity makes them feel generous. Also, while I am typing -- garage sales. In wealthy neighborhoods. Be on the lookout, because where I live, the nicest neighborhoods forbid any kind of yard or garage sales, except on specified community garage-sale dates. It probably only happens once a year. And those sales are *gold mines.*
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Take this with a grain of salt, but I've been told that it's not that simple. These people don't have any skills and are on disability. If good will pays them a living wage, those people will then have to get minimum wage and therefore lose their disability benefits. Hire normal people, that's cool too. But then these people with disability have nothing to do all day. Goodwill basically gives people who wouldn't normally be able to have a job a place to go. And since they can come and leave their jobs at their choosing, they are able to not reapply for disability benefits every time they can't handle work.
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Seriously, decided to go looking for old hardware, as I'm a cheap bastard and often bored. Hit up a few Goodwills in my round of thrift stores. They literally were all the same. Same layout. Same mediocre selection of electronics. I even swear I saw the same shitty $3 shelves in more than one location. But here are two more valuable LPTs with regard to Goodwill: - Anything _really_ good gets auctioned via their website. - Target donates excess inventory (eg, when they're switching things out) to Goodwill. Scored a lamp my girlfriend wanted but didn't want to pay full price for. Neat.
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I went to a local goodwill when I was in college and my computer chair broke. I didn't think I could afford a new one so I bought one from goodwill that looked like it had been scratched up by a dog or cat for $45, then found the same model in walmart for $40, new. Not sure who the hell priced that or why I didn't look elsewhere at the time...
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Goodwill stores are set up by districts, and not all districts operate the same way. In the district I'm in, the stores put out both individual donations and donations shipped in from other stores. We also get leftover clearance items from Target and Walmart, and they also put out their own dollar-store-esq crap. There's a rotation of colored tags, so if something is out on the shelf for more than a month (as indicated by the week that color tag was put out) and doesn't sell, it's packed up and shipped to another store. My mom used to be a manager at Goodwill and it was actually pretty fascinating to hear about the differences.
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Find moving sales in rich neighborhoods. They don't want to bother with their extra shit, and beyond some select items they want to keep, they'd rather quickly sell off stuff instead of paying to move it. I went to one when I bought my house a few years ago and came away with enough stuff that I needed to rent a truck and come back. Nice tables and dressers for $30 each, etc. Probably just enough money so that he could feel like he sold them (and I'd assume he also liked that I was moving into a new place and not a dealer trying to flip the stuff - although, I guess he couldn't really know for sure).
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I put in time at a goodwill. They don’t just ship stuff to other goodwills, they only ship the shit they don’t want. There’s sorters in he back who look at things and check condition and value, when they see good stuff they’ll keep it. We rarely just threw stuff into a truck. I volunteered at a “higher end” goodwill and I’ll have to say that it was much better than at a lower income area goodwill. People were donating things that still had price tags on them. It’s not necessarily the wealth of the community, but essentially people who are moving or just moved in. I would find areas where the population is growing and check those goodwills out.
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Yep. The "New Goods" stickers are all overstock from other retailers. Target, Walmart, and a third one I can't remember. At the one I worked at, we had slightly different barcode tags, to keep track of what came from where - since they pay for those, they actually keep track of the inventory. Like, if "New Goods" was in a rectangle, a circle, or had no border indicated which retailer it came from. As for the same layout, we also had that between our different stores. The idea is that since they're laid out the same, customers will have an easier time shopping at different ones - they'll know approximately where everything is. The same selection of electronics is just that everyone who donates stuff bought the same useless crap on a whim and when they realized they never used it, it all went to Goodwill. I saw sooo many of those lamps made of a pink rock/crystal with the bulb inside.
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I have neighbors that are part of something kind of like goodwill. Their garage is full of random shit like 20 watches (no joke) and random antiques. Sometimes they do garage sales but they have only been there for like a year and there is no way they have just collected like 20 watches over the years. I personally think they are taking all the good shit before it his the shelves and then sell it.
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Value Village is a total crapshoot for me here, depending on when I go. I've seen 10 year old campus welcome week volunteer shirts go for $10 in the same row I've purchased an amazing denim styled hoodie for $5. I've also an adult beer league hockey jersey with an obviously-inside-joke logo on it selling for the same price as an authentic NHL jersey. It's not even always the stores that vary, it's the individual products.
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They use the money from sales to help people in theory. Also, poor people can buy decent clothes cheaper than retail. For example, Rich people might buy new Levi's or Carhartt pants every year. Then poor people get to buy basically new pants for 5$ that will last way longer than Walmart shit they could normally afford. Also, if you were homeless it might be better to go the the soup kitchen on the better side of town.
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Only sort of. They've faced a lot of criticism for paying employees far below minimum wage, sometimes as little as $1-2 per hour, while simultaneously paying their executives very well, in some cases over $1,000,000 per year. This is legal because of a little-known law regarding employment of handicapped persons (which Goodwill specializes in), wherein the business can pay the employee a percentage of minimum wage based on what percent of the job the person is deemed to be able to do. While the employment of handicapped persons is unquestionably good, the wage percentage "loophole" is highly subjective and open to abuse. Source: [watchdog.org](https://www.watchdog.org/national/policies-tax-dollars-enrich-goodwill-execs/article_7e117259-609a-5ea1-a144-de3ef58734c9.html) See also: [Wikipedia Goodwill Criticisms](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goodwill_Industries#Criticism_and_compensation)
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> From your link, it appears 73% of people who made 100-200k itemized and 92%! of people making $200-500k. While I don't consider that 'rich', many people don't make that much. And you've chosen to only look at the richer folk, though I do agree that a family making $100k-$200k is pretty solidly middle class. If you look at *everybody*, for the last tax year, 26.3% of all households itemized, and they predict that for this tax year that'll drop to 7.6% -- that difference is huge. The median household income is about $60k -- for the $50k-$75k bracket, the itemizing percentage drops from 36% to 7.5%.
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Lol I wondered what you thought my name had to do with the ceo of Lululemon getting fired then hired by Nasty Gal. Basically I was at some aquarium in Australia and they had all these pictures on the wall of orcas and whales breaching, or for those who don't know what that is, jumping and splashing on their backs, which it's apparently some form of communication in some cases. Anyway there were so many of these pictures we started joking that the whales were one-upping each other, "hey check out this breach!" "nah man, check out THIS breach"
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I know the one an ex of mine used to work at (probably like 9-10 years ago?) used to pay for GED classes, had health insurance for it's people before ACA, and some other stuff. They may pay their CEO a bunch of money (I have no idea), but who's going to run a company with 3.5 billion in revenue on a non-competitive salary? It's like people bitching about Bezos' 2 billion dollar charity contribution the other day: Sure, it's an awfully small percentage of his worth (like 1.5% or something) but it's two billion dollars that weren't there before.
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Yeah, rich people garage sales/estate sales are hit or miss. They’ll charge $3-6 for things other people sell at $1 or .50 cents. But I did get like a $400 herringbone chair in perfect condition for 60 bucks once. They often have certain things you won’t find at middle or lower income garage sales. Consignment shops can be pretty great for nice clothes. There’s one near the rich neighborhood that has very nice clothes; costs more than Goodwill but less than a retail store.
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The point I was trying to make is that I was under the impression these charities are supposed to be selling stuff to poor people, and the idea that some middle class shoppers just casually walk in there and go on a shopping spree to get bargains on leather coats just sounds wrong to me. But maybe it's part of their business model to sell clothing to non-poor people, and use the money to help the poor people as you say. But in that case, shouldn't they try to sell the clothes for a proper price instead of 1/10 of their worth? You know, so they get more money to help poor people.
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Yeah, Goodwill doesn't really have the greatest reputation. I believe their mission has to do mostly with providing work, and a starting point for those who might otherwise not get it, like felons, special needs people, things that generally keep you from easily finding work. I imagine that if they charged higher prices, they would do less volume of sales, and when you get your products for free, why not sell them really cheap? And as someone who is not broke, but definitely lower middle class, it's nice to have a decent place to get quality clothing.
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There was a time in my life when I was able to own jeans, shirts, work blouses and slacks, coat, jacket, and shoes thanks to my local goodwill. Costs $0.50 to $5.00 for the clothes. I think 20$ for the jacket and 40$ for an extremely nice cashmere coat that fit me perfectly. If it weren't for Goodwill, I would have had to wear the same two pairs of jeans and shirts every day for months. Some Goodwills are fantastic.
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> I volunteer at a goodwill in SC. This is entirely not correct. Well it's at least partially correct. In my area, Chicago suburbs, Goodwill stores 100% do move inventory among stores. Goodwill Industries of Northern Illinois. I have seen them do it. I have asked them why they are loading inventory onto a Goodwill truck at one store -- because they are moving it to another location. Why? Because we have too much stuff here. Goodwill Northern Illinois has 12 stores and they are expanding. At least that's what I was told on the dock at a donation center. They even run a special "Goodwill Outet" store -- that store does not have a donation center, it only gets inventory from other stores. Also there is a donation center in Illinois with no store, so obviously anything that gets donated there has to be distributed among other locations. Of course, as someone else has mentioned somewhere else in this thread, things may be different in other districts.
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I'm Facebook friends with a former coworker who was a talker. Like compulsively so. I was tasked with giving her training at work and had a real hard time because she wouldn't shut up long enough for me to train her. But I'm too nice a person, I guess, so I listened to her a lot and let her talk me into friending her on Facebook. I figured I would unfriend her pretty quick, but it turns out she's much more bearable over Facebook...
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Exactly. The complainers are just too hard to deal with. I have coworkers that only complain about customers, and then wonder why I'm so quiet. Especially at a point in my life where I want to be more positive. I hope your friend wises up one day and becomes someone you actually enjoy being around. I'd say ditch her, but sometimes less than stellar friends are better than no friends at all.
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This. I figure it’s a good thing to be reflecting on your own behavior based on these experiences. That’s probably half the battle already. I guess, just remember what it feels like to be on both sides, and empathize with the other person whether you’re on the talking or listening side. Try to develop an awareness of your actions in a social context, and actively apply that knowledge when interacting. I know I try to edit down my lengthy statements when in a conversation, but then I also feel like I have a lot to say about any one topic, and just as you mentioned, I also want to talk a lot out of loneliness. I guess there are many aspects of the situation to consider. Including addressing the loneliness itself, and also seeking more practice socializing. But self-awareness is key. If you have that, you’re already ahead of many other people.
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Yo man, dating apps are bullshit. I'd consider myself somewhat successful with girls, but I have 0 luck with Tinder and the likes. Keep your chin up and delete those apps. Focus on what you like and what you're good at. Like-minded people will be doing similar. It's not easy, but try to be happy by yourself. Because if you can't be happy with yourself, you probably can't be happy with someone else. Cheers, mate. Love you
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Yup. Although it’s a great tip to not be out right rude and dismissive, you’re also encouraging a habit. One of my best friends is the kind of people who has to talk through every feeling. She talks for 40 minutes straight and the minute you start talking you can tell they are distracted (searching Instagram, texting, etc.). It has made me feel like I can’t share my feelings with people because I don’t want to be that guy that dumps my emotions all over someone. It took me a long time to realize that setting boundaries wasn’t being rude or a bad friend.
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I said it kinda makes me paranoid. There's a difference there. Do you not have any insecurities that make you question how others feel towards you, regardless of their demeanor? I'm genuinely asking. And I'm not really upset, but when someone posts something entirely unhelpful, then I'm gonna respond back. A good example of why my response to you is what it is, is another comment starting out the same as yours, except they went on to offer advice. Your comment comes off as someone just trying to make another person feel bad. Maybe that's not how you meant it, but it's the tone I got.
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That's a good question, and I wasnt expecting it lol thanks for asking. Singing is something I've always loved. Dreamed of being in a metal band since I was a kid haha Music in general has always been awesome to me. Never well off enough to buy instruments to learn though. Other than that... Gaming, stupid YouTube videos lol and trying to get into politics / current events lately. How about you?
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So do I! Haha. I felt like what I offered wasn’t the most helpful, but it’s good for us to talk about this stuff with others, regardless of if we can achieve a concrete answer to our dilemmas. Because I think it’s good to realize we aren’t alone in this. And it’s good to talk over everything in teams/groups, to try to work through challenges. I guess the best thing for me has been finding groups of socially-adept people, who will be kind and welcoming, to spend time with. Immersion, basically. Not even people that relate to my social challenges, but people who are compassionate, patient, welcoming; who also have highly-developed social abilities. So I can learn through mirroring, and absorbing their demeanor as my new internalized “base-level” expectation of functionality. Also patience and positivity with yourself, and thereby trying not to be in denial. Accepting the reality of your challenging situations, but also taking a perspective on everything that’s pro-learning.. don’t chastise yourself over being behind or still needing to learn. Congratulate yourself for trying. Those things help me tremendously, but my main struggles (for some time) have been anxiety which keeps me from going out and trying to learn; and depression which causes me to judge myself harshly... so they combine into a vicious cycle. And frankly, I think meditation and a healthy lifestyle (healthy diet and exercise, sleep patterns, etc) are also essential prerequisites for success in any of these endeavors. I guess I got a little carried-away here. Just sharing what little I’ve learned that might actually help someone else. For what it’s worth, I think meditation is the biggest helper here. It facilitates all the rest. But in my own experience, it’s difficult to feel able to do it when I’m anxious and depressed as a general rule. Now, that’s funny because it’s actually the solution... so it’s like people saying they could never do yoga because they’re not flexible, while yoga is the very thing to develop that flexibility. So, I guess in that case, maybe try mindfulness exercises and not strictly seated meditation. There are guided exercises on apps, YouTube videos, in books, etc. But I have thus far continued to live with all of my maladaptive coping mechanisms, and usually allow them to dictate my lifestyle. It’s not ideal. So try not to get stuck doing THAT for too long. But don’t beat yourself up for having more to learn, either. Hope that’s all a worthwhile read for someone out there.
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Or you gain the (multiple in my case) unwanted friend that literally talks about nothing but themselves at that point, with no interest in a single thing you have to say. It’s not necessarily their fault, but it’s exhausting devoting yourself to completely one-sided relationship. I’ve had to learn the hard way that I need to set firm boundaries, and that ultimately I don’t owe anyone my time - I give it out of concern and kindness, but people have a funny way of feeling entitled to things.
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That was a worthwhile read for me. Anxiety and depression get the best of me quite often too. And just like you say, meditation is great, but it's hard to do, cause my mind never really wants to shut down. I think one thing I'm gonna try here soon is doing my daily stuff without music, or browsing reddit. I'm always needing distractions, like needing music while just walking around town. I think I'm scared to be in my own head a lot of the time. I really like a lot of your advice, and I'm gonna implement some of it when I move back to my hometown. I made the mistake of moving far away from there for a girl last year lol as weird as it is to say, I don't want any social circle here, because I don't want to have to leave that behind. This reply was wayyy late lol but I appreciate you taking the time to write all that out. Other people's opinions and how they view things is always interesting to me.
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I've heard stories where neighbours call to have someone's car towed for it being simply parked on the street (where it is legal to park) in front of their house. Or property managers calling tow trucks on people they just don't like. Or, I just saw this video of this tow truck in Detroit that tows anyone in the McDonald's parking lot. The company runs some scheme with the owner of the store where the owner would have anyone's car towed if it's been there for more than 10 minutes.
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People that haven't worked out since high school, absolutely. I found out how out of shape I was recently, and it was downright pathetic. Three minutes on an elliptical made any sitting /standing/lying down excruciating for three days. I'm pretty sure if I tried to do push ups, I'd maybe get 1. That's not a typo, I did say one. That being said, I'm starting personal training in a week to start fixing my situation.
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With all due respect internet friend, your comment and mine aren’t even remotely related. We live a world where we are more connected than we ever have been. We have more information at our finger tips than ever before. We have access to an almost infinite amount of free information that literally tells us how to be healthy and live healthy, using workouts that don’t involve paying for a gym membership. Eating healthy is not cheap, but exercise is free. There is no rational excuse for not exercising other than simply not wanting to. 25 push ups a day can add years to your life. Do 100 push ups, 10 at a time, throughout the day. Become a better you. Choosing not to is okay, but just realize that you’re only doing yourself and those you love a disservice when you die young when you didn’t have to.
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With all due respect internet friend, your comment and mine aren’t even remotely related. We live a world where we are more connected than we ever have been. We have more information at our finger tips than ever before. We have access to an almost infinite amount of free information that literally tells us how to be healthy and live healthy, using workouts that don’t involve paying for a gym membership. Eating healthy is not cheap, but exercise is free. There is no rational excuse for not exercising other than simply not wanting to. 25 push ups a day can add years to your life. Do 100 push ups, 10 at a time, throughout the day. Become a better you. Choosing not to is okay, but just realize that you’re only doing yourself and those you love a disservice when you die young when you didn’t have to.
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When I was in the Marines my buddies and I had a stupid work out game for COD MW2 that we each got a life on multiplayer and while one played the other two had to do a workout, the person with the controller called out what the workout would be. It was never anything crazy due to the size of out bricks room but it helped add a few pullups to my PFT score...thanks door frame pull up bar.also made staying alive very a much more stressful endeavor especially if you called out something shitty like Smurf Jack's
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Best dog I ever had was one of two left from a litter that was born and lived under a foot bridge in a tent camp for summer cannery workers. I pulled them both out and kept the one that was chill and didn’t squirm and cry. Mud flap was one of the blessings of my life and we had 14 years together. Most of his ashes are in a hollow tree in my yard. The rest are in the Stono river where we spent good times together catching fish and barking at floats for crab traps.
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In that situation I wouldn't have been able to not take both puppers. Two left in the litter, take one and leave the last sibling alone with absolutely no family and still waiting for someone to pick them? After he/she has had to sit there while their brothers and sisters were taken away one by one? Sitting in a tent village below a bridge? Yeah, no, both are coming with me. Edit: Autocorrect, you really made me look like a fool their.
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Raising puppies together is actually not recommended. They can develop littermate syndrome, where they bond to each other more than their humans, and be very difficult to train and have together as they get older. This can also turn into aggression towards each other. The best way to prevent it is to raise them nearly completely separate from each other - separate walks, separate vet visits, separate playtime, separate mealtime, sleep in different rooms, etc. It's a LOT of work. Littermate syndrome doesn't automatically happen and some (maybe most? not sure on #s) littermates are fine together, but since you can't know until it's too late, it's best to actively try to prevent it.
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Ironically I considered myself very liberal up until a year or so ago. I still identify politically as a liberal if I'm asked because I'm far off from a conservative, but everyone has just gone so far into their rabbit holes this political season I don't want to identify with either parties so I avoid the question entirely unless it's someone I know. I'll just say "I'm a person" if a stranger asks me because I know that no matter what I say it's a 50/50 chance I'm in for some really unnecessary presumptions. "Liberal" "Ahh so you support murderous thieves?" "Conservative" "Ah so you are racist?" "Moderate" "Ah, so you're a virgin?" There's really no winning.